The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-10-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Doing time--The lady who grows
younger every year.--Puck.
1t is usually great big man who
insults you. .--Atchison Globe.
The politicians favorite novel
"Put Yourself in His Place. Puck.
Many do a heap of hard climbing in
search of easy grades. Chicago Her
aid.
Order of the Bath-Come right out
of that water this minute Boston
Transcript.
No man can worry about how he
looks and keep his bank account grow
ing. -Atchison Globe.
Some people are of such happy dis
positions that thev never amount to
much. Globe.
A great deal of the piety of to-day
is thing of great beauty because it
is only skin deep. Puck.
Never put any confidence in the
answers of man who is afraid to say
81 don't know" occasionally.
Don't think that because a man has
done you favor he is under everlast-
ing obligations to you. Puck.
Butter is prime while it's fresh but
q man has long lost his freshness when
he reaches his prime. Puck.
"Are you certain that you love me-"
al am" "But are you sure that you
are certain?" New York Press.
The lawyer who worked like horse
was engaged in drawing convey
ance. Boston Commercial Bulletin.
May--"Next to man, what's the
iolliest thing you know ofY' Ethel
''Myself, if he's nice. "--Brooklyn Life.
One of the dampers of ambition is
the fact that the mantle of greatness
has to be worn as shroud too often.
Puck.
Ones own capacity is poor stand
ard of measurement the stars shine,
though my near-sighted neighbor deny
it. Puck.
When a man does not want to do
thing he says 81 cannot;" )" when he
cannot do it he says 81 don't want
to. ."-Fliegende Blaetter.
The average dwarf is ct a very Sc
rious disadvantage. No matter how
large his income he is always sure to
be short. Buffalo Courier.
When boy goes out West hunting,
and writes home that he killed deer,
he can fool his mother, but he can't
fool his father. .-Atchison Globe.
AS the express dashes through the
station-"O, porter, doesn't that
train stop here?" Porter ---"No, mum ;
it don't even hesitate. -Tit-Bits.
To his mate the caterpillar sail
In tone of caution, soft and low,
As they clung to the branch just overhead,
Get onto the the girl in the hammock below.
Washington Star.
A man regards his newspaper much
as he does his wife - something to find
fault with when he feels cross and
something he never approves of--Atch-
ison Globe.
81 love to listen to the patter of tho
rain on the roof, said the miserly
poet 81 suppose you do" said his
wife. "It's a cheap amusement. -
Harper's Bazaar.
Dora-"Don't you think my gowns
fit better than they used TOP Cora
"Yes. Your dressmaker told me yes
terday she was taking lessons in geome-
try. Harlem Life,
Mr.. Oldstyle-"I don't think that a
college education amounts to much. "
Mr.. Sparerod you? Well,
you ought to foot my boys bills and
see. New York World.
No woman is such a slouch at mathe-
matics that she can't tell in half
minute how much her husband would
save in the course of year if he
shaved himself. -Atchison Globe.
One of the unexplained mysteries
of life is how difficult it is sometimes
to get into comfortable position when
you go to bed, and how unusual to
lind one that isn't comfortable when
you have to get up,-Puck.
Jinks ION the rail D--"I was talking
with an eminent physician in the
smoker" Mrs. Jinks-"What is his
name?" "He didn't mention it, aud
/ did not like to ask. "phen why do
you think he is an eminent physi-
cian?" 81 asked him what was the
best cure for consumption, and no
said he didn't know. Puck
CAbman (at library --"Sa is this
here the novel you advised me to
read?" Librarian--"Yes; that's the
one. Cabman n-"Well, you can take
it back, There's nine people in the
first four chapters who hired cabs,
and each of 'em when he got out 'hung
his purse to the driver Now when
l want that sort of literature, I'll so
20 Jules Verne aad get Il pure, Chi
caao Ranord.