davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
HUMOROUS.

What is the correct English of it:
Do you collect a bill or collect debit
1.-The English of it is you can't do either
just now.'-N. Y. Press.
-Romaunt-"O. wad some power the
giftic gle us to see ourselves as ithers
see u.s." Gamscy-'I don't know. 1t
strikes me solitaire poker would be
rather slow.'-Detroit Tribune.
-She-''Dcarcst, suppose you didn't
love me nearly as lnucl, as you do now,
would you marry mee" He-''You bet
would. You don't know how much
think of your father.''-N. y. Herald.
Charlie Sniffers (out with Dolly
Dimple)-''Pardon me for bowling to
that shabby old codger, but I feel
obliged to do it, Dollie-s.Who is he,
Charlie?'' Charlie-''He is the head of
our firrn.'-Spare Moments.
Indignant Old Lady-''Your boys
are constantly throwing apples at peo-
er-''Why should I: We have plenty
of them this year. ''-Fliegendc Batter.
Located by Elimination.-AIrs.
Quillpin-''I have every reason to be-
iicve that my husband is a genius. -
Fricnd-''What makes You think so?"
Mrs. Quillpin-"Well. he certainly isn't
anything else."-Truth.
$50 you think you have a plan to
get rid of your rival:'' Yes ..What
is it? Going to have him sandbagged
or assassinated - BETTER than
that-I've persuaded him to Join foot
ball team. Atlanta Constitution.
-Reu Observation-Disclosures. will you give
me cent to buy a nice big green APP
p1eo' Mamma-''No, Reuben: green
Reuben-''1'hcn. mamma, give me the
cent, please, and I will buy a red one
Press Siftings.
-s'Wouldn't yer like to be a musi-
| cian?' asked Flooding Pete. II used
to think would replied Meandering
! Mike. 'But ] oncet heard man say
| they was something about strilxin' a
chord in music, an I lost all heart fur
it. 1t reminded me too much of an ak
| and a woodpilc. ''-Waslington Star.
The Wifc-'.O, please don't go out,
dear The Husband-''I don't want
| to go out, but thought would take a
| run downtown for half an hour: the
my wife's apron string The W.
SWELL. what harm is, there in that? Is
it wrong for a husband to be attached
to'his wife?'-N. Y. Press.
| Willie heard some wonderful mu.
sic on the street one day, and ran home
| to tell his mother about it. 'There
was a man with a fiddle he said, land
another man who had a big thing with
a lot of strings on it, and every time
he pinched it, it squealed." It re-
| 1uired special investiga ton to dis.
| cover that Willie had seen a man play
ing on a harp."-Harper's Bazar
Mrs. Gush isn't it awfu1o This
paper says that there's poor family in
Blind alley actually starving to death.
shan't sleep a wink tonight thinking
| Of the poor creatures. I'll carry them
a cook book the very first thing in the
morning Mr.. Gush-'.But, my dear,
| they probably haven't a thing in the
| house to cook Mrs. 9ush-''Do you
think SO? That must be SO nice! wisl,
almost every day of my life that there
! was no such thing as cooking. Do you
know, John. you've taken world Of
anxiety eff my mind!''-Roaton Tran
0cript.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
.ENLlGHTEN M ENT

enables the moro advanced
and Conservative Sur.
Reon8 of to-day to euro
many diseases without cut
ting, which were formerly
regarded as incurablc with
out resort to the knife.
RUPTURE or Breach. is
now radically cured with:
out tho knife and without
pain. Clumsy TruseeS can
be thrown away!
broid SGteTine ) and many
others, are now removed
without the pcrils OF cut
S vi g'sTFSSsM! q|sssa,,. as and
other diseases of the lower
bowel, arc permanently
cured without pain or re.
sort to tho knife.
STONE In the Bladder, no
matter how large, fS crush
ed, pnlverized. washed out
and perfectly removed
without cutting.
For pamphlet, references
and all particulars. send 10
cents Gin stampS to Worlds
Di0pcnDafy Medical Aeoo-
citation, No. $50 Main Street,
Buffalo. N. Y.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
THE FERTILIZER INDUSTRY,
It 10 an IndispeDsable A junct to Success
ful FARMING.

