The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-07-29

| Major Carl Ken per, of WatonCa, o. T.
was in the city last night aud occupied n
upper birth at the GOODYEAR house.
! Major keuper looks like an enlarged
Brownie lie Is low in statue and a
round as any firkin thar was ever fash
I toned 10y the hand Of a cooper. He has
/ fierce looking military mOustache aud /
/ face as red as setting August SUI,
As he adjusted his back TO post, pre-
! sented a rotund Anbauser front 10 tbi
drug store, pulled furiously at an alfalfa
I cigar. and threw long, lingering lo0l
! beyond the prescription case within, h'
was fae study.
! "Oh. yes, said be to reporter, Okla
| homa is getting along as well as could bt
expected under the prevailing conditions
! The wheat crop was large and there Is d
very good show for corn. Nature has been
very kind 10 US in everything but brains. u
brains; why Oklahoma is said 10 have
more brains u the quarter section than
any country on earth, suggested by
starder.
'Yes." replied Major heuper. there is
a good deal of gray matter ia Oklahoma,
but 1t isn't the right kind. i he people
there follow TOO much in the old rut and
Will not accept a new idea. They are
afraid TO take a step forward. Why. |
myself, have plan that would reduce the
taxes of the territory oDe-baif, but when
sprung it they said / had wheel in my
head. III tell you, gentlemen, people don {
know what brains are any more. IL a man
writes fool piece OF poetry about love
they call him smart. but II one gets uD a
new idea TO relieve the poor man of the
burden Of taxation they say he has u
merry-go--ound in his cranium.'
What i your plan.' asked reporter
for the EAGLE.
well cir, it is simple" said
the major enthusiastically he
anticipated encouuteiius an attentive
ear 1T is simply to taXbogus
titles" The growing evil OF our
times, sir, is bogus titles. This Is especi-
ally true of our territory since that there
Hoke Smith took charge of Us. | would
tax every general, colonel. mayor, captain,
doctor and judge il the territory who are
not entitled II be addressed IN that WAY.
have carefully Investigated the matter and
! am sure here would be no trouble Ia
raising quarter OF million dollars an
nualiy in this manner
The major drew from his pocket a little
note book bignly perfumed with tobacco
and said: We had last March IN the terri
tory as nearly AS could be estimated 80
generals, 4.370 colonies, n majors, S3l
captains 5000 doctors ana 2J4O Judges
Fully - per cent of these bear spurious
titles aud am In favor. for one. oi max
ing them pay fOT their honoTs. It would
be only Just 10 myself and every other
brave man IN the territory who earned our
titles honorahly in the field OF carnage
fighting in defense Of our country and
human freedom
How woald you 20 about executing
your plan:'
u would first crystalizs my idea into
statutory law providing for tax on titles.
Generals | would tax $50 year coIOnels.
SIS; majors, so; Captains, SO, doctors,
SIS anu judges, 500.
How about squires,'
"By George, I hadn't thought about
them. gus would put them down at
81 90 apiece aud l suppose We have three
or four thousand of them"
What would you do with the money
thus raised;'
Il would divide it into four equal funds.
one fund for educttlon, one for poor
widows at d orphSus. one for rewards for
the arres. and conviction Of horse thieves,
aud one for the support OF a milf
tia organization. What we most
need now Is military organIZa-
tiou. | understand there j. but
one company Of militia IN the territory
aud that the most Of these still belong 10
Tue n hlUl OF me Wet iAt7r- II - q -ldtile
that we oau't have an army 10 defend our
own laws without having 70 call upon the
federal government We could support "a
nice local army on one-fOurth the sum de
rived from my pian.H
"W hat have YOU done towards putting
your idea into effect.
Nothing Vet, except to announce
to my friends that am
candidate Tor the Legislature !
have tae sunDolt of my comfy aud
think | will get there. | wrote a few DAYS
ago 10 Dennis Flynn asking bin L give
my idea lis support aud although have
not yet received an answer 1 think he viii
look upon II favOrabiy. Dennis, like my
self, is no believer n aristocratic titles and
am sure lie Will give me his support"
Major heuper saYs that the crop pros
poets are not very fltttering in his section
of the country and that rain j. very badly