davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly!
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup Of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax
alive; effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fe!ers
and permanently curing constipation:
1t has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval Of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in soc and 81 bottles, but it 10 man
Ifactured by the California Fig Syrup
90. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup OF Figs,
and being we'll informed, you will not
accept any substitute If offered.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
SHE LIKED WESTERN PEOPLE
An Average New York Girls Calm
Assumptiono of Superiority.

An Average New York Girls Calm
Assumptions of Superiority.
Here is q conversation that took
place some days ago between a young
New York girl, OF what is vaguely
known as the best class, and tour
list, who was resting from q long west
ern trip at one OF the higher-class wa
tering places. Parisians, it is said,
'ook upon Paris as all France. The
New York girl regards Gotham as all
The United States; and while she may
'e quite vel up in the geography and
peoples of Europe, an ignorance, show
:ng itself naked and not ashamed, &C.
:ording to the Argonaut, marks her
conversation when the west becomes
The subject OF discussion.
The girl here referred to belonged to
she class OF fairly intelligent, we'll
brought up, carefully trained New
York young women. She looked 16,
and may have been 26. She was not
pretty, and was very simply dressed,
though her father is immensely wealthy
and a good deal of a person. She had
singularly candid, childish manner
and soft and deprecating way Of
talking, as if she had been trained to
regard herself as q young person who
should be seen and not heard, in the
English style. She was speaking of
her affection for a certain watering
place on the New Jersey coast:
"There are are q good many west
arn people there" she said, and you
know like to see the western people.
OF course you don't always want to
know them but it is interesting to
Sc, them"
The gentleman assented, and said
he thought so, too.
at is broadening" she continued,
to go to those watering places where
one sees the westerners. 1t broadens
your mind to meet them. One is apt
to get rather narrow if one never goes
out OF new York or meets only New
Workers."
The gentleman acquiesced in this
extremely revolutionary sentiment:
The girl, encouraged by his tranquil
reception of her original reflections,
grew more daring.
"If'' she announced, defantly-"I
have met some of those westerners,
and I liked them. Inever knew any
till 1 went away to the seaside in the
summer, and l liked some of them.
They have broadened my mind.
There areEnice people in the west.'
The gentleman looked at her. and
said he thought they were-quite a
good many.
"You see," she went on, 1--WE never
see them in New York, and SO we
! don't really know anything about
them, unless we meet them in the
summer at the seaside. That is why
l like the seaside so much. have met
them, and l feel that my mini has
been very much broadened.
"You have never been west?" said
the gentleman, a triAe curiously.
ooh, no." she said, with little
simpering laugh; cat least, never far
ther west than Philadelphia, and, o.
course, you can't call that far"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

II have just called, Miss Simpson"
said the angry lover, ITO say farewell;
but before say it want you to know
that l have discovered your falseness,
and l despise you for it."
"Why Billy, what ever is the mat
ter?"
"Oh, you know we'll enough. Maybe
didn't pass the gate last evening and
see you with your head on another
mans shoulder. Who is the happy
man?"
But, Billy, I haven't seen any man
but you dearest; honest, haven't"
No. suppose not. Then, maybe, i
am blind, deaf and dumb, and an idiot.
Maybe you didn't have company last
even!ngw
mo one. Billy. but my best friend,
Emily. No, didn't and 1 think you
are a wretch
"And you didn't stand at the gate?"
ooh, yes, we did. We were counting
the stars !. in the big dipper-making
wishes on them"
"Oh, yes, l suppose I was blind.
Now, maybe you'll describe Emily to
me-"
"Why, she had on her Knox hat, her
black blazer suit, a white shirt waist
with q black satin tic and white duck
vest. You Know Emily, Billy"
Billv-"Um--m-! see.''
And what might have been modern
tragedy was averted and Billy made
up at once.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
A Good suggestion.

Mrs. Kennedy-Poor Fido is growing
so big! 1 did hope, when Leslie gave
him to me, that he would always stay
small, so l could keep him in the par
lor and carry him about. We dosed
him with whisky and rum until he stag
gered Just like a man. but it didn't
do any good. Perhaps I didn't try the
right thing.
Cynicus-I think the stunning process
would have been more complete if
you had bought him smoking-set and
taught him to use it.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
MANY YARDS OF RED TAPE.
Had to BE Unwound Before a Three
Cent Overpayment Was Rtghted.

