Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-03-09
A LIMITED HONEYMOON.
A Would Be Bridegroom Declares His
Prospective Plans.

| A would Be Bridegroom Declares Hi
Prospective Plans.
His back was bumped up, his knees bad
ly sprung, and there was squeak in his
voice as he fondly smoothed down his lone
goatee and inquired:
Stranger, could you tell that I'd Jest
paid so cents to hev these whiskers dyed
Jest stand off and squint at 'em and gimme
an honest answer"
Eyes, could tell that they had been
dyed" replied.
so could /, but that's all right. Got my
HAIR dyed at the same time. How old would
you take me to bes"
well, about So"
THAT wos my obieck-to deceive the
public in gineral and the Widder Spicer in
pertickler. Pm 70 years DID,"
You have an object them" asked.
Il hev Pm goin to git married."
mop
THAT is, if the wilder fills the bill I'm
goin down to Skinnersville today to see her
II she fills the bill, she's my jaybird to love
and cherish; If she don't, she's somebody
else's jaybird. What dye think of an old
chap OF u shinin up to a wilder of 2Sf"
such matches generally bring trouble. -
Yes, s'pose they do, and the old chaps
are ginerally to blame fur it, l left all the
children cryin around, and the last thing
my oldest gal said was that I'd be finan-
shually wrecked in three months. All of
'em figger that the wilder is after nv
money and that she'll make the dollars fiy
like feathers"
but you don't think so?"
Not this evenin, stranger. When wild
der picks this old mossback up fur IL fat,
she's bound to git left. had a farm. but
I've put it outer my hands. had a hired
gal dom the work, but I've let her 70. |
had three cows to milk, and I've bought
two more"
1.-THE widow will have plenty of work,
chr"
"More'n hundred pounds Of carpet rags
waitin to be sewed," whispered the old man
as he drew down his eye. "Seven of us to
cook. wash and mend fur Cellar hain't
bin whitewashed fur three years, and all
the house has got to be cleaned I've
throwed the we'll pump away and gone
back to a rope and bucket, and it's comm
on time to dry pumpkins, smoke meat and
pick the geese"
"She won't have much of honeymoon,
I suggested.
Bridal tower is goin to be Just eight
miles longl'' he said as he winked the other
eye. 1--WE got it all planned, and the cost
is Sl.5O. I've already bought her 10 yards
OF caliker and - pair of shoes, and she
can't hev no excuse to run to the store fur
a year. The only money shall hev about
the house is this 50 cent piece with hole
In 1t. Stranger, look me all over as 7 turn
around"
What's the idea2"
ITO see if any flies hev lit on me while
we've bin talkin."
mo, don't see any,"
u didn't much 'spect you would. Thar
wasn't any on me when left home, though
Pm u years old, and thar won't be any on
me when l stand before that wilder and
offer her my heart and hand Think of
them children a-takin on because that wild
der is goin to wreck me inside of three
months, and then think of the wilder tryin
it on me! Say, stranger"
"Well?"
Jest one word more. I've got seven
hogs in the pen up home, and I'll bet the
hull of 'em agin dollar that instead of the
wilder wreckin me I'll borrow her last
shillin to pay fur gettin my HAIR and whis-
kers dyed up an to fix the preacher who
marries u.s. The children don't know me.
I'm a-gettin wife, hired man, hired gal,
SEWN woman an a mother fur 'em all COM
bined in one, and don't actually believe
the hull expense will amount to over So.
Thar is moss in the woods around here,
stranger, but none GROWN on my spinal
column. Thar is flies a-fyin about this
depot, but you jest notice that none of 'em
stop to light on the undersignedr-
Free Press,