davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
A Rash Young Man Who Refused to Be
 Advised.

A Rash Young Man Who Refused to Be
 Advised.
 DRAMATIC.-Two weeks ago, when the advertising agent of the Shakespearean Comedy company reached this town to ar range for a date, we attempted to have a fatherly talk with him. He wore plug hat and a long overcoat trimmed with sealskin and carried a cane, and he escap- ed simply because all the boys were over at Lone Tree that day at the turkey shoot. As editor, mayor, senator and the owner of the opera house we think we know the taste of our people in the dramatic line. When we learned that his company would be billed to play 'The Lightning Express" which play we do not believe MT. Shake speare ever heard of, we asked to see a syn opsis. The fur trimmed young man did not happen to have one in his bootleg, but pompously assured us that it would be sure to catch the house. We told him that it was usual to leave deadhead tickets for old Bill Parker, Enos White, Bill Phelps, Grizzly Jack and the half dozen other crit ics who always begin shooting at the drop curtain at quarter before if they have to pay their way in, but he went away without doing it.
 Tuesday afternoon, when the company of seven people arrived here, we called on the leading man and expressed our fears and offered to have a mule team in the alley back of the theater to get his people away when the climax came. He inti- mated to us that he had played before the crowned heads of Europe and knew his gait. We could only leave him to rush blindly on to destruction. He was mak- ing the mistake of his life when he thought he could impose on our people. At pre- cisely 7:3O o'clock old Bill Parker and his crowd filed in and took front seats. At precisely 15 minutes to they began shoot
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20

between the young lady and myself are those of a very cool friendship. Like all jealous people, your son is torturing himself with an illusion, for certainly have no such good fortune as he attrib- utes to me. As for his health, winch worries you, doubtless you could find in one of those same big books you men, tion this sentence: Men have died and worms have eaten them, but not for love- Comforting, isn't it? For the rest, if your son has the good sense to return to regular hours and steady hab- its, he may, Ss you say, make his way in the world-even to becoming presi- dent of this great republican of bank. All things considered. I advise the latter. There is more money in it."
 'Thank you, my good young gentle man; you are very kind" The with cred face was aglow with satisfaction. And, sir,' she added in wheedling, confidential tone, you think it may be Matthew she cares for, after all?'
 Why not indeed? But" he said, changing his tone abruptly, we have discussed the subject sufficiently. Now I must ask you to excuse me-" He went to his horse and remounted it. Wait here few minutes, and I will send carriage 10 take you home.'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
love the drama, but 1t must be the real quill and no adulteration,
An Educational Tragedy.

As I stood talking with a colored man in front of his cabin, which was not over 100 feet from the railroad track, I noticed his mule working down the road toward the track and said:
 eff that's your animal, you'd better get hold of him before train comes along" "Ho, ho, hop he laughed in reply. "Doan' yo' fret bout dat mewl! Oats an eddecated mewl, he ar. He kin dun tell train time same as any pusson. He'll stand on dat crossin till jist three minits befo' de train cums along, an den he'll walk off as consistently as yo' please"
 Ibid he educate himself?" I asked.
 ''Mostly eddecated hisself, sah, though helped him leetle. dun told him dat de passenger train we1rt by at II o'clock, an he hain't forgot it."
 ''What is the object of it?''
 "Objick! Ohl I jist want dat mewl to injoy hisself. I hain't got no work fur him jist now, an if he wants to go down an stand on de track bain t gwine to be- grudge him."
 He was giving me directions about the road to Wetumpka, and both of us had our backs to the mule, when we heard sharp toot! tootl toot and had only time to turn around when the locomotive of train struck the mule and sent him sky hiSA eO AdAA All O hCt1p dltSE Guc UTdlu udO passed.
 "Shool'' shouted the man as he fum bled in his vest pocket and dragged out bat tered old silver watch.
 "Is it II o'clock?" asked.
 ''No, sah-no, sah-dun lacks most half an hour yitr'
 "Then that was special train, and your educated mule"--
 My eddecated mewl didn't dun know muffin 'cep de reg'lar time table," he fin ished. "Shoo Hu Jist frowed him right up mile high an killed him stun dead!" We walked down to the spot in silence. The mule was there, and there was no doubt of his being dead. In fact, his head was separated from his body by a distance of 20 feet.
 "Well9" I queried as we gazed at the remains.
 "Waal, boss," he replied, with sigh, II hain't dun got muffin to say, 'cept it ar my opinyun dat de cause of eddecation in de stait of Alabama has received precip- itous tragedy dat it won't rekiver tram fur de next 50 vars to cump'
 M. QUAD.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
ovERsHADowlNG A WHALE.

