davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

BzIdagroouass bend. In Delaware.
To get married seems an easy thing
20 the young man whose fancy lightly
turns 20 thoughts of love. But when Sc
comes TO the actual ceremony there are
q thousand and one terrors which sur
round and threaten to overcome him.
Marriage in some states is easy; in.
others it is as difficult as obtaining q
divorce
A well-known Philadelphian was
about to be married to q beautiful
young woman who lived in the state
of Delaware. He had no idea that
the marriage laws of that state were
cured his license and thought that
was all that was necessary
Have you fled your bond yet?'
said some one to him the day before
the wedding.
''What?'' gasped he.
''Your bond" repeated the cues
toner. you know every man who
is married in this state has to file a
bond for the protection of the state. -
The bridegroom was rather dubious.
but was finally persuaded that this
was fact
"I'l see lawyer about it in the
morning, said he. So he went to a
friend, who was legal light, and
said:
see here. They tell me I have to
1--WE bond to the state when I get
married %
Certainly. Haven't you done SOP,
in surprised way.
mo. I never heard of such a thing
before. What kind of bond is itP"
.'Oh, any real estate will do"
But haven't any real estate"
The lawyer looked at him a moment,
Then he solemnly said:
Haven't youzany friends who own
property?'
''None that care to ask to bind it
it up that wav. I can't ask my
brides relatives, you know
His friend looked at him pityingly
You can't postpone the wedding, can
you?"
WHAT" fairly shrieked the unfor-
tunate.
'of course. of course not " said the
legal light soothingly. But the poor
bridegroom looked stricken.
''Pll tell you what Tll do, old man.
I'll tend to the matter for you. Don't
give yourself any more concern about
it.
The -about-to- be-married
grasped his hand He could not
speak for a moment and then he
poured forth his thanks He picked
up his hat in a relieved sort of way
and walked to the door Then he
turned.
by the way, I forgot to ask you
required?"
Fifty cents" said the lawyer,
Philadelphia Press.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others AID enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health Of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced In the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
alive; efectualIy cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
It has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval Of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it Is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists In SOC and 81 bottles, but it is man
nfaetured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name Is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup Of Figs,
and being we'll informed, you viii not
accept any substitute if offered
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

or learn the whereabouts Of one
Chevalier Adrien &c Mauprat. He
handed the saturnine guardsman,
who advanced into the room as far
as the hem of the coarse gown of the
gray brother, whom he evidently
held IN repugnance, paper gar
nished with seal and his signature.
This IS your warrant TO apprehend
him; clap him into a closed chair.
and bring him hither. Away
When silence had fallen again
after this inroad, Father Joseph be-
gan slowly. with a Mortified air,
which spoke entire tracts in support
of the change of spirit he hoped to
be thought undergone since he was
a brilliant soldier in opening life
The better to delude Count Baradas
and veil the royal suit. it IS pro-
posed to marry the minion with vourt
adopted child. u
WED Julie to Baradas!n ejacu-
lated the cardinal with a kissing
laugh. 'sNo; I have another bride
for Baradas-one more faithful than
the love of tickle woman; sorrow
never knew SO sure soother; and
when she clasps his neck she will
never disentangle her single arn
till he has breathed his latest therel
Joseph. the sword of the headsman
has not cured these bloodthirsty
dukes, earls and marquises. and by
the e'er-burning lamps above, Bara-
das shall end on rope! Are you
going brother?" for the monk had
risens and after pulling his cowl
down on his nose, and folding his
hands within his gown. Joseph, y he
went on, in a voice querulous with
age, 81 did omit an Ave in my ma
tins; atone the erievous fault for me.
Joseph. I am weak, you strong with
the scourge, it were but charity to
take my sin on your broad shout
ders."
But the capuchin, without winclng
at the pleasant invitation, responded
with humility, admirable for its sim
certify if not assumed, and still more
amirable for it's successful imitation
if the reverse
81 should never be guilty of such
criminal presumption as to mistake
myself for you," and shuff1ed out of
the cabinet while Richelieu eyed
him astutely to the last, forced to
doubt even him.
go friendship said he, .'thou rose
without a thorn! why do we fear
even to pluck thee and carry thee to
our bosom, lest a worm is in the
folded inmost leaves? All, Joseph,
why have you uttered never a word on
the kings promise to make you car
dinal if you will sell your master
with his budget of state secrets?
Perhaps, because you guess that the
credit of Louis stands not strong at
Rome! sooner bishop thanks to me,
than a cardinal thanks to any lay
potentate in Christendom!"
ITO BE CONTINUED.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Farmers of fine Nortbwest.

