davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
SOME SHORT LAUGHS
LIES BRIGHT SIDE AS SEEN BY
THE HUMORIST.

A Little Merriment Is q Good Lubri-
cant to Make the wheels of Life
Run Easily and SmOOthly-Glean-
inEs From Exchanges.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
Dr.. HOwler-HOw much is it

DR.. HoWler-How much is it
Dr.. Scowler-One dollar.
Dr.. Howler-You know I'm q drug
gist myself in Indianapolis, and -
DR.. Scowler-Oh, price to you is 3
cents. ~
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12

Animals Who Indulge In Stimulants.
It has lately been pointed out that
man, after all, is not the only animal
who INDUCES in stimulants. Certain
animals also indulge themselves in this
manner with fatal results, the vehicle
OF intoxication in the case Of the lower
order Of beings being a creeping vetch
called the loco plant" This is an in
habitant Of the Texan Panhandle,
and is a source OF serious danger to
horses and cattle. To them it has all
the allurements which are possessed by
absinthe and gin for being Of another
grade, only the result Of the yetch are
more definitely fatal, even when taken
in moderate measures. Animals who
have tasted Of it are liable to fall over
backwards. their brains being affected
as well as their spinal cords. They
leap heights in their frenzy and dash I
down precipices. No rider OF q horse
who has been thus intoxicated is in
safe position. The Hospital.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
Bargain.

Bargain.
His face was pinched and drawn.
With faltering footsteps he wendell
his way among the bustling throng.
Anon he paused.
kind SIR" he suddenly exclaimed,
will you not give me loaf of bread
for my wife and little ones?'
The stranger regarded him not I'M
kindly.
Far be it from me-" he rejoined, ito
take advantage of your restitution.
Keep your wife and little ones, my
man. I do not want them"
Turning upon his heel he walked
away.
Why He Laughed.
You seem to be in a hilarious humor,
Blinks," said Brown at the breakfast
table.
ooh, I've been reading one Of Robin
sons stories.'' 4,
His variations are not usually drou
enough to provoke merriment.''
No; but this one was enough to
make a dog laugh
''Ah, then that accounts for it, said
Brown.
And Blinks could not for the life of
himself see what so amused Brown
and the waiter
Evil Report.
The mother bowed her head and her
frame shook with sobs.
Tell me- she faltered, tell me,
kind sir, if my poor lost boy was good
to the last"
A shade fitted across the b,onzed.
face Of the seaman.
IT do not know for sure he an
swered, as considerably as possible,
''but I heard Indirectly of the natives
saying they had eaten better
All was still but for the sound Of
weeping.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
AN ANGEL UNAWARES.
On this Occasion, at Least, the In
surance Agent Was Welcomed.

On this Occasion, at Least, the In
surance Agent Was Welcomed.
An insurance agent, albeit useful
and at times attractive person, is not
always a welcome visitor. To some
people, indeed, he is decided bore.
One Of this class owns handsome res
idence, and even the thought of an
agent provokes his ire. One evening
recently he was enjoying his otium- cum
dig, when man walked in on him very
unceremoniously. The visitor was a
total stranger to him, and before he
had time to throw an ink-stand at him
or to ask him to sit down he began
quite calmly and in most business like
tone to talk.
'.Have you any insurance on this
house?" said he.
Well, Mr.. Otium- cum-dig was afire
in a minute.
What do you mean, STRIP he
st0rmed, "by breaking into my house,
sir, in this anner-brealing into my
house with your internal insurance
business? 1t is no concern Of yOurs'
sir, whether this house IS insured or
not. Get out, or I'll throw you OUT
The visitor was as calm as May
morning. 5 f$
tits no concern Of mine whatever
he replied, "but I thought - q
"You have no right to think about
what don't concern you, SIR inter-
rupted the house owner. II want no
insurance agents forcing themselves
upon me- sir"
II understand that perfectly, and I
am DO insurance agent I was merely
passing your house, and I observed
that it was on fire in the rear, and it I
occurred to me that if you had no in
surance on it, perhaps you did not
wish it to burn down. 81 I:
That's what the visitor said, but Mr..
Otium-cum-dig. didn't hear it all; he
had gone to the fire, and the visitor
smiled and followed him. Detroit Free
Press. Ell :
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12

''The Ascent of Man, by Prof. Henry
Drummond.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
IA LIE OF ROY All. FOLK
GOSSIP ABOUT THE OLD-WORLD
s COURTS.

