The Wichita daily eagle., 1894-01-27
SOCIAL is ROBBED
NATIVE HEATHEN NABS FOREIGN
MISSIONARY FUNDS.
While the Good Work Goes on and
Merrimcnt Rcigns. He Folds
up the Exchequer anc
Silently Skedaddles
From the Party.

| Just now the young ladies of the Re
| formed church, corner of Topeka avenue
and Lewis street, are short on their supply
| of tender mercy,
Tney have come to realize that even the
sanct;fied confines of church are not
exempt from the treacherous tread OF the
brother human who yearns to get bis
clutches around somebody's else chartels.
They know now that there are men in this
cold, cold world who will take anything
from brick house TO bad cold if they
have chance.
| Thursday evening there was church
social at the Reformed church. IL pro
gressed finely. EAerybody was in a
wild frenzied struggle for the one
oyster that was supposed TO be
! lurking somewhere in the stea ming
depths of the paliid oyster soup. Every
body wore broad smiles and sticky wads
of fruit cake on their faces. Joy was un-
confined, as WAS also a large quantity Of
| seal brown coffee.
As the phalaux of fruit cake, coffee and
| that moist food, known by the alias OF
OYSTER soup, successfully and successfully
stormed the appetites of the 500 people
| pICSCAb q CHdAEC tOoh PioSI- tONA>s
| book and the appetite are closer to each
other than the anatomical charts indicate.
The more fruit cake that went down the
more spondulix came up. The fuller the
stomach became the more quickly the
organ known as the purse relaxed.
| The sale of the dainties grew apace
| The money was to go to the lone
missionary on Africas distant shore.
II was to enable him to buy
| food for himself while he was lodging
| around in society that can fricases q
man aud do him up in tomato sauce with
delicacy of expression that would put q
Bengal tiger to shame.
But the lone missionary and the re.
| ceipts of this church social have missed
connections. The lone missionary will
wait many a long day for the cash. He
| will sit by the wild sea waves and listen
to the natives discussing whether he
ought to be broiled or simply made into
sausage, for many moon before the
money comes.
There are not only heathens in Africa
| but in this country.
The money accumulated at this social SC
| rapidly that one of the young ladies took
| it in charge. She dropped the yellow
dross into purse and glided into class
room. Then she deity f!pped the ex.
cheQuer behind a Sunday school chart
hanging on the wall.
| After that, beamlng with the knowledge
of clever performance, she glided back
, among the coffee cups and the
J jewellers. This was about 10
| O'Clock. Along about the witching
hour of midnight. when according to
| Colonel Shakespeare, church-yards get
| fractions, the social waned. When the
last young man had destroyed the last
piece OF cake, the young lady glided back
| into the class room. She slipped her long
patrician fingers behind the chart and
grasped a handful of dark c0lored air.
| That was all.
The pocket-book and the money were
gone. Every body hunted high and low.
nut to no avail. The purse was gone.
There was great deal of excitement and
it is said that some of the yonng ladies sat
down in the midst of the devastation Of
coffee-cups and fruit cake remnants with
the firm determination to cry.
But no one cried They decided on q
more sensible course. They have sus-
picon in regard to who the miscreant who
gobbled the cash. They are watching for
him. Yesterday, a systematic effort was
made to ensnare him. but late last night,
it had not met with success.
OF course the sum was small, but it
would have been something to the lone
missionary who mourns by the seashore.