davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
'ess expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Its excellence is due TO its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of perfect lax
alive; efectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
1t has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs ia for sale by all drug
gists in 50c and 81 bottles, but it is man-
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute If offered.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
what He Could Not Forrire.

Mr.. Robert Louis Stevenson does not
like the portraits of him which are given
to the world, and no wonderl "The pic
lures they publish of me" he complained,
vary considerably. They represent every
type from the most godlike creatures to
the criminal classes, and their descriptions
of me vary in proportion-from a man
with noble bearing to a 'blighted boy
/ don't mind what they say as general
rule, only object when somewhere in the
States an interviewer wrote, A tall, will
lowy column supported his classic head,
from which proceeded hacking cough.
could not forgive that Exchange.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
A Cancer Scare.

II have had curious and annoying pain
in my neck for several weeks past" said a
man recently, (which finally persuaded
myself must come from an incipient can
Ger. And one morning, after passing a
nervous and restless night, ] resolved to
face the thing out at once. So, instead Of
taking a down town train to my Office,
resolutely rode up town to the skin and
cancer hospital and sought consultation
with the physician in charge there. In five
minutes he had reassured me; the pain WAS
trife, rheumatic, neuralgia, anything
but cancerous, but, do you know said he.
you are the ninth man who has come to
me this morning with false cancer scare.
1t is remarkable he went on, how com
mon this fear is. Every week relieve at
least dozen persons of these imaginary
Affections till / have almost come to be-
lieve that some time or other everybody
has to have his cancer scare. New York
Times.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Pin Money.

Among the presents formerly offered as
New Years gifts were pins, which were
first made in the early part of the Six
teenth century. However trifing such
gifts might now appear it was then highly
valued, as previous to the invention Of
pins clumsy wooden skewers were in use
for fastening garments. In this manner
arose the term ''pin money" in marriage
settlements, the bride stipulating for OF
the groom voluntarily conceding certain
annual allowance with which purchase
what was then deemed luxury.
In time the term came to be applied in
the more extended sense to signify any
sum over which the wife shall have abso-
lutte control, Independent Of her husband.
Though no longer used in legal instru-
ment, the term is still retained colloqui-
ally as denoting stipulated sum for the
wife's private use. ."-Exchange.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
NY NEleAsoR,s BOY.

He seems to be several boys in one,
So much is he constantly everywherel
And the mischievous things that boy has done
No mind can remember nor mouth declare.
He fills the whole of his share Of space
With his strong. straight form and his merry
face.
He is very cowardly, very brave;
He is kind and cruel good and bad
A brute and herol Who will save
The best from the worst Of my neighbor's lad?
The mean and the noble strive today
Whichrof the powers will have its way?
The world is needing his strength and skill;
He viii make hearts happy or make them
ache.
What power is in him for good or I'LL
Which of life's paths viii his swift feet take?
Will he rise and draw others up with him,
Or the light that is in him burn low and dim?
But what is my neighbor's boy to me
More than nuisance? My neighbor's boy,
Though have some fear for what he may be,
Is source of solicitude. hope and joy
And constant pleasure, because pray
That the best that is in him will rule some day.
He passes me by with smile and nod.
He knows have hope of him-guesses, too,
That whisper his name when l ask OF God
That men may be righteous, his will to do.
And think that many would have more joy
II they loved and prayed for neghbor's boy.
London Christian World
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Freeman,s Temper.

never think of Mr.. Parker without at
the same time recalling Mr.. Freeman,
the historian. They squabbled SO hope
lessly over the churches which were Wis
sited during our archaeological excursions
in Somerset that for peace's sake it was
decided that on these occasions Free
man should take the inside of the churches
and that Parker should confine his re-
marks to the exterior part of the building.
Freeman almost invariably assembled the
pulpit, and therefrom> made his observa-
tions on the architecture of the sacred edi-
fee, not sparing the names of those per
sons who in some cases had carried out
what he deemed an injudicious scheme of
restoration. There were those who objected
to being denounced from the pulpit in this
arbitrary manner. But it were pity if
scientific picnics proved as monotonous as
the meetings of that mutual admiration
society, which bores all outsiders to ex-
tinction; there are too many, rather than
too few, smooth people in the world.
Sydney Smith once said of Sir Henry
Holland that 'the was all mucilage, he was
SO very bland" He never would have said
that of Mr.. Freeman, who, doubtless with
the improvement of his fellow creatures in
view. had rare faculty for bullying the
ignorant; those who naturally enjoy the
stagnation of settled opinions The ques
tion is. Who are the ignorants In Mr..
Freeman's classification one was reminded
of the French critic, who simplified mat
ters by saying, "The fact is only and my
friends possess any real knowledge" add
ing, II am not quite so sure, however, con-
cerning Mrs. Anthony Crosse in
Temple Bar.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

