davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
Preparing Cork.

The methods in vogue in barking
and harvesting the cork in Spain and
Portugal are pretty much the same.
The barking operation is effected
when the tree has acquired sufficient
strength to withltand the rough hand.
ling il receives during this operation.
which takes place when it, ~
the fifteenth year of its growth. After
the first stripping, the tree is left in
this juvenescent state to regenerate,
subsequent strippings being effected
at intervals of not less than three
years; and under this process the
tree will continue to thrive AMI bear
for upward of $50 years. If the bark
is not removed artiically, it will on
maturity split and dismantle itself /;
this is caused by the fresh growth OF
bark forming underneath.
The cork of the first barking is
termed corcho bornio-bornizo, or
virgin cork the cork of the second
stripping is called pelas, or secondary
cork. The work of removing the
bark from the tree is performed in
summer by men, VINO are paid at the
rate of siXty.two cents n day. The
instruments used for the work are an
axe, lever, and hand saw for the
cutting of transversal incisions. The
first process through which the bark
passes after stripping is that of boil
ing. This is sometimes done in the
woods, but more frequently in the
cork factory, in large, specially-con-
structed caldrons, in which the bark
is left to boil for upward of an hour.
This seething process increases the
thickness and elasticity of the cork |;
and at the same time the tannin and
other feculent substances generally
existing in the bark are desiccated. -
Chambers journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
EOOSe E-gS.

II "like cures like, and the reverse
is also true, then most people are
goose eggs, for there isn't one man in
ten who can eat goose egg without
becoming violently ill. The taste is
n very decided one, and there is moth
ing you can compare it TO. On tast-
ing it one has IN immediate suspicion
that the bird which laid it was no
chicken. Not that the meat is really
suggestive of decades dead, but the
flavor is not exactly redolent of fresh
ness. But what's the use of trying to
describe what is indescribable? Buy
a goose of the right sort and try the
experiment. New York Mail and Ex.
press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
The Torch Fish.

The recently published account OF
the torch fish has reused the interest
of the Electrical Review. In response
to inquiries from the editors, Profes-
sor q. Brown Gooie, of the Smith
sonIan, as reported in the Review,
wrote as follows: The subject OF
phosphorescence in deep sea fishes is
one which is but little understood,
although many conjectures have been
made in regard to it, II you will
consult Vol. XXI. of the REPORT OF
Her Maiesty's Steamship Challenger"
which you will doubtless find in any
OF the large New York libraries, you
will find very exhaustive article by
Doctor Van Lendenfeid upon this
subject. 1t is not positively known
that the organ on the nasal tilament
OF Linophryne is luminous, although
it appears probable. The idea that the
fish has the power OF illuminating it
at pleasure, is, 80 far ~ | know,
purely coajectural, the idea having
been suggested by DIR. Gunther, of
the British Museum. think no one
has seriously supposed that the phos-
phorescence is due to an electrical
shocj.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
CURIOUS FACTS.
Cotton grows wild in India.

Cotton grows wild in India.
Grotou, Conn, boasts Of an eel fifty
years old.
A shower Of ivy berries fell in Eng
land in 1896.
Bermuda farms bear three success
sive crops in one year.
The longest clock pendulum ever
made is that of Eiffel Tower--377 feet.
The spinning wheel was invented
and brought into general use in 1880.
There are over sixty languages and
dialects spoken by subjects of the Car
Of Russia.
The Russian peasant never touches
food or drink without making the
sign of the cross.
The Spartan broth was so bad that
an epicure said he did not wonder
they were careless oflife.
In Normandy not fewer than 5000
differently named varieties of the acid
or bitter apple are known.
The Mohawk Indians will not allow
so much as blade of grass to grow
upon the graves of their companions.
"Golf'' is properly pronounced
"gowIf," according 20 the editorial
authority of the London Daily News.
The fastest shorthand writer in the
world is young Dublin gentleman,
George Bunbary. He can write $50
words in minute.
Wire hairpins we're first used in
1545 and were invented in England
Before that time the hair was held in
place by little wooden skewers.
The first known European library
originated in the present to the family
of Regulus by the Roman Senate OF
all the books seized at the capture OF
Carthage.
The watch carried by the average
man is composed of ninety.eight
pieces and its manufacture embraces
more than 1000 distinct and separate
operations.
The tariff on the first telegraph line
in the United States was one cent on
every four characters. The receipts
for the first days business of the line
were less than 81.
There is wild flower in Turkey
that is the exact floral image OF II
humming bird. The breast is green,
the wings are deep rose color, thc
throat yellow, the head and beak al
most black.
The British Museum has books
written on bricks, tiles, oyster shells
bones and Hat stones, together witt
manuscripts on bark, on leaves, OF
ivory, leather, parchment papyrus
iron, copper and wood.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
Tnr PRESENT SCIENTIFIC OPINION.

