New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-04-17
THE TALK or THE DAY.

| "The Congrogationllist' tells story OF A church
which IS much given setting apart Sundays as
| speclal days" on Easter Day little girl OF the
| church went up to the pastor. and SAID MI ."
aren't we going 70 have anything in our church
| next Sunday?' "Why. yes the regular service
said the pastor Well but mean something ex-
ira" what for?' "Why, it's April Fools Day
you know" said the child
Farmer-Yes: I'll give you a meal OF vicuals
! II you'll 20 out and put in half an hours work on
Work on w9od fI hi The ISs any YIN
come SIT wAeH you DC S2ty iJ ,n, 5 army"
| Chicago Tribune
I, IS said that the Historical Society OF Pennsy-
vanil has the complete collection Of American
colonial laws in the United States 1t was made
by Charlcmagne Towers and includes the laws OF
the Danish and British West Indies.
y, False Prilc-First Popuist Leader-Ain't YOU
/ t,dn' a eooi deal Of risk in Shawn on you
second Populst Leader-I guess I'll resk it.
amt ashamed 20 let no man see the marks OF
honest toll my Jaw.-dndanapolis Journal
Nearly all the residences in Thompsonyille. Conn.
| bear fancM names. such as Doves Retreat
The Bats Den" "Cuckoos Nest" Jim Hickey
! Roos;" and Apple Blossoms one prominent man
| in the town. whose house overlooks dam. threat
ems to follow the fad by calling his place THE Dam
! site"
o,I Funnyman cat boarding house breakfast "a
bic, This chop Mrs Hashley. is quite appropriate
to THIS weather .,..
"Yes 50 very raw YOU know; ia. o., ,,.o,, with
And mink nj bo wcl' h % Mr iFsP nnym H
An How 90. Mrs. iIashlcy?" ,,-.,u. ,,,.
Unsettled. Mr.. Funnyman '-tBrowning' KING a
cos Monthly.
Fgcd ice cream has become very popular In Phi!a-
dclphia small, solid cake Of ice cream. says
| The Record" Is onyeopei in thin sheet OF pie
crust. ana then dipped in boiling lard or butter
long enough TO cook the outside covering to crisp
| Il served Immediately the ice cream * FOUND 70 De
~ soiidy frozen a. when it first prepared.
| The process OF frying is 50 quickly accomplished
and the pastry so good protector that the heat
has no chance TO reach the frozen cream. Another
novelty IS baked Ice cream. which has meringue
top.
How about this new French teacher? Does she
take YOU along re- rapidly as the other one? -.
| Little Girl-GoodneSs. yes she sKlps hFe or SIN
pages every day.-Chcago Record.
4 man once sent his son to an Irish schoolmas
ter who advertised that he taught navigation
| Durng the Christmas holidays he discovered that
the boy was receiving instruction In that branch
| u study. and went 10 gee the schoomaster about
f. why don't you teach my son navigation|' he
| asked. How am OF gon' TO tache navigation sorr.
whn the navigation Is all closed up?' was the an
| swor.
Wlfc-Oh. horrors! That stupid reporter has made
a perfect failure Of the write-up OF our party.
Wclyc u 81 no. lie has Written it up exactly
| as it was.-(Chicago Inter ocean.
The Presby,ery OF Chicago has elected liz Com
| mlssioners to the General Assembly which will meet
| at Saratoga In May. Last year the delegation con-
| tanned only one conservative. but this year the
situation seems be reversed there is only one
prominent liberal in the delegation. Among the
servatves chosen are the Rev DR.. David c. Mar
quls the Rev. David r. Breed. and the Rev. Corey
| +. Moore.
There are two reasons why some ,nS people don't DOM
any mind: the other, that they haven't any bus
ness.-(Tit-Bits.
A sumptuous breakfast. the consequence OF n
bet has been recently offered to Emperor William
II by Baron Won SUNNI at the Kaiserhof. in Ber-
lin. At a parliamentary reception given by Chan
cellor Caprivi at which the Kaiser present,
the latter expressed his belief that the Reichstag
would vote the Russo-German commercial conven-
ton. The Baron having expressed different opIn-
ION the Emperor bet him n breakfast. and has
won it.
A Bit Of Bunco-IIungry Higgins-wot you got
Weary Watkns-Socls.
| Hungry Higgns-Socks?
| tree bones dem socks already dis afternoon,
lettIn de hoboes. guess what had at 10 cents a
guess Dey wasn't one OF EN- come within mile
| of G.-Qndianapols Journal.
The police authorities at Turin. Italy. have pro-
hibited the playing OF a drama THE Agony
of the Century" written by Sgnor Gajeri. The
Turin papers say that this introduction. though II
was directed against a violent revolutionary and
| rather Anarchstic play. has caused some astonsh-
ment and anger. because that police measure re-
called too wildly to the people the times OF the
| Bourbon tyranny. when the drama OF Glacometti,
maria Antoinetta" was forbidden.
she-I should like to know who you staring
| at"
lie (courteousy)-" Whom II you please. not
who BE offended, IL YOU WILL but ungrammatical
never I}oston Transcript.
, The tide tables for the Atlantic coast of the
United States together with %7 stations on the
Atlantic coast of British America. for the year 1896
published by the United States Coast and Geodetc
Survey. ready for issue. and copies can
be obtained Mt the agencies OF the Survey In this
city or by addressing the office at Washington.
The price Is twenty-five cents
lncapacitated.-" children asked the teacher.
does II not seem very wonderful to you that Sam
son was made weak just by losing his hair?'
| And Willie spake. saying:
] They mighter used him fer half-back, but he q
!. be y. g. in the rush line."-(Detroit Tribune