davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
NEJy.

this term? Boy-Yesm; I'm studying yellocution.-Good News.
 Attorney (badgering witness)-Now sir, would you like to swear Wit l ness-Yes, I would.-Plain Dealer. There is no work so hard as trying 10 keep up the impression that you art | good fellow.-Atchison Globe.
 Collector-Say, look here, I'm tired oi calling here about this bill. The Debtor-Well. I'm mighty glad to heal it.-Life.
 We cannot tell how soon we shal have to leave this earthly sphere. Ever the hours of 0 clock are numbered Yonker's Blade.
 Jimson-Is Jackson making money Billson-I guess so. He has begun calling his customers his clientele New York Weekly.
 De can'date dat gifts defeated" said Uncle Eben, lam mighty hand ter con. vince dat de worr am progressin' in en- lightenment." ashington Star.
 Tom-Did Maud tell you the truth when you asked her her age? Jack Yes. Tom-What did she say? Jack She said it was none of my business Yankee Blade.
 "Isn't it queer," said Maud, 'I've never seen my fiance?" "What Never seen him?" "No," said Maud. Eve never seen him. He's never asked me."-Harper's Bazar.
 Man-The prettiest girls always mar ry the biggest fools. Maud-Mr. Snoopenhauser, I esteem you highly, but 1t is useless to try to carry me off my feet with glittering generalities.- Detroit Tribune.
 Professor Won Gookenheimer, they say, is most marvellous mind-reader and hypnotist." "Yes; he claims he can attract the attention of a restau- rant waiter by merely looking at him steadily for half an hour."-Life.
 Mrs. Houser-The paper says the party leaders are arranging to get to- gether. What Is that for, I wonder Houser-Hump! suppose it's because they ain't satisfied with what they're getting separately.-Buffalo Courier.
 Mrs Raftery-Why is ut, Pat, that oysters do be out af sayson during the summer? MT. Raftery-Sure I am surproised at ye that ye don't know that. The oysters are hibernating dur ing the summer, af coorse.-Harlem Life.
 So she told you no when you pro- posed," said the syrnpathizing friend. "Yes," replied Willie Wibbles, with a sigh. 'tIt worries me good deal, too. hate paradoxies." Was this one?" T should say so. You wouldn't imag- inc that anybody could be so positively negative. ."-Washington Star.
 My good woman," said the learned judge, you must give an answer in the fewest possible words of which you are capable, to the plain and simple ques- tion whether, when you were crossing the street with the baby on your arm, and the omnibus was coming down on the right side and the cab on the left and the brougham was trying to pass the omnibus, you saw the plaintiff be- tween the brougham and the cab, or whether and when you saw him at all, and whether or not near the brougham, cab, and omnibus. or either, or any two, and which of them respectively or how it was."-Philadelph Times.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
The Art of Weighing Ones Self.

Many persons weigh themselves ire quently and imagine that they know their weight. Sweet illusion! Nothing is more difficult than to know ones weight exactly, even with access to first class scales. We hear one say, T am making flesh, have increased two pounds" and another, T am get ting into form, I weigh three pounds less;;" but while do not wish to make myself disagreeable, especially to peo- pie who keep account of their weight, I am convinced that in most of such cases there is really not an ounce of gain or loss: or if there is any varia- tion, it is not what the scales record. A lady goes into store, weighs her. self, and receives a card: August 15, one hundred and twenty pounds. She goes to the country, and returning af- ter several months, weighs herself again in the same store and receives a card. on which she finds inscribed: November 22, one hundred and twenty six pounds She has gained six pounds in three months and ascribes 1t to the change, the fresh air, etc. She feels happy-good weight, good health.
 But is this increase real? In nine cases out of ten it is only apparent, due mainly to wearing more or heavier clothes, thicker boots, etc. The ordina- ry methods for determining variations in weight give absolutely fallacious re
 sults The causes which influence weight are numerous, and rarely taken into consideration. For example, was the weight taken immediately after breakfast. or long after; or following active exercise attended with free per spiration? \
 l have weighed myself regularly eve ry day, at the same hour in the morn ing and under identical conditions. and to-day possess a record of five years experiments conducted with the ut most precision. Every day when weighing myself record the barorne- tric and hygrometric variations, the temperature, and the dinner menu for the day. These experiments have con vinced me more than ever that our weight is in a perpetual state of huctu- ation. After eliminating the errors of the instrument. our weiEht varie4 aiallsa
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