The Owner of g Genuine Trunk Proves
 Himself & Rig Man. A fat, pompous looking colored man, wearing a silk hat and broadcloth suit and sporting a big watch chain, was mak- ing inquiries around the depot about Q trunk when the negro porter stepped up to him and asked; t
 "Am yo' de pusson who has lost a chist?''
 "A chistr A chisti Who's talkM bout 8 chist?" scornfully demanded the fat man.
 "Mebbe it was a boxi"
 "what got to do wid box, sahs" "Was 1t trunkP'
 ''Yes, sah, of co'sei What yo' dun s'pose I want of a chist or boxf'
 t'Reg'lar trunk wid 8 lock on iti'' s.Yes, sah l''
 .'Hev strap an two hingess" "Yes, sah."
 AtDidn't hev yo'r name painted on de sand, did its"
 ssOf co'se it didi Boy, what yo' ask rle all desc uueshuns furs"
 ,'But was dar anything in dat trunken
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
MYo1r ARE Goop ENouGH FOR ME. J

"YoU ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR NIB" pad, liver pad, six bottles of stomach bitters and lot of lozengers and troches. It is only money thrown away. Nothing ails you. You are simply led away by whim, and I hope''--
 'Whimr Led away" repeated Mir. Bow ser. Mrs. Bowser, do you mean to inti- mate that don't know what I want?"
 "No, no, dear, but you see you imagine that this or that ails you, and you''--
 II imagine these things, do I? I imagine them and then rush off like a fool and buy curel Did I buy that lung pad to check consumption in it's incipient stage, that might be spared to my family, or simply to throw away six good dollars? Idle fancies Led awayr'
 "Well, let's drop the whole subject" said Mrs. Bowser as she felt the ground shaking. ''If anything ails your liver. you want remedy, of course."
 "If anything ails my liver! If my liver was all right, would 1 be ass enough to buy liver pad? Perhaps my head Is stuffed with sawdust It's wonder that a certain person hasn't applied to the courts to have me sent to an idiot asy- lump
 "But you were saying that had such good judgment, and that if you had lis tened to me you 'd''--
 "Never said thing of the sorti That's the way with you and all other wives. A husband admits that he might possibly have done better in one single instance, and then they jump in and try to make out that he doesn' t know enough to pound sand. Who runs my lungs, my liver and my stomach? Who Is the best judge of what ails 'eml Nothing ails me, eha I am simply led away by idle fancies, the same as born idiot''
 "You know I didn't mean it that way, dear"
 Mrs. Bowser, had a whim that we might put in a couple of weeks at the seashore next summer. We don't putt I imagined that you would want about $500 to fix up your wardrobe, but we don't fixl When a mans own wife looks upon him as driveling idiot, it is time he struck another job.''
 "Mr. Bowser, when you called yourself cantankerous old crank and kicker-when you admitted that you had made dozen bad mistakes-when you"-
 "I a crank and kickerp, he shouted as his ears twitched and his neck reddened "I admit that have made a dozen bad mistakes Mrs. Bowser, it is 900 miles to your mothers homel There are four trains per dayi It is yet early in the evening, 'and you will have time to pack your trunks to catch the first train in the morning. Your lawyer can open correspondence with mine as soon as you see fit. I have been seized with a whim to go to bedl Good night, Mrs. Bowser-good nightp'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20

ment. Attention is called to dressing gown of pleasing style, but as easily put on as an ordinary bedroom wrapper.
 It is so shaped in front that it only re- quires to be crossed over and the cord tied. This will keep it together. A large hook and eye can be placed under the revers to keep it close at the neck if wished. It can be made in one of the new fancy light wool fabrics, and the facings could be in plain material to cor respond. A more dressy gown can be made in cashmere and silk. The gown takes six yards of double width material and can be lined or not.
 French cashmeres that are now sold so cheaply make charming house gowns and dresses for informal occasions in the evening, when chosen in light gray, mauve, nile green, cerise or pale yellow shades. For warm days in summer the pretty figured French challls afford an admirable material, being almost as cool as lawn and more serviceable. Then, too, the challis do not have to be laun- dered
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20

