The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-05-24
A MODERN FATHER OF LIES,
Eli Perkins Talks the Plaster
Off the Walls.
An Example of Prolonged Artistic
Prevaricati0n.
A Large Audience Listens to Lecture
on wit and Humor ut Simpson
Tabernacle--A Vino Fsstooned
with Clusters of Romance.


cascade of lies was poured out on very
large and very intelligent audience at
the Simpson tabernacle. In fact, he
lied to such purpose that he cracked the
plaster ON the walls.
For nearly two hours he convulsed the
large audience with laughter, telling lies
all the time, mind you, and this when
he had promised to lecture on the
causes OF laughter and explain fully the
philosophy OF wit and humor and define
pathos, sarcasm, ridicule and satire. In
reality the subject of that lecture by Eli
Perkins was merely the stick stuck in
the ground for the vine of wit aud humor
to cling to while it grew and ripened
and bore delicious fruit.
In introducing Eli, Rev. Mclean,
pastor OF Simpson M. E. church, told
the story of Ben Butler, who said there
were just three great liars in the coun-
try. One of them was Mark Twain, and
the other two was Eli Perkins.
Eli Perkins said he was impressed
With feeling of great joy at beholding
the large audience gathered. That he
was just passing through; hadn't in.
tended to lecture, but met his old
friend Mr.. Mclean, and Mr.. Mclean
wanted him to tell the people OF Los An
geles what made them laugh.
Laughter, said Eli, lis caused by
some deiormity, either of art or of
thought. We never laugh at perfect
thing; not even a perfect joke" and
here Eli was reminded of the old Jersey
preacher. He was telling of the storm.
1T Numbered like the mighty sound of
the rushing waters of Niagara. The
storm ragged like mighty earthquake
on Vesuvius, and the lightning crashed
like-like-like sixty" That was de-
formed speech.
On the train up from San Diego the
other day two girls were discussing
things as girls will, you know, and final
ly one of them said: "Oh, yes always
bang my hair. l bang it and bang it.
but it WON'T stay bung."
Then we laugh at startling climaxee.
VIM. NJ. Evarts once remarked in a
speech in San Francisco: II like the
west; like self made men; the more l
see OF them the more / like them, and l
cannot help but think that all of the
wise men came from the-east."
Eli once went to attend divine worship
in Grace church, aud finding only one
empty pew, took it. A lady entered
later, and, seeing him there, said to tie
usher: "Oh! why did you allow that
strange man to occupy my pew?"
AS there were no lawyers in the audi
ence Eli said he could tell his hearers
something about truth, anu took up the
M after of deformed truth. or. in other
words, truth sdulterated with imagina-
ton. Put the two together, and you
have exaggeration. But not all exag-
gerstion is funny. II it were. the
editors OF California would be the fun
niest fellows in the world.
Dickens was true to life, 80 he was a
humorist. Mark Twain was liar and q
wit. Nasty was wit and a satirist.
The business of the satirist is to lie.
Nasty lied. He knew it. He did il ON
purpose. Christ was wit. He said
the Jews strained at gnat and swal-
lowed a camel. He didn't mean that
exactly. Some Jews would try to ewal-
low camel of course, but they would
fail. Nasty told the truth to his family {;
he didn't care much for their opinion,
anyway, but to the public he lied be-
cause he wanted their appreciation.
Eli recently saw q specimen OF humor
at Cotton. A good old lady came into
the depot and wanted to know when the
next train went to San Francisco. AT
2 30" the agent said. "Sure, now 2"
next one?" "No." "No freight trains,
either?" mo" "sure, now 7" YES"
Come on Mirah; we can get across the
track now"
Eli talked with an old man on the
train who has spent go years in Cali
fornia, and 45 of them he passed in
Cotton waiting for trains.
Humor is truer than history-a thou
sand times truer. The Danbury News
man was a truth teller. The story of
the putting up of the stovepipe was as
true as the scriptures. Every body can
remember just such an experience In
his own life. The boy on the farm,
every body was boy on farm once.
All you had to do at first was to drop
easy, they dropped themselves almost
Then you were promoted and could
drive up the cows in the rain, and al
most before you knew it you were
grown up and could run the mower.
Ali happy days!
The Dsnbury News man once told Eli
heard was the story OF the old man who
told his wife that he had done very
smart thing that day really cute
thing, indeed. What was it? Why, he
rolled up his pants before they got
muddy.
Wit is exageeration. Nothing witty
was ever said about mugwump. Why :?
Because you can't exaggerate them.
Nature did that and did good job that
had better not be monkeyed with.
A pug nose is as hard to understand
as the tariff. Few people understand
either, but you can't make fun of them !;
it isn't there. Why? Because you can t
exeggerate them-the Imagination re-
fuses to 20 further.
Imagination can run either way. Peck
ran his the wrong way with his pad boy
and now the book is out of print. Mrs
Burrits work went the right way and
Little Lord Fauntleroy will live a loLg
time.
Pathoa is the absolute truth about a
serious, yes, sorrowful subject.
Ridicule bears the same relation to
truth as satire. but you can ridicule
truth out of court. Lawyers all know
that. They often do it. Truth don
stand any show when the lawyers are
around.
can produce laughter on any subject
anything serious for that matter
Collins, gravestones, mothers-in-law, or
any solemn thing like that.
Be virtuous and you will be happy
l have tried it and know what am
ta1yfnu n hnut