davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
HUMOROUS.

--"If you don't leave at once, shall
call the porter y Peddler-"very we'll
Perhaps he will buy something of me. y
-Fliegende Blatter.
-Nell-''Mr. Sillicus is only an apol.
ogy for man" Belle-"Well, wouldn't
you accept an apology if it was offer.
ed?7-Philadelphia Record.
--Wool-'sOne of these hunting belts
seems to be loaded with blank cart.
ridges" Van Pelt--"I forgot to tell
you; young Brown has asked to go with
ds."-Puck.
Cesar was a lucky man. He could
go around where he pleased and his
wife never asked any annoying ques.
tons. She was above suspicion.--Bos-
ton Transcript.
Noises of the Fall.-"What is that
swapping noise over there at the other
end of the hotel porch?" That's bevy
o. summer girls breaking their engage
ments. IN. Y. Sun.
TT seemed sort of strange at first, y
said Mr.. Bugleton, Ito hear my friend
Hustleby, the horseman, who was tell
ing about the terrible dream he had
last night, begin describing it as a
nightmare twenty hands high, but ]
suppose it was natural enough"
Next Sunday, brethren" said the
pastor, 81 shall preach on the subject,
What Your Neighbors are Saying
About YOU" 1t is recorded that Rev.
DIR. Goodman preached, the following
Sunday, to the largest audience that
ever assembled in the church, and hun.
dreds were turned away.
1.-THE Sins of the Father" etc
Tommy (studying his lesson)-''I say
pa, where does the Merrimac rise, and
into what sea does it empty?v Pal
don't know, my son." Tommy ou
don't know? And tomorrow the teach.
err will lick me on account of your ig
norance. Harlem Life.
"A little Buffalo girl was not feeling
we'll, and her parent suggested she
might be about to have chicken-pox
then prevalent. She went to bed
laughing at the idea, but early mex,
morning she went into her parents
room, looking very serious, and said
"Yes. 1t is chicken-pox, papa: I found
feather in the bed"
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

other pills. Hence, their great popularity
with sufferers from habitual constipation,
piles and their attendant discomfort and
manifold arrangements. The Pellets +"
are purely vegetable and perfectly harmless
in any condition of the system. No care Is
required while using them: they do not
interfere with the diet, habits or occupa-
ton, and produce no pain, gripping or shock
to the system They act in q mild. easy and
Natural way and there is no reaction after.
ward. Their help Idsfs.
The Pellets cure biIiousness, sick and
bilious headache, dizziness, costiveness, or
constipation, sour stomach, loss of appetite,
coated tongue, indigestion, or dyspepsia,
windy belchings, heartburn, pain and
distress after eating, and kindred derange-
ments of the liver, stomach and bowels.
In proof of their superior excellence, 1t can
be truthfu1ly said, that they are always
adopted as household remedy after the
frsf trial. Put up in sealed, glass vials.
therefore always fresh and reliable. One
little Pellet " is laxative. two are mildly
cathartic. As dinner pill, = to promote
digestion, OF to relieve distress from over
eating, take one after dinner. They are
tiny. sugar-coated 9Tanules; any child viii
readily take them
Accept no substitute that may be recon-
usended to be 9 Just Is good. It may Be
bkfkf,.f for ne dealer. because Of paying him
better pfo6t hHf kf II pot ~ ore Nh9
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
/. KNEW ABOUT THE BEANS.

