Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-09-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1t takes hard tunes to make SomC
people thankful. Rams Horn.
A boys idea of hero is another
boy who runs off ff-Atchison Globe.
Tt is human to err, and human ma
ture to say, 81 told you o."-Ram's
Horn.
Did anyone ever get all the reward
that was offered for thing?-Atchi-
son Globe.
Miss Brooks ''Do you get board in
Brooklyn?" Bridges-"Awfully. -
New York World.
busy man usually prefers telling
q lie to answering lot of questions.
--Atchison Globe.
There is as littlo mercy in stabbipg
with a word rs there is in doing it
with knife. Rams Horn.
woman thinks nothing of buying
fifteen dollar hat, and then eatinga
seventeen cent luncheon. Truth.
We should always treat fortune in
such way as not to cause her smile
to turn into horse laugh. Puck.
You asked me once before.
1t is the name that, without blanc
They now give to a bore.
Judge.
They say that money talks. Prob
ably that is the reason q doctor first
asks to see the patients tongue. --
Puck.
She--"What colored eyes do you
admire; brown or blue?" He-'1
can't see we'll enough in this light. -
Buffalo Express.
'Is Fraulein Sussmilch Mt home?"
"No, SIR" "Please tell her that l
called" 81 will tell her at once. =
Lustige Blaetter.
The person who can sing and won't
is bad enough; but surely there is no
forgiveness for those who can : sing
and will.-Elmira Gazette.
''In oidon time did walk on air
Ye winner of ye maiden fair
But now' and here the joker grinned--
"He mounts his wheel and rides on wind"
Buffalo Courier
People think it is tough when they
have to pay thirty-fye or forty cents
per pound for steak, but it is great
deal tougher when they pay only tif-
teen Boston Courier.
"Why don't you try to paddle your
own canoe" growlcd Brown rs Jones
struck him for ten. 81 can't" said
Jones, "but ] am trying to float
loan. Washington Times.
Billtired-''T ''The world owes me
good liyin' an that's all they be to it. "
Tom Wiser OF boy; but you
see they is so many o you fellers thet
she can't pay her bills. boston
Courier.
'Now," said the young man, "take
tho average woman" ''But there is
no average woman" interrupted the
elder. 'You just naturally have to
consider each woman by herself. -
Cincinnati Tribune.
Tonix -'My friend Soarer's busi
ness frequently puts his lifein danger,
but I've never yet known him to de-
sert his post. Toddies-"What's his
b1siness?'' Tonix-"He's an aero.
naut. South Boston News.
Banks (from his berth, feebly)-'1
say, steward, do you think it's all up
with me?" Steward (cheerfully)-
"Hevery thing, for the present, sir;
but your happetite will be acomin'
by an by. view York Herald.
'Iittlc boy blue come blow up your hc,n,
The shaep's in the meadow, tho cows in
the corn!'
Ho came when the cattle had long gotten
through,
A messenger ne--this little bog blue
--PGc",
81 was astounded when ! heard that
Mr. Brown, who married Miss Schmid:
last week, had given mp his position.
Does lie think ttat love will support
him?" "Oh, o; but he hopes that
his fatLcr-iu-taw will. - Fliegande
Blaetter.
Miss vl.u Aster-~''Did yen tel Mr..
Chumleigh | WAS not ct home,
Eugenie?" Eugenie- -"Oui nam selle
and he gay he spik not Francois, and
to him gay 2at milady viii Gomez
down her own self and tell him in zee
Anglnis. Tho Kings Jester.
Mrs. Nexdoor-''Your little boy
climbed over tho fenco and ran all
over my flower beds. Mrs Suburb
--"Horrors They had Just been
watered, hadG't they?" 40
''Oh, well, never mind; :ha exercise
won't hurt him il he don't get his feet
w9t. ''-iool News.
Soulful Young Woman -"Do you
mean to tell inc that You have never
yet met the woman whose presence
and touch thrilled your whole being
in an u.torly indescribable manuegP
Woary Young Mar-'Only once. Ii
was whom I Ees in the hands af u we
man dentist. indianapolis Journal
When che ialkei she talked aud
when sha talked nobo 'y else much
talked at least uot 10 that immediate
vicinity Nor WAS her husband eu
tiFaiy ohliVlaus o. the fact .fnnT
wite remarked friend e. htu ua
LAY, 'haH remarkable command II
language 'Well, yes,- he replied
thoughtfully, T presume sha has