Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-05-24
PlTA AND POINT.

PtTA AND POINT.
Prudence ind industry are the best
safe guards against bad luck. Rams
Horn.
-Clara-sOh, have so much to say
to you" Maude-..And ] to you. Let's
20 to the opera tonight. HarlemLife
~ don't believe that horrid Miss
Bolton would stop at anything" Bob
did you ever try her with q soda
fountain ,-Inter-Oceaa.
Wear your learning. like Your
watch, in a private pocket; and do not
pull it out and strike it. merely to show
that yon have one.
FOR parent to punish child in
any other spirit than that Of compass
sion for the offender, is to kill some-
thing good In both hearts Rams
Horn.
"A Wild Guess. the
women of your acquaintance who have
married. which are the happiest?"
Juno-sThe dead ones. Detroit Free
Press.
-George-sDo you think you could
ever learn to love me?'' Ethel-s'I
might after some time see the queen
is learning Hindustani at the age OF
seventy
The Ideal. don't see
why woman's husband is never her
ideal?" Juno-"No? Well, it's be-
cause the ideal is always the unattain-
able."-Detroit Free Press.
Prom the Barracks
ION account Of two short days OF ar
rest that fellow makes q face like a
zebra whose stripes have been washed
away. Batter.
-Visitor-'sIs your employer out?"
Smart Office Boy think he is, sir.
He's been in his private Office for three
hours playin' poker with Col. Ken
tuck. "-Philadelphia Record.
"A Rare Education.-"Does your
daughter sing?" asked Mrs. Gingle-
gilt" mo" replied Mrs. OLDHAM. "We
have taken great pains in educating
her not not to. "-Washington Post.
My son. if you are flush, associate
with the well-to-do, for they are not
likely to borrow; but If you are broke,
keep on good terms with the poor, for
they are more willing to lend. Puck.
-"Sometimes," said Uncle Eben, ser
man fattahs hisself dat he's feelin'
sympathy wifi de unfortunate. when
he's jis drorin' comparisons, and con-
gratulatln' hisself "-Washington Star.
Professor of Astronomy-''Can any
one tell what the milky way is?''
Tommy-'.Please, sir, don't know
what it is, but I think it was caused by
the cow jumping over the NOON
Philadelphia Record.
Change into extremity is very fire.
quent and easy. As when q begRar
suddenly grows rich he commonly be-
comes prodigal, for to obscure his
former obscurity he puts on riot and
excess.-Ben Jonson.
Her Adorer-ssMay / marry your
daughter, sir?" Her Father-"What
do you want to marry for? You don't
know when you're we'll Off" Her
Adorer-.'No, perhaps not. But know
when you're well f."-Tit-Bits. )
Police Captain-'What is the mat
ter with you? Here you let fight go
on in q saloon for more than half an
hour and make to attempt to stop it.
Officer McGobb-"Sure, sor, OF fought
it was the primary upstairs. "-Indi-,
annapolis Journal /
Will the Time Ever Come?-Spatts
What is your idea Of the millen-
MUM, Bloobumper?" Bloobumper-
s.My idea of the millennium is the time
when one man will accept, without
hesitation, another's explanation Of
how he got that black eye."-Puck.
I'm the Rail-Car.-Proud Mother
'.Do see how baby laughs every time
the conductor calls a station" Cynical
Old Bachelor-"H'm! probably the
young one thinks the conductor is in
dulging in baby-talk. It does sound as
much like that as anything. Boston
Transcript.