The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-06-09
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS eY FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
In the Anarchist Club = N OF for Pub
iiestien--When SkiiIfuiiy Dens--
Thc Right Man, Etc. Etc.
IN THE ANARCHIST CLUB.

Inner Guard Ito Head Center)-
You ordered beers for every man in
the room?
Head Center-Yes.
Inner Guard-Well, there's little
red-headed man who says he never
drinks beer.
Head Center-Confusion, we are
discovered - Pearson's Weekly.
NOT FOR PUBLICATION.
Suspicious Mamma-Ethel, what
detained you SO long at the door just
now when Mr.. Spoonamore went
away?
Ethel Smoothing her rumpled hair)
Nothing TO speak Of mammal Chi
cago Tribune.
WHEN sKILLFULLY DONE.
Sympathizing Friend-It must give
one a queer feeling to have ones
! pocket picked.
Victim-You don't feel 1t at all
That's the misery OF it.-TChicago
| Tribune.
THE RIGHT MAN.
Clara wish / knew Of a good
dentist
Maude-I can recommend you to
one, dear. They say he makes splen-
did false teeth.
PROFESSIONAL INSTINCT.
She was engaged in conducting a
department for magazine, and her
mind was very much with her work.
Did you receive my letter." he
asked
Yes"
The one asking you to be mine?"
"Yes."
Then" he said almost fiercely,
why did you not answer it?"
"Why, William" and there was
both surprise and reproach in her
voice, you know you forgot to send
stamps for reply" - Washington
Star
SCARCITY OF SILVER.
Guest (facetiously)-There are two
spoons in my teacup. What is that
u sign Of?
Hostesss Little Son-That's a sign
that somebody else hasn't got any
spoon.-[Good News.
A GRIEVANCE.
"I'd like to know what ails these
spectacles" !" grumbled Mr.. SKIM
phlint. "i've always taken the very
best care of them, but they've begun
to fail me. | can't see through them
well any more"
why don't you take them back
to the man you bought them Off"
asked Mrs. Skinnphlint.
II would il / could" he reioined
savagely, but he died fourteen years
ago. ."-lChicago Tribune.
TRIALS OF GRADUATING.
Uncle George (sympathetically)-
So you are getting ready to graduate,
Hettie, and | suppose you are full of
work.
Hettie-Indeed / ann The dress
maker is here every day, and it really
seems as though it were nothing but
trying on from morning till night. -
Boston Transcript.
AN OLD ONE.
Talk of killing that elephant in
Central Park reminds me Of baby
that was fed on elephants milk and
gained twenty pounds in week"
Goodness gracious! Whose baby
was it2"
1.-The elephants. ~ Halo.
APPARENTLY ALL HUMP.
The cyclist with an ambition to be
mistaken for racing man rode up to
Il wayside watering trough, steadied
himself by putting one foot on it and
called out to the farmer on the other
side OF the fence:
Can you tell me how far it is to
the next town."
:" | can't tell which way you're
travelin', " replied the farmer, "un-
less you raise your head SOS l can
see where it's fastened on. Pm
n leetle near sighted. "-[Chicago
Tribune.
PRICELESS.
iiSi NsNS, liht HuItSb uIdlHOHus,
sparkle full of light;
Like rubies were her lips; her
teeth like pearl.
| think you'll all admit that | am in
the right
When | contend she was a Jewel
OF a girl.-INew York World.
ONE OF THE EXCEPTIONS.
Hungry Higgins-See this here
sign in the winder?
Weary Watkins-0f course,
Bathing suits"
Hungry Higgins jist wish to
remark, comrade, that it don't suit
me- Indianapolis Journal.
STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
Cholly-Have stick of chewing
gum, ole chappie9
Fweddie-Naw, thanks. My physi-
clan says l have got to quit my