Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1894-11-07
PARAGRAPHS OF ALL SORTS.

II amt going to school any more.
"Why, dear?" tenderly inquired
his mother. ""Cause, faint an,
use. I can never learn to spell
The teacher keeps changing tn
words every day."
In the family circle, little Mary
one evening when all was silent
looked anxiously in the face of be-
father, who had ceased to pray il
his family, and said to him witt
quivering lips, "Papa, is Goo
dead?" "No, my child; why dc
you ask that?" "Why, papa, yor
never talk to him now as you usec
to do" she replied.
A hundred tons of cats tails
were recently sold in one lot II
London for the purpose of orna'
menting ladies wearing apparel
Assuming that an average cats tai.
would weigh couple of ounces
this would mean that no fewer than
100000 pussies had been killed
just to supply this one deal.
Hicks-That wasn't a bad pres.
ent that Tom got from his wife's
father as a wedding gift-$2, 400
$1OO for each one of the brides
years. Wicks-I should say not;
neither did Tom have anything to
say against it, I guess. "No-oh.
no; only he couldn't help saying,
half aloud, What a fool | didn't
take Maria! She's thirty if she's
a day"
"sairy Ann," he said, with a
touch of asperity in his voice,
"What is it?" asked the president
of the Bingville Association OF
Emancipated Women. "Any wo-
man that can't sew on suspender
button any better'n you did this
one couldn't discharge the duties
of sheriff nohow. An I'm burned
eff III vote fur ye."
81 say, Robert: what is it that is
dearer than life, and freer than air ;
the rich man wants it, the poor
man has it, the lniser spends it,
the spendthrift saves it2" "Give
it up. What is it?" "It's nothing.
Nothing is dearer than life, moth
ing is freer+thans sairETh The:rieh man
wants nothing, the poor man has
nothing, and the spendthrift saves
nothing"
"I hate to see a woman with rings
in her earl" exclaimed the good
deacon; "they amt natural If it
was intended for women to wear
them she would have been born
with holes in her ears. The first
woman didn't veal :ings, I'll be
bound" "No," remarked a quiet
little man in the corner, "nor any
thing else." The discussion was
adjourned without delay.
"I should like to be excused,
your honor" says a man who had
been summoned on a jury. "What
for2" "I owe a man $40 and wish
to hunt him up and pay it." "Do
you mean to tell the court that you
would hunt up q man to pay q bill
instead of waiting for him to hunt
you up?" 'Yes, your honor" "You
are excused. I don't want any
man on the jury who will lie like
that"
Samuel was before the bar of
justice for having purloincd divers
and sundry pullets from the coop
of a prominent citizen. didn't
you know it was wrong to steal
those chickens?" asked the Judge.
"Yessuh, yo' honor" "Then why
did you do it?" "It's disher way,
yo' honor" replied Sam, striking
the attitude of a martyr, II jis'
done hit to take away tem'tation
fun de paf OBJ my neighbors, yo'
honor"
A day or two since Albert Miller,
of Pittsburg, was sentenced to two
months imprisonment for kissing
his sweetheart on the public street.
Served him right. A man who
would do thing of that kind in
public ought to get whole year.
He should have waited until be
got home. It's a thousand times
better in a dark room or hallway
than in the blazing light of the
sun.
Georgia has turned out a 49,