Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-06-04
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
BROTHER GARDNER TAKES BROTHER
STEPOFF JOHNSON TO TASK.
And Taking the Creation of the World as n
and Interest Himself In More Useful Mat


and Interest Himself In More Useful Mat
tiers.
[Copyri-ht 1894, by Charles b. Lewis.l
Am Bruddcr Stcpotr Johnson in de
hall dis cavcnin?" inquired the president
of the Limclliln club rs he rose up and
glanced up and down the aislcs.
He arr promptly replied voice from
the region of the alley stairs.
Den he will please step dis way"
Brother johnson is nearly feet high
as thick corn cOlOred envelope and
makes n regular business of having three
different breeds of asthma all at once. He
slouched forward, dragging his long feet
behind him, and when he had reached the
presidents desk Brother Gardner said:
"Brudder johnson, l war obcr to my
family grocery dc oddcr night to see if do
price of turnips had fell, an yo' cum in an
bought five p'unds of buckwhcat flour an
n hunk O. Goldfish"
Yes, sab, 1 was dar, ~ replied Mr.. John
son.
"Yo' was jest about to go when dc ole
man Climax cum in fur pint of lasscs,
an 1t wasn't two minutes bcfo' de two of
yo' was disputin bout how long ago de
world was created.
Yes, sab, but dat ole man hain't got
no sense in his head. -
II heard yo' call him q liar"
But he dun called me a fule.'
II heard yo' call him crank"
but he dun called me humbug."
Yes, heard it all, an now I want to
hcv lcctle talk wild yo'. Bruddcr John
son, how many vars ago was dis world
creatcu?"
II dunno, sab, but l reckon knows as
much rs dat ole man Climax"
knows muffin tall bout it. OATS whar dc
trubblc Gums in. He said it was 10000
vars ole, an yo' stuck to it dat it WIS
millyOn. Its human natur' dat two in
tclligent pussons will sooner quarrel ODER
what dCy doun' know dan obCr sunthin
dcy kin be sunh oh. What wc doan' know
we try to mako up fur in argument. What
we lack i'll argument we try to mako up
in blab. If We can't bring n man to see
things rs we do, we call him fulc,"
How does he know dis world am 10, 900
vars OLE" demanded Brother johnson,
with show Of spirit.
How does yo' know it's millyon?"
blandly replied the president. "Mcbbc
yo'vc got some later news dan dc rest of
us, but doubt it. Let me say to yo' rs
folders:
What yo' believe in wild all yo'r heart
may be altogether wrong
DE man who draps argument fur abuse
admits dat he has no case.
De man who will admit his ignorance
has chance to learn wisdom; de man
who won't must contincr to be Il fulc.
"Yo' may silence Il man by holdin an
Ak above his hCaU, nut he dean undergo no
change of opinyun.
DO man who pridcs hissclf on allus
bcin right makes brass take de place of
knowledge.
1t am only fulc who believes dat dis
thing or dat thing am so bekasc he has
heard himself say So
"Bruddcr johnson, when yO' stood dar
wavin dat buckwhcat flour in ono hand an
dc goldfish in de oddcr an calm dat ole
man an idiot case he wouldn't add 900, 600
vars to dc aiayc of dc world to please yo
I was ashamed dat yo' belonged to dis
club. When yo' went out an dat grocery
man axcd me who dat outrageous Niger
was, l dun made OF: dat I didn't hear &c
question, an felt put out dat forgot
to inQuar bout &C turnips.
"1'2c sorry" Eumbly replied Brother
johnson rs his knees wahhlCd under him.
III l meet dat ole man Climax agin, jest
gwinc to walk right by him an say nuf
fin"
Il reckon yo'd better, fur l tells yo
plainly dat yo has cum powerful nigh git
tin bounced outer dis club. No 0rup back
dar hy de stove an Sot down an stay sOt an
chaw de cud of rrtlcckShun. De next time
yo meet Il pus,on who fruWs his arms
around his head an yclls at de top ot his
voice dat h knows de exact ajS' Of de
airth yo' want to exhibit some sense III
yo'r head. -
Il will, sab"
70 tako yo'r buckwhcat flour in one
hand an yo'r Goldfish in dc oddcr an slip
right out an git fur homo an leave him TO
talk to n box of cloth"spins On dc way
homo yo' kin console yO self wild dc rriicck-
shun dat II dc par Of yo' was TO kick an
bite and gougc an pull ha'r an tear up
fo'ty rods Of sidewalk it wouldn't make
dc slightest difference bout dc aigc of de
world, In my younger days l used to go
around dcclarin dat no whale cher swal-
Tered joiner l didn't see it done an so
wouldn't believe 1t. Ono day met a man
who declared dat de whale did swallCr
joiner. We argued. an VIC hollerrd. We
quarrclcd, an we fit. I broke his nose, an
he split my car, an policeman swallerod
us boat an we got 80 days in dc cooler 1t
am muffin tome bout whales an JonCrs. 1
don't kCCr two shucks whether dc world
am fifty millyon or only 200 Vars old. If
Cain killed Abel, dat was all right; if he
didn't Is was just (lc same. I could hcv q
fight bout SIGH things cherry day in de
week, but what good would it do? While |
am disCusSin Danl in do lions den do |
weeds am CROWN in my tatcr patch, an
while l am punchin de head of dc man |
who doan' believe do story OF de Red sea |
miss two good jobs of whitcwashin. Sot |
down, BruddCr Johnson, Sot down and |
shCt yor head an let dc aigc of dc world |
an all SIGH things slide off yer back an git |
lost among dc pigwCeds an dc thistleo oG
de active present"