davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
At THE SIGNING.
1t Was n Solemn Occasion, But n Few
Jokes Could Not He Suppressed.

1t Was n Solemn Occasion, But n Few
Jokes Could Not he Suppressed.
The signing OF tho declaration OF
independence was solemn act The
signers were subjects of King George.
and their act was treason. IL the
king could have caught them he
would have hung them, every one,
and this they knew; but according
to the traditions that have come
down to us, this knowledge did NOT
deter certain of them from relieving
the solemnitv OF the occasion with
the natural flow of their wit and hu-
NOR. The remarks attributed to
them are not exactly authenticated
by history, but they are too good
not TO be believed. 1t is said that
when John Hancock affixed his bold
autograph he remarked, 1.-The Eng
lishmen will have no difficulty in read
ing that, that when Franklin signed
he said, "Now, we must all hang
together or we will hang separate
ly," and that Charles Carroll, OF
Carrollton, when asked why he wrote
his place of residence replied thai
there was another Charles Carroll
and he didn't want them to hang the
wrong man.
The most enthusiastic advocate OF
the great measure and one who led
the debate in It's support was John
Adams OF Massachusetts, and whom
the declaration was adopted he
wrote to his wife in these prophetic
words: This will be the most mem
orable epoch in the history OF
America; celebrated by descending
generations as the greatest anni~
versary festival, commemorated as
the day of deliverance by solemn
acts Of devotion to Almighty God;
solemnized with pomps, shows,
games, sports, guns, bells, bontires
and illuminations from one end OF
the continent to the other, from this
time forward, forever
OF all the eloquent words uttered
regarding the declaration of inde-
pendence by the orators OF the gen.
erations which have succeeded its
inception no moro impressive sem
tence was ever spoken than one pro-
nounced by Ralph waldo Emerson
in an address delivered in Boston
during the civil war. Referring to
contemptuous characterization OF
a certain political speaker no said;
I'VE have been told that the declar-
alton OF independence Is a glittering
generality; tits an eternal ubiquity."
Among Americas later statesmen
no one entertained n more excellent
regard for the declaration, or moro
persistently emphasized its import
ant relation TO legislation, than
Charles Sumner. He always held
that tho constitution should be in
terpreted in the spiriC OF the declar-
alton. He said: Tho declaration Of
Independence has q supremacy grand
err than that Of the constitution.
Every word in the constitution 10
subordinate to the declaration. The
declaration precedcs the constitu-
tion in time and is moro elevated in
character The constitution is On
earthly body, II you please; the dec
laration OF independence Is the.
very soul itself"
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
A Drug ON tho Market.

Here they are! All male birds
and good singers! Only seventy five
cents each; dirt cheap, because
they're a drug in the marketr' cried
a man in the German quarter OF New
York, with a dozen Gagged canariee
at his feet on the curb The price
was really about half the usual rate,
and the hawker explained that Ger
man canaries had, been overimported-
One dealer had received 5000 birds,
and many others had got in large
numbers The bird fanciers would
not buy because hard times made
trade dull. and prices had to come
down. He had already been two
days Offering birds dirt cheap in n
region where canaries are dearly
helovel
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

