The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-07-08

I
anything in petticoats. have had GER
\ tain respect for women who could go into
the mountains hunting snakes, and then
| have the skins hung up in their libraries
at home, but / don't think | could ever
love woman like that. She is decidedly
superior; she is like those people that
mosquito never bites, who are not afraid
| To crush the life out of black beetle, and
who wonder where the gnats are that you
! complain Of.
THE PERFECT MAN AND WOMAN.
Superior people have a tendency to
make the rest of the world so wicked
that it will long to 90 where everybody
is on Level, and where ice water is not
served l once lived in a house with a
superior woman, and she downed me
about hundred times a day. If l gig
| gled just because l was glad about some
| thing, / would hear her talking to her
neighbOr about laughs with no express
| sion in them. If | talked over a novel
with man, she would put up her glasses
! and eye me and wonder why somebody
didn't improve my mind. She was so
! superior herself that she disapproved Of
! everybody But she rather lost her
hold, for she married a minister with
| two sets Of twins and he is always spoken
Of as Miss Baytree's husband" He told
| her he never knew what love was until
| his head rested on her bosom, and she
! said, mo, Richard, do not speak oft vet
as love, but respect" And then, Richard,
who thought he had said something very
| clever, began TO realize what he had taken
unto himself. She shaves him now and
| makes his ties out of pieces of her
| dresses. He has o look as If he had got
! ten used 10 it and didn't mind. The twins
are being raised in a superior manner,
| and from what see OF them | think they
will be graduates in crime some day.
NEVER NET SUPERIOR MAN.
once met very, very good one. He
| used to play on the melodeon of Sunday
! afternoon until frisky girl told him that
! everybody wanted a nap at that time,
! and that his music disturbed them. After
this, he got to looking at that girl, and
| though she bleached her hair a little and
| wore hats that could not be called truly
| good, still he fell in love with her and
married her, and / believe they are very
happy. So, you see, even a very, very
| good man can be led from the melodeon
| to matrimony by a bloude-haired girl.
! The melodeon is not a favOrite instru-
ment of mine. 10 has a sort of lost-sOul
sound peculiar to itself. And then, too,
the people who play it always come down
! on IL as II the keys had done them a per-
| sonal injury, and they desire TO whack it
| out. There may be something very virtu-
| Gus about the melodeon, but for melody
! it doesn't compare with the banjo, while,
! as for sweetness, even the piano is better
| ! say, even the piano; that is, because I
! live under a much-worked one, which
is tuned up early In the
morning, and Is performed upon for
about three hours, gives us another dose
in the afternoon, and then in the evening
| about half-past 10, starts in and does
really hard work until about |. l don't
think we would mind so much if the girl
knew many tunes, but she don't run to
tunes. She knows three different opuses
or whatever you call them, and the Car
nival of Venice The opuses, rs far as
can make Thorn out, consist of a high
! thump, then a quaver, then three thumps
In rapid succession, and then meander-
ing over all the keys of the piano as if to
see whether each one was in order. This
may be high art, but l wish it were on
the floor under me instead of over me. for
then | could appreciate it better. Curl
Gus, how distance. does lend enchantment
to great many things.
MIDSUMMER WEATHER AND WOES.
When your mail is delivered to YOU
nowadays, don't most of the letters COM
mence, II think, If anything, it is hotter
to-day than it was yesterday and then
the four pages are devoted to the weather
as 1t is as it is remembered, and as it is
! likely to be- There is a beautiful monot-
ony about ones friends opinion in black
and white, and unless there is u post
script saying, "The dog died Yesterday"
when you have read one letter you have
read all. 1t is queer, but what else
can be expected in a country that is so
weather stricken} We can't have a uice,
amiable summer day with cool evening
oh, no! we have to turn in and run up
into the nineties, and then when the
evening comes, career up to about one
hundred and eight, which means no
sleep. And so we go along. Well, you
see, am just like the rest My letter is
about the weather and it's woes. The
only difference is that where the others
are signed "affectionately'' and faith
fully" and"cordiauy," l am, truthfuly
yours, BAB.