The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-08-29
Anaersnts guteltigeneer ~,
WE'D BY WIRE.
STORY OF AN ELECTRIC MARRIAGE.

w ILL D1 w lRE.
STORY OF AN ELECTRIC MARRIAGE
"Ms; L; Leary, are you a married
man p
every, sir -,
every Why do you say very ?"
"Because my dear little wife ane
T are bound together by wires: "
''Latimer Leary, you talk enlg'
mas"
"Then, sir, to be plain as primer
I will inform you that was married
by telegraph !"
"You don't say 2"
eyes, I do
"Then tell the company all about
it"
"I will, with pleasure. Ladies and
gentlemen, my wife is a second cou.
sin, and is also Leary. She once
resided in the city of Indianapolis,
while I was resident Of Centerville,
in the same State. Twas bachelor OF
30, but full of romance and general
love because I had not made con-
centration. :,
"eWhy don't you take wife ?
was continually buzsing in my ears.
Whom will take 2 said [. To this
query a score Of my friends would
say, Your relative, Kate Leary.'
"'Kate Leary? Why, she is my
cousin
"'Only a second cousin, they
would retort, and your opposite,
Latimer. Kate is a blonde, and you
are as dark as Erebus, or the ace OF
clubs
"Ihad never seen Miss Leary; but
this continual association of the young
lady with my welded life had an in
fuence.
Gone day member Of congress ex-
claimed:
"'Mr. Leary, we're I single,
would assuredly pay court to your
magnificent cousin. AS I am married
and you are my best friend, 1 ear
nestly hope you will possess the lux
ury.'
Having discharged thieving clerk, ]
was SO confined to my store that a
Journey to Indianapolis was out OF
the question. I was growing wild to
see one whom all praised and 80 many
wished me to wed.
seIn a few days from the call of my
legislative friend, his brother, noted
judge, appeared at my store. The
Judge was also my devoted ally, po:
sition intensified by his recollection OF
being educated by my deceased faith
er.
ssDrawing a photograph from his
coat, said he, I wish to show you
something nice. There, what do you
say 70 that 2
s'I told him it was absolutely en-
charting.
This, my dear friend, is Miss
Kate Leary, the lady I wish you tc
marry
!s'Tell me- exclaimed 1, lis she
is she aEHhsvsclaim: for her ?
ss'MyAeasfiis6d honestly as / val
uei truth, I have not heard her sufh
ciently praised.
st'Why don't some man try hi
luck ?''
s'I am glad you asked. Simply
because she is overcourted and con
sequently hard to please. She is ro
mantle, and, you clearly see, not win
nable by ordinary methods.
You say she is very particular {?
"stShe is, sir.
Then goodbye for me.
g 'ssNot at all she is rapturouE
over your likeness, and sends her cou
sinly love, with an invitation to visit
her. I pledge you I omitted not
single good point in your body, calibre
or character.
Z "'So you consider her photograph
accurate 2
"'I can tell you it don't fatter her,
She has extraordinary beauty, and the
kind that is more striking in anima,
tion or conversation
while mutual friends in Centre
vile were lauding my fair cousin,
mutual friends in Indianapolis were
loud in their eulogies of me, and pre-.
pairing her mind for an alliance.
"I am not gelf-conceited. Believ-
ing such concord to be born Of an OBJ.
yious fact, 1 settled on the idea of
marrying this wonder in beauty, soul
and accomplishment.
''My intent was quickly confirmed
upon hearing that very wealthy and
influential banker from Gotham was
in the melting mood. l remember it
was at midnight. I limited from m y
store the last batch of chronic loun-
gers, and selected the best stationery
in my establishment. I was to write
my first letter to Kate. 1
"From all that had passed, a fine
style was easy. I always Aattered
myself on my syntax, and will uln:
egotistically affirm that my missiVe
was at once tender, audacious, digni-
fed, wild and intense. 1t struck her
like an electric shock; The banker was
out of competition, and your
humble servantwas master of the sit
uation.
"Such reply as received Well
you must see-you shall see it. ]
have good gas works, but I am made.
quate. In a brief time We learned
that each knew the other we'll. This
much said by so many. mutuals, su.
peradded by to our photographs and
letters, made US a oomprehending
couple in fact, we confessed our
love-a full, round, ripe. and luscious
article. There could be no unsafety
in the case. Our lineage was com
mon, and every fact known. What
followed is clear-an engagement
yes, between unseen lovers and
cousins.
"I was dying to fold her to my
heart; but my solus condition and
appointments postponed it
indefinitely. :.
What did you say Why didn't
she visit one Of our friends at Cen
treyille ? L answer you cheerfully.
She was an oddity. She had her no
tions and would entertain them.