davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
China bad SUSPENSION bridges B.
Deafness Cannot be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portio ion of he ear. There is only one
way to cure Deafness, and that is by con4titu-
tional remedies. Deafne is caused by an in
famed condition of the mucous lining of the
Eustachan Tube. When this tube gets in
famed you have u rumbling sound or imper-
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is the result, and unless the inflam-
nation can be taken out and this tube re-
stored to its normal condition, hearing will be
destroyed forever; nine cases out ten are
caused by catarrh which is nothing but an in
famed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred ,llars for any
"ase of Deafness lcaused by catarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send fer
Circulars, free.
FL. CHENEY 6 Co.. Toledo, O.
kS Sold by Dru. .,gists 75c
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

beautiful and perfect in every re.
spect Interspersed among the draw
iags Of animals are limitations of the
footprints of each sort, the whole
space occupied being one hundred and
fifty feet long by fifty feet wide. To
what race the artist belonged, OF
what his purpose was in making these
rude portraits, must ever remain
mystery; but the work was evidently
done ages ago.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

or preventing the grippe, colds, headaches and
fevers is to use the liquid laxative remedy,
Syrup Of Figs, whenever the system needs .
gentle, yet effective cleansing To be benefited
one must get the true remedy manufactured
by the California Fig Syrup Co. only. For sale
by all druggists in SOC. and 81 bottles
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
CLARE WAS RATHER PLAIN s,.oKEs

'1f you should have what you want
most, Miss Clare" he asked tremu-
lously, "what-what would you ask
for?"
And his heart thumped against his
side until Miss Glare answered:
"Well, I think I'd chose either per.
mission to have clock in the parlor
or to look at my watch when it isn't
proper.
The young man thought ho saw
what Miss Glare wanted, and left
New York World.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
ALL BUT.


'Dear Mabel, do you love me?"
"O-h, Georgel"
'Don't you, Mabel? Just little
tiny bit?"
"W-e-ll, yes, George"
"And, if l married you, would your
father give us a separate establish
ment?"
eyes, George"
"And take me into partnership"
"Yes, George"
"And would your mother keep away
from lis, except when 1 invited her %
''She would, George"
"And your brothers and sisters too?"
"Why, certainly, George"
'And of course the old gent would
settle my debts?"
"Of course, George"
Darling, will you marry me?"
"No, George !"-Truth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS
STEwED CELERY.

Scrape and wash one or two heads
of celery, cut the stalks into two-inch
lengths and boil half an hour, or un-
til tender, in salted water. Drain off
the water, pour over the celery suffi-
cient cream sauce to cover, simmer a
few moments and serve. New York
World.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
HE KNEW HIS PLACE.

"How does the old man look upon
you as prospective son-in-law"
Don't know yet. Haven't got'far
enough along to sound him."
"He can't be blind to the fact that
you are an accepted beau?"
"Well, no; that is plain enough SO
far as the beau is concerned; but /
seem to be playing second fiddle all
the time. "-Kapsas City Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
ON HIS MIND.

Blaggins is one of the men who
speak disrespectfully of prominent
people. A great pianist was pointed
out to him recently with the remark :
"Do you note the weary expression
of his face? He seems to have great
deal on his mind, doesn't hep"
"a great deal on his mind?",re-
peated Blaggins, scornfully. "Oh, yes,
YOU mean hair"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

Mamma-Johnnie, why don't you
try and have as mic; table manners
us Harry Jones? Johnnie-Wcll, be-
cause Pm at home and he's a. a-visiting
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

Mrs. Nuwed-'I want to confess
something to you, dearest. 1 deceived
you about my age; it is more than 1
told YOU"
Mr.. Nuwed-- "Then may as we'll
reciprocate, darling. I deceived you
about my income; it is less than 1
told you. Harper Bazaar.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
South DakOta's Wealth

South Dakota has 80, 900 farms,
valued at 100000 900 on which are
raised 1900, 600 bushels of wheat
and $4,000, 900 OF corn and various
other cereals. The wild grasses yield
1,500,0 900 tons of hay and the wool
clip exceeds 5000, 900 pounds. The
Black Hill mines have yielded $780,
900, 900 of gold and silver.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
DOUBTLESS BLISS,

"Ya-a-s," said Willie Wibbles, with
a smile, about which there lurked a
shade of sadness. 81 am suah that
Miss Scrippins wegards me verwy
kindly; possibly. even with affection. I"
"What makes you think so?"
"You know how fond she is of that
poodle Jack Perkins gave her on her
birthday?"
eyes"
"Well, she told me lawst evening
that had ways that reminded her so
much of that poodle. ."-Washington
Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
A THRIFTY SOUL.

