davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
Heated Humorisms.

''Is he self made man ?" 81 think
so. His grammar is dreadful"
No matter how good an oarsman a
man may be, he can't beat shad roe.
We have noticed that the only one
in the family who looks pleased when
the doOr-bell rings is the girl who is
engaged.
Miss Beauti: "How do you like nv
new photograph ?" Little girl: Its
perfectly lovely. Did you really sit
for it your self ?"
Mamma is thinking of buying
dog" Really! What kind ?" "Oh,
she's not particular, so long as it
matches the carpets"
When a widOwer goes away on his
second wedding trip, it is usually wise
for him to take different journey
from the one on which he went before.
Old boarder: How does it happen
that you gave that man the tenderlion
and me the tough end ?" Waiter girl
He amt decided to stay, yet"
The trouble with not few men lies
in the fact that they have tongue
that runs fifteen knots an hour and
brain that moves at the rate of only
ten knots.
The hog looked at the butcher
With a sad and pensive air
And asked, when near the packing house.
/ "Will you meet me over there2"
You seem to have lost all zest for
life, my dear sir. You must rouse
yourself and take more interest in
your business" "Good gracious.
Doctor, I'm a money lender"
When it is announced that Kansas
girl will give a party, one doesn't
know whether he is expected to take
his dancing pumps or study up argu-
ments on suffrage.
Proud mother: "Did nv daughter
sing for you?" Opera manager
yah" "DO you think she could sue.
ceed on the stsge?" "Bossibly-ee
giffen bart nit no zinging in it,"
He; ut was rather strange tha
you should have clear weather
throughout the voyage" She, mo
at all. saw that the Captain swep
the sky with his telescope the frs
thing every morning."
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
Sold by Druggists. price rs.

A correspondent of the Boston Trans
cript draws gloomy picture of the
farmers in the billy country of New
Hampshire. There is no large area of
land anywhere under cultivation, and
only small herds of cattle, The scat.
tered houses are surrounded by a
garden patch, few acres of corn. a
pasture, with dense woods encircIing
all. There is no real farming" he
says. Each man has his own mouth
and smaller or larger circle of de.
pendent mouths to fll, and he goes at
it in the way that lies nearest 10 his
hand in the way that his farther went
at it before him, and his grandfather.
and his father. The commercial idea
of accounting for outgoes and incom.
ings is no part of their mental make.
up; they live from field to mouth. and
their horizon is bounded by the store
which takes their butter and eggs in
trade, and the town house where they
exercise the rights and functions OF
American citizens"
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
Wednesday, June 9Th,
L. P. CAMPBELL, PrOp'r.
Baltimore & Ohio r. r,
Schedule in effect May %, 1891.
TRAINS LEAVE DELAWARE AVE DFPO-
WILMINGTON, EAST BOUND.

