davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
when War is Declared

Against mans happiness by his stomach,
the enemy may be pacifed and brought
speedily and easily to terms, That potent
regulator of digestion, Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters, dlsciPli,nes the rebelli Gus, organ i
ness of the stomach and the food in it, for
want of the power TO digest, decomposes and
acidifes, giving rise to heartburn, Hatulence
and pain, besides multitude of symptoms
both changeful and perplexing. But peace
soon reigns when the great stomachic is re-
sorted 10 and used with persistence. Dys-
pepsia gives rise to morbid discomposure of
mind, and even sleeplessness and hypochon-
dria in chronic cases. To the complete dis
missal of these the Btters is fully adequate.
Liver complaint, constipation, debility,
rheumatism and malaria are completely
subdued by this genial medicine.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
INC Parson and the IPhonogrnnh.

A story is told Of preacher who
used the monograph to aid him in
his PASTORAL duties.
1t happened that the unfortunate
Clergyman was Overworked, having
charge Of Two parishes, one in a large
city and one In q suburban town.
1t occurred to him that by preaching
his discourse in the monograph, on
Saturday it coald be @gtUund out"
by an assistant on Sunday afternoon,
to the suburban congregation, reliev-
ing him Of the otherwise necessary
obligation of delivering two dis
courses.
The scheme was given % trial and
proved itself satisfactory'toall parties
concerned especially to the pastor,
as he WIS left free to spend the Sun
day afternoon with his family.
One Saturday morning, as the
clergyman was delivering his dis
course for the following day into the
monograph, he was Interrupted in
the middle of the sentence, "And
WlHb 'ulu MOSES say 10 Une CnllQTen
of Isgael?" 'by his wife calling out
that two gentlemen were waiting to
see him.
Without shutting off the current,
so to speak, the clergyman said,
"Tell the gentlemen ITO call again,
Pm out" and continued his address
to toe instrument
Everything went along smoothly at
the suburban service the next after
noon, the congregation becoming very
much interested in the discourse on
Moses, until the monograph repeated
the pastors words in a!loud voice,
~And what did Moses say to the
children Of Israeli"
A short silence only served to make
the congregation the more eager
to catch the biblical answer to this
question, when, to the utter surprise
Of all assembled, the beloved voice
Of their pastor chimed forth,
"Tell the gentlemen to call again,
I'm out.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
lao BUS. PoTA1oFs PER ACRE

This astonishing yield was reported
by Abe Hahn, of Wisconsin, but Sal
zer's potatoes always get there. The
editor Of the Rural New Yorker reports
. yield of 736 bushels and pounds
per acre from one of Salzer's early
potatoes Above 1,410 bushels are
from Salzer's new Seeding Hundred
fold. His new early potato, Lightning
Express, has a record of 500 bushels
per acre, He offers potatoes as low as
$3.50 a barrel, and the best potato
planter in the world for but So.
CORN OVER 1 FOOT LONG.
Salzer illustrates in a'colored plate a
new early corn, a giant of its kind, and
offers $500 in gold for the largest ear
in 1894, In addition to this early Giant
corn, which yielded in 1893 ITO bushels
per acre, he has ever twenty other
prolific field corns. He has the best
fodder corn ard the best corn shelter
in the world. He is the largest grower
of farm seeds, such as oats, barley,
wheat, millet, potatoes, etc, in Amer
lea Fifty lindsOf grasses and clover.
II You VIII Out This Out and Send 1t
With 15c to the John A. Salzer Seed
Co., La Crosse, Wis, you will receive
large package of above Giant corn
and his mammoth catalogue W
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
The Meanest Man Anywhere.

