davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
JANE JONES.

Jane Jones Aseps a-whisperin to me All Il.
time
An says: .why don't you mako 1T a rule
Tc study your lessons an work hard an lear
An never be absent from school?
Remember the story OF Elihu Burritt,
How he clumb up to the top,
dot all the knowledge at he ever had
Down in the blacksmithin shop"
Jane Jones she honestly said it was 30.
Mebbe he did. dunno.
course, what's a-keepin me way from the .or,
Is not never havin no blacksmithin shop.
She said AT Ben Franklin was awfully poor,
But full o. ambition an brains,
An studied philosophy all Us hull life.
An see what he got for his pains.
10 brought electricity out OF the sky
With a kite an the lightnin an key.
30 we're OWN him more'n any one else
For all the bright lights at we see.
Jane Jones she actually said it was SO.
Mebbe he did. dunno.
Course, what's alters been hinderin me
La not havin any kite, lightnin or key.
Jane Jones said Columbus was out at the Efaa
When he first thought up his big scheme,
An all o. the Spaniards IN Italians, too,
They laughed an just said was dream
But Queen Isabella she listen'd to him
An pawned all her jewels o. worth
An bought m the Santa Marier an said,
"Go hunt up the rest of the earth"
Jane Jones she honestly said it was SO.
Mebbe he did. / dunno.
Course, that may all be, but you must allow
They amt any land to discover just now.
Ben King in Southern Magazine.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
The New Jersey senate.

The state of New Jersey is different in
its government system from most others
in this Union. 1t has no lieutenant gov
ernor, therefore no officer who naturally
falls into place as president of the SEN
ate. The senate elects its own president.
The people elect the governor, the gov
ernGr appoints the state treasurer, score
tary of state and other state officials.
The misunderstanding and consequent
formation of two ~senates, both daily,
arose in part from these peculiar fea-
lures of the New Jersey constitution.
The state senate last year was Demo-
cratic. At the fall election a majority
of the newly elected members were Re-
publicans. They expected to take their
seats at the beginning of this year. Here
an issue arose which is comparatively
new in the organization of a state legis-
lature. Acting under the advice of the
attorney general of New Jersey, the
Democratic members of the senate, now
in a minority in consequence of the fall
election, refused to surrender the organ
ization of the new house to the Repub-
lican majority. They claimed that a
state senate was, like the United States
senate, a continuous body" and that
therefore the right to organize the house
and pass on the credentials of members
belonged to them, the Democratic mi
nority.
Both senates organized Republican and
Democratic. Each avowed it would new
er givein. Undoubtedly members of each
body thought they were right. Matters
went on thus for over two months.
There was nothing in the Jersey consti-
tuition to throw light on the matter. 1t
was finally referred to the supreme
court of the state to settle whether a
state senate was like the national one-a
Continuous body"-and whether mem
bers that had been elected out of office
could hold over and organize the new
body and pass on the credentials of new
members. The court decided that they
could not-at least not in New Jersey.
Then the majority party entered into pos
session with the organization they had al
ready perfected. and all's well that ends
well.
The question is, however, an interest
ing n in parliamentary law. The same
question may arise in other states, and
the New Jersey example may now be
cited as a precedent.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

Another wealthy farmer has been rob-
bed of a large sum Of money-$5,OOO
This wealthy farmer was luny enough
to keep the cash in his house. Burglars
got in, seized the rich ruralist and began
burning him by touching him up with
the fame of a lamp. They tortured him
till he was forced to tell them where his
money was hidden, and they got it all.
1t does seem as though some people are
either crazy or else they never read the
newspapers. Time out of mind these
friends of the public have been publish
ing warning stories of how people who
keep large sums of money in their homes
have been tortured and robbed, often
murdered. yet the warning is not needed.
Especially when persons livein smallvil-
lagos and in lonely farmhouses it is moth
ing less than inviting robbery and muir
der to keep so much as 500 in the house.
Even when the money is locked up in a
safe the owner of it can be tortured till
he is forced to reveal the combination
and give up the key.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
olo and Warmth.

