davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

1T is always best for man to keep
his temper. No one else wants it,
New Orleans Picayune.
-Rouser-What do they mean by
ladies' day at the club? Touser-lt's
a chance twice a year to sober up.-N.
y. World.
Some people never accomplish
much because they step over dozen
little duties in trying to find a big one.
RAMS Horn.
Don't you worry about me-" said
the debtor. Il would rather owe you
the bill for hundred years than cheat
you out Of it. "-Tit-Bits
Missed. -Friend-You'l be missed
If you leave the stage. De Ranter-
That's the reason I'm going off. I'm
tired of being hit.--Town Topics.
The Acme of LONELINESS ~ think
Mrs. +. is the homeliest woman / ever
saw. Why, she's homely enough to
stop a---a-" "Clock?" mo; trolley.
car, Brooklyn Life.
81 see" said one real-estate dealer
to another, that you still have a va.
cant house in your new row." Yes, =
was the reply, lit is last, but not
leased. "--Washington Star.
I'm railroad carriage. -She-Tha,
man sitting opposite TO MS is detesta
BILE fellow. He-Why so, my darling
She--Because he makes point o.
| lighting his cigar whenever we reach
tunnel.-Fliegende Blaetter.
He (Americanus)-W What, you've
been here in Rome fortnight ant
haven't been to the Sistine Chapel yet
She (Chicagoensis)-No. lIe-Care t.
go? She-Yes, if it's high church
Who's the rector, anyhow?-Harlen
Life.
Nothing LaclSing.-Citizen -Grea
place, this town of ours, amt it? Trav
| elers all seem to like it. Visitor ten
thusiastically)-I should say sol. Why
you've got eighteen lines of railroad
that man can get away from it on
Puck.
One bold investigator, who doesn
think too well of his landlady's table
asserts that the original skeleton il
the closet was boarder, who wen
there resolved to get something to ca
and starved to death.-Philadelphi'
| Times.
They say" land she dived into thu
pockets of his clothes at 5 a. n.y. tina
women lone, two, two-ffty, two seven
ty-five, three, four, six) wouldn't max,
good politicians seven, eight, eight
thirty-four), but know better.-Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
The caterpillar, on being converted
INTO an inert scaly mass, does not ap
pear to be fitting itself for an inhabit
ant of the air, and can have no con
seriousness of the brilliancy of its flu
ture being. We are masters of the
earth, but perhaps we are the slaves o
some great and unknown being. TIL,
fy that we crush with our finger o.
feed with our viands has no knowl
edge of man, and no consciousness o
his superiority. We suppose that W,
are acquainted with matter and all it
elements; yet we can not even guess a
electricity, or explain the laws of tn
formation of the stones that fall from
meteors. There may be beings, think
ing beings, near or surrounding us
which we do not perceive, which w
can not imagine. We know very little
but. IN my opinion, we know enough
to hope for the immortality, the indi
diyidual immortality, of the bette
lpart Of man.-Sir II. Davy.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
GREAT pRuNkARps.
Russian vodki Drinkers Never Divorce ri
ety Frsm Bibulation.

ETY. Frsm Bibulation.
The love of vodki-''little water" as
they afTectionately term the fiery
brandy of their country-is their besct-
ting sin. Yet there is a popularity in
the drunkenness Of the Russian. he is
not an habitual tippler, keeping him
self constantly under the influence Of
the fiery liquor. In his ordinary habits
he is sober and absteminous, but when
he drinks vodki it is for the honest pur-
pose Of getting drunk. When, theres
fore, his purse allows him to indulge in
the coveted luxury, he marches straight
to dramshop, makes courtesy before
a picture of the Virgin Mary, which is
invariably hung on the wall, then,
counting out his kepecks for tumbler
of yodlxi, swallows it at draught. BY
the time he gets into the air he is about
as drunk as he wishes to be, When
sober he is good-natured fellow, and
when drunk even more so. Every
man he meets is his "little father" or
his little brother" and every woman
his little mother" or his little sister"
He knows he Ia drunk, but thinks ev.
erybody else is further gone than he is,
and considers 1t his special duty to see
that they come to no harm. In fact,
whether drunk or sober, there is prob
ably more kindness and good feeling
among the lower classes of Russians
than You can find among correspond
ing classes in other nations A slight
acquaintance with the language will
convince one that they use swear words
by the wholesale, but brutal acts, such
as beatings and Standings, are exceed.
ingly rare, while acts of the most self.
sacrificing kindness are Of almost eve
ry-day occurrence. st. Louis Globe.
Democrat.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

