davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
TRADING A TRADE.
They Compromised on Eight Yards and a
 Sneezing Outfit.

They Compromised on Eight Yards and a
 Sneezing Outfit.
 was making dinner of crackers and cheese at crossroads store in Bledsoe coun- ty when a woman rode up on mule and called to the merchant:
 "Yo' thar, Pete Rabbit! Ar yo' buyin ary coonskins this fallf"
 "Howdy, Mrs. Totten?" he saluted as he stood in the door. 'Yes, I'm abuyin a coonskin now and then, but the price has trapped way down."
 Has the price of caliker also trapped way down" she sharply queried.
 "Caliker dun can't drap no mo-, Mrs. Totten, cause it's staple. Pm a-considerin that the price has got to go up purity soon. Whar's the coonskinf Why, that war an undersized coon, Mrs Totten."
 II dun can't help that, MT. Rabbit That yere coon war jest as the Lawd made him, and I'm not sinful huff to find fault. Pow erful purity pelt, that arr"
 Sorry fur ye, Mrs. Totten, but can't reckon to consider that she's a prime skin and wuth full price" he said as he made a critical examination.
 But yer caliker is prime, in co'se," she Saroastically answered.
 "Caliker has to be prime, Mrs. Totten. If it wasn't prime, 1t wouldn't be htten to bring cents a yard. Dye want caliker fur this coonskinf"
 How muchf"
 ''six yards, I reckon. though shall lose
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
THE EXPOSITION.

Nothing like the display of mining ma chinery at the Midwinter fair has ever been seen anywhere-NeW York World.
 California offers d view of the third lar gest exposition ever held in the world, not so magnificent as tha. at Chicago Paris, but very beautiful.-Chicago Record.
 If California's Midwinter fair accom- plishes half that has been claimed for it, California will take great stride forward in the march of progress. pittsburG Dis patch.
 If nobody had seen the Columbian fair, the Midwinter would appear big indeed. It is big anyhow-a wonderful achievement, considering all the circumstances.-A meda (Cal.) Telegram.
 A large number of tine displays seen at the Worlds fair at Chicago have been se- cured for the California exhibition, and there is no reason why this venture should not prove a financial as well as an artistic success.-Baltimore American.
 The California fair will reflect especial honor upon California and the Pacific states that they organized and made ready so creditable a show ill less than year, and that they did it without asking Aelp from the nation or any outside sour e.-Phila- delphia Press.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
THE ARIZONA KICKER.

The Editors Attempt at serenade Is
 Suddenly Interrupted.
 ANOTHER BAD FAILURE.-We are no gay Lothario or sentimental troubadour, but the thought came to us three months ago that the one great lack of this town was soft and sentimental music to touch up the heartstrings and make tough things ten. der. We sent to Chicago and got guitar, and in the privacy of our bedroom O nights, assisted by printed instructions, we began drumming that instrument and getting proper pitch to our voice. We meant to make a break to astonish the natives at proper time, and that proper time arrived last Sunday evening. At 9 o'clock we put our guitar under our arm and started for Cochse place, and half an hour later we stood before the adobe occupied by the widow Frazier We were about to give the first serenade ever attempted in this con gressional district and so firmly had music taken root in our soul that we had forgot ten to bring along our guns The moon hung low, and the town was quiet, and it was good time to try the experiment.. We braced our feet, cleared our throat and be- gan to sing and play. The sweat had scarcely started behind our ears when the widow began firing on us from a window. At the same moment Il crowd, headed by Utah Joe, came up the street to put down
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
An American Fable.

