Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-07-12
The Merry Side Of life.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN. OF TIE PRESS.

he's engaged to her.
Your time has come. 'grlmly remark
ed the jewelers. errand boy, as lie
delivered clock at a. customers, resi-;
dence.
This is the time of year wien the good
little boy comes home and explains to
his mother that his wet hair is due to
persplration.
They say that money is drug in the
market.
Yes, but the trouqle is one has to
have prescription In order to get IT..
Rest and change are good for people,
said the wife. as she rose in the night to
rifle her husbands pockets. 'I'ye had
a rest. and now l think I'll have a
little change
Inquirer-Do you think any person
is eyer buried alive?
Physician-I should say not. There
Is no danger Of such thing if. a. reg
ular physician is in attendance.
We are told that a cross eyed boy re.
Gently fell 100 feet and was not only
uninjpred, but his eyes were straight
ened. 1t is not likely, however, that
this cure for crossed eyes will he gen.
orally tried.
New Mlnister-Did you notice that
any of the members Of the congregation
were moved by my sermon?
Yes. once when you raised your
voice Deacon Smith nearly fell out of
his seat, he was awakened so suddenly.
WHICH WAS WORSE.
Papa had q tooth pulled yesterday
proudly exclaimed the little girl to her
next door neighbor.
That amt nothing, came the reply,
and triumphant light shown from her
eyes; 4 heard my papa say he had his
leg pulled the day before.
Most always in pane-glass.
Contentment is better than money,
and Just about as scarce.
Sticks to his bargain-the man who
buys porous plaster.
Some men and the wind are alike,
neither are noticed unless they blow.
Teacher-Fritz, name the beast that
supplies US with ham,
Frltz-The butcher.
"Them's my sediments" said the
hydrant water as it went through the
filter and came out on the other side.
II hope make myself clear
D,ck-What made you laugh, when
you was being whipped?
Ned-'Cause mamma says it always
hurt her when she whipped me.
A small boy who had been vaccinated
was baptized. As soon as the minister
stopped sprlnkling water on his head.
the little fellow looked up and said ::
DO you think it will take?
Little Fife (who has stroked the
kitten until she began to purr)-Maud,
do you hear that?
Sister Maud-Hear what, EAie
Efie-Why, I do believe kitty ls
boiling.
Mamma-And how did my little pet
get to sleep last night without mamma !?
Little pet-Papa tried to sing to me
like you do an l hurried up an went
to sleep SOS not to hear it.
New Mlnister-Did you notice that
any of the members OF the congregation
were moved by my sermon?
Yes, once when you raised your voice
Deacon Smith nearly fell out of his seat
be was awakened so suddenly.
Father how are you progressing with
Miss Du Katz? Has she caught Your
heart yet in her golden chains?
SOM think she is trying to. 1
heard her say last night that / was the
missing link.
A Song Of Three P's.
Let me sing you song of three P's,
That for work are as busy as bees;
They ensure you, what's worth more
than wealth,
A most blessed abundance Of health
The liver they ipyigorate,
Add yet they do not salivats,
The Bilious and dyspeptic, too,
They quickly make to feel like new;
And piles and constipation 60
Before this remedy you know.
But | will stop for You have probably
guessed what / am driving at. Who
does not know that DR.. Pierce's Pleas
ant Pellets cure all the complaints
| roapt;opod and manv more. Small sure