The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1894-11-27
DEACON VILLAGES DRUNKEN
COW.
She Disgraced Herself and Him and Had
to be Sold,

@4SSA a. 44A G40 4@S0
to be Sold.
You amt had time to get acquaint
much weth Deac'n Wallace, have you,
nowG' the Squire was saying, tenta-
lively, to the new minister, who had
stopped by the pasture bars to admire
the Squire's milking herd, and had
glided from that subject into a discus
sion of his own spiritual flock. The
minister shook his head. ST believe he
is a pillar, firm and strong. I think he
is strict, according to his hgutf' He
said it inquiringly. !
"Ain't any s~tricter man 1 know of, "
said the Squire. HAS family prayers
before breakfast every morning, sum
mer and winter; I call that strict, now9
And everybody and everything under
his roof gets a taste of discipline, too.
Even the COWS have to stand round.
Deac'n has his ideas about their sense
of right and wrong"
Dear mel" murmured the minister,
mildly.
I'm reminded, now" continued the
Squire, "of a yeller cow Deac'n had
las fall a year ago.. Bought her in
spring of Aaron Damon, tax collector
here to Hop Meadow. Keep her along
through the summer, fed her up nights
he's a master hand to take care of
stock-and was Dragging to the post
Office what a fine COW he had, and how
much milk she give, and how much
butter they made from her, and how
much she'd dress later on. We all got
well acquaint weth her, so to speak,
and used to ask after her like she was
one of his family"
81 see" said the minister.
Things went along till fall, and
Deac'n's boy Hiram come up home
from college for a week or so. Pretty
good boy, Hiram, and smart's a steel
trap. He was always comm up for a
few days; never see a colleger have so
much vacation. Folks used to think
when they see him, Well, guess he's
come for good this time. But no; some
how he always went back. Guess they'd
took a shine to him down there, may
be9"
HE may have been a favorite, " said
the minister; ''but were you speaking
to me of Deacon Wallace's son, or of
his COW, in the mainG'
"I'mcoming to that-I'm there now"
the Squire replied. THAT cow'd ben
cosseted so much she was forever get
tin out of pastur' and hanging round
the house for what she could get. And
there along in fall she come up through
the orchard back Of the house one day;
and the cider apples were just laying
on the ground in heaps. Of course no
cows going to ask anything better'n
that, so she stops, and kind of hides
herself behind the trees and the heaps
of apples, and goes a eating. And then
as she begun to get gorged she got care
less and showed herself; and Deac'n,
wondering why she hadn't broke out of
pasture and showed up at the house,
looks out and sees her. And he gives
n pig yell Tor hiram"
He must have been alarmed" COM
mented the minister.
He was afraid she'd kill herself, and
besides he wanted the apples for cider.
The Deac'n knows how to calc'late.
Hiram he says, go and drive that
COW out of the orchard! She's gettin'
at all the apples!' Hiram started out
like a good boy, and did his best; but
she seemed to have got the taste of ap
pies, and he couldn't do anything weth
her. He stopped, looked up to the
house, and waved his arm
"'Drat it, says Deac'n; so much
colleges spoiled him so be can't drive
a COW. I'll have to go and show him
how And he came down into the
orchard full sail SET"
The minister looked puzzled. Your
nautical figure of speech" he began.
Running for all he was worth" the
Squire explained. The COW see him
coming, took one good look, let out a
kind of scarf heller, and turned square
round on her hind legs and started on
the gallop.
"'Head her Off Deac'n yelled
Hiram run for second"
He could not have run far in that
time" interposed the thoughtful min
lister.
Run down the field and turn her
back. And then he and his pa got her
between them. But lands! They
couldn't drive her nowhere! And you
never see a co Y act so ridiculous in all