The Progress. (Shreveport, La.) 1892-1900, 1894-02-10

00'''.''i' VI I'l'tlSllIt lIllD one
IOFI"re through consciousness of the-raC
=. Ihat ne IS Likely to be called out at any nj
meht, beng introduced by the toastmast,
- with the words which will make him mo,
III uncomfortable, and with a dozen or SEQ,
VI bright fellows sitting round WAITING
CHaHcc 10 @tcrrupt, to roast AID TO IN
MIN An ordeal like this is likely t9mak
III even the hardest of dinner camuaioner
= nervous, ana it is a fact that men who I'M
u deF ordinary circumstances make E<jph
t speeches, with self confidence and apI0mb
: nl'ihOIc and halt and hesitate when facing
>, Vnese newspaper inqusitors.
Inc man who hcsitates is lost Tb,
speaker who mumbcs word, who halt,
i"nSer IMAM IS required to catch his breath
Will ma his ears assaiIcd with cries Of "~
down! If he attempts to tel& astorv which
most OF the crowd have head before tine
nrS5pauSG, will be taken ad9antaoe Of nv
Ihe roaSterS to strike up:
On, what chestnut what n chestnut what -
chestnut, just noW#
o. Slightly Discouracine,
ne man who starts off with the rcmarI,
ME- PRESIDENT, yon will scarcely eynect
Ine 10 maze long speech at this tin. of
'ue hlSht, IS sure to be hailed with: "No
we 40 not. Sit down. The unfortunate
speaker VINO spars for breath by fillsag in
MI'u' WAT shall | saT9n is sure to hear
, ohe response, sharp and quick, "Nothing,,'
me orator-who falls to talking about him.
sell and what he has done is only lavinp nm
aSVote OF wratB for himself There was a
l case III point at a recent dinner. A Young
oniclal VINO has made peculiar success in
MS post, and who is well liked, thought 70
Improve the opportunity for sounding his
own bazoo little. He proceeded to tell C.
various things that he had done, GIVING
qulVe u list OF his accomplishments, and was
ABOUT 10 extend this indefinitely when n cor
respondent with strong lungs interiected
the following:
THAT'S all right, but did Won ever on1tgo
MS sally was greeted with such roar
Oh laughter that under its cover the voupo
Official thought he would do well to takp
the mint and sat down. o. o
Inc after dinner speaker who makes the
peSC headway is one who accepts the situa-
''oii aS IL appears and becomes a rooster
On HIS own account. The man who praises
'ile newspapers, or who passes around com
Pilmeh'S Tor the club, is sure to be groancd
INTO misery. But the orator who launches
out INTO all the abuse he can think Of with |.
newspaper men and the press generally no
In m1H T!c'lihS, IS sure to be well received.
ne liVeIler this TRADE the more bitter and
the better the cubmen Hkpit
4. iney VIII SIT as calm as oysters and take
their medicine, or, if commenting at All I
enchanting: "That'so the stufy' Hit Is p
again. YOU'RE all right" This Dojnt y
may be OF service to men who haveo nevcr !
attended one OF these big dinners, and VINO II
may some day be called upon to stand their j
casting. ' ''''' ,
refinement ofCrueity. Z
AT recent big dinner of one If thoso /,
luos the menu cards bore a long list of !,
casts. Among those assigned to speak on y
, topics, like 1.-THE Ladies' -
Inc capital City," "The President" etc =
we're members of the cabinet, senators and II
These men had had no prior &c
o''ce Vi what was expected of them. As "
Jon as the oysters were served they looked };
U 'heir menus and found that they were in lr
)r IT, AT once, as is human nature tbev -
egan thinking over what they would saw n,
CHANGED to sit beside one of these victims -
~ Vhough ordinarily one of the brightest =, a,
con'ersa1lohists not word could I III
u Out or nm. He was eating in a me- e'
laFlcal sort OF way and chewing the end III
4 circulation, running over in his mind III
y korles which he used to tell and irving h,
@tY..lg to the front, on some sort of pretevt /, i.
other, the Jokes which he once SUCCESS.
lily cracked. VII
-eT friend and neighbor passed a most we
evening. So did the six or 10
5ht other gentlemen who were in the same ut
'eS0ry' Every minute they expected to lei
called out. But at last the hour of mid I
5ht mad arrived, and not one of them had FRO
En- called upon. Then the toast master ioo
hounced that owing to the lateness Of
hourlt would be necessary to POSTPONE NE
,se speeches till the next annual dinner Id
thus, after being kept on the gridiron st.
suspense for four long hours. the moor Pat
tlms were permitted to escape into the :ha
mt air, where they could cool their fe- .ur,
ed brows. OF course there never had bean
sLghtest intention of calling upon them ' a'",
'espond to the printed toasts. The whole Jaw
eme had been arranged as refinement att
cruelty which only newspaper CORE md
ndent could be guilty of. null
Two Gavel Taps. ,eo)
Is a serious question if the ROASTING, ii t
ler has not had it's day. The nrocess ope
ies great fun for the club and for those .nce
'Cs VINO know they are not likely to be The,
bat - = /