Make jelly with gelatine by the di-
raetions that come with the package,
using a somewhat larger amount, SC
that the jelly will be quite stiff. When
cool enough to begin to thicken, so that
the fruit will stay where it is put
place a layer of thinly sliced pineapple
that has been lying well-sprinkled with
sugar for two hours in glass dish
cover it with the jelly, and as soon as il
sets add more fruit and more jelly until
the dish is full. Set it upon ice anc
serve with whipped cream.-N. Y
World.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
HE WAS VERY SENSITIVE.
Cross Word From His Partner Wa
Enough to Set Him Into Uysterics

NrObs Woru FROM Ills PARTNER was
Enough to Set Him Into Hysterics.
An old man and young man 90
business together in Buffalo. The old
man is over sixty and the young man
is about thirty-seven. The young mau
began service with the old man whoa
he was a small boy. He worked mis-
way up through all branches of the
business until he became partner.
The two. men are very fond of each
other. They love each other like
brothers. They work together and en-
joy what pleasures they have together
and live in adjoining houses.
The other day doctor who has his
Office near their place of business was
called up by telephone and told to
hurry over to the factory. The old
man was at the telephone. He was so
greatly agitated that he could hardly
talk, but he managed to tell the doctor
that the young man was dying. The
doctor snatched up his satchel and ran
over to the factory, hatless and coat
less. He arrived very much out OF
breath and found the old man wiring.
ing his hands IN the Office and crying
softly.
'What's the matter? asked the doc
tor.
"Oh," sobbed the old man, "Char
ley's upstairs, and he's dying. He's
had a fit."
The doctor ran upstairs and fount
the young man stretched out on a pile
of bags. He was all but unconscious
The doctor examined him. Then h,
looked puzzled and made another ex
animation. The old man stood neal
by, watching the doctor and still weep
ing. whats the matter?" he asked.
The doctor did not reply. Instead
he pulled the young man to sitting
posture and gave him several smar
slaps on the back. The young maj
opened his eyes, looked around ant
saw the old man. Then he began t.
scream and wiring his hands and dane,
about the room, laughing and crying
alternately.
The doctor took him by the shoulder
and shook him. Here" he said
roughly, IF you don't stop that II
send for an ambulance. Quit it now.
The young man quieted down some
what and the doctor asked him
whats the matter with you, anyhow
You act as if you>had Mysteries.
The young man hung his head ant
said nothing.
Whats the matter?" asked the doc
tor, sternly.
The patient sobbed and shivered ant
stammered: 'He shouldn't have
spoken to me so"
"Who shouldn't?"
Mr.. R"
"Have you been quarreling with thi
MANI" asked the doctor, turning to tn
old man.
NO" he replied, 1--WE haven't beef
quarreling, but we had a few word
this morning"
"What did you say to him?"
81 don't remember"
What did he say to you?" asked tn
doctor of the young man, who, by thi
time had nearly recovered control o
himself.
He said" sobbed the young man
''he said-he said | was no gentle
man"
and" concluded the doctor, as h
was telling the story, 'preposterous a
this may seem, it is fact. That fel
low, thirty-seven years old, actual
had an attack of Mysteries because hi
partner told him he was no gentleman
The affection between the two me
was of such character that even tina
little thing wrought up the nervou
system of both of them to that hig
pitch. | can't imagine what woul
have happened if the old man ha
cussed him roundly." Blu ffalo Z,
press.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
Too Many Poets.

She Ito young poet)-How much do
you get for your poems, Charley?
Charley with pride)-From 50 to SIS.
"Well, isn't that very little? l see
that Sir Walter Scott got $40, 200 for
one of his"
'Yes; but you see writing poetry
isn't the business it used to be. There's
too much competition. Alex Sweet,
in Texas Siftings.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
Martial Economv.-Mr.

Marital Economy.-Mr. Spenda'
Vhast the father of large family OF
girls)-Real1y, Eliza, we must eeono-
mize, we must husband our resources
Mrs. s. with unspeakable contempt
Husband our resources. 1t strikes me,
Mr.. spendaghast, you'd better husband
Vcur daughters.-Truth'
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
A Nation of Inyentors.

