The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-07-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Knocked into n cooked hat-Ihe
crease. Truth.
A young man is n theory; an old
man fact. t.-Atchison Globe.
If woman looks cool on hot day,
she doesn't mind being warm. -Atchi-
son Globe.
As soon as man announces that he
is n reformer, he ought TO be arrested.
-Atchison Globe.
The baseball player would he all
right if he could only play rs well as
he practices. Puck.
Man is made of dust; and his name
becomes Mud through the watering
cart of Fate. Puck.
A mans confidence iii his own ex-
perience is an inverse proportion to
his age. Rams Horn.
Hunger is the best sauce, but when
you have no other it is fatal TO the
stomach. Rams Horn.
Women never get over tho notion
that they are entertaining angels una
wares. -Atchison Globe.
BE polite to everybody. There's
no telling when you may have some
thing 10 sell. -Atchison Globe.
A growler is n man who would much
rather sleep in cyclone than in an
ordinary draft. Galveston News.
When the last man leaves the room,
the women draw their chairs up
closer, and whisper. -Atchison Globe.
'Thus we part, wretch, and this is
the last letter from your unhappy
Anna. =. S.-More tomorrow. -
Fliegende Blaetter.
Laundry machinery really seems to
have reached the stage of perfection.
II can destroy collar in asinglo wash.
boston Transcript.
81 fall" said the boarder. frantic
nlly saving at the stoak, Ito ind a
weak point in this Armour plate. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hiland-"What a nuisance that
egotist Spudkins is" Halket--
Fright you are. He's regular Il
sore. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
II supposed that the fashion among
women OF reading the final pages OF a
novel first is due TO their prediction
for the last word. Boston Transcript.
"when you refused Freddie.
did you tell him TO brace mp and be
man?" Saddie--"No, didn't want
IN be unreasonable. Detroit Tri-
bune.
1t is always discovered, when man
is killed while engaged in some
hazardous business, that IL was his IN
tention TO have retired next year. --
Atchison Globe.
Mrs. Carson-'I hear it was runa-
way match" Mrs. Vokes-"Yes
The bride and her father caught up to
him with n preacher when he was try
inc TO escape. New York Herald.
Doctor-'Let's see, did prescribe
for you the last time you were here
! Patient-"Iet me see--oh, yesl i
remember now, for was deadly SICK
all the next day."-Boston Transcript
Beggar- Kind sir, pray give me a
shilling for my six hungry children
Pnsserby-"Awfully sorry; but I'm
not buying hungry children Just now
I've got nine at home already. Lon
don Moonshine.
BanQle-"Natur has been very
kind 90 Mrs. Bluscher. Sec the roses
ON her cheeks?" Miss B. = rival
"Yes, indeed. One must have
natural gift 20 paint like that. -
Arknnsaw Traveller.
"Did Miss Fyppo receive many
proposals while at the seashoreY
"Many? Why, receiving proposals
got 10 be n habit with her. She got
so che couldn't even hear n soda water
bottle pop without exclaiming, This
il 80 sudden I indianapolis Jour
nal.
Mr.. Dun-"But, my dear fellow,
this account has been running seven
years" Scientific Debtor --"Thats
right, old man. But you know every
atom of mans system changes In
seven years. I nm not the man who
bought tho goods. Cincinnati Tri-
bune.
The good, kind old gentleman
looked down benignantly on the small
urchin blacking his shoes. ''Now,
my boy" he said, after he hal finished
blacking his shoes, "what would you
think if gave you nice new 81
bill?" The boy. down ON all fours,
cooked his head mp Mt his prospective
benefsctor. 81 guess I'd think you
wanted ninetv.hye cents change" he