davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
ALL He WANTED.
An Explanation That Was Necessary 20
Prevent a Grave Misunderstanding.

An Explanation That Was Necessary &c
Prevent a Grave Misunderstanding.
You had an item in you paper this
morning." said the husky citizen with
a bad eye, about a sensation in high
life. Well-known resident OF the su.
burbs charged with whipping his
wife or something of that kind, didn't
you?"
Il believe we did," answered the city
editor. glancing at a pigeon-hole where
lay trusty weapon ready for instant
use in case of emergency.
You are prepared to back y up.
s'pose."
I'VE are, sir"
The newspaper man edged little
nearer to his desk.
you know what you may expect
when you print SANDER IN o man, do
yOu?" pursued the other.
I'VE take the risk of that sir"
You're ready to suffer the conse-
quence if you can't prove it, are your
I'VE can prove every word of 4, sir. -
"Well, sir, I've come here for JUS
ticer'
The caller struck his cienched fist on
the table. and the editor moved his
hand in casual way toward the pig
con hole.
Il have come here, sir. to demand
that you say tomorrow morning that
the Hiram Higginsellers who thrashed
his wife is not the Hiram Higginsellers
that keeps the cosy and inviting little
tobacco shop in the Ellsworth block
on the next corner. That's all, sir.
Good morning Chicago Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
INDIANS AS ARCHERS.
They Begin Prsctioing While Yet in Their
Infancy.


An Indian boy begins to handle a
light bow when he toddles; that means
at the age of four or five years. His
bow is taller than himself He has a
habit of practicing at anything around
his wigwam. BY the time he attains
the age of twelve he is permitted to
use sharp arrows. Such boy must be
strong at eighteen to use a mans bow.
A white man, when he takes an Indian
bow for the first time, has all he can
do to bend it. 1t takes a strong man 20
do it, but there is also large amount
of knaclS required. An Indian
bow is made straight; the cord,
even when in tension, almost
touches the bow. 1t is thick. and is
some four and a half to five feet in
length-the hunting bow is now spoken
of-and the same has an extra stiffeu-
ing by having sinews pasted on it. We
shess-has-ka, member of the 0gala
Sioux tribe-his name implies THE
Long Man." he stands nearly seven
feet high, and is not unworthy his so
briquet-has been known to kill an an
telope at one hundred and twenty-five
measured yards.
The bow used in warfare is trifle
shorter. and perhaps is sitter. The
arrow is not drawn to the eye, but a
catch aim is taken, as when rifle shoot
ing is done from the hip. Such shoot
ing, in perfection. is only acquired by
long practice. The string is drawn by
the clutch of the whole of the fingers,
though some tribes use the thumb and
three fingers. Remarkable shooting is
often performed by the Sioux, though
nothing that will compare with the
somewhat legendary performances of
Robin Hood.-N Y World.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
100 FAR AHEAD.
The Time When Over-Planning Caused
Many Inconvenlonces.

Inc limo Nhen Oser-Rianntng Caused
Many Inconyenionces.
"There is such a thing as planning
too far ahead" remarked Mrs. Hin
man, on arriving at her brothers
house after a-day's journey. Now,
here l am, tired to death. Had to
wait over an hour at that junction,
where there wasn't even a box to sit
on, and my trunk nobody knows
where, just because / planned ahead
SO far"
"Why, Aunt Martha, don't see how
that can bel You always say"
"Yes, l know l do. But I never
shall again. A week ago yesterday
bought my ticket, SOS to be sure of it.
/ asked carefully about every train,
and wrote down all they told me-what
time, what towns l should pass
through, and all Then the day be-
fore l started sent my trunk to the
station and got check for it, SOS to
be sure it wouldn't be left; and this
morning got to the depot an hour
before it was time for the train to
start.
II felt as calm and composed as could
be. | only had little package and
my satchel and umbrella and the box
of luncheon Mary fixed for me and my
shawl, so l didn't have nothing on my
mind. My ticket was in my pocket
book, and SO was the check for my
trunk.
'Well, saw the train standing there
with a ticket on it telling the names
of the places it was going to, and
read them all over, SOS to be sure /
was right. and seeing Millville on it
plain as print, / got right into the car
and sat down.
II hadn't set more'n ten minutes be-
fore the car filed up and started off.
thought il was starting early, but /
felt real pleased to think / was in good
season. That train stopped more times
an hour than | should like TO say; and
bout noon the conductor came into the
car and shouted out long TRADE.
II didn't pay any attention to it at
the time, because l thought l had
found out my whole course a week be-
fore; but as / stood round there at
that junction / remembered that he
said something about taking the back
car for way stations.
1.-THE whole story is that l took a
train that started fifty minutes before
the one ought to have taken, and by
being so well prepared for my journey,
i didn't pay proper attention to things,
and was switched OFF on another road
without perceiving 1t.
And by getting a check for my
trunk, it was sent on a day too soon,
and can't get it till they've dug it out
from under lot more baggage; and
instead of coming here in three hours,
it has taken me six hours and forty
minutes.
Don't talk to me about planning
ahead again; it's been almost the
death of me this time. Youths Com
panion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
BOTANY AND ENTOMOLOGY.
Some of the Welcomes Given the Insect
Nisitants by Flowers.

