The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-09-02
WIT AND MIsnoM

How do YOU like your new fat"
Mr.. Howler-''It's simply perfect. It's
SO small we can't invite anyone to vista
us."-Inter-Ocean.
-Herdso-'How does il happen that
Or. Emdee is so popular with his lady
patients?" Saidso-"He tells them all
that they are Ito young too die. -
Truth.
She (haughtily)-''I beg your par
don, sir; you have the advantage o.
me-" lie Gauntilyl-'I should say
years go."-Boston Transcript.
-Accepted.-Th ancient knight
leaned lightly upon his lance. MARY
-" The modern maid was on his neck
in az instant. Oh, RsdericlS.' she
cried, "this is 50 sudden"'-Truth.
Better Briggs-"I tell You
there's no place women show 10 botter
advantage than in New York" Griggs
-"Umph. You should see the same
women in bathing al Narragansett." -
y. y. sun.
-Papa's Sarcasm. --Father-"i was
met at the train on my return By n
band" Friend-"Ah? A brass band7'
Father-''No; hat band. NV son
wears one of these dude straw hats -
Detroit Free Press.
Banks from his berth, feebly)-'i
say, steward, do you think It's all up
with me2" Steward (cheerfullyl--
"Hevery think, for the present, sir;
but your happetite viii be z-comin' by
an by."-N. Y. Herald.
Counsel for Defendant-''True yOu~
honor. my client did call tho plaintiff n
donkey, but at the present high mar
ISet rate OF those valuable animals -
this not rather a cornpl at than 9TH
crwise?''-Fliegende Blaettsr.
England Is very wet country
said the tourist who had just returned
True enough. !" replied the man who
had never been out 81 his native coun-
try. Il understand the present reign
began in 1881 "-Pittsburgh Chronicle
From the Orient The suitan-''i
an 10 be married next Monday. and
again on Friday ncxt Won't you grace.
by your presence, az leas, one Of mJ
weddingsg' The Shab--"Hsw provols-
ing Have weddings Of my own fer both
dates. Life
A little Dor was coming home witk
his mother from church when he heard
her saying that the sermon was uoa
worth much. The little boy irntnedi,
ately turned round aud said. oh.
mother, what could you expect FOR a
halfpennv7''-T it-Blts
Man Of the House in load AMI
angry voice l-"Coufound 10, shut thst
door, you. ont there Shut that door.
right away Servant appearing. vita
dignity DO ser know zho yez i hol-
leriu' st77 Man - the House ico.lapsed'
oh excuse re. Bridget I th0ughs
4; was ny wife. r-Puc&
-Maude-" Nr. BHskin. The actor,
must think a good deal q Miss Tn
dastud5. a bis COMPANY. When they
net to-day he kissed her just az = shs
had been his wife" kzts-'Oh. much
more warmly than that ] shoald $50
he kissed hsr jus; - = she wzsn't ia
wife Boston Transcript.
Fran sehlemille< fstzndsnz Win
her second Husband a. the grave ~ her
S-sts-~Yes. here Re les. the brave
warrior. Tou would certainly rot 20
ny husband today II ny dear John
lad not died th= death sf hero on the
battlefield = Herr SehleEulIlsr pen
var = the ezrss of ha.
Eszzi;y. --Ze.tsPseg.l-
"A Poin:sd Question -Jude.-sThs
sccassa declares thzt he pzTtook q
various heavy WINS q, your hoass %
the evening Ia question: i ths; err
r-ctT Witness "a landlord G-'.Husrs. Z
.ert2iElT remember his ordering sss>
sral bottles % EaEgsRay Jadye--
kssliT7 And pray wi4s did y0s give
LIzT@-L Br0utteEx.