davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
Arrival and Departure q. s. Mails.

south bourd mail closes 5:i5 p. m.
South bound mail arrives 6:iS p. III.
North bound mail closes 10 a. m
North bound mail arrives 1920 a. IN.
Night nnils are closed at $50 p. IN.
Monev order department is opt n
II II. M. and closed al 5p. IN.
ONCE hours frCm a. M, TO p. IN.
sundays from $50 p. m, to $3.50 p. IN.
JoHN ;. liAMMEB, =. NJ.
SUMMERS IlAnpY, Deputy.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
CHURCH DIRECTORY.

CuntsriAN Cuurcu-- Frcnslcy Street s"r-
Viccs every Lords day at II % a. m. and = ~
= n sunday School, $50 a. m. Prayer
Meeting every odneadny 8 ~ y. IN. Choir
practice tNcry friday evening. IS y. IN.
Ladies AID society every Iu, soay afternoon at
ihe church, 3 y. IA. Mi,c ami social meeting
every tuesday night AZ place announced each
LORDS day. unicers' meeting hret Lord 9
dag in ,gcn month. All are cordially invited
TO all services. I Mason, Superintendent
sunday SCHOOL, Nolnty Johnson, Pastor.
FfRsr BAPTisr CurRCu--hroadway Street.
Services every sunday at II 10 IA. m. and Od
y. m Prayer Meeting "Wednesday evenings
AZ o'clock SUNDAY School at 10 u. m. Choii
practice Friday even nss ut o'clock. &.
stub bit Held Pastor. g. II. Bruce, Clerk. q.
I'm, Superintendent.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25

IL don't believe that aunt Of mine
knows she has u moustache. solilo-
euized young Sroonamore, "snd it's
been right under her nose for the
last twenty i've years"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25

Little Dot Isn't papa rich7
Little Dick-les, everybody says so
Little Dot-Thcn why does he say
he wants me to learn how to earn
my own living when | grow up'
Little Dick--So some QUO will
marry you. l guess
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
tsrog.

Grog, a mixture OF spirits and
water, was so called from Admiral
Vernon. a distinguished British
sailor lie always wore grogram
coat and was called "Old Grog" by
his sailors lie introduced the ration
OF spirits into the navy bill of fare,
and the mixture at once received his
nickname
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
ArtistlcllIy Handled.

"Did you hear about young Dart,
the china paintor?"
"No; what is it?"
"lle has been served liko his own
china
"How Is thata'
ellis wife's father fired him"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
An rnc,pcctnd Pleasure

Miss Winslow-l'm very glad you
called. Mr.. Walker.
Mr. Walker-Oh. thanks, aw.ully.
Miss Winslow. more enthpsias-
tically--Yes, am so delightei TO
have seen that beautiful dog OF yours
-Truth.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
TIME TABLE.
Gulf, Colorado and Santa Fo R'y.
SOUTH BOUND.

galveston and Chicago Express i.4S n. m.
Cleburnr and Kansas City Express 2.l7 p. IA.
NORTH BOUND.
,}alvcston aud Chicsgo FNpress le 90 q. m
Clcburne and Kansas City Express gl7 a. mi
|. II. mason, Ticket Ag't.
W. ). hEENAN, Jcn Pass. Agt.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25

Ardmorc Chapter No II. Royal Arch Ma
SONS, meet IN ueir hall over Wilmington =
store the fourth 1hursdaY night In each month
q. II BuUCE. III sh Priest.
4 ID sILLIAiAN. SecrrlarY.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25

Arlmore Camp No. ~, wOodnen of the
World, meets Ia their iorcst at Warrington
Ilull every second and fourth Monday nightr
in each Iuonth. Visiting Sovcreigns invited 20
attend.
q. u. krSDrrCK, consul commander.
GEOuGE HEAD. clerk.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25

Arlmore Lodge No. 81, A. T. and 4. NJ.
mcrts in thcir hall on South ,nddo stee-t. the
Frst SgiutdiN night la each month. on or be-
fore the full mJOI.
n u. FLOW, Worsbipful Master.
\ II. SILLINNN, Secretary.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1894-08-25
CIVIC SOCIETIES.

Myrtle lodge No !, X. of r., meets every
house, Court street. Nis,tins Knights cor
TALLY invited.
=. r. UowETn, X. u. n ;.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Inventions for the Baby.

