The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-09-11
BILL ARP AND THE Docs.


-
ThemLThe Dogs Hold n Convention
on His Piazza and Feast on His Pet
Rabbits.
Beware of dogs. l want a dog law
right now. l can't get up half u dozen
times in he night 10 shoot u popgun
pistol at the dogs. i never saw such o
crop as there is this year / never knew
them so impudent. Every night they
congregate all round my house and ON
the front portico and the back piazza.
They play q while and fight a while.
BY The time l get the pistol and open
the door they scatter and / can't get
aim in the dark on any one-neve
could shoot much On the wing nohow.
But give me u double-barrel shotgun
and q fence to rest it on and u dead still
game within easy reach and L can shoot
as good as anybody. I'm waiting for
moonlight nights now, and then woe
be unto dogs. There are u dozen or
more here every night. They are
holding q protracted meeting or u dog
matte convention and l think that our
Scotch dog laddie presides. 1 think
he invites them, for he won't fight
them. Our grove is such q beautiful
attractive playground and the piazzas
are so long n broad and the tennis
court is near by. But it is u late thing
this dog campmeeting at my house
and we don't understand 1t. The other
night | got up and slipped around in
my celestial garments until | caught
cold. | shot three times, but the dogs
never even yelped nor run away. Next
morning my wife gave her consent for
me to use s~trichnine. So visited the
drug store and called for the deadly
/ nn1Gnn Tho mn mo 1,nlyal ne mo
with q suspicious one of voice and ask.
ed me If | had been reading Bob Inger-
soil on suicide, but he finally put up
h strichnine and made me sign u re-
ceipt on the piZen book. That night
just before we went to church | locked
up u dog and put out two pieces of
beef at the back door and two at tho
front door. When we came back the
beef was gone, but not the dogs. 1t
looked to me like they were more
thicker, more denser, as Cobe says. |
put out four moro pieces and got up
about midnight and prOwled around
with a lantern. l found a big spotted
hound staggering and reeling at the
back door. He fell over the old mares
water bucket and seemed to me to be
enjoying his agonies. [ waited on him
a while and concluded to hurry him
up a little so | went back and got the
little pistol and put it in about u foot
of his head and fired. He kicked the
bucket awhile and departed this life
intestate.
But as yet we have no relief. L don't
know how many have wandered of to
die, but last night the convention was
bigger than ever and more tumultuous
and see no relief but moonlight nights
and half a dozen shotguns. Some Ct
the town boys are going to come over
and have a picnic.
Dogs are curious creatures. There
Is 70 animal of better qualities or
worse ones no race of animals of such
endless variety. There is none so loyal
to his master and disloyal to other peo-
pie, and hence nobody cares for any
dog except his own. The good st.
Bernard's maxim, Love me, love my
dog" is good theory but poor practice.
A good, faithful dog commands more
affection than the ~favorite horse that
Is far more stately and valuable. A
man will defend his dog from abuse
almost as vigorously as he will his
child and the maxim might well be
modified to If you love me, you must
respect my dog"
But the best dogs in the world have
a streak of wolf nature in them. The
most faithful watch dog will slip of be-
tween midnight and day to join in a
raid upon the neighboring flock of
sheep. | have known them to go two
miles to engage in this business and
nothing betrayed them but the wool
that was found between their teeth.
The discovery was astounding to their
owners.
Somehow or other dogs have been
under the ban in all ages and conn
tries. At least other peoples dogs
have. Goliath said to David Am
dog ?" etc. David said: 81 am com
passed about with dogs" ST. John
ruled them out Of heaven, for he said
Without are dogs and %sorccrers and
murderers and idolators." He saw
horses in heaven, but no dogs. The
ancient astronomers declared the dog
star to have an evil, malignant iniu-
ence, and hence the weather was hot
and fiery during the thirty or forty
days that it rose and set with the sun
in July and August.
Ever the small boy takes his first les
son in swearing by saying "dog ON it,"
o "I1l be logged" This may be
called a cursory expression, but some
times 1T leads to cur-sing.
The dog star is a bright star in the
tail of the dog-major canis-and sail
ors guided their vessels by il before
UO VI Nv mag ilcU. lncN
called it Cynoscuros, which, in Greek,
means a dogs tail. The pretty word
"cynosurc" comes from this. So when
it is said of n beautiful woman in an
assembly that she was the cynosure of
all eyes it literally means that she was
the dogs tail of the whole concern.
The word "cynic is an unkind relec-
tion upon the dog, for it means q dog
In the shape of a snappish, snarling,
l~ll-natured man. 10 say of a bad man
that he is as mean as q dog is another
unjust reflection. Better say he is rs
NEAR as a mean dog, or a suck-cgg
dog, or a sheep-killing dog, or a Mig
gers hound. Some men are meaner
than the common run of dogs.
Shakespeare says: "I'd rather be a
dog and bay the moon" One of the
first hymns we children learned was by
DR.. Watts, and it began
Let dogs delight to bark and bite,
For God hath made them So"
But Byron was more appreciative
and said 81 love to hear tho watch
dogs honest bark" And for the la.S
century mankind have been more con-
Sl1prntn Of thnGn ,rSnfp1 nnl +,,,t,