The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1894-02-15
| Kew and Brief Alphabet Of Converse
tlOnal Emphasis.
RHETORIC VS.. PROFANITY CONSIDERED.
rbat which was Adequate for the
Old rlasters wholly Insufficient
for Ordinary Use Ia the Light OF
Modern Civilization.

human heart. Brownson, the greatest
logician America has produced, handled
his mother tongue with the skill Of a
master. Longfellow, in his sweet verse,
shows its charm and force in rythmicsl
construction; and Dickens has harmon
ized thoughts, sentiments aud imperisha-
bile creatio rs in language that will live as
long as the world itself. Here. then, is
proof positive of the beauty, harmony and
capacity Of the English language
Still, it lacks somethug-at least in the
opinion Of many. 1t has become unfash-
ionnble (perhaps unmanly) to condescerd
beauty. There is remarkable tendency
nc wadays to add new lustre and strength
to speech by the frequent in,erspersions
OF such expressions as God, hell, damn,
devil, etc., which, by various combina-
tons, alterations and authorizations, may
be considered the alphabet of the new
system.
Much has been written in favor OF the
various systems Of shorthand now in
vogue, with regard TO their utility, etc.
This may all be true, but they are far in
ferior to the new method of conversation,
and decidedly less popular.
4 politician might be elected to office
without knowing stenography, but, hard
ly, unless he was more or less proficient
IN the harmonious combinations Of the
new system. 1t is, perhaps, unnecessary
to say that Col. lngersoll finds himself
here in 81 dilemma, as he cannot adopt
the new system without logical inconsist-
ehcy, or, to borrow from the phraseology
of the new alphabet, without making a
damn" fool OF himself II he does not
adopt it he is politically ostraeised and
disqualified from holding any office with
| in the gift Of the American people. As
much so rs il he abstained from the use
OF tobacco in any form.
The christian bitterly opposes the prev
alence OF this new system as directly con-
trary to all principles of morality and
derogatory to the respect due to the great
Creator himself. Authentic history fails
to record whether Socrates Plato or Cicero
could swear or not. Plato never made
the acquaintance Of Jesus Christ; and we
doubt whether he was ever introduced to
his satanic majesty-at least We hope not.
Socrates might be perhaps excused II he
did, as history tells us his wife used to
treat him to cold bath when in the
humor-that is in violent humor.
The authors, then, of these new phrases
can lay no claim to ancient usage as a
sanction for their system. Who are its
patrons? Theoretically it has no defend
ers, but practically it has many admirers.
Men of talent and ability, doctors, law
yers, (perha rs some clergymen) are not at
all blind to its merits and find the new
alphabet highly useful in giving vent TO
their feelings OF enthusiasm, animosity
and pleasure. Indeed, there is nothing
more delightful than to gather together
in social converse and test TO its utmost
capacity the expansive power of this new
system in giving voice to. the various
sentiments of the human heart. The
directors OF some of our public schools are
adopts in the art-particulariy when they
discover the fact that they have employed
a teacher, who is so profoundly ignorant
as to teach that the earth is round; when,
10 the opinion of the trustees, everybody
knows it is fiat A case OF this kind
occurred on the Natcheez. The teacher
lost his position because he would not
conform to the opinion OF the board and
another, lured with a special proviso that
he would teach as the board directed took
his place.
In terms OF endearment the new alpha.
bet-if judiciously used-is immensely
rich. Even young ladies OF high social
standing can use the terms with remarka-
BILE fluency. But here Adam is response
BILE aud not Eve. In this parti ulal
instance the blaine can not be attached ia
the serpent or to the woman, but to the
man. The writer never heard of a lover
venturing to test the power OF the he"
system in winning over the lady OF his
heart (perhaps from want Of proper refiec'
tom, but we did hear OF one calling into
play all the emphatic combinations Of
which the system is capable on being
gifted, or accidentally coming in contact
with "pspa's boot"
The young have derided taste fol
novelty Of every description. It's mol
illogical, then, to infer that the new com
binations meet with their unqualified APP
probation. So much so as to occasion
anxiety in the minds Of all Tirtuous
people as TO its possible influence on
society and the country at large. They
have mastered in eircumstantial detail oil
the possible variations, infections and
emphatic combinations OF which the sys
tenn is susceptible to the utmost conster-
nation Of all lovers OF morality aud thS
teachings OF christianity. Nor can they
be censured for initiating that which ha:
the sanction of twhat is believed to be
the best authority in the land.
}, Grammar itself is based on the usage o
the best speakers and writers in the land
SO is the new system OF social communi
cation. Strange that men have not ye
discovered the propriety OF having coup
let's rhyme with damn" "deviP' ant
; the multifarious constructions in which
I the new discovery is so rich. Perhaps il