Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-10-25
PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS.


Eff de kentry wus all one PATTY from
rim ter scrim, it nd be er case oh tie up.
De people must er bin satisfied wiz
Cleveland de fustest time ur dey
wouldn't er lected him de seckind.
Perlitercal politics amt got nothin'
ter do wiz de size OBJ de craps or de
price oh wheat.
De grass grows in de field. de Sleeps
eats it an dey wool grows. All de
farmer has ter do is ter cut it Off Eff
he KANT do that as cheap as dey kin
in de ole kentry he oughter quit de
sheep bizness.
Dis yer ting Oh shettin' down fac
tries fer perlitercal purposes is lake
er man ,er chopin his foot off ter
spite er pinchin' shoe.
Eph Houston. the Chief Eagle, as
stated heretofore in the Republic, was
one of the distinguished politicians
who occupied seats on the platform at
the recent Mckinley lecture along
with Chauncey 1. Filley. Charles
Schweickardt, Hon. Nathan Frank,
Messrs- Niedringhaus and other shin
ing lights of the republican party.
The chief eagle arrived in time to
hear the beginning of the speech and
remained to the end, paying close at
tention to everything that fell from
the lips of the great apostle of protec-
ton.
''Ah KANT say as All heered any
thing new" said the Chief Eagle to a
Republic reporter, lease Aid dun read
de same speech erfore. Mckinley was
er variatin' hisself froo de kentry. an
den it wus de same arguments as
wus variated in durin' de las
campaign Maybe Mr.. Mckinley has
studied de tariff mo- dan me, but All
has studied it er heap, an All don't
know as All kin co'cide wiz him err
zac'ly on all his reducements. TEX
wool fur er instance. Whuffer does de
farmer want purtection on wool?
Whars de labor come in? De grass
grows NV itself here same as it do in
Europe. De sheep eats de grass, in
all de farmer has ter do is ter grab
Br'er sheep, tex de shears, an snip de
wool. Eff he KANT do that ter compe-
tition wiz any kentry anywhar, he'd
better quit de sheep raisin' bizness,
an go ter raisin' hogs. Abs fur free
wool, an cheap clo'es; de cheaper de
better. All understan' Mr.. Filley
| agrees wiz me on dat
"Mr. Mckinley variated er heap
bout de wheat bein' so an so much er
bushel, instead ov bein' so an SO much
party fur it. Abs studied on dis yer
pint, an All members when de wheat
an de con wus 80 plenty, under er
publican government dat de farmers
up in de northwest kentry coulden git
ernuff fur it ter pay fur haulin' in ter
de market, an dey burnt de corn for
fuel. All knows ter as de price OBJ cot
ton goes by de size OBJ de crap an de
de man an polertecs hasn't got er
thing ter do wiz it.
''Ah reads in de papers how desc yer
spectators boostes de price Oh hog
meat an lard. no matter which panty
is er holm Washington down, an Abs
got sense ernuff ter know dat if de
crap is bigger dan de call fur it, de
price goes down, an eff dey amt more n
ernuf con and wheat an hog meat
ter go round de price goes up. All
dunno whether deg wus 'publicans an
dimmercrats in Bible times All
bIeeve de book do tell erbout dey bein'
'publicans-but All has heered when
dey wus er famine in Egypt dat Joseph,
who he'd de con, wukkei his brethren
fur all dey wus wuff erfo' he'd turn ic
loose.
MIR. Mckinley talked err mighty
heap erbout de people bein' dissatisfied
befo' Cleveland was 'lected de tastes
time, an narratin' dat dat was de rea
son oh dey er switchin' ter de DINNER
Gratis. Well, dey was dissatisfied. but
dey mus ha bin err reason fur dey on
satisfaction. De people gifts tired OBJ
one thing all de time, dess same as er
man KANT eat feesh er quail, sr even
chicken er wattermillyun all de yer
erroun! Eff de kentry was all publican
from rim ter scrim, it nd be er tieup.
Eff one pahty stays in de power all de
time, dey thinks dey owns de hull ken
try. De longer it stays in de power,
de wusser it gifts. Dat wus de matter
wiz de publican party. dey had hilt on
too purlongin! De people wanted er
change. an when yer comes down ter
de bed scratch, de people is boun' ter
git what dey wants-if ernuf wants
it. Dey wanted er change. Dey had
tried Cleveland, and dey must er bin
satisfied wiz him de fustest time, ur
dey wouldn't er 'lected him de sickind.
All is bound ter remit mahsef dat
Cleveland wus er favorable man de
fustest time. He was SO favorable
dat some Of de dimmercrats kicked
case he wouldn't glib 'em all what dey
wanted.
"Ah has knocked erroun' de kentry
for er good while, an All knows dat
hard times comes whos'mever is in de
power. Ah'se never furgit de panic OBJ
1878. 1t GIBBS me de heart disease to
think OBJ it yit. All was nussin' de
yaller fever in Memphis, an after dat
All wus err runnin' de ribber. De yaller
fever wages wus good an All done
saved one hundred and seventy dol
lars. All put it in de Fust national
bank at Cairo. One day All sees in de
1t was arter what dey called Black
Friday. All couldn't wait twill de
boat gifts ter Cairo. We gifts thar at
six o'clock in de mawnin', an All jes
bumped up de hill to de bank. De fust
thing All see WIS a notice, Bank
closed All sot down on de bank steps
an All dess cried an boo-hooed-Ah
wus only young Teller den. Bimeby
All axed er sto'keeper whar dat white
man lived what KEEP de bank. He
didn't know, he said de man'd be about
de bank at nine o'clock. All waited,
but All didn't hope to ever see NAH
money agin'. When de bank man
come along All nailed him. All wus
near tickled to def wen he said All
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