Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-06-02

g n.y. SSXM nothing better to do,
n >M,v IA XM commonly m u
NV WYNN themselves with writ
,EAi'NAEt ing letters to the gov
SS<A .EES eminent Every one
of the departments
---~ here receives great
numbers of communi-
cations from cranks of all sorts, most of
whom. however, are not under restraint.
Many of them are the wild chickering's of
hopeless lunacy-nearly always religious
lpnacy-while some are exceedingly anus
ing.
There is one man who wants the Depart
ment of Agriculture to establish what he
calls a religious garden His plan is that
trees. shrubs, etc, shall be obtained from
the Holy Land for reproducing in this coun-
try the garden of Eden. Incidentally, the
suitability of American soil and climate for
the plants of dawning creation will be
demonstrated. Plants possessing sig
niiicance in connection with Bible history
such as the olive, the palm and the cedar of
Lebanon-would be included. of course. The
plan pays no attention TO the scientific be-
lief that the vegetation of the Garden of
Eden could not have been comparable to
that of the present day, the evolution of
plants toward beauty and perfection having
been steadily progressing since the begin
ming.
A note of alarm is sounded by a New
York crank, who writes:
The extent to which the nation is using
electricity is most seriously affecting the
atmosphere and, consequently, the weather
and climate, and, consequently again, both
animal and vegetable life. The grip was
Cnquestionably caused by the action of
artificial electricity upon the oxygen of the
air. The use of electricity has thus ruined
the health of millions, sent tens of thou
int limo
loss by fire, storm and flood of hundreds of
millions of dollars worth of property. and.
without one word of protest from the press
or government is still permitted to con-
tinue its DEVILS? work of death and deStruc-
ton"
To Prevent the Earth's Destruction.
Another lunat.c gives notice OF the ap-
preaching destruction of the earth by
comet. He wants a government board APP
pointed to hear his plans for escaping from
the danger. In his last letter on the SUBJ
ject he says:
when see the lives of all men and ami
mails in peril, while you seem caflous to
my appeal for your own preservation, l as
sure you it is not pleasant"
a man in the state of Washington
wrote to Secretary Morton the other day,
saying that he had lost his wife and was
very lonely. He wanted the Secretary to
pick out for him likely woman and
send her along. He stated that ne had
written to the department and got some
books. and they were good. On another oc-
casion he wrote for seeds, and, though his
beighbors told him that they would not
amount to anything, they turned out all
right So he thought that he would be like
ly to do equally well in ordering a wife
from the department.
Not long ago a lady In the same depart
ment received a proposal of marriage from
a man in Iowa He had seen her picture
and a brief sketch of her life In the Ladies'
Homo haI ST tbot
the portrait resembled his late wife. He ad-
dressed letter to the original, Offering to
her carriage, three horses, a house, two
barns and his heart. The lady, who is the
widow of a confederate general replied in
the negative. She told him that She had
four grandchildren, and suggested that he
would do better to select a younger woman
for a mate. Nevertheless, he wrote again
asking her to reconsider her decision
The Department of Agriculture put up
and distributed G,OO00O0 packages Of seeds
last year. 1t is impossible that few mis-
takes should not be made in the execution
of SO enormous labor. So now and then
Ii happens that a person gets seeds that are
wrongly labeled, and when they come up
he writes angry letters to Washington.
There is some excuse for disgust when n
man has planted his lawn with clover and
finds 1t coming up turnips and radishes.
That most destructive weed the Russian
thistle, has been much abused of late. New
erthelesS, II is said that sheep will feed on
it. Hearing this, man i'll Oregon writes
to ask for some seeds of the plant. If as
alleged. it will grow anywhere and will
afford material for mutton, he wants it.
Furthermore. he suggests that an expert
ment station might be established for the
cultivation and improvement of the thistle.
People are constantly making absurd re-
quests. Farmers often write to ask that
their blowing shall be done for them or
their wheat fields weeded They consider
that the government is rich and ought to
help poor folks. One man applied the other
day for loan of agricultural implements.
which he could not afford to buy. Another
requested the gift of a dictionary and a
Bible. An individual with a grievance
wrote: please hand this to Uncle Sam
and see that he attends to it." From the
phrases he employed Ii was evident that
he thought that Uncle Sam was an actual
parsonage. Replies are made to the most
nonsensical missives so long as an answer
is not likely to encourage indefinite CORE
spondence.
Imaginary Claims.
Ever so many people imagine that the
government owes them immense sums of
money. One man has a claim for $500 OOO,-
600 Every now and then he sends In a de-
mand for payment on a postal card, stat
ing that he cannot give any longer credit
There is a man who gives himself the title
of universal peace commissioner. His bust
ness is to maintain peace among the ma
tons by acting as general arbitrator. His
salary OF Si,0OO year is far in arrears,
and he duns the President for it at regu-
lar intervals. Another person offers to
teach the government how to turn silver
into gold. Such a process would be so ex-
tremely desirable at the present time that
Uncle Sam would not begrudge the $1,000
600 demanded for the secret of it. If only
any faith were had of its practicability
An ingenious citizen of Louisiana has
conveyed a suggestion to the effect that
4-cent pieces shall be coined, to take the
place of Hickels. By this means the price
of pretty nearly everything that now sells
for a nickel would be reduced to cents
The workingman would pay a cent less
for car fare, for loaf of bread for n
schooner of beer what not. Another
scheme offered is that siIved dollars shall
be made to contain small discs of gold
rendering them smaller and more conve-
nient to carry. There are human sharks
who obtain money from poor immigrants
by Dalming off upon them worthless adj
vertising scrip and other stuff. The victims
often write to the treasury asking for
reimbursement Some of their letters are
very pathetic.
Newly appointed postmasters frequently
write to ask for photographs of the Post
master General. They say that they want
them to hang up alongside of portraits of
Washington and Lincoln. An applicant for
postmastership recently sent a photo
graph of his wife himself and ten children.
He explained that he thought his contribu-
ton to the population deserved recognition
f..r,0 ., l.