davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
Naughty Maudie and the Sparrows

A Brockton society woman of true cul-
ture met her husband "a professional mani
at the door the other night as he re-
turned from business and with a serious
face proceeded to hold private consulta-
ton with him upon the all-important and
absorbing topic, their only child, a midget
of few summers. 1t was decided that
after dinner papa should interview the
little one and correct some faults of
speech which she had fallen into. He
heard that she had taken to using strong
words, but he didn't believe that. After
supper he lead his little daughter to the
library and standing her in front of him,
seriously said, looking her in the eyes:
"Maudie, l am sorry to say it, but they
tell me you use swear words. Is that SOP
Maudie, with her hands clasped be-
hind her and her round eyes fixed on her
father, said defantly:
mo, faint
But" persisted her father, "they say
rOu certainly do"
''Who says sop demanded Maudie.
ooh, a little birdie told me-" said her
father knowingly.
"Well," with very emphatic emphasis,
cit must have been one of those - spar
rows then. Boston Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
He Forgot His Bride.

A story is being told on a well-known
Louisville couple who went to Washing
ton on their bridal tour a few days ago,
which is causing 10 end of laughter. The
groom registered at a swell Washington
hotel like this: John Smith and wife -
He remained one day, and when he
stepped up and asked the amount of his
bill, the clerk said So
Eight dollarsr' Mr.. Smith exclaimed,
''why your rates are rather high, aren't
they?'
mo, / guess not; that's 81 a day"
But / have been here only one day
81 know it, but it is S." the clerk re-
piled.
How do you figure that?'' the newly
welded man asked, as he leaned over
the counter with a frown of perplexity
on his otherwise blissful features
well, there's yourself, one day, 81
and there's your wife, one day, 81; four
and four make eight"
Then the fellow slammed his fist down
on the register, while a crimson flush
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
Shakespeare's Birthplace.

Englishmen often very harshly criticise
Americans for alleged shortcomings But
it is hardly possible to conceive of such a
thing in this country as is referred to
by an English critic quoted in the New
York Tribune. ut is a pity" he says,
that the Americans are not allowed to
to the states. They would at least treat
it with the respect it deserves, which is
more than we do. A short time ago the
carved oak doors which were placed at
the north end of the church century be-
fore Shakespeare was born were tempo
rarily removed, WhereupOn a utilitarian
them. Those of the inhabitants who have
heard of Shakespeare are indignant. And
so what the purchaser bought at the
price of a pigsty he is willing to resell
at the price of historic relies.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
No Apology Needed.

Many years ago, in the Clay county
Qnd) court, while Judge Bowers was on
the bench and the court in session. some
thing was said in argument by Daniel w.
Voorhees,, which aroused the anger of
Solomon Claypool, who, when he secured
an opportunity, heaped the bitterest anath-
emas upon his antagonist. Attorney
Voorhees, Immediately sprang toward At
torney Claypool and struck him in the
face. They clinched, tore each other
clothes, tipped over chairs and tables.
Suddenly and simultaneously they came
to their sober senses, and looked up to the
bench They were somewhat astonished
to find the judge, with his back to them,
innocently engaged in reading a news
paper. They began to apologize, when
they were calmly interrupted by Judge
Bowers with the remark: 'Why, you
need make no apology, gentlemen. 1 saw
evidence of an oncoming difficulty and
considered it best to see no more. The
court had arisen. San Francisco Argo-
Qaut.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
"A Cooling Drink.

During the first very warm days of early
summer, the thirst is generally greater
than when one has grown accustomed to
the heat Resort to the pitcher of ice
water furnishes often only temporary re-
lief and, by frequent and excessive drink
ing from it, harm is sometimes done A
little lemon, squeezed into half glass of
water, will quench the thirst far better
than a whole glass of water without it.
Or if the water has been taken too freely,
the eating of slice of lemon generally
takes away the parched feeling from the
throat Pure, strained orange juice is
also healthful drink. All who content
themselves with freshly-drawn water
from cistern or well, without adding ice.
know how much more lasting is the sat
isfaction.- Horn.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
A NAME FOR EVERY BEE,

