davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Got Rid of the Thorn,

Mr.. Waddy, G. c., who is a popu-
lar Methodist preacher as well as a
prosperous advocate, on ascending
the platform in chapel in some Cir
cult town espied in front seat the
facetious and scornful countenance
of MIR. Frank Lockwood, the humor-
list of the British bar. Instead of
yielding to timorous impulse, the
valiant Waddy seized the situation
by the horns, SO to speak. He gave
out hymn in the usual manner and
added that it gave him great pleas
ure to welcome that day to the serv-
ice his friend and professional broth
er, Mr.. Lockwood, on whom, after
the hymn had been sung, he would
call to lead the meeting in prayer.
Panic stricken at the prospect, Mr..
Lockwood seized his hat aud with
drew precipitately.-S Francisco
Argonaut.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Hicks-They tell me that Munni-
make is a smart financier.
Wicks-Smart2 No name for it.
He's the brightest intellect l ever
knew He's phenomenon. Why,
the other day fellow came into
Munnimakes office when Munni-
make was all alone and demanded,
at the point of revolver, 500, 900.
Hicks-Yesa
Wicks-He saw it was no use to
refuse, so he drew his check for the
full amount.
Hicks-Nothing very smart about
that.
Wicks-But listen. After handing
the fellow the check, Munaimake be-
gan to talk confidentially with the
chap and actually induced him to in
vest the whole sum and $4,000 be-
sides in A. @. and w. bonds that
amt worth the paper they're printed
on. That's what | call intellect
Boston Transcript.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Onions are q kind of all round good
medicine, and every housewife knows
this without knowing why. She
knows that solid red onion eaten at
bedtime will by the next morning
break the severest cold. She also
knows that onions make a good plas-
ter to remove Inflammation and
hoarseness. But she does not know
why If any one would take an onion
and mash it, so as the secure all the
juice in it, he would have a most
remarkable smelling substance that
would quiet the most nervous person.
The strength of it inhaled for a few
moments will dull the sense of smell
and weaken the nerves until sleep is
produced from sheer exhaustion. It
all comes from one property possessed
by the onion, and that is a form of
opium. Yankee Blade.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Inconsistency.

Customer thought you pretend
cd to be e. temperance man or a pro-
hibitionist or something of that sort.
Clothier-I am, sir.
Customer-Why don't you sell pro-
hibitionist goods then2
Clothier-How do you mean2
Customer got a 81 umbrella here
last week, and it came home soaked
the first time ! took it out. That's
one thing. Three days ago / bought
pair of So trousers. | noticed that
they were a little full when l got
them. Last night after the shower
they got tighter'n any pants l ever
had on, and today they're off again.
Then there's that thin coat l bought
here; had regular tear Wednesday
and hasn't been fit for business since.
You're in fine company here if you're
q temperance man. Lemme see a
standup collar, if you've got one that
can stand up. Farm and Field.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
BULLoozING LAWYERS.
The owbeating of Witnesses Should Nc
Longer BE Permitted.

The Browbeating of Witnesses Should No
Longer he Permitted.
Just by what process the custom
of berating and browbeating witness
es came to be established among
LAWYERS is not known. Presumably
it comes from hehope that by work
ing upon the indignation of the wit
ness he can be made to lose his head,
contradict himself and SO lose the
value of his testimony. The lawyer
who first conceived this plan of cross
examination was a great man and a
grand originator.
He doubtless won many cases by
its use. He deserves much credit for
his sharpness. But the thousands Of
cheap imitators he has bred up in
our courts are enough to blot his
memory forever Every crack voiced
Hedging of the law school that has
his first chance at cross examination
ably takes pattern from the power
full lawyers" he has seen in the same
british game and squeaks his abuse
at his betters in the witness chair.
His chief desire seems to be to make
as thorough paced an idiot of himself
as possible. Judges chuckle at him,
old lawyers smile at him, witnesses
call him impertinent when they leave
the stand, and every one who hears
and sees him very properly despises
him.
Yet he grows up in the business
and expands, and his abusive propen-
sity increases with his fees. But bull
lying does not always win. There
are finer methods of discomposing a
witness than that. Dickens told of
an old lawyer who never failed to
discompose his victim by much
simpler and infinitely less offensive
method. The old lawyer took snuff.
Just as he was about to ask vital
question he would take pinch very
slowly and tremendously. Then he
would draw out an immense red
handkerchief and spread it upon his
hand.
He would then put the question,
screw up his eyes as if the snuff irri
tated him and deliberately wait in an
expectant attitude before blowing his
nose until the witness could answer.
These tactics, SO the author said,
never failed to distract the victim,
and his answer would invariably be
hating, compromising and of inesti-
mable value in ''impressing the
jury" The bulldozing lawyer will
probably continue to bulldoze until
the courts discourage the custom
generally and thus fill a long felt
want.-Chicago Post.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
The Great Cause of Bad Politics.

