The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-09-09

His skin is yellow probably its his liv-
err His gall is just as lively as in the
good old days when the boys, as 1 have
heard it stated. used to charge him with
soda.
Ralph Suppose a fellows best girl gets
mad when ne asks for a kiss?
CurtiS-Take it without asking.
Ralph-Suppose she gets mad then?
Curtis-Then he's got. come other fell
lows girl.-Brooklyn Life
Praise undeserved is satire in Disguise
Broadhurst. What past grand master
in the art of satire is the editor of the
San Francisco Argus.
What do our Protection friends think
of the project of importing a candidate
for senatorial honors from California,
when the home market is SO abundantly
supplied?
$50 now L lay me down to sleep
That was lovely waltz. the last
1 pray the Lord my soul to keep
oh, dear, how sad L am, tits past
If should die before / wake
And, George, 1 could have kissed him
I pray the Lord my soul to take
This pillow could hug him SO"
Tx
1t is said that more married men get
through the pearly gates into the city of
the New Jerusalem than single ones. st.
answered: 'These arc they that come up
out of great tribulations. '-Ex.
I've rowed her all the afternoon,
With , oars in time and 1(. hearts in tune;
] know what 1 shall have to pay;
Although it was only bliss today
Tomorrow twill be blisters.
Judge
Two Republican papers have been call
ing each other liars and ScoundrelS. They
may take the fiattering JUNCTION to their
souls that there is more than a faint pos
sibility that both are right.
You may talk about your editors who sit
And try to boss the whole machine and
put on lots of airs,
And seek to make the people think it's
what they have to say
That keeps the business on the move and
makes the paper pay;
But don't you ever tt ink it, for the whole
truth simply is,
The editors not in it with that huge con-
ceit Of his,
For there's only one essential in the whole
newspaper pan
Success depends alone upon the advertis-
ing man.
Nixon Waterman, in Chicago Journal.
Able Editor "a resident of a prohibition
town)-Please give me a pint of alcohol.
wish to use it in picking a large worm.
Druggist fafter filling the order)-By the
way, what kind of a worm do you propose
to pickle?
Able Editor (secreting the bottle in his
inside pockeO-A book-worm. 1 am he
Printers Ink.
Tissus microbicides, warranted to keep
cut the most persevering bacillus, are be
ing sold by some OF the chief Partisan
shops. Health Commissioner Beatty
should procure a few and put 'em on
guard at those flowing wells.
Politics are funny ticks, and Judge
Standrod of Idaho is thorough politi-
clan. For years he has been upon the
bench upholding the injustice of the
''test oath" and refusing to naturalize
any one who had ever been baptized.
But now the Mormon vote is olsen
thralled-it will be counted this fall; con-
sequently Judge Standrod who is a can
didate for reelection, partook of the sac
rament at meeting of Latter-day Saints
in Paris, Idaho, week ago last Sunday.
''Times be changed and Standrod be a
politlcian.-Logan Journal.
Standrod is simply on a par with his
political brethren. When it was general
ly admitted that Utah was Democratic