Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-09-13
A SLIGHT MISTAKE.
The New Suburban Resident Got the Wrong

The New Suburban Resident Got the wrong
Life in the suburbs of city has its
advantages, especially in the summer
months. The streets are cool and
shady, noise and hustle are absent, the
grown folks can sit and rest or read on
the piazza, while the boys can fly kites
or play baseball without being driven
away by policeman.
But these suburban sections are q
choice place for agents, who ring door
bells and try to sell something; and
there are times when people begin to
look upon these visits as a bore. Occa-
sional1y, however, a householder may
make mistake, and get mad at the
wrong man; and this is what subur-
ban resident did one day, the restlt be-
ing that he felt very much ashamed of
himself
He had just settled down with his
family in nice house, and felt sure
that he would enjoy himself. Two
days after he had moved in it was Sat
urday, and he got home early from the
city.
arranging the rooms upstairs, so he
offered to sit in the parlor and answer
the door-bell. In short time he had
opened the door to ten agents, and
when the eleventh ring came he was so
angry that he would have fought nest
of hornets.
When he opened the door tall, meek
faced looking man, dressed in black,
who was standing on the step, began
to say something, but the householder
interrupted him:
''Oh, you needn't tell me what you
have to sell, for I don't want it. ]
don't need a burglar alarm, nor boot
jack that has music box attached to
it, nor stem-winding can opener, nor
a.
But, my dear sir" said the stranger,
''you are"
''Oh, never mind what ami" replied
the householder; land don't my dear
sir me. 1t won't do you any good. ]
tell you I don't want combined mus
tache cup and curry-comb; have no use
for a gate that can be taken from its
hinges, and made to duty as folding
bed when there's company in the house.
l have full supply of furniture polish,
washing powder and hair restorer:
and, really, my wife does not need
recipe for preserving Goldfish, or frying
a paper of hairpins and making them
taste like shad."
Really. SIR" said the meek-looking
man, this is most extraordinary"
''Of course it's extraordinary"
growled the suburban resident; ''but
that's no reason why you should in
sistaon me buying it. suppose it can
be used either to tune the piano or to
CRATE horseradish with, but I don't
need it. Perhaps it will pare potatoes
and apples, take grease spots out of
clothing, chase dogs out of the front
yard. and keep cats from giving con-
certs on the back fence. l am sur
prised that a man of your age and re-
spectacle appearance should go round
selling these things when people in the
neighborhood have so much wood that
needs saving. What's the use of try
ing to sell man one ofyour gimcracks
when you can get dollar day carry
ing brick for those houses that are be-
ing built up the street?'
He stopped, Cor he was out of breath,
and the stranger got a chance to say
something.
''Tm not an agent" he said.
''Then what are you?" gasped the
householder.
I'm the pastor of the Presbyterian
church across the way, and came over
to get acquainted with the family.
But did not know that this is a pri-
vate lunatic asylum. and that you are
one of the patients. Good-day!"-A.
T. C,a 1yfor6 in V Toduor