The Washington times., 1894-04-12
WIND AND WHISKERS.
Startling Proof from Kansas Of Thei
Mysterious Affinity.

Startling Proof from Kansas OF Their
Mysterious Affinity.
From the Indianapolis Journal
"They amt no doubt but Kansas Is great
state for whiskers," said the man with the
ginger beard, land, what's more. this here
connection between wind and whiskers amt
the funny joke some folks think it IS
sFor instance said the grocer. Il low,
now. that eff you was to shave them (here the
grocer gave an intimation Of the bleating of a
goat that you wouldn't be able to tell them
windy yarns eh?'
The man with the ginger beard was so busy
picking the tail and fms of IL dried herring IN
such manner as to lose none OF the meat that
the grocers sarcasm missed its mark. Alter
the herring had been disposed Of and washed
down with drink of water, the man with the
ginger beard continued:
las / was sayiD' the connection between
wind and whiskers was showed to me out in
Kansas in a durn funny way. You see. there
was q old feller out there that. ef he hadn't
been Republican. could "a started out on
the reputation of his whiskers and beat ole
PETER so fur fer the Senate that Corbett an
Mitchell wouldn't "a been in il for sample OF
sure thing. Well. one day this ole feller
goes out on his farm and runs right square up
agin one OF the finest sample of cyclone that
Kansas had put up for many day. One of
the hands over in the field. about quarter
of mile away. sees the cyclone hit the old
man. an started on dead run fer the house
to git the wagon to haul in his mangled re-
mains. though he lowed he might have 10 90
to the next county to find 'em. Now. what do
you think? He gifts out TO the field where he
last see the old man. an stead of fndin' ary
remains, ne finds him standin' there live as
ever and lookin' puzzled. Didn't l see
twister comm your way?' asked the hired
%t,A E11 Aa1t
an that's what's puzzlin' me. The thing
come along, an run right into me. and then
the next thing 1 knowed it was gone. Didn't
go up in the air or nothin' else. Near Us l
can figure it out, it must Nv been mysterious
dispensation.
THE ole feller was stuck on schoolma'am
that had come from back East, an that very
night he asst her to marry him, which she
said she would ef he would take of them
whiskers. 1t nigh broke his heart, but he
knuckled under. So the next day he goes to
barber shop in town near by aud tells the
barber to cut em loose. Well. the barber
turns loose on them whiskers, an in the next
minute that barber shop was scattered all
over the county. half the town was blowed
down, an the other half was shook out Of
shape. 1t was the queerest thing anyone
ever heerd Of an l don't suppose 1t would
ever be explained if feller who come along
with n show and was sellin' patent medicine.
hadn't q explained 1t. He said that the fact
was that the cyclone had got tangled up II
old Abner's whskers when it disappeared so
sudden. an had been stickin' there until the
barber cut the whiskers off and gave it q
chance to escape"
There was crash and smothered excla-
nation, and the grocer at first had wild
hope that the man with the ginger beard had
been struck with lightning. but an investiga-
ton showed that it was only the man from
Potato creek. who had fallen from his seat on
the counter into the tub of eggs.