The Canton times. (Canton, Miss.) 1893-1906, 1894-08-10
HUMOR OF TEE DAY.


Gut rates Surgeons fees. - Truth.
The good hackman is known by his
carriage. Florida Times-U Union.
A kiss is song that should always
be encored. Florida Times Union.
Ringing Q belle Putting nose
ornament on Kafir woman. Halo.
The pawnbroker never gets SO old
that he takes no interest in life. Bos-
ton Transcript.
Some people do not recognize their
obligations when they meet them. -
Galveston News.
No, nv son; doctor doesn't know
everything; but he thinks you think
he does. Punch.
People who think before they speak
always manage to economic on talk.
Washington Post
When some people want counsel
they proceed to consult their own in
terests. Galveston News.
Motto for the Shopping Fiend: IF
you see what you want, price dozen
other things before asking for it,
Puck.
A man breathes, on an average, ten
thousand quarts of air dayand
talks about 1000, 600. Augusta lGa. J
Chronicle.
The woman who can pass a mirror
without looking into it has the herolsm
of which martyrs are made. Florida
Times Union.
A local dealer advertises "a new
stock of walking-sticks for gentlemen
with carved wooden heads. "-Phlla-
delphia Record.
Mrs. slopper-"Why, all these toys
are old" Shopkeeper--'Yes, madam,
but then you know most OF the babies
are new. Vogue.
An ounce of prevention is worth
pound of cure; that is to say, the
druggist is likely to charge just as
much for it. Puck. ).
When man claims that grip is'onIy'-
a vagary of "a deserted brain, 1T Is
pretty safe to bet he has never had It,.
-Philadelphia Record.
A Chicago man who had just SUR
rendered his watch to foot pad, was
moved to remark that he didn't know
when he had been SO pressed for time.
Washington Star.
The doctrine of heredity is COM
forting theory. 1t is SO pleasant. You
know, to be able to lay our fanlts and
foolishnesses on our forefathers. -
Boston Transcript. vsG.t
Traveller in Missouri want to-
find the conductor. Who has charges
of this train?" Trainman--"C Can't tell
till after we pass the next strip o.
woods. "-Cleveland Plaindealer. -
4tDo you believe that practice al
ways makes perfect?" "No !; it hasn't
made anything but a row ever since
that idiot upstairs commenced with
his flute. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Byers-..What was your idea in
getting vaccinated on your rheumatic
arm?" Satisfactorily of pain. 1t
couldn't make the arm hurt worse than
it did already. Chicago Tribune.
Charlie Sniffers tout with Dollie
Dimple) -"P Pardon me for bowling to-
that shabby old codger, but feel OBJ
iged to do it. Dollie-.sWho is he.
Charlie?" Charlie-ssHe is the head
of our firm. "-Spere Moments.
Nell-s'How do you know she is in
love with Jack?" Belle because
she told me he was perfectly horrid,
and if she were In my place she
wouldn't have anything to do with
him. Philadelphia Record.
Footman-'fSay, Jeems, what would
we do if we found pocketbook with
$40, 900 that the boss had left in the
carriage?" Coachman = 'sDo? We
wouldn't do nothing at all. We'd live
on our income. Texas Siftings.
Customer-s'Why is it You charge
as mnch for n six-pound pig as you do
for sixteen-pound pig?" Butcher
''The smaller the pig, mum, the worse
it hurts us to kill it. Got to charge
somethin' fur our feelin's, mum. -
Chicago Tribune.
Miss Seare-ssJack Marblehead gave
me a great reception yesterday. He
has cannon on his yacht and wheniI
came on board he fred salute Of ever
30 many guns-forty-nlne, think it
Waa" Miss -Smorfe-fsOna for ovarv