Numerous Reforms Effected by the
Present Emperor Of JapSn, Notably
an Increase In the Oriental EN-
tiOns. 5t3#.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
Only Natural.

The snake charmer was putting the
finishing touches to her toilet >r
Il have such feeling of goneness,' -
she sighed. .-...'g'.' =
The professional beauty hung her
curling iron over the gas jet. &....i
Il am not surprised" she answered,
"after you did the vanishing lady act
so many years" -. -. - .
The hyena on the animal floor laugh
ed bOisterously.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12
A Foregone Conclusion.

Mildred-If me ladder gets the Office
Of assistant dump inspector am going
to be educated for an heiress and get
into sasiety, den meybe I'll marry one
.o'dem counts!s
Catherine OATS nuthin' I'm 60
ing to be a singer an make farewell
towers wit Patti
; Pau1ette--Git out! You'll be dead an
gone before Patti makes her final tow
er.-Ex.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-07-12

unmarried. and, though prince Of the
blood is generally regarded as an eli
gible parti by matchmaking mothers,
it is doubtful il this contemplate
apology for man could find parent
willing to accept royal title for her
daughter when accompanied by such
a son-in1aw. e. E, sii Isl 4,
Self-Wtl1ed md Ambitious.
I OF all the daughters OF Queen Vic.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1894-11-06
EXPULSION De LAS LOMBRICES
CON Ell VERMIFUGO GADEA


hsac
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sdaznao
III 81
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nussaa naaaaalg pys npEMz lanhnaa psn
X@xaa14URo @R6@0
- NssaaM sal8h
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1894-11-06
Llbros Galonarios

aa FaffFisnlas de raaaGo
Hk0IEG CARRLLAR
il ks.sz sst5SsAs - - sassE a. is g:s8grafSa
. Is1ftowpEEv aRRswass.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1894-11-06
Empresa
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tranHportes militares
seR RRAJFOS as HBERRRA
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La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1894-11-06

Eafos vApoEes harkn 81
Gals en- Ice pFir cipal as|
|pIert0s dc Ia l.sls, seq an
|Isa nseesidAdes del tra
SEQ.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
City Council Notes.

AT their meeting Tuesday night 8
committee was appointed to confer
with the county commissioners OF
Marion to see if they would not ac
cept city scrip in payment of the
county lot and old Jail building.
Both gas ordinances, the r. p. Man
ley and associates and the ]. S. Couch
and associates, were passed, granting
no exclusive privileges. Rates in both
are the same, g. 25 for the public and
and $3.50 for the city. Each party
must deposit 81 900 in cash, and if the
conditions of the ordinance are not
complied with the money will be for
feited, with privilege for laying pipe.
in the passage of the Manley ordi-
nance the Couch folks were about to
get left, when Mr.. III. l.. Anderson
came to their rescue, insisting the pro-
visions and conditions being the same,
ought to have an equal showing, and
that the Couch ordinance should not
be referred to the committee, as it was
moved by Alderman Birdsey, who
spoke for the Manley side.
President Mcconnell vacated the
chair and called Alderman Goss to pre-
side, while he made speech asking
that both ordinances be treated alike.
Alderman Anderson then offered a
resolution that the rates for the public
be So and for the city 81.
Several additional hydrants and
water mains to supply same were or
dered for North Magnolia street, Ock-
lawaha avenue to Judge Hocker's and
Earl street at Alderman McConnell's.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
TIE MY Terry SOLVED.
The Body Recognized as R. &. Teller
The 0oroner's Jury Render Their
Verd Of

