davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
THROUGH "sASDY" EYES.

A well-known litterateur not long
ago delivered lecture before n Butfa-
10 club, and in the course of his talk
he had occasion to quote Shakespeare's
lines about "uueasy lies the head that
wears crown" etc. At the conciu
sion of his address he was approached
by Scotchman, who expressed hi.
pleasure at the talk, but took occnsion
to say that his appreciation of Shake
speare was only limited.
"There's that bit you said about The
uneasy head and crown. / dinna like
it. It's muckle foolish. Now our
Robbie Burns would ma ha' writ such
stuff"
The lecturer was tribe surprised,
but inquired politely why the Scot
thought as he did
"Oh," said the Scotchman, there
na n mon in Scotland, king or any
DO ly else, sac foolish as to go to bed
wi crown on, Any mon o sense
wud hang it over chair before
turning in. "-Harper's Magazine.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A "Lost AtlautIso Clue.

An IDOLS head of baked clay has
been found in the sand dunes near
Tangier, where it was laid bare by the
wind. The mouth is large and wide
open, the eyes small, tine Uranium very
small, the brow retreGting, and the
back of the head fiat. 1t is said to
have in extraordinary degree Il like.
ness to idols found in Mexico, par.
tlcularly to the god called Xipe. Eyes
and ears are very little modelled, and
on the top of the head is pointed o3.
iect. Nipe was god worshiped on
the coast of Mexico with rites OF un
common cruelty; he was also tbs god
of smiths and goldworkers. His human
sacrifices were hayed alive. The Tan.
gier idol has been decorated with gold
mica. This discovery is sure to re.
vive the old theories of n primitive
connection between the Phoeniciani
and the Indians of Central America by
way of the. .'lost Atlantis. New YORK
Times
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
WISE WORDS.

Time is an island in Eternity.
Words are the overcoats of ideas.
A man is not hated until successful.
Love is genuine SO long as it is jeal-
Gus.
The worlds center is where a man
lives.
Low ideals make small men feel
heroic.
Tomorrow is the day that never
comes.
Some fellows get very low down in
getting up in the world.
Corns do not lose any of their win.
dictiveness when covered with patent.
leather shoes.
AS we must render an account OF
every idle word 80 must we likewise of
our idle silence.
How to stop growing and not die
seems the great problem to be solved
for some people.
We are all living under sentence
Of death. Sooner or later the sentence
will be enforced.
The lover who will lies to his sweet
heart can not be depended upon 70
make truthful husband.
That it is so much easier to see the
faults than to find the virtues of peo.
pie may account for the superabund
ance of fault-hnders, and this would
imply that the fault-fnder Is lazy
person, always seeking the easiest job.
Never condemn your neighbor un-
heard however many the accusations
which may be preferred against him.
Every story has two ways of being
told, and justice requires that you
should hear the defense as well as the
accusation; and remember that the
malignity of enemies may place you in
similar predicament.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

hot fire and pressing them. The juice
which results from the pressure is the
drink.
Alcohol is drink very much in de.
mand, but very hard to get. 1t is
given out occasionally to the gun crews
to clean the big guns with. At such
times as this the sailors who are thirsty
drink the alcohol and blow their breath
upon the guns, holding that that does
as much good as though the alcohol
was applied. The officers, however,
are incapable of grasping the logic OF
this reasoning, and so when any one
is caught drinking the alcohol there is
sure to be another man in the brig
before night.
A starboard cocktail is the namo
given to the only mixed drink which
is within the reach of a sailor at sea.
The ingredients for mixing this stuff
are very hard to obtain, and SO it is
only had on state occasions. 1t is
made from shellac, such as chairs and
floors are vanished with. and in which
there is great quantity of alcohol.
To get this the painters chest must be
broken into, and the ringleader in the
attempt requires three accomplices
and marline spike. The accomplices
must dance, sing or make some noise
that will drown the sound of the mar.
line spike tearing away the lock of tho
chest.
When the shellac is obtained and
taken to some quiet spot it is poured
into hot bowl, which causes the
shellac to stick to the sides and leaves
the alcohol clear. The liquid IS
strained off into cups and then the
juice from several lines is placed in
the cups, sweetened to and weakened
to the taste, and the starboard cock.
tail stands complete. New York Sun.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
Miniature Dictionaries.