Had to BE UnvvOund Before a Three
Cent Overpayment Was Righted.
Comptroller Fitch posted in his office
to-day q voucher and warrant which
have a curious history. says tho New
York Evening Post. They are IN ex-
ample Of how much labor it takes to
correct little mistake in City depart
ment. The amount of money involved
in this case was 3 cents. The board Of
education had leased property at One
Hundred and Forty-ninth street and
Beach avenue, a street was cut through
and the property was assessed cents
too much When the error was dis
covered the law required that the 8
cents be transferred from the tax fund
to the fund of the board of education.
In order to have the transfer made,
the examiner. T.. Williams. had to
make special investigation and re-
port on the subject, which was re-
ferred to committee of the board Of
education This committee, after a
further examination, Endorsed requisi-
ton en- the finance department for 3
cents. This rcql.isi+ion had to be coun-
tersigned by Arthur McMullen, clerk Of
the board, and referred to Edward
Gilon, collector Of assessments. who
signed a voucher that bad to be ut.
tested by John F. Goldsbury, the sec.
ond auditor of the finance department.
Then G.. o. Williams made out w,r-
rant Of payment, Controller Fitch
signed it, and it had to pass through
the mayor, and the city chaE,berlaiu's
offices b. t,rt: the Z cents was paid.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

The Wcewly Pioneer Press expects to
double its circulation before election. They
are willing to pay for it.
Head carefully: To Zach of the three
persons sending them the largest list OF
new subs cribers to the Weekly Pioneer
Press for 10 cents from now until after
election they will present, free Of charge,
a complete set of the Americanized Ency-
clopedia Britannica, in ten volumes; 1900
Illustrations, SO full-page maps, new and
complete, valued at $50 per set.
A SIS sewing machine free. To the lady
sending the largest club will be sent free,
freight prepaid, an elegant five-drawer sew
ing machine, complete-nickel-plare attach
ments, automatic bobbin winder, oak finish,
etc. No better or handsomer machine made
Every person sending a list Of twenty OF
more names will receive free handsome
cloth-bound book-their choice of 800 titles.
The list Of club raisers and the number
they have to their credit will be published
every week in the Weekly Pioneer Press,
SO every one can tell just where he stands.
It will be easy. Think Of it! Only 10
cents for the Weekly Pioneer Press until
after election. Every one will give you 10
cents for great family paper nearly three
months. Tell your friends you are working
for Prize They will help you.
Send in your names every week so the pa
pers can be sent promptly. You will re-
ceive credit for them just the same as II
they were all sent at once. Send 10 cents
for every name. Two cent stamps accepted
Any number of samples for distribution
sent free of charge on request Address all
letters to
WEEKLY PIONEER PRESS,
ST. Paul, Mimi.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

GlOn ~ pUWeGIVAok-
MIGRATING tonic and soothing and strength.
sning nervine, purely vegetable, perfectly
proper functions of womanhood, improves
digestion, enriches the blood, dispels aches
and pains, brings refreshing sleep, and NJ
stores health and vigor. For every "fsnals
complaint" it is tho only remedy 50 SURF
that it can bs guaranteed. II It doent
cure, you have your money back.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

Instances are numerous of persons
who. horn without arms, learned to
use their feet as hands. Bulwer, in
"rhe Artificial Clangeling," tells Of
John Sinonds, a native Of Berkshire,
swho was born arnless, but who could
write with his mouth. thread a needle
with his toe, tie knot, play cards
and do almost anything else that an
other person usually does with his fin
gers.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

= they ;y,s stood ID! aboa constructor got tired
Otherwise thsre was very little going
on. f5
"You ore the first girl 1 ever loved"
protested the youth.
That" promptly replied the savage
girl. "cuts no ice in this latitude"
When he had reflected that the mer-
curry had never within his recollection
registered lower than ninety-six in the
shade. not counting the humidity, he
felt that there was much force in her
relH&I
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
No Use for Him.

