The Lake Charles echo., 1894-08-17
jokes AND JOKERS.
SOME OF THE FUN AND FuNMAKERS
OF eYGONE DAYS.

OF eYaoNE DAYS.
From Diogenes to More Modern Men-Tho
English Furnish Rather a Heavy Glass of
Humor-In0xhaustIblo Supply of Irish
Bulls.
| There is more real humor in mod"
ern clodhoppor than in an ancient phi.
losopher. The jokes that have come
down to US from Greece are mostly poor
stuff, but college boys are glad to get
any comfort at all from root grubbing,
and therefore they laugh at DiOgencs
and Aristophanes. 1t Is said that the
old cynio begged tub to live in and
toted this about where no liked and
squatted under it when he pleased
| When Alexander called on him in this
| palatial residence, he asked what he
could do for him. "Gct out Of my sun
light" said Diogenes. That was tOlera-
bly, good, but uncivil. The nasty old
cub with his tub could be duplicated by
@ thousand tTamps in America any day,
and many of them arc doubtless nastier
and smarter Plato Is said to have
preached fatality. When a rogue ran
against him with Il beam and excused
himself as 'fatcd to do it, " "Yos, "
said Plato, 81 sec, but | also am fated
to beat you for it, " and gave tho fellow
a good Gaming. For spOrtiYeness Horace
was tho most pleasing Of the anCients,
but his verses are very amatOTy and
some Of them moro suggestive than
French play Charles Lamb is worth
20 of him, only that Horace could DO
poet when he chose Of a different sort
Homer's picture of Thcrsitcs is the old
est burlesquo that / remember A joke
coming down from 1000 b. G. ought to
be pretty good. viii M. Quad last as
long2
English joking is generally heavy
Here is one told by James Payn. A wit
ness in a slander case swore that Miss
Hes was thrown over the wall dozen
times, "What, said the judge, "WhO
was Miss Hes, aud why did they throw
her oyerf" 1t was missiles. lcannot see
anything SO very funny III Sydney
Smiths wishing he could, on u certain
hot day, take OFF his flesh and sit in his
bones. But Hood and Charley Lamb are
brace that no one ought ever to be
without. / have given up trying to keep
a complete set Of either, They are bor-
II rowed and rUlished, and, suppose, read
to pieces.
Hood WAS capital in every direction
he turned, whether pathos, satire, pun
or pure Joking His taking off Of cele-
, brated characters was as good as any
thing. You should first read Boswell +
johnson" and then road Hoods
"Johpsoniana. " But does anybody read
Boswell nowadays? Alas, for once ia,
! NOUS booksl Hood, says Johnson, was
once consulted by lady as to the de
e gree of turpitude and spanking due hel
boy for robbing al orchard. Madam, .
said the ponderous doctor, "it all hangs
on the weight Of the boy. remember
my school fellow, Dayy Garrick, Wh(
was little fellow, robbing dozen on
ehaYds with impupity, but the very frs
time climbed an apple tree, for wa
q always solid, the bOugh broke, and /
y was called a Judgment on me. sup
pose that is why justice is represented
with q pair Of scales. "
Sheridan was the best Of j0kers, bu
es half that is attributed to him is fioatlnl
wit that needed father 1t is probabl,
truo that he asked his roistering bu
highborn crew one night whethoF tho,
should drink like beasts or like men
Some one said, "Men, Of course ION
then, ;" cried Sheridan, "we'll get aw
full drunk, for beasts only drink wha
they need"
Irish wit is famous the world oyeI
= Part of it consists in the brogue, but
ia is rare that an Irishman has not SUI
prises of speech, in which consists tn
wit of the highest order lie Fanu, /
his "Seyenty Years of Irish Life, " ha
0r collected great deal that is delicious
A witness that was badgered by Law
- yer was asked, "You're nice fellow
now, amt youP' Witness answered
II am, sir, and If were not on oatl
sir, I'd say the Same Of yeu.' Anotht
witness was asked by bullying coul
9 sci, $50 you had . pistolT = hat
y sir." 'Who did you intend to shootr
II want intendin to shoot no one,
$50 you got it for nothing" mo,
didn'tH Come, come! On your oati
what did you get that pistol forT' "Fl
three and pinepence, sir, in MI Ricl
ardsen's shop"
The Irish bull is often better thu
= any deliberate wit. Sir Richard Stee
insisted these bulls were owing to q
air Of the country, "and, sir F" no ad,
ed, "if an Englishmau was born her
] don't doubt he'd do the same" IN
debate on taxation an Irish member
8 parliament insisted that "a tax on leat
81 would press heavily on the barefoo
I'd peasantry.n Sir Boyle Roche Tepll,
they could make tho under feathers
=. wood. = The same Sir Boyle urged &
y union of England and Ireland, 80 th
- athe barren hills would become ferti
u ], Valleys In another debate be answe
- cd, u boldly answer in the afiirmati
~ Mob He was author Of "You shou
=, rofraip from throwing open the loo
~ Rates of democracy, lest you shon
pave tie way for . general eonfiagl
hon. AT race an lrishnaan was Z
lighted because he was FIRST az last
Whom they laughed, be added, SUI
" wasn't / behind before.n One day
lS- friend Of Bishop Bramstone approach
him with the remark that be wanted
WIG. young, rich and pretty" " and
varied TIC bishop ~ pick her ont
I, him. tTut, tuti' said the bishop. ''i
iiy name Il Bramstono, not Brimstonel
~ do not make matches R'-E- Z. Pow
~ u Sd Louis Globe Democrat
what Nay Re.