davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
Don't Try to cheat n Lawyer

A young lawyer, just starting in his
profession, hung out his sign i'll tow
where there was only one other lawyer
an aged judge.
A close listed old fellow, thinking to get
legal advice for nothing, called upon tn,
young man and contrived in sort OF
neighborly way to get some legal ques
tions answered. Then, thanking the
Young man. he was about to leave, when
the young man asked for a s. fee. The
old fellow went into a violent passion
and swore he never would pay. The
Young lawyer told him he would sue him
So the old fellow went down to see the
Judge and said
That young scamp that's just come
into town! | dropped in to make neigh
borlv call on him. and he charges me s.
for legal advice"
Served you right" said the judge.
But have got to pay it, jndgc?"
"Of course you have
well, then" said the man, Il suppose
must" and he started off.
Hold on" said the judge, "aren't you
going to pay me!'
Pay you? What for?"
For legal advice"
"What do you charger"
"Ten dollars"
The result was that the old fellow had
to pay S. to the young lawyer and $40 to
the old one.-Toronto Globe.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
The Gallery Gods Applause.

Lawrence Barrett once told me of a
conversation he had with Edwin Booth.
The latter had been congratulated upon
an ovation given him by crowded
house on the opening night of an engage
ment. THE sweetest music to my ears,
said the great tragedian, sis the shout
ing of the boys in the gallery. know
they are not applauding because l have a
reputation or because they wish to make
a display. They simply give vent to
their natural enthusiasm. When they
shout, know that l am giving a good
performance. AS for the parquet, it
may clap its hands out of politeness. A
dramatic critic who had certain notions
as to how line should be read will APP
plaud if l read it his way; otherwise he
will remain quiet. can never analyze
the applause of the front rows, but the
gallery is sincere in its likes or dislikes."
Chicago Record.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07

Il DOAN LIKE SIGH CARRYiN's ON NOHOw!"
light heah talkin wild dis white man !!
Doan' yo' sagaciate dat 1 drives dray an
lm familiar wild de railrode? Wasn't
lie fust colored man in dis town 'lected to
be alderman? Doan' I sot in de front
sew in church,"
"Waal?"
"Waal, when yo' come long heah an
see me yo' should stop an say to me: Mis-
ser johnson, kin yo' tell me whar dat de-
pot is, kase I want to go down to Opelika
an see my sister Linda, what broke her
aig'"
''Waal?"
"Waal, den would take off my hat an
say to yo': OF co'se, Mrs. Adams-of
,o'se. Keep right on down dis street, an
20 can't miss it. A ticket to Opelika am
fo'ty cents, an be suah an git in de niger
kyar. When yo' gifts to Opelika, git out.
II yo' doan', 20 will be carried on to At
anta. Be keerful an doan' put yer head
outer de winder an knock down de tele-
graph poles, an in case de train runs off
lie track I'ze gwine to make 'em pay yo'
BIO, O00.' OATS what I would say to yo',
Mrs. Adams"
"I'ze sorry, Uncle Joe. II YOU scuse
ne dis time, I'll do better"
"Waal, I'll scuse 20, but doan' yo' dun
torgit! De niggers in dis town am git
lin altogether too peart, Mrs Adams
altogether too peart. Dey jst pear to
think dey knows all bout depots an rail
.odes an kyars, an I'm spectin cherry day
20 hear of distressful egotism dat will
orognosticate de terriblest kind o. sadness
IN a dozen householdsr'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
HE WAS AMBIGUOUS.
BUT IN A CASE LIKE THIS LANGUAGE
WAS OF NO AVAIL.
Resulted-Thc Old Woman and a Barrel
Stave Were Altogether Too Much.

