Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1894-11-28

city 20 see a game Of football, while
Others 90 from the city 20 the country,
when there is no game, 20 shoot birds.
But they all eat turkey II this divine
bird comes within their pecuniary
reach. The EthiOp who Is 50 uniortu-
nate as 20 have 10 peCuniary reach
worth speaking Of must depend
uDon his natural reach 10 penetrate
the foliage Of his neighbours tree
aud pluck thereirOm the m09niit fowl
a. o watermelon or Bartlett
pear. Some men Will eat c0rned
beef and Irish stew on Thanksgiving
DAY and imagine that they are doing
the day aud themselves justice. such
men are moral monstrOsities that defy
analysis. Those who would attempt 70
fathom them and arrive az an inteliigi-
BILE and satisfactory solution could
make more money writing visiting
cards with a telegraph Office pen. Not
more vain would 10 be 70 attempt 20
preserve in musical notation the spirit
ed barcarole Of the overripe November
pig or attempt 20 sound the depths
of a country plumbers sophistry
with an ordinary plumb line.
The old ian-tailed SObbler will no
more strut about the farmyard with the
dignity and hauteur Of a retail floor
walker. No more will he wave his great
scarlet wattles like a danger signal pre-
uaratory 20 chasing the small boy, who
would make him the unwilling recipient
Ola bucket of cold water. No more will
hd sit 10 statuesQue ball on the old
elm and look wistiuliy over the russell
esQuely punctudted wiz dull gold
pumpkins. He has hecrd the whining
winds OF autumn rustiiug To- the rosy
foliage and his blazing side whiskers
for the last time. Yesterday be was
full Of hope To-day be is full Of chest
nuts, and his drUmsticks play solo OF
Joy on the souls Of the people cOngre-
wgated about The table, especially that
OF the small boy, whose eyes throo
Nwith Joy and who Is as full Of anticipa-
tion as TIE turkey Is full OF dressing
What Tbeautiiu. study rs the old COB
bier Is he lies upon the platter, bronzed
- crisp, with bis white meat shining
through his tawny envelope that ever
aud ason breaks with a sound that
sends rippieS of SOfteSt music across the
lilied millpOnds OF our souls.
When the turkey IS so Sood, u Is no
wonder that he usurps that portion OF
our inner man usually set apart for
plum pudding or pumkin pie. The
man who likes plum pudding better
than turkey, IL such man exists.
should not fail 20 change matters by
putting the last FIRST and the first last.
A Shanghai on THANKSGIVING day
scratches gravel 10 the background Of
oblivion. lie is more remote ADD OBJ
scure than Is a baseball player To the
height OF the skating season or turrier
In the swe.ter.ng dogdays.
Thanksgiving Day rs day OF tender
dreams that ON our souls with sweetest
music. UsuallyIIt is still, gray day,
during which the dark, ieafsss trees
stand sharply etched against a liquid
atmosphere in which you can hear the
partridge drum aud the bluejsy squawk
mile away. The smoke curlS from the
old farmhouse straight into the air aud
from It's quaint windows the crow can
be seen cIrcIing wiStiuily over the old
.cornfeid, with outSpread wings, as II
Rearing 90 break the silence Of the
Meme. And the old farmer is thankful
hons have come back TO spend this
feSal day az the Old home. They
are delighted. for once more they scent
the roasting gobbler and dream OF crack
ing the wishboue again, just as they
did when suall boys. And again they
will have The dear old nightmare 10 the
attic room that Is colder than the barn
iu winter and hotter than the potato
patch 10 summer. But they are really
no happier than those who celebrate
the day in a New York fat that Is so
small that 10 does not furnish sufficient
elbow room 20 carve turkey and there
fore cOmUels the family 90 have fri
CasSee or canned turkey, neither OF
(which is q dish equal TO the require
entS OF so glorious an occasion.
The only time that Thanksgiving Is
a success is when the turkey Is 50
ugh that the only way 10 can be dis
nted seems 90 be by blasting it with
mantle. Such turkev fills the con
entiOuS housewife with horror and
axes her register a vow 20 ever after
"a beet the turkey 20 a thorough drub-
bing with rolling Din in the same way
hat she does the average mustang
Ateak A turkey should be treated 10
bis fashion before the dressing is in
kerted or not at all. Yet the gObblsr Is
peerless classic fowl that does more
Nor Thanksgiving day than Ihanksgiv-
ing day does for him, and We should
cherish the sweet associations that sur
round him from the Greco-R0mau with
his drumstickS 20 the tug OF war with
his chaste enameled wishoOne.
X. X. MUNRITTRICK.