davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
ADVENTURE OF A CAT.
Tho Simple Facts of It's First and Only
Ride on n Dumb Walter.

Mr.. David Baillie, formerly of Edin-
burgh, has two Maltese cats, Punch and
Dynamite. Dynamite, Us might be in
ferred from his name. is alert and ac-
robatic. Punch has soporific temper
ament, and spends most of his time find
ing soft and cosey places and lying In
them. Mr.. Baillie. who speaks Maltese
almost as well MS he does Gaelic. and 10
therefore somewhat familiar with tho
emotions Of the cats, says they are the
most remarkable pair of felines in New
York. Other folks with animal pets
and babies have been known to express
.he same sentiment about them.
Since an adventure several weeks ago
Punch has not been SO sleepy as he used
10 be. He saw the door of the dumb
waiter shaft open, with the waiter itself,
ooking particularly snug and inviting.
standing at the door. He decided that
The waiter was just the proper size for q
Injurious cats bedchamber. so he leaped
,oftty in and went to sleep as quick as
Dickens fat boy. That was about an
aour before daylight. An early and
vigorous butcher boy came into the
basement and gave the dumb waiter
rope yank that startled Punch out Of
his slumber and set him otuivering with
.ear as the dumb waiter bumped and
.attled down the shaft. Punch was
never SO wide awake in his life. He
aad gone down three floors, or from
he fifth to the second, when he noticed
CLEAN of light. 1t came from the
open shaft door cf the kitchen on the
second floor. Punch msde a blind, wild
cap for the light.
1t happened that an Irish seavant girf
was sitting on chair with her back to
the dumb waiter wiping the sleep out Of
her eyes. Punch did not see her when
be made his frantic leap for liberty.
He landed in her back hair, and she
omitted a yell that frightened Punch
more than his experience in the dumb
Eaiter. He let go the girls hair in .
tiffy and dashed through the fiat like Q
mad cat, waking everybody in his
dight. When he reached the parlor he
in corner and waited for de-
velopments- As the house did not tum-
bic down be began 90 recover his COM
posure and to meditate on the uncer-
tainty of dumb waiters and servant
girls. He was discovered later in the
morning by the mistress of the hat, who
recognized him as one Of Mr.. Baillie's
Maltese pets, and sent him up stairs.
Punch cannot be peruaded now to
60 near the dumb waiter. When he
hears tho grocer boy or the butcher boy
rattling the rope he retires to the parlor.
de is now very carUful about the PLACES
he selects to take . nap in.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
NEW WAR AMBULANCE
VALUABLE INVENTION FOR THE cAUl
or HUMANITY.
n Carried by the Troops I'm Small Part
Into Battle, where 1t Can Ise Easil,
Put Together.

The war department I'm Washington
will receive from the agent Of the
Society of the Red Cross, in Berlin, .
very interesting model of new field
ambulance, which promises TO work
complete change In the ones used a.
present. The extraordinary progress
made in the improvements of modern
firearms, the introdu ction of smokeles
powder, with more rapid firing, and
perhaps, most Of all, the ever presen
fear Of "A sudden war, all has had "a ten
dency to keep the members of the Res
Cross on the alert for perfecting thet
equipment The rapid mobilization
and transportation of large bodies O
men Is of the greatest importance IL
modern warfare, and everything els
is secondary to this great principle
This naturally embraces all that Il
used In field hospital in the way q
sanitary appliances. The most i'm
portant part of Red Cross outfit Is tn.
field ambulance. This, in order to full
ly answer its purpose, must be con
Senlent anu easily transportaDle IRON
one place to another. II is necessary
that it be kept in frst-class condition
so as 70 be ready for instant use under
all circumstances, in all kinds oi
weather and in all localities. The field
ambulances that have been and are
being used at the present time are
heavy and clumsy, it being necessary
TO place them on army wagons wher
taking the field. Another objection ::
the old style Of ambulance is that they
all are made of wood and canvas and
thus greatly liable to destruction from
outside influences as well as being very
difficult to cleanse in haste. the pick
ing up and receiving of wounded with
in the line of fire is also coupled with
great difficulty and is in narrow
trenches practically impossible.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
The German Kaiser Forced to Bar Then
at Imperial Entertainments.

