davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
OLU t1lCKURY'S WAYS.
Two Characteristic Stories OF Jsckson's
Biuntness When lie Was President

General Armstrong, assistant com.
missioner Of Indian affairs, thinks that
Andrew jackson was one Of the greatest
men this country ever produced and
has a number of stories which were told
him by his uncle. who was an intimate
friend Of Old Hickory One of them is
very characteristic of the man
Lewis Cass, secretary of war, was
over at the White House one day with
some important papers for the president
to sign, among them being court mar.
tial findings
"Cass. what is this2' inquired Jack.
son as he was about to write his name
to the document
1T is court martial" answered
Cass
what have to do with it2' asked
tho president
'lt dismisscs an officer from the serv.
ice, and the president must sign such or
ders."
Jackson toyed with tho paper and
said musingly: "Dismisses him from
the army, eh2 Why2'
Drunkenness; getting drunk aud
falling down on parade or something of
that kind" answered tho secretary
"Who ordered tho court?'' asked Jack.
son.
General Scott" answered Cass
"Who is itl' inquired the president,
with more interest
Inspector General Kraun," replied
Cass.
"Whatm shoute jackson. My old
friend Kraunl Ctas, just read what
that paper says.
The secretary read the usual form of
the court martial sentence in such eases
The president then took the paper and
wrote across the bottom where no was
about to sign his name;
1.-The within findings arc disapprov.
ed. and Colonel Kraun is restored Ia
his duty and rank "
He passed the paper back to Secreta.
ry Cass and said, with his usual vehe
uience:
BY tho Eternal. Cass, when you aud
Scott serve your country as well as that
man has you can get drunk on duty ov.
CRY day"
A young man from Tennessee, son Of
friend of General Jackson's, came to
Washington for II place. He looked
about and found what no wanted II
was in tho war department and filled
by q very efficient Wing, whom Secre-
tary Cass would not remove The young
man told Jackson the situation, and
Cass was sent for.
'Cass," said the president. "this
young man, son Of my old friend, says
you have got place in the war depart
ment filed by Whig which you won't
give him.
Secretary Cass explained that the
duties of the office were Of peculiar
kind, and he could get no one to fill the
place if tho man now in it should be re-
moved. jackson fiared up,
by the Eternal, Cass, do you mean
to tell me you have an office in your de
partment filed by u Wing which cam
be filled by Democratf Then abolish
the officeW
Tho young man got his place. Wash
ington Post.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
Cardinal Gibbons ON Suffrage.

Cardinal Gibbons, in recent sermon
at the Baltimore cathedral, said on the
question of woman suffrage;
The church follows the teachings of
st. Paul, that woman is equal to man,
when he declares that God makes nc
distinction as to nationality, race or
sex. 1t seems to me fearful to contem-
plate what would have been the con-
dition of society today il it had not been
for the restraining, sanotifying and pu-
rifying influence Of woman. Woman
does not today exercise the right of suf-
frage. She cannot VOTE and am heart
lily glad of it. hope the day will never
come when she can vote. and IL the
right is granted her hope she will re-
greet it, even though there are some mis-
guided women who think they want it.
Rest assured, II woman entered politics,
she would be sure to carry away with
her some Of the mud and dirt of the po-
litical contact. She, too, would lose
some Of the influence which she now
exerts.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
Women and Banks.

Said a bank cashier of this city:
"Some few days ago a woman came in
with check for $500 made payable to
her. / didn't know her and refused 20
cash it without the Identification of the
maker signifying that the Endorsement
was o. X. She didn't understand what
/ meant, but seemed to think l was re-
fusing for pure cussedness.
"'But, madam, it is against the bank
rules to give any money to people we
don't know, Iexplained. don't know
you. Any one might find check ON the
street and bring it in here to be cashed.
'She regarded this as reflection ON
her honesty. What's that you say,
young MANI shaking her parasol at me.
And for once l blessed my cage, which
protected me from her indignation. i
might have found the check on the
street, you young whipper snapper you!
What do you take me for? I'd have you
know that I'm an honest woman and
not going around picking up checks. >
81 believe it, madam, ] said, try
ing to appease her; but, all the same, l
can't give you the money without TIE
maker identifying your Endorsement. "
''In great dudgeon she went out and
returned in half an hour with the prop
er Endorsement. Viciously thrusting the
check in the window, she said, Now,
young man, refuse to give me that mon
ey If you dareP
"As l handed her out $500 in bills
she remarked sotto voce: Picked it up
in the street, did l? UmphP P"-Phila'
delphia Press.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
ANOTHER DElUGE.
The Boy Believed In Gods Promise, but
Was a Bit Scared.

