Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-02-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Worldly wise-Geographers.
There's the rub-At the Turkish
bath.
Gossip of the ring-Society chatter
over an engagement. Truth.
When you bury your grudges do
not erect tall monument over them.
Galveston News.
Some men are the architects of their
own fortunes others only carry the
hod to theirs Puck.
Johnny, is your father firm
man?" ''Yes, MON, when he knows
he's wrong. cleveland Plain Dealer.
THAT fellow Jawley is broker,
isn't he?" eyes" elias he any
money!" "Yes-he's got mine. -
Life.
The trouble with the family tree
is that its latest twigs put on the
greatest air of self-importance.
Truth.
Somehow or other people always
distrust man who is generally known
to dye his whiskers. -Someryille
|. journal.
Although the relations between
France and Germany are strained they
don't seem to be very clear. Texas
Siftings.
Lloyd lat dinner) Mamma, what
makes us eat soup first, then fish? is
it so the fish can go in swimming. =
Babyhood.
Be modest; don't forget that many
things which you regard as events are
looked upon as mere incidents by
other people. Puck.
Aunty-''So you have had your first
meal at your new boarding place. Was
it course dinner" Little Girl
"Awfully Good News
Some genius has invented an indoor
game of baseball. This goes to show
that the game is not altogether played
out Hartford journal.
Bride ''Why do they give us so
many things we are too poor to use?'
Groom" eyes; this cookbook, for in
stance? ?'-Detroit Tribune.
Il enjoyed the ser 1 to-day more
than any l have hear q six months"
Mrs Seequick-'I ur new cloak
sealskin or beaver?" ?"--Inter-O Ocean.
''What is the correct English of it?
Do you collect bill or collect debt?"
'The English of it is you can't do
either just now. st. Louis Republic.
Maud-'I've made a splendid reso'
| luton" Guinevere--''What is lt?
Maud-'I've determined to leave off
getting engaged. Chicago Record
The boy stood onthe icy walk,
Whence all but him had slid
Zip went his heels, up went his feet,
And ''wow-wow' went the kid.
Binghamton Republican.
''Money talks, remarked the bust
ness man, who was ruefully contem
plating lot of idle capital; 'but il
doesn't talk i'll its sleep. Washing
/ ton Star.
/ Miss Porkopolis-"Is it true that
all Bostonians live ON baked beaus?"
| Mrs. Beaconstreete--''Oh no lots OF
them live ON their relatives. '-Somer
vile journal.
Father Well, young man, | un'
derstand, then, that you love my
daughter?" Nervous Youth IN IN.
no, sir, l wish TO marry her. Chi
cago Inter-Ocean.
Philanthropist --"Nou say you are
keeping "a lookout for work? TheI
why cant You get work. Wear,
! Willvum That's not what I'm keep
I ing the lookout for. w. Chicago Record
Hoax-'I hear Hamphat has just
received "a legacy OF u million dollars
Z Joax YES, and that makes him at
once the richest and the poorest actor
ia the profession. "- PhiladelPhis
( Record.
Kangaroo "lts your ivory thf
hunters are always after Why don1
Won carry Il ia your trunk Ele
! phant Its your skin they want
Why dom you hiio u iuyour pouch. .
Chicago Tribune.
''She had az pretty "a uamc a. evet
1 heard u was Marjorie Mayhlossoni
+ bat she had u changed. Changed
"ies, bs las Good gracious
What did She have IL changed taF
Mr. Marjorie smith. New fers
Press
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