The Portland daily press., 1894-01-08
TOUCHING UPON GOOD FORM.
some of the Restrictions That Cultivated
People Regard.

All well-meaning books of etiquette
to the contrary notwithstanding, in
these days of self-poise which are open
| to US, good form has come to mean much
less, or shall say, RAJ her, much more,
| than in the days that are gone. Good
| form is now understood as meaning the
good manners that spring from kind
| heart, and the writer's of books of ETH
quette are passing, as is many another
false note in our system of things. Now,
shall each individual be light unto
himself in manners2 This is sure to
be the rule of the future, when we. have
attained to full understanding of what
the hour now offers us in the way of
education, will be brought to think for
themselves, and there will be no wasting
of gray matter in the writing or reaoing
of books upon good form. But this is
for tomorrow. What of today?
Here is a case in point: A man visitor,
man Of high education and calling,
kept waiting length of time for his
hostess, spent the tagging moments in
looking over her bowl of visitors cards
which action this hostess and her many
friends denounce as being extremely ILL
bred and yet here is almost a case for
argument A book of American ETH
quette, published ten years ago some
where in Indiana, and which same was
compiled by one woman and six men,
with An. and Md. after their names
says in a chapter devoted to calling
while waiting in the parlor for the per
son on whom you have called, do not
thump on an open piano, nor walk
about the room examining pictures and
other articles"
Had we gotten no further than that in
| 1882, even in Indiana? The average New
thump upon the piano, "but why should
| not one look at the pictures or books. or
| at the cards that so often occupy a con-
spicuous place in the drawing room,
which have been arranged, in the proven
| bal nine cases out of ten, with method
not far remote from that employed by
Becky Sharp?
If cards should not be looked at, why
is it not good form to put them out of
sight with her merely personal belong
ings?
And, again, for what reason do we
spend sundry and goodl sums for rare
and beautiful works OF art wherewith
to adorn our homes, if they are not to be
seen Of men? We may buy them simply
IOl jul oWl Dub Nlltb
selfshness lies back of that motive--a
selfishness that overtops the spirit of
display! Time was when to show the
least bit OF interest in or admiration for
the belongings or decorations of a
friends home bepsoke ignorance of good
form, but that day has gone by, together
with the householder utter dependenc
upon the will of decorator and furnisher
Today is here with is reign of individ-
uallty, and we may speak and admire
with frankness, such admiration usual
iy implying compliment to our hostess.
If, however. our acquired objects of art
are not to be looked upon by the casual
visitor, why not adopt the japanese
customs of slowing away in bags-beau-
itful old silken bags veritabie heirlooms
they use, for the japanese are nothing if
not consistent--our treasures, they TO be
brought forth and exhibited to the elect
only among our visitors?
Let US welcome the simplicity that
reigns these days in the matter of card
usage; though, to be sure, a card means
more in this generation, in that it is used
for many different purposes-the formal
visit. the occasional note, the accom-
panlnent to a gift, the note of introduce
ton, luncheon, or a tea, and in New
York the card is used in its most simple
form for the omnipresent tea. 1t IS only
IN smaller towns that departure is taken
in this mode or entertainment from the
regular visiting card, on which is writ.
ten the date and the hour for the tea.
L have in mind some cards that | saw
in Western town bearing the hostess
name and address, with "Five-o' clock