Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-02-23
WIT AND WISDOM.

nowadays is largely dependent upon
his income. Buffalo Courier.
--Customer-I want number two
that will fit comfortably and Shoe
Clerk-Yes, ma'am; we have that very
size in fives Inter Ocean.
~ remember when / was a girl"
began Miss Antique. "What Won
derful memory you must have! inter-
rupted Miss Sharpe. -Harper's Bazaar.
wilt thou forsake thy idle lifes'
Asked eagerly the dame;
"Ah, yes" the tramp replied, "your jam
Has put me quite t, shame"
Detroit Tribune
Traveller in Missouri want to
find the conductor. Who has charge
OF this train? Trainman-C Can't tell till
after we pass the next strip O. woods. =
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"A recent poet writes: "a song
sleeps in my soul unsung." There is a
place for that young man in dime mu-
scum at remunerative salary. He is
the only one of his kind on record. At
lanta Constitution.
-Mother-How are you and Mr..
Caller getting along? Has he proposed
yet? Daughter-No; he is just like
this corn we are preparing. Mother
How SO? Daughtcr-Don't pop easily.
Mother-Then I'd shake him. -Roches-
ter Democrat and Chronicle.
I'm believer in fate l think
our lives are laid out for u.s." "You
are wise to believe So" "Ha! You
think amp" Eyes. A man who lives
as you do is wise to shift the response
bility for his actions ON to something
or somebody else. IN. Y. Press.
lis this one of the calendars that
Smith was going to make a big hit
with?" Yes" "Well, he has made
an awful mistake" What is it?'
makes December of '94 appear as '95"
"That's no mistake; that's to allow q
months practice on writing the new
year. Inter Ocean.
Distressing Lapse of Memory. AT
torney Now, doctor, let rue begin by
asking you if - Medical Expert
Pardon me, sir, but to save time you
will kindly refresh my memory by tell
ing me what theory it was that prom
ised to corroborate? have unfortu-
nately forgotten it-Chicago Tribune.
Judge objection have you
to Mr. Gump, whom the court has APP
pointed to defend you? Prisoner
charged with murder)-I hain't got
anythin' ag'in him personally, but you
see, judge, it looks SO like turnin
states evidence. It's a givin' up the
whole thing-see?-Boston Transcript.
Mr.. De Sappy-Yes, Miss Amy. my
ancestors were leaders in the New
England colony, My paternal great
grandfather was colonel in the revo
lutionary army, and on my mothers
side there were governors and judges
Miss Amy-Really, Mr.. De Ssppy, and
yet you still believe in heredity. =
Brooklyn Life.
What if you fail in business? Yor
still have life and health. Don't si
down and cry about mishaps, for tina,
will never get you out of debt nor buy
your children frocks, Go to work a
something, eat sparingly, dress moder
ately, drink nothing exciting, and
above all keep merry heart anC
you'll be up in the world. Franklin.
Think not that morality is change
able; that vices in one age are not vice.
in another; or that virtues, which arr
under the everlasting seal of right res
son, may be stamped by opinion
Though vicious times inyert the opin
ions of things, and set up new theorie
against virtue, yet hold thou unto oil,
morality. And, rather than follow
multitude to do evil, stand, liKe Pom
pey's pillar, conspicuous by thyseltan'
single in thine integrity Thomas Full