The rigid winters and dry, scorching
summers with which you have to con
tend, have played havoc with your
crops, and consequently made life al
most unbearable, not to speak of un-
profitable.
The Southland, with it's mild all
year-round climate and seasonable
rains, offers a tempting home for the
countless mum Der of unsatisied farmers
of the northwest. The Missouri Pacific
railway, approaching this fact will run
a series of harvest excursions from
points in Nebraska, Sept. IL and rs, and
Oct. o, 1894, to parts in Arkansas,
Louisiana, Texas and the southwest.
Tickets good 20 days to return and
liberal stop over privilege granted.
Be sure to call on Missouri Pacific
agents if you contemplate going on
one of the excursions.
II. G. TOWNSEND,
General Passenger Agent,
ST. Louis Mo.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
what TroubIed Him.

The habit potentates have of trav-
cling incog. frequently causes suffer
ing where it is least expected. It is
told of the Emperor Joseph Second,
that once. while travelling in this
fashion, he put up at an inn kept by
an Englishman. After eating few
slices of ham and biscuit he went ia
bed In the morning he paid his bill
and departed. A few hours after sew.
eral of his suite arrived, and hearing
the rank of his guest the landlord APP
peared much troubled.
"Pshaw. mani" said one; Joseph Is
accustomed to such adventures. and
will think no more of it -
But shall,' said mine host, land
never forgive myself for having had
an emperor in my house and letting
him off for three and sixpenceI"-
Harper's Young People.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
GRAINS OF GOLD.

To willing mind hard times are
easy.
Say less than you think; only half
what you say.
Those who are greedy of praise
prove that they are poor in merit
We are not so sensible of the great
est health as of the least sickness.
Be sure your ground is good-then
be sure you maintain your ground.
To abound in all things, and not to
know the right use of them, is positive
penury.
The sin we are slowest to forgive is
often the one we are most apt to
commit.
The worst pit of misfortune into
which man can fall is the one he
digs himself.
The man who looks through preju-
dice is always ready to swear that
there is something green in sunlight
The hope of amending is, after all,
our very best and brightest hope; OF
amending our works as well as our
selves.
A loving act does more good than
derry exhortation. What mankind
needs is not more good takers, but
more good Samaritans.
The praise of the envious is far less
creditable than their censure, for they
praise only that which they can sur
pass, and censure that which sur
passes them
There is this difference between
happiness and wisdom-he that thinks
himself the happiest man is really So
but he that thinks himself the wisest
is generally the biggest fool.
Industry, economy and prudence
are the sure fcrerunners of sue cess.
They create that admirable combina-
ton of powers in one which always
sonduces to eventual prosperity,
The name applied to the bicycle in
Turkestan is ''tomasha." Allen and
Sachtleben relate that in their bicy-
Gle tour of the world they were fol-
lowed fifty miles on horseback by
a Cossack, who would shout across the
fields to the natives TO ''come and see
the tomasha." Frequently he would
have to entreat the travellers TO ''slow
up" as his horse was tired. The
swiftest steed Of the Cossack riders
could not travel with the ease and
speed of the adventurers on their ma
chimes.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
rumbIing over Each other.

