The Press., 1894-10-25

l nate to see woman With rings in her ears!" exclaimed the good deacon; "they ain't natural! If it was intended for women to wear them she would have been born with holes in her ears. The first woman didn't wear rings, Pll bet, ''No," remarked the quiet little man in the corner, "nor nothin' else" The dis cussion was adjourned without delay.
 There is no medicine so often needed in every home and so admirably adapted to the purposes for which it is intended as Chamberlain's Pain Balm. Hardly week passes but some member of the family has need of it. A toothache or headache may be cured by it. A touch of rheuma- 1 tism or neuralgia quieted. The severe pain of burn or scald promptly relieved and the sore healed in much less time than when medicine has to be sent for. A sprain may be promptly treated before inflam- nation sets in, which insures cure in about one-thrd of the time otherwise re- quired. Cuts and bruises should receive immediate treatment before the parts be- come swollen, which can only be done when Pain Balm is kept at hand. A sore throat may be cured before it becomes se- rious. A troublesome corn may be re- moved by applying it twice day for a week or two. A lame back may be cured and several days of valuable time saved or a pain in the side or chest relieved without paying a doctor bill. Procure 50 cent bottle at once and you will never regret it. For sale by w. w. Lathrop, Stafford Springs; G. l.. Phillips, South Coventry.
 A chop house the tramps don't like the wood shed.
 When doctor considers it necessary to prescribe sarsaparila, he simply orders a bottle of Ayers, knowing full well that . he will obtain thereby surer and purer preparation than any other which the drugstore can furnish. Ayers Sarsa- parilla is the superior medicine.
 Lady of the House-Why don't you go to work? Don't you know that a rolling stone gathers no moss? Tramp-Madame, not to evade your question at all, but merely to obtain information, may I ask of what practical utility moss is to a man in my condition?
 SCHOOL CHILDREN sotU eat sweetmeats and you can't prevent it. The first you know of it there is headache; the child 10 UlllOuS tllu SOluSlIlHS uuSb D6 uOH6. Use Ripans Tabules, a remedy which is standard for such troubles.
 Apropos of ex-Governor Walters dec lination of the congressional nomination in the third district, it Is said that when he joined the law firm with which he Is associated in New York, he signed an agreement not to accept any public office nor to indorse note.
 Many of the citizens of Rainsville, h. diana, are never without bottle of Cham berlain's Cough Remedy in the house," says Jacob Brown, the leading merchant of the place. This Remedy has proven of so much value for colds and croup In children that few mothers who know it's worth are willing to be without it. For sale by w. w. Lathrop. Stafford Springs; c. l., Phillips, South Coventry.
 Artist Friend (pointing to a sketch)- ''I say, Harry, where did you get that ?"
 "Harry-"Why, got that out of my head.
 Friend-"W it's a lucky thing for your head that you got 1t out"
 Every mother should know that croup Cdu De pIeVeuJeu. n6 ITSG symptom or true croup is hoarseness. This Is followed by peculiar rough cough. If Chamber lains Cough Remedy is given freely as soon as the child becomes hoarse, or even after the cough has developed, it will pre- vent the attack. % and 90 cent bottles for sale by w. w. Lathrop, Stafford Springs; G. L. Phillips, South Coventry.
 Reedley-Why do you smoke contin- ually from morning till night? Weedley Its the only time I get. I sleep from night till morning. 7Sd Bits.
 BuCKLEN's ARNIcA SALvR.-The best salve in the world for cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and all skin eruptions, and positively cures piles, or no pay required. Guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction or money refunded. Price 25c per box. Sold by K. K. Taft.