Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-03-04
HARD NUTS TO CRACK
The Capitol Square Squirrels and Some
Of Their WhimS.
TRADITIONS ABOUT OLD-TINE BUNHIES
The IdIer Got Stuck to His Chair-A
Horrible Experiencc-Gossip
About Dreams.

The Idier Got Stuck to His Chair-A
Horrible Experience--Gossip
About Dreams.
Major William r. Gaines, the Regis
trar OF the Land Office. Is. by virtue OF
his position, the commander-in-chief ana
head mogul OF the squirrels In the CAPT.
tol Square, and being an amiabie man
with a large heart, he feels most kihoiy
towards his bushy-tailed little subjects.
Small boys, armed with that frighttuI
instrument of modern warfare. the
gravel-shooter, and belligerent cannes
are the Zane OF the Majors life, Tor ihey
wage eternal warfare on the rodents L
have often wondered how many squir-
rels were in the square and recently
detailed a man to go out and count
them for me. After hard days work
he came back and stated that the result
of his taking indicated n bunny
population of go. but much to my dis
gust | found upon investigation that he
had been counting the same squirrel
all along. Everywhere he went the
squirrel would go too. and not noticing
this, he naturally fell into the mistake
of giving the little animal much more
credit for his existence than WAS due
him. As matter of fact there are only
about fifty-flve or sixty squirrels in the
square. so far as the park officials know.
There Is no way OF counting them' for
Ike George Washington In battle, each
squirrel is ubiquitous, and hence, no on,
will ever be able to accurately ascertain
their exact population.
Walker Howard. the old colOr'd ianl-
tor at the Capitol is rich In lore about
the bunnies-in fact he seems TO have
consecrated himself as chief historian ior
me tribe. He says that In 1870 during
Governar Walkers regime and when
General Newherry was Register or the
Land Office, the ancestors Of the present
generation OF squirrels were frst brought
10 Richmond. There were only two or
three father patriarchs and from these
the modern generation has sprung Moth
ing but gray squirrels ever prospered.
although many other breeds were
brought here. For years and years there
was a snow-white bunny that used to
frisk around on the grass. and from
what 1 learn she must have created
quite a futter in nut-cracking circles.
She gave birth TO a fine trio Of youngs-
ters in 81. pauls church. and sEbse-
ouently repeated the act I'm the Old Bell
House.
This coquette met her death I'm the
most tragic manner She pershed near
the ST. Claire Hotel at the hands OF u
juvenile imp. who slew her with a gravel
shooter. Although her color would have
given her every facility for making her
temperance az a ghost, she was never
seen again. and her soul IS, we trust. IN
the land Of eternal gubber peas and hick-
ory-nuts. At one time there were seve-
raj black squirrels I'm the square. but
the other bunnies pretty soon drew the
color-line on these and drove them out
OF the park. They had 10 ccde All that
territory lying within the Capitol fence,
and were forced TO take up their abode
in an Old tree near by. The California
squirrels which were placed In the
square we're not n success They were
never popular in society and were so inn
patient and ill-tempered that they had
to be exled. For instance they would
become very indignant when the children
would fool them with pebbles which
looked Ike nuts. and on several occasions
they attacked their dsceyers.
This Is the season at which the squlr-
Tels commence breeding. and from now
on until the fall the heart OF Major
Gaines will daily be delighted by the APP
pearance OF sweet debutante bunnies.
Many alasl will perish at the hands OF
small boys and a few will be killed by
dogs, but the race will be perpetuated.
The Capitol Square squirrels. II is said,
have their clques and socla, whms
just like foRs. For instance. TO employ
the expression OF Walker Howard. the
east-end squirrels "dares'nt use on the
west-end squirrels ground" In other
words the rodents who frislI around
near the Library building q suppose they
are a literary crowd never dare to tres
pass on the territory OF the Dollhouse
squirrels. who belong 10 the smart
set" one Of the walkways !s the diyld-
ing line between the respective domains.
and If either elan make inyasions on the
ground Of the other the most desperate
battles ensue.
At one time an effort was made 10
have deer IN the Capitol Square, aud four
or five were put IN the park. but. Ike
the squirrels. most Of them became the
victims Of dogs. one stag, who bore the
name OF George, got to be quite pet.
and before he met his tragic death. Of
which | shall tell later, he became so
tame that he would frequently come into
the Capitol building. He was genial.
sociable old buck, and unlike some Of
the other animals OF which | have writ
ten. he rather travelled on his muscle.
All the dogs In town knew him and kept
out Of his way or paid him that high re-
spect that his antlers demanded. But
George met with n terrible scare one
day. IL was the first time he had eyer
seen n convict, and when the criminal
approached him In his striped garb, the
animal became completely domoraliz Il
and maddened with terror. He dashed out
OF the square and ran madly through
the city. with many persons in pursuit
OF him. After long and desperate chase
the stag leaped into somebody's back
yard. and becoming entangled IN a
clothes-llne. was easily captured. When
George had reached the age OF 1 years.
he undertook one day TO swallow an Irish
potato that was not built for the special
convenience OF ais throat, and becoming
choked. he breathed his last-or rather
he would have breath Il his last IL the
potato had afforded him any opportunity
To breathe at all. At any rate he died
and his name Is now but a memory.
.
The lectures on Shakespeare, which are
now being delivered az Richmond College
under the auspices OF the Thomas Me-
mortal Fund will, in my opinion, be the
most popular Of all the series 70 which
the public have been treated by the time
hOnored institution. To be perfectly hon
est, | think Shakespeare Is pretty dry
when you have to read him by yourself
for the perusal OF dialogues requires the
closest attentlon-but when you see his
dramas presented on the stage. or hear
them discussed by such men as Professor
Furness. you cannot help bowling down in
adoratsJn to the immortal bard OF
Avon" In fact have about come 10 the
conclusion that Shakespeare and Uncle
Billy" Cullingworth win live always-the
former because he appeals 20 ones gentler
emotions, and the latter because he ap-
peals to ones appetite. Shakespeare con-
ceiyed his Hamlet and Billy Cullingworth
his plum pudding, while Grover Cleve-
land prohted By the hint offered by the
rotund Scout and made him Postmaster.
But all this has absolutely nothing
to do with what I am writing about.
II was my original purpose 10 comment
on those college lectures and 70 recah
II