Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-09-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY

lind fault. milwaukee journal.
Take care of the pennies, and the
dollars will be blown in by your heirs.
Puck.
Narrow minds go beyond the deed
and search for the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Courier.
Who ever made dollar by envyinS
anybody better off than himself p
Troy Press.
1t never cools man off when the
street sprinkler throws water on him.
-Atchison Globe.
One thing woman never can learn
that liquids will leak out of paste
board lunch box. Puck.
Take out of some people all the af-
fectation aud they will have nothing
left to live for.-Galveston News.
Oil for troubled waters is nothing
compared with water for allaying the
rampant tendencies of dust. Puck.
He (passionately)-"You are my
life." She (practically)-"Have you
got it insured ?".-Detroit Free Press.
with all her faults, 1 lose her still"
They heard him sadly say
"The trouble is she never will
Consent to keep that way
Washington Star.
Don't fool with wasp because you
think he looks weak and tired; you
will find out he's all right in the end.
Lowell Courier.
"That's what 1 call good deal of
take off," lamented the carriage
horse, turning to look at its docked
tail. Chicago Tribune.
"Another dey gone" said the Sui
tan as he saw the head fall off. ''But
it doesn't matter SO long as it isn't
ours. Princeton Tiger.
Judge-'"Then you gave us wrong
age?" Elderly Female-''Not wrong
exactly-at least it was all right some
years ago. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
If you're waking call me early
Ring the breakfast bell at three.
Nothing matters SO i miss our
Neighbours singing "Sweet Marie.
Chicago InterO cean.
Head of the Firm" "Humph Book
er off again to-day? What's his ex-
cusc this time? A lame one, I'll bet?"
Clerkmen-"Yes, sir; broke his leg,
sir. Buffalo Courier
Teacher "The race is not always to
the swift. Do you understand the in
ner meaning of that?" Bright boy
Sometimes the head feller's tire gets
puncturcd. Good News.
If you are out of work II clean face,
blacked shoes, and nose without Il
blossom will be better introduction
than diamond stud or gold watch
chain. Chicago InterO Ocean.
''You are nothing but big bluff"
remarked the river to the bank. SIS
that SOP" retorted the bank. ''If ]
take notion to come down ON you,
your name will be mud. Indiana
polls Journal.
Kittie-'I heard to-day you mar
ried your husband TO reform him.
didn't know he had any bad habits"
Sarah -"He had one--he was bache-
lor. Tit Bits.
"Mrs Blimber is very nervous about
there being thirteen at the table to-
night" "Does she think something
unpleasant will happon?" eyes; she
has only dozen knives and forks. -
Chicago nter-Ocean.
Bob" "Hcllol I'm awfully glad to
see yon?" Di"k--"I guess there must
be some mistake | don't owe you
anything and | am not in condition
to place you in a position to owe me
anything. - Boston Transcript.
Tonix-"My friend Soarer's busi-
ness frequently puts his life IN danger,
but I've never yet known him to de-
sert his post" Toddies "Whc.s his
business?" Tonix ''He's an a~ro-
naut. South Boston News.
Figg-.'1've got a good story want
to tell you" ~Fosg- "iIa! hal ha!"
Figg What in time are you laugh
ing at?' Fog "YeJr story. You
say it is goot one; SO OF course L
must have heard it. - Boston Tran
script
Mrs Newitt-'I discovered this
morning that We need doornlst for
the halfway very pr,lly." Mr.. hewitt
lis there auy particular necessity
for liz Mrs, Ncwitt-"Why, GER
tainly! I'Yo got to have some place to
hide the hey when So ont, haven't