On the 10th Of February, 1756. died a
Miss Basnett at the age of twenty three
who was buried in the ehurchyard of old
st. Pancreas, and upon whose tomb the
following lines were placed:
Go. spotless honor and unsully'd truth;
Go. smiling innocence and blooming youth;
Go. female sweetness Joined with manly
sense;
Go, winning wit that never gave offense:
Go. soft humanity that blessed the poor;
Go. saint eyed patience from affections door
Go, modesty that never wore frown;
Go, virtue and receive thy heavenly crown.
Not from stranger came this heartfelt verse
The friend inscrib'd thy tomb whose tear be.
dew'd thy hearse.
-GriDsack
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
BRACE THE NERVES.

Sedatives and opiates won't do 1t. These ner-
vines do not make the nerves strong, and failing
to do this fall short of producing the essential
of their quietude-vigor. And while In extreme
eases land these only--of nervous irritation
such drugs may be advisable, their frequent use
is highly prejudicial TO the delicate organism
upon which they act, and in order to renew
their quieting effect increased and dangerous
doses eventually become necessary. Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters is an efficient substitute for
such pernicious drugs. 1t quiets the nerves by
braeing, toning, strengthening them. The con-
neetion btween,weakness of the nervous sys-
tenn and that OF the organs Of digestion is a
strong and sympathetic link. The Bitters by
imparting healthful impulse to the digest We
and as,imilating functions promotes through
nerves come in for large share. Use the Bitters
in malaria, constipation, bilious and kidney
trouble.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
4 Round q Pleasure il DC courts.

It is claimed that most people go to law
for the mental satisfaction of winning. To
them our Canadian judiciary system must
be most gratifying. They can go from the
county court to superior court judge.
thence to the full court and on to the court
of appeal, then on to the supreme court,
and if they have any money remaining
they may go to the privy council of Eng
land The litigant who does not secure
one or two favorable decisions along the
road must have a hopeless case. Toronto
Globe
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
The Essential Points.

K "What were the particulars Of the acci-
dents" inquired the reporter.
1.-The cable car was going at high rate
of speed " replied the little man, who had
rushed breathlessly into the city editors
room for the purpose of giving The Daily
Bread an item of news Just as 1t turn
ed the corner man in light open buggy
tried to drive across the track. The grip
car struck the buggy squarely, knocked
the man out, and he fell senseless on the
pavement. A policeman arrested the grip
man, and the injured man was carried into
Van Plunk's drug store, right on the cor
ner. Ever been in that drug store? Ele-
gantly fitted up, open nearly all night,
largest soda fountain in that part of town,
and'-
What was the extent of the mans in
juries?"
"He was hurt ON the head, think, but
l didn't wait to see how badly. / jumped
on another car and came right down to
give you the story. In writing it up you
can say
What was his name"
II didn't ascertain"
''Who was the gripmanS"
81 didn't inquire"
do you know the name or number of
the policeman"
mo"
''Then how do you suppose can write
the thing up if you don't give me any
names?"
Great Scotti Haven't / told you he
was carried into Van Plunk's drug store?
What more do you want?"
''Yes, butt
Anybody in that part of town can tell
you who Van PUNK is and what kind
Off
MAY I ask your namer
"Yes, sir. My name is Van PUNK. -
Chicago Tribune
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
GETTING A MOVE.
me- Decided That He Would Gaze From g
Foreign Shore.

