The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1894-03-25
JONES'S VISIT TO JAGLAND.

| Jones has had another experiences
| weird ghostIy conscience-disturbing ex-
| pcrience. AS stated heretofore, Jones is an
| experientialst; he has taken little stock in
| sensationalism of any kind. Intuitionalism,
| spiritualism, hypnotism and kindred isms
| have been regarded by him unworthy
| of serious consideration, let alone cultiva-
| ton. He has delved little into the science
| of psychology, but only as a diversion-a
respite to more practical matters. If he
had been a thorough metaphysician, his
| latest experience would not have worried
| him; he would have attributed it to a night
mare and dismissed it from his mind the
next morning. This he was unable. to do.
| for the incident that befel him was awe-in-
spring and beyond his comprehension.
When Jones returned from Jokeland,
where he buried his hopes of becoming a
humorist, he resumed the work of perfect
ing his Exhilarant an intoxicant In con-
densed form that produces inebriation of a
mild nature and without the righteousness
that accompanies the use of alcoholic liq-
uors. Whether Jones, in the course of his
experiments, took an overdose OF his Elk
hilarant or, in comparing its effect with
that of whisky, drank too much from the
bottle that contains both joy and SORROW
joy If touched lightly; sorrow If tarried
with too long-is question that Jones has
not explained. 1t is surmised, however, that
Jones strayed from the straight temper
ance path to the devious road that leads to
jagdom; that he had jag, real Jones
Jag. BY this it is not meant that the sub
ject of the sketch is given to jags On the
contrary, he is model of exemplariness,
and is so alluded to by some or his friends.
But 1t is to be regretted that there are
other Joneses in the world who are not so
exemplary as our Jones. Jones ana 1ags
tion that when the paragraphers mind runs
in the direction of jags II invariably turns
b1d the G ioke around a Hence in some news
paper offices Jones has become almost
synonym for jays Why the worthy name
of Jones is thus banded throughout the
land is not clear, though ii is believed that
the frequency of the name on station-house
States opposite the word drunk has some
thing to do with Ii. Midnight ROSTERS VINO
is red are wont to hide their identity, when
run in by the police, under the common
being a more mellifuous word than Brown;
ii is used oftener, both by "drunks" and
editors of funny columns In Easter r1 ana
PLANTATION of the SANDER on name priced
and respected by all who are rightfully
entitled TO wear 1t; put II Is no coindor Ito 20
''intemperate wits will spare neither friend
nor foe,'' he must continue TO suner Tor
the mlSdolngS OF OtneTs. -
1t is to be hoped that no reader will be
offended at the frequent use Of the word
"jag." 1t is true that in the sense Ii is
used here ii is of doubtful origin, is slangy
and smacks of the 'levee" or slums, but
it is as expressive as many other localisms
that are creeping into the language, and
certainly not more offensive than ''tipsy'
or drunk" Jag has also a more flexible
meaning than the. two words quoted it is
now applied to all stages of intoxication.
For instance, there is the little jag" the
mild jag" the half jag" the lovely
jag" the big jag" the heavy jag" the
lawful jag'Sand the Jones jag" The
latter is so distinctive that the phraseolo-
gist decided in converting Jones' into an
adjective. that the word needed no COM
parative; it was already in the superlative
degree. And now il is time TO return to the
original Jones and his experience.
When Jones was fully under the influence
of the intoxicant he had taken during his
experiments he became wholly oblivious to
worldly affairs and while in this state,
took another trip to Dreamland; From there
IL was short journey TO Jagland, one of
the isles that dot the Sea of Brain. When
Jones visited Jokeland not long ago he
found guide necessary, but he needed no
one to guide him through Jagland. The way