Mrs. Cheaply (returning joyously
from shopping tour)-"John, give
me 81, please"
Mr.. Cheaply-'What for?'
Mrs. Cheaply - ooh, I've got a
lovely bargain. gave only fifty nine
cents for beautiful hanging lamp"
Mr.. Cheaply-"But what's the "a
for?"
Mrs. Cheaply--"Why, 1 want to pay
the cabman 1 hired to bring it home
with me. Chicago Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
A BRILLIANT INTELLECT.

Teacher Johnnie, in what way did
Noah display his wisdom
Johnnie--"Went in when it was
rainin'. Chicago Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
Hnrd TiInns.

Politicians may debate and Congress may
iegislate, but there is one element OF distress
which makes thetimes very hard indeed, and
that Is cold winter and physical suffering.
Pains and aches are not set down in any
tariff list, and there is one reformer, st.
Jacobs Oil, that does not delay a promD
cure OF such evils.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
THOSE puzzLING FUTURES.

Mrs. Wonder" -"But / don't under
stand how men can make money in
buying and selling wheat that has
never been grown"
Mr.. Opshun (who has tried it,
"Neither do l. I."---Detroit Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
TAKING CHANCES.

She latter George had proposed)--
'You know, George, papa is thinking
seriously of giving up our home"
He-"Well, dear, man who is in
love as I am ought to be willing to
take some chance !"-Boston Tran
script.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
A POPPING QUESTION.

Johnnie-'I wonder why they call
these parlor matches?"
Tommy--'I guess it's cause they
are the kind that pops. Halo.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
SERVE THE SAME PURPOSE.

Customer Have you copy of
"FIfteen Decisive Battles?"
Bookseller sir; we are sold
ont. But we can give you ''Rehec-
tions of n Married Man. It'd Bits.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
ITS COST.

Digby-"Where did you get the
new hat?"
Higby-"At my hatter's."
Digby-"What did it cost?'
Higby-"All friend of mine knew
about how the last election was COM
ing out"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
-. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O
eS Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Cologne has 300 year old rose tree.

FoR CouaHs AND THROAT DIsoRDERs use
ERowN' BRONCHIAL TRoCaH5 Have never
changed my mind respecting them except
think better of that which began by think.
ing well of."-Rep. Henry Ward Bsschsr. Sold
only In boxes
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
INTELLECT.

Cholles-" "Hal hal ha hal l just
heard such an awful good joke.
Fwed-"What was it p
Cholles--"Aw-Tve fohgotten. -
Chicago Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
A NE1eHBoR's MISTAKE.

Little Miss Freckles--"Your sister
is takin' music lessons, amt she|
Little Miss Mugg Eyes, she's going
to learn to play and sing"
"'Is that wot it's for?'
"Of course"
"Then my papa made mistake
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
MANS VANITY.

''Do you mean to say" said one
woman to another, ''that your husband
will get up in the middle of the night
to chase burglars?"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

Barclay, author OF the Argenis, in his
leisure hours was a florist
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

"How?"
"He said he guessed your papa
wan ted to buy tn next door neighbor's
house at sacrifice. Good News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

Ifaff1icted with sore eyes use DIR. Isaac Thomp-
sons Eye-water. Druggists sell at 25c per bottle,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

Mornings-Eeecham's Pills will q drink OF
water. Beecham's-no others. rs cents a box.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

The Most Plcnsnnt Wny

Great Britain consumes on e-third
Of the worlds crop of cotton.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
California has 100 Turkish farmers.

IIatch's Universal Cough Syrup is a Positive
cure for Group. % cents at druggists,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
pIeNIFIEpLy AMBIGUOUS.

Pedestrian Pete-"What did you
ask fur at the house up the road?"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF.
"Grinder is about to realize all the
dreams of his life"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

"How did you manage it?"
81 made him believe I think he is
brave, and he thinks that by going
down stairs with the poker he is keep
ing up very large reputation at a
comparatively small risk. Washing.
ton Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19
Spubley-"Rich uncle dead ?"