Foreign Visitor-To what do you as
cribe the remarkable inventive ingenu'
ity of Americans?
Host-Puritan mothers.
~ do not understand"
"A boy with that kind of a mother
has got to cultivate his inventive facul
ties if he is going to have any fun
n. Y. Weekly.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02
Not Possible.

Ali your late wife hao been alive
you would have celebrated your silve,
wedding to-day.
B-Silver wedding! What nonsense
/ should have been dead long ago.
Truth,
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

Husband-DanielW Webster said, "Ons
may live as conquerer, king or 4
magistrate, but he must die as man.
Wife-How about me?-Detroh Ere,
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

Mrs. Fogg-of course | shall take
baby along. Mr.. Fogg-of course you
won't do any such thing. There are
plenty Of babies in New York already
-Deston Transcript.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

Mrs. WISes-"Do let us pack and
leave this place at once. 1t isn't the
least bit like a summer resort" NJ.
Wings-"What's the maper?" Mrs.
Wings-'Mercy! everything is com
Portable and peasant Ocean.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

"A ring looks better In bulls nose
than on dirty finger.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

IL you divorce capital from labor
capital is boarded. and labor starvss.-
Daniel Webster.
Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-11-02

Poor Hilda! She knows not that for
the bread she eats, for the shelter
above her head, for the very clothes
upon her back, she is beholden to the
man whom she, for forty years past,
has daily execrated.
'She never sees me but she throws
them awfu' words / my face" said An
drew to me. II thowt ! were actin
for { best when did as did, thowt
so truly"
Il suppose You have never met this
Ben Webb since?"
"Oh! but haze. went to Grimsby
o purpose to spoil his beauty. Il he's
living now, he's Twin wi the nose o
him all aslSew. That prank cost me &
week O. Jail, but I'd stand hundred
years o lookup for the comfort the job
gave me."-Chaunbers' Journal
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24
GEN. 5. c. ARMSTRONG.

Lines suggested by portrait OF Gen. ,.
Z. Armstrong on my study desk.
o brave soul! o strong, true heart!
Mighty sentinel on eternal battle
mentS of right.
Thy face grows with the light of truth
enforced by art.
Thy features beacon forth tranScen-
dental sight.
Thy lips their firmness wreathe with
every smile of God,
Star-like, shining through the mortal
flesh of him
Who led race from darkness into
light.
Teach me the lesson of thy manli-
ness and strength,
o thou that Earliest AFFAIR."
Give me the secret of thy holy labor
for mankind.
Lift me to the measure of thy pure
and lofty mind,
Whose unspent force yet fingers here,
the gracious wind
VI Destiny to races coming up to
glory
From the dark and sodden wears OF
inhuman spite;
And when, through all the breadth
and length
OF life that bears the burdens mani.
fold,
1, too, shall pass, dear soul of conquer.
ing faith,
Let the sweet restfullness of thy re-
membered peace
Keep me close to God until, like thee
I gladly hail the Pilot, and with Hin
cross the bar.
-ReU. Frederick STANLEY Root.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24
0snerai advertisements,
Ladies Column.

Times are hard all over the
United States at present,
which fact has enabled us to
invest some of our spare cash
in Goods that have heretofore
brought fancy prices; we
bought them at our price-not
theirs; we intend to give you
the benefit while they last.
As an illustration, WEDNEs-
DAY, July 25th, we will sell
ColOred Wool (all wooD Dress
Goods that you have been pay
ing % cents a yard for, at 90
cents per yard. This will be
a bargain you cannot afford to
let pass; nothing finer ever
offered in this market; while
during the entire week we will
have IL genera clearance sale,
especially on Victoria Lawns
at 70 cents for 10 yards and
Merrimac Prints at 80 cents
for 10 yards, Ginghams, mot
shoddy goods, but Ginghams)
II yards for 81 and Brown
Cottons, 16 yards for $1-you
certainly don't want anything
better than these offers.
SATURDAY, July 29th will
be a Gala Day for Remnant
Buyers; everyone we have
goes at your own prices. Silk,
Sateen, it don't make any diff
ference what it is, they are all
yours. Every piece goes with
out reserve. One thing more:
we are not letting anybody
undersell us on Underwear or
anything in our line of goods,
which fact a call at our store
will demonstrate.
We are glad to notice that
our new departure in contri-
buting this LADIES COLUMN
has met your approval. 1t is our
intention to throw in a little
spicy matter once in a while,
so keep a good look out tor
what is coming, not only
in this paper, but in the other
papers.
Yours, etc.,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24