Clumsiness in dancing has for long
I time been regarded as most unpardon-
| able sin at the various royal and i'm
perial courts of Europe, where the high
ly polished and parquetted floors of the
palaces and the spurs which form part
and parcel of every fulldress uniform
render waltzing matter OF some
danger.
At Berlin accidents of this character
have been so frequent until year ago,
says Tog4e. that shortly after Christmas
Emperor William summoned the general
commanding the various troops station.
ed in and around Berlin and Instructed
him 10 direct those officers who were
not able to dance properly to abstain
from attempting to do so at imperial en-
tertainments. Since then young officers
are put through their PAGES BY their
seniors, and are obliged 10 display a
certain proficiency in pas souls around
the messroom billiard table before being
allowed to dance at court.
On one occasion-a court ball at
Berlin-a young cavalry subaltern in
CURED the anger of the late Prince
Frederick Charles by tripping up his
partner. The pridce assailed the Young
officer so bitterly that the late Emperor
Frederick. then only crown prince. was
Obliged to intervene. At the Eiennese
court young secretary of the Rouina-
nian legation once fell SO unfortunately
while dancing with one of the arch
duchesses that he came down in a sit
ting position on her face, causing her
Hapsburg nose 10 bleed.
1t is scarcely necessary to add that he
left Vienna the next day and a week
later obtained his transfer to another
post. The duke of Aosta. nephew OF
King Humbert of Italy. broke his ankle
last winter while waltzing at ball
given at Rome by the popular Nine le
Glait, the wife of the Belgian minister at
Washington. and few weeks before
the tragedy at Meyerling the now
widowed Crown Princess Stephanie
had nasty fall, due to the gaucherie of
. cavalry officer with whom she was
waltzing.
Emperor Francis Joseph was much
annoyed. and So, too. was the late
Crown Prince Rudolph. who spoke his
mind in no measured terms to the cul-
prit. Far more polite was the Emperor
Napoleon Ill, when, at Tulleries ball,
middle-aged officer and his fair part
ner came 10 grief. As the mortified
dancer scrambled to his feet, the em-
peror kindly extended hand to help
him. and, turning to the lady, remarked:
Madam. this is the second time l have
seen the colonel fall; the first time it was
on the battle field of Magenta"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

He-Now that you have obtained
your divorce we can DC married at once.
can't We?
She-Married at once! Indeed we
won't be married at once, can just
iell you that. For the first time in
three years, | am free woman-free
as a bird-and am going TO enjoy that
freedom for little while. Its lovely.
My goodness. II ow long?
Well, two or three hours, anyway.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
wooiNc sv PROXY.
Concluded TO Enter the bonds 6f Natrf
mony but backed Out.


mony but backed Out.
A correspondent of the Chicago
Record hearing a woman s=ying @Girls
are queer creatures" recalls q similar
sentiment from the lips of one Nick
Taylor Of Sykeston, N. ID.
Taylor, so runs the story, once
yearDed for the bonds Of matrimony.
At that time women were as scarce in
Sykeston as playing cards in q baptist
congregation. Fate, however, in a
spirit of irony, waited copy of q
matrimonial paper into Nick's vicinity
He at once addressed a tender missive
to an advertiser in the personal"
column, signing his name "John Smith.
After a short correspondence 1t was ar
ranged that Arethusa-the lady in the
case-should come TO Sykeston. Nick
was TO meet her at the train and, TO
avoid mistakes, was to wear a red rib
bon in his button-hole which would
match another on Arethusa's umbrella.
After entering into this agreement,
however, Nick was rent with conflict
ing emotions. AS the day and the
hour drew near when Arethusa was TO
make her appearance, his courage left
him completely. Dropping into 4The
Colonels Own" to stiffen his upper lip
with "bracer," his eye fell on old
Jerry Simmons, who was known as the
homeliest man in Wells county. Nick
piled Jerry with liquor until his
natural charms were supplemented
with vacant leer that made look in
10 his countenance well-nigh fatal.
Then Nick softly removed the ribbon
from his buttonhole and tied it in
Jerry's, took him by the arm, guided
him across the street TO the depot and
seated him astride nail keg on tho
platform. After this Nick took up a
position inside the waiting-room at .
convenient window.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

speaking about odd ways of making
q living" said q lawyer. Il can tell you
a new one. and it Is followed by a man
who says he does fairly well. He goes
from office to Office all over the city and
does nothing but sew on buttons for E,en
of all kinds. bachelors and boys and
married men. too. It's nickel q but.
ton. and he generally furnishes the but
ton. though In most cases he says the
men have the buttons with them. As
he enters an office his usual salutation
Is, Buttons, buttons, any buttons of,
and on either coat. vest or trousers
every man Is pretty sure to find but
ton off or nearly ready to come of.
The genius carries his pockets full Of
buttons Of every kind and class. and he
seldom fails to match. His waxed
threads. needles and scissors are ready
at hand, and man need not miss five
minutes from his duties to DO nicely re-
paired rs far as buttons are concerned.
The shrewd button sewer Is not very
communicative. but it's q bad day when
he fails to sew on twenty buttons. In
one Office at least, where six or eight
are employed. / saw him gather 40
cents in halt hour. And girl paid
him 10 cents of that amount II he would
stitch two loose buttons on her jacket
and make them firm. ~. .CincianaG
Tribune.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
Tossing on the ''Briny"

