Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1894-10-27
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JcsTS AND YARNS az FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Always Unreliable. quite Shook.
Ing. Where Money Flies. 0uard.
ID Answer, Etc., Etc., cte.
ALWAYS UNRELIABLE.


ID Answer, Etc., Etc., Etc.
ALWAYS UNRELIABLE.
Wife, must go to the doctor; I
fear | We got dropsy. | weigh $50
pounds.
Husband Where were you
weighed
Wife-On your coal scales.
Husband-Theh don't worry, your
weight is normal Truth.
QUITE SHOCKING.
Stewart-Miss Milford Is a very
magnificent girl.
barley (who is jealous)-I have
heard that she shocks every one she
meets.-[Truth.
WHERE MONEY FLIES.
''Our cash aystem here lie the latest
improved" said the dapper clerk ut
the necktie counter; "we do not
keep you waiting moment for your
change, as the money Is shot forward
and back by pneumatic tubes"
Eyes, I know" answered the meek
customer, sadly; "this Is the place
my wife comes to blow In all my
money."-TPuck.
IN TIE WHITE MOUNTAINS.
"Bv Jove, what n superb view
there Is from here !" said wilkins.
Yes" said Dawkins. ''Tell me
one Of your jokes now, will you? I
fancy / could see 1t up here"
GUARDED ANSWER.
Possible Purchaser-Now, is this
mule perfectly gentle?
Uncle Mose-Wcll, Sab, I ncbbah
knowed him to bite anybody yit.-
Cincinnati Inquirer.
A HELpMATE.
where's yer daddy9"
"He's ploughin'."
can where's yer mammyP"
"Makin' him plough"
COLD FLOODED.
Miss Underhill-I have been told
that you are poor. i think We had
better break our relations.
Stewart-I have broken mino al.
ready.
Trivvet-I went fishing yesterday.
Dicer-Get any bites?
Trivvet-Only one; but l shot the
dog.
FAITHLEss BUT KIND.
Wool-Hicks must think a good
deal OF his wife.
Van Pelt-What makes you think
so?
Wool-For five years he has kept a
cat ut the office to eat the cup cus-
tards his wife made for his lunch.
HE WAS A SAWYER.
1t was quite merry at tht Cass
Avenue boarding.house table as the
four.dollar-a-week wit and wassail
went around the board, but the new
boarder had little part In tho festivi.
ty. He seemed TO DO nice man,
and the landlady wanted to make II
pleasant for him.
Hasn't Mr.. Binks anything to say
on tho subject?" she said, addressing
him.
NOM" blushed the new boardcr
who was iudustriously engaged in ut.
tempting to sever the piece OF beef
steak on his plate.
"Oh," she twittered, "you Away.
saw wood, do your"
NOM" he responded, shrinking
~, sometimes beefsteak, and ,
great hush fell upon tho scene.
detroit Free Press.
REALISM IN ART.
Little Visitor (pointing to a larg'
oil portrait)-Whose picture IL that
Little Hostess-She was my nam
mas great-aunt. ! never heard mucl
about her, but Igusss she was
school teacher.
"Why"
"See how her eyes follow u,
about."-[Toronto Mail.
AN IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION.
II want the EARTH" he once di,
state;
His greed somewhat relaxes,
Whene'er he stops to calculate
The trouble with the taxes.
Washington Star.
HAD TAKEN 1T TO PLEASE.
81 want an apple" said Tommy,
you've just had one" said hi
mamma.
~ know at" said Tommie, "bu
IL wasn't the one l wanted"
HARD TO BEAR.
Mrs. Do Style (fond OF novels)-
Did you do as ! directed, and tel
everybody who called that ! was on
gagged?
Domestic-No one called, mum.
'What Not one?"