Snubley-"Kichu uncle dead?"
"No; his wife has graduated from
a cooking school that teaches the
making of thirteen different kinds of
pie. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

P. P.-"And wot did you git?"
I. I.-"Cold shoulder. New York
Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-02-19

THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
Lost and Found-A Popping Question
A Brilliant Intellect-Serve the
Same Purpose, Etc.
"Ah, me p cried the heavy villain
AS his arms toward heaven he tost,
''If perchance / am discovered
Then sure am lost, lost lost !"
Then up spake boy in the gallery high,
There's too much OF that 70 20 round.
For II by chanceyou're discovered
Why then you are found, found, found"
Judge.
BRILLIANT INTELLEcT.
"Johnnie, in what way did
Noah display his wisdom?"
Johnnie-"Went in when it was
rainin'. Chicago Record.
n POIPlNS QOEolioN.
Johnnie-'I wonder why they call
these parlor matches?"
Tommy--'I guess it's cause they
are the kind that pops. "-Hallo.
INrELLECT.
Cholles--" "Hal hal ha! hal I just
heard such an awful good joke.
Fwed-"What was 2"
Cholles-"A "Aw-I've fohgotten. -
Chicago Record.
SERVE THE SAME PURPOSE.
Customer -"Have you copy of
"FIfteen Decisive Battles?"
Bookseller-"No, sir; we are sold
ont. But we can give you "Rehec-
tions of Married Man. "--Tid-Bits.
THOSE PUzzLING PICTURES.
Mrs. WONDER don't under
stand how men can make money in
buying and selling wheat that has
never been grown"
Mr.. Opshun (who has tried it,
"Neither do l. I."---Detroit Tribune.
DIGNIFIEDLY AMBIGUOUS.
Pedestrian Pete-"What did you
ask fur at the house up the road?"
Inherent Ike-'I asst fur some cold
vittles."
P. P.-"And wot did you git?"
I. I.-"Cold shoulder. New York
Press.
TAKING CHANCES.
She latter George had proposed)--
"You know, George, papa is thinking
seriously of giving up our home"
He-"Well, dear, a man who is in
love as am ought to be willing to
take some chance l''-Boston Tran
script.
Digby-"Where did you get the
new hat?"
Higby-"At my hatter's."
Digby-"What did it cost?"
Higby-"All friend of mine knew
about how the last election was COM
ing out"
STUFF THAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF.
"Grinder is about to realize all the
dreams of his life"
Snubley-"Rich uncle dead?"
"No; his wife has graduated from
a cooking school that teaches the
making of thirteen different kinds of
pie. Chicago Inter Ocean.
BOTH DECEIVED.
Mrs. Nuwed-'I want to confess
something to you, dearest. 1 deceived
you about my age; it is more than l
told You"
Mr.. Nuwed-- "Then I may as well
reciprocate, darling. l deceived you
about my income; it is less than l
told you. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
ON HIS MIND.
Blaggins is one of the men who
speak disrespectfully of prominent
people. A great pianist was pointed
out to him recently with the remark
"Do you note the weary expression
of his face? He seems to have great
deal on his mind, doesn't he?"
"a great deal on his mind?"re-
peated Blaggins, scornfully. "Oh, yes,
you mean hair"
CHILLING" IMPRESSION.
Fogg-"Was up to Grosgrain's last
evening. His daughter spoke OF you.
You have made an impression there,
you young rascal. "
Fenderson-'I believe I am some
thing of lady killer.
Fogg-"Yes; the Grosgrain girls
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-23
HLOWING HIS HJRS.

