davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
SIIER1FF,S SALE.

Pursuant to an execution to me di.
rected by the First Judicial District
Court of the Territory of Utah, / shall
expose at public sale at the front door
of the County courthouse in the City of
Provo, County of Utah and Territory
of Utah, on the 25tn, day of January
A. D. 1894, at the hour Of IL o'clock NJ.
all the right, title, claim and interest
of Albert f. Whipple, of, in, and to
the following described real estate to-
wit:
Situate, lying and being in section
Is, TIP. 6, s. r. 2 E., Provo City, Coun-
ty of Utah and Territory of Utah.
Commencing at the southwest corner
of the north half of the southeast quar-
ter of section thirteen (13), in township
six (6). south of range two (2l east,
Salt Lake meridian, Utah County,
Utah Territory; thence north twenty
10000 chains, thence east 10000
chains: thence south It deg. west 20.16
chains; thence west 1850 chains to
the place of beginning, containing
an area of thirtY-seven and one half |
acres.
To be sold as the property of Albert
F. Whipple, at the suit of Nathaniel /
Williams, said judgment assigned to
Implement Co. March
81, 1891, to recover the sum Of $T14.37
and interest at the rate of 8 per cent.
Der annum from the 7th day of March
89l, and the sum of $39. 40 costs of suit
md $3.50 accruing costs, ard the costs
# this sale.
Terms of sale cash.
Dated this Sd day of January, 1894.
JOHN A, BRowN.
Sheriff of Utah County.
ling & Houtz, attorneys for plaintiff.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
500 Reward. 500.

The readers of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there is at least
one dreaded disease that science has
been able to cure in all its stages and
that is Catarrah. Halls Catarrah
Cure is the only positive cure now
known to the medical fraternity.
Cstarrah being constitutional dis
ease, requires constitutional treat
ment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken
internally, acting directly upon the
blood and mucus surfaces of the sys-
tenn, therefore destroying the founda-
ton of the disease, and giving the pa
tent strength by building up the con-
stitution and assisting nature in do
ing its work. The proprletors have SO
much faith in its curative powers, that
they offer One Hundred Dollars for any
case that it fails to cure. Send for list
of Testimonials.
Address. F. J. CHENEY & CO.,
Toledo, Ohio.
8rSold by Druggists, 75c.
Notice of Dissolution of CO-partner-
ship.
Notice is hereby given that the CO.
partnership heretofore existing be-
tween S. K. King and F. E. Woods
under the firm name of King & Woods.
is hereby dissolved by mutual consent.
All accounts due or to become due to
said firm will be collected by S. K.
King and all obligations of said firm
will be paid by him.
f. E. WOODS.
5. K. KING.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02

The city treasurer is prepared to pay
registered number warrants up to and
including No. 1900.
SAVE your fences and try some of
Provo City Lumber company's, tele-
phone No. 81, kindling wood. Also
pitch pine dry wood cut to order for
any size fire place or stove.
T. e. DANIELS JR., so long and ia
vorably known as Provo's photogra-
pher, is to be found opposite the post
Office, prepared to do you irst-class
Job at 800 per dozen.
NEGLECT Of the hair often destroys
its vitality and natural hue, and causes
it to fall out. Before it is too late ap-
ply Halls Hair Remover, a sure
remedy.
Mr.. c. A. CUNNINGHAM, brother of
Mrs. o. w. Huff and Gen. Tie, agent
of the Big -Four road, is visiting his
sister and will remain in Provo for
some time.
IfYou have made up your mind to
buy Hoods Sarsaparilla, do not be per-
susded to take any other. Be sure to
get Hoods Sarsaparilla, which pos
sesses peculiar curative power.
TIE council meets tonight to turn
over the city government to the new
council. We understand the outgoing
men give an elegant banquet to the
new council tonight, after the business
has been disposed of, at DR.. Ham,
bergs elegant mansion. Doubtless the
occasion will be royal one. We trust
that both outgoing and incoming MEM
bers will have right royal time of it.
COLDS, coughs, bronchitis, and all
throat and lung diseases are effec
lively treated with Ayers Cherry
Pectoral. To neglect the use Of pro-
per remedies for these ailments. is to
induce consumption, which is said to
cause one sixth of the mortality in all
civilized countries.
We sell Parks Cough Syrup on a
positive guarantee to cure all throat
and lung troubles. It has stood the
test for many years and to-day is the
leading remedy for the cure of colds
consumption and all the diseases of the
throat and lungs. Price so cents and
tl.O0. Sold by Smoot Drug Co.
RETURNING from his dinner yester- |
day, the editor of The DISPATCH found |
81 01SB0ub So1A OF u1c oAuSbuu uOOI
which read like this: "Beatus Novus
Annus Tibi Sit" added to which were
the following names of well-known
young gentlemen of the city: Richard
Alley, Bert. Thurman, Ben. Schwab,
Dave Westwood, Herman Martin, Alex.
HedQuist Jr., Will. lice, and Brig.
Johnson. Thanks gentlemen, TIE
DISPATCH fully reciprocates the good
wishes you 80 kindly express for
happy and prosperous New Year.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
ON THE WING.

