The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-07-08
COUNTRY HOUSE ETIQUETTE.
The Respective Duties of Hostess
and Guest.

The Respective Duties of Hostess
and Guest.
Summer hospitality has been so
simple in its manifestations in Amer
lea until recently, that no particular
rules governing it have been called Tor;
bat along with the growing elabor-
ateness of life in every phase, the for
NAL "house-party' has developed into
function demanding a special code of
manners. OF course, as in all social
matters, the tendency is to copy the
English customs, and considering
that the English invented and perfect
ell the house-party, this seems a wise
thing to do--with notifications, and
allowing for the superior expensive
ness and cordially of American man
ners.
INVITATIONS.
In writing an invitation the length
of time the guest is expected to re-
main should be explicitly stated in
justice to him or her. Do not say
"a few days" or 'tas long as you
! find it pleasant" but say definitely
from Saturday to Monday" from
the tenth to the fifteenth or 1.-The
week. as the case may be, which en-
ables the guest 10 perfect his arrange
ments for coming and going with
| greatest satisfaction and certainty to
both himself and his host, and does
away with the necessity for any pre-
functoTy pressing for a longer stay
when the time of departure arrives.
When a guest has been invited for a
definite time, he knows that an extern
! sion Of the invitation arises from a
real desire for his society, and not
from mere polite hypocrisy.
In the invitation it is also well, if
other guests are expected, to casually
mention their names No one can be
expected to keep Informed of the likes
and diSlikeS of all their acquaintances
and when one knows whom one is like
| " 10 meet, one can decide whether sew
eral days in q country house with these
fellow guests would be agreeable or
not. For example, Miss Brown, who
has just refused Mr.. Jones, would hard
/ ly he inclined to accept Mrs. Smiths
invitation if she knew the forlorn swain
was 10 be of the party; or if Mr.. Rob
inson was aware that that odious john
sen. who always forgets that they have
ever been presented to each other, is
to sit opposite him at breakfast for
six days, he will find an excuse, and
not only will he be spared unpleasant
contact with a person he dislikes, but
Mrs. Smith will not be made to regret
having asked uncongenial guests.
IN THE MATTER OF DATES.
Another point upon which both host
and guest should exercise care, is to be
Iuuite sure that they understand each
other on the matter of dates. The
formula should be something like this:
Dear Miss Jones:
Can you not give us the pleasure of
a few days visit in June, from the 10Th
to the 18th? Your friends, the Carys
leone to us then, and Will enjoy their
visit ali the more If you can meet them
here Corlandt Newdigate. Miss Chan
ler the Brooldields and Profess
Schlieman form the party, and it only
needs your presence to make it de-
lightfully complete. If you can come
the best train is the one leaving tr
Grand Central station at $3.50 pm,
IRVING at birmingham at $40. The car
rage will meet you. Pray make my
compliments to your mother, and be-
tlieve me very sincerely, yours,
EDITH WESTPORT.
May %"
In answering, Miss Jones should say:
Dear Mrs. Westport:
Thank you very much for the kind
Invitation to Westport hall from June
10th to 18th. The people you mention
are all friends or acquaintance of
mime, and 1 shall greatly enjoy meeting
them. l shall leave here on the 10th by
the $3.50 train, and look forward with
Infinite pleasure to five delightful days
with you. Mama is well and sends her
kind regards. Believe me, dear Mrs.
! WeStport very sincerely yours
"ALICE VAN ASTOR JONES'"
May 80.
COMPOSING A HOUSE PARTY.
zone of the most difficult feats of all
ones social life is getting the right
people together said a popular young
woman who was making up list for a
series of dinners. MY method is to
think out my dinner six weeks before
hand, and carefully select eight people
whom ] know to be of the same social
Il standing, near enough in age to be
congenial, and of the same general
tastes then l write down the names OF
four more as alternatives in case of re-
gret or rnishapS at the last moment -
Really exclaimed her friend in
amazement Il never think of such a
thing. When l make up my mind to
give dinner / just ask lot of people
; whom / owe dinners to, and let it &c
at that. Perhaps that is why my par
ties are never as gay and successful
as / would like to have them to be-
And the latter's method being the
more common one, is one reason why
not only dinners and house parties
; so frequently fail of the giver's inten.
ton of giving pleasure to her friends
/ a house party especially requires the
| carefulest forethought in its compost
ton, as the members of it are to be
thrown in intimate contact for severa
; long days. and if they can find no point
t of congenial contact they not only bore
one another terribly, but throw a great
Il added burden Of effort upon the hos
/ tess.
The rule that the woman, whose
: words have been quoted, followed ir