davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
Wise Seer and His Baby;

The philosopher retired into his cool
chamber and wrote:
Amid the stress AND tumult of all
external circumstances let your soul
remain in perfect peace and COM
posure."
Then the philosopher stood up. full
length. before his plate glass mirror,
and admired himself for the space Of
sixty minutes.
Then his wife came up and asked him
if he would like to take the baby. who
had big double tooth coming, off on a
street car excursion. II am tired and
f1ustered to death with him, ",she said.
Amid the stress and tunfult of all
main in perfect peace and composure,p
answered the philosopher. Bring on
the baby and will take him." ~.
The philosopher took the baby in the
car and stood up and held him..
AT first he weighed twenty pounds.
He soon increased to thirty, then to 100,
then to 1000 and then to a ton.
The philosopher held on to a'straps and
smiled a sweet, sad smile.
Then the baby began to howl and two
additional fat women got irs and fwo
extra horsepower pressure was brought
to bear upon the philosopher. = Z
Then the baby let himself out.
His two arms and two legs struck
out in four separate directions at the
same time. He opened his mouth until
his face was invisible and walled as ii
he were wailing by contract.
al don't see why fool of a man, who
don't know how to take care of a baby,
should want TO exhibit himself in
public" said one fat woman to- the
other. $
"He thinks he is advertising himself
as nurse" replied theother fat woman
''T'row der kid overboard," said Q
tough from Ward 10.
"a man that Will torture child that
way" said a benevolent locking man
with eyeglasses, SHOULD be taken in
hand by the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children"
HE on. hit to be hung" said the old
maid by his side.
Buried alive" said woman on ths
front seat. d
Another fat woman got on. the tenn
perature went up ten degrees and the
baby hOwled so loud THAI the motor
mans gong sounded like perfect 81
lence.
The philosophers collar wilted,. his
hat fell off and all the car rose up as Que
man and denounced him. and the baby
kept OH without even stopping to
breathe.
The philosopher jumped off at the
first stopping place and walked home
through the streets, distance of two
miles. observed by 10000 sarcastic mel
and denunciatory women.
When he got home his reason totteree
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01

"Klng Kodak" which has been con-
siderably altered and revised. on pro-
vincial tour. The play will possibly
also go to America, together with
Morocco Bound" the libretto of which
is by the same author, A. Branscomb.
Mrs. Hugh Bell, who is the wife of
the mayor of one of the large manu-
featuring towns in the North, is so we'll
and favorably known for her drawing
room comediettas, and has shown such
distinct merit in her more ambitious
efforts. that much disappointment has
been caused by the postponemento of the
MASKED Crusaders" parody of 1.-The
Masuueraders," which she was to have
produced last week at an Avenue matt
nee. The little rift within the Lutte is
understood to have been painfully EVIL
dent during the rehearsalS, and more
than one of the performers threw up
their parts.
During his forthcoming tour
IN THE PROVINCES
with Miss Kate Rorke, Forbes Robert
son will produce a new thTee-act play
entitled ''Dr. and Mrs. Neill," by Miss
Cleo Graves, one of the most prominent
lady journalists in London. Miss Graves
has gained certain notoriety owing to
her eccentric style of dress, which is eX
actly like that of man, the sacrifice
she makes to conventionality being in
the matter of skirts. In the afternoon
she wears a soft hat, which she tucks
under her arm when entering the the
ater at matinees.
Miss Fannie Brough made an excellent
chairwoman at the annual meeting of
the Ladies' Theatrical guild, which was
held last Friday at the Lyceum. She is
fluent and practical speaker, and is
often heard at the Sunday evening de-
bates at the PlaYgoers' club.
The gigantic wheel at the Earlscourt
exhibition, which will be thirty feet
larger than the Ferris wheel at the Chi
cago exhibition, is expected to be COM
pleted some time next week. The tower,
when finished, will be ITO feet high, and
the wheel itself $50 feet in diameter.
There are to be forty cars, thirty ordi-
nary and ten special, the former to ac-
commodate forty and the latter thirty
| people each.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
1Copyrighted.

