Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-07-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Long maS ~ "aNe-Ane oeS"'
Truth.
Nothing less than strike arouses a
: bass drum to action. Free
Press.
Let il be understood that there are
popular facts as well as popular fal.
lacies.-Truth.
'I'm feeling dead rocky" as the
petritied fish remarked to itself.--Har-
ward Lampoon.
Love is frequently satisfied with
quantity; but friendship demands
quality.-Puck.
A girls conversation must appear
iowery when she talks through her
hat "-Statesman.
A man may itch for Office, but it is
The voters right to do the scratching.
Boston Courier.
'I'm in pretty pickle" as the fly
said when he fell into Il jar Of red cab
bage Texas Siftings.
The only bright spot left by somt
men is the secured place on the chair.
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Si..c. the introduction of electricity
;he street car horse has been gradually y
losing his pull. Courier.
There is something wrong with the
mans head who falls down on the same
banana skin twice. Ram Horn.
They can disinfect and quarantine,
And work rs hard rs beaver
| To make the country sweet and clean.
d.. 4, fA,n
-Kansas City Journal.
In the summer perhaps we can turn
the big postage stamps wrong side up
and use them for fly paper.-Washing-
! ION Star.
When crate of crockery fall,
[ through an elevator shaft it's a little
| the worse for tho ware.-Binghamto
| Leader.
I They make the man in charge of /.
team fog signal do considerable whis-
, ling for his pay before he gets it
, Buffalo Courier.
.It's wise monarch" said the NAL
vho abdicated precarious throne,
"who knows enough to come in out OF
the reign. Washington Star.
'It's pretty hard on man of my
| .ce to have to depend on his looks, y
said the astronomer us he put his eye
to the telescope. Washington Star.
"Why did they bury pool
iilder at night?" Archie He had nc
decent clothes but Il dress suit. The
Clothiers' and Haberdashers' Weekly.
She-s'.So you're fully determined to
marry her. are you?' He-"Abso-
.utely." She-"H'm Don't you ever
feel sorry for her?"-Detroit Tribune.
Clara-''Did you know that Mrs.
bangle had gone on n trip to Ber-
, nuda?" Maude-'.No. 1 must call
Oh her before she gets back. Vogue.
| Whenever the piano ceased
There was great furore.
And those who understand it least
| We're loudest to encore.
| KANSAS City journal.
Mrs. Goodwin--''Y You shouldn't eat
SO many peanuts, Johnny; you'll be
having dyspepsia. Johnny-''Do the
policemen have dyspepsia, mamma?''
life.
Shea poor painter! Why, ht
says that he is welded to his art" lie
-"Perhaps that is the reason, then,
that he dares treat her SO badly
Truth.
A woman is keeping in book q lis,
of things she ought to purchase, but
cannot afford to wear She calls the
book her ought-to-buy ography.-Nc
York Clipper.
About the most discouraging thing
that comes to n man in this life is the
desire to whip an enemy, coupled with
the belief that he can't do it.-Cleve'
land Plain Dealer.
Extract From Love Letter: Should
you fail to reciprocate my affection,
then please return this letter. in order
that may use it on another occasion. ,
Fliegende Blaetter.
Customer-"What's tic price or
Jour tallow candles?' Dealor-'.Fivt
cents apiece; fifty cents a dozen. y
Customer-"Wcn, let me have {
twelfth of Dozen"
II don't know which is worst,
nnguidly remarked tine European
monarch Us he read of another attemp,
On his life, "my peoples disloyalty o,
their craftsmanship. - Washington
Itar.
| Miss Eldcr-'.I think it was rec
mean in you to tell Mr.. Spatts L was
twenty-eiGht years old" Miss Fosdici
-"Why, you surely didn't want IN,
o tell him how old you really wcrc:'
Vogue.
Little Beth Tin the couniry)-
"Grandpapa, you must have to keep n.
| - g lzn.