Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1894-03-23

III tne laHu OF lnurstOn the II
reigned jointly Three Wise Kings
namely: The King OF Spades whose
surname was Osborn, the King o
Cluhs whose name surname was Is
rael ooh, Israel ) and the King Of Dia
monds whose surname was Prather.
And these Three Kings were won
drous wise the King OF Spades being
noted throughout the land OF Thurs
ton for his wise look and the thickness.
OF his skull; the King OF Clubs in adj
dition 10 his wisdom was famed fol
his ability to carry bucket OF water
on each shoulder. In wisdom and
bright saying the King of Diamond,
was by far the superior OF his two col
leagues, and the rapidity with which
the bright sparkling gems of wisdom
constantly poured forth from between
his whiskers from morning to night
was" What?" Truly wonderful.
And the subjects of these Three
Wise Kings paid for these gems at the
rate OF 1850 per day.
And it came to pass in the year oil
our Lord one thousand eight hundred
and ninety-three. and in the first year
of the reign Of The Three Wise Kings
that they did levy excessive tithes
upon their subjects wherewith to pay
the expenses OF their government and
line their pistol pockets.
Whereupon the people Of the land
OF ThurstOn did wax exceeding sore,
and did loudly call for retrenchment.
Wherefore, the Three Wise Kings
did give their people to understand
that the knaves IN their official capac-
tiles as Clerks, 1.-THE gatherers and
High Sheriiis were guilty OF gross ex-
travagance with the peoples money,
in. that they kept constantly in their
offices at the expense of their govern
ment, large army Of hirelings who
did nothing but smoke and draw their
salaries.
And the Three Wise Kings did forth
with issue proclamation ordering
their knaves to dispense the crowd Of
hirelings in their respective offices.
And in compliance with the orders
of the Three Wise Kings the Knave OF
Spades whose surname was Prince did
send forth one hireling, the Knave OF
Diamonds whose surname was Root
did send forth one hireling, the Knave
OF Hearts whose surname was Roberts
did send forth one hireling and the
knave of Clubs whose surname was
Moore did send forth three hirelings.
Six hirelings in all, two of whom were
Queens who had not found favor in
the sight of the Three Wise Kings,
and the other four were male hire
lings.
And the Three Wise Kings did
further order that the remaining
hirelings and Knaves, Gncluding one
Queen who has found favor in their
sight and whose front name was Sadie)
should practice the most rigid economy
under penalty OF being obliged them
selves to pay out of their own salary
any amount deemed extravagant OF
contrary to the orders OF the Three
Wise Kings.
And the people of the land oil
Thurston did rejoice, and sing the
praises of the Three Wise Kings upon
the streets and in the highways OF the
land, for their wise orders OF economy
And they did encourage and urge
the Three Wise Kings to further
economic measures so that each Knave
should have no hireling to do his
bidding.
And the powers Of the Knaves were
consumed and usurped by the Three
Wise Kings.
And as II further demonstration OF
the mighty power of the Three Wise
Kings. they did order thai none of the
Knaves hirelings or subjects of the
Three Wise Kings, nor any one SO
journing in their Kingdom, should be
allowed to smoke the pipe OF peace,
the gentlemanly cigar or the unlaw-
iul cigarette, IN the sacred rooms Uf
their Royal Temple, under penalty Of
Punishment from the sacred premises
and their tobacco being confiscated for
the use of the Three Wise Kings.
In consequence of the wise economic
measures adopted by the Three Wise
Kings, many bright shekels OF gold
and silver OF the peoples money were
saved from the hirelings OF the Knaves
and turned over to the Three Wise
Kings in payment OF their services in
unnecessarily examining all the Kings
Highways throughout the land oil
ThurstOn and in payment OF their
valuable time spent in executive
session listening to the cackle OF the
King of Diamonds. Selah.