Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-03-09
HUSBAND AND WIFE.

HUSBAND AND WIFE,.
MRS. HENRYWARD BEEcHER DISCUSS
Es THE QUESTION OF SUPREMACY.
Neither Should Rule Alone-The Wife's
Love and Confidence and the husband
Manliness and Courtesy the Best Safe
euards-True Meaning of Marriage.
We have seen and heard this question
often discussed. Some say that "as the
wife has all the care and responsibility in.
managing the household she should be the
ruling power" Others claim that stas the
husband is usually the breadwinner and
earns what his wife spends for the family
needs he should have the deciding voice
in all matters of importance-he should
govern"
word. It should never be seen in word or
act-never enter the heart between man
and wife. No woman can be as happy as
God intended marriage should make her
if her husbands love is chiefly manifested
by his disposition to govern. Few women,
however loving and self sacrificing, if en-
dowed with good sense and judgment, ever
yield their own preconceived ideas and
theories to their husbands judgment and
dictation. A man would despise a WON
an who did. It would strengthen the
bond between them to discuss the matter
if the union is SO strong between them
that they can do so-in a pleasant and
loving way. But wives sometimes, after
a few years, do unfortunately learn that
it tends to more harmony to refrain from
arguing or discussion, even when their
OWE convictions have not changed. 1t is
a great pity that such reticence should
ever be found the wisest way.
In a copartnership concern, which the
marriage relation certainly is, there may
be two heads or two governing powers,
the husband having control over his de-
partment, the workshop; the wife hers,
the home.
But in order that the home shall not be-
come divided against itself let there be
frequent meetings for consultation and ad-
vice, and where is brought the intuition
which is a part of the woman's nature to
assist the sound, common sense which
should belong to the man.
But a loving wife finds it.no cross to al
low her husband SO to shape her life as
will best meet his tastes and wishes, pro-
vided always that he does not lead her
aside from her conscientious conviction of
duty. She should always bear in mind
that although she is his wife she is none
the less a responsible being; that she, and
not her husband, at the last day must
stand or fall according to what she has
done with the talents intrusted to herself
alone and not to her husband.
The best and purest elements of a wom-
ans character can never be so thoroughly
developed as by the love, confidence and
tenderness of her husband. Giving this
with manly, loving courtesy, he will find
a rich reward in such joy and comfort as
only a happy woman's thoughtful care can
bring.
But if a husband determines that his
will shall be the controlling motive for
full to a home thus governedl This course
by his s'rightful authority as lead of the
house." That way of defining his actions
sounds better. Nevertheless those four let
ters-w-i1l-better express his real mean
ing.
A spirit of compromise should govern
the home. A determination in each to have
his or her own way, even though carried
out in a quiet manner, will inevitab bly, re-
| suit in no peace. In all matters of right
and justice let the principles of each be
founded on a rock. In all matters Of un-
Importance be yielding, one to the other.
1t is just this assumption of rule, Or
dominant power, that robs SO many homes
of the perfection that should be hardly
one step removed from the glory and per-
lection of heavenly life.
If all could realize the difference be-
tween the service the wife renders to III
thority and that poured out increasingly
and spontaneously for love alone, what a
change there would be in many homes!
No duty can then be thought hard, no toll
oppressive. Her whole life is ~joyfully
| given for the comfort of him whose every
word and act tells her she is most precious
in his sight-not simply valued because
she is convenient, out truly beloved and
held in all honor in his heart.
Her husbands love thus manifested,
he will be her tower of strength strong
fortress-so to protect and shield her that
all trials will have lost their sting.
A man has no faith in real love who is
too proud to give it expression himself. A
woman's heart longs for words as well as
acts. Because in the time of wooing she
is told that she is beloved must that suffice
for a lifetime? o
A home governed by such gentle influ-
ences is, when compared to q home gov
erned by mans authority, as different as
a person is to a machine-one is life, the
other only mechanism. A governed
wife may have bread just as light and a
home just as tidy as one guided, not gov
erned. The wife guided by respect and
gentleness will fill the house with bright
ness, joy and devotion, such as the gov
erned wife cannot even counterfeit, be
cause her happiness shines through every