davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

Lawyer Gin cross cXamination)-So this
woman was shot i'll her doorway?
Smart Witness-No, sir; she was shot in
the arm.
Lawyer (cxcitcdly)-You think you're
smart, don't you?
Witness (calmly)-No, sir; Pm Brown
Truth
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
Mother and Daughter.

Little Ethel-AIamma, wish you'd wash
Willie prcttic's face.
Mamma-Thc idea! He's neighbors
little boy. have nothing to do with him.
Little Ethcl-But have. We've become
engaged, an | want to kiss him.-Good
News
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
ROANOKE, VA, JANUARY 5, 1894.

WE wonder if those 500 school
teachers of Florida who protest against
the coming fight between Corbett and
Mitchell believe in corporal punish
ment?
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
a PHILOSOPHER.

"Terrapin," said Mr.. Drefllcshort, lis one
OF those things that come high that you
don't have to have"
And he laid the bill of fare down and
cheerfully ordered fried liver - Chicago
Tribune
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

II never get mad at fool, was the
cutting remark of man who wanted
to crush rival. THAT accounts for
your always being on such good terms
with yourself" was the reply.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

The largest empire on the earth is
Great Britain. Its area is 1861, 85S
square miles, moro than one-sixth Of
tho worlds land surface.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
Clear Sailing.

Beloved-Papa says he sees no reason why
we shouldn't be married
Lover (ecstatically) he wasn't
pinched in that last deal after all-Detroil
Tribune
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

WHAT coup d'etat is Governor Flower,
Of New York, trying to spring in his
communication that the civil service
laws must be obeyed in State appoint
ments?
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

If You would hit the mark, you must
aim little above it. Every arrow that
flies feels the attraction of the earth.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

WEALTH without health is not bless
ing but curse. You can regain your
health by using Radam's Microbe Killer,
cure for all blood and chronic diseases.
Particulars and book free, at JOHNSON
e IOUNSON'S
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
How to Gain Perennial Youth.
old is Maud?

Gertic-llow old is Maud?
Ethel-She has been % ever since fire
in her house burned up the family Bible
six years agO.-Chicago Record
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
The American Abroad.

Diggs-Thero is ono thing about IN
American l don t understand.
Figgs-What?
Diggs-Hc brags about his country
all tho time no is here and about our
country all tho time after he gets
home. London Tit-Bits.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
Bore Traces nfHis Guilt.

Harold Honesteele," said the beautiful
girl In scornful tones, tits useless for you
to try to deceive me. You have been shay
Ing yourself; your face betrays YOU'D
pnnls
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05
Good Business Opportunity.

DARKROOM and liquor license for sale
at bargain; fixtures will be rented
cheap. Address at once "BARG AIM
TIMES office.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

Doctors say that there is n small ganglia
in the throat that has control of the mus
Giles of that region and acts very much like
true brain.
Biologists say that Richmond is built
over bed of chalk that contains 10000, 900
minute extinct shells to every cubic inch
of the stratum.
The grip microbe is n rounded atom with
a body marked with numerous creases ana
lines, each having smaller radiating lines
which give larger ones the appearance OF
b:ing connected by fine hairs.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-01-05

Entered at the poatoflcc at Roanoke as second
lass matter.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
FOR FEEB1F-M1NDED CHILDREN.

The directors of the Training School for
feeble minded children, at Vineland, have sent
out an appeal for help. They say that they had
nearly completed a beautiful cottage for the
accommodation Of pupils, and that the building
was largely equipped with most improved and
beautiful sanitary fixtures, together with steam
heating appliances, and sundry and other
furnishings. Eight rooms were completed, and
part of them in use by sixteen employees and
children. A week or two later fifty people
would have been occupying the house. The
new school room was finished and the new
teacher had begun to use it. At two O'Clock on
Sunday morning, Feb. 25, the building was in
flames, on two floors and in the basement,
within few minutes from the first signs of fire.
No children were harmed, but the engineer and
his wife perished in the flames. We had spent
over Sis, 900 on the building, the contents, and
the connecting double-decked corridor. The
building is total wreck. Our unpaid indebt-
edness is about $500, our insurance $4,000. So
that practically cur total loss will be very close
to $4,000. Our material prosperity has been
retarded at least one year. It has seemed to
us that if the public knew of our calamity, our
needs, our over crowded cottages, they would
come to our relief at once.
Donations of money or supplies may be sent
to the superintendent, S. Olin Garrison, at
Vineland, N. j., or to the Treasurer, W. Graham
Tyler, 1920 Spruce-street. Philadelphia, Pa, or
to any member of the Board of Directors Or
Lady Visitors. Miss Rachel E. Atkinson, of
Yardville NJ, is one of the Lady Visitors.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
TIE CANARY TOOK TO THE WATER.

