davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-11-15
lows Your window ?

Does it need new shade All kinds at
rFzdcke's carpet store. 11.9-tf
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-11-15
Rupture.

Cure guaranteed. No operation. In
quire at the Shenandoah drug store, No.
South Main street. 9-19tf
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-11-15
Saving Fund
SHARES FOR SALE.

The Safe Deposit Building and Saving AssO-
citation of Reading, Pa, offers for sale few
hundred shares of stock. This is a good, eli2bls
and prosperous association in which to take
shares Having ready sale for all money, tins
premium received is large consequently the
stock win mature much sooner than associations
located in towns where there is no great demand
for money and building operations are very
limited The value of each share is S20o At
maturity. Application fee, 25 cents each share.
Monthly dues, one dollar per share. Five per
cent. interest allowed on all payments made in
advance for months or logger. Members may
withdraw one OF all shares at any time BY Civ
ing 30 days written notice, and are entitled to
the full amount of dues paid, with 8 per cent
interest after one year, thereby making IL an
IL per cent investment. All shareholders arc
entitled to loans from fund on real estate
security. No shares win be forced out.
The fund is run on the Same conservative
principles as our local funds which have beea
Tried for years and found safe. Any one wish
ing to invest in Saving Fund viii find it 30
their interest TO call ON the local agents and
receive full particulars Rev, II. A. KeyseT,
d. D., of Mahanoy City, is one of the directors.
MASTER & BACHMAN, Agents,
1877 North Jardin Street, Shenandoah.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-11-15

Buy Keystone -four. BE sure that the
name LEsslG & BAER, Ashland, Pa, is
printed on every sack. IF
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-11-15
SALE OF BONDS

DROPOSALt will be received by the Lehigh
il Valley Coal Company, Lost Greek, Pa., un.
til Saturday gath inst, for driving tunnel at
PscEer coliery No. from the top split OF the
Mammoth 10 the Holmes vein slope level. Di-
meusious: ~ feet high, above rail, 10 feet
wide, gutter feet wide b y inches deep, be-
low top Of sill Length, $50 feet more or less
For further information apply 10 Lehigh Val
ley Coal Company. ID, y. BROWN,
il-l4.lw District Supt, Lost Creek, Pa. p
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1894-11-15
9tXs0ELL.ANEoUS.

EOR REET.-A large new store-room, with
Il pGle gGss front, dwelling and cellar.
Excel eut bu' iuess location. Win be ready
Tor rent November list. Rent reasona lie.
A pply to q. W. NewhOuser, 40 North Main
ueet. l0-15-u
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
Not stonewall Jaokson,s Bible.
From the New York Post.

Raleigh, N. c., March PA number of
northern newspapers recently published
a sensational story TO the effect that one
Clay Whiteley, of Springfield, Ind. was
about to return to Mrs. Z. j. jackson, the
widow of "Stonewall" Jackson, COPY of
the Bible which he claimed to have
snatched from the burning library of
Gen. jackson IN Lexington, Va, in 1865.
when he, with others, was detailed to
burn the residence Mrs Jackson's home
is at Charlotte, n. c., where she has re-
sided for many years, and this week she
received from Mr.. Whiteley the Bible
which he said came into his possession as
above stated. The book did not resemble
any that she remembers having ever seen
in Gen Jackson's library 1t had no name
in it and no writing or other marks by
which she could identify it. Being salts
fed that 1t was never owned by Gen.
jackson or herself, she yesterday returned
it by express to Mr.. Whiteley.
In speaking of the matter, Mrs jackson
said: Il am sure I never saw the volume
before, and even if it was once the property
of the general it certainly was not
'snatched' from the burning library of
Gen. Jackson's house in Lexington, by Mr..
Whitley, nor any one else, for the simple
reason that our residence in that city was
never burned by federal troops or by any
other agency. 1 cannot imagine why any
one should concoct such a story.n
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
A coMMEpIAN's SAY.

