The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1894-12-26

And ht for princlpallt1es ana powers
II we do not guide and man it,
And engineer the planet,
'Tis the folly OF our forefathers--not oq
Mildred Lancaster. in Home and County,.
PITH AND POINT.
After one puts project on foot he
then has it on hand. Dallas News.
How to make little money go a
long ways-Drop nickel in the mis-
sionary box. ... =,
It's the sensible girl who in hunt
for man keeps her powder dry.-Ad-
ans Freeman. 4.
The man who has q habit of getting
loaded should not blame his employer
if he fires him.-Hartford Journal.
Since it takes trouble to perfect
character, every one should marry as
early as possible. -Atchison Globe.
Tell US, ye winged winds
That travel land and sea,
Is there spot where no one sings
Or whistles "S-t M-eW
" Chicago Inter-Ocean.
eyes, it's hard world" sighed
the balloonIst, as he struck the fair
grounds with a sickening thud. Yale
Record. ... 49,.
Europe is still making war on the
American hog. The only place the
poor thing is safe is in the street cars.
Cleveland Plain Dealer. r.
McSwatters-"I hear that Skiply
is going to settle in New York?'
Skiply's Tailor-'I wish he had SET
tied here first. Syracuse Post.
We know It all at twenty;
at fifty. We confess
We have unlearned little,
More or less. ,s'gfsi. g.
....,... Washington Star.
"Woman will be famed as well as
mani" she calculated as she threw
down the book. eyes" responded
old Cynicus, stfor untold ages. -
Boston Commonwealth.
"There is trouble in store fol, Long
We'd" "Trouble in store?" eyes, or
in several of them. His wife gave
him sample of dress goods to match
to-day."-Bufalo Courier. 1S .
Mrs. Quiggs-"Your husband re-
minds me of somebody" Mrs. Neigh
bors-"He reminds me of his mother
every time the cooking doesn't suit
him" "-Philadelphia Record.
Colonel -"There's one
waiter in your hotel I never saw take
a tip" Landlord-'Indeed! Which
one was it?" Colonel S.-"The dumb
waiter. Toronto Advocate.
"There's Bigger now; would you
call him a patient man?" can de-
pends." "On what?' s:Whether
he's fishin' or waitin' for his supper"
Burlington Iowa) Gazette.
'.Dear old uncle is shedding tears
over the selection from Wagner"
eyes; he says it takes him right back
to the days when he worked in boil
er factory Chicago Inter Ocean,
The maid was all the world to me -
Ere my love made known;
But then found she seemedto be
Just like the frigid zone.
Puck.
Glow dare you kiss me, sir?" ''I'm
awfully sorry, but-did you not en-
courage me?' "And pray, sir, how
did I encourage you?'' "Well-you
took off your glasses!"-Boston Bea-
con. ' zr.
Passenger lin rowboat during sud-
den squalD-"Oh, we shall sink!''
Boatman-sI can SWIM" Passenger
-"But I can't" Boatman-'Never
mind, I'll teach you. "--Fliegende
Blaetter. ,..
Van Masters-M understand Hobbs
has been formally expelled from the
Artists Society,"" Peyster-"Yes;
he fell asleep in the BARRIERS chair and
the barber cut of his vandyke beard. "
Chicago Record. a' .'..
Laura (old maid, to her neighbor at
dinner)-"You eat very little, Mr..
Jenkins" Jenkins (hattered, and
wishing to return a compllment)-r :
"Ah, Miss Laura, to sit by you takes
ones appetite away."-Truth.
"should auld acquaintance be forgot?
Thus Scotlands Bobby spoke;
And we reply that he should NOT, =.
Unless he has gone broke.
indianapolis Journal.
s'Whet a pleasure it is to
hear Jabwock talk French!" Charles
ga pleasure! he never comes
within a mile of the proper pronuncia-
tior." Henry-"Thnts just it. It's
so English, you know. boston
Transcript.
The beat had pulled away from the
shore some fifteen or eighteen feet
when Ole Olson reached the bank in
great anxiety to get aboard. His
friend, rels Nelson, stood on deck and
waved his arms frantically, bowling id
the meantime: "Yump, Ole, YUM
ave think ye can max eet in coupi"
Of yumps. CLAY Center (Kan'
Times.
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