No Decided That He Would Care From q
Foreign Shore.
"You will excuse me,n he said to po-
liceman at the foot of Woodward avenue
"but Is this the Detroit riyepi''
''Yes, sir, !" was the reply.
And is that Canada over therei"
eyes, sir. "
Foreign shore, isn't iti"
81 believe it is.
s'Yes, foreign Shore Strange, isn't 1t,
and look upon foreign shoref Do you
feel the sentiment of 1T"
II can't say that ever felt any partic.
ular sentiment, sir"
Nor When you look across to that
foreign shore, your heart does not beat the
fasterS"
"No, sir
"Nor does it swell with pridel"
"No, sir"
"And the tears do not spring to your
eyes as you realize how our forefathers
bled and died that we might call this the
land of the free'"
mo, sir"
"Then you are neither patriot nor an
American. Why, sir, when stand here
and gaze'-
'Move onl" commanded the officer
what forg''
Because you are tight and disturbing
the peace.
"And can't stand here and gaze on
foreign shores"
"No, sir"
VERY well, sir, very WE'LL will take
the boat and cross the river, and from
foreign shore win gaze upon my own
dear native land-yes, sir, gaze for week
if I want to and be hanged to you, sir,
be hanged to youi"
And he clawed his way aboard with
shaking knees and fearful eyes and sat
down to fall asleep before the boat was
half way over-Detroit Free Press.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Richest Of ali in Leavening Pswer Latest US Govt Report
@!A!!! g! RssldRs fs.dsss
ABSOLUTELY PURE
Russian Justice.

Oriental justice sometimes finds par
allel in Russia, where judges and lawyers
see no difficulty in making eccentric deci-
sions and taking the meat of the nut for
themselves, leaving the she'll for plaintiff
and defendant. One day, at a village mar
ket, shoemaker bought a calfskin Of a
farmer for 2k rubles, and having no money
with him went home to procure it.
The farmer meanwhile sold the skin to a
second buyer for three rubles. Then the
original buyer returned, and when he dis
covered the trick that had been played was
10 indignant that quarrel ensued, and the
matter was brought before justice.
"You bought the skin firstg" said the
latter to the shoemaker after listening to
the evidence.
Eyes"
"For how much"
1.-TWO and half rubles."
"Have you the moneyp
eyes"
"Put it on the table"
Then turning to the second buyer the
justice asked, You bought the skin after
ward and paid for its"
"Yes'
"How much did you pay"
"Three rukles."
.You have the skin"
"Yes"
"Put it under the table"
The man obeyed, and the farmer was next
addressed.
'You agreed to sell for ~ rubles, and
as the buyer did not return promptly with
the money you sold to another for three
rubless"
"Yes."
"Have you the three rublesi"
"Yes"
"Put them ON the table"
When this had been done the judge de-
livered his decision. ''The shoemaker is to
blame for bargaining without money and
thereby endangering the peace of the town.
The second buyer is to blame for outbid-
ding another, and the seller for dealing
with people without money. Now all three
of you gol March"
And they went perforce, leaving skin
and money behind them.-Youth's Com
panion.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
An Average Portrait.

Artist (angrily why did you sky my
Portrait of Gentlemani" Can't see it
without stepladder.
Hanging Committeeman--Very sorry;
but, you see, he looks like the sort of
person who would feel more comfortable
up there than down on level with ordi-
nary people. New York Weekly.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Too Much Realism.

o writer's realistic,
Won't you, just to please friend,
Be not so pessimistic
In the way your stories end2
And can't you now and then contrive
To let the lovers we'd,
Nor have the heroine arrive
To find the hero dead2
The fair appearing things OF life
Are not forever bad.
And even in this valeof strife
Are moments that are glad.
Oh, can't you 10 your world Of doubt
Admit II little fash
OF sunlight now and then without
Its going all TO smash?
Quit blasting every happy bud:
Quit clouding every hour;
Quit plastering our gods with mud;
Quit making sweet things sour.
We're tired OF repincrs who
lmbitter every cup.
Ring OIL, ye bilious winners! Do,
For PHYS sake, let upl
Chicago Journal
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
s1oo REWARD. s1oo.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able 10 cure in all its
stages, and that is catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure
Is the only positive cure now known to the med
ical fraternity. Catarrh, being constitutional
disease, requires constitutional treatment.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally. acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF
the system, thereby destroying the foundation
of the disease and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and assisting
nature in doing its work. The proprietors have
SO much faith In Its curative powers that they
offer One Hundred Dollars fol any case that ii
fails to cure. Send for list Of testimonials. Ad.
dress II. j. CHENEY d CO., Toledo, y.
- Sold by druggists; rs cents.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
some JocuLAR lINaLss.
A Orcat scholar.

