The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-07-21
PlTH AND POINT.


When young lady declares that
she is afraid Of machinery she means
sewing machine-G Galveston News.
-She-"The happicst marriages are
said to be those of people with opposite
characteristics. He-sThat's why
am looking for q girl with money
Fliegende Batter.
--Baptiste-" You do not seem to
brush your masters trousers every
day?" Jean--'sMais, non, he carries the
change in his waistcoat pocket. Jour
nal pour Rire, Paris.
-''Did you tender your resignation"
said man to an ex-officeholder. II
resigned by request. sir, but there was
nothing tender about it. TWAS tough,
sir."-Pittsburgh Chronicle.
-Muggins-''So you made your debut
as an actor last night, Ell? How did
you get on?' Footlite-"Oh, I got on
all right, but I couldn't get off quick
enough. "-Philadelphia Record.
-Dick-"Say, let's shoot off these
firecraclers and make all the ladies in
the parlor jump" Jim-"Gracious!
They'd never hear EN-" Diclx-"Why?"
Jim-"They're playin' whist. Inter
Ocean.
--sPinkley is throwing his money
away in trying to make a singer of his
daughter" Tinker-s'No voice, eh?"
Superb voice, but she's friendly and
agreeable with everyone" = Inter
Ocean.
-She-"Why is it they speak of
man as strong candidate? He doesn't
have to lift anything, does hep" He
''Er-not exactly; but his friends all
expect him to carry the day."-Buffalo
Courier.
-Wife-'Now, dear, what do you
think will really be woman's place in
politics?" Husband-"As they are so
seldom at home I suppose they will be
classed as the floating vote. cleveland
Plaindealer.
-''No bad news, I hope, in the black
bordered letter you have received" MIR.
Grabber-"Well, / guess not. My uncle
James has just breathed his last after
weeks of suffering, and I'm his herr
Inter-Ocean.
-Hoax-"Do you think the English
tongue will ever become dead lam
gragc?' Joax--"Well, Judging from
the way some people persist in murder
ing it it ought to be dead w."-Philn-
delphia Record.
Mrs. Naybor-"A woman never
really finds a man out until she mar
ries him, does she?" Mrs. Leftlone--
mot if he belongs to four or five clubs
and twice that number of lodges, as my
husband does Buffalo Courier.
80" said the lady lecturer, 81 have
had such delightful conversation with
the gentleman you saw bow to me as
he left the train. He told me that the
emancipation Of women had been his
life work for ever so many years."
EYES," said the woman who had come
to meet her, ''that is so. He has been
a divorce lawyer ever since could re-
member" Star.
Probably His Best Plan.-Reformed
Pugilist-"Doctor, I'm thinking of mar
rying and settling down" Eminent
Surgeon-s'Well?" "Well, you see this
broken nose of mine Can you straight
en- it?'' mo, my friend. 1t is too late
for that" "How about false nose"
''That would look worse yet" ''Can't
You graft piece of flesh on it and kind
o. build it out?" ''That wouldn't inn
prove it any. The nose is all knocked
to one side" 'sIt's too blamed badl
What would you advise me to do?"
"You say you want to marry?" "Yes."
slave you got wife picked out yet?"
mo" 'sWell, You can find plenty of
girls willing to marry You, even with
that nose" Doctor, I'm little bit
particular" "Then marry cookbook
ing blind girl. Chicago Tribune"