Quick Drop Daw-See here, pard,
like enterprise nd I want ter see the
township git on. But Ill be blamed
If we oughtn't ter run this new Teller
plumb outer town.
Dicky Drawbead-Who r. yer talkin'
about!
Quick Drop Daw-Why, this Brook
lyn bloke that's come here with his
bullet-proof coat.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
In the Net.

hSgrace, the duke, had sat for sew
eral moments silent.
"Of course" the heiress was observ-
Ing, absently toying with her fan, you
are landed nobleman?"
The man in whom conferred all her
hopes Of getting into high society sigh
ed deeply.
Practically" he rejoined, gloomily.
Il owe your old man so much money
that l can't get away"
Rising with glad cry she fell on
his neck.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
Expected.

The messenger was obviously the
bearer of bad tidings.
"Sire," he faltered, "the enemy is
slaughtering our troops by thousands"
The king of Dohomey shuddered.
"As feared" he unused. '"rhese
foreigners are such lady killers"
There was no alternative, however,
but to order the reserves into action
and offer the most strenuous resistance
possible.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
SWEARING oATHs ON BOOKS.
Broken Plates and Slaughtered
Cocks Also Used.

The remarks in reference to Mr.. JUS
tce Days sarcastic allrsion to the san
itay oath viii render Of public interest
The fact that the form of oath when
the witness is sworn i'll English courts
of Justice varies according to the rrli-
zion or the country Of tho witness.
Thus Christians are sworn on the New
TestaHcnt Jews on the Gid Testament,
Mol,ammediars on the Koran, and Per
sons If other religions according to the
form, prescribed for that purpose by
the religion they profess. To take an
extreme instance, the following is given
in one reported case us the form OF
swearing Chinese. On entering the
witness box the witness Immediately
kDelt down. and. china saucer having
been placed in his hand. he struck 1t
against the brass rail in front of the
witness box and broke it. The crirr OF
the court then. by direction Of the in
terpreter, administered the oath in
these words, Which were translated by
the interpreter into the Chinese Ian
guage. You shall tell the truth and
the whole truth; the saucer is CRACKED.
and if you do not toll tile truth yo'lr
soul will be cracked like the saucer"
1t is provided by statute pissed So far
back as 1887 that oaths in courts of
Justice may be administered in such
form and with such ceremonies as the
pcrson taking them may declare to be
binding. No one. accordingly, can be
compelled to kiss the book if he de-
clarcs another form Of oath to be bind
ing On his conscience.
In connection with the Chinese cath
story is told Of a representative Of
the Middle Kingdom. who once ap-
peared to give evidence ut Row street.
He Was politely consulted as to the
method III which he would prefer to be
sworn oh" said he. with u breadth
Of outlook not common IN Sir 1t nm
Bridges court. kill i'm cock. !':'r,k
i'm plate, smell i'm book, all samey!-
Westminster Gazette.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

Special Pattern Needed.
Maud-But why doesn't the catcher
use glove with fingers instead of that
bag?
George-They don't make gloves to
fit his style of fingers.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
Reassured.

Rural Ragges-Have you got any
wood yer want chopin lady?
Mrs. HusSiff-No. we have not.
Rural RaggeE-Thank yer lady. Then
will yer please gimme some breakfast.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
In It's Entirety.

Co." she commanded.
with all my heart" he rejoined, af-
fecting Indifference.
"Of course. L"
Her lip curled in scorn.
have no use for anything of it,"
Pausing only until he was sure he
had the best umbrella in the hat rack
he strobe to the door and was gone.
A Hitch.
She was obviously madden than q
wet hen.
Leave me-" she cried, peremptorily'
For an instant it seemed that he
would comply. Then he turned an anx.
ious, care-worn face in her direction.
"Will you waive alimony?'' he asked.
Never"
That settled it. She had no case OF
cruelty and inhuman treatment and 1t
was desertion or nothing.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
A LOSS.

The girl with the double chin had
already admitted in express terms to
the youth with the low, broad fore
head that she was his entirely.
Il cannot tell you," he protested,
chow precious you are to me.''
She pondered.
AYE you sincerc?' she asked finally.
Darling, how can you doubt meg"
Then" she remarked, II suppose
you wont approve of my trying to re-
duce my weight"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
Not Mt All.

