The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1894-10-07
BROoKLYN NlH's UMBREIEA.
He Has Rules for It's MaaaGsAsse saa
shows His Mastery sf Thsa.

The worst thing about rainy weatheaS oh.
served the confirmed Brooklynits - hs ssAtsd
himself In the bridge car and inclined has UNI
brella at Just the right anglo 10 ssnd . strsam
of water into the overshos Of his ndghbor, ID
the way people manage their umbrellas. les
pei nctly criminal. I've studied the mAttsr. and
I've come 70 the conclusion that somsthtng must
be done 70 limit the destruotiveness Of this mod
ern weapon. Take crowd going along Fulton
street on . rainy day. How many Of EN- know
how to manage an umbrella Not one man
out Of . hundred. sir. And womenf Nos
one woman out Of . thousand Every
individual one Of EN- holds his o. her
umbrella right out in front a. II q ware . bat-
terIng ram. And that's what Il acts - pretty
often. Now when two men earring umbrellas
and going In opposite directions meet. see what
happens. One man raises his umbrella. warned
by the approaching footetsps Of the other. and
the other lowers his umbrella untii It gets under
the other. and proceeds to claw the other mans
face with tho ribs. Then number ons lowers
his parachute with Q spasmodio jerk and Just as
likely As not knocks number two's hat Aging In
sSssss 81 doe q aa
soaking in the rain. Psrhaps Il ends In nght.
ssss Il S1sa rather
ioT thsy always sSnsTtss 70 Gss their rmSrsliss
sods and L ssFss al the sSjsesnt pSpusSs
70 get EN- apart without utter ruin Of apparel 70
both sides.
simply go head on and come together Ike two
infurAted rams, the result Amt 90 bad for them,
only the umbrellA suffer. But I've got . scheme
70 eradicate all such dimculties. Tn going 70
form an Umbrella League, the object being self;
preservation In rainy weather. This league will
have system 70 guide the members when carry
ing umbrellas on the street IL will be simple
and sweet. Here. for Instance, are the main
rules;
& When two persons going in opposite directions
meet pedestrian the lnside shall incline nls UNI.
ssn. 81. and ossT q nd Ia. Gn 0uas 'AA
Fsction slways raise the umbrella.
g. Always carry Inc umbrella in the right hsad.
"There are . few rules," continued the con-
nrmed Brooklynite rising 70 his feet as the car
brells from ;Ss flooded oyershoe OF his nsigh-
Dor. that would do more towaI4 bringing
about the millennium than all Iho POLITICAL re-
form on Long Island Adopt this rules OF the
Umbrella League and make the rainy Autunn
days brighter" concluded the reformsr.
And by way Of emphasizing his point he
iAmmed the end OF his umbrslIa emphsIIcaliY
down upon the pet corn OF the man iust behind
him. turned AZ the howl OF pain from the su ferOr.
thereby scarifytng the features Of q small boy
twisted around again. and With the handle
knoc ked porte monnAie from the hands OF an
elderly LADY who Immediately ShFieked Pick
pockets! and nnally, in the resultant confusion,
s sIATT}sd t1f ths door catching the deadly um;
opening 1t vide. whereby Ii snAtch he'd Inc necktls
from one man, put hole Ia the hat OF another,
hexrly removed the eye OF q third and finally
cpllADsed utterly As Its frantic owner left IL for
the crowd 70 "rsak IL fury upon and escaped.