The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-01-25
THE BLUES CURE.
What the Great Golden Remedy
Did for the Patients.

There was Water cure, Rest cu,e,
and Mind cure in the same town; but
all three together did not do half the
business of the Blues cure. In fact,
those three establishments complained
bitterly that the Blues cure took away
many Of their patients They did all
they could to crush it out; they de-
clared it to be a humbug, q mere quack
concern, with its mysterious ''Great
Golden Remedy"
In truth, there was a mystery con-
nected with the Blues cure 1t was in
one respect something like the Loisette
Memory system, for every patient had
to sign bond that he would never re-
veal to anyone the secret of the "Great
Golden Remedy" But, in spite of this,
and the enmity of the other establish
ments, the Blues cure prospered ex-
traordinarily, and people thronged to
it from far and near. The Blues cure
could proudly affirm that in all its ca
reer case had never been lost.
The Blues cure office was q small,
sunshiny room opening from large,
cheerful waiting room.
One fine October afternoon the clock
was just striking three as the doctor,
accompanied by a patient. entered the
Office and closed the door behind him.
The doctor was a jolly little man
with a bald head, and a beaming smile
so much like sunshine that on rainy
days his great black cat would stretch
herself out before him, as though she
We're really warming herself in its
beams.
The patient was tall, thin theo-
logue, with lugubrious expression of
countenance, suitable for chronic at
tender of funerals
The doctors style was lacunic
whats the matter?" said he
81 am subject to depression of
spirits" replied the theologue, with
deep sigh that reused the black cat
from its slumbers.
when do these attacks come on?''
said the doctor, looking at him with
half closed eyes, as an artist surveys
picture.
Every evening"" replied the theo-
logue. II can't use my eyes then, and
/ fall to thinking of my theological
questions, aud l get extremely down
in my spirits.
w udG hluIi VI 4ucSIlOuSI
''Oh, the most importa Mt and inter-
esting which can stir mans mind"
said the theologue, with such unwonted
animation that the black cat again
was startled. whether Moses wrote
the Pentateuch; whether the Levitical
code came in with Ezra or before; the
doctrines of original sin, future pro-
baton, and many others. am so up
set in my old ideas (for / was taught
from my youth up that it was wicked
to question anything about such mat
ters) that get terribly blue"
''Oh, hor said the doctor, jumping
up and fetching little gilt box from a
table. 81 see what you need! You
must drop your studies for time and
devote yourself to taking this great
as if your life depended ON it and you'll
be cured of the blues"
rs that alp" said the theologue, in
astonishment.
You'll find it enough!' replied the
doctor, as he showed him the door.
''Next!" he called through the ante
room door, much as lecturer directs
his assistant to throw the next picture
on the screen.
In came a young woman of perhaps
seven and twenty, attired according to
the latest fashion.
'Oh, doctor, how can get over the
blues?" she asked, in the jerky,
chopped-off, broad-A style of enuncia-
tion SO fashionable among feminine
dudes
what gives them to you?" said the
doctor. looking at her with magnify
ing glass, as if to see to what genus she
belonged.
':My looking glass;" frankly an
swered the young woman. st shows
me that I'm getting palmer every day.
I've got three gray hairs and one crows
foot"
"Well, what of thatP" asked the doc
tor.
"What of that?" repeated the pa
tient. ''It shows Pm growing old, and
that's enough to make any body blue.
There are lots of buds coming out ev-
cry year in society, and I'm getting to
be one of the old girls. just hate to
be an old girl and be laid on the shelf!
had an odious time at my last ball,
and life isn't worth living, and I'm sick
of It'll"
''Humph!" said the doctor "Well
cure you, if you will obey me implicit
ly. ''You must follow this prescription
faithfully. Take this Great Golden
Remedy whenever you feel the symp-
toms coming on, and you won't have a
single blue"
So saying he handed her little gilt
box like the one he gave the theologue,
and she too passed into the street.
Next came widow buried in crepe
swell, Mrs. Relict, / suppose you've
come to report?" said the doctor.
YES" replied the widow. 1.-THE
Golden Remedy has worked wonders
with me. l thought it would be SO
easy. but found it very hard to swal-
low at first persevered and it has
done me an enormous amount of good
I've slept and eaten as l haven't since
Johns DEATH"