It IL an Indispensable Adjunct to Success
full Farming.
l hesitate about discussing the neccs-
sity of the fertilizer industry, but there
may be some who, while admitting the
general proposition that a restitution
of the elements of plant food should
accompany the steady depletion which
continued cropping entails. have not
considered the extent of the drain
that enormous waste which even now
the utmost energies of the trade in com
mcrcial manures can not compensate
for. Centuries of harvesting in the
ancient grain-producing countries of
the world have reduced the original
stock of assimflable phosphoric acid to
. point where the cereals may no
longer be prof3tably cultivated. A
naturel recuperation. if possible, in
wolves cycles of time. Nations recover
from the effects of disastrous and
eanguinary warfare, but no human en-
DURANGO can Withstand widespread
sterilisy in the land. The population
must seek other and more fertile
regions or be doomed to abject poverty
or slow extinction. Man is essential
ly squanderer of phosphoric
acid. To his agency, pre-eninent-
~. may be ascribed its exhaus-
ton in the soil. The greater part of
this precious ingredient which centers
so largely into his own frame and the
composition of his food, as also of the
animals. subservient to him, is allowed
to flow into the sea, where, at the
greatest depths of ocean dredging, it
has been discovered, apparently now
building new phospha tic deposits. some
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
PERsoNAL AND LlTERARv.

PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
The London ..speaker,. says that
Mr.. j. n. Barrie il not hurrying over
the completion Of his new novel. and
that it will probably be near the end
OF next year before its serial Publicsr
ton begins. The Same journal states
that DIR. Conan Doyle has another his
torical noval Tar advanced.
Judge David McAdams. Of New
York, is one Of the founders of the
Thirteen, or Anti-Superstition club.
He makes . point of walking under
ladders, beginning enterprises ON .
Friday. winking at q new moon over
his left shoulder and in practical
mathematics favoring the mineral b.
IT. b. Aldrich says he will write
"reminiscences. t.Perhaps.'' he is re.
ported to have said, sit will develop
into a large volume, for saw Wash.
ington Irving once on broadway when
/ was a boy, and that will make my
narrative begin almost with the del
uge."
Hon. James Black, of Lancaster,
Pa. left an estate valued ut $50
O0o His will has already been adj.
mitted to probate. Hc bequeaths ST..
600 and his large collection of temper.
ance literature to the National Tenn
perance Society and Publication House
in New York. and $500 to the national
prohibition party.
Emperor William of Germany il
q milkman and cheesemonger. Fol
lowing the example of many English
and French noblemen. he sells the milk
and other dairy products OF his Fots.
dam farm to ywhomsoeyer will buy al
market rates. To his credit he always
gives good measure and there is nc
water in the milk.
The following good story is told OF
two men widely known in literature
Charles Dudley Warner lives in Hart
ford, next door to Mark Twain, upon
whom he called one day and invited
him to q walk. The humorist was in
clined to refuse the invitations, where
upon Warner cited scriptural authority
in support of his request quoting Mat
thew, w., Al: "And whatsoever shall
compel thee to go a mile, go with him
Twain
Prof. John Tyndall's father was g
shoemaker in an Irish village and lived
in very humble style. occupying room.
in the rear of his small shop. But like
many old-timC cob,lers, he had more
than a share of learning, and was witty
and sarcastic in argument. His SO.
was sent to the local grammar school
and one of his old chums there was NJ
G. Hcnncssey, now Rochester shoe
manufacturer. He says that young
Tyndall was an effeminatc boy, who
gave little promise OF living to be sew
enty-three years Of
OF the difficulties under vhic!
Francis Parkman labored Mr.. Juliu.
II. Ward says in the Forum '''1'ht
Oregon Trail was dictated to his com
panion among the savages. and all hi:
| other volumes were dictated to a mem
her of his family. who prepared their
for the press When asked to be al
lowed to see his manuscripts, he re
piled: Il have none He could MOI
| bear the strain of writing, and it wa:
only with the utmost care and secln
sion from excitement that he coulC
| work at all. For half century he
| lived life of depressed activity uhes<
| arc his own words). having his mine
| wholly unimpaircd but unable to use
it beyond a certain limit, on the penal
ty of having il taken away from him
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
Don't be . slave

