The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-05-17

asleep and awoke to find the detected
pianist laundering out: There is nae
luck about the house; there is nae luck
at ALL"
1 looked at my watch. Five min
utes to o, and I was still the oldest in
habitant. There was to be nae luck
that night; that was certain. The plan
list disappeared behind the curtain I
sat stoIidly on. 1 was there to report
that show, and report it I was deter
mined to, whatever happened. Every
thing happens to him who waits
This happened to me. Professor Beda,
IN shabby suit of evening clothes. look
ing as though they were suffering from
a long course of being let out on hire,
I came before the curtain. and addressing
the audience said, Sir" The novelty
of the exordium aroused my attention,
and looking at the professor closely ]
recognized him. Professor Beda, the
premier tight rope dancer of the world
and champion prestidigitator of the
universe, was no other than Harry Beck
er, who had been private in my COM
/ pany of Forest rangers during the war.
/ Sir" said he, II am sorry to see 30
small an attendance here this evening.
However, it is my boast that never
disappoint the public, and though am
afraid the proceeds of the evenings en-
tertainment will barely pay expenses,
nevertheless with your kind permission
the performance will now proceed"
| And it did proceed. AS gravely and
cheerily as though the hall had been
crammed to suffocation the professor
went through his entertainment. He
| hOr yaG {o1, Ia -,
a mortar; he begged the loan of half
crown-it was all had in the world,
but trusted him with it-he spirited
my pocket handkerchief into the center
of candle and performed number of
other tricks with ease and dexterity.
All his little jokes and funniments, all
the antics of his assistant-Sprightly he
was called in the programme-were
punctually gone through, and a very
| fair show it was-for the colonies.
| When he came to ''This concludes the
| first portion of the entertainment. There
will be an intermission of 10 minutes"
/ could stand it no longer. The melan-
choly pianist was announced to sing a
comic song, which perhaps precipitated
my decision. l asked him to tell Pro-
fessor Beda that the audience would be
glad to speak to him for minute or
two. / ''went round"
Il am glad to see you, SIR" said the
professor. pray be seated. May
offer you little whisky and water?
You are a gentleman of the press,
sir, understand.
Yes. 1 represented The Post and was
there to do his show.
IT thought, sir, would give you
specimen of what can do, and if you'd
like it am quite prepared to go through
the whole entertainment. -
explained that there was no occa-
sion for that, because could write
about it quite as well without seeing it
perhaps better. If gentlemen of
the press" were to confine themselves
to what they see, the business would
soon go to the dogs.
We had some whisky and water, and
the professor began to talk less formally.
swell, sir, they told me down south
Alexander was one of the best pitches
in the profession. 1t doesn't look much |
like it. Seems to me about the one |
horsedest place ever / was in, except |
Naipaw, and that ain even one dom |
key place. Not soul in the house but |
you, sir, and this here blessed show has |
cost me out of pocket e5 10. Paid in |
advance too. A couple O. pound for |
the hall and the lights, a pound for the |
pianner, couple O. pound for fixing up |
the rope and 10 bob for a money taker.
Think of that, sir! Ain it hard2 Amt |
it cruel? Ten bob for a money takerp'
That did seem hard indeed, but ex- /
planned that / thought that shows usual
ly took especial care to have money
taker of their own for obvious reasons.
80 they do. sir, and SO do /. My wife
takes the money always-always has
done ever since took to the business.
but my luck 8 dead out. She's up at Brit
ten's-you know, sir, the hotel-in bed
with a smashed foot. Some clumsy fool
on the Star of the South as we were
coming here from tho south let's great
packing case right on her foot and
smashes her. The doctor says she'll be
fortnight or better. Ten bob for a
money takeri If it amt the cruelest
thing as ever I hear! And then the
rain! Did anybody ever see it rain like
it? It's been a-coming down, down,
down like this for three blessed days.
Not a soul in the house. Ten bob for
money takeri Help yourself, sir.
I suggested that he might have better
luck the next night and corroborated
the opinion he had heard down south
that Alexander was an excellent place
as rule for performances of all kinds.
mo, sir. The luck's out, and I'm
about broke, that's what / am, and /
amt got the money. There's the hall,
they will have it in advance; there's the
pianner, they wants that in advance,
and there's the advertisements not
line they'll give me till I've paid for to-
days ads, nor line, not The Post, ner
The Independent, nor none of 'em. 'Ad-
vance New Zealand That's their mot
TO, is it? Pay in advance it ought to be.
Ten bob for money taker!'
Then brilliant idea occurred to me.
Tha professor was stona broke So |