Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1894-07-07
BROTHER oARpNeR's BAND.

The lImskIIn Club Discusses Che
Age q che World.
"Am Brudder stepoff johnson in
de hall dis eavening?" inquired the
president OF the Limckiln Club rs he
rose up and glanced up and down the
aisles.
"He arp promptly replied a
voice from the region OF the alley
stairs.
Brother johnson Is nearly seven
feet high, as thickas a corn colored
envelope and makes n regular business
OF having three different breeds Of
asthma oil ut once. He slouched
forward, dragging his long feet be.
hind him, and when he had reached
the presidents desk Brother Gardner
said:
"Brudder johnson, war ober to
my family grocery dc odder night to
see II dc price Of turnips had fell,
and 20 cum in an brought five punds
Of buckwheat -four an hunk O. cod.
fish,"
Eyes, sab, I was dar," replied Mr..
johnson.
"Yo' was Jest about to 90 when do
ole man Climax cum In for a pint Of
'lasses, an It wasn't two minutes
bcfo' dc two OF yo' was disputin'
bout how long ago de world was
created"
Eyes, sab, but dat ole man hain't
got no sense In his head"
II heard yo' call him o liar"
"But he dun called me fule."
II heard yo' call him crank"
"But lie dun called me humbug."
Eyes, heard It all, an now !
want to have a little talk with 70.
Brudder johnson, how many vars
ago was dis world created ?"
II dunno, sab, but I reckon I
knows as much as dat ole man
Climax.
Oats probably true, but neither
Of yo' knows muffin tall bout 1t.
Dat whar dc trouble Gums in. He
said It was 10, 900 y'ars ole. an yo'
stuck to 1t that 1t was millyon.
It's human natur' dat two intelll.
gent pussons will sooner quarrel obcr
what dey DOM know dan ober sun.
thin dcy kin be suah oh. What we
doan' know We try to make up fur
In argument. What we lack In argy.
ment we try to make up in blab. II
we can't bring man to see things
Us we do, We call him fule.'
"How does he know dis world am
1000 y'ars old?" demanded Brother
johnson with show Of spirit.
"How does yo' know it's mill.
yonP" blandly replied the president.
"Mebbe yo'vc got some later news
dan de rest Of us, but l doubt II.
Let me say to yo' as follows:
"What yo' believe in wild all yo'r
heart may be altogether wrong.
"De man who drnps argument fur
hbuse admits dat he has no case.
''De man who will admit his igno.
rance has chance to learn wisdom;
dc man who won't must continer to
be u fule.
"Yo' may silence man by holdln'
an AK above his head, but he doan'
undergo no change Of opinyun.
''De man who prides hisself on
allus bein right makes brass take the
place Of knowledge.
ut am only q fule who believes
dat dis thing or dat thing am so be.
kase he has heard himself say so.
''Brudder johnson, when yo' stood
dar wavin dat buckwhcat -four In one
hand an do Goldfish In dc odder an
callin dat ole man an idiot case he
wouldn't add 900. 900 vars to de aige
OF do world to please yo'. I was
ashamed dat yo' belonged to dis
club. When yo' went out and dat
grocery man axed who dat umbrag.
eous niger was, I dun made out dot
I didn't hear dc question, an felt 30
put out dat forgot to inquar bout
de turnips.
| "I'xe sorry" humbly replied
Brother johnson rs his knees wob.
bled under him. III / meet dat ole
man Climax agin, ! Jest gwine to
walk right by him and say muffin"
~ reckon yo'd better, fur ! tells
20 plainly dat yo' has cum powerful
nigh Citing bounced outer dis club.
70 drap back dar by dc stove an
sot down an stay sot an chaw de cud
OF refieckshun. Dc next time yo'
meet a pusson who frows his arms
around his head an yells ut do top
OF his voice dat he knows the exact
aige Of do airth, yo' want to exhibit
some sense In yo'r head"
~ will, sah."
"Yo' take yo'r buckwhcat flour In
one hand and yo'r Goldfish In dc odder
and slip right out an git fur home an
leave him to talk to a box OF clothes.
pins. On de way home yo' kin con.
sole yo'self wild de reieckshun dat II
do par OF yo was to kick an bite and
gouge and pull ha'r an tear up fo'ty
rods Of sidewalk it wouldn't make de
: slightest difference bout dc aige OF
dc world In my younger days !
used to 60 around declarin' dat no
whale ebber swallered joiner. ! didn't
|, see 1t done an so wouldn't believe It.
Il