davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
HE FIXED THE PIANO.

The Carpenter Was Cheaper Than
the Expert and Did it Thorough
ly.
A Utica family changed their resi-
dence from one street to another a few
days since. Among the household ef-
fects was a handsome square piano
the cover of which had in process OF
transportation been slightly cracked.
When the tuner came he noticed the
cracked cover, and told the lady Of the
house that he knew of a man who
could repair it SC that it would not be
noticed. There was a carpenter work
ing about the house, and as the cost
Of moving had been considerable, the
lady decided to have the carpenter do
the work. and informed the tuner that
he need not send his expensive expert.
Calling the carpenter she showed him
the damaged cover and Informed him
that he could easily fix it with glue.
The carpenter set about his task, and
the lady paid no further attention to
him.
A day or two ago she had company,
and was requested to play upon the
piano. Acquiescing, she went to the
instrument and attempted to lift the
lid. 1t would not bulge. Thinking
that it was locked, she spent ten min
utes looking for the key. Having found
it. she learned that her surmise was
incorrect. Failing after repeated and
strenuous efforts, to lift the lid, she
was compelled to forgo the pleasure
Of entertaining her guests in this way.
When her husband came home he ex-
ercised his muscle, but to more avail.
After three Or four trials he began IN
examination, and found that the car
penter had labored under the mistak-
en- notion that the lid ought not to
rise, and had, accordingly, placed a
thick coating of glue between it and
that part of the piano upon which it
touched. TO make the job undeniably
complete he further secured it by driv-
ing a tenpenny nail through it.-Utica
Observer.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

his friends were Mortified at a violent
outbreak of kissing from one corner of
the auditorium. Investigation showed
that the kissing auditor was nole other
than Lamb himself, and when, after
the curtain had fallen on the first scene,
he was asked for his motive in starting
the storm Of disapprobation, he STAN
mered out:
IL was of-fuf-fraid they t-tuk-took
me ito bubble the author"
For such a man surely this could be
no real defeat.-Harper's Young Peo-
pie.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
Too sanxuine Altorether.

As DR.. Blister was driving out in the
suburbs of Dallas, a lady ran out Of a
house, and halting the doctor, asked:
Doctor, how Is old Mrs. Peters CON-
ing on?"
"She is a sick woman, but I think
she will pull through all right" re-
piled the doctor.
"You do! Why, her son-in-law, Bill
Smith, told me there was no chance
whatever for her recovery"
"yVell, you see Bill is a hopeful kind
Of q fellow. He always looks IN the
bright side Of things.r
She shook her head sadly.
Reflect" she objected. n am rich
and you are pOor. q
The youth tossed back his 1owing
locks proudiy
'sLoyes he exclaiIned I'D the
shri.1aks a yalnsA nlll adult al
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
A Boys Comp ,sition.

Breath Is made of air. We breathe
with Ii lungs, our lights, u liver
ard our kidneys. If it weren't for our
D. we should die when we sleep.
O cath keeps the life a-going
thro our nose when we are asleep.
Boys nat stay in the rooom all day
should not breathe. They should wait
until they get out Of doors. Boys in q
room make bad unWholesome air.
They are carboncide. Carboncide is
poisoner than mad dogs. A heap Of
soldiers was in q black hole In India
and a carboncide got into that hole ind
killed every M Of them afore morn
ing. Girls kill their breath with cor
sits, that squeezes the diagram. Girls
can't boiler or run like boys because
their diagram is squeezed too much.
Il I was a girl / would rather be a
boy, 80 I could boiler and run and have
big diagram. r.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

It was the Judgment day, and Ga
briel and st. Peter were. laying out the
plan Of operations.
do you think we car handle the
crowdW said Gabriel.
'"That depends upon the force" an
swered Peter, "but perhaps to avoid
the rush we had better call them in
by sections. Now, suppose you take
the very poor people firstw
'Then they will all get the front
seats"
There is something in that" replied
Peter.
"And according to our teachings, you
know" continued Gabriel, rich and
poor were TO be on an absolute equal
ity."
II know. I know" answered Peter.
Theoretically you are right, but in or.
der to get along without any friction
you had better leave the people with
the big monuments until the last call"
Boston Budget.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

