davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
LIVING WITH A BROKEN NECK,
Little Isaac Goerstein's Spinal Col
umn is Broken, But He May Re-
cover
From the New York MINES.

From the New York Times.
Perhaps the most interesting patient
that has ever been treated in the Gouver-
neur hospital, from surgical point of
view, is little Isaac Goerstein, who is ly-
ing, encased in plaster jacket, in the
childrens ward there, with a dislocated
neck. The fact that the child is alive is
in itself remarkable, but. what is still
more remarkable, House Surgeon Jamal
SAYS, is that he will probably recover. b..
Isaac is 8 years old, and is the son of
Israel Goerstein, who keeps a liquor
saloon at Allen and Division streets, and
lives at 4 Allen street. He is studious
little fellow, and stands at the head of
his class in school. On Wednesday after
noon, while returning home from school,
he was knocked down by truck. He
was taken to Gouverneur hospital, where
| it was at first supposed that the lad was
suffering from cere bral hemorrhage.
Dr. Jamal and his assistants made a
| careful examination Of the boy, and dis
covered fracture of the spinal column
! between the fifth and sixth cervical YER
| tebrae. The spinal cord was not injured.
! The lobe Of the right ear was split, and
! there were also indications of a slight
| fracture Of the base of the skull. The
! lad has retained consciousness through
out, but was unable to articulate. He was
! at once placed in a plaster jacket, which
makes it impossible for him to move his
| head or the upper part of his body, but he
| can move his hands and feet. His res
piration is labored and uneven. The only
| food given him consists of beef tea and
matted milk, which he takes with APP
parent relish. The doctors al the hos
| pital are watching the case with great
interest, and they hope for successful
| outcome.
DR. Jamal said last night that he con-
! sidered the case the most remarkable
| that has ever come under his observa tion.
There are few cases on record of patients
with broken necks living, even for a short
time, Death in such cases is usually in
Simultaneous, particularly so with child
rem. The Lad has gradually improved
under treatment, and if he gets well it
will certainly be miraculous recovery.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16


G D. Genera Passen Agent Jacks
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
GOTH MERIDIAN TIMED

Won want stationery and blank books. We
4 have the facilities for supplying them,
nah. Ca. Lithographers. book and lob priat.
ers and blank book manufacturers.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
FACIAL SOAP.
WOODBURY'S FACIAL SOAP

For the skin, Scalp and Complexion.
The result of 20 years ex perience treating
the Skin. A book on DermatOogy with each
cake. All druggists. And WoOdbury's An
tiseptic Shaving Sticks also Bars, Hair tonic
and clean Skin treatment
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
Almost an Epidemic of Hicooughs.
From the Washington Post.

West Chester, Pa, Jan. u.-Yesterday
James Kelly, Jr,, of West Grove, hic-
coughed himself to death. This is the
fourth death of this kind in this vicinity
within a short space of time.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16

Steamer"St. Augustine" is
appointed TO leave Titusville
daily. except Sunday. 7 a.
m; due Rockledge IL a. m;
Melbourne Up. m.
Steamer "St. Lucie" is ap
pointed to leave Titusvllle on
arrival Of train No. 23-S:40
p. m.-Mondays, Wednesdays
and Fridays; due Jupiter
1880 a. m. following day.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
Phillips, pigestibls Cocoa

Presents a new and valuable food beverage
1t is delicious to the taste, highly nutritious
and rendered readily diFestiole 1t will not
cause distress or headache, like the ordinary
cocoas.-ad.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16

Mother-Why don't you try to do right in
stead Of doing wrongg
Johnnie-'Cause 1 can do wrong without
trying. -DetrOit Free Press.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
RAILROADS.

THE FLORIDA SOUTHERN RAILROAD CO,
INDIAN RIVER STEAMBOAT COMPANY,
AND LAKE WORTH RAILWAY,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
AIBANY DIVISION.

Con nections at Savannah, Albany, Amert-
Gus and Montgomery with the various diverg-
ing lines and at Abbeville with the Abbeville
and W aycross railroad.
Pass engers win be allowed to ride on all
freight trains of s.. A. s. NJ. railway.
CECIL GABBETT, G. b. WILBURN,
Gen. Manager. Gen. Passenger Agent
Americas, Ga.
]. NJ. CAROLYN, Agent, Savannah, Ga.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16

Florida grows over fifty varieties OF the
orange.
The Lake City board Of trade is working
70 secure manufacturing enterprises.
Joseph j. Mathew. OF Brooklyn, ". Y, died
Just as he reached Jacksonville Sunday night.
Both phosphate companies at Orlando are
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16

Steamer "St.Augustlnsri,
appointed to leave Melbou,ns
daily, except Sunday, 2,i6S
m; Rockledge 8 p. m; az
Titusville $3.50 p. m.
Steamer st. Lucie"
pointed to leave Jupiter III
pm. Tuesdays ,ThursdaysanS
Saturdays: due TitusvIiis
1880 a. n. following day, con,
Meeting with train No. Ga n,
Jacksonville.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-16
GEORGIA And FLORIDA.
The News Of the Two States Told in
Paragraphs.