The color of materials has some in
duence on the warmth of the clotnIug.
Black and blue absorb heat freely from
without, but white and light shades Of
yellow, etc., are far less absorbent.
This difference can be demonstrated by
experiment. The anne material, when
dyed with different %colors, will absorb
different amounts of heat. In hot coun-
tries white coverings are universally
worn, and sailors and others wear white
clothing in hot weather.
With regard. however, to heat given
off from the body the color Of the ma
terials used as clothing makes little if
any difference. Red flannel is popu-
iarly supposed to be warm, though it is
40 better in this respect thar similar
materials Of equal substance, but white
n gray in color. Dark clothing is best
FOR cold weather, because it more freely
absorbs any heat that is obtainable.-
Fortnightly Review.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
A Famous Wine.

The Emperor Williams present to
Prince Bismarck consisted of a dozen
bottles of the famous Steinberg cabinet
of the great comet year, which is the
finest and rarest wine in the imperial
cellars and remarkable both for its fra
GRANGE and for its strength. The gift is
worthy of the occasion, for all such wine
is absolutely priceless, and it is prob
ably only to be found in the cellars eff
the emperor and of the Duke of Luxem-
burg, except for any stray bottles which
may yet be hidden away in a few coun-
try houses. The old Emperor William
sent half a dozen bottles of the same
wine as a present to the queen in 1887,
and it was brought over by the EN-
peror Frederick, then crown prince,
himself. Fine Rhenish wines get more
and more scarce every year, for there
has not been u really first rate vintage
since 1666.-London World.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
An Affecting Tale.
Barber-Poor Jim has been sent to al
-,o-o c,-1,~

Barber-Poor Jim has been sent to an
insane asylum.
Victim Gin chaireWho's Jim?
"Jim is my twin brother, sir. Jim
has long been broodin over the hard
times, and I suppose he finally got
crazy"
Hum! Not unlikely"
Eyes, he and me has worked side by
side for years, and we were so alike we
couldn't tell each other apart. We both
brooded a good deal too. No money in
this business any more"
"What's the matter with ity'
prices too low. Unless a customer
takes a shampoo or somethin, it doesn't
pay to shave or hair cut. Poor Jim! /
caught him tryin to cut a customers
throat because he refused a shampoo,
and so 1 had to have the poor fellow
locked up. Makes me very melancholy.
Sometimes I feel sorry I didn't let him
slash all he wanted to. It might have
saved his reason. Shampoo, STRIP
eyes, sir."-New York Weekly.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
Sounds Like Boston.

"Hortensia." said her father, will
you have some taters?"
IF you refer to the ~farinaceous tn
bers which pertain of the Solanum tu-
berosum and which are commonly
known as potatoes, P" replied the sweet
girl, IT should be pleased to be helped
to a modicum of the same. But taters,
taters! I'm quite sure, papa, that they
are something of which 1 never before
had the pleasure of hearing"
The old man pounded on the table I'M
til the pepper caster lay down for a rest
and then remarked in a voice Of icy
GOODNESS, "Hortensia, will you have
some taters?"
YES, dad, I will"
Is our boosted high school system a
failure, or is it not?-London Tit-Bits.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
His Love- Text.

The story is related of a bishop who
came to one Of our state prisons and
was told: mo need of you here, sir.
We have eight preachers safely locked
up who are brought out each Sabbath
to minister to their fellow prisoners"
If this appear a doubtful tale, it can be
varied with the following about a young
lady Sunday school teacher who has a
class of rather bright boys averaging
between z and 9 years.
Recently she requested each pupil to
come on the following Sunday with
some passage of Scripture bearing upon
love. The lads needed the request and
in turn recited their verses bearing upon
that popular subject, such as Love
your enemies, Little children, love
one another" etc. The teacher said to
the boy whose turn came last, Well,
Robbie, what is your verse;" Raising
himself up he responded: "Song of Sol
ONION, second chapter, fifth verse, Stay
me with fagons, comfort me with ap-
pies, for I am sick of love.'"-Ex-
change.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
A NOVEL RACING MATCH.
f~oboEganing Down a Run on Rocking
Horses to Decide !. Wager.

