The Portland daily press., 1894-06-06
HAD A GOOD TIME.
Some Little Offsets, But They Didn't
Count.

Among the passengers going over on
one of the ferry boats yesterday after
noon was an old man with red, but
good -natured face, bald pate, with a
fringe of gray hair around it, and an
evident desire TO talk. Pretty soon he
selected his man and said: Ppm lust
goin' hum after bein' in Detroit fur two
weeks"
Have You enjoyed yourself?" was
asked in yeply.
ayes, fairly well, considerin' that I
had an attack OF collie four different
times, and that left knee has bothered
me with rheumatics. It's kind of a
queer place, though"
How queer?"
"Oh, wall, everybody is kinder coltish.
III bet that over forty fellers dug their
elbows into Inc and hustled me around,
and the boys sassed me in the most
dreadful manner. l was on the street
car and took some cough syrup out of a
bottle and everybody Uttered and gig
gled."
But you didn't mind it?n
OBJ! no, didn't. Pm kinder coltish
myself, and it takes heap to get me
nghJ1n' mad. | was on street car one
Gay where There was four or five wimmen
standlD' up. while about dozen men
were takin' it mighty comfortable.
Made me sort O. riled to see it, an /
got up an said: All the hogs will keep
right on sittin' down and chawin' ter
hacker, while all the gentlemen will git
up and let these wimmen folks sit
down! Wall, sir, as many as six of them
fellers offered to lick NE, and one of
them did haul off to crack at me. He'd
a hit me on the jaw, sure's you're born
if hadn't bristled right up to him and
got my jackknife out"
You talked to them just right"
Yes, guess did. Another time
was on car when Teller in wagon
Wouldn't git off the track The driver
he did more whistlin' than would call
my old dog. fur ten years, but the Teller
wouldn't git off. s5orter riled me to see
2 man actin SO pizen mean, and yelled
Look a here. mister, if you was a livin'
ont our way and showed your meanness
after this fashion you'd git ride on
rail quicken scat, and I'd be one to
help carry itl' Wall, sir, he jumps down
and was goin' to pull me off the plat
form, and he talked about smashin' my
jaw and breakin' my ribs till police
man walked him off,
Any other adventuresYn
wall, one evening Went up to a
policeman at the post office. He was
iookin' tired and sleepy, and 1 offered
to spell him fur couple of hours if he
wanted to go and take nap. What do
you think he did?n Come mighty nigh
arrestin' mel Said I was interferin' with
an oeicer I seen he was one of them
techy sort, and so I let him alone. Are
they all that way?"
"No. not ALL But then ne didn't
understand your motive probably"
Mother time" continued the old man,
met a policeman on the dock and
asked him if it didn't make him giddy
and upset his stomach to be SO high up
over the water, and he got mad in a
mint and squared off at me- Amt no
mortal use in anybody bein' so can
tankerous as all that"
But on the whole. you've had good
time, haven't your"
".on the hull I've had darned good
time fur an old man like me, and Pm a
carryin' hum over 'leven dollars wuth
o. presents to the familyi I've been
sassed and elbowed and I've come mighty
nigh havin' sabout six fights, but, on
the hull. it's all right, and Pm goin'
hum to do some of the talIest braggin'
you ever heard ofl"-De troit Free
Press.