Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-08-30
PiTH AND POINT.

-'sHow do you like your new datY.
Mr.. Howler-s'It.s. simply perfect. It's
SO small we can't invite anyone to visit
us. "-Inter-Ocean.
-Herdso-"How does it happen that
DR. Emdee is SO popular with his lady
patients?' Saidso-''He tells them all
that they are 'sto young too die. -
Truth
She haughtilyE''I beg your par
don, sir; you have the advantage of
me-" He Gauntily)-''I should say
had. I am the fellow you Tilted ten
years ago."-Boston Transcript.
-Accepted.-The ancient knight
leaned lightly upon his lance. MARY
-" The modern maid was on his neck
in an instant. oh, Roderick," She
cried, this is so sudden!'-Truth.
Better Still.-Briggs-''I tell you
there's no place women show to better
advantage than in New York" Griggs
-"Umph! You should see the same
women in bathing at Narragansett.'
n. Y. Sun
-Papa's Sarcasm.-Father-''I was
met at the train on my return by a
band" Friend-"Ah? A brass band?"
Father-''No; hat band. My son
wears one Of these dude straw hats. -
Detroit Free Press.
Banks from his berth. feebly)-"I
say. steward do you think it's all up
with me?" Steward (cheerfully)-
'Hevery think, for the present, sir;
but your happetite will be a-comin' by
an by.'-N. Y. Herald
Counsel for observation-disclosures your
honor, my client did call the plaintiff
donkey, but at the present high mar
ket rate of those valuable animals is
this not rather a compliment than 9TH
erwise?'-Fliegende Blaetter.
-"England is very wet country"
said the tourist who had just returned.
''True enough" replied the man who
had never been out of his native coun-
try. Il understand the present reign
began in 1897. "-Pittsburgh Chronicle.
From the Orient.-The Sultan-'I
am to be married next Monday, and
again on Friday next. Won't you grace,
by your presence, at least one of my
weddings?" The Shah-"How provolS-
ing! Have weddings of my own for both
dates. Life.
"A little boy was coming home with
his mother from church when he heard
her saying that the sermon was not
worth much. The little boy immedi-
ately turned round and said: ''Oh,
mother, what could you expect for
halfpenny?"-Tit-Bit
Man of the House Tin loud and
angry voice)-''Confound it! Shut that
door, you, out there. Shut that door,
right away" Servant appearing, with
dignityl-''Do yez know who yez is hol-
lerin at?' Man of the House (collapse0
ooh! excuse me, Bridget! 1 thought
it was my wife. Puck.
-Maude-"Mr. Buskin, the actor,
must think good deal of Miss I'm
dastudi, of his company. When they
met to-day he kissed her just as if she
had been his wife" Kate-''Oh, much
more warmly than that. 1 should say
he kissed her just as if she wasn't his
wife. Boston Transcript.
Frau Schlemiller standing with
her second husband at the grave of her
first)-"Yes, here he lies. the brave
warrior. You would certainly not be
my husband to-day if my dear John
had not died the death of hero on the
battlefeld!' Herr Schlemiller (pen-
sively)-"Yes, war is the curse of hui
mainly
"A Pointed Question.-Judge-"
accused declares that he partook of
various heavy wines at your house on
the evening in question; is that cor
rect?" Witness Ia landlord -"Hum,
certainly remember his ordering sew
eral bottles of Burgundy" Judge
Really? And pray, what did you give
him?"-L Broutteux.