St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-10-28
TOPICS UP TO DATE.

SAYith Mckinley In the title role, was
Father severely shaken ND by the Ohio
aynching party. which occurred In the
Estate where the governor is drawing his
salary while at the same time he is
making cheap speeches from the tail
emf of one of George NJ. Pullman's cars
to admiring rustics at every crossroads
in Fhis large country.
Company No. 2. playing revised
edition entitled 1.-The Life of a Clown ~
or s'Why l Should Be President" head
eddy Thomas b. Reed. has rather dam
aged itself by talking against pro,ec-
ton at hotels in unguarded moments.
Company No. B, headed by the famous
LlHputian Ben Harrison, has been play
ing to light, business in the screaming
farce "Only Once More" or "Why
Should Be Nom noted"
~
Reed the Rampant, Reed the Ridicu-
lous. Reed the Only. has been in Mime
apolis during the past week. He did
not come here by special request. we
understand, of the Republican commit
tee. He was Here some years ago, and
we Immediately elected three Demo-
cratic congressman in doubtful districts
as the result of his visit. There is but
one parallel character in all history and
fiction, and that is Sir John FaIstaff
Both fat. inpudent, overestimated. and
both possessing that vulgar h,mor
which makes the rabble laugh and dis
gusts the thoughtful and refined, they
are sIngularly alike in every way. Nc.
klnley used him in his gubernatorial
campaign as one may use foil. to show
OF his own intellectual supremacy.
And Reed. like FaIslatf, deemed it
honor, and knew not that he was being
used that all who heard might make
that old comparison "from Hyperion to
a satyr"
No other man in either party had or
mas the impertlnence and utter iguo-
rance OF courtesy which permitted him
to enforce his quorum rule.
Even after his descent from person
age TO person he delayed the passage
OF bill for which the entire country
ciamored. he deferred the resumption
call attention to petty differences be
tween his rulings and those of his sue
cessor. Republican managers shook
their heads and said one to another,
even as Prince Hal said: "a devil
haunts thee. in that fat old man!'
He has little real ability; noise is
often credited with performance, but
seldom proves it. He is not a learned
man. but imposes upon the ignorant.
He is the only genuine Cave of the
Winds. And, should the Republican
party ever succeed in politics again.
which is most unlikely, when Reed
presses forward for recognition the
brainy men who have encouraged this
clownish politician Will pass him by, as
Henry V. did poor old Falstaff, with
these words:
1 know thee not, old man; fall to thy pray
,ers;
How i'll white hairs become a fool and
jester!
have long dreamed of such a kind of man
So surfeit-swelled. SO old. and so profane;
But, being awake, do despise my dream"
-
A prominent citizen said the other
Gay to another prom. cit. who divulged
it: 81 think that two ordinances should
be passed by our council; or. if they
exist, they should be rigidly enforced.
First, make it a miSdemeanur to throw
banana skins on the sidewalk: and,
second. stop the merchants FROM throw
lng the loose papers which accumulate
in nnpacking goods into the alleys. The
wind blows them all over town, and
they brighten horses and cause acct
dents. Later, after these matters are
accomplished, attention might he given
TO the men who drive up TO the sidewalk
at 6 O'Clock and unhitch their teams.
going nome and leaving the heavy
wagon ont i'll the street without light
upon it, where it is constant menace
to life and property during the hight"
~
The GLOBE, ever quick to recognize
the trend of public taste, takes pleasure
this morning in presenting to lis read
ers its first installment of the puzzle de-
partment, and points with pride to the
fact that no tedious wait of week is
entalled. and that the breathless reader
Will find the answer closely following
the problem.
No. 1. Why does a certain st. Paul
assemblyman remind you of the last
member of procession of Spanish
grandees?
.Answer-Because he is the Rear-Don.
No. 2. Behead the last rame of a
popular st. Paul Democratic official. and
find what Republican majorities are!
Answer-R. A. Smith,. A. NTH
(are a myth).
No. 5. Behead the name of popular
candidate for county treasurer. and find
the fact of having ridden. Curtail this
and find that which, when neglected,
spois the child.
Behead and curtail this, and find the
chances of his opponent for election?
Answer-Grode, Rode, Rod--O.
No. 4. Prize Conundrum- (oclected
by committee as the most difficult of
solution. and every person solving it
correctly will receive copy of "Hints
Johnson.)
OF what celebrated orator does the
Republican candidate for congress in
this district remind you?
-
What is the reason that the drivers of
butchers delivery wagons are the most
reckless of JehuS?
1t must be connected with the Ell.
qqelts of the profession, for grocers'
dEiyers, with practically the sa me work
to do, are gentle spirits and give one a
little time for preparation for sudden
death,
There is one youth in st. Paul. with a
nice red wagon, who will be overtaken
some day by the vengeance of the gods.
lie WEARS red necktie. to match the
Wagon. and when he approaches a
crpwded crossing there is CLEAN of Joy
iii, his eyes such as Nero wore when
burning choice lot of selected CARTS
tlAns.
Ito,, I, q: