The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-10-12
THE SODA FOUNTAIN.
THERE is DANGER IN SOME OF THE
Triples IT FURNISHES.

Nervousness seems to be a fad Just
now " said the man behind the soda water
bar. Half the trade is from persons who
think they need something TO pick them
up First it's phosphate, then bromide
in some form and then something stron-
ger. don't know where the craze will end,
The soda fountain has become a bar
for mixed drinks and prescription coun-
ter where every customer is his own doc
tor l guess the next improvement will
be a nickel-in-the slot attachment for pull
ing teeth while you wait
You needn't quote me as saying so, "
the loquacious miXologist went on, but
It S a fact that must be apparent to every
one that the soda water fountain Is rapid
ly becoming a menace and nuisance.
It's good cheap affair for young spoon
to march his best girl up to on hot sum
mer night; it's less expensive than the ice
cream table, and therefore 1t is an eco
nomical device, but it gets men, women
and children into the habit of drinking
all sorts of villainous decoctions about the
effect of which they know nothing and
which they don't need at all.
Il don't mind serving ice cream soda
to a bevy of pretty girls, for that is a
harmless sort of beverage, and the girls
are GeneTdlly klbutDlS1l CAAONBll " ElNd All1
service certain amount of interest," but
when your hypochondriao comes in--the
fellow who is blessed with perfect health,
who doesn't know that he's got a stomach
except when he's hungry, who knows about
liver only as something that goes with ba-
con and about kidneys only as viands
incest when they re broiled--when such a
man comes in and studies out something
he has not yet tried, why, then want to
| go back to Iowa"
With that awful thought in his mind
the egg shaker gave the marble counter a
| swipe with a towel and sent drops of
| Waukesha water flying all over the chew
ing gum.
"The worst feature of the business,
| though" " he said, returning to the attack,
lis the medicinal end of it. Men want
| bromo this and bromo that, and some ask
| for quiniue and others bioarbonate of
soda; some get whisky, and have a regu-
lar cod liver oil patron. Another man
wants pepsin in his, and peppermint is
common enough Plenty of them come to
the soda water clerk as if he were a doctor
and ask for something for ills, real or imag
| mary, of which they may or may not be
seized or possessed, as l have heard a
lawyer friend of mine say.
You wouldn't believe it," the drug
| store toddy tosser continued after fixing a
raspberry phosphate, but men, and wom-
en-, too, come here and ask for poisuns.
| One chloroform drunkard drops in regu-
| larly to try TO persuade me to give him a
drink, and woman who lives near here
| comes frequently after laudanum in hers
! One chap staggered me by asking for some
| bromo hyacene, a drug l never heard Of
| and l kept a drug store in Des Moines till
got caught at 1t,
Il looked up bromo hyacene and found
| that one-hundrcdth of grain is enough
| to put a man So sound asleep that a check
erboard suit wouldn't waken him. He
didn't get his medicine Guess he wanted
to shuttle off "
The dispensing chemist sided up to the
other end of the bar served lemonade
| glassful of the citrate of magnesia and
| swabbed the counter ON his way back to
| the cracker bowl, for this soda water bar
| had a free lunch waters" or biscuits, -
| instead of dirty crackers and much finger
! ed cheese.
"That's the worst feature of the trade, -
| he began again, "tho prescribing for self
! feature. l used to think when patent med
icines were my chief stock in trade that
| the dear people were dosing themselves
| into early graves, making themselves
| bTaiuless as ChimpanZees meager as liz
| ards, but l think now that the crowning
glory OF American foolishness is the so
| called soda water fountain. Young peo-
pie get into bad and eXtravagant habits
| patronizing the soft drink bars, and older
people-business men who ought to have
better sense-cume tumbling in here for a
brace up on drugs half dozen times a
day when all they need is as much exer-
else as is contained in a walk around the
block
"The soda fountain, or liquid drug
fountain, is the first cousin to the office
lounge, " said the ex-Iowan as he pol.ah-
ed glass after swallowing a lemon phos
phate. There are moro lounges in Offices
nowadays than ever before. The profes
sional man becomes tired, his eyes swim,
and his head aches. He lies down for q
few minutes and thinks he is all right
again and resumes work worse off than
before rest, for he has to mako greater
effort to pick up the thread where h,
dropped it. If he doesn't lie down. he
runs out to the soda fountain, gulps any
thing he happens to think Of and goes
back refreshed after the faith cure idea OF
Iefreshment. That is, he thinks he is re
freshed when he isn't. That's Why say
tho lounge and the fountain are related
Take a little something before you go?
''No2 Oh, this won't hurt YOU it's only
! wild cherry, with little phosphate in it,
and there isn't enough prussic acid in the
cherry to hurt anybody,
Growing? Yes, it's growing. In fact
it's the pot boiler of all the down towr
drug stores Hot drinks IN winter ant
iced drinks in summerl Buy big foun
tain, throw away the key Of the front door
keep open day and night cut price on
regular trade, and your fortune is made
Sell cigarettes and nerve tonics, and yoJ
can keep tramp armies supplied Will
oranks, Keeping a soda water fountain
is about on level with running a hotel il
a resort for consumptiyes - Chicago
Times.
It's Strong Point
An Englishman has been inveghini
against the kilt calling it theatrical rheu