davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

DANIEL DuRoNDA. March. 1924.

correct report TO the public or suffer
ON garbled accounts now at large ev-
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

And then she has such eyes! So free
from any expression! So bright and red
with uusneI and wOOdshed tearS-tearS
that are bred by a smoky tepee!
No. Angeiine. Take back your crest
and giveit little air and whisk broom.
Send back my letters, and l will return
Your nose ring. In fact. when l met
with you forgot to say anything of it,
but l had been happily wed -ver II
wears. and the only title l want is one
that can read good and clear to man.
sions in the skies and not be greeted with
the cry of Louder"
Princess Angelina, here our pathways
seem to fork. Twill take whichever fork
is left after You have trotted down the
other And now long farewell, Angie.
| will send the nose ring TO you at the
agency or in care of the roadmaster on
the warpath, as you direct.
At Toronto the other day we were pre-
coded by Hon. Mackenzie Bowel on
The Great Advantages to Be Derived
From Reciprocal Trade Between Aus
tralia and Canada" Heis good speak
er and was very carefully listened to. l
had known a family of that name at
Compassion, Ohio, years ago, and meet
ing him after his lecture l ventured to
ask him if he might be related to the
Bowels of Compassion, and he turned
on his heel with frosty glance at me
that almost gave me pneumonia.
hate to be received in that way when
/ am unconscious of saying a de trop
thing.
Canada the past month has been filled
with gayety, and winter sports. have
been at their full height. Canada, like
the state of Maine, does not mind paving
81 500 or g, 600 for good driving horse,
not for gambling or racing, but Just so
that the owner can SNOWFALL the rest Of
the town.
We rode the other day over the c.. c.
F. and S. railroad to Kent from Cleve-
land. All the employees were happy and
polite. Something unusual seemed to
be up.
said to the brakeman: "Is this Wash
ington's birthday or the Fourth of July?
You all seem so unnaturally gay"
"Well, it's better than any of those
days." he said straightway. Its pay
dayl For Eve months the road has been
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
The Etiquette of Signature.

So far as the etiquette Of the signature is
concerned there is one unvarying rule
for women, married or single. 1t is new
er right nor good form to sign ones
name with the addition of Miss or Mrs,
says Harper's Bazaar, which says: You
are Mary Emily Jones, not Mrs. Patrick
Fitzgerald Jones, to whomsoever you
may be writing. If it be necessary to
notify your correspondent of your mar
ried style and estate, you may do so
in one of several ways. Please observe
that a correspondent should not be left
in doubt as to this, much embarrassment
being frequently caused by the omission
in letters between strangers of exact in
formation as to whether the writer is
married or single.
You may easily indicate all you wish
to tell. You may place Mrs. P. F. be-
fore the Mary Emily aforesaid in paren-
thesis. You may write Mrs. Patrick
Fitzgerald out fully and plainly in the
left hand corner of your sheet below
your proper signature. or you may SIM
ply inclose your engraved visiting card
in your letter, this being on the whole
the most elegant and also the most con-
venient method of showing ones relation
to society. The exception must be re-
marked here that the visiting card is out
of place in an exclusively business letter,
one which has not even remotely a social
bearing.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

a correct report 10 the puDllc or suffer
from garbled accounts now at large ev-
eryw;.yrc.
Sine. the sad story of the Princess CO.
lUuna. the dauSlter-or stepdaughter,
rather-of my old friend John w. Mac
kay. [ have been given a great big pause
a pair of them. for that matter-as re-
CARDS the union of wealthy Americans to
titled but unfumigated foreigners.
The Prince Colonna has gambled away
quarter of a million francs at one time
belonging 10 the princess, and now she
has had to steal away from her home in
Italy with her three children to escape
him
In TINS l do not wish in any way to
reflect on my own royal tiancee, who has
borne q good character for over 90years,
hat she Is poor and is said to be gam
bier. having spent two years recently
catching fish enough to pay the poker
debt of one evening at court.
Excuse me for appearing cold and stol-
il 10 the charms of the princess. to whom
I promised my hand in marriage SO soon
IS times should pick mp, but aside from
beng a royal gambler, and sometimes
even royal flush gambler Princess An
Gvline is said 10 allow her socks to sag in
summer time and to pause during the
music while dancing the oxford 10 whoop
them mp
No one knows how l hate to give this
fact IL the press. but royalty, and espe-
c:allv royalty that has demonetized it
~ylf and Is out Of a job, gives me that
tired feeling 80 noticeable in the spring
+ the year.
sean carefully the picture of the prin-
cess copied hero from portrait now in
IL. Vatican. [u.,. the low. retreating
tor-head and The ecurnful curl of the lip.
TAX a man with my style of long suffer
ing and forhrarlrce. and you can see
thar ! would experience hell on earth.
Regard the safety pin in the shawl.
What poor taste in a court costume.
Even III 4 court Of over and terminer
that would not go! Safety pins are a de-
light: bur, like the truss. they should not
l'e worn on the outside.
Notice the wide sweep of nostrils, de
noting longevity and hellsh temper
from away back behind the centuries.
No. Princess Angelina. If Won say APP
zeal II the courts. all right, but I feel
almost certain that if | married you l
would - right on lecturius and hire You
to stay at home. | could not love you rs
person Of vour size ought TO be loved.
| never could love woman who could
not read fine print and boil eggs.
l WAS fool To ever make this promise
10 the princess. she was 80 plain. how
ever. that I thought she must he good.
and She admired my writings and said l
ought 10 have monument - feet high.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Not Honest.

