davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-08-25
Cable From Queen Lii.

Cable From Queen Lii.
Dear Gresham: -One more boon
crave,
| trust in your affection.
IT'S not to murder Dole, the Kna
Nor put down insurrectlon;
IT'S not my crown, but me to s2v
| write in deep detection.
And so package | must have
Of Parks Tea for my complexion.
Gresham's Answer to Queen Lii.
When received your cablegram
l thought sure would faint,
For though often use Parks Tea
IT'S not for your complaint.
| feared that Mrs. G. would think
Wrong about our connection
Till on her dresser there saw
Parks Tea for her complexion.
Sold bY Smoot Drug nompsny.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-08-25

LRAVE PROVOlFOR EAST AND SOUTH.
No. 2. For Grand junction and
points East. e2aam
No.4. For Grand Junction and
points East. ,........ 935 %. m
No. 8. For sprtngviile, Thistle, SAN 0 = -
pete and Sewer ....-...... 3.65p.m
No. o. For springEille. Spanish
Fork, PRyson and Eureka $40 D. M
LEAVE PROVO FOR WEST.
No. l. For Salt Lake, OgdenAm. Fork
Lehi and the West -. 1l.O6 a. m
No, 3. For Salt Lake, Ogden, Ameri-
can Fork and Lehi and the
west OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. 1O.1T 2. N
No. 5. For American Fork, Eehi. ana
Salt Lake, Asp. N
No. Z. For American Fork, Lehi and
Salt. Lake 1880. - s25 am
ARRIVk AT PROVO FROM EAST AND
No. !. From Denver, Grand Junction
and points East ......... Ills N
No, Q, From Denver. Grand Junction
and points East ... I0.IT D, %
No. From Spring vile, Thistle Sam
pete and Sewer. Alb p. n
No. From Springville, Spanish FIX
Payson and Eureks ....... s.25a.m
ARRIVE AT PROVO FROM WEST.
No. 2. From California, Ogden. Salt
Lake, Lehi and Am. Fork ADAM
No. 4, From California, Ogden, and
Salt Lake ......,..... 935 m
No.o, From Salt Lake, Leht and
American Fork :...... 3.56p. NJ
American Fork. sop m
CThe only line TO ogden and Denver without
enange, Free reclining chair cars on through
trains. Through Sleeping cars TO Denver
Kansas city, Chicago and San Francisco. Ele-
CANT equipment, safety, speed and comfort,
O. 4. Alley. Ticket Agts ProVo3
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-08-25
Home Missionaries.

The home missionaries of Utah Stake
are appointed to preach on Sunday,
Aug. 18th 1894, at the wards iesig-
mated:
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

ANTONIO MATTEL Y BRUNETTE
Mabi Portuguese, Ponce, Puerto Rico.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14
Almac6n de Novedades.

Dado favor ca da mas crecene que p1bco ven
eabecmento duenn perdaan medic
screedoe esta distinction
Knalados en- comodo eegante ben uado pernecent
la aHeeon de don Ramon Rivera de importar de
Frauca Aemania, EspaNa, Lngaena Austra
ottos mpoane meados de EUROPA AMERICA un espenddo
ldo en- a1uos de novedad fantasia de exquisite gusto uados
las exgenc de Ultima moda rean
J -ntte otos muchos je dfcii enumeration:
Eegate sombrecs sehoras ma para potas
surtdo complete de tcd
do hho de Eoca seda bancas cooes para
caneos: pnuelos he seda corbaasd vaa eganes
mres alta fantasia guante mi
Mna ne seda: cinturons de pe metal
corsets de ho dc sea peifumet
t. las sabrcas de Paris soctad,s SIMON apee
de feipa.
un escodo surtio de objetos popos reg
ncsssI' c am6ncas oyeros pemaiores pahuos tar
y ieeras pMta-cartas, para retao. e. Ga
Irandes exstencas tea bncas dc color agodon de h
-saos. eia, g.
Oesde esta cha contnuara renovando udo
~ oe oecer nuestfos cenes artcus empre Ultima
~aoa oe rariss Ponce JUNO Io de 1904
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14
z S0RTG0 DE- la L0IERIA DEL ASI[0
PARA POBRES
La Carload"
DE HUMACAO
: Gayanhsada p~ e. Banco espadoz de Pueto-Rico :
JU MIA DIRECTIVA

