davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28
PiTH AND POINT.

The way Of the world is to, make
avs, but follow customs -Montaigne.
About all the nse some peoples
heads are is to pnt their hats ONO
gan Nation.
Come to stay?r asked the fish.
''Oh, no." said the worm; lust dropped
in for bite
All at sea-ssLet 60 the anchor
yelled the captain 81 amt a-touching
it, said the new neck hand. Tit Bits.
The generality of men spend the
early part of their lives in contributing
to render the latter part miserable
Bruyere-
IL hear Bilker lost his job. Won
der if he's struck anything SINGER.
'.Er-yes; all of his friends and two
thirds of his acquaintance" Buffalo
Courier.
- don't believe half of our rich
men know when they are well off"
''Humph. How'd you get that idea?"
s'Been looking over the assessment roll
Buffalo Courier.
Tommy, can you give me sem
tence in which but is a conjunction?'
asked the teacher s'See the goat butt
the boy Butt is conjunction, and
connects the boy with the goat
How shall enter the money the
cashier skipped with?" asked the book
keeper; under the profit and loss?"
mo; suppose you put it under the run
ming expenses Toronto Reporter.
Rest and change are good for peo-
pie" said the wife as she rose in the
night to rifle her husbands pockets.
1--WE had rest, and now / think I'll
have little change. Courier.
lis it true that your bride is very
hard of hearing?" ut is. Why, when
proposed to her / had to shout out so
loud that all the neighbors ran in and
congratulated me."-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
Mother Ito six-year-old SOM
Church, how did you tear your new
trowsers?" Burch--ssWell, mother, /
don't see how You can expect me to be
a-knowning what is going on behind
me-
Mrs. Oatbin - sHere's this piano
lamp I bought; I guess there's some
thing wrong with it, Clerk-''No, it
is all right" Mrs. Oatbin - well,
there amt no more tune to it than q
homemade tallow candle"
-''Oh, doctor, I have sent for you.
certainly, still must confess have not
the slightest faith in modern medical
| science" Doctor-''Oh. that doesn't
matter in the least. You see, mule
has no faith in the veterinary surgeon,
and yet he cures him all the same
Tagliche Rundschau-
AS to Advertising Merchant-"Do
you think advertising pays?" Book
Agent-ssNo, I don't" Mechanically
not?" Book Agent-''Why not? Be
cause it takes all the people to your
store to buy goods. and can't find any
body at home to sell book to; that's
why not."-Detroit Free Press.
-Author-ssI loaned a copy of my
new book to Joanes, and when he re-
| turned it he praised it up to the mines.
But 1 found out, come to look at it,
that he hadn't even cut the leaves.
What do you think of that?' Friend
81 think You are fortunate in getting
an unbiased opionion from man OF
Joanes' discernment- Boston Tran
/ scripf
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28

OF gambling disposition were backing
their favorites with a reckless liberal
ity characteristic of the far west
II soon learned that the greater in
terest centered in foot race which was
to take place between three young
girls, an American. a Mexican and an
Indian who had won several such con-
tests in the towns further north and
who had been brought down to enter
the contest by sporting members of
her tribe. The American girl was the
daughter of bullying fellow named
Matt Parker, who ran a saloon and
whose reputation was not exactly that
of saint was told by a merchant
friend. a gentleman with whom my
house had long sustained the most
agreeable business relations, that dur
ing our civil war Parker was one of
Ouantrelrs band of cut-throat guerril-
las. took a prominent part in the sack
ing of Lawrence, Kan, and often boast
ed of his deeds of murder while mem
Der of that organization. Unlike the
very large majority of regularly enlist
ed confederate soldiers who accepted
defeat, and who are now on terms of
brotherly friendship with their late
foes and are answering in their devo-
ton to the grand old flag of our IA
theirs, he was yet an uncompromising
rebel and would use the stars and
stripes as a dishcloth rather than al
low them to float over his house After
the war he engaged in the horse and
cattle stealing business, smugg1ed
whisky onto the Indian reservation,
and rnmor linked his name with a dar-
ing stage robbery down in Texas in the
early 70s He held no regard for the
Fourth of July as patriotic holiday.
and took part in arranging the festivi-
ties of the day only for what he could
make out of them by stalking money
on the various races The foot race
between the girls was an idea origin
ated BY himself, for he believed that
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28
Bridget and the Crabs.