There is probably nothing from
which the public service of the coun-
try suffers more than the silence of
it's educated class-that is, the small
amount of criticism which comes
from disinterested and competent
sources. 1t is very rare thing for
an educated man to say anything
publicly about the questions of the
day. He is absorbed in science or
art or literature, in the practice of
his profession or in the conduct of
his business, and if he has any inter
est at all in the questions of the day
it is a languid one. He is silent be-
cause he has not much care, or be-
cause he does not wish to embarrass
the administration or "hurt the par
ty," or because he does not feel that
anything he could say would make
much difference.-E. L. Godkin in
Forum.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Webster's Comment,

The junior counsel in case where
Daniel Webster was the senior in
formed the great advocate that the
opposing parties were bent on secur
ing a continuance, while the inter
ests of his client demanded imme
date decision. Among other annoy
ances mentioned was the fact that
the other side had occupied six days
cross examining one witness. When
Mr.. Webster appeared the next day,
he soon had occasion to remark
'They ask for a continuance of this
case. Why, may it please the court,
they have already occupied as much
time in the cross examination of one
witness as it took the Almighty tc
create the universe. Minneapolis
Housekeeper.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Singing to Those Who are Iii,

A pastor has discovered new
power in visiting the sick. He has
always read the Bible to them and
prayed, but now, in addition. he sings
some of the old familiar hymns. He
finds that they carry message of
comfort to the heart more easily than
anything else. Often when the brain
is too weak to follow passage of
Scripture, or to listen to conversation,
an old hymn softly sung brings smiles
to the face and opens the way for a
short prayer. Boston Congregation
alist
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Suspieiously Bostonese.

II desire to insert this small adver-
tisement in your paper tomorrow
morning." she said.
This" said the advertising clerk,
looking it over, Twill go among the
wants."
"Have you no wish column9"
mo, num-"
"Then, sir" said the young lady
haughtily, you need not insert it. I
simply wish situation as governess
that is all. 1t is not a case of want.
Is there any newspaper printed in
English in this place2-London Tit
Bits.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
CUNNING OF CROcODlLES.
Borrowing Deep In the Mud In Order t.
Escape Dragnet.


