The Van Buren press., 1894-11-10
THAT BRUTE SIMMONS.
Why He Do Basely Deserted His
Economical Wife.

his wife ID still matter for profound
wondcrment among tho neighbors.
The other women had all along re.
garded him - . model husband, and
certainly MrA Simmons was = most
conscientious wife. She toiled and
shaved for that man, ~ any woman In
the whole street would have main
taipsd, fer moro than any husband
had right to expect And now this
WAS what she got for IL. Perhaps he
had suddenly gone mad.
Before she married Simmons, Mrs.
Simmons had been the widowed Mrs.
Ford Ford had got berth as donkey
man on , tramp steamer, and that
steamer had gone down with al hands
on the cape, . Judgment, the widow
woman feared, for long years Of
contumacy which had culminated in
tho wickedness Of taking to the sea,
and taking to Il % q donkeyman-an
fmmeasurable fall for q capable
engine-fltter. Twelve years o. Mrs
Ford had left her still child}ess, and
childless she remained % Mrs. Sim
mona
AZ for Simmons, he. II was held, was
fortunate In that capable wife. He
was moderately good carpenter and
Joiner, but no man Of the world-and
he wanted one. Nobody could tell
yhst might not have happened to
Tommy Simmons II there had been no
Mrs. Simmons to take care Of him. He
wa . meek and quiet man with q
6oyish face, and sparse limp whiskers.
He had no vices (even his pipe went
from him after his marriage), and Mrs.
Simmons had engrafted ON him sundry
exotic virtues. He went solemnly to
chapel every Sunday under tall hat,
and put penny-one returned to him
for the purpose out Of his weeks
wages Ia the plate. Then, Mrs.
Simmons overseeing, he took of his
best clothes, and brushed them with
solicitude and pains. On Saturday
afternoons he cleaned the knives, the
forks, the boots, the kettler, and the
windows, patiently and conscientious
~. On Tuesday evenings he took the
clothes to the mangling. And on
Saturday nights he attended Mrs
Simmons In her marketing, to carry
the parcelA
Mrs. Simmons own virtues were ma
tive and numerous. She was won
derful manager. Every penny of Tom
my's thirty.six or thirty-eight shillings
= week was bestowed to the greatest
advantage, and Tommy never ventured
to guess how much of 1t she saved.
Her cleanliness in housewifery was
prodigious to behold. She met Sim
mona At the front door whenever he
arrived, and then and there he
changed his boots for slippers, bal
ancing himself painfully on alternate
feet on the cold flags. This was be-
cause she scrubbed the passage and
doorstep turnAbout with the wife oi
the downstairs family, and because
the stair carpet was her own. She
vigilantly. supervised her husband oil
through the process of cleaning him
self" after work, 80 Is to come be-
tween her walls and the possibility Of
random splashes; and II, in spite Of
her diligence, spot remained to tell
the tale, she was at pains to impress
the fact on simmons memory, and to
set. forth at length all the circum.
stances Of his ungrateful selfishness.
In the beginning she had always es-
corted him to the ready-made clothes
shop, and had selected and paid for
his clothes, for the reason that mon
are such fools, and shopkeepers do as
they like with them. But she pres
emily improved on that. She found q
man selling cheap remnants. .on 4
street corner, and straightway she
conceived the idea of making Sim
mons clothes herself. Decision was
one of her virtues, and q suit Of up
roarious check tweeds was begun that
afternoon from the pattern. furnished
by an old one. More. 1t was finished
BY Sunday, when Simmons, overcome
by astonishment at the feat, was
induced in 1t and pushed on to chapel
ere he could recover his senses. The
things were not altogether comfort
able, he found; the trousers clung
tight against his shins, but hung loose
behind his heels; and when he sat it
was on . wilderness of hard folds and
seams. Also his wsistcoat collar
tickled his nape, but his coat-collar
went straining across from shoulder
to shoulder; while the garment itself
bagged generously below his waist
Csc made habit Of his discomfort,
but It never reconciled him to the chaff
of his shopmates; for rs Mrs. Simmons
elaborated successive suits, each one
modelled on the last, the primal acci-
dents Of her design developed into
principles, and grew even bolder and
more hideously pronounced. 1t was
vain for Simmons to hint-ss hint he
did-that he shouldn't like her to over
work herself, tailoring being bad for
the eyes; and there was = new tailor's
in the Mile End road, very cheap,
where "Ho, yus," she retorted,
you're very considrit, dessay, sittin'