Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1894-04-06
A WISH 10 uTAH.
An Instance of the Preponderance ri
Smiths in That Territory.

An Instance OF the Preponderhnce nj
Smiths in That Territory.
That I know about a magnificent
territory and its vastly interesting
population is due solely to accident. J
had become ashamed of sailing east
year after year and made up my minG
to hitch my wagon to the star of EN-
pire and learn something Of my OWE
great country.
| knew there was a territory calico
Utah. where Mormons INDUCED in the
domestic eccentricity of polygamy, an6
that was all. | might visit Salt Lake
City. All would depend upon circum
stances. All did. 1t CHANGED that in
the middle of October l found myself
In mining town.
| was to cross the mountains OF
horseback, and snow blocked the way
| sat disconsolately in one of those
hostelries that reconcile you to instant
death. 1t was gotten up on the noble
principle of violating every longing o.
the human soul.
No lath ana plaster had ever defiled
the virgin boards that separated one
human being from another. 1t didn't
make any difference which door was
banged upon. All humanity responded
to the thunder. AS even a worm will
turn, so did my soul revolt when one
morning at an unearthly hour Il voice
from my keyhole shouted: Smith, it's
time to skipn'
my names not Smith," l replied
aroused from dreams of home.
"What is your name, then? If it isn't
Smith it ought to be-you're down il
the register as Smith"
mo, that's not Smith" shouted my
opposite neighbor, the day clerk
"Smith's at the end of the hall"
"Well, this is the end of the hall"
aren't there two ends? It's the
other end, you fool"
"Who wants Smith?" asked a SHARP
voice in the distance. "I'm Smith"
whats the matter? I'm Smith, .
| shouted still another voice.
We're the guests all Smiths, myselt
excepted?
'Well, whichever Smith wants to ge
up at four o'clock, him's the one,
( growled the keyhole.
Both the Smiths slammed their re
/ spective doors with big, big D..
It's Smith in No. L." screamed tn,
I day clerk, and the idiotic porter per
formed a reyeille on No. 1 until tn,
/ right Smith responded, and everybod,
/ but the other two Smiths and mvsel
put out their heads wanting to know
where the fire was.
If sleeping were farce, what shall
say of the feeding?
Eat, drink and be merry" was III
cheerful salu tation suspended over tn
4 dining room entrance. 1t was a siclll,
| sarcasm, as there was nothing to eat
nothing to drink away from the bar
and being merry under such circum
stances was more than could be eN
pected from even Mark Tapley.
This was not the town where rea
the significant scale of prices wa,
ranted to meet therequirements of an
appetite;
rpuu u4cdl :'....... ...,'.....f
square ulehl. .......-.....
| PerteCt gorge............ ................,...
dared not cYpostulate, for it was i
this sylvan retreat that an innoccn
'tenderfoot' was asked by the waiter
who carried his right hand to the rea
of his person and laid it firmly upon
very perceptible pistol, Ham G
baconM'
Both" replied the "tenderfoot,
This was too much for human endu
ance. Drawing forth his pistol, tn
unsophisticated child of the mountain
exclaimed: mo SIGH epicurean go
mandism were allowed in that ar con
munity"
Being taken for Smith was an il
suit; being starved to death was an il
jury. 1t was time for me to go. Shal
ing the snow off my feet, madl
started fer the nearest big town.
CHANGED to be Salt Lake City. | e:
pected to remain a week tarried on
year. Kate Fields Washington.