The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1894-12-19

mat staggered the OLD lazy, Tor she is
as loyal to the lost cause as anybody in
the South but once she had claimed kin.
she wasn't going to back down.
We'll. honey said she, with a sigh
there's always a black sheep in every fam
lily Chicago Times.
Uncle Alvah Dunning, the hermit of the
Adirondacks. maintains that the earth is
not round like a ball, but at fiat as pam
cake. or. at best, that it resembles a milk
pan, with enough of an edge to keep the
water from running away.
number of guests at Charlie Bennett's
"Antlers." on Raquette lake. were dis
cussing the theory with Uncle Alvah one
day during the present hunting season. One
of them undertook the altogether hopeless
task of convincing the old man of the error
of his belief. Among other things he called
attention 10 the tides.
Uncle Alvah." he said, you've heard Of
tides. haven't you? How do YOU account
for them if the world isn't round?''
The old man remained silent for a while
and then drawled forth: "Wall, 1 hev some
idee as to 'em."
what is it then?" asked the questioner,
while all the sportsmen drew near to await
the answer. Uncle Alvah was not 20 be
marked:
Ibid We ever turn over in bed. 1 thinks
more than likely
Eyes. I've turned over in bed
"Do we sleep tween sheets?"
Always" replied the questiOner, laugh
ing. whats that got to do with it?''
TITS got all to do with it in my opinion.
When you went over didn't the bed clothes
kind O. slip round an slosh round, an
didn't get there the same time as you did?'
Yes"
wall. that's my idee of the tides. The
old earth sort O. slips round under the
water like a man under the bed clothes, or
it teeters a bit like when you tip a milkpan.
The water don't get Their quite as fast as
the land. an that's what makes the tides"
N. Y. Herald.
The visit of Governor Mckinley to the
city has sent story going the rounds
which may or may not be true II is said
that during the governors recent southern
trip he strangely impressed a bel boy.
who afterward gave vent to his feelings
thus:
81 tel yo, Marse Bob, dose statesmen
Is moughty funny people An dey has
Gurus ways, te,;s yo'. Now, dar's Gin
raj Bragg Wen 1 takes a cyard up to
de ginraPs room, an de gin'ral he don't
want ter see de gen'.'man what's name
on de cyard, he JUS tars dat cyard into
flinders. an kicks me outen de room, an
says: 'Yo' - fool niggah. yo', what
yo' mean insultin' me WIZ dat cyard? YO'
think want vase my time wit dat ejut?
Yo' git down stahs, yo' black blankety
blank an tel dat man TO go to de debbi-.
But wen l takes a cyard up 10 Majah
McKinley's room, an de majah he don't
want ter see de gen." wat SEN hit
he JUS ,ook at dat cyard outen de co'neh
his eye. an den he don't touch dat cyard,
but he JUS take me-outen de corydore, an
he .ook at dat cyard once mo'-but he keep
his finger off-an' he say to me: Boy,
yo' jus take dat cyard down stahs, back
to de gen'-'man, an yo' tell him Majah
Mckinley am not in his room at dis pres
ent time An he glib me a quartah TO
luck. Oh. tell yo'. Marse Bob dat Majah
Mckinley, he moughty trooful man an
he wouldn't tel. a lie 70 nuttin', no, sah."
Commercial Gazette correspondence.