The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1894-09-28
THE FUCKERS DUMB WEEK.
How a Family with q Bad Fault
Set About to Correct It.

The Tucker family had a fault. They
were conscious of it, and therefore,
like sensible family, set about cor
recting it. This fault was-they all
liked to. talk. Consequently they often
talked all at once, very loud and very
fast
Maria Jane inaugurated the reform.
"Boys, this thing must stop" she said.
''We are getting to be a noisy, disor-
derby family, and for one am ashamed
of it. This breakfast table, until the
griddle cakes came on, has been YER
liable bedlam."
What are you going to do about it?"
asked Stephen and Frank together,
while Charley, a high school middler
who had just passed his Harvard
''prelims," whistled:
"Harl, heara voice,
Way up on the mountain top"
1t should be remarked here that
Maria's height WIS at once source of
tribulation to herself and of infinite
amusement to the three boys. Seven
year-old Blanche said simply: More
griddles," and Little Mother" Tucker
smiled approvingly on her eldest
daughter, and said demurely, that
she'd welcome any change for the
better while Rev. Mr.. Tucker re-
marked, with severe dignity: Il am
glad you have at last come to ,ealiza-
rion of the true condition of affairs,
and l hope it will lead to speedy
amendment"
Hear! hearv' sh outed Charley. "The
motion before the house is
THAT the conversational proclivities
of the Tucker family be suppressed"
supplied Stephen.
II second the notion" said Little
Mother.
Mr.. Speaker" said Maria, bowling
low to Charley, who was reaching to-
ward the last griddlecal1e, my plan
for improvement is simply this: That
we all agree for one whole week not
to speak"
Fired Struthers comes Saturday
nights" interrupted Frank.
''to each other here at home" con-
tinued Maria with color, but to COM
municate with each other by writing,
sign language, pantomime or any other
means that we can DEVISE"
Good worl1r' Whose idea is the
brightest?" and Three cheers for
Maria! Rah! rah! rah!" came stimuli
taneous from the three boys, while
Blanche inquired, anXiously: Cant /
talk to my dolls and kitty"
'As much as they do to YOU" said
her mother, kissing her.
''Fatherl never consent to anything
like that" declared Stephen, in a stage
whisper.
mo, indeed, chorused the other two
boys.
And yet it wouldn't be any fun
without him." said Little Mother.
The minister retreated behind his
paper Maria began to urge him. "Oh,
you must join it, father dear" she said,
coaxingly. 1--WE don't think you es-
peciaNy need it (grcans from the boys);
but we want the influence of your
name and example upon the younger
members of the society,"" (Sniffs from
the other end of the table,,
''Father, what objection have you?"
won't you, papa?"
"Well, if he doesn't we sha'n't have
to-" No sound from behind the paper.
'Some papas speak when they're
spoken to-" remarked Blanche, senten-
tiously.
"or promise not to-" said Stephen.
Father "Whatr "WhyT "Oh,
my!' calculated the astounded family
the next moment.
For Rev. Mr.. Tucker had slowly
risen, placed his paper against the
wall and was writing in blue pencil
the words:
Il hereby promise to abstain from speech
with my family for the space of one week.
Signed, EBENEzER TUCKER"
BRAY" began Frank, but Charley's
hand was clapped over his mouth.
Then followed grand stampede in
the direction of pencils and paper, in
the course of which Stephen looked
into the nursery and saw Blanche Ia
boriously printing with chalk on her
black board:
lam NOT TO sPEEK 2 AMY FOR
WEEK. BLA-"
Whereat he took her upon his shoulder
| and carried her to the door of the sit
ting raom.
She found Charley and Frank with
opened at the deaf and dumb alphabet.
The book was old, and that leaf was
soon discovered to be loose. 1t also
became inconvenient for two heads to
bend over the page, inasmuch as two
pairs of hands must be repeatedly
brought into juxtaposition with the
printed models. So boyish ingenuity
evolved a compromise, effected by
tearing the page in two. This gave
Frank the oneshnud, and Charley the
two-hand alphabet. AS a result, each
mastered his own in comparatively
short time, but neither would change
| his system. Blanche could not learn
either method without verbal explain
alton; but peace was finally secured
| by her pointing at the hall clock--an
! act whial sent both the boys in the di-
rection of books, hats and tho school
house Blanche watched them out Of
! sight. laughing ut the vigorous mods
While in Chicago AIr. Charles l..
Kahler, a prominent shoe merchant OF
Des Moines, Iowa, had quite serious
time of it. He took such a severe cold
that he could hardly talk or navigate,
but the prompt use of Chamberlain's
! Cough Remedy cured him of his cold SO