The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-06-14
an EXPENSIVE TOWN.
BIN Turkeys DiscouraRinE Experience
q Chicago Restaurant.

Bill Iur1ey'S O19cOur8g1ng Experience IN
q Chicago Restaurant.
Bill Turley, of Erwin Township, Ind,
came to Chicago on business, writes EG
r. Pritchard in the Arkansaw Traveller.
Bill fancied he knew itall, and a thing or
two besides, so he staggered around with
his pants in his boots and his hat on one
side of his head, swore at the bus drivers,
knocked over a couple of hotel runners at
the Union depot, and ''lowed Sheecawgo
wuzent so dad-durned big Sat he couldn't
find anywheres he wanted ter go, by jing. ~
So, with an impudent go-to-thunder look
In his eye and rolling stand-back-here
swagger in his gait, he moved his way
along Canal street and past long line of
hacKmen, who, sizing him up as ''no bloody
good" allowed him to go unscathed. He
turned cast on Madison street, crossed the
bridge, and a few minutes later brought
up at Clark; here he stopped, and, for the
hrst time, showed some signs of doubt and
uneasiness. At length he stepped up to q
policeman, and, accosting, him, said: "Say.
want ter go to a tavern or some place
where kin git suthin' ter eat
Fright across the street," answered tho
officer, pointing with his club to large,
building on which the sign, "Restaurant-
Breakfast Now Ready" was conspicuously
displayed. Our Hoosier friend crossed over
and entered. As he sat down to the table n
waiter rushed up, poured out glass of ice
water, showed bill of fare under his nose
and hurried away toperform similar office
for another patron who sat opposite.
a minute later he returned to Bills chair
and said: ''Well, sir, what will you have!
"Well," said Bill, slowly, 'bring me some
steak m onions, ham and eggs, baked ia
ters, plate o. toast m er cup o. coffee.''
The waiter had him repeat the order, and
then finding he had gotten it right. he sailed
away to have it filled.
Twenty minutes later, during which time
Turley had grown not little fidgety and
nervous. the waiter appeared with an enor-
nous tray-load of eatables. First he de-
posted on the table large Sirloin steak on
huge platter, fanked by an odorous rim
of fried onions; then he placed beside it a
huge slice of ham and three fried eggs, then
dish of baked potatoes, and, lastly, plate
of toast, steaming hot.
Bill fell to work with an air of a man who
meant business; while all unconscious to
himself he was the target of Lot few in
quisitive eyes, he proceeded to dispatch
tnat breakfast in about the time in which
an ordinary man would have disposed of a
ham sandwich and a toothpick
Having finished his meal he showed back
from the table, picked up his hat from the
floor, where he had deposited it beside his
chair, and made his way to the cashiers
desk. He threw down a quarter and was
passing on out when the waiter came up
and, plucking him by the sleeve, said:
you've forgotten your check, sir; here
1t is; please pay the CASHIER
That's all right" said Bill. grufay, 'pve
settled with the cashier. I gin him quar-
ter jess now."
"But, my FRIEND" expostulated the waiter,
''your check is for two dollars. You don't
expect to get a feed like that for quarter,
do you2''
''Two doIlarsl" echoed Turley in blank
dismay, 81 thought twenty-five cents meal
was the price everywhere"
'tNot much it ISM" " returned the waiter.
$50 you can just walk up and settle and
save trouble.n
Bill saw he was in for it, so he walked up
and paid like man. But as he went out he
remarked: 1.-TWO dollars Ter bre'kfus an
no great shakes of meal nuther. Well, I
kin live on cheese and crackers an cove
oysters till ter-morrow; but, Lord, won't I
make the grub look sick when git back to
old Erwinr'
Bill got back home all right, but he wonders
yet how people in Chicago manage to par
their board bills.