The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17
"RUMPHl"
Thrilling Rescue of a Bicycle Girl Who
Hadn't Learned How to Stop.

Thrilling Rescue of Bicycle Girl Who
Hadn't Learned How to Stop.
The shades of night were getting in
their work, and the peace of righteous
community was filtering through the
atmosphere. Brown and Jones were en-
joying their last cigars and conversing
on stocks. There is nothing frivolous
or flighty about Brown and Jones.
Suddenly there came a swish of fem
inine skirts, slzurry of bicycle, and
through the darkened air shrill wall
faltered, "Oh, won't you please help
me?' Then bicycle at full tilt sped
across the street crossing, and Brown
and Jones stared at each other aghast.
"O-o-oohW half cried the voice Of
the disappearing rider.
"What in thunder does she want help
about?" gasped Jones'
"She wasn't tipping overl' cried
Brown.
''Her wheel was all right"
"No one was pursuing''--
"Help!" floated back to the crossing.
With one wild gush of alarm, two ci-
gars were flung to destruction, and two
reputable citizens went spinning down
Lake avenue. Never since their college
DAYS have Jones and Brown made run
ming record like the one credited to that
nights performance, with movable
goal for an object One block, two blocks,
~ blocks, and then the fleeing wheel
with its sobbing rider came in view
With an extraordinary squirt Brown
and Jones caught up, grabbed the hau-
die bars and stopped the wild progress
Of the modern Flying Dutchman.
"What"- began Jones. How
gasped Brown, who was stout and un-
pleasantly conscious Of something ridic-
ulous in tho whole proceeding
"Oh," quavered the feminine rider,
who was not young and not fair. "oh,
how can ever thank you? Oh, my
goodness, what scare! can ride, you
know-just learned-but / can't turn
round, and | can't mount, and | can't
stop my wheel, and was getting far.
ther away from home every minute,
and, oh, dear, what would l have done
if
Jones coughed. In her excitement the
distressed lady was reposing against his
shirt front. 1t was fresh shirt front,
and her act disturbed him.
Shall we get you started for homer
queried Brown, who always had pres
ence of mind.
"Oh, if you would" said the dis
tressed lady, and then the two reputable
citizens put her on her wheel, turned
it around, pushed her half a block and
saw her disappear in the darkness, leav
ing trail Of inarticulate gasps, thanks,
protests and eXclamations in her wake.
Silence fell over Lake avenue. Brown
and Jones stuffed their handkerchief
into their collars and looked at each
other meditatively. Suddenly Brown
went into convulsions. He grabbed
Jones' arm.
How" he suffered, chow, l say,
is that fool woman going to stop whe1
she does get homer"
Then they sat down on the curbstont
to recover and incidentally to calculate
whether the woman who hadn't learn
cd how to make the wheel stop going
round would eventually reach the nortl
pole or be drowned in Lake Superior.
"And yet" Brown says scornfully
when he tells the adventure, "yet some
misguided mortals claim that womel
have sense enough to vote and decide
the fate of the nation. Humphr'
The way he says "humph" makes
the hearer wither right away-if TIT
hearer is woman. Chicago News.