Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-11-21
SOME ANECDOTES.
Marshall p. Wilder Pulls Out a Few Stories
From His Pouch.

Marshall p. Wilder Pulls Out a Few Stories
From His Pouch.
Its difficult" said that jolly little jest
er, Marshall p Wilder, in a recent chat,
"to string together coherently new jests
and jokes in formal interview. Humor
Gus efforts, as you know, do not strike any
two people in just the same way. Much
depends upon the occasion to make play
full turn of words effective, especially to
an audience. For instance, last year in
Flint, Mich, gave vent to spontaneous
remark that elected more applause than
anything else said during the evening
just as was approaching the footlights
to begin my monologue the electric lights
went out and left the house in total dark
ness. Pausing a few seconds for the return
of the light which very dismally failed to
give us illumination, l said Ladies and
gentlemen, this is terrible predicament
for me- l fear you will be unable to see
my jokes. But the audience very prompt
ly saw that one and gave me warm wei
come. Before they had finished their
handclapping and laughter tho electric
lights again were all in harmonious opera
ton.
Speaking of the difference between
English and American humor, here is an
anecdote which perfectly illustrates it. An
Englishman, a new arrival in New York,
meets an American friend on the street
and says, How do you feel old chap"
Out of sight, replies the American. And
what may that really mean, y'know?' in
quires the puzzled Britisher. The Ameri-
can enters into labored explanation of
the csatlantic idiom, whereupon the
gentleman from London, still somewhat
puzzled, but evidently satisfied, exclaims,
Very droll and clevah, don't know A
few days later some one asks the English
man how he feels by way of greeting, and
this is his response: Pom my word, old
chap, you cawn't see me, y'know.
But, after all, " continued Mr.. Wilder,
'the English are very loyal to their
friends Fortunately in England l have
number of admirers. When l was last
over there, 1 met one of them who said to
me in a most confidential way, Mr. Wild
er, those were very funny things you told
us last year. You see it takes about a
year for a good American joke OF anecdote
to terminate in English soil and bear any
kind of fruit"
At this point asked him whence he
derived his best appreciated jokes. Mr..
Wilder, after thoughtful pause, replied:
From everyday life. 10 illustrate: saw
two lrishmen on a Broadway cable car
yesterday. One says to the other: Mike,
your clothes look purity tough and scedy.
Why don't you get dacent suit of
olothes?'
Well, answers Mike, with almost a
in, oyy,lo
there's not tailor in Harlem that kin
measure me, I'm that ticklish.'
Another illustration: One Irishman,
L hear you've had the grip bad Another
Irishman, 'Yis, bout month ago. All,
Pat, the grip is terrible disease. It's the
only thing you're sick with after you're
well.
IAN Irishman with only one leg was
going along the street when he met a
friend of his own nationality. What, ;
says the friend, you've lost a leg eh?'
Yes, said the other despondently. We'll, ,
observed the friend, my poor man, you
won't miss it these hard times
Here is another cable car incident that
witnessed recently: A man was indulg
ing in profanity in the Car when there en-
tered a lady and her husband. The latter,
taking umbrage at the blasphemer, said,
See here, you mustn't swear before my
wife,, whereupon the blasphemer an
swered Excuse me, didn't know your
wife wanted to swear
"This is pretty good one: A young
darby, indulging in hitting his thumb
with a hammer every few seconds, was
asked what he was doing that for. His
philosophical reply was, 'Kase it feels SO
good when STOP
Here is another: A man was carrying O
disreputable looking dog into an express
office when an inquisitive policeman ask
ed where the canine was bound for.
Promptly came the answer: He dom
know, and I'm d--dif do. He's chewed
up his tag"
Mr.. Wilder's concluding story before re-
ceiving another visitor he attributed to
Mr.. Henry E. Dixey and related substan-
TALLY as follows: Several old chaps were
sitting around the big stove in rural
barroom telling stories and SO on when
another old chap of much the same type
as themselves hobbled in. Seeing no va
can't chair, he finally commissioned the
pudgy landlord to give his horse in the
shed dozen oysters on the half shell. The
landlord made haste to obey the curious
order, and the other half dozen old dodgers
rose en- masse and passed out of the room
to witness the unheard of exhibition. In
the meantime the old fellow who had Civ
en- the unusul order planted himself In
the most comfortable chair in front Of the
stove and was pleasantly meditating when
the old chaps returned, preceded by the
landlord, who said, Your horse won't
/ eat them oysters, boss.
well, bring them to me then," said
the stranger, relapsing into his cheerful
reverie, unmindful of the senile worthies
of the village who were returning to the
warmth of the stove to find one Of the
L FL