The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1894-03-02
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

lawyer, on reaching middle age tried
to get ton without glasses, though his
sight was evidently failing. In plead
ing a case he had difficulty in seeing
his notes, and in order properly to
decipher his manuscript, kept hold
ing his paper farther and farther off.
On one OCCASION this so annoyed the
judge that he at last burst out with :
"Mr. Choate, / would advise you to
get one of two things, either pair
Of tongs or a pair Of spectacles."
fWho makes the kittens, Jackier'
'sWhy, God makes them, Ethel. He
doesn't make them as he does babies,
one by one, but he just says Let there
be kittens, and there are kittens. -
Life's Calendar.
Mamma Ito little daughter)-Nev-
er forget to thank God for every
thing, my child. Child-If / didn't
like it, too? Mamma-Yes, always;
everything is for the best. Child
Cumming in an hour later Mamma,
thank God, I've broke the new pitch
er.-Harper's Young People.
doctor" said the excited man,
rushing into the office, 81 have just
swallowed my $500 diamond ring.
Can you help me?" "TeIl you what
III do" said the physician. "I'll
take the risk Of performing an opera
ton if You will give me the ring. y
indianapolis Journal.
Customer-What's the matter with
the lady you are watching ? Is she
suspected? Clerk-Sh-sh. Yes; she
is insane. Customer-W hat did she
do? Clerk-Asked TO look at shoes
that we're really large enough for her.
Inter Ocean.
Doctor-By my treatment l have
given you a new lease of life. Pa
sient-Yes; but you'll admit that
you charge high rent.-Chicago Rec
ord.
Learn from your earliest days to
steel your soul against the sting OF
ridicule. You can no more exercise
your reason if you live in perpetual
dread of laughter than you can enjoy
your life if you are in constant terror
Of death.
Dangerous Enterprise Great
Statesman (afier being called out OF
bed at 2 o'clock a. m, and graclously
submitting to a long interview on
"rhe Tariff and its Tinkers' in a
cold room)-And now, may / ask, my
young friend, if you will kindly send
me twenty copies of this interview
when it appears in the great daily
which you so ably represent ? Dear
Y. F. (briskly)-O, this amt for no
paper. You see, l belong to the
School of Journalism and had orders
to practice on a rrsh interview with
some well-known politician, so / just
came TO see you. Much obliged, sir
good morning, sirl-%ruth.
A Modern Solomon: Baron Solo.
mon de Rothschild had a son who
greatly pa.ronized cab-drivers, whom
he always largely overpaid. One day
Baron Solomon hired a cab and Of
fered the legal fare, but the driver
objected. s'Your son." said he
"gives us five or six times as much
as that" "Ah," replied the Baron
"he has rich father; | haven't"
On the Down Grade An artist
meeting a retired model who wal
then filling a humble position at the
London Geological Gardens, asked
what he was employed at among .ht
animals. "What am / a doin' Of p
echoed the model in a disgusted tone
"why, Pm a sweepin' out helephsnts
dens-a nice hoccupation, amt it
for a man as has sat for the twelve
apOssels?"
Professor Pluperfect Ito class oi
Latin graduates) )-Young gentlemen
vour felIow-students think highly Of
You, | think highly Of yOu, the Other
professors think highly Of you buI
no one thinks so highly ofyou as you
do yourselves. \
DIR. Plaster TO patients wife,
Why did you delay sending for me
until he was out of his senses? Weep
ING Wife-0h, doctor, as long as h'
kent his senses he wouldn't let me
send for You.
Llchen and Moses.
When all other service is vain, from
plant and tree. the soft MOSES and
gray lichen take mp their watch BY
the head d-stone. The woods, the bios
SONS, the gift-bearing grasses, hav'
done their parts for time, bnt thes'
do service forever. Trees for tb'
builders yard, flowers for the bride
chamber, corn for tho granary, mos
for the grave.
Unfading, as motionless, the worn
frets them not, and the autumn
wastes not. Strong in lowliness, the.
neither blanch i'm heat nor pine II