Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1894-09-28
WORSE THAN EVER.
The Attempt to Reform the
Goat is Futile.
He Returns to the Association of
Improper Dogs and lnVadeS
Democratic Headquarters.


The attemp pied reformation OF the
Fire Department goat has ended in
ignoble failure. They let him go too
long. Previous to the movement for
his regeneration he had. been guilty OF
no other offenses against himself and
society than seeking improper associa
ton. evincing growing disposition to
quartelsomeness and other unimportant
indiscretions.
For few days after his apparent re-
generation he seemed to be a different
goat. He Stunned his old associates
and stood around meditatively and ap-
peared to be engaged in penitential re-
flections upon his wasted career. The
fire department hailed this as an evil
deuce that the work in his behalf had
been efficac1ous and he was admitted
further into the affections of the men,
bers.
A week ago he began his second
descent. He again sought the COM
partnership of low caste dogs and in
TWO days was worse goat and bigger
nuisance than he had ever been. He
continued to descend ana began to de-
yelop Democratic tende ncies and fire.
guent the committee headquarters on
Wall Street. Pretty much everything
is made to feel at home there and the
goat was taken in in not quite the same
sense though that the candidates had
been. 1t was not supposed by the COM
mittee that he could aid the ticket in
any way but they thought he would
increase the numerical strength at the
headquarters and lend sort of dignity,
besides he might afford fun to the
hangers-on about the place. 1t didn't
cost anything to keep him; he was not
an epicure and they began feeding him
campaign literature.
He had been browsing for months on
door screens, empty cans and rocks of
volcanic origin, but he had never be-
fore struck any thing quite so rocky as
the new bill of fare set before him. He
ehoked on a Gazette editorial in which
it was stated that the woollen schedule
in the new tariff law had increased the
price of sheep and wool, had reduced
the price to the consumer of clothing
had raised the wages of factory opera
tives and sheep shearers, herders, etc.,
and would eventually produce benef-
cent result upon manufacturers and
consumers of cotton, silk and other
textile fabrics. In time, the Gazette
thought, that under the woollen scned.
ule, silver might be coined without
limit at ratio that would please every
body and the government might come
into control OF the tran-scontinental
railroads.
The goat spit the paper containing
this editorial up and started out to get
his dinner at heap of refuse in the
rear of Frakes' livery stable. Members
of the committee induced him to stay
by offering him copy OF last Satur-
days Review. He ate of it sparingly,
but before he knew it, he swallowed
seven of the eleven certified sheets, pur-
porting to be an expose of the proceed
lngs of the loan commission, and some
other indigestible matter. Then there
was, indeed, sick goat.
That animal is naturally wise and
quick to acquire information in the
school of experience. No more cam
paign documents for him. He liked
the crowd he was in, but couldn't stand
the feed.
At last the other Democrats went
away and left the goat in possession of
the headquarters. The goat whiled
away the lonely interim between their
going and their coming by eating some
of the smaller flags with which the
place is decorated.
The big American banner which
ornaments two sides of the reception
room was just beginning to fade away
when somebody came in and separated
flag and goat. The new convert to
Democracy was thrown out and the
matter was reported to, Chairman
Williams. He appointed sub-com-
mittee of sergeants-at-arms to act in
turn in keeping the goat cut.
AS REPUBLICAN reporter was pass
ing the place yesterday afternoon the
goat tried to break in past Henry Nor
gan who stood him off with heavy
cane saying, "You keep away, we don't
want you around here" Some of the
other sergesnts were more violently re-
pellant and tried to outrage the feelings
Of the goat by the use of profane and
abusive language. The goat slept on
the steps last night and will be the first
Democrat on the ground when the
headquarters are thrown Open this