Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-01-18
. sprlnikles of splice.

Philadelphia Record.
A BOX party-the Christmas shop
per. Philadelphia Record.
LUMBERMEN are not necessarily
| loggerheads. Lowell Courier.
THE faro-dealer admits raw ma
terial free. Galveston News.
A GROSS oUTRAGE-finding 1t a few
packages short.--Florida Times.
TALK about women being ilightyl
Look at bank cashiers. Texas SLIT
ings. !:
AN empty stocking can be pro-
nounced false yarn. = Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Nor even canal horse would ever
get ahead IL he didn't have pull
Boston Transcript.
1T is a poor cordage trust that has
not more than one string to its bow.
Washington Star.
A MAN can talk himself out OF a
Job easier than he can talk himself
into one.--Atchison Globe.
THE blossom has left the button
hole these influenza days and settled
on the ose.-Omaha World.
WHEN the Hawaiian patriots say
they shave the spirit of rs" that
takes in about all Of them.-Plain
/, Dealer.
JAGsoN says you can't blame a the
atrical company for being spiritless
when the ghost won't walk.--Elmira
Gazette.
Would YOU call Supplies
wife handsome? Weak-Yes-if 1
was talking to Supple. -Raymond's
Monthly.
THE money man tucks away In
his "inside pocket" may be looked
upon as vested security. -Yonker5
Statesman.
WHEN you speak to youth about
book learning these days he thinks
YOU are Just in from the race track. =
, Dallas News.
E BLoBBs-Why do you call your girl
/ silent belle? Slobbs-Because
kissed her and she never tolled.-
j, Philadelphia Record.
THE boiler-maker with oratorial
4 tendencies ought to have little
trouble in riveting the attention OF
z his hearers.-Buffalo Courier.
q IT argues no lack OF ability in a
Z boy that he doesn't make an opening
: for himself by going skating on too
2 thin e.-Philadelphia Times
y THE iron founder may be large
{ proportional man, but he never yet,
& in his business, succeeded in casting
: shadow. y onkers Statesman.
4 your neighbor appears to have
4 failed a great many times. %Just
q twenty-fo times. The next will be
q his silver bankruptcy. "-Fliegende
" Blaetter.
n BRIDEGROOM (at the end Of the
wedding)-"Well, l am glad it is all
over" Married Friend-"All over?
Great Scott, man! You have only
Just commenced. Puck.
q Miss BAcoN-"On the ranch we
N girls ride the horse bare-backed.
NJ Mr.. Knickerbocker (severely)-"l
should think the sun would blister
YOU terribly. "-Scribner's.
j. MAY-"What made you tell that
st horrid Miss Stumble that she danced
m like an angelo" Arthur Because
Ill thought they never danced, and
IN neither will she. It'd Bits.
la "WHAT is your objection to private
theatricals?" he asked of the sour
F. faced man. "The publicity that IL
invariably attached to them" wa
a the reply. Washington Star
C. SHE-"I wonder If there will b.
as anything to talk about in the mex
t.
On there is always something to say OF
'e- the other side. Boston Transcript
Ia V1sIToR-"And which is the older
Nv Tommy, you or Willie?" Willie
y, Were tie" Visitor-(mystifled)-
% ~What do you mean by tie?" Tomm.
-, Were twins philadelphia Rec
~ ord.
ou LIFE is full of disappointments
~. ~ Many a girl who expects to MARI.
nc and settle down finds she has to set
on tie way up on the top floor of ten
y, story tenement house. -Elmira Ga
- Zette.
ID "CAN l change my occupatlon III,
der the terms of this insurance pol
icy?" what do you wish to be-!
"A football player" "No." Gan
become Brazilian insurgent!
las Yes. Life.
PRoPRIEToR-"What' the row a
ars that bargain COUNTER" FlOor-walke
ew mo row at all. A party OF colleg
w. girls are among the crowd, and ar
- working to the front by hyin
wedge. Puck.
VExED wIFE-"There Is no calam
ity that can befall woman that
have not suffered" Amiable Hu'
band-"wrong, my dear; now, yo
have never been a widow" Vexe
Wife-"I said calamity, sir!-Brool
Ign Life.
LADY-"There were chickens !
those eggs you sold me yesterday
Are YOU going to make me pay fc
them?" mo, ma'am, as you didn
order spring chickens, Wen jus
charge 'em to you as eggs. "-Ra.
mond's Monthly.
OyEReRowN CoLoRED Boy-"Sa.
boss. don't you'll wanter boy fer I
- learn to be a jock?" HORSEPOWER
eu s aBy the time you've learned to rio
.nu you'll be too heavy" Boy-"Den W