The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-05-17

pay Ior Lno nan ana the p1anner, ana
the ads tomorrow. You do your enter
tainment. I'll take the money, and aft
er e10 We'll share the receipts
II should never have known you, sir,
with that beard. The old Forest ran
gersl Do you remember Captain Ross
being shot alongside me and you, SIR,
ct Waiapu? How he did bleed! lshould
never have known you, sir. Well, sir,
I'll tell you what it is, it amt no risk
TO me, and I'll do it. / can't be no
worse off than / am. How m to leave
the town and pay the hotel and doctor
and passage money on TO Tauranga,
blessed if / know. I'll do it, sir. Shake
hands on it. It's bargain. Ne and
you divides after 10 pound"
We cemented that arrangement with
another whisky, and away l posted to
the Office Of The Post The venture
looked unprotnising enough. The rain
was still sluicing down with purposetul
pertinacity. l half repented of my bar
gain. But the bond was as binding as
though it had been signed, sealed and
delivered and witnessed by all the at
torneys on the rolls. So sloshed my
way to the Office of The Post knee deep
in mud and water. The "old brute
had not turned up and was, in fact, on
one of his bursts, as certain fits of
temporary alteration are called in the
colony. l propounded the matter to
Clifford. He was more cautious than to
me appeared good. But wooed him
with my golden tongue, not only out of
the harmless necessary flyer, but out of
letter to the other papers, guarantee
ing the money for the next days ads.
''How about the show?" said Clifford.
Magnificent You wait and see what
I write about it when 1 RETURN And
away 1 went to The Independent and
The Herald, polished up the pro ssor's
ads, and as no report had been zone at
either place 1 wrote as putting para
graph as thought they would stand for
each paper and then hurried back to
The Post to concoct as flaming an ac-
count as I could contrive, and l think
may say that it was strong. l may
even venture to go further and to say
that it was about as glowing as such
notices can be made. Repeated appli-
cations to Roget's Thesaurus were neces-
sary. Clifford, who was reading my
slips as l finished them, objected once
or twice. Come, I say, this is too hot.
The old man'll have fit The old
man was the ''oLd BRUTE
well, from what you tell me,' re-
piled, hes likely to have one anyhow,
SO it won t NATTER Had the professor
been Houdin, Heller, the Wizard of the
North and Herr Frikell combined /
couldn't have been more lavish of my
admiration.
1t is usual to conclude this kind of
article with some notice of the audience
present, and here for minute or two
was fairly nonpIused. But the old
story occurred to me of the audience of
one at the Portsmouth theater. The
performance was proceeding merrily
when the manager missed the audience.
to the front, he asked anxious |
1y, "Where, where is the audience?"
Sir said the boxkeeper, "he has |
gone to get some beer, but he is delight /
ed with the performance and says he'll |
be back in a minute. !" 'Let business |
proceed" said the manager. And it |
did proceed. Why do not know, but |
this story suggested to me way out of
the difficulty / was in. I concluded |
with the following peroration ALTO
gether Professor Beda's entertainment |
is one of the most admirable and enter
tanning that have ever visited Alexander
or the colonies. At its conclusion the
entire audience arose as one man and
applauded the professor to the echo"
It must indeed have been Ito the echo"
Clifford was nervous about the article;
put, as l pointed out to him, no one
could possibly contradict word that
lad written, and ultimately my notice,
which extended over a column and
quarter, was allowed to pass holus bolus. :.
The rain had ceased when 1 returned
It in the morning to the hotel. Half
/ dozen times before daybreak I was
,ut of bed inspecting the weather. No
ain, the clouds had cleared off, and at
o'clock the stars were shining. A
old, bright morning succeeded. At
breakfast heard people asking, Were
'ou at the hall last night?" mo. Were
'ou?' No" at luncheon the mayor
# the city said, Its an odd thing; I've
sked every one I've seen today about
he performance at the Odd Fellows
lail, and not soul seems to have been
here. And I inwardly thanked Mr..
dayor for an excellent advertisement.
The professor and the other persons
oncerned held their tongues. l had to
nake it worth their while to do SO.
Ten bob for money taker" devel-
ped into a promise of sovereign if
be show paid.
And pay it did. The. seat plan at
lyon s, the bookseller, was well spotted
With names by 8 O'Clock. 1t was an off
ay at the house of representatives, it
vas the height Of the Alexander sea-
on, and the evening turned out one of
hose brilliant, cold, starlight nights
hat New Zealand alone can pro-
uce. The doors were opened at half
asst z, and I ensconced myself, wearing
pair of green spectacles, in the pay
lace. The melancholy musician struck
p a lively tune, and at II minutes to
the first shilling for back seat came
q. [ have it now. Luckily shilIings |