Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1894-02-03
WIT AND HUM0R.
AN EASY NATTER.

He took his comic papers and he gave them "a
the goat;
He vowed that ne no more would read VIA,
comic authors wrote.
For when he put the stoyepipe up with terr,-
on his face,
Twas scarce three placid minutes ere he IN,
itall in place.
Washington star.
Give every man justice and make
him take it Galveston Ne0s.
The coal dealer is an expert in max.
ing little 90 a great weighs.-RgeI.
ester Democrat
The great trouble with the BUDDING
genius is that he is usually nipped IN
the bud.-F1Ic5.
Jagson says many mans reputa.
ton wouldn't know his character bv
sight - Elmira Gazette.
Some men who start out to set tina
world on fire give up at the first thun-
der-clap. -Rana's Horn.
The most pathetic college cry is that
Of the youth whose remittance failed
to PLaiadsalsr.
You can't tell what a man Will do in
a horse trade by the amount Of noise
he makes in church.-Ram's Horn.
points" in the stock market are
probably so called because spectators
generally get stuck on them. -Sifs.
tHgs.
Heidi you say the furniture was
Louis XIV? She-Yes. Why2 He
The bills suggest the Reign OF Ter
ror.-Beau Monde.
Eastern girl-We have the cradle
that my grandfather was rocked in.
Western girl-We have the boots that
my grandfather died in.-P,tck.
He-She is a general favorite among
the men, take il. She-What makes
YOU think SO? He-The women all
seem to hate her--N y. Hsraia.
Traveler-Now, what ought little
boys to say when gentleman gives
them penny for carrying his bag?
Small Boy-'Tain't 'nough. - It'd BIS.
He-I know am not very strong.
but they say it puts new life into an
old man to marry. She-Yes, | sup
pose that's the serious obstacle.-Life.
Thomas-W What did We AVE the COO
pay widened out at tn top like fun
mel for? John The misses ave got
their new cloaks, C.eUelaad PLAIN
dealer.
Hunker-Miss KildufF is girl of the
period She is always asking ques-
tons Spatts-fn that case | should
call her girl Of the Interrogation
point -Jadgc.
Sandy-Come with me. George, and
let us see the widows home. George
Not me, ! saw widow home once
and it cost me a cool 500 and costs
London Itt-BHs.
Husband Ito wife from Boston,
You never find any blue stockings in
the prince Of Wales set. Wife (strong
miuded) No, blue is not fast color.
-LJe'S Calender.
Little Womens is ever so much
better than men. Little Dick-They
is, is they? Well, which would you
rather have,\a stepmother or a stepfa-
ther?-- Good NeOs
Painter There, now, is my new
picture, What's the matter with that,
eli? Quiet Frieud--I don't know, but
! should say that it was a case Of art
failure. Boston Transcript.
Bad Boy (gleefully)-I bad the ear
ache this morning. Good Boy w hat
good is that? Bad Boy-Me mother
put cotton in me ears and now | don't
hear 'er when she calls Good Ne1OS.
Ada-lf you want to get her, don't
be so abjectly devoted. You simply
cheaper yourself in her eyes Frank
Then she will take me. Jennie
never could resist bargain Brook
Ign Life.
Tenant (hesitatngly - I've been
reading very good article in my pa
per headed Rents Must Come Down"
Landlord Confidently ALI right; you
just come down with the rent-BOston
Transcript
Upstreete (sympathetically) -Poor
Lushley! He is going to the bad so
fast there will soon be no hope for him.
Yagsr (who has seen the ticket Dyes;
his watch is beyond redemption now
--Bufalo Courier.
Folks is always maxim fun of de
fellers dat de WORT calls 'has-beens "
said Uncle Nose, but it looks TO me
lax il am heap better fer man to be
has-been dan to be a nebber was. ~
Indianapolis J0urHak
Li7ingston-l didn't know that you
and Miss Featherspray were so well
acquainted. Niua-Oh, yes; we are
distantly related. Liyingston--How?
Nina-Wo are both sisters to the same
young man. Vogue.
How do you know. then, the young
artist has an income outside of his
profession2" asked the landlady's
daughter. Because" was the conf
dent reply che pays his rent regular
~. - dSttHgtON star.
Cholly--I should hate to marry such
q bright woman. Why, last week her
husband sent her telegram saying he
should stay late at the office and she
sent an answer to the club that she
would sit up till 3.--LJe.
Ethel-How did he make all his
money? misunderstanding He was
the greatest smoker in America. Ethel
Nonsense, Charlie; you can't make
money by smoking. Gabrielle did.
EIa p,,,,l.aA p..y,., u.gyg,st