Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
TUMOR OF THE WEEK
TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.
Sprinkles OF Spice.

Sprinkles OF Spice.
A CHEAP summer trip-On a ba1
mana skin.-Philadelph Record.
No MAN and his wife ever agreedI
on the money question. "A tchison
Globe
THE wheelwright ought to make
a good spokesman .-Philadeiphia
Record.
II is passing strange that soft coal
hould be so hard-to get. Buffalo
Express.
GABRIEL holding the trump Will
simply order the others up-Phila-
delphia Times
WHEN man is fired he feels a
GOODNESS toward his late employees
Boston Transcript.
WHY is a hexameter like June
bug? Because each has six feet
Fliegende Blaetter.
WoMEN's clubs seem 10 be g owing.
The broomstick used to be large
enough. Philadelphia Record.
THERE is much tenderness in this
seemingly cruel world, but the butcher
rarely finds it - Cleveland Pain
Dealer
No, MAUD, dear, the taxidermist
is not . collector of taxes, although,
he does work a skin & anne. ---Phila-
delphia Record.
WHEN an election is honeycombed
with fraud, the perpetrators should be-
made intimately acquainted with
cells. Lowell Courier.
SYMs-"Poor Robinson, I'm told,
was killed by hard drink" Singles
ayes, he was struck on the head with
a cake Of ice. Truth.
The messenger boys delight in
bali matches, notwithstanding the
fact that they abound in swift deliv-'
cries. -Yonkers Statesman.
WHILE I have not always done
my BEST" said the bookmaker, lat
least | have usually done my bet
tiers. "-Indianapolis Journal.
The information of trust by
cranberry growers is calculated to
call forth tart and saucy remarks
from consumers. Lowell Courier
CRIMsoNBEAK-Don't you see that
crimson spot over there? Bacon
You evidently can't see any further
than your nose. -YOnkers Statesman.
JUST think, Captain, the Major
has actually married the rich old
maid. obviously he wanted to
have his golden wedding at once. -
Fliegende Baetter.
COB cohse," said Uncle Eben, slime
is money. But it do beat all how
much easier It's ter glib needy fren'
two houahs' talk bout economy dan
it's ter len i'm so cents Washing
ton Star.
SHE-"And now, my dear, having
given you a bit Of my mind I'm off
to the dentist to have my tooth
filed" He--"Ask him to fill the rest
of your mouth while he's about IL. p
Boston Budget.
aDo YOU consider him man of
veracity?" "Hey?" 81 say, do you
consider him a man of veracity?"
"Well, there's no tellin' what he
might do if he was mad and Tad d
gun. Texas Siftings.
SHE-"Why is it they speak Of a
man as strong candidate? He
doesn't have to lift anything, does
hep" Hev--"Er-not exactly; but his
friends all expect him to carry the
day buffalo Courier.
ode great trouble bout CONVERSE
ton" remarked Uncle Eben, "am dat
hits impossible ter show eZ much
rio 'nality 10 talkin' bout de we1dah
o. " KIN talkin' bout yoh neigh
bors, Washington Star.
SHE-aYes, Carrie evidently thinks
Harry is superior to all mankind.
| She is forever talking about him.
| She lauds him to the sky" He
| "That is to say, she sets her beau of
promise in the heavens. Boston
| Transcript.
MAGAZINE PUBLISHER - "Arc you
| familiar with literature? For in
stance, how would you discriminate
between poetry and verse;" Appli-
cant-"If it's in the front part Of a
magazine, it poetry; If it's in the
back part, it's verse. "-Chicago Rec
ord.
PLAYwRIGHr-Is her acting nat
ural? Manager enthusiastically
Natural, When she appeared as the.
dying mother last night an insurance
! agent who has her life insured for
| $4,000, and who was in the audi
ence, actually tainted. - Pearson's
Weekly.
"YoU ought to have more sense
than to play cards all night and lose
your money" said Mrs. Snaggs TO her
| husband. at was all on account Of
! the financial situation" replied
snaggs. Il knew the other fellows
had money boarded, and wanted to
get it into circulation, but my patri-
!, otto intentions were frustrated. p
J Harlem Life