Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-08-19
REYERSES HISCUFFS.
Tho "Mlsr" Compsts With tho Blue
Ridge Dude.
A WHITE-FLANNEL BABY.
A Deseriptisu OF Botetourt scenery-Cows
In Ciover-Comments on the
Ball-Isoon.
BLUE RIDGE SPRINGS. VA,

BLUE RIDGE SPRINGS. VA.
August 16. 1894.
Dear Editor-Have you ever tried to
crease your trousers between the mat
tresses OF your bed? II you haven't, don't
ever attempt It, They told me to do 1t
and obeyed. The experiment caused my
pants to crease beautifuiy-in fact, they
looked like an accordion-plaited skirt
when I arose in the morning with the
bered on those breeches-trousers. mean.
/ dreamed of the figure 1 would cut on
tho following day, and pictured myself
as the future Ward McAllister, OF the
Blue Ridge. But, alas! man born or
woman is small potatoes and few In
hill. He goeth forth in the morning. and
Is cut down like grass. At eventide he
Is seen at the gates of the city, with
but one suspender, or possibly jug Of
benzine. The next time 1 crease my
pants between two mattresses. you may
prepare quarters for me In a private sani-
tarium, conducted for the welfare and
improvement OF the insane. Speaking
obCte tiOllltS lttiiiiiuo iiit Va my hCD.h-
mate. He brought all the clothes in his
family up here with him. He has six
empire gowns to sleep In at night Che
only sleeps in one at time. though) and
nineteen different sets OF hosiery. which,
among the vulgar, are known as SOCKS.
Every time he changes his occupation he
puts on different pair OF pants-or rather
just before he changes his occupation he
puts them on. For instance, IL he writes
he wears one pair or trousers; III ne
cats he dons another pair; If he plays
tennis he makes still another change, and
IL he dances he leaps into his sleek doe
skins. i can't begin to keep up with this
fellow. No man could run a race against
thirty pairs of trousers. Every hour this
chappie says to me: Let's go and change
our clothes" Sadly consent. trip to my
room, and reverse my cuffs. while he
undergoes a Transformation as marvellous
as that which brings the butterfly out OF
the chrysalis.
Sometime ago I was telling you about
the bulletin-board in the office and the
queer things thereon which attract my
attention as l stroll around the lobby.
Here is n sample OF Macauay-like Eng
lish which caused me TO marvel greatly:
robe. with deep hem and one row OF
feather stitching on 1t. Please return to
the Office" Now l am perfectly willing
to admit that we have most every sort or
baby that one could call for on these
premises but I'll swear l haven't come
across that white-fannel baby as yet.
nor have / seen the slightest sign or
a juvenile with a deep hem and one row
OF feather stitching on It. What a pretty
little thing It must be. A child, whose
chemical ingredients consist OF white
flannel and feather stltchings certainly
ought to be "squshy'' and soft to the
touch.
The teree clear way In which the loser
of the white-flannel baby's carriage-robe
expressed her loss, reminds me OF some
advice concerning infants which l once
rad given me when / was bowed down
with domestic affliction. One of the
youngsters was sick and my acquaint-
ance wrote me saying: 'If the milk does
not agree with the baby boil it," Not
knowing whether ! was TO apply the baby
or the milk to the kettle, l put them
Jo.lf n a.. The baby has never troubled
me since. While commenting on "tootsy-
wootses." I feel that 1t Is but meet and
proper for me to commend the whole
SALE baby carriage suggested by DR.. w.
W. Parker as an adjunct 10 the proposed
founding hospital. The Doctors idea is
TO have a "baby carriage built for twelve
connected with the institution and TO have
the infantile regiment rolled out 10 CHM
borazo Park every afternoon. The scheme
is to be conducted on the wholesale plan.
and the chubby inmates Of the institution
will be taught to cry in a chorus. l really
don't know how the brats will be fed, but
/ would respectfully suggest soothing
syrup In n wash-tub, with twelve straws
attached. Obstreperous, naughty "tootsy-
wooties' should be spanked with thrash
ing machine.
The scenery up here Is beautiful, ard
what is better still. we have ii with us
every day. We can go TO bed at night
very few OF us boys ever do go TO bed
at night, though. and rest assured that
when we get up in the morning (or
afternoon) 1t will still be where it was
before. Mr. Philip +. Brown, our pro-
prietor, says the surrounding landscape
has been here for 5000 years, and !
believe him. / have no doubt that he
inspected the whole job, for nobody but
man with his artistic proclivities could
ever have arranged things so nicely. Some
of the mountains DO need grading, l
admit, but far be II from me 10 criu-
ciZe have no suggestions 10 make,
and accept the original resolution without
amendment.
Back of the hotel and the cottages there
IS n beautiful walk leading up 10 "Ob-
servatory HILL" where I frequently so TO
observe 1t IL positively delightful to
perspire up this serpentine pathway. and
as you make the ascent TO casually in
spect the various articles of clothing
which our neghhors hang on their back
porches. II Is not my purpose TO say
what these articles OF clothing area
word TO the wise is sufficient.
All day long beneath the calm blue
skies. which caress the submits or our
mountains, the cows wander over the
hillocks, picking daisies and seeking four
leaf clover. One cow found six In a day.
though she also found an acre of common,
everyday clover in making the search.
Editor. dear, would you like for me TO
interview that cow?
Twilight at the Blue Ridge Is the most
bewitching time. II is the hour before
supper, when feeling of intense kindli-
ness towards mankind (and wonanklnD
steals over you, and when you feel so good
and sanity that you resolve 10 so 10
church on the succeeding Sabbath. But
when the next Sunday comes you flnd that
this peculiar feeling has vanished.
/ went to n bal poudre the other night,
or more strictly speaking. to a german
poudre. Never have | looked so hahd-
some before. People took me for Thomas
jefferson resurrected. but they made
mistake. 1t was me-not Thomas. L had
borrowed some corn starch, used for the
personal ornamentation OF a neighborinS
baby, to whten my hair with, and the
effect was most startling. This silverlng
of my locks, combined with the forty-two
inches OF my dress-coat tails, added
charm TO my personality which even sur
prised those who admire and love me the
most But 1t was in the dip waltz that
created the greatest sensation Wheh
my coat-tais smote the sleek moor WIN
a resounding swish. sweeping therelroth
,la cfo st,irnUS and fallen