West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-03-15
lyon confcmn sk,tnIsr,

"You condemn sl,tnIsr'
something of by anybody that wears
pants, and when Pa sidled up 10 her and
began talking about what great work
the Christian wimmen OF the land were
doing in educating the heather she felt
real good, and then She noticed PAS posy
In his buttonhole, and she touched il,
and then she reached over her beals to
smell OF it.
''Pa he squeezed the bulb, and about
half teacupful Of water struck her
right IN the nose, and some went into
her strangle place, and, oh, my, didn't
she yell. The sisters gathered around
her, and they said her face was all coy
cred with perspiration and the paint was
coming Off, and they took her in the
kitchen, and she told them Pa had slapped
her with dish OF ice cream, and the
wimmen told The minister and the dea-
cons, and they went To Pa for an expla-
nation, and Pa told them it was not so,
and the minister got interested and got
near Pa, and Pa let the water go at him
anu Int him on the eye, and then dca-
con got dose, and Pa laughed, and then
the minister. who used to go TO college
and he n hazer and boxer, he got mad and
squared off and hit Pa three times right
by the eye, aud one Of the deacons kicked
Pa, and Pa got mad and said he could
clean out the whole shebang and began
TO pull off his coat, when they bundled
him ont doors, and IDA got mad to see
Pa abused, and she left the sociable, and
had to stay and eat ice cream and
things for The whole family. Pa says
that settles il with him. He says they
haven't got any moro Christian charity
IN that church than they havc in a tan
merry His eyes arc just getting over be-
ing black from the sparring lessons. and
now he has got TO 30 through oysters
and beefstcak cure again. He says it is
all owing TO me-"
"Well, what has all this got to do with
your putting up signs in front of my
store, Rotten Eggs and 'Frowy Butter
Speciality" said tho grocery man as he
took the boy by the ear and pulled him
around. You have got an idea you are
smart, and | want you to keep away
from here. The next time catch YOU
in here / shall call tho police and have
you pulled. Now gitr'
The boy pulled his ear back on the side
cigarette and lit it, and after putting
smoke in the face of tho 81 ocery cat that
was sleeping on the cover to the sugar
barrel esaid:
''lf was provision pirate that never
sold anything but what was spoiled go
it couldn't be sold in a first class store,
who cheated in weights and measures,
who bought only wor1ny figs and de.
cayed goldfish, who got his butter from a
fat rendering establishment, his cider
from vinegar factory and his sugar
from q glucose factory, would not in
suit the son Of ono of the finest families.
Why sir, could go out on the corner
and when l saw customers coming here
could tell u story that would turn their
stomachs and send them to the grocery
on the next corner.
Suppose l should tell them that the
cat sleeps iii the dried apple barrel, that
the mice made nests in the prune box
and rats run riot through the raisins, and
that you never wash your hands except
ON Decoration day and Christmas, that
you wipe your nose ON your shirt sleeves
and that you have the itch, do you think
your business would be improved? Sup
pose should tell tho customers that you
buy sourkraut of wooden shoed Pc.
lacker, who makesi it Of pieces Of cabbage
that he gets by gathering swill, and cell
that stuff to respectable people. could
you pay your rent? If / should tell them
that you put lozengers in the collection
plate At church and charge the minister
40 cents pound for oleomargarine, you
would have 10 close up. Old man, ana
onto you, and now you apologize for
pulling my ear"
The grocery man turned pale during
tho recital and finally said the bad boy
was ono Of the best little fellows in this
town, and the boy went out and hung mp
n sign in front:
.'''''''''s.. .s..'.ss sss4s,s...tss...s..s..
GIRL WANTED
TO COOK.
81 10 10