said Ben after one of these boastfM
statements.
"YouY" cried Jim. looking Ben over
rather contemptuously! ''you--a baby"
I'm not baby" retorted Ben, flush
ing to the roots of his hair.
Wall" drawled jim, "mebbe not In
years, sonny, but when 1t comes to
handlin' wild beasts of the forest you
are n mere infant"
Ben felt these insults keenly, and
longed for an opportunity TO show that
he was not baby. He little dreamed
how near at hand was his chance.
The trumpet suddenly rang out =
note of warning, and all eyes were
turned excitedly towards a clump Of
underbrlsh not ten feet away from
Jim and Ben, in the midst OF which
some object was stirring.
He's in therew shouted dozen
voices. Rifles were levelled at the
| thicket, and fifty shots were fred.
Bruin rushed forth from his retreat
growing with rage and pain. jim
Busby was directly in his path, and
with one blow of his huge paw he
knocked him down and poinced upon
| him.
| A wild clamor arose. Shouts and
cries of direction filed the air, and the
trumpeter blew frightfully upon his
horn, as IL that would mend matters.
Still the bear stood over Jim growing
and making ready TO tear him to pieces.
Then it was that Ren Tempest, hunt
er, rose to the occasion. While strong
men were shrieking and dancing Wild
ly about, having completely lost their
heads, the baby" of the party, every
nerve in his young body quivering with
excitement, and his little face as pale
as death, stole softly up to the huge,
growing brown mass, and putting the
muzZle of his rifle Just behind the left
shoulder, shut his eyes and fired.
The next thing Ben knew his father
had his arms round him, and was pat
ting him gently and saying, There,
there. sonny" For Ben, completely
unnerved. was crying like baby, while
stretched at his feet lay the big bear
dead.
What n hero Ben was, to be sure!
and Jim Busby, quite as unnerved, and
trembling as the baby" could only
falter out his thanks 10 his bOyish pre-
server.
The great carcass Of the bear was
dragged to the nearest farm house and
arrangements were quickly completed
for the last scene in this little drama.
1t was customary to place tie bear on
all fours in n large lumber wagon,
with n rail placed across the vehicle,
Just under the bears chin, another
under his middle, and still another
under his hind paws. Thus supported
the bear looked rs If alive, and was
borne in state through the country lanes
and along the streets of Brandon, the
neighboring village. The slayer OF the
bear always rode on the seat with the
driver, and to-day this was Ben TEN.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
compnrative Height of women.

Some medical men have been taking
measurements OF the height Of women
In Frarce. England, and America, and
announce that the English woman is
the tallest, and the American next.
The average height of the French wom-
an Is IT. / In. The American women
are nearly two inches taller, and the
women OF Great Britain half an inch
taller than they. But American wom-
en- weigh slightly more than either of
the others. and II Is said that their
Sverage weight Is about III poundA
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
They Have Weak Lungs.

For q short distance lion or tiger
can outrun a man and can equal the
speed of fast horse, but they lose
their wind at the end of half a mile
at the most. They have little endur-
ance, and are remarkably weak in
lung power. Their strength is the
kind which is capable of terrific
effort for short time. 1t would take
six men TO hold lion down, even
after his legs were tied so that he
could not use his paws
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

down to the farms TO steal sheep and
demolish the cornfields, for bears love
sweet corn almost as well as they love
honey. When the news ran like wild
fire along the country side that bear
had been seen in the neighborhood,
everybody, man or boy, who could
carry a gun was up in arms at
once. Schoolmasters dismissed their
pupils for the day, merchants closed
their stores, even the clergymen left
their studies, all bent upon killing the
huge enemy that was ravaglnG stock
and crops.
Ben Tempest lived right at he foot Of
the mountains in weather beaten
wooden farm house. His peo-
pie were hard working and very poor
Ben wore n homespun suit and went
barefooted nine months in the year.
But he was n stout-hearted, coura-
geous. manly chap, who did his
best 10 help his father in clearing up
the farm aud to assist his patient, toll
ing mother in her work about the
house.
Ben's father had little flock Of
sheep Of which the boy was very fond
He never wearied Of tending and car
ing for them. The lambs all knew
him, and when he went to feed them
ran towards him uttering little cries
OF pleasure and taking the food from
his hand. You who have pets Of your
own can fancy possibly how Ben felt
when one morning going into the
meadow with their breakfast he found
that two Of his prettiest lambs were
gone Looking about he saw n great
print OF an enormous paw which told
printof an enormous paw which told
it's own frightful story. Poor Ben
was quite white and i'll as he hurried
to the house, and, meeting his father,
stammered out, "A bear, pa, bear" !"
He then could say no more for his
| grief.
In less time than it takes to tell you,
Mr.. Tempesthad saddled Bess, the
| brown mare. Ben had tumbled into
the saddle and was away, riding rs
| fast as the mare could trOt, and calling
out to every man he met and at every
farm house door he passed, "A bear!
| A bear"
No one needed n second summons.
Farmers left their ploughs and took
| their rifles, and seeing who was the
courier set out at once for Mr.. Tenn
| pest ldIuls bg ~ " Nloth NhC NhOAC
country was reused. and before noon
rcinforcemcnts arrived from Brandon
seminary, for the faculty closed the
school TO allow the young men to join
the hunt.
This was the plan Of warfare. The
hunters formed an enormous circle,
which completely surrounded the sec
ton of the country in which the
beast was believed TO be. The men
stood only a few feet apart so that il
bruin should attempt TO dash through
the circle at any point he would surely
lie killed by a shot from right or left.
The bear, once he discovered that pur-
suit was at hand, would naturally
make for the mountains, so on the
curve Of the circle nearest the noun
tains the force of the hunters formed q
closer wall than at any other place.
At the signal, trumpet call, the cir
Gle began to close in. growing smaller
constantly, al marching towards q
common center, in order to hem in the
bear.
1t was nearly 1 o'clock before the
circle began its march. The living
wall moved steadily over meadows
fields, brooks and thickets, every man
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
A surprIse N eading.

