Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-10-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

ciety in fine raiment. Albany Argus.
st. Louis now having depot, trains
will probably stop there for way pas
sengers. Chicago Mail.
Teacher-"W is discretion?"
Bad Boy-"Gittin' over til fence first
when ye call mother fellcr names. -
Puck.
A soldier in summer camp making
love to pretty girl shows the pleas.
anter side Of courtmartial. --Phila.
delphia Times.
The Opposite: Jones (facetiously)
"Got wife at last, eh?" Smith (sol-
emnly)-"No, my wife got husband
at last !"--Vogue.
Amy-"How can influence Charlie
to propose?" Mable e--"Get some one
to tell him you'd be sure to reject
him. Detroit Free Press.
"It's oil up with me" groanedeSky.
lite rs he sank on the eighth stairway
endeavoring to reach his fiat after
hard days labor. Boston Courier.
Little drops o. water
Sprinkled into stocks
Leave the gentle lamhlet
Quito bereft of rocks.
philadelphia Life.
The reason why people who see what
they think are ghosts never grapple
with them is that they know it is dam
gerous to hug delusion. Boston
Transcript.
Love for the sea is felt when one
leans over the rail of ship, looking
out over the deep blue ocean, feeling
ready to give up everything for it
Texas Siftings.
"They say Sphoftlcy was badly hit
by that handsome Miss Phlirtem the
other night" "Pm not surprised. I
saw her throw her eyes at him several
times. "-Buffalo Courier.
Van Pelt-"Are you believer ;ssss
the theory that one should marry
wife his opposite in temperament?"
Enpec --"Don't bother about that;
they re all opposite enough. Puck.
rather think I'm getting old
feel 1t in my bones;
Aud girls who called me Uncle Bob
Now call me Mister Jones
-Harper's Bazaar.
A girl is perfectly justified in look.
ing with suspicion on young man
who tries to convince her that diamond
rings are no longer fashionable for en-
gagemept purposes. Merchant Tray.
eler.
Judge-"You say your boy was
kept in the house nights and read
books. What books?" Father (of the
youthful accused) -" The Boy Ban.
dts of Bombay series. Boston
Transcript.
Conductor" said the weary COM
muter, 81 wish you would open this
window for me-" ooh, you do, do
you?" returned the conductor. "Do
you take me for strong man?
Harper's Bazaar.
Maude-"Ob, he wrote me lovely
poem. 1t began. when you would
know why men 60 mad, go gaze into
your mirror" Bertha-"Whatb bosh!
You're not so ugly as oil that. "--Poar-
sons Weekly.
Wife-"The doctor says will gain
ten or fifteen pounds if 1 so away for
a month. Can't go, dear?" Hus-
band-"Not much! Why, not one Of
your gowns would fit you then. -
New York Herald.
Wylie talking over college days)-
"And whatever became of Duller, the
only fellow in the class who was al.
ways at the foot?" De Biggs-"Pro-
fessional chiropolist, the last heard"
Buffalo Courier,
Second Husband - 'You needn't
growl because don't work. All your
first husband did was to whittle."
Weary Wife-"Yes; but always
found enough Shawn IS after he got
through to build the fire in the morn
ing. "--Syracuse Post.
''And what's your reason for increas-
ing the servants wages, pray?" her
friend asked. "Because my husband
complained that my dress and millin-
cry bills equaled tho household ex-
ponses, and want to chow they do
not. "-Flicgende Blactter.
"Did you divide your npples with
Freddie?" Robbie--"No; give 'em
oil to him." "Did mama's generous
little boy enjoy seeing his friend eat
them more than having them HIM
self?" Robbio-''Yes; mobile he'll
get sick On then can borrow his BIZ
cvclc. ."-Cnicago Intcr Ocean.