The old man pondered long and deeply.
MY son." he said at length in a deep
solemn, hollow voice, you have always
thought yourself the offspring of poor but
honest parents"
The youth turned pale.
Father" he gasped, 'can it be that you
are rich after all?"
The patriarch's head sank upon his
bosom.
Boy" he exclaimed. you have arrived
at an age when you should be deceived no
longer"
Leading the way to the attic, with trem.
bling, eager hands he removed few loose
boards and showed his child how he made
the gas meter lose a couple of hundred feet
every month.-Truth.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Settled the Difficulty.

He had given her the engagement ring
and was telling her fairy stories about
the trouble he had experienced in secur-
ing a pure white, fawless stone when
he saw sad look creep into the eyes but
now fired with joyous mirth and glad
ness.
What is it, my own" he whispered
in her left auricular appendage.
"Oh, Harold, suppose"
Yes, sweetheart"
Suppose we should get lnarried!''
I'VE will, my dearest" he Kissed, with
$40 a week nerve.
And l should lose this ring i'll the
fluff of our velvet carpets?'
For a moment he was dazed. Then
decorative possibility rushed athwart his
prophetic soul, and he said firmly:
eve will have hard wood floors. De
troit Free Press.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
A Drop or Two of Oil.

Many housekeepers know how hard
door latches often work and sometimes
even with impetuous recoil and Earring
sound" a drop or two of sweet oil on
the tip of the forehnger touched to the
face of the latch will Immediately and
effectually cure it. 1t is good practice
to pass around once week to all the
doors and oil the latches. One drop will
completely oil half dozen doors. Small
machines, such as sewing machines in
doors and grass seed sewers out of doors,
are greatly benefited by a single touch of
oil on the fast running parts.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
ABOUT FIREPLACES.
ADORNED WITH CARVED CASTINGS AND
DECORATIVE OVERMANTElS

Hard Wood NTantels and Tiled Fronts When
Money Is Embellishments Contriv-
ances Where Economy Rules-How to
Make an Ornamental Overmantel.
Fireplaces exercise the brains of the
house mistress all the year round. In
summer one is puzzled to know how to
adorn them in some way that shall be
novel as well as pretty, and in winter
one thinks of hangings that will take off
the chilly effect of the grayish white
marble to which we seem doomed in our
drawing rooms. For those who have
plenty of money the adornment of the
fireplace is very simple, for they have
only to get q casing of carved wood,
which solves the whole problem. But
there are many, on the other hand, who
have to study economy in ornamenting
their homes. For this class The House
wife describes and illustrates a method
of decorating the fireplace and contriv-
ing an overmantel all in one. The ex-
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
WaterburyFiTe Alarm
LOCATION OF BONES.


