The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1894-09-26
John Quod on the Country Editor.

If there is a reserved seat vacant in
the celestial orchestra near the great
white throne, the country editor will
surely be shown to it by st. Peter and
given a program and an opera-glass,
if not a harp and crown, because if
there is ever a weary soul in heaven
that is entitled to special consideration
by reason of the just deserts denied
him on earth, the stern patience, fori-
tude and forbearance borne in the flesh,
the trials and sorrows, The fears real.
lied and hopes deferred, as well as the
sins uncommitted, it is his.
The country editor must be jack of
all trades, though according to the ma
ture of things not necessarily expert at
any. He is parsonage unique with
great big gu" though he is better
known and recognized under the So
briquet of we" He is considered by
some people, especially the delinquent
subscriber, as of small account, though
in the unsefshness of his heart he is
chart able enough to regard the d. 8. on
the other hand as of large account-on
the books. He may never obtain JUS
tice from this class of people, unless he
his reward will come some time and in
some way he is sure.
The true country editor is practical
printer-job and ewspaper-pressman
and mechanic, as we'll as local reporter
and obituary and sporting and agricul-
tura and financial and political and
literary aud horse and snake editor,
bookkeeper, correspondent, mailing
clerk, paying teller and treasurer. He
has smattering of law, medicine and
theology and fair knowledge of the
arts and sciences. He is well ac-
quainted with literature, history, polit-
ical economy and statecrsft, and is
grounded-usually hard aground-in
the languages. Like the physician, he
carries the key to the skeleton closet of
many home and, like the pastor, helps
to tote the burdensome sins of recall
citrant constituency. Like both the
doctor and the dominic, he is the first
to be sought out when trouble afflicts.
His knowledge of law enables him to
use the words alleged" and sit is
said " so as to avoid libel suit, and to
call man horse-thief and liar and
dead beat and skin-hint and scape-
goat and jail bird and political trick
ster and a hypocrite, and so on, in lam
guage so judicial as to appear truly
complimentary and thus escape horse
whipping
His knowledge of medicine enables
him to distinguish accurately the differ
ence between gum boil and felon
when he sees one in the mouth and the
other in Jail, or to diagnose it as case
of hog cholera when delinquent sub
scriber dies. He knows that poll-evil is
due to bad politics. and that ring-bone
and string-halt!a re accountable to the
same bacillus. He recognizes that
splints-especially on the brain-are
resultant from heavy "jags," and that
"jim jams " are not caused by mi
crobes, like consumption of the lungs,
blood or tissues, but by the consump-
ton of whisky. He is satisfied that
one may have an excess of gall without
being troubled with gall stone, though
he may have to dodge brick now and
then, and that conceit is not a second
AIRY symptom of greatness, nor the tin
tinabulating mouth the indice of brains.
His knowledge of theology enables
him to distinguish between right and
wrong, TO discover to the upwary the
pitfalls, aud point the better way. He
is not orthodox, but liberal in his views,
believing that the many different roads
traversed by the earnest Christian, Jew,
MOhometan, Mussulman, Brahmin,
Buddhist, and even by the heather lead
straight to the pearly gates. He is
ways Christian, and never an atheist
or an agnostic. He can write better
sermon than is usually preached from
the average pulpit, and preach it TOO, if
necessary.
His knowledge of the arts and
sciences he carries mostly in works of
reference, because his head is not as
big as pork barrel, as it would need to
be to contain all the knowledge he COM
mts to cold type, but he knows right
where to find it and how to manipulate
| it.
AS a local reporter he knows that
every l''m concerning u newly painted
fence or shingled hog pen, big calf or
mammoth turnip, 50 long as the owners
name is mentioned, secures a lifelong
friend and subscriber of that owner
unless he happens to call attention tC
the fact that said parsonage had got run
ia for "eXcess of jag" and fined ten
dollars or ten DAYS, which he some
lines unfortunately has to do, when he
at once creates lifelong enemy anC
receives notice to "stOp my pap' r.
He II cOgnizes and trips up every eifor
to get IA free ''ad' into his paper, beins
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