The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1894-03-15

T0 vi. IINlrAHHs!S
aich marnin' to eco that aich child
brought two TURKS to kape tn fro n
burnin' an do 20 moind how mo own
Tim, that's yersiIf, Misther O'Flaherty,
chated him by iitchin' wan turf, bekaso
20 cud'nt Afford two, an brakin' it in
two shares an pasain' it of on him fur
two turfs?
"Mussah, an ii he be TIL same Viii
shon, it's mosilf do DO thinkiu' that he
mustn't 'av bin afthcr takin' his LESSONS
in polytiCkle ecanamy from his pupil,
Tin O'Flaherty; fur who tn divil ilso
wud 'av tn jaynyez to make half pay
buy 4 hLGd-me.down tin dollar overcoat
of wan NV thin Shayneys in Baxther
sthrAte fur ioive dollars?
"Mussah. but its the crate loight no
do DO atther seein' since he left tn ould
sod, 20 it is. Ye reminder phwin no
wouldn't taych tn jografy in school
bekRsc it said that tn wur-ruld wor
round, and turned on its axil-trees
wonst in twenty-iour hours, which he
acquitted VOL agin tn taychin' av' the
Blple. He always insisthed that the
Bible tayched us that the wur-ruld wor
flat, loike n pancake, an that phwin We
wint to tn wan edge ye'd fall aft it;
but, wild all his %larnin', he cudn't tell
where tn divil yo'd fall. So this as
be the same Bill Wilshon, We be tel!in'
me.
"Arrah, but it wur tn ioine thing he
TUX to tn larnin' an bekome SIGH Il
puriessor as to be able to make n work
in nan behave that foiity cints will
buy as much as wan dollar, or that foil.
W cints will pay M n much dibts as
wan dollar. To my way av luckin' at
the skamc it wud be much asier to con.
vinsh 4 rich man ,hnt it wud be chapcr
fur him to git wan dollars wu5th nv
wurruCk for foifty ~cints; an its 4 crate
wondther TO me that Misther Wilshon
didn't do loikc his riv!rince, tn bishop.
an take tn asiast Job?
"Mussah, but it's tn grathe man
Misther Wilshoa as bckome, shure, if
must kape repeatiu' his praises, 10 DO
be afthcr abolishin' labor at wan
sthroke. There's not bin tn loikes nv
him since tn day that tn FREQ air an
its gintil zctters waithed tn for
hidden fruit at TIL three av
knowledge into tn mouths nv
Adam an Ave; an tn loight av hivin
enabled thin to discover they had no
clos on thin. Az coorse, in these days
tn pcrlicn wudn't parmit min and vim
min to dhreas, or rayther not dhress,
loike Adam an Ave; an this do re-
moind mo that Misther Wilshon 'av
omitted to make purvishin fur clos an
4 few other na%cassarys that TIL wages
nv labor purvided. Av coorse VIC all
know that crate moinds aften ovorluck
shmaIl daytails. but, If Misther vii.
shon wud parmit his ould irind's wife,
Mis,hress O'Flaherty, to mako n sug.
gis.yun, it moight he the names av sup
piyin' tn ommishion. My SHAME
Is -
"Hould yer whist" Judy, com.
handed O'Flaherty, "he's not TIL
Wilshon We manc at all, at all, but
anither purfessor ay tn same name,
an he 'av reduced tn duty on potay.
tays. Now phwat do 80 think nv
that?"
as it praties G mane?" She dc,
manded, and continued: "But its tn
CRATE airs We do be afther putin on,
Misther O~'Flaherty. so it is, wild yer
pataytays; a apin' tn manners nv
thin lnglish dudes yer bin afthe,
meotin' wild nj tn. Huffman House
lsaiay. Phwino ye wor on tn ovid sod
plain praties, spuds or Murfays VOL
good enough names fur thin, Misther
O'Fluherty, an it wor tn foine day fur
ye phwin yo had thin TO ate. and thin
on tn free lisht, IL: that. Shure thore
wuz 10 ,hrouble about their freedom
at all, at all; TIL throuble wor to 81,
tn money to buy thin wild.
"Now, whin there is twinty.foiye
cints u bnshel duty on thin, ye think
nawthin' nv havin' thin cooked by thin
Frinchmin Mt tn Hoffman House kaiay,
an sarvod up wild thin Frinch names
to thin, SUCH as a Ia S0oidy an !SGra.ogGy
ChipS, a Ia Pare, Mt toiity cints q plate,
not to DO talkin' about tn expinse ay
buyin' out u dhrug sthore to cure ye nv
THIN fashionable disayaes ye CONTRACT
cd by atm Thin same. But the divil q
dhrus did We 'av TO buy phwin ye
roashted thin wild yer own two hands
in tn bog ashes on tn ould sod, an ate
thin wild salt fur a ralish. sarved up on
a three legged sh,ool; iur divil
til table yo had to ate Thin all; au'
that's us thrue as tn saints in hiviu,
Mls,her O'FlNherty, an timber OIL the
free lisht, ut that.
"Mosht livery thing wor FREQ there
but yer ballot an money; an tina.
money wor not 4 burden to yc, there's
nobody knows better thnn Tim
O'Flaherty, fur didn't in take tn cam.
bined capital nv our relations TO pay
yer passage to Amiraky, an didn't yer
own Judy, that's me, ave TO depend iur
\ Twin on the boord nv poorlund
guardians till We irnad III money to
sind fur me?
"Now since 20 got rich naw,hin' will
do 20 but clos made in IngIaud that
don't fit yc any betther than tn cloa
on wan nv thin tlaythan Chinays down
in Pcll sthralc. An the airs ye do be
putin on sit,in' up loike q lord in yer
dhrawin' room. all dhrcssed up wild yer
rid morrokay slippers, yer smotin' cap
an yer velvet mornin' gown, fur all tho
Wur,rpll lniEo ,v,p az thin hnvthuu