The record-union., 1894-01-20

cheaper materials and wearing modi-
cum or jewelry, as you do when arrayed
in the costliest of Stuf1s made in the often
preposterous style of fashion and loaded
down with gems; and the amounts which
would be saved from the cost of your
costumes would furnish you many COM
forts which many Of you are deprived Of
now"
He waved his wand, but to his horror
be felt the influence of common-sense
coming back into himself, instead of GO
ing out toward his hearers.
he struggled against it manfully, but
he heard a confused murmur OF voices
and questions from various quarters,
which he tried to answer. Have you a
wife?" asked one. No." he answered
family, "but | hope to have some time"
Have you ever been married ?' asked
another. No" he answered with very
weak voice. ''What can YOU know about
woman's dress? | should like to inquire" ="
came from another. 81 have seen 1t" he
family uttered. did you ever wear a
corset ?' asked one; "Or trail dress =,
asked another; "Or hoop-skirt" asked
third. "What do you think you can
teach US about woman's dress, when you
never wore it?" came from a host OF
voices. He was nearly asleep by this
time with the hypnotiZing influence, but
make him wear it ~ LET us rig him up!
''Let us teach him what woman's dress
Is, so that he will be more competent TO
lecture to women next time"
He was completely hypnotized. but he
did not lose consciousness. He knew he
was under the control of the magical in
tluence and powerless to resist whatever
he was told to do.
Have the boys arrived ?" was asked
him. He did not comprehend, but just
then the door opened and two urchins
appeared bearing bulky packages.
1.-The boys are here" he answered.
1--WE have sent you dress which you
have never worn, but which you presume
to lecture US about, and we insist that you
put it on, and some Of us intend to call on
it'' E0@ presently to see no" y0" appear IN
His lecture-room was large, but. as his
audience was all over the United States
listening through telephones, he was
alone; and, under the compelling in
tluence, he arrayed himself in the clothes
sent to him, which proved to be a trail
dress of rich material, with cOrSetS and
skirts and high-heeled shoes and bon
net or hat Qadies know which, but l
don't.
Presently he was asked, "Are you
ready to receive callers?r Against his
through him, he answered, "All ready"
Soon bevy of ladies came in and took
possession of his platform and his tele
phone, and paraded him up and down
amid peals of laughter, calling through
the telephone: "Oh, you just ought to
see him once! Of all ridiculous objects,
he is the most ridiculous. If we look as
bad as he does in that kind of dress, we
don't wonder he wanted to reform us''
and screams of laughter made all the
others wish they could be there to see.
(The fact was, ladies do look just as bad
as he did, only they don't know it. When
his back was turned no one could tell
whether he was man or woman.)
The poor victim was nearly dead from
chagrin; but still he felt kind of pleas
urable sensation from being poked and
pulled about by so much happy feminine
beauty. | suppose he felt some as a devil
would if caught by a band of angels, and
pulled about and examined out of Curl
osity.
After the ladies had amused themselves
to their complete satisfaction, they es-
corted him to his hotel, still in the same
dress. The landlord met him at the door
and saw at once that something was the
matter with him, and asked, with much
solicitation as to his sanity-for he re-
spected him highly-what has happened?
oh" he answered, with as careless an
air as he could assume, 81 have been Civ
ing an illustrated lecture Take me to
my room and send me my clothes, SO that
l can get these uncomfortable duds off,"
He went to bed, but he never got up.
The landlord sent for the best physi-
clans, but science seemed to be at fault for
once. He dwindled and declined rapidly;
nothing could rouse him; in a week be
was dead.
The matter was hushed up, and the