Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-09-06
kprink,as Of spice.

TRULY" said Witticus, when he
saw tail soup and tongue on the
free-lunch counter, extremes meat"
Life. .-r -.
The boy who eats all the melons
he sees, whether they are green or
old, is what we call painstaking
urchin. Galveston News.
as CHINCHER making any money
out OF politics." mot cent. Says
he is perfectly satisfied with what he
makes in Buffalo Courier.
He heard them kissing on the sly
And peeked In through the door.
And then he cried In accents high.
@Say. sister. what's the scorer"
detroit Free Press
The fellow who kicks an sQuirms
tew git front seat at circus is the
one who takes back seat In a pray
er.meeting. =" Ol' Nutmeg's" Say
ings.
"OH, Mr.. Longhead, 1 just saw
Charley Greene clipping with your
wife" "Good! Now Pm even with
him. He sold me horse last week."
Life.
AFTER man passes fifty he should
watch himself with great care.
Nearly every man does something
rUinOus after he is fifty.-Atchison
Globe.
"HAvE you ever been around the
wOrld?" mo, but my arm has"
what do you mean" SWELL, you
are all the world to me. Harlem
Life.
JUDGS-"How old are you. miss?"
Elderly female-I AMI am"
Judge-SBetter hurry up; every mo-
ment makes it worse. '-Fliegende
BlaetteT
HE-Do you usually take stick
with you when you go climbing on
the mountains? She--Ob, yes; would
you like togo along to-day. -Yonkers
Statesman
BACoN-~Does Penman make any
thing out OF his writi1gs?" Egbert-
Il don't know l never could make
anything out of them. "-YOnke-
Statesman.
FATHER Visiting at colIege)-"My
son, these are better cigars thanI
can afford" Son-"ThaJs all right,
father; take all you want; this is on
NE. Yale Recora.
TOMMY-"SaJ, paw" Mr. Figg-
"Now, what do you wanta" Tommy
what is the difference between
the sea horse and the navy plue?"-
Indianapolis Journal.
PAT-"Be jabers, yez shet nayther
wan av thim." Mike-"How tn divil
could /, whin thr report av tn gun
frightened both av thin away!"-
Frank Leslie's Weekly.
"DID the new cook bring satisfac-
tory recommendations" Mrs. De-
Style-"N-no-er-yes, she is, just what
i want; she is too large to wear my
dress.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
ANGELINA Ito her new betrothed)
-"Oh, Edwin, there's such a good
looking girl just behind you! Do
lookw Edwin-"Ah, I've no eyes for
good looks now, darling."- York
Ledger.
SHE-Bixby appears to be quite
bright young man. / hear he acquired
enough money by writing 10 pay for
his education at college. He-Yes;
WHITING home to his parents. ---Arkan-
saw Traveller.
He would have confessed, but she
waved him in silence. "No," she said,
IL prefer to be kept in the dark"
After a moments thought he arose
aad turned the gas yet lower.-De-
aroit Tribune
GwENDoLINE-I'm at a loss to
account for the fact that Mr.. Gran
dali has more enemies than any man
I know Seward-I think he must
20 through life acting ohe part Of a
candid friend.-Nogue.
CHApPIE-"Whati is the armor plate
they are talking so much abOut?"
Sappie-4I haven t given The subject
much study, but l presume that 1t Is
the plate they serve the armor on to
the soldiers, don't you know"
DocToR-Don't be alarmed. / was
sicker than you are. year ago, and
with the same trouble. To-day l am
we'll and hearty. Patient (anxlously)
%, Doctor, tell me who was your
physician. -Browning's illustrated.
"AND what's your reason for in
creasing the servants wages, pray?"
her friend asked. Because my hus-
band complained that my dress and
millinery bills equaled the household
expenses, and l want to show him
they do not "-Fliegende Blaetter.
MIsTREss-"What in the world Is
the matter with the twins?" Nurse
Sure. don't know; but, from the
way they've been frettin and cryin'
all day, it's my opinion that they've
mixed themselves up and can't tell
which Is which. Good News.
Dog days, says an exchange, are
SO called because they fall about the
time of the "heliacal rising of the
dog star" Sirus,pr Canicula, the lat
ter word meaning "little dog" 1t is
the heliacal hot weather they bring
that makes the dog days uncomfort-
able. -Picayune.
Il NEVER saw any signs Of such
great meanness In Hobb es." .You
don't know him. Why, he gave his
wife life insurance policy executed
In her favor as Christmas present
last year, and ever since then he has
been practicing a regimen conducive
to longevity. "-Chicago Record.