davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
"THEM's THEM"

The Old Fellow Wanted to smooth til,
Way to n Peaceful Future.
Tho educated young man HAD
struck the mountain town for sta,
OF several weeks, and ut tho RAILROAD
station he was met by the landlord
OF the tavern which was to DO home
to him during his visit.
"Got'ny baggage?" asked the man.
1.-Two trunks" responded the Wis
itor.
"Whar are they?"
"Those are they" designating b,
O nod the two which belonged t,
him.
"Which?" inquired the landlord
stopping suddenly.
"Those," repeated the youth
pointing out the two with his stick
those are they"
Eyes. yes" said the old man, be
coming very fatherly in his manner
"but you hadn't better say it So.
anybody kin hear you. IF 20,
wanter git along with the folks il
these parts. and live peaceable,
reckon you'd better say. them
them,'n
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Moon.hiners Much overr.ted.

"Moonshiners are the most overrated
people in the world-except their can,
tors" said a gentleman yesterday.
ITO read the newspaper accounts one
would suppose that deputy marshal
takes his life in his hand every time
he goes out to hunt these critters. AS
q matter of fact, the moonshiner is
the yaller dog of the criminal breed
and about as dangerous. OF course,
once In q while a man gets hurt by
them. II You will take the trouble TO
look into any report of the commission.
er of internal revenue you will find
very few lives lost at the hands Of Tie
moonshiners and o very small pro.
portion Of wounded. know, for I've
Investigated the matter myself, and I
was as much astonished when I as.
certained the facts of the case as Won
can possibly be.-Louisvilla Courier.
Journal
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
CHAPTER HI.

The Lauriston Garden Mystery.
I confess that / was considerably
Startled by this fresh proof of the
practical nature of my companions
theories. My respect for his powers
of analysis increased )ndrOusly.
There still remained some lurking srls-
picion in my mind, however, that the
whole thing was a prearraaged cpl
sode, intended to dazzle me, though
what earthly object he could have in
taking me in Was past my comprellen-
sion. When looked ut him he had
finished reading the note, aud his eyes
had assumed the vacant, lack-luster ex-
preston which showed mental abstrac-
lion.
'.aow in the world did you deduce
that" asked.
"Deduce wilat?" said he petulantly.
why, that he was a retired sergeant
of marines"
Il have no time for trifles," he an
swered brusquely; then. with smile,
''EXcuse my rudencss. You broke the
thread of my thoughts; but perhaps 1t
IL rs well. So you actually were not
able to see that the man was ser
gcant Of marines?
$40, indeed"
ut was easier to know it than to ex-
plain why know it. i you were ask
cd to prove that two and two made
four, you might find some difficulty,
and yet you are quite sure of the fact.
Even across tho street I could see a
great blue anchor tattoocd on the back
Of the fellows hand. That smackcd of
the sea. He had military carriage,
however, and regulation side whiskers.
There we haye the marine. He was q
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Big waterwork. Project. Abroad.

a plan for supplying Paris with wa
ter from Lake Neufchatel is under con-
sideration by the municipality. 1t in
wolves the building Of an aqueduct over
800 miles in length and at an estimat.
ed cost Of G0,0O0,O0O. An earlier plan
proposed to use Lake Geneva as Il
source of supply. the estimated cost
being S1OO,O0O,OOO. The engineer of
the Neufchatel plan proposes to tun-
mel the Jura Mountains, and to give a
head of 394 feet in Paris. One Of the
greatest engineering works of modern
times Is the artificial lake impound-
ing the waters Of the River Vyrnwy, in
Montgomcryshire, to supply Liverpool,
sixty-eisht miles distant. The lake has
a storage capacity Of 1,50OOOO,O 600 gal
Ions, and power is given to supply wa
ter over certain belt of country on
each side Of this line Liverpool is
thus placed on IN equality as to water
supply, with Glasgow, Which has laid
Lock katrine under contribution. and
with Manchester, which is doing the
same with Thirlmerc.-Ncw YORK.
Tribune, !,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Vain Dountle. to French Shipping

