davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

eXorbitant taxes levied by the Govern.
ment. For when the Turk is a money.
maker at all he is exceedingly close.
Even the Greek, who has the reputa-
tion OF being the sharper of the
Orient, is not shrewder at a bargain
than the Turk. But to the latter
the value of time is an unknown
quantity, nor can he the least be
made 10 understand that others re-
gard time as money. 1t is matter
of supreme satisfaction, therefore,
to him to defer even the considera-
tion of the most important and
pressing affairs, and when Turk
succeeds in putting off until the day
after tomorrow what ought to have
been done the week before last he re-
CARDS himself as having achieved a
triumph of intellect. 1t is thus
about as easy to hurry a Turk as to
hasten the march of the seasons. He
cannot be hurried. Whether the af.
fair is that of buying a handful of
tobacco for his pipe, or of negotiating
a treaty for the salvation of Con-
stantinople from the Russians, he is
going to take his time about it, and
to every effort to hasten matters he
will oppose passive resistance far
more effective than the most active
antagonism.
Incidence is reflected in every grade
and class of the people. The street
porter sits down and smokes while
waiting for Allah to send him a Job;
the donkey boy lies down. Nobody
stands up to do anything that by any
stretch Of ingenuity can possibly be
accomplished while seated. Carpen-
ters sit down to saw and plane a
board, shutting inconveniently along
on their hams as the necessities Of
their work demand; when on guard
in positions that do not demand con-
slant watchfulness the Bashi- Bazook
sentinels squat cross-legged on the
pavement, smoking their pipes or Gig
arettes.
The triumph of laziness, however,
is recorded by DIN, who, in his
travels in the Orient, noticed in a
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
ELECTRIC FLOOR-PLANER.
The Lawn-Mower Principle Applied to a
Planning Tool.

The Lawn-Mower Principle Applied to u
Planning Tool.
Applying the lawn mower principle
to the making of planning tool, a
Scotch engineer, Malcolm Suther-
land, of Dumbarton, has designed
the rather unique piece of apparatus
shown in the annexed sketch, and
consisting in brief, Of an electrically
driven revolving cutter, mounted in
a frame on rollers, which, by means
of handles, can be moved about in
exactly the same way and quite as
easily, it is claimed, as the garden
tool mentioned. The lawn-mower
resemblance, in fact is perfect. The
frame, or rather base plate, is of
steel, and carries the cutter on its
under side, while the motor Is placed
on top and drives the cutter through
intervening gear wheels, giving it
speed of 1900 revolutions per minute.
The hind roller Of the base plate,
which follows in the cut is fitted
with eccentric journals, so that, by
moving lever they can be raised or
lowered, and the depth Of cut nicely
adjusted The principal field Of the
machine-the one, in fact, for which
it was specially designed-is the
planning of ships decks, taking off
the pitch and inequalities of the
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

too, for If he were agraven image he
could not display much less interest
Ia the words and actions of his GUS
toners than he does.
When customer enters an estab-
llshment where articles of value, such
as jewels, carpets, arms, ard the like
are sold, there Is a regular formula
gone through, without which the
transaction of business is supposed to
be out of the question. The stranger
comes in, and if noticed at all by
the proprietor it is with grave bow.
A mat is indicated, on which the
visitor squats as uncomfortably as he
can, and an attendant brings a pipe
and cup Of coffee. The goods asked
for are spread out on the floor be-
tween the two, and serious business
begins with smoking. After few
whifIs, the visitor asks how much he
is expected to pay, and for few mo
ments the merchant smokes In
silence, disregarding the Ques-
ton. 1t is repeated, when, after
sufficient interval has elapsed to
satisfy his dignity and give him time
to think the matter over, the dealer
names price about four or six times
what he is quite willing TO accept.
If the visitor is experienced in ORR
entail dealing ne will receive this an
nouncement in solemn silence, and
after cue deliberation will make an
offer of about one fourth of the mer-
chants demand.
A basis is now laid for negotiations,
and the dealer protests that he will
be ruined by accepting one plaster
less than the sum originally named
while the buyer declares that his
ofer is far beyond the value of the
goods, and only prompted by the per-
sonal goodwill he bears to the pro-
prietor Little by little one advances
and the other recedes from the first
prices, and after an enormous waste
of time bargain is concluded, the
adjustment of the last plaster or
two probably taking longer than all
the rest of the transaction. AS it
is, both parties are generally well
satisfied aud separate, each imagin-
ing he has cheated the other.
In spite Of their apparent indiffeI-
ence, the Turks are clever bargainers,
and the outward show of contempt
for such paltry consideration as a
few piasters does not prevent the
keenest possible trafficking in order
to gain small advantage over a
commercial adversary But none of
this is shown in their manner of deal
ing, for nothing could be cooler or
more apparently nonchalant. They
could give New York stock broker
many points in concealing their real
feelings, and still not seem ruifled.
The Turk is not in the least excita-
bic, and things that cause the people
of other countries to grow wild with
enthusiasm hardly make him raise
his eyebrows. Nor is this lack of
emotion in him due to CONTROL
it is simply his nature; he does not
care. He has an idea, tolerabIy well
defined, that the universe will go on
about as we'll without as with him,
so he does not worry when things go
against him nor become much eiated
whep they are in his favor.
1t would seem unreasonable under
these circumstances that any Turk
should ever grow rich, but among the
merchants of the capital and leading
seaports there are many wealthy
men, who have become rich in spite
not only of their natural Indifference
to their surroundings, but also of the
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