The 0oroner's Jury Render Their
Verdict.
The Banner readers remember the
finding of mans body in Horse
pond several miles from Ocala on the
9th of April, and the mystery sur
rounding it.
The jury, by patient research, large
ly assisted by Captain Welsh, have
fully identified the body by articles
found on his person, glasses and false
teeth, etc, as that of Ralph r Teller,
of Keokuk, Iowa, and that his MUIR
der must have been committed in
January, 1893, for then it was he left
Welshton, where he had purchased
property and was living, and has never
since been seen alive.
The deceased was union soldier,
and had served in an Iowa regiment,
and was G. A. r. man.
Suspicion points to G.. A. Cook, of
Belleview, in whose possession was
found Teller's trunk and discharge pa
pers and pension certificate. It's also
known thst Cook knew, and said he
knew, of Teller's death, for it was af-
ter T.'s sudden disappearance Cook
sent to Welsh on for Teller's trunk.
A Goolsby, of Barlow, is also sus-
pecteed, as he had sold the Welshton
land to Teller, having only partly paid
for 1T when trouble arose about it, and
G. came up from Barlow to see about
it, and is said to have come to Ocala
with Teller, who never returned.
Cook is not now at Beleview, hav-
ing gone to Polk county in March, and
shipped to him two trunks, one in his
name and the other in Teller's.
1t will also be remembered that
Cook is of unsavory memory in Belle
view, having been supected of poison
ing Mrs. Marsden last winter, in
whose hotel he lived, and acted as if
he was the rightful owner.
The jury deserve credit for the pa
tient and painstaking steps they took
to unearth this most foul and wicked
murder.
Mr.. John f. Bailey prepared the re-
port, and it is a model of clean and
exact statement of the unfortunate
victims death and the horrible deed.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
THE OCALA BANNER
O. L. BITTINGER. City Editor.
Unprecedented Newspaper Combine.

Unprecedented Newspaper Combine.
THE OCALA BANNER and WEEK
VI WORLD one year, for only $l.65
The BANNER and World Almanac,
sl.2O. BANNER, Weekly World one
year and World Almanac, ali three foI
el.s5. Address, OCALA BANNER,
Ocala, Fla.
THE OcALA BANNER and the Allan
Ia Weekly Constitution, for ONE DOL
LAR AND FIFTY CENTS a year to CASH
subscribers. The Constitution is the
best weekly paper in the country, and
Is emphatically the peoples paper.
The Banner and Weekly Citizen,
Jacksonville, one year for only one
dollar and half cash, in advance.
Banner and Cincinnati Weekly In
quirer for, only one dollar and fifty
cents year.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
home labor and the law both accorded him

home labor and the law both accorded hims
Let the editor the orator, the politician, the so
cial and political reformer make answer accord
ing to his conscience.
This seems to us is going very much
beyond the bounds of ordinary, legit-
innate or gentlemanly criticism, and is
a force1 and feeble effort TO find fault
where none exists. but with clear
conscience we make answer that thes
imputations so far as they apply to us
personally are basely false, and so far
as they apply to Senator Call are a
libel on the whole people of Florida,
for these calumnies We're hurled
against him from Arcadia to Pensa-
cola, and yet he achieved very pro-
nOunced vindication at the hands of
the good people of the state by being
elected for the fourth time to the high
office he now holds.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Some Cabbage.

Mr.. P. l.. Durisoe, of Conner, sent
to the Banner Office on Saturday a
cabbage freak which we placed on
exhibition at Dukes Green grocery,
that excited much attention.
The plant had seven heads, the
smallest as large as saucer and the
largest good sized head. Conner is
something phenomenal on cabbage.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Reduced Ra.es.

Word has just come from Geo. III.
Wright, Orlando, manufacturer of the
famous Insecticide that he has secured
a reduction of freight on same from
4S to 154 cents per hundred pounds.
Read his ad in this issue and note how
it destroys the white fly, red spider,
removes smut and scale and makes
bright fruit.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
oo-Operators Attention !

We have the land, timber and eli
mate second to none in the world {
produce and manufacture our raw ma.
terial. Saw, planning, shingle and
grist mill now on the ground and do
ing good business. Will start CO.
operative town ssoon 100 co-operators
each with 5000, will come and sub
scribe to our bylaws. Write for fur
ther information enclosing stamp to
J. S. MANN, p. NJ,
5-11-2t York, Marion Co., Fla
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
To.The Public.

Your attention is called to the adds
of w. II. Chaille this week. Mr.
Chaille has again gone into the lunch
and restaurant business. 1t is un.
nesessary to speak of his ability to
serve his patrons, as he is well known
to the travelling public and through
out the county and all will be pleased
to learn he has again gone into busi-
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Fruit Growers. Attention !

