The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1894-01-11
WIT AND HUMOR.

|
| lively so. He has rich aunt" Puck.
The new cork trust should get it
where the bottle got it.-Philadelphia
Times.
Money won't make the mare 90 un-
less it is stable money. GaiUeSton
| Ne1GS.
All the worlds a stage and all the
numerous doctors merely ushers-both
ways.-Phitadeiphia Press.
That air is very familiar" said the
musician as a gust of wind took his
hat away.-HarUard Lampoon.
Herdso-Do you believe in the faith
cure? Saidso-Yes; one treatment
cured all the faith had.-V0gue.
Minnie-Did he kiss YOU when he
| proposed? May-Certainly l wouldn't
consider any but sealed proposals
Vogue.
Ethel, williyou row with me down
the river of life?" No, Clarence; but
| | wouldn't mind acting as coxswain."
-Bro0biyIs Life.
Unmixed evils rarely occur. The
fact that money has been tight is said
to have resulted in good deal of so Der
| thought.-Baltinl0re American.
Dnkle-Funny thing about Notrich
and his new piano" Dankle-Is, Ell?
Dinkle-Yes; plays it by ear and pays
for it by note.-ButalO Courier.
First Girl-What l didn't like in
school was the parsin'. Second Girl
OH, our parSon was young and just
too lovely -BinghanatoW Leader.
Mamma (pathetically)-W would
my little girl do if l should die? Lit
tie Flossie-I don't know; l suppose
| should have to spank myself. life.
She-You will be sorry for the way
you have upbraided me when am in
the silent tomb. He-Are YOU sure
it will be silent?-Hqdianapo Jour-
7ldL
Customer-How is this2 You have
charged me twice the usual price for
shaving. Barber-Mv razor was dull
and it took me twice as long.-N. \.
Weekly.
J;mson-I hear Hankson has failed.
BilsOn-I don't wonder. He was al
ways buying new contrivances war
ranted to save their cost in year.
N. Y. Weekly.
Hops in upper New York, when pick
ing begins next week, will average
only half a crop. It's been the same
way all summer at the seashore hotels.
Philadelphia Ledger.
"What do nautical people mean by
'tacking'? said one girl to another.
"Don't you know that?" Not exact.
ly." why, cking--er-tacking is
sailing on the bias. life.
Watts-I can't see what reason YOU !
have for comparing old man Gotrox
to a sausage. Potts-Because his stuff |
is all that makes him Of any conse-
quence indianapolis JOurnaL.
Little Dick-What are YOU tryin' to |
do, anyhow? Little Dot-Mammah has |
sent for the doctor to come and see me, |
and | is scrubbin' my tongue so it'll |
be fit to look at.-G00d NeaUS.
A young man of Fulton, Mo-, re-
Gently sent to Kansas City for copy |
of Poe's story, "The Gold Bug" Tie |
said he wanted to post up on the |
financial uestion.-KansaS city Jour
nal.
Brown-That is a beautiful medal |
Smith has. Jones-Yes, that's for |
beating the bicycle record. Brown
What is his record9 Jones-Ran over
seventeen men in a week. Bro0kIWs |
Life.
An eminent physician says it is often |
dangerous TO lie on the right side. 1t |
is also unnecessary. Any political
speaker or writer knows the wrong |
side needs the lying if any.-Bu6ato |
Courier.
PothOok ever pay that heavy doctors |
bill he ran up all winter? Farmer
Hoecorn-He got the doctor to come
out an board with him for a week this |
summer N. Y Herald.
Polite Tramp-Madam. may l in
quire what variety of fowl this is? |
Lady of the House-That is a Plymouth |
Rock. Polite Tramp-Er-I thought |
so. Have YOU any stone-crushers on |
the premises?- -Ptttsborg Dispatch.
"An't you workin now, Jim?"
"Naw. l thanked passenger who |
handed me his fare the other day, aud |
a blamed spotter on board allowed |
from that that was taking the fare
fer my own use. e."-Iadiap0pOliS Jour- |
nal
"Mrs. Smiths got dog that likes
me-" said little Emily, coming home |
from visit with her aunt. How do |
you know he likes vou?" her mother
asked. "'Cause he tasted of me-"
answered the little girl. Youths COM !
pdltOn.
Foreigner Con a suburban train)-
Who is that distinguished looking |
gentleman showing so much attention
to that ordinary looking woman beside
him? Binther-O, that is De Fits
Smith returning from town with 4 new
cook.-Lye.
Guest Gn cheap restaurant D-That's |
queer. | ordered three dishes and you |
are out of all Waiter-It's very late, !
sab. Guest uspiciously)-Not saw
ing 'em for yourself, eh? Waiter
(haughtilv)-I don't eat heah, sah.-
~ y Weekly
johnny was the son of Il paragrapher, |
and when he saw his mothers sister,
of uncertain age, fresheuing up her |
appearance by rouging her cheeks he
said: AUNT Jennie, you're decOrat- |
lhp an antique mug, al sou' -
Ieras Syting8.
Hustling editor How many murd-
ers did that man commit? Assistant |
One reporter says three, another
says five, and another says nine.
Hustling editor-Three, five, nine, Ell?
On. well, we'll have to strike an aver
age.-N Y. Weekly.
Governess- see, my dear. the
antipodes live on the other side of the
earth and they only 90 to bed when
we are getting up. Little Emma
Then. fraulein. | suppose my brother
Fritz, the student, is an antipode, Ell?
-FiegcHdc Blaetter.
Pockets in ladies' dresses first APP
peared in England during the reign of
I