davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
"Here's to the maiden OF bashful fifteen,
And here's to the W dow Of fortyi'

They have each reached Ieriod in life
when most females need assistance in tiding
them over the shoals which so often com
pletely wreck their after lives. In produc'
ing regularity and health action of the fe-
male organs, DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip.
tion stands without peer. Az a time when
nature gives them increased burdens, so
many young girls have their health for life
shattered. II you wish your daughter to
miss those periodical, agonizing backackes.
and dizzy headaches, languid and tired feel
ings, accompanied with rough. pimply skin
and dull, heavy eyes, get her bottle Of DR.
Pierce's FsvoEite Prescription. If you have
reached the latter period Of danger and
weakness, you will need bottle, too. See
wrapper on bottle for printed guarantee.
Satisfaction given In every case, or money
returned.
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
Future Posfa0e.

"We have gone on selecting cotton wool
till we have got some lighter than air,
You've no idea what useful material it
is. We call 1t 'imponderal
"What do you use it forf"
swell, chiefly for packing articles to go
by parcel post. 1t makes them weigh less
than nothing, you know"
"And how do the postoffice people know
what you have to payP"
"That's the beauty of the new system, /"
Mein Herr cried exultingly. "They pay
usl We don't pay them. I've often got
as much as shillings for sending par
eel"
"But doesn't your government object?"
"Well, they do object a little. They
say it comes SO expensive in the long run.
But the things as clear as daylight, by
their own rules. II l send parcel that
weighs pound more than nothing, pay
threepence. So, of course, If it weighs a
pound less than nothing ought to receive
threepence. From "Sylvie and Bruno" /"
Lewis Carroll.
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
Relief In SIX Hours,

Distressing kidney and bladder diseases
relieved in six hours by the ''New Grest
South American Kidney Cure. This new
remedy i. great surprise on account of its
exceeding promptness in relieving pain in the
bladder, kidneys, back and every part of
the urinary passages in male or female. 1t
relieves retention Of water aud pain in pass
ing it almost Immediately. If you want
quick relief and cure this is your remedy.
Sold by D. ]. Humphrey, Druggist, Napo-
leon, o. April 27-93 1y
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
Strength and Health.

If you are not feeling strong
and healthy; try Electric Bitters,
If LA Grippen has left you
weak and weary, use Electric Bitters,
This remedy acts directly on Liver
Stomach and Kidneys, gently aiding
those organs to perform their functions
If you are afflicted with Sick Headache,
you will find speedy and permanent
relief by taking Electric Bitters. One
trial will convince you that this is the
remedy you need. Large bottles only
SOC. at d. J. Humphreys Drug Store,
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22

Company, II Murray Street. New York City.
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
slaurn,ered a Bunalo Herd.

News has been received here that par
ty Of hunters have slaughtered an entire
herd Of buffalo in Yellowstone park. The
animals were chased into deep snow and
shot down. The object was to secure the
heads, which command high price. AS
the three hunters were preparing to bring
away the heads they were arrested by a
company of soldiers, who plsced them in
the guardhouse at Mammoth SPRING.
Boise City Dispatch.
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
A Clause With a Strange Fndib,

A few years ago, during the discussion
OF the clauses of a bill before the house of
commons, a member moved to omit all
the words In a clause after the word
(which" and this was carried without
any one having moved an addition. The
result was that one clause Of the bill end
cd with the word (which" and the dis
oovery of its meaning naturally passed thu
wit OF man.-LAndon Oueen.
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
What is

Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitchers prescription for Infants
and Children. 1t contains neither Opium, Morphine
other Narcotic substance. 1t is harmless substitute
for Paregoric, Drops Soothing Syrup and Castor Oil.
1t is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years. by
Millions of Mothers Castoria destroys Worms and aays
feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Cur,
cures Diarrhea and Wind Collie. Castoria relieves
teethng troubles constipation and fatulency.
Castori assimates the food, regulates the stomach
and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas-
tora is the Children's Panaceathe Mothers Friend.
Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1894-03-22
Castoria.

