davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
european Advertisements.
L-COMFORTING.
EpPS'S COCOA.

T-~uPPER.-'iiy a thorough knowledge
Of the natural which govern the operations OF 81.
and by careful application ~ tho
Inc properties Of wcaclocted Cocoa Mr. Epps has
vldei for breakfast and decatey Favored
beverage whca save us many heavy doctors bills
is by Of such articles OF diet that \
Constitution may be gradually built until strong
enough resist every tendency disease" Hundreds u
malidlos floating around us ready 10 attack
wherever there IS weak poLt We may escape many
keeping ourselves well fortified with
HOOD and n properly nourshed fran" civil Service
Gazct,e Made simply with boiling water or milk Sold
only in pound tins. by groccrs. labelled thus
June, Epps ~ Co.. Ltd. Homeopathic Chemist.
London EnE1nnd.
EUROPEAN ADVERTISERS viii find the
~ London Office The Tribune No | Norfolk ST.
Strand W. c. convenient place to leave their advertise
unents publication In Tho Tribune
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
Dnsincss Cbanrcs.

PARTNER wanted with s3, 600 In O legi-
timato cash business established p years
maiIing net profit Of 1000 " so 900
books shown; uncxccpiionablc references
ard security given; no bonus property
now on hand Apply FLYNN s. TRAVEK.
Room %, 20j Broadway.
STEAM LAUNDRY for sale. paying
over $500 net per year. Inquire MT.
KLOOD 10 Wa ren.st.
WANTED.-Ysrtyo or parties - buy In.
tact most valuable invention for United
States and Cana..a; an unusual chance for
the formation Of q company IN device Of
great magnitude and the coming property
In It's line; patents fully covered and 10 be
sold 10 the hi ghest BIDDER; VIII negotiate
with principals only no AGENTS; hdddess
adelphia, Penn.
si75-GREAT SAcRIFICE.-Lad going
70 Chill; elegant loop-front lady's top phac:
ton. used weeks; fine harness, laprobc and
holly whip cost S494 so. PRIVATE STA
ELE, 10 West 4lth-st.
500 PER CENT on working cap Ia for
best gold ininc ever offered In Ncw.Yofk.
Address FINANCE. 8; Church-st.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06

IN the Liberator Building Society frauds 'The
LINES s. correspondent says that Bafour declared
aIstt ne was preparing statement which would in
ciHlinate several public men In frauds Balfour
also expressed his confidence that the Argentine law
would prevent eXtradition.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
Conntrp Hfal Gstnte for Sale


AGENCY FOR MONTCLAIR.-l.c.i-
cencc properties. all sind, sale or rent;
furnished houses TUBES & TAYLOR.
ll,, KMdli-st.. y. y.
4 FEW CHOICE FARMS IN bergen,
Morris, Somerset. Union. Monmouth Md.
d csox and Sussex Counties. y. j.. for sale
upon easy trns only small cash paf.
mciit required. For particulars apply
personally or by mail b. HENRY 9. CAR
MtK. 81 Nassau-,t., Ncw.York.
EAST ORANGE. N. J.-Dcsirablc prop
erty for ssic: furnished and unfurnshed
houses 10 rent. s. d. CONDIT. Oppo Ito
prlck Church Station.
FARM FOR SNIF.-1CO acres. adjoining
beautiful New-Fneland village: 10 Mn-
ufcs' walk depot concrete sidewalk: rich
soil. fruit; comfortably house In village:
extra good b0rn. l4OX,O; running water
at house and barn; - cows; retail milk
iouf" daily income: hatPain. Address
OWNER, Fox s, Tribune OiiCe.
tOE SALE. 10 close estate. or 70 lease
for years. two houses. near station have
been rented as nrst-class family hotel
principals. Address FNE( UTOR. 1877
Westerycltave.. New.BflP hton. 6. ].
ORANGE. y. J.-This vicinity special
" residences for sale and rent. T.. j.
HAMILTON e. CO.. 06 broadway. I'd floor.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
miscellaneous.