The ''Baby's Exhibition TO be held
IN Humphreys Hall, Knightsbridge,
during the month of June, will deal
with exhibits bearing upon the food,
clothing, medicine, furniture and pleas
,lres of that very important perspnage.
The show will be divided into five
heads, the first dealing with food, diet
cites, beverages, medicines and disin-
fec1ahts. The second class includes
clothing of all sorts for infants, juven-
lies and mothers. The third is devoted
to nursery furniture, and is Of compre-
hensive scope. comprising wall papers,
CRATES, baths, filters, etc. The fourth
class will be one Of great interest to
th@ youngsters themselves-toys books,
games, gymnastic apparatus, hail carts
end &c cking horses being ranged under
this head. Miscellaneous specialties for
household use will occupy class ). The
scheme is calculated to embrace all
that can possible tend to alleviate the
woes of infancy and enhance the pleas
tres Of that period Of life, alleged for
the most part with the troubles Of
teething. The price of admission is to
be fixed at price so moderate as to
render the exhibition useful to all class
es.-London Daily News.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Instructive Chinese Games.

Curator Stuart Culin, Of the Univer-
sity Of Pennsylvania museum, who has
gathered together, the finest collection
Of games ever made in the world, has
made an interesting discovery IN his
study Of the Corean sports. The Chi
nese games are all marked by a literary
character, the game Of logomachy, or
Word-building, which has gained such
popularity in this country, having been
played long ago by Corean school-chil-
dren. "A number of their games,'' he
declares, chad their origin from mys-
tic concepts. Many of the childish sports
had originally a serious divinistic or
expiatory significance, was played by
the people Of villages and districts to
ascertain which would be the luclzier.
Kites were used as scapegoats, being
released with inscriptions to the effect
that they were carrying away misfor-
tune. Mere toys We're not numerous.
Some Of the games possess a decidedly
ethnic character, and their study prom
less to furnish conclusions Of some i'm
portance. Pr Philadelphia Record.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
The Two Kittens.

The once idea of a learned woman,
angular, absorbed, unmindful either of
the decorums Of social usage or the
charms of dress and manner, has long
since given way before a better &C
quaintance with our fascinating women
scholars, artists, professors, physicians,
architects and ''divines' In fact, so
completely changed from "all that"
primitive notion as Moliere himself
would admit, that he could no more
write 'Les Precieuses Ridicules'' of
any professional woman here than he
could his Tartuffe written for all time.
1t is an open secret that within one of
the women's clubs in Philadelphia are
two ladies who are known to one of
their intimates as "the two Kittens"
They are so playful, so graceful, so
apparently unstrenuous in their casual
conversation, so dainty, so thoroughly
bewitching in their gayety. And yet,
upon one of these ladies will the uni
versity this spring place its dignifed
degree" and upon the other has long
rested the dignity of a presiding Off
Ger, with all the rules of 'torder'' and
parliamentary procedure at her finger
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07

ANY CHANCE FOR ME, LULU!
find out at once that when my late
husband, Robert Venning, died, he
only left ten thousand pounds behind
him, and not the ten thousand a year
with which the society. and trades
people have chosen to credit me-
And so, with crinkled brows and a
slender forefnger that licked off each
victim to Mrs. Vennings' charms as
he came in view, the prettiest and
most popular woman in town passed
before her minds eye such men as
by their station or fortune, could
alone save her from social and finan-
cial humiliation.
The earl OF Wessex she had openly
snubbed month ago, and only a
week back his engagement to a Chi
7cago porkpacker's daughter had been
announced. The Hon. BERTHE Short
house was nice boy, and his pros
poets truly grand; but he had been
very wild on his own account, and a
marriage with him might scarcely be
satisfactory-from the point of view
OF the clamorous tradespeople. The
SouAS uohe Ol w OOuIOrO was highly
eligible, but the old duchess, his
mother, kept a sharp eye on the lad,
and had openly expressed her detesta-
ton Of widows. The bishop of Bar
chester was rich and well-preserved
man, but oh! so prosy and so dread
fully intolerant of the ways of the
world. And so on, through endless
strings of moths who had futtered
round and burnt their silly wings at
the flame of Mrs. Venning's bright
eyes. ....,- ,...... 49,.
Suddenly she paused, blushed deli
ciously, and then laughed at herself
for doing so. ...s
"1t's dreadful thing to do" she
said, passing her fingers lightly over
her burning cheeks. 81 don't know
how such an idea could ever come into
my head"
She opened the blotter, drew some
dainty monogramed paper toward her,
and taking pen began hastily to
-scribble few nalucs across the sheet
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07