Escape a Dragnet.
The following is a fair sample of
how cunningly crocodlles, in COM
mon with all other wild animals, can
conceal themselves in moments of
danger. After happy week spent
in the jungle with friend of mine
we halted for breakfast before max
ing the last stage for headquarters
and home at place called Poonar-
hyn-Anglice, garden of flowers
and while at breakfast were amused
by watching a number of crocodiles,
about eight or ten, summing them
selves on the surface of small lake,
or tank, as it is there called, of about
All acre in extent. Asudden thought
struck me.
Il say, Murray. what fun it would
be to try to catch some of these
beggars in a net!'' "Bravo!' said he.
Lets try it presently. Appu, send the
horsekeeper to the village and tell
him to bring up all the men he can
find and some fishing nets. We will
give good santosum" present.
The villagers scented some fun,
and with the further stimulus of a
santosum very soon turned up to the
number of 80. 1t was now IL o'clock
and scorching hot, the air quivering
over the bare, sandy plain in which
the pond was situated 1t was breast
deep, as we knew, including about
foot or Is inches of mud. We tied
two nets together so as to make one
long enough to reach across the
tank, about 80 yards, and this was
heavily weighted along the bottom
and arranged to be drawn with long
ropes from each shore.
Immediately behind the net camea
line and men about yard apart,
with long, pointed poles with which
to prod the mud along the bottom of
the net and so drive the malingering
gentlemen into proper position in
front of the net. My friend and his
servant for all entered into the
SPORT followed close up to the second
line. At tit we all now went, splashing,
shouting, stamping and hauling, but
"a big but-not sign did we find of
a single one of the brutes that we
had seen before us when we came
to the edge of the water. We
dragged that water backward and
forward more than once, but our
only reward was deadly thirst that
lasted us till late that night. They
had burrowed deeper into the mud
than we could reach them, for moth
ing-I doubt if even a rat-could
have escaped unseen out of the wa
er.-Westminster Gazette.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
George Washington's Birthday.

ltwas George Washington's birth
day. The bells were ringing and the
cannon We're booming in common.
GRAFTON of the Father of His Coun-
try. Little Ethel, aged 5, wise and
thoughtful beyond her years, was
gazing out of the window apparently
in deep thought. Suddenly she
awoke from her reverie, and turning
around to her father said, Papa,
what are they going to give George
Washington for his birthday2"-Bos.
ton Herald.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Youthful Precocity.

Mr.. Ruskin is an instance of pre-
cocity as remarkable as Thirlwall,
though he did not begin to publish
so early. He began to write books
at 6 years of age His first dated
poem was written month before he
reached the age of 7. A poem he
wrote when 7 years old reminds Mr..
Collingwood (see Life" 1898, vol.
ume 1, page 26) of "Blake's best
touches" His first appearance in
print was in The Magazine of Arch,
lecture in 1884, when he was Is.
Macaulay, too, was an infant prod.
ICY. He wrote a compendium OF
Universal History" and three can.
tos of a poem in imitation of Scott
when he was only years old. Mrs.
Browning elizabeth BarretD read
Homer in the original at 10 years of
age, and her poem, THE Battle of
Marathon" was printed while she
was still a child. 1t is said to have
been written when she was II or r.
sufficiently early age at which tc
produce an epic in four books
Notes and Queries.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Wild Hogs with Long Tusks,

w. j. Anderson, a rancher, near
Novelty, Wash, on the Snoqualmie
river, says the woods around his
ranch ere full of large wild hogs.
They go through fences into potato
patches, gardens, hopyards and where
they please. Their tusks are six
inches long and as sharp as razor.
There are 500 of them in a little neck
of woods. They are the descendants
of a band Of forty pigs which ran
away from James Duval few years
ago. Philadelphia Ledger.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
A MoHAMMEDAN's NOTIONS.


