Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-07-12
A MELOMANIAC.
How Capt. Tavernier Was "Trans.
ferred to the Thirteenth

Inc pupils of the Polytechnic School
OF rance have queer way of express
ing the'fact that one of their number
mas become deranged. They saw of
the amicted man that he is Trans
1erred to the differentiation it is
statistically true that every thirteenth
man succumbs to the severe mental
strain required for a successful COM
pietion of the prescribed course.
Rene Tavernier graduated at the
head of his class, and was CONSEQUENT
~ free to embrace the civil career. To
every ones surprise. he preferred to
enter the artillery. In all scientific
requirements he ranked preeminent.
out his records for military tactics and
Workmanship were deplorabl as was
also has want of neatness and disci-
pine. He would appear on parade
without collar or minus his buttons.
which usually only chung to him by a
thread. He would answer roll-call
long after the drum had ceased beat
ing, and then wonder why his appear
ance should create such n disturbance
In his opinion the captain had a
queer way of instructing the men.
MIR. Tavernier. you will report for
two days under arrest Return to the
line. You do not know your lesson -
Permit me to remark, captain. that
this is hardly the way to teach it to
me-
You may take four days more
delighted, captain, to see that you
appreciate the justice of my remark -
Why this singular fellow had chosen
n military career was a mystery to his
companions. who even then considered
him slightly off,
Once assigned to a regiment. matters
We're infinitely worse. Arrests rained
upon his Indifferent head. for he
whlled away his hours of captivity by
solving intricate problems destined for
publication, works which gained for
him complimentary letters from the
leading mathematical lights of Paris
When l met Tavernier, he was with
the Eighth artillery, stationed at Metz
He seemed placid enough. but his wide
open eyes had a somewhat restless
glance, and his eccentricities had al
ready become proverbial in the regi-
ment.
He occupied an apartment consisting
of small bedroom and an enormous
parlor, scantily furnished with a grand
piano placed between two windows
and a round table in one corner. This
arrangement of things removed all
useless obstacles which Tavernier
might have encountered in his endless
walk up and down. On the table were
invariably placed a bottle of absinthe,
one of strip, a decanter of water,
glasses, and plates heaped with sweets
and cakes. His orderly had instruc-
tions to repleuish these provisions
every morning. for each afternoon they
We're consumed by a bevy of pretty
actresses, chorus girls, and ballerinas,
whom the ':crazy captain as they
called him. invited to five o'clock. .
These ladies, in more or less start
ling gowns, seemed to enjoy these
gatherings, where they ,dissected their
neighbors' regulations, chartered, nib
bled cakes, and imbibed sweet wines.
while their host, hands clasped behind
his back, walked through the long ex-
tent of the room.
In summer he wore a long coat of
light, figured material; in winter, a
wadded silk kimono. Turkish shoes
curved up at the toes, and a smoking
cap, jauntily poised upon the back of
his head, completed his singular attire.
Passing by each group he had a
word for each fair friend. Dear lady,
why did you not come yesterday? /
was so uneasy about you" MY dear,
won are positively bewitching in that
hat" Couldn't / persuade my charm
ing friend to nibble just one more lit
his hahitual silence, hetwould continue
his walk, completely absorbed in
thought.
Nothing ever occurred at these some
what equivocal gatherings that would
not have been considered perfectly cor
rect in the best society. Only once the
usual calm was disturbed by a little
variety actress, who. ina spirit of fun,
had brought a Turkish fez with her.
AS the captain passed her, she whipped
off his cap, and, substituting the fez,
exclaimed: '.B ehold the .pasha!'
general laugh greeted this sally.
Tauernier, at first surprised at this
lack of respect, tore off the offending
beaddress He grew pale; such ter
rible expression crept into his eyes.
that the lipht-hearted culprit trembled
in femr. and her companions no longer
laughed.
At length, pointing to the door,
~ravernier Numbered forth these three
words. which sounded like an anathe-
ma from heaven:
Leave my presence!
At the stroke of five, TaverI,ier
s,rusoueiy stopped in his walk.
..Mv deArs," said he, lit breaks rny
Seart to interrupt your conversation.
hut am forced to Leg for FIVE minutes
silence"
He opened the window, sat down be-
fore the piano. played for two or three
minutes. then leaned forward, anxious
lv listening to the sounds without
Evidently satisfied. he returned to
the instrument. and again executed
s.,a,.l bars. then closed the window,
and raoidly wrote something in his
IotehooA.
Now. my dearx. pray continue your
charming chatter.
His feminine friends had not failed
to comment upon the apparent cold
mess of their host, whose friendship
they yonld have been willing enough
to meet more than half way. He. how
eyer. was evidently satisfied with their
multitudinous presence. and had never
erinced an individual preference.
In fact he was desperately In love.
Onposite his house lived NJ. de Vernon,
whose Young wife was the object OF