Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-12-20
A Political Bill Nye.

Inc h1CQmOnO lines Is Fapluly Ue-
coming the William Nye of southern
politics. The editor has a streak of
juicy humor in his bones that crops
out in the most unexpected places.
A few days ago, the editor ANNOUNCED
in the most solemn fashion that he
would refuse to support Mr.. Cleveland
for a third term. This announcement,
apropos of nothing on the face OF the
earth except the frolic fancy of man
who gilds the gloom of the heavy poll
tical articles of The Times, caused a
litter that extended to the back seats.
A little while afterwards the editor de-
clarcd, behin1 the heavy mask of his
solemity, that. as the people of the
south were represented in congress
only through the generosity of their
conquerors, they ought to take back
seats in the national legislature and
allow their conquerors to dictate all
legislation affecting the financial in
terests of the country.
This proposition was laid down with
so much gravity that the readers of
The Times would have been bound to
take it seriously bnt for one fast, name
ly: that the frolicsome editor reserved
the right of the southern representa-
To fofo ho oh or Of ri
Legislation, giving as a reason that
the tariff affects southern as we'll as
northern interests.
This was, of courte, equivalent to
declaring that financial legislation
does not affect the interests OF the
north and south alike, and, as no sane
man would make such an assertion
seriously, the nature of the joke made
itself apparent to the readers Of The
Times.
Saturday, the editor had another
burst of humor that will appeal to the
risibles of the whole country. He de-
clares that he is opposed to the Monroe
doctrine. He jumps on it and demol-
ishes it, and appeals to any one in the
entire congregation to show him when
and where congress has ever enacted
any such doctrine into law. But let
our political Bill Nye speak in his own
proper person.
The Monroe doctrine is the sole
ground upon which this country can
take a part in any contest that may
arise between England and Nicaragua.
To join Nicaragua in the contest we
must announce that the United States
will not permit European monarchy
to establish any footing upon this con-
tinent. There is, of course, no princi-
pie of equity or justice in any such
position. 1t is arbitrary, highhanded
and dictatorial. Can England submit
to the demand?
We do not see how she can do it,
We do not see how she can permit the
United States to deny her right. to go
to any part of the earth that she pleas
es outside the territory of the United
States and establish there whatever
conditions suit her and the other peo-
pie with whom she deals. If the claim
an be maintained at all. it would log
ically involve right upon our part
to prescribe the terms upon which En-
gland might trade with other countries,
and it would even go the length OF
authorizing us to forbid her trading
with the countries of South America.
Could England concede any such
claim upon our partP 1t is preposter-
GUS to suppose that she could or would.
She would be bound to fight, and fight
to the point OF imperiling her future
existence, before she could concede
anything of the sort.
Observe the side-spitti9g character
of this proposition. HereTs a demo-
cratic editor in the capital city OF
Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe's
native state declaring that the Europ-
can monarchies have q perfect right
to come over here, dispossess the