The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1894-01-18
SHALL HUSBAND
OR WIFE RULE?
Mrs. Henry Ward Beecher
Defines the Province
of Each.
The Wife's Love and Confidence, and
the Husbands Manliness and COur.
age the Best Safeguards.

We have seen and heard this ques-
ton often discussed. Some say that
"as the wife has all the care and re-
sponsibility in managing the house
hold, she should be the ruling power"
Others claim that "as the husband is
usually the bread winner and earns
what his wife spends for the family
needs he should have the deciding
voice in all matters of importance; he
should govern"
Govern! We dislike the use of that
word. 1t should never be seen in word
or act never enter the heart between
man and wife. No woman can be as
happy as God intended marriage
should make her if her husbands love
is CHIEFLY manifested by his disposition
to govern. Few women, however, low
ing and self sacrificing, il endowed
with good sense and judgment, ever
yield their own preconceived ideas and
theories to their husbands judgment
and dictation. A man would depise
a woman who did. 1t would strengthen
the bond between them to discuss the
matter-if the union is so strong be-
tween them that they can do so-in q
pleasant and loving way. But wives
sometimes, after few years, do, un-
fortunately, learn that it tends to more
harmony to refrain from aguring or
discussion, even when their own con-
victions have not changed. 1t is a
great pity that such reticence should
ever be found the wisest way.
THE IDEAL HOME LIFE.
In copartuership concern. which
the marriage relation certainly is,
there may be two heads or two govern
ing powers, the husband having con-
troll over his department, the work
shop; the wife hers, the home.
But in order that the home shall
not become divided against itself let
there be frequent meetings for con.
sultation and advice. and where is
brought the intuition, which is a part
of the woman's nature, to assist the
sound, common sense which should
bslong to the man.
But q loving wife finds it no cross
to allow her husband so to shape her
life as will best meet his tastes and
wishes provided always that he does
not lead her aside from her conscien-
tous conviction of duty. She should
always bear in mind that although she
lis his wife, she is none the less re-
sponsible being that she, and not her
husband. at the last day must stand or
fall according to what she has done
with the talents intrusted to herself
alone, and not to her husband.
The best and purest elements OF a
woman's character can never be so
thoroughly developed as by the love,
confidence and tenderness OF her hus-
band. Giving this with manly, loving
courtesy, he will find rich reward in
such Joy and comfort as only a happy
womau's thoughtful care can bring.
But il q husband determines that his
will shall be the controlling motive for
their daily life and conduct God be
merciful to home thus governed
This course he does no. call governing
Ay his will, but by his "rightful
ithority as head OF the house." That
~ of defining his actions sounds
tier nevertheless those four letters
4 rlll) better express his real nearing.
MUTUAL CONCESSIONS NECESSARY.
a spirit OF compromise should gov.
Is the home. A determination in
Zach to have his or her own way, even
though carried out in quiet manner,
will inevitably result in no peace. In
all matters of RICH and justice let the
principles OF each be founded on a
rock. In all matters of unimportance
he yielding, one to the other.
It is just this assumption OF rule or
dominant power that robs so many
homes of the perfection that should be
hardly one step removed from the
glory and perfection of heavenly life.
If all could realize the difference be-
tween the service the wife renders in
authority and that poured out unceas-
ingly and spontaneously for love alone,
what change there would be in many
homes! No duty can then be thought
hard-no toll oppressive. Her whole
life is ioyfully given for the comfort Of
him whose every word and act tells
her she is most precious in his sight
pot simply valued because she is con-
venient, but truly beloved, and held
in all honor in his heart.
Her husbands love thus manifested
he will be her tower of strength-a