davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Asheville daily citizen., 1894-11-27
Nothing New,


QuiNotc ia his enterprise, and hopeless his ad'
venture is,
WGo seeks for jocularities that haven't yet
been said.
The world has joked necessarily for over fifty
centuries,
And every joke that $ possible has long ago
been made.
/ started as u humorist with lots Of mental dz
7inCsS,
But humor is drug which II s the fashion to
abuse,
For my stock in trade my fixtures and the
good will Of the business
No reasonable offer am likely to refuse.
And II anybody choose
He may circulate the news
That no reasonable offer am likely to refuse
Oh, happy was that humorist-the first that
made pun at all
Who when joke occurred to him, however
poor and mean,
Was absolutely certain that it never had been
done at all
How popular at dinners must that humorist
have been!
Oh, the days when some stepfather for the
query held handle out
Tho doormnt from tho scraper, is it distant
very far?
And when no one knew were Moses was when
Aaron put the candle out
And no one had discovered that door could
be a.iar!
But your modern hearers arc
In their tastes particular,
And they scecr if you inform them that a
door car be a.jar
W. S. Gilbert's New Opera.
Asheville daily citizen., 1894-11-27

THE Chinese deny that Port Arthur
has heen taken by the Japanese. They
will probably be readyto admit it BY the
time Pekin is part of the spoils of war in
Japan's museum.
Asheville daily citizen., 1894-11-27
InG.n ShnMl, at NYindsnr.

Queen Nictopiu's store of India shawls
is failing, The shawls arc getting
scarccr and scufccr every year, After
the India mutmy tribute was laid upon
certain princes and chiefs in Inlia to
their sovereign lady Of divers costly
stuifs, and for number of years the
shawls, etc, arrived regularly; but of
late years, owing TO the deaths Of some
of the tributary potantatcs and the
suppression Of others, The stock has
much declined. The precious articles
are kept in snnAalwood wardrobes at
Windsor under the care Of the queens
FIRST wardrobe woman.
Asheville daily citizen., 1894-11-27
A BABY BOY STOLEN.

From the Atlanta Journal.
A thlef has stoleu my baby boy,
Aud never sgain shall b come to me.
He vas With ne here bat yesterday,
And ! loved and watehed him tendetly.
But q lad 10 standing BY ny eide.
A lad that 10 stronE In bic youthful
prime; ,ss
For t6e thief that stole nv little boy
Was the thisf Of ysare-old Father
Asheville daily citizen., 1894-11-27
Tall Goes with the Hide.

From the Atlanta Constitution
The Washington Post is down on free
coinage but defends the fashion of bob
tailed horses. We mention this to show
how great minds wander when they get
started on the wrong road.
Asheville daily citizen., 1894-11-27
POSTMASTER GENERALS REPORT.

pOSTM !ASTER GENERALS REPORT.
Postmaster Bissell has just made his
annual report. We seldom look tor any
thing very exciting from these messages
of the cabinet officers; they are generally
old straw too long thrashed over. But
Mr.. bissell is original. vigorous and it
terestirg ia his report. The most in
portant topic is treated under the en-
planatory caption: ABUSES connected
with second class matters" Mr.. Blssel
states without reserve that advertisers,
book publishers and Others have taken
advantage of the broad construction OF
what constitutes matter OF the secord
class by sending out their advertisements
and publications under the technical dis.
guisc of newspapers and periodicals., and
have thus secured the lene6t of the
lower rate OF postage. He has discovered
that the abuse has grown so great that
it now costs the government eight times
as mu h to carry second class matter. as
the revenue derived from it. Part of this
second class matter is thus referred to
by the Postmaster Geueral:
"rhe most conspicuous class of these
pretended periodicals. are what are now
generally known as serial paper covered
books. They are in no sense serial, how
ka:,
some such general designation as the
Firesidc Seric-. the Detective Library
or some other title of like character.
They are nothing hut books, pure and
simple, and manv Of them very trashy
at that. each one distinct in itself, the
series never being devoted to ANYTHING
in particular. having few subscribers,
and with no real sub, rip'ion prise, ex.
ccpt a nominal one, for not one man in
hundred ever dreams of buving the
bnoks except as he would buy any other
book"
The Postmaster &, neral viii! be doing
the public great service it he can, under
the present law or new one made tor
that purpose, retire this class ot publi-
cations from the benefits OF the second
class rate. They come fairly under the
head Of pernicious literature. and ave
bought almost wholly by boys on whom
they cannot but have bad influence.
MIR. Bissell adds
''lfit be the policy Of the Congress to
continue the privileges on second class
rates to benevolent or fraternal societies
then the remedy would suggest would
be an amendment to the law. limiting
this rate to them and to legi, innate
newspapers and legitimate periodical
magazines. lteiieve that one years ex.
perience under such limitations, with the
frauds and abuses checked, would dem
onstrate that We have already reached
the time and conditions when all such
legitimate newspapers and periodical
magazints may be transmitted through
our mails from publishers into the bauds
Of subscribers free of all costs"
We do not see. however, why "lcgiti-
mate newspapers and periodical maga-
zines should not pay their way. 1t
they were sent free there would be but
few instances where the public would
have the benefits OF the reduction; the
publishers would reap the advantage.
Mr.. Bissell's recommends in this par.
tlcular 10. however, in the right direc.
ton.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
II WIN Help business.

