davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

The Polite Conductor.

She was stranger, but that was not
against her if she had not assumed such
naughty airs and proceeded to dictate
terms to everybody in sight. She got OH
Jefferson avenue car shortly after it
had passed Woodward and at once called
imperiously for the conductor to APP
proach her august presence.
81 want to go to Woodward avenue"
she said commandingly.
''Then, madam, he responded cour-
teously, ''you should have got on the car
on the other side of the street, which
we have just passed. -
''Sir?" she exclaimed.
He repeated his remark.
"Well," she retorted, "Td like to
know what difference it makes what
side of the street I get on a car at l
never heard of street car line making
any such discrimination as that. Do
you mean to tell me I've got to go back
there to the other side of that street and
take the car there?''
mot necessarily, madam he said,
bowling. "You can go on with us and
come back. "
The car by this time had got block
OF so farther along ON its journey.
"You see, madam" he added, ''if
you had got on the car most anywhere
on the other side of that street you
would have been there in no time, for
that street is Woodward avenue. Will
you go on with us, or shall stop the Car
and permit you to return?'
1t is such conductors as this that pre-
serve the democracy of the republic
Detroit Free Press.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Woman is a conundrum most deci-
dediy. Still we DO not propose to give
Her up. Let woman have her health
and spirits and she is the sunshine OF
the house. But suppose she is sick,
what then? Why, then there is a
shadow over all the house. Happily
in thousands of homes. such shadows
have been removed. Thanks to DR..
Pierce's Favorite Prescription, the
diseases and weaknesses incident to
their sex have been removed, and with
health restored, their bright spirits
have come back, and the household
has passed from the winter of its dis
content to glad summer of comfort.
Q, suffering women, for your own
sakes, and for the sakes of those about
you, use these simple means and be
healed. The only remedy so effective
in nervous and general prostration,
Female Weakness" periodical pains,
Irregularities and kindred ailments,
that it can be guaranteed or sold on
trial.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
knliefin Six Hours.

Distressing Kidney and Bladder
diseases relieved in six hours by the
NEW GREAT SOUTH AMERICAN KID
NEY CURE" This new remedy is a
great surprise on account of it's exceed
ing prOmptIIess in relieving pain in
the bladder, kidneys, back and every
part of the urinary passages in male
or female. 1t relieves retention of
water and pain in passing it almost i'm
mediately. If you want quick relief
and cure this is your remedy. Sold by
W. NJ. Allen. Druggist, Stuuntou, Va.
july 26, 1893 tyr.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
hat Will Do It2

MEDICAL writer's claim that the sue
cessful remedy for nasal catarrh must
be non-irritating, easy of application,
and one that will reach the remote
sores and liberated surfaces. The his
tory of the efforts to treat catarrh is
proof positive that only one remedy
has completely met these conditions,
and that is Ely's Cream Balm. This
safe and pleasant remedy has mastered
catarrh as nothing else has ever done.
and both physicians and patients free
ly concede this fact. Our druggists
keep it.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Great men, said Themistccles. are
like oaks, under the branches of which
men are happy in finding refuge in
the time of storm aud rain But when
they have To pass a sunny day under
them they take pleasure in cutting the
bark ana breaking the branches. -
Goethe.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
RHEUMATISM CURpD IN nav

RHEUMATISM CURED IN 4 DAY.
"Mystic Cure" for Rheumatism and
Neuralgia, radically cures in to 3
days. Its action upon the system is
remarkable and mysterious It re-
moves at once the cause and the
disease immediately disappears. The
first dose greatly benefits, rs cts. Sold
by w. M. Allen, Druggist, Staun ton
Nov. 15-6mos
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
CONN EDITIONS:

