The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-03-04
TOLD ON THE QUIET.

TOLD ON THE QUIET.
Snap shots by Mental Cameras, for
which the Fighting Editor
Is Responsible.
It is remarkable how many of our
sedate-I was about to say church,
going-business men are anxious that
the Corbett-Jackson mill should be
pulled off at Saltair. But the great
trouble appears to be that they are
all afraid eff what Mrs Erundy would
say.
George Washington would probably
be seriously embarrassed by modern
improvements if he could come to life
again to help celebrate his own birth
day now. He would be painfully awl1-
ward lodging electric cars and he
wouldn't know at all how TO use the
elephone-Boston Globe.
The Republicans in Congress are
loudly claiming that the president will
veto BANDS silver bill, even if it
passes that body; strange, loo, that at
the same time they are doing all in
their power to prevent the president
from having q chance to veto it, All
Sin must surely have been 4 Repub-
lican; judging from his ways that were
dark and his tricks chat were vain
$50
Jinks-What made Knifely such
skinfint in his old age?
Filkins-Well, he began life as a
policeman; there he learned not to pay
for his drinks; he then became an as
semblyman; that taught him not to
pay rare; and, when he finally became
millionaire, he learned not to paw his
taxes. There wasn't much left but the
debt of nature.-Puck.
Those women! Is there ANYTHING
that they will not do on the impulse of
the moment? Recently. in Dubloue.
Iowa, Hugh Robbard was convicted of
the murder of two policemen. The
killing was cold FLOODED and brutal to
a degree Each of the men ,rho died
IN the line of their duty While attempt
ing 10 arrest the bully, left wives and
Gniidren to the mercy Of the world
rms fact alone, one would think.
would preclude any woman from hay
ing the slightest sympathy for the
wretch. But no. A female nv the
name of Mrs. May Fanning-I give her
name in full in order that she NAV
be held in the detestation she so richly
deserves--was employed in the sheriff's
olIlce. Inc manacled murderer, having
been convicted of his crime. was pass
ing through the corridor en route
from the court room to the Jail. when
the woman rushed up, gave the MIR
ueIer bank note, q basket of fruit
and a winning smile, and tenderlv
kissed him. In the bottom of the bas-
ket, underneath the luscious fruit
q toll =
the red-handed murderer that he lad
q friend Who would never desert him
and signed Your Loving May To
the credit of the sheriff, be il said
Your Loving Mays" place was
promptly declared vacant. and she will
nave time to reflect over her inpuIsive
In Boliver, Mo-, lives a philosophical
parent who thus gives his consent to
his daughters marriage: MIR. Cleark
hear is young man that wants TO
get married TO my daughter Civ her
them fight"
Bill Nye's letter of resignation of
the office of postmaster at Laramie.
Wyo, was one of the earlier efforts of
that now celebrated humorist and If
was copied and copied. until it had
circulated IN nearly every town, vii
lage, hamlet and city in america. Fiji
mas rival, however, as to the
manner of resigning, in the person Of
Farmer Fenner, who was made post
master at Stones Corner, in. McHenrv
county, III. The late Worlds fair ie
responsible for it all. He saw the Utah
exhibit, the Idaho exhibit, the showing
made by all the states and territories
in the Great West, and became fully
convinced that Stones Corner and he
should part company. In other words
he was anxious to take Horace Greelv's
advice So in went his resignation No
answer. Another. Same result Sew
eral other designations followed in
quick succession, but no answer ever
came back. Finally he grew desperate;
so he packed up all the postage stamps,
stamped envelopes, money, etc, put
them in mail sack. with another res
ignation. and carried them over to
Richmond. Going TO the postoffice
there, he interviewed the postmaster.
Flinging the mail bag into corner, he
said:
There is the Stones Corner post
office. | have resigned several times
before, but now I've quit"
And he solemnly stalked away Ac-
vi
the postofice at Stones Corner is still
open for business at the usual hours,
a deputy having been put in charge.
Ex-Postmaster of Stones Corner Fen
ner has doubtless settled down some
where in the Great West Where no
one in this vicinity knows We are
liable. however, to hear from him at
any time.
j. D. Agnew returned last week from
a visit to Missouri. Forty-one years
had rolled into the past since he left
there a brave and hopeful youth and
turned his eyes toward the setting sun;
and his eye was brighter and his hair
glossier than when he again trod the
soil that gave him birth, says Jud Boy
akin in the Boise Democrat. How
the scenel Strange faces, |
faces everywhere, and none
were left to greet him of the boys and
girls who had sported with him on the
village green. The bell no longer swung
to and fro in the old school house. The
bell, school house, spring, boys and
girls, swing, all gone Even the mas
ter's grave on the hill had become OBJ
liberated Yes, the hill itself had been
leveled before the onsweep of men, and
the village grown TO city. There was
nothing left the returned wanderer of
the scenes of other days but memory,
sad retrospection. His stay was short; |
he fitted from place to place. visited
Joe Oldham's people Ito whom he de-
ldyered a letter from joel. saw others
who had relatives in Idaho, and then
he was ready to come home.
jim asked a friend on the day he
got home, what did you find back
there?"
Il found" feelngly replied the old
with moistened eye and voice
a little shaky. those hallowed spots