Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1894-10-13
u OF THE DAY

HUxOR OF THE DAY
The way of the transgr essor is often
q puzzle to the detectives. Puck.
The most dangerous hole in a mans
pocket is the one at the top.-Puck.
The elephant is not big enough to
concentrate his mind on a peanut
Puck.
When the shark is down in the
mouth he must feel sick all over
Puck.
The only thing q man wants, after
he gets all the money he needs is more.
Puck.
An egotist is q man who thinks the
world thinks as we'll of him as he does
himself. Puck.
The man who has q tendency to
| make an ass of himself never lacks for
| skill and material.
":Jason'? Why did you name your
| dog that?" because he is always
searching for the aeece."-Life.
"See those ~violets. How modest
they are!" Modest? I guess you
never asked the price Of them. Truth.
"My son" said a wise father, "never
throw away anything; there is no bait
at which some fish won't bite. New
York Sun.
Mistress-'And pray, why do you
want to leave us, Anna?" Cook-"The
doctor has ordered my ~grenadier q more
generous diet !'-Baseler Nachrichten.
Daughter (weeping)-"Oh. papa,
to-day I enter already on my thirtieth
year" Father-"Calm yourself, child
it won't last long. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Peacemaker-"Laura, haven't you
and Irene kissed and made up yet?"
Laura-''Oh, yes. That is, we kissed.
She was already made up."-Chicago
Tribune.
"Why, Miss De Belle, how costumes
alter some people. I hardly knew
you" '.Do 1 look SUCH a fright them"
"On the contrary, you look most
charming"
81 can give you a striking illustra-
ton of my theory" said the nan who
argues. Don't do it," replied the
capitalist, YEARLY, "let's arbitrate."
Washington Star.
"Do you really mean that you like
Blinks'e rnst book?' "Yes; l enjoy 1t
more than n of the Others" "Hcw
could you?" II didn't read s.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
"Hello, Bilby! Still in the patent
fire e1tinguisher business?" mo.
The fact is, Sipes, the building we we're
doing business in burned down. We
lost everything."-Chica Tribune.
Edith-"What makes you think that
Charley is in love with you?" Maude
-"EThy, ma talked to him over half
an hour last evening. and he really
seemed to enjoy it."-Boston Tran
script.
Shelf don't believe you think half
so much of me as Tom Dinslev does.
He tells me he could die for me-" He
That's nothing. I love you well
enough to live with you."-Boston
Transcript. :
Hausfrau Ito dunning tradesman1 :
IF tomorrow is bad weather / shall
be able TO pay You. But if it is good
weather you need not call. as we shall
need the money to go to a picnic-'-
Fliegende Blaetter.
Joax-"You know Bagley fell off q
car yesterday and broke his jaw. His
face is all bound up. / went up tc
see him to-day" Hoax-"How wa.
he?" Joax--"His wife said he couldn'
complain. "--Philadelphia Record.
! Stoaks-'eThere goes Cantor. Cakes
He's got one Of the finest voices / eve1
heard. Ever heal him sing? He.
got q fine voice" Cakes (sadlyl-
J Eyes; nice voice. / heard it about al
hour ago-he borrowed ten."-Chi
' cago Record.
y General when bulles-proof uniform
become common)-"Nhat have 20,
learned?' Aid-'yictory will 500,
( perch upon our banner. We hav'
; filled the enemy's clothes SO full o
: lead that they can't O another steI
: without undressing.'- New Yori
o Weekly.
I Exceptional ability is not awarde.
! adequately these days." said Hicks
Look At that srmless wonder VIII
: rubs his eyes with his heels; he onl,
! gets ten dollars q week, while Won
who can't do that or anything like ii
get twenty-five q week for ordinar,
work."-Harper's Bazaar.
Mother" said q little girl, Iookin;
up from her book, what does transit
!antic meAn?" 'sOh across the ATTAIN
tic, OF course. Don't bother me 20,
. make me forget my count.' Doe
: irans always mean across:' az snp
pose it does If ron don't stop botn
e1ing me with your questions. vou'l
go TO bed" Then does Transporter