Democratic messenger., 1894-01-06
A BAD CASE.
He Tells a Tale of Woe to His
Son JOnnie.


door?'
"No, pa"
mo hearse waiting at the corner ?
why, no indeed"
NO floral offerings. gates aiar or
broken columns. down stairs
"Of course not, pa"
"No undertaken sitting out on the
front steps with quart jug of
embalming fluid under his arm?'
"Why certainly not. pa"
See if there isn't couple of tomb
stone dealers standing on the other
side OF the street gazing upward at
the window"
"Not one. pa"
Then must still be in the land Of
the living, and | ought to he thankful.
but its - tough pull
You've had ii pretty tough, pa"
Had what
The grip"
Grip nothing. haven't had the
grip These last four weeks | have
spent in bed have not been due to
grip Ii was misplaced confidence. my
sou, aud this is how it all happened.
You probably remember | had cold
about a month ago, don't YOU -
"Yes. pa.
We'll, the fends incarpate, who
claim to he my friends. did the rest.
First. | met Smith. Hello saws he,
you've got it,
Got what. says
The grip says he. and then he
gave me prescription. II consisted
of pint Of black molasses, pint Of
Irish whiskey, ,teaspoonful of red pepper
aud a half-ounce of powdered quinine
Take that little dose before retiring
and you'll feel like 2-yearold in
the morning. he said, with siendish
grin.
"And did You do it. pa?"
"Yes but that was not all. On the
next corner | met Brown.
"'Well. | see you've got the grip;
he blurted out, as he smiled fright
ful smile. I've got the very stuff to
knock it out in one night What you
want to do is to eat halt-pound of
loaf sugar soaked in coal oil. wrap
yourself up in wet sheet and 60 10
bed and tomorrow you'll I've as lively
as game cock.
"And did you do it. Fa?"
ALAS | did.
But still came another. Jones was
his name. was almost home when
met him.
- Awfnlly sorry for YOU, old man.
he whined, as he graspcd my hand.
You have bad case surely, but |
have the champion grip cure. You
want to put mustard plasters under
your arm-pits. bathe your head III
salt water, take steam bath and
four doses of horse powders. which
the label said were Cool for man or
beast. and he thought might pull
through.
II wrote all different remedies down
together with these which ! was
advised to use by Old Aunt Liza.
the cook. your mother. her mother
and all the neighbors The order filed
sheet of foolscap paper closely writ
ten and one consignment of remedies
on dray The stuff kept coming all
the evening. while lay on the lounge
expecting every moment To he ushcred
up to the golden gate and ordered to
pick out harp.
Il was first-prize lunatic. II took
YOUR mother two hours to get me
ready for bed. ] had dried mullen
leaves on my feet, salt pork and fan
mel on my chest, mustard plasters
urder my arm-pits, Il hotwater bag
on my head. wet sheet around my
chest and four blankets on top of that.
On the inside Of me-Ohl Lord, |
shudder at the thought-there was
rum and molasses. whiskey and honey.
cual-oil aud sugar, quinine and hot
milk. lemon juice and asaf@tida, lime
water and spinach leaves, vinegar and
sulphur. Dovers powders. horse pow
ders. and ] guess I'd have swallowed
blasting powder it anyone had suggest
ell it.
"But I'm alive vet. The doctors
pumped it all out of me after tw"
hours hard work. They told me it
thev hadn't arrived when they did |
would have been wearing wooden
ulster now.
"You see the fearful consequences
of misplaced confidence"
"Yes, pa" and the patient heaved