Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-11-08


@WHAT / tell my wife goes" I'm
deed?" @Yes. she takes 1t to her
mother right away, and pretty soon
1t is everywhere. "-Huck.
4DID you attend the Colonel's socia-
ble?" "No, but I was represented"
"How?" Credited him for the gro
ceries Atlanta Constitution.
Mr. GREATHEAD, the landlord,
says he prefers as tenants experienced
chess players. because 1t is 80 seldom
they move. -Roston Transcript
THE Peary baby was born In north
latitude 77.44. II she is not born to
beat policy there is nothing in the
figure eleven.-St. Louis Star Say
ings
1T Is hard for q man to imagine
himself "just as young as he ever
was" when his wife asks him to
bring In an armful of wood.
Times.
LOCAL EDIToR-Can refer to old
Stiffiy as an old settler? Editor-in-
chief don't know. Call up the
subscription department. = Detroit
Tribune
SUBsCRIBER-"I have just heard
that fifty people are coming to settle
here" Editor-"Thank the Lord!
John, make out the bills Atlanta
Constitution.
AS SOON as his engagement Is an
nounced, the average young man be-
gins to observe that there are other
nice girls besides his betrothed who
are pretty. -Atchison Globe.
SHE-Before we were married you
said it would give you the greatest
pleasure to crafty my every wish.
He-My dear, I said your lightest
wish; and I'll do it, too. Vogue.
FIGG-"What a peculiar man Dun.
der Is. He has sovereign contempt
for anybody who doesn't know as
much as he does" Fogg-"I should
think he would" - Boston Tran
script.
at must be strange for the Span
iards to feel that they are ruled by
mere infant" "Why?' "It's so un-
common" ~Humph! It's plain you
never had an infant "-Harper's
Bazaar.
YOUNG LADY-aIs there a place
here where / can turn my carriage
around?" Villager-"Yes, miss.
Right out at the end of this street
is the circus lot. - New York
Weekly.
Col. KAINTUCK-I don't see how
poor folks are to keep warm this
winter. Wooden goods are
lower. Col. Kaintuck-Yes, but
whisky's gone up. = New York
Weekly.
DUDLEY (at the door-"Is Miss
Flitterly engaged?" Servant "Oi
don't rightly know, sor, yit: but thot
other young man has been sparkin'
her for full hour!"-New York Ad-
vertiser.
HER FATHER-Has this young man
any resources to support a wife?
Birdie McGinnis-He's going to save
S5 week by giving up cigarettes.
That's enough to begin on, amt it,
pa?-Siftings.
HAVE you an acquaintance with
Blank?" "Blank? Oh, yes We
come down in the same electric car
every morning. In this way we are
thrown together great deal. Ell
mira Gazette.
SHE-Mr. Spooner, have told you
Ior the last time that 1 will not be
your wife. He-Thank you; I am
going to propose once more, so of
course your answer will be yes
Harper's Bazaar.
LITTLE BoY-The teacher is really
interested in me. Fond Mother-I
am glad to hear that. Little Boy
Yes'm. She said she was goin' to
tell you that / never knew my les
sons.-Good News.
BossLEIaH (after the tenth miss)-
Well, I really must confess 1 don't
seem able to hit the birds to-day.
Keeper OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES mind,
sir, you do scare 'em wonderful, any
how. Half Holiday.
BIRD Dealer-I feel bound to tell
you, sir, that the parrot which you,
have selected Is a terrible swearer.
Customer-All the better; I will let
him do my telephoning for me.
Mount Vernon Echoes.
FIRST CHICAGO MATRoN-Why do
you associate with her? She has
been divorced only once. Second Chi
cago Matron-I know, dear, but YOU
mustn't forget what a lovely scandal
there was at the time.-New York
Herald.
y "Do YOU care for art?" asked the
woman who was making a short call.
Sometimes. My husband brought
home lovely lot of engravinqs last
night" what were they?" united
States treasury notes Washington
Star.
MRS. KIMBALL Ito tramp)-So you
are very hungry and want something
to eat? Well, here's some cold veal.
Tramp-But haven't got no fork to
eat 1t with. Mrs. Kimball-Well,
you just keep on going down that way
little further and you'll find fork
In the road. Truth.
THE hardest thing to acquire, miss"
said the dramatic teacher, "is the art
of laughing naturally without ap-
parent effort" ~Oh, I've got that
down flne," said the would-be SOU
brette. Il typewrote for three years
for man who was always telling me
g. a. II .I L. l.