The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-02-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Philadelphia Record.
The characteristic of our time is that
we have no time. -Fliegende Blaetter.
Long hair on a man covers a multi
tude of crank notions. New Orleans
Picayune.
1t seems that the good points OF
some people have all been broken on.
Galveston News.
It is curious how quiet people can
be about thing without the least ef-
fort. rt.-Indianapolis News.
"You say he is bad egg. How did
Won find it out?" "He showed it the
moment he was broke. New York
Press.
Stranger--"How long have people
been settling here?" Collector-"They
haven't commenced yet. " - Atlanta
Constitution.
Not only can woman laugh in her
sleeve but SO can her whole family, and
there's room for the neighbors, To
peka Journal.
The nearest thing to a vacuum is
letter written merely for the purpose
of keeping up correspondence. Mil
waukee Journal.
Miss Yale-''Do you ever play foot
ball, Mr.. Kansas" Mr.. Kansas. -
''No; but now and then daily with a
cyclone. Halo.
Gudders- "Why don't you act always
as your conscience tells you you
should?" Cynicus-'I make enough
enemies as it is Chicago Record
''What an ethereal, exquisite crea-
ture Miss Smilax is, isn't she? just
look at the dainty pose of that left
arm" "Humph! That amt pose;
it's vaccination. Chicago Record.
Brown-"How long have you known
that man you lent dollar to this
morniug?" Jones--"I never knew
him long. He's been short ever since
/ first met him. Detroit Free Press.
'Is the man Grace is going to marry
rich?" Jennie-'I am sure he must
be from the way he acts. ''Gives her
expensive presents, eh?" "No; hor'
ribly stingy. Chicago hter-Ocean.
'I'm even with Blimming at last,
bHlu lllG hOClCll lNBOAAtAH
"You know how jealous his wife is?
Well, L have alluded to him as great
favorite among the ladies. Indians
polls Journal.
First Passenger wonder why
we are making such long stop 1t this
station?" Second Passenger Ia trav-
eler of experience) )-'I presume it is
because no one is trying to catch the
train. ."-Tit-Bits.
Chollie -'Don't you think it would
be noble thing for you to do with
your wealth to establish a home for
! the feeble-minded?" Miss BoX-'Oh,
Mr., Sappe, this is so sudden !--ln-
dianapolis Journal
''What did you get, popper?" asked
the little fish, as he saw his parent
make dart at a nice fat worm.
Hooks" answered the parent. And
then he scared TO the world above
Indianapolis journal.
Jackson-'I believe / have at last
discovered cure for the ills which
afilict our municipal politics.
McCommick-" was unaware that you
/ were dHAlpuN W ht % l''AANAN"+ HNfN+NNf
-Raymond's Monthly.
Elephant-''Y ia like to keep up
with the times, but l can't afford it.
1t would bankrupt me to have to buy
even spring overcoat Giraffe
But think what it would cost me to
wear standing collars. 80 Chicago
Tribune,
Customer" Among the other items
ON this bill you've got -four and a
half hours work You worked Just
exactly four hours by the clock, Pa
pcrhanger YES, sir; but it tooh me
hall nm hour TO make out the bill. -
Chicago Tribune
"rhere goes Judge Sohkem, said
Meanderiug Mike. IAN old ucqumnt-
nnce of yours, s'pose, reIoined Plod-
ding Pete, sarcastically, "Oh, were
Just ON speakin terms. | know him
well enough TO say mot guilty 10 i'm
oucet in a while. "--, Washington Star.
"Just my luck 20 exclaimed Sowerby,
as he encountered an advertisement
headed "All diseases healed free. ~
Look at that for an offer! And here
am | without So much as single soli-
tary disease about me Did any man
ever have such uck?" Boston Tran
script.
Dusty Rhodes II had a private hoX
at Il food exhibit this afternoon. Fitz
William "How did you come TO get
it?" Dusty Rhodes--'I was looking
IN "a restaurant window 10 see man
make wheat cakes and policeman
stepped nap and gave 1t to me w. Kate
! Fields Washington.