Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1894-06-23
THE REMoRSELESS BARBER
Experience of a Lecturer with the Hair
Trimming Eiend.

Experience of a Lecturer with the Hair
Trimming Fiend.
The wild ungOycrnable passion Il
barber has for trimming your hair
ON the 4th of December / was in BoS-
ton. thinking about Il lecture | was cN-
l'cctcd TO deliver in the evening. and
So badly scared that | couldn't re
member the subject nor what it wa>
about. went into Il fremont street
''lnstitutc of Facial Manipulation and
TonSorial Decoration" and inquired
for the professor who occupied the
chair of Mcdiacval Shaving and Nine
tcrnth Century Shampoo. one of the
Junior members of the faculty. who
was brushing an undergraduates Goa t
pointed me to chair. and ! climbed
in. When the performance was about
concluded. the barber said to me:
Have your hair trimmed. SIR
| believe not
Needs it very badly. sir" he said;
'looks very ragged"
never argue with a barber. | said:
"All right. trim it IL little. but don't
make it any shorter
Immediately he trimmed all the curl
out of it. and my hair naturally. you
know. has a very graceful curl to it,.
! never discovered this myself until
few months ago. and then | was
very much surprised. | discovered it
by looking at my lithograph.
Well anyhow. he trimmed it.
On the 9th of December | was at
Bath. Maine. Again l was shaved
and again the barber implorcd me to
let him trim my hair. When | an
wcrcd him that it had been trimmed
only two days before, he Sptcfully
4 .l-nl -l,nt., I t.NII !,
and he gave expression to a burst of
sarcastic laughter.
well. we'll. WELL" he said at last.
$50 YOU let them trim your hair in
Boston. Well. well. Now you look
like Il man who has been around the
world enough to know better than
that"
Then he affected to examine Il lock
or two very particularly, and sighed
heavily
Dear, dear" he said. 81 don't know
really. as | could do anything with
THAT hair or not: it's too bad
Well his manner frightened me. and
| told him to go ahead and trim it.
but please not to make it any shorter.
no. he said. "oh. no. it wasn't
necessary to cut it any shorter: it was
really too short now. but it did need
trimming"
SO he ''trimmed' it. and when |
faced the Rockland audience that
night. | looked like Il prize fighter.
In four days from that time | was
itting in the chair of a barber down
II New York State. He shaved me
in grateful silence. and then thought
fully run his fingers over my lonely
hair.
Trim this hair a little. sir?" he said.
">traightrn it up about the edges"
mcrkly told him | had it trimmed
twice during the preceding week. and
for winter wear.
Yes" he said. "he didn't know but
what it was pretty short. but you
didn't need to cut it any shorter to
Trim it. 1t WAS in very bad. ragged
shape ut the ends
remained silent and obstinatc. and
I" asked me where | had it trimmed
last. | told him and he burst into Il
shout of laughter that made the win
tlowS rattle.
'What'S the matter. JIM" inquired
m assistant partner down the room,
holding his patient in the chair by the
nose.
Jim Stihcd his laughter and replied:
This gentleman had his hair trim
ned down in Maine"
There was a general burst of mcrri-
m"nt all over the shop. and the ap-
prentice laid down the brush he was
washing and came over to look at the
Maine cut. that he might never for
get it. | surrendered. Trim it
little. then" | groanrd. "but. in the
name of humanity don't cut it any
shorter"
No" the barber said. "he wouldn't
make it Il hairs breadth shorter
When | left that shop. if it hadn't
prcn for my ears. my hat would have
fallen down clear on my shoulders.
When | reached the hotel. everybody
started. and couple of men got up
and read Il handbill on the wall. deS-
criptivc of convict who had recent
ly escaped from Sing Sing. and looked
from thr bill to myself very intcntly.
That night several of the audience
drew rrvolvcrS as | came out on the
platform.
Then ! went to Amsterdam. y. y
The barber Of that sleepy village.
who. in the interval of his other du-
ties acts ~ mayor of the town. and
edits the local papers. undertook to
shave me with a piece of hoop iron
he pulled out of his boot leg. When |
resisted hc went out into the kitchen
and came back with a kitchen knife
and can-opcncr. and offered me my
choice. | selected the can opener. and
he began the massacre, remarking in
c;dcntally that he used to keep a good
sharp spoke shave for his particular
customers. but he lost it. Then he
said my hair needed trimming. very
badly. protested that it was I'M
possible. it had been trimmed three
times within ten days. and was as
short now as business man on the
LIST of January.
"Oh" he said, "it wasn't too short.
and beside there wasn't no style about
it at all" He could give it some
shape. however, he said, without max
ing it any shorter.
So | surrendered and told him to
shape it up. And if that foredoomed.
abandoned. Amsterdam son of an
oakum picker didn't go out into the
woodShed and come back with Il rusty
old horse rasp and began to file away
what little hair | had left. He allow
ed few shreds and patches to re-
main. however, clinging here and
there to my scalp in ghostly lOncli-
ness | rather feared that my ap-
pcarance that evening would create Il
panic, but it did not. | observed that
the majority of the audience had their
heads shaped up" after the same
manner, and We're rather pleased with
my conformity to the local custom and
style.
Well, l got along to Cory, Pa, and
rushed in for a shave and got it in