Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-04-24
SOCIETY UP TO DATE,
"Thc Queer Things We Sex, end The
Queer Things We Hear"
WHEN wEGooUrlN "SoCIETYr
fseudo Claimants for Family Fa,ne-TurksS
Heads That Look More Like Amcrf.
can Indians.
Correspondence of the Dispatch.)

society. ne ulikHt ba'c "~'
hatred, malice. and all uncharitabiehess'
and not been far out OF the way.
With society,"" as II has come 10 DE
regarded. we must not confouhd our
dear old "frst families" with their iohg
lines OF pedigree, and memories dating
back TO the deluge, their British Shields
orartered by the feur de lys OF France
and surmounted by the Turks mead
crest. bespeaking consangunity with the
Crusaders. These disciples OF the old
school," stand out as II In pas re"ei'
against the nebulous insipidity or their
surroundings. and view from their PIN
nacies. the frantic efforts OF the pseuuo
claimants for social recognition.
Even the daily mention of their nance
in the society columns Of newspapers re-
calls no knowledge of their Identity
10 these old-time aristocrats. to whom
figuring In a newspaper albeit In com
pI:mcntary manner. is considered almost
MS dreadful as figuring In Ponce court
IL Is with the fin de steele class that we
have 10 deal. Those. who, AFTER ehhh"s'-
ing America, 60 over and exhaust EUROPE
ard when. finding London fiat, Germany
eminently Improbable. conclude II VIII
be awfully Jolly" 20 ascend the Nile III
search of sacred crocodiles. or perchance
TO consult the sphinx, or find out thelr
inheritance In the pyramids In ASA
they find entertainment In the gruesome-
ness OF the Tower of Silence where
they take delight in watching the vui-
lures pounce down upon their victims.
and Specializing upon the length OF time II
will take for one Of those horrid creatures
to devour the corpse of Parsee woman.
ANCESTRAL TREES.
A recent occurrence In the house OF
noble woman, who while she entertains
this class, is not OF II, goes far In show
ing on what a weak basis Fashionable So
cieiy rests.
The hostess had issued cards for an
afternoon tea A few days before the
appointed time two young ladies called,
making the most profuse apologies for
the "ungodly hour Of their visit, II being
inst - O'clock 1--WE have come said
they. lin the greatest haste to tell you
that we have Just heard the Butler-John-
sons say that they will not come 10 your
tea IL you persist In asking those Floyd
Girls for they can not risk their social
positions by associating with persons
whose grandfather once kept Dutcher
stall In Washington Market. KNOWING
that you would feel dreadfuliy inc
Butler-Johnsons did not come, we rushed
right round" ION the contrary. my
dear girls" said the charming hostess
their absence will give me FAR more
Measure than their presence. under the
circumstances In the first place, their
statement regarding the F'loyds Is utterly
without foundation. and even were IL
otherwise II would make no difference
with me- Now. my dears. which wouid
Won rather have dangling from your
ancestral tree, a string Of sausages or
n string OF stolen watches? The original
Mr.. Johnson without the modern hyphen-
ated afiix of Butler } once kept pawn
shop" ~.
The girls raised their hands in holy
horror and declared that they hau never
'heard anything so dreadful
The tea came off, and the Misses FLOYD
were the bellies of the room, much 10 the
disgust of the Misses Butler-Johnson,
who could not resist The temptation Oh
the tea. even with those horrid Floyd
girls" thrown in.
AS YOU FIND THEM.
Funny little world Of ours. isn't II? It's
always best TO take people as you nnd
,hen look on their best side. II they give
Won pleasure, cultivate them, and doh
dig up their dead ancestors III they
were honest people, to find out what had
heon their occupations. Remember our
fret parents were only farmers, ana not
very reputable ones at that.
Anropos of afternoon teas. DR.. Oliver
Wendell Holmes. being asked his opinion
of such functions. said that iour "oiu'
described them, "giggle. gable. goppie'
git" Thanks dear old ''autocrat OF 'he
breakfast table" for this concise ana
expressive definition.
WEAK IN KNOWLEDGE.
At n recent one of these afternoon di'
vertisements. some one asheu 80,
ger. gowned in the latest hin's from
paris II Washington were State OF
Territory. a.. II.
81 really can't TELL" said she. II only
know that Congress meets there. ana that
the men spend their time squabbling over
the tariff and the silver Dill, ana we
know as much about II when they get
through squabbling as we did when they
began. l really know very niue OF my
ov'n country. Whenever the doctor pre-
scr,hes n tonic for me- I take it In the
form Of n trip over to the other side, ana
that lasts me until the gay seasons Oh
Iondon and Paris are over. Then come
hack here and vegetate until ! need an
other tonic, when / repeat the dose.
Although such rencontres may be SET
down In the ledger Of life under the mead
ing "Un mauvais quart d'heure, the Ia"
of compensation makes amends for such
wasted time when. for instance. we drop
I'm upon a coterie of congenial souls
where your individuality is not entirely
ignored: where you can converse sensiply
with your next-door neighbor without the
fear OF making n middle of things, as so
often happens where introductions are
not en- regle To illustrate the latter STU
alton, a gentleman was eXhaustlng ms
eloquence upon the depraVity Oh .ne
clergy. when he became suddenly con-
fronted with the fact that he was con-
yersing with a minister's wife; again.
lady In irving to draw out the opinions
of the gentleman on her right regardihe
the comparative merits Of Lillian Russell
and Pauline Hall, soon found that the
person questioned was the pastor or a
church that looks upon theatre as the
open door to the lower regions.
HAND SHAKING
Then II Is q positive pleasure to have
your hand shaken as II II were thins
of flesh and blood. and not piece OF
Dresden china which the shaker seems
afraid of breaking as she daintily wob-
bles II horizontally in front of your nose,
then languidly drops II at your side, as
~ the effort were too much for her, and
ke was relieved TO get her own saieIy
Back again.
Oh! for the good old honest shake OF
our grandparents. even II 1t did make the
blood tingle to the end OF our fingers and
our knuckles crack as II a surgical opera
ton was being performed upon them A
Captain Cutie hand that the heart guides
will live longer In memory than all the
ghostly digits of Uriah Heep. MIR. Mer-
die. or Or. Chillip
II wealth were contagious. ] wonder
how many Of socety's votaries would be
inoculated against the disease. certainly
not that one who not long since shame.
lessly asserted lin PRINT that the best
way to get around wounding friend
whom you do not wish to recognize be-
cause his costume Is not up to date, was
10 cross the street and vigorously scar
all objects on the opposite from that or
which your questionable friend was
walking. Oh. the pity OF Il! Wonder Il
our great Daniel Webster or Henry Clay
would have given such advice.
An incident with the came unsavori
ness about Il occurred at ore OF Gotham
swell clubs few nights ago. candi.
date for membership was BACKED balled
and II was discovered that the cause was
he followed tnerca ntile rather than ,,rf,.