The Washington times., 1894-04-22
HITS-OR MISSES.

Col Breckenridge will begin to execute his
grand reelection skirt dance in the Lexing-
ton opera house on May 5. For further par
ticulars see small bills.
1t looks as il Governor Tillman would be
obliged to open the back door.
One reason why Lord Rosebery doesn't fill
Gladstone's place is that he is not S4 years
old.
Some day we shall price few $4,000
houses in Washington and so establish our
credit.
1t appears that Henry S. Ives with all his
stealings, was only able to leave 100000. Pity
the poor.
Col. Watterson considers the Wilson tariff
bill gold-brick swindle upon the people.
1t appears that veragua has gone into poll
tics: and now we know where Potter Palmer's
money that was raised for him has gone
1t has been suggested that If Mr.. Wolcott's
wants to coin Mexican dollars he ought to
open a saloon in Mexico City.
The Cleveland Plaindealer remarks that
one Of the startling features of the late trial
was the conviction of Col. Phil Thompson.
We hope it will never be necessary to say,
by way OF excuse for the Washington baseball
club, that it was lucky it rained.
1t is hardly likely that DR.. Depew will put
the crown by thrice.
1t looks as II it would be longer time than
ever between drinks in the Carolinas.
Mr.. Harrison thinks that the republic
needn't be despaired of so long as it has
chance to re-elect ex-Presidents.
May we shiver our timbers If we are not
glad to shake with Admiral Benham.
Senator Hoar now threatens to address the
Coxey army when it comes.
1t seems, Governor Tillman, as if the su-
preme court of South Carolina, as we'll as
many plain, everyday citizens of your state,
was loaded.
Attorney General Olney is a discriminating
baseball crank. He used to be the pitcher of
the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe nine.
Possibly Mr.. Depew might be nominated
for Vice President under certain circum-
stances.
1t is suggested that Mayor Hopkins. of Chi
cago, is tired of his job. THE TINES suggests
that one Frank Lawler wouldn't object to it.
Probably Senator Allen is right.
1t is said that astronomers have catalogued
1000 double stars. or course, 1t would be
unfair to say that these 1000 were really only
$500.
Andrew Carnegie has not yet expressed
himself on the Coxey movement.
Let US all remember that rheumatism is
really caused by snakes in the blood.
The New York Commercial Advertiser is
impolite enough to say that Mr.. Clevelands
conversation is invariably upgrammatical.
Col. Watterson acts as if he had left the
slaughter house and was rapidly approach
ing the open grave.
Major Estes G. Rathbone is still seeking an
election to Congress from the Third Ohio dis
trict on account OF his brains.
Every esteemed contributor to the columns
of The TIMES will kindly boil it down.
The ancient and honorable artillery COM
pany of Boston conceals but lily its jealousy
of the Coxey army.
I am (platform as-it-is-construed-in-the
South) Democrat J. Jarvis.
The well-known joke about the presence of
the Midway Plaisance in the moral system of |
this country has been credited to almost |
every Washington daily.
rr1.1
Mr.. Quigg when he really gets to talking in
dead earnest
1t should not be forgotten that Col. Brock |
last majority was 1000.
We all want to be very careful, or It won't |
be all quiet along the Potomac.