The Forrest City times., 1894-08-31
We Have Few Ourselves.


 MR TINES =
 Since we wrote you last the country has passed through the ordeal of a civil war in miniature. The wheels of commerce have been blocked. the m ails delayed. and general demorallzation threatened the social fabric. as we'll as the business enterprises of the land, but, thanks to the mailed hand of the federal government q crisis was averted
 Foreign countries are suffering fiom violated rules of economies. or of that vague and blatant unrest su dominant in the minds of the masses The bloody hand of the assassin has shown itself in the republic of France and the pig tailed jealousy of China has arrayed itself against the paper napkin aristoc- racy of Japan. and they are now trying with their junk ships and cane bottom torpedoes. to drown some of their sur plus millions i'll the mighty deep.
 There shall be wars and rumors of war, but. be not afraid, for the end is hot yet.' Nay, verily.
 But let us come to Jonesboro, this mighty city of the second class-witn- out a grade,
 Those of her citizens who had money enough. have gone to higher attitudes. But what dc those of us who did not ga. care when we are now feeling that listlrss, coyetless, ennui, brought on by dog days, when all nature sinks into a sort of luxurious repose,n We are not only enjoying the sultry tides of the dOgstar 8 rage. but we also enjoy the unenyiable privilege of living un- der the hog stars benign influence.
 The Bible says They shall run to and fro and Knowledge shall increase but it is not so in Jonesboro, for they run 10 and fro and hogs increase at tue rate of hundred per month.
 It is absolutely impossible to drive the entire length of Main street with out having t0 slacken your gait to avoid running into congregated con- glomeratign of female swine, surround ed by their interesting and refined families.
 A grocery man dare not put flour or other edibleS on the sidewalk to wait for the delivery wagon. for some di- !apidated specimen of the swine family would sure take his dinner at once.
 And woe to the man from the coun- try if he lay watermelon on the ground so boy can thump it. His profits will be diminished every time he does so, for hunger does drive those abominahle nusances, called hogs. to action. sometimes.
 We suppose the good people of Jonesboro raise hogs for sanitary and ornamental purposes only, as the c0un- try people dc not wish to buy hogs, or pork, and the supply in town far ex- ceeds tue demand.
 We have long sice decided that this Is strictly Gentle city, as the Hebrew has no weakness for the hog. We defy any one to show us a town in the State of Arkansas, that more hogs are loose on the streets than Jonesboro. We will take the census of the fourfooted, pu- sillaDimous, pestifer0us. Dutrescent plaques next week, If any one wishes to compete or compare.
 Now. the question arises. How are we gong to get rid of hogs on the streets of Jonesooro?
 We have city council and it tseems that it had backbone enough to have the blind tigers prosecuted and tue club houses abolished, but is afraid to Jackie" MT. Hog.
 If the majority of the people in town are for hogs galore, ou the thorough fares. then there might be some excuse. for fuactiOn on the part or the couucll, but we verily believe that D per cent. of the citizens are in favor of busting cle swine.
 We will leave the flea bitten cnss alone until we can get some expression from the people and some action by the council on the hog question. Let the people hold a primary a convention, stuff ballot boxes or resort to the shot gun policy anything to get the lousy fests of the streets.
 The mighty. filthy hog he eateth gar bage by day and he sieepeth on the sidewalk at night.
 He reareth his young in the princi- pal streets of the city.
 He muddieth the still waters of the pool and fiourisbeth like the green gourd tree that sheltereth Jonah. He is not subject to the law of cleanliness, neither. indeed, can be. He is diaboii- cal above all things and desperately filthy-who can know him?
 He heedeth not the council of the cleanly, but delighteth in the destruc- tion of the beautiful.-VoLAPUK in Jonesboro Times.