Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
REMOVABLE.


1@ REASONABLE. ~s. !"
Should you die, are you opposed to
my remarrying?
Hello. ~ t
She-Why not? ~ N
He-Why should I be solicitous
about the welfare of fellow I'll
never know?-lLife.
PLENTY OF BILLS.
Burglar (grufiy)-Your money or
your life No
Jones (sleepily)-You'll find some
bills in the drawer there. They are
all in but the butchers. 1 might
send you that. Good night. [Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
BRAZILIAN SHOOTING.
Brazil is death on maidens now,
And it is shown by this,
That every time they shoot down
there
They always shoot amiss.
[-Detroit Free Press.
PROBABLY NOT.
Practical Father-Has that young
man who wants to marry you any
money?
Romantic Miss-Money! He gave
me cluster diamond ring studded
with pearls.
Practical Father-Yes, / know.
Has he any money left?-[New York
| Weekly.
TIRED OF RETAIL METHODS.
First ain-wrecker-Great haul
we made yesterday, wasn't it?
! Second Train-wrecker-Is should say
sol With little more luck like that
we could buy a controlling interest in
the road, and wreck the whole
blamed thing at once.-[Puck.
HAD A PROPERTY VALUE.
Mrs. Gadd-I'm glad to hear you
say that Mr.. Tillinghast didn't marry
Miss Landin for her money. She s
such thoroughly nice girl that she
deserves to be married for love, even
if she is an heiress,
Mr.. Skidds-No, Tillinghast didn't
marry her for her money, but for her
real estate.-[Truth.
NOT ALL SOUL.
"That girls all SOUL, +" so 1 heard theuI
say,
When the beautiful maiden passed
us by;
But took different view next day
When l saw her tackle hot mince
pie New York Press.
PoRKoPoLIAN PERPLExITY.
"Who is that man over there? His
face seems familiar"
That's the German Count you
married-the one who"
"No; it isn't"
you're right. It's the French
Baron you"
"Why, no! That's that horrible
American l married-plain John
Smith. Umph v'-[ Hello.
NEEDED PUTTING.
Prima Donna-Did you get the new
waist with the pulled sleeves?
Maid-No, ma am.
Prima Donna-Then I wont go on
tonight. How do you expect a
prima donna to get along without
puffs?-[ Hello.
UNDERSTOOD.
Cobbs-Does Funning's humor
amuse the public
Hobbs-Yes; his paragraphs are
always regarded as jokes on him.
AN EXPLANATION.
Maude-Why does Chollie Softly
always say II don't think so," for
/ think not?"
Hester-Because, dear, Chollie
never thinks.
THE EDITOR LOVED HIM.
Mr.. Winks-Mr. Editor, Mr.. Blinks
is dead, but as he and you were not
on very good terms, l am afraid that
you will not give the obituary notice
that he deserves, and
Editor (enthusiastically)-Oh, yes,
/ will; I'll give him the very best
send-off / can possibly write, for he
was one of natures noblemen.
Mr.. Windshield, that's good but
what makes you praise him up so
when you knew him to be your
enemy?
Editor-Because out of two hun
dred callers at my office during the
cold weather of last week he was the
only one that closed the door.
LIKE MOST OF US.
Yellowly-You're looking well this
morning, Rrownly.
Brownly-I'm feeling well, too. l
own farm in Pennsylvania and coal
has just been discovered on it.
Y.-Lucky fellow! / wish some
could be discovered in my coal cellar.
New York Press.
STYLE COSTS.
Mrs. Squills-Isn't $40 pretty
large bill for the two or three visits
you made Mr.. Bilby?
DR.. Squills-No, it's just right, for
Bilby. / told him he had the grip
which he had. He insisted it was
Ia grippe" This bill of $40 will
cure him entirely of the 'la grippe"
habit.-tChicago Tribune.