The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1894-10-31
SIROCCO n
From His Lofty Perch Pounces
Down on Nomad. Lampoons
the Third Party,
Opens the Doors of the Populists
Church and Asks All Who
Feel Sorry
For Their Past Sins to Walk Up
and Give Brother Ashcraft
Their Hand.
RICH, RARE AND RAcy.

They tell me that "Mr. wilkins Mi
cawber" who resides close by the spring
that bubbles beneath the hill, cocks his
head to one side like maybe peeping
knowingly into marrow-bone, and
while the slobber from his last quid OF
long-green tobacco oozes from the south
east corner of his double suction pump
mouth, gives vent to his predictions TO
the effect that Nomad will snow Dick
hewitt under at the November election.
IIa he's the only wiseac e in these parts,
every body else seems to think that
Nomad chad Just as well undertake to
plough up the adamantive walls Of hell
with span of bobtail rats hitched to a
pine shingle," as Rev. T. j.. Fisher said
when he failed to convert the people of
the Benson bills around Frankfort, KY.
What has a County Court Clerk got to
do with the "intrinsic value OF gold and
silver; the quantitive law of money!"
Has the law become so rigid that man
has to be trained in a school Of ethics
and become as wise as Solomon and as
fluent in the art OF oratory as Demosthenes
in order to be wholly fitted for the Office
of County Court Clerk? Does the peo-
pie of Meade county or any other county
know what Nomad is making race
against Dick hewitt for? Is Dick making
a race for congress? or might he be
aspiring for the position of "Crown
Prince of the United States?"
Nomad seems to be reveling in the
glories OF communism, nihilism or some
other ism that merits Pope's memorable
lines.
f"Go teach eternal wisdom how to ,ule,
Then sink into myself and be fool.''
The asteiiated rays of his philosophi-
cal mind, points us to reformation we
never had hoped to see while sojourning
in this low vale OF tears If Merle
D'Aubigne was here, he would astound
the world with history of this Is Fi
GREAT REFORMATION.
The frontspiece of his mammoth vol
umn would support an elaborate en-
craving OF Mosaic style, meath which
would appear in his own (Nomad's)
CHR 'graphy,
NOMAD.
BEFORE THE DIET AT LOUISE CORNER.
you know, the great reformer, Martin
Luther, OF ancient times, attended the
Diet at Worms. Nomad will never
reach Worms) Another page would
contain chronological table Of his early
life and works.
"Nomad, born at Louise corner, Meade
county, Kyn & etc"
Who, that is not as incredulous as st.
Thomas himself-wil doubt for a mo-
ment that the Mogul OF America is to be
found in the person OF Nomad ? and ifhe
should cease to exist to-day the stars
would fade away, and the sun himself
r, fuse to shine over this "God-forsaktn
universe" Ours would be more dread
full fate than that which befeil the Greeks
when Chryseis, the father OF ChIyseis,
and priest OF Apollo, failed to ransom his
daughter, in place of, "mules and dogs"
the infection would first begin on the
Democratic party, then the Republican
party would melt down beneath the
scourge like Pompei beneath the wave
of molten lava from Yesuvius, while the
Third party would be lifted up into the
third heaven, see? And the gorgeous
mansion OF our 'step-daddy" Cleveland,
what would become OF it?
"with lilies fringes there the Stately BATH
The acauthus' spreading foliage here she
waves
Round the gay "capital" which mocks its
leaves"
o. stay the destructive powers! let us
build affairs OF sacrifice TO the gods for
sending such man as Nomad amongst
us. And when he stands before us to
uaburden his vocabulary OF useful (2) (?)
(2) (O ~ (wonder II we couldn't exhaust
Pedagog's grammarD, knowledge and
wipes the perspiration from his ponder
Gus ~ (?) ~ (f) brain, We should beg
the loan OF his saturated handkerchief to
pass r,freshingly across our own be-
nighted foreheads, hoping, praying that
the elyxir thus extracted may penetrate
our eallus minds and open way for tue
rising glories Of the coming reformation
to shine in and bestir our SOULS that we
may realize full sense Of our dutyV Join
the Third party and thus merit home
in the bright mansions OF the, Third
heaven where We shall wear gold and
silver crowns Of mo Intrinsic value,"g
WhenfI hear him give llyent 10 his
latitudinous thoughts, the great weight
OF knowledge that lows from, his mind
like honey from a bears paw, feel like,
II he had his head grs ased and bis ears
pinned back, could swallow him. And
then the TIL d party would want 10
swallow me and somebody'd be in ale
predicament the toad was in that AESop
tells us about, after suffering all the
throes Of expansion, See? tf''ftr
tte4 etft eft t&sfftttt