Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-09-20
AGRICULTURALHI HINTS.
THE TAR-HEEL TRAIL.
A Contribution to Good Roads Literature
by Humor1st Bill Nye.

A Contribution to Good Roads Literature
by Humor1st Bill Nye.
The prize medal was cheerfully
awarded to the writer last year at
Chicago by competent committee, for
the most picturesque display of roads.
/ do not say this boastfully, but be-
cause it may encourage others to make
similar collection.
Western North Carolina is very
mountainous and therefore beautiful
country, the soil in most instances be-
ing a cheerful red, similar to the shade
adopted for secondhand cook stoves.
These vermillion roads wrap them
selves around the mountains of Bun
combe county in graceful sweeps, or
pour in Venetian red cascades over the
ridges and hog-backs of Catawba
county.
Many of these roads liquify and run
over the farms, or slip down into the
fields during a shower, and remain
there to be called for. / have two
stray roads still on my estate that
lodged there after a long wet spell in
April.
The methods of building and repair
ing roads here are not adopted else
where, except along the shores of Lake
Victoria Nyanza in South Africa.
When the roads are too wet, large ir-
regular stones, ranging from the size
of Daniel Webster's head to that of
the pee wee egg. are placed in this
mud where they disappear, yet may be
noticed plainly by riding over them.
Each year, in the country region, the
adults are called together by the road
master for the purpose OF sampling
each others tobacco, and making mud
pies along the highway. The bed of
the road is sunken several feet below
the level of the sea. and then plowed
up and made mellow like an onion bed.
Where it is desired to defect a stream
of rain across the bed on sid chill,
instead of putting in culvert, the tar
heel scientist constructs soft, wet
ridge diagonally across the road, which
resembles the new-made grave of a
pathmaster, but unfortunately it is not.
The loss on rolling stock here is
easily SO 1-3 per cent, for l have kept
AN accurate account of it for three
years, Turing which time my wagons
have been renewed. Landaus and Vic
torias are not much used here, but a
hickory crotch is attached to an axle
a pair of cast off wheels from the wreck
of four-wheeled wagon completes
the trap, unless one should be high
spirited and want box, in which case
a common quail trap is nailed on the
axle.
Naturally the resident here is con-
tent with things as he finds them-or
as they find him. If wood tick or a
Buncolnbe county flea should attack
a man who was born here the man
heaves a sigh, scratches the place, and
says to the insect without passion:
well, there. 1 hope now you are
satisfied
1t is the same with the roads If
chuck hole gets formed in the road
and squirts yellow stream into his
whiskers. he waits till his whiskers
dry and then he is ready for another
dose. He also raises whiskers of
color which matches the clay. and sc
it is not noticed.
The corduroy road was also origi-
mated in this country. After several
generations of corduroy, it is found
that most of the people here are en-
tirely destitute of kidneys, these
features having been shaken loose and
lost after many We ars of riding on cor
duroy roads.
But the material for making roads
here is good. In fact. that is about all
that it is good for. The stone is not
good for building, and the soil is not
capable of even raising a disturbance.
Last year l put $1O3 IS into seeds, and
$3.50 into a gardener. l also hired the
ground plowed, and hired a night
Waterman to put ear-muffs on the ears
of my sweet corn when the July frost
struck the mountains, and yet my
hageolet string beans cost me 81 per
dozen, and the accused garden pre-
vented my sons graduation at the
John Hopkins place.
The roads are in sad plight after
long rain, and look like a neglected
candy pull. l feel very sadly this con-
dition of affairs, for where the climate
is so healthful that people under lis
years of age attract no attention. it
seems sin to take our pull
lets to market aboard a roam heifer.
We have glorious climate the year
round, and the people come here from
the four corners of the earth to get rid
of their tubercles; but the roads are so
rough that one has to hold in his
broader principles with one hand and
his appendicitis with the other for
miles at time. If congress But
that's out of the question when con-
gress has been in perpetual session for
year, and has developed nothing but
paresis. We must go to the polls this
year, and the next. and the next. with
good roads at the top of our ticket,
and live or die, elect only those men
who promise us upon their sacred
honor that this platform and this bat
tie cry alone shall win.
I'm not much of a politician, but we
had better stop sending Bibles to other
nations until we have something to
show for roads aside from a long cow
trail of dead horses, bleached bones
and turkey buzzards outlining a loud
smelling quagmire that a barbarian
and a cannibal would scorn to use as a
war path.-Bin Nye, in Good Roads.
Sample of Yankee Ingenuity.
The way q Connecticut farmer util-