davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
HUMOROUS.

--'John. dear, said Mrs Hicks, I'm
making a shirt for the heather Come
here and let me ct il on you, will
your"
How about Mr.. Jingles. our new
ueighbor: he is a number one husband,
isn't hep" ''oh, dear, no; he's number
four. anyway. "-Inter-occan.
My muvver, she's French. she il.
bat I'm English, an SOS my fsrver.
AN what's yer little sister Dunno
she can't talk yet"-Judy.
-willie-"Auntie. what is meant bv
unanimous consent in congress?
Aunt sarah-"when Their all talkin' 20
wun'set" Cleveland Plain Dealer.
-Teaeher-"And ,one thing more
Always say what you think or keep
silent" Pupil-"But suppose should
become a lawyer" Teacher--''Thsts
different Boston Transcript
-wife-"Have Won snoticed what
beautiful blue eyes our new pastor
has?~ Husbznd--''How could u He
keeps his eyes closed when he prsys.
aud / keep mine closed when be
breaches Hello.
Mrs Dukane-''The newspaper has
an article which says that IN Russia .
spiBster j. curiosity" Mr.. Duksne-
Wen. there's q good deal Of curiosity
about spinsters in this country, too -
Pittsburgh Chronicle.
MIRA slorum with ss as:enp. 81
w,ariaess ~ have to max. . lot Of
stupid calls this izfternooa- Mr.
slscum-"weii. hos nueh did Il cost
this tIrnes7 What why, your new
AIT, Of course. Detroit Trssgn>-
WHY. maana. you've got . gray
hair in your bang Yes. dear. That
came because yea were 90 naughty
yesterday" 20 rszzna. xha; .
naughty lit;le girl you nus. have been
10 grandma. All her hair IL gray
The merit gown ] shall issue.'
said the ladies taller. will bs the ri.
amph OF the century ''fndeet. Sssd
his hun BILE assistant. Yea. indeed
II viii % insozsisss - tel fsou ~
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

your foot was" was the reply.
Then she tried on Oxfori Is from No.
s's to No. As. and from an A to d
last She couldn't walk without hob
bling. Then she went back to buttons
and tried the line all over again with
out avail A No. So on a d last was
evidently fit for her foot. The clerk
said it fitted like a glove. but she pulled
it off and whispered to her friend:
Don't you think the goods in stock
have shrank?"
Likely as not"
''Or walking around on my foot has
swelled it?"
81 shouldn't wonder,
''Will you take this pair?" asked the
clerk, as he held them up.
II think not. We are Just look
ing around, you know. We may come
in again. Very much obliged to you. y
They started to go out, but turned
aside to see some slippers and were
eighteen minutes inspecting them and
asking prices. Then they went over
and looked at some baby shoes and put
in twelve minutes more. They had
reached the door when they saw a sign
of ''Rubbers at cost" and stopped and
overhauled about fifty pairs and con-
sumed fifteen minutes further time.
When they finally reached the street,
the one who had tried on the shoes
said to the other:
I'VE must remember this place SO
as not to come here again. You saw
for yourself that the people have no
accommodation about them
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
THE INCREASE OF SANITY,

If you want to kill man entice your
victim to Chicago and then slaughter
him at your leisure, openly or other
wise, as you prefer, either with bullets,
poison or sandbag. Having done up
your man, If by any slip G Chicago jury
should fail to clear you, as they dIdn't
Coughlin, or by mistake find you guilty
as they did Prendergast, after sentence
adopt the insane dodge and any jack-leg
lawyer will find one of any dozen judges
who will knock your scaffold higher
than Gilderoy's kite. One of the men who
ran for judge in Chicago last fall was
the driver of a bakers wagon.
In the Prendergast farce it is now
held by Chicago legal lights tina: stay
of execution annuls the sentence. Of
course it does in Chicago. That town is
full Of courts of many degrees and there
is no doubt that it would be but mat
ter of dollars and cents and the influence
of the gang to prove that Carter Harri-
son, if ever such a man lived at all, died
of kidney trouble or otherwise by the
disease which they proved that Cronin
died of, and that he was not murdered
at all. In Chicago it is not the thing TO
hang any man who is mean enough TO
kill anybody. Murder in Chicago is
prima facia evidence Of innocent insau-
ity. As an insane man can neither be
hung nor imprisoned, the judges there
hold that it would be inhuman to con-
fine man who knows as much as Prem
dergast in an insane asylum.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
OKLAHOMA OUTLINES.

