The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-04-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


tickets. Truth.
Consistency is a jewel often sold to
pay the price of success. Puck.
A mistake is apt to attract more at
tention to us than q virtue. Rams
Horn.
The trouble with many men is that
they will snatch defeat from victory.
Puck.
81 always did enjoy an intellectual
feast, " said the cannibal, as he ate the
Yale man.-Life.
When man pawns his honor he
finds that the legal interest on perjury
is tremendously high. Truth.
Judge Ito tramp prisoner)-''Fifty
dollars or thirty days" "rime's
money, Judge. Gi'me thirty days"
A newly discovered weather prophet
says that an icy pavement is sure
sign OF an early fall. Hartford Jour
nal.
A Kensington doctor suggests that
a good thing for the Cramps is con-
tract for a new warship. p.--Philadelphia
Record.
Christie-"That young Mr.. Sapp
talks Just like book, doesn't hep"
Kathryn-"Yes, a blank book. De
troit Free Press.
He-"rhere goes Hatton in his new
overcoat What do you think of him?"
She--''He is simply out of sight. -
Washington News.
"Goodluck has had his salary raised;
was it for extra work?" Eyes; he
always listens when the proprietor
tells his baby's smart sayings"
"How are you getting along learn
ing to operate your typewriter?"
"First rate. l can almost read some
of the things write. Chicago
Record.
Husband (iratelyl--"You think you
know everything, don't you?" Wife
(softly)-''No, dear; never did know
why you know so little. Detroit
Free Press.
81 am sorry, but the picture looks
like perfect failure to me-. Artist
"Great Scott, what perfect success I
must have made of itP'- Chicago
Inter-Ocean.
She--."I don't like that Mr.. Smith;
he is always riding some hobby or
other to death" He --"Ah, why don't
you call the attention of the S. P. @.
A. people to it.
The difference between the wealthy
idler and the leader of an orchestra is
that the formers sole ambition is to
kill time, while the latter beats it
Philadelphia Record
Mamma" "What are you and Fred.
die quarrelling about?" ''We we're
playing keep house and Freddie came
home and found dinner wasn't ready"
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Shells it true that lover never
eats anything?" He-"Not after he
becomes engaged" She--''Why not?"
He-"He never has any money to
spare. Brooklyn Life.
Benedict ct-"Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case?" Singleton-'Tm afraid there
is" "That's so? Do you know who
it. is2" "Yes--her father"
Maude -"Why don't you give
|
you love him?" Nell "Oh, he ought
to be able to press his own suit. He's
tailor. ."-Philsdelphia Record.
Bunker--'T was fool enough Yester-
day to tell that doctor of yours that
you sent me-. ." Hill-"What difference
did that make?" Dunker--"Hc made
me pay cash. New York Herald
/
pected, Mr.. Wellalong, that that You
must give me time" Elderly Lover
''Time, Miss Rebecca? Do YOU thiuk
there is any to spare l"- Chicago Tri'
bune.
Forgot herself; Briggs "You knew
Mangle recently married widow and
went on n wedding trip, dldn't You?
saw him yesterday ON his return.
| Griggs- Anything happen while ne
was away?" Briggs--"Yes. He says
that in fit of absent -mindedness she
proposed to him again. > Brooklyn
Life.
'Here," said the very young man,
sis chameleon. " "Oh Mr.. Callow,"
she exclaimed, "this is very kind of
! you. l shall take gool care of it. - ~
hope you will keep it 10 remind you of
me" al shall take the greatest pleas
ure in doing So after pause) What
pity it doesn't stay green All the
time. Washington Star
Mr.. Gotham-"So you are going TO
settle in the United States2" New Ar
rival from South Americaj Eyes,
sir; they've got TO drawing things a
little too fine in South America 60 snit
me. Why, sir, ITS got So now that u
man can't even get a jon at overthrow
ing government uniess he belongs TO
the Revolutionists' Union and has paid
his fees regularly for six. months -
New York Weekly.
81 have got first-rate place for
you. said the employment agent.
The woman who wants a COOS Issd 10
be hired girl herself, So thores no
doubt but that she will he oasv on
you" "Easy ON mey" screamed ,he
applicant for a place. "Not mGcl she
would. Why, she wouldn't do a tains
but sit up of nights thinking out ways
to get even ON me fog tho way see vas
treated when she hod TO live ous her-
| eelf Won don't know AS ma d, ulaIt.