Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-02-25
A 1Euron.s CURIOUS TOAST.
The Nuptial Sentiment Sent by Karl eros.
sermann to His Daughter.

sermann to Isis Daughter.
written for the Dispatch.l
When Karl Grossermann. rudy, roll
licking. rotund representative OF the Teu-
ton tribe received letter from his
daughter "a buxom maiden OF 20, whose
independence had prompted her to seek
a livelihood several hundred miles from
her parental home), to the effect that she
was about to be married. and urging her
father to bless the occasion with his pres
ence. he was completely dumbfounded.
Karl had never contemplated the pos
sibility OF his daughters marriage. and.
therefore, the knockout quality OF the
intelligence. He turned the letter over
and over as II I'm search OF an affidavit
OF verification. He turned 1t edgewise
and lengthwise. eyed 1t at short-range
and long-range, studied the blurred post
mark and the pictorial attractions OF the
Columbian stamp, freighted his capac'ous
nose with a pair of rust-embrodered
specs" and instituted still more tho
rough review, and finally, repocketing his
artificial eyes. he wrapped himself In an
overcoat OF reflection.
Five hundred miles OF railway travel.
Phew! 1t made him groan TO even thihk
of committing his countless pounds or
corporosty to such an ordeal, and as the
impossibility OF such an undertaking
crashed disastrously against his inclina-
ton, he seriously berated his unwieldy
immensely, and in turn condemned the
thoughtlessness of one who. he reasoned
should have been mindful enough OF his
convenience to have left her heart In his
keeping until he had found some handy
young neighbor who would have under
taken TO be its custodian.
"Vas list los nit der goundry, anyhow
he exclaimed; "dhere yasn'd somevheres
you could gone by dunder yed oxcepd dot
lofe vas clicking up der duyfel nit efery-
dngs alretty. Seems me vonce dot der
beeples would got Offer dot foolishness no
doubtless when der voredt a ;e-dle older
vas. but It vas growing all Ger While so
yorser as efer. by chimney.
This outbreak seemed to relieve him.
IL was the froth everything the clear amber
brewing of his heart, and when this last
dubbed into his meditations there was
revival OF all his tender impulses. and the
awakening of a determination TO send his
benedictions to the nuptials that he could
not bless with his presence. He was
something OF a rhymester, and had within
him an undeveloped germ of poesy that
he set himself 10 cultvating for the occa-
sion, and, with the liberal check that the
morning mail bore to his daughter, there
was an accompanying nuptial sentiment,
copy OF which l here submit. He first
pictures a condition which In his mind
typifies the very acme of elation-the most
vivid realization of complete joy-and
thereupon bases his toast:
Fritz Guteman hated a leedle dog;
Bout big ash dwo dree mouses:
Und dot doggie vas der habbiesd dog
Vot lifed I'm sefendeen houses.
don'd care When you seen dot dog
His dali vas always Vaughn;
Und 'bout dot dog ind bout dot dali
Young Fritz vas always braggin'.
or / need dot Fritz says nit me:
81 dells you now. dots pleasant
/ wouldn't shwap dot leede bup
Fur der bestest Kingdoms crescent;
IND bate you dreIzehn tollars yed
Dhere's blendy anchels chealous.
Because dey ditnt got such choy
Ash dot dog vas tryin' TO dell u.s.
nefer dit sawn such a habby bup:
His choyness couldn't been reckon'd.
/ dnk dot dali vas Vaughn 'boud
Four dousand dimes second;
OF your frients vas all go dyin',
You on'y gould see dot dali yoost vonce.
IND you laugh dill you most vas cryin'.
VEIL vOnce dot dog was blayin' rount
Where Fritz some wood vas chopin,
Und you nefer dit seen such mischiefness,
Such Vaughn ind such hoppin',
Und by and by dot axe koome down
So shlick like a greasy cantle.
Und chop dot leedle dogs dali rigid auf.
Clean close up by der hadtle.
Veil, veil, | couldn't tolt you yed
How bad dot dog vas feelin'
He ditn't howl like vulgar dogs,
He dit'nt done some shgweelin,
But he yoost looks rount where his dali
dit vas
IND seems more awful solemn
Ash would been in a vuneral notices
Vot dock ub lefen COLUMN.
But Fritz he dit'nt like dot mootch,
He Couldn't yed enture i'd
So he rubs his prains a leetle while
IND finds oud how he'll CURE id; Z,
He gifts dot dog some gloroform'
Ind buys some gum-shelackle
Und clue. ind shdarch. und pitch, und
wax,
IND haste, ind fishin' tackle.
I-nd dock dot dali volts been shliced auf
IInd feeks i'll on so neadly
Dot II somevon says Id efer vas aut
You dink he wash lied gombletesyi
Veil. by und by dot dog Voked up
Und looked arount minute
lind yoost so soon like he sees dot dali
You dlnk 'dwas der tuyfie IN H.
4 pushel-bag OF laughn' gas
ind lightdnin by der shkyful
Couldn't efer make somedinS gone so iast'
Like dot leetle candle drliie,
Id almost dock your breat away
70 seen such lifely hoppin'.
I'll seemed vound ub for a hundert years
ind meier coult do some shdoppin',
IND efry inch OF dot leetle dog
Vas so choked ub nit laughter
Ash would keep him glat dill der vorlt was
died
Und sefendeen minutes alder,
IND efer since dot habby dog
Voult keeb so far from sadness
Dot he yoost was koome to been Won chunk
or cholly. fursht-rate glatness.
Una now, my uedT, HOoh N',H hpi Sou
Dot you got so mootch of shveeds
Ash would film all Ni-Yorik ub
Und block up all der shdreeds,
IND droo all your life | would wish. by
chinks,
Nit all my mighd ind main.
Dot you been so gat like dot buppy-dog
When his dali koomes back again.
WADE WHIPPLE.
CHARlO TTE'S HISTORIC LOCALITIES
The Tablets to Mark Which VIII BE Here
SOOn-The Inscription.
Charlotte IN. CO Observer