The Portland daily press., 1894-08-06

Thing over Again.
''If thas any law that's worth durn,
then I'm gointer sock it on to Joe Plum
an make him SWEAT said Wayback
George Simpson at Geeville, in the hem
lock belt. There are two George Simpsons
in that neighborhood, SO they call one
Wayback George because he lives eight
miles back in the hills, and the other
Handy-by George because he lives only
three miles down the creek. This is SO
they won't mix the two Georges up.
II s'pose We herd about the circus that
showed over to town last week." said
Wayback George. "First circus that's
been anyways nigh this deestric' in five
year. Last one that come along me an
The old woman got free tickets for lettin
the Snowman stick some pictur's on our
cowshed door, an we was feelin toll able
good over this one too, for tina wasn't no
doubt but what they'd want to use that
COW shed door agin fer pictur's. Sure
enough, they drove into our place, jist
ahead O. the big thunderstorm that sloshed
things around in the deestric so permiscu-
Gus. asst EN- into the house, an we signed
for the barn door ag'in. made an all
fired good bargain with 'em, fer they
nibals an the pig that plays keerds Jest
ez they was signing fer the tickets a piece
O. light busted right over the farm an
swooped down onto that COW shed. In less
time than 1 kin tell we that shed was blaz-
in, an ther wasnt no door left fer to put
the pictur's on. Course that ended the
deal, an felt sorry fer the ole woman, fer
she had set her heart on goin to the show,
she fnnE on, oyuf11l how,
nothin left o. the shed to paste show pic
tur' on. Some folks mowt "a thought that
Sairy ID "a felt worse over the COW bein
killed in the shed by the lightnin than
over the wipin off o. the face O. the earth
of a by slab door, but setch folks hain't
acquainted with Sairy's yearnin's.
Cows hain't skeerce, said Sairy, but
I'll bate tina won't be another circus with
in 100 miles o. this deestric in 40 year!'
sho says, specially one with a keerd
playing pig an man eatin cannibal,' she
says.
well, that ightnin made me an the
ole woman goin to the circus look leetle
out O. the question, an things was gloomy
about my cleerin. Sol Parker owed me
considerable ON chopin job, but Sol had
run poorly well to emptyin's on cash, an
tina wasn't much show for my ever gittin
any from him, but Sairy had an idee.
'''You go over to Sol Parker's, she
says, an tell him that We hate to poster
him, cause ye know he's a leetle close to
the wind but that that's circ11s comm.
an sumpin must be did, Tell him, saws
Sairy, that yell take that ole sheep O.
his'n all call it square, says she. Them
show folks has got to hev meat fer their
animals, says she You kin trade 'em
that sheep fer tickets fer the show, saws
Sairy
81 went over to Sol,s. an he wasn't no
ways slow in takin me I'D, for 1 don't
s'pose he could "a got more'n seven shillin
for his old eve. I druv the sheep home.
an things cheered I'D the powerfulest kind.
'sJoe Plum lives Jest beyend me. an he
never had no COW shed nor nothin else that
anybody could stick show pictur' on, an
SO when he heard that / was speetin to
hire my shed door fer tickets to the show
he was lnadder'n a snake. cause he didn't
hev no kind O. chance O. gettin there his
self When he heerd that nv shed was
eat up by lightnin, an that the deal for
tickets was off, Joe come over a-grinnin
meaner'n hyeny.
ESQ ye've changed yer mind bout goin
to the show, hev yep says He to me. TITS
goin ter be hummer, they tell me- says
he
81 didn't say much to Joe, fer I know'd
he couldn't go nuther an that was some
consolation, fer if he'd ben a-goin I think
I'd had to jump on him right there an
thump him so he couldn't "a got out fer
month. made big mistake not a-doin
it, tell ye!
'Well, when got SOILS sheep, an Joe
Plum heerd what I were calc'latin to do
with it, he got madder'n he was afore an
come over an said he had his idee o. folks
that trade off an inherent sheep fer lions
an taggers to eat, Jest to git in an see a
circus that wasn't goin ter mount to
much anyhow An I laughed at joe an
twitted him cause he couldn't go to the
show, an asst him how much of his clearin
he'd give to be me an Sairy on show day.
Joe was all but crazy, an I most felt sorry
fer him to think what we was goin ter see
an he was goin ter miss.
The mornin fore show day went to
take look at the sheep, an the sheep was
gone! A bar had come down outen the
woods, killed my sheep an eat the most
of it right on the premises without nv