Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-02-01
A DEMON UMBRELLA.
One That Was Not as Easily Lost
as Usual

street restaurant of the Astor house
the place where you feel as if you are
down cellar in the pyramid of Cheops,
and where you can look out of sub
terranean window across a stone crypt,
which promises mummies, into that
garish courtyard. the Rotunda, ard
catch glimpse of a mural camel and
have the Egyptian idea further real
lied.
odd notion you have" said Hartley,
while we were waiting for coffee, "that
of carrying the poorest um brella in New
York
My umbrella was poor, but it was not
altogether my fault 1 explained to
him that a few mornings before a
thoughtless gentleman, name and pres
ent address unknown, had inadvertent-
ly walked off with my hat and UMBRELLA
while 1 was being served in a barber
shop, leaving behind his own, che hat
a season in the rear Of the goddess FASH
ion, and with a red lining in it. and the
umbrella somewhat battered and bulgy.
"A messenger boy brought me a new
hat, but the umbrella / took along. 81
believe" / continued, ''that I'll throw
that umbrella away tonight and get a
new one in the morning. A bright
idea struck me 'Tn leave it right
here" said and tucked it behind the
steam radiator, unseen of any.
The dinner was soon over, and we
rose and started out l had forgotten
about the umbrella 1 heard a quick
step behind me and looked around.
'.Ah. re shentlemap forgeets hees um-
brellaI' exclaimed the waiter, and with
a grand flourish he held out the shabby
wreck in all its horror. took it and
we walked out.
''Did you see the pretty girl who was
dining with that old boy on the left
smiling at your umbrella?" asked Hart
lev. had observed that smile.
Come up town with me-" l said.
ssI'Il leave it in the elevated car-no
trouble about leaving an umbrella
there-Pve left two there during the
last year"
II can't do it," replied Hartley, who
is employed on a morning paper. Il
shall be late tonight Besides, l
couldn't impern my social standing by
walking with a man who was carrying
such an umbrella Better jab it In the
first ash can you come to-"
made no reply to this bit of pleas
antry and walked off, carrying the UNI
brella at a modified parade rest. AT
Park place 1 took the elevated. Inside
/ sat down next kindly-appearing old
gentleman who was reading the Even
ing Post. As we swung in under the
STEADY glow of the great Judson me-
mortal cross he folded his paper care
fully, apparently with the intention OF
getting it bound, took Off his gold
trimmed eyeglasses, smacked his lips as
if the intellectual draugEt had been
satisfactory, and said:
Pardon me, but can you inform me
where l can find the lost and found
bureau of the elevated roads?"
Down in the neighborhood of Morris
street." answered.
"Ah. indeed-thank you. / left my
umbrella in the train this morning and
I must look it up tomorrow.
sYou may find il there" said en-
.couragingly. 1.-THE place is upstairs
A blonde young man with puckered
mouth will meet you, and after taking
down a minute description OF your UNI
brella, together with the exact minute
of the loss, and the road, train, car,
seat and station where it occurred, he
will retire into a sort of an UNI brella
library, Wherc ne mas ABOUT louF tuou-
sand of them arranged and catalogned
on shelves, and look the matter up"
"You have had the experience" OBJ
served the kindly old gentleman.
MANY tlmes," returned. carelessly.
'T usually have one or two on deposit
there" 1 had slipped the ancient spec
linen 1 was carrying over next to the
window, and was leaning forward SO
as to hide it "Twenty-third street,!
shouted the guard. 1 rose and started
back hastily. felt my heart beating
as approached the door. Then came
the voice of the old gentleman. Here,
here.'' he called, sharply; you've for
gotten your umbrella" 1 turned and
took it from his hand. Game near in
creasing your account with the road,
eh?" uDa .&e u!d .eprohate chucizlad as
he sank back in his seat step live
ayr' beloved the guard. turned and
ran out; the gate smote my heel as l
reached the platform. An elevated
GUARD would have had no trouble in
6isposing of the remarkable Mr..
ACHILLES.
/ stopped a. the news stand on my
lway out and bought an evening paper.
I..Hi there, boss" said the porter.
l$.you's Ieavin' yo' umbrella" picked
h M and fed down the stairs.