davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
COULD NOT ORDER A DINNER.
This Man Could Crack Legal Nuts but DO
Not Know What lie Wanted to Eat.

Some men do not know what they
want To eat until they see what another
man has ordered | saw one OF these
men i'm "A downtown restaurant the
other evening. | was the only other
patron in the place at that hour Ny
order for l;tte supper had Just been
taken bv the waiter.
The man was warmly welcomed by
waiter. who saw another chance Tor
tin. and tried to draw the newTNmer
over to a cosey corner near window.
He moved steadily toward my place,
brushing the waiter aside At the chair
opposite me the man paused and pre-
pared to sit down.
you can't sit there if the gentleman
objects" said the waiter, as he placed
his hand on the chair
But the gentleman hasn't objected,
has hep" demanded the stranger.
Then he asked me if | objected to ms
taking the seat told him there was
no objection and he took the chair. lie
was LARGE man. well dressed and fifty
wears old. Taking up the bill OF fare,
! he ran through it, studied it awhile ana
laid il down. He looked toward the
door through which the walters came
took up the bill of fare again ana put IL
down again with sigh.
The waiter who had met him stood
closely watching him. He seemed to
fear there was something wrong with
the man. After a pause the stranger
took up the bill of fare again. Tins
time he studied il with greater care thar
ever. Then he began TO give his or
der. 1t was an elaborate one. The
mans appetite seemed to grow a IN
eyes ran down the card He started II
with roast beef. took bit of CHECKER
and some mutton with these he order
ed a half dozen kinds of vegetables. an,
. and so on down the list he ran, WIND
inc up with pudding and pie.
The order wa, such an eXtraordlnar.
one that the waiter appeared to hes
tate about filling il.
whats the matter with you?" grow
ed the man. Don't YOU think ca
; pay for it?" =,
j Without stopping to explain the wait
o or hurried away. Five minutes late
Il my own order was served. There va
II an enticng odor from the steak, who
> was the principal feature OF IT, IN;
V caused ne to forget the man opposite
l. i was sui tdllu1 ItlSul'iN 49, -
r. strangers dinner was brought i'll. liner
II was hardly room for it on the table.
. The stranger showed at once that h
= didn't care for what he had ORDERED
liz nibbled "A little and put it all aside
- Meanwhile | had eaten all the steak
y wished and pushed the rest OF 1t asid
10 DO YOU care for any more OF I'M
ii steak?" asked the man.
l. was greatly surprise but told III
re | did not. Then he rea ned torwar
1t took what | had left ate and SCENE
o, to enjoy it, | did not eat all OF II
tn dessert. but the man finished 1t. W IA
Us my cheese came | ate part of 1t, ana
Sc asked for the rest. Then came my
ty of coffee.
C. MAY have cup of that coffee
il asked the stranger. 81 have orc "
10 tea and hate it" he said. 81 can Il
:, YOU all about abstracts of title and g
10 crack a great many legal nuts, but l
-, - a blamed fool when ! get a bill OF Ia
:. in my hands"
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
A Household Treasure.

d. w. Fuller. Canaiohare. y. Y. says
that he always keeps Dr. Kings New Dis
covery in the house and his family has
always found the very best results follow
its use that he would not be without it, il
procuraLle G. A. Dykeman Druggist,
Catskill, y. Y, says that Dr. King, New
Discovery is undoubtedly the best Cough
lemedv: that he hes used 1t in his family
for eight %
DO all tha y
"A rem Il" rial
bottle free at b. :. Webbs Drug oto.e e..
Regular size SOC and Il 90.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
SOME OF OUR MILLIONAIRES