Arcadia's Tame Wolf Filled Full OF
Lead-Injunction Cases Disposed OF
at Thomasville-A Nursery Agents
satchel Relieved of $4,000 Boy Of
IIYears in Jail at Rome for Volun-
tary Manslaughter.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1894-06-06

given by Assistant Stake Supsrlnlsni.
| ent Nuyus, with recitation by Sister
/ Wubock. Vocal music Instruction In
/ the sunday School was treated upon
| BY Elders rollcstfup and Grlggs
The two sessions on Sunday morning
nnd afternoon were attended by large
audiences, representative ffJm nearly
every one of the 10 schools VI the Stake
being present 5pirtet ami iustfuc.
tive remarks were made by Assistant
Stake Superintendent Nelson, ElIers
j. %. MsiUen, L. g.. Grifrs, j. VI.
Tanner. superintendent christensen.
J.. W. Slmmpruays, President e.. Pct.
erson aud Elder n. Beale. Tho az.
intimidation of tue 5.cfamB it, pro.
sentailon 0f B. 8. authorizes, repurts
and notices OF jubiluus, violin duet,
congregational singing, etc, varied tho
femnfks OF tho brethren. lhe veteran
S. IS. worker, Elder JDhl -.
Maibeu, iieuuflel with the pioneer
W rk and organization OF iu0 DCsufet
sunday school Union, gave apprucia.
tive c0untcnauCu 90 Che prIceu4Iugi OF
tue cIuIpfsucp. Elder J. ID. ~ Iu-
Aliister, president OF the Mnuu itm-
pie, with members % The HlGh C0uu.
eli, b shJpa AMI leading men 10 tur
Priesthood wrf0 iu Attendance, gud
tuoir supporting pfrseuco aud mia.
once aided much in the proceedings %
the nfst annual sunday schUJl OF SAM
pe.e stake. The genial outpOuring %
ibu dUly Spirit WAS generally enjoyed.
rht musical exercises Of the EphHlm
choir were OF d most acceptable UrIuy
Eud chat quite large buIy OF siusrfs
contains "a number Of very superior
yUlC.-.
fnis conference emphasized the fact !
that Stake 5uputlutuid George /
Jhtistrnsuu auI his Assistants are not |
only energetic aud intelligent Sunday /
school workers thumsClvo bat are cup. /
ulrCi bya large b0Iy OF officers nud I
,gucuufa who spare themselves no labor /
Joe carrying our their sugguuiI0ns ln
% make thrir schools
a.ncgs of most PROF abio aud holy la.
'twriiUn 90 the youth NJ that Sake.
Elder Jauuto Peterson with HE
b cial, honest, cheerful disposition, born
)i hi Nureinan OfiNiu, IL p man who
IiOists aud BE- bIotsct; who loves AMI H.
loved; who RESPECTS aud u respected,
AMI therefore ia HE position Ne presto.
Ing Nicer Of tho STAKE IL % power Ia
NE sunday school forest.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1894-06-06
Sanpete Stake Sunday School
Conference.

The Sunday school conference Ut N,
sanpslo Stake was held ia Ephraim on
Saturday and SUNDAY, June End and
Sfd, aud was attended by Elders r. e..
urggs aud J, W. Summofhays OF the
Deserel sunday School Union board,
who lvh this city on Friday afternoon,
arriving ut their destination ut 1850
pm, aud we're soon made at bono by
the president Of tho Stake, Elder
Canute Peterson, and "GRudmaU
Peterson, bic unliring helpmeel. Elder
futetslu claims that EphTalm cult.
Yates the laagest AMOUNT Of land, for
It's supply Of water OF any settlement
H. Utah.
Toe epeuing meeting Of conference
on Saturday az 10 H.m.Couyeued Ia the
glcauIy kvpi anu neatly furnished
Tabernacle, and was most txcelIontly
attended. stake superintendent Geo.
Chhslcnsen very gracefully made tho
introductory remarks, anu some
twelve supUTlnttudrnts made inttrgsi-
INK reports OF certain features OF their
schools.
Ia tho afternoon class each from
Spring cry Mauu North AMI
Mnuu S-uth wards, huI Eph.
rain, under their respective teachers
gave examples Of their class iusltuu,
lions and training, Bud 90 touching
were some OF the answers that ttafs
came ~ mauy eyes The UKufrises OF
The DAY were interpreted by brief ne.
marks aud questions by various
brethren.
An evening session was held aud o.
lecture on the b. B. teaghurt' work waa
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1894-06-06
]. P. GARDNER, AL Main ST.
ChaSD ". Stayn0r,
LAWYER.
Observation-Disclosures Building.
First South street. Salt Lake city
ESTATES.

