The morning call., 1894-03-25

packed away on the top shelf of my closet
row of primers and readers. biographies,
spelling-bookS and arithmetics, and l have
stopped work for the rest of my life
Through all these forty-four years have
squeezed resolutely all the sweets out OF
existence and stored them up to make
kind Of tasieless but life-su5taining honey
for old age. have never spent one penny
unless for the barest pecessaries. L nave
added term by term 10 the sum on my
handbook until l have been able to build
this house and have a sufficient sum at In
terest to live upon. l need little. very
little, to eat and l wear my clothes care
fully and long.
l was never extravagant IN clothes but
once. That was twenty-five years ago.
when l was So, and expected to be married
in tbe spring. l had a green silk dress
then-a bright green. But ] had it dyed
black. and after all got considerable wear
out of il, although II was tiimSy. Colored
silk is ant to be. l had blue wooden. toe
2 color l should never have bought if
faded. l also had a black velvet cloak.
something that was very costly, and /
should not have bought it under apy cir
cumstances. but l was foolish. However
that mas made my winter bonnets ever
since 1t was good piece and not cut up
much.
Looking backward forty-four wears I
cannot remember any other extravaganza
than this outlay in clothes when | expected
10 be married at 35 | never have bought
any candy except few cough drops when
naQ cold. L have never bought a rib
bon even, or breastpin. / have aiways
worn my mothers old hairpin, although it
was so old fashioned and the other girls
had pretty gold and coral or cameo ones.
My mother died when l was IA; my
teach. Ny father left me nothing. Mother
was sick all her life nearly, and he could
not lay up a cent However, there was
enough to pay his funeral expenses, and |
was thankful for that. [ sometimes Won
der what my father would say if he could
see me now aud know how | am situated
/ wonder If he would think l had done
pretty we'll. don't know how it can make
any difference to him now; he is past all
such earthly Vanities, even if he knows
about them, but l do sometimes feel glad
have done so well, on his account Any
body has sto have some account, besides
their own, even if it is somebody's that's
dead.
have built this house. with six rooms
IN II, ana WOndShed. / have a little
land, too. keen hens. and l am going to
have vegetable garden back of the
house and flower garden in front.
have good |eolen carpets all over the
house except in the kitchen. I have
topped table. and a marble shelf with a
worked plush scarf on it. | have a hand.
some dining set and two beautiful silk
quilts pieced from bits my scholars gave
me: L shouldn't be ashamed to have any,
body 90 over my house. And l keep it
nice, too; you could not find 4 speck of
dust anywhere. OF course, | have nobody
10 put 1t out of order. and that makes
difference. 1t has always been my habit
to look at all the advantages there is in life,
nd I ma To
almost everything. | can keep my house
great deal nicer than / conld if | were
not alone in the world. I sometimes
wonder what should do if l had a man
coming IN with muddy boots or children
tracking IN dirt and stubbing out my car
pets or kicking the paint off my new
doors
To tell the truth. I have never cared
much about children, though have been
teaching them fOrty-four years. l never
dared TO say so before. but it is true.
Once in while | saw child that !
thought good deal of, but taking them all
together. l have often wondered how their
own mothers could stand them. ! would
have worked my fingers to the bone for the
few did take notion to | fairly grudged
them TO their folks, but the others-aud l
lad TO hide II, too; IL wouldn't have been
good for the children to think | was par
tial. They had all the meanness of grown
up folks, without knowing enough to hide
il. Grabbing each others apple-cores and
teasing away each oilers candy, and the
big ones pIaguing the little ones, throwing
paper balls and marking up the walls and
everything else. L know. for one, that
there's something in the doctrine of origi-
nal sin. | guess that most women that
have Taught district school forty-f0ur
years do.
have never been sure. either. that they
learned anything SOS TO remember it and
have it do them any good. have always
been afraid that no matter how hard l
tried to do my duty BY them, it was never
quite done, and that | was teaching myself
more than anybody else. just as [ always
seemed 10 hit my own hands harder than
a scholars when | had to ferule one.
l could travel all over the earth, on the
nap, and never once lose my way, but
wonder if my scholars could. [ can spell
through the speling-book without missing
a word, but l know that not one of my
scholars can do it. | can do every sum in
the arithmetic. measure the depths OF all
the wells. calculate the speed of all the
dogs and foxes, and say the multiplication
tables by heart, but am quite sure that
no boy or girl ever lett my scnool who
could 1t seems to me sometimes that
have gone to school to my scholars instead
of my scholars going to school TO me, and
that have never been of any benefit to
any one of them.
Still | bave sometimes thought that l
was. Once. and in a strange way. be-
came attached to the strangest scholar
ever had. Before thinking even of this
scholar and this story have to review my
face and my whole character in my men
tai vision, as before a glass. to establish,
as it were, my own reliability to myself.
Is it likely thatany body who looks like that
should tell herself that she saw what she
did not see, or heard what she did not
hear? Is it likely that anybody who is
like that SHOULDN'T after all, | was never
given to saying things that weren't plain
common-sense. Still il has always kind
of seemed TO me when [ thought of that
time in Marshbrook. that it didn't ring like
any known metal. But there may be some
metals that really are on earth, though
they are not known, L suppose. and any,
body might hear them ring, and be honest
enough about II.
1t was Just twenty-five years ago to-day
that went to Marshbrook to teach the
No. l district school. 1t was right IN the
middle of springtime. had given up my
old school because / was expecting TO be
married that May. But when / found out