Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1893-1895, 1894-07-18
| SMELL SMOKE.

However, as Mrs. Snoodle is a remark.
ably sound sleeper Mr.. Snoodle frequent
ly manages to enjoy few stolen whiffs.
One night when in bed Mr. Snoodle
had an irresistible desire for pipe,
which he in vain endeavored to combat.
His wife was fast asleep, so he cautious
ly stretched out his hand for his pipe.
which lay on little table by the bed.
side Then with equal caution he filleG
it, lighted up and was putting away
with intense relish when Mrs. Snoodlt
turned over and gave two or three
snorts.
II believe she's going to wake up, >
thought Mr., Snoodle and hastily took
his pipe from his mouth and placed il
on the table.
Mrs Snoodle gave few more snorts
and woke up. Then she gave a series
shifts, and Mr.. Snoodle trembled, fol
the room was pregnant with tobacco
smoke.
"John, are you smoking?" asked his
wife sternly.
Certainly not, my dear Whateve
makes you think sop he innocently III
Quired.
Because 1 can smell tobacco, she
replied "Phew, how strong it is! Don't
you smell it, Johnr'
Cant say l do, Martha I've got Il
bit of cold"
"Open your eyes, man, and then you
will, )" snapped Mrs. Snoodle.
81 don't smell with my eyes, gig,
gled Mr.. Snoodle.
"What l mean is wake up properly
and sniff hard. Now, can't you smell
it?''
"Well-er-I think there is faint
odor of tobacco" admitted the culprit.
''Think-faint odor! Why, the place
reeks with it! 1 tell you what it is,
John, there's somebody smoking in the
house." declared his wife.
"Doyou think Jane indulges in pipe
on the sly?" suggested Mr. Snoodle.
"Nonsenser'
'Well, my dear, the only other living
thing in the house is the cat, and
never heard of cats smoking"
"Don t talk rubbish, John. It's a seri-
ous matter. It's my firm belief there's
burglar smoking in the house" And
Mrs. SnOOdle Sh1Vered.
"Ah, very likely" replied Mr.. Snoo-
die, thankful for his lucky escape and
preparing to go to sleep again.
"John, are you going to sleep and let
the house be ransacked?" asked his wife
Indignantly.
Certainly not, my dear.
"Then why don't you go down stairs
and catch the burglar?"
Mr.. Snoodle very reluctantly got out
of the warm bed into the cold air, sleep
lily lighted candle and moved toward
the door.
AREN'T you going to take some
weapon of defense?" asked his wife
'Do you want to be killed? never saw
such mani"
Mr.. Snoodle rather sull1ily seized the
poker and muttered that "if he found
burglar he'd make it smoking hot for
him."
He had got half way down stairs and
was thinking Of anything but burglars
when he suddenly saw a man dart out
of the dining room and bolt down the
kitchen stairs. Mr.. Snoodles first i'm
pulse was instant fight, for he was an
arrant coward, but he was so astounded
and petrified with fear that he was ut
terly unable to either move or speak.
He simply stood still, holding the capdle
nearly upside down, with his mouth
wide open. Then he heard the back door
bang and knew that the burglar was
gone, so thought it was about time for
action and to earn little cheap glory.
So he roared out: "You villains I'll
murder you'll I'll scalp you as clean as
whistle!" and rushed down stairs. He
had never before felt so heroic in his
life. He bounded into the dining room
and fought fiercely with the furniture,
especially the fender. as he could bang
into that without injuring it much un-
I'll he was quite exhausted.
John, John, come up stairsl"
screamed Mrs. Snoodle. You'll be
killedp'
It's all right, Marthap' shouted
back Mr.. Snoodle.
Have you got the rascals safely
bound then?"
No, they've got away. But I've
nearly killed emp
-. 'i,A heaven! Come up stairs and
iet me dress your wounds, dear, " said
Mrs; snoodle solicitously.
MI Snoodle' after securing the back
door, which the servant had omitted 70
lock' ana undoing the bundle of plate
that the burglar had left behind in his
hurry to escape, went up stairs
"Oh, John, " exclaimed Mrs Snooa,o
on beholding him, then Won ] re not
dead?'' ''u 10 hoe
mo, dear he said. monD;,. -
brow: But II was terrible fight. F."
Il N sure 1t was. never heard sueb
an awful row. Did they take anvthin'.a, nVn
"Only their hook." grinned NJ.
sSnoOdle. II was just in time 10 nra,.s.l. 1n
'em carrying OF the best part en- ~ er'
plate II was all tied ND rsadv rSa. ~.