The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-04-28
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Interiors.--SheQ looking around the
room)-"What lovely interior decora-
tons" He Cooking over the table,
Delightful, am sure. ''-D,troit Free
Press.
81 notice Miss Footlights has se-
cured her fourth divorce" "Great
Scott! didn't know she was really
considered great actress Inter
Ocean. f
--.'Do you think those shoes are
worth mending?" We'll, vas; il zole
tenn and put new uppers on tenn. The
strings are still goot"-Harlem Lifts.
Aunt Mary-'I hope, Carrie, you
never tell your husband his faults"
Carrie-"Mercy! no, aunt. I shouldn't
know where to begin. boston Tran
script.
Miss Antique-"Td like to see any
man try to kiss me.' Miss Sweetley-
II have no doubt you would Bat you
shouldn't be SO bold as to admit it!'--
Boston Traveller.
-Muggins--"Doy you believe in the
theory that there is place for every
thing?" Buggins-"Yes; when the cook
at my clearinghouse makes hash
Philadelphia Record.
First Samoan Belle-"What horri-
BILE instincts those Christian women
must have" Second Samoan Belle
"Why. dear?'' 81 am told that they
actually wear live lizards for orna-
ments. indianapolis Journal
Poor Mrs. Oftenwe1 is perfectly
heartbroken over her husbands DEATH"
Mrs. Hithard--"No wonder, poor dear.
Just think. it will be whole year be-
fore she can try to catch another hus-
band. Inter Ocean
An uptown man. who used to keep
a cigar store, recently went into the
butter business. He rather staggered
his first customer by asking If he
would have it medium. mild, or
strong. "-Philadelphi Record.
Overheard at the table OF Spruce
street boarding house.-Old Boarder-s
This soup has many sins to answer
for" New Boarder-"Yes; but should
say they were principally sins of omis-
sion. "-Philadelphia Record.
-'Tf you don't behave yourselves"
said the king of the Cannibal islands.
addressing some of his unruly subjects,
Il will make request to have ship
load of missionaries sent here to re-
form YOU" ''Ha! ha! ha!' laughed
the recalcitrants, that would just be
meat for us."-N. Y. Press.
-Ethel-''Why, Maude! You have
spelled lots of words wrong" Maude
(typewriter) Cant help it. l took it
down just exactly as Mr.. Knibbs die
tated it." Ethel--"But, surely, he
didn't stop to spell the words out to
you?" Maude-'Of course not. But
Pm familiar with his style of orthog-
raphy."-Boston Transcript.
eve can't have any more theologi-
cal students on our football team"
said the captain. "Why not?" ''Partar
lost us the last game. When Biffies of
the other team hit him on the left
cheek, he stopped playing until Biffies
had struck the ther."-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
-Bobby-"Pop. what has giraffes got
such long neclxs for?" Fond Parent
God gave them their long neclxs SO
that they could reach the leaves of the
palm, which only grow at the top Of
the tree. That is the only way they
can get at them" Bobby latter a
he have made the
leaves grow lower DOWN."
NO" said Farmer Corntossers
wife; flame amt fur everybody.
There Josiar. He done his best. but
he never will git famous" What was
his ambition?' Ter git his picter in
the paper. He set up nights tryin' ter
think of some ailment ter take patent
medicine fur, bat he was SO over
powerin' healthy that they wusn't
single thing fur i'm ter git cured OFF,
WASHINGTON Star.