GIVE have canary at our home,' said a
gentleman from Lincoln, Nebraska, few days
ago, that is considered by the family to be
you why we think so. The bird-cage hangs in
a room in which there is a large coalstove. One
afternoon we were all going out for short
while, and as the fire was low my wife filled the
stove with coal and turned on the draft, expect
ing to be home before the fire got too hot. We
were gone some time longer than we expected,
however, and when we returned the room was
like furnace, and the stove red,hot. My wife's
first thought was Of the bird, and upon looking
once that he had been suffocated by the intense
heat. She immediaty got chair and climbed
up to look into the cage, fully expecting to see
the poor bird stretched out on the floor, dead
Such was far from being the case, however. In
stead, there he was sitting down fat in his
bath-tub with only his head, which he would
now and then dip into the water, exposed to the
furnace-lke heat Of the room."
The Advance., 1894-05-17
A MAN OF NERVE.

The thistle does not sting if it be firmly
grasped. The ghost runs away when one
walks straight up to it. When Louis Napoleon
was president of the French Republic the com
mander at Lyons was General Castellane, an old
soldier, whose stern rule kept in check the Red
Republicans of that disorderly city. 1t was a
time when courage on the part of the people
might have spared the French nation from the
long humiliation Of the second empire. Unfor-
tunatey for them, the nerve was enlisted on the
side of the man who afterward became emperor,
and the Republicans could boast much but do
little. One Of the most radical and boisterous
Of the Republicans of Lyons was barber, wfo
openly boasted that he only waited for the
opportunity of Kidding the city of it's stern com.
mander The general heard Of the threat, and
one afternoon he ordered his coachman to drive
to the barber's shop Leaving his carriage, the
general, unattended, entered the shop, took
seat in a vacant chair and desired the barber to
shave him. The astonished braggart performed
the operation as well as his nervousness would
permit. When he had finished, the general,
while paying him, quietly said:
'Monsieur, since you have not avaiied your
self of the opportunity to cut my throat which
have given you, would it not be we'll for you to
refrain from uttering threats that you have not
the courage to carry out ?"
The Advance., 1894-05-17
INITIATING BLACKBIRDs.

IT a never-failing source of amusement to
hear what blackbirds can do. They are wise
old fellows, some of them, and can lmltate at many
sounds in their quizzical way. The Iete9rom
calls attention to some of these limitations that
are remarkable: ,
When reared by hand from the nest the
blackbird is capable of forming strong attacn-
ments and from his wonderful Initiative pow
ers will make himself great favorite. He Will,
if trained when young, learn to whistle almosG
any tune that may be taught him.
1.-THE best and perhaps the quickest way IS TO
take him when about six weeks, or not later
than two months, DID, to a quiet room away
from any other bird, and in the evening ana
the first thing in the morning give him his hrsG
lesson. The tune may be played on mute OF
any other wind instrument. 1t IS ADVISABLE 10
feed him before commencing operations: ana
some bribe or other, as, for instance lively
worm, should be placed in his sight.
"Pay over a portion of the tune you wish
him to learn, and he will evidently pay pal tlcu'
lar attention to it. Repeat it with precisely the
same time and expression, say twenty minutes.
Then give the bird little quiet, so that he
may if he will, have an opportunity OF 1mlta-
ting it. Ifhe should make any attempt, instant
" give him his reward, coaxlng and caresslng
him meanwhile. Being, for a bird, possessed OF
strong reasoning powers, he will soon discover
why the worm or other bribe is given him, and
will before long understand how to earn IL.
When once learned, the tune or tunes Will new
er be forgotten, but pass, as it were, into It's
song.
cit is rather tedious undertaking, but the
result is invariably satisfactory. A blackbird
will also initiate other birds very minutely, and
though there is little variety in his natural song,
it is made up for by its pure flutelike tone and
full volume. II most readily initiates the thrush,
but it will catch many notes from the nightin-
gale, to which bird its tone has most resem-
blance, were it not for the introduction CT Sc
veral harsh notes. When kept in confinement
it is always advisable to bring it up when young
near to some good singing, bird, as it will there
by learn its neighbor's song, and, intermixing
the notes with its own, make most agreeable
songster.
whenever the weather permits place the
bird in the sun, and he will repay any care be-
slowed upon him by his keeper He is not dis
mayed, however, by damp weather, as it is
invariably after a shower that his song is the
blithest, and during the hottest days of summer
he should be we'll shaded and kept cool, in
very dry weather his song seems to depart.
He will begin to sing early in the year-say the
end of February or in March and will contin-
ue until the autumn, if the summer is not too hot
He is sometimes rather eccentric in his choice of
subjects for imitation, one having been known
to initiate very correctly the growing of cock,
which he would mix up in his song in rather a
ludicrous manner"
The Advance., 1894-05-17
MONTANA HAS AN ICE MINE.

