The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1894-03-10
THE LINCOLN CLUB.
Caldwell Republicans Begin to Enthuse-Gems Of
Oratory Scattered With Lavish LberaIiN-
The Quntescence Of Wisdom and
EIoquence Fired at tho
Oevout,

Last Saturday night, the Lincoln Re-
publican Club gave an impromptu ex-
hibitiOn at the abode of the late la
mented Canyon County Cafe. At first
it looked as though the audience would
consist mostly of 2x8 scaptling and
bales of Populistic lath. But in the
course of human events more ami
mated and we might say more impress
siOnable audience cOngregated and
when President Gwinn's gavel thumped
the pine table,a goodly number of pa
triotic citizens were in their places.
The minutes of the previous meeting
were read and approved without serious
disturbance and the regular program
inaugurated. Hon. JnO. I. Morrison
being called upon resented the famil-
iarity by occupying the floor for about
Is minutes and indirectly giving the
audience to understand that what the
country needed was little more individ
ual publication. He said that the in
.dividual needs little more moral dici-
pline and that you couldn't make aper-
feet whole out of a lot of imperfect
factors. Mr.. Morrison's effort was pro-
found and scholarly and Immediately
lsidor Mayer arose and went home.
He said that he had shipped all he
could carry for one night and that he
would come back again when his men,
tai digestion had worked off the ban
quet. DR.. w. G. Maxey then came for
ward at the urgent solicitation of the
chair and explained the three epOchs OF
Democracy. Those of 1887, 1860 and
1893, respectively. Then the doctor
read patriotic poem and desisted
amidst great enthusiasm. r. H. Davis
who was quietly sleeping on sack OF
coal behind the stove and dreaming
large bituminOus dreams was rudely
disturbed and wabbled eloquently to
the front. He swayed around fanti-
cally for a few minutes and threshed
the vocal air into turbulent foam. He
made several great hits, some of which
elected painful groans from the afflicted
audience. He occupied % minutes
trying to adjust his peculiar vocabulary
to the raptures of his gesture and then
sat down covered with glory and coal
dust-by request. Hon. Lot l.. Felt
ham then pranced into the arena and
after jerking himself together by tue
impressively aimed bis index
finger at an innocent young man IN the
third row and read the riot act to him.
The youth squirmed and quailed under
the infection but he had to take his
medicine. When Mr.. Feltham starts
in to administer wholesome retribution,
he does it right to the hilt.
Hon. 5. M. Coffin on account of his
good looks responded to the Presidents
announcement with more dignity than
most of his predecessors were able to
manifest. He opened his remarks by
saying that he and the Republican
party were born simultaneously and
then-the war broke out. He also said
that he had voted the Republican
ticket until it had become habitual and
that it was habit which
no evil results, he proposed to
continue exercising it until a more
beneticient dissipation was introduced.
Hon. A. E. GipsOn was aroused from
the depths of profound cogitation and
said that he had been stuck in the mud
all day, which observation was duly
applauded. Then he said he was big
gun while all his predecessors were
sons of guns. Maybe he didn't say
exactly that, but he limited it right
strong. So far as he understood, said
he warmly endorsed all that had been
said and a great deal that wasn't said,
which, however, he could not just then
recall to mind. Then he sat down,
liz ouico Tins c1OSpd one of the most