davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
AN AID TO MILKING.

The Ccllegian's Advice to His Father Which
Resulted Disastrously.
A college student in one of our west
ern states returned home after his course
was finished to find that his father, a
clergyman with small salary, was
eking out his living by running small
farm. One of the adjuncts of the farm
was a COW, pretty good animal, which
however, had a strong aversion to being
MIXED. 4..-
Here was an opportunity for display
of the lately acquired knowledge of the
juvenile collegian.
Father" said he, professor q. says
if one will place a weight upon a cows
back it will make her give down the
milk" ..t
The reverend gentleman, favorably
impressed with this information that
his son had learned from Professor G.,
decided to try the simple remedy. In
stead, however, of placing a weight
upon the cows back, the clergyman
placed himself upon it. But then he
answered the purpose. The COW, how
ever, was still obstinate.
"Tie my legs under the cow" said
the father to his son.
The son did so. But the COW, unused
to such unusual and arbitrary proceed
ings, manifested her displeasures by
rearing and plunging, entirely unmind-
full Of the dignity Of the parsonage
astride her spinal column. It was get
ting altogether too interesting for the
two bipeds concerned in the transac-
ton.
"Cut the rope, cut the rope!" shout
ed Mr.. Y. to his dutiful son, meaning
the rope by which he was attached to
the COW.
But the son, being somewhat excited,
cut the rope by which the COW was fas-
tened to the stanchion. At once avail
ing herself of the liberty thus offered,
the COW took an unceremonious exit
from the stable, and down through tn
street she went. The minister accom-
panied the COW, but in manner not ex
actly beftting the dignity of his profess
sion.
AS it happened, one Of the sisters of
the congregation was on the street as
the race was in progress. Surprised at
such sight, the good sister cried out,
"Why, Brother ", where are you 60
ing?"
His sense of the ludicrous coming to
his aid, Brother V. shouted back: ''The
Lord and the COW only know. I don typ
The clergyman was eventually rescued
from his awkward perch and never at
tempted the feat again.-Voice.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
SIGNING THE DECLARATION.

Flies Pestered the Fathers of the Republic
as They Created It.
Jefferson was fond of telling story
which illustrates in forcible manner
the Importance that absurdly insignifi-
can't matters may sometimes assume.
When the deliberative body that gave
the world the Declaration Of Independ-
ence was in session, its proceedings
were conducted in hall close to which
was situated a livery stable. The
weather was warm, and from the stable
came swarms of flies that lighted on the
legs of the honorable members, and Bit
ing through the thin silk stockings then
in fashion gave infinite annoyance. It
was no uncommon sight, said Jefferson,
to see member making speech with
large handkerchief in hand and paus-
ing at every moment to thrash the flies
from his thinly protected calves.
The opinion of the body was not
unanimous in favor of the document,
and, under other circumstances, discus
sion might have been protracted for
days, it not weeks, but the flies were
intolerable. Efforts were made to find
another hall, free from the pests, but in
vain. AS the weather became warmer
the flies grew worse, and the Tapping of
handkerchiefs was heard all over the
hall as an accompaniment to the voices
Of the speakers.
In despair at last some one suggested
that matters be hurried, so that the
body might adjourn and get away from
the flies. There were a few mild pro-
tests, but no one needed them, the i'm
mortal declaration was hurriedly copied,
and, with handkerchiefs in hand fight
ing flies as they came, the members
FASTENED up to the table to sign the au-
thentic copy and leave the flies in the
lurCh.
Had it not been for the livery stable
and it's inmates there is no telling when
the document would have been COM
pleted, but it certainly would not have
been signed on the Fourth. -Philadel
phia Press.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
THE ORIGIN OF MAN.
Aneisns Beliefs Ths Issas :Wsesa fAe A.
easfprs or tls1 III nM NJ FRi1eL