TRAINS LEAVE DELAWARE AVE. DEPOT
WILMINGTON, EAST BOUND.
*2EXPRESS TRAINS.
New York, week days. 3 O3, - Il. IS 40 $40 S6
a. m, *l2 "a, - 49, - 30, - A., *ll D. m
New York, sundays, - %, = Il 40 SO q. IN
- 49, - 80, - A, al 90 p N.
Philadelphia, Twenty fourth and Chestnut Sts
weekdays, 50 Oh, 80, - H. 3j = So IS co. IS 4O
" 9O 10 CO. 40 30, II Is. a m, SD "a, 25, - AZ
q, 455, Is S5, 6 81, q A, 5 p, zlOlI, pm.
Philadelphia, Twelfth and Market Sts week
Gays g3e3 q H. E84O, slO 30, a. m, - AZ, Il A.
Atlantic City, weekdays. - 50. d. m: p 4oam
sundays *6 55E1 II a. m. p 40 p. m.
WEST BOUND.
Baltimore and Washington, 81 Is. 7O2. IS 81.
a m; 81 l6 - o. 70 o. 81 81 70 08 Is y IS 5S D.
m. weekdays. p
Baltimore and way stations, 7 O2 a. IL. and os
Newark, Del, Il Is, : o., Is 81, a IN %1216 , o.
"A ~, e Us, = S2. zo Z, 5S and Il 10 p. m
week days sundays, "A l5 : %, Is s. a. m: III Ii
3 O3, "a, %, Is y, Is 5S, II &c D. m
Pittsburg, zs S2, a. IN; q "a D. m daily.
Chicago rs - a. m; Il "a p IN, daily.
cincinnati and St. Louis, zl2 &c, p. M. and Is IS
New Orleans via Bristol and Chattanooga. "a 5s
p m, daily. Through sleeper to New Orleans.
| TRAINS LEAVE MARKET STREET STATION
| For New York, week days Is 20 am
| For Philadelphia week DAYS 6 20 57 30 sS %
| III 80 a. IN: 3D. 45, p m. Sunday, 6 20 a. m ,
| co. 90. 40 p. III.
For Pittsburg and Chicago, week davs % 20 a m
For Baltimore, week days. $50 IS % a m: . So
| % 40 m. Sunday, 2 55 p m
For LandenbeTg and Way Stations, week DAYS
| 50, 5 ~ a. m; 2l5, D 40 p m. SUNDAYS 9 p a m
| 40pm.
! LEAVE PHILADELPHIA FOR WILMINGTON
| TWENTY-FOURTH and CHESTNUT STREETS
Week days, % 81, g. Z 20, IS 90, 10 al 40 a, a,
| II noon. VI 80, Il 45, 90, 8 10 a co. 80 81 90
% 81 S5, &c 10, 80 e SS IS %, 1910 and IL 3!
| pm.
Leave Twelfth & Market SITS, % 20, q 40, I'll 26
a. m q 40, 70 Is, z ., p m. Sundays-z9 90 q 40
| Telephone, No. 1893.
Rates to Western points lower than via an,
| other line. c. 0. SCULI. GenI Pass AGENT
r. B. CAMPBELL, General Manager.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

With a great flourish Mr.. Debs
makes the announcement that he has
become a Popnlist. 1t is rare that
either Democrats or Republicans hear
OF a desertion from their ranks with
greater satisfaction than this one. He
announces, moreover, that he will en-
gage in no more strikes, seeking tc
benefit the working man hereafter by
political action. Ia other words, he
will get good fat Office for himself
ha con
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
FURNITURE
Anu CARPETS!

If you are thinking of
furnishing your house, a
room or part of one, you are
doubtless considering the
best and cheapest way Of
doing so.
That question is easily
enough settled. You have
only to visit our store and
see the immense stock of
Furniture and big assOrt-
ment of Carpets, to remove
all doubts on this point.
You will also find a COM
plete Upholstery depart
ment here, where will be
found curtains and draper
les Of every description.
The point is, to get Fur
niture in the latest and
most desirable styles at rea-
sonable prices, and inviting
you to our store we know
that you can cover all the
points.
Our prices are guaranteed
to be lower than elsewhere
Try us for your mex
wants.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

False Alarm. Mrs. Nexdoor-Your
little bow climbed over the fence snd
ran all over my howerbeds.
Mrs. Suburb-H Horrors They had
Just been watered hadn't they2
"N-o.n
"Oh, well, never mind the exercise
won't hurt him if he didn't get his
feet wet"
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
RIkANCIIIknAn.

