Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-02-15
sprinkles OF Spice.

everything except women and Dutter.
Texas Siftings.
THE world Is full of people who
want to do good, but they are In no
hurry to commence.
MAY-"If you were / what would
you do?" Jack-"Well, first OF all,
I'd let me kiss you. Life.
WHEE man has no bills against
him, he must feel as IL he belonged
to the nobility. Texas Siftings.
as PETERBY good thinker" "He
never INDUCES In anything but a
Pullman vestibule train Of thought.
Judge.
| CUsToMER-Why do you call this
the "after Christmas" rose? Florist
= Because it hasn't a scent. -Indi-
annapolis Journal.
TOMMY, who was Joan of Arc?"
asked the teacher. "NOah's wife"
said Tommy, who is great at guess
ng.-Music and Drama.
HE-Why do you regard marriage
as failure? She-SO many make
use of it to get money belonging to
others. New York Herald.
MY son, observe the postage stamp
Its usefulness depends upon its
ability to stick to one thing till 1t
gets there. -Elmira Gazette.
$50 SHE'S really going to be mar
ried?" "Yes." Il suppose she thinks
of nothing but the future" well,
she only talks of the presents"
MANY men this motto have.
Much to their creditors sorrow;
Meier pay to-day that which can be
Put off until to- morrow.
Buffalo Courier.
The man with an only SOM
"What kind of scholars do you turn
out at this institution" Principal
Those who do not study. "-Sift-
iDgs.
UNcLE-Well, Robbie, how did you
stand at school last term? Robbie
Sometimes with my face in the corner
and sometimes up at the teachers
| desk.
"MY son." said an irate father, "do
you know why l am about to whip
you?" Il suppose because you're the
biggest" said Tommy.-Music and
Drama
PROF. SUCCI TANNA-What will
you pay me to undertake forty-day
fast at your museum. Manager
Well, I'll pay your board while you
fast.-Puck.
| AN OvEREsTIMATE.- you
didn't think my grafton was sOpho-
moric, did you? She-No. On the
contrary, l thought it was rather
"fresh. Brooklyn Life.
HE-Do you think I could get a
pass on your fathers road? She
No; they don't pass anything but
dividends on his road. I've heard
him say so. -Philadelphia Press.
Miss SwEETLY-I always feel per-
fectly stupid when photographer
tells me to look pleasant. Miss
Tartly-How nice it must be to know
you'll get perfect picture, dear.
STILLINGFLEET-"H could you
conscientiously tell Miss Elder that
she Is the only woman you ever
loved?" Tillinghast-"It is a fact.
The others were all young girls. >
Vogue.
THE WFE-Yes, at first, my dear,
the doctor thought that your recent
sick spell had affected your brain.
The Husband-He still thinks so, it
seems, from the bill he sent in
yesterday.
Miss SWIFTLY guess Edwin is
being congratulated. Do you see all
the men rush up to him, now it Is
known we are engaged?" Miss Sew
erly-"Perhaps they are comparing
notes. Puck.
THE really wise man is the fellow
who knows what will be unpopular
before the great, flat-footed public
jumps on it. 1t may also be re-
marked, parenthetically, that he is
mighty scarce.
AT THE THEATER.- Will - Say,
Jack, how much did you pay for these
seats? Jack-Six dollars and half.
Will-Well, next time let's save our
money and go to "a milliner's opening.
Boston Beacon.
PAT Ito parrot, who has finished
whistling Sod Save the QueenD-
@Begorra it's dom good thing yez
hov Crane hthers an yez. If yez was
a canary Ord twisht yer neck fer
yez brooklyn Life.
! TEACHER find only one mistake
in your exercise. You have parsed
monograph as a noun OF feminine
gender. Why did you do that?
@Cause thought it was one Of the
machines that repeats everything you
say"
allow HAS young Fosdick succeeded
out West in the crockery business?"
@Splendidly! Amassed large for
tune in three years" Miraculous"
Not at all. You see, he secured
contract to supply dishes in an in
sane asylum. Puck.
PRESIDENT of the Kitefyers' Ma
tional Bank-"What's this item in
our statement Of assets-$95, 900. 27?"
Cashier-"Yes, sir / thought those
odd cents would look mighty WE'LL
President-"Well, they would look
better IL the item wasn't gold coin
on hand life.
WIFE-"George, wish you be-
longed to my church. The new min
lister Is a man you would like" Hus-
band-"Nots such bigoted Methodist
as the other, then, Is hep" Wife
| sNo: he's very broadi He believas