davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
PRIMITIVE GRAMMAR.
How Syntax Appears When 1t Is Reduced
to Its Simplest Elements.

How Syntax Appears When 1t Is Reduced
to It's Simplest Elements
Everybody knows the story of the
Englishman who, dining with man.
DARN. desired to know what meat he
was eating. He pointed to the dish
and said interrogatively "Quack-
ouack?" His host shook his head
and answered with the politest of
smiles: "Bow-wow. And there, says
Longman's Magazine, you have the
language in it's simplest elements
AS yet, however, it possesses no
syntax. no order, no formative prin-
ciples. Now push the thing one stage,
further. Let US make verb, to eat.
The simplest way Of doing this is to,
initiate the sound of teeth in grind
especially in grinding hare.
grain, like corn, or coarse roots and
foodstuffs. Ny'm, ny'm, ny'm, or
nyum, nyum, nyum, is about as,
near as we can get to it in ordinary
letters. (The Italian gnm, gn'm, or
the Spanish nm, nm, would repre-,
sent it more accurately Hence,
MUM nyum is a common symbol for
TO eau Will SdSdBCS.
Now ask with an interrogative in,
Fiction of voice, "Nyum-nyum quack--
ouack?" and that means, Am l eat
ing duck?" The answer comes with
shake of the head, "Nyum- nyum
bow-wow." and that means, ooh.
dear, no; it is dog you are eating,
True, the grammatical elements OF
first and second person are her sup
pressed, but so they are in many
primitive languages, and 50 they are
even in the negro dialects OF French
and English. lenses and persons are
frequently lost. "Him gwine town"
means "He is going to town" in negro
English. Him eat" means ale is
eating;" Him eat yesterday" means
"He ate,'" and so on generally. IL
have eaten" becomes in Creole French
"Moi finn NANCE" that is to say,
"J'ai t1ni manger." "Rich niger,
him mulatto; poor mulatto, him mig
GER" gives the simple grammar OF
negro English; in Creole French
where ri" means "lui," it comes out
in the precisely analogous form,
Negue richie, Ii mulatte; mulatte
pauvre, Ii negue That is grammar
reduced to it's simplest elements.
Now, to carry the process one step
further. You see the remains OF
duck lying on the ground IN the
neighborhood of your compound, and
you wish to know what has happened
to it, You ask a savage bystander,
"Row-wow nyum- nyum Quack- Quack?"
That is to say, "Has a dog bitten my
duck?' The savage shakes his head,
p It's his own round stomach, and an
swers with gusto, "Nyum-nyum
Quack- quack." That means Il have
eaten it
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

SLOWLY but surely the conserva-
tive-not to say benighted- Europe
ans are adopting the comforts and
conveniences of American railroad
travel. There are one or two vesti-
buled trains on the English roads,
and now it is announced with great
flourish of trumpets that the new
fast express between Ostend and
Vienna will be train de luxe, the
cars being connected with covered
ways. giving access from one end of
the train to the other" This ap-
pears very commonplace luxury to
Americans, but it is undoubtedly
viewed as great affair on the conti
nent. Some day they will adopt the
baggage checking system, aud then
the millennium will have arrived.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
Must Soon Ston.

Vice Admiral Lefevre, French Min
lister of Marine, estimates that by
about 1905 the type of ironclad now
being constructed by the nations of
the world will have reached its
apogee, naval ornaments along pres
sent lines will be completed, and the
nations will have armed, for the sea.
up to the limit. The naval budgets
will. he thinks, attain their maximum
by that time and will then diminish
for some time This is figuring along
present lines. A complete revolu-
ton, like that Of the introduction Of
Steam, would be needed to upset the
calculation.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
A Repuisiye Beast.

