The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-04-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


tickets. Truth.
Consistency is jewel often sold to
pay the price of success. Puck.
A mistake is apt to attract more at
tention to us than a virtue. RAMS
Horn.
The trouble with many men is that
they will snatch defeat from victory.
Puck.
"I always did enjoy an intellectual
feast, said the cannibal, as he ate the
Yale man. Life.
When a man pawns his honor he
finds that the legal interest on perjury
is tremendously high. Truth.
Judge Ito tramp prisoner) Fifty
dollars or thirty days" times
money, Judge. Gi'me thirty days"
A newly discovered weather prophet
says that an icy pavement is sure
sign of an early fall. Hartford Jour
nal.
A Kensington doctor suggests that
q good thing for the Cramps is a con-
tract for new warship. Philadelphia
Record.
Christie "That young Mr.. Sapp
talks Just like book, doesn't hep"
Kathryn-'Yes, blank book. De
troit Free Press.
He-'There goes Hatton in his new
overcoat What do you think of him?"
She--''He is simply out of sight,
Washington News.
"Goodluck has had his salary raised;
was it for extra work? ?' Eyes; he
always listens when the proprietor
tells his baby's smart sayings"
''How are you getting along learn
ing to operate your typewriter?"
''First rate. can almost Iead some
of the things l write. Chicago
Record.
Husband (iratelyl--"You think you
know everything, don't you?" Wife
(softly)-"No, dear; l never did know
why you know SO little. Detroit
Free Press.
az am sorry. but the picture looks
like perfect failure to me-" Artist
"Great Scott, what a perfect success
must have made OF it"- Chicago
Inter-Ocesn.
She--"I don't like that Mr.. Smith;
he is always riding some hobby or
other to death" He" -"Ah, why don't
you call the attention of the $. P. @.
A. people to it..
The difference between the wealthy
idler and the leader of an orchestra is
that the formers sole ambition is to
kill time ,yhi1a bo 10 tor haote
Philadelphia Record.
Mamma" "What are you and Fred,
die quarrelling about?" "We we're
playing keep house and Freddie came
home and found dinner wasn't ready"
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Shells it true that q lover never
eats anything?" He-"Not after he
becomes engaged" She--''Why not?"
He-"He never has any money to
spare. ."--Brooklyn Life.
Benedict "Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case?" Singleton-'I'm afraid there
is" "That's so? Do you know who
it. is" 'Yes--her father"
Maude don't you give
young Sewers some encouragement if
you love him." Nell--"Oh, he ought
to be able to press his own suit He's
n tailor. ."-Philadelphia Record.
Bunker--'T was fool enough yester-
day TO tell that doctor of yours that
you sent me" Hill-"What difference
did that make" Dunker--"Hc made
me pay cash. New York Herald
Elderly Maiden -"Ehis is SO unex.
pected, Mr. Wellalong, that that YOU
must give me time" Elderly Lover
'Time, Miss Rebecca? Do you think
there is any to spare Chicago Tri
bune.
Forgot herself: Briggs "You knew
Mangle recently married widow and
went on "A wedding trip, ddn't you? !
saw him yesterday on his return.
Griggs--"Anything happen while ne
was away?" Briggs He says
that in a fit of absent -miDdedness she
proposed to him again. - Brooklyn
Life.
Here said the very young man,
sis II chameleon. "Oh. Mr.. Clllow,"
she exclaimed, "this Is very kind of
a'Ns oAAeAA AANA sSbb q NatA h AA H.
hope you will keep it 10 remind you of
me" al shall take the greatest pleas
ure in doing SO. (Aft-, q paascl What
pity it doesn't stay green .dl the
time. Washington Star.
Mr.. Gotham-"So you are going 90
settle in the United St1tes2" New Ar.
rival from South America, "Yes,
sir; they've got 10 drawing things
little too fine in South America Go suit
me. Why, sir, ITS got SO now that
man can't even get JON at overthrow.
ing government unless he belongs TO
the Revolutionists Union and has paid
his fees regularly for six. mouths 49,
New York Weekly
81 have got tirst-ratc place for
you, said the employment agent.
The woman who wants a c1ok asel 10
be "A hired girl herself So thcre's no
doubt but that she will Zoe opsy on
you" EASY ON mcy' screamed ,be
applicant for II place, "Not mG.l She
would, Why, she wouldn't do % tlius
but sit up of nights thinking 1ut way.
TO get even ON me loc tho way sat vas
treated When she hod to live ou h-r-
i