was u bit scared.
Boys-that is, small boys-haveq queer
ideas in their little heads, often finding
expression in unique speech, That
they are truthful, or at least intend to
be so, goes without saying During the
recent local food little boy about !
years old stood at the window watching
the rain as it rained 1t seemed to him
that he had never seen anything like it;
had never in his brief experience no.
ticed such strong indications of regu.
lar old fashioned food. Finally he con
fided his fears to his mother. asking {
she didn't think that God was going 10
drown ont the world again
Here was the golden opportunity for
impressing upon the mind of confding
childhood the teachings Of the Bible. So
she said calmly Don't you remember,
Archibald, that you learned in Sunday
school that God promised that he
wouldn't drown the world againS" The
little fellow watched the increasing rain
a moment in silence while he pondered
earnestly on the momentous question.
"Yes, he said slowly. ''yes. s'pose
I've got to believe what God says. but
-but"-and he shut his lips hard
"but this is a devil of shower. -
Saltwater (Minn. Gazette
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
NEEDED DIETING.
An Attenuated Horse That Excited an
Ofhcer's Unnecessary Sympathy.


A South Chicago policeman came
across an attenuated sorrel horse tied to
hitching post the other day. He wait.
ed few minutes until the owner ar.
rived and then said:
why don't you feed your horse
somethingi I'd wager that he hasn't t
seen an cat since he was O colt. Do you
feed him on the photograph Of bale of
hayf"
"Mr. Officer. you don't know that
horse, or you wouldn't talk that way"
II don't know the horse, but know
that you ought to be run in for working
q starved beast like that It's case for
the s. p. @. A. Do you weigh out his
food to him on an apothecary's scalesf'
Officer, before you say any more do
me favor. Get in that buggy and
drive around block. and when you
come back here tell me what to feed
him. III do whatever you say"
The policeman got into the buggy and
started off. He thought he was in q
merry go round driven by cyclone pow.
er. He braced his feet against the dash
board and hung on to the reins until his
wrists cracked and there was Shove,
of heels all over the road The buggy
slowed around corners on one wheel.
and when the horse finally landed up
against the hitching post with its front
legs over the shafts the officer was so
dazed that he couldn't speak for min
ute.
WELL" queried the owner. what
do you think I'd better feed the horse'"
IF owned him." answered the po.
liceman sternly. "I'd feed him on
some good reliable an@sthetio. "-Chi.
oago Tribune.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
HE WISHED HIMSELF A poa.

~ wish I was n dog" he said.
with evident disgust,
And savageiy his clnching fists
Into his pockets thrust.
His wife bestowed hor tenderest care
Upon her puppy Tim,
But not kindly worl W took
Would she accord 10 him.
The gravcst error she commits
OF all her married nt"
Who casts aside as mo account"
The duties of wife.
I've seen u frequently myself
And mover will forget
She frowned and scowleh upon EEL
"hub.
But smiled upon Dor pet.
I do not wonder that a man
In such domestic hog,
Will sink intp the deepest wos
And wish himself y dog
10 had such n wife as thai,
On sweet revenge I'd feast.
I'd make her squarely toe the mark
And XIII the tarnal beast
Nebraska Journal.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
A Disagreeable Test.

1t has been asserted that when a rail
road express train stops very suddenly
the passengers suffer in the same degree
as though they had fallen from third
story window. The Pittsburg Dispatch
is authority for this statement As the
majority of persons who have fallen
from third story windows have been
killed, it is impossible to secure their
testimony ON the subject and quickly
stopped train passengers refuse to make
the test. Exchange.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
On His Knee Mayhap.