\ JUNTA DIRECTIVA
Pesida HOnordr NJ la R+na
a D,hs Rsaro Vail j. Dban Pre1en
Smonet ve pssdc"ta sa ma Maria Pui.s de Rodriguez V Sra DIN
Manuela er Shelly Sa
de C Dh. R Flaosa do Sra D ia I.anrs San
Fort de Garcia Gaopa
t. PROSPECTO
Para RIA snus beasddo del Aao pob'e. L. cARIDA ec
GAc&TA & oIL es posna en- en- Dc Ato del sho 81
da ~ de S-ptemb- 6ximo
ig,a fcha de os Provincial b tp $1,000
respscto De u moea puados mpor
~enl a iguente
$1,000 blete de que Povnc. 81 uno 1927 600
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14
PONUE, PUERTO RICO SABAD0 IA DE JULIO DE 1884.
DIRECTORLO COMMERCIAL

Los que deseen fgurar en- esta secci6n, abona-
rdn 80 ctvs n,ensuales, siemrre que s@ am'sncio
NO pase DE TRES LINEAs; el crceso Sc pagard
proporcio,,almente.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

ARTURO ,PONTE Y RODRIG UEZ.-
Abogado.--o ace sus servicios professional
lea. Plaza lr,no pal, nlmero 2, Ponce.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

n. -@@@ -.oooo
DlFERENCA. Y,32O
NJTA -lt d ls4pls
ias nsss bases l,r S av' u lila 80 Y enhr de 1893 deb
- 10 30J ae. Do
sn gr ds.is debs p6xmo
dl Aao La CARLOAD" combam6l
ra Provincial.
QTRA: l., hfr.n" l. $3.50 import, lie la e
euto aos de los sd blle
Adlo. g
OEsN: s.lG ~ lo)
hl Alents lss
Dlvla IA Simonet
OTRA; NJ t
tel in,.- 6r-dh isl b -, l. P-rtoRs
OT&A: Et3mco i, los
mis- s aran th lA trt
My.gd Dp'.r f,n los ,ic del
: Ii, pn>Hcn . conocipieno.
] lno |" l@t liz Pii
Jdio de 1881 Pr3n 2Ov
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

FELIPE VAILLANT-Agente de nego-
clos, encargado de lanchas, cargas y descar-
gas de cabotaj ajes--Playa de Ponce.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14
/. BASSEDAS
-AGHNCI-A- ESCOLAR

Con profuado conocimeo del pa donde he argo amos
de- osumbres de uventud uena
fesd hoy en- Barcelona donde mi ama
condicones de atender gar d los que aqu
acuden bua instruction ecundar unetara aquel udad
en- su provincial med nte modcoy acceptable pendo
Me otrezco pues los de amia que
veios En- mi tendr5n los ovenes amigo qe observe
que les estue les anime les acompahe socud
orezca aeucones afettuosas del hopar domestco
Los que queu obener mas ampos dees pueden pedio
los cnvare e n @~i
DomiciGo: Ronda San Pedro, Al, j. BARCELONA
olm Febrero ~ de 1894
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14
21000 billetes de que oaara la Peovnci. 81 uno.


Bis premos qua np'faA. II $50 $17 $50
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

AUu USTO PASARELL Y RUS, Pro-
curador.-Sol n1mero 3.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14
Fabrica de Superfosfatos y abonos Minerales

EN- MAYAGUEz, PUERTo-Rrco.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

cnsa las clases de abonos que ican su conposici0 il
rentn de los 100 kamos pnestos e de este puerto III
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-14

CLARA THILLET.- Especlfco THI4LET
para la angina y para otras Intermediates de
la garganta = de la boca. -Farmacs de Fe-
rrer
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-09-13
Grange Picnic at Centre Hall.