small satin slippers, the while the
owner of drawing room, tea gown and
shoes dabbed angry tears from her
eyes with fragmentary lace pocket
handkerchief.
What shall I do? Whatever shall
I do?" cried Mrs. Venning, as for the
hundredth time the marqueter
writing table barred her progress and
turned her footsteps back to where
the carved mantlepiece positively
groaned under it's load of Dresden
china, old worries, fresh roses and
bibelots of every description. She
crossed the white fur rug and, paus-
ing, gazed with a self-pitying smile at
the pretty profusion that met her
eyes.
She froWncd little before she
turned again to the writing table,
where the silver and gold knicknacks
were hidden beneath piles of papers,
those of a blue tint predominating
ooh, how l hate you ALP she cried,
shaking a white fist at the offending
documents. How wish I could burn
you all, as I have so many of your
predecessors; but I dare nou-I dare
not!''
She dropped into the writing chair
and leaned her chin, dilnpled and
round as a baby's, III her palms.
sit seems to be about six thousand
pounds that horrid people want from
me. | can't make it any less. and I've
added everything together a dozen
times. Of course, know have beef
eXtravagant-bu then, I'm young
and-not bad-looking' (which was
Mrs. Venning's way of considering her
undoubted beauty, "and widow
into the bargain. All widows are ex-
pected to be so very smart nevada Us.
Still, the tradespeople should not have
given me such unlimited credit. All.
that's the real root of the whole
matter. The credit system is the
ruin of women, who, like myself, must
have pretty things about them. These
horrors and she fickcd at pile of
dunning letters with her handker-
chief, ''would wait if they heard / was
about to make a rich marriage. A
rich marriage--now let me think who
will do
And Mrs Venning laid her beiew.
eled finger across her eyes and gave
Eerself up to serious thought.
''fd throw the handkerchief at
Raphael Gluckstein in moment and
l know he'd positively jump at me, for
the sake of my visiting list and the
country houses I stay at, but that he
would want to pry too much and would
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
lNvENTfNG GREAT MEN
The Money Value of Popularity ana
of Ability.

= nS NIOncy " OF popularity and
of Ability.
Plato was, on the whole, q GREATER
man than Mr.. Rider Haggard, bit if
he We're alive now, he would not make
so much: money by his books. Jbsen
seems likely to die con siderabIy poorer
than the late Henry Pettitt as far as
money is concerned. Great p1liloso-
piers and poets are apt to starve be-
cause, since their wares arc above the
heads Of the public, there is no demand
and, therefore, no price, although the
commodity offered is very scarce and
precious. But when the ability is of
sort every one can appreciate, OF,
above all, that can make money OF
cure illness, there is no lack of de-
mand. +
Sometimes there is no lack of supply
either; for instance, in a modern city
the policemen, the fremen, the sewer
men, are supposed to save property.
life and health Wholesale, yet their
ability is to be had without stint for
24S Il week OF Whereabouts. because
the supply is large. Not so the supply
Of popular painters, novelists, dramat-
lists, consultant physicians, special
pleaders and directors and organizers
OF industry. I say popular rather than
able, for the public is often a very bad
judge Of ability.
For example, there died q short time
ago barrister who once acquired ex-
uaordlnary celebrity as an Old Bailey
advocate, especially in murder cases.
When he WIS at his zenith, I read all
his most famous defenSeS, and can GER
tlfy that he always missed the strong
point in his clients case and the weak
one in the case for the prosecution,
and was, in short, the most homicidally
incompetent impostor that ever bullied
a witness or made 4 moving" but
useless appeal to jury. Fortunately
for him, the murderers We're too stu
pid to see this; besides, their imagina-
tons were powerfully impressed with
| the number Of clients of his who were
hanged. So they always engaged him,
and added to his fame by getting hang
ed themselves in due course.
In the same way 4 surgeon will get a
reputation as the only possible man to
consult in cancer cases simply because
he has cut off more breasts than any
one else. The fact that in all the pro-
&essions there is one first favorite
llIcdHS 10 more tIlau Tile TACT lllaC there
is only one editor of the Times. It
is not the man who is singular, bit the
position. The public imagination de-
mands a best man everywhere, and if
nature does not supply him, the public
invents him. The art of humbug is
the art of getting invented in this way.
Every generation invents great men
at whom posterity laughs when some
accident makes it aware Of them. Even
in business the greatest regulations are
sometimes the result of the glamor Of
city superstition. I could point to rail
way chairmen reputed indispensable,
whom the shareholders and the tray
cling public might with great profit
and comfort to themselves send to
st. Helena with a pension Of $4,000
Il year.-Fortnightly Review.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
This here amt hardly got the frost
thaWed out of it.u-Detroit Tribune.
Paying a Compliment.