They sat at opposite ends Of the sofa.
''Be mine" he pleaded.
81 am not in position to entertain
such proposal" she answered coldly.
He was not Of the sort Of man to re-
quire the impact Of tabernacle falling
on his head ere he would tumble, and
he shortly effected rearrangement of
positions mutually satisfactory, and Of
nature to facilitate the matter in
hand Detroit Tribune
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12

Corporal Piton applies for leave Of
absence
"On what grounds?' inquired the
colonel
"Ihave just lost my mother, colonel. :"
"All right, acrenomdunchienl Leave
granted, but see this doesn't happen
again!'-Charivari.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12

The camel's foot is q soft cushion pc.
culiarly we'll adapted to the stones and
gravel over which it is constantly walk
ing. During a single journey through
the Sahara horses have worn out three
sets Of shoes, while the camel's feet are
not even sore.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
Information For u Tourist.

SIS it still the custom in this country
to reach for your gun to back it up aft
er you have called man a liar9" asked
q tourist.
ut air not, stranger, replied the
early settler, "and it never wuz. 1t has
alters ben the custom in tho best society
of Yaller Dog to reach for the gun fust. I"
-Indianapolis Journal
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12

Newark, N. j.. was first called Mil
ford. from the name of town in Con-
necticut. Its name was changed at the
suggestion of the Rev. Abraham Pier.
son, an early minister in the town, who
had been ordained at Newark, in Eng
land.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
Poetic License.

Mrs. Gore of louisville was reading
'"The Ancient Mariner" to her husband,
and had reached the line
Water. water everywhere. nor any drop to
drink
Here the colonel interrupted her with
the remark:
What reckless poetic licensed Why
should they want to drink water?"-
Pittsbur0 Chrorioia
tne big Sandy, IN kentucky, toOS iss
English name from its sand bars. Tho
Indians called it the Chatteroi. mean
inc "the SANDY river "
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-12-12
VOLUME 3.
Dptrls.
HOTEL MCCONNELL,
REYNOLDSVILLE. PA.
FRINK J. BLACK. Proprietor.

The leading hotel of the town. Hoadquar-
tiers Tor commercial men. steam heat, free
bus, bath rooms and closets ON every Hoor,
sample rooms, billiard room, telephone con-
nocilOns Nr.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
What Minnie Wanted.

Speaking of children, the following
little tale comes from one who is well
versed in child lore and is the chill
dren's friend:
Mamma and papa were going from
home for time, and little Minnie
was sent to Uncle Johns for visit.
The small girl was so homesick her
big cousin tried to entertain her with
cards. This never failed to stop the
ready tears.
When the visits were over and the
family gathered at home, Minnie
missed her games and one day broke
out in a passion of grief, crying for
her ''tards."
The father and mother were utter
ly at a loss for time. Good Metho-
dists, they never had a card in the
house and had no suspicion of the
contamination to which the child had
been exposed at Uncle Johns.
At last, in despair, all the visiting
and business cards in the house were
collected for Minnie, but she threw
them scornfully aside and electrified
her parents by demanding the "deuth
of spades" and "ath of hearts. Buff
falO News,
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
George Eliot.

Some fresh anecdotes of George
Eliot are related in Youmans' CORE.
spondence. Mr.. Lewes had arranged
to take a ramble in the country with
Herbert Spencer and Youmans, but
was prevented at the last moment
and dispatched the following note
my Dear Philosopher Polly is i'll,
and as husbands are indivisible land
for that reason probably no matter) ]
am sorry to say I shall not have leg OF
a cerebellum at your service. Faith
fully yours, G. II. Lewes." The quip
on the divisibility of matter is a fair
specimen of Lewes' jokes. At anoth-
er time Spencer called at the Lewes
house just as George Eliot was fin
ishing '"The Mill on the Floss, and
Lewes, who was leaving the house
for an errand, met him on the steps.
"Oh, Spencer" he exclaimed. 'do go
in and comfort Polly. She is crying
her eyes out over the death of her
children Tom and Maggie Tuliver). ="
John Fiske's Life of Edward Lily
ing ston Youmans.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
Milton was extremely anxious to
have his poems properly punctuated.
What Is a Ledger?

