davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
rruqaqAycr WV, AYD H5Tr'.

Einc,y.,w, per cant. %; 0u- crime Is tho
result OF lntoNiratin; iilHor'.-tlrroH D.
Wright.
Lori Eoseborry mas ASSURE drputhtion
of English tnmprrancr women that the GoV'
rrnmrnt will uSf il b"S; cnlrlNprs 10 p'ss
the Veto bill this session
Sir An rev ClrrS, th' general physician
In the largest hospitnl In London, says that
seven out o every ten person treated theEe
owe nero il!-henIthto drInG'
10 drlnking habit Is disappearing IN leo
IanI. nnd with II crime. In 1870 only 'lSn'
npr.ons were imprlsoue on tho who'e ls''
nnI, the population o. watch Is little oN"
10000
Jon,n has been peculiarly blessed in tenn
nor me, missionary work, snvs Sho Newolo'
Calls como from all tho provinces Tor nlpei-
iny, AMI lectures, and young people osPoc'
aly are earnest and Interested
A prominent physician OF san Francisco
savs 'No cigarette that ever heard o' -
lrSo from opium. Beyonl question tno Dpy
who smokes cigarettes stunts nlS $500
wre,;s his nerves and weakens ms hcar' am
ridnev. lonl, before he reaches manhood.
Ohio WESLEYAN University at ITS recent
oo,nmencement conferred upon Miss i. T.:
NilinrI the title LID IN recognition OF
her slntesnanliko anllny nnl her lhost'-
mible sprylres for tho purlt0atloh OF lh'
laws of this country an their righteous ems
torcement.
Miss Wlllarl SAYS "I once asked Thomas
A Edison II he were a total abstalner, anu
when he told me that no was l sa'd' may 4
inouite whether II was home innuenc' that
made YOU sop ami no replied, NO, think
il was because 1 let thar hac better uss ior
my head
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
A OrESElN.

81 am very much puzzled about
Dickie Doddle.,' said ono yoans wo-
man.
al don't find him 50 interesting a5
all that, - replied another.
1T takes an emergency to develop
character We went rowing toSathe:
the other cyenins--.hc employed II
man 10 handle the o,rs-and do You
know. he never attempted to rock the
boat
as there anything puzzlins about
that?"
Certainly. didn't know whether
to attribute it to intelligence OK iudo-
lence. Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
SWEETNESS LONG DRAWN OUT.

A year or two ago Mr.. Du Marrier
limited that, finding his Punch
eauties looked better very tall, he
eliberately added to their stature.
he strange thing, says tho West
pinster Gazette, is that this year
ature has taken hint from Punch.
Ee have only to 60 into the park OF
morning to see it. We can Judge
pr ourselves. And it is not that there
ke some very tall girls, but that they
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
NOT THE FAULT or TIT SYSTEM

Banks strengthens his memoir nv
the use of system OF mnemonics, 10
learn which he paid the inventor 81.
Rivers intrusted package to Banks's
care the other evening nnl the latter
apologized next morning for havin5
failed TO deliver it.
''The fact is, Rivers" he sail, al
forgot all about It,"
"But how about that So system o,
mnemonics?'
THAT SYSTEM" retortcl Btrks,
hotlv, "is all right. | forgot to 1p.
ply 1t, that's all."-Chicaso Tri5dne.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
kyOMAN'S WORLD.
r,sANT LITERATURE FOR
FEMININE READERS.

-, SLEEVES FOR TAILOR DRESSES.
amor has il that the tailor-made
'.ssare to boast quite small sleeves,
those which you meet continue to
,r large ones a great mistake this,
srd The small sleeves are un-
,btedly more appropriate to the
'nlo outlines of q skirt and coat,
|, ch the large ones may be cordially
cemed and welcomed again on
Mons. grenadines and chiffon
I,ces New York Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
TRAINING AZ orrtcr roY.

Gaswell -"How is your new oalco
boy getting alongP"
Dukane-"I've been able to get n
little work out of him since l broke
him of the stamp.collec;ing habit, Of
smoking cigarettes AMI OF whistling.
am now trying to persuade linn not
to go out to look at the score oItener
than once in two minutes. "-PittsburS
Chronicle. Telegraph.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
nrMAnKAn1.r H,rrrs nr .,.1rs.