From an article in tho Popular Science
Monthly we take the following statement Of
the opinion Of scientific men and societies on
the good ami evil Of drinking
THE French National Temperance Society.
the Society Against the Abuses Of Alcohol for
the Rhine Provinces tho Belgian Total Al
slinence Society, tho Nethcrlanl Society. tho
Swiss Society. tho italian Society tho Aus
trIan AMI Russian Society. the Norwegian,
Russian, Danish, and numerous othrr socie-
ties. mr." urging total abstinence theories AMI
denying the value OF spirits in the very ccntr ~
ofall spirit drinking countries. Four interim
tional congresses have been held in these
countries during the past ten years. in which
eminent meiirai men have presented and de-
fonied the total abstinence side Of the drink
problem.
Tho real facts, separate from all partisan
sensntOnalism, agree that a,chohoi Is poi-
son. a parnly2ant, amt mar 'otir, and It's de-
Tenders admit this ~ true bat only IN largo
and reckless quantities.. The question then
turns ON what quantities ar" SItr or dan.rr-
Gus, and what ~ the possul" amount that
can bs taken within health limits. This is
similar to drawing boundary .!u", hrtwrru
twilight AMI darkness, AMI Is OBVIOUSLY IN
possible with the pres mt limits %, our SnOW..
edge"
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
Almost a Perfect Climate.

The climate OF the Sierra, although
not SO very pleasant on account OF
the winds, is extremely salubrious,
the heat never becoming enervating,
as it does not exceed ninety degrees,
while the nights are deliciously cool.
Lung diseases are unknown, and the
sanitary condition OF the Sierra may
perhaps be inferred from the reply OF
an old American doctor, who lives in
the now almost abandoned mining
place, Guadalupe-y- -Calvo. When |
asked him to give his experience as to
the health OF the people he said ;
"Well, here in the mountains, it is
distressingly healthy. Despite com.
plete defiance of every hygienic ar
rangement; with the graveyard, II
tannery and the sewers at the rivers
edge, no diseases originate here. -
Scribner.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
TEMPERANCE aEws AxD NOTES.

A drop of gin is n drop too much.
A drunkard's throat has no bottom 70 II.
Beware OF sun-strokes aud beer-strokes.
A dull morning follows u drunken night.
drunkard's mouth dries up his pocket
There ara In Liverpool 1908 public houses,
22I beer houses aud l0j licensed grorsrs.
Two saloons in one block. on the sIno
side OF the street, are not pernIttel In san
Bernardo, Cal.
The entire arrests for drunkenness last
year in Scotland amounted 10 5O,j9l, aud IN
Ireland TO 9j,l97.
The American Mslicpl Temperance As
sociation hns cnosen rs President DR.. y. O..
Davis, OF Cnicago.
The Swedish Parliament IL said 10 have q
lai SO majority OF members favorable 10
temperance legislation.
The Arkansas State Bolrl OF Health now
has power TO revoke the license ot any
habituaiiy drunken physician.
or the $4,000 saloon keepers OF Nsg York
City, whose GOOD moral character en.
titled them TO license, 500 nave served
terms I'M prison.
Miss Frances Willari announces that ow'
Ing TO tho financial stress In the Unltet
States she returns to the National Woman's
Christian Temperance Union her last two
years salary which sho received as President
oithat Organization. ----- -----
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
Expensive but Inferior.

Nearly million dollars is said to
have been expended In statuary in
the public parks and squares Of New
York. With very few exceptions,
however, these works have been con-
demned by persons OF judgment as
remarkably poor examples OF the
sculptor's art. There is a bill now
before the New York Legislature TO
appropriate s25, 900 for a statue Of
Baron Steuben, OF Prussia, who rem
dered such distinguished service in
the revolutionary war.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
nrYtSn A GLAss OF SODA.

