Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1894-09-27
A MATRIMONIAL VENTURE.
Lieut.. G. De II. Browne. |

CIT was the old, old story But, as a
matter of Introductory fact, this
tale throughout is of character
very commonplace. Mr.. Jacob
Whitman wanted wife.
In seeking, however, for part
ner with whom to share his name, lib
erty and other Entertainments, he resort
ed to the not unprecedented but some
what unconventional method of pub
fishing his craving in the newspapers
of San Francisco. Moreover, the adver-
tisement was not hidden away in that
wearisome labyrinth of type popularity
termed the "want ads,' but in bold
face occupied at least ten squares of
display. 1t read:
II WANT A WIFE.
81 am 35-year-old. a thoroughbred
and square. | own 1000 cattle, 900
horses, have $50, 900 sunk, and, barring
billiards, mothers and other visitations
of glorious climate, shall never tight
en- the cinch strap for hunger. Morally
l am on the fence. l drink when 1
please and swear at the cattle, but l
would not swear at woman. That's
all. Where is the woman? She must
be under 25 and show up registered
pedigree. JACOB WITHAM,
But Mr.. Witham's aspiration, pro-
claimed beyond all n1isinterpretation,
was destined to be considered by an in
dividual manifestly unsuited to it's re-
quirements. In cosy parlor within
the aristocratic limits of San Francisco
it had caught the eye of one Frederick
Weldon, and to that gentleman IS hand
some features it brought a smile of
amusement. Possibly he was contrast
ing the advertisers position with his
own-he was being entertained by a
young girl of admirable wifely antici-
pations. And yet such was not the ex-
act trend of his thoughts. Miss Doro-
thy Halstead was very pretty girl and
withal charming. Moreover she was,
at that moment, seated beside him on
a low sofa, and her dainty head seemed
as if created by nature to rest confiding-
ly on some strong, male shoulder. But
San Francisco was graced with many
of her kind. They were all attractive;
he loved the sex.
But in Mr.. Witham's announcement,
which he had carelessly lifted from a
table at his elbow, Fred discerned an
opportunity for possible diversion, and
he extended it to his companion.
"Let's apply" was his suggestion.
Miss Halstead smiled.
81 am only 49," she returned. 81
can wait year or two longer before re-
sorting to such desperate MEANS"
Fred was on his knees (metaphorical-
ly) at once.
sDolly! Miss Dollyp' he CALCULATED,
reproachfully.
But his assumption of tender depre-
cation elected only light, ripping
laugh. 1t is to be feared that the
young girl deemed all such courteous
platitudes her just tribute. Nor need
it be stated with what equally specious
phrases she diverted the conversational
bark into other channels; suffice to say
that she exhibited the skill of an adept.
Meantime, however, Fred retained
the newspaper, and after a brief inter
val he again asked:
"Why not answer it? I'll write the
letter and you copy it. Then Well in
close the photo of an actress-if you can
find one consistent with his idea of a
registered pedigree'-and await re-
suits"
Again Miss Halstead laughed, but ii
was only musical murmur, manifest
ing little appreciation; she even APP
peared somewhat bored by his persist
ency. Nevertheless she rose and pro-
cured the materials requisite for cores
pOndence.
"But what name will 1 sign?" she
asked, when at last it had been copied
"You might use composite" was
Dorothy Weldon"
The young girl colored and lowered
her eyes. But she accepted the sug-
gestion, and over such pseudonym was
the letter sent.
AS an epistolary precursor of future
hymeneal joys it was masterpiece-ol
so, at least, Fred averred. 1t was to be
presumed that the unknown Mr.. With.
am was cattle baron. e. cowboy
on whom fortune had smiled-there
fore. all stilted elegance of phraseology
was avoided Moreover, the gentleman
appeared to desire a wife considerably
his Junior and for that reason certain
maidenly coyness and naivete wert
necessary. But Fred was equal to the
task. 'NIiss" Weldon was ashamed
almost afraid, to address Mr.. Witham
She was alone, however, and with ne
one to advise; was what people vulgar
1y termed ''shop" girl. She had also
been told that gentlemen in his walk
of life retained much of that chivalri'
element of disposition long since ex