Aneisns Beliefs Tha Tfeas Weeoa fho A.
osstors Of TIE HannSn Raos.
The descent Of the human race from
some particular species Of tree is one 6
the oldest myths that can be found rum
ming through the folk stories Of every
nation. In Virgil we find reference
to the race Of ''men who took their birth
from trunks Of trees" and among some
Of the early commentators on that
statement we even find speculations as
to the particular species of tree from
which the race sprung. The very earliest
Egyptians as well as those who lived
under later dynasties had legend Of
the ''tree of life" and many Of the
leading Investigators, both ancient and
modern, have expressed the opinion
that from Egypt came the Biblical story
Of the ''tree of knowledge of good and
evil" which graced the original garden
made by the ALI Wise for our first par
ents.
Professor Thistelton (see his "Folk
Lore of Plants'') believes that the Scrip
tural narrative cited is survival of the
belief in the stree descent Of man, I"
and that the abiding faith of mankind
in the tradition again crops out in Rev.
citation, where the ''tree of life"
plays as important part as that of the
famous tree mentioned in the first book
of the Bible The natives of Madagascar
have tradition which is believed and
perpetuated among them to the effect
that the first man was born alive from
a tree, and that he Immediately set
about making himself "a helpmeet, -
fashioning her from knotted limb by
the aid Of q mussel she'll carving knife.
Marsden's History of Sumatra". tells
us that the people of the Philippine is
lands also have the tree descent legend
among them, and King, in his Life
Among the Bushmen of Australia, :"
says that the people there habitually
live among the trees, because ''they are
taught from infancy that their early
ancestors were trees endowed with the
faculty of speaking and moving about
from place to place. "-St. Louis Re-
public
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
Couldn't ssDo" John.

He was busted sport, with very
much soiled linen, and when he found
a laundry check issued by the only
Chinese laundry in Carondelet he
thought he was fixed. He took it to
Johns washhouse and demanded the
clothes it called for. The washerman
took the ticket behind screen, where
he had long consultation with the
other Chinaman. After time he came
out and asked: ".
''Shirtee?'
eyes -
Collar
& eyes. :" ~
"Hanchiff?''
eyes. -. ..
''Socks?'' -.
eyes. - .,.s.-s .--.
Here Johns patience vanished, and
throwing open the door he yelled:
"All one big iel'-St. Louis POST
Dispatch.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
PORTLAND'S SMALLEST HOUSE.
Three Rooms Crowded Into Space Not
Large For One.

Three Rooms Crowded Into Space Not
|. Large For One.
For upward of 10 years Portland has
had within it's corporate limits one of
the smallest dwelling houses in this
broad land of ours. At first glance it
might be mistaken for playhouse, as
it stands alone in the center Of the block
on Northrup street, between Nineteenth
and Twentieth.
The place has a history, and many of
Portland's residents have made them.
selves familiar with it by personal in
quiry and investigation. About 10 years
ago, so the story goes, seafaring man
happened in the northwest portion of
the city before streets had been opened
and graded, and, struck by the beauty
of the surroundings, determined to build
himself an abode in which to pass his
declining years.
home as much like ships quarters as
possible, and in this he succeeded ad-
mirably. The house contains three
rooms-kitchen, dining room and bed
room-and occupies a patch of ground
about 10 by 10 feet. 1t stands about 9
feet in height. The kitchen is just large
enough to accommodate cook stove and
table, and the dining room is sufficient
~ large to allow two persons to move
about. The parlor and bedroom COM
bined contains couch, two chairs and
a table and resembles the stateroom of
an ocean steamer. The bed, or berth, is
located three or four feet above the
floor on chest of drawers and is hidden
from view by handsome lace draperies.
By lowering panel on the opposite
side Of the room bright array of CHM
ware is exposed to view, and the panel
itself may be used as table or writing
shelf. -Portland Telegram.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
May Outshine Her Mother.

