The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-04-07
PuNcEnT PARAGRAPHS.

-Figg-sTll let you know I'm not
the fool you think" Fogg-''Possibly
not Which one are your" = Boston
Transcript
-Gray-"Dillington dresses pretty
well. Wonder if he earns much mon
ey?' Black-"No; but he has big
lary."-Boston Transcript.
-Ethel-'Jack Jollyboy is very inn
pudent He attempted to kiss me last
night" Clarissa-"Impudent? Ishould
call him crazy."-N. Y. Press.
She Didn't. = Husband (irately)-
"You think you know everything, don't
you?" Wife (softly)-"No, dear; new
err did know why you know SO little"
Detroit Free Press.
-"I'm worried about my St Bernard
dog" "Why?' "He's losing his appe-
tite." sPm worried about mine, too. f"
"Why?' HE isn't" = Washington
Star
Handlers doctor, I'm getting SO
near-sighted that can't recognize pco-
Pile in the street What shall do for
it? The Doctor-'Why not pay your
debts?''-Elmira Gazette.
-"Can leave little poem with
you?" asked the young author. "You
can,' replied the editor, ''all poems
get left in this vicinity."-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
I'm the Cannibal Islands.-Mother-
'sWhat is the matter with you, my
son? Have you eaten anything that
disagreed with your Son-'That is
why ate him. Boston Transcript
Not in Love. -''How do you know
that DeVere is not in love with Mabel
Sweetbriar?'' because l heard him
tell her the other evening when they
came from church that he knew of
short cut home. "-Detroit Free Press.
-Cholly-"It-aw--ma be all wight,
you know, but I-aw-find it doosed
hard to believe that we are descended
from-aw-monl<eys." Miss Smart
latter looking him over)-"I don't. -
N. Y. Press.
-"And so, Peter, you spell women
with an 'a?' said the teacher, correct
ing an exercise. "Please. sir" was the
reply, my papa told mamma only yes
terday that women were singular
beings. Music and Drama.
-Seedeigh-'I must raise some
lady for six weeks board" Stuart
Cant you stand her off any farther?'
Seedeigh-''Great Scott! no; she's dis
tant enough acknowledgements
Monthly.
-Chappie-"Doctah, I'm afwaid
have tobacco heart" Squills-''Have,
eh? What do you smoker Chappie-
''Cigawettes, doctah.' DR.. Squills--
''Calm your fears. Tobacco heart is
only produced by the use of tobacco"
-Philadelphia Record.
There are times" said the man
with the oratorical manner, 'swhen we
are overwhelmed with humiliation at
the powerlessness of the human mind"
That's very true" was the reply, II
am often made to feel So" ''Indeed?'
Eyes, have four-year-old daughter
who asks questions" = Washington
Star.
-Mistress-"I have just been read.
ing. Bridget. of girl who was burned
to death by kindling the fire with kero-
sene. / hope you never kindlc your
fire with kerosene, Bridget" Bridget
-"No, indade, mum; uses paper and
match to kindle wild; it is only tc
hurry up the foire after it be kindled
that pours on the kerosene. boston
Transcript.
Mrs. Bingo-'I have one of the
checklist cooks you ever saw. She
actually wore my sealsAin cloak yes
terday. out in the park" Mrs. King
ley-O, my! Did you demonstrate with
her?' Mrs. Bingo-'I should say did
and she replied that she was very sorry
and that she wouldn't have done it il
she had known it was SO warm."-N
" Herald