A popular prize Just now for sou.
venirs, is the tiny chatelaine diction,
ary. The trinket is finding rapid sale
at present, not only for such purposes
as named, but because of the indi.
vidual recognition of the real value Of
the little article. The tiny booklet,
not much larger than postage stamp
of the old vermillion type, contains
in its leaves 10, 600 words with their
meaning. When snug in its silver
case it is no thicker than an ordinary
locket, while it's size, rs stated, is of
the postage stamp order. In the silver
cover of the little dictionary n magni.
flying glass is affixed. When the owner
desires to look up word, he simply
opens the little locket, holds the
cover with its glass over the pages,
and the print appears as fine type,
easily readable. The case which
forms the cover of the dictionary
comes in silver or gold, though the
silver has the preference. The ladies
buy the trinkets and fasten them to
their chatelaines. The gentlemen
treat them like a postage stamp or
match case and carry them loosely in
their vest pockets. Detroit Free
Press,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
To Make a Ball that Bounces.

Boys who are always losing their
balls can make them themselves.
Take a common cork and cut it as
round as possible, making it the size
of an ordinary marble. Then tear off
very narrow strips of rag and wind
these, one at time, around the cork
until the ball is of the desired size.
Then cover it with cloth, or If boy
is fortunate enough to have an oblig-
ing sister she will make cover of
crewels by dividing the ball into
quarters, winding the wool several
times around it, then buttonholing
the quarters all round one-half then
the other half, till an edge is formed
on each side Of each quarter, then
buttonholing with any colors of wool
till the quarters are quite filled up,
when a seam finishes them, and a
capital ball is the result, costing
nothing to make, but really service
able.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
LITTLE GREEN TAllORS.

"Grasshoppers, what are you doing2n
Cried Elsie, out on the lea
"Cutting out dresses for fairies
Little green tailors are wen-
Snip, snip, snip, snip
"Little green tailors are we.
shaking warm mantles and tippets
Out of the white thistle down,
Wrappings for all the wee ladies
To wear when the snow comes DOWN -
Snip. snip, snip. snip
"To wear when the snow comes down.
"Gowns OF green velvet and satin.
All slashed with purple and gold.
Pctuls we've plucked from the pansy,
Datfodils brought from the wold"-
snip. snip. snip, snip
"DiTodils brought from the void.
"Coronets studded with dewdrops
Twine we for each little head,
Rufiies Of laces the rarest,
Woven of gossamer thread"-
Snip. snip, snip, snip
"Woven of gossamer threud,
"A band of little gree tailors.
Cross legged we sit on the grass,
Shipping and stitching and singing.
Listen, wee maid, when you pass"-
Snip, snip, snip, snip
"Listen, wee maid, when you pass ~
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
Only Partially Domesticated Yet.

Although long a captive, and for
ages, perhaps, the most serviceable Of
all the creatures which man has won
from the wildS, the camel is still
only partially domesticated, having
never acquired even the small meas.
ure Of affection for his master which
we find in the other herbivorous ami.
mails which have been won to the
service of man. The obedience which
he renders is but dull submission
to inevitable toll, The intelligence
which he shows is very limited, and
so far as | can Judge from the ac.
counts of those who have observed
him, there is but little variation in
his mental qualities. As a whole,
the creature appears to be innately
the dullest and least improvable of
all our servitors. s.-Scribner's
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

In France the telephone is used on
many railroad main lines. Ona Dor.
ton of the Vincennes Railway rather
novel system is in vogue by which at
given signal on the telephone lnstru-
ment the operator connects the tele-
graph wires with telephone for ver-
bal communication, The large Aus
tralian railways use fell telephones,
which may be connected with the tele-
graph wires at any point without in
terrupting the tclegraphic communi-
cations.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
Caught n Queer Fish.