DcAn1t1Oh Oh u Tcu11AA110ks
M man." said the woman who was
leaning across the fence, lis one of
these here pessimists."
"And what's that?" asked the other
woman.
"Why, one of these here fellows that
is always sure bad luck is a-coming to
him and is mighty surprised when 1t
comcs."-Exchange.
Sell Their Hair.
do we have many girls come to sell
their hair? Well, I should say so, but
we don't make a business of buying
on account Of the risks we would have
to run. I have had girls come to me
and offer to sell their hair as it was on
their. heads. No, they don't get good
prices-$1.W to $3.50 being as much as
I EVER gave. l know of one case, how
ever, where a we'll known society wo-
man took q fancy to the hair of a
young lady, she met accidentally, and
she paid the highest price l have ever
known for a head of hair. The young
lady in question had a luxurious growth
Of golden brown hair, and one day she
was approached Ivy THIS lady, who was
compelled to use false hair, who said
to her: Miss -, If at any time you
desire to part with your hair you can
find q customer in me- The young
lady was in need Of pin c.cney at the
time aud said, Wen, I am not particu-
lar about keeping it now, MS 1t Is a lit
tie too light for my taste So she
agreed to have her hair cut, and in
payment received $3.50. IL girls could
always get such a sum FOR their dow
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
Little Johnny Knew.

Sunday School Teacher-Children, DO
you know the house that is open to all
to the poor, the rich, the sad, the
happy; to man and woman; to n old
and the young? Do you know the house
I mean?
Little Johnny-Yeth, nam, I know.
"Well, Johnny, what house Is IT.
1.-THE station house."-Taggart's
Times.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

Winter wheat, o Bushels Pei Acre
Wonderful reports come in on Salser's
new winter wheat and monster winter rye.
Over 2,O00 farmers planted these grains
last fall and now report yields Of 80 to 20
bushels wheat, and over GO bushels rye per
acre. The way 1t looks 100 bushels win b
reached. Send to John A. Salzer Seed Co,
La Crosse, Wis, &c postage stamps, tor
samples Of this wheat and rye and fall
catalogue. W
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

Doc Seltzer-"They were sayin' down
at the post-ofice yer had a lot Of
tramps cnttin' an chopin wood"
Farmer Jones-'Wa-al, now,> eff I
can fool them fellers down ter the post
Office with them stuffed dummies,
tramps are goin' to be mighty scarce
In this neighborhood, I tell yer."--Judge
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

Whether or pleasure bent or business, take
on every trip a bottle Of Syrup of Figs,
as 1t acts most pleasantly and effectually
ON the kidneys, liver and bowels, prevent
ing fevers, headaches and other forms Of
sickness. For sale In SOC. and 81 bottles
by all leading druggists. Manufactured by
the California Fig Syrup Co. only.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

What At ocean Of trouble can come out Of
q gallon tug.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
Dressed the Babies.

I know a mother who is going to
ruin the health of her baby in her ex-
cessive care for it's clean clothes. The
poor little thing never gets to creep
yer the floor after the dancing sun
beams or to kick its dimpled legs in
the air in a vain end aavor to catch
its ten pink toes. Not a bit of it. 1t
is fed at a certain hour, which Is all
right, but afterward it is placed in it's
crib, where its long dresses, >tarched
till they crack, are Strengthened out as
smooth as pillowslips, and there it
lies with its legs piniOned down by
heavy skirts, it's muscles growing fab
by from inaction and its blood slug
gish. If perchance it is permitted to
sit up, it is tied into a high chair and
it's long skirts drag down on it's poor
little toes till one would think they
would sprout corns.
The thing to do with a healthy baby
Is to have it clean twice a day-when
it goes to bed at night and when it
dresses fresh about the middle of the
day. The healthiest babies in the world
get dressed in the morning for all day.
Just as o as the child begins to kick
and wants to get at it's feet it ought
to be put in short clothes and put on
the floor to work out it's own saliva
ton. Its muscles were given it to use
and it will put them to the test if you
will give it a chance. The mother who
thinks more of her baby's clothes than
to have the clothes left on her hands
eternally clean, and 1t serves her right,
too.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

