The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1894-02-18

and the conductor was very young
man. but he recognized the gray unitor"
and looked around him IN neipiee,,
sort of way. I meant that ne ~
to ring up the fares, and pay 'ne'l a..
OF his own pocket, when 10 70 say W
least. rather hard on man WIZ eS,'
only a dollar or so day, anu a. VIZ
known citizen sitting by the vets
soo,,ad "a realize the conductor
dilemma and offered 20 pay the fares.
or course everybody was Wiling ana the
troIlev-man came back ana stood on Tue
roar platform with relieved expression
~, hts face. The war-torn limbs are
not in condition 10 walk anu WIN
Tho courage of the long ago. the old
braves face the enemy and take their
chances.
,-.r, women can be found who Will
-, snsist that their "tootsy-wootsy"
g. ,be dearest, sweetest little dar-
,,n, I'm the world. IL IS n well-known
Cot that some OF these dimnutivc
snccin,ens OF humanity, who are 10 run
do commercial and political machinery
y-ben we are dead and gone. are verita-
HE ,vrants. and rarely fail 20 pull half
their fathers beard out, hair by hair.
n IS also true that many OF them slap
their mothers faces because the IN
dulrcnt danes rather oppose the idea
~ nermitting the youthful progenies 90
swallow their solitaire engagement rings.
In some cases the youngsters make IL
a point 10 yell at the top OF their voices
from o'clock at night till IN the
morning. by way of testing their vocal
nrosnects. and raising cain genefaiiy,
vet they are the dearest little Angels III
the world When they grow 70 De Tour
ar five Years OF age they are the terror
OF the young man paying his attentions
10 sister They usually want 10 KNOW
several months before the all-important
question is pronounced. "when are you
and sister going to get married. ana
almost always right In the presence Vi
the old folks and half dozen conipatd-
tive strangers. / tell you they are dah-
oarous people 10 monkey with, these
Youngsters. II there is an opportunity
10 execute what is Familiarity known as
n "break." why, they rarely fail TO take
advantage OF it at the worst possible
time.
And in face of all this, a certain young
father has written a new song, entitled
KISS The Baby Once for Me" I'm not
over-burdened with sentimentality eN-
cert on a two weeks furlOugh at the
Springs. and consequently can't enter
into the spirit OF the song. Without
wishing 70 be al all philosophical or
cynical either. I would Just like 10 ask
that after you kiss the baby once for
the author Of the new song, you will
kindly spank the baby once for me-
Jaiier russell. OF Henrico is a very
kind-hearted and sympathetic sort OF
fellow. one Of his recent acts Of libcr-
aiitv was TO present pr Charles ~.
~. Al
knowing. AS he did that well-known
PHYSICIANS weakness for tho animal
whose propensity for deceiyng folks
has been translated into a proverbal
phrase. In connection with the zo1losi-
cal specimen referred TO. there hangs q
tale, as well as a tail. II was that
bright balmy day Of last week when
newspaper reporters were sliced with %
desire 10 rest their weary houcs. \
wcll-knoWn young journalist vino parts
his hair in the middle. through force OF
habit, was longing about the Henrico
Courthouse. looking out for another
sensation such as that county alone can
furnish. lie was weary. I'm fact he was
born tired. and has been the victim OF |
a relapse Casting his eve round for COM |
Portable seat. ne esped a. tompting-look-
ing chair. I'm which was clean soft |
sigh. he fell into a moditatiye frame
of mind. Just for a bluff an Of +
sudden he became noticeahly gymnastic. |
and with an observation not usually heard !
I'm well-regulated Sunday school classes. I
Jumped about ten feet. and clapped his /
hand 10 that spot of the anatomy where |
a lazy mans trousers have a provoking /
way Of wearing out Investigations were |
I'm order. In the eack was an indignant |
'possum, which. like some people. didn't |
care 10 be sat down on. The indignant |
quadruped resented the insult ard he /
didn't play 'possum' either. as the jour /
nalist viii testify
without intending 20 be irrelieious /
would like 10 tell you a little story before /
winding up these reflections. I'm the
story there is one Of those references
which deacons sometimes very snfully
employ but if YOU Will forgive me, TN
tell it 60 you this time. even az a. risk.
II was at the big banquet rendered the
Burgesses corps by the Richmond mill
tary. After the menu had been pretty
well demolished. as only soldier bows
can properly do. a member OF the famors
corps leaned half way across the table
and said:
"See that old eray-haired gentleman up
az the other end OF the table,
yes" said t. "whO Is he2'
That's Maior-General Carr" ne re-.
Piled. land he has a more familiar
knowledge or Richmond and vicinity
han the rest or us. He was here dur
ng the war, and he got a warm recep-
ton. too"
quite a different KIM from the cor
iial greeting this time venured am
other member OF the body from tho
opposite OF the banquct-boafd. when
be- approached the railroad station this
inc. the artillery hOnored him with
numbering salute; but thirty years aso
hey gave him straight she'll"
'Ner." said the other soldier. and they
rave him shell without the "s."
JACK OF HEARTS.