Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-08-06
Catching Conceits.

A secret is no longer secret when YOU
have confided it to your confidential frieud.
-Somerville journal
Be polite to everybody. There's no tell
ing when you may have something to sell.
-Atchison Globe.
Let yoh aims be high, said Uncle Eb-
en-, "but doan' forgit dat dab am mob
practical returns FUN good job OBJ white
washin dan dey is FUN a bad job of LAM
scape paintin. "-Washington Star.
If a man has an income of over 1925 a
month, the newspapers say he is ''wed-
died." Otherwise they speak of it as 'mar-
ried. "-Atchison Globe.
There are signs of growing enlighten-
ment in the suburbs. One man said to
another in a Harlem suburban train the
other day, ANY marks of improvement at
your placer" NO." replied the other.
II see no marks of improvement, but there
are plenty Of houses going up. New
York Sun.
A Kansas man who lost 500 chickens
that were aboard one of the stolen trains
has entered suit in the United States courts
for the value of them. He wants to recoop,
so to Philadelphia Ledger.
1t seems to have developed that if enough
men get together they can get anything
they want for nothing. Globe.
Doctor-Did you apply a mustard plas-
ter to your spine9 Patient-Yes. Doctor
Didn't you find it a great help? Patient
No. 1 felt that it was a great draw
back.-Medical News.
Some pessimists may still contend that
marriage is failure, but in the bright
lexicon Of the operate prima donna there
is no such word as fail-Baltimore Amer
lean.
1t is great deal easier to believe the re-
turned anglers story when he sends you
round goodly portion of the flsh.-Som-
ervillc journal.
An animal dealer says that the giraffe
is so difficult to obtain and acclimatize for
menagcrie purposes that the price rarely
falls as low as $6, 900. The giraffe comes
high.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Among the latest spring openings are
the series of earthquakes predicted by
weather prophets. Baltimore American.
Among the Chinese who have registered
under the Geary act in Jacksonville, Or,
is one named Yung Hyson. 1t suits him
to tea, as he is in that business-Phila-
dclphia Ledger.
When bride has been married about
three weeks, she begins to send home for
the old clothes she refused to take with
her-Atchison Globe.
Brother Talmage has resigned once and
been fired out three times, but he's there
yet.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The life of q dress suit is about 10 years
If the young man is careful of it and does
not lend it to any one fatter than he is A
girl has to get new party dress every sea-
son Or look like a last years birds nest.
-Atchison Globe.
A Methodist preacher has been appoint
ed a whisky gauger at Peoria, probably on
the ground that to the pure all things are
ure.-Chicago Times
Jillson says it is lucky for some men
that the law against suicide doesn't pro-
vide a penalty for shooting off ones
mouth. Buffalo Courier.
The ball player is always anxious for a
change of basc.-Philadelph Record.
Once there was newspaper man who
did not think that some day he should
write novel. This is confidently offered
in competition for the prize offered for the
biggest lie-Somerville journal.
So far as VIC ever heard no great man
ever wore badge at a convention.-Atc
son Globe.
Book Agent entering the sanctum)-I
have little work here which "Ex-
cuse me- )" interrupted the victim, "but I
have great deal Boston Courier
II you want every man you meet to
treat you to cigar, resolve to quit smok-
ing.-Atchison Globe.
Every lard manufacturer may not sue
coed, but he tries" just the same.-Phil-
adelphia Record.