davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

Some of us have to live long
while to find out that we don't know
much.--Ram's Horn.
Astonishing. -Phillie McClink-''I
--have lived all my life in Philadelphia. !"
Knicker Boclzer-''And you are still
living?"-Detroit Free Press.
-Lady-"You said this coal was
economical; why, it won't burn at ALL
Dealer-''Well, ma am, what could you
have more economical than that?'--
Tit-Bits.
Clara there any marrying
men down at the beach this summer?'
Cora-''Yes; there were two ministers
and justice of the peace. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
What have you got in folding
beds?" asked the customer addressing
the furniture salesman. Got one of
our clerks in one and they are just try
ing to get him out. IN. Y. Press.
Fond Parent-''Goodness, how you
look, child. You are soaked" frankie
please, pa, i fell into the canal. :"
what, with your new trousers on?"
off."-Boston Home journal.
Mr.. Huggins-'.W What do you think
of the latest medical dictum that kiss
ing is unhealthyo" Mr.. Hunker-''It is
quite true. Mr.. Mum happened to
catch me kissing his daughter, and
was laid up a whole weekly. Y.
Sun.
ALLOW me, mademoiselle. to pre-
sent this to your NO, no, | do not
wish to accept present. ut is vol
ume of my POEMS" ''Ah, that is diff
ferent l could not have permitted
you to give me anything of value. -
Boston Journal.
Fond Mother-''Yes, sir; I have a
little fellow who is only ten, and yet
he writes beautiful poetry" Old
Editor-'sWell, there's some hope for
them when you catch 'em young, you
can whip it out of 'em easier them
Atlanta Constitution.
-Shackleton Tin the diamond busi-
nessl-"1 had a man in my place this
morning who had wonderful eye. He
could tell how much diamond
weighed by just looking at it." Wib-
berly-"He must have been my ice
man. brooklyn Life.
1t must be pretty hard work
pounding the pavement with that great
rammer," said the idler Sure" said
Mr.. Grogan, 1T is not the droppin' nv
the thing on the shtones thot is the
har-rd work. at all. 1t is the liftin' av
it up" indianapolis journal.
Mistress =" Remember, Mary, if
you break anything, shall stop it out
of your wages" Servant Gmpudently
triumphant)-.Do i'll Do it! I've just
broke that ffty-guinea vase in the
droriu' room, and if you can stop that
out Of . pound-for I'm goin' to leave
at the end of the month-you'll be
mighty clever. Tit Bits.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

strong, plump, round and rosy. Moth
ing so effective as strength restorer
and flesh maker is known to medical sci
ence; this puts on healthy flesh not the fat
II rouses every organ of the body to ac-
tivity, purifcs, enriches and vitalizes
the blood so that the body feels refreshed
and strengthened. If you are too thin, too
weak, too nervous, it may be that the food
assimilation is at fault. A certain amount
of bile is necessary for the reception of the
fat foods in the blood. Too often the liver
holds back this element which would help
digestion. Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery stimulates, tones up and invig-
crates the liver, fiourislies the blood, and
the muscles, stomach and nerves get the
rich blood they require.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

Ana <S11HA nv Va 81
Mas, writes After
suffering from dyspepsia
and constipation with VII
told agony for at least rs
months, I am more than
pleased to say that after
using DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery and
Pleasant Pellets for one
month, I was entirely
cured, aud from that day
to this I do not know.
thank God. what even a
slight headache is. 1 paid
a doctor on fremont St.,
Boston. in one day { for
his advice only,) the sum
of $1,000 with $3.50 for
~1e~f~~. ,s<<J IA~-sxrA<1 s<<.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

NEW ENGLAND produced hardly
enough grain for the support of its
population and was the poorest section
of the country.
CANDLEsTICKs were almost as heavy
as tables and were sometimes set on
rollers to be the more easily moved
about the room
EVERY house in the cities had its tin
gutter, projecting far beyond the roof
and sending torrent OF water down
into the street.
AFTER the church service was ended
the whole congregation remained in
their pews until the minister ard his
family had passed out.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15
Held hx the Enemy.

