The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-10-07

over one shoulder and mixing up with
the overjoyed breeze, he surprised and
scattered the Syracuse Normal school
on its way home and broke up game
of croquet at the rectory. Everywhere
he was greeted with surprise and en-
barrassment
He was the author of but one joke
during his lifetime. This was on the
occasion of his visit to Syracuse after he
had become great man. After every
body else had discovered that he was a
genius his native town came tagging
along and said to itself: Archie used
to live here. and, according TO the pa
pers, he is ketching ON elsewhere. Les
give him banket and show the darned
fool that we don't fergit our town
folks. So they invited Archimedes TO
come and lecture for the Paupers' Intel
lectual Growth society free, and after it
was over they gave him blanket" in
the back end of a candy store, where a
few temperance clans and cocoanut
cake were served, with responses by
seven pimply and frightened young men
who were invited 10 the ''banket'' on the
strength of their paying their share of
the expense, and who were thus referred
to as ''our representative young men"
ArchimedeS sat next TO big York
shire pie made of a sort Of hash which
might be regarded as the connecting
link between the animal and vegetable
kingdom. The chair had just helped it.
self TO the very heart and soul Of this
great Syracuse dish, and turning, with
a winning smile, said:
Archie, take some of the Yorkshire
pie. Syracuse honors her glorious son."
He then took another spoonful or two
and added, ''Archimedes, help yourself
to the pie
The great philosopher, inventor and
author Of Archimedes' screw, etc, look
ed long time at the dish, then at the
plate of the chair, which was moaning
with its load, and then said, tMr.
Chairman, pardon the ignorance Of
poor man who has left his spectacles at
home, but which is the pie?'
This joke is still having good run at
Hammersmith, England.
To prove that the onward march of
the joke was hardly perceptible let me
say that the first 4, 500 years of history,
including 500 years of the Christian era,
evolved but 81 jokes. These were COM
piled by Hierocles as digest of the bon
homie and persiflage Of nearly 5000
years.
Step forward, ladies and gentlemen,
and view the remains of one of these FL
jokes which represent the brain juice of
40 centuries. Here it is:
Elijah, having been asked by ''a man
about town" who did the arrivals and
hotels for Jerusalem morning paper,
if he would mind telling him for the
press what made him bald, took the
young man by the arm, and leading him
out past the roundhouse and through
the gates of the city down into the val
ley of Jehoshaphat, behind persimmon
tree, looked all about him to see that no
one was near.
Are you quite sure that we are
alone?" said Elijah.
Yes, think 500 said the young
man, taking out his notebook.
"And can you keep a secret:" said
the good man.
Il can certainly, SIR" said the young
man.
Can you"' said Elijah "Well, so
can i, 3" and with that he started away.
But" said the young man, will
you not tell me what made you bald?"
Certainly, said the good man. ''It
was my hair" He then went back to
his hotel
But in the past 1900 years what
q change has been made, and espe-
cially in the past 100 years, for it was
estimated II years ago by man who
had given 30 years to the study of this
question that there were then 81, O0O,-
900 jokes extant, and l believe that he
drew it very mild indeed, for an Ameri-
can paper without a joke column is al
most unknown now, even among the
trade journals and fashion magazines.
Joke Natin, jocus) is sally, piece
Of pleasantly, jest which to be success