davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
An ArcIic Sony Bird.

Ut has often been remarked that
there is no music i'll natures solitudes
of ice. Fl. w. Glider who accom-
panied the sledgc expedition of 1879
through Great Fish River and HAYES
River region, alludes with some feel.
ing to the one little living scrap of
song that he met there, and the strug-
gle it cost him TO lay violent hands Oh
tho only species of Arctic creature
that has a tuneful voice.
81 shot two of an apparently distinct
species of snipe, . he says, ''to pre-
serve their skins for the Smithsonian
Institution collection. One was dis.
tinSuished by n sweet, simple
song, somewhat similar to the lark's.
its silvery tones gushing forth ms if III
perfect ecstnsy OF enjoyment of sun
shine and air, Mt the same time rising
and posing itself upon its wings
SIT seemed almost inhuman to kill
the sweet little songster, particularly
rs it was the only creature I saw in the
Arctic that uttered pleasant song.
All other sounds were such ms the
scream of the hawk and the gull, the
quack of the duck, the yell of the
wolf, the 'oof, cot! of the walrus, OF
the bark of the senl-all harsh and
unmelodious, save the tones of this
sweet little songster. Nothing but
starvation or scientific research could
Justify the slaughter of one of these
innocents.
81 believe shut my eyes when l
pulled the trigger of my gun, and 1
knew my heart gave regretful thump
when 1 heard the thud of its poor
bleeding body on the ground. New
York Dispatch.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
When an Elcpllant is Crazr.

When we present the elephant in
possession OF such intellectual gifts rs
may be his, there has to be considered
the case of the elephant that, being
must" is for time bereft of its
senses. 1t is>only the male that suf-
fers from this affection of insanity;
but every male is Liable to it some
timo or other, and, unfortunately,
may ba attacked by it without warming
OF any kind.
Some men of long experience of ele-
phant keeping say that the "must'"
condition is preceded by premonitory
symptoms, and il taken in. time may,
by diet and ~treatment, 30 averted
but, without presuming to contradict
those better-informed people, can
aver that [ haveknown some of them
to be taken by surprise by the sudden
"musting" of elephants under their
own Immediate supervision.
Some elephants become demons of
cruelty when Unjust" as, for example,
Il commissariat elephant that, during
my time i'll Oudh, broke away from
Che Lucknow lines and went over II
considerable tract OF country, killing
men, women and children wherever it
found an opportunity of doing so.
do not remember the total number
killed by that beast, but it WINS sadly
large. And, of course, valuable MS the
animal was TO the Government, only
one course could be pursued i'll regard
to ii. The sentence passed upon it
was that of death, and tho execution
was carried out. not without difficulty
and danger to thu executioners, by
several Europeans, who followed and
shot 1T down. Blackwood's Magazine.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
His Throne Room is the Kitchen.

In the Laos States, between Siam
and Tonquin, dwells very easy-gojng
Chinese Prince. Otto Ehlers, the
German traveller, has good deal to
say about this eminent ruler. He
leaves the chief cares of State to his
wife. He takes interest in cooking.
1t is a pity Brillat Savarin could not
have lived to visit him. He has had
his throne removed into the royal
kitchen, SO that he can receive visitors
while he watches tho preparation OF
his meals. His subjects are content
with his administration. They espe-
cially admire the Democratic spirit
manifested in his choice of u throne
room. The dynasty, however, does
not promise to be long one. West.
minister Gazette.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

! George Martin Lane ret res from nc
tive work as Professor of Latin Mt
Harvard, after forty-threo years OF
service, announces the Rochester Post
Express. He will receive m allow
ance of $4,000 year MS Professor
emeritus" and may teach if he feels
inclined. Professor Lame was moi e
man much talked about, and the pub
lie knew little of him compared to
men of much less scholarship. but Iac
more advertising capacity. In all
probability he knew more of his spe-
cial subject of study than any Other
living man, and he had way of teach
ing that brought the life of the pres
emit age into contact witt: thu deal
past and kindled flame of interest in
the clash.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