How the Vain Effort to Do IA Man Favor
Resulted-Thc Old Woman and a Barrel
Stave Were Altogether Too Much.
copyright, 1894, by Charles B. Lewisl
When l entered the sitting room of the
railroad station, l thought it was tenant
less, but as l sat down to wait for the
train man wriggled out from behind the
water cooler in corner and said:
stranger, l want to ask Il favor of you
"a great favor"
"Will quarter fix youS" I asked, siz-
ing him up for a tramp.
"I'm no such man as that. Did you
ever have the felicity to get married."
"Yes"
and mebbe you diskivered that the
aforesaid felicity was all in your eye! If
you haven't, l have. Durn the felicity."
whats the lack of felicity got to do
with your being damned in behind the
water cooler? 1t locks as if the sheriff
might be after you
II wish to heaven he was!" dolefully
exclaimed the man.
"Perhaps your wife,
"You've struck it the first shot! 1t
ism t the sheriff but my wife who is after
me. I'm trying to dissolve partnership
and git out want to go down the road
Oh lnlS tram.
''Well?''
"Shell probably miss me and hunt
around town and come down here. Don't
give me away. Don't turn up the lights.
If she asks fur me, make some ambiguous
reply. Yes, that it-let your answer be
ambiguous"
"Why don't you face her like a man?'
I asked.
Face her like n man! Great jim Grow,
but you orter see her Hang it, but there
she comes now! Stranger. be prepared
be ambiguous! If kin git shet o. her, Ill
buy you the best hat to be found in the
state.'
The heavy, measured tread of some one
on the platform shook the building, and
just as the man reached his hiding place
the door was kicked open and a strapping
big woman walked in with barrel stave
in her hand and her iron jaw set like
wise.
"Whars my critterf' she demanded as
she stood before me.
''Were you looking for horse or n
cow" queried in reply.
'I'm a-lookin fur critter named Jim
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
SOMETHING WRONG.
He Would Excuse Her That Time. but II
Mustn't Occur Again.

He Would Excuse Her That Time. but 1t
Mustn't Occur Again.
l had stopped to have bit of chat with
the colored drayman whose vehicle was
backed up to the platform of the cotton
compress when woman of his color came
along with satchel in her hand, evi
IDENTIFY on her way to the depot, two
blocks below.
"Heah, yo pusson ~ called the old man,
'whar' be yo' a-gittin to dis mawnins"
"a gittin fur de kyars," she replied as
she came to q halt and dropped the satchel
"An who dun toled yo' dem kyars war
down dat way?'
Nobody. I'ze dun knowed it myself
dis long time
Gan yo' didn't AK l.obody?'
mo, sah.'
can yo' war; gwine right down dar all
by yo' lone self?''
eyes, sah.''
"Woman, doan' like SIGH carryin' $ on
nohow.' said the old man, with consider
able feeling. lie dun seed de time in dis
town when yo'r fadder was put up at auc-
ton an sold fur seben hundred dollars, an
heah yo' ar gwine right down to de kyars
widout sayin muffin to nobody! 1t doan'
ook right. 1t shows dar am sunthin
wrong bout dis freedom bzness'
"What yo' want me to do, Uncle joe
she asked, seeming to be bit frightened.
"What I want yo' to do, Mrs. Adams?
What l want yo' to do? Doan' yo' see me
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
CHAPTER XIV.
NOT no GET Our.

Presently found that 1 had already
collected nearly all the seaweed that
was procurable at this end of the cave.
But after my first sense of disappoint-
ment I did not so much mind this, for
expected to meet with plenty of stones
such as one usually or often finds in the
interior of such caves. All such peb-
bles, however, as 1 could see seemed
quite too large to lift. / did not doubt,
though, that / could somewhere find
removable pebbles in sufficient quaint
" to build up for myself sort of seal
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
Far West Providence.

happened to be the only passenger in
she stage, and as we reached the half way
house and were waiting for dinner and
change Of horses l noticed two men con-
mlting together in suspicious manner.
One of them finally mounted and rode off
down the trail we were to pass over, while
[ caught the other exchanging winks with
the landlord. 1t struck me that the driver
would be able to explain, and went out
TO where he sat smoking and told him
what had seen.
eyes," he calmly replied when had
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07

feels himself the peer of MIR. Gushing ev-
cry day in the week and will not be bound
by his rules. We had run meeting for
81 minutes on the St. Louis system and
were just beginning to breathe easy when
up popped Alderman Clitz with PROPOSE
ton to spend $4,000 to bridge $3.50
river. We waited to fool around with
Cushing's Manual before calling him to
order, and as result we lost SO per cent
Of our prestige as presiding officer and
had to lick him after the meeting adj
Iourned. We went up to Chicago at our
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
CHAPTER XIII.

