The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1894-08-08
PITH AND POINT.

faces beautifully" She-"Only one. "
Syracuse Post.
We wish that it would turn about
In this old world so funny
That poverty and trouble were
As hard to find as money. ,
Chicago Inter-Ocean. +
''What would you want first if you
had great big fortune?" Greedley
"a bigger one" Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
He-"Darling, there's nobody in
the world like you" She-"Do you
mean to say I am freak"-Boston
Transcript.
De Groot-''Do you believe in
second life, Mrs. Van Puffer?" The
Widow Van Puffer-- "fhis is so sud-
den. Truth.
He-"Why are you forever roasting
Charley Henderson," She-."Simply
because he ism t baked. "--Boston Even.
ing Transcript.
Nobody denies the right Of the bald
headed man to strike when the flies
take his crown for tennis court
Galveston News.
"When is fellow lying low?"
"When he is whispering soft nothing
into the ear of the summer girl. -
Boston Gazette.
We have noticed that the only oneI
in the family who looks pleased when
the door bell rings is the girl who is
engaged.-Atchison Globe.
The New Parlor Maid. -'tMiss Alice
says she's not at home. sir. - He--|
"Oh--er--really! Then tell her u
didn't call. "--Boston Budget.
The sculptors are going to have a
separate club at Paris, adorned by
their own examples. Each member
will chip in.-Philadelphia Ledger.
She--"You say you love me, but I
doubt it. What you take for love ID
merely a disease" He--'T wish il
were contagious. New York World.
"There are no flies on me-" she said,
With vehemence complete: F
IT am surprised at this" salt he,
because you are so sweet.
New York Herald.
Pawson- "Why does De Smythd
hesitate so when he is talking? Had
he an impediment in his speech? !?
Dawson-"No; in his mind. Brook
lyn Life.
Debtor can't pay you anything
this month" Collector -"That'
what you told me last month" Deb
tor-"Well, I kept my word, didn'
I?"-Tid-Bi
'That fortune teller must hay
thought I was an heiress." "Why
dear?" ''She said I was to marry
poet and live happily ever afterward.
Indianapolis Journal.
s.Alas!" sighed the sack coat, ns
looked up humbly to the silk hs
towering above it on the street, g
fear I was not cut out for a gentle
man. indianapolis Journal.
The fellow who always says "My friend,
Now, what can do for you?"
Is the chap who never a cent would lend
When you need dollar or two.
New York Journal.
Author-''I'm troubled with il
somnia. I lie awake at night, hou
after hour, thinking about my literar
work" Friend-"Why don't you g
up and read portions of it?"-Tf
Bits.
Little Girl-"You will have to bq
me a new waterproof, some oversho'
and an umbrella" Mother-"Whaa
the hurry?" Little Girl-"I'm i
vited to picnic next week God
News.
Conductor stumbling in the isl
fare these your feet, SIP" Passe
ger-"Yes, sir" Conductor (sa
castically)-"You should have n
them checkei" "-P. & S. S. S. CO.
Bulletin.
When mans wife comes in a.
sees him razor in hand and his ta
all lather and asks him, care u
shavlng?" it's a provoking thing
him to answer, tsNo, I'm backing
stove. "-Siftings.
"Why do you say Drop Dow
Nothing can drop any other way
eyes, my dear fellow, but only t1
days ago you asked me to drop
and call on you at your apartments
-Philadelphia Call.
First Sweet Young Thing-"H
can you endure that horrid w
Emptyun? He is such a dullard
Second Sweet Young Thing-"Yes,
is a dullard, but he is also dollared
indianapolis Journal.
Blobbs-"I know a man who has
time to eat, and yet he isn't dol
anything. Slobbs-"How's thai :
Blobbs-"He argues that time
money, and as he has no money
has no time. ">-Philadslphia Reco
Yeast--"Are You sympathetic
Crimsonbeak k--"1 think must be
never hear the landlord at 6 o'cld
i'll the morning pounding beefstf
that 1 don t feel us if would like
go down and pound the landlord.
Statesman.
Shaving the Head.
Cbor;nr the hno1 vas in anei