Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-03-03
WHAT WE ARE DOING.


WHAT WE ARE DOING.
Old school aud New school Manners
Compared and Contrnxted.
From Harper's Bazaar.
Most arts require long study and appli-
cation, but the most useful art of all that
of pleasing, requires only the desire" SO
writes Lord Chesterfield in his Letters to
his Son. which contain many valuable hints
on manners quite as well worth observing
today they were at the time in which
they were written. Whether our manners
have improved with the advance of our
civilization is an open question. In the
rush and hurry of modern American life.
particularly in the larger cities. We have
no time for the formahties and graces
which characterized the manners of those
whom we now call gentlemen and ladies Of
the old school; but when We are so fortu-
nate as to meet one of these delightful per-
sons, we have still sense enough to appre-
ciate the dignity and superiority of their
| manners as compared with those of the
modern day. Etiquette was considered es-
sential i'm the time OF our grandmothers.
ana certain rigid rules of department were
part of every well-brec and ''genteel' young
woman's education. Old ladies of that gen
| Grafton must be justly Mortified at the
lounging manners which girls cultivate
nowadays. and at the noticeable careless
ness in. their attitude toward their elders.
! which would seem to be disrespectfnl ana
1 familiar. Perhaps, in justice 10 the young
/ folks, this is not altogether their own fault,
! as the older woman neither exacts nor eN-
poets to have any Difference shown her.
Perhaps too. with this lack OF formality
| there is an increase Of sympathy existing
between the young girl and her seniors.
| But, with all this, we somehow miss the
| sweet, restfCl. PLACID old lady, such as We
! Of an older generation remember our grand
mother 10 have been-a lady whose very
presence was a benediction. and TO whom
We showed only our best side. Now most
women of fifty dress like girls OF twenty.
and even at sixty the style Of dress is only
slightly modified; gray hair is worn in the
most modern fashion, and even gray bangs
are sometimes seen; one never, or rarely
/ ever, finds caps worn. and in fact. there
are no old ladies even at seventy. An
elderly woman who esdeaVors, by adopting
the fashions of the moment 10 disguise her
age always fails 10 deceive any one, and
misses the charm Of repose and calm which
should come years increase. In defense
of this il is sid that woman of sixty Is
too active and energetic member OF So
ciety TO grow old gracefully: she has abso-
lutely no time TO sit placiily down with her
work or her book and 10 look serene and
happy: she has her household cares. which
are many and Nexatious: her various social
duties, which are eXacting and unsatis-
factory and her charities. which REQ slire
thought and active personal attention. The
younger members OF the household all have
their respective duties, each ole nlllng the
Gay very full that their elder gets little
or no assistance from them. Ours Is
busy life, and the result is that about fve
times as many duties and cares devolNe
upon each person she can possibly ac-
complish. and i'm her haste to perform them.
thoughtful and gracious and formal man
ners must be neglected.
In England married women wear caps
: more commonly than here. and very sweet
and matrOnIy they look in them. In France.
too. this headdress is worn, and nothing
can be daintier and more becoming tnan 4
French cap. Occasionally one meets a GER
tain lady in New York who put on caps
: when she was married at eighteen, ana mas
. worn them ever since. They are made now
. of real lace and pinned on 10 the hair with
very handsome jeweled pins. In the even
; ing for very full dress she wears feathers
, In her hair, fastened with an aigrette or
Jewels. This is very elegant. but beyond
the means Of many persons. A simpler cap
would be equally pretty, and the teathers
: fastened with an old-fashioned orooch Mould
be quite as becoming and effective There
should be the same dignity In ones oress
as there is in ones manners, ana trlnlhB as
) this may seem. 1t would have an influence
on those with whom one comes IN contact
and one would be treated with correspond
: ing respect.
t one Of the suggestions given by a mind
curer" is that If the patient feels nstless
and good for nothing and is lolhng ABOUT
I in a loose gown, she shall Immediately care
, fully make a toilet and put on her best
I dress. No sooner is this accomplished thah
the result desired is obtained. She pulls
4 herself together, as il were, and feels ike
! another person. Another instance OF the
I effect of clothes on ones mental attitude
: was a rule which obtained in young
! woman's boarding school, None OF the
girls were allowed to wear shawls or wrap
pers in the house: the princ,bai nseih ls
dress induced great carelessness ana inoo-
: lence of manner and loss Of thought
: That our ancestors regarded dress with
> much respect we judge from OLD Journals
nd eft a
: girls first ball dress, taken from letter
written in 1855. by a young woman OF NJ
teen 10 her maiden aunt: Il went 10 the
n hall on the 22d and enjoyed myself very
:, much: did not take any cold. we haa
beautiful music and an excellent supper;
: at least it looked nice but 4 ono nos es'
sick Perhaps YOU would like to know how
/, In was dressed l bought me bishops
e lawn dress at 40 cents ss.1 ut was We
" 10 make IL She made IL Grecian bocist
= and leg-of-mutton sleeves plated down
:: She said that rufaed sleeves were entirely
II ont of fashion. I had piece OF pink gauze
N r,bhon tied in a bow at the bottom OF tbs
h plaits and a piece Of same tied around ms
waist and tied I'm a bow at the point.
IT had a pink Donna Maria scarf with tasse
Y a. ~ end and fastened on the left shoui
; der with a very small bouquet. j had a
IS nsvv naIr OF white kid. and a new pair Of
J. French slippers ana a ace uneer-hen o
D. inU I wore a thin flannel petticoat and
is thick one with another cambria muslin
one over that. I had on a pair OF worste,
stock,ngs and silk ones over them. I hat
nv hair curled at the BARRIERS; had q
sit still two hours TO have IL done. I wen
IS 70 the ball at o'clock and got home at :
l. Miss Sarah Hildreth was the belle; sh
m Looked very beautiful; she had on a satii
N dress with a figured blond over that. and
:, black rnantilla. Her blond dress was =
ie long that 1t dragged seven or eight inches
te II is said in fashionable society that ST
g. very bad form to say please" or than
"a YOU particularly to servant. but, not
n wthstanding this. no gentleman or lad
m ever omts any act OF courtesy. even ~ n
W inferior. Much could be accomplished 4
c. cultivatinC respect and attention from tte'
is juniors II the older persons would acknow
ne edge any little act Of p1liteness with
I'd era c!ous word or smile. To Quote Chester
Sc field again: "a mans good breeding
L. HIS hest security AGAINST c.he~ people
II -,-..,-4-~a SPECTATOR