The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1894-03-25
SOCIOLOGY.


scrrr Mrs Bsraiug's studio In the back building Of
her houss on Washington Square AlsrFs pleasant
rosm with three vide north windows; enough
rug, and easy chairs to make Il comfortable and
,ufacisnt selor n lite cushions and hsnsinss to
warm 70 the eye vithout any prominsnt effort ~
artistic decoration Mrs. HARDING IL standing By =
rousd tabis At side Of the room. lingering her
watch. and waiting. The knoctsr on the door int
the eorndor sounds, and she ssiis "coms in" Mrs
Arm,trone and Ars Bgsrton snteL
Mira Eeertou: we met at the front door.
Maria and came up together. 1t IL beginning
to snow. Oh. what perfectly beautiful light
in this room"
Mrs Armstrong; Yes. and isn't q studio .
lovely place. no matter whether anybody
knows how to paint or not"
The ladies' aid each other 10 taking OF their
wraps and after nom ents hesitation. seem
prompted By the same understanding. and
take OF their bonnets and gloves as WELL and
nut them down on distant sofa. They then
seat thsmss elves at the table The three are
refined. vsll-brsd looking women under forty.
, They are well dressed. we'll appointed. and
agreeable voiced; no one OF them Is without
personal charm. and Mrs. Egerton. the young
est OF the three. IL strikinGly beautiful They
all share. too. in q certain seriousness OF de-
meanor and though old friends. they seem
little con strains and an xious as they confront
each other. MIRA Harding 10 the oldest and
Rrsvsst Of face. and 1t is she who speaks first.
Mrs. Harding: Il am going to run over the
talk We had the other day which led MP to our
meeting this afternoon. because think 1t will
lead us more easily into what we want to dis
cuss We were speaking OF Alice Fitzpatrick's
, slopemsnt with her husbands secretary. and
you said. Eleanor. that she was the lset woman
you would have thought likely to do such
thing, she always seemed so reserved and
thinking Of serious things: and l said that
We should all be very much astonished proba-
lbly II We knew what our neiRhbors were really
thinking about: and then brosohed an idea
which I've often had that It would be interest
ing for two or three friends to meet and tell
each other honestly their Utmost thoughts
and guiding impulses. Molly took It up. and
we agreed to meet to-day and confess the abb
solute searching truth OF our lives to each
other. not from mere curiosity. but from psy-
Geological interest. and an idea that It might
Be helpful to us am the Oldest and am
ready to begin l shall tell you the truth.
From the age Of fourteen up to my present
age OF forty. the dominant. pervading instinct
and interest OF my life has been to please and
attract men: and next to that has been the
wish to conceal that this was so was more
carefully looked after than most young girls.
for never was allowed to 20 out In the street
without . maid. and that was more unusual
the prim little girl who walked down Fifth
avenue with q respectable attendant at her
side and two pigtails down her back. was in .
culver OF JOY because sho was going TO see
the elocution master at eleven: Lot childish.
pretty joy. but passionate JOY. 1t sickens me
with distaste to recall the state OF that child's
mind. and to think that my little Sylvia may DO
In the excitement OF some kindred condition
now From the very first it has brought con-
cealment with It I did not even conflde
in my schoolmates about the elocution
teacher. I supposed that was the
only one who was thinking about him. and I
used to wonder how they could help being
thrilled by his fascinations. and now have
NO idea that they did help It any more than
did. wasn't considered frivolous. and my
school mistresse always treated me with con-
sideration as Q sensible and thoughtful
young woman. knew from odd sd m onitions
to the school at large that the idea that any
nice young girl could be occupied with such
sentiments As mine would have shocked them
beyoud words. Had they been different In
their youth. or had they forgotteuf Were our
mothers different or do they forget. or do they
lisf 1t seems to me that women OF the past
generation often lie out OF respect and loyalty
to the 'old-fashioned ideal OF womanhood.
which was placed before them as an idol.
The school that went to was the usual first
class girls school OF that day. was there for
ten years. and graduated with Q rolled and
muddled brain ct eighteen. Through those
years no study or tendency Of thought had
been presented to me which. after various
other undeveloped attractions beside the elo-
eution master-sn orarorto singer here. q leo
turer on chemistry there. served to distract
me from what now seemed to me at eighteen
10 be the chief business and charm OF life: the
business OF attracting the appreciation OF men.
Inever sat down to think II over. but my
senses. my brain. my heart were as perm Gated
With fancies about II. and unack owledged
plans about II. as Q vet sponge Is soaked with
water or course. I did specifically occupy
myself with other things. with clubs and
classes. and music and painting. but a. COM
pared with the pervading interest OF my life
they were as breath of air to q strong wind.
married when was twenty-five. and I
Was In love with the man married. And ever
since have loved and even liked my husband:
his ten perament is sym pathetic to mine. I
like the work he does. and admire and re-
spect him
For the frst Ave years after my marriage
the whole question seemed settled for me. but
then the old instincts gradually Awoks In me
again. / must not do myself injustice. I
want to DO fair to myself and to other women.
who have gone through the same vein OF ex-
perienca You must not think that I did not
do my duty. kept my house carefully. and.
Indeed. gave devoted care to my children.
In fact. am called domestic. for teach Syl-
Via to sew. and l hear my boys Latin les
sons every day. IhAve never fallen In love since
ny marriage; there has never been . time
when ifmy husband or one OF my children had
fallen Ill. should not have given myself up
utterly to loving care and nursing But as .
matter Of fact. they never have been very Ill.
and have had so much time My nurses are
admirable. really admirable: l don't mean
specifically so. change cooks without any
great wear and tear; my household goes on
easily. lust as yours do. and the greater part
OF my time is given over 10 vagrant emotions
concerning the half dozen men who come
Intimately to the house. and the agreeable
novelties whom I meet here or there. Do
theJ like ms2 Do they ad mire msl How can
best show sympathy with this one and ap-
peal to the tastes of the othsri Now. isn't this
pretty business to absorb the vitality and
seuTity OF . woman's brain resent It. /