Wonderful Story Told to the GullibIe
City Boy by the Smart Country Boy.
The smart" city boy has countless
wonderful stories to tell to his country
cousin when he goes to the farm for a
part of the summer. The city may not be
a good place for him to stay in the warm
weather, but it is a good place to brag
about City Boy got caught, however.
when he had pumped Country Boy full
of yarns about marvellous things in the
metropolis.
well, I know" said Country Boy.
with an angelic look on his freckled face,
but my uncle over to Cross Roads beats
'em all. He's got twenty hives of bees
and he's got a name for every bee.''
City Boy jeered, but seeing a chance
to get big story to tell in the city, was
convinced.
Well" he said, ''tell me some of the
names. What does he call some of
them?'
Bees said Country Boy, his face as
eXpressionless as a freckled flour sack
lust bees. He calls 'em all bees. New
York Tribune
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
FRENCH ART OF TODAY.
Only the Genius OF the People Keeps it
from Hopeless Debasement

Only the Genius OF the People Keeps it
from Hopeless Debasement.
John G.. Van Dyke writes of the dis
play Of paintings at the Worlds fair
in the July number of the Century. At
ter declaring that perhaps the greatest
promise for the future is shown by
America and Scandinavia, Mr.. Van
Dyke says: For years all the art roads
have lead to Paris. 1t is today the CEN
ter of the art world, a model of taste,
skill and knowledge as we'll as a hotbed
of eccentricities, mannerisms, stilted af-
fectatiOns and small trickeries. 1t takes
III the world, takes credit for all it's vir-
tues and is saddled with all it's vices
1t is ruled by the quips and 'cranks of
what at times seems outrageous fortune;
1t is magnitied and belittled; it is over
praised and underpraised; it seems to be
rising to lofty heights at times, and then
again to be sinking into the mire 1t
is at once the best and the worst art
center in the world. a crucible where all
elements mix, all become alleged, and
yet all average up q respectable grade
of amalgam. That which keeps it frore
hopeless debasement is the art genius
of the French people. Has that art
genius ever yet reached it's apogee? Has
it filled it's mission, and voiced the finer
feeling of France as painting once did
in Italy and Spain? Did we accept
al
teriOn, we might think her day was
about finished, that her artists had said
all there was for them to say; but the
representation was inadequate
The French stand sponsor for all the
academic emptiness displayed there, for
all the studio recitation, all the exagger-
ated realism, all the tawdry sentiment,
and yet at heart they have little sym
pathy with them. The academic was
foisted upon them early in life by the
example of Italy and the misdirected
energy of royalty Poussin or Lebrun
was no more French in thought or meth
Cd than COrneille. The monarchy up
held the academic because it smacked of
heroism, and the empire because it fOs-
tered the military spirit, but the republic
has barely tolerated it, and the radicals
have always hated it. 1t is the bette noire
of French art against which there has
been long series of revolutions. Why
if not that it fails to represent the
French? They are fond enough of talk
ing about such loyalists as Poussin, Da-
vid, Ingres and Cabanel, but the men
they love are the rebels, Vatican, Fra
gonard, Delacroix, Millet, Corot, Courbet
The vivacious, the decorative, the emo
tiOnal, the sentimental, the positive-all
these they love because they are national
characteristics; but the mock-heroic, the
grandiloquent, the bombastic have been
more the result of foreign imitation than
the outcrop of French feeling.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
DISPERSED BY SAUERKRAUT.
The Peculiar Cause of All the ChiIdre
Quitting the Old Home.

