River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-01-11
PITH AND POINT.

You may trim me mustache, aw,"
said Gilly to the barber .Yes, sir" re-
piled the latter; "did you bring it with
your Brooklyn Life.
-Editor-sAlways write your jokes
on the thinnest paper you can get"
Young Humorist-"Why?" Editor
$50 can see through them"
| Young Callowe-"I expect to start
for London and Paris tomorrow. Can
do anything for you?" Prunella-
Yes; to be sure not to miss your
steamer. "-Life's Calendar.
Hicks Cold in death Do you
think that good expression?" Wicks
Tt depends good deal upon the
kind of a life which has been led by
the deceased. Boston Transcript
AT the Salon.-''Can you tell me
what that picture represents?" THAT
is Queen Cleopatra. Have you never
heard of her?" "Never in my life. /
SO seldom read the papers. "-L'Intran-
| sigeant.
-"Doan put yer min too much on
outward decorations" said Uncle Eben.
Hit am bettah ter hab er cabbage I'M
dab yoh waistcoat dan er chrysanthe-
mum in yer button-hole. Washing
ton Star.
Matrimonial Advertisement. "A
lady, young, pretty. bright and poor,
| desires to make the acquaintance of a
man with the opposite qualities, with
view to happy marriage. File
| gende Batter.
(which do you consider the most
/ significant of the old saws?'' asked the
man who delights in proverbs. 'U-m-m.
l couldn't say-unless it is the buzz
saw with which we are directed not to
monkey. Washington Star.
I'm the Consulting-room. Doctor
Excuse me, which of you gentlemen
has been waiting the longest?" Tailor
II believe have. 1t is more than a
year since you ordered a suit of clothes
and got it, but you haven't paid me
yet. Observation-Disclosures
what is your line of business?'
whispered the editor to man he was
about to introduce TO northern capt
talists. 81 hauls furniture" huskily
came the reply. Here, gentlemen"
continued the editor, sis Mr.. Jones,
one of the moving spirits of our city"
Atlanta Constitution.
--Figg-''In this story there is a
strange inconsistency. In one place
the author says his heroine is all heart,
and a little farther on he says her
heart was in her boots. That is sim
ply ridiculous" Fogg-'You forgot
that the heroine is from Chicago. -
Boston Transcript.
-Slow-Mrs. Litehead wanted Mr.
l.. to do something or other and he was
still hesitating. "Well," she said,
''what are you going to do?" II haven't
made up my mind yet" 'Well, de-
clare, she exclaimed; lit takes you an
extremely long time to make up a very
small thing. Detroit Free Press.
"A book agent went into barber
shop and asked the proprietor if he
conld sell him an encyclopedia.
'AYhat's dat?" asked the tonsorial ar
list. ''It is a book that contains in
formation on every subject in the
world" Victim in the chair says
feebly: 'He doesn't need it."-Texas
Siftings.
An Exact Office Boy.-Visitor lem
terlng outer ONCE - Is MT. Jones at
home? Office Boy (politely)-"Yes,
sir" Visitor-''Can see him?" Office
Boy suppose so, sir" Visitor
starting for inner office) Where?
In here?" Office Boy (innocently)-
''No, sir; his home is in Hamstramck :"
Detroit Free Press.
-Lawyer-''You say you made an
examination of the premises. What
did you find?" Witness-"Oh, nothing
of consequence; beggarly account of
empty boxes, as Shakspere says"
Lawyer Never mind what Shak-
spere says. He will be summoned, and
can testify for himself if he knows
ANYTHING about the case Tit RitS