Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1894-11-01
FARMER srEnR,Ss ar FoorBAIL.



While walkin up the village street,
aiightin there see
Some twenty fellers, more or less, as fierce
as fierce could be!
Twas in medder nigh to where the col
lege late was built,
An not proper place for blood to be
unduly split
So, very peaceable inclined, an apays
actin thus,
/ thought, I'M try what may be done to
regulate the fuss"
My goodness, how them fellers fit they'd
punch each othef there
Like hungry cattle when the frost is nib
bin through the air
An one would pick up somethin' quick,
an run off. fit to kill
With several Others chasin' him, us chick
ems sometimes will
Then if he on his stomach fell, there right
in his distress
They'd pounce upon him, hard an square,
dozen, more or less.
An when my eyes untangled 'em, an
glanced EN- through an DER,
To my surprise found I'd seen full half
of EN- before!
Young Caleb Stubbs, who once was raised
across the road from me,
But | had never thought, before, would
hurt an ailin' flea:
An Joseph Mnks, who's al'ays fit when
e'er he had Il chance,
Was now rs gay an much to home as
Frenchmen at dance;
An Thomas TUFTS, who's bein' taught so
he himself can teach;
An Samuel Strapp, who's trainin' SOS to
have call TO preach:
An Peter Pills, who'll some day strive to
cure tine world, no doubt,
Was striyin' hard, apparently, to kill an
wipe EN- out;
An several others all appeared to do what
death they could.
From whom I'd al'ays looked for things
thousan' times as good
AM what still deeper troubled me, a lot o.
folks near by
Didn't seem to care to hold 'em back, an
wouldn't even try.
But sort q toiled to help it on, an make a
iightin' din;
An even girls would grit their teeth an
holler, Boys. go inn
An then says, "'fhem fellers all appear
in Deaths employ;
If there's AN undertaken here he's she'd
din tears of JOY"
An terrified at what they'd done, an
what they meant to do.
| struggled hard to recollect Riot Act or
two:
But naught appeared that could reach on
Memory's cluttered shelf,
| An so ! had, as one might say, to make
one up myself.
wildly rushed into their midst, an yelled
with ali my might
''See here, now, boys, this school wasn't
built to teach you how to fight !"
| But still they all kept on their way, as
| fierce as fierce could be,
An none OF them was blessed with sense
to listen unto me-
| But while | still upheld the right, i'll words
! wont repeat,
Tn apparent cause of all their fuss rolled
plump betwiNt my feet
| An then such bulletin amidst the angry
waves of strife
| never yet had come across in all nv
earthly life!
I've sportcd in skatin'-rink, an help to
dust the floor;
Eve served as drift-wood in the waves of
Jerseys stormy shore;
| I've Glutched Il tall tObOggan slide, the while
my cheek did blanch,
Then, lettin' go, reluctantly become an
| avalanche;
I've entered cars on Brooklyn bridge 'twixt
five an six O'Clock;
But these was only zephyr breaths beside
an earthquake shockl
They iumbled me, they tumbled me, some
several fellers deep.
Until give up every sense an feebly fell
asleep;
An when woke, and mildly asked if all
my bones was there.
No one contiguous seemed to know, OF
specially to care;
But several fellers, with their face all
black an blue an red,
Jumped up an down, a.wavin' hans, an
shoutin', Were ahead p
"Now who's ahead?n says /, when | q
listenin' ear could find;
"Whoever It's here's one old fool that's
several rods behind
Why are you studyin carnage here-Shai
is this all about?"
An then they hollered, "Football Dad
we've gone and cleaned 'em uutl .
Whereat ! says, IF this is what YOU call /,
friendly game
Heaven shield me from your courtesies
IN help me dodge the samel"
Then everybody laughed am iolzed, re
joicin' in the crimes,
An said, "Old man, the trouble is vou'r,
way behind the times ~
An then ! said '.All right I'll keer
behind 'em, if you please;
Hind anything, to shield me from sucl
COINS on as these;
An when Pm anxious suddenly from thi,
world TO escape,
I'll 20 an dance on dynamite. an do it IL,
in shapep'
-Hayper's Maaastne for November.
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