Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1894-08-10
RUNNING TO TITLES.
Americans Are Getting Too Fond
of Handles to Their Names
Military officials Who Uave Never Per-
formed Any Field Service - some
OF the Absurdities OF an
Inane Practice,

In no place perhaps is the inclination
to afix titles to the names of public
men more prominent than in Washing
ton. where the fields of American life
have unriveled opportunities for devel-
opment The stock Of generals. colonies,
majors or judges who never saw service
IN the field or forum but who ere not at
all unfamiliar with practice at the bar
OF one sort or another, is unlimited, and
sometimes leads to confusion. amusing
or annoying as the case may be. In
most states, IL not in all, it is custom
airy for the governor TO surround him
self with military staff ranging from
general to captain. This is a custom
handed down from colonial days, when
the governor of a colony had his coun-
ell, the members of which in the militia,
congratulations Of the colony were CON-
manders of the forces in their respect
i've counties with the ti.le Of colonel.
AS miiitaryi.m declined it was perfectly
natural for the advisors of the governor
to inherit the military title. as a dis
junction from the mass of men who were
not thus honored with close friendship
with the executive. Later, under state
governments, the governors staff be-
came quite a feature in the life of poll
ties. Many worker for the success of
the ticket has been appeased by appoint
rnent TO place on the governors staff.
and has gone down to posterity with all
the glamor Of military title surround
ing him. 1t is not necessary for any
staff officer, with perhaps the exception
OF the adjUtant general, to have a par
ticle Of knowledge of military affairs
beyond adcptness in making a salute or
acknowledging one. But quite fire.
quently he has not even that At the
Washington centennial in New York
few years ago the streets were full of
brilliantly attired staff officers, and the
Washington Post thinks that the men
on guard duty who brought their guns
to present arms whenever a ranking Of
fcer hove In sight must have been high
ly amused at the questioning glance
given them by more than one of the
carpet knights as they walked or rode
past without acknowledging the salute.
As governors are frequently changed.
bay every four years, in forty-four
states, tAe possibilities in the way Of
the manufacture Of colonies and gem
erals are readily appreciated. Giving
each governor twenty staff officers and
aidS--a modest estimate-in twenty
years there would have been nearly five
thousand of such distinguished individ-
uals. and when To these are added those
who bear the titles becau5e their fathers
once had them, the number Is EXPANDED
much more. The constitution of the
staff, too, allows of 40 interchange Of
titles. The judge advocate general,
ranking as colonel, for instance, may be
called with propriety Judge, colonel or
general, and SO on through this list.
Other causes, however, contribute to
the list of titles. In a neigborirg city a
gentleman connected with the editorial
staff of newspaper had the distinction
TO quit the army ut the close of the war
as private. But under the luxuriating
influence Of newspaper work he &C
quired a portly frame, developed his
good comradeShip and gathered a col
lection of anecdotes and witticisms
which always made him a welcome adj
dition to any party out for fun. In an
evil hour one of his younger associates
called him colonel, and colonel he has
been ever since.
Not long ago, in a southern city, was
raised monument to q confederate
leader. One OF the newspapers pub
lished quite an attractive souvenir,
which, by request, was sent to Massa-
town for presentation to q
grand army post Along with the SOU
venir went a letter of the shake-hands-
across-the- bloody-chasm order from the
editor. The presentation took place
and the local papers had quite an &C
count of the event, including a repro
duction OF the patriotic letter. from
the southern editor, who was called
Ten. So-and-so. AS he had lust
turned thirty years the editor enjoyed
the joke on himself. In another city q
popular railroad official was never
called anything but general by one who
was frequently thrown with him. As .
the Official was quite a young man,
whose military record had never been
made, his friend was asked one day why
he gave him title and replied "why,
don't you know he is general passen.
ger agent?" These are but few of the
a osurdities outcropping from the insane
against which signs of protest
are becoming apparent.