''He is ICrscking himself because he thinks
 she tOreS UOu-"
 into his head to hate me? It is true tn re were wrongs and mistakes on my part, and up to certain point North was right. But have already granted all that was demanded, and the respect able portion of the men are at work again. Many of those honest fellows are in danger of their lives at this mo- ment because your son and his rabble refuse to allow me to provide for their safety. If anything happens to them, the blame will rest upon his shoulders. 7" The woman had made feeble attempts to interrupt him several times while he was speaking, and she now said: But, my good gentleman, you don't under stand. It is not the mines; it is her."
 Monckton bit his lip. "Doyou think we had better go into that?' he asked, with a constrained smile. II hardly believe your son would approve"
 No, ro," replied the woman in a frightened whisper; he would be fit to kill. he is that wild about her. But I'm his mother, sir. l rocked him in his little cradle, and I can't sit quiet and see him dying by inches. He loves her''-in the extremity of her agitation she ventured to lay one shaking hand upon the young mans arm-"far dear CT than he ever loved his own mother that brought him into the world; he does indeed, sir, and he is wrecking himself, body and soul, because he thinks she loves you."
 And suppose that he is right, he said, with cold smile; you ask me to go away and give up my one chance of lifelong happiness for the sake of man who has always shown himself my bit ter and uncompromising enemy?"
 ''He is my son." she replied, as if that were an all sufficient answer. She fixed her pale, watery eyes upon him appealingly. Matthew is handsome and young; he has talent and will make his way in the world. You should see his drawings, and as for reading" -she strengthened her slight figure proudly-"th largest books are noth ing to Matthew. Sir, if you were to go away, she would forget you in time, and my son"--
 Enough of this, " interrupted Monck- ton almost roughly. Then, seeing how the poor creature covered and shivered under his glance. he added, 80 far as am concerned, you may set your mind at rest. The only relations subsisting
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
persisted the porter as his demeanor be came more submissive.
 s'Of co'se dar wasl'' indignantly replied the other as he removed his hat to wipe

 his forehead with red silk handkerchief ''Why, sah, if dat ar trunk am lost it will cost dis railroad at least $50r'
 "Yo' doan' tell me! Yo'll walk right up an see de superintendent?"
 1T will.''
 "An mebbe de president?"
 "Yes, sah. Now yo' go on an find dat trunk! I hain't gut no time to was' aroun yere. I got to be at de bank in half an hour"
 "Hu! Got t be at de bank, eh?'' ''An later on I hev got to close up a land deal"
 "Hu! Buyin land, eh?"
 "An dis eavenin I deliber a lecture in Apollo hall on de Progress of Civiliza- shun.'"
 "Hu! Fo' de Lawd! Say, kin yo' jest step aroun de co her wid me to my house?" "What fur?''
 'Kase I want my ole woman to see yo'. A man brought de skeleton of a whale frew yere last week, but she was sick an didn't git to see it. I told her sunthin bigger'n a whale would be comin along purity soon, an it has dun arrove, an doan' want her to be disappointed againl Bigger'n a whale! Hu! No wonder dey had to put an extra ingine on yo'r train an den come in wid hot box on ebery carp
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Co.OperatiVeTailOring
 Company. l50 South Main St.,

With the opening of the Spring Season We would call attention to one of the finest selections of Imported and Domestic WooIens ever placed be. fore the public.
 Determined to merit a continuance of the pat. ronaoe so literally bestow. ed on us in the past, We shall continue to lead in the making of Garments in Excellence of Quality. and Moderation of Price.
 For instance, our 2O44 is a fine Clay Diagonal in deep black or blue black, ot which We will make Suits toorder in the most approved style and perfect workmanship for $25. a Our 2O38 and 2O2o are respectively a fine i'm. ported Vale Diagonal and Birds Eye Worsted, of which We shall make up suits in same manner, and for the same price.
 Our 2187, 2177, 2O8o 2OoO, and a great many others, are strictly all wool black Tidoits, Chev. tot or fancy Cassimeres of which we'll make up Suits to order from SIS to PAO.
 Realizing that We have just passed through a serious business depres. sion, and that it would therefore be inconsistent for some of our patrons topay for a suit of Clothes all at one time, We will in the future, as in the past Deliver Garments on small week |y payments.
 ;ng-By request of great many of our patrons we have arranged for department where we will do Repairing sCleaning and Pressing of Garments at the Lowest Prices and at the shortest notice
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20

RCh nese Laundry Check is a Lottery Ticket, Capital Prize, Leorosy.
 Sensible PeoD e do not buy Lottery Tickets. Neither do they oatronize a Chinese Laun- dry Have your work done by the Waterbury Steam Laundry, " s5fsssi SsRei
 Avoid all Risks.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Deciding on q Name.