Heirs and Others having an estate TO
settle should consult Chas. w. Stayner
Tie has had an experience Of over
twenty-five years as attorney Tor estates.
wills drafted and estates settled. Office
Observation-Disclosures Building, Salt Lake
City.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1894-06-06
LAND CASES.

Persons having land contracts. or
whose patents are delayed, should con.
suit Chas w. Stayner He has lust
returned from Washington, where he
mas been conducting successful
practice In the General Land Office.
Congressional work attended to. Office
Observation-Disclosures Building, Salt Lake
City
Correspondence solicited. Send
stamped envelope Tor reply
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1894-06-06

"c. {. Hood CO.. tuvau N8ssf
"uuHtemcU Wishing tuiHuvhat Hoods s,r.
npuuIla has dome ior ut, 1 fIl Say That ,r,r,
ago ve hada beautiful bog born tous. When
about slH months u'i t0 took % sore moHiB.
ErNihIuE that wls known as usual rgmsIIs,
in such cases was used ihid Two doctors iut
au i1u1 benefit 40 tHr aee of ~ months hs
bfgltlgl hIs hst Thus ve laid
our Darling Child
Do Che grave. ON Aug Z. 100. another hoy va,
born unto us. Atuoasr of two month, bs be-.
e'ino AFFLICTED with mo same disease. believed
mo boys trouble was constitutional and NOT
common sore mouth l procured o. bottle NJ
Ho'l' oarsapanih and commenced 90 gIys il
regularly 10 Doth mother and baby. uui o5ea.
NunA washed DIS mouth with % syrp of bl.t
.iu'A root Improvement hUeau nt once. No
nave succeed ln ruigltHg uIH seruHIDls blood
hnm Ono system aud to-day ur are blessed eIib
u.e' 600 baby h.U eighteen routls o.L lIo
ls uIu very
Picture Of Health,
W' N'a anl m'l Uf mischief THANKS i1 Irrrfrs
rIr1nuIh, iama minister iuua af.fIlf..t
II'."Hui church lumHrir tu back ab4t
|' HHl am Boo poo way Interested boo any mont
IH Oh" mliIrr utUrIH BE- Affords mr much pi....|
N'' Co recommend Hoods slrlurIA tuaIas|
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
Defective Astrology.

A brown-eyed, blond young wCm-
an had charmed with her large for
tune young man of the we'll
known impoverished swell type.
He found it difficult to win her, for
which purpose he had been exerting
all his powers. At last happy
thought struck him.
I'll have never told you" he said
to her one evening, "that long be-
fore saw you fate had directed me
to you"
indeed" she responded, so sim
cerely that his heart beat faster,
and her face blushed at the com.
pliment.
"Yes, and it came about in re-
markable way. Just for fun one
day | consulted an astrologer, and
she told me that l would never
care for any woman until l had
met one who was then only
schoolgirl, a beautiful, golden-haired
creature, with wonderful brown
eyes. l laughed at the prophecy,
but | found that the words of the
seer were true, for l never cared for
any woman until | saw you"
Then he stopped, em barressed
and palpitating, thinking she would
fall in his arms.
Are you sure your astrological
friend spoke of golden-haired
schoolgirl" she asked.
"How could l ever forgetP" he re-
sponded.
"You couldn't possibly" she twit-
tered; "only when l was a school,
girl ! wasn't golden-haired. I've
been using blondine for the last
year, don't you knowp"
And then heavy weight seemed
to fall on him as he staggered away.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
What one Hen can Do.

