Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-09-20
PrTh AND POINT.

-He---ssHas your father been vacciJ
mated yet?" She-'.No; he is going to
be tomorrow" He-.Ten him to have
it done on the foot."-N. Y. Sun.
AT the Butcher's.-'sWhy did you
put up that large mirror near the door?-
ITO prevent servant girls from watch
ing the scales. Blatter.
-Wilton-ssSo Penner's latest novel
failed to catch the public as he expect
ed it would. ANY particular reason?"
Walton-"Er-itw was q detective story"
Boston Courier.
-Lawyer-"Did he.call you liar in
so many words?" Client-''Well, he
called me weather report" Lawyer
That is sufficient; you are sure to get
damages.
How did you come to break with
Miss Sweetlips? You always said she
was good as gold" Eyes; but got ac-
quainted with girl who had the gold"
Boston Transcript.
-Summitt-''Miss Gayley seems
thoroughly imbued with the idea that
youth will tell" Bottome-"Yes; you
see, she has three or four small broth
ers. buffalo Courier.
MI. Mannattan->DO You wear
ear-muffs in Boston when it is very
cold?" Mr.. Bunker Hnl-'.Certainly
we do" Mr.. Manhattan-''Then the
streets can not be so very narrow after
all. "-Siftings.
PLY must avoid all
excitement, avoid beer or wine entire
ly, and drink only water" but, doc
tor, the idea of drinking water excites
me more than anything settle
gende Batter.
-Call-''What is the matter with
Fido that you are watching him so
closely?" Charlie-''Cause mamma
said your hat was enough to make a
dog laugh, and wanted to see him do
it. "-Inter-Ocean-
First Cannibal-"A French mer-
chairman has come in sight" Second
Cannibal-''I trust there are some Par
isians on board. They pride them
selves on their good taste, don't you
know."-Detroit Tribune.
-Jimmy-"What is this moral cour-
age that the Sunday-school teacher
| was tellin' us ahout?" Tommy-''As
near as kin guess it, it's the kind of
| courage that kids has that's afraid to
fight. Journal.
you don't know how much your
book has helped me. Mr.. Scribbs." Mr..
Scribbs-s'You f1atter me-" 81 mean
less / go get your book and inside Of
fifteen minutes I'll be asleep"
Patient (complainingly)-'T can't
make out a word of this prescription,
Doctor" Physician (grimlyl->'Never
mind. You'll find my handwriting per-
fectly legible, I'll warrant you, when
send in my bill. Journal.
| On the Road Manager (reading)-
1.-THE egg product of the United States
amounts to eight hundred and fifty
million dozens" Old Actor reflective
ly)-'I've thought sometimes it was
more than that."-Detroit Free Press
-'Yoa don't seem to get along very
we'll with yer old friend?" Nav He
got ter thinkin' he knowed too much.
When l told i'm he orter put his mind
in gymnasium an give is voice va
cation, he got mad:%Washingto4
Star.
Eligible Millionaire ~ wonder
why girl always shuts her eyes when
ERA fellow kisses her." Fair Aris-
tocrat-'I never noticed anything Of
the sort, but suppose it depends upon
the kind of face the fellow has."-Pick-
Me-Up.
-Rambler-"That Bartlett girl
thinks a great deal of me. When I
told her was going around the world.
she asked me to be sure and write her
from every place / visited" Wilter-
eyes; she is collecting postage stamps"
| IN. Y. Sun.
-Will-''Why do you always carry
those corks with you when you go to
call on your fiancee?" Jack-"Well,
you see, she lives in fiat, and I use
! them for stopping up the speaking
tubes when am bidding her goodnight
in the vestibule. IN. Y. Herald.