The little daughter of Harriet A.
Ketchum, the late Iowa sculptures, is
said to already display marked artistic
ability. Unlike her mother, however,
her sensitive nature finds it's best express
sion in music rather than clay and
marble. This little girl it was who was
born to Mrs. Ketchum shortly after the
completion Of the famous statue of the
PERI in Rome, and who thus has ev-
cry right to share in her mothers love
of art Her name is, Economically
enough, Roma Beatrice, and it was her
small fingers that unveiled the ''Peri''
at the World 8 fair last year, the loyal
Iowans having loaned it to adorn their
state building. Mrs. Ketchum's last
and largest achievement "a magnificent
design for a soldiers monument, COM
pleted just before her death in 189O-is
one of the sights of Burlington, Ia
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
New Statues In New York CITY.

Five new statues have recently been
set up in the parks and squares Of New
York-the Columbus, designed by a
Spaniard, in Central park; the Roscoe
Conkling in Madison square, the Gree
ley at the junction of Sixth avenue and
Broadway, the Ericsson in Battery
park and the Nathan Hale in City Hall
park-and among these the last named
is the only which can be called worthy
of its cost and its place either as giving
pleasure to the eye or as likely to in
spire initiative ambi Ions and patriotic
thoughts in the minds of our fellow citi-
zens. Garden and Forest
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
BOUGHT FREEDOM Writ DEATsi.,
Nes Reroo Horses Foflowed Their Leader
1855 Over, tho Clif sf

~
Mes perse Horses relieved Their Ieade,
Over tho CHE. 20
The hardy little Nes Perce horse Ii
quite we'll known in 8 way, but few
people know what remarkable courage
and sagacity he has. When the Indian
war swept the Nez Perce country, the
Indians gathered about 5, 600 horses
into y valley that fonted on the steep
bluffs Of the Columbia river, and there,
with the great white mountains at their
back, prepared to make their last des-
perate stand
In the battle that followed they were
defeated, and the small fraction Of them
that remained unkilled put to fight.
The horses, shut in by the steep noun
tains on the one side and the steep river
bluff on the other, had to be left behind.
When the battle had closed, the SOL
diers Of the volunteers (for only a part
were regulars) made rush for the
horses, but they could not lay hands on
one of them or approach them
And now for the first time it was no.
ticed that they were under boy herder.
The boy was unarmed, entirely naked
and as red as copper. 49,
The boy had no bride, but wove his
hands into the name, and thus guided
his black horse at will at the head of
the herd.
The volunteers dropped on their knees
here and there around the edge of the
circle and began to fire at the boy. At
last bullet struck him. His body flew
high into the air and then fell and rolled
in the dust.
The horses now divided as they came
by. Their nostrils were distended at the
smell of blood, and their eyes ablaze at
the sight of their young keeper in the
dust.
On the second round, after the boy
fell, the black leader seemed to run
sidewise, his eyes fastened to his little
dead master until they looked frightful
from under the black name.
He plunged on around and came to
the very edge Of the beetling basalt
bluff. Then there was sight as of a
| sculptured image of horse poised in
j., midair, and mad, wild cry, such as a
horse makes but once-a cry indescrib-
able-that filed the valley.
Men looked away, and when they
looked back the black statue was gone.
Then, faithful to the leader, over the
bluff into the foaning white water went
another horse.
And then 10, SO, 500, the whole
5000! Not one of all the herd was left
to the invading victors, and the stream
was literally choked with the dead
Joaquin Miller,
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
The Boy Aeassiz.

Louis Agassiz was SO expert a fisher
man when little boy he, could catch
them in his hand, fascinating them first
by strange motions Of his fingers. He
kept number Of pet fish in stone
basin behind his fathers house and was
clever at tanning field mice and all sorts
Of It5le animals and insects. Hewas an
expert little cobbler and cooper, could
make water tight barrels as well as a
man and manufactured pretty shoes for
his sisters dolls C Chicago Inter Ocean.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
I Snuff; You Sneeze.

