The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1894-11-30

idiotic leer of clothing store dummy,
ogling the women as they pass on the
sidewalk.
This kind of clubman is compare
lively harmless. but the other kind.
the clubmen of the police force, are
entirely different from the rich, but
effeminate, dudes who wear baggy
clothes and are afflicted with a sup
posed-to-be cockney dialect that is sug-
gestive of chronic nasal catarrh. New
York club dudes are the dudiest, to
coin a word, and most unspeakably
idiotic. in the world. In this respect
the New York article defies competi-
ton. The club window dummies of
Philadelphia and Chicago are but sick
" limitations in comparison.
Physically, the New York policeman
is to be admired. He is usually above
six feet tall, and originally splendidly
proportional. As he grows older he
becomes portly and majestic, the
natural result of living on the fat of the
land, and taking just enough exercise
to promote digestion. One would sup
pose that such favored son of fortune
would be in a perpetual good humor
with himself and the rest of mankind;
but such is not the experience of those
who have been brought in contact with
our officers of the law. The New York
policeman, like the New York janitor,
is Enthusiastically su' generis. The at
mosphere of Manhattan Island is in
despensable to his perfect development.
1t would require large volume to
enumerate all the Objectionable peculi-
arities of our guardians. They are as
full of discrepancies as shad is of
bones. OF course, not all the New York
policemen are Objectionable. There
are some, no doubt, who are gentle
men, for there are exceptions to every
rule. As Cervantes puts it: 1T is not
improbable that there are some very
nice people even in Hades." In fact. the
entire police force of New York will
have to be reorganized in the interests
Of law and order. 1t is mistake. how
ever, to suppose that any particular par
" is to blame for the decentralization of
the force, for some of the most objec
tionable police captains are republic
ans, and some of them are practically
socialistic. when it comes to dividing
what belongs to other people.
Heretofore the New York policeman
has enjoyed what is commonly called
"a cinch." As soon as he gets his blue
uniform on he begins to make it lively
for the general public. He goes around
raising large crops of cushion-shaped
wens on the heads of those whose style
does not suit him. He raises these
wens with impunity and locust club
If the victim is not so badly used up
that he has to be sent to the hospital
for repairs. the cop" feeds him to a
dusky cell. even as the hunger of the
editorial waste basket is quenched by
the bountiful crop of autumnal poems.
The question naturally arises: Are
there no evil consequences when the
victim becomes convalescent. and ap-
peals TO the courts? There are such
consequences. and very disagreeab BILE
ones they are. too-to the victim. Dan
gerous as IS the rampant policeman
with a club on the street, he Is in
finitely more dangerous on the witness
stand. With some slight assistance
from the judge. with whom he has a
pull, he makes it appear perfectly
plain that the bruised and battered vic
tim was really the aggressor. 1t is gen.
orally understood that when a man be-
comes a member of the New York po-
lice force his conscience is removed
from his bosom, and a long coil of
flexible rubber tubing is substituted.
Before he becomes an officer of the law
he may be so sensitive that he cannot
see railroad cut, or newspaper cut,
without feeling hurt himself, but he