Many cyclone cellars are being built
near Perkins.
A hotel man at Enid has been arrested
for beating his wife.
Uncle Sam is thinking of buying the
federal jail in Guthrie.
Tue Guthrie Capital is advertising an
eclipse of the sun at Guthrie April ).
Governor Renfrow spends about as muck
time at Norman as he does in Guthrie.
The Cross Resident warns farmers lot
to burn the dead grass off their claims.
Pond Creek aud Round Pond appear TO
have pushed En:d from tie middle of the
stage.
The EsgleGazette Is calling for re-
sumption of work On the college at Still
water.
A great many bids on the school lands
were made by spectators who will not
qualify.
EdInsle asks al, the farmers in CIeve-
land county to give their farms name.
Ii IS good custom
The first thing be knows Dennis Flynn
may succeed IN getting an Oklahoma
statehood bill through.
Somebody calls AcMasters' Weekly "a
red hot journal" Such q thing hss been
known 10 wreck a train
The Choctaws appointed a committee 10
meet and treat with the Coited States
commissioners yesterday.
Wheeler OF Alsbams should be ssatted
on the neck for stirring mp the capital
fight in Oklahoma al this time.
Charles Taylor OF Perry has been arrest
ed for rape according 70 the Guthrie
Leader. The accQser is q eiri named Goff
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
BEING INDoRSaD.

The Leavenworth Times appeared yes
terdsy with reproduction of thirty
four editorial Endorsements of George
w. Martin for governor. The day be-
fore the Times contained nearly as many
for Hoch. Heizer's turn comes next,
but when Morrill's turn will come in the
Times we are too much in doubt to make
any definite promise. However, there
Is no installing the genuine earnestneSs
of the Endorsements published by the
Times. Such deserved Communications
of these worthy two are very encourag-
ing to that class of men who give so
much OF the best thought of their lives
for the principles of their party.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

cabin was-but no, Tacitus describes
the Germans as living in log cabins.
New England was progressive. and
yet its people gathered their wood for
fuel during the winter before the snow
fell, whereas, on sleds they could have
done it with far moro ease, and it was
not until about the year 1890
that sleds began to be used in
New England. Tho old-fashioned
Maryland Virginia house, with
a parlor on one side, dining-room on
the other and the wide hall running
through the house from end TO end be-
tween them, many of them still stand
ing, was but an imitation of the old
double log cabin-'twO pens and .
passage'-of the earlier colonists- The
furniture OF the older colonists Of the
richer class came mostly from England.
and now there are enough old cradles
in New England that came over in the
Maynower to fill many such ships. But
the furniture of the poorer class was
hewed out of wood, made into rude
benches, stools, tables, etc Carpets
being extremely rare in those days.
every thrifty housewife had her floor
nicely sanded, in which figures were
drawn for decoration.
The very rich colonists ate from
gold and silver plates. the middle
class from pewter, aud the lower classes
from wooden trenchers, and frequent
~ the food was brought in on nothing
but fiat wooden blocks. Not until
the revolution was porcelain used to
any extent. Forks were not used at
all in America until after the frst half
of the seventeeth century. Coffee and
tea were not used in America among
the earlier colonists. Milk was not 70
be found in winter. because no care
was taken Of the cattle. and the wome n
and children drank'cider. birch and root
beer and the like. Everything OF corn
came from the Indians-the planting
in hills, the putting Of a fish in each
hill as fertilizer, the cooking Of il.
The words succotash. pone and hominy
are all Indian words. The 'hoe-cake'
was baked by the Indians on hot rocks,
by the colonists on . hot hoe-hence its
name Everything was highly h
yored. "
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
COLONIAL DAYS ~ AMERICA.
war 60 on