A hen can't plow corn, hoe cotton
or split wood, but she can get there
just the same. She doesn't cost
more than a drink of whiskey and
a plug of tobacco, but she can pay
s per cent interest on $25 in a year
and pay her board besides. The
fellow who thinks a hen can't make
money doesn't know much about a
hen, says a well known southern
authority in the Texas Farm and
Ranch. He says: Take an old
speckled hen, for instance, that has
had no raising at all, one that's been
thrown out of the corncrib, knocked
off the porch with broom and
chased out Of the garden by a worth
less pup. Just take that sort Of an
old fashioned hen, and let's see.
She lays at least 20 eggs on q
stretch and then goes to sitting on
1S of her eggs. The other dozen
pay her keep while she turns eggs
into chickens and while eshe is scratch.
ing for them after they are Matched
and before being weaned. That
sort of hen generally matches II
out of the 13 eggs and raises eigbt
of them that sell for So. But We
must knock off 81 for their raising
and put only 81 aside to the credit
of old Speck, who loafs about awhile
and then she lays another two doz
en- eggs and sits again and raise.
another lot of eight chickens, tha
sell for SO more, and so we pa,
off again and put another dollar t.
the credit of our old hen.
Well, then it's long toward mid
summer, and she loafs awhile, ant
then she takes another laying spell
and lays another 25 eggs, and thel
sits again, and brings on a fal
brood that sell as before, and WI
credit her with another dollar, tn
half of the produce of another hatcl
of eight chickens, which makes S;
to her credit over and above all ex
penses. $500
Then she lays little more ant
sheds her feathers and knocks abou
and scratches for a living until to
ward the holidays, when she take'
another spell of laying and lays
good lot of eggs by Christmas ant
quits, but doesn't sit because it il
too cold. But along about Febru
airy she sets in again and lays righ
sharply for "a month or more unit
she is around to the time where sh'
started in last year, and in footing
up we find she has paid all expense
and SO besides in 12 months,
pretty good showing for 20 cen
| hon
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

embraced each other silently;
neither of them, you understand
said a word. Then door opened
at the back and a traveller entered.
He wore an overcoat and carried an
umbrella. You could tell at once
by his manner, and without looking
at the programe, that he was the
husband of the young woman, at
least that would be the inference of
every intelligent playgoer present.
The husband took off his coat. laid
aside his umbrella, and drew from
his breast pocket heavy Colts re-
volver. In the midst of a silent
EN- brace Of the hero and heroine he
fired. The young woman fell dead.
He fired again and the young man
was similarly disposed of. Then
the traveller came forward, put on
pair of eyeglasses, and contem-
plated his sanguinary work. Great
heavensn he exclaimed, Il am on the
wrong foor!"
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
What He Wanted.

"What / want is q bright, short
play" said Toole to the amateur
who had brought him a six-act
drama with lucid intervals.
"How do you mean short,
bright drama?" said the author.
"Well, something with what the
Americans call snap-a thing with
point to it. don't care whether
it is farce, comedy or drama, if it
has effective situations and good
telling climaxes."
"Can you give me some idea of
the sort Of thing you mean?" said
the building author.
"Oh, yes," said Toole. Il re-
member one of the. shortest, and
certainly the best play of its kind
imaginable; it was so direct, you
know, and yet left 50 much to the i'm
agination. Itwasi in one act. When
the curtain went up two per-
sons were discovered on sofa; one
was a pretty young woman, the
other nice young fellow; they
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
Haunted!

A haunted house In these practical and unroman.
tic days is something Of rarity, but individual
haunted with the idea that his aiiment Is incurabs
is parsonage frequently met with. Disbelief 10
the abilityof medicine 10 cure s only mild form
Of monomania. although in some cases repeated
failures TO obtain relief from many different
sources would almost seem TO Justify the doubt
Hostettsf's stomache Bitters has demonstrated its
ability TO overcome dyspepsia, constipation, liver
and kidney trouble, malarial complaints and nerv.
business, and It's recorded achievements in the cura
tive line ought at least To warrsLt it, trial by any
one troubled with either Of the above ailments
even although his previous efforts TO obtain rem
edial aid have been fruitless. Vsed with persist
ence. the Bitters will conquer tho most obstinate
cases.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

working order, and on the fish first
coming to the top and again admit
ing light Bill at once saw what was
IN the wind, and they commenced
business at once, when they were
startled by change in the shark S
movements, and soon they distinct
ly heard the sound of human voices,
and they knew they were saved.
Well, we all was so thankful at
their miraculous escape from the
jaws OF death that every mother
son of us on board took our solemn
affidavits that we'd never tell q lie
or anything of that kind again, and
me and my mate have kept oul
word ever since.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Hall-How did you get rid OF
that railroad stockp / didn't think
anyone would touch it, considering
the condition of the road. Ball
Well, | found party who wasn't
posted. Hall-Who was hep
Ball--One of the directors.-Brook-
lyn Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
For Over Fifty Years.