To satisfy the demand for a
History of the Constitutional
Convention, the GAZETTE
COMPANY has prepared and
today issues a report OF its
proceedings, which terminated
with the Proclamation of the
New Constitution on the
Fourth of July at the
Executive Building.
The pamphlet will also con-
tain fine portrait of Presi-
dent Dole, and the New
Constitution in full, with an
index. The whole is enclosed
in a most artistic Illuminated
cover, which of itself is worth
the price charged for the
pamphlet.
Early application is neces-
sary to secure copies of this
memento of the birth of the
Hawaiian Republic. as numer-
Gus orders are on file, and the
edition is limited.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24

Mr.. EDITOR Can the saloon be
abolished, or is it an institution
that has come to stay and, like the
Door, to be always with us? Is it
wise to put it under the ban OF the
law. or is it best to put it under
legal protection? Looked at from
the standpoint of average humani-
ty, does it not meet felt want?
Is there not quality about oyster
cocktails, and whisky sings, and a
mint iulep, that only an expert can
bring out and that, too, only with
all the conveniences and parapher-
MALTA that the modern bar displays?
Who would think of compromising
such a variety of beverages In the
quiet seclusion of his own room
simply for his own personal graft
fication at the moment? Or who
would do it half dozen times a
day to treat friend to hospitable
glass? Will those who go to seek
these mixed liquors allow them
selves to be deprived of these ex,
quisite enjoyments? All! there's
the rub. Not until men have some
other standard than self-indulgence
will they cease to fight against any
such interference with their hber'
ties. Reform the saloon get 1T out
of politics take down the screens
of what avail are the outcries O
the anti-liquor men, so long al
modern society makes self-gratiti
cation its rule and allows no re
straint Of reason or righteousness;
TO interfere with its pleasures?
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24
CORRESPONDENCE.
The Gambling Nuisance.

Mr.. EDITOR: Recent events in
connection with the baseball games
give point and force to the ruling
of the English courts that gam
bling place is ga. common nuisance,
az It tends to draw together idle
and evil disposed persons, to cor
rupt their morals and ruin their
fortunes" 1t is no reasonable de-
tense against such an indictment
20 say that the passion for gam
bling is inherent in human nature,
and if an attempt is made to pitch
fork it out of decent society it will
return again with the force of a
tidal wave. Such an opinion is an
indictment against our common
humanity and the high ideals
which it is possible and desirable
20 hold in regard to the perfectl-
bility of mankind. But we need
not wait till this ideal perfection Is
reached. Such social evils as gam
bling. RIGHTEOUSNESS and intemper-
ance may be repressed, if not re-
moved entirely, by wise and ade-
auate legislation, enforced by an
aroused and vigilant public senti-
ment. Your editorial in Saturdays
paper is outspoken in the right di-
rection. It was mistake on the
part of the baseball league to with
draw from the full and free publicity
of the Makiki recreation grounds
to the exclusiveness of the enclos-
ing fence and paid seats in the
grand stand. Evil naturally avoids
publicity. It wants cover. Its
afraid to stand out in the open.
The Kapiolani racing park is an
other instance of the danger OF
making social diversion a public
nuisance. Can we not have the
ball games restored to the public
recreation ground, and summarily
arrest every one who offers to bet
on the game, as guilty of a mis-
demeanor? Let the rule be en-
forced, as we'll as adopted, that any
PLAYER who puts up a bet on a game
Shall be put out OF the nine. Surely
there is in our community a readl-
ness to rebuke and restrain the IN
cidental and avoidable evils that
would else interfere with or close
up entirely the free and unalloyed
enjoyment of such a suitable and
ID .
popular public. RECREATION.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24
&em advertisements.
National Cane Shredder
PATENTED UNDER THE LAWS OF
THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS.

