Crawford avalanche., 1894-05-31


Brother Gardner, as he arose with
letter in his hand, II hev received
dis yere epistle from de State depart
ment Of Alabama AKIN me II dis
Limekiln Club has motto, an II
wasn't ober two days ago dat one of
our moas' prominent members put
de same queshun. OF co'se we hev
mottol Way back in de dim past,
when dis club numbered only seben
pussons and a dawg, we invented an
adopted motto an hev stuck to 1t
eber sense. We doan' parade 1t befo'
de public on ebery possible occashun,
but it hangs up in de library, whar
all members kin see it, an must
confess surprise dat an ole member
like Sir Isaac Walpole should be in
doubt about it. De keeper of de seal
will bring in de motto an display 1t
from de platform.
Lord CORVALLIS Johnson, who holds
the office of keeper, retired to the
library and presently returned with
the banner, on which was emblaz-
oned the motto as follows:
''Dar am no doubt some among
ye," resumed the president, "who
doan' exactly understand the meanin'
of dem words, which ar mostly Latin.
Ad vicum bonis has four meaning
one for each season Of de y'arr In de
Spring it means, Hunt fur roots an
put in some sulphur an make yo'self
q tonic In de Summer it means,
'Doan' swaller de seeds of water
millyon widout chawin.' In de Fall
it means, 'Whar yo' gwine to git yo'r
meat2' an in de Winter it means,
Nobody can be real happy widout
chilblains.' My idea in adoptin' dat
motto was to git sunthin' to kiver de
hull ground an be wuth de money.
an up to de present time l hain't
heard do fault found wild it. / will
take advantage of dis occashun to say
dat our notices fur 1894 am now
printed an ready to nail up, an will
be in place befo' de next meetin'. I
will read dem, as follows, an in q
loud voice:
Honesty am de best policy, an
dawgs not allowed in de hall 'cept on
extra cold nights.
Truth must prevail, but de liar
seems to git along about as well az
anybody else.
''In union dar am strength, an
roastin' cheese on de stove am posi-
lively forbidden.
( "Seek to gain de respect Of yo'r
feller men but always charge at least
6 per cent. interest when yo' lend
money.
DO not put off till tomorrow
what yo' kin do to-day, an in case of
fire in Paradise hall let the president
git out fust.
Respect ole aige, an any pusson
breakin' pane of glass in any of de
windows will be expected to promptly
settle for de same widin 30 days.
Rather than speak evil do not
speak at all, an any money found on
de floor arter de meetin' adjourns
should be handed to the treasurer for
safe keepin.'
"Kind words are like dewdrops on
de thirsty meadow, but no member
of dis club should agree to whitewash
kitchen ceilin' fur less dan half
dollar.
"De above notices ar all we shall
need fur de comm var" said
Brother Gardner as he laid them
aside, IAN dey won't be put up wild
de ideah of doin' any pertickler good.
All l shall ask Of yo' is to remember
de motto Of de club. Oar was time
when 1 believed in notices. believ-
ed dat de cooper who hung up in his
shop de motto, 1T ar better to be
honored dan to be rich, orter to be
patronized above all odders. l give
him an order fur two cider bar'ls, an
both leaked, an he lied about it. I
believed dat de shoemaker who put
up de motto, If l cannot be rich,
I'll be honest, was de man to make
me a par of butes. He made 'em,
an nebber had a poorer par. He not
only put in de cheapest leather, but
he left out half de pegs when pegs
war only five cents a quart. A good
many vars ago, when rag car.
pet an set of cain chairs war con-
sidered good 'nuff for anybody's par
lor, an when sassafras tea and barley
could be found on de tables of de
rich, notices war all right. Dey
seemed to make de meat 60 furder
an de apples sass to taste better.
But in dis day an aige, when cherry
body goes around wild chip on his
shoulder an dollar in his pocket,
notices doan' count. Only yesterday
/ was in house wild God Bless Our
Home 'ober de doah, Love One. An
other ober second, an Keep Yo'r
Heart Pure ober third. De hus-
band had run away wild de hired gal,
de wife had sot de house afire to git
de insurance on de furnichure, an
de chilpen war pulling hair an tor
turin de family cat. Some of yo'
wondered why ! moved last Fall. 1t
was bekase a family wild motto
moved in next doah. Dey put up de
motto Of "Love Thy Neighbor as
Thyself, an it wasn't week before
I missed half cord Of wood an fur
of my fattest chickens. 1t was only
a question of time, il dey stuck to
dat motto, when dey would git de
rest of de chickens an clean out my
cellar, an 80 moved away an got
alongside man who hasn't eben a
Gospel hymn book in de house. Let
us now ad vicum bonis to our homes"
New York Recorder.
Defense Of the MonsrsI.