The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1894-12-17
choice OF HUSBANDS
Rev. John L. seudder Gives
Some Good Advice to the
Girls of His Congre-
cation.

I H2 -
The Rev. John L. Seudder preached at
the Tabernacle last evening upon why
Some Marriages Are Failures" He gave
| the young women present much we'll
meant advice on the choice of husbands.
He said:-sImpulsive people do many
foolish things, and one of these is marry
ing hastily or without properly studying
their partners. Much welded wretched-
ness is due to a lack of fo~rethought, a
| mistaking of true love for a temporary
| romantic sentiment. Marriage is usually
a failure when a woman marries a man
she cannot respect and does not love with
all her heart. Overfnastering affection is
the magic bond which keeps man and
wife from drifting apart. Love enables
a couple to sustain the numberless jolts
and jars of life with equanimity, and
trouble only brings the two hearts closer
together. Love is the most subtle. un-
definable quality, yet it is most substan-
tial and reliable. 1t should exist on both
sides. If lacking on either side, friend
ship should never be allowed TO develop
into an engagement and terminate in
marriage. There is no place where
frankness is more obligatory than in
counting. If a young woman cannot
reciprocate the affection of a sutton, she
should let him know at an early stage
in the proceedings that she can. never
be anything more than a sister unto
lin. Better to have one stormy session
at the start, than a succession of storms
during al unhappy welded life.
SACRED EMOTIONS.
'Tf a woman does not intend to marry
the man who seeks her hand, she has
no right to trifle with his affections. To
lead men up to the proposing point
and reject them, merely TO arnuse her.
self or minister to her vanity, is a
feminine crime which cannot am, t; be con- n.
g. f1end. She may be beautiful to look
upon and bedizened with. lace and jewel
ry, but she is no better than a-Comanche
Indian, with a dozen bleeding Scalps at
his waist. 1t is a sin to make sport of
sacred emotions and embitter men for
life. Such women, when they do marry,
make poor wives, for they are too hard
hearted to make good life partners.
So people marry for ambition A wom-
an receives a iattering offer perhaps
teal life. and she weds in view of her
prospects rather h from the motive
of love. Such matches may result in
positive gains to both of the contracting
parties, and yet they are not as sa~tisfac-
tory as true love matches. A failing
out" may happen much easier, especially
when the tinsel glory of earthly ambi-
tions fade away. Hearts grow hungry,
and you cannot feed a hungry heart on
ambition. Mrs. Carlyle married a genius
and a bear at the same time. He was
literary, but gruff and unkind to his wife.
MARRYING IN PIQUE.
Sometimes women marry i'm pique.
To spite the man she loves, but who has
not been sufficiently attentive to her, a
riage and go and marry her second best
but not really loving the latter, she soon
finds her partner tiresome, and when her
tongue is loose, is sur to tell him he was
only her second choice. She is always
looking over his head to the other man
for whom she has a silent yearning.
Neither party is happy and wedlock is
'fsometimes a woman marries in order
to be supported, or from a dread of lone
Illness at the latter end of life. This is
dragging matrimony down to a utili-
tartan level, and yet / have known such
marriages among unSentimental couple
to- turn out fairly well. AS there was, no
emotion to speak of in the start, little
was expected in after years. Both be-
haved themselves and were true to one
another. They shared the burdens of life
and divided the profits, but there was no
romance in their existence and they ex-
pected none.
Sometimes women marry for money.
They make love to the link accounts of
their prospective partners. and the
is the sentence, with I'LL my worldly
SOOQ6S tItG cIlQoW. bul IldnY Oh J06S6
women are far from happy. Their hus-
bands often become rakes or drunkards,
and turn the home into a purgatory.
What are vel ~ety carpets, beautiful pic
lures, a stylish carriage, a dozen courses
at dinner. If all the while the woman
carries an aching heart? h wanted
money n she got exactly what she
wanted, but nothing moreno love, no
delicate attentions. such as the femin-
inc heart feeds upon. Much of high
life is a hollow show.
EVIL HABITS.
"SometimeS women marry men whom
they know{to be addicted to evil habits,
such as drinking or gambling, or playing
the debauchee. They vainly think they
can break up these evil habits when they
are once married, but here they make a
great mistake. Bad habits grow. land
IL a man will not give up an evil practice
before marriage to please his sweetheart
you may be sure he will not do it after
marriage .te please his wife. IT does not
ter Ito be an old nsaid to eternity, than
to be linked to. q man whose life will be
a continual source of discomfort and
sorrow.
FINALLY, it is important that people
OF like tastes and sympathies Should
marry. Disparity of age is not CON
dueive to happiness, neither is it wise
for people to wed who occupy widely
differing social levels. People Of difYer-
ent religious beliefs should not marry.
if they are inclined at all to sectarian-
ism, for religious wars beside the hearth
stone are not conducive to happiness.
The happiest marriages are where both
and try to hive. out their religion from
day to day. No marriage was ever a
failure where both husband and wife
feared God and loved each. other.n