The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-08-12
ETC, ETC.

| dollar to doughnut that Mcdonald
is retained on the force. Chief Pratt's
eloquence is too powerful, they say, to
admit of any other decision by the
board of police and fire commissioners.
'T want to say" said Sergeant Ford.
before the police and fire commission.
the other day, that served eight years
J in the army as drill master and sergeant.
and L hatter myself that l know IS
wards, well, he was the only man ever
met that l could not learn. OF course,
If l had year to spare l think probably
l could learn him, but haven't had the
time"
Kelly and Fry's dupes are now headed
for the coast. The people of Utah who
cheered the men on their wild goose
chase cannot do less than see that they
are properly fed and cared for as they
pass through the territory on their re-
turn.
A learned M. D. says the reason the
eye winks is in order to spread over the
lid. At soda fountain, however, this
proposition does not hold water.
Impetuously he pleaded.
Must 1 waltz he demanded. you
have plighted your troth to me. Do not
keep me in agony. Is long engagement
necessary"
She hung her head in sweet confusion
and was silent.
How long?" he cried.
At last her lips moved.
Long enough
A wave of color swept across her face.
Ito get my hat L can put on my
That seemed quite satisfactory.-Detroit
Tribune.
application at this time:
"Stranger-Do you belong to this city?
'Denizen-Naw; Oh don't; the city be-
longs TO me. Ofm member of the
foorce.-Boston Transcript.
Those boomers are out again, and it is
noticeable that they are growing tighter
each week. If the present rate of Shrink
age continues it will not be many moons
ere one will be unable 70 distinguish be-
tween the advent of a circus procession
and an outing of the Four Hundred.
A sensation is promised in Judge Nor
reH's court tomorrow when a dozen or
more of the young bloods whose names
very frequently appear in the society col
umns will be arraigned on the charge of
assault and battery-the sequel of a night
trip to the lake.
There is a long and loud howl from
Republicans of the Fourth precinct, it
being alleged that Lipmann and Leonard
are endeavoring to prove that they are
bigger men than old Grantr' Pride
goeth before a fall.
Those long talks by moonlight. that non
sense profound,
Where. the waves sing their mythical
layi
1t is dreadful to think how the same
things would sound
If said in the full light of day.
-Ex
A well known physician says: 'My ex-
perience is that If professional and all
office men would ride a short distance on
their safeties daily with head up and
shoulders well back, they would have less
dyspepsia and nervous troubles, and life
would be enjoyed with greater zest.'
But how about the riders who affect
the hump'-the racing position when
they are merely out for pleasure?"
1.-The less said the better; the less rid
ing, the more healthy they will be-"
The demand for chaperones by middle
aged gentlemen in Salt Lake will not be
so great as was first anticipated. Made
line Pollard has no present intention of
coming further west than Manitou. The
story that she had reached Salt Lake
yesterday was untrue.
DIR. FELL.