Connecticut western news., 1894-12-27

HUI aiiu SSo sOLuo pdpSIS anu ludSa- zines. And Simpson hurried to the corner news store. He returned with his arms full of weekly and monthly liter ature and foxnd Joey crying at the top of his voice. With nervous haste the men pored over the papers until Bar lows triumphant "Here it is'' brought the others to him.
 Hints to Young Mothers, y read Bar low, peering through his spectacles.
 ''If the baby cries without apparent reason, the cause will probably be one of three things-a pin sticking it's ten der body, the collie or teething. First, search for the pin, for remember the baby cannot talk and tell you where the annoyance is. Remove the clothing gen. tly and rub the hand over the little body. If it is collie, place the baby, stomach down, on your knee and gently pat and rub the hollow of the back. This will sooth the little one. If it is teething, rub the gums briskly but tenderly with the index finger.
 When Barlow had finished, the men felt the relief which comes when the enemy is known and visible. The major walked courageously to the baby, puff Ing his cigar. Granger lighted his pipe, and Barlow, repeating First search for the pin," seated himself on the edge of the chair and received the baby from the major. Joey alternately screamed and gasped, for the major and Granger had filled the room with tobacco smoke, but Barlow and Simpson, with grim de- liberation, removed the little shoes and stockings aIl. peeled off the other cloth ing until Joey, a chubby, rosy cherub, displayed his physical charms to the in- tensely interested bachelors. From head to foot the wailing, choking Joey was inspected by the quartet, and not 8 pin mark was observable.
 ''It's either collie or teething," said Granger, who had dropped on his knees, with Hints to Young Mothers" before him. "Place the baby, stomach down, on your knee,' he read, land gently pat and rub the hollow of the back" Catching the naked Joey by the nape of his neck and grasping both feet, Barlow Topped him over and rubbed so ener- getically that Joey's back grew red, and he squirmed and screamed worse than ever. Its not collie; it's his teeth," said Granger, who had waited a reason able time to see the effect of the treat ment, Rub the gums briskly but ten derly with the index finger. ''
 Simpson squatted to the floor on the other side, and thrusting his finger into Joey's mouth rubbed Joey's gums, while Barlow still patted and rubbed the small of Joey's back.
 Utterly exhausted, Joey's cries sank to subdued sobs, and finally he became quiet Barlow held him for half an hour, while Granger, who had been energetically studying the advertise ments of infants food, went to the drug store and brought half dozen boxes and bottles to Bob, who, carefully fol lowing directions, made up half dozen different brews of lactated food, matted milk and oornstarch preparations. Joey's continued silence gave Barlow and the major confidence, and they managed to clothe him after fashion. Bob's culi- nary skill stood him in good stead, for Joey eagerly drank bowl of prepared food and became so smiling and showed his pretty dimples so effectively that the major picked up his dressing gown and danced vigorously around him.
 The belated dinner was eaten in si- lence, with Joey staring through the folding doors from the center of the sit ting room. Then came the perplexing problem of providing suitable sleeping quarters for the little guest. It was voted to put Joey in Collins bed, and again the Hints to Young Mothers" was consulted. The oracle said:
 "For sleep, baby's nightgown should be loose, short and easy. Woolen is pre- ferred"
 Granger disappeared when Simpson read this and returned with light flan- nel neglige shirt. We can cut off the sleeves, he said, land the bottom. It must be short, you know, and loose and woolen and easy"
 Joey was too sleepy to protest when Barlow again pulled his clothing from him. The baby was. placed in Granger's shirt, and then, escorted by the major, Granger, Simpson and Bob, Barlow carried Joey to Collins room, and build ing nest of pillows laid Joey, now fast asleep, in it.
 Joey did not wake all night, but the men took turns watching him until Bob's rising bell awoke the baby. At the same moment Collins entered the house. Then peace fell on the bachelors. for Collins was widower, and they felt he understood the situation.
 "Why didn't you inform the police?" he asked. "Some mother was crazy about this baby last night. D
 After feeding and dressing Joey, Col lins picked him up, went out of the house and slowly walked down the street. He had passed one of the blocks of houses when a woman's s scream stop ped him, and the next instant Joey was in his mothers arms.
 The servant girl was new to the neigh borhood. She had placed Joey on the wrong steps and had then chased two small boys who had run away with the baby carriage. When she returned and could not find Joey, she became hyster ical, and the family roamed the streets and haunted the police stations all night, with Joey in a bachelors den a block away. ay.-Chicago Record.
 ! If man had been limited to the use ! of his natural weapons of defense, he ! would long since have been beaten out | )f the contest by the animal kingdom