DELAWARE, MARYLAND q VlkGryf, p
Leave harrington Tor Franklin and ,..1,. -. -,
IU;"o a. m, week days. 62j D. !. fni.''
,1ll nII siGys ana saturdays Returning trs},
tuesdays. Thursdays and SATURDAYS r. H''
Leave FIanElln City for Chiucoteavu,. .y;,
steamer I43 L. VI. weekdays KeturrlI.., rr
Chlhtoteague 4.i2 Il. IN. week-dav, '''
Leave Harrington for Georgetown and Ia,.a.
AZ Io-'9 a. m 20 ,. IN. weekdays. Ee.ITl.i,,,
ied I-eTG 20 a. H., 32l p, Ii. week days.
Leave Harrington for Rthot0th 1Gss IN
and o p p. IL. weekdays " Ill.,
For Berlin, leaves Harrih-tun loss a r,
"tek-ua!s ana 90 p. IL. Iuyslay, Thur.ls,-.
ana saturdays. Returning leave. B-i,;,
| 6.7O a N. weekdays. 245 p. m Tuesday, 'TGnrs.
days and Saturdays I"U's
QUEEN ANNE y KENT Il. R.-Icave Townsend
lot Centreyllle and way stations g2ualo and ~
| ?. m, weekdays Returning leave, Ca,,frer,li,
O.2D a. H. ana l.5J p. IN, weekdays
DELAWARE u NCHESAPEAKE Il. K - cave CIavto,,
| Ior OAlord ana way stations J., q m and + y
| p m, weekdays. Returning leave Oxforj 4 AZ
a. m and Il5 p. IN. weekdays
| CAMBRIDGE " 9EAFORD K. k.-Leave Seaf0rd for
| cambridge and intermediate stations lllSa m
| week days, and on Tuesdays THURSDAYS and
| saturdays 100 p. N. returning leave Cam
| bridge $50 a IN. weekdays. and 252 n m Tue
| days, Thursdays and SATURDAYS.
| Porter with Newark T. uais
| ware City Railroad. At Townsend. with Oueen
Anne s& &kentROilrOed. AtClaytop vii h bel ,gora
q @CheSapeake Railroadand Baltimore d Delaware
bay Railroad. At Harrington, with Delaware
Maryland Virginia Railroad AtSeaford with
Cambridge SeafOrd Railroad Al De,mar with
New York, Philadelphia Il Norfolk Wicemico q
! PocomOke and Peninsula Railroads.
! eDaily except sunday
;. N. PROVOST, General Manager
! }. X. WOOD, General Passenger Agent.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
Catarrh Cannot be Cured

with local applications, as they cannot
reach the seat of seat of the disease.
Catarrh is blood or constitutional dis
ease, and in order to cure it you must
take internal remedies. Halls Catarrh
Cure is not quack medicine. It was
prescribed by one of the best physicians
in this county for years, and is a regu-
lar prescription. 1t is composed of the
best tOnics known, combined with the
best blood purifiers, acting directly on
the mucous surfaces. The perfect com
bination of the two ingredients is what
produces such wonderful results in cur
ing Catarrh. Send for testimonial free.
F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Props,
Toledo, o.
Sold bV DruOOists nrice IL
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

Mamma Robbie, why didn't you
speak to Mrs. Bangle when you met
her just now?
RObbie-YOu said l must always
think twice before 1 speak, and
couldn't think of anything to think. -
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

Decidedly in doubt.-First Villager-
How do you like your neighbor? r?
Second Villager-Can't tell yet
whether like him or hate him.
why so ?"
"The first thing he did was to put
up high. board fence. and | haven't
been able to discover whether it is to
keep his chickens in or my chickens
out
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

GROWING PICKLEs.-The main vine
must be pinehed at the ends to keep
them within bounds and to encourage
the OutgrOwth side branches, which
are the most prolific of fruit. The
main branches bear chiefly male or
staminate flowers. which are barren of
fruit, and the side branches bear the
pistillate or productive flowers; so that
the great secret in growing this crop,
as well as all kinds of cucumbers, mel.
GUS and squashes, consists in the short
ening of the main vine and the encour-
agement of the laterals.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The girl who says she wouldn't
marry the best man in the world
usually keeps her word. Sometime es
she marries the worst.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
To Eat a Watermelon,

