davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
An Unappreciative Valet.

It is doubtless difficult for conscien-
tious valet to determine where per-
quisites end and theft begins, but the
valet of Professor Lenbach, the famous
Austrian portrait painter, seems to have
been more conscientious than most val
cts. He loved order, and no place is SO
difficult to keep in order as an artists
studio. So he invariably cleared away
all the sketches which he found messing
about the place and sold them cheap to
picture dealers or bartered them for to-
bacco. Professor Lenbach, having the
untidy instincts of the painter, no soon-
er discovered this than he raised objec-
lions. The valet explained that he re-
garded his masters sketches as worth
less. The explanation does not appear
to have Modified the professor, for he is
prosecuting his valet.-Pall Mall Bud
get.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
ARGENTlNE's DIGNITY SAVED.
Minister Zeballos Proved Equal to tn
Emergency That Confronted Him.

Minister Zeballos Proved Equal to the
Emergency That Confronted Him.
Just before the Minneapolis sailed
from here few weeks ago for the trial
trip which proved so successful DR.. 3.
Estanislaus Zeballos, the Argentine Re-
public's minister to this country, who
had been invited to go along as guest,
walked up the gangplank in Cramps
shipyard with servant. a..-:.s.
He was shown to3the room which had
been reserved for him, and which, in
view of the crude condition Of the
cruiser consequent upon her trial trip,
he found plainly furnished. He also dis
covered that the president Of the trial
board and Chairman Cummings Of the
house committee on naval affairs had
staterooms that were somewhat more
roomy and better situated, but no better
furnished.
DIR. Zeballos at once declared that in
his capacity as minister to the United
States from the Argentine Republic he
could not accept any accommo dations on
the ship which were not equal to those
assigned to any other person, and he
made request for better room. 1t
was impossible for Captain Sargent to
find such accommodation or to turn Mr..
Cummings or any other official out Of the
quarters to which he had been assigned.
DIR. Zeballos declared that under these
circumstances, he could not accompany
the ship on the trip and would leave
forthwith.
The officials of the Cramp company
expressed their regret very politely, and
DR.. Zeballos, with servant trailing be-
hind him, walked down the gangplank
and thus preserved the dignity Of the
Argentine Republic, but missed the
most beautiful trip that has ever been
made.-Philadelphia Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
TWO CRASsHoPPERs
"A stnry strongly Resembling MARI
, Twajn's .jumpIng Frog OF Calsveras."

[ John Mackey, the mining millionaire.
has in his employ at Carson, New, an
exnert named Maurice Hoet1ich. who
always offers 80 back his opinion by
bettihpyf This, says the Million. an.
'noysl Mackay. swho does not like to 'oeS
tdisputed, and is,further fretted ny the
fact that Hoetlich usually proves 70 o y
in the right One day Hoef1lch was s'as,
play1hc with an enormous grasshop-
Der. 1t. could jump over twenty feet''
and. he said: xs.:,i nj Ii p - .&oiy%ii,@,F
F ."Fll ped you $50! Mr.. Mackay,s dot
YOU can't lind hopper, to peat him., q
+ Mackay" sent Il trusted emlssary
down to Carson valley to secure a con-
stestant. The man spent nearly o
week catching hvppers. and reported
that the best gait any Of them made
was seventeen feet. He doubted 1t =
bigger Jump could be found anywhere.
The next day he arrived with about
dozen hoppers, and Mackay gave
them quarters in his rooms as Wander
bilt would stable his stud. Each had
cigar box to himself, and every morn
inw thew were taken out and put
throur their PAGES. It was impossi-
bic. however, to get one to jump over
eighteen feet. Mackay was in de-
spair: but one morning hopper
shifted at 4 hottie of ammonia on the
table and Immediately jumped thirty
feet.
Next day Meckay announced to
Hoe llich that hs was ready for the
match. The expert came an hour be-
fore the time with his pet hopper.
Not finding Mackay in. he noticed the
bottle of ammonia. A light broke
upon him. Grabbing tho bottle he
rushed to drug store, threw away
the amMouia, and ordered it to be
filled with cllloroform. Mackay soon
arrived with half dozen mining
superintendent, whom he invited to
see HIM have some fun with Hoehich.
They were hardly seated when Hoef1ich
came iu with The hopper in cigar box
unher his arm.
81 vas Il Ieellc late, Mr.. Mackay, but
Pm here mid der hopper and der
cUn.''
He laid down the money, which was
covered promptly. Mackay got behind
some body and let his hopper sniff at
the ammonia bottle, which held Hoe
tlich's chloroform.
Time being called, the hoppers were
placed side by side on the piazza, and
ut the word go" each one was touched
on the back with a straw. Hoe1iich's
entry scored twenty-four feet. Mac
kay's gave lazy lurch of some four
inches, and, folding his legs, fell fast
asleep. SIS.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16

LEGATIONS II will be news % ma The
world is full Of business men who may be
"old fogies' and yet they will hesitate to
believe such foolishness as these Populists
teach. ~ Gees ."&l+sA te''vt 'S2
Some F.thsrly Advice. WI @''s.t
One word more address directly to MI.
Donnelly himself. am somewhat famil-
lar, Ignatius, with your efforts to abolish
Shakespeare. i meet some! people who
doubt your success in that effort Your
present effort to abolish all the we'll known
laws of finance may also prove q failure.
! beg of you do not try to do too much,
Did you ever contemplate trying to abolish
an ,''olds fogt"H institution. Z ~. Suppose
you try your hand at that next. w just set
the planets to, running wild through the
realms of space. They would not become
worse tangled up, be more erratic in their
courses or more likely to go to smash than
the country, would be if the SPopulists
could regulate its affairs. ',.g
/ Permit me just one suggestion. What
ever you attempt In the future try and let
your efforts begoverned by. rules which
are recognized as proper among all gem
tlemen. Never write and publish any
thing, the, second! reading of which will
make you ashamed of yourself. T.. -. at,!y.a.,
According to the philosophy, so aptly
stated by Gen. Garfield, you are compelled
to live and associate with Ignatius Don
nelly 365 days of each year OF your natural
life. How important, then, that you retain
your own, self-respect.l Read over again
your ''screed" in The Representative and
then tell the world candidly if ITS perusal
has tendency to make you feel proud of
yourself. # it does, then it will enable the
people Of the United States to determine
the ''kind OF meat on which you feed, and
on which you grow so great"
People may have honest differences in
this world. They, may state such differ
ences in incisive and impressive language,
Men of sense never object to clear cut and
telling sentences.
That, however never gives a man the
right to indulge in vulgar invectives. Men
Of genuine culture never demean them
selves by descending into the mire.
r. G. HORR.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
A milwaukee, Riot.

MILWAUKEE, Aug 8.-The health Of
ficers attempted to move child of Fred
Kembler, on Arthur street, to the
isolation hospital to be treated for small
pox. A riot ensued in which a mob of
1900 men, women and boys took part.
The police were called, but were power.
less to cope with the mob, and the at
tempt to remove the child had to be
abandoned temporarily. -Four police
men were hit by stones. A child of the
Kembler family died at the hospital of
smallpox three weeks ago. The parents
and neighbors will resist all efforts to
take this patient there.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
WHY ARE THEY HERE?

Considerable Speculation as to What Ha-
waiian Commissioners Want.
WASHINGTON, Aug. 8.-There is some
uncertainty manifested in congressional
circles to know the exact purpose of the
visit of Messrs. Parker, Cummings and
Wideman, the royalist ENJOYS from Ha-
wall. While they talked with various
members of congress-, they have not
confded to any one definite impression
Of the ends which they hope to accom-
plish by their missions. In a general
way they have reviewed the various
wrongs attending the overthrow of the
monarchy from their standpoint, and
they have complained Of the interference
of Mr.. Stevens, which they say
brought about the downfall.
They represent that the present
government cannot be considered re-
public, and are not satisfied with the
attitude of Mr.. Willis, who is said to be
as friendly to the American element as
was his predecessor. But they do not
ask the members to do anything in be-
half of the deposed queen, nor do they
state definitely why they are here. One
of the two objects is suggested by mem
bers of congress to have brought the
delegation to urge the administration to
carry out its abandoned idea of the res
toration Of the queen, or to make ar
rangements for pecuniary redress for
her.
The commissioners have expressly dis
claimed either of these purposes, and
their objects are yelled in mystery.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
MILWAUKEE STREET RAILWAYS.
Aldermen Talk of Buying Them For the

AIuernen Ink O1 DuyAuS AHcA IOT JIG
City.
MILWAUKEE, Aug. 9.-Alderman
Rauschenburger introduced resolution
in the common council calling for the
appointment of a committee to ascer-
tain whether it is possible for the city
at this time to purchase the street rail-
way system. In the preamble of the
resolution it is stated that the protest Of
the street railway company against its
recent increase in assessments makes it
appear as if this were good time to
purchase both the street railway and
the electric lighting system. The pre-
amble further asserts that large pro-
portion of the taxpayers Of the City of
Milwaukee believe that the street rail-
way system should be owned and oper-
ated by the municipality, and it is be-
ieved that the present time would be a
favorable one to acquire said street rail-
way system.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
NOVEL BURIAL cAskETs.r
A nAudaeiSus, Innovation and a. Ensess
prising AGENTS Successful Canvass.

A eAuAaoiSuss Innovation oad a. EnteEs
prising Agents Successful Canvass.
During the past few weeks Washing.
ton has BEEN canvassed by the agent Of
one Of the most peculiar pieces Of fu-
neral paraphernslia ever invented. tits
q burglar and Areproof, scofans with 20
many strange adjunots that % person
seeing It for the first time would throw
up his hands In holy horror at the au-
'dacity4 Of the inventor and the admira-
sble nerve OLA manufacturer that will
place such aniarticle ON ,thelmarket. g d
Despite the many CHASTITY features in
connection with these coff1ns and the all
most blasphemous talk Of the enterpris-
ing agent, this CITY has proved. to be a
lucrative fieldfor him towork, and now
numbered citizens. are equipped with
the strangest burial applianoeo of the dec.'
ade. The description ofnthe coffin! "a
given by the. agent is as follows:.s
/ Primarily the coffin is fire and bur-
/ glar proof. The case is made out Of boil.
er iron hardened with old bone, spruce
bark land leather, which forms. an en-
amel that cannot be penetrated, by chisel
or drill. IT il put together with angle
iron and flush rivets. The locks are. all
'on the inside, So constructed with hooks
and staples, with a spring behind them,
that when 9 pin is drawn out from the
outside the bolts spring down and lock
automatically, and the coffin IS then
locked SO that it cannot be opened from
the outside. The only person who can
unlock and open the strange coffin is the
person inside. - 80 .'''.''
There are two grades Of coffins-those
for vaults and those to be inferred in
graves. The coffin to be placed in a
vault is equipped with torpedoes that
can be exploded from the inside. The
theory Of this is that in case person is
buried alive he can throw back the
bolts, explode the torpedoes and warn
the sexton and thus escape. The coffin
to be placed in grave has attached
strong spring and arm. In case the per-
son inside ends that he wishes to get
out all he has to do is to throw back
the spring, and this arm is thereby re-
leased and cuts its way to the top, ex-
ploding a torpedo and warning the keep
er OF the graveyard.
These collins are sold at so much per
pound, and tho first purchaser does not
have to pay anything down. He simply
gives written guarantee to the manu-
facturer that he will pay for the coffin
from his estate within Is days after
death, or, failing to do this, the manu-
facturer can claim his body to do what
he may wish with it.-Washington
News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
The Chicken Cured Him.

Last Wednesday George, the 10-year.
old son of Miles Mizzell, while walking
in the swamp on the banks Of Sutton
creek, was bitten by snake. He went
at once to the house, where chicken
was cut open and applied to the wound.
When the chicken was taken off. it was
perfectly green. Brandy was given him
to drink. Although his leg was much
swollen, he is now considered out of
danger. Windsor IN. CO. Ledger.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
County Officials Crooked.

Sioux CITY, a., Aug. lin the
Woodbury. county bond injunction case
some startling evidence was brought
out. Ex-Deputy Auditor Roberts was
on the stand, and from his testimony it
appears that there has been an organ
lied movement among certain officials
to rob the county. Roberts duplicates
himself and number of other officials
in the deal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
Chica4o's Fire Dove.

Speaking of the recent big fire in Chi
cago, The Herald Of that city said,
Soaring high above the three blocks of
blazing lumber aud calcined walls Kas
awhile dove (the same bird futtered It's
wings over the desolation Of 1879,
which sailed twice around the burning
district and then disappeared.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
LORRfng Train Ditched.

