The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1894-12-09
LARRABEE GETS ANGRY.
HEISPROVORED BY THE IGho"""N
OF FELLOW oGUyQHITTERS.
In sub,equsnt Frocssdisss He Throw" Ne"
Light Upon tho Annual "sP"'
"Seerstsry" Norton

Oot NQIlI, Me-, DeS. ,ad Deacon
LittIeheld. Az, pros
Secretary Morton's report TO the fieS
erdunt." responded Mr.. Larrr,sd the pea-
SECRETARY .iorton!' reBsdtss5u, e''~
con. WHAT'S he SECRETARY vi. tho face
a look OF disgust spread over , n,s ma
Of Mr. Larrabee, as ne droppei il's 20, y"
per, upon his knees and puSheu ''''
tacles up over his forens9u' .rr u,o,Idn't
WAL. Deacon" said ne, VA 49, i, ON
b'lieved IL IL anybody else lad toLa ~ ~,
ye. Dunnos IL so sprisin, Inoue,' tnow
I think ont Can't expect a NAV when he
much about the Cover nuht VIZ. n ~
don't read nothin' bat plous pepPeiS 1 ~
back-numbers at thet. Thet Ihe I Rns-
renee 'twixt you an me. p pfS % INV
EN-. bnt Barick Marstin said 'twan't no
use in both on Us buying. y gu a, ,,sn
for the pepper. says ne. am ynornin'
fetch II up L the haouse es . ~ savs
Only don't crumpie it UP TOO nuch' says
'Dunno's / ever see you look at
NORM pepper, Deacon. rust !hine go
know you'll be raound wanlln I know
who's Preserdunt an what ne SCI
aunt OF. II JOCKS, deacon, elt an , doue
O. patience with men like you be. here
you be, an American citerzun, 'o o, rs
lar eyry, Two year LOT us elr o. Rep
ersenttives, an gittin you teh-uoha,
bill ev'ry two year for dom ont an E,e
you don't know who secretary -ho , ' of
L
WAL. I'll tell We. Deacon, W ,hli nd I'VE p
Secretary of. He's Secretary OF the Dover
Hoss Railroad" TOO, for tho
whats he ben writin', pieces ir roi t the
Boston pepper for?' uHiiuis "'d'''
ITS his reg'lar annual report I tine tne
Preserdunt," answered MIR. Larrapee:
"Pootty good readin'. too. be.o In D day;
pepper thets got it in some rainy u"''
After the Deacon had gone out, Mr.
Larrabee took. survey OIL 't Their toes
Ogunquiters who were toasting theit uoes
by the Postmasters fire. lie was d ~
surprised to note the seriousness He H.
on the countenances OF e VelyooddS in an
ent. The Postmaster was ensdSeu III IL"
other part OF the store. ~, e,t.,,.
Mr. Lara bee wondered why MS ieho"
townsmen didn't laugh httei; oet
Cured to him that WIKI iIlSn' 81
them off. He winked once" lcer ssil,i
again, but there was no responsive g uIIiaTE
not even litter. Then ne "'ihcu
some more. ~, Gill; ~,
Got suthin' i'm your eye Uncle Sllas
asked Mr. aamuel Goodwin. A.,
Not tibet / knows on, answered. MI
Larrabee. .ho, % do
manded Mr. Goodwin. u,.o
Then MIR. Larrabee became H'''e
"S'pose you fellers set here few min
utes.' said he. AN I'll go up an GET Incc
meetin haouse an fetch IT. dao"n an
Ileve theV's one on We t'would know any
thing d happened haout the cohterou-
ton boxes should git loose !, an rr T4Hiy
thetd skeer ye pootty nigh TO death;
80 YOU fellers is jist 5 bad s the. pea
con s You swallered the null Dus ness
sames he done! You think I t M9Tton
SECRETARY of the Dover. Hoss Railroad:
Amt none on ye knows I he's meiRDei
4 the Cabinet. He amt SECRETARY OF no
boss railroad he's SECRETARY OF HSel-
culture of the United States of Amerlky.
