Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1894-05-05
A NARROW
ESCAPE.

"Sir," cried Horace Burleigh TO his
sdored ones father, the torch Of love tllu-
mining his usually duh, flshy looking eyes,
''sir, 10 see your daughter is TO love, wor-
ship and adore her Who can gaze on the
symmetrical proportions Of her perfect fig
ure, the exquisite features of her soulful
face and drink In the beauties of her celes-
tial mind-beauties that ripplingly flow
through the coral aperture bejeweled with
pearls Of dazzling whiteness and designed
by nature to-to"-
Take little breath, young man, "
said the old gentleman kindly, noticing
that Horace was gasping like a fish out Of
water and clutching at his throat.
who" continued Horace, wiping his
glistening face with a pair Of cheap Kid
gloves and imprinting set OF Chinese
characters in pale brown on his swelling
countenanoe, who, say can gaze on "a
peerless gem like your daughter'-
Then "A shrill voice sounded along the
hall:
PA, the taturs are ON the bile. When
are you goin 10 have your grubl"
And Miss Selma Skeggs bounded into
the room with one slipper off, gave jump
Mntn Hit saw ilbItit NhANh oeAe
the other slipper flying and exclaimed
PLEASE don't look at me, Horace! am
Just engaged in some culinary operations
Papa is SO particular about his cookery that
always have To give 1t my personal SUI
pervision. / really bad no idea that you
were here and engaged in private con-
fabulation with papa. Please don't look
at me, HoraceP'
Then Miss Skeggs picked up her slipper,
clutched at her ragged dress and shuflled
out of the room To try to hide the holes
In the heels of her stockings.
But alasl Horace had looked at her He
couldn't help it. Was this his divinity,
his Selinai "The symmetrical proportions
of her perfect figure" had vanished, and a
sack of -four tied in the middle had appar-
emily taken its place. THE exquisite
features of the soulful face" were decided
ly grimy, with "A particularly aggressive
looking ''black" ON her nose, and her haii
looked as If 1t had been playing football
Rugby rules. The coral aperture, " which
was certainly "off color, bejeweled with
pearls Of dazzling whiteness," was minus
two "pearls" in front, and the "beauties
Of her celestial mind" had degenerated
into "taturs, "bile" and grub"
Horace Burleigh was speechless at the
awful revelation and was only ar
from his stupor by hearing Mr.. Skeggs "
encouragingly:
"Go on, young man"
"Yes, I'm go-going, SIR" stammered
Horace, making a movement toward the
door.
"No, no." interposed the old gentleman.
~ mean continue your eloquent discourse
ON my daughter"
I'll don't think have anything more
TO say, SIR" said Horace nervously.
Nonsense, young mani Don't be BASH
full. / was IA young man myself once and
know all about it. l am sure Selma ad-
mires you, and from your beautifully po-
etic description of her personal appearance,
ETC., / am confident that the admiration Is
reciprocal. Go on, young manP'
"Wo-won't another day do, sira" tim
idly asked Horace.
mo time like the present, young man. ="
And Mr.. Skeggs looked trifle stern.
Horace Burleigh pulled himself together.
He felt that the moment had now arrived
for him TO assert his courage, manhood and
independence, and he meant TO do SO.
"Well, sir, he said, grasping the back
of n chair for support, ''as you wish me TO
continue / will do so. This is the first
time / have ever seen your daughter at
home in a, so to say, private sense, and l
do not approve of her language 'Taturs,
bile and grub strike me as being de-
cidedly low
II like taturs, growled Mr.. Skeggs
Horace took no notice of the Interrupt
ton, but continued:
-"nor do Iapprove Of her personal ap-
pearance-untidy hair, pot kissed face and