sat on the edge of the sill and slid
down, expecting to land safely on the
spot which l had poled and probed with
the butt end of my rod, but it proved
to be false bottom or not the bottom
at all. Whatever was the obstruction
at this point, it gave way before my
descending weight. 1t was, in fact, an
accumulation of debris gathered around
certain rotten branches that had stuck
hera in the entrance, lying transversely
along the incline. l broke through all
this with q loud cracking Of broken
timber and continued to slide or in
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07

I
"I've got an idea that the fellow who
rode away is going to stop the STAGE
$50 have l..
"And this other chap and the landlord
| are in with him?"
81 expect they are. "
"But what are we going to do about
| lt?" demanded, provoked at his GOODNESS
81 dunno" he placidly replied.
"If l go on, the man will rob me. If
| leave my money here, the landlord will
beat me out of it. If l trust it to you'--
"Don't do it! l never could stand temp
;ationn'
"Well, this is nice country, must
say! l think I'll take the back track on
foot"
"No use. The other robber has just
started off to intercept you if you try it.n
"But if I'm robbed I'll hold the stage
company responsible. The Agreements is
that L shall be carried safely through"
Confess prevented by some att of provi-
dence," he chuckled.
"And do you call hd1dup an act of
providence?"
"Mebbe. How much money ar you
worryin OVER"
"About $l2"
"Twelve dollars, Only ST.? Hold on a
minuter'
He went in and had a confab with the
landlord, and while the horses We're being
hitched up the landlord fired n rifle out of
The back door. l think it was a signal,
Tor we passed down the road and saw moth
ing of the robber l was up with the
driver, but he was sulky and silent and
iidn't utter n word until we were driving
INTO Elk City. Then he solemnly observed:
stranger, | reckon you ar not much
Int lA id
gut in this kentry."
"Why?"
''Bekase you seemed to figger that she
vas jest low down huff to spend $50 with
IF time to rob blamed galoot of $12 :.
Dunno what sort of providence you hev in
ihe east, but ours out yere wouldn't stopa
stage and rattle II redheaded tenderfoot
,round fur less than $50, and don't you
'orgit it,!
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07

Caskell!'' she shouted in reply, land If
he's got you to lie fur him ZIP
She was raising the stave over her head
when i'm made movement and betrayed
his wherea bouts. She had him out of
that corner in five seconds, tipping over
the cooler and upsetting bench in her
vigor and as she snaked him toward the
door by the collar and larruped him with
the stave and called him names he shout
ed to me:
stranger, I'm much obleeged to you!
Your language was ambiguous, but the
old woman and barrel stave kin lick any
seven languages spoken on the face of this
q firth ~
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
Fully Canable.

Shoe Dealer-If a woman should come in
and ask you to show her a good common
sense shoe that would not pinch her foot,
what would you dor
Z Would Be Clerk-I'd bring out shoe
about two sizes too small for her.
~ guess you'll do. '--Indianapolis Jour
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
Self Preservation.

A Detroit nimrod went off up the coun-
.ry not long ago on a hunt and took n boy
dong. The boy accompanied the hunter
I'll the first day in the field, and by night
lis employer noticed that he was pretty
BADLY ratified. The next morning, when he
vas ready to start out again, the boy was
rot to be found Search was made, and in
| lis room on Il table this note was found:
Mr.. Blank:
Dear SUR have gone to detroit to git mi life
insured. hire another boy till i git back
(ours trooly, BILLIE
The gentleman endeavored to destroy the
tote ere it was too late, but failed.-Detroit
Free Press
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
An Expensive Political Bonfire.

