Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-07-01
"HE KNOWS IT ALL"
The elders" Barber Is a Man Of
Universal knowledge.
CAN SEE THE BACK OF HIS NECK.
Who smoke-ifraid He Would
Get sallyatcd.

Get sallyatcd.
II is always embarrassing for me TO
60 to my barber-shop. for when | match
my Intellect against that Of the artist
who cuts my hair feel that am indeed
ignorant There is nothing that man don't
know. The other day he began discuss
Ing English literature with me, and
when he switched off into an argu-
ment on Charles Dickens l tucked my
head under the sheet in which l was en-
sconced and completely disappeared. My
tonsorial artist has special fondness
for telling me about prize-hghts and slug
gers, just as II werent the most peace
able ami unpuglistic mortal alive. and
then. to add insult TO injury he asks me
In a mocking tone. TO give him my views
about the various scrapping matches.
This fellow who persecutes me is sly
rascal who understands human weak
nesses and human nature. and plays on
them for all the tips" he can get. FOR
tie past eight months | have been en-
gagged In turning out side-whiskers, ana
Yesterday when | went 20 the barDer
shop this chap saw at glance that l
WAS having a hard time with my lace
foliage. But he didn't let on about 1t. ne
dhiut. on tn contrary, after ne nad
trimmed my golden locks, he remarked:
"Now, let NE comb your side-whiskers;
they re getting too long This remark
pleased me ! was suspicious, but some
how couIdn'- help being pleased. There
WAS something so soothing in the mere
suggestion OF my "braZi!lerS' getting TOO
Long despite The fact that / knew they
we're scarcely yisiblel. that ! gave him
4 tip Yes, ] gave him counterfeit ~
cent piece. Then / had 70 give the boy
VINO shined my shoes 10 cents. ana next
there was more 20 be presented 10 the
urchin who handed me my hat. me lhu
who brushed my coat looked so sternly at
me when | started 10 ran the gauntlet
ths, I dared not leave him without DO
mating a nickel. Another gentleman who
brought me my cravat assumed 50 threat-
euing an attitude that l cheerfuily brbed
him. and then | departed, though l Sc
riously feared that the light-skinned par
Der who smiled sweety at me from across
the room would forever be my enemy De
cause | didn't pay him for the smile.
There IS ONLY one consolation about go
ing into my tarber-shop. They have there
q double-combnation mirror mat aHoruS
me a splendid opportunity or seeing the
back OF my u-ck. AID In this never
lose an opportunity TO gaze. Inc utst
time | looked On the back OF my neck 1
felt that / recognized an old friend-a
friend who had stuck to me through thick
and thin. yet always modestiy Kept IN
the background. II was very agreeable
TO thus gaze on the features which had
SO long been part and parcel Of me, and
vet hardly recognized them. In the
syyan-llke curves of that neck | detected
beauties and Vraces Of which had
hitherto been ignorant and which. IN my
vaiuest moods. ] had never accredited 10
myself And then, too. IL was 80 awtuily
indescribably nice for me 10 gaze INTO
that mirror and think that | wouldn't
have TO tip it for services rendered
The natatorium on Mayos Island or
rather the river near Mayos Island IS y
grand institution. where men VINO dont
know how to swim can get all the water
they can swallow for twenty cents. anu
where buffers learned in the aquatic
sports can for the same price find oppor-
t.riti.s fer washing which they would
| never seize on dry land. There are many
/ oeopla IN this town whom am ANXIOUS
- sec 1T the nata torium II VIII do them
.-goi and reduce their weights. And then,
too. il . 50 important To have know
! Ledge Of swimming. II man knows how
| - pa"uIe a.y"6 III -, 80,
YaIl'' IT. WI ~ va -, IL, trs
! 10 nun III '''S' ~ - -, .hc,-,,,,1
! -Aliahuc '0'''", 49,. =, II, -. tts
inle9 across "9o'''s -,li ''. l,,,,,y.I,sh-
ment. prolong his life five minutes longer
than tho falioW who couldn't swim. Five
minutes lsh 50 i'u0" VIZ ~ :, - -.
II one way put '",n NJ, il,,., ,,.,,o
| Other slahupplh'S' IL s""N, 80 49,
man can uflhA - 80. L. -,
| III i've t''hu''S >. lit t.,
| paylhS ior IT, ne H'-'' i,,,,,,,,,,.
AM So ! say N''o" '0'7-
/ Is ulosI "HP"' ''",
.,,.i,., O.,
inc way thry 'cdoh ''.l'c ~ y. .'' -,
| the bath-hcuse Is s.o' l"ry St
on the 'oVer-hedt uoH'y - "'
| n YOU get your U'n.y ON -
OF trolley-la and Iuckihs. hoI's AZ
stretched across the water hor'%'n'aiiN'
ana hanging from these are ii,'' ,
ropes 10 whch u" -, ''ii,,
s"iIIi'l' 10 S'.",.''' - 80, - rntler
iar rope - ,t|, ra,,cs dnJs
10 INC i'O' -,,. 'ay,' ,, ,ho, bo VIII 20
"h'H ~ ''.ts,tf.. ", cor,t sinh
mons Jus, o'',,ii ,.o,, uouldn't want
anu -" - ~ ~. -, .a,ir,, ,,,ber Won
TO- IL a"Iui,y .,.i,i., e,.st.r,, " and
| Try the oNe' -"e.4 go, nr three
alter YOU my -, III povd-
tiIheS you II I'M 60, pe,ra m
| ton Lori byIVh, anu NY'7 ,,t,r,,
! can't compare WIN ~ IL. -. ,...,,,.
| artist. lh"n you No'IO ,,.,,Lor,
irends no" hic'S Sou e''' NJ, ,.o,,
- 80 ,rood and that one man can
-, 80 h,,,i-.ts ~ water in one second.
VI '''''
,.....,.. .,.,.. l., tho voel< are set apart
| - 49, hatb-So,,se for ladies and families.
and tban for the rest Of the time, the
80 is used exclusively By men. IL Is
nn these masculine occasions that | make
my appearance. clad I'm my ballet costume,
and plunge into the ccrulean depths with
my brave little pipe brightly hickerlnS
above the merry. muddy washing wave
| lets that frisk down my ears ana reno
yate my brain. It's tuhhy th'ns 10 -
soT,. OF the men Waudi"s d"out =" ~
water with cigars In their mouths 'na. ,'N''.
| is 10 say, TO see man ""uulins ',,t, 'D'
| IN the water WIN clSd' IA ..'s -, 49,
| Possibly my tsaters nay M ,...,i,a ,bat
1 no