Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-04-22

shrieked the old lady. and wnen ] ex-
,Ia,ped sbe murrnured, "Poor old brute;
moor old brute / guess It's best he u
dead"
NOW. my dear sister," I exclaimed in
triumph, "I am glad to see you bearing
your afiiiction with Christian resignation.
Have the old brute hauled of to the
honey yard, and don't think any more about
him."
Al this suggestion the sorrowful mem
her Of my congregation burst into such
a nassion that the force OF her wrath
tore of my white cravat. and made me
pale before her Indignation. When L
finally got the courage 10 beseech an
exclamation she Indignantly exclaimed:
"rIow dare you talk about hauling my
husband TO the bone-yardT
And then. like n hideous vision, the
whole situation flashed before me.
had absent-mindedly visited the WIDOW
Gadabout first. and 1t was her deceased
husband. and not the dead horse we were
talking about
.IroIlins Instituter exclaimed Colonel
John y. Harwood, as the ohair eroaiieu
beneath his two hundred and twenty
eight mounds of Legislative ponderosity.
"TJollins Institute! why, l reckon / do
remember it,"
THE crowd OF gentlepen to whom these
words had been addressed were discussing
female seminaries. and the conversation
had drifted 10 this great institution where
so many Of our sweet maids receive their
educations.
"GentIernen. I couldn't easily forget
that place." continued the Clay-Ward
hraye. "for I had "a frightful experience
there in my youthful days. and every tiihe
YOU say Hollins. Its, memory comes PACK
10 my mind with duii ana sickehins
thud. When ] was young ieiioW' JUST
twentv-three years .oid-and by the way
was n heavier man then than [ am
noVv-J went 10 the Institute to see my SIS
tor The evening / got there they we're
ho,,,ng an ice-cream feast, or something
or tho sort and that put ms in Tor
about nine dollars. but bore up bravery
urder Il. despite the fact that my funds
we're low. IT was the grand entry ln'o
the dining-room that made my biooo
r1,n cold in the time. when, In company
With a professor. / was to marcn to the
table in the presence or three nuhnren
girls. How | got 10 my scat hsNe
knew. but as l ate I could near then,
tittering and whispering ana iduShils ~
me, and ever and anon, when sou 'ne
narve 10 look up. ] could see ther peep
You can well imagine that I didn't de-
vour much at that meal. When the re-
mast was over l congratulated myseii ,il,t'
NV horrors were at an end, but htlie
did 7 know what awaited me. AS WALK
ed down the hall with all the dignity
| could command. my foot hung IN a
nlank. and | was hurled 10 the floor ike
a prostrated elephant. Both OF my hauus
struck with a flop that must have re-
sounded through the grounds OF the whoie
institution. and worst OF all, one OF my
shoes was literally torn OH my toot' 1
was almost paralyzed by the accident.
but not so stunned but what could near
every blessed one Of those three hundred
girls laughing III 10 Kill themselves. HOW
/ got out OF that place l never knew.
but | made up my mind that / would
never face that battalion of femininity
again. 1t was many hours before the
train left for Roanoke, but 1 withdrew
myself from the society of mortals ana
hid until some fellow came along with
a buggy and rescued me from my fright
full prison. THE IDLE REPORTER.