The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1894-08-13
HE HAD THE SYMPTOMS.
The Editor Reads the Advertisement and
Answers Its Queries.

Answers It's queries.
Look at the questions that some special.
lists fire at people through the advertising
columns Of the great dailies.
Are you nervous"
We can be ON occasion Sometimes our
jaw wags without any apparent cause or
reason, and sometimes our right arm goes
out in front as il we were hunting for a
John l.. Sullivan. Sometimes we kick high
and unceremoniously and are surprised at
the cobwebs and dust that come down on
us. We never knew before it was all due
TO catarrh.
Are you dejectedS"
Sometimes. In fact, most Of the time
This is hard world i'm many respects, and
our path is often as stony as the Appian
Way in Rome. The laundry bill comes
regularly; board bill, too, and rent and
subscriptions to the papers, and car fare
and wages, etc, while-but there is enough
In this world to make us detected without
having the catarrh.
"Is your stomach weakY"
Now IL that is an invitation TO have some
thing, count us in for devilish weak
stomach. WeakS Well, we would smile
IL we could. Why, our stomach Just now
wouldn't hold gill of rotten apple cider.
It's too weak to rest our case on for relief
from the county board, and that's saying
good deal. If somebody can make IA.
tai case of catarrh out of a weak stomach
he can't begin too soon for our comfort
Have you lost ambitionp
Doggoned if we haven't. Hardly know
what it is Don't even have the sand to 90
out after dark and shake fists at the moon
But we had rather attributed it to the fact
that we have just come out Of a campaign
In " -rtrft, off
whoop and hurrah and an overwhelming
majority-until election day, when it seem
ed as If we had been throwing all our in
fuence to the other fellow. If IL were only
catarrh that takes away our ambition, we
should be too ready and willing to confess
it. But it isn't. It's plain case of disap-
pointment.
"Is your breath oiIensiveY"
Just come around and smell it, If you can
get close enough. But remember that we
are nervous.
"Do you have roaring in your head'"
Roaringl Goodness graciOusl That ~
no name for it. Why, when we actually
begin to think and to pour out rivers OF
language the roaring in our heads is tire
mendous, it is appalling, and good many
people call it rumblng, thinking an earth
quake is coming. We have had roaring in
orr head ever since we began to do think
ing for the masses Of the people and pre-
sumo that is why we don't get rich-it
scares the prey away But If this roaring
business is merely IA disease of the mucous
lining of the head, throat and stomach we
want to submit atonce to an operation that
will remove disease and membrane at one
sharp slash.
"Do you get confused in your ideasi"
Some people say we do, sometimes. For
instance, when one of our reporters found
that the Cinnamon were being iuventorled,
and the compostor set it up being wet and
dried" almost anybody would be safe in
saying that we do sometimes get confused
| in our ideas, especially so as the reporter il
also the compositor, proofreader I'D editor
in chief. If it is catarrh that ans him, we
are willing to give him his discharge at any
time if somebody will undertake to cure
the confusion. There are lots of other ques-
tions we might answer with equal aflirma-
ton, but we have no right to intrude the
symptoms Of SO disagreeable a disease on
our readers for nothing, no matter how
many of them we may have.-Superior In
| land Ocean.