The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-03-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

backsllder-Ihe crab. Halo.
A spark ofgenius-Wlnning an heir
ess. Truth.
The man who agrees with us doesn't
come around near often enough. -
Rams Horn.
The stock exchange is where hope is
exchanged for experience. Florida
Times Union.
A man with an elastic imagination
is too liable to use it for q conscience.
Rochester Democrat.
This is a world of compensations-
men who lack long heads generally
have long faces. Truth.
The worst of the rosy colors in
which some things are painted is that
they are not fast.-Puck.
GLOW much is this dress worth? ?"
81 really don't know what it's worth
the price is SO. "-Hallo.
The pen may be mightier than the
sword, but it's the uniform that takes
young women's yes.-Judge.
Johnny, add seven apples to two
apples, and what will you have?"
"Colic, sir. "-Harper's Bazaar.
A dogs tail is not necessarily ''has
been" because il always points to the
past. t.--Bimghamton Republican.
One reason why some men are SO
lean is because they have thrown all
their fat into the fire. Dallas News.
Tommy with pride)-''My pas
banker" Willie-"An' my pas re-
ceiver for his bank. Chicago Rec
ord.
"The foreign husbandi is the absorb
ing idea !" said the American million
aire as he wrote the wedding check. =
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-"Do yoL believe in such n
thing as love at first sight?' She
Certainly. A hasty glance does
not discover imperfections. Boston
Transcript.
Hungry Higgins - "Wots right
nowadays tank you, or tanks"
Weary Watkins - 81 guess tanks
would hit us about rigES. "--lndianap-
oils journal.
The man who is always careful to
keep out of debt is seldom so well
supplied with the modern conveni-
ences of life as his less considerate
fellow. Puck.
He--"What would you do if l were
to kiss you?" She-"Are you very
curious to know?" He-"Very !"
She--"Well, you might try--and see T.
Boston Traveller.
at makes no difference to me. " said
the old theologian, whether l came
from tadpole or monkey. How to
get out of the scrape is what bothe-s
me. Newport News.
In the cannibal islands. Mother
''What is the matter with you, my
son? Have you eaten anything that
disagreed with you?" Son--"rhat is
why ate him" Boston Transcript.
Tommy 81 guess he must be the
best dentist in town. Papa Didn't
he hurt you?" Tommy-"No; / just
went up to the door and my tooth
stopped hurting. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
''Did you get anything from that
man you just applied to for help?'
"Only good advice. "What advice
did he give you!' 81 said / was cold
and he told me to go to blazes, -
New York Press.
The scarcity of food in Bage has
compelled the beseiged troops to re
sort to CANNES dished up in various
styles. There is havoc among the
dogs of war in that locality. -Phila-
delphia Ledger.
First Belle-"Then both Herr
Schulze and Herr Lehman had made
her an offer of marriage, which was
the lucky man;' Second Ditto-"Herr
Schulze, Herr Lehman married her, "
-Oberlander Bote.
"Have You had your new house in
sured, Mrs. Dwight?' ''Nes. ''Gour
husband is afraid of fire, then?"
"Mercy, yes; ne will leave the house
any time before he will make one. -
Chicago lnter-Oeean.
''How do You know that DeVere is
not in love with Mabel Sweetbriar?"
"Because | heard him tell her the
other evening, when they came from
church, that lie knew of short cut
home. Detroit Free Press.
"Did you know that Miss Biones
was going to marry young smith, Il
know il but / cannot understand how
girl as intelligent as she is can con
sent to marry IA man stupid enough to
want TO marry her. brooklyn Lite.
Angels have wings, haven't they,
grandma Eve always heard so.
Il heard Uncle Gerald tell Mademoi-
selle she was an angel--iu the shrub
berry this morning and she hasn't got
wings." "No, but she'll have TO fly.
Punch.
"An' is your man worhiu' now, Mrs.
Mullay?' He is that, Mrs Tooley
"Phwat do he be doiu' Mrs. Mullay2'
"Coachln conyicts, Mrs. rooley,
"Phwat's that, Mrs. Mullayy' 'Driv-
in the Black Maria, shure, Mr.
Tooley. "-Elmira Gazette.