Copyrighted.
The Glorious Fourth has come,
Beat the Understanding drum, pound the
tom-tom, sound the hew-gag, blow the
horn and
Let her comet
Shoot the cracker fire the pistol. punch the
eagle, made him scream;
Loudly scream!
Day of powder and torpedoes lemonade that
knows 10 lemon, ginger pop devoid of
ginger, ice cream
Innocent OF cream!
The Glorious Fourth has come.
Bang the understanding drum, sound the
tocsin, raise the war whoop, clash the
cymbals
Let her come!
Tintinnabulate the fire BELLS raise the small
boys ululation. crack the canopy with
speech,
Roaring speech!
Hear the eloquence compounded of unmix-
able ingredients, one per cent of
thought original, ninety-nine
Per cent of sore ech.
The Glorious Fourth has come,
Whack the loud reverberant drum, pound
the tin pan, beat the boiler, blow the
fish horn.
Let her come!
Tune the fife and blow the bugle, shoot the
rocket through the spheres
Dodging spheres
Let the rapid-mouthed declaimer pour his
cataract of verbals, eloquence divorced
from meaning words
Unmarried to ideas.
The Glorious Fourth has come,
Beat and pound and whack the drum PUNK
the banjo, shoot the rocket. fire the
cracker,
Let her comet
Scorcb your wbiskers, shoot your arm of,
blow large hole through your head,
Swelling head
Fire the cannon, crash your ribs in, break
your leg and save your country,
Then be carried off to bed
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
WRONGLY USED.
Difference Between a Sportsman
and Sporting Man.


and a Sporting Man.
Washington Star.
There were knot of men standing on
the street corner. One of them had Just
finished relating some experiences of
hunting excursion which he had taken
the day previous down the river.
80 you're sporting man, are you,
Jack? / never knew that before, real
ly," said one of his companions.
No, sir" said the first speaker, Il
am not a sporting man; l am a sports
man. but l am neither a sporting man
nor sport"
"lndeedl And where, pray, is the
difference"
1.-The difference? Why, great Scott,
man, there is as much distinction be-
tween a sportsman, a sporting man and
q sport as there is between a doctor, a
cannibal and thief" The speaker
glarea !. the others, but the first man
still looked Slank.'
pray define it. them" he said, after
pause.
ITO be sure. It's something that
everybody ought to know, but, unfOrt-
unately, lots of folks never take the
trouble TO learn those things. A sports
man is man who loves sport in its
trueSt sense. AT least / so consider il.
He is man who enjoys hunting, fishing
camping out, ana is commonly fond Of
other athletic amuSementS in the way
of boating, swimming, riding and the
like. He is, pardon my opinion, apt TO
be man of gentlemanly instincts and
brains.
IA sporting man is an entirely diff
ferent sort of fellow. He is one who
takes an interest in sports of different
sorts, although he may not engage in
any of them at all. He probably plays
the races, drinks hard, takes in all the
prize fights, and spends most of his
evenings when there is nothing else on
hand playing cards and whooping things
up. But a sport is on a still lower
scale. He Is fellow who thinks
he's big potatoes, when he's really
nothing but runt. He need not know
anything about sports or engage in
them either. His reputation w:il DO
won chiefly by his loud dress, his fiirta-
tions with the girls, his hanging around
saloons and his general worthleSSness.
No, sir: there are good many persons
who are proud to be called sporting men
or sports, but TO call true sportsman
by such term is little short of an in
suit. Ia, ta.''
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
Before You Go Away

Be sure and call at 1.-The Milwaukee"
offices for full information as to routes,
accommodations and lowest rates to all
points East.
c. M. & st. P. is the only electric
lighted line.
Solid vestibuled trains.
Private compartment, cars, library
buffet smoking cars, free reclining chair
cars.
Best and most frequent service be-
tween the two cities and Milwaukee and
Chicago.
The Governments Official Fast Mail
Line.
The celebrated electric berth reading
lamp.
Low summer tourist tickets to East
ern points now on sale.
Offices: 1865 Robert street, st. Paul;
Guaranty Loan Building and ''Milwau-
kee" depot, Minneapolis. or address
j. L. CoNLEY,
Assistant General Passenger Agent,
St Paul, MINI.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
Ihese dasheS are as near what the
said as dare to print.
The Hero and His Wife.

