Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-03-20
A FATHERLY TALK.

ing the painted cocoanuts off the painted trees on the drop curtain, but with the aid of the city marshal we had them calm ed down when the curtain went up on the play. For the next quarter of an hour there was perfect order. Then old Bill Parker got up and demanded that grave digger and a ghost be trotted out. He was followed by Bill Phelps, who wanted to see Uncle Tom and little Eva. Then Enos White put in demand for clog dance, with a girl leaping over precipice be- cause she didn't want to marry her grand father, and a minute later the large and cultured audience was in an uproar. Even then, bad as things looked, the manager could have stemmed the tide by sending out the heroine clothed in flesh colored tights to do some high kicking and sing "Will Mother Get Married Again'" or "Nancy's Joined the Angels" He was not the man for the occasion, however. The curtain went down, and the Shake speareans made break for the alley and the hotel and an hour later got out of town alive. The damage to the theater, principally caused by promiscuous shoot ing, is about $50, but we feel that we got off lucky.
 We now wish to give due and emphatic notice to all dramatic combinations which may head this way that we shall take no more risks. A play to please our people and send them home with the feeling tEat life is worth living and that Arizona must be admitted to the Union or down comes somebody's shanty must be made up about as follows:
 ACT I.-Say about five scenes to the act. The villain must be discovered at an early period, in order to give the boys a chance to get on to his shape. Two or more dances and songs. Work in slugging match or throw the heroine over cliff. Would be well to have a ranch attacked by Indians.
 ACT 1.-The plot must thicken, or some of the boys will begin to get tired and shoot at the lamp chimneys. Three songs and dances in this act. Might have two cowboys lasso 8 steer, but don't attempt to work off stuffed steer on the audience. A shipwreck or an earthquake is always looked for in this act, and it is time the heroine was carried off on the villains shoulder and imprisoned in a cave. The Indians who attacked the ranch in act should get licked like blazes in act 9. The dicovery that the Indian chief is a white man in disguise and the father of the stage carpenter will make good eli max.
 ACT m.-The boys will be looking for a stage holdup early in this act and must not be disappointed. If the children are to be changed in their cradles, now Is the time to do it. If there is farewell scene between mother and son before the latter is led to the gallows, she must shed real tears or none at all. Our people won't stand any base limitations. If there is any Legree, Uncle Tom, Brutus, Hamlet or deathbed confession, 1t should be wheeled en to the stage in this act. The boys can stand two more songs and five minutes of high kicking. Our people love ocean scen- cry, and it can be introduced every few minutes, no matter whether 1t its the play or not Red fire and thunderstorms always elicit admiration and applause and cannot be used too often. There must be a grand climax as the curtain falls for the last time, or some one will shoot the cell ing full of stars. It won't be enough that the villain falls dead of heart disease and the heroine discovers her long lost mother, but there must be a whooping old time, with every body yelling and shooting and the river overrunning it's banks and inun- dating the whole valley. As people we