THE DECEi1FULNE s OF RICHES.
 Those men to whom one of the Rothsctilds generously gave their share of his great wealth got an impressive object lesson in the equal distribution of wealth. The Quarterly Review has made a study of the naturalization of wealth which may serve to open some eyes. It points out to start with that wealth and money are not interchange able terms, and adds that whosoever would realize the difference may do so by imagining himself social reformer heading company of 800 progressive thinkers in the enterprise of national izing, among themselves, mansion which, with its contents, is worth f2oo,- 900. Each of the 800 should, if the ad- vanced expectation were correct, be- come richer to the extent of f40O, but the expectation is illusionary, and the re- suits of the measure would be disap- pointing. The company might find wine enough to keep them in good cheer for a week, food enough for thirty of them a days meal, and bedclothes for thirty virtuous progressive couches. Those things, however, would account for only a small portion of the f200,000 Where would the bulk of that great sum be? An exhaustive search might lead to the finding of f50 in coin of the realm; but at least f100,0O would be represented by pictures, books, and other works of art, furniture, china, guns, and fishing rods. Now, if the standardization of wealth were going on, in the same manner, all over the land, those things would be practically valueless. The reformer who, having expected f4OO. found him. self possessed as his share of the booty, with Sevres broth basin, or a portrait of Dutch burgomaster, would feel him. self poorly used; and the five humanita- rian philosophers whose share was a buhl cabinet in joint stock would be in even more evil plight. All the 800 would discover that affairs are not as they seem, and that 1t would have been we'll if, before quitting the old order to make things new, the community had been quite sure that it understood the deceitfulness of riches.
 Moral: Some things that are plausi- ble may not be sensible.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

ject to innumerable influences, After breakfast. on warm day. one loses more than one hundred and fifty grammes an hour. .
 How then are you to arrive at your true weight when 1t is subject to such incessant fluctuations? When we re- member that seventy per cent. Of our body is water. there is little difficulty in understanding that our weight must vary continually with the transportation of moisture; moreover. 1t varies with the pressure of the atmosphere. The mere variations in atmospheric humid ity suffice to account for a change of more than a pound, and other causes may suffice to account for another pound. The person who weighs only at intervals may infer from this that he Is growing lighter or heavier, but the conclusion is unwarranted. There are will tell you that their weight never changes. This. too. is an error; 1t Is constantly fiuctuating. The fault Is generally that the scales used do not record variations of a pound or so. For ordinary purposes this is of no conse- quence but for recording changes of weight in sickness 1t is of very serious moment. The scales are not without their importance in medical practice, especially with infants The weight of an infant increases in definite propor- ton during the first weeks of life, and there can be no departure from this regularity of increase without impair ment of health. For adult persons, too, 1t Is good to consult the scales, for they are the barometer of health. Any sud- den increase of weight, amounting to a pound or so in a day, indicates ten dency to disease. It is evidence of health when the weight does not fluc- tuate more than three or four ounces from day to day. Great fiuctuation implies functional derangement.-Dr. De Parville in Le Correspondent.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

vet ciasped tight and high about the throat. loops extending at the sides and ends. and tabs depending to just cover or shroud the ugly places may be worn with decollette dresses and the wearer be as pretty as the plumper girl. In- deed. even girls with plump necks are sometimes the prettier for some bit of color close about the throat. So 1t is that the decollettage Is often used with a collarette by plump girls to allow the thin ones to feel such e device is not confession of defects.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

It will encourage those whose vision is limited to know that, taking the earth as the center of the universe, and the Polar Star as the limit of our wis., ion, the visible universe embraces an aerial space with a diameter of 420,- 000,000,OOO miles. and circumference of 1, 1928, TAP 900, 900 miles.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
The latter rains seem to be more pro fuse than the early ones were.

The man who ran for governor of form received only 1O3 votes. He prom ised to serve, If elected, at half the usual salary, but the people were not looking for bargains in governors.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
EASHION NOTES.

