The morning news., 1894-11-26


Absence Of Wit-The Variety Come
dams idea of Repartee is to Use an
AK.
From the Chicago Times.
.-.- gags perpetrated at the variety
shouts succeed best with the audience
-r.- they are absolutely devoid Of wit.
GOOD joke requires a listener with some
.ltgence to appreciate it, but the
..r.--r. men need jokes that will suit the
remar palate of people with no intel
r..r.e at all. Humor has been defined
81. The unexpected, and so, when the
.se. German asks the stage Irishman
where will you go yesterday" there is
enough unexpectedness for the remark
.o seem humorous to the fellows up in
.r. f1p gallery. They simply burst with
lar-hter at such merry sallies.
An actor went to a manager with
large supply of what he said was the
latest wit The wretched theatrical man
listened to about twenty samples and
then said: Yours is certainly. the very
hates. supply It's about twenty years
ht.."
~h.r. are one or twc gags" that
Seem new, though it is not always safe
to h.r upon the pedigree of d gag" The
gentlemen who have introduced porcelain
shirt fronts into modern melody may
have slyly dug up some ancient saying
from Iong-forgotten graves, tomb rob-
hing being a favortte weakness of humor-
isis but they guarantee that their re
marks are strictly novel Perhaps,
though. this is only another symptom OF
their fun.
oWe lost father from the house for
week. says one of the minstrels.
Mother had every one she could think
of out looking for him, but it was no use.
We missed him dreadfully, especially on
pay day. My brother and I were walk
ing along the Chicago river yesterday and
On the bank we found father. He had
Just been washed ashore.
81 knew him at once; the same features,
the same whiskers. and the same clothes.
was just going to fetch a wagon to take
him home when noticed his mouth was
wide open and he didn't have any teeth.
Father has q. splendid set Of teeth. 1t
wasn't father.
Now" he concluded, tearfully, '1f that
man had kept his mouth shut what a
fine funeral he'd have hadw 0aughter)
down town the other night" says anoth-
er. My brother was there, large as life.
You ought to see my brother. He's a fine
feIow-carries everything before him"
Chairman of the dinner, 1 suppose?'
inquiries the middle man, amiably,
"Oh, no He was the waiter" Uaugh-
Walters carry everything before them.
See?
Then they give burlesque of the Lex
ow committee meetings. A loud, rasping
noise is heard in the distance. Mr. Goff
jumps to his feet in alarm, clutehing at
his green moustaehe. He seems to think
that the police are leading mob against
the inquisition.
whats that?" he demands.
ooh, they're fling an affidavit is the
response.
Then someone says it's an after David
g., and there is a loud snicker at Sepa-
tor Hills expense.
When they adjourn for luncheon it Is
decided that the LeXow committee shall
eat their meal right where they are. A
court attendant goes out to get it for
them and returns with bale Of hay.
This for some reason, provokes large
quantities of mirth.
I've got dude dog" declares Mr..
Sweatnam.
"Ha Ha' What's a dude dog?''
"One that's got his tongue split"
What's that for?'
<"To put creases in his pants"
troupe of magicians come in with an
easel a picture frame with a blank can
Vas, and all sorts of apparatus. The ma
sician in chief announces that he will
depOste photographs of politicians in
tn box and will make any picture called
for appear on the blank canvas.
He so places the photographs, which
gives him a chance to say something
bright about Hill and Cleveland being lin
the same box After the photographs are
all deposited he calls for the audience to
make their selections.
Who do you want to see?'
II want to see Hill" says someone in
The audience.
Want to see Hill, eh?"
Yes"
Go see him, then, why don't you?"
Then the troupe of magicians seize their
easel and apparatus and march off, guy
ing the spectator who called for Hill on
their way out, and making him feel sorry
he spoke.
In the variety show which includes Pug
Hist Bob Fitzsimmons a couple of ira
1uonal stage tramps have quarrel and
square off to each other.
Lhen one of them, who evidently is
afraid backs off and says he doesn't care
light just then.
'II send me friend to fight YOU" he
ADDS, blusteringly,
Who is your friend, anyway
'O DOnuel."
This reference to Mr. Corbetts former
refusal to fight Fitzsimmons until that
gentleman had met and defeated his
trainer, O'Donnel, is a distinct go
"'n the gallery gods, who howl out Cor
bett' Corbettw
Halen and Hart, in Later On" have
some very good gags" They are made
'E themselves often on the spur Of the
moment, and when they prove a success
'hey are retained in the play. eve wear
out a lot Of gags said these gentlemen
TO me when l saw them in their dressing
room the other night after the perfor-
nance. Sometimes we make up things,
and ind that they've been travelling
around for a long time. An actor treats
good gag sometimes as a dog does a
''He. Ie can't bear to part with 1t, ana
even after he has buried II he'll dig II up
again and play with IT,"
We got three children" says someone
H Later on" gravely.