The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1894-09-28
SOLDIERS IN TRADE.
Retired British Army Officers Who
Act as Tea DrummerS.
Military-Looking Callers at High-Toned
Residences Are Regarded with Sus-
picion-Business and Pleas
ure Combined

11al1-DdS cOIOncIS III lnt IflllSIl army
are adding to their incomes III way
that has given life new terror. They
are acting as agents for tea companies.
This isn't reprehcnsible in itself. but
the way in which they sell the tea is. The
woman of the hOuSe--they select al
ways a rich and fashionable abode-re-
ceives card bearing the name Col.
Indoo Jaundess,'' for instance. She
has never heard of Col Jaundess. but
she supposes it is all right and flutters
down to the receptiOn-room to meet
him.
The gallant half-pay officer, with
white muttOn-chop whisl1ers and a
well-fed, carmine face is faultlesSly
attired, says a London exchange. He
bows killingly as the unwary hostess
enters Then, after few preliminary
remarks about the dullneSs of trade.
he tells her that with money at two
per cent. and Jabez Balfour in Argcn-
tina times are somewhat hard. This
she assents to. but looks Il little puz-
zled, as if she didn't quite see how this
fact should have led to the honor of a
visit from Col. JaundeSs
At this he smiles in a superior way.
and, beaming all over with happiness
at the interesting news he has to con
tide, he tells her that this is Just the
point and that the low price of stocks
has led him into a little piece of enter
prise on his own account Then, before
anything else can be done to prevent
him, he produces from hind pocket
half-pOund sample of hyson and smil-
ingly asks her to buy it and to become
a regular customer.
a pOmpOus little major, who was
drumming for tea house in this way
got into the presence of a prim old
maiden lady, who was much embar-
rassed, not knowing how to get rid of
him, and wishing not to offend one Of
SO much pretension to ''gentility." See
ing her confusion, and mistaking il for
love at first sight. the major burst out
with declaration. He said that he no.
ticed that she was of a shrinking, timid
nature and needed a protector and
how would he do? They could put
their incomes together, he argued, and,
perhaps. be very comfortable.
She noticed also that he needed a
protector. She rang for the foOtman,
who was six feet three
1t is not surprising, therefore, that at
West-end mansions particular atten-
ton Is paid To military visitors by the
servants They say that when Gen.
Roberts called upon a lady once the
butler said to her: Il asked him if he
was selling tea, mum, so as TO make
sure
At an at home" a young man was
ushered in as Mr.. Teenum." The
hostess was civil to him, thinking she
had met him somewhere, and intro
duced him to everybody! He showed
no inclination TO go, and, in fact. out
sat all comers- They We're alone.
Il know you'll forgive me-" she said,
sweetly, but I've actually forgotten,
Mr. Teenum, where L had the pleasure
of meeting you"
OH You never met me before" re-
piled the youth, coolly. The fact is.
l am selling tea of new brand, which
I'm sure you'll like. l came on your
at home day SO as to be sure of finding
you in.
Il didn't expect to have to wait SO
long to get you by yourself" he con
tinued, but now we are together, and
all those dreadful people have gone-I
thought some of them would never
leave-we can talk business.
We btCH DliliB your tea, he
proceeded. In fact. l have had at
least a dozen cups. and l think we can
beat it hollow at tuppence a pound
cheaper. You see, our firm, being in
the, etc"
But soldiers aren't the only ones in
England who go in for tea. Artists
have taken up the subject. 1t is sim.
ply trying to see at the academy tins
year how many painters have set their
caps at tea merchants by painting such
subjects as Pouring Out Another Cup
and The Old Tea Caddy That Grand
mother Used to Own" or Teapot
Talk" These works of art-Or some OF
them-are painted in the hope that
some firm that advertises will buy
them for the chrome market. Ever
since n soaphouse purchased painting
10y MillaiS at a large price artists have
worked with an eye TO this particular
chance. Such titles as ''SOapsuds iT
June" and Psyche at the Washtub'
permeate the catalogue. Overtures
have even been made to canned beef
men and Nubbins' hair restorer. Il
this isn't art, what Is 1t. then?