The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1894-04-19
Another Bundle Of Local Splinters.

Breast and be hurled at US. They
Are merely local splinters, and are
intended for you to read and digest
without the aid of patent medicine or
cuss words. IT they fis, wear them
if they don't, don't. If they are too
jagged at the ends, stand aside and let
them pass; if you won't stand aside,
then provide yourself with good pair
Of pinchers, as you may need them.
John Lindamood now pulls the bell
cord over Bob Bailey's transfer line.
Twas in Geep vale
Shut out by old pine trees,
Where the rertumigated essence
Was waited. on the breeze,
And-er-a- er-
Oh pshaw poetry's no more our
calling than is a house cats caterwaul-
ing; so we'll "take a tumble" to our.
self and lay our rhyme.thoughts on
the shelI--ior future reference.
Some humorist has said hat tone
of the pieosantest things in life is to
scrstch where it itches." At thought
of this the heroic little chigger rolls
over in delight at the tons OF pleasure
he is to afford the present picnic sea.
son. Thoughtful little creature.
Nat SimerIy-like Napoleon was-is
invincible. He lugged two more EN-.
isrants to town Friday, and when the
trio entered the city they seemed t6be
struggling, one against the other, to
see which could neareSt approach the
look which the advent OF spring iuva-
riably lends to all the foliage of the
earth.
There is nothing happening now to
change the appearance of business or
the monotonous, humdrum state Of
Johnson City. Then how in thunder
can body furnish news when there
is nothing to make it? Do something
Get up dog-fght, run loot-race, OF
get marriet, but don't kill yourself be-
cause you can't; we don't like to
write shy of the truth.
That "two heads are better than
one," even though one must invaria.
bly, be called "punkin head" is most
clearly proven by Messrs. Hodges &
Bell since associating themselves to-
gether in the printing business. They
have rugged up and have in operation
unique and simple though useful
stereoptyping machine in their Office
1t works satisfactorily and fills a want
often felt in an Office even in q coun.
try town. Climb on, boys.
There was scarcely any work done
at all in Johnson City last week. Bar.
ring pig-pen built by Wade Patton
he foreman of this Office, on last Sat,
urday afternoon, we don't know Of
anything being done to indicate i'm.
provement on the part of the town
You are lucky to have the pig, Pat
and you will be thrice lucky if you are
not put to the necessity of tying 8
knot in its tail to keep it upon the ID.
side OF the pen until "hog-killing time
rolls round.
We lent a fellow our pipe the other
day. He was to "bring it up directly"
He borrowed it at o'clock and re-
turned it at II. This is one case which
is very like unto the consultation OF
doctors over the condition of q patient.
They put their heads together for a
time and each one suddenly discovers
it necessary to consult medical work
before he can bring about a safe con-
clusion. While they are doing this
the patient dies, unless he concludes
to live in spite of their efforts to kill
him. See?
We told you, Uncle Wilburn, in last
weeks COMET to beware Of Demo
cratic snags" We didn't think at the
time that you would 80 soon be con-
fronted by any snag at all but it
seems that there is one in your own
party which sticks out rather promi-
nently, and if you don't run against
it provided with the necessary tenders
you are liable to bark your shins.
"Harv." Kilby stands six feet in his
natural state and seems to be known by
everybody, and it is said that he pro-
poses to snag somebody in the race for
constable,
Poor Breckenridge! The women
are after him They are in arms
against him right and left 1t is said
that cincinnati girl" will now step
up to get bite of the plum tasted by
Madeline. And then the house may
take steps looking to his expulsion.
For the sake of humanity, give the
man breathing room and a chance to
meet the issues one at a time, If the
women all leave and go in pursuit OF
the colonel, the children at home may
go unspanked, an attention which
Madeline seems not to have been paid.
1ono lean lank. Waller doro carnn