1t is reported that the French Min
lister of War has decided that tbs
canned goods for the use of tho army
must hereafter be OF French manulac-
ture. The cost of the change to the
Government will be, it is snid, 1870 per
cent. additional, and it will he ncces-
sary for the department. to ask for an
increase OF appropriation. Hitherto
most of these goods have been pre-
cured from this country. The Ar
mours, of Chicngo, who have held large
contracts for supplying the French
army, say that they have heard moth
ing of such decision, and are not iu-
clined to believe it. 1t is said that
such IN order would make very little
difference with their business, any
way. They would still continue To
supply the goods, which the French
contractor would sell at the advance
price by changing the marks OH the
packages.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

Much comment has been caused by
the almost simultaneous publication
of the views on the increase of ncr-
vousness by DR.. S. Weir Mitchell, of
Philadelphia, and DR.. William Erb, OF
Heidelberg, Germany. Both these
eminent experts declare that nervous
diseases are beginning to appear MS
hereditary complaints, and that fully
one-fourth of the deaths in the Unitcl
States and i'll Germany arc due to col
lapse of the system induced by nervous
exhaustion. Perhaps i'll this country
the greatest factor in producing ner-
vous diseases among men is the habit
of beginning business life too early,
and among women the custom of over
taxing the mind in school mud ne.
glect of proper physical exercise. This
subject is we'll worth careful con-
sideration by parents who wish to see
their children enjoy useful and hap
by life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

Tho Reynolds Corliss engine that
furnished the power for the intra-mrral
railway ut tho Worlds Fair made II
somewhat remarkable record. 1t never
stopped once for repairs during the
continuance oftho Fair, though it pro-
PEELED thirteen trains of five loaded
cars ench continually through the day.
The engine was watched working for
twcnty-three successive hours by Il
committee of award, whose members
satisfied themselves that though run.
ming Mt rate of 100 revolutions Il
minute, its speed did not vary one per
cent. even when its load was suddenly
reduced fifty per cent GA few years
ago, snys the Engineering Magazine,
"such an engine would have been I'M
possible.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
-AND YOU'LL RHmLApER mE."l

Ono evening rs tho sun went down
u Among tho golden hills,
Aud silent shadows, soft and brown,
+ Crept over wales and rllls,
watc led the dusky bats awning
+ Dip down tho dusky lea; 80,
Hsrkcning, heard a maiden sing,
. "And you'll remember me-"
"When other lips and other hearts,"
Came drifting through tho trees
"In,langunge whose excess imparts,"
Was borne upon the breeze.
All love is sweet and hope Is strong,
And HES summer sea.
A womun's soul Is in her song:
"And you'll remember me-"
Still ripping from tho throbbing throat,
With JOY akin TO pain.
There seemed n tear in every motto,
sob in every strain;
Soft rs the twilight shadows creep
Across tho listless len,
The singer sang her love to sleep
With you'll remember me-"
-Cy wnrman, in Now York Sun.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
-yon viii be mine, my darling, for.


"Wcll," sail Ralph Gray, when
Mark Darlington had told him the
story of his adventure Mt Aberenllyn.
just week had sped since his abrupt
thrush after sentence by DR.. Gibney.
You ought to consider yourself a
lucky fellow"
He said it with shadow of dissatis-
faction on his face, as if he were not
wholly pleased with the turn OF events.
81 do, Ralph upon my honor ]
do"
"Then / take it for granted that you
will keep to your word and claim
Claudia this time next year"
why, certainly, said SO. Dear,
dear, how gono was upon her, to be
sure"
"Wasl"
"Don't be so confoundedly sharp
on fellows tensag. meant 'am,' of
course. And now, fatal I'll be of
to the club.
Ralph smiled rather bitterly.
AS for Mark, no sooner was he in
the street than he clapped his hands
to his side.
"By iove!" he exclaimed. "Only
think, IL she is in the habit of making
an annual tryst with her lovers at her
granddad's grave! What n novel stun
tion-there's grit i'll it. The dear,
eaioling little chit with her melodious
sibillations I'm glad 1 have her
photograph; it would be pity not to
Keep her memory green in me for
awhile. London Black and White.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