"Castoria Is so well adapted to children that
recommend IL assuperior to any prescription
known TO me-"
II. a. ARCHER, N. D.,
Iii So Oxford St., Brooklyn, N. Y.
"0ur physicians In the children's depart
ment have spoken highly Of their expert
ence in their outside practice with castoria,
and although we only have among our
medical supplies what Is known as regular
products, yet we are free to confess that the
merits Of Castoria has won us TO look with
favor upon It."
UNITED HosPrrAL AND D1sPENsARY,
Boston, Mass
ALLEN @. SMITH, Pres.
urray Street, New York City.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23

see madame and Min Min, was IN
formed that they were not at home,
and monsieur himself was the in
fornant; nor did he. as heretofore, in
vite Warning to enter. Sam was fell
low who detested misunderstood
ing. Cautiously, but positively, he
demanded explanation. Lascelles
shrugged his shoulders, but gave it.
He had heard too much of monsieurs
attentions to madame, his wife, and
desired their immediate discontinue
ance. He must request monsieur's as
surance that he would not again visit
Beau Rivage, or else the reparation
due man of honor, etc. Where
upon," said Warning, Il didn't propose
to be outdone in civility, and therefore
replied, in the best French / could
command: Permit me to tender mon
sieur-both. Monsieur's friends will
find me at the barracks"
"All the same" said Warning, when
/ found madame and Min Min stuck in
the mud | did what / considered the
proper thing, and drove them, coram
publico, to bonnie maman's,' never let
ting them see, of course, that there
was any row on tap, and so when /
saw the old fellow with keen-looking
party alongside 1 felt sure it meant
mischief. l was utterly surprised,
therefore, when Lascelles came up
with hat off and hand extended, bow
ing low, praying pardon for the intru-
sion, but saying he could not defer an
other instant the desire to express his
gratitude the most profound for my
extreme courtesy to madame and his
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
SENATOR INGALLS, on SOAP.

dates in his mind, and said nothing,
When the sen. to. had related circum-
stantially his own varied experiences
with razors and brushes and soaps,
recommending this make of blade and
that brand of lather to Mr.. Lewsley's
use, the reporter, convinced that he
could not learn what be had come to
learn, arose to go. There was, OF
the reporter imagined there was, q sort
of merry triumphant twinkle in Sena-
tor Ingalls, eye as he politely bowed
his caller from the room-a twinkle
which seemed to say: II have made
the young man really forget what he
came for"
The next morning Senator ingalls,
was more or less Mortified at finding in
the local newspaper a true report Of
all he had said, including the earnest
recommendation of a certain shaving
soap which he unqualifedly pro-
nounced to be the very best that could
be had. But the reporters vengeance
was not yet satisfied. He marked the
article and sent it to the manufacturer
of the recommended soap. In a fort
night the newspapers, the periodicals
and all the many means employed by
advertisers were brought into use, and
Senator Ingalls, eloquent eulogy of
that soap was printed in every form
that could be devised to attract popu-
lar attention. And the worst of it
was, the senator could not deny that
the very evnresSiOnS earnest and glow
ing as they were, were all his own.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
Where Doctors Conrrerate.

Within block of the treasury de-
partment our physicians are congre-
eating. Doctors Commons" is a title
that can be very appropriately applied
to that portion of Washington embrac-
ing the north and south sides of New
York avenue and e street, between
Thirteenth and Fourteenth streets.
Within this square are no less than
twenty-eight doctors Offices. New
York avenue seems to be the favorite
street for doctors. and there is quite q
settlement of medicos on this boule
ward, between Ninth and Tenth
streets, northwest. For many years
the late Dr. A. Y. P. Garnett. who was
physician tn JEFF Davis, and the late
DR.. Ashford, who was one of the pro-
moters of the Children's hospital in
this city, lived on the north and
south sides respectively of New
York avenue, and their signs are still
visible on the transoms of their former
residences
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23