Not Mt All.
He watched the flames in the crate
as they 1yhirled into all sorts of fan.
tastc shapes.
Are you not" he finally asked,
begging the question:?
She turned upon him with flashing
eyes.
mo, SIR" she answered, frigidly. II
would inform you that am quite in
different whether you propose to me
or not
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
No Escape,

"Prince," faltered the heiress, in a
trembling voice, lis it necessary for
you to insult me by asking me to marry
you when you have wife living?"
EYES," answered the nobleman, sad
", II fear 1t is. have tried both
poison and divorce in vain"
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

Simkins-What are you raising a
beard for in this weather?
Tomkins-Oh, just to keep out of a
scrape.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
SOME RIB TICKI.ERs.
THE TESTERS VIEW OF nrEs
-. INCIDENTS.

Some of the Very Latest Produce
lions of the HumoriSt Cleaned
From Various Sources-For Old
and Young.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
1aApE LlFR Z DVIlnu0 3

Mss q. +! CRAWFORD, OF Ltmestens, ~. II
writes: 'For years suffered monthly ifrO1
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
An Emergency Call.

Mrs. Toots-I wish you would 60 for
a Doctor. Mr.. Toots is very bad to-
night.
Banks-What doctor shall l get?
Mrs. Toots-Any one will do; and If
you can't find one in, bring along a
Gnake.charmer.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
CUNNING OF THE COYOTE.
Not Afraid to be Near q Man Whom
He Knows to be Unarmed.

Not Afraid to be Near a Man Whom
He Knows to be Unarmed.
The barking habit of the coyote Is
very doglike, and his old name of bark
ing wolf is very appropriate. When
collecting mammals in Wyoming, says
a writer in St. Nicholas, it was very
common thing for us to hear the coy
otes around our camp set up great
barking in chorus at the first sign Of
daybreak, just when the ROSTERS be
gin to crow on the farm. 1t is wild
and uncultivated bark, ending in a fail
setto howl, and resembles the cry Of
the jackal of India more nearly than
any other sound I ever heard. But
Sir Coyote is cute. He knows exactly
the distance that constitutes fair rifle
range, and he knows just as well
whether the stranger is armed as does
the stranger himself When hunting
in the Shoshone Mountains in 1889, I
wanted to kill coyote for a special
purpose, but never once succeeded in
getting a fair shot, even at 200 yards.
For ten days we banged away indus
triously at every one we saw, but new
er touched hair. Finally, at Corbett's
range 1 left the expedition and started
north by stage, leaving behind me RI
1e, revolver, knife, and even
scissors. Just two hours after
I had said good-by to my
shooting irons and taken the blackboard
"stage," we saw coyote ahead of us,
close to the trail. Seeing us coming he
selected soft spot, sat down within
thirty rods of the trail and waited for
us. We drove up, stopped as we got
opposite him, and still he did not run.
That villain sat there cooily without
moving a muscle, but with leer that
plainly said: Nov. don't you wish you
had your old gun?' When we got
through making faces at him and wish
ing for gun OF a revolver or even a
common stone to fire at him, we drove
on, and then he got up and went hunt
ing for jack rabbit. TO this day I
have been puzzling over the question:
How did that rascal find out so quick
~ that both the driver and were to-
tally unarmed?' That he did know it
perfectly we'll I have no doubt what
ever, for no coyote ever waited like
that for a man with gun.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

According to the Philadelphia Record
Capt. Blake, of the revenue cutter
Hamilton, has the distinction of having
fired the first shot of the rebellion
from government vessel. The place
was Charleston Harbor and the date
April II, 1861, and the captain at the
time was in command of the revenue
cutter Harriet S. Lane. A steamer,
the Nashville. attempted to enter the
harbor, carrying supplies for the con-
federates. She received warming
from the Lane, but did not heed it,
and on her persisting on her course
the Lane sent shot across her bows.
This sent her scurrying out to sea. On
the same day the bombardment of Fort
Sumter was begun and the war was
on. After the capitulation of the fort
Capt. Blake brought back on the Lane
some of the brave defenders who had
held out so well against the confederate
batteries.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
Dire hreat.

