The Opelousas courier., 1894-01-06
HUMOR OF hi DAY.

Don't be q valet to your hero; 1t
may disgust him.
The most lovable of dumb animals
is a good listener Puck.
After all, the love knot is the top
knot on the head of human happiness.
Puck.
A cynic observes that the most popu-
lar air with the girls these days is a
millionaire.
A girl will never forgive a fellow
whom she has Tilted for making a sue.
cess of life. Puck.
When a man gets a hearing in court,
he is likely to hear something that he
doesn't like.-Puok.
It is the man who wears Congress
CATERS who wonders now the shbe.
string sellers make a living.
She told the young man oftentimes
She really couldn't love himt
Six feet, she but five feet, he
Ofcou-se she felt above him..
Detroit Tribune.
Solemn Stranger-ttAll flesh is
grass" Deaf Man -'tHey?" Solemn
Stranger-''No, grass."-New York
Press.
The bulldog has a pretty tight grip
in this world, though he often escapes
trouble by the mere skin of his teeth.
Truth.
Gunson-"hnother increase in your
family, eh? Son or a daughter?"
Bilbee ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS =
Kate Fields Washington.
"I've come out of this tight squeeze
in pretty good shape" said the new
half-dollar, fresh from the stamping
machine. Chicago Tribune.
"Man wants but little here below"
But it's this fact that daunts-
He's sure to get a little less
Than the little that he wants.
".. Washington Star.
Some Of the fashionable schools are
making worldwide regulations by
teaching the young lady students to
spell their names wrong.-Galveston
News.
In the American Colony: Shells
Miss Bond engaged to Prince Sans.
SOUP" He-''Not exactly. He has an
option for ninety days, I believs."-
Harlem Life.
When a woman has quail for Dime,
she wants to invite in a neighbor, so
the neighbor may know it, but q man
doesn't want anybody there but him
| self.-Atchison Globe.
Customer lin bookstore)--';1 would
like to get some good book on faith.
| Clerk-"Sorry, sir, but our rule it to
sell nothing to strangers except for
| cash."-Buffa1o Courier.
Miss observation-disclosures to be rather
a good year this for fruit, Giles? Are
| all YOUR trees as full of apples as thet
| one!' Giles-"Oh, nav, miss, only
the apple trees. study.
He had a sorral ~trotting-horse
Which was SO pesky slow
He named him Chinese, after a while.
Because he wouldn't go,
Detroit Free Press.
Van Noodle-"D'yer know, Miss
Tungbit, that old duffer Chapwith
called me q muff the other night?"
Miss Tungbit-tIndeed? Why, I think
you more closely resemble a boa
Brooklyn Life.
Jack (who has popped)-sIt takes
you a long time to decide" Nettie-
81 know il and I've about concluded
to wear demi-train of white chiffon
over white silk and have ne brides
maids. "--Texas Siftings.
Mrs. Billus latter the company had
gone)-"Johnny, you shouldn't have
eaton those preserved fruits. They
were not intended TO be eaten. They
were put on the table to Eli up" Johnny
Billus-"Well, that's what I used EN-
for, mamma."-Chicago Tribune.
Two cabmen a short time ago had a
fishing match for half a sovereign and
drinks. Suddenly one of the ~jarvies
fancied he had a bite, and, being over
anxious, had the misfortune to fall
into the river. On his regaining the
shore, his rival shouted out: "All bets
are of, Jim none O yer divin' in aftel
'em."-Tit-Bits