The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1894-05-17
WIT AND HUM0R.

1dhc SOuI ShiuACo shio 49, sA~
chances of other people alone.-GasoeS-
ton. NeUs.
Too many people want to give tri-
fling quid for full weight quo.-Gdl-
UeSt0~ NelOS.
There are too many people In the
church who can't be religious IN cloudy
weather.-Ranl'S Horn.
The leaves have begun to turn pos
sibly in anticipation of the lst of jan
uary.-AuguSta Chronicle
If some men had killed Goliath they
would remind the Lord of it every day
in the ek.-Rana'S Horn.
She-Did you see my new hat at the
theater last night? He-I didn't see
anything else.-BoStoH Transcript
Fangle-Gazzam forgot himself last
night, didn't he? Cumso-No, indeed.
He's too much of an egotist for that.
Puck.
He Cpleadingly)-Would you love
me if | were ricn? She--I can't say
as to that, but I'd probably marry you.
-IU-Btts.
Whatever happens to silver as mon
ey. SO long as weddings last it will al
ways have its present value.-Phtt9-
deiphia Times.
Mrs. Wickwire-Wh shall decide
when doctors disagree? Mr.. Wick
wire--The Coroner, / guess.-Indta's-
ap0Eis Journal.
Mrs Riglet-I wonder if that booty
old Minister will keep the pledge? Mr..
Riglet-He's sure to if he borrowed 1t.
Detroit Free Press.
Johnny-Paw, why did the Arabs
fold their tents and steal away? Papa
They were some other fellows tents.
-CieUeia1ad PLaindeater.
Jagson says the butcher may pre-
tend to be your friend, but he'll give
you terrible roast whenever he gets
a chance. -Etmtra Gazette.
rs Haughton high churchman9"
81 should say SO. He bows in the
creed and kneels in prayer when they
take up a collection. "-Judge.
Stranger Gin far western restaurant
| Is it necessary to tip the walters here
in order TO secure proper attention."
Native-Not if yeh got gum. T.
Weekly.
Goodman-Do you ever think of the
| good old saying that its more blessed
| to give than TO receive? Pu9sley-
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
on | do.-Vogue.
Facetious Physician (being meas
ured for a coaD-They say it takes
nine tailors to make a man. Tailor
Yes, sir; but one doctor can kill him.
detroit Tribune.
Fuller, Hail. and Clark are all RI
walls" CLARK is looking happy. Has
he gained ground?" "Yes-that is, he
has just persuaded the girl to marry
| Hall. - Washington Star.
Customer-Is this good soap? Deal
er--Well, mum, the man who writes
poetry about that soap gets $4,000 a
| year. Customer-My sakes! Gimme
a dozen bars.-N ]. Weekly.
Briggs-Say, old man, want You
to introduce me to your club. Griggs
| (dolefully)-They are very particular,
old fellow, whom they admit. Briggs
But you got inn. Y Herald
ammand-Another year | shan't
90 TO New Hampshire Is board. Van
| Pelt-Doesn't the air agree with you?
Hammand-Ye-es; but | find | get
tired of it as steady diet.-Puch.
After the news from London the
Worlds Fair board of lady managers
need no longer be restrained by the
fear that their proceedings will violate
parliamentary precedents. - PttSburg
| Dispatch.
Tommy" said his teacher, on the
first day of school, have YOU forgot
ten all YOU know? We'll" replied
Tommy, doubtfully, Il don't exactly
know all Eve forgotten. "-Hmper's
Young People.
DO YOU take the daily paper?" ask
ed the newly Installed janitor of the
apartment house. NO" replied the
lady 20 whom he was talking, I'VE sub
scribe for it, but the people in the next
flat take it, Washington Stor.
Miss Antique-I tried my best to
persuade dear George to postpone our
wedding until spring, but the foolish
fellow would not wait" Friend-He's
not foolish at all, dear. You'll be still
older then, you KNOWN. Y. Weekly.
Miss Pinkerley-Isn't it pity that
all the good-looking people can't be
bright and all the bright people good
looking" Young Tutter indeed
it is, Miss Pinkerley. But tell me if
you had your choice which would YOU
be?-LJe.
All the wedding party were assem-
bled at the registrars. The bridegroom
alone was missing. At last he put in
a belated appearance. He was hale
old gentleman of 70. another time, :"
said the registrar, "come bit earlier"
S0nntagSbtaat.
Mistress-Do you mean to tell me,
Bridget, that you let the baby eat sew
en- bananas? Bridget - An sure,
ma'am, didn't yez tell me the last
| thing goin' out TO 'moind the baby
an sure he ordered the whole seven. !"
-Harper's Young People.
This new SOAP" said the barber. "is
very nice. It's made largely of cream
| with just little dash of alcohol in it. !"
| We'll, remember, I'm temperate
man." returned Dobbers, "and don't
put any more of it in my mouth than
you can help National Barber.
Manuscript Reader-H Here is a man
| uscript from some writer | never
heard Of" Great Magazine Editor
| Well, no use discouraging the poor fell
| low. Kick it around the floor so
it will look as if had been carefully
read and send it back. T. Weekly.
Rosalie-Have you chosen any of
Your trademarks vet? Nav = Yes;