Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1894-07-26
DIET OF PIE AND c1prp
One Way Of Accounting for the
Englander's Crabbedness Wv

Englander's Crabbedness
1t is quite plausible that his dis,
largely responsible for the New r..
lander. His crabbedness and ohdu.s
are the natural consequences az =
Puritan; nut three centuries q, y,
ealing anu cider drinking bavs ~ ~
qucstlonably uttered additional ".
juice into hi blood. The Proyidar".
Journal claims authority for the !,
Sc ,ion tlat pie has been a graa,o.
mu.ai and physical bane to New Emo
laHd than whisky. One NAV M, i.
able IN support of ii 10 point an,
an instance where, after eatlny
quarter section, a man went home ana
killed his wife. The methods az \.
pie-eater are slower; he kills with
lingering torment, with hurrying a.
in and day out the meek, long-sutfe.
ing wife. Miss Wilkins has shown !,
Pembroke" what pitiless, mira
lenting brow-beater a man can max
of himself through indulgence Of II.
pie habit. Were it not for his abno,,
NAL appetite for pies-suggestinp I,
his fancy that even pies made from
the weeds of the field are edible-ons
could declare old Cephas Impossible
but, having that appetite, he is wholly
credible. Iron-jawed Deborah ThayAr
whose unrelieved asperity was tbo
cause of little Ephraim's tragic esca.
pade. was likewise a victim of thl,
New England vice. Miss Wilkins hss
her undergo poetic but equisitely in,
punishment, and whether the poor hor
died of his mothers cruelty or Of ops
of her cider-cooked mlnce pies doesnt
in the least affect the meaning Of the
situation.
Mr.. Kippling is the last TO remark
upon the gastronomic depravity of the
New Englander. He told someone IN
London the other day that his Yer.
mont home was on the border of thu
great pie belt" and wher asked
leading question about the temper .,
the people he now lived among re-
piled, thoughtfully, with: Have YOU
considered the physiological condition
of people which eats pie for break
fast, pie for dinner, pie for supper
and takes sweet stuffs between
whites? Dyspepsia is endemic; Won
can't expect anything else" Such
diet is VIGOROUSLY unhealthful. Ac
companied by the drinking of bey
erage that turns the juices of human
kindness to vinegar, and influenced
by the climate that "makes brains
more than muscle, and nerves more
than either" and the action Of 1t all
upon constitution singularly irrt
table by inheritance might have been
accurately foretold.
All New England, all New YORK
state, part of Pennsylvania, most Of
Maryland, and the country lying be-
tween the northern and southern lin.
its thus indicated to as far west as
the western boundary of indiana,
comprise the American pie belt In
the back counties, especially, do the
people serve pie at the three regular
daily meals. and the children, when
they can, by hook or crook, eat it at
all times. Hot doughnuts and cheese
are not half such luncheon fayorites
On many an urban breakfast table
the pie still holds its own against the
restrictions of the doctors and the
protests of the yentricles. which have
to extract from it nourishment. Prob
ably Boston consumes more pies than
any other city in the belt. They have
Ahere the Target pie factories. We
have here-it is not said boastfully-
the little brother of that factory,
which is tantamount to saying that
as eaters OF what Johnson called
'pasty" we cannot occupy any closer
relation than that to Boston's full.
grown reputation. They have there
pie factory that not only stands on pa.
triotic soil, but one that is located IN
am old church building. And thus
the shadow of Bunker Hill and the
shade of Cotton Mather both help to
consecrate this native form Of des-
sert-Cotton Mather doing his part
upon the upper crust, which is doubt
less the essential cause of its utter
indigestibility.