The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1894-11-08
CHAU7AUQUA. |:
GEOLOGY ASH VIEW 1T.
BY MEMBER OF CLASS A.

When, after mature elaboration, decided to
become member of this honorable body, it
lever entered into my calculations that should
ever be called upon to express myself on the sub
ject of geology. Had 1 the remOtest idea of
what was in store for me, 1 should have
drawn the line at that point, but not having at
my command any portion of that occult science
that enables one to predict the future. find my
self to-day in the very unpleasant predicament
of trying to elucidate subject of which am as
ignorant as is the average dude of the laws of
common sense. But in for penny, in for a
pound, and shall now proceed to demonstrate
how little know of the subject in hand.
My dictionary tells me that geology is the ''sci-
which treats of the interior structure of the
earth.' Now, as am neither miner nor we'll
digger, the structure of the bowels of this mum
dane sphere has little or no interest for me.
am more interested in the surface of this earth,
and more particularly the geological specimens
which now encompass me round about, and
from which may not escape until the powers
that be shall say to me, go hence into the
outer world and sin MORE" In that remote
section of the east whence was issued, well re-
member in my early youth of seeing long
haired specimen of the "genus hOmO' going
about with hammer, microscope, a leather
bag and a lunch basket nOsing around the rocks
and the other debris that lie prOfusely scattered
along the Niagara river. all the way from Black
Rock to the falls. That man afterward pub
lished a book entitled, The Geology of Niagara
Falls" thought at the time that he was little
off. and after reading his volume thought so
more than ever, in fact have not had a good
reason for changing my mind as yet.
There is one popularity about the study of
geology, and that is. the unanimity with which
the geological sharps disagree as to relation of
the science to the claims of the Bible. While
some of them claim that the structure of the
earth proves beyond question that its formation
is of divine origin others claim that its birth and
subsequent development were matters of chance
and entirely outside of the control of any power,
| human or divine; and Ito their own satisfaction.
at least) prove it by the somewhat inflated posi-
ton that. had the world been of divine origin, it
would not have been so irregular. They do,
however, all agree upon one point and that is as
to the antiquity of this great globe which we call
the world; placing the beginning of its forma-
ton back millions of years. Whether they have
arrived at this conclusion by process of mathe-
MATES, analogy, or guess work, is more than
am prepared to say. But with all their acute
ness none of them have ever undertaken to give
a reason for the existence of gumbO that pecu-
liarly exasperating species of mud which so pro-
fusely abounds in the state of Missouri. The an
clients studied geology, to the extent at least of
discovering two metals, one white the other yell
low, called in the vernacular, gold and silver.
| These two metals have caused more and greater
disturbances in the economy of the nations of
the earth than all other causes combined
These are geological specimens of which we AL
desire to be pOssessOrs, more particularly after
they have received the stamp of approval which
makes them fiat money, when they can be eX-
changed for any article of necessity or luxury we
may desire; and, by the bye. taking too great
an interest in securing some of those same very
interesting specimens, after they had arrived al
a state af perfection. was the primal cause of my
being here, trying to tell you what 1 don't know
about geology.
| Geology at different times has played a very
important part in the history of the world
Notably. when Goliath was wearing the champi
on's belt and challenging any man in his class tt
meet him. a little fellow of the middle weight
class picked up small geological specimen anC
threw it at him with sling and being an I'm
usually good marksman with that kind of gun
he knocked him out in tie first round. 1t was
good thing that it wasn't woman who under
took TO THROW THAT stone, Sne would nave missed
Goliath, and killed some one behind her. Some
one once said that lis easier to tell what vol
don't know on any given subject than what yol
do, and in looking over this Ms, Ihave come tt
the conclusion that he knew what he was talking
about, and that is more than dc, and therefore
hope to be let down easy by the critic and the
. circle. In conclusion would say that if any ont
present should feel an inclination to shy geOlOg
ical specimen about the size and shape of {
brick at my head for boring you with this night
mare, that person has my full forgiveness il
advance.