davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Tnat Boy Bob"

Twas once very sweet on a pretty girl
who was unfortunate enough 70 be a big
sister to fend Of the small boy kind
The pretty girls name was Mabel, and
little love affair was progressing besuti-
beautifully when ! went, ~all in my Sun
day best," one evening to escort her to a
theatre. Before l eonld ring the bell the
small boy pulled the front door open and
popped out.
sYou Mabel's young man? - he asked,
with an abruptness that took my b;eath
away.
@Is Miss Mabel in?" I asked with
freezing dignity.
He leered at me out Of his left eye,
stuck his tongue in bis cheek snd whirl-
ed three times around on his LEFT heel be-
fore saving;
That's what she is She up stairs
riggin' herself ont too fine for anything
She's got on mas rings and Aunt Sarah's
gold chain and"
"Bob - came in sharp, agonized tones
from the head of the stairs
"And she had her fringe baking on
hairpins for over an hour, and
'sYou Robert ~ cried the voice Of BOb's
mother, but Bob went on pitilessly:
@And she's got the stunniness new
dress, and it isn't paid for, neither, and
won't pa 90 it when the. bill comes in for
the new hat. Ma says he will, but Ma
bel SAYS she don't care if ne does. Ma
bells plucky-she is you'll findit out il
she pulls off her little scheme Of marrying
you, and"
"Robert James, come up here this in
stant, is shouted from the stair landing,
but Robert James goes on plaeidly;
you've come to take Mabel to the
theatre, amt you2 l know it cause
Mabels been jawin' cause you didn't
get dress circle tickets instead Of the
front row:in the upper boxes. said I'd
tell on her cause she gave me a crack on
the head for losing the pencil she does
her eyebrows with. hid her plate that's 5
got her three front teeth on, but pa
thrashed me into giving them up before
ne went to town. Mabel says"
/ Bobs mother came hastily down the
stairs, very red in the face and very Wild
Of eye. Bob bounds down the steps and
disappears around the house, but thrusts
his head out to say:
'How sweet you are ;oh my, you dear
little thing. Better get that mustache
under cover fore the frost nips it.
Whose darling is 90 ?"
walk in Mr." says dear MabeIs
mamma, making frantic effort TO appear
calm. "Our Robert Is in one Of his play
ful moods. He is solfull Ofspirits. Mabel
is so sorry, but a sudden indispOsitiOn
/ has"
Pickles an cheese an cucumber for
supper" cried Bob, appearing az the open
window.
'The dear child has a most wretched
headache. So sorry, but you viii excuse
I her this evening
Take me instead, won't you, sweety ?''
/ asks Bob.
drag my wounded vanity away. l
am as broken and bruised in spirit as l
/ wish Bob was in the head. Mabel and
meet no more I'VE have not the moral
courage to do 50 while Bob is above
/ gtound.-I IlHkse Blade
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
introducing a Lecturer.

One Of those English customs which
would be more honored in the breach
that in the observance is that Of pre-
senting lecturer to the audience by a
chairman. This unnecessary presiding
officer, having read up on the subject,
rises to say few words Of intrOdnc-
ton" and sometimes anticipates some
Of the lecturers best points
In an English village a loquaeiOus
squire and a gArrdlous rector both in
troduced lecturer, and their FEW
words" occupied nearly all the time
which had been allotted to the lecture.
The lecturer, however, was equal TO the
OCCASION lie spoke about twenty min
utes, and then, looking at his watch,
said
"Iadies and gentlemen, must now
leave that may catch my train, but l
will ask your permission before l de
part to suggest for your consideration
an occurrence which took place on board
. snail American vessel.
The captain, the mate, and a passengers
dined together. A rOly-Poly pudding was
placed on the table, and the captain said
to the passenger
Stranger, do you like ends ?
"sNO.'
@'Oh, don't yer? Ne and my mate
does > and the captain cut the pudding
in two, giving one end to the mate and
appropriatiEg the other The audi
enee saw the point, and heartily ap-
plauded.
An EngiishmaD, temperance lecturer,
was invited to speak on total abstinence.
Being nobody in particular, he was
placed last on the list Of speakers The
chairman also introduced several speak
ers whose names were not on the list,
and the audience were tired out, when
he said ~Mr. Bailey will nov give Us
his address"
"My address" said Mr. Bailey, rising.
is 45, Loughborough Park, Brixton
Road, and l wish you all good night
YoJah's C9npaHioa.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Diagnosing From the Teeth.

