davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1894-06-02

Jimson-Is Mr.. Noodles in?
Boy-Not yet, but | expect him every
minute.
"It's 10 O'Clock, isn't it?"
Most. The clock will strike in half
a minute, if not sooner. There she goesv'
"All right. l promised to be here at
10 O'Clock and pay him some money.
Tell him called, and he wasn't in"
brushes off).-New York Weekly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1894-06-02
Something Wrong.

Mamma-Oh, l am terribly worried
about Robbie!
Papa-What is wrong with him now?
Some simple little ailment?
Mamma-No. He has washed his face
twice without being told.-Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17
MAKING THE MOST OF ICE

The amount Office wasted before lear e
how to take care of it was something amaZ
ing" said young housekeeper to a writer on
household topics. 81 started in with the
notion that ice had to melt about so fast any
way, and that whatever saw fit t, do with ii
would make no particnl,r difference. There
fore, left it, go to waste, and paid ice bills
that almost took my breath away.
"One day an old fellow, who was, imagine
supply on the ice wagon, for never saw
him before or since, gave he some points.
He showed me that ice has a grain and that if
worked with the grain could split off pieces
of almost any size or shape ! wanted | was
comfortably handy with too'S, and he showed
me how to saw part way into large cake,
then with hammer and any pointed instrumrn
crack off the pieces the size | required. | dis
cove red long ago that unless | have very
large family large refrigerator is Simply a
useless extravaganza, so | brought down 10
the kitchen little pall,r ice-box that | had
when boarded and tor a family of four il
answered every purpose.
"The ice man brings fifty pounds of ice
twice week. | put it into large cloth,
around which are wrapped some pieces of felt
and blanket. rhe porcelain t INK in the ice
box is about ten by twelve inches in size, and
into this put piece of ice every morning.
| taking care to keep the rest well covered. |
fluid this all that is necessary and am saved
| the trouble of looking after large ice box,
that which imagine nothing more taxing.
The little box has porcelain tank with ii
| faucet from which the water is drawn as it
melts. find, by the way, that this water,
carefully strained through a thick cloth, the
most luXuriODS article for nv )ilet. IL is
| simon pure soft water and all the year round
| use it in preference TO any other. uti izing
this sort of Thing is, Thing is, in my mind,
among the fine points of housekeeping, and
often wonder that more women do not study
| the little ifs and ands of everyday life, and
| learn t, turn to account everything that comes
| in their way"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17
NHARLES H. STANLEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,

Will be in Upper Marlboro every Tuesday, and
during the of the Court Postoice address,
iii the interim, Equitable Building Baltimore and
Laurel, Md.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17
TRIALS OF A TEACHER.

"If there were thee peaches on the table
James, and your little sister should eat on of
them, how many would be lefl?" asked the
teacher.
"How many lltll. sisters would be lefl?'
asked James.
"Now listen James. If there were three
peaches on the table, and your little sister
were to eat one, how many would be
lefto'
! ave amt had peach in the house this
year, let alone three"
eve are only supposins the peaches TO be
the table, James,"
"The they wouldn't be real peaches. would
they"
"No."
"Would they be preserved peaches
'Centainly not'"
"Pickled peaches"
"No, no. There wouldn't be any peaches
at all, as told you, James, We are only
supposing the three peaches To be there
Then there wouldn't be any peaches at
all, of course
"Now, Johnny, put that knife in your
pocket or will take it away, and pay at,en-
ton to what am saying to you. W., imagine
three peaches on the table"
YES"
"And your letlle sister eats one and then
goes away"
ayes. but she wouldn't 90 away until she
has finished the three. You don't know my
little sister,
"But suppose our mother was there, and
wouldn't let her eat but ON, ~
"lother's out of town, and won't be ha,
Tell next week.
"Now, James, will put the question once
more and if you don't answer correctly |
shall keep you after school"
James braced up.
"Yes'm.'
off three peaches were on the table a d
your little sister were to eat one of them, how
many would be left"
There wouldn't be any LEFT III take me
other two"
The teacher touched the bell
"The scholars are now dismissed. j ,mes
Fay will remain where he is
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Knocked into a cooked hat-The cIeas,

