St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1894-09-27

toothsome item in the bill OF fare
being corn-on-cob; priced by feasters
more even than quail on toast. The
party entered the field on the side
next to some woods. In few min
debate with the leading revel-
Ter, touching The question Of
the right of eminent do
main. When the boys came up
they found that their canine
ally was second best in the
discussion, so one of them,
having a stone in his hand of the
goose egg species, hurled it at the
leading disputant, hitting the dog
square on the forehead, who at once
"retreated." His contestant, seeing
his antagonists reserves drawn up
in line of battle, sought safety in the
woods.
Later, two animate beings,
bearing the inanimate form ola third,
moved slowly towards the house.
Their bearing was abject, disconso-
late, even lueubrious. After GONZALES
cence, recuperation and recovery the
dog was again invited to visit the
same field at 10 p. M; but he declin
ed with unstinted thanks. Neither
coaxing nor coercion administered
separately, severely, or seductively or
in mixed state, shook the dogs de-
cision.
We think he soliloquized in this
manner: believe the fellow that
1 jawed' with in that corn-6eld
just toyed with me for the practice
and fun that he got out of it, while
he ripped my hide open in N ore places
than I've got toes on both fore
feet, and then hit me a crack in the
head with his fist that sent me hurt
ling across the field and over the
road into the wood-shed, where l
found myself when [ came to. | GER
tainly don't feel competent to debate
with him on any topic and I'll never
go near that ccrn- field again long
as | wear curly hair, so help me St.
Bernard.
Moral: Boys must have good
aims.
TEACHING THE CAT LESSON.
The man who always has a cure
for every i'll and a remedy for every
evil showed one of his strokes Of
genius the other day. His wifes cat
had acquired a tondness for one of
the bathtubs in the house. Of course,
this tub was in the room next to
the dressing room of the master of
| the house. Of course, the master of
| the house doesn't like cats.
Fannie" he said, Il found that
cat snoozing in my bathtub again
to-day"
I'm sorry, DEAR" she said. Il
have tried to break her of that hab-
it, but don't seem to succeed"
We'll, we must have that cat
drowned" he said, tiercely.
His wife protested mildly.
That is the only annoying trick
she has" she said. 1T would be a
pity to kill her"
Then" said the man of the house,
OIL take this thing into my own
hands. Now, I'll just explain to you
how I'll do it. You know how she
gets into the tub. She takes a run,
| leaps to the edge and goes in with
out stop. I'm going to run about
three inches of water into the tub,
let it stand there and let her get a
sousing. You know how d cat likes
water" he added significantly.
He put his plan into operation at
once. That afternoon pussie did her
little hurdle race, as usual, over the
side of the bath tub. The plan
worked to perfection. There was a
loud cry, a streak of cat through the
dressing room and a wet flash into
the sewing room. Near the door of
this room stood a perch on which
rested in peaceful sleepiness a digni-
fed parrot. The cat tried this hur-
die but missed it. and the parrot,
knocked to the floor, added TO the
force of the cyclone which went rag
ing around the house. A table was
knocked over and statue of the
Venus of Milo, already short OF
arms, was made legless, and the
adored baby of the house was fright
ened into spasms, the parrot scolded
and screamed herself into a fit and
afterward the dripping cat, having
made lightning tour OF the house,
was found trembling and subdued,
on her mistress jacket, price sos.
II hope" said the lord of the man
or, when he surveyed the scene of the
wreckage, THAT this will teach your
cat lesson"
81 hope so, said the wife, soothing
the baby and looking at her jacket
with mournful eyes.
There is only one way to go
about such things" said the hus.
band, with satisfaction. II pride
myself on being able to handle ami.
mails" And his wife discreetly said
nothing New York Tribune.