BRA1NERD, Mimi, Aug. 11.-Charles
Frost, brakeman, was internally in
iured in railroad accident on the Cross
Lake Logging company's road, tree
falling across the track ahead OF the
train, derailing it, ditching the engine
and completely demolishing four cars.
It is not known whether Frost is fatally
hnrt or not
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
National Boys League.

DENVER, Aug. 7. - Incorporation
papers have been filed here for the
National Boys league, an organization
intended for boys from ID to 81 years OF
age. The proposed work Of the league
is combination of the Chautauqua
and Christian Endeavor ideas, the motto
being "Self Help
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
For Sale.

l lO-horce coal burning traction
engine; l Flour City power hay press,
also few head of work horses, cheap,
must be sold. E1w3
AEON FORBES.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16

Hoods Pills cure nausea, sick headache,
Indigestion, biliousaess. Sold ny all druggists.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
Only a Scar Remains

Scrofula Cured Purified by
Hoods Sarsaparilla.
&C. I. Hood s. Co., Lowell, Mass:
cit is with pleasure that send testimonial
concerning what Hoods Sarsaparilla has done
for my daughter. It is a wonderful medicine
and Icannot recommend it too highly. Sarah,
who is fourteen years old, has been
Afflicted With Scrofula
ever since she was one year old. For five years
she has had q running sore on one side of her
face. We tried every remedy recommended but
nothing did her any good until we commenced
using Hoods Sarsaparilla. Mymarried daughter
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16
Hoods ';;::';iji' Cures

It had cured her Of dyspepsia. She had been
troubled with that complaint since childhood,
bottle of Hoods Sarsaparilla in the house. We
commenced giving it to Sarah about one year
ago, and 1t has conquered the running sore,
Only a Scar Remaining
as trace of the dreadful disease. Previous to
taking the medicine her eyesight was affected
but now she can see perfectly. In connection
with Hoods Sarsaparilla we have used Hoods
Vegetable Pills, and find them the best" MRS.
MARIA GRIFFIN, Xenia, Illinois.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16


value, that it does not cost cents to make
it. He ignores the fact that the value of
the bond is not in the paper itself It is
IN THE PROMISE of which the paper is
evidence. That promise is and always
must be an agreement TO PAY SOME
THING WHICH HAS INTRINSIC
VALUE. The bond is not ''gold or sill
ver." True, but it is PROMISE TO
PAY GOLD OR SILVER, and it's value
consists in the fact that the government is
able to pay and does pay such promises at
maturity. The government might make
such promise and never put it into writ
ing or print it in any way. Yet the prom
ise would be worth the amount verbally
agreed upon, because such amount would
be paid on demand.
IF the nations faith and credit are
good for 81 900, are they not good for $5?''
asks Il. d." Most certainly they are.
That does not touch the point in issue at
all. If the nations faith and credit are
good for 81 900, does it necessarily follow
that they must also be good for SIC, 900,
100000? That is the real question at issue.
Indeed, that sum will not meet all the
purposes for which the Populists would
have the government issue paper money.
Will Mr.. Donnelly indicate whether he
believes that there is any limit to the
credit of a nation? If the government can
create money by simply running print
ing press, will it make any difference how
much of such money it puts in circulation!
Is there any point as to amount beyond
which government cannot safely go? 1t
has been conceded generally in the past
| that such a limit does not exist as to all
! nations That has been the notion OF
fnanciers of the world, before the world
was illuminated by these modern Populist
lights Since the blazing glory of their
wise teachings irradiated this planet, am
unable to state what the new refulgence
has revealed upon this subject.
If the credit of an individual or nation
cannot be destroyed by an overissue Of oh.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-08-16