CALL at Eggertsen's tomorrow.
CUT prices on shoes Of Farrer Bros.
& Co.
ONE dollar for 70 cents at Eggert-
sens.
HONEST new goods at half price.
Shelton & Co.
SPECIAL prices on Xmas fruit at Far
Ter Bros. s. Co.
HON. John B. Miner returned from
Nephi on the first.
The 'sbeautiful'' came modestly
down all the morning.
AT this season we may look for the
mails to be little behind.
COLLECTIONS were fairly good to-
day. Might have been better, how
ever.
Two comets, one new, other soiled.
q bargain on both of them. Shelton &
Co., Provo.
To RENT:--A brick cottage with
seven rooms, close in. Inquire Gates
Furniture Company.
DIR. S. II. ALLEN. Office and resi-
dence, Smoot brick house, one block
east of tabernacle. Telephone SO.
Mr.. DAVE BAGLEY and Miss Fannie
Stillmsn Of Cottonwood were guests
of Mr.. and Mrs. Sam A King on New
Years day.
Hoods Pills cure all liver ills, bill.
iousness, jaundice, indigestion, sick
headache.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
A Most Pleasant Way

OF preventing tie grippe, colds, head.
aches, and fevers is to use the liquid
laxative remedy Syrup Of Figs, when
ever the system needs gentle, yet
effective cleansing. To be benefited
one must get the true remedy manu-
featured by the Californis Fig Syrup
Go. only. For sale by all druggists in
Doe. and d bottles.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02

ESTRAY NOTICE. nave IN my possession
IL the following described ANIMAL impound-
ed as estray, or for trespass:
One dark red steer years old, swallow fork
and under slope in left ear, no brands visi-
BILE
II damage and costs on said animal be not
paid within ten days from Gate of this
notice it will be sold to the highest cash
bidder at the Springyille estraY pound at
1894.
Dated at springville city, Utah county, ter
ritory Of Utah, this LIST day of January, 1893.
Z. J.. BIRD.
PoundkeepeH Of said city
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02

FAKE your money o Eggertsen's. Z"
Go To Daniels Brothers for your
photographs. Only 300 per dozen. =
We have it now. Send in your order
to Provo City Lumbe. company. tele-
phone No. 81, and try some of our
pitch pine dry wood ut to order.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
NEW YEAR CALLS.
The Young and the Happy
Make Glad the Town.
THE JOYOUS NEW YEAR.
serenader's Calls-Open-Hearted Hospi.
tality-Music, Song. Wine and Pretty
women-A Royal Good Time.


All Sunday night ], R. Boshard,
Harry Boshard, Herbert Pyne and w.
d. Roberts Jr. formed a pleasant sere-
nading party and at the coming of the
morning hours heralded the coming OF
the New Year. Their friends appreci-
ate their remembrance, and would
ONLY be pleased to have the opportun-
ity of welcoming them more frequently.
Come again gentlemen.
Richard Alley, Bert. Thurman, Ben.
Schwab, Dave Westwood, Herman
Martin, Alex. Hedquist Jr., Will Lee
and Brig. Johnson formed a happy
coterie of New Year callers
Yesterday. Olson's band was engaged,
together with "bus and four" from
Nelson's stables and thus equipped
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02

