The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1894-01-09
CRANKs SEEKING FAME.
Queer People Who Are Ambitious to See
Statues of Themselves in Public Parks.

He came into the Office of the Park
Board clad in black, and with weed
on his hat but with red rose as if
significant of hope?-on the lapel of his
coat. Approaching the desk of one of
the clerks he said in a low voice:
Excuse me, but is this the place
where they oversee the statues that are
to be placed in the public parks?"
cit is"
IL would like to talk to some one in
authority
To one of the heads of the department
he said, as he sank into a chair:
Would you tell me-ahem what are
the requirements in order to have a
statue placed in public square?"
Certainly" said the gentleman, cheer
fully; have you any particular person
in mind:n
"Ahem!-well, yes; but no one ! care
to speak of now" responded the widower,
blushing deeply and drawing a handker-
chief over his brow.
In order TO havea statue of your
friend in the public PARKS" continued
the. official, gravely, lit will be necessa-
~ for you to su bmit finished model of
the work to our Art COMMITTEES, who
will pass on it's merits.
This committee also decides whether
or not the one you have in mind is or
was in life, of sufficiently wide reputa-
ton. local or national, to justify the
great honor Of a public statue
Is that all?' said I'll G man, slowly,
renewing the grip on his umbrella and
preparing to rise.
Yes; there is one other condition. and
tnat IS that no statue is to be erected to
anyone who has po5 been dead at least
five years.
Is it so?" replied the visitor, rising;
well in that case, will have to call
again-later.
Crank After Statues.
It would require no stretch of the inn
agination to decide on the mission OF the
gentleman with the weed, the rose and
the UNI brella.
He was doubtless some heartbroken
widower-though not without hope-who
had been planning how appropriate it
would be to have statue of his deceased
wife in some public garden-it may be
the very one where few years ago un-
der the elms he and she were won't to do
their counting by moonlight.
Thus he was only one of the process
ional army of cranKs-well intentioned,
it may be-who besiege the office of the
Park Commisson in season and out, look
ing up the matter of requirements for
statues. Their number is greater. too,
| am told, than one might think.
Hardly week passes but some mysteri-
Gus individual comes to that big build
ing in Chambers street and hints that
he or she would like to know about the
statue question. Seldom do these peo-
| pleatell whom they have in mind in
making their Investigations They hint
darkly that they will call again." and
that is usually the last of them.
If all the applications OF these indi-
viduals were embodied in bronze or
granite the parks would not be large
enough to hold them. Cliques and So
ieties, too, play their part If ever there
was curious phase of human nature it
is here personjfed. To be remembered
after death is beautiful and ennobling
desire. Those nations that have ad-
vanced most IN the arts and industries
of peace have been most tenacious in the
memory of their dead, while history
shows that those peoples who have cared
sunk into decay. 1t is difficult to imag-
inc, though, how strange are the aver
age mans notions as to the part played
in life by his friends. 1t is well, doubt
less, that those who are left behind see
in each friend departed some quality
they wish to embalm in marble. but
were the subject not serious, certainly
there would be touch of the humor-
Gus in the idea of carving unimportant
people in marble Or granite for the
adornment of the parks.
Queer Letter Writers.
If the requests for statues are unique,
no less SO are the letters sent to the Board
for answer. A countryman will come to
New York, and taking walk around
the old aqueduct, will wonder how far
he has travelled, and the next day the
Board will get letter from him asking
the information "to cetide wager"
Then one of the engineers of the Board
will be put on the problem. Every
question that can be readily is answered
by the obliging officials, out there is
always large mum Der which battle the
skill even of those familiar with park
matters for years. The other day there
came to the office letter that ran like
this: Gentlemen I was looking around
the City Hall Park the other day and
fell to wondering how much it cost the
city to keep the buns and tramps in
order-for you must acknowledge that all
L. ~ go, D. e.. L.