Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1894-02-22
NUMBER %

Washington. I shall call your husband
Sam, and be will call me George or
George. Your given name is-is''--
Hammer
II will call you Han fur short. hate
formality. Now, then, Han, fly around
and git up good dinner while tell Sam
howl crossed the Delaware and licked
the British. Although great man, I git
hungry same as other folks, and nothin
| pleases me more than square meal
The wife wasn't as easily satisfied as
the husband. She winked him out into
the kitchen and shut the door and said:
Samuel. how dye know he's George
Washington"
"'Cause he says he is"
''But he looks jest like the rest Of the
tramps that cum along"
"That's cause he is in disguise. If he
amt George Washington, why would he
| lie about it? 'Tain't likely feller would
cum along and lie about his own name,
is it?"
''It don't seem So"
Mrs. Simmons put on dinner which
made Washington smile like June
morning, and he did ample justice to it.
In fact, his appetite was amazing. When
he could eat no more, he borrowed pipe
and tobacco of the farmer and stretched
/ out on the lounge for smoke. He knew
/ the weak points in the characters of the
pair, and he praised and hattered and in
vited himself to supper. After supper
he decided to stay all night, and for two
\ long hours that evening he entertained
/ the farmer and his wife with his adven-
1 lures while crossing the Delaware and
various other rivers and things After
breakfast next morning he still fingered.
4 His heels were under the table at dinner
and again at supper. After supper he
said he was 80 comfortable that he
] thought he'd stay for aweek. While the
7 farmer and his wife believed him to be
George Washington right enough, they
didn't propose to board even the Father
of his Country whole week for nothing.
They withdrew to the kitchen for con
sultation. and fortunately neighbor
named Snow happened to drop in to bor-
row some tool. The question was asked
him if George Washington was dead, and
between his surprise and merriment it
was half an hour before he learned all
the facts in the case. Then he said:
''It is sharp old tramp who has been
playing you. Go right in and drag him
off the lounge and boot him outdoorsr'
''Durn his hind buttons, but I'll break
him in four piecesr' shouted Simmons
as he realized the imposition.
''And think Of his callin me Han and
/ i 4. L.
terri walled the wife as she fell to weep
ing.
Farmer Simmons grabbed a hickory
stick from the woodbox and made rush
for the sitting room. George Washing
ton wasn't there any longer. He wasn't
even in the house. He had not only van
ished, but an overcoat, a suit Of clothes
and several articles of jewelry had van
ished with him and were mile away
and going at gallop. George" had
beenin hurry to go, but he didn't forget
what belonged to good manners. He had
left his card on the table, and on it was
written:
G. Wash, patriot and faith. of his country
& SO forth has reed a telegram to hast. his de-
part. Thanks, awfully. Will call again next
birthday. Them fried chickens was gaul-
burned goodl
Farmer Simmons pursued the crosser
of the Delaware, but could not overhaul
him. When the story got out and the
neighbors began to laugh, he tried to
crawl out Of it by saying:
THAT jest shows ye what I've allus
said and will allus stick to-that eddeca-
sbun is all bosh. If l hadn't bin SO