Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-03-08
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to-
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

a MA is ike kdS-Jct. uc more
he blows the less light he gives out.
Boston Transcript.
IN an autograph book: "Be con-
sistent. Never accept advice. Not
even this. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
"How DO you manage to live in
this dead town." Fine; I'm the I'M
dertaker. Atlanta Constitution.
SPEAK gently to the erring or you
won't get an invitation to the killing
of the fatted alf.-Elmira Gazette.
ToM-How old is your sister Mabel?
Ned-Her count, do you mean. or
our family Bible record? -Somerville
Journal.
GENERALLY the more aimless a
boy is, the better he likes to run
around with shotgun. --Binghamton
Republican.
ARTIST" Madam, it is not faces
alone that paint; it is souls" Mad
am-"Oh, you do interiors then?"-
New York Sun.
SHE-Before we were married you
used to call me an angel. He-And
now I wish you were one. Isn't that,
just as well?-Truth.
ONE reason why it is often difficult
to find ru laway team is that the
horse usually takes the traces with
him. Lowell Courier.
GAYsON-"She answered me rather
shortly when I asked her to be mine.
Townson-"Indeed! Howl" Gayson
oCI.o co;l lx,ac Trnfb
LANDLADY-You haven't touched
your coffee, Mr.. Jones. Anythin 6
unusual the matter with it? Mr..
Jones-Well, yes; it's hot.-Truth.
AUNT-"Child, you certainly don't
call yourself dressed with your shout
ders all bare like that?" Meteor
course not, auntie Gowned. =
Puck.
FoGe-Come, Figg, have smoke.
Figg-Ill die first. Fogg-Oh, well,
every man to his liking. I'll do my
smoking before die. Boston Tran
script.
MRS. RUssELL-"Oh, Edward, you
should say palm, not PAM" Mr..
Russell-"Well that being the case
will you please pass me the halm?"-
Truth.
money talks" remarked the BUSH
ness man who was ruefully cOntem-
plating lot of idle capital; "but it
doesn't talk in it's sleep. "-Washing-
ton Star.
"HARDUPPY tells me he never de-
stroys a receipted bill" mo; he's
more likely to have them framed and
hung up in his parlor as curiosities. }"
It'd. Bits. I
JACK-"I have confession to make,
and you shall be my priest. IL love
you" Jess-"1 forgive you freely:
but-but priests don't marry, you
know."-Puck.
BoY-Pa, the minister said to-day
we'd all have to be born again.
Father of eight-That means anoth-
er fortune for drinks and cigars, ]
suppose, Puck.
odd you know Mrs. Plentirocks
has stained glass all through her new
house?" "No; but what pity! Can
she get anything to take it out?"
Rochester Democrat.
"How DO you know she is plain
looking? You haven't seen her." Il
wrote to her in praise OF her intel
lectuality, and she didn't get miffed. y
Boston Transcript
THERE is much mystification in,
London over the expedition against
the Sofas, and the indications are.
that somebody's been lying on them,
Philadelphia Ledger.
MRS. J.-Are there any good dry
goods advertisements in the paper
this morning? Mr.. ideally, /
don't know / usually read the other
part. --Someryille Journal.
PAT-"Phat is the Metropolitan
Opera House hear so much about?"
Dennis-"It must be storage ware
house-for all them big millionaires
have their boxes up there. Truth.
81 SUPPOSE you have been shopping
all day again." said Mr.. Snaggs to his
wife at the supper table. "And I
suppose you have been bucket-sbop-
ping again, retorted she. -Pittsburg
Chronicle.
NJ RS. hUSHEh-II DIS MI. UOlUCUIu.
with whom you have been dancing
all the evening, at last declared his
intentions, Mabel? Mabel - Yes,
aunt. Mrs. Rusher-I am so glad.
And what did he say? Mabel-He
declared he would never marry
Vogue.
Mr.. BINKs (after an absence)-
And so you shot a burglar while here
and unprotected. You are a brave
little woman. What became Of him?
Mrs. Binks-The other burglar car
ried him off. Mr.. Which.
other burglar? Mrs. Binks - The.