davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-06-16

Death is IL sad thing" sighed the ser
geant as he unconsciOusly dipped his pen
in the mucilage bottle.
Death. death! Who has TALKING aboudt
dGatn?" repred Mr.. Dundcr. Cant you
understand some SMOKES from my alma
nae? Maybe you like to discourage me be
cause you vhas shealOus, hut it can't be
done. Now, listen to me. l haf some ad
wertiscmcnts like nOpody eater saw before
Here vhas one for some railroads:
Took Some More NOticc-Nhcn o
go west, took dot magnificent hurricane
express on der Short line. II somepOdy
else has a shorter line, he vhaS IL liar
When you has on our cypress, YOU VhaS
as safe ash in shtate prison. She makes
time. No COW on der track She VhaS
equipped nit wheels und shmOkestack5
und dining cars. You vhas introduced TO
der very best peoples in dis country, und
if you can read we furnish books und pa
pcrs. Before you vhas in st. Paul you
may borrow 500 of a member OF congress
or be engaged to some rich girl. YOU don
shange cars NIT a freight train. You doan
hat to get oudt und WALK if we como to
a Hill or a mudhOlc. Dere vhaS some
scenery all along dot route. We press dot
BUTTON, und you shu5t sit shtill und hat
goot times. If we go from New York to
San Francisco by way Of Vermont or New
Orleans, dot vhas to gif YOU extra scenery,
but we dOan' shargC for her. If you like
to make some inquiries abOudt our moral
character, dot VhaS all right, ind We send
YOU full particulars. All goods marked
i'm plain figures, und she vhas no deception
on der pooblic. Doan' let somepody put
off an inferior article ON you. Der longest
| short route vhas der best ind der shCap-
est"
HDid YOU say that Mrs. DUnder was very
i'll and not expected to live the day u
quietly asked the sergeant as Mr.. Dund"r
finished reading.
Sergeant, dOan' you tccl teckIcd
81 can't say that l do
.Nhell, dot makes no dCefCrencc to me.
If YOU vhas a man nit q tack hammer in
yOur shtomach und can hat fun, l WAS
not to blame for her. l sells oudt my sa-
loon pcesness, und l shall invent an al
manac. He Will come Oudt eafcry few
doys, He Will be comic. He Will hal
sOoch SMOKES in him dOt-ha, ha, haN Let
me tell YOU some more. l shall hat some
family recipes in dot almanac. Here Vhai
two samples:
IF a shild wakes oop in der night unI
screams Oudt, maypC it Vha5 cole. unC
maype her vhas dreaming dot some cat
bite her. Go ii lecdlc slow till you hnt
Oudt abOudt her. Ii she Was dreams uht
cats, den some remedy for der colc VIA
no use
In case Of cold feet walk aroundt
good deal. 1t vhas better to begin vhalkihs
around aboudt 5 o'clock in der Gaining
und shtay oudt till midnight IN wv
wears vhas completely restored to health
If your wife doan' like you to vhalk ouGt
she vhas no frendt of yours.
is that ALL" asked the sergeant.
sol course not. She vha going to ha
one hoonercd pages in her und be all-hA
ha, ha!-shokes! l shust gif you Il teE
outlines. 1 like you to think it all oa1e
after I go AWAY. Maybe you shmilc a lee
die. If so'-
"Well:"
send it to me by telephone und let IN
know dot you vhas my frendt. So Ion
i vhas-ha, ha, ha!'
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-06-16

ICopyright, 1894. by Charles B. Lewjs.l
'.Vhcll, sergeant, I come to shpeak NIT
you some more aboudt dot almanac-ha
ha, hal' said Carl Dunder as he suddenly
slipped into the police station on Satur
day.
eyes, the sergeant as ko
slowly raised his eyes from the b!ottec, on
which he had just entered a record.
''She Wasn't ready yet. but everyt'irgS
vhas going off like some grease. She Will
be der biggest hit in fcefty vars l vhas
laughing all der time for W wochs-ha,
ha, hal"
What were you laughing about, NJ
DUndcr?"
"Vhy, aboudt dot Carl DGrdc:'s comi,
almanac, of course. She vhaS humorous.
She yhas comic. She vhas sofull Of SMOKES
dot if you read her you haf to put your
hands on your ribs, so, und bend oafer, 50,
md go-ha, ha, ha! Ho, no, ho! BY gOl-
", but l hat ncffcr felt so good in all my
life before! Oxcuse me, sergeant, but
but
MIR. Dunder," gravcly said the ser
ccant as he looked over the top OF his
desk, eff any misfortune has happened to
you, 1 am sorry, but this is 10 place TO ex'
hibit your grief
"Grief! Grief! Why, sergeant, I vha'
SO teekled I doan' know VIA to dol Whe1
I think of dose SMOKES in my almanac, l
shust fall to pieces militia, ha. hal l
bring down a few more samples to read
YOU. Keep shtill now:
"'Vhen vhas a turkey not a turkey?
When she vhas a goose, of course
".Vhen does dot Mississippi river be
come sleepy? When she gets into her e
"'Nhy vhas a woman shut oOp III shtate
prison like a rat in a trap? Because she
can't get Oudt.
"'Vhen vhas der Atlantic ocean like a
lion? When she switches her tail und
rOarS.'
"'Vhy vhas a shlceping shild in his
cradle like a cyclone? Because some an
gels whisper to dot shild, und she shmlleS,
while a cyclone has been known to XII
more ash two hoonered peoples in fife min
utes.'
My boy Shake und me got up dose
SMOKES in one hour, sergeant, Dey Vha>
all American SMOKES, but dot vhaS shus
ash good for eafcrypody else. got an ltal
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-06-16
w 20 De sDliCed