The object of our expedition was
archaeological research There were
two members of the party not pres
ent by reason of any scientific zeal.
One was the physician of the party,
the other myself.
When Susa was reached, the main
party turned back, but the doctor and
myself concluded to continue alone.
We were so well pleased with the
novelty of our prospective trip that
we decided to take photographs of
such mounds, ruins and inscriptions
as came under our observation and
present them to scientific society
on our return home.
We were joined by Sheik Moham-
med Taher, willy chief, with a plac-
id content in his own vast superior
ity over other mortals that was very
amusing. Occasionally he would
''thaw out" and impart some of his
superior wisdom to us. One evening
we were on the terrace of the house.
Looking at the full moon as it rose
over the distant mountains, he said
pityingly:
II suppose you don't know why
the moon is not always as brilliant
or as large as it is tonight2"
The doctor murmured something
about having some vague notion on
the subject, but that he would be
glad to be put on the right track.
In the beginning" began he ma
jestically, "the sun and moon were
equally bright. God created the
world and then had the angel Gabriel
flap his wings against the earth and
put its light out, and now the angel
holds his wing before the face of the
moon aud sometimes hides it en-
tirely."
That's interesting" remarked
encouragingly. Tell us some more. I"
Sheik Mohammed was flattered and
asked if we knew the cause of the
darkness of the night. We expressed
our desire to learn the truth, what
ever our previous opinions had been.
In the evening"" said Mohammed,
1.-The angels bring the darkness from
the seven depths and carry the sun
to the seventh heaven to rest. In
the morning the sun is awakened by
the angels and brought down to
shine upon the earth again"
After remaining some time with
this interesting specimen, we contin-
ued our journey inland, and on our
arrival at Kaleh-y-Gorg we fell in
with typical Persian of the better
class, Darab Khan by name, who was
travelling with his secretary, Mira
Ali Akbar. They both took a friend
ly interest in us and piled us with
questions as to our domestic and So
cial life.
What do you have to pay for a
wife in your country2" asked Darab
Khan innocently.
Nothing" l replied. Indeed in
some cases the bride is given dover
by her parents"
That's interesting" commented
the Persian. II suppose you marry
a large number of wives, as you get
them SO cheap"
No" l responded. 1T is the Gus
tom in Christian countries to marry
only one wife"
Only one!" replied Darab in pity
ing accents. 'How foolish r'-Al
fred Singerly in Home and Country
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Every Mother Knows II.

Mr.. Dinwiddie-I see that Mrs.
Gladstone has written an article on
children, in which she says they need
change.
Mrs. Dinwiddie-Don't know that9
Don't they come to me two or three
times day and ask for nickel or a
dimea.- .Plttsburg Chronicle.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Like Unto Like.

A gentleman of the old school en-
ployed a very polite and brisk French
man as servant One morning Jean
Baptiste came to wait on him. The
gentleman, who had not yet risen,
said:
"Oh, Jean Baptiste, | can't get up.
I'm as sick as horse this morning"
"Ah! monsieur" exclaimed the
Frenchman, springing toward the
door, II will bring re veterinaire at
onceP-Youth's Companion.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Natures Electricity,

IF wecould only capture and store
the electricity that nature uses to
make first class aurora borealis, +"
said Thomas Edison, 1.-The concerns
that make dynamos would have to
go out of the business. Or if we
could chain the lightning in an ordi-
nary thunderstorm we could easily
make dynamos very cheap. The
electricity it takes to make one little
storm would more than supply the
electric needs of New York city for
q week.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

An Irish paper tells good story of
a visit Justin Mccarthy paid to sec
ondhand book store in Cork. After
offering him several works of fiction
the bookseller finally produced a copy
of one of Mr.. McCarthy's own books,
but still the customer was not salts
fed. At last the bookseller in des-
peration exclaimed, well, sir, if !
was man SO hard to please as you,
I'd take to writing books myself"
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Beginning Afresll.

Mr. Vexall (angrily)-I hate wom-
an who always contradicts every
thing man says. If I don't, I'm an
idiot.
Mrs. Vexall (sweetly)-Well, dear,
LII turn over new leaf and COM
mence right now by not contradict
ing you. New York Herald.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

The light of schoolrooms should al
ways be arranged to fall over the
left hand side of the scholar, and the
window accommodation should be
one-fifth of the floor space. The linn
itation of this requirement is said to
be the cause of short sight among
the Germans.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Polite Under Trying Circumstances

Burglar-Now, fork out Gimme
yer watch Now yer pocketbonk.
Yer silver matchbox. Now yer small
change.
Polite Victim IAN ex-drapeD-Any-
thing else today, sir9 Shall / send
these2-London Punch.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
Use Your SCOT,

The latest disinfectant is common
SCOT. 1t is said to be great germ
killer, to absorb foul gases and to be
preventive of cholera. It is supe.
rior to charcoal, and it contains some
of the unoxidized hydrocarbons form
ed in the smoke from burning coal,
among them creosote, which is the
great germ destroyer. - London
News.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
An Old Method Of Heating Hou...

