Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-05-10
PiTH AND POINT.


-Johnny-'.Pa, did you know ma be-
fore yon were married?" Pa with a
sight though. l did, johnny
Boston Transcript.
-Fred-'-Cheer up! You may win
her yet" Arthur-'.No; there's no
chance for me. Why, she even refuses
to go to the theater with me. Truth
Look at old Mr.. Jones over there
soliloquizing." What. Talking to
himself? l guess not. He is SO deaf
he can't hear himself talk."-Texas
Siftings
-She-'sHow the fashions changed
He-.'There isn't much change in the
pocket-books, except they are worn
shorter and lighter this year."-Texas
Siftings.
Creditor Ito editor)-"How's col
lections these days?- Editor-'sSlow.
sir, slow! I've got good shotgun, but
can't get anybody to credit nae for
shot."-Atlanta Constitution.
Mrs. Norris-''Since I have been
married have had only one wish un
eratified." Mr.. Norris-''And what is
that, my dear?" Mrs. Norris-''That
/ were single again. Tit
-s.Sometimes," said Uncle Eben.
Ger man fattahs hisse'f dat he's feel
ing sympathy wifi de unfortunate,
when he's jis drorin' comparisons, an
congratulatin' hisse'f" - Washington
Star.
81 wouldn't want to be in you,
Shoes" remarked the rich Chicago
girl to the poor Philadelphia girl. ''Oh.
that would be impossible" replied the
Quaker miss. surveying her daint.
oot.-Philadelphia Record.
The Other Way. - Artist = "By
love, I don't like it: they've skied my
picture Consoling Friend-''That's
all right, my boy. If you are as bad
rs that picture is you'll never be
skied detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Nexdoor-''I have found on
one thing about Mrs. Neweome. Who.
ever she is, she has never moved in
good society,"" Mr.. Nexdoor-''How
do you know THAR Mrs. Nexdoor-
''She shakes hands as if she meant it. p"
-Tit-Bits.
miss Flimsy fluff is very gloomy
said one mem Der of the opera company
to another. "Why?" "You see, she's
really fond of her husband and hates
to be divorced from him. But she feels
that her art demands t."-Washington
Star.
Husband (vituperatively)-'' was
fool when I married you, Nary
Wife (quietly)-''Yes. Tom, 1 know
you were! But what could I do? You
seemed my only chance, and thought
then that you might improve little
with time!"-Grip.
Weary Watkins-''I think, if 1 had
my life to live over again, I'd go into
the astronomer business" Hungry
Higgins-''Wot sort of thing is that?"
Weary Watkins-''W'y. iist watchin'
the stars. Feller could tend to that
sort of job layin' on his back. INDIAN
apolis Journal.
why, how are you, old man?'
cried Barlow, genially, as he met Eos
ter at the club. Hear your engage.
ment is announced; let me congratu'
late YOU" Thanks" returned Foster,
in bashful manner, as he looked
doubtfully at Barlow. THAT'S the
thing" rejoined Barlow, heartily. You
know what the poet says-'Into each
life some ra-', mean, love must fall.
I've had mine" $500" queried Foster,
in a tone of sympathy. YES" Barlow
answered, gazing at the ceiling. lone
summer decided to marry the fairest
girl on earth. An Undine-a Brunhilde
-a-a-a daisy, in fact. The admired
of all men-the envied of all girls OF
good family-wealthy in her own right
and perfect in every way. As have
said. determined to marry her, but
Fate interviewed" ''Poor chap!" sighed
Foster. "Why was it?" Foster" re.
turned Barlow, slowly, gazing earnest
ly at his friend. II couldn't find ths
girl. '-Harper's Bazaar.