The managers of the Grange Picnic
70 be held at Centre Hall, commenc-
ng September 18th and continuing
|ne week, have perfected arrange
hents with the Lewisburg q Tyrone,
Bald Eagle Valley, Phil adelphia q
Erie and other branches ofthe Penn
|ylvania Railroad, and the Central
Pa ilroad of PENNSYLVANIA and Belle
|onte Central to sell excursion tick
IFS to the Park andrun special trains
|very day during the session. Every
|ossible measure has been taken to
bake the visi tors comfortable in the
|Eay of lodging and boarding.
Spea kers of national reputation
pill address the people during the
Eeek, and the prospects are for the
host successful exhib ition ever held
Pnder this management.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-09-13

u EG ISTER'S NOTICES.-Notlce is hereby CIV
1een that the following named persons have
filed their Administrators, Guardian, and Ex-
ecutors' acc0untslln the Registers ONCE Of Sny-
der County, and the same will be presented for
confirmation and allowance at the Court House
In Mlddleburgh, Monday Sept. "a, 1894.
/. First and final account ofP. a. Boyer, FIX.
ecutor OF the estate OF Samuel ShOwater, late or
SelinsgrOve, Pa. decd
2. Account OF |. /. Manbeck. Administrator OF
| the estate OF Jacob Nerhood, late OF Adams
township, decd.
g. First and inal account Of Franklin Boyer.
Executor OF the estate OF Jacob Boyer ana Trus-
tee OF the estate OF Polly Boyer, both OF Penn
township, decd.
1. First and final account OF \. @. Hornberger
Executor OF the estate OF Elizabeth Stcpp, late
Of Perry township, decd.
5. First and final account OF Tilman wIeder,
Admr. OF the estate OF WIN. III. TreaSter late OF
West Beaver township, decd.
g. First and final account OF Ella A. Hout2,
Administrative OF the estate Of John +. llOuI,
late OF Franklin township dec ID.
I. First and final account ~ william Benfer,
Administrator OF the estate Of EnOS BeDfer, late
ofCenter township, decd.
s. First and final account OF Job Hartman.
Administrator OF the estate OF Ann Mary File,
late OF Adams township, decd.
o. The First and final account OF william $.
Sholley administrator, d. u. \. {. II. 4. OF the
| estate OF David Brcon late Of Middlecreek town
ship, decd.
10. First and final account OF Harvey r. Miller
Administrator OF the estate OF Susan Norman
late OF sellnsgrove, decd.
II. First and tinal account Of Willet ArbOg asst
Executor OF the estate OF Matilda Hummel, late
OF Monroe township, decd
~. First and final account OF Peter Meiser
Administrator OF the estate OF Henry Mclser
late OF Perry township, decd.
l3. The account OF Is. Il. Herman, Executor OF
the estate OF Jacob &. Ulrlch late OF ackson
township, decd.
Il. First and final account OF Lydia A. Welder
Administrators OF the estate OF Arthur j. Weider
late OF Spring township, decd.
IS. First and final account OF Jacob q. Dreese
Executor OF the estate OF Mary Dreese, late OF
Spring township, decd.
G.. NJ. SIIINDEL,
Mlddleburg. Pa. Sept. 81 gi. Register.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-09-13
Thad M, Mahon for Congress,

The Republican Congressional
FOnferees for the Eighteenth district
pet at Lewistown. Thad Nj. Mahon
having no opposition, was nominated
by acclamation.
This was a fitting tribute to Mr..
ilahon's record in Congress, besides
has been a custom in this district
% give a congressman a second term
Fithout opposition. He has had
Hear sailing and his election will be
|ecured by the largest Republican
haiority ever given in this Congress
|iOnal district.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-09-13