Once upon time housewife sent her husband to the merchants to make some purchases, and when he returned with the goods she examined them aid dolefully exclaimed:
 "Alas, you have been badly cheated! These stockings are at least half cottopr'
 ''But he warranted them all wool, h re- piled the bus band.
 And this calico will never wash in the worldr'
 And yet he warranted it fast color.'
 And this linen tablecloth is only half Hnen!'
 'The villain, to deceive me sop
 ''He ought to be arrested! Did you pay him?'
 1T did. worked off that dollar bill we believed was counterfeit and slipped in a half dollar which had been plugged. Did any one call while 1 was gone?"
 ''Yes, the tin peddler and the chicken buyer. 1 sold to the first that sheep pelt you declared worthless, and there was much dirt and straw in the bag of paper rags. To the second sold six old fowls at bullet price, and among the four dozen eggs were at least six bad ones."
 MORAL. Its the other fellow whose dis honesty makes life miserable. At the next house the tin peddler and chicken buyer beat the woman out of $2. NJ. QUAD.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
THE TRADE AR TRADEDw

yards and half nohow. Pm a-throwin in half yard bekase yo' clumb that yere tree so peartly."
 Make it nine yards and pinch O snuff, Mir. Babbit."
 Can't nohow consider to do it. It was small coon, and he wasn't prime. How's yer ole man?"
 "Purty tolerable. but he'll be powerfully cast down about this yere coonskin. Make it eight and half yards and two pinches O snuff
 "Look-a yere. Mrs. Totten." said the mer chant after examining the skin again; q can't say as that pelt ar wuth over six yards of caliker, but mebbe it's my dooty to incourage the vimin folks of Bledsoe county to climb trees arter coons and help to keep these yere United States ahead of the rest of the world fur bizness. Mebbe it ar, Mrs. Totten, and as l don't want to shirk no dooty I'll make it eight yards of caliker and huff snuff to tote yo'r nose home on in good sneezin shape"
 "Mr. Rabbit, the trade ar traded!'' she replied as she got down to hitch her mule land 1 must dun say that when the Lawd sends another coon my way hope it'll be primer, more sizable and not climb so blamed high!'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

Mrs. Bowser got him to bed and examin- ed him for bullet holes or knife wounds. There was none. He had no broken limbs. He hadn't fallen off house or been half drowned. When she had satisfied herself on these points, she asked:
 How were you taken?"
 "W-with a c-chill!' he gasped-"with a c-chill and b-backache!'
 II thought so. Mir. Bowser, you have the grip-a second attack. As 1 have some medicine left there's noneed to send for the doctor. I'll have you all right in a day or two"
 Get the doctor at once," walled MT. BOwser, "or 1ni dead man! Such back achel So cold! Mrs. Bowser, if I should d-die. hope"-
 Emotion overcame MT. Bowser, and he could say no more. The doctor came and pronounced it a second attack of grip, but q very mild one. When he had departed, Mrs Bowser didn't accuse MT. Bowser with putting on his summer flannels a month too soon; with forgetting his um- brella and getting soaked through; with leaving his rubbers at home and having damp feet all day. She didn't express her wonder that he hadn't died years ago nor predict that when he reached the age of Methuselah he would know better than to roll in snowbanks or stand around in mud puOuIeS. one QlQn'C KICK over COalrS or slam doors or leave him alone When Mr. Bowser shed tears, she wiped them away When he moaned, she held his hand. When he said he felt that the grim specter was near and wanted to kiss the baby goodby, she cheered him with the prediction that he would be great deal better next day.
 MT. Bowser didn't get up next day, though the doctor said he could. He lay in bed and sighed and uttered sorrowful moans and groans. He wanted toast and preserves; he had to have help to turn over: he worried about relapse; he had to have damp cloth on his forehead; he wanted to have a council of doctors, and he read the copy of his last will and testament over three times. He was all right next morning. how ever. When Mrs. Bowser asked him how he felt, he replied:
 How do feel? Why, as right as atrivet. of course. When man takes the care of himself that do-when he has the nerve and will power l have-he can throw off most anything. You would have died, Mrs. Bowser, but I was scarcely affected. It was just play spell. I'd like to be real sick once just to see how it would seem. Chol- era, l suppose it was, but outside of feel ing little tired 1 wasn't at all affected.'
 And the dutiful Mrs. Bowser looked at him and swallowed it all and never said word to hurt his feelings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
w. P. THoMS.
NeW York & New England