In n recent article in the North
American Review upon "The Outlook
for War in Europe" Mr.. Archibald
Forbes, the well known war CORE
spondent, has compiled the statistics
OF the war strength of the dual au;-
nnce-France and Russia-and Of th.
triple alliance = Germany, Austria
and Italy. AS the figures are CON.
piled from official sources, their pub.
LEGATION will be valuable for reference.
The strength of Russia is 2,411, los
officers and men, 463, 900 horses and
52O0 guns; of France, 2,7l5, 600 o.
ficers aud men, 10000 horses and
$500 guns. The war strength of Ger.
many is 2,440, 900 officers and men,
562, $50 horses and 4430 guns; of Aus
tria. 100000 officers and men. 299. :
600 horses and 2140 guns; of Italy.
1923, 200 officers and men, 1874, 900
horses and 1920 guns. The total war
strength OF the dual alliance is 5, 1875, :
700 officers and men, 1903, 900 horses
and 97OO guns; of the triple alliance.
5,287, 200 officers and men, 9Ss, 159
horses and $3.50 guns. The war
strength of the triple alliance in.
fantry, therefore, is superior to that
of the dual alliance in officers and
men by 160,495. while it is inferior
274,S50 in the number of horses and
1910 in the number of guns. The total
forces available by both alliances in
war, field troops only, is 1o,A3, 9o5.
The gross population of both alliances
is 272, $50, 462.
-
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
THE TROUBLE.

A sentimental American girl was
down Mt the American steamship pier
the other morning just after tho boat
had come in, and saw young woman
sitting beside her trunk, which the in
spectors were examining the very pic
ture of despair and detection.
"Ah," said the romantic girl to her.
SELF" she has probably had an unfor :
tunate love affair, and her lover was
left abroad. 1 will show her my SIM
pathy."
"Were You crossed in love? she
said, i'll sympathetic manner, MS she
walked quietly up to the girl.
"No, returned the girl, "but crossed
in the City of Paris, and nh swfully
rough passage !"-Philadclphin Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
BOSTON FRtGID1ry.

Miss Backbay (of Boston)-'I find
it difficult to keep in my mind the
thoughts that occur to me-"
Miss do Paque (of Chicago)--
t'Pshaw! Why, we've always Ind the
notion that cold storage would do
everything. PUCK.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
WHAT, IN A NAME.

Little Ethel (setting tho dolls table,
tive haven't anything but one
pieco of lady finger to put on"
Little Dot-"Well, we won't call it
n dinner, we'll call it luncheon.
We've got clean tablecloth and lots
OF silycrware, you know"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

A New York Judge Inns taken the
trouble to decide that child has MS
much right in the street as an adult.
The general impression has been, re-
marks the Washington Star, that
small boy in thoroughfare mad all
the rights of grown person and
good many beside.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

Canon Body. the famous English
preacher, has stopped calling his con
gregation clearly beloved" or "my
dear hearers" or brethren" when
speaking from the pulpit. He nd-
dresses them MS gentlemen. Tho
innovation has provoked considerable
comment and criticism in England.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
coNpoNEs EyERYru1xa.

Tho Hack Writer preparing q
biography Of eminent modern men)-
"How shall 1 handle this manP I've
got to praise him, md they say lie
drinks like fish and doesn't pay his
debts"
The Publisher--"That's oasy. Just
say he Inns the artistic temporal
mont. Chicago Record
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
NOT THE FAULT OF HIS nEAnrNo.

A lady entered Boston street car
one day, and gentleman arose and
politely gave her his sent Something
seemed to trouble the gentleman, for
he shortly bent over and snid, .I beg
pardon. madam, but did you say any
thing?"
"No, sir" answered the lady, curt
ly.--Lifc.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
A NEW SPELLING.

"Xylophone," said Jimpsou, 'be-
gins with nh \, but it ends with v. F"
GLOW do you make that out?" asked
Grigss.
well, of course you admit the X. y
"I do"
"Well, my boy got Is Xylophone
for Christmas, and 1 had to give him n
v to stop hammering ON it"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
PARADISE FOUND AND LOST.

Hotel-keeper This pamphlet you
have written for me, Mr.. Scribe, is Just
what I wanted, and I cheerfully pay
your fee of $50 You have made il
out n paradise on earth. If you would
care to spend week here. / shall be
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
NOT NAL DE ,lER, HOWEVER.

