The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-07-07


do about my husband" said the owl,
with sob.
What's the natter" asked the
sympathetic nightingale.
His habits are getting something
dreadful. This is the second time
this week that he has been up all
day"
KITCHEN MYSTERY SOLVED.
Mrs. Nuwed-Bridget, why do my
dishes disappear SO rapidly?
Bridget--Shure, ma am, it's bekase
they're breakfast dishes, I'm afther
thinkin'.-[Truth.
THE INCREASE OF WISDOM.
1t is not until man reaches
thirty that he begins to wrap the
small bills on the outside Of his roll.
-[Texas Siftings.
THE wOsM HAD TURNED.
Have you been reading about the
storm on the face OF the SUM-" asked
the landlady OF the meek boarder as
she put the cream out OF his reach.
Nom. I've all can do to watch
the storms on the face OF the daugl-
ter" he responded sadly Detroit
Free Press.
CONSCIENTIOUS.
The Victim-How many times am
| going to marry?
The Sibyl-Only eight times, mad
II 10 Nnl.
but / must 60 by the cards.
Truth.
CATCHING HIS MOTHER.
Little Clarence Callipers-Mamma,
what is the best thing for boy to do
when he wears his trousers out?
Mrs. Callipers-Get a new pair, !
suppose.
Clarence-No, mamma; wear them
home again.
WHY HE STOLE KISS FROM HER.
She (shyly)-Do you believe that
stolen kisses are sweetest?
He-I don't know; l never stole
one.
Shc-Well, the first time you steal
one, let me know.
He-Ah but where shall / steal
one?
She with far away look in her
eyes)-Oh, | don't know. dare say
there are plenty of chances, and
when you see one you should at once
take advantage of it.-[New York
Press.
THE VALUE OF COLLEGE EDUCATION.
Dearest" said she, suppose n
bull should attack us as we are cross
ing this pasture what. would you
:do?"
That's an awful queer question,
Mabel. You forget | was the great
est sprinter Yale ever had. = Adams
Freeman.
LASTED A LONG TIME.
Willis-When my wife makes me q
present it is sure to be something
that will last.
Wallace-My wife is just like her.
Five years ago she made me a present
of one hundred cigars, and | have
ninety-nine of them yet Life.
EXPENSE.
His hair rippled away from his
brow and the true poetic fire shone
in his eyes, although he was as yet
head salesman in a shoe store.
Sir" he exclaimed dramatically,
dear as your daughter is to me now,
| feel that she will be yet dearer.
The old man gazed upon his son-in-
law in pity.
my boy" he rejoined, II should
hasten to cackle. You just wait until
her trousseau is worn out. Dear?
Well. rather?
The youth stood transfxed in a
hypnosis Of horror Detroit Tri-
bune.
LEATHER THEN.
Dealer-"You say you used to be
in the shoe business. What do you
think of these?"
Customer Cooking at the sample)
~ can't say. You see, they only
made shoes out of leather in my
time Boot and Shoe Recorder.
HoNoRED AND sLIGHTED.
She wore his flowers, did the maiden
gay,
That had cost him dollars ten;
She wore his flowers, but, alackaday,
She danced with other men, New
York Press.
INTENTIONS.
Dora" said her mother TO the
summer girl, isn't that young Mr..
Smithers getting very pronounced in
his attentionsv
"Oh, that's all right, mamma,
said Dora. He doesn't mean any
thing. We're engaged. ."-[Chicago
Record.
BOTH IN THE CAT FAMILY.
What kind of vessel is thatY
asked the young lady, pointing to n
passing craft.
-x.1,.l .La