The newest idea in society is tho
"surprise" Wedding Invitations
are sent out FOR dinner party and
when the dinner is over the parson
Is introduced In "a few we'll chosen
words" the bridegroom takes the
guests into his confidence, the bride
blushingly takes her place and tho
marriage is solemnized Without. fur.
ther ceremony.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
An Argument.

Mamma-Now, Andrew,y you mustn't
eat that candy, because it will destroy
your appetite for dinner.
Andrew-I don't think so, mamma.
Mamma-Why don't you think so,
dear?
Andrew-Because, mamma, haven't
got n bit of appetite just now.-Har-
per's Young People.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

A French lady of very elegant figure
was recently asked why she always
had such enormously stout servants.
Her answer was characteristic: ITO
prevent their wearing my clothes
when am away from home"
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

sect 1t derives it's name from the
fact that it constructs raft of matted
leaves and pieces of wood, which it
uses to pursue its prey on the water.
Raft spiders travel in fours. They
make their oars out of twigs and
generally row a thirty-two stroke,
although they have been known at
times to increase the speed to thirty
six
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
mA Cav school Rnc."

A gay school bag can be made out
Of ticking, if it is new and stiff. Cut
piece large enough when folded to
hold your largest book and slate, the
stripes running up and down or
crossways, as you may prefer. Work
all the white stripes with cat-stitch
or feather stitch in red marking cot
ton. Line the whole piece with
plain ticking, and across the middle
line, where the piece is folded to
make the bag, put two rows of stitch
ing about an inch apart Into this n
lath or window-curtain stick Is run to
make the whole firm and prevent its
sagging when the books are carried
in it Sew up the sides firmly, and
put row of stitching around the top,
in.o which two sticks can be slipped,
one on each side OF the bag. .-Harper's
Young People.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

The ID. & C. annual dollar excursion
TO Cleveland will leave Detroit Satur-
day evening, September 20, on palace
steamer City of Detroit, arriving home
at $3.50 Monday morning.
This gives the entire day in Cleve
land, and is the cheapest and pleasant
est trip ever offered Detroit ezeur-
sionists.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

Thrives on good food and sunshine,
with plenty of exercise in the open
air. Her form glows with health and
her face blooms with its beauty. If
her system needs the cleansing action
of n laxative remedy, she uses the gen.
tie and pleasant liquid laxative Syrup
of Figs.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
Oueer Books.