n Grcot ScnOiurs
he was primed in ancient Ccptic
and the earliest Egyptian,
and old Nlnevite
Inscriptions were TO
= him but
but A BC.
He knew Basque and old Etruscan.
and was voluble in Sanskrit,
and could raad the
Zend Avesta with
great perspi-
caciiy.
And he knew the old Turanian.
and the Javanese and
Hebrew, and the Wam-
panoag dialect,
Hindo0stanee and
the rest,
And the great old ancient
language spoke before the
tower Of Babel, and'all
dialects and idioms
spoke between the
east and west.
But he tried the fashion column
in his wife's domestic paper,
and no slightest truce
of meaning did II
anywhere
betray.
When he tried to decipher
complex crochet de-
scription, 1t brought on,
brain congestion.
and his grave
was dug next
day.
New York World,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Didn't Sell 1t.

A disappointed fish hawker was bella
boring his slow but patient horse in a
at intervals as:
'Herrin, herrin, fresh herrinW
A tender hearted lady, seeing the act Of
cruelty to the horse, called out sternly
from an upper window:
Have you no mercy?"
"No, num-" was the reply. "Nothin
but herrin Boston Home Journal.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
THE Rnsr OF REASONS.

The reason why ALIcocK's Porous PLAs-
TIERS are popular is that they may be relied
on to cure:
l. Lame back, sciatica, stiffness or twitch-
ing of the muscles.
2, Chest troubles, such as pleurisy, pneu-
monia, consumption.
8. Indigestion, dyspepsia, biliousness,
kidney complaint,
The success, however, will depend upon
the genuineness of the plaster used. The
popularity of ALLcocK's Porous PLAsTERs
has been so great that multitudes of imita-
tions have sprung up on every hand. The
only sure cure IL to get the genuine ALL
cocks PoRous PLAsTERs.
BRANDRETH's Pills improve. the .diges-
ton.
"Things seem to be going against me-" said
the tragedian. dodgng hastily behind the seenel
when the fusilade OF frozen potatoes began.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Looked That way.

Grandpa" said Tommy, examining
critically the bald head of his ancestor,
may ask you question:"
Certainly, Tommy"
"Do you comb your hair with razor?"
Tit Bits.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
An Expert.

Seward We're you aware that Noah
understood all about electricity?
Baldwin-No; did her
Seward-Most assuredly. He made the
arc light on Ararat. Brooklyn Life.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

An iron bound bucket, weighing about
sixty pounds. fell distance of twenty
five feet the other day and struck a
Belding. Mich, man squarely on the
head, and did not injure him in tho
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

Denver has the finest school building in
the United States. The superintendent's
office is so arranged that by means Of an
elevator it can be raised or lowered to any
floor
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

Addison wrote his essays in The Spec.
tator to be read at the tea tables Of the
upper classes, and attempted by this neanB
to improve the condition OF society.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10
Grassy.

"He's man of much push. +"
"Yes, indeed His lawn is full acre. y
Detroit Tribune.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

The largest and oldest chestnut tree in
the world stands at the foot of Mount
Etna 1t is 2l3 feet in circumference and
is known to be at least 1900 years old.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

When a man is asked to foot bill how can he
be blamed for " kicking?"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1894-08-10

THY GraMxA for breakfast.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-28
BRIEF MENTION.

