Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-10-24
TEA-TABLE SALAD.


The monkey goes to the sunny side
of the tree when he wants a warmer
climb.-TeXas Siftings.
No, Maud, dear, journal devoted to
the interests of palmistry isn't, strictly
speaking, hand organ.-Philadelph
Record.
what I tell my wife goes" Tn
deed?' yes, she takes it to her mother
right away, and pretty soon it is every
where. Puck.
Mr. Greathead, the landlord, says he
prefers as tenants experienced chess
players, because it is so seldom they
move-Boston Transcript.
Sunday School Teacher-'What is
faith?" Bright Boy-'"Hakin an UNI
brella to church Wen tn preacher is go
in to pray for rain. Good News.
-Inquirer-''Does a fish diet strength
en- the brain|' Philosopher Perhaps
not; but going fishing seems to invigorate
the imagination. New York Weekly.
AS soon as his engagement is an
nounced the average young man begins
to observe that there are other girls be-
sides his betrothed who are pretty-At-
Gibson Globe.
She Before we were married you
said it would give you the greatest pleas
ure to crafty my every wish" He
My dear, | said your lghtest wish; and
I'll do it, too."-Vogue.
-She-"Mr. Spooner, [ have told you
for the last time that l will not be your
Wife He-"Thank you; I'm going to
propose once more, SO of course your an
swer will be Yes "-Harpers Bazar
Mrs. O'Neil-'Do yez make the ould
man do the washing?" Mrs. Murphy
"Yis. You see, he's out ov shteady wur-
ruk. and it's name loike not ter give him
a job whin wan can. "-Harpers Bazaar
Bird Dealer-'I feel bound to tell
you, sir, that the parrot which YOU have
selected is a terrible swearer." Gus
tomer-"All the better; | will let him do
my telephoning for me."-Mount Vernon
Echoes.
-Bossleigh (after the tenth MISS
We'll, L really, must confess l don't seem
able to hit the birds today" Keeper
(encourag mind sir, you do
scare 'em wonderful, anyhow. Half
Holiday.
Mrs. Kimball (to tramp)-"So you are
very hungry and want something to eat?
Well, here's some cold veal" Tramp
But | haven't got no fork to eat it
with" Mrs. Kimball-''Wel you just
keep on going down that way little fur
Their and you'll find fork III the road. y
Truth.
The monkey goes to the sunny side
of the tree when he wants warmer
climb.-Siftings
-He-"And | am really and truly the
only man you ever lovedW She-"Well
-er-I never had it seem so easy before"
indianapolis Journal.
1t is always hard to associate quarrels
and unpleasantness with house that has
vines growing over the doors and wins
Globe.
The Peary baby was born in north
latitude 7.44. If she is not born to beat
policy there is nothing in the figure eleven.
st. Louis Star Sayings.
1t is hard for a man to imagine him
self lust as young as he ever was" when
his wife asks him to bring in an armful
of wood.-FlOrida Times.
Local Editor-"Can / refer to old
Stifiiy as an old settIer?" Editor-inChief
II don't know. Call up the subscrip-
ton department" Tribune.
-She-''How fearful it must be for a
great singer to know she has lost her
voice" He-"It's much more torturing
when she doesn't know it Tid-Bits.
-Subscriber-'I have just heard that
fifty people are coming to settle here"
Editor-''Thank the Lord. John, make
out the bills. Atlanta Constitution.
Young Lady-''Is there a place here
where [ can turn my carriage around?"
Villager- miss. Right out at the
end of this street is the circus lot.'-NeW
York Weekly.
1SS w udI Il pScuI1df man Dunuef
IS. He has a sovereign contempt for any
body who doesn't know as much as he
does" F'Ogg-''I should think he would
Boston Transcript.
dudley Cat the door)-''Is Miss Fit
terly engaged?' Servant-''Oi don't right
~ know, sor yit; but thot other young
man has been sparkin' her for full
hourv'-New York Advertiser.
-''Have you an acquaintance with
Blank?' Blank? Oh, yes. We come
down in the same electric car every
morning. In this way we are thrown
together a great deal. -Elmira Gazette.
Her Father-''Has this young man
any resources to support a wife," Birdie
McGinnis-,.He's going to save s. a
week by giving up cigarettes. That's
enough to begin on, amt it, pa?'-Sift-
ings.
First Chicago Matron-''Why do you
associate with her? She has been di-
vorced only once" Second Chicago Ma
tron-'I know, dear, but you mustn't for
get what a lovely scandal there was at
the time. New York Herald