A curious fish is on exhibition in
this city. It's body measures only a
few inches around, but is five feet
long, with decided thpering at the
tail. 1t was caught at Oyster Bay and
is supposed to be an oyster-crushing
eel. The formation of its mouth would
seem to imply the name, for the roof
of the upper jaw is solid mass OF
hard bone, with similar surface in
the lower portion of the mouth. -
Washington Olympian.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

Germany has for years possessed the
most efficient pigeon service in Eu.
rope. At Strasburg there are 600
birds, at Metz 600, at Thorn 1909,
and they are kept by the hundreds at
other centres, such as Mainz, Cologne,
Kiel and Danzig. The whole frontier
is connected by pigeon post with the
military headquarters and with towns
iu the interior. The service is sup
ported by an appropriation of about
$4,000 year. The practical use of
the pigeon post was fully demon.
str ated at the siege of Paris in 1870.
Since then it has become recognized
part of the military organization of
all European countries except Great
Britain. Russia has now on her Pei
ish frontier alone, 5000 birds. and ap-
propriates yearly SO, 900 for pigeons /;
the French appropriation is twice as
large, "-'-
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
perience is said to be without a par
allel. So we should think.
Interesting Experiment..

The following experiment will be
found useful in evening entertain
ments or for children's parties. They
are all harmless, and no trouble can
result from them.
The first one is an optical illusion.
Cut two figures, just alike, out Of
black paper-crosSes will answer the
purpose-and place them in front OF
white paper, about three inches
from the eye. Have the eXtremities
Of the crosses about half an inch
apart. Look at them steadily and
you will see three crosses, all black,
and the middle one entirely separate
from the others. If the crosses are
made of two colers, as red and green,
and placed on a black paper, the
third one will appear white.
Another effective experiment is the
floating lights; this is easily accom-
plished, and it is hard for people to
see how the trick is done. Insert a
medium sized nail in the lower end
of half candle. If there is trouble
in pushing the nail in warm it a
little. The candle is then placed in
Il tumbler and just enough water
used to reach the top of the candle
without touching the wick. The nail
is used for weight. The candle is
then lighted, and it will burn at
the top Of the water until the
candle is all used up. One would
naturally suppose that the blaze
would soon reach the water, and be
eXtinguished, but the fact is, as the
candle burns away it grows lighter,
and being lighter, rises in the water
BY using colored glasses to hold the
water, il makes very soft light for
use at night in case Of sickness.
Another singular experiment can
be easily done. Procure a piece of
tulle and have glass filled to the
brim with water. Moisten the cloth
thoroughly and place it over the top
of the glass, pressing it down tightly
to the sides so it will adhere to the
glass Hold one hand tightly over
the top of the glass, so no air can
enter it. and turn the glass upside
down. Then by drawing the glass
away carefully sidewise from the
hand, it will be found that the water
will remain in the glass, and not
even drop will come through the
tulle. 1t is well to try this over a
sink the first time, as if one gets ex.
cited and removes the glass too sud
denly, the water will all escape. The
whole secret is in drawing the glass
slowly sidewise away from the hand,
instead OF lifting it.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A SEVERE ORDEAL.

The two ladies had not met for some
time and they were vitality interested
in each others welfare.
81 hope your health is better than
when l saw you last, said the first.
"No, I grow worse every day, re-
sponded her friend, despondently.
TOO bad too bad! What seems
to be the matter?"
s'No one knows, and the doctors
say they cannot tell till after the post
mortem."
''Why, how awful. You poor, dear
thing! In your weak state, you can
never live through that w-Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A Large Family,

William Michaels, of Logansport,
Ind, is II member of remarkable
family. His grandfather was Henry
Neher, who died drecently. Mr.. Neher
had fourteen children, each of whom
IN turn became IL parent of fourteen
children. making the old gentleman
grandfather to 1876 children. The
progeny of the grandchildren mum
bered 357, making the grand aggre.
gate for the family down to the fourth
generation SGT. OF these 553 were
present at the funeral of their ances-
tor, making one of the most remark
able family gatherings on record. -
Chicago Times.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
END OF HIS RESOURCES.