PORTLAND, Me, March 6.-Fire at Cane
Elizabeth burned two buildings and de
stroyed $4,000 worth of property. The fire
started from bonfire in the street cele-
'~'..ting the Republican victory.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
AT all Prices, except high PRICES.
Stainless all wool Red Underwear
now SIC. All wool tar color,
same nTiCe.

SG''''C - w.
We always have stock at
prices that are seldom equaIIed,
and never bettered Lincne and
Linen Collars and Cuffs Of all
kinds. Shirts Of all kinds, Sus-
penders, Carriers Necl<Wear, Gold
and Plated Buttons, Muff'crs,
shirt studs, Dress shirts, Urder-
Wear, BaIbrig0an, Merino, and
all wool OVeraIIs and Working
Goats and Jumpers, for men
and boys, Boys Knee Pants,
short Pants. Office Goats,
Walters Goats, BARRIERS and Bar
tenders Goats, Butchers and
Grocers Frocks and Aprons,
Hats, Caps, Trunks, BAGS, Um-
breIIas, &c.
Our honest low cash price to
all, everyone made welcome, and
treated equal. Our prices are
not inflated by loss from q credit
business, andyour dollar is rccog-
nized at full Value.
You have only to Give US triaI
and you can prove to your entire
satisfaction that We are the
greatest bargain CiVcrs in New
FINLAND
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
Red Tame,

A mistress told her maid Bette that she
must not always do things on her own re-
possibility, but first ask permission. The
lext day Bette walked into the parlor and
aid politely: "Mevrouw, the cat is busy
ating up the duck. Must | send her away
IT not ?"-kikeriki.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
Was He n Medium?

had left solemn seance with the spirits of
the dead
And returned to seek my chamber with strange
notions in my head.
Cor lonEed with Jealous ardor to recommuni-
cate
With those dear, departed mortals who control
my earthly fate.
citing darkness fall about me. down / sat
with many Il sigh,
Hoping. waiting for some message from the
spirits by and by,
And at last there came a rapping, strangely
weird, a muffled sound,
Is of ghostly fingers tapping on the wainscot
all around.
Stiff and straight sat and listened while my
wild eyes pierced the gloom,
looking for their spirit figure to come floating
through the room,
And my heart was all a-tremble with expect
ancy and fear,
Almost dreading their appearance and the
words soon would hear.
But the room grew cold and colder, SO crawled
within my bed,
softly drawing up the blankets till they reached
above my head.
Still there came no demonstration Of that
weird, mysterious power,
but the rat behind my bureau kept on gnaw-
ing for an hour.
Now York Sun
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07

weeds, whose botanical names even now
do not know. My thoughts were now
so low and humble that they were con-
centrated altogether upon seaweed, eli
BILE or not. Any live seaweed would be
edible to me.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-07
TaiefburY 8Oil5r Works.

iavtu- re-nnT-+ IN The corner p rter SIR e
suF y 3 r. formerly the W 'teroury Ma AZ
abe I-11 - Er.tun ~ ana being 3 pTactics
8 Ter VI tksr. 7 an prepared 70 do ali nds
boiler Water TANK. smoke Staca- Tar hea' m
, Iru.,-.S Au1eAlIl- PAN. Pate AMI sheet ITO
WORK Of A.. De>srJ st.oI~- OT1eFS oy E-a1A VI
-ace.ve prompt ~trention-
JAMES j DUFFY.
RnV
RCa aese Laundry Check is d
Lottery 7 .c<et. CAPITA Prize,
LeDTOSy.
Sensible Peep e do not buy
Lottery Tickets. Neither do
they 9atronize a Chinese Laun-
dry
Haze your work done BY the
Waterbury Steam Laundry, l. S f6@9'
Avoid all Risks.
The Holt County sentinel., 1894-02-09
Prize Fighting.