From the New York Ledger.
IN his lecture recently on Domestic
and Social Life Before the Revolution,
DR.. Eggleston said that the present
generation looked upon the old colonial
folk as quite superior to the people OF
to-day in many respects They mad
the reputation OF being larger, drawer,
more courtIy men. and purer, more
chaste and more beautiful women
They had many virtues, those Old
colonists, but with them all. the
world has grown better, more refined,
more full Of genuine courtesy than IN
their day. The men are as brave and
strong. the women as chsste md beau
tiful. History records, said the leetur-
er. The great deeds OF the great men
OF the colonies and the revolution. but
not the ordinary social life of the
period That Is only 20 be learned
from many sources. never collected To-
gether.
Man is historical brute. said Hr.
Eggieston. and ausi follow his an
cessors~ The coIonists, he said. in
vented little. their utensils. furniture,
houses. cooking. etc, were limitations
or adaptations OF those Of tie English
or The Indian Necessity Is not the
mother Of inrention. bat Of Imitation
and adaptation The man inpeled By
necessity has 10 tine 20 invent there
fore he initiates The houses Of the
early colonists were mostly OF bark. Ia
imitation OF those OF the Indian AZ
one time. of the tairty houses in New
York. tsventy-nine we're Of bark ssre-
IL. If anything was American the log
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
About to Dissipase.

vegetarian-Alvira. where are The
blue goggles2
His Wife-Iiere they are. What dc
you want Of them7
II want 10 wear them. Now tie this
scarf about my neck clear Sp. 10 my
ears. Pull my hat down over my eyes
That's right Now help me on With
this old overcost I dug out Of the attic
I'm going 20 the butchers 10 buy
porterhonss steak H-Chicsgo Tribune
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

-oh where is the spring. that mysterious thingf
Now ground hogs ali answer together.
With Z animous Shout the gronad hogs sing out.
Postponed on account of tho weathe r.
-
The Empress Elizabeth of Austria, by a
severe system of fasting and exercise. mas
sage, and training like sporting man,
succe eds in keeping her waist measure TO
20 inc hes in spite of her So years.
-
Mr.. Gladstone, as one of his daughters
says, is always very careful To avoid trav-
cling on Sunday, and also to put aside al
secular work on that day and keep him
self to his special Sunday books and
thoughts.
Sir Francis Laking, private physician of
the prince and princess of Wales and the
duke and duchess of Connaught, is
dangerously ill. He holds the Office of
surgeou-apothecary to the queen aud
apothecary to the household. He Was
knighted last summer.
SO
Enormous quantities of United States
beef, says the London Daily News, are
now in the London markets and in the
shops Of the retail butchers. The prices at
which wholesale dealers purchased 1t
were very low, owing to the heavy sup
plies. A dull sale for English and Scotch
beef was a natural consequence. The ex-
cellent New Zealand lamb now cells at the
same price as the best Scotch mutton.
~
Alexander Dumas is as uuashamed as
his father was Of the negro blood that runs
through his veins The bishop of Autun
having recently delivered an address on
the abolition of slavery, N. Dumas wrote
him sympathetic letter, in the course of
which he said "a reader like myself, who
has only to go back four generations to
find negro slaves among his ancestors.
could not remain deaf to this eloquent ap-
peal. 1t il, therefore, not only for our
brothers, from the Christian point of
view, that / thank you. Monseigneur. but
perha ps also for some real relatives whom
/ may still have on board che slave
traders vessels"
"W. c. 2. Breckenridge deserves all the
reputation he has for his readiness and
facility" said veteran Washington cor
IeSpouucHt. IT Is pcTlcStiy tfuc tudt uc
can speak well and without special prepar-
alton on almost any subject, aud the
trouble is that be does. What L mean is
that is undeuiably poser. He loves to
speak to full gallery. and will often,
when the galleries are crowded, make one
OF his short, effective little speeches.
whether he Is programmed TO do SO or not.
His conspicuous attitudes, high. clear,
penetrating voice, shock of silver hair and
beard, inform everyone when the Brock
inridge has the floor.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
shape that there In . woman In IL at
Ill u-T~A,auanoIts Iauvnal

shape that there In . woman In IL 81
all. "-Indianapolis Journal.
At banquet that attended not
long ago. the gentleman in charge OF
the dinner tickets went up to the lead
er of the vocaliSts who were To enter
tain the guests with songs, with this
inquiry: How many Of you are there
in your quartetY"-Boston Herald.
-Sayso-''Those who love books al.
most invariably love dogs That Is q
rule with. think, Few exceptions :"
Nowitt-"I am one Of the exceptions :"
Sayso-"You love books and hate
dogs?" INTELLECTUALLY" Sayso-
THAT is strange" Nowitt-"Not in
the least; an book agent. q 8.
S. s. Co. Bulletin
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
GREAT foae,on cAAaAcrras.