ATTENTION .-Oid Six and derby hats
manufa.turd new 10 lat"st style; cheap
satisfactory nt guaranteed 40 years Pre-.
ticc. call for gooi,. HAhI - ~
0th-aNc.
CONSTLTArION FREE.-Dlvorc' prl-
yately: s.raraflon~. Gcsc,tion-' wife sup
unrt DAMAGES obtained cole 'tiOIs pri-
,atc Information. legal evidence: pros
cuic-. defends. WESrLO Dcte tive
and Law Agency. ~ Broadway.
HIGHEST PRICES pad f'r Col"rh an
-tft.n- 20. > e.. irc. al - p 7 LOO.
POSTAGE STAMP collections wanted :.
old stamps left on letter, iec'lNr b,tt
urlros. address. giving fuil particulars,
GEORGE WARD. - las. I0th-st.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
HOSTILE TOWARD AMERICAN IMPORTS
RUSSIA MAY ENFORCE REPREsSIvE MEASURES
AGAINST SOME or THEM AND AGAINST
FRENCH GOODS.

London, Feb. 5-A dispatch 10 the United Press
from ST. Petersburg says that upon Inquiry at the
Russian Treasury Department 1t was learned that
DR.. Witte, Minister OF Finance. had determined In
the OF the adoption by France Of an increased
grain tariff not to renew the commerclal treaty
between the two countries but to adopt retaliatory
repressive measures. These measures. II was added
would also be enforced against several American
imports.
said that American grains are everywhere super
sedng Russian, and he added that Russia would
rather not be friends with people who care for
nothing but their profits. Russia he further
SAID was able TO get along without imports from
France and America.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06

LADf'S MAID.-By thoroughly ex.
perlenced lady's maid; used 20 entire
charge OF la9y's wardrobe: excellent dress.
maker and hairdresser good packer: city
reference. Address 222 6th-ave.. hair store,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
furnlshe0 Gouse tUunte0.

WANTED.-T NOv"mI or. 10y small
family. a completely furnished house IN the
country. CONVENIENT 10 city must have an
acre o. two Of ground Addm-., stating
! M AMI othcr particulars. RENPCNSi-
BILE, Box 40, Tribune once.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
A BRITISH STEAMER WRECKED.
HER CREW sAvED-CATTLE LOST AT SEATTLE
CoREAN TO SAIL THIS wEEK-THE NOR

MAMMA AT BELFAST
London, Feb. 5-The British steamer Scots Greys.
Captain Johnson. which sailed from Cardiff on
January II for Puerto Cabaos has been wrecked
at Silver Bank. Her crew have arrived at Porto
Plata, San.o Domingo.
The British steamer Bolivia, Captain Baxter, at
Glasgow from New-York lost ninety head OF cattle
on the voyage. The British steamer Norwegian.
Captain Christie. also at Glasgow from New-York,
lost twelve head OF cattle. Both vessels report hav
ing experienced heavy weather.
The Allan Line steamer Corean which put back
for repairs last week, after having encountered a
heavy storm. Is nearly ready to resume her voyage
TO the United States Her captain proposes 10 sail
next Thursday from Kirush, the Shannon River.
ireland, where she has been pumped out and re-
paired. Most of her passengers and crew object TO
starting on her for NewYork before she shall have
been surveyed by the Board Of Trade.
The INSTRUMENTATION steamer Normannia.
which was damaged by tidal wave on January /.
on her trip out from New-York. arrived to-day at
Belfast She will be repaired in the yards of Har-
land & Wolff and probably will be ready for sea by
Apr
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
Citn Real Cstate for Sale.

RIVERSIDE DRIVE. corner 1Osth., St
Substantial. artistic. detached h9use; lew
fKOVTMENr CO.. Is broadway.
building. good Investment: bargain quick
buyer: might exchange. NIXON. 90 Bway.
95TH.ST.. between Central Park and
Colrmtus-ave. three story hfgh-stoor cabl-
net finish house, decorated and ga M
lures $4,000; STEVENS, Columns
ave. cor. p3d-st.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06

been summoned TO Rome. To-day Cardinal Ram
polla. Papa Secretary Of State authorized the
United Press again TO deny the report.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
Drrssmakinq.

