The record-union., 1894-03-31
A MOUNT ETNA DISTURBANCE.
Copyright, 1894. All rights reserved.1
THE LAPLOCKS.

THE LAPLOCKS.
''Mind and determination are the su-
preme fortress and defense of woman,
Mr.. Laplock," remarked Mrs. Laplock,
with one of those violent snorts which
are always so undeniably indicative of
the possession of superior mental pow
ers.
IT certainly never disputed it, my
DEAR" replied Mr.. Laplock meekly.
''Oh, OF course not. Being man with
out sympathetic discernment. you cannot
be expected to possess even the courage
to deny it."
"Probably not, dear"
"And it doesn't matter whether you do
or not, Lillibridge Laplock.'
Certainly not; certainly. I merely
meant to suggest. my dear. that the girls,
having attained their majority, might
poss1bly-just possibly, you know-have
minds of their own about the matter of
marriage"
Not bit of it, Lillibridge," inter
posed Miss Cornelia Coventry, maiden
sister of Mrs. Laplock, and who, being
we'll beyond the sunny meridian of life
as well as one of those ''emancipated
women" who in some manner escape the
shackles of marital servitude, could al
ways be relied upon, to the point of
tragedy, in any disarrangement of the
natural heart selections OF the human
race.
Miss Coventry being also as spare of
frame and mind as Mrs. LaplOck was
ample in both, she held in all domestic
matters the relation of echo, reflector and
transmitter of the Laplock family Mind.
On occasion she also spoke up on her
own account, and this was one of the oc-
casions.
Nothing of the sort, Laplock," con-
tinued Mrs. Laplock, with look of
thanks to her sister. Mere children.
Utterly without mind. Simply the
creatures of impulse. Perfectly absurd
from every point OF view"
entirely out OF the question:" echoed
Miss Cornelia.
Not only perfectly absurd and en-
tireIy out OF the question" said Mrs. Lap
lock with oratorIc decision. "but to people
of mind it is singularly grotesque in the
abstract
Intensely repulsive," insisted Miss
Coventry.
'Qulte so, Lillibridge, when your
wealth and my position are considered.
Here is the absurd situation: Along come
a couple OF University Professors, one a
geologist and the other a mineralogist-
practically stone sorter OF miner, and
because you made little Of your wealth
out of mining stocks, you let these low
minded creatures into your office, into
your house, then into your confidence as
10 how much you could divide between
them in case they carried Oft Cecil and
Janet, and the thing is done. Not while
mind and reason hold their imperial
sway, MIR. LapIock?'
'sIVhat is a University Professor, any
how?" inquired Miss Cornelia Coven-
try, with partly closed, contemplative
ewes and contemptuous tremble of her
thin little face
You may we'll ask, sister. A most
pertinent query. will answer. An in
sutferably egotistical ninny to begin
with, and driveling old pauper at the
end. And Lillibridge Laplock would
conspire to give his own child and his
own ward such fate as thisp'
Poor, little, poddy, kind-hearted Lilli-
bridge Laplock always went to the wall
in conflicts with the Laplock Mind and
was now rapidly growing uneasy and
very red in the face.
'But, my dear. what shall we do?" he
apologetically faltered.
'sWhat shall we do? Oh, of course;
certainly. Just like a man." retorted
Mrs. Laplock, rising in agitation and
striding up and down the room as though
ii were a rostrum and Miss Cornelia her
audience. That's the man of il, pre-
cisely. Precipitate calamity, invite ruin,
reach the very edge OF abyssmal dis
grace, then appeal to his helpmate, to
woman, to Mind. Rescued from his
peril, what does he do?"
This was so direct and fervid an appeal
to Cornelia Coventry, as audience, that
she promptly replied:
''Goes straight and tells some other
man what wondeful manager he is"
"Exactly, exactlyw repeated Mrs. Lap
lock with scorn.
''And she who has guided, directed,
counseled and saved, remains unrequited
and unknown" insisted Miss Coventry
with much feeling.
"Oh, don't, my dears! / swear l
WON'T pleaded Mr.. Laplock, now re-
duced to state of capitulation at any
terms, IF you'll just suggest, Mrs. Lap
lock, and we can have things sort of-of
pleasant and comfortable here at Rose
mary Villa. Like old times, you know"
continued Mr.. Laplock with an appealing
look to his wife.
''Then, Lillibridge-acti Let mind aud
determination have their imperial sway.
As Executive officer of the Patchwork
League, Secretary of the Clawtalkon
Circle, Financial Secretary of the Ferosis
Society, President of the Suffrage Per-
suaders, and press motor of the Society
for the Cure of Crippled CANNES, my
motto in the cause has always been:
Mind and action, think and do, touch
and go, explore and explode. DO you
understand, Lillibridge?''
"Quite, my dear. Sort of a 'S-s-s-s-
bang movement, / suppose. But just
which way are we to project ourselves
in this particular case? You know the
girls have told US that the Professors,
poor fellows, will call at Rosemary Villa
this very week for our consent TO their
marriage"
lone year in continental travel! That
will divert, divest, divide"
"When?" gasped Mr.. Laplock, feebly.
Tomorrow. Cecil and Janet are at
Brighton now. 1 will send them dis
patch desiring them to join US at Folke-
Stone tomorrow evening on the assur-
ance that we have pleasant news for
them. 1t doesn't matter what they think.
To sensible young women years con-
tinental travel, with all its opportunities
for observation and alliance, should be a
delightful outlook. You will please at
tend to the necessary arrangements at
once, Mr.. Laplock.
"Antoinette Won Houler Coventry Lap
lockw
Mr.. Laplock never placed consecu-
lively together all the ancestral names
OF his worthy spouse unless overwhelmed