Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-08-18
AS YOU LIKE IT.
Stray Leaves From n Reporters Note
 Book.

Stray Leaves From n Reporters Note
 Book.
 t A MAN who seemed to know something about the ventilation of school buildings was talking about the matter the other day and said great many people do not ap- preciate fully the necessity of proper ven- tilation and hoped the district committee would use due care in providing the, best possible system in the Washington school. He said there should be l, 500 cubic feet of air per minute forced into a school room of fifty scholars and that there should not be more than ten parts of carbonic acid Ras in 10000 volumes of the air thus sent into the school room. This is a state law in Massachusetts and it is only a question of time when the same law will be in vngue not only in Connecticut but in every state in the union. The air intro duced into the school rooms by the best and most approved process of heating and ventilation is measured b yan infinitessimal fan which is sensitive to the slightest breath and in itself is one of the greatest mechanical achievements of the present century.
 PROSECUTING AGENT HoLoHAS has an- nounced that he does not care to receive anonymous communications in relation to alleged violations of the license law. Not withstanding this announcement the letters still keep coming in. Mir Holohan was asked to-day if it might not be some of his lady friends who are having little fun with him. Not by jug full. said the prosecutor. Whoever wrote this," he added, holding a piece of note paper in his hand, ''had better take few lessons in dictation before sending out any more such stuff" The letter referred to after giving the name and address of a saloon keeper read as follows. It is worth a place in anybody's scrapbook as a literary curiosity:
 "i Want too unforme Yew Howe two ketch thet fella go too the bak Dour. an nok tree tims som Wan Will say? whose thair yew say cady. yew Will bee toled cady livvs to Dours belo say thank va if the doant ask yew This Question thay Will say? Whair did yew com From say yew kam From beyonde thay Bridg. thay Dour Will, Then oupen and yew kan Waulk intu the kitchan whair meat hole Band of Bumars Spendin Thair sabatth."
 The letter then goes on to tell the scenes enacted in the saloon and concludes by asking the prosecutor if it is any wonder that the people who spend their leisure time in such places are ignorant, illiterate and lawless, and the prosecutor is wonder ing where the writer of this epistle spends his or her time and why the reformer has not caught on to little of the literary at tainments so common among the Ameri- can people, while the people complained of were fooling away their time in bar rooms. Some of the letters received are cleverly written, but all display a certain amount of meanness which leave the writers open to much unfavorable criti- cism. If you wish to send a letter to the prosecuting attorney on this business, send your name along with it. He will not make it known if you request him to that effect. This business of sending anonymous letters to men in public posi- tions is cowardly.
 THE best joke that ever happened me, said a prominent Bank street business man the other day. he sat in a good roomy chair in his store door talking with few friends, occurred shortly after John Moriarty engaged in the undertaking busi- ness. At that time myself and brother slert together in large room upstairs and when the warm weather set in we decided to put the big bed in the cellar for the summer and buy two small ones and bunk separately for awhile. I told my brother to to make the purchase. It has always been custom of mine to take a doze for an hour or so after dinner. We'll, on thi s particular day I was pretty tired and when my uoWu l Tell last asleep. As luck would have it, was in bed half an hour when Moriarty came down Bank street in his ambulance and my brother hailed him and told him what he wanted. Both came up to the bed room to see what size beds would be the most suitable and Moriarty took tape measure out of his pocket and started to measure the length of the bed I was lying on. He had the tape stretched from the foot of the bed to the pillow, just beside my head when awoke and seeing the undertaken with his tape measure and funereal face thought he was measuring me for coffin. l made a spring out of the bed over to the window and looking out saw the ambulance standing at the door, which seemed to intensity my fears. I think, " he added with a shudder, '.if the window had been open should have jumped down onto the side walk and Moriarty would have had to furnish a coffin instead of two beds. But the two men commenced to laugh and then their real mission dawned on me at once and had to laugh at the idea of it my self. Still there isn't time I see Mori- | arty but the whole business comes back to my mind