The record-union., 1894-06-27
" ANY PORT IN A STORM. !"
A Young Man Out of Work Wants
to Try Journalism.
He Refers to the Ofice Janitor, and
Also Submits Specimen of
His Work.

A misguided young gentleman. who
says he is out of employment, and thinks
seriously of engaging in study for
which he has a great desire that OF
newspaper reporting-sends the RECORD
UNION a sample of his work. 1t is given
without alteration in any particular, and
perhaps its appearance III print may en-
able the author to judge for himself as to
his ability as a newspaper writer.
The number of letters of this kind re-
ceived during the course of the year war
rant the belief that there is large class
of persons who imagine that when they
fail to succeed at any other calling, they
are about ripe for newspaper work.
The ambitious young gentleman first
referred to begins his newspaper career
by writing on both sides of the paper,
which is little less than crime, accord
ing TO the journalistic code.
:" am desirous," he writes, OF ascer-
tanning as to whether there is any posi-
bility of my receiving employment with
your paper. 1t is my desire, if such an
opportunity can be had, to enter upon
newspaper work. feel that could some
day yet, reach the height of my ambition,
that of newspaper reporter. - ~
With perfect gravity he concludes the
letter accompanying his story by referring
the editor TO the janitor of the RECORD
UNION office for further proof of his tit
ness for newspaper work. His story"
Is entitled:
THE TURN vEREIN's 'CoNIMERs," ALIAS,
BANQUET" (oN SMALL sCALE).
Everything in its proper time" This
is one of the chief principals of the
Turner. This, too, prevailed among the
Active Turner's OF the Sacramento Turn
Verein, on last Friday evening. From
general appearances, the many spectators,
who are accustomed to congregate in the
Gymnasium Room of the Turn Verein,
would not have supposed for moment
that all were soon TO be the participants
of commers; alias, High Jinks." But
this was the case nevertheless. After
the two hours OF turning and general eX-
ercising, all retired 20 the dressing-room
where hurried preparations were inn
mediately commenced for completion of
the evenings amusement. All were at
last seated around a well covered table.
First in order was the selection of Toast
Masterp; which honors were appropri-
ately conferred upon the instructor, who
was presented, upon acceptance of the
same with an iron bound gaval, such as
are familiar to the distributors of the
we'll renowned 'Gilt Edge etc. After
spIintering three or four DlankS OF the
duties. After glancing at the loose vested
subjects IN his circle (?) around the square
table, he ordered all TO eat, drink and be
merry. 1t is useless to say, not five
minutes elapsed before a general eX-
change OF vest buttons was the order of
action, which terminated in the breaking
OF all glasses in the picture frames and
windows. This however, was eXcelled
by patent fastened button which struck
the wall with such force that the entire
edifice trembled. Someone had the au-
dacity OF suggesting, that from all ap-
pearances that button was trying TO
Duttin the wall" At this, half dozen or
more, OF the better class, strangled; and
brilliant spray of Gilt Edge and Ginger
Ale was the result. All were astonished
and considered IL an act of a spray, tspree)
This caused great commotion and eX-
changing of remarks. Even the cheese
moved uneasily about under its screen.
The pressed beef fell upon piece of
bread and began lowering as it passed
the mouth OF the (elimentry) canal. The
onion was so strong that it made Itself
known from the voices of all. The pep
per declared it was very nop'; and its cold
bath ofvinegar; and could not beer to think
of it. The bologna slid over its dish onto
piece of 'pumpernickle' and declared it
never sausage q queer coin before. All in
all it was quite a treat to the participants;
but not to all parts tor oc-
casionally the beer glass would object TO
its contents and declare that it could not
beer to hold snch load and would tip
and lumber" out.
In spite of all this there was no check
to the merry making of the partakers.
Aside from the spread were songs,
speeches and several other amusing feat
ureS, among which was the rendering of
two tableaus; entitled, Gain and Able,r
and THE Landlady's Daughter" Both
created rounds OF amusement and aD-
plause. The singing was exquisite;
las "Cholly" terms 1T and caused the
performers much pain. Among The diff
terent selections were: ''Dea Wanderer."
l have "wondered' ever since, what it
was all about when l was a Student
at the Cardiz'' The performer should
have better stayed there and learned the
words in Latin: then perhaps it would
have taken less 10 remember the second
time. AS it was, lit was short but sweet"
After several other selections the order of
programme was unnamed. The restless
subjects, as now they were converted to-
rendered songs in mixed, yes very much
mixed, quartettes, sexettes. and tettes
without limit; all singing different airs.
Alter all was prepared, and voices
again cleared, the round" song was be-
gun. Each of the table would render, Tor
better, try to renderl different song;
after which all would join IN the chorus
and continue so on until the round OF the
entire table was accomplished. The
'commerse' concluded with a few re-
marks, which, no doubt. will prove of
great advantage to the future sociality OF
the members Of the Nerein. In short it
was decided to glvea commerse on the last
Tuesday of each month; at which all
members of the Nerein are cordially in
yited. The members feel quite confident
that should the next six months prove as
did the last, the Sacramento Turn Verein
will again hold sway in triumph and
pride, in the honor OF being as it was in
days past, one OF Sacramento's proudest