II you are held captive by the enemy,
rheumatism, bound hand and foot in the
shackles of rheumatic govt, you have your
self to blame, because you did not check
their approach in the outset, with Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters. Tackle them at once
with this pain soothing, nerve quieting,
blood depurating specific, and you will ex-
perience speedy relief. Biliousness, ma
larial, dyspeptic, liver and neuralgia COM
plants Weld to it,
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15
TO PUT ON

needed hesli, no mat
ter how you've lost
1t, take DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Dis
covcry. 1t works
wonders. By rcstor-
ing the normal ac-
ton of the deranged
organs and functions,
it builds the flesh up
to a safe and healthy
standard-promptly,
pleasantly and nat
urally. The weak,
enlaciated, thin, pale
and rffuy are made
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

all on account Of my friend and fellow
servant Andy Lucas. Now, in reglar
set game of general all around devil
ment you mought bet your money on
Andy Lucas and Blew Scroggins and
land it every clatter as safe and easy as
piclsin it up in the big road. Butt you
take Blew out of the game will match
Andy agin any Twin man on the top
side of this green earth. Whensomer
there is any fun and devilment goin on
in the settlement you can bet your SUM-
day boots that either Blew Scroggins or
Andy Lucas is right there in it, and the
other one is more than probable to be
somewhere around in good hearing dis
lance.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

MrsrREss-"B Bridget, / don't like your
having these men in the kitchen. They are
all strangers to me-" Bridget pleasantly
-.'Stip insoide, then, mum, and Ofu intro
Juice you. Judge.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

A PAINFUL TYPoGRApHIuAL ERRoR.-The
usual notice at the end of the announce
ment Of death actually appeared in a
west country paper, as follows: tsFiends,
kindly accept this intimation. n.y. estmin-
ster Gazette.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15
When Nature

Needs assistance it may be best to render 1t
promptly, but one should remember to use
even the most perfect remedies onlB when
needed. The best and most simple and gen.
tie remedy is the Syrup of Figs, manufac-
tured by the California Fig Syrup Co.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

Mr. PoMPous-"Sir, / would have you
know that I'm self-made mun!'' Farmer
Hayrich-'W aal, mister, mammalian seems
to be trade We didn't work long at.'-
Harper's Bazaar.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

Mr.. Breezy-Wel. we hear your son
Is right in the swim in London, going
round with dukes and lords, and all
the nobility.
Old Mrs. Tomdick with feeling)-
Rnt, Mr.. Breezy yon will believe me,
| am sure- Harry was not alwaysa LsS
boy, Puck.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

TmMINs-"What do you think Of my new
deskl Bought It secondhand; made the
money all rom my jokes Simmons
sWelf, that is as It should be-the Jokes
were IL secondhand, were they notf'-
Cincinnati Tribune.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

to hear it, "Yes. The insurance ex-
aminer passed me o. X. two months ago,
and now the doctor tells me I've got an in
durable disease. Kate Fields Washing
ton s.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

DID He Do ITl - Mother fsternlv)--
s'Kitty, didn't Charley Lee try to kiss you
last night at the front doors" Daughter
lblushing} very hard, mamma. D.
Detroit Free Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

sDoAS' talk about yoh neighbohs,n said
Uncle Eben. 'sYoh services am s'perfl'ous.
Dey'll ten to it fob one anuddah an fob
you, too."-Washington Star.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

BIRp DEALER-"T feel bound to tell YOU,
sir, that the parrot which you have selected
IS terrible sweaier." Customer-"An
the better; will let him do my telephoning
for me. Mount Vernon Echoes.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

SHE-"Before we were married you said
it would give you the greatest pleasure to
crafty my every wish" He-ssMy dear, /
said your lightest wish; and rlldo it, too.n
Vogue.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

BoREToN-"Just take this along. win
you, old man, and look it over at your
leisures' Busy Editor" Leisure2 WHAT'S
thats'-Somerville journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

SHE-aHave you ever had any experiences
Of Wall street, Mr.. Larnb!" He Yes, In
deed. plenty of it.n She--"How long were
You thereof He-"Just fifteen minutes"-
Munsey's Magazine.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

