Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-08
PITH AND POINT.

run ANU POtNVs
your cook what you would call
No. is' II think from the way the
dishes ere going she must be No. 49,"
lis 1T true that Emde is spending
all his time studying medicine?' Il
don't think it can be, for he expects to
MT himself for q doctor. Ocean.
-She-"You say ne is unpopular"
He-"Unpopular? He is SO unpopu.
Lar that when he has a cold nobody of.
1ers him a remedy for it.''-BrookIyn
&. Life.
Us the bishop broad man and
liberal in his views?" 80 NV. YES.
He's abroad most of the time and in
giving his views he is most prodigal.n
Harlem Life
AS to Salary.-Employer -"What
salary do you expect?" Applicant-.A
very large one, sir: but if 1 don't get
1t won't quit You see, 1 used to be
an actor. Detroit Free Press
Mrs. Noveau Riche-s.I want to
give an entertainment. What would
be appropriated" Mrs. Worldly-Wise-
"Wen, 1 can suggest nothing better
than a green tea."-Boston Gazette.
oOhhs SdiI MIS- IrOwl6r ARE
you superstitious about the number
thlrteen?" 81 am. You were nv
thirteenth girl, and, by Jove, YOU
landed me'said John.-Harper's Bazaar.
What evidence have you that the
man has been given every opportunity
to escape?" Detectives We're placed
on his track as soon as it was discoy-
cred that he had broken out of JAIL
Inter-Ocean.
-Muggins-''I left ticket for the
ball with Jaggers for you. Did you
get it?" Buggins-''No. The ticket
might have been left, and so was 1, but
Jaggers evidently. wasn't '-Philadel-
phia Record.
-Blobbs-"Did Funnicus enjoy him
self at the church fair last night?"
Slobb-"Not a bit. There were oysters
in the stew, and it was positively pain
full to see his Disappointment -Phila-
delphia Record.
ITO caught would be much simpler
than to CATCH" said Hawkins En-
glish is queer language" every
likely English is queer" said Dawson,
''but to court is not always to catch."-
Harper's Bazaar.
-Mamma-"Wea are to have COM
pany at tea, and want you to act like
man." Johnny-"And must 1 say,
like pa, What in thunder m axes the
pie-crust SO contounded tough?'"-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Fond Mother-"My boy has a very
active mind, don't you think?" Teach
er-"Assuredly. Iwish you could hear
the dear little fellow talk when he gets
caught at something, and tries to make
me believe that he didn't do it,
-''Miss Hevviswell asked me to CALL"
said Cholly, with a delighted grin.
Did she?" said the unkind friend.
''She told me yesterday she was going
to be very careful to avoid all pleasures
during Lent. "-Washington Star.
-Figg-"Joskins has got baby
down at his house, Fogg-s'ThanS
Heavenr' Figg-''Then you are fond
of babies?" Fogg-''No, and l sup
pose Joslzins will bore us to death
talking about the brat: but he'll leave
off Dragging about his dog for avhile!"
Boston Transcript.
Every man has his own vocation.
There is one direction in which all
space is open to him. He has faculties
silently inviting him thither to endless
eAeItioh ho 10 i-Ao d sup LII d ii"ei'
he runs against instructions on every
side, but one, on that side all obstruc-
ton is taken away, and he sweeps Sc
renely over deepening channel into
an infinite sea.-Emerson.
"A Versatile Artist.-They were
speaking of an artist who made spe-
cialty of animals and was emlnently
successful at it in a financial way.
''Do you like this work?" asked the
young woman. Eyes. but should like
to see him try other subjects OCCASION
ally" ''Do you think he can draw
anything else?" The commercial in
stinct mastered the artistic in the man
on the instant. Certainly" he re-
sponded. HE can draw a check that
is simply superb. Free Press.