The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1894-11-17

d practical Catholic must be q rood
lnelghbor, good friend and loyal oiti-
zen. sssss X
HI NOR.
i Continued from First Page.
''Tm no great fist at jografy," says his
lordship, ''but l know the place you
name. Population, three millions; ex-
ports, -emigrants.
"Well,' says the Queen, I've been
reading the Dublin Evening Mail and
Telegrsft for some time back, and sorra
one o. me can get at the trooth o. how
things is goin', for the leadin' articles Is
as contradictory as il they wor husband
and wife"
THAT'S the way wid papers all tho
world over" says Essex. columbus
told mo it was the same way in Ameri-
kay, when he was there, abusin' and con-
tradictin' each other at every turn its
the way they make their livin'. Trouble
you for an egg spoon" !.
"It's added they have me betune
them" says the Queen. s'Not a word ]
know whot's goin' on. So now, what i
want you to do is to run over to Ireland,
like good fella, and bring me word how
matters stand.''
us it me?' says Essex, leppin' up off
his chair: "It's not in airnest We are,
Guild lady. Sure it's the height of the
| London saison Every ones in town,
and Shakes new fairy piece, The Mid
summers Night Mare,' billed for next
week.
you'll 20 when your tould," says the
Queen, fxin' him with her eye, IF You
know which side your breads butthered
on. See here, now says she, seem him
chokin' wild vexation and slice o. corned
beef, "you ought to be as pleased as
Punch about it, for you'll be at the top
o the walk over there as vice regent rep-
reeentin' me-"
II ought to have title or two,'' says
Essex, pluckin' up bit "His Glorios-
lily the Great Panjandhrum, or the like
O that"
"How would His Excellency the Lord
Liftinant Of Iceland sthrike you?'' gays
Elizabeth.
First GLASS;" cries Essex; "couldn't
be better. 1t doesn't mean much, but it's
allitherative, and will look we'll below
the number of me hall door," ssMs
| Amy collection of modern Irish humOr.
would be wofully incomplete were the
compiler to omit the works of Alfred
Percival Graves Mr.. O'Donas hus rec
ognizes this fact, for he gives two seleo-
tlons from the pen of that famous lyrist.
| The humor of Samuel Lover is repre-
eentsd by couple of his best poems an
extract from Handy Andy and the le-
gend of "The Little Weaver Of Dnleek
Gate" the last Of which is finely illus
trated. A counterpart of his celebrated
story of Barney O'Reirdon' is given il
chs volume; it is Ettingsall's DARBY
| Doyle's Voyage to Quebec" a much Old
or story than that OF Lover, and quite
as ]udicrous. DR.. William Maginn is
we'll represented in his bacchDalian
songs and in, his story of "Daniel
IO'Rourke." Dr.. Kenealy's Table Talk
sounds little like some of the French
proverbs: @4
If the age of women were known by
their teeth, they would not be SO fond OF
showing them.
The smiles of a pretty woman are
glimpses Of paradise.
MILITARY men never blush; it is not in
the articles of war.
Few meu have the moral courage not
to fight q duel.
Tailors call Adam and Eve the first
founders of their noble art; they have
them depicted On their banners and es-
cutcheons. But they would be nearer
the truth if they called the dev ! the
first master tailor; as only for him 9 coat
and breeches would be unnecessary and
useless. This would be giving tho devil
his due.
Man is two fold creature; one-half
he exhibits to the world aud the other to
himself.
According to the editor Of the "Humor
OF Ireland" we find that Edward Ly-
saght did not write the ''Sprig Of Shille-
leb. "Donny brook Fair" 'fTne Rake at
Mallow,' of "Kitty Of Ooleraine," all Of
which have been set down as his. The
first two, says Mr.. O'Donaghue, were
written by 81. B. Code and Charles
O'Flaherty respectively.
The "Humor Ut Ireland" is most en-
PERTAINING book. No expense has been
spared in its make up. Numerous illus-
|trations, we'll drawn, add conslde
interest to the literary contents, and
short biographical sketches Of all the
Irish humorists make it . treasure to
lovers Of mirth and bright sayings. B;