The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1894-05-15
Mr.. and Mrs Bilkins Take in the Memo
rial Exercises--Measuring "My"
Neiphbors Corn.

B.-"HelIol Mr.. Editor"
R.-t,Good morning Major. Where
did you get that bad coldG"
BIT got her in Raleigh on the 10th
I reckon. You see they alters hev a
big time in the city on that day and
Betsy bein' an old confederate veterin
she wanted to be on hand. You see 1
wuz in the war an did the fightin' but
Betsy wants ter do the jolliiyin' an
the splurgin' Ground now after it Is
awl over"
R.-"Mrs. Bilkins is a real patriot.
You don't think about anything but
Office now, while she is ready at all
times to honor the dead heroes who fell
on many battlefields You are a patriot
for pie only"
B.-'I knowed you would throw that
up ter me. Well, a publick man like
me expecks ter be criticized like evei y
thing an called names. I reckon me
an Buck Kitchin hev stood a lot ov it
an can stand sum more"
R.-'Do you know that Mr.. Kitchin
has Joined the ranks of the reformers9"
B.-"No. Is that so7 I'll bet fifty
cents he wants an offs"
R.-"There, now; you are accusing
him of being In bed with the same dis
ease that is carrying you to an untime-
~ grave. Strange that omce-seekers
are 80 ready to measure their neigh
boris corn in their own half ,busheI. But
tell me more about your trip to Raj,
eigh."
B.-"Well, l hitched up the mules to
the buggy an fixed up an waited nifty
nigh two hours fur Betsy. 1t takes a
woman an awful long time ter rig her
self up. I kept hurryin' Betsy, but
she lowed it wouldn't do fer the wife
ov a perspective member ov the legis-
later ter go ter Raleigh half fixed.
That sorter passified me an | got more
pashient. We finally druve ter town
an then me an Betsy went Ground
shakin' hands. Me an Betsy met DIR.
BlacknalI. He lowed hello! Zeke;
you are still hankerin' after offs, l
&reckon. You had better attend to
ycsqr farm an let politics alone Says
/, dPctor, you are in a nifty poor place
ter 8e givin' that sort on advice. You
hev1 bin in politicks erbout awl your
life an when you git out you just stand
at the door an wait fer the mob ter
turn so you kin git in ergin," Then we
went Ground ter see Mr.. Graham Hay
wood, the f~otograffer who tux my pic
ter when Betsy wuz leadin' me bi the
knose. He is az handsum az ever.
Next we went up ter the Capitol an
seed Governor Carr, Secretary Coke
an awl ov the folks up there. The
Governor and Captain Coke asked me
erbout the Alliance. They sayed it
wuz g nifty guide thing before hi5 went
inter politicks. but that it haint bin no
place fer them since. I tole them they
sorter reminded me ov the boy who
eat awl ov a big apple pie an then
lowed it wuzent a bit guide. I told
them they didn't find put that it wuz
SIGH a bad thing until after they got
relief an then they commenced throw
in rocks at the Alliance an both ov
'em stopped their subscriptions ter THE
PROGRESSIVE FARMER. They looked
sorter sick at the stomach before 1 got
through, an I could hear betsy snick-
erin an see her stufin' her banker
cheef in her mouth ter keep from
laffn'. After we got out of the capitol
an paid our respects ter George Wash
ington's statue whut stands in the
capitol yard, Betsy How'd that I wuz
purity hard on them f~ellers, but it
tickled her. She sed that she guessed
I would do the same way if I happened
ter git ter be a member ov the legis-
later; that 1 would say the pie wuz
sorter nasty an change my boardin'
plase. I tole her no, that 1 mite hev
q guide many Shortcomings, but I would
never go back on my mother Just be-
cause I he'd ct awl the pie in site, fer l
mite git hungry ergin before long,
Then we went an heerd Mr.. Mont
gomery's address on the life of Gineral
Fender, who wuz a nifty brave man,
then marched ter the confederit ceme-
terry where the soldiers are buried an
put flowers on their graves an the
soldiers whut amt dead yit fired three
salutes over the grave We started
home then, and 1 thought Betsy would
die frum tite lasin'. You see she weighs
two hundred and forty, that ia her
ftin' waite, an she amt use ter title
lasin' corsits an things an she wuz in
q awful fix before she got home. But
we will go back on the next tenth ov
May. Goodbye.