Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-05-17
MODERN JOURNALISM.
The Adj sanccd Class Gives "a sample of villa
II Gan DO.


The Adj sanecd Class Gives "a sample of What
II Gan DO.
Recitation room Of IA college. which in
| cludes instruction in the bright, brainy
and breezy journalism OF the present day.
Enter professor and class:
Professor-Mr Wagear, are you prepared
with your suicide?
Wagear-Yes, sir.
Professor-Please outline it.
Wagear (reads)-Thirty-eig caliber re,
volver clinched tightly in his right hand.
No cause assigned for the rash act.
Professor-How do you refer to the sui
eide HIMSELF
Wagear-As 1.-The unfortunate man"
Professor-Correct In the second days
notice YOU should say that among the
neighbors rumors are rife of a love affair"
Wagear-Should not also say that re
mains will be inferred in their last resting
place tomorrow"
Professor - Certainly. Mr.. Frenzyeye,
have your corrected your murder in accord
ance with my instructions?
Frenzyeye-Yes, professor.
Professor-Givc us the ending of it.
Frenzyeye The deceased appeared to
have met his end by blow from blunt
instrument Foul play is suspected The
police are reicent, but they are believed to
be possessed of important clews. Bad blood
is believed to have existed between the dead
man and his twin brother"
Professor-Very good. Tomorrow you
may diagram the mans henhouse. Mr.
Youngfellow, what is a fad?
Youngfellow-A fad is anything which
happens more than twice
Professor-Would n series of sandba2-
gings be fad?
oil
stitute carnival Of crime unprecedented
in the history of the police department"
Professor-Mr Dickybird, how would
you speak of heavy snowstorm?
Dick bird--As n 'veritable blizzard, " sir
Professor-Give the opening for the ac-
count of Il collision in which no lives are
lost
Dickybird- YESTERDAY serious accident
was narrowly averted at"-
Professor-Very well. That will be suffi-
cient. Mr.. Callowlad, how do you begin a
sentence containing nothing out of the Or
binary?
Callowlad- the words oddly
enough"
port of burglary.
Callowlad-"Shots were fired after the
retreating miscreants."
Professol-Is other journalistic Use ever
made of shots?
Callowlad-In a shooting affair the man
fired at either returns the shots" or seeks
safety in flight" Shots also ring out"
and startle the inmates of the building"
Professor-How does runaway horse
proceed?
Callowlad-He "dashes wildly"
Professor-A cable car over which con-
troll has been lost also dashes down hill
wildly, suppose?
Callowlad-No, sir. 1t brushes down the
steep incline with terrible velocity"
Professor-Nery good. Mr.. Gocart, you
may tell the class how the bright, brainy
and breezy journalist refers to people
Gocart-Painter Smith, Ash Collec: or
Jones, Cab Driver Robinson, Stonemason
Brown, Insurance Broker Thompson.
Professor--Under what circumstances are
all women beautiful?
Gocart-In court and by telegraph.
Professor-How is woman married, and
how does a man present his idea to the pub
lie?
Gocart-The woman is married quiet
ly," and the man prepares a statement"
Professor-That will do, Mr.
Gocart-You told me to look up the con
dition OF farmers after rain.
Professor-True; l beg yourpardon. How
do you find them?
Gocart-,Jubilant
Professor-Certainly. Mr.. Ready jaw, are
you prepared with your political outline?
Readyjaw-Yes, professor.
Professor-Name the friends of the polti-
cal journalist
Ready jaw" Prominent citizen, "'a lead
err high in the councils of the party" and a
well known western senator who does not
wish to be quoted
~, II
ence between u statesman and q politician
ReadNjaW-A statesman belongs to our
party; a politician belongs to the opposite
party
Professor-What are the followers Of the
statesman?
Ready aw-Earncst workers for the cause
of good government.
What are the followers Of the
politician?
Ready jaw-Henchmen.
Professionalism do the earnest workers
obey?
Read jaw-The call to duty
Professor-What-d do the henchmen obey.
Ready jaw-The behest Of their party
boss.
Professor-Correct. Are there other names
for henchmen?
Ready jaw-Local henchmen are heel
ers." Taken as a whole, especially at con-
vention time, the body of henchmen consti-
tutes cohorts"
Professor-How does one Of our speakers
handle the opposition?
Ready jaw-He scores them. A seceder
from the opposition is "bitter" and speaks
Of them bitterly"
Professor-W When you interview Il man
and he cannot answer certain question,
how do you begin his reply
adyjaw-Well, suppose l should be-
gin it, II don't know" or II cannot say as
to that"
Professor-Tut, tut, Mr.. Readyjaw.
am surprised at you. All, Mr.. Futurefake!
Futurefake--He should begin it, That
cannot say"
Professor-Righ;, Mr.. Futurefake You
have studied your lesson. He ought also
by all means work in the phrase much
chagrined," and begin his last paragraph
with, You may put me on record as stat
ing that in my opinion it is time to call a
halt" Mr. Readyjaw, you must master
the A 3 C Of political writing in the bright,
brainy and breezy school if you ever expect
to make your mark in that Girection.-New
York Tribune.
Almost Square Meal.