Society Matron-Oh, MT. Wrigley, want you to tell me what to name the dearest sweetest. darlingest, cuuningest little fel- low that ever was. He's about 3 weeks old now. and we can't agree on a name for him.
 Elderly Friend-How would Benjamin Franklin do?
 1T don't think that would do at all"
 "Well, there's no better name than George Washington, the name borne by the Father of His''--
 That wouldn't do either. I want some name not so common. Can't you think of something with a kind of smooth, flowing, distinguished sound about it? Something like Montmorency or Roncesvailes or De Mortimer, and yet less common than those?"
 If none of the names that have been mentioned is not good enough for him, Mrs. Brown-Ferguson, he must be a remarkable boy indeed, and'-
 Boy? He isn't boy at all. He's a deal little poodle. ."-Chicago Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
ACROSS THE TABLE.

Across the table as the bright And sparkling wine is poured, Inotice with intense delight She acts supremely bored, As idly toying with her glass, To watch the bubbles rise, She gives the absent smiles which pass For bright and apt replies, Until the dull, despairing Jones Grows eloquent indeed And speaks to her in eager tones She cannot choose but heed. While can only sit and choke And grind my teeth to hear The scoundrel pour my finest joke Into her shell-like ear!
 Harry ROmaine in Vogue.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
DRESSING GOWNS.
House Gowns For Informal Occasiors-A
 Convenient Pattern.

The tea gown, which originally sug- gested comfort and simplicity, is now an ornate affair, often as irksome to wear and difficult to make as a fashionable dress. With this state of affairs the dressing gown becomes useful addition, and every womans wardrobe should have at least one of these negligee gar ments.
 Let the dressing gown remain thing of comfort. Its greatest charm now is that it may be slipped on and off in mo-
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
[Copyright, 1894, by Charles B. Lewis.l

Himself.
 [Copyright, 1894, by Charles B. Lewis.1
 II was just thinking" said MT. Bowser as he laid aside his paper the other even- ing, "how foolish it is for men to strive for money beyond a certain point"
 "Yes," quietly replied Mrs. Bowser as she looked up and wondered what was coming.
 "Take our case, for instance. While wa are not rich we take solid comfort. We have all the necessaries and many of tho luxuries. If we were worth $10,000, ,000, you could not be more loving or devoted wife"
 'tDo you really think SOP" she asked, and a smile of pleasure rested on her face.
 'tThink so! You bet do! You are the best and the dearest little woman in all this world, and I am cantankerous old crank and kicker.'
 "You are a good man, MT. Bowser."
 "No, I ain't! Pm obstinate, selfish and cranky, and 1 sometimes wonder why you don't run away and leave me. I wish were better man."
 "You are good enough for me-" said Mrs. Bowser as she went over and patted his bald head and kissed his left ear.
 "But I'm always blaming you, while you are never to blame. Don't you re- member my buying that horse?"
 "Yes, dear"
 "You warned me that I'd regret it, but 1 would buy him, and I lost clean $100 and came near breaking my neck. Then got the crazy idea of keeping a COW, and Twas $25 out on that deal. Then bought a pig; then I got the chicken fever; then had the back yard plowed up for a gar den; then I invested in a fire escape; then"--
 "Never mind, dear,' she interrupted as she fondled his chin.
 But can't help but mind, " he persist ed ''Think of the idea of my investing $10 in that microbe destroyer when there wasn't blamed microbe within % miles of our house! And then paid S15 for family medicine chest and nearly poison ed the whole of us with the first dose! Mrs. Bowser, if I had listened to you-if all husbands had the sense to listen to their wives-I'd have been heap better off
 "Do you really think so?'
 ''I know it and am free to confess it."
 'Then, dear, I want to tell you some thing"
 "Crack ahead. It will be hard, common sense, whatever it is.''
 "Won't you please get over those idle fancies in regard to your health? In the last two weeks you have bought lung
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Guilty,

Justice-An the prisoner sold his vote! Candidate-He did, yer honor.
 Justice-How much did he get fer it2 Candidate-Fifty cents.
 Justice-I reckon I'll commit him fe1 cuttir prices. Amt been vote sold in this community ill 10 years for less'n a dollar an half!- Atlanta Constitution.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Too Far.

Skidds-I suppose it's all right to call spade spade, but
 Skadds-But what?
 Skidds (with a sad remembrance of having tried to beat 8 flush with two small pairs the night before)--A man IS blooming chump to call five of them. Buffalo Courier.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
A Cheerful Reflection.

Stokes-What makes you so happy?
 Murray Hill-Tve been looking all day for home in the country.
 Stokes-And you found something that just suited you, suppose.
 Murray Hill-No, but I feel happy to think don't have to live in any of the places saw.-Brooklyn Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Why He Was Haata.

