The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-09-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

mic. -Atchison Globe.
It takes hard times TO make somo
people ankful.-Ram's Horn.
A boys idea of hero is another
boy who runs of. -Atchison Globe.
It is human to err, and human ma
ture to say, 81 told you so."-Ram's
Horn.
Did anyone ever get all the reward
that was offered for a thing
son Globe.
Miss Brooks 'fDo you get board in
Brooklyn?" Bridges-"Awfully."
New York World.
A busy man usually prefers telling
lie to answering lot of questions.
--Atchison Globe.
There is as little mercy in stabbiDg
with word as there is in doing it
with knife. Rams Horn.
A woman thinks nothing OF buying
a fifteen dollar hat, and then eatinga
seventeen cent luncheon. Truth.
We should always treat fortune in
such way as not to cause her smile
10 buIu lLlO ~ hOlSS-luu'Sh IL 4 uSAs
And what is a pneumatic tire'
You asked me once before.
1t is tho name that, without blame
They now give to bore.
Judge.
They say that money talks. Prob
ably that is the reason a doctor first
asks to see the patients tongue. -
Puck.
She--"What colored eyes do you
admire; brown or blue?" He-'I
can't see we'll enough in this light. -
Buffalo Express.
''Is Fraulein Sussmilch ut home?"
"No, sir" "Please tell her that l
called" 81 will tell her at once" =
Lustige Blaetter.
The person who can sing and wont
is bad enough; but surely there is no
forgiveness for those who can't sing
and will. .-Elmira Gazette.
'In oldcn time did walk on air
Ye winner OF ye maiden fair;
| But now" and here the joker grinned-
"He mounts his wheel and rides on wind"
Buffalo Courier
People think it is tough when they
have to pay thirty five or forty cents
per pound for steak, but it is great
deal tougher when they pay only tif-
teen. Boston Courier.
"Why don't you try to paddle your
own canoe" growlod Brown rs Jones
struck him for ten. 81 can't" said
Jones, "but I am trying to float
loan. Washington Times.
Billtired-" "The world owes me q
good livin' an that's ell they be to it. 2"
Tom Wiscr-"Yes, OF boy; but you
see they is so many O. you fellers tibet
she can't pay her bills. boston
Courier.
"Now," said the young man, "take
tho average woman ''But there IL
no average woman," Interrupted the
elder. "You just naturally have to
consider each woman by herself. -
Cincinnati Tribune.
Tonix -"My friend Soarer's bust
ness frequently puts his life in danger,
but I've never yet known him to de-
sert his post. Toddies-"Whats his
basiness?" Tonix--"He's an aero
naut. South Boston News.
Banks from his berth, feebly)-I
say, steward, do you think it's all up
with me?" Steward (cheerfully)-
"Hovery thing, for the present, sir;
but your happetite will be a-comin'
by an by. New York Herald.
"Idttlo boy blue, como blew mp your hem.
The Sleeps in the meadow, the cows in
the corn =
10 came when the cattle had long gotten
A messenger .5ssao;sI' ne--this lituo bog blue.
--PGc%.
al was astounded when heard that
M. Brown, who married Miss Schmid.
last week, had given up his position.
Does he think that love will support
him" cob, no; but he hopes that
his fatLcr-in-Aw will. go Fliegcnde
BlGetter.
Miss v,,n Aster-''Did you tell Mr..
Chumloigh 1 Was not et home,
Eugenie?" Eugeaio-"Ouim man selle
and he zay no spib not Franceis, and
1 TO him gay zGt milady will Gomez
down her own self and tell him in zee
Anglais The Kings jester.
Mrs. Nexdoor r-"Your little boy
cllmDeu over luH lehcC Hhd ran al
over my flower beds Mrs. Suburb
--"Horrorsl They had Just hoen
waterod, hadn't thcy?" "N.-.o."
"Oh, well, never mind; The exercise
won't hurt him if ho dom set his feet
wot, "-iool News.
Soulful Young Woman -"Do you
mean to tell mo that you have never
yot met the woman whose presence
and touch thrilled your whole being
in an utterly indescribable mauueg?"
Weary Young MGp-"Only once. II
was whom I was in the hands of wo-
man dentist, indianapolis Journal.
When she talked she talked; aud
when she talked uobo ~ else much
talked at least not in that immediate
vicinity. Nor was her husband en-.
tirsly obliyious 30 the fact. Your
wife, remarked IL friend 81 HIM me
day, "has remarkable command Of
language "Well, yes" he replied
thoughtfully, II presume sho hasi
but theirs are times when ! almost
think II gets away wish bsF' -pstgQit