The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1894-05-27
n.cb,ne-mnde Journalists.

| fcr n
'' ProTessor-Mr. Wagear are you pre-
,ared with your suicide?
| Wagear--Yes, sir.
professor-Please outline II.
| woeear (reads)- "Thirty-e cafbre
revolver clinched tightly in his right hand'
| No cause assigned for the rash act.
| Professor-How do you refer 10 the
| suicide himself?
Wagear-As 1.-The unfortunate man.
professor-Correct. In the second days
notice YOU should say that among the
neighbors runors are rife Of love anair'
Wagear-Shoud / not also say that
remains win be Inferred IN their last
resting place tomorrow .
Professor-Certainly. Mr.. fren2yeye'
have YOU corrected your murder In ac-
cordance with my instructions?
F'renzyeye-Yes, Professor.
professor-Clve us the ending or H.
Frenzyeye-"rhe deceased appeared 10
have met his end by q blow from a biuht
instrument Foul play IS suspected. Inc
police are reticent. but they are peheVeu
TO be in possession Of Important ciues
Bad blood is believed to nave existed
between the dead man ana MS Twin
brother ... 49,,
professor-Very good. Tomorrow you
Youngfeiow, what IS fad
Youngfelow-A fad is anything whlch
bappens more than twice.
Professor Would a series OF sandnag-
glngs be fad?
Youngfellow-No. sir. They would con-
s,itute "a carnival of crime unpreoedent-
cd i'm the history of the police depart
ment."
Profeosor-Mr. Dickybird, how would
Won speak Of heavy snowstorm?
Dickybird--As q "yeritable blizzard,
sir.
Professor-Give the opening for the ac-
count of a collision in which no lives
are lost
Dickybir d-"Yesterday a serious acct
dent was narrowly averted at"
Professor-Very we'll, that will be suf-
1cient. Mr.. Callowlad, how do you begin
a sentence containing nothing out of
the ordinary?
Caiiowlad-with the words, oddly
enough"
Professor-Give the keynote Of the re-
port Of a burglary.
CalIowIad-"shots were fired after the
retreating miscreants."
Professor-Is other journalistic use ever
made of shots?
Callowlad-In a shooting affair, the
man fred at either returns the shots"
or "seeks safety IN flight" Shots also
ring out" and "startle the inmates of
| the building"
| Profossor-How does a runaway horse
| proceed?
| CaIlowad-He "ds shes wildly"
| Professor-A cable car. over which con-
troll has been lost, also dashed down
| hill wildly, l suppose?
Callowlad-No, sir. It "rushes down the
| steep sncline with terrible velocity"
Professor-Very good. Mr.. Gocart, un-
| der what circumstances are all women
| beautiful?
! Gocart-In court, and by telegraph.
| Professor-How is a woman married,
| and how does a man present his idea
to the public?
Gocart-The woman is married quiet
ly." and the man prepares statement.
PrOfessor-That will do Mr.
Gocart-You told me to look up the
condition Of farmers after a rain.
Professor-True. l beg your pardon.
How DO you find themP
Decentralization"
rofessor-Certainly Mr.. Readyjaw,
are YOU prepared with your political out
line?
1tcauyJdW-1 eS, ITDleSSOr.
| Professor-Name the friends Of the po-
| litical journalist.
Readyjaw-"Promin citizen" "a
| leader high in the councils Of the party"
| and a "well-known western senator who
| does not wish TO be quoted"
| Professor-Explain to the class the diff
| ference between a statesman and a poll
ucian.
| Readyiaw-A statesman belongs to our
| party; a politician belongs TO the oppo-
| site party.
PROFESSIONALISM are the followers OF
| the statesman?
Earnest workers for the
cause Of good government"
PROFESSIONALISM are the followers of
the politician?
Readyjaw-"H enchnen"
Professor-What do the earnest work.
ers obey?
Readyiaw-"The call TO duty"
PROFESSIONALISM do the henchmen obey?
Beadyjaw-"The behest Of their party
| boss"
Professor-Correct. Are there other
names for henchmen?
Ready jaw-Local henchmen are heel
ers;" taken as n whole especially at con-
vention time the body of henchmen con-
stitute cohorts"
Professor-How does one Of our speak
ers handle the opposition?
| Readyjaw-He scores" them. Sc
ceder from the opposition is bitter" and
| speaks Of them bitterly"
| Professionalism you interview a man
and he cannot answer a certain ques-
ton, how do YOU begin his reply?
Readyiaw-Well. I suppose | should
begin IT. 81 don't know" or 81 cannot
| say as 10 that"
Professor-Tut, tut, Mr.. Readyiaw. I
am surprised at you. All. Mr. Future
| fakel
Futurefake-He should begin it, "That
| I cannot say
| PROFESSIONALISM. Mr.. Futurefake You
have studied your lesson He ought also.
by all means. work in the phrase. much
chagrined." and begin his last paragraph
with, you may put me on record az
stating that In my opinion II Is time TO
| call a halt" Mr. Readyiaw, you must
master the A b Of political writing in
the bright, brainy and breezy school il
you ever expect TO make your mark in
that direction.
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