Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1894-03-23
a HEATED ARGUMENT.
Ii Might Have Beea Better or Worse II
They Had Only Had Dictionary.

Ii Night Have Beea Better or Worse II
They Had Only Had - Dictionary
LIS o lamentable fact that differ
Ell - Aion as to pronunciation
"a hes Beeomes provocative of
- epehavior Often what ought
tobe#f Maetic joust degeneratss into
alteration, amid Tartarian avalanche
of words.
Not1Qug since robust disputative
collegAn--his clothes of the latest Pail
Mall cub his carmtne bifurcated neck
tie ovnamented with solitaire, his
hair dressed with oleomargarine and
perfumed with ambergfis. his face in
noeent of hirsute adornment. but his
mouth guilty of Observation-Disclosures p
senile, sblenetie lawyer that he did not
pronounce according to the dictionary.
For observed the young man, with
an air of research, lin your Tuesdays
address you said that the sight of cere-
ments sufficed to enervate an attorney;
that salamander treated for obesity
with prussic acid and pomegranate
rind, was disinclined TO serpentine
movements; that during a soporifc dis
course delivered to concourse of
youths. eleven exiSsous, sacrilegious
dwarfs. though under SURVEILLANCE
made grimaces at an aged man sitting
on a three-legged stool; that one of
these supple, exile fellows of interest
ing geneafogy, being rebuked. looked
eontrite, but Immediately freseoed
coadjutor's Elizabethan collar
with cocaine and marmalade;
that in an Aldine edition of
legal work you read of a lugubrious
man afflicted with virulent varioloid
and purulent eczema, for which
jocund gynecologist injected iodine
aud cayenne pepper with syringe
warmed in a chaldron of tepid syrup
malpractice suit being the result
BY the way you have dictionary
Dictionary" replied the lawyer,
s'pugh! It is granary from which
the pronupciatien fend fills his COM
missariat With orthoepic romanees and
vagaries to him grow into
phi1ogic fetch; and this fetichism finds
outward expression in a supescilious
estentation of erudite vacuity."
Nothing daunted the Young man con-
tinued: SYoa san. According to pre-,
cedent it was obligatory Upon him to
plait his hair as lns nomad parents had
done, and precedent to stepping under
the m4stietoe INDUCED in fulsome
praise of himself. hoping thereby to in
duce faVorite girl to join him. But
she being aserse to undergoing dn
ordeal So yrefragably embarrassing re.
fused; wherenpon hfs features became
immobile with chagrin. .Fhis is a
verbatim quotation You sometimes
consult dictionary?"
Young man. retorted the lawyer,
his aquiline nose quivering with de-
risive dSsdatn, ito illustrate the 3dn-
eonsistenee of dictionary. see how
demagogy is pronounced; then turn to
pedagogy.
Pardon me, was speaking of you.
In ySsr peroration this occurs: An in-
cognito communist. being command
ant on the frontier, in one of his hunt
ing expeditions came upon an Indian,
who, to the accompaniment of the
soughing wind, was softly playing a
fiageolet, for the purpose of quietidb
wounded. hydrophobic Bengal tiger
penned IfD in howell The colonels
companion, a Malay from Singapore,
acting as sepeschal or pursuiyant sug-
gested ho6gkina the rampant animal.
or giving &eame dynamite, morphine
and saline yeast. A moose was adjust
ed and the nauseous dose administered,
whereupon the combative tiger coming
in premature contact with difaptdat-
ed divan babe adieu to things sublun-
airy and proceeded to grace the en-
pyrean. You have dictionary?h
The old man becoming angered at
the rail@ry of this question, and at the
cherubn smile of superiority with
which it was asked, launched forth in
an objurgating TRADE; insisting that
he did not regard himself sacrifcable
to the juggernaut of orthoepy.
Kave1S dietionary?9 Numbered he;
dictionary be hanged"
Here ar6hangels began the sonorous
chanting Of the music of holero, and
the dSputapts adjourned sine die
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