River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-10-25
SENATORIAL REPARTEe.
sharp Replies Indicative of the Character

cuArp htphee VI INC
of Noted Statesmen.
When Col. Thomas Ochiltree was in
congress he was popular, not only be-
cause he is a prince of good fellows
with all the world, but for his ability
20 return sharp answer where occas-
ion seemed TO demand quick wit and
ready tongue.
''Ochiltree," a member said to him
one day, with an impertinent sheer
that grated on the coloners sensibili-
ties, If / had your cheek I'd be on top
of the heap"
"You snipe," exclaimed the colonel,
''if you had my cheek and your brain,
you'd be kicked out of every decent
place"
Thaddeus Stevens possessed the same
gift, and old members of the house tell
one auecdote of an occurrence in
which Mr.. Stevens and the speaker OF
the house got into sharp tangle, end
ing in Stevens savagely rolling up
some documents on which he had been
addressing the chair, and turning his
back to the speaker in the most i'm
polite way while passing furiously NJ
the aisle toward the cloakroom.
sis the gentleman trying TO show his
contempt for the speaker" shouted
that dignitary.
"No!" Numbered back Stevens, turn
ing around facing the wielder of the
gavel; 81 am trying my blamedest to
conceal it"
A very interesting episode occurred
between Representative Conger, of
Michigan, afterward senator, and Sun
set Cox, then speaker.
1t was well known that Mr.. Conger
had an affection which gave him great
pain, and often in debate caused
him TO writhe and squirm fero-
ciously. 1t was said that it
was liver troubles, and that he
wore liver pad to alleviate his suffer
! ings- One day Conger was particularly
irascible and provoking. He was
writhing, screwing his face into grim
ace of pain, and holding on TO his side,
while at the same time making a stub
born objection to some ruling of the
speaker. 1t annoy Cox so that he said:
Take off your liver pad and get a
bottle of liverettes, those famous little
liver pills, which are a ro 5itive cure
for constipation, sick headache, bilious
ness and all troubles caused by a torpid
or inactive liver"
Most members have heard the story
of Cox's bargain with Joe Cannon, who
used to have a fashion of constantly
gesticulating and humping his desk
with his left hand while speaking. His
experience with Cox is said to be re-
sponsible for the fact that he does not
do so now to the extent of formerly.
Mr.. Cox was addressing the house, and
Mr.. Cannon asked permission to inter
rupt him. 1t bothered Cox, but he ex-
planned:
"All right, l will let the gentleman
interrupt me, and allow him to talk so
/ long as he keeps his left hand in his
trousers pocket"
Cannon accepted the pr opposition, and
pushed his side wheel into his pocket.
Cox waited. Just as Cannon launched
himself into his subject with full en-
ergy, out came that left fin, and began
to beat the desk.
II will resume my speech. The gem
tleman has pulled his hand out of his
pocket" exclaimed Mr.. Cox, and went
on as though nothing had happened,
while the house roared with laughter.
Cannon never has seen the point of the
joke.
Mr.. Springer has several times been
the victim of Mr.. Reeds sarcasm, but
the story that the members who were
in the fifty-frst congress relish more
than any other is the one relating to
Mr.. Springer's ringing declaration in
the course of speech: I'D rather
be right than be president"
You'll never be either, Springer"
said Mr.. Reed. with a bene rolent
smile
"Its a good thing" said a member,
who listened to the story in the speak
er's lobby, that Reed didn't live fifty
years ago"
"Why?" inquired another.
because he would have been chal-
lenged to fight a duel, and he is so
huge no bullet could have missed
him."
1t is to Alexander Stevens that n good
congressional story is attributed.
One irate member, smarting under
Stevens sarcasm, in fit of passion de-
clared, I'll eat you up!''
IF you did" was Stevens ready re-
ply, you'd have more brains in your
stomach than you have in your head"
Washington Post.
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