The Washington times., 1894-12-10
CLoAKRo0A AND GALLERY.

If there is anything that your average
orator enjoys it is a side shot at some other
fellow of the same sort. Congressman Bryan
was occupying an easy chair IN the Ways and
Means Committee-room the other day and
condoling with Chairman Wilson'S son about
the defeat of his father.
.sWell. f" said Wilson, jr., 81 did all | could
to help him. Why, went out and made
speeches for him myself.
GOOD, said Mr.. Bryan, that's dutlful
son. How many speeches did you make and
what was the result?
WELL" said Wilson, doubtfclly, II only
made three and father lost votes at two OF the
places But at the third place, where l spoke,
he held his own"
That's consoling," said Mr. Bryan. max
ing for the door; didn't speak very long at
the third place, did you, Wilson," And he
did not wait for a reply to the last question,
either.
Members of the Democratic party who
found themselves embarrassed in the late
campaign over the fact hat the President did
not sign the tariff act are a good deal amused
with the explanation offered by John Lamb,
of Indiana. so well-knoWn to the older mem-
bers of the House. Mr.. Lamb was making
speech during the late campaign. extolling
the recent tariff bill to the best of his ability,
when an old farmer arose and gently re-
he would like to ask him a question. OF
course. Mr. Lamb yielded, with the best grace
possible. when the old man said:
Now, Mr.. Lamb. don't wart to be too in
quisitiye. but if your tariff is such mighty
good one. why was it that Mr.. Cleveland
didn't sign it?
There was a roar from the wicked unbe-
lievers, who thought Mr.. Lamb was cor
nered.
''Ill have to answer you uncle" said he,
'as the man did when the bull ra away
with him. He was a farmer OF my accquaint-
ance who had fine bull in the pasture,
very fine animal but a little headstrong. One
day he led him out to water. when, some
how, the rope got fastened around the old
mans body, and the bull went tearing off
down the road with him at a two-forty rate.
AS he turned the corner half mile from home
he met neighbor, who asked with amaze
ment whore he was going in that style.
Give it up ne ighbor,' shouted the old man,
ask the bull. So said Mr.. Lamb, i shall
have to refer you 10 the bull for an answer
TO that question
Senator Voorhees, seems to thrive under ad-
versity. He did heroic work in Indiana dur
ing the campaign and comes back bearing
the burden OF defeat with better health than
he has enjoyed for years. He is even cheerful
under the depressing situation and prospects
his heart.
VI suppose" said he in answer to ques
ton. ''that we shall cat our breakfasts and
dinners and go to bed and sleep. and when
the 4th of March arrives we will have passed
the appropriation bills and little more. L
really do not know anything more about the
prospects than anybody else does, but that
is the way it looks to me. that there will be
little if anything accomplished at this session
in the way of general legislation"
The Republicans smile when you ask them
what is to be done at this session. Senator
Manderson, who is serving his last three
months in the Senate, having determined to
retire and resume his law practice at Omaha,
smiled broadly when asked what would be
accomplished at this session.
"Why. nothing, of course" he said. II
suppose we shall pass the appropriation bills,
but as for opening up the tariff or matters Of
that kind it will not be done. or at least there
will be nothing accomplished, in my opinion.
As to the suggestion of revision of the cur
rency system, it is so apparent that it is too
big task for a short session, especially un-
der the present circumstances. that l do not
think there is any likelihood OF action in
that line
Every man has his theory on the fnancia
/ situation.
, Stb THAT lhb 4llCLu Ludi LSNCluD LtIClplS
! have begun to increase" said "a caller at the
! Internal Revenue Bureau the other day.
! How do you account for it, Mr.. Commis-
/ sioner?'
Suppose the business situation is i'm
! proving" was the reply. New tariff law
! got to work, you know, confidence restored,
! and all that sort of thing.
Huh" said the other "that isn't my
/ theory at all. l think the defeated party has
/ taken to drink, and that has forced so much
( whisky out of bond that the receipts are pre-
ceptibly increasing.
II see that THE TINES has good story or
/ Representative Hare to-day remarked some.
/ body at the Capitol yesterday. If that Fos-
torian had heard about Mr. Hare's sale of his
/ pigs he would have thought him a fitting
rival for Calico Charley, as they call ex
Gov. Foster. whom Hare defeated on the oc
casion referred to in THE TIMES"
'What was the pig story?" chorused {
group who were ready for anything more in
! teresIing than interstate commerce.
"Why, when Mr.. Hare was sitting in tht
corner grocery at Upper Sandusky, just afte
! election, he remarked to group of his ad
miring neighbors that he was getting ready e
| 60 to Washington again and had some pig
he must dispose of.
"'If anybody wants en- he added, I'll
sell them for dollar apiece since the time
/
''Nr. Hale, one of Mr. Hare's neighbors
who is quick at a bargain, said promptly:
''Ill take 'em, Mr.. Hare, if they ar
healthy and in good condition.
"'All right replied Mr.. Hare, they are il
first-cass condition; you can have them
Hale
Several others who thought Hale was try
ing to get too good bargain tried to ovel
bid him, but Mr.. Hare was obstinate and de
cared that Hale should have them. Mex
morning Mr. Hale called his son and an.
nounced that he had bought Mr. Hares pig
for dollar apiece and wanted him to hell
drive them home
".Why, paw answered the young hope
full, Mr.. Hare amt got no pigs 'ceptin
guinea pigs, and YOU can buy them anywhere
for % cents apiece"
Mr.. ]. ". Drury, newspaper clerk of tn
House of Representatives. is the possessor o
an interesting relic of the republic of Texas
1t is watch presented to a member of tn
congress of that republic by its president
Gen. Sam Houston. II is handsome gol
timer OF the pattern of the first half of tn
century, its inner case bearing the inscrip
ton: Presented to Robert Wilson, Membe
of Congress. by his friend, Gen. Samue
Houston, president of Texas, 25th December
1885,
The Southern members and others familia
with the traditions of the Capitol are quite in
dignant at the disappearance of what wa
known as the JEFF Davis fireplace 1t was a
old fireplace in the rear of the documen
room of the Senate. The apartment used /
be a committee room, and tradition say
that it was occupied by Jefferson Davis whe
a Senator. 1t was sort of a shrine at whic
the visitors at the Capitol used to worship
They often fingered fondly about it, and i
their Imagination saw the form of Mr.. Davi
basKing before the blazing wood fire, and dis
cussing with his associates the question
which led to the ''unpleasantness' of day