The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-03-07

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versed in the Scriptures. They can
tell all about the divinity Of Christ,
the doctrine of the Trinity, the second
coming of Christ, and the end of the
world. They have been able to aprox-
innate very closely how many thousand
years a day in the creation week rep
resented, and some have been figuring
up how many hundred years old Adam
was On Monday morning of the second
week. I reckon when they find that
out, whom Cain married, who Mel
chizedcck was, and how Samson
caught those three hundred foxes that
he tied torches to and turned loose in
the Philistinc's wheat fields, they will
know it all. 1t is no uncommon thing
to see a man, Frequently q woman)
who can scarcely read or speak his
mother-tongue correctly, standing be-
fore an audience jerking the kinks out
of Pauls letter to the Romans, and,
with an air of blissful ignorance, un-
folding other difficult passages, upon
which the ablest divine would be slow
to offer on Interpretation. have OBJ
served that in many places the pastor
has to take back seat and sing small,
or he will soon be told to his face that
he has neither religion, learning, man
ners, nor sense. They think the Lord
made wonderful mistake in calling
the men he did instead of themselves
in fact, some of them verify believe
they were called, and some ignoramus
heard it and had the cffrontcry to an
swer in their stead. They imagine
they could get up better sermon dur
ing ten minutes walk, than half the
preachers do in whole week in their
study with all their helps. They
think nothing Of criticising severely
the pastors most earnest and prayer
full effort, accepting that which hap
pens. tc suit them and rejecting that
which does not, without ever examin
ing to see whetherit is Scriptural or
un-Scriptural. Though members of
his own Church, and often baptized
by his own hand, they will pour out
their ruthless criticisms upon his de-
fenceless head, as if he were but a
statue Of marble or bronze and had no
feeling or sense of honor. All Of his
defects in life and character are
brought out before the public gaze
and placed under magnifying glass,
in order that they may, if possible,
hide all his deeds of charity and words
of love. Instead of holding up his
hands they try to drag him down.
They seem to forget that he is
brother, and human, and needs all of
their sympathies, assistance and pray
ers.
[ have observed that the people are
not walking in the old paths which
our fathers trod. There is not that
consecrated effort, unity Of purpose,
and burning zeal for the salvation of
souls and the uplifting of the race
that once characterized our Church
members. They don't go to Church
so much to worship, as to see and be
seen, and when they leave the lady
members can tell a great deal more
about what kind of bonnets the Misses
Rosebud had on, how Miss Matilda
Jane Mayaower had her new spring
dress trimmed, or low some young
man had his cravat tied, than they
can about the text or sermon. The
men well, they generally sit and
chew their tobacco and spit until they
get so sleepy they just can't stand it
any longer, and then they go to nod
ding and dream that the preacher is
never going to quit, but if fly hap
pens to light on their nose and wake
them up suddenly they will yawn,
sprawn themselves about, dragging
their heavy boots over the floor max
ing a noise almost equal to a thunder
storm, and opening their mouths wide
enough to take in the whole congrega-
tion, preacher and all, at the same
time pulling out a great big gold
watch that is at least nine-tenths
alloy, swapping it loud enough to be
heard all over the house. Of course,
their staying awake and being inter-
ested depends altogether on the
preacher he must be- live man fresh
from the school of the prophets, don
ned in clerical coat, white neck-tie
and tooth-pick shoes. He must come
from distance, with the reputation
of having been drunkard, liar and
gambler before his conversion. His
courses must be of highly sensa-
tional character he must spin poetry,
spout little Greek or Latin (French
will do just as we'll if the other isn't
at handy, quote great deal Of ancient
history that none of his congregation
ever heard of before, and then wind
up with some touching death-bed
scene or graveyard story. Such a
preacher will always keep his congre-
CATION awake, and, if he never tells
them of any of their faults, and never
breaches over thirty minutes at time
he will soon become very popular, es-
pecially if his politics are alright.
The people are SO fastidious that
sermon has to be very short and spicy
or it is no go. A man who would sit