The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1894-09-23
ENNUI AND THE OPIUM PIPE.
Not Bad for the Chinese Since Ii Gives
Them Variety.
Temple Bar.

Temple Bar.
I let the idle hours slip by, and smoked
avowal. an enornity. My friends the mis-
sionaries will give me a sad glance, ana
pass by, Ny staid comrades Of the steel
pen and the steel pen coat will say they
didn't expect. this of me. and reluctantly
give me the cold shoulder. But what is the
good Of daring TO exercise your own ludg-
ment IL you are to conceal the results? Ny
Judgment is this: Smoking a pipe OF poppy
is a slow and painful, 1 should say pleas
ant, process. 1t is painful when Ii gives you
the stomach ache and the cramp in your
underelbow; when you have to hold your
hand over a lamp for half an hour, and
cumbrous bit Of q Bamboo. Which won't go
into your mouth; or when IL is being fed
by an individual interested in the amount
you consume, and whose only consideration
is that you shall become addicted to it, and
a regular customer. with the ruin Of your
immortal soul into the bargain.
But when you want to drag out the hours
in laZiness and not ennui; when your only
object is to do as the. Roman does, for a
routine: when you are well posted in the
statistical fact that IL takes months of reg
slavery. and positively venture to think for
yourself and see that IL hooks on only to
poor efete Asiatics. who have taken no
exercise in their lives and have no possible
way Of getting through the livelong day
unless they drown themselves, then yoc
are not afraid 10 do Ii. When a man has
lusty lungs and legs aching for exercise.
is he a fair subject to succunb to the SUI
perior attractions OF an undeniably uncom-
Portable attitude in a dingy room, over a
very laborious pipe, that gives you one
Whit for ten minutes hard labor with the
treacle?
For a Chinaman venture to corroborate
the view that physically it's not such a bad
thing after all. Look at his environment:
No exercise. No paper. No books. No mu-
sic. No wife. in the sympathetic sense. No
dogs, no cartridges TO make. no billiards..
nQnnn have WrSlflod with this annlVQ1lH
condition. with all the subterfuges of pro-
traction that the most ingenious invention
could suggest. They have a theater that
lasts for five hours. and then sends them
home dead, or at least deaf; but as mems
dives are almost as limited as q cats, they
can't stand 1t more than once a week. They
spread their meals over two or three hours.
and cook them so excellen.ly that they are
far from surfeited; but with the aid OF the
melon seed, another ingenious discovery or
prstraction, can go on eating in the inter-
val until the next meal comes round. They
h haov n0 70 take Ino s Psm Penerst IONS I from 'f the
conqueror downward TO get through; in
these cases the family generally dies out
with the man who sees where the title
comes in. They have a pipe that holds one
Whit. and has to be cleaned out and re-
filled for the next. and instead OF matches
a blotting-paper spill. which has TO be SCI
entilcally blown for two minutes before IL
infames. They have roads crowded with
shape of unlevel paving stones. holes. and
cuttings that go round instead OF across
every field or grave they can. by any con-
ceivable stretch OF Imagination, touch, like
the canal at Kaotzu. that traverses a mile
in fifty direct yards. for fear the water
should run away too fast and disappear.
But the most brilliant and successful de-
vice was the opium pipe. Any one can go
and swallow a handful OF the drug or drink
off a bottle OF It's connection, and Kill them
selves in five minutes; or you can take II
in pills and XIII yourself In a. year But
here you have a means Of running the lin
ing OF your stomach and your purse. OF
estranging all - friends and relations.
of holding you up as a blotch and abs
horrence to n m seif-satlsfed horizon
OF philanthror swiggers, and or pro-
viding a swo .evenue to a hated for
eigner and a capable government, and
yet drag alon, IN your misery and enjoy
ment with redoubled energy for years. and
years, and years. Little could that wag OF
a wandering quack have expected TO pro-
duce such s~tupendous results when he hob
bled along hawking his poppy Juice tobacco
as a new cure for the dysentery.