Styles for Slender Ones, ,.. The collarette is invaluable to the wo- man whose neck has the big cavities called salt .cellars, 4 fold of soft vel
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
THECARRlNGToN PUBLISHING co.
Advertising isates.

Situations. Wants, Rents and other small ad- yertisementa, Ono Cent . Word each inser- ion. Five cents word for rul week tseven Gmes).
 Display Advcrtisements-Por inch. one ins sertion, N .2O; each subsequent insertion, 70 cents; one week, S3.D: one month, $l0 one year, S40.
 Obituary notices. in prose or verse. K cents per lnc. Notices Of Births, Marriages. Deaths and Funerals, 5O cents each. Local notices. k cents per line.
 Yearly advertisers are limited 10 their own immediate business tall matter to be unobjec- tionablel, and their contracts do not include Wants. To Lot, For Sale, etc.
 Discounts-On two inches or moro, ono month and over, Upper cent; on four inches CT more. ono month and over. l5 per cont.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

The women of Colorado are to be credited, not only with going to the polls where they had chance, but with voting right after they got there. No lots in that State in the recent cleo ton. that being 90 per cent. of their registered vote, against 80 per cent. cast by the men. They threw just ten morevotes altogether than were ly voted against Populism, as repre- sented by Governor Waite, notwith- standing that suffrage was conferred on them under his administration.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
F M Br0Wn5CO.
SPECIAL COMMITTEE x
 Revision of tho City Charter,

THE Special Committee to whom has been l referred the report of the Commission on the Revision of the Charter of the City of New Haven will give PUBLIC HEARINGS in the chamber of the Board of Aldermen, City Hall. on Monday evening, November 18th; on Monday evening, Noyember 26th on Wednesday evening, November 2sth.
 The subjects to be considered at these hearings will be as follows:
 Monday evening, November 19th-The re- port of the Commission; general discussion of the whole subject i.
 Monday evening, November 26tt-The Mayor and Executive Officers; their powers and duties. &
 Tuesday evening, November 27th-The Commissions and Common Council.
 Wednesday evening, November 2sth-The Consolidation of the Town, City and School Governments.
 The hearings will commence promptly at 7:30 o'clock. E.
 All persons interested in the foregoing are hereby notified to appear and be heard there Onswitnout further notice.
 JOHN CURRIER GALLA CHER, Chairman
 Attest: EDWARD A. STREET,
 nl6 Assistant City Clerk.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

: An interesting work bearing on the records of Massachusetts soldiers dur ing the Revolutionary war, is being done under the direction of the chief of the archives department of the secre- tary of states office at Boston. The
 basis of the work is collection of muster and pay-roqls. In original pack ages. which have lain undisturbed for
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

Ballot reform Is called for even in Georgia. One after another the lead ing journals of the State are taking up the cry. The Savannah News, which is a Democratic paper, declares that not only is there need of better law, but that those guilty of illegal acts at the last election should be held strictly to account. With those who commit frauds upon the ballot" it says, "there ought not to be, and weI do not see how there can be, any sympathy whatever. Such frauds are crimes of the gravest character, and are certain sooner or later to prove the ruin of the party that winks at them or profits by them"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
Notice.

We cannot accept anonymous or return re- sected communications. In all cases the name ot the writer will be required, not for pubica- tion but as a guarantee of good faith.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22
Womb Troubles,

The whole story, however, is told in an illustrated book entitled "Guide to Health," by Mrs. Pinkham. It con- tains over 90 pages of most important information, which every woman, mar self. Send 3 tWO-cent stamns for if. For
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

One of the most powerful dredges in the world has lately been constructed In Scotland. Formerly when 1t was re- quired to make a channel through rocks, it was customary to drill and blast and then dredge out the broken material, but recent dredges are suff1- ciently powerful to cut their way through rock without preliminary blast ing. The new dredge has been con- structed to meet requirements of an important channel at Bermuda, and is of special workmanship. It is the larg- est in the world, having a displacement of 2,2O0 tons, and is built entirely of steel; length, POS feet; beam, 40 feet; depth, 17 feet inches. The dredging gear, ladder and bucket chain weigh about 100 tons. The bucket ladder is fitted with ten powerful buffer springs. to cushion any shocks that may be ex- perienced while at work. The vessel will dredge to depth of forty-five feet below the water level.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

