Connecticut western news., 1894-06-21
I SMELL SMOKE.

though she allows hlm to smoke any where else, very properly forbids him to indulge in such dangerous practice. However, as Mrs. Snoodle is a remark ably sound sleeper MT. Snoodle frequent ly manages to enjoy few stolen whiffs
 One night when in bed MT. Snoodle had an irresistible desire for pipe, which he ill vain endeavored to combat His wife was fast asleep, so he cautious ly stretched out his hand for his pipe, which lay on Q little table by the bed side. Then with equal caution he filled it, lighted up and was putting away with intense relish when Mrs. Snoodle turned over and gave two or three shorts.
 ''I believe she's going to wake up, |" thought Mir. Snoodle and hastily took his pipe from his mouth and placed it on the table.
 Mrs. Snoodle gave few more shorts and woke up. Then she gave series a sniffs, and Mir. Snoodle trembled, for the room was pregnant with tobacco smoke.
 "John, are you smoking?" asked his wife sternly.
 Certainly not, my dear. Whatever makes you think so?'' he innocently in luired. -
 Because I can smell tobacco" she replied 'Phew. how strong it isl Don't you smell it, John?''
 Can't say I do, Martha I've got q bit of cold
 "Open your eyes, man, and then you will, l,'' snapped Mrs. Snoodle. 'I don't smell with my eyes, gig gled MT. Snoodle
 What I mean is wake up properly and sniff hard Now, can't you smell it?''
 "Well-er-I think there is faint odor of tobacco,'' D admitted the culprit.
 ''Think-faint odor Why, the place reeks with itl I tell you what it is, John, there's somebody smoking in the house." declared his wife.
 'Doyou think Jane indulges in pipe on the sly?' suggested Mir. Snoodle.
 .'Nonsenser'
 "Well, my dear, the only other living thing in the house is the cat, and l never heard of cats smoking
 Don't talk rubbish, John. It's seri- ous matter. It's my firm belief there's a burglar smoking in the house" And Mrs. Snoodle shivered.
 ''Ah, very likely" replied Mir. Snoo- dle, thankful for his lucky escape and preparing to go to sleep again.
 John, are you going to sleep and let the house be ransacked?" asked his wife indignantly.
 Certainly not, my dear. ''
 ''Then why don't you go down stairs and catch the burglar?"
 Mir. Snoodle very reluctantly got out of the warm bed into the cold air, sleep fly lighted candle and moved toward the door.
 "Aren't you going to take some weapon of defense?'' asked his wife. Do you want to be killed? Inever saw such manp'
 Mr Snoodle rather sulkily seized the poker and muttered that Eff he found a burglar he'd make it smoking hot for him. y
 He had got half way down stairs and was thinking of anything but burglars when he suddenly saw man dart out of the dining room and bolt down the kitchen stairs. Mir. Snoodle's first i'm pulse was instant flight, for he was an arrant coward, but he was so astounded and petrified with fear that he was ut terly unable to either move or speak He simply stood still, holding the candle nearly upside down, with his mouth wide open. Then he heard the back door bang and knew that the burglar was gone, so thought it was about time for action and to earn little cheap glory.
 So he roared out: "You yillainsl I'll murder you! I'll scalp you as clean as a whistlep' and rushed down stairs. He had never before felt so heroic in his life He bounded into the dining room and fought fiercely with the furniture, especially the fender, as he could bang into that without injuring it much un- til he was quite>exhausted.
 ''John, John, come up stairs'' screamed Mrs. Snoodle. You'll be killed!'
 Its all right, Marthar shouted back MT. Snoodle.
 Have you got the rascals safely bound then?''
 | NO, NO BOb away. DuG l Ft nearly killed 'emp'
 Thank heaven Come up stairs and let me dress your wounds, dear,'' said Mrs. Snoodle solicitously.
 Mr. Snoodle, after securing the bs cb | door, which the servant had omitted tc lock, and undoing the bundle of plate that the burglar had left behind in his hurry to escape, went up stairs.
 ''Oh, John" exclaimed Mrs. Snoodle on beholding him, ''then you're not dead?''
 ''No, dear,' he said, mopping his brow But it was a terrible fight. !"
 "I'm sure it was. I never heard such an awful row. Did they take anything?
 "Only their hook" grinned Mir. Snoodle II was just ill time to proven, lem carrying off the best part of oul plate. It was all tied up ready. That idiot of Jane forgot to lock the bacl door, I'll give it to her ill the morn ingp'
 "The silly girl! How many burglar: were there, John?" .....,
 "Two One great fellow over feet and another bigger, if anything, but caught one crack on the head tha must have pretty we'll smashed it, anC Pm sure I've broken the other ones leg, declared the mendacious Mir. Snoodle
 ''Then wonder he could run away, remarked his wife.
 'tHe doesn't run with his arms Martha {"