The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1894-01-17
AS TO LONG ENGAGEMENTS
THE COUNTESS NORRAIKOW'S ADJ
VICE TO YOUNG WOMEN.
Most DepIOrabIe of All Matrimonial
ConcIusiOns-ReSuIt of the Rule of
Women in the HOusehOId-Hasty En-
gaEcments-Increase of "BacheIOr
Girls"


So many unhappy marriages have re-
suited from short engagements that a
few words, carrying with them the wis
dom Of experience, may not come amiss.
The nose deplorable of all matrimonial
conclusions is the marriage of a miss in
her teens. She is, in all respects, little
more than a child-with all a childs
conceit in the extent of her powers.
Such marriages must of necessity be the
result Of short engagements. How much
wiser it would be if the youth and
maiden would consent to a prolongation
of the engagement beyond the first
feverish heat of lovei \ young couple
becoming engaged on three weeks or
months acquaintance should. if the
parents be wise. continue 50 at least
year.
Sober common sense should govern
every action of our lives. particularly
the linking together OF two young hearts.
Haste under any condition is a serious
factor and it is especially SO in forming
the relationship above named. The
youth of twenty-one or twenty-three
years and the maiden of seventeen or
eighteen cannot possibly have formed
habits which will characterize their
after lives. Youth is the season of
change and the gawky lad just merging
into manhood stands ready TO be made
or married.
The same rule holds good i'm the young
girls case. The union of two tender
lives not yet expanded may mean in
the near future a pulling apart. 1t were
single until they had passed at least
their twentieth birthday; while the
average young man. by the time he had
reached twenty-siX or twenty-seven,
would find that his ideas of life had
greatly enlarged from the callow period.
In such cases engagements not extend
ing beyond one year are desirable, for
by few meetings each can tell whether
he or she is suited 10 the other
Where the law of primogeniture OBJ
tains, as in England, the younger sons
are oftimos relegated To such a posi-
ton that they are not permitted to dis
play much force Of character. As a
rule, young men of this latter stamp
make fairly good husbands. from the
fact that the wife becomes the presiding
genius of the household. Permit
woman to rule, and peace will reign.
1t is when two rulers hold sway i'm one
domain that the times become out of
joint
A sensible mother will early instll
into her daughters mind the necessity
of making a wise choice Of "A mate with
whom to walk through life. Girls
brought up under such jurisdiction sell
dom marry before they have reached an
no "a tn
their own minds With them the mar
Tiage agreement is not hastily entered
into. and the heart is only yielded up
after matuls elaboration and the prom
Use Of an engagement extending over
such a period as TO permit both parties
To become thoroughly acquainted.
Life is not entirely like the summer
sea-composed of roseate hues. II is
more often like the surface Of old ocean.
on which storms and sunshine follow in
quick succession. The test Of love lies in
its endurance, and only weil-balanced
| minds come out unsecured from life'S
battle. In the heydey of life its twilight
is obscured. and it is the ability to meet
both which comments the marriage tie.
In these rapidly progressive times. when
people rush headlong through life. too
little attention is paid to this most holy
of rites. 1t would seem that even the
necessity for its existence We're in
measure passing away. Men and wo-
men. instead Of forming cOnjugal unions,
are arrayed against each other in indi-
Vidual efforts to secure a living. And
SO the battle surges on.
The spirit Of the times creates COM
pulSOry Independence. and woman i'm
all things considers herself the equal of
man. This. iii many respects, is not TO
be doubted, and indeed I'm certain fields
she is his superior. The man. never
theless, yet stands king, for in this busy
world might still makes right and the
battle is TO the strong. Thus in certain
walks Of life it is only occasionally that
woman rises TO mans dignity. II is
these exceptional cases that are held up
as laudable and worthy Of emulation.
Where man, the king, can be counted
as tens of thousands strong the greatest
woman appears as but a beacon light
10 the members of her sex.
What we want in this busy workday
life of ours is that we stand side by side
with man-nOt seeking favors on the
| score of wOmanhoOd, but determined
| TO rise or fall on our merits alone. Spe-
cial training is required to fit us for
such a task, and the young woman who
while still almost a child enters the
matrimonial state finds that the ties of
| home and family bind her more closely
than the tire Of the wagons wheel en-
circles the spokes. Properly to prepare
a woman for life's work as a bread
Il
on her part. This possibly accounts for
| the late marriages among this class.
1t sometimes happens also that long
| engagements become a matter OF neces-
sity rather than of choice. for while the
| affinity may be strong the pockets often
| are weak. Occasionally such agree
ments continue for so many years that
| death carries off one of the parties. and
| the remaining member plods his or her
weary way alone.
Life is at best but a dream. and a
| feverish one at that 1t is composed of
| hills and valleys with intermittent sun
| shine. The lives Of the rich can be
| made no criterion for the poor The
/ lovemaling OF the one is totally differ
! ent from that Of the other. Wealth
] gains privileges and concessions which
| the lack Of it debars. The rich girl
| when she meets what she supposes to
| be her alter ego. does not stop to probe
/ beneath the surface and bring to light
| the mans innate characteristics This
| with her ceases TO become a necessity
/ and she looks only to the dashing man
| ners and gay repartee Of her polished
| sutton Marriages among this class
| therefore, are often hastily entered into
| and repented Of at leisure.
The young girl of poor but no less re-
| spectacle parents is forced to view the
| matter I'm a different light. Having lit
| tie or no money OF her own, she must
! perforce look into the character of the
| man into whose keeping she contem-
plates committing herself. In such in
] stances engagements extending over one
4 two or even three years are to be com