The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-03-03


"A civil tongue is q better weapo.
than bowie knife.-Ram's Horn.
That Mexican kidnapped Texa,
cook to marry her is indication tina
the Greasers are to form . union. =
Cleveland Plaindealer.
Not only can a woman laugh ii
her sleeve. but so can her whole fam
lily, and there's room for the neigh
bors- Topeka (Kan.) Journal
-"Dapper is what l call regular
dummy" sGreat Cesar! He talks al
the timer II know, but look at thu
new suits he displays Inter Ocean
Mrs. Houser (envious)-'T won
der why it was called Paradise?" Hou
ser (emphatic)-"Because there wa.
only one woman in il, of COURSE
Buffalo Courier.
-Jack-'Tf 1 happen to meet Mis-.
Terry I'll speak good word for you. y
Tom-''Do; speak of me as beautiful
and brainy, but unutterably bad."-N.
Y. Herald.
-Of what benefit are brothers? When
they are little they are a torment, and
when they grow old enough to be OF
use TO their sisters, other girls borrow
them. -Atchison Globe.
Monkeys have peculiar dread OF
snakes. 1t is certainly natural that
they should. The first woman on earth
was led to make a monkey of herself
by snake.-N. o. Picayune.
THE flea is hated by mankind
worse than any other insect-and do
you know why?" Haven't the slight
est idea" Because it makes them
scratch for living" -Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
-Manager-"De Circassian girls in
peck o. troubler' Living Skeleton
"How's that?' ''She married de two
headed boy yesterday. an dey arrested
her fer bigamy dis mornin'. Boston
Traveller.
-''Of all persons the cross-eycd man
should be the least blamed for con-
frmed skepticism." Should, Ell? And
why?" because he knows he can't
believe more'n half he sees, let alone
what he hears Buffalo Courier.
-Cashley-s'What could you do, my
poor man?" Beggar-s'Might stand
around in the parlor when We 'ad COM
pany- "You? What for?" snake
'em think as We wuz entertainin'
furrin nobIeman. "-Cleveland Plain.
Dealer.
Officer McGobb-"An' is the har-r-d
tonnes affectin' your busines ahny?''
Hungry Higgins-''Is it affectin' me
business? Is it? wy dey's gettin' to
be SO many amatoors in it dat de legit
don't stand no show at all. INDIAN
spolis Journal
-Mudge-'Fellow called me liar
last night" Yabsley-"What did you
do?' Mudge-"Well, he weighed about
200 pounds, so I just told him that /
recognized his right as an American
citizen to free expression of opinion,
and let it go at that. "-Indianapolis
Journal
Dusty Rhodes-'I had private box
at . food exhibit this afternoon" Fitz
William-s'How did you come to get
it?" Dusty Rhodes-"I was looking in
, restaurant window to see man make
wheat cakes and policeman stepped
up and gave it to me."--Kate Fields
She is going to marry him after
all, then?' Eyes, he has come into .
lot of money" where did it come
from?" Nobody knows" Is she con-
tent to marry him knowing nothing
about where he got his money?'' ''She
knows all she wants to know; she
knows he has got tn. Y. Press
docs yer believe in ha'nts?" asked
Uncle Eben's niece. "Um-er--it 'pends
On whut yer mean by ha'nts," replied
the old man. II means de quar- things
dat hangs roun' ole worn out homes"
YES, honey, b'lieves in 'em. oncet
picked up yer ole WORKOUT home in de
shape OBJ hornets nes'. An de way
dat place was ha'nted was 'boutde mos
mazinest ting ebbcr did see."-
Star.