The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-02-04
TOLD ON THE QUIET.
Snap shots by Mental Cameras.
Original and Otherwise.

They must be a queer crowd in Dem
YER There is governor who wants
10 swim in gore UP to his horses bride
relrs-he wouldn't be satisfied with one
inch less; another official who pro-
posed to fight for an idea that he had
eyoluted from his gray matter until
Hell Freezes Over" and now. to make
Inc TRINITY complete, comes Colonel A.
| Z. FISK, who challenges Senator Rovd
to a duel, at the time Initiating in
language that cannot be very well
misunderstood. that if the sanafor 7id
not nght or retract his alleged SANDER
ne tF'isk) would take a club and heat
the senator's brains out 1t is to be
hoped that all of these curios viii be
eAhlpited at the Midwinter fair.
The merchant who keepeth his 90
ment sidewalk free from snow tbaee
days, doeth far more towards heIning
on the Good Cause than he who super.
lntendeth the shipping at red flannel
SHIRTS to the heathens in Africa,
One Of the most comical sides to the
Hawaiian trouble-and it has several
is the plaintive and fetching wav j.,
which the real estate sharks on the
Islands talk about the ''iicentiousness''
OF the queen. The fellows down there
are so angelic, so good, so pure them
selves, that the thought of being ruled
over by a woman who is not like
Caesars wife, strikes terror to their
inmost souls.
Proceeding on their line of argu-
ment, suppose these very same good
people-they must, indeed, be truly
goodwill when good Queen Vic dies
cali upon Congress and the president
and wrest the crown from the cad of
is royal ighness, Albut Edward.
1t may have detrimental effect upon
some of the young bloods who have
decided to go to the Midwinter fair
TO learn that San Francisco has only
one saloon to every ninety-six persons.
and the average will, of course, be cut
down while the fair is in progress.
A new word has been coined in con-
nection with the electric street cars.
'Motorman' never did sound unite
dignified enough to me. It has fire.
quently Jared on my sensitive nerves
and particularly when 1 have seen it
staring me in the face: Don't Talk
to the Motorman.' Hereafter, it will
be the proper caper to refer to the
gentleman on the front end of the car
as the motorneer."
The serpentine dance is being done
in cage of lions.''-Ex. All! Sort of
being honized, as it were.
Wife, want Is yards more of the
same kind of material you bought me
on New Years.
Husband-But l thought you told me
you had your dress made.
Wife, did-but-
Husband-But what?
Wife-Why, I've yet to make the
sleeves! Inc
The River Jordan. from it's rapid fall
takes its name from the Hebrew word
warden. meaning descent.-Ex Tb;s
scarcely applies to the sluggish stream
at the west boundary of the city. does
Davy Nelson, the well known watch
man. has all the frugality that die
tinguishes the Scottish race. Notui+b
standing this, however, he is far from
what the Scots call near" being hos
pltabie to degree. What do Won
lhink ehe meanest act a man could be
guilty OFF, asked him the other
night The meanest?'' he ouers;ad
Yes" well, then, mon. Tn tell ' We
The meanest mon is ain, who. being
out We friend, and having twa an,
pies, eats ain, O. them, and gies tn,
ether ia hissel.' -
Patrolman Siegfus was resting him
self standing up on The Herald cor
ner the other evening, when fellow
with three sheets flying in the wind
and the fourth one wildly fappinr
came down the street. i'-ile'
Shay. officer" said he, dye know
homer" SNiO''
My friend" said Siegfus, chats
a great scheme: that's the brightest
idea you have had in twenty years.
Go long now, Go long.''
And he went. while Me- smiled
turned and silently resumed his lone
~ tramp. DIR. FELL.