AxrHrs BAISorn, the BsislsA polss-
icaI iesdx. occupies hts Issssz. viii
invesssgstions % hypnotisE ss1 ess@
subjects Of psyehiesi research
n RAYxAI- tes new rniaiss<r % he
interior In The casinir- Psrt<s essznsa
% Psrss. a. The srss HEBREW 90 bod -
Important eseines raax - rssseaL
Ma MILE Sa.ss sAs-uRxs 10 again
tied down in Engiss1 -ssh her ehli-
dren- Her sa;her-ir-ls~ iefs her pru2-
er.y that realizes thirty shou>saa del.
lsrs q year.
Fxrx DAxs. the German hlsso~is.,
lawyer ssd yosS srcsstly celebrated
his ssxtsesh birthday In E-s<sa. lie
resolved eSn9rsssissory esnnaas~s-
ssoss fress eslshssssd - sk - en-
nm.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL CON-
VENTICN.

a delegate convention of the Republicans
of the Seventh congressional district of the
state of Kansas is hereby called to meet in the
oity of Newton on Thursday, May 3rd. 1884 at
y M. for the purpose OF nominating candl-
date Tor congress.
The basis OF representation IN said conven-
ton shall be one delegate-at-large for each
county in the district, and one delegate for
each 30 votes and major fraction thereof east
for Chester l. Long for congress in 1892; pro-
vided no county shall have less than two dele
gates under which rule delegates are appor-
toned 10 the several counties as follows:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
WANTED THE WAR TO GO ON.

From the Chicago Inter Ocean.
The nearest friends of Opie Read, the
novel writer, would not suspect that
he had achieved military rank. He is
most unmilitary-lo man, who
can not be induced to wear so much OF
gaudy trapping as printed badge on
any occasion no matter how great
Besides, with the exception that he
was born in Tennessee and lived sew.
eral years in Kentucky and Arkansas,
it is not generally known that there is
any reason why he should have mill
tary title.
But Read was once a major under
commission in military service.
What was known as the "Perryville
war" in Arkansas in 1882, was a riotous
strike that had to be controlled by the
state militia. A large body Of the ma
tional guard was sent to the scene I'M
der command of Gen. Bob Newton, and
these troops were encamped there sew
eral weeks.
Opie Read, who was then q reporter
for Little Rock daily newspaper, was
sent to the front as that journals
official correspondent in the field, and
being close friend of the commanding
officer, that gentleman sent for Read,
and in order to give him the comforts
and advantages of headquarters, ap-
pointed him to be major and aide-de-
camp, with all the honors and emolu-
ments pertaining to such position.
Of course Maj: Read paid no atten-
ton to anything like personal military
service, and doubtless slept soundly
long after ''reveille," and played poker
and wrote his newspaper letters with
out regard to tattoo" and taps"
One day during the war" Read had
been writing one of his letters for the
Daily Gazette in Gen. Newton's mar
quee and was in the act of folding and
enveloping it to send away in the mail
when the general said to him:
Here, want to read that letter be-
fore it goes"
You read it?" queried the news
paper major.
Eyes, sir. I want to see If it con.
tains anything contraband of war"
it."
II demand it, sir, as your superior
officer"
81 don't care what you demand. You
can't see that letter until it is printed
in the paper"
I'll have you court-martialed for
INSTRUMENTATION, Mai. Reed"
During this dialogue Gen. Newton
had maintained a very serious face,
and he fairly bristled with military
dignity.
Read began to regard the matter Sc
reriously also, as GEN Newton was
usually jolly and unconventional.
To the last remark of the officer the
cores pendent replied interrogatively:
'Court-martial me? How can you
have me court-martialed?'
To which Gen. Ne wton replied:
You are major. sir. and aide-de.
camp on my staff, under pay of s. per
day from the state by virtue Of this
commission presenting parchment
rolD, and vet you refuse to obey my or
ders, and | am commandment here. |
shall prefer charges and have you
court-rnartialed, sir"
That was the first intimation Read
had received that he was On any other
payroll than that of tho newspape he
was serving. But now he biurted out:
"Say, Bob, am to get s. day as
major on your staff?'
That is you r pay" said Gen Bob.
Read broke out all over in big and
audible smiles. pushed the manuscript
across the table toward the officer. and
said:
Take the stuff. Read /. and lsi -
war GO on
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
REPUBLICAN CALL.
For the State Convention to be Held at
Topeka June 9.

