The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-01-19
ToucH1Ne uPoN GOOD FoRM.

TOUCHING UPON GOOD FORM.
Some of the Restrictions That Cui-
tivated People Regard.
All well-meaning books of etiquette
to the. contrary notwithstanding, in
these days of self-poise which are open.
to us, good form has come to mean
much less, or shall say, rather, much
more, than in the days that are gone.
Good form is now understood as mean
ing the good manners that spring from
kind heart, and the writers of books
of etiquette are passing, as is many
another false note in our system OF
things Now, shall each individual be
a light unto himself in manners? rms
is sure to be the rule of the future,
when the hour now offers us in the way
of education, the education OF the
heart; and the coming man and Wo-
man, being the product of such educa-
ton, will be brought to think for them
selves, and there will be no wasting of
gray matter in the writing or reading
of books upon good form. But this is
for tomorrow. What of today?
! Here is a case in point: A man visi-
tor, man of high education and call
ing, kept waiting length of time for
his hostess, spent the tagging moments
in looking over her bowl of visitors,
cards, which action this hostess and
her many friends denounce as being
extremely ill-bred; and yet here is al
most a case for argument. A book of
American etiquette, published ten
years ago somewhere in Indiana, and
which same was compiled by one wo-
man and six men, with A. M. and A.
B. after their names. says, in chapter
devoted to calling: while waiting in
the parlor for the person on whom you
have called, do not thump on an open
piano, nor walk about the room ex-
amining pictures and other articles"
Had we gotten no further than that
in 1892 even in Indianai The average
New Yorker, 1 fancy, would not be apt
to "thump upon the piano." but why
should not one look at the pictures or
books, or at the cards that so often
OCCUPY a conspicuous place in the
drawing which have been ar
ranged, in the proverbial nine cases out
of ten, with method not far remote
from that employed by Becky Sharp?
If cards should not be looked at, why
is it not good form to put them out of
sight with other merely personal be-
longings?
And, again, for what reason do we
lspend sundry and goodly sums for rare
land beautiful works of art wherewith
to adorn our homes, if they are not tC
be seen of men? We may buy them
simply for our own enjoyment. But
what selfishness lies back of that mo-
tive-a selfishness that overtops the
Esprit of display Time was when tc
show the least bit of interest in or ad.
miration for the belongings or decora.
lions of a friends home bespoke ignor-
ance of good form, but that day has
gone by, together with the household
er's utter dependence upon the will OF
decorator and furnisher. Today is here
. with its reign of individuality, and we
may speak and admire with frankness
. such admiration usually implying g
; compliment to our hostess.
If, however, our acquired objects OF
: art are not to be looked upon by the
casual visitor, why not adopt the
Japanese custom of slowing away il
bags-beautiful old silken bags, VERT
able heirlooms, they use, for the Jap
anese are nothing if not consistent
our treasures, they to be brought fortl
and exhibited to the elect only amons
our visitors?
Let US welcome the simplicity tina
; reigns these days in the matter of care
usage; though, to be sure, care
it is used for so many different pur
, poses-the formal visit, the Occasional
note, the accompaniment to a gift. tn
+ note of introduction, a luncheon, or
tea, and in New York the card is uset
, in its most simple form for the omni
present tea. 1t is only in smalle
towns that departure is taken in thi
: mode of entertainment from the reg
5 ular visiting card, on which is writer
= the date and the hour for the tea.
2 have in mind some cards that | say
t in western town bearing the hostess
t name and address, with Five O'clocl
1 Tea" or Afternoon Tea" engraved il
the left hand corner, the date adde,
: with the pen. This is labor saving, t
2 be sure, when one entertains constant
D ly, but such innovations New Yorl
does not seem to have time to ADOPT
Custom here places the hostess at
tea in debt to those who have the good
2 ness TO attend her function, wherea
in other parts of the world this orde
OF things is reversed. Thus, while tn
2 New York hostess pay back an in
: debtedness, she is voluntarily takini
upon herself a renewal of the same
= This holds good, however, only wit
y the tea; the more important function
! OF dinner and ball place a hostess wei
with the social world in point of in
btedness.-Harper's Bazaar.