Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1894-12-13

I NNX asked, is polite So
lMEA ciety polite?" And
nobody has satisfac-
q torily made reply be-
cause, l suppose, nobody has yet decided
just who is polite society and just what
is politeness. And, after all, how can
anybody arbitrarily decide either ques-
tion? The polite society of our Ameri-
can metropolis is usually described as
the Four Hundred because Mr.. Ward
McAllister once said that there were
only 400 people in New York who could
be said to be Sin society"
But even in New York Mr. McAllis-
ter's dictum is not received as law and
gospel by all the hundreds of thousands
of persons who inhabit the great city,
and probably the millions who make
up the rest of the population of these
United States have most republican
disregard of any dictum upon the sub
ject. 4N .a AN n
The polite society of any city, town
or village in our country is its own most
respected citizens In monarchy this
is not so. for to every kingdom there is
court, and the fashions of royalty and
its court are the fashions Of the subjects.
In other words, a kingdom has an Off
cial polite society, and the gold stick in
waiting could rattle you off the names
of the Four Hundred under his anxious
charge as a shepherd could tell his sheep.
In such an order of society etiquette
is laid down SO clearly and SO strictly
that polite society has no choice as to
its manners, and those manners are, as
you may say, polite ex-officio In our
own land there is no central authority
upon social subjects, and, in fact, upon
good many subjects not social, but
that is neither here nor there, and with
all its faults stmy country, It's of thee'
that boast whenever am out of it.
So let every body corporate take its
own polite society and consider whether
its politeness leaves anything to be de-
sired. Somebody has said that good
manners are the expression Of good feel
ing, and to a certain extent this is COR
rect, for selfish or i'll natured person,
if ever so well trained in social eti-
quette, is liable to break down under
sudden stress of circumstance, while
the good heart will come to the front in
an emergency and prompt the very
truest acts of politeness.
The best test of good manners which
have ever seen is hunger. Take par
ty of travellers when the train breaks
down 40 miles from everywhere and
the sandwich baskets have all given out
An enterprising youth has made his
way across the prairie and brought
limited amount of sustenance. Now is
the time to apply the touchstone to the
laborious politeness of the man who has
been metaphorically spreading his vel
vet cloak under your feet for hundreds
of miles. Does he struggle to fully sup
ply your wants before attending to his
own, or does he mysteriously disappear
for few moments and return, bringing
you small piece of gingerbread, while
the crumbs of bread and meat and pas
try lurk unsupported in his beard?
l have under similar circumstances
seen a gentleman, whose pretensions
even Mr. McAllister would not ques-
tion, intercept the approaching commits
sary wagon and fill his own pockets to
overfowing before the women and chill
den and invalids Of the party had
chance.
On the same occasion saw a brake
man with the quarter of a mince pie in
his hand take one heroic bite from its
point and then thrust the rest into the
hand of poor old man who had not
money to buy anything and to whom
no man had given.
But the greedy pig of q gentleman
had charming manners, and the gener-
GUS brakeman hadn't manner to his
namel
In less extreme cases who has not seen
men and women who claim to be the
very pinks Of politeness grow surly, or
peevish when dinner was delayed, or
when some favorite or anticipated dish
was spoiled, or when the choice bit of
the bird or the joint was given to some
one else? A picnic or any other Of those
irregular and most uncomfortable al
fresco meals which romantic persons are
SO fond of arranging is a splendid OPP
portunity for studying manners. Being
out of doors and liberated from the usual
environment of civilized life seems to
give the opportunity to those who wish
it for a temporary return to barbarism.
To sit upon the ground and eat with
ones fingers, to share drinking vessel
with several others and to devour ones
food in semiraw and semicharred con
dition are among the delights of the
picnic where you make a fire and cook
something, process which to many
people is the acme of joyous freedom
and holiday making But all these de-
| lights we share with the savage, and
in accepting them we are very apt to
accept his manners as well--that is to
say, those persons are apt to whose po-
| liteness is veneered upon their natural
temperament and is not its necessary
outgrowth. Not only do greedy people
show forth their greediness and intem-
perate people their intemperance, but
the man radically coarse shows forth his
coarseness as he never would do beneath
roof, the silly man, or more probably
the silly woman, proves herself fool,
the tyrant demineers openly and rudely
every one, in fact, returns to the
brutal frankness Of the mtutored savage
and for an hour or so throws aside the
mask and domino Of polite society.
So true is this criterion that hereby
advise every woman to delay accepting
the man who wooes her until she has
| spent day with him at picnic or
some other form Of ''pieasuring" under
the greenwood tree.
But, short of such extreme conditions
as these. is polite society polite? That
is to say. I inquire oonfdentially, Is
your polite society politei And / will
tell you If mine is.
Do you live in a great city where, at
certain hours of the day the public
| conveyances are crowded sometimes to
excessa If so. you have an admirable
opDortunity to study the innate polite