Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-12-02
AMERICANS ABROAD.
The Ridiculous Figure Our Tourists Cut
in Foreign Countries.
UNDER THE MUSEUM DOME.
Something Conducive 20 Literature In the
Atmospbere-Tbe Strange People 10 be
Seen There--An Adopted Mother.
(correspondence OF the Dlspatch.)

| most amusing spectacles over here Is the
| American tourist-more so perhaps, 10 one
| who has been a tourist and got over
It than 10 any one else. The trouble Is
| that we are judged as a nation by the
| acts OF our tourists, and tourist Is no
more a representative citizen OF the
| United States than a New York organ
grinder is OF the Italian nobility. When
we are touring II we have shut out or
| us all that Is natural, spontaneous or
| truly American. We dress ourselves In
! patched garb of what we have been tod
| is best over here. and we strut about
| in It and look down on the natives be-
| cause they don't enter into our holiday
| enthusiasm.
| have often wondered why the keepers
| OF pensions and boarding-hous do not
| go mad. These people whose occupation
| IL is 10 cater 10 the wants OF tourists.
| and who, as n rule. never visit art GAL
| Ieries, ruins, or cathsdrals. have to lis
| ten 10 nothing else from morning to night
| nut learned remarks about certain pic
| lures that Ruskin liked. somebody's cary
| ing they never heard of. and the washed
| out frescoes Of this or that church. If
| had anything to do with distributing
| crowns in the next world ] should give
| the brightest diadems to these humble,
| patient martyrs.
| have In mind now n sanity landlady
| who has confessed to horrOr-stricken
| tourists a thousand times that she has
never been in the Tower Of London
| nor ever looked up any of the haunts OF
| Thackeray in the square she lives In.
| She always does 1t serenely in the face
| Of the most scathing American contempt,
| and has never yet retaliated by asking
| a tourist why he has never visited
| Niagara. d spot that she has dreamt Of
| all her life. II il her mission to bear
| this sort Of thing. and her fat, red face
| IS gradually growing spiritual and beaut!-
fully resigned.
HOW THEY LOOK.
| a male tourist gets careless about his
| dress. makes one suit do for all occa-
| sions, and grows even an ugly beard
| rather than shave. The female tourist
actually droops from the crown OF her
head to her heels She wears thick shoes
and looks as II she had been i'll. There
| are no curves In her outline. She is al
| ways In gray, and looks Ike an elon-
| gated pyramid. The corners of her
| mouth always drOOp. She never smiles,
| and she talks about what she has seen
| and where she is going Us II she had
| lost hope. Many young ladies' come
| over here engaged to young men in
| America, for a p!eaFant little trip before
settling down, but they 50 back to their
| lovers old women before their time.
| Touring 1t on the Continent makes
| Americans stingy. too. They have set
aside 50 much money for the "trip and
| they determine to stay as long and see
as much as they can on 1t. Then they
| hear so much ridicu.e about the eXtraya-
! gancc Of Americans that they set out TO
| correct IL as far as they are concerned.
| They have, for in tance. lnherited- incli-
| nations toward substantial breakfasts,
| but in France and Switzerland, where the
| aLves serve only coffee and bread and
| butter for the morning meals and where
| an extra charge Is made for anything
else, they sit and growl about not having
| enough 70 eat. Sometimes they bring to
the table cans Of potted meats. pickles.
| etc They learn 20 be dgCeitful. too, for
| they try 10 sneak these things in without
| attracting the attention OF other boarders.
l remember sitting at the table two
weeks in Paris by pOrtly dame from
| Chicago, who always brought in Il lar of
| Jam at breakfast. and made our mouths
! water as she spread IL bounteousiy on her
| bread. she was very wealthy and was
| engaged in charitable enterprises in all
| parts of the world. but she never offered
Us any Of her jam.
\ JAR OF JAM.
| One day, however some fresh Ameri-
| cans arrived. They had come straight
| through from New York. One Of them
was mild little lady from Ohio, and It
! was plain that a continental breakfast
after travelling all night was not only n
| new but an Objectionable thing to her
she looked disparagngly at the plate of
| rolls and the little dab Of butter before
her, and thon her eyes went foraging
| around the table, till they rested on the
| only jar Of Jam in view. She hestated n
| moment and seemed about to speak TO
| the waitress, but evidently did not know
| the French word for jam. Her eyes went
| back 10 the Jam after she had bitten into
| i hard roll. Then she caught my eyes,
and said, appealngly. in plain English:
"Wlll You please pass the jam?"
| 1t is said that in the instant before n
| mans death his whole life flashes before
| him. l don't know how true it IS, but
| there must be some scientific basis for the
| statement, for in n second | had thought
| OF dozen things TO say, had carefully
| weighed and considered them. and dis
| carded them. Among the things that oc-
| CURED to me were:
| 1T is not my jam"
| Everybody furnishes his own JAM"
| "The jam belongs to the lady who is
| partaking Of it."
| Il have only a speaking acquaintance
| with her, and have never asked for the
| jam myself"
| But | said none of them. All present
| had heard the request OF the mild lady,
! and were trying to look as If they hadn't.
| The fam-eater glanced at me. as IL by
| accident, and threw all the responsibility
| Oh her.
| "Win you be kind enough to pass the
| jam%' | asked.
She hesitated. looked at the Jam as q
mother might at her slowly-dying child.
| She did not pass II at once. as she would
| have done under her own roof. She
touched her sticky knife to the jar, and
| the knife tinkle1 like a bell.
1T was a present." she explained. ut
| is very rare, and was sent 10 mo from
| Palestine"
| The silence was broken only by man 9
| stirring his cafe au lait at the far end
| of the table. thought Chicago was gong
| to disgrace US. but the jam-eater smiled
| benevolently as she slowly casped the
| Jar in her red fingers.
| II would be glad If you would try Il"
! she said. and she slid ii straight across
| the table. The little woman thanked her
| with bushes. but no pharmacist ever
| handled poisonous drug more daintily
| than she did the Jam. The lit,le drop she
| put on her plate looked like an of-color
| diamond. \ hungry honey-bee would have
| passed it unnoticed.
A GREAT RESORT.
This letter is written from the great
| reading-room of the British Museum. My
! friend Palfrey and i go there every day
| 10 read and write There is no other such
| institution in the world. Here ono meets
n strange mass Of intellectual human be-
| ings. They come from all parts OF the
| earth TO "use" the museum. The reading
| room Is exactly under the great Widowed
| dome. 1t IS circular In form and $50 feet
| In diameter. 1t is arranged Ike vast
wheel, the central desks Of the officials
being the hub and the long desks of the
readers being the spokes. Writer'S OF note
| have done their work here for years. and
| many of them claim that there Is some
| thing specially conducive TO intellectual
| pursuits In the atmosphere Of the room.
| | usually get the same seat every morn
| ing, and when | am tired OF work study
| my elbow neighbors. They change every
| day. Sometimes IL is n long-haired man
| with a poetic face, who IL dressed shah
billy. and stares for hours at few lines