CONN ECIlONS:
Train No. 4OS connects at Harper's Ferry
with Fast Limited Express trains, leaving at
liz p. m, arriving at Columbus at 2-S5 Il. m.
and Pittsburgh at 9:l5 p. M, and Chicago at
u:5j 4. III. next morning; with train leaving
at 5:Dl p. H.. arriving at Cincinnati at 80 q.
H., st. Louis at 6:23 p. M, and connects al
Weverton with train arriving at HagerstowI
1t 200 p. H.. and at Washington junction viii
train arriving at Frederick at l:55 p. m.
Train III connects with fast vestibuied trains
at Harper's Ferry at l0a6 p. m. for Chicago
1921 p M for Pittsburg, and 3:3i a.. m for Gin
cnnati and st. Louis. Arrive at Pittsburg a /
i:26 a. M: Chicago at 9:35 p. m. Cincinnati at
sis p. M, and st. Louis ~ 7:15 a. IN.
Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars run through
to Cincinnati, St. Louis, Chicago anu Pitts
burgh on all express trains.
For rates, tickets, baggage checks, apply to
any office of the B. & o. Il. r., or TO C. E.
Dudrow, Travelling Passenger Agent. Vim
chester, Va, or c. 7. Hammond, CITY ticket
agent, Staunton, Va.
CHAS. o. SCULL, II. B. CAMPBELL,
Gen. Pass. Agt. Gen. Man.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

English SPAWN Liniment removes
All Hard, Soft or CalIoused Lumps and
Blemishes from horses, Blood Spavins,
Curbs, Splints. Sweeney, Ring-Bone,
STILES, Sprains, all Swollen Threats,
Coughs, etc. Save $50 by use of one
bottle Warrant ed the most wonder
fni Cure ever known. Sold by w. M.
Allen, Druggist, Staunton. Va.
Dec 6, 9s, 1y.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Twins.-''So you have twins at your
house" said Il neighbor to Tom nv
Yes, mum, two of EN- "Wha are
you going to call them?'' 9TH Inder
and Lightning" ''Whatstrange u ,ames
to call children p "Well, that is what
pa called them as soon as he heard
they were in the house,
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Pompous Maiden Lady Engaging SER
want, who has taken the liberty to sit
down without being asked)-Do you
know that it is great breach of Ell
quette for any one to sit down in the
presence of their superiors?
Bridget-Dor', yes, mum, but kar,e
your safe l don't behave in tb EN-
ancient perstitions.-Truth.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

1t was a Latin class, and dull boy
was wrestling with the sentence, REX
fugit," which, with painful slowness of
emphasis, he had rendered, 1.-The king
fees" But in what other tense can
the verb fugit be found ~ asked the
teacher. A long scratching of the head,
and final answer of ''Perfect," owing
to whispered prompting. "And how
would you translate it. then ?'-
Dunno" "Why, put has in it,"
Again the tardy emphasis drawled out:
The king has fees Water bury Amer
ic0q
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

L. F. Anthony, ExPostmaster of
Promise City, Iowa, says: II bo@,ght
one bottle of Mystic Cure for Rheu-
matisln and two doses of it did me
more; good than all the medicine l ever
took" Sold by w. M. Allen, Druggist,
StagGnton.
Nov 15-6mos
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

$50 your husband was drowned in
the late floods - said one woman to
an pther. How sad! Did they e.
ccvel the body?" No" sobbed the
widow. ''John always had habit VI
going to The BOTTOM of everything.n
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

ItcI on human, mango on horses,
dogs and I'LL stock, cured in 80 minutes
by 'Voolford's Sanitary Lotion. This
never fails. Sold by ". M. Allen, Drug
gists, Staunton, Va.
Dec 6, SO, ~.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

HOUSE IN CONVICTION STRUCK BY
LIGHTNING.-The Allegheny Sentinel
of last Friday says
Last Saturday about IL O'Clock MI
q. ). Brooks dwelling house in east
Covington was struck by lightning aud
damaged to considerable extent The
family were severely, though none of
them fatally shocked. The lightning
struck the western corner in the 2nd
story. tearing off a considerable lot of
weather boarding and splintering the
corner post and sill, and had any one
been in that part of the house at the
time it is likely that they would have
been instantly killed.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