The new French bounty laws which
came into force Mt the beginning of
1898 are not having that anticipated
effect on the French shipbuilling ill.,
dustry, nor are they at all increasing
French trade. Indeed, it has been OK
pressed at Bordeaux. that, notwith.
standing the material assistance given
by the French government. merchant
shipping is still on the decrease, from
year to year. And can it be wondered
at that this is SO. when the shipping
is ovcrstocked to such an extent thai
many of the great companies are no,
paving more than per cent OH CAPITAL
while multitudes Of tramDs are act.
ually In debt at the buoys ut the Tyne
and at the Wear. Speaking generally.
the only people who are making mon.
ey out Of shipping are the managers
by means Of their commissions. With
hulls and engines that are deprcclat.
ing ut tho rate of 10 per cent rer an.
NUN where does the profit come in,
even with G per cent dividend?-Phila
delphia Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
sHe Wac ovERcoMa
TAe Surgeon Pslysyllssie vsrAaas
Was Toe Naeh fer the varaeo.

TAe Surgeen Pelysyllsbie vsrAeaoe
Was Toe Mack ter the vifaSe.
Tired. after numerous calls to "a
tients, who had broken noses, broken
heads or broken hearts, one Of Director
Reitler's police surgeons was waiting
the other day at street corner In the
Fourth ward for horse-oar, says the
Philadelphia Press. He Is q martyr to
cold feet and, rs the car did not ar.
rive, his teeth began to chatter and b
entered nearby dry-goods store and
said to the proprietor:
Good morning, madame. May
walt In this store until my car ar
rives?"
"Faix, an Idon't know bout that.
] don't want sthrange min In me shop.
GIT out!" said the woman addressed.
but my feet are cold, and surely, in
the name Of charity"
OUT"
Surely madame. you don't think
would steal anything. I could buy
your store and I'LL tho rickety tene.
ments around you. and have lots OF
warmly.
"Stcal. is it," Taix, but I'm not SO
sure of that" exclaimed his critic.
Just then the surgeon saw his horse
cur coming and he opened fire ON the
woman rs follows:
You intlnitesimal creature of n mum
dane sphere locked in the depths Of
your Observation-Disclosures, you vassal OF
an intfammatory oligarchy, whose
word is latitudinarianism. Otcrquc
quarterque bcati uuis onto ora patrum,
TrOjae sub moenib,ls altis"
For once in her life the virago was
"foored," and she listened respect
fully ii the surgeons Latin with her
mouth open.
Stay If We wish, sur" she said. ut
last, in quaverins tones. but don't
swear in that Way that makes me blood
cur-r-d!e!"
The surgeon fled. The foman had
met her master,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

The recent lltter from the Judge Of
awards or Baking Powders at the CHI
cago worlds fair. exposing the fraud
ulept claim of Chicago house that
it's baking powder mad received the
highest award for strength, purity, eX-
cellcncr, etc. is sc;,thing rebuke to
those manufacturers of cheap baking
powders who have no regard for The
brain, hut llabitually seek, in their
public announcements, to decisive con.
sumcrs. The Judge of awards states
that lW such award was given to the
Chicago concern, ard has notified ii
that it must cease publishing his naIle
IN connection with its false statements
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
COLONIES OF THE WORLD.

PORTUGAL has Z, SOL, 900 people in her
colonies.
The German colonies have popula-
ton of 3s5,OO0.
The colonies of France have 81, Ooo,-
900 population.
In 1888 the population of the British
colonies numbered 232,O0O,OOO.
The annual commerce of the British
colonies amounts to s44s, 100000.
Algeria is held by standing force
of $4,000 men, nearly all from France.
The French penal settlements in
New Caledonia have about 5000 con.
victs.
The British colonies have an annua
revenue of sllo, 900, 900 and q debt of
94o3, 900, 900.
Denmark once had extensive colo
MES; now their population numbers
only 10000.
In 1870 the British colonies, exclul-
ing India, had population of 5,ooo,.
900; now 100000.
In 1914 the population of British ter
ritory in India numbered 10000, 900;
now it is 214,O0O,O0O.
Spain has over 400 islands in the
Eastern seas, mostly comprised in the
Philippines and Moluccas.
The total population of the Dutch
colonies is estimated at 100000 or
more than six times that of the moth
er, country.
Russia has no colonies in the proper
sense of the word. All the additions
to this gigantic empire have been by
military conquest and annexation.
The Spanish dependencies now have
a population of $500, 900. In the days
of Spain's greatest glory the colonies
were estimated to have $50, 0OO, COO
people.
The area of the British colonies is
100000 square miles, that of the
French 1900, 600, of the Dutch, ego, 900,
Of the Portuguese COG, 600, of the Span
sh 1000, Of the German 99,O and
Of the Danish $4,000.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
A Little Dar,,np.. n,scovo-x

