The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-06-28
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

+ III is mighty good boy who likes
TO Rave his school teacher meet his
pardnts. Boston Transcript.
-''What made you cry out so terribly
in your sleep last night?" Adele-''O,
l had an awful dream! 1 thought 1
went to the theater with a little fiat
bonnet on. Inter Ocean.
REST and change are good for peo-
pie, said the wife as she rose in the
night to rifle her husbands pockets.
1--we had rest, and now [ think I'll
have little change. Buffalo Courier.
-Harduppe-''I have to pay my tailor
tomorrow. If l should be little
short will you assist me?" Golightly-
Certainly, I'll help you to throw the
fellow downstairs. ''-Lustige Blaetter,
Berlin.
.tMadam Newriche: II want a first
class passage to Havre. The agent of
the Standard line: Eyes, ma am -
Madam Newriche: "And | insist upon
having smooth passage, no matter
what the cost
Garry any life insurance. Eyes,
$4,000 in favor of my wife" SHOULD
think you'd be ashamed to look her in
the face" ''Wha-what for?' For
living What excuse do you give her?''
indianapolis Sentinel.
-''Hasn't there been something of a
,olhess1 between you and Reginald?
said the inquisitive girl. 80, yes" was
the reply. I'VE were eating ice cream
together only last night. "-Washington
Star.
Doctor feeling patients pulse)-
$40 you eat well?' Patient-"I do"
Doctor-''Do you sleep well?" Patient
Yes" Doctor-"Well, then. | will
give you something to take away all
that.'-Harvard Lampoon.
He drew her close to his bosom.
some heart" he whispered, lis all
want" She smiled radiantly. Yes
-" Her voice was low and musical.
more would be superfuous. as the
rirculatory system is arranged'-De-
troit Tribune.
-Mother-"You have drawn that
donkey very nicely, Johnny, but you
have forgotten one thing. Where is
his tail?' Johnny-"O, that donkey
doesn't need any tail. There are no
flies on him.'-Once Week,
Il never saw such a fellow as
Bank remarked a man about town.
He is always challenging someone to
play poker Yes. He'goes about. so
to speak, with stack of chips on his
shoulder. Washington Star.
-Cumso-''Say, old man. why don't
you try electricity for your baldness?'.
Caraway-" Electricity? What good
could that possibly do me? Does it
make the hair GROVE" Cumso-''Best
thing you could use-sure to give you a
shock. Harvard Lampoon..
Miss Emerson Glayshiel (of Boston,
What manner of man. do you sup
hearth Mr.. Manhattan (shuddering)-
Something in the line of Arctic eX-
plorer, | should imagine. st. Louis
Post Dispatch.
-Kitty-''Why can't dey stop desc
cars at de forst crossin' stead of de sec
ond?" Jimmy-''Ain't you on? Dey
saves themselves from haulin you crost
de street, see? It's a cold day Wen II
corporation don't git de best of it,
Indianapolis journal.
Crossing the street the other day |
heard the sharp warning bell of a
safety" and looking down the street
saw small boy of about ten years old
riding madly along at full speed, with
several others at his back. Just then
an old gentleman stepped feebly into
the street, not hearing the bell. The
boy dashed recklessly by me and
straight at him, yelling like mad. The
poor old man gave one spasmodic jump
towards the sidewalk, and the boy,
swerving just in time to avoid a col
lision, said, well, you're spryer than l
thought yer!'' and disappeared around
the next corner.-Harvard Advocate.