It Was Not Natural That They should
Jump, the CoIntryman Said.
"'Taint ez how the blamed Things
Amt tew be explained: faint that; it's
jest how tew explain 'em ez gets me, y
he said. as he stood before the pharma-
cy window in lower Broadway watch
Ing d number of jumping beans move
about sheet of white paper.
He was tall, rawboned man OF
probably fifty years of age, and his
well-tanned skin and general awk-
wardness suggested greater famili-
arity with the burrows of plowed
field than with the pavements of the
metropolis. Hundreds OF people came
and went after satisfying their Curl
osity, but no amount of pushing and
jostling seemed to disturb him.
You amt from the country, be your
he suddenly asked me.
NO" said l, rather nettled at a
question that seemed to imply some
thing hayseedy in my looks
II thought not" he said confiden-
TALLY.
'But I'm familiar with it," quickly
answered.
''You think you air, but you amt"
was about to enter n protest, but
he quickly continued, with pitying
smile:
mo use tew get riled about it; we
can't all be smart. Now / do come
from the country, and I'm cock sure
that them beans never growed that
way"
II didn't for moment suppose that
they did," answered, rather holly.
"Then what air they all stickin' 'em
in that window fer without label;
tell me that? Have you stopped to con.
slider what field of them air beans
would look like jumpin' about like
that? Air you aware that in place OF
harvestin' you'd have to trap 'em jest
like rabbits? Then jest think of the
trouble in roastin' 'em; why, you'd
have to put a tack into every mothers
son af 'em to keep 'em in the dish.
tell you it amt natural. There's some.
thin wrong about the hull thing, an
I'm goin' to find out Jest what it is.
I'll take two of them air beans home
with me, an when come to York agin
you'll hear somethin' about jumpin'
beans that'll open yer eyes. Shuclssl
talk about imposin' on country people
Why, you smart city folks can be trip.
ped up every time" And he lounged
into the store to invest his quarter in
.wo beans. Y. Herald.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
PERSONAL AND LlrERARy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson's SON, Ed
ward Waldo Emerson, is giving lectures
in England on his fathers corresponds
ence with John Sterling and on the
story of Thoreau's life.
Alfred Calderon, the well-known
Spanish writer, has joined the move
ment against bull-fghts, and has writ
ten some vigorous articles against that
brutal sport. The agitation has A.
simed considerable dimensions, espe-
cially in Madrid.
james Russell Lowell. in his later
years; so current story of him runs,
sent an article he had prepared with
much care and study to the Atlantic
Monthly over the signature of an UNI
known person. It was declined with
many thanks Lowell then sent it
over his own name to another editor,
who gratefully accepted it.
There are eight women colonels in
Germany, all of whom draw their pay
regularly-namely. the empress OF Ger.
many, the dowager empress, the Prin-
cess Frederick Charles of Prussia, the
Queen Regent Sophia, Queen Wilhel-
nina of the Netherlands, the duchess
of Connaught. the duchess of Edin-
burgh and Queen Victoria.
"A Chicago man in Lexington, soon
after Garfield's death, was talking of
the bungling of the surgeons, when one
of the Kentuckians present remon-
strated against the terrible treatment
and its results. well, Kentucky
surgeon would have done no better"
said the Chicagoan. "You are right,
sah.' replied the other; Kentucky
surgeons know nothing about treating
wounds in the back. sah."
Georges Ohnet was once travelling
in railway carriage with a gentleman
of pronounced Semitic features. The
conversation turned on the persistent
attacks of Drumont on the Jews in the
Libre Parole, and Ohnet, who is hump
backed, expressed disgust at them. His
vis-a-vis looked at him for a moment,
and then said: "Now, it's very strange
you should sympathize. I myself dis
approve of those attacks for some rea-
son." .'And / have bumped back, !"
said Ohnet, with smile.
SO far as known, the first book ever
written in English was poem-''a
Paraphrase." as it is called--of the cre-
alton, the war in Heaven and of the
fall of Satan, about the year 657. The
author was Caedmon, a convert from
paganism to Christianity. After the
Norman conquest there seems to have
been no books written in English until
the reign of King John, which began in
1899. During this reign Layamon, q
priest of Worcestershire, wrote re-
markable poem of ss,25O lines, called
.Brut."
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

souls grew great, until at last the angel
of hope forsook them and the bright
vision of the patriots dream was dis
PEELED, and at Appomattox ended the
awful struggle that bankrupted the
Southern States and put the half of
America in mourning and there was en-
tombed our storm-cradled nations dust
And though the nation is dead these
many years. yet viii its memory forever
live. AS Israel in captivity remembered
Zion, 80 will the Southern hearts cherish
a fond remembrance of the Lost Cause
as long as the struggle shall live in
story and song.
Henry WINTER HARPER. .
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
HOW THE DUST FLIES.
Patient Observation on the Limit of Sight
Under Varying Conditions.

