The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1894-07-07
A GREAT MIsTAkE--A FABLE.
The Misintorpreted Oracle; or, From the
FOotlights To the Farmyard.

Footlights TO the Farmyard.
David Garrick Softsquash was am
bilious. Experience, ripened by four
and-twenty years growth, had con-
WINGED him OF the power OF gold and
fame. A still, small voice had whis-
pered that lucky stars were in the as
cendent at his birth, and that he was
born 10 rise 90 higher things. Often,
when the divine affiatus was upon him,
The pent-up elements OF his genius
would cry aloud for the unattained;
"Oh, that l might shake the clay OF
this mortgage plastered farm from my
feet and whittle my initials on the top
rung Of Fame's LADDER Why a soul
thus aspiring, II am TO remain pie
beian? This cutting corn in dog days
is distasteful. My fine instincts refuse
TO delve and grovel Here my meat is
salt pork and my vesture blue denim!"
Like a ray from foxfire in the cellar
came across his vision the modest an
nouncement of Madam Cullen Veris.
lick, clairvoyant, seventh daughter,
born with a veil over her face, and 10
whom the future was as plain as a
worlds fair portfolio. With flaring
neclStie, ID. Garrick Softsquash con
suited this mistress OF the dark art.
Lucky one said She OF the mystic
science, glorious is your lot! A yellow
crown sits on your head, and gems CLEAN
on your brow"
'But how, how am / 10 get all these
trinkets?" implored the aspirer
yes, oh, yes; see IL now, the vision
comes-a great room filed with bay
and hangers, and in the center be
hold yourself welding a large wooden
wand, which brings gold out OF the
straw, with a noise as OF thunder"
Garrick Softquash. puzzled, went his
way. What could she mean2 At last
an idea awokc.
A transformer, sure as guns! An
actor! o Thespis!
Forthwith he joined a troupe Of stars
from New York, and fed ambition by
laboring in the capacity of curtain
raiser lie was also TO assist in getting
the baggage out of the hotel SO that
the landlord couldn't levy on il so
easily
Yet he yearned 90 rise higher.
The manager OF the troupe learned
of his yearning TO wear the man
tie of Booth, and agreed TO sell
him an interest in said mantle for
five hundred dollars His delighted
mother placed mortgage on the farm,
and the money was paid.
But alas! the slip 'twixt the cup and
the lip" The next morning the mana
ger, in tears, informed him that the
company had broken up. Then there
was wandering 20 and fro Having
just purchased an interest in the pro-
prietorship of the company, ID. Soft
quash was one OF the heaviest losers.
"The poor fellow feels pretty blue, =
said the old manager Of the bankrupt
company, as he jammed a wad of green
backs in each boot, "but always look
out for Number One.
In the deepening gloom Of a mellow
twilight, ID. Garrick limpcd along the
monotonous ties toward the home OF
his prosaic youth.
"Oh, why this humiliating failure?
Did i misinterpret the clairvoyant's
vision2 Let me recall IT, Well, all
Great guns, Softsquash, you're a milk
sop. EurelSa She saw me i'm barn,
with yellow crown on my head, pearls
on my brow, wooden wand In my
hand drawing wealth out Of the straw
with sound as Of thunder ] opined
that II was transforming But now
see, as in glass, brightly. The yellow
crown was straw hat, the pearls were
drops Of sweat, the wooden wand was
fail. ! must haste home for the buck
wheat was ripe when ! left. w. g..
Brooks, In The Voice.