The Washington times., 1894-07-22
POETS POTENT PLEADING.
How Bryan Burns Used the Muse to Keep
Him Out Of Jail.

How Bryan Burns Used the Muse to Keep
Him Out of Jail.
A New York correspondent Of THE TIAzs
sends the following amusing report OF case
in the Tombs police court recently.
Brvan Burns was charged before Justice
Duffy with being drunk and noisy In a
house on Baxter street, and it was also init
mated of him by the complainant t1as ne
x-as in ali probability "a little cracked"
Mr. Burns was considerably out at the
tnees and elbows, and his shirt seemed as ii
IL ought to be the two Identical napkins,
sa,rsd toyether. which belonged to the second
,oost fortunate of Sir John Falstafs country
troopers a., ,..,,
MIS-. Donovan, the complainant, Is little
woman who keeps one OF those "hoie,ln-tne.
walr' sbapties which purport to sell the best
of GOOD Uouor at s cents a glass. and it ap-
nasred in evidence that Mr.. Burns had ven
tured no further in her favor, for when sne
BEGAN To remind him of the rs cents glass
mart of the ceremony he went into a piaze OF
indirnation and let the arrows oil his wrath
fiv around like q feu de joie OF Chinese
rockets. xx
"In faith. your honor, ;" continued Mrs.
ont story of her woes, she drank me brandy
rid az little conjunction as If 1t was notnin
but dishwa.er, for the divil sup oil pint
an, haIf he Ief, behind him to sarve another
customer" .
Jnstice Duffy-Did he take it by force!
s.Musha. no. yer homer. but he wint on like
a playactor until I thought he was risin tne
diyil. an bad luck to me II 1 WASH aiearu 10
sav single word, until the sorrow dhrop
was left in the bottle In thruth, yer homer. II
he's not a witch, or divil. or sometnin In
that line T think he MIST be out OF his sIvln
senses" -,
this business, Burns!
Burns
81 say. my lord, as quick as winking,
The Ilquor wasn't worth the drinRing'
And charge the hag have my eyes on,
With selling drug that's worse than poison
"Arrah. now. yer honor, darlint. that 8 the
xav he wint on all the time he was drink1n'
IN all me beautiful brandy wldout payin lor
il ~ said Mrs Donovan; then to the prisoner
in n threatening attitude: "Jabez, ye biack-
guard, if We call me a haR again III smasn
yer ugly mug into smithereens.
Burns
"Beware, good woman, say not so,
And vell be friends before we go:
Though much fear your liquor horrid
win bore a hole out through my forehead"
"Tbe divil moind ye or anybody that
snakes in such an outlandish language as
that Yer honor, darlint, do ye think IT'S
cracked wild larnin' he is or has he got 1t all
out iv bog?"
Justice Dufy-what are you, Burns2
Burns
"a man, my lord. from hat to shoe,
Flesh, blood and bones; the same as you"
Justice Duffy-I mean what's your business?
Burns
INV business, Bah! scorn the name,
My business is to seek for fame;
The muses., sir, are my delight,
WOO them all from morn till night
Comet Sweet Urania, heavenly maid
oh comei to thine own Burns aid"
mo humbugging, sir. How do you get
your bread?"
Burns
sMy bread. sir? Oh, my answers ripe;
live on suction like a snipe-
mean a woodcock-but you know
The rhyme says snipe; 50 let it &C"
"Giye over rhyming, sir, and tell me plainly
where do you ive?"
Burns
"when the sun Is bright and hos
All around / sock my lot;
Loiling in soquestered nook,
Listening to the bubbling brook,
Or. scorning blanket, sheet or rug
Snoszing III the park so snug.