The British museum has books
written on bricks, tiles, oyster shells,
bones and fiat stones, together with
manuscripts on bark, on ivory, leather,
parchment papyrus, lead, iron, cop
per and wood. 1t has three copies of
the bible written on the leaves of the
fan naim
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

Fogg-oh, you are too hard on
Flimsey. He has his faults, but there
is one good thing about him. Dodds
And pray what is that? Fogg-He
cyl can't recall it just at this mo-
ment.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28

alert, constantly on the watch 10 diC-
cover big brown mass moving in the
forest Ben was close by his father.
Though only twelve, he was hardy and
strong. and had earnestly begged the
privilege OF going along with the men.
He had a small rifle, and was very
fair shot for so young boy.
Ben's neighbor on the left was tall,
brawny youth OF sixteen, who was In
clined TO brag somewhat over his skill
In handling a rifle. 'Jest let him poke
his old brown nose out Of bush," re-
marked Jim Busby. "an' I'll teach him
better manners than ter be a comm
down here of them mountings ter kill
sheep"
I'D like TO be the one to shoot him"
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
81 to Cleveland and Return.

II is estimated that the emperor of Germany
has travelled 1880 miles during the past year.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
The raft Spider.

The raft spider" found in Terra
del Fuego, is a most extraordinary in
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
Tho Modern Bea

Last year 1900 900 gallons OF beer were drank
IN the United States.
The Yale expositor., 1894-09-28
NO MORE GRAY HAIR

JRUCELINE, the only genuine remedy for re-
storing gray hair TO its natural color; no dye and
barmess. Thousands OF Testimonials. 100 per
bottle. Druggists, or BRUCELiNE Co, 65 Wall ST. MY.
Treatise on the hair sent on application, FREE.
The advocate., 1894-12-12

pus has grown until even many Of
our bankers are afraid Of it. They
have recently felt it's squeezing
power and some have succumbed to
it's effects. The amount of money re-
qulrsd to feed iT is something fright
ful, and as it's American allies who
share in it's profits directly are few
in number, it is possible that they
may be compelled to join those who
are working Cleveland, Carlisle and
the congress for the establishment OF
q home monopoly in currency. It
will be noticed that all the different
schemes being talked Of publicly, In
cluding Clevslsnd's, are calculated
to give the bankers control Of the
currency, 80 it makes little difference
to the people which one is successful.
With any OF them in vogue the Coun-
try at large will get the worst of it
in time, just as il has with the pres
ent system.
The advocate., 1894-12-12

CONGRESS- should not fail to notice
what is attracting the attention of all
the boards of trade and high-toned
benevolent societies, viz: that the
Turks are imposing on the Armeni-
ans; that there is serious trouble be-
tween China and Japan, and that a
number Of other heather countries
need looking after. Never mind the
few millions Of United States citi
zens who are in distress.
The advocate., 1894-12-12

VERY few OF the alleged phllan-
thropists of to-day ever get in touch
with the masses Of poor people. They
20 out looking for chances to bestOw
their charity, and they come in con-
tact with the hundreds who have de-
generated into mere beggars, while
the thousands Of more ''self-respect-
ing" poor are undiscovered. These
are the people who want employ
ment, not aims; wages, not free soup;
Justice, not charity, and they are not
telling their troubles to the proies-
sional philanthrOpist and alms-giver.
The advocate., 1894-12-12

TINS "best banking system the
world ever saw" which stump ora
tors have been SO long telling rs Of,
is about to be ruthlessly destroyed
and replaced by new systtm. Why
so? It appears to be movement
started by American bankers and
moneyed men who want to establish
q money power in the United States
that will be free from the foreign
money power. The European octo-
The advocate., 1894-12-12

THE snti-snarchistic bill to prevent
the importation of anarchists is again
befors congress. If it could be
amended so as to provide for the ex-
portation of the red. mouthed variety
Of law. breakers the republican vote
in Kansas could be reduced one
third.
The advocate., 1894-12-12
POPULIsT DOCTRINES.