Who is the meanest man in the
world? Some time ago the Evening
Post gave its opinion as to the name
Of the meanest man in Chicago-the
fellow who took bread from relief
headquarters while drawing hand
some rentals from two brick buildings,
But that fellow was mere amateur
in meanness compared with William
A. Quackenboss, Of St. Paul, as
William is pictured by his wife.
I'm over forty years. experience at
the bar and on the bench l have new
er seen nor heard of a case which for
hendish cruelty comes anywhere near
this, said Judge Tuley in granting
the divorce. 1t Is difficult to sum.
Marie Williams claims for glory.
He made his wife walk fifteen miles
a day, he allowed her SO a week for
household expenses, he forced her to
chop the kindling wood, Sometimes
she slept on the floor of her room, at
other times on the floor Of the wood
shed. After baby was born he
knocked her down, or so she swears,
and when she sobbed he put her on
bread and water for eleven days-a
day for every sob. In return for
these pleasantrles he forced her to
stand at the head of the stairs and
greet his homecoming with the cry;
"Oh, William I'n so glad you have
come home, Come and kiss mel"
1t would be Idle to cite other proof
of William Quackenboss' title The
West Side mean man is a wretched
upstart He is a philanthropist in
disguise--a large hearted, open-hand.
ed, sunny minded, blooming philan-
throplst and William Quakenboss is
king, That "Come and kiss me"
disposes of Gll argument. Chicago
Post.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
High-Chalr Philosophy.

"OH, Tommy, that was abomlnaBle
in you to eat your sisters share Of the
cake" why" said Tommy, didn't
you always tell me, ma, that / am to
take her part?"-Exchange.
PAPA-What is your mamma doiDg9
Little daughter - Knitting Papa
(surprised)-E Knitting? WhatY
Little daughter don't know, but
you needn't be scared. 1t isn't her
brows. Good News
INPATIENT FATHER - Here, you
young rascal, what are you doing?
Wow. Let go of my hair. Are you
trying to pull the top of my head off?
Angel Child-Yep. Want to see the
wheels 90 round. Detroit Tribune.
ED1TH-Ma, that new maid is
awful stupid. Mamma-What has
she done? Il wanted to practice a
little, so sent her to the mushroom
for the Lost Chord" "Well?" "She
brought me the clothes-line. Texas
Siftings.
OLD GENTLEMAN-What would you
like to be when you grow up? Boy
I'd like to be a bricklayer. "That's
acommendable ambition. Why should
you like to be a bricklayer?" "Cause
there so many days when bricklayers
can't work. Tit Bits.
"LITTLE girl, do you know whose
house this is?" asked a solemn-look-
ing man of bright child seated on
the church steps. ayes, sir; it's
Gods, but He amt in" she added as
the old gentleman was about to walk
up the steps, "and His agents gone
to Europe. christian Advocate.
Polly was drawing pictures on the
slate for 3-year-old Ralph. Look at
this dog, Ralph, she said. "Isn't it
nice. l drew it out of my own head.
aOh, no., answered Ralph, solemnly.
ut came right out of the pencil.
saw it come" Then he added, with
an airof deep thoughtfulness. there's
lots Of dogs in the pencil, but l don't
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

know how they got there|--Harper's
Young People.
MAMMA" inquired Bobby, "do
only good little boysgo up to heaven?"
"Yes, dear" "And bad little boys to
the bad placer" "Yes." "I'm a good
little boy, amt I?" Sometimes,
Bobby, and sometimes you are quite
a bad little boy" Bobby thought for
a moment, and said; "Then ! s'pose
III have to spend part of the time
in one place and part Of the time in
the other. "-EXchange.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15


THE man who would have done so
and so If ne had been there, never
gets there.
SOME people never think it worth
while to try to get religion in the
hands and feet.
IT is the religion that shines at
home against which the devil fghUs
the hardest
THERE is no such thing as the Joy
Of the Lord in the heart in which
there is no faith.
A FOOL will build a house without
windows, and then blame God because
he has to live in the dark
PEOPLE who have "a good opiHion
of themselves will tell you that the
devil is not such bad fellow.
GIVE and it shall be given unto
you" is a promise that shows how
anxious God is to make US all rich.
THE man who repente on a sick led
from which he RECEIVERS, generally
backslides before he pays his doctors
hill
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
MANS FAIL.

