The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-06-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Asummer hit--Slapping mosquito.
Boston Courier.
A still alarm-"The revenue officers
are coming. Truth.
The only really true and steadfast
love is love of self.-Hallo.
Every bird pleases us with its lay
especially the hen. n.-Grip.
A masked ball A lemonade with
stick in it. it.-Philadelphia Record.
Don't talk too much. A stiff lower
jaw is as useful as a stiff upper lip. <
Puck.
Some people are never at home un-
til they are away from home. -Atchi-~
son Globe.
A beetle can draw twenty times its
own weight. So can mustard plas-
ter. Texas Siftings.
You will notice that the man who
is spoken of as superior to clothes"
wears mighty poor clothes. Puck.
Nothing is easier to understand than
how we shouldn't have made the mis-
takes we have seen other people make.
Puck.
The man who is willing to wait for
something to turn up is usually too
blind to see it when it comes along.
Puck.
Oddly enough the homeliest of old
maids are generally girls who were
matchless in their youth. Buffalo
Courier.
Uncle George you good at
guessing?" Little Dick-"Yes, in
deed. I'm head in the spelling class"
Good News.
He--"My love will have no ending,
dear. She--"Now, / say, George,
aren't you going to marry me, after
all?"-Tid-Bits.
The long-cut overcoat has proved
To him the best OF boons IS
Since underneath it he can wear
HIS baggy pantaloons.
New York Herald.
Musical composers should have no
trouble about proposing to their
sweethearts; they are used to making
overtures. Philadelphia Record.
An offer to bet is not au argument,
but it frequently has the effect of ST.
lencing your opponent and increasing
his respect for your position. -
Puck.
"h'ml" said tho burglar after he
had found that the safe was empty,
"this thing lacks whole lot of what
it was cracked up to be. "--lndianap.
oils Journal.
Twickenham-"How is your daugh-
ter's French tutor getting ON with
her?" Bitter every nicely, He has
got SO he can speak English tirst.rate.
Brooklyn Life.
81 wonder what makes Highly so I'm.
popular?' 81 give it up, but it's
fact. Why, that man is so disliked
that he can't even get bite when he
goes fishing. indianapolis Journal.
Nature abhors vacuum,
And art platitude
And this is mighty hard upon \
The gentle, harmless dude
Boston Transcript.
My son, if you are flush, associate
with the well-to-do, for they are not
likely to borrow; but if you are broke
keep on good terms with the poor, for
they are more willing to lend. --
| Puck.
''You beat us" said the defeated
yachtsman, "becauso you caught tho
breeze before we did. That's be.
cause we watched for it with baited
breath, replied the victor. - Chicago
/ Tribune.
Logical: Ellie" Mummy, why 10
they hunt lion an tigers?" Mamma
Because they kill the poor little
sheep, Eflie. " Efie (after a pause,-
Then why don't they hunt the
butchers, mummy ?'--Punch.
Young Fogy--"Dad, let's 60 into
the other room and see the phono-
graph. 1t repeats every word you
say" Old Fogy Just as though /
hadn't friends enough that do that
right along. ~ Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Nextdoor 81 have found out
one thing about that Mrs. Newcome.
Whoever she is she has never moved
in good society Mr.. Nextdoor-
''How do you know that?' Mrs. Next
| door --''She shakes hands as if she
meant it. Tit Bits.
Museum Manager 'I We got too
many of you freaks. I'll have TO dis
charge one of you. ludia Rubber
Man--"Let it be the Human Sala-
mander; he's used to the fire. Man
ager -"No! l think I'll bounce You"
Philadelphia Record
Heloise eight years old "What
an
Mother "Oh, Gcross the Atlantic, of
course. Bat you mustn't bother me"
Heloise -''Doas trans, then, always
mean across3" Mother "I suppose
it does, Now il You don't stop both
ering me with your questions / shall
send you right TO bod. Heloise Is