The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-04-21

sONA
Small Son-When we got through
/ owed the other boys 80 cents.
Hum :"
"Oh, it's all right now. We reor-
ganized."
"Eh?"
Yes. ] capitalized at 81. gave
the other boys half the stock for
their debt, and then sold them the
other half 60 now they owe me 20
cents. '-LGood News.
AN EMPHATIC QUESTION.
What was that awful noise in
your house last night?"
"Oh! my wife merely asked where
I'd been. - Halo.
AMBIGUOUS.
did she receive him when he
called?"
"She not only received him, but
introduced him TO her father to boot"
-[Cape Cod Weekly.
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT 1T?
New Clerk in Jeweler r's-Young
lady in front wants TO see some rings
exactly like one she has on. She says
she thinks of having two alike, Just
for the fun of the thing.
Jeweler-Don' [ waste time on her.
That ring she mas is an engagement
ring, and she wants to find out what
il cost.
PERFECTLY CLEAR.
Dedbeete-My dear sir before you
ask me for an immediate payment of
this account | wish you to consider a
few facts which will doubtless re-
dound to your own good. | want to
ask you if you do not regard with
some degree Of satisfaction the pros
pect of having money coming to you?
The Creditor-Why, of course.
Dedbeete-Now so long as | am in
your debt such prospect is before
yoI.
The Creditor-Y-y-yes.
Dedbeete (retiring in good form)-
And if | were to pay you that pros
pect would be instantly and entirely
cut off, as you can plainly see. /
trust that you will learn to look after
your own interests better before ap-
preaching me on this subject again.
[Chicago Record.
A GOOD CHARACTER.
Can you give any evidence in re-
gard to the character of the de-
ceased?" said the Judge.
''Yes, my lord" replied the wit
ness. He was man without blame,
beloved and respected by all men,
pure in all his thoughts and"
Where did you learn that"
II copied it from his tombstone,
my lord. - Philadelphia Life.
WHAT WON HER.
"Did you hear about Gladys"
said Maud.
NO" replied Mamie.
"She has refused old Mr.. Pinch
penny and is engaged to Charley
Cashgo."
How strange! The old gentleman
is very rich.
"Yes. But she told me she thought
she had better prospects with hus-
! band who was willing to be generous
if he could than with one who could
be generous, but wasn't willing. -
Washington Star.
SOCIAL AMBITION.
Miss Lapham-Now that you are
so influential, / want you to hel lp me
to get into society.
Miss Penstock-You wouldn't like
it. You are n home body. Why, you
would be bored to death
Miss Lapham-I know it, my dear,
but | want to have the privilege OF
being bored Brooklyn Life.
ACCORDING TO ANNOUNCEMENT.
Customer-Seven dollars for this
pair Of shoes? Great Scott The sign
in YOUR window says; Selling Of
Regardless of Cost"
Merchant-That's right.
Customer-Regardless of cost See
here! | used to be in the shoe busi-
ness myself and | know this pair OF
! shoes never cost more than x3 at
wholesale.
friend. I'm selling them for 81 re-
gardless Of the fact that they cost
So. See?-T Chicago Tribune.
! MISTAKEN.
Johnny-Pa, did you know ma be-
/ fole you were married?
Pa with sigh)-I thought l did,
johnny Boston Transcript.
A COURTEOUS REPROoF.
He was a geologist, and had come
down TO Boston from Montana with
specimens of r2ck. One, crystalli-
zation consisting of quartz, feldspar
and mica. was undergoing an analyti-
cal examination at the hands of the
cultured young lady.
That is gneiss," explained the
geologist.
Yes, beautiful" agreed the Bos-