The record-union., 1894-01-30
TIE PEDDLER NUISANCE.
Trials and TribuIations of Most City
Housekeepers.
Persistent Wretches Who Ring Front
Door Bells and Who Ought
to be In Jail.

SPECIAL Correspondence Of REcoRD-UNIoN.1
SAN FRANCISCO, Jan. 28.-I do not
think there is any city in the Union
where peddlers are so impertinenU and
persistent as they are in San Francisco.
They are not the meek, lowly SET some
deluded mortals think they are. On the
contrary, they are bold and importunate
TO degree past ali endurance. If any Of
the gentlemen of Biblical renown who
won such undying fame for patience and
all other cardinal virtues had to deal with
the genii peddler they would straightway
lose that virtue and everyone they ever
possessed or ever thought of possessing
and would become no more nor less than
any other ordinary man. The slight
knowledge l have of peddlers l have OBJ
tanned from the window of my room,
underneath whose casing they station
themselves ike modern Romeos, only
Romeos Invested of all semblance OF ro-
nance, where they hold up their wares
for my inspection, or for anyone else
who may chance to be looking out, ana
in voices varying in different degrees OF
hoarseness from that of the frog of the
bull persuasion to the foghorn on Point
Lobos.
The other acquaintance l have OF them
is from the brief but emphatic colIoqules
I hear at the front door between my land
lady and one of their tribe. The inter
view is short but decisive, and my land
lady comes off victorious. 1t is some
thing like this: a vigorous pull at the
doorbeH Il have noticed that peddIers
always ring with vigor), brief interval
ofsilence, and when the door is opened
a greasy man is confronted, hoarse
voice commences: "Any-' but he
never gets any furth er, for the door is
slammed III his face with more force than
elegance, leaving the peddler standing in
aStOnished discontinue on the front
steps. One of their peculiarltles is that
they invariably make a bee line for the
front door, no matter if they have 10 pass
the back door to get there, and If the
back door Is yawnlng inYitlngly open TO
receive them; by this they strive to show
you that they consider themselves
superior to tramps and hired help and
trades people. They at least hold them
selves in high esteem, even ii the de-
luded mOrtals with whom they conde-
scend to barter and sell do not foster the
same opinion.
For ways that are dark and tricks that
are mean," commend me TO this latter
day peddler. His genius and versatility
In concocting ways and means to torture
his victims would be worthy OF even
Queen Lii or King Grover themselves.
boarding in hotels all my life this has
been my first experience of living III fur
nished rooms. l noticed particularly
that the door bell kept ringing from
morning till night. it could not always
be room hunters, thought, so / resolved
to question my landlady upon the sub
ject. Acting upon this idea, broached
the question one evening. My landIady,
axr
say to the contrary, is small and thin, and
with all her trials and tribulations conse-
Quent to letting rooms In San francisco,
is good-natured. But when l Yentured my
remarks her face flushed with an angry
hue at the rememb brance OF many trials
at the hands of these pests. She gave the
fire a little vicious poke that sent a
shower OF sparks before she spoke. and
when she did speak she launched forth
into a perfect TRADE against them collect
lively and individually.
"Peddlers," said she, "are the pest, the
bane of my life. That they haven't
driven me gray-headed before my time
isn't their fault. They have made me
thin attending the door, you can see for
yourself" And she contemplated her
trim figure in the glass retlectively.
Il Keep a servant to be sure" she con-
tinued, but she has positively refused to
attend the door any longer. She says she
has TO neglect D0E NOEk 10 40 So ana, as
she is good girl, l am obliged TO submit
TO her dictum. one of the little pleas
antries INDUCED in quite frequently by
the demon peddler is this: he goes about
in a wagon driven by a side partner.
They select their house and stop before
it. One of them holds the horse while
the other jumps out, runs up the steps
and rings the front door bell. II you do
not buy he runs down again, jumps IN
the wagon, takes the reins himself and
sends the other man TO the door, so that
YOU have not regained your breath be-
fore YOU are again confronted by a man
selling the self-same article. II you don't
buy do you think they will let you 90 in
peace" She paused impressively. Not
bit Of it. II you don't purchase they
throw the things at you"
| looked at her in astonishment.
''Throw things at you? You are surely
iesting," l say incredulously.
mo, I am not, and if they don't sue
ceed in striking you with their missiles,
which are usually the refuse OF the
wagon, such as rotten eggs, old potatoes,
or any other vegetable that comes handy,
il is because you get out of the way in
time One day peddler aimed not too
fresh egg at me, and II l hadn't lodged in
the door with more haste than elegance it
would have landed IN an unsavory mess
on my head. AS It was it went with a
splash against the side of the house. No,
there is no remedy for the evil"
In answer to my indignant protest Of
why such things are allowed in a city
like this, she said:
"Complaints are useless, and the one
who lodges complaint usually has the
worst of it, by being held in jail as a wit
ness while the cause of all the mischief is
free to 90 and come as he pleases. When
the time of trial comes the peddler is let
off with only slight reprimand, which
he proceeds to forget as quickly as pos
sibie, and this because he has pull with
the CITY Council. Another thing. The
stuff these men peddle through the
streets is only the refuse OF the stores
which these men buy for next to moth
inC because it is almost decayed and no
Ionger fit foruse. This refuse they hawk
about from door to door, and charge store
prices for it, too"
She paused for moment rocking back
and forth comfortably. Suddenly her
form was conyulsed by uncomfortable
hut subdued laughter. AS soon as she
reoovered herself she said: My dear, LET
me tell you what l once did to peddler
who swindled me outrageously; how
did frighten him." And at the recoliec-
ton she laughed again. Presently she
regained her composure and proceeded
with her tale.
s'He was q little shriveled-up China
man with complexion like piece OF
parchment and a little stunted form. He
bothered me nearly to death by coming
to the door day after day and squeaklng
out: 'Shairs TO mend?' He was so per
sistent that 1 finally gave him a chair
which needed a rung IN the bottom. de
took it away and came back with it the
next day. 1 examined it carefully, but
. 10 all outward appearances it was as good
ss new. When he informed me that the
price was 81 L was little bit staggered,
6nt I paid it without exhibiting any
sipns of outward protest. AT that time L
had a very dignihed, portIy gentleman