The Penn's Grove record., 1894-08-17
THE MEMORIAL SEMINARY

the benefit Of his patrons and the pub.
Tic In general, that the educational in
stitution will not be dedicated before
the frost falls, so that the icy dews may
destroy all of the cholera microbes that
are liable to hover around q crowded
place, like the institute is certain to he.
He wishes ii plainly understood that he
is ready to receive all subscriptions
thai the generous public may contribute
to the cause and that stock may now be
bought at par. He guarantees that the
STOCK will not be watered unless the de-
mand Tor it requires it, as he will give
all the cash received his personal atten-
ton. He will gamble that it will be
well taken care of.
IN. b. As Uncle Billy has promised
SCRIBE the position of treasurer, 1 take
great pleasure in recommending this
enterprise and also the honesty Of Un-
Gle Billy who is a slIrewd business man
n will not allow the concern to be a
failure.)
He received the corner stone for his
new building from the large stone quar-.
ries at Eagletown last week and also a
large rock from Plymouth, from which
will be chiseled the exact likeness of
Freddy ST." He gave as his reason
for transporting the rock from such a
distance, that it would represent the
stock. Reddy from Plymouth Rock
stock.
Uncle Billy will be principal aud is
calculated to name any full blooded
fowl 1.-The sex included) that is placed in
front of him, but he is not an expert at
naming mongrels and does not care to
have any thing to do with mixed stock.
For instance. Suppose he were busily
engaged in the instruction of a class of
his own intelligent fowls when a gander
of Mr.. P's. should jump up and set to
barking. Such an unnatural occurrence
would demoralize the whole school. He
thinks himself that Reddy ST. would be
very much ~displeased to know his off
spring was degenerating in morals,
which is true as manifested in Reddy
Jr's. behavior with his new master
Hance, but he would be painfully griev-
ed to learn that he was the proud pro-
genitor of a noble breed that was be.
ing educated with a lot of unnamable
animals that are liable to become out
landish freaks for a dime museum.
Uncle Billy says that Mr.. 2. is a fine
man, but he needs a few pointers on
poultry culture. He agrees with ue in
saying it is difficult to say what such a
dog-on lot of goose eggs will produce.
They might hatch goslings with dog
ling instinct or doglings with gosling
propensities. We should not be at all
surprised to bear of Mr.. P's. chasing
down a few rabbits this fall with a flock
of geese, or if the dog that Matched the
eggs were not a Beagle but a Irish bird
dog he will likely do a little quail hunt.
ing with a gander for a setter.
Knowing full well Uncle Billy's pugi-
listic qualifications, 1 naturally felt a
little dubious about speaking to him
about the pickles and cantaloupe and
planting late tomatoes for early ones,
and visa versa, but he took it good
naturally and winkiDg the other eye
said, "Mumm's the word" 1 interro.
gated further and wanted to know if
he really intended to crack a bottle of
Mumm's or did he mean for me to keep
quiet, for l never took much stock in
the winking business, as 1 always
thought 1t meant trickery. l told him
if he wanted to dose mt up with pear
cider, marble dust and chemicals L
would write him up in great style that
he wonld not like. 1 saw a sinister
smile cross his face that forboded evil.
l saw 1 had "rIled" him and when he
became so formally courteous and want
ed me to stay a couple more hours with
him while he cleaned up. an old rusty
pistol Ito shoot chicken thieves with,)
1 seon felt large beads of ice cold per.
SEPARATION coursiDg down my brow. 1
had read of so many accidents with
those old rusty firearms that aparalyz.
ing dread suspicion that my turn would
come next took possession of me.
When Uncle Billy went for that fire.
arm / departed. When he returned
his game had flown and he inquired of
a neighbor, (who does not mind enlarg-
ing upon the truth a %little,) whether
they had seen me. They replied they
had seen my shadow and a small cloud
of dust going toward home. / did not
get all the information 1 wanted about
the seminary and / look over that way
sometimes with a spy glass from the
top of my house, but this is a very I'M
satisfactory and unsuccessful way of
getting news.
Uncle, / hear, has relented and sent
word to me if any more vas said in the
papers about his tomatoes and citron
for me to fire back, charge heavy and
shoot low and he would be my friend
again.
1t looks to me as if l were just where
all smart, enthusiastic newspaper writ
ers get when they begin-in a hole.
Uncle Billy. or those who pass remarks
on him, will have revenge and if MI.
P's. not very gentle in his criticisms, 1
think 1 will gather my truck and at
tend to matters around home and keep
quiet until / find that Uncle Billy's
temper is thoroughly reformed.
SCRIBE.
When you ask the editor a question
-. 80 IooLa OF Won and smiles that