Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1894-10-13
WE'D BY WIRE.

"Mr. Lcary, are you married
NAM
Very, sir"
VERY. Why do you say vcry?"
Because my dear little wife and |
are bound together by wires
'Latimer Leary, You talk engnlaS.' -
Then, sir, to be plain as Il pr rnipr
| ! will inform you that l mas married
by telegraph"
"ion don't sayw
Yes, | do"
"Then tell the company all about it,
Il will. with pleasure. Ladies and
| gentlemen my wife is a second cousin.
and is also a Leary. She once resided
in the city of Indianapolis. while |
was a resident of Centerville, in the
same State. | was bachelor of 30,
| but full of romance and general love
| because, l had not made "a conccntra-
| ton.
"Why don't you take a wife, was
| continually buzzed in my ears. Whom
| VII / take?' said l. TO this query i
Score of friends would say, Your rela-
tive. Kate Leary.'
Kate Leary?' Why, she is my
cousin
Only Il second cousin they would
reject, and your opposite, Latimer.
Kate is a blonde, and you are as dark
aS Erubus, or the ace of clubs
Il had never seen Miss Leary, but
this continual association of the young
lady with my welded life had an intiu-
ellce.
"One day a member of Congress ex-
claimed:
Mr.. Leary, were i single, l would
aSSuredly pay my court to your mag
niicrnt cousin AS l am married. and
You are my best friend, l earnestly
nope you will possess the luxury
AT this period l was a merchant.
having discharged thieving clerk, l
was So confined to my store that Il
| Journey to Indianapolis was out of the
question. l was growing wild to see
one whom all praised and so many
wished me to wed.
''ln a few days from the call of my
legislative friend, his brother, a noted
Judge. appeared at my store. The
| Judge was also my devoted ally, a po-
Sit:on intensified by his recollection Of
being educated by my deceased father.
"Drawing a photograph from his
coat, said he, 4 wish to show you
something nice. There, what do you
say TO that?'
Il told him it was absolutely en-
chanting
THAT, my dear friend is Miss Kate
Lcary the lady l wish you to marry
"'Tell me- exclaimed |, lis the-is she
all they claim for herr
My dear friend, honestly as
value truth, l have not heard her sutti-
Gently praised
why don't some man try his
luck%
81 am glad you asked. Simply be-
cause she is oyercourted. and conse-
Quently hard to please She is DOMAIN
tic. and. you clearly see, not winnable
by ordinary methods
"'You say she is very particular"
SHE is, sir
"'Then. goodbye for me-
Not at all; she is rapturous over
your likeness, and sends her cousinly
love. with an invitation to visit her.
| pledge you l omitted not a single
good point in your body, calibre, or
character
$50 YOU consider her photograph
accurate"
81 can tell you it don't flatter her.
She has extraordinary beauty, and the
kind that is more striking in animation
or conversation
while mutual friends in Centerville
were laudng my fair cousin. mutual
friends in Indianapolis were loud in
their eulogies of me. and preparing
her mind for an alliance.
81 am not self-conceited. Believing
such concord to be born of an obvious
fact l settled on the idea of marrying
this wonder in beauty, soul, and accom-
| pl shment.
MY intent was quickly confirmed
upon hearing that a very wealthy and
iltlncnt.al banker from Gotham was
in the melting mood. I remember it
was midnight. hinted from my store
the last batch of chronic loungers and
selected the best stationery in my eS-
tablshmcnt. l was to write my first
| letter to Kate.
Prom all that had passed. fine
style was easy. l always flattered my
self on my syntaX, and will unegotis-
t-cally affirm that my missive was ut
once tender. audacous. dignified. wild.
and intense. 1t struck her ike an
! electric shock The banker was laugh
ed out of competition and your humble
servant was master of the situation.
"Such a reply as 1 received! Well
yGI must see-you shall see it. l have
good gas works. but l am inadequate.
In brief time we learned that each
| cher knew the other well. The much
said by SO many mutual friends. super
added to our photographs and letters,
nude lis n comprehending couple; in
fact. we confessed our love-a full.
round, r.pc. and luscious article. There
could be no unsafety in the case. Our
lineage was common, and every fact
known What followed is clear-an
en~lgcment-yes, between unseen low
crS and cousins.
II was dying to fold her to my
heart. but my solus condition and ma
turing appointments postponed it in
definitely
What did you say? Why didn't
-" visit one of our friends at Center
Vie? l answer you cheerfully. She
WIS AN oddity. She had her notions
and would entertain them. Though
va were plghted, she declared ii
should not be said that she made the
first visit. Many believed she was
right. l don't argue that point, but
merely answer a question.
Weeks passed, letters were numer.
| ouS and cOpiOuSly Saccharine The