When you pull Georgia melon you must know
what you are at
An look out how your knife is goin in;
Put one half on this side O. you the other half
on that,
An then, you git between EN- an begin!
Atlanta ClfsiiliiLioJi
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The Pullman strikers have added
the last mournful chapter to the his-
tory of DebsOmania in a piliful appeal
for bread aud butter. 1--WE ask the
charitably disposed citizens of Chr
cagO," the petition reads, ito come to
our aid in this extremity with supplies
or money without delay, in order to
avoid what will be a chapter of suffer.
ing unspeakable." This is the impress
sive end to the new history which Die
tatOr Debs SO grandilOquently pro-
claimed he was making for the benefit
of Dosteritv.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

1t is good to be full of hope, but a man
cannot live long on diet of hope alone :;
it needs to be ballasted with bread and
meat, and bread and meat does not come
by hoping, unless the hoping be accom-
panied by hustling
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The eye of little Washington miss
was attracted by the sparkle of dew at
early morning. Mamma" size ex-
claimed, "it's hOtter'n 1 thought it
was"
what do you mean ?"
Look here; the grass is all covered
with perspiratiOn. - Washington Post.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
What Fightee About? ?

This is the question that is puzzling
the Chinese in this country, as we'll as
Americans who see no great cause for
war between China and Japan.
Perhaps the most satisfactory an
swer, in concise shape, Is given in
Harper's Weekly. After promising that
the exact nature or origin of the quar-
rel over COrea is not easy to define,
Hdrper's says: "China possesses a
vague right of suZerainty in Corea
which has been acknowledged by the
payment of tribute, but China has
never exercised any open control there.
Both China and Japan have trade rela-
tions with COrea and subjects lying
within its borders, of whom the Japa-
nese seem to be the more numerous,
active and wealthy. Both govern
ments claim, by treaty with each
other and with COrea, the right to land
troops to preserve order and protect
the interests of their own people. 1t is
now alleged by Japan that her subjects
in COrea have been wronged and are
actually exposed to violence and NAL
treatment. 1t is also claimed by Japan
that China was asked to join in send
| ing troops to COrea to protect the
treaty rights of Japanese traders and
residents and of her own, and not only
refused, but protested against inde-
pendent action by Japan.
1t is further claimed that an insur-
gent leader of Corea, having taken
refuge in Japan, was decoyed by the
Chinese agents to Chinese territory
and there betrayed to the Corean gov.
ernment and slain-an act which Japan
counts not only a violation of good
faith, but a wilful afront on the part
of both the Chinese and COrean Cover
ments. In all these claims there il
nothing that could not be settled peace
ably, ifall parties desired peace. Chine
is friendly to the actual COrea govern
ment, because it is largely under he
Influence. Japan is friendly to the op
position faction in Corea, because it de
sires at least the influence that Chinl
possesses in COrea, and probably mucl
greater. The Coreans, it is said, will
the support of the Chinese, have begun
to drive out the Japanese, and tie lat
ter are pushing forward reinforcement
for the troops already in COrea." Blu
HGrper'S expresses the opinion tha
Great Britain and Russia will inter
vene, from conflicting motives, to eithe
put stop to the fighting or keep tn
war very narrowly localized.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The Senators may twist and turn their
votes, but the interests of the sugar trust
are, it seems, always taken care of.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
THE SMYRNA TIMES.
.SN912'n0, DeI.,
Wednesday Afternoon, Aug. 8, 1894
Short, Sharp and Snappy.

