New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-07-01

That's what's spoiled everything DO you know
that most of the worlds blessings are terrible
mockerfes? They've been 80 20 me: they've just
haunted me. They've made me brood and brood.
instead Ut thinking about other people. Per
haps what I've suffered will be- taken as expia-
ton. You see. still believe In expa-
ton; and yet | don't believe In God Isn't that
strange? II seems 10 be rooted In my being |
suppose It Is In ny New England blood: it's an
inheritance from my crazy Puritan ancestors.
Oswald hasn't got it-not a touch Of it, Yet he's
had t. share my eXpiatiOn and he has been 50
brave and 50 accompanying about II. Perhaps
IT'S because he robbed me f my faith in God with
his doubts and MS arguments and his theories.
I've thought Of that; rye thought Of everything.
oh, If could only get it back" she walled III
could only get 1t back"
you can. ! sure You can said Evelyn.
God is mercifu. Just ask him for faith and
1t VIII come 10 You know 1t will"
10 God when don't believe ~ exists? And yet
I'm not satisfied. | feel a terrible longing. II
only could pray. once ! could that years
ago-before began 10 doubt. But now it's i'm
possible impossible"
But you can try Mrs Webb. you can try"
Evelyn cried. surprised at her own earnesness.
NO. | can't even try. rs too late. II there
Is a God he has turned away from me. Some
times when think of it get into despair. But
I'm going 10 make an atOncment, perhaps that
Will save mo. You sec. can't get away from
the old haunting terror that was bred in me.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid
What are you afraid o. Mrs Webb? am
sure you have led good life Y,u have never
done wrong"
There are plenty # bad lives that are better
than mine. Mine has been was draggins-
down Of others. Think what |,e been 10 my
husband torment. trial. lie has sacrint.i
himself for me rye spoiled his rar@er Oh.
don't don't say haven't ! kii'w hcu
realize II now plainly And yet Thought | was
giving him everything. It was 'us' NY selfish
ness That's what I must atone f'r
u am sure You blame yourself un' "'"ssarily'
Evelyn said she wondered why sh. was being
made the recipient II thes" condolences. ana she
wished that Mr.. Webb would come back and pat
an end - them.
you'll be- surprised when sou hear what I'm
going - say To- YOU" the invalid went ON. ig-
noring Eveyn's remark I'm surprised myself
that can say it, \ little while ago | couldn't;
but. as I said. everythiu has changed with me
lately can do things now that couldn't have
done before" She began 10 breathe hard again
and she waited. as II 10 gather strength 'Dd
YOU know" she resumed ar last. that my hus-
band-that he's I'm love with your
Evelyn felt the blood surge - her face, then u
surged back and for q moment she thought her
heart had stopped beating. and she grow faint i
am sure You are mistaken sh" cried. rms Is a
mere fancy. mere hallurnatiou she coy
cred h.r fac" with her hands; she was almost
overwhelmed with shame.
Mrs webb looked ~ he4 quietly f1r moment
Then she said II folt surc You didn't know. J
had confidence In youth spite ~ my doubts ~
niet"
You mustn't say such things" Evelyn tx.
claimed passl.uaicly "You have no right"
Then when she booked nt fhc rmaciat.d figure
brf,r. her she blamed herself fnr her harshn"ss
~ course. she told herself Mrs Webb was not
responsible for what She was saving
Don't misundcrstaud me the invalid vent
IN. He doesn't realize 10 himself Pui under
stand him / have seen Ifs quite unconscious
un his part ~. won't know e. iNl I'm gone,
perhaps flr a long time after These things are
,.r, tfrsue. You think this is very strange,
,nl DON'T YOU ry Speaking You think rs
efraug" that seem 20 ARE so litile about II.
go care / cate greet dcnl f1r him. AMI
know rs an foT ne best .,,..., ..,,
4 with you wouldn't SAY such things said
Evelyn Don't You sce that rs rong-to
mv?"
~. u Isn't wrong I want to prevent any
mistake. want you 10 know. You could make
oswald happy I'm sure ~ that You would
care for The things be- cares for I've n.rVer
perhaps You could help him - make ny for all
These years Doe has wasted On me-. You kn'N
h,w much talent De- had ami ho~ h'il" he's done
with 10 It. an my fluif. should Hike -
Whist a sacrifice am making - tell You this
IT'S adj a mistake" said Evelyn. trying % c'n-
troll herself you viii realize it By and 10y. when
Whom g,t better" the invalid repeated. with
"a kind Of uournful sarcasm THIN shan
care Now that I've spoken I'm snnsi'i' I'r'
mat Tv. M. ~ least one uu-elish thing In my
M Now | fce tired. Just riag that bell
won't you? Thanks
The nurse glilcl IN swiftly ami silently ana
Oswald Webb followed Evelyn hardly dared -
look him In the face. she was afraid thc In
valid would speak out before him what she had
just said o. her At ihc Thought - ms posi-
f.
announced that she hal had good AK WIN
Miss Johnson and was much better for u.
Evelyn said that she feared she had tired her
out and started o. -.
webb. taking her hand. Vow KISS me- g''d
by You'N pray for me- WON'T YOU? on ned
everyblIy's prayers. There. RpbibN. G''ihy.
D,nt forget to pray for me-" Then she turned
her head toward her husband
Miss Johnson has great faith. Oswald" She
said
II wish we all had" he replied quietly.
Something in Webb's manner evidently DIS
pleased the invalid.
Oswald Is "A mat"riallsi, she crird. turning
her head ON the pillow 10 fix her CLASSY eyes upon
him 'TIr thinks there's nothing In the world
but matter matter. rs horrible doctrine.
There's spirit. there must hc spirit
He did not attempt to argue with her lie
merely said: Hush. dear, hush
"Now. don't YOU talk to me Ike that she
cried a flush spreading over her yellow face. II
won't have IT. Do you think husband has
any right to talk to his wife Ike that Miss
! Evelyn was standing near the bedside She
felt unable to move or to speak; she prayed for
why don't you answer me-" Mrs. Webb cried
with sudden access Of strength. aftcr waiting
a moment for reply. why dont YOU an an
swcr me? Are you in league with him. too|
Miss Johnson must 90 now, Constance. said
webb. quietly, seeing the look OF terror IN
lie touched Evelyn on the arm and she was
about 10 leave the room; but the Invalid raised
Don't YOU 20 with him Hen take away
J vnur faith just as he's taken away mine. Os-
| valid Webb" she went on, raising her voice,
" give me back my faith. | can't die without
fam DO YOU hear? Give me back my faith
Her voice subsidized to vail and she kept re-
pcatlng: $500
Give me back my faith. Give me back my
faith"
! Evelyn. who had remained rooted to the spot
where she stood when Mrs Webb turned upon
her husband suddenly lost the fear that she frst
/ : h.4h elgi la 90 T.
| vald's hand Her womany instinct had told
| her that this was the best thing To do under the
| circumstances Mrs Webb instead OF requesting
| her seemed soothed by her touch. and grew
| uucter: but, she continued to moan piteously!
| 'rm afraid I'm afraid
| what are you afraid Of. Mrs. Webb said
| Evelyn putting her fac' close 10 the inVahu
| wasted cheek.
| "Im afraid Of death. ] imagined was get