Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1894-01-25
lake no Substitute for
Royal Baking Powder.
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All others contain alum or ammonia
ONCE WAS ENOUGH
Mr.. Mcswat Makes an Invasion Into -
Lower Regions.

mr. "oS"at Nakes an Invasion Into ,b,
Lower Regions.
"Harkl What's thatyn
Mrs. McSwat sat bolt upright in bed and
listened. ~ Oeu anu
"Billiger" she exclaimed in a horse wbis
per- shaking her snoring husband, ~ bea,
snoisew Hee''
"Wh-wh-what' Whereg, said Mr. Mo
swat waxing with jerk. What's the
matter, Lobelia:" 'He
"Sh! Listen! There it is again, 1.s
nown stairs. Billiger, there's somebody in
the housem III
Billiger listened moment.
She was right.
Ihere was noise down stairs-a sbut.
ming, stealthy kind of noise, as if made Inv
somebody who was unacquainted with the
premises and had no business there
lie rose and dressed himself by thrust;no
MS leet IN Il pair of slippers and pulling on
dressing gown. Then he lighted a Sart
lantern he had purchased for emergencies
OF thls Kind, armed himself with a potent
carpet stretcher-one of the deadliest we.n.
ons known to science-aud turned to his
wife W MS
LoDella," he whispered huskily. "remaip
here. You can do no good. will meet this
invader alone. But stayl II there sbonld
De more than one" he continued. prinding
mis- teeth, "and you hear me cali ont Won
may come to the top of the stairs and veil
Make all the noise you can. 1t will co,,vev
the impression that we are expecting them
and are prepared"
with his dark lantern in one hand and
'ne ueauly carpet stretcher in the other he
started slowly down the stairway, coughing
loudly as he went.
MIS- McSWat listened with painful eager.
ness. she could hear Blliger raspng his
terrible weapon against the balustrade and
coughing with violence that increased
every moment.
presently the noises ceased. 1t was evil
uent That Billiger was searching the house
with view to slipping upon the marauders
unawares
Then there came a wild yell.
without waiting to assure herself wheth.
er 1t came from Billiger or the burglars
Mrs. McSwat seized chair, ran to the head
OF the stairs, screamed with all her might.
tumbled the chair down to the floor below,
rushed back for the washbowl and pitcher,
sent them flying after the chair and hurled
down broom, another chair, a small trunk
bootJack and several other articles of
portable nature that stood or lay within
reach, her voice ringing out all the time in
series of wild, blood curdling shrieks
While the din was at its height Mr., Bill
ger McSwat appeared at the foot of the
stairs
"LobeliaI' he shouted, dodging nimbly
rs towel rack flew past his head. what
on earth do you mean by this internal rack
eti You've broken 500 worth of furniture
and reused the neighborhoodl The police
and the fire department will be here if Won |
don't st6pr'
Wasn't there any burglar, Billigerp
asked Mrs. McSwat.
"Burgar" snorted Billiger, climbing
over the ruins in the hallway and bounding |
up the stairs three steps at time Bur.
glarl mol 1t was only the cat. Didn't
you hear it screech when kicked it out of
the parlori Burglarr' he exclaimed con.
temptuously, throwing the patent carpet |
stretcher under the bureau, extinguishing
the dark lantern and crawling between the |
sheets again. "Lobelia, if you hear any |
more burglars or thieves or robbers in this |
house tonight and wake me up again there's |
going to be trouble, madam. Go to bedp
And all the rest of the long, weary night |
Lobelia lay abed, wide awake, and listened |
to the deep, regular, ceaseless snoring of |
Mr. Billiger McSwat.-Chicago Tribune.