The Hawaiian gazette., 1894-01-26
THE CHRONICLES OF GROVER.

Now, in the first year OF the second
reign OF Grover, whose surname il
Cleveland, there arose great clamor
and cutlery about certain islands of
the sea; for in times past the ruler Of
those islands was queen who was
not all that she should be,
and the people thereof waxed
wroth because of her wickedness, in
somuch that they rose up against her
aud took the government from her.
And when they had given the gov
eminent TO one of their own number
the chief men of the islands went
down into n ship and sailed for
America, where Benjamin, wise
man then ruled, and they told Ben
jamin of all that had been done; and
Benjamin gave ear unto them, and
when they asked that he would take
the islands and make them n part of
his own country, he said: Verify,
these islands are n gOodly heritage;
they are pleasant aud fruitful, aud |
will take them iu."
So straightway he wrote Il message
unto the SenaJ- and sent n treaty,
thar the Senate might agree 10 IL.
II.
But il came TO pass that IN the
eleventh month of that same year the
people elected Grover to be ruler, be-
cause they thought anybody would
do.
And after Grover was crowned he
also sent a message unto the Senate,
and said: Return to me the treaty
which Benjamin hath sent you, for /
like il not, and will not let you ratify
it, because IT Is not good.
So the Senate sent the treaty to
Grover, and he called in unto him
Walter, his Prime Minister, whom
the tribe of Benjamin had cast aside.
And Grover said unto him: "What
shall do so that Benjamin shall not
profit 10y the getting OF these islands?
For am | not the ruler of this land;
and am 1 not set on high to show the
people the right way? When | laugh
do not the Democrats also, and when
l grieve do not the Mugwumps so, and
when | frown do not all the people
tremble?
''But this Benjamin despise, for he
hath gotten to himself great glory by
this thing, and if 1 follow him, then
will all the people say, 'Lol he follow
eth Benjamin. Tell me, Walter, what
is meet 10 do, or by the great horned
spoon, off comes your head.n
Then Walter trembled, and drew
near, and said: "Let not my lord
Grover be troubled. If thou hatest
Benjamin, do not / hate him more?
Hath he not snubbed me and cast me
down? Wherefore now let us conspire
against Benjamin; let us send unto
these islands Blount, the Georgian, to
spy out the land and see if peradven-
ture he may be able to show us a way
out Of the hole"
Now, Grover was well pleased, and he
sent for Bount, aud when he was come,
he drew near and kissed Grover on
bis second chin, and Grover was more
tickled than ever, and gave him ten
dollars and ticket TO the land of
Honey Lulu, and letter ot intrO!uc-
ton TO Lilly wOcky-lany.
And when BlOuut was gone Grover
called for wine and was exceedingly
glad, and he danced and sang "Wait
Till the Clouds Roll By' in such a
loud voice that the hired girl thought
the palace was atire.
And il was so that il happened as
Grover wished, and his spy reported
all those things which he had been
sent to do.
Then did Grover send an Ambassa-
dor, whose name was Willis, to those
islands, and he sent letter to the
chief ruler thereof, and another to
Lilly-wocky-Iany; and the letter to
the chief ruler did Willis have in his
right hand, and the letter to Lilly did
he have in his inside pocket. And in
the letter TO the chief ruler he pro-
fessed friendship, and I'm the letter to
Lilly he said: "Behold, now / am
angry because you have been abused
by BENJAMIN and Stevens. Get thee
up now and make ready, for shall
by my own servants restore thee; for
am / not Grover, and who shall dare
to stand before me ?"
Now,wh these things were known,
all the chief Republicans were ex-
ceeding angry, and the Senators said:
"Who is this Grover, that he taketh
it upon himself 10 make war, and to
set up thrones, and to tear down re-
publics? Let Us say unto him: Come,
now, Grover, show US thire hand.
Tell US all thou hast done in this bust
ness, and that right early"
So Grover, fearing lest he should
too much provoke the people, sent
message unto the Senate, telling some
Of the things he had done about the
islands, and making excuses for him
self.
But the message pleased not the Re-
publicans, nor the Democrats, nor
anyone, save those who were 81 no
party and no faith save Growers.
Then Grover, after he had sent the
called unto him Daniel, his
chief CONSIDER, and said unto him:
Daniel, thou seest that ! am i'm a
ieep, dark hole. Yea, / am sOrely
pressed. am beset behind and be-
lore, and mine enemies give me no
rest neither day nor night. There IN
Reed and BOutelle, and HOar and Hill,
and Dana, the meznest Of all. Oh, IL
I could but set down on 'em, Dan,
hen would I squeeze 'em hard I'D
.hoW 'em where the Constitution was