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Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
\ MODERN FIREPLACE.

pense is small, especially to those who
are skillful with their needle. in which
case the brocade may be substituted for
plain satin embroidered by hand. The
idea is particularly adapted to low
rooms.
In the first place, a mantel board is
fixed onto the shelf, and this is of nov
ell shape, the center being the same size
as the shelf beneath, but the sides jut-
ting out in semioctagonal fashion. This
is plainly covered with a piece of bro
cade, and, for example, we will imagine
it to be of buttercup yellow, with lace
design upon it in white. In the middle
it hangs down to a depth of four inches
and is edged with ball fringe to match.
It wants painting, and for such a fire
place as described ivory white enamel,
with a liberal touching up of gold, would
be appropriate. A very thin brass rod
must be fixed just under the shelf, and
from this hangs Il curtain of white cloth,
with a conventional border embroidered
on it III yellows, browns and gold thread.
The ornaments for this mantelpiece
may be pieces of bronze and copper ware,
and if any china We're wanted some queer
foreign glass jars or vases will be APP
propriate.
Where less expensive material is re-
quired, washing linens can be bought in
various colors. and these make excellent
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

hangings. They may be arranged in one
piece, as just described, and in this case
some pretty border may be worked along
them--a trail of brown brambles on the
linen, for instance. But in many rooms
plain slip to go upon the shelf, with
fall in front of IL inches, is all that
is wanted, and here any design might
be worked that ones fancy dictated.
For a gentleman's room a group of
black imps might chase each other over
a piece of dull red linen. For the
dainty bedchamber of young lady
there could be an arrangement of roses
and butterflies on pale blue linen.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

embroidery or fancy gallon. Brown cloth,
with front and sleeves of dull old rose,
makes pretty combination, and mix
ture of petunia and hellotrope is becom-
ing to very fair haired girls. At the back
the epaulet frills form round collar.
and the light portion defines yoke.
The second frock is intended for
child's party or dance. 1t is of pink pom
gee silk, with figured net laid on to form
borders. The bodice is lined only as far
as the waist. and the lining is close fit
ting and the silk fulled on and drawn in
under a ribbon belt.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

Family Physician--I find that your wife
Is in a low state of nervous depression. How
much coffee does she drink every dayS
Patron-Not more than one or two cups.
"Where do you buy itP
"At Sell, Quick & Co. s."
1.-THE place where they give chrome with
every poundS"
"Yes."
That's it. Don't let her see any more Of
the chromos New York Weekly.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
EDUCATIONAL ECHOES.

Attendance at gymnasium is compulsory
at Brown.
A Chicago teacher advertises as "spe-
cialist in mental expansion"
President Eliot CT Harvard college says
that there is scarcely single subject taught
nowadays in the same way it was taught
80 years ago.
Mr.. Frank A Hill has been appointed
secretary of the Massachusetts board of
education. He is described as a broad,
alert and progressive educator who has had
experience in some of the best schools in
the state.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Taking Chances.

On a branch of the Niobrara river, al
most on the state line between Kansas and
Nebraska, came to claim where a man
was building stable of cottonwood poles
and limbs. After we had passed the time
of day he pulled out an old brier root pipe,
scratched match on his leg and lighted
it, and then looked up at me between the
puffs and said:
Stranger, yer a leetle off about my bein
man. I've got on the old mans clothes,
boots and all, but m the Wilder Webster
when I'm in the house"
And where is Mr.. Webster" 1 asked.
dead, of course, or | couldn't be his
wilder. Yes, he gin up the turmoils of
this life six months ago, jest as we took up
this claim He lies on that knoll over
thar and m rurnin bizness alone"
"You've done good bit of work for
woman"
eyes, purity fair, but can't put the
spirit into it l used to"
Health giving out?"
"Oh, no. Health is all right. \ wom-
an who kin lift that yaller mule out thar
can't complain about health"
''lt is only natural that you should feel
lonely, so far from neighbors."
sit isn't nayburs altogether she said
as she yanked open my horses jaws to look
at his teeth and judge his age. "Stran-
ger, might We be lookin fur anythin in per
ticker out this way?"
''Well, yes, am"
"Sunthin purity pertiCklcr."
Eyes, quite particular"
stranger, is that purity pertickler thing
We ar lookin fur out in this kentry a
healthy, hefty wilder, not n day over 40
"a widder with the best claim on this
river and an ambishun to make the grass
hy?"
''Well, you see-you know, u
"Spit it right out, strangerI' she eX-
claimed as she removed the old straw hat
to reveal her face.
"Well, the fact is I'm already linked "
al thought you might be, but decided
to take the chances. Anybody else comm
this way you know OFF,
Eyes, met man in Greenwood yester-
day who said he should take this trail to
go over into Myer county"
"Married or single?'
81 think he's single. and he's a good
looking man too"
~ don't keer fur looks, as everything
goes out in this kentry. That's all,
stranger. Cross the creek to the right of
the tree to avoid the quicksands, and I'll
wash my hands, grease my sunburned
nose and git ready to make a good impress
sion on the next critter that heaves in
sight" M. QUAD.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
The Bamboo Lounge,

