The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1894-04-11
The Art Of Talking.


still. We all know an incessant talker who
pours forth q continuous stream of babble,
yet never by an accident says anything
that is, anything good to remem Der or car
ry away.
The most of us are fortunate enough to
know, too, a man or woman, perhaps more
than one of each sex, who can hardly speak
at all without saying something that IL
stimulating and suggestive, something
true and noble, something honest and can
did, that all at once makes the world
seem great deal better world; that clears
the mental horizon of any mists and
shadows and enables us to do the thing
we are doing with better will and cour-
age; to take hold of the disagreeable duty
and accept the inevitable with cheerful pa
thence. This is the difference between the
mental and moral constitution of indivd-
uals-it is the result of the involuntary
action of mind upon mind and may be as
strong in the illiterate as i'm the learned
You know ut once whether the man or
woman you employ for n given purpose is
quiet and self respecting or chattering
busybody, and you have confidence in
them or not accordingly. But this is not
what is meant by talking as an art, and
In order to interest, amuse or instruct 9th
er people this requires more than the
gift OF speech, more than the faculty
of making ones self understood; it re
quires long and patient culture of the
faculty of thought as well as that of ex-
preston. There was n time when talking
was cultivated much more than it is to-
day 1t was before the age of printing, be
fore the period of newspapers, which have
become thought and visible speech for so
many American men and are daily sup
plying more and more the place of thought
and speech to men and women all over the
civijiHpd world
Observe cars, stages, steam boats, and ev-
cry man comes laden with his daily sup
ply. a'd be- sits down and devours them,
uauH.Ul above all things to the quiet
frioId who tells him all the news, keeps
him Informed about what is going on and
manufactures his opinions without any
trouble to himself. Get a birdseye glimpse
of nine ont of ten American men in the
morning or in the evening, and for the
single hour spent at home they will be
buried in the newspapers not for the pur-
pose of communicating what they find
there, but in order to cram themselves
with the current news and be able to
understand the illusions or take part III
the chat upon current events which varies
the more serious work or business of the
day
The multiplication of newspapers, it
might be supposed, would stimulate and
encourage the art of talking, by giving
men, and women, too, something to talk
about, for as rule they are more suggest
i've in this respect to the women who read
them than to men. The majority of men
are too much absorbed in business to be
interested in the literature or social as
poets of newspapers. These are more adj
dressed to women--in fact, they are
new feature, one that the newspaper proper
has taken up within the last few years in
order to meet family demands as well as
the requirements of the politician and man
of business.
There are two elements in our lives that
have an enormous influence in shapr z
the character of our thoughts and their
eXpression-one Is what we read, the other
is what we hear. Young people who are
isolated from cultivated society should be
doubly careful what they read in order to
have the habit of thinking in good English
and also of having something to think
about.
1t is not necessary to interlard common
conversation with quotations or to read
for the sake of being able to do so. This
and underlined Quotations may be made
at the proper time and place, but they
should always be apt and "right to the
point" and if too frequently INDUCED in
they will seem forced intrusion.
A good memory and the cultivation of
the habit of observation are essential to one
who would have subjects for bright and
suggestive remarks or agreeable CONVERSE
ton constantly on hand. We must first
think wisely if we would talk wisely, and
our thinking depends largely upon the
company we keep, both as regards people
and books. But we are not to talk, any
more than walk on stills, nor talk much
at all until we have something of our own
to say. For, after all, the first and essen
tial element of the art of talking is know
ing when to keep silent.
Character has much to do with the
charm of bright and pleasant talk. 1t re-
quires sympathy and certain unselfish-
ness to enable one to enter into another's
feelings and select such topics of conversa-
ton as will prove interesting to him and
hold his interest. One must, in fact have
the habit of thinking more of others than
of himself and more OF what will be agree
able to them.
Besides, the naturally noble, truthful
ence in books, in its social relations, in
work and in all those things which make
up our mental, moral and spiritual en-
vironment and it is out of this that our
thought and its expression in language
grows.
Probably there is no influence which
tends more to the growth of unconscious
excellence In talking than the habits OF
cultivated and intellectual home circle,
the regular reading of the best books and
the intelligent talk In the family about
what has been read or heard or seen.
Nothing can quite make up for the alb
sence of this element in the home life of
children, and in this respect the children
of the middle classes, which cover the great
army of professional workers, are infinite
ly better off than the children of the rich,
who are RELOCATED to the nursery while
their habits and tastes are being formed
and are not allowed to participate in the
social life of the family.
To be brilliant talker Is as great a So
cial attraction as to be beautiful singer,
but it is not the most desira BILE thing in