New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-09-23
HOME AND SOCIETY.
ADVICE TO 4 DEBUTANTE.

..onreN SOCIETY IN NEw-YoKK-AN AD1RoN-
cx sToRY-THE ADVANCED woMAN-soME
PERSONAL GossIP-NEw FASHIONS
.r.a first dinner OF debu;ante is almost as much
=, ordeal as her first BAL. and a much greater
% ~ her capabilities" remarked a woman of the
",a who had launched several daughters sue
N,.,,Ily Keep talking. l used always TO
~ NV crs even II you talk about nothing. Its
V r 20 be thought silly than stupid. and very
r,r girls are bound to be either the one or the
,ner as a rule II is fatal mistake to sit speech
~ a, the first few dinners Hostesses resent dull
vns guest and avoid asking dead weights a
.ond tine If they help ii. 1t really does not
scr wha, YOU say. Recite Mother Goose II
, like: people rarely listen TO you anyway and
-, must practise somebody.
'.Craduay the facon de parer will come TO YOU
,a YOU can cheerfully join in the talk of the day
1,out difficulty: but habit of silence once ac-
I'D and a reputation for du,ness and stiffness
80 fastened upon girl and society votes her
,.,vv and uninteresting however pretty. accom-
nushed and really well Informed she may be- All
,,a, may be utilized later on. and Will come al
r,rably into play after she has acquired the arr
=, talking; but in the beginning anything will do
rsl-k known novelist has said that by usage only
90, YOU attain the art of society talk. Gradually
a, YOU practise the system assduously, you WIZ
mi. 10 walk alone. Your unconscious phrases VIII
become exactly like those of your neighbors You
utI then only need to open yodr mouth. stretch the
o.al chords and supply the necessary breath ana
..mrsbly constructed inanities Will roll out without
effort.
Tho belief that the South held most Of the cu-
,re OF the country in the years before the war IS
s,l strongly fixed In the minds OF the people OF
,ha, region. One agreeable old gentleman VINO
snsak. the soft tongue curlousy tinctured with
,bs darkey dialect gravely argued the other day
tina, the language of the older southern States was
:. nurer English than that spo&en in England
II was the speech OF the cavaliers, he asserted
handed down in all Its old-time elegance and per
lection untouched By the demorarzng etymoloscal
,nAuences that have afflicted the Brtons of the last
90 years.
And he proceeded 10 talk about "cyar.' and
"cvarpet' and "Baltmo " in a way which would
have made his cavalier ancestors smne their s"oru
handles with amazement.
Prom a cosmopolitan point Of view. New-York
is doubtless greatly improved in the last couple
OF decades" said veteran clubman. But
question If modern society enjoys itself as much
as we used to quarter of a century ago. "heh
our world handful so 10 speak ana we khe"
every one more less intimately. what gooc
old times we used 10 have at the Four-n-Hand
Club only two or three of whose members hau
drags, 1t built on the side OF an impassaoie
hill, but was the scene of lots of Jolly impromptu
dances and luncheons. Do you remember j. sleish-
ing party. and how We let off fireworks In fn'h-
home Fancy
And the dear old Opera House, with Its giittering
horseshoe of opera boxes. and the double row OF
.nroscen,ums' filed with the most beautiful women
Of their day-their daughters cannot hold candle
10 them, in my estimation-whiie on the stage
staked our perennial favorite, Brignoli who season
after season sang his non tie scordar oil me- "h'Ch
we always applauded with the same enthusiasm
A, mo, T belonged TO the jeunesse doree then.
and now I am old and fat! The women the beau
tiful creatures Of long ago-good heavens, WHAT
changes! Some are gone. and others-"eh' the!
are nv good old friends and II Is one or my chie1
pleasures nowadays to talk with them OF pysone
experiences.
1T must confess, however, to having had quite
a shock in meeting Mrs. X. last winter-Mrs n.
who used to be the beautiful Miss b. in my young
DAVIS and who had lived abroad ever since her
marriage-and In realizing how /. too, must nave
changed In the lapse of years She was 1ohoweu
by a tall young girl whom she introduced as her
Aaurhter and after the first very enusive greet
ings which vain enough TO ascrioe 10 per
eonaI reasons were over the real mot'e vi he'
eagerness to attract my attention became appai
emf oh Mr.. A., she exclaimed. persuasNey'
.Olive has no partner for the german. win 80
old friend 1 thought l might ask-you kno"
every one-can't you find her one" WeN man
aged TO oblge her. although the task was not
exactly in my line. and then sat down oeside her'
expecting pleasant halfhour, for In the oid Gays
she was most amusing. But got scant gratitude
"a email attention She was completely absorbed
IN the Young men who dancing with her
nedreling What is the name OF the tan young
man.? Who is the short one" VINO Is speaking
N nv daughter now?' Is that MI So-aho-oo
who has Just taken her out? and so on, al hau-
.eum. until I retired in disgust. realizing more
,han ever that my day was over and that new
cenerat,on occupied the old familiar places
Some OF the simpler and quieter summer hotels In
the Adirondack region not the least comfortable
nrim
,o.ai ,ya,ters have not metropolitan ways. At one
~ those ouiet houses husband and wife. who were
stopping for a few days on their way North at
tracted by their pleasant manner the Hhl"s vi ''e
waiter detailed at the table. Madame ike true
American. called for a little more OF some par
,,cu,arIv nice pie whereupon her husband reouked
~ ,,cosev IN his care for her health. mo. no.
Mily" he said, you have had quite enough pie
for your good .x -.
..TAver Won mind him. Milly." said Enathan, the
waiter leaning her chair. perfect mass o'
sympathy. You kin hev all ther pie Their Isl heres
hull one"
7, IL hard TO say just what is meant by the
phrase 1.-The Advanced Woman" with certain
tvpe OF man Of the world 1t seems TO mean a
woman who uses her brains at all and Is any
thing more than a well-dressed plaything OF the
Turkish kind With the average man and woman
Il probably means simply the being VINO advocates
suffrage for her and who likes 10 speak on tne
platform The English literary man apparently De
slows the name upon that sister of the pen VINO
chooses to discuss in novel with modern frank.
ness the question of matrimony and the sentimental
ways of mankind. The editor of The lder' TAX
ing this view of the matter has. after ponderihe
the question How to Court the Advanced woman
determined TO ask these feminine novelists TO an
swer H.
Their response has been prompt George hger'o"'
the author Of "Keynotes.' boldly advances the
opinion that is inferior. that his superiority
has always been purely an economic one o"e DC
ueyes that the particularly intellectual woman
marry an average Of honorable charac-
ter and no overpus OF brains with a fair prospect
Of happiness Woman at her best, she says
will always be attracted by manly qualities In a