Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-11-29
VICTIM OF A CRUEL HoAx

an.,a,. minator" Palmed on on an
schoolma'am as a Cosmetic.
NC threw away the stump of b;s
eneroot as he assembled the stems of the
North state street residence. and ne he
touched the bell adjusted his necl<t;a
ne wanted to make as good a first inn.
preston as possible, because If wac
part OF his business. He was sell;,or
new cosmetic "
was well he took the precaution
LOT as the portals opened he bebeld a
female lace. 1t was stern and austora
ior IL was attached to a woman of como
years who bore all the marks of sn;ns-
.ernood. She wore glasses and gave
the impression that her features as veil
as ner intellect had been sharpened nv,
contact with children in the school,
room. Her corrugated face made ever,
the nerve of the cosmetic vender -
gie with apprehension. But it was too
late to retreat WV
"ooo day, MISS" he said politely
removing his hat and bowling low, as
your mother in?'
me corners OF that grim mouth be-
gan TO elevate. mo, sir, she's not in
Will 1 do?" ''o' ILL.,
M, he saw his advantage and replied:
why, certainly, you'll do. miss
pinch" III
but ne got inside and as he deposited
ms nat within easy reach he asked: 81
called to inquire, miss, if you needed
any cosmetic"
one was sitting primly on the edge
'oi chalr across the room WAITING for
MIN TO make known his business. and
as those words smote her ears that
-coffee-colored face turned a shade
lighter.
What made you ask such a question
as that?' she asked sharply
Why, I'm a little near-sichted-
that is, I'm selling cosmetic" he SIAM
mered.
We'll, then, must inform you that
do not need any. Was that alp,
But he wasn't going to be bluffed.
May 1 ask in parting if you ever
use any, he asked as he reached for
his hat.
NO, sir, 1 don't"
We'll, / don't know-onIv those
Hamilton girls across the street told
me might call here, but they didn't
think l could sell you any"
She pricked up her ears.
Did they buy any?"
Yes, L sold each of them three bot
ties L know, miss, that you may not
need any. but this cosmetic of mine is
warranted to remove all skin blem-
1shes, freck1es, eruptions. and give a
beautiful, healthy color to the skin
Not only this, but it will render the
skin soft and smooth-just like seal
skin, ma'am."
''Did you tell them Hamilton girls
that?"
why, certainly. ma'am."
THAT it would make their skins as
soft as silk-just like sealskin?'
81 did"
''Then / don't want to talk to you
A man who can lie like that ant safe
Why, sir, don't you know that if them
Hamilton girls got faces like sealskins
there'd be moths in them before two
e hours?"
81 know it, my dear young lady, but
that was none of my business"
She softened bit and talked about
the use of cosmetics as though it was
a sin. Finally she decided to try it
once, and bought a bottle. She would
give him ninety cents, and not a cent
more. He was selling it for one dol
lar, and as it cost six cents he avowed
he couldn't afford it, but, rather than
miss a sale he took the ninety cents.
He was in no enviable mood as he
turned to wish her good morning, and
as he was leaving he reached into his
pocket. and pulled out a little box
Handing it to her he said:
81 almost forgot, miss, that this goes
with your bottle" She took it, and
moment afterward he was gone.
As she stood in the doorway unwrap-
ping the little package in a half
mystified manner the agent was peep
ing out from behind tree. The next
moment the street echoed with wild,
demoniac yell.
The spinster had unrolled a box of
moth erminator.-Chicago Times