The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1894-01-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Observed of all observers-The look
ing-glass. Halo.
Struggles with the dentist generally
end in q draw. Halo.
Gle is your closest friend?" eyes,
he never lends cent. Harvard Lam
poon
Fly paper is gradually being with
drawn from circulation. - Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Yachts take spins to show whether
they are tip-top or not.-Boston
Transcript.
Nearly every boy determines to whip
a certain school teacher when he grows
up. -Atchison Globe.
Belief can't bear to think of my
thirtieth birthday" Alice-"Why,
dear-what happened?"-Yogue
When you can think of nothing but
the weather to talk about it is good
time to keep quiet. -Atchison Globe.
1t is noticeable that the man who
thinks he is whole show by himself
seldom draws a crowd. milwaukee,
Journal
There is some consolation in being q
bachelor when you hear a woman talk
fifteen minutes without taking
full breath. Halo.
Money on call is not to had; that
is, not on one call. 1t takes many,
and then you don't always get it
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
Miss Singleton-'T never expect
to marry" Miss Sateful-"But you
know it is the impossible that always
happens. Boston Transcript.
81 guess I'll Quit" said the boy who
was scraping perch at market fish
stand. "Tm tired of doing business on
such small scale. Washington Star.
IT'S now the heartless iceman
With never the least ado,
Leaves on the steps a piece Of ice
That will chill the whole house through.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
A boarder has good reason fo- sus.
pecting his landlady of hypocrisy when
she advises him to eat sparingly if he
wishes to be healthy. New York Jour
nal
"Painter Schmierlein's representa-
tions of tropical life are 50 realistic
that any critic who examines them too
long is sure to be afflicted with sun
stroke. "-Scbalk.
'My son, if you think it is hard
work to get up in the world, just try
to raise q mustache and you will find
Infinitely more difficult to get down.. D."
-Elmira Gazette.
Teacher Ito class in addition
'Now, take two mince pies and four
mince pies, what does it make?"
Johnny Longhead - Nightmare,
ma'am. New York Journal.
Young Man-'T want an engage
ment ring" Jeweler - eyes, sir.
About what size?" ~ don't know ex-
actly, but she can twist me round her
finger, if that's any guide. "-Iit-Bits,
"While the lamp holds out to burn"
Which line an old song does begin,
In these electric days should read
"While yet the dynamo does SPIN
Buffalo Courier.
'What are you crying for, Fritz"
''Because my brothers have a holiday
and 1 haven't. "But why haven't you
a holiday, too?" because I'm not
old enough to go to school yet File
gende Blaetter,
Bright-''By dividing your detec.
tives into two squads you'd accom-
plish u great deal more" Burns
'What would do that for?" Bright
$50 one-half could hunt clews while
the other went after criminals. -.
Vogue.
Tommy (who has been studying with
but poor success) Pop, my teacher
says history repeats itself; does it?"
Tommy's Father - eyes, my boy,
sometimes. Tommy-"Well, [ wish
mine would repeat itself, cause 1
can't. "-Philadelphia Record.
The Professors Daughter - ooh,
papa, here is the sweetest little bird,
that one of the boys caught in the
yard. would so like to keep it for a
pet, if I only knew what it eats" The
Absent-minded Professor Eve can
find that out easily enough. I'll cut
it open and examine its crop. "--Indi-
annapolis Journal.
Where Poe Wrote "The Raven"