Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-04-13
PITH AND POINT.

a Street wrapper - Il >poilceman
with his billy.--Lowcll Courier.
Give some men ropo enough and
they will start junk shop.-Texas
Siftings.
Age appears to increase tho value OF
everything except women and butter.
Texas Siftings
Tho man who would have lono SO
and 80 if he had boon there mover gets
there. RAMS Horn.
Lawyor-"Aro you q single MANI"
Witness "No, sor, Oh nm twin. -
Indianapolis Journal.
No Justice of tho peace is mock
enough to object to being called Judge.
milwaukee, Journal.
No man can worry about how no
looks and keep his bank account grow
ing.-Atohison Globe.
A man can talk himself ont of Job
easier than no can talk himself into
one. -Atchison Globe.
A pin, properly inserted in vacant
chair, makes as good starting point
us the general run of boys desire.
Every time drink I've got to give
up work. So had to give it up for
good. "What-lrink ?" emo. Work"
Truth.
Strong -"Would you call Supplo's
vito handsomo?' Weak -"YcB-if 1
was talking to Supple. "-Rnymond's
Monthly.
About tho toughest thing that can
happen to man is to go contrary to
his wife's wishes, and then FAIL
Atchison Globe.
Blobbs-"W do you call your girl
silent BELIEF" SIobbs-" Because L
kissed her and she never tollod -
Philadelphia Record.
My son, observe the postage stamp
its usefulness depends upon it's
ability to stick to ono thing till it gets
there. -Elmira Gazotto.
eat last have reached tho turning
point of my life, remarked tho con-
vict whom they put him on the tread
mill. Atlanta Constitution.
Muggns-"I thought Brown was go
ing into the sugar business" Buggins
-''He intended to, but no didn't have
the sand. "-Philndelphin Record.
With cranberry sauce OH her plnafore
She climbs tho visitors knee,
And. when she climbeth down again,
His clothes nre sight to soc.
Detroit Tribune
If we should mark tho words of
every man who requests us to do 30
il would not be long before the lam
guHge of the world would all be i'll
italics. Galveston News.
''Stiggles says he doesn't caro- for
public prominence and il content to
live i'll little world of his own"
CHATS Stigglcs NIL over. Everlast-
ingly wanting the earth. "-Buflalo
Courier.
"He's great admirer of Miss Cub
leys. And he's such thin, withcred,
dried-up specimen of a man |" GIVE
noticed that when she speaks to him
he seems IL good deal-um-rattled. f"
Chicago Tribune.
Teacher" Who is tho ruler of tho
country in which we live?" Johnnie
B.-'I don't know who tho ruler of
the country is, but my pm says he's
tired of having the hired girl rule our
house the way she does.
"The death of her husband must
have been great blow to Mrs. Must
Gale" 1T was, indeed" 81 suppose
che has given up her piano playing on
tirely" "No, she still plays; but
only on the black keys. Tit Bits.
''That's beautiful coat you have
on. How much did it cost you2"
twenty-five cents" "Why, how is
that?" ooh, tho COMPOUNDED tailor
sent it home by express and / had to
pay tho charge. Texas Siftings.
Slowboy-"We have known each
other four long years, Miss Upterdato
now what would you shy if L should
ask you to marry me?" Miss Upter-
date-"The chances are that / should
he speechless. L fear that / would
drop dead. KANSAS City journal.
Employer "There is difference,
sir, of $3.50 between the amount of
money your books show TO be on hand
and the amount actually on hand.
What have you to say, sir?" EN-
ploye-'I--I'm willing to submit the
uihcToHCc W hEpltIutlOu' OhiOhbO
Tribune.
The Statesman'e Wife-"This paper
says they tax funerals in Paris" The
Statesman" Why, that's the bright
est idea 1 ever heard of. A man don't
care how many taxes you pile on him
after he is dead. At least, / guess he
don't, and if he did he can't vote. -
indianapolis Journal.
Bob Keyworth was paying attention
to rich widow up in Harlem. mad
am, f" he said, IS he offered her bou-
quet, "you are getting more and more
beautiful every day" "You eyagger-
ate, my dear sir" exclaimed the lady,
very much Aattered. "Well, then, let
us say every other day." said Bob.
Texas Siftings.
Anxious Mother--"I wish, Susan,
that when you give baby bath you
would be careful to ascertain whether
the water is Mt the proper Temporal
turen Susnn--HOh don't Won worry