A sport formerly INDUCED in by
some natives of India, and even by
Englishmen living in the country,
was the hunting Of antelopes by
means of the cheetah. This animal
is a sort Of leopard, and in many re-
spects is like huge cat. Princes and
1naharajahs used to each keep one or
more cheetah to engage in the sport
and the animals were regularly
trained for their work.
J. Fortune Mott, in the Century,
describes cheetah hunt which he
saw at Jeypore, given by the maha-
rahjah of that place. The party
started before daylight, in bullock
carts, tongas the Indians call them,
with the cheetah in the care of his
keepers, his head covered with a
leathern hood and straps about his
loins and cord about his neck by
which he was held. An antelope was
soon sighted, but for some reason the
cheetah refused to follow him. The
second time the hunters were more
fortunate. The hood, writes Mr..
Mott, was slipped from the cheetah's
head. He saw the antelopes at once,
his body quivered all over with ex-
citement, the tail Strengthened, and
the hackles on his shoulder stood
erect, while his eyes cleaned, and
he strained at the cord, which was
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

The New York policeman's lot,
like that of the copper" of the opera,
IS not happy one these days The
Lexow committee is piling OSsa upon
PeIion in the way Of evidence show
ing that the wearers of Gotham's
civic blue levy regular tribute upon
the unfortunate inmates OF disorder
~ houses, and now to clap the eli
max the New York Herald has start
ed crusade against the gum-chew-
ing ndbit. to which it alleges New
York policemen are so generally given
that the annual police parade, held a
few days ago, resembled the morn
ing promenade of a lot of school,
girls
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

WHATEVER may be the faults Of
the Chicago police force, too much
cannot be said in praise of the Off
GERS who guard the crowded crossings
in the downtown district. Their
work is the most exacting and nerve
racking that can be imagined; their
hours are long and they have to deal
with all sorts of foolish, unreasona-
BILE and exacting people. Yet under
these disadvantages it is rare that
one of the corner men" loses his
temper or fails in the performance of
his duty. He picks children out
from under horses feet, he steers in
toxicated persons from the roaring
sea that surges in the street to
haven Of safety on the sidewalk, he
answers sixty questions an hour with
unvarying good nature, and, most
beautiful sight of all, he keeps in
subsection the fiery, untamed cab
driver and his colleague the reckless
truckman by mere crooking Of the
finger. The crossing policeman is a
Joy and a blessing, and his beneficial
and philanthropic work goes far to
redeem any shortcomings that he may
occasionally be guilty of.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
4 YOUTH who will make his mari

4 YOUTH who will make his mark
in the world sent two wagons to a
Methodist church in Buffalo, and in
broad daylight proceeded to fill them
up with the furniture. He drove off
and sue ,eeded in selling the goods.
After an exploit of this sort it is sad
TO think that he INDUCED in the COM
mon business of forging checks. For
the last work he was arrested, but he
will be heard from yet. either as a
United States Senator Or as a prom
inenU Wall street operator.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

SOME unwise newspapers continue
to speak of Colonel Breckinridge's
ofTense as being found out" This is
cynical, misleading. and, as matter
Of fact, untrue. Colonel Breckln-
ridge is suffering, not SO much for his
sin, which has found him out, as the
uncomfortable pride and glory which
he takes in it. Modest stiffness and
humility would have palliated his
offense in the minds of ninety-nine
people in hundred. Brazen impu-
dence and audacity are bringing down
on him the justly deserved reproba-
tion of everyone.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

LORD RosEBERY is probably the
nappiest man in England. He should
be, at any rate. Twenty-three years
ago he vowed that he would marry
the richest heiress in England. win
the Derby, and be Prime Minister
before he died. Ladas' victory over
the Epson Downs course puts the
Gaping climax upon the sum of his
titled owners ambitious, for Rose
berry married Hannah Rothschild, the
richest endowed maiden IN Great
Britain. succeeded Gladstone as
Premier, and has now won the blue
ribbon and the 5000 guineas, which
are the prizes OF the worlds greatest
annual horse race. To fulfill such a
varied tri!ogy of desires Us the lot Of
but few mortals.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

THE City Council Of Chicago passed
All ordinance forbidding the sale of
cigarettes containing opium, NOR
phine, glycerine, jimson weed, bella
donna, or sugar." The Mayor vetoed
the ordinance on account of the sugar
and glycerine prohibition, but the
Council passed it over his vetO-60
to =. The two believed with the
Mayor that sugar is harmless, but
the sixty others had read the Senate
ADMINISTRATION reports too we'll to
take any risks. 1t looks as though
Chicago dealers would have to handle
cigarettes made out of tobacco.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
Fatal Illusions.

