Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-06-27
A FLYING COMEDY.

SOSy.
A FLYING COMEDY.
Tale of an Uncomfortable Wheel, a Fright
ened Rider and Two Good Samaritans.
1t all happened on South Side ave-
nue..
The shades of night were getting in
their work, and the peace of righteous
community was filtering through tho
atmosphere Brown and Jones were en-
joying their last cigars and conversing
on stocks. There is nothing frivolous or
flighty about Brown or Jones.
Suddenly there came swish of
feminine skirts, skurry of a bicycle,
and through the darkened air shrill
wall faltered, "Oh, won't you please
help me?" Then bicycle at full tilt
sped across the street crossing, and
Brown and Jones stared at each other
aghast.
fO-o-ohp' half cried the voice of the
disappearing rider.
''What in thunder does she want help
about?" gasped Jones.
''She wasn't tipping over!" cried
Brown.
''Her wheel was all rightp'
No one was pursuing
"Helpr' floated back to the crossing.
With one wild gush of alarm two cigars
were flung to destruction, and two repu-
table citizens went sprinting down Lake
avenue. Never since their college days
have Jones and Brown made running
record like the one credited to that
nights performance, with a movable
goal for an object One block, 2 blocks,
~, and the fleeing wheel with its Sob
bing rider came into view.
With an extraordinary squirt, Brown
and Jones caught up, grabbed the han
die bars and stopped the wild progress
of the modern Flying Dutchman.
what" - began Jones. ''How"-
gasped Brown, who was stout and un-
pleasantly conscious of something ridic-
ulous in the whole proceeding.
"OhH' quivered the feminine rider,
who was not young and not fair. "Oh,
how can ever th-thank you'll Oh, my
goodness, what scarei 1 can ride,
you know--just learned-but 1 can't
turn around, and can't mount, and 1
can't stop my wheel, and was getting
farther away from home every minute,
and, oh, dear, what would have done
if"-
Jones coughed. In her excitement
the distressed lady was reposing against
his shirt front 1t was fresh shirt
front, and her act disturbed him.
''Shall we get you started for homer"
queried Brown, who always had pres
ence of mind
ooh, if you wouldp' said the dis
tressed lady, and then the two reputable
citizens put her on her wheel, turned it
around, pushed her half block and
saw her disappear 1.-The darkness, leav
ing a trail of inarticulate gasps, thanks
protests and exclamations i'll her wake.
Stiffness fell over Lake avenue
Brown and Jones stuffed their handker-
chiefs into their collars and looked at
each other meditatively. Suddenly
Brown went into commissions. He
grabbed Jones' arm.
"How," he suffered, chow, say, is
that fool woman going to stop when she
does get homer"
Then they sat down Oh the curbstone
to recover and incidentally to calculate
whether the woman who hadn't learned
how to make the wheels stop going
round would eventually reach the north
pole or be drowned in Lake Superior.
''And yet" Brown says scornfully,
when he tells the adventure, t'yet some
misguided mortals claim that women
have sense enough to vote and decide
the fate of the nation! Humphr'-
Chicago News.
How Moody Made His Money.
''Mr. Moody's money-where does it
come from?" some people have asked in
connection with his mission work and
his pushing of the Northfeld schools.
Fabulous sums have been made by
successful authors through the publica
ton of their works, but the individual
profits of the greatest writer or novelist
who ever achieved fame and fortune
would be insignificant to what has been
derived from little by book called
Gospel Hymns and Sacred Songs" by
D. L. Moody, P. P. Bliss and Ira D.
Sankey. Millions of hands have turned
the pages of this little volume, and mil
lions of voices have rendered praise
from it. Publishing firms, both in Eng
land and the United States, have made
magnificent fortunes from the sale of
the work, and the receipts grow larger
every year.
The enormous sum of 81, $50, 900 cash
has been paid in royalties to the inter-
ests represented by Mr.. Moody since the
book was first published, 20 years ago.
The sale of hymns is said to have
reached the wonderful total of 20, 000,-
900 volumes. The price of these books
has ranged from cents up to $1.25,
but whatever may be the selling price
Mr.. Moody has received the uniform
royalty of 20 per cent. Boston Record.