Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1894-06-17
SOME VERY CRANK LETTERS
Lev CORRESPONDENCE THAT
PouRs IN ON UNCLE SAM.
..or,e with Insane seheme---A
cn,,ous plan for Religious cnr-
aen-A Modern Aichemirt-rhe
IDEAS Of Many People Given.

!, Asmentia, having nothing better to
4, commonly amuse themselves with
~-,apr letters to the government
rypry one OF the departments here
,scelyes great numbers OF communica-
Ans from cranks of all sorts, most
4 whom. however. are not under re-
,,raint. Many OF them are the wild
et,bcrings of hopeless lunacy-nearly
.lvays religious lunacy-while some
M exceedingly amusing.
There is one man who wants the
aspartment OF agriculture TO establish
vhat he calls religious garden"
rIs plan is that trees, shrubs, etc,
,hali be obtained from the Holy Land
N reproducing In this country the
egrien Of Eden. Incidentally, the
sultabiity Of American soil and eli
mate for the plants Of dawnlng crea-
ION will be demonstrated. Plants pos
,essing Significance In con-
secilon with Bible history-sueh
the olive. the palm and
he cedar OF Lebanon-would be In
,lufed. of course. The plan pays no
attention to the scientific belief that
ihe vegetation OF the garden Of Eden
could not have been comparable to
hat OF the present day. the evolution
q plants toward beauty and perfec-
ton having been steadily progressing
y.ace the beginning
A note of alarm is sounded by New
\ York crank. who wrltes
THE extent to which the nation Is
nslng electricity Is most seriously af-
fsc,ng the atmosphere. and, conse-
auently, the weather and climate, and,
Subsequently again. both animal and
Vegetable life. The grip was unquestlon-
ably caused by the action OF artificial
tectriclty upon the oxygen OF the air.
The use Of electricity has thus ruined
the health OF millions, sent tens Of
thousands into untlmely graves, and
caused the loss by fire, storm and flood
4 81 hundreds Of millions Of dollars,
< worth OF property, and without one
4 Eord OF protest from the press or gov
r eminent is still permitted to continue
rs devllt5h work Of death and de-
X structlOn."
TO Prevent the Enrth's Destruction.
: Another lunatic gives notice OF the
A approaching destruction of the earth
4 BY comet. He wants government
board appointed to hear his plans for
tscaping from the danger. In his last
letter on the subject he says;
4 when see the lives OF all men
and animals in peril, while you seem
a eallous to my appeal for your own
4 reservation. assure you 1t is not
pleasant"
A man in the state OF Washington
n wrote to Secretary Morton the other
"A day. saying that he had lost his wife
x and was very lonely. He wanted the
d secretary TO pick out for him "likely
| an al
mat he had written to the department
and got some books. and they We're
good. on another occasion he wrote
iof seeds, and though his neighbors
4 told him that they would not amount
/ % anything. they turned out all right.
20 ne thought that he would be likely
70 do equally well In ordering a wife
nom the department.
Not long ago lady In the same de-
partment received proposal of mar
rage from man in Iowa. He had
seen her picture and a brief sketch of
ner life In the Ladies' Home Journal,
and 1t struck him that the portrait
iesenbled his late wife. He addressed
4 letter TO the original, Offering to
T her carriage. three horses, a house,
mo barns and his heart. The lady,
who Is the widow OF u Confederate
GENERAL, replied in the negative. She
. TOLD him that she had four grand
children. and suggested that he would
90 better TO select younger woman
LOT mate. Nevertheless, he wrote
again asking her to reconsider her de-
cslon.
The department OF agriculture put up
and distributed 9g,00O,0OO packages OF
seeds last year. II is impossible that II
lew mistakes should not be made in
NE execution of so enormous labor.
90 now and then It happens that n
person gets sesds that are wrongly
Apeled, and when they come up he
writes angry letters to Washington.
There is some excuse for disgust when
man has planted his lawn with clover
and finds 1t coming up turnips and rad
shes
That most destructive weed, the Rus
sian thistle, has been much abused of
Ale. Nevertheless, It is said that sheep
VII feed on It. Hearing this. man In
oregon writes to ask for some seeds
81 the plant. II, as alleged, II Will
crow anywhere and will afford material
LOT mutton, he wants 1t. Furthermore,
he suggests that an experiment station
might be established for the cultivation
and Improvement of the thistle.
People are constantly making absurd
requests. Farmers often write TO ask
mat their blowing shall be done Tor
them or their wheat fields weeded. They
NhAt AH1 bbNtA iiAHNAt :" ---
and ought to help poor folks. One man
applied the other day for a loan 81
agricultural implements which he coul9
TOT afford to buy. Another requested
me gift OF q dictionary and Biple.
An Individual with a grievance wrote:
Please hand this to Uncle sam ana
see that he attends to II" From the
phrases he employed 1t was evident
mat he thought Uncle sam was an
actual parsonage. Replies are made 10
Inc most nonsensical missiVes SO long
as an answer rs not likely TO encourage
indefinite correspondence.
Imaginary Claims.
Ever SO many people imagine that the
government owes them immense sums
Of money. One man has a claim for
800 100000. Every now and then he
sends in q demand for payment on a
Postal card. stating that he cannot give
any longer credit. There is a man who
Elves himself the title Of universal
peace commissioner. His business IS y
maintain peace among the nau9ns ~
aching as general arbitrator. Ills sal
sty Of $500 a year Is far in arrears
AID he duns the president for II al Ies-
VAT intervals. Another person oneIs
" teach the government how 10 luIi,
ssiiVer INTO gold. Such n process woulo
ue so extremely desirable at the pressh'
ulne that Uncle Sam would not "
Nudge the 81, 900 900 demanded Tor ihs
ssctet OF 1t. II only any faith were hAu
VI It's practicability.