A certain local professor on one oc
casion was leeturing to his class On the
means of diagnosing disease by the ex-
ternal appearance, face and ether details
of the patient Expressing his belief
that patient before the class afforded
an example of the practice in question,
the professor said to the individual:
"Ah, you are troubled with gout."
"NO, sir, said the man. "Tve never
had any such complaint.
But" said the professor, "your father
must have had gout"
"No, sir" was the reply, "nor my
mother either"
"Ah. very strange said the professor
to his class - am convinced that this
man is gouty subject. I see that his
front teeth show all the chsracteris-
tics which We are accustomed to Lote in
gout."
Front teeth p calculated the patient
YES" retorted the professor. am
convinced my diagnosis is correct. You
have gout, sir :"
"Well, that beats everything" replied
the man. ats the first time, sir, I've
ever heard of false teeth having the gout
I've had this set for the last ten years :"
London TT-Bits.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
A Touching Incident

Two little waits stood near one Of
the main entrances to the Worlds Fair
aad with startled eyes and small mouths
open wide with wonder watched the
surging crowds. They we're hand in
hand, little, slim, dirty hands and every
feature bespoke want and misery; the
bleak autumn winds swept down the
street and seemed to chill the shivering
children as they stood there sll desolate,
among that great hurryiug happy throng
4 big policeman noticed them and asked
what they wanted there. The elder one
raised his large pleading eyes 70 him
and sail a boy told Us that this vas
the great White City, and We want to
90 in "You have no money to 90 in
there, child, the officer said. What 10
YOU want in there -
The LITTLE four-year old girl nudged
the boy and whispered: "You tel jim
ME" NO, you tell" Then as she
twisted her slender fingers over AMI
over each other neryously and looked
down she said
MAS dead, and she must be in there.
She said she was going to that beautiful
city, and that me and Jimmie must 20
there too, and we have walked 50 far. Ol
please sir, won't you let Us in ?"
Then with plying heart the kind
policeman told them Of that ftr-oF city
where there mother had gone and as he
saw the look Of despair spread over the
little faces, he turned 10 brush away a
tear that stole down his bronze cheek,
and softly said, Yes children YOU may
% in" As the wondering children pas
sed through the gates into the great Fair,
he slipped 4 shining dollar in the hand
Of the small boy waif, and with bowed
head turned and walked away.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Not Honest.

The old man pondered long and
deeply.
"My son" he said atlength, in a deep,
solemn, hollow voice, @you have always
thought yourself the offspring Of poor
but honest parents"
The youth turned pale.
~Father," he gasped, "eani it be that
you are rich after al ?"
The patrizrch's head sank upon his
bosom.
Boy" he exclaimed, you have ar
rived at an age when you should be de-
eeived no longer
Leading the way to the attic, with
trembling, eager hands he removed
few loose boards and showed his child
how be made the gas meter lose a eou-
pie of hundred feet every month.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
He Picked His Men.

A prominent Methodist clergyman,
who now resides in san Francisco, tells
this incident, which occurred in a Pull
man sleeper, while riding through Iowa.
As the train passed over the State
line into Iowa, seal was put on the
liquor sidebOard in the buffet, and the
clergyman, wishing to test the enforce
ment Of the prohibition law, called the
porter and asked him if he could get a
little whisky.
"Oh, yes. sab" said the porter
"And how abOnt little wine ?" ask
ed the minister.
Il think can fix you, ssh," was the
whispered reply.
But continued the reverend gentle
man, "how about prohibition in the
State Of IOwa?"
oh" said the porter, with a knowing
wink, ~we always pick our men, sab
San Francisco 4rg0BG9,.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Something u lusual,

as medicine, IS DR.. Pierceis Golden
Medical Discovery. And, because, Of
that, there's something unusual in the
way Of ceiling It. Where every other
medicine Of its kind only pr0miIes, this IS
guaranteed. Ifit ever fails to benefit or
cure, you have your money back
It's the only guaranteed remedy for
every disease caused by disOrdered liv-
er or impure blood. Dyspepsia Bilious
ness, the most stubborn Skin, Scalp and
Scrofulcus affections, even Consumption
.or Lung in It's earlier stages, are
ali cured by it.
1t purifes and enriches the blood,
rouses every organ into healthiul action
aud restores strength and vigor- In build
ing up both flesh and strength Of pale,
puny, ScrJfalous children, or 70 inyigO-
rate and brace up the system after
Grippe" pneumonia, fevers, and other
pros.ra.ing acute diseases, nothing can
equal the Discovery"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Burned TO Death.
A Midday Bank Rob0er