~foboEganing Down a F.nn on Rocking
Horses to Decide % Wager.
There is no knowing what an Eng
hsh,nan Will not do to decide a bet
Men have jumped across dining tables.
mounted upon' untractable steeds-yea,
and even kissed their W mothers-in
LAWN order to settle a wager. In fine.
it ought to be an established maxim
among us by this time that, given "A Ger
tain number of impossibiiities and az
equal number of young Englishmen,
those impossibilities will not long re-
main such, provided they be made the
subjects of bets.
One of those incidents which go q
long way toward justifying the reputa-
ton which as a nation of madmen we
have earned among foreigners occurred
at st. Moritz when, lin order to settle
a bet, Lord William Manners and the
Hon. Ell. Gibson agreed to go down the
village run" mounted on rocking
horses in place of ordinary toboggans.
A feature of the race was that both
competitors were ''attired in full hunt
ing kit, and as elaborate preparations
had been made for the contest and ru-
NOR of the affair had been industriously
noised abroad the crowd which had as
sembled to witness it was both large
and distinguished.
The start was fixed for 10 O'Clock.
and shortly before that hour the shouts
of the spectators announced hat the
horses We're off. Unlike the custom in
toboggan races, both started at the same
time. In the first course Lord William
Manners led as far as a certain angle of
the "run" called Casper's Corners, from
the fact that a hotel Of that name is
situated close by, but taking it rather
high Mr. Gibson passed cleverly on the
inside, which he maintained to the fin
ish, " Lord William being summarily
dismissed from his fractions steed's
back some distance to the bad from the
winning post.
In the second course Lord William
Manners again had the advantage as far
as Casper's Corners, where Mr.. Gibson
again tried to pass him on the inside,
but being jockeyed by his opponent his
horse swung round and proceeded down
the run tail foremost, but leading. The
merriment of the spectators at this
stage of the proceedings may be more
easily imagined than described, nor did
it abate i'll the least when Mr.. Gibson,
dismOunting, seized it unceremoniously
by the nose and turned it into the way
it should go.
Meanwhile Lord William Manners
had suffered disappointment a second
time, for in attempting to 'take"-to
use a true hunting term-a particularly
awkward part of the run" called Bel
vedere Corner his horse refused to re-
spond to its riders exertions to get it
successfully over the obstacle, and horse
and jockey came down to the ground in
n tumultuous somersault together.
Lord Williams discontinue proved
to be MI. Gibson's opportunity. The
time and ground that the former had
lost by his involuntary flight through
the air were never recovered. Mr.. Glib
son, with the position of his horse re-
versed and his legs thrust scientifically
in front of him, rode easily and trium-
phantIy forward and eventually reached
the winning post some seconds in ad-
vance of his opponent Alpine Post.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
MOUTH CURVED UP At CORNERS


The world is not SO bad n place
As the growing cynic paints 1t,
And life in the main is fair and sweet
Till selishness mars and taints 1t.
So don't belong to the pessimist crew
And don't be one of the scorners.
Don't go about with u clouded brow
And a mouth drawn down at the corners.
Though fortune seemeth TO frown on you,
Be never you disconnected.
If you put your mouth into rainbow shape.
Pray let the bow be inverted.
Though you be sighted by fortunes pets,
Though you be scorned by the scorners,
Still keep q heart that is brave and strong
And a mouth curved up at the corners.
Don't look on life through a smoky glass.
The world is much as you take it.
Twill yield you back a CLEAN Of light
Or a glow of warmth if you make il.
However fortune nay seem to frown.
However may scorn the scorners.
Still face you fate with a fearless eye
M a mouth curved up at the corners-
Martha 8. White in Good Housekeeping
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
Policemen and the Drama.

