The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1894-04-01
APRIL FOOL MEMOIRS.
sgvERIL NBwsP<PEh MEN TELL
rHEIR ExPBKIBNcEs.
Tas Xxx Deacon Reporfsr-A story OF '"
wealthy Chines who once 1--we" ."
Manchester.

seal on All-FooIs Day. for II happened
ON that very day. and always ''"'e
4, on the list Of April. | was at ina
ti,oe one OF the dcac0ns in couhu,
church not very far frfn lyncnDuls, - =
WAS before 1 went INTO the "'~HSD
business. and I took an intense 80
an those DAYS in collecting FUNDS wiz
which TO reform the heather Cni"e0.
I was At the head OF the Foreign MISSION
,novcmenf in the church. That morinhh
twenty society men from the I'M c''s'
who had been on a camping Nac"''o" -
the neighborhood for several days cam,
20 church. when the sermon was over
announced to the congregation 'i"' -
was the day on which the anhudi l',i' /,
sionary collection would be thheh' an"
boned everybody would give Freely.
called attention 10 the fact that envelopes
couid no found in each seat. Ihen oiu
pro,ber Smith and / began 10 take the
couection when we got 10 the CITY ue'c-
sat,on every mothers son OF theH ot"p-
ned his envelope in the box. couiu ia
The circumference Of the COINS tnlo
the thin paper. evidently SILVER na'i -,
lars The young men impressed me WIN
49,. ,,ror3l3ty Dudes were not accus-
,nr,ed 10 contribute freely 20 our church
expenses. ,,,.,,issoa
sfter the congregation was dlsmisseu
,.,tbered m the envelopes, and an houf
later was eating my big sunday uiuhei
az BROTHER Smiths home. Dinner over
we broke open the envelopes. Inc COZ
lection was a very satisfactory one Wheh
the contributions Of the young men apVNe
referred to were reached was pu~|ieu
TO find in each envelope either reu ., "
Nine wheel about the size Of hall-ooi-
lar. o.. .,.oa an
''Why, what are these ashe"' "P
..oo1tx,, ~ brother Smith.
"Rless me. If / know said ne
"Hat Hai Haw laughed the deacon
u,.,.ao,,-1aar-old son. who had returned
The day before from Lynchburg; IN 20
you ten better.
That settled it,
This IL a case Of. kinder dog eat DOG
or, more reverenuy speaking Oh one
EDITOR making a fool of another. IL was
tns, ,brea wears ago. Cabell Trueman
vas then city Editor Of the Times. Zen
ouans was. as now, the guiding
star of the Manchester Leader and J.
VII had been a reporter just long
enough TO know il all, in my own oplnloh'
and Ia be able to work Manchester i'll
the opinion Of my betters.
some how none of the Times STAFF had
heen Impressed with the fact that II
was April Fools day. | sauntered INTO
the office from the Manchester Couhcii
about 10 o'clock at night and found the
city Editor in protuberant state OF
mind lie accosted me with, What nave
Won got about that Chinese story IN Man
chester" / had heard nothing about IL
and had 10 confess.
lowell YOU had better get back there IN
n hurry Look at this Leader
There IL was. nearly two columns OF
a 1ttt.u I oval .la
the Leader and started for Manchester.
AS | rode along in the last car over. and
thinking Of the walk back to Richmond
/ read a story in substance about like
this:
About twenty years ago poor detected
Chnaman unable TO speak a single word
of English, found his way 20 Manchester
and opened a laundry. He struggled
along for several months and waged con-
tinual warfare on the mischievous boys
who tormented him. but work as he might
his failure to understand the language
made It impossible for him TO make a
living and he sunk TO the very depths
of poverty. Finally about half a dozen
of his tormentors dubbed together with
the avowed purpose of befriending him
and OF teaching him TO speak English
They after much difficulty gained his
His business begun TO prosper and after
several months of hard work and gooc
pay he decided to go back to his celestial
home and take his earnings with him
The Leader had just learned from a
most reliable source that the poor Man
chester Chinaman was none other thar
a banshed member of "a celestial roya
family-a brother of the Emperor him
self-Who had been banished because OF
his ambition TO the throne, and that hi.
royal brother had repented of his harsh
ness. The outcast had been called bach
and all his rights and property restored
10 him. The Leader had also learned
that the former outcast had recently
died. and that he had left vast wealth
80 those boys who had been kind to
him y hen he was a stranger in a strange
land. The article gave the names OF
the boys. all Of whom had grown mn Il
be men OF influence as residents of Rich
n.Cnd and Manchester.
BY the time i had finlshed the articl
was nearly green with envy because
had not been born In Manchester thirt
years before. But what was that! di
my eyes deceive me! Mo- IL ended wit
these words. And IL all happened o
April the First"
Well, / got off that car and trampe
back to Richmond. ard after L had gentl
called Cabell Truemans attention TO thos,
quoted words. and had looked my look OF
disgust, and when the fellows in the office
, had caught on" that City Editor -goul
not have sold at auction.
When | was a small boy living i'm a
small town, l was purveyOr 10 a house
hold in which there were a few choice
. boarders: that is. / went TO market, &c
the srocer's. and did most Of the select
ing and buying for table that was
furnished with great care and delicacy.
Late In March the market was very
bare. the roads were deep in mud. an(
the usual source OF supply was cut Off
A late spring had made dairy supple.
also very scarce | paid forty cents
pound for butter. and then fifty cents
and towards the end Of the month would
scour the town for It, and be glad 10 pa,
seventS-hve cents a pound in order I,
appeasc the demands OF our swell board
ers.
After a day Of hunting for butter away
into the night; searching every httl,
out-of-Ihe-way grocery without success
and being requited for my DAYS har,
work with dissatisfied frown, i wen
TO bed disguised and tired.
My elder sister awoke me early N
the morning with the days paper i'm hel
hand and pointed 10 a small reading adj
vertisement, saying that Mr.. John Smith
the grocer at No. PIG Main street, hat
received large quantity OF Mrs. John
sons famous butter. from a blue gras.
county in Southwest Virginia. Price 2
cents.
IL was a matter of "a few minutes II