Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1894-07-13
Let Us MIAueh.

road.-Lowell Courier.
The fool is a man who goes ND to q
blockhead and implores him to be
sensible. Galveston News.
THERE is often a close relationship
between crooked actions and desper-
ate straits. Lowell Courier.
IT is true that doctors disagree, but
then they don't disagree half as much
as their medicines do.-Life.
AFTER all it is only right that the
bill collector should treat his victims
with due respect.-Buffalo Courier.
UNCLE GEoRGE-Are you good at
guessing? Little Dick-Yes. indeed,
I'm head in the spelling class.-Good
News.
The Western rivers are quoted
considerably higher than the West
crn railroads just at prescnt.-Boston
Herald.
"ER man kin run inter debt said
Uncle Eben, "but when it comes ter
gettin' out he's gotter crawl. WASH
ington Star.
II is not alone the inebriate who
stakes a drop too much;" the balloon
ist often suffers the same penalty
Yonkers Stateman.
A YOUTH visiting a girl six or sew
en- times a week also proves time is
money. He uses it to pay his adj
dresses. Philadelphia Times.
GRANDpA's birthday: "Many happy
returns of the day, grandpa: and
mamma says if you give us each so
cents, we mustn't lose 1t. "-Brooklvn
Life.
GILHooLY-I wonder why wars are
not as prolonged now as they were in
ancient times? Mrs. Gilhooly-It
must be because divorces come easier.
Detroit Tribune.
THAT new bullet-proof cloth may
keep out bullets, but has any one
tried it in a pair of kn%ickerbockers
for a small boy? That should he the
final test.-Bufalo Express.
SOME Of the New York policemen
have not been in a hurry to clean out
the saloons, but they have done their
best, it would seem, to clean out the
proprietors .-Yonkers Statesman.
MISS GusHEY-aMr. Dewdrop, when
you were introduced last night you
certainly looked familiar" MIR. Dew
drop-aDon't be alarmed. I am very
reserved, as a matter of fact."+
Truth.
HE-~They are not on speaking
terms, you know" She-aWhy, they
are dead in love with each other.r He
.-"For that reason they don't speak;
they just sit and gaze at each other"
Boston Transcript.
SIR" said the indignant constitu.
ent, Il am compelled to say that you
have acted the part OF a knave."
@Great Jonah!" replied the astonished
CONGRESSMAN" would you have me be
fool?"-Indianapolis Journal.
@WHEN 1 look into your eyes, Jen-
ME, dear" he said, "it surprises ne
to remember that you are a teacher
of a primary class" "Why, Georee?n
she asked. Because, dear, your pu-
pills are Sc largc."-Harper's Bazaar.
Jack has finished my portrait"
Eat last! l didn't think he ever
would" "Oh, yes! He's been at work
on it only a year" sDear me. Isn't
that a long time?:" ave didn't think
so. We're engaged now."-Harper's
Drawer.
Mrs. SPEKEEzY-"Oh, you may not
see any beauty in me now; but you
told me that you fell in love with my
face" MI. S.-"Yes, my dear; Tut
when l fell in love with your face
your features were in repOse. "-Bos-
ton Transcript.
BR1DaEr-D'ye moind tn way thin
Oytalians motions wild their hands
an arrums an heads and bodies
whin they talks? Patrick-Begorra,
how ilse could they undirshtand phat
aich other do be chatterin' about
New York Weekly.
1T is very much easier for a girl to
stand before an audience in a white
silk dress and the consciousness that
she is looking we'll, and talk Of the
nobility and courage that meet life
boldly, than it is to be patient while
washing dishes. -Atchison Globe.
HusBAND-.Our bills for household
expenses are as large as ever. told
you to reduce them" Wife-sI did.
I took from go to $40 of each one.
but the tradesmen acted so about it
that l thought you'd better 20 around
and reduce them yourself."- New
York Weekly.
CANT you give me employment,
ma'am?" said the tramp. Il haven't
had anything to do for months.s
.Poor fellow! What can you dos
well, ma'anl, I am a good watcher.
II I could sit out here on your front
porch and watch the front gate, SOS
no one could steal it, you'd fnd I
was very competent" -H arper's
Eaxar.
THE young lady at the piano was
playing a selection fror1 Wagner. In
the midst IT 1t she Suddenly STONED
In confusion. .What is the mstteres
inquired enc OF the company. II
struck a falec note" she renlieA-