You must battle re;sularly,n said a
physician, era veJy, as he looked at che
PATIENTS tongue and felt his pulse. 81
DO, doctor" returned the sick man: II
go in swimming regularly every Fo, nth
of July"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Mrs; De Society-"What lovely
baby that is we just passed" lErs. De
Fashion Yes, it's mine" Indeed -
"Oh, I'm sure of it. l recognized the
nurse
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Still alive. Uncle Reuben, l see.r-
Yes. sab; yes, sab and Use gwine to
lib annudder yeah" How do you know
that?" Why, saI', Use mos allus.
notlss dat when | lib fru de mont of
March. | lib fri de whole yeah"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Tramp--Could you please give poor
man little assistance or find him some
employment?
Gent-You can have some work on
the spot. have a heap of wood yon-
Tramp-Hum-ah, yes, III send you
the man directly. It's not for myself
L am seeking job, but for a friend of
mine.-Lesehalle.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Tramp-"Please, lady, kin l have
tit on your lawn? l feel it a-co,nin'.n
Lady-'Go around to the back yard
and have it on my daughters new
tennis court it needs rolling"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

An old bachelor says: ut is all non
sense to pretend that love is blind. l
never knew men in love that did not
see ten times as much in his sweetheart
as | did,
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Miss Bewty dramatically. MEN
never do brave deeds nowadays to
show their love for women"
MIR. Beest.--'"They don't, eh Don't
they marry them ~
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

A young mai who recently took to
himself a wife says he Didn't find it
half SO hard as,to get the furniture.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Delays are dangerous. Tax e Sim.
mons Liver Regulator in time for dys-
pepsia, biliousness, and all Diseases of
the liver.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

The young man with slende + salary
should choose for his wife a girl of
small waste.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Health is wealth. Take Simmons
Liver Regulator for all sickness caused
by diseased liver.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Don't waste your Edine on doctors
when your liver is diseased. Take Sim
mons Liver ReguIatar.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

What kind OF a world it woussI be if
all the VOID en- We're taken oEt : and
what would follow? All the mem.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

1.-The rich," said jew, ''eat vents on
because it ish deer" | eats mutton
because it ish Sheep
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Julia-"My husband is very hard to
please"
Maud-"He must have changed lots
since he married you"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

10 enjoy life take Simmons Liver
Regulator to stimulate digestion and
regulate the bowels.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

A failure in good cause is better
than triumph IN a bad one,
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
wv no said SO -

Who said so ~
Size, said sor'
well, if hes aid wot you said he Said
y@u tell hmm that | said he said wot
wuzzen'U said at all ~
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
Buy them and try they,
You can't make a mistake,
They're powerful, yet painless,
And pleasant to take.

CONVERSATION AT RECEPTION
Mr.. Smalltalk, having been introduced
to Miss Dittootoo, says: Very nice
assemblage."
VERY; are quite literary, too"
Very. You are fond of literature, l
presume
''Ah, very l dote on it,
''You like Shakespeare. dare say ~
"Ah, very much Do you ?"
Very fond of him; like Burns.
too.n
80 do L; very much indeed"
do you like Goldsmith p
every, very much. Do you like
Byron ?"
Think hes: grand. Do you like
Pope p
"Oh, yes; very much. Do you like
Shelley?'
"Oh, yes; he's good. Tell you good
writer"
"Who?"
Milton"
Yes, he's very good, indeed"
Since then Mr.. Smalltalk, in speak
| ing of the young lady, says that ''she
is wonderfully well read,n and she, in
speaking of him, says, "Oh, he has
read almost everything, | Think
DemOfeSt'S MGgGzi7le.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

No. 6. (Vestibuled Limited) has Pullman
sleeper from Basic to Washington, New York
without change, via Shenandoah Junction
and b. g. o. Railroad
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13

Blessings are not always sugar
coated. No, neither are pills-but Dr.
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets are, and they
are genuine blessings in Sugar coated)
disguise to the sufferer from bilious
ness, constipation, Indigestion and all
arrangements of the stomach, liver
and bowels
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
Christian Cooking.