What is a lodger2" asks a CORE.
spondent. We thought everybody
knew what a ledger is, and that such
a simple matter was hardly worth
discussing. A ledger, in short, is a
man who maintains impecunious
people in af1uence.
He provides his landlady with tea
and pocket money, and his landlord
with tobacco and pipes. He furnishes
the domestic cat with fish, spirits,
cold meat, bread, sardines, glass.
earthenware, books and fruit.
He saves his landlady's eldest SOD
the necessity of buying collars, ties,
pocket handkerchiefs or gloves and
supplies her daughter with books,
scent, pomade, brushes and combs,
writing paper and envelopes.
He pays the gas bill for the whole
household and keeps the whole es-
adjustment in Goals. Such is the
ledger. Any more questions, pleasei
London Tit-Bits.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
Effect of a Missing Letter.

A missing letter sometimes plays
havoc with the sense Of a phrase, as
the following examples will show:
The conflict was dreadful, and the
enemy was repulsed with considera-
bic (s)1Iughter. In consequence of
the numerous accidents occasioned
by skating on the river measures will
be taken to put stop to it. Miss
Roberts was politely drawn up the
ships side by means Of (c)hair. A
gentleman was yesterday broughtup
to answer a charge of having (b)eaten
a coachman for having demanded
more than his fare, and another was
accused of having stolen a small
Dox out of the mail. The stolen
property was found in his waistcoat
pocket. London Answers.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
Manhattan Commission Co.
500 3fd ST, s., Minneapolis, MINI.

SU3 3fa ii, B., MINNEAPOLIS, MINI.
Grain Provisions and Stocks
bought and sold on all the
leading markets of the U. s.,
either for cash or on margins.
Orders by mail or telegraph
receive our careful and prompt
attention. We place orders
for accounts with margins re-
quired as follows:
GRAIN: 1000 to 10000 bu.
margin, let, per bushel and
upwards.
PORK: SO to 5000 bbls.,
margin 25cts per Dbl. and
upwards.
STOCKS: 10 to / 900 shares
margin 81 per Share and
upwards.
Daily market circular fur
nlshed customers on applica-
ton.
Our Motto; Honest Deal
ing; Prompt Settlements
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
Only Two of Them Left.

what we want is novelty, my
boy" said an old comedian as he
and the heavies stopped to discuss
the fly by night company they pro-
posed taking out. Tanks and steam
engines are played out. We must
give them a novelty that will stir
their blood. Let's hire some real ac-
tors and play one of the old time
blood and thunder pieces"
"Where will we get the actors, my
boy?" answered the old tragedian
as he fondled his cigar lovingly and
buttoned up his coat. "Booth is
dead; Barrett is gone. Of all there
are only thou and I left"
Then the two doughty old fakirs
were so overcome with their utter
loneliness that they bowed their
heads and wept until it was time to
take another. Philadelphia Call
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
ON MExlco's FRONTIER.
Captain Bourke Describes a Typical Rancho
on the Rio Grande.

on the Rio Grande.
The Mexican rancho, from Laredo
clear down to the gulf, adheres strict
~ to the one model. To describe one
is to describe all, the differences be-
ing principally those of size and pop
ulation.
There is always "plaza" or 'pla-
ceta" in the center. IF the rancho be
unusually large, there may be two or
even three such little squares, which
serve all purposes of business, recre-
alton, or, when necessary, religious
function. From these radiate the
streets, unpaved and dusty, some
times shaded by the overhanging
branches Of trees, but oftener left to
the full glare of sun and force of
wind.
The two or three petty stores, or
''tendajos," are fond of displaying
sonorous names quite as high toned
as the prices charged. These may be
buildings of stone, but the other
structures are mainly of tho class
called in this section of Texas "teca-
ruchos" or ''jacales +"
To make a "jacap the owner in
serts half dozen stout poles of mes
quite or ebony or huisachi at the pro-
posed corners and then fills in with a
waffle work, which may or may not
be daubed with mud, according to
the exigencies of climate, the depth
Of the builders purse or his sense of
the aesthetic
Inside there may be table, and
there may not. Generally there is
none. Chairs are never seen, their
place being supplied by stools made
of an appropriately shaped root.
Should you seek for carpets, stoves,
table ware, kitchen utensils, beds
for any Of the comforts and conven-
fences which the humblest working
man demands as a right in the more
favorable parts of the Union you
would seek in vain There is abso-
lutely none to be seen. These people
live in squalor and degradation
which words cannot adequately por-
tray. Nothing in Ireland or Russia
can approach the restitution of the
lower Rio Grande, where fortunate
ly Providence has been kind enough
to grant the finest weather for the
poor in all the world Captain J. G.
Bourke, u. S. A., in Scribner's.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
TO CHICAGO.

