People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1894-04-13
The OLD SQUIRE.
Was All Right rs q Politician. But he
Couldn't Outbutt q Billy Goat.


Couldn't Outbutt q Billy Goat.
Back in the sixties old Squire
Leatherland was a prominent man"
in Perry county. Indiana He was
an odd character too-Just such a
one as can only be found among the
hills and bluffs that frown upon the
pleasant waters OF the Ohio river.
Old man Leatherland owned a
small farm secreted somewhere in
the recesses Of those bluffs.
Finally old man Leatherland grew
tired OF doing nothing but raising
peachblow potatoes and scrawny cab
bages, picking blackberries from the
wild bushes, hunting foxes in the
hills and voting straight for Democ-
racy--he had political aspirations
he wanted to be elected justice of
the peace.
Election day came. and old
Leatherland, who had been placed
on the Democratic ticket, was up
with the sun and of to the polls at
the crossroads, says the St Louis
Republic. Late at night he returned
home flushed with victory and bibp-
lous hilarity. Rushing in at tina
door. he clasped his good housewife
in his arms and exclaimed:
"Ole woman, I've been made
squiar, b'gosh. Doc Strong run agin
me, but he was showed under s'deep
tibet he feels ornier than a yaller
dog. Whoopee! I'm squair, / am
= As old Leatherland continued hug
ging his wife the children yelled out
in unison; YES, pap, we're all
squires."
The wife now broke away from the
embrace OF her husband and re-
torted: mo, you're not all souiars.
you dang fool children. Nobody's
squiar but me and pap
The days few by and Squire
Leatherland was considered BY the
citizens Of the township to be a Sir
Oracle from whose lips fell only
words Of wisdom.
But the serenity OF Old Squire
Netherlands life was broken when
he bought a billy goat one day.
This goat would butt ANYTHING from
a stone wall to the lover that called
on Samantha Ann, the sources
daughter Finally, this goat made
himself too promiscuous, and old
Squire Leatherland concluded to
"call him down" He went about it
in an odd way. The squire placed a
big cast-iron pot over his own head,
with the bail under his chin, much
after the fashion of a Columbian
guards headgear. 1t was a snug
fit. Then the old squire placed him
self on all fours in the barn lot,
bowed his neck and cavorted around
to attract the attention of the billy
goat The goat was ready for the
Tray, and also bowed his neck, stiff
ened his legs and bounded toward
the old squire. }
Bah! Beh-eh-ehr' and the billy
goat delivered one of his most
scientific butts
Old Squire Leatherland went
through the air IN two somersaalts
and landed in fence corner with the
old cast iron :pot driven down.the
his head so tightly that he could
not remove it No part OF his face
could be seen except that those gray
galway whiskers were sticking out
ward from beneath the pot He
tried to call for help, but his voice
sounded feebly from the inside Of
the pot And the billy goat con-
tinued butting his PROSTATE foe
Fortunately one OF the old squire's
sons came out, and. seeing the
predicament Of his father, made the
goat retreat by using a billet Of
wood When the pot was broken
and the pieces removed from the old
squire's head, and the blood was
streaming from his face, he looked
about him in a dazed sort OF way and
remarked:
"Goldarn Ill l en- outrun any livin'
man for iestice Nv the peace, bat /
CANT outbutt that billy goat, even
when I've got the old woman's soup
not IN NV haad