The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1894-11-03
FEAsTED ON THE FREE LUNCH.
The Man from Alabama Enjoyed the Dain-
ties Of y Saloon and Wanted to Die.

The Man from Alabama Enjoyed the Dain-
ties of y Saloon and Wanted to Die.
A party of boys playing near the cor
ner of Twelfth and Canal streets ran
excitedly to a policeman and told him
that they had found a dying man in a
lumber yard near by. The officer has
tened to the place pointed out to him,
and there he came upon an old fellow
lying OF his back, grooming. He ap-
pear>d to be suffering greatly; he was
rolling his eyes, and wholly regardless
of any possible punishment that might
be waiting for him in the eternity which
he was un~questionably approaching, he
would below a blasphemous maledic-
ton upon all life and all causes that
lead to death.
$50 on away from here now" he com
manded, raising up and "walling" his
eyes at the officer.
whats the trouble with you?" the
policeman asked.
"None OF your business. Coon away
from here, 1 tell you. And 1 want you
to drive them there boys away and not
let 'em stand a gain and a ga pin at
me-"
81 guess a little too much whisky is
about all that's the matter with you"
'Ain't touched a drop of Ticker.
Wish l had-wish / had luck enough to
kill me. Go on away now and let me
die"
'You are all right. You are not 60
ing to die"
Look here" he said, propping him
self against a pile of lumber, Il reckon
know my business better than you
do. 1 didn't come all the way from
old Alabama for yon to tell me what 1
am goin' to dc. Reckon / know my
own affairs"
"You say you r from Alabama"
"Yes; fotch a carload of calves up
here, and dinged if l hain't found that
1 am the biggest calf among the whole
lot"
well, you'd better tell me some
thing about yourself, so that word
may be sent to your people in case you
do die"
"Never mind about my people. A
man that's as big a fool as l am ought
to go away off somewhere and die and
not let his folks know anything about
it."
81 don't know whether to call a
| patrol wagon or not" said the officer,
laughing, but with a sever look COM
handing the boys to cease their merri-
ment.
Don't call no him. Jest go On away
from here and let me die alone. l tell
you that as big n fool as 1 am don't de.
serve no sympathy at ALL"
''What have you done?"
The old fellow eased his position
and thus answered.: Il told you that
1 fotch some calves up here from Ala
bam. Well, after l sold 'em 1 put the
money in a letter and sent it home,
afraid that these sharp fellers here
might git the best of me, and then
started out to see if l couldn't gil
the best of somebody myself. KNOWN
that as 1 had no money to speak of
was on the safe side. Well, L went
along down the street, and feelin' pretty
hungry as 1 hadn't eat much to amount
to anything since 1 left home, l stepped
| into a place and set down at a table.
never did see as much stuff piled on {
table. There was a great bowl OF mar
malade in the center of the table, ant
in it was a ladle; there was big bowl o
beets, a peck of butter in little cakes
pickles by the jar, and great piles O
bread. After l had looked at the lay
out l naturally concluded that it would
take a small fortune to eat there, and
was about to get up, when the though
struck me that this might be a goOC
chance to get ahead of the Teller tina
run the house-thought / would ordel
about ten cents worth of something
and then stuff myself while he WASH
looking. Well, that's exactly wha
l did. I dipped into the marmalade
gouged out a handful of pickles, divet
into the beets and pitched into tn
butter, dobbin' on a whole COB at
time. Yes, sir; I'd glance around a
the Teller, and whenever I'd see that h,
wasn't lookin' I'd dive in again. l wa
determined hat for C a man from
my section of country should get aheat
of a Chicago man. l never did stuff 81
eat till 1 could hardly breathe, ant
was about to get up and sneak on
when the Teller that I thought l hal
been foolin' came along and told me t.
eat all 1 wanted to-said that l wa
welcome to everything in sight. Well
1 got up after several attempts ant
staggered out. Wandered around til
l found myself here, and l have lat
down here to die. don't deserve an,
attention, I'm such a blamed fool, ant
] want you to go on away and let m
alone.-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Buying Apples I'm Maine.
1.-THE apple buyers have to be fellow
who can see through a milestone" say
laNNroA