If a joke could be taken seriously and if
a serious thing could be made Joke, and
by the way, certain class in New York
do take the majority of stage jokes in the
most serious and most cold blooded man
ner, the most astounding of all April
FOOLS jokes ever perpetrated would be
found, if on the morning of "All Fools
day. the public should stub its toe
against a hat-concealed brick and find
that under it lay prosperity, and that the
general depression that has pervaded the
country since last fall were but myth, a
fabric of air and a joker's delusion. This
joke I think, would not only overshadow
Joe Miller's historicisms, but would make
bowling mockery and caricature of the
chark marked coat, the paper stuffed
wallet, the dog with the can TO his tail,
but best of all it would put to blush the
croakers, the cockoos and the mugwump
wump frogs in the puddle who have been
piping their thin voices of disaster,
disease and distress.
JAMES T. POWERS.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
PRESENTED TO CARDINAL GLIB
BONS.
A Jewel Box Made From the Historic
Mulberry Tree at st. Mary's.
From the New York World

Baltimore, March 24-Gen. Bradley T.
Johnson to-day presented to Cardinal Glib
bons jewel box made from the weed of
the historic mulberry tree that formerly
stood at St. Mary's. 1t was under the
branches Of this tree that the first mass
in Maryland was celebrated, on March
25, 1884.
Tue box is inches long, 3 inches wide
and A. inches deep. 1t is lined with
cardinal-red satin. The hinges. lock and
key are of silver, and silver plate in
the shape of a Maryland cross is on the
lid. On the four arms of the cross are
the dates. March % 1884, the day of the
landing at St. Marys; May 81, 1919, when
the Act concerning religion" which
guaranteed religious liberation in Mary
land was passed; Aug. is, 1868, when
Cardinal Gibbons was Consecrated, and
July Z, 1856, when he was created a car
dinal.
The wood of which the box is made
was probably the last that was left of
the old tree blown down ten years ago
Gen. johnson is a commitment of the
Protestant Episcopal church. He saws
his gift is an expression of his respect
for Cardinal Gibbons and his apprecia-
ton of the cardinals sympathy with the
cause of the confederacy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
Experience with ,seedling Peaches.

experience Win seeding peaches.
I would like to have little talk with
Mr.. ~ F. Murray about seeding peach
trees and the peaches that they produce,
says a fruit grower in the Journal of Ag-
riculture. l would like to tell him our
experience in growing Seeding peach
trees. In the fall of 1867 we had about a
peck of peach seed from the state Of New
Jersey, represented to be of a superior
quality of peach. We prepared nice,
rich plat Of ground, blowing it up as deep
as it could be plowed, smoothed off and
laid out in rows about three feet apart
The rows were marked off very shallow.
We dropped the seed in the row about
one foot apart, the dropper Setting foot on
the peach seed as he walked along. That
was all the covering they got. The next
spring they all came up and grew-most
of them five or six feet tall The next
spring they were set out in young apple
orchard of two years growth, setting the
peach trees between the apple trees in
the rows and one tree in the diagonal
rows. All grew nicely, and were full of
peaches the next year, when they were 2
years old.
The ground had been and was for sew
eral years after, as long as was practical
Die, thoroughly cultivated, growing either
corn or potatoes between the trees. The
peach trees were cut back one-half when
they were put out and have been cut back
every other year ever since. Some of
them have been cut off close to the ground
and let put up new tree They are all
alive now and nice, thrifty looking trees,
and have been full Of nice peaches every
year when there were peaches anywhere
in the country; and we have gotten from
81 to 81 so above the market price for
them. Have sold our peaches to the same
parties every year, getting over 81 a
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
TO LESSEN THE DEVILS FOOLS.

am asked for sentiment concerning
the April Fools day and pause in the
whirl and rush of a righteous warfare to
say that in my opinion time is far too
valuable and important factor for a
moment to be lost in foolish testing or
senseless joking. The world, especially
in these days, is in far too critical and
dangerous a position, socially and relig-
iously, to allow of a man with average
sense-to say nothing of those who have
consecrated brains-to indulge in anv
other than profitable and upright inter
course.
1t is a personal relief to me to feel that
in our ranks LOO officers and 10000 IN
paid local workers will be pushing with
might and main of soul and enterprise
which upholds sincerity and the necces-
sity of lcssening the DEVILS fools
BALLINToN BOorH.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01

