The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1894-11-07
WIT AND HUMOR.

VIII AND HUMOR.
~What did you do when he proposedp
4 lost my self-possession at once. ~
Truth.
When man plays cards for stak,
ne sometimes gets a Philadelphia
Record.
The world is full of people who neve
aspire above pulling something down
-MiIa0auhee Journal.
"Blykins says his wife is one in ten.
$50 she is. She's the one and Blykins
is the cipher Wasbington Star.
He-I expect to make you the heroine
OF my next novel. She-On the strength
OF the fact that I read your last onep-
N. Y San.
did your sister enjoy the serenade
last night? Little Jimmy Yes; she
and Mr. Blinks laughed at everything
you sang.
Have you seen much of Mr. Bankley
since you met him?" Florence-Mercy
no; we were married after a very short
engagement.
Perdita-Has young DR.. Pellet start
ed in practice yetP Penelope Y es
There goes one of his funerals now
Pearson's Weekly.
$50 Miss Fullcash did not marry Lord
Lackrocks, after ALL" mo; she came
back the peerless beauty she always
was."-BroobLyaa Life.
Wigwag-Why did you call your vol
ume of poems Autumn Leavesp" Scrib-
bler-Because autumn leaves get red.-
Philadelphia Record
HAS she given you any encourage
mentp" 20, yes! She. says she will
get all of her fathers money when he
dies. ."-LJe's Calendar.
Hello, Biggs; you look all tired out
Been on tripp" "Well should say so.
followed the rector clear through the
service without any help"
Upton-I hear that De Sharp has been
losing money lately. Downton-Im-
possible. He is not a capitalist; he is
promoter.-M. 7. Weekly.
The donkey carries three-quarters of
his own weight long distances. This
proves beyond all doubt that he is a
donkey.-Boston Transcript.
an your consultation, doctor, with
DR.. Bolus on Bibbs' case did you agree?"
"Only on one point. aAh! What was
thatp" Our fees. IN 7. San.
At the Butcher's-Why did you put
up that large mirror near the door?
To prevent seryant-girls from watch
ing the scales.-F7iege'sde BIaetter.
Admirer-Where did you get all this
wonderful strength Famous Strong
Mani was carver in boarding
house for three years.-SyracaSse Post.
"Why are you dissatisfied with the
hata 1t is very becoming. Mrs. Style
4 thought SO, too, but when I wore it
to church not person turned to look at
it.
%Er-about this coming prize fight,
said the reporter. "WeIl?" asked the
pugilist. as it to be fought with bare
mouths or telephonesP = Indianapolis
Journal.
Wife-And did Mr. Gay really say
was positively dove-like? Husband
Something of that sort. He said you
were pigeon-toed, I believe.-Bosto,e
Transcript.
Radbourn-I hear that Olcott has
been discharged from the police force.
Do you know what for? Chesney-
Yes Refusing to accept a bribe.-
Brooklyn Life.
@Ef give you your dinner" asked |
Mr.. Haiseed, will you turn the grind |
stone awhile?" "Naw," said Dismal |
Dawson, II amt no crank agitator. y
Cincinnati Tribune.
She-They thought the world of each
other. He reigned in her heart and she
reigned in his. He-And they didn't
know enough to go in when it reigned. /
Boston Transcript
@How did you come to break with
Miss Sweetlipsp You always said she
was as good as gold" Yes; but got
acquainted with girl who had the
gold. Boston Transcript
Full Blown Rose-What pity, dear,
you are engaged SO young. You will
never have the fun of refusing man.
Bud-No, but I've had the fun of ac-
cepting e.-Aaneqicaqo HebreaO.
. MANY er smaht man hez wheels in
lis haid," said Uncle Eben. "When dey
wuhks right, dey show his smahtness
on, but when dey gifts out er gear de
trouble begins. y Washington Star.
Stage-stuck Maiden-What happy
life you must lead! I wish l was an
actress. Actress-O, there are disap-
pointments. The man [ kissed in the
play to night is my husband.-Ltte.
Lemuel-Here's piece in the paper
telling how men get rich in Wall street
waterin' stock, but durnedsif it seq what
kind er stock. Mrs. Lemuel - It's
prob'ly them lambs and bulls.-Iruth.
City Missionary Ito an Eighth Ward
tough)-My. friend, have you any par
ticular fortep Tough-Say, Gully, what
cher givia' us? don't b'long to de
fourt'; l hang cut in de ate!-M. Y.
Journal.
&Hello" said the yachting cap to the
straw hat, you're looking pretty brown.
Had your vacation?" NO." said the
straw hat, "but l expect to get off for
the winter in few days. -Phtladel-
phta Ledger.
Mr.. Blunt-My dear Count, you re-
mind me of a. watermelon. Count-In
vat way? Mr.. Blunt-Although you
are very seedy, yon are admitted into
our best families without question:
Texas Siftdegs.
Congratulate me" said the young
author. whats the matter?" said his
friend. 'Has your book attained sue
cessP" mo. But it's on the road to it.
| have just been accused of plagiarism. /" ,
Washington Star. 1
Minnie-She was once engaged to
the Earl of Earlsmere, but her mother
broke it off. May-Why? Minnie
She had been under the impression
that the alliance would make her a
dowager Countess Vogue.
Anita-Do you know l like appear
ing in the living pictures better than ,
any other kind of show l was ever IMP {
thatP Anita-We don't
have to have any dress rehearsals, you t
Boston NeaUs. '
Miss Kitty-Oh, Mr. Binks, we were l
talking about you at the very moment
L