Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-06-28

IHEbE are plncnlug tlmeb, sdiu
the snuff-taker.-Lowell Courier.
A CHEAP summer trip--on a ba-
mana skin.-Philadelphia Record.
No MAN and his wife ever agreed
on the money question. tchison
Globe.
The wheelwright ought to make
a good spokesman. --Philadelphia
Record.
IT is passing strange that soft coal
hould be so hard-to get. Buffalo
Express.
GABRIEL holding the trump will
simply order the others up.-Phila-
delphia Times.
WHEN man js fred he feels
GOODNESS toward his late employers. -
Boston Transcript.
Why is hexameter like June
bug? Because each has six feet
Fliegende Blaetter.
WoMEN's clubs seem to be growing.
The broomstick used to be large
enough. Philadelphia Record.
THERE Is much tenderness In this
seemingly cruel world, but the butcher
rarely finds 1t. = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
A SITTING hen 10 quite anxious as
to the outcome OF her mission; she
bIoods over 1t consJantly.-Lowell
Courier.
No, MAUD, dear, the taxidermist
Is not a collector Of taxes, although
he does work skin . ame.-Phila-
delphia Record.
WHEN an election Is honeycombed
with fraud, the perpetrators should be
made intimately acquainted with
cells. Lowell Courier.
SYMs-"Poor Robinson, Pm told,
was killed by hard drink" Singles
~Yes, he was struck on the head with
a cake Of ice. Truth.
The messenger boys delight in
ball matches, Notwithstanding the
fact that they abound in swift deliv-
eries.-Yonkers Statesman.
"WHILE ] have not always done
my BEST" said the bookmaker, at
least / have usually done my bet
ters "-Indianapolis Journal.
lie VI uSU ny
cranberry growers is calculated to
call forth tart and saucy remarks
from consumers Courier.
CRIMsoNBEAK-Don' you see that
crimson spot over there? Bacon
You evidently can't see any further
than your nose.-Yonkers Statesman
"JUsT think, Captain, the Major
has actually married the rich old
maid" obviously he wanted to
have his golden wedding at once. p
Fliegende Blaetter.
IT is true that times have been very
hard indeed. But it is difficult To
perceive just how the summer girl is
going to ecOnomize in her bathing
suit. Star.
LOB cohse," said Uncle Ebcn, slime
is money. But it do beat all how
much easier It's ter glib needy fren'
two houahs' talk bout economy dan
tits ter lem i'm so cents washing
ton Star.
SHE-"And now, my dear. having
given you bit Of my mind I'm off
to the dentist to have my tooth
filed" He-@Ask him to fill the rest
of your mouth while he's about it,
Boston Budget.
@DO YOU consider him a man of
veracity?" "Hey?" Il say, do you
consider him q man of veracity?"
well, there's no tellin' what he
might do If he was mad and had a
gun. Texas Siftings.
SHE-@Why is it they speak Of a
man as strong candidate? He
doesn't have to lift anything, does
hep" He-"Er-not exactly; but his
friends all expect him to carry the
day."-Buffalo Courier.
@DE great trouble bout converse
tion," remarked Uncle Eben, .am dat
hits impossible ter show ez much
originality In talkin' bout de weddah
ez yoh kin talkin' bout yoh neigh
bors Washington Star.
SHE (doubtfully)-"Have you really
told me Of all the sins you ever COM
mitted?" He (stoutly)-1Yes, all"
She (sorrowfully)-"Then l am not
worthy of you. Farewell for-for
ever. New York Weekly.
SHE-@Yes, Carrie evidently thinks
Harry is superior to all mankind.
She Is forever talking about him.
She lauds him to the sky" He
1'That is to say, she sets her beau of
promise in the heavens. Boston
Transcript.
MAGAZINE PUBLISHER -@Are you
familiar with literature? For in.
stance how would you discriminate
between poetry and verse;" Appli-
cant-@If it's In the front part of a
magazine, 1t poetry; IL it's in the
back part, It's verse. Chicago Rec
ord.
PLAYwRIGHT-Is her acting nat.
ural? Manager Enthusiastically
Natural! When she appeared as the
dying mother last night an insurance
agent who has her life insured for
$4,000, and who was In the audi
ence, actually tainted. - Parsons
Weekly.
aYOU ought to have more sense
than to play cards all night and lose
your money" said Mrs. Snaggs to her
husband. at was all on account of
the financial situation" replied
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