New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-04-01
THE TALK or THE DAY.

THE TALK or THE DAY
II "a said that Rudyard Kip,.ng recently SUI
prised Chinaman by talking 10 MIN IN Chiheee.
But that Is nothing The Chinese OF almost any
intelligent citizen Of this town Wou'd s1'pr'Se '''
most ph,egmatic Chinaman
Adapting Themselves to Circumstaneess.- r,bsn
Boy-I STAYED in the parOr all last evening WIZ, ,
Mr.. Squeezem was calm on sister, just do ''N
NJ Mother-rhat's good boy and here is the candy
I prGi'i Boygyoh no. We played blind mans buff
and it would have been lots OF tun Shy VIZ ~.
nearly all the tme-(street & Smhns "oou news
An Englishman in Illinois has come to the con-
cuslon that this is pretty poor country ne mas
had inserted in Chicago paper the following
notice:
ID ERSONAL.-I hereby renew my a1esaTnES9E N 70
SOR DORMAN, Danville, H.
Not to BE Dsconcerted.-"Yes madam, said the
cement seller holding plate whose Ilas ,bas
s schdmS nr rafy"; and A This pate for
instance. | now suspend by WIRE he,d q dryn IN
crease the weight to thirty pounds ana and ,,ro,
A sne ' geu win observe madam that the plate
breaks with ease thus giyins an opportunity 10 10
cement the edges more evenly whenever II 10 oe-
sirabie to do so."-(Chicago Record
story Is told of a Mississippi colored youth who
walked $50 miles from Vcksburg to Atlanta to at
tend school This boys name is p. p Lee and the
story he told OF his great ambition salhed MN
MANY friends along the road. and thus ne had h''e
difficulty in obtaining food and lodging whenever
II was possible he would repay his iriends LOT tnen
kindness by doing odd Jobs for them
Puzzled Him.-"What are you studying 50 D nard
about?" asked the wife Of the rock-FDped De'ho-
crat 49, -, =. ecoor ou, in nv own mind
~ was list n t. SsT[ 0s is the joiner er the
whale indianapolis Journal.
Kentucky woman recently brought suit against
a railroad for killing her horse and her husband
She got $50 for the horse and cent TOR the nus
band
Are the rooms in your house desirable I snd .,d
Landady-Yes indeed; they are all smaH ana
aRop YOU consider those advantages?"
Landady-Listen. There is not room in the
house large enough for piano -...n ,c.,,,,~.
lnter-Ocean
THE Knoxville Journal" says that sam Smalrs
Journalistic venture in Guthrie Okla. has not been
successful The church people went back on him
for publishing Il Sunday paper. the democratic
bosses are reaching for his scalp because they are
afraid he wants to 60 to the United States Senate.
and upon going off into Texas on preaching tour
h,s associate editors got into big fight among
themselves so that policeman Is stationed In
the Office to keep the peace.
Nrs Wordliwise-See that little girl in the front
ward with such beautiful auburn tresses. wonder
r she is Mrs Munnbaggss daughter?
Domestic-No. mem; that's OF Joiner's grlA
him that mended your kitchen steps.
Mrs about ma" the premises? Go out and drive her
away Jane.-(Boston Transcript
A Philadelphia physician thinks that a great deal
of nonsense has been written about hypnotisn.
ANY one" he says. may hypnotic himself in
few minutes by closing his eyes. directing them in
ward and downward. and then. imagining his breath
to be vapoR watching its inhalation and expulsion
from the nostris. Babies invariably look cross
eyed before going to sleep in this way producing
what hypnotsts call 'transixion.' Fishermen often
hypnotic themselves watching a cork on a sur
face OF shining water. An hour passes by as II 1t
were few minutes
At the Railway station.-Traveller-A ticket to
Booking Clerk-very sorry. there is no train; the
traveller What? Then let me have a haf-penny
post card. so that may inform my wife.-(Flie-
gende Batter.
Nebraska man Rugged his girl so hard that he
broke of her ribs When she got well he for
got to hug her. and that broke her heart.
"Do you know that young Molard has run OF
with 10000 francs OF his employers money!
besides ne has taken your umbrella"
'Ah the viain''-u-a Courier de Flers
An agricultural writer figures that the loss to the
farmers of the country by the use OF narrow
wagon tires. through the wear and tear OF horse
flesh and the loss OF time. amounts to the enor.
nous sum OF $500 900 900 a year.
Judge-Witness. you not the same Shulze who
four years ago robbed Silvermann, the banker OF
1000 marks?
Witness-No. l am sorry TO say.-Q.ustige Batter.
Some loyal Harvard men just a bit disturbed
because the tickets FOR the Latin play are printed
blue cards. But though their color present Is
that of Yale, 1t will be all right when they read
There Is story around that your Spring Tonic
has been analysed and found to contain 10 per
alcohol Aren't you afraid 1t will spoil the sale OF
it?'
NOT at all This is a no-icense town. my boy"
-(Boston Transcript.
II is said that among other things nipped by the
recent frost In Georgia the Adlai boom IL will
be to nearly everybody except Adlai himself
that he had a boom.
At a recent banquet given by French vegetarlans
In Paris attended by several distinguished persons
vegetarian cider served. The account does
dephia Ledger.
| Emperor Francis Joseph OF Austria and the Car
| OF Russia have embraced each other; but the act
doesn't suggest to them the ACCESSIBILITY OF dlsband-
Ing their armies
He Had Her-Mrs Enpeck (sharpy)-What's
this Item OF % cents for cigars In your expense ac-
count? w
| Mr.. Enpeck (neekly)-They're the cigars bought
| Tor Hatters, the milliner when trying to get
Record