The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-07
HOW THE BRITISH
BEAT 'PHRASTUS.

"N' size says l sha'n't spend one cent
for crackers ner torpydos, ner 60 down
to see the p'rade, Ter any of the boys.
She says I've got to stay hum and keep
still this Fourth"
The prospect was evidently dire to
Theophrastus Wilson, but the person
to whom he poured out his woes only
twinkled q pair of merry eyes. Harvey
Harris was several years older than
'Phrastus, but he listened with an In
terest very comforting to the smaller
boy.
"She says 1 kin take the old boss
Distle n fire it off once down behind
the barn. N I kin tie dads old flag
to a broom stick and wave 1t about all
I wanter. Who wants an old broom
stick round, anyway? That amt no
Fourth of July"
'Phrastus sniffed-he almost snivell-
ed. His hearer laughed outright.
"Say, 'Phrastus, what under the can
cpy did you do last Fourth that makes
Aunt 'Scilla settle down on you ike
thisT
"Nothin'," said 'Phrastus, sullenly.
"Oh, pshaw! I know you and I
know Aunt Priscilla. She'd never cor
ner you up so close without some rea-
son.. Honest, now, out with 1t, and
Ill see what / can do for you"
.'There was a cat" said 'Phrastus,
digging his toes into the ground.
"What about the catY"
"She told me to give him his dinner,
md I put u fire-cracker under the pan.
1t didn't. hurt him none, but he never
coma fer n week: nd he won't tech
Goldfish sence."
'Oh, no! What else?"
1.-The settin' hen," said 'Phrastus,
scratching his right ear. Il knowed
she wanted her broke up, n l bet a
couple o. crackers'd do it."
N"Well, did they?"
s.Guess you'd "a thought SO! They
set the nest afire, and most burnt up
the chicken-house." I'hrastus actually
grinned.
"Ah, ha! Go ahead; that wasn't all.
What put ON the finishing touchY'
II s'pose twas the new Wash-biler,"
said 'Phrastus, frowning. I'VE TUX. Il
ont behind the barn to light a bunch
In. My, didn't they pop! Then we fer
got It tcetotal. and como wash-day no.
body knowed where the b1ler was"
And when they found it,"
.'Bnthin' had stepped on it," muttered
YhYAstus. "But / don't think folks
ought to hold things a hull year."
Harvey threw his head back and
Laughed 80 heartily that 'Phraetus
stopped frOwning and giggled.
snow, look here said Harvey, when
he had had his laugh out, 81 haven't
forgotten how you found Frowsy fol
me last summer, and if you'll promise
not to use them round the house Of
the barn, or anywhere where they'll
disturb Aunt 'Scllla, I'll put half q
dozen picks under the big stone be.
hind the barn for you Fourth Of July
morning
TITS awful good Of your 'Phrastus's
cheeks grew shining red. There shall
not nobody hear 'em 'cept me; TN
take 'em down to the woods. And ssy,
I'll hunt your dog every time hs geta
lost-donf ydl give any otner teller
the lab. Wlnt they got inzthat wag.
oni7's9Ass
/ must be the Engliah ram Nj.
Turner's been buying, Z raid HAr-
vey, I'D he turned to look. Gave
.tMo-hMndrcd dollars Tor him. I guess
III walk down and pee him when they
take Hun mt !,
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. for ! sheeprll'r'
,Phypst1s hOpped over the fence md
trottcd al0n9 by Nm haG9d'A stde.
Whit \ pile q money IN Nh heepl
Say, Harvey, q gly0nsjest 90 lle9 Snnfa ~
sasboxaDf mat0hee a 0scent m ee10
'0K two D them hunohes &
ssSSt ltef s4 lsc