The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-02-24
THE JOKER'S BUDGET,
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
ter Physical Proof Between Girl
Friends. Etc, Etc.

in AN ultimatum tone Of voice.
Madam, 4" said the tramp, I'D
admire TO chop that wood for you
immensely, on'y fur n thing"
What is that?"
when ] was a little boy my
mother ulster make me recite fur
company, and / said 'Woodman, Spare
That Tree over an over so many
times that the dee Of putin a axe
into anythin' i'm the shape OF wood
totally wrecks my nerves. "-[Wash-
ington Star.
% NO NATTER.
They say that Lightleigh Gold
wait il losing his mind"
well, he's lucky if that's all he's
losing. - Detroit Tribune.
PHYSICAL PROOF.
PatcrfaInilias-Wha on earth did
that young man mean by paying
you such an unconscionable long call
last night?
Mary-Oh, Papa, it was purely an
accident, you know. The clock
stopped ut half-past welve.-[Puck,
BETWEEN GIRL FRIENDS.
Miss Seare-Jack M~arblehead gave
me "A great reception yesterday. He
has a cannon on his yacht, and when
j came on board he fired a salute Of
ever so many guns-forty-nine, |
think it was,
Miss Smarte-One' for every year
OF your age, suppose Vogue.
II ONLY RESULT
"Why don't you give your SER
want an alarm clock so that she
will get up early i'm the morning."
We've tried it," was the sad
reply.
what was the result"
1T simply disturbed her rest a
little and made her snOre worse than
eve Washington Star.
AGREAT BORE.
Chollie-What do you think Of this
pwoposed income tax"
Chappie-I think it is going to be
"A doosid boah. Fancy "a fellah actu-
ally having 10 20 to the trouble of
finding out how much IA yeah his in
come is indianapolis Journal.
UNDERGRADUATE HoNoRs.
studying for college. eh?" said
the old gentleman a~pprovingly, as
the lad looked up from the diagram
before him.
Pm onto it hard" responded the
boy.
And what particular branch Of
study are you 'onto?'"
Tackle, centre and quarterback
answered the coming hero Judge.
TIE ATHLETIC GIRL.
Miss Flippey is devoting her time
to gymnastics almost altogether"
Eyes, I've noticed that she has
been practicing during the must
Gale
What has she done?"
Been throwing herself at Mr..
Coolmillion's head. II Inter Ocean.
THE CHARM OF RARITY.
Mr.. Matterfack and his wife and
daughter were looking at an old
painting, when the old gentleman
took occasion to remark that he
thought it didn't amount to no great
shakes"
why, pepper" exclaimed his
daughter, d" this is one of the rarest
paintings known. 1t is the only one
by this artist that has ever been
brought to America"
That's iist like a woman" said
Mr.. Matterfack. Here you air goin'
into fits over a little 7x9 bit of paint
cause there amt no other one like
it, and yit when | wanted to take you
and mia TO see the seven legged calf
you said | was IA vulgar old thing
indianapolis Journal.
4 DELICATE MENTAL STATE.
Toni notice that since Muggles
said he would thrash you you don't
90 near his place. Are you afraid?
Dick-N-no. Only I'm afraid that
maybe | might be afraid. -[Chicago
Record.
ADJCNCTS,
Mrs. Nuwife-What would you
suggest we have for dinner, lovey,
besides that pie I'm going to make?
Mr.. Nuwife (saddened by expert
ence)-A kit Of miners TOOLS Chi
cago Record.
A FoRLoRN HOPE.
Il wish, said the young man who
was calling. that some time you
would give me a little lecture on the
different styles of bonnet trimming"
Certainly" she answered. But
| don't see what you want that for
Its the only way | can get any
interest out Of the occasion when |
60 with you to the matinee. -
Washington Star.
roo MANY o HIM.
'In the matter Of family" sighed
the poor man who had married a