Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-07-12
HUMOR OF THE'WEEK
Many Odd, Curious, and Lsughable Phase
Of Human Nature Graphically Portrsyed
by Eminent Word Artists Of Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.

of Human Nature Graphically fortrsyco
By Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.
sprinkles OF Spice.
"D0 YOU feel alarmed about Banks
symptoms, Doctor?" Doctor-"NOt
now His father has promised to pay
the bill. Inter Ocean.
"WHAT do you mean by saying
Goober is on the homestretch?" HE
Is trying to geta ten-room family into
flve-room house. Detroit Tribune.
DINER Ito waiter who brings the
soup)-"Why didn't you take your
finger out of that soup?" Waiter
ooh, it isn't hot. "-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
AMERICAN Little Girl Ito her man.
ma)-@What is dead letter, please?"
Mamma-aOne that has been given
to your father to post. Jewish Mes
senger.
A. MACKINTOsCH figures among the
men pulled In a speak-easy raid. They
might have expected to have found
him among wet goods. -Philadelphia
Ledger
CLARA-"Do you believe in the
doctrine OF every man for HIMSELF"
May-"No. l believe that it should
be every man for some girl. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
PARENTS whose sons are returning
from college are experiencing that
annual depressing feeling OF not
knowing enough to come in when 1T
rains.-Atchison Globe.
"AH!" remarked the great must.
clan, as he walked the floor with his
bowling offspring in his arms; at Is
much easier to compose grand opera
than wakeful baby. Puck.
Il SUPPOSE by this time, Bobby,
you know both French aud German?"
said the visitor. "Well," said Bobby,
II can't say / know 'em, sir, but-Tm
aware of 'em. "-Harpers Bazaar.
SPEAKING of persistency," re-
marked the ll.poster thoughtfully,
"my trade is certainly one in which
man will never make cent except
by sticking at it Buffalo Courier.
STICKBY-Who is your most dis
tant relative, Bill?" Bill Frayedout
(who is known to have relatives
abroad)-My cousin, John WelltodO
Just across the street.--BostOn COW
rier.
GEoRGE-Amelia dear. do you be-
lieve that love is blind? Amelia
Yes, George, darling. George-Then,
dear. do not see any need OF keep
ing the gas burning. Harvard Lam
pcon. e.t.
FIRST WIFE-Don t you often find
your husband in the best of spirits
upon his return from the club, nights?
Sc ond Wife-Indeed, no; find the
best Of spirits in him.-Raymond
Monthly.
SHE-Here's bill from the doc
tor. He-What's it for? Ethel
know, mamma. Doctor spoke cross
to me yesterday on the street and
stuck out my tongue at him. -Yonk-
ers Statesman.
SALEsMAN--Now, this is book 1
can highly recommend. i have read
1t myself. Mrs. Noovah-Oh, then
it would never do. / don't want any
secondhand books. Haven't you any
that haven't been read?-Harper's
Weekly.
HE--What do YOU say, my dear
shall / have my life insured? She
You don't feel as though it would
shorten your life, do you, darling?
He-Pooh. No. She-Oh, well, 1
don't believe I'd go to the expense Of
it then. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Miss BUDD-I don't think, mamma,
that Mr.. Silyertongue will ever come
to the point. I've done everything
you suggested; but he's as far from
proposal as ever. Mrs. Budd-Don't.be
discouraged, dear. You must remem-
Der that Mr.. Silvertongue is United
States Senator.-Puck.
"WHY do you use such peculiar
terms?" asked lawyers wife of her
husband, who had returned home
worn out by his days labor. 81 don't
see how you could have been working
all day like a horse" SWELL, my
dear, he replied, "Fve been drawing
a conveyance all day."-Tid Bits.
POLICE magistrate-This amt the
furst tonne you've been arristed fur
bein' droonk. PrisJner-Its injoos-
tice yez do me, y'r amer. Magistrate
Moind phwat we say! Owe seen
your face scores av tonnes, an lately,
too. Prisoner-Plaze, y'r amer, Oi'm
the new bartiner at Mickey Doolan's.
Puck.
"WHY, Mr.. Gehones. ] did not sup
pose you cared anything for base
ball." said the deacon. Il am sur
prised to see YOU here" Il didn't
come out to see the game" answered
the sensational evangelist. Il get a
good many expressions for my SER
mons from hearing those fellows on
the cheap seats talk to the umpire"
indianapolis Journal
The Basis of the Dance.