River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-11-29
STORIES OF PROF. SWING.
Wit and Human Nature in the Man All
Chicago Thought We'll OF.

4
Chicago Thought Well OF.
| 4 reporter who enjoyed the late
| Prof. Swings acquaintance met him
earl; one Sunday morning at the cor
ner of North State and Division
/ streets waiting for car to take him
/ to Central Mssic hall. On that corner
is a building, the windows of which
4 bear the familiar legend: Family
/ Resort" Outside a stairway leads to
/ a basement, and on the iron guard
rail around it sat Prof. Swing with
coat tails parted, complacently whit
I Ting a piece of wood. Directly in
front of him stood telegraph pole
braced by a stout iron rod 1t had
rained the night before and water
stood deep in the cutters. A party of
small boys were tempting a ducking
/ Ly swinging from the curb out round
the iron brace and back again to the
other side.
As the reporter approached Prof
Swing paused in his whiting aud
dryly remarked:
I've been watching those boys
swing around that iron rod, and I've
been wondering if | could do it, too.
DO you think l could? My name is
Swing, you know, and | guess that
iron is strong enough to hold me-"
The reporter admitted he had no
idea of the ministers athletic powers,
but volunteered To try it in advance.
H. did so and stepped into the water.
y can beat that, anyway" re-
marked Prof. Swing "You hold my
knife and I'll show you"
He took finn grasp of the rod, and
out into a horizonta. position flew his
legs and coat tails.
There. what did | tell you?" Re
painted, as he reached the curb safely.
Il often had harder things to do than
that"
Then the az came along and Prof
Swing proc eded TO his duties in the
Central church.
One slippery winter morning Prof.
Swing was sauntering slowly along
Scot1 street near his home. The stone
pavement was covered with ice fir ON
the falling sleet and pedestrians were
generally choosing the safer footing
of the roadway. Opposite Prof Swing
a woman who lived in the neighbor-
hood was cautiously picking her way
over the glare of ice Suddenly the
catastrophe came and without warn
ing her feet flew out and she came
down hard upon the sidewalk. Prof.
Swing paused to satisfy himself I hat
she was not seriously injured. Then
he remarked:
Mrs. s.. think you are very
good woman"
Slightly piqued at mis- remark. ard
at the same time at her predicament,
she retorted:
Il don't know why. What do you
mean?'
Scripture has it," gravely replied
Prof. Swing, that the wicked stand
in slippery places You seem to be
sitting down"
Another afternoon a reporter met
Prof. Swing in a North side car 1t
was during the last grand opera
season.
"I'm going to dissipate a little this
afternoon" was his remark 1--WE
been working hard this week, and
feel it is my right and privilege"
What are you going to do?" we
asked.
Il am going to the matinee" he re-
piled.
80 am l." came the answer.
''Ah. we'll" exclaimed Prof. Swing
warmly, but you haven't seen my
girls. What would 'Lucie di Lam
mermoor' be without them?"
Later the reporter saw the girls"
Early in the first act Prof, Swing
walked down the aisle smiling and
happy. Holding his hand on either
side walked two pretty girls, both I'M
der fifteen years of age.-Chicsgo
Tribune.