davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
THUMB PRINTS. "
BY Mark Twain.
(From Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calenda
for 1S94)

January so needs reforming
as other peoples habits.
February.-Behold the fool saith; "Pu
not all thine eggs in the one basket,
which is but a manner OF saying, Scat
ter your money and your attention
But the wise man saith: Put all thin
eggs In one basket, and-watch tina
basket"
March.-When angry, count n hun
dred; when very angry, swear.
April 1.-This is the day upon which
we are reminded of what we are on tn
other three hundred and sixty-fow.
May.-It were not best that we should
all think alike; 1t is a difference of opln
ion that makes horse. races.
June.--When / reflect upon the nun
ber of dIsagreeable people who know
have gone to the better world, | am
moved to lead different life.
July 4.-Statistics show that we lose
more fools ON this day than in all th'
other days put together. This proves
Dy the nuIllbcT lSlN III SN'Nh' N''"' N''
Fourth OF July per year is now made.
quate, the country has grown so.
August.-Why is II that we rejoice a.
a birth and grieve at n funeral? Is II
because we are not the person involved
September.-If you pick up starving
dog and make him prosperous, he Will
not bite you. This is the principal diff
ference between a dog and u man,
october.-This is one of the peculiarly
dangerous months to speculate in stock
The others are July, January Septem'
Der, April. November May, March
June, December August, and February
November-Few things are harder t.
put up with than the annoyance of {;
good example.
December.--E Even the clearest ant
NOSE perfect circumstantlal evidence /
likely to be at fault after all,and there
fore ought to be received with grea
caution. Take the case Of any pencil
sharpened by woman; il you have
witnesses, you will find she did 1t with
knife; but II you take simply the as
pect of the pencil, you will say she oic
II with her teeth
Set up and Printed for
Mr.. Wilson
by Henry Butts,
Dawson's Landing, Mo-.
Fine Job Printing
Speciality,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

1t has often been declared by those
who profess to be familiar with the
signs OF the times. that this is woman's
era and there seems to be plenty Of
proof for those who are looking for it.
Occupations which for ages have been
held by men. such as clerSships, &C.,
are In many instances passing into the
hands Of what ras heretofore been
designated as the softer sex" The
sight OF women as ticket-aellers is not
an uncommon one in the Gle sated rail-
road offices iD the East, and quite re-
Gently another city railroad in that
section Of the country has signified its
tntentlon Of dIspIacing its male clerks
by women. incidentally, It Is presumed,
there win be a saving Of few thous-
ana dollars but the main idea Of course
Is the advance Of wonen." Doubtless
in time they win be able TO support
their husbands on their earnings. It is
3 mo-. however that In this country
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
Attempt at Suicide.
II Might Have Been Preysatsd.
rErom the Boston Post.

L
While the walks in the Public Gardeu
we're crowded yesterday afternoon about
4.3O o'clock, people near the entrance gates
at the corner of Beacon and Charles street,
were Mortified to see man suddenly plunge
knife repeatedly into his throat aud fall I'
the ground.
While waiting for a conveyance al Office
questioned the wOuld-be suicide who W"
about 50 years of age, US to his uamc, addres
and reason for wishing TO end h,s life,
the man steadfastly ly refused L give M! n!ul
nation regarding himself. lie was IA zen l.
the Massachusetts General Hospital un'
surgical attendance given him AlthoCG
weak from loss of blood it is probable J..
will recover. About 8 O'Clock last night
hospital attendant got little iitormatic
from him. lie said his name WIS Samu'
D., and THAT he came some weeks fe'
from New Brunswick. The last few day
his head has felt queer, and hc has been va
dering about the city, not knowing which VA.
to turn. What impelled him 10 commit Il!
rash act he was unable to say.
TIs above is the familiar hut terrible
story Il the results of mental deranCemcr'
caused by overstrair of the ner, rus system
People who have di7a,aess, Lcdddcte ~ Joci
ache, or who are troubled with '-i'c;baig ~
dcSpondent feelings, are already welt on ia,
road which leads to insanity aud Su'ciic.
"Dr, Miles Medical Co.: | canot f'G
language in which to express my app'Ccia
ton of the great benefit have derived
from the use Of yow Restorative Ncrline
When life became burden would ne the
Nervine to soothe my weakened r'r ryCS, and
to calm my exhausted and irritable BRAIN
-MRs II. BRowN, Rochester, ~ y.
DR., Miles ReStordiire N0ghc Las uo cquql
in CURING Nervous Diseases. 1t contains
no opates or dangerous drugs. Sold an a
positive guarantee Y all Druggists and
Or, Miles Medical CO. El&hait, Ind.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
THE CHRISTMAS LETTER.


