The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-02-17

to the agent that l would give him $3.50
week and sign IL contract with him for a
year. We argued the matter for about
an hour. and tiually we came to ar
agreement on the basis Of So Il week
and three benefits IA year. 1t was the
steepest price ever paid, but l was los
ing money at the rate Of $50 a week,
and | was ready to take almost any
chance Of bringing up the business
again. Besides, i knew that if the two
headed girl didn't draw l should be
ruined anyhow, and it didn't matter
what l might agree to pay, us there
would he no money to pay it with,
whereas. if she did draw. as l expected
she would, | could easily afford to pay
$75 a week for her. I always did go on
the principle Of dealing literally with
| people. especially when it is clear that
there is nothing to be lost by it.
While the agent and T were trying
! to get the best Of one another the two
! headed girl sat with some of her arms
| around both her necks and was that pa
t!ent and sweet tempered in appearance
| that | began to hope that for Orce I had
found "A freak that wouldn't be perpetu-
ally quarreling. | have told you, | pre-
sumo. freaks do nothing but quarrel
and fall in love. don't wonder at their
quarreling, seeing that they are shut
up together day and night and haven't
| anything else to do. but it was a long
time before | found out why they are
continually falling in love. 1t is he
cause they don't get any exercise. except
now and then a drive III a closed car
riage.
You never heard OF a trapeze per
| former or a strong man sailing III love.
That's because they work off their atfec-
tons on their muscles. On the other
hand, a fat woman who never gets any
exercise at all is always in love. and
generally two or three deep. Naturally
the more freaks fall in love the more
they quarrel, and there is hardly a day
| don't have to smooth two or three of
them down or threaten to lock them up
till they quit heavlng candlcsticks and
language at one another.
We'll, | advertised my two headed
girl the next day. and when night came
the house was packed. Ralph Waldo
Emerson himself couldn't nave drawn
better. The very best classes of Boston
society came to see the two headed girl.
and more women with more sptctacl.s
and more false teeth came into til" shuw
than had ever seen before in my whole
professional experience.
''ThCre wasn't the least douL; about
the success Of the two headed girl. In
the very first week | took in $3.50 more
than | had ever taken in in Olr week i'll
my life before. The museum WIS crowd
ed day and night. and every m,th' r in
them that the two headed girl taught
some great moral lesson. and that they
ought to initiate her, or avoid initiating
her. or some other rubbish of that gen
eral kind. | never pretend TO under
stand such things myself. | don't asso-
ciate with freaks to learn moral lessons
from them. When | want moral lessons,
I'll go to Sunday school and get en-.
instead Of lowering myself to ask ire ais
to give me lessons.
The two headed girl. us | have sail
in the beginning. was Il Lapiandtr and
couldnt speak anything but Laplani-
ish. She had been with me altoTt II
month when | wa astonished one night
after the exhibition had closed and the
freaks had sat down to their usual han-
quet of pickles and cider to hear one of
her heads say to the other:
Iou say that again, miss, and IN
tear yDur eyes ont.
'lIcllo! says /, Thought nrIt!.,r
Of you could speak any English
The girl blushed a double blush on
all four checks and said: We've learned
considerable since we came to America.
but we never try to speak English be
caus,. it amt professionalism in our
case, at any rate.
That's all right. said /. Speak
what you like, only remember that |
don't allow 10 quarreling among my
people.
The next day | made inquiries about
the W. headed girl and found that both
Of her were in love with the same young
man. He came to the show every day
and always brought both Of her flowers.
L lOiIt OUT HlltT" ara mat It was 4
philosophc" and was studying what he
called The Psychological Character Of
Felnal" Dual Consciousness as Exempli-
fed IN the Two Headed Girl of Lapland.
| remember this because he wrote an
article in The Atlantic Monthly with
that title. which would have been first
class advertisement of the girl if she
hadn't happened to have retired to pri-
yatc life when the article was published.
he WAS a rather good locking young
fellow, and both the heads of the girl
considered that he was in love with
them. Mary, which is what we used t o
call the right hand head. was sure that
the young man was after her, and only
gave flowers to Jane. who was the left
hand head, in order not to give away
the real state Of his affections to the
general public. while Jane was equally
certain tina it was she the young man
was in love with. and that he considered
the other head 10 be very much in tine
way.