Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-01-06

pity or IL Is thGt abuse so unmerlteO, anu
SO long continued. has called forth no cham
pions from that sex which owes so much to
woman. in every relation of life.
The condition of mother-in-law Is one fun
of pathos and self abnegation. and all the
reproach attached to 1t comes from those
whose selishness and egotism ought to rem
der their testimony of small value. A young
man, for instance. falls in love with girl
who appea to him the sum of all perfec-
tions-perfections partly inherited from, and
partly cultivated by, the mother at whose
side she has lived for twenty years. she
IL the delight of her mothers heart she
fills all her hopes and dreams for the future;
and the girl herself believes that nothing
can separate her from mother so dear and
30 devoted
While the man Is wooing the daughter.
this wondrous capablity for an absorbing
affection strikes him as a very pretty thins.
In the first place, 1t keeps the mother on
his side: in the second he looks forward 10
supplying this capability with a strictly per-
sonal object. At this stage his future
mother-in-law is a very pleasant person, for
he Is uncomfortably conscious of the beloved
ones father and brothers. He is then thank
full for any encouragement she may give
him. He gladly takes counsel with her;
natters her opinions. makes her presents.
and so works upon her womanly instincts
concerning love affairs that she stands by
his side when he has to speak to papa,
and through her favor and tact the rough
places are made smooth; and the crooked
places, plain. Until the marriage Is over
and the longed-for girl his wife, there Is
no one SO important in the lovers eyes as
The girls mother.
A Different Atmosphere.
Suddenly all is changed. When the young
people return from the bridal trip there II
q different tone and a different atmosphere.
The young husband is now in his own house,
and spreading himself like a peacock In full
feather He thinks mamma too interior
Ing He resents the familiarity with which
she speaks to his wife. He feels as If her
SPECULATION about their future movements
was an impertinence. He says without a
blush that her visit was "a bore" And the
bride being hat.ered by his desire for no
company but her own. admits that dear
mamma is fussy and effusive." Both have
forgotten the days in which the young hus-
band was a great deal OF bore to MS
mother-in-law; when indeed 1t was very
hard for her to tolerate his presence. and
both have forgotten how she. to secure their
happiness sacrificed her own wishes and
prejudices.
see her child before she realizes she Is
bore? How many snubS and heartaches
does she bear ere she coHprehendS the
position? She hopes against despair She
weeps, and wipes her tears away; she tries
again. only TO be again wounded her own
husband fretS little with her, ana tnen
with a touch of anger at his unSrate1ui
child, advises the mother Ito let her alone.
But by and by thers is a baby, and she can
no longer keep away. She has a world OF
loving cares about the child and its mother.
She is sure no one can take her place now.
She Is very much mistaken. The baby Is
q new kind of baby; there has never been
one quite such a perfect pattern before,
and the parents-exalted above measure at
the perfection they alone are responsible
for-regard her pride and delight some
infringement of their rev honors and re-
sponsibilities Happi1 ess has only harden
ed them, and after a little the mother and
the mCther-in-law understand her loss and
humbly refrains from interfering. Or, If
she has imprudent tongue, she speaks
unadvisedly with it and her words bite
home. and the mother is forgotten and
the "in-law remains, to barb every ILL.,
natured word and account fer every selfish
unkindness.
Where t:ie Trouble Lies.
OF course in a relationship which admits
of endless varieties this description fits
only a certain number. But 1t is a very
large number. for there are few families
who will not be able to recall some such
quaint&nces. Still many daughters do more
virtuousIy and cherish loyal affection for
their old home. If they wise and low
ing, and specially unselfish, they will likely
carry their matrimonial bark safely through
those narrow shadows which separate the
two households. but the trouble is, that
newly married people are both selfish and
foolish. They feel themselves to be the
only persons of consequence and think that
all things ought 10 be arranged for their
ms iaSf of he
wire's housekeeping is not to be criticised
qualified or inspected; the new made house
holder does not believe that the earth is
the Lords. or even the children of men S:
IL Is all mis- own. And their friends tacitly
agree TO smile at this e3otism awhile, be-
Cause all the world really does love a lover.
and every one is willing to grant the bride
and bridegroom some short res pite from the
oreary cares and everyday business of life.
Two points are remarkaDl in this persist
ent antagonism to the mother-in-law. The
hrst Is that the husband who is often
specially Nindictive against his wife's
mother has very little to say against her
male relatives IL the girl he marries is
mCtherlesS, he does hot quarrel with his
father-in-law, though he may be quite as
interfering as any mother-ir law could be-
Yet If the GIL instead OF being motherless
Is fatherless. the husband at once begins to
snow MS love Tor his wife by a Systematic
dis-espcct toward her mother Yet per
hapS month previously he had COZ sidered
her very amiabie lady. he had shown her
about all the details of his marriage What
makes him a little later accuse her of
every domestic fault? How is Il that she
has suddenly become $50 self-opinionated ?''
Never before had he discovered that she
treats his wife like child and himself as
an appendage. And how does he manage TO
make his bride also feel that dear mamma
Is Try ing and unable to understand
things" It is a mystery that ends, how
ever. ia the mother-in-law being made to
feel that her new relative totally disap-
proves of her. The truth is. the lover was
afraid of the men of his wifes family be-
Tore marriage. They might seriously have
interfere1 with his Intentions After mar
rage H. knows they will be civil TO him
Tor the sake OF his wife. Then the women
or the family were use full to him before
marriage after il. he do without them.
lie mas got the woman he was 50 eager to
her entirely. \ smile. or a word. or an
act OF kindne-s 70 any one else is so much
taken from his rights He desires not only
10 uSurp her present and her future, but
also her past.
An Unjust DISCRIMINATION.
The other remarkable point is he unjust
snlrtinS of all the mother-in-law's short
cominss TO the shoulders of the wife's
mother; this is especially unjust because
not only the newspapers of the day, but
also the private knowledge of every indi-
nfsba