AN ''ice mine' is reported from New-York
Gulch, Meagher County, Montana In early
days the gulch turned out $2,OOO,OO worth of
gold, but of late years it has been nearly de-
serted. Last Summer, says the Northwest
Magazine, two prospectors uncovered the
mouth of an old shaft and glanced curiously
down it. They saw the ice, which reached up
to within four feet and eight inches of tie
surface. They considered it curious, and
thought what good place it would be to keep
their meat, butter and other food from spoil
ing while they were working in the neighbor
hood. They lowered their provender into the
icemine with the best results. Naturally they told
of their find to other Miners with the result
that for a radius of three or four miles around
the miners came to the ice shaft, lowered the
beef and other provisions into the mine, put
ting their tags on it, and hosting the rope from
time to time as provisions were needed. 1t
is godsend to the miners, as it enables them
to keep meat fresh in the very hottest weather.
The miners are unab TO give any solution of
this strange phenomenon. The formation of
the gulch is shale, reddish in color and full of
fssures. 1t is supposed that gusts of air from
a cold cave may have underground connections
with the shaft, and rapid evaporation near the
top may explain the continued formation of
ice there as iG is cut away.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
SOAP PAPER.

TRAVELLERS on the European continent know
by experience that unless they take soap in their
travelling bags they will, in all probability, have
to make their toilet without any. a form of
soap which will be appreciated by them is the
soap paper, brought out in France. The paper
is cut into pieces, slightly larger than visiting
cards, and is covered on each side with thin
layer of ordinary soap of soap variously
colored and perfumed. These soap tickets are
put into memorandum books, cardcases or
pocketbooks, just as if they were business or
visiting cards. Each piece serves for one time
In the manufacture of this new product, sheets
Of unsized paper are immersed in a bath Of
cocoanut oil soap prepared in the same way as
for the manufacture of toilet soaps. The strips
of paper are dried, passed between two rollers,
in order to render them smooth and slightly,
and then cut to the proper dimensions and
stamped with any desired mark.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
FARRAGUT'S DEATH.

ADMIRAL FARRAGUT's death was due to the
selfishness of woman, Rev. James J. Kane,
chaplain of the Brooklyn Navy Yard said in a
recent lecture. The admiral and his wife we're
coming from California, when woman occu-
pying seat in front of them in the car opened
a window. Admiral Farragut was ill, and the
strong draft of wind which blew directly upon
him chilled him. Mrs. Farragut asked the
woman courteously if she would not kindly
close the window, as it was annoying to her
won't close the window. don't care if it does
annoy him. I am not going to smother for
him." Admiral Farragut thus caught severe
cold, which resulted in his death. few days
before the end came he said eff I die, that
woman will be held accountable"
The Advance., 1894-05-17
A YEARS BEER DRINKING.

SOME notion of the enormous consumption
of beer in civilized countries of the world may
be gained from the fact that last year no less
than 5000, 900, 900 gallons of beer were imbibed
in Europe alone Germany of course headed
the list of consumants with 1,O51, 900, 900 Great
Britain being a good second with 855. 900
gallons third came Austria with 300,000,000
gallons while France and Belgium we're
bracketed fourth, with 22O, 900, 900 apiece. Den
mark tails'' with miserable 145,0OO gallons.
Of countries outside of Europe the United
States and Canada, Of course come first with an
annual consumption of 8OO,OOO,OOO gallons
Australia taking second place at 22,500,OOO gal
Ions. The above figures, of course, represent
round numbers.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
DIRE POVERTY I'm RUSSIA.