The best news that has come over the
wires for some time was the special to
The CHRONICLE this morning, saying
that Debs had called the strike off.
Since the final result was easily foreseen
it is better that this be done. The mat
ter had gotten to be between the strikers
and the government and could have but
one termination. The men. here will
now be released from any obligations
and will no doubt gladly go to work
again, as the fight was not originally
against the OR & N. 1t will make
business much better.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
Wanted.

Farrell & Co.'s table syrups are easily
dieested by children.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
difficult matter to make any statement
on the supply or what the prices will be.
1t is safe to say that they will be no
higher than last year.
From Sherman County .
Moro Observer.

The old Love residence at Poplar
Grove, was destroyed by fire on the
morning of the 9th. Tramps.
A son of Frank Payne came near being
killed on the sth, having been thrown
from horse he was riding near Rut-
ledge, his foot catching in the stirrup.
His head was bruised and flesh cut, but
he will soon recover. For time death
seemed certain.
w. H. and H. A. Moore of Moro, were
at Deschutes on the Sth, and made ar
rangementf for handling wheat on big
scale at that point this season. There
is considerable talk of late about the
best shipping point on the Columbis, in
Sherman county, being at Deschutes.
1t is certainly fine location for both
shipping and manufacturers, as it has
unlimited water power.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
JULY JINeLINes.
Leaves From the Notebook of Chronicle
Reporters.

Walter Rowe was taken below this
morning by Deputy Sheriff Phirman.
J. F. Kress and thirteen men went to
the locks this morning. to begin putting
the telegraph lines in good condition.
A light east wind prevails today and
consequently the mercury is roosting in
the upper story of the thermometer.
The ladies of the Congregational church
will give lawn soclable at the grounds
next Tuesday evening. A good time is
promised.
The time checks for most of the men
discharged by the railroad company,
have arrived and are being paid off by
French & Co.
Mr.. Thomas Gilmore came over from
Klickitat this afternoon. He tells us he
will have the grade over the mountain
finished in day or so.
A fsh-wheel at the Cascades was
timed by parties the other day and while
they were watching it, it took the salmon
in at the rate of thirtytwo a minute.
Some of our readers who want to know
where the county money goes can get a
pretty good idea by reading 'the item
concerning that fact in this issue. Most
of the money goes to running the busi-
ness of the county and Is put back in
circulation among the people.
The Oregonian gives half a column
notice to Mr.. Homer G. Davenport, the
newspaper illustrator, an Oregon boy
who came up from San Francisco re-
Gently. His sketches are in great de-
mand both by newspapers and maga-
zines, and fame waits on his footsteps
Hefs cousin of Mr.. R. G. Davenport,
The CHRONICLE foreman.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
The Markets.

