The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1894-02-01
Mrs. Henry Ward Bseoher Discusses
the Question Of Family
Supremacy.
The Word Govern" Not Properly
Applied TO the Marriage
Relation.
The wifo's Love snd Confidence aad the
Husbsnd's Manliaess and Coartosy
Best safeguards.

wife has an ne care ana responsibility ia
managing the household she should be the
ruling power. - Others claim that "as tho
husband is usually the breadwinncr and
earns what his wife spends for the family
needs he should have tho deciding voice
IN an matters az importanoe-he should
govern.
Governi We dislike the use Of that
word lt should never be seen ia word or
act-never enter the heart between man
Gud wife. No woman can DE As happy a.
col intended marriage should make her
II her husbands love Is chiefly manifested
hy his disposition TO govern. Fow women,
however loving and self sacrificing, 10 en-
dowcd with good sense and Judgment, ever
yield their own prcconcaiyed ideas and
theories to their husbands Judgment and
Cictation. a man would despise = wom-
Hn who did. IL would strengthen the
bond between them O. discuss the matter
-ff the union IS so strol between them
that they can do so-iu a pleasant and
loving way. But wives sometimes. after
q few years. do unfortunately learn that
81 tcuds 20 more harmony 20 refrain from
arguing or discussion, even when their
own convictions have not changed. 10 is
great pity that such reticence should
ever Doe found the wisest way.
Ina copartnership concern, which the
ua-riagc relation certainly is, there may
De two heads or two governing powers,
the husband having control over his de
partment. the workshop, the wife ners,
the home
But in order that the home shall not be
come divided against itself lee there be
a. @ NaFaHna "a To-.
vice. and where Is brought the intuition
which il a pars Of the woman's nature 20
assist the sound. common sense which
should belong 70 the man.
But "a loving wife finds 10 no cross 90 al
low her husband 90 20 shape her life as
win best meet his tastes and wishes, pro
vided always that he does not lead her
aside from her conscientious conviction Of
duty. She should always bear in mind
that although she is his wife she is none
the less a responsible being; that she, aud
not her husband. at the last day must
stand or fall according 70 what sl,a has
done with the talents iutrusted TO herself
alone and not 10 her husband.
The best and purest elements of a wom-
ans character can never be so thoroughly
developed as by the love, confidence and
tenderness Of her husband. Giving this
with manly, loving courtesy, he will find
a rich reward ia such joy and comfort as
only happy woman's thoughtful care can
bring.
But II husband determines that his
will shall be the controlling motive for
their daily life and conduct. God be mcrci-
full 20 home thus governed This course
he does not call governing by his will, but
by his "rightful authority as head Of the
house" That way of defining his actions
sounds better. Nevertheless those four let
ters-w-i-l-l-better express his real mean
ing
A spirit Of compromise should govern
the home. A determination I'M each 90 have
his or her own way, even though carried
out in a quiet manner, win inevitably re-
suit in no peace. ln all matters of right
and justice let the principles of each be
founded on a rock In all matters Of un-
importance be yielding, one 20 the other
IL is just this assumption of rule, or
dominant power, that robs so many homes
OF the perfection that should be hardly
one step removed from the glory and per
fection Of heavenly life.
II all could realize the difference be-
tween the service the wife renders TO au-
thority and that poured out increasingly
and spontaneously for love alone. what a
change there would be i'm many home
No duty can then be thought hard, no toll
oppressive Her whole life il i0yfully
given for the comfort Of him whose every
word and act tells her she is most precious
IN his sight-uot simply valued because
she Is convenient but truly beloved and
held in all honor iu his heart
Her husbands love thus manifested
he will Ice her tower Of lfranut l-u strong