The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1894-02-15
GROVER THE GREAT.
ANOTHER PRAYER TO THE A.
MIGHTY CLEVELAND.
His Faithful Democratic Subjects iiumbIy
Ask Permission to Kiss the End of His
big TOe-The GrOvel Before His Dicta-
rational Coz pulency.
Why They Love Him.


An Arkansas exchange publishes an
other PRAYER that is being offered daily
to almighty Cleveland by his faithful
but deluded followers and prints it in
full. Here it is:
Oh, almighty. all-powerful. all-wise.
most glorious. grand and glorious Grover.
Thou who sitte-t in Washington and smitest
thine enemies with the lightning of thine
wrath; who rewardeih those who serve
thee and cha>tiseth those who do not thy
bidding; the lightning OF thy wrath is ter
ribie. We bow before thee in humble SUBJ
mission. Stick out thy big toe that we may
kiss it. Oh, most powerful. most udOrtd
and most feared Cleveland. how Can we
humble ourselves enough before thee:
Help us. our great political master. to
make ourselves little that in our si.niii-
canoe thou mayest be masnified. For thee.
most powerful master. we will eat dirt.
Like the SOW. we will return to our wal
lowing in the mlrc.' We will not only take
up our own voInit. but take up that of amy
other dog which thou telle>t u to. We
live for none but thee. The more thou
kic,e>t US the better we will love tEec
Though our wives and children Try for
bread. we Will march in the process lion.
carry Il torchiight. wear Il Democratic
rooster i'll our har. and sing praises to thy
name. Oh. mghty father OF mnGwump
Democracy. there are none so great rs thee
Whosoever hindleth thy wrath is denied
the wedding garment. lie cannot enter
into the guest chamber, nor he eat OF
the official pie. In the greatness of thy
strength thou has put To iii. Int the Senators
OF ten states. congressman fly before thy
terrible wrath lil" leaves before the
autumn wind. With the jaw-bone Of an Ass
Sampson slew many PhiliS,ines But with
thine own jaw-bnn". which is not as good
the ass. thnu hast put millions to flight
Thou hast snOte the people. hip and thigh.
Thou hat CAUSED "A great plague to fail
upon them--even the plague OF poverty.
With thy strong light hand thou hast made
pleasant the paths of thy friends. bu: thine
enemies hast thou smiiten with terrib e
>nitr. They have been left out IN the
cold. No pO-tOtfice> or rOnsulship> gladden.
their hearts. Though they yearn 70 the
flesh pots. and gaze wi>tfuliy ut the official
pie counter. they are not allowed to par
take thereof. Their sin OF disohedicnce to
thy word pu,s uc> them at all times. They
are made to feel the Inconvenience or thy
diSpea>ure. Oh. most gracious master.
our hearts are full OF love Tor thee Thou.
oh. Cleveland. who art great in St. ture.
great in the biynrS> of thy neck and
paunc.. great in name and great in action.
Thou. in the greatness OF tiny greatness.
can st be President and fish half the time.
Thou cailest Congress together and telest
them what to do. and it is done even as
thou hast ordered it. Thou makeSt Il Moses
Dan. the tall sycamore OF the Wabash.
Thou commanded the people to follow
them out OF the wilderness of Free Silver
Co mage" The elders have done SO and
thy people will follow. Thou smotcst the
rock OF silver coinage an 10. there WIS Il
dearth OF money throughout the la nd.
There was weeping and wailin. aud gnaSh
in. OF teeth. The banks had closed and
the people were left in the suts.' Rachel
weeping for her ''-avin-s money and
would not he cOmforted. The fiery ser
penis of ''depreciated silver dOlar> were
biting the people thrOug hOut all the land.
And the people cried unto thee for >uccOr.
And thou didst command Sherman and Dan
to put Il golden serpent on pole. that
whatsoever had been bitten might look up
on 1t and be saved. And the elders fell
down and wOrshipped the golden serpent
and did everything rs thou commandest
them. Oh, most powerful Cleveland. help
us to sing praises to thy name. We know
we are unworthy to lick the dust off the
sole OF thy feet. We lie down our bellies
and put our noses in the ground. even as
AN Arh hog rooteth after the acorn
long since buried. We imnlOre thee to come
and Sit down on us with ali the avoirdupois
of thy political weight. Let thy fairness
| spread out over us. even as Il sick buzzard
would fail upon Il dead rat. Walk us to
thy hearts content. What are we here
! for il not TO add to thy greatness, to love
| thee. adore three. Worship thee and serve
| thee: We thank thee oh Cleveland, tn At
we are alive and permitted to even speak
| thy name without SHINING against thee.
| We fan wOuii touch the hem Of thy gar
| ment. but we couldn't stand it. 1t would
! throw Ms into fit. We would shake thy
hand and gaze into thy broad and lovely
! coilutenanre. but it would kill Us to com"
| into contact with SO much greatness. Suf-
fer u. most wor>hiptui master. to blind
selves and kiss the end of thy big toe.
no lvt f.art MO
| would then lie down and wiggie with Joy
| and gladne-> all the rest OF the days of our
! lives. When we died we would have GU.
| lips cut out and preserved in Il jar. to b.
| handed down from generation to gener-
! alton labeled: The lips that kissed the
! end Of CIevellnds big toe" On. mighty
Cleveland, We thank thee for con nting to
! he President. Thou art the only man in
the party that has sense enough to b.
! President. We THANK thee for the low
| price OF wheat--we could buy two bushels
| and Il half for dollar if We had the dollar
We thank thee for the millions that are on,
| of employment. for now we can hire hand
when we want TO and get him at our price
We thank thee for the hungry people in
the land. for hunger is good for dyspepsia
| We thank thee for the patches on the seat
of our pants. for the people will not mis-
| take Us for Il banker. We thank thee fol-
! the good dollar that we have not got. and
| for making the mortgage on orr farms bet
| ter than it was. We thank thee for the
| meat We sold to the banker aud the eggs
We sold tn the grocer to get money TO pay
! last years interest on our note. Take u.
| into thy protecting care. Kick Us wheneve,
| il suits thy pleasure. grind cur noses intt
the dust of political corruption. tell Il.
| what you want done and how you want u:
| To do it, give US occasionally piece o
official pie. and thine shall be the politica
glory a. long our patches can De mad.
To hang together. Amen
The eliminating Crime.
tra