The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-02-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Fast colors-Ihe regimental flag in
a cavalry charge. Courier.
A small soul has plenty of elbow
room in narrow-minded man. Texas
Siftings.
When a real-estate agent begins to
go down hill he loses ground very fast.
Texas Siftings.
A man can talk himself ont of Job
easier than he can talk himself into
one. .-Atchison Globe.
A baby always helps to make home
happy--particularly when the baby is
asleep. Texas Siftings.
Professor A.-"Whom do you re.
gard as the greatest inguist of the
age?" Professor B.-"Mrs B."-Tlt-
Bits.
Hicks-''Your heart goes out in
sympathy for the poor?" Wicks-
Eyes, but it sounds like rank egotism
to say it."
The new fad, pedistry, or the telling
of your fortune by your feet, is get.
ting science down pretty low. Hart.
ford Journal. ..
Many n chap thinks himself brow
beaten when he is only beaten by tine
gray matter behind the other fellows
brow.-Puck.
Checkerly-"Baw Jove, Cholly, ]
wish 1 knew some polite and easy way
to put off duns." Stripes-'Just pay
cash. "-Harpers Bazaar.
He-"I want to marry a woman who
l know knows more than ] do" She
-"Well, if she is wise she will never
let you know it. Detroit Free Press.
Chappie- 'I-aw-heah that the
football playah cut you out with Miss
Daisy" Cholly (shuddering)-"Cut
me out He thwew me out !"-New
York Press.
The Youth-"Does man ever get
too old to take any interest in life?"
The Sage-"Oh, yes. But he gener.
ally RECEIVERS by the time he is twenty
five. indianapolis Journal
"Myl" exclaimed Alice, "the Mr..
Jones that Aunt Clara knows must be
an awfully small man. Aunt Clara
says that his wife keeps him under her
thumb. Philadelphia Times.
'Is there any chance for man to
rise in this community" asked the
stranger. "There is, sir, replied the
old inhabitant. "Lynched three this
morning by daylight. Atlanta Con.
stitution.
Dinwiddie - 'Bookkeepers and
sleight-of- performers have much
in common" Van Braam-'How SOP"
Dinwiddie - ''They both flourish in
the ledger domain. - Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
'1t's queer about Jaywink never
taking his wife out into society any
more. "Well, no it isn't his doctor
told him he should not take anything
that disagreed with him. Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Wife-'I want to talk with you
about some things we need for the
house" Husband What are they?"
Wife-"Well, to begin with dear,
don't you think we need a new bon.
net ?"-Tit-Bits
Artist-"I painted this picture, sir,
to keep the wolf from the door"
Dealer latter inspecting it)-"Well,
hang it on the knob where the wolf
can see it, and he'll skip quick
enough. Detroit Free Press.
"And what is that photograph OFF"
she asked of the young man who was
exhibiting his collection of instantane-
ous pictures. "Of football game. 4"
Dear me I thought it was lot of
musicians having Il quarrel. Wash
ington Star
Mrs, Dobson-''B Bridget told me she
saw Mr.. and Mrs. Hobson going to
church this morning. 1 wonder what's
the matter. Mr. Dobson-'W Why,
either Mr. Hobson has had another
attack of his heart trouble or Mrs.
Hobson has a new hat. Puck.
"There goes Judge Sohkem, said
Meandering Mike. can old acquaint-
anoe of yours, l s'pose, "reioinod Plod-
ding Pete, sarcastically. "Oh, we're
Jest on speakin' terms. / know him
well enough to say mot guilty TO 'im
oncet in II while. " Washington Star.
Domestic trembling )-"Oh, please,
| hear burglars in the house. Mrs.
Blinkers (reassuriugly) "Most likely
it's Mr.. Blinkers Just IN from the
club. Domestic positively y)-"No,
mum, it's burglars. They haven't
stumbled against anything at all -
New York Weekly.
Can you let me have five dollars?
left all my money mt home and l
haven't a cent with me, said Johnnie
/ Fewscads TO his friend, Hostester Nc.
Ginnis. "Sorry l can't lend yo five
dollars. But here is a nickel car-fare.
You can ride home and get your
mohey," replied Hostetter. Texas
Siftings
IL am "A poet, said the young man,
resolutely. 'IndeedY" replied the
kind hearted, but absent-minded, edi-
tor. eyes. And l came 10 see if you
will not give me a trial " Dear,
dear My good fellow, / wouldn't
bother about trial ia just plead
guilty and take my chances Wash
ington Post