The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1894-11-28
We Crude Purloiners, Amateur Tum-
bIers and Moon faced Angels of
the Sky-IOft Press Should
Have a Care.
The Old Man is After You With
His New corkscrew Machine
and Bogardus Kicker.
SKIP YOU TODDLE KINs. SKIP

Mr.. Watterson in Wednesdays Cour-
ier-Journal delivered himself OF the fol-
lowing The editorial crap-shooters as
he dubs them of the Kentucky Press,
have been annoying him considerable
of late and he goes for them after this
manner:
1.-THE editor Of the Courier-Journal
finds himself the subject OF good deal
of loose comment of the sort which al
WAYS follows an event OF universal in
terest, like the late landslide
The general purpose seems to be not
to state, and then to condemn, what he
actually did that was wicked or said that
was mistaken; but to make a man-oi-
straw congenial to the caprice OF the
moment, to invest this man-of-straw with
certain opinions suited to the end in
view, and then-by way of showing the
skill. or wit OF the self-constituted judge
and executioner-to topple the poor
thing into puddle prepared in advance
to receive it with splash.
On the present occasion all the old adj
jectives, like toy-horses, are trotted out.
All the old adverbs are made to do tin
soldier duty. The least of these affect
ives and adverbs represents the manor
straw-who was ever by nature "eccen-
trio" and by choice Observation-Disclosures
meaning these terms may convey to the
lean and slippered understanding Of the
average prerequisites in a state either
of "frenzy" or ode spair." Erstwhile, the
object of this vicalious and nominal cast
igation has got away with three square
meals day, knocked the spots out OF
eight hours OF sleep each night, and had
o. life in general the lot which falls to
the happy philosopher, whose digestion
is pert ct and whose conscience clear.
If this was not so, what would prevent
the enraged victim, so ruthlessly harass-
ed, from turning upon his pursuers and
tearing them-metaphorically speaking,
OF course-limb from limb2 Alas, no
thing; nothing These crude purloiners
OF pert sallies, these amateur tumblers
with intellectual snap shots-these kids
a kaleidoscope thought-these moon
faced angels of the sky-loft-should have
care. They should indeed. The OBJ
ject of their drilling sarcasm-being out
OF politics, yet Of an inventive and in
cessant turn-has been using his leisure
perfecting an apparatus designed to turn
instantaneously--a paragraphist into
nosegay-to whisk him off the face OF the
earth, as it were, and to twist him out Of
machine, resembling corkscrew, into
hopper-and then to sell him at a
nickel a dozen in the hower-market
Against this continuance, when it is per-
f,cted, the Bogardus Kicker may kick;
but it will kick in vain.
In general way, it would not be amiss
Il the editorial crap shooters should try to
be more respectful-more truthful-if
not more prudent Some OF them ought
to 90 to night school and take few les
sons in grammar, pronunciation and
spelling, as diversion from the living
picture disorder and the cigarette habit,
which lower the standards of the manly
art without elevating those OF journalism.
They really know not what they are risk
ing Suppose, for the cake OF the argu-
ment and the illustration, we should
take one OF these sleek, minimizing, i'm
prudent lambkins across the knee, and,
having slipped bon-bon or two in his
mouth to sugar the dose, turned upon
him-suddenly-maliciously-with one
OF our cast iron, casemated lectures on
journalism. But that is too dreadful to
contemplate Let us dismiss the thought.
Yet. have care lads There is going
to be fight There is going to be heaps
OF fun. Don't you get near the combat
ants. Don't you get between the lines.
Don't you even get too close to the rear
guard. AS Prentiss said to the boys in
the apple-tree: Governor Foote shoots
mighty wildl" Your little squirt-guns
will do you no good. They are annoy
ing to man when he's trying to go to
sleep. They may sometimes even worry
man when he is trying TO mind his own
business. But they won't protect you
against single one of the heels Of q
single one of the mules that are hitched
TO the Protection Commissary wagon
not even SO much as TO mention the fiery
untamed steeds that draw the Free Trade
Chariot. Skip. you toddle-kins, skip
II is friend who is talking to you, ant