IIaI1's Catarrh Cure nYT
10 taken internally. Price, 75c. "a"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

"fSnason's Magic Corn Salvs."
Warranted te cure or money refunded. AK your
druggist foe 1t. Price ID cents.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

BY VtOIenC0
little 10 accomplished In this civilised era,
but with the gentle laxative, Hostetter's
Stomach Rltters, the bowels are relieved
without abruptness or subsequent weaken
ness and kidney trouble yield to this relis-
BILE curative, foremost also among .tnvig.
oranls and recommended by physicians.
vtnced.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

The man who gives his child to the street
will give the world q thief.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

E~aeEeE,an's q nphor lc" With 0lycsrine.
ChilblaiDs. Plies. &C. CO. Clark Co. New Haven. Ct.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

To the eyes Of q mule short ears are q
deformity.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

Kari's Glove. Root Tea,
The great Blood purifier gives freshness and cleArneol
totheC Complexion and cures Constipation. &c. SOC. o.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
BY Violence

He who would be q great soul In the fu-
lure must be q great soul now.-Emers0n.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

It ' hurts truth any to be slapped in
the face.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
When TRAVELLING.

The right kind Of goodness is always good
for something.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
Gascon. ana Gasconades.

In days gone by there lay III the
Southwestern portion Of France the
Province Of Gnscony. This has now
teen divided into four sections, which
are known as the departments Of Lan-
des, Gers, Ariege and the Upper Pyre
nees, containing, It is estimated, no
less than q million inhabitants. A great
regularity Of these natives is their IRE
qaently manifested tend ancy to bOQst,
and 20 strongly developed has the cuaL
ity of the blnstcrer been q them from
time immemorial hatsboth our own
ana tho French language haye been =
riched ~ words derived from the name
sof the province. Thus GascoAsiss
set down IL the dictionaries - sboast-sI
~ 81 4 braecart: = y~ainglorioas per
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

08VNV W ASt1Au H."
"Here at last Is information from q hieh
medical source that must ,pork .ronders with
this generation of men"
The book fully describes a method by which
TO attain full vigor and manly power.
A method by which to end all unnatural
drains on the system.
To cure nervousness. lack Of self-control,
To exchange a faded and worn nature for
one OF brightness. ~buoyancy and power.
70 cure forever effects of excesses. over
To give full strength, development and
tone to every portion and organ OF the body,
Age no barrier. Failure impossible. 2,O6o
references.
The book is purely medical and scientific, use
omtv , " c mesS T. seekers invaluable to ne"
A departing man. who had applied to us,
soon after wrote:
Well, I tell you, that first day Is one RI
never forget. I just dubbed With TOY. I
wanted to bug everybody and toll them my
old self had Gied yesterday and nv new seff
was born today. Why didn't you tell me when
I first wrote that I would find it this Wayf'
And another thus:
III you dumped q CARLOAD Of gold at mp
feet 1T would not bring such gladness into my
Life as your method has Geos"
S IL S'ea ear e ST. p1s 81 ) H sp ~ ssk fS6 he
Refer to this paper and the company promises
to send the book. in sealed envelope, without
any marks, and entirely free. unt0 II 10 we'll
introduced.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