JILLsoN says the Baconian theory would
doubtless find fewer believers if there were
not SO many ham actors trying to do
MISREPRESENTATION Courier.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

"YoUR sealskin sacque is the finest have
ever SEEM "Well, it ought to be, it was
made from one of the educated seals.n-
Judge.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

vrsrroH-sT suppose you have great deal
of poetry sent id to you for publication2n
Editor-uNo, not very much poetry as q
rule; some Of it is verse, and some Of 1t IL
worse. s,-Somerville journal.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

medicine. and derived no IA J. COLEMAN, ESQ
benefit got more relief ia one hour from your
medicines. as TAR as my stomach was concerned
than from all the other medicine used.
If any person who reads this is suffering from
dyspepsia or constipation and will use your
medicine as have done, he will never regret II. "
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15
Highest Of all IN Leavenng powe-Iatest u Govt Report
R>!a!!l! R fssx';aRsSF
ARSOIUTEIx PURE

MRS. PANCAKE fsuspiciously) -ssWhy are
YOU hanging around my back window so
iong7n Tramp Ma'am, those apple pies
are as purity as pictures, AM I'd ike to be
the frame o. one o. them. "--Haxper's
Bazaar
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

my task in life," said the pastor, COM
placently, consists in saving young men
"Ahi' replied the maiden, with a soulful
youP-Life.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

lNQu1RER-sDoes q fish diet strengthen
the braina" MISUNDERSTANDING not;
but going fishing seems to invigorate the
imagination. IN. Y. Weekly.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

The monkey goes to the sunny side of the
tree when he wants warmer climb
Texas Siftings.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15
SQUIRE RUFUS SANDERS.
Tho Sage Of Rocky Creek and His
Side Partners.
Andy Lucas and Biev scroggins-Eow
1t Come to Pass That julie Nabors
is the "Onlyest" Third Party
Han In the settlement.
Copyright lss4.l

Didn't You new
er hear tell of
how it came to
pass that julie
Majors got to be
the widest and
most or a ri e S t
Thirdparty man
in the Rocky
Creek S ettle-
ment +? If you
never did Ireck-
on ! ought to
turn loose and
tell YOU. 1t was
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

IF you want to be cured of cough use
Hales Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

Mr.. GREArHEAn, the landlord, says be
prefers as tenants experienced chess-play-
ers, because it is SO seldom they move
Boston Transcript.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

No. MAUD, dear, journal devosed to
the interests of palmisty, isn't strictly
speaking, hand organ. = Philadelphia
Record.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

LOVE never speaks in foreign language.
Rams Horn.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

! PEorLn who hope are people who help
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is Constitutional Cure. Price 75c.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

particle Is applied into each nostrtl ana ID agree
able. Price 50 cents at Druggists or by mail.
ELY BROTHERS. Sc Warren -treet, New Ycrk.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-15

Opens and ceanses the Nasni Passages. Ailays Pain
and Inflammation. Heals the Sores Protects the
Membrane from colds. Restores the Senses OF Tasts
and Smell. The Balm 10 quickly absorbed and gtvss
relief 1t once.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-07-31
HIS FIRST ATTEMPT.
A ABaehelor's Highly Interesting fExperiemce
I'm the TribulatiOns OF Housekeeplng.

