West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-04-12

fa opener "a uUzeIf Dornesui champagne,
and they fairly bathed in it, as though
they had fire inside. Pa tried TO talk
with them about the baby, but they
couldn't understand. and finally they got
full and started out, and the leader asked
Pa for 80. and that broke him.
"Pa told the leader he supposed the
gentlemen who had got up the serenade
had paid for the music. and the leader
pointed to me and said was the gentle
man that got it up. Pa paid him. but he
had wicked look in his eye. and me and
my chum lit ont. and the Bohenlians
came down the street bin full, with their
horns on their arms. and they were talk
ing bohemian for all that was out. They
stopped in front OF vacant house and
began to play, but you couldn't tell
what tune it was. they We're SO full, and
q policeman came along and drove them
homo. | guess ! will sleep ut the livery
stable tonight. cause Pa ia so offul I'M
reasonable whom anything costs him SO
besides the champagne"
Well, you have made a pretty mess
OF It," said the grocery man. "It's
wonder your Pa does not kill you. But
what Is 1t hear about the trouble at the
church? They lay that foolishness to
you"
Its all lie. They lay everything to
me. 1t was some OF them ducks that
sing in the choir. | was just HIS much
surprised AS anybody when it occurred.
You see, our minister is laid up from the
effect OF the ride to the funeral, when he
tried to run over a street car, and an old
deacon who had symptoms of being
minister in his youth was invited to take
the minister's place and talk n little. He
is an absentminded old party, who don't
keep up with tho events of the day, and
whoever played it on him knew that he
was too pious to even read the daily pa-
pers. There was q notice of chc.-
meeting to be read, and think the tenor
smuggled in the other notice between
that and the one about the weekly prayer
meeting. Anyway it wasn't me, but it
like to broke up the meeting
After the deacon read the choir no.
tice he took up the other one and read:
i am requested to announce that the Y.
M. Z. association will give a friendly
entertainment with soft gloves on
Tuesday evening, to which all are in
vited Brother John Sullivan, the emf
nent Boston revivalist, will lead the ex-
ercises. assisted by Brother Slade, tho
Maori missionary from Australia. There
will be no smuggling, but collection will
be taken up at the door to defray ex-
penses. Well. thought the people in
church would sink through the floor
There was not person in the church,
except the poor old deacon, but who un-
derstood that some wicked wretch had
deceived him, and | know by the way
the tenor tickled the soprano that he did
1t. may be mean, but everything do
is innocent, aud | wouldn't be as mean
as choir singer for 81.
IL felt real sorry for tho old deacon,
but he never knew what he had done,
and think it would be real mean TO tell
him. He won't be at the Smuggling match
That remark about taking up a collec-
ton settled the deacon. must go down
to the stable now and help grease hack,
so you will have to excuse me. If Pa
comes here looking for me, tellhim you
heard was going to drive picnic party
out to Waukesha and may not be back
in week. BY that time Pa will have
got over that Bohemian serenade," and
the boy filed his pistol pocket with dried
apples and went out and hung a sign In
front of the grocery:
.''.-s.'''s.'+s'.sss.s s-sss..s..ss...s..s.......
STRAWBERRIES, TWO sHILLINGs
A SMELL,
AND ONE SMELL Is ENOUGH. :
ss...ssss... ..s.......s...............1