The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1894-01-17

Andy Rnssel is running to waist.

long and wide.
Ahen a man is well off he should
stay off.
1t is now becoming fashionable for
women to straddle the saddle.
Arnstein says it takes a seedy man a
long time to come up. A isn't seedy but
T..
In Tucson, Ariz., pretty girls are
employed as ushers in the churches and
now the young men have become
unusually pious.
The Southern Paciis may soon aban-
don its pay-car service and send out pay
checks instead, when Evans and Morrel
will gather in the collateral.
John L. Sullivan's wife, a small quiet
little lady ''thumped him on the NUT
with an Indian club the other day, and
laid him out for an hour. He attempted
to abuse her.
A Denmark old maids insurance COM
pany pays regular weekly benefits" to
spinsters of forty years and upward.
What's the matter with Wadsworth
APPLYING for a charter in the concern.
We have everything but that.
If Mccarthy ofthe Hawthorne Bulletin
will come up This way he'll find our
latch string hanging on the outside.
You should make the trip. Mac, to
study our names and locations, for
really you do get Mason Valley persons
and things awfully mixed up-Tidings,
That the way Nc. takes them.
An old tramp went into a house on
the North Side the other day and asked
for something to eat. The lady was a
little religiously enclined, SO she cut him
off a large slice OF bread, and when she
gave it to him che said, "Now, my poor
man, l give you this for Gods sake"
! He took it, turned it over in his hand
and said, "Well, madam, for Christ's
sake put some butter on it,
A few months ago Mrs. Crimmons OF
Oakland, brought suit for divorce.
While the matter was pending she had
occasion to shoot her husband. which
she improved. Apparently she also i'm
proved the husband, for the suit was
withdrawn, and they are living like two
doves. The pistol of peace should hang
in that household above the sign "God
bless our home" And now look out for
some shooting scrapes in this town.
Charlie Lewis claims to be a poet and
offers the following to substantiate his
claim: Come back, came baak, my
youthful pants, come back, come back
to me, for never more by any chance
your equal 1 shall see. Ny mother
made them | recall how wondrous was
their fit for | was some six sizes small
into the things to get. They hung
straight from my shoulder blade in folds
beyond belief, and when the eastern
zephyrs played / had to take a reef. She
made them out of fathers pants; the
bosom was his size. The sight of me in
them by chance would fill you with
surprise. | still remember l would use
the slack in carrying chips: and when to
raise, if l did choose, my face was in
eclipse. And all the boys I met would
g%leeful round me dance, and ask in
tones l can't forget, "Where did you
get them pants?" Oh, trousers queer Of
long ago, oh, pants wild and free-where
have you gone, l long to know; come
back to me.
A San Francisco Judge the other day
denied Daisy B. Martin, application fol-
a divorce from Ross Martin on the
ground that they never had been mar
ried. That is rather rough on Daisy
The case came up in this way. Daisy
and Ross it appears conducted them
selves according to the free love doctrine
until Daisy's papa loaded up his big gun
and hired a preacher to do the rest.
Ross went through the ceremony with
one eye on the gun and the other on the
exit. After the knot was tied Ross slid
out that exit and was exeunt as it were,
nor did he return to his would-be bride
to ask if Papa had put up his shooting
iron. The court finds that there was no
marriage contaminated by this proceed
ing, and while dispelling the cloud to
Daisy's matrimonial rights, denies her
petition for a divorce IRON a man whom
she had never acquired as a husband.
Moral-Young women remember that
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