they visited host of their friends, left
their cards and wished them the COM
plimentS of the season. Those favored
with visit were only too glad to have
the pleasure of entertaining tn EN-, and
contributing to their enjoyment. 1t
was noon time when their New Years
pilgrimage was commenced, and at
p. 10. their journey was not completed.
The following are few of those who
received visit from the knights of
the n. Y"
Drs. Richards, Taylor and Hardy,
Reed Smoot, George Sutherland, Will
and Sam King, j. w. Pike, DR.. Pike,
Mr.. Beck, Mr.. Pemberton and Mr..
Moore, Mr., Carroll, Mr.. Sam Schwab,
Major Berry and many others. 1t was
indeed a happy New Year commence
ment for the boys, we hope it will con-
tiRue until the end.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bob Irvine chaperoned
a gay party of musicians and sweet
singers on Sunday night and Monday
morning-for the affair went on from
1920 p. m. to a. Mon a peripatetic
serenade, au pied, through the streets.
The slush and discomfort was some
thing awful but the sweet singers stood
to their work all night. The following
composed the happy band of merry
chsunters, Mr.. and Mrs. Bob Irvine,
Professors Christensen & Coleman,
Mr.. Will Irvine, Miss Venice Pike,
Miss Jennette Richards, Miss Eta
Davis and Miss Carrie Sutton.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
UTAH GENIUS.
The Glorious Little Mare Made Immortal
by Utah Art.

~-~S~NN $1,000
by Utah Art.
NEW YORK, Jan. la dinner was
given for Robert Bonner last night at
the Fifth Avenue Hotel by G. w. KEEL
logg and Peter G. Kellogg, at which a
number of the most prominent trotting
men and breeders of the county were
present. The dinner furnished the OPP
portunity for the presentation to Nh.
Bonner of the beautiful statuette of his
fast mare Sunol, which was bong ht
with the subscriptions of large num-
Der of representative breeders of trot-
ting horses for presentation to Mr.
Bonner IN token of their appreciation
of his active efforts in the encourage
ment of the breeding of the highest
forms of trotting stock. The commit
tee In charge decided that statuette
of SunOl, who holds the fastest record
of any of Mr.. Bonner's bOraes, would
be most suitable.
The statuette, which is of pure ell
YER and of exquisite workmanship, was
designed by G. E. Dailin OF Salt Lake
city, whose work attracted much atten-
ton at the Worlds fair, and repre-
sents the speedy mare hitched to an old
fashioned, high wheeled sulky and
driven by Charles Marvin. Sunol,
whose record is 20S4 is by Electioneer
out of Dame Winnie.
The testimonial was presented to Mr..
Bonner by Joseph G. Sioley, on behalf
of the subscribers, in short and grace
full speech. In responding to it Mr..
Bonner spoke feelingly of his high ap-
probation of the gift and the motives
prompting 1t. Toasts, speeches, discus.
sions of trotters and the new form Of
sulky followed and continued until q
late hour.
DR.. Prices Cream Baking Powder
Worlds Fair Highest Award.
FARRER BROS 81 Co. will not be
undersold. Call and see.
DANIELS BROTHERS will mount you
one cabinet photo on plate glass
easle and one dozen photos for 1925. 4
GET your winter supply of -four at
once at Boshard's; such prices can't
last forever.
If you want to help your poor neigh
Dor this Xmas and haven't much means,
buy him one hundred pounds of -four
at Boshard's and don't tell anyone.
DID you ever in all your life hear of
such prices on -four as are made at
Boshard's at present,
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-01-02
Ladies Investigate Our treatment.

Ladies Investigate Our Treatment.
Mrs. F., of Buffalo, N. Y, aged 81
years, suffered with painful and ir-
regular Menstruation for over years.
These epochs were preceded with VOL
emit pains in the loins and the lower
part of the stomach, severe headaches
and great nervous excitement. In these
conditions she took Dr.. DE JozA's fam
GUS prescription in the dose one cap
sule in the morning and one at night.
On the second day the menstrual flow
became regular and easy, and the
pains in the loins and stomach were
greatly reduced. The next month the
flow was abundant and produced no
pain or sickness whatever. The pa
tent now is happy mother and COM
pletely cured, Any lady who will send
us $500 for one months treatment may
be convinced of the happy results she
will derive. We give written guaran-
tee to cure any case, no matter of how
long standing, in two treatments or re-
fund money. Send all orders or in
quiries to LADY Manager, SALT
LAKE MEDICINE CO., Salt Lake
City, Utah." Lady representatives
wanted everywhere.
n. B.-A trial treatment sent on
receipt of $500.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1894-11-23
OeErrrrtdr.

