Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-03-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

b1ckeGS. -lrubn,
Consistency is jewel often sold to
pay the price of success. Puck.
A mistake is apt to attract more at
tention to us than virtue. Rams
Horn.
The trouble with many men is that
they will snatch defeat from victory.
Puck.
81 always did enjoy an intellectual
feast, :" said the cannibal, MS he ate the
Yale man.-Life.
When a man pawns his honor he
finds that the legal interest on perjury
is tremendously high Truth.
Judge Ito tramp prisoner) Fifty
dollars or thirty days" Times
money, Judge. Cline thirty days"
A newly discovered weather prophet
says that an icy pavement is sure
sign of an early fall. Hartford Jour
nal.
A Kensington doctor suggests that
a good thing for the Cramps is con-
tract for new warship. Philadelphia
Record.
Christie-"That young Mr. Sapp
talks just like a book, doesn't hep"
Kathryn-"Ye blank book. DE
troit Free Press
He-'There goes Hatton in his new
overcoat. What do you think of him?"
She--"He is simply out of sight. -
Washington News.
"Goodluck has had his salary raised;
was it for extra work?" Eyes; he
always listens when the proprietor
tells his baby's smart sayings"
''How are you getting along learn
ing to operate your typewriter?"
"First rate. / can almost read some
of the things 1 write. Chicago
Record.
Husband (iratelyl-"You think you
know everything, don't you?" Wife
(softly)-"No, dear never did know
why you know so little Detroit
Free Press.
81 am sorry, but the picture looks
like perfect failure to me. Artist
"Great Scott, what perfect success I
must have made of itr'- Chicago
Inter-Oeean. -
She--.'I don't like that Mr.. Smith;
he is always riding some hobby or
other to death" --"Ah, why don't
you call the attention of the S. P. c.
A. people to il. I"
The difference between the wealthy
idler and the leader of an orchestra is
that the formers sole ambition is to
l., L.
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma "What are you and Fred.
die quarrelling about ?' 1--WE were
playing keep house and Freddie came
home and found dinner wasn't ready
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
She els it true that lover never
eats anything?" He-''Not after he
becomes engaged" She--"Why Rot?"
He-''He never has any money to
spare Brooklyn life
Benedict-.'Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
?" Singleton-'I'm afraid there
is. "That's so? Do you know who
it is?" "Yes--her father"
Maude -"Why don't you give
young Sewers some encouragement ii
you love him?" Nell ''Oh, he ought
to he able to press his own suit. He's
" tailor. ."-Philadelphia Record.
Bunker--'T was fool enough yester-
day to tell that doctor of yours that
You sent me-" Hill-"What difference
did that make?" Bunker-''Hc made
me pay cash. New York Herald.
Elderly Madden is so unex.
pected, Mr. Wellalong, that that You
must give me time" Elderly Lover
''Time, Miss Rebecca? Do you think
there is any to spare Chicago Tri
bune.
Forgot herself; Briggs ''You knew
Mangle recently married widow and
went on wedding trip, didn't you? l
SAW him yesterday ON his return.
Griggs Anything happen while ne
was away?" Briggs ''Yes tie SAYS
that in hit of absent. .mindelness she
proposed to him again. = Brooklyn
Life
Here said the very young man,
''is chameleon. "Oh. Mr.. Cillow,"
she exclaimed ''this Is very kinl OF
You. ! shall take goo care ut 1t. - Il
hope you will keep il To remind you of
me-. "I shall take the greatest pleas
ure IN doing So. lAfter @ paasol What
"A pity II doesnt STAY green all the
time, - Washington Star
Mr.. Gotham 80 you ARE going 10
settle IN tho United Statesf' NeN Al.
rival tirom South America Yes.
SIR; they We got 90 drawing tbiHss
little too line ia South america g. sait
nae. Why, ait, ts got so moss that
man cant even get inh at overthrow
Jug government unless ha bslouFs o.
the keyolutionists' Union and hns paid
bic fees regularly io, els moaths -
Nsw York Weekly
~ haFs gal hr,f,Fate plaef fuF
rou. sald m enpioYmeHt aaeHt
tta eaHlan who tlia a etft 4sat ~
&C. hiTa.i girl aer.nlf b, tHaf So
..nHht hut tint sAr sil. .ta rasf q
Yeu "tssg ou mef' stf M Iss
appheant or alaea "Aat asaa sIse
anaM MhY. sae lnAln a. iainf
hHt 40 "a VI HiRhi iainAlna Aas Asks
a. So eYea uH ear u fh a#
iraatei aAeu sh htl t iis
tli Non h4H tNnF