Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-01-13
ahanda dao

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 thought of progging me-" be exclaimed. II have found 1t useful at close quarters more than once Come this way, Mr. Kill gour."
 He led me to his cabin, which was office and bedroom in one When we were inside he carefully closed and fastened the door, then getting upon his knees he unlocked a heavy iron box, which notwithstanding it's immense weight was fixed to the floor with iron rivets.
 ,'"This is for the ships papers," he ex- plained, looking up with a smile of intel ligence, "but you can put more than hats in a bandbox. Here, take your choice of these," and he lifted an armful of pistols.
 I drew back a step with a quick sensa- tion of chilliness. The startling discoveries were crowding too closely upon each other for my nerves.
 "Oh, you'd better have one," he said in his matter of fact way. "It's nasty to be caught unprepared. l dare say you know something about firearms" /
 e"I know more about fowling pieces than pistols" I answered, taking one with a trembling hand.
 "Well, we'll, you'll soon get used to it. Nothing trains man with the pistol like knowing he may be turned into target at less than a moments notice."
 And do you really mean to say there's danger?"
 "That's just as you look at it. If the risk of being killed without prayers is danger, then we are not in the safest place on earth. That's a good one, MT. Kilgour; take it with you"
 I slowed the weapon away while he rum maged in the box.
 "Here, will you have one of these?" he asked moment later, holding up sheaf of daggers. But they were too suggest i've and declined the offer.
 Well, we'll, so be it," he remarked, put ting back daggers and pistols into their place. "Since you won't have a dagger, l suppose it's no use offering you sword. No, 1 thought so. Well, now for the cope stone of the counsel" he continued, stand ing erect and looking me straight in the eyes. Don't let any one get too familiar. The moment you smell trouble, draw and blaze away. If you don't kill, you will be respected; if you do kill, it's but justice anyway. If you deliberate you're lost. And now, lest they should suspect plot, let's go out," saying which he opened the door and we went on deck.
 For the rest of that day I was hot, nerv- ous, depressed and ill at ease, yet with a certain feeling of consequence. Firearms give courage as the saddle confers author ity. The touch of my pistol hilt thrilled me, and many time did I surreptitiously slip in my hand just to gain assurance by grasping it.
 I kept, as you may think, keen eye on the crew, for though there was not whit more danger now than there had been from the beginning I detected treachery and a murderous intent in every act and look ot the men. l expected bloodshed and tried to convince myself was prepared for it.
 But indeed it was to matter little to me whether were armed or not. The feeling of heat and depression grew upon me hour by hour. At first naturally referred it tc my conversation with MT. Watson. But ir this was mistaken. l went to bed deadly sick, to toss in feverish paroxysms through the long night, and next morning was SC giddy that on attempting to rise stag gered and sank to the floor. When gath cred myself together, the room was whirl ing like huge spinning wheel, carrying me with it in its gyrations. Steadying my self a little, managed to crawl back to my berth on hands and knees, my eyes wei nigh sightless and my brows throbbing as if there were steam machinery inside. NY skin burned with 8 prickly heat, and my throat and tongue were parched, sore anG swollen.
 II am in for it," I groaned. God 1T heaven, and in such hole as this!'
 And presently when MT. Watson looked in to see why 1 was not getting up my worst fears were confirmed.
 I'm devilish sorry to see this," he sait after examining me and hearing my symp toms. You've got the fever that Portu guese chap died of. You brought it oI board with you. It was raging in somt quarters of the city. Pm devilish sorry we're so i'll off for medicine or indeed fo anything that sick body needs But well do our best. I'll make you comfortable and then I'll send the captain to see you"
 In the course of half an hour or so tn, captain came in, looked at me for mo ment as he would at 8 sick beast, asked som perfunctory questions and left me. A lit tie later the mate, too, came in, and hi kindness was, if possible, more cruel thar the captains callousness.
 "There's no saying how this may go, yol know, MT. Kilgour," he said, after lying il his throat by saying he was sorry for me "Fevers on board ship are bad at any time They're doubiy bad on East India traders There's little room, evil smells, no re sources and the devil for physician. If yol have any message you would like delivered to your friends or anything to return t. Scotland, am at your service"
 A man may be dying, but it hurts him t. be brutally told so. For the first time il my existence appreciated the boon of life of the simple privilege of continuing to b and of the sovereign balm of sympathy. shook with fright, and great beads brok out on my brow. Yet neither sickness no fear could keep off anger. To die with forti tude, to renounce hopes, schemes, ambi tions, to lay down life in it's rosy morning hours, when the world is full of promise o bliss.-to do tnss at moments notice an6 with resignation is possible, but it is moi in human nature to be grateful for cruelty The disease had not yet wholly mastered my spirit. There was one fierce spark left and so, rising on my elbow and speaking il a voice that trembled and quivered, I or dered the man off.
 "Go," I said. 'Let' mo never look or your face again. And when you come tC die pray you have better comforter"
 He went without sign of compassion ol contrition, indeed with 8 smirk of disdain and I, falling back with a feeling of being forsaken by God and man, lost heart, ant q scalding torrent soaked the coarse blan kets. And in that moment of dire punish ment, as if present evils were not enough there smote upon my conscience the light ninglike stroke of an accusing memory The thwarted plans of my father, the un needed sorrow of my mother, were as arrows of fire in my soul. Fate had indeed per mitted me to please myself, but she wa' now exacting payment, and the payment was my life.
 had a feeling, say, of being forsaken but in the graciousness of Providence haC a friend even now. Not long after the mat' left me Mir. Watson returned, gave m' some medicine, spoke cheerfully to me, tell ing me to keep up my heart, for that man! a man had had fever on shipboard ant lived long years afterward to tell the tale But could see that out of his humanit! he was dissembling his real thoughts, ant so I determined if possible to get at them.
 You have seen cases of this sort before, said. ''Is it serious? Be plain and tel me if you think I have chance to pull through"
 He seemed unwilling to answer the Ques