81 received magnificent tribute to
my skill the other day at the exhibi-
ton"
"Whnt WIS it?''
"You know my picture, "a Storm Mt
sen?' Well, man and his wife wero
looking Mt it, and heard the man sny,
Come on. dear; that picture makes
me sick. '"-Boston Home Journal.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
COHsoLING.

Bad Boy-"Come out and play"
Good Boy--'I can't. Mamma went
down town, and said 1 mustn't go out
till she got back"
Bad Boy--"You needn't bother
about her. She'll get run over by a
trolley car before she gets hack.
Everybody docs. New York Tcle.
gram.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
A BOOMERANG JEST.

s'I write poetry" she said, tiufdiy,
to the editor; 81 thought maybe, you
would be willing to give me trial on
your paper.
"a trial." he said. in facctious tones,
really, now-I am no judge"
"You mean, OF poetry" she said, as
demurcly; 81 guessed US much by
reading your paper"
And then she aoated out rs bash
fully as she came. Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
BUSY.

Mr.. Rusher- els the doctor in?"
Office Boy-"Yos, sir; but he's too
busy to see you. There was chill
dren's party next door yesterday, and
he told ME to say that he has his
hands full and will see no one. p
Truth.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

"Afiss Polly" stammered the young
man, blushing violently. sMiss
Polly--do-d'ye-do you think you
could learn to-to-to lovo me--in
time, l mean, in time, OF course, Miss
Polly?"
''l'm afraid?" answered Miss Polly
reaectively, "thnt can't do it in
time. But 1 might in eternity"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
TROUBLE IN PARIS.

M. Worth's Assistant-'I am grieved
to say TINT Madame Van Bank, of New
York, has ordered creation from
Felix"
Monsieur Worth" Morbleu I do
not understand it. And we have done
everything possible to please TINT
woman Isit, perhaps, that our prices
nre no. high enough to suit her?'-
Puck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
SPRING CLEANING.

Tho wife-"John, these carpets
must be beat"
The Husbnnd-"Why, my dear,
when bought them the dealer told
me they couldn't be beat. New York
Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
A SAD NOVICE.

"Ioung Timmins will never get along
rs n reporter" said the city editor to
his assistant.
"What makes You think so2"
"He left Cox Bluflins's name out Of
his account of reception because the
Colonel had said he didn't care to have
it printed. - Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
EXPECTATION SURPASSED.

Parker --sI have received very
gratifying news of my son who re-
Gently went to college"
Barker-"Yes? What news?"
Parker--"He's alive"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
William II. on His Traycliny-Tl


William III. is the first monarch of
Europe who has appreciated the value
OF American methods of travel. and
has 80 organized his tram of cars that
he can move from one end of his en-
pire to another not only without ,1er-
sonal fatigue, but under conditions
that enable him to transact State bust
ness as satisfactorily as ii he were in
his working room Mt Potsdam or Ber.s
lin. The Chicago Vestibule Limited
finds it's counterpart in the Germen,
imperial train, which may be said IN
have doubled the capacity for work
of monarch mainly criticized be.
cause of his superintendent enerov.
People who find fault with the En-.
peror because, MS they say, he is Der.
petually rushing from one corner Of
Europe to the other, forget that it is
not he who does tho rushing, but the,
train of cars under him. His life
meanwhile. is as placid and method.
ical as one could wish, but where bis
grandfather was satisfied to Know =
man through awritten report, WillianSSr
Ii. prefers to see that NOV face to-
face. Harper's Magazine.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS sI1ErcHEs FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Bobby's Wish, Forcgone Conclu-
sion-3Iaking tho Punishment
Fit the Purse Spring CIcan-
Ing, Etc, Etc.

{ wish that brel were rs sweet and nIco
AT tho dinner table 10 me.
As It seems when ask In vain for slice
At quarter-past two or three.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
A FoREaoyE coNoLusIoN.

"What do the physicians think OF
the ossitied mani"
They think he will remain ossi-
fod?"
"rhen lie is likely to die hard. -
New York Press"
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
DANGEROUS WHEN HE ATE CHEESE.

