The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1894-02-24
puNceNr PARAGRAPHS.


--Figg-"I'll let you know I'm not
the fool you think" Fogg-"Possibly
not. Which one are you?" = Boston
Transcript.
--Gray-"Dilliugton dresses pretty
we'll. Wonder II he earns much mon
ey?" BlaclS-"No; but he has big
salary. Boston Transcript.
-Ethel-"Jaci Jollyboy is very i'm
pudent. He attempted to kiss me last
night" arissa-"Impudent2 Ishould
call him crazy."-N. Y. Press.
She Didn't. = Husband Grately)-
"You think you know everything, don't
you?' Wife (softly)-"No, dear; new
er did know why you know so little"
Detroit Free Press.
Tin worried about my st. Bernard
dog" "Why?" 'He's losing his appe
tite." "I'm worried about mine, too "
"Why?' "IIe isn't" Washington
Star.
Handlers doctor, I'm getting SO
near-sighted that can't recognize peo-
Pile in the street. What shall I do for
it?" The Doctor-"Why not pay your
ebts?"-Elmira Gazette.
-"Can leave little poem with
you?" asked the young author. "You
can" replied the editor, "all poems
get left in this vicinity" Atlanta Con-
stitution.
In the Cannibal Islands,
"What is the matter with you, my
son? Have you eaten anything that
disagreed with you?' Son-"That is
why I ate him. -Boston Transcript.
Not in Love.--"How do you know
that DeVere is not in love with Mabel
Sweetbriar?' because / heard him
tell her the other evening when they
came from church that he knew of a
short cut home. .''-Detroit Free Press.
holly-"It-aw-may be all wight
you know, but I-aw-find it doosed
hard to believe that we are descended
from-aw-monkeys. Miss Smart
latter looking him over)-"I DON'T
N. Y. Press.
| -"And so, Peter, you spell women
with an 'a?' said the teacher, correct
ing an exercise. please, sir" was the
reply, ''my papa told mamma only yes
terday that women We're singular
beings. Music and Drama.
--Seedeigh-"I must raise som,
money somewhere. I owe my land
lady for six weeks board" Stuart,
"Can't you stand her off any farther?'
edeigh-''Great Scott! no; she's dis
tant enough already. ."-Raymond'
Monthly.
-Chappie-"Doctah, I'm afwaid
have tobacco heart" squills-"Have
eh? What do you smoker" Chappie-
"Cigawettes, doctah." DIR. Squills-
"Calm your fears. Tobacco heart i
only produced by the use of tobacco
philadelphia Record.
There are times" said the mai
with the oratorical manner, "when w
are overwhelmed with humiliation a
the powerlessness of the human mind.
''Thats very true" was the reply, g
am often made to feel So" Indeed?
Eyes, have four-year-old daughte
who asks questions. - Washington
Star.
-Mistress-"I have just been read
ing, Bridget, of a girl who was burne
to death by kindling the fire with kerc
sene. l hope you never lindle you
fire with kerosene, Bridget" Bridge
-"No, indade, mum; uses paper an
n match to kindle wild; it is only
hurry up the foire after it be kindle
, that pours on the kerosene. ."-Bosto
Transcript.
Mrs. Bingo-"I have one of tn
. checklist cooks you ever saw. Sh
actually wore my sealsl>in cloak We!
terday, out in the park" Mrs. King
ley-O, my! Did you demonstrate wit
her?' Mrs. Bingo-''I should say die
and she replied that she was very sorry
and that she wouldn't have done it
she had known it was SO warm."-N
Y. Herald.