The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-07-25
cRANKs IN WASHINGTON.
This Glass of Unfortunates Strangely
Attracted to the Capital.
~ r-1.s.--
From the Chicgo Record.

resigned his position about twelve wears
ago. and spent ten years in Washington
TO have congress make an appropriation
to purchase the exclusive use OF a new
mathematical rule which he had evolved
ITO square a circle. FINALLY after being re-
buffed by Senator Voorhees,, the Hoosier
scnooimaster'' left Washington, but not
until he had squandered several thousand
dollars trying TO have congress adopt his
mathematical suggestion. An unusually
large number of eccentric irdi-
viduals have been in Washington
recently hanging about the corri-
doris of the capitol Senator Palmer
is a shining mark for cranks. The ven
cradle Illinois Scion is so good-natured
and forbearing with these unfortunates
that they follow him continually. There
are two peculiar visitors in his committee
room daily, To say nothing of the hun
bred of others who occasionally drop in
and pay their respects.
Nathaniel Johnson Coffin formed the
acquaintance of Senator Palmer shortly
after the latter arrived in Washington.
Previous to that time he had been for
eight years regular visitor to the Sen
ate committee room on pensions. In an
old army haversack which hangs over
his shoulder he carried bundle of papers
stating that he was wounded both in the
iuries he wants an increase of pension.
Every day he enters the room in most
reverent manner, bows serenely to the
senator. goes over q long grafton about
OK post facto laws and changing the con
stitution, and asks if he can see the Pres
dent. He is Just as regularly assured
that he must ''be patient" and wait until
the President is in the city, or has not IA
busy day" Several bills have been
brought to the senator by the man, ask
ing for the impeachment of The President
but the officials about the capitol are too
humane to eject the old fellow, on account
of his good nature.
Every morning there may be seen an
other crank in the same room. He is an
old sea captain who is asking for an alp
preparation of Sl00.000,000 to connect the
Mississippi river with the great lakes
This great contriver is also working at a
scheme to revise the money question by
issuing certificates on all of the country's
cereals, which are to be stored in great
warehouses throughout the country I'm
til recently the pension committee was
ANNOYED by another erratic claimant, who
received an allowance Of $50 month but
asked for more on the ground that it was
inhuman to make man live in single
blessednesS" all his life for want of a pen
sion large enough to support wife. He
visited the capitol regularly for twelve
years. DUJ al ldSO DbCdlu6 ulSOfQ6fly and
fell into the inevitable clutches of the
capitol police.
Another curious figure at ''the big
house on the hill" is a swarthy foreigner,
who plods about with a long staff. his
hair streaming over his shoulders, wear
ing a sort of a bag for hat, in which he
carries his lunch and credentials. This
old fellow has been working for some
years on a scheme for retaining the Po-
tomac fats for district reservation. In
South Washington there dwells a poor
fellow in an old umble-down house who
has a notion every Presidential election
that he is a candidate for Chief EXecu-
tive. Although sane on all other topics
he begins once in four years, as soon as
the campaign fairly opens, to canvass his
nelghbOrhOOd for votes. The poor fellow
gets so wild on the subject that he mag
ines he reads accounts of his success in
the newspapers.
George Dunlap is the son of very
wealthy and respectable citizen of George
town. By reason of his eccentricities he
bad caused the unfortunate family great
modification. He wears in all seasons a
straw hat, white pan falcons, and a gray
coat, but the popularity about his APP
parant deformity in his build, which he
effects by padding his shoulders out
about foot on each side, making him
look like an immense wooden block His
sleeves are cut so long they hide his
hands and as an addition to these self
inflicted disfgurements his black hair is
always cut square around the front of his
face, and all have been shaved SO that
the hair grows in a straight, black streak
all the way down the back of his
neck. There does not seem to be a curve
IN any part of this strange creature
body, and when his tall form glides up
the street, with his large enveloped arms
& CT. 9rrl,F a 20 h; L
presents most weird appearance. He
is very wealthy and quite sane on some
subjects, but he has always padded his
shoulders and worn long sleeves, evil
IDENTIFY the suggestion of a nightmare.
This strange fellow few years ago had
PLAYHOUSE built in one of the rooms Of the
family mansion, and it is said that for
many years he slept in this little, boxed
place, and would not be seen in any other
part of the house.
Another unfortunate character who at
tracts great deal of attention is Par
ker the painter" He has. probably. the
worst case OF water on the brain known
TO modern science. He walks about the
streets carrying an immense head, about
loot in diameter, with as much apparent
ease as though he had only the ordinary
weight upon his mind and to make his
case as conspicuous as possible to the hu-
man eye he has always worn a military
cap evidently made to order, 1t is known
that Parker sold his head several years
ago to one of the medical institutions of
Washington, to be dissected after his
DEATH and that it has been on the market
ever since, being sold several times by its
purchasers to the highest bidders of the
profession. Parker is perfectly sane on
most subjects, and it is his continual re-
gret that he did not start his head rolling
N the medical market by charging more
Tor IL at the start. for it is continually in
creaSlng in value as it goes from one
owner to the other, totally Disregard vi
Of the title of the man who by nature is
me only rightful possessor.
IN Georgetown live an old man and his
daughter who are often seen on + street,
which has become prominent promenade
week days. The old gentleman is de-
posed Polish nobleman, who was banished
70 this country some years ago. He and
MS daughter have suffered mental
dgonles over their misfortune to such an
extent that they have become partially
qemented. The young woman wears
oIack curls banked in great mass about
her head, and very short skirt, which
was probably in vogue when She as a
enid, enjoyed the pleasures Of royalty in
1eF mother country In their home in
georgetown, which they imagine 10 be a
royal castle, the daughter has erected a
Elgl throne IN a ralafforrn IF Huhifa satin