DO you love this woman s!r-co yo1
love her with a ;ove which al! the waters
CT the grea: Pacific ocean ooulc cot
Q~uench2'
AS nigh as I k:r fgger it out ! 60
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-06-16

ian in my house und read him dose SMOKES,
und he got ash white ash snow und fell
oafer a shair. 1 haf to be careful or some
pody vhas teekled to death. BY golly, but
-ha. ha. ha!'
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-06-16
Prom NJ. Qn0d.
DUNDER E GAY.
THAT ALMANAC OF HIS PLEASES
HIM GREATLY.

Hc Is So Ticklcd About 1t He Doesn't
Know What to Dole Gives Some Sam
pies of Jokes Prepared by Him and
Jake.
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04
Gold Lined Cups Not In It.

A tall young man, with pretty
young woman, sauntered across Inde-
pendence square yesterday afternoon
when Old Sol was at his hottest. When
they came to the ice water fountain, the
young woman stopped and picked up
one sof the tin cups, and scanning it
ruefully shook her head at her compan-
ion and laid it quickly down again.
The next thing was to slip off small
suede glove, and placing the pretty
hand it fitUed under the stream she
filed its palm with water and drank
from it three times. And the next thing
was to see the young man bend over the
same palm while he held her wrist TO
balance the novel cup. and five times it
took to satisfy him, and right willingly
did the pretty young woman fill IL and
place it to his lips Both actors were
perfectly unconcerned, and after the
young man had dried the young WON
ans hand in his pocket handkerchief
they sauntered in a down town direc-
ton on--Philadelphia Record.
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04
cleoPATRA'o NEEDLE.
Getting tn. = ,eIisk Aboard Ship a Pretty
iece of Engineering.

ltte VI
Zone of the pleasantest recollections
I have to look back on, >" said Adam
johnson, ''is the fact that was one OF
the party that helped TO run mp the
American coloIs over Cleopatra's needle
when it was being taken down to be
carried to New York. Our vessel was
out in the Mediterranean with rowing
commission, and we were at Alexandria
at the time the obelisk was being NOV
ed. The big stone had been presented by
the Egyptian government to this coun-
try, But the people were wild about hav-
ing it moved We had to place guard
around the men who were working ON
the shaft, and even then there was al
most a riot
But that was one of the prettiest
pieces of engineering work have ever
sea. The engineers who were moving
or- shaft had couple Of big wooden
, Sc built that fitted around the needle
like ae pieces of wood around the lead
in a pencil There were couple OF pro-
iec .iles on each side of the castings just
on the center of gravity in the shaft.
like the trunnions ON a cannon. Under
these they put lifting jacks and just
picked that immense stone on Its
pedestal, swung it around horizontal
and then lowered it as gently as could
be ON long sliding way, with cannon
balls under it for rollers They had
square hole cut in the stern Of the
steamship and slid it into the hull
through that and replaced the sheathing
outside.
Under the shaft in the inside OF the
pedestal there We're lot of bronze toads
and ornaments and the Lord knows wha'
not that the Masons claimed We're placed
there by some of their progenltors cons
ago. / don't know anything about that,
though, and you can leave it or take 1t,
as you choose.
1.-The British We're not half SO slicl
with the obelisk they carried over Il
England They cased it up in big
sheet iron arrangement like boiler, riv
eted it in and fioated the whole thing
off through a trench dug IN the sano
down to the water. Then they riggeC
Jury sails ON it and towed it over q
England, but they lost three or foul
men off it before they got it in port anC
had all sorts of time generally.
"a couple of years afterward ! saw
the British obelisk set up on the eas
bank of the Thames, and when | cam'
home the first thing / went to see wa
ours in Central park. "-Washingtoi
Post.
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04
ClRCUMSTANIlAl EVIDENCE.
Young Lady who Had n Narrow Escape
From Conviction.