Passenger Train Service. January :. 1894. Trains leave Waterbury for BOSTON-3.i5 30 a m co. 3.55 D m. PRONlnFNCE-34 45 80 a m LOO b5 p m. NEW YORk via BreWster-sOb a m 2.O5 p m. WORCESTER-3.i5 7.}0 a m LOO p m. NEW LONDON-73 a m 1.O0, 3.55 D m. PUTNAM-3.45 7.3O a m LOO. 3.b5 pm WILLlMANTlC-3.45 : 30 Il m LOO, 3.55 m. SpR1NGFIEID-9.05 a m 3.65 P m. HARTFORD-3.45 7.3O. 9O5 lO:I5 a m. loo
 3.5h S15 r. m NEW BRITAIN-3.45 7.3O. 9o5 1o45 a m LOO PLAINVIILE@345 7so. 9O5. loB m 100 BRIsToI@s45 7.so. eo5, lo45 m loo TERRYviLLE-7.so eo5 1O45a m 100 s5Q wATERV1 30. DOS. 1o. .4s m s.SS. sls pm WEST CHESHIRE 4,3O. s.3O n m. 4.30 m. MEltIDEN 43o $50 m, 4.30 D m. CROMWELL 93O a m. 43O D m. UNION ClTY-fs.05 a m 2lOpm. TOWANTIC-fs.O5 a m f2.1O. SD m. SOUTHFORD-s.O5 m 2.lO. D m. POMPERAUG VALLEY-s.O5 a m 21O sANbgYl Ii HtooK-so5a m 21o. p m. HAWIFYVILLE-s sos m 2.i0, D m BREMSTERS-s,05 a m 2.10. 1l.bO pm. L-ON-HUDSON-s.IO m 2O6 D m RB Binghampton, Elmira. Jamestown. Cleve- land. Akron and Chicago s.O5 a m POI pm. POUGIIKEEPSIE. via Hopewel sos a m
 l.50 D. m.
 Sunday trains Hartford and Boston
 w. R. HANCOCK.
 Gen Pass Agent Boston.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

But Later on, When He Is Attacked by
 the Same Dreadful MaIady, Things As
 sume a Different Phase-The Man Who
 Uses Every Precnution Finally Laid Low.
 Copyright, 1894, by Charles B. Lewis.l
 What's this! Whats this' exclaimed MT. Bowser as he came home the other evening and found Mrs. Bowser lying on the sofa and looking very much distressed.
 The doctor says it's the grip-a second attack," she explained. II was taken with chill and headache about noon and"--
 Grip? Second attack? That's all non sense, Mrs. Bowserl Nobody can have the grip a second time"
 But the doctor says so."
 'Then the doctor is an idiot, and I'll tell him so to his face. I know what's the mat ter with you. You've been walking around the back yard barefooted doing some oth- CT foolish thing. I expected it, however. No woman is happy unless she's fiat down about half the time. How on earth any of your sex manage to live to be 20 years old is mystery to me- The average woman has no more sense than rag baby"
 II haven't been careless" she replied.
 II know better! Of course you have! If you hadn't been, you wouldn't be where you are Grip be hangedl We'll, it's only right that you should suffer for it. Call it what you wish, but don't expect any sym pathy from me. While use every precau- tion to preserve my health you go sloshing around in your bare feet, or sit on a cake of ice to read dime novel, or do some other tomfoOl thing to flatten you out l refuse to sympathize with you, Mrs. Bowser-abso- lutely and teetotally refuseto utter one word of pity"
 Mrs. Bowser had nothing to say in reply. Mr. Bowser ate his dinner alone, took ad- vantage of the occasion to drive few nails and make a great noise, and by and by went off to his club and was gone until midnight. Next morning Mrs Bowser felt a bit better and made heroic attempt to be about until he started for the office. The only reference he made to her illness was to say:
 If you live to be 800 years old, you may possibly learn something about the laws of health and be able to keep out of bed three days in a week"
 Mrs. Bowser was all right at the end of three or four days, and nothing more was said. Then one afternoon at o'clock a carriage drove up, and a stranger assisted Mir. BOwser into the house. He was look ing pale and ghastly, and his chin Quivered, and his knees wobbled.
 "What is it, Mir. Bowser?" she exclaimed as she met him at the door.
 ''Bed-doctor-dea he gasped in reply.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