Bridget. her Harlem mistress always
said, was willing" but she did not un-
derstand American cookery.
Her mistress sent home half dozen
live hard shell crabs one day and left
word that they were to be prepared for
dinner. When the lady entered the
kitchen on her return home she found
Bridget in tears and with her hands
and arms tied up. Two empty green
crab shells were on table, three of the
crabs were mutiiated and dead and the
last one Bridget was preparing to at
tack.
I've downed them ALL. explained
Bridget, but that last devil in the cor
ner, and he's fighter
What are you doing to them?''
gasped the mistress.
Cleaning them ma'am. There's two
of them cleaned. = pointing to the emp
ty shells.-N. Y. World
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28

felt my whole soul go out in sympathy
TO that frightened little Mexican
Jewel. and when l heard Parker and
his followers decrying her sprinting
merits and doing all they could 10
create feeling against her and so en-
barrass her that she could not run as
she would under more favorable cir
cumstances. i felt the Old Nick spirit
that's in me struggling to the surface
THE girls came onto the track, the
Parke girl an Unlocking, ungainly
creature. brazen and defiant. the Mex
lean timid and casting appealing
chances into the faces of the great
crowd, and the Indian maiden quite
unconcerned and seemingly without
interest in the contest The Parker
girl was dressed in skirt of flaming
red, scarcely reaching her knees, and
beneath it-wore white stockings and a
pair of gaudily ornamented dancing
slippers. Marta, the Mexican, was
clad in plain gray of neat and modest
cut. and was barefooted. The Indian
girl, after she had thrown off her
blanket, wore but little more than the
look of unconcern which l have de-
scribed. The distance to be run was
two hundred yards, and there were to
be three heats should two not be won
by one contestant, the party distanced
in the first heat to drop out and leave
the other two to finish the race.
Sat the usual western signal. the
crack of a pistol, they were off, and for
quite distance it was neck and neck,
and then Marta took the lead. The
Indian girl. as 1 could now see. by a
preconcerted arrangement was sew
eral yards in the rear. On they came,
Marta with a half-scared look of tri-
umph on her face; the Parker girl
wearing an ugly frown and straining
every muscle to overtake her. When
but few yards from the outcome a
heavy cowboy sombrero sailed out Of
the crowd, and Marita's feet struck
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28
TANsY FOR ANTS.
A Quick and Effective Way Of Routing the
Insect Pest.

A Quick and Effective Way Of R0utlng the
Insect Pest.
A sure remedy for these summer
pests is here outlined. Big, fat, black
antimires and little, lean, scurrying
red ants have put in their early APP
pearance at our house for the past few
summers, taking possession of every
pantry and cellar shelf where food il
kept and persistently remaining until
frost comes. have tried washing the
shelves in alum water, and circling the
sugar bucket and cake box with chalk
marks, thick and broad, to strand the
foraging, and sifted sponges full Of
sugar. and, when filed with victims,
have plunged them into hot water.
have put sulphur bags and bOrax
Jumps and cedar chips and tarred
paper strips in my cupboards and ice
chest, but with no other result than to
see both black and red ants scamper-
ing as lively as ever over the supposed
exterminator.
why don't you try tansy?" the new
girl said one morning last spring.
Mother always drives them of by
putting tansy leaves on her shelves"
had little faith in the bundle Of green
leafed stalks she picked that day and
laid on every food shelf in cupboard,
pantry and cellar-less faith, even,
than had in my plump little sulphur
bags and wobbly chalk marks But
the tansy did it; for there was a
stampede of ants, big and little, black
and red, presently from my shelves A
thorough routing: for from that day
to this, six weeks, not one ant have we
seen. though we leave the strip can un-
sealed and the sugar bucket on the
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28