1t was little New Hampshire vii
lage among the mountains, where the
country store served as a postotiice,
circulating library, shoe store, grocery
store, dry goods store and everything
else combined, that Boston lady,
glancing over the books, inquired,
"Have you BrowninS!"
"No," said the attendant somewhat
regretfully, and not knowing just
what kind an article Browning might
be, eve have not" Then, mora
brightly. "We have backing and
blueing and have man who does
whiting. We OCCASIONAL do pinkins.
Would any of these do?"-NIichigaa
Tradesman.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

New York and Boston together have
ten miles less OF paved streets than
has the city of Chicago Philadelphia
has forty miles more of paved streets
than New York andSt, Louis together
The question of pavement, which was
formerly considered only with rela,
tion to the wear and tear, or, rather,
the wear and pressure of vehicles, is
now considered by the students o
municipal administration generally in
reference to the problem of stree
cleaning, says the New York Sun.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
EVOLUTION OF TIE FOLDING BED.

Mrs. De Flat-"Have you anything
new i'll folding beds?"
Dealer-"Only this, madam, and it
really is quite II success. On arising
in the morning you touch Il spring.
and it turns into washstanl an |
bath tub. After your bath you touch
another spring, aad it becomes
dressingcase, with French plate mir
ror. If you breakfast in your room n
slight pressure will transform it into
an extension table. After breakfast
you press these three buttons all once,
and you have an upright piano. That's
all it will do, except that when you
die it can be changed into rosewood
coffin. New York Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
Formerly the man with n hand

Formerly the man with hand or
gan strapped over his back and an up
right STAFF firmly fitted to one side of
the instrument was familiar sight !;
but now one rarely sees this old speci-
men of music box. The musical piano,
which is run on wheels, and which, if
anything, makes even more hideous
noise, has almost entirely supplanted
the old organ.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

A promoter in California proposes
TO build an electric railway through
the mountains sixty.two miles to the
Yosemite Valley, and, by utilizing the
water POWER, furnish electric light and
motors for all that region. About
1000 tourists visit the Yosemite every
year, paying So each for the stage
ride
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A Birds Linen Nest.

A housewife at Langholm, Scotland,
has just had a somewhat novel expert
ence. She had just washed some chill
dren's collars, and hung them on a
hedge surrounding her garden to
bleach. They were missing and could
not be found, but have now been dis
covered as forming part of the founda-
tions OF thrush's nest situated in the
cleft OF an ash tree in wood close to
the garden. Glasgow Times.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

handsome house next door Is the par
sonage, presume?'
Deacon De Good" "N-o. Fact ls,
the parsonage is some distance up
town, but we intend to make an offer
for one of these nearby residences
soon"
"The price will be high, no doubt.
"Um-I think not. We sha'nt try
to buy until after our new chimes are
put in. New York Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

French statesmen, notably NJ. LIE.
vile, are endeavoring to extend to
France the benefits of the American
homestead, and as there is no word in
the French tongue which is proper
equivalent for it, the word "home.
stead is retained in bill that has
been introduced in the Chamber oi
Deputies.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
Great Scott,

Mrs. Elliott, of Delaware County,
New York, started down a flight OF
stairs with lighted lamp in each
hand and the pancake turner she had
been using held in her mouth. She
fell, the handle of the implement
was driven through her neck and tho
blade had 10 tie cut of before. the
rest of it could be pulled out And
she is recovering.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

Among the Sioux no lover can have
the girl of his choice unless he can out
run her. The scientists say this is a
survival of the earlier method of am
buscading an intended wife and kid.
mapping her as Il means of opening the
Cnurt shin
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

The New York World prints list
of 100 New Workers who will have to
pay an income tax of $1,000 and up
wards. ". W. Astor's tax is set at
S17S,000. Mrs. Hettie Green pays
more than any other woman.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
MAKING A COMPROMISE.

Wife-'1've got to have some money
and some new clothes and some shoes
and hat and wrap"
Hubble Gracious, you don't have
to have al! that, do you?"
Wife (studyinS a minute) We'll,
I'll compromise on the money. De
troit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
THOSE NEEDLESS QUESTIONS.