Gage blindness" is the western
name for peculiar affection to which
Montana miners are subject. After
working in deep mines for a good
many years some miners, when they
come to the top to work, imag ne
they see the basket suspended in the
shaft ready to lower them down to
the bottom. The illusion is so abso-
lutely perfect that the poor, deluded
mdn, If alone, is sure to try to step
into the basket and he shoots
through the shaft to an awful death.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

HENRY WILSON IN 1s'@who had none to
give him." When only 10 years Of
age he was bound out" to a New
Hampshire farmer, to serve until he
reached the age Of II. BY the terms
OF indenture he was to have one
months schooling in the winter.
food and clothing, and at the end of
his term he was to receive, in pay
ment for his services, six sheep and
one yoke Of oxen. On attaining his
ma ority he received his sheep and
oxen, VIII :ch he converted into cash
Ssh. Up to this time the largest
sum young Wilson had ever possessed
was less than 81, and a single dollar
would cover every cent of cash he
had ever expended.
Young Wilson found no opening at
home, SO he went to Natick, Mass.
where he learned the shoe trade, and
by great industry and economy
worked his way upward.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

MEMORIAL DAY is always prolific of
oratorical asses who seek the occasion
to advertise themselves by giving ut
terance to radical or revolutionary
doctrines. Such prostitution to base
uses of the day of sorrow produces an
effect similar to that experienced by
one climbing the great pyramids only
to see stretched out on them in huge
letters the advertisement of brakes
BitterS" and somebody's miraculous
soap. The star performers at the late
memorial occasion happened to be
two ministers of the gospel, so called.
One, named Cave, at Richmond, Va.
preached rebellion revived and blat-
ant. Another named Grose, at Frank
ton, Ind, counters by shouting the
bloody shirt wdrhoop from the North
ern standpoint. Each Of these rev
erend" ranters wants the civil war
fought over again. Though blasphem-
oLSly claiming to be mouthpieces of
the great Preacher of Peace they talk
like Satan addressing his archangels
of ruin in the bottomless pit. It is
little strange, not to say disgusting,
that the most bloodthirsty sentiments
on occasions Of this kind should pro-
coed from occupants of the pulpit.
When real war RACES it is not notice
able that they are especially bellig-
erent. In war they are lambs but in
peace they are TANNERS They are
the most civil military men and the
most military civil men that the
country affords. When old Jube
Early was trying to rally his men
against Sheridan during the rout at
Cedar Creek, he met one of his chap
lains fastening wildly to the rear.
That's the way with you preachers"
sneered old Jubal. You are always
preaching about going to heaven, but
when you get a chance you are no
more anxious TO avail yourself of it
than the rest of u.s." This timely
rebuke conveys a lesson that might
prove instructive to the Caves and
the Crosses
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
THE ENCHANTED SPIRAL.

curious Home Magic that Will Mystify
Visitors.
Make small spiral of very fine
iron wire. and coat it slightly with
oil. Place this coil carefully in a
basin of water, and it will float on
the surface. Take a straw or glass
tube, and immerse the lower end fol-
few inches in a glass containing
soapsuds. Before removing the tube,
place the index finger over its upper
end so that some drops of the suds
will by the air pressure remain in it.
Hold this tube over the center of ghe
coil, and by quickly removing and
replacing the index finger allow a
drop of the suds to fall upon the
water The spiral will Immediately
make several revolutions in a most
mysterious manner.
The audience should have it's at
tention attracted to the fact that the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

nous snarls, looked wicked, and
tugged at the cords by which he was
held. These proceedings on his part.
together with the CORY appearance he
presented after his feast, drove the
ladies from the scene. His head.
limbs, and portions Of his body were
covered with the blood. and it was
running out of his Jaws. He was
such a repulsive-looking beast that
we were all glad when he had been
taken back to the cart.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
THE Young man who fits about tn

