The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-05-26
AMONG TIE WITS.

Weary Waggles-..Why don't ron
Sit down?" Dreary Draggles-'So i
don't have TO get up. Halo.
Few things are irnpracticable In
themselves, and it is for want of APP
plication, rather than of means. that
men fail of success. -Rochefoucauld
1T was pretty stormy last night +"
"Yes; and as / was late in getting
home and my wife was waiting up for
me l found it stornier inside THAI
| out-"-New York Press.
Wisdom
| There was a woman in cur town,
| And she was wondrOus wise:
| She cut her cloth to make her gown
| Exceed the sleeves in size
-Harper's Bazaar.
-Buggins--"DidW ilwag swear when
his wife played the two-spot instead OF
taking the triek?" Muggins-''No; he
simply told her she was playing the
deuce. "-Philadelphia Record.
| Whatever became of that grey
hound you had?" Killed himself
"Really?" Eyes: tried to catch fly
on the small of his back and miscalcu-
lated. Bit himself in two.'-Tit-Bits.
Been vaccinated yet?" .'No,"
! said the athletic girl. I've not. /
/ can't quite make up my mind whether
| to give up my Indian clubs or my BIZ
cycle for awhile. Indianapolis Jour.
| nal.
That's the kind of weather profit
| for me-" mentally observed the mer.
chant, calmly charging 4 customer five
dollars for two-dollar umbrella one
rainy morning day or two ago.-Buf-
falo Courier.
Mike ION the road)-"How fur is il
to Chistnut Hill, sir?" Native-"Aboui
five miles. Whom do you want to see
therc?" Mil1e-''Faith, I'm anxious to
see mcseP there befoor night "-Phila-
delphia Record.
kept Hind Away-Bingo-''H
did my wife look at the reception yes.
terday?" Witherly-"Eleg Why
weren't you there?" Bingo-''Didnt
have any decent clothes to wear. De
troit Free Press.
DIR. Thirdly-'I am glad to hear,
my son, that you refused to fight Will
lie Shipper" Johnny-"Yes, sir. it's
wicked to fight. and then WilIie's IA
Their is tailor. and besides he's bigger
than lam. Kate Fields Washington.
Loving Mother-'I can not under
stand what makes our boy. Robert, SC
fond of pedestrianism. Fond Father
''He gets that from me. Didn't | walk |
the floor with him for week when he |
was a baby?"-St Louis Post Dispatch. |
-Mother-"Walter, see that you
give Beatrice the lions share of that |
banana" Walter ''Yes. mamma !
Beatrice - Mamma. Walter hasn't |
given me any" Walter-Well. that's 1
all right. Lions don't eat bananas -
Brooklyn Life.
complimentary She heard |
him plead, yet hesitated. Speak" he
persisted. She bestowed upon him
searching glance. Speak, pray you"
VERY we'll" Clearing her throat. she
recIte1 with great fire: "Curfew Shall
Rot Ring Tonight Detroit Tribune.
Little Dot-"Mamma, I was play
In with your best tea-set while you
were away, an when you bring IL out
for company you'll be shocked, cause
you'll think one of the cups has "A hair
in it; but II isn't hair" Mamma
"Wha. is IT." Little Dot-''It's only a
crac!-''-Harlem Life.
Uncle Silas-"It's queer how some
fellers gets on" Martby-"Wha;'s
happened nowP" Uncle SiIss-''wby,
that old fool Tompkins is maxim a
great stir down in town. Only beer
there two days an the paper says the
green-coods men gave him gloriou,
eeptiou.-Harper's Weekly.
-iiicIes-"They tell me that Russell
is making quite mark as journal.
ist." Wicks-'.Hes is. indeed But /
then he has such . wonderful memory. |
Wy. let imam talk 10 him for two
minutes and HBssell viii remembei
enough Of what the MAI said 70 I'll
column Boston Transcript