MISTER DRooKER:-De letsht wuch
N der county meeting wor der Sam
nv Bombecker aw en- condidawt far
kemlymon un es doot mer laid tzu
avca os Sc enc ivverhoopt hen
usht drei shtimma grickt. I'm ich
nus uffpgna os my aigny shtimm
tor aims fun der drei, un ich glawb
y os dc onera tzwe wor EN- Sammy
aigny un de onner seim dawdy,
er olt Joe Bombecker.
Ich dover der olt mon, far ar
emit es orrick hardt os es so gonga
un ar hut shun feel droovel g'hot
bit sellam Sa ammy. Ich hob net
|m sin g'hot far enc tzu shtimma,
wer ich hobs EN- olta Joe far
hpucha OILS en- g'folla tzu eme. Es
Sor far about tzw@ wucha tzurick
re ar NIT mere g'shwetzd hut der
kega. Ar hut mer de gons shtory
sawt vega EN- Sammy, os we ar
kusgalarned wor in der shool hut ar
n blotz grickt far es shneidera
arna, aver somehow sell is net goot
bus gaturned un don hut ar es
lacksemitta broweert, aver sell is
bw net gonga, un shreinera aw net.
3rzuletsht is der olt mon tzu der
tOnlcusion cooma os der Sam law
thtuddeera set, un aw liver vile
s ar admit warra OILS en- raler lawyer.
Aver, somehow de bisness hut aw
bet ge wella, un endlich is ar tzu
Ter conclusion cooma os ar net bes-
Der do kent os der Sam runna far de
bemly, we'll es gor ken unnershit
naucht wos en- mon is far selly office.
Tn der olt Joe is tzu meer cooma
IN uff en- orrick potter waig hut
nich g'froked eb ich net EN- Sammy
lw my shtimm gevva date? Ich
bob EN- g'sawt os es mere orrick
ai dute es tzu sawga os ich far
'ha yohra tzurick SO goot os en-
gaiis,mna LOB os ich nimmy far
lawyer shtimm so long os ich
ID. Don hut der olt Joe q wennich
iesseerlich ga gookt un sawgt /:
Now Pit" secht ar, "is sell now es
)insich ding os der i'm waig shtait
yell der Sammy en- lawyer is 2"
Sell is es exactly" hob ich g'sawt,
won es net far sell ware DAFT ich
BARN dere der g'folla do un far der
6am shtimma." Don is der olt Joe
fff g'fired un sawgt: Don is es
Ill recht, don shtimsht aw far der
Sammy, far ich con der my wardt
fevva OILS en- confidensheller friend
tn nuchber, os oil de law os in meim
Ram 81 kup shteckt sLod nemond
fix." Un's is mer aw selver grawd
ore cooma os der olt Joe about
fecht is, os al net manner law larning
put os en- biffle ux, un dorum is ar
Ter very mon os exactly ct is far in
le Semly. Ich hob EN- olta Joe
arshprucha un bin aw net tzurick
EOnga uff my wardt. I'm der Joe
For aw mon ganunk far es recht
ling tzu do ons Kitzeldarfers.
PIT SCHwEFFELBRENNER
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-09-13
Accounts.

The following Accounts have been filed exam
lned and passed IN the PTothOnotary's OiliCe and
viii be- presented TO the next court OF Common
Pleas for confirmation. All persons Interested
Will take notice,
l. The first and final account OF Chas. X.
Rlshcl committee OF Mary UlriCh a lunatlc OF
the borough OF Selinsgraye Med by Catharine
Rlshel his ENecutrN.
J.CALvIN SCHoCH. Prothonotary.
Aug, rs, 'QI.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-09-13
DRESS GOODS DAY ATTHE
Centra|DryGoodsStore
Selinsgrove, Pa,

We will hold an other SPECIAL
SALE of DRESS GOODS on SAT-
URDAY, September 9th. AS us
ual we will give a discount OF 90
per cent. on all Dress Goods. in
cluding black and colored Henri
ettas, Silks, Cloths, Seges, Dress
Ginghams ect., purchased on that
day for cash. The variety of our
Dress Goods is large, and it will be
to you advantage to attend the
special sale.
Respectfully, S. WEIS.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16

