Tensas gazette., 1894-08-03
RUNNING TO TITLES.
Americans Arc Getting Too Fond
Of Handles to Their Names
Military Uf1cials Who Have Never Per-
formed Any Field Service Some
of the Ahsurdities Of an
Inane Practice.

lnaEe Bractlfe.
In no place perhaps is the inclination
TO afix titles TO the names of public
men more prominent than in Washing
ton, where the fields Of American life
have unrivaled opportunities for devel-
opment. The sto k of generals, colonies,
majors or judges who never saw service
in the field or forum but who are not at
all unfamiliar with practice at the bar
OF one sort or another, is unlimited. and
sometimes leads TO confusion. amusing
or annoying as the case may be In
most states. if not in all, it is custom
ary for the governor to surround him
self with mi itary staff ranging from
general to captain. This is 4 custom
handed down from colonial days, when
the governor of a colony had his coun-
ell, the members of whi u in the militia
ry organizations OF the colony were COM
manders of the for ,cs in their respect
i've counties. with the title of colonel.
As niiitaryi4m declined il was perfectly
natural for the advisors Of the governor
to inherit the military title. as a dis
tinction from THE mass of men who were
not thus honored with close friendship
with the executive. Later, under state
governments, the governors staff be-
came quite a feature in the life of poll
ties. Many worker for the success of
the ticket has been appeascd by appoint
mcnt to place on the governors staff,
and has gone down TO posterity with all
the glamor of military title surround
inc him II NOT for
staff officer. with perhaps the exception
of the adjutant general, to have a par
ticle of knowledge of military affairs
beyond adcptness in making saluteo or
acknowledging. one. But quite fire.
quently he has not even that. At the
Washington centennial in New York a
few years ago the streets were full Of
brilliantly attircd staff officers. and the
Washington Post thinks that the men
on guard duty who brought their guns
to present arms whenever 4 ranking Of
ficer hove in sight must have been. high
ly amused at the questioning glance
given them by more than one of the
carpet knights as they walked or rode
past without acknowledging the salute.
AS governors are frequently changed.
sdy every four years, in forty-four
states, the possibilities in the way Of
the manufacture of colOnels and gen.
erals are readily appreciated Giving
each governor twenty staff officers and
aids--a modest e5timate-in twenty
years there would have been nearly Eve
Thousand Of such Distinguished iudivid-
uals. and when tO these are added those
who bCG- the titles because their fathers
once had them. the number is expanded
much moro. The constitution of the
STAFF. too, allows of m Interchange Of
titles. The judge advocate general
ranking as colonel. for instance. may be
called with propriety judge, colonel or
general, and so on through this list
Other causes, however, contribute to
the list of titles. Ina neigboring city
gentleman connected with the editorial
s.aH OF a newspap had the distinction
to quit the army at the close OF the war
as private. But under the luxuriating
influence Of nsvvsp2pf work he ac-
quired portly frame, developed his
good comradeship and gathered a col
lection of anecdotes and witticisms
dition to any party out for fun. In an
evil hour one of his younger associates
called him colonel, and colonel he has
been ever since.
Not long ago. in a southern city, was
raised a monument to a confederate
leader. One of the newspapers pub
lished quite an attractive souvenir,
which. by request, was sent to Massa-
chusetts town for presentation to a
grand army pest Along with the SOU
venir went n letter of the shalse-hands-
acrosS-thc- hc-bloody-chasm order from tho
editor. The presentation took place
and the local papers had quite an ac-
count of the event, including a repro
duction of TIE patriotic letter" from
the southern editor, who was called
Gen" So-and-so. AS he had Just
turned thirty years the editor enjoyed
the joke on himself. In another city a
popular railroad Official was never
called anything bat general by one who
was frequently thrown with him. As
the official was quite young man,
whose military record had never been
made, his friend was asked one day why
he gave him a title and replied: why,
don't you know ne is a general passen-
ger agent?" These are but few of the
absurdities outcropping from the insane
practice against which signs of protest
are becoming apparent.