of which the coins are made. By the
process of coming the government creates
nothing.
Money is used to facilitate exchanges.
People make money by producing the ar
producing the articles that can be ex-
changed for money. When a man gives
his note for 500 in exchange for horse,
the man is worth no more than he was be-
fore he bought the horse, if $500 is the
fair value of the animal. He has the
horse, but he owes it's full value When
the government issues greenback or a
bond, no value has been created by the
transaction The government may ex-
change them both for gold, but the gov
eminent at once becomes indebted for the
full amount of these obligations.
No doubt it is better to make money
than to borrow it ; but do not forget that
the government never received dollar
for single greenback or for any govern
ment bond without borrowing the full
amount thus received The moment such
a paper obligation leaves the treasury it
is promise to pay" real dollars, and
the property of the nation is pledged to
such payment.
These Populists are all the time crying
out against mortgages, anf yet THEY
WOULD PUT A MORTGAGE OF
UNTOLD BILLIONS upon the entire
property existing in this country. Or dc
these gentlemen think that demand notes
and government bonds need never be paid:
To listen to their talk one would think
that they believe that kind of money is
possible simply for purposes of circula
ton, and that such circulation can b.
Evening star., 1894-03-21
COMMODORE KIRKLAND.
Has He Sailed for Honolulu or Not


The question of who is to command our
naval forces at Honolulu after Admiral Ir-
wins retirement is a matter which up to
yesterday was thought to have been settled,
but would seem to be very far from that
point. Recently Commodore Kirkland was
ordered to that duty, but, so 1t is said, has
been suddenly recalled. although no definite
information as to the why or the wherefore
can be obtained. Commodore Kirkland was
detached from command of the League Is
land navy yard In Philadelphia and ordered
to relieve Admiral Irwin in time to permit
the latter to reach home before retirement.
His orders required Commodore Kirkland to
leave San Francisco on the 18th instant. lie
is said TO have reached San Francisco In
good season. Press dispatches announcing
the departure of the Hawaiian steamer of
the lIth instant included Commodore Kirk
lands name in the list of her passengers.
Consequently much surprise was caused
by a little paragraph in yesterdays Star
saying that Commodore Kirkland had
passed through Denver, Col, yesterday on
his way to relieve Admiral Benham of the
command of the South Atlantic station.
Tho dispatch was confusing, In that it
said that the naval officer was on his way
west. His natural route to the Brazilian
station would be east from Denver
No Information could be gained today at
the Navy Department, both the Secretary
ard assistant secretary being absent from
the city.
Evening star., 1894-03-21
A RAPID ASSEMBLY OF TROOPS.
Col. Clay Calls without Warning for
the Fourth Battalion and II Responds.

What might be expected from the Ma
tional Guard of the District Of Columbia in
the way of rapid assembly in case of an
emergency requiring its services was stcwn
yesterday evening by the fourth battalion
of the second regiment.
A little before Z o'clock Col Clay asked
Messrs Scheller and Stevens druggists at
9th street and Pennsylvania avenue, 'yi.elh-
er they would be kind enough 10 dell ,er a
message to Maj. Campbell, at his residence,
directing him to turn out his battalion at
once. They very promptly complied with
this request. and Maj. Campbell rea ched his
armory at I o'clock and began issuing his
orders The colonel had in the meantime
ordered four messenger boys 10 report to
the major at the armory. Three of the
boys had no bicycles and We're promptly
dismissed. The fourth was sen: on MS
wheel to the exterior wilds Of Fast Wash
ington for the captain of one Of the COM
panies, whom, after three-Quartefs or an
hour he reported ne could not 1nd at home
Meantime orders had been dispatched 10y
every available method to company com
manders and Others and the result was that
a ten minutes after the major had 63 per
cent of the entire number of officers and
men borne the rolls of his .nttliion
whether sick or well, absent or Tor duty,
assembled in the drill hall, unformei, ann
ed and awaiting orders.
In view of the fact that not an officer
or man of his command had the slightest
intimation of the proposed assembly, nor
had the major, until notified by Col. Clay,
the result may be considered very crafty
ing. With l,5O0 men in the District guard.
the same rate of assembly would place 943
men. armed and equipped, at Gen. ord
ways disposal in one hour and ten minutes.
Major Campbell and his officers and men
deserve great credit for having thus shown
to the citizens of the District what may be
expected, should 1t ever become necessary
to call upon the guard for the protection
of life or property here. Men came from as
far as 18th and II streets northeast.
Others, who were employed on piece work
at the government printing office. without
hesitation reported for duty. The COM
mendabe spirit shown by the officers and
men concerned in this sudden call for duty
Is considered all the more praiseworthy
in view of the discouragement under which
the guard has labored for several years
in the matter of its annual encampment,
for which Congress has made no appropria-
ton.