The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-06-16
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS eY FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
Caution Kept Them Away Which
Wss Werss7- Another Theory.
More In L.. . Etc. Etc.
CAUTION.

CAUTION.
Hubby-So we are to have our old
cook back again?
Wife-Yes; but you hadn't better
let her hear you call her "old. ."-[De-
troit Free Press.
KEPT THEM AWAY.
Summer Hotel Proprietor-It's sim
gular there are no more young people
here this year.
Clerk-Not at all.
Proprietor-Why isn't it?
Clerk-Didn't you advertise that
the back piazzas would be lighted by
electricity?-[Life.
WHICH WAS WORSE?
Papa had a tooth pulled yester-
day." proudly exclaimed the little
girl to her next door neighbor.
That amt nothin," came the re-
ply, and triumphant light shone
from her eyes. II heard my papa
say he had his leg pulled the day be-
fore. = Atlanta Constitution.
ANOTHER THEORY.
1--WE learn that Adams fall, ;" said
the Sunday school superintendent,
"had something to do with forbidden
fruit. Can any Of you tell me what
Adam did with that fruit?"
Did he throw the peeling on the
sidewalk" hazarded a fair haired
little boy, deeply interested.-[Chi-
cago Tribune.
MORE IN 1T.
Miss Willing (meaningly)-Do you
know they are talking of putting Il
tax on old bachelors?
Mr. Bender (more meaningly)-
They would raise more revenue If
they'd tax all the old married men
who wish they were single.-[Life.
APPROPRIATE.
Plankinton Visiting Bingo)-Gra-
cious, old man, what have you got
blood-red wallpaper in this room for?
Bingo-This, old chap, is the room
in which / shave myself.
COULDN'T HELP 1T.
George know / am not worthy of
you, but
Ethel-Don't ever say that again;
it's no use worrying over what you
can't help.
WANTED TO BE IN 1T.
Dick Hicks-Sometimes i wish /
was an elephant or giraffe.
Mrs. Hicks-Why do you wish
that?
Dick Hicks-So l could 60 to the
circus every day.
A NEW HAT, ODD STYLE.
Mrs. Simmins-You don't look like
yourself in that hat. Is it different
from your other?
Mr. S;mming-Yes; I've paid for it.
Il Chicago Inter Ocean.
WHEN WOMEN VOTE.
Jess-What is the issue in this
campaign?
Bess-Um-Stripes versus polka
dots, / think.
HOPE FOR HIM.
Giglamps-My sole ambition is to
be an orator, but, alas fear there
is no hope for me.
Ethel Knox-You shouldn't be dis
couraged. They are teaching mon
keys to talk.
SUCCESSFUL DECEPTION.
Little Boy-What did they tell you
to get you to take that nasty medi-
cine?
Little Girl--They said it was good
for my complexion.
ONE on THE DOG.
Fitz Williams-I thought that dog
would have eaten you. What caused
him to loosen his grip?
Dusty Rhodes-I took the precau
tion to empty my snuir-box into my
coat-tail pockets before l went in
New York World.
PLAIN, ORDINARY MAN.
Hubbie-How would you like to
have a new bonnet, my dear?
Witie-lou lovely thing. m Just
dying for one.
Hubbie-Tm sorry your condition
is so critical, my dear, for | can't
give you one now.-IDetroit Free
Press.
YOUTHFUL PRECoCITY.
Willie-Grandma must be dread
fully, dreadfully wicked, isn't she?
Mamma-Why, what do you mean?
OF course she isn't!
Willie-Well, she told me her own
self that the good die young. Inter
Ocean.
MEAT AND DRINK.
Westchester Willie-Wot did yer
get over dere, Tommy?
Tuckahoe Tommy-Oh, got bite
from the dog. What did you get?
Westchester Willie-I got a horn
from the bull Truth.