A bamboo lounge in winter gives one
cold chills, but it can be transformed in
to thing of beauty with small expense.
Get golden brown or dark red corduroy
and make thick tufted cushions for the
seat and back. They can be made in
sections and tied to the lounge. then have
three or four big downy pillows COW
cred with india silk to scatter over it.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

They had been talking of the different
occupations of men and of men in gen.
eral when the teacher asked the head of
the class if he know what wag was.
Failing to give a satisfactory answer, the
little boy spoke up. Il know, mann"
well, what is wag:' "A happy dogs
tail. man. said the boy promptly
Boston Courier.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
A Handsome Handkerchief.

A simple way of turning plain hand
kerchief into handsome one is to sew
very narrow lace around the equally mar
row hem. The sole requisite is that the
center should be suitably fine and the
trimming of good quality. Then one
has very dainty addition to ones ward
robe There are most unobjectionable
limitations of lace now that might be
levied upon for the purpose.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Postal Item.

Gus de Srnith-What did you do with
that letter that was on my table?
Colored Valet-I tuck it to de pos office.
sab, and put it in de hole.
"Did you not see that there was no ad
dress on the envelope?"
II saw dar was no writin ON de 'velope,
but / lowed yer did dat dar on purpose.
so couldn't tell who yer was writin to.
Tee an dedicated niggah, I is."-Texas
Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04


We always have n stock at
prices that are seldom ecuaIIed,
and never bettered Linene and
Linen Collars and Cuffs of all
kinds. Shirts of all kinds, Sus-
oendcrs, Carl ers NectlWear, Gold
and Plated Buttons, Muffers,
shirt studs, Dress shirts, Under-
Wear, BaIbriGgan Merino, and
all wool OveraIJs and working
Goats and bumpers, for men
and boys, Boys Knee Pants,
short Pants. Office Goats,
Walters Goats, BARRIERS and Bar
tenders Goats, Butchers and
Grocers f=rocks and Aprons,
Hats, Caps, Trunks, Bags, Um-
breiias, &c.
Our honest low cash price to
all, everyone made we come, and
t. Gated equal, Our prices are
not inflated BY loss from q credit
business, and your dollar is recoG-
0jzcd at full Value,
You have only to Give US a trial
and you can prove to yolr entire
satisfaction that we ere the
greatest bargain Divers in New
EnOland
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Barbecued Ham.

Slice cold boiled ham and fry in its
pwn fat. Remove the slices into anoth-
r dish and keep hot while there is added
the fat teaspoonful of white sugar,
little pepper and second teaspconful
# made mustard and three tablespoon
uls of vinegar. Let this boil up once
nd pour over the ham. Serve hot.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Neal Dow Never Suffered So.

Yabsley-It must be delightful sen.
sation to be possessed of more money
than you know what to do with.
Mudge-H'm! have been in that fix
myself. 1t was out in Iowa, where had
to wait four hours for a train and
couldn't buy drink to save my neck
Indianapolis Journal.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Closely Allied.

Barker (musing)-There's very little diff
ference.
Foster-What's thatf
Barker-Oh, was wondering what diff
ference there was between son Of toll and
Q ton of soil.-Truth.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
A Slight Brush.

"That handsome young lady over there
by the piano." said Banks, ''is the daugh-
ter of a wealthy bill poster, but she
doesn't seem to be at all stuck up"
"No," said Rivers, "but that is prob
ably because her diamonds are not paste"
Chicago Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Pretty Crooks For Girls.

Here are two unusually pretty gowns
for girls. The first can be made of any
of the new spring wool fabrics, the front
and sleeves being of crepon in a lighter
or brighter shade, with trimmings of
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Either VIII Do,

$50 you are determined on a journey to
the north polef"
II am"
Going out with the next expeditionf"
''No; shall go out with the party that is
to rescue the next expedition. New York
Press
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Awakins to the Grim Reality.

Mr.. Saphead during the honeymoon)-
When did my little duckie darling first
discover that she loved me?
Bride (sweetly)-When found myself
getting angry every time any one called
YOU a fool.-Tit-Bits.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Recipe For Hamburg Steak.

Chop round steak fine and season with
salt; make into patties; brush with white
of an egg; fry in butter in spider. At
the meat market you can often get the
steak already chopped.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
What the insignificant Ant Can Do.

