Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-08-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Money talks-in all languages
Truth.
A receiving teller-The scandal
bearer. Truth.
Fame is SUI ely bubble; for plenty
of "soap" will make it.-Puck.
There is little wolf and little
rabbit in every man. n.-Atchison Globe.
In the grammar of femininity two
negatives make two alternatives. -
Puck
Most men and their stomachs don't
understand each other. = Atchison
Globe.
Let us be frank, and admit that we
are all somewhat gossipy. -Atchison
Globe.
The fut man is an example of those
who have greatness thrust upon them.
Truth.
The difficulty in chasing men lies in
getting them started to run. .-Atchi-
son Globe.
Tolerance is the admission of the
right of other people to hold wrong
views Puck
There is no success SO sweet as tho
success achieved by acting against the
advice of our friends. Puck.
"And do you think Binks can fill
the requirements of the place." "M-
IN, well-if it requires Binks, he cam"
Puck.
No man will ever amount to much
who labors under the impression that
somebody else is always in his way. -
Dallas News.
"Does your wife put up all her can
stuff herself?" Certainly. Self-pres-
ervation is the first law of nature. -
Boston Transcript.
Priscilla-''I want to get gown to
match my complexion" Perdita--
"Why don't you get Ahand-painted
one ?"-Brooklyn LI',. A.
He who thinks that Imagination is
solely an attribute of youth should
chat while with one of our Coolest
inhabitants. Truth.
Caller-"You son graduated from
college this year, did he not% Mrs.
Malaprop-"Yes; he was valetudinari-
sn of his class. Puck.
There are times when the man who
thinks he fills the public eye merely
occupies the position of speck of
dust. Milwaukee Journal
Training will do much for man;
but it will not teach him never to
neglect to look for the towel before
he fills his eyes full of soap.-Puck.
According to Kipling, the elephant
is gentleman. Nonsense! VINO ever
heard of n gentleman carrying his
trunk himself? Boston Transcript.
The world no doubt owes q great
many people a living; but the records
do not show that it ever has assigned
for the benefit of its creditors, Puck.
Though woman, lovely woman
Sometimes fails 10 have her way,
You can bet your bottom dollar
That she IL always have her say.
-lndianapolis Journal.
A ten-cent box of backing, proper
ly applied, will command more re-
srect than n hundred dollar diamond
and rusty footwear on man who Is
seeking work. Washington Star.
"There is more pleasure in giving
than receiving" was the proverb that
n mother was trying to instill into
youthful mind. chats true about
castor oil, mother" was the answer
she got. New York Advertiser.
1t has Eeen said that there is some
thing not unpleasing to us IN the mis-
fortunes of our friends. While most
likely this is true, yet pleasure, at the
misfortunes of orr enemies, is still do
inc business Mt the old stand. Puck.
Naughty Lady (who has just pur.
chased stamp -"Must [ put it ON
mvsclf?" Postoflice Assistant very
politely necessarily, ma'am;
it will probably accomplish more If
Won nut il on the letter. Newark Led
ger
He-'I had queer dream about
you last night, Miss Louisa | was
about to give yon a kiss, when sud
denly we were separated by river
that gradually grew as big as the
Rhine" She--'And was there no
bridge or no boat ?''-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
GLOW many feet ought | to have to
the line for this poem?" asked the
Young man, as he sauntered careless
ly into the editors office. II hardly
know" wearily replied the gloomy
MAJ, of ebaors Hhut If I had n tuou-
sand 1 would gladly give tnem to
you. Atlanta Constitution.