Wien. 2sbtbin tpurben bier beI
pprtisr aarl MeBner uno ieins Srau
perbaftet. 9i;islbsR bdben felt Subs
rem i'm Sarie, po iie bebienItst ipds
rem. @inbriids in fGmmtlife Wobs
nun9sn init Na6I4liifeln periibt uno
Elm pa6res 0i:besmaga5in im Wert9
BON bielsn Saufenb @ulpsn angeltgt.
4ltlengbu 6. Der Wtaurerpoz
lier 4nton Somner, Der ii6 in einem
hieiigen Wirtbsbaufe betruntsn battle
purbe BON mglten 5reunoen" nit pc
trolslm bsspHen, bamit i'm. tpie iis
iagten, Der @eruh ipieoer erniihtsre.
Sommer I6pantte fobann auf eine
nabe 8ieis binaus unb legte iib ins
9ras. Sobalb er etngsI9lafen mar,
nGberts iib linn ein Mfann uno 3iin.
bets feline bon petrpieum befsuttstsn
&leibsr an. Sm 92u brdants an b:m
llngliidli6sn 2mss litbterlpb, sr fdris
aus 2sibestrdften I'M ,Silfe unb pG!3ts
iih in rdIenben Stmer5en i'm @raie.
Sisrourh sslang es ibul, bic Slam
men an ieinsm &Drper 81 erItiden. I'M
fdbig. iib gu erbsben, ba er bonn SOpi
Bis gum SUB nit 8ranopunbeR Be-
bedt mar, lag Sommer in bieTsm 3uz
itanoe bic gan5e Ra4t auf Der @ieIe
Eno ipurbe srit am folssnoen Morz
gen fortQebraat uno ms Spital iibers
fiibrt.
@ras. Sin 8sifpi.l riibrenbsr
Wlutterlisbs lieferte eine Shtpalbe in
Puntingam, tpoIelbIt Elm Stall abs
brannts. en- sinem an Der Stallosde
unqetlebten S9ipalbenneite tparsn tie
sSunaen nod nidt gang Tliigge. 8si
9(us6run bes 9ranbes ippllte has
8eib4en bic Sungen fdiiBen, febte iia
nit ausgsbreiteten Sliiseln barliber,
Inn iie por ben Slammen 5u bergen unb
barrie 10 itanDbaft aus. Wlutter uno
Sur1s fanb man in perfp9ltem 3us
itaroe i'm ReIte Dor.
Reutttf9ein. 8or benz biefis
gen &reisgeridte batten iiA bic Sags
lD6n.r &ooian, Solub uno Shrubdri
ip.gen eines Mor5es, 1psl6sn lie an
bem Edgl0bner 3emon begansen 2dtz
tell, su psranttportsn. Die @sIApprea
nen bsiabttn bic an iis geiteltenS9ulbz
fraqsn, iporauf alle brei gn9etld9te
gum Sooe our9 ben Strang perurtbeilt
ipuroen.
8rag. Sn Der StrufdnItdlt su
gdnfrab biiBen sipei Snbioiouen ptgen
eines 9sr6rs6ens ldngereStrdf6aft db,
gegtn pelfs Der 8sroudt rorIieat, bab
lie bei Der Q(ntpeIen3eit bss 8aiIers in
Reifen6srg Dor bier Sdbrtr ein 9pnas
mitzQttentat gsqen bic RpIent9ater
8ahnbriide beuIuGt,n. roour4 bie
Bride, fperiQe Stunca bepor Der 3ug
bes &aiItrs iie paiiirte, gum S9eil Ssrs
ItDrt ipuroe.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1894-11-23

