Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-03-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Sisters OF Charlty-Falth and Hope.
Puck.
Political platforms are commonly
built of deal.
A low voice is an excellent thing in
woman-also low hat.
A coat of mail-The letter-carrier's
livery. Philadelphia Record.
A forced laugh should never be con-
founded with ''strain of mirth."
When money talks, even the purist
does not stop to criticise its grammar.
Puck.
When a good idea strikes musician
it is only proper that he should make
note of it. Buffalo Courier
He--'T think Miss Fairleigh is
dream of beauty" She (spitefully)--
dreams go by contraries. Prick.
The huntsman who brings home the
antlers proves that he has been able to
get head of the game.-Elmira Ga
zette.
Dinks-" "Was Smiths purpose of
whipping the editor carried out?'
Danks-'' ''No; but Smith was. "--Buf-
falo Courier.
Claire" How extremely simple that
gown WAS Miss De We're wore at the
ball" Marie-"Yes; almost idiotic."
Detroit Free Press.
"Serves me right, said the drum.
81 thought could keep tight and
never feel it--and here [ am beaten at
my own game. Truth.
1t isn't always the stenographer that
takes down the Congressman's speech.
1t is sometimes the orator on the other
side.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hicks-"What is that horrible
stencil; gas escaping?" Mrs. Hicks
''No-o-o; cook was out shopping for
perfumerY again to-day. Puck.
There is one thing queer about stairways,
And not in the least bit new;
A man will find creaking step
When he comes home after two
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
''Harduppy tells me he never de.
stroys a receipted bill. +" ''No; he's
more likely to have them framed and
hung up in his parlor as curiosities."
Tit Bits.
Uncle George 81 trust, Henry that
you are out of debt?" Henry-"No,
/ haven't got quite so far as that; but
] am out of everything else. "-Bostol
Transcript.
Mrs. Grit has a constitution like
iron. "What makes you think sop
"Her husband has been troubled with
dyspepsia for eighteen years. New
York Press,
The editor who is always feeling the
pulse of the people is not really inter
ested in their eart-beats. 1t is his
own circulation that he is looking
after. Life
II wish, said railway passenger
as bunch of comics were dropped in
to his lap by the train boy, ''that these
people would quit poking fun At me. -
Washington Star.
Mandy, did you read that notice
on the counter, Your choice for fifteen
cents ? Mandy Land sakes yes
but il looks like an awful price 10 ask
for them clerks. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Visitor "Tommy, | wish 10 ask you
few questions in grammar. Tommy
Yes, sir. III I give you the sen
tence, The pupil loves his teacher,
what II thate' ''SaToasm. '--TeXas
Siitiugs.
Nahsley You say you wouldn't
marry any bat wumanly woman, but
what Is your idea of womanly
woman 2" Nudge ''One Who would
think ! Mas the snartest man on earth.
indianapolis journal
4 lady asked an astronomer n the
moon was inhabited. Madam he
replied, II SNOW At one moon Ia
which there t. alNays uau and a so-
mat (which is that The homes
moon. lanTnsl Amuaaut
Doctor Il lolt iifeetlons that thcsa
pusdefs ahauld he taken before each
meal and onlY tso are sone. Wife
"a annN hnt ynn see eauk ls taking a
vacation aah se only haFe ene meal
laf ehieaso lutef Ocean
FRIEND "Aro Yau hsppaf spirit
thruush mrliHm tsfiectiA en.
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laph aa ms ttmhtiaHa ithHfh smastH
sai leaa aia ue iskaa a.iiipsf
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lhina "a f politics aHlfsa h0f s
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kai Hassf mnAs sH4fhiHs iih.
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