The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1894-09-07
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.


married TO a handsome young fellow
she met at Bar Harbor last year bu
there was a cruel misunderstanding
May What was it? Minnie-H,
understood her father had money!
Puck.
Gent-Where were you employed
last ? Man Servant--At q writing
masters. Gent-What were you re
quired to do? Man Servant-I had
to keep shaking the table when 4
new pupil wrote the words: "This
is my handwriting before commenc.
ing to take lessons. ."-Ulk.
BaboOnY Me boy, you look as il
you had just stepped out Of fashion
plate. Crinkleton-That so =? ]
knew | had rheumatism, but didn't
know | was as stiff as that l.-Ex.
Bicycle Item: f'Iaura writes from
home that she has bought a wheel, "
said Mrs. Figg to the aunt with whom
she is spending the summer. "Tm
glad to hear that the old fashion is
coming in again." said tho old lady.
81 allow I'll have to como up and
teach her how to spin. ."-Cincinnati
Tribune.
Mother (to suitoO No, l can nev-
er give you my daughter. | have
quite made up my mind. Suitor-
Then am doubly disappointed. /
vowed that | would have a lovely
wife and young-looking mother-in-
law. Mother-Well, er-you may
call again. may change my mind.
Burlington Gazette.
McNab treated the family to fan
tasla OH the bagpipe, and when he
had concluded he looked around with
honest pride and remarked: "Eh,
mon, but that's vera defecult." "It
is ~ said the 0'Flaherty. "0i wish
it had been impossible. .2Ex.
A Poser Her Adorer-No, sir,
it is not for the sake of your daugh-
ter's money love her. 1t is on ac-
count of her sweet temper and her
manners Her Father-If
it is not for money you wish to mar
ry can let you have my niece She
has much sweeter temper and no
money whatever.-Spare Moments.
Shipwrecked Wife ION a small is
land)-Oh, George ! How fortunate
my poor mother cid not come with
us ! Shipwrecked Husband-Yes /;
We may have to stay here for days
Pnck.
Counsel (for dcfendant)- Would
It be contempt Of court to say that
your honor has presided over this
case in a manner which is a disgrace
10 the bench9 Judge-Certainly it |
would. l should commit you at once. |
yOunsel-Then shall not say it,
Tid-Bits.
Sibyl (who has been thrown over
by her fiance) II feel utterly discour-
lged. Tippie (soothingly)-Never
mind, dear, remember there are as
good fish in the sea as ever were
caught. Sibyl-That's all very well;
Jut doesn't it appear to you that one
nay got tired fishing ?-Vogue.
An enterprising local reporter
handed in the following to the city
,ditor of an esteemed contemporary
"a large crowd assembled before Mr..
Sellow's fancy goods store this morn
ng and watched him while he was
in the interesting occupation
+ dressing the four large handsome
French windows that make his place
o attractive. The display was much
njoyed." !" But the compositors were
n a hurry and neglected to put any
IN" in the "windOws. Truth.
Author-Well, professor, how do
on like my new play Critic
iplendid ] Wonderful So realis-
ic. Especially the burglars in il.
even their dialogue is stolen.-Wes-
EN- (Berlin).
"George, father has failed" ''That {
just like him. / told you all along, I
arling, that he was going TO do all 1
G could to keep us from marrying" {
-Lfe's Calendar. z
Natures Stern Discipline. :
The well-being of existing human 8
y, and the unfolding of il into uIti- I
late perfection, arc both secured BY i
though stern discipline ; a i
iscipline which is piiiless in the {
orking-out of good a law which b
ever swerves for the avoidance of
lrtial AID temporary suffering.
The poverty Of the incapable, the
that come upon the impru-
3nt, the starvation Of the idle, and &