The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1894-02-08

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VISITED BY THE DOCTOR.
boil, built on the mansard roof and
dormer window style. On the contrary,
it was one-story affair, covering .
small extent Of territory-just such q i
boil as 6-year-old boy likes to have
on hand and rub against the fence
when another boy is proudly showing
of q stubbed toe or q sore finger.
Mr.. Bowser, however, had the idea.
that it was as large as a dishpan and
as painful as broken leg, and Mrs.
Bowser thought it wiser not to unde.
ceive him.
That evening he had to have toast
and jelly and wine and q poached egg,t|
and when Mes. BOwser got his socks
off and rubbed his feet with alcohol he
feelingly remarked that if the calamity
had to come it was better that he i
should be the victim, as he could stand
the pain so much better than she could.
Before going to. bed Mrs Bowser had
used at his suggestion camphor, arnica,
Whisky, pay rum, hot water, ,chloroform
linimenc, and two or three patent pain
killers. After getting to bed he sug-
gested brandy, witchhazel, and flax
seed poultice, and he turned over to go
sleep with the remark:
"Some husbands suffering what do
wouldn't care how much trouble they
made, but don't want anyone to put
themselves out for mel"
Next day Mr.. Bowser had a stiff
neck, as might be expected. AS con-
sequence Mrs. Bowser had to help dress
him and put on his socks and shoes.
AS further consequence he insisted on
lying on the lounge and meaning and
groaning lGrtIe ahare q the tins.
Mrs B0wser dSsufed HIM msoSe1
again that she knew all about boils and
how. to. bring them to a head, bnt he
could not rest easy until q doctor had
been called in. The doctor profession
ally assured him:
1. That it was boil.
2. That it was a small boil.
8. That the faxseed would bring IL
to head.
4. That it would burst in due time.
S. That one-story boil on the neck
was never known to break loose and
tear the human system up by the
roots. .,as
Mr.. Bowser felt in better spirits after
that-at least for ten minutes. Then
he suddenly exclaimed:
"Great lands, but suppose we have a
confagration in this town while am
in this helpless and suffering condi-
toni" ~
Mrs. Bowser reassured him on this
and several other points aud watched
that faxseed poultice with all the
solititude he could desire. He looked
over the morning paper and failed to
find an item headed: Terribly Calami- |
ty! An Eminent Citizen Confined to
His House with Boil!" He was 60
ing to declare that he would stop his
paper and add that the so-called enter |
prise of reporters was all sham and a |
delusion, when Mr.. Bowser checked |
him with:
"You see, dear, they were probably |
afraid of its influence on the stock |
market and it was very wise in them
not to say anything to unsettle bust |
ness"
For five days Mr.. Bowser sighed and
moaned and groaned and talked of
boils, and for five days Mrs. Bowser ex-
tended wifely solace and sympathy.
On three different occasions, when !
cheeky peddlers rang the front door
bell, she returned to Mr.. Bowser to
say that she thought it best not to ad-
NIT any reporters until he was strong
er. Several Of the neighbors called,
but she posted them in the hall, and |
they didn't hurt Mr.. Bowser's feelings
by declaring that they had rather
have five boils than one soft corn. The
morning of the sixth day Mr.. Bowser
was out of bed before her. She asked
after the boil, and he turned on her
with:
aBoil! boil Mrs. Bowser, now that
the crisis has passed, l will say to you
that the carbuncle which threatened
my life burst during the night and the
danger no longer exists. Knowing
what a nervous, helpless creature you
are didn't say much about it. In
fact, led you to believe that nothing
whatever allied me except touch of
rheumatism, and thereby avoided any
commotion around the house. It was
a merciful Providence that sent the aw.
full suffering to me instead Of you.
Mrs. Bowser, or I should now be q
widower! We will now go down to
breakfast.
And as he left the house for the
Office he halted q moment on the step
to say:
sJnst think Of it! You would have
been dead and buried by this time,
while not trace of my awful suffer
ings and narrow escape can be seen!"-l
NJ. Quad in Chicago Times.
A Tactful Empress.
The Empress of Japan-being that
sweetest Of all sweet creatures, . wom-
anlv Woman-has upon many occa-