1t is great thing to be a good cook.
There are few occupations of man or
woman in which they can be so useful
to their fellow men, be SO much oi a
blessing or so much of Il curse, IA TO be
an excellent or an execrable cook. We
have thought over this subject great
deal and have observed it frou. many
points of view. We do not see how i
is possible for Il person who professe
TO he Christian TO practice the art OF
cooking and yet produce Il lnlseraAiy
cooked meal The two things are in
consistent If a person knows how to
cook and yet makes wretched failure,
from Indifference or neglect, the con
.luson is inevitable tliat lie true slir-
if of christianity does not dwell in that
bu>om. We have known peop't WI o
W ,uld go TO church four times day
aud .ay their prayers regularly VIII"
would SO maItreat and dislisure il re
sprctable dinner in cooking it as to
make savages of those who tried to eat
it, and make them unfit for going to
divine service in the evening.
Even if good cooking were not mat
ter of conscience with all intelligent
servants, as with all self-:Yspf ctinS
housewives, it should not, upon pare
business principles be degraded into
what we often find it, mere make
shift for what it should be. Those who
have the opportunity of learning, and
make of themselves fine cooks have an
unfailing source of self-support, yes,
even of above the average income for
those in industrial pursuits. 1t is we'll
known that some of The finest salaries
in the country are paid to the head
cooks who serve the great hostelries of
the United States, as we'll as of the pri-
vate families of the great entertainers
and nabobs of society.
To be good cook is to have an &C
com Enlistment which every girl in the
land should be proud to own, and
which no boy should be ashamed to
confess. The women especially should
possess it, because, in the nature of
things, under our system of society,
they stay at home and govern the
house. Whether they have to engage
in the actual work of the kitchen or
not, they have to supervise and in
struct, and should therefore have the
knowledge which will enable them to
govern gracefully and intelligently and
to preserve the stomachs of the family
from ruin and their owners from life
of misery and despair.-NorJolk Land
mark.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-13
How to Bear Burdens.

And he bearing his cross went forth-John,
xix, IL.
The heart knoweth his own bitterness
Proverbs, xiv, 10.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12
CUSSED CARELESSNES;s.

BY the fendish work of some
one unknown James and John
Wilbanks recently becamss the
losers of two young horses while
third one is seriously injured.
III each of the bodies were found
charges OF bird shot, to which the
above mentioned results are at
1ributed. 1t is not at ar xange
,tth.as farGaers WId 1ot1 be l41(t MINK
ing on their farms when they are
so frequently the victims of such
cussedness or carelessness. The
term applied matters little, the re-
suits are the same. But for the
deviltry perpetrated on them by
some few irresponsible, don't-give-
a-damn fellows, a trespass notice
would not be found tackled on ev-
cry tree and fence post in the
county and everybody could hunt
when and where they pleased,
while under the present condition
of affairs it is next to impossible for
Corvallis, hunter to get days
shooting within a radius of ten
miles. Something must be done.
Every true sportsman should con-
sider-it his duty to aid as far as
possible in bringing such offenders
to justice. This should be done
not only in anticipation of the
benefits that will accrue to him as
a huuter, and will aid iu the sup
preston of cruelty to animals, but
because it is his duty to the far
mers who each year sustain severe
losses by reason of this cussed
carelessness.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12

the one On Transportation by F.
A. Cooke, of Portland. st
"Need of stronger quarintine
laws'' was the subject of an inter-
esting address by Judge. r. E.
Babcock, of Little Rock, Ark, in
which he emphasized the necessity
of immediate action OH the part-of
fruit growers in bringing. about this
much needed legislation. i, b..
A valuable paper showing ex-
tensivet knowledge of the various
questions involved was read by
Charles B. Morris, of Salem, on the
subject, "Where are we,atgH
The, election of officers was the
final business of the afternoon.
President Cardwell and Secretary
Sargent, were unanimously re-
elected. G. E. Hoskins and u. M.
Bloss were elected first and second
vice presidents respectively, and
DR.. o. P. S. Plummer comraitte-
man at-large to confer with them
OH questions of finance. The most
enjoyable event of the meeting
was the entertainment given by
the floral department of the soci-
ETY. on Wednesday: evening. The
papers read treated on the subject
of Horticulture. The music, rem
nered Was especially good and
proved a rare treat, particularly to
those residing outside Of Portland.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12