ranch on the Rio Bonito. in New
Mexico, and were seated on the We
randa which ran in front of the low
adobe ranch house, enjoying smoke
and a chat. At the table / had been
greatly impressed with the rare
beauty and modest demeanor OF Eber
hard's young Mexican wife. 1t seemed
strange that she, yet but little more
than child, and of race regarded by
western people as inferior in the
social scale to the whiter-skinned
Americanos, should be the mistress OF
the greatest ranch and the wife of the
most wealthy cattle king in all tina,
region She had not taken a promi
nent part in our conversation at the
table. her knowledge of the English
language being somewhat limited, yet
when she did venture a remark or re.
spond to an inquiry 1 could not bu,
note the soft music of her voice, and
when at some witty remark she joined
in our laughter the room seemed filled
with ripples of silvery sound.
As Eberhard and myself sat on the
veranda enjoying our cigars and the
delightful coolness which always fol.
lows as sort of an apology for the
heat of New Mexican summer day,
said to him:
81 was not aware until this evening,
Frank, that you had married a Next
can girl. Could you not find one OF
your own race good enough for you?"
He smiled good-naturedly, and,
knocking the ashes from his cigar, re-
piled:
PLENTY of them, no doubt, but l
never felt in a marrying mood until !
fell captive to Marita's dark eyes.
There is bit of romance connected
with our marriage, and / don't mind
telling you the story II you care to
listen.
You are 10 doubt aware of the fact
that by my fathers death in Denver, a
few years ago, inherited very COM
Portable fortune. 1 tried to fill his place
in the business world for time, but
somehow / always seemed out of my
element in busy city life. and the de-
sire grew upon me to secure Q great
ranch and establish myself in q more
quiet life.
sNearly three years ago severed
the last business bond, and started out
to seek for such a ranch as my day
dreams had pictured. looked all
over Arizona and northern Texas, and
finally drifted mp to Las Cruces, on the
Rio Grande. reached that town on
the third day of July. and found the
people in a lutter Of excitement over
the celebration of the following day.
There were to be races and other sports
10 dear to The western heart, a2d men
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28
One DAY Short.

There is a small island in the south
Pacific, where there only appear to be
six DAYS in the week. This extraor-
dinary phenomenon is brought about
fy the location of the island. Travel
-ers around the world are acquainted
with the fact that time is lost while
travelling east and gained while travel
ing west. the difference of time in a
transatlantic journey alone being
about four hours This little island is
lust on the line of demarcation be-
tween times and dates In order to
keep right with the remainder of the
world it is necessary to skip from noon
on Sunday to noon on Monday every
week in the year, and hence the joke
that it is possible to spend whole day
at dinner without eating an average
meal. The island is so near the ant
arctic region that days and nights are
altogether mixed mp from the idea of
an ordinary individual. but this plan
of jumping the afternoon of one day
and the morning of the next so as to
keep in line with the almanac is some
thing so ridiculous that none but sea-
faring man can appreciate it. or under
stand the necessity--St- Louis Repub
Tic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28
DOMESTIC CONCERNS.

Egg Toast: Prepare the same ~
buttered toast, and on each side place.
. nicely-poached and well-seasoned
egg.-Wes.ern Rural
Slowed Celery: Take four heads Of
celery, wash thoroughly, cut on any
discolored spots or leaves, and divide
into two-inch lengths. Stew those for
about an hour in water. Then remove
them carefully with slice, strain tho
water the celery was stewed in, and
add to it some nice thickened gravys
let all stew for about an hour longer
Arrange the celery; ON . dish, and pour
the gravy oyer.-The Home
Fried Beets: Boil few beets until
tender, then cut them in small, long
pieces Put them in stew pan with
. teaspoonful of vinegar, the juice OF
one lemon, pinch of sugar, very little
grated nutmeg, salt and pepper and
two tablespoonfuls of soup stock or
fresh butter. Put the sauce pan on the
back of the range and let it simmer
half an hour, stirring occasionally
Boiling the beets in soup is an improve
ment.-Boston Budget
Egg Rolls: Sift two teaspoonfuls Of
baking powder into pint of -four and
rub a piece of butter as large as butt
ternut into the same. Add two we'll
beaten eggs and pinch of salt to one
cupful of sweet milk, add the prepared
-four and enough more to make soft
dough. Handle as little as possible,
roll out thin, cut with large round cut
ter, butter the top slightly, fold over on
the other half and bake in a hot oven.
IN. Y. Ledger.
Fruit Cake: Twelve eggs, one and
one-half pound each of butter, sugar
and -four, two pounds each of raisins
and currants, one pound citron, half
pint molasses, one ounce each Of nut
megs, mace and cloves, one and one
half glass of jelly-grape is best-more
-four if needed. Put dough in pans, set
in steamer, taking care that the cover
is made to Fl. very tight; if necessary,
put cloth under the lid and shut it
down on it, taking care that it does not
touch the cake. Steam two hours and
bake one hour.-Chaperone.
Cafe Frappe: Take one quart OF
cream, one cup of powdered sugar, one
tablespoonful of vanilla. Whip very
stiff. Divide the cream into two equal
parts; into one beat one-fourth of cup
of strong black coffee. Put the whipped
cream into the bottom of the mold, hold
the cream with the coffee in it over the
mold, and pour it directly into the CEN
ter of the whipped cream. SO forcing
the white cream mp around the sides OF
the mold. Pack it in salt and ice tho
same as ice cream and let it stand from
six to eight hours in winter; longer in
warm weather.-Boston Budget
Strawberry Cream: Sugar quart
of berries, using cup of powdered SUI
gar, and set away for an hour or two;
mash through fine sleeve; melt over
| the fire half an ounce of gelatin, which
| has soaked for half an hour in barely
enough strawberry juice to cover it:
| add two tablespoonfuls of sugar. the
| juice of half lemon and pour through
| the sieve into the bowl of berries; beat
thoroughly; add pint of whipped
| crcan, mix lightly through and pour
into a mold. Set on the ice until thor
aughly chilled. Serve with or without
rream.-American Agriculturist,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28
HIS CLEVER SCHEME.
Chicago Dance Hall Doorkeeper Solve.
y Perplexing Problem.

