Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1894-12-08
A CURE FOR BORES.

A CURE FOR BORES.
81 am i'll trouble" said Bremner to
his friend Sommers, "and 1 want you
to help me out"
"Financial?" asked Sommers, with a
slight contracting of his eyebrows.
ooh, no. Worse than that good
deal"
81 didn't know anything could be
worse in these panicky times What is
it?''
81 have friend," said Bremner, "or
man who thinks himself my friend,
and whom for certain reasons | wish
to shake off, but he refuses to be shaken.
Now, you are resourceful man and
may be able to give me hint. I have
tried everything with Snaggs-every-
thing short of positive insult-and all
to no purpose.
"What is the matter with him?" ask
ed Sommers.
"The matter is this: He has boy
years old or thereabouts, and he always
persists in talking about the lad-in
fact, he can't talk of anything else
and imagines every one as deeply inter
ested as himself. I have nothing at all
against the boy. He is good enough,
commonplace little fellow, like all the
rest of them. l never see any difference
in boys myself. They all seem equally
Objectionable. But Snaggs comes to our
house, sits down and talks about his
boy until l am nearly driven crazy. l
hope you can suggest something for my
relief"
81 suggest" said Sommers, "that
you take Snaggs to the state of Michi-
gan, U. S. A, and kill him.
"Why to Michigan?" queried Brem-
ner.
ooh, simply because they don't hang
for murder there, and any penalty short
of hanging should be cheerfully borne
to get rid of man like Snaggs''
81 didn't know you were acquainted
with him." said Bremner excitedly.
'I'm not, but I'm afflicted in the
same way myself. "
''NonsenseW cried Bremner. "Inever
even heard you mention your children. "
81 mean that | am afflicted with a
friend like Snaggs. It's daughter in
his case. His name is Gregsby. I'm
even worse off than you are, for this
only daughter is but 5 years old. You
are two years ahead of me. By and by
the boy will reach years of discretion,
and he will get there quicker than
Gregsby's girl.
81 don't know about that" Bremner
replied gloomily. Girls grow up so
much faster than boys do. W
'But they never reach years of dis
cretion, you know.
81 don't believe any son of Snaggs'
will either. The boys father hasn't, at
any rate. But say, Sommers, All idea
strikes me. Why not introduce Snaggs
and Gregsby to each other?''
'"That wouldn't be bad plan, " re-
piled Sommers cheerfully, "and then
we might bet on them. I'll back my
man to be the greater bore" :"
''There wouldn't be any use in bet
ting" said Bremner, for if your man
is as bad as mine it could only end IN a
draw"
Bring your man round, and we'll
test the case''
Shall | bring Snaggs to your house
tomorrow night them" asked Bremner.
eyes, and if you're in for a bet I'm
your victim. l have great faith i'll
Gregsby and would like to have little
stake on him. -
Its serious subject with me, " re-
piled Bremner
"Oh, very well, then, I'll expect you
tomorrow night about 8 o'clock, though
| suspect your man is not half so capa-
BILE a bore as mine.
1t was few minutes before o'clock
when Gregsby pressed the electric but
ton at the Sommers residence. Sommers
heard him talking to Mrs. Sommers in
the hall, saying: "Oh, yes, thank you,
she is quite well. I'll tell you some-
thing funny that she said today to her
mother -
Sommers groaned and helped himself
to quantity of the stimulant provided
for his guests. The next moment Gregs-
by appeared, smiling, and Sommers greet
ed him with we'll feigned cordiality.
Very soon the bell rang again, and
few minutes after Bremner was intro
ducing Snaggs to the two sitting in the
smoking room.
'Beastly weather this" said Gregsby
to the newcomers. Il don t mind the
weather myself, but when man has
children he is compelled to think of it. p"
''Have you children" asked Snaggs,
with apparent interest. 1--WE little
boy myself, but he doesn't mind the
weather in the least"
81 shouldn't say children" replied
Gregsby. 81 have one little girl, and
she is only years old, but wonderfully
knowing for her age, and this weather
is so bad that she misses her walk with
her mamma. We never trust her with
out nurse, you know
81 was saying" broke in Snaggs,
"that have little boy myself. He is
7, and he goes out in all sorts of wealth
er. | don't believe in coddling children.
And that reminds me of a clever thing
he said to me this morning. He always
comes little piece of the way with me
when l start for the office. He'-
"Ah, yes, interrupted Gregsby, "but
girls are delicate little creatures and
have to be taken care of. -
"Quite SO" agreed Snaggs. II admit
that there are disadvantages about girls
that boys are quite free FROM"