Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-07-08
The Respective Duties Of the Hostess
and Her Guests.
SUMNER HOSPITALITY.
The Model visitor-Her Rarity and Charm.
Now Modes OF Entertaining Ones
Friends In the Country.
Correspondence OF the Dispatch.)


as In all social matters. the tendency Is
TO copy the English costumes, and, con-
sidering that the English invented and
perfected the house party, this seems a
wise thing 10 do-wth notifications, and
allowing for the superior expensiveness
and cordially Of American manners.
INVITATIONS.
In writing an invitation the length Of
time the guest is expected to remain
should be explicitly stated-in justice 10
him or her. Do not say "a few days" or
'as long as you find IL pleasant" but say
definitely from Saturday to Monday"
from the 10th to the 18TH" or the
week" as the case may be, which en-
ables the guest to perfect his arrange
ments for coming and going with greatest
satisfaction, and certainly TO both him
self and the host, and does away with
the necessity for any perfunctory press
ing for longer stay when the time OF
departure arrives. When guest has
been invited for definite time, ne knows
that an extension Of the invitation arises
from a real desire for his society, and not
from mere polite hypocrisy.
In the Invitation 1t is also wei, II other
their names. No one can b. expected to
keep Informed Of the likes and dislilses OF
all their acquaintance, and when one
knows whom one Is likely to meet one
can decide whether several days in
country house with these fellow-guest5
would be agreeable or not. For example,
Miss Brown, who has just refused Mr..
Jones, would hardly be inclined to accept
Mrs. Smiths invitation If she knew the
forlorn swain was to be of the party; or
If Mr.. Robinson was aware that that
odious Johnson, who always forgets that
they have ever been presented 70 each
other. is to sit opposite MIN at breakfast
for six days. he will find an excuse, and
not only will he be spared unpleasant con-
tact with a person he dislikes. but Mrs
Smith will not be made to regret having
asked uncOsgenial guests.
IN THE MATTER OF DATES.
Another point upon which both host and
guest should exercise care is to be quite
sure that they understand each other On
the matter Of dates. The formula should
be something ike this:
Dear Miss Jones:
can you give us the pleasure OF a few
| days visit in June, from the 10Th to the
18th. Your friends. the Carys, come to us
! then, and will enjoy their visit all the
more If you can meet them here. CCrt-
landt Newdigate, Miss chanler, the
! Brcokfields, ana Professor Schlieman form
the party, and it only needs your pres.
ence to make it delightfully."- complete. If
you can come, the best train is the one
! leaving the Grand Central station at 80
p. NJ, arriving at birmingham at $40. The
carriage will meet you. Pray make MY
compliments to your mother, and believe
me, very sincerely, yours,
EDITH WESTPORT.
May 2Sth."
In answering Miss Jones should say:
Dear Mrs. Westport:
''Thank you very much for the kind in
vitation TO Westport Hall from June 10th
10 18th The people you mention are all
! friends or acquaintance Of mine, End
i shall greatly enjoy meeting them. I
| shall leave here on the 10th by the $3.50
train, and look forward with infinite plea
sure to five delightful days with you.
Mamma is well, and sends her Kind re-
CARDS. Believe me, dear Mrs. Westport,
very sincerely yours
ALICE VAN ASTOR JONES.
"May 30th."
COMPOSING A. HOUSE-PARTY.
zone of the most difficult feats Of all
ones social life is getting the right people
together" said a popular young woman
who was making up list for n series of
dinners. "My method is to think out my
dinner six weeks beforehand, and care
fully select eight people whom / know TO
be Of the same social standing near
enough in age TO be cOngenial. and of the
same general tastes; then / write down
the names of four more as alternatives in
1 Of f-la h.. la.f
moment"
'1teally" exclaimed her friend In amaze
ment. Il never think of such a thing.
When l make up my mind to give a din
ner / just ask a lot Of people whom
! owe dinners to, and let it go at that.
Perhaps that is why my parties are never
as gay and successful as i would like
them to be-"
And the latters method being the more
common one, is one reason why not only
dinners and house parties so frequently
fail of the giver's intention Of giving
pleasure to her friends.
A house party especially requires very
careful forethought in its composition.
as the members of II are to be thrown in
intimate contact for several long days.
and If they can find no point Of congenial
contact they not only bore one another
terribly. but throw q great added burden
The rule that the woman. whose words
! have been quoted. followed in compost
ton of her dinners would serve cutie
well for the more important affair Of
country-house visits. one young person
among a grave and reverend company
of elders. or one senior In a party of
juniors. Is naturally at a loss. and one
I frivolous votary OF fashion alone In litera
ry party is as little likely TO be happy
as savant amid crowd of sportsmen.
| good plan Is TO choose some person OF
! Importance whom one delights particular
| ~ to honor, and build the party around
! him or her-asking such as are likely 10
amuse the guest Of honor, and such as
will be fattered to meet a famous artist.
! poet, novelist, scientist. millionaire. sports
man, traveller musician. or leader of fash
ion-as the case may be. one wit should
be asked to amuse them all. but two
of the sort are liable to be hampers TO
each other and two lions are likely TO
be Jealous. If unmarried women are OF
the party. be sure they have an equal
number OF unmarried men 10 match, OF
bitter heart-burnings and piques may re-
suit.
ARRIVALS.
In ENGLAND there is no obligation upon
the hostess to meet her guests on arrival.
She makes all preparations for their COM
fort, and then should she be called away
for any reason the guest is not surprised
TO be received only by housekeeper or
butler and not to see her hostess until
the next meal. The greater cordiality OF
American manners dictates the presence
of some member Of the family 10 meet the
guests newly arrived. There is much to
be said for this plan. as by few words
the hostess can put the guest on courant
of her plans for amusement and of the
hours for meals. &c.
In England each bedroom contains a
pretty scroll, hanging well in view, upon
which are given the hours of meals. and
of the going out and coming in of the
post.
Luggage should be arranged for at the
earliest moment possible. and servant
should unlock 1t and unpack the guests
belongings dispoSing OF them in the draw