"A ABaeheaor's Highly Interesting Experiemce
In the Tribulations Of housekeeping.
+ am passing through novel and en-
ceedingly interesting, even if not highly
agreeable, experience just now, " said Q
young newspaper man at one of the
down town offices this morning. i am
going through the tribulations OF the
housekeeping side of marital life, al
though have never yet led bride to
the chancel rail. Yesterday all my folks
Eent away to the seashore, leaving only
myself, the youngest Of the family, and
my sister, who is next older than me,
TO assume the cares of the household.
Neither Of us has had any experience In
this line, and the results bid fair 60 be
amusing, If nothing more, especially In
the matter of preparing for breakfast,
as both Of us are late sleepers. This
morning the first break occurred.
and thus it happened. The servant is
due nc about o'clock i'm the morning,
and as am a sound sleeper instructed
her TO ring the bell vigorously and not
TO go away IL she was not very prompt
ly admitted, and also told my sister,
II she heard the bell, TO awaken me.
and would let the girl in. Last night
] was up till o'clock writing. and COM
sequently four hours later was i'm the
soundest OF my slumbers when the Ice
man ca1ae and left o cube OF his wares
ON the steps Just afterward the serv-
ant came and applied fdr admission. AT
axak k.az. ~yS svS.,.f,v,a ,ssx<~u -, xtxa HorI
gong. which is only one hight Of stairs
away from my room, pro6nced no inn
preston ON my morning slumbers, but
she followed my instructions and con-
tinued conscientiously to make that bell
startle the whole neighborhood except
myself and sister, whose alarm clock
also did not have the slightest effect oi
driving away onscioushess.
At last I was partially aroused 30 that
the ringing of the bell caused me to
dream Of fire engines, and In q few sec
onds all the horrors of destructive fire
passed through my reviving brain, and
saw myself running and shouting, and
the engine steaming, and the firemen
pursuing their heroic work of rescue.
Then--I suppose her arm was tired
the faithful servant pulled slow, steady
strokes, and instantly my dream
changed, and I found myself ON a rail-
way station going to join the family at
the seaside. Suddenly these visions
were dispelled, and the stern reality of
the occasion was forced upon my un-
willing mind as I reluctantly jumped
up and removed the bars that hindered
the servants entrance. She was quite
cheerful over the affair and said she
had not been kept waiting for more than
10 minutes. Truly. the way of the head
Of the house is pleasant. "-Washington
Star.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-07-31

prevailed at Lake Madison and east of
here last evening. The wires state that
q two hours heavy rain prevailed from
Egan east TO Edgerton and about an
hours rain from the latter point to Jack
son. Word also comes today of heavy
rain this morning at Aberdeen, Groton
and Bristol. Perhaps Madison's good
fortune may come soon.
The Modern Woodnen officers have
have received Benefit order No. 1874 in
favor of Mrs. Ida Wessell for $4,000, the
amount of her insurance policy OF her
late husband. AS soon as countersigned
by the officers and returned to Head
Camp, Mrs. VESSEL win receive draft
for the money. This 10 another worthy
instance OF the value OF fraternal life in-
snrance and promptness of this noted
order in meeting its obligations.
>THE DAILY LEADEK 10 in receipt of q
letter from Rev. G. B. Dodd, pastor Of
the MI. Il. church at Colman, six&asn
miles east Of this city, which contains
the following: "The large pulpit bible
was taken or stolen from the M. z.
church here about the same time the
bibles were taken from the Episcopal
churches In Madison and Flandreau.
We have not been able TO find any clew
to les whereabouts" This would indi-
cate that some svil-dispossd Lerson pass
ing through the country is robbing
churches Of their bibles by the way.
Aberdsen News, %: There 10 no dis
putting the fact that a considerable part
OF the transient element OF the country,
called harvesters by courtesy, are dead
beats OF the first water. Outof party
OF fifteen or twenty who were fed by the
city near the round house day before
yesterday, coffee, bread and bologna be-
ing given them freely, not one
would accept employment from .
farmer who personally visited them and
offered at least one man good place.
Supt. Bunker also tried to get some
section men out OF the lot but failed
entirely.
Deadwood Pioneer, 26: Four COM
panies Of the Deadwood fire department
who were members last year each re-
ceived sl65.21 from the city treasurer
yesterday, amounting in all to S6608 "a,
being the state apportionment OF 2 per
cent on allIpremiums Of Insurance paidfor
Deadwood property. The total amount
Of premiums paid the insurance COM
panies by the state last year was S33, ,040.
The amount disbursed here is somewhat
less this year than last, which was
s695.85, and through increase OF rates Of
insurance and buildings being burned
down and not rebuilt will be less this
year, from the present outlook.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-07-31
THEN THEY SMOKED.
The Indian Way OF Celebrating u Verdict
of Not Guilty I'm q Murder Trial.