To the practices of heroes brave his life had
been conformable.
There were no deeds which they performed
which he found objectionable;
And all the aims which they pursued he said
he'd found pursuable.
And all the feats which they had done he
found were quite doable.
For any act OF bravery he said he was re-
And all achievements he would try, he
promised. that were tryable;
And any mountain he would climb if its as
/ cent was possible
And any ocean he would cross that any man
found crossable
For killing grizzly bears and such he said he
was invincible,
They could not make him dodge or vince,
because he wasn't winceable.
he Killed With perfect ease, he said, all
&, brutes and beasts discoverable-
Gne slash from his almighty hand and they
were recoverable.
His strength was most ineffable was won
drous and inscrutable,
For killing sharks and elephants pc culiarly
twas suitable:
He'd make the roaring catamount no longer
t.: recognizable,
And pnlyerized the ramping bull, and found
him pulveriZable.
In savage islands of the sea he'd fought the
- bloody caHnibal,
He d kiiledsand tanned fierce dragons Wild
ys and found them very tannable;
BE claimedin killing monstrous snakes that
he Wassvery capable,
| No boaSconstrictor could escape for he was
unacceptable.
He'd fought with hippopotami with fierce
ness inconceivable,
In ways he'd ask you TO believe were they
= not unbelievable;
No word Of fear escaped his lips, no word
aye not syllable,
| When he killed the Bengal tiger, and he
found him very killable
! His wife here entered in the store. her look
was most indomitable.
| He wilted In her scorching gaze. her fierce
ness was so formidgble;
| "Come home and tend the twins" she said,
Il wish to make you usable,"
! And, ah the way she yanked him home was
really inexcusable.
| Sa.v> lvaQhr 7eaA.
|
I Twin City Jockey Gus Races.
| Great Northern special train leaves
hotel Lafayette 1880 p. M; Mime
! apolis, LIS p. m, daily. returning after
races.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
A Dollar I'm the wallet.

a The stars they shine serener and with
greater luminosity, when fellow isn't
struggling with his impecuniosity. The
lofty sky is bluer and the meadow
grass is greener. and the ills of life are
fewer, and our life itself serener; and
we feel glorious courage and fates
cannot appa it. %hfR ~ feel the solid
from the flowers is more sweet and
odoriferous; and the zephyrs blow more
sweetly, ana our food is more nutri-
tious, and we're conscious more CON-
pletely that our breakfast Is delicious;
and we feel that life's no fizzle. ss the
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01

on its throne. He gave the baby to his
wife and tainted.
When he recovered from his swoon
he saw what he had written a few
hours before lying OH white tablet be.
fore him:
Amid the stress and tumult of all ex-
ternai circumstances let your soul re-
main IN perfect peace and composure."
Then the philosopher said:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01

Twin City Jockey Gus Races.
Great Northern special train leaves
Hotel Lafayette 1880 p. M; Mime
apolis, LIS p. m, daily. returning after
races.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01

pessimists miscall it, when we have the
satisfaction of a dollar in our wallet.
All our woes are less appalling, and
our joys are less ambiguous, and ali
life's happy meadows are so lush-hke
and irriguous; for glass of pure cold
phosa tastes as sweet as balm of Gilead,
and brown bread is like ambrosia Homer
tells of in the Iliad; and we feel that
life's poem maugre what the cynics
call it, and we feel supremely blessed
with dollar in our wallet. r ~ >
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
THEATERS ALL THE RAGE.
The SEASON IN LONDON rs At ITS
ZENITH.
SARAH sERNHARDT AT DALY,s

At the ST. James Aristocratic
Concert Countess OF Yarbor-
ough and Seven Titled Ladies
Played and Lady Churchill
Sang - Henry Irving Toasted
Baby York.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
PYROTECHNICS IN PLENTY.
A THRILLING ODE TO THE GLORIOUS
FOURTH.
HAS GUNPOWDER GALORE.

flow a Philosopher Takes Care of
Baby-He Hangs on to a
Strap With One Hand and
Holds the Child With the
Other Hand-A Wallet and
Dollar.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01

THE TOP NOTCH OF VALUE GIVING Is REACHED!
than by reading this lad and attending
disc far below quotations
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-01
Change in Time on the Northern
Pacific,

Until further notice, the train leaving
st. Paul At AIS p. M. and Minneapolis
at 1850 p. IN. daily will run only as far
as Fargo, making connection at Staples
for Brainerd, Fergus Falls. Wahpeton
ana Minor. and at Winnipeg junction
for Crookston, Grand Forks. Grafton and
all points in Manitoba. This train will
stop at all points which the train leav-
ing st. Paul at 500 p. m. has heretofore
made.
Train Number Seven, heretofore
leaving st. Paul at 500 D. IN. and Min
neapolis at $40 p. M, will be abandoned
---khRr notice.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
ASsiqneesSa1e

Valuable property for sale, one lot
n the city of Goldsboro on which r. P.
Howell, now resides, situated at the
Southwestern intersection of West g n
tire and Spruce streets, 131x205 feet on
which there is a handsome residence,
and necessary neutrality-suspicious.
ing this lot at the Southwestern cor
ner is a lot 73x109 feet which will be
sold with the above.
One lot on West entire street 90x205
feet with barn and stables. thereon.
Each of the above two lots are well
shaded by a beautiful and well-grown
oak grove something to be desired and
seldom found. This is your opportunity
and perhaps your only n to secure a
nice home, as desirable building lots
likely to come on the market are
scarce.
One vacant lot fronting on James
street 100 feet and running back 132
eet giving ample o for two Tenant
houses in a part of the city where ten
ants are easily obtained.
One valuable farm 3 miles from
Goldsboro, in Fork Township, contain
1872 acres by survey: 95 acres of which
is cleared, has a good clay sub-soil, in
fine state of cultivation and has on 1t s
| good frame buildings with brick Chin
| neys.
all on or address
w. T. YELVERTON,
Assignee of r.. P. Howell.
GoldsbOro,.N N, G.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
Notice.