Bridget to take the letters to him.
She was setting her cap for the old
Frenchman. I'VE called her Mrs
Dawson" The cabman drove very
slowly through the storm as Doyle
walked home along with Bridget and
some man who was helping, and when
they reached the gate there was the
cab and Waring in it. The cab-driver
was standing by his horse, swearing at
double fare. Doyle had had trouble with
his wife for many years, and renewed
trouble lately because of two visits
Lascelles had paid there, and that
evening when she sent for him he was
drinking in Warnings room, had been
drinking during the day; he dreaded
more trouble, and twas he who took
Warnings knife, and still hadit, he said,
when he entered the gate, and no
sooner did he see Lascelles at his door
than he ordered him to leave. Las
celles refused to go. Doyle knocked
him down, and the Frenchman sprang
up, swearing vengeance. Laseelles
fired two shots, and Doyle struck once
with the knife-and there lay Las
celles, dead, before Doyle could know
or realize what he was doing. In fact,
Doyle never did know. 1t was what
his wife had told him, and life had
been a hell to him ever since that
woman came back. She had black
mailed him, more or less, ever since he
cro+ bic commission hacanSa Of m old
trouble he'd had in Texas.
And this confession was written out
for him, signed by Doyle on his dying
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
Farmer and Art Critic,

Thousands of tourists, and among
them art connoisseurs, have thorough
ly examined the bronze doors on the
east front of the senate wing of the
capitol, but it was reserved for horny
listed SON of toll to discover defect In
these works of American artisans.
These doors were cast at Chicopee,
Mass, and are intended to de-
pict scenes in the early history
of the United States. Prominent
in one of the central panels, on the
right-hand side of the entrance, is a
figure on horseback, supposed to repre-
sent the Father of His Country return
ing at the head of his victorious troops.
"He must have just come out of the
pasture with his horse" remarked a
stalwart granger, after surveying the
door intently, 'for he has no stirrups,
and just look, his legs dangle in conse-
quence." The criticism was found to be
true, and is the only drawback to the
enjoyment of the spirited scene por-
trayed in bronze, for all the other
panels have generals properly equipped
If they happen to be on horseback.
SMITH ID. Fry.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
Smoke In the Pension Office.

In the big court of the pension Office
building scene is enacted every week
day at noon which is strongly sug-
gestive of the picture of the Smokers
Rebellion in the Corcoran art gallery.
The commissioner recently issued an
order forbidding smoking in any of
the rooms of the bureau during Office
hours, but made an exception of the
dinner hour, so far as the court is con-
cerned. Many of the clerks hailed the
new rule with Joy, and especially as
some of the smokers were not at all
chary about using plug tobacco in clay
pipes, and with deadly effect upon del
icate organizations. Now, however,
there are a number of smokers at noon,
and the atmosphere is so dense with
the fumes and smoke from tobacco
that it could almost be cut with an az.
1t does not require a very vivid imagi-
nation to picture second William the
Testy, of New Amsterdam, surrounded
by irate tobacco users, any day at the
pension building.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
THE EMPTY DINNER PAIL.


As sit here idly dreaming Of the happy time
Not dollar in my pocket. and the winter COM
ing on.
rhe thing that breaks me up the most. and
makes me feel so small.
Is the sight of that ola dinner pail, hanging on
the wall
I've carried that old dinner pail for fifteen years
or more
And it never saw me out OF work or destitute
before:
For with shops and factories running and the
best OF wages paid
A prosperous lot Of fellows were the dinner pail
brigade.
But you see we wasn't satisfied, though It
seems most mighty strange,
And we said we thought the country would be
better for a change;
And we rallied about the tariff, and we bowed
about free trade,
And we voted democratic, did the dinner pail
brigade.
Well, a change was what We wanted. ana We
got it too, you bet;
For the shops and factories all shut down. and
left US In the wet:
The banks suspended payment, and lost my
little all
And the dinner pail is empty now, that's hang
ing on the wall
I'm dependent now on charity for the roof above
my head,
And I've seen my wife and little ones go hun
cry to their bed;
But I've plenty time for thinking, and see it
isn't strange.
For voted democratic just TO have little
change.
Yes, we voted democratic, and you see the
change has made
brigade.
The workingmen are idle, but the wormwood
and the gall
Is to see the empty dinner pail, hanging on the
wall.
Lizzie Clark Hardy, in Chicago Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
The White House Water Supply.

