Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1894-03-07
1T WAS A SUCCESS. " :
After They Fled to Escape the Tar and
: Feathers. -

Feathers. 90.
he was OF q roaming disposition,
and always had some scheme on hand.
This is his recital of his latest:
eve were near wealth that time
for had another fellow with me in
this scheme. 1t looked like bonan-
"a for a time-about a week. We
located in small town up in Illinois
and took adjoining Offices. Then he
hung out a sign: Fat People Re-
duced.' while displayed on my door
In large-sized letters a glowing
promise to those whom nature had
neglected in the way of flesh. Nobody
knew we were partners. We had q
number of circulars printed and en-
gagged a small army of small boys to
distribute them. The populace was
informed the millennium had arrived
SO Tar as very fat and very lean peo-
pie were concerned. We would put
new flesh on old bones or would pro-
duce sylph-like proportions in any
one with a girth measurement less
than that OF q hogshead. And all
this was to be done instantaneously;
no long weeks of waiting nor any
necessity for a tiresome course OF
treatment. All that was necessary
was one dose of our medicine and one
shock from our battery.
"Well, the thing took, and for a
week we had all we could do Now
here Is how we worked it: We had
adjoining offices, as l said, and these
offlces were connected by a door.
The fat people entered his door. were
treated, ana passed out my door.
My patients made their exit through
his room. There you have stream
of fat people passing out the same
door. Screens were so arranged
that they could not see each other.
Wonderful? OF course it was.
and so 1T seemed to the populace for
a time. But we had foolishly Sc
lected too small town; nearly every
body knew everybody else We had
fixed the medicine so that it made
the patient sick. II it hadn't been
for this think we would have been
mobbed the first or second day. oaiu
''As it was, we took in a goodiv
pile of cash, but in an attempt TO
strengthen our bluff we made another
mistake. We deposited the bulk, of
our money in the local bank. Well.
toward the latter part of the week
our first victims began to get we'll,
and, finding that their physical
proportions remained the same, there
began to be talk of running us out
OF town, If of nothing worse. We
should have taken the hint, but the
graft had been good one and we
hated to leave it until it was worked
dry.
"BIt one night things came to a
focus. We had one friend-the
Office boy, who had done duty for
both of us. We had found it neces-
sary to take him into our confidence,
and he had not betrayed it. He
came to our lodging-house about z
o'clock on this evening, and he was
scared. lie had heard q crowd of
men mixing our names up Familiarity
with lynching, tar and feathers and
that sort of unpleasant things.
These threats might not have been
carried out, but we did not wait to
see what the issue would be. We
went right away from there. And
the worst of it was that all our hard
earned money was in the bank. It
may be there yet for all know. I
have never gone back to find out"
That was pretty tough" 1 re-.
marked, ympathizingly, as he
paused to light his cigar.
"Yes, it was tough on US, but not
on them. The blamed stuff worked
after all"
Actually did what you adver-
tised?"
"Damme if it didn't! You see ono
of those lean mon had a great sense
of humor When he got over being
mad he began to see a funny side to
the thing. He was a man of much
influence and soon had all the lean
men lined up with him. They held
"a council and concluded to clear
themselves by calling it a joke on
the fat men,"
"Well, sir, those lean men laughed
SO much that they became fat, and
worried the fat men so much that
they became thin"