The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1894-07-26
PITH AND POINT.

-Johnny-"Pa, did you know ma be-
fore you were married?" Pa with a
sigh)-'I thought l did, Johnny
Boston Transcript.
-Fred-"Cheer up! You may win
her yet" Arthur-''No; there's no
chance for me. Why, she even refuses
to go to the theater with me. Truth.
Look at old Mr.. Jones over there
soliloquizing." What! Talking to
himself? l guess not. He is so deaf
he cart hear himself talk. Texas
Siftings.
-She-"How the fashions changer"
He-"There isn't much change in the
pocket-books, except they are worn
shorter and lighter this year Texas
Siftings.
Creditor Ito editor)-"How' col
lections these days?" Editor -"Slow,
sir, slow! I've got good shotgun, but
can't get anybody to credit me for
shot. "-Atlanta Constitution.
Mrs. Norris-"Since 1 have been
married have had only one wish I'M
gratifed." Mr.. Norris-"And what is
that, my dear?" Mrs. Norris-"That
were single again. "-Tit-Bits
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben,
Ger man fattahs hisse'f dat he's feel
ing sympathy wifi de unfortunate,
when he's jis drorin' comparisons, an
congratulatin' hisse'f" - Washington
Star.
81 wouldn't want to be in your
I'll.
girl to the poor Philadelphia girl. sob,
that would be impossible, replied the
Quaker miss surveying her dainty
foot.-Philadelphia Record.
The Other Way. - Artist - 'By
Jove, l don't like it; they've sllied my
picture" Consoling Friend-"That's
all right, my boy. If you are as bad
as that picture is you'll never be
skied. detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Nexdoor-'I have found out
one thing about Mrs. Newcome. Who
ever she is, she has never moved in
good society" Mr. Nexdoor-"How
do you know that" Mrs. NeXdoor-
"She shakes hands as if she meanti it."
-Tit-Bits.
-"Miss Flimsyfuff is very gloomy"
said one member of the opera company
to another. "Why?" "You see, she's
really fond of her husband and hates
to be divorced from him. But she feels
that her art demands it. "-Washington
Star.
Husband (vituperatively)-"I was
fool when l married you, Mary!"
Wife (quietly)-"Yes, Tom, know
you were! But what could do? You
seemed my only chance, and 1 thought
then that you might improve little
with time!"-Grip.
Weary Watkins-''I think, if I had
my life to live over again, I'd go into
the astronomer business" Hungry
Higgins-"Wot sort of thing is that?"
Weary Watl1ins-"W'y, iist watchin'
the stars. Teller could tend to that
sort of job layin' on his back. Indian
apolis Journal.
-"Why, how are you, old man?"
cried Barlow, genially, as he met Fos-
ter at the club. 'Hear your engage
ment is announced; let me congratu-
luIC ,SOi' IllduhSs lCJuIHGO II OSIeT,
in bashful manner, as he looked
doubtfully at Barlow. That's the
thing" rejoined Barlow, heartily. You
know what the poet says-Into each
life some ra-', l mean, love must fall.
I've had mine" "So?" queried Foster,
in tone of sympathy. Yes, " Barlow
gazing at the ceiling zone
summer l decided to marry the fairest
girl on earth. An Undine-a Brunhilde
-a-a-a daisy, in fact The admired
of all men--the envied OF all girls. OF
good family-wealthy in her own right
and perfect in every way. AS have
said, l determined to marry her, but
Fate INTERVIEWED" "Poor chap" sighed
Foster. "Why was it?" Foster" re-
turned Barlow, slowly, gazing earnest
ly at his friend, 81 couldn't find the
girl. "-IIarper's Bazaar.