No matter how turbid the drinking
water may be in other residences
throughout the District of Columbia
it is always clear and sparkling at the
white house. This is due to the fact
that the famous spring in Franklin
square, half dozen squares away.
has been diverted into terra Gotta pipes
and conveyed to the executive man.
sion, so that running water is always
to be obtained. At the southeastern
angle of the white house a cistern,
with capacity for a hundred barrels
of water. has been constructed. ard
this is always full. During the past
week the workmen have been engaged
in the work of cleaning out the cistern,
and there was remarkable absence
of debris and mud when the bottom
was reached. In the old days, when
Franklin square was playground for
the First ward youths, the spring at
the base of the big poplar tree on 1
street was a favorite resort for the
tired and thirsty youngsters. and in
these days the pure waters are very es-
sential to the comfort of the president
of the United States and his family.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
COMMENT AND OPINION.

Wheat and -four are at the lowest
figures ever reached, and yet in these
good old democratic times" the de-
mand for free bread was never greater.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
EThe passage of the Wilson bill by
the house is equivalent to a notice from
the democratic party to the working
men of the country that it thinks they
have been receiving exorbitant wages.
St Louis Globe Democrat
EThe extent of Mr. Cleveland's
vindication seems to be that the house
has approved the principle of non-in-
reference in Hawaiian affairs he
enunciated and carefully avoided any
reference to the manner in which he
failed to live up to it-Chicago Times
DEM.
EThe republicans in 1853 favored
an income tax to save the life of tho
nation and to pay the brave men in the
field who were battling for the flag.
The democratic party in 1894 favors an
income tax to help them break down
protection to American labor" and
tide over national disaster while they
are doin g it-Chicago Inter Ocean
FThe fifty million-dollar loan called
for by Mr. Carlisle will not be all that
will be needed by the government
The revenues will probably be smaller
than the expenditures for a year or
two. All future issues of bonds should
be of smaller denominations, and be
disposed of TO the people. Keep them
l. n a. - sd
moneyed institutions-Tole Blade
sEThe farmer has been induced to
look upon the policy of protection as .
scheme for the benefit of the manufac-
turer at the expense of the producer.
He is now in a position where he can
disabuse his own mind. and he vii
need nothing more than the simple
market reports of the world to convince
him that his future prosperity depends
upon the purchasing power Of the
American people City Jour
nal
HThere is no question but as things
now stand Mckinley is the most popular
man in the republican party. and in the
reaction from free trade rule which Is
coming and already upon US Mckinley
represents the central Thought of the
people-namely protection" 1t Is
protection that is going TO arouse the
zeal and enthusiasm of the suffering
people Of this country as they raise the
republican party to power again and
will sock Mckinley into the presiden-
tial chair so hard he will not be able to
get out for eight yearA-Bloomingt
! Ml.) Leader.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
A SENATOR'S BLUNDER.
Made an Object Lesson by a
Bright Journalist
Postmaster General Bissell Perpetrates .
CHASTITY Joke-How David Lewsley Got
Even with Ingsils-Other
Good Stories
Especial Washington Letter I


