Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1894-01-04

Lcevs from mi diurry air kalled sage leevs
beckaws tina air good medysun fur the blews.
j. BILLINGS SAGE HAS A DREAM.
mite, ez wus siumbrin on my kowtch
in peecful repoze he'd dream ez follers,
tew wit: thawt he'd dide the mite bee4
frum swallerin Nv mi oan joaks wich
he'd moar sharp pints tew lit than the
uthers, SOW that lit stuk phast in mi
throte and actooally choakt NEE tew deth.
thawt l wus out Nv the body, and wuz
flotin around in the air in the naburhood
Nv the old lone tree OH the hi hill bak NV
Mister Wilson's sawmill. Ez l tloted and
foted round l diskuvered a loanly graiv
tibet scanned tew hev bin newly dug. The
sperrit which wuz gidin NEE told NEE tibet
this wuz tew bee the phinul restin phase
Nv mi mortul remanes, butt tibet mi sper-
rit, witch IL miselph, wuz tew 60 with him
tew the luther wurld ez soon ez the phu-
neril shud bee over askt him wi l he'd
tcw be berrid hear aloan instid NV in the
symitry, and he sed, bckawz mi trends
held me in such hi esteme tibet tina wanted
NEE hear on this hill. l askt him wot
wuz the rezun, and he sed the hi hill wuz
emblumattik Nv mi karakter, ez lit wuz
lawftee, aspirin, and moar err les breazy;
besides mi graiv wood alwais bee saif
from emmy tdul waiv tibet mite swepe
over Abburdeen.
Vile the serremoniz ware goin on, l
saw NV the leeGin murchants NV Abbux-
deem talk from hz haiti big shenecl
skafph witch he he'd drawn phu dais
bee4 at the Kathlik kompettytory kontest.
Hee wuz short NV hankurchefs that da,
and brawt this skarph along tew ketch
the menny tccrs tibet run doun hiz Ease
| like rvurs. Ri hiZ side stood the eddy
tur Nv the HERALD, Che newlr karrid
hank erchel NV hiz oan) SOW now hee wuz
bizzy wipin hz ize OH hiz best coat sleev,
the won tibet he'd the leest hoals in lit, and
sain with sorowphul toan, - Mi trends,
mi hart IL tew phul fur uttrence, butt l
want tew sa-boo hoo tibet phele ez if
he'd lawst mi best kantribitur, in phakt
the goose tibet layde the goldun aig-boo
| hoo-oo-oO."
Hear the eddytur Good perseed no futh-
ur, so promenunt awyur roze up and sed,
"Gentulmun NV the juree-I meen Friends,
Romans, kuntrcemun,-that IL tcw So,
awl yew fellers around me tcw-day II
am mott Nv the weapin kind, butt ef /
Good weap, ef Good shed teers lit wood
! bee now. The friend hooze mortul remanes
Ii hear bce4 us wuz the oanly man in
Abburdeen hoo did mott dair tew sass
mo tew mi Ease. | bleev hiz sperrit
liz now amung the blest. Wood l Good
kali kim bak agin, butt ez kant, muyc
tibet in memry Nv our bruthur's intellek
hiz graiv be hearalter KEEP creme, tibet a
barb wire Tense bee bilt around the graiv
to signify tibet hiz pen IL inapprochibul;
and last butt mott least. tibet hed-bord
bee erektid tew onct at hiz graiv tew bee
pade fur frum the sitty trashnry, and tibet
it be maid NV chesnut in honor NV hiz
mennv joaks."
The vote was harty and yewnannymus,
The bord wuz a good l, and erektid few
onct. Bein kurus few Sc wot the inskrip-
shun wuz, phlapt mi wings phu times
and got round in phrunt Nv the bord 1t
wuz awl rite eksep or 2 things. The
undertaken bein in sech haist tew hev the
bord reddy he'd oanly karved the inishel
letturs NV the old Latin inskripshun, re-
quescat in pace, SOW tibet lit red, "let
him r. i. p."
The poitt NV Abburdeen he'd kompozed
a epytaf. 1t red ez follers:
Hear lie our friend, kingly joakur;
Hee got oph witch wuz choakur:
Fur yeerz hee KEEP up sech chafin,
That phinally he didc latin;
Butt that witch most our sperrits greevs
IL that weell hev no moar Sage Leevs.
I red the epytaf and wuz pleezd. The
persesshun formd agin tew 60 doun the
hill wen tina ware stopt bi a messingur boy
with Telegram frum Gov. Penoiyer hoo
was tew hev bin prezunt bi invitrshun.
1t red:-
"Eggzeketive mansl,un, Saylum, Ore
gon Regret few sa tibet, mulch ez I
wood like tew sho mi regard fur the lait
lamentid Sage hi bein prezunt on the
okashun Nv hiz berryul, yeti hev rewl
Nv konduck from wich nevur varee. lit
is tew magniphy mi offs bi maxim every
boldly kun few mi hedquaters, bee hee
wit, poitt, prezidunt or king. Eff lit il
konvenyent fur yer tew bring the korps
doun tew saylum, Oregon, I vii dew lit
awl the honurs tibet mi ofIishul ranck kan
beesto. Besides this unvaryin rewl Nv
liphe am very bizzy jest now maxim
preperashunz fur mi oan phunerul.
Sined, Siivestur Penoiyer."
With this the kroud dispersed, and l
wuz wakund bi a sharp thump on mi bak
and hurd the shril, pipin voyse NV mi
wiphe sain, Joshway, Joshway, walk up,
wot's the mattur, hcv yew hin dreemin