The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-06-14
THE WRONG BRAND.
From the San Francisco Chronicle.

While the rain was doing its level
best the other afternoon a moist little
old man with two umbrellas and q
''gum" coat dashed into the Mills build
ing. Water dripped from the elevator
all the way up to the tenth floor, and
when the little man splashed into the
weather-works at the end of the hall
the curl came out of B. S. Pague's mus
tache.
''Where's the fellow that did this?''
demanded the little man, glazing saw
agely around the room.
Ibid what?" inquired Mr.. Pague, in
his best meteorological tone of voice.
''PuIled the plug out of the sky"
''You mean the shower. Oh, that's a
little dash of precipitation we throw in
once in awhile to equalize the climate.
1t makes the farmers jubilant, you
know"
''Oh, does it?" said the little man,
smiling sarcastically. perhaps you
don't stand in with those people who
sell fifty-cent umbrellas in the hall
ways"
s'Sir! How dare your'
''Keep your hair on, professor" broke
in the visitor, as he stepped ont of the
puddle that dribbled from the tail Of
his gum" coat.
you're running this Job, are you
not?''
"Wel, yes" Mr.. Pague confessed
with becoming modesty. ''rm at the
head of the bureau. Would you like
to look at some of our weather samples
for the fall and"
"You predicted fair weather for to-
day, didn't you?" persisted the little
man, who was beginning to breathe
hard.
The head of the bureau looked out at
the unbroken streaks of wet driving
obliquely across the window and
glanced musingly at large tissue
paper chart with red spots on it. Then
he made some figures on the margin
with blue pencil and started in to ex-
plain:
''Of course the low pressure in the
northwest, combined with a rising
barometer, naturally has tendency to
Chang the northwestr' howl ed the
little man. ISIS this San Francisco or
Siberia?"
The head of the bureau reluctantly
admitted that to the best of his knowl-
edge and belief this was San Fran
cisco.
''And are you our regular licensed
predicter?"s
81 am"
"Well, don't you know that we have
ball game here every Sunday and
that storm like this is in direct oppo-
sition to the wishes of the people?"
Storm? Why, up in Oregon, where
] came from, they"
''Oregon be bowed! This is San
Francisco. where we know what wealth
er is. Doyou mean to say that you came
here from Oregon and went to monkey
ing with the valves without asking us
what we wanted?"
1T looks that way" replied Mr..
Pague, beginning to feel uneasy"
How long have you been here7"
"About two weeks"
''Are YOU the one who uncorked the
cyclone that blew the shingles off the
ships and things last week?" demanded
the little man, grasping his umbrella
firmly by the handle.
Pague glanced around for the police
call. but it was in the other room.
"Who are your he asked, in order to
gain time.
I'm a taxpayer in the city and
county of San Francisco-that's what l
am the little man yelled as he slap
ped himself on the chest, land I'll write
a piece to the papers about the incom-
potency IN the weather department..
Great Scott, Who ever saw the like?
Its an outrage, sir, I'll report You to
the-the-er-Iu report you anyhow.
What condition do you expect the
ground to be IN for the football match
next Thursday, if you keep on with
your Internal deluge, Fair weather,
indeed. and six inches of mud and water
everywhere I'll be teetolly dld hinged
II | don't
1T is very difficult matter, find
said Mr.. Pague, Ito satisfy every body
IN this business Some want drought
and some want rain. while others again
send in orders for wind There was
nothing in this little shower to excite
anyone, but perhaps am too well &C
customed to moisture after living so
long in a country where the ducks roost
on the trees nine months IN the year
..Hewever. have ordered out a line
OF nice. fair weather. with diamond
clouds and thread of sunshine IN il,
for tomorrow. After arranging clear
weather for to-day. l changed my mind
last night and decided TO wiring ont
couple of damp clouds. The storm was
originally moving eastward and had il
continued that course to-day would
have been clear. But il fell IN with
ecld wave coming this way and we
couldn't separate them Prom Wednes-
day night until two clock this after
noon the rainfall has amounted 10 three
and four hundredths inches, bus Is al
over DOW