West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-03-01
CHAPTER XVI.
Ills PAS MARVELLOUS EscApF.

Got any vaselinel" said the bad boy
to the grocery man as he went into tho
store one cold morning. leaving the door
open, and picked up cigar stub that
had been thrown down near the stove
and began to smoke IL.
'Shut the door. dun you'll Was you
brought up in sawmill? You'll freezo
every potato in the house. No. haven't
got vsseline. What do you want of
vaseliney said the grocery man as ho
set the sirup keg on chair by tho stovo
where it would thaw out.
"Want to rub 1t on PAS legs" said the
boy as he tried TO draw smoke through
tho cigar stub.
"Whnt is the matter with your Pas
legs2 Rheumatizg
"Wuss nor rheumatic" said the boy
as he threw away the cigar stub and
drew some cider I'm broken tea Gun.
''Pa has got tho worst looking hind legs
you ever saw. You see, since there has
been so many fires Pa has got offul
scared and he has bought three fire es-
capes made OF rope with knots in them,
and he has been telling us every day
how ho could rescue the whole family in
case of fire. He told us to keep cool
whatever happened and to rely on him.
II the house got on fire, we were all to
rush to Pa, and he would save us. Well,
last night Ma had 10 go TO one Of tho
neighbors where they was going to have
twins, and we didn't sleep much, cause
Ma had TO come home twice in the night
to get saffron and an old flannel petit
coat that broke in when Twas kid.
cause the people where Ma went did not
know as twins was on the bill of fare,
and they only had flannel petticoats for
one.
"Pa was cross at being kept awake
and told Ma he hoped when all the chill
dren in Milwaukee were born and got
grown up she would take In her sign
and not go around nights and act as
usher TO baby matinees Pa says there
ought TO be law that babies should ar
rive on the regular day trains and not
wait for the midnight express. Well,
PA he got asleep, and he slept till about
3 o'clock in the morning, and the blinds
were closed, and IL was dark i'm his room.
and i had to wait for my breakfast till /
was hungry as n wolf, and tho girl told
mo TO wake Pa up, 80 went up stairs,
and ! don't know what made mo think
of 1t. but had some of this powder they
make red fire with in the theater that
me and my chum had the Fourth OF July,
and put 1t In wash dish in tho Lath-
room, and ! touched IL off and hollercd
fire. was going TO wake Pa up and tell
him 1t was all right and laugh ut him.
| guess there was too much fire or
yelled too loud, cause Pa jumped ont of
bed and grabbed u rope and rushed
through the hall toward the back win
dow that goes out on a shed.
IL tried to say something, but Pa ran
over me and told me to save myself, and
l got to the back window 10 tell him
there was no fire just ~ he let himself
out the window. He had one end OF tho
rope tied to tho leg Of the washstand.
and he was climbing down the back side
of the shed by tho kitchen with nothing
ON but his nightshirt, and he was the
horriblest looking object ever was, with
his legs flying and trying to stick his
toe nails into the rope and the side OF
the house. don't think man looks
well In society without nothing ON but
his Dightshirt. didn I blame the hired
girls for being scared when they saw Pa
and his legs coming down outside the
window, and when they yelled went
down To the kitchen, and they said q
crpzy man with no clothes Int pillow
slip around his neck was trying TO kick
tho window in. and they run into the
parlor, and / opened the door and let Pa
In the kitchen. He asked me II anybody
else was saved. and then ] told him
there was no FIRE. and no must have
dreamed he was In hell or somewhere.