The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1894-08-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A lazy horse always knows his lriver.
The eel is not SO slippery as a one.
dollar bill
There is no place like the home of
ones sweetheart. Galveston News.
There is no severer test of self-reli-
ance than threadbare suit. Chicago
Herald.
Try as best as she may the woman
suffragist is no gentleman. Adams
Freeman.
Doubt others more and yourself less
and you will have more backbone to
sell. -Tammany Times.
Clerk-"Are you going to discharge
me, then?" Druggist-"Yes; think
we can dispense without you. "-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Little Boy-"How long have you
had that doll?" Little miss-"This
is girl doll, an you oughtn't to ask
her age. Good News.
Convince some men that it pays to
be good, and you couldn't keep them
out of the church with a shotgun
Rams Horn.
"Just think, captain, the major has
actually married the rich old maid"
OBVIOUSLY he wanted to have his
golden wedding at once. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Sadirn--''Y You say Reckless has sealed
his DOOM" Cooley--"Yes; just saw
him lick an envelope which contained
a letter asking Miss Bossall to marry
him, Boston Courier.
Anxious Inquirer Ito crusty Old gen.
tleman) -"When do you suppose this
rain is going to stop" c. o. Ct
"When it gets to the ground, Of
course. South Boston News.
Foreign Visitor-"Is it true that
one man often hangs a jury III this
country?" Litigious Native with evil
dent regret eyes, stranger; but not
with rope. Buffalo Courier.
"Whur ye bin?" said Wandering
Mike. "Lookln' fur work" replied
Flooding Pete. "Well, you wanter
look out. Yer idle curiosity'll be the
ruination Of ye, yit. "--Washington
Star.
Toby Ito ecentric man -"What ara
you doing with that box?" Poperkaq
-"Going to make O wagon OF it"
Toby-"Where'lly ouget the wheols?"
Popperkaq-"Out Of your heal >
} New York Journal.
"Did I tell you that dear Mrs Film
sey has invited me to spend the sum-
mer with her?" Madge-"No. Then
1 was right. You have not known each
other for very long time, have you?"
Chicago lnter-Ocean.
The Young Man Oracle, what is
it your father sees in me to object 20,
darling?" The Young Woman (wiping
away tear)-"He doesn't see any
thing in you, Algernon; that's why he
objects. Boston Home Journal.
"Can any little boy here asked
the visitor, "give me an example of
the expansion of substances by heat?"
81 cam" said Tommy "Our dogs
tongue is twice as long now as it was
last winter. indianapolis Journal.
He-'T had my picture taken along
with Nero-my big st. Bernard, you
know. May have the pleasure of
presenting you with a copy?" She
"Oh, I guess so. I always did admire
handsome dog, Indianapolis Jour
nal.
New Arrival Ito subdued-looking man
in the hotel ofice)-"You are the
clerk of this hotel, I suppose, sir?"
Subdued-looking Man-"Oh, you
aatter me, sir I am only the pro-
prietor !"-Browning, King & Co.'S
Monthly.
''Fact is, said the grocer, there's
no money in coffee nowadays" "That's
comfort" replied the customer,
"but there's most everything else in
it. In the lastapound 1 got there we're
eight beans, three peas, six single
nails and handful of gravel stones"
Boston Transcript.
"Did you ever notice." said Mrs.
n. Peck, "that about half the pictures
in the photographers windows are of
bridal couples9 wonder why they
always rush off to a photographer as
soon as the knot is tied?" 81 guess
the husband is responsible for it,
said Mr.. Peck. che realizes that it
is about his last chance to ever looF
pleasant. "--Cincinnati Tribune,