The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-04-18
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

Every man makes a good husband
for while.
Never spend your money before
you have it.
- The Bible has an annual circula-
tion of ten million.
= Prior to 1926 all women's shoes
were without heels.
Every sinner reasons that if
there is happiness in the heart there
ought to be some sunshine in the
face.
= Nell-What are you reading !?
Belle-A Model Man. It's dread
fully stupid. Nell-Yes; they usu-
ally are.
1t takes lifetime of experience
to teach US that we are our best
friend; that we are our own worst
enemy we never learn.
- Some species Of birds have ex.
ceptionally long lives allotted to them.
The raven has been known to live l66
years and the swan lis.
- The word hairbreadth, now used
for an infnitesimal space, was once q
regular measure. It was the width Of
16 hairs laid side by side.
"What an easy time you men
have" she said "1 only wish | had
been born man" 'Iwish you had,
replied her husband.
He: And what would you do if
I kissed you? She with dignity:
I'd call mamma. (After a pause):
But mammals out this evening.
1t is said that the peach crop was
not killed in Southern Geosgia. In
what is known as the wire grass re-
gion, there is an abundance Of fruit on
the trees.
The sect of Jains, in India, are
the champion long-distance fasters.
Fasts of from 80 to 40 days are very
common, and once year they abstain
from food for Is days.
"A Mrs. Harris, Of Topeka, Kan,
has erected fine granite monument
over the head of her husbands grave.
It bears this simple inscription:
"Died of Delirium Tremens.
"A woman in Oakland, CAL, sued
for divorce, shot her husband during
the trial in fit of jealous rage, then
nursed him back to health, fell in love
with him again, and is now living with
him.
Now comes the Womens Chris
tian Temperance Union of New York,
and allows that the corset is as big Q
curse to women as rum is to man.
They both frequently make their VIC
tins very tight.
A new party, to be called the
"Poor Mems Party" is being organ
lied at Shelbyville, Ill. It il propos-
ed to elect no man to local office who
has possessions valued at more than
1900.
- The Pennsylvania Railroad COM
pany, on it's various locomotives that
run between Jersey City and Pitts
burg, burns over $4,000 tons day.
The cost of the coal each day is about
$40, 900.
"Do you think that women is
tickle ?" said Kiddins. Certainly
not" replied Kaddins. "You can
always depend on her. She announ-
ces that she will do as she pleases,
and keeps her word religiously.
"Don't sit on this bench with
me, George, please r. said Maud.
"Why not 2" asked George. BE
cause it is only strong enorgh for
one," said Maud. ''Then, 1 say,
Maud, can't we be made one" sug-
gested George.
A Maryland farmer mas felled
walnut tree 18 feet in circumference,
Sc feet high, and believed to be 300
years old. The lumber is supposed to
be worth $4OO, as walnut wood is now
in good demand.
Mister" said the small boy to
the grocer, "mother told me to ask
YOU if they's any such thing as q
sugar trust. " "Why, Of course there
isl "W-well, mother wants to get
trusted for two pounds.
Banks-"What did her father
say when you told him that you wanted
to marry his daughter p Rivers
"Well, he didn't absolutely refuse,
but he imposed a very serious condi-
tion." Banks-"What was itT'
Rivers."He said he would see me
hanged first"
- To ascertain roughly the length
Of the day and night at any time OF
the year double the time Of the suns
rising, which gives the length of the
night, and double the time of setting,
which gives the length Of the day.
= "No," said the young woman,
haughtily, in response to his request
| as they sat on the porch in tho
twilight. "I will not let you hold my
hand. I don't believe in such con-
duct for a young lady" "Ard, be-
SIDES she added, after pause, "it
ism t dark enough yet.
- The insurance statistics Of Eng
land show that in case Of the deaths OF
husband and wife, if the wife dies
| first, the husband survives nine years,
while if the husband is the first to
die, the widow lives for eleven years
longer.
Dentists are great users OF costly
metal. Besides gold for stoppings,
two-sevenths of the worlds consump-
tion of platinum is employed by them
in making the wires by which the
artificial teeth are firmly fastened to .
plate. 1t is the only metal possessing
the required properties.
| "Ah," remarked the man who
wasn't minding his own business to
the man digging trench in the street,
"my friend, you surely earn your liy-
| ing by the sweat Of your brow. II
don't know about that" replied the
man as he never stopped his digging,
IT git the same pay whether l sweat
or not.
An editor wrote up a farmer in
plantation style and said he was the
/ R,Sk