son." and n yascouade in English. or
a gasconnade in French, is the name
gwen t all boastful, wanting talk.
FOR instance, the dictionary of the
French Academy, to illustrate the
meaning of ~gasconnade, gives as an
example,: III dit quill Sc battrait con
ire dix hommes; c'est gasconnade"
Il. e.. He says he would fight ten
men; It's a gasconade."
VI course, however, the fame of gas
conades does not depend entirely on
mere fat boasting like this, but on the
intermlxture of wit and piquancy with
the most prodigious self-exaltation. The
following are some examples we have
met with.
"A Gascon preacher stopped short in
the pulpit. 1t was in vain that he
scratched his head; nothing would come
out. my friends" said he as he walk
ed quietly down the pulpit stairs-"my
friends, 1 pity you, for you have lost
a fine DISCOURSE"
A young Gascon arrived at Parts for
the first time. It was In summer, and
he went to see the Tuileries Immediate
~ on his arrival. When he ;aw the
Gallery of the Louvre, Upon my 1on-
or" said he, II like it vastly. Me-
thinks I see the back of my fathers
stables"
A Gascon officer hearing some one
celebrating the exploits of a prince,
who, in an assault upon a town, had
killed six men with his own hand,
"Bah!' said he, Il would have you
to know that the very mattresses I
sleep upon are stuffed with nothing else
hut the whiskers Of those whom I
have sent to slumber in the other
world!!'
A Gascon, in proof of his nobility, as
serted that in his fathers castle they
used, no other iirewood but the batons
OF the different marechals of France
of his family.-EIarper's Young People.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

Curious GAGCtE1SAk o.
Petroleum spirit, or benzene, is large
" used in the silk ond wool industries,
and in chemical cleaning works, as
a solvent for greasy impurities. It is
extremely volatile and inflammable,
and has often been suspected of being
the cause Of those mysterious fires
which occasionally break out in works
and factories where it is much used.
The ignition of this spirit has now been
shown to be Spontaneous" and to be
caused by electrical excitation. In GER
tain states of the atmosphere, especially
when it is cold and dry. the spirit be
comes excited, and exhibits sparks and
flashes of light, to the accompaniment
of cracking sounds, and the ignition
of the spirit may take place at any
moment. kissing, in Germany, rec
ommends that q small quantity of some
kind of soap, soluble in petroleum.
shall be dissolved in it, and maintains
that this will prevent the electrical
exudation, even when so little as 2-1Oths
to 3-1Oths is added. The use of soap
in spirit that is to a state Of excitation
always averts the danger of ignition.
This form Of activity in petroleum
spirit Is never observed IN moist or
warm weather, the conditions of which
tend to carry off or prevent the mani
festation of electricity, and the soap
probably provides the necessary moist
ure, water. being. otherwise non-misci-
BILE with petroleum spirit.
When all else Is lost, the future still re-
mains.-Bovee.
That which Is most deadly the devil often
makes most beautiful.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
Finding n Treas

Finding n Treasure.
1t lay for a long time on the edge of
the little brook, deep in the forest,
sparkling like a tiny fame in the sun
light, and growing still in the dusk
like the bright eye Of some fairy hid
den in the grass.
One day, when a very bright sun
beam danced to and fro across it, the
tortoise stopped to look %curiously at it.
He was a slow fellow at his best,
and fingered SO long that Bunny stop
ped, too, to see what it could be; and
the squirrel from the fencerail gave
up scolding at the crows to ask them
what was to be seen. The crows them
selves are famous for chatting, so in
less time than I can tell it, they had
spread the new to all the forest crea-
lures.
Its not good to eat" said the tor
toise, "for l tasted it, and it's hard
and cold"
You cannot bite it, anyhow" said
Bunny. Il would much rather have a
carrot"
If it were a nut it would have a
SHE'LL" said the squirrel; 'but I see it
is not that"
1T might be a new kind of corn"
said the crow, and one of them flew
down to pick at 1t.
"Pshaw" said he, 1T Is harder than
a stone, and nothing like a kernal of
corn; we can do nothing with it,"
1T is certainly very pretty" said the
robin; "but I could not make a nest Of
it, and 1 for one would much rather
have a cherry"
perhaps the owl can tell us what
it u.s." meekly suggested the mole; II
found it under the soil, when l was
digging out my burrow."
So the squirrel was sent to wake the
owl, who sat doing in his home in the
hollow tree, says st. Nicholas.
Down he came, stumbling, blink
ing sleepily and yawning.
Here is something" said BURY.
"Yellow!" puts in the crows all to-
gether. Hard" said the tortoise.
VERY bright and shiny" said the squir-
rel. "And no use to any n Of u.s."
said the mole. what is it?"
Don't all talk at once" yawned the
owl. what q stupid set you are! l
know what it is; gold!'
Just then a footstep rustled the dry
leaves, and all the forest folk scamper-
ed away to hide. Peeping out they
saw a man walking slowly along the
brook. Just then his eye fell IN the
glittering little ball; and crying out for
joy he seized it eagerly, turned it over
and yer in the sunlight, and after hid
ing II carefully in his breast. hurried
away.
We'll. 1 never!" chartered the squir-
rel, rlnning from his hiding place in
the oak tree. He seemed to know what
to do with it,"
All Of the crows fluttered away to tell
of the strange treasure found by the
brook.
1.-The owl is a wonderful felloW!'
said the mole. HE seems to see every
thing. 1 suppose it is because his eyes
are so big. But I wish I had thought
to ask him what 1t was good fort"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