Diner-"Waiter, there are lots OF
flies in this soup"
Waiter-"Yes, sir; curious thing
about flies, sir, they have the whole
restaurant to fly about in and yet they
are not content until they get into the
soup, where they are not only
drowned, but scalded into the bargain.
Yes, sir; hies is curious things. -
New York Press
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
AN uNANswERAnLE ARGUMENT.

'When / was u young man, SAID COCO
old man, II did not care for the concern oi
eternity and was very different from what !
afterward became. Aye, there was an inidei
once who used 10 come and argue with me
about religion, and one day turned to MN
fore 1 gave my heart to God Now tell me,
was | a better man then-nay, was haii rs
good a man AS L have been sincey and tho
skeptic had not word to say" There was
no answering this plain argument. Tho skep-
tic know what sad, siniu young man lhis
old man had been before he was brought 10
Christ and could not deny the change ihh,
had been wrought. A changed life is indeed
one of tho greatest arguments for an innde
TO answer. There he sees the power OF uou
unto salvation. .--Exchange.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
MONT REGULATION,

The citizens ami free men OF Canton Uri,
in Switzerland. have lately in 70 iur ii spe-
cinl clause into their 90 H. TO this effect ANY
hote-kecrer or inn-kocpcr who gives his cu4-
toners sufficient intoxicating LIQUOR to rem
der them unconscious or unnblc to walk
straight or steadily home. shalt be Obliged 10
afford them bod for the night. and adr.
quntc board and lodging till such timo "a
they are completely recovered. No fee. cost
or charge shall bc made 10y the said hotel.
keeper for tho said board aud lodging. Tho
Constitution
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
MORE ASTONISHING STILL.

Kennard ton first glimpse of the
sea- -"Astonishing Who would have
thought there could be as much water
as that?'
Underhill-"rrue, aud remember,
you only see what's on top. Truth
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
HE READS THE PAPERS.

Mother-"How comes it that your
shirt is on wrong side out and one
stocking missing9 Have you been
swimming?"
Son-"Well, mother, If you're go
ing to be an investigating committee,
/ simply can't remember anything
about it."--Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
HIS OBJECTION.

Jilson--"W do you thing of the
proposition to put the United States
flag on postage stamps:
Jenks-"Don't like 1t.
"Why not?"
cold Glory has never been licked. /"
Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
TEMPER ANCE.
Iiauon ANp LArnn.

In ono OF the towns OF Illinois banker
put his private mark on the money he paid
put on Saturday night 10 the wagc-worsers
of the town who patronzAd his tank and
IN Monday night, OF the 500 paid out, and
marked privately, over $500 had come back
20 him from the saloons Of that town There
s nothing that cramps, belittles and dwarfs
the possibilities OF tho labor movement In
America like tho saloons. Frances l.. vii.
lard
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
FAMINE MEASURES.

''Eyer wrecked on n desert islands"
"No."
az was once, for four weeds."
.'Didn't you nearly starve?'
'No; but / caught an awful cold. l
ran out of cigarettes on the fourth day
and had to cut up my gum shoes. -
Indianapolis Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
A yonLr AMY W Ansruvrnl.

The proportion oi ah,trncr. amongst tho
greatest inlrllorts ofthr Garth - much greater
than th" proportion of nb~trlnrr1 IN the
community generally. Amongst thrm in-
stance Sidney Smith. Cardinal NInning,
Professors loicstan. Newman AMI Green, Of
oxford Archdracon Farrlr Dr. Lightioot,
late Dishop ~ Durham Dr Trmnl'. Bishop
ot London John Bright. Dr. 7. u. Lees, DR.
J.. W. Richardson. Presidents Lincoln and
Garfield. Lloyd Garrison Wendell Phillips.
Harriet Martnrar, NJ. Chcvrrul, tins great
French chemist. who lived to over oua nun
drod years, and nj whom 1t was written ,
drinks no wine and has ~" tsH.'.
Charles wnteron, ,tncl,.
now a.s.,,,, ..
~
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
AN INDIGNATION MEETING.

First Barber "What do you think
OF people who shave themselves?"
Second Barber--"rhey ought to be
compelled to cut their own hair. -
Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
NO DECEPTION.

