The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-15
ENooURAGER or CONVERSATION
The Talkative Mans Method of Treat
ment for Taciturn Men.

From the Buffalo Express
"If there is one thing more than another
that this country needs" said the talka-
tive man, lit is an encourager of CONVEX
sation. OF course, the women have no
deficiencies as takers, but vast ma
jority of the men Of the United States
cannot or will not talk. They confine
their remarks to a few trivial subjects,
or stay in their shells all the time and
say nothing. Go where you will and take
any party of men, for example, and Won
will find that one, or, at least, two of the
party have to do all the talking. This is
all wrong. Mans vocal organs were
given to him TO talk with, and he should
use them for that purpose l despise
nothing so much as a chatterer, but | do
think that every man should be able to
converse intelligently on whatsoever
topic comes up.
Now l have scheme | think that if
the men who are troubled witch this
taciturn habit will place themselves in
my hands, can cure them in year or so,
make them brilliant and fluent converse
tlonallsts. This scheme of mine is founded
on popularity of the human race which
years of close observation have led me to
believe is universal. You have probably
noticed that when a man has fit of sick
ness and has recovered, he is full of talk
about that sickness and his conduct and
condition during the attack. And when
man has chronic disease he insists
upon talking about it at any and all
times. This popularity of the human
animal is the root of my scheme.
After get thing in running shape, l
shall advertise for patients, and when a
man comes to me and tells me that he is
not able to talk fiuently, that he is halt
ing and backward in his speech, and that
ideas do not readily present themselves
to him, / shall begin with him in scien-
tiic manner. | have figured out that, of
all the chronic diseases, rhumatism is
about the easiest of the lot That is to
say, rheumatism is just as painful as any
of them, but there is less likelihood of a
mans dying of it than there is of con
sumption, and If a mans got to die to
to learn talk, he might Just as well
be dumb. shall take this
man and expose him to
all sorts of weather I shall do those
things with him that are likely to give
him nice, fat dose of rheumatism
Nine times out of ten he will get it, Then
the battle is half over. After he has had
it good and hard, he will begin to talk
about it to his friends. If the attack is
particularly severe, he will talk about it
TO everybody he sees. Then l shall cure
him up bit and turn him loose on the
SIfeeuS. lie Will SUN nave enough tWingeS
of pain to remind him of the disease. and
he will keep on talking. All this time |
will be coaching him in general converse
ton.
The disease will have given him an
idea of what it is to talk, and my instruc-
tions will make plain to him what he
should talk about. From pains in his
legs he will naturally go to topics of the
day, and from them to the more abstruse
questions of craftsmanship and politics
and religion and economy. which should
be discussed by every man. Then by the
time his rheumatism has left him the
talking habit will be so firmly fixed that
it will be second nature to him to con-
verse with anybody on any subject which
may be brought up.
"Of course, this treatment seems lit
tie rough, and l may be able to decide on
some disease which will not bring in it's
train the pain that comes from rheu-
matism, but, up to date, that is the
medium for the cure. 1t never fails to
work. Why, once knew a deaf and
dumb man. Naturally he didn't talk
much, but he wouldn't even use his fingers
or write on a slate. He got the grip, and
got it good and hard, and I'll be blessed if
that man didn't wear his fingers 10 the
bone making cuss words, and also got his
little brother to swearing for him. That
wasn't exactly conversati ton, to be sure.
but it was something, and it proves that
my plan for the promotion of intelligent
ak is built on foundations of truth"