Notice to InvetorS,

There was never a time in the history OF
our country when the demand for Inventions
and improvements in the arts and SCIENCES
generally was so great as now. The con-
veniences OF mankind in the factory and
work shop, the household, on the farm, and
in Official life, require continual accessions
to the appurtenances and implements to each
in order TO save labor, time ard expense
The political change in the administration
of government does not affect the progress
OF the American inventor, who beng OH the
alert, and ready to perceive the existing
deficiencies, does not permit the affairs Of
government to deter him from quickly con.
eeiy,ng the remedy to overcome existing
discrepancies Too great care cannot be
exercised in choosing a competent and skill
full attorney to prepare and prosecute an
application for patent Valuable interests
haye been lost and destroyed in lnnumerable
instances by the employment of incompe-
tent counsel, and especially IS this advice
applicable to those who adopt the mo pat
ent, no pay" system. Inventors who entrust
their business to this class of attorneys do
80 at imminent risk, rs the breadth and
strength Of the patent is never considered in
view Of quick cndeayor to get an allowance
and obtain the fee then due. THE PRESS
CLAIMS COMPANY, John Wcdlerburu.
General Manager. G1S + street, N. w., Wash
insion, d. G., representing large number
of important daily and weekly papers, rs
we'll as general periodicals of the country,
was instituted TO protect its patrons from
the unsafe methods heretofore employed in
this line of business. The said Company is
prepared to take charge ofall patent business
entrusted to 1t for reasonable fees, and pre-.
pares and prosccutes applications generally,
including mechanical inyentons design pat
ents, trade marks labels, copyrights, inter-
fcrenccs, infringemcnts validity reports, and
gives especial attention to rejected cases.
1t is also prepared to enter into competition
with any firm in securing foreign patents.
Write for Instructions and advice.
JOHN WEDDERBURN,
6iS + Street,
p. 0. Box 3s5 Washington, D. c.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16
No Blanks in this Competition.

This is q competition Of rather an unusual
nature 1t is common to offer prizes Tor the
best story, or picture, or architectural plan,
all the competitors risklng the loss of their
labor and the successful one merely selling
his for the amount of the prize. But the
Press Claims Company's offer is something
entirely different Each person is asked
merely to help himself, and the one who
helps himself to the best advantage is to be
rewarded for doing it. The prize is only q
stimulus to do something that would be well
worth doing It, The architect whose com.
petitive plan for club house on a certain
corner is not accepted has spent his labor on
something of very little use to him. But the
person who patents a simple and useful de-
vice in the Press Claims Companps Compe
tition, need not worry if he fail to secure the
prize. He has substantial result to show
for his work. one that will command IFS val.
ne in the market at any time
The plain man who uses any article in his
daily work ought to know better how to I'M
prove it than the mechanical expert who
studies it only from the theoretical point of
view. Get rid of the rid of the idea that an
improvement can be too simple to be worth
patenting TIE smbler the better The
person who best succeeds In combining
simplicity and popularity, will get the Press
Claims Company's twenty five hundred dol
lars.
The responsibility of this company may be
judged from the fact that its stock is held by
about three hundred of the leading ncwspa-
pers of the United States.
Address the Press Claims Comaany John
Weddeburn, managing attorney 61S F street
N W., WASHINGTON, d. c. my4
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16
A REVOLUTION IN MUSIC.
WONDERS WILL NEVER CEASE.
$40 Worth of Choice Music and
The Clarion One Year for 81. Is.

The New York Musical Echo IS quite
novelty in modern journalism and affords n
grand opportunity to amateur pianlsts and
vocalsts 1t is q large quarto musical publi-
cation, published monthly, each number con-
tanning thirty t~o fuU size pages of sheet music
the brightest, livelicst and most popular
selections Of the day, both vocal and lnstru-
acknowledgement with pretty cover on
which is full page portrait Of some beauti-
full actress or singer. The music and por-
trait change each issue.
Here is Il specimen of the contents of one
of the issues of this wonderful musical pub
lication. Every month complete change
making at the end of the year the most COM
prehensive and complete musical library to
be obtained anywhere.
The portrait of Marie Tempest and the fol-
lowing music in January issue:
INSTRUMENTAL,
La Gltarc.
Storm and Rain Gavottc.
Dance ofthc Gnomes,
Please, Another Waltz.
VOCAL.
Farewell, Oh, Farewell.
The Song My Mother Sang.
The Wild Rosebud.
YEARS SUBSCRIPTION
means 1884 pages Of music and twelve fino
portraits We want our friends to be care.
full of each number, to bind it and pr
it, as duplicate copies may soon be thins
the past Ifyou will bind the Echoy
haye the finest selection of popular voca
instrumental music that could be bough
any price. 1t will be Il constant sour
pleasure and delight ts you.
We take great pleasure in making the
nouncemenl that by special arrangem
made with the New York Musical Echo
can send the CLARION and this popular IN
lea! magazine one year for a little more tn
the price of the Musical Echo The price
the CLARION is s1.00 and the Musical Ec
81 So Both may be had one year 70 r 3
Sample copies of the New York Musi
Echo sent on receipt of ID cents.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16
A0USEW.XEELp
E0REyH0rGHg.