Talk abaout intelligence JOCKS, they
pootty nigh s much inteIergence settlh
raOund here to-day on these ere naour
bar'ls, shoe boxes, an nail KEGS as you
find squattn' raound a roast hllssloidi-
aout In the Cannerbal Islands.
"Ey'ry one on We farmers, too, an Z;
kind Of one-hoss way. Here's man,
part of the Naytional Cover munt' p
trests of farmers. an not single ono
on We ever heern tell on him. -. .,.....
IAN goes TO show I the SECRETARY Wa
right when he said tibet what the farm
ers wanted was new idees. | guess, II ne
could come daown L Ogunquit FOR abaout
hat a day, he'd make up ms nInu ne
din't tell no lie when he SAID met am
so sure. though, but tibet he ieaVe the
new aout and jest make 1t tibet what
the farmers needed was idees. Most any
kinds good enough FOR you leIiers-olu
or new. ,....,.. that's ouv
up from eend to eend TO tallSin' abaout
farmin'. Best thing 7 | ever see writ py
a Cabinet minister. GIFTS right daown l
everyday life; talks abaout things thet
farmers is thinkin' abaout; don't go
shootin over folks heads; boss sense
ev'ry word ont"
ley in -" asked Mr.. Goodwin; ,,,..,,
Yes" answered Mr.. Larrabee. "Itll
tell you more on them subjects thet you
ought 10 know then you ever kno"ed
atore in all your life 90, H., ou,.,,.
"Haow bout terrers| asker anotneL,;
"Anythin' wuth readin roaOut terreTsF
"Pooty nigh ha'f column answered
Mr. Larrabee, "thet's more or less con-
sarned with letters. Considerable baout
sorter takes holt of US folks daown mere
L Ogunquit. 'Cordin' to Secretary Nor
ton. they amt no apples raised In Ogun-
quit tibet they amt market Ior over 10
England. They want the pest apple.
we've got TO make into pies an ear
raw; they want the wust we've got tests
much's they want the best Only an
runce is, we must put the Daa ones-'he
hubby ones, wormy ones an theLh thet
a leetle spiled-through prehh nary
process" ,,..,., cuo..n
eagerly inquired Mr.. Ephraim Davis who,
by the way. is. an Ogunqultter VINO en-
joys quite local reputation as me
grower of a "leetle the Wust apples
that ever hung on trees. =,
why, make cider on sem. answered an. iae.i
MIR. LdIGdbDtt. i he p1'iN -.
say nothin' 'baout sortin aout the nub-
bly,. wormy, and spilled ones 70 make
cider on; all he says Is, send clder, an
they'll buy IL over 10 London ana Liver
pool an all over England, | spose. But
want necessary for him 10 tell us what
kind o. apples 10 take TO the Cider mn.
He knows 7 we know all about thet.
"'Twouldn't a-looked well, nuther. IN a
Secretarys report, sent oaut from the
Cover ment printin' office, TO say 10 the
farmers of Ameriky, II you've got lot
O. apples on hand thets Il leetle TOO pad
{ eat an a leetle too good | give I the
hogs, make 'em into cider an SEM EN-
over t Englain. He done oer'e c u ma;
He Jest said, Send 'em your cholcest
apples for eatin' purposes-they want
EN-; and, by the way. send EN- IeeIit
cider-they want that, too. IL thet wan
a slick way OF givin' good adNice my
name amt Silas Larrabee. lie knoWed
we'd understan' what he meant;
"Haows this ere Morton, plped up
self? Seems though ne must De n.
Il don't think" Mr.. Larrabee answer
ed. that Secretary Morton ever zone
much reel ginerwine farmin', Dut ne
pootty well posted, an he's got VIVA
you might call an agerculcral nina.
guess you wouldn't ketch him PUTIN ms
biggest apples or letters in the middle OF
the bar'l, an ! amt skeered oht thdt
he'd know enough to water COW lore
he sold her overweight to butcher;
sized him up jist the minute ] see what
he said about apples an cider. Gln EN-
your best ones says he for cookln an
eatin an don't forgit.' says he, that
they want all the cider you've got TO
sell. "
"Do you know what I'd do II | was
twenty year younger" demanded MT.
Larrabee.