Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-08-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

exacting guest.
Lofty idealists are usually men who
are too lazy to work. Puck.
Truth is mighty; but it will not
prevail in a horse trade. Puck.
People do great deal of talking
about the lost art of conversation.
Puck.
The great beauty of adversely as a
medicine is that 1t is not sugar coated.
Puck.
Vokes-'1s Miss drummer emanci-
pated?" Carson--"Well, she shaves.
Truth.
Executive ability is the faculty of
getting some one else to do your
work. Puck.
The best way for some people to
forge to the front is for them to take
back seat. Dallas News.
When a man makes a blunder he
can't blame on somebody else, he
decides to say nothing about it
Atchison Globe.
The Kentucky six-footer whose
bride is only three feet high is no
doubt very proud of his better half
st. Louis Dispatch
"Talk about your mosquito coastl'
said the man as he tenderly rubbed
the shining surface on his bald head.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Lady--"How is this insect powder
to be applied?" Assistant absent
mindedly)--"Give 'em teaspoonful
after each meal. "--Tit-Bits.
He-"I've bought you a pet mon
key to amuse you, darling. She
"Oh, how kind of you! Now l shan't
miss you when you are away. Tit
Bits.
'I wish you would give us soma
thing more on current topics.
"Here's the very thing; an article on
the overhead trolley. Washington
Star
Good intent is but added exaspera-
tion when it's consequences are dlsas-
trous The man killed accidentally
is just as dead as the man murdered.
Truth.
Mr.. Flitty-'I had all the conceit
taken out of me yesterday" Miss
Victor -"Really? How did they carry
it off? On freight train. detroit
Free Press.
Professor Ito class in political econ
omy)-"What is the hardest tax to
raiser" Student Whose mother is
housecleaningl l-"Carpet tacks. DE
troit Free Press.
"'The teacher says your Freddie
wastes great deal of his time at
school," Mother-"Well, I'm glad to
hear it, for I was afraid he didc't go
half the time. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Servant - ''Please, mum, Mrs. Next
doc wants you to lend her some read
ing suitable for n sick person.
Mistress - Certainly. Give her
those medical almanacs. New York
Weekly.
Wife GLOW people gaze at my
new dress presume they wonder II
I've been shopping In Paris. " Hus-
band-"More likely they wonder ii
I've been robbing a bank. New
York Weekly.
"Don't YOU consider Miss Bondby
rather dull?" said one society man.
"Well," replied another, latter the
manner in which she cut you this
morning l can't say that L do. -
Washington Star
Lord de Void Ito Miss Budd, whom
he meets travelling on the continentl
az thought once that all the pwetty
Amerwcan girls came abwoad, but
when went to New York | decided
that they all stayed at home. =
Judge.
Miss Skrumohus--'l was so digust'
ed to see people take mp their ear OF
corn in their fingers. | always use
knife to detach the corn from the ear.
Mrs. Homespun-"Well. | suppose a
knife answers right well where one
has no teeth. boston Transcript
Edith-"what quick turn for
repartee Harry Prince has !" Mabel
but he never says anything to
wound ones feelings" Edith-"And
then he's 80 gallant You should
think the world of him. He was so
prompt in Your defence the other
day Somebody remarked, There
are no frills on Mabel Stone, and
Harry replied. 'On the contrary, she
is distinctly plain. - Boston Tran
script.
A Wellesley College girl tells Of .
bright saying Of one ot their number.
The class was selecting motto, and
tsp. tkv ..sn saff Ia true Was AHo-
gested. after number OF others hal
been disapprovei Of, and met with
quite favorable reception I'll
Young laiy arose, ami said she hardly
thought that appropriate for Young
ladies seminary --"faf it shall tpi'
lov. ~ the night the dsy, thaa eili
not then hu falsa O. anY naA
Anil.I uraaI nuulallan IhnH lIaaaIlaI