The record-union., 1894-06-20
A FAMOUS WIT.
some Amusing Stories of Great New
England Lawyer.

Some Amusing Stories of n Great New
England Lawyer.
A Harvard student, seeing Henry w.
Paine, the great New England lawyer,
reading a volume of the Massachusetts
reports IN Cambridge street car one
day, said:
"Why, Mr.. Paine, am surprised to
SEQ that you find it necessary 10 read law
in q horse-car."
II am not reading law" was the reply.
II ain reading the decisions of the Su-
preme Judicial Court OF Massachusetts
Mr.. Paine had ready wit, and many
amusing stories are current among his
legal brethren illustrating his qulckness
aud felicity OF retort. One OF the best eX-
amples was the noted reply he made to
an eminent Massachusetts Judge, who
interrupted him when he was making an
argument in court with a remark which
would have thrown d less self-possessed
man Oft his balance.
''aIr Paine. you know that is not law"
said the Judge.
II know it, your honor" replied the
advocate with a deterential bow, but it
was law till your honor spoke"
Being one day saluted by the name of a
lawyer whose reputation was badly be-
smirched he told the person who had
made the blunder who he was.
"Pardon me-" said the stranger; 81
took you for Mr.. D.
II excuse you.n said Mr.. Paine, "but
hope the devil won't make the same mis-
take"
one of his most felicitous sayings was
MS indirect but cutting rebuke OF mill
ionaire client who had called one day to
consult him. Mr.. Paine had just sent his
colored servant to a bank with $500 or
more Of bank notes, which the teller OF
the bank, in paying some railroad cou-
pons, had overpaid. MIR. Paine's client,
on hearing him narrate this incident, ex-
claimed: "W hat did you send back the
money for? You are fool. l wouldn't
have done it. The banks never rectify
mistakes" Why" quietly replied Mr..
Paine, II happen to labor under slight
misfortune. L have to shave myself, and
| shouldn't like to look in the glass every
morning and see a scOundrel."
When he was attorney for kennebec
County, Maine, man whom he indicted
for arson was tried and acquitted on the
ground that he was an idiot. After the
trial the presiding Judge, suspecting that
the prosecuting attorney was dissatisfied
with the verdict, sought TO reconcile him
to it by some consolatory remarks. "Oh,
l am quite satisfied, your honor, with the
prisoners acquitJal.' was the reply; she
has been tried by a jury of his peers"
OF prodigious learning in the law,
Henry William Paine was also a broad,
general reader. His memory was as
tonishing. In truth he was living il
lustration of answered requirements
which the old masters attached to the pro-
fession of the law. ''rhe sparks of all
the Sciences" said Sir Henry Finch, ARE
raked up in the ashes of the law" Chitty
tells the law student that he must not
only master the law itself. but I'LL UP his
leisure hours with the study OF anatomy,
physiology, pathology. surgery, chem
istry, medical Jurisprudence and police.
"Ours,' wrote William Writ to a friend
sixty years ago, sis not profession in
which men gets along by hop. skip
and jump. It is the steady march OF a
heavy-armed legionary soldier"
A popularity of the great advocate was
the smallness of his charges-in many
cases their ridiculous smallness-in COM
parison with those of other lawyers of
equal ability.-Chicago News