Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1894-10-25
Many Odd, Curious, and Laughablo Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"a Budget O. Fun.
Sprlnkles OF Sp'ce.

used 10 nave before tramps got so
thick,-Good News
81 WAS not aware that you knew
him." said Tom Snack to an Irish
friend the other day. "Knew him."
he exclaimed. 81 knew him when
his father was boY"-'Cid-Bits.
ENGRossED-T wonder If it is true
that the Browns are keeping two
servants instead Of one" 81 guess
so. l don't see Mrs Brown 60 out
any more. Truth
AT A PRIzE-sHoCTING. Rlleman
(after repeated misses) - "Donuer
wetter. If those rascally fellows
haven't gone and stuck up the target
in the wrong place again. "-Unsere
Gesellschaft
WHEN we saw the good man stand
ing with the twins in his arms and
singing "Let Cares Like a Wild Del
uge Gomez we knew the great relig.
ious convention was spiritual sue
cess. Plain Dealer
WIFE, must go to the doctors l
fear I've got dropsy. l weigh $50
pounds Husband-Where we're YOU
weighed? Wlfe-On your coal scales.
Husband-Then, don't worry; your
weight is normal Truth.
In the White Mountains: "By
Jovc, what a superb view there is
from here" said wilkins. eyes"
said Dawkins. "Tell me one Of your
jokes now, will you? l fancy | could
see it up here, "-Harper's Bazaar.
ENFANT TERRIBLE-Proud Father
60 friend-"ThiS is my youngest
boy. Frank this is Mr.. Jackson"
Frank (brlghtly-"Is that the man
who mamma said yesterday had more
money than brains?"-Truth.
Mrs SMYTHE-"T There is one thing
about the outlook don't like" Mrs
Jcnkyns--"What is it," Mrs. Smythe
1.-The United States Senate may be
abolished before we become eligible
to membership, Brooklyn Life.
BINAwAY-And young Blower, the
fellow who was always boasting that
he would yet do something to arouse
the country what ever he anne Of
him? Stadehome 5000 Manufacturing
alarm clocks the last we heard. -
Buffalo Courier.
In the Adirondac&S: "If you
should lose your way in these woods
Jack, what would you do?" walk
straight ahead" said Jack. "The
world is rounded. and I'd be sure to
get back home that way sooner or
later "-Harper's Young People.
JAMES, have you poured the Amer
lean champagne into the imported
bottles?" AZ shure GU me name is
Moike, mum" well, you can put
the cobwebs ON the bottles new, and
then practice your English accent for
the rest Of the afternoon. Truth.
"YoU don't seem to think that was
a very good story | just told you, "
he said in a disappointed tone. "Oh,
yes, indeed L do" replied the Boston
girl, reassuringly. "But l was Just
trying to think when that was prob.
ably translated from the Greek. -
Detroit Free press.
JENNIE, said Mr.. Younghusband, |
each Of these clothes bags has got
hole in the bottom Of it," what
clothes-bags? We haven't any
clothes-ba9s ~Why, what's this I've
been putting may collars and cuffs ia |
all this week." "Why, George, That's
the sleeve to my ball-dress!"- -Har-
per's Bazaar.
"THE sins of the father" etc.
Tommy Studying his lesson)-I say,
pa. where does the Merrimac rise.
and into what sea does it empty?"
Pal don't know, my SON." Tom
my-"YOu don't know? And to. NOR
row the teacher will lick me on ac-
count Of your ignorance. Harlem
Life.
MR.. MEEKER-It grieves me sore
ly, my son, to learn that you tell un-
truths. Take Washington, for ex-
ample. He never found it necessary
to lie. Junior Meeker-I know it,
father, but in his day there wasn't
to lie about. He never
tried to trade an air.gun for BIZ
cycle. Boston Courier.
MADE it manifest "Yes, said the
eminent clergyman. 81 nearly left
lhe pulpit once to embark in a mer-
'antile business. but the Lord wished
ne to continue his work. "How did
'ou know He did?" "My cOngrega.
ion offered me 5000 year-and
hat was $4,000 more than l was
'tfered in business. "-Brooklyn Life
IN all policies of life insurance {
hese, among host Of other ques-
ions, occur: age of father, il lly- {
ng? Age of mother, if living?" A 4,
nan in the country filled up his
ather's age, III living" l12 years, /
nd his mothers lO2. The agent was
maled at this, and fancied he had
e"ured an excellent customer, Tut
ceiling somewhat dubious, he re-
larked that the applicant came Of
cry lonR-lived family ooh, you
&c, sir" replied he, my parents died
lany years ago but If living would
e aged as there put down. It'd.
its.