The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1894-06-20
! STREET PICKlNGS. }
AAANNNNNNNNN~N,NNN~

There had been a fanny row the night
before among the colored inhabitants of
Pizen-alley. The police had swooped down
upon the scene with a swoop that could
not be unswooped and had gathered into
the fold the two belligerents.
Rube Johnson and his blacker half stood
before the bar Of the stern police magis-
trate. Rube was looking somewhat at
half-mast with a piece of liver pasted to
sling constructed by tying the legs of
pair Of his old trousers together Mandy
had been game and vas compelled to hold
back a dangling piece of her upper lip
while she spit One eye also showed signs
Of gouging. But they were both sorry.
"Omcer," said the judge severely, ''of
what are these defendants Charged"
"Oi found thin iightin yer honor. The
naSur there had his wolfe down and waz
thryin' to pry her taath out Of his arum.
Thay waz awful dhrunk. yer honor.
How did this happen?" asked the court,
looking gravely over his glasses.
RUDE looked at Mandy out OF mis- unfur-
nished eye. and Mandy glanced sheepishly
az her lord and master. Rube spoke.
II admit, ledge, dat dar wuz a fracas.
Da's no use denyin' dat. sab. We wuz out
drivin' in the mule kyart, Jedge. in de
ebenin' and OATS wha' the fracas started.
Mandy she want to do de drivin' l say:
No, Mandy, you doan' un' erstan' dis va
mule. So Mandy she gets mad and KEEP
sassin' me all the way home I see dat
she lookin' foah trouble. so while / wuz
putin the mule away I took couple swal-
lers O. boss lniment TO jist kinder keep up
my courage, jedge"
Wall. jedge. soon as I KEN into de
house. l see Mandy ready 70 de fracas.
She nebber say a word, iedge. but jist take
off her hat and lay il down. Da' was no
protestashuns on my part jedge. 1 didn't
try to tell dat coon dat l Tub her. What
occurred occu'ed in the mos natral way.
1 waz man OBJ passion, jedge Mandy she
wuz a woman oh passion. We waz bof
lookin' 70 trouble. 1 grabbed her aroun
de waist widout a word bein' said, an We
went at IT, jedge.
Use sorry, jedge. l hasn't tried TO shield
myself But Mandy needs a lckin about
onct cherry month, jedge. an we has ter
hab leete sparrin match"
You are discharged. sir. upon one con-
dition," said the judge as he restrained a
smile; "and that is that Jou don't run for
congress"
And RUDE promised.
II
4 have received reports from all parts
of the district" remarked MIR. Brecken-
ridge TO a party of frifnds. and I feel
sure Of my reelection. I might safely say
that 1 know 1 shall be Relected; that is. I
know it TO a moral cettainty" And the
| patriarchal seer stroked ibis mask of white
whislters.
Il can't agree Wild your statement,
colonel" replied one of The party.
What, aah," shouttg the venerable
Willie, 40 you mean say. sab. that I
| don't know what / am talking about. sah?''
"Oh. your informatiIn may be correct
| colonel was the repyi but l take excep-
ton to your statementit that you know you
| will be elscted-to MORAL certainty"
The colonel looked surprised.
Il am taking a technical exception to
your language. You say you know to a
moral certainty Now, the word moral as
used in that connection means according
20 Webster of sort to serve as a basis
| of action Now. colonel. do you mean 10
| convey the impression that you are using
| the word moral as a basis of action?''
And Willie looked greved as his philo-
| sophical friend arose and left the room
|
| Look at nine women out Of ten and one
| will see that the business dress for work
| ing women has solved itself. 1t, consists
| Of shirt waist dark skirt and sailor hat
| The costume is cool and comfortable and
| saves heavy laundry bills. 1t has been in
vogue for three summers now and is more
| popular than ever. No- is il the costume
/
| shops and the clerk who waits on her wear
exactly the same costume Verify it is a
| great leveler.
One by one funny stories are leaking out
| about the contest for school commissioner
| among the ladies'. At the eleventh dis
| trict polls man came up and said:
| Where's that air woman candidate?"
| He was told that she did not care to ap-
! pear at the polls
| We'll" he said. IF she's too good TO be
at the polls she's too nice to sit on that
| air board"
And he voted for one Of the men, while
| the ladies in charge went after their can
\ didate.
Now Is the time the man who does not
| get to ride on the electric cars very often
is the bane Of the regular passengers, foI
| ne plants himself in the end OF the seat
and everyone else must climb over him
| Between the man who sits like a log and
let's four others climb over him and the
woman who commits the crime of forget
ting to thank a for Offering her his
seat. we choose the latter as being the
lesser nuisance.