"What on airth do you want money
to 60 to the show fur?" exclaimed Mr..
Haicede to his wife
II don't see why mightn' t go and
enjoy myself once in awhile, same as
you do. .
Same as I do? Good lands, woman!
Every time go to a show, don t I come
back and tell you about every thing
seen? What more do you waEt?'' In
danapolis Journal.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05

esOne1 10ve, and tWo Ilove,. 5s
Three ! lave. 9 she's saying,
And around the maidensS lipg
MEMBERSHIPS ars playing.
'.Four I love with III my heart.
Five and six-and seven
Surely to me long his heart
Hath been. fondly RivenI'
''Here I find another seed.
Eight both loves. know It.
And still another? Nine he comes-
I find just here below itl''
Softly doth the shadows lie
Over all the grasses,
And the light wind whispers low
AS through the trees it passes.
In the sky the cloud fleece flies,
Pursued by sun ray kisses,
For they are too cold to thrill
With loves delicious blisses.
But there cometh through the mead
The maiden's blithe young lover.
Comes-and then the apple seed
Many truths discover.
M -Lollie Belle Wylie.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
@offon1pooo 2]0(ills

Custom grinding solicited. Will grind
wheat for ] Zone eighth or exchange 81
lbs. flour, 5 lbs shorts and 5 lbs. bran
for. one bushel of wheat Flour and FEED
sold at low prices and delivered at New
Ulm free Of expense.
John BeniZin.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05

The most remarkable meteor on rec
ord in that of Dec 81, 1876, which
originated in Kansas, glided over Mi,
souri, to the south Of Lake Michigan and
became lost near Niagara falls. It ex-
ploded with report like that Of an
earthquake.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
Dinner Service worth s1eo. GOO.

The silver dinner service which Mrs.
J. w. Mackay has with her in Europe
is worth 800, 600. Her millionaire hus-
band furnished SIS, 900 in weight of
pure silver and then paid another $115, :.
600 for the work done upon it. The
above is, ] believe, reckoned as being
the most costly silver set now in use in
the world st. Louis Republic.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05

Alpine Guide And now, gentlemen,
as soon as the ladies leave of talking
you will hear the roar Of the waterfall
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05

Spentini declared that with him ma
ture was the best Inspiration His
choicest compositions were conceived in
the fields and woods.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05

India has had % governors general,
Warren Hastings being the first.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-09-05
HOW HE RODE FREE.
HE BEAT AN EASTERN RAILWAY OUT
OF $40.

Conductors Were Deceived by Him For
More Than = Year-A Simple Scheme
Which Required Only Nerve and Self
Control-Tricks Of Conductors,
The record-union., 1894-07-21

ready, sufficient, appropriate food for
nervous tissues all over the body. Its
ingredients represent the most fruitful
years of Professor Phelps practical study
OF the nervous system in disease.
After taking Paine's celery compound
the blood no longer creeps in a thin. slug
gish stream, but the arteries gradually be-
come filed with rich, strong tide of Wig
orOus red blood that reaches and bathes
every tiny nerve and muscle fiber in the
body.
Headache, neuralgia and loss of appe-
tite and strength cannot continue when
such healthy arterial blood, full of ruddy,
lfe-giving corpuscles. and capable of
quickly repairing the waste OF the hard
worked nerve and brain tissues, replaces
the thin. pale fluid, full of bad humors
and lacking in nutritive value.
Thousands of men ana women whose
daily life is making severe draughts on
their vitality need Paine's celery COM
pound.
None are too old to be helped by it;
none are too young to be at once bene-
flied. 1t permanently cures every kind
of nervous disease. It quickly brings
new material to the worn out nerve CEN
ters, and removes the one cause of the
many forms that nervous diseases take:
Dyspepsia, sleeplessness, heart disease,
rheumatism, melancholy, kidney and
liver troubles. AS a relief for the debii-
tating effects of this hot season, nothing
can do so much.
The record-union., 1894-07-21
IN THE MORNING.