The Indian Way OF Celebrating q Verdict
of Not Guilty I'm Murder Trial.
A dozen Indians wrapped in blankets
sat in silence in an office in the Hyde
block Wednesday evening and smoked
the pipe of peace. 1t followed the ver-
dict in the Sischimoo murder case in the
United States court. When it was an
nounced to the Indians in waiting that
the jury had returned verdict, the pris-
oner's sad eyed father brought forth the
famous pipe Of peace and slowly filled it
with tobacco. Then while the jury was
being polled the Indians sat in silence
and awaited the result. When Colonel
Winston entered the little room few
minutes later with the prisoner, Simon
sischimoo, the boys face was wreathed
in smiles. He grasped his old fathers
hand and spoke in the Indian tongue.
The disconsolate expression left the old
mans face; he smiled and shook his boys
hand warmly. Then, while Simon was
shaking hands with others Of the circle,
the old father applied q match to the
pipe. A few whiffs were taken, the
smoke being exhaled through the nose;
then, it was passed around. Everything
was excitement about them, but the cir
Gle was unmoved by emotion or interest
until each had gone through the ceremony
OF peace; then they arose and rushed out
to get their certificates for fees, which
amounted to $40 for each witness.-Spo
kane Review. 4E<
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-07-31
TARIFF CONFERENCE.
The Full Committee Has Adjourned
to Meet at the Call Of the
Chairman.
DEMOCRATS NOT AGREED.
Mr. Springer Going On With His
Caucus Petition In Case of
No Agreement.

WASHINGTON, July 31.-The full con-
ference committee on the tariff met
shortly after o'clock and on suggestion
of Mr.. Wilson it was decided to adjourn
10 meet at the call of the chairman, the
statement being made that the demo.
Gratis were unable TO agree among them
selves as yet and that the further con.
ference OF the full committee would
avail nothing.
The Caucus Petition.
Representative Springer is proceed
ing with his petition for q house cancus
ON the tariff. He says the report that
the move for caucus had been aban.
doned is not warranted, but that y was
simply held in allegiance.
.sIt may be found desirable. Z said ne,
''to put or the time, In order 70 give
the conference further time 90 come TO
gether, but il it becomes apparent that
there is deadlock then the caucus viii
be held. !"
Mr. Springer says q caucus Ii alto
gether desirable at the present time. and
1t win be i'm the line OF precedent o.
caucus action always heretofore and
and during the tendency Of tariff bill.
Neither Side WIN Yield.
When the democratic managers OF the
two houses met, as they did, according
TO agreement at o'clock. it was soon
discovered that no progress had been
made towards reaching an understand.
ing, as each side stood out stifay for its
own contention. The house members
declared that they had not been able tc
see their way clear to accept the senate
sugar schedule and the senate conferees
refused to change the schedule.
When the house conferees came TO the
house for their noon recess it was made
known that the two hours discussion
with the senator's had been fruitless in
reaching any basis Of agreement. The
senator's had been unyielding and the
house men had been equally determined
Nor was any middle ground proposed
which gave hope for the future.
It Was Deadlock
In every sense of the word. Members
of the house heard this news with much
misgiving, as they had hoped the two
extremes would at least see some basis
Of agreement ahead, even If it was mol
actually reached. The Republican
house conferees smiled bSnadly when
they returned to the house is minutes
later. To their waiting associates they
explained that the full conference had
lasted only minute. Senator Harris,
they said, had stated that there were "a
few items ON which the Democratic con,
ferees had not agreed" He had moi
specified the items, but the Republican
conferees had gathered that they were
sugar, coal and iron ore. The Republi
cans seem to think. the deadlock is not
likely to be broken very soon.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-07-31
Miss catherine n. spence,

Miss Catherine H. Spence of AIDE
laide, South Australia, has gone to
Glasgow after nearly a years stay in
the United States, during which time
she gave many addresses on proportion
al representation. She has left here
many warm advocates of that measure.
One of her last speeches in this country
was before the Ladies' Political Study
club of Toronto. - Exchange