BUFFALO. y Y, April 13.-At noon to-
day ten men, mostly Poles, who we're en-
ployed in the glucose works which burned
last night with a loss Of a million dollars.
have not been accounted for and il seems
almost certain that they perished in the IRE.
Waiting, weeping women, the wives Of
the men. gathered about the Office OF the
glucose company this morning. They were
mostly Poles and in broken English, or
through interpreters, inf rmed Supt. Wesley
that their husbands, who worked in the
building. had not been home this morning.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
In.eor life and Eve Years" ("

: or l. re ana We ears
The President has granted pardon TO
Henry Williams. a Texas mail rObber Of
Is79, who Was serving the extraordinary
sentence OF Imprisonment for life and i've
years. Henry Williams vas one Of 4 gang
that held up and ROBBED the Uni:ed States
ma:i in Northern TexAs in 1879. Williams
Is repentant. and, as his chief, the h0tIrious
Contrell, has been released bg commltati0n
70 a Il years sentence, President Cleveland
pardOned him
The President also pardJnei Henry d
Kone, a Texas bank cashier. convicted on
fvs counts for em5ezzlemsnt and sentenced
to Z se years Imprisonment on each count,
the terms to run cOncurenuy.
Pardon was granted By the President to
Henry W. Hord, Of Kentucky, imprisoned,
but never sentenced for the passing OF a 500
counterfeit, to which he hat plead guilty
This pardon Is uniquely indOrsed ~inas
much as It il conceded that indulgence in
drink was the cause Of the prisoners fall
the pardon Is granted on the condition
that be entirely abstain from indulgence in
intoxicating beverages FOR the term Of I'VE
wears from the date Of this pardon
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
ALITERARY ORDER.

The thought most optimistic that
D0eih cone % ne these days
Is this-and how laugh therezt-
That pcssimism pays
Why, only yesterday wrote
A poem fun OF light;
! sent il cut and &C; = note
Returning it ere night
"These lines are nice, the writer said
They show q dainty touch,
But you our paper can't have r-sd,
We think. 50 very much
This happy stun Is outof date
Depression is the the thing,
and verses now must grOwl si fate
To have the proper ring.
Declare that life Is wholly grief,
That ali on earth Is wrong.
Make Every mans fool or th.sf
The burden Of your song.
Drop glsdsomeness, drop All your mirth.
Drop sunshine ard fresh air,
And send us in ten dollars worth
OF gloom and dark despair"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
suffered WIN Dyspepsia.

Il was troubled with dyspepsia for
eight years. I could not sleep, had no
appetite, my stomach would not digest
fo)L had spent may dollars for medi-
cine but thought ! would give Hood ;
S4rsaparilla a thorough trial l have
taken eight bottles and ind myself al
cured Conrad Bonheimer, Berkeley,
Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
A Sunday School Guess.

A small boy from the slums had been
brought into the mission school and for
a couple of Sundays he had been in
structed in the rudinents. On the third
Sunday he brought with him his brother
William. To test bis memory the teach
er began to 20 over the previous lessons
"Who made you ?" she asked
"God, replied be promptly.
"And what else did God make ?"
The youngster studied moment and
looked around hOpelessly till he noticed
his brother, then his face frightened.
! @He made Bill, too, guess" he an
swered, and William said
"You bet"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Specimen Cases.

:. H. Clifford, New Cassel, " iscOnsiH,
was troubled with Neuralgia and Rheu-
matism, his stomach vas disordered, his
liver was affected 10 an alarming degree,
appetite fell away, and he vas terribly
reduced in flesh and strength. Three
bottles Of Electric Bitters cured him.
Edward Shepherd, Harrisburg, H.,
had a running sore on his leg Of eight
years standing. Used three bottles Of
Electric Bitters and seven bikes Of Buck
lens Arnica Salye, cured him entiriy.
Sold by j. y. Snyder's, Drug store.
A nlLd-rav 81 Z Rnhharu-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
BuckIens Arnica save.

The best salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises. Sores, Ulcers, salt Rbeum, Fever
Sores. letter, Chspped Hands, Chill
bIains, Corns, and all skin EruptOns,
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
quired. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect
satisfaction, OF money refunded. Price
25 cents per box. For sale by J. \. sny-
der.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Hoods Pills cure sick headache.