That is what people are doing to
get into that new country just opened
up by the completion of the Kansas
City, Pittsburg & Gulf r. r. This new
line extends through the richest agri-
cultural, stock and fruit sections of
Missouri, Kansas and Arkansas. Over
the gentle slope of the romantic Ozark
range, the famous fruit section and
vinyard of the world. Lands pro-
nounced by experts to be far superior
to the noted valley of the Rhine in
Germany, or California for grape cul-
ture. $4,000 worth of grapes sold
from one acre. Famous land of the
"Big Red Apple" Crop failure of any
kind unknown. The timbered ranges
preclude, the possibility of drouths-
Copy of the Missouri AND ARKANSAS
FARMER AND FRUITMAN giving detailed
description of resources of the new
country mailed free upon application.
Prospectors round trip excursion tick
cts giving privilege of stopping over
at different points, issued from Kansas
City at any time at rate of one fare for
round trip. For further particulars
call upon or address, JAMES DoNoHUE,
General Passenger Agent, Baird Build
ing, Kansas City, Mo.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
A Sad Oversight.

Detective Ito Banker)-You say your
bank has been entered during the
night?
Banker-Yes; the burglars got into
the bank but they failed to open the
safe where there was half million
dollars in bonds and securities
$50 the burglars didn't get any Of
the bonds or money!"
mot cent"
What pity. If they had gone off
with the contents of the safe we could
have had clew."
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
KeepIng an Eye on BANK EmpIoyes.

Keeping an Eye on Bank Employees.
On the occasion of visit to Paris
last winter I renewed acquaintance
ship with very old friend who is
employed in a bank in that city.
During the evening we took in sew
eral innocent and harmless recrea-
tions, and I suggested to him that
we might see something a little
more out of the common. To my
surprise he said that if I wanted to
see Paris on the shady side he would
find me reliable guide. but he GER
tainly could not go himself, because
If he did he would be like a states
man out of Office at o'clock the fol-
lowing morning Pressed for an ex-
planation, he told me that every Of
fetal in his bank. and he believed in
every other bank, was practically
under police surveillance day and
night. and that pictures of each of
them were in the hands of skillful
detectives. Instead of waiting until
bank official got behind in his ac
counts IN consequence of excessive
gambling or high living, the direct
ors preferred to close the stable
door before the horse had got out =
St Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
DECORATION DAY.

Sleep, comrades. sleep and rest
On this Held Of the grounded arms
Where foes no more modest
Nor sentry shot alarmsi
Re have slept on the ground before,
And started 10 your feet
At the cannon's sudden roar
Or the drums redoubling beat
But In this camp OF Death
TO sound your slumber breaks;
Here IS no feYered breath.
No wound that bleeds and aches
All Is repose and peace,
Untrampled lies the sod:
The shouts of battle cease
It is the truce of Godl
Rest, comrades. rest and sleep;
The thoughts of men shall be
As sentinels to keep
Your rest from dangers free
Your silent tents of green
We deck with fragrant flowers:
Yours has the suffering been,
The memory shall be ours
Henry Wadsworth LongfeiloV
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

His best bank is a fine meadow, a big po-
tato patch, forty in Worlds Fair winter
wheat, and twenty acres in monster rye.
The best meadow is made by sowing Sal
zer's extra grass mixtures THIS FALL. 1t
yields from 8 to tons magnificent hay per
acre. The Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse,
who are the largest farm and vegetable
seed growers in the world, will send you
package of new wheat and rye, and cata-
logue upon receipt of cents postage W
Uncle Sam consumes half the worlds
oufnine
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Baked Lobster.

Meat of two Holsters. half can OF
tomatoes, or pint of fresh tomatoes
stewed. cup of crumbs, salt cayenne
pepper and onion to season, butter
the size of an egg. Rub baking dish
with an onion, melt little of the
butter in the bottom, then add the
other ingredients in layers Finish
with layer of crumbs dotted with
butter Bake brown and serve hot.
If any is left over put in smaller
dish ard brown again.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Calls for your admiration, recommends.
ton and patronage. 1t is the nearest,
most attractive summer, pleasure and
health resort to Lincoln, and possesses
the merit of being among the very best
in the country. It is located on the
Elkhorn railroad, the chair and sleep
ing car route. Low excursion rates
are in effect, For descriptive pam
phlet and tickets call on or address,
J. R. Buchanan, Genn Pass. Agt., Om-
aha, or A. S. Fielding, City Tiki. Agt
Lincoln Nab
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
ITO BE CONTINUED. I
AMERICANS ARRoAp.
Foreigners ENJOY Taking Advantage of
Their Ignorance.

