St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-07-22
IN THE TRADE.
Retired British Officers Act as
Tea Drummers.

Tea Drummers.
London Cor. in New York Herald.
Half-pay colonels in the British army
are adding to their incomes in a way
that has given life new terror. They
are acting as agents for tea companies.
This isn't reprehensible in Itself, but
the way in which they sell the tea is.
The woman of the house-they select
always rich and fashionable abode
receives a card bearing the name, "Col-
0nel 1ndoo Jaundess," for instance. She
has never heard of Colonel Jaundess,
but she snpposes it is all right and flut-
tiers down to the reception room to meet
him.
The gallant half-pay officer. with
white mutton-chOp whiskers and we'll
fed, carmine face, is faultlessly attired.
He BOWS killingly as the uuwary host
ess enters. Then. after few prelim
mary remarks about the dullness of
trade. he tells her that with money ct
per cent and Jabez Balfour in Argen-
tine times are somewhat hard. This she
assents to, but looks little puzzled. as
if she didn't quite see how this fact
should have led to the honor OF a visit
from Col. JaundeSs.
At this he smiles in superior way.
and, beaming all over with happiness
at the interesting news he has to confide,
he tells her that this is Just the point.
and that the low price of stocks has led
him into little piece OF enterprise on
his own account Then, before any
thing else can be done to prevent him,
he produces from a hind pocket half
pound sample OF hyson and Smilingly
asks her TO buy it and to become regu-
lar customer.
| A pompous little major, who was
drumming for a tea house, in this way
got into the presence Of prim old
maiden lady, who was much embar-
raised, not knowing how to get rid of
him. and wishing not to offend one Of
so much pretention TO ''gentllity." See
ing her confusion. and miStaking it for
love at first sight. the major burst out
with a declaration. He said that he
noticed she was OF shrinking, timid
nature, and needed protector, and
how would be do: They could put their
| incomes together. he argued, and, per
| haps, be very comfortable.
She noticed also that he needed a pro.
| tector. She rang for the footman, who
was feet 3.
| 1t is not surprising. therefore, that at
| West End mansions particular atten.
| ton is paid to military visitors by the
servants. They say that when Gen.
Roberts called upon a lady once the
| butler said to her: 81 asked him if he
was selling tea, mum, so as to make
sure"
At an sat home" a young man was
ushered in as ''Mr. Teenum." The
hostess was civil to him, thinking she
had met him somewhere, and intro
duced him to everybody. He showed
no inclination to go. and, in fact, outsat
all corners. They were alone
81 know you'll forgive me-" she said
sweetly, ''but I've actually forgotten,
Mr.. Teenum, where l had the pleasure
of meeting YOU"
| son! You never met me BEFORE" re-
piled the youth, coolly. The fact is, ]
am selling tea of new brand, which
Pm sure you'll like. | came on your
at home day SO as to be sure Of finding
you In"
Il didn't expect to have to wait SC
long to get you by yourself" he con-
| tlnued, shut now we are together. and
all those dreadful people have gone-1
thought some of them would never
leave-we can talk business.
| ''Tve been sampling your tea" he
| proceeded. I'm fact, have had at least
dozen cups. and l think we can beatit
hollow at tuppence pound cheaper
| gu see, our nrln, being In the, etc."
But soldiers aren't the only ones In
England who go in for tea. Artists
have taken I'D the subject. 1t is simply
firing to see at the academy this year
how many painters have set their caps
at tea merchants by painting such sub
| jects as Pouring Out Another Cup
and THE Old Tea Caddy That Grand
ma Used to Own" or Teapot Talk"
These works of art-or some of them
are painted in the hope that some
firm that advertises will buy them for
the chrome market. Ever since a soap
house purchased picture by Millais at
large price artists have worked with
an eye to this particular chance. Such
titles as ''Soapsuds in June" and
Psyche at the Washtub" permeate the
catalogue. Overtures have even been
made to canned beef men and Nubbins'
hair restorer. If this isn't art, what is
If fhnno