The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-18

year. Whats churches for? Show? Not much! What's religion for? Pal ace buiiding2 Not much! Whats charity for? Gettin' your name In the papers? Not much Churches and re- iigon and charity have got to quit holdin' their heads so high. eatin' up folks substance. and givin' nothing but sound and words and sham. or eve rybody'll turn infidei and religion-hater
 fore long! Oh. h-h-h!" she continued in frenzy Of denunciation. If had my way. sir. I'd change all this with bangm
 The clergyman had managed to get into the vestibule. Clinging to the door knob on one side. while Aunt Mirandy held fast to the other. he was gently endeavoring to close the door and bow himself out. Being in manner on the outer and safe side of the incident, he ventured with some little satire to in- quire:
 And if Miss Trigtidy had her way, how would she improve matters?"
 She began improving them by giving the door spiteful pushes, which her rev. erend visitor gently returned. and. be- tween these rapid openings and meas ured closings, various propositions of a practical and emphatic nature reached both the suave clergyman and the trembling TrIgtidys on the basement stairway.
 "Pd get off my high horses: that's what I'd do"'
 Always a good thing to do." re- turned the clergyman blandly.
 "Td quit pilin' up church mortgages: that's what I'd dol"
 Good again." was the response as the door softly swayed back upon Aunt Mirandy.
 "I'd quit gettin' long haired foreign CTS for organists, operatic singers for choir soloists and millionaire nobodys for ushers; that's another thing I'd do" This with an unusually vigorous push of the door.
 "Ah?" floated back with the gentle swinging of the door.
 "Yes; 'ah' and 'ah' again, sir; and I'd take off some of my fine duds: get out of my carriage: get along with one girl in the ketchen; and get down alongside them that needs comfortin'; that's what I'd do, too. sir!'
 You would certainly be blessed if you could do~all that, Miss Trigtidy."
 Would, would I? Yes. I would; and so would you-gettin' right down among. the sore and the needy and the lame and the halt and the blind, with out any long face, or airs, or Im-better- tha .vo11-he ahoIIt if eitherV
 The clergyman had by this time got the outer door open, and he could there- fore most composedly ask:
 Like all true reformers, you speak from experience, I hope?"
 "Huh!-from settin' under your preachin' for twenty year." she retorted fiercely; land from lookin' around the church and just boilin' over all the time, because"
 Because all the rest of us were not at that precise moment toiling in the slums, presume? Very natural; very. We are not far apart in all these mat ters, Miss Trigtidy. Good morning."
 Inexpressible scorn mingled with a slight tinge of humiliation mantled Aunt Mirandy's flaming face.
 She slammed the door defantly be- hind the departing clergyman and rest ed moment against the huge carved newel-post to recover her breath.
 He's little right, and I'm more'n' right" she panted collectively. Lord! I wish I was a man and minister!
 Here Mrs. Trigtidys hand sought her husbands with a firm pressure of ap- provai.
 "But 'tain't too late! Faint too late. Here I've been holdin this house and home together for twenty year, with Triplebob a noodle and Clara ninny. Here I've been holdin' that church to- gether for twenty year. and that preacher pesky time server. The rest of my life I'll do some good with my own money to them that's under my own nose, my own way"
 That means us, Clara" whispered Mr. Trigtidy, gratifled at the apparent ly fortunate outcome and proud of his fine foresight.
 q won't wait day. I won't wait an hour. I'll begin this very minute!'
 "Gracious!' whispered MT. Trigtidy to his spouse. 'Im glad I'm late to, business this morning. We'll be right here together when she's in the hu- mor!"
 With this he began craning his neck above the banisters and clearing his throat as if to speak; but his more cau- tious wife silenced him with a gesture of protest.
 This minute" repeated Aunt Miran- dy vehemently. Among the millions fin this great city, can certainly seek out and succor some of the vicious and 
 MT. Trigtidy's face was suddenly clouded with a grimace of disappoint- ment and chagrin.
 T don't care how low they be. I'll lift 'em up by bein' humble; by bein' like 'em; by doin' like 'em; by actin like em; till they're weaned from the downward path. Lord! If I only was a man and a minister! But, heaven be praised! I'm a woman and can stir things up. This very minute I'll start the stirrin'!'
 She scampered up the stairs with un- usual vigor. returned shortly in her plainest street attire and with a happy face disappeared into the street; leav- ing the perplexed Trigtidys the tempo rary freedom of their own establish l nent.
 "Well we'll, Clara" murmured Trig- l tidy reflectively and yet compassion ately to his wife, we've stood it so long 1ow, hope you'll make the best of it; here's a dear. It's too much to lose"
 "Triplebob," she returned closing her | ,yes discouragedly, we've stood 1t so opp it,s too Yn11ch to keenio