Some of the Welcomes Given the Insect
Nisitants by Flowers.
Botany and entomology must hence
forth go hand in hand. The flower
must be considered as an embodied well
come to an insect affinity, and all sorts
of courtesie prevail among them in the
reception of their invited guests. The
banquet awaits, but various singular
ceremonies are enjoined between the
cup and lip the stamens doing the hos
FATALITIES in timc-honored forms of ETH
quette. Flora exacts no arbitrary GUS
toms. Each flower is a law unto it
self. And how expressive, novel and
eccentric are these social customsl
The garden SALIVA, for instance,
slaps the burly bunblebee upon the
back and marks him for her own as
he is ushered in to the feast. The
mountain-laurel welcome the twilight
moth with an impulsive multiple en-
brace. The desInodium and genesta
celebrate their hospitality with joke,
as il were, letting their threshold fall
beneath he feet of the caller, and
startling him with an explosion and
cloud of yellow powder, suggesting the
prickly-pear cactus incloses it's buzz
zing visitor in a golden bower, from
which he must emerge at the roof as
dusty as a miller. The barberry, in
similar vein, lays mischievous hold of
the tongue of its sipping-bee, and /
fancy, in his early acquaintance, before
he has learned its ways, gives him more
of a welcome than he had bargained
for. The evening primrose, with out
stretched filaments, hangs a golden
necklace about the welcome murmur-
ing noctuid, while the various orchids
excel in the ingenuity of their saluta-
tions. Here is one which presents
pair of tiny clubs to the sphinx-moth
at it's threshold, gluing them to its
bullying eyes. Another attaches SINH
lar tokens to the tongues of butter
flies, while the cypripedium speeds its
parting guest with sticlxing-plaster
smeared all over its back. And so we
might continue almost indefinitely
w. Hamilton Gibson,in Harper's Maya
zine
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19

In London, one in every fifteen ci,i-
zens dies in the workhouse. the hospi-
tai or the penitentiary. In England,
eighty out of every hundred homes
bear n valuation of but one hundred
dollars. In London, only one boy in
forty attends any kind of school after
he is twelve years old, and il goes
without saving that the percentage is
much smaller among girls. One million
two hundred thousand of the residents
in London live on less than five dollars
a week per family, and three hundred
thousand are i'm chronic want of food.
In the poorer parts there is one public
house to every eighty persons; there
are ninety thousand actual paupers,
and vet the charities are such that
there would be five dollars apiece for
every man, woman and child in the city
of London annually. -Union Signal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
The ITnfamable Zebra.

Sir CORVALLIS Harris. an English
hunter in South Africa, says that the
zebra is much fleeter of foot than the
antelope. Seeking the widest and
most sequestered spots in troops, the
animals are under the special charge
of sentinel, SO posted on an adjacent
crag as to command a view of every
avenue Of approach. No sooner has
the note of alarm been sounded by the
sentinel, than the whole flock hurry
forward to ascertain the nature of the
danger, and, having gazed a moment
at the advancing hunter, away they
thunder down craggy precipices and
over yawning ravines, where no hui
man foot could dare follow them. To
creep near enough to shoot even the
sentinel requires hours of careful APP
proach. and it is only by hunting in
numbers and driving the zebras down
on the plains that they are ever slain
or captured. For domestic purposes
they are useless. as no zebra has yet
been tanned. -Golden DAYS.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
HEARD IN THE CAR.
How Ons Young Lady Furnished q Sur
prise for Another.

