The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-07-06
APOLLiNARIS
WAITER, TWO BEERsn'
Sad Result of Attempting to Speak a
Language He Didn't Know.

Sad Result OF Attempting to Speak a
Language He Didn't Know.
From the London Telegraph.
A correspondent who has returned from
the Antwerp Exhibition, narrates an ad-
venture which befeH two Englishmen
there. He says: Two very presentable.
well-dressed gentlemen, who bore the
stamp OF EngiiShmeu in face. figure,
clothes and easy-going air, entered the
restaurant where | was sitting, and one
OF them called out in self-cOnident tones,
which could be heard easily at the neigh
boring tables, what was undoubtedly in
tended to be 'Garcon. Deux books but
which sounded, 'Gassong too bo.' 'Oui,
monsieur replied the waiter, as he
rushed into the inner room.
The two gentlemen engaged in AMIGA BILE
conversation over the table for about five
Minutes, when it struck them that the
waiter was long time with their beer.
"Gassong!" was again shouted. "Oui.
monsieur" answered the waiter. Lay
too DO, 81 VOC play" "Oui, monsieur,
tout de suite" replied the Belgian, and
once more rushed into the other apart
meet. again the two Englishmen en-
gagged in conversation for five or SIX min
utes, and again one of them shouted in
dignantly, "Gassong! lay too boz"
The waiter rushed behind the scenes
with more violence than ever, and in two
minutes returned with triumphant face
to place before the astOnished visitors
two plates Of boiled turbot. They looked
at the man and next at the fish and then,
with the help more of signs than of words,
managed to explain 10 the waiter that
they wanted beer-bOcks- not turbOt
The situation was an embarrassing one
for all concerned, and I could not help
thinking that something should be done
at home to prevent my company abroad
meeting with such inconvenience.
Decidedly something should be done
and promptly. The question is WHAT
Surely some duty devOlves on the railway
companies who nowadays induce nearly
everybody TO go abroad by remarkably
cheap fares. Could they not be got to re
serve saloon wagon on each train, and
cabin on each boat, in which a properly
certiticaued teacher could give brief les
sons in French and German to persons
whose pronunciation is defeCtive2 With
perseverance much could be done in that
way in half dozen hours, even in the in
tervals of sea sickness.
Another exactiOn is the placing of feath-
ers and veil. Only a court hairdresser
knows how to accomplish it to the queens
taste, and the queen, though her taste
may not be good, demands that her ideas
be followed to the last letter. Only a
physicians certificate entitle one to APP
pear at a drawing-room with covered
shoulders The certificate must be pro-
cured in advance and sent the lord cham
berlain, who asks the queens consent.
Often enough she refuses. IL does seem
petty, doesn't it,
Please give me another cup Of tea. and
I'll tell you how an old Scotch countess
oulwitted her majesty. The countess was
Co. tall, thin old grenadier of a Scotch
woman, very dignifed and in London
with a pretty granddaughter under her
wing to present. She begged leave TO
wear a high-necked gown The court
chamberlain asked if she were too ill to
wear low-necked one
Certainly not, said the old lady "but
| don't want to exhibit my venerable
throat to a critical world and imperil nv
good health by coming out on a raw
March day with bare shoulders. "
Nevertheless the queen forbade her to
come in a high-necked frock. So what
did the countess do but have made an I'M
usually splendid gown, cut after the APP
proved fashion, under the decollete bod
ice of which were seen the warm neck
and sleeves of stout, honest, knitted
merinO undershirt. a gorgeous necklace
of diamonds glittered on the old ladys
merlno Shlrted bosom, and heavy brace
lets on her long, well-covered arms. The
queens open establishment and anger
over the odd spectacle never abashed the
countess for a second, and so delighted
was the Prince of Wales with the old
SCotChwOman 5 calm courage that he
asked an introduction at the next roval
ball and led her out in stately quadrille.
There is one last item of expense very
often included in an American womans
list. | mean the cost of instruction in
making the courtesy. You know, there
are women who guarantee to teach one
how in a very few lessons; they charge a
pound or two for that, and in the spring
are well employed 1t is best that they
should, as otherwise great errors would
be made-for example, by the well mean
ing woman who believed it ner duty to
actually kiss Victoria 5 hand. In reality,
you know, the queens hand is never
kissed. One does it so: Extend your
hand. I lay mine this way across your
finger tips and lightly touch my lips to
the back of my own hand