River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-01-04
PITh AND POINT.


One reason why some men de not
have better wives is because they are
such poor husbands. Horn.
The toy-pistol victim only comes
once year. but the crank who wants
20 shoot Niagara falls is perennial
Washington Star.
AT the banquets given by men the
women get toasted; at the luncheons
given by women the men get roasted.
-Atchison Globe.
-Naturalist-''And now. how shall
we prove that man is the superior
creature" Pupil-"By asking him. -
cleveland Plaindealer.
There ARE very few successful
school-teachers whom some boy has
not decided to whip when he gets
grown.-G weston News.
AT Naples -Tourist-'That's Vesu-
vius, isn't it?" Policeman =" Yes. I"
Tourist-"will you tell me when the
next eruption will occur?"-Fliegende
Batter.
No Need of It-Oldwed-"Wh
are you going to call the baby?"
Newed-"Great Scott, man, l don't
have to call him. He's awake all the
time Detroit Free Press.
Miss de Vere-''The dude with the
red hair has proposed to that Slender
" girl" Dolly Danzer-"I don't won
der. She's thin enough to make a
match. Music and Drama.
She-"So my old fiance has really
married your sweetheart. It's rather
sad" e-"Eh-yes-but can't we
have a consolation match, like they do
in tennis?"-Harper's Bazaar.
MARY Ann" remarked Mrs. Wick
wire, II think if you will take sweep
ing glance around this parlor you will
see that you have given it a very glanc-
ing sweep. "-Indianapolis journal
Mrs. Comehome-"Yo say you are
q good washer and ironer; how do you
tell when the irons are too hot?" Serv-
ant docking for place)-''How? BY
smelling the burning linen, mum, of
course"
Let me see" said Bobbs 10 Dobbs,
isn't this Dobbs that we were just
talking about relative of yours"
"A distant relative" said Dobbs
'l-ery distan.2" IL should think so.
He's the oldest of twelve children, and
I'm the youngest. "-Tit-Bit
-Rt. Rev Mr. Cassock-"I greatly
fear. my dear ma'am. that your hus-
band is destined to reap a harvest of
tares." Mrs. Swiftly Gay-"Indeed |
fear so. bishop: he has been on one for
the last three days. Harlem Life.
Small Boy-"Want yer satchel kerr
ried. mister?' Elderly Traveler-"Why.
you're too little, my son, to carry as
heavy a satchel as this" Small Boy
'Yes'r. Mebby YOU wouldn't mind
givin' me nickel for offerin' to kerry
it."
In a Bad Fix-His Sister-"It is
true that Helen Goldust has money,
out she is so exacting; if you were to
marry her, you would have to give up
smoking and drinking" Her Brother
IF don't marry her, ! shall have to
give up eating as well."-Vogue.
- hope you like your work, my
lad, said benignant elderly person
to a messenger boy. as they waited to-
gether to cross a street Men who
ia ke pride in their work are the men who
succeed ''Oh. I'm a record breaker,
the manager says" That's the way
for boy to talk. Tell me how you do
better than the other boys" ~ can
take longer to carry a message than
any of them"
Aunt Maria-'I suppose that young
man is coming to see you again this
evening"" Maude-"Do you?" Aunt
i'll ha
shall say, Maude, to all the folks that
are asking if he is your lover?' Maude
Tell them you don know" Aunt
Maria-"But if they should ask what
think" Maude-"Say you think it
is none of your business. boston
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