a Chicago Dance Hall DOOrkeeper Solve.
q Perpiexing Problem.
At one OF the largest dance halls or
the north side there is doorkeepe1
who in way is genius. The hall at
which he takes tickets is one of the
most popular for dancers in the whole
north division. Hardly a night passes
during the winter when there is not a
dance of some sort at this hall. These
dances are well patro1ized and often
the capacity of the hall is taxed to ac-
commodate those who wish to dance.
The people who attend these dances
are not the sort who could be classed
among the -Four Hundred" but they
are as rule well-behaved and the Off
GERS on duty at the hall are seldom
called upon to make an arrest. One
popularity of the patrons of the place
is an unquestionable thirst. At
every chance they run out for a
glass of beer, rush back and dance.
and again go out. This habit tended
to make the doorkeeper's position un-
enviable- A hundred persons would
go out without return tickets and a
few minutes later would begin stag
Cling back. How was he to know who
among those who came in had paid
over the price of admission and who
were impostors? For time he gave
return checks. but some would lose
them and some go out bareheaded. give
their check to friend, and then offer
their uncovered head and coat room
check as evidence that they had paid
once. Innumerable squabbles grew out
of this condition of things and the
doorkeeper was seriously thinking of
giving up his position One day, few
months ago, a brilliant idea came to
him. He went down town and
bought a rubber stamp and an ink
pad. That night he put his scheme into
execution. Before he would let any
one out he must be stamped on the
palm of the hand. There were loud
and indignant protests at this innova-
ton, but the doorkeeper was obdurate.
1t was either, be stamped or pay the
price of admission again to enter the
hall. The police sided with the door
keeper and the crowd gave in. As each
one passed out one hand was stamped
with the red ink and the impression
would last until the hand was washed.
After few nights the custom became
quite popular, and before the winter
was over had become permanent in
stitution- The doorkeeper has been
getting fat since his scheme got to
working. and he declares he is enjoy
ing life for the first time since he as
sumed his position. Chicago Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28

