St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1894-01-27
THE JOKERS BUDGET .
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE Pk less.
He Had Noticed lt-Cause GOs' Resent
ment-Worse-AS Singular Request,
Etc Etc.

ment-Worse-A Singular Request.
Etc Etc.
HE HAD NOTICED IT.
Barber giving him swipe down the
other cheek Yes, sir; I've got some
influence in this ward, if | do say it my
self
Man in Chair--You do seem to have
something of pL'll.-LChicago Tribune.
CAUSE FOR RESENTMENT.
"There's an awful quarrel on betweeI
Harry de Ruyter and Miriam. Have 20 u
heard about it!'
''No; what's it all shout?'
"Whv. Harry told her she was his
study for the heroine of Ills last story,
and she read it and found that he de-
scribed her as mot strictly beautiful u
WORSE.
Observation-Disclosures is terrible bo' e..
Strang-Does he persist in telling che
clever things his children have said?
Barrie--Worse He tells of the
clever things he has said himself.
A SINGULAR REQUEST.
Family Physician-T can assure you,
my dear lady, that you have not the least
trace of liver complaint.
Patient, who longs to go to Carlsbad
But, my dear doctor, can't you provide
me with it if I want it very badly?-
lFliegende Blaetter.
NIGHT CALL HIM ONE BY TELEPHONE.
Haverly-Would you call man liar
who was in the habit Of telling little
harmless fbs?
Austin-It would depend upon how
much he weighed. Vogue.
JUST LONG ENOUGH TO THINK IT OVER.
Patient Old Lady Ito elevator boy
reading novel)-How often does the
elevator go up, boy?
Elevator Boy-1t goes up at the end
of every chapter.-[Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
THE FAULT ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Isabella. i don't see why YOU should
have any difficulty in conversing with
Mr.. Francement. You said you spoke
French?
Elayne-T do but no one can under |
stand me- Chicago Record.
IF THIS WERE ONLY TRUE.
So many girls will have to go without !
new hats this winter on account of the |
Worlds Fair that it will be quite the |
thing to 60 bareheaded to the tleatre.-
AchIson Globe.
WOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
He-What is the reason you won't let
me kiss you when [ ask you2 Is it be-
cause you think I have kissed so many
other girls?
She-No acquit you of that.
He-Indeed! Why?
She-Because, if you had you wouldn't
have asked New York Herald.
A ROMANTIC BUNDLE.
"Do ,.ou love me2' said the paper bag
to the sugar.
I'm just wrapped up in you," replied
the sugar.
"You sweet thing" murmured the
paper bag.-[Truth.
A PROTESTED TRANSMISSION.
Little Mary-O, you've got papa's
'azor. He'll just take your head off
when he finds it out.
Little Johnnie Cooking at the blade
With satisfied air after drawing it 1
through another pine stick)-Not with
his. -[Detroit Tribune
wANTrD cor Ic1T1rDr
"Now, DEAR said the thoughtful c
wife, "you will be careful not to get /
our feet wet, won't you?"
"Humph" replied the dyspeptic hus- e
and. "That's the way with you women. h
hat shows just about how much con. 7
liberation you have for man. I sup
ose you'd be satisfied to see me break h
ny neck trying to walk down to 6
~ office on my hands, wouldn't you?" 0
Washington Star. tt
JOHN SETTLED AND DONE FOR. ~
$50 your son John is counting woman Il
t last? I'm afraid, however, that he'll
e too bashful to propose to her." If
"He won't need to propose; she's a N
'idow. " New York Press. oil
MEAN MAN.
"My dear" said Mr.. Bloobumper to a.
is wife, Il wish you would have some y,
these biscuits of yours when Mr.. Bris- "
% is here for dinner"
81 thought you didn't like Mr.. T..
riscoe, love-" replied Mrs. Bloobumper, IA
eetly.
Il dcn't."-[Judge.
A woMAN's JOKE. so
Yes, mutton's dear to-day" said he,
'But here's some venison that's nice"
Oh, no; no venison for me-"
She said, "that's dear at any price,"
II New York Press.
LIKE A PAPER WRAPPER.
The Young Housewife-Have you
y canvas back duck2 as
Butcher-Yes, ma'am.
The Young Housewife-Well, I wish th
I'D send me one And I wish you'd
We it taken out of its canvas, If you "s
ease !-[Chicago Record. We
WORTHY DOCTOR.
''Dr. Jacques is certainly q first rate MI
ysician. All his operations succeed 49,
d he has never yet met with failure" gu
'Then his patients must indeed be wa wa
,ky." gr
eyes; for when he gets them their s.c
ferings are sure to cease very soon.'-- M,
,urnal Amusant. POI
He WAS NO TRANSIENT.
He was introduced to her in the