Foreigners ENJOY Taking Advantage of
Their Ignorance.
In quiet way the Italians get a
great deal of amusement out of the
English and American tourists, says
the Chicago Record. On a steamer
on Lake Como the captain was in
terrogated by an English woman as
to the name of certain mountain
peak to which she pointed The
captain did not know. but he did not
intend to confess his ignorance. He
glanced at the mountain in question,
then at the woman. Her main charac-
teristic was embonpoint And the
captain, suddenly inspired, gravely
replied: Monte Stomacho. - The
woman, in all seriousness, described
In her little notebook the mountain
and gave to it the name the captain
had used. An American lady was
visiting the Pitt gallery at Flor
ence, when she came to a picture of
Pope Leo the Tenth, in which the
pope is represented in sitting posi-
tion. The lady studied her Baedeker
industriOusly, then looked at the
picture, then again sought informa
ton from Baedeker. She was puz-
zled, and, finally turning to a gen
tleman near, who happened to be a
professor from the college at Padua,
said: could you tell me, sir, what
madonna is thisP" LA madonna
della seggiola" (''The madonna of
the chair''), said the professor
graVely.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

10 the fact that want Of tone IN the system
IS the herald OF approaching disease, hosts OF
inyalds have adopted that certain means of
self rescue from impending danger, Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters. This benignant tonic
promotes, in no ordinary degree, digestion and
assimilation, through which the blood is fertil-
lied and made strength-y yielding. Besidne this,
inactivity Of the liver, bowels and ktoI,.
which impede gain of vigor, is overcome.
Appetite, as well as the ability to crafty it
without discomfort, is stimulated by this
thorough medicinal cordial, which also has
a tranquiizing effect upon nerves weak and
on;y half invigorates the dvspeptfc. Tv the
use OF the BftterS its nourisbing properties
made available. For malaria, rheumatism
Sad the infirmatives of age, use the Bitters.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
merIcan colonial Laws.

It is said that the Historical 50
ciety of Pennsylvania has the. most
complete collection of American CO.
loIial laws in the United States It
was made by CharIemagne Towers
and includes the laws of the Danish
and British West Indies
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

WiIbur-Do they always keep that
big bell on the covP
Papa-Yes, Wilbur.
wilbur suppose it is to keep her
from falling asleep in this quiet place.
-Harpers Young People
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Kesplna 60 d 30

Jack Cutter-YOur oflce IS right
near mine. Your hours are from to
4, are they not2
Tom Bigbee-Yes; how did you
know?
Jack Cutting-Oh. see you going
to work about 40 and coming home
aboat every dag-Pgek
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Wld-Eyed Strangar-I want some
dynamite bombs zs.,
Dealer. suspicioH pH don't
look like quarrYman
..Pm not: but I've got some friends
who haven't stopped talking about
the Chicago fair yet. What's the
prices
Il won't charge you anything Tor
these. sir. .
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Wbv he vent to schooI.

The. small boy appeared at the
country school, and the teacher, as
preliminary, had a talk with him.
well, my little man, he said, pleas
antly, do you know why you come
to school?'' Eyes, sir" Tell me
why. .'Cause. mother said ] was
in her way ali the time at homo. and
he didn't want the bother of me"
and the teacher subsidized Detroit
Free Press.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
ClearIne Do.

Ragman-Any old bottles to sel12
Janitor-Ring the third bell and
tell Mr.. Gay I sent you. heard
his wife was coming home from the
country tomorrow.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
A ComparisOn.

think the barber's gaudy pole would be
For the confectioner sign most handy
Because it always seems to little me
A great big stick of candy.
-Harper's Young People
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Harvest Excursions.

st. Paul, Mimi, Aug. goth, Harvest
Excursions at largely reduced rates for
the round trip to Minnesota, Dakota
and Montana points are announced by
the Great Northern Railway, for Sept.
18th and 25th, and Oct. 9th.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Mrs. Bayard, wife of our ambassador to
England, is greatly envied because she has
been more than once invited by the Queen
to remain over night at Widsor Castle.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

'oThe man in the next room kept me
awake all might snoring" Landlady-WeI,
it won't happen again. I've put woman
with q parrot, a piano and baby on the
other side.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
only One Likeness.