I against it. She stumbled. fell on her
hands and knees, and although she
had but moment later regained her
( feet the Parker girl had passed her and
Won the heat.
The Parker crowd yelled themselves
hoarse and old Matt caught his girl
and Rugged her to his breast. A hid
eous toad hugging no less hideous
snake. ] can think Of no better simile.
/ The cry of fraud was raised by the
hackers of the Mexican girl, but the
! cowboy swore that his hat had blown
! off by accident, and the bullying ma
/ jority ruled that it was square heat.
/ walked down to where Marta was
standing, and such a change l never
saw. Her Spanish blood was thor
oughly aroused, her great lustrous eyes
! flashed defiance at the crowd, and, as
! the big cowboy who had remained near
me informed me, she had seen the man
purposely throw the hat and was de-
nouncing such rascality, and was offer
ing to give the American girl ten feet
the start in the coming heats if assured
of fair play.
Il could control myself no longer.
Calling loudly for attention attracted
the crowd around me, and in my indig-
nation said:
Men, am ashamed of you. You
claim to be American citizens who love
fair play: you are celebrating the
proudest day in American history. vet
you lend encouragement to an act
which should cause any honest man to
blush with shame
Who are your a dozen voices
yelled.
IL am an American, and l assure
you l have nothing but disgust for
those in this crowd who are disgracing
that name / came among you seek
ing home, came with desire to help
build up your business interests, but
I'd rather locate in nest of rattle
snakes than among men who would
plot against young, defenseless girl.
Now, l am worth half million dollars,
your merchants here will tell you that
my checks are good for any amount,
and l will bet any man in this crowd
five thousand to one hundred dol
lars that the Mexican girl will win
the next two heats. for am going to
see fair play, and l believe there are
enough honest Americans and natives
here to back me in doing So
You bet your life-thar-is. big
Tom yelled. The ours that's a back
in oil Matt Parker are towards. an
every square cowboy in the crowd will
stay with you, stranger Won't you,
boys?'
Tom seemed to be great favorite.
fo- at his words ringing cheer went
up and hundred voices yelled for a
square deal. Martha ran to me, and,
taking my hand, said in her cute
broken English:
20, senior. / tank you. You good
man. You mucho bueno Americana
Me win. Ne win. Bad man Parker
he no laugh some more. Mucho gra-
ciRs, mia amigo
Il assured her that she should have
fair play, and that if her enemies de-
sired to place any more money on their
brazen favorite / would meet every
wager.
81 viii back you for all 1 am
WORTH said to her, for I know you
can win.'
1T was wild, foolish assertion. but
I was thoroughly aroused, and was de-
termined to down the Parker faction
even should I meet with defeat by
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-06-28

the buffers and thugs who hung about
his place. drank his dguardisnte and
bowed to his will in everything, could
by some shulduggery retard the prog
ress of the other two contestants and
allow his girl to win the race. and him
self to win the heavy stakes which
would be placed upon the result of the
contest
Il learned, too, that there were
grave suspicious that the Indian girl
and her people had been fixed with
cash, and that she would purposely
drop behind. leaving but the Mexican
and American girls as the real con-
testants- The hackers of the Mexican
girl were mostly from among her own
people. though few Americans had
backed their belief that she would win
with pretty heavy stakes However,
the friends of the Montezuman fairy
were largely in the minority, and
greatly feared there would be foul
play which they would be unable to
prevent.
Il went to the grounds the following
afternoon with no intention to take
any part in the festivities except as an
onlooker. The track was a straight
one, half mile long, just outside the
town, and when ! reached 1t l found q
great crowd assembled there, Next
cans, cowboys. Indians and the entire
American population of the town, at
that time small. Matt Parker was
there, flourishing roll of greenbacks
and loudly soliciting bets on the horse
races. but more particularly challeng-
ing anyone to post money against his
girl in the foot race.
Noting a crowd collecting near by
where l stood 1 stepped forward
through curiosity to see what was at
tracing it and learned that the Next
can girl was there with her friends,
who seemed to be expostulat.Ig it'll
her. When / had elbowed my way
through the motley crowd near to her.
l could not bat stare in amazement. 1
had expected to see a rough-looking,
dark-skinned, lily clad girl such as we
SO often see in the Mexican towns, but
instead found her q rarely beautiful
young creature with large tender eyes,
and evidently of a very timid DISPOSE
ton. There were tears in her pretty
ewes. and her voice trembled as she re-
piled to the half angry words of those
about her.
"A great big fne-looking cowboy
stood near me, there he is now out by
the branding chute, God bless him
Big Tom, my foreman, and he will be
my foreman as long as l run ranch),
and turning to him asked the trouble
He understood the Mexican tongue,
and with a somewhat dangerous light
in his eyes he replied:
Some o. Matt Parkers sneakin
dogs have been threatenin' the gal,
an have got her SO skeered up she's
afraid to run. There's crooked work
a-goin' on here, an if / wasn't afraid
il ID bring on q row an that somebody
that didn't 6esarve it d git hurt I'D
pull my gun an claim fair play if got
downed fur it.
The horse and donkey races were
soon over, and Parker's winnings were
so small that he was in a decidedly
bad humor. The girls were then
called to the scratch for the foot race
BY this time had become deeply in
terested in the contest, and want to
to say right here, Jack, that it has al
ways been my nature to take the part
of the under dog in the fight, no mat
ter what odds may be aGainstait. I