The world IL full Of besgars who do not
AAH for money.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
Recovered His Memory in Old Age.

HIS WennOTy IN OAu fA8cs
Authentic instances Of old people
who have recovered lost sight, hearing
or speech, or who have grown a third
set Of teeth or a supplementary crop of
hair, are not uncommon. But cases in
which perfect memory has been re-
gained, after being impaired almost to
the verge of extinction by paralytic
shock, are rare. This, however has hap
peEed to William McEntee, an old man
of "a, residing on North Twenty-eighth
street. During the recent storm he in
sisted upon taking his daily walk, and
in consequence was laid up with a Sc
we're cold. While sitting in his arm
chair after his recovery, a day or two
since, he found himself humming an
air which he had not heard since he
was a boy in the emerald isle. Then
he began to tell a story which the old
song recalled, and to the amazement
of his family he went on to recite Incl
dents and events not only of long ago,
but of more recent dates, of which,
before his brief illness, he had no recol-
Observation-Disclosures Record.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

That which Is most deadly the devil often
makes most beautiful.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

:. MOST PEKFECI MADE.
Acme Grape Cream Of Tartar Powder. Pc,
ian Ammonia, Alum, or any other adultesanG
40 YEARS THE STANDARD.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28

When all else Is lost, the future still re.
m~ains.-Bovee.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-28
We WILL MAIL POSTPAID
q fine Panel Picture, entitled
nAE0lTATloN

oIchon90 Tor u LkI40 IS0
Heads, cut from Lion Co2ee
and s3-cent stamp e
.av postage. Write for LIS g
ri other 6ne pfssniums, inolslos
books, . knife, game, 80.
WootsoM 0Pice CO..
80 Huron e., TOLEDO, OxIos
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-10-27
THAT ROORBACk EDITORIAL

The Chieftain leased editorial space
in its last Sunday mornings edition to
some jackleg lawyer to defend the
judicial gang of corruptionists on the
republican ticket from the righteous
attack OF an indignant public that has
decided to make the judiciary II place OF
honor and decency, and to rclegate the
odious Taminany politics Of the court
house to oblivion.
That the iackleg lawyer who wrote
the roorback editorial was excited
and II novice at such work was plain,
and that he WAS aided and abetted by
n very badly scared clique of other
would be politicians Of his ilk was also
apparent. II the Elwell-Dixon. Seaver-
Mccoy alpole-k mig Ter
crowd could have witnessed the one
hundredth part OF the amusement the
said roorback editorial caused all
over town they would have retired to
the solitude of Wally's headquarters
to reflect in bitterness upon the lost
opportunity OF golden silence.
When the gang made the Chieftain
say that from sense OF decency it was
.impeiled TO fall into line and hell "re
deem the state" everybody roared with
laughter, and come wag told the story
of the quack doctor with original ideas
who wanted to disinfect sick room with
the quintessence OF a rotten egg, while
another inquired what the South Caro-
lima whisky troubles had to do with the
Chinese war. When the editorial
writer admitted that Judge Elwell may
have made mistakes" the people winked
a compassionate sort of wink, and when
the editorial" mentioned something
about every republican standing shoulder
to shoulder, the people INDUCED in
more good natured hilarity rs visions of
of last falls election with Bolter Ell
well, Bolter Dixon. Bolter Collins and
Boilers Seaver and Mccoy arose before
them. The gang learned when too late
that verify, silence is golden