The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-01-11
HUMOR OF THE. WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many odd. Curious, and Laughabic Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists Of Our own Day
"a Budget Of Pun.
Sprinkles of Spice.

ALL persons old enough 10 near
arms should be vaccnated. Plea
yune.
THE man who Is driven to drink"
usually has to walk back. -Ionkcrs
Statesman.
SOME people uc'ccd in taking time
hy the forelock. but they cannot hold
him. Galveston News.
No, MAUD. dear, al meetings OF
the lumbcrmen are not board meet
ing. gs.-Philadclpha Record.
WIGGrNs says that popping the
question is Il qucstionab." proceed
ing. .-BinShamton Republican.
No MAS was ever so much in love
that he found himself unable to sleep .
sunday morning. Elmira Gazette.
You can'ttcll what Il man viii do F.
i'm horse trade 10y the amount OF .
noise he makes in church. Rams
| Horn.
UNLIKE the photographers, the
dark room in courtiug is mainly used
for dcvcl Dping alternatives. -phila-
dclphia Times.
TIE toy-pistOl victim comes once Il
year but the crank VINO wants TO
shoot Niagara Falls is perennial. -
Washington star.
WnEN pretty girl prefers a ruI
log tu a young man for au escort,
who is the joke on, anyway; ;-C.cyc.
land Plain Dealer.
THE top-hcayy cXuhcrancc Of It.
dies cloakS makes shouldcr-hlttjnl
involuntary on the pubic walks.-
Boston transcript
Mis- FAELAR-"l hear you give
much FOR charity Mr.. Tumtum-
81 suppose 50. My hired girl has lots
Of relatives. .'-EXchange,
llE-"Whcrc ignorance Is bliss It's
folly TO lie wise" She (cuyiou>lyl--
"My. my; how suprcmcly blisSful you
ought 10 be-. Exchange.
"JAwLEY was at thee uh lastnight. -
WAS he; Did he TALK" "NcS.' -
what about About half the
night. Ilaipcr's lia2ar.
Sxoot;-I always believe i'm calling
spade spade. CrooN- 50 do /: cX-
ccpt when ! am trying TO ldkc
through club flush. Puck.
JUuGE-"Can't YOU and your hUs-
hand live happily together without
lighting" Mrs Mu,rahy NO. yer
anncT MT happily brooklyn Life.
TRAVELLER - Now, wha. ought
little boys TO say when "A gentleman
gives them a pcnay for carving mi,
bag? Small boy-'Taiu't nough. ~
II.- i1lrs.
A COMPLAINT Of n 4.ycar. Old: "Oh.
aunty, | inst went 70 touch Il little
chicky. ana the old hen growlcd at
me, and bit me with her nose" -Bos.
ton Courier
pporE.,op-IIowu are the hiyaIycs
dividod> student -'rhny mint diyid.
cd NJ ain You swoIInw ,r,u whole
with a little lemon jui,c and pcppcr
sauce. .-EXchaure.
\-,,,.r,, II,,, ,,, ,o l,,,v tb,t
rt. I,irvclo I. , medal ,f ,o,g bn,In,
", W,, d,or sir i, !, CARA mo-, o. ,oq ua
.l,,,,,I w., ia,,, ,,,,,,.l, ,,,,,ro
Than H. is worth.--Gon1 New.
NEW oi'Nf -- Gu "oh sec any
grass III our stirctS' 'Iy""S' Hht
rom ihiIauc'pn,a a. 40 o. NuSI
be llc climate Inc son Is ccr'a my
''', '''oUH"' 'iooN' > N''c'
lie 10 you thlnk couid get Il
PISS on your latherN r"ad; she
NO; they don pass ANYTHING hut
dlvldchds on ms road We II ara
MN say So Lilies Calendar
lI'S LOOKS IKE eood lafihihR
rouhu'S' s"lu ''"Nu.cI III No'Ih
DAKOTA 10 haliVe. hat 40 you
RAISE mostly me mint replied
thc iaII'I' pI'cIS'- EAcilahgc'
THE personal estate Of the late DR..
John H. = foHH' OF Boston, includes
autographs valued at S2''OOO. HIS
helrs VIII appreciate now h'Ich there
Il. in . len al t,l I ,I,