Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1894-10-18
HIS LAST CRIB.

II ain't,' observed Burglar Joey
Brown as, wheeling and gasping, he
struggled through Lord Heathington' S
scullery window, II amt as narrer as
used to be when / fust entered the
purfession, not by long chalks I'm
putin on flesh, that's wot I'm doin,
and it's time / left off burglin and
took pub. Lawd. but that's made me
sorter sultry"
Burglar joey Brown took large red
handkerchief from one of his suspi
ciously capacious pockets and wiped
his face with energy. He was an old
hand at the game, was joey. True, he
had been "quodded'' once or twice, but
what Of that? Every burglar whose soul
is in his work must expect to be 'quod-
ded" occasionally during his career.
Besides these doses of penal afford
time for reflection and rest.
Joey had made his way cautiously
from the news which lay at the back Of
Lord Heathington s town residence, and
when he had reached the small court
yard which separated the stables from
the main building the rest had been
easy. and here he was in the scullery.
joey rubbed his face until it shone
like a copper kettle and then returned
the handkerchief to his pocket.
If this ere exploit, said Mr. Brown,
addressing the tubs and bowls around
him, turns up trumps and brings in
the dibs, well"-with satisfied
chuckle-"Joe Brown and burglin
will part company. Joe Brown is get
tin too fat for this kind er work. And
now, as Macbeth observes in the play,
Let us away, and inspect is lordship's
valyoobles. -
Joey, whose boots, it is hardly neces-
sary to explain, had been left in a shady
corner of the news, made his way
noiselessly out Of the scullery into the
kitchen and thence into the corridor
"These footmen," said Joey, who
seemed to be perfectly acquainted with
his whereabouts. "snore like 'ogs l
might do 'ornpipe in boots ere and
never be card with that lawful row
goin on.
footman for moment Mr.. Brown pro-
ceeded on his way and assembled to the
first floor
'They'v several little articles in the
drorin room wot want to inspect" he
murmured, after which we will pay
our custom'ry visit to the plate closet. :"
Joey made his way quietly into the
drawing room, but. before annexing
anything of value he deposited himself
upon divan and grew poetical
"Just to think. - he murmured, 'ton'y
this one crib, and then i We done with
the purfession forever Little pub in
the country-shady medders-cows and
sheep baain-new laid eggs and milk
there will Joe Brown spend the hautumn
Of his days-the evenin Of useful ca
reer. E will go to church, be church.
warding. y Here Joey gave vent to a
most unctuous chuckle. "Just fancy,
Joey 'andin the bagl Oh, wot delights
are in store for Joe Brown when e re-
tires from businessl It won't be long
afore there's Mrs. Joseph either Wot,
oh, wot is home without mother? And
now, Joe, you must gag bit and get
to work on these ere golden
Creaki
Joe sat up with a start, and then, with
wonderful alacrity for man of his
bulk, left his seat and slid behind
screen which stood near him.
Creakl
Somebody on the move" said Joe
softly. There's door goin. " He lis.
tened intently, and his quick ears soon
detected the sound of footsteps crossing
the hail. Arrived at the foot of the
staircase, the person, whoever it was,
began to ascend, upon which the bur
glar left his place Of conoealment, crawl
ed to the door and peeped out
g Is lawdshipP'
Joe quickly got back to his screen
and decided to give the master of the
house good half hour in which to get
to bed and to sleep. THAT was narrer
shave, he soliloquized. "Supposin /
'adn't card i'm and ed come plump
in ere and found me restin ON is
sofayl Wy, it 'ud ave meant goodby
to the pub and ow ore yer?' to the
Scrubbs or Portland This ought to
teach you, Joey, that, like other woca-
tions, burglin is never entirely learnt
Now, suppose we''-
Creakl r
Some one else abahtl' was Joey's
classic utterance as he once more crawl
ed to the door and peeped out
There was some one else about As
joey peeped out a tall. dark man in
evening dress issued from the room fac
ing that which was honored with Mr..
ment examining something which glis-
tened in the moonlight, for, contrary to
Jpey's expectations, the moon had dis
engaged herself from the clouds which
had previously enveloped her and was
now shedding her soft light on the
world beneath her.
Whatever the thing was that he was
examining the man put it quickly into
the inside pocket of his dress coat and
then made MS way to the staircase. AS
the ray which came through the fan
light over the door fell on his face joey
saw that it was convulsed with rage
and every evil passion. His teeth were
clinche$ and his dark eyes cleaned
with frN At the foot of the staircase
he paused.
He refusesr' he hissed. my own
brother refuses me this favor-a trifie
to him, all the world to me. Very
WE'LL He stopped speaking and SEEM
ed to wrestle with his better self for
moment Then, with an oath, he began
to ascend the stairs.
well, said Joey to himself as he
rubbed his eyes. this 'ere's a rum 60
Fust is lawdship goes to bed at 1
O'Clock Of the Inornin, when know fur
certin-'avin 'ad it from the second
footman imsef over glass Of beer.
is usual hour is 1 at night, and then,
CLOSE on his heels, comes is lawdship's
brewer aswearin and cussin dreadful
to ear and lookin at summat wot
shines, Joey. my lad. we'll see this
hout
So saying, Mr.. Brown crept softly up
stairs, stopping at intervals to listen
and make sure that he was unperceived.
he reached the first floor and paused
as If uncertain whittier to direct his
steps,
Let's see, he said, " lis lawd-