The diamond drill., 1894-09-22
PITH AND POINT.


man 10 keep his temper" but is he not
better OFF without IL?
--lIc--"Has your father been vacci-
mated yet?" She-"No: he is going 10
be tomorrow" He-"Tell him to have
il done on the foot. IN. " sun.
AT the Butchers why did you
put up that large mirror near the door?"
"To prevent servant girls from watch
ing the scales. '-fliegende Batter
-Wilton-"So Penner's latest novel
failed 10 catch the public as he expect
ed il would. Any particular reason?"
Walton-"E "Er-it was detective story"
Boston Courier.
Lawyer he'call you liar in
SO many words?" Client-"Wcll, he
called me a weather report" Lawyer
That is sufficient; you are sure 90 get
damages "--Tit-Bits.
How did YOU come 20 break with
Miss Sweetlips? You always said she
was good as gold" "Yes; but got ac-
quainted with girl who had the gold"
Boston Transcript.
-Summitt-"M Gaylev seems
thoroughly imbued with the idea that
youth VIII tell" Bottome-"Ycs; YOU
see, She has three or four small broth.
ers. buffalo Courier.
MIR Manhattan-"D you wear
ear-muffs in Boston when IL is very
cold?" Mr.. bunker Hill-"Certainly
we do" Mr.. Manhattan-"T the
streets can not be so very narrow after
all. "-Siftings.
Physician must avoid all
excitement, avoid beer or wine entire.
ly, and drink only water but, doc.
tor, the idea Of drinking water excites
me more than anything else, Pile
gendc Blatter.
Call-"What Is the matter with
Fido that you are watching him so
closely?n Charlie "Cause mamma
snid your hat was enough to make a
dog laugh, and | wanted TO sea him do
it. t.h-lnter.ocean.
Jimmy What Is this moral cour-
age that the Sunday-school teacher
was tcllin' rs about?n Tommy-'As Is
near as ] kin guess il. it's the kind OF
courage that kids has that's afraid 20
fight indianapolis Journal.
"You don't know how much your
book has helped me. Mr.. Scribbsn Mr..
Scribbs You hattcr me-" II mean
every word of it. Whenever | am rest
less | go get your book and inside Of
fifteen minutes In be asleep"
Patient (complainingly) - can't
make out word OF this prescription,
doctor Physician (grimly) Never
mind. You'll find my handwriting per-
f..tl,- 1.uf1,1. Ifl1 ,.ra,ra,,t ,.,,, t.sHn,n I
send I'm my bill - Somerville journal.
--On the Road Manager treading)-
''The egg product OF the United States
amounts TO eight hundred and fifty
million DOZENS Old Actor reflective
ly)-'I've thought sometimes IL was
more than that. detroit Free Press.
you don't seem 10 get along very
well with yer old friend?' Nav. He
got ter thinkin' he lznowcd too much.
When told i'm he orter put his mind
\ in gymnasium an give is voice va
cation, he got mad. Washington
Star.
Eligible Millionaire ~ wonder
( why girl always shuts her eyes when
era fellow kisses her. Fair Aris-
I tocrat-"I never noticed anything Of
the sort, but suppose it depends upon
the kind OF face the fellow has "-PiclS-
! Me-Up.
-Ramber-"That Bartlett girl
thinks a great deal Of me. When |
told her was going around the world.
she asked me 90 be sure and write her
from every place visited Wilter-
Eyes; she Is scollccting postage stamps"
IN. Y sun.
-Will-"Why do you always carry
those corlss with you when you go TO
call on your fiancee?' Jack Well,
you see, She lives in flat, and use
them for stopping up the speaking
tubes when ain bidding her goodnight
i'm the vestibulc.n-N. Y. Herald.