The herald., 1894-04-26
[ SMELL SMOKE.

UuOuBu HnC dllOWS MIN 10 Sl1lOko any
where else, very properly forbids him to
indulge in such dangerous practice.
However, as Mrs. Snoodle is q remark
ably sound sleeper Mr. Snoodle frequent
" manages to enjoy few stolen whiffs.
One night when in bed Mr.. Snoodle
had an irresistible desire for pipe,
which he in vain epdeavored to combat.
His wife was fast asleep so he cautious
ly stretched out his hand for his pipe,
which lay on a little table by the bed
side. Then with equal caution he filled
it, lighted up. and was putting away
with intense relish when Mrs Snoodle
turned over and gave two or three
snorts.
"I believe she's going to wake up" "
thought Mr.. Snoodle and hastily took
his pipe from his mouth and placed it
on the table
Mrs. Snoodle gave few more snorts
and woke up. Then she gave series
shifts, and Mr.. Snoodle trembled, for
the room was pregnant with tobacco
smoke.
''John, are you smoling?" asked his
wife sternly.
Certainly not, my dear. Whatever
makes you think so?'' he innocently in
quired
Because l can smell tobacco" she
replied. "Phew, how strong it is! Don't
you smell it, John?"
''Can't say do, Martha. I've got a
bit of cold. "
''Open your eyes, man, and then you
W; - cnar,pod Mra Sno0dlo
81 don't smell with my eyes, gig
gled Mr. Snoodle.
''What I mean is wake up properly
and sniff hard Now, can't you smell
it,"
"Well-er-I think there is faint
odor of tobacco" admitted the culprit.
"Think-faint odorl Why, the place
reeks with it'll tell you what it is,
John, there's somebody smoking in the
house." declared his wife.
''Doyou think Jane indulges in pipe
on the sly?" suggested Mr.. Snoodle
''Nonsensep'
"Well, my dear, the only other living
thing in the house is the cat, and 1
never heard of cats smoking"
Don't talk rubbish, John. It's seri-
Gus matter. It's my firm belief there's
Mrs. Snoodlo shiyared.
"Ah, very likely" replied Mr.. Snoo-
die, thankful for his lucky escape and
preparing to go to sleep again.
John, are you going to sleep and let
the house he ransacl1ed9" asked his wife
Indignantly.
Certainly not, my dear"
Then why don't you go down stairs
and catch the burglar?'
Mr.. Snoodle very reluctantly got out
of the warm bed into the cold air, Sleep
lily lighted candle and moved toward
the door.
AREN'T you going to take some
weapon of defense?" asked his wife.
''Do you want TO be killed. Inever saw
such manP'
Mr. Snoodle rather sullzily seized the
poker and muttered that ''if he found
burglar he'd make it smoking hot for
him. "
He had got half way down stairs and
when he suddenly saw man dart out
of the dining room and bolt down the
kitchen stairs. Mr.. Snoodle's first i'm
pulse was instant flight, for he was an
arTait coward, but he was so astounded
and pctrified with fear that he was ut
terly unable to either move or speak.
He simply stood still, holding the candle
nearly upside down, with his mouth
wide open. Then he heard the back door
bang and knew that the burglar was
gone, so thought it was about time for
nd IN, oI,o IL
So he roared out: "You villainsl I'll
murder you'll I'll scalp you as clean as
WhistleP' and rushed down stairs. He
had never before felt so heroic in his
life He bounded into the dining room
and fought fiercely with the furniture,
especially the fender, as he could bang
into that without injuring it much nm
til he was quite exhausted.
"John, John, come up stairsP'
screamed Mrs. Snoodle you'll be
killed'
"It's all right, Marthal' shouted
back Mr. Snoodle.
"Have you got the rascals safely
bound them"
"No, they've got away But I've
nearly killed 'em!'
"Thank heavenl Come up stairs and
let me dress your wounds, DEAR" said
Mrs. Snoodle solicitously.
Mr.. Snoodle, after securing the back
door, which the servant had omitted to
lock, and undoing the bundle Of plate
that the burglar had left behind in his
hurry to escape, went up stairs.
ooh, John" exclaimed Mrs. Snoodle
on beholding him, "then you're not
dead?''
"No DEAR" he said, mopping his
brow. But it was terrible fight"
''I'm sure it was. never heard such
an awful row. Did they take anything?
"Only their hook" grinned Mr..
Snoodle. II was just in time to prevent
'em carrying off the best part of our
plate 1t was all tied up ready That
Idiot of Jane forgot to lock the back
door. I'll give it to her in the morn
ing!"
''The silly grill How many burglars
were there, John?''
"Two. One great fellow over feet,
and another bigger, if anything, but
caught one a crack on the head that
must have pretty we'll smashed it. and
Tmsure I've broken the other ones Leg. I"