The formal call for the Republican state
convention has been issued signed by the OF
ficers of the state central comE>ittee' as Ioi-
A delegate convention Of the Republicans OF
Kansas will convene in the city OF Topeka,
" ednesday. the 9Th day OF June. iss4, at y
o'clock. m. for the nomination or candid tes
for associate justice Of the supreme court,
governor, lieutenant governor, secretary OF
state, auditor of state: treasurer OF slaIe, az
so-ney general. superintendent OF pubic IN
ktrncffon. Said convention VIII also nomln-
sta a candidate for congressman lat large.
Delegates TO this convention snail De tiec,ed
nv county conventions duly called by the sew
raj county Republican committees under
snch rules and regulations as may De by tn mem
nrescribe,i. The basis of appointment OF cele-
rates TO said state convention VIII pe one
feieqate-at-large for each county OF the state
and one delegate for every zOo votes, or lrac-
rion of 100 or more votes, cast Tor W. =. Eu-
,rerds for secretary of state in the election OF
1s92. no county to have less than TWO dele
gates:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Janauschek says the prize ring sup
plies the male stars of the modern stage
and the divorce courts the female stars.
However this is no excuse for Janau-
schek to remain on the stage many more
canfnries
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

The ground hog has appeared again to
announce that spring has been post
poned on account OF the weather. The
lamb that came in with march swal-
lowed the lion and died OF over-much
confidence and indigestion.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Morrill, and Martin are both tearing up
the gubernatorial race track turf in a
lively manner, and while Mr.. Hoch is
minding his P's and Q's he might also
keep an eye on the Ms.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Governor Hogg did not mince his
words 10 calling down those railroad
officials. The man who can censure the
railroads and at the same time feel an
annual pass bullying out of his coat
pocket IS indeed great
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Mr.. o'Af,lley-Kitty. Oh m soin' e
get some foirs-insuranee an me loife
Mrs. o'Mslley-Foire-ins1rsncs' For
tn love Az hivin. phwas for7
Mr.. o'Mziley-Phwy, 50 many q" IN
min are bein' discharged down 20 ID
mill, tina. Oh wan. 20 10 prepared uh's
moi turn cornesi-Puck-
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

We should be sustained and soothed
By the thought that the man who has
been reporting yearly so long that the
peach crop was ruined has at last been
forced to tell the truth.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

The eclipse of the sun April 3 will not
be visible in this part of the world.
These kind of eclipses are like boil or
the back of your neck-you can't see it,
but Won have evidence that it is there.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

1t is recommended that the county central
committees of the several counties select the
lime for holding the county conventions to
name delegates and siternates for the con-
eressional convention, and that the names of
all delegates and alternates be certified 10 the
secretary of this committee Immediately
thereafter.
BY order of Seventh district congressional
committee
MORGAN CARAwAY, Chairman.
L. NJ. AxLINE, Secretary.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Up to date Derby, Kan, and Spooker-
ton, Ind, are the only places in the
United States that have not been men,
toned in connection with the coming
Corbett-Jackson fight
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

The secretaries of tie several county con-
yenfions are requested To forward 10 the I'M
dersigned chairman al Topeka, Kansas a GER
lifted copy of the credentials of the several
delegates Immediately upon the adjournment
of the county conventions. said Credentials TO
De received at Topeka not later than the morn
ing of June 4th. The credentials should show
he postoffice address Of each delegate. From
the credentials the Republican state central
committee viii prepare roster of those en-
Titled to participate in the preliminary Or
ganiZa tion of the convention.
BY order of the committee.
FRANK l.. BROWN, j. M. SIMPSON,
Secretary Chairman.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Certain indelicate parts in the sensa-
tional novel. ga Yellow Aster," will be
cut out in the second edition. Which
means that it will cease to be sensa-
tional
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

The women of Kentucky demand
Breckinridge's impeachment, but the
women Of Buffalo, New York, appear 10
think that Cleveland is suffering enough
in his present capacity.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30
n. a.s~r, psr.sa

II suppose you have be~n shoppfne
all DAY again" said ur. snAgTs % hss
wife at the supper table
And suppose yos have ben Sssa'
et-shopying again" resrted shs--
Pf,tstursh Chroeseie.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

PrendergaSt should keep cool at pres
snt. lie may soon be in place where
he can not.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

Bob Ingersoll has again hit the nail on
the head. He says there is only air
enough between the north pole and the
Isthmus of Panama to float one flag.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-03-30

st. Gaudens has again submitted his
medal to congress with a fig leaf amend
ment.