Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1894-03-14
Mark T.caim's Good Adrice.

tion of the new town hall, which cost
s5O0,000-the gift of wealthy resident.
mark Twain" was one of the speakers of
the occasion. He said
By thoughtful and judiciOus allot-
ment OF the privileges of this occasion,
each speaker has been appointed to the
function best suited to bis capacity, his
character and his credit in the communi-
ty. Chief of all the speakers, and the
most eloquent, stands the building itself.
1t is its easy Office to declare 10 you the
love of its builder for the town which was
her birthplace and the home of her girl
hood. 1t may be trusted to say we'll and
be understood, be applauded from the
hearts, and to occupy the platform long
er than anybody else, and make the only
speech that will be printed in the papers.
Yes, it is the only speaker OF us all, gilt
ed and popular as we try to let on to be,
that can dare to stand up here and under.
take to hold your unfatigued attention for
hundred years. Why, you couldn't do
il for forty.
We ali recognize the value of this
building as an example and suggestion
"a suggestion to any who are moved by
love for their fellow men to make gifts to
them of hospitals or town halls or libra
ries, to build these things while they are
alive, not wait till they are dead. If you
do it while you are alive, it is really done
and well done, but if you wait till you
are dead, there is but barren result and
a divided profit you get credit for the
intention and the lawyers get the money
The stomachs of the lawyers Of this land
are distended to utter discomfort with the
eleemosynary architecture which they
have swallowed. In this world there is
no Joy like the joy a lawyer feels when
he sees good hearted, inconsiderate per-
son erecting free library, or town ball,
or hospital in his will. He smiles the
smile that only he knows how to smile,
and goes into training for the anaconda
act
Perhaps no one has ever known a dead
man to try to do even the least little sim
pie thing without making botch of it,.
The truth is, dead man ought TO lie still
and keep quiet and try to behave. But
you can't teach him hat; you can't teach
him any useful thing. Everything about
him is perishable but one thing, and that
is his inability to accept the fact that cir
cumstances over which he has no control
have limited his activities. And, first and
last, and all the time, it is impossible to
make him understand that there is moth
ing very large or fine or generous in spend
ing his own money on himself and build
ing hospitals with his children's cash.
Why, some people do seem to get duller
and duller the deader they get. Oh, well,
perhaps it is no matter; It is the way they
are made. Probably the mistake was in
making them at all. | mean, if it was a
mistake. | am no Judge of lhat-but l
wouldn't leave it to them.
1t was pleasant and patriotic thought
to dedicate this building and confirm this
grace to Fairhaven on The natal day OF
Washington-Ge,rge Washington, first
of Americans-George Washington, the
father of his couniry-George Washing
ton, the father of those who cannot lie
The family has dwindled good deal.
But am left yet and when | look back
over the waste of years and call up the
faces of the others and know | shall see
them no more in this life, and that must
remain now solitary and forlornly con.
spicuous to the last, the sole remainder OF
that old, noble stock, it makes me feel
sad, and oh, so lonesome.
What owe to Washington no words
of mine can tell. He was my model from
my cradle. All that | am-morally
speaking-I owe to his example. Even
in my tenderest youth his spirit was ever
near TO guide and succor me. The first
time ever stole watermelon in my life
i think it was the first time-iI was the
thought of Washington that moved Inc
to make restitution, restored me to the
path of reciiiude, made me morally whole
again. When | found it was green
watermelon was sorry, not specifically,
but deeply and honestly sorry. Then
came the thought of Washington, and |
said to myself, what would Washing on
do 2" That is what | said to myself
"What would George Washington do if
he had stolen watermelon "a green
one. He would make resiitution-that
is what he would do" And that is what
| did.
rose up spiritually refreshed and