The Penn's Grove record., 1894-05-04
TWO OF A KIND.

~ am in trouble" said Bremner to
his friend Sommers, "aud l want you
10 help me out"
Financial" asked Sommers, with
q slight contracting of the eyebrows.
'Oh, no; worse than that, a good
deaLn
81 didn't know anything could be
worse n these panicky times. What
Is it?"
II have a friend" said Brcmner,
TOR a nan who thinks h mself my
friend, and whom, for certain reasons,
I wish to shake off, but he refuses to
be sha6en. Now, YOU are a resource
full man, and may be able to give me
q hint l have tried everything with
Snaggs--eyerything short of positive
insult-and all to no purpose"
"What is the matter with him?"
asked Sommers
1.-THE matter is this. He has a boy
seven years old, OF Whereabouts. and
he always persists in talking about
the lad; in fact, he can't talk of any.
thing else, and imagines every n
as deeply interested as himself. !
have nothing at all against the boy;
he Is a good enough commonplace
little fellow, like all the rest of them.
! never see any difference in boys my
self, they all seem equally objection"
able. But Snaggs comes te oUr house,
sits down, and talks about his boy,
what he does. and what he says, un~
til 1 am nearly driven crazy. ! hope
you can suggest something for my
relief"
Il suggest" SAID Sommers, 'that
you take Snaggs to the State Of Michi'
gan, U. S. A, and kill him."
why to Michigan" quer.ed Brem-
ger.
"Oh, simply because they don't
hang for murder there, and any PEN
atty short of hanging should be cheer
fully borne to get rid of a man like
Snaggs."
II didn't know you were acquainted
with him." said Bremner, excitedly.
'1'm not, but l am afflicted in the
Same way myself"
'Nonsense!" cried Bremner; 81
never even heard you mention your
children"
II mean that l am afflicted with a
friend like Snaggs It's a daughter
In his case. His name Is Gregsby.
I'm even worse OH than you are, for
this only daughter is but 5 years
old. You are two years ahead of me.
BY and by the boy will reach years of
discretion, and he will get there
quicker than Gregsby's girl"
~ don't know about that" Brem-
ner repl ed, gloomily; girls grow up
so much faster than boys do"
But they lever reach years Of
discretion. you know"
II don't believe any son of Snaggs
will, either. The boys father hasn't,
at any rate. But, l say, Sommers,
an idea strikes me. Why not intro
duee Snaggs and Gregsby to each
uther3"
THAT wouldn't be a bad plan," re-
piled Sommers, cheerfully, 'and
then we might bet on them. rll
back my man to be the greater bore"
"There wouldn't be any use in bet
ting said Bremner, "for if your man
is as bad as mine, it could only end
In d draw" .
Bring your mar round, and we'll
test the case"
"Shall / bring Snaggs to your
house to- morrow nght, them" asked
Bremner.
Eyes, and II you're In for a bet,
I'm your victim. / have great faith
In Gregsby, and would like to have a
little stake on him."
Its a serious subject with me-"
replied Bremner.
"Oh, very we'll then; I'll exp ct
you tomorrow night about s o'clock,
though l suspect your nan is not
half so capable a bore as mine"
1t was a few minutes before s
o'clock when Gregsby pressed the
electric button at the Sommer's resi-
dence Sommers heard him talking
to Mrs Sommers In the hall, say ng,
''oh, yes, thank you, she is quite
well. I'll tell YOU something funny
that she said to-day TO her mother"
Sommers groaned, and helped HIM
self to a quantity of the stimulant
provided for his guests. The next
moment Gregsby appeared smiling,
and sommers greeted him with WE'LL
teigned cordiality.
Very soon the bell rang again, and
a few minutes after Bremner was in
tr ducing Snaggs to the two sitting
In the smoking loom.
"Beastly weather, this" said
Gregsby to the newcomers ~
don't mind the weather myself, but
when a nan has children he is COM
PEELED to think of it"
"Have you children?" asked
Snaggs, with apparent interest
'I've a little boy myself, but he
doesn't mind the weather in the
least"
Il shouldn't say children" replied
Gregsby. Il have one little girl, and
she Is only s years old, but wonder
fully knowing for her age, and this
weather is SO bad that she misses her
walk with her mamma. We never
trust her out W tn q nurse You
know"
II was saying" broke in Snaggs,
that ] have q little boy myself; h.