.-,-->-~-->>->>~~---- -'-->->--~~-----
ARTISTIC DREssMAKING; imported
,.sntons. hotel orders at short notice and
monrr,ie prices Ms. ELiiDY, ~ E,~t
IIth.st. between Bway and University
pace.
ATTISTIC DRE,sMAkING; unique
dos'ct,. uorlecf-itting Costumes; from SI2
up. Nine. OwEN, lo7 IVES; 22d--t.
ARTISTIC DKf.ssnAKEE nr.t.class
u,,Sr desires m3rr engagements by the
S,v in frst.class families; highest r,fcr-
encce. D.. .5i sth-avc.
-01;t1~~MAkING and millinery taught;
c-o.scs and hats made IN latest style at
nanic prices: satisfaction guaranteed; ret.
eremces given. SCI ODER Il COLE. ga
0th-aNe.
DKEsSMAKER wishes customers at
home: iadie,' aud chllGrrn's dresses. Ar
dress d.. H7 East ioth-st.
DEt.ssMAKEK. experienced, wishes
ENGAGEMENTS in private families; 81
day. Mrs. HAVENS. III fa.t lOlsi-st.
DEEssMAkEH wants a few more Gus.
FOX. 81. Yves. soth-st. near Riverside
Drive. -- -
FRENCH DREssliNkER, from Doucet
and Felix. wants cng,g nent BY month IN
family: cuttr, litter AID designer; iirst-
class rcfef"lce Adore, H.. Box 30.
/ -. Broadway.
SEAL sACpUFS rc1yca repaired or
made into fashionable caIrs O. reduced
,r,ccs. Mrs. BARK ER. 10 Wcs. 39th-
- late with Gunthcrs Sons. oth-ave.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
u)ork Wante0.


Males.
A. WIN. L.. IlARTUNG,
Expert Accountant ana Auditor,
Barnes Building. Room ~, II Park Row.
a GERMAN young man. 20 yeats OF
age, year, In the grocery business is
willing Ia do any Kind or work best ref
ercncc. Address b. SCiIIEMEK, 10 East
l2th-st.
A POSITION as privilege porter; 10 TO
10 years reference. Il. BROWN. 20
Mlnnetta Lane.
a GENTLEMAN OF experience and re-
sponslbillty u open ~ engagements Whcic
tact. diplomacy aud secrecy are necessary
requisites; references AGdrcs, DiPLU.
MACY. Bon q, Tribune once.
YOUNG MAN, Swedc. age -. wishes
SITUATION OF any KIND not AFRAID or
WORK. Address lO0 BloOmncld-st., HO-
boken. n. J.
a MIDDLE-AGED business man. com.
pctent and reliable. would Ike position
In office, warehouse or storo understands
bookkeeping salary moderate. a. O., BOX
., Tribune once
4 POSITION vented by an honest man.
ss cashier collector. or as bartender: has
worked IN each line before NJ not IN This
city can furnish $500 cash security.
JAMES COMMONS. Equitable Hotel. 2i0
Granc-st.
BOoKkEEPER and sTENOGEAPiER
seeks position thoroughly compctcnt. quick
and accurate; III years experience eN-
cnilcn. record 1VIMEY. AZ 9fh-st.
Brookiyn.
BookKEEPER cxpcrlcncci, COMPETENT.
much or li.io tinc as NAV be rc1uirrJ
whenever wanted references. j. u. =.
100 West l03dst.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
Urged By THE KAISER.
Az EARNEST APPEAL FOR CONFIRMA-
TON OF THE RUSSIAN CONVENTION.

rrr1tyG THE DEPUTIES At CAPEIvrs DINNER
THAT REJECTION or THE TREATY WOULD
BE FOLLOWED BY A. TARIFF WAR
AND LATER BY ACTUAL WAR
TIE CARS LOVE OF PEACE
Berlin, Feb. 5.-COunt Won Caprivi's parlia-
mentary dinner, which preludes the final strug
gle over the Russian commercial treaty, was
held this evening at the Chanceor's palace, in
Wilhelm Strasse. Emperor William was pres
ent and talked almost constantly with other
guests. Among the men Of Cabinet rank in the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
flats 90 Get, Hnfurnishe b

THE DALHOUSIE, 40 70 40 West
6yth-st.-An also utcly 1rcpoof house,
fronting Central Park very choice apart
ment 10 rent Apply 30 the janitOr.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
Dnsiness Chances.

