The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-09-17
AN OBJECT OF SYMPATHY.

socket, now Collector of Customs fol
the Port of Providence, assurances of it,
distinguished commiseration, coupled
with the sincere hope that, before tn,
autumn leaves are yellow turned and tt
the earth have fallen. Colonel O'REILIl
may be relieved OF the pathetic strait:
into which circumstances have irresis-
tably drawn him.
Colonel O'REILLy has not only long
been known as tireless yearner after
the sweet repose that comes with public
office but. also, as gen tleman of
ardently philanthropic impulses and a
disposition that finds its choicest happi-
ness IN the communion Of men in the in
stincts akin 10 his own. Accordingly,
it was no surprise TO THE NEWS that,
promptly on acquiring possession of the
Collectorship OF the Port of Providence,
Colonel OREILLY should look about him
for fellow Democrats to share the bounty
of Government with him.
How the good Colonel's heart must
have swelled with philanthropic JOY as
his eye ran down the extended payroll
accredited to his Office and his mind
dwelt on the benevolence thus made
available to him for dispensation. There
was janitor and storekeeper and sun
dry watchmen and boy to pick the
Colonel's perfecto stubs from the
floor and lady to wash down the Custom
House stairs and no end of minor posi-
tions to be cheerfully vacated by Repub-
licans and opened for filling with needy
Democrats. Colonel O'REILLY rose from
his desk and, surveying himself in the
tall mirror, saw there reflected
the Goddess of Plenty fairly staggering
under the load of an overfiowing cornu-
copia as big as the First Baptist Meeting
House spire.
So the philanthropic Colonel pro-
ceeded to make vacancies in the Custom
House.
But from that moment, as THE
NEWS Is grieved to learn, Colonel
OREILLY he's been in pitiful straits
Thus do our most worthy motives Oft
times get us into the darndest scrapes.
The condition needs no Interpretation
to an intelligent mind so soon as it is
understood that, while the benevolence
at the Colonel's command is more nu-
merous than the fingers on both hands.
the willing subjects of the Coloners
philanthropy are more many than the
sands OF the sea. There simply isn't
enough pie to go around. So, having made
his vacanciesas an evidence of good faith,
the benevolent Colonel finds himself con.
fronted by applicants for the offices.
the enumber and loudness Of which make
the hordes of Cloths and Vandals seem
no more than afternoon tea parties in
the dim distance OF history.
What will he do with them all? What |
can he do with them? Like the sands |
of the sea shore
II seven maids with seven mops
Swept II for half year.
DO you suppose, the Walrus said,
That they could keep IL clear2"
i doubt it,, said the Carpenter,
And shed bitter tear"
They will not be turned away from
Che Custom House door, this rampant
host. They are hungry, oh, so hungry
1t certainly is not their fault il there
are not Offices enough to go around.
All, Colonel oREnLy, your benevolence
coull not have foreseen this, and what
can You do with all these poor political
Your heart yearns for them
goes out to them in sympathy-but for
only the merest fraction of them may
You provide for. III Won
gaze in your mirror, now, you
viii observe that the Goddess CT Plenty
has all shrivelled mp aud her cornucopia
is as small as a half pint peanut measure
which hasn't got Captain GEORGE PET
Tis's sealing stamp on 1T.
Colonel O'REITLY. you have. during
your career, oftimes enjoyed the distinc-
ton of being the well nigh unanimous
choice OF your party for many offices
that were beyond the hope of
getting. Your friends have Justly been
many and TnE News knows not the
man who would call himself your enemy
or who, IN the smallest WV, has 40. it
IN ioryou. But that un,oward destiny,
which, like sword OF Damoclcs. hangs
over us all, seems now to have dropped
'hudiessly but with unerriug aim upon
You and, hereifter. you will only be
able TO count your party friends in the
pitiful proportion to your party enemies
as are the number Of Offices .. your dis-