The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-06-02

Run - Rank Hsresy-- A Change,
Eto Etc.
THE REASON WHY.
He loves to rise at early dawn
| When others love TO lie.
This is the finest time for him,
Because he is fly. Il Judge.
DURING THE HOME RUN.
He heard not the coacher's yelling,
Nor needed the captains call,
For the centre field he was whistling
after the bal"
RANK HEREsY.
Jess-Reverend DR.. Thirdly does
| not officate at Society weddings any
more; the girls have turned him
down.
Bess-Since when?
Jess-Since his sermon on Put
not your trust in Princes. - Puck.
A CHANGE.
Mistress-Not going to marry that
sweep after all, Jane? Why,
thought it was all settled.
Jane-So il was, mum; but the
fact is, saw him with clean face
for the first time last night, and |
can't marry him. You've no idea
how ugly he is when he's washed,
NUM- Philadelphia Life.
HEAVY.
Pickly-What's that derrick in
front Of your house for?
Munson-Don't know? Ny wife
must be baking biscuit.
on THE WAY.
''Is my article in the soup?" in
quired the good natured litterateur.
Not yet, " replied the editor, but
I'm going to boil it down pretty
soon. II Washington Star.
A QUICK RECOVERY.
She-I am so surprised to see you
out after your sudden illness.
He-What do you mean?
She-Why, they told me after the
dinner the other night you had to be
carried home Truth.
WHEN WORDS FLOWED FREELY.
Ethel think Clara Perkins has
the largest vocabulary and the great
est eloqucnce Of any woman | know.
Isabel-Why, she never says u
word during club discussions.
Ethel-No; but you should hear
her talk to her canary Judge.
TOP OF TIE LIST.
"There goes man who leads in
letters"
"Ah, indeed! What's his manner"
"a. A. Adams. - Truth.
A POOR BARGAIN.
Jess-I'll give you a penny for your
thoughts.
Chappie--I was thinking of myself.
Jess--Well, that's the usual way
with bargains.
IT WOULD BE A GIVE AWAY.
Dags--I see they have at last de-
ciphcred the Hittite hieroglyphics,
supposed to be 4, 900 years old.
Wags-Really? | hope there are
none of my jokes among them.
UNPROFEsSIoNAL OPINION.
IN the studio of professional
painter before his latest picture.
"Well, what DO you think of it?'
'In the first place, | ought to
tell you, sir, that am no judge"
Never mind, let us have your
opinion"
ITO tell the truth, II think it
splendidW
"Thcre, you see what capital
Judge you are - La Figaro.
AT OLD POINT COMFORT.
Penelope Peachblow-Great Heav-
ems, Cholly Chapleigh looks as though
he were wearing secondhand clothes.
Dickey Doolittle with awe)-He is.
They were the Duke Of Worcester
shire's once, and he is SO stuck up
about them that he won't speak to us
fellahs any more.
HIS WEAK SPOT GONE.
"Chappie and wilkins had dis
pute at the club the other night, and
Chappie got so excited he lost his
head"
Dear me, how fortunate! Chap
pies head was his only weak spot. "
i Harper 5 Bazar.
A BIBLIoPHILE.
Hes very intellectual and litera-
ry, isn't he?"
"Why do you think so?"
He told me he never felt himself
till he was snugly ensconced in his
library"
"Well, you see, his folding bed is
bookcase. = Judge.
TWO POINTS OF VIEW.
Flushly-It is easy to acquire a
taste for terrapin.
Dcdbroke--les; easier than to ac-
quire the terrapin.-lTruth.