The Penn's Grove record., 1894-01-26

A jury trial--Listening to the law
yers.
Other garments influence q woman,
but 1t Is her hat that dominates her.
Puck.
A Fearful Fate: Van Demitt--"So
he's a cynic, eh2 Been disappointed in
love, has hef" Van Arndt-"No; In
his cook. Vogue.
Grocer--"Your son seems to be full OF
grit" Customer-"Yes; you know he's
eaten your sugar for several years.
New York Journal.
1t will be some time before Hawaii as
a part Of the United States a be gen.
orally regarded as a pronounced success.
Washington Star.
When the young man becomes en-
gs2ed to II young lady hc establishes a
protectorate. Tho wedding is mex
tion.-Baltimore American.
A violinist to be successful must keep
up with the times. Tnat is, he sloull
always have something new on the
string.-Rochester Democrat.
Jagson says it is the man who lives in
apartments who believes that the saying
sithere is no plaza like homo" has u dat
contradiction .-Elm3ra Glz tie.
THERE'S not much difference between
a Young mau's ti.st love affair aud the
way he feels whoa be first sits III a
BARRIERS air.-Atciisol Globo.
"What makes you wait for tie change
before you select your gloycsf ''Be.
cause there may be some new style be-
fore it gets back.'-Iater. Ocean.
"1his is n nice time to come homc,"
she said. "Ian glad to hear you say
so, dear,n he answered: ~ thou ght you
might think I was rather late."-New
York Press.
The result of jumping at CONCLUSIONS
is markedly shown in those women read
ers who first turn to the oack of the
novel to see how the story turns OUT
Philadelphia Times.
"You may think you are better than
I am" said the larger portion of the
Steak to the Touderloiu; .'3ut l doa't
know any one.that gels cut out ottcner
than you do."-Pack.
Mr.. Brown (whose FAMILY are in des-
titute circumstances)-"Listen. There
are burglars in the house," Mrs. Brown
(coollO-"I hope they have brought
something."--Kato Fields Washington.
Maude-"Me marry that old fright
Why, he's got one foot IN the grave"
Emily-"Tnen, dear, that's all he ever
will get in, unless that particular grave
is considerably larger than usual."-Bos,
ton Herald.
Captain Nimrod Ito city friend on
hired mount, who is in diiRc dties>-
swell, old fellah, how arc you coming
onF" Friend (between gasps)-''Dun-
no. Af.rail--Im- coming Off
Funny Folks.
Jess--"How in the world does Miss
Fltz make herself out to be twenty-.wo?"
Bess -"fwcnty-two years ago the family
Bible was lost in a irc, and to fix the
date beyond question she had to begin
all over again."
Shadbolt I'm tho crowded car)-s'Mc-
| Stab, this is the first time | ever saw you
rise and give your seat to . woman"
McStab (of the suburbs, in u woestruck
whispcr)--"Shi That's our hired grill"
Chicago Tribune.
"Just put this on the slate" said Mr..
NJ. P. Kuhn, after ordering q load
of coal. ave don't keep any slate"
the dealer informed him. "Don't keep
any slatef What do you do with it,
sell itf"-Indianapolis Journal.
my DEAR said he to his lady 1--we,
stI'yo boon busy all dsy; not manual
labor, you know, but brain work, which
Is the hardest kind" Eyes, indeed; I
know It must DO for you," and there
was a look Of tcudor sympathy in her
eyes which aroused him.-New York
News.
"Say, Tom, this proposing Is q fearful
business, isa't ~ A fellow never knows
how to go at II In the most graceful way.
Come, now, what dii you aay to Mrs.
Grccnwalter when yoa asked hsr to be
your wifea" Reminiscent Husband
''Great Scottl what didn't Isay to hera"
Toronto Empire.