Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-03-24

he asked. pointing to the portrait. The
lady. who is a daughter of the days to
which the odd duffer' mentioned belonged
has Mortified at the irreverence of the
question, but she told her escort that 1t
was Washington.
II allow he has got in mighty queer
company, along Of his bein' dead sot on
promulgatin the truth. If it took leg
They don't mind him much nohow." The
ceaseless racket of the gavel with which
the chairman was beating a tattoo on his
desk caught the cowman'S attention next.
Who's the trail boss?" he asked. The
lady gave the desired information.
We'll, he don't sense his business none
or he'd stop that miilin' right now. Judg-
in from the rings on his horns he's old
enough to know that when the herd gifts
It's nose In the air, you KANT stop 'em.
Why don't he pull his gun and shoot into
the scenery some and git their attention?
They don't mind him no more than if he
wasn't in the landscape. Whatever air
them two lunatics a amin to do PAWN
OF the air that way?' This as Mr.. Bland
and Mr.. Pence of Colorado began to ex-
change compliments across the uproar
The lady explained that that was a part of
the usual pleasantrfes Of the harmonious
body.
well If I was a ridin' herd on 'em I'd
give EN- the rope and let 'em fight it out.
They'll git the herd Uneasy, II they keeps
1T up much longer. Whoop! There goes
the snubbin' post, he exclaimed, as the
mace made its regular half-hour sally into
somebody'n git throwed now, or the shoot
In II begin. 1t don't seem noways right
to waste good lead a shootin of 'em up
They'd better corral the whole hinged
business in le iunatic asylum 1t wouldn't
leave aGhin' void"
Just then the House adjourned. IT could
have told the blamed fool as was a ridin'
herd that he couldn't hold 'em II he didn't
sing to EN- or somethin' to stop their mill
In And then he could not understand
why everybody around who had been
listening to his comments laughed at the
idea of the dignified Mr.. Hatch of Missouri
SINGING TO quiet the demoralized members
Of the House.
once every three months the govern
ment pays its pensioners their quarterly
allowance and there gathers at the Treas
try Department a sad and pitiful congre-
CATION OF men and women. Especially are
the former mournful to look at Old. bent
wasted with disease, or deformed by
wounds. they form in line and patiently
await their turns to present their checks
and receive their money. 1t is difficult to
think that thirty-three or four years ago
they were the strong and stalwart youths Of
the nation, who went forward with iusty
energy TO fight in the foremost of it's bat
ties, and If need be to lay down their lives
for the perpetuation of the grandest gov
eminent that ever glorifed the world
When q man reviles the pension system of
the United States it would be a good plan
70 take him up bodily and put him down
on the scene; then, perhaps. his opinions
would undergo a transformation as hearty
as 1T would be sudden
Not long ago quite a nice-looking man
called on Col Wilson, superintendent of
public parks and buildings. with a letter
from a member of Congress- asking him II
h. h.
the bearer. 1t was a non-committal sort Of
a letter, and the colonel didn't know much
more when he had anished it than he did
at first. However, he had the bearer hardy
and 1t was possible that he could tell him
what he wanted at the hands Of the
superintendent.
We'll" he inquired, what can 1 do for
your
The visitor took a retired tomato can
from beneath his coat.
II have here" he said in the tone of q
poet about to offer a poem to callous-
hearted editor, the ashes of my dead wife,
which l desire to take to the top of the
Washington monument and scatter to the
four winds of heaven"
Col. Wilson sized his caller up on the
spot.
But, my dear SIR" he protested, 1--WE
cannot permit it. We allow nothing to be
thrown from the top of the monument"
so they told me at the monument when
L was over there" replied the unhappy
widower. but / thought with congress
sional influence I might prevail upon YOU
to make a discrimination in my favor
shall be under many obligations If you
will give me an order permitting me to
carry out the wishes of the late Mrs.
Blank"
The colonel couldn't be persuaded that
way, and the man hunted up various other
pleas and arguments until the colonel was
getting weary.
Now. look here" he said. think about
this thing for a minute. You might go I p
there and throw out those ashes and they
would 60 flying to the bottom of the Inonu-
ment, where a lot of people were gazing up
and the first thing you knew some total
stranger or other would have mouthfu
Of your wife. Would that be agreeable to
any of your"
This was a poser and the crank's face
II never thought of that" he said.
And I fancy the late Mrs Blank never
did added the colonel pleasantly
Not much. responded the crank, and
with profusion of thanks and bows. he
chucked the can under his coat and disl
appeared with it.
They were standing in the flies waiting
for the time when they were to embellish
the stage as mighty Amazon warriors and
go through elaborate drill. Two Of
them, who were seated on a piece Of a
felled tree, which belonged in the rustic
scene just over, lOoRen very pretty.
"Oh. Mamie" crie1 the tall blonde, don't
you hate this horrid heavy armor? My he'll
met is always slipping down into my eyes"
Certainly the amor is horrd, but after
wearing whiskers in New York l don't
mind trines like that
"Whiskers? What do you mean?"
Didn't you know that / played with the
company of women who gave AS You Like
It at the Garden Theater when there was
not a single man on the stage? Just fancy
how tame 1t all vast Half of us were
dressed as men. We had to wear regular
mems boots and pad out with cotton
Mine were so long that l kept tripping O, er
the toes. 1 wore red whiskers. and they
had to be stuck on, and oh! they were so
unconfortable!'
Poor Mamie! But 1t must have been
very very funny-I hope you don't mind
my laughing"
Not in the least-we all laughed at che
another all the time The YOUNGER Duke
was a tall girl, splendidly made up and she
really looked quite manly and imposing
and the audience received her enthusiastic
ally until she began to speak. She had a
very high, thin voice. and a litter went up
from all over the house as soon as she
opened her lips The old Duke had a
dandy get-up too, but she was awfuly
nervous about her beard, and once when
called her attention to the peculiar walk
one of the girls had put on with her
trousers, she laughed and had a great time
getting her mustache on securely again.