davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21
A Fitting Rsply.

The fact that Paterson, y. j., has suf-
fereI with special intensity from the
Democratic hard times gives grim point
to the recent experience Of a principal Of
one Of the public schools there. II e
was examining the class Of one Of his
subOriiEates on United States history
and government, and asked
~Who is President Of the United
States p
Cleveland was the prompt reply.
"What does he do?' continued the
principal.
Makes the laws said one.
aNo said the principal and up went
the hand eta seven year old boy, Who
knew better and had solved the problem
satisfactorily ia his own mind.
makes hard times" vas mis- answer.
And the principal could not in truth aud
justice tell him be had not replied cor
tctly.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21
He Whipped The Boy.

The youth Of Morocco are aaythir
but respectful in their dsmeanor toward
strangers and are taught By their parents
20 reviie Christians at every opportunity.
Generally they 90 uapunished, though
not alxAys, as the % loving will show.
Mr.. Macleod, the British Vice-CJnsul,
is pretty we'll known in Frz now, ard
does not come il FOR 50 many curses and
insults IS he used TO, bat s1me little time
ago, as he was going along the s.rte;
boy shouted after him some reyiliug
e2ithet. Mr.. Macleod f5rthsitt gave
the boy some taps with ssitch which
scarcely disturbed the dast on his jslab,
accompanying Them wi,h some paternal
advice as 10 p0iiieness to strangers.
Sext DAY Mr.. NacLsod was summoned
before the BJsaa, AMI a long written
statement vas produced, ia which al
though there vas NJ one near at the
time txenty witnesses sF5re that tie
boy hai beea stib5ei,
The Bssha asked Mr. Mcleod If this
were true
No; il IS not true
"D.d yo1 strike the boy2'
20, YES. I whipped The boy
What would happen in your country
in such a case?7
n my country Isloald have hanisd
the boy % policeman. Bat yoa have
no pol.cs.
eBa, you adni, having whipped the
boy"
lido, Aud Ian willing to pay for
IT,"
The father ofthe boy stool up and ga 4
he thought Mr. Macleod ought to pay
$50
Some Moorish merchants who occupied
seats or the B asha's divan Of lstice, said
ihat was too mech. i dollar sas enough.
The Basha decided OF 81, which
amount Mr. Macleod extracted from bis
vest poczs: and paced On saa zrouId.
There IS the dollar" said he. The
father ofthe boy advanced With alacriiy
10 pick up the coin.
"Stay q moment sail Mr. NaeLeod.
''You have adj lJzei 81 % this man, D
Blshs, and So tssrs il i. have AL
mittel the oG.ass sad settled IL. and
have answered your q1sstiaEa a. 70 the
law ofmy coaniry. Bat, tell me, what is
TIE Law in your e5a1,ry if the son Of one
Of your people insults a stranger in The
street,"
"rhe flthsr Of the by Is -ss p1as ble,"
said the Blsha. AMI the fsiher should be
h3gged.7
VERY well. I have setiisd the claim
against me, plyinS h.s claim. Now
want my case against him ssttied de-
mand that he BE- hogged"
The Blsha an The bench" decided
that it must be 50. The man could take
the dollar, but must be hoggsd if he did.
The father Of tbs BOY retired swiftly,
with curses, not loud bat deep. Mr..
Macleod picked up his dollar and every
body put on a smile.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21
Could Not TAX a Litue Bit.


The toughest experience ever bad
in my life, ssii solicitor Of life insur-
ance, "was sith an iron manufacturer in
Troy.
Il had been informed that he was a
hard customer, bat wealthy MN aud
one who hal earslessly neglected to pro-
vide himself with iasgfaac,. 81 81 re-
solved to tackle him.
"Up5a entering bis Oilise and explain
ins the nature OF my business I was sur
priss1 az his greeting It was friendly,
even cordial. Lie insurance, said he.
swell, nov, thai subject tina; interests
me. Come with me to the shop Pye
got to 90 there, and you can tell na all
about the superiority Of your company
over all others
Then he tolk up his hat an1 bate me
follow him. As We went out Of the office
noticed a smile on the fares Of all the
clerks, and thonght possibly they knes
my errand aud were congratulliing M
on my success.
''The proprietor walked hurriedly, and
after him, until at last ne dung open a
door. It was the machine shop The
din was terrible. A thousand hammers,
thilS, were all At work beating iron at
once. Involun'arily / put NY hands to
my ears
Looking al NJ nan, / saw his lips
move, and lowering my hands Just nan
aged to cI;ch his words, shouted above
the deafsaing rieket. 'NoE, tell me al
abou. itp
"Hesmiled slrdeniclliy as he said this.
and could have murdered him. Il was
impossible 10 say word, and 80 | went
right ont. It wasa darn mean trick
Ne.r York Herald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21
Four Bits and No Kiss.