A meeting of the Ocala Fruit and
Vegetable Growers Union, No. 10, will
be held at the court house Saturday,
May 10Th, at 3 p. M, for the purpose
Of ratifying the action OF the Orlando
convention and recognizing the Union
upon the lines there laid down. A
full attendance is necessary TO insure
concerted action of members.
G. NJ. BRowN, Pres.
ID. S. WILLIAMS, Sec'y.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Found Dead in Bed.

DR.. w. F. Humphries, of Fleming
ton, was found dead in his bed Mon
day morning from taking an overdose
of chloraform.
Deceased was Virginian by birth,
a widower 65 years of age, with one
son, who resides in Virginia. He had
only been resident of Flemington
for the past four months, coming there
from Leesburg, where he owned con-
siderable property, and where his re-
mains were taken for interment We'd
desday.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18

aud woman in Marion county goes
out in softest and tenderest touch and
expression of feeling that the terrible
blow and grievous wrong that has
fallen on them, and the bitter grief
that has entered their hearts like
stillettos of steel through this AWFUL
deed, may be healed by the gentle
touch of time.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18

The successful grower of tomatoes
exercises great care in packing and
ships in Warnell carriers.
Tomato growers in southern sections
of the state have realized good prices
this year. They shipped in the War
nell carrier.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
ABSOLUTELY PURE
PERSONAL.

| Mr.. E. 7. Bugbee left for Richmond,
Ind, Saturday.
Miss Daisy Green is visiting her sis
ter, Mrs. Axtell, at Jacksonville.
| Mr.. Mckinney, merchant at STAN
ton, has quite severe spell of sick
ness.
Mrs. John r. Martin left Tuesday
for fol. White Springs, where she will
Ispend few weeks.
Miss Lesser, Mrs. M. Rheinauer's
sister, departed this week for her
home in Syracuse, N. Y.
Mr.. and Mrs. B. B. F. Whitman, of
Eastlake, left this week for their sum-
mer home at Spencer, Mass.
Miss Jeffie Bell made Mrs. M. l..
Payne visit during the week, and
took in the big Pennington picnic.
Mr.. 7. A. Morris, KeDdricF, wa s
married Sunday by Alderman Harry
Goss to Miss Hamilton, of Anthony.
Mrs. John Graham, of Palatka, who
has been visiting friends at Graham
vile and Fellowship, returned home
Saturday.
Mr.. Geo. Miles, ex-editor of the Cit
rus county Star, but now of Brooks
vile, in the drug business, was in the
city Saturday.
Col. Sebring, of Bronson, known to
many people in Florida, was in circu-
tating among his many Ocala friends
Monday and Tuesday.
e. s. Jones, the Sand Dodger Shoe
man, has gone to Spencer, Mass, on a
business trip. During his absence w.
A. Richards is in charge of the store.
Mr.. Shaw, wife and daughter, of
Philadelphia, are in the city and stop
ping at Mrs. Brumby's. Mr.. Shaw is
a capitalist and interested in Florida
phosphate.
Major Boylston, of the E. T. v. q G.
r. r., came near suffocating to death
at Micanopy last Friday night while
trying to drive out the mosquitoes
with sulphur smoke.
Mrs. Young J. Allen will go to Ma
con, Ga, Monday to be present at the
commencement exercises of the Wes-
leyan Female college, which her
daughters are attending.
Mr.. H. G. Groves and wife, who re-
turned to Ocala last Friday, again de-
parted for Trenton, Tenn, to pass tile
summer. Mr.. G.. is somewhat inn
proved from his paraletic stroke.
The Banner acknowledge an invi-
tation to be present at the third session
of the Suwannee River chautauqua,
which opens on the 10Th, and contin-
ues five days. The program is a fine
one.
Mr.. Percy Bass, of Mcintosh, met
with very painful accident last
Thursday while returning home from
the Micanopy Knights of Honor pic
ME, by having the mule which he
was driving kick up and hit him with
his hoof on the forehead and nose,
splitting the latter.
Mr.. and Mrs. Alex Wynne, of
Beaumont; Texas, were so pleased
with the pleasant surroundings of
Eastlake and Silver Lake, that they
purchased the M. Kelly grove, border
ing on the latter lake and are delight
ed with the country. They will come
and occupy the place in December.
Mr.. F. G. Buffnm and family left
Stanton Monday for Westerly, r. l.,
where they will pass the summer.
The fact that Mr. Buffum, who is the
efficient president and untiring worker
of the Florida Fruit and Vegetable
Growers Association, will not permit
his absence to lose sight of this new
and promising association for the pro-
motion of the productive interests of
Florida.
Mr.. Jacob b. Gaunt, Medford, Bur-
4 -
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
P0PULISr IN THE SADDLE.
The First Gun of the Season.

