Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-08-16
Let Us All Laugh.

Let US All Laugh
FIRsT-"There is one sign that
should be placed over every letter
box in the city" Second-"Whatis
that?" First-"Post no bills. Yale
Record.
JACK-"She says No to every
thing you say, doesn't she?" Tom
NOT always. When | asked her it,
she persisted in her refusal, she said
Yes. Life
CLARA-"We girls are getting up a
secret society" George What's the
ohject?" Clara Il don't know yet,
but III tell you all after am
inflated. lid Bits.
une penalty for it is?" Culprit-!
"Sorry | can't oblige you. Why don't
you look it up?"-Fliegende Blaetter.
LIMITED QUARTERS. Mr.. Hayseed
Gn the city)-"There's wagon sellin1
condensed milk. / wonder wot that's
fe1?" Mrs. Hayseed-"I guess that's
fer people wot lives in flats. Life. !
Shelf every atom Of the human
body is renewed every seven years, I
clnnot be the same woman that you
married He-I've been suspecting
that for some time. New York
Weekly.
NELLIE-Why do you send out
your wedding invita- atoms so far in
advance? Mile-Many of our friends
keep their money in savings banks,
and have to give notice. New York
Weekly.
WHATS that noise:" asked Willie,
as the owls began to boot. Its a
howl" said his English nurse. "Poh!"
cried Willie. 81 know that, but
what is it that's howling?"-Harper's
Bazaar.
FoGo-- Oh, you are too hard on
FIimsey. lie has his faults, but
there is one good thing about him.
Dobbs-And pray what is that?
Fogg-He-er-Ic can't recall it just
at this moment. It'd Bits.
Young HOUSEKE EPER-Have you a
small hand bellows for blowing the
fire? Notwithstanding like that,
madam? Young housekeeper-Y es;
that will do II you will fill it with
wind and put cork in the end I'll
take III WIN lue. Lille.
GUEsT-Will you not give me
kiss, beauteous creature? Waiter
girl-Not much do l give you any,
kiss Guest Gesignedly)-Well. then
you might as well bring me portion
OF Schweitzer cheese and a glass of
book beer.-German Joke.
FIRST DETECTIvE-Have you sue
ceeded in locating your suspected an
archist? Second detective-Yes: L
have him dead to rights so far as the
house is concerned. But. you see, he
is Mormon, and | don't know ex-
actly which bed he is der.-Mer-
chant Traveller.
CusroMER-What do you charge
for arsenic? Drug clerk (suspiciOusly)
" hat dc you want it for? Customer
Il I'm a French candy manufac-
turer. Drug clerk suspicious al
| layed)-Oh, | beg pardon, sir; l
thought perhaps you wanted it for
| yourself. New York Sun,
CHARLEY will soon be home again,
fresh from his studies, won't he?"
said fond mother to her spouse. II
don't think, my dear, that Charley's
studies can have the effect of making
him any fresher than he was when
! he left" was the old gentleman's I'M
fee ing reply.-C ncinnati Sun.
REPoRTER-Are you going to work
| to-day, Pat? Pat-Sure, | dunno.
/ My ould woman says she'll break me-
! head if I don't, and the union men
will break me head if I do. Sure,
| these are hard times for dacint men.
| | think I'll just take me chances
with the ould woman. New York
Tribune.
OLD GENTLEMAN-Do you think,
sir. that you are able to support my
daughter without continually hover
ing on the verge of bankruptcy
Suitor-Oh, yes, sir; | am sure i
can. Old Well. that's
more than / can do. Take her and
be happy-New York Weekly.
HERES story about coin that
a man marked with his initials COM
ing back to him after an absence Of
twenty-three years. Queer, wasn't
| it?" "Oh, / don't know l passed
coin in a bazaar in Constantinople
thirty years ago, and" at came
back to you?" @The same afternoons;
it was counterfeit. "-Philadelphia
Call.
A GENTLEMAN enters telegraph
office: Il beg pardon, but as was
coming along this afternoon saw,
myriads of flies settled on your wires.
Can you suggest any explanations"
about what time was it, sir?"
About four o'clock" "Ah, that ac-.
counts for it; that's the time I send
quotations for sugar and honey. p
| French Joke.