The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-10-17

1t was the old, old story. But, as a
matter of Introductory fact, this tale
throughout is a character very COM
monplace. Mr.. Jacob Witham wanted
a wife
In seeking, however, for a partner
with whom 10 share his name, liberty
and other hereditaments, he resorted
to the not Unprecedented but some
what unconventional method of pub
fishing his craving in the newspapers
of san Francisco. Moreover, the ad-
vertisement was not hidden away in
that labyrinth of type popularity term
ed "want ads, - but in bold faoe occu-
pied at least ten squares of display. 1t
read:
~ WANT 4 WIFE,
AZ am 35-year old, a thoroughbred
and square. | own 1900 cattle, 600
horses, have 10000 sunk, and, bar
ring billiards, nOrthers aud other Wis
itations OF a glorious climate, shall
never tighten the cinch strap for hum
ger. Morally / am on the fence, |
drink when | please and swear at the
cattle, but | would not swear at a wo-
man? Jacob Witham, Quemadura Flat,
California"
But Mr.. Witham's aspiration, pro-
claimed beyond all misinterpretation,
was destined to he considered by an
individual manifestly unsuited to its
requirements. In coy parlor with
in the aristocratic limits of san Fran
cisco it had caught the eye of one Fred
erick Weldon, and to that gentleman's
handsome features il brought smile
OF amusement. Possibly he was con-
trasting the advertisers position with
his own-he was being entertained bv
a young girl of admirable wifely adap-
tations. And yet such was not the ex-
act trend of his thoughts. Miss Doro-
thy lialsted was a very pretty girl and
withal charming. Moreover she was,
AT that moment, seated beside him on
a low sofa, and her dainty head SEEM
ed as if created by nature to rest con-
iidingiy on some strong, male shoul-
der. But San Francisco was graced
with many of her kind. They were
all attractive; he loved the sex.
But in Mr.. Witham's announcement
which he had carelessly lifted from a
table at his elbow, Fred discerned an
opportunity for possible diversion, and
he extended it to his companion.
Lets apply" was his suggestion.
Miss Halsted smiled
Il am only 49," she returned. 81
can wait year Gr two longer before re-
sorting to any such desperate means"
Fred was on his knees (metaphoric-
ally at once.
Dolly! Miss Dollyr' he calculated
reproachfully.
But this assumption of tender depre-
cation elected only light, ripping
laugh. 1t is To be feared that the
young girl deemed all such courteous
platitudes her just tribute.
Nor need it be stated with what
equally specious phrases she diverted
the conversation back into the other
channels, suffice To say that she exhib-
tied the skill of an adept.
Meantime, however, Fred retained
the newspaper, and after brief inter
val, he again asked:
'Why not answer it? I'll write the
letter and you copy it. Then well in
close the photo of an actress-if you
can find one consistent with his idea
and await results.
Again Miss Halsted laughed, but il
was only musical murmur, manifest
ing little appreciation; she even APP
peared somewhat bored by his persist
ency. Nevertheless she rose and pro-
cured the materials requisite for CORES
pondence.
"But what name shall | sign?" she
asked, when at last it had been cop
led.
"Nou might Use q composite" was
the reply. Yes, that's it; make it Dor
othy Weldon
The young girl cOlored and lowered
her eyes. Bat she accepted the sug-
gestion, and over such pseudonym W a>
the letter sent.
As an epistolarlary precursor of future
hymeneal joys it was a masterpiece
or 80, at least, Fred averred. 1t was to
DC presumed that the unknown Mr..
Nithaln was cattle barOn-i. e., a
cowboy on whom fortune had smiled
therefore, all stilted elegance of phras-
eology was avoided. Moreover, the
gentleman appeared to desire a wife
considerably his junior and for that
reason "a certain maidenly coyness and
naivete was necessary. But Fred was
equal to the task. Miss Weldon was
ashamed, almost afraid to address Mr..
Witham- She was alone, however
with no one to advise; was what peo
pie vulgarly termed a shop girl. She
had also been told that gentlemen in
his walk OF life retained much of that
chivalric element of disposition long
since extinct in large cities. Where
fore she trusted-and believed-that h,
would accord her communication thai
confidence befitting her sincerity
Fred contemplated his last bit o
flattery with smile of complacency.
Hell not swear at his cattle for 4
week after that" he observed. Then
he consigned the letter to his insid,
pocket.
Quemadura Flat was isolated from
railroads, and ten days elapsed before
an answer WAS received. \ brief mote
from Miss Observation-Disclosures by TIA,
way, TO Miss Dorothy Weldon-ac-
quainted Fred of its arrival, and with
in the snug precincts of her dwelling
he found that young lady considerably
amused. Mr.. Witham's reply was Ger
tainly in keeping with the advertise
ment by which il had beeSpreceded.
MY Dear Miss Weldon il began
Thanks for your letter. Thanks, too
for your picture. | also thank God
that have been permitted to receive
them. Perhaps that sounds like Z
stampede of ferveney, bnt I'm more ae.
custOmed to stampedes than to writing
letters. Therefore when tell you that
j like your points you can back my