=. ATTENTION. DRUGGISTS -Baryain.
90 minutes out IN q city OF $1,000;
$1,000, stock. DxtUrc, and business Of 20
years Established drugstore. PARTICULARS
HODGES. l71 broadway; Room ~
ATTENTION. COAL MERCHANTS
Bargain, hour out in city $4,000 property,
business and stock (by inventory. OF "
years. established coal and wood business.
Particulars. HODGES, 176 broahway'
EvOm A..
4 FEW HIGH-CLAss oil paintinrs IN
exchange for Jewelry or clothlhR n'auc "
CHEMICAL ANAhYsIs.-Toods. paints,
analysed ana working formulas FURNISHED:
metals assayed. circular free. EARL
CHEMICAL WORKS. 11G2 Broadway
GAS WORKS for sale at very low
price, in good town Of 1000 inhaDitailyc,
near Ncw.York. Address INVESTMENT
~ Church st.
Ii you HAVE store or business OF
any kidd you wish sold quickly, without
publicity. or want partaer, apply MDoN-
AID & WIGGINS, 40 Nassan-st.
IMPORTANT U. s. PATENT for sale;
Bells ba.I-bcaI lngs for all vehicles, square
or octngDn axle no boxing In hub no as
placement OF balls upc, reGoyJl OF WIZ 81.
EDWIN MOORE. ~ Coolniinc Road.
Toronto, Ont.
TO MANUFACTURERS sites;
capital furnished 10 build power furnished.
eS5 horsc yearly other indiicoments; nearby
city. T.. DErOREST SHELTON & co..
stewart Building.
ADVERTISEMENTS AND SUBSCRIP.
TONS FOR THE NEW.YORK TKlB.
uNE WILL RE RECEIVED Ar THE
UPTOWN OFFICE. No. 1.2a2 Broadway.
= door north Of Thirty-lrst-st. and AD-
NEkTlSEMENTS at the following Branch
corner Forty-scvcnth.st $50 East Forty.
eevcnth-st corner Third.ave.; 100 East
l25th-st.. near Third-aye. 1,o28 Third-ave,
near sixty-nrst st: LOS Firstaye.; 100
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06

TIoNs FOR THE NETWORK TRID.
UNE WILL BE RECEIVED At THE
UPTOwN OFFICE, No. 1872 Broadway.
REFRESHMENTS at the following Branch
Officcs: 2J4 Eighth-avc.: 100 Third,ave..
corner Forty-seventh-st.: I59 East Forty.
i25th-st., near Third-avc.. 1.02G Thrd-ave.
near sixty-frst-st.: 1.70S First.ave;; 100
west Fnrfv-secnnd- st.: 1872 Columbus-av
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06

A CATHOLIC CONGRESS TO MEET IN ROME.
Rome. Feb. "a Catholic Congress. the holding
Of which was forbidden in Naples, has been sum-
moned to meet In this city February Is. The
Pope has ordered that the proceedings shall be
private. In order not TO irrita.e the Government.
Cardinal Rampolla Papal Secretary Of State, has
written a letter to Count Nun, who at recent
bye-electlon In France was returned to the Chamber
OF Deputies. congratulating him upon his election.
The Cardinal says that the Counts success Is en-
couraging TO social and political action as II Is in
consonance with the Papal policy In France
BALFOUR UNWILLING TO SUFFER ALONE
London Feb 5.-"The Times publishes inter-
view with Jabez Spencer Balfour. now under arrest
In the Argentine Republic, awaiting extraditon to
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-06
ANOTHER COLLISION IN SIERRA LEONE

BRITISH MILITARY POLICE RETURN THE FIRE
OF FRENCH FORCE KILLING SIX MEN
London. Feb. "a dispatch from Sierra Leone
says that detachment Of British military police
encamped in the Sofa country were recently fired
upon by French force. The British returned the
fire and killed six Of the French force. Several Of
the attacking party were captured.
1t only a short time ago that a force OF
British consisting of members OF the West India
Regiment and detachment Of military police, the
latter commanded by Captain Lendy, were fired
upon near Warna by a French force. Who II was was
Captain Lendy. Lieutenants Liston and Boughton.
a sergeant and twentysix privates were killed The
british at returned the fire. and soon after
ward the French retired. Lieutenant MaritZ, COM
mandng the French force. was wounded and was
captured by the British He explained that the at
tack was mistake on his part, as he thought that
the British were natives.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1894-05-05
AHEAD OF THE coWcATcHER,