II is announced that William wal
dorf Aston. who loses IS goo a month |
a month on his periodical, The Pail
Mall Magazine, has become a British |
citizen. II is also announced that GER
tain other Of our American ruling fani- |
lies now in Europe have decided that
they will never return TO this country
TO live d Their home is in New York,
but their complaint is that New York
never does anything TO MAKE life
pleasant for these many millione q;
therefore they won't live in America
any more. The principal reason they
think they are unkindly treated APP
pears TO be that New York has been
yainly trying for years to make some
Of them pay their taxes. This i, too
bad. New York ought TO remit their
taxes for the honor Of having our
American nobility live there. More
than that. it ought to institute con-
slant round of strawberry and ice
cream festivals and baseball games in
I their honor and invite them free. II
ought to sit up nights thinking of ways
to amuse them and pet them. We owe
everything to our milionaires, we do,
in this country. The only trouble Is
that we do not properly appreciate
them. When that beggarly Batten-
berg finally makes up his mind which
American millionaire's daughter he Will
marry, and when the rest of them buy
their deer parks and London houses
and get regularly into the swim witt
British nobilities and royalties. per
haps we will think more Of them ant
. begin 70 wake up to the beauty ant
brains that are lost 10 Us forever more
May be they will buy up some titles o
nobility, and then we shall know ant
e be sure what rare spirits have yanishe
=, from our midst.
One thing we are certain Of no"
d ever. and that little fact leaves rs nc
: wholly disconsolate. We know the
r will draw their money regularly ffoi
; this country. We are still good enoug
Il TO pay rents 10 our millionaircs an
q furnish the material for the their COZ
; pom cutting. Meantime, if eight pee
Il pie do frequently live in one room
- the cities whence our noble mlllonalr
Il derive their revenues, and if doz'
l. people are sometimes reported in Oh
" morning paper as having commIt''
IL suicide because they cannot pay re-
and have nothing to eat besides, WIN
- does that matter? What right ha
they to disturb the good times OF o
IT, millionares abroad by making su
or unpleasant items in the mornll
~ papers? And let the Americans st
at at once trying to take care OF tn
e, suffering poor these times and go
~ work and make the country pleasa
for our millionaires to live in Sa
ne nav Evening News
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
Open for Season 1894.

On Monday May 9Th the old reliable De
troit Grand Haven and Milwaukee R'y, will
issue It's summer time card, showing the fast
steamboat express trains. No. II east and No.
II west. running through 10 Grand Haven
connecting with its fine line Of steamers fox
Milwaukee and the Northwest These
trains are run daily Sunday excepted and
have Wagner Parlor Buffet car attached,
the charge being only 20 cents extra for any
distance Fine lunches and refreshments
are served at reasonable prices. The Good
rich line of steamers now leave Muskegon at
G30 p. IN. and Grand Haven 800 p. m, for
Chicago daily except Saturday arriving at
Chicago about 600 a. m. Supper Is served
on the Goodrich steamers Berths to Mill
waukee or Chicago are free to passengers
holding first class tickets For those going
west or northwest these are the bonner
summer routes---you avoid the heat and dust
of a long rail journey and enjoy a cool nights
rest on these palatial steamers. Fares are
always a. low and in most instances lower
than by all rail lines. Further information
may be obtained by addressing any Of the
! agents of these companies. $50 3p-t
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
TESTIMONIALS.

/ have been constant user of tobacco,
both smoking and chewing, for ten (l0)
years. and after using less than one bottle OF
Britton's Tobacco Thief / am cured Of tho
habit. ". ". TOWNSEND,
Hubbar1ston, Mich.
| have used tobacco for - yeas, and after
taking Britton'7 Tobacco Thief tor SIX weeks
consider myself perfectly cured / bought 2i
cents worth of tobacco the same time that
BrittOn gave me the medicine and after
taking two or three chews OF tobacco ! gave
il away and have not touched II since. / cor
slider Britton's Tobacco thet the Jim COrbe6
of all the tobacco cures.
MoNT SpAUIDIug. Pewamo, Mich.
took my first chew Of tobacco in 1861 and
have used ii continually every since that
time. Dec. %, 1893. | received a package OF
| Britton's Tobacco Thief and commenced 10
! take it, and continued chewing hut two or
three days, when | wanted II no more, and
| am now completely cured and realize that
! II will save me great amount Of money be-
! sides breaking me of filthy habit
Yours Resp, FRED *. BURHANs,
S20tl3-p3 Portland, Mich.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
A Happy suggestion.

Fred haven't seen you dancing
once tonight. Miss Backbay (pretty,
but Bostonesey) No, | don't approve
of the practice of hugging in puohc;;
Fred-Oh, see. ah-would You nina
taking stroll into the conservatory
with meP- brooklyn Eagle.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
AGAINST IMPROVED HIGHWAYS.
Arguments Showing That the Agitation
For Gnnd Roads Is All WRONG.

This agitation in favor of good roads
is all wrong What good is it going 70
do the farmers anyhow:
Suppose they should make his wagons
and harness last longer, what Will be-
come Of the poor wagon and harness
makers: Are they not to be taken INTO
consideration?
Doesn't it say III the good book
"Live and let livc:'
Then the horses What II they 90
have to work hard and pull and tug and
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
Tobacco Thief

Tobacco Thief is permanent and guaran-
teed cure for the Tobacco Habit IN all 10
forms. IL invigorates a. well a. regenerates
the whole nervous system. Every bottle Is
wrapped with sight draft. which will Toe posi-
lively be paid IN every case where Tobacco
Thief fails 10 cure Two bottles are guaren-
teed Less than one often cures. Price 81
per bottle. Liberal discount TO dealers.
NJ. A. BkIIION, Drugg Il,
PeWamO Mich
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

