The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1894-10-13

''If he keeps out of bed until Monday
night he's a winner"
If every body knew Captain Tom it
would be unnecessary TO explain this anx-
ious conversation, but some few do not.
He is the head of the Information bureau
now operating as an auxiliary to the reg
istration offices in the gloomy basement of
City Hall
TIE multiplicity and infinite variety of
bis duties are unspeakable. He assists
the unlettered American sovereign to get
his bearings, so that at the coming cleo
ton he NAV be able to steer a straight
course 10 the polls and perform the highest
dntv OF the citizen without being run over
10y the patrol wagon. He looks up the
residences OF heavily bearded persons, ard
tells them where thew live. often 10 their
Infinite surprise and delight. He fluids
out how old they are for them and locates
their birth place. If a man has never voted
before he comes from behind his counter
and shows him in what hand the ballot
should be held before voting, and how to
make graceful return. the first two fin
gers 10 the rlght-hand vest-pOcket.
The new member of the piece club,
doubtful just how far it is safe 10 go in The
matter, he advises win kindness and that
thoughtful deliberaton so proper in such
cases.
picion of fiippancy and expresses an earn
est desire to know what Captain Tom
really believes to be woman'S limit he
Will take him into his private office and go
over the whole ground dispassionatelv,
but never allowing the man to go without
advising him TO get married aud raise the
limit.
Under the prevailing system VIII ere
every man who wants to vote is compelled
10 register and every man who registers
must describe himself with the minute de-
tail that formerly only distinguished the
l"ng-term convicr, Captain O'NeiPs duties
are especially onerous. If 1t should hap
pen that the would-be voter has recently
had his upper teeth drawn they ask him
X 1t Will be necessary for them to wait
until the set now In the hands of the
dentist is completed or if they will be per-
mitted TO vote even though the upper lip
should fall In little beyond what Is
natural aud further than it did the last
time they voted. One case of this kind,
being very much concerned. thanked Car
tain Tom effuslvely for mis- kind reassur-
ance and gave him his personal pledge
that he would at no time smile during the
voting.
One man who applied yesterday had a
deeply disco lored eve and explained that
It's pleasant associations were such that
he would not foregO them if he never
voted. But he was a logical man, pointed
out that 1t was Temporary physical
marking and that it would be unjust Ia
him TO write him down in the great
register OF the county as having only one
white eye. So he wanted 10 know from
Captain Tom if the election could not be
postponed until be was himself again.
This close questioning and descript ion is
very embarrassing 10 many of The appli-
cants, especially the last few DAYS
when as the boys behind the desks
declare that the great army of the
devOtees of rest have been getting in posi-
ton TO be valuable to somebody-about
which value they have their own ideas.
1 he color of the eye, complexion, the birth
mark, age, weight and height. The
machine at each desk with which The
height IS iak ken is SO very suggestive that
when it came 10 that yesterday one fellow
turned. gra bbed his hat and ran.
Where d. you llve?" inquiries the
registry clerk.
'lu the one place these thirtsen wears"
But where, where?" cried the hurried
clerk, glancing at the long procession 10
wal ing behind the administered citizen.
SIN the same place, L tell you. Haven't
you got it down In the books, you block
head?"
Aud so it goes. One espectabe-looking
old man went in 10 see Registrar Evans
yesterday, aud explained with an anxiety
about his desire In vote that could have
only one meaning. that he was about to be
elected from his home because OF an ina
bllity to pay the rent, viii h was in arrears
several months. and the matter had
reached It's final stage in court; that IL he
moved at all he would have to move out of
the precinct. and that would kill his vote.
''ADd besides have a mum Der of friends"
he added wistfully. watching for shade
of compassion in the Registrars face
But TO that official 1t was only one of
very. very many. and his eye warmed for