The record-union., 1894-02-10

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cluded. No sun. Bless me! Ive been
clustering at Ballarat for fifty years.
Bah!-l23 would kill me! Mayn't l have
my old room, Mr.. Clerk.
The little man gasped out the request
so plaintively that the clerk was quite
| touched.
Certainly, certainly. That's all right,
my dear sir. Quite the same, quite the
same. Here, Bob" to the porter, "show
Mr.. Pipperchirp to 125 and make every
thing snug and tidy. Look sharp, now!'
| Mr.. Pipperchirp wrung the clerks
| hands gratefully, poured a handful of
| silver coin into the porter's hands; gave
the ships steward something that looked
| like gold; rubbed his hands purringly;
wandered about the Railways a few mo-
ments with CHEEKY and atfectionate evil
dences of heartfelt, old-time recognition,
and then followed the porters, now wait
ing, at the head of the grand stairway,
with the nimble alacrity of youth.
The clerk of the Slavistork had hardly
resumed his duties with genial shrug of
! forbearance and sigh of relief, when the
chamberlain of the dormitory floor sud-
denly descended to the office as if sorely
| perpleXed.
did | get your order for l23 to be done
up, sir?"
Exactly; 123. Put it to rights"
well, begs your pardon, sir, but the
OF gent as is in there says as ee's takin'
bit O. nap; as is room is is castle; an
cell ave me shot if [ bothers i'm agin,
SIR"
"Oh, very WE'LL" said the clerk laugh
ing. Its Mr.. Pipperchirp. Odd old
fellow. He's gone back to his own room,
! then?'
81 should venture ee 'ad, SIR"
Don't disturb him. Put l25 to rights
instead.
In few moments more the dormitory
cham berlain appeared again at the desk
in thoroughly disordered state. He was
painting little, and appeared to have
been in a tussle.
"Something wrong, sir, in my 'all, sir.
Mr.. Pipperchirp's hoccurpyin' two
rooms, sir. Ee's in 125 now leastwise ee
was, sir. I unlocked th' door, sir, an
there ee was dancin' an cuttin' it oncom-
mon fat, like ee'd 'ad it trifie to 'eavy,
sir. L says, 'pve hOrders on the room,
SIR Ee says, Hill ave horders on
your 'ead, STRIP With that, sir, ee 'eaved
bundle o. canes at me an drove me, cad
on, agin 123, sir. an ee-H'ive not lad a
drop this day fortnight, sir!-jerked open
lis door, sir, an Swore ee'd run me
through AM If Hive not lost my senses,
sir, the two old uns, then catchin' sight o.
one another, 'hutted' an 'tutted' an
'poohed' an 'bahed' an glared an glow
| tIOuJ SidLlulOu tuCll dOOlo dA dl q
stompin' an ragin' inside this blessed
minutel Don't take my word, sir. That
Pipperchirp is double, sir, or them rooms
is single, or"
The distressed chamberlain was at this
moment interrupted by the furious ring
ing of the office bells connecting with the
| Pipperchirp apartments.
Seldom as is the hotel clerk susceptible
to agitation, it is not overstepping the
! bounds of truthful expression to say that
for once the clerk of the Slavistork was
genuinely agitated.
On reaching the dorlnitory hall he
found the Pipperchirp apartments not
only barricaded against entrance, but their
respective occupants employed, when not
ringing the bells, whose clamor could be
family heard from the Office below,
humping and whacking as if at some
| invisible adversary, "bahing" and hut
ting" as the chamberlain had truthfully
described, while up and down the hall
were rows of peering silvery heads, set
with bulbous, startled eyes, ducking and
| bobbing in and out of various apartments
as the Pipperchirp commotion subsided
or increased.
''My dear sir,'' said the clerk in his
most persuasive tones while tapping softly
| at the door of 123.
"Hut, hut Don't dear sir me, sir!
won't have it! It's an outrage, siri Dear,
dear! To get yourself up like me and
plant yourself like mummy opposite
my apartment Dear. dear! PHI have
the law on the house! I'll call you out,
sir. Hut! Pll spit you like the puppy
you are, sir. Hut, hut, hutv'-
The voice of the erst bland Mr.. Piper
chirp was here lost in its own high
pitched frenzy.
my dear, dear SIR" now pleaded the
clerk, timorously tapping at the door of
the opposite apartment.
"Bully and whine!-bully and whine,
YOU old sarcophagus! oh, dear, dol
Yes. yes, yes! Bah! Do come in! Bah!
Don't fall back on the code, sir. Don't
wait for a second, sir. Oh, no, no! Tll
settle your pretensions as we do at Balla-
rat, sirl Bring your knife, do. Bring
your pistol, do I'll skewer you before
you've time to beg, with one of these
canes, sir! Do come in. Yes, yes, yes.
Bah! Hut and bah-h-h-h again, SIR"
Poor old Pipperchirp in l25 was now
dancing and charging about in very de-
)irium of indignant valor.
But, my dear sirs, l beg of YOUR m
the clerk, clerk of the Slavistork." This
to both rooms and both commotions.
"There's been some serious mistake,
sirs."
"Hut, not bit of it. He's deliberate
ruffian," came hotly from 123.
mo mistake at all. sir. He's bully
ing old scoundrel," was hurled back as
defian.ly from 125.
"But, gentlemen, gentlemen!-Messrs.
Pipperchirp," pleaded the clerk despair
ingly.
chirp." shouted the enraged old men si-
multaneously, followed with equally un-
appeasabl challenges from opposite
rooms of, Hut! He's a pretender" and
"He's an impostor. Bahv'
At this critical juncture the disordered
chamberlain whispered humbly TO the
clerk: might Hi venture to say, sir,
as low you might some low interiuce the
Other to th' Tother, sir?''
1t was an inspired idea, but the manner
of its execution put the clerk to his wits
ends. The ancient guests of the dormi-
were gathering in shocked and startled
| and something must be speedily DONE
The clerk hastily consulted with some of
the wiser and braver of the old men.
and, after much preliminary door tap
each soothingly began: "Ah-ah, gen.
tleman within, sir? Mr.. Pipperchirp,
sir ?''
The snorting and cavorting within the
Pipperchirp apartments seemed to be
gradually diminishing.
''Mr. Pipperchirp?' continued the old
man insinuatingly, ibid you ever have a
relative, sir?"
Hut, yes" came from 123. "Went to
Ballarat fifty years ago. No good. Died.