Is very far from amusing, untraveled
reader, IL so be you are one. rebellion
fomented by each mountainous wave that
smftes the vessels hull threatens abso-
lut"ly To dislodge your very vitals
from their natural resting place, and
n nausea so frightful that It would
reconcile you to a termination Of your
sutfrrn-s by sllpwreck harissas you.
Wei! Tor yOu then, or rather before this
crisis, II you are provided with Hostei-
fer's stomach bitters, "a swift remedy for
and preventive % the nausea of trav.
tlers by sea or laad, nervous
ness caused by tho vibration of the screw
of a steamer or the jarr.ng of a railway
train, and an antidotc 10 bowel, liver aud
stomach troubles caused by impure
wafer and unaccustomod food The Bit
ters, also. c0unteracts the effects of
fatigue and exposure and is safeguard
against malaria, rheu matism and kidney
trouble.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

THIS UNDOUBTEDLY WAS ARETHUsA.
The train came in and something
got off. 1t took Nick Taylor long
time to make out that 1t was a woman
whose beauty, at low estimate. was
100 per cent below Jerry's. This un-
doubtedly was Arethusa Nick emit
ted long sigh Of relief as she started
for Jerry.
John, my own, darling Johnl"
]Whash mazzer?" asked Jerry, with
out looking up.
"My own, my love!" murmured
Arethusa, with a wild lunge at Jerry.
This was more than Jerry could
stand, even In his condition. He looked
up. Arethusa started back. Jerry's
beauty was the last straw.
you" she cried, "are you John
Smith,"
"Naw," replied Jerry, with an effort,
sg'long, Pokyhautus, an le' me lionel"
Arethusa disappeared. Jerry con-
tinued his doze and Nick Taylor went
over To THE Coloners Own" and then,
over his favorite tipple philosophically
murmured: ~Girls are queer crftters-s
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

Force toad's mouth open and hold n
In that position and he viii suffocate.
This Is because he has no ribs and no
way Of dilating his chest. therefore
must literally swallow air as though it
were food. Forcibly keeping the Great
ure's mouth open causes the air to pass
into the stomach instead OF the lung.
Another oddity is its tongue. which Is
hung in the mouth, just the reverse VI,
the human tongue. being attached at
the front Of the jaw. the loose end hang
ing back and down the throat.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
Method In His Madness.

Good Samaritan-aHow much have
you given to the poor?"
Practical Philanahropist-"Twenty.
Ave dollars, on the installment plan.'
q. S. Please explain your meaning.
friend"
p. P.-"Well,ly you see, I'm in the real
estate business and always try to get
as much out of my money as possible
So on twenty-five different occasions,
since last October. I've given 81 to some
charitable enterprise, my name being
invariably given as job Lotz, the real.
estate dealer In that way get into
the papers and get my moneys worth.
You see, there's method in my charity
buffalo Courier
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
Too Much Education.

Education" said Uncle Josh, "is @.
mighty good thing, but sometimes ID
does more harm than good"
There's no doubt Of that"
Il oncet knowed of a case where edu-
cation come purity nigh drowndin' .
rale nice young lady" he went on.
~How was thatP"
@Why. she fell into the water an be-
in too high toned to holler help she
yelled out assistance An ther blamed
fool hired hand tibet heard her lost about
tive minutes maxim up is mind whether
ter pull her out er go home fur a die
tionary. Detroit Free Press.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
A Key That Weighs seven Pounds.

An old and curious key and lock d
attached 10 the door Of Temple Church,
in Fleet street. London. The key
weighs seven pounds, is eighteen lnches
;6ng. and. unlike other keys; il was not
uade for the lock. On tho contrary the
'ck was made for il. Both key and lock
are been Ia use since the crusalcs, tho
urch itself having bcen built by thf
-nights Templars - Harduare
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
Things Are Looking Better.

