The Washington times., 1894-09-16
JUSTICE ILLUMINED;
THE RETORT LEGAL.

WITHOUT ARaUMENT-A young lawyer
talked four hours to an Indiana jury who
felt like lynching him. His opponent. a
grizzled old professional, arose, looked
sweetly at the judge, and said: "Your honor,
will follow the example of my young friend
who has just finished, and submit the case
without argument" Then he sat down, and
the silence was large and oppressive.
CoRRoBoRATIvE EVIDENCE NEEDED-In a
Washington county town little while ago
the local champion liar was brought up be-
fore the justice for stealing hens. 1t was a
pretty plain case, and by the advice Of his
lawyer the prisoner said: II plead guilty.
This surprising answer in place Of string Of
lies expected staggered the justice. He
rubbed his head. II guess-Im afraid
well, Hiram," said he, after pause, 81 guess
I'll have to have more evidence before SEN
tence you."
PRoFITIEG BY ExPERIENCE-There Is a GER
tain Judge in Chicago who rather prldes him
self on his vast and varied knowledge of law.
The other day he was compelled to listen 20 a
case that had been appealed from n justice Of
the peace. The young practitioner who ap-
peared for the appellant was long and tedious.
He brought in all the elementary text books
and quoted the fundamental propositions OF
the law. At last the judge thought it was
time to make an effort to hurry him up
the court knows little law itself" That's
the very mistake l made In the lower court, "
answered the young man. Il don't want TO
let 1t defeat me twice."
CONTEMPT IN THE SECOND DEGREE-In
arguing point before a Judge of the SUI
perior court Col. Folk, of tho mountain cir
cult, in North Carolina. laid down very
doubtful proposition OF law The Judge eyed
him moment and queried: ''Col. Folk, do
you think that is law?" The colonel grace
fully bowed and replied: "Candor compels
me to say do not but did not know now
it would strike your honor" The judge de-
liberated few moments and gravely said:
THAT may not be contempt of court, but It
is close shave"
TRIED BY HIS PEERs-Henry W. Paine, the
eminent Boston lawyer, once went to one of
tho interior towns of Maine where n boy was
on trial for arson. He had no council, and
Mr.. Paine was assigned by the court to take
charge Of his case. He discovered after a
brief interview with the boy that he was half
witted. The jury. however, was composed
Of farmers who owned barns such as the de-
fendant was alleged to have set on fire, and, q,
in spite OF the boys evident weakness of in
tellect, they brought in verdict of guilty.
! The presiding justice turned to Mr.. Paine
and remarked: Have you any motion 10
make?' Mr.. Paine arose, and in his dry and
weighty manner answered: mo. your honor
believe l have secured for this idiot boy all
that the laws Of Maine and the Constitution
OF the United States allow-a trial by his
peers"
SARCASM OF THE BENcH-The sarcastic JUS
tice Maule did not spare his judicial brethren.
Il do not believe" he said to the counsel
once, THAT any such absurd law has ever
been laid down, although it is true that 1
have not yet seen the last number of the
Queens Bench Reports" When a witness
was telling an impossible story, and declared
that he would not tell lie, for he had been
welded to truth from his infancy, Justice
Maule observed in his dry. incisive tone:
"Yes, but the question is: How long have you
been q widower!"