SIMPLY bt cause Master Workman Sovereign of the Knights of Labor made n foolish break in regard to the O,OOO,O GOO bond issue and was courteously but firmly headed of, he is assiduously engagel in making a show of himself. Since he can not have his own way he has made the highly interesting discovery that anarchy Is floating over the United States treasury department at Washington. If Mir Sovereign keeps on putting his foot in his mouth he will soon swallow himself, and then Terrence V. Powdcrly will have a walk away, indeed, at the next election of the organization.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

Ex-PREsIDENT HARRIsoN's assurance to Governor Mckinley that he is out of the presidential field may be taken as an eX- pression of opinion that he regards the governor as the rightful claimant to. the succession, and as the man best entitled to his help. Mckinley will certainly need assistance, and Harrison will be potent ally; but it is doubtful whether the pair of them can match the shrewo'and willy Reed in the ractlcal business of picking up the early delegates.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
S1elIinO Lesson.

 There lived man in Mexico, Who all his life did battle To rightly spell such easy words As Nahuatlacatl. He wrote the name of all the towns, It took of ink a bottle, But could not spell Tenochtitlan Nor plain Tlacatecotl. He went to spelling school each day, And though a man of mettle He could rot conquer TopiltZan Nor HuitZilopochetl. He dwclt some time in Yucatan, And there at TZompantili He learned to spell one little word, Twas Ziuhonolpilli. The joy Of spelling just one word Did all his mind unsettle. But. spelling still, he choked at last On Popocatepeu.
 Youths Companion.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
N. H. & H. Railroad Time Table
June II, 1893. NAUGATUCK DIVISION.

Trains leave Waterbury as follows: For NEW YORK--6.Ob. 73o. s.2s, 1O.bO a m: 19s 325, 5.53 m. Sunday. 415 pm. Return, b0l, 800, 1908 a m; 100 4O2 6O9 pm. Sunday. 601 m. For NEW HAVEN, via Naugatuck Junction 73O. s26 m; 1.28, BPS, 5b3 m Via Derby Junction. 6y05 S.26, 1O.bO a m: l2S 3!2b, 5.53 D m.
 Return via Naugatuck Junction at l4b pm Sunday, 500 a m. Via Derby Junction TOO 9.i2 a. m: 12.00. 2.20. 5.30 TAO D. m. Sunday S.10 m. For BRIDGEPORT-6'O 7.30, PC. 1O.bO a m .2S 3.25, b.53 D m. Sunday 4.f5 D ID. Return at 7.05. 940 a m 12.0O, 228, 5.90 TAT pm. SundayS,15 m. For ANSONIA-60b 80. S26, 10.bO a m l.2S, 325 5.53. TOO (mixed) m. Sunday 4.lb Return at TAO 1o21. a m 12.s1 s.Ol, 6.IO B.: pm. Sunday s.46 m. For WATERTOWN-6.44, sS7. l1l7 m s.bs. 612 7.O4 m. Saturday 9.15 pm. Return at 6.25 .55. 1O.3c m 2.5O 4.s5 8.SO pm Saturday 7.35 m. Fvc THOMASTON-s32 1112 m; 3.52 6.bo, 900 D m. Sunday 9.25 a m. Return at 7.08 7.55,. 1923 m 2.55 B.26 D m. Sunday 3.47 D m. For rTORRINGTON-8.S 11.12 m S.CQ 6Bp 9Mpm. Sunday 9.25 m, Return at CAT, 7.S1, 1920 m 230. B.O8 D m Sunday 3.23 D m. For WINSTED-SS2 112 a m: 8.Sa e,E9. 800 pm. Sunday 925 m.
 Return at 6S0. 7.10. e.40 m 20S. k.z2 Sundayl3 plm. e
 CT. HEMPsTEAD Gen Pass Assns
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