The attention of Plan ers
and Agents is called to me
following letter from sir.
JOHN A. SCOTT, Manager of
the Hilo Sugar Co., regarding
the working of the National
Cane Shredder, which he has
just introduced into the Mill
of that Company:
WANAKU, Hno, HAWAII,
January 22d, 1S94.l
HoN. WV. @. IRWIN, Honolulu, II. l.
DEAR SIR:-In reply to yours OF tho
10Th inst. regarding the National Cane
Shredder furnished by the Universal
Mill Co. of New York, and erected by
the Hilo Sugar Co. this past season,
Iwould beg to say, that it has now been
in operation day and night during the past
three weeks working on plant cane, and
also hard ratoons, and it is giving me the
greatest satisfaction. The more / see OF
its capabilities, the better pleased l am
that put it in, as l am satisfied that 1t
will repay the original outlay in short
time, in saving OF labor, higher eXtrac-
ton, etc.
1t is shredding from $50 to 400 tons of
cane every % hours with the greatest
ease, and it could shred a much larger
quantity If necessary. 1t delivers the
shredded cane in an even uniform feed
to the three roller mill, which receives it
without the intervention of any labor,
and as the cane is thoroughly shredded
or disintegrated it relieves the mill of a
great deal of strain, thus reducing the
liability of broken shafts, gearing, etc.
There is a saving of four (4) men daily
on the mill, as only one man Is required
to regulate the amount of cane delivered
by the carrier to the shredder. It has
increased the extraction from to
per cent.
The economical use of steam is gene
rally serious consideration in adding
new machinery, as in most mills the
boiler power is taxed to its highest limit,
as it was in this mill, and any increased
demand necessitated an additional boil
err. But l find that the shredder and the
three roll mill engines combined use no
more steam than the three roll mill
engine did when working on whole cane,
while doing better work and more of 1t,
and owing to the uniform feed on the
mill, the engine demands very little
attention.
The Megass from the shredded. Ane
makes superior fuel, and the freAl 81
have less difficulty in maintaining uni
form pressure of steam than formerly.
will be pleased to have call from
parties interested, as it is necessary 10
see the machine at work to fully app e.
ciate it's capabilities.
I remain, very truly yours,
(Sig.) JOHN A. SCOTT,
Manager Hilo Sugar Co.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-07-24

WPlans for erection Of
these shredders may be seeh
at the Office of the Agents,
where prices and other parti-
culars may also be obtained.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1894-06-08
DISCOVERIES In CONSUMPTION
What Dyspepsia has to do with it.
Old school and new school methods.

Old school and new school methods
1t u.s. to say the least, peculiar, that all
consumptives suffer from dyspepsia Dys-
peptcs are not always consumptives, but
they are quite likely to become so, if they
don't cure their dyspepsia.
Dyspepsia is more like consumption than
any other disease known. 1t is, in fact,
one of the most fruitful causes of c0nsump-
ton. The dyspepsia in consumption is as
dangerous as the lung trouble.
There are no drugs known that will cure
the dyspepsia of consumption or enable
patients to properly digest their food, and
thus gain flesh except Pascola. which is a
Pre-Digested Food.
Starch, not fat, is the food for people who
are losing weight. Paskola, not cod liver
oil, is the modern treatment for consump-
ton.
A starch food made of grains and fruit,
pre-digested like Paskola. is the nearest APP
proach to perfect food for dYspeptics that
can be got The starch in Paskola, being
already digested, is absorbed almost as soon
as it is swallowed. Its fruit ferments,
which are the same as those in the stomach
and pancreas, act as powerful digestives of
other food. The immediate nourishmenl
given by Paskola is very refreshing and in
MIGRATING
Mr. Charles NJ. LIE Furge, of New York
City, n. y, says: My wife has used sew
eral bottles of 'Paskola' with great benefit
to herself-good appetite, general improve
ment in health-and not only considers it
boon, but everything you claim for IT.
Write for descriptive pamphlet to
The Pre- Digested Food Co., 30 Read st.
New York.
Alonzo T. Clarke, Bradford, VT.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1894-06-08

Miss Julia Grant is a sweet, win
some, gentle girl. The greatest care was
taken in her training to keep her soft,
lovable and trusting. She had bonnie
and an English gentlewoman from the
time she left off bibs until she went to
Vienna, and then she had private les
sons from teachers of noble birth. She
never studied arithmetic, grammar,
geography or any other branch calculat-
ed TO make her strong minded. She got
the languages by the natural method
and geography from travelling. She
studied literature, history, music, paint
ing and the art of pleasing. And she is
pleasing and pretty and captivating IN
til her beautiful and distinguished man.
ma appears, and then the mother puts
the daughter into full eclipse. Young
o. S. Grant is spoken of as strikingly
like his maternal grandmother, while
his sistet favors the paternal grand
mother--New York World