The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1894-04-27
SWIPES.

reads on the b0OkS-and he's Messenger
IA II you want ter call him. I'm No. 12.
but yer amt heard about Swipes' lat
estf Well it's a mighty good one on him,
and we fellers was most tickled TO death.
1--WE was awful busy that day, and there
want no one in the Office but Swipes and
young Nelson when "a woman came in
with a kid and said she wanted 1t taken
over to the west side and told the number.
Nelson wanted her ter write it, but she
said she couldn't, cause she had her gloves
on, so he wrote the address, and Swipes
took the kid and started off.
'When he got ter the house, man come
ter the door, and Swipes said, Here's the
kid
"The man looked awfully 'stonished
and asked, what kidi'
"'Why, the kid the lady sent said
Swipes.
"'Well, it don't belong here anyway
said the man. There aren't any children
here, and there haven't been fur yearsp
and he tried to shut the door
"Then the kid began to yawl, and Swipes
picked it up and marched back ter the Of
flce A gang of us spicd him fore he got
there, and we did give it ter him.
"He dropped the kid inter a chair and
v
child and didn't seem ter know nothin
about it.
"'Take it back to the woman, then
said he, looking cross.
"sDon't know where she lives answer
ed Swipes She had q black veil on, SO /
didn't see her face, and she did not give
any name-and here's the kid, and what
shall do with it?'
&C tTa 10 anna NJ IL somehow omit ha
bothered, and he began ter write, leavin
Swipes with the baby on his hands.
"Well, we tended her all that day, and
kept a-hopin the woman would come ter
take her back when she found it want
where she sent it, but she didn't come.
"Swipes was a-goin ter give it baked
beans for dinner but the woman at the
bakery said babies had ter have warm
milk, SO Swipes bought quart, and we
boiled it in pan over the fire. Then we
had ter get spoon ter feed it with.
Med held the pan while Swipes did the
feedin, and MORN half o. that milk got
spilled. He got it all over the kids dress,
and once, when he want a-noticin, the
kid gave jump, and hit the pan and spill
ed the milk all down Swipes' leg and onto
the floor.
"When night came, the boss said we'd
better take the baby ter some 'sylum, but
we kinder greed between ourselves we'd
better keep it another day fore packin it
off, so Swipes toted it home with q news
paper around it as folks wouldn't guess
what he'd got.
Him and me bunk together, and we
didn't exactly know what we was a-goin
ter do with that baby, cause if we put 1t
In the bed 'twould roll out and get hurt,
and there wa mt nothin at all that would
do for a cradle such as Swipes said she
ought ter have.
$50 Swipes he went down stairs and
borrowed great big washboiler Of Mrs.
Murphy, but he didn't tell her what he
wanted 1t for, cause he didn't want ter
git laughed at too much.
"Well sir we damned piller inter the
bottom of that boiler, and then we laid the
kid in, and she was snug as could be. And
we covered her up with couple o towels
and piller case. The towels was pretty
dirty, but the baby was dirty, too, SO it
didn't matter much.
"Then we took rope and strung it
through the handles and nailed the ends
into the walls, 80 the boiler swung fine as
could be, and we took turns hittin it till
the kid dropped off ter sleep.
1--WE slept good, but woke up by the
kids yellin. We gave it some more milk,
and then Swipes said he guessed we'd bet
ter wash its face. Didn't neither of us
want ter, SO we tossed coppers, and he had
ter.
"Swipes took his handkerchief and kind
er made dab at the kids face, but the
dirt stuck on, so finally he just had ter
scrub OF course the kid yelled and Swipes
made me knock over chairs SO the folks
wouldn't hear. Then its face wasn't O. IN
either, for there was streaks all over It,
"Then we had ter go ter the Office
we lugged the kid there anu made tho
other fellers tend it while Swipes went on
an errand.
bum by he come rushin In and whis-
pered ter me ter come on, and then he took
the kid, and we went off. He wouldn't
say nothin about what he was a-goin ter
do with it, but pretty soon he turned into
house.
"There was piece of Grape tied tor the
doorlknob, and as we stood there an under
taker drove up.
"Pretty soon a pale lady came, all
dressed in black, and Swipes he didn't say
hothin, but just put the baby in her arms.
"Then the woman began ter cry, and
abe Rugged the baby and kissed II, and
Swipes whispered ter me how her own
baby had died the day before.
''Then Swipes told the lady how the kid
had been left at tho Office, and the woman
hadn't come for it or anything, and he
gpessedshe must be dead, cause one WON
an did get killed by the cars that day.
"Did they se2d the baby backf Well,
no. They think heaps of it, and Swipes
and me goes ter see 1t sometimes, and
guess it knows us.
"'Twas funny business all round, but
do you know / think twas awful smart
Of Swipes the way he got rid of the kid.
"Swipes thinks so too. Harriet Car
lyle Cox in Boston Globe.
Mixed Up the Two Websters.