The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1894-05-24
JONES'S CYCLONE HOUSE.
A Somewhat Surprising Tale of the Kansas
Prairies.

Jackson Peters leaned back In his chair
and slowly blew q cloud of smoke toward
the ceiling. Jones'" he said, 81 want to
ask your opinion in regard to the PROBABLE
ity of story which was told me the other
day.
well, Jackson ?" was the guarded reply
of the cautious Jones.
1t struck me" continued Peters, that a
man whe had told as many-thst is to say,
man who has told as much of what may
call awe-inspiring truth as you have, ought
to be good Judge of the probability of a
story. 1t was cyclone story which was
going to ask you about"
Most cyclone stories are palpable lies,
| Jackson
"No doubt. The point is this: He said
he had seen straws driven through inch
boards by the force of the wind"
| 1t never happened, Jackson. That is a
stock lie told of every cyclone that blows.
| Your friend imposed upon your youth, my
| boy. He would never have dared TO tell
such a manifest and selfheralding lie to
! Robinson or Smith. / must admit, though,
that the force of the wind in genuine cy-
clone is considerable. When I lived in Kan
| sas in the 70s, had quantity of poultry,
but it all was blown away in the first cy-
clone of the season except one black Spanish
rooster. He chung to grass root with his
bill and allowed his tail to crack and whip
| in the wind like yacht pennant. He rode
| out the gale, though most of his feathers
were blown off. Subsequently l found some
of them embedded over half an inch in my
grindstone"
Yes" returned Peters, a presume my
friend was trying to impose on my Adde'S
cence."
81 think so, Jackson. had considerable
experience with cyclones that Summer in
Kansas. But learned TO handle myself,
so that I did not mind them much. /
soon saw the fallacy of depending On cyclone
cellars and that sort of thing. The funda-
mental difficulty with all such things is that
you try to hold yourself firmly in one place.
1t is as if ship in gale should tie up
to post (supposing mid-ocean posts for the
time being) instead of driving before the
tempest. The first cyclone that Summer, l.
of course, went down cellar, like other folks
My house was soon blown away, but crouch
ed in the cellar and felt safe. The next thing
/ knew the cellar went too, rolling over and
over like a silk hat. 1 was soon spilled
out. With infinite labor I crawled back
in the teeth of the wind, intending to take
refuge in the hole the cellar came out of
To my CONSERVATION / found that had blown
away also. then followed the example of
the rooster, chung to a root and allowed my
legs to fiutter and snap in the gale like
weather signal flag
When the wind subsidized, toward night,
and objects began to come down-a hay
stack here, man there, wagon somewhere
else-I set myself at work ON plan to pre-
vent any such awkward occurrence in the
future. Applying the principle of nom
resistance, / constructed spherical house,
about IL feet in diameter. It was an exact
ball, covered with light boiler plates and
with iron shutters for the doors and windows.
1t was not the most convenient house inside,
but by fitting it up like a ship-that is,
utilizing every inch of space, no matter where
it was, for some purpose-it did very well. /
had bunk on one side for sleeping purposes,
with straps to hold myself in.
The first cyclone came up one afternoon
while was hoeing my watermelons. Tuck
ing my faithful rooster under my arm, re-
tired to my house and closed the shutters, got
into the bunk, taking the rooster with me,
and strapped myself in. We got off in about
10 minutes, rolling easily at first, but bound
ing along with greater rapidity after we had
gone short distance. The motion was pecu-
liar, but not violent. It was pleasanter |
when we were moving at right angles to |
the plane of my bunk than when parallel to
it, as in the latter case we were standing on
our heads good part of the time. The |
rooster did not mind it so much as feared |
he would and occasionally l could hear him |
Growing Justify under the clothes.
fell into a light sleep after q while. |
When l awOke the motion seemed much /
steadier, though there was an occasional |
terrific bump. I peeped through small |
crack, and saw the reason. The wind had |
greatly increased, and we were being car
ried through the air near the ground, only |
striking on the high places. Afterward we
settled down to fast roll on long, level |
prairie. We passed several ordinary houses,
which, being square-cornered, could not
make so good time. l could see that the
face of nature was being furrowed up, and
the landscape blown about right and left. I
held my rooster up, and let him peep out.
He crowed and tapped his wings heriocally
as we easily passed a large Episcopal
church, which was pitching heavily and
making poor time, owing to the fact that
the steeple was blowing into the ground
every few rods. We crossed the Arkansas
River with one bound, and shortly after
rolled into little gully-or draw, as they
call it in Kansas lodged there. The
wind soon quoted down. Leaving my roos-
ter on the dressiDg-case, / went out, and
from a man who had just come
up from deep well that we were in the
Indian Territory. Fortunately q cyclone
came along from the other direction two
days later and blew US back home. When 1
released my rooster he went back and be-
gan scratching in the garden as if nothing
had happened"
How did you stop at your farm?" in
luired Peters.
Jackson" replied Jones, "your mania for
inquiry has struck you too late. You should
have become inquisitorial yesterday, when
your friend told you of observing hay in the
act of perforating heavy lumber. You show
A lack of the ability to judge of historical
values when, after swallowing that story
ike three-year's child, you begin to de-
nand sordd details of plain tale from the
prairies like mine. "-Harper's Weekly.
How To Do 1t,