The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-05-30
BILL ARP,s LETTER.
Bill Purchases Cooler and Drinks Too
Much Water.
atlanta Constitution.

Bill Purchases a Cooler and Drinks Too
Much Water.
atlanta Constitution.
Sick again, but it is all right, for |
am over the worst of it and can afford
TO be bigoty now. 1t was all my fault
and my wife and my daughter and my
doctor have told me 80 forty or fifty
times. They rubbed it in every time
they gave me medicine and / had to
take both doses at once. You see l
am very fond of ice water, but we
have never had water cooler until
last week. I saw beautiful one and
was assured that five pounds of ice
would keep the water ice cold all day,
so I came home and told about it, how
there was an inner chamber for the ice
and how when the ice melted the wa
ter still kept its temperature, for no
outside air could reach it and how it
was ornamental and would grace the
hall and we would not have to be
stealing ice any more from the refrig-
orator, etc. Well, of course, had to
order one, and last Thursday morning
[ loaded the pretty thing and all that
day / was experimenting and tasting
| to see how it was performing. Well
it was just splendid and my wife kept
telling me that that cooler would put
me to bed if I didn't mind.
That night we were invited out to
tea and had spread before us sumpt-
uous feast and about 9 o'clock the ice
cream was served in generous quantity
and we departed. It was ice all day
and away in the night. Was there
ever such fool ? But I've paid for
it all. I have confessed my sin and l
don't think will ever do SO any more
and I only tell it now as warning to
suffering humanity. The Good Book
says, He trieth the reins of the chill
dren Of men '-trieth them sometimes
with one thing, sometimes with anoth-
er, but ice water by day and ice cream
at night gets mine. That night about
midnight there was tap on my side
that walked me up and thought some
body had hit me with small shillaly
right over my right rein. [ had felt
that same knock before and recognized
it, I got up and poked around among
the medicines until I found the spir-
it's of inter and paragoric and I took a
dose without awaking anybody. The
pain got worse and worse and [ re-
newed the dose every hour and got to
groaning 80 that / walked up every
body and they plastered my side and
loins with mustard. I drank all the
Radway I could find and I walked
around half bent and laid down and
got up every minute.
About daylight I got relief and
dropped to sleep. All, blessed sleep,
but for three more days l. have been
wrestling with those reins. I have
taken small drug store of medicine
inter, paragoric, lithia, calomel,
salts, blue mass, quinine and lot |
never inquired the name of, for I
didn' care. I knew that I couldn't
be worsted and would have swallowed
melted lead if the doctor said so.
I'm getting so that l can move
about now and SO when the pet rab-
bits got out this evening it was
thought that perhaps it wouldn't
strain me to help catch them. Did
you ever try to catch a pet rabbit ?
Well, it is the most provoking bust
ness in the world. It took us all two
hours to do it and l had to go to bed
again. A kind lady gave them to our
grandchildren day before yesterday
and of course I will do anything for
her.,
We have a boy hired, but he is new
er here when We want him. Last Sat.
urday he had to go to pic mic and
begged me out of a dollar and my wife
out Of pair of my old pants and to-
day he had to 60 to funeral and he
keeps in my debt all the time, and SO
I keep him, for he is as humble as a
dog and my wife and the girls can
scold him and abuse him all day long
and not impair his ebony smile. That
is valuable t-ait. I would like to
dig a post-hole in the backyard and
plant him in it and holler at him by
the hour.
Oh, these darkies-what COM
pound, what heterogeneous variety.
My daughter worked all the morning
Friday helping her cook to make
cakes and things for the darkies' pic
mic of Saturday. Sunday morning the
cook came in on time and my daugh-
ter says: "Well. did you have nice
time at the pic mic p >''I never
wenS," she said. ''My feller never
come after me and I stayed at home"
"And you never came here to help me
on Saturday-you mean thing-after
all 7 did for you. I never did see a
negro that had spark of gratitude. u
But the funniest thing about the
negro was told me by George Adair
the other day. Old Isham is a preach
era smart old preacher-who always
gets up -carousement. He was tell
ing George about his troubles on this
line. Sometimes can't get 'em
fired up hardly any. Sometimes de
debil blow out de fire after I git it
started. But I keeps on BLOWN
around ontwel I gets 'em to cavortins'-
around, for you see widout dat mig
ger meetin' amt no meetin at all.
Only last Saturday night I was havin'
a powerful cold time and couldn't
hardly git up grunt or groan or
bless God from anybody, when all of
sudden I squat down and den jump
away up and wild my hands raised to
Heaven [ holler out: 'Brerin and Sis
ters, de scripter say:
"Great is Dinah Of de Phesians;
"Great is Dinah of de Phesians:
Great is Dnah Of de Phesians."
IT showed it out three times as loud
as I could holler, and it just everlast-
ingly wake up dem niggers, and you
neber heard de like in all your life.
BLESS God for Dinah Oh, my Lord,
send Dinah down /! Oh, l see Aunt
MI .a.-J No,,o down Diuoh