Dibbs (who has been waiting in his
friends studio)-Ah! here, you are at
last. Your dog has been paying a good
compliment to that bit Of scene-paint-
ing. l had to drive the little beggar off.
Dauber agreeably surprised What
was he doing?
Dibbs-Oh, he mistook that river for
real water, and he started tapping it!
By-the-bye, what river does it repre-
sent?
Dauber (savagely)--River be hanged!
Ihat isn't a river, it's prairie fire!
Where's that dog? -
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
WILL THE OCEANS DRY UP2
A Theory That They Will, Though
Not for Many Ages.

Not for Many Ages.
This is purely 4 scientific question,
at least one requiring an answer from
scientific sources There seems to be
a modicum Of truth in the statement,
perhaps, just enough to relieve if from
the charge of boldness or rashness. A
writer in the Manufacturer and Builder
several years ago addressed himself to
the answering Of similar query to
that propounded by 'Theo," and he
assumed that students Of geology were
forced to the conclusion ''that by nat
ural causes in constant operation the
water of the earth is gradually disap-
pearing, and that, in the course of
ages to come. it will have entirely dis
appeared. There are two principal
causes for this phenomenon, one the
gradual union of the elements of water
with the various bases and silicates
to form what are called hydrates, COM
pounds in which the water is chem
ically bound in the solid state; and
second, the gradual absorption of the
water by filtration through the more
or less porous crust into the deep in
terror, a process that must be taking
place constantly, and which in time
will be sufficient Of itself to cause the
total disappearance of the surface
water Of the entire globe These con-
siderations seem very plausible, and it
is difficult to contradict them by argu-
ment.
1.-The process Of sinking cannot pro-
coed to any great depth until a tenn
perature will be reached sufficiently
high to vapOriZe the water, and thus
prevent it's further descent, but the
heat thus impaired to the water will
be by it impaired to adjacent bodies,
and it's conduction to the surface and
radiation into space will be thereby
slowly, but surely, affected, and thus
the heat of the earth's interior will be
gradually lessened, and the water from
the surface will thus be enabled to
penetrate ever deeper and deeper. The
density Of the interior mass consti-
tuting the earth is not much greater
than that Of granite, and the penetra-
ton of the water therefore would not
be greatly hindered by the density of
the interior mass; but even if the mass
were of much greater density than it
is known to be, the influence of the
capillary attraction would suffice to
permit Of the soaking of water through
masses of extremely high density.
Such considerations as those involved
in the answer to this question have
only a certain scientific interest The
periods Of time that must elapse be-
fore the happening Of the event are so
enormously long as to be quite incon-
ceivable, and ages before it's consum-
nation the conditions prevailing on the
earth may have become such as to have
rendered tho eXiStanca Of life On o,1r
planet impossible. Brooklyn Eagle.
She Heard Him Say Something.
He passionately)-I love you'll love
ycu!-I love you!
She from Boston)-I beg pardon.
what did you say Truth
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Lifting Power OF Plants.

In testing the lifting power of
growing plants and vegetables Gan
experiment made under the auspices
Of the United States department. of
agriculture) it was found that COM
mon pumpkins could lift weight Of
two and half tons.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Colossal Check.

Mister, will you give me cents?'
what for?''
Il want to buy a loaf of bread for
my starving family
Certainly will
'Oh, thank you. sir. Now if it isn't
asking too much, will you give dime
mOre?'
What fOr?'
Il want to buy some meat for my
dog
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
A Big Failure ana Its Results.

Banker discovering 4 burglar in tE
act Of opening his safe)-Hold on! VIVA,
are you doing there?
Burglar-Don't make such 4 row, old
MAJ; 1 only wanted to see if my de-
posit was here all right; nobody can
trust his banker Notwithstanding
blatt.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Had Reason to Be Positive.

Editor-What makes you SO positive
you are competent to act as a critic Of
modern art? Ever paint any?
Feminine Applicant promptly
but worked as a Turkish bath attend.
ant for over a year.-Buffalo Courier.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
4 Thief Rewarded.

