The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-06-27
RlPPLES.

Como OF tho doctors have discovered TINT
high hecled shoes cause blindness. This
ought to DO an eye opener for WOMEN, but
1t is not likely to DO onc.-St. Louis Post
Dispatch.
Tho only apparent effect of advanced
civilization seems to be that children be-
gin to worry ut an earlier agc-Atchison
Globe.
Now IN getting tho run OF tho thing"
as the policeman said when he took after
tho dude.-Clcvcland Plain Dealer
The horse thief generally keeps n run
ming account of his doings-Ncw Orleans
Picayune.
A cat Is said to have ninc lives This
may account for tho nino muses. .-Phila-
dclphia Record
The boy who Is continually carving on
In school doesn't carry off much when the
honors arc distributed Yonkcrs Statcs-
man.
American Little Girl Ito her mammal
What Is dead letter, plcascs Mamma
Ono that has been given to your father
to post.-Jcwish Messenger.
1t is estimated that ut least 7S4 kisses
AFRO exchanged at the Union depot every
day. When you think TINT most of the
k1sscrs arc women, 1t is terrible to think
OF such needless wastc.-AtOlison Globe
The author of tho poem on another page
Is personal friend of the editor We
print 1t as proof that nothing can break
tho sacrcd silken tic of friendship. -Kan-
sas City Star.
Sho was tird boarding house keeper
who, being asked If she took tr;lnsicnts,
replied, mo, except my servants -
Truth.
In arranging u date for q lawn party al
ways pick out ono when almanacs and
weather predictions say it will bc disagree
able and stormy. Globe
II don't believe half OF our rich men
know when they are we'll Off :" "Humph!
How'd you get that idca?' Been look
ing over the assessment roll. buffalo
Courier.
Wonder what kind of an entry old man
Golden made of tho money he gave his
daughter when she married that noble
mnn. Don't know, but presume ho
charged it rs paid on count. ATLANTA
Constitution.
If you arc inclined to un5crrlto tho i'm
portance of small things consider how
much insomnia there is in one fly.-Chi.
cago Herald.
Here is u gem of literary composition
from recent historical novel: Tho gas
lamps, not having been invented ut that
timc, rendered the streets of tho city still
darker. Youths Companion.
1t is great deal easier to believe the
returned anglers story when he sends you
round goodly portion of the flsh-Som-
ervillc Journal
1t Is the quiet man who looks Us though
he might pass the hat vt tho temperance
meeting who develops the biggest yell
when the umpire decides IN favor Of the
homo team. minneapolis Journal.
There Is no pen powerful enough to de-
scribe tho feelings of u Imln ON tho occa-
sion when for the first timo he goes out
walking with his first wife, wearing his
first plug hat -Somerville Journal
Sometimes There nBc instances in life
like those in story books. An Atchi,on
girl engaged herself to u carpenter, think
ing he was poor, and discovered on tho eve
of her wedding day that he had $50 in the
bank. lie had not told her, wishing to be
loved for himself alonn.-Atchison Globe
Oxford has made Captain Mahnn of the
Chicago doctor of civil INV Wouldn't
doctor of canon law be bcttcr2-Philo
dclphin Times.
young lieutenant going out to India
with his regiment, writing home about
the country, says, Tho climate is mag.
nificcnt, but lot of young fellows come
out here and drink and cot and eat and
drink and die, and then writc home and
say it was the climate that did t.'-San
francisco Argonaut.
little 3-ycar-old GIRL while her moth
or WAS trying to get her to sleep, became
Interested in some noise. She was told
that it was caused by cricket, when She
sagely observed, Mamma, | think he
ought to be oiled. "-Poarson' Weekly
50 many little shoes have been given u
young mother in Atchison that She be
camc irritable and informed the givcr al
the last pair that her baby wasn't cent?
ped, thank you.-Atchison Globe.