Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-07-20

slip into the hairspring Of a self. binder
and delay operations for several hours,
during which time the whole excursion
combined to extricate the name without
injury. This was done, but the binder
was confined to its bed for several days.
l notice with regret that Gray Whirl-
wind, n OF the Sioux chiefs who was
enticed away from his native heath to
the Indian village at Coney Island, at
which place he has been alternating be.
tween those essences of gastronomi c un-
trustworthiness, the elusive red hots,n
and surreptitious rotations Of bad whis-
key, has lost the sight of n eye, and
may have to adopt a monocle to conceal
the defect from the denizens OF the ef-
fete east. Gray Whirlwind's downfall
was asad one. Eludine the vigilance Of
his keepers, he donned a striped bathing
suit, and plunged into the surf, and the
mischief was done. The water had an
almost fatal eject. A few drops splash
ed in his eye, and Gray Whirlwind was.
undone. With that childlike simplicity
for which the American Indian is pecu-
liar, he made a lotion Of equal parts Of
cayenne pepper and chewing tobacco,
and with this he bathed his eye inces-
sanity, in a distinctly original effort to,
minister to his own Affections. Whirl-
wind now carries his eye wrapped up in
cotton-batting, as an evidence of the dis
tressing result of this first attempt at the
Initiation of the child of the forest into,
the mysteries Of the surf bath at Coney
Island.
The several people who inhabit the
earth seem always to be playing at cross
purposes, and no one improvement of
any description is perfected, but it is,
nullited, or it's utility neutralized, by
the perfection of some other. This is
especially true of those articles which
minister to life or death, and no sooner
does some genius set forth the fruit Of a
lifetime OF study in the shape of a more,
effective means Of dealing death and
destruction than some other equally
studlous genius promulgates his dis
covery OF a means to avert the conseuu-
ences OF the first discovery. The coat Of
Herr Dove, the German tailor, will set.
at naught the recent improvements in
firearms, and now a New Yorker has per
tected a bullet proof coat, said to be far
superior to Herr Doves, anticipatory to.
another improvement Of the gun-makers.
The new coat is reported as light, not at,
all cumbersome, and effectual is its re-
sistance to leaden projectiles, and will be
subjected to an official test by the Hon.
z. Donan, who will pelt it with a pyro-
technlc profusion Of invertebrates adjec-
tives IN quick succession. If it shall
Withstand this test, it's infallibility is as
sured, and what now remains of the
Wilson tariff bill will be encased IN il.
IN order to preserve some memento Of
the first effort of democracy at tariff re-
form.
The English papers have begun to dis
cuss the Debs strike, in that peculiarly
intelligent way in which the Britons
always comment on persons and things
American. We may expect to notice in
English journals at almost any time 10Y
that "Chicago is reported to be out Of
danger at last, the siege Of that city by
100000 insurrectionists from the prov
ince Of Pullman having been raised
etfectually by the prompt advance Of
Coxey's army to the scene of trouble.
The rebels fed at once upon the arrival
OF these troops, embarking down the
Hudson river, and it is feared they in
ten to make adetour by way OF Hud-
sons bay, and advance through the foot
hills OF the Rocky mountains to the seat
OF government. A special session of the
chamber of deputies has been ordered
by President Cleveland, who drove into
Washington in two hours this morning
from a buffalo hunt in Colorado, an arid
desert on the outskirts of the city Of
California"
The SPECTATOR,
~GM