How the Electric Headlight IL Now
Used on Numerous Railroads.
The electric headlight is now used
on many railroads, and W. d. Sparks,
who Is interested in q southern road,
rece ntly told q writer that his COM
pany had found II very profitable
investment. The lights cost about
1878 each, fixed on the locomotive,
and they cost no more than the oil
light to maintain. The old headlight
would not throw its light on a very
dark night more than $50 feet, and 1t
is impossible for an engineer to slow
up his train in that distance, even
with the emergency brake. Quite an
item in the expense Of the road used
to be claims for cattle killed.
During the rainy season the lands
along the line Of road become very
wet-in places they are entirely Gov
! cred with water and the cattle come
upon the track seeking some dry spot
ON which to sleep. When the old
headlight was in use as many as thir-
teen cows have been killed ut one
time and she damage claims have
sometimes amounted TO over $1,000
per month. Now the electric light
throws its rays from half TO three
quarters Of 4 mile in front Of the en-
CINE. Distractions can be easily seen
ut that distance and some of the en-
gineers insist that q switch disk can
be more easily made out by II ut night
than In the daytime. The lights,
moreover. do away with switch lights,
which is quite saving 10 roads that
use them TO any great extent Mr..
Sparks says that the engines using tho
electric headlights on his road have
never killed . cow, and he h confident
that the saving in stock claims alone
will more than pay for all the head
lights on the road within two years.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1894-05-05
THE KODAK FIEND,

Oh, doan' go out, LAS, doan' go out
For de kodak fend he's all about:
You know yo' features mighty plain,
An he haunt de street an de meader-lane,
He sets in de kyar wen de kyar goes by,
An de railroad one, he's mighty sly:
He doan' care weder you clean or not.
An he'll take 20 rags right on de spot.
Eff he do il now wild yo' 'lasses face.
l tell you. Las, you'll be n disgrace.
No, doan' go out. Lias, doan 90 out.
For de kodak fiend he's all about:
He come down hyar de oder day.
An he TUX dis shanty wen Is away;
An he drove in front de goats an geese.
An de ole lame sheep. wild his thick black
| fleece;
De hats in de window an rags he got,
Wild his hoodoo gun. f'om de meader-lot.
oh. de kodak fiend. he's sly an mean.
An you can't go out near his machine,
Or he'll take You down wild yo kinked-up
hair.
An yo' dirty clothes. an yo feet all bare.
He's got de meader. de bridge an stream,
An de boss's mule an d ole OK team;
An doan' now reckon single spot
Dat he hasn't look for an hasn't got
Wen yo Uncle Nose rode on de mule.
An brought de chil'en home f'om school
Wild six pom de small mules boiler back
De kodak fiend went long his track.
An just's dey reached de ole stone wall.
He sot is gun. an he tux dem all:
An hear he call his hoodooed thing
''De School-out. Mule-Back Blackberry
String"
So tell you. 'Lias. faint safe any more
For specific folks to 60 outdoor:
Mess dey go in de edge OBJ night.
Wen de sun an de gun is out o sight.
Joel Benton In Century.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1894-05-05

An international conference Of the
y. NJ. C. A. general secretaries Of the
United States. Canada and Mexico
convened in Cedar Rapids, Ia, with
$50 secretaries present.
One thousand men have been dis.
charged from the Canadian Pacific
railroad service between Montreal
and Vancouver, owing to the slackness
Of business.
The Vernon county. Missouri. Dem
ocratic convention adopted resolutions
expressing deep" disappointment in
the course Of President Cleveland re-
lating 10 the coinage of silver" etc.
Governor Stone was among the dele
gates elected 10 the state convention
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1894-05-05
AN HISTORIC CLOCK.
which licked While Washington Was
mt the Lodge.