THE young man who fits about the
candle of the stage has a friend in
DIR. Fauve of Paris, who declares
that the odor of flowers has per-
nicious effect upon the human voice,
and advises that the presentation of
bouquets and baskets of the same to
dramatic and operate artists be dis
continued. This opinion of learned
man is sure to benefit the wallet of
the soubrette's gentleman friend.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

THE suit instituted by Attorney
General Olney to recover SIS, 900. 600
from the estate Of the late Leland
Stanford, as part of the debt now
due the United States from the SYM
Railway, marks the first attempt of
the Government to recover any part
of the immense sums owing to it on
account of the assistance it loaned to
the builders OF these transconuinental
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

MARK TWAIN's story of the man
who went to Washington as an appli-
can't for foreign mission and gTadu-
ally abated his demands until he
would have taken janitorship if he
could have got it, is not nearly so
pitiful as the case of A. 9. Chewing,
who was picked up senseless from
hunger in the grounds of the Smith
sonian Institution few nights ago
Chewing came from Virginia six
weeks before in the hope of obtain
ing government situation. His
money became exhausted, he was
forced to leave his boarding house,
and when he was picked up uncon-
scious by policeman he had eaten
nothing for four days. 1t is to the
credit of the people of Washington,
who are not commonly credited with
much sympathy for unfortunates like
Chewing, that they have raised
comfortable sum of money and sent
him back to his wife and children in
Virginia, who, it turns out, were also
starving. The moral of the incident
is plain. Any man who can make a
bare living at anything else should
shun the idea of getting political
job" as he would pestilence- The
best of these positions, even after
they are secured, are neither perma-
nent nor comfortable. The pursuit
Of them, in nine cases out of ten, re-
suits in disappointment and misery.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

more than a mere society leader. she
is woman OF widely recognized abll-
ity and rare intellectual culture, ana
the fame of her achievements is IN
ternational.
During the Worlds Fair Mrs. Hen
rotin was the acting president OF the
woman's branch Of the Worlds Con-
gress Auxiliary, and her services were
of incalculable value. To her proba-
bly more than to any other single
person is due the great success which
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

crowned the efforts Of the ladies IN
that line. Mrs. Henrotin is Of the
highest type of the cultured women
of the West. Charming manners
and great womanliness added to her
Judgment and business ability beyond
the average are among her character
istics. She is member Of all the
leading women's clubs of Chicago and
is prominent in educational and lit
erarV circles.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
A Rust Preventive for Iron Pipes.

A Rust Preventive for Iron Pipes.
For the protection of sheet iron
pipes from rust, tarring is now large
ly resorted to, as method alike SIM
pie, economical, and effective. The
sections, as made, are for this pur-
pose covered with coal tar. and then
filed with light wood shavings and
the latter set on fire, the effect of
this treatment, it seems, being to
render the iron practically proof
against rust for an indefinite period,
and rendering future painting un-
necessary. In confirmation of this.
the instance is cited of chimney of
sheet iron erected in 1866, which,
through being subjected to the treat
ment in question, is as bright and
sound to-day as when erected. though
never having had any paint applied
to it since. 1t is suggested that by
strongly heating the iron after the
tar is laid on the outside the latter
bee mes literally burned into the
metal, closing the pores and render
ing it rust-prOOf in far more COM
plete manner than if the tar itself
be made hot and applied to the iron,
according to the usual practice pur-
sued. 1t is a matter of Importance,
Of course, in carrying out this meth
od with iron pipes, not only that the
iron should not be made too hot but
that it should not be kept hot for
too long time lest the tar be burned
off, and hence the disturbances of
using light shavings instead Of any
other means of heating.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

was this h or,
conferred on q man
more worthy Of it.
Isaac Pitman was
born in T r o W.
bridge, England,
Jan. +, 1873, and
at II years of age
w a S obliged to,
earn h j S living.
His first treatise
on shorthand APP
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

new, and the jaws open and close
positively, and in use the puller will
not brui,e or smash the fingers. 1t
is stated that by the strength and
positive leverage Of the tool it will
pull nails with ease, giving tia range;
from a tack to POD nail.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

