Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-03-04

preston, E pluribus unum, meant that
''the tail goes with the hide
visited a self made millionaire once
who made his money by stealing saw
logs from the United States while the
United States was looking at dog fight
or something. ought not perhaps 70
refer to the matter now, for the poor
man died a few years ago worth SlS.-
900, 600 and had to march up TO the
great bar of judgment in nothing but
goatee and a strawberry mark. but II
might be OF use 10 boys and young peo-
pie who may read this to know that
when I dined with that wealthy man he
forgot himself after the carving was
done and ate with the carving knife and
fork, especially with the knife. OF
course he is now on the other shore,
where l hope that the carving is al
ready done, but who would have thought
1t possible that a man with the wealth
of an emperor would have fed himself
and injured his tOnsiis for years with
the carving knife?
Boys, remember this and send for ny
great work on etiquette; or, How 70
Avoid Dangerous Stab Wounds While
Eating Pie"
While am speaking word to the
boys, l might tell them OF little Incl
dent that occurred at Harvard last Hal
loWeen. The Harvard boys are not
such bad boys as some, but are full OF
animal spirits and one thing or another,
all seeking expression in harmless
way.
As Halloween approached, these boys
tried to think OF some way By which
they could surprise and delight the pO-
lice. Boys love TO interest the police
everywhere, / think, and it is very sad
20 know that in many instances the pO-
lice are not only cold toward the boys,
but in some cases even repulsive.
The boys finally went 10 barber
about 10 o'clock, as be was closing up
the shop, and asked him what hs would
take for his barber pole sign. He
thought a minute and then said sos.
CAL right" said the boys, write ont
q receipt"
Then with the pole and the receipt
they started out over town. OF course
they were arrested. "pll tGche you
young diyils to go putin barber poles
in the cimitery over the graves OF the
pilgrim fathers and sidebare boOggi5s
on top the matin house! Come on wild
mel" said an American policeman. so
they went with him, carrying the pole
and singing joyfully little song called
DAISY Bell" They produced their re.
ceipt 1t the station, gave the Irishman
the great, big, coarse laugh and started
out once more to land another police
man. All night they harvested the po-
lice and in the morning sold the pole
back for $50. When the police read
this. they will know that the United
States and Great Britain have been let
into the secret on the promise not TO
let it go any further.
am pleased to notice that her most
gracious majesty, Queen Victoria, En-
press of India by the grace OF God and
political influence, is discussing the
question Of Whether propinquity or
cool, sober judgment brings about the
most marriages 10 the world"
Though rather late ia the day, have
been asked by correspondent recently
to place myself on record on this ques-
tion. and 1 rise to remark that it is
rather hefty question, especially to a
man who is not quite sure what pro-
pinQuity means.
However, if propinQuity be sort OF
iuxtaposition, would say that it no
doubt has a good deal to DO with many
emotional marriages, especially among
the more barbarous tribes; bat, on the
other hand in Englan where SO many
extinct mobiles marry American girls
who bud on the same branch beside the
leaf lard which gave vitality and wealth
to the parent stem, think that propin-
guilty has little 10 do with marriage,
spondulicity being the great motive on
the one hand and love for purple but
strumous blood on the other The
true English humor found in the blood
OF nobility is the KIND that calls loudly
for $50 doses of sarSaparilla for 81
But shall we say that cool calculation
has much to do with she true and hap
py marriage2 No, your majesty 1 troW
not.
True love must be more or less asso-
ciated with youth, and youth is not cool
or calculating. Did your majesty pause
20 consider 10 your sweet grlhood the
great international questions which
your marriage with Albert ght raise?
1 do not believe that you did hope
not, at least.
Looking over my own experience and
those of some of nv acquaintances,
would exclaim, blessed be propin-
guilty" To those who have been de-
MED the Joyful pr0piuquity Of sleigh
ride on frosty evening, when health
and high purposes bound through
every artery aud sweet presence sits
adjoining you, death can have no ter
ror5.
Your majesty perhaps has never
started out on a cold starlit evening
with no one in the sleigh but a very
dear gentleman friend, then a gentle
horse, lonesome road through the
stately and communicative trees, a lit
tie propinquity and one muf between
you. An, who shall say that even
crowned head might not incline few
degrees toward the shoulder OF truly
noble being, and who shall say that the
noble being would murmur II the royal
diadems and ruby prongs and things OF
the crown iabbed him ever and anon
under the ear?