She-"Oh, Mr.. Williams did you
fall in?'
He dripping in his walking suit) -
ooh, no, indeed. I've just been TAX
ing dip. l always bathe in this suit.
No bother gettiny dressed afterwards. !"
--Harper's Bazar
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

The despised rabbit of Australia is
being anxiously inquired for by the
British army contractor, records the
American Agriculturist, who sees a
possible supply of cheap and whole.
some food for the army in that direc-
tto,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A GOOD ENOUGH SPEC.

Neishbor Whetstone-''D'ye think
it was good spec to send your son to
college and give him larnin' !"
Farmer Clovertop ''You bet !;
There's that bully, Sanders, who owns
the next farm. Ned's whipped him
out of his boots since he came back. "
New York Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

The whole counsel Of God is not
being declared fIom the pulpit where
the most notorious sinner in town
can be ii member OF that church 1oi
years and be respected.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A SUDDEN SHOCK.

Looking up suddenly she beheld
before her the bearded face of man,
with cleaning knife between his
teeth.
Then she tainted.
1t was no wonder, for she had been
carefully reared, and had never seen
any one eat pie in that manner before.
indianapolis Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A USELESS ERRAND.

81 walked up the street in the hot
sun and overheated myself" said Mr..
Bloobumber, as he sat down, putting
and blowing, and began to fan him
self at furious rate.
"What was your errand?" asked his
wife.
81 wanted to consult thermome-
ter. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
THE DECEITFUL POETS.

SIT is pretty well established, said
the professor, that Mars has no at
mosphere."
SIS it possible" asked the specta-
cled young woman, "that the poets
who tell us about the martial air have
been deceiving us?"-Indianapolis
Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
EFFECT OF CIVILIZATION.

Johnny-''Pa, what's the difference
between cannibals and other folks?"
Pa-"Cannibals, my son, eat their
enemies; other people generally go no
further than to live on their friends
and relatives. boston Transcript.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A GREAT CONTRAST.

Briggs - "Why, how fat you are
looking, old man."
Griggs Eyes. I've been camping
out for the last three weeks"
Briggs-"So heard. But I've seen
the ether members OF your party and
they are all as thin as rails
Griggs-"I did the cooking. New
York Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

Old Woman-I am sorry to hear
little boys use such bad language.
Have you thought what becomes of
little boys who use bad language?
Street Urchin-Yes. Dey becomes
hosscar drivers.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A HINT,

"Why don't you get boy to keep
your desk in order?" inquired the
caller ''It looks awfully Uttered
up"
81 keep it this way said the man
az the desk, ''to show that I'm always
busy"
"But why-Oh, I see! Good day yr'
Chicago Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
An Unpratefui Teacher,

Little Boy.-They won't ever get
me to give another 10 cents toward a
present of book for the teacher.
Mother-What went wrong?
Little Boy-We got the principal
to select one for her, and he picked
out one that was JUS crowded full of
information, and she's been teachin'
1t to us ever since,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
MAKING UP FOR LOST TIME.

Csller-"I Mr.. Jackson in?"
Office Boy-"Yes, sir. But unless
it's very important he can't see you.
You see his baby is teething now."
Caller-''Whath has that to do with
it,"
Office Boy-"Well, ] don't like 10
wake him up. Now York SUI.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A SWEET DANGER,

He - ''They say kissing is un-
healthy"
She-''Everything has its risks. ~
Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE,
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

The Wrong Species - Sarcasm - A
Sweet Danger-Slow Collections
AReal lIIeroine-AH Hint, Etc, Etc.
She fell upon his neck.
In wild alright shreked he,
This picnic youth with the pale, sweet face !;
A caterpillar she.
Detroit Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
A REAL HEROINE.

He-'I expect to make you the
heroine of my next novel"
She--''On the strength OF the fact
that 1 read your last one. New York
Sun.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
SLOW COLLECTIONS.

"What's Cholly doing?"
Trying to collect his thoughts"
''Poor fellow. He isn't the first to
have trouble with bad debts. Wash
ington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08

EVEN the most successful attempt
to bear the wheat market must go
against the grain. Buffalo Courier.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-10-08
SARCASM.

Barber-'You have tender skin,
sir"
Customer-'I did have when came
in here. You have it now. Judge.