You that with limitles5 daring and might of
gold and decision
Have furnished the world for an hour witq
that gorgeous and vanishing vision,
The fair White City, filing the earth with the
ring Of your fame,
The glory Of what you have dared, the triumph
chant of your namo,
City of dreams and tumultdous life, city OF for
tune, Chicago,
Be this your beginning of lessons only. A
mightier field
Lies reckoning grandly before you, a harvest
whose riches shall yield
In the future of justice and right goodlier
festival,
When the fruits Of the earth for your children
are won, for each and for all.
Oh, men of the brave new land, the west, the
impetuous city,
Give rein to the strength of your hearts, the
fire of your dreams, and prepare
Another and purer example of what you can
plan and can dare
The visible form of life purged clean from the
sins of the old,
The horror of weakness and want, the triumph
of self and of gold,
The life of q kindlier law, without strife, with=
out care, without crime;
OF growth and freedom for all, of brotherhood
sweet and sublime,
Archibald Lampman in Arena.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
Her Announcement.

An individual of considerable i'm
portance, by name Tootle, once at
tended a reception, accompanied by
his wife. The announcement was
made, "Mr. Tootlem "And Mrs.
Tootle, y was suggested soto voce in
corrective tones. "And Mrs. Tootle,
too!' resounded like the blast of a
horn through the room, to the evi-
dent amusement of the large assem-
:! ai.-:-.--IT .ord.nn Judy.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13
ENGLISH uRED rApgo oIRcuMvENTgo
How AN appointment With an NJ. p. In the
House of Commons Was Kept.

How AN appointment With an NJ. +. In the
House of Commons Was Kept.
English red tape is aqueer thing.
More than once ran foul of it within
the sacred precincts of the British
house of commons, i once had an en-
gagement to meet an Irish NJ. P. there
some is minutes before the house
opened. handed my card to the
blue coated functionary who guarded
the entrance corridor with the re-
quest that he hand it to the M. P. in
question.
"Sorry, sir, said he, II cawn't do
it. There haint hany messengers ere
yet, an my horders is not to take IN
hany cards myself"
Persuasion and entreaty were alike
wasted upon him. Having had pre-
vious experience of the potent int1u-
ence of shilling or two judiciously
bestowed, attempted bribery. But
he proved to be incorruptible.
The situation was embarrassing
and annoying. My engagement con-
cerned matter of some Importance
to myself at least. I knew that the
M. p. was within few hundred feet
of me, and here was l as efectually
prevented from getting at him by a
barrier of "red tape" as if there
stretched stone walls and iron bars
between us.
At last bethought me that there
was telegraph Office in the rotunda
just few yards away. rushed to
it and in hot haste indicted this mes
sage:
am here, but the blank fool of a doorkeeper
won't take my card to you.
The clerk gravely took my mes
sage. / paid as much for its trans
mission as if it had been directed to
somebody in the most remote corner
of the British isles. A telegraph boy,
being privileged to pass the door
keeper, conveyed it to the represent
ative of a somewhat turbulent con-
stituency. He responded immediate
", and had the satisfaction of know
ing that for once I had circumvented
English red tape.-New York Herald.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1894-06-13

The Republican caucus held at the
engine house in this village June 9th
was largely attended. There were
two factions in attendance, which US
ually makes such entertainments in
teresting to the lockers on, as well as
to the participants. Judge Fenton
was made chairman of the caucus and
X. G. Helgeson secretary Judge
Felton for chairman Of the delega-
ton was nominated by the Jones fac
ton ard Frank Wilcox was nominal
ed by the Bicknen party. The result
of the vote showed that the Jones
party were largely in the majority, the
Judge receiving 20, and Wilcox Il
votes. This defeat seemed to take
the wind out Of the minority and j.
r. Holton and j. D. Walters were
elected associate delegates with
hurrah and tiger, both being Jones
men.