Yes. every day shows ch cering signs
Improvement in every branch of business
II you are out ot employment, or nave
spare tim" occasionally, write withou, de-
Iay To Il +, Johnson * Co. Richmond, Va. ,
who can make suggestion that will be
worth your consideration.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

fhe s-11ject OF the above portrait Is the
Rev. Charles Prose-, a much beloved and
most deyout minister OF tho gospel of Car
mel, Northumberland Co, Pa. Mr.. Prosser's
usefulness. was, for q long time, greatly i'm
paired by distressing, Obstinate disease
How his lnalady was finally. conquered we
will let him tell in his owa language. Ho
says: f: ''I was great sufferer from dyspep-
sia, aud ! had suffered 50 long that | was
O wTec.: lie was rendered undesirable ard
IL seemed death was near but | came IN
contact with DR.. PieTce's Golden Medical
Discovery and lis Pleasant Pellets took
twelve bottles Of Discovery, and several
bottles Of the Pellets AMI followed tho
hycenic advice OF Or. Pierce, and / eTa
haupy 20 say il was indeed cure, for LIE Is
worth LIVING now"
For dyspepsia, or Indigestion, oliver COM
paint" or torpid liver, bill2lsness, constiDa-
ton. chronic dlarrhga LAi al arrangements
OF the liver. stomach ard bowels, Doctor
Pierce Golden Medical Discovery effects
perfect cures when all other medicines fail.
Il has n specific tonic effect upon tho lining
membranes OF the stomach and bowels. As
an invigorating, restorative tonic il gives
strength To the wEUis system and builds up
solid flesh 20 tho healthy standard, when re-
duced by wasting diseases. "
Mr.. j. +. Hudson, prominent lawyer Of
Whitcherville Sebastian Co, Ark, writes
"Haying suffered severely. for long time,
from q torpid liver, Indigestion, constipa-
ton, nervousness and neral debility, and
finding no relief in my efforts 70 regain my
health, / vas induced 10 try DR.. Pierces
Golden Medical Discovery and Pleasant
Pelletg.' Under this treatment, | improved
very much and in a few months was able 20
attend TO my professional duties"
Nr.l.c trui-
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

Walter Besant is hunting for an old
book entitled "The Shoemaker of
Jerusalem" which was published in
Darlington. England. in 1897. He Is
anxious to obtain a copy of IL for the
reason that il contains an account of a
visit of the Wandering jew to the town
of Hull in 1863.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

The United States war department
will probably act In this matter rs soon
as satisfied with its inertia. Germany,
England, Austria and France have signi.
fed their intention Of introducing this
new ambulance In their armies, so II ID
safe TO say Il will have . bright future
provided something better does not
turn up In the meantime. America, al,
ways progressive, will perhaps como ID
the front with something even snperior
N thia
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

sIs It because you love me, Miss Cbu.
pom. that you consent to marry mee"
@Oh. dear, no. I'm miserable ,snough
with my money affaiB without any love
matters 10 bring complications. Il u
because you are the only man with
whom am certain could never fall r.
love. .s-llsssic assai Qr0pa.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
The Greatest Medical Discovery
of the Age.
KEMNEDY'S
MEDICAL DISCOVERY.
DONALD KENNEDY, OF aoYS%',y MSS,

sv"SLo hhnnhuiB VI nUApuilfY><rS',
Has discovered In one of our COMMON
pasture weeds remedy that cures ey.ry
kind OF Humor, from the worst ScrJfula
down to common Pimple. i.
he has tried 1t in over eley>h hundred
cases, aiff rntS7 fdfIca ~~a~spl In two cases
(both thunder humor). he has now in his
possession over two hundred certificates
of its value, all within twenty miles Of
Boston. Send postal card for book.
A benefit Is always experienced from
the first bottle, and perfect cure Is war.
ranted when the right quantity Is taken.
When the lungs are affected 1t causes
shooting pains, like needles passing
through them; the same with the Liver or
Bowels. This is caused by the ducts being
stopped, and always disappears in week
after taking it. Read the label.
If the stomach Is foul or bilious II will
cause squeamsh feelings at first.
No change of diet ever necessary. Eat
the best you can get, and enough of ii.
Dose, one tablespoonful in water at bed.
time. Sold by all Druggists.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

Ecstatic Young Man Ito dark bro,
nette)-How / could love you, Miss
Fanny--if-. May ! confess to your
Brunette (blushing) What is itp
Ecstatio Young Mani could love
you. Miss Fanny. with all my heart Il
you only had blue eyes and blonde
hair. - 1t1as Sv1smga.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

