Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-02-01

Brother Gardner EnIls htsns The Club
on the Essentials Of Sacred His

ue mali UO-IlRnb WISH Gil 10 stcp uiS
way" said Brother Gardner when the
routine business of the last meeting
Of the Limekiln Club had been dis
posed of. ii A''
The brothers named were present
and after considerable hesitation they
arose and advanced to the. platform.
1t was seen that Comealong had lately
lost three front teeth and that Stand
up had one eye closed and a battered
nose.
Seem lcn," observed the president
as he looked down on them with q
very serious countenance, "by-law
No. TAP of article 821 plainly reads dat
members of dis club shall not ingage
in religus or political arguments or
discushuns. About cherry three
months for de last five vars / have
called speshual attenshun to dat by
law. On three different occashuns
members hav bin expelled fur breakin'
dat rule. In spite of oil dat has bin
said an dun, howeber, de two members
befo' me hev bin guilty not only of
breakin' de rule, but of tryin' to
break each others heads. Brudder
Jackson, what yo' got to say fur
yo'self?'
~ Said dat Eve had red ha'r, sab.
'Brudder Johnson, what yo' got to
say?"
II said she didn't hev."
San dat precipitated a mortal COM
bat?"
Eyes, sab"
"Befo' de mortal combat was pre-
cipitated, howeber, boat Of yo' called
each other liars, and boss thieves,
an robbers9"
The guilty pair bowed their heads
in acknowledgment.
"Brudder Jackson, did yo' cher see
Ever"
"No, sah."
'Did yo', Brudder Johnson"
"No, sah."
"Kin either one o. yo' pint me to
any description given to color O. her
harp"
They mumblingly acknowledged
their inability to do so.
"Now, yo' h'arken to mel" ex-
claimed the president, as he drew
himself up and emphasized his words
with extended arm. ''De verdict am
dat boat of yo' be bounced out O.
dis club 'with-right off-widin a
minit-an' dat under no sarcum-
stances will yo' be restored to men,
bership! pze gwine to put stop to
dis sort Of bizness il / hev to bounce
cherry member o. de Limekiln Club
an run Paradise Hall all alone De
idea of two ole gray-headed niggers
wastin' DER breaf ODER de color of de
ha'r of a woman who libed thousands
of vars ago. Who knows whether
her ha'r was red, black, white or pea
green? Who keers? How you gwine
to find out if yo do keer?"
Please, sah"-began Brother jack
son as he looked up.
"Silence!" Numbered the presi-
dent. Muffin yo' kin say will change
my decishun / want all members
of dis club to thoroughly understand
de posishun of affairs befo' we drop
dis subjick. Oar was an Adam an an
Eve. Dey resided in de Ga'den of
Eden. Eve tempted Adam, an dey
had to move. OATS plenty; dat g
all we want to know. We doan' keer
2 cents how tall dey war, how much
dey weighed, or what was de size of
DER feet.
"Dar was flood. Noah built an
ark an foated aroun' an was saved.
We choke off right dar. We doan'
keer whether he was married or single
white or black-tall or short. We
doan' keer whether it rained fo'ty
days or only thirty-nine an a half.
"Cain killed his brudder Abel wild q
club. It's none o. our bizness to AK
whether dot club was of oak or hick-
ory-whether de KILN took place
Sunday mornin' or Wednesday even
in. We doan' keer whether it was
| outdoahs or i'm de house.
'Dan'l was cast into den of lions
.mebbe six. Mebbe dem lions was
| hungry-mebbe not. Dey didn' t
want no fuss wild Dan'l. Why dey
didn't am none O. our business. All
we keer for am dat Danl got out all
right.
Jonah was swallered by whale
an cast up agin. was 1T a small
whale or big one? Was he black or
white? Was he waitin' dar to swal-
Ter Jonah, or did he just happen
long at de right mint? None o. our
dizziness! All we keer fur is dat he
was cast out agin.
''Dis am whar l stand, gem len,
an whar shall continer to stand, an
| such as can't stand wild me kin take a
walk Brudders Jackson and John
son, yo' kin make yo'selves skass !
Git out an stay out! Yo' can't come
yere no mol If, in gwine down de
alley together, one of you declares
dat Job had chilblains stead Of biles,
an de odder calls him liar an gifts
up fight, it won't be muffin to dis
club and nobody will interfere. We
will now blow out de lamps and prog
nosticate homewards." - Chicago
Times.
The Well Of Serpents."