The evening world., 1894-06-04
MIR. MUGGs, HIS PORTRAIT.
IL Did Not Suit Him, and He
roDpe I'm 10 Kick.

A prominent citizen rushed wildly into
the editorial office OF an illustrated pro.
vincial paper the other day and ~savagely
Tid-Bits.
What name. sir?' inquired a polite
assistant.
visitor, and as he appeared on the verge
or having "A Mt the assistant FASTENED to
conduct him to the editors room, where
there was a nice soft rug, on which he
could comfortably Kick and scream his
sir" exclaimed the prominent citizen.
glaring at the editor, ''in this weeks
number producing iU OF your paper you
have "A monstrosity rosed to be a
portrait, and underneath is my
j, -. Mugs. Now. ] ask you, is there
the slightest resemblance between this
penny show and myself?"
The editor looked at the portrait and
then calmly scanned his visitor.
NO, sir. there Is not the slightest re-
sembiahce,' he candidly admitted. The
man in this portrait has a straight nose,
whereas your nose is only straightiA
passably so-for about a quarter of an
inch. and then 1t wobb!es all over your
the sky: And this man has a fine, high
marble-like for, head. Your forehead be-
gins too late and end too soon. and
locks as II IA mole had been at work un-
dern"ath II. Again.
Sir" interrupted the prominent citi-
zen blusteringly. how dare your
LET me finish, please" i%nterposed the
editor, with an authoritative air. Again,
this mans eyes ale alike-perfect twins:
one OF your eyes appears to have been
better fed than the other: anyway. it is
twice as large. Perhaps you chew more
G g" on one the sac Sths or }hs fa might tna aaco yGa
for 1t. And this man has "A beautiful
mouth; the lips form what | believe Is
called a Cupid's bow. Now your mouth
Is like a slit in a child's m~oney-box. Ever
had children try to JrOp Dennies in ?"
he asked fncetiously. NO. sir, though
your name Is underneath this portrait,
Il Is no more like you than a pearl Is
Then hoy IS 1t my name is underneath
prominent citizen ferociously.
well" replied the editor, "our artist
took "A sketch of you when YOU were
day, nov, s%Sef% arti st ike most ste ar Gfnsr
is passionately fond of the beautiful;
positively. refused to portray your fca-
lures, and, in "A way. unconsciously pro-
duced the handsome man that appears
in our paper. 1t was very wrong for our
artist to append your name to 1t. just to
save himself further trouble Why.
you're a libel on the portrait, SIR ex-
claimed the editor with seeming indig-
nation. I'm afraid" he continued, mus
insly, I'VE cannot exactly prosecute you
for libel: but | think you ought to write
a letter of a~pology--of course, strictly
speaking, it is our fault, but it would
look better for the apology to come from
you--to the public, which well gladly
print, for your name appearing under
the portrait of a strikingly handsome
man, when, in reality, you are about as
strong an argument in favor of the Oar
winian theory as ever | set eyes on.
VIII you write the letter of apology,
sir?" asked the editor. holding out a
pen.
Blu the prominent citizen, after eye
ing the editors stalwart proportions,
stamped downstairs, muttering the
threats of vengeance that he was afraid
to put into execution.
1T doesn't do to humor people regard
ing their portraits" s%oliloquized the edi-
tor. They are too touchy over them as
1t Is. n want taking down a peg or
two"