Dire hreat.
"That young man OF yours is named
Mark Antony, believe"
eyes, papa"
eft isn't pleasant for man to have
to toe he Mark, but if he comes
around here any more l am afraid I
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06
A Hitch.

! i: ! !: J !
! : - So. (!
LADY, think a strong man like you
ought to find some work to do.
Seed-I would like to very much,
mum, but can't find anything in my
line.
Lady.-What is your business?
Seed-Counting votes at elections
Apparel.
He was manifestly perturbed and
hurt.
4 do not see enough of you" he in
sisted.
Coldly looking her fance in the eye.
IF you think"
There was that about her manner
which carried conviction.
I'm going to wear boomers just
to please you, you're much mistaken,
SO there.
Consultation.
She stamped her foot.
Look me in the eye," she com
narded.
He complied.
"Thirty dollars, please" he observed
after a moment.
A faintness came over her rs she
remembered that he was an Oculist
An Emergency Call.
Mrs Toots-I wish you would 60 for
q Doctor. Mr.. Toots is very bad to-
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1894-09-06

All She Needed.
"Do you own a hearth" he cried,
wildly; brushing the dust from his
knees.
eyes," she replied. blushing, II have
Toms. New Yo"k Herald.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-03-07

the speak easies" about the neighborhood
OF 4th and L streets northeast, about which
so much complaint has been made.
John Cation was brought in on an at
tachment to pay a fine imposed about two
years ago. He was sent down.
Sad Case.
After an absence of nearly a year Col.
William r. Lasselle appeared in the tolls
as an habitual drunkard.
The colonel said he had been confined to
his home part of the time, and the leniency
of the police was responsible for his not
having been brought in later.
I've tried treatment" said the unfortu-
nate man, land have also been treated IN
the hospital; but why l can't let it alone /
can't understand"
He told the court that he had plenty of
work to do: that his clients were waiting
FOR him to write wills and deeds for them
And some of them impose upon him. {"
said the officer. "They get him to do writ
ing and then pay him off in drinks
AND, added the court, the whipping
post OF Delaware is none too good for such
a man. 1t fairly makes my blood boil
when l hear of such conduct-when q
bright man like this defendant is honestly
endeavoring to keep sober. There are fully
a thousand men here who would try to
tempt him. and IL l had the power and the
way would know what to do with them -
Inc defendant was released on his o,y,
ponds upon promise TO make an honast
effort to keep sober ' "oiie''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-03-07

Deeds in fee have been filed as follows:
j. {. Roberts TO ] r. johnson, DIT. 2, 50.
112o; $. Indiana w. Lukel to A. w. Luz
kei, sub &c. Sd. as; s.. II. c. Mackall 70
Oiiveira Andrews. subs 80 20 153. So Isl:
s. c. +. Norment to r. Goidschmid, sub
d3. So. al; s. A. l.. Randle to Peter J.
Riley. lot s. blk. 2. Congress Heights; $50.
James Il. Thompson lot 3, blk. 2. Congress
Heights; so5. A. E. Randle to !" Herier,
lot u. ok. 4, Co.; 5. A. l.. Randie to II.
T. Henning. lot 3. blk. .. do; s. 3. r.
Snyder TO w. T. snyder, subs 30S, 3O7 and
3ii. 50. GA; s. c. r. Norment to Jacob n.
Belt, sub l03, SO. 1023; 6. +. W. Baker TO
+. Pelzman. sub 13I. 50. 10sI. s. Eliza j.
Roe TO L. :. Lipscomb. sub 33, blk "A. Hol-
mead Manor; 5. Maria l.. Johnston to c.
w. Fairfax. pts. 90 and g.. 81. so; 81. 100
r. V. Tilford to G.. Y. worthington. sub lSa.
50; SCI; $. G. Y. Worthington 10 f. v.
Iito-d lot IS, blk. ~, lie Dcoit Park; s..
j. NJ. Latta to F. +. waring sub "a So
44o; $. J. Palmer Merrill to r. H. Merrill.
sub 81, 50. as6: seoo. r. Goidschmid to q.
r. Norment, lot ii. blk. 4. Effingham place,
y. u Clark TO NJ. II. Hunter. pit. -, Bay.
iey's Purchase; si,Joo; lot 1, Fortune En-
larged; $3.50.