The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1894-02-02
MARK TWAIN AND THE MELON.
low an Honest Action Was Promptly Re.

low an Honest Action Was Promptly Re-
warded.
Mark Twain was recently the guest
of the Oxford club, in Brooklyn, and in
the course of the evening made the fol-
lowing characteristic remarks:
Some men deserve compliments, but
the only one that is welcome to a mod
est man is the one that is undeserved.
In writing Tom Sawyer had no idea
of laying down rules for the bringing
up of small families, but merely to
throw out hints as to how they might
bring themselves up, and the boys
seemed to have caught the idea nicely.
1t is difficult to talk without text,
and very trying to modest man to
talk on a compliment to himself. I
might appear vain. On that point 1
would Immediately convene this gath
ering into a lodge of sorrow. 1 read
story the other day which shall use
as my text. 1t recited how the gov
ernor of this state confessed that he
had stolen dollar back from a boy
who had stolen it from him, and that
he proceeded to draw moral from the
confession of his own mendacity.
There is an old maxim that says all
men are liars forget who wrote it,
whether it was King Solomon or little
George Washington. But, whoever it
was, perhaps he himself was the one
he meant when he wrote it. have a
new maxim to suggest: 'All men are
thieves and liars They don't all re-
main thieves, but they do remain liars.
Some men reform in the first class.
Now, in the matter of theft, as be-
tween the governor and mel say it
with all modesty-yet 1 could beat
him out in moral conscience.
He speaks of how he stole the
bill and shows no signs of making res
titution. When was boy in Missouri
the farmers carted their watermelons
to market for sale. One day 1 climbed
up on one of the wagons to look at the
melons, and, wondering in my mind
what Providence had in store for me
and whether it was anything favora-
BILE. l would be there, however, and
would not lose the benefit. 1t turned
out that Providence had me in mind,
for the farmer went away and l stole d
watermelon. felt as good as the gov
ernor did with his dollar. When 1 had
taken the melon to place of safety 1
concluded that it was my duty to see
whether the melon was good or wheth-
er [ had been imposed upon, SO I
plugged it. 1t was green. concluded
that one could not eat melon in that
state and that it was wrong and crimi-
nal to bring such fruit to market. On
due consideration I took it back and
delivered it up to the farmer The gov
ernor didn't do that, and that's where
we differ. 1 had moral sense of duty.
l took the melon back and showed the
farmer that it was green, and told him
he should not peddle green fruit. He
very properly apologized and gave me
a ripe one. We parted good friends,
with the assurance on my part that he
would always have my custom. That
was the reward of honesty, and where
the governor and 1 differ. could very
readily see the criminality of the farm
er peddling green fruit, and while it
was not necessary for me to confess my
part and repent, my fine sense of moral
right enabled me to effect a COM
promise. l must ask you all to confess
your thefts, what was the date of the
last one, its nature and whether you
intend to continue in your career."-
Detroit Free Press.