From Conviction.
''Stories of conviction on circumstan-
tial evidence are rife in the lawbooks
and have afforded the plot of many a
novel;" said ]. S. Haberling of New
York. "A very sad case, not OF con-
viction, but almost as bad in its results,
occurred in New York recently. A
young lady of refinement, stranger i'll
the city. obtained employment as gov
erness in a gentleman, . i...nily. One OF
her pupils, a girl Is years old, lost q
diamond ring II was found in the
desk of the governess. She declared
she had not seen it since it was last on
the girl hand, but she was hustled off
to the Tombs, and unable to give bond
was kept there several days, exposed to
the companionship of the most deprayed
of her sex. She was taken to court In
the Block Maria with a negress and a
white = oman, both convicted felons, GO
ing to be sentenced. She was kept in
the pen waiting for her case to be called.
exposed to the impudent gaze OF the
horde of courtroom loafers.
when her case was called, the court
appointed lawyer to defend her, as she
was penniless. The prosecuting witness
and her father told the story of the find
ing Of the missing ring. The presump-
ton that the accused had placed il there
was more or less strong until the law
yer began to cross question the owner OF
the ring. Guessing at the truth, by
adroit QUESTIONING he drew from the
| unwilling witness the fact that she had
often pried into the desk and dressing
| case drawers of the governess, and that
she had been so engaged an hour or sc
before she missed her ring. and the fur
ther fact that the ring fitted loosely.
| The judge dismissed the case promptly,
and the accuser's father apologized, but
the young woman, being of highly
strung and nervors temperament, wa
completely prostrated by her terrible
experience in the TomhS, and the il
effects will, it i feared, be permanent
st Louis sGloDe-Democrat.
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04

ALDERMEN.
: FIRST ward-H. W. McIntire, c. s, Whitney.
econd Ward Chas. ONeal. W. H. Bullard
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04
TRAGEDIES ON ToMesToNEs.
English Churchyards and Their DeepI,
Craven Accusations of Murder.

English Churchyards and Iher Deepiy
Craven Accusations of Murder.
In the churchyards of Britain several
tombstones exist with the accusations
of murder deeply engraved upon them.
A stone over the grave of three children
in Merrington (Durham) churchyard
bears the following inscription:
Sleeping we were slain.
And here we sleep till we must rise again.
In Sandridge churchyard, Surrey, or
the tombstone of a custom house officer
who was shot in an encounter with
smugglers is the following:
Thou shalt do no murder. nor shalt thou steal
Are the commands Jehovah did reveal.
But thou. o wretch, without fear or dread
OF thy tremendous Maker. shot me dead.
On a stone in Cadoxton churchyard,
Glamorganshire, is inscribed the most
fearful accusation of murder to be found
ON any tomb in Great Britain:
ITO RECORD MURDER
"This stone was erected over the body
of Margaret Williams, aged 26, living
in service in this parish, who was found
dead with marks of violence upon her
in a ditch on marsh below this church
yard on the morning of Sunday, the
l4th July, 1922.
Although the savage murderer es-
capped for a season the detection of man,
yet God hath set his mark upon him
either for time or eternity, and the
cry of blood will assuredly pursue him
to certain and terrible but righteous
judgment.
A tombstone stood in Dulverton
churchyard a few years ago on which
was inscribed:
Poisoned by the doctor, neglected. by the nurse.
The brother robbed the widow. which made
the matter worse.
An accusation of murder appears on
the tomb of Edwin, the Irish comedian,
who was buried in st. Werburgh's
churchyard, Dublin, and also on tombs
to be found liz Acton churchyard, Glou.
cestershire; Hoo, near Rochester; Little
Stukeley, and Mytton, near Clitheroe,
Lancashire. London Tit Bits
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04
A Great Problem.

LAS we were going home from flying
his kite" said Mr. Bozzle. my young
son says to me 4 know how TO fly a
kite when there a good breeze, don't
I? and I sag. Surely, but ! do not say
10 him-why should I borden him with
such things now?-that anybody can dy
. kite when there's q breeze-that ths
ersss problem Of life Is 70 know how %
d. kite when there isn't any hsseDa I"
New York Sun.
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04

This Paper is kept on file at E. c. DAKEs
Advertising Agency, "a and 6s Merchant Fx-
hanse, San Francisco, Cal. where contrac
or advertising can be made
The Yellowstone journal., 1894-10-04
FEDERAL
DISTRICT.

