Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1894-12-27
ms NAME VAS SAMSON.
A Rare Sort of Crank Who Visits the
Washington Monument.

Washington Monument.
Washington Post.
Washington is the Mecca of cranks and
the monument seems to be their principal
shrine. Even the White House is not as
attractive to them as the great white
shaft, which from its vantage point on
the Potomac Flats plays billiards with
the clouds. 1t can be seen for miles
around and seems TO attract cranks as
candles do moths. The watchmen have
become accustomed to this gentry, and
so long as they appear to be quiet and
well disposed usually deal gently with
them however wild their ideas. One
man they tell of declared that the monu-
ment was built of human skulls and
bones are persisted in pointing out the
faces OF friends in the stones; but perhaps
the oldest specimen on record happened
down there the other day.
When the watchman first observed
him he was leaning heavily against the
shaft, apparently pushing with all hi;
might. At least he would push for
awhile and then he would walk around
to the other side apparently to see il
there were any people there.
The Waterman watched this proceed
ing for awhile and then accosted him:
beg pardon; you arn't going to push
it over, are your"
81 could ii l wanted to-" responded
the man. Then, with immense dignity,
"My name is Samson"
"Oh, the strong man?h ventnred the
Waterman, sizing up the man, who was
about feet and apparently not very
muscular. "llet me see, you were down
at kernan's Theatre few weeks age
weren't you?"
mo SIR replied the man sternly. 81
am the reincarnated Samson of Biblical
times; the one who overthrow the Philis-
tines, staying thousands with the jaw.
bone of an ass, and afterward pulling
down the pillars Of the temple. Why, il
would be mere chi!d's play for me to
upset this puny monument
swell, ii wouldn't do it if were you, =
expostulated the Waterman, mildly,
you see this is in memory of Washing
ton; probably you have never heard OF
him, as he was little after your time,
but We moderus think a good deal of him.
Then it cost the government good deal
OF money and took good many years
to build this monument, and n good
many people would considerit unkind Of
you todestroy it. Take me, for instance.
| am hired to watch it, and of course
you would throw me out of job.
Besides you might hurt somebody"
mo, | was very careful to look on the
other side first" said the man. "But
perhaps you think can't do it? Now
you just look up and see me shake it,"
The Waterman was agreeable. Now
it is fact when one stands directly at
the base OF the monument it appears to
be topping over. This is, OF course, an
optical delusion caused by the clouds
moving overhead, but it impressed the
crank with his power.
"Did you see me shake it," he inquired
triumphantiy.
"Ies," responded the watchman sol
EMMY "but wouldn't do SO any more.
You might weaken the foundations even
if you didn't push it over. Besides, here
comes crowd OF people, and not know
ing who you are tEeymight laugh at you.
Then You would have to push it over to
prove it to them"
That's SO" said the crank, and bidding
the Waterman good day" he departed
and has not been seen about the monu-
ment since.