Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-01-25
Let Us All Laugh.


A BARBER has no right to lather
his wife.-Boston Courier.
It's wise COW that knows its own
butter Florida Times Union.
The profane man always takes a
cursory view Of the other side.-Dal-
las News.
The cannibal does not believe that
one mans meat is another mans
poison. Puck.
THE death OF an ossifled man in
Tennessee Is reported. He died hard.
Chicago Tribune.
A CHICAGO paper swells with indig-
nation that dried apples are not pro-
tected. Plain Dealer.
In cafe the order to retreat is
always followed by spirited attack.
l-Yonkers Statesman.
A MAN can't help having his judg-
ment warped by a hot temper. =
Binghamton Republican.
A MINER may be ever so we'll off
but he can't help getting in hole
occasionally. Toledo Commercial.
SECRETARY LAMONT says that the
fighting Indian is no more. His
whoops are out Of fashion. -Philadel-
phia Times.
| THE Boston policeman who talked
with juryman got himself into a
box, and the juryman got out of one.
Lowell Courier.
THAT hen is kicking up a great
cackle." "She has just laid an egg. /"
THAT all? 1 thought perhaps she
had laid Delmonico omelette
souffle. Puck.
YOUNG LADY-"How much does it
cost to have tooth taken out?"
Dentist-"One form, miss; but by
the dozen it comes cheaper. Die
Amsterdammer.
HE-"I shall have to go. hope
you will have pleasant evening. /"
She-"Oh, Pm greatly obliged to you!
am sure to have a pleasant time
| Boston Transcript.
THE Youth Does a man ever get
too old to take an interest in life?
The Sage-Oh, yes. But he general
ly RECEIVERS by the time he is 25.-
Indianapolis Journal.
CUsToMER-"Have you copy of
Fifteen Decisive Battles?" Book.
seller-"Nn, sir; we are sold out. But
we can give you reflections of a
Married Man. "-Tld-Bit
IT is we'll enough to have your
knowledge at your fingers ends, but
when you want to pass an examina-
tion it is better to put it on the end
OF your cuffs. --Elmira Gazette.
IT was three hard boiled eggs that
knocked out the G. o. M. At his age
their yolk is not easy to bear, and in
this respect his home rule may be
changed. Philadelphia Ledger.
What do you mean
by saying that things are 'as thick as
hops?' Newly orker-"I mean they
are packed as close as people In a
private ballroom in New York. -
Life.
| "GRAN'MA," said little 4-year-o old
Austin, as he twined his arms low.
ingly about his grandmother's neck,
you'll never know how much / love
you till you have child of your own!'
--EIarper's Bazaar.
Mrs. PEACHBLow-"Why does your
husband carry such a tremendous
amount of life insurance, when he's
in such perfect health?" Mrs. Flicker
20, just to tantalize me. Men are
naturally cruell"-Life.
| H. l. II IL,
ter will be saved? He--I think not.
She-Then just think how awful il
will be for him to see the beggal
Lazarus resting on the bosoIA Of one
of the patriarchs.-LiI.
PRIMUs-Jobson is philanthro.
pist Secundus-What does he do!
Primus-He's so sorry for poor chill.
dren who have no Christmas that he
spends the year telling them that
Santa Claus Is myth. Puck.
WIFE-"JOhn, you haven't given
me enough money for what i want.
Husband-"It'sj just what | gave you
before" Wife-"Eut prices have
gone up, you know" Husband-"But
so has money, my dear. Truth.
AUirTIE-"You should ask to be
excused when you leave the table
Little Nephew - SHOULD 1?
thought from the way you acted about
that third piece of pie that you'd be
glad to see me go, Good News.
| The FLORAL CIPHER. -She-I am
not up in the language of flowers.
What did that bunch Of Jacque-
minots mean that you sent me? He
Il don't get the translation from the
florist until the end Of the month. =
Life.
JOHNNIE Mamma, / heard tho
preacher say to-day that matches
were made in heaven. Is it so?
Mamma-"Of course. Why notl'
Johnnie-"Well, / don't see any use
for matches. There's no night there.
Detroit Free Press.
HUNGRY HIGGINS = It's pretty
tough when a Teller asks for bread
and gets a stone. Weary Watkins
/ remember onct when ! didn't have
no Kick comm But then. you see,
there was little rye went along wit
the rock that time. -Indianapolis
Journal.
AFTER instructing his men in the
points OF the compass, Lieut.. "
says 10 one OF them: "You have in
front of yon the north; on your right
the east; on your left the west.
| What hoya v.,,, hahind vpnov Dr;-