seams of deck plank after being laid
and calked. THIS work has usually
to be done under circumstance of con.
siderable inconvenience and disa-
greeableness, the carpenter having
to go down on his knees, driving a
iack-plane before him. together with
wood shavings and other things less
clean. Ordinary floor planning, how
ever, can obviously be done by the
machine with fully as coed results
so that it is not necessarily restricted
to shipyard use.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
Peat for Fuel

Dried peat or turf, cut from bocs,
is largely used for fuel throughout
Europe. Some of it is nodded much
as bricks are, and it is also pressed
into compact balls. One hundred
pounds of peat have heating capacity
equal TO fifty pounds of hard coal, or
to nearly one hundred weight of wood
or soft coal. American Agriculturist.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
A TEST.

Young Mr.. Birmingham was in the
habit of visiting his sweetheart every
evening of the week and twice on Sun
day. On his last call he said, with o
great deal of tenderness in his voice /:
"Mabeli"
"Yes, George"
''Do you think, dearest, that alb
sence makes the heart grow fonder?"
'Perhaps it does, love-, replied the
maiden. "You might remain away
one evening and let us test it. Pitts
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
HARD UP FOR AN EXCUSE.

Mr.. Henlow had advertised for q
clerk and, being n kind-hearted man,
dismissed the surplus applicants as
gently AS possible.
'My lad, he said to the last one,
you're too young for the position.
''Too young!" echoed the unfor-
tunate. "Why, I'm grandfather. Z"
"Well, if I were to hire you it would
be an encouragement to men to be-
come grandfathers at your age, and
I'm dead against anything of the
sort. Judge.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

Col. S1LLowAGE, who saved Presi.
dent Lincoln from capture by the
Southern army, is dying of starva-
tion in Boston. The people at the
center OF learning have long boasted
that more celebrated men die there
than at any other place on earth.
They work up the record by securing
the great men and then refusing to
feed them.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

province of Asiatic Turkey farmer
at work spading his garden. AS any
one knows who has tried it spading
is not an easy task, and requires not
only considerable application Of
muscle, but in addition all the
weight of the body to be thrown on
the spade in order to force it through
the soil. The labor-hating Turkish
granger, however, unwilling to do
violence to his own feelings or to set
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
DEFECTIVE.

"Virtue," exclaimed the humanitar-
ian with the red nose and cotton UNI
brella, and his voice trembled with
feeling as he spoke, sis the armor of
the soul"
"True-" the man of tho world with
lines all over his face mused, "but
blowholes are getting commoner and
commoner, in SO far as my observa-
ton extends"
After that both of them thought
violently for space of several min
utes. Detroit Mich Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

STATISTICS Of immigration to the
United States are Of great interest.
During all the years from 1921 to
1890, we received only 10, 879 Dutch
men from the Netherlands, while
the number of Germans who came to
US during that period was over 4,0Oo,-
900. Ireland contributed 3,4Sl, ,074.
England and Wales 2,430, $50, and
Italy 3s8, 558. France is credited
with 3GG, 434, and Russia 324, 892
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

IT is now stated that a band of
bakers in Vienna are using soap
suds to make the bread lighter than
ever. 1t is hard to imagine a less ap-
petizing concoction than soapsuds
and dough, but it is claimed that so
carefully is it kneaded that the suds
impart "an infinite delcacy" to the
ioaves 1t may be so, but we prefer
our suds straight.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
CONSISTENT CLEAR THROUGH.