If anybody appreciates the drama, it is
your policeman. At theaters where he
is on duty at night he cannot always see
all of a play himself. He must parade
up and down about the entrance for a
time, but it goes hard if after the throng
have taken their seats he does not slip in
and enjoy the aesthetic surroundings and
the superb delineations of humsn emo
ton. He not only enjoys this himself,
but he brings his family and all his rela-
tives to become thoroughly educated in
dramatic art. This is well. Nothing is
better than that people should learn in
their youth to be judges Of high art, not
to say high kicking. Your guardian in
blue steps up jauntily to the box Office
and says to the ticket man, "Say, I'm
on duty here tonight" Then he gives a
little ahem and proceeds to remark:
'Say, I've got me sister here wild her
chicks. It's all right, hey!"
Usually it is all right, for a policeman
on duty is a greater man than the presi-
dent. But some theatrical managers
are very unreasonable. They actually
object to deadheading whole families
night after night simply because these
job lots of humanity are kin to a police
man. In all the cities of this country
the practice of giving free entertain
ment to police parties at theaters is the
vogue. Some Of the managers are so
obstreperous as to say they will not
stand it any longer. They vow to break
up the custom if they break up their
theaters.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
HOE YOUR OWN ROW.
II Is = Proditiess Proceeding to Garry Goa
tn NewcastIe-

II Is = Proftiess Proceeding to Garry Goals
to Newcastle.
There are more ways than one, my son,
of carrying Goals to Newcastle, and in
almost every case it is q proftless pro
eeeding-o on the part of the person engsg-
ed in it.
T. Therefore, my son, have nothing to do
with that kind of ~trafic-that is to SAP
do not encroach upon another's preserves
except to admire. Do not attempt to
stock them with your own game.
When a man is a salesman in a dry
goods store, do not attempt to instruct
him by the ventilation Of ideas of your
own. II he be an actor, do not intruds
upon him any Of your amateur notions.
If a clergyman, refrain from Scriptural
citation and exegesis when in his compa-
ny. If a professional humorist, resist,
as it were the evil one, all temptation to
Righteousness and paronomasia. If anne
chanic, do not presume to give him points
In his calling.
But, on the other hand, my son, do mot
attempt to interfere with his speaking OF
his calling, profession OF speciality. So
long as you listen you make no mistake,
and the wing of friendship molts nc
feather.
Give ear to the story of his experiences
at the counter, but interjectn none Of your
own; listen to and applaud his spoutings,
but spout not yourself; receive with be.
coming reverence his interpretations OF
holy writ. but NEEDLE not yourself with
that which the lay mind is not supposed
to be able to cope withal; listen and
laugh at his wit and whimseys, but
hazard no joke of your own; attend
while he relates his mechanical achieve
ments, but vaunt not yourself in the
same line.
It is a common mistake, my son, to
suppose that because a man delights in
talking about a certain something in
which he is proficient, he loves to hear
every babbler that falls in his way des-
cant upon the same subject; that because
1t pleases him to exalt himself in a given
direction he likes to hear others in the
same direction exalt themselves.
When a man knows a thing thorough
ly-or thinks he does, which amounts to
the same so far as he is concerned-he is
quite ready and willing to instruct others,
but he brooks no incursions by others
into his peculiar domain. When he has
finished the exposition of his wares, it is
time for you to show up yours, provided
Of course they are of an entirely differ
ent line.
There must be reciprocity in the com
merce of conversation, an exchange of
complementary commodities. Each must
give what the other lacks and receive in
return that in which he is wanting, else
there can be no trade, no harmony.
You would not ship oranges to Flori-
da, ice to Nova Zembla or hot air fur
naces to Sahara. Then why carry Goals
to Newcastle?
Therefore, my son, let each man pad
die his own canoe as it best pleases him.
Admire, applaud, if you willard it is
your best hold-but don't put in your
oar, though he be swamping.-Boston
Transcript.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
Must Pass In Hard Tack.

In examining men DESTROYS of join
ng the royal marines recruiting Off
:ers are directed to pay special atten-
ion to the condition of the teeth of a
candidate. Seven defective teeth, or
wen less if they impair the biting or
grinding capacity, will render a candi-
late ineligible, and the examining med
cal officer is directed to take into spe-
:ial consideration the probability of the
eeth lasting London Court Journal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
p the Weddings.

