Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1894-05-04
Let Us All Laugh.

let Us All Laugh.
THE kick OF COW Is not the most
acceptable form OF milk punch.-The
Farmer.
Love may be blind, but the neigh
bors generally aren't. = Someryille
Journal.
Lor's poor wife is not the only
woman who did not want to move
Dallas News.
NATURALLY when a girl goes to
work out she hates to stay in.-El-
mira Gazette.
A GOOD many men are like cheap
theatrical bills-a very little money
causes them 10 be stuck up. -BuHaio
Courier.
WA1TER-"What kind OF fish will
YOU have, sir, blueflsh or whitehsh?"
Guest-"I don't care; I'm color
blind. Halo.
EVERY singer in quartet can tell
you three good reasons why the Or
ganization isn't absolutely perfect
Elmira Gazette.
VAN WARBLER - "Ah. Stables.
have you heard my last song?"
Stabbes-"Heaven knows, hope So"
Brooklyn Life.
SoN-@Pa, what political party did
Washington belong to?" Father
"Neither: he couldn't tell lie. -
Detroit Free Press.
DON'T be clam. II you've got to
be anything of tho kind, be a mud
turtle. Then you may have some
snap to you.-Texas Siftings
No MATTER how fair and square he
may want to be tho average poultry
dealer is compelled to earn his living
by fowl means.-Buffalo Courier.
"WHY does De Topper attend every
temperance meeting in town." "Be-
cause that's the only place where his
creditors don't look for him. HALO. :
Mr.. McCoRKLE was showing some
visitors over the house. Arriving az
the nursery he remarked: "This.
gentlemen, Is the bawl-room."--Tid-
Bits.
: ETHEI--"Do you allow Charles to
kiss you when you are not yet en-
gagged to him." Maud-"It isn't an
allowance He calls it a perquisite."
-Raymond's Monthly.
BERLINER-"This scenery is really
grand" Native-"But you have
grander views near Berlin?" "No.
indeed" u am afraid you are not a
.Berliner. "-Fliegende Blactter.
THERE are several young men in
the car" remarked Mrs. Holdstrap
with some feeling, "but they can
hardly be classed among the rising
generation. boston Transcript.
WELL" said James Easydo, 1--WE
got down to my last loaf" Great
heavens, mani" said his friend, sit
isn't so bad as that is it?" @Yes, 1
go to work tomorrow Washington
Star.
"You seem very fond of Wagner.
Mrs. Feathergilt." Eyes; when they
play Wagner one feels so confident
that ones conversation isRnot being
overheard by some Impairment out
slider. Washington Star,
AFFABLE SwELL-."Well, the fact
is, my name is not Smithson. You
SEQ, am travelling incog There's
my card" Fellow Passcngcr-"Glad
to hear it. I'm travelling in pickles.
Here's mine. Brooklyn Life.
A GEORGIA undertaken has adopted
a novel method for increasing his
business His advertisement reads:
"FuDerals on the installmcnt plan.
Two dollars week will bury your
best friend. Atlanta Constitution.
AT THE OPERA.-Mrs. Brown
There's Mrs. Montmorenci over
there. wonder how she can enjoy
the opera Why, she's deaf as post"
Mrs Gray-"But see how elegantly
she Is DISQUALIFICATION Transcript.
Miss WITHERs-"When was born,
my grandmother predicted that
would never live to be DID," Silling-
ton (wlshing to be pleasant)-"Ha,
ha, hal Ho, no, ho What good
joke you must have on your grand
motheri"-Puck.
Mrs. HONEYMOON Ito bridegroom
in railway train)-Do you love me?
Old party (confidentially, from other
scat, to bridegroom)-Shes asked you
that forty-seven times already. I
get out here, but I'll leave the score
with this gentleman by the window.
It'd Bits.
THAT was remarkable event.
that reconciliation between the EN-
peror William and Bismarck, re-
marked the advance agent. Yes"
replied the commercial traveller; "but,
to be candid, can't make up my
mind whether that was bona-fidc
reconciliation or champagne ad-
vertisement. Washington Star
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER Chill
drcn, do you know the house that il
open for ALTO the poor, the rich,
the sad, the happy; to man and to
woman; to the old and to the young?
Do you know the house I mean?
Little Johnny - Yeti, ma'am, I
know. Sunday-schooi tcacher-Wcll.
Johnny, what house is it? Little
Johnny-The station-h house. Halo.
"WHY arc you 50 sad, Drushc?"
asked the critic OF thu imprcssioaist
painter. Il have been at worl, for
two years on my great picture" said
Brushe. "Wcll?" "rhis morniur n
was finished, and my boy, years OF
age, came into the studio" @Ab!
know He got cutting up, and up.
set the picture, and destroyed it."
mo; worse than that. He recog-
nized at once what it was a picture
Of?"-Harper's Bazaar.
Some Facts About Aus.raiia.