Judge Seventh Judicial District
| -. Hon Geo. X Miburn, Miles City
-. -. Fred W. Kreidler. Miles City
The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-05-08
ABBOT AND BOWEN.


A Clumsy and Unscientihc Fight De-
clared Draw.
New ORLEANS. May 7.-Stanton Alb
bot OF England and Andy Bowen of New
Orleans fought for purse of s2500 al
the auditorium tonight, in the presence
OF 1000 people. The fight was for ten
rounds only, at the request OF Attorney
General Cunningham. The exhibition
was clumsy and unscientitic throughout.
Abbot disappointed the spectators By
the poor form he displayed throughout,
although the fight was fast and furious
at times.
From the first to the fifth rounds
Abbot had the best of the fighting,
landing some left.hsnd jabs with telling
effect.
Rounds five to nine Bowen evened mp
matters, and in the eighth round the
home man landed heavy right-hander
on the forehead and fairly knocked the
Englishman down. The latter recov-
cred quickly, and delivered some left
hand punches which did not do much
harm.
The tenth round was an exhibition of
fast fighting; both men landed many
blows without single scientific one. At
the end Of the tenth round the contest
was declared draw, and the purse
divided between the two fighters.
The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-05-08

A desultory and enormous reader of
plays and novels, with an impish hu-
NOR and facility and felicity of quota
ton which never deserted him under
the most terrific circumstances, Tones
style is throughout literary and in that
sense artificial, but he had passion for
facts and healthy determination to see
things as they really were. He is per-
fectly free from every kind of illusion,
delusion and humbug.
He is very much alive to the humor-
Gus side of all things, including him
self. The diaries are full of entries like
this:
81 cannot help this morning thinking
of Gil Bias when he was secretary to
the Duke Of Lerma. Yesterday l dined
with Catnot. Today should be puz-
zled to raise guinea"
Wolfe Tone at the bottom of his heart
was grave enough. His death is war
rant for this. But he belonged by the
order of his mind to the Knockers.
Tones widow, though she had doubt
less good deal to put up with, mourn
ed her husbands loss for II years, when
she married one who shared her venera-
ton for Tones memory. His son grew
up to be proud Of his fathers sufferings
in what he was taught to believe was
good cause. ireland has never forgotten
Tone and probably never will.-Con-
temporary Review.
The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-05-08
GR|FFO DECLARED THE WINNER
Billy Murphy Bested by the
Young I'm.
One of the Hardest Fights Ever
Seen IN Boston.
Stanton Abbot and Andy Bowen Fight
Clumsy Ten-Round Draw at
New Orleans-Other Sport
ing Events.


BY the Associated Press.
BosToN, May Tonight in one of the
hardest fights seen in Boston for long
time. Young Critic was declared the
winner over Billy Murphy at the end oil
the eighth round.
The men lost no time in getting to-
gether after the call. Murphy was the
first to lead, landing a light one upon
CRITICS nose. They came together at
once in a rapid exchange, Critic landing
his right twice lightly on Murphy e
eye. 1t was an even thing to end OF the
round.
The second round was warm. Muir
ply let go his right again, but this time
the black-haired boy was too quick for
him and put in his right ON Billy's
stomach. 1t was give and take for the
next few minutes, with the odds in favor
OF Murphy. Critic secured first blood,
landing his left on Murphy's nose with
good effect.
Murphy seemed tired when the men
responded for the third round. and
Critic went at him with view to fin
leAiuk HlIn. hutpht wow w II ~ AAooo
from right handler on the jaw, but was
up at once and hot at it. Murphy man
aged to get in few good ones on Grit
foe stomach.
Critic got ia his lett twice in rapid
succession in the fourth. and the blood
began to flow down Murphy's cheek.
Critic was doing all the leading, while
Murphy seemed content to wait.
The fifth and sixth rounds were warm
once. Although both men landed many
blows, neither of them had the strength
to floor his opponent.
In the seventh, Murphy did get his
right in on Critics neck, but the blow
glanced off.
The eighth and last round was try
ing one for Critic. but he kept his head
we'll and let Murphy tire himself out.
Murphy had q do or die" expression
en- his face when the men were called to
the center. He made straight for
CRITICS body and succeeded in getting
in q few hot ones while the latter
was thinking about 1t. He next landed
his left on CRITICS. face, and to many it
seemed as il the little fellow was getting
careless. He recovered himself, how
ever, and in the last few minutes got in
q few good ones on the body and one on
the face. The men shook hands and
the referee, Mr. Daily, gave the bout to
Critic, amid Kisses and cheers. The
pair met in the casino before $500 spec
tatorH.
The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-05-08
NATIONAL PAsTIME.
Res ults OF Yesterdays Gameso League
DiEmondg.

