Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1894-03-09

should stake my life ON the chances,
they being enormously against sue
cess. knew that in my dive from the
second blowhole toward the sea I had
done my very best-gone forward to the
last yard, exhausting the full half of
my power of holding my breath. True,
there might have been a breathing place
one yard beyond the point at which l
had turned back, but then again there
nigh. not be any such blowhole at all
between the second of my breathing
places and the sea, and from that point
to the sea on the assumption that the
tunnel ran quite straight there was a
distance of more than 100 yards accord
ing to the most favorable computation.
Were to dive again from the second
blowhole with no intention of returning,
only with the intention of pushing for
ward till ! should be drowned or find
another breathing spot, l might make "a
yards, or even by desperate determine
ton and such power as God might gra-
ciously give me make even 80 yards.
Then, should 1 meet with no breath
ing place, l would be miserably
smothered and drowned. I knew that
if were to make this desperate stroke
better, for my physical strength, owing
to a diet of fish repeated day after day,
was failing. In mind I was still vigor-
Gus, but physically l was decidedly
weaker than when l entered the cavern.
A few days before this 1 endeavored to
move a pebble which the day after my
Imprisonment I had been able to raise
little, though not SO far as to turn it
right over. On this second occasion
could only just stir it in its place. Aft
er awhile got up and explored the cav
ern, lighting new fires at convenient in
tervals. 1t was indeed great and au-
gust chamber of rock, fit to be the tenn
pie of some gloomy superstition, but
discovered there nothing of any impor
lance, not even sound timber. This
pocket, like the great cavern, had not
been visited by the sea for many years.
The drift timber there, though abundant
enough, crumbled as 1 handled it. l
covered up the embers of the fire near
the blowhole with ashes to keep it alive
and returned through the tunnel to my
own cave. That evening" brooded long
and earnestly over the dreadful prob
lem. The making of steps along the
slope up to Curry's Window would be
the work of years. If I adopted
that other desperate alternative-a de-
spairing, headlong and rushing dive
through the tunnel would either es-
cape at once or at once die, and so be
released from all my troubles. Then
it seemed to me that to take such a step
with all the chances so great against
success was like suicide-a crime which
had been brought mp to regard as per-
haps the most heinous and awful of all
crimes. When I awoke in the morning,
it seemed to me as if l had somehow
made up my mind and come to de-
termination while I slept. AT the time
l regarded this as a divine illumination
vouchsafed to my prayers for guidance
and light. Possibly enough, for the hu-
man mind is very deceitful, l finally
decided against the holder and more
daring course sheerly from want of
courage to put it into execution, and
truly the thought of being smOthered
with salt water in the submarine dark
ness of the tunnel would have been
enough to appall and unman a holder
spirit than mine. Yet indeed | do not
believe that 1 was turned aside by fear
from the adoption of the more daring
and perilous course. l have to observe,
however, that from this day forward a
certain lassitude, inertness and lack of
spirit grew upon me, mainly caused by
my low diet, but noticeably beginning
to appear ON this particular day, owing
to the complete and final Illustration of
all the high and joyful hopes which l
had so long entertained in connection
with the seals tunnel. There. within
a few yards of me, lay the gate and en-
trance of road leading to light, liber-
ty, home and happiness, yet could not
traverse it, SO charged was it all with
salt water. My poor seals went there
freely out and in half dozen times a
day, but could not, though indeed
tried and did my best. While Charley S
brown bread came down to me was
strong. When that failed and l had
nothing but fish to eat, slowly, day by
day, grew weak. I did not feel despond
ency so much as certain lassitude and
a tendency to do nothing but ruminate
and half sleep, so that sometimes even
the task of feeding my fire seemed to
require great effort of will before it
could be effected.