The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1894-11-30
MISFITS.

1t is easy 10 see why SO many men are
Gently introduced some electric machin- |
cry, run by ten men, where it took 800
before. This is sample.
It doesn { take much to arrest man
at Cottage Grove. A COW was killed and
carried of ON horse back. The tracks
lead towards farmers house, and he
was arrested. Upon trial he WAS ac-
quilted, Of course.
They say funny things back in Kan
sas when political fight is on. For in
stance, a newspaper back there, refer
ring TO the newly elected governor
1.-The reason horses do not bring more
ia because street cars are run by elec-
tricity, threshing machines by steam,
and the state by donkey"
This will be live winter in Albany
socially. At least three big local enter
tainments are on the boards, oil about
the same time. Money is wanted in
many channels, aud It Is pleasant to
note that times are never 30 dull that
people are not willing to give freely,
many more freely than they can afford.
A Medford lawyer got fooled the follow
/ ing way: There are two Jarvis boys,
twin brothers, living in Medford and
their resemblance, the one TO the other,
| is decidedly similar, so much so that At
torney Parker thought one was the other
and put him 20 work on his city pro-
perty, whereat the other one protested
vigorously. but Mr. Parker declared he
| had employed but one, whereas he had
employed both Of them and didn't know
it-in short Mr. Parker don't know just
where he is at or ut what station he'll
stop at.
Talk about the brutality OF prize fight
| ing. The following items in the Yale
Harvard foot ball game played Saturday,
in which Yale won by l2 to places
foot ball at the head OF the procession /;
the exact minute Of the occurrence be-
ing given: 2:27 nc Brewer (Har-
vardl hurt for second time, but re
sumed play. 2:29 p NC Brewer ie
forced to retire from the game by his
injuries, and is helped of, crying. 2:40
l-Worthington is hurt and is forced TO
leave the game. wrightington's collar
bone was broken in the first half and
HallowelPs nose was broken. There
was a delay of three minutes while
Murphy, OF Yale. ~as being Fesuscitated.
Another man knocked out. $50 p II
Murphy was carried OF the field on q
stretcher. Armstrong and Hayes are
ruled of the field. Les -Halloweli is
disabled and Wheeler takes his place.
Texa. is having n drought. Oregon
never has drcughts. We don't know how
} any more than we do about cyclones and
billiards.
Red clover has been chosen as tie state
! flower of Vermont. What is the matter
, tGf an apple or prune blossom for Oregon,
or stalk Of wheat. any one Of which Is
much better than the wild grape.
, Advertising Pays. An old gentleman
, who has been ru5.iing for wife has at las.
secured one through the columns Of mat
rimonial paper. Personal effort having
failed be used the press and from far away
Iowa comes the bride.
The Seattle Post-Intclligncer says there
il no more frightful abuse Of the freedom
of the press than the publication Of an OBJ
scene. blackmailiug newspaper. Il rake.
every garbage hoap for filth; il runs 1t.
: ragpi cker's hook inso every ashbarrel and
shakes its disgusting '-find'' before the
. public for the purpose Of leYying tribut'
upon the timid. the sensitive or the weak.
TIE follow ing from the Budget, OF As
toria. may be an AL but il is interest
ing: By gosh," remarked . moSsback
merchant today, "iis darn nation dull
and hsv'nt sold seven dollars worth o
{ goods 10 day" Shanabsn, who adyer'
' tises and lets people know what he hal
got Tor sale, at the same time selling
goods as fast as four clerks could handl'
them. The mossbaek's days have gon'
n by.
A novel method Of estimating the popu
n lailon uf the two great cities, Chicago Ant
W New York. has now been settled in the fol
lowing manner: The decision is based OF
y The relative cnnsum:icn OF beer Of the tw
- cities. Last year New York drank 4. SIS.
> 660 narrels Of beer. while Chnago drank