River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-02-01
The Corbett-Mitchell Scrap.


Were one to. visit this terrestrial
bali wi bout any previous knowledge
of its inhabitants, he might be led to
remark in the language of Puck, "what
fools these mortals be-" or words to
that effect. He would be induced to
make this remark on coming to an
understanding of the blindness of man.
kind TO his own interests. Were he to
Judge of the things which occupy the
attention of mankind by the manner
IN which they are presented in the
daily press he would be astonished to
find that the United States of America
Is living along in hand to mouth
condition, pugilistically, without a
single legally organized University,
College or Academy of Fisticuff in the
whole length, breadth. height or depth
OF the land. Not single place where
the sixty millions of plodding Ameri-
cans can go to learn even the A c
of the manly art" to say nothing of
get ing instruction up in the higher
branches of that most interesting pro-
fession.
Two men. with mass of muscle
something more than the average of
their fellow men,--but inferior to that
in mules hind leg, of course--are
petted and patted, doped and dieted,
sent to bed early, made to exercise a
certain quantity, in the line that
completes with the mule and not the
exercise that would bring them into
competition with Webster or
Choate. and the papers note to a hair,
for weeks togather their down
sittings and their uprislngs," tell their
weight to an ounce, how they harden
their leathery cheek, every sage re-
mark that the one makes about the
other, some of them SO wise and witty
that they can hardly fail to find
place among the aphorisms of our age,
as for example when one of them re-
marks, I'D like to cut him, 1.-THE other
toughl into shoestrings," and then
after all this rant and roar this hustle,
brag and buster, these two men meet
and pound each other in the face for |
nine minutes while one mass of |
muscle labeled Corbett, tries and part |
ly succeeds in distiguring the counte- |
nance of the other mass of muscles |
labeled Mitchell. The curtain rings |
down and the play is done and nothing |
is left for the daily papers but to print
as many columns as they can squeeze
out of the delectable details of the
ennobling proceedings and everything
ends happily. America is proud be-
cause the mass of muscle known as
Mitchell has the blood of the British
nation a little fresher in his veins |
than the other fellow. IL anything
delights the average American it is to
see something or somebody that is a
little more English than the rest of us
whipped and well whipped. To see
Hottentot strike Gladstone would not 1
he an unpleasant sight to many
American eyes. Gladstone is English
and the Hottentot isn't.
One of the crying needs in This
country is college for the training of
young men and young women in the
skillful use of their fists,--not one
college but many, if one is to judge by
the prominence attached by the daily
pr IS to a nine minutes scrap. The
space given to the matter is greater
than that given to any single intel
lectual event, whether it be the found
ing of great library, a great inter
collegiate contest, or the doings and
saying Of any philosopher, poet or
preacher in the last ten years.
America will never be entitled to a
place in the front ranks of humanity |
until besides our churches and our |
schools and Libraries there stands an
institution where Americans may |
receive grstuitious instruction in the |
best methods of pounding one another's
faces to Jelly. Let US have the fisti-
cuff school, and at once.