Don't 6e o SIaVO
To the absurd notion that tyrannizes many
minds, that violent drastic purgatives viii
cure you of costiveness. In reality they
only S1grayate your ailment. For this OBJ
stinate trouble, as for biliousncss and dys.
pepsia. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters Is an a al
guard against malaria, and cures rheuma-
tisu, in;ction Of the kidneys and nervous
ness.
81 WISH you wouldn't be asking me Tor
money all the tilne,'' growled the husband.
ssI'm not DEAR responded the wife, sweet
" ssPart of the time is occupied in spend
ing it.''-Detroit Free Press.
"BRowN's BRONCHIAL TRocnEs' are ex-
cellent for the relief of Hoarseness or Sore
Throat. ',-Chrtstidm Word, London, England.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

One asks whether this may be done
now. In answer will state that pre-
fer doing it on mild days after mid
winter. My pruning of the peach trees
is usually done when near in blossom,
at which time do the heading back.
One can then tell bow many blossoms
are left and can cut back short or long
to have a crop of fruit. The wood of
most trees have ripened their wood
we'll here. and axe in fine order to go
into winter quarters.-Rural World.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
Sheep Notes.

a granted flock will shear about
two pounds more wool per head tEan
a poorly-fed one.
Change sheep from one pasture to
another as often as you can.
Clover is good for the sheep and for
the farm. Cut when first in bloom.
Don't let it dry up.
Fifty sheep is the highest number
for one flock to De profitable.
Mixed pastures are best for sheep.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

MAUDE-s'Our engagement is a secret. "
Lena-''So vcrybody tells me.'-Broolllyn
Lii
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

WE believe that an Italian who should
start out with Il noiseless hand organ would
make money.-Texas Siftings.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

CHECK Colds and Bronchitis with Hale's
Honey of Borehound and Tar.
Pixies ToothachcD Drops Cure in one minute.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

TIE reason women don't appreciate the
telegram at half it's value is that q post
script cannot be added without extra charge.
Texas Siftin&S.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
Cannot be Cured

by local applications, they cannot reach
the diseased portion of theear. There is only
one way to cure Deafn ess, and that is bycon-
stitutional remedies. Deafness iscaused by
an inflamed condition of the mucous lining
of tho Eustachian Tube. When this tube
gets inflamed you have rum bling sound or
imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely
closed Deafness is the result, and unless the
restored to its normal condition, hearing will
be destroyed forever; nine cases out Of ten
are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but
an infiamed condition of the mucous sur
faces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness Caused by catarrh) that
cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
Send for circulars, free.
r. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists. 1:,c.
Halls Family Pills, p cents.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

WIEN burglar asks the conundrur'
s'Where's your money!" it is generally the
vlsest plan to give it up.-Lifc.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

MopEsT.-Tramp-t'The world owes me a
living Citizen-''Well, I'm not the world.
Get out!''
TIE pawnbroker never gets so old that he
takes no interest in life.-Boston Transcript.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
Gardeninx tor 1894.

Ono of the first things to TO now il
to supply oneself with a number OF
scedsmen's catalogues. Write them,
and they will send you. descriptive
catalogue. The long winter nights
may be given to examining these and
thus determining what to plant Usu-
ally one can find seed store. in towns
near by where they can get such seed
as they want, and in case one does not
live near enough town where seeds
of good quality arc kept. they can
order direct from the seedmen by
mail, inclosing money to pay for
them. 1t is better to do this
than to bup the cheap trash sent
out every year on commission. aud put
into every house that will allow them
room. No matter how we'll the ground
is prepared or how rich the soil. unless
good seed is planted failure is certain.
No one can ford to buy seed because
they are cheap. Buy only the best,
even if it costs a little more. It is often
too ate to mend the matter after bad
seed arc planted. They may come up
all right, but we don't know till time
of fruitage that we have made a mis-
take. The only way to avoid this is to
purchase the seed sent out by RESPONSE
BILE seedmen. Farmer.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

