The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-06-24
PRESENT CUSTOM is
TOO OLD FASHIONED.
ALSO OF THE OPINION THAT wo.
MEN ARE sHREwDER THAN MEN.
Had She Her Way, She Would Brush
Aside the Cobwebs of Superstition
and Have Leap Year Customs
Prevail All the Time-some Rea-
soas for Her Belief.

manner of men ana women we are 81
Corydon may be the gentlest of SWANS
and Phyllis the sweetest sheperdess
that ever carried n crook, so long as
they meet to WOO and to he wooed; but
when they change their pastoral pur-
suits for homely housekeeping, the de-
fects of each are for the first time eX-
posed to the other.
1t is all very well to sit on the messy
bank beneath some ancient tree in the
leafy month of June, surrounded by
flowers and frisking lambs and to bah
BILE of love and eternal fidelity, but to
sit by a smoky fire in the winter, when
the larder is empty and the purse IS
low. and flowers and lambs and June
are dead and love itself FAST dying, will
test the strongest vows and unloose
the most latent discords. Each is sur
priSed to find that the character OF the
other was misunderstood. Each feels
deceived and aggrieved, and reproaches
aud tears take the place Of billings and
cooin.s
But tie glitteling mansion is not eX-
empt from tho evils of the matched
cottage. There may be wealth and
rank, and full measure of worldly
prosperity vet discord win enter in.
and unstable as her humber sisters.
Her lordly spouse is in his way as sell
fish and eXacting as simple Corydon.
Ennui and friction are as fatal TO the
happiness Of the great as cold and
want are to the poor. And why? Be
cause neither really knew each other.
because both masked their feelings and
displayed their most agreeable quail
Ties and abilities. Because the role of
the man was to win, and of the woman
to be won. 1t was his to pursue bold
ly and hers to coyly retreat. Thus he
displayed a fictitious courage, and she
an artificial modesty, with two lives
wrecked as a result.
These methods may have been suit
able for a barbarous age, when men
Wooed like the birds and beasts of the
field, and lived scarcely better lives
than they. But at this period of hu-
man evolution, we require more ration
cesses which will promote truth
and honesty between sexes prior
to marriage, and thus prevent unpleas-
ant after developments And in order
TO accomplish this We must first sweep
away the eohwebs of superstition, par
ticularly those which render it immod-
est for a woman to make the first ad-
VanceS in affection. Women are far
shrewder than men in the matter of
the chioce Of a mate. and are less gov
erned by blind passion. If they had
the same freedom to propose as men
have, there would be fewer unhappy
marriages.
THE GIRLS PROPOSAL.
1T is drue a woman has many WAYS
of letting man know that he is pleas
ing to her without saying so in so many
words. But men have the same. And
any such indication on t1er pant would
as Things are, be liable to serious mis-
construction. She might be accused of
levlty, or even wantonneSs, unless she
could be permitted to make her intsan-
ton clear by "a definite proposal. 1t
might sound a little strange at first
for a modest and pretty girl to say:
Dear Mr.. Smith. / have had the plea
sure Of knowing you for some time and
have the highest esteem for your char
acter ! am sure you would make a
good and affectionate husband to a
suitable wife. Our views and feelings
have often been mutually exchanged
in the most friendly and unreserved
manner, and l have learned to enter
tain a tender regard for you. If you,
as f1atter myself you do, feel similar
ly towards me- and think / could make
you a wife after your own heart,
should feel myself the happieSt wo-
man adive by your accepting me-
Should you consent to nv prOpOsal I
once Ito your mother This, we say,
might sound strange at first, but not
not stranger than now when at a ten
ants ball the ladies of the great house
invite the men TO dance with them;
ard after a few courageous maideus
had essaYed and succeeded, it would
quickly become the fashion. Young
men, we hear. are shy of proposing
nowadays, and so cultivate bachelor
lrcOd. This is not only an evil TO the
commonwealth. but it is also a wrong
u its fadrer members and a tacit re-
pIoadh 10 their character. AS men
are not given 10 excessive modesty as
10 their own qualifications, it cannot
,be supposed that they think them
selves not good enough for the women.
1T would be a great Slur ON our mar
Iialgabhe young women, however, to
suppose that they are not good enough
for The men. ana still worse if it could
be said that neither are fit for mar
1'taGe- If 'dhe young men will not do as
Gheir fathers before them, and what
has hitherto been considered their du-
fy, let our girls inaUgunate a better
state OF things by proposing on their
own account. After the first novelty
mas wogm OFF. no one win accuse them
of impropriety or forwardness.
In truth it seems most fitting, if there
should be any preference in proposing,
That woman should possess it. At pres
ent marriage is OF more Importance to
her than to a man. Our opponents are
never tired of telling us that it is her
e.wocation. Woman will take them at
their word. a good woman's happi-
ness centers in her home. There she is
mistress, mother and queen. 1t IS her
delight to make all within it's influence
the happier and better for her rule, and
10 convert it into an earthly paradise.
But TO do this she must have the man
whom she can love most truly. and
must therefore, have the right Of
choosing.
LADY MONTAGUE'S REPLY.
One of the most beautiful and ac-
complished Englishwomen of her day
Lady Mary Wortley Montague, daugh-
ter of the duke and wife of an arabas-
Sador, and an associate of the most i'm
tellectual men in Europe an unro-
mantle. clear-headed, fashionable lady
who saw more of life, perhaps. than
any other woman, wrote in reply 10
Rochefoucaults cynical maxim Thar
marriage is sometimes convenient. but
never delightful and said: 1T is inn
possible to taste the delights of love in
perfection, but in a well-assorted mar
rage A fond couple attached TO
each other by mutual affection are two
lovers who live happily together
Though the priest pronounces certain
words, though the lawyers draw up GER
tain instruments, yet l look on these
preparatives in the same light as a
lover considers a rope-ladder which he
fastens to his miStreSs'S window IF
they can but live together, what does
Ill signify by what means the union is