Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-07-05

Inter Ocean.
. ABOUT the only chance for POOR
gas consumer is to burn with indfg-
nation. Plain Dealer. - :, -,
THOSE who start out fora lark are
apt to take many swallow on the
road. Lowell Courler.fT 't f
The fool is a man who goes up to q
blockhead and implores him to be
sensible.-Galveston Newsyp-
THERE is often a close relationship
between crooked actions ana sdesper-
ate straits. Lowell Courier
Iris true that doctors disagree, but
then they don't disagree half Is much
as their medicines do --Life.o
AFTER all it is only right that the
bill collector should treat his Victims
with due respect -Buffalo Courier.
UNCLE GEoRaE-Are you good at
guessing? Little Dick--Yes. indeed.
I'm head In the spelling class. Good
News.
THE Western rivers are quoted
considerably higher than the West
ern railroads just at present. Boston
Herald.
SER man kin run inter debt" said
Uncle Eben, "but when it comes ter
gettin' out he's gotter crawl. Wash
ingtOn Star. M
IT is not alone the inebriate who
stakes drop too much;" the balloon
ist often suffers the same penalty
Yonkers Stateman. Nv
A YOUTH visiting girl six or sew
en- times week also proves time Is
money. He uses 1t to pay his. ad-
dresses Philadelphia Times. ,..,,
GRANDPA's birthday: MANY happy
returns of the day, grandpa: land
mamma says IL you give us each so
cents, we mustn't lose it. "17,Brooklyn
Life.
GILHooLY-I wonder why wars are
not as prolonged now as they were in
ancient times? Mrs. Gilbooly-It
must be because divorces come easier.
THAT new bullet-proof cloth may
keep out bullets. but has any one
tried it in pair Of knickerbockers
for a small boy? That should he the
final test. Buffalo Express. ,ps
SOME of the New York policemen
have not been in hurry to clean out
the saloons, but they have done their
best, it would seem, to clean out the
proprietors. -Yonkers Statesman.
Miss GUsHEY-"Mr. Dewdrop, when
you were introduced last nightoyou
certainly looked familiar" Mr.. Dew
drop-"Don't be alarmed. am, very
reserved, as a matter OF fact. -
Truth. y4 $50. ~
HE-"They are not. on speaking
terms, you know" She-aWhy, they
are dead in love with each other" He
For that reason they don't speak;
they just sit and gaze at each other"
"SIR," said the indignant constitu.
ent, Il am compelled to say that you
have acted the part OF a knave."
Great JONAH" replied the astonished
Congressman, would you have me be
fool?"-Indianapolis Journal.
WHEN 1 look into your eyes, Jen-
ME, dear" he said, at surprises me
to remember that you are a teacher
of a primary class" "Why, George"
she asked. because, dear, your pu-
pills are so ge."-Harper's Bazaar.
JACK has finished my portrait
AT last! 1 didn't think he ever
would" "Oh, yes! He's been at work
on 1t only year." "Dear me! Isn't
that long timer" I'VE didn't think
so. We're engaged now."-Harper's
Drawer.
MRS. SPEKEEzY-4Oh, you may not
see any beauty in me now; but you
told me that you fell in love with my
face" Mr.. S.-"Yest my dear; hut
when I fell in love With your face
your features were insfepose. "-Bos-
ton Transcript. 81
BRIDGET-D'ye moind tie way thin
Oytalians motions wild their hands
an arrums an heads and bodies
whin they talks? Patrick-Begorra.
how ilse could they undirshtand plat
aich other do be chatterin'. about. -
New York Weekly. .,asr
IT is very much easiersfor a girl to
stand before an audience in a white
silk dress and the consciousness that
she is looking well, and talk of the
nobility and courage that meet life
boldly, than it Is to be patient while
washing dishes. -Atchison Globe.
HUsBAND-"Our bills for household
expenses are as large as ever. l told
you to reduce them.s .Nifc--sI did.
/ took from $40 to 40 off each one,
but the tradesmen acted so. about it
that i thought you'd better 90 around
and reduce them yourself" New
York Weekly.
cant you give me employment,
ma'am?" said the tramp Il haven't
had anything to do for months"
poor fellow! What can you do?"
well, ma'am, / am aR0od watcher.
II / could sit out here on your front
porch and watch the front gate, SOS
no one could steal 1t, you'd. find I
was very competent Harper's
Bazaar. sc.gs.s
THE young lady at the piano was
playing a selection from Wagner. In
the midst of it she suddenly stopped
In confusion. what Is. the NATTER"
inquired one of the company. II
struck a false note" she replied.
well, what OF it?" said another.
Nobody but Wagner would ever
know 1t, and he's dead. Go ahead
| with music n-Chica0o Trihuna