The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-09-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUM0R OF THE DAY.
The Boston girl speaks of the ball
player as being stricken out.-Puck.
Mans character often speaks the
loudest when his lips are silent
Texas Siftings.
We have heard girls apply the word
"cute" to everything but corpse
Atchison Globe.
Some men would complain if they
did not have anything to complai2~
about. Globe.
Few husbands and wives are so af-
feetionate and trusting that they say
"our money. ."-Atchison Globe.
It sounds rather paradoxical for a
perfectly we'll man to speak of his in
valid wife as his better half.-Boston
Transcript.
"Er man kin run inter debt" said
Uncle Eben, "but when it comes ter
gittin' out he's gotter crawl. Wash
ington Star.
Scribe-"How is your novel COM
ing along2" Jiblets-"BY the ex-
press. 1 expect it at any moment"
Syracuse Post.
An old maid is popular lady who
has had many elegant offers of mar
riage, but prefers to remain single.
--Atchison Globe.
As q rule, the man who boasts that
he believes in always calling spade a
spade, occasionally calls things spades
that are not spades. Puck.
Wigwag referred to q conversation
he had had with two female deaf mutes
as "a little exercise with the dumb
bellies. "-Philadelphia Record.
In scheduling this great big world
No thing received slight;
For every dog there is day,
For every cut u night.
Buffalo Courier.
An insult from certain sources is q
compliment, When an ass kicks at
you he does so because he recognizes
that you aro urlike him. Texas Sift.
ings,
Judge-"How old are you, missF"
Elderly Female-'I AMI Rm--"
Judge-"Better hurry up; every
moment makes it worse "--Fliegende
Blaetter,
zone sister," said Johnny, ''is
stamp clerk in the postofice aud the
other is n school teacher. 1 often
wonder which one licks the aost. -
Adams Freeman,
Melton-"I wish I hadn't read that
article on How to Tie n Necktie. "
Beaver "Why2" Melton-'I knew
how to tie ono before read it.
Clothier and Furnisher.
"Did Miss Gotrox's father try TO
draw you out while you were there,
last night?" "Draw me out? Great
Scott, man He was behind me, not
in front. Buffalo Courier.
She stood upon the white sand beach,
The north, east south and west did scan
Wnen suddenly sne gave n screech
''ua, ha ha, ha J" She saw man
Syracuse Post.
Servant-"Yis, sorr. Mrs. Talker
is in. What's yer name?" Visitor
professor NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Seryant-"Och! Sure, yed better go
roight in and take it wild ye. Tit
Bits.
Smith-Jones-"H do you manage
to keep up your mental energy 30
well ?" smith -Brown-"My wife gives
me n piece of her mind every morning
before l start to work. - Harlem
Life.
Blobbs-"What are you doing with
your football suit on? Not going to
play this kind of weather." Hicks
''No; but I'm going to see old Money
bags and ask him for his daughters
hand. philadelphia Record.
"Whon other lips an other tongues
The tale OF love shall toll"
haye no douJt, Eyangeine,
You'll like II jus; as well.
indianapolis Journal.
Clerk 81 would like to have my
salary raised. Boggs gets 50 more
than me, aud he don't do any more
work. It's unjust. Employer -
eyes it is unjust I'll reduce Boggs's
salary S6. Philadelphia Record.
Studious Boy-"What is the mean
ing Of market value and intrinsic
yalue?'" Father - "Ihe market
value IS the price you pay iof lhlhS'
intrinsic value is what you get when
you sell it to a secondhand dealer. -
Tit Bits.
Little Ethel-"I wonder why men
like to talk about their old school
days?" Little Johnny--'I suppose
after they get growed up they is al
ways tryin' to find out whore the
teacher lives, so they eau lick him. "
Good News.