The Opelousas courier., 1894-02-24
L1MEKILN CLUB PHILOSOPHY.

cit has cum to my knowledge" said
Brother Gardner, after the stove had
been righted up and the windows low
cred to let out the ~smoke-'it has
cum to nv knowledge dat Brudder Way
down Beebe has jest about dun gone
crazy GA de subiick of philosophy. l
also Farm dat Kurnel johnson has spent
Sc fur books on dat subjick, although
it's powerful hard work fur him to spell
cat and git de words in whar dey be-
long. Also dat Elder Toots has been As
sittin' in his cabin fur de last week,
shoes off an feet on a char, a.tryin' 10
find out why dar am a holiness fjout heat
an a GOODNESS bout cold. Deed, but
dar seems to be a sort O. craze among de
members of dis Limekiln club jist now
fur philosophy, an l want to say a few
words to yo' who am present.
sDar hain't no secret bout dis philos-
ophy bizness, an dar hain't no sorter use
fur any of yo' to spend any money or loaf
about de house. l kin tell yo' all yo'
want to know. Ali yo' need am plain,
eberday philosophy, without any bilver
plstin' on it. De philosophy of philoso.
ply am as plain as the pose on yo'r face.
Fur instance:
eff Samuel Shin spends TO- days in de
week loa6n' around saloons and foolin'
wild game chikens some OF de Shin chilpen
hev got to go bar'fut.
eff Anthony johnson losses $12 with
of time to win So on a boss race he's $40
short, n all de fggerin'in de world can't
make it any odder way.
"Brudder Cabiff Arms 50 per week.
He has a wife an six chil'en an keeps
five dawgs. Does philosophy encourage
him in de hope of bein' WORT a milIyon
dollars some day2 Not much. Philoso-
ply says he'll oe mighty lucky if he ever
gets Is cents ahead of de game.
"On fo'ty different occasLuns last
summer | saw Jedge Primrose asleep on
his dcah-steps when odder men. wal at
work. AM philosophy providin' him
wild chicken potpie an Mocha coffee dis
winter? Not as we knows of! On de
contrary, he's powerful happy when he
humps up again a cold later an a cup of
2-shillin' tea.
'Last spring Shindig Watkins bought
a gold watch fur $15 an a diamond pin
fur $40 mo-. Dis fall he's get an ole
towel pinned around him fur an under
shirt an am maxim pathetic inquiries
bout de price of turnips, Do yo' want
any better philosophy dan dat?
"Last summer Majah Scott arrove in
dis town from Virginny wild his family.
He rented a box at de possoffis; his wife
gin a high tea; he rented a piano at s.
per month; he bought tickets to straw
berry festivals, an de family was seen at
de theater. De odder day dar was a
crash which shook de United States. De
majah reached de end of dat $14O he
had got for his mewl when he left Vir-
ginny, an today he am hunting fur
stoves to black. Oar was philosophy
dar, but he didn't see it. Philosophy
teaches us dat if yo' try to make $40
answer fur s 1000 something has got to
bust sooner Or later.
''De Rev. Penstock am another shinin'
example Of philosophy. lie had $iOOin
de bank to run him frew dis winter. He
drawed it out and took Mrs. Penstock to
de sea shore and flung on a heap of style.
De odder day he borrowed half a dollar
Of me to buy co'nmeal. Philosophy
orter told him dat if he spent his money
gwine to de seashore he couldn't hev it
to buy mincemeat in de winter, but he
couldn't see it.
"My frens, l do not wish to dictate,
nor would | fo'ce my advice upon any of
yo'. l hope, however, to find yo' CON
sistent in dis philosophy bizness. De
man who throws up a cash job to loaf
aroun' home an study philosophy may
git a few theories, but he can't trade 'em
fur meat or Eaters. De philosophy of
heat won't buy an obereoat fur Jinuary
weather. De philosophy of cold won't
pay de rent in July. 1t may be mighty
interestin' to know why de airth moves
around de sun, but shoes and stockin's
cost money. 1o'may wonder why de
wind blows, or why de sea am salt, or
why de moon doan' shine at MONDAY,
but when de landlord calls fur de rent
he expects his money. About half
philosophy, half horse sense, and steady
work at 81 a day am jest about de dose
fur common folks like US. If de white
folks kin stand a leetle mo- OATS DER
lookout."-[M. Quad, in Chicago Times.