The Coconino weekly sun., 1894-06-28
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Day We Celebrate. Gentlemen an lady, my tongue falters wen contem- plate the bottomless immensity of the theme and realize that, with the undy- ing confidence you have ever reposed in me, you have entrusted 1t to my care. Can I do it justice? [Cries of Tackle it anyhow, judge.]
 "Go back with me, Mrs Porter an gentlemen, to the first original origin of this day. The soil of this now ex- tensively discovered country had never yet felt the passionate kiss of white mans foot. At the base of Plymouth Rock band of Injuns was camped. They arose one mornin', as had been their custom for years, an prepared for the usual duties of the day. A war rior who had gone to the waters edge to wash his dusky face an no less dusky hands suddenly disturbed the peaceful echoes with the startlin' cry: Sail, ho!' N.
 "'Whereaway?' shouted the chief, in great agitation.
 "'Thereaway,' he responded, point ing out over the breast of the discon- tented waves.
 Ear out at sea sail was discovered. Nearer and nearer it drew, risin' an fallin' on the impatient waves, an as 1t neared the shore the natives beheld with awe a lordly man in kingly dress lookin' through telescope. Lady and gentlemen, that man was Columbus, and he was at that moment engaged in discovering America. The natives drew back in timid alarm as the vessel approached an ground her prov into the sandy shore, and moment later Columbus stepped ashore an claimed this ge-lorious land an planted in the sacred soil the great flag of freedom an liberty, counterpart of which is now afioatin' over us, thanks to the paterotic spirit of our beloved goddess, Mrs. Porter. Wild applause. That, feller citizens, was the Fourth day O July, an ever since that day has been one of rejoicin' over that fortunate dis covery. Oh, feller citizens"
 "Beggin''the speakers pardon" said Gabe Harker, who had gone down in the audience where he could better hear the judge, but aren't you little mixed in yer dates, yer honor? We do not cely ybrate the diskiyery of America to-day, but the birth of the immortal Washington. We are here"
 "The court will not permit itself to be interrupted. It knows wat it's talkin' about. an if the cradle-rocked gentleman from Philadelphia is gropin' in blind ignorance, he should endeavor to suppress the fact an set still an try to learn somethin'."
 "The gentleman from the cradle O liberty is endeavorin' to throw some light on official ignorance. l tell you, sir, we celebrate the birth O George Washington an not the landin' O Co., lumbus an the Pilgrim fathers. l know, fur my father fit under Wash ington."
 "An' the court knows that the liberty brat doesn't know wat it's talkin' about" the judge retortcd. "We cele- brate the diskivery of America. Ain't I right, Big Sam?"
 Big Sam said he really didn't know, but he thought a judge ought to know more than a common miner.
 "Of course he should" the judge con tinued, "an' if the offspring from a dug-out cradle interrupts me ag'in I'll jump down there an teach him les son in paterotism."
 "The one-hoss jedge of half-hoss court cant teach me nothin'. If he comes down here I'll beat hole in the ground with him."
 The judges coat came off like a flash, and he bounded from the plat form. Gabe was waiting for him, and the two men came together like in furiated bulls. The excited crowd surged around the combatants with eager interest, some encouraging the child of liberty, while others urged the judicial light to greater efforts in defense of the honors he had accorded to Columbus. On and on they fought, kicking, biting, wrestling, striking, until at last the Philadelphian bore the judge to earth and jumped on his prostrate form with both feet. Then the bystanders interfered, and the de- feated man, more dead than alive, was picked up in an unconscious condition and borne to his cabin.
 While the dance was at its height that evening sympathetic group stood around the rude bunk on which rested the demoralized form of the judge. Opening his swollen eyes the injured man feebly said:
 Boys, reckon got licked"
 "Got it piled onto you in purity fair shape, jedge," one of his friends re- piled.
 "I desarved it, boys, fur bein' so durned forgitful. My memory ain't pannin' out much good dust as I git older"
 Deserved it, jedge? Was you fol lerin' a blind lead in the Columbus business?"
 "Yes. reckon Gabe was right, an want you to explain to him that won't lay this up agin him. I've been layin' here thinkin' it over, an now it all comes to me as plain as day. It was Christmas wen Columbus discov- eredus, an not the Fourth"
 CAPT. JACK CRAWFORD,
 'The Poet Scout"