The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-03-07
GENERAL NEWS.

Matches may be made in heaven, but
the majority are made in the back par
lor. with the lights very low
The men who wear long ceats, and
walk fast in them are no longer in a
position TO laugh at the way woman
runs.
No woman Is going to saw wood and
say nothing. If she has to saw the wood
the world will certainly hear from her
If a wart be rubbed with the pared
surface Of freshly cut potato three
times day, it will disappear within
month.
The latest swindle is an article ad-
yertised to do writing without pen or
ink. Its price is SO, and the purchaser
receives lead pencil.
The young man who thinks he dis
plays his manhood by being tough"
only displays the fact that he doesn't
know what manhood is.
Nearly all Of the newspapers have
abolished the habit of publishing lists
of presents at weddings, and especially
the surprise and birthday parties.
The Kentucky grandmother who is
only 20 years old should be warning
to all the girls who are tempted to
marry too early Think of being a
granny at 30
That most men live fast lives is evil
dent by the fact that boy born in
1864 will be 30 this year. while the aver
age girl born in the same year will be
only 20.
The man who is dissatisfied with him
self, with his family, with his church
and with his creator generally proves
to be kicker in the community in
which he exists.
There is a mutual responsibility rest
ing upon the school and home for the
promotion of the best welfare of the
children, and 1t should be assumed by
both teacher and parent alike.
A man cannot build up an honest
business in town without helping the
town. town cannot build up without
helping the country. The interest OF
one is the interest Of all.
An editor may be able to please all
the people part of the time, but just as
soon as he tries to please all of the peo-
Pile all the time, he will make a total
failure of it. That is something he can
not do, and 1t is useless to try.
Aluminium dimes are now being circu-
lated. The coins are Of the finest speci-
mems of counterfeiting that none other
than an expert can detect them except
by comparison. They have a clear ring
and the only flaw is in milling.
Endowed church choirs are worth
thinking about. With an income from
such fund sufficient to induce the
finest vocalists and organists to seek
positions in these choirs, congregations
would be in position to enjoy the best
quality of sacred music without stint.
individuals who desire to make be-
quests, or who care, during life, to aid
In building up funds for this purpose,
have a field in which many persons
may join hands through a series of
generations, the music, all the while,
becoming akin to the melody of ten
thousand harps and voices
An exchange asks If anyone ever knew
woman to blow out the gas or to be
bunkoed by man who wanted to bor-
row money to pay freight bill? Does
she get her pocket picked, or lose her
money on little "game?" If she has
roll of money with her, does she ever
flash 1t out when she wants to buy a
cake of chewing gum? Instead of a
woman having man along to pro
tect" her, the daily papers prove that
every man who goes away from home
should have women to act as a guar
dian and keep him from making big
ger fool OF himself than he naturally is.
EXTENDED SYMPATHY.