Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-02-01

I hurried through Tween ty-third
street, ciutchinS the handle of the am
brella. and turned the corner and
started up Broadway. had not gone
| !a- when BARRIERS sign caught my
eye. This is my chance thought
to myself. 81 got the accursed thing
in barber shop. and there will leave
it" I went in and was soon having
my hair cut, though the operation was
not demanded. There is something
soothing about a BARRIERS chair: it con-
duces to calm, dispassionate thought;
with an opportune hair cut Cesar
might or might not have plunged inn
| petuously across the Rubicon. 1 saw
| that had so far been acting with too
great haste. Instead of reasoning out
course and following it had been
rushing blindly along, depending
| wholly on chance. 1 rose from the
chair with a firm purpose. The brush
boy handed me my hat. and L turned
quickly and started for the door.
| "Heah's yo' umbrella, sah." said the
boy. as he came in hot pursuit. 1
| turned deliberately, looked at it and
said:
| You've made a mistalze-that is not
my umbrella"
'Must be. sah-yo' brought hit in
heah-yo' wouldn't be carryin' no other
gents umbrella, sah.'
He held the thing up in the glare of
the lights
FL had no umbrella" said. sternly.
| "fo's fo'got, sab. Only umbrella
in the rack-noticed it particular when
you come i'm The BARRIERS had all
stopped work aud half-lathered Gus
toners were rising up in their chairs
| l weakened.
| 81 believe it is NINE" said, as took
it and again fled, while the boy poc!s-
eted his tip and Observed: IBIS yere
amt de shop where ives ever mis-
taken bout no um orcllas."
But l determined to retain my self
composure at any cost of mental strain.
boarded an uptown Broadway car
with another bold resolve in mind. In
cidentally 1 decided to try the car,
though l had small hopes of it AT
Thirty street 1 rose to get off.
leaving the umbrella behind, but met
the reproaehful eye of the conductor
and went hack and picked it up.
! walked east through Thirty-siXth
street. My plan was diabolical in its
nature, but hoped for good results. 1t
was nothing more nor less than to call
on a certain friend and desert the thing
in his hall. In five minutes ] was in his
easiest chair, busily engaged in CONVEX
sation. But do not remember of what
we tallsed-my heart was in the hall,
with the umbrella. l know not how
| long / stayed or how l got away. My
I i -. 80 ILL.,
rapidly along the street-almost run
ning-toward the lights on the corner.
l reached them, lodged around the cor
ncr, caught my breath, then again
stopped breathing eas L heard rapid
steps behind me. Hold on, old man"
said my friend, you're running off
without your umbrella. Madge said it
couldn't be yours. but l told her knew
better. so here it is.'
| "Why, yes, it's mlne-thank you
stupid thing for me to do-sorry to put
you to the trouble" Again it had wound
its tentacles around me. l went down
Madison avenue, and then turned
through Thirty-ffth street and walked
| to Third avenue. / was beginning to
feel desperate again. 1 stopped on the
corner, stood the umbrella against q
lamp post and pretended to button my
glove Then l walked off with as
sumed carelessness. A small boy chased
after me, restored my umbrella. and
| did not refuse quarter for his kind
ness. l turned in at a cheap concert
hall and sat ten minutes, but of course
beer-bespattered waiter overlook me
at the door with it. l gave him a dime.
walked down the avenue clutching
| my inanimate enemy in both hands.
| Overhead the elevated trains roared. l
looked at their disappearing red lights,
and entertained a wild notion of hurl-
ing the umbrella up on the platform
of one of them. Then / turned my
thoughts in the opposite direction and
considered stuffing it down sewer
opening. But there were too many
people about for either move. 1 went
on under the suffering arc lights and
among the drifting crowd of people till
1 reached Fourteenth street. A news
boy stood on the corner smoking the
stub of a cigarette. 1 walked up to
him and held out the umbrella
| Sonny said 1, don't you want an
UMBRELLA"
Mean t give it ter feller?"
Yes"
| He looked at it again and then up at
me, and said, with virtuous indigna-
ton:
Does yer take this fer a fence?
Mebby l don't know Con O'Connell.
W'ere's Con to-day? Con received stolen
goods. an w'ers is he now. l ask yer?'
He turned on his heel and walked away.
l went through Fourteenth street
meditating deeply. Before l reached
Broadway l had determined to go over
| into old Greenwich village and see what
| could do. 1 felt that l knew every
crook and turn of Greenwich. l am
one of those that love the Ninth ward.
and have the courage of my love; live
there. Many others love it. and write
gIowingly about their love. but they
are found living above Fifty-ninth
street, and sometimes it is necessary to
penetrate Harlem to find their homes,
or even to make a trip into Brooklyn.
zigzagged across town to Seventh
and Greenwich avenues, and turned
down the latter. AS / passed the
| end of Perry street, in which l lived,
| encountered my friend, Officer Doc
ney, standing majestically on the out
post of his dominions. l have always
| made it pract ice to cultivate the Of
| ficer on the beat where l live.
"a foine evening it is, sor," observed
| Officer Dooney.
YES" l replied.