The Opelousas courier., 1894-06-02
THE LIN EkILN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Enliehtens the Club
on the Essentials of Sacred His

tory.
eff Bruddcr Comcalong Jackson
an Brudder Standup Johnson am in
de hall tonight | wish 'em to step dis
way" said Brother Gardner when the
routine business OF the last meeting
of the LimekiIn Club had been dis
posed Of.
The brothers named were present
and after considerable hesitation they
arose and advanced to the pIatform.
It was seer that Comealong had lately
lost three front teeth and that stand
No had one eye closed and Il battered
nose.
''Gem'len," observed the president
as he looked down on them with a
very sf,ious countcnancc, 'by-law
No. 7Eof article 321 plainly reads dat
members of dis club shall not ingage.
in rcligus or political arguments or
discushuns. About cherry three
months for de last five vars I have
called speshuaI attcnSiun ITO dat by
law. On three different occashuns
members hav bin expelled fur brcakin'
dat rule. In spite Of all dat has bin
said an dun, hoWeber, dctWO members
befo' me hcv bin guilty not only Of
breakin' de rule, but OF tryin> to
break each others heads. Brudder
Jackson, what yo' got to say fur
yo'self?"
Il said dat Eve had red ha'r, sab"
'Brudder Johnson, what yo' got to
say?'
Il said she didn't hev."
can dat prccipitated a mortal COM
bat?'
yes, sah.'
s'Befo' de mortal combat was pre-
cipitated, howeber, boat Of yo' called
| each other liars, and boss thieves,
an robbers?'
The guilty pair bowed their heads
in acknowledgment.
"Brudder Jackson, did yo' eber see
Eve?'
"No, sah.'
Odd yo', Brudder J~ohnson?'
"No, sah.'
"kin either one o yo' pint me to
any description given to color o her
harp
They mumblingly acknowledged
their inability to do so.
Now, yo' h'arken to me-" ex-
claimed the president, as he drew
himself up and emphasized his words
| with extended arm. DE verdict am
| dat boat of yo' be bounced out O
| dis club fo'with-right otf-widin a
| minit-an' dat under no sarcum-
| stances will yo' be restored to MEM
| bership. I'Ze gwine to put a stop to
| dis sort of bizness if | hev to bounce
| cherry member O de Limekiln Club
an run Paradise Hall all alone! De
idea of two ole gray-headed niggers
| wastin' DER breaf ober de color OF de
| ha'r of a M who libed thousands
of vars ago. Who knows whether
her ha'r was red, black, white or pea
green? Who keers? How YOU gwine
to find out if yo' do keer?"
please, sah"-began BrotherJac
| son as he looked up.
s'Silence,'' thundered the presi-
dent. Muffin yo' kin say will change
my decishun! l want all members
of dis club to thoroughly understand
| de posishun of affairs befo' we drop
dis subiick. Oar was an Adam an an
| Eve. Dey resided in de Ga'den of
Eden. Eve tempted Adam, an dey
had to move. OATS plenty; OATS
all we want to know. We doan' keer
2 cents how tall dey war, how much
dey weighed, or what was de size Of
DER feet.
sDar was a flood. Noah built an
ark an fioated aroun' an was saved.
We choke off right dar. We doan'
| keer whether he was married or single
white or black-tall or short. We
| doan' keer whether it rained fo'ty
| DAYS or only thirty-nine an a half.
'Cain killed his brudder Abel wild
| club. It's none o our bizness to ak
| whether dot club was OF oak or hick-
ory-whether de KILN took place
| Sunday mornin' or Wednesday even
in. We doan' keer whether it was
| outdoahs or in de house.
"Dan'l was cast into den ofiions-
mebbe six. Mebbe dem lions was
hungry-mebbe not. Dey didn't
want no fuss wild Dan'l. Why dey
| Ql0n { am n0ne o our DlSlileSS. AL
we keer for am dat Dan'l got out all
right.
Jonah was swallered by a whale
an cast up agin. Was it a small
whale or a big one? Was he black or
white? Was he waitin' dar to swal-
Ter Jonah, or did he just happen
long at de right mint? None o u
biziness! All we keer fur is dat he
was cast out agin.
"Dis am whar I stand, gem'len,
an wharI shall continer to stand, an
such as can't stand wild me kin take q
walk! Brudders Jackson and john
son, yo' kin make yo'selyes skass!
Git out an stay out! Yo' can't come
yere no mo-! If, in gwine down de
alley together, one of you declares
dat Job had chilblains stead Of biles,
an de odder calls him a liar an gifts
up a fight, it won't be muffin to dis
club and nobody will interfere. we
will now blow out de lamps and prog
nosticate homewards." [Chicago
Times.