Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-03-10
HOW A GUEST SHOULD BEHAVE.
The Correct Demeanor of the Strangef
Within the Gates.
From the Phiadephia Times.


From the Philadelphia Times.
In every book of etiquette, and in the
heart of every woman who attempts to en-
terrain, is laid down a little code that re-
quires just such and such things from the
hostess in order to make the entertainments
a success, but how few printed mental
rules regulate the actions of the visitor wfo
arrives for a single evening or to stay a
fortnight. In the first instance a person can
be absolutely rude without intending it by
neglecting certain little things that are the
ball mark of breeding. For instance, at a
ball or evening reception 1t is very bad
form to enter a room without greeting the
hostess. When once the hostess Is saiuted
her daughters or the members of the receiv-
ing party should be the next to come IN for
courteous consideration.
Our American manners have made Il pos
Slble Tor woman to entertain while the
masculine head of the house only pays the
bills. This is a great error that leads TO
many an embarrassing contre -annps. For
instance. in many a large mansion pater-
familias has been mistaken for one of the
walters.
Every one should make 1t a point to hunt
up the host well hostess, IL the gen.
tleman is still in the land of the living, for
this little courteous act, which counts so
poor man who has grown SO into the habit
of being ignored that a small attention
means more than any one can imagine.
At n House Party.
When house party is organized the
etiquette Of the guest is even more rigorous
than upon those occasions when few hours
limit the time Of visitation. To begin with.
person invited to make one of ,ongenial
party. or honored by being invited alone
should make a point Of arriving at the time
specified by the hostess.
Once under the roof everything that can
possibly be done to conform to the rules and
regulations of the household should be the
first thought. No matter at what hour the
guest is I'm the habit of arising at home he
or she should make it the rule to conform
to the time that has been the one in order
in the household wherein they are visiting
1t Is very bad form and makes a most I'M
pleasant visitor to have a person evidently
anxious to be entertained. Good form die
tateS that the visitor should accept what
ever courtesies are offered and show appre-
citation of them, but the worst possible man.
ners are those that urge the visitor to sug-
gest just the sort of thing he or she would
like to do and which prompt fit of sulks II
the program is not carried out to the entire
satisfaction of the one who should be will
ing to be led rather than to lead.
No callers should be requested to visit the
house unless they are approved by the host
ess. When the family are ready to retire
the guest should be ready also and there is
nothing so rude as to burn the borrowed gas
away into the small hours. One feature OF
a peasant WISH Is Tor the guest TO realize
that there are times in the day when the
hostess would like to be alone. The dis
elimination that prompts the visitor to re-
tire for a while makes him or her all the
more delightful company when an hour or
two has refreshed both hostess and guest
and the strain of constant entertainment
has been broken. A cheerful visitor is, OF
course, desirable and above all things, when
the hour arrives for departure, let nothing
stand in the way Of determined going. No
matter how much the visit has been enjoyed
or how strong the persuasion for a longer
stay. the wise guest will depart when the
time is up. for it is level head that realizes
that short visits make long friends and that
the lingering which is so delightful to the
visitor may not be so pleasant to the host
ess. and that the chances of another invi-
tation are jeopardized by dallying over
much with the meaning and letter of the
first.