West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-03-01
nIs rA Is pIacoiiRAnEn.

.'Say, you leave here mighty quick"
said the grocery man To the bad boy as
he camo In with his arm I'm sling and
backed upagainst tho stove 10 get warm.
Everything has gone wrong since you
got TO coming here, and think you are
n regular Jonah. | find sand In my
sugar, kerosene In the butter, tho cod
fish is all picked Off. and there Is some
thing wrong every time you come here.
Now, you leave"
II aint'no Joncr." said the boy rs no
wiped his nose on his coat sleeve and
reached into n barrel for snow apple
II never swallcred no whale. Say, do
you believe that story about joiner being
in the whales belly all night2 don't
The minister was telling aboutit at Sun
day school last Sunday and asked mo
what thought joiner was doing while
ho was In there, and told him inter
preted the story this way--that the
whale was fixed up inside with upper
and lower berths. like sleeping car, and
joiner had lower berth. and the porter
made up the berth as soon as joiner
came in with bis satchel, and joiner
pulled off his boots and gave them 70 the
porter to black and put his watch un-
der the pillow and turned i'm. Tho boys
in Sunday school all LATED. and the min
lister said ! was "A bigger fool than Pa
WAS, and that was useless. If you 10
back on me now, won't have n friend
except my chum and n dog, and | swear
by my halidom that never put no sand
In your sugar or kerosene in your but
tor.
81 admit the picking Off OF tho cod
6sh. but you can charge IL TO PA, the
same as You did the eggs that pushed
my chum over into last summer, though
thought you did wrong I'm charging
Christmas prices for dog days eggs.
When my chum's Ma scraped his pants,
she said there was not an egg represent
ed on there that was less than two years
old. The Sunday school folks have oil
gono back on me since ! put kyan pep
per on the stove when they woro singing
Little Drops OF Water, and they all
had to go out doors and air themselves,
but didn't mean TO let the pepper drop
on tho stove. WAS just holding IL over
tho stove 20 warm IL when my chum hit
tho funny bone Of my elbow. Pm says
am n terror to cats. Every time Pa says
anything II gives me q now idea tell
you PA has got n great brain. but some
times he don't have II with him. When
ho said was terror 10 cats. thought
what fun there Is In cats. aud mo and
my cbum went 70 stealing cats right off,
and before night we had I cats caQed.
We had one in n canary bird cage, three
In Pas old hatb0xes. three In Mas hand
box, four in valiscs. two In a trunk and
Tho rest IN closet up stairs.
THAT night Pa said no wanted mo to
stay homo because tho committee that
Is going to get up n noystcr supper in the
church was going to meet NJ our house,
and they might want 20 send me on er-
rsnds. asked him IL nay chum couldnt
stay, too. cause he is tho healthiest in
fant 20 run after errands that over was.
and Pa said he could stay, but wo must
remember that there mustn't 10 no
monkey business going on. I told him
there shonldn't be no monkey business,
but didn't promise nothing about cats.
Well. sir, you'd died. The COMMITTEES
was In the library by the back stairs, and
mo and my chum got tho catboxcs all
together At the top Of tho stairs, and we
took them all out and put them in
clothesbasket. and just ~ the minister
was speaking and telling what = great
good was done by these noyster sOciables
in bringing the young people together
and taking their minds from the wicked
ness Of the world and turning their