The Peculiar Cause of All the Children
Quitting the Old Home.
They were talking about the desertion
of farms by the younger generations for
the alluring charms of the cities; how
young men and women left the home nest
in the country as soon as they felt any
confidence in themselves and focked to
the paved streets and brick walls of urban
life in the hope that work would not be
SO hard and money would come easier.
Our family furnishes case in point"
said a young German who has latterly
appeared in minor roles in Twenty-fourth
ward Democratic politics. We're all in
the city now except the old folks, who
stick to the farm, and are doing pretty
well. Our reasons for abandoning the
farm, however, were not those usually
given, and / doubt if parallel case can
be found"
With two brothers and three sisters,
says the Chicago Tribune, he lived on
farm 100 miles from Chicago, and they
all aided phlegmatic old father in oper-
ating the place. 1t was a fine piece of
land and the family was happy and pros
porous. But dark disaster came one day
in the shape of q cabbage crop. The Chi
cago market showed a strong demand for
sauerkraut, and the farmer decided to go
in for a profitable crop. With the three
boys he planted several acres in cabbage,
with excellent results. The crop was cut
of the finest sauerkraut made.
Communicating with friend in the gro
Gerry business on the north side the farm
er received an order for ten barrels. A
few days later the grocer announced that
the best he could offer was So cents a bar
rel, the top market price. The old man
couldn't stand such drop as that, so he
had the shipment returned, paying freight
charges both ways. Purchasing forty
fine young pigs, he began fattening
them on his high-grade sauerkraut. All
went well for few days. but the porkers
soon tired of the diet and began to run
from it. The pile grew high, and a few
of the stronger pigs jumped the fence
and ran away, while others sickened and
grew weak from starvation.
It was a puzzler to the old man, but he
was determined to derive some benefit,
and the boys logged the stuff up to the
orchard near the house, where it was
spread about as fertilizer. By this time
the entire family grew turbulent at the
mere mention of sauerkraut, and when
the sun poured its hot rays on the picked
cabbage the girls rebelled. The farmer
was obdurate, and the three girls packed
their effects and came to the city. The
kraut became so powerful that even the
old man could not stand it, and the boys
were instructed to cart it down to dis
tant field and spread it. The boys had
been on the verge of mutiny several
times and this settled it. They all ''lit
OUT for Chicago, and have been here
ever since. The girls are in service, and
once in a great while they al meet with
the lonely and disappointed old Teuton
on the farm. When it was all over the
Chicago sauerkraut market went boom
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
SOULS OF SECLUDED SPOTS.
Dim Temples Haunted by the Mystic
Spirit Which Outla SITS All Ages.


Spirit Which Outlasts All Ages.
Marion Crawford writing of the won
derful Italian coast between Sorrento and
Amalfi, in the July number Of the Cen
fury, says the genius loci of the ancients
is not altogether myth. A truer mysti-
cism than their mythology teaches US that
places retain for ages something of the
lives that have been lived in them, an
echo of the voices that have made them
musical, a fleeing shadow of the men
and women who found in them their hap
piness or their sorrow. Those who have
spent much time in secluded spots learn
to feel that lonely places have souls; and
the soul of a place is indeed its genius
loci, its familiar spirit, its peculiar es-
sence, as real a thing as the scent of a
rose or the smell of the sea. There are
rosegardens in the East that are fair
with the accumulated happiness of past
generations. There are shady ileX-grOves
in Italy wherein still dwells the silent
spirit of contemplation; perhaps the phan-
tasms of tragic loves sigh out their little
day beneath the ancient trees. In Italy,
in Greece, in Asia, in distant Indian
glens, dim temples stand to this day,
haunted or blest, perhaps by the presence
of that mystic spirit which OutlaSts all
ages. And the market-place has its
familiar genius also, the busy center of
the crowded city, the broad thoroughfare
of the great metropolis, silent for a few
hours under the summer moonlight or
the winter rain. Old castles too, deserted
villages, uninhabited homes Of dead pOpu-
lations- all have wraiths, the ghosts of
what they have been, silent to the many,
but more eloquent to the few than any
human speech can ever be. And besides
all these, there are spots where nature
has never been nodded by man, where she
is sovereign and he is subject-lonely
places by the sea, great sunlit silences
where man has not dared to dwell because
nature there would give him nothing, nor
was he able to take anything from her.
And the spirit of those places is more
lonely, and grander, and mighter, than
the genius loci of the market place, or of
the deserted Italian villa, "where the red
dog star cracks the speechless statues
or even of the shady cloister or of the
wind-swept temples of banished gods.
The song of songs is still unwritten,
though natures music makes mans
grandest symphonies ridiculous, and
sounds night and morning in the ears of
him who has ears to hear.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
HADN'T THE NERVE.

