The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1894-08-17
Newspaper Incidents,

queer things that have happened in
newspaper Offices. There is no par
ticular reason why they should be told
now, except that my thrifty spirit
prompts me to get ahead of the other
fellows.
We began l believe, on the old and
fruitful subject of typographical errors.
Somebody told story which he tack
cd on to A. p. Kelly. II was an
episode Of wild western journalism.
Kelly was an editor, and his compos.
ing room was giving him good deal
OF trouble. One day he was reading
an editorial proof which began badly,
and got worse and worse. Finally, at
point where Kelly had been demolish-
ing the argument OF contemporary,
he reached words which he had writ
ten thus: "Now, if we consider his
major premise, we find it a total alb
surdity." In the proof instead of mai
or premise, appeared "Major Prem
tice." A military gentlemen Of that
name was we'll known character of
the town, and friend of the paper.
When Kelly got as far as that he
lost all patience. He underscored this
last colossal blunder, wrote "cussed
fool on the margin of the proof, and
sent it to the foreman, with verbal in
struction to bounce the compositor
who had made the error. 1t did not
reach the foreman it went to the man
who was correcting the galley in which
the editorial stood. He was man
who obeyed orders if he broke owners,
and this was the way the editorial f.
nally appeared: When we consider
this Major Prentice (cussed fooD we
find total absurdity." This naturally
hurt the Majors feelings great deal,
but the result TO Kelly was not so seri-
Gus as it would have been to some
men, because he can drive little tacks
with revolver at fifteen PAGES, and
shoot faster than anybody else on
earth.
This story led me to tell of foolish
thing did good many years ago,
when l was the city editor land half
the reportorial staff) of Connecticut
paper. l wrote the story Of Decoration
Day, having viewed the exercises from
one OF the carriages in the procession.
We passed, on our line of march,
handsome residence with a broad
lawn before it, and on the lawn stood
white haired old man with a flag in
his hand. l had just come to town,
and was obliged to ask the name of
this fine looking and patriotic gentle
man. Afterwards I wrote him up in
the story to the extent of long and
glowing paragraph. spoke of him as
the venerable Mr.. So.and SO, model
of piety and patriotism. And the next
day was informed by nearly every
body in the town, beginning with the
editor of the paper, that Mr.. So-and.
so had reputation that would't bear
thinking of, and that the adjective
venerable might have been applied
more appropriately to Captain Kidd.
forgot what it was that he had done,
but he ought to have been hanged for
it.
But queer things don't happen to
obscure papers only, In illustration of
this fact somebody told of the remark
able mix up which startled the readers
of Sunday paper a few years ago,
There were two long illustrated arti-
cles in that days paper which, if moth
ing had happened to them, would
have attracted more interest, perhaps,
than anything else in that number.
One Of them told all about Trinity
Church, and the other described the
adventures of a person who had been
charmingly entertained in the harem
of the Grand Turk. remember see
ing both of these articles. l don't
know why I happened to read the
Oriental narrative first, for the other
was evidently better suited to serious
minded person, but somehow | did.
1t described great number of en-
trancingly beautiful women who were
said to have received the narrator with
great condescension. He conversed
with Rose-in- Bloom, Star of the Even.
ing, and others equally named and fl
nally encountered the Rev. M. Austin
and several assistant rectors Of Trinity
Church, who talked with him cheer
fully, and did not seem to feel at all
embarrassed at being discovered in
that particular place, But as for me,
l was scandalized, as they say Fest.
l could not understand how these
pions and popular clergymen could lie
there on the perfumed 1ivans of His
Unspeakable Highness and talk on
religious topics as calmly as if nothing
had happened. Their names were
mentioned in the most ordinary way,
and as an ex-reporter of varied expert
ence, was surprised. Certainly, if l
had been doing the story, l should
have referred to them as distinguished