Some good people object, ard with
plausible reason, toO-to the prominence
gwen in the press to the brutal and dis
gus;ing prize fight at jacksonville, Flor
ida. II certainly is not desirable class
of news for family journal. But in the
long run publicity given such evils works
a cure. To conceal the facts from the
public woula be a public wrong. Be-
sides, concealment is not possible. The
class OF people who gloat over that kind
Of news would get what they want in
the lower orders of Journalism while the
the better elements Of society which
moulds and guides public sentiment,
would be in ignorance OF the debasina
influences honey -combing society. Pub
iicity is the surest and speedy remedy
"Uncie Toms Cabin" wrought that work
With one OF the "twin relics Of barbar.
ism."
In the present instance the outrage
| has raised {. tremendous clamor for ad
ditional legislation by the several states
to totally suppress these vslgar exh,bi-
tions OF brute strength. One leading
newspaper declares there will never be
more than one-or possibly two prize
fights in the United States, as public
| sentiment is rapidly crystaliz,ng against
| them. They will follow the way OF ths
do IL and IN , lottery.
| AzG yet there are people who thini
"the world is growing VERSE und "tht
newspapers are IN the service OF the de
/ -
The Holt County sentinel., 1894-02-09
lie Mas a tiOn,t s....

Although George Wi!liam Ch:,ts held
ncst unique position, both de It lnau
arc IS citizer, tie salient features of
his character might well be m1de pat-
tern for American yGr.h il general. Be
ginning ,i!e p1or boy te .ired TO Ell,
ter'sin royalty; without laaying his
Or art, hc has been the sponsor Il pro.
Srctiops which vii lire forever; never a
po.,.i-.aE, Ee was Z power IN politics;
dlst,nctive'y tuan Of peace. he WIS
the closest friend and most ardent a.
mirer Of Americas greatest eolhiar. As
PhIlanthropist none can cri:i:ise the
wisdom or the !iberali;Y o, his acts. as
publisher he made 90 Use Of unworthy
methods for money rnaking; 81 n mill
ionaire none begrudged hiu hls wealth.
His hahi's Of industry began IN Ito r-ac-
tice OF his boyhood. in begi. ming his
work early that he might aot be crowd
ea jate. lie was often praised and se!-
dom abused, may times blessed but
Sometimes condemned. yet he pursued
the even tenor of his LIES say without
apparent notice Of the worlds estimate
o. his doings. But of all the traits of
bis character that Of benevolence and
kindness Of heart have been the rlps.
notable
The Holt County sentinel., 1894-02-09
\ Y'ilcn.an Hurt.

Fred Morgan, fireman on the Grand
Island railroad, who resides at Tenth
and Lincoln streets. sustained q serious
:a;l OF the ice while going to his home
at about o'clock yesterday evening.
While ascending Tenth street, near the
Cathedral, he was seen to fall, from
which position he arose but had taken
but few steps before be again fell
PROSTATE, and not being able to rise,
John Marnell, who resides at 1910 Ro,
bidoux street, went TO his assistance,
and together with Mr.. holland, car
RED the man to .he St. Joseph house,
corner Of Isnth street and Freoerick
aveaue. A ply sician wGs summoned,
and subsequently DR.. e. 5. Garner, the
company's physician, was called. and al
ter an examination said the ex :ent and
nature Of his injuries could not be deter,
mined before morning st. Joseph
Herald Feb l. Fred used to be q citizen
Of this city, and clerked for ]. B. Payne
lie has host OF friends here who will
be glad to learn that he has about fully
recovered from the effects Of the fall.
The Holt County sentinel., 1894-02-09
A Tremendous Victory.