THE laboring classes have a hard time of it. An Omaha judge has decided that the hands employed on the Union Pacific rail- way must not strike because of the reduc- ton in their wages. The same judge en- joys the credit of having ordered that the receivers appointed for the road shall be paid annually SIS, ,0O0 each for whatever services they may render, whether much or little, or even none at all. Justice with her scales is represented as blindfolded, As far as that model judge was concerned the scales held by the goddess has evident ly been tempered with.
 INVENTIVE genius has not stopped with the pneumatic tire on the sulky and bi- cycle but has been busy with the work of perfecting ball bearings with such'success that few days since street car. which was equipped with the latest inventions in ball bearings, that would do away almost entirely with friction, was drawn a dis tance of several hundred feet by a single man, tugging gently at three strands of ordinary sewing thvead attached to the car. Perhaps a more interesting experience was that of q carriage manufacturer in the west. who put another style of ball bear ings upon the wheels of large coach, to which four horses were ordinarily hitched. Then he took trained dog, and harnessed and hitched him to the pele when the dog drew the huge coach easily around the yard. This sounds like fancy, but it is fact. This invention should prove great boon to the over worked ear horses, and it Is in the nature of a satire that it should almost universally. disappearing from the street car lines, and trolley and cable are taking their places.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
ImOrOyeme March,

The king of Dahomey shuddered.
 Are you sure?" he asked.
 The grand vizer pointed again to the lat est dispatches from Europe.
 Very we'll" said his majesty decidedly. ''Then we must have bicycles in our army, too, of course! War;
 He unused.
 lis fast becoming mere butchery, kill ing and maiming- nothing more."
 No. The king had no choice as between cushion and pneumatic tires. Either served the purpose. Pluck.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
Proper.

II always suspected that cashier" said a member of the board of directors.
 Maybe hc,ll turn up," said another "You can't always judge man by his .,p- pearance."
 "No. But ill a case like this it is pretty safe to judge him by his disappearance" -WashiurtOn on Star
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
MuLLIGAN.


was trying to find the man who had promised to paint my front stoop. At the shop they told me he had started on job in Hester street, so to Hester street I went. The house the man was paint ing stood in an alley where humanity sw0rned.
 As I threaded my way through it's humming midst 1 heard a voice call "Mulligan! It seemed to come from a window above me, and immediately aft CT I heard a woman remark to another woman:
 "Tne craythur! She's away looking for Mulligan again. Sure, her hearts broke with himy'
 A moment later had found my paint CT. He was saying to another painter:
 (Which brush do ye mean? Mebbe Mulligan took it.
 Was he round here? Then he's got it. sure enough, said the other, resigned ly.
 At this juncture a mason came out of the basement, trOWel in hand.
 Did Milligan fetch my tin pail ont here?'
 Had it at the hydrant 10 minutes ago."
 "Well, say, why didn't you take it away from him? The good for nothing tough! He won't fetch it back, and see how I'm fixed!'
 here endeavored to attract my paint CTS attention to the job I wished him to undertake. He listened with a wander ing smile, due to the fact that the other two were engaged in discussing further instances of Mulligan's reckless deprav- ity.
 was filled with wonder as to who o1 what Mulligan might be ard whence came the secret of his impressive indi- viduality. Suddenly one of the men ex- claimed, "There he is, by Joe!'
 A chorus greeted him.
 "Hey, Mullisan, you're going to catch it! Where's my brush? Where's Coo ney's tin pail? They're hollering for you all through Hester street"
 Mulligan advanced with dignity, threw the tin pail at Cooney and passed on. Mulligan was baby3 years old.-Puck,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

