The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-04-13
crack In The floor right under them. OF
course the carpet had been taken up. 90

'Ae<A AAN - G-%A AS1h4 w AN
1t came straight up at my feet. | hadn't
q very good assortment Of bedding.
Most of cur stuff had been sent over to
Wenner's warehouse. | had a sheet
folded lengthwise, in the form of one OF
those sleeping bags which explorers use.
Then | had an old blanket and for a COW
eTlet n Of a pair Of fine pourchairs.
At Q O'Clock | got up and secured the
other pourchair. They were still at
tached to the poles, but that was rather
an advantage than an Inconvenience. l
put the poles across under my head and
thus slightly increased the effective
length of the cot.
"a little after 2 l rose again and Sc
cured a fur rug. 1t was a tigers skin,
with the head of the beast on n corner
of it. There seemed to be some warmth
in that tigers skin, for | secured a little
sleep almost Immediately after spread
ing it over me. I had left the lamp
burning, for | thought it might warm
the room a little. Well, sir, as l say, /
slept a few minutes-just long enough
to dream that | was one of the early
Christian martyrs in the arena-and
then | awoke to find this tigers head,
with its cleaning, CLASSY eyes staring me
in the face. Say, what do you think 1
did? Iyelled so loud that the conclusion
put the light out. My wife and her sister
thought there were burglars in the
house. What did they do about it? l
don't know, but my opinion is that they
crawled into a pile of carpets and rugs
in the middle of their room and hid
there till morning.
LAS for me. the shock of my fright
made me shiver. And when | got oven
being frightened couldn't stop SILVER
ing. How could be cold with all those
things over me | couldn't understand,
but it was true. | arose and secured the
stair carpet. 1t went up and down me
FIVE times, | remember, but it didn't
raise my temperature II degree.
Then | made the important discov-
cry that it didn't make any difference
how much l had over me SO long as l
had only n layer of canvas under me
And the wind still whistled up through
the bare boards. | decided to put the
tigers skin over the cot and lie down
on it. Then a new inspiration came to
me. Why not go down and sleep in the
kitchen? Good idea! l picked up the
cot, the pourchairs, the fur rug and the
stair carpet and started for-the kitchen.
At the head of the back stairs / stepped
on the fringe of n of the pourchairs.
| e~ndeavored to step off it, but there
were five apertures in the fringe, and
each one of them had secured one of my
toes. Therefore l just calmly fell over
forward and slid down stairs, with the
cot as a toboggan.
II reached the kitchen in this easy
and unconventional manner and discov-
cred almost Immediately that the fire
had gone out. This is not what I had
fallen down stairs for. The kitchen was
perhaps a shade warmer than my room,
but it was cooling rapidly, and a kitch-
en- in the morning with no fire in it is
the coolest room in the house, as every
married man knows.
There wasn't any fuel at hand, but
between you and Inc I just had to have
some. There were two or three conven-
lent pieces of light woodwork which
belonged to my late landlord and not to
me. With these | kindled a fire, and
then ! broke up two of our kitchen
chairs and piled them in a handy spot.
My cot l placed close by the stove, SO
that could feed the fire without get
ting out of bed. There I lay and kept
her a-going with selections from my
furniture, till by and by I got really
warm and snug, and then I went to
sleep. The last things l remember put
ting in were the pouIcha1r poles.
"These brass balls are the ornamental
knobs from the ends of those poles.
They wouldn't burn, of course, and l
didn't dare to put them in the stove for
fear my wife would find them and sus-
pect me. So l simply unscrewed them
as l lay there with the intention Of
throwing them away at my leisure.
There ought to be one more"
Again he went through his pockets.
I'm afraid she's found it. If she
hasn't, l can make her believe that Wen
ner stole the poles and the kitchen chairs
and a few other things which l burned
that night. She'll believe anything of
him nov But, say, wasn't it all her
fault?"
I was forced to stifle my chivalrous
instincts and admit that it was.
"She sent the beds away, didn't she?
Of couree, and all that happened was in
consequence of that one piece Of blank
ETY. blank foolishness. Well, what do
you think2 Have you followed my
story? Have you got an idea of how
much walking around l did in my robe
der nooit. as the French say, on that
interesting occasion? 1t was enough to
kill a man. But she says-stay! Are
you a married mani"
81 am"
"Then maybe you'll believe my story.
She says l got this cold playing bill
lizards. Winters Magazine.
Bacon For Song Birds.
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