Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-07
Mrs. Timmins Makes An Anagram

Mrs. Timmins Makes An Anagram.
Nov, my DEAR" said Mr.. Tim
Minis, as he burst into the house
the other day with grin of broad
good humor upon his face, "I've
got an idea"
NO." said Mrs. Timmins; shave
you really?"
"Yes," said Mrs Timmins, as the
smile froze upon his face. ITS a
positive and melancholy fact that
l have. Is there any particular
reason why the head OF this family
shouldn't have an ideap You
think it's some sort of new disease
I've got, don't you, and that | want
proper care and attention to get
over itp Well, l don't"
II thought" commenced his
wife.
"Of course you did. With what
you think and what your sainted
mother taught you in your infancy,
you only want a dab of ink on your
nose and a file of bills payable to be
an editor. Now, if you set still and
let me get in word edgeways, I'll
tell you what disease I'm suffering
from. My idea is that you make
an anagram, and"
"Of course" said Mrs. Timmins,
with jubilant little giggle. "Tll
run into the kitchen this minute,
get my cookery-book, and"
That's it. Now you've got it,"
snarled Mr.. Timmins. II knew you
would hit it first shot. How to
make an anagram la Timmins.
Take pound of potatoes, mix with
one calf's head, chop fine, boil slow
ly till it bubbles, sugar and salt to
taste, and then stand in a cool
place to settle. Will that suit you?
D'you think you see suffering tax
payer of this parish groaning with
the collie after eating your Timmin's
anagram?
"Some of these days, when l get
time, I'm going to wrap piece of
cardboard round you and sell you
to an appreciative public under the
title of Every Woman her own
Anagram Maker There's money
in it-money in it." and Mr.. Tim
Minis made a wild sweep with his
arms Indicative to the words filled
with gold.
Now just you bring that vast
mind of yours to the level of the
commonplace, and listen to me.
Here's paper that offers two bicy-
cles for the best anagrams on the
words swift and Marlboro Club
Cycles An anagram, Mrs. Trim
Minis, means jumbling all those let
ters together and making another
sentence of them. Grasp thatp"
"Oh. yes!" said Mrs. t., deter
mined to make no mistake this time.
"You mix them like box of DOM
inoes."
Just so, just so. Then you shut
your eyes and pick, and whoever
gets double six leads. Oh, / know
it all, Mrs. Timmins, you can't teach
me-"
All unsuspecting of sarcasm Mrs.
Timmins went on.
Nov, let's play it. See | make
a B and an A and r, and L and E
and Y, and why, bless me, there is
a T an A an r, and that 7 over
again makes Barley Tart"
Mr.. T. was simply paralyzed.
For moment he glanced at his
wife speechless-hopeless.
"Stop it! turn it off, he roared.
BARLEY tart come out and play,
come out and play, come out and
play, and bring one female a luna
tic asylum bicycle on which she
can break her neck.
"Where's the rest of the dinner?
Why should sit here and starve
on barley tart alone? Amt you
going to make anything more than
a barley tart out of all that mater
ialP All you want now is a smell
of onions and an Italian accent to
be cheap restaurant. With your
ideas on things. in general, you only
need a torn back and three streaks
of paint to be child's A B G book. "
With which remarks Mr.. Tim
Minis went to sec his friend Speck-
wick to arrange for picnic.
II don't care" said Mrs. Timmins,
. L. LII ooJ ecious1v