Thesugar trust doesn't mind being abused
so long as its profits are not interfered with.
Ditto all the rest Ofthe trusts.
-
The tariff stubbornness at Washington
would be more eXcusable if it were not
based upon personal feeling rather than
any desire for the welfare of the people at
large.
Ifpeace cannot be kept without the use
of the federal army it is high time that
Uncle Sam began to consider the necessity
for making an assignment.
One has only to read the editorials in the
big metropolitan dailies, on the war in the
east, to become conviced that the study of
the politics and affairs of China, Japan and
Korea have been sadly neglected by Ameri-
can journalists.
Horizontal BilP' Morrison is said to
have gone cunning for the Stevenson Presi-
dent boom, with blood in his eyes and
heavy ammunition in his belt.
The longer the tariff deadlock continues
the larger the profits of the sugar trust,
which is rushing raw sugar in to save the
duty which will be imposed by the new
LdIlus tLudpS IubIt Is GOnDHeLlOn
between the two things.
The victims of the modern trolley car
are tar more numerous than were those
| of the ancient car of Guggernaut; besides,
they are not willing victims, as were the
latter.
The Japs took the king in the first hand
/ of the China-KOrea game and still have
high trumps left.
The New Jersey girl whose prospective
| husband was fOrcibly prevented from tax
| ing his place in the marriage ceremony by
his mother ought not to grumble; she los
nothing worth having.
The drouth has knocked the spots out O
every sort of crop, except One-politics
that thrives best without water.
The Senators may twist and turn thei
votes, but the interests of the sugar trus
are it seems, always taken care Of
1t is good to be full of hope, but a mai
cannot live long on diet of hope alone
it needs to be ballasted with bread an,
meat, and bread and meat does not com
by hoping, unless the hoping be accom-
| pAmed Dy hustllng.
In Chicago more than 90 per cent of tn
voters are foreign born and in New Yor
1898 per cent. These facts, if kept i
mind, will explain much that would other
wise be puzzling.
The old idea of a tax on bachelors hs
) been revived just as though the mere faC
OF being without good wife were not
sufficient punishment for them.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The drOuth has knocked the spots out of
every sort of crop, except One-pOlitics
that thrives best without water.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

In Chicago more than 90 per cent of the
voters are foreign born and in New York
1888 per cent. These facts, if kept in
mind, will explain much that would other
wise be puzzling.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

Thesugar trust doesn't mind being abused
so long as its profits are not interfered with.
Ditto all the rest of the trusts.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The longer the tariff deadlock continues
the larger the profits of the sugar trust,
which is rushing raw sugar in to save the
duty which will be imposed by the new
tariff. Perhaps there is connection
between the two things.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
The
Die is
Cast

At a meeting of the firm held
June 18th, 1894, it was unani-
mously resolved to clean out our
enormous stock of Mems, Boys
and Children's Clothing.
In order to move the stock as
rapidly as possible, we have cut
our prices in half, wiz
1000 All Wool Mems Suits, $500, oo
Former price. $1,000
Former price, $1,000
1000 All Wool Mems Suits, $1,000, oo
1000 All Wool Mems Suits, SIS 90,
Formor price, $4,000
500 Childrens Suits, $780, 80.
Former price. 800
500 Children's Suits $500,
800 Boys Suits. s4.OO,
Former price, IS 90
~~CUST0M DEPARTMENT. -
Elegant Suits at $500,
Elegant Suits at $500.
Former price, $4,000
Everything must go at these
extraordinary low prices, in or
der to make room for our Fall
and Winter stock.
Samples sent on application.
Car fare paid within 100 miles
of Philadelphia.
| SPECIAL OFFERING.
1000 Summer Vests at l5c, worth Sl.5O.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The old idea of a tax on bachelors has
been revived, just as though the mere fact
of being without good wife were not a
sufficient punishment for them.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

Ne,g caste Recommendation Trqm<-Leave ,yf,
mIngton Y O6 a. IN, and 6I5 p m. dai,y WI. va
days iy liI4 eayd a. M Ic ~ & ! and $50 p H. wee eek X
daily S,Sl; 945 ll0j ID. II. lis. 5sG AMI ! p, H.
m. week days "'-- % - ,.
~ Hs-EiTpress trains leaving Harrington .o,.
tbToi,,h "t,h id aIiidVing al o2o p n weekday, rI,
ters and Newark ttN Ioi'
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

Ifpeace cannot be kept without the use
of the federal army it is high time that
Uncle Sam began to consider the necessity
for making an assignment.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

Horizontal BilP' Morrison is said to
have gone cunning for the Stevenson Presi-
dent boom, with blood in his eyes and
heavy ammunition in his belt.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The New Jersey girl whose prospective
husband was fOrcibly prevented from TAX
ing his place in the marriage ceremony by
his mother ought not to grumble; she lost
nothing worth having.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The victims of the modern trolley car
are far more numerous than were those
of the ancient car of Guggernaut; besides,
they are not willing victims, as were the
latter.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The Japs took the king in the first hand
of the China Korea game and still have
high trumps left.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08
PHILADELPHIA Wilmington Z Baltimore sai,n,
DELAWARE DIVTSV0D

