Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-02-25
BOOKS AND WRITER'S.
The ldlcr Discusses Literature and
Literary People.
THE TRIALS OF HUMORIsTS.
It's n Hard Thing "a he Funny-Gossip
About George Eliot and
Mark Twain.

Have any or YOU VINO nave ior 80 many
years borne with me in my whims ever
pausca 10 think who the '1dlor" Is? Have
YOU ever stopped to worder ~he.h he
could be serious and whether IT was not
sometimes dark and dreary task for
him TO rcsurrcct old jokes from the
archives OF the past and clothe them in
cnHclng garments? Did II ever occur TO
you that frequently a column Of his
stuff" represented several hours Of
nCitatcd head-scratching '.n1 thought?
Wen. such is the case. however Toor the
products OF his energy may eeem. One
fatal day, when l WAS at home with a
slight ndispOsitioD II occurred 20 me That
! would commence my ",Jier' letters,
and alasi tried to make them humor-
ous that Is 10 say. attempted 20 recite
some funny things / had seen and heard.
Since then the public have expected ne 70
keep on recitlng funny things. and-to be
csndld-I just am not equal 10 the emer-
gsncy. There are times when my labors
have been loathsome TO me, and all be-
cause / was expected TO be funny. Sc
rously. II Is against every fibre Of my
nature 10 be SO. and II / have ever for
I'll second caused you TO smile, it was
merely because ! acted the part of a
phouocrnph and repeated to the lest Of
my ability the clever things that others
had said or done. And So when ! some
times look over the many letters /
have written, a feeling Of something more
thtu sadness comes over me. for they
roprcs,nt moments of anguish and sus-
pcnse aud hours Of labor ana dsappOnt-
msut. II there is any olse thing on carth
that ls calculated to make me feel ChaTl-
tbly towards human kind. IL Is the man
I.r iu which they have received my cf-
forts and encouraged me IN my self-in-
hictol torture None know better tlan
mat there Is no one so boring, so tire
some. so CNaspciauug. and above all, so
utterly cXhlusting 20 the general public
as a person who tries TO be funny ana
can't Energy doesn't cOInt with the
wDuld-he humOrist. He could dig and dig
for thousand years and never RET an
iira, whereas II he abandoned the pro-
f,ct. something good would probably Pop
into bis head the next minute. In other
words Wit and humOr are 7pontaneous.
lut enough Of this. I have 20 Ear been
tcutisticu merely because | Sauted TO
explain why I have changed my style -
if 30 can be digulncd by that name-and
why this letter VIII be in another strain,
though over the same nom dc plume.
Tut while ! am opposed 20 funny people
ana would-be funny people. ] think the
other extreme Is Just as bad. There are
persons boz this world who have no more
sense of the humorous than hOrsc-iiy,
and ali through life they buzz around af-
ter TIC dulsst drycst things they can
find They rcvcl ina statistics and hard,
cold. dusty facts. With them "a copy of
the Code OF Virginia or a volume of Ma
,aulay would Dee as spicy as Is Don Juan
to us younger soumps. These musty tos-
sis even organic, literary societies, but
brightness and clcvcrness is rigidly ex-
cludcd from their discussions They
wouldn't. for their lives. deign to notice
modern author. or anything that wasn't
intensely. smOthCrngly dense. At the
meetings of these organizations sweet
maids of ~ discuss "The Effect of the
Tariff ON our Country" or "Thc Gram
matiCal PeCuliartics OF Paradise Lost" or
something equally as heavy They are re-
lcutls-s. pitlcss-TcmOrseiess- their
poor brains. and wouldn't allow their
mental apparatuscs 10 enjoy anything
l.hL ipc worlds. Their eisSys Involve with
out any cXaggetation, as much research
and labor as Grover Cleveland bestOws on
his annual messages. and yet they never
produce the slightest impression upon the
public. And that's one reason, | believe,
why Richmond Is such a poor literary
centre. and why the few people who have
tastes in that direction don't organize.
For my part 1 am heart and soul for lite
rary societies. but believe the bohemian
clement would add greatly TO it-that is
90 say. think that people of literary
tastes who follow other pursuits in life
make q great mistake IN attempting 10 be
too classical. That sort Of thing would
have done very well FOR John Milton or
Dr. Johnson or Lord Bacon. but IL is
ridiculous FOR amateur litcrateurs 10 at
temut t. I believe in making everything
hrieht-in having a champagne sparkle 10
every pursuit and throwing dry facts to
thc dogs Why. there are even men who
want To kick against Pocahontas and
John Smith and all those romantic Cha-
Tactcrs In our history, just because these
picturesque figures aren't statistical, and
because they afford some little recreation
L. the student OF history. IL doesn't seem
90 mc that the people who know Shaks-
ycarc, and Milton. and all those dry old
fellows are the only ones who are lite
ray. Where would James WhitcOmb
Rlcy Doe il his worth was measured by
his knowledge OF these authors?
Frequently. ! have been amazed 10 find
how many persons there are who labor
under the impression that George Eliot
is man. and who gravcly refer 10 the
wonderful authoress as he" Aud yet.
tle mistake IS quite natural one with a
I..rsou who never thought TO hunt up the
facts 90 her life The nom de plume is
masculine and. as matter Of fact, so
was George Eliot herself Every line OF
hcr writings indicates Il nature more or less
masculine. and what is more. she seems
10 bc Iabid woman-hater. But mascu-
line or feminine. 1 don't think the world
has ever produced a smarter woman. There
is only one thing ! have against her. She
is too severe on her characters at times.
Now, when read Felix Holt" who had
an ecccntT' way Of going about without
crnyat and keeping his hair uncombcd.
k,p, on hoping and hoping that ere the
hpoA ended the noble fellow would buy
himself a brush and a four-in-hand tie.
I:ut hc never did. Even the pleadtngs OF
tlo cute little woman he loved were Of
uo avail: and when the authoress finally
drew the curtain over the little world in
(which Felix had lived. tho hero disap-
psar,d from II still destitute OF his cravat
aud with his head sadly in need of a
haircut"
Iy the way. speaking OF George Eliot re-
minds me OF queer little word that no.
tced IN Felix Holt" and which I had
hitherto set down as slang. In describing
oue OF the election campaigns u which
tho hero figured 50 unfortunately the au-
thoress gave detailed account Of .fr
methods used 10 capture votes. and statci
as "a result OF these campaign fi.es
GItavcn knows, we've heard enough ab'
campaign funds in our own Stale
certl,) that many Of the workingyacn
the neighb0rhoOd were "boozlng.' !,
needless for me TO explain 10 the Re
incnd public and especially to those t,-
tsroated in politics, what the verb 10
booze" signifies rowadays. Many would
prefer 10 nave a practical illustration -
IL. rather than a detailed explanation. but
this letter Is intended TO be dry" aud
shall merely add that with George Eliot.
even as with us, .'boozlng' signined driok-
ing. looked In the dictionary for tfc
word but could not find IT, Now, the
great question with me is this: Does ,he
fact OF George Ellot's having used II
make the word mot tho action legitimate,
or Is IL stili slang?
A few days ago n strange. mysterious
follow. with any amount OF cab. snd
etlu larger allowance OF cheek, dropped
a.. "A oafstaI hiFuQelf down In