Results OF Yestsrdey's Gameso n League
DismondS.
PITTsBURG, May THE visitors had
little trouble in defeating the home
team today. They knocked Nichol and
Gumbert out of the box and batted
Knells delivery all over the field. At
tendance, $500.
Pittsburg, g.; base bits, 8; errors, 4.
Cincinnati, II; base hits, 20; err
rors, 4,
Batteries-Nichol. Gumbert; Knsll
and Sugden; Vaughan and PARROT.
LOUISVILLE, May 7.-Both Strstton
and Breitenstein were hit hard today,
but the St. Louis twirler received the
beat support.
Louisville, 6; baes hits. 10; errors, 8 i.
st. Louis. 8; base hits, IA; errors, /.
MISREPRESENTATION and Grim Brett
enstein and Brown.
CLEVELAND. May 7.-Anson's Colts
were an easy mark for the Olevelande
today. The visitorH could not hit
Young.
Cleveland z; base hits IA, errors 0.
Chicago /; base hits 5, errors Z.
Batteries-Y eung and thinner; Nc
Gill and Schriver.
New York, May Two errors by
Ward ia the first inning let in one run,
which decided the game.
Boston, l base hits, g; errorB, 8.
New York, 0; base hits, 3; errors, 6.
Observation-Disclosures and Ryan; Rusle
and Farrell.
PHILADELPHIA, May 7.-Philadelphia
made fne rally at the bat in the ninth
The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-05-08
ALL TAKEN OUT ALIVE.
TRAVELLERS SAVED FROM A TER.
RIBLE FATE.
Seven Tourists Imprisoned in n Cave In
aAustria Eight Dnys-AH Res
cued After Given Up
for Lost.

GRATz, Austria, May IA diver to-
! day reached seven tourists imprisoned
in stalactile cavern at Souraich since
Saturday, April 10Th, owing to sudden
rise of water and the passage becoming
blocked with timber and bouldsrs.
They were all alive.
The news OF the tourists, WHO have
been go long imprisoned, being still
alive, caused the utmost satisfaction
among the crowds of people whe gath
cred about the cavern in order to
watch the work of the en-
gineers who have been telling
night and day, ever since they
were ordered to the spot, when tho
local authorities announced their in
ability to force an entrance into the
cavern. The engineers had very dill =
cult task in making an opening into the
cavern. The entrance was blocked
by timber, boulders and foodbsrs
1t was absolutely necessary to
use dynamite in order to clear
away the distractions which pre-
vented the entrance of ciVer into the
cGve. The engineers were compelled to
NOIk GlONiy anu WIN bn0 uO1AObI Cdu-
ton, as ii was feared that too severe
explosion might bury the imprisoned
people beneath tons of rock.
When the debris had been cleared
away and all was ready for another at
tempt, Diver Fisher made another at.
tempt and this time succeeded in de-
acending into the mouth of the cave. He
notified the engineers that although the
tourists were alive they appeared like
people hall bereft of reason the terri
bic nervous strain which they had
suffered had almost driven them mad,
The tourists must have taken a coIsid-
cradle supply of proviBions when they
went into the cavern, over week ago,
as they still had. according to the diver,
little bread and cheese left, and they
had some candles burning.
The i'm priaoned tourists informed the
diver they had passed through period
of moat awful anxiety and terror. They
had been able to hear the attemptsto
rescue them, but the work seemed to
progress 40 slowly that they had almost
abandoned hope. The noiee made by
the explosion of the dynamits cheered
up the Imprisoned people, though they
were in dread of being buried beneath
the falling rock.
Late in the afternoon the rescue was
completed. Six of the tourists were
able to emerge from the cave unaided,
but the soventh wac SO exhausted that
be required assistance. Emperor Fran
els Joseph WAS notified of the tourists
safety and telsgraphed his extreme sat
isfMction.
LONDON, May IA dispatch to the
Times from Vienna SAYS WHEN cOnnec-
ton was made with the entombed tour
ists they shouted: 1--WE are all alive and
we'll and still have provisions"
As soon as possible milk and brandy
in bottles were handed to them through
small opening, and they were asked
to withdraw as far 90 they could to
allow further blasting. The rescued
men state that a box of provisions,
which Was sent by the rescuers through
the water, reached them Oh Wednesday
last, and kept them alive. They heard
the blasting and this renewed their
hopes OF rescue.