Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-09-10
WAS .short" on Trousers.

speaking, in the Stock Exchange on
Friday afternoon, and before it was
over ten brokers had paid fines of s.
each for frivilous conduct and one had
narrowly escaped a brief engagement
in the living picture line.
The trousers, the nattiest kind of
"white ducks" were worn by Broker
i. n. Buckley, of Buckley, Beach &
Wood. They came in atan hour when
the gold fever no longer ran high
enough to be exciting, when nerves had
relaxed and eyes had lost the fire of the
money battle.
Had business been brisk and the cla-
NOR high, Mr.. Buckley might have
worn yellow trousers across the floor
with impunity, for then they would
have attracted no attention. He came
at an evil hour.
The white ducks, which ordinarily
would have moved noiselessly across
the floor, positively clanked and clat-
tered by contrast as he walked-all was
so very qniet. Indeed, as broker
said afterward, no trousers have attain
ed such notoriety at bound since Old
Map Arson, in the days when baseball
was disease, went home from third
base in barrel.
That was one dull day on the dia-
mond. Smoke rose from the base lines.
The audience slept. There was no ac-
ton in the piece at all. Arson hadn't
made hit in months, and every one
felt that he never would. Then the old
man cracked the leather against the
left field fence, conquered his surprise
and ran. The ball shrieked like a fifty
pound shell, and, when the atlrighted
crowd saw what had happened, the old
man had cantered to third and with a
mighty slide that ripped his trousers
most painfully ploughed into foul ter
ritory, where the hostiles sat upon MIN
in large numbers and the umpire de-
clared him out. Then some one went
after barrel, and the old man went to
his quarters.
In like manner, when the piece was
dull, Mr.. Bickley's trousers came into
it, and the mischief that Satan finds for
idle hands to do awoke.
Mr.. Buckley is faultlessly atlired, as
rule. Indeed, tits believed that dress
is matter of no little pride with him.
But yesterday it seemed that the white
trousers he wore had shrunk in the
laundry Had they been turned up as
far as fashion dictates they must have
been of the "hieh water order. So it
happened that before Mr.. Buckley had
fairly got upon the floor some one loud
lv referred to his cleaning neither gar
ments as "pants.n That word ran
through the building like call to arms,
and in an instant a flying wedge of
brokers bore down upon those flashing
trousers with the yell:
eli Buckley +! Where did you get
those pants?o and in the "did' there
was world of mock surprise and ir-
dignation which gave Mr. Buckley his
cue. He wheeled his trousers like o
, flash and headed them for the New
: Street entrance at double quick. Too
r latel In another moment he was a
captive and his legs had been plastered
over with hundred little envelopes.
Then the brokers formed ring about
Mr. Buckley could not go out in his
"mucilage" trousers, so some one sent
out for a new pair They were forth
coming-a pair of white "hand me-
downs" bought for dollar near by.
and while the broker held them in his
hands some proposed that the crowd
assist him in getting into them then
and there. This happy idea became
popular in an instant, and a score OF
volunteers began to attempt to put it
into execution.
Mr.. Buckley objected. In vain he
was told that it would be quite the
thing; that there was nothing that
would set fellow up so as to have
J. himself thrust into his new white
trousers by committee of his peers,
: who delighted in doing him honor. He
still objected, urging that the new ones
had really nothing to do with the case,
saying that the committees quarrel
was entirely with the mucilage gar
ments.
The committee decided that when a
mans modesty stood in his own way
to glory it was the duty of friends TO
!, use force. And they tried force. A
!. lively scrimmage was imminent, and
thSAC heS eiAS Se'uy LuOiC uOlSc tudu MI.
Bickley's "pants" had Occasional upon
their entrance, when Chairman Mitch
ell interfered. While the neighbor-
hood were attempting to persuade the
chairman that s. a ticket was too high
for q mere trouser rush, MIR. Buckley
escaped, trousers and all.
During this dull period another lot
of men were discussing politics. Final
" some of them became quite excited,
and one man asserted in the most posi-
tive terms that this State would surely
so republican at the coming election in
November.
There was hot argument over this
prediction, and after they had worked
themselves up to fever heat, c. Bouvie1
astonished even the staunchest demo
Gratis in the party by offering to bel
81, 600 to $500 that the next Governor
would be democrat. w. NJ. Kitchen
as soon as he recovered from his aston
ishment at the size of the odds, took