Not one complaint has ever been made by
those using Ayers Sarsaparilla according To
directions Furthermore, We have yet 20
learn of case In which 1t has failed 10 az
ford benefit. 81 say hundreds Of druggists
all over the country. Has cured other, VIII
cure you.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

THE BEST SANE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises. Sores, Ulcers, salt kheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands. Chllblains,
Corns, and all SKIN Eruptons, and positively
cures Piles, or no pay required. 1t Ia
guaranteed to- give perfect satisfaction or
money refunded. Price % cents per BOX.
For Sale by b. 5. Webb.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

LATE advices indicate that the Chi
nese have been victorious in two great
battles. The city of Chung Ho is now
in their hands, and they are now rapid
" advancing to the capital OF Korea
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

yon cannot say that You have tried every
thing for your rheumatism until You nave
taken Ayers Pill. i'7ndreds have been
cured of Ills con plant 10y ,he use of these
p,rs aIore They we're admitted on exhi-
hilton at th. Worlds Fair as standard ca
thartic.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

"Phwat's that noise. Mis- Mullaly p
MARY AIMS phractisin' the scales.
"Begorrah, she must weigh IA tom -
Judge.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

In matter nature allows no atom to
elude its grasp; in mind, no Thought or
feeling To perish. 1t gathers up the frsg-
ments that nothing be lost.-Thomas
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

Wor. comes from all quarters that the
neatest aud most satisfactory dye for color
ing the beard brown or black Il Bucklng-
hams Dye for the Nhiskers.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

The next meeting will be held at the
home of Philip Fritz, about five miles
south of Ithaca. The date was lett Tor
,he executive committee 10 fix, but
probably will be the third Friday IN
August, 1895.
The following is as nearly a complete
list of those present as could be obtain
ed
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

be gone? { ] =
Nimrod-Until catch good string
Antipole-Well, then, farewell. dear
old friend of my boyhood.-Boston
Courier.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24

Antipolc-Helo, old boy going fish
ing?
Nimrod-Yes.
Antipole-How long are you going to
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
Chronic Nervousness
Could Not Sleep, Nervous
Hoodorhec
DIR. Miles Neryine
Cures.

DR.. Miles Nervine Is sold on a positi 'e
guarantee that the first bottle VIII bcntDs-
Al drut lists sell 10 az 81, hotties Tor e.. -
AZ De g., Oaid, on rccCirt OF
b, 10 ~ Medical Co, Ili-N"-
The evening world., 1894-09-19
SETTLING a TEACHER.
An Outbreak Which Leu to u Reform
AU ArOund.

perhaps you didn't hear the bell ring
for you to go back 10 your class either.
What is IL, Blake?" demanded the
young man, turning to Teddy.
What, Mr.. Whyland?" asked Teddy
innocently.
who were you going to settle as l
came in?"
"Oh. that's only little way we have
Of speaking about those Latin transla-
tons. sir
The tutor looked as though he did
not believe Teddy's explanation. but he
said nothing more about it,
Mr. Whyland was the new assistant
at the academy. He had been there
only a week, but in that time had man
aged with his extra rules and hard
punishments to make all the boys his
enemies. He did not seem to get along
with them somehow. Perhaps boarding
school boys are hard to get along with
DR.. Arnold, President OF the school. had
engaged this young man to fill a va
cancy on his staff OF instructors. not
because he knew him personally but
because he had taken high honors at
The evening world., 1894-09-19

mands no one thought OF studying.
At last the tutor lost patience.
Il shall have to refer this matter to
die Doctor" he began.
"Do." said Frank. whose desk was on
the opposite side OF the room from Taify.
Now was Tanys chance. He eau
tiously mounted his desk, his cheeks
bulged out with wind, looking like a
full moon. The boys commenced To
cheer, and Mr., Whyland turned in time
to see Tany standing on tiptoe on the
desk, with his mouth directly over "A
gas-burner. That was all he saw, how
ever, for just then Taffy's mouth opened.
ana "A gust OF wind from il swept down
the gas-hurner. Immediately all was
darkness, not only in that room, but In
the whole building. -.
Then what an unoaj there Vas. Rub
bcrs ana books commenced to ny In the
election of the tutor. Then some one
fired an inkstand towards the black
board. 1t did not reach its destination.
Just then the door opened, and Or. and
Mrs. Arnold, with several of the teach
crs and older boys, appeared with lights
and matches to stop the gas that was
escaping from every hameless burner
"S!lence! roared the old man, and
every one fell into the seat nearest to
him What does this mean, Mr.. Why
land?"
But Mr.. whyIand did not answer. He
was lying on the floor.
The doctor hurried TO him, but found
him insenslble. There was deep
wound in his head. from which the blood
flowed freely.
The evening world., 1894-09-19