.noenlsr ana otheral - = replacement %
old animal TOXINS
DshefAin has valued the phosphorio
acid annually contained In the solid and
mud OBJECTIONS OF the French popular
tiOn (thirty-six million souls) 1t nearly
$1,000, 600. Johnson has calculated that
the liquid manuxes carried or each day
by tho sewers of London would for
tilizc near 90, 600 acres Of sterile land,
and thus might support 135, 600 individ-
uals for one year.
DelaEarde has calculated the annual
waste of plant food in rural France At
the enormous sum Of 500, 600, 900. that
being the commercial value of the ma-
terial adequate to replace the dissi-
pated Ingredients.
China offers an example to the world
| In tho care with which all animal re-
| mains and man0res are restored to the
| soil. 1t is unqucstionaOly due to this
economy that its territory can support
two human beings to the acre. In some
Of it's provinces the ratio is greater. as
| in PelSin and Tchenlkou, where ono acre
| subsists six to eight
| If faecal matter We're saved in France
! to the extent of 20 per cent. more than
| is now the case, it should not be COM
peeled to import in some years SIC, OOO.-
600 worth Of grain; it might, on the
contrary. export nearly $50, Oo0, 900
worth per annum. (Bobierre.) The
| use of domestic manure extends back
| to the earliest times in much the snme
manner and to the Same effect as at
! present, and yet it has not proven ted
| the exhaustion of many fertile lands
nor avcrted the gradual decline in pro-
ductivencss of European end other
lands now cultivated for q long PEE
| riod.-Charles n. Shepard, In South
| ern Cultivator.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03
COMING sPa,no FASHIONS.

PICTURE hats much rs last years
were.
B1oUeEs nnd sillk waists not unlike
last years.
Losa coats and pelisses Of cloth
reaching to the ground.
MUCH use of gold embroidery. gold
frctworlf. gold passemcntcrie.
INCREASING use of sprigged and fig
ured silks as the season advances
SHADES of brown and tan and all
the warm reddish tones for early spring
use.
Much use Of white and light lace in
combination with evca tho most SOM
Der of materials.
For evening use pink in the pa1er
tints, in harmony with the brown
tones or in contrast with greens and
grays.-Ellen Osborn.
ZIG g,us. . Lbs. Oats from Ono Bus. Seed.
This remarkable, almost nnheard-of.
yield was reported to the John A. Sal
ger Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis, by Frank
Winter, of Montana, who planted one
bushcl OF Great Northern Oats, care
fully titled and irrigated same. and be-
lieves that in 1894 IL can grow from ono
bushel of Great Northern Oats three
hundred bushels. It's a wonderful oat
20 sorts field corn, yielding 80 to 13a
bushels per acre.
If YOU WILL CUT THIS OUT AND SEND II
with Sc postage to the above firm you
will receive sample package of above
oats and their farm seed catalogue. III
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-03-03

ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO., NETWORK.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-14
LOCAL MENTION.

Melissa B. Alexander has applied to
the district court for a divorce from her
husband, Robert T. Alexander
James W. Waters, aged II years, died
of dropsy yesterday at his home, S34
East Eighth street. The funeral oc-
CURED today
have elected Prof. A. s. Olin, formerly
City, Kas.. to the chair of assistant pro-
fessor of the chair of pedagogy.
Probate Judge Elliott this afternoon is
sued a marriage license to Alva c. Shinn
and Laura NJ Grail They are members
of the Church of God and will be mar
ried by the pastor of that church to-
night
Westbound trains have been packed to
the guards yesterday and today. This is
the last day the cheap California rate is
effective. The rate mas been $50 90 for
the round trip, or $40 one way. Now the
old rate is restored of $65.50 for the
round trip, or $50 one way.
Col. R. J. Hinton. whose John Browns
book is soon to be issued from the press
of Funk & Wagnall's, New York, has
given the State Historical society proof
prints of some of the portraits and fac
SMILES which are to appear in the book:
two of John Brown. and many other well
known Kansas pioneers; fac similes of
poems by William ID. Howells, Edna
Dean Proctor, and Edmond G. Steadman,
and of the commission of George b. Gill
as secretary of the treasury in accord
ance with the provisions of John Browns
provisional constitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-14
GEN. SLOCUM DEAD.