Under and by virtue of an order of
the Superior Court of Wayne county,
N. c., in the petition of John j. Ivey
and othors to the court, dated Nov. II,
1894, I will sell on Saturday, Dec. s..
1894, at IL o'clock NJ. at the residence
of the late Thomas Sutton in New
Hope township, Wayne county, N. G..
the tract of land situate in said New
Hope township. containing two hum
dred (2761 and seventy-six acres, more
or less, and being the lands on which
the said Thos. Sutton resided at the
time of his death, subject to the dover
of Ann j. Sutton, the widow of the
said Thos. Sutton, which has been
assigned therein.
Terms of sale one-third cash, bal
ance in equal installments in one and
two years bearing internst from con-
firmation of sale at s per cent until
paid; title retained until purchase
money is paid in full.
CD. Dali. Commissioner.
Nov. II, 1894
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
Notice Of Sale,

Under and by virtue Of a judgment
of the Superior court of Wayne coun-
ty, n. c., rendered at April term. 1874,
in the case of Bank Of Wayne. ct al
Us. r.. p. Howell ct al, I shall sell for
cash by public auction at the court
house door in Goldsboro. n. c.. on
Monday, Jan, Z, 1898, at y o'clock M,
the tract Of land in Wayne county. n.
G.. fully described in a deed executed
by E. b, Borden and wife to r. p.
Howell, dated Feb, "A, 1881, registered
in book IS. page 1888. in the office ofthe
Register of Deeds of Wayne county, to
which reference is made for further
description, known as the Garriss land.
and lying on Little River, in Fork
township, containing 23si acres. more
or less. f. a. DANIELS,
Nov. 80, '94 Commissioner.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
ME Noblest Roman of them All.

The Noblest Roman of them All.
LEXINGTON, KY, Dec. 16.-I
The Leader publishes a letter
from Gen. Cassius M. Clay to
John A. Hodges thank
ing the latter for his indignant
protestin the Lexington Observer
against the discreditable treat
ment of the illustrious abolition
lists by certain newspapers on
the occasion of his recent mar
rage to his ffteen-year-old ward.
Senator Hodges editorials re-
viewed Gen, Clay's wonderful
career and declared; Had he
lived in the days of the Roman
empire he would have passed into
history as the noblest Roman OF
them ALL"
Gen. Clay says: I'm marry
ing a young girl and a peasant, l
but exercised the privilege al
lowed the humblest citizen OF the
republic, and to spend my money
as it pleases me, and TO rule my
own Household and nothing more.
The disparity of ages is our own
business and nobody else,s. My
rigid regard for the physical as
well as the moral laws of the sit
uation places me beyond the cavil
of inferior souls, who criticise
me SO severely. After all, love
and sensualism or passion are as
far apart as night and day. Pas
sion Furnishes and may degrade,
but love reines and elevates.
Love is immortal. My expert
ence in life shows me that 6
young girl may love an old MAI
intensely, for love is Of the soul:
passion of the body"
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20

