The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-06-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

What is life but great cake-walk.-
Galveston News.
When q man is the slave of gold, he
is serving pretty hard master.
When genius attains to a dress-suit
It has become celebrity.
Some clocks strike ten when it is
only six. 1t is the same way with
many men.
"Business" covers a multitude of
transactions just out of reach of the
law. Puck.
A woman is never so likely to be
mistaken as when she is perfectly sure
she is right.
The angler is so absorbed in his
hobby that he generally fishes with
baited breath.
Good cooks can make pie of every
thing, from beefsteak to vinegar
Atchison Globe.
Hannibal succeeded in crossing the
Alps; but he didn't have any hotel
bills to pay.--Puck.
A good resolution is supposed to be
necessary. Galveston News
"You say he is q bad egg. How did
you find it out?" "He showed it the
moment he was broke. Fun.
1t is is easy for man to paddle his
own canoe when his parents buy the
canoe and paddle for him. Puck.
When hearts are broken, as we find
| They are by wooers rash,
To heal them over, neatly bind
In poltices Of cash.
Washington Star.
When the pot calls the kettle black,
the kettle fearlessly demands an in
vestigation of the color of the pot
Puck.
It is better to walk and catch the
next ferry-boat than to run for dear
life and miss the one that is just start
ing.-Puck.
Hardup is q pretty decent sort Of
chap, but he never sticks to anything"
"Did you ever lend him any money!
Philadelphia Record.
The star of hope may shine over
head, but we feel more security when
we can get her anchor planted safely
in the mud below.-Puck.
Johnny" said the teacher, sis
iackass biped or quadruped?"
''Please, sir, said Johnny, that de-
pends on the iackass. Life.
Lena-"She would be better of
without her husband, wouldn't she"
Laura-'T should say so. His life is
insured for $40, 600. Truth.
When a man begins to remark how
different children are now from what
they were when he was n boy, he may
look for gray hairs in his head.-Puek.
Little drops Of water.
Little grains OF soap
Make the active Anarchist.
Get right up and slope.
Washington Star.
Hotel Proprietor don't allow
any games of chance here" Gamb-
ler-"This isn't game of chance. My
friend here has no chance. Brook
lyn Life.
Clara -"What, are you reading,
now?" Dora" Historical novels. "
'Do you like them?" Eyes, indeed.
There is so much l eau skip. New
York Weekly.
"Where is the bearded lady, asked
the manager. "1t is time for the show
TO begin" "He went out to vote, "
explained the ossifed man. Indiana
] polls Journal.
The Specialized Girl--"Have you
read Ships That Pass in ths Night 2"
The Auburn. haired Girl-"No. What
kind are they-courtships" s"-lndian-
apolis journal.
First Lady-"And the last thing
! that Henry did was TO give me a kiss. "
Second Lady-'Indeed; l should
think that is about the last thing he
would do. "--Tid-Bits.
''Miss Twilkins has gone to Europe
TO cultivate her voice. "Dear me
didn't know she could afford it.
"The neighbors subscribed the
money. Washington Star.
, Patient 81 am troubled with in
somnia. What would you recommead?'
Doctor-''A good, refreshing sleep
seven nights in the week. Five dol
{ lars, please. Boston Transcript.
= Haven't you made Mr. Buls ger,
portrait Soou zeal more thhn lltt
' size?' said one artist - another
4 "Perhaps. You see, that's as big a.
3 he thinks he is Washington Star
. "Did you tell the hired girl that you
wouldn't put up with her work?' aske
Mr.. Simmins at the dinner table
"Yes. "What did che say?" "Sh,
said that there was nothing keeping
me here if l didn't like the place. -
Washington Star.
Elderly Maiden-"rh;s is 50 unex
, pected, Mr.. Wellalong, hat thai
, you must give me time. Elderl!
: Lover Time, Miss Rebecca? l.,
you think there is any TO spare? ~
/, Tit-Bitr
! Ahable Swell Well, the fact 's
- my name is not Smithson You gee
a am travelling ineog There's M
card" Fellow Passenger -"Glad e
hear It. I'm travelling in pickles
Here's mine - Brooklyn Life,