Vera Fayre tinquiringly)-"So you
believe that woman suffrage would be
a deathblow to mans chivalry to the
sex? Why, wouldn't you offer your
seat in car just as quick to the wo-
man who wants to vote as to another %
Old MI. Crustie (testily)-"Not at
all. I'd let her stand up for her rights -
Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

nc Victory. Who Likes to Hear
the Truth" - Relief for Mothers
--Womauly precaution, Etc, Etc.
In far awiv
GrrctesIus Clthny.
Where the loo loo siEgs all night
lu willow tree
BY n sad. salt sen.
Brave men went iorth TO fight,
There were Iii Hung Chung
AMI ki Wun Lung
IN bold C1ee Chi Choo Cnam,
With Chang Wong Ching
An1 $ I'm lIoy Sing q
Aul fierce Wah Wee Woo VAN.
Tnera WIS nor sword For gun
But each bravo one
Atom-tom wildly- beat.
And they all cried "Boo !"
At the foe and flew
To "A safe and snug retreat.
There we're III Hung Chung
Aud Ki Wua Lung
AMI bold Cien Chi Choo Cham,
With Chan.; Wong Ching
And sun Moy Sing
Ana lier.e Wah Wco Woo Wan.
1''''' ''
No bloc was spilled,
No one was killed,
But they all marched home one omore, 7
Aud to this day tell Il
How they drove pell-mell ~
The foe from their N,cred shore. 81
There were Ii Hung Chung !
And HI Wun Lung
Aud boid Clee chi Cnoo Cham,
With Chang Wong CHING
And Sam Moy Sing
Aui fierce Wah Weo Woo Wan.
-ChicagoJournal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
NOT TOO LATE.

Simpson-"Been camping out, Ell?
I have little book on that subject I'd
like you to read. "
Thompsou-"Well, 1 can't camp
out again this year %
Simpson--"Never mind. You read
the book. One chapter gives fourteen
remedies for rheumatism. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
EASILY RE1IllDIED.

Guest-"Waiter, tell the landlord
to como here"
Waiter--"Yes, sir"
Landlord-"What can I do for you,
sir?"
Guest-"Why, nobody can cat q
bcofsteak like this; it's tougher than
leather Why, this knife don't even
make an impression on it, much less
cut it,"
Landlord-"To be sure you can't.
But that can bo easily remedied.
James," Ito waiter) "bring the gentle
man another knife. Truth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
THE ROCK ON WHICH THEY SPLIT.

Boxwell-"Well, how's your scheme
Tor cooperative colony coming on 2"
Kimball-"Oh, we've disbanded J.
couldn't agree"
Boxwell-''But l thought you were
all so enthusiastic 90
kimball-''So we were till we came
to plan out the work Then we found
that everybody wanted to edit the
community paper. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

THERE is an Ulster Landlord of
New York City who after thirty
years sojouru in the United States,
is said to be stil loyal subject of
Victoria. He passes part of his time
on his estate in Ireland. and to
please his son, native of the United
states and sturdy American, he
lies side by side upon the lawn the
union Jack and the stars and str, pes.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

"The coffee has a very unusual taste
this morning." said the boarder who
likes TO be disagreeable.
81 have no hesitation in saying that
it is very good Coffee said Mrs.
Hashem, bristling.
eyes" replied the disagreeable
boarder, sit is exceedingly good cof
fee. Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
oNIc WAY POSSIBLE.

Fatigued William--"De gran n aster
hobo NV dc united amalgamation NV
sand-pounders an weary chevaliers NV
de road has ordered dat we all goes
out on strike"
Tired Thomas ''Oh, shoi How
we goin ter do dat?"
Fatigued William --"Quit breathin' Z"
Judge.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

Hnns-"Nel', empty fomo tacks
quick on The street out. l dinks me I
see five picycle riders coming dis way
alretty, on dem wheels vat dey blow
NIT air up. Judge.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

MANY fruit growers were some
what surprised recently to see the
Portland market stocked with Tas-
mania apples, selling at So per box.
The land of "big red apples" will
lose its reputation If she has to go TO
Australia to get apples, even if they
are extra good ones, says the North
west Pacific Farmer.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

CONSUL SMITH, at Mayence, Ger
many, says the German people are
Sailing down" somewhere about six
hundred million dollars annually and
investing most OF it in interest bear
ing securities either at home or
abroad. He estimates the net in
come from such investments at S119,-
900, 900 annually,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
NOT A GALLANT SPOUSE.

"Your conduct is not nice, Emil.
You invite me to take dinner with you
in restaurant, and the moment we
sit down you forget all about me and
bury yourself in the newspapers.
"Pardon me, my dear. Waiter,
bring my wife newspaper. File
gende Blaetter.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
A TRAITOR.

Smith -''i hear that Brown has been
ostracised by the best people of Vacant
lott. Do you happen to know why?"
Jones-'Ho admitted the existence
of malaria to nonresident.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
DID HER BEST.

First Telephone Girl--"Some of
them men is terrible cranky!"
Second Telephone Girl-"Yes, what
was he kicking about?"
First Telephone Girl-"The mug
wanted 761 Harlem, but 1 couldn't t
get 'em, so give him 1852, and told
him that was as near as could come
to it; and he was mad as hornets !"-
Philadelphia Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
TOO EGoTISTICAL.

