Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-02-13

the response, sharp and quick "Nothingr' The orator who falls to talking about him. self and what he has done is only laying up a store of wrath for himself. There was a case in point at a recent dinner. A young official who has made peculiar success in his post, and who is we'll liked, thought to improve the opportunity for sounding his own bazoo a little. He proceeded to tell of various things that he had done, giving quite Q list of his accom- mplishments, and was about to extend this indefinitely when a cor respondent with strong lungs interjected the following:
 That's all right, but did you ever quit?"
 This sally was greeted with such roar of laughter that under it's cover the young official thought he would do we'll to take the hint and sat down.
 The after dinner speaker who makes the best headway is one who accepts the situa- tion as it appears and becomes roaster on his own account. The man whopraises the newspapers, or who passes around com pliments for the club, is sure to be groaned into misery. But the orator who launches out into all the abuse he can think of, with newspaper men and the press generally as his victims, is sure to be well received. The livelier this tirade, the more bitter and effective, the better the clubmen like it. They will sit as calm as oysters and take Inelr medicine. or, II commenting at all, exclaiming: That's the stuffr' Hit us again!'' 'You're all right!' This point may be of service to men who have never attended one of these big dinners, and who may some day be called upon to stand their roasting.
 Refinement of Cruelty.
 At recent big dinner of one of these clubs the menu cards bore a long list of toasts. Among those assigned to speak on conventional topics, like ''The Ladies'" ''The Capital City," "The President,' etc, were members of the cabinet, senators and representatives. These men had had no prior notice of what was expected of them. As soon as the oysters were served they looked at their menus and found that they were in for it. At once, as is human nature, they began thinking over what they would say. I chanced to sit beside one of these victims, and though ordinarily one of the brightest of cOnversationiStS not a word could 1 get out of him. He was eating in a me chanical sort of way and chewing the cud of meditation, running over in his mind the stories which he used to tell and trying to bring to the front, on some sort of preteXt or other, the jokes which he once success fully cracked.
 My friend and neighbor passed Q most uncomfortable evening. So did the six or
 
 category. Every minute they expected to be called out. But at last the hour of mid night had arrived, and not one of them had been called upon. Then the toast master announced that owing to the lateness of the hourit would be necessary to postpone these speeches till the next annual dinner, and thus, after being kept on the gridiron of suspense for four long hours, the poor victims were permitted to escape into the night air, where they could cool their fe- vered brows. Of course there never had been the slightest intention of calling upon them to respond to the printed tOasts. The whole scheme had been arranged as a refinement of cruelty which only a newspaper corre- spondent could be guilty of.
 Two Gavel Taps.
 It is serious question if the roasting" dinner has not had it's day The process makes great fun for the club and for those guests who know they are not likely to be called out, but it is death to the other fel