Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1894-04-12

VI NothS sc uI6dul IL ueSIeCl Ol sew Sfdl
minor issues of a business nature in
which several thousands of dollars
were involved. l opened up a CORE
spondence which incapacitated our
postman for active service for week
Gentlemen rose all over the country
who offered to supply me with an
cestors at SO much a head. One gen
erouS soul offered to get me up a tree
for the modest sum of 500. | spurned
his tempting off, 1t was | who had
undertaken TO get Elizabeth up that
tree, and it was l alone who would
do it.
Well. in Il months time l had
bagged all the game l thought neces-
sary in the way Of great, greater,
greatest grandparents, uncles. aunts,
cousins, etc.-and really a most re-
spectacle showing they made, the an
cestors of my wife. Elizabeth. God
fearing, fennel-eating, church going.
uninteresting. law-abiding, representa-
tive New EnglanderS, all of them. If
butchers and bakers, spinners and
tanners prepOnderated in the list,
what of that? Was not that the key
note of the Mayfiower emigration, to
bake and butcher spin and tan, in a
colony of their own, unObStructed by
the snObbery of England?
2. Shaw had a son, a butcher To
him [ gave an honorable perch on the
topmost bough of my Elizabeth'S tree.
His son, a baker, took a lower twig,
and, in due course of events, his
daughter was delivered of seven sons,
all of whom walked in straight
line-one was a tailor, and went into
the clothes ine-of virtue; all save
one, who took to politics as naturally
as he did to his neighbors' wives 1t
is chronicled of him, that he did
swear great oaths, drink strong pota-
tons of punch, play at the tavern for
high stakes, and dill so thoroughly
and nightly debauch himself into the
likings Of the people, that with one
acclaim they made him governor of
the state Of Connecticut
In short, this rolstering rank -four
ished as only the wicked can I turned
from his monstrosities with a shudder.
This one blot on the escutcheon of my
loved one should be forever hidden;
never should she know that in her
Presbyterian veins coursed blood so
riotous. [ suppressed the great-great-
grandfather with Comstockian zeal
shut him up between the leaves of
the book that tcld the story of his
shame.
Well, by this, March had blown
itself in upon us, and Elizabeth and
[ had spent many a cheerful evening
in my study before the log fire, get
ting her tree in proper trim. 1t was
to be submitted on the Saturday of
that week to a committee of Colonial
Danes, consisting of Mrs. Belfry Bun
combe, Mrs. Makehay Higginson, Mrs.
Gaunt de TOmpkins, nee Chappy,
Mrs, J. Squirts, Mrs. Will Grumble of
Grumble street. Mrs. Lindsay Wool
sey, Mrs. Isadosia Chippendale Hulk
ter. What with the eminent reSpecta-
bility Of EliZabeth's ancestors, together
with my timely suppression of that
unSavOry skeleton, the governor, Eliza
beth was bound to be a Colonial
Dame-wOuld be received with open
arms by the danes in conference Of
that we were sure, so sure that in the
pride of a virtuous pedigree and it's
certain reward we asked Mr.. and Mrs.
Makehay Higginson to dine with us
on that very Saturday evening Against
the congratulatory order of the dinner
[ ordered my best brand of wine to
be put on ice.
A frigidly formal note in large
English hand on English crested Pc
per, bearing the name of a London
stationer everything that Mrs. Bun
combe buys comes from England-no
one would know she was an Ameri
can if it didn't begged to inform my
poor love that the ladies on the COM
mittee of the Society of Colonial
Danes had carefully gone over the
genealogy submitted to them, but,
inasmuch as one of the executors Of
Mrs. we'll, never mind who she is
now. She was a Shaw-had held office
in the colony, it was with regret that
Mrs. Buncombe, as regent of the So
ciety Of Colonial Danes, found Mrs.
ineligible as a member of that So
ciety.
I burst forth in an exclamation
which 1 explained to Elizabeth was
the way dame is pronounced in
French. 1t had the effect of stopping
my sweet ones tears, which that cruel
note had caused to flow. 1 had for
gotten to say that the note was de-
livered by Mrs. Buncombes Buttons,
while Elizabeth and I were getting
ourselves up to receive our guests,
who now were ringing our door-bell,
just as [ had told Elizabeth for the
twentieth time that she was sweeter
to me than all Colonial Danes in
bunch.
The Higginsons were our salvation
that night The dinner was capital.
Elizabeth braced UP visibly, and, when
the champagne had given us both
courage, we told the story of Eliza
beth's tree.
Mrs. Makehay Higginson is woman
of resources. She rose to the occasion.
eff you haven't an ancestor who
held office or served in the colony,
make up one. Go back far enough
and nobody will ever find you out"
l went back four generations and
rooted out an old taX-gatherer. He
was a bachelor, but never mind-I got
in on him all the same. The ethics
of the society became clear to me as