The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1894-03-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

LnN AAlbAl WIZ lIbOlb uuutI htluN
sion works for bad paYmaster.
Anybody can see through people
who make spcctacles of themselves. -
Dallas News.
The borrower is a good deal like pie
crust-he is very "short' and very
sweet. Truth.
When a man has no bills against
him he must feel as if he belonged to
the nobility. Texas Siftings.
Eating ones own words isn't exactly
a love-feast, but sometimes our friends
enjoy seeing us do it. Truth.
A mans worth and what a mans
worth, are, it frequently happens,
widely different things. Puck.
Cholly-''Yaas, wemissed each other
in the crowd" She-"That's just like
her. She's always losing things. -
Life.
A large part of the average hack
mans success is doubtless due to his
knowing how to take people. Buffalo
Courier.
Clarisso-'T owe you an apology,
dearest" Fred-"Don't speak of it.
I wish to remain preferred credi,
Tor. Pack.
'And do you ever invite your poor
relations to visit you?" 20 yes, in
deed. You see they are all too poor
to get here. Judge.
'Bilkeins is a strong face, or I'm
no Judge of physiognomy.' thought
to be. He and his whole family are
living on it. Buffalo Courier
Mamma-''Aren't you home from
school earlier than usual to-dny?"
Bobby~-'Yes, mamma, I wasn't kept
in to-day. '-Harper's Young People.
II wonder what this image repre-
sents?" "The god of humor, proba-
bly,. Don't you see that it is full of
little funny cracks! '-Indiapolis Jour
nal. 4
"Why in the world do you want to
get your daughter q violin, lawson ?
She is not musical is she?" Not at
all; but yiolins have chin rests. -
Judge.
Jinks-'T don't think it looks we'll
for a minister to wear diamonds. -
Ellkins-- "Whv not? Aren't there
sermons in stones" Fields
Washington. a
81 wonder how it was discovered
/ that fish was a brain food?" She
, 'Probably by the wonderful stories
; that men tell who go fishing. Chi
| cago nter-Ocean.
He-"Did you ever hear that Jag
sons wife speaks two languages?'
She-"Yes." He-"What are they
The one for company and the Other
for Jagson. ''--Inter-O Ocean.
"Now, what must [ DO with thil
y wedding cake TO dream Of it," asked
= gushing damsel of a matter-of- fac
young man. Just eat it; that.
> all, " was the reply. -Hd-Bits.
4 SHEFFIELD me, now, have your At
p fections always remained constant?'
d He--'I can truthfulIy say that the,
y have, though | admit that their obiec
!. has often changed. Boston Tran
A script.
d Muggins-"Some people are neye
8 satisfied to know that certain thing
y are so, but are continually whiting t
1t know the why and whereof OF it.
rs Buggins-"N Yes, | wonder WV itlis?
1t Philadelphia Record.
l. cts bad luck, said the bad bow
5 "to give person something sharp o
ii pointed | shouldn't be a bit sur
l, prised if young Mr.. Jinkles aud
20 were to part friendship after l leaY
I'd this pm in his chair for him. Wash
s. ington Star.
S Bartender Look here. there
ThatIl do! I've counted ten cracker
and seven iunks Of beef you've eatel
already" Hungry One-'They hir
u you to tend here, don't they? On,
Il. lunch counter is enough-see?" -Bos
lg ton Transcript.
ey Timid Young Author Haven't yo,
Of read my poem too hastily? I'm sure
Id sir, it has some good features about
ok that you would see on more careful
es reading" Editor with sudden sus
ct picion) You are not trying to wor
&c off an acrostic on us, are you, niss?
Chicago Tribune.