Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-09-23

saturated with arnica, while one lobe
of his whiskers had been burned of,
giving him a detected and lopsided ap
pe%arance.
ALSO, my friend, you are indeed In
a sad plight" said q bloody but ener'
getic Anarchist who had just escaped
from threatened employment, and whc
sat by the roadside administering kero'
sene oil TO his gun. ''Pray, what has
betide you, gentle friend, that you should
look so rocky while all nature is so CAV
Who could have given you such 8
jolt ?"
"Alach" quoth the Increment, "goot
stranger, / was on my way to the busy
mart, where l had an appointment Il
decline a dividend, when | was set upor
by a party calling himself Organized La
Dor and beaten most shamefulIy. ! have
but Just escaped with my life and a
valuable diamond, which / swallowed,
| am indeed most fortunate to find you
here, for / feel quite faint from loss OF
blood, and you look like one who
would not stir abroad without having
about him what Is called a North Amer
lean nip"
"In good sooth," said the Anarchist,
removing a burdock burr from his
beard thoughtfully and then putting 1t
back again, 81 fear that liquor might
raise your temperature at this time an
bring on pyamia, or blood poisoning.
But let me ask you, Did you not cry out
Justify for the police when you were al
tacked?"
MARRY, but I did, insomuch that the
wood RAM again with the cutlery"
And did you not enc your alarm
and cry out again and again?"
VIOLA, Mon Dieu, good wight, but
did shrek encore! Plenty, heap encore
Then | did so yet again, but the park
seemed deserted even by the nursegirls,
and the police, too, were down town
holding q pantsta reunion, so that me
voice came back to NE q mere wailinR
echo"
And you got no response whatever
oueried the Anarchist as ne reached ar
inside the sleeve Of his coat for the
sleeve of an imaginary shirt.
"NCne whatever, alas! good varlet,'
said the Increment sadly, land IL wa
thus that they done me up"
',And was there no wayfarer to hear
your outcry|"
None, alas!"
.'Well," said the Anarchist arIsino
with some emotion and taking a draf'
OF reddish wassail from a concealed re
ceptacle. THAT being the case, methink:
I will disturb you a moment for wha'
clothing you have about your person,
Clean linen is an offsnse against free
dom, so l will trouble you to hand II
over TO me, and / will Don take of
that glazing air OF whiteness that Is sc
trying TO the eye"
Whereupon he smote the Unearned
Increment by means OF a pant leg filled
with geology.
A week later a police captain, while or
his gay to look at q SIS, 600 residence
which he was about TO buy for his wife
il being the anniversary Of his first yea
as captain, be noticed that some one II
| the park was seeking TO attract his gazt
silently by throwing out little hints upot
the summer air to the effect that he wa.
dead and desired attention.
He stepped aside to look.
Living beneath a small shrub, exposed
to the merciless sun, bruised, beaten
| and discolored, lay the remains OF the
Unearned Increment.
Moral-Wealth has In this life a rocky
read to travel, and 80 who vainly Year,
for crowded and overlooking Golfers
should remember that the day viii
| come when there will be a grand reck
oning also with the rich and when u
| shall surely have the laugh on Dives.
Lazarus may have his sad and hope
less days aud d~isagreeable nights treat
ing his eczema, but what 10 a short life
| time OF toll and sorrow compared witt
eternal dog days bareiooted on the hoi
payements OF the bad place?
Two Little Boys In Blue" From
| tenac, write: "We have a debating
| club here, aud recently we have taker
I'D the question, RESOLVED, That IL II
not justi6able to deck tha tails o.
horses What Is your W opinion?"
Ny own opinion Is that it not justi
fable. but more honored In be breach
than in the observance. Il ID will per
NIT . delicatqnvnn caused by Pt wealth
err and overw4 x.
It's a fashi44 which is fee defend
edfmh e people only Ny owr
. locked hors nj