The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-04-12
A FARCE WITH THREE ROLES,

From the Detroit Free Press
Last week an uptown woman bought
an umbrella 1t was beautiful UNI
brella; it was slender. shapely, strong;
it was light, durable and stylish; it had
silk, stick and ball handle, all of deep,
lapis-lazuli blue-and was, in fact, just
what the soul of the woman had long
desired in the way of an umbrella 1t
was bargain, too-a special lot got
by the dealer under one of those extra
ordinary combination of circumstances
which permits him to sell high-class
article for a low-class price-we all
know about it And the heart of the
woman was glad as she paid out four
dollars and ninety-eight cents and or
dered her purchase sent home.
When it arrives she slips off the cover
to gloat over her treasure. She turns it
over and over, admiring and rejoicing,
when suddenly a blemish meets her eye.
On the handle, midway between the
slide which opens it and the polished
sphere of blue that is SO satisfying, arc
two scratches deep enough to penetrate
the blue enamel and lay bare two dull
gray spots of stick They are not large,
to be sure, but they are there, and the
spirit of the woman arises in revolt
She has been imposed upon, but she
will have redress.
Early the next day she takes her
umbrella and hurries to the shop
where she bought it and straight to
the department presided over by that
suave and deceiving salesman.
He is there, still suave and evidently
unsuspicious
You remember selling me this UNI
brella yesterday" she begins
Yes, madam"
81 find that it is damaged, and wish
to return it"
Damaged, madam"
"Yes, here on the handle" and the
two spots are shown.
''Oh, / see." A pause ut is not
very serious, madam"
Sufficiently, however, to make me
wish to exchange it for perfect one"
Certainly, madam" He takes the
umbrella and begins to hand down sew
eral from behind him.
Il wish blue one" said the woman;
"these are black"
There are no more blue ones in that
lot, madam. You remember there were
only two, and the other is gone. / sold
it yesterday afternoon"
The woman had not remembered.
Then, firmly. 81 shall have to have
my money refunded"
Certainly, madam"
''And you will see that the next
purchaser of the umbrella knows that
it is damaged?" This with an air of
high principle
Undoubtedly, madam 1 hope you
understand that did not perceive the
defect when 1 sold it to you"
81 think it may have escaped your
"And, now, my money, please. as am
in hurry"
do you wish cash or credit?'
Cash; have no other purchases to
make"
Very well, madam" He fills out
an order and beckons floor walker.
That dignified official approaches The
situation is explained to him and the
order submitted for his signature.
THE um brella is from this special lot,
you know, Mr.. Smith," adds the sales
man, which we can never duplicate
Certainly, certainly" indorses the
floor walker I'VE are most willing to
take it back
The order is sent to the desk to be
cashed
The woman waits. After moment
she says: Il need an umbrella badly.
viii look over your stock again.
Show me that one"
This is very fine one" the sales
man says, ''the silk is the same as that
in the one you bought; the finish of
the handle is somewhat better"
ut is not so pretty. How much is
Eight sixty-fve."
''Oh, that is too high. There's
pretty one"
Yes, madam" Takes il down
Nine twenty-five"
Worse yet You ought to make
. concession to my disappointment"
1T IS impossible, madam, in these
goods. They are marked very close"
The stock is looked over and over.
The cheap ones are not blue and the
blue ones are not cheap. The clerk is /
most courteously attentive At length f,
the woman picks up the umbrella she
has brought back.
IF should take this again. Il seems |
right that / should have a reduction for I
The defect"
Ordinarily, madam. we would be /
glad 10 give it, but the umbrella dam /
aged is worth considerable more than I
is price"
But it was sold 20 me as perfect At ]
hat price
Still. madam. il Is so little short Of i
perfect that its remarkable value IS net /
Affected / can sell that um brells to- /
lay for 81 9s with the defect carefully I
pointed out"
The money arrives from the oesk- i
Il Is counted out TO the woman She /
,pe1s her purse ard IS about TO put IL /
d Then she lays IL down
- believe. after all" she says with 1
,ut embarrassment al viii take this
again And. picking i up. !
me walks calmly away.