,. p. AnnKe, Prussian commissioner
Of railroad methods. il reported q say.
ing that while Germany surpssses thil
country in the construction Of trackS
% inds American car equipment ~
peEiay..
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

Among those VINO telegraphed con-
gratulations 10 Mr.. Walsh on his ap-
pointnent as q senator from Georgia
was New York man who chanced 10
share Mr.. Walsh's um brella for few
minutes some years ago.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

"A late theory of catching cold is that
when one enters a cold room after being
heated the bacteria in the room flock to
the warn, body aud enter il through open
pores of the sktu
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

Shiloh's Consumption Cure is sold on a
guarantee. 1t cures Incipient Consum y
tion 1t is the best Cough Cure IS cents,
81 cents ard Sl.0O.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

A composition for hardening steel.
named "Dnrol," has been tried for two
years by such firms aS Krupp, Names,
Manns and others in Germany and is said
To give entire satisfaction.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

The melody of music Is divine. but ID is
40 more enchanting than "A young girls
face made supremely beautiful by the use
of Glenns sulphur SOAP.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

To enjoy warm spring sit ON a hot
namron placed on u chair by your VITA
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

The celebrated Apples OF Sodom"
which grow on the shores of the Dead
Sea are species of fungi similar to our
'pun balls.N
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

HALLS CATARRH CURE is liquid
and is taken internally, and acts directly
upon the blood aud mucus surfaces of the
system. Send for testimonials, free. Sold
by drug9ists. T5c.
y. J. CHENEY s. co, Props, Toledo, o.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
F.E NA e.4-~

To purify, enrich and vitalize the blood,
and thereby invigorste the liver and diges-
tive organs, brace up the nerves, and put
the system in order generally (, also 70 build
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19

AT year old the infant alligator Ia I3
inches long. He is IL before he doubles
that length. and he does not attain his
maximum development till tho age Of so.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-05-19
CLUMSY CONTINENTAL DANCERS

THE END.
Zgoda = Unity. [volume] (Milwaukee, Wis.) 1881-1901, 1894-05-09
zdrOwia!
Kawa .zdrowia!

KtO chce dfugo zyc, zawsze
xdrOwym bye, ten MECH pie W miei zoe
Ewyozajnej kawy, KS. Sch. Kneippa Kawe
zdrO VIA Kazdsmu z pewnoscia wiado-
mo jak wysokie ssjmuje s~tanoNi,ko ma polu
wodolecznictwa. KS Sch. Kneipp, swiadcTy
najlepiej to, re roc7nie przejekdka do niego
okofo 80 tysiecy pacyentow zs wszystkich
czesci swiata, nairozmait-zej n~srodowosci,
opuszczonych przez nsjsiynniejsrych leka-
rzy. tam pomoc z~uajdula. Mafo komu Una
nem,jest, jake zie skutki wywoluje kawa
xiarnkowa ch"oby nsjdrozs "a ma orgonizm
ludxki. Najlepszem dowodem tego Jest, ke
z ~z!arnkowej kawy w~ydobywa sic jedno z
mai Acknowledgment trucizn TAX zwana .,Coffeia"
z ktorej juz maia porcya wystarczy najmoc-
W. Zdro VIA fas zawiera - sobie xdro-
via najprzychylnIejsIe substancye jake to
jest nadzwycEaj potywna, zdrowotna / ma
mify l przyjemny smak. S~zczegolnie pole
csnia godpa Jest ola siabyoh, nerwowych
cierpiacych ma boil gfowy, zoiadka, dzieci,
mstek ka miacych it'd. it'd. A tatem z kaz-
dem domu powtnns bye uzywana, komu O
swe | swei rodzipy zdrowie chodEi. zadajcie
W grocerniach tylko Kaw zdrO ia a
kazdy grosernik wan z checia sprowadzi.
i funt KS. Knoipps KAwy zdrowfn
k6szu,pje 2s c,
PREY odbierze 20 funt6w kos.tuje funt. 20 c,
NadarIa tn sic dobra sposobnosc dla gro.
cernik6w i agent6w, ktorEy PREY mafem sta
Ianiu, moga sobie W kro kim czssie wyrobic
dobre ~stanowisko, takowym daje st6svwny
rabat
Oprocz tego mann zawsze ma skiadxie Ziofa
KS. Sch. Kneippa ma wszelkie cier ienia.
Nadeslij so C opiss Twoja chorobe, a natych-
mast dostanieszn ~iezawodny stosowny srodek
m Tive cierpienia. A. Waszkie wtcz.
liz Willow St. Bloomf iii, N. j.