+Daily except Monday. +Daily ex-
cept Sunday.
*These trains carry only frst-class
passengers holding Pullman
dations.
Train N the Scotland Branch Road
leaves Weldon $40 p. H., Halifax 4 u,
p. M, arriving Scotland Neck at a.
p m, Greenvil1e 637 p IN, Kinston -:
7. II. returning leaves Kinston 7.2.J
a. m, Greenville S,22 a IN, arriving
Halifax at II a N, Weldon 11.2U a IN,
daily except Sunday.
Trains on Washington Branch leave
Washington 100 a m, arrives Parmlee
$40 a N, Tarboro $50 a m, RETURNING
leaves Tarboro 4.40 p M, Parmlee 10
pm, arrives Washington 7.35 IN, daily
kept Sunday. Connects with trains
on Scotland Neck Branch.
] Train leaves Tarboro, n. c.. via
| Albemarle and Raleigh Railway daily
except Sunday, at 300 p m, Sunday
300 p N, arrives Plymouth $50 D IL,
and go p. N.
Returning leaves Plymouth daily, ex.
cept Sunday, 800 I'm, Sunday $50 a m.
arrive TarbOfo 1925 d. m, and fI.45
p. N.
Train on Midland n C Branch leave
Goldsboro daily, except Sunday, 90
q. m, arriving Smithtield / 30 a M. Re
UoAAAA5 ICofOp o1LI1ul1lIOIu w IL III, a.
rive at Goldsboro 9.30 a m.
Train on Nashville Branch leaves
Rocky Mount at 4.30 p. M, arrives
Nashville 800 p IN, Spring Hope 5.3U
p. m. Returning leaves Spring Hone
500 a. H., Nashville $50 a m, arrives
at Rocky Mount bio a IN, daily except
Sunday.
Train on Latta Branch Florence
Railroad, leaves Latta $40 D M,
arrive Dunbar $50 p NJ. Returning
leaves Dunbar, 6.30 a m; arrive Latta
$50 a N. Daily except Sunday.
Train on Clinton Branch leaves
Warsaw for Clinton daily, except Su,
day at 40 p IN. Returning leaves
Clinton at 40 a. M, connecting a
Warsaw with main line trains.
uTrain No IS makes close %onnect1o
at Weldon for all points North daily
al rail via Richmond and daily excep
Sunday via Portsmouth and Bay Line
Also at Rocky Mount with Norfolk ant
Carol ma Railroad for Norfolk daily
and all points North via Norfolk DAHL
except Sunday.
JOHN f. DIVINE. Gen1 Supt.
j. r. kENLY, Gen. Man'E.
T. NJ. EMERSON, Traffic Man'g,
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
Ntto . 5 lLs

Under and by virtue of a Judgment
of the Superior court of Wayne county.
n. G., rendered at September term.
1894, in the case of Stevenson. Alex
ander & Co. ct ais VS.. Geo. w. Lane
ct al. l shall sell for cash by public
auction at the court house in Colds
boro, n. c., on Monday, Jan, !, 1893,
at II o'clock m, the interest of Geo,
". Lane. being an undivided one
fourth interest subject to the life
estate of Mrs. Celia Lane, in and to a
tract of land in Nahunta township,
Wayne county. n, c.. known as the
Home Place of Bryant H. Lane,
upon which the said Bryant H. Lane
resided at the time of his death, and
upon which Mrs. Celia Lane now ne
sides, containing 40 acres more or
less. B. f. AY. OK,
Non, 80, 81. Commissioner.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
Land Sale.

On Monday. December 24th. 1894, at
II o'clock m, 1 will sell at the court
house in Goldsboro to the highest bid
der, that valuable farm known as the
.Dick Rollins farm" situated within
one mile and "a half Of Boston, 6 miles
of G~oldsboro, on the line Of the A. &
n. C. r.. r., containing 80 acres.
more or less, having an s or 10 horse
farm cleared, and being well supplied
with tenant houses, and heavll y tim
bered. j. A.. HADLE1,
Admir- Dick Rollins.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
Notice!

Having this day qualified before the
clerk of the Superior court of Wayne
county, North Carolina, as executor of
the last will and testament of W. f.
Kornegay, deceased, notice is hereby
given to all persons indebted to the es-
tate Of W. f. Kornegay, to make inn
mediate payment and to all, persons
holding claims against his estate to
present them to the undersigned for
payment on Or before, Nov, 9th. 1890,
rthis notice will be pleaded in bar of
their recovery. This, the 9th day of
November. 1894.
Y. u. KORNE
Executor of w. T. hornegay
GOldSbOrO. N. G..
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20

This remedy IS becoming so wei
known and so popular as to need no spec
ial mention. All who have used Electric
Bitters sing the same song of praise.-A
purer medicine does not exist and it is
guaranteed to do all that is claimed. Elec-
trio Bitters will cure all diseases of the
Liver and Kidneys, will remove Pimples,
Boils, Salt Rheuni and other affections
caused by impure blood.-win drive NAL
aria from the system and prevent as well
as cure all MaIarial feYers.-For cure of
Headache, Constipation and Indigestion
try Electric Bitters-Entire satisfaction
guaranteed, or money refunded.-Price sc
cts.and $1.O0 per bottle at J.H.Hill&Son's
DRUGSTORE
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-12-20
BUCKLEN'S ARNICA SAL Y

The Best SalVe in the World for
Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt
Rheum, Fever. Sores, letter, Cha P
ped Hands, Chllblalns, Corns, and all
Skin Eruptions, and positively cures
Piles. or no pay required. 1t is guar
anteed to give perfect satisfaction or
money refunded. Price 25 cents per
bottle, for sale by J, II. Hill y Son,