Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-10-30
A CURE FOR BORES.


 "Oh, no. Worse than that good deal"
 II didn't know anything could be worse in these panicky times What is it:''
 II have n friend" said Bremner, "or a man who thinks himself my friend, and whom for certain reasons l wish to shake of, but he refuses to be shaken. Now, you are q resourceful man and may be able to give me hint. I have tried everything with Snaggs-every- thing short of positive insult-and all to no purpose.
 What is the matter with him?' ask ed Sommers.
 ''The matter is this: He has a boy : years old or thercaboutS, and he always persists in talking about the lad-in fact, he can't talk of anything else and imagines every one as deeply inter- eSted as himself. I have nothing at all against the boy. He is a good enough, commonplace little fellow, like all the rest of them. I never see any difference ill boys myself. They all seem equally objectionable. But Snaggs comes to our house, sits down and talks about his boy until I am nearly driven crazy. l hope you can suggest something for my relief
 II suggest" said Sommers, that you take SnagCs to the state of Michi- gan, L. S A, and kill him.
 "Wby to Michigan:" queried Brem- ner.
 ''Oh, simply because they don't hang for murder there, and any penalty short of hanging should be cheerfully borne to get rid of a man like Snaggs."
 ''I didn't know you were acquainted with him., said Brcmner excitedly.
 I'm not, but I'm afflicted in the same way myself.
 ''NousenSe"' cried Bremner. "I Inever even heard you mention your children. |"
 II mean that 1 am afflicted with a friend like Snaggs. It's n daughter in his case. His name Is Gregsby. I'm even worse of than you are, for this only daughter is but , years old. You are two years ahead of me. By and by the boy will reach years of discretion. and he will get there quicker than Grcgsby's girl
 Il don't know about that" Bremncr replied sloomily. Girls grow up so much faster than boys do"
 But they never reach years of dis crction. you know"
 II don't believe any son of Snaggs' will either. The boys father hasn't, at any rate. But say. SVmmcrs, mn idea strikes me. Why not introduce Snaggs and GrCGsby tO each Other:'
 That wouldn't be bad plan, " re- piled Sommers checrfully, and then We might bet on them. I'll back my man to be the greater bore. "
 There wouldn't be any use in bet ting" said Ercmncr, for If your man is as bad aS mine it could only end in a draw.
 Bring your man round. and we'll test the case
 shall l bring Snaggs to your house torIorruw night them" asked Bremner.
 ''YcS, and If you're i'll for bet I'm your victim l have great faith in Grrgsby and would like to have a little stake un him. -
 Its serious subject with me, :" re- piled Brcmncr.
 ''Oh, very well. then, I'll expect you tomorrow night about o'clock, though 1 suspect your man is not half so capa- ble bore aS mine
 IL Was a few minutes before s o'clock when GrcgShv pressed the electric but ton at the SOmmers residence. Sommers heard him talking to Mrs. SOmmers in the hall, saving: "Oh, yes, thank you. she Is quite we'll I'll tell you some thing funny that she said today to her mother.
 SommerS groaned and helped himself to q quantity of the stimulant provided for his guests The next moment Gregs- by appeared. smiling, and Sommcrs greet. ed him with well feigned cordiality.
 Very soon the bell rang again, and g few minutes after Bremner was intro ducing SnaGgs to the two sitting in the smoking room.
 ''Beastly weather this, " said Gregsby to the newcomers. II don | mind the weather myself, but when a man has children he is compelled to think of it. ''
 Have you children:" asked Snaggs, with apparent interest. I've little boy myself. but he doesn't mind the weather iu the least. '' II shouldn't say children, " replied Gregsby. II have one little girl, and she is only , years old, but wonderfully knowing for her age. and this weather is so bad that she misses her walk with her mammal We never trust her with. out a nurse, you know'- II was saying" broke ill Snaggs, that l have little boy myself. He i: ! :, and he goes cut in all sorts of weath CT. I don't believe in coddling children. And that reminds me of q clever thing he said to me this morning. He always comes little piece of the way with m, | when I start for the office. He''- ''Ah. yes. interrupted Gregsby, ''bu 1 girls are delicate little creatures ant l have to be taken care of Quite so, agreed Snaggs. "I admi l that there are disadvantages about girl that boys are quite free from.'' ''Disadvantagesr cried Gregsby "You don't mean to say that grea clumsy boy is to be compared with neat little girl? would rather have girl any day, big or little. than boy.
 ''Oh, every one to his taste, !" sai' Snaggs loftily. By the way, Bremner did I tell you what my boy said tn other day when I took him to have hi hair cut?''
 "No," said Bremner enthusiastical ly. Tell it to us, Snaggs-"
 Girls, ' put in Gregsby, "don't hay to have their hair cut My littlo gir has the most beautiful of golden hai you ever saw. You've seen it, Sommers Every one turns to look at her when sh walks out with her mother"
 'HumphF' said Snaggs, with fl concealed contempt Twas saving tba I took my boy to have his hair cut mn,