A remarkable romance in real life has just been rounded off in Oregon. About twenty-nine years ago James Hard went to work for a farmer named Ar mold, in Jackson county, Oregon. and few months later married Arnold's step- daughter. Soon after trouble arose be- tween the two men. Arnold took his daughter. away from Hard, and when Hard went after her the two men quar- relied and the result was Arnold was shot dead and Hard fled the State. His wife secured divorce and remarried, Her husband died a few years ago. Three years ago Hard returned to Jackson county, was recognized, arrest ed for the murder of Arnold, and sent to the penltentiary for a long term. During his trial his former wife visited him frequently, the old love revived, and she worked her hardest to secure his release. She circulated a petition for his pardon, and after two years her efforts were successful, and Hard was released. A few days ago the two were reunited in marriage near their first home.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-11-22

Extreme Lassitude, "don't care" and "want to be left alone" feeling, exci- liability, irritability, nervousness, sleep. !essness, flat1lepcy, melancholy, or tho cure indications of Female Weakness, some derangement of the Uterus. or
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1894-11-01

this curious ace Of people will have
nearly set. Already the note Of an.
p~roacning dissolution of the tribe ia
sounded in the McCrae bill. which
provides for the selling of the public
.ands IN the ieservatit n at public auc.
hon; This measure is in the interests
OF the cattlemen, and is regarded "a
an outrage against the poor citizens
VINO are clamoring for homes in this.
almost the last, remnant OF the public
9Omaln. The reservation consists of
:Oo.OO acres, and is of great value. II
Is tim bered, well watered. and the soil
in the South Canadian River valley ia
a. back AID rich as Illinois prairie
lOar.
The Kickap3o Indian who possesses
the rdly domain is constitutionally
lazy. In the south (anadian River
bottoms the Indians grow little patches
OF corn. When they have planted the
crop they think they have done their
duty, and as a result they scorn cult.
.vaticn, and weeds and wild sunflowers
keep pace with the growth OF the corn.
Inc ~k1ckapoos have no schools within
their reservation. There are no mis-.
slonaries there. But for the effort of
q gentle T. uaker lady. Miss Elizabeth
Test, who has success sfullv conducted a
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1894-11-01

night" Then he apostrophized the
stars and the planets revolving in
their orbits in n of those splendid
flights of OratOry nf which he alone
was capable. Then, suddenly de.
sceading from the skies to earth, he
aid: / now bid you goodnight. 1
shall retire to my couch to rest in I'M
troubled Sleep and on the morrow the
lark will not rise more jocund to greet
the rising sun than l shall" 1t was
the speech OF a politician. He
praised Scott, whom he despised, and
he sought to convey the impression
that he did not take to heart his
failure to receive the nomination,
when, in fact. it wa the = eaJeSt dis
appointment Of his life. -Four
months later he died 1T Marshflcld.
Springfield Republican.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1894-11-01
HE KNEW ENOUGH.
"A Man Who Could DO Something in tn.
Doctor Line Himself.

