The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-09-27
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

me3" Il am" But are you sure that
you are certain?'-N. y. Press.
will you marry me?" Il am al
ready engaged to four men" But you
can only marry enc, you know. Let
me be the one B oston Beacon.
-AIullins-''Timew waits for no man. 3"
Gullins-''S Sometimes it does. l have a
watch waiting for me at my pawnbrO-
ker's. Syracuse Post.
1t is hard to settle questions
And it 5 hard to settle wills:
And hard to settle household goods;
But hardest to settle bills.
Boston Courier.
Though far away, though ruthless
time have scattered memory's dream;
some scenes can ne'er decay, but rest
where all is change, like islands in
dream. Thomas Dryden.
-Herdso-"Why didn't you defend
your wife's suit for divorce?" Saidso-
Il had known for years that what she
said was law."-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
-She-''Why do they have favorites
in horse races?' HER to show peo-
pie what BANKED chumps they were
for not playing the outsiders. Buffalo
Courier.
"Nell-''What makes you think
your new sutton is entirely too honest?'
Belle-"Because he wouldn't even steal
kiss. N. Y. Morning Journal.
-"Tabbs tells me he's been making
number of improvements about his
home recently" Yes, | noticed he's
sold the piano and lawn mower. In
ter Ocean.
What does it mean when a prince
gives a ballet-dancer a diamond neck
lace?' 1T probably means that he has
married an American heiress Pick
Me-Up
Mrs. Hiland-'I don't like to see
girls throw kisses. 1t is so immodest."
Mr.. Hiland-"Yes; and then they are
usually such poor marksmen. Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph
-"Tunkins never leaves the game
empty handed said one poker player.
That's so" replied another Every
time l called him last night he had
full hand, "-Washington Star.
They say Sphoftley was badly bit
by that handsome Miss Phlirtem the
other night Pm not surprised. |
saw her throw her eyes at him several
times. buffalo Courier
-She-'And is the hair dye as dan
gerous as the doctors say?" Ie-"Eyery
bit. An uncle of mine once dyed his
hair, and three weeks after he married
a widow with four children. File
gende Batter.
Gould you use little poem Of
mine?" asked the poet. II guess
could, replied the editor. There are
two broken panes of glass, and hole
in the sllylight. How large is it,
Atlanta Constitution.
Weary Northumberland do you
think Of that? This here paper says
that You oughtn't to eat when you are
tired Hungry Higgins-''I think it
is scheme put up to starve us fellers
TO death. indianapolis Journal
-Laura-"Mamma, when | asked Mr.
Goodcatch to button my glove last
night his hand trembled so that it took
him a minute or two. | wonder if he is
in love- Mrs. Figg-'I don't know.
Perhaps he may have been out late the
night before. "-Indianapolis journal,
-He-''The landlord says we must all
come to the mountains again next
year. She-'But l should have to
break all my other engagements" He
You'd do that for me, wouldn't you?"
She-'O, but this is awfully sudden -
Scribners.
"A doctor who was passionately fond
of cards was called to the bedside of
patient. He pulled out his watch, felt
the sick mans pulse and began to
count: "Seven, eight, nine, ten, jack,
queen, king, ace" The patient imme-
diately burst out laughing and got
well again. L Echo du NOrd