The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1894-06-06

more hope of a fool than of him." 1t goe.
without saying that In utterlng these words
this, the wisesL Of all 1sraeitlsh kings, had pt
| reference whatever to me IL 30, his genlout
| had certainly gone aSLry, as Was after ward
said OF him. '---.s.
Since, in lhese latter days a mans business
| acumen is made the standard Of his advisory
| council on every other question l agree that u
| man living in as live town as Green wood
and no measure OF success, should be debar
red from state creft councils, If not from The
polls.
| Nevertheless If president Jordan OF the city
| bank placed as high valuation on my auto
graph as your people do l could soon measure
up TO your full standard Of citizenship.
What you say Of my wilt and poetry is In.
deed mortifying. Of the reputation Of both
am very Jealous. For eacn have the tender
est feelings having tostered them-as young
man would a budding mpstache-witn gen.
| tie care. have often heard Bill Nye's hunor
| ridiculed and even the poet Laureate deceas.
ed crSt'cIzed, but 1t remained for you 70 70
speak harshly of my contributions to current
literature. However, as you say they are
borrowed the owner may stand the con-
tumely.
1t is gratifying to know that no one has
been hurt by my "flings," l was fearful some
Of my Abbeville friends had been wounded.
You are emlnently correct; My Jokes
Inc first person, big Il" and little "you," SO to
speak, but how can avoid 1t They come TO
me with freshness and spontaniety and 10
prevent accumulation and taint must be
rushed off on some one. have tried them op
the second and even the third person ana
| came uncomfortably near being whipped
! each time, the last time by two beautiful
young ladies. l was afraid TO attempt them
ON the fourth. So fell back on the first per
son singular enough. By anticipating me
as BOOK agent OF any kind you 90 me an IT
retrieveable wrong and. gewhiz the book
Let the shades Of the Lord High Chamber
lain shelter me- But then arm accustomed
TO bearing other peoples burdens 10 my
more dissolute days was frequently charged
with the sins OF another where the olrcum-
NAL would only have made people Del1eVe
was a liar as well, and SO 1t Is IN this case,
when stranger Is going about the country
means Of support, the most natural inference
Is he is scattering Objectionable literature.
And the book gewhiz!
You do not even in ntimate, Of what my ex-
animation Will consist and only vaguely
what the penalty will be in the event o. a TALL
ure TO pass. Albeit am studying the politi:
cal forecast and along such other lines as l
At the same time am preparing for Danish.
ment or martyrdom or both In the discretion
OF your Sanhedrim, will probably make
my approach by the Donaldsville road, and
hope your committee will meet me at or near
the Hook"
Tell them to bring my old friend Newt Nc
Adams along TO defend the prisoner at the
bar. Ifthey tire OF waiting, have my attor-
dead line crosses 80 that l can proceed under
q flag of truce. III fail 10 stand and must pay
the forfeit, you will find the writing mate
into my grip. In the left hand side coming
out, you will find bottle OF lubrcator, q box
OF matches, few pieces OF Imitation linen
and possibly one OF flannel. All Of these and
other valuables you will please return to my
family with the grip asit will not be necessa.
ry for me To carry any thing TO start fire with
or anything fusiole, infiam mable nor combus-
tiole 70 the country to which your commit
tee will have assigned me, even winter appar-
rel will be cumbersome.
forgot to tell you that somewhere among
my effects, maybe In my hip pocket, you will
along as protection against mad dogs. You
are welcome 10 1t az a gracious gift as my
ticket from thence will doubtless be by sub
terranean route, where CANNES are unknown.
II you ever expect TO use 1t ON antis you had
better have II worked on.
1t has not been trained for shooting men
and very often snaps. In killing an anti 1t
Is very important that you at least living"
this by experience. bequeath my bicycle to
the chairman OF your committee with the
hope that 1t will throw him OF Little River
bridge.
MISSIONS IN MERCY.
pr. T; B. Baily. OF the State Mission Board,
talked Missions In the Baptist Church Sunday
for one hour and ten minutes, hot as II was.
Miss Julia Lyde of Darlington is visiting
Mrs. Forester.
DEATH.
After patient yet ntense suffering for sever.
al weeks, Mrs. Andrew Anderson died at her
home In the Brierwood section Saturday.
night. She was buried 1T Mt. Moriah, OF
which church she was a member, Sunday.
Being possessed OF those graces which charac-
erize d Christian life, she died as she had
lved, In the assurance Of bright Immortality.
There was great crowd In town Saturday.
AN INTERESTING STORY ABOUT A MULE
One day last week q stranger approached
Mr.. r. z. Buchanan for q mule s1 ap, asking
difference Of five dollars in cash. Mr.. B.
considered II good trade, and paid him the
cash. The stranger rode on 10 town, put the
mule he had traded for in the livery stable
with instructions 70 feed 1t until he returned
from Abbevllle whittier he was going by rail.
He has not yet returned, and 1t develops that
the mule he traded belongs 10 Mr.. Gilmore
Of Laurens, from whom 1t was borrowed, and
who came the next day and claimed It.. The
stranger gave Elmore as his name and from
Texas. He had been at work for few weeks
only for the Laurens EImore, Mr.. Buchanan
was glad enough 70 learn that his own mule
was left here, but Is out five dollars.
w. w. Thompson OF the Advocate attend
ed the Industrial Congress as q delegate at
large, appointed by Governor Tilman.
Senators w. D. Evans and Miller were In
fnr far fouy hnn ucf