FRIDAY, July 13.-The markets have
been sluggish for the past week, al
though an improvement is noticeable
since our last report. The low price of
produce and the influence of the strikes
is largely the cause. The crippled con-
dition of transportation has checked to
some degree the movement of freight.
Prices are unchanged in nearly all
lines of merchandise. In produce there
are no changes reported in quotations.
Eggs are in full supply and the market
is weak. Poultry is dull on the market.
We heard of spring chickens selling at
$1.2o per dozen yesterday.
The grain bag question is beginning
to be interesting as the harvest season
is fast approaching. At present it is a
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
Choked to Death.

Earl the little son of Mr.. and Mrs. L.
Hill choked to death last night, while
eating his supper. The little fellow was
only % months old and was very deli
cate, having been sick for the past year.
1t is supposed that either bread crumb
or small bit of onion got in his wind
pipe. The funeral will take place this
evening in Sunset cemetery. Services
at the house at 6 O'Clock.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13

A good giil; one who can do general
housework. G. L. RIcHMoND.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
PERSONAL MENTION.

B. Kelsay of Fossil is in the city.
Mr.. P Ahola OF Centerville is in the
city.
Superintendent Borie is in the city
today.
H. R. sibley, deputy o.. s. marshal,
is in the city.
Geo. P. Sink of wasco is registered at
the Umatilla.
Hon. D. W. Pierce came over from
Goldendale yesterday and returned this
morning.
CIV. Hunt, the railroad builder, and
wife, went down on the Regulator this
morning.
Frank Gordon, who has been below
what better.
J.B. Current, the Goldendale mer-
chant, returned from business trip to
Portland last night.
Mrs. Atwood of Goldendale and Mrs.
Hayden of Fairview were passengers on
the Regulator this morning.
Hon. w. R. Dunbar of Goldendale,
after a trip to Portland, returned last
night and left for home this morning.
He is one of the regents of the Soldiers
Home at OrtiDg, and went below in
tending to attend meeting of the
board, but owing to the strike could not
make it.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13

Subscribe for The CHRoN1c1E.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
Real Estate Movements.

The following deeds were fled for rec
ord today:
United States to William Bennett,
swA sec. 10, tip 1 n, l5 e-patent for
timber culture.
United States to Robert S. Bradley,
ny, ne14 and e16, nw4 sec. lS, tip l 8,
13 e.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
County commissioners Court, Jury
Term, 1894.

The bills for judges and clerks of elec
ton were allowed, the large precincts
being paid Sc for two days and the
smaller precincts $3.50 for one day and
half. Messengers were allowed their
bills at ten cents per mile. Other bills
were allowed as follows:
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
Cord Wood.

We again have an abundant supply of
dry fir and hard wood for Immediate
delivery at the lowest rates, and hope to
be favored with a liberal share of the
trade. Jos. T. PETERS & Co.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13

When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria.
When she was Child. she cried for Castoria.
When she became Miss. she chung to Castoria.
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13

Bills allowed witnesses in Sherman
county cases are not noted. All bills
not otherwise marked were allowed.
The bills of the deputy sheriffs for cleo
tion day were all allowed
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13

Ask your grocer for Farrell & Co.'s
table syrups-sweet clover honey, rock
candy drips and Puritan maple.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13

ASK your grocer for Farrell & Co.'s
sweet clover honey, rock candy drips
and Puritan maple syrups. These
syrups guaranteed pure.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-07-13
For Colio aud Grubs

In my mules and horses, give Simmons
Liver Regulator. have not lost ne
1 gave it to.
E. T. TAYLOR, Agt. for Changers of Ga.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

almost rs rcstful as an hours lay OIL.
Take n little wooden tub-evory bathroom
should have one-illl it with warm water
drop in cupful of sea or common table
salt; paddle around in this impromptu
shore bath for a time, dry the feet ON
towel that will produce friction, then slip
your 10 toes into flesh pair of stockings
and if before your bath you have been
ready to drop" you will feel almost
"mado over, as it were, after this opera
ton.
A tonic very much in favor with women
who are obliged to stand Il great deal is
the spirit bath. Alcohol and neutral spirits
are both fine. Pour into palms and rub
feet vigorously, Professional dancers
men who are noted pedestrians and aero
bats, keep in good conditioG,5y using spirit
baths. Bathing the feet ilS'alcoh0l, after
one has been exposed to cold and damp,
will cen prevent serious colds.
AS hot water causes the feet to swell, it
Is we'll after hot bath to rub them and
then use slippers while exercising This
will save one from an unpleasant tightness
that wearing II snug fitting shoe after a
bath is bound to emphasize. Many women
find instant relief from fatigue by simply
plunging the feet into very cold water.
Alum and water, it is said, will take out
the painful sensation caused by overfa-
tiguc.
The old fashioned foot bath of mustard
and water, many mothers believe, will
sidetrack fever, cure Il genuine nervous
headache and produce sleep.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17
LAND AND WATER TRICYCLE..

