St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-06-10
ODDS AND ENDS.

- - S04o AMI ENOSe
we Americans dearly love our Jokes
ana puns. and even the sacred guild OF
authorshtp Is not so exalted that the
Jaker dares not have his laugh at it and
with 1t. One showed his irreverence
when he asked the seller of books il he
mad "The Woman in White" "All
Alone" and "In the Dark" and bIandIy
assured the vender of brain products. 1
On his affirmative reply, that he had
Ia Good Thing" Now Miss Harraden's
book. that has made her suddenly noted
II not famous.is made his shining mark,
and he pictures a card table with stacks
OF poker chips on it, and labels it
Chips Thar Pass in the Night"
= %a.
Artists don't always preserve the
eternal unities. They often put The
dnilktnaid on the wrong side of the cow
in their pastoral pictures, and here In
the May cosmopolitan. Reginald Coke
ihas a picture OF "The Kitchen Win
dow. with flower pot in the window
and the kitchen table before it, with
its top scrubbed into immaculate white
ness and-inemory of our mothers
Z kitchen defend us-the teakettle with
its bottom swarthy with the SCOT of the
stoves fire, sitting on corner of it.
The picture accompanies and illus
traJes chapter OF HOwels' Altrurian
dreams. to which he has given over>his
common sense, and it may be that, in
stead of being ludicrOus blunder of the
artist it is only his way of saying that
in his opinion Mr.. Howells' aitruism is
as6ur of place in this world of ours as
would be sooty-bottomed teakettle OH
kitchen table top labOriously rubbed
white.
One old darby in Mobile carried to his
deathDed a higher opinion of the Yan-
KEGS than he had before. because Of
little incident in his life and mine. |
was riding down one of the sandy
streets of that city on sand dune. just
after our capture of it at the close of the
war, when ahead of me saw a darky
drayman trying to urge his balky horse
to take up the line of march. A few
days before l had run across one of
those paragraphs which the scrap editor
likes to pick up and start Oh its inform
ing travels among his readers. which
said that balky horse might be started
by opening his mouth and throwing in
handful of sand. rode up to the dis
concerted drayman and said: "Uncle,
get down and open his mouth and throw
i'll handful of sand; that will start
him." He did as suggested; the aston
ished horse shook his head, and. after
obedient to his drivers g'long," started
off on trot, with the darky ejaculat-
ing: "Bress my soul; dem Yankees
knows eberything.'
read with interest the account given
In the organ of the administration that
has just retired from control of the city
land its police, how appointments are
made on the ''foorce." because these re-
formers have different way of doing
things from the conservatives, and it is
just as we'll to look at all sides of thes e
matters. Once in while one can pick
up good point even from them. es-
pecially was curious to learn what they
thought policeman should be and not
be; should do and not do; what good
habits he had and ones he hadn't. All
the questions on the blank seemed
proper enough until struck the one
which asks him. as narrated by the
organ. whether he drinks. or chews
and smokes tobacco" If man uses
tobacco, what difference does it make
whether he drinks it or chews and
smokes it, or whether he does one of
! these things or any two in conjunction,
ioE all of them? And does reform adj
sm1histration draw line between drink.
ing tobacco and chewing it, and does
the drinking or the chewing debar
fellow from getting on the force?
Michael Mullen, of New Ulm. banker,
farmer and one of the straightest of
Democrats. probably couldn't make
political speech to save his neck. but he
can make point with the sharpest of
ends on it, and then drive the point in
farther than all the fellows who can
spout by the hour on the stump. Two
years ago he ran afoul Of a threshiag
crew of farmers, all Republicans but
one or two, and as the campaign was Oh
and politics catching. the talk soon
drifted into the absorbing topic. and
one of the farmers asserted that if
Cleveland was elected it would shut up
all the factories in the country. "Yes:"
said Mullen, tive will then have free
trade, and every shop will have to shut
down, perhaps. Now suppose this hap
pens and the shops shut down and the
men are thrown out Of work, how many
of you men will agree to chip in $50
year to keep the shops running and the
men at work?" No response. chow
many will give S25. SIS, S5?'' won't
give them a cent. Why should we?
What do they give us?' were the an
swers. "You wouldn't give them
cent, eh?'' retorted Mullen, land still
you fellows are all going to vote for
party which makes law that makes
the poorest man among you give more
than $50 year to these same manufact-
urers. A bright lot of Americans, you
are."
1 wish MI. Lowry would have signs
backs of the three rear seats of his open
cars, which he has thoughtfully set
apart for the use of men who smoke the
weed delicious. reading: "These Seats
Are Reserved for Smokers" 1t would
save many woman from an overflow
of indignation at the ''ungentlemanly
brute'' who takes seat in front of her
! and puffs his pine or cigar. whose smoke
the draft of the rapid car sweeps back
into her face. She doesn't know that
these seats are assigned to smokers, and
Is not aware that it is she who is doing
thaungallant thing by lntruding her
iself where she does not belong and
on the privileges of men.
Most of US who go home to lunch or
have to come back down town after
dinner find Solace for 1.-THE cares that