The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-12-20
BUCKS NEW CLOTHES.

Buck and published The Allen county |
Eye at Scottdalo, Ky.
The Eyo was a small sheet and was
printed on press that took an impression
with loud slap. All the announcements
that our paper uttered were strong, for IL
required but . few flaps OF our press to
turn tho hair lines Of light faced type into
tho black swipes of boldest exclamation.
We lived In the ofiice--cos us no rent,
as IL was believed TO be haunted-and took
our meals W wherever we happened TO find
them.
We had been running along for several
months when ono night as Buck and
lay on the floor smoking, he turned to me
and said:
~ am In love.
"Whativ exclaimed.
81 am In love, say. Give me match"
He relighted his pipe, puffed awhile and
continued:
Finest looking woman you ever saw
fat weighs about twice as much as do,
but she's beautiful. Never met her until
day before yesterday. Went down TO the
bluff after bucket Of water She and old
Hillard's wife were sitting near the spring,
eating lunch asked them II they didn't
want some water. Girl said she did.
Handed her gourdful; sat down beside
her. Won't you have some lunchf she
asked. We'll, rather. / nibbled her cheese
and crunched her crackers and snatched
tho meat off the leg Of chicken. found
out her rname--MissC Cregg-Helen, at that.
/ have met her several times since then.
She gave me poem for The Eye. Wen
print IL, though it's tough. Now, don't
object. Well print her matter now, and
| II we arc ever married I'll choke her of.
| Got an appointment with her tomorrow.
She lives ten miles out in the country, but
| a lover can walk that distance without
| any trouble"
/ went out into the country, and upon
| returning, after stop Of several days.
Buck told me that he was engaged.
| This is nonsense, said /.
"How soY" he asked in surprise.
why, you have got nothing to get
married on"
| "Got married on credit" said he
THAT'S all very well, but you've got no
| clothes, and there's not man in town
would credit you with a suit."
''Oh, the question Of suit Of clothes is
settled The county clerk will give $40
for printing the delinquent tax list, and
with that amount Of money / can get
| first class outfit. / went down TO see the
proprietor OF the woolen mill, and be told
me that for So he would sell me enough
Jeans TO answer my modest purposes.
| went with him. The jeans was OF
yellowish cast and was woven in ribs that
were almost as coarse as gridiron, and,
still worse, IL was greasy and smellod like
wet dog.
We printed tho tox list, and Buck took
tho goods u tailor The old fellow
turned away and held his nose when 1t
was unrolled.
I'm take en-" the tailor said, but
you must have tho cloth shrunk first"
| "That's all right. Let me put them on,
and they may shrink until they get tired.
Push the work on as fast as you can, for
an exceedingly important event depends
OH these clothes. Inbe und to try them
On tomorrow.
Early enc cold but beautiful morning
we hired shackly old hack and set out
for the residence of the brides father. A
drug clerk had given us box OF cigars,
and onward we went gayly smoking.
i think that they were the worst cigars
have ever seen. They burned like piece
Of hickory, and when we attempted to
knock off the ashes 1t was rare that the
cigar escaped being broken in two.
Buck, you are sure the girl loves your
asked.
"Of course am. Do you reckon she's
marrying mo for money!
you are not going 10 compel her To
sleep ia tho Office, are your"
mo; she'll stay with Mrs forget the
name-until can sorter fix up little"
But suppose you do not succeed il fix
ing upe"
"Well, then she'll either have to stay
with Mrs. SLOUGH or go back home.
What the deuce is that odor? Whew
never smelod anything as bad. 1t almost
takes my BREATH"
Its your clothes, answered.
why do you persist in making fun of
my wardrobei From the very first you
have spoken ungcnerously Of these gar
ments. You have not only spoken III OF
their appearance, but have elandcred them
by declaring that they smell bad. AS sin
glo and consequently a thoughtless man
could bear insults, but as a married man
as a man who feels the responsibilities
of life--I must protest against continu-
ance Of indianities. BY George, what Ii
1t that smells soi"
Just then Buck lifted the blanket, and
a volume Of smoke rolled out. We stopped
tho horses and jumped out Of the hack.
The tails of Bucks coat were burned
off, having caught from one Of our hick
ory cigars.
What ought to do-jump in the creek
or bury myself" /.
There was In my mind a sharp fight be-
tween the ludicrous and the sympathetic
but finally pity bade the ludicrous liz
down.
1T is unfortunate, said I, "but not
fatal. IL is but little farther TO the house
Of your father-in-law"-
stop" no said, holding up his hand
Enough Speak not Of wives nor of fa
thers-in.law. Get In, and we will go back
To town. Farewell, vain ambition" hC
continued, waving bis hand, "faIewellr
--Opic Read in Banner OF Gold.