Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1894-12-20
A SLICK slMPLEToN.
Such was Hnpls slippery slips. Sorry
Soldier.


Such was sinpls slippery slips. Sorry
Soldier.
Early in our late civil war there was
In the eastern army man, or IN indi-
vidual, whom we called Slippery Slips
Private Slippery Slips, high private
In the rear rank, quinine skirmisher,
a great friend Of the surgeon and the
sutler. Well, slippery was a tall,
lank, lean, lop-sided, ,stoop-shouldered,
long-legged, big-footed (hc often put
his foot down and very often into it),
sharp-nosed always nosing into ev-
erything), long-eared. toothless, keen.
sighted, short-haired, awkward gawk,
but no fool by great sight. lie was
just the kind Of a man that would
make . good isthmus II he were
stretched across somewhere. Well,
this eccentric phenomenon enlisted
out Of sense Of duty mingled with .
sense Of patriotism, Is well IS sense
Of shame at the thought Of being
lounging around home with the wom-
en-, when all other able-bodied men
were In the field, defending their
homes, firesides and liberty. He was
hardly ever known to be without his
hands In his pockets-pants pockets
unless he could not possibly, for the
time being, spare them to put there.
His father never could break him Of
the habit, though he had tried thou
sand times and ways. Well, when out
on drill (before they received their
guns, Slippery would slip his hands,
one or both, owing to whether he
could spare both or not, into his pock-
cts, and the captain would call out to
him in a stentorian voice: Take your
hands out Of your blasted pockets, you
awkward gawk, your Slippery, jump
ing like he had been shot at and
missed, would slip them out like an
obedient servant, and all would 60
well and according to tactics for
awhile-till Slippery would forget
himself again, and in would go his
hands again. Glands out Of pockets!"
the captain would command, much
louder than ever, and Slippery would
slip them out, though rather precipi-
lately, but without any feelings Of
luminosity or animadversion toward
the captain.
At last the captain could stand 1t no
longer, and he addressed few brief
remarks, though they were lucid to
Slippery, as follows III you don't
keep your hands out Of your pockets
while on drill, without having to be
made to do SO, why, I'll make YOU"
well, look here, Cap" said Slip
perry, comprehending the crisis fully,
III you only will break me Of the
habit, or can, I'll forever and forever,
amen, be under everlasting and ever
lasting obligations to you, and SO will
dad, for he's been trying to break me
of 1t from time immemorial and l
don't know how much longer-I guess
from everlasting-and he don't seem
to have made much Roadway; least
wise, ! don't see much improvement
or much abatement Of the symptoms,
as the doctors say. The habits chronic,
captain, and the doctors all say that
anything chronic is hard 10 break up;
leastwise l find it pretty middling,
tolerably hard like to break this here
up. i"
Hold on you endless chain pump
gobbler YOU" said the captain. "Will
you talk forever, II not halted?'
well, l reckon mighty near 1t; al
ways was
stop, tell you," cried the captain,
land there, again, take your big fists
out Of your pockets"
"Well, will, l will, Cap. Idon't do
1t out Of any cussedness; only will
be tarnally forgetting it. They go in
themselves, unswsres like, like by