The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-07-06
HOW THE BRITISH
BEAT 'PHRASTUS

IN she says slla'n't spend enc cent
for crackers her torpydos, ner go down
to see the p'rade. yer any of the boys.
She says I've got to st:y hum and Keep
still this Fourth"
The prospect was evidently dire to
Tlcophrastus Wilson, but the person
10 whom he poured out his woes only
twinklcd pair of merry eyes. Harvey
Harris was several years older than
1'lrastus, but lie listened with an ill.,
terest very comforting to the smaller
boy.
"She says kin take the old hoss-
pistlc N fire 1t off once down behind
the barn. N kin tie dads old flag
TO Il broom stick and wave 1t about all
l wantcr. Who wants an old broom
stick round, anyway? That aint no
Fourth OF July"
'Phastus sniffcd-he almost snivcll-
ed. His hearer laughed outright.
Say. 'PhraSt,iS, what under the can
cpy did you do last. Fourth that makes
Aunt 'Scilla settle down on you like
this!"
"Nothin'.' said 'Phrastus. sullcnly.
"Oh. psllaw! l know you and l
know Aunt Priscilla. She'd never cor
ncr you up so close without some rca-
son. Honest, now, out with it. and
Ill see what can do for YOU
There was cat" said 'Phrastus,
digging his toes into the ground.
What about the cat?"
''sShe told me to give him his dinner,
nd l put tire-cracker under the pan.
1t didn't hurt him none. but he never
come fer week; md he won't tech
goldfish sence."
"Oll, ho! What clse?"
1.-The settin' hen." said 'Phrastus,
scratching his right ear. Il knowed
she wanted her broke up, n l bet
couple o crNckerS'd do it."
well, did thcy?'
Guess you'd n thought so! They
set the nest a1irv. and most burnt up
the chicken-housc." 'I'hrastus actually
Srinned.
"Ah. ha! Go ahead; that wasn't all.
What put on the finishing touch!'
II s'pose twas the new wasll-bilcr,"
said 'Phrastus. frowning. I'VE TUX 1t
out behind the barn TO light Il bunch
i'll, My, Didn't they pop! Then we fer
got 1t teetotal, and come wasll-day no.
body knowed where the b'ilcr was"
And when they found it?"
''Suthin' had stepped on it, mutterel
'Phraslus. "'ut I don't think folks
ought to hold things Il hull year"
Harvey threw Ills head back and
laughed SO heartily that 'Phr;,stus
stopped frowning and giggled.
Now. look here" said Harvey. when
he had had his laugh out. Il haven't
forgotten how you found Frowsy for
me last summer. and If you'll promise
not to use them round the house or
the barn. Or anywhere where they'll
disturb Aunt 'Scilla. Ill put half a
dozen packs under the big stone be-
hind the barn for you Fourth of July
morning."
ITS awful good of your 'Phrastus's
cheeks grew shining red. "rherc shall
not nobody hear 'em 'cept me; Ill
take 'cln down to the woods. And sGy,
Ill hunt your dog every time he gets
lost-tlont you give any Olnrr Teller
tho job. What they got in that wag-
on:"
ut must be tile English ram Mr..
Turner's been llying." said Har-
vcy. as lie turned to look. Gave
two hundred dollars for him. guess
Ill walk down and see him when they
take him out"
wo-hundred-lollars for Il sheep"
'Phrastus hoped over the fence and
trotted along by his friends side
What pile Of money for one sheep.
Say. Harvey. u you jest as lief put in
a box of matches and i'-cent flag stead
of two O. them bunclles!"
Just exactly"
Tile wagon turned into Mr.. Turner's
barnyarl. and the bOys followed 1t.
II bet I'd never pay them oh British
two hundred dollars for sheep" said
'I'hrastus. thrusting his lartls deep ill.,
to his pockets as lie watched the men
carefully lower the Cotswold rankin.
George NIL" to the ground.
What do you know about the Brit
isli Bub!" asked one Of the men.
Il know we whipped 'em 'twicct-
Fourth Of July" said 'Phrast,ls.
well. II seems they can beat us on
sheep" laughed tho man.
II 'spcct IL Mr.. Turner had looked
round he'd got Jest as good II one in
'M"rlker for ton dollars" said 'Phras-
tus. They can beat us on anytling!
Having reached the ground safely,
King George stamped his foot and
shook his curved llorns. Then. as Mr..
Turner entered the yard by a side gate,
the ram dashed forward with uneXpect-
cd quickncss. knocked his new owners
feet from under him ana laid him fiat
on his back
Hes got II good smart TEMPER" re-
marked one OF the assistants. as King