Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-12-22
THE CHARMING WIDOW
Some Explanation of Why Her Path is One
of Conquest.
She is sympathetic, Has Experience
and Is the Mistress of F1attcry
why Men Love Her.
From the st. Louis Globe Democrat.

SdmlNel, beware the NluueTSJ ODT
served the elder Mr.. Weller, and the re-
mark seems destined to b. quoted from age
to age as a perpetual reminder of the at
Effectiveness of the widow as compared
with other classes of women. Her charms
can not be doubted, they are too promi-
Lent; her power cannot be questioned, in
stances of its exercise are too FREQUENT.
Men admire the debutante; are delighted
to dance attendance upon her; are amused
by her whims; cheerfully obey her cap
rices; with them, her will, for the moment
at least, is law. They yield obedience to
her coQuettish commands. go their way,
and forget what manner of woman she is.
But with the widow it is not so. She is an
abiding presence. She supplies the def
cheney uncOnSciOusly existing in the young
girl. She has all the charm of the debu-
tante, the added grace of dignity OF ma
ture womanhood, and an indefinable love-
illness peculiar to herself. 1t can be felt, it
cannot be analysed. The influence of the
debutante is the perfume of the perishing
blossom: that of the widow is the fragrance
of the precious wood The debutante is
like the policeman, who, while present, is
obeyed. but whose authority is secuted the
moment his back Is turned; the widow Is
like the monarch, whose power is acknowl-
edged, even in his absence. To the former,
obedience is yielded, but without reverence;
the latter may be derided. but with fear
and trembling. The debutante is the me-
teor, the widow Is the moon.
The Widows Attractions.
The sources Of the widows charms are
numerous. She is strongly sympathetic,
and there is wonderful difference between
feeling for and feeling with the sorrows of
others. The young girl feels for you; the
widow feels with you. She has herself
suffered, she knows what suffering is. The
sympathy of the young girl may be in
tense. but is not intelligent. What does
she know of business cares, of the ankle
ties Of everyday life. of bereavement? The
widow knows all. for has she not lost the
partner of her joys and sorrows, has she
not passed through business anpoyances
can she not tell of the trouble she had in
settling her husbands estate. and how his
relatives tried to rob her? She has suffer-
ed all you have, and more for is not
woman alone in the world more helpless
than man? So, as the tear starts to her
eye your heart melts, you have found
real friend. Her sympathy falls on your
bosom like the sunlight across one of
Titian's landscapes, her tender tones charm
away sadness even as the harp of David
Soothed the evil spirit of Saul. Her SYM
pathy and her tears are her strongest
weapons. and she has them in perpetual
readiness, for the former is a living well,
full to overlooking, and the latter are like
the fountains on the lawn, ready to turn
on at a moments notice.
Her Experience.
Attractive as she may be from her sym-
pathy. she is doubly dangerous by reason
of her experience. Having had the man.
agement of one husband. she knows ex-
actly what will please, and uses her knowl-
edge to excellent advantage. She knows
all about every within. every mood a man
can have. also how to meet it, and as a re-
CT nf har In Lodi iS oJx
mood. If you are merry she laughs at
your old stale Jokes; if you are sad, her
race at once grows serious. She chimes
In with your vein of thought in conversa-
ton. You are, let us say. musical and
worldly minded: she recalls how charm
ingly Ncrdica sang the va Che Sapete"
In Mozart's Figaro last week: you are
musical and pious; she sings for you Men
delssohn's Rest in the Lord" and tells
yoG how sweet is the organ part of Han
deis HE Shall Feed His Flock" Under
standing the ways of men, she will lead
when you think you are in the van, and
when really commanding, she seems to
obey. She knows a man loves to believe
himself free. so she does not demand con-
slant attention. The young girl, proud CT
her conquest, is anxious to display her au-
thCrity: the widow, conscious of her power,
seeks to hide the chain that binds her
slave. The young girl is idealistic. wants
you to be all the world to her; to look at
no other woman: the widow is practical
and willing for you to wander as far as
you please so long as you do not break
the string. The young girl wants you to
live in love. roSebudS and kisses; the widow
knows that the way to your heart is
straight down your throat and that her
lunCheons will do more to win your affec-
ton than all the music and flowers In
ChristendOm. The young girl demands
that she shall be the center of attraction;
the widow makes you think that you are
the center, and that she revolves around
you, when. in fact, she is twirling you
around her finger.
Mistress of Fiattery.
The widow is, therefore, the mistress of
fiattery. Net of the gross, plain, fiat, shop
worn species that is every day heard but
that delicate variety which is not praise
but the suggestion of it, fiattery of which
you are yourself the author. She excites
your vanity. plays on your conceit makes
you feel quite comfortable and thoroughly
at home with yourself. After you part
from her you think what an admirable
woman she Is, because she has had the art
to put you in n good humor with yourself
"She is appreciative," you say to yourself
she is congenial," and behind each utter
ance lies the thought, "She has the discern
ment to see what clever fellow l am"
She has put you in love with yourself;
your self-esteem bubbles over. Some of the
droppings fall upon her. Thus do men fall
in love with the widow. Thus is the widow
gay and dashing, whether helpless and
clinging, gddy, dressy, designing, what
ever the adjective prefiXed to her, she is a
thing to turn mems heads, to make widow
ers oblviouS of the woes of a previous
alliance. to make old bachelors forget
their stern resolves and determine to pro-
pose or die in the attempt. But they do
not die trying, for making love to a widow
is as easy the traditional backwoods
feat of rolling off log, and the feminine
tact that leads the victim up to the pro-
posal diminishes that proposal from a
mountain to a mole hill. Counting girls is
ticklish business. They are as scary as
thieving crows in a cornfield. Not so the
widow, and he who goes widow hunting
may, in the language OF an oriental pro-
verb. "rouse a tiger when beating the
Jungle for a deer" Misunderstanding,
to the young girl serious task, to the
widow, in the language of the catrChism,
lis not only possible, but easy, by the
grace of Cod for the chief end of widow
life is to get another husband and the
widow gives close attention to business.
Black Pearls.
From the Gentlcman's Magazine.