Is follows: -0'i' trains will leave
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

One has only to read the editorials in the
big metropolitan dailies, on the war in the
east, to become conviced that the study of
the politics and affairs of China, Japan and
Korea have been sadly neglected by Ameri-
can journalists.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

The tariff stubbornness at Washington
would be more eXcusable if it were not
based upon personal feeling rather than
any desire for the welfare of the people at
large.
Smyrna times., 1894-08-08

SOUTHWARK.
EXP. Pass. Exp. Pass. Mai, =, ..,
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1894-05-10
Saturday Night.

Another six days work is done, The
close Of another week marks another
point in the progress Of life. The hands
the heart, the brain, have grown weary
with the strain of the hurried events Of
the past days of toll. To the weary
worker, who has carried q crushing load
of care and anxiety through the week
the end OF it comes as q soothing balm.
A sigh of great relief comes from the
overburdened heart as the shades oi
night compel q cessation of business and
labor.
It is the most benefcient provision for
meeting the demands for rest Of our ex-
hausted systems that one day in seven
be devoted to the recuperation Of our
tircd our natures. Our whole physical
being becomes worn out speedily unless
we rest one day in week from our ac-
customed toll. Where fatiguing labor ia
followed steadily, a. many kinds of en-
ployment now require, the 1aborer soon
grows old, or his health gives way, and
he fills an early grave. 1t is crime q
gainst our bodies and minds to pursue an
exhausting occupation continuously day
after day without cessation. The bodily
powers cannot endure the strain year
sfter year unimpaired, and the common
result OF an effort to work necessarily is
eventually enfeeblod health and an early
grave.
The Sabbath Of peacefnl repose is a
necessity of our natures, alike demanded
by our physical, mental and moral pow
ers.- Trinidad News.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1894-05-10
Bill Newby's Banquet.

VIM. Newly, of Wayne county, H.
inois, has national fame. He was re-
ported killed at the battle of Shiloh, but
turned up at his old home 30 years later,
having spent most of the intervening
time in poor houses. His identity is now
questioned, but those of his old neigh
bors, who knew him best are enthusiastic
in support OF him as the real Bill Newby.
The following from the Fairfield, Ill,
Press shows that the citizens around his
old homo yet are yet willing to stand by
him:
about 800 neighbors and friends of
VIM. Newby assembled at his home near
Mil Shoals and helped him celebrate his
6Sth birthday. A long table was spread
under the shade of the trees and there
was an abundance of good things to eat.
About 40 were in attendance from Fair
field, the G.. A. r. boys from this place
presenting Mr.. Newby with watch and
Mrs. Newly with nice water set. VIM.
Newby's neighbors who were present ON
this occasion are firm in their belief that
he is the long lost soldier"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1894-05-10
Woman Suffrage Here to Stay.

Attorney General Engley has writ.
ten an opinion in regard to the permancy
Of women suffrage in Colorado, and his
decision closes as follows: "The right it.
self is founded in the constitution, the
Legislature was constituted the medium
BY which the people might give express
ion of their will as to the exercise Of that
right. The Legislature could not of it.
self confer the right, neither can il now
restrict or abrogate 1t. It can only be
done by consent Of the people through
an amendment Of the fundamental law
the constitution.
Equal suffrage, in Colorado, is here to
stay and it will never be driven from the
fundamental law until civilization shall
have been turned backward, and the glo-
rious history Of the Centennial state for
ever closed beneath an epitaph written
upon the dead manhood and womanhood
OF what will then be once free and no.
ble citizenship, and whenever this shall
happen. dying liberty will follow it into
its tomb"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1894-05-10

;enator John Sherman's Idea Of BIZ
mettalism.