The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-05-14
MY SUICIDE.
Yes, I have wished to die.

1t was just after receiving the assur-
ance that Amelie was false to me.
Was 1t indeed Amelie-this perfd-
ious coquette? Only think of IL She
held my life in her little hand, and / am
not now even sure of her name. Young
men, this may astonish you, but you
will learn better in time.
/ was young then-quite young, and
I no sooner learned Of my misfortune
than / determined to end my life. My
first intention was to shoot myself ON
her stairway, but I bethought me of the
crowds that would see me there and of
how Henriette-was not that her name?
would ridicule me, SO my amour pro-
pre- came to my rescue.
"No," / said TO myself, there must
be no excitement, nonoise. The wound
ed bird conceals himself behind q tuft
of grass Thus I wish to die--in some
corner-isolated, lost, forgotten"
I'm this eleg1ac frame OF mind I took
the $3.50 train for Melun. It deposited
me at dusk, about 100 steps from the
Golden Lion well kept hotel, with
airy rooms, good beds and an excellent
table.
'FWhat does monsieur w1sh?'' asked q
little waitress whom ] have since found
TO be very pretty.
Nothing.
] was not hungry. I went to bed Ny
sleep was itful, and every instant l
thought I saw Victorine-I believe her
name was Victorine-pass by ON the
arm of my rival
Then ] struck out with my fist against
the wall, the iron bedstead or the mar
BILE top tale.
Twas much bruised next morning, but
what mattered it, since I was so soon to
die? ~
/ went in quest of q rope. I had be-
lieved formerly that, when one wished
to hang oneself, nothing could be easier
than to find o rope. A sad mistake. In
my search I traversed the entire hotel
to no purpose. The little waitress
the one whom I have since found La SO
pretty-demanded Of me:
But what does monsieur wish TO do
with q roper"
AT last, with a length Of hemp I'm my
pocket, ! left the hotel and made my
way to a spot in the woods where 7 had
often been before. / found here, behind
an inextricable tangle Of foliage, the
same inviting retreat where ] had once
fingered to dream. There could certain
ly exist no more appropriate spot for
the deed / now contemplated.
While walking along I had thought
of Berthe possibly her name was
Berthe-and ] cursed her with all my
soul. Then / looked at my rope I meas
ured it. Itested its strength. It was not
the sort of a rope / wished. II appeared
to be too short and too large around. 4
was vexed. You can scarcely imagine
how an annoyance Of this sort may in
fuence ones ideas.
And here was another vexation. Upon
reaching the chosen spot / was disagreea-
bly, surprised to find it occupied by am
other. A person, with his back turned
to me, was engaged in fastening q rope
to q branch above his head-the very
branch which / had selected for my
owl.
what are you doing there?' I de-
manded>o ( him.
He faced me suddenly.
What concern Of yours is it?'' he
asked.
"You think perhaps that I do not di-
vine your intention, " / cried.
And If / wish to kill myself that is
altogether my affair.
kill yourself?"
looked at him. He seemed to be an
amiable young fellow, with an open
~countenance, sympathetic eyes and an
interesting pallor.
$50 you wish to kill yourself" And
suspecting him TO be the victim of an
unhappy love affair, / added, About
some worthless woman?"
"Sirl' he cried.
Poor idiotp' / thought. Lovers are
all alike-he defends her even yet"
The stranger was silent.
win You permit me TO give you q
bit Of advice?' I inquired. Leave your
rope where it isl had noticed that
it was better than mine-"go home.
You will thank me for this after
awhile"
He shook his head
81 want to die"
Don't prepare any poignant regrets
for the morrow" / continued, with
sweet insistence. .Irepeat what / have
said After yon are buried you win be-
moan your precipitancy, and then it will
be too late.
You say this because you do not
know what has happened TO me"
"Bnt I suspect"
mo, you cannot have ' q suspi-
cion. Oh, SIR, q woman whom I adored,
for whom
And he told me his story. Incredible
coincidence It was absolutely my own
This comparison set me thinking. sYouz
silence shows me your approval, . said
Charles. i had just learned his narne te
be Charles
mot at all, III cried. I did not wish
20 appear ike q weathercock. There
Id nothing I'm your history which iusti.
, 6es you in having recourse to the end oi
o rope.
Charles had begun 10 interest me.
Listen. my friend, you are q Of youl
81 ca $500 AZZ -