Patient Observation on the Limit of Sight
Under Varying Conditions.
The other day Mr.. Aitken laid be-
fore the Royal Society of Edinburgh
the results of $1,000 observations of the
density of dust particles made in differ
ent parts of the world during the last
few years. This is monument of pa
tent observation, unfortunately made
in his search for health. 1t must be
kept in mind that the greater number
of dust particles found in the air the
greater is the condensation of the
vapor and the thicker is the atmos-
phere. The limit of visibility through
the haze is thus determined.
Mountains are fixed upon which
are at known distances from the
observer, say 20, so and 20 miles. II
the nearest mountain is just visible the
limit is 20, if half visible the limit is 40,
if the third part only of the farthest
mountain is visible the limit of visi-
bility is 30, and so on.
The observations were made.at Kin
gairloch and Afford, in Scotland, and
at Rigi Kuhn, in Switzerland. If these
were absolutely accurate, both as to
the counting of the dust particles and
the determination of the limit of visi-
bility through the haze, then the pro-
duct of the number of particles in a
cubic inch, multiplied by the number
representing the limit, should be a con-
slant. The nearer the perfect ae-
curacy, the nearer is the con-
slant dust determined to the av-
erage of the constant. For example.
at Kingairloch, when the air was very
dry humidity from degrees to 10 de-
grees), the number of dust particles per
cubic inch was 1850, when the limit
of visibility was 100; therefore the con-
slant (the product of these numbers) is
2,36s, 900.
Now, the average for several hun
dreds of observations, when the limit
of visibility varied from IL to $50, was
$3.50, 048, which shows the closeness of
the observations. Again, at Afford.
with the same humidity, the mean of
hundreds of observations brought out
1885, as the constant; and at Rigi
Kuhn the constant was 9S7.s16, a re-
markably close figure indeed. This re-
markable result is sufficient test of the
accuracy of Mr.. Athens observations
in counting particles and in determin-
ing distances. -Gentleman's Magazine.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
IN AND ABOUND ENGLAND.

The announcement was lately made
by the paymaster general Of the SUI
preme court of England that the total
amount of dormant funds lying In chan
Gerry is S. 900. 600
THE Fastnct lighthouse, the spot on
the Irish coast best known to Ameri-
cans, Is said to be in q dangerous con-
dition, as the iron fastenings OF the
tower have become corroded.
AS MOST Of the court ladies OF Europe
smoke cigarettes. some of the crowned
women have elegant boxes OF silver
with ash trays of gold, as two OF the
ornaments of their bcudoirs.
WINDOW gazing" Is a profession In
London. A couple Of stylishly dressed
ladies pause before the window OF .
merchant, remain about 1--WE minutes
and audibly praise the goods displayed
inside. Then they pass on to another
store on their long list Of patrons
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
GOVERNMENT RAILROADS.

SOUTH AUSTRIA owns her own rail-
way system.
The little country Of Hesse owns two
hundred and twenty-six miles OF rail-
road.
THE government Of Portugal owns
about half the railroads In that
country.
The Netherlands own nearly one
thousand miles of railroads, all In the
best of condition.
A LARGE per cent. Of the railways Of
Italy are owned by the government
and leased to corporations
Victoria, Australia, owns all tho
railroads in the colony. two thousand
three hundred and forty-one miles.
The British colony Of New South
Wales owns two thousand one hun
dred and eighty-two miles Of railway,
and New Zealand in 1892 owned six
hundred and seventy-two miles.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

There is an English custom that has
been imported into this country with
pleasing results, and perhaps has been
handed down from mother to daughter
among an English descended family.
That is the habit of washing the fine
china at the mistress hands. A little
cedar tub is brought into the dining
room. after the meal, or, in some cases,
large bowl is set aside for this pur-
pose alone. The lady of the house dips
the cups and saucers into the hot water
with her own dainty fingers. Her lit.
tie daughter has been taught to care
fully dry them. Those who know the
dubious delight OF owning fine table.
ware, and sending it into the kitchen
to be Clipped and married. will appre-
ciate this alternative Philadelphia
Press.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
ASSIST NATURE

a ulLic now anu tucu
in removing offend
ing matter from the
stomach and bowels
and you thereby
avoid a multitude
of distressing de-
rangements and dis
eases, and will have
less frequent need
of your doctors
service.
OF all know
agents for this pur-
pose, DR.. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets are
the best. Once
used, they are al.
ways in fa v0r.
Their secondary ef-
feet is to keep the
bowels open and
regular, not to fur
Their constipate, as
se tia ~oaA 18th
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

