Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1894-12-13

VI slSnJ u0 mucn argued question
about mans right to keep his seat and
let woman stand is an excellent touch
stone ! do not myself consider that ev-
cry man is bound to relinquish his seat
to every woman under all circumstances,
but this rule of exceptions has been
seized upon by the majority Of the male
sex as rule of self indulgence seldom
to be set aside I frequently hear men
say. with sort of brutal pride in their
frank selfishness:
II give up my seat to very old
woman. or very pretty woman. or an
acquaintance; but. as for the rest, they
can stand just as well as can. :"
Another form of defense is; II am
coming home tired from my business
and want to sit down and rest Why
should l give up my seat to healthy
young miss who has been down town
shopping for her own amusement?'
Well, he shouldn't t, but how much is
taken for granted in this argument?
| All young women are not healthy and
strong, although they may be about and
look pretty well. How is a stranger to
know that the miss" has been down
town shopping for her own amusement?
And is tired girl or woman to be re-
fused the opportunity for rest, if she
wants it, even if she has been ''shop-
ping for her own amusement?'
Shopping, as all women know, is
very fatiguing and often requires a
good deal of running about and stand
ing and waiting and, above all, is tir-
ing to the nerves and exhausting to the
lungs, which are forced to inhale
great amount Of vitiated and overheated
air. If the man who makes this excuse
is really too tired to stand, or too much
out of health to bear the fatigue, or too
much broken down by work and worry,
he has the right to keep his seat unless
the woman who wants it has all these
claims to indulgence to degree exceed
ing his own, but then comes the ques-
tion, In what character will that man
appear in the evening?
Will he continue to present himself
as the overworked and overweary bust
ness drudge? Will he pose contentedly as
an invalid, or a broken down, middle
aged man, one to whom his own fire.
side, his slippers and jacket and news
paper are the luxuries of his hours of
rest? If so, all is well, and you or or
any kindly woman would gladly give
him our own seat in the car or any
other help that we could.
But if this same man, after a good
dinner and a careful toilet, goes forth
into society with the air of a preux
chevalier, protesting devotion to every
woman he meets and offering chairs
that are not wanted and an arm that is
not needed to ladies quite as healthy
and quite as devoted to their own amuse-
ment as those he left to stand at his ell
bow in the cars, why, then 1 say this
member of polite society is not polite.
But let us be just and lay the lash
upon our own shoulders if it is needed
as well as upon those Of our erring
brother.
/ When tired man, no longer i'll the
vigor Of youth, offers seat to awoman
who is not tired and is strong and well,
let her decline it, graciously, but decid-
edly, and continue to stand, even if he
does also. To take the place of a man
who needs it when you do not need it
proves you not truly polite, although
you may be a star Of the most polite So
ciety in the world. | know one young
woman, and not a girl, nor a remarka-
| bly, robust person either, who often de-
clines an offered seat, saying brightly:
''No thank you enjoy standing. lido
it from choice.
I do not know that she is among the
Four Hundred but she is polite
Another way i'll which professionally
polite persons are apt to prove them
selves not polite from the heart is in
the treatment of elderly or stupid or
tiresome persons of no social conse-
quence.
To converse with attention and ami
nation is very easy if the other party is
agreeable, or very pretty, or social
magnate, especially if of the opposite
sex, but for woman to bring out her
best manner, or her prettiest smile, or
her entire attention for the benefit of a
deaf old lady, with nothing particular
/ to recommend her, or for man to al
low male Ounce to talk politics to
him and express his views on the tariff
question and explain what the presi-
dent ought to have said in his message,
and not show signs of annoyance or con-
tempt is the true politeness which soci-
ETY. does not always appreciate, or rath-
er does not discriminate from its poor
electro plate counterfeit.
Another glaring impoliteness of most
| polite society is its self absorption. 1t
/ is SO difficult for persons who set them
selves up as standards to understand
that there are other standards in the
world. and other people are following
them, and that one class is just as i'm
portant to itself as the other Sometimes
very polite persons take note Of the
aliens revolving i'll another sphere in a
good humored spirit Of curiosity and in
| dulgence. asking patronizing questions
and exclaiming i'll pleasant astonishinent
/ customs and phrases not their own,
md feel that they are showing them
lelves very liberal and kindly in their
ways, but that line Of conduct is nc
! more polite than it is for the other sort
to ask questions and make comments
and handle ornaments and laugh at
fashions which they. in turn, think
strange and droll.
True politeness. like true godliness, is
to respect other persons not only in their
rights, but i'll their tastes, and to carry
into practice the rugged theory that
zone man is as good as another, and
| perhaps good deal more so
1t was member Of very polite society
it was. in fact, a peeress of Great
Britain-who tried one Sunday to hear
Spurgeon preach, but, failing to find a
seat. audibly remarked to her daughter:
Come away. We've done the polite
to God. and that's enough"
We all have heard Of the queen among
the Four Hundred who. when guest
broke a precious plate, Immediately
dropped the nut crackers upon another
and smashed it also, remarking. ''These
plates break if you touch them. But tc
my mind that was not the exquisite piece
of politeness ii is generally considered. II
was overstrained and obvious, and the
guest doubtless felt herself accountable
for two plates instead Of one. Politeness
must not be unnatural or artificial if il
is to ring true and clear. IT must be the
Il honest outcome of sincere regard fol