The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1894-10-25

Madge-Pa gives me 81 not TO be at
home when Fred calls. Mame-You're
'eut for the stuff, " then.-TrUth.
Henderson-Why did they turn Skin
ner out of the church? Williamson
He sold the pastor horse.-Lye.
Speaking of talent Of various kinds,
it takes an artist to draw good salary
these hard times.-BufaIo Co,s-jer.
There are times when duty and in
clination are twins. but only about once
in a lifetime. Nilacaukee Journal
Barber Ga new hand)-Have you got
a mug sir? McTurk-I have. sor! and
| want it shaved dom quick.-TeraS
ISJtingS.
Prscilla-I want to get gown to
match my complexion. Perdita-Why
don't you get a hand-painted one?-
Brooklyn Life.
wv hat barbarians these Asiatics are,7
exclaimed one pugilist. YES" replied
the other. They are actually fight
Washington Star.
First-There is one sign that should
be placed over every tetter-box in the
city. Second-What is that2 First
-
Bacon-Does Pennan make anything
out of his writings? Egbert-I don't
know. | never could make anything
out of them IoqkerS Statesman.
Dora-Don't you think my gowns fit
better than they used to? Cora-Your
dressmaker told me yesterday she was
taking lessons in geome,ry.-Harien1
Life
Many a gifted preacher can find tine
to read new book every week who
couldn't find the parable of the prodigal
son without concordance.-Ran
Horn.
Mrs. Fogg-You have been a naughty
boy, and | shall have to tell your father.
Johnny ! HIM! Just like a woman!
Can't keep secret.-B0stOn Tran
script.
The single eyeglass, says philoso-
pher, is worn by the masher The
theory is that he can see more with
one eye than he can comprehend
Truth.
Father (yisiting at college)-My son,
these are better cigars than | can af-
| ford. Son-1hat's all right, father;
| take all you want; this is on me.-Y Yale
| Record.
Got any drums?" asked the worried
looking man. Boys drums, l mean"
| yes, Sir" said the dealer, "we have
just the thing. They only last about
week"
Very Amateur Singer Cat evening
party sings)-"O, let me like a soldier
| fall" Agonized GueSt-YOu certainly
should if | had Il gun anywhere handy.
-Ha!f Holiday.
A little Boston boy, after observing
| the hairless and toothless condition of
his new baby brother, spoke of him as
an unfinished home product. "-PhH-
ddelphia Record
Teacher-The race is not always TO
The swift. Do you understand the inner
meaning of that? Bright Boy-Some-
| times the head feller's tire gets pune
tured. GOOD NeUS
ut isn't fair to set the strong against
the weak" sententiously remarked the
new boarder as he pushed his butter
plate away from its contact with his
coffee cup.-Bufal0 Courier.
The Chinese are very persistent, )" re-
| marked Miss Learned to a gentleman
| visitor. Il don't know about that 1t
seems to me the character of a China
man is apt to be wishy-washy. "-I6ruS
Sytings.
Aid de Camp-Your Honor two Bos-
ton capitalists arrived to-day TO invest
in Colorado real estate and mortgages.
Gov. Waite (eNcitedly)-I will make
HOY L., ., ~
H{aReap0liS J0uruaE
Wekwire-I tell you, old boy, there's
nothing like a baby to brighten up
mans home. 1absley-Yes I've no.
ticed that the gas seems to be at full
height in your house almost any hour
of the night.-Harlen, Life.
Miss Alice?" said one. "Whv, she
must weigh at least $50 pounds" Non
sense! she doesn't either" hastily spoke
up one OF the young men present. And
then everybody asked him how he
!S0merciHe J0Urmal
Hatterson-I hear your boy is study
ing under tutor preparatory to enter
ing college. How is he getting on?
CatterSOn-Great, old man. In the last
three months he has increased two inch
es around the chest.-Judge.
Jasper-Girls always want to marry
for love but when they grow older they
look after the money. Jumpuppe-
You express yourself very ungallantly.
Women never grow older. They SIM
ply grow wiser-IOccn Topics.
Il really can't see the slightest differ
ence between good catholic and a
good protestant-andT I've lived 60 years
in this world" Faith, You won't live |
sixty seconds in the next before you see
the difference. Pal Mall Budget.
Friend-You still employ Dr. Hard
head, | see. Mrs. De Style-He's just
lovely! My husband and l both like
him. When we are ailing he always
recommends old port for my husband
and Newport for me.-N T. Wee6ly
rs aunty delusion, mammal
why, BERTHE. What put such an out
landish question in your head?" We'll, |
| heard papa say that Mr.. Gofast was
always hugging some delusion or other
and last evening" "Bertie! He did |
mott"
Miss Findesiecle-Don't you think, |
Mr.. Fourinhand, that the new bloomer |
costume for lady. cyclists is very sensi- |
Bile? Mr.. Fourinhand-We we men |
can get accustomed to almost anything |
but it makes it so hard to control the |
horses.
Uncle Josh (who has been indus
triously eating with his knife -Gosh! |
them new-fangled whites you people
have all seem to 90 down the wrong |
way, Niece Matilda. Niece Matilda |
That is probably because they were put
in the wrong way.-Traah.
Suburban Boy-Mamma asked me
what was my favorite flower, an wen |
l told her golden rod she kissed me and |
said was poetic. Wot does that mean?
Little Girl don't know. Why do YOU