The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1894-03-23
ARE PROPOSALS PREMEDITED?


Are proposals premeditated or not asks an
English writer or social topics. Do men make
up their minds to marry. or do they drift into
marriage, so to speak? Does propinquity or
opportunity brings about greater number
of propos ais than does actual intention? This
is problem that greatly perpleXes mothers
with manageable daughters, and they are at
a loss to understand why it is that their daugh-
ters' admirers do ndt develop into suitors. The
girls are pretty, well dressed, and Off ages rang
ing from eighteen to eight-and-twent and
men of their different sets men who ride dance
and play tennis and golf with them, and with
whom they are on the best of terms.
Mothers, looking back to their ow girhood
are dsmayed at the difference between the
past and the present, and each matrOn re-
members that she was wOOed and won with |
in, say, ten days of first meeting, wherein |
her dan ghters are still unsought al. err months |
oeconst mt companionshp. Is it that in formes |
days men were more lmpulsive as we'll as
impessvaable, and than in these days they |
are impressionable but not impulsive' or is it
that the comradeslip that is now established
between young men and girls robs the sltua
ton of every shadow of romance, while this
footing of frank friendship, induces girls to
assume sort of brusque, self-reliant in
dependent bearing, the reverse of sentimental
and coniding? This may account in some
measure for the position TINT gills occupy tC
wards men, but hardly sufficiently so to be
the only cause for the gravity of the sitaation'
Anyhow, it is humiliating to their powers Of
attraction to find that after months pleasant
social intimacies, the most valued acquin-
tances cool off, make flying visits to the States,
perhaps only to bring back American brides.
and insta II them in county society. Nothing
| remains for it but to accept each bride as
fat acrompH, although one chace the less re-
mains for the group of girls into whose midst
she is brought.
From statistics cleaned, from condolences
| and careful observation, it NAV be laid down
III 1T very young men are more prone TO pro.
pose from deliberation than older men youth
and fancy going hand in hand as against ex
parience and hesitation. On the one hand,
they fall in love, as the old-fashioned phrase
goes, and propose. Ga the other hand, they
rsther drift from liking into affection, but are
not always ready to propose until some gentle
pressure is brought to bear from without
This is perhaps Que of the most delicate opera
tons in social anatomy. Sometimes the
father operates upon the heart and feelings Of
the laggard in love, pleading tn at his daughter;
happiness is at It IKE, etc. THIS is rather an
awkward moment for both, Tut it generally
resul in a satisfactory arrangement Of the
m after, and the propos, Il is Only made. Many
men require this plternal touch before taking
the final leap. A mo hers interference is
rather resented than not, aud she seldom vec-
lures upon such an extreme course. A warm
hearted mutual friend is, perhaps. one of the
best auxiliares girl can have. She can say
so much for her, and can say 1t so well, aud
she can hint at preference which is fattering
to most men if not to all BY the SAINT token
amutual friend can do untold mischief and
convert dawnins admiration into studied
avoidance. In her eagerness to throw a
couple together she rouses III one of them
fear of being made ridiculous, most antagon-
stic to a sentiment akin to proposal. 1t is
not too much to say that otficous kindness on
the part of a tactless woman mars many
budding inclination which but tor her IN
reference nigh. have resulted altogether
diffe rently.
Men verglng toward forty, or even lit
beyond it, often make premedtated proposals
actuated by various reasons, considering that
if they do not marry at forty they are not like
ly to marry at all They wish to settle down
and enjoy their possessions. They are
matrimonial prizes, and much coveted by
mothers for their daughters. Men who have
| arrived at this age must have done one of
TWO things, either lived society life, and
number all the young beauties among their
acquaintance, or have come fresh from our
colonial dependencies ready to propose to
the first pleased girl they happen to come
| across. They fall IN love at first sight, and
| the proposal is made within week or so.
Many proposals are the result OF circums-
tances, and are surprising alike to both sides.
lucy "CiC HpI, uOl edCu luc6S,
but they drifted together nevertheless these
| proposals cannot be called premeditated, they
come about from the force of events which
| often bring together the most unlikely people.
Older men, over fifty; make distinctly
premeditated proposals to women of certain
age in whom hey hope to find congenipl COM
partnership, and women with money are often
found willing to exchange spinsterhood for
wifehood under such conditions, viz, suitabili-
ty of age and position.
| As the matter stands it seems pretty evident
that as many pr emedtated as unprecedented
proposals are made-only that there are so
few when all is told. Is is that the good
fellowship that now exists between TIM sexes
acts as barrier to any tender sentiment joined
to the extravaganza Of the age and the self
indulgence which is so characteristic of bot!I