The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1894-06-13
PITH AND POINT.

SLnOheleSS pOWuer 1Or dSeS USloIS nch
ever thought of adopting it.-Tit-
Bits.
Minister-ssHave you a family cir
Gle, my brother?" Layman-"fes;
make 'em all stand roun'. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Teacher-"1n which of his battles
was General Custer killed?" Num-
skull (after redection)-'I believe it
was in his last. brooklyn Life.
Solicitor -"What paper does your
neighber take?" Irate Citizen -.
"Mine, I guess. I can't find 1t more'n
half the mornings since he moved in
he murmured, did the captain,
Of vanquished baseball nine:
"I know not of the fruit-crop-
But the goose-ess crop is nne."
Washington Star.
Helen-"I would like to do soms-
thing that would make him miserable
for life" Florence-"Why don't you
marry him, pet?"-Chicago Inter-
Many man who howls loudly about
the "wrongs of society" and the 'tin-
equalities of our social system" always
lets his wife carry the baby.-Chicago
Tribune. &
edo men become what hey eat ?"
asked Porper. "That is what I think" I"
said Philosophers. ''Then give me
something rich!" said Porper.-Har-
per's Bazaar. z
Letter.carriers may be seen collect
ing letters at midnight, but this
doesn't explain why some late males
don't arrive till near morning. Phil
sdelphia Times.
It is better to do one thing we'll
than hundred things indifferently;
but, if that system were logically car
ried out, we wou d all be machines
not men.-Puck.
"1'm afraid the hotel is on fire; do
look out of the window and see." he
-sNo, no; everything is all right.
don't see any one pitching mirrors
and clocks out. - Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
Miss Elder-sWhat do you think1
Mr.. Gildersleeve proposed to me last
| night" Miss Kittish-"When I re-
fused him he threatened to kill him.
self, but I really did not expect him
to do it in that way. y."-Harper's Bazar.
Hodman-"I hear Edison's discov.
cred a science for doing away with
Sleep" Trowels-"H'sh! For good.
ness sake, don't let the boss hear
about it or he'll be having us work
twenty-four hours day. Chicago
Record. ....
Mr.. Grumpps-"What earthly good
would it do if women should be al
lowed to take a hand in politics?"
Mrs. Grumpps-''Well, for one thing,
we'd clean house a good deal oftener
than you men voters do. New York
Weekly.
Loving Mother-'I cannot UNDER
stand what makes our boy, Robert, so
fond of pedestrianism. Fond Father
-"He gets that from me. Didn't
walk the floor with him for weeks
when be was baby?"-St. Louis Post
Dispatch.
Professor Stone-"To the geologist
thousand years or so are not courted
as any time at ALL" Man in the Au-
dience-s'Great Scott! And to think
/ made temporary loan of $40 to a
man who holds such views !"-Indian-
apois Journal.
Professor in History lin the young
laaies' seminary)-"Having finished
the sad story of this episode in the
life of Mary Antoinette, 1 should be
glad to answer any questions you may
feel inclined to ask" The Glass lin
unison)-"What did she have on?"-
Tit-Bits.
Fair Organist latter a. hours hard
practice)-"Here is your money, Pat
rick; but don't you think you charge
me rather a high price just for pump
ing the organ?" Patrick-"B..ss y'r
purity Dyes, miss, Oh wudn't charged
ye cint if tn machine did not make
such blatherin' noises. New York
Weekly.
Five-year-old Fiossie had been bat
tling with her mother all day. There,
child" said the latter on putting the
child to bed, "sleep we'll, and don't be
so cross when you wake up" 81 40
tice," retorted little Flossie, "when
it's me you say cross when it's you
you saw nervous. % Pearson's
Weekly.
"It was severe punishment" said
the father, self-reproachfully, "but it
answers the purpose. 1t keeps Johnny
from running on the street" You
didn't cripple the boy, did you:"
"No; had his mother cut his hair
for him. You ought to see the poor
boy" and the proud father wept bit
terly.-Texas Siftings.
At an evening party Dumley was in
troduced to young lady, and after a
remark about the weather he said GAL
lantly: "And have really the pleas
ure of seeing the beautiful Miss Bios
som, whose praises are being sounded
by everybody?" "Oh, no, Mr., Dunn
lev" the lady replied; "the beautiful
Miss Blossom to whom you refer is q
cousin of mine" 'Oh. that's it.
Well, thought there must be mis-
take somewhere" said the gallant
pumley. Tit Bits.