Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1894-04-26
ErERr NAN ms OWN LAWYER
Peter BENEFITS Logic saved Him Doc
tors Bill,

The following story, told by the 81.
Louis Republic, is pretty cid but none
the less entertaining for that reason:
A doctor named Royston had sued |
Peter Bennett for his bill, long overdue,
for attending the wife Of the latter.
Alexander H. Stephens wason the Ben
nett side, and Robert Toombs, then a
Senator Of tho United States, was for !
Dir. Royston.H The doctor proved the |
number Of his visits, their value accord
ing to the local custom and his own
authority to do medical practice. Mr..
stephens told his, client that the ply
Stefan had made out his case, and, as
there was nothing wherewith TO rebut
or offset the claim, the only thing left to
do was to pay it, mo-" said Peter, Il
hired you to speak inmy case, and now
speak Iet
Mr.. Stephens told him that there was
nothing to sayI he had looked on to sec
that it was made, out, and it was.
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make speech
himself if he thought one could be
made. "
II will, "asaid Bennett, "if Bobby
Toombs wont be too hard on me.
Senator foombs promised and Peter
began.
Gentlemen Of the jury, you and is
plain farmers, and if we don't stick to-
gether these ere lawyers and doctors
will git the advantage of us. ] amt no
lawyer nor doctor, ard | amt no OBJ
jectiops to them in their proper place;
but they amt farmers, gentlemen of the
jury.
Now, this man Roysten was new
doctor and went for him to come and
doctor my wife's sore leg. And he come
and put some salve truck onto it and
some rags, but never done it one bit Of
good, gentlemen Of the jury. | don't
believe he is no doctor, noway, There is
doctors as is doctors sure enough, but
this man don't earn his money; and ii
you send for him as Mrs. Sarah Atkin-
son did, for negro hoy as was worth
$1,000, he just kills him and wants pay
tor it.
81 don't" Numbered the doctor.
"Did you cure him?" asked Peter,
with the slow accents OF a Judge with
the black cap on.
The doctor was silent, and Peter pro-
ceeded
AS | was saying, gentlemen of the
| jury, we farmers, When we sell our cot
ton, has got to give yally for the money
| we ask, and doctors amt none 100 good
| TO be put to the same rule And ! don't
believe this Sam Royston is no doctor
| nohoW."
The physician again put in his oar
with; Look at my diploma if you think
| am no doctor"
His diplomat exclaimed the new
fiedged orator, with great contempt.
ellis diploma Gentleman, that is big
word for printed sheepskin, and it
didn't make no doctor Of the sheep rs
first Wore it, nor does iG of the man as
now carries it. A good newspaper has
more in it, and | pint it out to We that
he amt no doctor at ALL"
The man of medicine was now in a
fury, and screamed OUT ASK my pa
| tients IL am not a doctor !"
II asked my wife, retorted Peter,
"and she said as how she thought you
wasn't"
ASK my other patients" said DR.,
Royston.
| This seemed to be the straw that broke
the cancels back, for Peter replied with
look and tone of unutterable sadness:
"Ihat is a hard saying, gentlemen Of
the jury, and one that requires me tc
die or to have the powers as I've hearn
tell ceased to be exercised since the
apostles. Does he expect me to bring
the Angel Gabriel down to foot his horI
before his time and cry aloud, Awake
we dead, and tell this court and Jury
your opinion of Royston's practice !!
Am to go to the lonely church.yarC
and rap on the silent tomb and say unto
UNI as is at last at rest from physic anC
doctor bills: Git up here, you, and stat,
you died natural death or was hur
ried up by some doctors p He saws, asl
his patients, and, gentlemen of the Jury
they are all dead! Where is Mrs
Beastly's man SamP Go ask of tn,
worms in the graveyard where he lies
Mr.. Peake's woman Sarah was attended
. by him, and her funeral was appointed
and he had the corpse ready. Where /
that likely Bill as belonged to MI
Mitchell? Now in glory an expressin
his opinion on Royston's doctorin
Where is that baby gal of Harr,
Stephens ? She are where doctors ceasI
, from troublin' and the infants are a
rest.
Gentlemen of the jury, he has e
, chicken enough at my house to pay 70
! his salve, and / furnished the rags am
don't suppose he charges for maxim
her worse, and even he don't pretend 4
! charge for curin' of her, and | al
! humbly thankful that he never CAV
: her nothin' for her inwards, as lie di
! his other patients, for somethin mad
: UNI all die mighty sudden"
r Here the applause made the speake
: sit down in great confusion, and i
spite of logical restatement OF tn
= case by Senator Toombs, the docto
: lost nnd palnr Rnnnntt won