Young Fastkind-"I thought you
told me this horse was without fault?"
Stableman-"So | did. sir.
Young Fastkind-"Weil, L notice
one OF his eyes is blind.
Stableman-"rhats not his fault,
sir; it's his misfortune. ~ Harper's
Bazaar.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
AMBIGUOUS.

Chumleigh-"Oh, Miss Vavasour,
you are the only girl | ever loved. "
Miss Vavasour-"H How fortunate the
other girls with whom you are ac-
quainted ought to consider them
selves. Kings Jester.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
PROM HEADQUARTERS,

Featherstone-"I hear you are go.
ing to nova Gr AingwayT' -,
Ringvay--"Move ! should like to
know where you heard that.
Featherstone-"You landlord told
me so. Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
PEU 80 thoms

,,uR." The Ini, .Nih,a4,. ,.,.. . :. s.,
the renowned physician. said 81 rhink that
instead OF dying to alcoho', rs many people
10 whcnthcy ARE exhausted, they might yeIy
we'll drink water, or they might very we'll
take food, and would ho very much better
without the alcohol. II am iatigIel with
overwork. personally, my food - worry sim
pie | eat the raisins instead OF taGin: thu
wine. have had q very lnrgn experience
IN that practice for thirty ycnrs. -Alianis
NnMa-
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
RETURNING PROM THE HONEYMOON.

He (angrily)-"Why do people stare
ut us SOP"
She e-"Probably wondering, as we
are, why we married each other. ~
Truth.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
GETTING EXPERIENCE.

visitor--"Where is your mamma"
Little Girl-"She has gone out for
Ave minutes two hours ago. The
Club.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
AN INEVITABLE RESULT.

"Well, Ethel, congratulate me. I've
Just sold my horse.
"Good; who bought him?'
"Your father"
"Great Scott. George, do you realize
what you have done? Alas! in two
weeks father will he forbidding me to
see you. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16

'sNow tell me truly. dear, she said,
"wlll you forget me when I'm dead
And leave naught to remind you
or me2'"
''Don't fear that | shall e'er forget
I've only need TO pay. my pet.
The bills you leave behind you,"
Said he.
New York Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
WHAT lie MA9.

Bobby--'Papa's the captain of our
ship and mamma's the pilot"
His Teacher -"And what are you?"
Bobby-"rm the compass, | sup.
pose-they're always boxing me. -
Truth.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
NOT IN 1T.

The Gas-"You and I don't stand
much OF show when there are a pair
Of spoony lovers around, do we?'
The Lamp-"Nope; get turned
down every time. Buffalo Courier.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
zoo LIBERAL.

Is Cholly parsimonious at Nll?"
"Parsimonious? Why, he is liberal
to recklessness.
"How did you discover that?'
az heard him telling Chappie that
he was going to give him a piece of
his mind. New York Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
A SURPRISE.

Cholly-"Do you aw--aw-know,
Miss Cuttah, that I--aw-have thom-
times thought
Miss Cutter-"Really? Why how
nice And how did it happen?"-
New York World.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

He CouIdn't Forget-Getting Expert
ence-The Fitness Of Things
Not In It-A Surprise
Ambiguous, Etc.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16
THE rrrNEss OF THINGS.

"Mamma is thinking of buying a
dog"
"Reallyl What kind?"
ooh, she's not particular as long us
it matches the carpet" - Boston
Budget.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16

ARIZONA stage e-irivers report that q vos-
aims. ninety miles northwest Of Ph@aix,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-16

BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
He CouIdn't Forget-Getting Expert
ence-The Fitness OF Things
Not In It--A Surprise
Ambiguous, Etc.
'sNow tell me truly dear, she said,
s.wlll you forget me when I'm dead
And leave naught to remind you
OF meY'"
s'Dont fear that shall e'er forget
I've only need TO pay. my pet,
The bills you leave behind you."
Said he.
New York Journal.
GETTING EXPERIENCE.
visitor-"Where is your mamma?"
Little Girl-"She has gone out for
Ave minutes two hours ago. The
Club.
AN INDIGNATION MEETING.
First Barber -"What do you think
OF people who shave themselves?'
Second Barber --"They ought to be
compelled to cut their own hair. -
Puck.
RETURNING PROM THE HONEYMOON.
He (angrily)-"Why do people stare
at us sop
She e-"Probably wondering, as we
are, why we married each other. "
Truth.
NOT IN IT.
The Gas-"You and I don't stand
much of show when there are a pair
Of spoony lovers around, do we?'
The Lamp-"Nope; get turned
down every time. Buffalo Courier.
WHAT HE WAS.
Bobby--"Papa's the captain of our
ship and mamma's the pilot
His Teacher -"And what are you?"
Bobby-"l'm the compass, sup.
pose-they're always boxing me. -
Truth.
THE FITNESS or THINGS.
"Mamma is thinking of buying q
dog"
"Renllyl What kind?"
ooh, she's not particular as long us
it matches the carpet - Boston
Budget.
SURPRISE.
Cholly-"Do you aw-aw-know,
Miss Cuttnh, that I--aw-have thom.
times thought
Miss Cutter-"Really? Why how
nice And how did it happen?'--
New York World.
PROM HEADQUARTERS.
! Featherstone-'I hear you are go
ing to move IMr. RingwayT' '',
Move should like tc
know where you heard that.
"Your landlord told
me so. Puck.
AMBIGUOUS.
Chumleigh-"Oh, Miss Vayasour
you are the only girl ever loved"
Miss Vavasour-"How fortunate tin,
other girls with whom you are ac
quainted ought to consider them
selves. Kings Jester.
MORE ASTONISHING STILL.
Kennard ton a first glimpse of tn
sea- astonishing Who would hav
thought there could be as much waite
Us that?'
Underhill-"rrue, aud remember
you only see what's on top. Truth
HIS OBJECTION.
Jilson--"What do you thing of tn
proposition to put the United State
flag on postage stamps
Jenks-"Don't like 1t.
"Why not?'
"Old Glory has never been licked.
Washington Star.
, 700 LIBERAL.
els Cholly parsimonious at all?"
''Parsimonious? Why, he is liberi
to recklessness.
"How did you discover that?'
az heard him telling Chappie thu
he was going to give him II piece (
, his mind. New York Press.
The times., 1894-09-28
Vernon.

Frank Harrison and wife of Pontiac spent
Sunday at Mr.. Cambrie's--Miss Grace
Graham visited her mother at Bancroft the
first Of the Week.-Mrs. Franc Holmes has
returned to Detroit--Mrs. Saterlee is NOV
ing to Owosso--A reception was given
Rev. easier Tuesday evening at the M. Z.
church--Miss Aggie Hollister Of near
Lennon died Sunday and was buried Tues
day. She was very estimable young lady
and had suffered much with that dread
disease consumption Mrs. j. Wallace
and Miss Maggie Yerkes returned from Pc
toskey the last of the week--D. Holmes
and wife called on friends here Tuesday
Miss Maggie Taylor, of Inlay City, visited
at N. j. Strong's this week-George Goff
is quite sick--Mrs. j. Wallace was in
Morrice on Neutrality-suspicious. enter
tainment at the Congre gational parsonage
Friday evening--Will Hibbard has moved
from the Tilden house--Mr. and Mrs. G.
Case visited at Morrice the first of the week.
Mrs. ii, Martin visited her uncle al
Mundy Centre the last of the week.
The times., 1894-09-28
Morrice.


