The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1894-01-26


"That was me piece Of wort, /" said old
! Nj. Freebedy, as he took his seat in the
Amen corner of the church last Sunday,
"and am glad it lapfeued as ! should
have taken the matter up myself and can
never discass questions Of religious nature
! without getting mad yes, very mad.n
"To what do you alude2n asked Mr..
Tulip,
"0h, excuse me, said Mr., Freebody u
thought yon were discussing the merits and
demerts Of Colonel Jewpepper."
"And so We were" chimed in half
dozen voices simultaneously.
AS was saying" said Mr.. Freebody,
''the way Cal has managed to subdue that
cantankerous Elder Wayback is commend
able"
yes" said Mr.. Tulip, the Elder has
changed fronts, yet can't lell Just how he
stands. ! read his bubble over four times,
then read ii over backwards, then side
ways; but guess we will have to accept
his last sentence as conclusive"
"At any rate" said Mr.. Mayfower "he
will be more careful in the future about
handling young spuds lest be should offend
the mother vine
No one knew what Mr. Mayhower was
hitting at,. and before another word was
spoken the choir commenced singing "My
soul, be on thy guard"
The conversation took place in the pres
/ ence of Tubs" | did not attend church
myself as had to doctor Helen Blazes chat
is the name of Cindy's buggy animal, which
/ bought Of Ike Blazes) for the collie.
had list finished dressing chicken for
dinner, when "Tubs" returned, bringing
with him Mr., Tulip,
"What is the matter with Elder Way
back?" asked Mr., Tulip, when we were
, comfortably seated at the dinner table.
Arrogance, answered Lucinda prompt
ly.
lyon are correct" said Mr.. Tulip; "arro-
gance favored with egoism. He is very
/ anxious" continued Mr.. Tulip, "to discuss
atheistic evolution, and think he has got
hold of copy of Ernst Haeckefs "Eyolu-
ton of Man." II so, he is pretty well
posted and rot believing in the ability oi
I Cal to cope with him he will call upon
his humoroust p friend Clodhopper' to play
| tha roIa of an a,rnostin -
This will be quite convenient for the
Elder" said Cindy, as she modestly slipped
her tea, ''for while he is showing the quill
he can look in the mirror and see 'Clod-
hopper performing the same feat. | shall
never forgive him. she continued, ''fol
calling Cal hypocrite."
"Don't let that bother you, Cindv-Mrs
{. Jewpepper, | mean" said Mr.. Tulip. 81
have known Cal ever since was boy, and
know that he possesses virtues unknown
IN man-and but few women as to that mat
e--since the days Of Washington"
Notwithstanding have been used to such
aitery for over 90 years, blushed anc
ist have blushed very deeply, as Cindy
| 1aght that had got choked on a chicken
bone, and called on Mr., Tulip for help
while TUBS brough. cup of water which
was dashed in my face before could uttel
word.
think thai shall read up and at some
' future time attack the "Elder" on his athe
istic evolution theory altho he has Huxley
Haeckle, Evans, Darwin, the Boston Oh
server and the Iron-Clad Age, to back hin
up, while have nothing but the Old Tesla
ment and Gulliver's travels.
| Now, Elder" while am stumpmg the
county in behalf Of Silas ButterviIle, who il
running for representative, hope you will
adhere closely to the sentiments expressed
in the last sentence in your last article, ant
remember the fate Of Annanias and his
wife, when they offended St. Peter by pre-
varicating
CAL JEwPEPPER.