River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-08-30
wOMAN'S WASHSTAND.
She Seems to Cherish It Above
All Things.

All Things.
II you take up any society novel
that pretends TO portray American life
and manners, and open il at the place
where Percy Algernon Fitzdutch goes
20 call on Miss Gladys Heapstyle TO
propose marriage. or elOpement. or
suicide. or 10 do nothing at all-which
would be more in accordance with the
traditions of the society nOvel-yOu
viii find that it goes something like
this:
Percy had hardly touched the
Heapstyle door bell when he was adj
mitted by the old butler. whose digni-
fed visage frightened at the sight of
the young man, whom he ushered at
once into the sunny morning-roOm.
why, how late You are" cried
Gladys. half rising from her delightful
nest among the multitudinous pillows
Of the great divan. Her mandolin lay
at her feet by the side of the latest
novel: and As she spoke she cOquet-
tishly rearranged a bunch of flowers
in a crystal vase
Or perhaps this is the exact for
mula
"a discreet knock upon the rose
wood door was all that was necessary
20 gain admittance for our hero to The
dainty bOudOir where Gladys Heap
style lay back languidly in her luxuri-
Gus fauteuil"
That is about the way il reads. isn't
II? Yes2 Well. il isn't so. IL never
happened that way. Not in this coun-
~ -. --.,,,- r,..,-
Il Gadys lIeapstyle was an American
girl
But here is what IA naopen.
Whether il was a dignIhed oIC!er or a
neat and attractive housemaid who
admitted Percy Algernon. he or she
shot that young man straight into the
parlOr, and seuttled off upstairs-One
flight. two flights. three flights. as the
case might be-to Miss Gladys bed
room, and routed her out of that
sacred asylum 70 come downstairs and
see the man she had been expecting
for an hour and a half And the mo-
ment his call was over Gladys gath
cred up her front drayer'es and ran
upstairs as hard as il she were sprin-
ting for a hundred-dollar prize; and
she didn't feel really comforts BILE OF
like herself until She got her rocking
chair hitched up close to the wash
stand.
For. To the true American woman,
there Is no room in the world like her
bedroom; and life without a bed, a
washstand, a pitcher and basin.
sOaP-dish and a sloP-jar. is a barren
blank. You may think that Gladys is
happy when you see her sweeping
through the magnificent ballroom be-
tween ranks of bowling admirers. with
the chastened glory of the electric
lights Illuminating her sunny nair and
.er goddess-like brow. And. in a way,
perhaps she is happy. But il is not
the genuine solid happiness of sitting
In a room with a bed and washstand
IN il, where she can feel the near pres
ence of the sOap-dish and the tooth
brush mug. and the box of combings
under the bureau. IL is only in such
sacred surroundings as these that the
true American woman can be truly
happy.
The bedroom disease pervades all
classes of American wOmanhood. It
knows no restrictions Of wealth. fash
ion, locality or social position. As
far as the passion for bedroom life is
concerned, the millionaire's wife and
the spouse of the humblest shanty
dweller stand. or rather sit. on exactly
the same basis BE il ever SO humble.
there's no place like the bedroom.
Gladys + a child of wealth. She
lives in sunptuous New York home.
The rooms on the lower floor are many
aud comfortable. There are sunny
rooms and shady rooms. There are
warm rooms and cool rooms. large
rooms and small rooms. But if there
were a wilderness of apartments, each
ae more beautiful than the other.
gladys would fly them all TO new her
self up in her bedroom. happy in her
proximity 10 her washstand as a de-
votee who draws near the altar with
the mystic longing of devotion. Her
occupation matters nothing. To her
bedroom she takes her reading. her
sewing. her fancy work; il is there
that she practices upon her mandolin or
her either; and il she could carry her
piano under her arm she would have il
up there
I do not know how the bedroom dis
ease first got its insidious grip On the
women of our country. I only know
that il has obtained such hold upon
their systems that they are, in all
probability. beyond any mortal cure.
There may be regulations in Heaven
20 keep those blessed angels in the
streets. or in the jasper vestibules, or
tine crystal front parlOrs. or some place
where slOp jars and washstands are
not; but never on this poor mortal
earth will you get the American
woman To give mp her habit of tester
ing in her bedroom during every
minute OF her spare time.
There was one man who once at
tempted 10 buck against the bedroom
habit. lie was very rich man who
had made vast fortune in the west,
and he had a wife of whom he was
very tond. She had injured her health
by sitting day after day in the MAS
matte atmosphere of her toothbrush
and cOmbiugs, and he wanted to try
TO reclaim her. To make a healthy,
happy woman Of her. - he built a
house that might have been called a
palace. IL any one OF those wretehed
oA1 European AahsNNH NNAN AAS-AAAAA-
dredth part "a good as the kind of house
an American builds when he sets out
TO please his wife. One specially about
this house was that il had more differ
ent sorts Of rooms than any house that
ever was heard of. II had parlOrs and
drawing-rooms and withdrawing
rooms, and without drawing rooms, and
dining rooms. and wiuing-rOoms and
music rooms and picture rooms and IL
braries and aviaries and apiaries and
Conservatives aud Observatories and
every possible and impossible archi-
tectural outfit that ever was devised.
But the heart and soul of the whole
house was the bOudoir. IL was on that
bOudoir that this man flung himself
He had fought in the wild west with
savage Indians and rough frontiers
men In the face of countless obsta-
cles he had made himself rich and re-
spected His courage was dauntless:
ehilled-Steel was mush in comparison
with his nerve. This was the man
who had undertaken to cure his wife
of the bedroom habit
The oOudoir that he offered her as q
substitute for her bedroom was a mar
vel of nineteenth century art. In or
der TO get / just exactly right. he sent