How One Young Lady Furnished q Sur
prise for Another.
Two sweet young things met IN a
street-car. They hadn't seen each
other for ages and they had TO retail
the ages accumulation of news
''oh, do you know" said the one in
brown, that Harry Filters is &c
marry Blanche Hilton?"
"a hadn't heard of it." replied the
one in gray Tell me about it."
Well. I've heard of it from several
sources. and l must say that / don't
think Blanche is to be congratulated. -
why not?"
why. don't you know what a
wretched fiirt Mr.. Filters isP''
The one in gray shook her head.
We'll. it's so. And that isn't the
worst of it,"
''What else?"
"He's awful fast"
Really"
yes Everybody knows IL Goes
with the rapidist set Of men in the city.
CANDLES, bets on horse-races, drinks"
oh, surely notr'
Fact Drinks like a fish Was car
ried home in very mellow state one
night last week"
II can't believe it"
''Oh, it's true. They say Blanche
won't believe it, either. Are you not
sorry for her?"
No"
We'll, perhaps she doesn't deserve
any sympathy, marry such a fellow
/ don't sympathize much with her my
self"
II don't believe she is going to be
married to him." said the one in gray.
Don't you? Why?"
because I'm to be married to him
myself next month This is my corner.
GoOd-by."
iud the sweet young thing in gray
stepped off the car, leaving the sweet
young thing in brown gazing after her
in wide-eyed amazement "-William
Henry Siviter, in Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends TO personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Its excellence is due TO its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
alive; eiEectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
Il has given satisfaction TO millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
news, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in SOC and 81 bottles, but it is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19

The Trying Ordeal Described by Girl
Who Undertook the Task.

VINO tuuertOOk the TASK.
Did you ever try to teach a man how
to waltz? If you never have, don't at
tempt it. One girl went through such
an ordeal, and this is what she told
about it: "In the first place, | stood
beside him, took hold of his hand and
tried to illustrate how the first steps
went. Then | told him to do as did,
and he began to see-saw back and forth
like a wild Indian. When he whirled
around both arms sprang out, some
times hitting me in the eyes, and occa-
sionally giving me whack in the back
of the neck. His feet made themselves
into Chinese puzzles. He invariably
toed in, walked on his own heels, or
else pranced around heel-and-toe fash
ion. lie said he had no idea that he
had so little control over his feet.
had to sit down every few moments to
collect my thoughts. catch my breath
and refrain from growing incurably
cross-eyed trying to keep track of the
whereabouts of his shoes. 1t
was 'one, two, three four un-
til my lips became parched
from constant counting. You'd
have though that he was walking
through snowdrifts to watch his steps.
Such wriggling, such twisting and
twirlin2 never before gazed upon.
kept saying: 'You must be very tired;
won't you rest awhile?' and he always
answered: Tired? Well, guess not!
This is just too jolly And then off
he'd go in mad tangle of jumps and
hops and all the time he sung that
awful thing about My left foot is
crazy, my right foot is lazy, now don't
be unazy, I'll learn yez to waltz After
awhile he insisted on my dancing with
him. Well, when I'd start he'd be puz-
cling about which foot ne should begin
with, or else he'd say: Hold on now,
till think of something to whistle
When we did make beginning he used
me for pivot and raced around me as
if he were the tire of a wheel and the
hub. Oh, il was awful. And when we
got all through with the lesson and
was puzzling my brains wondering
why it wasn't more successful it sud-
denly dawned on my weak little mind
that / had taught him to begin with
the same foot that girls begin with. So
/ suppose I've got to go through the
whole thing again the next time he
collie D-poStou Post
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
The Lotus Eaters.

