Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-03-14
FUN.

Rost nIace to hold the Worlds Far
,iSbt around the waist. - Boston
Herald.
Mary (practicaD-A beautiful ring'
nv dear: what did you give for II?
Eleanor (poeticaD-Myseif'- if'-Lile'
Businesglil,e: Young sprigg-"M N Mr.;
Bidquick, am worth S5O,OOo ana l
love your daughter" Mr.; bidlulcN
(retired auctioneer)-''SoId. iii'''-
go Tribune.
Sbe-Sir, what do you mean bg put
ting your arm around my waist!
He-Do you objectE ,.u
She-Mr. Arthur Gordon, III give
Won lust five hours to remove your
arm.-Beacon.
Countryman-Can sell you wagon
load of apples this morning!
Pro,rietor Gn astonishment-No,
sir. This is a cider factory. (oharply
to cIerk) Jacobs, show this man out
Chicago Tribune.
Dudely-I think the term grass
widow is very deceiving.
Friend-How so?
Dudclv-Because they are not green
at all. One of them says she is going
to sue me for $4,000.
Sam Johusing-Iuh, did you hear
de parson say dat whoebber had stole
his pumpkins would go ter de bad
place?
jim Webstcr-IEeah. hcahl amt l
glad | didn't steal muffin but cabba9es
"Oh, Edward, why are you SO late!
| nave been so frightened"
Edward (who has "taken in" cham
pagnc supperj-" Portant bisnish, m
dear
Wouldn't it keep till tomorrow
"No love; not after corksh drawn"
Life.
"You shouldn't have taken NO for
an answer so readily, Charley" said
his more experienced friend. Don't
you understand that a girls No often
means 'HesE"
"She didn't say NO. Jack" re-
sponded Charley, utterly without hope.
She said Nav" ."'-Boston Beacon.
Chicago Girl-Oh, auntie, we've just
! been out shooting at the target. Great
sport, | tell you. Boston girl-Nes,
indeed: / fully coincide with Belinda,
although the diversion is somewhat
arduous. / succeeded in perforating
the bovine optic three times in success
sion.-Kearncy Enterprise.
Close Cull-Nay-Charlie, you must
be careful and not :.pose yourself.
You were out in all that rain last night.
Charle-No, / wasn't. Want made
you think so? May-Why, papa came
home and said he met You coming
from the lodge, and that you were
thoroughly soaked.-Kcarney (Ncb)
Enterprise.
He-Where are you going, my pretty
maid?
She-I am going after 19-cent rib
bon, 29-ccnt stockings. 39-cent cash
mere, Accent silks, 59-cent velvet. 60
cent gloves, 79-ccnt hats, S9-ceut
shawls, 99-cent umbrellas, and all the
other bargains in the paper, sir, she
said.-Mmsey's Weekly.
4 shrek came from the plrlor, and
the mother rushed into tie room in
great agitation.
"What is it, NV dangh,cr:" she ex-
claimed. "IIas this-Ihis person from
New York been rude or uncivil:"
"NOt Intentionally, mamma" said
the young Boston maid, family. But
1t was painful shock. lie said hip
popotamuses' instead OF 'hippopota-
mi. mi.'"-Chicago Tribune.
First Suit-''Where have you
been?"
Second Suit-"Laid up"
Friend-What are you doing all dav
in the Cooper Union Library?
Newspaper HumoriSt-You see, one
of my jokes has been published in a
New York paper and | am watching
the people reading the papers to see if
somebody don't laugh over it. A fel-
low almost giggled yesterday.
Amateur Humorist Cto bowlegced
boy)-''Do you always walk like that.
sonny?"
Boy-''Naw. l sometimes run. -
Philadelphia Inquirer.
First Citizen-''What are you doing
out in the rain without your coat?r
Second Citizen (fnding his breatbl
q just escaped the storm"
First Citizen What do Won mean y,
Second Citizen-''My wife let her
weeks washing fall in the mud. and |
got out the front way before the blow
came r-Phila1alrb;o T,z.:.