Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-08-24

$500 y AAOy A"vO pOAA0N WANo@
open the spigot in the bottom Of their
soup reservoir, and it has rushed out and
engulfed everything which in any way
resembles prosperity. Only 9 few
things have escaped the food. Debs'
has managed to evade it, and Governors
Pennoyer, Waite, Altgeld, Llewellyng
and Tillman, Senators PETER and Kyle
and 9 few other ~curiosities are still on
the outside of the soup bowl. And the
whole nation is waiting. eagerly and ex-
pectantly, for these most glorious speoi.
menso of delirious idiocy who ever kept,
outside IN asylum to rescue the nation
from the greasy, Shiny depths of ropu-
listic soup into which they have plunged
it. The populists are Just great, MI.
Healy, when it comes to putting things
into't the soup.
/ see a new political party has been
organized back in Ohio, among a class Of
discontented workmen, who are all tired
out from having had to earn their liv-
ings. They want some bran-new legisla-
tion, which shall furnish them three
square meals. day, half a dozen suits of
clothes, plenty of spending money and q
two-story brick house to live in. In my
estimation, it is the coming party, for if
it succeeds in doing away with work and
in making every member rich, it is GER
tain to be popular. For tie taste Of the.
major portion of the residents of the
globe, in this latter end of the Nine
teenth century is not in the direction of
work. 1t is a peculiar fact, but none the
less true, that nine-tenths Of the mon in
the country who are dissatisfied with
the present industrial system, are the
ones who sit on dry goods boxes in front
OF the corner grocery, and fwhittle
away valuable time which might be
turned in to some factory at Is or 30,
an hour, telling how they used to
live when they we're boys, and how the
times faint what they used to be-" They
are the same ones, who can tell you all
about how they were raised on a farm.
How they used to get up at 2 O'Clock in
the morning, feed th~irty-seven horses.
and s~eventy-tive pigs, milk forty.six
COW, plant a few acres of corr and 90 out
and clear the timber off an acre or two,
land before breakfast. How they
barefooted eighteen miles to.
school four times a day, and came home
after. school hours in time to set seven
miles of fence posts before supper. After
supper, they used to turn in and harvest.
few hundred acres of grain Just to
keep limbered up, and when they crawl
ed into bed at 9 o'clock they slept so
hard they raised bumps on the bed
clothes. They hauled produce, SO they
declaim from the dizzy height of the dry
goods box, %forty-two miles to market.
traded for store goods enough to stock
the farmhouse larder, and once in along.
long time, dad gave 'em a nickel, which
bit OF currency had strayed somewayv
into the neighborhood. Those were u,
what they will proclaim from the seat
calloused top Of. the dry goods box to.
nave been the good old days. In the
present era of what they designate to be,
an age OF corruption and oppression,
they lie in bed until the sun shines down
through a crack in the roof to wake 'em,
up, and then hunt up a sunny seat on
the street corner to tell how they used
have to work. Some of EN- work ten
hours a day, and put in four more kick
ing about the benefits Of the slx.hour
system. They gloat from the dry goods
box on the beauties of a nickel in spend.
ing money in the good old days, and in
next breath, want the governments to
give 'em $50 apiece. There isn't d Of
them but can tell you every solitary feat
IRE of the currency question, and they
have tariff and labor at their fingers
ends, but to saw their lives they
couldn't set q row of fence posts. These.
are the reforms of the present era.
DR.. Lube, a c%lairvoyant who busies
himself intruding into the futures Of
other people, at a stated price per in,
rude, is %unraveling a large section nf
the hereafter for the residents of Fargo.
The doctor is the seventh son of a sew
9nth son, SO far as l am able to discover
from remarks which have been publish
concerning him, born under a joint
combination of eight fixed stars and q
pair of sun-spots, and when he takes
your little hand in his, and looks into il
his eagle eye, he extracts your flu.
life from his stellar horoscope with
all the glittering success with which
aaxseed poultice attacks a partially ma
tured boil. Isuppose if DR.. Lube had
been in Fargo a little over a year ago.
some OF the business men would have
lacked on 9 little more insurance.
HE SPECTATOR.
DR.. Prices Cream Baking Powder
Worlds Fair Highest Medal and Diploma.
Awarded
Highest hOn0rs-W0rldsS Eairs