The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
ONCE WAS ENOUGH.
Mr. Mcswat Makes an Invasion Into tn
Lower Regions.

| hoWer Regions.
"11arki What's that?"
| Mrs. McSwat sat bolt upri,,ht IL, he'd and
| listened.
"Billiger" she exclaimed in IA horse wills
per, shaking her snorin. husband, II hear
| n noser'
"Wh-wh-what? Wherc?" said Mr.. Nc,
Swat, waking with ii jerk. whats the
matter, Lobelia?"
SSH Listen! There it is again! It's
down stairs. Billigcr, there's somebody in
the houscw
Billigcr listened Il moment
She was right.
fling, stcalthykind of noise us if made bv
somebody who was unacquaintcd with the
premises and had no business there.
lie rose and dressed himself by thrtisIinc
his feet in :; pair OF slippers and pulling on
dressing gown. Then he lighted a dark
lantern hr had purchased for clue,.,cf,rie.
of this Kind armed himself With "a Eiieu,
carpet stretchcr one of the dea,,licst ,yotn
ons known 40 scicncc-nud turned To hi-
wife
"l.ohclia, he whispered huskily, ''rcmain
here. Iou can TO no good | will meet this
invader alone. But stay, If there should
DC more ihan one, hc continued. grinding
his teeth, and YOU hear me call ont. Won
may come 10 The top of the Stair; and yell.
Make all the noise you can. 1t will convey
the impression that we are eXpcctin. them
and are prepared"
With his dark lantern in one hand and
the deadly carpet strctchcr in the other he
started slowly down the stairway, coughing
loudly rs he went.
Mrs McSwat listened with painful eager
ness She could hear Billigcr rasping his
terrible weapon against the baustrade and
aft,sF I'LL.
every moment.
Presently the noises ceased 1t was evi.
dent that Billiger was searching the house
with Il view to slipping upon the marauders
unlwarcs.
Then there came Il wild yell.
Without waiting to assure herself wheth-
er it came from BilliEcr or the burglars
Mrs. McSwat seized Il chair, ran to the head
Of the stairs, screamed with all her might.
tumbled the chair down 10 the floor below.
rushed back for the washbowl and pitcher.
sent them flying after the chair and hurled
down broom, another chair, Il small trunk,
bootjack and several other articles of n
portable nature that stood or lay within
reach, her voice ringing out all the time in
series of wild, blood curdling shricks.
While the din was Mt it's height Mr.. Bill
ger McSwat appeared at the foot of the
stairs.
"Lobelia" he shouted, lodging nimbly
rs towel rack flew past his head, what
on earth do you mean by this internal rack
ct? You've broken 800 worth of furniture
and reused the ncighborhood. The police
and the fire department will be here if YOU
don't stop'
Wasn't there any burglar, Billigers"
asked Mrs. McSwat.
Burglar" snortcd Biligcr. clnbin,.
Z f,.., i,,t |,
up the stairs three steps at Il time. Bur
glar! No! 1t was only the cat Didn't
You hear 1T scrcech when kicked it ont Of
the parlorS Burglar he exclaimed CON
tcmptuously, throwing the patent carpet
stretcher under the bureau, eXtingui,hing
the dark lantern and crawling between the
sheets again. "Lobeliu, il You hear any
more burglars or thieves or robbers in this
house tonight and wake me up again there S
going to be trouble, madam. Go TO bcd!'
And all the rest Of the long weary night
, Lobelia lay abet. wide awake, and listened
to the deep, regular, ccasclc~s snoring of
Mr.. BilliSer Mc@wut.- Tribune