The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1894-01-14

For my part | cannot speak from ac-
tuai experience. never having been for
tunate enough TO secure wife The fact
Is, in my younger days. made matri-
monial apple alton 10 pretty much every
individual in my town that wore skirts.
but was turned down" In every case.
Twas something like applying for bus
mess position. / was told that my appl-
eaton would be filled and would receive
due consideration. That was the last
heard from II.
But il It costs nine million OF dollars for
the ruler OF the rat-eaters TO get In IL,
wonder what X takes TO set out OF ~; for
many a man reflects during some periou
of his matrimonial career IL It wouldn't
lave been better 20 remain IN single bless
edness after all. The ching-chais man
having long list Of wives, imagine.
feels that ne has made mistake when
the entire delegation marches In and calls
for spring bonnets. lie, perhaps. mas an
impression like that of Frankiin-street
friend of mine. The latter has been mar
rled some little time now, and his purse
strange to say, grows rapidly smaher'
A week or so since, his wife ran IN upon
him while lazy putting his ten-cent CT
gar and totally. unmindful OF my pres
once began I'm this strain: Nov. you
dear old fellow" chucklns him under me
chin. Il want that pretty evening wrap
saw in a shop window yesterday. It's
beauty ard costs only eighty dollars.
Now. don't say no. for you know TOOK
vou for better or for worse
perhaps So" returned the husband
drylv. but | think you took me for q
sucker"
Tho following Is a Richmond girls idea
Of a newspaper: First the Editor nc
must edit a daily paper. and be sure ne
cote the names OF every person III 'ne
citv In IL az least three times week.
1'hen the reporters They should coiiec'
ali the gossip from the club rooms. res,au-
rants. and sewing circles. They mus' po
,,or,, witty and have enough brains 10
MAKO mn for all the stupid people IN the
CITY. The printers, too, shouia pe ~.
in every detail. Should they man ,"e
name Phelkshauschoeltz spe' az
kauso hoeltz. why, they shou'u 49,.
,b,rrsd at once. for proper NAMES az
-. ,,,,ortant. The paper itself must ne
fru ~ street gossip, Astounding IN scan-
al - a nrivate nature. ana cohs'ah,,
...',,,,,,no an" lake JcLes for the spe'i'i
..s,,.'~r,et of half a dozen subscribers VINO
-, tho that individual. Society news
e,o,,t1 he placed on a separate Pabe'
r,,rs must Ice any quantity or stage eha..
a,s column after column or perso'.s-
An kinds of entertainments M''aS'
charitable or not, should DC .eey
vertised without charge. Snou,u ~" 4,
80. no published I'm NashhBton'
p ", to the world the exact nuinps.
as'' .s''as Grover Cleveland winks ms iei'
Ol Ut ~, dav IL Il has It's origin IN N'cn-
eSN a, should. by all means, iey'o"
HUM ,ho history OF the late war -.
piithy -, edition. and the columns
eaon ,, ha thrown open TO All INC a.
snour' ING authoresses who Wri'' 49, ,,.ar
p ~ Hone" "spring," Love- a"D
similar subjects.
I while passing down MAIN ST. Yen rom
,a,iced a young woman s'ep -,
day, n'" =, the same time droppshk
,s,nc that aroused my suspi.'o's I.
ea rather surprised TO hhu '""e ~,
"% us a wig. She biushed c,n '. -,
atuN ,,u the ornament. ana ~,
Pi0n - was an unfortunate "SS'uS- y.
aW"y nos told that her most u''o'''
s..,,rer witnessed the occur en~'' -.
aoin, ,,,, woman, beware Of false 'ov 49,, ~
49,, Young lady who Was 49,
al her possessions by sucn ''-a1ssd
We. possessions. however WIZ a'.,i,l
20 one finance. II happe"'u'
like this .,a
with roguish nan"
lie tried I'm vain
no steal a golden tress'
"Vu have TO ask
You TO refrain'
She gaily SAID;
..Thev are not mine
rn~y belong to sister Less.
-.
=. l.. well known fact tla' oo''
oo,a occasionally drop into poetry, =,
20 long wondered why many y, ,ai
,,,ore not seriously huti W =, ~
,'.,.,,ns, from the quality or some Vi -.
Juusine ~ I'm, not mistaken II was bu
- ". 10 anv rate fellow that kne" n"a
W usss talking about who sald ,l,s' -, !.
} ~. az Lord Bryon declared hiHlSrh ~
49,, every young man with pnse 49,,
5 mr. aarl, hair who could inahu.". ".
= anu u.' -, 40 might" and "blsh'
= suSn 49,, ryent TO work CONSTRUCTOR
. ''.. ,rhe consequence is thar the W.
4 49,, nsvsnaper editor has IN put cn =.
|. ALL i'm great big letters my 49,
e nrovOer Is Full" And even INV 80 -
; solve the difficulty. These ions w.,
4 nights one has TO pho" ,niousn =,
:. IT, nage of poetry. Strange 10 say -
Q nies, p'rt,,ro. tn midwinter when the me
: o'lu a., hovering around the freezing POI
a p'.,,,s saw something about inc VIZ.
4 ,rr,.,Ilp or the green meadows, WI
p.sosa writing In July when people -.
v mos dressing in mosquito-ne,t.I
y le,np ,,, ,an 90 select the beautiful sno"
4 90 The merry sleIgh-bells az w W.
r gh,s IL narrowing to the editor VINO ,.,aA
/. q, q. noInt 10 reject such literary eIi,'
n D., 7 once knew boy VINO so'ne ~ !,
: =, into his head that he foula W.
,r,. lie determined 10 CONNIE ~
e,s 70 the truth. Afer much iehc'"'
his first line ran mus
yesterday father and made wei
sweep" ...
That's true" said he, TO himself No
another line" -, ,,,ou,
Finally happy thought flashed thro''
his mind. IL was this
oTo-day the wind came and Die"
down
This was also a true statement pu' ~"
hnw didn't strike the poet az hf,'
,.bvthmical. He pondered Tor An Nv
Two I'D md a word that would ny
.,,,h "sweep." Finally his eyes spa ~
800 his uhvsioeI.omy frightened. pe ~
struck II. With =. flourish OF MS psn
OF yrote the verse complete. Here u ~
Yesterday father and made We
, sweep; 49,, =, ao~
IN Sheep"
,rwaS a brilliant SUCCESS his rhy'
III - good. lie thought he Was bi'
~n-o,rr poet. YOUR UNCLE Fubl.hh