= Gin gebeimntBoolfe fer
Morb lit in 8lonbeIs Sptel, 40 SIb
Compton Street, Sobo, 2onbon, psr=
iibt porben. gtm Is. September bat=
ten iib bort Elm fpanii4er Prieiter uno
Elm 25 Sabre alter SranSoie. Der iih
eugene nannte, eingemietbet. 8or Ell
nioen Sagen perI6tpdno 2ebterer, uno
bo man BON Dem priefer ni9ts bOrte,
70 ging man in bas 3immsr unb fano
bort ben YrieIter nit einem Ieioenen
SuTGentu9 an einsm Hagel aufgez
bdn9t. 2(uF Dem Slide lag Elm fpaz
Mid gsI6ris6ener 3ettel, in ipeldem
Der 8plissiinIpector gebeten tpirb, teiz
nen 2Grm su Idlagen; er, 2ouis Gacez
res aus Beru, babe iiCb felbit erbdngt,
ba er nit ieiner Samilis 8erbriebli4s
feiten aebabt babe. 9a Der 3ettel ni9t
BON bem @r6Gngten gefdrieben tporOen.
bcrIelbe auh nicht, ipie iih fpdter berz
ausitelIte, peruaner lit unb Gaceres
beiBt, fonbern @abriel 8. Ssgui unb
Weitqlieb elmer angefebenen 6amilie in
Der argentiniIden Rspublit lit, 10 bat
bic 8plisei cine 1lnterIu6ung eineelei>
tet. 9lls Der Prieiter 8uenos 9lires
berlieb, bate er einsn Grebitbrief auf
bic 2onoon C Iiper plate 8ant fir
400 eft. BEL ith uno er ipurbs f9on
auf oem S6iffe BON Sem Srdnsofen
eugene begleitet. gs ipurbe fein @elo
BEL benz 5obten ssfunben. Gr bate
auf feinen Grebit6rief 30 eft. erbalten
unb am SFreitag, iebenfals nud ieinem
Spbe, iino bic reItlichsn $40 2it. be1oz
BEN lporben.
Ser 2onboner sool 0 g il
ihe @arten bat cine ieintr RieIenz
IGlanQen duf einem sttpas uneetpDbnlia
den 0ege perlorsn. Sn einem Der &az
fige befanben iih 5tpei GrempIare Der
9pa GonItrietpr, bic eine nelln, Die ans
berc adt SUB lang. Gs mar Siittsz
rungstaa uno bic grDBere bate bic ibr
psrabrei9te Saube bereits perIdludt.
tpdbrenb Die fleinere nod nit ibrer
Mtabl3eit beIaGfti9t mar, als man bas
Reptilienbaus fir Die Na4t fdlob.
gtm nG6Iten Morgen fanb Der 8Grter
ieood nur cine Sdldnge i'm 8dfis por,
allerbines 70 aufgei6pollen, baB tein
3tpeifel beitanb, mo lire @efdbrtin ge=
bliebsn mar. Die grDBere S4lanae
bate tpabrideinlid ebenfalls bic
Saube, an pel6er Die anbers ipeiite,
gepadt unb BEL benz 9eitreben. iie 81
perI6ludsn, ben &opf Der 3tpsiten
Salange in ben S6funb befommen,
norauf Der @erf6Iudun9sproeeB ben
iibliden @erlauf nabm. Srgeno ipelds
iible 5ofgen ba6en Tih Bel Der iibrig
gcblie6enen Sdlangs nidt 9essigt.
Sm Safen BON 9 bilip :
pepille lit Der engliIGe Odmpfer Brit
bal auf ben SanO sefabren. Der Gaz
pitdn bate i'm abiitbtIi9 Itranpen laIz
fen, neil felt brsi Sagsn 6euer i'm
ShiffSraum ausgebrpden mar. bas
man ni6t lDTden permo4te. 9asShiFf
fam nit elmer ipert6rpllen 2aoung
trpdner grie9iTasr 2rauben BON 9as
trds uno mar na6 2pnbon beitimmt.
Den als6dlo auf9ebotsnsn Solbaten
uno 6eusrtpebrleuten gelana ss crit
nacb 24ItiinOiaen eroBen 2tnitrengun=
gen, oas Seuer gu unteroriidsn; Der
S6aben pirO fir bic 2aburg unO fir
bic geidGbigung bes S6iffes, bic 8oz
lien bes 2Oihens einbsgriffsn, auf
is eins bafbe Million Sranten gsidGbt.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1894-11-23

OGbenburg. Sin Sanonier ner
bier gurniIonirenben 5tpeiten gl6tbei=
lung pes Saun. 5eIoz4rt.s9feg 26
madte Ieinem 2eben burh @r9dngtn
Elm Gnbe. 5erner ipran9 Elm Mastes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-10
Companion

A very good story is going the rounds
about Jacob Tome, the millionaire bank
president, who the other day left a package
containing 500, OCO in bank notes lying on a
car seat AS is well known, his wealth,
which is estimated at several millions, was
accumulated by hard work and shrewd in
vestments. He started life on a raft and
at one time during his career was hostler
in Maryland. Some time ago, so the story
goes, 4 friend of his, who had been Il fellow
hostler in Tones early days and VINO mad
never risen above that, approached him for
the loan of $3.50 He was informed that he
could have it upon producing proper secur-
ity. The demand for security incensed Mr..
Tones hOstler friend, and turning to him
he said. why. dang it, Jake. weren't you
and 1 hostlers together?' and received the
reply, Yes, and you're a hostler still."-
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-10
THE PROPER CAPER.

Chine effects in taifeta silks find great
favor with shoppers this season.
Tan, black and silver blue are the IA
vorito shades in cloth for spring capes.
The dainty shot and striped tafctas of
the season make up very handsomely
with plain surahs.
The new spring shades in magenta are
exasperatinglv aggressive and seem to
stand aloof from association with nearly
all other colors.
Dressy supper coats are preferred by
many youthful women to the more ma
tronly tea gowns, and some of these
jackets are exceptionally elaborate.
Jet is certainly taking first place among
the new trimmings and will be used in
great profusion on hats and dresses alike.
Even the 1aces are deliberately jetted.
The newest parasols show that chiffon
has not lost any of its former prestige.
On the contrary, chiffon is everywhere
very much III evidence among the dainty
summer belongings of Ia mode.
White satin sleeves covered with black
1etted net will be seen in black and white
striped or dotted silk gowns trimmed
with jetted lace, and rich black silk gowns
decorated with white lace and insertion.
The beautiful zouave jackets still hold
their own and never seem quite to lose
their prestige. and the new and varied
shapes in which they are seen combine
the prettiest points of both new and old
with perfect fit and dainty finish.
The delicate sweet pea tints are very
fashionable in taffeta silks shot with gold
or silver Toilets are made wholly of
these silks, or they are used for half low
bodices and underskirts beneath dra-
peries of lace, net, chiffon or grenadine.
New York Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-10
Fast ENOUGH

An employee of large granite company
was driving from the station with several
kegs of blasting powder and dynamite car
tri6ges in his load and overlook q young
nan walking Without waiting for an in
vitatiOn the pedestrian sprang up into the
wagon and sat down upon one of the pow
der kegs.
He was 4 laxative young man and be
gan at once to make derogat DRY remarks
about the speed of the wagon or the lack
of it.
Were passing everything on the road, -
he said cheerily-"that is, everything that
is stationary"
Not receiving a reply, he continued, Il
was half mind to hire landslide or a
glacier just for speed, you know, but 1
guess we are doing about well.''
He silent for some time; then he
broke forth again:
Il say-stop the horse! The earth is re-
volving fast enough to get US there
Justrthen he prepared to scratch match
on the key. The driver spoke rather lazily:
If you are goin my way, this is jest as
fast it will be, but if you want to go
straight up at right angles to the road jest
light that match on that powder-an you're
there now"
The young man decided to walk.-Youth's
Companion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-04-10
tiz RsCHONGD MOI.
Uncle Billy Wanted to Gblige the Colonel
but That Was Too Much.

I was sittingin the Office of a cotton ware
house with Major Curtis in Selma, Ala,
when an old colored man came limping
along the platform, and the major called
him in and said:
Uncle Billy, 1 don't see you very often
of Late
No, sab. I'ze dun gittin slightly feeble
Gus bout r.ovin around
1--WE got about 20 of the incest little pigs
you ever saw IL pen"
HAS yo'?''
And a new lot of chickens"
''H'mp'
Lots of sweet potatoes around now. I'm
Gle Billy"
Yes. sah.''
'.And the boys just got the smokehousc
filed up the other day"
"Dey did eh?''
You are a widower yet, aren't you, IN
cle?''
YES, sah--oh, yes"
well, I've got q mighty fine looking col
ored cook now, and yoa must come down
ing
.'Majah,'' said the old man as he vigor-
ously scratched his head would dun like
to obleege you all, but I reckon 1 won't
come"
You won'ta Why, what's the matter?"
Il was down dar one night las spring to
ak yo'r man Jim to lend me two bits.
stepped right into q big b'artrap, an it
hung to me till l had to holler. Den yo'
come out to me wild u lantern an boss
w'ip, an de way yo' did tuck it onto me
beat all, honeyi l believe sunthin was said
bout piece o. meat lyin dar an bout two
chickens in a bag, if 1 dun mem Der
right didn't git outer my cabin fur bout
TO- weeks after dat episodious No, majah,
/ reckon | won't come down dar. Ize
mighty fond O. yo', 1 kin jes' taste dem
roast pigs an sweet Eaters, but de Niger
who nuts his foot into n b'artraD twice in
one var orter be dun clu bbed to death fur a
fule. v-Detroit Free Press