BUYING A GLASS OF SODA
"Ah," said the young man to him
self, as he caught sight Ola sign which
read, soda Water, all havors, b
cents" 81 will even buy me some.
He sat down in front of the soda
water dispenser, and that functionary
asked:
"What flavor, please"
"All havors."
The clerk was surprised at the an
swer at first, and then, supposinS that
the customer was asking a question,
but had neglected TO add the verbal
interr ogation point, replied - -
eyes, sir, we have all havors.
"That's what want"
"Well, which one?"
GAIL"
"All?"
"That's what I said. Your sign
there informs customers that they can
have all ilavors OF soda water for five
cents, and want to go clear through
the list"
a glass of each kind will cost you
an even dollar, for there are twenty
havors."
"rhat isn't what your sign says. IL
says all havors for five cents, and de-
mand the fulhlment of its promise.
1t is in the nature OF n contract. You
| agree to give me all fiavors of soda
water for five cents. Here is Il nickel.
1t seems cheap To get twenty glasses
| of soda water for one.twentieth of a
cent,a glass, but it is you who fixed
the price, not l. You may rs well be-
gin to draw that soda, for | demand
the fulhllment OF that promise on the
sign"
"You want soda water with every
flavor We have, and for five cents, do
you?'
II do"
Gan right"
There was wicked leer in the drug
clerks eye as he took up glass and
went from end to end of the soda
fountain, taking from eacn tap n few
drops of the flavor it contained. The
sizzing soda was then introduced into
the mixture, and the concoction was
set before the customer.
He tasted il, but seemed not TO like
it. Then he put his five-cent-piece on
| the counter and walked hurriedly out.
The clerk wore triumphant smile,
but next day the sign was altered to
read:
"!5oda water, any flavor, 8 cents. "
Philadelphia Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
Mrs. Thomas Edison.

Mrs, Thomas Edison has ha some
peculiar experience as the wife ", a
genius Mr. tdison'S labOratorj is in
the groun Of Mcnlo Park, at some
distance from the family residen c.
lie likes to have his wife there in the
evening, an aS he ten works until
= or , o lo'k in the morning, Mrs
Ellison has sIent the greater art OF
man? night sleeping on a OF in the
laboratory while he wOrkeJ.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
r.roroR AND nINrOH.

In ono .; the towns OF Illinois n banter
put his private mark on the money ho paid
out on SATURDAY night 10 the wayp- workers
OF the town VINO pitronzai his hank AMI
on Moniay might OF tn" 800 paid out. AMI
marked privately. over $500 had come bnrk
To him from the saloons OF that town There
Is nothing that cramps. belittlcs ant dwarts
the possibilities OF the labor movement IN
America like tho saloons AMI some guilds
OF workingmen show that thoy know it DY
boycotttng the saloons and all liquor dealers,
not allowing them to bG seated with rtputa-
BILE men, whose work brings back goo / re-
turn. n.-frdncrs L. Willard
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26

rur mason WHY.

THE nfAsoN WHY.
81 wonder, wonder why people will drink"
Says i to mysrlf, says i,
"And on this point alone ali variance sink"
Says 10 myself. says I.
Excuses In plenty hear OF each side,
BY doctors, and fashion, and fancles sup.
piled;
But IN vain for reason LOOK TAR anl wide"
Says to myself. says !.
"some swallow their liquor because II is
warm"
Says I TO myself, says I.
"And when Il is cold 10 tho bar-rooms they
swarm"
Says TO myself. says |.
But Mt last l was told by man that knew
81 drink COS l likes H. and that's why do :
Here's drinker at last that is honest and
true"
Says to myself. says I.
Youths Temperance Banner
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
A PERvERsE DOLL.

Little Dot wish my doll didn't
have such red cheeks and such a
round face"
Mamma is very pretty"
Little Dot-"Yes, but when play
she is awful sick an mos dyin', she
always looks SO fat an healthy l can't
feel worried over her bit. Good
News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
is yerY nrettY."
HOW Hr GAME OUT.

$50 you went on al excursion to the
races, did you?"
eyes"
"Bet anything?'
'0f course.
'Come out ahead?"
"So; 1 came out a.foot," and
glance at the dust-coverod garments
gave proof of the assertion. Atlanta
Constitution.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
COULDN'T ESCAPE.