''Grind your ak in the morning, my boy"
Twas u gray ola woodcutter spoke
Beneath whose arm, on his backwoods farm
Had fallen the elm and the OAK.
The hickory rough and the hornb2an tough
Had yielded TO wheat and corn,
Till his children played meath the apple trees
BY the cabin where they were born.
"Grind your ak in the morning. my boy"
He said to his. lusty son,
aOr the heart of the OAK Will weary your
stroke
Long ere the day is done.
The shagbark's shell and the hemlock knot
Defy the duh, blunt tool
And maui as you may you will waste your
day,
If you nave the strength of fool.
'.Grfnd your ak in the morning. my boy.
Bring the hard bright steel to an edge,
The bit like a barb razor keen
The head like a blacksmith's sedge;
And then through maple, ironwood and ash
our strokes resistless shall drive,
Till the forest monafchs around you crash,
And their rugged hbers rive.
"Grind your. ak ere the sunrise shine,
With long and patient care,
And whet with oilstone, sharp ana fine,
TIL the edge viii clip a hair.
And whet, though you reel Ger the stubborn
steel,
Till the toll your right arm racks.
Pray, how could you cut the white oak butt
III you had but pewter ak?
'.Grind your ak and be ready my lad
Iheu afar in the forest glen,
With steady swing your stroke shall ring,
Keep time with the stalwart men:
But If You miss your grinding at dawn,
You'll never know manbood's Joys;
No tTfumphs for you the hong day through,
You must hack the brush with the boys"
"Grind your ak in the morning - heard
Lies watchword rude but clear;
And my soul was stirred at the homely word
OF the backwoods sage and seer.
On, youth, whom long day lies before,
Heed heed the woodlands warning?
Would you fell iifes oaks with manly strokes,
You must grind your AK in the mornlngi
And he who dawdles and plays the fool,
Nor longs for virtue or knowledge,
Who shirl1s at work, plays truant at school,
or sscrts'' aud ponies at college;
Whose soul no noble ambition fires,
No hero purpose employs.
The record-union., 1894-07-21

the Paducah (Ky.) Standard, one of the
most influential newspapers in that part
of the country, writing about month
previous, said:
II have used several bottles of Paine's
celery compound for nervousness and
general debility, and the benefits have
been marked. consider 1t an invaluable
remedy for nervousness and exhaustion,
the result of confinement, sedentary
habits and long sustained mental and
physical exertion. l. take pleasure in
recommending it to anybody who may be
thus afflicted. This statement is made
without solicitation and with no other
object than to add my testimony to that
of others as to the efficacy of what be-
ieve is nleritorious renovator Of the
human system"
And n. j. Dilday. one of the publishers
of the same paper. says: II was troubled
with nervous attacks coupled with sleep
lessness, and tried Paine's celery COM
pound. Two or three bottles convinced
me that it is not without merit. / am
we'll pleased with it, and consider it val
liable remedy for nervousness caused by
overwork and sedentary habits. L am
never without it.
Thousands of testimonials come un-
asked for 10 the proprietors of this rem
edy. the discovery of which by Dart
mouths greatest Professor, Edward Il.
Phelps, NJ. D., LII. D.. is one Of the ablest
achievements of recent times.
Paine's celery compound furnishes
The record-union., 1894-07-21

Paine's celery compound makes people
welli
From the wilds of Maine to the land of
golden sunsets, from Canada to the Flor
ida reefs, rich and poor, men and women
in high places, and those who serve their
country equally as well by being simply
good husbands and good wives-all man
ner of people are being benefited by
Paine's celery compound.
The alacrity with which those in high
positions, knowing that their example is
likely to be followed, and wishing that
their experience may help others-the
alacrity with which hundreds of such
grateful people have given their unso-
licited testimonials to the value of this
greatest remedy is unique in the history
of medicine.
Here is letter recently received, with
his photograph, from II. W. Van Senden,
the brilliant private secretary of Hon.
John q. Carlisle, Secretary of the Treas
ury:
WASHINGTON, D. c., April IL, 1894
I have used several bottles Of Paine'S
celery compound and its beneficial ef-
fects were manifested in a very much i'm
proved condition OF the system. Those
who are overworked will find it a splen
did tonic and nerve invigorator.
IL. W.. VAN SENDEN.
Mr.. James A. Bryan. the city editor of