When the senate special committee
was engaged in an endeavor to ascer-
tain who gave information to the news
paper men concerning executive ses-
sions, the gentlemen of the press had
considerable quiet fun with the states
men.
On one occasion Senator Faulkner,
of West Virginia, and Senator Bate, of
Tennessee, were seated together in a
committee room when Mr.. George Har-
ries, newspaper man, entered. liar
ries," said Senator Faulkner, 81 wish
you would tell me how you newspaper
men get information of the transac-
lions of our secret sessions?'
Why" said Mr.. Harries, "there is a
committee upstairs trying to find that
out. You ought to go up and listen to
the testimony"
Never mind the committee" said the
senator. Won't you tell me, just for
the qualification of my own curiosity?"
Mr.. Harries reflected a moment and
said: 81 would have no objection to
telling you, senator, If you were au-
thorized by the senate to receive the
information"
Then why don't you tell it to the
committee?" asked the senator.
is the committee properly consti-
tuted and duly authorized to receive
such information, senator?"
''Of course it is"
SLOW do you make that out?'
"Why," said the senator, sit was
constituted by the senate in the regu-
lar way under Senator Dolph's resolu-
ton" Then Senator Faulkner went
ahead and gave every detail of the
manner in which the senate, in execu-
tive session, discussed and adopted the
resolutions; how the committee was con-
stituted and what it was empowered
to do. When the senator had con-
cluded, Mr.. Harries said: well, sem
ator, that is the way we newspaper
men get information of the proceedings
of the secret sessions. Good day"
Senator Faulkner did not get the full
meaning of the newspaper mans re-
mark until Senator Bate quietly and
good humoredly said:
Faulkner, if every senator were as
easy to pump as you are, we might as
well hold our secret sessions out on the
portico."
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23

that subject, met Mr.. Lewsley with
his accustomed grace and courteously
veered the conversation into other
channels. Somehow, for want of an
other handy subject, the senator said
something about boards, which led to
BARRIERS, and, of course, to the general
subject of shaving.
by all MEANS" said Senator Ingalls,,
''you should learn to shave yourself"
and then he went on with learned,
thoughtful and highly entertaining
disquisition on the advantages, eco
nomic and metaphysic. of shaving one
self rather than hiring barber to do
it. Mr.. Lewsley paid careful attention
to all the senator said, fixed facts and
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
A Newsps per Mans Revenge.

David Lewsley was one of the bright
est. keenest and best men in the Wash
ington field of newspaper work. l re-
ceived letter from him once, saying:
81 am off for California on an assign
ment to recover a lost lung" He died
of consumption.
Upon one occasion, Mr.. Lewsley, who
was at that time a reporter for Wash
ington journal. was sent to hold an in
terview with Senator Ingalls, upon an
important matter of state. The sena-
tor, who had no intention whatever
of being drawn into conversation on
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
His Reason.

Papa-Fred, why are you SO bad in
school?
Fred-Mamma told me 70 be as near
like you as l could, and heard you
tell Mr.. Taylor what a bad boy you
used to be in school.-Harper's Bazaar.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
"YoU MAY WANT TO GET INTO HEAVEN

ton last week, and brought a trunkful
of papers. He had the indorsementso of
two-thirds of the business men, sew
enty per cent. of the voters, and letters
from every clergyman in the place.
He laid these before Mr.. Bissell, who
looked them over carefully.
Hadn't you better keep these?"
asked the postmaster general. You
may want to get into Heaven some
time"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
A Sharks stomachache.

Mamma" said the baby shark, I've
got tummickache.
what have you been eating?" asked
the mother shark, severely.
'.Boo-hoor wept the little shark. II
eat wax doll little girl dwopped
overheard. i thought it was real per-
son. r-Harper's Bazaar.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23

Birdie-I wish l had your golden
hair.
Pinkie-Why so?
Birdie-Because it's so much easier
to blacken the eyebrows than to have
to bleach the hair.-Chicago Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23

Mr.. Beenthere-Wel;, 1 think mar.
riage at best is but lottery.
Miss Yellowleaf (eagerly)-You don't
happen to know where they sell tickets.
do you?-Chips
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23

Your neighbor appears to have
failed a good many times"
Just twenty-four times. The next
will be his silver Bankruptcy
Fhegende Blaetter.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-02-23
A Matter of Doubt.

Bank Examiner-Do you consider
your safe is burglar-proof?
Bank President-Not altogether SO.
Our cashier knows the continuation
Puck.