The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-02-03
BRIGHT BITS.

Toni wonder why Nettie Gaye screamed
so loud when kissed her. Extrem modesty?
Dick-No. Force Of habit.-Chicago Record.
Affable Friends-Ah Mr.. Grumpsey, hope
l see you well.
Grumpsey-If you don't you had better con-
suit an oculist.-Philadelph ia Record.
Too Much of a ompliment-She-Yes; so
Mr.. Murray says. That l look five years
younger when 1 am skating.
He-Why you look twenty years youngerl-
Life.
Judge-You are fined $40 for contempt of
court.
Onender-I say. Judge, seeing as the senti-
ment is mutual, why not call 1t draw?-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Mrs. winks-so you have taken another
companion for better or worse, Ell?
Mrs. econd-Trip-Only for better, my dear
He can't possibly be worse than the other one
was.-Tid.Bits.
Watts-Do you suppose these meteors we
see sometimes come from some other world?
Potts-trom the way they blaze, should
say that they must come from the next world
Indianapolis Journal.
He-What would you do If were to kiss
you?
she-Are you very curious to known
She-Well you might try-and see.-Boston
Traveller.
Newspaper misprints are often amusing
One of the funniest have lately seen is the
tenor, st. Psul's cathedral" That printer
had obviously never heard of LAY" vicar
London Figaro.
Bessie-Does your minister always embrace
you so effusively?
ukitty-Yes, he thinks I'm in the infant
class yet It's very annoying, but he's so old
If it were younger man 1t would be different
Brooklyn Life.
Friend-Are you happy?
Spirit (through medlum) -Perfectly so.
"a Nn1a etc "a hat nos MIA
THE epitaph on my tom bstone. 1t both
amuses and delights me. Texas Siftlngs.
Kittie-I heard to-day you married your
husband to reform him.
SARAH did.
Klttie-Why, didn't know he had any bad
habits
Sarsh-He had one; he was bachelor
Detroit Free Press.
Messenger Boy-Where's the man what
sent me ont with this here message?
Mr Smith-It was 1 that sent you
Messenger Boy-Naw; the Teller what sent
me was clean -shaved bloke, and you've got
Mr.. smith-well, it grew since you started.
Judge.
A Boston lady who brought her children up
very carefully and never allowed them to see
a newspaper, found them, on going into her
nursery, the other day, singing;
Lizzie Borden took an ak, ....t
And gave her mother twenty whacksi
AIlef seeing what Sle q done,
She gave her father twenty-one
Friend-How are you coming on?
Author-Good. I've got the material on
hand for tirst-Class novel.
You are lucky man"
THAT 5 not all! I've got the material for a
splendid comedy besides"
You are fortunate"
Yes; all need now IS the material for a
new pair OF trousers. Texas Sfftings.
Reporter-I have come sir, to ask for a
raise My clothes are in rags, and L haven't
tasted food for seventy-two hours"
Edltor-You have been faithful employee
OF this paper for six years. Your request is
granted. now discharge you
Reporter (gasping for BREATH sir, how
can that help me?
Editor-Why, you are now eligible for the
free bread and clothes given away by this
paper,-Puck.
An old gentleman, whose character was I'M
impeached and unimpeachable, for some
slight cause was challenged by dissolute
young Hotspur, who was determined that the
old gentleman should give him honorable sat.
isfaction. he old gentleman very good
naturedly refused to fight. and the fellow
threatened to gazette" him as coward
Wen, go ahead-I would rather fill twenty
newspapers than one coffin" rejoined the old
gentlemen.-1'it- Bits