The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-12-05
Amdersa.s gntelligei1eet.
The Noble Art OF Lying.

Everybody should know how to lie
WE'LL" said a woman. Gone cannot
live in the world with any degree of
peace and comfort without lying a
good deal, and one ought to be able to
do it we'll. Every one knows that a
good liar must have good memory.
Other things, too, are necessary. A
small vocabulary for one; the fewer
words the better. When you are
lying, stick to facts, if I may put it
that way, and leave out detail. Never
volunteer lie. An unnecessary lie
is as dangerous as the truth: Don't
tell improbable lies. To tell an i'm
probable lie is merely plucky; it isn't
art. Always be whole-souled about
your lies. Don't be niggardly and
spoil good lie by patching it up with
half truth. An artistic liar will en-
ploy the truth as sort of background,
but he won't mix it in a weak-minded
way calculated to destroy all real
effect"
In Cambridge, Ind, lived well.
known old gentleman by the name Of
Josiah Nixon, who in early boyhood
had acquired the habit Of gross exag-
geration. The habit had grown upon
him so that he believed everything he
said was the truth, no matter how
great the exaggeration. After he had
reached the ripe age Of three.score
and ten some of the deaoons in the
church thought it was too much like
lying to pass unnoticed, and it was de-
cided after great deal of considera-
ton, that the old gentleman be chur :
ed.
One evening while seated in front Of
his door, telling small circle Of
neighbors about the way the pioneers
had to live, the gate opened and the
delegation Of deacons filed in.
eyes," the old gentleman was say
ing, "we had hard times then. I
lived two years on grass, and hickory
bark on Sundays. We use to call
Sundays bark days. on that account,
and that's the only way we could tell
when Sundays came. Bears [ seen
1000 great big varmints once around
our camp, and I killed"
"Uncle Josiah" broke in one Of the
deacons, ''we have come to see you
about this habit of yours. You have
the unpleasant habit of forgetting the
truth when talking, and we have come
to demonstrate with you.
II know it, deacon, replied the old
man, as he looked around. Il know
it, and I want to tell you that j have
grieved over that failin' of mine 500,-
900 times day for the past 200
years"
The Memphis Commercial has been
moved to pay editorial tribute to liars.
We do not know whether it is moved
by that fellow feeling which makes US
wondrous kind, or whether he is actu-
ated by pure magnanimity. Our con-
temporary writes as one having full
knowledge of the subject; but whether
it writes from the standpoint of an
expert, or has been moved by admira-
tion for the talent Of some liar by
whom it has been victimized, We can
only conjecture, and we leave our
readers to do the same. The Com
mercial says:
Who set the great enterprises afoat?
Who is the originator of vast invest
ments and the instigator of magni6-
cent projects ?
The liar.
Who is it that floats the bonds, dis
counts the paper and manuoevers the
initial steps of corporations and con-
solidations
Who is it that has settled the wild
lands of the West and made Uncle
Sam no longer freeholder !?
The liar.
Who is it that originates ''booms"
and distributes capital from the un-
wary to the wise 2
Who is it that makes wildcat mines
successful and sets prize upon hu-
man ingenuity ?
Who is it that gives the impetus to
politics and the trend to political
economy
The liar.
The truth is, the liar has as many
guises as Proteus. Anon he wishes
to make your fortune, and again he
wants to borrow dollar. But he is
always pleasant, affable and agreea-
BILE, whether engaged in the soliciting
of millions in world-stirring plans, or
in attempting to secure free lunch.
The truthful man will affront you
with rude candor and hold up your
faults brutally to your notice. But
the liar-he will do nothing Of the
sort. He will make you comfortable
and happy. He will put you at peace
with the world and with destiny.
Whether he is in commerce, in poll
tics, or in the show business, whether
he is offering you position or asking
favor, let him be respected in the
future, and let his merits be recog-
nized.