The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1894-10-11
The Popular Woman.


be popular will-unless her own re-
mark is wonderfully pert, her own
story wonderfully good, her own song
snpernally sweet--allow another to
make the remark, to tell the story, or
to sing the song. Always assuming
that it is popularity she looks for, then
the report of her sweetness, her inter
est, her amiability, will stand her in
far more stead t,iat any report of her
b.illiancy, her wit, her repartee.
The woman who has all her resources
at command, story apropOs for every
thing, a cutting sarcasm, a stinging
jest, a smiling retort, can pass away the
hour for stupid man but 1t is doubt
full if, when he goes away, ne Is not
conscious that he has made poor fig
ure in her society, and it is tolorably
sure that he does not feel we'll enough
pleased with himself to be pleased with
her. A brilliant woman may cut a
great dash at dinner party, but it is
not impossible that she is hindering
some one else from cutting dash, and
it is no better for her in the end than
if she had been little dull. She who
Grams Tor dinner party, gets up her
subjects with all the information to be
had, and jokes and anecdotes to cor
respond, and then leads the conversa-
ton to them, and sets them all off in a
fine feu de joie, makes great mistake,
so far as it is an attempt for popularity,
even if her information be new and
her mots have all the air of spontaneity !;
much of her effort goes for little or no
thing; she would really do better to
hold herself in reserve merely to fill
the gaps and to keep the ball rolling.
Popularity may be poor stuff and
not worth having in this light. It has
to be confessed that it is an unworthy
thing to strive for, even though it in
wolves the love of our fellows, for it is a
love sought unworthily and for selfish
ends and without a return of equal
love the desire for it is only another
form of self love and vanity. It is
quite aside from any effort after it that
an altruistic view of life comes in. For
there is surely a sort of seltishness IN al
ways saying the bright thing there is
even form of good breeding in giving
others the opportunity of saying it, in
not allowing them to feel themselves
outshone very re-eminently 1t is
the grace of the golden rule, indeed,
that is sometimes evinced in declining
to take the lead entirely and the wo-
man who is always putting the shy
and awkward at ease, who is trying to
bring out the best in others, is really
more gracious, better remembered and
loved, than if she had shown all the
wit of De Stael or the intellect of Ma
rian Evans If one sees how much
better the conversation would go it one
could have ones say, and yet forbears,
in order that others may have their
say, such as it Is, SO long as they enjoy
saying it, one is certainly exercising a
virtue, and every time the virtue is ex-
erclsed its possession is strengthened !;
for certain truths hold good in the NOR
al life as much as in the physical.
There Is really such thing as being
too smart, of over-reaching ones SELF
No one who is too smart is loved, and
most people of the sort are disliked.
There is a golden mean in the matter,
and it Is so rarely reached that per-
haps it's attainment might be intellect
ually, not to say morally, an equal
achievement with the exhibition of an
excess of brilliancy. And yet does it
undo all that has been said to remem-
Der how one has admired some witty
woman making rapt citcle listen to
her with gay admiration, while her
sallies came as the water comes down
at Lodore, and all her air seemed to
say, ''This is my throne, let kings come
and bow to it,?
Plastering 125 Years Old.