The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-09-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

truth.
A receiving teller-The scandal
bearer. Truth.
Fame is surely bubble; for plenty
of "soap" will make it.-Puck.
There is little wolf and a little
rabbit in every man. -Atchison Globe.
In the grammar of femininity two
negatives make two alternatives.
Puck
Most men and their stomachs don't
understand each other. = Atchison
Globe.
Let us be frank, and admit that We
are all somewhat gossipy. -Atchison
Globe.
The fat man is an example of those
who have greatness thrust upon them.
Truth.
The difficulty in chasing men lies in
getting them started to run.-Atchi-
son Globe.
Tolerance is the admission OF the
right of other people to hold wrong
views Puck.
There is no success so sweet as the
success achieved by acting against the
advice of our friends. Puck.
"And do you think Binks can fill
the requirements of the place?" ON
m, well-if it requires Binks, he can"
Puck.
No man will ever amount to much
who labors under the impression that
somebody else is always in his way. -
Dallas News.
''Does your wife put up all her can
stuff herself?' Certainly. Self-pres-
ervation is the first law of nature. -
Boston Transcript.
Priscilla-''I want to get gown to
match my complexion. Perdita-
"Why don't you get a hand-painted
one Brooklyn Life.
He who thinks that imagination is
solely an attribute of youth should
chat while with one OF our "oldest
inhabitants. Truth.
Caller--"Your son graduated from
college this year, did he not?" Mrs.
Malaprop-"Yes; he was valetudinari-
an of his class. Puck.
There are times when the man who
thinks he fills the public eye merely
occupies the position of speck OF
dust. Milwaukee Journal
Training will do much for a man :
but it will not teach him never to
neglect to look for the towel before
he fills his eyes full of soap.-Puck.
According to Kipling, the elephant
is gentleman. Nonsense Who ever
heard of a gentleman carrying his
trunk himself Boston Transcript.
The world no doubt owes n great
many people q living; but the records
do not show that it ever has assigned
for the benefit of its creditors. Puck.
Though woman, lovely woman
| Sometimes fails TO have her way,
You can bet your bottom dollar
That she Ii always have her say.
-lniianapolis Journal.
A ten-cent box OF backing, proper
ly applied, will command more re-
spect than a hundred dollar diamond
and rusty footwear on man who is
seeking work. Washington Star.
"There is more pleasure in giving
than receiving" was the proyerb that
mother was trying to instiil into a
youthful mind. CHATS true about
castor oil, mother" was the answer
she got New York Advertiser.
1t has teen said that there is some.
thing not unpleasing 10 us IN the mis-
fortunes of our friends While most
likely this is true, yet pleasure, at the
misfortunes of our enemies, is still do
ing business at the old stand.-Puck.
Haughty Lady (who has just pur'
chased stamp )-'Must | put it on
myseli?" Postofiice Assistant very
politely -"Not necessarily, ma'am
it will probably accomplish more II
youput II on the letter. Newark led
ger.
He-'T had queer dream about
you last night, Miss Louisa. was
about to give yOn kiss, whom sud
denly we we're separated by Il river
that gradually grew AS big as the
Rhine. She--"And was there no
bridge or no boat ?"-Fhegende Blaet-
tor.
Glow many feet ought to have to
the line for this poemg asked the
young man, as he sauntered careless
+, ly into the editors Office. II hardly
know" wearily replied the gloomy
man of shears, "but if hal "a thou
sand | would gladly give them to
] 80, Atl,nka Goreff4ukinu