Knocked into cooked hat-The crease.
A young man is theory; an old man a
fact.
A boys idea of glory is to play baseball in
''sut'
dosen't mind being warm
As soon man announces that he
is reformer, he ought to be arrest
ed.
The baseball pl ,yer would be all right if
he could only play as well as he practices.
Man is made of dust; his name becomes
Mud through the watering cart of Fate.
mans confidence in his own experience
is in inverse proportion to his age
Hunger is the best sauce but when you
have no other it is fatal t, the stomach.
Women never get over the notion that they
are entertaining angels unawares.
Be polite to everybody. There's no telling
when you may have some thing TO sell.
A groWl 'r is man who would much rather
sleep in cycl ,ne than in an ordinary draft.
women draw their chairs up closer. and Will
per.
"Thus we part, wretch, and this is the last
letter from your unhappy Anna Z. $
Laundry machinery really seems to have
reached the st tge of perfection. 1t can de-
troy collar in a single wash.
81 fail" said the boarder, fIaltcally saw
ing at the STEAK, "to fluid a weak point in this
Armour p'ate,'
Hiland-"What nuisance that csotist
Spudkns ~, H.lket-'Risht you are He's
a regular ~ sore"
1t is supposed that The fashion among
women of reading the final pages of a novel
first is due to their prediction for the list
word.
Clara-'.When you refused Freddie, did
you tell him to brace up and be man.
Saddie-.'No, l didn't want t, be unreasoE-
able.'
1t is always discovered, when a man is killa
while engaged in some hazardous business,
that it was his intention 10 have retiled next
year.
Hungry HIggins-'Say, it amt hot the
on the road, near ner nuthin'." Weary Wat
kins-"Y OF said'er. Don't you visit we was
| in some nice, cool .il?"
Mrs. Carson-'I hear it was a runaway
IN atch' Mrs. NoHes--'Yes. The bride and
her father caught up to him with peracher
when he was trying t. escape
DocteI-"Let's see, did l prescribe for you
the last time you were here?' Palient-.'Lei
me see-oh, yes. l remember now, for | was
| deadly six all the next day"
"Did Miss Fyppe receive many proposals
while at the seashore?" MANY? Why, receiv.
ing proposals got to be habit with her She go,
so she couldn't even h ear a soda water bottle
pop without exclamng, This is SO sudden
Mr. Dun--"But, my dear fell w this account
has been running seven years" Scientific
| Debtor-'Thats right, old man. But you
know every atom of mans system change:
in seven years. l am not the man who bought
the goods
The good, kind old gentleman looked down
benignantly On the small urchin backing his
shols. "Now, my bov."he said, after he had
/ Gpis hoI 10 SIo,b
think if gave you nice new 81 bil?" The
boy, down OH all tours, cooked his head up al
his prospective benefactor. 81 gness I'd think
you wanted ninety five cents change" he re
piled, and the subsequent proceedings proved
his guess to be correct.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17
THE REASON WHY.

A soldier being photographed, happened 10
mention the name otihe regiment to which he
belonged whereupon the photographer said
that he had photographed the col mel Of the
same regiment, and showed the private a
copy.
"By George" said the soldier, Give seen
Colonel good many times on the parade
giound, to say nothing of the Soudan, and he
never looked like that"
"Yes," said the pilot ,grapher, 'bLt you
must recolect that the colonel was neither
on parade nor in the Soudan when he was
photographed
'.Weli, but I've seen him alone, and he
always looks as if he We're going to jump down
your throat. In this photo you'd think he
couldn't say boo 10 a goose. Was he alone
" hen he came here??'
"Well, no. said the photographer, with un-
consciously irony, '.he had his wife with
him."
"Oh." said the S, ! Iier, lhoughtfuly "that
accounts for t."
Jones; | didn't see you at church last
Sunday.
Smith: No, You We're see ring sweety when
got in.
Jones; That man says he is not afraid of
work.
Smith: Why should he br? He never gets
near it,
band is never her ideal.
Juno: You don'.o WE'LL her Idle ii is un-
attainable
Miss Highland is rather Eighty girl, don't
you think?
Not much. asked her to tly with me, and
she fatty refused.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17
THE GIRL OF SIXTEEN,

We saw girl OH the streets to-day and for
moment wondered why her dress fit her so
perfectly, and why she was SD bright and pref
ty. why her bangs were curl ID just, right, and
why she was altogether ABOUT the pre- lest
thing on earth. Then it suddenly occurred t,
us that it was because she was sixteen wears
old. There never was a girl Of sixteen that
was not pretty; there never was a dress that
would not look well on girl of sixteen
Although the dogs may bark a. woman
when she is twenty five or thirty, She was
pretty at sixteen .-Atchi, on Globe
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17

When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria.
When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria.
When she became Miss, she chung to Castoria
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-08-17

FrdmiRg ana CompiGiSnnt
The atpeacc with thc-world feeling existing
In the bosom of w. Il. Brown, Viola, Iowa when
he wrote: THE doctors pronounced mine q
severe case of blood poisoning caused by kidney
disease Kept my bed two months. They gave
me up to die, when | got DR.. FCnncrs Kidney
and Backachc Cure. Soon commenced diScharC-
ing matter in the urine After taking five bot
ties, l got all right well and sound 1t is re-
garded as n wonderful cure was expected to
die as am 20 years Old" This would be won
derful If we were not used to receiving Just such
letters. Equally good in female COMPLAINTS
rheumatism, heart disease, dropSy and ali
blood diseases Restores the kidneys purities
the blood and heals the diseased tissues Health
is the result If satisfaction not given money
refunded. Take home Il bottle to-day.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
Give Him q Map.