The grand lodge of Masons in New
York has just come into possession OF
very interesting relic in the shape OF
grandfather's clock that struck the
hours for Yorktown lodge in the
troubled days when George Washing
ton, Lafayette AMI other officers OF
the Continental army used to visit 1t
and attend its sessions. The lodge
ceased to exist in 1872, and the old
clock was probably sold with the rest
Of the furniture. 1t was uncarthed in
Baltimore pawnshop by DIR. A. b.
Lyman OF Lyman. Nd.
The doctor, who Is o prominent
Mason, had his attention attracted by
the figuring on the dial which proved
to be a Masonic block. lie traced back
its history and established beyond
doubt that it was made for the York
town lodge in 1891 by John Fisher
whose name and home town are en-
graved on the dial. Remembering the
historical associations of that lodge h.
was not slow in rescuing it from the
junk shop. The clock has been p,ac.d
in the east end of the library Mt the
Masonic temple. 1t is an eight'day
clock, in u mahogany cass aud stands
about eight feet high. Oh the brass
dial are engraved the Mas >nic square
and compass, the columns and :he
Masonic pavem mt, with the name,
"John Fisher, Yorktown"
1t shows the day OF thc' month and
the phases of the moon correctly. The
moon is represented By tn, face of a
young damsel with very ruddy cheeks
that is alternately hidden behind a
brass earth AMI brIss sun, while the
stars of the firmam mt stare In Won
der.
Despite it, lie years, the old clock
keeps gooi tins. 1t strikes twelve
sometimes when it should strike one,
but the grand officers consider this
nothing against it. Molern clocks
have been known to be rs erratic. As
to the phases OF the moon, 1t Is said
that they have not variel from the
almanac five minutes in two years.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1894-05-05
THE HOUSE vERYvNHEALrHv.
Exports Pronounce It's Sanitary Arrange

Experts Pronounce Its Sanitary Arrange
ments Positively Dangerous.
WASHINGTON, May Ain report BY
experts 10 the house committee on
ventilation and acoustics 1t Is shown
that 400, 900 cubic feet Of impure air
comes up the main floor from the cell
lar every hour. and that the good air
that Is forced through to the main
floor Of the house passes through
gratings that are practically cuspidors
and receptacles for bits Of paper and
other cast off matter. Besides this
the report shows that there are a
large number of documents on the
lower floor many Of which are in n
state of decay ard the carpets of the
house floor are saturated with filth
and tobacco juice, and need cleaning.
The experts recommend asa remedy
for this condition Of affairs that air be
pumped in from above the hall in
stead Of from below, as now.
Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1894-05-05
Another Inventor Who Is Not Practical.
From Good Roads.

We learn from western exchange
that "A sclf-acting sofa, just big
enough for two has been invented.
If properly wound up il will begin
to ring a warning bell just before 10
o'clock. AT one minute after 10 il
splits apart and while one half car
rics the daughter of the house up
stairs, the other half kicks the
young man out of doors. They will
come high. nevertheless several pa
rents feel that one of these sofas
will be n household necessity in the
near future"
1t has become almost the univer-
sal opinion that inventors are Wis
ionary. That they are always striv-
ing for the unattainablc. That they
are not among the commercially
successful. That such an opinion
should be ginning ground is not
over strange in view of the constant
tendency on the part of the average
inventor to improve on things which
are already considered good, over
looking as he too often does the inn
practical points of his invention.
Now in the first place the ordinary
sofa as at present constructed bears
the stamp of universal approval.
No man wants a better thing and
presumably this feeling of satisfac-
ton is shared by the (sometimes)
gentler sex. Then who would buy
the new invention! Why naturally
the young lady's father If anybody,
but here again the over-sanguine
inventor finds that
"what fate imposes we must need abide"
The old gentleman at once sees
the "outs" about the new tangled
device. He knows, unless his men,
DRY be defective, that the young
people, If indeed they use sofa at
all, are liable to set at naught the
teachings of science which tell us
"that two bodies cannot occupy the
same space at the same time" and
yet without going outside for evil
dence we are sure that two bodies
have been known TO occupy the
same end of sofa at the same time.
But even IL an honest attempt
were made by the "spooners" to
utilize the new invention II would
need but a little carelessness on
their part 10 get the. young lady
thrown out into the street and the
young man elevated perhaps into
the very arms of the dreaded par
ent, and then-no, the idea belongs |
to a more cruel age than this.