The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1894-05-24
Getting Even With the
Railroad.

.
eled nearly the length II the train and
+ half way back again when discovered
vacant seat that had propably over
looked before. The person who shared
the seat with me was 4 rather rough
hough respectable. appearing man OF
+ - Years of age, who seemed to be get
ting Il good deal of enjoyment out OF a
hunorou, paper that h. vas reading
"Ha ha, That's good one, | heard
him say to himself as took my seat.
"Excure me, mister. but | have to
laugh when | get hold Of one OF these
funny books. That what bought IL
for and I'm going to have my moneys
I WORTH generally do. Now there are
some people who will 20 clear through
one of these book, from cover
to cover and look as glum As Metho-
dist minister after Il pound party.
There are other people that want TO
laugh but don't dare u. and that's Ian
gerons. | say when a man feels Il laugh
coming on Letter go il lie breaks up the
meeting.
About two years ago buried cous-
in, aud I'm dead sure that half a smoker
would have saved his life, but he tried to
stiHe it and burst blood vessel, and
that was the end of him.
what were the circumstances:
We'll, YOU see he WAS very pious
man and was never known to smile in
church. One Saturday night the Sab
bath school had a popcorn festival, and
somehow the cornpopper got placed
with the contribution boxes, and the
next dav old Deacon 1arboX. who was
little near-sighted. started to take up the
collection with the cornpopper, And got
Ill Il l. hat td
out what the people We're laughing at.
My cousin told me afterward that he
would have given 81 if he could have
laughed with clear conscience; but he
was true to his principles and martyr
to the cause
Nov, as | said before. generally
get my moneys worth You see those
four children" pointing to the two
seats just ahead of Us, well. they're
mine-three frees, and half Guess
I'm getting my moneys worth this trip,
Ell? Ben Franklin, the little fellow with
the white head, is the youngest. He's
two. Martha Washington comes next;
she's three Then Phil Sheridan, four
and a half, and Bradford Sumner is
pretty near six. Its a mistake taking
Bradford Sumner We don't usually
take the halves till they get pretty near
up to the limit. say ten or eleven, but
the baby was sick this time, and al
ways feel more comfortable when the
whole four seats are taken, even il it
does cost me little something.
Any more children
40 yes, Edward Everett and Henry
Clay are sort of between hay and grass
AS you might say, and are laid off the
road for a spell Then there's Rufus
Choate. hes about up to the limit, and
Daniel Webster's gone way by and
hasn't ridden much for the last three
years.
"Some folks think I've got "A grudgc
against the railroads, but | haven't. |
did feel kind Of sore against them at one
time, but its wearing oil year by year.
You see it happened this way: Fifteen
years ago next month Was going from
Turner to Blownvile aud my little
horsehide-covered trunk that used to be
my mothers was aboard the baggage
car. Well, when | passed in my check
to the baggage master Al Brownville,
about all he had to show for my trunk
was the hon sehde. with mighty little
add to Getting even with the Railroad
hair on that.
II got mad and went for the baggage
master and he said he wasn't to blame
and I'd better see the baggage master at
Turner. and the baggage-master at
/ Turner swore that he put the trunk
aboard the train in good condition and
that it was the baggage-master on the
train that did the business.
Then interviewed the baggage
ter on the train, and he didn't remember
ANYTHING about the trunk till described
it to him, aud then he admitted that it
was on his ear. and said that there was
an Uncle Toms abin Company on the
train that same day. and that Marks the
LAWYER. and the donkey were in the
baggage. car. lie said that Marks the
Lawyer stood up on my trunk to tell a
story, and that the donkey kicked at
him, missed, and hit my trunk. Then
Marks got behind the trunk, and the
donkey kicked some more, and when
they finally dragged him away he was
all mixed up with the horse hide, and my
paper collars.
aWel, | spent about month hunting
for Marks the Lawyer aud the don
key asd then ! went to the Superin-
tendent of the railroad, and he said it
was too late to put in claim for dam
ages, as it must be put in within 80
DAYS from the date of the accident.
81 didn't waste any words on him, but
| went home and tor three weeks laid
awake nights studying up schemes to
get even with the railroad company.
| ri bet had more than 20 schemes in
nv head AT one time, and at last hit on
the one that have worked with good
deal of satisfaction for the last 10 years.
Nov this is the way work it,
live in Turner and work in Brownville.
| go back and forth on the train, and
every morning | take two or three of
the frees with me and perhaps half
to look after them, and they spend the
day with their grandmother and rctm
with me at night. Makes it nice for my
wife, too, you sec-takes good deal OF
care OIL her shoulders.
"Sometimes | get out Of work IN
Brownville, and get Il job in Turner,
then we move into my wife's mother
house in Brownvile, and She goes to
our house in Turner, This makes il
nice, too, gives Us all a change of scene
and is just rs good rs going to the sea