The Exchange Bank Of Beaver Falls, Pa,
a private institution Of Charles P Wlli4ce,
was robbed Of $ Sd a. noon Taursl1y in a
very clever manner. Mr.. Wall=cs and his
clerk we're in the ha5i; OF closing the bank
Al u O'Clock ani gljng to dinner, simply
placing the m1aey in the safe AID closing
the door witho1. disturbing ths e0m5in4-
ton. They followed this practice yestsriIy.
when thief effected al entrance by going
into the cellar uni=- the bank fr1m the rear
and cutting hole up through the dOor, a3-
propriating the above amount, which was in
3. SO. and so bills done up in packages Of
500 each, without being Observed from the
fr0at Windows The thief did not touch
tray Of change am0anting 10 sl5l, evidently
not wishing u be burssnet with the silver.
Mr. Wallace offers a reward Of third OF The
money stoieI foc the apprehension Of the
thief Tue banS Is ding basinsss as usual.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

Jason Hires, who died recently al Nun
soas. Pa vas widely known as the father
OF the oldest family Of children under the
sun. The eldest, a boy Of IS, has 5 fingers
aud Is toes. Next 10 him is another boy
10 years Old. As long as this boy is quiet,
no one would suppose that lhere was any
thing unusual ab0It him, but the moment
he opens his mouth to talk he loses ali
coatroll Of bis hands, arms, feet and legs &,
and they jerk and thrash and kick around
as if they we're hung on wires. The third
child Is q girl, who is a hunckback and q
dwarf. She Is "A years old A boy next 10
her is deaf and dumb. The fifth child has
a bright-red 6irthmark encircling her neck
Ike a strip Of red Il tnnei. Il IS an inch
wide. The other two children are twins, ,
years oid-bJy and girl The boys head IS
covered with q dense growth of hair, while
tie giri has not the sign Of hair upon her
head, her poll being as wife, bars and shiny
as a billiard ball The girl is fat ard sehe
COY lean. When the BOY cries the girl
laughs heartily, and when the little sister is
merry the BOY yelis and she Is tears.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

A maa who died in BsriI, Rsasssllsr
c0Inty, y. Y, al the age Of IS left a record
which be began when Is years old aud con-
Jinued Tor s. years. TIE box, fllei with
years the N in had snJksi 6ls rs cigars.
Of which be ressiysd 43619 a. presents.
while for the remaining - .0Jj be paid ab0ut
SO. fS3 Ia 81 years, according TO his book
keeping, he has drunk = Isl glasses Of beer
and 81 05l glasses Of spisits. for ali Of which
he spent 5 $50. The dsa-y closes with these
xold= Il have tried al. things. have
seen many. I have accomplished nothing.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

Says Harrisburg special a lOus journey
10 meet her Intended husband. whom she
never saw, was begun today by Miss Alice
Tingei, Of Saad Beech, this county. She IS
one Of the largest women in this part Of the
State, weighing SIS pounds She Is IS years
old and several mouths ag5 answered 4
matrimonial advertisement signed by Harry
Crater, OF CseIrd, Alene. Idaho. The tEO
courted BY mail, be proposed aud she ac-
csPtsd- He sent her SOD 10 pay the expenses
Of her trp West. as he could not come Est
for his intenlef bride. She s nov on the
way 10 the far northwest to meet her lover.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

The filling circular has bsel issued y
the Penasylyaaii FISH Protective As50ci4-
tiOn Fishing with ne-s or SCI lines is posi-
lively prohibited 6y the lass Of the State
Penalty. 50 fJr the 6sst oil. ass, stjJ for
secJnd odslse- Tls cl-cAils Of black bass
and wall eyed pike uudsr siz inches, and
trout and rJck bIss unIsr inches IS pro-
hib.ted Penalty so for each fish Trout
q ishing is allowed only between April IS and
July -. Penalty. 80 Jr each trout taken
out Of season. Black bazs fishing between
May - and January 1. Penalty, $40 for
each hsh takea Ou- Of ssasja- Rex bass,
same clos, season a. 0iack btEs- Wall-syei
pike, perch and SasqIsialna sa!m3n, same
close seasou A. BLACK bass. P.ckerei, pike
grass pike, mu7callJnse mast No; be spear
ell Penalty SO fJr eaea All every 0fense.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

The luscious bivaiye is evidently Mary
lands oyster. ofthe 100000 bushs Is Of
oysters produced in the world each year
nearly 100000 bushels are natives Of
the United State and more than lLO)o,-
600 bushels come from Maryland waters
The value of Msryland's annual product
is nearly $6.O00,0O0, that OF the United
States about sl6. 6.6OO, 600, and that Of the
rest Of the world little more than sl3,-
500 OOO
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Now Try This.

