River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-07
PHI AND Po,NT.
Prudence and industry are the best
safe guards against bad luck. Rams
Horn


Prudence and industry are the best
safe guards against bad luck.-Ram's
/ Horn.
-Clara-"oh, have so much to say
tc YOU" Maude-'And to YOU. Let's
/ 20 TO the opera tonight. "-HarlemLife.
- don't believe that horrid Miss
Bolton would stop at anything" Bob
Did you ever try her with soda
| fountain? '-Inter-Ocean.
Wear your learning. like your
watch, in private pocket: and 90 not
/ pull it out and strike il, merely to show
that you have one. Cotton.
FOR a parent to punish child in
any other spirit than that of compass
+ sion for the offender. is to kill some
1 thing good in both hearts Rams
/ Horn.
| "A Wild Guess. -Jupiter-"of the
women of your acquaintance who have
married. which are the happiest9''
Juno-"The dead ones. Detroit Free
/ Press.
-George you think you could
ever learn to love me-" Ethel
might after some time see the queen
is learning Hindustani at the age of
seventy
The Ideal don't see
why a womar's husband is never her
/ ideal?n Juno-"No? Well, it's he
cause the ideal is always the unattain-
able. Detroit Free Press.
| From the Barracks.-Sergeant
ION account of two short days of ar
rest that fellow makes face like a
zebra whose stripes have been washed
away. "-Fliegende Batter.
-Visitor-''Is your employer out?"
Smart Office Boy think he is, sir.
Hes been in his private office for three
hours playin' poker with Col Ken
tuck. philadelphia Record.
"A Rare Education.-''Does your
| daughter sing?" asked Mrs. Gingle-
| gilt" NO" replied Mrs. OLDHAM. I'VE
have taken great pains in educating
her not not tO."-Washington Post.
My son. if you are flush, associate
with the well-to-do, for they are not
/ likely to borrow; but if you are broke,
keep on good terms with the poor, for
they are more willing To lend.-Puck.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, ser
man flattahs hisself dat he's feelin'
sympathy wif de unfortunate. when
hes jis drorin' comparisons. and con
gratulatin' hisself Washington Star.
Professor of Astronomy-''Ca any
one tell what the milky way is?"
| Tommy-"Please. sir, | don't know
what it is. but think it was caused by
the COW jumping over the moon.
Philadelphia Record.
Change into extremity is very fire.
| auent and easy. As vnen a beggar
| suddenly grows rich he commonly be-
comes a prodigal. for to obscure his
former obscurity he puts on riot and
( sxcess.-Ben Jonson.
! Her Adorer-"May ! marry your
! laughter, sir?r Her Father-''What
10 you want to marry for? You don't
! xnow when you're well OFF," Her
Adorer NO, perhaps not. But | know
when you're well off. "-Tit-Bits.
Police Captain-'What is the mat
Ter with you? Here you let fight go
On in saloon for more than half an
1 lour and make to attempt to stop it. :"
/ officer McGobb-''Sure, soP, Oi fought
I was the primary upstairs. "-lndi-
inapolis journal.
/ will the Time Ever Come?-Spatts
-"What is your idea of the millen-
alum. Bloobumper?' Bloobumper-
MY idea of the millennium is the time
F,hen one man will accept, without
hesitation, another's explanation of
aow he got that black eye. Puck.
In the Rail-Car.-Proud Mother
DO see how baby laughs every time
The conductor calls station" Cynical
Did Bachelor-"H'm probably the
yoUng one thinks the conductor is in
sulging in baby-talll. 1t does sound as
mich like that as anything. boston
!