The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-08
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

n IiioIuhC dpO W dbbIdCt
attention to us than a virtue.-Ram's
Horn.
What caused, your bool1keeper's
downfall?' Lost his balance. "-Roch-
ester Democrat.
His honor is at steak" said the
waiter, when the judge was at dinner.
-Binghamton Republican.
-She-'Don't you think Miss Nice
is an intelleetual-looking girl?" He
'Why, no; | think she is quite pretty"
New York Ledger.
-Minnie-''Which would you rather
be-awfully good or awfully beauti-
ful?' Mamie-''Fd rather be awfully
rich. indianapolis journal.
An absent-minded Manayunk man,
who was asked to dine out the other
day, apologized to his host for the poor
dinner. Philadelphia Record.
-She-"It is rank injustice to say
that a woman is inferior to man in
reasoning powers. He-"Why?" She
-"Because. detroit Tribune
Mrs. Slasher must have been very
friendly with her next neighbor." "She
passed her without speaking" YES,
that's what made me think so.'-Inter
Ocean.
Have you met that elderly girl
that Smith has married? He says she
she is a sample of Virginia beauty?'
"a sample! | should call her a rem
nant. Vogue
Its queer, unused the bookkeeper,
as he rested his aching brow on his
hands, that when my head is in a
whirl my mind is not bit active
Indianapolis Journal
lis anyone sick over at Smiths? /
see all the shades are down and the
blinds closed" NO, the people next
door are going to have a whist party,
and it was to shut out the noise."-
Inter Ocean.
An Obliging Creature.
other night at the dance l took the
same girl down to supper three times.
She-"She was very accommodating,
wasn't she?'-Truth.
What 1 want, said the anarchist,
sis reform" 'And that" said the po-
lice justice, lis what you're going to
get, if there is any moral efficacy in
Jail discipline. Washington Star.
Ethel (weeping)-'I am SO disap-
pointed in him. l am sure he was tipsy
last night; he threatened to kiss me-"
May-"Well, there's no knowing what
men won't do when they're drunk. y
Waterbury.
Little Johnnie-''You ought to see
Mr.. Kilburn and Clara make lemon
ade." Mrs. Jones-"How do they do
it?'' Little Johnnie-''Why Clara holds
the lemon, and Mr.. Kilburn squeezes
Clara
Mrs De Pyus-''I saw you at our
church Sunday. How do you like the
voice of our new tenor?' Forte-'I
must admit that it is at least all that it
is cracked up to be.'-Kansas City
Journal.
We often hear people say of a man
that he talks like book" but if any
man talks like the conversation in
some of our modern novels, he must be
an extraordinary creature, wonderfully
understandable Journal.
Well Defined. -Amicus-"You say
that poem is magaziney. What par
ticular quality do you consider it as
possessing?" Poet-"Some quality
that will enable me to sell it for more
than it is worth. Puck.
Spoiled His Calculations.
you like the room [ gave you?" said
the hotel clerk to the drummer from
Cincinnati. Eyes, the rooms all right.
What made you ask? Do look wor-
ried?' ITO be frank, you do" "Wen,
l am feeling rather uncomfortable.
You see l came over on the S. L. o.
and w. road" Got in late, suppose"
mo, we got in on time, and now |
have about two and half hours on
my hands that l don't know what to
do with. "-Washington Star.