HEADACHE
 Indigestion, Billiousness. DYSPEPSIA
 And all Stomach Troubles
 Are Cured by P. P. P.
 (Prickly Ash, Poke Root and Potassium. ) P. P. P. is sure cure for Rheumatism, Scrofuls, Blood poison. Blotches. Pimples, and all skin and blood diseases.
 Cancerous sore on face, years of skin trouble, Glandular swelling, sufferer rend- CTS. thanks to P. P. P. for it's great cures. FAbbots East Indian Corn PaintZsafes all Corns, Warts, and Bunions.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

by it.
 ''Neverr' she exclaimed. Its wuth 10 yards and pinch of snuff. killed that coon myself, MT. Rabbit"
 That thought be-"
 "Skeert him out O the confield and up a big tree and went up arter him."
 "Yes, knowed yo' was powerful smart, Mrs. Totten, but I couldn't go over six
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
Something In It.

Mr. Morris Park-What splendid purse you have got there!
 Mr. Manhattan Beach-A birthday pres ent from my wife.
 But was there anything inside of it?" "Of course. The unpaid bill for the purse. ."-TcXas Siftings.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
Not In This Age,

"You mustn't be hard on Jimmy" said Aunt Jemima. Boys will be boys"
 'They will, hey?' snorted Uncle Gabriel. ''All the boys l know are breaking their blamed necks to be menn'-Chicago Trib une
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
He Couldn't Say.

Willis-We hired a new cook yesterday. Wallace-What's her name?
 Willis-Her name? Oh, 1 don't know She didn't stay long enough for us to learn that.-Truth.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
The Drlnpcru1.
c. and NJ. T. MALONEY. PUBLISHERS.

Letters and communications should bear the name and address of the writer in each case as guarantee of good faith. AnOny- nous communications will not be printed.
 Any irregularity in delivery should be re- ported to the office at once.
 Entered at the Post Office at Waterbury as secOnd-class matter.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
Awkward.

"Weatherby's in a terrible stew"
 "How?"
 "One of his friends sent him a S1,200 grand piano on his birthday, and he's only got $500 cottage to put it in."-Chicago Recnrd
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

ming through the brush 15 rods away ought to have no trouble in plugging an Ohio drummer at a distance of six feet We think we shall go east and have our eyes examined
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

Buffalo Bills Laid Over. ALBANY, Feb l4.-The Buffalo charter bills were laid over by the senate because of a lack of votes to pass them
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14

SUBSCRIPTION RATES One year. $500 Three mos. tl.26 SIX months -25O One month. .42
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
| SIII.I. MY

 Pal do not like that young man and wish he would keep away. Daughter-IIe does not come very of ten.
 "Very often? He is here nearly every evening and sometimes in the afternoon y But, pa, he never comes in the morn ing
 "No. Iwish he would." ''You do:" "Ies. If he could once see you in the morning, he would never come again. - Tit-Bits.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-14
A Champion.


 of the lower classes leads them into some strange proceedings. The inhabitants of a village near Marseilles were lately much excited over a strange and terrible noise which was heard nightly in a ccr- tain neighborhood. At first the people were convinced that the sounds were made by some wild animal which had in vaded the village. Some said that 1t Was the bowling of a wolf, but d man whC had heard wolves howl declared that this was not one.
 It was heard with surprising regular ity. It began each time with a sound like the wailing of a cat, but presently became more like the praying of q don key. In many cases, however, it ftScm bled the snarl of an enraged tigress and sometimes developed into sound com parable to the roaring of a liOn
 After the inhabitants had been turned out of their beds several nights by this strange and awful sound they induced q doctor who lived in a ncighboring town and who was well known for his sagacity to investigate it. He came and listened and traced the noise to its source. Ii came from little house, recently unOc- cupied, into which a man had lately moved. This man, who had been a bar itone singer, was in the habit of leaving his windows open at night and the ter riblc noise was no more nor less than his snoring.
 Before the doctor completed his inves- legations he had asccrtained that this mans snoring could be heard at a dis tance of 300 yards.
 The people of the village are now very prOud of the new resident. for they re gard him as the champion snorer of the wurld.-Youth's Companion.