Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-10-11

FRESH-AIR BOY - Ml6teT. 90 you
have TO buy chewing-gum for all
those cows?-Harlem Life.
PATIENT--Doctor. why does whis-
ky make my nose red? D0ct0r-Be-
cause you drink 1t, Life.
@DoEs she love music?" sM-yes.
But not enough to keep away from
the piano. Washington Star.
TIE woman OF the future does not
interest the average girl half az much
as the man OF the present. Albany
Argus.
A WOMAN looking for a rich hus-
band Is wonderfully like q confidence
man looking for a farme r.-Atchi-
son Globe.
Miss BEACoN-Is that Mr.. JOwler
interesting? Miss Lakeside--No: he
sits on the far end of the sofa and
talks
To GET entirely out of the way OF
trim girl on a wheel a man must
stand of so far that he can't see her.
Galveston News.
"IF you don't leave at once / shall
call the porter!" Peddler-~Very
WELT Perhaps he will buy something
of Inc. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
WILL somebody come around and
tell reason why woman with
water proof on always wears her best
stockings? Philadelphia Record.
MRS. AT our hotel there were
SO many people to talk With" Mrs
B.-"And at ours there were so many
people to talk about."-Boston Tran
script.
UNCLE-Teil me frankly, Fred,
what Is the amount OF your debts?
Fred--Oh, my dear uncle, just az
much as you please. - Fliegends
Blaetter.
A COLCHESTER paper AYERS that a
hotel in Colchester has a cook sc
good-looking that she mashes the
potatoes by looking at them.-Ham-
ilton Register
KEsHEM-@Why don't you put a
check to that fellow who is everlast.
ingly dunning you?" Bilker-"What'd
be the use? The bank wouldn't pay
it."-Bufralo Courier.
IT Is said some Chinese and many
Africans use the ear as a pocket to
carry coins and other small articles.
If an attempt were made to rob them
they would hear Of it.-Picayune.
WILLIs-Deacon Sniffles says he
votes as he prays. Wallace-Very
likely; they say he prays three times
day, and I've heard Ii iutimated
that he votes fully as often. Life.
M. MAX LEBAUpY. the French
politician, has presented each post
man in his district with bicycle.
This will encourage them to wheel
into line for him. - Philadelphia
Ledger.
DoCToR-How old are you now,
Maggie? Maggie-I am IL, Doctor.
Doctor-Well, declare / shouldn't
have taken you TO be more than 10.
Maggie with an air of mOdesty)-
Oh, you say that to fiatter mc.-Tid-
Bits.
In railroad carriage: She-@That
man sitting opposite to us il a de-
testable fellow" He-@Why so, my
darling?" She-"Because he makes
point of lightning his cigar when
ever we reach tunnel.
Blaetter.
WHAT do you think Of my daugh.
ter's execution, Professor" asked the
fond mamma, as her fair daughter
pounded away at the piano keys.
think, madam" was the reply.
"Why, thai should like to be pres
ent at 1t. Half Holiday.
FAIR MAIDEN (from town)-~How
savagely that cow looks at mel"
Farmer Hayseea-"It is your red
parasol, num-" Fair Maiden-aDear
me! knew it was little out of
fashion, but l didn't suppose coun-
try cow would notice it'd Bits.
FRIEND-"Ha, ha. Jinksl under
stand the manager refused your
farce" Young Playwright-4Yes
but it's no laughing matter, l can
tell YOU" Friend-"Oh, quite be-
lieve you. fancy that was what the
manager complained of."-Half Holi-
day.
"I'M going to have that stock in
vestigated." said the investor.
There's been a good deal of funny
business In that corporation" True
said Barlow; @and I'd advise you to
employ diver to do your Investigate
ing; there's so much water in it,
Harper's Bazaar.
MRS. SUBURB-"Why don't you take
little Johnny to the county fair? He's
just crazy to see shat balloon ascen-
sion and parachutc-jumper." Mr..
Suburb can't afford It. at won't
cost over % cents to get him in"
No, but it will cost US about $40 for
new umbrellas. Good News.
MIR. BIcKER Ito colored servant)-a
@You do as tell you. I'm the mas
ter OF this house." Mrs. Bicker-
"And I'm the mistress of It, so you'll
mind me before anyone else" Ras-
tus-@Dat's all very well. don't
care a picayune witch is de mas'r or
de nissus. What want'r know is,
who's ue boss?"--Truth.
HERE is a story of a schoolmaster
who promised crown to any boy
who should PROFOUND riddle that he
could not answer. One aud another
tried and at last boy asked, ~Wby
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