The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-08

"Yes. indeed, you ought" cried the
base ball. I'm nearly dead being hit
In the head BY that old bat"
II miss you ~ often % can" said
the but.
THAT'S true enough" said the ball,
but / think its pretty nard ON me
just the same. The only pie .sure /
get 10 In stinging Boobies hands when
he catches me. hit his palms 90 hard
and hot yesterday he had to drop me.
He thought was bee"
"Well isn't there ever going to be
any rest for us?" asked the wax doll.
"Secms to me we ought to have q va.
cation"
You'll get It." said the old rag baby
up on the shelf. "Wait until after
next Christmas, and you'll have just
as much rest az I'm getting, and you
won't like 1t much. ! Mollle used to
play with me all the time, but last
Christmas when you came I was tossed
up here, and here I've been ever since"
why don't you complaint" asked the
rubber doll.
"Ycs-and get given awayw returned
the rug baby. II might bc worse of
than am"
$50 might we all of U.S." put in the
base ball. I'm satisfied with tllirgs
as they are. Let's be happy as we
are"
THAT'S what 1 say," said tho singing
doll, land IL the rubber band will &c.
company me, I'll MARBLE you all to
sleep"
And the rubber band good naturally
agreeing. the singing doll did Us she
promised, and very shortly the toys
We're all snoring away rs contente1ly
rs can bc.-Harpcr's Young People.
Queer aud Inpudent.
Among many odd characters when
Miss Kate Sanborn saw and studied
with observing eyes in California, was
blunt old man who sat beside her
ut the hotel table. He resented 1t
that she did not do as much as lie
thought she should, for the public en-.
tcrtainment. Finally, one day, he bold.
ly addressed her:
".Ahem! hear you can be funny"
There was no response, and he NUT
tered to himself:
II don't much believe she can do any.
thing. Don't look like IT." And then to
me:
We'll, now, If you can be funny. why
don't you?"
! could not help laughing.
YES, II you can, you ought to 60 into
the parlOr every night and show what
You can do, md aluusc us. Why, 1 told
Quillctts-you know bout Outlets?
Awfully funny Teller; good company,
You see. Says /, Outlets, like you.
Now II you'll stay here, Ill give you
cottage rent-free all summer; but you
must agree to be funny every night,
and keep the ball a-rollin'.' Now We
want You to get up and do somethin'
to amuse the guests. We want to be
amused; sOmethin' that will set us
laughin'."
MIR. Brushwood," said 1, II under.
stand you are dealer In tobacco:"
"Ycs, mum, and you won't find finer
tcbacker anywhere In this world than
what's got my name on It," :.
We'll, when 1 notice you freely dis
tributing that tobacco In the parlor
evenings, Ill follow on behind you
and try to amusc as a condensed cir
Gus. I'm not lacking In philanthropy
I only need to be reused by your noble
example and sustained by your influ
ence."
He looked disguised, gruuted his dis
approval, backed his chair out from
the table, and muttered, us he left
the dining room:
Shes u queer duck! Don't amount
to much anyway. Impudent. too"
"sacred" Water Analysed.
A scientific analysis has lately beer
made In EnglanG Of the Zem-Zen
water from the sacred well ut Mecca
which, according to the Arabs, is the
we'll that the angels showed to Hagal
and whose water saved the life Of
Ishmael. After reading the results OF
this analysis, one cannot wonder that
pilgrims who drink the water are fire.
Qucntly attacked by cholera.
The specimen examined, which was
Theoretically sealed in tin bottles forty
years ago by Sir Richard Burton dur
ing his visit to Meccn In the disguise
of dervish, continued sixty-nine grains
of chlorine to the gallon il ordinarily
regarded us scarcely fit for human con
sumption.
Moreover, In the case OF the Fem
Fem we'll, it Is believed that the chlor
inc originates from the custom of pour
ing water over the pilgrims and allow
ing 1t to run back into the well. Tho
sacred water was found to POSSESS au
extraordinary degree Of "harlncss,'
three times as great us that Of aver
age water. 1t is also held twenty times
as much ammo mia compounds as drink
ing water should contain.
No bacteria were discovered, Eut
this is accounted for by the fact that
the water had remained for so long d
ty years Of such confinement had com
plctcly sterilized it, but the CHI ,.lnical
impurities remained.
The Right Kind of Boy.
The merchant had arrived Mt his Of
flee us early as o'clock, and five min
ntes after he got down to his desk Q
fOxy-lOOking, bright faced boy came in
The merchant was reading, and tile
boy with his hat off, stood there expect
antly, but saying nothing. At the END
of two minutes he coughed slightly and
said:
Excuse me, sir, but I'm In q hurry
The merchant looked up:
What do you wantY" he asked.
II want a job, ii you've got one fol
me- replied the boy.
'Oh, do your snorted the merchant
well, what are you in such a hurry
about?"
1--WE got to be, that's why" was the
sharp response. II left school yestcr
day evening to go to work, and have
not got Il place yet, and can't afford
to be wasting time. II you can't do any
thing for me Ill skip. The only place
where ! can stop long is in the place
where they pay me for 1t.
The merchant looked mt the clock.
"Whcn can yau Gomez" he asked.
II don't have to come" replied the
youngster; I'm here now, and I'd been
at work before this IL you'd said So"
Half an hour later he was at it, and