The record-union., 1894-03-10
1nunl Baktrt9 7DotuDer. !.
A FARCE WITH THREE ROLES.
An Indignant Woman, Diplomatic
Clerk and Damaged Umbrella.

An Indignant Woman, Diplomatic
Clerk and Damaged Umbrella.
Last week an uptown woman bought
an umbrella. 1t was Il beautiful um-
brella; it was slender, shapely and strong;
it was light. durable and stylish; it had
silk, stick and ball handle, all OF deep;
lapis-lazuli blue, and was in fact just
what the soul of the woman had long de-
sired in the way of an umbrella. 1t was
a bargain, too-a special lot got by the
dealer under one of these extraordinary
com bination of circumstances which per-
mits him to sell high-priced article for
low-class price-we all know all about IT.
And the heart of the woman was glad as
she paid out 81 9S and ordered her pur-
chase sent home.
When it arrives she slips off the cover
to glOat over her treasure. She turns IT
over and over, admlrlng and rejoicing.
when suddenly blemish meets her eye.
On the handle, midway between the slide
which opens it and the polished sphere OF
blue that is so satisfying, are two scratches
deep enough to penetrate the blue enamel
and lay bare two dull-gray spots OF stick.
They are not large, to be sure, but they
are there, and the spirit of the woman
arises in revolt. She has been imposed
upon, but she will have redress.
Early the next day she takes her UNI
bought it, and straight to the department
presided over by that Suave and decelv-
ing salesman.
He is there, still suave, and evidently
unsuspiciouS.
You remember selling me this UNI
brella yesterday" she begins.
"Yes, madam"
81 find that it is damaged, and I wish
to return it."
1,oo1oro
"Yes, here on the handle," and the two
spots are shown.
"Oh, see.' A pause. sit is not very
serious, madam"
''Sutl1ciently, however, to make me
wish to exchange it for perfect one."
Certainly, madam" He takes the
umbrella and begins to hand down sew
eral from behind him.
Il wish blue one," says the woman;
''these are black"
"There are no more blue ones in that
lot, madam. You remember there were
only two, and the other is gone. | sol
it yesterday afternoon"
The woman had not remembered.
"Thon," firmly, Il shall have to have
my money refunded"
Certainly, madam"
land you will see that the next pur-
chaser of the umbrella knows that it is
damaged ?' This with an air of high
principle.
"Undoubtedly, madam. I hope you
understand that [ did not perceive the
defect when L sold it to you"
81 think it may have escaped your no.
tice," with amiable condescension. "And,
now, my money, please, as | am in "a
hurry"
"Do you wish cash or credit?''
"Cash; | have no other purchases to
make"
Very well, madam" He fills out an
order and beckons a floor walker. That
dignified official approaches. The sitlla-
ton is explained to him and the order
submitted for his signature. ''The um-
brella is from this special lot, you know,
Mr. smith," adds the salesman, (which
we can never duplicate.'
Certainly, certainly" indorses the
floor walker. ''We are most willing to
take it back"
The order is sent to the desk to be
cashed.
The woman waits. After moment she
saws: 81 need an umbrelly badly. | will
look over your stock again. Show me
that one"
"Ihis is a very fine one,'' the salesman
says, 1.-The silk is the same as that in the
one you bought; the finish of the handle
is somewhat better"
''It is not so pretty. How much is it ?"
Eight
"Oh, that is too high. There's pretty
one."
''Yes, madam" Takes it down. "Niue-
twenty-five"
"Worst yet. You ought to make con-
cession to my disappointment"
ut is impossible, madam, in these
goods. They are marked very close"
The stock is looked over and over. The
cheap ones are not blue and the blue ones
are not cheap. The clerk is most courte-
ously attentive. At length the woman
picks up the umbrella she has brought
| back.
"If 1 should take this again, it seems
right that 1 should have reduction for
the defect"
"Ordinarily, madam, we would be glad
to give it. but that umbrella damaged IS
worth considerably more than its price"
But it was sold to me as perfect at
that price"
still, madam, it is so little short of
perfect that its remarkable value is not
! affected. L can sell that umbrella to-day
for 81 S5 with the defect carefully pointed
out"
The money arrives from the desk. 1t
| is counted out to the woman. She opens
her purse and is about to put it in. Then
she lays it down.
81 believe, after ALL" she says, without
embarrassment, 81 Will take this um-
| brella again." And, picking it up, she
walks calmly away. York Times.