ISAAC flrhAN peared n 1897,
and it was Immediately declared to.
be far superior to every other. He
originated the phonetic style that
Of writing by sound. His system,
with many improvements by others,
IS now practiced by the majority Of
shorthand writer's of the English lam
guage.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

BRoNIsLAw HUBERMAM, the new
10-year-old violin prodigy who is as
tonishing London, is Pole, only
four feet high. Bronislaw may be a
fair to middling fiddler, but he
wouldn't earn his salt gathering per-
simmons.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

lines. Attorney General Olney should
pu. h the suit to the bitter end, and
in default of payment seize upon the
properties against which the Govern
ment holds liens. A reversion OF
these railroads to the people is more
to be desired than the repayment of
all the moneys loaned Or guaranteed.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

Miss LILLIAN Russell has been
made the subject of a shaving soap
advertisement. If all Of her hus-
bands shaved themselves she ought
to be good reference.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
The Busy Bee.

The honey bee is supplied with a.
pair Of compound eyes with hundreds
OF facets. each capable of sight by it.
self, as well as several simple eyes.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28


United States, was
known as Jeremiah
Jones Goliath un-
til he was 81 years
Of age. His par
ents were very
poor, and he, as be
used to say in pub
lie, "knew what it
was to ask bread
fnor, q ~,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
Ancient Flour Mills.

The handmill, composed OF two
fiat clrcu ar stones, was in use almost
all over the world until the fifteenth
century. 1t was commonly worked
by two women
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

held short. In second it was I'M
fastened, there was yellow streak
in the air, and the cheetah was
crouching low some yards away. In
this position, and taking advantage
of a certain unevenness of the ground
which gave him cover, he stealthily
crept forward toward buck that
was feeding some distance away from
the others. Suddenly this antelope
saw or scented his enemy, for he was
off like the wind. He was, however,
too late; the cheetah had been too
quick for him. All there was to be
seen was a fash, as the supreme rush
was made. This movement Of the
cheetah is said to be, for the time it
lasts, the quickest thing in the ami
NAL world, far SURPRISING the speed
of a race horse
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

--ENAMoRED Youth hope
to find a place in your hearth" Lady
love Gin de siecle)-"If you hurry up.
There are ony few choice locations
left. It'd
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

WERE Moses alive the chances are
he would not think the mistakes of
Ingersoll worth paying any attention
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
kNIGHTED BY THE QUEEN.

Isaac Pitman, the Aged Inventor of Pho
netic Shorthand.
Queen Victoria has knghted Isaac
Pitman. the inventor Of the Pitman,
system of DhOnetic shorthand Never
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

NEWSPAPER portraits have helped
many a man to successfully conceal
his identity.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
An e citing See lie.

Certainly it surprised all Of US,
who were intently watching the de-
tails Of the scene being enacted in
our view. The pace was so marvel
ously great that the cheetah actually
sprang past the buck, although by
this time the terrified animal was
fairly stretched out at panic speed.
This overshooting the mark by the
cheetah had the effect of driving the
antelope. which sweryed off imme-
diately from his line, into running
round in a circle. with the cheetah
on the outside. The tongas were gal
loped up, and the excitement of the
occupants can hardly be described.
In my eagerness to see the finish. /
jumped off and took to running, but
the hunt was soon over, for before |
could get quite up, the cheetah got
close to the buck and with spring
at his launches, brought him to the
ground. The leopard then suddenly
released his hold and sprang at his
victims throat, throwing his prey
over on it's back, where it was held
when we arrived at the spot. The
hood was then thrust over the
cheetah's eyes, his letters were re-
placed, and he was ultimately in
duced to let go his hold of the ante
lope.
However, he did not submit to be
led away from his prey without a
protest, for he gave some low, Omi-
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
ADrrDDri. t,e.

Charleston, S c.. is the Palmetto.
City. from the prevalence OF this plant,
in the neighborhood.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28

THE Rev. Mr.. Cave appears to
have gone in and pulled it in after
him.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-28
HENRY WILSON,,

Who Spent Less Than 81 Before Ole
Enough TO Vote.
Henry Wilson, the distinguished
Senator from Massac husetts, and at
his death Vice President of the