According to Homer, the lotus eaters
were people who lived on the north
ern coast of Africa, visited by Ulysses
in his wanderings, and who endeavored
to detain his companions by giving
them the lotus to eat-whoever ats of
this fruit wished never to depart. The
Arabs called the fruit of the lotus the
fruit of destiny" which they believe
is TO be eaten in Paradise. The lotus
is shrub two or three feet high, and
it's fruit, which is produced in great
abundance, is dwarf of the size of a
wild plum. which has pleasant, sweet
taste. The name lotus has been given
to several beautiful specimens of water
lily, especially to the blue water lily
and the Egyptian water lily.-Chicago
Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
Husiness scheme.

First Divorce Lawyer-We ought to
advertise bit.
Second DivorceLawyer-Bu so many
of the papers will not accept divorce
advertisements.
First Divorce Lawyer-I've got a
scheme to get around that. Wen adj
vertise free instructions on How to
Make Home Happy" and all of the peo-
pie who are unhappily married will be
writing to us for copies. indianapolis
Journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
A YOUTHFUL QUEEN.



William ~. was dead. The arch
bishop of Canterbury and Lord Conyng-
ham were dispatched to inform the
Princess Victoria of the fact. II was a
warm night in June. The princess
was sleeping in her mothers room,
her custom from childhood. and had
TO be summoned out of her sleep. The
messengers awaited her in the long,
unlofty room, separated only by fold.
ing doors from that hich was inhab-
tied by the ducness o. Kent and her
daughter The Dung girl entered
alone, in her nightdress, with some
loose wrap thrown about her. The
moment she was addressed as your
Majesty" she put out her hand, init
mating t..at the lords who addressed
her We're to kiss it and thereby 10
homage. Her schooling and her in
stincts were admirable from the first.
Self-possession combined with perfect
modesty came naturally to her.
A few hours later. at eleven o'clock
in the morning, the child queen met
her council. In the corridor at Wind.
sor there is picture which commem
crates the event. Never, it has been
said by an eye witness, was anything
| like the first impression she produced.
or the chorus of praise and admiration
which was raj sed about her manner
and behavior. certainly not without
| justice. Her extreme youth and mex
perience. and the ignorance of the
world concerning her-for she had
lived in complete seclusion-excited in
terest and curiosity.
Asked whether she would enter the
room accompanied by the great officers
of state, she said she would come in
alone. Accordingly, when all the
lords of the privy council were
assembled, the folding doors were
thrown OPEN and the queen en-
tered, quite plainly dressed and
in mourning, and took her seat
for the first time. a young girl
among crowd of men, including all
the most famous and powerful of hel
subjects. She bowed and read her
speech. handed 70 her by the prime
minister, Lord Melbourne, in a clear
and firm voice, and then took the oath
for the security of the church of Scot
land.
Immediately the privy councillors
were sworn; the royal dukes of Cum
berland and Sussex first, by themselves
IL was observed that as these two old
men, her uncles, knelt before her.
swearing allegiance, she blushed up to
the eyes, as if she felt the contrast be-
tween their civil and natural relations
Her manner was very graceful and en-
gaging, and she kissed them both, and
rising from her chair, moved toward
the duke of Sussex, who was too in
firm to reach her.-Fortnightly Re-
view.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19

Mrs. ALI = Robertson, OF Half Rock, Mer-
Ger Co, Mo, writes: For twenty years, /
suffered with womb disease and most of the
time l was i'm constant pain which rendered
life great burden. / cannot express what
suffered. had eight doctors and all the
medicine l had from them failed-the one
after tine other
Twas nervous, cold hands and feet, palpita-
ton, headache, backache, constipation, leu
Corrhea and no appetite, with bearing down
pains l got so weak I could not walk
around. l had TO keep my bed, thinking L
would never get ans better.
One day my husband got one of your little
books and read it to me. He said there was
nothing doing me any good. i said would
try DR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. i did
try it. After the first few weeks my appe-
tite was better; / was able 70 sit up in bed.
/ wrote to the Worlds Dispensary Medical
Association, at Buffalo, N. V, and described
my case they sent me a book on woman's
diseases / read carefully and followed the
directions as near as | could and took the
medicine for two years With the blessing
Of God and your medicines, I am entirely
cured That was three years ago"
Yours trulv
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
PITH AND POINT.

