The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1894-05-26

| s,
nudge.
By Jove! l said from out of the
depth OF my surprise. l shouldn't
have thought it. Has your business
been success?
vi course, he said and showed me
heap of shillings. There must
have been fifty or sixty shilings
and | noticed that he took them out
OF the pocket OF brand new pair
OF trousers. 1t was a respectable,
well cut pair, OF a dark gray color.
This explained the note OF respect in
theporters voice when he announced
my friend Louis.
Can ! do any thing else for you?
| asked him, with all the politeness
which is extended to people who
pay their debts.
Many thanks nothing else. 1t will
all run smoothly now.
A few days later l met him accident
ally 10 the street. He did not see
me, AS looked casually at him, l
noted that again h wore a new pair
OF trousers, this time of a charming
chestnut color. He must be flourish
ing, surely. Again alter few days
he came into our office to make a
small payment into the bank. Al
most unconsciously l cast a look
upon his legs and discovered
another new pair of trousers, this
time OF an original, though not
particularly tasteful, olive mustard
green. | shook my head. How
very wasteful.of him to 60. thus into
trousers! Why could he not spend
a couple of sovereigns to buy a new
coat instead of all these things? His
blue coat sadiysErequired replacing.
| almost said so to him, but was
afraid he might then ask me to lend
more money, and only gave him a
friendly nod.
Meanwhile my study of the circum
stances connected with my old
friends trousers had the curious
consequence that quite involuntarily
! began to look at the trousers OF
every person with whom | came in
contact during the day. And imag-
inc what had happened To my
boundiess CONSERVATION | noticed
that all our clerks, messengers,
porters and other officials never
wore the same trousers more than
once. They all appeared every
morning in brand new trousers
and sometimes they even wore
one pair sa,in the morning and
another in the afternoon. The end
was that l could think of nothing
but this matter; it took hold OF me
more and more. During my wax
ing hours and in my very dreams
always asked the question: What in
the world induces all these sensible
people 10 be SO madly extravagant
about their trousers? AT last
could stand it no longer. | made
some testing remark about it to the
old porter whose business it was
10 announce my visitors. His
answer was given in a reserved
manner and with so peculiar smile
that the dread truth dawned al
once upon me; | was a maniac.
There was DO doubt about it, l had
a new disease, trousers mania,
peculiar kind of hallucination l
decided at once to keep the matter
a profound secret, and to say nothing
TO anybody. | was especially care
tul never again to breathe a word
about it to any of our officials, but |
could not prevent myself from stu ly
ing with morbid ninuteness, and
day after day, the trousers they wore.
1t was always the same. Every one
wore every day new pair Of trous.
ers, often even two pairs in single
day. Trousers OF all sorts and con.
ditions, striped, checked, light, dark,
long, short, tight. wide-it was mad
dening!
One dav | went secretly to one of
our most eminent specialists for men
tai diseases. put my case before
him, and was partly consoled and
partly Mortified when he was not in
the least surprised, but said, with
good humored laugh: "Well, we'll, it
is not so very bad.
"What did you say, doctor1 Not
so badP But plainly, | am madl"
Mad, he said very dirty. Yours is
most interesting case of halluci-
nation of the optical nerves. Get
away for a month.
# j: j: *
Time went on, and with it my
disease. | still did my work, and
the directors OF my bank even sent
me complimentary letter at the
close of the year. | ate and drank
as usual, but all the same | felt that
1 was sinking deeper and deeper
into the black abyss of insanity.
The first glance cast at people
at this time fell always involuntarily
upon their trousers. In this way
noticed with great surprise, how
very large was the number of new
trousers which daily made their
appearance in this vale of tears.
Meanwhile l was beginning to
think OF leaving my post, and OF
finding some work in Scotland or
Central Africa where | understood
that there are no trousers. when one
day my old friend Louis was an
nounced. Of course, said aloud
to myself as he entered for he was
indeed wearing new pair OF