A Nan Who Could DO Something in this.
Doctor Line Himself.
II heard an awful good story H.
Illustrative Of the system pursued by
medical quacks while in baltimore
the other day." said L. w. Creecy of
Washington. sit was new to me.
so I'll give it to you. A man named
Mike Dooley had been employed for a
number of years as driver by a we'll
known physician, who fell i'll and
died. Mike vas disconsolate over
his employers death. He was out of
a job and was untitled for any other
employment save driving a doctors
buggy from patient to patient and
mapping during the visits. He sat
around the house in a morOse and
mournful sort of way until his ener
getic wife grew weary.
"'Phy don't yez shtir yez SET an
DO sumthin'::' she inquired with in
dignation.
"'Shure. an phwat kin Oh do:' he
returned.
"'Do," she repeated, 'av Ord a bin
wild a dOchter foorteen years an sax
munths Ord know enuff t. De a dOch-
ter mOiSe'f.'
mike frightened up. He knew
nothing. of course, about medicine
except a few grandiloquent phrases
he had heard his master use in it's
praises. However, he hung out his
sign and next day a woman called.
lis the doctor in?' she asked.
'OTm the d chter, mom,' re-
Sponded Mike.
"'Then, l wish you would tell me
what is the matter with me-" she re-
marked in the plaintive tone of a
chronic invalid.
'Twinty dollars. nom, av you
Place said Mike, sententiously.
1.-THE woman demured.
'ScOince, NON, an a knowledge
av tarrespoOtics air on'y acquired boi
dthe axpiudivoor av CRATE toll an
tonne an mummy: so, nom, moi fays
air invariably in advance
When Mike fired that at her she
gave up the twenty without another
word.
Lit me say yure tung, mom,'
demanded Mike. The woman
ODE ed.
"Lit me fale yure poolz.' he con-
tinued, and extended her hand.
"Lit me heer dthe b'atin' av yure
HART and Mike, with an air of seri-
Gus study. laid his shock head against
the patients bosom. After a mo-
ment he drew it away with a jump.
1.-The worst tears air realoized,
mom.' he exclaimel; have a wart
on yure hairt.'"
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1894-11-01
Cancer and Tomatoes.

As the sHason of the tomato is upon
us and as they constitute a cheap
and very palatable food it is peril
nent to inquire what, ii any relation.
ship exists between cancer and the
eating of tomatoes. There is a
widespread suspicion. if not convic-
tiOn, that the rapid increase Of can.
Ger is dependent largely upon the
very general use Of this vegetable.
and many because of such uncer-
tainty fOrego the pleasure of eating
them. A great many inquiries have
been made Of the officers OF the Gel
ebraIed BromptOn Cancer Hospital,
England. After an Investigation
covering two years, DR.. A. Marsden,
Chairman of the Medical Committee,
says: Tomatoes neither predispose
to nor excite lance formation, and
they are not injurious to those suffer
ing from the disease. but on the con-
trary are a very wholesome diet, par
ticularly so if cooked"
This is good authority and we
hope the lover of che Glove apple"
asst used to be called will eat 1T dc.
void o. fear.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1894-11-01

small school in the Kickapoo country,
the rising generation w.uld be exceed
ingly dull in the matter of education.
Miss Test has been seventeen years
among the Indians teaching the little
papooses the primary steps toward an
education.
The kickacoo country is rich in
timber. The settlers who are fortu-
nate enough to cur these lands will
reap a rich harve st. Pecan. wild plum,
hickory. elm, red oak, post oak, Jack
oak. burr oak, white oak, walnut,
chitam, persimmon, cottonwood, and
mulberry trees grow in profusion, and
many game birds, including the quail,
prairie chickens and wild turkeys, are
to be found. OF the wild animals,
there are gray wolves, timber wolves.
coyotes, wildcats, ~catamounts. and oc-
casionally, in the Stiffness of the night,
the cry of the panther can be heard in
the dense forests along the Canadian
River. The woods are full of the
frisky gray and fox squirrels, and as
they ~playfully leap from tree to tree
they keep up a chatter that is confu-
sion.
The Dakota chief. (Gann Valley, Buffalo County, S.D.) 18??-1913, 1894-11-01
Up in a Balloon.

An instance of wcll-merited reward
for perseverance and courage was
that Of a commercial traveller, who
was expecting a large order from a
country t~radeSman, but arrived in
the town on a fete day. Finding the
shop closed, he inquired as to the
whereabouts OF the proprietor, and
a~scertained that he was attending
the fete about a mile out OF town,
went thither after him.
When he arrived there a balloon
was just going to ascend, and, to his
dismay, he saw his man stepping into
the car. P~lucking up courage. he
stepped forward, ana asked to be al
lowed to ascend. There was room,
and he entered the balloon, and it
was not until the little party was
we'll above the tree-tops that the en-
terprlSing ''commercial" turned
toward his customer with the first
remark,
And now, sir, what en- 1 do for
you in caiicoes?'
Catching the humor of the posi-
tiOn, and not unwilling to reward
such perseverance, the astonished
tradesman gave his pursuer as large
an order as he could manage, with
the excusable prOviso that in future
he should be allowed to take his
pleasure in peace. and that on no ac-
count was the traveller to mention
the circumstances to his brethren of
the road.