Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1893-1895, 1894-09-29
IN rHE SOCIAL REALx.


AN EVENT.
With the opening Of the society sea-
son each and every one tries TO out
shine the other In AL social events. OF
course q great many differ In opinion
~ TO what is the proper thing to do in
order to be especially noticed in society
and in the columns Of the daily papsEs.
Some resort 10 tea parties, while Others
believe 10 tripping the light fantastic.
But while talking about events 10 so
cial life, Jim Darrow, of S-,uth Salem.
has eeIipsed all Others IN the social
realm 30 far this season. Now, eveFy-
body don't know Jim Darrow. but the
writer Is like the hOOsleF school boy,
he Knows him 'j-u-- st as
w-e-l-l," and will now proceed to
Inform the readers rho Jim Ia. Reader,
were you ever 10 South Salem? II so,
you will probably remember seeing .
little rOund-top cottage perched upon 4
hill, on the road leading out to the
slough, surrounded by fisg-pole, toy
wind mill, large fish for q wind and
weather indicator. and innumerable
martin-boxes for the little birds, all in
dicating the retreat Of some lonely
bachelor who has nothing 10 do
10 his idle moments only to erect these
playthInga and ornaments to his beau
tiful home. Well, this is the abode Of
our hero and bashelor friend. Jim has
had his little cage fixed up for many q
day, longing to ensEare some bird into
the douF, bat success never seemed TO
smile upon him until the past week,
when there csms strolling into South
Salem an elderly maiden lady by the
name Of Anna Mills, who proved to be
rather tame and "Gentle Anna" sort
Of bird, and Jim grabbed her, much
to the regret Of two widows who live
directly acroes the street, and who have
cast many an aFtful aud winning smile
on Jimmy during the past summer.
The marriage ceremony was performed
last Thursday evening. after which .
general rejoicing was INDUCED In by
everybody in the neighborbood. First
to come after the ceremony were the
charivari crowd, who, with horse-fid-
dies and cOw-bells made one think of
the tales Of the doings at the marriages
of our foFefathera. TIE bnys, after
keepiDg up an uneaTthly noise for a
few hours, were invited into the front
yard, where a sumptuous feast Of home
made green apple ples and homemade
cider WAS dished out to them on long
board stretched across the grass. The
boys were not compelled to eat in the
dark as would be supposed, but Jim
had went all around the neighborhood
during the day and had solicited all the
old rags available, which he bad satur-
ated with GOAL oil, aud at his command
to eat, he ignited and raised the oily
rags up on the flagstaff by means of a
rope. Talk aboutthe rays and splsn-
dor OF an electric hight, why it would
have been eollpsed. Barring the odor
OF the burning rags, the pies and cider
smelled and tasted deliciously. After
the boys had finised the pies, and had
drank all of Jim's cider, they craved
one more boon, and that was sight of
the fair bride. Jim could not well
deny this last request, 30 hand in-hand
with his wife he ushered her to the
door, where all were allowed to gaze
upon her lovelinesa. The bride and
groom then proceeded to the yard,
where Jim had loaded q cannon, and
with an American dag in one hand and
q string connecting with the hammer
Of the cannon In the other, the wife
fired q salute.
Here Jim interposed and told all the
guests that they had better
60 home, as he had nothing more for
them to eat and was unable to en-.
tertain them further, when the noisy
crowd quietly dispersed.
A serenads party visited the house
soon after the disappearance of "the
boys" and sang several beautiful Sun
day school hymns, among which were
the ballads Nearer My God to Thee"
Everything is now moving along
Serenely with the newly welded
couple, who are Jointly the owners Of
nag-pole, cannon, weather indicator,
Windmill, cottage and numerous other
etceteras.
Prepared Of the best materials, COM
pounded by expert chemists, DIR. Prices
Baking Powder IL Perfect.