The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1894-06-28

internal economy Of the base, mechanical
sort with which the ingenious but fiuite
artifcer had presumably supplied the
metallic ape? Is not the suggestion an
impudent, nay impious, reflection on in
finite wisdom?
Or, let us ask, what would blue points.
turtle soup. planked shad, canvas back,
salad. Roquefort and coffee, with Johau.
,isberger and old white port discretion
do to the works Of the brazen monkey
In question? Would they have stood the
strain Vi these as long as they did the
gentle plant7
Out upon thee, padrel Dost thou
think to alright US with thy miser-
able bogies? Thou art but very shall
low. or very impudent, fellow. All that
thou has proved III, indeed, thou hast
proved anything,) is that brass monkeys
cannot smoke tobacco with impunity.
and are therein inferior to man. A con-
tention in which we do heartily agree
with thee.
And so, adieul But, hold! Hast thou
ever smoked myself? Perchanee thou
hast. When the curtains were drawn
and thine evil example could do no
harm, hast thou--in order that thou
mightst learn, and so intelligently warn
the sinner-has thou, too, tried the rare
solace Of the wondrous plant? Or, IL
not, art thou at all qualified to speak?
Brass monkeys apart, is not the testi-
mony overwhelmingly against thee, and
art thou not most ignorant of what thou
art most assured? Do thou stick to thy
last. And 80, again, valet
But the editorial echo prolongs the
PADRES wall by the assertion that "No
devote Of the weed has ever graduated at
the head Of his class in Harvard"
"Devote"-we do suspect Niger in the
woodpile here. Does the echo mean to
affirm that no smoker ever graduated,
etc.? II 80, why does he wrap up his
statement in an unknown tongueP II
that be his meaning, il is one of those
statements which cannot readily be dis
posed Of in the absence OF special statis-
tics. But We recall a passage from the
"Fireside Travels" OF James Russell
Lowell lin the Moosehead Journal, we
Think which proved that he not only
smoked, but fully understood that there
are moments when a smoke, to be ut
terly utter, like apple of gold in picture
OF silver. must be set in circumstances Of
dolce far niente.
He there tells US how he lay down In
pretty woodland spot, stretching his
weary length beneath spreading beech
tree, and, smoking his pipe, watched the
other fellows doing the work. We can
not, at the moment, say whether
Lowell graduated at the head Of his class
in Harvard or not, but We can say that
that famous university never turned out
q better man. But whether he did or
not, we confess to seeing little force in
the reason.
Has II been found that, as a rule, the
men who graduated at the head OF their
classes whether they be "devotes" or
not) are in after life the best men physi-
cally or mentally? We trow not. Had
they been "devotes" they might have
lived longer, done more and had better
time. But let that pass.
What senseless, priggish, inverte.
brate thing is this more-righteous-t
thou condemnation Of one OF mans
greatest comforts! Ask the old soldier
what be thought Of tobacco in the marsh
or trench. Ask the sailor. Ask the bored
traveller. Ask the tired man Of letters
or business.
II the Educational Echo wanted to say
that boys should not smoke, why, in the
name of all that is straightforward, did
he not say so? Boys should not smoke.
Paul said: "Strong meat is for men"--so
IS tobacco. Boys don't need 1t. Until
their systems are matured it is not good
for them; just as strong meat is bad for
babes.
Every mother should get her boy to
promise her that he will not smoke till
he is 81 years OF age. Ii the mother 10
what she should be she will get the
promise, and il the boy is worth the
tobacco which lit is hopedl he will burn
later on, he will keep his promise.
But a truce to twaddle. Brass mon
keys, forsooth!
Do the padre and his echo suppose that
boys are taken in by such drivel? Can
we not hear their contemptuous and
comprehensive criticism on the matter:
80 Rats"
But we are becoming impatient. Orr
pipe is out.