TIE following account Of i ceremony
which was performed in Tucker county,
West Virginia, is worth relating and will
serve to show how solemn an affair the
question of matrimony is considered to
be in the infant protOge Of the Old Do
minion:
do you take this woman. whose hand
you're a-squezzin', to be your lawful wife
in flush times and skim ?"
Il recon that's about the size Of it
squire"
"Do you take this man you We jined
fists with to be your pard through thick
and thiul"
well, you're about right for once Old
uen.S
"All right, then. Kiss in court, an l
reckon you're married about as tight As
the law can jine you. l guess four bits
will do, Bill, if don have to kiss the
bride - Washington Nssgs-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21
AGsnuinslmported Dog.

A bow-legged man towing q NANCY
dog by rusty chain, wandered up Con-
necticui street the other day.
a spruce looking man came walking
down the street. The two met at the
corner Of West avenue, and the bow
legged man said to the spruce looking
man:
"Wanter buy a dawg?"
"No," replied thesprdes boxing man,
Il don't"
The bow-legged man stopped and look
ed commiserAtingly at the other man.
'You don't know a god thing when
you see it."
"Do you coll that dog good thing? ?"
said the spruce looking man.
"Sure," replied the other.
"What's it worth?7
Cant sell i'm a cent less than SO"
The spFuee looking man laughed de-
risively. why" he slii, that dog is
worth Just about I5 cents"
The bow w-legged man gave a tug On
the chain. "Come on Flip" he said.
Here's a man who don't know 4 daWg
from elothes-wri Don't less have
any truck with him.
They started to move along, when tie
spruoe-looking man said
Hold on minute. l would Ike TO
know Why yOu value that dog 50 high
ly?'
"What good would it Do me TO tell
you ?7 TEere WAS q word Of contempt
in the uiterance Of the bow-legged man.
"Why, l might DO some business with
you."
"Well. sir, that davg's imported. \
reg'lar imported tawg."
Imported, en- %
"Yis sir he's imported, and I kin git
witnesses 10 prove IT,"
Il DONE believe it,
The boB legged man waxsd earnest.
"You just come along with me an III
prove it to you" he said.
The two walked up the street togtth-
er. They came 10 : barber shop. You
come in here" said the bow legged man.
They went in, and the owner Of the
dog said
Here, boys, here's a dsck what don't
think my daWgs imported. Amt he,
Billy?'
Billy sEore that he was.
"Ain't he, Jack %
Jack took his solemn oath that ne v as.
"Ain't be, Mike?'
Mike crossed his heart that be was.
"There," said the bow-legged man,
that there is proof enough, "ain't it?7
The spruce looking man thOCght
awhile. 'Ill give you s. for him. he
said.
The do, : owner was insulted. There
was good bit Of haggling, and then
the matter was compromised by cash
offer q s. 80, which was accepted.
The dog and money changed owners.
The spruce looking man examined his
prize carefully Looks Ike a pretty
good dog at that" be remarked. "He
came from England, suppose 27
Mop said the box legge man.
France, them
"Nop'
Cant be possible he is German dog,
can it?'
The bow legged man edged toward the
door. Il don't think il can he said.
"Fact is, biung him over from Fort
Erie this morning. r-B,gaiO ErDrsss.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21