When a certain boy Of my acquaintance
on April /, Eefore breakfast. informs me
that somebody is waiting 10 see me in the
library, not for the world would / refuse
70 60 down stairs and pretend extreme
surprise at finding nobody there. Nor
would anything induce me to decline the
suspicious-loOking, cOttOn-hled piece Of
candy which is shortly after offered TO me
by a small girl know. ! bite into it and
splutter over IL regularly every year. and
Mr.. Nat Goodwin or Mr.. Francis Wilson
would be glad if they could raise such a
shout Of laughter as easily and unfail-
ingly.
Apropos of this train of thought there
is little picture of mine in Puck, pub
hshed some wears since, which will per-
haps bear transplanting here, and which
/ suDjoin.
EREpERICK BURR OPPER.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
MACHINERY, CASTINGS. ETC.

bushel more for them than other parties
got for their budded peaches, Just De,
cause they were nicer, better HaVoreu
and fully as large as the budded peache5i
and all of them have very small seeu'
thus making a peach with more meat.
There are six varities of them-three
free and three cling stones, yellow, WINE WINE
ever eaten any of these peaches have pro,
nounced them the incest favored peaches
they have ever eaten. I have had haru
work to make strangers, especially huLs,
erymen, believe they were seeuIus
peaches. We have but two budded peach
trees on the place, and the peaches rog On o.,
them before they are fully ripe. NOW NOW
can you tell me why they rots IheS
would be nice if they did not rot before Ii,,
ripening. They would ripen about July
l. The ground in our orchard Is n"H'
ured every year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01

If yer want good joke on some Of yer
fren s, give dem de razoO, see. OATS de
way dey do in New ork on April Fool s
day.
Yer work it dis way:
Suppose a man owes yer $40 and won't
pay you. Go see him and ask him for it.
He ses he amt got it, Wipe de floor wild
him and take all de- cash in his pockets
and when he kicks apologize and say yer
didn't mean fer TO hurt limits April
Fool seer Den yer needn't give him de
money back cause he owes it, yer seer
Course yer don't want ter try de razoo on
any one not under yer size, see2
Den yer kin pay off all yer old grudges
de same way Or if yer hungry and amt
got no money walk inter de restrint, see,
and eat all yer kin and say it's April
Fool, see, and run out widout payin'
notin'
OATS de racket fer April Fool-de
razoo. STEVE BRoDIE.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
A DINNER THAT WOULD BE NO JOKE.

April FOOLS day is a good thing. 1t
shows the fool killer where to hunt for
his game The fact that the fool killer is
not good shot is no reflection upon the
day. AS for my own experience with the
receptions practiced upon the innocent
upon April Fools day, 1 hardly think
they are OF sufficient Importance to war
rant my making them public. They diff
fer in no respect from those of every other
suburban resident who has to commute"
on the railways and buy tickets
for hreman's fancy dress Lalls. You
ask me to state what sort of an
April fool joke would play if I had to
play one. l wish it understood that
would not play one unless l were com
PEELED to by law, in which event l should
invite the man who framed the law to
dine and give him farcie olives treated
with Paris green, which 1 would have
him wash down with a wine glassful of
tobacco sauce under the impression that
he was drinking Chianti. In this way l
think could convince the world that 1
am in the truest sense of the word a phi
lantropist, for as poet of my acquaint-
ance has said
"Since first the serpent Eve cajooled
So that the world was curst,
OF all the fools that ever fooled
The April FOOLS the worst"
JOHN KENERICK BANGS.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
TO FOOL TWO FOOLS WITH ONE LICK.

TO FOOL TWO FOOLS WITH ONE LICK
] am asked to tell the joke l would play
If knew any one who could be fooled on
this first of April.
First, | would undertake to organize a
conspiracy to play an April Fool Joke on
some member of the Lambs Club. But I
would warn the Lambs Club men of
what was coming and thus the joke would
be on the conspirators. Now, l would
suggest an application of this idea to
all who may wish TO perpetrate an April
Fool joke. Go to some friend or other and
say you want to play joke on some third
party. Then, when you have decided
what the Joke is to be, warn that third
party. Thus you will fool two fools with
one trick.
This reminds me of a trick 1 played on
a lst-of-April on the late William j. Flor
ence. The comedian was in London at
the time. He and a party were dining at
a beautifully improyised table, when
sent in to him note in a disguised hand,
purpOrting to be from a woman who was
waiting outside to interview him The
temptation to Florence was great, and it
proved the funniest thing to see how rest
less he grew and finally made some lame
excuse to so out. When he returned |
said
Where have you been, Billy?"
90 not remember what he said. but l
recall distinctly that, simple as it may
seem, it was the funniest April Fool Joke
had enjoyed for a long time. Merrily
yours, MARSHALL p. WILDER.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01

