New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-03-23

The man in shabby clothes naturally finds him.
self depressed by his surroundings :
Happy Home Now.-Mother-You say your hus-
band no longer spends .6 his sim o a. the cu0
How did you manage" ,
Before going to bed, put Two easy-ehalrs close
together by the parlor fire. and then he'd matcnl
to cigar until the room got faint odor OF
smoke "-(New-York Weekly
Misfortunes are the sort OF disguised blessings
that we feel like taking a shotgun 10 when they
knock al our door,
Very key.-Hannah-what terrible things Mr.
Nancy-I know it: but then they are awfuily'
nice.-(Boston Transcript
II Is hard to be consistent The man who makes
fun OF Louis XIV for having worn absurdiy high
heeled shoes is very likely himself TO wear SIX
hat.
hSnnd Tsq Mca his legs rose
s;ay and turned up his coat collar vou have seen
m To- snee at me- Yoa have accused Of having
a wheel IN my head II have. false beauty
is Least wn repe tda h has y r su with
penslve. faraway look In her soulful eyes. ana
We, hardly want you for hub you know!-
(Chcago Tribune
ARBUTUS.
Thou fragrant. modest little bloom.
Arising from thy lowly bed,
Why contest thou while lingering gloom
Is over all the forest spread?
Was II that winter longed for thee.
Sweet favor for his death TO crave?
Than thine no love more tendery
Could lay thy blossoms on his grave!
w. s. SNYDER.
4 Psychological Experience.-Professor-D you
ever have any psychological experiences ..,,.
Mrs. Eyegass-ladeed did-a most ren'arAa0'e
'Prophe,ic?"
II should greatly Ike to hear IT."
"One night dreamed that the SKY suadeniy osIeo
host. a trumpet sounded. the dead rose from their
graves and then voice shouted something tern-
bic Is going to happen!
well: the very next day our cook left"-(New-
York Weekly
When Pygmallon carved that statue he mad .
hard woman to please but he succeeded in soften
ing her.
plantation last year the wife Of one OF his neigh.
bors died. and Mr. jefferson called to express nis
the P eiersyman Arrived to make arranFemsns for
the Neither the man NOR his w we pr nae
traed with grief but he aroused himsei, as sns
cergyman entered rs therG any me to read at
the funera?" asked the clergyman - ,,oro,.
90, The hSSsnd sat e SPped MS reS that
Samson and the foxes he exclaimed hn ,hsm y"
guess that's about as funny as any OF them'
Nrgonaut.
oratorIcal gas. unlike other kinds, often falls
fiat instead OF ascending
Lotte Collins met with accident the other
night while dancing her "Ta-ra-ra," and her phy.
sican has forbidden her 10 dance again Tor SIX
months Unfortunately the tune Nset escapeo.-
philadelphia Ledger
gang Of counterfelters in successful operation
has been unearthed in the Atlanta Ga jail
With a Observation-Disclosures Actor-You wrote
that notice about the performance OF our company
at the Hghup Theatre last night. sir without see
ing IL. You were not there. sir. .
Dramatic Critic-That Is true. had 70 go %
three four other theatres. But didn't roast
You mentioned Albertus de Ranteur by name.
sir I am Aibertus de Ranteur." ,.
Ibid say anything uncomplimentary ABOUT
YOU Mr. de Ranteur?"
You said the audience thoroughly appreciated
my acting sir "a,
And they footed me of the stage with tin norma
sir"-(Chcago Tribune.
A scientific paper says that a sure way OF decidns
whether postage stamp has been cancelled or
not is to photograph 1t. People who are In douot
whether a one-cent stamp has been used or not VIII
be glad to know that by paying dollar or so ior
photograph OF 1t they can settle their doubt.
Steak All Right for Once-WIfe date to oresk.
fast)-Mercy! That cook has ruined this STEAK ons
end is burnt black. and the other end y raw ..
Husband (who came down earlyl, iIsn vusn.
adjust nice and brown. that's ALL The other enc
IL a little rare. but like II that way
Nonsense! I'll ring for the cook at once
Cooks Sick
II did."-(New-York Weekly