The Confederate Women's Monument
association has been organized at Rich
mond, and charter is to be obtained.
Voluntary subscriptions toward the
monument now amount to six hundred
dollars.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

FoGG-"Poverty is misfortune, not .
crimen Figg-"f don't know about that;
at any rate poverty has been the cause Of
much poetry writing" Fogg-ssYou mean
the writing Of poetry has been the cause Of
much poverty. boston Transcript.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

BECAUSE man is industrious ia no reason
why we should choose him Tor an associate
Much as we admire the industry OF bee We
do not care to cultivate his acquaintance
Young Mems Era.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

A NAN who used to keep cigar store re-
Gently went into the butter business He
staggered his first customer by asking II he
would have it medium, mild or strong.
Credit Lost.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

The Oldest System OF TelegrAphy
Is that established between the brain and
the nerves, which transmit instautaneously
to the great organ of sensation and thought
every shock they experience. These electric
shocks are very vivid, painful and disturb
ing when the nerves are weak. Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters strengthens, soothee and
renders the nerves tranquil. 1t induces
sleep, sound digestion and appetite, and con,
kidney trouble.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

THE combined apple product of the
six New England states IL about H.
900, 900 bushels per year.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

Tippie- You say you don't love Stevea
Sibyl- No.
And yet you're going to marry
him?r
Yes
Then what are you going to marry
him for. If you don't love him.
because if don't I'm afraid will .
brooklyn Life.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

ssDocroR, "said Mrs. Weeds, 'Tcan't get it
out of my head that possibly my poor dear
sported DR.. Peduncle. didn't attend him
myself in his last illnessa''-Life.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

Mr.. TRorrER-sI told you that Cholly's at
tentions to Emily Brown would never
amount to anything" Mrs. Trotter-ssWell
you were wrong again; they frightened Dick
Faster into proposing at last, and Emily has
accepted him. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

The once famous court violinist,
Enrico Mast, died In Rome q few days
ago. He was at one time member of
the well-known " Florentine Quartette."
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

DoN'r Neglect Cough. Take Some Hale's
Honey Of Horehound and Tar snse0MteT:
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in ono minute.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

FIaa-ssDid understand you TO say that
Impecune was meeting his bills nowadaysl'
Fogg-"Yep; ON every corner. Pittsburgh
Chronicle Telegraph.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

ssCuoLLY seems changed since his trip
away, doesn't hep Frances-sIndeed he
does-seems like another girl almost. ~
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

''Why can't there be q fight without the
shedding of bloodss asks an opponent of
war. If he will ask any prominent pugilist
he will find out exactly how the thing can
be dOne-N Y. Tribune.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

"THIs,r said the bachelor a. he paid Tor
sewing on a button, ''is what Is meant by .
single tax.''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

JIIIsoN saws the girl whose adorer tells her
he loves every hair in her head win be fooled
if she thinks he won't kick like bay steer
il he should happen to find any OF them In
the biscuit after hey are married. -Bunalo
Courier.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08
ON HISTORIC GROUND.
The Ever Memorable Battlefield of
Shiloh.

Whore Gen. Johnston Feli-His Death Lost
the Battle to the Southern Army-A
Cedar Tree Marks the Spot Where
Johnston Died-No Marble SHAFT
Over the Confederate Dead.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price &c.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

'sNow know why the milk we get here
the farmer with whom he was boarding;
II Just this minute saw you give those cows
water to drink. n-Ph Philadelphia Record.
From Legal Document His only fault
Is that hehas no money; butt must be added
in extenuation that he never had ANY,
Fliegende Blaetter.
No AMOUNT Of cultivation can make this
tie bear fruit.-Ram's Horn.
The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1894-12-08

