Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-03-11

U8uiucouc9 Wueu pittcU a8o4Sf7s s"S s~s~
snore OF the king.
TIE two old Howftzers go somewhat on
tho order OF frogs on summer night
First one hears tho royal. r:dulafing
baritone, and then. far in the distance
answers the judicial snore. while OCCASION
ally, like an echo on q ''stilly night, MT.
Bob Bosher injects y sweet treble note.
several years ago, when the Howitzers
went on their memorable trip to New
Orleans, Mr. Gray accompanied the party:
as did also Captain John Cussens ana
"Baby" George Mountcasue the Tour
hundred pound veteran. Captain Cussens
and Mr.. Mountcastle were quartered IN
cosy little house on Carondeiet street.
while Mr.. Gray stopped at hotel about
a mile away. On the first nights sojourn
IN the Crescent City the roonl-mates OF
CAPTAIN Cussens and Mr.. Mountcas'is
were kept awake by repeated saivos Oh
Titanic snores, and naturally. 81 Mount
castle was a four-hundred pounder, tne
thunderbolts were attributed 10 him. he
proved a substantial alibi. however, ana
so the censure fell on Captain Cusse1s'
who vigorously protested his innocence.
The Captain suggested the presence OF an
elephant somewhere In the nsignoorhooo
"a the only possible theory for the noise.
credited and tho newspapers devoted con-
siderable space to his accomplishments.
But Il finally turned out that the cham-
pion, heavyweight, James Il. Ccrpe't
snoring had been done by Mr.. Gray. ana
that Il was only the echo which reacfed
The would-be sleepers on Carondeiet
street.
I would rather undertake to read
thousand lines OF Tacitus than one page
of shorthand notes. for you can never
count on yourself 10 be absolutely correct
In decipherlng the miserable little hem
scratches that. YOU put down in your
pad. The very moment you feel the most
confident that you are. getting along t'au-
tlfully. you put an asinine Interpretation
on some OF the curly-q's, and ruin the
whole page you have written The best
of stenographers sometimes are caught
napping and frequently their transcript
tions are marvellous in their ridiculous
ness The slightest stroke OF the pencil,
or the least possible shading frequently
changes the meaning OF word entirely
and without the context for guide you
are lost completely. Photography prac-
tically does away with vowels. For IN
stance KIT win stand for cat Kate, coat,
kite. caught, and Heaven only knows
/ was wrestling with some very rocky
notes when I suddenly came across the
expression, "a red-headed Prohlbtionist.'
/ wondered why tra speaker had charac-
terlzed the teetotaler In such
peculiar manner, and STUDIED
and studied over the words.
Finally l discovered that the orator had
used the expression, "a red-hot Prohibi-
ZIONIST" and by q stroke scarcely the
thousandth part of an inch long L had
unconsciously given the temperance man
sorrel-top that was sufficiently glowing
to ignite a cigar, or cause spontaneous
combustion.
This mistake was due. I must admit,
TO my own stupidity, but here Is an in
stance where notes. though written cor
rectly. were equally as deceptive. Several
weeks ago Congressman Champ Clark, Of
Missouri made a very witty and able ad-
dress before a number OF his colleagues,
and his remarks greatly impressed his
hearers. A few days afterwards n friend
and admirer of the western politician mad
occasion to make speech in the House,
and In the course of his Grafton he face
tiously remarked that Marc Antony was
the Champ Clark OF ancient Rome. The
| reporter In transcribing his notes made
the lines read: "Afarc Antony was the
| chump clerk of Rome" Now, however
much Marc might have been subsequently
"fim- -hammed" by Cleopatra, he certainly
| wasn't chump, and 80 the error was a
most ludicrous one. Every shorthand
man will understand how the mistake
occurred. In writing Champ Clark the re-
porter. OF course. put II down Chimp Xix,
and not foreseeing at the time that any
d,snculties might occur. he forgot to put
4 In "a single vowel 20 guide him. As con-
/ sequence, when he read his manuscript
he saw the sign Chimp. and naturally
concluded that this signifed "chump,'
whereas he was doubly assured when he
saw XIX. which he interpreted to mean
clerk. Any stenographcr is liable TO fall
! into just such a mistake. but / must say
that that young man ought to polish him.
self up on ancient history.
| THE IDLE REPORTER.