''Sir. I hear you using the word
donkey very frequently in your cen.
versation."
Eyes; your ears do not deceive you. "
Gam | to understand that you apply
the word to me?"
"Why, what makes you harbor such
an unjust suspicion? Don't you know
that there are lots of donkeys in the
world besides you ?"-Texas Siftings.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
DiMINUTIVE,

81 have been weadins about stwikes
and things, said Willie Wibbles,
''and io you know an idea stwuck my
mind !"
can idea of your own?" inquired
Miss Cayenne.
''To he suah.
Dear me- should think it would
tickle. Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
yINDICTIVE.

Editor" Here is IL scientific item
which says that photographs have been
taken five hundred feet under water.
Print it in conspicuous place.
Sub Editor -"Um what the idea ?"
Editor r-'I am i'll hopes some of
these camera fends will try it. New
York Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

Little Boy-''Whnt's the usejof so
many queer letters in words? Look
at that sc" III ''indicted.
Little Girl-'I guess those is just
put i'll so mothers can get an excuse to
send their children to school and have
little peace. Good News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
woMANLY PROBATION.

"Your wife must have conf
dence in you, to leave you alone in
town while she goes to themountains. "
Hicks-"Oh she takes the precau-
ton to keep me broke all the time"
Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

was surmounted by a typ ewriter, rode
into the arena and typed the messages
taken from the signalers, while a
trained war dog carried the dispatch
es to the rear Whether all this
would do in a real warfare remains,
Of course. to be seen.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

A MILWAUKEE, daily paper, says the
Elevator and Grain Trade, deplores
the exhaustion of our fertile soil and
predicts that the United States will
cease to export wheat inside Of ten
years 1t overlooks the vast plains
Of virgin soil and the demand that
immigration be restricted. We will
never stop exporting wheat on ac-
count of lack Of facilities to produce
it, but our farmers may go into the
production Of more profitable crops
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
WHO LIKES TO HEAR THE TRUTH.

DIistress-''How can | engage you
when it is said that you.do not always
tell the truth? ?"
Servant-''My dear madam, who
likes to hear the truth. ! Do you?"-
Truth
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
REGARD FOR THE UN1TIEs.

Servant please, Mum, Mrs. Mex
door wants you to lend her some read
ing matter suitable for sick per.
son.
Mistress - Certainly. Give her
those medical almanacs. New York
Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

THERE is no knowing exactly how
long a mosquito will live; but he
generally manages to hold out until
another takes his place
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
SHE NEEDED INSPIRATION.

She-'I have vivid Imagination.
But l cannot picture myself accepting
you us husband"
He "Why?"
She-"Because you haven't asked
me. "-Philadelphia Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

The fruit of the mulberry tree is not
much esteemed in this country. Its
chief value seems to be its attraction
for birds, who are thus induced to
spare the cherries.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

THE introduction of predaceous
animals, to hold certain pests in
check, has not proved an unqualified
success in New Zealand. A local
paper of the colony states that the
weasels, which were imported to keep
down the rabbits and rats, are in.
crcasing So rapidly as to become a
serious menace to poultry keepers.
Their success in keeping down the
rabbit pest is problematical, and so
far are they from destroying rats, it
appears that they fraternize with
them, one farmer having found rat
living on merry terms in the same
nest with four weazels.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
THRIFT.

Hans proprietor OF the halfway
house)-"How many beds empty up
stairs, Katrina! !"
Katrina-"Fo Hans.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
THE TYPEWRITER IN BATTLE.

Tho Operator Bestrides Bicyc'c and
Types Messages.
The typewriter on the field of bat
tie is curious sight. 1t has not
quite reached that point yet. but it
was to be seen at the military tourn-
ament in the mimic action. Tommie
Atkins mounted on a cycle, which
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

INSTINCT is more faithful than
reason.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

IN keeping appointments some
folks seem to carry watches without
hands.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

IDLE factories turn out the most
clubs
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

PIRATES treasures are hidden in
credulous skulls.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

A KIND "no" is often more agree
able than rough "yes."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01

WHEN man is right he is seldom
left.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
A BRIGHT THOUGHT.

Mrs. Youngwife-''Have We chop
in the house !"
Cook-"No, mum; but we have a
piece of steak.
Mrs. Youngwife-"Well, take the
axe and make chop of it. Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
TIE NEEnY SIDE OF LIFE,

3-o-srEj TAT ARE roLp b. TIE
FUNNY GIEN OF The PRESS.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-01
ORIENTAL LAZINESS.
THE UNSPE A X ABLE TURK
RARELY STANDS UP.

The Merchant Sits While Serving Custo-
mers-scntinels Sit on Duty-The Farmer
Spades His Garden While squatting Cross
Legged on the Ground.
Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1894-07-13
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