The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1894-12-06

ing hurriedly over an acre Of glass GOV.
cred hotbeds on the Harlem on spring
evening.
To Mr.. Balzaac Peterson would say
as friend: Do not sacrifice so much Of
your motif to the building Of your acros-
tics in the future, and do not allow the
Saltwater police to catch Won writing
any of your sonnets On dead walls and
things, for there is an ordinance against
it.
You will please also consider our cor
respondence at an end, as shall not
pour out my soul to great coarse man
who does not respect me.
will now go out and rake few au-
tumn leaves and croquet balls and rub
Der dolls and corsets and things.
Oh, the autumn leaves is falling.
They're falling here and there;
They re falling in the atmosphere,
And also in the air;
They're falling DER the bridegroom
That dwells in beauty's bower,
And also DER the bride herself
And the statesman in his power.
The following letter is just received,
after some delay, owing to the fact that
I am travelling to and fro good deal
lately:
COLORADO SPRINGS, Sept. Is.
William Nye, Esq, Asheville, N. c.:
DEAR SIR-The following item recently ap-
peared in the public prints: 'tThe Duke of San
Carlos, a gentleman of the bedchamber of the
king of Spain, has committed suicide" This
sad affair has again brought up the question
Of the proper treatment of gentlemen of the
bedchamber. What is your idea about it, Our
resident English nobility are not agreed upon
the question, and the rest of us don't pretend
to understand it. For instance, if a gentleman
of the bedchamber inadvertently drops into
snore, is it the proper thing to heave boot
jack or q cuspidor at his ''bloody ed or
would it be more in keeping with the usages
Of the best society to keep Rugby football
under the bolster to hit him with? These gem
tlemen of the bedchamber ought not to be
driven to suicide by needless cruelty. How do
you treat your gentleman of the bedchamber?
Could a man under the bed be properly called
gentleman of the bedchamber2 If one was
to keep a gentleman of the bedchamber
would it be safe to dispense with the bulldog
in the back yard? There are people here who
would like to keep gentleman of this kind if
they knew just how to do it, and do it right
Yours, JARF JOHNSON.
During the last two Democratic years,
Mr.. Johnson, I have had no gentleman
Of the bedchamber, preferring to put
the money into -four, but once while in
England had one whose duty it was
to tuck me in at night, prompt me lit
tie in my "Now I lay me-, bring in
my teeth in the morning after playing
the hose on them awhile and then warm
ing them in the oven.
miss him very much. but l must
economize
Regarding your other inquiries, I
would say yes, certainly, in most cases,
but we must be patient, loving and gen.
tie, and shun the flowing bowl.
It's wine, oh, wine, for the debauchee,
But water, oh, water, is the truck for mel
Another correspondent writes as fol-
lows, inclosing photography:
SPARTANBURG, s. c., Sunday, Oct 2.
Bill Nye, Esq, Buck Shoals Il think, N. c.:
DEAR SIR write you on little matter of
business. heard some man say that you fur
nished him food for thought, and as I am
about to go into the thought business allow
ed to write and see if you could also furnish
me with some of the same and at what price
and if it could be sent per mail, post paid. You
see. never mind paying what anything is
worth, provided the transportation doesn t cost
more than the article is worth when I get it.
And please give directions for use-how much
ought to eat at once and how often.
I am running hair vigor plant and thought
maybe we could swap some Of one for the 9th
er, as the winter is coming on, and q fine (new)
crop Of hair might be refreshing to you. in
close you my photograph Copyright applied
for), taken after using, which will show you
what luxuriant growth considering the soiD
that the vigor will induce.
Please send me your photograph before us
ing, SO as to compare the same with one taken
sitter using. have just read your essay on
the historical aspect of jokes and was especial