The land boa of Brazil which ranges in
length from % to IS feet, is said by nat
uralist to have but one enemy apart from
man, and that, curiously, one of the most
insignificant of insects, the ant. a certain
species, peculiar to northern Brazil, make
annual pilgrimages from their jungle re
treats to some other point, often distant
many miles, and destroy every living crea-
ture that stays in their track, except man
and domestic animals or cattle. The mon
key or the jaguar knows enough to flee be-
fore the invading host, but the snake does
not appear to realize his danger until at
tackled by millions of his tiny but persist
ent foes. Twistings and writings are alike
in vain to shake them off, and the passing
traveller may often see the bleached skele-
ton of huge snake, which had been thus
literally devoured alive. The ants are of
course considerably larger than our varie-
ties, but seem puny enemies to successfully
demolish reptile monarch of the jungle.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

Cost me 3 cents, but you needn't wor
ry about that, You orter keep 'em with
you right along. Lost my wife two years
ago and went to sucking lemons, and I'll
be hanged if l didn't forget all about my
calamitous loss and pitch a game of
quoits within two weeks. Try dozen
or two, and I'll bet an acre of garden
sass agin a straw hat you'll be huntin for
No. within six months. Detroit Free
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
A Fortune.

Oldun-As poor as you are and going to
marryS
Yungun-That's what.
Oldun-Has your wife anything'
Yungun-No, but she will have.
Oldun-What?
Yungun (proudly)-Me.-Det Free
Press
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
Plenty Of Lecway For the Unpunctua

A genuine sign in Market street res
taurant, Philadelphia, "Six o'clock din.
ner here from $50 to 7:30."-Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
@4AA AM
He Had to Go,

P. 81 weigh now 2O3 pounds and
look like brownie. B. N.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

Just watch the man who knows it all"
And his expression panied
When his small boy comes forth with things
He'd like to have explained.
Washington Star.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04

a21 7sss Landry Cheek is d
1o-tsrs T.cHst. Capital Prize,
Ls0CCSy
Ss7s.S.s Pop { DO not buy
lgttsry Tr-<sts. Neither do
.7ey oatro7.za = Chinese Laun-
5~y
Have your WORK done BY the
Waterbury Steam Landry, " S,5 ;@@.
Avoid all Risks.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
REPUDIATED BY NYE.
HE GIVES THE PRINCESS ANGELINA
NOTICE TO QUIT.

and His Lrtters-A Speech by the Hon.
Mackenzie Bowel Riding Over the C.,
&. /. and :. Road-Sye - "a Es"wnie.
Copyright, 1874. by Edgar ". EleI
IN VILE. SIC TRANSIT.
DANIEL DURoNDA. March. 1924
E,-fo-e beEinuin-, this letter let me
hy announce That my alliance with
p Princess Angelina, eldest daughter of
king Seattle. emperor of Puget sound
and duke of Puyallup. has been broken
Of.
This is naturally private matter. but
80 many conflicting reports are abroad
il that am compelled to give
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-04-04
The Meeting of the Waters.

The man sitting next to him noticed
that the baldheaded person with the red
necktie was getting decidedly nervous.
Presently, in the middle of magnif-
cent quintet, the baldheaded man turned
round and said:
'Say!'
"Well?" was the reply, accompanied
by hardly concealed frown. A lover
Of opera hates interruption as satan loves
good
"What kind of show is this any
way
This? Why this is The singing
was so beautiful just then that he stop
ped and whispered: "Hush! Sh.''
The other went on:
"Ain't there no comic song coming
along presently"
For answer there was Il shake of the
head.
Nobody get into Il sawmill and es-
cape by the skin of his teeth
"No"
mo horse race
"No."
when does the song and dance act
come on: Say, amt there any laughs in
this thing anywhere? Gee, but reckon
I struck the wrong gate altogether!
come in town today and asked Teller
what was the best show in town, and he
told me this was it. And I've been sit
ting here an hour, and they amt done Il
thing but shout and weep and run
around like beetles trying to turn right
side up. 'Tain't like any show ever
seen! Whatever is it anyway"
But the other man had moved away to
where he could hear the music without
interruption. The baldheaded man hail
ed an usher.
"Any amazons' march i'll thiS:" he
asked.
The usher shook his head.
ANY Midway plaisance dancing:"
No"
well, then, blame the luck said the
baldheaded man, reaching for his hat, 81
guess I'm sucker!'-Chicago Tribune.