Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-03-29
SprinkIes of Spice.

SprinkIes of Spice
You can easily I'll the public eye
II you have the dust. ---SiftingS
THERE is nothing more positive
than woman's negative. YonkerS
Gazette.
You never realize how near an
alarm clock is till it goes of. -
Yonkers Gazette,
JoNEs-What does he do? Brown
DO? Why, he does everybody
Florida Times Union.
ONE reason why some men are So
lean is because they have thrown all
their fat into the fire. Dallas News
A TART is a little pie. but in the
composing room little pi has often
made more than one tart Lowell
, Courier.
LANDLADY-Do you like your steak
rare, sir? New Boarder - Yes,
ma'am, rare as once month. Boston
Courier.
If a way has been found to control
the power of Niagara Falls why not
try it on the Niagara hackmen?---
Detroit Sun.
THE whole money-getting world is
running a race for dollar which
may be counterfeit when it is caught
-Picayune.
THERE'S a lesson TO be learned
| from the pin, my son. 1t is given u
head that it may not go too far. -
Boston Transcript
HElREss-"There's a man after my
own heart" Papa-"Who?" Heir
ess-"The count But he won't get
| it."-New York World!"
A LONDON paper publishes the
names of several public men who use
hair-dye. The dark secret is out at.
last. -Philadelphia Ledger.
MABEI-"Do you not think -dr. De
Little a man Of small caliber?" Grace
Perhaps, but I'm sure of one
thing: he's big bore. "--London
Life.
BURGLAR-Sho, miss, I wouldn't
harm a hair Of your head. Young
Woman-It isn't my hair that I'm
thinking Of; it's my pocketbook.
Judge.
THE HE1REss-l don't see why you
fell in love with SO homely a girl as
myself, George? George-Oh, my
dear. know you are as good as gold
Judge.
allow DO YOU know she is plain
looking? You haven't seen her" Il
wrote to her in praise Of her intellec-
| Nv nd ha In Tn1
Boston Transcript.
"RELIGIoN, says the Manayunk
philosopher, makes good armor in
the battle of life: but many who are
too lazy to fight use it as a cloak. p
Philadelphia Record
Us ToMpKINs henpecked?' ais
he?" exclaimed Potts. Il should say
he is. He doesn't even dare to claim
a full proprietary interest in his own
rheumatism. "-Indianapolis Journal.
WEARY RUGaLEs-"I'm goin' to
git m hair cut" Dusty Rhodes
"Gee whizl Whit fer?" Weary Rag
giles (hysterically)-"Why, der peo-
pies gettin' to take me fer 3 poet."
Truth.
A SHUTTLE Of frozen boots, dull
thud, a few . and an
other citizen is filed with regrets
that he did not take to the middle OF
the street In the first place. Pitts
burg Dispatch.
| SuNDAY-sCHooL Teacher-What is,
your definition Of an honest man.,
Johnnie? Johnnie Whose father is.
a First Ward politician)-A man who
stays bought when he's bought. -
Philadelphia Record.
BLOBBs-"Did Funnicus enjoy him
self at the church fair last nighte"
Slobbs-"Not a bit. There were
oysters in the stew, and it was
positively painful to see his disap-
pointment philadelphia Record
JACK What's Georgia doing yoH-
dah?' Reggy Collecting his
thoughts" BLACKWELL, If they're
as bad as his pokah debts he'll dun
himself into insanity before he gets,
there, b. Jove!"-New York World.
PoLITENEss explained: Mrs. Mori-
arity doing Paris)-"D'ye notice how
polite these Frinchmen are to wan
another" Mr.. Moriarity-"Yis be-
CORY! do behave each wan av thin
is afraid av livery other wan av
| the no. Puck.
MASTER examining class in geog-
raphy)-"What is the name Of this
town." Pupil-aBirmingham." Mas
ter-.What is it noted for9" Pupil
"Firearms Master-.What are fire.
arms?" Pupil-"Poker, shovel and
tongs. '-Tid-Bits
would you call Dexter "a. poet?s
mo, sir. He is 9riminal. "A
what?' criminal. That's 4aswordof
my own. IL man who commits.
crimes is criminal don't see why
a man who commits rhymes shouldn't.
be IL riminal Life.