Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-09-06
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

We don't believe a long-haired man
knows anything more about medicine
than short-haired man.-Atchison Globe
a petrifed man has been found in
Wisconsin. 1t is probably the body of
man who fell ''stone dead. "-Siftings.
A bill taking alcohol used in the arts
off the free list has passed. This puts
a plain whisky and the most elaborate
cocktail on all Philadelphia Ledg-
err.
-Admirer-"Where did you get all this
wonderful strength" Famous Strong
Mani was a carver in boarding house
for three years. Syracuse Post.
First Horse-'I see woman is hold
ing the reins over you. Is she driving you
to drink Second Horse (despairingly)-
L haven't the remotest idea.'-Detroit
Tribune.
-."Now l know why the milk we get
here is so weak" said the agricultural
editor to the farmer with whom he was
boarding; Il just this minute saw you
give those COWS water to drink. -Phila-
delphia Record.
-Ethel-'What made people think they
were husband and wife?" Frank-'Why,
whenever he related a good story she al
ways interrupted him by saying he'd left
out something. '-TidBits.
-Binaway-" land young Blower, the fell
low who was always boasting that he
would yet do something to arouse the
country; what ever became of him p
Stadehome-"M Manufacturing alarm clocks
the last we heard. Buffalo Courier.
-Laura-''M Mamma, when / asked Mr..
Goodcatch to button my glove last night
his hand trembled so that it took him a
Mrs. Figg-''I don't know. Perhaps he
might have been out late the night be-
fore. indianapolis Journal.
-Sergeant-"What was the trouble
over there? 1t sounded as though some
body was being murdered Patrolman-
ooh, twas only a new lodger who was
not onto the combination of the folding
bed in his room, and the thing doubled up
with him in it."-Boston Traveller
The donkey carrier three-quarters of
his own weight long distances. This
proves beyond all doubt that he is a don
key.-Boston Transcript.
A Heavy Strain-"And Jack says
hen break the engagement if | insist on
he doesn't love ou."-Life.
-Prophetic..a...Has she given you any
she will get all of her fathers money
when he dies. "-Lifes Calendar.
George, father has failed" chats
just like him! | told you all along, dar-
ling, that he was going to do all he could
to keep us from marrying. '-Life's Cal
endar.
-Radbourn-'I hear that O1cott has
been discharged from the police force.
Do you know what for?,' Chesney-
Yes. Refusing to accept a bribe.''-
Brooklyn Life
The Biddleby Family at Newport
(they battle at Easton's beach).-Mr. Bid
dleby-" Say, Emmaline. these bathin'
suits hain't no pertection; I'm wet clear
gh!'-Harper' Bazaar.
-Seashore Morality -Dan-'Whats
the matter, old man: Can't you find
YOUR bathing suit? Van-"Gad! I'm
not trying to- I'm looking for a better
one Kate Fields Washington.
-Physician-"You must avoid all ex-
element, avoid beer or wine entirely,
and drink only water But, doctor, the
idea of drinking water excites me more
than anything else. ''-Fliegende Blaetter
An artist being asked, rs sculpture
difficult?' answered.: why, bless you,
no. You have only to take a block of
marble and a chisel. and knock off all
the marble you don't want lid Bits.
Minnie She was once engaged to the
it off" May-"Why?" Minnie-"She
had been under the impression that the
alliance would make her a dowager count
ess."-Vogue.
-Jimmy-"Wha is this moral coura &c
that the Sunday school teacher was tellin
us about?' Tommy-''As near as I kin
guess it, it's the kind of courage that
kids has that's afraid to fight. '-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Mamma engaged in correcting John
ny)-"You know / hate to do it, Johnny.
| sympathize with you, but - John
ny-"Haven't there been enough sympa-
thetic strikes without your beginning?'
Boston Transcript.
you don't seem to get along very
we'll with yer old friend?' NAV. He
got ter thinl1in' he knowed too much.
When 1 told i'm he orter put his mind in
a gymnasium an give is voice vacation,
he got mad. Washington Star.
Idle Ike-'Walk right by dat Teller
sellin shoestrings widout noticin' inn
Lazy Luke-''Why? Idle Ike-"Cuz he
amt recognized by our set no more. y
Lazy Luke-"How's dat?' Idle 1ke-'Dis
is de third time dat mans been caught
tryin' ter earn his livin'. brooklyn Life.
-Farmer-''James have you watered
the cows this EVENING"" New Man from
City-"No, sir: not for two days
"What?'' Il heard you say day before
yesterday, sir, that they wouldn't be dry
for about six weeks yet, sir. Plain Deal