Smyrna times., 1894-04-25
Varieties.

9ome men are born great, and some have
The, vertical system Of handwriting is be-
ing advocated by educators for use in nnb-
he schools.
=, " W, no says poetry doesn't pay27 cried
yHo ,l. e1itor. Here poem, with fifteen
" Inc king ship exhibited at the Worlds
fa!r has been secured by an association in
oHlcag', and will be kept in that city.
Vassar College. at Pouchkcep.io \ Y
Is about to collect, on large scale. the
ton W '''"' Sec-
Blood poisoning, it lis said. from q lead
PcHttH PRICK, resulted in the death Of Geo.
'' N'o'u-' oi NorwaIE, Conn, on Saturday.
j., Il m on 60 your little game," exclaimed
IN customer who had been given spar
70" on toast when hc asked ior quail
Can you swim?
Ncs.
Where did you learn
In the water
\ watch chain tina. had been missing for
| several years wa, found in the stomach of a
| COW slaughtered by Jacl, Bird. Of Merri-
wether, Georgia. recently.
jacob Green, a I-ycar-oId child. fell out
OF the fifth story 0fa New York house, on
sunday and landed on a pedestrians
shoulder. Neither was seriously hurt.
Cobble-"Do they furnish plenty of
steam in yoUr apartment ?' Stone" Well.
old man, if you doubt IL just come up there
on the first warm day
/ Christopher Columbus.the EsquiIno baby
! born at the Chicago Worlds Fair. died at
! the San Francisco midWinter fair last week.
! The climate was too cneryating for him.
/ Ex-Uuited States Senator Bradbury. of
Augusta, Ne. who is hale and active at the
/ age of tj, wa. in Washington last week re-
/ visiting scenes i'm which he was factor
| when Webster, Clay and Calhoun were his
| colleagues. lie has called upon several
Of the Cabinet otiicers.
All the other European powers, says the
/ St Petersburg rGc-p -p0nacut Of Il Paris,
Journal united Iu 70 movement for Peace
/ longrc>-. % arrange tar0 general reduc-
/ ton ot their respective armies but the Gar
objected AicN0rl.r HI will keep the
peace in his own way, or there will not be
much oiitto keep.
About themo-t encouraging report for
! Democrats j. 10 the returns of the town
election j. from Spring Hill, Kansas. where
every woman voted. This is a welcome
variation SAYS democratic paper. to the
monotony otuHaduIlerat"d Rcpublicanism.
1900 representative farmers in 1900 town
ships of Kansas have reported % the Labor
Commissioner of that State that the aver
age cost oi raising "a bushel of wheat is G3
cents. while the average price for five years
at local shipping places has been IS cents.
All things comes o. him who waits. Tom
Reed can look with satisfaction on the
spectacle Of Speaker Crisp counting a
quorum. Reeds "czari-m is now justi-
fed,
Among the few sensible ideas which come
to us, occasionally. from out of the West,
is the latest Missouri social junction, q car
pet tackinG party. Il strikes the man who
lay carpets al night, that carpet tacking
party is n very respectable affair and pre-
emlnentiy pIeasur0bIe-tor him.
The United States supreme court has de-
clared that lager beer Is not spirituOus
liquor. With all due respect to 50 high an
authority we must dissent. The proof of
the beer is in the drinking, and many
man has proven by his Struggling feet, his
beclouded mind and big head in the
morning, that beer is spirituous.
1t begins to look as though Coxey's army
may succumb to rum, rheumatism and re-
bellion.
Dover H13cr says the man who is willing
to pass judgment upon the Wilson bill be-
fore he has seen it in operation, is the kind
of man who ought to be disqualified from
voting.
Colonel Ingersoll wishes it to be distinct
ly understood that he has not the slightest
| objection to being saved
On Wednesday Judgment was entered
against John \. Mckane for 1860 for 6S4l
newspaper clippings furnished to him by a
press clippings bureau from September,
1898, to February -. 1894. Yet Mckane,
after reading these GSil clippings, wonders
why he is now in Sing Sing prison.
When Commander Jones marched down
Penny Hill last Friday and encamped upon
the bank of the ShellpOt he had sixty-one
; followers. When he marched out of the
town of North East, Md, he had but nine
teen privates and two officers. The army
has therefore lost about two-thirds of its
strength, and commander Jones will be
fortunate ithe reaches Washingtown with
his own shadow.
This is the time of year when the man,
J forgetting how he had to dig the garden,
beat carpets and rake the front yard, wishes
he were boy again.
Governor Mckinley gave baseball a
Buckeye send-otf by attending the initial
game at Cincinnati Thursday, between the
. Chicago and the Cincinnati aggregations.
; Itthe governor can manage to double up
, his popularity rs the champion Protection
ist he will probably try for home run.
A swarm ofangry bees attacked funeral
at Ronkonllma, y. Y, on Wednesday,
stung a pail bearer in the neck. intensified
the undertaker's gloom, and gave several
mourhers additional cause for regret. Mr..
Depew was also stung in the neck recently
by bee: but he hastened to affirm that it
was none of his funeral