St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-10-14
HIRAM IN THE N H.

49, wv
which a begin TO compare In its re-
cherche social attributes with Summit
avenue. That section Is Merriam hill.
Although one wouldn't think it, Merri-
am hil is in the very center OF the
bloody Ninth ward. F.,
Header amOng those who SO ably
maintain the social ton of Merriam hill
Is Hon. HiramE. Stevens. Hon. Hiram
wears the senatorial toga, and he is
anXlous-rextremeiy anxious, it is said
10 keep Oh wearing 1t, at least for four
years longer. lie Is. moreover, a lawyer.
anu. according to the genera! consensus
OF opinion. a very smooth = of
those velvet politicians who never
make u mistake more serious than that
or shaking hands with undue cordialify-
around election time wi h those to
whose existence hi remains totally obs
iivious during the remaining eleven
months of the. ye ar. B,
Between the senator's political and
his social ambition there arises OCCASION
ally a conflict of jurisdiction. so to
Spead. Tbs, one calls on him to appear
exclusively i'll the garb of the society
young man.; the other makes him the
friend of the workilgmaii, at least to
the extent of sporting for evening use
what in the expressive %vernacular of the
Celt Is known as a "'cauDeeu," surm0unt-
ing other habilImentS which would for
ever exile him from the scented Amos
pbere of the hill.
Indeed, it is hunted that just at this
time the Merriam hill senator is posing
as an agricuiturist. and holds out his
finger nails as proof of his loyalty TO the
cause of the POpulist. However well.
or ill-founded. this latest assertion of
Hiram's versatility may be, it is quite
evident that since the opening of his
| latest campaign for senator he hasn't
cultivated his manicure any too CAREFUL
ly. When he grasps the helm OF a
schooner of Ninth ward beer. and his
finger nails come in contact with the
exhilarating fluid. it is known that the
foam dies away and a very dull tint
overspreads the amber beverage.
One evening last week the senator
carefully dressed himself in his election
forgery and hied him forth to prove his
devotion to the downtrodden. Standing
in the shadow OF one of the adjacent
saiidDits was the senator's right bower,
the inimitable Sache.
"HullO, senator!" came from the sand
pit.
"Hullo. Sache!!" was the response.
"What is Cur itinerary this evening,
old man."
"Our what, senators?
"By Jove. | forgot. This will never
do-that is to say, where are we
bOundH'
There's a dance down at Mike Nc.
Carty's tonight, Hiram. Let's"
"That's right, old man. Hiram
that's my name. Let us avoid putting
on airs. 1t is obnoxious TO the free
born American. Who's down at Mikes,
by the way?"
"Oh. quite a crowd. You see, Judge
Howard and me fixed it so that a lot of
the boys will be down there at $3.50
o'clock. By the way. Sen Hiram,
have o any one-dollar bills about
ye? l haven't got anything smaller
than a ten myself, and that won't do,
We know. Well have to go it a little
easy for a while yet. Mike is a little
fOrgetful once in a while, or his eye
sight isn't good. ldoh't know which it
is, but he is far from particular about
his charge"
NAV bocklesh. me by. Now, how
is that, Sache? Will that fetch the
terriers, as havin' the true ring, do ye
thihk?:'
'"Mother O. Moses. Sen Hiram T.
mean who put you on? Why you5talk
like a native, man."
just so, Sache. Diggin thu Gaelga?
That's what knocks! You see, Johnny
and l have been having recilations for
nearly a week now and Pm reading up,
too; why Ive finished the third chapter
already of the life of Bryan Boru. All,
but ne was a mighty chief. But. coming
back to the real merits OF Jul campaign,
Sache: l just caught the Union bank
fellows before they closed up for the
day, and Eve laid in a goodiy supply of
twos and ones. How much do you
want?"
There was a somewhat prolonged
silence. 1t was broken by Sache:
well, you see, Senator-Hiram, l
mean-there's the judge, and Fve been
thinking. perhaps, it wouldn't be just
the thing to let him in on the deal alto
gether. Howard is a pretty smooth
man himself, and he has a lot of them
terriers with him. He's a bit digni6ed,
too, and he'll waat to set 'em up on his
own account. l think Ill flash this X
ON him oh the quiet, and"
"But, say, Sache. That IN an Howard
Tom Howard, isn't it?-why! Sup
posing Joe should get on? My Gawd.
man.; we're skatin' on thin ice, SO to
speak. Why, Joe would never forgive
me. and without the Pioneer Press
Heavens!-without the Pioneer Press,
what would become of me%"
A prolonged Sh-Sh-and a motion for
silence were the only response. Pres
emily the silken-haired judge hove in
sight, exclaiming with his customary
suavity:
Good evening. gentlemen"
The senator pulled his 'caubeen" still
further over his eyes, while Sache an
swered: 'Ah, good evening, judge"
"Going to Mikes, L presume" said
the Judge.
You judge correctly" ans wered the
senator, waking from his reverie; ana
then, struck by his own admirable wit
ticism, he cried out merrily to his friend
Howard: Irish wit, judge. Irish wit,
y see. Great people. judge. great peo-
pie"
Here the sounds of that famous old
melody, "Nell Fiaherty's Drake"
produced on all astnmatic fiddle, greet.
ed the ears of the trio. .
Here we are" said the SENATOR"
"Sure enough" said Sache.
Lets get right ill.," said the judge.
They stood in front of what in the ISL
and of Saints would be called a ''she-
BEEN"
The sound OF the fiddle was much
louder for a moment, but before the
l door had fully closed the music was