Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1894-03-01
NOT EXACTLY NEWS.
A Few General Remarks and Familiar
Reflections


stopped over in this place, was of an in
quiring turn of mind, and made as thor
ough an investigation of our system o
electric lighting as possible He hal
evidently never travelled far afield, no
had he kept pace with the age on thu
subject of electrical phenomena and ap
pliances. Indeed his education in thi
most truly tin de steele science seems tG
have been confined to the observa
tion of the artillery of the thunder cloud
when the storms of summer swept oyel
his native fields and woods. After study
ing minutely the process of generation
at the plant during several visits, he al
last struck snag. He could not figure
out how the lights were lighted. They
were, he thought, too high up for a man
to mount a ladder and apply match
besides be saw nothing to put ladder
against. Upon questioning the engineer
on this point he was told that man
went along over town each evening, and
let down the lamps and lighted up with
torch.
1t is to be noted, though the subject be
a little nasty, that the latest patented de,
vice is spittoon for use everywhere, but
especially adapted to railway cars and
street ears. The contrivance is to be
placed in the floor of the car. When one
wants to spit he presses button, where
upon little trap door flies up disclosing
an opening in the floor, into which he
discharges his mOuthful of juice, and
lets go the button. The trap at once
closes, and the floor of the Car is saved
from the foul stain. Certainly this in
vention will be hailed with delight by Ia
dies, where skirts are too often bedrag-
gled in the filth which hogs spit over the
floors of cars. But think of the applica-
tion of the thing in the parlor. No man
need now be held back from social en-
joyment because he cannot chew in the
drawing room. By means of this appli-
ance if the thoughtful hostess has tact
fully placed the button, he can when bis
mouth becomes too full for utterance, ,un-
der pretence of examining a picture or
an article of bric-a-brac, open one of
these valves and relieve himself. The
name of the inventor is Kidney. Now
Kidney has achieved immortality, but
his name should have been Lung.
If Mr.. Kidney had been a little earlier
with his invention he would have saved
a young st. Clairsville man much embar.
rassment. This young man was at Wash
ington. He Lad position at the Capt.
tai, and had but lately gone to fill it. He
Was decidedly social in his ideas, dressed
as nearly as possible in the prevailing
mode, and was fond of the society of
young women. But hewould chew tobacco
One bright day he met on tine street two
elegant young ladies whose acquaintance
he had maie only short time before.
He ioyfully accepted an invitation to ac-
company them, forgetting that he had
large cud of particularly juicy tobacco
tucked away In one cheek. The three
boarded street car. Our youth soon
became conscious that he must expecto-
rate or stop talking or swallow. Think
ing that he would fire it out, cud and
all. he got good ready, and seizing
lull in the conversation he made shot
for the end window, near which he sat.
III Il r
him. To his horror great streams of
amber juice flecked with brown bits of
half -chewed weed ran down the glass,
amusing and disgusting the dainty maid
ems whom he had rashly offered to escort.
The young man would have died with
shame, if dying would have gotten him
out of that car. He quit chewing, and
has stuck to it ever since.