The Van Buren press., 1894-04-28
TWO OF A KIND.
How Bremner and Sommers AS
sisted Each Other

biot50 GdSu Otu0t.
II am in trouble" said Bremner to
his friend Sommers, land | want you
to help me out"
''Financial?" asked Sommers, with a
slight contracting of the eyebrows.
''Oh! no, worse than that, good
deal"
II didn't know that anything could
be worse in these panicky times. What
isit?"
II have friend" said Bremner. "or
man who thinks himself my friend,
and whom, for certain reasons, wish
to shake off. but he refuses to be
shaken. Now, you are a resourceful
man, and may be able to give me q
hint l have tried everything with
Snaggs-everything short of positive
insult-and all to no purpose.
"What is the matter with him?" asked
Hommers.
.The matter is this. He has a boy
seven years old, or thereabouts, and he
always persists in talking Of the
lad; in fact, he can't talk about any
thing else, and imagines everyone as
deeply interested as himself. have
nothing at all against the boy; he is q
good enough commonplace little fellow,
like all the rest OF them l never see
any difference in boys myself, they all
seem equally Objectionable. But Snaggs
comes to our house, sits down, and
talks about his boy, what he does and
what he says, until am nearly driven
crazy. hope you can suggest some
thing for my relief"
~ suggest, said Sommers, "that you
take snaggs to the state Of Michigan,
U. s. A., and kill him."
why to Michigan" queried Brem-
ner
"Oh, simply because they don't hang
for murder there, and any penalty
short Of hanging should be cheerfully
borne to get rid of man like Snaggs."
~ didn't know you were acquainted
with him." said Bremner excitedly
''I'm not, but l am afflicted In the
same way myself"
''Nonsense!" cried Bremner, II never
even heard yol mention your chill
drep."
~ mean that l am afflicted with a
friend like Snaggs It's u daughter in
his case. His name is Gregsby. / am
even worse off than you are, for his only
daughter is but five years old. You are
two years ahead of me. By and by the
boy will reach years of discretion, and
he will get there quicker than Gregs-
by's girl"
II don't know about that" Bremner
answered gloomily; "gifls grow up 80
much faster than boys do"
But they never reach years OF dis
erection, you know"
Il don't believe any son of Snaggs
will, either. The boys father hasn't,
at any rate. But, say, Sommers, an
idea strikes me. Why not introduce
Snaggs and Gregsby to each other?'
"That wouldn't be a bad plan," re-
piled Sommers, cheerfully, land then
we might bet on them. I'll back my
man TO be the greater bore"
"There wouldn't be any use In bet
ting" said Bremner, "for II your man
is as bad as mine, it could only end in
draw"
Bring your man around and we'll
test the case"
"Shall bring Snaggs to your house
tomorrow night, thenP" asked Brem-
ner.
"Yes, and II you're in for bet, I'm
your victim. I have great faith In
Gregsby, and would like to have lit
tie stake on him."
''Its serious subject with me-" re-
piled Bremner.
"Oh, very well then, I'll expect you
tomorrow night about eight o'clock,
though suspect your man Is n OF half
SO capable bore as mine"
1t was few minutes before 8 o'clock
when Gregsby pressed the electric but
ton at the Sommers' residence. Som
mers heard him talking to Mrs. Som
mers in the hall, saying: "Oh, yes,
thank you, she is quite well. I'll tell
you something funny that she said to-
day to her mother" Sommers groaned,
and helped himself to quantity Of the
stimulant provided for his guests The
next moment Gregsby appeared, smil-
Ing, and So miners greeted him with
well-feigned cordiality. Very soon the
bell rang again, and few minutes
after Bremner was introducing
Snaggs to the two sitting in the smok-
Ing room. "Beastly weather this, !" said
Gregsby to the newcomers. 81 don't
mind the weather myself, but when a
man has children he is compelled to
think of it," Have you children?'
asked Snaggs, with apparent inter-
est 1--WE got little boy myself. but
he doesn't mind the weather in the
least"
II shouldn't say children" replied
Gregsby. 81 have one little girl, and
she is only five years old, but wonder.
fully knowing for her age, and this
weather is so bad that she misses heI
walk with her mamma. We neve,
trust her out with nurse, you know
II was saying" broke in Snaggs
'that have little boy myself; he is
seven, and he goes out in all sorts OF
weather. l don't believe in coddlinp
children. And that reminds me of a
clever thing he said to me this morn.
ing. He always comes little piece OF
the way with me when l start for the
office; he"
'Ah, yes" interrupted Gregsby; "but
girls are delicate little creatures, and
have 10 be taken care Of"
Quite so,' agreed Snaggs. II adj
init that there are disadvantages about
girls that boys are quite free from"
ssDisadyantapesi cried Grersbv
you don't mean 10 say that a great
clumsy boy is to be compared with a
neat little girl would rather have a
girl any day, big or little, than a boy
ooh aunrrrona 70 his fasf.. :, ra;d