1t is to be regretted that any delay
should have been occasioned in giving
TO the press Of the country and in hay
ing read in the nations congress the
resolutions presented by President Os-
born at the meeting of the Portland
Chamber of Commerce IN Wednesday
The truth or falsty of Pennoyer's state
lnents can be readily established be-
yond fear OF successful contradiction.
In fact, the Oregonian. taking Brad
streets as an authority, shows that lcss
than six per cent of the residents of
Portland are contained in the sum total
of unemployed and those depending
upon them for support, Why, then,
should there be any delay IN branding
Us false the bald statement that-two-
thirds OF the population of O-cSDn are
unemployed and more than one third
without sufficient means Of support il
goes without saying that the per cent
age OF unemployed is greater In Port
land than elsewhere ia the STATE Then
where are the 2i1. 800 unemployed to he
found? "Mr. DE Lashmutt did not con
slider It wise for the chamber to fall
into the governors error Of ovcrdrawing
the picture. If any resolutions were to
be adopted, let them state the state oi
affairs as 1t exists, and show that Port
land is no worse off than any othtl'
city In the country" We quote from
the oregonian's account Of the meeting
OF Portland's Chamber Of Commerce,
That argument, If carried to its log
ical conclusion, would allow the infer
ence to be drawn that Portland's con-
dltion is no worse--but certalaly as
deplorable--as that of Cleveland, Ohio,
where the unemployed and their de-
rendents are shown to number 100000
being s4A per cent of the entire popu-
Is.tion; or that Oregon throughout is
in the same boat with Evansville, Ind
where 45 per cent OF the population
are included in the unemployed and
their dependents. Certainly Mr.. De
Lashmutt's point is not well taken. one
thing Is certain, while money is not
plentiful in Astoria, there are no cases
OF starvation, and but few unemployed,
II we except the property owners whose
employment In the main consists in col
lecting rents and waiting for the build
ing OF a railroad to transcontinenial
connection.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

A report comes from Mexico that
squads Of Chinese are heading Tor the
Rio Grande in confident belief that it
will be an easy matter to cross into ;le
United States territory. Ghe reward ul
the smugglers is rut at $50 pc: lead.
Quite that amount, remarks an ex.
chande, rewarded the agents who par
ticipated In -he extensive Smuggling
by way of Puget Sound ports, aud ?
Chnaman is worth Just as much Crcss-
Ing from Mexico. The sooner regis.ra.
tion is completed the better and even
then there will be deception.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

Property owners have been bro lght
q realization of the fact that in ordei
to bring about fruitful results, the in.
ducement offered for railroad subsid.
must be greater than that subscribed
for the deal with Mr.. Remington. Thi,
is evidenced by the liberality Will
which many have responded during tn,
past two or three days, an exampl,
which will. we trust, be followed b.!
all. An acre of land within the limit
Of the city of Astoria will certainly bo
worth more after a railroad is bull
than could be had for score of acre
under the conditions now existing
Why. then, should holders of realt.
hesitate about making an investmen
which would yield such a magnifcen
return. Happily for the future of the
town, the citizens are now working TO
gether in harmony, and with every
promise of prosperity in the near fu'
ture.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
NERVOUS DYSPEPSIA.