"Hold on," said Brown to an acquaint- ance the other morning, "I want to speak to you"
 ''Sorry," said the other, "but really, old man, must hurry to the office. Can't wait 8 minute"
 "You don't mean to say," said Brown, s'that you have business enough to put you in such a rush2"
 "Businessf Who said anything about business? There are four of us in the of Ace and only three chairs. If don't get down there right of, I shall have to stand = al da~ Ia. tas"-Wnshington Star.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Has No Equal.
WaterburyFire Alarm
 IOCATTON OF RONFS

 The following are the Fire Alarm Signals Inder the new system: I-a Rngers t Bru-'
 I-3 Cor East Main and Niagara streets. I-4 Cor East Main and Wolcut' rad. Is Cor High and Walnut streets -l-s Cor East Main and Cherry streets. IT Cor East Main and Gle streets 2-I Cor North Elm and HingShurT streets. e-s Cor North Elm. North Main and Grove
 streets
 i-4 Waterbury Manufacturing company 2s Cor North Main and North streets. l-5 Or Buckingham and Coke streets. - Cur Gr,,ve and Prospect streets e-s Cor Hillside avenue and Pine street. --s Or Johnson and WatervilIe streets .I-2 The Platt Bros Co., lt Waterbury Clock company movement
 ment factoryl-'
 ENchau-e place. s-a Cor West Main and Willow streets s-4 Cor West Main and WatertOwn roadl 3-s Hor~e Car Railroad stable!' .-s Waterbury Bra~s company s-7 Cor Cedar and Meadow streets. 3-s Cor Grand and Field streets s-1-2 Cor Bank and Meadow streets. s-l-s Randolph X Cloves s-1-4 Plume < Atwood Manufacturing com
 Pany-' sa-2 Holmes. Booth < Haydens' s-a-t Cor Charles and Porter streets Gas Cor Simons street and Washington ave Cor South Main and Grand streets .-9 Cor south Main and Clay streets. 4-s Waterbury Watch company t. Benedict < Burnham Manufacturing
 company kS Waterbury Buckle comrany- 4-7 Cor South Main and Washington sts. s Seoviu Manufacturing company s-a Cor Franklin and Union streets s-s Waterbury Clock Co. lease factoryl s4 Cor Clay and Mill streets. sA Cor Liberty and River streets ST No Hose House s-s Cor BaIi<in aud StOne.streets
 Cor Bridge and Masiu streets a Ger DOolirtIe alley and Dublin leet -" Private
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
A Good Customer.

Small Boy (to grocer)-If you please, Mir. Wellby, my mother wants to know if you will give her an almanac.
 Grocer Cleaning over the counter)-But, my little man, your mother does not get her groceries here.
 Small Boy-No, Mir. Wellby, but we bor- row your rwheelbarrow!-Tit-B
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
MIR. BOWSER OWNS UP
HE TELLS HIS WIFE WHAT A CANTAN.
 KEROUS OLD CRANK HE IS.

And Under the Influence of His Mood Mrs. Bowser Makes Bold to Criticise Him IE a Mild way-Then Bowser Repudiates Himself.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
The Day After the Burglary.

Detective-Yes, I've got the description of the missing jewelry written down all right Now, how much money did the fel- lows take?
 Mir. Billus-I don't know exactly. Ma ria, my dear, how much money was there in my pockets last night?-Chicago Trib- une.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
AnrOnOS.

Young Mother-Baby is somewhat cross today. He is teething.
 Bachelc" Gin great we of the mite of hu- manity)-And when do you expect him to -hairing?-Vogue.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Rereft.

No place had he to tarry- Oh, woeful was his plightl And yet he kept insisting He was feeling out of site.
 Detroit Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
The Annnal Problem,

In silence the family are sitting, Each keeping as still as mouse, As they ponder the annual question, "Is it better to move or clean house?"
 Washington Star.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
In Philadelphia.

Nell-What are you reading? Belle-"AN Model Man." It's dread fully stupid.
 Nell-Yes. They usually are.-Phila- delphia Record.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
Knew His Business.

Young Clerk-These lady's shoes are get ting shopworn. Shall I mark down their pricei
 Head Clerk-No. Mark down the size. Hallo.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
SaferbuFY Boiler Works.

,,j V E R R. formerly the Waterbury Male s5Ie Iron Cn gr1unis) an | being practical B Her Maker an prepared to do all nds or R,iis- Water Tank -uanke Stack. Tar Heating PrrIsc.s A1aeaIrng Pans. P ate and Sheet Iron T-1rk of all Des.ri ytiO1s- Orders by mail will receive prompt ettentiOn
 LANES T DUFFY.