The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-11-21
HUMOR OF TIE DAY.

Man wants but little here below
woman. wants the rest.--Truth.
A man never knows how to be son
until he has become father. -Atchi-
son Globe.
With most people, success has a
strong tendency to destroy belief IN
luck.
He-"I hear that you are going
abroad in a month";" She-''Not
much-in boat. Truth.
He-"I'm telling you the honest
truth" Shells there dishonest
truth ?"-Detroit Free Press.
Popularity is one of the most vague
and underlined possessions that man Ho-
quires. Milwaukee Journal.
When n man goes into business,
everybody wonders "where on earth
he got the money. ."--Atchison Globe.
This sweet old world is funny,
But we learn Il by degrees;
The bees first steal the honey,
Then we steal it from the bees!
Atlanta Constitution.
The trouble about the trials of this
life is that fellow always wants to
render his own verdicts. s.-Clevoiand
Plain Dealer.
Visitor discovering acquaintance
-"Hello, what are you here forT"
Prisoner (briehy)-'For six months.
Detroit Free Press.
The Author-'I trust you enjoyed
my playP" The Pnrvenu-'Yes, in
deed. The entr'actes are so delight
full. "-Chicogo Record.
Nor bruised nor bleeding WIS the man
Who near the cars front took II seat
No broken bones had he, although
He'd fallen over forty icct.
al want o position for my son as an
editorY" "What are his qualifica-
tionsP" "Failed in everything else
Atlanta Constitution.
'Did you tell your mistress that l
called yesterday when she was outT
Maid-'It wasn't necessary. She saw
you coming. Inter-Ocean.
! ''Flossic has accepted that horrid
old Goldheap. What do you suppose
she was thinking Off" Hettio-"Her-
Sell, uGAT. -OHlttBo IAtSA CNSs--'
She laughed at every little jest,
Even though II might be simpoi
1t wasn't wish 10 show her taste,
But n cunning little dimple.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Agent Bunker is n social philoso-
pher." Caller-"Tn what respects"
Agent-"Ho never kicks when we dun
him repeatedly for his rent. he just
moves.
DIR. Emdee-''Years ago the doctors
used to bleed their patients for about
everything they had. " Van Pelt-.-
''The practice doesn't change much,
does it?"-Truth.
Kashem-"Why don't you put a
check to that fellow who is everlast-
ingly duuningyoug" Bilker-"What'd
be the use? The bank wouldn't pay
it."-Bulfalo Courier.
Old Lady (proudly)-'My boy is q
hustler all the time, but he Is hump
ing himselfhere lately" Visitor-"ls
that so? What bicycle does he rideT'
Detroit Free Press,
Now all the college boys bastow
Upon their hair aud muscle
Consummate care, because they know
In football they must hustle.
Washington Star.
Minks-"T "There is one great objec-
tion to onions. Winks-"What' s
that?" "They are wholesome. "Do
you consider that an objection?" Ger
tainly. People who are fond of them
don't die hall SO soon as you'd like
them TO. New York Weekly.
''Yas," said Mr.. Jason, 81 elbow
that women mir the sentimental sex
and nll that sort of thing, but I've
allays noticed that when a couple git
engaged it is The woman that first
thinks of iggerin' out how they air
to live on his salary. Indianapolis
journal.
Indicative: "What makes You think
Jack Youngley is going to propose to
you?" "Why, we were dancing the
other night and l eomplimented him
upon the ensy way in which he held
me. 'Oh, yes, Inc said, it's always
I casy for me to hold my own. ~