The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-07-09
JAEaAR FOOLED THE WORMS.
He Died, Was Cremated and His
Ashes Were Scattered to the Winds.


Ashes Were Scattered to the Winds.
From the New York World.
The grave Is a most unpleasant thing to
contemplate. Your friends put you there
and then go OF to enjoy themselves. They
drive home TO dinner in their expensive
hacks, and you are all, alone with the
heavy earth and horrible undertaken
tinery weighing on your chest. No sound
real hes your dead ears. The best COM
pany you can hope for is some burrowing
rdJ. The world is far away. Everything
is black. 1he worms attack you. \ our
hair and nails continue to grow. Your
conn falls gradually TO pieces. The lace
around your CONN pillow turns yellow and
the satin of your uorrid underground
home is stained. The shape which you
pri1ed vanishes. The LOCKS which YOU
combed and washed grow out into the
damp earth. Like a dead cat you are
hidden from sight.
MIR. Philip Jaeger, salooukeeper, at the
corner OF Thirteenth street and Avenue
A. decided that he would not stand all
that. He loved the sea, and elo1 ed to
catch fish. He loved the mem pers of the
sea Robbers Club, with whom he went
fishing. His will read like this, subsUan-
TALLY: 81 leave IS to my friend, Capt
Daniel Cell. i order my body to be burnt
to ashes. request my fried, Capt Cell,
to assemble the Sea ROBBERS Club, to
my ashes out to Romer Shoals
where we used to fish, and there
to scatter the said ashes TO the four winds
of heaven and 10 the waters of the sea.
fifty dollars is too much to pay for a
mere tug, so let the remainder be put into
beer and let the same beer be used to
moisten the memory of my ashes
L. IL -
brain of MIR. Philip Jaeger as he read
over his well written will. Sometimes
he said to himself: ii We used a good
many worms Tor fishing, and / suppose
they've always said TO themselves that
they would get even with my CORPSE but
I've disappointed them"
And sometimes he said: "Seven-eighths
of my poor body is water, in spite of my
line of business. Scientists prove that 10
me. Those seven-eighths will go up into
the air in beautiful vapor, and when con-
densation comes to them they wi moisJen
some beautiful rose bed. That's romantic,
and it beats Greenwood"
And sometimes he said: Friendship
is intimate association. There will be
some nourishment left in my ashes. The
fish at our Lshlng grounds will eat my
ashes, especially as they need great
deal of phosphorus, and mydear friends,
those fish. Though l shall be dead, yet
/ shall live, for little specks of me will
wander about in the person of every sea
Pobber. NO cold grave for me, but a
floating existence among the clouds for
my seVen-eighths of vapor, and 3 hew
life in the systems of The sea rob. ers
for that fraction of me whlch fire cannot
destroy.
Philip Jaeger's last hours were happy
He died last November. He died on The
thirteenth day of that month, fact
which will probably make The disap-
pointed worms Supefs titious. Lawyer
Albert Goettmann of No. 50 Park how
had made his will so tight and so fast
that IL had to be oJeyed.
Slowly and sadly Capt. Daniel Cell of
No. q Division street collected the 500
and slowly and sadly he MAZE arrange
ments 10 carry out the dead Sea Robbers
wishes as soon as the club should resume
its regular fishing trips The club re-
sumed yesterday, and yesterday the deed
was done, and Philip Jaeger, though dead
and gone read to the worms, TO Old Death
ana 10 his fellowmen such a lesson as
they should not forget.
The boat was the steam launch Sur
prise. Loaded with the sixteen sea Rob-
bers, carrying the precious casket full of
Jaeger's ashes, she puted solemnly from
Clifton, Staten Island, to the Romer
Shoals, OF Sandy hook.
The little brass cannon Of the launch
fired salute, an in itation to the fish 10
come TO dinner. OF MIR. Jaeger's fine per
sonality there was left just four pounds
of ashers. These ashes were divided
into four parts, and these were thrown
one to the east, one TO the west, one to
the north and one TO the south. The
ashes were dark gray. with here and
there little solid pieces as big as half a
finger.
The ashes settled softly down on the
waves and melted swiftly into the sea s
green bosom. AS they toated down 10
the sandy bottom Mr. Goetmann, the
lawyer, made an address. A mournful
dirge was played by the cornet.. George
j. Work took OF his hat and said:
Gentlemen, we baptize this the Philip
Jaeger fishing ground. Peace to his
ashes" The cornet played "Should
Aud Acquaintance Be orgot," and
every Sea kobber sang the song. Almost
every roober had prepared an appropri-
ate sentiment.
All the Sea Robbers signed document
which told the events of the day. 1t was
put in the empty casket that had con-
tanned the ashes, the casket was weighted
and dropped TO the bottom Of the sea.
Thus finally disappeared from the
scene of human action MIR. Philip Jaeger
who once kept saloon at the corner of
Avenue A and Thirteenth street. IL was
IL As o'clock. No man cares TO drop
flsh-hook into his dead friends grave.
The Sea Robbers decided that they could
not fish on their favorite spot where
Philip Jaeger lay. They moved of TO an
other place, 300 yards away. They tshed
for three hours and got only six sea bass
Next Thursday they will fish on Jaeger's
grave.