The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-10-09
WEDDINGS AND HAPPINESS.
BILL ARP DIsCoyRsEs ON MAR
RIAGE.

He Talks About the Expense of Other
Peoples Weddings and the HapEi.
ness OF |sfis Own.
oh, my country. L thought that
when me and my wife or my wife and
L had raised our ten children and turn
ed them loose we would have o rest
and our remaining days would all be-
calm and serene. But these grand
children keep coming on and every
new one that comes has to have q sill
yer cup or q silver spoon or something
by way of remembrance. It used to be
cups, but 1t has got dow to spoons
now and i reckon will get down to
safety pins after while. My wife is q
maternal ancestor and is proud of her
grandchildren and these little memen-
toes have got to come, money or no
money. And there are the birthdays
that keep on multiplying ard she
knows every n and wants something
for them. Just q little something"
she whispers, as she follows me to the
door. 1t is these little something's that
keep me on q strain, but Pm going to
Keep on that line as long as / can. She
has been telling me for a month that
/ ought to have a new suit of clothes,
especially as there was O wedding to
come off in the family very soon and |
would have to escort the bride adown
the long drawn aisle in the presence Of
IL multitude. And so 1 tried the cloth
ing stores in Atlanta for u suit with
the tariff off, but l didn't find it. That
kind hasent come yet, and so I shall
brush up my old M for the occasion.
Nobody is going to look at me nohow,
for there are to be ten beautiful brides
maids and as many groomsmen and a
church full OF witnesses and the we'd
ding march is to be played, and 1 could
just drop out of 1t and never be missed.
But 1 did buy my wife u silk wedding
dress and she is as proud as she was at
sweet sixteen, when she stood up by
me with her Augusta clothes on. She
dident have but one bridesmaid, either,
and there wasent much fuss made over
1T. There were no presents at all, but
O few days after.we went to housekeep-
ing seven likely darkies came tramp
ing up to the house and sat down on
the front steps until / came from the
store. My pretty young wife was sit
ting at the window pretending TO sew.
She had a mischievous smile on her
face as l stopped in front of the smil-
ing darkies. What are you all doing
here ?" said I. "What have you come
after, Tip---you and Mary and all ~
And Tip said: "Old master sont us
up here to Miss Octavy and she tole us
W. " "a p"Sil Joo SoIlOs Slu
master tole us we all b'long to you and
Miss Octavy now"
Well, l never felt as helpless in my
life, What to do with them 1 didn't
know. I had no plantation and nc
negro houses and 1t never occurred to
me that I could hire them out. So of.
ter consultation me and my wife or my
wife and | sent them all back except
Tip and Mary and begged the old gen.
tleman to keep them until later. He
enjoyed the joke and said he only
for they had long declared that when
Miss Octavy got married they were
"gwine wild her."
No, we didn't have our share Of we'd
ding. My wife cost me just Sl1 $3.50
to old Brother Patterson, the preach
er, and a dollar and a half for the
license. Cheap, l tell you. A good
wife is the cheapest thing in the
world, for she has done been raised
and clothed and schooled when you
get her. Old Jacob had to work four
teen years for the girl he loved, but he
got some of that back by cheating old
man Labon in the cattle trade. But
nowadays a wedding costs as much as
q funeral costs old folks 1 mean.
From the way things are going on at
my house it looks like the whole fami-
ly are to be married, even down to the
little grand-daughters. who are to be
dressed up as cherubs and mingle
with the angels. 1t takes dry goods
and lace amazing. And the kinfolks
are coming and some dear friends, and
all have to come in bridal array, and
the cake baking business has begun
and old Aunt Ann is as much excited
as If she was to be married too, and de-
clares that nobody's cake amt gwine
ter beat" her cake.
The house has been swept and gar
nished-not a cobweb or a speck in it.
The rooms in the cabin have been
cleaned and carpeted, and for a while
one of them was assigned to me, but /
am ruled out now and will have to hang
up somewhere or sleep on the. hay in
the barn. 1t is u mighty big thing, l
tell you, for u baby girl is going to
step off and leave us-going off after IL
young man who is no kin to her and
never did anything for her but give
her q ring and a book and some French
candy now and then. But it is all
right and according to nature and we