The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1894-11-29
UP SALT RIVER.

1
cratic Friends the Benefit of His Expert
ence.
Hon. Charles T. Caldwell, who 1t will
be remembered was the Republican
candidate for Congress in the Fourth
district in 1892, and was victim Of the
Democratic landslide Of that year, pub
lishes the following in the Parkersburg
State Journal for the benefit Of West
Virginia Democrats who have recently
sustained defeat:
am advised, by the public journals.
that Judge Harvey. late Democratic
candidate for Congress, has chartered,
from Major Frey. Of "Iniun Gnyan,"
the old Salt river due.out, on which we
Republicans took flying excursion up
the ancient saline bayou, just two years
ago. cordially approve the deal. and
inasmuch as the judge is personal
friend OF mine, sympathize with him
now, more than / did week or 80 ago.
I send him my charts and map Of the
route with my dairy as guide book,
He can proftabIy peruse it at his leisure
during the trip.
FIRST DAYS OUTING.
Left the pier after night. Used dark
lanterns. No noise, mot a funeral
note was heard The first landing
place OF any size in is Guy-ville. Here
The inhabitants will turn out en- masse,
properly uniformed en- masque, with
tin horns and transparencies appropri-
ate to the occasion, such as: "Rads got
you." "Mistits." fought to be kan
groo and jump in" "Ain't you glad
you're liven?" keep of the grass"
"Your party needs fumigatjng."
whats the matter with your face ?"
pigs in clover" Stock law in force. "
And many other equally inspiring and
encouraging matters.
REMoRsEvtLLE
is just below "Might-Have- Ben.Dam."
This is tough place. Every house is
painted blue inside aud out. The 1ndi-
60 Mines are near by. The only re-
deeming feature OF this place is ito ex-
clusiveness. No one will bother you,
There is no music, no laughter, no
smiles. 1t has an obsequies air which
only impresses one with the poetical
truth of chow vain are all things here
below" Your stay in this place will
not be long. Before reaching this
place, however, you will be in semi
conscious state, partially restored by
the exhilirating reception at Guy-town.
You will begin to recognize your
friends and relatives and realize the
fact that you have left your wallet and
something else at home, or "lost it on
the way"
| REsoLUTIoNvILLE.
| Here you will register, reform and
swear off running for Office and take n
solemn obligation you will never be-
lieve another man on earth, whether
he be on oath or off oath.
| jug SHOALS.
The next place is Jug Shoals. Here
YOU will find plenty OF company and
sympathy. 1t is noted campingground
and historical biyouac OF defeated po-
litical tourists. The older inhabitants
are all Democrats; they located the
borough away-back.
BY the time you land at the town at
the head waters, called the Last Settle.
ment OF the Mohicaus," you will be
ready TO offer thanks to an All Mighty
Providence that he has, by special dis
pensation, shown you, as he has shown
many, many oil us. that you once were
afflicted with alteration OF mind or hal
lucination Of things in general, and on
| public exhibition at your own expense.
1 am familiar with the old salt
river scow," with brick chimneys and
rubber boilers, also with the old crew.
Major Frey is good pilot, but poor
purveyor, except after night, although
he knows moonshine from magnolia
balm aud corn pone from pepsin gum.
Tell Harvey they will not keep him
in the strong room but a few days. |
was confined thirty.six hours in 1892,
until l quit making noises, !. e..
speeches, and seeing things mot Con-
gress) at night.
OF course on his return home from his
exile he will be thoroughly reformed.
His old friends and neighbors will SEQ
he intends to do better in the future
and will take him back into their So
ciety and confidence. He will bo re-
nnid in the future by the fact that the
thing OF torture" he enjoyed for the
sake OF representing the people that
didn't want him in Congress, has its
mouth wide open for another congress
sional crop which will be ripe in tho
"sweet by and by" when We shall again
meet at the "river, the beautiful, beau
tiful river" At the next regular meet
ing OF tho "Great American Congress
sional Misft Society,"" as chairman OF
the committee on credentials, | will
| malcona Mr. Horvav intn nur nFdnr