The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-10-11
SOME ANECDOTES
sTarshall p. Wilder Pulls Out Few Stories
From His Pouch

From His Pouch.
tits difficult, . said that jolly little jest
err Marshall p. Wilder, in a recent chat,
to string together cohcrently new tests
and jokes in a formal interview Humor-
Gus efforts, as you know, do not strike any
two people in just the same way. Much
depends upon the occasion to make play
full turn of words effective, especially to
an audience. For instance last year in
Flint, Mich, gave vent to a spontaneous
remark that elected more applause than
anything else 1 said during the evening.
Just as 1 was approaching the footlights
to begin my Inonologue the electric lights
went out and left the house in total dark
ness. Pausing a few seconds for the return
of the light which very dismally failed to
give us illumination, / said. Ladies and
gentlemen, this is a terrible predicamen6
for me fear you will be unable to see
my jokes But the audience very prompt
" saw that one and gave me a warm vel
come. Before they had finished their
handclapping and laughter the electric
lights again were all in harmonious opera
ton
Speaking of the difference between
English and American humor, here is
anecdote which perfectly illustrates it. An
Englishman, new arrival in New York,
meets an American friend the street
and says, How do you feel, old chap
Out of sight, replies the American. And
what may that really mean, y'know?' in
quires the puzzled Britisher- The Ameri-
can enters into a labored explanation of
the cisatlantic idiOm, whereupon the
gentleman from London, still somewhat
puzzled, but evidently satisfied, exclains,
Very droll and clevah don't VI know "A
few days later some one asks the English
man how he feels by way of greeting, and
this is his response: Pom my word, old
chap, you cawn't see me, y know.
But, after all, - continued Mr.. Wilder,
1.-THE English are very loyal to their
friends fortunately in England I have
a mum Der Of admirers. When / was last
over there, / met one of them who said to
me in a most confidential way, Mr.. Wild
er, those were very funny things you told
US last year You see, it takes about a
year for good American joke or anecdote
to terminate ii English soil and bear any
kind of fruit
At this point 1 asked him whence he
derived his best appreciated jokes. Mr..
Wilder, after a thoughtful pause, replied:
From everyday life. To illustrate: saw
two Irishmen on a Broadway cable car
yesterday. One says to the other: Mike.
your clothes look purity tough and seedy.
Why don't you get a dacent suit Of
clothes9'
q Well, answers Mike, with almost a
pompous confidence in his explanation,
there's not a tailor in Harlem that kin
measure me, I'm that ticklish-
Another illustration: One Irishman,
7 bear you've had the grip bad Another
Irishman, Yis, bout month ago All,
Pat, the grip is a terrible disease It's the
only thing you're sick with after yours
we'll
An Irishman with only one leg was
goiI$ along the street when he met a
friend of his own nationality What
says the friend, you've lost leg, eha'
Yes, said tho other despondently- Well,
observed the friend, my poor man, you
won t miss it these hard times
Here is another cable car incident that
I witnessed recently A man was indulg-
ing in profanity in the car when there en-
tered lady and her husband. The latter
taking umbrage at the blasphemer, said,
See here, you mustn't swear before my
wife, whereupon the blasphemer an
swered, Excuse me, I didn't know your
wife wanted to swear
This is a pretty good one. A young
darby, indulging in hitting his thumb
with a hammer every few seconds, was
asked what he was doing that for His
philosophical reply was -Kase 1T feels 90
good when I stop
Here is another: A man was carrying a
disreputable looking dog into an express
Office when an inQuisitive policeman ask
ed where the canine bound for
Promptly came the answer He don't
know and / m ID if do. He's cheWed
up his tag"
Mr. Wilder's concluding story before re-
Giving another visitor he attributed to
Mr. Henry E. Dixey and related substan-
italy as follows. Several old chaps were
sitting around the big stove in a rural
barroom telling stories and SO on when
another old chap of much the same type
as themselves hobb1ed in Seeing no va
cant chair, he finally commissioned the
pudgy landlord TO give his horse in the
shed dozen oysters on the half shell. The