Senator James f. Pierce. OF New York,
writes;
'For the past two years ! have sur.
fered from an an aggravated form OF
nervous dyspepsia have resorted
various remedial agents. deriving but
little benefit A few monts since
friend Of mine suggested the trial OF
Allcock's Porous plasters. Following
the suggestion, have been using the
81 me with the happiest results To
those similarly affected, let me sugges
the manner OF their use. ] place one
over my stomach, one over the hepatlc
region. and one on my back. The eff
feet Is excellent From the day COM
menced their use have been slowly but
surely improving. and am quite conf
dent that by continuing ! shall again
be restored to my accustomed health" :"
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
EXTENDED SYMPATHY.

do unto others as you would have
others do unto you" is sympathetically
shown In the following lines, the pre-
sumption being that sympathy Is poFi'
or akin TO pain or sorrow:
Gentlemen PLEASE send Krause :
Headache Capsules as follows: Two
boxes 10 Flora Seay, HAVANA, N: OAK
Two boxes to Lille Wilcox, Brooklahu,
N. Oak. / have always been great
sufferer from headache and your Cap
sules are the only thing that relieves
me-" Yours very truly,
FLORA SEAY,
Havana, N. Oak.
For sale by Chas. Rogers, Astoria
Or, Sole Agent.
.GITARANTEED CURE.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
Yesterdays WEATHER.

Local weather for the twenty-four
hours ending at p. m. yesterday. fur
nished by the U. S. Department OF Ag
riculture weather bureau.
Maximum temperature, AZ degrees.
Minimum temperature, 20 degrees.
Precipitation. 10 inch.
Total precipitation from July 1st, 1888
10 date, 44.18 inches.
Excess Of precipitation from July lst,
1893 to date, $50 inches.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

The Astorian guarantees to its sub
seribers the largest circulation OF any
newspaper published on the Columbia
river.
Advertising rates can be obtained on
application to the business manager
This paper is in possession Of all the
telegraph franchises, and Is the Only
paper on the Columbia river that pup
fishes genuine dispatches.
TIE Daily Astorian's circulation Is
five times as great as that of the com
bined circulation of the other daily pa
pers OF Astoria.
The Weekly Astorian, the third Old
est weekly in the state OF Oregon, mas,
next to the Portland Oregonian, the
largest weekly circulation In the state.
Subscribers to the Astorian are re-
ouested to notify this Office, without
loss Of time, Immediately they fall to
receive their daily paper, or when they
do not get 1t at the usual hour. BY do
ing this they will enable the manage
ment to place the blame on the proper
parties and to insure speedy remedy
Handley G. Haas are our Portland
agents and copies Of the Astorian can
I've had every morning at their stand
on First street.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
A SURE CURE FoR Piles.

Itching Piles a.e known by moisture
like perspiFatinn. causing intense itching
when warm. This form. as well as Blind.
bleeding or Protruding. Yield at once 10
Or. BosRnko's Pile Remedy. which acts
directly on the parts affected, absorbs
permanent cure 60c. Druggist or mail.
Circulars free. DR. Bosanlgo, 50 Arch
street, Philadelphia. Pa. Sold by J. w.
ftonn.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
NILES NERVE AND LIVER PILLS.

Act on a new notwithstanding
the liver, stomach and bowels through
the nerves. A new discovery. Dr'
Miles Pills speedily cures billiousness'
bad taste, torpid liver, piles, constlpa,,
ton. Unequaled for men, women anu IA
children. Smallest, mildest, suresI. oV
doces 25 cts. Samples free, at Cha''
Rogers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
FOR OVER FIFTY YEARS

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for children teething. IL
soothes the child, softens the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind chollc, ana
is the best remedy for diarrhoea: Tweil-
ty-five cents a bottle. Sold by all drug
gists throughout the world.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
BUcKLEN's ARNIcA sALvE.

The best salve In the world fol- cuts.
bruises. sores, plcers, salt rheum,, fever
sores, tetter, chapped hands, chilbiialns'
corns, and ali skin eruptions, and positive,
ly cures piles, or no pay required, II
Is guaranteed to give perfect SatlslaC. e.
ner box. For sale by Chas. Rogers, sc''
.essor to j. Q. Dement,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
VI" S' .GU4RANTEED CURE.

We authorize our advertised druggist i5S
TO sell DIR. Kings New Discovery for Con- Con
condition. If you are afflicted with "a
Cough, Cold, or any Lung. Throar s1edv Gv
as directed, giving 1t a fair trial, and tSo eX-
perience no benefit, you may return ,ad tle
bottle and have your money reIudnueu; rIld Sse
we could not make this oifeT oao,erv aio %v
could be relied on. It never disapp9IInt.is,; I.i.i,,
Trial bottles free at Chas. Rogers DRUG
Store. Large size so cts and $l.OO
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
NOTICE.

