The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-02-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
yorldly wise-Geographers.


There's the rub-At the Turkish
bath
Gossip of the ring-Society chatter
over an engagement. Truth
When you bury your grudges do
not erect tall monument over them.
Galveston News.
Some men are the architects of their
own fortunes; others only carry the
hod to theirs. Puck.
Johnny, is your father a firm
man?" eyes, MON, when he knows
he's wrong. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"That fellow Jawley is a broker,
isn't he?" eyes" ''Has he any
money!" 'Yes-he's got mine. -
Life.
The trouble with the family tree
is that its latest twigs put on the
greatest air of self-importance.
Truth.
Somehow or other people always
distrust a man who is generally known
to dye his whiskers -Somerville
journal.
Although the relations between
France and Germany are strained they
don't seem to be very clear. Texas
Siftings.
Lloyd lat dinner) Mamma, what
makes us eat soup first, then fish? Is
it SO the fish can go in swimming. -
Babyhood.
Be modest don't forget that many
things which you regard as events are
looked upon as mere incidents by
other people. Puck.
Aunty--"So you have had your first
meal at your new boarding place. Was
it course dinner?" Little Girl
lawfully. Good News.
Some genius has invented an indoor
game of baseball. This goes TO show
that the game is not altogether played
out. Hartford journal.
Bride why do they give us so
many things We are too poor to useg
Groom-''Yes; this cookbook, for in
stance" e?"-Detroit Tribune.
81 enjoyed the sermon to-day more
than any 1 have heard in six months"
Mrs. Seequick your new cloak
sealskin or beaver? ?"--Inter-Oc
''What is the correct English of it?
Do you collect bill or collect debt?"
''The English of it is you can't do
either just now. st. Louis Republic.
Maud-'Ive made splendid reso-
luton" Guinevere-"What is it?"
Maud-"I've determined to leave off
getting engaged. Chicago Record
Tho how efoOd an tha fo,. oil
Whence all but him had slid
Zip went his heels, up went his feet,
And "wow-wow" went the kid.
--Binghamton Republican.
"Money talks" remarked the bust.
ness man, who was ruefully contem
plating lot of idle capital "but il
doesn't talk in its sleep. - Washing
ton Star.
Miss Porkopolis-'I it true that
all Bostonians live ON baked besus?"
Mrs. Beaconstreete--"Oh, no lots OF
them live on their relatives. "-Somer,
vile journal.
Father--"Well, young man, un
derstand, then, that You love my
daughterY Nervous Youth--''N-n
no, sir, 1 wish to marry her. Chi
cago Inter-Ocean.
Philanthropist -"You say you are
keeping n lookout for work? The1
why can't you get work?" Weary
Willyum-"That's not what I'm keep
ing the lookout for. Chicago Record
Hoax-'T hear Hamphat has just
received legacy of million dollars"
Joax-"Yes, and that makes him at
once the richest and the poorest actor
in the profession. Philadelphis
Record.
Kangaroo-'It's your ivory tn,
hunters are always after. Why don't
you carry it in your trunkg" Ele
phant Its your skin they want
Why don't you hide it inyour pouch.
Chicago Tribune.
"She had ms pretty name as / even
heard. II was Marjorie Mayblossom,
but she had it changed "Changed?'
yes, by law" Good graciousl
What did she have it changed TOP
''Mrs, Marjorie Smith. New York
Press.
She lsympathizingly}--'I feel Sc
sorry for the poor street car conduct
ors. II must be terrible for them TO
be on their feet all day long. He
"Humph They amt They're on
the passengers feet more'n half the
time. Buffalo Courier.
Mrs. Pryer-'I understand your
husband is very fond of female
society," Mrs. Sweetly- Excessively
SO. In fact, l can't get him to 60 ton
club or anything of that kind. He
wants TO be in my company all tho
time. New York Press
81 believe in trying 60 put as good
a face as possible on everything in
times like these, Maria, said Mr.
Billus, looking again at tho bill that
had Just been brought in, "but it does
seem 10 mo Tint S9 7I for comnlaNinn