The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1894-06-01
BOYS

men WIZ LSIn -E4CmSS4FGS SDcldl
philosophers tell Us that the time is
rapidly coming when we shall have
no distinctive types of the genus
homo in this country They declare
that we are all tending toward ply
steal and mental uniformity and that
in few centuries from now we shall
all be a sort of human field of peas.
I think that this is kindly thrown
out as hint TO writer's who are en-
deayoring TO portray character;
reminder that if they have charac-
tiers whom they wish to delineate
they should do so at once or run the
risk of losing the opportunity. Hav-
ing mused over this hint and having
accepted it in all its warning signifi
canoe, / hasten to give the following
true story:
A number of years had elapsed
since there had been school in that
.sthin settlement of East Tennessee,
which lies some ten or fifteen miles
west of Tom Hughes English colony.
In the winter wild animals slept an-
der the old log school house. and in
the autumn rich clusters of grapes
hung from the caves. The BOYS had
grown up in so strong a contempt of
education that once, when a dapper
little vacation sophomore came up
from Nashville and attempted to
open school, they seized him rough
~ and. carrying him down into the
dense woods, bumped him urgently
against the uneven bark of red
oak tree. The sophomore, upon
gaining his liberty, caught up his
Derby hat and vanished.
Recently some of the more liberal
minded men of the community de-
cided that the youths and maidens of
the land must be educated. and,
knowing that their laudabie object
could not be accomplished by male
teachers, decided to engage a wo-
man. Miss Flora Hightower, an old
maid of frislky shyness and hemplike
hair, was engaged. She was so frail
in structure and so innocent Of eN-
preston that the anxious fathers
and mothers knew that their boys,
rough but manly, would not turn her
out of the house, and. moreover,
would rally in her defense. should
the girls. scarcely less rough than
the boys, attempt to lead her Off
into the woods and carry her through
that classic rural pastime of bump
ing. Among the students were
two boys, John and ALI GriggiehOrn,
sons of old Pete Grigglehorn, the
man who, some time ago. swOre on Il
wager that lie could butt Il we'll
known goat off the county bridge
When the surgeon had trepanned his
head with a piece of sheet-iror. he
remarked that he had ever been open
to conviction and that his estimate
of that goat had been revised.
Shortly after the school was
opened the. Orig glehorn boys fell in
love with the teacher. They were
so devoted and so Jealous that one
would not permit the other to see
her alone, and at evening, when she
set>out for the house where she
boarded, they marched along with
her, each bent upon choking off
what the other attempted to say.
One evening, when they had been
walking for some time in silence,
ALT remarked:
''Miss Flora. l wanter say that |
love you streng enough to move a
saw log. The truth IS. have seed a
good deal of calico in my life, but
that you air about the stunninest lot
of goods | ever seed. An now |
wanter say suthin' that | KANT git q
chance to say in private, that l want
you to fling up this here school an
marry me. l cont kere a snap
about education so long as | kin git
you. Hear me?'
Don't pay no attention to him,
Miss Flora" John spoke up before
she had time to reply. Hes allus
saying suthin' that he don't mean.
1t has been my aim ever sense | fust
seed you to marry you, an eff you
know which side yo' bread is butter
ed on you will let him slide. an take
me, for l am a honey from way up
the creek while he is a slouch from
the frog pond.
oh Miss Flora gfggled, chow
happy could l be with either were
luther dear charmer away"
You bet I'm charmer," said
ALT. I'm charmer enough to make
you a better husband than this
knock-kneed thing that is walkin
along with us"
That's all right" John rejoined.
''but when it comes to charmin' I'm
thar. "
''Oh, boys. l really don't know
which OF you to take. had thought
that should never be married.
had read so much of the unhappi-
ness of tho matrimonial state that l
had determined to live on in single
coutentment, but ah, my dears, you
have completely upset me.
.'But which one of us has upset
you the uost?" ALI demanded.
REALLY. my dear. l can not say.
Don't you sorter think l have?'
John asked.
'.Oh, my dear, you must not ask
me such a question. Both of you
make my heart gush with JOY. and
yet each of you makes me sad-ah.
sad, for 1 cannot marry but one of
you and do not know which one to
accept.
This recital with but slight varia-
tion. was gone through with day
after day. Old Pete. the boys
father, was deeply amused, and
sometimes he would come over to
the school-house at evening. and.
walking short distance behind the
lovers. would follow them home.