Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1894-11-10
HAD ENOUGH OF SUBSTITUTES
Home Made Bootbiaeklng and the Em-
barrassment IL Caused.

Home Made bootDlackans anu tho LIN
barrassment IL Caused.
Sorae gentlemen were discussing
current topics in the lobby of the st.
George the other evening, when
hopfen- weiss, the new prohibition
substitute for beer, was drawn into
the discussion, says the Baltimore
News. Some had tried the new
drink and pronounced it equal in
point of flavor TO the genuine article,
and various opinions were ex-
changed relative to the right OF per.
sons to sell it in local option COM
munities II am not competent to
venture an opinion upon that phase
OF the question" said one OF the
party, ''but as a rule the man who
monkeys with substitutes usually
comes to grief in one way or an-
other At any rate. that is my ok
perience. and l will give you
q case in point. In the early
days of Texas, when few OF
the modern conveniences that we
now enjoy were obtainable, | was
living in the country, working on a
farm. A man named Brown lived
near my fathers. We'll. one day
learned that couple OF young ladies
were visiting Mr.. Brown and family.
OF course. now. 1 would have TO 60
over and see the young ladies' |
had tolerable good suit OF clothes,
but my shoes wore considerably
worn. and never having come in
contact with blacking, were natur-
ally tough aud unpleasant to the
sight. so | set about trying to hit
upon schemes whereby | could i'm
prove the complexion OF my shoes.
Finally an idea struck me and |
smiled triumphantly as | cOugratu-
lated myself on my shrewdness. |
would take some SCOT from the chin
ney, use molasses as a vehicle. as
the druggists say, and polish up my
shoes with the compound. The SCOT
would certainly make tho shoes
black enough. aud the molasses
would hold it on Capital idea.
Therefore | got TO work and soon
had my substitute ready and applied
to the shoes
The effect was not very arts.
tic. but it made the shoes black. and
that was the end | sought to achieve:
A short walk soon brought me to
our neighbours. where the girls were
visiting. and on my arrival was
invited into the room which did ser.
vice as parlor. The young ladies
and | had exchanged a few compli.
ments relative to tho weather when
l unconsciously shifted my foot on
the loor. Then my heart sank within
me and / cursed the day that my in.
ventiye talent got the upper hand
Of me and | monkeyed with substi.
tutes, for when | moved my foot a
swarm of dies filled the room and
roared like bees. They had been at
ter the molasses on my shoes, aud
the shifting OF my foot had put them
TO flight | felt that my face was
getting unbecomingly red and
my nerve began to fail me.
but / made a heroic effort 10 renew
the conversation and stand my
ground. But IL was useless. could
StS budL bu0 SLIAs WGEG Az Bub
dying to laugh, and re-enforcements
OF flies were constantly appearing
upon the scene. They roared and
buzzed and fought each other for
hrst place on my shoes Directly |
heard Mrs. Brown from the other
room say: Johnnie. think hear
the bees swarming. Go out and see
about them. That was too much.
and gathering up my hat. babe the
young ladies hurried good-day and
departed, enyeloped in halo OF
flies as big as a balloon. AS closed
the gate behind me heard Johnnie
shout: Nav, the bees amt a swarm.
in; they're after that young Teller
what just left here He's been steal
in honey and they're after him
about it. Wush they'd sting the
triflin' rascal to death, do No.
gentlemen, no substitutes for me,
please The bare mention OF II
makes my hair pull.