Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1894-11-15
EVENING EcHos.
Watts-"By the way, who was the
patron saint of tlshermen9" Potts
"Dunno. II isn't Ananias, is it2"


--ChicGgo Inter Ocean.
lourist-"You must have lived good
many years, my friend ?" Hodge
ayes, yew're roight there, sir-ever
since OF were a little lad.n-PdH Mall
Budget.
Cook-"The boarders complain that
the soup tastes like thin dish water"
Mrs. Slimdiet--tGoodnes mel We
must have forgotten to put any onion
in."-New York Weekly
Coroner-"You swear positively that
you were not to blame for the mans
death z" DR.. Tyro (haughtily)-"Cer.
tainly, sir; they did not call me soon
enough. "-Ba1itIo Courier.
Ellie lat her lessons)-"I think his
tory's much nicer than arithmetic, aun-
tie" Auntie-"Why, dear?" Ellie
Because you don't have to prove your
answers."-PaR MaH Budget.
Tommy-"Say, paw" Mr.. Figg-
Nov, what is the matterP" "When
the Fourth of July falls on Sunday,
does it fall hard enough to break the
Sabbath p-Indtaaapolis Journal.
Shetland am |, really and truly, the
only woman you ever loyed3" He
well, Sylvia, no; but / hope you
won't have any feelings of jealousy
towards my maternal grandmother."-
Hdrper's Bazaar.
Widow-"Well, Mr.. Brief, have you
read the will?" Bref-"Yes, but can't
make anything out OF it," Heirs-"Let
US have it patented. A will that lawyer
can't make anything out of is bless
ing. Hilsoaukee Sentinel.
if inspiration
Needs libation,
And poets are not funning,
Hard that October
rhymes to sober
And all the stills are running
-4ttuHta Constitution.
Mrs. Flatter-"Geurse, dear, the cook
is going Tomorrow" George Why
what is the matter with her Thought
she liked the place" Mrs. F.-"That is
the trouble. she says she is too con
tented with us. ~ Br0oktyB Life.
A dear little Ounce Of u girl Ann Eliza,
Dreamed that She dined with the Common
Dlvisor.
They ate up the rule
She had studied at school,
And at once she began to grow rapidly
wiser.
Youths Companion.
Old Fisherman-"Y0u didn't tish long
this morning." Amateur TREMENDOUSLY
-"Shar-sharks out th-thcre." "Oh
Scared the fish, did they p Ill didn't
walt to see whether the lisn were scared
or not."-,Street d, Smiths Good Nelos.
The autumn lay
Again is here
Ihe poets send 1t
Far and near.
And yet the humble
Hen, they say,
EXcels them all
In autumn lay.
-IIdShtngtoa Star.
SIS this your umbrella, sir?" inquired
the stranger in the brown suit, hurrying
after the stranger in the drab suit who
had just got of the train. "My deal
SIR answered the other, there need be
no formalities in this case. We both
saw it in the vacant seat at the same
time. You got it first. l see it is q
gold handled affair, and congratulate
you. Good-day Chicago Tribune.
"Whats the matter with that mule p
asked man who was standing on the
bank of the canal. "IIe doesn't seen
to be of any account whatever" "He'.
all right" replied the boatman. "rhe
faults with me. Ye see, mister, he
| understands every word ye say to him.
He doesn't pay much attention to wha
you say" "Ihat's what shows his in
telligence. I've jist lined the church
and he thinks I'm a stranger."-LJe.
The millionaire from the East took {
meal la carte in Western restaurant
and when he came to pay his bill be
called for the landlord. "Here, land
lord" he exclaimed, "this is too much
| wont pay it," "What's the matter
sirI" replied the landlord very obsequi
ously. 81 say the bill is too much
You've got me charged dollar for two
eggs. What's that for? Are eggs S,
scarce? ?" "N-n-no, sir" hesitated ant
stammered the landlord, "but million
aires are. "-DetroH Free Press.
"You must excuse me, said the timic
woman from the country, walking III
to the clerk OF a, downtown hotel thu
other day, "but am so ignorant Of city
ways that | must ask for instructions
| Now, in case | want a street-car wha
| do dor" The clerk started to explain
| politely, but the woman was too loqua
| cious to let him say more than wore
OF two. 81 don't like to run about ant
shout and wave my arms, and maxi
| myself conspicuous" she interrupted
"What want to know is, whether Til,
car will stop if simply stand quietl,
in the middle Of the track and wait fo
it TO come up TO me-" The clerk though
it would.-BUBalo Express.
A young man who looked every incl
the bridegroom stood in the rotunda o
| the Great Northern the other day chat
ting with Chicago friend. The youGa
man was on his wedding tour. Ii
hailed from indianapolis, in which tow
he had always been considered
"founder," an he was telling his Gil.
cago friend Of ne manner Of his pro
posal to the ie. She had known d
mis- Wild way ma fondiy hoped to II.
form him tnaa5n marriage. after
mad popped tbs question and she hat
accepted me- la aid, Il at once begat
to talk about tine wedding. I'VE will g
away somewhcres by ourselves, N,
dear said. 'faere will he no flourish
no cards, no 'etem1ny-.' Here sh
Interrupted M and, with dignitie
sweep of the arm, declared, Mr.. -,
shall certainly insist upon ceremony
-Chtcag0 Times.
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