cycle would have mono unless linked to
cumbersome system Of boat. One of the
latest novelties in this direction is the land
and water tricycle. OF Mr.. George Pinllcrt
of Germany.
Tho machine consists Of Il front steering
wheel, which is made Of thin steel plates
and is rs inches wide mt the axle, forming
q lens shaped, alright vessel of great
bu0yancy. The edge Of this is fitted with
concayo metal rim and u rubber tire for
running on land, the keel so to speak, be-
coming the tire. Tho two large propelling
wheels are composed Of circular tube of
steel plate formugan alright ring about
feet in diameter, connected with the
nave Of the axle by means Of steel spolles
and fitted with paddles on either side of
the outer circumference. 1t is like the
paddle wheel of u steamboat, having
solid coro running through tho center of
the wheel to which the paddles are at
tachcd, instead Of to the two side rims rs
in the steamboat. Outside Of the alright
core, and attached to it by steel rods, is IN
ordinary concavc metal bicycle rim fitted
with hard rubber tire.
In all other respects tho tricycle. is an
ordinary one having the scat over the
axle, between the two wheels, which are
rather wide apart for the purpose of Civ
ing moro stability by the greater beam.
At recent trial in the Munich baths the
speed of over six miles an hour was OBJ
tained.
As far back as 1882 a imam named Kunan
of Brussels invented a machine which was
well tested in the smooth water Of bath,
and was, on the 2SUh OF July, ridden across
the English channel by an Englislman
named Terry. Dover was left at u. m.,
and Calais was reached in less than eight
hours, the rider being almost exhausted by
the lcoway made by his machine. The
total distance Travelled by Terry was csti
mated to be nearly 80 miles. The machine
lo rode was high standing one, the
wheels being so inch, this being before the
day Of the low wheeled safety" and so
the wind had a considerable effect on it
and carried the rider far out Of his course.
The New York sun, authority for the fore
going, says that Uncle Sam has not been
bchindhand in the matter of water tricy-
clos, and no less than 10 Of various de-
signs have been patented and tried with
more or less success in America. Some
are for smooth water and some for rough
water at sen, the latter being fitted with
boats on the catnmaran style.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

To construct a cellar so rs TO be water
proof writer in an exchange advises that
the ilosr be first covered with cement, the
walls built thereon laid in cement and the
exterior Of the walls covered with cement.
This makes practically water tight ba-
sin. The cement used must DO the best
portland cement, one part; clean sharp
sand, one part. After a cellar is built it
is not so easy to make it waterproof.
still it can be done. Cover the exterior of
the wall with the above cement, ditto the
bottom, and work the cement in under the
bottom Of the wall. If these directions are
followed, you will succeed. But if cheap
materials are used and the work badly done
you will be sure to fail. The drain put
around the outside of the wall, or even in
side, below the cellar floor, may be efficient
in carrying off the water if you can give it
p good delivery
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17
ROSE HUED REFLECTIONS.


Light From Festive Scenes Strained
Through Pink Shades.
Decorators and furnishcrs, persons who
give entertainments and persons who go
to them, have all come to the conclusion
that tho light shed upon festive scenes
must be strained through pink shades in
order to be becoming as well us cheerful.
Blue is out Of tho question, green is too
melancholy, red too demoniacal, yellow
too trying to the complexion and white too
cold. Pink is the one and only tint uni
vcrsally suitable and the desired rosy tinga
Is obtained by means of numerous littlo
devices not necessarily expensive. 1t is
not necdful to discard white and crystal
globes and replace thom by Others made
Of pink glass, for IN equally good effect is
obtained with shades constructed out of
pink cambric Of silk. For electric lights
u leaf shaped shield Of roso colored paper is
provided, which falls in front Of the light
and mGllows its rays TO the right degree.
A woman who has ever carried d pink par
asol knows what power lies in light so fl
tered to brighten and translisuro the com.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17
The Weight of the Brain.