Sam Pemberton, who had been in
his younger days captain OF n whaling
vessel, was invited with his wife to
take ten at neighbours, and during
the meal some one passed the captain
plate of cheese, whereupon his wife
became much agitated and exclaimed:
"Sam Pemberton, you be very careful
how you eat cheese; you know how
have to suffer when you dol" All who
were seated about the table were cur
ious to know how it was that Mrs.
Pemberton should suffer when MIR.
Pemberton ate cheese, and SO the cap
tain explained after this manner:
"I'll tell ye what Marian meaus.
Ye see about week after I'd left tn
ship, wo we're visitin' our daughter
Jane down i'll tn city, an one night
we he'd for supper some cheese er good
deal like this, and ms ike cheese,
ate quite er lot on it. Wall, after I'd
gone ter bed L he'd TIL greatest dreepza
you ever heerd tell Of L dreamed
that was aboard the oil ship nm there
cum up eech er storm as We never see.
l see there wasn't but one thing ter
do, SO I yelled ter tn furst mate:
'Heave over tn bow anchor! Wall,
he tried, but somehow he couldn't do
it; whereupon sprung and yelled;
Stand aside, we land ubber. an see me
heave it, and after Juggling q good
deal over it went. But would We be-
lieve me, tibet oil bow anchor begun
ter holler: Sam Pembertonl Sam
Pemberton, what be yew cr-doin' Off
Thet walked me up, an what dew ye
s'pose I'd did?
"Instid of throwing over the bow
anchor, I'd pitched Marian out of bedi'
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03

glad to have you. and will make no
charge"
Scribe-'sThanke. old man; but Id
die in this hole in twonty-four hours.
-Hnrper's Bazar.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
MAKING THE PUNISHMENT FIT THE PURSE

The Police Magistrate CT fine you
s1r."
The Culprit-" your honor,
amt got only SI.75."
Tho Police Magistrate "Then
fine you 4.75."-Chicaso Record.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
A Search For a Romance.

ANN L "a NLiNo-
ton was i'll dis
tress. Tint WAS
one reason why
he took II han
s o III straight
from the doc.
tors to Ralph
Gray's rooms
in TIL O A l.
b n IL y. II C
knew or might
Ii avo known,
TINT it WINS inst.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-08-03
MIR. JIMs,11rH nEpuLsEs Az AGENT.

Mr.. Jimsmith, tho lawyer, whose
name is household word in Cnicngo,,
recently moved into beautiful sub
urban home. He is highly pleased
with it in a general way, but so many
agents call upon him that he finds 1T
rather bore. The other day he
opened tho door to twelve agents be-
fore the afternoon wns hnlf over, and
when he was summoned to the door
for the thirteenth time he was mad
enough to fight herd of porcupines.
A tall, sad-eyed man, dressed in black,
confronted him anl started to say
something, but Mr. Jimsmith inter-
rupted him: 4
"Yom don't need to tell me WHAT
You have to sell, because don't wanS'
it; L don't need burglar proof clock,
nor n bootjack that has music box
in it, nor STEM winding can opener
I DON'T"
"My dear sir, you are mis-"
"Oh. you don't need to dear sir
me: it won't work. I tell you 1
don't want gate that may be taken
from 1ts hinges md used as folding-
bSN L bstNC ITO uSS lOE u com Dllou
currycomb and mustachc cup; havs
full supply offucniture polish, cough
medicine and hair restorer; sand,
what's more, my wife doesn't need n
recipe for preserving Goldfish or fry
ing billiard balls"
Really, sir, this is most extraor.
binary"
ooh, of course, it's extraordinary,
but don't want it. suppose it can
be used to Crate horseradish and tune
the piano, but tell You that 1 don't
need 1t. Perhaps it will take the
grease spots out OF clothing, pare mp
pies and chase dogs out of the yard,
but you'll have to go somewhere else
to sell it. mn surprised that man
of your age and respectable appear
ance should go around trying to sell
pocket cornshellers when the whtlet
neighborhood is full of wood that
ought to DO sawed. What's the use of
trying to sell man fire-escape
when You can mako n dollar day.
baling hny?'
"l'm not an agent.
"FheE what arc you?"
'I'm tho pastor of the Orthodox
Brethren Church, md 1 came over to
get acquainted, not knowing that You
wero running private madhouse.
Good-day. = Chicago Tribune.