St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-10-03
ON THE LIVE WIRE.

two young men therein who are con-
demned to be hung shortly, IA friend re-
marked: "Why, the only material Diff
ference between them and us OH that
phase OF life is simply that they know
when they are going to die, aud we
don't know when we are going TOT
And he was correct.
- ~
There are plenty of people in this
world who are piously and reliably hoh :
est up to about the 100000 mark; be;
yond that they need watching. -
~
There il a heap of difference between
being ''toasted" and being "roasted."
-
The new religion in Missouri Ian j.
cuisines sadly for want of preachers. 1t
is not for me to say that this is because
the denomination maintains that its
ministers should not be paid salaries
any more than the apostles were.
e." -
Sixty-tive million people are begin
ming to feel the agreeable effects of tile
new tariff, and realize that it was step
i'll the direction OF real prosperity and
the establishment Of real principle.
~"
The third eye. in the center of the
forehead. of the race of people to come,
as prophesied by Prof. Judge, is doubt
lie IS the "eye for business
wonder how the Republicans who
delight TO point at the New York Sun as
the only wise Democratic" organ, rel
ish the radical free-trade position of
that paper. Our friends, the enemy,
are as silent as mice on the subject.
-
One of the latest lodges for circum-
venting the costly effects of high tariff
has just been discovered to be in prac-
tice among Eastern people who pur
chase sewing machines. 1t has been
known for a very long time that the
sewing machines which cost American
ladies $40 or $50 could be purchased by
foreigners for half those amounts. The
trick referred to is to purchase sewing
machine under an assumed name, and
as resident of Cuba, aad have the
machine delivered to some of the ship
ping concerns doing business with that
country. Next morning the owner OF
the machine calls at the shipping
brokers. pays their charges. to the
amount of the freight to Cuba some
times, takes his machine for, say SIS.
and even then gets what would cost an
American purchaser from an American
manufacturer $40. And thus do the
beauties of high protection multiply.
-
Capt. Howgate, some time since chief
of the weather bureau. didn't have his
weather eye open. 1t is some thirteen
years since he has been out of practice
though not out of government funds
ard he could not see the storm that was
being specially brewed for him.
l do not know that the captain'is
worse-as prognosticator than others
of his kind. To make miss only unce
in thirteen years is long way ahead of
the average. -
II ,
How does it happen. anyway. that
Capt. Howgate could steal $3.50, 900 from
the United States government, be no
farther away from Washington than
hs
Thoroughly enjoying his liberty and his
sway? a..
There is one point upon which all
candidates of all parties agrec-each is
absolutely certain. himself, to win. D
~ +t.s ..1. }
Instead of prohibitory tariff as ad-
vocated by the Hon. T bcmas B. Reed
lot l,,,fII of,o III
la Chinese. call in our ministers and
the few ships we have left, and declare
ourselves a world sufficient unto our
selves. 1t would be much the cheaper
plan.
Let us have naught to do with those
| fellows over on the other side. A scurvy
lot they. We are stupid. and they
would outwit us: they are strong and
we are weak; their manufacturers are
| sturdy men of genius. with wealth.
while ours are busted" pulling in
| rants. And then
1t costs us so much more to produce
| any of the ordinary marketable articles
| so our protectiOnist friends tell us
| than it does them. that they would not.
| OF course, buy anything of us, and we
| stuff as a gift, so let US call quits alto
| gether. Why trade with them at all?
Who ever made anything in buying and
| seIiing-eXchanglng Let us
| really go back to the good old times;"
| let's go back a couple of thousand years
and start in with the Chinese. Up with
the wall! =.
The governor of Alaska receives So, 900
| year. and the governor of New Hamp.
| shire $1,000. 1t is three times as chilly a
job governing in Alaska as it is in New
| Hampshire.
Chicago's base ball nine may not be
| able to play the national game little
bit, but the Windy City will never let
| go of the clubs members. They count
nine in the census. beside the mascot.
~
Hon. Franklin MacVeagh, about to be
! elected United States senator from ILL
| nois, scholar and a large merchant
who knows of the wherefores of trade.
is ramming political facts down the
throat of clustering Billy Mason and his
| gang, till their eyes hang out on their
| cheeks and there is no wind in their
| sails.
| Who cares for silver now? We prefer
that its guardians should not all speak
| at once.
| ~
Our faults are put into the profit and
loss account without a second thought.
COLONEL Boz.
| &c
AT THE THEATERS. 20
Notwithstanding the inclemency OF