Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-05-31
PlTH AND POINT.


When > young lady declares that
sewing machine Galveston News.
She The happiest marriages are
said to be those OF people with opposite
characteristics He.sThat's why
am looking for . girl with money"
F1iegende Batter.
-Baptiste- You do not seem ia
brush your masters trousers every
day?" Jean-ssMais, non, he carries the
change in his waistcoAt pocket Jour.
nal pour Rire, Paris,
did you tender your resignation"
said q man to an ex-o1aceholder. 81
resigned by request, sir, but there WAS
nothing tender about It. 1t was tough.
sir. "-Pi Pittsburgh Chronicle.
-Muggins- $50 you made your debut
rs an actor last night, Ell? How did
You get on?" Footlite -'sOh, got on
all right, but couldn't get off quick
enough. Philadelphia Record.
-Dick-.Say, let's shoot of these
firecraclxers and make all the ladies in
the pparlor jump" Jim-ssGraciousl
They'd never hear 'em. Dick-.Why?~
Jim-'They're playin' whist. Inter.
Ocean.
"Pink1ey is throwing his money
away In trying to make q singer of his
daughter" Tinler-ssNo voice, eh?n
superb voice, but she's friendly and
agreeable with everyone" Inter
Ocean.
-She-"Why is it they speak of
man as q strong candidate? He doesn't
have to lift anything, does hep" He
"Er-not exactly; but his friends all
expect him to carry the day."-Buffalo
Courier.
-Wife-sNow, dear, what do you
think win really be woman's place in
politics?' Husband-ssAs they are so
seldom at home suppose they will be
classed rs the floating vote. Cleveland
Plaindealer. !.
-'sNo bad news, hope, in the black
bordered letter You have received?" Mr..
Grabber-"Well, guess not. My uncle
James has just breathed his last after
weeks Of suffering, and I'm his heir" -
Inter-Ocean.
-Hoax-ssDo you think the English
tongue will ever become a dead Ian
guage?" Joax-''Well, judging from
the way some people persist in murder.
delphia Record.
Mrs. Naybor-s'A woman never
really finds q man out until she mar
ries him, does she?' Mrs. Leftlone-
''Not il he belongs to four or five clubs
and twice that number of lodges, as my
husband does. Buffalo Courier.
90" said the lady lecturer, ST have
had such delightful conversation with
the gentleman you saw bow to me as
he left the train. He told me that the
emancipation of women had been his
life work for ever SO many years"
eyes," said the woman who hid come
to meet her, that is SO. He has been
divorce lawyer ever since I could re-
member. "-Washingtoll Star.
Probably His Best l3lan.-Reformed
Pugilist- Doctor, I'm thinking ofmar-
rying and settling down." Eminent
Surgeon-"Well?" ''Well, you see this
broken nose of mine. Can you straight
en- it?'' "No, my friend. 1t is too late
for that" "How about q false nose?"
''That would look worse yet" sCanf
you graft piece of flesh on it and kind
o. build it out?" s'That wouldn't. i'm.
prove it any The nose is all knocked
to one side" "It's too blamed badl
What would you advise me to do?"
"You say you want to marry?" eyes"
Have you got wife picked out YETI"
emo" "Well,. you can find plenty Of
girls willing to marry you, even with
that nose" doctor, I'm little bit
particular" "Then marry cookbook
ing blind girl. ~ Chicago Tribune"