The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1894-06-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

nUMUh VI HE DALI
What is life but great cake. walk
Galveston News.
When man is the slave of gold, he
is serving pretty hard master.
When genius attains to dress-suit
it has become celebrity. Puck.
Some clocks strike ten when it is
only six. 1t is the same way with
many men.
Business" covers q multitude of
transactions just out of reach of the
law. Puck.
A woman'is never so likely to be
mistaken as when she is perfectly sure
she is right.
The angler is so absorbed in his z
hobby that he generally fishes with
baited breath. 4
Good cooks can make pie of every
thing, from beefsteak to vinegar.
Atchison Globe.
Hannibal succeeded in crossing the
Alps; but he didn't have any hotel
bills to pay.--Puck.
A good resolution is supposed to be
one that will stretch little when
necessary. Galveston News. {
"You say he is a bad egg. How did
you find it out?" "He showed it the
moment he was broke. Fun.
1t is is easy for man to paddle his
own canoe when his parents buy the
canoe and paddle for him. Puck
When hearts are broken, as we fin
Theya by wooers rash, ~
To heal them over, neatly bind
In policies of cash.
Washington Star.
When the pot calls the kettle black,
the kettle fearlessly demands an in.
vestigation Of the color of the pot
Puck.
1t is better to walk and catch the
next ferry-boat than to run for dear
life and miss the one that is Just start.
ing.-Puck. !
Hardup is a pretty decent sort OF
chap, but he never sticks to anything"
'Did you ever lend him any money!
Philadelphia Record. d
The star of hope may shine overA
head, but we feel more security when
we can get her anchor planted safely
in the mud below.-Puck. h
Johnny" said the teacher, ''is a
ackass a biped or a quadruped?"
'Please, sir, said Johnny, "that de-
ponds on the jackass. Life.
Lena-"She would be better of
without her husband, wouldn't she?"
Laura-"I should say SO. His lie is
insured for $40, 600. Truth.
When a man begins to remark how
different children are now from what
they were when he was boy, he may
look for gray hairs in his head. Puck.
"Where is the bearded lady, asked
the manager. cit is time for the show
to begin" "He went out to vote,"
explained the ossifed man. Indiana
polls Journal.
The Specialized Girl-"Have you
read Ships That Pass in the Night p"
The Auburn-haired Girl-"No. What
kind are they-courtships? "-Indian-
apolis Journal.
First Lady-"And the last thing
that Henry did was to give me kiss. "
Second Lady-"1ndeed; I should
think that is about the last thing he
would do. "--Tid-Bits.
'Miss wilkins has gone to Europe
to cultivate her voice" 'Dear me
l didn't know she could afford it.
"The neighbors subscribed the
money. Washington Star.
Patient -'T am troubled with in
somnia. What would yourecommend?"
Doctor-"A good, refreshing sleep
seven nights in the week. Five dol
lars, please. Boston Transcript.
Haven't you made Mr.. Bulger's
portrait good deal more than life
size?" said one artist to another.
"Perhaps. You see, that's as big as
he thinks he is. w Washington Star.
Elderly Maiden-"This is so unex-
pected, Mr.. Wellalong, that-that
you must give me time. Elderly
Lover Time, Miss Rebecca? Do
you think there is any to spareg p
Iit-Bits.
Affable Swell-"Weil, the fact is,
my name is not Smithson. You see,
| am travelling incog There's my
card" Fellow Passenger -"Glad to
near It, Pm travelling in pickles.
Here's mine. Brooklyn Life.
odd you tell the hired girl that you
wouldn't put up with her work." asked