Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-10-31


sition of trust, Ell? Cashier in a
bank? mop; manager of big in
stallment house.-Buffalo Courier.
He-Charlotte, | love you; can
you not return my affection? She
I'm afraid I'll have to, as | have
no use for it.-Pittsburg Bulletin.
He-You saw some old ruins
while in England, presume? She
Yes, indeed! And one of them
wanted to marry me.-Brooklyn
Life.
Student-"Professor, which is the
logical way of reaching a conclu-
sion?" Professor-"Take train Of
thought, my boy."-New York
Herald.
Candldate-I trust, my friend,
that you will vote for me.
Voter-What's the use of trustin',
boss, when you can pay cash?-
Free Press.
"Oh, yes; when was in England
was enthusiastically received i'll
court circles" She (snippy)-
"What was the charge against
ou?"-Judge.
Bessie-The idea of your saying
that you are only 21. Gussie--You
forget mamma told us that it is al
ways better to underate than to ex-
aggerate.-Truth.
|
Whats the difference between
conceit and self-esteem, anyhow"
"A great deal. Conceit is self-es-
TEEN belonging to somebody else."
Chicago Record.
Helen-Funny you didn't notice
that Tom had been drinking. He
talked to you quite while. Maude
Yes, but then he talked under his
reath.-Boston Transcript.
Florence-Helen says Mr.. Small
cash loves the very ground she
walks on. Harry-Jupiter! ! guess
so, it would bring a hundred thou
sand day.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Young man-Look out! There's
a mouse. The advanced young
woman (calmly)-Oh, how cum
ming. Can't you coax the little
dear out this way?-Cbicago Rec
ord
"What a perfectly charming man
Mr.. Twitter is" Maude-i never
heard him say "a clever thing. mo,
but he can move about the room
without stumbling over the rugs"
Chicago Record.
NO." said the busy merchant; |
don't care for no dictionaries to-
day." THANK you," returned the
fair book agent from Boston; show
many shall l put you down forP"-
Smith & Gray's Monthly.
Mr. Scrimp-My dear, / don't
see how you had this counterfeit
bill passed on you, Mrs. Scrimp--
Well, you don't let me see enough
real money to enable me to tell the
difference.-Harper's Bazaar.
''How's all the folks up your
way?" "Well, mother amt SO peart
now. Molly's got the measles.
Johns stove up with rheumatism,
an Dicks down with snake bite.
When air you a-comin' to see us?"
Atlanta Constitution.
Mrs. Robbins-That is nice
piece of goods. How much did you
pay for it9
Mrs. Higbee-A dollar yard
They had some for orniuety-nine cents,
but the price showed it was of an
inferior quality.-Truth.
IL tell you, women are coming to
the front" said the woman's rights
man. That's fact" said the
bawl-headed man; "there was one
in front of me at the theater last
night, and / never saw the stage
once New York Press.
"And what kind of chin has
sheP" she asked, as he paused in the
middle of an attempt at description
of her features. "A movable one,'
said he, after moments sober
thought. And then he heaved a
deep and pensive sigh.-Somerville
Journal.
Tibble--How did you manage to
get Manger to vote for our sidef
Did you convince him that on the
great political issues of the day his
party is wrong and ours rightf
Dibble-Well, it amounted to that.
| just praised his dog. Boston
Transcript.