graduation. and. too. his mother was an
old friend of the doctors. He is a very
nice fellow with the men," the doctor
had told his wife. but he forgets he
ever was boy I'll have a little talk
with him He Furnishes too often, and
the boys can't get his big worded ex-
plantations through their heads" But
Dr. Arnold postponed his little talk too
long, for the boys settled" their tutor
first.
That afternoon the third form boys
did not make as much noise as usual,
and that dear old lady, Mother Arnold,
as she was affectionately called, scented
mischief as she looked from her window
out on the playground The boys We're
grouped together, talking and gesticu-
lating violently, and Mother Arnold
thought she ought to tell the Doctor
about 1t, but he was out, and by the
time he came in everything was quiet
again. What transpired on the cam
pus' I'll tell you just as II was said
Let's boycott him." suggested Ted
dy, who hadn't n very well-deined idea
OF what boycottIng was
"Oh, shut upr' growlei Ned Turner,
a thickset fellow with less than his
share OF braine. THE only way to fix
him is to fight. Take him when he ism t
prepared, and two or three OF us big
fellows will lay him out"
That's cowardly." said Frank Snow.
"Nobody but Turner would think OF
doing SUCH
Take that back" shouted Ned, cor
I'll show you who's a cow
But Frank didn't. because just then
The evening world., 1894-09-19

Harry Boot, the class beauty, shouted
"IIurrah!' at the top Of his voice. and
every one rushed over to where he and
what was the matter. These two had
been separated from the other boys for
quite awhile, and as Taffy announced:
- he Beauty has struck it, fellows!
Wen force old Why to resign, and I'm
going TO do the biggest part of IL"
"What?' "How?" "Whcn?' were
the questions then asked.
BE quiet. and III tell you" said
Harry. Wen make life disagrceah.c
Tor him ana make him give up teaching
us. Don't any Of you boys study your
lessons tonight, ana Tomorrow make all
the noise you can in class, and at even
ing session TaTy win do something TO
astOnish you"
WHAT" cried Ted.
"Wait and see" drawIed Taffy, "only
have your rubber erasers and lots OF
paper balls on hand to use"
That night was very long 10 the eX-
pectant boys, but they were so quiet
during evening session that the tutor
thought he had commenced to have
some control over his charges. but the
morning dispelled the Illusion he had
on this score. Not one in the third form
knew his lessons. and. what was worse
they all owned they hadn't studied a
bit.
After supper that day, when the gong
sounded for all pupils TO retire TO their
respective classrooms, there was half
suppressed excitement among the third
form boys. For all Mr.. Whyland's COM
The evening world., 1894-09-19

sight, the firm. as in former years, is
apace with the present styles.
The Gainesborough hats, mostly in
black, and gorgeously trimmed with
plumes and bows, are attracting the
most attention and are the proper thing.
In this line. Bloomingdale's has
an especially beautiful display. There
is "A large back velvet hat. with n high
plated satin crown, and handsomely
feathers, held by by steel buckles, and and
faced under, the rim with pale blue
satin. Another also Of black vel
vet, is trimmed with four argus wings,
with yellow velvet roses.
A blue velvet Gainesborough, with
raised crown plumes, and trimmed with
fountain aigrettes and black jet pins,
attracts attention is large, round hat
of silk velvet, with a massive jet crown.
1t is trimmed with brown velvet and up
right bows. and finished off with dainty
jet pins. At the back are black wings
and roses.
The other styles are also very at
tractive. The English walking, hats,
black satin crown, and trimmed with
Prince of Wales feathers and bows,
held with steel buckles, are very
noticeable, a number OF large round
hats on display are more than pretty.
For the most part they are of black
satin or braid. trimmed with birds or
plumes, and steel pins and buckles
called the '1i92'' hat attracts everybody.
1t Is II very large poke of black velvet.
trimmed with enormous feathers and a
satin streamcr.
But little need BE said of the line Of
turbans. The firm has long since made
decided success of these dainty pieces
Of hcadgear, and this year is no eXcep-
ton -
The evening world., 1894-09-19
INCIPlENT CONSUMPTION.

