New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-01-14
THE TALK or THE DAY.

Persons who believe in luck and signs will doubt
less agree that it is unucky to be struck by light
ming Monday, or take hold OF circular saw In
motion on Tuesday, or tumble downstairs with a
coal scuttle Wednesday, or be hit by cable
car Thursday. or fall overheard on Friday, or
marry on Saturday girl who swings ten-pound
dumb-bells or be one of thirteen at dinner on Sum
day, when there is food for only ten.
Other Things Didn't Matter-Judge-Am to UNI
derstand, madame, that you want to withdraw
your suit for dyorce?
but you have charged that your husband neg
lected you, starved you and maltreated you most
:. III you please, sir have Just found out that the
young woman I him with last week was his
sster."-(New-York Weekly.
The American Church Almanac and Year Book
for 1894. issued by James Pott & Co, has many
new features this year that will commend II TO
Eplscopalians, among which may be mentioned
reference and index tables of Scripture passages
In the Prayer Book, rules when to use the Canti-
ces and tables of the appropriate hymns to be used
on every Sunday and holy day In the year No
pains have been spared to make its statistical rec.
ords an accurate chronicle OF the growth OF the
Church during the last year.
Josah-wiam said he'd send us telegram as
Mandy~Land sakes reckon I'll have to learn
say hello frst?-(Chicago Inter Ocean.
How shall we class the crime of wealth." asked
the Anarchist orator. Suppose you call 1t capt.
tai crime" said a man in the audience; and the
suggestion was unanimously adopted.
Nine. Nuhye whispering to her father from from the
country. who is dining with her and party or
| city sts)-Father, You mustn't tuck your napkin
| under your chin. -
Her father lin robust tones,-l know 1t. Emly:
But amt got sdfety-pin fer TO nix lt-QChicaBo
Record
where can you find any polished English IN
Nev.-York?" asked the from Boston "on the
brass signs" promptly replied the man from New
! York
Mrs Parker-Norah. what became Of those cards
Mrs. Van Arstyne and Miss de Mortimer lett mere
Norah2i TUX them. Mrs Parker; didn't think
Mrs ParkerAnd what did YOU do with fsa the nv
t NoTa a sn h deaf to Of ~e IN an thought
she molght use em.(Harper's Bazaar
at is absurd to say that the advisers OF the
President are all blamed fools" exclaimed Cleve-
land Democrat yesterday. The charge Is little
Inaccurate; they not fools, at least not all OK
them; but they certainly blamed
4 loafer is never satisfied with his wages.
A drunkards throat has no bottom TO H. a..
The who hates light Is always aira'o Oh h''
When people have only little religion they are
apt to be ashamed Of II. -. a..
The man goes to bed tired who spends the day
The asest thing for a fool to do is to tell how
As long as prize fighting pays so much better
than preaching. the devil will feel that he still owns
some iiddlers can play tune on one string. but
II never makes anybody want TO dance.
Angels weep on the day a young man begins
10 spend more money than he can make, .,,.
\ hypocrite feels better satisfied with nimsel
every time he sees good man make misstep
-(Ram's Horn.
The suggestion OF Governor Werts OF New.
Jersey that grade crossings be abolished within
the limits of that State is a good In no State
have the accidents due to grade crossings been
numerous.
Bobby-Pop. what has CRATES got such long necks
Fond Parent-God gave them their long necks
so that they could reach the leaves or tne pam,
which only at the top or the tree Ihat IS inc
only way they can get at them .
Bobby after a pause)-Couldnt He have MADE
the leaves grow lower down?-tPuck
4 London paper says that when the missing
word" contests we're declared Illegal, Salvation
Army exhorter addressed a street crowd. At the
erd of his address he tried show how much
stress is laid on the word Repent" in the Bible
our Saviour" he said, spoke the word, and Peter
smoke it," Pause) "And Paul spoke it, Pause)
.IIave YOU read the word?" (Pause) do you know
the word?' dong pauseD And then came the inev-
table policeman who. urgently pushing the preach-
err on the shoulder said grufiy: you get away
young man; you know it amt right We can't
have no nissin' word competitions ere. you
know they're illegal. just stow it,
Mr. Norris cat the restauranO: Yes. sir; small
invariable lunch every day for the last twsIVe
Years Mr. Norris (at home): Great Scott. ms
is the second piece OF roast beer we've mao th's
month. I'm sick and tired OF this sameness: !
don't see Maria. why earth you can't manage
70 introduce a little more variety into our dinners.
brooklyn Life