The Washington times., 1894-09-02
TOLD on THE TRAIN;
THE BRAKEMAN AT CHURCH.

To me comes the brakeman, and seating
himself on the arm Of the seat says:
II went 10 church yesterday.
"Yes?" I said. with that interested infec-
ton that asks for more. "And what church
did you attend?"
(Which do you guess?" he asked.
"Some union mission church" haz-
arded.
Nav" he said, Il don't Ike TO run on
branch roads very much. don't often 80 to
church. and when do, want to run On the
main line. where your run is regular and you
go on a schedule time and don't have TO wait
on connections. l don't like to run on a
branch Good enough, but don't ike II. -
"Epscopal?" / guessed.
'.Limited express, he said; 'all palace cars
and S2 extra for a seat; fast time, and only
stop at big stations. Nice line, but too eX-
haustiye for brakeman. All train men in
uniform. conductors punch and lantern
siIver-plated. and no train boys allowed.
Then the passengers are allowed TO talk back
at the conductor; and it makes them too free
and easy. No, l couldn't stand the palace
cars. Rich road, though. Don't often hear
of a receiver being appointed for that line.
Some mighty nice people travel on it, too
'Uniyersalist?n l suggested.
ssBroad gauge said the brakeman, 'does
too much complimentary business. Every
body travels on pass. Conductor doesn
get fare once in fifty miles. stops at all
flag stations. and won't run into anything
but a union depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are vague though, and
the train men don't get along we'll with the
passengers. No, don't go TO the Universal
| ist. though know some aWfully good men
| who run on that road.
| 'sPresbyterian?n asked.
Marrow gauge, ehf SAID the brakeman,
"prettv track, straight as a rule; tunnel right
| through a mountain rather than go round
| it: spirit-leveI grade; passengers have TO
| show their tickets before they get on the
| train. Mighty strict road, but the cars are a
| little narrow; have to sit one in a seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then there's no
| stop-over tickets allowed; got TO go straight
through to the station you're tlcketed LOT: OF
| YOU can't get on at all When the cars fuu
| no extra coaches; cars built at the shops 70
| hold lust so many and nobody else allowed
on. But YOU don't often hear OF an accident
| on that road. It's run up to the rules.
| "Maybe you joined the Free Thtnkersy
said.
s'Serub road" said the brakeman; "dirt
| road-bed and no ballast; no time card and no
| train dispatcher. All trains run Wild and
| every engineer makes his own time, Just as
| he pleases. Smoke IL you want TO; kind Of
| co-as-you-please road. Too many side-tracks
| and every switch wide open all the time, WIFE
the switchman sound asleep and the target
| lamp dead out. Get on as you please anu
get off when you want to. Don't have tc
show your tickets, and the conductor Ism
| eypected TO do ANYTHING but amuse the pas
| sengers. No, sir; was offered pass, but
don't like the line. don't like to travel on
| line that has no terminus. Do you know,
sir, asked division superintendent wner'
that road run TO, and he said he hoped TO die
il he knew. asked a conductor whom nj
got his orders from, and he said he didn { taxi
orders from any living man or dead ghost
| And when I asked the engineer whom ne goi
his orders from, he said he'd like to see any
BODY give him orders; he'd run that train t
suit himself or he'd run it into the ditch
Now, you see, sir, I'm railroad man, and
don't care to run on rond that has no time
makes no connections, runs nowhere, ana ma
no superintendent. 1t may be all right. bu
I've railroaded too long to understand II.
Ibid YOU trv the Methodist" said.
"Now you're shouting he said with SOM
enthusiasm. mice road, eh? Fast time ant
plenty of passengers. Engines carry poWe
of steam and don't you forget it; steam Gaug
shows hundred and enough all the time
Lively road; when the conductor shouts al
aboard YOU can hear him to the next station
] Good, W0Oie-SOuIeu, pdLlIOHdbAS NOAOH~
tors: amt a road in the country where tn
passengers feel more at home. No passes
every passenger pays full traffic rates for hi
ticket Wesleyanhouse airbrake on all trains
too; pretty safe road, but didn't ride over
yesterday"
Maybe you went to the Congregations
church,"
Popular road" said the brakeman; "a
old road, too: one Of tho very oldest in th1
country. Good road bed and comfortabl
cars. Well managed road, too; director
don't interfere with division superintendent
and train orders. Roads mighty popular
but it's pretty independent, too. See, d1dn
one of the division superintendent dow
East discontinue one Of the oldest stations
this line two or three years ago? But it's
mighty pleasant road to travel on. Away
has such splendid class OF passengers.
Perhaps you tried the Baptist?" 1 guessed
''Ah, ha'' said the brakeman; ''she's
daisy. isn't shei river road; beautiful curve:
sweep around anything to keep close to tn
river. Takes heap of water to run
through; double tanks ut every station. an
there isn't an engine in the shops that ca
pull pound or run q mile in less than tw
gauges. BUTT runs through lovely country
these river roads always do; river on one sid
and hills on the other, and it's steady clim
up the grade all the way till the run end