The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-08-11


Heat the hop Tuesday an opal
pendant was worn by Mrs. Stoutly.
suspended by fine gold chain.
She-I shouldn't have supposed q
fine gold chain would hold her.
EVIDENTLY TRUE STORY.
John" said the wife to herself,
as she proceeded TO disrobe her hus-
band, who had gone TO bed with his
boots on, John told me he had
studied for the bar in his youth /
can we'll believe it, for / think he
knows every bar in town. - New
York Press.
UTILIZING HIS GIFT.
What became OF that boy Of yours
with the powerful voice, who was to
study elocution and prepare himself
for the stage?"
That project fell through"
Has he been able to utilize his
gift at all?"
"Oh, yes; it got him position.
''Of what nature?"
He is selling circus lemonade. -
New York Press.
IN JAPAN.
Japanese Secretary-You say you
want TO serve us?
American-Yes, sire
And you are from the United
States?"
~ am sire %
And you understand military
matters?"
"As book, sire !"
What military service have you
seen in America that would make
you valuable to us?"
"I'm n pension Attorney, sire ~
- Cleveland Plain Dealer.
THE WELCOME VISITOR.
She did not love him, she, the beau.
tiful daughter of merchant prince.
Yet her heart was tender and she
knew that to love is to be happy.
He had been coming to the house
every day for four years, and she was
always glad to see him, and many,
many times she had run joyfully to
the door to meet him.
The human heart knoweth it's own
mystery.
He was the mail carrier and he had
wife and eight children.-[ Detroit
Free Press.
ROMANCE THAT COST.
Marie and George have quarreled,
you know. He told her one night
that when he was out Of town he al
ways felt as though he would give
$40 for just a word with her"
"Well?"
"And so the next time he did
leave town she put him to the test
by calling him up on long-distance
telephone and making him pay the
bill. - Chicago Record.
THE ONLY THING NEEDED.
Six-year-old Alice, travelling on the
cars, regarded a fat lady near her so
long and so earnestly that the lady
remarked pleasantly, at last: ''Well,
my dear, what do you think of me?"
II think, replied Alice, that you
|, would be very nice-looking lady il
you could only be slimmed a little. 4"
youths Companion.
HIS OBJECTION.
How do you like the young wo.
man from Boston," asked the young
mans sister.
"Oh, very we'll Only she uses
such big words. l gave her flower
and she wouldn't call it by anything
but its scientific name"
But you always liked botany"
1T wasn't her botany | objected
TO. 1t was her haughty-culture. -
Washington Star.
TO BE CONGRATULATED.
Teacher-For what were the an.
cient Romans remarkable?
Dick Hicks - They understood
Latin.
on WITH THE BALL.
Arizona Pete--I should like very
much TO 90 to the dance with you,
but, you see, | didn't come dressed
| for il.
Fevclothes - Never mind that,
partner, | can let you have IA couple
OF guns.
1T WAS HER FAULT.
A little boy, after helping himself
several times 10 water, finally upset
the glass, upon which his mother ex-
claimed impatiently:
My son, | knew you were going
to do that.
We'll. mother, il you had only
told me in time | would not have
done it," said the boy. Philadel-
phia Times.
HOT WEATHER WISH.
Oh, for q lodge in wilderness
OF icebergs, ten miles high,
And snow so deep that a man could
sleep
On top OF il next 20 the sky.
Oh. for polar sea in town,
Where a man could swim all day