The Washington times., 1894-07-01

Ma1ne where he said lie wasn't going to do
anything but say his prayers, and he WASH {
| going to say any more Of those than he had
to. Now, IL priest won't pray all the time
from nature or habit what can do? The
I deuce--of course. But despise it, and-er-
say, Miss Becky, wouldn't have my wife
know for the world.'
Neither would l. for that matter. don't
like the woman, and I'm not going to con-
| tribute to the fund of information every we'll
regulated married woman nowadays collects,
realizing tina: In the midst of life we are in the
| divorce court.
| It's nice for the Senator, and I'm so glad
that when once this miserable tariff bill is
disposed of and Congress adjourns he can
| just draw on the contingent fund for congress
sional outings and go with his committee to
spend month at Lake AIinnetonka, Minne-
| sofa.
-.
You know, or perhaps don't know, that a
rumor has reached Congress that certain St.
Paul man is responsible for one OF the profit
able bank failures of that city in which q
| great many POOR people were the victims. 1t
is further known to Congress that this man
| has Indian blood in his veins. Indeed, it Is q
fact often rehearsed in the best society, in the
| first circle OF which he moves. that when his
| grandmother used to come down from Mani
toba to visit him she would not sleep In n bed
| but in her tepee, which she invariably brought
| along and pitched in his cellar. Furthermore
his hair and cheek bones attest his Indian
blood. and he will therefore be investigated at
Lake Minnetonka by Senator McWard, who,
you know, is one of the committee on Indian
! depredations.
| The Senator will draw. in addition to ex-
penses. $40 day. and Mrs. McWard, who
will accompany him as his clerk. will earn
sc "a day. They are not just clear as to how
| they will work the children in-that is. the
| small 10 Or<h hiu
tion from Yale, is comfortably fixed for his
Summer. The Department of Justice has ap-
| pointed him special attorney, $40 per day and
| expenses, to take testimony from seals or
something somewhere in Alaska. so that IL
the Bering sea ease is ever opened up again
Uncle Sam will have something worth argu-
| Ing about.
| Clara, she has worked hard In a New York
| finishing school all Winter. and certainly de-
serves n pleasant Summer. The Senator
managed that all right and next week she
| goes as chain-bearer with geographical
| surveying party bound for fresh data on the
exact location Of White Sulphur Springs.
l feel quite an ass myself TO think I'm
obliged to pay railroad fare and hotel bills,
not to mention earning no money but what
work for all Summer long. / wouldn't care
whether / went to Homestead and, incident
ally, to sea. to investigate armor plate frauds.
whether l Travelled over the Northern Pacific
Il
didn't know about watering stock and film
aamming the govern nent, nor would it make
the least difference to me whether cruised
about Bar Harbor in the interest OF the coast
survey or fished in Lake Michigan to get ma
terial for an exhaustive report on the COM
parative resources of the United States and
Canada to be made to the Senate next session
by the Committee on Relations with Canada.
1t would be all the same to me just what line
of dog-day devotion to the government | fol-
lowed, only so it yielded me pretty good per
diem pin money and expenses.
-.
But with no papa in Congress. what can
poor girl do? without friend in the Treas
ury Department she can't even hope 10 get so
far as the Chesapeake for cruise in light
house tender. All, people may say what they
will about the deplorable consequences of
office-holding, one might just as well be out
Of the world as out OF Office IN Washington.
Even in the matter Of small charities. /
don't know how one is going to manage TO
keep up with the procession OF the unem-
ployed unless one stands in some sort of
beneficent relation to the national Treasury
CoXeyism. indeed Government resources
directly applied to the relief of the suffering
Individual Why, il this is not unconstitu-
tional ask Mr. Bailey, OF Texas, and he will
tell you what is.
Still. while a public Office is a public
trust" and there is nothing populistic in
ours. when it comes to having our hearts
touched rs private persons. and being able by
reason of our public Office to give the needy
job, then it is we can afford to let our right
hand know what aims our left bestowed, and
yet be IN position not to feel it II both hands
come az Us again.
/ must say. however. that when this DIR. |
Jekyl and Mr.. Hyee combination of private |
and public charity instantly tells woman |
whose husband in Office has deserted her no. |
to cry, Uncle sam will let her have her hus- |
bands place ana strike the bad mans name /
of the Gov ernment payroll. 1 think this |
thu eatens the stability OF society. which has !
its foundation i'll the solid rock of the per- |
feet family.
l can fancy the familiar advertisement for |
an Office varied 10 read thus:
"ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS cash and $50 per |
month TO any man in Office holding $50 Job, |
who will marry me and desert me at the end |
Of the month. Address Needy Lady, this |
office"
But if l felt perfectly sure it wouldn't seem |
too forward. would like to urge for the seri-
Gus consideration of married woman-don't |
make the mistake OF summering at home !
unless, of course. your official husband is
sent by the government to study bimetalism
at Halifax or agriculture at Aix-les-3 3ains
man and woman TO attempt TO dwell to-
gether uninte-ruptedly twelve months out of
a year is sin against the mercy of Provi-
dence. And for an unmarried woman 10 re-
main in town on the strength of the argument
that the summer girl. beng few in town and
men many. the girls opportunities are-my
dear girls. you might as reasonably try to
spear fish in broiling sun at noon.
Ii our charitable and constantly more
fatherly government would have the kind
heart to turn the Botanical Garden into a
beer garden and set up there not only beer.
but the Marine Band TO play Ocean Wave,''
The Storm King and other frigid music
this, too. not only up TO midnight, but for an
hour thereafter. and more also on Sunday for
the benefit of the diplomatic corps ana such
Americans rs have spent three
weeks abroad until these privileges have be-
come vital necessity. then a girl might risk
staying in Washington all summer
Whether the men might risk IL to find out
you must study the expectations of the Wash
iDgton girl as educated by the southern man.
The first time he meets her he swearS she is
the most beautiful he ever saw. The next time:
he loves her. Next time' adores her Next time
cannot live without her. Next time-by that
time. it's next girl. all OF which has set the
Washington woman's emotions with double
back-action spring, whose worriments 1t takes
to nicely calculated
When the representative from my district
brought his bride to Washington the poru-
lar pretty little southern widow at our board
ing house, with whom he had been so friendly
the previous session. had his bridal chamber
fairly loaded with the most exquisite flowers.
On one great bunch OF brides roses, tied with
white ribbon, hung the widows card. written
over with the single eloquent word. "Wel-
come" II was so nice for the bride to be
thus generously greeted by her most amiable
predecessor that she couldn't begin to tell her
all her feelings. The bride really was
touched. and. for that matter. so was the
for just what amount the bride
never knew. Indeed. she never knew n word
about the row he had with florist over
bill the florist kept sending him, and finally
thati was for the widows fragrant
welcome to his bride.