Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-02-22
Let Us all Laugh.


SEEING is not always believing.
For instance we see liars frequently.
The diamond has the most sparkle,
but the window-glass does the most
good.
The passion some women have for
attending auctions is more-bid
taste. -Siftings
OF all queer sights in a courtroom
the cross examiner is the Querist.-
Yonkers Gazette.
THE British attack took all the
spring out of the Sofas Of Sierra
Leone. Lowell Courier
THE reason those people succeed so
we'll who mind their own business is
because there is so little competi-
tion.
OUR experience in Western society
has been that everything is very
pleasant until the singing begins
Atchison Globe.
THE King of Italy is not much
over five feet in height; Uncle Sam,
also, is rather short at present.
fnllduelpnld Ledger.
CUsToMER-That's a queer shaped
piece Of pie. Looks something like
a turnover. Waiter-No, sir; it's
left over.-Good News.
The only time man can perfectly
control himself under excitement is
when he is hunting a burglar
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
MRS. NORRIs-Do you mind my
having a dressmaker in the house
next week? Mr. Norris (craftily)-
No; not if she's pretty.
ONE of the times when a woman
has no mercy on man is when he
comes to her store to buy a bonnet
for his wife.-Ram's Horn.
"BILKE1N's is a strong face, or I'm
no Judge of physiognomy. "1t ought
to be. He and his whole family are
living on it. buffalo Courier.
ORIGINAL sin was the cause Of the
fall of man, and now when man
falls it is the cause Of good deal Of
original sin.-Binghamton Republi-
can.
AFTER the meet: Miss Harkaway-
"And how did you get on after the
first fence?" Mr.. Newe- Nimrod-
ooh, I-er-got off at the first fence"
It'd Bits.
Mr.. WICKWIRE-"I have had such
a queer humming noise in my head
all day." Mrs. Wickwire-"Why don't
you try little machine oil?"-Indi-
annapolis Journal.
PIKE hear that a number Of
ballots were thrown out in my dis
trict as detective Dyke-What was
the defect? Pike-Cast for the
wrong candidate.
AUNTIE-It isn't good form to hold
your fork in that way. Little Nice
Aunte, do you think it is good form
to stare at folks while they are eat
ing?-Good News
BLUsTER-Do you mean to say that
I am liar? Blister-l hope that /
could not do SO unyentleman a
thing. But see you catch my idea.
-Bos ton Transcript.
By permitting smoking only as a
reward for good behavior, the Belgian
prison authorities have been able to
weed out a great many petty trou-
bles. -Philadelphia Ledger.
Il MUST say that our union men
work like lightning" says the jocose
general manager. "HOw is that"
asked the proprietor. "They rarely
strike twice in the same place. -
Truth.
The white TO ks spend great deal
of time and money trying to curl
their hair, and the co.ored people
patronize every peddler who sells a
decoction warranted to take the curl
out -Atchison Globe,
YOUNG WIFE-What is baby try
ing to say, dear? Husband-Give it
up He seems to be trying to manu-
facture word about twenty sylla-
bles long. Young Wife-Isn't that
lovely. He'll be d great scientist
some day.-Puck.
SUNDAY-sCHOoL TEACHER And
the dead arose from their graves and
appeared to many" Undertaker's
small daughter (giggling) = Then
they must have looked awful funny.
You know the shrouds only go half
way round. Judge.
Two LADIES in a trolley car were
discussing young gentleman friend
Has he any talent for drawing?"
asked one. "Of course" said the
other spiritedly, che told me be once
drew beautiful turkey at a rattle"
Philadelphia Record.
HE-"You say there are no flowers
for the dinner table! Where are the
chrysanthemums sent homer" She
-@Oh. George, don't speak so loud;
you might hurt Bridgets feelings:
she didn't understand what they
were and has cooked them in milk"
Life