Young Ruffin's mother-in-law was sick,
Her health had struck a flaw,
And, with the kind concern that moved
The average Son-in-laW,
He Straightway to a settlement
On double-quick did chase,
And brought a doctor back with him
To diagnose the case.
With anxious mien he waited then
Until the doctor grave
Had seen the patient, and in turn
This honest verdict gave:
''She needs no medicine, young man;
There'll be no help for her
Unless you forthwith send her to
\ warmer climate, sir"
No word young Ruffin spoke, but to
The woodshed he made tracks,
And straightway coming back did bring
A newly sharpened axe.
This handing to the man who did
All human ailments serve,
''You do il. Doctor, dear" said he,
Il haven't got the nerve"
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
A Lovers Strategy.

That all is fair in love and war was
recently exempliied in the case Of an up.
town young man, who had had o falling
out with his best girl, all on account OF
another fair charmer.
Girl No. 1 heard Of the existence Of
Girl No. 2, and Immediately became as
cool toward the unfortunate young man
as one well can in this kind of weather.
The swain in question was most anxious
to be restored to the good graces of his
best girl, but all his advances met with
frigid reception. For several days he
was in despair, thoroughly convinced
that there was no balm in Gilead.
Finally he hit upon a brilliant scheme.
Inditing a letter to Girl No. 2, in which
he requested her to cease annoying him
with her unwelcome attentions, he placed
it in an envelope and carefully addressed
it to Girl No. 1. The next day he sent
her telegram saying that he had made
a mistake in placing two letters in their
envelopes, and that she had probably re-
ceived a letter not intended for her.
Would she please return it?
The scheme worked like a charm. The
foxy epistle was returned with a very
gracious note, and now everything IS
moving along smoothly once more
Philadelphia Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
MY IDEAL AND i.

We did not meet in glittering hall,
At birth ard beauty's court,
Nor yet at banquet, play or ball, =
The scenes of Fashions sport;
Nor anywhere among the throng
OF gilded Folly's slaves,
Whose queens make wealth the cloak OF
wrong,
Whose kings are secret knaves.
We did not meet among the flowers
All in a garden fair,
Where birds and bees beguile the hours
And love is in the air;
Where Nature dons her richest robe
To charm all eyes that see,
And groups the graces of the globe +,
In bowers of Already. ~
We did not meet in foreign climes, ~1ih
Meath cold or sunny skies, !
Mid Scottish hills or Spanish lines, "a
Or where sweet Como lies;
We did not meet in summer, spring,
In winter or in fall;
Ideals are aye evanishing-
We did not meet at all! Truth.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
The Real Demon of the Marsh

Is not a spook, but a reality. 1t is neither a
"bogie' nor a 'kelpie,' nor any other of those
spirits which the credulous have supposed to
haunt the banks of rivers and streams after
dusk Its name is malaria, and though invisi-
Bile, it is very terrible and tenacious when it
seizes you. Hosetter's Stomach Bitters drives ii
away, nor will it attack those whose systems are
fortified with the great medicinal defensive agent.
The miasmatic mists of early morning, the va
pors exhaled at eventide may be safely breathed
by those protected by the Bitters In the tropics
where every form of malarial disease threatens
the sojourner, and is particularly virulent
when developed, the Bitters is the best reliance
of the inhabitant. For dyspepsia, liver com
plant, lack of yigor. appetite and sleep; for
rheumatism and nervousness the Bitters are a
sure and safe remedy.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

HENRY A. SALzER, manager of the John
A. Salzer Seed Company, La Crosse, Wis,
is in Europe looking up rare novelties in
vegetables and new things in the farm seed
line. He will visit the celebrated farming
districts OF France, Germany, England
Belgium, Russia and Bohemia, and the
customers of this wide-awake firm CAM
congratulate themselves upon his bringing
along the cream of farm and vegetable
seeds that those foreign countries offer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
EXCELSIOR.