"Eqnal shares. snG yOa your extras.
"Very we'll. Here are six dollars. !
took out Of the money just what my
steer and the chickens would have
amounted TO, and had this over"
NO, keep II" be answered generous
ly-"but say, what did the colt bring,
Jen p
All, but that's secret" and she
laughed gaily. "Ask his owner
Don't, Jen-don't be 50 ofish-yOu
don't seem Ike my little old janet, Al
all" and he pulled her to him.
"Fm nor. I'm Mrs Janet Mayle-,
partner and equal sharer in the firm of
Mayler &" aud his big palm stopped
further speech.
But he took it away to kiss the lips
that had once been 50 hardly won, and
then 10 toss little astonished Mayier, Jr,
Up and up, to come down safely again
upon papa's shoulder, for a dizzy ride
around the sitting room
After supper, while Jen wal busy
washing dishes. Jed was in the sitting
room rocking baby to sleep.
He never could sing but just the first
strains of Sweet By-and-By," but he
would 20 over these With untiring zest,
never even halting long enough to let
his voice fall, until sometimes, out Of
very agony, Janet would plant her foot
where she knew the period belonged,
But to night she listened with sweet con
tent.
She knew he was won completely, for
ne never attempted his one song unless
very peaceful with all the world. And
as she thought over her little attacks
and skirmishes she felt well repaid, and
from her heart went up a prayer for
strength to be g woman-fearles and
independent whereright vas concerned.
and a mother worthy Of such dear lit
tie boy.-FUA, F5eld aad Firesids.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21

IS AGAIN READY FOR BUSINESS.

Stock taking noa over, we have got
down TO business sgain. Oar stock has
had a general overhsuling, and in many
instances goods are marked down to Half
Price to convert them into cash and
make room for Spring Goods, of which
We have inside some heavy purchases,
which shall arrive in due time.
4 lot more Dress Goods have been laid
out on cur FORTY CENT COUNTER, as
We wish to open ont our Spring Business
with sn entire New stock. Lots Of other
Dress Goods down to lOc, l2c, and l5e.
A LOT ofdollar goods marked down 10 roc.
Ladies all-wool Heavy Hosiery, in
black only, reduced fIom 35c, to &c.
These make good hose for boys wear.
Ifyou are IN any way interested in
Children's. Misses, or Ladies' Coats,
come and see what we are doingon them.
Prices have been knocked out Of sight.
We have plenty Of Gingham, Print
Muslin, Table Linen, Toweling and Tow
e,s, at Popular Low Prices.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21

Dentist 10 waiting cus.Omsrs) Now
then, gentlemen, who is next2
Waiting Customers ito each other -
You are next, sir.
The scenes changes
Barber TO customeTsi-Nextl
Waiting Customers ,all at once)-Im
rext.-LOad0a Ta-Bifs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21

A Scotchman. who is evidently as pa
tient as be Is ingenious, has trained two
little mice to spin thread With an ap-
paratrs Of which he is the inventor
The mechanical principle Of the con-
tEiyanes is a small mill, which isoperssed
By the paws Of the mice. They can
each wind on and of per day from 100
10 l2O pieces OK thread.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21

she ION the beach ~ was afraid yOn
were going to kiss me then, yOa pursed
your lips up So"
He-'Oh, no l wouldn't dare DO that.
l merely had some sand ia my mouth"
She ldisgusiedly )-Dont take il cut.
II may get into your system"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21
z5e somerset Herald.
rs1tsussEO 'saT
of Publication.

,,.,-7,s Of Publication
- svsry WEDNESDAY morning al q %
,,psia in sdvsaos. Otherwise g %
l-ssristiy be eha-Eel'
y -. viii be discontinued until al
y - ,,id Up. PossnGsisr neglecting
''- - ]. rben subscribers DO nO' take out
-. .1I y he'd responsible soi tAe soo-
,e- removing f'OR one POssOfaes to
..-,s 1--WE Is the name OF the former
- ,ss present. Osos- address
TEE sozkEsEr HEEALD.
SoMERsEr, Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-02-21

Fifteen Dollars has a power to
draw, if correctly invested, which
beats a lottery. For Fifteen Dol
lars you can draw a nice Chamber
Suite-no blank tickets. Every
Fifteen Dollars deposited gets one
Suite SURE. It's like getting dol
lar for dollar.
You have seen or heard Of our
s16 Suite. What you saw or heard
Of in that Suite you can fnd in this
and more, you save a dollar too,
which is an item to most of US.
One thing sure, ifyou buy one of
these SIS Suites you get a reliable
article from reliable firm. The
Suite viii @stand by" you and we
. stand by" the Suite.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09
COLUMBIAN MEDALS
Not ISSUED Yet Because the Design Still
Hangs Fire.
ENCOURAGEMENT TO THE FARMER
The President of the Canadian Pacific
Predicts Two Dollars Bushel
for Wheat.
oolumbian Medals Not Issued.

