The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1894-10-05

Old Nam White was character OF
prominence in "a small Maine town some
years ago He was the local liar, Of whom
the town was justly proud, for it was said
he could give "pints to AIRY other critter in
the caouutry, an then beat him at yarnin
it. without hafr tryin.n Noone could tell
a bigger or more impossible story than
White. If they attempted it, the old sin
ner would not rest until he had invented
some yarn that completely put his rival to
route. Sometimes he "cut his own fin
gers" in "A most decided manner, but he
would never acknowledge it, and he
promptly got angry on having slips of the
kind pointed out to him.
One night as party of us sat around a
comfortable fire in the big wood stove of
the village grocery, the men began telling
about large loads of various kinds they
had seen drawn by cattle After listening
in silence for long time, Old Man White
Strengthened up, took in new "chaw'
and cleared his throat for action In mo
ment, everybody was listening in an at
tentive manner, although significant winks
and mods passed around the circle.
"Talkn abaout big loads r'minds me, "
| drawed White, speaking through his nose
with the genuine down east twang. " y ear
/ ago last hayin hawled in the gaul ding
]
/ | sold Jed Blaisdel hain't gin to work
/ in on Sunday, AS everybody knows, but it
/ happened | he'd slathers of hay in the cock,
an / saw an all fired big shower a-comin
up Thar wasn't one of the men araound
the place. rs they'd all gone off fishin, but
Jest hollers to my wife to come aOut an
give me hand, an then yoked the steers
/ an kted right aout inter the field,
"Auybody as knows anything abaout
me knows I'm purity good man at pitch
In on So told the old woman to jest git
mp inter the rack an tread an take keer
didn't bury her She done 1t, an | will
say she's Jest abaout the best man mt build
in IA load | ever saw, by gum The way
tossed them cocks up inter that rack an
braided them air steers araound that there
field wus Il caution to cats.
"Well, | kept a-pilin an buildin an
Nancy kept a-treadin. Purity soon the load
got 50 high he'd to toss the cocks up, an
jest kept the air full of 'em till Nancy
she yelled whoa Then she sed the load d
never ride to the barn 'thout goin to
pieces, but l lowed | could fix that got
a biudin pole an hitched it forrud an aft,
though | didn't hev "A very good rope to
make it fast at the back To fix this,
jest told Nancy to put her weight onter ii
an bear down fer all she wus with.
"By this time, it he'd begun ter rain, an
| lest braided them steers till they went
fer ther barn a-kitin. When ther front
wheels struck the sill at the door, the back
rope a-holdin the bindin pole bruck The
old woman was squattin on that end
an when the pole tipped up it jest sent hel
right up over the roof of the barn. That
air load was so blamed heavy that then
steers, bein new shod, he'd to git down al
scratch, an they ripped up every plank OF
the barn floor jest as fast as they passeC
over IL, by gumr
The old man stopped, and somebody
ventured to inquire:
"Wus your wife hurt? | sh'ud thought
it'd killed her wien she struck.
"She struck on the load of hay" said
White
"Why, the hay wus in the barnW
"Not much! Them steers got ter gOin Sc
fast they couldn't stop, an they took the
load clean through an uout the from
doors Lucky they did, fer jest then the
old woman came sailin over the barn lik'
a balloon an struck right on the load
'thout tOuchin another thing, Never hur
her hair, by juXn
There were several moments Of profounC
silence, broken by the same inquiring in
dividual who had spoken before.
"But you sed the shoes of the steers rip
ped up the planks of the floor right along
Haow'd they haul the load throughy'
Old Man White bridled up in an instant
. "Haul it through, you gaul dern chug
. head" he snorted. "Why, they jest yank
/ ed it along so blamed fast the load didn'
hev time to drop through the loorl Haoy
/ in thunder'd you think they hauled
through. An if they hadn't hauled
, through my wife'd be dead now. She
+ livin-that's proof they hauled it through
: If airy critter thinks it amt proof, let hin
q say so ter me right nOwN'
And nobody said word.
! GILBERT PATTEN