Il will cost YOU nothing aud viii sure
ly 10 you good, if you have a cough,
cold, or any trouble with thToat, chest or
lungs. DR.. Kings New Discovery for
consumption, coughs and colds is guar
anteed to give relief, or money will be
paid back. Sufferers from Ia Grippe
found it just the thing and under its use
had a speedy and perfect recovery. Try
a sample bottle at our expense aud learn
for yourself Just how gooi thing il IS.
Trial bottles free at J. y. Snyder's Drug
Store. large size 5Oc, and sI00.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
A NARROW ESCAPE!
How if Happened.


The following remarkable event in q lady's
life viii Interest the reader: For a long time ]
had a terrible pain at my heart, which fiut-
tered almost incesSantiy. i had no appetite
and could not sleep / would he compelled
10 sit up in bed and hclch gas from my stOm-
ach until thought every minute would he
my last. There was a feeling Of oppression
about my heart, and Was afraid 10 draw d
full breath i couldn't sweep a room with
1ut sitting down and resting; but thank
Sod, by the help Of New Heart Cure ali that
+ past aud / feel like another woman. Be-
fore using the New Heart Cure | had taken
different SO-,salled remedies and been treated
by Doctor, without any benefit until / was
both discouraged and dlSEusted. Nv husband
bought me a bottle OF Dr. Miles New Heart
Cure. and am happy to say | never regretted
f., as l now have d splendid appetite and
sleep well. | weighed Is pounds when ! ae-
gan taking the remedy, and now weigh ID :.
Its effect In my case has been truly marvel
Gus. II far surpasses any other medicine ]
have ever taken or any benefit / ever re-
reiYed from physicians Mrs. Harry starr
POffsyllle, Pa, October p ls.2.
DR.. Miles New Heart Cure j. solo on n po-i-
tive guarantee by all druggists or by the ir.
Miles Medical Co, Elkhart, Ind. on receipt Of
price 81 per bottle, six bottles =, express pre-
paid. This great discovery by an eminent
speciallst I'm heart disease. contains uclsheI
Opiates nor dangerous drugs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

The Supreme Court has decided that
sgsr beer is not 4 spirituOus liquor.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
Head and Arms
Seemed on Fire
a SunStroke Followed by
Nervous Prostration
Hoods Restored Health.

&C. I. Hood & Co, Lowell. Mass:
Gentlemen On August 10, I was taken 10
St. Joseph's hospital unconscious from the
heat; my temperature was l0oo. remained
In the hospital two weeks; was unable 20
work for four weeks after that but then
felt compelled 70 turn in, as have a wife
and fse children. ] soon began 10 feel as
though undergoing continuous shocks from
an electric battery.
Every Nerve and Fibre
Of my body seemed In 4 constant state Of guiy-
ering agitation and tremulOusness. Heat
flashed from the calves Of my legs up
through my thighs and body; my left arm
and hand felt IS though on FIRE, and my
head acLed as 10 i would split when
stopped down. l had great pains in my
back around the base Of the spine I con-
uuuti t9 stick - nay work. feeling that
If / must again 80 down would DO 50
Struggling for My Family.
have always been athletic. but I had lost all
appetite. All, my strength failed me; l vas
on the point of giving up I had read much
about Hoot's Sarsapariila, and concluded %
give il trial Before ! had taken half
bottle MY appetite became 50 vGrlci0us that
would lie compelled % elt between meals.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25

Hoods Pills cure al liver lis. constipation.
til0usness. j-uEGiee, sick headache Indigestion
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
StruggIing for Ny Family.
Hoods Cures

Hoods Sarsaparilla has now fully restored
my strength and general health That terri
BE nervousness Is entirely gone. I feel as
hearty and Iigoruus as ever. "a pains in
my back iige CIeItiy Gecres.>- + sRD
SCOLLIN, l.s-2 Ogden Street Iiii@d- . --.-i.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
GENERAL DEsiurTr. Etc. ZIG.

Is-es bottles. SO cents per bottle. Sold BY
dr1ggists generally, on sent u any aadress q p
osiPt q 50 oeats.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-04-25
4, somerset Herald.
rsr.susHfO ''aT
r.rrns Of Publication.
-r.s,osis- morning a 9 %

ms of publication.
-. ers7 wednesday morning al = GO
a--,fssia IN advance, Otherwise 8 50
-rrasbly Be charged
= .-.s,, vii be discontinued u1t1 all
I'D I'D. PosmEstez negiecti1g
srhsa sabsoriben do not take oct
49, -rl b. held rsspOnsible foi tie sub
-. raovisg rom one POs'onee %
- rs-e us the name o. the former
. ne u-sssui O1ee- Address
Tn soxKEET HERALD,
SoxERsET, Pa