The amount of suffering and misery that
Russian peasants are now undergoing in some
of the governments is in the interior cannot be
imagined by those unacquainted with this
country. In the government of Kursk, which
may be taken as an example, the peasants are
entirely without the means of existence. The
Noroe VremyG states that in some villages
where there are from 400 to 500 inhabitants it
would be impossible to find much as two
rubles-about four shillings-among them, and
all the crops which they gathered last year have
long been sold. How these poor wretches are to
exist-it cannot be said that they live-till the
next harvest it is impossible to conceive. In
the government of Oxenhurg the inhabitants Of
entire districts are dying of want. Some of the
poor creatures, it is stated allow themselves the
luxury of piece of bread once every two days.
but the general food is millet bread, which
when the loaves are baked and still warm, looks
like cement, and when it becomes cold is hard
er, if possible, than stone.-OdessG Correspon-
dent.
Not SMART ENoUGH.-A man went into the
country for walk He carried his overcoat on
his arm but finding it burdensome, hung it on
a fence. Taking card from his pocket he
wrote
'Do not touch this coat-infected with scar
let feVer.n
He came back two hours later, and found the
card, upon which was written, underneath his
warning:
"Thanks for coat. I've had scarlet fever.
and am not afraid"
A TOUGH YARN" Half pound of steak,'
said a lad entering butchers shop in Harlem.
Then he added "And say, mister, let it be
tough"
though, my lad ?'' said the butcher. ''Why
do you want it tough?"
"'Why," said the lad, "if it's tender, father'n
eat it all, but if it's tough, some of us young
sters'n happen to get Bit"
IT is not how much we have but how much
we enjoy that brings happiness.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
HER CONSOLATION.

A WOMAN was sentenced to imprisonment by
bench Of magistrates, the presiding justice of
which was a well-known officer of militia,
whose pride in his regiment was the subject of
public comment On receiving her sentence she
thus addressed the bench: well, your wor-
ships, my father was Jagged for life, and my
husband is doing ten years. hard and have
a brother and sister that are two out and out bad
ones but thank the Lord that made me that
nobody belonging to me was ever connected
VII the 'milishy' Sheffield (Eng.) Telegraph
and Star.
"PLL give you your breakfast if you chop
that WOOD" she announced in an ultimate tone
of voice.
Madam" said the tramp, "Pd admire to
chop that wood for you immensely only fur one
thing"
"What is that?'
''When was little boy my mother 9seter
make me recite fur company, an said Wood
man. Spare That Tree over an over so many
times that the idee of putin an ak into any
thin in the shape of wood totally wrecks my
nerves."
ALL sins are great no matter how small they
seem.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
WHAT sE1GNIoRAGE

STRICTLY speaking, seigniorage is the charge
made by any national government for coming
bullion on private account. 1t usually takes
the form of certain percentage, fixed by law
and deducted from the metal brought to the
mint. In other words, when an individual
brings to government mint quantity of one
of the precious metals to be coined on his
private account. he will receive weight of
coins equal to the weight of pure metal brought,
less the percentage deducted compensation
to the government for its services and incidental
expenses of coinage, and plus the weight of the
alloy. AT the present time the United States
government makes no charge for coming gold,
and does not receive silver, copper or nickie
for coinage on private account. Therefore the
term seigniorage is not strictly applicable to
any transaction that takes place in connection
with Federal mintS.
However, as used in current discussions of
the silver question, the term is taken to mean
the nominal profit made by the government on
its purchases of silver and the coinage of the
same. To illustrate: The present market price
of silver is almost exactly seventy cents an
ounce, while its "coinage value' is precisely
S1.29 an ounce, so that on every ounce of silver
bought and coined there is an apparent profit
of ffty-nine cents For reasons that have been
more than once carefully explained in the
Commercial Advertiser, this profit is rather
apparent than real. seeing that the coinage
value" is rather technical than actual.
When it is proposed to coin the seigniorage
silver now in the treasury the meaning of the
proposition is that all the silver bullion pur-
chased under the act Of July, 1890, commonly
called the Sherman act, not already coined and
over and above the amount that would be
needed to furnish standard dollars to match
each dollar represented by treasury notes issued
under that law, shall be coined into standard
dollars.
THE OAK.-Dr. Holmes writes "The oak
chooses a horizontal direction for it's limbs so
that their whole weight may tell, and then
stretches them out so so feet so that the strain
may be mighty enough to be worth resisting.
At 80 degrees the oak stops short. To slant
of purpose to bend downward, weakness Of
organization Other trees shirk the work of
resisting gravity. The oak defes it."
LET man but speak with genuine earnestness
the thought, the emotion, the actual condition
of his own heart and other men, so strangely
are we all knit together by the tie of sympathy,
must and will give heed to him.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
rHE BROOK AND THE BLOSSOM.