Professor-Some OF the grandes;
inventions OF the age have been the
result of accidental discoveries.
Young LADY, can readily believe
it. Why. l made an important dis
covery myself, and it was tho pure ST
accident. too.
IL should much like to hear it."
"Why. l found that by keeping {.
bottle of ink handy. fountain per
can be used just the same as any
other pcn-without any OF tho bottle,
and muss Of filling it,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Tribute of Admiration,

Irritated Passenger - What are
you cycling mo SO closely for?
paid the fare for these two ladies
and myself when we got on.
Street Car Conductor-I know it.
You're the man that gave me fifteen
one-cent pieces l wouldn't forget
it If l shouldn't sec you again for
eleven years.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Had to Take Him.

Satan-Who are you?
New Arrival died from excessive
cigarette smoking, and ST. Peter
wouldn't let me in.
Satan--Hum! Well, we'll receive
you, but you've got to go of and air
yourself first
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

The pleasant effect and perfect safety
with which ladies may use the California
liquid laxative. Syrup Of Figs, under all
conditions. makes it their favorlte remedy.
To get the true and genuine: article. look
tor the name of the California Fig Syrup
Co., printed near the bottom of the package.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Never Buy Whiskcy Tor AFedlof.
under celebrated names are spurious, chSeI
articles. whose bOttlers cannot AFFORD q
have their names on the lal,cis. =.
by the oldest AMI largest firm In the iiG',c :.
line in the Northwest and the favor with
which 1t In" 'ren received! ~ the best proof
of It's superior quality. Ask your druggisS
or retail dealer for 1t.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Hidden Shoals Wreck stronx ships.
The good bark health. with the brave
mariner hope at the helm, Is drifting on
inactivity Of the kidneys. Shift your
course by the aid of Hostetters Stomach
Bitters, which will pilot you into the har.
Dor In SAFETY, and save you from Bright'a
disease. diabetes or dropsy. The Bi{tera
check malaria, rheumatism, dyspepsia and
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price, Zoe. ~
The Ladies',

Giving to the poor is the one and onlH.
way In which you can make God youx
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

~ on, NV HEAD
.SA Could becursdbysr.osa4
S6 HEADACHE KILtIR &rs.
NXlA lieves in twenty mir ~,
N and contains NO .p1ssn.
<R>ezf For sale by 'dru9g1p1s; o.
- 1h0X1 send your name q boeaaA
for free sample, or 30 "a,
~ full box to Goddf1ck n
Jennings, AnokA,, MINI,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Men with much money seldom tell what
they really know about finance.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

"IIa1son's Magic Corn salvs.w
Warranted to cure or money refunded. All youP
druggist for II. Price Is cents
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
An Expressive Warnins


Progress of Time.
"What Is going to happen when TIL
foreign dukes have married all tt
American heiresses?"
'"rhe duchesses will come over
marry I'LL the American heirs. "-.vol =
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

He that keeps his bed too late in the
morning Is seldom a happy man.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Never Duy Whisky tor areaief.

