Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1894-03-08
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Fresh Steward-"Don't | get any
tips, sir?" Saloon Passengcr-"Per'
haps; if storm comes up, ,"-Washing'
ton News.
Teacher - "Now, in parsing this
sentence, The poem was long what
do you do with poom?" Johnnie-"Put
it in the waste basket, Inter Ocean.
Mrs. HiclSs-"The girl broke only
one dish to-day" Hicks-"lIow did
that happenp" Mrs. HicRs-"It was
the only one left Y Herald.
-"My husband complains that Pm
sending him to the poorhouse." "And
mine scolds me when l send him to the
bank. "-Munsey's Magazine.
The Court-"What is the charge
against this man?" Patrolman-"Re-
sistin' a officer" "What were the cir
cumstances?" 81 axed i'm for cigar
an he told me to go to --."-Detroit
Tribune.
do you ever meet the Probusses,
who moved down here from Milwau-
KEEP" asked the visitor. Lord, no,
answered the Chicago lady They
amt in society. They're dead rank
outsiders. indianapolis Journal.
-Customer-"IIow many yards are
in the piece?" Clerk-"This is whole
bolt; not yard has been cut off, and
there is not another piece of goods like
it in the stock; it" Customer
"Wcll, then you'll have to show me
something else. want enough for
sleeves. Inter Ocean.
Jimmy (after they have fallen
through the ice and been rcscued)-
"Johnl we'd better run for home. or
we'll catch cold" Johnny-"Don' t you
fret about that! mall lick us so, when
we get there, We'll get warm enough "
Boston Traveller
Wont you sing us something,
James?" said the mother-in-law, who
was paying the second visit to her
daughter within month. Certainly"
answered the son-in-law; 'what shall
I sing?' Anything you like" Then
James sat down at the piano and sang,
"And the Cat Came Back. Y. Press.
II understand you saw the play
last night" said she. "No," replied
the melancholy young man, 81 was be-
hind the woman with high hat"
"But you could at least sit comfortable
and enjoy the music" mo, | was
next to the man who spreads himself
over three seats and keeps time with
his feet. t."-Washington Star.
New Father-in- Law-"W sir, the
ceremony is over, and now that you
are the husband of my daughter |
want to give you little advice. What
would you do if you should wake up
some night and find burglars in the
house," Bridegroom should tell
them that my father-in-law forgot to
give my wife wedding dowry, and
they'd go away" y."-Tit-Bits
An English Methodist paper says a
well-meaning local preacher recently
prayed that the Lord would ami.
hilate the queen and all the royal
family" When he learned afterward
what ''annihilate' meant he was grea t.
| lV ulSJrcSSeu. L ucdTly tONc JuS
queen" he said, "and l thought she
deserved the longest word | could get
hold of"-N. Y. Tribune.
AS soon as = woman marries it is
believed that she never again longs foi
any social amusen- ent. A young mar
ried woman was skating on the river
to-day, and there was a great deal of in
dignation because she was not at home
setting yeast for the bread or making
ash lye. Some of the unmarried wo
men who were indignant were grea
deal older than the married culprit. =
Atchison Globe.
Had Seen Better Days. This par
rot, ma am" said the dealer" is ont
that can recommend. 1t was in tn,
family of a clergyman for many years
"Well, gents what'll ye have? Nam'
your pizen!' exclaimed the parrot will
startling emphasis "He was obliged
to part with it. however," continued
the dealer with an apologetic cough
''and for the last year or two it has be
longed to the alderman from ou
ward Chicago Tribune