The Wichita daily eagle., 1894-02-02
GIRLS DIDN'T COME
P0NCA OITY'S MATRIMONIAL
SCHEME FALLS FLAT.
Its Representative Meets With Hair.
Raising Experiences in Massa-
chusetts and is Put to 1g-
noble Flight by Just
Two Women.

Two W OIHeu.
sIf Ponca City wants any marriageabl
young women" said Oscar Mills, at rh
Carey last evening, 1T Will have to get
them without my help"
Mr. Mills. it will be remembered, essay
ed the task of visiting Massachusetts, and
securing a number of eligible young
women.
1t seems that manageable young women
in Ponca City are scarce. Mr.. Mills plan
was to visit the overcrowded manufactur.
ing cities of the east and iuducs the par
ents of large families of young ladies to
locate in Ponca City. In that way the
society of the Oklahoma city would be
greatly enhanced.
From the volcanic way in which he
erupted puffs of cigar smoke last night
and the evident stamp of disgust on his
face, 1t was plain that he had not met
with success.
"Yon visited Massachusetts. Mr.. Mills?'
"Yes. did. But 1 am not going to
talk about it."
"Wnat city did you experiment upon?" "
Il don't see any good in telling, but
will-Lowell."
'.What was your first step towards
securing young ladies?"
Now see here. / am not going to talk. +"
'Some irate brother knocked you down
for your trouble?"
''No that didn't happen"
1T was not pleasant experiment at
any ratef"
mo. 1t wasn't. I suppose I'll have to
tell you. When l got to Lowell. J. mu st
have dropped some inkling of my mission,
for the very next morning, l received a
caro- at my room in the hotel. l went
down to the parlor and met the worst
dried up and wrinkled old maid you ever
saw
'Mr. Mills" she said. 81 am so glad to
to meet you. l do so much admire west
erners."
Thank you." said, backing away
from her.
And l hear Mr.. Mills, that you have
come here to get some volunteers to go
out on the great plains and become the
pioneer women to gladden. the hearts of
the rugged heroes of the limitless prairies
Oh, how NIGEL" she ratified on.
iOlu ItT budt was my MISSION.
"Oh, you dear western menv she ex-
claimed, touching me coyly on the arm
You are so frank, so honest, SO truep'
Thank you," said, getting scared
81 would just he delighted to co." she
went on.
But"
Now, haven't you got dark man out
there with piercing black eyes?"
Probably. but"
''Oh. 1 do so adore piercing black eyes
and am"
But"
Don't bother about me, Mr. Mills /
am all ready to go. l can start this even
ing. Or. will wait for you"
But"
"Oh. do excuse me. Mr.. Mills. am so
impei uous."
M ,dam," l said, fairly gasping, "the
pioneers desire young ladies'"
"Sir-rr-rrl' she screamed, "do you
mean 20 insult me?H
mo, not at all. But Ponca City wants
young ladies'
You brute! You scoundreli I'll expose
you'll Pll turn you over to the police
That's what Pll do'' And she proceeded
out of the room as mad as wet hen.
Mr. Mills turned white while he WAS
telling the experience. Then he contin-
ued.
'Fifteen minutes later | received
another card This time the caller was a
kind faced, gentle old lady, and couldn't
imagine what WAS up. Did she want to 60
west, too
''Oh, Mr.. Mills" she said. 81 have just
learned your mission i'll Lowell, and am
SO agitated | can scarcely know what to
say"
i waited.
You can not be the bad man they say
you are. Why, why do you want SO
manyY'
Are you speaking of young ladies,
madam"
Yes, yes-O depraved man 1t is then
rue. Repent, repent ere 1t is too late
Would you blight so many young lives 81
Madam, the men of the west make
trne loving husbands"
''No. no. They cannot. Polygamy is
curse"
"Polygamy9 madam. l have nothing to do
with polygamy."
You are not from Utah?"
NO"
You are not a Mormon agentf'
Great Heavens, no!'
With one bound l made through the
door, paid my bill, grabbed my grip.
jumped on the next train aud came back
west. / had had enough.
That is why" concluded Mr.. Mills, II
Say that Ponca City will hereafter take
care OF its own matrimonial enterprise"