"Didn't that song fairly carry you
avay?" said Mrs. Cumso to her hus.
band, as the soloist resumed her seat.
"Indeed it didn't, was Mr.. Cumso's 5
reply. "If it had / would not have
come back again. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
Mushroom AEcHEoLoaY.

cold Scroggins's new place up in
the Adirondacks has hundred acre
lawn around the house.
But L heard him say he was dis
satisfied with it. ,"
"Yes the plumbing in the old Nor
mon ruin on the grounds is not ~ to
contract. Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
ECCENTRIC.

"My father, by the way" said
Spooksby, sis one of the most eccen-
trio OF men. Do you known that that
man actually has net cut his hair for
ten years. "
"You don't say SO, said his victim
"What's the trouble?"
"Oh, replied Spooksby reaectiyely,
shes been bald.headed ever since
l8Si"--Philaielphia Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26

MAGAZINE PUBLISHER -"Are you
familiar with literature? For in.
stance, how would you discriminate
between poetry and verse;" Appli-
cant-"If it's in the front part OF
magazine, it poetry; II it's in the
back part, it's verse"
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
WOULD TRY IT LATER,

yisitor-"Well, Tommy, do you
think you will ever be President of the
United States?'
Tomn.y-"Oh, l dunno. Mebbe I'll
try for it after l get too Old to be u
pitcher. indianapolis Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
PATRIOTISM.

Johnny, said the young man,
"what is you, idea OF patriotism? ?"
Patriotism, replied the boy, after
some thought, lis what makes ye hol-
Ter for the Washington nine when it's
in eleventh place. Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
A CASE OF DISGUST.

"Been out to your grandmother's
funeral again, ell ?" asked the boss
"Naw," said the Office boy, who had
seen the home team lose. 81 seen lot
OF ole women git killed of, dough. "
indianapolis Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
THE CHARACTERIZATION.

Mr.. Wudby-"You and i get along
famously, Dolly. I'm not very hare 20
please, am I?'
Little Dolly (who has an attractive
sister of twenty)-"No; heard sister
say you were very soft"
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
A PERFECT GEM.

Mr. Gotham Ills that suburban
cottage that you are advertising really
desirable?"
Agent-"Desirable? Why, sir. it's
painted in sixteen colors. New York
Weekly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
AFTER HER OWN HEART.

Cobwigger-'1 hear Winthrop is
building II house for his bride, and
allows her to superiutend things"
Merritt-"He did until he saw she
was making it nothing but closets. -
Truth.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
A FINE IDEA.

'Hoornyl cried the summer-hotel-
keeper. 'I have it'll"
"You have what?" inquired his
wife.
can idea-a bonanza, was the an.
swer. Something that will make the
hotel the most popular one in all the
land. I've been looking up novelty,
you know, so as to advertise it, and at
tract people when | open in June.
eyes"
"Well, how's this?" And he held
up an advertisement describing the
beauties and advantages of his hostel
ry, while below, in prominent letters,
was added,
Engagement rings will be loaned
TO guests for the season.
"Thcrel" cried the happy man.
"That will bring the men l'-Harper' s
Magazine.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
TEE CHEERFUL IDIOT.

"where have you been?" asked the
cheerful idiot.
"Been holding an inquest" replied
the coroner.
"On the de id?"-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
COAL IN BAGS.

C'eaniy eni Convenient Way OF DriIv-
ering Fuel
A New York coal firm has adopted
the European idea OF delivering coal
TO its customers in bags. In the Eu-
ropean countries the custom OF de-
livering coal in bags Is universal.
These are filled at the yard--,o many
to the ton-and these are carried on
the back OF the driver, or his assist
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

On the Piazza--Thc Cheerful idiot
Reported Conversations-The
Characterization
nosis, Etc, Etc.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26

ant, to their place in the house,
where they are emptied, a cleanly
and simple operation, that offers no
obstruction to traffic, and that should
commend itself TO every one as the
,nly sensible plan OF doing the job.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
SHIPS THAT PASS N THE NIGHT.

Shifo THAI fho9 ~ ihh Niohi'
"What kind of n ship is thatP" she
asked, asa vessel crossed the moons
track while they were gazing out up.
on the sen.
"That is a schooner yacht" he re-
piled.
"Ahl" she murmured, "now 1
should like TO havea schooner yacht. "
"Well," said he, 'as You cannot
have schooner yacht, what do You
say to little smack?" and he suited
the action TO the word, aud she was
satisfied. New York Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
rrraLE rAnKEp rS n1s srrre.

