Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1894-05-07
JUST FOR FUN.

plural of forget me- not?' answered
"Forget- US not"
Is jerks in the swim now a. days:
Guess he must be. His best girl has
just throw him overheard.
A little boy was asked what the
Sunday school text was. He ans
wered, "Many are cold, but few are
frozen"
Bragg am a self made man, sir:
[ began life as barefoot boy. jerks
Indeed. Well, I wasn't born with
shoes on, either.
| Deans Rheumatic Pills absolutely cure
Rheumatism & Neuralgia. Entirely vegeta-
| BILE. Safe.
An exchange speaks Of the stamp
Of gentleman. The editor ought to
know that gentleman never stamps.
He applauds with his hands.
Young LadY-Oh! oh! oh! I never
in the world could climb into that
| upper berth. Porter-Just imagine
it's tally-ho coach, ma'am.
Lily White = Did you have many
offers during the summer? Phebe
Bird-Many? Why, I had to limit the
proposal speeches to five minutes!
BUcKLEN's ARN1cA SALvE-The Best Salve
in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers,
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
CURED. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect sat-
iSfactiOn, money refunded. Price % cents
per box. For Sale by H. G. Pierce
Parker left the Scaddlebury re-
ception in a huff" s'Did he? What
was the matter?" ellis hat check was
No. SOP. Parker is one of the 4OO.''
There are some men who ask the
Lord to make them thankful for what
they are about to eat, and then abuse
their wives because the cooking don't
suit
Sunday school teacher-What crime
did Joseph's brothers commit when
they sold him for twenty pieces Of
silver? Practical boy Sold him too
cheap.
Mrs. Winks = Dame Fortune has
been smiling on neighbor Hicks, I hear
Mrs. Jinks-Oh, the horr1d old wretch,
and his poor, dear wife not dead a
month!
Sympathetic Widow = Have you
been fortunate in your love affairs?
Interesting Subject = Yes, very. I
never yet fell in love with girl who
would marry me.
Lanes Family Medicine M owes the Bowel
Most people need to use it Each day.
"Cholly has such habit of telling
all he knows" said one girl eyes"
replied the other, "but it wouldn't be
so bad if he would only make point
of knowing all he tells.''
eyes, breddern, de bizness man wild
no advertisement in de paper reminds
me nightly Oh de humble bee with
out any stinger. He am only half
fixed ter transac bizness''
Mudieson "a budding fictionist)-I
hope you liked my new novel 1t
has happy ending at all events. Miss
Stumbles enthusiastically = Yes: |
was SO relieved when I came to the
last chapter.
The fine art critic had been looking
over the pictures submitted for the
exhibition. "Well, Inquired friend,
"what do you think Of them?" 'sUm-
err" he replied: ''some of them ought
to be hung, and some Of them ought
to be hanged
After trying many remedies for catarrh for
twelve years, I tried Ely's Cream Balm |
with complete success. 1t is over one year
since stopped using it and haven't had re
turn OF catarrh I recommend it to all my |
t. Palm, Reading, Pa.
There is a brakeman on one of the |
northern railroads who shows certain
evidence Of an economical instinct.
When the conductor puts his head in
at one end of the car and calls, Som
erville, the brakeman replies from the
door, "Same here"
''Rabbi, who is happier, the man
who owns million dollars or he who
has seven daughters?" The Rabbi:
''The one who has many daughters. -
''Why SOP" "He who has million
dollars wishes for more: the man
who has seven daughters does not.o
"What is your line of business?''
the editor to man he was
about to introduce to Northern CAPT.
talists. II hauls furniture," huskily
came the reply. "Here, gentlemen"
continued the editor, els Mr.. Jones.
one Of the moving spirits of our city"