and of the mothers that mourned for
their sons and refused to be comforted
because they were not.
thought of the nation that persisted
that our fathers defended, of the flag
that we loved, and the blood that was
shed for its glory.
As looked upon the graves of the
Southern dead and then upon those Of
the North, though of the contrast be-
tween the victor and the vanquished.
The bones of the Northern dead have
long ago been gathered up and buried
in the nations beautiful cemetery.
Their graves are marked with slabs of
marble, and over them floats their
country's flag. but the forgotten dead
Of the Lost Cause still sleep in unknown
graves on the battle field. They have
no government to honor their memories
and mark their last resting places, for
the nation on whose altar they died
lives only in history and in the hearts
Of those who fought beneath her sacred
banner. But history shall be their
monument. and in future ages, when
marble shall have crumbled to dust,
men will read their records, admire
their gallant deeds, and applaud their
heroic death.
Shiloh was : hard fought field. but
history tells Of many battles more fatal
that followed; and how the Southern
soldiers fought from State to State and
field 70 fleld, in the valleys and on the
mountain taps within the cloud; and
how y their nunhers grey small their
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1894-03-19

6aus Scr 2orbs bielt ia, ct 9ebt nocb peiz
Ter u1b ia9t often, baB baiielbe nit ieiner
INNER rudi6ritt[tcber perbenben 6aItung
cine v9~lnoulalte" (eine 9fege[pi6rigfeiD
neben Dem bemofratti6en l1nterbauie 1ei.
Nu9 ertlart ct it6 bereit, jeoes nit bet
8erfaiiun9 bertragltbe Wittel aur 9ebung
Oieies 8iberlprudeS gu unteritiiben.
Gbenio beutli9 unb nO6 beutli6er
ipra6 Der S6abfan5ler 6arcourt, irbcm ct
@labitone'S neueite Gebe 9ese1 bas Oberz
baus ais etn Germd9tniB fir bic ltberale
8artet unb Die Trage BON ber lmgeItaLs
tun9 6es OberbauieS als bic 9r0Bte Srage
Der 3ufunft be3ei6nete.
@erabe ba6urb, 6aB &oieberb ielbft Elm
MttglieO bes Oberbauies lit, beiien @eforz
mirung ct anitrebt, tpirb Der &f nm 10
interelianter tperben, lln6 tn1 l1nterbauie
feblt eS, ob9Iet6 bort &oieberp Die Sa9e
ietner &egierung ntbt perIOnli9 p~ertritt,
t~eineStpegS an sepaItigen &Gmpen berlelz
ben. Sa, @labftone ielb1t lit mod Inter-
bausmttgLteb. l1nb BON Der 16meren &e>
~gierungSlait bcfreit, fann ct ia ben INNER
nod 9roBartt9en 9teit ieiner &raft I'M 10
u~ngeibpd6ter benz fOrti6rittliden 4arla7
mentariSmus tpeiben, belien unibertroffez
ner @roBmeilter ct lit.
Illinois Staats-zeitung., 1894-03-19
ste gbteaeoer @ebmrtsHatiHif.

Ser bonn GountOclerf ber0ffatli6te 8ez
ribt iber Die .3abI ber in @bicagO I'M Sabre
1893 ftattge6abten @eburten piroc ben
8epeis ~liefern, baB @6ica9o obne 3u3ng
auf BEN QuSiterbe1Gta 9eieBt iet. 9enn
bana9 bitten fte muir 24,8O6 betragen,
md6renb nab benz 8eribte 0es @eiuno7
beitsamtes Die SterbIt9tett bes Sabres 1893
in GbicagO iid auf 27,059 belief. IS
pirben mtt6tn 2253 Berionen me9r 9e7
itorben ais geboren ietn. offerings tpdre
es BEL Der 9roBen !3abI unoer6etratbeter
2eute in Chicago unb bel benz itarfen 3u3u9
bon 2euten, tpelAe iiber bas seugenoe Otter
binauS itnb, i9on m09lib, baB Die 3abl
Der @eburten unb Sterbefdne 1t9 oedte,
baB ~eritere aber 10 nett binter Iebterer 3u=
riifbletben %ioIten, lit angeii6ts Der sablz
reiben gta9tOmmenibaft zines Gbeils Der
eingepanOerten @lemente ni9t gut BENT
bar. Gielmebr 1T Der llnteri1ieb pobl
barin gu i16en, baB tpd6reno bic Sterblteb7
feitsStffer auf aiemli6e @enauigfett Qn7
ipru9 madden bari, neil gfiemanO o5ne