The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-04-19
] SMELL SMOKE.

3Ismoling i'll bed, but Mrs Snoodlc,
{Ithough she allows him to smoke any
Awhcro olse, very properly forbids him to
Islndulgo i'll such d dangerous practice
ItHowcvcr, as Mrs. Snoodlo is remark
(fably sound sleeper Mr.. Snoodlo frequent
~ manages to enjoy IL fow stolen whiffs
One night when i'll bed Dir. Snoodle
had an Irresistible desire for a pipe
which no i'll vain underworld to combat.
bis vito was fast ;lslccp, so no cautious
Il ly stretched out his hand for his pipe,
u which lay on IL littlo table by tho bed
side. Then with equal caution he filled
ut, lighted up and was pulling away
with intense relish when Mrs fmoodlo
turned over and gavo two OF theoo
snorts.
n Il believe she's going to wake Up,
thought Mr.. Snoodle and hastily took
his pipo from his mouth and placed it
\ OH tho table
n Mrs Snoodlc gave few more snorts
and woke up. Then shc gave series
shifts, and Mr.. Snoodlo trcmblcd, for
n the room was pregnant with tobacoo
h smol1r.
4 John are you smoking?" asked his
H vito stcrnly
\ "Ccrt;Inly not, my doar Whatever
makes you think SOP" no innoccntly IN
4 quirc<l
Because I can smell tobacco" she
replied. "Phcw, how strong it is! Don't
/ yon smell it, John?"
Cant say | do, Martha I've got u
bit of II cold
Open your eyes, man. and thon YOU
/ will. y snapped Mrs. Snoodlc
I Il don't smell with my eyes" gig
\ glcr! MIR. Snoodic
what ] mean il wake up properly
and sniff hard. Now, can't You smell
ftp
"Wcll-cr-I think there is faint
odor of tobacco" admitted the culprit.
"Think-faint odorl Why, tho place
rceks with it! l tell you what it is,
John. there's somebody smoking in tho
house, declared his wife
I 'Doyou think Jane indulgcs in pipe
I on the sly" suggested Mr.. Snoodle.
! "Nonscnsc!'
well, my dear, the only other living
thing In the house is the cat, and I
. never heard of cats smoking"
Don't talk rubbish John. It's scri-
GUS matter. It's my firm belief there's
burglar smoking in the house" And
Mrs Snoodle shivcred
"Ah, very likely" replied Mr.. Snoo-
die, thankful for his lucky escape and
preparing TO go to sleep again.
John, arc you going to sleep and lot
tho house he ransaclicd?" asked his wife
Indignantly.
Certainly not, my dear
"Thcn why don't you go down stairs
and catch the burglar?"
N1r. Snoodlc very reluctantly got ont
OF tho warm bed into the cold air, sleep
lily lighted candle and moved toward
the door
Aren't You going to take some
weapon of dctcnsc:' asked his wife
DO you want TO be killed? Incycr saw
such a mani
Mr.. Snoodlc rather sulkily seized the
poker and muttcrcd that "if he found Il
burglar he'd mako it smoking hot for
! him "
He had got half way down stairs and
/ was thinking Of anything but burglars
WHEEL he suddenly SAW man dart out
of tho dining room and bolt down the
kitchen stairs. Mr. Snoodlc's first i'm
pulse was instant flight, for he was an
arrant coward, but lie was so ,lstoundcd
and pctrified with fear that he was ut
terly unable to either move or speak.
Ho simply stood STILL holding tho candle
nearly upside down, with his mouth
wide open. Then he heard the back door
bang and knew that the burglar was
gone, so Thought it was about time for
action and to earn little cheap glory.
So he roarcd OUT You villains III
murder you! I'll scalp you us clean us a
whistlo! and rushed down stairs. He
had mover before felt so heroic in his
life. He bounded into the dining room
and fought ficrccly with the furniture,
especially the fender, as he could bang
into that without injuring it much un-
til nc was quite exhausted.
John, John, come up stairs!"
screamed Mrs. Snoodlc You'll be
Jhllodl"
| cts ali right, Martha!" shouted
/ back Mr.. Snoodlc.
: "Havo you got the rascals safely
| bound them"
"No, they've got away. But I've
! nearly killed emf
Ihiuk heaven! come up STAIRS and
/ let me dress your wounds, DEAR" said
(, Mrs Snoodlc solicitously.
1 Mr.. Snoodlc, after securing tho back
|, door, which the servant had omitted to
+ lock. and undoing the bundle of plate
that tho burglar had left behind in his
hurry to escape, went up stairs.
4 ooh, john. exclaimed Mrs Snoodle
{ on bcholding him, then you're not
icad:"