Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-04-15


attack his young mules and carry them
OF.
He had read that the cost Of raising
mule 10 Kentucky was comparatively
nothing, but when grown $50 10 s5OO
Der pair was very common price. He
wondered why no one had seen tnat De-
fore and taken advantage OF 1t.
So he went to Spain and bought
beautiful jack called Ferdinand II, ana
the two came over together, the Earl OF
Tinktum and Ferdinand II.
Both Of them were seasick most OF the
way over. The Earl suffered most, for
he did not have the mental resources
that Ferdinand did to occupy himself
with.
They landed in Kentucky year ago
and began 70 SIT up and take notice.
The Earl bought twenty iennies and
moved out TO the ranch. There they
have all been for over year, growing
up with the country.
70 change has taken place on the
ranch, so the colonel told me,except
that Ferdinand III last October one day,
when the gum tree was ablaze with
color and the blew grass a soft emerald
under the beautiful shade Of the redden-
ing oak, curled up in a fence corner
and died.
Some said Il was homesickness, but
generally il was agreed that Ferdinand
died because DO mad been disappointed
and deceived by the Earl OF Tlnktum
The colonel got to speaking OF the
calumny against Kentucky regarding
the matter Of whisky.
1--WE don't consume any more whisky
than Maine does, " be said, but we want
It good. Now, my noighbor, Judge III
der, wanted some Of the same kind OF
whisky as mine-it is 9 years old, which
is plenty old enough, think, and ABOUT
as old az we allow il TO get here-so be
went M 10 Louisville and bought bar
rel OF il for medicinal purposes. He
asked me- 20 come down TO his place a.
ter he got home and sample 1t. told
him II was the same thing as mine, only
that / thought l could detect flavor OF
iron-just a traCe-in It.
"He was sorry 20 hear that, and a
week afterward he got Colonel DUNG
ham to come down and pass his opinion
on IL. Dillingham; took some, shut his
ewes and seemed 10 be in brown study
for a few minutes. Then be said-sort
OF slow and conservative, you under
stand-that 10 was the same brand OF
LIQUOR and same age, within three or
four DAYS very likely, but be recEOned
there was just the least little taste OF
leather ia IL.
"Judge Elder couldn't sleep nights
altar that. He worried over II even on
tina bench. and you could see the lines
OF care forming about his mouth.
ssFinallv he cOulnn't stand 10 any
longer. so he told his big niger Joe 10
turn out the whisky slowly and examine
IL carefully and put it into another bar
rel.
oHe did so, and by George Harry! at
the bottom Of the barrel he found
kyarpet tack with leather head on II.
We don't drink much liquor Mr.. Nye,
but we're mighty particular about what
it IS"
Inotlce In a Denver papsr that a suit
FOR divorce has been instituted by Mrs.
Alice Oyster against Mahlon Oyster, her
husband, on the ground OF inhdelity.
Probably she didn't know that be was
an ipfidel when she married him.
She little thought when she married
Mahlon 10 North Platte, Neb., in 1881,
that it would result in an oyster stew so
soon. AT North Platte, Mr. Oyster was
regarded as New York count, but he
turned out to be cove, and sly one
al that.
So she grew cold, and learning OF his
infdelity, she being a good member OF
the church, she forbade Mahlon her bed
oyster bed-and board.
Nothing can be sadder than to be dis
appointed In one we love. Alice no
doubt loved Mahlon devoutlT, but he
was not what she had thought him to be
or what he represented himself. Instead
OF being blue blood there was not even
a blue point about him. lie was just a
common cove oyster, and an inhdei at
that.
He fell In love with a member OF the
Goldfish aristocracy, and Mrs, Oyster at
once smelt mice lancashire humor).
He was the kind that one can get at 20
cents q can.
One little oyster II years old was the
result OF this union. His name was Pat
His schoolmates call him Oysters Patty.
That's because he's not popular IN the
school, for the reason that he puts on
too many escallOps.
Mrs. OYSTER has always been con-
sistent Christlan-a hardshell Baptist.
Hence his infdelity has caused her to
consider him a bad oyster.
She has put the matter in the courts,
and through the columns or the paper
she has given him a mock roast.
She says she may have been gooss,
but not of Oysters dressing. She claims
10 have maintained herself and Oysters
PATTY for over five years, and she has
decided not 70 be clam. She desires
absolute divorce from Mahlon and asks
also for aumony, TO be paid out OF his
celery. -,
How sad all this is to consIderl To
think that for years one is an oyster,
then to find that he has been SUCKER
But enough. ~
This reminds me somehoW-this hu-
NOR, on which I paid S. duty the
other day-of q lady acquaintance OF
mine who rose in the night last week,
and finding the room too warm opened
the window and held It open by means
Of a stick OF stove wood. a. prevent
burVlsrs entering tbs room without
ALARMING her She used stick that still
had the mart on IL.
I am recently INDUCING in nice new
smoking Jacket. 1t is gorgeous affair,
and I wear IL while lolhng about my