Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-21
Sprinkles of Spice.

SprinkleS of Spice.
THE sky, unlike man, is most
cheerful when bluest. Texas Stiff
ings.
SAMPSON brought down the house,
but nobody called for an encore
Siftings.
THE boy who is continually carry
ing on in school doesn't carry Oft
much when the honors are distrib-
uted. Yonkers Statesman.
ToMPKINs-"Did your new play
meet with warm reception" Van
Clive-"Well, rather. The critics
literally roasted it Harlem Life.
BUSINESS man-You want situa-
tion as floor walker. Have you ever
had any experience? Applicant--I
am the father of twins. -Philadelp hia
Record.
ETHEL-Was the wedding very
brilliant one? Gladys-Oh, very;
they had tC employ four detectives to
watch the wedding presents. So mei-
vile Journal
"OLD man, Pm engaged to Miss
Dashe. She's a dear girl" Yes,
she is so. She cost me about 500
the winter | was engaged to her,
Brooklyn Life.
SHOULD Prof. Garner, in his simian
studies. go so far as to get at the
monkey literature, collection ct
their tales might catch on.-Phila-
delphia Times.
TEACHER-Her dress was plain
Can you express that idea in wore
polite language? Little miss Zone
Of the four hundred Her gown was
CHASTITY.
BRIDE of a year (weeplng)-f0u
used to say / was sweet enough 10
eat. Groom of the same period
Yes, and l wish to heaven / had
eaten you.-Life.
SQUILDIG-"Do you have any din
Guilty meeting your bills?" Nc
Swilligen-"No, indeed My great
difficulty is in avoiding them DC
troit Free Press.
"How is Dykins getting on with
the farm he bought?" pretty we'll.
He tells me he saved money on it
last year." How" "Let it to an
other ."-Tid- Bits.
SEwARD-"Were you aware that
Noah understood all about electriei-
ty?" Baldwin-"No: did he?" Sew
ard-"Most assuredly; he made the
arc light on Ararat. "-Brooklyn Life
GER fault finder, said Uncle Ebeu,
gifts mo- interest from lis investment
dan any uddah man in de wurT. He
kin stah't wild nutfin' an hab trouble
ter las i'm his whole life. Wash
ington Star
Il DON'T think it right for doctors
to charge some patients more than
Others" con, / do; life is worth
great deal more TO man who has q
million dollars than it is to me. y
Newport Daily News,
"HOw DOES Tankins manage &c
keep up his eXtravagant mode Of liv-
ing?" "He has credit" How did
he get it?" "By pretending TO be Wor-
ried almost to death over the Income.
tax. Washington Star.
A LECTURER informed the Profess
sional Woman;s League Of New York
that human life is largely controlled
by stars. This is especially true OF
impresarios and theatrical managers
philadelphia Record.
MISS BILE KER-I'm SO interested
in our reading club. l wasn't at first,
but ! never miss meeting now. Miss
Beacon-What are you reading? Miss
Bleeker-Well, we're not reading any
thing at present. We're making
preparations to give dance.-Puck-
Mr.. CURIo (who is making a first
call on the bride, hazards a passing
remark to break an awkward pause
That's spirited little picture over
there. Mrs. Naiyeti-Im SO glad
you like it. 1t was your wedding
present to US. Mr.. c. (endeavoring
to conceal his chagrin)-Mine. Mrs
N.-Yes: we exchanged your Apostle
spoon,-Life.
Up like to marry your daugh-
ter, sir. the youth conf1ded to the
| fair ones severe parent "Iou-wanG
to marry - my - daughter" he
Numbered. young man, will you
be good enough to tell me what your
prospects in life are?" well, they
seemed pretty good when | talked
with your daughter; but, seeing you.
I've come to the conclusion that
haven't any. Washington Star
PAYING A COMPLIMENT. - Ubbs
! (who has been waiting in his friends
studio)-Ah. here you are at last.
Your dog has been paying a good
compliment to that bit Of scene
painting. l had to drive the little
beggar off. Dauber (agreeably sur
prsed)-What was he doing? Dibbs
oh, he mistook that river for real
water and he started tapping it! BY
the by, what river does it represents
Dauber (savagely)-Riyer be hanged
That isn't a river, it's prairie fire.