Trom the AmerIean Reelster. Pnr

From the American Register, Paris
Johann Seyfried. the present hangman
of Vienna, is described as a man of versa
tile talents. He not only understands his
special profession thoroughly, but is at
the same time virtuoso on the either and
asinger Of more than ordinary quality
As a hunter and an athlete he has an en-
viable record and as if tins were not
enough, he has recently gone among the
authors, and has lately written the mem
oires Of his uncle. Heinrich Willenbacher,
and of his brother, Rudolf Seyfried- both
Of them men Of remarkable executive"
ability in their special profession. These
books he is considerate enough not to pub
lish, but to reserve for "his intimate
friends"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
NO TIME FOR JOKES.
AMEs T. Powers.

In the press of other important matters
I have not been able TO keep track Of a
good April Fool joke. But l cannot see
that Of we are TO tolerate April Fool
jokes at ALL there has been invented any
thing less Objectionable than the Jokes of
our boyhood. We used to call the atten-
ton of grown folks to purses and banker
chiefs they had not dropped also give
away pounds of candy, which when bit
ten into, proved to be sweetened cotton
batting. There was even boy who sewed
up his father in the bed clothes over
night. Grown people however, cannot
be concerned in such trihes. Indeed 1t
seems to me that the day is hardly worthy
of serious consideration and that the
practical people of to-day can spend their
time far more profitably than in devising
April Fool jokes
Just the same there is no accounting for
tastes. But it will be hardly worth ones
while to try fooling me this first of April.
A. II. HUMMELL.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01

Commenting on the alleged lack y vs
hospitality in England, Partisan Sa sn.
that Londoner, whom he had 0eeu bs
PERTAINING and lionizing, observed ~ an M
departed: Now, when you come W IL, e.
don be sure and call on me-don IoIsei II,
and I'll recommend you TO a good nO''N
It'd Bits,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01

''What is verse as distinguished ITO"
poetryl' asked the inquisitive man. ,..or
Verse;" replied the magazine cum. an,
after ne had pondered sis the term op
piled by any poet to the work OF his 0OA
temporaries. Washington Star
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01

She Knew.-oNow. Eva, this is noth,
ing to interest you; it's only a busln business
letter. Business? It's written across
the top and sides and there are three pVsE
scripts to it. It's from woman
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
A ROYAL oHANGELING.
T7his brought up AGAIN the h

This brought up again the historical
question of whether the duke had any
right to his title or to the name of Bour-
bon. Sir Bernard Burke. Ulster King of
Arms. the greatest genealogist of the day,
was of the opinion that he had not, be-
cause his grandfather, the King Louis
Phillips, was not of royal birth, but mere
ly changeling and son of a 1ailer named
Chiappini The story runs that in 1872 the
duke and duchess of Orleans, travelling
under the incog of Count and Countess de
Joinville, arrived at a small town near
Florence and took up their residence at
the chief inn. Twenty-four hours later
duchess gave birth to a female child.
There was great disappointment at the
sex and hence the exchange for the son of
the jailer Of the town, born on the same
night. This changelng grew up as Louis
Philippe, and during his vicissitudes be-
fore he reached the French throne he
taught school here in New York, and the
house where he lived for a time in one of
the New Jersey towns is still shown Now
the worthy scion of a royal house is re-
engaged to his cousin, the Princess Mar
guerite of Charities, the wedding being
arranged 10 come of soon.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
A CHAMPION For TILE DAY.

