West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-01-25

PAS ncrrcs got unstruao"
"What was the matter? Didn't the
old soldiers treat him well? Didn't they
seem to yearn for his society" asked the
grocery man as the boy was making n
lunch on some sweet crackers i'm tin
canister.
well, they were not very much
mashed on Pa. You see, Pa never gets
tired telling us about how he fit i'm the
army. For several years didn't know
what sutler was, and when Pa would
tell about taking musket that a dead
soldier had dropped and going into the
thickest of the fight and fairly moving
down the Confederates in swaths the way
they cut hay thought he was the great
est man that ever was. Until | was II
years old ! thought Pa had killed men
enough to fill the Forest Home cemetery.
thought sutler was something higher
than general, and Paused TO talk about
i and Grant and what Sheridan told
him, and how Sherman marched with
him to the sea, and all that kind of rot.
until wondered why they didn't have
pictures of Pa ON n white horse, With
epaulets on and sword. One day at
school l told boy that my Pa killed
more men than Grant, and the boy said
he didnt doubt it, but he killed them
with commissary whisky.
1.-THE boy said his Pa was in the same
regiment that my Pa was sutler Of, and
bis Pa said my Pa charged him s. for
canteen of peppersauce and alcohol and
called it whisky. Then 1 began to in
quire into it and found out that sutlor
was sort of liquid peanut stand, and
that his rank in the army was about
the same as a chestnut rooster on the
sidewalk hero at home. 1t made me
sick. and ! never had the same respect
for Pa after that. But Pa don't care.
lie thinks he is hero and tried TO get
pension ON account of losing piece of
his thumb, but when the officers found
he was wounded by the explosion of
can of baked beans they couldn't give
1t to him. Pa was down town when tho
veterans were here, and was with him,
and saw u lot of old soldiers looking at
Pa, and told him they acted as though
they knew him. and he put on his glasses
and said to one of them, How are you,
Billr The soldier looked at Pa and
called tho other soldiers. and one said,
That's the old duffer that sold me the
bottle OF brandy peaches at Chickamauga
for -, and they eat hole through my
stummick.'
Another said: He's the cuss that took
$40 ont of my pay for pickles that were
put up in aqua FORTS. Look at the corps
badges he has on Another said: The
old whelpl He charged me 90 cents a
pound for onions when had the scurvy
at Atlanta Another said: lie beat mo
out Of my wages playing draw poker
with cold deck and the aces up his
sleeve. Let MS hang him. By this time
Pas nerves got unstrung and began to
hurt him, and he said he wanted to 20
home, and when we got around the cor
ner he tore off his badges and threw them
In the sewer and said IL was all a mans
life was worth TO be q veteran NOWADAYS
He didn't go down town again till next
day, and when he heard band playing
he would go around the block. But at
the sham battle, where there were
no veterans hardly, he was all right
with the militia boys, aud told them
how he did when he was in the army.
| thought 1t would be fun to see Pa
run, and so when one Of the cavalry
fellows lost his cap I'm the charge and
was looking for It I told the draeoon
that the pussy old man over by the fence
had stolen his cap: That was Pa. Then
told Pa that the soldier on the horse
said he was q rebel, and he was going 10
| kin him. The soldier started after Pa
with his saber drawn, and Pa startfsi TO
run. and Il was funny, you bet. Tho sol
/ der galloped his horse and yelled. and
/ Pa put in his best ticks and run up the
track 20 where there was board off the
fence and tried toget through, but he got
stuck, and the soldier put the point Of
bis saber on Pas pants and pushed, and
/ Pa got through tho fence, and guess he
! ran al tho way home.
at supper time Pa would not come
I % the table, but stood up and ate of the
sideboard, and Ma said Pas shirt was all
/ bloody, and Pa said more'n 80 Of them
I cavalryBen charged on him, and he held
I them at bay ~ long az he could and
7 then retired IN good order This morn.
/ ing boy told him that set the cavalry
= man onto him, and he made me wear
two mouaetrnps ON my ears al the
forenoon, and be says he will kill me 1T
/ sunset amt going 20 be there 1T sun.
set and don't you remember abOrt Il.
Wen, goodby. have got togo down "a
the norgue and see them bring in the
man that was found ON the lake shore.
end ses II the rnorgne keeper is drunk