The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1894-10-17
Nhe AS}erala and Yew5.
ARP ON HAPPINESS.
When Not Worrying About the Little Arps
He Is About the Country.

He Is About the Country.
Oh, my country. 1 thought that
when me and my wife or my wife and
l bad raised our ten children and
turned them loose we would have a
rest and our remaining days would
all be calm and serene. But these
grandchildren keep coming on ard
every new one that comes has
to have silver cup or silver spoon or
something by way of remembrance. 1t
used to be cups, butit has got down to
spoons now and I reckon will get down
to safety pins after while. My wife IS
& MATERIAL ancestor and is proud Of
her grandchildren and these little me-
mentos have got to come, money or no
money. And there are the birthdays
that keep on multiplying and she
knows every one and wants something
for them. "Just a little something,"
she whispers as she follows me to the
door. It is these little something's that
keep me on strain, but I am going to
keep on that time as long as cau. She
has been telling me for month that 1
I ought to have new suit OF clothes,
especially as there was wedding to
come off in the family very soon and 1
would have to escort the bride adown
the long drawn aisle in the presence Of
q multitude. And SO tried the cloth
ing stores in Atlanta for suit with
the taris off, but didn't find it. That
kind nasent come yet, and so shall
brush up my old ones for the OCCASION,
Nobody is going to look at me nohoW
for there are to be ten beautiful brides
maids and as many groomsmen and q
church full of witnesses and the we'd
ding march is to be played, and l
could Just drop out of it and never be
missed. But l did buy my wife silk
wedding dress and she is as proud as
she was at sweet sixteen, when she
stood up by me with her Augusta
clothes on. She jldent have but one
bridesmaid, either, and there wasent
much fuss made over it. There were
no presents at all, buc q few days after
we went to housekeeping seven likely
darkies came tramping' up to the
house and sat down on the front steps
Until I came from the store. My pref
tyyoung wife was sitting at the window
pretending to sew. She lad a mis-
chievous smile on bcr face as stopped
in front of the smiling darkies. what
are you all doing here" said I. "What
have you come after, Tip-you and
Mary and alp" And Tip said: "Old
master sont US up here to Miss Octsvy
and she tole us TO sot down here tweii
sou come. Old master tole US we all
b'long to you and Miss Octavy now."
Well, I never felt less helpless in my
life. What to do with them I didn't
know. had no plantation and no
negro houses and it never occurred to
me that I could hire them out. So
after consultation me and my wife or
my wife and sent them all back ex-
cept Tip and Mary and begged the old
gentleman to keep them until later.
He enjoyed the joke and said be only
wanted to make delivery of them, for
they had long declared that when Miss
Oetavy got married they were ''gwine
wild her"
No, we didn't have our share of we'd
ding. Ny wife cost me just Sll.50-slO
to old brother Patterson, the preacher,
and dollar and half for the license.
Cheap, I tell you. a good wife is the
cheapest thing in the world, for she
has done been raised and clothed and
schooled when you get hec. Old Jacob
had TO work fourteen years for the girl
he loved, but he got some Of that back
by cheating old man Labon in the
cattle trade. But nowadays wedding
costs as much as funeral-costs old
folks ] mean. From the way things
are going on at my house it looks like
tbs. whole family are 10 be married,
even down to the little granddaughters,
who are to be dressed up as cherubs
and ningle With the angels. It takes
dry goods and lace amazing. And the
kinsfolks are coming and some dear
friends, and all have to come in bridal
array, and the cake baking business has
begun and old Aunt Ann is as much
excited as if she was to be married, too,
and declares that "nobody's cake amt
gwiue ter beat'' her cake. The house
has been swept and garnished-not
cobweb or 8 speck in it. The rooms in
the cabin have been cleaned and car
peted, and for while one of them was
ssssjg6ed to me, but am ruled out now
and will have to hang up somewhere
or sleep on the hay in the barn. It is
mighty big thing, I tell you, for our
baby girl is going to step off and leave
us-going off after a young man who is
no kin to her and never did anything
for her bat give her ring and book
and some French candy now and then.
But it is all right and according to ma
ture and we can die more happily if
the girls are happily married before We
60. But our tine will come yet if we
live four years longer. We will have a
golden wedding-Do silver in ours
We are for the gold standard right now
in advance. Just a gold dollar from
each of our friends will do, fer, are
goldolaters now in anticipation. We
don't want to break nobody. These
silver wedding presents from the gen.
erous donors are mighty nice and highly
appreciated by the happy donees, but
they give the old folks tits-I neal the
paternal ancestors who have to foot the
bills.
If an old man has q popular son or
daughter who has to play bridesmaid
or groomsman to somebody three or
four times year its as aggravating as
WV l. hIO" O0UOSOuC
lor over in Rome who died insolvent,
and it was making wedding presents
that broke him. He wanted to marry
to get out of the business, but couident
make up his mind, and all his set of
girls married while he was making up
mind and he had to give every one
- beautiful present. At last he died and
not one ofthose girls went to his funeral.
But it is the fashion nowadays to make
wedding presents, and it is all right if
they come willingly..and don'tstraiu the
old mans pocket. It is sort oftax on
income that has to be endured. In our
young days We dident get presents, but
we had as fine wedding supper as can
be bad now, and next day we had an
Unfair, that was as fine as the supper.
The Unfair was a swell dinner at the
house of the groom's father, and both
families and all their kindred were
there. That ended the show.
There was no London or Paris or New
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