New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-02-11
THE Talk OF THE DAY,


Texas Siftings." which ought to be an authority,
but perhaps is not, says that Governor Hogg Of
Texas has Two children named IRA and lima.
The company are seated at the dinner table
People stare at each other and at last the wish
w Bapsss S Srn sy se m.ss s
the house who inquiries What has happened
that 4' wine i has done me good feel better now.
only fancy have just managed to break both the
Voltaire.
Grandma wray. OF Fairbury. H.. who has Just
celebrated her lO2d birthday. says: Il hear people
talking OF hard times now. Why, II those who are
INDUCING in that kind OF talk should see half
as hard times as have experienced In my life the
insane asylums would have TO be established In
every county. and would be enlarged to hold the
crowd. Many times have taken the axe and gone
with my brothers and sisters to the hills 81 vir.
gnia and cut wood. We girls used to cut just a.
much wood tic boys. We would swing the axes
with every bit much vim as they. Where b
there a girl OF fifteen years nowadays that viii
do work like that? Many times have taken a hired
mans place in the field with hoe cultivating
tobacco corn, and even cotton"
Some Of the best friends the devil has belong u
People are who think that the folks in the
house have religion enough.
Many a man who asks God to lead him when he
goes to prayer meeting suffers the devil 10 guide
him when ne goes to vole.
at SHf time eSv When ' a Interfere with their york
that the devil can always use to make CROP
GRams Horn.
President Harper. Of the University OF Chicago.
declared the other day thst the story OF Cain and
Abel in the Book OF Genesis was a myth, and IN
another lecture just delivered at the University.
he declared that the stories of the longved ante
diluvian patriarchs in the Bible were akin TO the
stories Of dem- gods and heroes half human and
half divine In other old theologies. That Mcthuse-
lab or anybody else should have lived mine hundred
and sixty and nine years !" was contrary % the
laws nature. he said and physical impossbility.
Such stories contained historical or scientific
truth but were simply told a crude method Of
teaching religious truth. The Rev. DR. Henson Of
Chicago has condemned these teachings, but the
faculty and students of the University enthusi-
astlcally approve OF them.
Teacher--what is the meaning Of the word 'con~
tiguous?'
Pupl-Dunno
Teacher-It means touching" Give an example
of a sentence containing the word. -
Pupil after prolonged mental strugglel-.Ths
Babes in the Wood is very contiguous story
Worthlngton's Magazine.
The commissioners appointed by Governor Rus
sell OF Massachusetts, to investigate the Norwegian
and Swedish system OF liquor selling report that
the plan is a good one and ought TO be introduced
In Massachusetts.
Customer-How many yards in the piece?
Cierk-Ths is whole bolt; not yard has been
cut on and there Is not another piece or goods ike
" c u then. you'll have to show me
something else. | want enough LOT sIeeVes.--(Cni>
cago Inter Ocean
1t Is expecte1 that Messrs. Moody and sankey Will
make a great many conversions during their en-
gagement in Washington. II they could only cons
vert the Hawaiian "cuckoos" and the tar;f de~
formers they would receive the thanks Of the
country
No Chance FOR H!m.-Mr. Gotham-so you are 60
Rev Arrival from South America)-Yes. s!rt
they've got to drawing things h little TO-, TOO nm ns n ~
now that a man can't even get a job at overthrow-
ing a Government unless he belongs to the EevouS
six mon;hs.-(New-York Weekly.
A correspondent of 1.-THE Boston Transcripts
thus describes fe,e day of the Virgin in the Spanish
city of Orhuea:
Towers and castles. bombs and rockets Of we'll
combined colors I'll the big square with golden
rain The pyrotechnist hangs over the roof OF q
three-story house and cries to the crowd below.
Well how does she go? And everybody yels back
Bully.
Then. TIurrah for the Virgin OF Monseratss
e-e-e"
"'viva-a-a-a" (whish. fzz. fzz boomD
" 'Hurrah for God"
"'VIva-a-a-a" Doom. boom. fzz. whist-stD
"'Hurrah for the inhabitants Of Orhuea-a-a-af
"Vlva-a-a" CWhish. whsh whish. whish. boomD
"'Iurrah for the strangers within our gates.'
"'Vlva-a-a" Doom, boom. boom. boom bango
'IIurrah for the strangers within our gates!
Can we let that pass? Never. on with your hatA
Americanos,
Here's TO Orihuela. Here's 10 the Spaniard!
better nation never walked the EARTH In matter Of
wealth and boosted civilization behindhand In the
race perhaps. but In the sterling qualities OF
chivalry. generosity and hospitality leaving the
rest OF Europe midtown at the horizon. Viva
Espaha"
Thoughtless or rnkind-"Here." said the very
young man. is a chameleon. 5000
'Oh. Mr. Calow: she exclaimed. this Is very
kind Of YOU | shall take good care OF IT.
II hope you will keep n to remind you OF me-"
II shall take the greatest pleasure In doing so.'
And after pause she added. What pity 1t
doesn't stay green all the time '-(Washlngon star.
The losses TO the Gloucester fishing fleet so far
this winter have been extremely heavy. numbering
ten vessels wrecked foundered within eight
weeks. This number has only twice been eqnaled
In the same time. These instances were the great
swamped in a single night. the death roll including
100 men, and the storm of February 90 1872. when
the sea swallowed up fifteen vessels and l21 men.
Had Seen Better Days.-"This parrot. ma am.
said the aler lis that I can recommend. IL
was In the family of clergyman for many years
"Well. gents what'll we have? Name your pizen'"
exclaimed the parrot with startling emphasis
'IIe obliged to part with IL. however" con:
tinued the dealer with an Apologize cough. 'an3
for the last year II has belonged TO the AL
derman from our ward."-tChicago Tribune.