The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1894-03-08

Foreman Benson of the soft wood shop, was
cut out for an insurance agent. He has recent
ly actually persuaded MIR. Linblad and one or
two others to believe that they are liable to die
sometime. and through the influence of which
argument, he got them to take out life insurance
policies. He tackled us with the same argument
but we told him that we were like the gambler
''who did. not propose to play any game
which he had to die to beat
The neat and handy little est-pocket dictiOn-
aries which were ordered by quite a number of
the boys some time ago. arrived last Friday
morning and were distributed the same evening.
All who ordered them are more than pleased.
saying they would not part with them for any
thing. Messrs Laird 4 Lee, the genial and
generous publishers of these handy and valuable
little books, allowed us a most generous commits
sion our order which we took in dictionaries:
thus THE MIRROR has been enabled to present
free of cost. about sixty of these dictionaries to
those of our number who are serving long SEN
fences and had no means with which to purchase
them.
Catch-as-Catch-Can.
the census reports. complete State Directory
could be made into handy vest pocket edition
like to hear good liar talk. when he doesn't
insist on having me believe him. The ancient
Greeks were good liars in that way: they would
lie right along. with no pretensions of truth.
People are just beginning to find out what hOr
| rble liars they were.
Next to the liar l like the inquisitive friend
who wants to know all about you and your bust
ness. You don't have to tell him the truth, he
don't expect it. 1t is not necessary to answer
him at all unless you feel so inclined The only
people in the country who are paid to answer
questions are postmaSters. ticket agents and
witnesses for the state.
like to see man. when he is about to dine
throw himself all over the table; it shows that he
appreciates his opportunity, and it makes things
convenient for the waiter who is clawing around
| to find an unoccuped spot to place his dinner.
And when he has finished his dinner. if he will
only emit dyspeptic explosion that sounds like
the beat of a young calf. the person next to him
| will love him. 5. MILE.
| There was fellow once by the name of Ana
Mas who was required to sell his claim and turn
| the money over to relief fund. He made a
good sale. collected the money. "embezzled'
| part of it and turned over the balance. Peter
counted the money aud being an expert in real
estate deals. he discovered the shortage. Ana
| Mas swore that the returns were correct and was
buried that same afternoOn-heart failure. Mrs.
| Ananias also eXpired same date, same cause.
| An Original Judge.
! They told me at the first stopping place to in
qure for family named Bristol, and at five
o'clock in the afternoon | reached the hamlet
and soon discovered that MI Bristol was Jus
tice of the peace in and for the said county
He was Il man about fifty years of age, and,
though he could have raked in many fat fee by
encouraging his neighbors to 90 to law. he did
not believe in what he called 'fuSSing around y
We had an instance of it while sitting on the
porch after supper. A negro came up on the
run and very much excited and said:
Mars Bristol. can't stand dis yere no mo-!
want to get out warrant for Nose Henderson,
who dun knocked me down an walked all cher
me!'
Lets. see. Your name is Abraham Tibbs'
Yes, sab: Abraham Tibbs. the peacefulest
pusSen in all dis county,
And yo' want a warrant for assault and bat
! tery?''
/ Oats it, jedge. 1t was de biggest kind of
| sault an de worstest kind of battery
well, YOU go and tell Moses want to see him.
and yo' come back with him."
| Yes. sab. an if he won't come I'll dun break
| his old black neck. Doan't gin him less'n five
years in state prison, jedge. an if yo' kin dun
make it ten III send yo' five bushels of sweet
taterS.''
In about ten minutes Abraham returned in
company with Moses, and his honor queried of
| the latter:
Moses, how did this yere fuss begin:'
HE don called me a liar, ledge
Il denies it," protested Abraham Il wants "A
warrant"
| AN so do L."
"IO' won't git no warrants of this yere court
replied his honor, as he shaved off some tobacco
to fill his pipe. This yere court finds yO' both
guilty of the offense as charged. Abe. yO' know
them three acres OF co'ntield over by the wilder
JoneS?'
| Eyes sah.''
well, that's my con and needs hoein', and
the sentence of this court is that yO' hoe it and
do the work mighty well. Moses, yo' know my