Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-01-11
Let Us All Laugh.
A sCENTER shot: Shooting skur

a SCENTER SllOT: SlOOUlns SKUNK.
Union County Standard.
WHEN a man fails his friends say
he has gone up. -Galveston News.
JAGsoN says you never know how
empty man is until he's full. Ell
mira Gazette.
WHEN young ladies preside at a
church tea they reign as we'll as pour.
Lowell Courier.
! WHAT an awful blow it would be
to long haired musician to become
bald -AtchisOn Globe.
II is impossible to have the last
word with chemist, because he al
ways has a retOrt.-BOstOn Courier.
PATIENT Doctor, | feel that | am
at deaths door" Doctor (enthusias-
tically)-"Oh, don't fear. Well pull
you through. Puck.
SHE-"All of which convinces me
that you married me for my money"
Howell, it may not seem probable,
but I honestly loved you. Life.
TEACHER-"W What happened when
the man killed the goose that laid
the golden egg?" Dick HickS-"His
goose was cooked. "-BrOOklyn Life.
Odd Dumley's marriage involve
any financial esponsibility?" "Oh,
yes: his wife requires him to earn
enough to pay his laundry bills. y
Judge.
BELovED-''Why, what time to
be calling It's halfpast 9. The
lights are out at TO-" Lover-"Just
like me- I'm always early. detroit
Tribune.
SPECTAToR-Doesn't it require a
deal of courage to go up in balloon?
Aeronaut--NOt a bit, ma'am. It's
the coming down in it.-Boston
Transcript.
TRAMP-"Please, mum, have you
any cold vittles:" Housekeeper-"I
am sorry to say, sir, that everything
is hot" Slams the door - New
York Weekly.
WOOL suppose it's not a COM
mendable thing to confess, but |
must say | hate children" Van
Pelt-"Why don't you join Mr..
Gerry's society?"-Life.
MISS SOFTLY (who has been at
tending course of lectures)-''O,
Professor, l saw such a funny old fOs-
sill in the museum to-day. | thought
of you at once Vogue.
STUDENT-"I will tell you frankly
that | shall not be able to pay for
the suit till next year. When will
you have it ready?" Tailor-"Next
year. "-Flieg ende Batter.
81 SEE your hired man is an octo-
room" ooh, no. He's white man.
te-'s cooking-school experiments this
week and he's bilious, Judge.
TEACBER-"Can any of you tell me
what is meant by home industrieS?'
Billy Bright (promptly)-"Up to our
house they're mostly Sawin wood an
"arryin in coal. buffalo Courier.
HICKS" Cold in death Do you
think that a good expression?"
Wicks-"It depends good deal upon
the kind of life which has been led
by the deceased. Boston Tran
script.
AT THE SALON. Can you tell me
what that picture represents" THAT
is Queen Cleopatra. Have you never
heard of her." Never in my life.
so seldom read the papers. "L'In-
I, transigeant.
"Made an awful mistake at the
Gotrox's reception. Stepped up TO
one of the guests and told him to
call me horse and carriage. Did
he do it," NO He called me an
ass. "-Indianapolis Journal.
MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENT. =
"a lady, young, pretty, bright and
poor. desires to make the acqualnt-
ance of d man with the opposite
| qualities. with view to a happy
marriage -Fliegen1e Blaetter.
CHoLLY-I should hate to marry
such a bright woman. Why, last
week her husband sent her a tele
gram saying he should stay late at
| the office and she sent an answer to
the club that she would sit up till 3.
/ Life.
aWHERE is Ella?" "She left the
| ballroom a few minutes ago. saying
that she didn't fancy being squeezed
in the crowd" WAS Charley with
herr" YES: and | think that by
this time he has found a place where
there is no crowd. Judge.
| yIs1TOR-I am most grieyed to
| learn Of your mistress illness. Moth
! ing serious: no great cause for alarm,
I trust? The New French Maid
No. monsieur: noZZing beeg, nozZins
grande. Somezing-what YOU call
| leetle. petite Visitor-What is it?
The New French Maid-Eet is what