Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-08-24
HERE AND THERE.

We're two little boys go blue, Bill.
Two little boys so blue.
We're ring-boned and spawned and smashed all
to pieces,
6 6na t sssa S s. fsy do s11s s HR The The f %sss,es.
We're both in the consomme, too.
We're rusty and dusty and crusty and musty.
a. C.. to W. L. W.
Crooked work-maklng corkscrews.
The reason people say the crop liar is
abroad, is because he's so far off.
1 wonder if a suggestion of arbitration
would meet with favor from George
Gould and the Prince of Wales.
A Chicago dye house says: DO your
dying at home" Someone must have
given up the ghost in the firms back
yard.
That rumbling noise, dear reader, is
the Fargo Commonwealth blowing wind
into Senator Kinter's gubernatorial
boom.
Up near Mimic, they have slough grass
tw%enty,four feet long. The farmers are
using it for binding Irvine and wire
fencing.
If the senate persists in saying 'buy,
buy" to the. trusts, then I think the
people should properly say "bye.bye" to
the senate.
1 see a Jamestown dramatic club is
preparing to give a play entitled BE
tween the Acts" I thought the audi
ence usually attended to that part of it.
Candidate Wallace's challenge seems
to have been a move in favor of cheap
gas. But the people don't need it, MI.
Wallace. The wheat crop is light enough
for us. .
The death rate in North Dakota is re-
ported as l in 166. This means, dear
reader, that out of ever, 166 persons Who
yught to be dead, only one is in a credit
ably deceased condition.
The most strikingly appropriate yer.
dict l have seen in a long time, is that of
a French jury, which returned a verdict
of accidental death" upon the body of
a man who had been killed in a duel.
I understand the Wellman party will
not visit the North Pole this year. He
thinks there are just as good summer
resorts in the United States. It looks as
though it would be a cold day when
any exploring party reaches thepole.
The New York Tribune rushes into
print, with the query, in large, inky let
tiers. Els the President Sick?" The
Tribune can wager it's whole plant that
he is. He's the sickest president that
was sat down upon by his own con-
gress.
A Minnesota farmer shot and seriously
wounded his ~l2-year-old boy the other
day, installing him for an owl. The
owl must be an odd looking
bird. Here in North Dakota, the resem-
blance between the owl and human fam.
lilies is so slight as to be hardly visible
the naked eye.
President Cleveland has gone to Gray
Gables. Early yesterday morning, he
a small grip sack with clean
sent the tariff bill and the river
and harbor bill down to the freight Of
fee, to be shipped on a fiat car, and rode
out of town on the caboose of a freight |
train-he was so eager to get away he
did not await the regular passenger.
The crop liar is developing a wonder
full muscle this season. I read an &C.
count the other day of some fields-a
great many fields, in fact-that would
average forty bushels to the acre. The
author of the statement was not, how
ever, the owner of any one of these 40
bushel fields. He sat in the window of |
the Duluth chamber of and
up the yield in North Dakota
through a telescope.
Now this time it's the Chicago Tribune |
which m out aud credits Kyle to
North Dakota. l feel compelled to say
to the esteemed Tribune that this is
nothing less than cruel. North Dakota, |
in it's history as an agricultural state,
has raised everything, from h to
sweet potatoes, with the one exception
Senator Kyle. The Tribune will con-
a lasting favor upon the state by
making the correction. Is it not enough
that we have Walter Muir?
Another ocean steamer has knocked
a few spots off the transatlantic record,
having made the journey in a little over
tive days. At first, it took in the neigh
borhood of five months to make the trip.
Then it came down to FIVE weeks, and
now it's five days IN length. At the
rate of decrease, it may be narrow
ed down to five hours, sometime in the
near future, and then to five minutes,
and next we may here of "chappie, deah.
boy, taking a run to Lunnon after sup
nor don char l,oor,, u, - L.: ----l---x