The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-07-05
HOW TO BECOME A CADET
HOW ssFREsHIEsv ARE TREATED
AT WEST POINT.
Humorous Personal Experiences
The Physical and Mental Examin-
ations Fully Described and other
Information Given.

Thousands upon thousands of school
boys now have their eyes focused up
on the military academy at West
Point
This is the season of the year when
appointments to fill vacancies and to
make UP the new ''pleb'' class are
made, and our boys will no doubt
therefore greet gladly an explanation
of the whole business should their
inclinations trend toward an exalted
position in the regular army o! where
they may desire to fight, bleed and die
pro patria.
InnUmerable stories aave been writ
ten Of cadet life at West Point. do
not remember ever having read a
story Of 'tpleb life at West Point
Here she goes! It is a relation Of
my own experiences at the academy.
and it will come pretty nearly being
the experience Of every boy who mas
entered within the past double decade
or SO.
HOW TO MAKE APPLICATION.
In the first place the applicant must
be sound of body and mind, and must
nave good teeth, good eyesight and a
brain or two. The height doesn't make
so much difference, as q boy, under
ordinary circumstances, will stretc:n as
the years stretch. He should be still
in his teens and should be or become
acquainted with a congressman. If he
knows a fellow who knows a congress
man and who has some influence with
him the opening services may be be-
gun. Latterly congressman have fallen
into a habit of subjecting the hordes
of applicants to a competitive eXani-
nation. but there is no specific law
compelling them to do so, and they
may exercise their own sweet will in
the pre- misses.
IF the congressman, or the president,
who has a number of appointments 'tat
large" always on tap, looks kindly up
on your application your doom is seal
cd" The expression doom is sealed
is used advisedly. After you have read
This story tell me if You don't think so.
In course of time you viii receive
from the secretary Of war a notifica-
ton that your application has been
faVorably acted upon and instructions
as TO the course to be pursued. Also
the necessary blanks to be filed out
and returned to him for recording in
the archives.
I RECEIVE AN APPOINTMENT.
Permit me now to drop into the first
person singular brand of gramma teal
architecture, as my story can be better
told in that way. Let every boy i'm
agine that he's the writer for the
noace.
received my appointment and was
instructed 10 appear at West Point for
physical examination within ten days
of the date OF the instructions. This
was in June, 1872. AL applications, ex-
cept in particular cases, are made in
late May or in June. for it IS in the
latter month that the highest class is
graduated and the three others moved
up peg, thus leaving the lowest grade
vacant for the successful plebs to fill
En- PEASANT, it may be well to state
that ''pleb" is q new ccmer-a fresh
applicant. If he successfully passes his
preliminary examination he shakes of
MS plebshIp and becomes a full fedged
cadet. The word is a contraction Of
''plebeian,' and that's what he is and
no mistake.
THE PHYSICAL EXAMINATION.
I filled out my blanks, sent them to
Washington, and then spent ten days
in examining my alleged brain full OF
School-day lore / had forgotten or
which had become mouidy. On the all
important day l took train for Gar
fson's-opposite West Portland cross
ed the river on the ferryboat. 1 was a
youth Of II and knew it all" 1 Won
deTed why the conductor on the train
and deck hands on the boat didn't
former came for my ticket and non
chalantly punched and garnered it and
the latter treated me as If l were one
Of the common herd. l StraightWay de-
termined to get square when 1 became
a general or president of the United
States
1 mounted the steep hill, On duty
from the dock TO the hotel, where /
was to remain over night Too pre-
IoAr
fences by the wayside, ~0ickered at me
and enjoyed each others remarks re-
garding my personal appearance and
possible destination. At the hotel ]
scheduled my gripsack and was as
signed room overlooking the roof OF
Gro Nest" the highest mountain Of
the range, Notwithstanding the fac;
that l had conidentially impaired the
information to the obsequious clerk
that I was q cadet in embryo. 1 think
I saw a smile meander across mis- fea-
lures. 1 afterward determined that he
was wondering whether or not my life
was insured, and if he would get a
commission from the post surgeon fol
saving my remains for the cadets to dc
stunts with.
I fought many battles that night ir
my dreams and scalped barrelfuls OF
Indians out on the plains, who had un-
successfully attempted to inveigle my
command into ambush. Whether this
was due to my enthusiasm, the number
OF mosquitoes l had maSsa cred ere
dozed off or the clerks high tariff
charges the deponent saith not. The
dreams came.
In the morning, after I had break.
tasted, repaired to the surgeons quar-
ters and presented my credentials
was hidden enter a. large room, where
sat, or stood, four officers in Uniform
Two Of them did the heavy looking on
while the others subjected me to 2
physical examination. 1 was compelled
to shuck myself.
Take off your clothesr' was the
word of com nand. I obeyed.
Then / was compelled to trot around
the room, and then to hop around it
first on one foot, then on the other.
was then compelled to swing my arms
around, windmill fashion, in both direc
lions. The quality of my eyesight was
then tested as to different colors, anc
as to its orthodoxy regarding fine and
large print at different distances. Their
one Of the doctors attired my torso in
a towel, and put his ears to it, while
the other raped at my back to ascer
tain If anybody were in, and to satisfy
himself whether or not 1 had Budden
siekish walls. Then they unhinged my
head, and examined my teeth anC
peered down my throat, evidently with
the desire TO ascertain if the hote
clerk had overcharged me for my
breakfast.
Am sound?' tremblingly asked
Ia have given ten of the first years
OF my sweet, young life if the verdicr
mad been that / was a physical wreck