People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1894-01-19
WELLINGTON Liz ,nI

Au. MlkEk.
WELLINGTON. 1-l6, "a.
DEAR ME AND ELI:
The enclosed letter explains itself.
Can't you send us an article now and
then ito relieve the monotony?"
EDITOR VOICE.
EDITOR VOICE:
Dang your mOnOtOny. See some
other horse doctor. Me and EHr
don't know anything about the dis.
ease, Maybe you hain't got it at all.
People often think they have things
when they haint. Take the Monitor.
Press for instance. 1t thought it had
the county printing but it didn't. 1t
.only'had an irrcdescent dream and a
very poor one at that. Next time il
Will probably fuse with its own party
for what it considers an entirely fair
equivalent. 1t has also probably
learned that in order to get in on the
ground floor it should stand in with
the stewart of the building and other
bosses. But Of course your disease
may be different and if careful dag
nosls proves TINT you have got the
monotony you need a stimulant and
need it bad. Follow the directions
and see that the letters are blown in
each bottle; avoid salt meats and
everything like work, and keep out Of
inOcuOus deSuetude. This means the.
more you fuse the better the other
fellow is of. The fuse is wherein the
danger lies. Shun the fuse. Also the
monOtony. Likewise the desutude.
Me and Eli" wouldn't mind writin'
for your paper If it wasn't for your
dinged politics. Writin' is our busi-
ness. We know how it is did. But IL
appears to us that wrltin' funny busi-
ress for a calamity paper would be
like widder woman In mourning
wearing a white vail with pea.green
goggles, Ycu no business getting up
these funeral professions nohDw. The
country is safe and the government
at Washington still lives. There is
as much money In the country as ever
; and a great deal more distress. You
fellows want the government to loan
, you money at a low rate of interest
and then kick because it lets the
bankers have all they want for moth
Ing. Didn't the bankers make this
country what it is? What do the far.
mers know about feenancies? You
wouldn't know a counterfeit ten dol.
lar gold piece if you were to find it in
a chickens craw. II you did it would
: be just like you to run and tell il.
; Then you would probably put it on
exhibition and charge everybody ten
cents apiece to look at it. To be sure
1t would be quite curiosity, but it
: would bea monopoly and that's Just
what you fellers are after.
This we claim is clear refution OF
all your fiat money heresies. II you
don't see the point we don't wonder
that you can't be convinced by the
mastery arguments Of the z. O. d.
papers. And under all these exhiler-
ating circumstances you want Me and
Eli to write something funny to re-
lieve your monOtonyl We can't do 1t,
: but suggest that you copy the Monitor
Press "BoOdling and Treachery" arti-
. Gle. II that don't split the sides OF
your readers it will the 60. party and
! that will be about as funny. The fact
Is the Mp. was away of In charging
Doodle and treachery. That's why its
! so funny. Ne and Eli are reliably in
h formed that the deal was brought
about In this way; Farout, Lingen-
a felter and Kain are great checker
: players. Which they had a small
game and All Kain took.a hand. He
$ agreed to play five straight games
: with Farout; II the commissioner got
one game he was to vote for the VOICE,
II he got two for the Monitor, il none
y for the Standard. Mr.. Farout kept
Y his word and you can figure how the
q game came out. When Campbell
learns these facts he will probably
raise Kahn, and we advise him right
9 now that he had better raise more
. cain and less HI. Fareut has two
q more whacks at that same blue bottle.
Q But we digress. All humorists do.
!. II your monotOny is not relieved get
q your bottle re0llrd with the same pre-
/ scription and repeat as often as ysu
,. think your case demands it. Then IL
,. you die Of monotony it will not be the
|. fault OF Me AND ELL
!, Farm Loans Wanted.
J.N. McDavitt. over CRAFTS hardwr store.