Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-07-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A game bird-The shuttlecock. -
Truth.
1t may also be said that homeliness
is only skin deep. Puck.
The man who plays football, only
has fighting chance for his life.
The man who lost his temper wasn't
proud of the article when he found it.
Some men are in the hands OF law
yer or doctor all the time. .-Atchison
Globe.
Talent is the ability to make use Of
the results of some one else's genius.
Puck.
The greatest organ in the world
with no stops-woman's voice. Low.
ell Courier.
Whenever man makes good guess
he begins to talk about his good judg-
ment. Puck.
A hint to the wise is sufficient, pro-
vided the wise are disposed to take it.
Galveston News.
When man is beside himself he
should not place much dependence on
his companion. PUCK.
Usually when woman's ear begins
to burn she is talking about some
body. dy.-Galveston News.
1t is mighty good boy who likes
to have his school teacher meet his
parents Boston Transcript.
One of the greatest pleasures in life
is found in counting the money one IL
about to make. Galveston News.
He madly loved lass, alas
Who was to him averse - ''
Because there was a lack, alacE
OF money in his purse. ~,
Kansas City. Journal.
There is much tenderness in this
seemingly cruel world but the butcher
rarely finds il. it.-Cleveland Plain Deal.
er. -
Pathos sometimes Is very near to
humor; and some peoples htt1hor is
very near, to pathos. .SomervffieJ our.
nal.
To learn to play the trombone it is
necessary to have good lungs and
indulgent neighbors. = Philadelphis
Record.
A great many persons have been
kept from making their mark in this
world by copy books. Chicago In
terOcean. "'
Muriel-''And how are you getting
on with that Boston girl?' lack
"Swimmingly. I've succeeded in
breaking the ice. Harlem Life.
Lover-'I assure you, Herr Meyer,
cannot live without your daughter
Herr Meyer-"Oh, you overestimate
my income. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
Her brow was like the snowdrift,
Her throat was like the swan
When she'd bought complexion powders
And strewed them thickly on. tl
Chicago Tribune.
She-"I believe the affection you
professed for me was all put on.'h He
--"Same as your complexion WIS in
those days. eh?'-Indianapolis jour
nal
Little boy, doesn't it pain. you to
see an elderly woman hanging ON toa
strap" Boy (keeping his seat -
Nom, less it's my ma. Boston
Journal.
When woman puts on II nice apron
around the house to save her dress,
she puts on another apron ON top of
that to save the nice apron. -Atchi
son Globe.
Rose Harry has such a cheerful
disposition lie never borrows trou-
bic. Daisy ~ have been told
he makes an exception of that -
Harlem Life.
he-''lhey are not on speaking
terms. You know She why, they
are dead in love with each other
He-"For that reason they don't
speak they Just sit snd gaze at each
other, Philadelphia Call.
Mabel "papa is getting anxious
about yunr calls, Yesterday he want
ed tu know who you we're AdoreT
-"t'm say. Mabel, il d. mentions
the suhlect ssain tell hlm yoa heard
me gramhlae aboat high taNes -
New YORK Meekly
Mary Jans. sa.d the rector sol
emaly, "ihe steak is cooked g. a ctisp
Anl The potatoes ATE gas iou have
left undons The lhiaas that sarhi %
bee daue, aad cooked ioo aaae the
things that aaeht aai O. be done
lnafaaspolis l4Hrasi
sunday Aaraiua Vile Noms.
lohns shY aea YHa srl az luaf
breakfast 80 fraay "a hoar asn. AL
"A Ne spallssl - this llase llashaHI
L uf fsff vsA thea ! ioHt