The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1894-10-05
WISE AND OTHERWISE. /.

whatever Ills he suffers, has a child
TO love.-Southey.
Courtesy is the art of taking your
fellow-crcatures by the right hand in
stead Of the wro0g.
Hell will be the hottest 10 the sinner
who goes to 1t from the bosom of tho
cburch.--Ram's Horn.
The heart resembles the ocean: has
storm and ebb and flow, and many a
beutlful pearl lies In Its depths.
Speaking much Is sign of vanity.
for he that is lavish In words Is n mig.
gard In deed.-Sr Walter Raleigh.
A peaceful dog may not fight, but
ne often does that which Is worse-1he
watches where the other dog hides his
bone.
Many man would carry bur-
den contentcdly Ii offic.ous persons
ord not tell him II was too heavy
Milwaukee Journal.
Miss Twdlter Is one of the women
who goes IN for dress refoim." Dear
me. now If she'd only never come out
gain."-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Mamma-"well, Walter, how do you
Hike your new tutorT' Walter with
unfegned enthusiasm)-"G "Good-way up
in G.. He's sick half the tinn."-New
York Truth.
John came home last night with
terrible jag on" ANY particular cause
for 1t Yes. I believe yesterday
was bargain day at two Of the big
gest aloons."-Judge.
st. Peter-"Whewl What are your
New ArYival--."I am part OF a boy
who was celebrating the Fourth of
July. The rest Of me will be along
presently.-New York Truth.
"Why do you not send Strong away
for his health?" Doctor-"He has too
much as it is. It's all can do now
to keep him In bed long enough to get
decent bill."-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
First Denver Burglar-"What did
you find upstairsT Second Denver
Burghar-"Nothin' but silver" First
Denver Burglar-'.Throw 1t away
quick! Here's bar'l Of potatoes."-
New York Truth.
Little Sister-"YOu'1 make yourself
snub-nosed If you push the washrag
to your face that way. Why don't you
wash DOWN." Little Brother-"I
wasn't told to wash down, was told
to wash up."-Good News.
'Do you believe In second sight"
asked Dumley of Jack Pott; and the
man with four aces the other night.
and shall not try second sight for
some time."-Boston Commercial
Don't worry whether the man who
says nice things to you means them
or not. The fact that he takes the
pains to say them is compliment. He
doubtless has an AK to grind, but il
doesn't follow that you must be the
grindstone
Little Ethel-"I wonder why men
like to talk about their old school
days. Little Johnny-"I suppose af-
ter they get growed up they Is al
ways trytn' to find out where the
teacher hives, so uhey can lick him"
Good Nows.
Housewife Showing sample or milk
to local ry-keeper)-"Look here!
bought This milk Of you--its half
water, and the rest is chalk, and you
sold II as pure country milk" The
Milk Maker with dign.ty)-"Madam
to the pure all things are pure."-1Hd-
Bits.
Mrs. Quickleigh-"The first man who
ever proposed to me said that If I
would not marry him he would blow
his brains out" Miss Wonder--"Good
gracious! He must have been crazy.
Why didn't you have him put under
restraint?' Il did. l married him."
New York Herald
"Now,' said the bird dealer, "ff n
t,, 20 l,.,,. Il.
ed you II the bird swOre. what would
you sayT "W'y," said the boy who
wanted a job, "I'd sorter act idiot.c
Eke and pretend not to understand
him. Then IL ne got matt and cussed
me. ID tell him yes.7-CIncinnati Tr!-
bune.
M,ssionary-"My dear brother, there
is a tinge of divine love IN the heart
Of every man, however humble"
Kentucky Mountaineer-"Don't bleeve
no sich derned thing!" ''1Nen tell me,
brother what Is 1t that prompts you
to love your wifeT 'rMe, My wife,"
"Yes, sir" Huh! Ye nevah seed
huh hoe con, did yeY"-Cleveland
Pbaindealer.
A Presbyterian elder attended a
Methodist revival which he found too
noisy TO his taste. He ventured to
say to leading member: "Could we
not carry on these meetings with less
noiseT adding that SolOmon's team
pie was built without any sound, not
even Of a hammer. The Methodist
brother replied: 1--WE are not build
ing temple; we are blasting rocks"
Western Recorder.