The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1894-06-09
HOUGHTON'S SCHEME.


Why 1t did not get into the
papers at the time, and, by force OF its
intrinsic sermon, settle at last into mod.
ern ciassicism. will DO sufficiently obvi.
Gus to tho reflective reader. Far DO It
from me 10 turn a retrospective search
light into tina. dim period and place,
for the lesson itself is not affected by
tho names Of tho persons who ilustra,-
ed it, and such Of them Us still live have
feelings. The names ehall use, there.
fore, are expedient merely, although
they closely resemble those they mask.
Harrisburg is on Cranes run, which is
tributary TO Bride creek, which terml-
natesIn JohustOn's Fork, which empties
into the great Missouri, which loses its
name in the Mississippi. am thus
minute for reasons which are really OF
no importance to the reader. In spite
oil Its name, Bardsburg was not poetic,
except In respec, OF the sylvan breath
lnSs Of the uuketDpt hills aud OF the
spar kle OF inurmuring brooklcts amid
all OF which it sat like c jewel in a
crown.
The people Of harrisburg were not cs.
sentially different from all other people,
but their SUN total OF personality was
more or less peculiar, which is true OF
allvlllages. Why is this iniallibly thus,
gentle reader? II is worth your while
to attempt solution OF the problem.
The dis:inctiyeness OF this towns popu-
lar spirit depended upon the consan-
gulne relationship OF all its inhabitants
this, conioiued with other influences.
There were only 200 souls by courtesy.
Each family was, oil courie, cyclopedic
with reference to the private affairs OF
every other family, and each member OF
each family could. upon occasion, shake
the closet skeleton OF any other family
in town.
James lloughton was the village
teacher. lie was n young man with a
reCedinS forehead and q reCeding chin
and good morals. He was peculiarly tall
and selt-obsetv,nt, and he liked 10 DO
spectacular things.
Il was natural enough for him 10 fall
in love with Amy Stillman, who was his
fourth cousin, and who went TO school
lust for the fun OF IT," She belonged
to that class which embraces sweet, in
contradistinction 10 superior girls. This
M AIDE it possible for her 20 tolerate his
advances. which, in fact, she did.
Shall che be blamed il there was n
(theoreticl trace OF cxpedieucy in her
acceptance OF the situation, remember
ing that she was ninetceuyears old, and
might never get, another beau With ulti-
mate intentions? Anyhow, she took
his methodic orertures with fascinating
grace and turned TO his gush-bursts o
hospitable ear.
Pressure OF the inevitable daily
gained emphasis till, a: last. on one
bleak Friday evening James proposed.
She rewarded his nower.Lecked pop"
with contingent YES" contingent be-
cause being dutiful girl she would not
take such serious step without con-
sultins her parents.
Her father was stern man and one
who had social views" James lacked
many points OF scoring up TO his ideal
son-in-law and SO he said Mono"
with an iniammatory exclamation
point to it
When Amy broke the dreadful news
to James, ne absolutely snorted with
disappointment and Indignation, and
vowed seething vow that he would
marry Amy yet, and anyhow. This
affair being OF such a sacred and secret
nature. it was iull hour before every
body in town knew all about il. Each
citizen went to Stillman and congrstu-
lated him upon his wisdom and firm
ness. aud then went 10 IIouEhton and
coudoled with him. eagerly agreeing
that Stillman was much tho meanest
man in the village.
James fell to pondering. and soon con-
ceived scheme which was full OF pyro-
technic effects and which would hum.
bic Suliman into mute abasemcnt and
make him plead for an instant consum.
nation OF the marriage. The Gullest
pupil in school could see that large
idea was distending the teachers sys.
TEN. Amy tremblcd and wondered and
sighed.
James went to prayer meeting as
usual on wednesday evening. After
services were through the leader an.
nounesd that Brother Hou2hton had
come remarks TO make.
4 tremendous influx OF silence follow
ed this announcement, Tor hagga-d
suspense was abou. to be relieved.
James arose and said: "My dear sis
tiers and brethren, on Friday next at
1 p. M, every legal vote, OF harrisburg
is requested to come to the schoolhouse
to OK press his opinion through his vote
IS to who is the meaueat man in our
community. No seli.respeoting voter
can afford 10 stay away. 1t is the pur-
pose to settle in this authoritative man
ner question which is very important,
but which is moro or less lodged in GER
tain circles. The vote will be by
ballot"
4 low buzz followed this little speech.
It was gaining rapidly in volume when
Stillman raped to order and said:
THE scheme Of brother Houghton is an
excellent one. Il is good that certain
persons should be made known in ex-
actly what esteem they are held By the
people among whom they move.
hope every voter will respond TO our
young brothers call.
a triumphant smile illumined Still.
mans countenauce as he finished his
remarks. It found q counterpart on
the face OF Houghton.
Not only every voter but every in
habitan. OF harrisburg. was at the
school house ut the appointed tine.
Feeling was running high-nlgher than
ever before in Bardsburs. The excite
ment OF q presidential! election was as
nothing compared 10 that attending
this strange one. There had been no
end Of lOg-rolling, wlre-pulling and all
that. Every voter bad seen laoored
With By every other voter and By every
uon.roter. Whatever promises had