The record-union., 1894-08-04

lli ear Such pltlful pleadlngS must soIne-
/ how reach.
| This always threw the s'Bishop of Gret-
ma" into momentary frenzy. Bound
! ing from the table like nimble and
| spitetul gnome, he would seize her, shake
her, tweak her and leave her, unless l
was quick enough to prevent this vicious
action, an exhausted heap OF gurgllng
despair, out of which would brokenly
and lnoaningly come:
"4e ken, am | ken, William; but
| Laird!-God kens too!'
! Whereupon the broken life would creep
into the tiny kailyard and mutter her
bit wordies," reappearing at last grow
cling and smiling slave.
If | would demonstrate with the old
reprobate he would regard me at first
with savage etfrontery. But my stern
looks and real Indignation would at last
effect response.
'Hoot," he would hoarsely whisper
with vicious leer. when gat her for
my wife l gat nae beauty. Her triens
ken l gat nae siller. Th' niair idiot Pd
be IT ha' ma grouk (watchtul carel DER
th' auld boho.'
| must confess that my hatred of his
despicable nature and the hopelessness OF
mitigating his wife's condition of living
death, prompted on my part many i'm
pulses OF petty revenge. l had been COM
| PEELED to yield to his many direct de-
mands for drink; to his downright rob-
berries; to countless ignorant, ruffianly
insults, and to the more repulsive degra-
dation of tolerating his endless fendish-
ness TO his feeble old wife, while still
half believed his assumptions Of priesuy
power were the veriest sham.
10 test the latter L impugned his high
Office. rallied at his pretensions and con-
temptuously denied that marriages were
now being celebrated by him, that he
possessed sufficient intelligence to Off
ciaLe at civil contract marriage, or even
to prepare a certificate of so Infamous
procedure, and finally so stung his epis-
copal dignity that he excitedly proffered
/ for a single sovereign, to illustrate the
| Gretna memorial then and there, with
myself for the bridegroom and his
teetering. totterIng old guidwife, Eliza
beth Laing. as bride.
Half wild with liquor and wounded
pride he dashed from the cottage and
shortly returned with a blowsy faced
woman as witness" Then he clapped
his horn bowed spectacles crashingly
upon his nose, with one hand grasped
soiled Bible from the table, and with the
other clutched his poor old spouse from
her chair and whirled her upon her feet
before him.
"Stan' oop! STAN oop tighter till
pruve it tae ye," he shouted almost beside
himself with rage.
"Clap hams tgither Ill send We fur
der into matrimuny than th' fiddler's ass
was foaled back o. th' Beyond!"
We joined hands as the little old ogre
had ordered, and / could not but wonder
how long it had been since old Eliza
beth's had rested in one which had pulsed
to it in compassion's gentle touch. Then
he excitedly proceeded.
.'Ar' We single mon? Ye ans'er ay, ye
KEN"
/ answered ay.
''Ar' ye a single wumman? Spak oop
noo," he yelled fiercely at the pitifully
smiling old guidwife beside me. 'Ans'er
ye ay, noop
Deaf as she was she seemed always to
have an intuitive knowledge of her brutal
masters commands and she gurgled and
cackled assent.
"D'ye ken ony reason why ye shudna
TAX this wumman tae be yer Lawful
weeded wife?" he demanded of me. "Ye
gle in tae that, ye KEN" he insisted i'm
patiently and answered,
"No."
"D'ye ken," this to his wife, ''ony rea-
son why ye shudna tax this mon tae be
yer Lawful weeded mon? Spak oop, moo,
ye auld bohoi Gle in tae that"
She gurgled and cackled again.
"Ye bath gle in tae a. o. that?"
We both asSented.
'"Then,u said the old wretch sayagely
and triumphantly, ''ye've bund yerse's
mon and wife afore thae wutnusses an"
he added in an ugly undertone, as he
seated himself from the long habit at the
table to fill out our marriage certificate,
'th' dell tax bath o. yer"
The blowsy-taced woman signed the
paper, received a ''saxpance" and left
the cottage.
The bishop of Gretna' also signed the
document, and | put it carefully in my
pocket, as the helpless old creature still
stood beside me with pitiful look of in
decision in her wrinkled face.
A strange resolve instantly seized me.
1t must have been inexplicably con-
veyed to the mind of the reprobate before
me, for he instantly eyed me with a look
of anxiety, inquiry and alarm.
"Yes," said after returning his gaze
unfeelingly for a time, II think we at last
understand one another"
"Ye wud na?-" he servilely gasped.
"Well-no not exactly. As reputable
attorney l would hardly use this docu-
ment TO secure your discharge in disgrace
from Her Majesty's service as postman
and as you are an old man, very near
your grave, would not just like to have
you pass your few remaining days in
prison for the criminal offense of joining
in marriage those you knew to be al
ready wedp'
Laird! Laird!-ha' mercy" he groanad
''Oh. yes, Pll have mercy, of course l
will. Particularly, my good man, on ae-
count OF your many tender mercies to
this helpless, patient, loving old bodyn'
Here / drew her thin arm within my
own, stroked her shrveled hand kindly
and looked assuringly into her foolishly
smiling face.
''See here, you pitiless wretch" thun-
dered. ''I'll not take your commission
from you, or jail you now; but l. ii tOler
ate no further interference from you with
this poor woman. She's mine!"
The miserable being squirmed and
fumed writhed and stormed for little.
and finally set to snivelling ruefully.
l felt that my face was flaming, my eyes
blazing and that my whole being was
fiercely aroused in behalf of the dodder-
ing creature upon my arm.
No one can quite reveal the swift al
most unbounded and often lawIess, ac-
tivity of the human mind in moments of
intense excitement, but [ have since fre-
quently reflected that there is no length
TO which l would not have then gone
in my purpose to alleviate the sutferlngs
of the half demented woman at my
side as / now had her tormentor in my
power.
Whether or not he realized this, he was
completely cowed. and he soon whin
ingly begged of me what L would have
him do.
"Get out of this house first" L inexor-
ably demanded. ''Go to my room at the
Maxwell Arms. Occupy it, if you like,
and l will pay the reckoning, but shall
remain here with Elizabeth. Your filthy
old records will be safe with me. So will
Elizabeth, for this poor old body, whom
you have outraged ali your miserable
life, shall now know what peace and ten
derness are-right here in Gretna for
little, and then, perhaps, with me in