Picturesque America'-bring in
your coupons.
o. X. Young. OF Clinton, is in Rock
Island on business. '''''
James Taylor, OF Taylor Ridge,
was in the city today.
Money to loan on real estate secur-
ity. Apply at jackson & Hurst's.
Picturesque Americar--arc Won
getting the series Back Numbers AT
THE ARGUS office. oa ss1INd'oE
The Young Mems Literary club
gave a pleasant social at the Tower
yesterday ,afterno9p,. mo :;
The Rock Island driving track isia
excellent condition and horsemen arc
taking advantage of it.
The ARGUS Picturesque Worlds
Fair" meets with popular approval.
Secure it and preserve it.
Kendall's Pair of Kids are not in
it with those &c Foster kids at
Young & McCombs' special sale. No
trust.
The Thirty dancing club gave the
first party OF its summer series at
Carsc's hall last evening. 1t proved
an enjoyable event.
Tho excursion to Peoria tomor-
row promises to attract large num-
Der Of people and it will he an event
which will be generally enjoyed.
Rebecca degree lodge. IS. has
changed the time of it's meetings
from the second and Fourth FRIDAYS
of each month to the first and fifth
Fridays.
Some of the leading and none but
first-class fire insurance companies
are represented in the agency OF
George l.. Quist. Losses promptly
attended to and paid when proof is
made.
Mr.. and Mrs. Adam Schmitt, Jr..
wish To thank their friends, and
especially the choir of the NJ. F..
church for their kindness during the
illness and death of their little
daughter, Ada Leona Schmitt.
Manager Harry Sage. of the Rock
Island club, left this morning for
Peoria with Andrews, Mcfarland
Sonier. jackson. Connors. Lynch
katz. Cantillon, Zeis and Hill. They
will play games there today and to-
morrow. and will return tomorrow
evening.
The tenth anniversary exercises O.
the Young Mems Christian Associa-
ton will he held at $50 O'Clock
Sunday afternoon, in Association
hall. The program will con
sist of the annual report, reminis-
cences Frank Nader, and an ad.
dress by Uriah Rorabach, of Daven
port. The Svae Male Quartet viii
sing. All friends of the association
are invited.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-28


Editor Henry L. Kiner. of the Gen
eseo News. has WRITTEN The Iliad of
the Kicker" 1t is applicable to al
most every city and town in the
country, and here it is:
Here's ballad to the Kicker. bless
his heart and bless his heels; may he
kick and kick forever, though they
say his head has wheels.
The first thing that the human
does, ere he thinks or does q lick,
some months before he sees the
world, is to kick, aud kick and kick.
And when at last he sees the light,
its dazzling makes him sick; he bats
and blinks his little eyes. and then he
makes a kick,
u %. sires of many numbered sons,
who buy their boots on tick. when
the shoe mans bills come futtering
in, you know how hard they kick.
And when they go to see the girls.
primped up SO mighty slick, the old
man with his number twelves gets up
a mighty kick.
For boys will stay too late some
times, which is measly trick. the
measure OF which latcness is the
measure of the kick.
There's kick about the markets
and kick about the crops; and if
one nefghbor gets ahead the rest are
mad as hops, and call the winning
one blokc. hummer or n brick; ut
everything he says or does, they or
Sanizc kick.
There's kick about the govern
ment; just now they're kicking Hill;
year, or three or four ago. they
kicked Mckinicy's bill; and everv-
body says the land is going to old
Nick. and they get up early in the
morn. and kick and Kick and kick.
Some kick about the silver, and
some kick about the gold, aud ii they
don't get mounds of both, their kicks
are manifold. They say the Cleve-
land government is going all to
sticks. and 15,000,000 voters look
like whirligigs of kicks.
If Darwin's theory is right, .devel.
opment's degree is in ratio with the
use we make, us agents far too free
of brain or Drawn or bone or fang OF
claw since we were eggs; if this is
true, just contemplate the Future OF
our Legs! Our bodies from the
middle up they will be good for nix
but Rhodes Colossus. from thai
down, what well-developed kicks!
| And SO the lamp of life we burn
lit up double wicks, the vital sparl
emitted from our heels in double
kicks. =.
So we go kicking through thi.
world, at one thing and the other
we're kicking at our sister here, and
there kick at our brother; and wher
our Book of Life. is closed, firm t.
our hearts we tuck it, and with .
concentrated Kick we up and kicl
the bucket.