The Pascagoula democrat-star. (Pascagoula, Miss.) 1878-1920, 1894-11-30
GhenmorrM-Sh
ApARKIY,SI IDEAL WIFE.
by BELLE Il. HARRISON.

''Stomped WHAT" said the astonish
ed proprietor Of the country store.
"Stomped antelopes. dat yer put Ell
letter in, and SEN IL to de pos OH e
| promise Florinda | gwlne write hel
er letter, an l boun' ter keep my
word
"Yes, I have plenty Of those, but
who is Florinda?"
"She's my wife, boss, err leastways
when | git my crap laid by l low ter
git err license, an gin her dat entitle-
ment. Ever sence | had de Ter grip
las winter, an de Ter manarial fever
in dc summertime, l'ze had er misery
in my chist, an been kin'er poly,
thank God, an need somebody to take
keer'er me, SO | dun 'cided ter git mar.
ried.
"Dis comm spring Florinda Jane
kin h0lp me powerful in de crap. She's
ez likely a han ez ever you seed in or
cotton patch, an Square Thomas seq
ef marries her dat he gwine sell me
er acre er Ian ter bull er house on.
Dat he knO' kin pay fer it den.
IL kinder no count en- trifin like,
but Florinda she kno' how ter make
buckle an tongue meet, she do, Gaze
] dun seed her tried. She done been
married twist afore dis, do she's or
young oman yit; but she's BIN power
full misfortunate. Her fust husban' got
wOun' up in er cotton screw, an wuz
mongreled ter deaf, an fore she done
mo'nin' fur him, her secOn' husban' got
sont up fur eight years fur stealth AN
udder devilmcnt. It's err wilder wo-
ma dat gwine marry, yer see?"
But what will you do when her
second husband serves his term aud
comes homes?"
We'll, dun ranged fur dat, boss.
| mought be glad ter gin her up when
dat time comes, AN eff SO, l JUS turn
her ODer ter him. But eff she amt
sickly, an fin her or likely oman to
live wild, den fore dat time comes |
kin git enforcement dockerments. |
dun 'quired inter dc martcr, an $50
will pay fur all dc papers an de l'yers
throwed in. Florinda Jane got cr bed
stead, an chist, an four split bottom
cheers, an er bolster, an feather bed,
an truck or dat kin dat is with mo'en
dc papers will cost. 1t won't be no
'spense ter me, an | PUBLICLY willin', cf
she suits, ter spen' it on her. | don't
low ter git married widout it's costin'
me sumpen. l already gin her a gage.
ment ring, wild er green glass set in it,,
an low ter buy her a pair er year
bobs fur er bridal present. Yes, sir, |
want her saterfed, Gaze | dunno what
she wants wild me no how, fur | amt
no likely shakes Nv or niger. | s'pose
1t wuz de ginger-cakc color, dat | dis
inherited frum my diceasted mudder
dat's d%ead-caze Florinda, she's Jest ez
dark complicated an shiny ez yore
boots. But she suits me ter err II.
II want somebody terpatch an men
fur me, an cook my vituals done, an
she kin I'LL de bill. Ell she JUS do her
part an mine erbOut dc house, an
raise de chickens, an de pigs an de
gyardnjn' truck, an do de cookin' an
de washin' an splittin'u up dc wood, an
totin' de water, an comb my hair on
Sundays, an work in de fel' Mondays
an cve'y udder day when dc crap is in
de grass, an when lis got ter be gath
cred. iii do my part. Dey amt nuth-
in mean or low lifeted crbout me. |
ulster b'long ter quality an | kno's how
ter treat er Wife"
"You do, hey? What's your part?"
my part IL alters ter have III er de-
cent an spectacle manner. l nebber
spccts ter beat my wife, less she's
powerful %aggrcvatin', nor let no udder
do it. / gwine buy her er calico coat
an er pair err shoes an Miss Malviny's
ole hat twist err year, an let her sing
JUS ez loud in de meetin' cz she wants
ter. Den l kwinc let her ten all de
funerals dat comes on Sunday an sit
up wild dc sick an eat at de fus table
wild me, an what oman, white or
black, could spec mo'en dat?
"Yes, sir; my wife gwine have err
good easy time, eff she's a wuckin'
Niger. But eff she's no count an
trifin' like me, l gwine gin her her
walkin' papers an git ernudder. /
can't s'pote two no count niggers.
But l don't comprehend no trouble
wild FlOrinda Jane, Gaze she's er wuck-
or frum way back. Course, | dun tole
her all dat erbOut.
Roses rcd an violets blue,
'Lasscs sweet, an 70 il YOU"
en- bout.
MY hub fur you shall ebber flow
Like water down a later row.
but ! dun tOle her besides what | gwine
marry her fur, an she kno's | don't
stan no foolishness. But Florinda
Jane, she's er likely young gal, she IL,
an amt erfeared ter buy her er IL
cense, l amt.
Boss, hates ter trouble yer, but
Ia be much obleegcd eff yer would put
dis letter in de stomped antelope am
back 1t ter Miss FIorinda Jane White.
side, er Wilder Oman, kear er her
Brudder-in.law, de Foreman in de
Brick Yark, Frog Level, Alabama.
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