The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1894-01-09
PUTTING POLITICIANS.
Pat DonRn Slashes the Humbupqerv Mt
Washington.


Serious Forms at the Nations Cap.
ftGL-CO'aditions Aggravated
by the TOUdyisn1 of VuL
gar Scribblers.
Pat Donan writes from Washington
to the New York Sun as follows:
have seen the whole jamboree of
dumping one administration out and
jumping another in, except the grand
scalp dance known as an inaugural
ball, and the spectacle has not in
creased my American pride or self re.
spect.
-Four years ago I saw the vast hordes
of drunken mobocrats along Pennsyl
vania avenue bowling themselves into
grip and pneumonia for Harrison,
while nobody said Cleveland once.
This year have seen the same storm
bedraggled mob bawling itself to
hoarseness for Cleveland, while not one
wretched yeller whispered Harrison's
name.
-Four years ago the same gin mills,
dives and hasheries were hamboyant
with the same cheap and tawdry water
streaked bunting, but it was the physi-
ognomical cariCatures of Ban and Levi
that leered and smirked from amid a
tangle of. big hats and log cabins on
every balcony and banner then, in
stead OF the pictorial atrocities of
Grover and Adlai that grin in ghoulish
glee now.
Then the million mouthed watch
word of the whole hurrahing herd was
"Baby Mckee" Now it is ''Baby
Ruth"
What did the great mass of the
leather-lunged yeilers know or care
about the principles involved in the
struggle that led TO the Wholesale
swapping of governmental agureheadsl
Not one inf1nitegimal iota more than
the street car mules whose ears waved
disconsolAtely at half mast in the die
NAL tempest that always accompanies
inauguration day.
The change of administration has
already given fresh and mighty Inn
petus to the he and she slop gushers
and taffy daubers who masquerade as
journalists and press correspondents ut
Washington, and the papers all over
the country are flooded with their in
discriminate and nauseating puffery
of all sorts and conditions of male and
female official cattle at the national
capital. Their literary monstrosities
are wrought out with titanic white
wash brushes dripping with com
mingled sorghum molasses and gaudy
colored paint. Their style is bad
cross between a confectionery shop
and q scavenger cart, with a sick
aurora borealis and q paroxysm of
Mysteries thrown in.
There are masculine grinders out of
journalistic toadyism and hunkeyism
in Washington whose fulsome effusions
are enough to give any well regulated
citizen an attack of green and yellow
sea sickness at sight. The scent of
free lunch champagne and vulgar
humbuggery clings TO all their work.
The trail of the serpent of servile faWn-
ing and bamboozlement is over it all
But the worst of them is an Addisonian
model of newspaperial dignity and
propriety compared with most of their
feminine 90 laborers In the bogus
panegyric, fraudulent-g greatness and
counterfeit grace and beauty trade.
In the scribbling hands of these an
nihilators of truth, decency, common
sense and all the possibilities, every
gold plated boor and rapscallion who
has bought himself stye in the Senate;
every pot-house Shyster, slum dive
keeper and blatherskitO who has been
sentenced to two years in the house,
and every political dirty worker, ward
heeler and scrap beggar who has had
an Office of any kind or degree let down
in search of his unclean clutches be
comes at once a giant of statecraft and
patriotism, q Colossus of ability, grace
and virture, and thousand hambeau
power calcium light and 6O-ton kohl
moor of dazzling brilliancy-too ma
iestic, too glorious, too resplendent for
mortal contemplation without step
ladder and smoked glass spectacles
ANY one of them would split the molds
in which were cast Alexander, Cesar,
Demosthenes, Cicero and Cato, Wash
ington, Jefferson, Webster, Clay and
Ignatius Donnelly, all combined in one'
and leave over enough of mightlness
and illustriousness to make a score or
two of Gladstones, Bismarcks, Carl