/ STOOD beside the stream from Winters thrall
Released but newly Round each pebby fall
The water, dmpled like the laughing face
Of some sweet child, that, sleeping for space
In Graded calm, by early morning CLEANS
Is kissed awake from harmless happy dreams ooom
The air was heavy with the spicy bloom
of many sprays along the messy brink ,.
So bient the brooks voice and the blossoms smell,
That which was song or scent. scarce could tell.
~ Charles Lotin Hildreth.
The Advance., 1894-05-17
The cats that climb the fences

The cats that climb the fences
The frogs that pipe in the marsh,
All sing their tune,
Blythe light of the moon,
To the words, "Oh this is harsh.'
The blue bird sits in an apple-tree.
And the robin sits in the grove:
And they shiver these notes
From their little cold throats,
"Oh bring us red-hot stove."
The Advance., 1894-05-17

LOOKING Up A Word" Father sal said q MS us
son, looking up from book "Wha5 Is PPl3T Wbv
-a-oh, surely you know what pride is. A sort sort
know Just get the dictionary that's the thing
to tell you exactly what it is There's notnlng
like dictionary, Johnny"
"Here it isO said the latter, after an exhaust
ing search. "'Pride, being proud"
7Um-yes, that's it," replied the father
"Well. look at proud That's the way
you've got to hunt these things out, my lad"
"pve got it," answered Johnny. 49, Pre-prl-
pro'-why-w
What does it say?'
Proud, having pride.'"
'That's it There you are as clear as day. |
tell you, Johnny, there's nothing like a goodc
dictionary when you are young. Take care OF
the binding. my son, as you put it back "-BoS-
ton Home Journal.
The Advance., 1894-05-17

A CONDUCTOR on the Market-street line re-
Gently became the father of twins boy and
girl. They were christened "'Oscar'' and
" Car o'-line. Philadelphia Record
The Advance., 1894-05-17

THE man who tries to defend himself by saw
ing that he gives as much as somebody else
knows that he is not doing half enough
The Advance., 1894-05-17

EVERY boy should inaugurate among his
qualities "politeness." 1t is this which gives
one the notoriety in public that is for his good
The Advance., 1894-05-17

BRAVE, upright characters are always appre-
ciated, nobleness and gentleness are inseparable.
Teach your children this fact early, and their
youth will be blessing, their man and woman
hood crown of glory to you in whose hands
the innocent souls are given.
The Advance., 1894-05-17

A REVISED VERSION. happened in Sunday
School. The subject under discussion was
Solomon and his wisdom. A little girl was
asked to tell the story Of Solomon and the
women who disputed the possession of a child.
She timidly rose up and answered: "Solomon
was very wise man. One day two women
went to him quarreling about a baby. One
woman said, No, this is my child.' But Solo
mon spoke up and said: mo, no. ladies do not
quarrel. Give me my sword and I will make
t,Oins of him, so each of you can have one p "
The Advance., 1894-05-17

LET man but speak with genuine earnestness
the thought, the emotion, the actual condition
of his own heart and other men, so strangely
are we all knit together by the tie of sympathy,
must and will give heed to him.
The Advance., 1894-05-17

IF Gods children could know the truth as he
knows it, none of them would ever shed an
other tear of sorrow on earth.
The Advance., 1894-05-17

ALL sins are great no matter how small they
The Advance., 1894-05-17

THE dreariness of drudgery may be changed
to the blessedness of drudgery, if the daily
growth in mental power. and as a gymnasium
for building up character.