Her hat was straight, her gloves were
on,
And yet she fingered at the door
The while. impatient Of delay,
Her waiting husband gently swore.
Her hat was straight, her gloves were
on,
Yet while outside his heels he
knocked,
She stood within the open door,
To ask him if it had been locked.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16

II submit the within described invention
in competition for the Twenty-Five Hundred
Dollar Prize offered by the Press Claims
Company
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16
The Art TOnsOr1al
MR.. AMOS LUCAS,

tot Long Branch)
Having arrived at the conclusion tnat inc
columns of the CLARION are the only means
whereby he can bring his business TO tl'e
proper standard gives vent as follows:
SHAVING, HAIR CUTTING, SHAM
POONING AND DYE1NG
In the latest style OF the art tonsorlal.
SHARP RAZORS AND A CLEAN
SHAVE
is the motto Of this enterprising artist and
NV strict attention to business can't helP
bit please all Will be IN his shop Ut al
timea.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-08-16
The Merry Side Of Life.
sTO RES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.


he will quickly realize that he's better
off.
Many a man who thinks himself
ahead of the times is about as useless
as a clock that runs too fast.
Walkinson-Is zaggs waiting for his
ship to come IN?
Jagway-No; it is a schooner he
ordered.
Why does henpeck call bis wife an
anarchist?
Because she is constantly blowing
him up.
Tommy, who was Joan Of Arc? asked
the teacher.
Noah's wife, said Tommy who is great
at guessing.
Why do you call your husband ST.
lence?
Because he always gives consent when
propose anything.
Well, how is little Willie? We don't
see as much of you as we used to.
Oh, yes you do, for I haYe my pants
rolled up.
Backward, turn backward,
o heat in thy flight.
And let us be cool again
Just for one night.
First Barber-What do you think Of
people who shave themselves +?
Second Barber-TheY ought to be
compelled to cut their own hair.
Near sighte d old gentleman-Little
boy, how much does a bicycle like that
OF yours
Young woman Tin bloomers)-Sir!
Held just as lief be hung for a
sheep as a lamb.
She-Well,you'll be hung for neither.
You'll be hung for a calf or nothing.
Mrs. Goodman Johnny, is 1t true
that you hit Lottie Knickerbocker in
the eye?
Johnny-No,ma, slugged the duf1er
in the neck.
Mrs. G.-Oh, how my head aches.
Mr.. G(absorbed In his newspaper)-
Why don't you have it pulled?
Its my head, l said.
(Still absorbed -Have it filled then.
So your brother has the measles, j John.
ME? When are you going to haye
them?
When my brother gets through with
them, suppose.
Passenger Gin express)-You are the
most dlsobllging porter ever encoun.
tered.
Porter-Yass sab !; I knows dat. DIS
amt no 'commodatlon train, sab.
L would 90 with you into the coun-
try, Gazzam.' said the Judge to his
friend, but really am very short Of
time
thought you must be from the way
you have been disposing of it. replied
Gazzam.
How's that +?
Well, heard you gage one man SIX
months and two others year each this
morning.
SHE rs HAPPY.
She is one of those very matter of
fact girls.
How are you getting along with your
music asked the young man, who was
calling on her.
Well, she answered, of course 1t
wouldn't be proper tor me to compli-
ment myself. But some of the neigh
bors have told me that thep have staid
awake at night for hours listening to my
playing.
And she smiled in a self-approying
way that was sweet to behold.
John, said she, after reading the
evening dispatches from Washington.
What is it, my dear?
Men say that women talk 81 eat deal
don't they
l believe they do.
And they also think it proper to
make jokes about her alleged difficulty
in making up her mind? ..
Yes.
John.
Well, dear y?
Are there any women in Congress ?
N-no.
And yet, just look at the printed
proceedings.
AQUSEWzE.EEY
E0REEHorGHT.
Her hat was straight, her gloves were