Since the original fall of man we have
had some signal examples of great falls
not to include Niagara or the immense fall
in values which the times have brought
about--in the nature of accidents which way.
lay men at all times. One such is that Of
Mr.. George W. Lord, 0lanta, Pa, who says
he fell down stairs and suffered four weeks
with sprained back. The use of ST, Ja.
cobs Oil completely cured him. Mr.. q.
Roedey, 600 S. 18th ST., Omaha Neb,, relates
that he jumped from his engine in collision
aud sustained very bad sprain to his ankle
he had to use cane for weeks, but was final
ly cured by St. Jacobs Oil, Never fall Out
with 80 good thing.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
Better Than a Gold Mine.

Farmers wishing to raise their own coffee
at cent pound should send 20 cents to Q.
e. Cole, Buckner, Mo-, for large starting
package and free catalogue, telling all about
It and what portion OF 10000 farmers who
have tried il all over the Union think OF it.
Natures north or south in four months. FRO
duces often fifty bushels per acre. Mos
healthy and nutritious.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
Blooms Only When the Wind Blows.

BIoons Only Whom the Wind BIoWS'
A flower has been discovered in
South America which is only visible
when the wind blows. The shrub be-
longs to the cactus family and Is
about three feet high. The stem is
covered with dead, waterY looking
Jumps in calm weather; these Jumps,
however, need but a slight breeze to
make them unfold large flowers Of a
creamy white, which close and APP
pear dead as soon as the wind sub
sides New Orleans Picayune.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

DBoPsY is a dread disease, but ii has lost
its temors TO those who know that II, II.
Green g. Sons, the Dropsy Specialists Of At
lanta, Georgia, treat ii with such great sue
cess. Write them for pamphlets giving full
information.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

AS Simple yet Effective Remedy for
Throat Affections, Browns Bronchial
Troohes stand first in public favor. They
are absolutely unrivalled for the alienation
of all Throat irritations caused by Cold or
use of the voice.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
rhn NTndern Invalid

Has tastes incidentally, in keeping with 9th
er luxuries A remedy must be pleasantly
acceptable in form, purely wholesome IN
composition, truly beneficial in effect and
entirely free from every Objectionable Dual.
ity II really i'll he consults physician II
constipated he uses the gentle family laxa-
tive Syrup of Figs.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

The Worm Turns Publisher (testily) I:
can't see anything in that manuscript of
yours. Struggling Author (vindictively) J;
presume not; but you know some OF your
readers may be quite intelligent. New York
Waalyly
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

HonOrs Easy.-German Student; know
desc scars my face on look not pretty, but |
proud of them am. get them in duels'
American student: Huh Wait till you see
some of our football champions New
York WenklV
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
I'm out

THE fact that an ex-Congressman
has been indicted on charge Of hav-
ing helped wreck the Indianapolis
bank lends strength to the old say
ing, that when man once begins to
go to Congress only prayer aud con-
slant struggle will stay his progress
on the downward course.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
srArn OF Ono, Cry or ToLpDo, s..

)
LUCAS COUNTY.
FRANK j. CHENEY makes oath that he ID
the senior partner of the Arm of +, j CHE
NEY & Co., doing business in the City of To.
ledo, County and State aforesaid, and that
said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUN
DRIED DOLLARS for each and every case
of Catarrh that cannot be cured BY the use OF
HAIL's CATARRH CURE,
FRANK ]. CHENEY
Sworn to before me and subscribed In my
presence, this 9th day Of December, A. d.,
1886,
-, A. w. GLEASON,
SEAL Notary Public.
--N,--s
HALLS Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Send for testimonl'
ais, free. e,o ma n
20 Sold by Druggists, Zoe.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

Room at the Top.-Mcrchant Have you
had any experience in china warep Appli-
cant; Years of it, sir. "What do you do
when you break valuable piece" "Well--
er-I usually set it together again, and put
Il where some customer will knock II over"
HYou'll do. '-NeW York WeeklY.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

Blase. Which goes to prove, then, that
you didn't become engaged to any of those
girls during the Christmas vacation. Rah-
rah; No; but got the refusal of several.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

A NEW umbrella has a Matchbox
in the handle, but that will not pre-
vent its disappearance on rainy
day. What is needed is about half a
ton Of dynamite in the handle.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

THE evils Of malarial disorders, fever,
weakness, lassitude, debility and prostration
are avoided by taking Beecham's Pills.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
"HanBon's Magic Corn salvs1
Warranted TO cure or money refunded. ASK YOU
lrlggst for II, Price 10 cents.

