Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-01-18

TOO WILLING.
''Dsar me-" be whispered, 'sdo you
think If married you your father would
ever forgive usl"
"rm sure he would, dear" she assert
ed softly.
"Aud would he give us. house OF our
owng'
Il know he would, dearest"
''And would he give US enough To
live beautifully ong"
''I'm sure OF ii, Harry"
"And would he take me into the frmfs
Certainly he would"
"And let me run the business to suit
myselfa"
-"Of course he would, darling"
She Struggled to his bosom, but he put
her aside coldly.
II can never marry you" he said
hoarsely. "Your father Is too willing TO
get you off his hands. "-[Detroit Free
Press.
WELL BROKEN.
Burglar-Don't say a word, or I'll
blow your head off.
Henpec (sleepily)--Beg pardon, my
dear; didn't mean to-(snores).-
PUCK.
THEY ESCAPE.
Jobbers (unhappily mated) III wonder
if all men who get married lead lives of
endless tortured
Enpeck (bitterly)-Oh, no. Some of
them die.-[Chicago Record.
ON THE scAFFoLD.
Ii,
seems to have plenty of nerve.
Warden-Well, l should say he had.
The idea of man with his record asking
for pardon!-[Detro Tribune.
THESE SLEEVES.
Laborer (admiringly to comrade, as a
stylishly dressed woman sailed by with
shoulders apparently five feet broad)-I
say, Jimmy, there's pair of shoulders
for hod.-I Philadelphia Record.
WORKS LIKE A CHARM.
First Tramp-The police won't let
anybody beg around this club. How do
you manage to pick up so much?
Second Tramp Harvard, '82)-Oh,
when l see swell coming out ! say:
Git onto the English dude, byes2
ROUGH BUT EXPRESSIVE.
Minister. Ito prisoner BE cheerful.
my man. You may see better times
yet. Life is made up of disappointments
ana uncertainties"-
Prisoner Yes; ne nevah kin tell whah
de dwag is.-[Cleveland Plain Dealer.
EXPERT IN PROFANITY.
Judge-Do you understand the ma
ture OF an oathl
Witness with pride)--I reckon do.
I'm mule driver on canal. Il Halo.
A MORBID MIND.
Coroner-What led you to believe that
the deceased had contemplated suicide
for some time?
Witness-Nothing in particular; only
he took such gloomy view of life.
Coroner-In what wave
Witness-He was an English humorist,
sir.-[Puck.
She with emotion) do you truly care
for me Just as much as when we were
first eDgaged9
He with conviction)- lovey,
every single bit as much.
And at the time thi conversation took
place they had been engaged just four
teen hours eight minutes and twenty-five
seconds. Chicago Record.
sUPPosING.
She-Supposing you were going to
propose to girl, what would you sayf
He-Oh, something simple and direct,
like this: "Will you be my wife?'
Surprising you were the girl, what would
your answer be?
She-Yes.-[H Harlem Life.
SURE CURE.
Anxious Mother-Ques. --"My- boy is
sadly addicted to playing jackstones. He
claims that it furnishes both mental and
physical exercise. How can wean him
from it?"
.Ans.-"Buy a cord of nice oak VOID,
uncut. furnish him an ak and put him to
studying the beauties of botany and the
structure OF plants. He will soon forget
about jackstcnes. Atlanta Journal.
TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
81 thought Belle was to marry the
Kentucky colonel?'
"No; the engagement is off. She asked
him to drink her health in glass Of ice
water. - Indianapolis Journal.
BRILLIANT INTELLECT.
Teacher-Johnny, in what way did
Noah display his wisdoml
Johnny--Went in when It was rainin'.