1t takes some people long time TO
find out that it never pays to worry
Rams Horn.
do you think Officer McCobb is
square?" surely, he must be; he Is
never round when wanted. "-Indi-
annapolis Journal.
-Susan-''I shall hate TO be twenty
five awful" Alice-'But you can't
be put in peril of it second time. -
Raymond's Monthly.
-He-"Ah-the worst of you Ameri-
cans is that you have no Leisure
class" She-"Yes. we have. We call
them trampsr'-Punch.
Don't be clam. If you've got TO
be anything of the kind. be u mud
turtle. Then you may have some snap
to you.-Texas Siftings.
-Palette-"The chairman of the
hanging committee at the academy is
a dog" Mrs. Palette-'A what?" Pa
lette-"A sky terrier. Harlem Life.
Mr. Henpeck (soliloquizing)-"It
is when l read of Solomon's many
wives that ] begin to doubt the great
wisdom he is said 20 have had. hos
ton Courier
by the way, Jones, who was the
greatest liar?" Jones-''Baron Mum
chausen." ''No; Rip Van Wrinkle
Didn't he lie in the woods for twenty
years" -Philadelphia Record.
Suppose fellows best
girl gets mad when he asks for kiss?"
Curtis Take it without asking"
Ralph-"Suppose she gets mad then?"
Curtis-'Then he's got some other fell
lows girl brooklyn Life.
-Teacher-"Who can tell me what
useful article we get from the whale?
Johnny" Scholar - "Whalebone. 4"
Teacher-"Right. Now, what little
boy or girl knows what we get from
the seal Tommy" Scholar Seal
ing wax. p. & 5. S. Co.'S Bulletin.
1t was Margaret, five and half
years old, who heard some one remark,
somewhat bitterly, on Sunday morn
ing, that it looked like rain. "Well,"
she said, ''you know it's the Lords
day, andI suppose lie can do what He
wants to with it i'-Boston Transcript.
But, papa" walled the young
woman, ''you have no idea how he
loves me. lie IS willing to die for me
this very minute" WELL" said the
old man, scratching his head thought
fully, II don't know as have any OBJ
lection to that. / was afraid he want
ed to marry you. "-Tit-Bits.
Giving 1t Away.-"What is your
mother doing, Toozer?" asked Senior
Alley. "Fussing out in the kitchen
because she baked custard and gave
it away" "What did she give it away
fore" "Why, pa, don't you know it al
ways gives a custard a whey to bake it
too long?"-Arkansaw Traveller
Mrs. Corntassel had been to the
Corcoran art gallery. What did you
think of the statuary?" asked her
hostess. "Well," was the meditative
reply, "of course, it's mighty poor taste
and sinfully wasteful fur people ter
overdress; but must say that ancients
carried economy ter an extreme. -
Washington Star.
Mr.. lie Fanu, in his stories of Irish
life, tells this one. "A neighbor of
mine said that a very fine horse he
had bought few days previously had
gone lame. What is the matter with
him?' asked Mr.. T. Il am greatly
afraid he has got the vernacular, said
he (of course he meant navicular).
Dear me, said T, Il never heard of
any quadruped having that disease ex-
cept Balaam's ass"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-04-19
NUMBER THIRTEEN.
The superstitIous Young sportsmen at
the Restaurant.

The superstitIous Young sportsmen at
the Restaurant.
An illustration of the superstitions
held by that class of the community
known as the sporting fraternity was
forcibly given the other evening at a
well-known restaurant in the central
portion of the city. A young man, who
figured largely at Gloucester during
the palmy days of the races there, went
into the restaurant and ordered a
meal. The plump and rosy waitress
who served him dropped a saucer and
il shivered to pieces on the floor. The
young man looked up and at once saw
or imagined he saw the cause of the
mishap. A badge on the waitress
breast bore the symbol of ill-luck-No.
IS. THAT girl cannot wait on me-"
said the customer excitedly to the
manager who came up to inquire the
cause of the disturbance. See, her
number is 13-bad luck every way"
'Oh, that's all right" soothingly
said the restaurant man, as he calmly
beekoned for another girl. "You
mustn't mind that That girl is not
only No. Il, but she lives at No. 1913
Caldwell street, and this, her place of
employment, is No 49," The young
man, deathly pale, forgot his hunger
and fed from the place.-Philadelphia
Record