Brother Clinton B. Davis Of Hig- ganum yesterday made an uttersnee which will probably be described by Democratic writers and speakers as a trumpet note or a bugle call, but which was really the note Of q horn used to aid the sale Of clans. And Il Is evi- dent that Brother Davis doesn't mean 10 have his clans left on his hands If horn- blowing will make market for them.
 According to Brother Davis Victory is flying around this neighborhood eag- erly awaiting q chance to perch on the Democratic standard. It will wait for the standard because 1t has thoroughly learned the danger of trying to perch on a Democratic platform. It has discovered, as everybody else has. that Democratic platforms are not in- tended for perching places. Brother Davis vision includes more than a perching vlctory..It includes prosperity as result of the Democratic bargain with the Sugar trust and other trusts. It includes n Democratic party as har- monious as German and Cleveland, and 1t includes Democratic State tickets and Democratic congressional tickets that will satisfy all who are satisfied with them. 1t also includes Constitutional Reform. And 1t is mo- ticeable that Brother Davis is sure that Constitutional Reform is the thing the Democrats want to talk about In Connecticut this fall. He says they don't want to talk about the tariff question, for that was settled and dis posed of by congress, and the people of Connecticut have therefore no fur ther interest in it. Settled and dis posed of is good. When Brother Davis and his shrewd plans have been set tied and disposed Of by thls very tafll1 question he will see that the tariff is still at least a local issue, even if he doesn't say so.
 There is no doubt that Brother Davis knows how to blow a horn. But he will not find business good. These are hard times, and the people can't afford to buy his clans. It is as much as they can do to get the necessaries of life, and the sound of his horn is more exasperating than cheering.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-23
RHINE VINE.

German Peassnts Get More of the Pure
 Article Than Foreign Consumers.
 was told everywhere that very little or no pure Rhine wine ever reached the market. Most every wine grower adul- terates, especially that part of his crops which he intends to sell. This .adultera- tion and manufacture of Rhine wine is carried on more especially by wine mer- chants, who have ample cellar and cask facilities and water supply, for that pur- pose. They use one-quarter to one-sixth per cent. pure grape juice and the bal ance water, and with the aid of raisins, sugar and some chemicals produce the Rhine wine which is usually found upon the market
 I was in cellar in a certain village, each holding fifteen to twenty barrels, in which the mixture was in the act of fermenting. This was in the month of May-seven months after the regular season.
 Whenever I visited among the peas- ants Rhine wine was served, and be- cause I hesitated to drink it as freely as they are accustomed to, they would in- variably give me their assurance that this was no manufactured stuff" but natural wine (natur wein), of which they had some "for their own house." and I need not be afraid to drink it.
 What constitutes the natural wine" is the pure grape juice, fermented, with out the addition of sugar or anything else, and consequently such wine seldom contains more than or g per cent. of alcohol. Another point in favor of pure Rhine wine is the total absence of bran dy, an ingredient with which the wines of Spain, Portugal and Sicily are almost invariably fortified to the utter destruc- tion of their flavor and the injury of the health of the consumer. The diseases which attack spirit drinkers, chiefly dis orders of the liver, are commonly met with among consumers of fortified wines. That the addition of alcohol to wine is unnecessary for it's preserva- tion is proved by the fact that pure Rhine wines often retain their excel lence for half a. century. The very property of keeping is indeed mainly at- tributable to the fact that the fermenta- tion Is more perfect in the Rhenish wines than in those of Spain and Portu- gal, where fermentation is checked by the addition of brandy. With the white wines of France the same object is ef- fected by sulphuration. By these proc esses the richness and sweetness of new wines are artiicially and unwhole- somely retained. j +
 found that the acreage of the vine yards had been materially increased everywhere, and 1t seemed the Rhine wine business was enjoying a boom" On account of the reputation which the Rhine wines have enjoyed in the past for wholesomeness and delicacy of fla vor. this extensive manufacture of an artificial and impure article will cer- tainly prove disastrous to the wine- growers in a very few years.-Corres- pondence of the Nashville Republican.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-23
The humon race cannot be made pros- porous and happy by law.


 A Berlin military Journal publishes an important article on the practical working Of the new army law. Accord ing 10 the writer. who is himself dis tinguished officer. this law has entirely fulfilled the expectation of its support CTS. He says: The reduction of the term of service has in no way affected the thorough tactical training of the Ger. man infantry. As was foreaeen in re- sponsibie quarters with such advanced and thorough methods as the accumu' lated experience of the past has devel- oped in the German army. even two years service Is proving entirely ade- quate 10 form a soldier equal to all the tactical and military requirements of the modern science of war. More than that. the new law has tended to in- crease an advantage of great tactical importance which the German infantry already possessed over the infantry of all other European countries. The peace strength of every German com pany of infantry has been raised by at least l50 men. This means not only q tactical training and experience which approach more nearly to the condi- tions of actual warfere than arc to be found anywhere else. but 1t means also very considerable addition to the tactical efficiency of the infantry in time of war. Military men will not be slow 10 appreciate the increased value which as a fighting instrument the German army must in future derive from the operation of the new law.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-23
A Strictly Texas Pleasantly.