There is an old town in Germany
where there is hot water spring
from which pipes are laid in every
street and are connected to every
house for heating it, and nobody
knows when this use Of the hot water
first began.-Toronto Empire.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

There have been, it is asserted, says
The Collector, more remains of mas
todons and other extinct mammoths
found in the Ichetucknee river, Flor
ida, than in any other stream in tho
world.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Man invented the razor, and he GER
tainly has one point in common with
that article of cutlery. He has to be
completely strapped once in awhile
to show how sharp he can be.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Cucumber punch" is a German
drink made of Marachino, Curocao,
sliced cucumbers, raw tomatoes and
red wine. Some ignorant people have
mistaken 1t for vegetable soup.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

In 1856 public bakeries were estab-
lished in Paris, and inspectors were
appointed to see that the loaves were
of proper weight, and that no lime or
clay was mixed with the bread.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
His Shoes,

Wright-Those are pretty tough
looking patent leather shoes you have
on.
Garner--They were all right orig
inally, but the patent has expired on
them. Exchange.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01
A Real Hero.

Weary Watkins-Say, dey amt no
real heroes nowadays.
Hungry Higgins-Dey amt, ehl
Why, right here in de paper is a fell
Ter advertiser dat he amt afraid Of
work. -Indianapolis Journal.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

True modesty and true pride are
much the same thing. Both consist
IN setting a just value ON ourselves
neither more nor less.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Leather trunks for transporting
clothes were made and sold in Rome
MS early as the time of julius Caesar,
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Life Insurance Agent Ito a man
who has angered him)-Fellow, the
only thing that saves you is the fact
that l insured your life last week.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-11-01

Charles II protected the English
WOODEN trade by compelling the use
Of flannel shrouds.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1894-12-27
MAINE TOWNS.
Items of Interest Gathered by CorreA-
pondents of the Isress.
Sebago.

Sebago.
Sebago, Dec.25. Noah Fos's and wife OF
Cornish. were at Mr.. and Mrs. j. X.
| Haley's today to spend Chrii stmas.
Ossie Brown, of Berwick, is visiting
his grandfather, Coleman Brown, and
other relatives in this place.
Mrs. Daniel Beady, who has been stop
ping with her father, j. L. Usher, re-
turned home to Milton, NJ H., Saturday.
Howard E. Poor, is expectin g to gath
err cream in this part of the town and
West Sebago.
Mrs. Sophia, wife of James Robinson
of North Sebago, died recently. Funeral
services occurred last Thursday.
Miss Mabel E. Jewell leaves Boston
this week to spend New Years at her
home. Her sister, Carrie P. Jew ell, and
May F. Mansfield are expected nome
from Portland on visit soon.
A petition has been signed pv apou5
five-sixths of the voters in the v Iclnlty
of Convene during the past week IL re-
gard to the proposed amendment al salnst
the use of any public funds for sect arlan
or religious purposes Other parts II the
town are expected to do as well fol the
proposed amendment
Ihere is muCn OlSSaIlSIdCtiou au uohS
many with the town system of mana ging
schools this year, and it is expected 6hat
the party electing all three OF the ON
mittee last year will lie confronted oy
the dissatisfied elements of their I, wn
(the Democratic partly uniting with the
Republicans at the coming election to
help them elect board of three or I've
in addition to Mr.. Poor and Mr.. Mckt 'n-
ney, the two hold-over memb ers, rh US
changing the political complexion OF t he
school committee.
The apparent cause for the dissatisfa C.
tion with management of schools seen IS
to be the committees failure to al T.
tribute patronage among their party !,
they having gone out of their party line $
as well as out OF their town after som, 9
of their teachers. The Democratic lead :
ers seem to be dissatis with them. :.
selves so far as they have control OF
town affairs, and the prospects now are
that the Repu blicans will soon have
about as complete control of town affairs,
as the Democrats have had Tor about
two years. This town cannot long en-
dure to, be under control of either polltl-
cal party, but will make haste to turn
the rascals out"