The Washington times., 1894-04-22
ADVICE ABOUT MARRIAGE
DR.. Van De Waters Talk to the CO.
lumbia College Boys.
CANCERS OF PRETTY FACES
Eov the Divorce and Probate Courts Are
Furnished with Business-Marriages for
Love Are Said to Be Successful-More Un-
happy Rich Homes than Poor Ones.

Tho subject Of DIR. Van De Waters Tuesday
morning chapel talk to the Columbia College
boys was Marriage" Among other things
DIR. Van De Water said:
'The great trouble about marriage is that
it is talked about too much and thought ABOUT
too little. Many men give more attention to
the selection of a horse than they do to the
selection of wife. Some women are so
thoughtless that they marry speedily to regret
leisurely Failing in love- is very express
sive phrase; it so truthfuly describes the affec-
tion that too often terminates in matrimony.
1t would be so much better were men and
women to walk in love, or run, If you please,
but with eyes open. rather than blindly to
stumble along and fall in love. There must
be some special providence guiding men in
this matter, or there would be moro serious
blunders than there are.
''Ninc out of ten men cannot trace the
affection that exists between them and their
wives an affection, / am persuaded, that has
ripened and strengthened with the process OF
the suns. to any earnest thought or deep
consideration. They merely stumbled into
the consciousness that they loved a woman,
and. without much thought OF consequence,
they went and told her so.
Harriet Beecher Stowe says that 'consan-
guinity' is the chief cause of love; that, thrown
continually in contact with any one not abso-
lutely uncongenial. you will fall in love with
her. Whether SO or not, we men are quite
willing 10 admit that we do not give thought
enough to this most important subject; that,
considering its sure responsibility and possi-
bic consequences, we are grossly careless In
the selection Of wife.
young fellows captured by pretty face,
a giddy whirl at the dance, or a possible
inheritance. will marry most unsuitable girl,
whose tastes. and habits, and attainments are
utterly uncongenial. and find when too late
that little more thought in the choice of a
wife would have been so much better for both.
Or old fellows who live alone till they are fifty
or sixty, accommodating fortune or gaining
reputation. will, without much thought,
marry some adventurous, scheming widow,
twenty years younger than themselves. or
girl scarcely out of her teens. TO discover
shortly thaswith a half century of experience
they have done what foolish boy of twelve
might know better than to do.
''These and similar instances of thought
less marriages furnish the divorce and pro-
bate courts with most OF ther business. New
ertheless. my experience iustiiles me in say
ing that the vast ma jority OF married people
are more III love than when they married. are
contented and happy, and would not change
their lot or their partners for any other. One
divorce in a village makes more talk than all
the marriages OF a year. Those who are
happy make no tumult. For every one cou-
pie unhappily married there are 100 living in
peace and prosperity rs husband and wife.
These make no noise. furnish no food for
comment; they make true homes; they are
real fathers and mothers; they give us right
oous men and holy women: they rear the
hest OF ;he rising generation. They are ana
bic. discreet, gJod-humored. forgiying, pa
.l,.. Tt.,tl
proud ol each other. more in love with each
othur than the day they were married.
''&arriage makes the best homes, gives to
the worid the best men, preserves nations, fills
citie- AMI. churches and supplies heaven with
lis inmates. man may be cheerful and con-
trnt d i'll ceibacy, but hardly as happy as he
would be- wore he to be married Aside from
the ddIv nan owes to himself, his neighbor.
his COUNTRY. 10 many celibacy is an unnatural
s.ala in which the finest feelings OF human ma
turs are never called into action and finds no
occasion for exercise or display.
My advice is--be III no haste to marry
Prepare well for life before entering its most
responsible estate. Do not become engaged
while pursuing college studies. Think of
marriage as the crown of all your present
preparation. Not til young man has finished
his studies at college and is assured of consid-
cradle success in his business or profession
ought he to ask any woman to become his
wife
Marry, when you do for love. Let every
thing else come after this. Be sure you love:
not think, but know you do While you
marry only for love, see what thou lowest is
lovely Never mind what others think; be-
certain for yourself that the woman who is to
be your wife is so admirable and lovely to
you that her face remains the same no mat
ter what changes come. If you would marry
suitably, marry your equal. Your inferior
will remain such; your superior will humiliate
you, even if she is good enough not to tyran-
nize over you. Marry the daughter of a good
mother and you can scarcely DO wrong. See
that the spirits can blend. Take time to make
a bargain to last till death do part
"Be not afraid TO marry a poor girl Be
brave enough to marry the girl you love, re-
gardless OF her patrimony. 1 know more IN
happy rich people than poor ones. You show
me one unhappy couple on account of
straitened circumstances; I'll show you ten
couples with wealth more unhappy from
other causes. Remember, when marriage be-
gins, romance ends. History, reality, then
commences. Prepare well for marriage and
what follows-paternity. Be sure you give to
your wife the purity you expect to receive
from her. Marry the woman you want to
meet i'll heaven and be intimate with forever.
"If you would have the nuptial union last.
Let virtue lie the bond that ties the union fastn