A. F.. Macauley of Fort Worth was in Greenville. Tex. a few days ago se1- ling to an old customer. As he relates himself:
 ,''."The strictly Texan joke that was played upon me while was filling that order would have caused nervous man to have had St. vitus' dance in five minutes. had just closed the deal and was preparing promissory notes for my customer to sign. Leaning over his front counter I showed him the form of one of the notes, terms and conditions. Just then from the door, way a pistol shot was fired and a bull let cut it's way through the center ot the note. narrowly missing my custom CT and burying itself. in some shelv- ing. ~-.,
 ''Of course I looked around. Two burly cowboys stood at the door,, each with drawn gun, and one of them exclaimed: No blankety-blank Yan- kee can sell goods in this town" and with that shot whistled over my head and another went whistling past my back. Still another went into the cell ing. My customer did not seem very much disturbed, but smiled in a dep recatory manner on the two. con cluded that it was best for me, to stand still, but after 8 yolley had been shot into the wooden ceiling and an. other into the floor I beckoned the en. tire outfit out of the back door, and we proceeded to irrigate a parched soil.
 "I found the shootists perfectly gen. tlemen, barring slight tendency te shoot at anything and everything They bore me no i'll will-only perform ed their little act as . matter ot hu- mor. But I had those notes signed without further delay and went on my way" -.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-23
SIGNS.

He-Why do you think they are mar ried? She-I heard her ask him for a kiss last night.-Life.
 You should do something for others every day if it be nothing more than to tell them disagreeable truth.-Galves- ton News.
 Mildred-I wouldn't marry the best man in the world! MT. Sutor-There is no danger. The bride never gets the best man.-Tit-Bits.
 Now" said the storekeeper as he gazed proudly at the lettering on his l new brass sign, that's what I call
 polished English. sh."-Washington Star. Becker-I see by the posters that Footlights, the tragedian, travels under his wifes management. Decker-So do
 most men, but they don't advertise it,
 Brooklyn Life.
 Herbert proposed last night and-''
 I.ottie-You tilted him. How did you
 guess it, dear?" Lottie-He seemed so
 unusually light-hearted and happy
 Chicago Inter-Ocean.
 It is now asserted by astronomers that the inhabitants of the planet Mars
 are trying to signal us. Probably some woman wants to know if her hat is on
 raight.-Dansville Breeze.
 Topsy-Mamma. ought to be kind to the cat? Mamma-Certainly my child. Why do you ask? Topsy-Be-
 cause I've given it all the cream, and there's none for tea.-Tit-Bits. Blobbs-What are you doing with your football suit on? Not going to play this kind of weather? Hicks No; but I'm going to see old Moneybags and ask him for his daughters hand.- Philadelphia Record.
 That's a beautiful coat you have on. How much did it cost you?" Twenty-Five cents" "Why, how is that?" 70, the confounded tailor sent 1t home by express and I had to pay the charge.-Texas Siftings. Rambler-That Bartlett girl thinks a great deal of me. When I told her I was going around the world she asked me to be sure and write her from every place I visited. Wilter-Yes; she is collecting postage stamps.-New York Sun.
 Eminent Chess Player-My dear, would you like to so on a short pleasure trip---say week or ten days? His Wife-How can we go? You haven't finished your championship game with
 Herr Grosskopf, have you? Eminent
 Chess Player-No, but I have fully
 decided on my next move.-Harlen1 Life. . After all," remarked the thoughtful
 young man, there's such a thing as
 having more money than you need. A
 man can't enjoy more than one thing
 at a time." That's verwy twue," re-
 piled Cholly. "A fellow lcawn't smoke
 cigawette and chew a toothpick
 both at once, can he"-Washington
 Star. No Bias.-Johnson-I have been
 chosen as arbitrator in the matter of those labor troubles on the X., Y. and Z Road! Thompson-Why,) you are a
 stockholder in that road. Johnson
 That's just it. Everybody wanted a
 disinterested party. and the stockhold.
 CTS haven't receiveda dividend in fif- teen years.-Puck.