An old Confederate, DR.. j. H. Dorsey,
aged 81 years, came through here on
foot, Friday, pushing baby wagon in
which was little grandson about two
years old. He was destitute of means
and was on his way from Louisville,
KY, to Chattanooga, and will wheel the
baby all the way if he cannot procure
the means to ride.-Fdyette Register Dem.
Ocrdt
1t strikes us that Washington G. H. is
out OF the direct line between Louisville
and Chattanooga. A man who would
take that route and walk and push a
baby buggy all the way ought to be pre-.
sented with good modern map of the
world, in order that he may the better
choose his way through the arctic re-
gions, past the North Pole, and down
through Siberia, China, Siam, Corneo,
Australia and Wilkes Land, past the
South Pole, then up through Victoria
Land, skip across the islands to Cape
Horn and on through Patagonia, Argen-
tine, Bolivia, Brazil, Colombia, Central
America, Mexico, Texas, Louisiana,
Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and at
last to Tennessee, to the point OF desti'
nation. We certainly wish the old Con-
fed. a happy journey.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
A Little Leak.

The Cincinnati water works authori-
ties publish the following reminder of
waste liable to occur through different
sized orifces
A 32nd OF an inch opening will dis.
charge 2SS gallons in "a hours.
10Th inch, will discharge 1852 gallons.
An Sth.inch, 460S gallons.
A l6th.inch, 10,59S gallons.
A 4th-inch, lS,432 gallons.
A sth inch, AZ 392 gallons.
A halfinch, 1928 gallons.
A one inch, 294, 1912 gallons.
Uuder fire pressure it is claimed the
amounts would be greater.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
Aliens Discovery For Piles.

Aliens Discovery for Piles is certain
cure for all forms OF piles. DO you have
soreness and chatting with intense itch.
ing often at night? 1t is dangerous 10
neglect these symptoms. If you have
suffered for years with chronic piles and
feel you can't be cured, give Aliens Dis.
covery one trial. 1t is new discovery
that cures piles. Sold by all druggists.
Price 30 cents. Sent by mail for so cts.
Address, Aliens Discovery, B,x8s, IL.
Roy, N, Y.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
The Chicago, Milwaukee Il st. Pau
R'y Runs

R'y Runs
Electric lighted vestibuled trains, be.
tween Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Paul and
Minneapolis, daily.
Through parlor cars on day trains be.
tween Chicago, st. Paul and Mime.
apolis.
Electric lighted vestibuled trains be-
tween Chicago and Omaha and Sioux
City, daily.
Eight fast trains, each way, daily,
between Chicago and Milwaukee.
Solid trains between Chicago and
principal points in Northern Wisconsin
and the Peninsula OF Michigan.
Through trains with palace sleeping
cars, free chair cars and coaches between
Chicago and points in Iowa, Minnesota,
Southern and Central Dakota.
The finest dining cars in the world.
The best sleeping cars. Electric read.
ing lamps in berths.
The best and latest type of private
compartment cars, free reclining chair
cars and buffet library smoking cars.
$3.50 miles of road in Illinois, Wis
consin, Northern Michigan, Iowa, Min
nesota, Missouri, South Dakota. and
North Dakota.
Ticket agents everywhere sell tickets
over the Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul
R'y or address Geo. H. Heafford, Gen'l
Pass. Ag't. Chicago, Ill.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
New Lien law.

What is known as the Clark bill
amending the lien laws of the State Of
Ohio, 80 as to protect the material
men as we'll as the general contractor,
has by the recent action of the State
Legislature, become law, and 1t is Of
the very highest Importance that this
measure be thoroughly understood
by every person connected with the
building traies, and also by the people
who contemplate the erection OF houses.
Under the new law the owner is made
directly responsible for all material
which has been put.into his house, and
if, after he has given check to his
general contractor to cover every dollar
which was called for by the terms OF the
contract, it should chance that some of
the sub-contractors had not paid for
the stone or other material which went
into the buildings, then the material
man can file lien and hold the owner
good for the bill. OF course, if the gen.
eral contractor is financially responsible
the owner can collect the amount Of the
claim from him, and he in turn can col.
lect from the sub-contractor, bat if either
of these cannot be collected from, then
the loss must of necessity fall on the last
person who is responsible, and OF course,
the owner takes the chances of ofhaving to
pay it himself without recourse. The
new law overturns all the old methods,
and is causing no end of care to the con-
| tractors.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
The Jim Grow Law.