Mrs. Louise Blincoe, who has been spend
ing the summer with her relatives and
friends here, returned to Guthrie, Oklahoma,
Tuesday-Robert Austin and mother
visited in Fowlerville, Saturday and Sun
day-Rev. G. w. Carrick was in Gaines
Monday-A. l.. Beard and Geo. w. Lit
tie made a business trip to .Corunna, We'd
nesday-School was closed in the high
school department yesterday owing to sick
ness of Principal Brstol-Homer Murphy
is buying beans and shipping the same by
carload--HaIvey Simons, who has run
a barber shop in this place for four years
has now opened shop in Owosso-Mrs
II. @. Basney, nee Sybil Macomber, of Bay
City, has been visiting her parents during
the past week.-Mrs.. Josephine Wright
is visiting in New York Watkins
Bros. are investigating the apple crop pre-
paratory to buying this year as In past
years--Titus Martin entertained his
brother John, of Corunna, Saturday and
Sunday. Mr.. and Mrs. Case and Miss
Yerkes, of Vernon, and Mrs. Julia Wallace,
of Oklahoma City, were guests of Mrs.
Martin, Monday--Chas. Gale, of Owosso,
has been In town several times this week
The Owosso fair had its share of at
tendance of Morrice people this week
The first number of Perry's new paper the
Union Journal, is expected to appear this
week. w. M. Watkins is publisher
Robt. o. Austin returned to the University
today--Mrs. Jennie Peacock. of Corunna,
is visiting her parents Mr. and Mrs. Ralph
Lewis--Mrs. John Innis is recovering but
slowly from her severe sickness--The
Perry ball team are rejoicing in their victory
over the Owosso firemen's team 13 to at
the fair Wednesday. They will contest to-
day for first prize at the tournament--This
place has now but one practicing ply ysician
although in the past it has had from to 8.
AS soon as this is discovered grand rush
for locations here may be expected--The
in front of Roberts 81 Henry's
barber shop was the scene of a genuine
'scrap" Saturday evening, with George
Beard and Ed. Powers as principal actors.
Village Marshal Bennett and deputy sheriff
George Little proceeded 10 quiet the disturb
ing elements by taking Beard, who appeared
to be in the aggressive, into custody. Here
the event of most significance occurred: A
c. Fisher objected to seeing the offender
locked up and interferred with the officers
to the extent of striking Deputy Sheriff
Little. Monday Little had Fisher arrested
in Owosso where he was arranged before
Justice Byerly and bound over to the circuit
court. In lieu of bail he deposited 500 as
security for appearance.
The times., 1894-09-28
Shiawassee.

Mrs. Sabin an old pioneer of our town
fell and broke her arm one day last week.
Eugene Wallace and Miss Dorance, of Ver-
non, were married Saturday--Rev. Ma
nard, of Battle Creek, is visiting his uncle,
Mr.. Barden--Mr. Latrez and wife of
Henderson are visiting Mr.. George Call
The infant child of Dexter Morris died
Tuesday with cholera infantum--Mrs.
Gilbert Patton is quite sick--Miss Eliza
Dnscoll and Mr.. Geo. Carruthers were mar
rled, Wednesay, so it is reported--Mrs.
Geo. Call is quite sick. DR.. Scott is attend
ing her--Our Shiatown dude has been
promoted to the corn field this week, but
was laid Off Wednesday afternoon on ac-
count of dry weather--Chas. Lndley was
at Chesaning Wednesday. Quite number
of our town people are taking in the fair
this week--Uncle Daniel Lindey is on the
sick list this week---Mr. and Mrs. Strauch
and daughter are visiting friends In Detroit
this week--Mr. Daniel Cosselman, of
Laingsburg, was visiting his sister the fore
part Of the week.
The times., 1894-09-28
shaftsburg.

/ Mrs. X. Hart and mother, Mrs. Muttow
visited friends in Mason the fore part of the
week.-Mrs.. Andrew Harper is visiting
friends In Van Buren County this week.
Prof. Dane and family have moved into
Mrs. McCully's tenant house. He will COM
mence his labors as teacher in the high
room' Oct. 1st-Henry Hawkins made a
business trip to Mason last Saturday
The Misses Baldwin, visited friends In De-
trolt last week.-Mrs.. ID. Warifel went to
Lansing last Saturday to attend Advent
camp meeting and was taken suddenly Ill.
We are unable to repeIt her condition at
this writing-Preaching next Sunday in
the church at this place at half past two,
Sunday school a. 80, prayer meeting in The
evening-Mr. Chas. Bortell has been en-
tertaining his mother from Genoa for few
days-Mr. Cross is on the gain this week
1t is hoped by his many friends that his re-
covery may be rapid. p. Shaft, OF this
place has leased the Commercial house at
Williamson and is now landlord of same.
We wish him success in his new undertake
ing--The Bath boys came over last Sat
urday to play the Shaftsburg's I'd nine a
game OF base ball. They went home van
pushed. Our I'd nine is good team.
The times., 1894-09-28
"Prof." Spring In Trouble.

Prof. w. j. Spring came to Owosso sew
eral weeks ago and in connection with G. A.
Sharp started an ''actual Business College"
circulars were printed and Mr.. Sharp started
out to advertise the business college and his
telegraph school. While he was away it is
claimed Spring sold out his college" to Mr..
Cadman, of the Owosso Business College,
secured money from several persons as
tuition and was starting to leave the city
when arrested by nightwatchman Cady and
taken to the lookup. On examination he
plead not guilty and was sent to jail for lack
of bail.