The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-06-07
TWAS EVER THUS.
A Would BE Public Benefactor Who
Found That He Was Not Appreciated.

Found That He Was Not Appreciated.
"Please give me dime"
Twas seated in the Mall at Central park,
looking at the statue of Robbie" Burns
and thinking thoughts that many man
has thought before about his i'll starred
life, when my reveries were thus turned
Into another channel. didn't like it.
"Why should give you dime" re-
piled sharply, hoping thereby to get-rid of
him.
But it didn't have the desired effect. He
wasn't an every day sort of tramp, although
his apparel was shabby enough There was
q moldy air of better days about him. He
heaved sigh, and seating himself along
side of mel couldn't resent that, because
he had just as much right to seat as |
had-he began to unfold his tale.
Il recognize in you," he began, "a
kindred spirit. !, too, am worshiper at
the shrine of genius. Nothing delights
me so much us to see the memory of great
men fittingly honored Years ago in fit
| OF generous enthusiasm, | conceived a
scheme which, had it been favorably re-
ceived, would have filled this park and all
other parks and public squares in the land
with statutes,of mankind's greatest bene-
factors.
"But pardon me-" he added, interrupting
his narrative, do you happen to have the
mate to that cigar about your"
told him | hadn't.
"Well, never mind, / amt particular;
Tll take a chew of tobacco, if you happen
to have it,"
told him | had none.
Another sigh impinged itself upon my
olfactory organs, and then he continued:
Nothing so helps man to rise superior
to the petty and soul enthralling concerns
of everyday life as the contemplation and
study of true greatness. To assist in the
attainment of that lofty state of mind
there is nothing so effective as the presence
of the counterfeit presentments of men
who have lowered like sun kissed noun
tain peaks above their fellows With that
conviction strong upon me / abandoned
the haunts of men and gave myself up to
thought. In due time the inspiration came.
AT the lowest estimate there are 1000, 900
men in this country who get shaved by
BARRIERS on an average three times week.
At an absurdly low estimate that involves
an expenditure of thirty cents week by
each man. That, sir, as have proved over
and over again, amounts to $l,200,OOO a
week, or s62, 400, 600 year.
Just think of It'll All that money prac-
tically thrown away. | proposed that
these four millions should form a vast
'antishave' or shave yourself association,
and that the money thus saved should be
put into fund to purchase statues for
identifying our parks and places of public
resort. All the reward that | asked was
that should be made the treasurer of the
fund Had the scheme been carried out
the artistic beauties of ancient Greece
would be rs nothing compared with ours.
but my scheme fell unheeded on the miser.
able horde of mercenary, self seeking men
who libel this country by calling them
selves Americans.
"That was fifteen years ago. As you
may perceive, If you observe me closely,
have not shaved from that day to this. l
tried to be public benelactor. Society
scornfully rejected my offering. There
fore, society owes me living. And that,
sir, is why l ventured to ask you for a
dime"
"Hi, therel get out of this" harshly ex-
claimed a park policeman who had stolen
upon us unawares. "Didn't tell you I'd
give you taste of me club if caught you
around here again~
Shades of Scott and Burns and Shake
speare" muttered the tramp as he shuf1led
off. "Has it come to this-that your most
ardent devotee should be the sport and jest
of a sparrow copP"-New York Herald.