Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-11-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

uU MOt OF The DAY.
Lives of great men remind us of
little episodes in our own.-Puck.
Every cloud has silver lining, but
Peck's Sun.
The Chinaman loves solitude. Even
che soldiers seek their retreats
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
She-'1t takes two to make bargain,
you know" He-"Yes; but only one
gets it. Boston Courier.
If the bass drum could think, it
would probably wonder why it has to
to keep still SO much. Rams Horn.
To lose chance for free advertise
ment is the Kansas mans idea of fu-
ture punishment Kansas City Star.
My shelf holds books Of many an age,
And many are books of price and fame,
And writ on many a title-page
Is many different owners name
Judge.
Marriage is the hereafter of court
ship, and people never know what it
will be till they get there. Detroit
Free Press.
We never see citron without
thinking it should be arrested for try
ing to look like Watermelon
Atchison Globe.
1t is said that photograph can be
| taken 500 feet under water. We have
seen several that ought to be taken
there. Chicago Dispatch.
| I've studied women sweet for years
And got to know them SO!
For now just what they'll do Qhe dearsD
| know that don't know.
Judge.
Pastor-"You ought to be ashamed
of yourself. Even animals know when
to stop drinking" Toper-"So do I
when 1 drink what they do. File
gende Blaetter.
One of the greatest SORROWS of age
is that, with increasing years and ex.
perience, man loses that blase feel
ing which was such pride and COM
fort to his youth. Puck.
Kashem-"Why don't you put o
check to that fellow who is ever
lastingly dunning you?" Bilker-
| w uut u NO bIO uo0' 4aO O0Ah
wouldn't pay it. t."-Buffalo Courier.
"Hello!' said the chestnut to the
robin, "What are you?" 'I'm little
Bird" said the robin. ''What are
you?" 'I'm little buried, too"
said the chestnut -Tammany Times.
Suffer- know that girl who
refused me? She has just insulted
me by inviting me to dinner" Dash
away-"What are you going to do?"
Stuffer-"Swallow the insult. New
York Sun.
An nabsent-minded Southwark woman
went to the bank the other day to
have cashed cheque her husband
sent her. She Endorsed it thus
"Your loving wife, Mary Miller. -
Philadelphia Record.
A man who would be indignant at
being called grumbler will accept
without disfavor the name of pessi-
mist. Nevertheless, most pessimists
are, after all, only chronic grum-
blers.-Christian Inquirer.
$50 you let the prisoner off on his
word for couple of days, Gid your"
asked the captain. 81 did," answered
the lieutenant "And do you think
he will come back on it or go back on
it?" t?"-Indianapolis Journal.
"Why didn't you give the alarm
when you awakened and saw the burg
lars in the room?" Mr.. Nupah-"1
saw they were entertaining the baby,
and what was paltry $400 compared
with that ?"-Chicago Inter Ocean.
''Parker uses great deal of CO.
logne. it seems to me. Awful bad
form !''rs.id Hawkins. ''It would be
in you," said Hicks, "but it's family
pride with Hawkins. He comes of
old colognial stock. "--Harper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Flatter-" George, dear, the
cook is going tomorrow. George
"Why, what is the matter with her!
thought she liked the place. Mrs.
F.-s'That is the trouble. She says
she is too contented with us. Brook.
lyn Life.
Everything that is dono in this
house is always blamed onto me,
shifted the small boy, IAN I'm jist
gittin' tired of it. I'll run away, that's
what I'll do. Dog-g mean to
be the Lii Hung Chang of this family
any longer. Cincinnati Tribune.
Stranger Would you kindly show
me the way to the cathedral?" In.
telligent Native-"That is not difficult
to find. You just walk down that
street yonder, and at the farther end
you will see small provision shop on
your left. The cathedral is exactly
opposite. "-FlleQende Blaetter