Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-05-24
MERELY ASKED FOR PORN SAKE.

w llc- Il llhC w tthhh W oDAASDS-S
with sense. New York Press.
MERELY ASKED FOR PORN SAKE.
Borer-"G ood morning. I hope you
are not busy to-day"
Mr.. Busyman-'I am-very. Why"
Borer- "Because I'm going to take
up three or four hours of your time. "
Chicago Record.
THE HEIGHT OF EooTIsM.
Cora-:--"How is it when man writes
one famous story he very seldom writes
another?"
Merritt because he devotes the
rest of his life in telling us how he
came to write it. PUCK.
AN EXPLANATION DEMANDED.
"Did you say that some of my
transactions were shudy?" said the
young salesman to the floor walker.
Yes" was the reply. 'I referred
to the sales you were making over the
parasol counter. Washington Star.
DIFFICULT SUBJECT.
Belong to ladies' debating
club, do You? Well, we'll What is
the subject for your next debate?"
Shea very difficult one: Should
woman marry for wealth; or only
because it is fashionable fad?'"-
Puck.
Bishop-"Wha did your landlord
say when you told him that all your
yaluables were in pawn and you had
no money with which to pny your
rent"
Knight-"Hc said it was my move. I"
Truth.
REASONABLE.
Should you die, are you op-
posed to my remarrying?"
He-"No." --
She-"Why not?"
about the welfare of fellow 1 never
knew ?"--Life.
LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER CASE.
"Now," said the Medical Professor,
''if man were brought to you, Mr..
Hawkins, suffering from an unmistak-
able case of smallpox, what would you
do?"
"I'd light out" said Hawkins.
Hnrper's Bazaar.
AMATEUR COOKERY.
Young Husband" Say, darling,
what peculiar flavor this stewed steak
hast
Young Wife (diflidently)-"I really
cannot account for it. Indeed, in
order to take away the bad taste of
the onions, scalded them myself in
Eau dc Cologne. "-Neckar- zeitung.
WHERE woMAN's TASTE FAILS.
Nlanes-'I believe Tom intends to
retire from the world and live in seclu-
sion permanently"
Taylor-"What makes you think
that?"
Mnnes-'I just overheard him tell
his wife that she might buy his next
supply of neckties for him. "-Chicaoo
Record.
THE MhTE OF THE AMATEUR.
who's the new policeman, Jimmy?"
asked the woman who keeps the apple
stand.
81 Dunno replied the newsboy.
ttHnw did
policeman
"Becnuse he said thank you after lie
got through helpin' 'imself to me
stock in trade. Washington Star.
1T TOOK TIME.
"What did Congressman Binkles
think of that interview with him that
we printed yesterday?" asked the city
editor.
"Ho wouldn't say anything about
it, replied the newsgatherer.
'Well, he can't question its accur.
acy, can hep"
81 don't know. He hasn't heard yet
what his constituents say about it.
''BUCK FEVER"
Adirondack Guide Clear then
dogs? Jest you rest your barrel OF
that log. In minute you'll see EN-
break into the clearin'"
Young City Sport (forty minutes
later, as buck springs into sigilt) =
"There he comes There he comes
Oh, there he goesl There he goes T.
Guide-"Did yer think he was goin
to camp here over night? Pick up You,
gun Puck.
THE PROPER PLACE FOR HIM.
The Mother" That boy of mine j.
always wanting something. Las
month I bought him q bicycle, ano
now l have just had to buy pair o.
skates for him. don't know what tc
do with him."
The Uncle-"You don't know wha+
to do with him? If you have JUS
bought him pair of skates, should
say, put him on ice. New Yorl