Before stating what Jokes seem to me
timely and enjoyable for this April FOOLS
day, l cannot resist the temptation TO say
that L think the spirit of the holiday itself
ha 5 always been singularly misunderstood.
The day is really to be deemed pause in
Times serious fight, when folly could
with propriety travesty wisdom and set
the world smiling. AS it is, the first of
April has come to be deemed a nuisance,
when its observance is not done away with
entirely, April FOOLS day is sadly in
need Of some one to champion it and re-
store it to its rightful place in the calen-
dar. 1t is not simply the day on which
the boys and girls may make fools Of their
elders with impunity. l suspect that
there was a time when it was regarded
rightly, far away as that time seems to US
now. Then the old people put aside their
serious looks and grew younger instead
Of older
If it takes a wise man to be a fool
surely April first is the feast day of the
sages, when they can act on Shalzespeare's
admonition ,'mtngle little folly with
your wisdom. "
AS for those jokes which seem to me
good and appropriate to the day it should
always be understood that the element of
surprise is the essential thing Novelty
is wit. Jokes must not be cruel pranks
otherwise the day would be given up to a
general haZlng or everybody. The most
successful of April Fool Jokes would be to
surprise ones friends by a change of
character. What rare joke it would be
for the confirmed miser to bestow a
dowry upon that niece OF his who needs
only little money to marry the lad of
her choice. If all the cranks would put
aside their hobbies for a day, what fun. it
would be for the rest of US.
This kind of Joke can be carried out ad
tinitum, ana would never fail to be sue
cessful. Let the tippler remain sober to-
day just as Joke. The skinhint EMPLOYER
can have lark with his clerk by grant
ing that increase of salary that has been
talked about so long. Let the clergyman
I say it acknowledgement a sermon
only an hour long to-day instead of one of
four hours duration. | am convinced
that the idea would meet with success.
People too old for jokes on April Fools
day Nonsense. Even the gray heads
can have their Joke The reprobate roue
can 20 to church this morning and ex-
plain that it is all a joke on his part
Many a man is ashamed to do a good
thing because it is so unusual with him
that it would give him unpleasant promi-
nence. But he can do it to-day and escape
with the admission that it is his April
Fool joke. am glad the day comes on
Sunday this year b. GILLIAN.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
SOMETIMES IT GIVES PLEASURE TO OTHERS

1t doesn't seem right that the first day
Of month so full of pretty things as
April is should be inseparably connected
in our minds with empty and dilapldated
pocketbooks with boy
attachments, disreputable hats with
bricks underneath them, long streamers
hanging from unsUspectng coat tails
door bells rung by invisible hands. and
all the other dear old pleasantries that
we know by heart And we should prob
ably have had a Society for the Proven
tion of April Fool Jokes long ago if it
were not for the pleasure that the chill
dren get out Of them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
Royalty is Fond of Mr.. Bennett.
Gable letter in the New York Sun.

NdUle Letter IN inc new I OIk sun,
A gentleman just returned to London
from the racing and other festivities at
Cannes calls my attention to a social fea-
ture of the royal gayeties in the past fort
night which will be Of especial interest to
Americans. One of the first acts of the
Prince of Wales on his arrival at the
Riviera was to make a personal call upon
a private citizen of the United States.
Two days later the prince invited him to
lunch, an invitation which the American
was unable to accept, because he himself
was that day entertaining ex-Empress
Eugene, Grand Duke Michel, and other
royal guests. 1t is a fact, well known in
all courts and salons on the continent
that nc untitled individual in all Europe
is so cordially welcomed in the most ex-
elusive circles of royalty and aristocracy
as this man. His name is James Gordon
Bennett.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-01
MELBA AND THE DUKE.
A Ghost Out of the Past of the Popu-
lar ougstress.
New York Letter in St. Louis Republic.

lar SOuRSLEGbS.
New York Letter in ST. Louis Republic.
Nine Melba, the bright, particular star
of the season at the Metropolitan opera
house, has become. in the past few weeks,
the most popular woman at the social
functions of note on Upper Fifth avenue,
and it has become a rule with society
leaders TO invite her to all the events of
Importance in their circle. Very little is
known of Nine. Melba, despite her pOpu-
larity, and this mystery concerning her
past has, if anything, added to her popu-
larity. The songstress made her first APP
pearance in New York in the
early SOS, under the man
agement of her father, David
Mitchell Mr.. Mitchell was an Austria
liam, who had accumulated large for
tune as a building contractor, but as a
theatrical manager he was not a success,
and his daughters debut was not as sue
cessful under his management as it might
have been. Miss Mitchell, now Nine.
Melba, which stage name she assumed in
honor of her native city, Melbourne, re-
turned to ustralia in 1852 and married a
young Englishman, Capt. Charles n.
Armstrong, who had resigned his COM
mission in the Prince of Wales regi-
ment in order to assume charge of a
sugar manufacturing enterprise in
Queensland. Most of his young wife's
large fortune went into the enterprise,
which eventually failed, sweeping away
everything.