r. E. Heller, in his second article
this week, makes some statements
that should not go unchsllenged
While they are mere statements, un-
supported by fact or argument,
silence respecting them might be
construed as acquiescence. We shall
leave to others the tss K Of contesting
his general line of argument if they
wish to do so, merely referring to
few points, and one especially re-
lsting to an editorial uttersnce Of
the ADVOCATE. It must not be In
ferred, however, that refrsining from
further comment implies acceptance
Of that which is not contested Mr..
Heller speaks for himself only. He
says:
II q farmer is out Of debt il is wholly
immaterial to him whether he sells his
wheat for 81 or 81 per bushel, for he makes
his purchases in like proportion.
Mr.. Heller will look a long time
for a practical farmer who has Kept
figures upon this subject whose ac-
tusl experience will corroborate this
view. The ADVOCATE has several
times published comparative state
ments Of the sale Of farm products at
the reduced prices prevailing in re-
cent years and the prices that pre-
vailed in the '6Vs and Of the pur-
chsses possible to be made with the
proceeds in each case and under the
differing conditions; and that state
ment shows the error Of MIR. Heller's
assumption. He overlooks q very
important item in such q calculation,
also ia the fact that while the prices
Of products decline as the volume Of
money diminishes, no such CORE
spending decline takes place in taxes
or rates of transportation.
He says again:
That nation which permits it's currency tC
fuotuAte in value the least, and keeps il uT
to the highest possible standard, Other
things being equal, has the best financial
system and 10 the most prosperous.
Does he intend to say here, that in
order to avoid a fuctustiDg currency
we must have q small volume? And
does he not know that all history
controverts the assumption that
scanty volume of money contributes
to the welfare of the people' He re-
fers to the finances Of England, buI
he has read English history unproft'
ably If he has not learned that the
English people are suffering from
The advocate., 1894-12-12
S1.OO PER YEAR.
ADVERTISING RATES

Single Insertion: Display matter, IS cents
per agate line, IA lines to inch). Reading
notices, 80 cents per line, count lines)
Copy or electro should reach this Office Mon.
day morning to insure insertion in following
issue.
Electros must have metal base, 1Sem columns
(916 inches).
The advocate., 1894-12-12

the exercise Of that preEogstivs.
He seems to be like many another
refOrmer who has become so sb-
sorbed in one idea that he can see
the force of no other. We can best
illustrate the position of these men
by comparison. Suppose a mod
ern skilled mechanic to be sent to re-
pair an old machine constructed q
century or more ago, and adapt it to
the mechanical needs of to-day. He
first makes q thorough examination
Of the machine. He finds that while
it may have been the best that was
possible to be made in ITS day, and
while it may have served q fair pur-
pose under the conditions then ex-
listing, by the light Of modern inven-
tion it appears never to have been
properly constructed, in the first
pace, for perpetual use. He finds
further that, from time to time, there
have been many attachments made to
it not contemplated in the original
design, until it has not only become
cumbersome but complicated aud ILL
adapted even to the purpose for
which it was originally constructed.
While he is studying how ne can
utilize the material in the machine
in the production of a new one en-
bod, ing the latest discoveries and in.
ventlons, and the highest degree Of
modern mechanical skill, q bystsnder
suggests that he only needs to re-
place one shaft with a new one and
the thing will go all right. Another
says 1t is not the shaft but certain
pinion I hat needs to be replaced, and
so on through all the different parts
of the machine: each advisor dis
cevers one thing to be wrong and
suggests that in remedyiDg that, the
machine will be in perfect repair, or
at least that done the machine itself
will do the rest Of the repairing and
everything will be all right. The
skilled mechanic, however, discovers
that the whole machine must be over
hauled and practically made over
new, Incorporating in its construc'
tion the latest improvements and
adapting 1t to the changed conditions
Of the times.
Now this is the precise condition Of
the old government machine. 1t was
originally constructed under condi-
tions that have been OutgroWn There
are manifold attachments now con"
nected with it that were never thought
Of by it's projectors Altogether
it has become complicated AID cum
bersome and it fails to serve the pur-
pose for which governments should
exist. It cannot be adopted to pres
ent conditions and present needs by
changing a wheel here or putting in
q new shaft there, but must be over
hauled and reconstructed to conform
to modern conditions and the In
creased enlightenment Of the age.
One other statement of Mr.. Heller