Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1894-07-22

tlesnake'B neau etlCklnE ou' OF u mole
he bears OF TO the left and comedies
that that particular hole belongs to
that particular snake.
It's well. / am glad that the gov
errors companions who are all clever
fellows. were spared the modification
OF seeing your humble servant turn
Pantata Croker's Texas friend inside
out and scrnpe him-metaphoricall
speaking. They have suffered enough
already from his indiscretions.
one Of the bankers told me, In strict
confidence, how Hogg scared away a
capitalist In Chicago who was anxious
to invest in large amount of capital
in Texas. The Chicago man Intended
TO start chewing gum factory in
Texas and would have furnished en-
ployment to tens of thousands of
mouths.
Then he was introduced to the gov
ernor. who made speech to him about
the blessings that would result from
the deficiency In the state treasury.
This was the first the Chicago capital
ist had heard about the deficiency The
governor Dragged Of how he had made
fh,. monopolistic cormorants squat. and
how Reagan, II he was elected, would
keep On doing business at the OIL
stand.
After that the chewing gum man
grew cold and listless. He no longer
showed his ,oll of bills and quit treat
ing the crowd. This made the gov
ornor very unpopular with the rest of
his party They said his conduct showed
he was not trying to advance the best
interests of Texas.
Several members OF the party com-
planned abo';t another disagreeable fea-
ture of the trip. The official action OF
the governor in trying to make the
Southern Pacific railroad transport aud
feed the Texas wing of Coxey's army
has given him national reputation as
the guardian angel OF that class of
citizens One OF the consequences is
that the hotels where the governors
party put UP were besieged by hard
looking citizens The hotel bouncers
have complained Of corns on their
hands and general overwork in firing
into the street the dilapidated buns
who called to see Governor Hogg on
business.
After such of the governors personal
friends as We're admitted had taken
their departure. considerable property
was missing. Every member of the
party rns had his pockets picked by
friei Dis Of the governor, while the more
charitably disposed have heen tapped
mora frequently than man with the
drcpsy.
ahtlAlAtib VI Nllt lt ~ WIZ hAN AAhAAN
their watches repudiate the pawnbroker
theory and Insist that some of the gov
ernors unemployed admirers swan off
with the timepieces.
The governor. owing to the good feed
ing he has enjoyed, Is much stoutci
than when he left Texas. This pro
duces n discouraging effect on would
be immigrants They ask anNlously II
they should go to Texas and expand
with the country how long II would b.
before they would grow as fat as the
governor, and what the local facilities
for being treated for It,
other members have underworld TO
remove the bad impression produced
by the gubernatorial adiposity. They
make out he il "a freak, and maintain
that II q man does not eat too much
between meals. and is not too much ad-
dicted to scdtntary habits. he will not
get any fatter in Texas than he would
in any other state Then the pros
pective immigrants would take another
look at Hogg and go off shaking their
heads. For stampedinB immigrants
and capitalists the governor Is an UNI
limited success. 1t looks now as II
some enemy OF Texas had smuggled
him into that party Of excursionists for
the purpose OF dlverting the tide of i'm
migration to other states The Texas
Legislature ought to Investigate this
matter, 1t looks very suspicious.
When the governor swells out and
says his name 10 Hogg, ana that he can
show by unmistakable figures Chis own
among them) that Texas produces more
cotton and corn, and more big cattle
and fattcr hogs than any other state,
a six by eight inch smile spreads over
the listeners face like a lump of butter
on a hot ba,ter cake.
There is, however, no truth i'm the
rumor that dime museum proprietOrs
have been offering large bribes to
members of the party to use their in
fluence to have the governor put on ex-
hlbiton.
The newspapers of Chicago and New
York have published a number Of
complimentary notices about the gov
ernor. The Chicago Herald said
"a party of wild and woody Texans
is in our midst, Governor Hogg is
the star attraction, He is not all wool,
but he is certainly a yard wide. Some
idea of his size can be obtained from
the fact that he is obliged TO use the
freight instead OF the passenger ele-
vator when he inspects our large build
ings"
The New York Sun. whose editor ia
a monomaniac on the subject of fat
men. says:
New York is having the greatest
~ N'N FiA AiN4 NHhNfAlbf IlQEE Is IN inc
city. He is going on to Washington.
If he calls on the president such a
meeting may be very properly called a
mass meeting. II Governor Hogg feels
like taking a rest while in New York
ne might utilize tho Brooklyn bridge as
hammock"
The friends Of Mr. Croker assert thu.
his flight was TO avoid being present
when Governor Hogg made TINT 4th
o. july speech. The fact that Mr.,
Croker returns the day afterthe Fourth
makes this theory seem plausible in
those who have seen the governor way
ing his arms over his head like
uerllek' while he churns up the English
Language with his chin.
Crokers friends say that MS soon as
Re was certain that Hogg was heading
Tor New York, like Nanld Poo when
fled ne
port. Yours truly. "N
BILL SNORT.