St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1894-03-01

"Terrapin a-layin on Maryland
l never knew that terrapin wuz
hen before and why is it any better
to lay on MARYLAND than anywhere
else? Mebby eggs are higher there;
wall, Maryland hain't much too big
for good sized hens nest, nor
Rhode Island neither"
Josiah Allen l whispered, deep
and solemn, IF you don't stop L will
part with you"
Folks wuz in full smoker and gig
gle by this time.
"Oh, no." SEE he loud and strong,
you don't want to part with me
till l git you fashionable dinner,
and we both cut style"
"Tenderloin of beef tryin' on
tryln' on what. I'd love to
know ?-style, most probable, this
is such stylish place"
will you be still, Josiah Allen ?"
SEE l, a-layin' holt of his vest.
NO, won't; l am tryin' to put
on style, Samantha, and buy you
| suthin' stylish to eat"
Wall, you needn't" seq 1; Il
have lost my appetite"
"Siberian Punch! Let him come
on" SEE Josiah; IF can't use my
fists equal to any dunn Siberian that
ever trod shoe leather, then I'll give
in"
The three wimmin giggled, and
the walters began to look mad and
| troubled.
English trihes-wall. 1 shouldn't
have thought they would have tried
that agin. No tri1es, SEE he
a-lookin' closer at it.
"English trifes lions tails and
cororent, mebbe-English trifes and
tutty -frutty. Do have some tutty-
frutty, Samantha, it has such a
stylish sound to 1t, so different from
good pork and beans and roast beef;
I believe you would enjoy it dearly.
Waiter" SEE he, bring on some
tutty frutty to once"
The waiter approached cautious
ly, and made motion to me, and
touched his forehead.
| He thought he wuz crazy, and he
whispered to me, rs it caused by
drinkin'? or is it natural and come
on sudden ~
Josiah heard it, and answered out
loud, ut wus caused by style, by
bein' fashionable; my only aim has
| been to get my wife fashionable
dinner, but l see it has overcome
her"
The waiter wus a good hearted
lookin' mana kind heart beat be-
low that white necktie (considera BILE
below it on the left side), and seq he
| to me-
Shall bring you a dinner, nom,
without takin' the order?"
And replied gratefully
Yes, so do" and so he brung it,
a good enough dinner for anybody
good roast beef, and potatoes and
lemon pie, and tea, and Josiah eat
hearty, and had to quiet down some
though he kept a-mournin' all
through the meal about its not be-
ing carried on fashionable and sty-
lish, and that it wuz my doin's a
breakin' it up &c, and the last thing
wantin' tutty-trutty, &c.
And paid for the meal out of my
own pocket; the waiter thought l
! had to on account OF my compan-
ions luny state, and he gin the bill
to me.
And Josiah a chucklin' over it, as
l could see for savin' his money.
And got him out of that place as
quick as l could, the bystanders or
ruther the bysetters, a laughin' or a.
lookin' pitiful at me, as their naturs
differed.
And as we wendell off down the
| broad path on the outside, SEE
You have disgraced us forever in
the eyes of the nation, Josiah Allen. ="
And he SEE: What have 1 done !?
You can't throw it in my face,
Samantha, that l hain't tried to cut
style-that l didn't try to git you
stylish meal"
l wouldn't say a word further to
him, and l never spoke once to him
that night-nOt once. only IN the
night | thought there wuz a mouse
in the room and l forgot myself and
| called on him for help.
And for three days l didn't pass
nothin' but the compliments with
/ him; he felt bad-he worships me-
He did it all to keep me from goin'
to a costly place. know what his
motives wuz-but he had mortified
me too deep From the new book
by Josiah Aliens Wife.