First Burglar--"Hark | I hear somo
man talking"
Second Burglar--"What's he say
ing?"
First Burglar-"That he never will
bet on another horse as long as he
lives"
Second Burglar get out Of
this No money here he's lost every
cent. Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
POOR.

Irate Father I die shall
leave you without penny"
Calm Son-"Certainly You can't
take monoy along you know. Truth.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
MAKING THE BEST OF 1T.

The Maiden-"Did you tell your
mother of our engagement"
The Youth-"I did"
The M.-"And didn't she say you
were throwing yourself away? Come,
tell the truth"
The Y.-"She did"
The M.-"That's just what mother
said to me when told her 1 was 60
ing TO marry you. Let us join in
mutual condolement. New York
Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
NOT TO BE RETURNED.

Eriggs-"Gander seems to be very
happy in his newly married life"
Griggs-"He ought to be. All of
his wedding presents were given him
by people already married. Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26

Has that horse pedigrce?" asked
the tourist.
Nope" replied the farmer; moth
in but the heaves." - Washington
Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26

She SIT on the steps nj the evening tide,
Enjoying the balmy air.
He came and asked "May sit at your
sidey"
And she gave him vacant stair.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26
REPORTED CONVERSATIONS.

"Do you Ilke me! askeu the Key
hole.
"I have fellow feeling for you,"
replied the key. Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-07-26

BUDGET OF FUN.
VARIOUS SOURCES.
On the Piazza--Thc Cheerful idiot
Reported Conversations-The
Characterization -Diag-
nosis, Etc, Etc.
She SIT on the steps Mt the evening tide,
Enjoying the balmy air.
He came and asked. "May 1 sit at your
sidey"
And she gave him vacant stair.
REPORTED CONVERSATIONS.
"Do you like me?" asked the key
hole.
''f have fellow feeling for you,"
replied the key. Puck.
POOR.
Irate Fathor-"when die shall
leave you without penny"
Calm Son-"Certsinly. You can't
take money along you know. Truth.
DIAGNOSIS.
Has that horse pedigree?" asked
the tourist.
Nope" replied the farmer; moth
in but the heaves." - Washington
Star.
NOT TO DE RETURNED.
"Gander seems to be very
happy in his newly married life
Griggs--"He ought to be. All Of
his wedding presents were given him
by people already married. Judge.
TIE CHEERFUL IDIOT
"where have you been?" asked the
cheerful idiot.
"Been holding an inquest" replied
the coroner.
"On the de id?"-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
AFTER HER own HEART.
Cobwigger-'1 hear Winthrop is
building IL house for his bride, and
allows her to superiutend things"
Merritt -"He did until he saw she
was making it nothing but closets. -
Truth.
PERFECT GEM.
Mr.. Gotham -"Is that suburban
cottage that you are advertising really
desirable?"
Undesirable? Why, sir. it's
painted in sixteen colors. New York
Weekly.
CASE OF DISGUST.
"Been out to your grandmother S
funeral again, eh? asked the boss.
"Naw," said the Office boy, who had
seen the home team lose. 81 seen a lot
OF ole women git killed Of, dough. "
Indianapolis journal.
THE CHARACTERIZATION.
Mr.. Wudby--"You and get along
famously, Dolly. I'm not very hare 20
please, am l ?'
Little Dolly (who has an attractive
sister of twenty)-''No; 1 heard sister
say you were very soft"
WOULD TRY IT LATER.
Visitor-"Well, Tommy, DO you
think you will ever be President of the
United States?'
Tomn.y-"Oh, dunno. Mebbe I'll
try for it after / get too Old to be q
pitcher. indianapolis Journal.
COULDN'T ESCAPE.
"Didn't that song fairly carry you
avay?" said Mrs. Cumso to her hus-
band, as the soloist resumed her seat.
"Indeed it didn't, was Mr.. Cumso' 5
reply. 'If it had [ would not have
come back again. "-Harper's Bazaar.
PATRIOTISM.
"Johnny, said the young man,
''what is you, idea OF patriotism?"
Patriotism" replied the boy, after
some thought, lis what makes we hol-
Ter for the Washington nine when it's
in eleventh place. Washington Star.
MrsuROoM AEcuFoLOGY
cold Scroggins's new place up in
the Adirondacks has n hundred acre
lawn around the house"
But l heard him say he was dis
satisfied with il