Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-01-31
PITH AND POINT.

A receiving teller-A phonogra?h.
Tides in the affairs of men naturally
come under the head of current events.
The man whose name is most often
under cloud is the umbrella maker. -
Puck.
"AIy face is my fortune, sir" she
said. ''You must be in debt" said the
nan ill-bred.
Law is dry study; but the moisture
of tears seems to have much effect on a
iury.-Puck.
The carpenter is not always mathe,
matician, but is handy with his ''adz. "
Columbus Post.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
but presence causes it to glow like a full
noon.-Texas Siftings.
The philosopher can be plain amongs;
men; but no man can endure with pa
tiencc womau's slur about his clothing
Puck.
OF the man who is his own worst
enemy it can hardly be said that we love
him for the enemy he has made.-Boston
transcript.
81 am at your service, ma'am, " as the
burglar said when the lady of the house
caught him stealing her silverware. -
Texas Siftings.
He-''You didn't know 1 was cbiol
blind, did you2' She sIspes-e 1t
from the neckties you wear. tr.'-C.o:ller
and Furnisher.
Yabsley-"D es your wife ever
choose your clothes for yoIW WiclHire
mo; she mere y pes. the pocIe:s.
Indianapolis Journal.
81 have a pair of suspen l4rs for every
pair of trousers I've CO., il; sail.
"Gracious! how mtuy ptrs o. sIsDcl !.
ers have you got3" '.JIe par. ."-N.y
York Press.
"No, my son, It 5 no. always polite
60 tell man W "a yoLt tlll'l o. hi II. l.
is safer to tel 1T 50 Gc 'otj e.ss, n Is
just as elfect;v. il CIJss instances. -
Boston TranscriYt.
Papa, why d1cs tie drln mnjoc o:
band wear that BIZ tlin on his nead:'
because the nltGrIl e of mis- head i
not equal to the occas:UL, my sJo."-
Baltimore American.
I Probably the rea-ol vny people az SC
liberal in their praise OF men Il 'ier they
are dead lies In the i::3; tIIt fI.tery is
not likely to give a deal mIl the %
head.-Boston Transc:i2:.
l asked her for her hea = all hari,
And smiled to see the u Ji-lss :. ICy star
| Her answer helped me VI ,stsJ.I o.:
You hold my hand-Ju5 1 htys loSS M
heart
'It was all very well fyt ths ppeI tC
talk about "a perfect womll, NIB. T.!
planned, said Mr. Arrst:s sa Is, ''oI
the trouble is that it t. ie5 slaI i lot oi
money to carry out the p!tl. "-1JstoI
Post.
Tis sad how deep into Oblivion -
Some books We thought wJu.i si.Ic o:
every shelf:
To-day, Wilde looking through my WORKS.
Two that I wrote, and then forgot, myso:;
-puc=.
Elder Sister-''I most drive aroll
to Hose 6 Mlntle's; hear they hay,
quite new thing in gloves" Younge
Sister (swcetly)-'Indeed! And whei
you get them on it will ne quite an old
thing in gloves, won't it, darling. -.
Comic.
"Is it true, ," said the reporter, ru,hin:
breathlessly into the railroad supehn
tendent's office, "that there was tieu
on the road last night2" "Yes," re
sponded the official, ''there was. Ou
agent at Buzzlrd's Fork married hi
typewriter. st. Joseph News.
Reggar (s.ending in front of an eIhl
bitlon OF paintings, to stranger about t,
enter with a lighted eigaD-'I say
mister, there's no smoking allowed insid
yonder; but if you'll give me tworeno
| don't mind keeping your cigar a-burn
ing till ye come out again. ."-D0rfbar
| bier.
Mrs. Wlckwire-"NextW Wednesday
brother Edwin's birthday, dear. Don
YOU think we ought TO maize him Pres
entl' Mr. WicSwire-"Lernnc see
He has been visiting {. shout two mont.
now. Guess I'll give hin a real -
handy travelling satchel. Ehl l'-.rit,,.
epoiis Jor-ral.
"Evuyth,sy goes W n ronp abe
D.llsfs'd. "Ss:'npg ma. '",.cl SUE
e>eis" II w~u!3n'i 10 tLa: W., il
v,rc Jor,' r'pi'.d Sn''.gs. B.
sant belp IT. "I'u mu,t TT, to. f''
sho1,d AfvsY' look % tn. br - r'ss =,
thtn1ss 81 ua:e 7 t. Ia .. ct' 90
bightuAn vtl! '"i<-. NJ .y-..'t. -
PlttsbuI. CuIon.c ..
! Ileet, 5000, 0 live sto,k il
Pennrylvatis
The idea OF an ancient tro ical con
incnt at ihs South Pole uniting S ut
America, Madacasc T an Au.r.ha !
iiouslng considerable int .:r>l
Ihscusaon in scIe. tIfic - ics.
The Capitol at Ear ford, Gnr
Iof marble and local en,,Inec.s c III
That it expands one I..ch IN zach 10
'eet, being three inch,s lar ger il sum
ner than in wintS.