St. Paul daily globe., 1894-07-15
City Greemhorn's Mistake.

"I came into the country" said the
City Boarder to the Farmer who was
carrying him home from the station,
"to enjoy the GOODNESS and seclusion of
delightful rural arbors and"
"Arbors," said the Farmer, "arbors,
what's them?"
"Why, haven't you any arbors on
your farm. my friend?' asked the City
Doarder.
Never raised none," said the farmer.
"There amt no market for them. What
be they. anyway?'
Don't you raise grapes?" asked the
city boarder.
Grapes? No. They raise them things
in the city. My wife goes down to her
Cousins in the city ev'ry fall, Jest to eat
grapes. Her Cousins back yard is ali
covered with grape vines. But we haln't
no time 10 fool with sich stuff in the
country"
Pm sorry" said the boarder, "but L
am sure shall enjoy resting beneath
the trees i'll your yard"
Trees in my yard! You don't
'spose Id waste good fire wood in that
way. do ye? Wen l built my house |
cut down every tree within forty rod of
1t, an it KEEP me in tirewood for two
year. The one thing have agn the
city is that they have so many pesky
trees there. ITs jest like Iivin' in the
woods TO live lii the city. | went down
there an rid through the streets, last
summer. and there was so many trees
CROWN along side 'em that you couldn't
see the houses. l top my wife then |
couldn' stand it to live in sich place,
two days. without cuttin' them trees
down. You wont be bothered with any
sich things in the country, mister"
But | can enjoy myself on your
well-trimmed lawn"
Lawn, what's thaI?"
''Why. your front yard. I shall-ba
happy, Pm sure. to lounge at ease upon
your well-trimmed grass"
Pm sorry, sir; but couldn' think er
lettln' ye lay on my grass. 1t would
spile the hay. wy the grass in my
front yard is four feet high. Best grass
go into that grass. But there's nice
Sandbank out back er tile house. You
can 90 out there and lay down all you
want to-"
"Of course you have lots of fine cherry
and pear trees, so that we shall have all
the fresh truit we want"
"W'y, no, bless ye. You'll excuse
me, won't ye? but you are tarnal green.
You mustn't think we are jest the same
In the country that you folks are I'm the
city. If you want to get pears and
cherries, an sich. you ought to stay in
the city where they grow. Wen my
wife gets hungry for pears aud cherries
she allus goes down to her cousins in
the city where they raise them in their
yard, an jest eats her fill The country
amt no place to raise sIch things. They
shade the grass too much, an spile the
hay crop"
But | shall enjoy your roses and
flowers"
"Look here. mister, do you take me
for a fool? DO you 'spose Pd spile
good corn an tater lam by raisin'
roses an flowers on 1t. We amt sich
gumps here in the country as some er
you folks in the city. guess we shan't
suit you, mister. You'd better 20
back"
The city boarder thought so, too.
Accordingly he bid the farmer goodbye
and trudged back to the railroad sta
tion, and took the first train for town:
and be told his friends If l,,.ey wished
for all the enioyments of country life
they should remain in the city. The
farmer laughed many a day over the
city greenhorn who thought people had
trees, flowers. grapes, pears and cherries
In the country just as folks do in the
city.