Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-01-25
Let us All laugh.

Let us All Laugh.
A BARBER has no right to lather
his wife. Boston Courier.
IT'S wise cow that knows its own
butter. Florida Times Union.
The profane man always takes a
cursory view of the other side.-Dal-
las News
The cannibal does not believe that
one mans meat is another mans
poison. -Puck
The death of an assiffed man in
Tennessee is reported. He died hard.
Chicago Tribune.
A CHICAGO paper swelfs with indig-
nation that dried apples are not pro-
tected. Plain Dealer.
IN a cafe the order to retreat is
always followed by spirited attack.
-Yonkers Statesman.
A MAN can't help having his judg-
ment warped by a hot temper
Binghamton Republican.
A MINER may be ever SO well off
but he can't help getting i'm a hole
occasionally. Toledo Commercial.
SECRETARY LAMONT says that the
fighting Indian is no more. His
whoops are out of fashion. -PhiIadel-
phia Times.
THE Boston policeman who talked
with juryman got himself into
box, and the juryman got out of one.
Lowell Courier.
-
cost to have tooth taken out?'
Dentist-"One form, miss; but by
the dozen it comes cheaper. Die
Amsterdammer.
HE-"I shall have to 20. j hope
you will have a pleasant evening""
She-"Oh, I'm greatly obliged to you.
| am sure to have pleasant time"
Boston Transcript
The YOUTH Does a man ever get
too old to take an interest in life?
The Sage-Oh, yes. But he general
ly RECEIVERS by the time he is 25.--
Indianapolis Journal.
"Haye you copy OF
Fifteen Decisive Battles?" Book
seller-"Nn, sir; weare sold out. But,
we can give you reflections of q.
Married Man. -Tid-Bits>
IT is we'll enough to have your
knowledge at your fingers ends, but
when you want to pass an examina-
tion it is better to put it on the end
of your cuffs. Elmira Gazette.
IT was three hard boiled eggs that
knocked out the G. 0. M, AT his age
hot IN,
this respect his home rule may be
changed. Philadelphia Ledger.
FOREIGNER What do You mean
by saying that things are 'as thick AS
hops?' New Y orkeT-"I mean they
are packed as close as people in a
private ballroom in New York. p
Life.
"GRAN'MA," said little 4-yearold
Austin, as he twined his arms low
ingly about his grandmother's neck,
you'll never know how much love
you till you have a child Of your own"
--Harper's Bazaar.
MRS. PEACHBLow-~W Why does your
husband carry such tremendous
amount of life insurance, when he's
in such perfect health?" Mrs. Flicker
90, just to Uantalize me Men are
naturally cruei"--Life
PRIMUs-Jobson is phiIanthro-
pist. What does he do?
Primus-He's SO sorry for poor chill.
dren who have no Christmas that he,
spends the year telling them thai
Santa Claus is myth. Puck.
WIFE-"John, you haven't given
me enough money for what / want"
Husband-"It's just what gave you
before" Wife-"T ut prices have
gone up, you know" Husband-"But
so has money, my dear. Truth.
AuNTIE-"You should ask to be
excused when you leave the table"
Little Nephew =" should II I
thought from the way you acted about
that third piece Of pie that you'd be
glad to see me go. Good News.
THE FLORAL CIPHER.-She-I am
not up in the language Of towers
What did that bunch OF Jacque-
minots mean that you sent mes He
i don't get the translation from tie
florist until the end Of the month
Life.
JOHNNIE Mamma, / heard the
preacher say to-day that matches
we're made in heaven, Is 1t SOP"
Mamma-"Of course. Why mott"
Johnnie-"Well, / don't see any use
for matches. There's no night there. I"
Detroit Free Press.
AFTER instructing his men in the
points Of the compass. Lieut. W
SAYS to one of them: "Yo1, have. jim
front of you the north; on. your night
the east; on your left the. west.
What have you behind you9" Pr
vate B (after few moments re-.
iection) knapsack., Lieutenant
-Libre Parole.