Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-08-23

| III Cdndud' Onuernlll QUICKLY
"Yes, love; but it sometimes SHOWS =
Truth.
IT seems reasonable that a cat
rugged boat would suffer more from
squalls than any other.
Courier.
@DID she say she could never love
another?" swell, she remarked that
/ was the last man she could love"
detroit Tribune.
WHEN girls want to sit In ham,
mock for solid comfort they hang Il
In the back yard where no one can
see.-Atchison Globe.
LANGUAGE is not always precise.
The fly doesn't necessarily love the
fly paper for all 1t may be stuck on it.
Philadelphia Times.
FOND MAMMA TO clerk In china
stOre)-I see you have mugs marked
Tom and Jerry; have you any with
Willie and Charlie on them?
HE-They have dropped their an
Choir. She ION her first trip)-Serves
them right. 1t has been hanging over
the side all day long. Bazaar
STRANGEr-"Do you belong to this
city?" DeniZen-"Nor, OF don't; the
city belongs TO me. Dim member
Of the foorce. Boston Transcript.
LITTLE-"have you any distant
relatives" Mutch-"No; mine are
all near enough TO visit me at a mo-
ment's notice. Detroit Free Press.
DAUGHTER-"Papa went off In great
good-humOr this morning." Mother
-"My goodness! That reminds me.
forgot to ask him for any money"
New York Weekly.
Mrs. HICKs-Are you sure that
you married me for myself alone?
Hicks-Of course. Having your
mother to live with us was not strict
ly an idea Of mine. Harlem Life.
THE following appears in small
provincial paper: The bridegroom's
present to the bride was handsome
diamond brooch, besides many other
beautiful things In cut glass. It'd
Bits.
TIE REASON. -"Why. Jennie, you
married, of all girls?" "Yes, my dear.
1t Is these frocks that hook over the
shoulders. l couldn't do it myself,
and couldn't afford maid. =
Harper's Bazaar.
CIRCUMSTANCES altahs cases, shOh,
said Uncle Eben. de man dat likes
to hiah hisse'f boiler in alignment
doan seem ter git no satisfaction tall
fun de SCUM oh his voice drivin'
cows. Washington Star.
o,i, - u
experiences of my life this morning."
said the professor. what was it,"
inquired his wife. II heard United
States Senator Teprove his son for
wasting time. Washing ton Star.
A HEROIC MEASURE. you're not
In love, Robbie. You only think you
are" well, how the dickens am l
to find out my mistake If am mis-
taken?" ooh. marry the woman by
all means. "-Harper's Bazaar.
AT Gettysburg. any land
marks?" Yes; and / was thinking
how you must have expanded since
the war; Here's the tree you stood
lei ind during the whole battle, and
it covered you we'll then. Harlem
Life.
Mrs YOUNGBLCoD Ito orchestra
leader at summer hoteD-"What was
that long, dreary thing You just
played?" Leader-"Dotv vas from Vog-
ner." Mrs Youngblood-" was not
pretty" Leader-"It vas not intend
cd to be. Harlem Life.
ANOTHER chance: Scribble-"Did
you see anything Of a bundle of man.
uscript l had marked IS77?" Mrs.
Scribble-"No. Anything import
anti" Scribble were some
sevcnteen-year jokes in it. l thought
might try 'em on again. Harlem
Life.
NERVOUS old lady lin saloon of
steamer)-Oh, steward, where do /
sleep? Steward--What is the number
of your berth, ma'am? Nervous old
LADY, don't see what that has to
do with it: but, II you must know, 1t
is third. There were brother and
sister born before me. -Tid-Bits.
WAR IN THE FUTURE General
when rullet-proof uniforms become
commonly -What have you learned?
Aid-Victory will soon perch upon
our banners. We have filled the enc
my's clothes SO full of lead that they
can't move another step without un-
dressing.-New York Weekly.
KATIE-"say. Maggie, why does
your missus call this place Bayview?
There's no bay and mighty little view
about it." Maggie heard her say
it was becaze there was bay horse in
the barn, bay tree in the yard, a
bay window on the house and baby
In the pairlor. "--Arkansaw Traveller
MERCHANT-"Mr Remington, you
have ruined me-simply ruintd mel"
Stenographer-"How so, sir" Mer-
chant-"I dictated letter yesterday
to Mrs Ferguson, Hotel Woodmore,
Suite One and you bgan 1t, Mrs.
Ferguson, Hotel Woodwork, Sweet
One;' and Mrs. Ferguson forwarded
the letter to my wife. Truth.
OLD GENTLEMAN ito his wife's
French maid}-Now, Lisette, don't
you breathe anything to anybody that
/ gave you these earrings. Lisette
Never fear; am discreet. 1t Is
now over three months ago that your
son gave me pair Of bracelets. but
I never said word about them to