WASHINGTON, April John Boyd
Thatcher, chairman of the worlds fair
committee of awards, wants the worlds
fair medals issued at once. He is not so
particular about the design as are the
members of the senate committee.
Neither does he share the views of Sec
retary Carlisle as to the artistic short
comings of the design submitted by St.
Gaudens. A ribbon or fig leaf on the
modified figure doesn't make any differ
ence to Mr.. Thatcher, and he wants the
medals completed at once. He and Rep
resentative Strauss, of New York, called
upon Secretary Carlisle today, and urged
him to push the work on the medals to
an early completion. Mr.. Carlisle ex-
planned that the original design l;l'l been
rejected, and that the amended design
recently submitted was little better. He
explained further that Artist st. Gaudens
had been requested to make further
changes, and that until these were made
to the satisfaction of the director of the
mint and the art critics, who constitute
the senate committee on quadro-cen-
tennial, the medals could not be used
The diverse side of the medal has been
finished and is waiting for completion o.
the disputed reverse side. AS soon as
the controversy is settled and st. Gaud
ems submits design that is thoroughly
acceptable, the department will proceed
with the work. In the meantime Johl
Boyd Thatcher will have to contain him
Golf in y1otience and an will Mr. Straus
and others interested in the matter.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09
Some oueer PoIsons in Tobaeco.

Chemists say Turkish tobacco con-
tains prussic acid and Cuban tobacco
has another alkaloid called collidine,
one-twentieth of drop of which will
kill frog, giving the creature all the
symptoms of paralysis. Experiments
have proven that three drops of the
liquor that accumulates in the bowl of
the pipe will kill rabbit in nine min
utes. A drop of pure nicotine inserted
near the conjunctiva of any small an
ima1 will kill it almost instantly; eight
drops will kill a horse, giving him
frightfpl convulsions. If one drop OF
the stuff would give man convulsions
one day it would take two the next
four on the third, etc, which shows
how readily the system adapts itself
to poison.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09
They objected to the Charge.

M1Dw1NTER FAIR, SAN FRANCISCO, April
IA pitched battle occurred in the
streets of Carlo, at the midwinter fair,
this afternoon. The large gates at
both entrances were besieged by howl
ing band of infuriated Assyrians, armed
with cutlasses, hatchets and beams,
with which they proceeded to batter
down the gates. The move was directed
against the gate charge of 15 cents to
the inhabitants of the streets of Carlo,
which the concessionaire maintained
against the protest of the subconcession-
aires. The latter are reported as having
sworn over crossed swords last night
that the Objectionable barrier would be
removed, hence today's charge. The
guards hurried to the scene and quiet
was soon restored.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09

their favor. Experience with weights.
as well as calculations, show that any OF
the vessels would stand on its stem with
a heavy gun placed forward. 1t would
not be possible further to install heavy
ordnance on any part of the ship, owing
to it's light construction and little deck
space. Only the fghtest rapid firing
and machine guns could be used at all,
and for this reason the board recon-
mended that the whalebacks could not
be counted upon for auxiliary cruisers
in time of war.
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09
AMUSING 1LuNDERs.
Desperate Situations of Difadent Youn'



Desperate Situations of Difadent Young
Some amusing examples of uninten-
tional transpositions are given in re-
cently-published collection of Bulls
and Blunders" Slips of the kind
usually result from nervousness rather
than from ignorance, but it is ques-
ton which was responsible in the case
of the pompous colored preacher who
told his flock that it was ''easier for a
camel to go through the knee of an
idol than for rich man to enter
Heaven
Not so in the case of the courtly and
cultivated George William Curtis, who.
it is said, was so overcome with. stage
fright when he commenced his first
lecture that instead of the reference
to the bottomless pit which he intend
ed to make, he astonished his hearers
by beginning tremulously:
Ladies and gentlemen, the pittom-
less bott-!'
The crowning specimen of ludicrous
helplessness in the face of elusive
syllables is that of the unfortunate
speaker who, at n pathetic point of his
address, when his hero was about to
undergo heartrending parting from
home and friends, uttered, IN MS mos'
melting voice:
''Biddy. diddy-"
He stopped confused; flushed, sci
his mouth and tried again. with a
difficult resumption of the interrupted
pathos
''Diddy. biddy-'
Something waswrong still. He grew
scarlet, perspired, and gasped forth ;
I'll
His hearers could none of them inter
pref it. 1t might be High German, o.
it might be Mother Goose refrain:
'.Diddy, hiddy, biddy door,
The situation was desperate; but thu
persistent orator rallied, paused unit
he had fully recovered his self-control
and trying once more, with slow utter
ance and distinct enunciation, con
| quered ut length the simple phras
which had overthrown him. He said
Ibid he bid adieu?"
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09

