Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-01-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY. I,

The maids of old were not necessarily
old maids. Halo.
Cold weather doesn't seem to nip the
society bud. Puck.
The trouble with the love of bon
net is the hats of a bill.
Some men aim SO high that their
arrows cut nothing but the air.-Puck.
The great trouble with the budding
genius is that he usually nipped in the
bud.
"How strangely Putter acts! Isn't
he little OFF," "No, but the market
is. Boston Transcript.
When a minister is installed there is
a charge to the people. and paying his
salary is sanother one. Lowell Courier.
IT like this hat" said Isabel.
''It makes my face look long and we'll
But when dear father saw the bill
1t made his face look longer STILL"
Puck.
Time is money, they say. And it
has been noticed that it takes good
deal OF money to have good time. -
Truth.
A man is much like razor, because
you can't tell how sharp he can be un-
til he is completely strapped. Texas
Siftings.
See that man yonder?'' eyes"
"Been in Congress ten years. !" whats
his record?" "Ten Years l'-Atlanta
Constitution.
1t surely must be safe to say,
Without the least transgression. -
That he who 'gives himself away =
Has lost his self-possession. :
-Raymond's Monthly.
''Methinks | scent the morning air, "
remarked the swell collector, as he
drove down Main street at a. m.--
Buffalo Courier.
Secret societies have charms that
are especially attractive to the man
who likes to make gaudy display on
his watch-chain. Puck.
He-''Did you say the furniture
was Louis XIV?" She-"Yes. Why?"
He-"The bills suggest the Reign of
Terror. Beau Monde.
"What big hill I am getting to
be-" said the ambitious ridge of dirt
near the river. But it was only
bluff. Chicago Tribune.
II would not live Away" he sang,
The notes he loved to frame; -
But he wore chest protector and
His gum shoes, just the same,
Washington Star
Blood may be thicker than water,
but did any one know a girl who would
not steal her brothers cigars to give
to some one else ?--Truth
Geopge-''You would marry the big
gest fool in the world if he asked you,
wouldn t you?" Ethel-"Oh, George,
this is so sudden. Vogue.
Tramp Madam, I was not always
thus" Madam-''No. 1t was your
other arm you had in sling this
morning. Detroit Tribune.
When you are buying horse don't
consult pedestrian, and when you
are courting woman don't ask advice
ofa bachelor. -Hawkinsville Dispatch.
There is this singularity about pho.
tographs. pretty picture is invari-
ably ''the perfect image of her, while
a poor picture doesn't look n bit
like her. Boston Transcript.
The Gar cried boldly ''give US peacer'
The Frenchman cried ''ofcourse ~
Then, each one fastened to increase
His land and naval force.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss Manhattan (maliciously "YoW
must miss the dear old London fogs
very much" Lord Tutfnutt (lottily)!
IL do. But I am partially compen-
sated by your charming New York
mud Vogue.
''What is the difference between
the ancient Romans and the modern
Americans?" Give it up" "The
Romans used to Urn their dead, while
the Americans have to earn their liv-
ing. Texas Siftings.
The rain came down in torrents,
With splishy-splashy swash.
And it soaked the foolish fellow x
Who had soaked his macintosh. v
Washington News.
''My friend" said the solemn old
gentleman, ''to what end has your life
work been directed T. $50 the head
end, murmured the barber, and then
silence fairly poured. Itdidn't merely
reign. gn.-Indianapolis Journal.