The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-01-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A good dressing dowu-Swan's
You usually love people because you
do not know them. Globe.
A tree seems more polite in winter
because you can see its boughs. Ga
zette.
The best "quarter- back" The one
returned by the man to whom you
lent it.-Chicsgo Record.
Jagson says hot water will dissolve
almost everything, including bnsi-
ness firm. -Elmira Gazette.
Stranger ''Who owns this store?"
Ofliceboy-"The boss says I do, but l
don't. Detroit Free Press.
asked a gay chrysanthemum
What made her flourish so
She answered, looking frolicsomo
81 get such lots Of show !"
-Puck.\
Jones--'Does Daubre paint for
living?" Wright should say not,
to Judge by his pictures. New York
Times.
''No," she exclaimed with emotion,
81 can never forgive you, but-but--
I will try to forget you. Boston
Transcript.
The warlike spirit never dies,
Inpeace It's present Just the same;
When Nations know no enemies
Their youth will brave the football game.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Brown-J Jones' $50 he married
You after ALP Mrs. Brown-Smith-
eyes, after all had, but he didn't
get it. Truth.
To borrow money is to borrow
trouble, and some men find it a good
deal of trouble to borrow money, too.
--Somerville Journal.
A New Jersey exchange urges the
use of the spring trap in dealing with
thievish tramps. It's n snappy artl'
cle.-Philadelphia Ledger. =.
II have lost my heart, he whispered.
Gazing in her lovely eyes
But the rlaiden coldly answered.
''Why don't you ADVERTISE
Professor Garner says he can tell
what monkeys say to one another
But who wants to know that? There
is too much talk of that kind already.
- Chicago Tribune.
He-"Was the Suddenlys elope-
ment a success?" She Hardly; her
father telegrnphed them out West to
stay where they were and all would be
forgiven. brooklyn Life.
Police Magistrate Have you ever
seen the prisoner at the bar?" Wit
ness" "Never, your Honor; but I've
seen him when 1 strongly suspected
he'd been at it. Tit-Bits.
Columbus was considered q great
italian because he made an egg stand
on end, but nowadays Italians think
nothing of having q peanut stand on
the corner. Buffalo Times.
There was a young man in Bellaire
Who said, "When was at the fare'
SO they jumped on his neck
And left him a wreck,
With his heels sticking up in the aire.
indianapolis Journal.
"You seem to be a-frayed, ob.
served the hat-iron That's because
! am hard pressed, retorted the
collar, starchily. And the ironing.
board got hot under the collar. Chi.
cago Tribune.
A fno collection OF fossils formed
by her father has been given to Cam.
bridge University England by Mrs.
Moore of Beardley. Several interest.
ing specimens are still at large on this
side. Philadelphia Ledger.
Ofiiceboy--"Ill get even with the
old snoozer for not letting me OFF this
Janitor What can you
do?" Ohiceboy Every crank, book
agent and bum that comes will 60
straight in. "--Broolilyn Life,
Crusty Old Gentleman Your sing.
ing, Miss Taylor, is like altar of roses
-" Miss Taylor with Il gratifed
you are too fattering,"
Old Gentleman continuing little
ot it goes n long way. - Tit-Bits.
Teacher -"Who can tell mo what
lseful article we got from the whale ?"
Johnny - "Whalebone. Teacher
Right. Now, what little boy or girl
Knows what we get from the seal?
Tommy Sealing wax II Racket
mr.. Smartly, said the professor
n the astronomy class, "how far
should We let ourselves be guided by
he theories of Copernicusg' ''As to
hat, % replied Mr.. Smartly, II should
prefer to intrust so important de-
'ision entirely TO you, sir. Chicago
Record
Il have seed some pretty ignernt
,eoplo amung the summer boarders
ny vito takes every year, said old
dr. Jason, "but they amt never none
# them up to the young woman thet
wanted TO know If apple butter wuz
nade from feedin' apples 20 the cows.
indianapolis Journal.