The Washington times., 1894-07-29
4 POSTAL FREAK.
An Address of Some Length and of Con.
siderable RythmicaIment.

An Address Of Some Length and of Con.
siderable RythmicaIment.
A letter with the following address was
mailed last week at the post-oifice In this city.
Tho envelope was necessarily OF enormous
size. 1t was directed to a very estimable lady
OF this city, now on a visit to the United
States agency at Rosebud, s. D. Together
with somewhat burlesque description OF the
agency and its surroundings, the address
gives list OF some of the all eyed supplies
distributed to the Indians by the government.
In closing the writer evidently thought that
something in the way of excuse or paliation
for the preparation of production so erratic
and, probably, unprecedented as to length,
was required. and intimates that IT was the
result Of inebriety. II so, it is a horrible ex-
ample OF the vagaries with which the human
mind Is infested after a too free use OF the
Glowing bowl"
Upon view OF this portentous document the
awe-struck post-office clerks came to the con-
ciusion that they would not take the weigh ty
responsibility Of forwarding it by ordi nary
post, but raised pony purse and sent it by
registered mail:
To ELLA $. BUNKER, by marriage a MRS,
She dwells in the Orient, when she Is at home;
But now in the Occident secs lit to roam
She is pleasant, polite, accomplished, well read,
mean not 10 say that her hair is ueU red
Oh, no, 1t Is blonde, of Just the right shade,
By Nature dyed, guaranteed not TO fade.
widow is she, but cannot be captured,
No matter how much the SWANS are enraptured
At ROSEBUD she is, amongst her relations,
At the AGENCY where they issue rations
To 10, the poor Indian" his papooses. squaws-
'Tis Uncle Sans work for humanity's cause
an
toes,
Blankets and iewelry, hoes and tomatoes
They furnish thu m plentiful rntions Of beef
10 see the beasts killed gives their minds much
relief;
1t pleases them well and assuages their grief
] know not whether they furnish them rum,
But one way or other the Indians get some:
And when they have Guafed il they war whoop
and yell
They ghost dance and fight, raise particular
well
Spring hats they giye-of a style to astound,
Which the charming squaws wear all tho year
round.
Ribbons and shoes, tin-cups, pans pepper and
salt,
But to this long list had best call a halt
In canyon romantic the agency's found,
Enclosed in stockade, with a board fence around.
This fence is built high, for its aim is, doubt
To keep the whites in, not the savages out,
sufficiently high, so none can shin over,
Must stay in at nights and can't play the rover
Besides at the gates are the Indian police,
So the whites can't get out and in as they
please,
All round are the cliffs like great battlemsnts
high;
Towering upward in siren 9Th, tops floating the
sky.
The Rosebud through the canyon flows,
Ripping, sparkling, laughing it goes
AS II its waves from fountain head,
Since first they rolled DER pebbly bed,
Had only heard the whispering breeze,
The murinurs of the waving trees,
Nor trembled at the war whoop dread,
Nor fel; the bisons' laundering tread.
The scenery there OH could shout IL,
II | only knew much more abont IL
Sometimes the hills with tspees are dotted,
On the high grounds the Indians are squntted
Their costumes mixed, whether It's man or wo-
man,
One sometimes can't tell, but knows it's human
These Indians are Sioux, and crafty fox:
Don't make mistake and call them s-o1l
In the s;Ockade many buildings are counted,
Their walls painted drab, with red roofs sur-
mounted.
The house of the Agent, the Doctors shop, too,
The school and the ration house also in view
There's the inn, the stan floating Red, White
and Blue;
There's the fount beasts porcine, canine and
feline,
Growing, barking, newing, gruntins, and
s4uealin':
Indian police 10 stop drinking and stealin'-
Won't let them play hockey" or break teachers
rule.
There's good Agent Wright. nice man all claim,
Doubtless he tries TO live up TO his name
There's the Doctor. no doubt a leech of repute,
With learning and skill beyond all dispute.
There teachers, with proper systems 10
suit,
Adapted TO cause Indian ideas to shoot,
In the COUNT OF MEYER, is Rose bud confined,
Pronounced Mayor or Myer? Oh, we'll never
mind
In SOUTHERN DAKOTA this paraphernalia,
DEAR MAIL AGENT, read, this direction won't fail
you,
Care of HOMER DUNBAR, rancher and clerk,
Who at the Agency gets in his work
MORAL
Young men Of this country beware Of strong
drink.
1t causes more capers than most people think
OH Take warning from me- WINE Is A
MOCKER"
Witness whereof sign
o. J. McCoRkER