The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-11-14
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Money talks; poverty also has
way of telling.
Character is what we are in the
dark. RAMS Horn.
This is the next year you expected
so much of last year. -Atchison Globe.
He-"What do you think is the
way to win a woman?" She-"Hers. "
Puck.
Love never turns back because it
sees a mountain or hears lion roar.
Rams Horn.
No man would listen to you talk if
he didn't know it was his turn next. -
Atchison Globe.
"Thou hast cured my heart OF aching, DEAR
Said she.
"rm doctor of divinity"
Quoth he.
Puck.
A Chicago astronomer thinks he has
discovered green on the moon. But
perhaps it's all in his eye.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Some men would have better wives
if they didn't growl 30 much when
ever they give them little money
Rams Horn.
Clergyman-"Do you take this wo-
man to be your wife?" Politician
(absently)-'T authorize the use of
my name. Puck.
Blackston-'I don't see why you
,roor hafr aA uhart - Group,ara
"No; you don't know my wife. >
New York Herald.
Clara-"Pm SO fond of musiol 1
want to play the piano awfully."
Laura-"Well, you do play it awful
ly."-New York Herald.
"What 1 tell my wife, goes. 'In-
deed?" eyes; she takes it to her
mother right away, and pretty soon it
is everywhere. Puck.
"What do you want to be, Fred
die, when you are man?" Freddie
--"I think 'twould be awful nice to be
an orphan. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Bancroft seems all upset and nerv-
GUS this morning; do you know what's
wrongP" "Yes; he caught the train
withoutrunning for it. Inter Ocean.
These be the days that bring to me
A melancholy shook
The frost Is on the pumpkin
NY oYercoat in hook.
Philadelphia Record.
Every cloud has a silver lining, but
the knowledge makes it only the more
gloomy to the fellow who is on the
wrong side of it.-Kate Fields Wash
ington.
The importance of doing one thing
at "a time is illustrated by the fact
that no steamship has ever broken the
record and her shaft on the same trip.
-Philadelphia Ledger.
And now the man OF family
Shows worry in his looks
For John and Tom and Sue and Bess
Must all have new school books.
Kansas City Journal
Grant Allen has written an article
ON the decline in wedlock. The title
is an absurdity. If she declines there
is no wedlock. And when there is we'd
lock she hasn't declined. brooklyn
Eagle.
An Irishman asked Scotchman one
day why railroad engine was always
called "she." Sandy replied: per
haps it's on account of the horrible
noise it makes when it tries to
whistle. ."-Pearson's Weekly.
The soul of the impecunious man
Is filled with dose of tho blues,
For he's trying to figure out how they will
look
When he blackens his tan-eolored shoes.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Robbie-'Tm going to be pirate,
like Captain Kidd, when grow up.
Charlie-'Tm going to be train
robber like Jesse James. " johnnie
"Well, l amt. Pm going to keep a
summer hotel, like Uncle Jake. -
Truth.
At the railway ticket office; "How
much for my little girl?" "Sho is free
if under four" "But she will occupy
q seat all the same. "Alakes no diff
ference" SIN that case how much
discount will you give me on my
ticket if leave her at hOmeY-Flie'
gende Blaetter.
-.It must be pretty hard work
pounding the pavement with that
great rammer, said the idler.
"Shure," said Mr.. Grogan, sit is not
tn droppin' av tn thing on tn
shtones thot is tn har-rd work. at
all. 1t is the hftin' av it up. In
dianapolis Journal.
Ethel-"Here is the loveliest houst
coat that bought for Tom, and he
doesn't seem to care for it the leas
bit" Clara-'I eau tell you how Il
make him value it above everything.
Ethel-"Oh, how?" Clara - "Tel
him that you've giyes it away to SOM
poor man. Boston Post.
10 10 MnHa