| The popuiist, or third party people
of Marion county. are taking time by
the forelock, and fired the first gun OF
the campaign at Orange Lake Satur-
day, where Prof. Walker, Of Auburn
dale, Polk county, made the opening
address, and the oratorical effort OF
the day.
Hon. VIM. Hickson, the sage of Or
ange Lake, and of the peoples party
in Marion county, presided.
AS the Banner has on previous occa-
sions given the gist of Prof. Walkers
address, we will pass on and say that
several hundred men, women and
children were in attendance, many OF
| whom were democrats.
The speech was a good one, the din
ner a. sumptuous spread, showing
| what the rich land around and con-
tiguous to the lake could produce, was
better, while the young folks voted the
dance of the evening the finest thing
connected with the opening of the
campaign.
Captain Lytle, Mike Rou, Chair
man Light and other 1000 candle
power p. p. illnminators. were on hand
and beamed a cheerful smile on all.
The Banners representative tenders
his thanks to Captain and Mrs. Du.
Pree and Miss Jessie Owens ther ex-
cellent sister, for goodly supply of
creature comforts which filled the
aching void to perfection.
This representative met man, who
for twenty-five years claimed he was
a friend and admirer of Frank Harris,
editor and proprietor of the Banner.
"Of course you take the Banner" we
said. "Well, no! have been thinking
of taking it all these years. But
"That will do, remarked this reporter.
You can never class yourself a friend
of the Banner unless you Subscribe
and pay for it, and to place you in the
proper probationary state we enter
your name on the roll of honor.
With self-confessed blush he said !.
tSend along the Banner, and let her
wave," but then, this is how the
Banne. is the paper of the people OF
Marion, their local journalistic bible,
and is known, read and loved by hun
dreds of hundreds in old Marion,
where the name of our local contem-
poraries are never heard of.
We plead for the Banner and we
| never plead in vain.
Tuesday the populists of Fellowship
held a rattling big meeting, and had
| plenty of good things to eat.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Piles Gan Be Oured

The greatest pile remedy ever discov-
cred is Beggs' German Salye. 1t re-
lieves at once, and effects perma-
nent cure in an incredible short space
of time. Also excellent for Cuts.
Scalds, burns and Bruises. Every box
warranted by Jas. b. Carlisle, Ocala
Fla
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
For Sale or Trade.

One saw mill engine and boiler COM
plete, also planer and grist mill all
ready for running. Will sell at sac
rifice or will trade for merchandise or
zeal estate. For particulars apply or
address this Office. 18may1m
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
A new Undertaker,s Firm

The firm of J. A. Pittman & Co. of
fer their services to the public in the
undertaking business.
They are supplied with everything
in the line; prices reasonable. Office
old council chamber.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18

Mr.. Jacob B. Gaunt, Medford, Bur-
lington Co., N. j., thus gives his ex-
perience: From experience / can
say that Salvation Oil is good rem
edy for rheumatism. 1 had been al
most cripple for eight or nine
months with this malady, but Sal
vation Oil vanqvished it. / can now
do as much work as the next person. y
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Hosting Engine for Sale.

One new l2x14 double cylinder
hoisting engine. This engine has
never been in use and win be sold at a
great bargain. For particulars write
to Receivers Woodstock Iron Conn
pany, Admission, Ala. 4-23-lm
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
ocala House Barber shOp-Ths Big
Pour.

Get shaved and have your hair cut
at the leading shop I'm Ocala. Special
attention given to children and ladies'
hair cutting and bang trimming.
Work done satisfactory by exception
ally good wOrkmen .in shop or at resi-
dence. Police Glzette endorsement
March 1lth. 1898. e. V. MCCOY, Prop.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1894-05-18
Yellow, Dried Up and Ernkled.

Is this the way your face looks? II
SO; try Beggs' Blood Purifier and
Blood Maker. 1t not only purifits
the blood, but renews it, and gives
your face bright youthful appear
ance. Sold and warranted by Jas. b.
Carlisle, OcaIa Fla.