The abatement of Mrs. Ienbciln Dn.lOn
would seem almost beyond beiiefifi u were
not for the uuaucstiOnRbie NerRcitN OF
Mrs. Dalton and her Inmiiy, the male
members of which hive boen prominent
In Brooklyn police circles for II number OF
years. Mrs. DaiIon's late fuiher, Mr..
benjamin +. Gardner, was Sergeant Of
Police In the First Precinct until his death.
Mrs. nRilon's futhcr-in- law is Commits
-ioner Frank Dalton, who Is we'll und
widely known in the city Of Brooklyn
Her husband, Mr.. George Dalton, In su-
pcrintendent of the shipping department
IN Nnmm - dry goods and upholstery store,
located ON Fulton ST., Br0oklyn. 10 the
writer Mrs. Dnllon said,
"FOr four years or more I had bronchial
cRtnrrh. My fnther died Of consumption
few years ago. lie was apparently II
strong, healthy man, but wns attacked by
pneumonia, which resulted in cOnsump-
tton, aud he died within three or four
months. MY sister, only n few years
older than myself, contracted con-ump-
lion and died Of IL within n short time. I
seemed 10 he going the same way.
couEhcd necessarily day aud night. and
could not sleep ON account of Il. IL was u
dry, hacking cough, which threatened TO
shake my frame TO pieces. My appetite
failed aud 1 lost In flesh and strength
rupidly.
SHARP, shooting pains darted through my
chest ard side and under my shoulder blades. /
hawked and spit up quantities OF phlegm OF a
whltish and yelowish color, Night sweats came
on, and the bed linen would be saturated, | per
spred so freely. grew weaker daily from these
sweats. At last was confined to my bed, and
gave up hope of being well again. My
mother. my family and neighbors all despaired
The evening world., 1894-09-19

Say, fellows, let's get rid OF him. We
can't stand that sort OF teacher" said
Jack Darwin one day last April He
makes me slck-always preaching,
preaching, pre-
Lets settle him!" shouted three or
Tour from the outside of the group.
Aye, aye" came the answers, and
Tamy Douglass, the fat boy, with his
SLOW movements, had just opened his
mouth for an "Ayew when he caught
s'Ght of tine new tutor, looking at the
hoys with frown on his face, and SO
ne transferred the intended part of
speech into another loud yawn, which
made the new tutor jump, whereupon
all the boys giggled.
who is to be settled THORN" the
tutor asked of the tall boy who stood
nearest him. Thorn colored up to the
roofs of his hai--he had a very fair
complexion, and blushed easily, which
led to his being called Rosie" by the
o'hers-and stammered:
forg-I don't-didn't hear. Mr.. Why
land"
The evening world., 1894-09-19
buses Rooms Ads Go Free n Evening World TO- Morrow

died. and SO eft me to manage the boy.
Richard never Wen, u school, as you
boys do, but taught him at home with
his five sisters. lie associated only with
women until he went to college, so you
can easily see why he didn't know how
To manage or teach boys. He says that
when he RECEIVERS he is going to know
you better AMI is sure that he viii like
you and be able to make you UNDER
stand. His physician a,ows him TO go
out for the first time tomorrow. and he
wants to see you"
Then the boys understood. No wonder
poor Mr., Whylanl Jll not know now to
manage them. He had been brought up
with his sisters, who, ii they were all
Ike Bessie, must be very nice indeed.
ami he had been supporting them by
teaching.
The next day was holiday in honor
OF the young tutors recovery.
Towards noon he appeared on the steps
leading to the playground, supported by
his mother and Bessie. He was greeted
with shouts of applause, and the third
form boys had humbly begged his for
glveness. He made little speech, say
ing that he trusted he should manage
them better in the future, and he hoped
they would always be the best of riends.
And, boys" he added, with twinkling
eyes, II have learned something new
about gas. and since l have recovered
am glad that you did settle me-"
Three cheers for Prof Whyland and
Miss Bessie?' cried Harry, and the hurs
rahs could be heard for miles.-Kath-
crime N. Birdsan In Philadelphia Press
The evening world., 1894-09-19

After the consultation the doctors pro-
nuuuccd Mr. Whyland to be suffering
from a severe attack Of brain fever.
Never wer" boys so frightened ut what
thry had done or so repentant MIR.
Whvllni's mother was telegraphed for.
and late in the afternoon she arrived,
acconpanled by Bessie. one of her
daurh,prs. or his i've sisters BESSIE
was her brothers fayorite. and the BOYS
The evening world., 1894-09-19

You could have heard pin drop any
time during the next fifteen m!utes, the
silence was so deep after Mr Whyl"nd
hhd been carried to his room. Finally
Mrs. Arnold returned She looked wor-
r.ed, ana IN" sight OF her face made the
culprits feel very uncomfnrtnblr.
"Boys,' She said, what does ii all
mean? DO you know what you have
"ohe' IN" Doctor thinks MI NhyiHnd