$50, tho engagement Is broken" Yes"
''What was the reasonp at was a chse'of'
love at first sight. They're acquainted with
each other now"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

Elmore; Did you ever see a company OF
women perfectly silentp Deckeri Once.
Someone had asked which was the eldest.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
A. w. GLEASON,

Jack: declare il Miss Sears isn't getting
gray. Jess; No wonder, poor thingi she
has had so much trouble TO conceal her age
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

She (scornfully); Why, that Mr., Small
pay has asked me to marry him seven times.
He; Great Scott Most men are satisfied
with one time.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

He, Is II true that you are engaged to
Mr.. Barlow? She: don't know. The so
ciety papers haven't announced 1t YET
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

There are people who think their neigh.
bors houses need painting because they do
not wash their own windows.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

"Jimpsy, the slugger can put any man TO
Sleep" How" "Talking about the prize
fights he's poin' to win"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

COe'a Cough BalaRm
Is the oldest aud best II VIII break up 0d gulck'
err than anything else. Its always reliable. Try 10
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

THERE are few ants that can offer
Of their stores to the butterfly with.
out saying, II told you So"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

Mrs. Shopper; Why, all these toys are
old. Shopkeeper: Yes, madam; but then
you know most OF the bables are new.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

"What is your best reason for believing
that she'll marry himW "Her parents say
that she shant,n
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

NO MAN is pleasing God who does
not love his nelghbor as he does HIM
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

TIE grip is rowing up and down
seeking prey to devour. Beware OF it!
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

CHICKENS are a great deal like
some society leaders; they are not
dressed unless they have very little
on.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
GENESIS OF THE STEAM BOAT.
Ancient Craft That ForeshadUwed the
Modern Greyhounds of the Sea.

Ancient Craft That ForeshadUwed the
Modern Greyhounds of the Sea.
The first steamboat was built by
Dennis Papin, who navigat d it safely
down the tulda as long ago as 1907.
Unfortunately this pioneer craft was
destroyed by jealous sailors, and even
the very memory Of it was lost for
three-Quarters of q century In 1775
Perrier, another Frenchmal, build
an experimental steam VI ssel at Paris.
Eight years later, in 1888, Jouffroy
took UP the idea that had been
evolved by ,Papin and Perrier and
built steamboat which did good
service for some time on the Saone.
The first American to attempt to
apply steam to navigation was John
Fitch, a Connecticut mechanic who
made his initial experiments ia the
year l7S5 To what extent Fitch
was indebted to the three illustrious
French inventors named above we
are not informed, but that his models
were original there is not the least
doubt. In the first he employed a
a large pipe kettle for generating the
steam, the motive power being side
paddles working after the fashion of
oars on a common rowboat In the
second Fitch craft the same mode of
propulsion was adopted with the eX-
ception that the paddles were made
to initiate a revolving wheel and
were fixed to the stern-clearly fore.
shadowing the present sternwheeler.
This last mentioned boat was the
first American steam vessel that can
be pronounced a success. 1t made
its first trip to Burlington in July
1888. But after all, it was not until
after the opening of the present cent
ury that steam navigation started
into actual life. In 1907 Bohert Full
ton who every school child knows
was an American( in CONJUNCTION
with one Robert L. Livingston, built
the Clermont and established regu-
lar packet service between New York
and Albany.
The success Of this undertaking
was so satisfactory that four new
boats were built before the end of
1911, at least two OF them being de-
signed for service ia other rivers -
st. Louis r public
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

