The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-10-12
ONE or a RAcnELoR.s WOES
How He seyvs ON the Buttun which
Always Comes On Im0pnnrrmmely.

r. II %### %&N #MHS&M##WH &
How He seyvs ON the Rutton which
Always Comes On En0pDortunely.
The button generally comes or when
he is In a hurry. That Ii all the com
mon sense there is In buttons, says the
Home Queen, And IT flies on into IN
known cracks and corners OF the room,
and lodges under the, bedstead or the
bureau, and the man who has lost 1t
peeps and looks and feels around in
dark places with his hand. ana fishes
up carpet tacks stuck to his fingers,
and comatose spiders, and lethargic
wasps, and cobwebs, and cigar stubs,
and everything else except the lost
button. Then he gets down on his
knees and peeps under the bedstead,
and barks the skin on his legs against
the carvings on the bureau, scrapes his
shins ON the rocker of q chair, and
gets up with strong language on his
lips and flies it the clothes brush and
dusts of his pantaloons, and knocks
over the cologne bottles, and spills 81
worth Of fragrance on the landlady's
rs cents a yard boarding house carpet,
and wishes the man who Invented but
tons had been hanged long before he
thought of inventing anything. And
he holds up his garments with one hand
and hunts around for another button.
He looks In all the drawers, under the
bedstead, and I'm all the vases, and in
all his pockets, and In all the boxes,
and In various other placas-for he
knows by experience that he is just
as liable to find a button in one place
as In the other, if he finds 1t at all.
He has q place for everything and
everything is in it's place-the only
trouble there Is about 1t is to find the
place.
At last he sees a button In d box of
letters and ''billet-doux," and locks of
ancient sweethearts' hair, and he SEXES
on 1t and grabs q rusty needle and
threads the point of 1t until he is tired
and succeeds In getting the thread in
the split condition. He pulls and pulls
and cannot get 1t any farther and con-
POUNDS the party that sold him the nee
die, and vows he will carry the thread
back and tell them 1t won't dit any
needle he has got. Then he pulls IL
out and scrapes 1t down with his knife
and tries again, and this time Is sue
.cessful. Then he places the button
with mathematical. exactness right
where 1t was before, and begins to jab.
But he hasn't pulled out the old stitches
and nobody can sew on a button
through a half spool OF button cord"
left In the cloth. He discovers this,
digs 1t out and plunges the needle
viciously into the cloth and gets half
an inch of it in his hand, and drops the
button, and the garment, and slaps his
hand on his leg and wishes the whole
concern elsewhere. Then he hunts up
the camphor bottle and delHges him.
self and then begins the job owe again.
The thread knots at the first stitch
it always does-and he tugs and pulls
and gives a 'tyank'' and it breaks, and
the button flies off at a tangent and the
man loses patience and the spool Of
thread at the same time; and when
he pulls himself together and says he
win not be conquered py a trousers
button. He will never bend his mighty
intellect to such q little thing as sewing
on a button and fail. And he gets the
button and the thread and he starts
Oh dIEesu, anu nS uOSS tHS| JOu1 AMI
there are knots all around that button,
and it looks as If it had been wrecked
on a lee shore Of ends Of linen thread,
and it Is half an inch below where 1t
ought to be, and the man puts the
thread away In the comb - and
sticks the needle into the window cur
tain and closes the drawer with a
kick, and tells his male friends that
for sewing on buttons and seeing to
things he al beat the world of women.
And SO he can.