Saxon girls 1000 years ago always
wore a gold crown during the marriage
ceremony, this article being kept in the
church and a fee being paid the priest
for its use by the brides of the parish.
In the year 927 the Danes raided the
south of England and stole 100 church
crowns. and there was no marrying in
the afflicted villages for nearly six
months until new crown could be made.
Yankee Blade.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
The First

Legend tells us that the first pheni1
was born in the garden of Eden and
had its nest in a great red rose-the
first rose that ever bloomed. When the
angel drove Adam and Eve out of para
disc, a spark of fire fell from the an
gels fiery sword and burned up the
phenix and his nest. Out of the ashes
sprang a glorious bird, which also lived
500 years before mysteriously burning
itself, at every recurrence of which a
new phenix is said to arise.-New York
Journal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
Count Primoli's Camera

Count Primoli is a familiar figure in
Partisan society. spending a portion of
the season each year at the hospitable
house of his aunt, Princess Mathilde, in
whose salons he formed the acquaintance
and acquired the warn friendship of the
popular novelist. Paul Bourget. He is
noted as being, with the possible excep-
ton of the Due de Morny, the most sue
eessful amateur photographer in Europe,
and has spent enormous sums on various
perfected apparatus connected with this
particular fad.-New York Herald.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
Reminder.

New Fatber-in-law-Well sir, the
ceremony is over, and now that you are
the husband Of my daughter 1 want to
give you a little advice. What would
you do if you should wake up some
night and find burglars in the house?
Bridegroom should tell them that
my fath~er-in-law forgot to give my wife
a wedding dowry, and they'd go away.
London Punch.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

A man who is known to reach power
and wealth by u~nprincipled methods
frequently gets the name of being big
hearted and generous. When the truth
out, however. it is always found
that he has been generous with other
peoples money.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

The kings Of Sardinia formerly de-
scribed themselves as by the grace Of
God, king of Sardinia, of France, Spain
and England, Of Italy and Jerusalem,
Of Greece and Alexandria, of Hamburg
and Sicily, ruler of the Midway sea,
master of the deep, king Of the earth,
protector Of the Holy Land"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

Hapless old Kearsarge! After a rec
ord as glorious as any brave ship ever
had it was her fate to be plundered and
set on fire by wreckers as she lay help
less OF Roncador reef. There her bones
will remain till the kindly shifting
sands bury the pitiful object out of
sight.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
She Ought to Know.

Miss Imogen Quincy, who entered po-
htical life to the extent Of seeking the
postmistress-ship of her town, says that
no woman can carr a livelihood at po-
etry-the statements of Ella Wheeler
Wilcox notwithstanding.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08
Overdone.

A correspondent writes to a medical
eview to claim that most of mans
diseases are due to the clothing he
wears. There may be something in
hat. The i-llet girls nev die.-Chi-
ago Dispa d.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

Old authorities taught that a peer, if
he wasted his property SO as to be IN
able to support the dignity, could be
degraded by the king. 1t is now held
that degradation can be effected only
by vote of his peers.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

"Your account has been standing Q
bng time, Nj. Dukey."
,"Then give it a seat, my dear Shears"
Very glad tc, sir; shall we make it a
eeceiptr'-London Judy.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

Court life in Stockholm is reduced to
the simplest proportions. Each of the
young princes is devoted to some spe-
cial study, and both the king and queen
have always striven to be their chill
dren's chief friends and confdants.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

The Oldest ruins in the world are
probably the rock cut temples Of Ipsam-
bull, or Abon Samboul, in Nubia, On
the left bank Of the Nile. They are
Jver 4 1000 years old.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

All Catholic princes give the pope Il,
little Of holy father or venerable fathel.
IN replying he calls them my dearest.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1894-06-08

Late alleged pictures of the Hungarian
patriot, Kossuth, make him look like
PARKWAY Moses.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-04-19

One single planter in Louisiana
gets this year s468, 900, another gets
$780,, 200 each. What public service
have these planters done to the peo-
pie of Maryland and Virginia, for
instance, that they should be ren>
stoned? Is the profit of wheat
growing so great that portion of it
should be taken away to bestow
upon the ugar-gro wer! The SUI
gar>grower may contend that he is
of as much value to the coantry as
Carnegie, and Carnegie gets more
from the people than he does. This
is one Of the most baleful features
of the whole system. 1t makes men
look to a paternal Government in
stead of their own honest endeavor
and enterprise, and it is gross and
fragrant injustice to men who, like
the wheat-grower, can reap the ad
vantage from the system. 1t is
against the whole scheme of Repub-
lican Government, for the founda-
ton rock of that system must be
equality before the law.-Baltimore
Sun.