The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-06-27
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

Now there arc 81.
Sunday School teacher What
kind of boys go to heaven? Small
Boy: Dead ones.
= Bookson-"TIavc you read y
Costly Freak Poorlcy-"No; I've
done it E: got married. .
= If a snail's head be cut off and
the animal placed in a cool, moist spot
Il new head will be grown.
- \ young man Of Paterson, y. j.,
recently sncezed so hard that he jerk
ed, it is said, his shoulder out of joint.
In 1S45 Scotch farmer sued the
customs authorities for penny and
won his case. The costs amounted to
800.
Ten thousand tons of salmon,
O.OO0, 900 cans, were put ur this sea-
son in the canncrics on the Frazer
River, B. c.
Mr.. Joncs-"M1rs. Brown keeps
her temper beautifully, doesn't she p
Mr.. Brown-"Ycs; | never saw her
without it.
Josh Billings says: "Whcn a
fellow gifts a-goin down hill, it duz
seem as tho everything had been
creased for the okashun.
- She Am | the first woman you
ever loved ? He: Yes. Am I the
first man who ever loved you She
tcmpestuously) You are insulting
- She Really, now, aren't you
married man He: No. Why +? She:
Oh, you have such settled look.
He: Yes; I've been refused by l3
girls.
= If women would extend onc-half
the charity to each other that they
accord to men, such thing as wick
ed woman would be as rare as a truly
good man.
= Christianity in it's broadcast sense
is the greatest necessity Of the age.
1t would solve all the knotty prob
lens of state and bring the millennium
of peace and good will among men.
"A lazy boy makes a lazy man,
just as a crooked sapling makes a
crooked tree. Those who make our
great and useful men were trained in
their boyhood to be Industrious.
- The greatest desert is the Sahara.
1t is 5000 miles from cast to west,
200 from north to south, and has
about 5000, ,00G square miles, or about
the area of the United States.
- There are no undcrtakcrs in
Japan. When person dies it is the
custom for his nearest relatives to put
him in coffin and bury him, and the
mourning does not begin until after
burial.
- The first Sapbath School was in
stitutcd in 1887. There are now in
the United States 10S,939 Sabbath
Schools, with 8,649, 900 scholars. The
world has 90, ,07S, ,595 Sabbath School
scholars.
- There is wild flower in Turkey
that is the exact floral image Of a
humming bird, the breast is green,
the wings are deep rose color, the
throat yellow, the head and beak
almost black.
A terrible windstorm at Glen
wood, Mimi, last week is reported tol
have blown many hundreds of fish,
from the lake into the basins along
the shore, where they became easy
prey for sportsmen.
Wife: What singular man you
are, to be sure. Whenever We have
company l have to do all the talking.
You have absolutely nothing to say.
Husband You are mistaken, my
dear. l have plenty to say, but l
never get chance to say it.
"Josiar," said Mrs. Corntosscl,
'this industrial army business gets
me. "It do me, too, - "Ef er fellow
is goin ter walk jis fur the sake Of
walkin an gcttin nowhcrcs, he might
jcs' as well do it behind cr plough ez
any other way
- Mother (entcring parlor suddenly
as the lovers turn up the light:
Ethel, you were sitting entirely too
close to Mr.. Gctthcre when l entered.
Ethel: Mother, you know we'll enough
how afraid | am in the dark Puck.
First Foreigner-"What do you
think of the proposition of the Amcri-
cans to use their flag design for a
stamp ?" Second Ditto-'T'm in
favor of it. It's the only plan by
which we will ever be able to lick the
Stars and Stripes.
- The thirty-third annual parade
of the Sabbath School children of
Brooklyn, n. Y, took place last
Thursday. At least $4,000 children
marched in the procession, while 10O,-
900 spectators gazcd upon them with
administration.
A kentucky mathematician has
figured out some statistics on gum
chewing. lie says that the jaws OF a
small-mouthcd young woman who is
addicted to this habit move $3.50, 600
inches or 103 miles a year, at the rate
of thirty chcws minute for ten hours
day.
= "Mamma," said Willie after he
had come from school, II saw poor
little boy on my way home who never
heard of ice cream. - THAT was too
bad" said Willics mother. "What
did you say to him % Il said" re-
piled Willie, earnestly, "that | had
almost forgotten it myself. .
i Plants often exhibit something
very much like intelligence. If
buc kct of water during dry season be
placed few inches from growing
pumpkin or melon vine the latter will
turn from its course and in day or
two will get one of its leaves in the
| water.
- 81 believe John will propose to-
night, ma. If he does, what shall |
say p Accept him, of course" "
''YcS. but what shall say first 2
GLOW long have You been expecting
this proposal q 1.-TWO years. 'Well,
don't know what you can say cx-
cept This is so sudden y
"Is she pretty q asked one
Young girl of another. "No, not at
all pretty" was the reply but she
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