An odd illustration once given EN-
erson, the philosopher, of the fact that
the laws of disease are as beautiful as
the laws of health is reported in his
lecture on ''The Comic. y
ST was hastening,' he says, ''to visit
an old and honored friend, who, was
informed, was in dying condition,
when met his physician, who accosted
me in great spirits.
"sAnd how is my friend, the reverend
doctor?' / inquired.
"sOh, saw him this morning. 1t is
the most correct apoplexy I have ever
seen; face and hands livid, breathing
stertorous, all the symptoms perfect.
And he rubbed his hands with de-
light, for in the country we cannot
find every day case that agrees with
the diagnosis of the books"
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09
THE EARTH's INTERIOR.
A French Scientists New Theory on
Much-Diseussed subject.

A French Scientists New Theory on .
Much-Discussed Subject.
The question which is at present
more seriously exercising physicists
and causing the most marked divisions
of opinion among them is that of the
constitution of the earth's interior,
says an exchange. By some we are
told that within the crust is raging
liquid fire of gases; by others that the
fire is not gaseous, but merely incan-
descent solid matter, while a third sec
ton cohtends that the center of the
earth is not in molten state at all,
that what little heat still exists is
being rapidly radiated, and that ere
long the earth will be a solid rock
throughout.
The most recent contribution on the
subject is that made by NJ. Lateau to
the French academy of sciences In
his judgment the phenomena of the
earth's crust are explained by regard
ing it's interior as molten, but he as
sumes that a layer of gaseous matter
separates it from a portion of the crust
forming the continents, whereas the
sea beds sink. This theory, NJ. Lateau
thinks, explains why volcanoes have
successfully receded inland where the
sea has encroached, though it scarcely
supplies an explanation for the exist
ing marine volcanoes The gradual
escape of gases imprisoned under high
pressure will, we are told, excel in
time the production of new supplies,
and when the pressure diminishes the
continents will fall in and a more or
less crateriform confguration of the
earth's surface will be the result. This
| is the condition of the moons surface
at the present time, and NJ. Lateau be-
| lieves its appearance is due to action
similar to that which he supposes to be
in progress in the interior of this planet.
The physical essentials of this theory
assume the crust of the globe to be
eighteen and one-half miles thick, the
pressure of gases six hundred and fifty
atmospheres, their temperature nine
hundred, degrees centigrade and thei1
density nearly equal to that of water
Whatever may be thought of this view
as a reasonable explanation it has the
merit of combining, in a measure, the
two most prominent theories on The
subject
The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1894-04-09
THE PRICE OF WHEAT.
A Prediction of Two Dollars Made by
the Canadian Pacific President.

ToRoNTo, Ont, April President
Van Horn, of the Canadian Pacific rail-
road, in the course of an interview here
this afternoon on the present conditions
of the wheat crop, said that the price of
wheat will go to 81 per bushel within
the next Is months. Mr.. Van Horn,
after estimating the worlds total annual
product at between $500, 600 900 and
2,70O, ,OO0. 600 bushels, said:
''Last year farmers received but little
more than the cost of production for
their wheat, while in many instances
the return per bushel was smaller than
the expenditure. This can only have
one effect-the discouragement OF
wheat producers and the consequent de-
crease of acreage. If there is a decrease
of 10 per cent in wheat production this
year, on account of the low prices of last
year, there will be q shortage of275 ,000,'
600 bushels, and 10 per cent of decrease
is well within the mark. As far as
can remember there has never been a
surplus of 150,0O0,0OO bushels. This
year the surplus has been used up by
feeding to stock, and we will probably
start in with as nearly clean sheets az
ever before. If there is a shortage ot
but 150, ,000, 900 bushels, this will not be
discovered until too late to SOW more
wheat and wheat will go up with 6
jump"