Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-11-01
THE JOKER's BUDGET.
JEsTs AND YARNS ~ FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
Not the Only ons--A Thoroushr
soIna ciri--A Record ersaksr--
a Tremendous Cut. Eto., Etc.
NOT THE ONLY ONE.

A Tremendous cut--Eto.. Etc.
NOT THE ONLY ONE.
Teacher-Who was it that sup
ported the world on his shoulders?
Bright Pupil-It was Atlas, ma am.
Teacher-And who supported At
las2
Bright Pupil-The book don't say,
but guess his wife supported him.
Truth.
THOR0UGHGOING GIRL.
Don't you think you could love
me little bit?" he persisted.
NO." she replied; II never do
things by halves. ~ New York Press.
A RECORD BREAKER.
Madge-What's your Russian
fiance's name?
Mabel-(after pause)-When can
you give me an afternoon off?
Madge-Thursday.
Mabel--All right. Come around
and I'll tell you.
A TREMENDOUS CUT.
Customer-Do you fit these gloves?
Clerk-No; they are only 80 cents.
Customer-And they were expen-
sive gloves?
Clerk-Yes, they were selling at 81
only yesterday. -[Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
A GREAT FINANCIER.
The somewhat impecunious young
man had married the daughter of the
rich legislator so much against the
fathers will that he had left them to
shift for themselves.
''Your wife's father" remarked a
friend one day to the young man, sis
a great old financier."
. Yes, but he is no statesman"
us that SOP"
'tOf course. For when / married
his daughter he demonetized her, and
we've had hard times ever Since"
-[Detroit Free Press.
FINAL.
Tom-You had not ought to con-
slider your case as hopeless just be-
cause she said no."
Jack-To be perfectly exact, what
she said was rats ~
WOULD HELP.
Taddells-Do you think the silver
question will ever be settled?
Fosdick-I don't know, but it
would help little if you would pay
me that dollar you borrowed a year
ago. Detroit Free Press.
HE DID LATER.
Shopleigh, said Cholly, as he
entered the tailor's, II want you to
iron these clothes extra well. | am
going to propose toa girl this even
ing"
:. Don't you think" replied the,
tailor, "that you'd better press your
suit yourself?"
A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING.
He-Miss Oldkatte, you are pref
ty"
She-Oh, Mr.. Giddyboy
He-You are pretty
She-How can you, you horrid mane
He Tin on)-Confound it,
you are pretty nearly old enough not
to act like this Truth.
MEANT FOR A COMPLIMENT.
He-What's the difference between
you and duck?
She (shyly)-Is there any?
He-Yes: you're dressed to kill
and the duck is killed to dress -
Truth.
NOT UTTERLY DEPRAvED.
as it true, my son." said the old
man to him reproachfully, THAT you
put fly paper on the seat of the
teachers chair and laughed when he
sat down on it?''
II cannot tell lio, father; that's
the fact. But l felt sorry for it after
ward"
you felt that it was disrespectful
to the teacher?"
mo, sir; felt that it was cruel
to the flies. - Judge.
KNEW HIM.
Jawkins-Let's ride on this car.
Jumkins No, I'd rather walk.
Jawkins (sarcastically)-You want
to save the nickel, / suppose?
Jumkins (also sarcastically)-No,
want to save the dime.
NEITHER AMOUNTS TO MUCH.
THAT speech from the throne is an
absurd thing" said Dawkins,
who bad been reading the Queens
speech.
Eyes; but it's like a great many
speeches in that respect. Our crown
speeches here amt any better"
Grown speeches?"
Eyes; speeches through the crown
Of the statesman's hat. - Harper's
Bazaar.
WHY HIS PREFERENCE.
(Which song would you rather
hear Miss Marble sing?"
Mariner Bold"
But she doesn't sing that at ALL"
II know. That's why prefer it"
Il Judge.