The result ef the special congressional
elections in the city OF New York on
Tuesday Of las. Week, is such as should
make every Republican heart and the
entire country rejoice. They Indicate
that eyer in the nEa.cui.i strong hold Of
the democracy the entering wedge 81
defeat has appeared. Tho economic IS
sae has made itself felt. and the work
ing classes OF that great industrial cen
ter have shown that self-interest, IL not
political principl., has at last led them
to true understanding of how grossly
they have been misrepresented and are
being misrepresented in the halls OF cor
gress and in the offices cf tie Eaticnal
executive
The Fourteenth congressional district
o: the city Of New York, FROM which a
Democrat has been chosen without any
practical opposition for several success
eive terms, has at last been won over to
the Republican ranks by plurality OF
nearly LOCO votes Republican gain
over 1892 CT 9,73o.
70 the EifteeI,h district, while being
unable to overcome the immense Demo
cratic vote, the returns show Republi
can gain over the vote OF 1892 OF $50
The same percentage Of gam which has
been achieved in these two Democratic
Gibraltar's would give a Eepnriicaa
na.criiy il New York state OF about
100000.
These returns cannot very well be ex.
plained away. They indicate that On
Of the most remarkable reversals ofpub-
lie s6rtiueEt that has ever baen realized
iu this country has iust .aksD place
There have beer tidal waves which have
overwhelmed the Democratic party frou
time to,time since the war. but they
have left the Democratic vote in these
districts practically undisturbed. ant
New YORK has remained a rer:ta6!s
Democratic Gibraltar
The Holt County sentinel., 1894-02-09
Happy Hearts.

Cn Wednesday evening, January 3lst,
1894, the relatives and friends asst mbled
ct the residence OF Joseph Randall to
witness the marriage OF their daughter,
Olive, to VIM. Kollmer, Elder Alderman
officiating. The bride was beco,ningly
at:ired in cream cashmere, trimmed in
lace; natural flowers. After congratu-
la.ions an elegant sapper was selved in
a manner characteristic Of the hospital
ity of tbs host aud hostess. The bridal
party Jeff for Kansas city for brief
stay. The following tokens Of friend
ship were received by the happy couple:
Father and mother Kollmer; rocker.
Father and mother Randall; carpet.
James Lease; carving set.
Samuel Randall; china cups and sau-
Gers.
Mary Randall; meat platter.
Mr.. Dsgorse and Emma kol,mes
hanging iaIap.
Mr.. Kre,der and wife: tedspread.
A. Kollmer and wife; silver knives
and forks.
Fred Kollmer; bread knife and sugar
shell.
Mr.. Cot:ier and wife; set Of napkins
Frora and Anna Tnol; set OF tumblers
Mr.. Thol and wife; handsome clock
..rs. L. E. Kreek; towelling.
Mrs. Theresa Spoerle and daughter
decorated tea set.
Lizzie and Amelia Kollmer; pair o.
towels.
Lena Boyd; satin pin cash;ou.
Mr. Barnes; pair vases.
D.S.Alkire and wife; souvenir spoon
The Holt County sentinel., 1894-02-09
Millions In It.

The Burlington Ronie is making An im!aense
amount Of improvements, It being esfilnats:
that from Si2Oo00sO to S15.0OO0O have been
spent or contracted for during the past wear
From a hi.h official source il Is hinted that the
Burlington people nave reached the goal o:
their ambition In regard 10 the extent Of terri
tory acquired. and will conhne future extra ex-
penditures to the improvement Of road-bed
depot facilities and equipment. In no depart
mcnt have improvements been m ere marked
than IN the Missouri lines.
The X. line from Burlington to St. louis. Is
being constantly improved. and the new eSten-
sion and bridges and the Terminal facilities nj
st. Louis are something big The additions ana
improvement In service OH the X line the past
few years have been very noticeable. Travellers
also over the Hannibal & st. Joseph branch
have occasion " be grateful. Wi!ha fsv
years the DID wOOden bridges have b'ea re-
placed with Those IL stone and iron, and the
oil wooden culverts with iron thing.
Heavier rails have been used. and splendid
trains arc now being run. The track is in con-
,ll:ion to inass u speed Of sixty miles an houl
nothing extraordinary or hazardous Every
where over the Burlington Sy;,:eIn. improve
ment Is the order Of the day.--Quincy Journal
Every line Of the above applies with equal-x'
actness as to the state Of affairs on this, the X
G. division Of this popular system. Tie tracs
1. being steadily improved. new iron bridge!
put in, stone and iron culveTts taking the placer
Of Others less substantial. and more and bettel
trains being run than ever before. The X. &
is one Of the best divisi ms sf tl'. Burlington
! and Is keeping right up with she procession.