The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1894-01-13
A GRBBNVILLE YARN.
"Deek' Longed For Pants and
He Got a Pair That
Didn't Fit.

had drifted west from New Amsterdam, as
New York was then called, the good people
were repeatedly annoyed by the Indians.
These dare devils were up to every species OF
| trickery, and woe to the farmer whose cattle
were not secure by nj ght. Often these red
skins would steal, impoverished, into the
houses, and carry off everything they could
lay their hands ON.
No one ever dreamed Of attributing these
thefts to a joke, but on one occasion it
was really an instance of an Indian JOKE.
The story is worth repeating. because some
of the descendants of those old Dutch settlers
and rascally Indians are alive still Ill dull,
sleepy, gossipy Greenville.
But to our tale, Down on the sandy shores
of Newark Bay, then known as Little Zuy-
der Zee, there lived in u curious ramshackle
log hut a fat, jolly, go~od-natured, unsophis
ticated Dutchlnan named Deck Van Dol
dreech, known to the settlers around about
as Deck
He was as broad in the beam as the sail
boat lying at anchor opposite his home.
Deck spent most Of his time fishing, and it
was said had saved no small amount of
guilders. Like all fishermen, he was a good
story teller, and delighted to get hold of some
young greenhorn and fill his head with yarns
of the huge fish caught, the thousands of
crabs scrapped and the millions of eels
bobbed during one weeks fishing in the
| lltNiAJ Y VI JIG Joy
On high days and holidays Deck would
carefully dress himself in the baggiest of
baggy knickerbockers, the broadcast of broad
brimmed hats, and the most substantial of
the many curious shoes he possessed, and
walk over the sand dunes to an old fashioned
inn kept by his son-in-law, and there drink a
glass of schnapps and smoke his long pipe,
and take part in the talk of the f~requenters
of the hostelry, who settled the affairs of the
little town, if not to the settlers satisfaction
at least to their own.
WHEN sDEEK' o THE TURKEY,
One night, it was Christmas eve when
Kris Kingle was already on his way with
good things for good people, Deck and his
companions were seated i'll the inn and were
quaffing huge stems of beer and varying the
process with the dearly loved s%chnapps.
Jan Van Keyser, Decks son-inlaw, anne
into the room, where they sat, with an arm
full of fat wild turkeys, and placing these in
a row he told them TO shake The dice for their
Christmas dinners.
Deck took a shake, and to his joy won a
big bird large enough to supply his small
family for a week at least in food.
So oyerjoyed was he at his good fortune
that he babe his son-in-law ill up the empty
stems so that the company might drink to
his health.
Stein followed stein, and glass succeeded
glass until poor Decks head was in a sadly
muddled state. He managed to creep out of
the room unobserved, and stole into the
stable, where finding a clean bale of fresh
straw he flung himself down, and in a few
| seconds was in the land of o
Now it happened that a small pant of
Indians had been seen in the neighboring
woods for a week past, and a few of them,
thirsty for firewater, came into the settle
ment IN a foraging expedition.
The most reckless of these, Big Seal, Medi-
cine Chief, Man With-the-Gold, Big Show,
Sleepy Chief, and the worst of the lot, Fire
water Chief, came prowling around JAMS
inn on hearing the laughter and klinkling of
glasses inside.
They had with them a tall raw boned
chief known to the settlers as 1.-THE Farmer, T"
and he it was who spied Deck lying fast
asleep in the stable.
He beckoned to his companions, and they
surrounded the sleeping Dutchman. "The
Farmer was instantly struck with Decks ca
pacious trousers, and whispering tothe others
they gently loosened the straps which sup
ported the garment, and slowly drew it
off unconscious Decks legs. They left
him slumbering in his undergarments.
ssDEEK' FELT COLD.
In the early myrning Deck awoke SILVER
ing with the cold, and soon discovered the
cause.
Words were powerless to express his anger
at the joke, he believed that his companions
had played at his expense.
He rushed out of the stable and tried to
enter the Inn, but all the doors were locked,
and everyone was evidently asleep at that
time of the morning. Deck shouted and
shivered and beat on the door with his fists
and his feet, but there was no response.
.'Teufel, " he cried, bursting with anger,
and catching up a small rock he was about
to break open the door when a window
opened, and some one cried out if the noise
didn't cease, the maker of that noise would
be shot sJanl Jan, let me in alretty, | die
of cole. Some one take my pants" screamed
poor Deck, his teeth chattering and his knees
knocking against each other with the pierre
ing'cold wind.
"Och go nome get SOBER" said the voice,
and the window was damned down.
Deck swore a long oath the terms of which
bodied no good to his son-in. law. Never
would he enter that inn again.
But what was to be done? He ouldn
stand there in that condition. There seemed
no other course but to go home, and as
quickly as possible. This he did and trotted
over the sandy hills, through the briars to
his house on the shore of the bay.
To make matters worse Deck had an invi i
tation to dine that Christmas Day with a
wealthy burgomasters' family, and his only
decent pair Of knickerbockers, trousers, or
whatever these old Dutchmen called them,
had been stolen. He couldn't go and his
heart was ready to break with d~isappoint-
ment and rage.
All InaU Gay ne Sab INDOORS WnIle OUnef
people in the settlement were feasting, calling
on their neighbors and visiting the inns for
schnappS and other delightful things. He
couldn't go out; he had no pants.
1tAh, Jan, that you shout treat your
father-in-law SO scurvily," he muttered a
hundred times.
GOT THE
The mex day a little boy came running
towards the house with a package, tell
ing Deck that Jan had sent it. Of course it
was the missing pants. Better late than
never. With eager hands Deck opened the
bundle and pulled out a pair of pants fit only
for a two year old boy of the smallest breadth
of beam.
HDonnerwetter," yelled Deck, 'he makes
a dam fool of me. He steal my pants and
sends dis.n He had half a mind to go up and
lick his undutiful relative, but having 40
pants to put on, he could only fume, rave,
cuss and commend everyone and everything
to the hottest place known.
Days passed by until the new year came in
and on the morning of New Years day a
package was left at JAMS for Deck, and 10!
when the package was opened, there lay the
long wished for pants.
Who left it? Why the indians. The pants
couldn't possibly fit any of these dare devils
and they were returned. As quickly as pos