AS A MATTER or TACT it is no worse
for nice young man to associate in
public with a "fallen woman' than
for nice young women to keep the
company of libertines.
A HOUSEHOLD writer claims that
greasy dishes, pots and pans, can be
cleansed as we'll in cold water as in
warm water, If teasp2onful Of kero-
sene is added to a painful of water
MOTHERS teach the boys and girls
early how to take care Of their own
clothes. A great deal can be done in
the way of preserving clothes, and
keeping them nice, by taking proper
care Of them.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

PaceH--So you write your wiley
faithfully every day?
Binks- Yes.
Pacer-What's the first thing you
saYP
Binks-Pay to bearer etc. Town
Topics
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

"Do you notice how Miss English drops
her eyes when you speak to herr ,'No, but
notice how she drops her his" N
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

shilOh's Consumption Cure II
Is roA on guarantee. II cures Incplent ConsuIil,
ton. Il y the beat Cough Cure 6cta. 60ctA. aliA
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

KEEP you heart full of sunshine,
and God will soon give you face to
match It,
THERE is more help in an ounce OF
encouragement than there Is in a ton
OF advice.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
REAL ESTATE MOVING.
Mr.. o. w. Crawford's View OF
the Situation.
Houston, Texas, Rapidly Coming to
the Front-The Real Estate Market
AotlVe-No Boom, But Healthy
Conditions Prevall-A Good Oppor-
tunlty for Investors.
TGlobe Democratic


Mr.. 0. w. Crawford, secretary Of the Ma
tiona Real Estate association, in talking
over tho Cituation, said; II is interesting to
note the plants of the people. You see by
what small limits human vision is circum.
scrbed. When this term of financial de-
preston commenced, labored editorials APP
pearing in hundreds of newspapers, put q
tale of woe in the mouths of the whole poo
pie. 1t is startlfngly true that the masses
speak the words that the press gives them to
speak,
The country was suffering a relapse from
booming. The real estate men had pro-
NOTED the booms-those Pandora Boxes.
So said the press. Right here let me say
that real estate men, simon pure, are not
boomers. The boomers are the lawyers, the
doctors, the livery stable men, professors,
boarding house keepers and carpenters, who
unasked and unneeded, flood our ranks, and
like Jonah's gouTd, come up in a night.
They serve no apprenticeship without
knowing the multiplication table they
tackle the most abstruse problems in the
calculus of our business.
There has been no malignant real estate
fever in the United States for several years,
The last was in California, and that was al
most ancient history when these bad times
set in. The papers have since found in turn
several all-sufficient causes for full bank
vaults and empty factories The press said
free silver or silver that is not free. Tho
people took up the shout. The press now
exclaims, "Too much tariff or 100 little
tariff" Thank fortune they have stopped
talking about real estate booms.
There is only one place in the United
States that Il know where there is any marked
real estate activity That is at Houston,
Texas But it can not grow into boom,
for the agents told me when was there last
week that the purchases were small and so
per cent of them for cash. The clearing
house reports have advertised Houstons
business us out of all proportion to its pop
ulation. All railroads run about half fare,
round trip excursions once month to
Texas. The NEXT one starts the 18th of
February. They are all alive down there,
let me tell you. Everybody is helping to
advertise their fruit lands. The New Hutch
ms house sends free beautifully illustrated
book of several hundred pages, to every one
who writes for it.
l believe that the cash now boarded in
banks and which by the way don't belong
to the banks, but to the people, will be in
vested in real estate. The large subdivider5
in Chicago ten me an unusually large per-
centage of their sales are for cash,
A., -, 7,T,-,I, - r "'T,o, 70 q, ,,.. ,,,,,,o,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15

But there was CONSERVATION in che
schoOlroOm when the teacher showed
that he could do a thing or two
New York journal.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-02-15
When'the day was hot, and the sun rose
high,
Thotafy was melted and the we'll ran
,dpy
Unrewnrded Strategy.

Wednesday morning tine boys rolled
tine big SNOWFALL before the door, and
it took the teacher until moon to
shovel it away.