Passing few more deserted
warehouses Harrisburg is reached.
This city needs no mention here,
as it is well known as a thrifty
village on the Southern Pacific
railroad, which in the last few
years has carried her exports by'its
line. Some three or four ware
houses are at this place on the
river.
After leaving this place the boats
pass under the big railroad Fridge
and run to Junction City. Janc-
ton city has no warehouses on
this river, as it sprang into promi-
nence after the railroad was built
and steamboats, became scarce.
After leaving Junction Cityithe
river becomes more traitorous in
constantly changing channels.
Steamboat men claim that this
winter they made landing at an
orchard at that place. Whet they
returned down from Eugene but
one tree was standing, the others
having washed away in the night.
A little further on is the mouth
of the McKinzie river, an old saw
mill and a deserted warehouse.
Four miles farther is Eugene, at
one time great shipping point for
steamboats,, but since then the
warehouses have fallen down and
the grain is carried by rail. !
The difference in rates on the
river compared to those on the
railroad is quite an object to ship
pers on this deserted river, SO they
have taken the matter in hand and
have secured promise of steam
boats to reclaim the once profitable
trade. Lack of enterprise instead
of the 1mpracticability of the route
has caused the upper river to be-
come a waste of water.-Salem
Statesman.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12
MIGHT BE CONTEMPT.

The Albany Telescope says that
unless salaries are paid, the crew
of the tug Resolute will tie her
up. The author of this statement
is probably unaware that this boat
is under the Jurisdiction of the
circuit court of Benton county,
and libel suit could not be le-
gally commenced while she is un-
der such jurisdiction. 1t is proba-
bly, true that those employed in
operating the boat have lien
against her, but they have no right
under the existing condition of af-
fairs to foreclose such liens, The
court will take judicial notice of
the claims for labor and protect
them against third parties, but an
attempt to levy On property within
the jurisdiction and under the con-
troll Of this. court, to enforce. sach
laef miglt subject the parties in
qerestede II a fine tor contempt of
court.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12
QUEER IDEAS OF REFORM.

At the council meeting last
Monday night bills to the amount
of $500 were allowed. Further
than this no business of impor-
tance. was transacted. Some re-
Gently acquired ideas on retrench
ment and reform were gwen vent
to by some of the middle ward al
dermen in attempting to adopt a
motion compelling the newspaper
to accept 81 for a 81 advertise
ment. The reason for singing out
the newspapers ON which to begin
their attempted reformation is not
apparent. The item of newspa-
per advertising is such a small af-
fair compared with the large and
many expenditures of the council
for other purposes that one is led
to believe that they have strained
at gnat and swallowed camel.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12
FAVORABLE TO BENTON COUNTY

County Clerk Wilson received
yesterday the schedule of valua-
tions for Benton county as revised
by the state board of equalization
The average value of horses and
mules as equalized by the county
board was $37.66 per head. This
item has been reduced to $28.25
or 25 per cent. Cattle were raised
20 per cent, or from $3.50 per
head as equalized by the county
board, to $10.32 per head.
Swine were raised from $2.45 to
$3.50 per head or at the rate of
10 per cent. Sheep and goats
we're lowered from $1.97 per head
to $1.4S or 25 per cent. This re-
suits in a total net reduction of
$22,372 from the valuations as
equallzed by the county board.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12
1894
Ha,per's Magazine.
ILLUSTRATED.

Harpers Magazine for 1894 will maintain the
character that has made it the fayorite illustrated
periodical for the home Among the results OF ell
terprises undertaken by the publishers there Will
appear dursng the year superbly illustrated papers
on India by Edwin Lord Weeks on the Japanese
Seasons by Alfred Parsons. on Germany by Poult-
ney Bigelow, on Paris by Richayd Harding Davis,
and on Mexico by Frederick Remington
Among the other notable features of the year will
be novels by George du Maurier and Charles Dudley
Warner, the personal "reminiscences of w. d. How
es and eight short stories of Western frontier life
by Owen Wister Short stories will also be contrib
uted by Brandsr Matthews, Richard Harding Davis,
Mary E. Wilkins, Ruth McEnery Stuart. Miss
Manrence Alma Tadema, George A. Hibbard, Ques-
nay de Beaurepaire, Thomas Nelson Page and 9TH
ers Articles topics of current interest Will be
contributed by other distinguished specialists
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12

MI phAJ Vic 40 SesAN W AoV
been quite disappointment to it
paternal ancestor.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-01-12
HARPER'S PERIODICALS

Postage free to all subscribers in the United States
Canada and Mexico.