A Kentucky sheriff recently obtained
judgment for damages in the sum Of
$1,000 for being compelled by the officers
of railroad to ride in the cars set apart
for colored people, the sheriff having in
charge colored prisoner whom he could
not leave.
Nothing like style when you are trav-
cling and Kentucky colonel can't be
permitted to ride in the same car with a
colored man. When our neighbors
south of the river get tired of this Jim
Grow business they may come back to
common sense in the matter of trans
portation laws.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

The North american Review for Septem.
Der contains, among other timely papers
three valuable articles on the relations
of "China and Japan in Korea" written
by three men specially qualified to deal
with the question: The Hon. Angus.
tine Heard, late United States Minister
to Korea; Durham White Stevens,
Counselor of the Japanese Legation al
Washington, and Howard Martin, Ex.
Secretary of the United States Legation
at Pekin,
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

T.. F. Anthony, ex-postmaster OF
Promise City, Iowa, says: II bought
one bottle Of Mystic Cure for rheum.
atism and two doses OF it did me more
good than all the medicine ever took. {"
Sold BY W. r. Smith 4 Co., Druggists,
Hillsboro, Ohio.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

Every honest Democrat must feel re.
lieved that the farce is over, whether it
wound up to his liking or not. Never
did promise so brilliant lead to per-
formance so pusillanimous.-Louisville
Courier-Journal DEM.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

The special fashion feature Of Harper''
Bazar for the 25th inst. is front page
illustration of Paris frocks for girls, in
appropriately simple designs. There is
fine double page picture, by Thul-
strup, of a yachting episode, accompa.
MED by an article by ]. H. Sears. The
literary feature is an illustrated short
story, "Cast Upon the Waters" by the
late Howard Seely.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
SOMETHING
FOR
EVERYBODY.
Are You Looking for Land ?

Take trip over the Great Northern
to nertherng Minnesota and North Da.
kota, and you can satisfy your yearnings.
The Red River Valley, the Devils Lake
District and the Turtle Mountain coun.
try invite investigation and settlement.
These localities offer free homestead,
cheap lands and good climate to Eastern
farmers who have vainly toiled for ears
to get ahead and pay off "that little
mortgage" 1t is the country, too, for
the grown.up sons to whose sturdy labor
the small Eastern farm no longer gives
adequate returns.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
Are You an Eastern Renter

Are You an Eastern Renter?
The renter generally expends his
energies for another. To occupy and
begin the cultivation of homestead
means the creation at once OF property
worth a thousand dollars or more, and
every year thereafter the equivalent Of
a laboring mans wages back east will be
added to the value of the farm.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

English Spawn Liniment removes all
hard, soft, or calloused Jumps and bleia.
ishes from horses, blood spavins, curbr,
splints, sweeney, ring-bone, stiles,
sprains, all swoolen throats, coughs, etc.
Save $50 by use OF one bottle. Warranted
the most wonderful Blemish Cure ever
known. Sold by w. R. Smith d Co.,
druggists, Hilsboro. Ohio.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

A western editor in answer to the COM
plant of subscriber that he did not
give news enough, advised him when
news was scarce to read the Bible, which.
he had no doubt, would be news to him.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
Are You a Manufacturer ?

If you are crowded where you are now,
or if raw material is getting scarce, take
a look at the Northwest 1t is full oi
resources of woods, clays, minerals, and
products of various sorts. There are
undeveloped water powers. sYou can
find material and power in close associ
alton. The railway affords cheap facili
ties to markets.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
Are You in Poor Health ?

The Northwest is one vast sanitarium.
There is notable freedom from fogs
and raw chilly weather. The bright
sunshine and the bracing air put vigor
into the steps of men and paint roses in
the cheeks of women, with colors not to
be found in the drug stores. There are
hot springs, too, along the line of the
Great Noithern, in the West, noted for
healing many human ailments.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

Oneman-I live five miles from town,
and can drive home with load in ball
an hour.
Tother-"Not with load like you
had last night"
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06

Do You Like Stock Raising
The best of opportunities await you
in the Northwest. The finest horses,
cattle and sheep in America roam over
the pasture lands of Minnesota, the Da.
kotas and Montana. The whole country,
too, is adapted to the poultry industry.
The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-09-06
Saxby,s Query to Ipgersell.

This beautiful song, words and music,
regular sheet music size,) win be mailed
TO anyone enclosing cents in stamps to
, DIG Edwards, General Passenger Agent:
@. H. & D. r. r Cincinnati, Ohio.