The average weight of the brain of an
adult male is three pounds eight ounces, of
female is two pounds four ounces. The
nerves are all connected with it directly or
by tbs. spinal marrow. These nerves, with
their branches and minute ramiflcations,
probably exceed 10,OOO,OO0 in number
Popular Science News.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

Mrs Winsow's Soothing Syrup has been
used for over fifty years by millions or
mothers for their children while tee ething
with perfect success. 1t soothes the child,
softens the gums, allays all pain; cures
wind collie. and is the best remedy for di-
arrhma. Sold by druggists in every part
Of the world Be sure and nsl for MRS.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup" and take no
no other kind. twenty-five cents a bot
tie. "
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

Gold Medal Brand.
Dunmore-F p. Price, Gold Medal Brand.
Dunmore-F. d. ManlOy, Superlative Brand,
Hyde Park-Carson & Davis Washburn st.
Gold Medal Brand; Jrseph A. Mears Main
Avenue, SuperlaCiye Brand.
Green Rilgc- A. L.Sponcer. Gold Medal Brand.
J. 4. McHale, Superlatvc.
observation-disclosures g. ChappelL N Main ave
nue., Superlatiyo lrand;C. }. Gillespie, w.
Market street, Gold Med Il Brand.
Olyphant-Jamcs Jordan, Supcrlatve Brand
Jcrmyn-C, y. Winters Il Co Supera.ative
Archball-Joaea, mp3)n y Co.. Gold Medal.
Cnrbondalc-B. 5. Clark, Gold Medal Brand.
Homes sla!c-.I. N. Foster S Co. Gold Medal.
Muooka-M. II. Lavello
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17
THE PAINLESS FOOT.
Without which One Can BE Neither Truly
Healthy Nor Happy.

Without Which One Can BE Neither Truly
Healthy Nor Happy.
Too many of us know full well what it
Is to suffer with feet that ache, burn and
In other ways refuse TO pleasantly perform
the tasks assigned them Standing much
upon tho feet causes them to swell, walk
Ing heats thom, and both troubles arc ex-
haustive when unrolievod,
One should bo unaware that one has
feet. No one can accomplish the days
duties and pleasures in q satisfactory man.
ner when conscious that the feet are not
thoroughly in order for service. The follow
ing recommendations from Golden Days
contain valuable aids to securing that per-
feet condition which is necessary to health
and happiness
Two or three hot foot bSths o week and
little pedlcuring will give great ease and
comfort. Tired feet find a warm salt bath
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

plezion, so she will at once appreciate the
delightfulness Of ballroom thus illumi-
mated. But why should such q charming
effect be left entirely to public functonsy
Pink is pretty color for other things
besides checks, however. Itcannot boworn
by sallow person or one with n rough
skin, but its various tones are becoming
to many different types Of women il the
shade be carefully selected with regard to
tho Individual characteristics. A sketch
is given of a costume Of rose colorod taffo-
ia and crcpon. The first skirt is Of accor-
dion plated tafreta; the second, of embroid-
cred crepon slightly drNped on the left side
under choux. Tho bodice, belt and basque
ere Of crepon, while the sleeves anu bolcro
are of taffcta. JUDO CHOLLET.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

Two or three drops of spirits of camphor
on lump Of sugar will often quiet the
paroXysms Of cough in sleeping children.
For this and its value as an external ap-
plication IN bruises, sprains, muscular
Soreness etc, u fair sized bottle should
always be on hand.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

DIR. WOODS Norway Pine Syrup was
used for years us ii prescription by sue
cessful physician. 1t is in all respects the
best cough medicide made today. SOLD by
all dealers on guarantee of satisfaction
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-07-17

When Baby was sick, wo gnvc her Castoria
When she was Child, She cried for Castoria.
When she became Miss she clung to Castoris.
When she had Children, she gave them CastoTla,