Mrs. winslow's Soothing syrup has been used
for over nfty years By mlious Of mothers for their
children while teeshinR. with perfect success. IL
soothes the chiid softcns the gums alays all pain.
cures wind collie. and Ia the best remedy for Diar-
rhma, IL will relieve the peor little sufferer i'm
mediately. Sold BY Druggists In every part Of the
world. Twenty-Five cents bottle. Be sure and
ask for mrs winslow's Soothing Syrup" and
take no ether kind.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

His mother (after the sudden
change)-Jamie, dear, 60 and bring
in some kindling. Well have to
make a fire. Jamie (grumbline
complying)-You had me huntin
the ice wagon all day Yesterday
Seems to me you're awful hard tc
suit.-Chicago Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Teacher-James, you are late
this morning. Have you any ex-
cuse? Pupil-Y es'm. Maw's gone
down town 'lectioneerin' an the
hired girls on a strike and paw
burnt his fingers cookin' the pan
cakes an / had to sew on my spend
er buttons myself. Seep-Chicago
Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Mrs. Parvenoo-And what does
your husband dop Mrs. Heavy
plate-He chaises silver. Mrs. Par
venoo-So does mine, but he never
seems to be able to catch it.-Syra-
cuse Post.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Judge-Now, prisoner, will read
the list of your previous convictions.
Prisoner-ln that case, your hon
or. YOU will excuse me if | sit down
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

1--WE should be thankful for small
mercies," said the clearinghouse
mistress. 1--WE have to be" replied
the star boarder, as he gazed at the
diminutive turkey.-Truth.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

A Texas clergyman, about to be
appointed chaplain Of the epenitentia-
nv, preached farewell sermon to
bis congregation that had treated
him rather badly. He selected the
following text: 81 60 to prepare
place for you, so that where ! am
We may be also" o."--Texas Siftings.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
The Frenchman asked an English

spar-maker what he was making.
"A yard" was the reply.
"How much have you got donep"
was the next question.
"A yard"
"Where did the spar come FROM ?"
"The yard"
And the Frenchman was very
much surprised at the lucidity Of
the answers, and amazed at the
simplicity of our language.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Maude-How could you marry a
man that you do not knowP Edith
i certainly would not marry any
man | do know.--Boston Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Miss Budd-Do you believe in
long courtships, Mr.. Benedick?
Mr.. B.-I don't believe in more
than six or eight hours at session.
Smith, Gray & Co.'S Monthly.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Dashaway You say your sister
will be down in a minute, Willie.
That's good news. | thought, per-
haps, that she wanted to be excused,
as she did the other day. Willie
Not this time. / played trick on
her. Dashaway-What did you dop
Willie (triumphantly)--I said you
were another fellow.--London Won
der.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Binaway-And . young Blower,
the fellow who was always boasting
that he would yet do something to
arouse the country-whatever be-
came Of him?
Observation-Disclosures alarm
clocks the last we heard.-Buffalo
Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Patient--Is the doctor at home? ?
Maid-No; he has gone to the foot
ball game. For pleasure or pro-
Observation-Disclosures Statesman.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Mistress Did anyone call while
| was out? New girl-Yes, mum /;
Mrs. Wayupp called. Did she seem
disappointed when you said | was
not at homep Well, she did look a
little queer, but | told her she need
mt get mad about it, cause it was
really true this time.-New York
Weekly.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

"There, my love-" said the young
husband as he placed large bundle
on the table, 1--WE bought you a
pair of sleeves" "Oh, you darling
exclaimed the delighted wife, I'm
so happy! Anything will do for a
dress. New York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Friend-If your washerwoman
charges by the piece, it must be
rather expensive. Young house
keeper-Oh, no. She loses so many
things that her bills are never high
New Y ork Weekly.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28
HUMOROUS.

"Who was the inventor OF the
modern cigarettep" "The fool kill
er."-New York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

"Mr. Jinks," said the principal
on the twenty-ninth day of the
month, to one Of his clerks, ''my
memory is so treacherous | forget
everything. Just remind me on
the thirty-frst to give you notice tc
leave"
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Little Brother-What are these
summer schools that folks talk
about?
Little Sister-Oh, they are places
where school teachers 60 every va
cation to study up so we won't get
ahead of zem."
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-11-28

Country Customer-How many
yards of this goods does it take to
make a dress? Seller-With or
without? Country customer-With
or without. What do you mean? ?
Seller-Puffed sleeves.--Philadel-
phia Record.