The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-05

enter INTO II.
1t is generally believed that Cod
reigns in all human affairs, and this
belief is founded upon Scriptural au-
thority, which Mr.. Davies fully ac-
cepts whenever he is relieved from
the frenzy and thirst of monarchical
typhoid fever, but which he repudiates
whenever he contemplates that hu-
man affair." the annexation scheme.
In this regard he has the drastic piety
of the Chinese, who are said TO put
their gods out in the rain, and even
fog them if they do not do as they are
told.
Mr.. Davies must, reluctantly of
course, admit that the Providence of
God does enter into all human affairs,
but he appears to entertain distress
ing solicitude that it may make mis-
takes, and dabble in some discredit-
able human affairs, may even ruin its
own character and standing in Mr..
Davies "circle of society,""
He has, therefore, generously and
wisely refused to permit the Intro
ductiOn" of this Providence into our
matters. He virtually says to it:
" You keep out of this revolutionary
business"
To the sagacious woman who has
put her cold eye on him, he says;
Madam, if God is really in this an
neXation scheme, your text may APP
ply. But he is not in ii, because /
have forbidden him to enter it,"
If the restoration" should never
take place, and the Provisional Gov
ernment finally stand, he will insist,
naturally enough, that the "Provi-
dence of God" unfairly and suTrepti-
tiously slipped in, or smuggled itself
in, on some dark night, or entered
when he was absorbed in closing some
contract for cheap coolie immigration,
and Extensively mixed itself up in the
overthrow of the monarchy.
When and how Mr.. Da. les acquired
these supernatural powers we can only
conjecture. Many years ago a man,
presumably insane, clothed in ragged
trowsers and an imperfect coat, his
head covered with a veteran and dirty
hat, adorned with q single turkey
feather, often appeared on the old
Robinson's wharf, and, after sounding
through an old tin trumpet to the
sailors of the whale ships, demanded
contributions of plug tobacco. He
announced himself to be the
Angel Gabriel, and threatened with
everlasting punishment all those
who refused to respond. Whenever
he failed to get contributions, he gave
as q reason for it, that his trumpet
was not in working order" 1t
would seem that in default of natural
heirs, this erratic and tobacco
consuming angel duly appointed
Mr.. Davies to be his heir, as
the kings of Hawaii, in default of
heirs, appointed their SUCCESSORS, and
it is by virtue of this succession that
Mr.. Davies has emphatically inter-
fered with the divine government of
the world, and lavishly used his
supernatural gifts.
If restoration does not take place,
he will be in the position of the rever-
entail but loyal Scotch laird, who was
appointed to receive George ", on
his visit to Edinboro', and on seeing
His Majesty drenched with a sudden
shower exclaimed, "Your Majesty, /
am positively ashamed of the AL
mighty for letting you get wet"
1t is believed by many that Satan
is now q tourist in these islands, and
for some months has not only ac-
cepted Mr.. Davies hospitality, but
has hypnotiZed him. 1t is said that
many orders have been sent out from
"Craigside" for shot lava tOddy," and
that q Japanese servant in that abode
has reported that one of the guests often
remarked that "molten iron, if not
too cold, was a most refreshing
drink" a tailor was also asked, con-
III
furnish trousers, so as to- allow the
free use of tail. 1t is therefore,
probably true that the evil one has
instigated Mr. Davies blasphemOus
and atheistic letters, and has taken
exclusive charge OF the theological
department of his business. The eX-
istence of sulphuric q id around this
aoone will serve to disiufect those
restoration cheStnutS which are in an
advanced stage of decay.
The club thank tie member for
reading this valuable Paper.
The forester (Or cocnanut seeker of
the club, said that he had found some
manuscripts much torn and mutt
lated in the branches of q tree, in
Nuuanu avenue. With much diff
Guilty he had been able to decipher
them. They appeared to be frag-
ments of journal kept by some one
who was deeply interested in Ha-
waiian matters.
He would read them.
fFeb. Goth. While riding out early
this morning, saw DR.. He, Rev.
Mr.. B-p, and Rev. Mr.. Per,
walking slowly together, behind
Punchbowl, on the Tantalus slope.
They are the pious but misguided
leaders of the simple-minded mis-
siOnaries. Are they not deliberately
dragging the poor natives back TO
paganism by refusing to aid in the
restoration Are they not really
heathen? Sad, bitter thought.
" The heather in his blindness,
Bows down to wood and stone
My soul whispers to me that those
men are actually looking up a site for
II "heiau"-a real heatheu temple,
with enormous hideOus idols at the
corners, and a big slab on which to
offer human sacrifices. They viii use
the money of the American Board
too.
Reelection: Would it be possible
for me TO secure the contract TO sup
ply the stone work for the heiau?
Men who revert to paganism Will
spend no end OF other peoples money
| will write to them secretly, asking