The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1894-05-25

No, no. professor, 1 beg of you,
don't" cried Mrs. Strippier.
"A thousand pardons." rejoined the
professor, apologetically. Il was so
engrossed in the scientific portions of
my studies that | forgot for the mo-
ment- But, to go ahead, molecules,
you know, are the smallest portions of
any body or fluid known to science
When | have the water charged with
every oath the patient utters | distiI it
aId inject the liquor into the system
1t acts like Il drug and produces a cure.
Even if he wants to swear he cannot
Here is Passamenti, my pet cat 1t was
through it | discovered this cure, which.
| think, will be a great boon to suffer
3 ing humanity.
Il inoculated Passamenti against
smallpox some time ago. The virus
became charged with the sound. To
my astonishment week later found
that my cat could not yell at all; in
fact, it cannot make any noise what
ever. / will show you
Here the professor held the cat up by
the tail high in the air. Not n sound
came from the animal. lie then
pinched his back, hut the cat only
WINGED; there was no noise.
Mrs Stripplcr looked amazed Prof
TaIliferioni's face in turn beamcd with
satisfaction. IF you Will consent |
viii show you some of my patients at
the same time opening the door which
led to "A large and coy room This Is
Mr.. Selfish, pointing To man sitting
at a writingdesll and addressing him:
Il hope am not disturbing you?'
No, no; not at all. replied Mr. Sell
fish i just re ceived a letter from my
wife requesting me to send her some
money. | have made out check for
three times the amount she asks. and
was just getting it ready for the mail
Prof. Talliferioni took Mrs Stripplcr
aside and whispered: I'll his man
could swear more than any man | ever
heard. He swore at everything and
anybody. But his malady became
worse when his wife asked him for
money to defray household expenses.
If she wanted To buy new hat or
dress he simply became uncontrolla-
bic. His oaths would shake the fur
niture in the house. lie has been here
three days only and you can see for
yourself the effect of my treatment
Ills wife wrote him for money the first
day he was here and you should have
heard him. | caught his expressions
on the phonograph and injected them
into his system. See how it works?
This is Mr.. Crossbar lie brought
his business troubles to his wife every
evening and put in the night in swear
ing because a deal which he had fig-
ured on had fallen through a little
while ago | told him his partner had
defaulted with half his fortune and he
only smiled.
That gentleman over there with the
child on his knee is MIR Payne. The
little babe is his hrte-monthS-oId son
Ills wife told me when the baby cried
nights her husband sworc so hard it
drove her into mysteries. The first day
!le came here hIs language shocked
even Mr.. Selfish. Now he is as dociIe
a. Il lamb and leaves here tomorrow
perfectly cured. Among the other peo-
pie whom | have treated Is a subscriber
of a telephone company sent here at
the company's expense because he
swore at the CIR Is whenever they did
not answer promptly; an editor, who
had the habit of referring to his re-
porterS, copy as that -- rot; 4 preacher.
who sworc in subdued tones because his
congregation did not pay his salary
when it was due; and -
But Mrs Strippler seemed to be sat
isfied.
What are your charges for the treat
ment?" she asked
Five hundred dollars" replied the
professor.
Mrs Strippler left the sanitarium
and resolved IN going home u tell her
husband of the wonderful cures Prof
Talliferioni had accomplished. Her
husband agreed To pay her one dollar
each time he sworG. The money was
to bc saved by her and when five hun
dred dollars was collected William was
to put himself under the professors
care. The first month after his wiic's
visit he had paid her seventy dollars.
The second only ten dollars and for
four months after that she had not re-
ceivcd more than six dollars At pres
cnt ii seems as if she will never have
enough money saved to pay for the
treatment However, she is satisfied,
and says she does not care If William
does not go to Talliferioni. for he has
almost stopped swearing now.-Chica-
go Tribune