The 18th series of stock in the As-
toria Building & Loan Association VIII
be opened January 3lst 1884. Iho5e
wishing to subscribe for same WIZ
please call at the office of the secretary
i'll Genevieve street.
w. l.. ROBB, Secretary.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
ToDAY's WEATHER.

Portland, Jan. 4.-For Western Ore
gon and Western Washington, fair
weather, followed by snow, colder.
For Eastern Oregon and Eastern
Washington fair weather, slightly cold
er.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
THE HSTORIASAVIN BHNK

Acts as trustee for corporations and
individuals. Deposits solicited.
Interest will be allowed on savings
deposits as follows:
on ordinary savings books, per cent
FER annum.
On term savings books, per cent per
Gnnum.
On certificates of deposit:
For three months, per cent per an
!.uln.
For six months, per cent per annum
For twelve months, 6 per cent per
annum.
j. Q. A. BOWLBY. 80. ..Vice-President
FRANK PATTON..... Cashier
DIRECTORS:
j. @. A. Bowlby, Gust. Holmes Benz.
Young, A, g. Reed.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

COMMON COUNCIL Regular meet
ings first and third Tuesday evenings
of each month at o'clock in city nan,
Persons desiring to have matters acted
upon by the council at any regular
meeting must present the same to the
auditor and clerk on or before the FIJI
day evening prior to the Tuesday on
which the council holds its regular
meeting. X. OSBUkN'
Auditor and Police Judge.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
BEVERAGES.

ONLY THE PUREST Wines and
liquors are sold at Alex CampDeil
Gem.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

NOTICE-The regular meetings oil
the Astoria Building and Loan Associa-
ton are held at p. m. on the hrst
Wednesday of each month. Office on
Genevieve street, south of Chenamus'
w. L. ROBB, Secretary.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
nnily Astnrta1t,
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
DAILY.

DAILY.
Served by carrier, pepr week. 10 Gus
Sent by mail, per month. W Gus
Sent by mail, per ycar........'.$hVV
WEEKLY.
Sent by mail per year, $500 IN ADVANCE
Postage free to Subscribers
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05
SOCIETY MEETINGS.

PILOT COMMISSIONERs-Thc reg,
ular meetings of this board will be hela
OH the first Monday of each month at
10 a. M, at the Office of Robb & Par
ker. w. L. Robb, Sec.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

OCEAN ENCAMPMENT No. 13, /. o.
o. Irregular meetings of Ocean En-
No. 13, in the Odd Fellows
at p. m, on the second ana
fourth Mondays of each month. So
journing brethren cordially in Ited,
By order [. T.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

WINES AND BRANDIEs.-use zin-
fandel wine instead OF coffee OF yea.
Fifty cents per gallon; Don rl..sh toIsJe
Ea Eeacn ana ma sprirs' ,l,0s At Alex GiIbert's.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-01-05

300. or O cure of Catarrh, offered hy
the makers Of DR.. Sage's Remedy.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1894-10-08
PERILS OF THE WALTZ.

Mr. Rishard Schlingenslepen Is, fortu-
nately, "A living eXempliication of the
danger OF venturing In the glddy mazcs
of the waltz with II partner whose size
and avordupois are greatly in excess
OF your own.
Mr.. X. S.-the full name will be found
above-now lies In the Manhattan Hos
pital with compound fracture of the
leg 1t Is a miracle that he did not
lose his life by suffocation.
Last Saturday night Mr.. s., &c, who
Is Il graceful walter of light weight and
not herculean size, attended reception
and ball at IA west side hall. He engaged
as his partner in the dance II young
woman of expansive form whose classih-
cation as n heavy weight Corbett would
never question. The nimble-footed and
graceful Il. s.. thus handicapped, slipped
and fell. dragging down his amplitudin-
Gus partner. s. was undermost, and
while rescued from suffocation, came out
with n broken leg.
As IA matter IA prudence "A light weight
dancer ought to send his partner to
scale before whiring about with her in
the giddy waltz.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1894-10-08
HIS OWN BOSS.

