Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-04-08
The Idlsr DlEourSth On Phantoms and
Some Of Their Tricks.
THE CAPITOL NEEDS 4 SPIRIT.
Supernatural vIsitntions Would Add Tone
to tho Buiiding-A Mysterious
White Turkey Buzzard.

at the most critical, concluueu-ih-oui-h -heNs
point, and close with the remark that the
supper-bell interrupts him or that ms
mother is calling him TO come down
stairs. That's the way the girls do. AMI
no matter whether they are scribbing
away at 1 O'Clock Z. NJ. they don't hesi-
tate to utilize that supper-bell when they
get tired. But with us this excuse doesn't
do. In the first place, very few news
paper men are able to get suppers, ana
then. too, the baser human appetites OF
common, everyday humanity are not
expected to interfere with their lofty
themes. Why It's perfectly ridiculous to
think of hungn' checking the enthusiasm
Of a journalist who is reporting revival
or meeting OF the State Board Of Agri-
culture / know one reporter who has
already gone twelve months without eat
ing-yes, this is an actual fact, and there
is no trickery about 1t. What is still
more wonderful, he has also gone twelve
months without drinking. His friends
confidently assert that he will even go
another twelve months without taking
nourishment. This man Is not aiming to
do the DIR. Tanner act. and he has no
desire to get his name in the papers;
neither is he trying to be economical in
order that the money expended for his
sustenence may 90 TO the orphans. lie
is dead. He died just year ago
IT is rather against my principles to
write about uncanny things, but speak
.hGtqpnfOfIg rpDOrter brings
the subject of ghosts to my mind, and
as spooks can certainly be classified as
light matter, ! propose to give posterity
nv views on the subject. In England
NOWADAYS no house is considered tho-
roughly aristocratic unless two or three
ghosts make their habitations within It's
walls These phantoms are or course an
cestral spirits, and at speclhed tirhes
they make their appearance on TINS eaI'l''
satisfy themselves that their descent
ants are keeping straight ana peaceluhS
depart. without entalling any expense
tlpon the lord of the manor, or In any
way making themselves troublesome as
most visitors do. When once you get
Ghost in your family he Tor She) Is the
cheapest thing In the world to run All
they need is little cold storage, It"
feet Of atmosphere to walk on, DARK
stormy night on which to make their dP-
pearance. and a susceptible Vlctlm VINO
will thoroughly appreciate them. Iheir
conduct is orderly and proper as gen.
eral thing, though there have been m
stances where ardent, enthusiastic spir-
lis have found their ways into house
holds and played the mischief. still, that
class don't make much difference, for II
any men are in the house they are soon
uut downfall Is to say, the spirits are
nut down-and so are the men, for that
matter. II they undertake To suppress the
marauders with much VIM Ancestral
ghosts frequently make their appearance
In heavy armOr, though the conventional
mode of dress in phantom circles consists
| OF a sheet laundered rough-dry, or an
| old bolster sham thrown cOyly arouhd
the ribs, and SO arranged as to snow thaI
| the wearer Of the garment has not had
| 7 quare meal saI hundreds OF years. re-
/ male ghosts are Of course much rarei
than those Of the stronger SEX ana there
| is 10 NV mind. but one way OF account
ing for their scarcity. ana that Is De
| cause the regulation phantom Is not eA-
! pected 10 talk.
| Ghosts. as / said, are In great demand
| among parVenus and "powhlte Iolhs
| who have recently made money, but are
still lacking in genealogy and ancestors
| These mushroom persons, VINO nave
| sprung UP without placing the response
| bility on any one, OF course feel, as SCOT
as they buy handsome mansion, thai
il should SAVIOR of antiquity gust as eggs
| should when they are to be thrown al
| offending persons), and so they forthwith
| proceed to buy up old portraits, anc
| tIen they try to resurrect ghost. Spooks
wouldn't think of coming into a new
| house They shun them gust as you
would shun the society OF a new Daby
and so these "powhite'' folks have hare
time coaxing them, and are never sue
cessrll unless they can purchase some
| old. historic hall, full of classic memories
and cockroaches. 4 short while ago
| was reading about an English chemis
who had made q fortune by bottlinl
| ghosts and selling them to these plebeiar
| people. He captured them at some Old
| musty, moss-grown, dismantled castle
| turned them into gas compressed then
into q bottle. and sold them for rattlinl
good prices. After purchasng-say
| 2-ounce vial Of ghost-all you had to do
was to take out the cork. and presto! hi
spooks ship would float out on the atmos
phere, go through few pantomimic gira
tons, and make himself altogether al
pleasant and agreeable as the monel
you paid for him demanded. When ono
the "sperit" got out the vial there wa
no rebottling him. and in the course o
few hours he would fade away. an
the purchaser would have nothing 70
his cash except the bottle. StIll, tn
mere fact that the ghost had been IL
the household added tone TO the place
and 1t was very easy. at stated intervals
10 supply the mansion with extract o
OF spooks." as the drug was technical,
known.
II always struck me that IL would b
eminently appropriate for the Capito
building TO have two or three respectable
dignified ghosts in IT, who could appea
on stated occasions. like the 4th of Jul
and the 22d of February. and get off some
| thing appropriate to the occasion. In book
the old-time figures generally come dow
from portraits on Christmas night an
drink imaginary egg-nogg and apple-todd
until a rooster crows and then the
scoot back to their frames. Now VIII
couldn't those old painted fellows In TN
gallery of the Capitol get up somethin
like this. The environments are certain
"spooky" enough, and the time-honore
edifice is replete with historic association
which have clustered around II for owe
I
laid in l7s5, and ever since its erection III
building has~b been the theatre OF mos
| stirring scenes, and yet-alas, II lacks
ghost. IL Pocahontas would only com
down from her frame once in every te
OF fifteen years and do the song an
dance, or If George Washington an
Patrick Henry would just organize
phantom baseball nine to play on IN
night of every 4tb of July. the Capit'
would become famous. In the dusty, din
lit roof OF the edifice. where the col
webs of ages cluster around the massl'
rafters, there Is everything that could Ia
duce the appearance Of ghosts. In the
l leisure moments they could feast then
selves on the bright. witty contents
the many volumes OF Codes and Acts {
, Assembly which fill the place. and whe
? frivolous or spirit they could dance u
german ON the marble-foored rotunda b
low.
SO far as know the Capitol has news
4 been honored with but one supernatur;
: visitation, and | am not quite certai
/. but what this was bogus, designin
ghost who had some personal end
view. The visitation occurred In II
shadowy loft OF the building. 1t was
& the year 1870, and just two months art
the terrible disaster which sent ski
d souls to eternity. One day as Walk
o Howard, the old colored janitor, Who
the way, IL the Capitol historian, WI
rumaging In the place. he espied. sittir
on the Massive wooden girders. hui
white bird. nearly as large as a iou
: barrel. The ghostly fowl. on perceivir
the darky. gave him q stern, forbiddir
!, stare, and then disappeared.~ II made
o comments on the situation. and once