The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1894-02-15

those who live in the reveries of the
past. You talk about the hour of
marriage ending the female reign.
Why, that's all bosh. That is just
when they are strictly in it. Don't
you know
That sii never slavishly submits,
She'll rave her will or have her fits.
Now think Of Col. u. or Maj. II. or
DR.. $. married! Why, the idea is
fantastic, frolicsome and wild.
Heaven smiles u cynical smile when
you assert that they are green.
They are up. way up, in the arts and
sciences. Yours,
Nor In Ir.
Yes you are. We just overlooked
you Ed.
WANTS To ELOpE.
Dear Mr.. Editor-I am only l6
years old and still 90 to school, but
! would love to create a sensation of
some kind, and l might he induced
to elope with Mr.. - if he would
only ak me. b, you think he is too
old? Please, how can | manage to
let him know? Your advice and As.
%sislance will be remembered and
cherished as the noblest act of your
life. In great anxiety,
Yours sincerely,
MARY.
No, he is not too old.-[Ed.
A WIDOW AFTER THEM.
Dear Mr.. Editor-I am willing to
marry again. l am good-looking
and only 80 years old Cal cook, wash
and iron, and my dear dead husband
has been dead 8 months. DO
you think any of them would take a
widow with 5 children? Yours,
Mrs. SARAH--
Tiy Abe.-[Ed.
SLIGHTLY INJURED L STILL. IN THE
Mr.. Editor-Being one of the un-
fortunate bachelors who were writ.
ten up by the editor OF the RErUB-
LICAN'last week, and being myself an
old newspaper man, l. deem the ar
ticle worthy Of notice.
1t is not my fault altogether, Mr.,
Editor, that / belong TO the large
crowd of bachelors in tnis town.
Tie first experience | had in love
was a family quarrel between me
and her. Let there be no strife
between me and you, for we lie sin
gle YETI she said, and | replied
sadly: SIS not the whole world be.
fore us? Separate thyself, | pray
thee, from me. If thou wilt tax,
the left hand, then | will 90 TO The
right or, il thou depart to thu
RIGHT hand, then | will go the left
The crisis of the moment was de
cided as it always will he in spcl
cases.
My old friends who have know
me for many years will testify that
have tried, ard hard too, eve since
to marry myself off before ] wa
forty. They will tell Of the tim
when l used to wear high s.andin,
collars so tight that they choked IN,
throat Of the small boots that
used to have on, in which my fee
were cramped up, and more uscfu
for a corr planter than a comfort
able boot. They will also admit tn
l was quite as gallant as a SPANS
cavalier, for many a time did | star
out with my guitar Of an evening
screnade the young ladies. {
course this was all useless; III
schemes and attempts did not take
and now that my locks are CROWN
thinner and the parting of my ha
ON the top of my brain.box is a thin
Of the past, it would be useless t!
me to make any further attempts.
This being the case, / have al,
changed my manner and way
: living, Now l wear boots thr,
s numbers too large, because l g
them for the same price, and mo
S leather. Where 1 formerly need,
three shaves per week, n will
Q now, and even less, il the frost |
= stubhles wouldn't show too plai
No curtain lecture awaits me at Il
o bachelor quarters in the evenings
n no one asks me for change when
q get up In the morning.
n II my past history, my good ha
its Of life, and my misstatements
regard to my age, give mt away a