There Is such q thing rs mistakihe. &c
sound stomach for clear conscience.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

The heavier the load the less the vason
rattles. se~s
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

ldsgeman's nnAs:... - ,xy.ah 0lycsrans.
Chllbains. Piles. &c. . &. II Il: Co New Haven. CT
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

wronG.-Dryden.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

A Startling Experience While Lion
Hunting in the JunGtc.
Two lions had been shot, when we
both heard an animal breathing along
side Of our shelter. within few feet
of us. and the next instant gentle
shake given to the hut. and noise as
of one of the loose branches with which
it was covered being torn of, let us
know there was another lion in the
ncighborhood even more enterprising
than the two that had been shot.
1t was soon evident to me that the
animal was looking for an entrance
to our shelter, for, after tearing off a
few more boughs. it got to the place
where we had crcpt In, but which was
now blocked up with poles. Here it
halted, and. from tho way it kept touch
ing the poles, seemed to be trying to
get his paw through. This was little
more than had bargaincd for. and
ut the risk of mourning the charge Of
inhospitality, 1 resolved to try to keep
our visitor outside in the cold OF
course, Willie the lion was acting in
the manner | have described, ], on my
side, was not idle.
AS soon as ] had realized what our
visitor was trying to do, turned round,
and, lying on tile ground. tried to look
between the intcrstices of the poles
forming the entrance to our hut. 1t
was. however. so absolutely dark that
/ could see nothing. Instant action was.
nevertheless. necessary, for as the poles
forming our hut were not fixed to the
ground. the lion might have got its
paw between two Of them and pulled
them out at any moment, and then,
by pushing its head and shoulders
through. would infallibly have over
turned the whole structure.
TO prevent such contamination, I
now pushed the muZzlc of my rifle be.
tween the poles. just where my ears
told me my would-be interviewer was
moving them, and, pointing 1t upward.
holding the stock on the ground, pulled
the trigger. Once more, and for the
third time that night, the report of the
rifle was answered by the most terrific
grunting roars it is possible to con-
ceive, uttered rs they were within six
feet Of our own ears
am sorry ! had not a photograph
with lne to preserve these powerful ex-
pressions of the feelings Of q wounded
lion. Suddenly released in a London
drawing room l feel sure that they
could not fail 10 produce very marked
effcct.-Selous' Travels.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
on, NV HEAD

The really short-sighted man Ii the
who cannot look within himself.-GatU
ton News. "a
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Fire escapes are more common on build.
tngs In America than in any other country.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

before fool. S'f~
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Shiloh's Cure -
eoad % guarantee It cures IncpEent Consump.
aon. It's the best Cough Cure. 2octs. S0cts, 6 Si&
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

There IRE no known means by which thu
scars made by smallpox. may Be removed.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
Hidden Shoals wreck stronx s.,,

goes to heaven. 'A"s
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

'You did not come here IN a cabSs
asked Sherlock Holmes.
."No, SIR"
"Nor Lestradc?"
'No, sir"
"Then let us go and look Mt the
ROOM" With which inconsequent re-
mark he strobe on into the house, fol-
lowed by Gregson. whose features OK,
pressed his astonisllment,
Go be Contlnuctl.)
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

The cloud that comes with a great blus,
ter Is apt to bring little rain.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Some men seem to have been made soua
OF dust that had gravel In it.-Ram's Egrn.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

A Spell Put Upon tho whaler by an In
dian Who Had lsecn Abandoned on nm
Island-A Crow Unobtalnable for Years
and the Craft burned.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29
HE FED AN ELEPHANT.
Was Too Exciting to Dcsirc Any
More of II.