Alter a Weeks Illness with Pneumonia
the End Came This Morning.
New YORK, April 14.-Gen- Henry
w. Slocum died at his residence in
Brooklyn, after about weeks illness of
pneumonia.
Gen. SIocum had been i'll only few
days, and death was not expected. Just
before 6 o'clock last night he suddenly
began to sink.
At IL o'clock he fell into sleep, which
continued three quarters OF an hour. A
few minutes before midnight he awoke
and spoke to his family. At 2:05 per
fectIy conscious of his approaching end,
he died a painless death. Immediately
after, the house was closed, the tele-
phone muffled, and no information at all
given out OF the generals death until af-
ter o'clock this morning.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-14
ARE THEY COMING.
Two of the Biggest Railroads
in the West,
May Build Into Topeka Within
the Year.
BOTH ARE MOVING.
Alton and Burlington Want the
Kansas Business.
AnAir Line Between Topeka and
Kansas City Proposed.

Two of the strongest railroad systems
in the west have their eyes on Topeka
and it is easily within the range of the
possible that they will both be running
their trains direct from Chicago into To-
peka before long.
These two railroads are the Chicago,
Burlington and Quincy and the Chicago
and Alton.
Both of these roads have been anxious
to get into Kansas ever since the Rock
Island built into this territory. Their
jealousy for the Rock Island and
their fear that the Santa Fe
may at any time break its traffic
arrangement with them and refuse
to pool with them on eastern business. If
the Santa Fe should do this and assist on
carrying all the freight from Kansas
lines into Chicago over its own lines the
Burlington and the Alton would suffer
heavily and would be forced to build
into Kansas in order to protect them
selves.
What Harrison Said.
To STATE JOURNAL reporter today
Mayor L. w. Harrison said: when L
was in Kansas City a few days ago,
had long talk with some railroad in
vestors who were making inquiries about
Topeka. They told me that they are
and have been for some time contem-
plating the building of air line
railroad between Kansas City and Topeka
to be, at its completion, turned over to
either the Burlington or Alton, either
road they said would jump at the chance
of purchasing such line already con-
structed-
They said they could place all the
railroad bonds necessary to build new
lines of railroad through any good coun-
try, and they considered an air line be-
tween Topeka and Kansas City, the most
desirable road now in process of con-
struction.
1T is true that the Santa Fe and Union
Pacific roads both have short lines into
Kansas City; both roads have a mileage
of about 66 or 81 miles between those
points. A much shorter road could be
built however. The Rock Island few
years ago made a survey, shortening the
route about six or seven miles. They
proposed to cross the river twice, and run
north OF Lawrence directly into Kansas
City.
sfThese gentlemen 1 talked with are
railroad investors, and they know what
they are talking about.
ESHhe Burlington seems anxious to get
into Kansas as is shown by their building
their new steel bridge across the Mis-
souri, river at Leavenworth They did
not build that bridge simply to get into
Leavenworth and they did not build 1t
for other roads to use.
eff the Burlington pushes on to Tope-
ka from Leavenworth over the line of
the old Southwestern, there is little doubt
but that the Alton would not be slow in
coming into the capital of Kansas over
the proposed Kansas City and Topeka air
line.
Topeka should encourage the build
ing of these roads"
The extension of these two lines of
trunk road into Kansas would not be
considered blessing at Kansas City, as
it would no doubt result in the destruc-
ton of the Missouri river as re- billing
point and would enable Topeka mer
chants to get as good freights rates from
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-14

tions between the parties other facts
were not to be considered It was only
a question whether a contract to marry
existed and whether If broken there
was an excuse for breaking it. The
verdict was not to vindicate the charac-
ter of either party. Although if the tes-
timony unfit to be reviewed. it was
to be said. to the credit of both parties
that they handed in delicate details as
carefully and decently as possible
Nearly all of the counsel had observed
the same restraint and he regretted that
this could not be said OF all the counsel.
Here all eyes were turned toward Phil
Thompson.
Any revolving standards of manhood
which had been set up were not to be
weighed as evidence, nor were collateral
details to be allowed to obscure the main
iSSue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-14
RECEIVERS STAY IN.

Judge jenkins Decides Adversely the
Petition Filed.
MILWAUKEE, April 14.-Judge Jenkins
this afternoon handed down his decision
on the petition of certain of the Northern
Pacific stockholders to remove the re-
ceivers.
The Judge dismisses the petition as to
Messrs. Payne and Rouse As to Dir.
Oakes, the petition will be retained for
the purpose of an investigation of the
Rocky Fork Commercial company mat
ter, which will be referred to a master to
be named later on.