River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-11-08
HE WAS DECLINED
The Signal Service Played a Mean Tric
and Left Him in HE Cold


He stood at the corner of Woodward
and Michigan avenues the other day
when the wind came down off Lake ST.
Clair with cold edge to it. He was
leaning on little rattan cane until il
described half circle under the pres
sure He had on an ethereal-looking
white straw hat and a light summer
suit, and his general appearance was
fairly hit off by a newsboy when he
cried out;
"All you fellers come on and see a
gum-drop walkin' around on his hind
legs"
The gum-drop shivered as he posed.
1t was fall overcoat weather. and he
was clad for 100 degrees in the shade.
Very embarrassing TO be caught up
this way, doncher knaw?n he ex-
planned TO the onloolzers in weary
way. Its all the fault of the signal
office, doncher see? Predicted a hot
wave, be-Gawge. and it failed TO mate
rialize. Came down from me suburban
domicile prepared for a sultry day, and
bless me heart If ! haven't nearly per-
ished with cold, We knaw."
'sSee him shiver." called gamiu.
''Shivah. OF course | shivahr' re-
piled the weary man, as he INDUCED in
shake. Il am no volcano that |
shouldn't shivah under this sudden
change. Bless me, but III see the peo-
pie in the signal Office and give 'em a bit
of me mind for this! Nevah depended
on their predictions befoh, and nevah
win again, doncher knawr'
Here's your high pressure in the
Mississippi valley!' shouted another
boy.
That's another point I wish to touch
on, we knaw," replied the gum-drop
What do knaw about high pressure,
low pressure, increased cloudiness,
storm centers and all that? / see by
the report that it is to DO warmer,
doncher knaw,-much warmer-and
accordingly ! prepare for the change.
In the language of the Greek | am ky
foshed-which means that l am left
boxed up-put in hole doncher
lknawr'
He shivered again-a first-class. high
toned SILVER, such as a nabob might be
proud of, and continued:
when a fellah has his collah and
tie and trousers and hat TO look out for
his mind is fully occupied, doncher see?
He cawn't be poling his nose into the
newspaper and increasing his burdens
By trying to understand what the sig
nal officer means by the Ohio valley,
low pressure, nigh pressure, humidity,
and all that. / wouldn't think of il,
you see-no fellah would think OF it.
l. 81. L. Al
signal officer that have been kytoshed
done up-laid on the shelf, doncher
knaw?'
"Play us a chune wild yer teeth"
screamed a chunk of bootblack.
THE ideah of deeeiving a fellah like
this!" continued the victim, as the
wind swept down Monroe avenue and
raised another crop of goose-pimples
on his legs. 81 think l shall sue for
damages, doncher see? | shall, no
doubt, be Frustrated by this exposure,
be-Gawge! and it's question whether
my system will recovah from the
shock. If don't ! may go off in a
week, doncher knaw? And if it does l
may lingah along for years, you sec
lingah along such a shattered wreck
that no tailor can ever fit me trowsers,
again, We knaw!"
There goes another shiver," called
two or three boys in chorus as the thin
clad form was again agitated.
Certainly l shivah," he replied. 81
was waiting here to see a friend who
might lend me an overcoat, We knaw,
but he's been switched off, the same as
this hot wave. Me play is to proceed
homeward with all possible dispatch
and to imbibe some gin and watah,
and then write to the papahs that the
signal bureau is a delusion, doncher
knaw? Be-Gawge! I'll quite break
up the business befoh let go, doncher
see?"
And he lifted his little cane off the
ground and foated up Woodward av
enue like man who would never rest
until he had the signal officers scalp
at his belt-Detroit Free Press.