Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-12-13
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Lives of great men remind lis of
little episodes in our own.-Puck.
Every cloud has silver lining, but
many of them fail to turn over
Peck S SUI.
The Chinaman loves solitude Even
the soldiers seek their retreats. -
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
She-'rt takes two to make bargain,
you know" He-''Yes; but only one
gets it. Boston Courier.
If the bass drum could think, it
would probably wonder why it has to
to keep still so much. Rams Horn.
TO lose chance for a free advertise
ment is the Kansas mans idea of fu-
ture observation-disclosures City Star.
My shelf holds books o. many an age.
And many are books OF prics and lnme,
And writ on many u title-pige
Is many Il different owners name
Marriage is the hereafter OF court,
ship, and people never know what it
will be till they get there Detroit
Free Press.
We never see citron without
thinking it should be arrested for try
ing to look like II watermelon. =
Atchison Globe.
1t is said that photograph can be
taken 500 feet under water. We have
seen several that ought to be taken
there. Chicago Dispatch.
I've stu lied women sweet for years
And got TO know them so
For now just what they II do ths dears y
l know TINT don't know,
Judge
Pastor-"You ought to be ashamed
of yourself. Even animals know when
to stop drinking" Toper-"So do /
when l drink what they do. File
gende Blaetter.
One of the greatest sorrows of age
is that, with increasing years and ex-
perience, a man loses that blase feel
ing which was such pride AMI com
fort to his youth. Puck.
Kashem--" "Why don't you put
check to that fellow who is ever
lastingly dunning vou?" Bilker-
"Whatd be the use? The bank
"ooiuh p"y IT. -Duliio CoucleF.
"Hello!" said the chestnut to the
robin, "What are you?" "Pm a little
bird, said the robin. "What are
you?" ''fm little buried too"
said the chestnut. -Tammany Times.
Stuffier-'You know that girl who
refused me? She has just insulted
me by inviting Inc to dinner" Dash
away-'What are you going to do?"
Stutfer Swallow the insult. New
York Sun.
nabsenJ-minded Southwark woman
went to the bank the other duy to
have cashed cheqne her husband
sent her, She indorsed it thus
Your loving wife, Mary Miller. -
Philadelphia Record.
A man who would be indignant at
being called n grumbler will accept
without disfavor the name of pessl-
mist. Nevertheless, most pessimists
are, after all, only chrouic grum-
biers.-C Inquirer.
so you let the prisoner of on Ills
word for a couple OF days, cid you?"
asked the captain. 'I did, :" answered
the lieutenant. ''And do you think
he will come back on it or go back on
it?'-Indianapoiis Journal
why didn't you give the alarm
when you awakened and saw the burg
lars in the room?' Mr.. Nupah-"I
saw they were entertaining the baby,
and what was paltry $i0D compared
with that ?'-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Parker uses great deal OF CO.
loGne, 1T seems to me. AWFUL bad
form !" said Hawkins sit would be
IN you, said Hicks, "but it's family
pride with Hawkins. He comes OF
old coio8nial stock, "-Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Flatter George, dear, the
cook is going tomorrow. George
''Why, what is the matter with hers
| thought she liked the place. Mrs.
F.-''Ihat is the trouble. She says
she is too contented with us. Brook
lyn Life.
Everything that is done in this
house is always blamed onto me-"
shifted the small boy, AN I'm list
gittin' tired OF it. III run away, that's
what I'll do, Dos-gone if mean to
be the Lii Hung Chang of this family
any longer. ."--CiocInnati Tribune.
Stranger Would you kindly show
me the way to the cathedral?" In
telligent Native THAT is not difficult
to find. You just walk down that
street yonder, and at the farther end
you will see u small provision shop on
your left. The cathedral is exactly
Opposite. ."-Fhegende Rlaetter