Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1894-07-06
THE TALL SILK HAT.
1T COSTS A SMALL FORTUNE FOR A
FELLOW TO DRESS UP TO ONE.


Judge Crabtree's First One In Particular
An Experience ON the Newburg Boat.
'You look sad, observed Major Dodge
10 bis partner as the latter strayed into the
office
II am always sad after dropping in al
the hatter's to have my hat ironed, an
swored Judge Crabtree There are sad
scenes enacted in any place where silk hats
are sold.
'Still, " said the major, Il have stood
among these heartrending scenes, the floor
all sloppy with the tears of the wretches
about me, and been comparatively un-
moved. "
You may make light of this thing If
you want to- returned the judge but
insist that there is TO me something inf
nitcly saddening in seeing young man
buying his first silk hat with smile on
his face and the proud fires Of youthful
buoyancy burning in his eye He knows
not what he does-that he is forging the
first link in a chain which he can never
rend asunder; that he is forming a habit
which will cling TO him so long as he lives.
Little does he realize that silk hats cost $s
apiece, and that the shape changes twice a
year I just saw Snickett, that young
clerk in the Office OF Billydick, Puffer,
Popkins g. Smith, take the first downward
step. Poor fellow, he doesn't know that
he will soon be paying 500 for q suit of
clothes in his effort TO dress up TO his silk
hat
Il we'll remember went on Judge
Crabtree, chow l myself first forsook the
narrow way of the low hat and entered
into the broad and easy plaisance of the
silk hat Little did know that the shape
changes twice year, with an occasional
extra, like an evening paper, if the matters
get hard up. l went into the gilded silk
hat palace and said carelessly TO the clerk,
silk, please, 49,, and"-
Your head must have been bigger then
than it is now.
"It was This happened tho next day
after l won my first case. Seven and five
eighths / say, and it was a snug fit.
went out, family catching the stealthy
footballs OF the Goddess of Fame close be-
hind me-
Il was at this time passionately inter
osted in a young woman who afterward
married a druggist walking scoundrel
who wore a fur cap. ] had asked her to
take a water excursion with mo- and she
had consented Tho next morning we
boarded an Albany day boat for Newburg,
our intention being TO come back on the
boat we should meet there Ny heart was
licht for the sinister shadow Of that I'M
hanged apothccary had not yet fallen across
my pathway. ! talked gayly and leaned
against the rail of the boat with an easy,
graceful air ] was modcstly illustrating
10 the fair one the scene wherein l had as
tonished tho judge and caused the jury 60
sit in open mouthcd wonder when my new
hat tumbled Oft my head into the water. !
looked over the edge and saw it pass un-
der the port paddle wheel like a cham
payne cork beneath a tidal wave. / tied a
pocket handkerchief over my head and sat
down on a low stool beside the girl and
talked about the interest 1 felt in prison
reform.
THE corners of the handkerchief fut-
tered about in the wind and an 1S-month
old baby which "a woman was holding in
her lap near by called Dranma' every time
he caught sight of me. A deckhand came
and sympathized with me and offered to
lend me the hat of q man who the day be-
fore had reversed my experience, having
left his hat on board and gone under the
port paddle wheel himself, but l declined
1t. Ncwburg had moved mp the river al
most 80 Albany that day, but we caught
up with il at last AS we disembarked the
dcckhand came running TO me with my
hat Oh the end OF boat hook. lie explain
cd that it had been caught in the paddle
wheel and had 1oatcd out when the steam
or stopped 1 took it, shook IA small fish
out OF it, and WI walked on TO the other
boat.
Tho hat was not in good condition. It'll
was much battered with the pounding it
had got while going round with the wheel /
and il was water soaked, and its fur was
rubbed the roug way and IN some spots
worn of entirely, as IL the hat was molt-
Ing 1t occurred to me that it needed 70
b. gonc over with a currycomb like "A
horse. But my handkerchief had become
SO i battered the hat into
shape with a brick, brushed it with a
broom which 7 borrowed from the fireman
and put it on. 1t fitted easier. since much
Of the cloth paper leather, burlap limo
leum and Other ingredients had come out
felt that l presented the appearance Of
passenger who had drowned himself a
week before and had now rcpentcd and |
come back on board to finish his journey. |
We went up on the upper deck between |
-A4t SAllbhtHAtAh0f NAA'Lt NAlf ilbN NONlN AAlg
rapidly, and l talked of the necessity Of |
extending outdoor relief in the slums New |
York retreatcd rapidly, but we caught ~ /
by hard steaming. / thought felt an eel |
in the hat once, but 1t was only !
a piece Of gimp which had fallen down | !
heard passenger refer TO me as the sub. |
marine wonder and another explaining |
hat l was a nineteenth century norman |
thrown up 10y the paddle wheels l onvied |
.hc thoughtful tourist who had gone under |
he port wheel and left his hat to battle /
With the unkind world We landed at last I
md went homo in a cab, the driver look.
ng at my hat and collecting his fare in
ldyance We dropped the young lady at
Ter home, and at my door / gave the hat
% the driver. Up 10 three or four years
lgo he was still wearing it, carefully put
ing a rubber coop over 1t when 1t rained
o that it shouldn't get wet. 1 bought a
lew hat, but l was really nothing out by
he mishap, as found that the shape had
hanged while i was up the river, and
hould have had TO get u new one anyhow
n been mistaken for a coachman every
ime / appeared on the street. New
York Tribune.
a Knotty Case.
An amusing incident took place once
.bfla Tuloo David n / ofr1 VIVA G,1d{ua |