A remarkable example of a famous
woman who has refused to sit for q photo
graph is Florence Nightingale. The only
picture of her in existence is photograph
taken of a bust in st. Thomas Hospital,
made when she returned from the Crimea.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Supernuous Hair.

Warts, moles, ETC., permanently removed by
electricity; work guaranteed; Endorsed by ply
sicians Della E. Smith, 412 Brace building
Lincoln, Neb
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Karl's Glover Root Tea,
The great Blood purifier, gives freshness and elearne
the Complexion and cures Constipation. 25cSOcSl
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

To all parts of the West and Northwest via
the Chicago, Milwaukee & st. Paul Rail
tickets, good for return 'G passage within
twenty days from date of sale, will be sold
on September 1 and 25 and October 9, 1894.
For further information apply to the
nearest coupon ticket agent or address g.
II Heafford General Passenger and Ticket
Agent, Chicago, Ill.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

If the Baby is Cutting Teeth.
Be sure and use that old and weltried remedy, Mrs
wHsLow's SOOTHING SYRUP for Children Teething-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Threa Home seekers, Excursions.

CHER appearance is as fresh as a school
girls" ''Yes-but it's all put on"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Hell owe everything to my wife. She
Everything? He-Well, everything excep
what I owe my creditors.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
Hot SprInrs. s. 10.

She-Our Chinese laundryman speaks
German. He-He must be q Dresden
Chinaman, then, suppose.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Therevenue bureau has decided that play
ing cards used as advertising are not ex-
empt from the tax
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Mrs. Reform-Do you believe in matri-
mony9 Mrs. Lakeside (Chicago)-Once in
a while.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Graymare-In my house, sir, to speak is
to be obeyed. Bronson-Yes, so Mrs. Gray
mare told me the other day.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

"HansOn's Magic Corn saIvs."
Warranted to cure money refunded Ask you.
druggist for 1t. Price 10 cents
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Tobacco is a filthy weed; touch it not p
said Robert Reed; ''but cigarettes are my
delight; smoke them morning, noon and
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

Goes Cough BnIsana
Is the Oldest and best. 1t win break up Cold quick
than anything else. 1t is always reliable. Try it
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
The Farmer,a Bank.

He-Do you believe in signs? She-Well,
I should think did, in ice-cream soda ones
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
HCHDEMY OF Tne SFsGRED HEART

The coar8s 81 lnstTuetI0n % this Acadeny, condlIi
bv the Religious OF the Sacred Heart, embraces the
whole range subjects 70 constitute soid
Sosl neafess and the principles OF morality are OBJ
fects OF unceasing attention Extensiys grounds AZ
ford the pupils every facility for usefal bodily exsf
esse their health is an object OF constant solictude
md Ia sickness they are attended with maternal care
FaII term opens Tuesday, Sept 4th. kor lurLaer iz
fi.,fsTss aidress TIKI SUPERIOR
Academy Sacred Heat, 81 Joseph NO
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
IW0 WELL- WAIEREl eg99SSSSA E
EDUCATIONAL.
UNIVERSITY OF HOTTIE DANE,
THE FIETx-EsssT YEAR WILL OPEN

Fnl1 courses in Classics, Letters. Science, Law
Civil and Mechanical engineering 1noroIzh
PreparatOry and Commercial CourEeE- St. Edsard's
Hall for boys under is unique IN the Of
equipment Catalogues sent free application %
ny. ANplKw AoRKEssEx. Q. s. G, Hotra Dame Ind
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07
FIRST NATIONAL BANK, I59sis.i. ,'.'.

r. 8. HAYWOOD. Pres, C.A.HAENA, ie,sr..r7..<
Yice-Pres., T. n. COOK, Cashier. l1,os aso
Drafts on all points Of the world. Letters %
credit TO travellers. Interest on Time Deposits.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-09-07

General Passenger Agent,
st. Louis, Mo.