Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-08-24
TOLD BY MUSTACHES.
THEY BETRAY THE CHARACTER OF
THE MEN WHO WEAR THEM.
Originally Used - Ecins by Which Slave,
Were Driven, They Are Now Grown For
characterization some of the Many Va
rietics and Their Significance.


rieties and Their Significance.
There is much that is unhappy in tn,
hiNinrN of mustachcs They wrro ori0i
nnlly grown and led rs rcins by which
slaves were driven from market To markc
by their masters Beard, were general,
popular before mustachCs were common
only 90 years ago in many parts of tin.
country the latter were considered ron
curiosltics, and the men who first wore
thcm did not by so doing raise themsclve.
IN the good opinions of the people
Try To imagine il you can, George Wash.
ington or John Adams or Thomas .Jeffer-
SON wearing IA mustache. A picture of
George Washington showing him in the
act OF curling his waXcd mustache would
Instantly tumble him from the lofty ped
estal whereon loving people has en-
shrined him
Mustachos have moral characters. or the
contrary, just rs it may happen, and when
lhtelIlgently studied and classified serve
as pretty correct indices to the tempera-
ments OF the persons they are intended to
adorn. The NICE trim and we'll behaved
mustache signifies that its owner has no
striking traits of character He is neither
| any better nor any worse than any one
hairs of even length lie alongside each
| other signifies an even temperature and
mn average disposition Such a man will
not love or hate desperately He is in life
what the middle go is in music. He will
be fairly successful in all he undertakes.
put he Will never undertake anything ex.
traordinary. He will never writ "A grand
epic poem nor organize an expedition TO
discover the north pole He is what may
be termed safe man. Young ladies
need not hesitate to wed such a man, but
they must not expect him to develop into
real genius.
Inc scant, retiring mustache that tim
idly fingers half way between down
ana real hair has something in its favor
Its owner Is not murderous or evilly dis
posed, although he may smoke cigarettes.
This style of mustachc was originally de-
signed for clerks in dry goods stores but
1t has since been affected by dudes and
others until now it has no field exclusive
ly its own. Many good "clcyah fellahs"
have this kind of mustache, and viewed |
in all its lights it is one Of the most harm |
less as well as the most hairless varieties. |
Persons who are uncertain whether they |
want mustache or not usually try this |
style first
The Whisk broom mustachc that flercely
stands out from the lip and each hair of
which asserts its individuality impresscs
one very much as does a blind board"
on vicious COW. 1t means that strangers
should beware of getting too close to the
Wcarcr OF it. Persons who enjoy near re
lations with such mustache often learn
to love it; but, rs Il rule, little children and
timid women shudder at the sight of it.
l. n IA fa1 -;.l |
"a man owning that sort of a mustache-
not II he IS larger than you.
such man means what he saws. or at
least he thinks he does, and for the time
II amounts practically to the same thing.
Men with this kind Of mustachc usually
make love but once and marry the girl
mat they set their hearts upon or if she
refuses them they murder her in cold blood
lnd sometimes commit suicide When
man Of that kind tells a lie, he sticks TO
L lots better than many others do the
ruth 1t may be remarked, however,
hat all the rules governing this type of
hustachc have numerous exceptions
he long, dropping mustache that looks
IS If it had lost its sustaining force suo-
ycst withercd flower that is bowed down
because of a drought. such mustache
ppcars always to be thirsty. and the
hancc5 are that it is. \ mustache of that ]
ind a rule, never thriycs except il is
veil irrigated. If it DROPS and is bright |
andy or bichoridc Of gold color it will !
bsorb moro moisture than a section of the
ahara If you don't believe it, ask it up
% the bar some time. such "a mustache
5 an expensive one for its owner To keep
"a uourishing condition. Many men have |
zen their fortunes swallowed up-or D.
lther, down-in an effort To keep the c
BOTS OF such mustachc well watcrcd
The man who has sufficient will power "
} overcome "a mustachc of that variety. q
nd many men have, deserves TO he elect Il
/ president of a temperance society. But e
will always have 70 live down the ,us- a
iclOn hi. mustacho awaken, i'm thcmiuds II
strangers who judge him simply by n
J., appearance. He may be- % good neigh Il
)r loving husband and Kind father. ID
lt nc Is moro likely 10 be selected from p'
hong party of men out on pleasure Il
nkct rs the one who has a corl,scrcw w
ddcn In his inside pocket some Of the oil
orld . greatest mon have worn this style 81
mustachc, but only young ladies with IL
strong governing power should choose OF
Ich men for husbands, I'll
The frouzy mustachc that looks quite like pi
small portion of a hair mattress is the
'rdcst TO get acquainted with Its owner hl
ay or may not be all you could wish. He cl
ny become poetical or musical or liter tl'
y If he takes a notion, or he may butch
or dig wells If he fakes a notion Ho
not so practical as nc is romantic and
~. His thoughts and purposes, like the M
IRIS Of his mustache, are tangled and all
certain. He is not quite sure whether wi
wants 10 preach or study law or farm tn
Keep temperance billiard hall in a m,
state or become a clown in a sh
Gus. He is i'm no particular hurry about du
ing anything lie marrics young and lif
quite sure 10 love his wife, because he he
so constituted that hc can love any one th'
thout any great amount of strain upon ga
affections. an
lie l. pleasant man 10 90 on "a long va sci
ion trip with. lie is happy as long as Ma
money holds out, and when his money en-
gone he would just rs soon spend a i'm
'nd's Many great men whose names ont
'rn the pages Of history had mustachcs
this sort and SO had others who came
the end of their rope by prcarrangcd
"A between jury, judge and sheriff. mi
\ mustachc that Curls beautifully and