The Democratic State candidates were
formally notified last Saturday of their
nomination by the Saratoga Convention.
of Senator Hin and that of MIR. Levi +.
Morton on similar occasion.
The Democratic candidates accept
ance is platform in itself He presents
to the people of the State. he says, the
issues of Democracy against PlutOcracy;
Of no public taxation except Cor public
purposes; OF opposition to Capitalization;
intolerance; of good government. liberal
and just excise laws: public economy:
the promotion of the dignity and rro-
lection of the rights of labor; municipal
home rule, the uprootIng Of corruption
and the correction OF abuses everywhere,
whether in Republican or Democratic
localities.
regret that representation in the Sara
toga Convention was denied to "A single
Democratic body or association, and his
recognition that this Is n time when per
sonal sacrifices are demanded: when in
dividual preferences must be subor-
dinated to the general good and when Il
lofty patriotism must be exhibited. can
manly words, "A duty Confronts me,
and | shall perform 1t as God gives me
the light to see 1t, let the results be
what they may" have in them the ring
of the true metal.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1894-10-08
Ounce Preserve.

Pare, core and quarter the fruit, weigh
It and allow an equal quantity OF white
sugar Take. the parings and cores and
put in a preserving-kettle; cover them
with water and boil Tor half an hour;
then strain through a hair sieve and
put the juice back into the kettle and
boil the ounces in 1t, little at time,
until they are tender; lift out as they
are done with a drainer and lay on a
dish; II the liquid seems scarce, add
more water. When all are done throw
in the sugar and allow 1t to boil ten
minutes before putting in the ounces;
let them boil until they Change color,
say one hour and quarter, on slow
fire; while they are boiling, occasion
ally slip a silver spoon under them to
see that they do not burn, but on no
account stir them. Have two fresh lem
ons, cut in thin slices, and when the
fruit is being put in Jars lay slice or
two in each.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1894-10-08
BY NEW YORK EDITORS.

The English Post-Ohlce has always been sup
posed to be the best In the world. Now, how
ever. 1t appears that 50 far as carrying we'd
ding cake safely Is concerned. the English Post
once Is emlnently untrustworthy .-The Times
1t Is becoming more and more evident from
the experience Of missionaries in savage Africa
A. well as semi-barbarous Asia that the sue
cossfui missionary should be healer OF the
body well as Of the mind. Among the more
Intelligent African tribes the missionary doctor
Is heartily welcomed, Press
Maine woollen mill is experimenting with the
manufacture OF It's wool into suits OF clothing
upon Its own premises. Under the Mckinley
law this min did not try any experiments. 1t
was shut down.-Mereuy.
The real-estats market continues to Improve
along all lines. Capitalists who have hitherto
honeseekers who were frightened by the savings
banks scare Of last year. well the builders
and professional operators, now seeking realty
the most satisfactory security that Offers
The Herald.
with the extinction of Holmes. almost the last
OF the literary lights OF New England has disap-
pcared, 1t was noble group. Dana, Percival
is Curtis and Hllmes-all sons of Puritan
commonwealth all children OF the muses.. al!
famous, and all at rest! Wha, wealth Of
genius, OF aspiration, OF beautiful character
and OF noble living those names denote! And
what wonderful variety OF faculties anl
achievements!--Tho Tribune.
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1894-10-08
AMERICAN sNoBBERY ABROAD.

The eXpatriated New York millionaire
who owns the London Pail Mall Gazette
raps the English Anti-Lynching Com
mittee. now visiting this country. over
the knuckles. The object OF this Com
mittee is to impress on the American
people the evils OF lynch law and to in
duce them to forego the practice of fore
stalling justice by occasionally taking the
law and a convenient piece of rope into
their own hands.
Committee nothing short of imperti-
nence." and says that public opinion In
America is enlightened and alert enough
to deal with It's own administrative
abuses. without the Interference OF lr-
responsible English busybodies.'
This departure from the customary
sycophancy Of the Pail Mall Gazette
would be incomprehensible but for the
fact that It Is made the handle for an
attack on the Irish American societies
here, which venture to express their
opinion OF English abuses in Ireland.
These bodies. Mr.. Aston says, have not
yet gone to the length of addressing the
Lord Lietenant of Ireland. or the Chief
Secretary. on the administration OF the
law In Ireland" but they have dared to
pass resolutions and the like which
come perilously near the Anti-Lynching
Committees impertinence."