The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, 1894-07-01
BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE,
Peculiar Traits of the Human
Male and Female.
The Reason Why Love Often Departs
After the Wedding.
The Charm of the Courtship Period.
Women's Care1essness After Mar
riage - A Large Holiance
Gooa Behavior Needed.


Marriage is the natural center OF grav-
itstion to all sexual affection. Wooing
and filtration. playfulness and coquetry,
esteem and friendship are more or less
it's preludes. Even tho most prosaic
feel that period of dslliance should
preceds it. Not to have bssn courted
would be reproach to any matron, and
is actually resented by the most anti
quated spnster. Many lovers like to
prolong the process on the same princi-
pie that child makes q sugar stick last
as long as possible. For there is
charm and sweetness and romance
about courtship which nothing can equal,
and which make it as delightful to the
poor, ignorant, rough little peasant girl
as to the most beautiful and accom-
plished peersss; perhaps even more 30.
For love is oftener truly told beneath
the milk-white thorn" than under lean
opies of costly state" The affections
are freer and fuller and altogether more
natural among the respectable lower
and middle classes than at either ex-
treme of society.
Eminent naturalists tell us that some
birds exhibit many curious habits dur
ing the mating season. The cocks in
dulge In dancing matches, gyrating in
circles until, like the Shakers, they
drop from exhaustion, and all for the
delectation of tie hens, who sit de-
murely by and watch the performance.
The mates strut and ogle with down
spread wings, displaying every inch OF
feather and every antic they possess.
and become 30 intoxicated as to be OBJ
livious to danger. This occurs in spring,
before their marriage. But see these
birds in autumn, wild and wary, and
who could bsleve them to be the same
Their character in the meantime ap-
pears to have undergone complete
change. Then you might walk over
them now you can hardly approach
within hundred yards of them.
And 30 it is with other bipeda. Be.
fore marriage they practice sort of
stage-acting. They display every artifce
which they think captivating. They
conceal their real characters from each
other and assume others which do not
belong to them. Each ''makes up" ex-
tensively. He is manly. generous, for
bearing, overflowing with delightful 60.
licitude. She is ingenious, fruitful.
sweetts@aiRse'ed asyotaaa aaa b Soahshi eaa6
others elightest wish, 80 that each seems
made for each. They only require mar
riage to complete their happiness. For
s'Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Men never t., but always 60 BE-. best"
And this must be so while we substi-
tute fancles for realities and take a
mirage for lake; while we weave
ropes OF sand and think them life cables
while we lay our foundations of happi-
mess in the shifting qucksands OF pas
sion and discrimination instead OF on the
eternal rock Of truth. If we would be
happy We must be wise. II we would
be wise we must see clearly, must invee-
tigate without prejudice and weigh with
Judgment. 1t is all too easy to link our
late to that of another; we may do go
as blindly as the birds and the beasts.
but very many important considerations
are required to make the union prudent
and permanent.
And thus it too frequently happens
that the honeymoon is scarcely through
before domestic miseries commence,
Oae by one the defects OF character in
each reveal themselves until the whole
are exposed in all their deformlty. De.
sire gives way to Indifference, and indif.
ference to dislike, until at length they
positively hate each other. He becomes
domineering and unkind in manner;
she petu,ant, capricious, of uncertain
temper. and careless OF her person and
her home. The bower which they had
prepared for themselves as q miniature
Eden becomes an ever widening hell.
engulphing day by day each hope and
pleasure of their lives and eventually
robbing them OF the very faculty of en-
joyment.
Another OF the chief reasons for this
state OF things ID that women frequently
take great pains to secure their hue-
bands, and, having succeeded, act as if
nothing more were to be done. But it
is far easier to catch a mans fancy than
to keep it. ANY pretty fool may, bv
careful angling. hook wise man, but ii
takes sensible woman to retain his
affections, or even those of foolish one
Men are vagrante by nature. They
havs. as they seem to suppose, pre-.
scriptive right to wander. Ages of
mastery and oppression Of women have
warped their perceptions OF tru h and
Justice. The most generous and most
Ted5OEaDlb VI tlleill IltNb IL iurKlDy and
deep seated fealing that they ought 10
lord it over women. With most men it
has become an instinct So that when
ever they make us concessions, they do
not always do 80 from sense of right.
but from mere galantry. We are poor,
frail. inferior creatures. go it becomes
our lordly superiors to pity our weak
ness and to treat us literally. Thus
we meet with the usual fate of slaves
and dependents from time immemorial.
caressed today and kicked tomorrow.
On every hand we see the unhappy
effects OF careless marriages without
tearing for ourselves. Just as "all men
think all mon mortal but themselves"
80 we think the errors of others are
nothing to us. Is there any other folly
equal to such fatnity as this? And how
IAN anything but misery result alter
from unions made so thought
eeuly or hastily that life ia not long
enough to repent them sufficiently?
Observe the case OF a poor man who
elects G girl because he is smitten with
Ter smart appearance. She appears
cheerful, active, careful and scrupuIous.
y neat. Yet within year OF marriage
he develops into slstternly and ire
,ular wife, neglectful OF his home, and
mildly in herself. She does not recog-
izs the Importance OF enhancing, il
ossible, those qualities which won her
regard. On the contrary, she
J indifferent whether ne is pleased or
OF Tina dOan not prouo hor Ntox