Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1894-03-15
SAGE LEEVS.

Eddytid by j. BILLINGS SAGE, sukscsser few
Josh Billings, descest.
Leevs from mi diurry air kalled sage leevs
beckaws tina air good mcdysun fur the blews.
Sage Of Aberdeen Spends Another Day at
the Midw inter Fair.-Hc Discovers the
Famous Midway Plaisance: Mortified!
Mortified! Electrified!
Ureekay! + plureebu s, omneebus,
blunderbuss, ycwnum! WITCH bein freely
translated meens we gotr THAR. ga we,
mott cddytoarily, butt beekaws THAR wuz
tew Nv us. tew-wit: miselph and littul
kid wich ophered tew glide NEE awl thru
the sho fur hiz gait phair and 10 cent
lunch. Wen git in dounrite ernest tew
phind out the meandurins Nv SIGH vllaj
ez S. f. I alwais talk boy intew mi kon.
feedunce. Wot tina doan't kno about
streats, lanes, alleys and foax IL mott with
KNOWN. Mi man Frida wuz kalld James
Bukkanon Smith bi hiz parents, butt the
luther streat gamins kalled him Jim, 80 l
did the saim, fur short. shud hev staitid
bee4 that Jim wuz Aphrikan, hi buth,
and Demmykrat bi, profeshun, that
akounts fur hiz naim, awl but the Smith,
and THAR il no akountin fur the Smiths,
wife err blak,
We startid urly so ez tew hev phul
da. The fust thing we undertuk tew
find wuz that saim midwa plazongs. We
phound lit. The fust thing Jim wantid
tew Sc WIZ the Injuns, butt l sed, Injuns !!
l kin sc them evry da wen I'm in Abbur-
deem; let's sc sumthin nu. But lit wuz
Injuns er nuthin with Jim, SO we TUX in
a skalp dance, and a medysun mans pow
WOW, and then We struk fur sumth in
with seen. And that wuz the Furth
weel. Mi stars! wot weel it wuz! Wi,
Mr.. Eddytur, it il biggur'n mi grandofth-
er's overshot weel att hiz grissmil. lit IL
biggur'n the fiji wecl on Wethurwax's en-
jine, biggur'n the paddul-weel on the
Khan Macdonnel. 1t looks like ez il a
race koarse he'd been turnd up on aige,
and littul houses bilt awl along it's aige.
Foax ware gettin in bi waggun lodes, so
Jim and gott IN tew.
Jim sed he phelt awphul skeery, butt l
told him thare wuz nothin tew pheer ez
Sage NV Abburdeen wuz bord. I wuz
thinkin Nv that remark Nv the CRATE Ro-
man, "Pheer mott, yew karry Seezar."
Bime hi the weel begun tew turn and the
littul chicken hoops WITCH the foax he'd
gott intew begun tew turn awlso. "Golly"
sez Jim tew me, "wot air we goin tew do
wen lit gifts bottom side up?" Jim's
wurd wuz "golly." tide hard tew hev
him drop it, but bein darby and dem
mykrat tew it wuz hard tew turn him intew
mi paths. Wen we gott up hi ez a kom-
mum house, Jim wantid NEE tew STOPPER,
so'z he kood git out. told him ez hee
kood'nt phly lit wood be quite onsartin
thing ez few ltin salty unles he wuz sure
he kood maik lit in few jumps. lie turnd
pale wen we gott ez high ez a phlag poal,
and thot he wuz goin tew jump frum
the koop. Sez l, "Jim we've gott intew
the trap and kant git out, so we must
silk few it," "Golly massa, l wish lie
bak in ole Mizzippy, Oh-o-o-o." Wen we
gott over the summit and wuz beginnin
tew descend Jim begun tew git biz brett,
agin, and wen we struk the gitten out
phase he skipt out and TUX tew hiz heels
so kwik l koodn't stop him.
Hee nevur lookt bak. He wuz wizer
than Lofts wiphe. Hee pulld fur the
shoar and l nevur seen him agin that da.
Butt wen startid fur the phair grownd
the nekst mornin, l phound him waitin
fur NEE att the gait. "Golly! massa,"
sez he, "yew must skuze me fur levin
NV yer yesterda, kaz wuz skeert Almost
tew deth." "Awl rite," sez l in ga and
rolliky sort NV wa, "gess littul xersize
doan't genully hurt darby" "Now
boss" seq Jim tew me, "if yew'll promis
mott tew gift NEE inflow emmy skraips I'll
pilut We thru the hull bizniss." We maid
a kontract and went on seein the SITES
The nekst ! that we tackled wuz the
hantid swing, butt mi lettur il gittin SO
long I'll tell wot happund tew NEE and
Jim in the swing and att the art gallery
in mi nekst.
Augh revoyer,
j. BILLINGS SAGE.