Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-12-11


and I am going to vote for the most de-
cent man running. ] shant vote bor no
man that amt an exennplar for my ehii-
dren. Some OF these old buns. VINO exis.
on the party like vampires, exclairn, wnen
taken 10 task for II, that they are opiiseu
10 live. It's a lie-you can die any "ay
Won want to. and nobody VIII miss you
7 amt Obliged to live. ! can Ole any uay
God saws so. but I'm obliged 10 90 rish''
and I'm going to do right, socially. COM
mercially. and religiously. so heip me
Cod never tried to pray for but one
politician and then I couldn't pray as
HIGH as I can spit. You hear the OLD lei
lows down my way say they can't raise
cotton for 5 cents pound, and, yet, WIN
n ing of old. red liquor, they can go nome
and raise hell for nothing. some OF 'nose
old fellows win be I'm Heaven Tor aoou'
two days. when you will hear them going
70 the angels and ask them when the next
urinary comes of. 0>aughterD
HOW TO GET THERE.
"Nov let us take a broader view Of
III question and gee how to get there.
MA Won ever see royal. brave, true
man. / did once. and I sat down and
listened TO him. / grew more and more
interested In what he was saying. ana at
the same time grew smaller and sma'er
while he grew larger and larger. went
AWAY from him and since that time my
prayer TO God has been to make me
royal man. such rs he.
Here the speaker paid high tribute 10
President Cleveland, pictured him as a.
great man, and said that although ne was
meeting with many vclsstudes now, ne
would finally guide the ship OF state INTO
placid wAte.s <, and would receive thdt
honor TO which he is justly entitled
Continuing, he said: "A true man? Inc
more / look for them the scarcer 'hey
grow. There are 6o,Op,Wc ladies' ana gen
tIemen in the United States. but mighty
few men and women. fellow asked me
the other day II didn't believe that all
nlggers would steal. No, don't DeheVe
all white man will steal.
Mr.. Jones told OF "A negro who obtained
some calomel from doctor 10 administer
TO a sick mule, and received instructions
to insert il in a quill. place one end OF
the Quill in the mules mouth. and blow
through the other The next day he was
sent for by the negro. and upon reach-
ing his house found him In bed. why,
said he. Il thought II was the mule that
was sickr 80 1t was. doctor" We'll,
what's the matter with your IT'S AL
along Of that calOmel sir" What did
You take the calomel?" mo, sir; you see,
put it in the Quill Jest like you said, and
put the end in the mules mouth. | put
the other end in my mouth. and -.
well. well, sir. de mule he blowed fust.'
Oaughter)
This story he applied to the fool. saying:
"You can't doctor fool. He'll always
blow first 7 saw" he continued. "a
noble a grand woman, the other day.
and looked up into her noble. intelligent
face, and said: Thank God for a noble
You don't see many Of
them, though We have mostly nowadays
these novel-reading girls. If / was mar
ried to one of these kind. and | came
home and didn't find her, ! wouldn't ask
the children where their mother was; I'd
simply say; Where's 1t?
HONEST AND LIVE MEN.
ooh, l do like to see an honest man, a
live man There are lots of young law
yers in this city who can't plead a s.
Police Court case without indulging in
lgnosticism; lots Of young doctors who
can't roll a simple pill without becoming
skeptics. They've never been 500 miles
away from Richmond, yet they know
there Is no God. Why. the little fellows
won't be down in hell two minutes before
they will jump and crack their heels and
cry out: oh, Lord. I've made a mis-
take
About all n fellow needs to give him
life is a motive and about two motives
will give him all the life he wants. To
illustrate: | was driving along the country
road one morning, when a big dog jumped
over the fence and attacked my dog. He
knew what 20 do at the right moment,
and he tuck his tail and ran. and /
tell you he moved. Nancy Hanks wasn't
In II. After about a half mile of this
another dog, bigger than the other one,
jumped over the fence, and put out after
both of the others. Then, If ever dog
did hump himself, that middle one did.
He had two motives-my dog in front and
The big dog behind. Every Christian is
like that middle dog. He has God in front
Of him and the devil behind him."
The speaker then dwelt at some length
on courage, and said that although he
wasn't fighter. he wouldn't give a cent
for a man that wouldn't protect his
wife's husband. and a bachelor was even
worse. Mettle. he said, was what a man
wanted TO be successful, and he told
several anecdotes to illustrate his point.
A Methodist minister. he thought, should
be the most courageous man on earth.
All they could do with him was to
get conference to move him, and then
all he had TO do was TO pack up his
backing brush, whistle to his dog, and
move on to some other post. (Applause.)
BE PATIENT AT HOME.
Patience was his next point, and he
dwelt at some length on patience in the
l,fyt or rIa
patience would be a better mother and
mother who had still more patience
would be grand mother. Pussy wives
were alluded 10. and the speaker said
that he knew numbers of men thus
afflicted, who could sing with all SIN
certify, II Would Not Live Away"
Sentiment was another one Of his
thoughts and in dilating on 1t he paid
glowing tribute to the sentiment which
prompted the southern soldier TO bare
his breast to 1000 bullets. II heard"
said he, that the other day the Grand
Army Of the Republic In Pittsburg
marched through the streets and dis
played several Confederate flags that they
had captured. We all know that they
out numbered us five TO one. Now, when
ever 1t takes four fellows and myself
TO take one mans hat away from him,
amt going around and show that hat
I'll give 1t to a niger" Great applause
''Do you know that / feel mighty
kindly toward one OF those good hearted
fellows, full of sympathy and sentiment:
that kind of sentiment that a look from
my mother used to create in my BOSOM
There's many u woman in this town to-
night who is unhappy, not because her
husband don't love her. but because he
don't tell her so. Brother, IL you've
got wife, go home and tell her the old
thing YOU love her. Many Of you will
have to lie. know, but do II, anyhow"
Uaughter)
Returning 10 the original subject-that
of fast men-Mr. Jones said: Il like fast
horses, but there Is only one thing that
don't like about Kentuckians, and that
is that they breed colts worth $4,000 and
raise boys worth about three for a dollar.
l love a good horse-race, and II a number
OF good horses were on a track / would
be tempted, preacher as l am. to go one
eye on them, but ! will not attend them
on account OF the men who frequent the
track. II you'll breed up your men 10 the
standard or your horses I'll go to your
races. The horses are thoroughbreds. the
men are scrubs Here he gave a graphic
and exciting account of a race between
two trains just out Of Cincinnati, and
closed his lecture with the observation
that laZiness was not the cause OF a
mules slowness. but II was a thick hide