The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1894-07-03
A POLITICAL CHAMELEON AND
HARLEQUIS.


ton of unconscious humorists. In david
Copperneid" Mr Dick was to Miss Betsy
Trotwood a philosopher and q profound
thinker, but to the world at large Mr.. Dick
was an inoffensive. mild, philanthropic
person who had lost his wits. Mr.. Dick Is
one Of the unconscious humorists OF
Dickens great novel: he does not mean 10
be funny: he Is in deadly earnest all the
time, nevertheless Mr.. Dick is an uncon-
scious humoriss: that is. 3 creature who
contributes to the gaiety Of nations with
ont intending it or knowing it. He is
amusing only in the sense that a man is
who slips and falls upon the ice. The
world la ighs, not because the fallen man
is witty, but because he is in ridiculous
situation.
In this sense Populist convention is
always a collection of unconscious humor-
lists, that Is, persons who are so intensely
in earnest in their folly and ignorance
that the sane world laughs, just as We
laugh at the fellow who falls on the ice;
he is not hEmorist by forethought. he is
only fellow in ridiculous and mirth-
provoking situation. The vituperation.
the vuigarity, the stupidity, solemn ig-
norance and barbaric arrogance of the
average Populist convention makes the
world ripple with laughter.
There is one thing, however, more
amusing than an average convention of
natursl-born Populists. and that is the
presence of a man old enough and bright
enough TO know better than to be found in
such company. The presence OF Col.
Patrick Henry Winston at the North
Yakima Populist convention was exceed
ingiy diverting to those who are person
ally acquainted with this somewhat
notorious political chameleon and hsrle-
quin. The North Yakima Populist con-
yention naturally distrusted Col. Winston,
because he had so recently become an in
mate of their political madhouse that they
thought he was feigning insanity. For
four years Col. Winston had been Re-
publican Federal officeholder, drawing
SIC, 900 for his nominal services as United
States district attorney; during the cam
paign of 1892 Col Winston was conspicu-
Gus for his energetic denunciation aud
ridicule OF the doctrines of the Popuhst
party. As soon as Col. Winston was sue
ceeded by Democrat he ceased denounc-
ing Populism. and all at once turned Pop
ulist himself. The Populists were natur-
ally suspicious of his sincerity, as sus-
picious as the Bourbon Democracy were in
h.
of New York city succeeded in nomin-
ating Horace Greeley rs the Democratic
candidate for the presidency. The Bour-
bon Democracy found ii difficult to forget
that for nearly thirty years Horace Greeley
had dashed the back OF the Democratic
party with his bull-whip in the columns
of the New York Tribune, saying that
while he did not believe that every Dem
ocrat was a horsethief, every horsethief
was Democrat" The consequence was
that the Bourbon Democracy sulked in
their tents and Grant was reelected by an
unprecedented majority. The sincere and
solemn mono-maniaes who compose the
Popuust party have not forgotten that
Col. Patrick Henry Winston in 1892 dashed
the pro,uhersut fundamentals OF the Pop-
ulist party with merciless satire; that so
long as there was any money in il Col.
Winston never grew weary Of making
faces al the Populist party; that as soon
as Col. Winston ceased to De a stipendiarv
OF the Republican party Re began TO
smooth the fur Of the irate Populist cat.
This feeling on the part OF the Populist
party is, OF course. entirely natural, and
yet Il may be quite a. unjust as the sas-
pleions entertained OF Horace Greeley by
the Bourbon National Democracy Of 1872.
The trouble with the Popullst party is
that they do not know Col. Patrick Henry
Winston as well as the Republicans do,
whose psps he has 50 industriouslv
sucked. The Popullsss do not compre-
bend that Col. Winston IS really humor-
Isl and sane man. who is in politics Tor
revenue only; to him political parties are
nothing but horses 10 ride. Col Winston's
Southern eArpetoagser political morality
il about az loose a. the sailors theory of
conjugAl fidelity who sang:
-l've spsnkiag vito a. PoFtsmoatA's gate.
Another st G0rce.
An aFan ev-tAwaeY AZ the Care
AID b3ask AZ saint Lueie-"
Col Winston can be political chAme-
leon on very short notice: be take. ais
color from the party upon which he i
traDsisnily sitting. 50 - present. since the
Oregon election, Col Winston locks b'.s.
lie isa nstursl-born pohtissl harlequin.
il not humorist. 80 that be Will probably
snjoy himself ter time in the Popallst
party. iust as = sober man. with a keen
sense Of the ridiculous cannot help laugh
ing Al the alcoholic antics and incohs7ent
talk q = sAtnrnAliA Of drunken iackasses.
Hat tAis, AtieI a tine, must lose its nov
ely; lss power 20 divert him, so that the
ksaaess thing that any cid political friend
Of Col. Winstoa's can Visa hia, "a that be
viii loss his mind too, sad then he vii 10
as absolutely happy as an inebfiate is
among the drunken. or IS a sedlAmiss IS
Ia a msd house.
None Of Co. Wlasion's old ptitsesl
friends are malevoleHt % reseatfuI enough
60 wish him 10 remain a PopalIss ard re-
tain his sanlty, IL he remains sane he
I'll be looked apoa BY ais new Popalls,
TRENDS IS = crank ~ an srtfal demaForus.
There Is oniy ons var Ia which Col.
Winston can heps - command the coat
asnoe Of his nss Papnlisi PARTY aud come
10 tie sroals lie Eaass os a. faa u lido.