People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1894-06-01
DeMGCkATIC PRAYER
No. Y.


IN two things: Thou art the greatest
fisherman and hast the biggest neck.
Thy neck, oh. Cleveland, is like unto
a male cows neck, and thy head re-
sembles a stately turnip. The size OF
thy pants is enormous, and thy lower
bosom is beyond description. Thou
art as graceful as a COW and gentle as
hyena. The symmetry of thy per-
son is like mud fence after a rain
storm. We bow before thee once
more, oh, mighty king, to do thee
homage. In ali the land there is none
like unto thee Thou sayest to this
man, go, and he goeth; to that, come,
and he cometh. Thy servants are
many, and thy worshipers are as the
sands upon the seashore. Thou
goest whithersoever thou wilt
and doest whatsoever thou listeth
and no man dare gainsay thee,
for thou art greater than all to-
gether. Thou makest all things to
suit thy will, and frownest upon them
that oppose thee. Dire calamity ac-
companies thy displeasure, but official
pie goes with thy smiles and thy APP
probation. Help US, CHI, Cleveland,
not to offend thee; teach us what thou
wouldst have us to do and to say.
We confess, mighty father that we
have sinned against thee. We lied on
thee when we said thou vert in favor
OF free silver We maligned thee
when we said thou were against the
trusts. We scsndalized thy name
when we said thou wouldst knock
out the Mckinley tariff. We wronged
thee when we asserted that thou vert
opposed TO national banks We SLAM
dered thee and thy Wall street mas
/ tiers when we said that thou vert
honest. We lied like dogs We de-
serve thy wrath. We bow before thee
and ask thy forgiveness. Nay, we lie
down upon our bellies and groyel in
the dirt. Kick us, almighty political
father, and then let MS lick the dust
off the boot which does the kicking.
See, we are willing to turn politi-
cal sOmersaults, and moral hand
springs if thou wilt only forgive us
We are willing to swear that we never
told the truth in all our lives and that
Jefferson was crank, Jackson a
traitor, Calhoun fanatic and Benton
a raving lunatic, if thou wilt only
smile upon us. We are willing
to swear that thou vert the first and
only democrat, and all that went be.
fore thee were impostors. Oh. al
mighty Cleveland, we rejoice that thou
hast at last snatehed from the hands
of the sinful repub leans the practices
and policies of true democracy: that
thou hast brought back into the temple
the ark of the covenants of single gold
standard which the republicans car
ried away, and before which their
god-greenbacks-fell. Our master,
We adore thy name, even as Maria
halpiI used to adore it before her son
Oscar was born. We ask thee to eu-
circle us in the arms of thy love, even
as thou wouldst encircle Maria, and
teach us the new democracy. Tea h
us to obey our political bosses Teach
us to ignore financial questions which
we know nothing about and talk only
of niger domination and force bills.
Teach us to love the money
lenders of England even as thou
lowest them, for is it not written:
Love your enemies Our enemies
want bonds; give them to them. Our
enemies want the dollar made so good
that It will reqlire much property to
get the dollars 10 paw the bonds. Give
them the good dollar, for is it not
written: If man steal your coat
| give. him your cloak also and go
naked YOURSELF" or something to that
effect. Oh, Cleveland, thou must be
an angel, for thou dost "love our ene-
mics" with love exceeding the love
OF the Hindoo mother who casts her
offspring to the croeodies of the
Gauges. Oh, almighty Grover,
through much suffering we are made
perfect" We want to be perfect, and
we thank thee TO: what thou has:
done to make us suffer. Give us more
panics; make money searcer; permit
the trusts to rob US; let the tariff
plumber us; make the prices lower tina
the dollar may be better; I'LL the
country with tramps; make Lazaruses
out of all of sand send us dogs TO lick
our sores; no, never mind the dogs.
we will do our own licking. aud IN
that way be nearer the station in
life to which it has pleased thee
to put u.s." And now, our great DO
litical boss, we thank thee that we are
poor and not stuck up" like some.
We thank thee for the little we have
got and the much we have not got.
We thank thee for the railroads that
rob US and Ike p Us from growing rich
and proud. We thank thee for the