mo, wasn't born this way" replied
the man. as he backed up to chair,
got his crutcllcs from under his arms
and fell into the seat. This came on
me suddenly one day, about fifteen
years ago." quotes the Detroit Free
Press.
what do the doctors call it!"
"Damphoolisnl. l believe. That's
what 1t is. anyway"
Got fall from n balloon:"
Rather worse. l don't mind saying
that about fifteen years ago l used to
think l knew it all. You've heard Of
the town of Chillicothc, Ohio. maybc?"
Yes"
well, ornamentcd that town with
my presence and flattered myself that
the people couldn't possibly spare me
over a day at a time. l was ut the
apex Of my conccit when circus came
along. There was n drove of eight Gle
plants in the mcnagcrie. and as stood
before them l wanted to do sometime:
awfully smart. One Of the beasts was
reaching for cakes. and determined
to give him n lighted cigar. An old
gray-haircd farmer who stood by twig-
gcd my game and uttered word of
caution. but wasn't taking advice
from haysceds ut that epoch.
And you carried out your plans, chg
Il did. puffed on the weed until it
had lots of fire, hid it behind me for Il
minute. Jnd when the elephant reached
again I let him have it fire end first.
Something happened. of course. l had
just commenced to grin and look
around for applause when that probo-
scis suddenly picked me up. whirlcd
me high in the air, and then l WAS flung
clean across the tent and landed under
the cage of serpents. knew wen the
fun begun, but couldn't see the end
of it. l was unconscious for two days,
and when / came to was knocked so
out of my plumb that the doctors could
not do any better than this for me.
shall be a cripple to the end Of my
days"
But -"
"Oh. certainly! l know more than I
did. and ] shall never have the swell
head again. 1t seems that the elc-
plants trainer had his eye on me all
the time and I've often felt that it was
too bad he didn't feel inclined to kick
me all over town and thus enable me
to learn wisdom and keep my shape at
the same time"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

The surgeon fled. The foman had
| met her master,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

MOST PERFECT MADE.
Apus Csaps Cream Of Tartar Powder. m
TN Ammonia. Alum Of any otha aduitaaaE
20 YEARS THR STANDARD.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1894-06-29

Stay il We wish, sur" she said. ut
last, In quavering tones. but don't
swear in that Way that makes me blood
<n,r
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-26

PERsoNAL.-Mr. AMI Mrs. E. E.
Meredith were the guests last night
and to-day of Mr. j. A. Marshall.
Mr.. Edward w. Nails and Miss An.
ME Thompson, daughter of Mr.. T. j.
Thompson, were married at the First
Baptist Church yesterday morning by
Rev. J. II. Butler The ushers were
Messrs. J. T. Ballenger, Henry Nails,
Russell Wilkinson and VIM. Starnell.
Mr.. and Mrs. NJ. B. Harlow and fam
lily leave shortly for Asheville, n. c.,
where they will spend the winter. Mr..
Harlow has been in poor health for
some time and hopes a rest and a
change of climate will benefit him.
Misses Bette and Emma Watkins,
who have been visiting Mrs. Slater in
Staunton, have returned to their home
in this city.
Rev. w. A. Slaymaker, of Berkeley, is
visiting his brother, Mr.. Amos Stay
maker, in this city.
Rev. A. G. P. Dodge and wife who
have been visiting relatives in this city
have returned to their home in St. ST.
mons, Ga.
Miss Mary E. Fendall left for her
home in Maryland to-day after pleas
ant visit to relatives in this city.
Revs. ]. S. Gardner and @. A. Wheat
were in the city to-day.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-26

He SoUEALED.-An individual, hav-
ing the reputation of being an expert
with the paste boards, entered house
in this city day or two ago and en-
gagged in that thrilling pastime, draw
poker. The capricious goddess was not
casting her smiles upon him and his
limited capital was soon transferred
from his to his companions pockets.
He then approached the proprietor anG
endeavored to negotiate loan and was
refused. In sullen humor and smart
ing from the claws of the tiger, he pro-
ceeded to police headquarters and
swore out warrant against his host.
The case was brought up in the Police
Court this morning and the accused and
accuser were both fiued S., the former
for permitting gambling and the latter
for engaging in it,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-26

CHARGED WITH THETA strange
negro named Henry Stevens was ar
rested yesterday by Officer Arlington
on suspicion of having stolen pantaloons
patterns from Mr.. John Henshaw's
store, on Washington street, a day or
two ago. Stevens had been begging
around the city for several days, and
Wednesday went into Mr.. w. l.. Tow
sons store, on the Strand, and offered
to sell pantaloons patterns. The police
were notified and Stevens was soon
caught and locked up. He is believed
to be the man yho broke into the fruit
stand on King street, near st. Asaph.
He will be sent on to court.