+" A thief in the act of breaking into
safe was greatly astonishcd on look
ing up to seea gentleman quietly watch
ing his proceedings. IIc tried to es-
cape, but the gentleman stopped him.
Go on, my friend," he said, II am
greatly interested in your work.
How is that??" inquired the aston
iShed thief.
Because 1 have lost the key to this
safe. If you can open it you shall be
We'll rewarded for your trouble.'-
Harlequin.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Suffrage Again.

Il have no patience with you, John;
you are utterly unreasonable about it.
Women should have the same privileges
as men everywhere. I don't think it's
very polite of you, either, to sit there
with your hat on while I'm talking to
you standing up"
"You are enjoying a mans privilege,
my dearr'
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Proof Positive,

Admitting Mammal don't think you
have quite caught the expression of
Evangeline's nose.
Artist-Madam, Raphael couldn't do
better than that
Admitting Mamma-Why not?
Artist-Because, madam, Raphael is
dead.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
BRIGHT PRODUCTIONS OF TIE
HUMORISTS.

Amusing Incidents and. Witty Say
ings-A Good Digestion for a Hear
ty Meal-The Best of the Current
HumOr as Cleaned from the HUI
mOrOus Papers.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
No False MOdesty.

Lady-This is the second tine you
have received food from me, isn't it?
Trlmp-It is, madam; and you are at
liberty to mention the. fact to your
friends, if you wish.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
He Takes the Odds.

"Drap dat watermillyon, Jeems; drap
dat millyon. Don't yer know dat de
cholery is in Europe?"
mo; is dat a fac'?"
"An' it's gwine ter come heah."
us dat sop
'It is fur fac, an water millyons
I'm de wrlsscst kind Of fruit to tring
OH de chOlery. Ham dat millyon oba'
heah. Use done had re cholery wonct,
an amt afeerd."
Don't folks hab lie cholery often?"
''Nebber but wonct. When it strikes
Il niger he's mostly dead de fust clat-
ter
Don't it kill dem as don't eat wa
termillyons?"
Eyes. it do, but it's wusser on dem
as eats de fruit. If We had de water
millyon habit We STAN ten to one to
die"
"Well, Uncle Nose, Use jess nada up
my mind ter take de odds. Han back
dat millyon!'
A Telephone With "Sofys'xsn 1t.
A well-to-do but uusophisticated
farmer from one Of the border counties
was in London lately and brought with
him his wife and daughters to see the
sights and do some shopping. Among
other places they visited the Diapers
and, after wandering around for a
while, the party came to a stop near
the elevator. IS ~.' ...s.:
One of the daughters was the first
to discover the elevators moving silent
ly up and down, receiving and discEarg-
ing their cargoes of passe lgers. She
pulled her fathers coat sleeve, and in
a tone that was audible to the clerks in
the neighborhood, asked:
whats that, paw-that thing going
up and down with sofys in it?"
''The old man gave the elevator
long, calm, scrutinizing stare, end ex-
claimed: ..s -.
"True as you live, it's telephone!
The first I ever see!'-LOndOn Figaro.
How He "WorlSedp' the Waiter.
The mild hammered man tried, for a
few moments, to transfix waiter with
his glistening eye, but his hypnotizer
seemed to be a little out of order, and
finally he had to beckon to the mental,
who softly approached
Excuse me- said the man, .but do
you use gas or coal in the kitche1.?''
'Use gas said the waiter.
1T is paid for by the year, isn't it?''
"B'ieye it is
Don't cost no more whether you
burn whole lot or just a little, eh?''
"Jist the same, sab. .
''Then since it won't put the house to
no extra expense, wish you would
bring me cup Of tea that really is hot.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Dental Note.

II want this tooth pulled. just can't
stand this any longer
but, my dear sir. I am not u dent.
ist"
What in thunder are you?'
Il am an oculist. I attend to the
eyes, not the teeth
"Well, that's all right. Get to work.
This is an eye-tooth that's bothcring
me-
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
a Popular Amendment,

In the gardens of certain noble
mans country house there were fixed
at different spots painted boards
with this request: please do not
pick the flowers without leave. y
Some wag got paint brush and
added 'ssn to the last word. London
Tit-RitS
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1894-06-07
Those Needless Questions.

.'Hullo! what is Uncle Silas taking
little Tommy into the woodshed for?''
Hes going to take little Tommy on
his knee
$40 spank him?'
ooh, no; Of course not. To tell him
funny stories. ''-Harper's Weekly.