New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-03-14
BILL :NYE'S HISTORY.
Foretaste of the History of America That
he has Prepared.
It Is Really Treasure Of Wit and Hu'
lnor-Clever Pictures.

,,ture- ii slender romance entitled ga
Bundle Of Life''-which reads in this
way every interesting,' remarked Sir
Vcntrv; but interesting things are rever
true And the truth is only convincing
when told by an experienced liar OBJ
served Nicholas" Now the cynical ac-
curacy OF these remarks is ad;nirably IL
lustrated in a new .'History Of the Uni
ted ;otates,' which the experienced au-
thor of Forty Liars and Other Lies''-
the truthful Bill Nye--is about to bring
forth through the house Of Lippincott's
(Philadelphia). Mr.. Nye has been for
tunate in securing the artistic aid of Fred
e1ick B. Opper, whose pen -andink draw
ings are highly satisfactory adornnent
If a most unique tale.
The historical method employed by
Mr.. Nye is sufficiently described in his
predatory apology, which goes on to say
that: "Facts in nude state are not IL
able criminally, any more than bright
and beautiful children commit a felony
by being born thus. X It is our
object to harmonic our history and deal
with people past and present.; people
who ate and possibly drank: people who
were born, fourished and died. X x X
If we succeed in this way we are con-
tent If not, we know whose fault it
will be, but will not get mad and swear
about it," The history sets out, quite
regularly, with brief account of the ad-
ventures of Columbus when he appeared
as suppliant at Court
::The interview we arc told, "was
encouraging until the matter Of money
necessary for the trip was touched upon.
His majesty was called in and spoke sad
ly Of the public surplus. He said that
there were 800 still due on his own sal
ary, and the palace had not been painted
for eight years. He had taken orders
on the store until he was tired of it.
'Our meat BILL said he, taking off his
crown ana MASKING hornet on the wall,
sis 60 days overdue. We owe the hired
glrl for three weeks: and how we are
going to get funds enough to do any dis
covering, when you remember that we
have got to pay for an extra session this
foil fcr 1,a Of ,ol-ipr
plenty?' But Isabella came and sat by
him in her winning way, and with the
moistcned corner Of her handkerchief re-
moved a spot of maple syrup from the
ermne trimming of his reigning gown.
She patted his hand, and, with her gen
tie voice, cheered him and told him that
If he would economic and go without
cigars and wine, in less than 200 years
he would have saved enough to fit Co.
lumbus out. a few weeks later Ac had
saved $3.50 in this way. The queen then
went at twilight and Paw med a large
breastpin, and, although her chest was
very sensible to cold, she went without
it all the following winter, in order that
Columbus might discover America be-
fore immigration set IN here"
The pilgrims, it appears, were an hon
est people, but money matters were rath.
er panicky with them, and "they were
kept busy digging CLANS to sustain life
in order to raise Indian corn enough tc
give them sufficient strength to pull
CLANS enough the following winter tc
get them through until the next corn
crop should give them strength to dig
clans again. Thus a trip to London OF
the Isle of Wight looked farther and far.
ther away. y Speaking OF
clams' adds the author, sit is said BY
some OF the fore fathersthat the Cape Cod
menu did not go beyond cod fish Gro.
quettes until the, beginning of the 18th
century, when pie was added by act OF
legislature. CLANS are not so restless il
eaten without the brisket, which is sail
to lie hard on the stomach (See DR.
Dunn's Family Physician and Horse
Doctor)." Concluding his chapter on
5 the Plymouth Colony, Mr.. Nye is remin-
ded in ''Looking over the lives of oul
forefathers who came from England,
am not surprised that, with all the Eng
lish people who have recently come tc
this country, have never seen a fore
4 father''
Once the various colonies are planted
! here, the authors story of their vicissi.
i tudes moves rapidly ON, with charm.
B ing disregard of chronological sequence
3 We leap for instance from the Salem
witchcraft to Maine, learning that: