Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1894-04-18
IN THE ORCHARD.

day. The sun shone beyond the orchard,
and the shade was cool inside. A light
breeze stirred the bopghs Of the old ap-
pie tree under which the philosopher
sat. None of these things did the phi
losopher notice, unless it might be when
the wind blew about the leaves of the
large volume on his knees and he had
to find his place again. Then he would
exclaim against the wind, shuttle the
leaves till he got the right page and set
tie to his reading. The book was trea-
tise on ontology. 1t was written by an
other philosopher, friend of this phi
losopher. 1t bristled with fallacies, and
this philosopher was discovering them
all and noting them ON the fyleaf at the
end. He was not going to review the
book, as some might have thought from
his behavior, or even to answer it in a
work of his own. 1t was just that he
found pleasure in stripping any poor
fallacy naked and crucifying it.
Presently girl in a white frock came
into the orchard. She picked up an ap-
ple bit it and found it ripe Holding it
in her hand, she walked up to where
the philosopher sat and looked at him.
He did not stir. She took bite out of
the apple, munched it and swallowed
it. The philosopher crucifed fallacy
ON the fiyleaf. The girl flung the apple
away.
"Mr. birmingham, said she, ARE
you very busy?''
The philosopher, pencil in hand,
looked up.
''No, Miss May" said he, mot very"
Because want your opinion -
"In one moment" said the philoso-
pher apologetically.
He turned back to the fyleaf and be-
gan to nail the last fallacy little tight
er to the cross. The girl regarded him
first with amused impatience, then with
vexed frown, finally with wistful re-
gret. He was SO very old for his age,
she thought He could not be much be-
yond 80. His hair was thick and full Of
waves, his eyes bright and clear, his
complexion not yet divested of all
youths relics.
"Now, Miss May, I'm at your serv-
ice," said the philosopher, with lin
gering look at his impaled fallacy. And
he closed the book, keeping it, however,
on his knee.
The girl sat down just opposite to
him.
''It's very important thing I want
to ask you," she began, tugging at a
tuft of grass, "and it's very-difficult,
and you mustn't tell any one asked
you-at least, I'd rather you didn' -
ST shall not speak of it-indeed I
shall probably not remember it" said
the philosopher.
"And you mustn't look at me, please,
while I'm asking you.
81 don't think was looking at you,
but if was beg your pardon, % said
the philosopher apologetically.
She pulled the tuft of grass right out
of the ground and flung it from her
with all her force.
Suppose man''-she began. ''No,
that's not right"
''You can take any hypothesis you
please" observed the philosopher, "but
you must verify it afterward, of course. !"
ooh, do let me go on! Suppose girl,
| Mr.. Jerningham-I wish you wouldn t
nod
cit was only to show that 1 followed
you.'
ooh, of course you follow me, as
you call it. Suppose girl had two low
ers-you're nodding again!-or ought
to say suppose there were two men who
might be in love with girl -
"Only two?" asked the philosopher.
"You see, any number of men might
be in love with'-
''Oh, we can leave the rest out" said
Miss May, with sudden dimple-
'they don't matter -
Every WELL" said the philosopher,
"if they are irrelevant, we will put
them aside
Suppose, then, that one of these
men was, oh, awfully in love with the
girl and-and proposed, you know'-
ga momentp' said the philosopher,
opening notebook "Let me take
down his proposition. What was it?"
''Why, proposed to her-asked her to
marry him, :" said the girl, with stare.
Dear me, how stupid Of me! forgot
that special use of the word. Yes?"
| AhO gil 1lhOS ulIu pittUy WSli, ttuu
her people approve Of him and all that,
you know" ...
'That simplifes the problem, " said
the philosopher, nodding again.
''But she's not in-in love with him,
you know. She doesn't really care for
him-much. Do you understand?''
Perfectly. 1t is most natural state
of mind" ="
''Well, then, suppose that there's an
other man-what are you writing?'
''I only put down B)-like that, :"
pleaded the philosopher, meekly exhib-
iting his notebook.
She looked at him i'll sort of help
less evaporation, with just smile some
where in the background Of it.
ooh, you really are''- she exclaimed.
"But let me go on. The other man is a
friend of the girls. He's very clever
oh, fearfully clever, and he's rather
handsome. You needn't put that down. I"
''It is certainly not very material, :"
admitted the philosopher, and he crossed
out Handsome E" ''Clever" he left
"And the girl is most awfully---she
admires him tremendously. She thinks
him just the greatest man that ever
lived, you know, and she-she"- The
girl paused.
'I'm following" said the philoso-
pher, with pencil poised
''She'd think it better than the whole
world if-if she could be anything to
him, you know"
"You mean become his wife?''
"Well, of course I do-at least, sup
pose do
"You spoke rather vaguely, You
know"
The girl cast one glance at the phi
losopher as she replied:
"Well, yes, I did mean become his
wife"
"Yes. Well?''
"But," continued the girl, starting
on another tuft of grass, ''he doesn' t
think much about those things He likes
her-I think he likes herr
"Well, doesn't dislike her?'' suggest
ed the philosopher. "Shall we call him
Indifferent"
81 don't know. Yes, rather indiffer-
ent. I don't think he thinks about it,,
Won know RUt Sha-She'S DrettV-yOu