The morning sun clomb up the blue
AS morning suns are wont to do,
And in the little tube of glass
The mercury was seen to pass;
Excelsior.
The day wore on and on and on,
Each moment farther from the dawn,
And still that mercury in the glass
Insists upon it's right to pass;
Excelsior.
The sun has blistered all the blue
For miles around and then some too,
And nothing but q cold wave will
Prevent that mercury going still;
Excelsior.
Detroit Free Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

of blood suffused his cheeks. ''Well,
I'll swear" he cried, eff L didn't forget
all about her I'll eat my hat. Here,
take this $40, keep the change and say
nothing about it please"
But the clerk didn't keep the change,
SO didn't think there was any reason
why he shouldn't tell the story, which
he did, and thus it is told by a Louis
vile man, who returned today from
hington-I IOuiSyille Post
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
independence.

Young LADY, am tired of living on
my relatives and want to be independ
ent." Employment Agent might get
you place liz a store" THAT won't do
/ want to be Independent of everything
and everybody" ''Ah. | see I'll get
you a place as cook. New York Week
ly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

Don't tinker at your Catarrh with I'M
known medicines. It's risky and dangerous
You may drive it to the lungs Get the
Remedy that has cured Catarrh for years
and years = DR.. Sages Catarrh Remedy
The makers guarantee it to cure, or benefit,
in the worst cases
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
Halls Catarrh Cure
In constitutional cure. Price IS cents.

"A Boston clergyman said in his SER
mon on Sunday last: Summer firta ton
is viper" The discourse of the rever-
end doctor is said to have been a rattler.
Utica Observer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

In the permanent cure of Biliousness, Jaun-
dice, Constipation, Indigestion, Sour Stom-
ache, Dizziness, Sick or Bilious Headaches,
and every liver, stomach or bowel disorder,
they're guaranteed to give satisfaction, or
the money is returned.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

PAW" said Johnnie Jimkins re1ec-
lively, isn't it strange that you and me-
and NAV should have all met ?''-West
Union Gazette
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
CROSS-GRATNED.

sour, irritable, so that the
whole world seems wrong.
That's the way you feel
when your liver is mac
tive. You need Doctor
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets to
stimulate it and correct it,
and clear up your system
for you. You won't mind
the taking of them
they're SO small and SO
natural in their effects.
Ali that you notice with
them is the good that
they do.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

Mother 'Now, Johnnie, 1 don't want
to ever catch you in that jam closet
again" Johnnie (sobbing)--"An' I don't
want you to, nuther. '-Detroit Free
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
THE VATlCUM.

Soul! while in thy rebel body pent
Thou still art mastered by thy jailer
strong,
But when he fails, the author of thy
wrong,
Thou dost in turn control thy tenement.
And since thy glad release will soon be sent,
Though thou hast suffered harsh oppres-
sion long,
And pangs and passions still around thee
thrOng,
Now thou are conscious only of content.
Now, when Deaths shadow DER thy face is
spread
Thou dost not fear, for thou hast grown
in might;
Earth's food avails not thou would'st fain
be fed
With food celestial. Lo! his eyes grow
bright
When he had eaten of the Living Bread,
In whose blest strength he journeyed forth
to light.
Cecil P. Wilson in New York Sun.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

1t is said that Senator Wolcott ap-
proaches nearer to the ideal orator than
any man now in the United States Sen
ate.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

Il fall" said the boarder, frantically
saving at the steak, ito find weak
point in this Armour plate!"-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

First Boy-'I wish we lived in
South America" Second Boy-"Why do
your First BOy-'"The schools down
there always close every time the town
is bombarded. Good News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11
Educated for Business.

Look here" said the parent to the
school teacher, L see that one of the
lines in my boys copy-book is, Less
haste, more speed Yes; And
here's another that reads, The longest
way round is the shortest way home .
want those moldy proverbs festooned
around his intellect. I'm educating him
for businessmen the United States Sen
ate. ''-Washlngton Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

LOVELY WARMTH OF COLOR, with traces of
pink and white, is the exquisite complexion
which follows the use Of Glenns Sulphur
Soap.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

Stockholm has the highest death-rate
from drink of any city in the world, 90 in
1000.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

-Friend-'Let me congratulate you;
someone told me today your son would be
valedictorian of his class" Old Sport
whats that? There's no place of that
sort on the foot ball m."-Detroit
Free Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-07-11

Sun pictures We're brought to compar-
1889