The Washington times., 1894-04-01
The Father
and His Boy.

Robert J. Burdette in Ladies' Homo Journall
"what shall be the attitude Of father
toward his boy?" All, me, woe is the over
confident man who shall attempt to settle
that question, once and forever. for the mil
millions apiece, but millions In the aggre-
gate-as many minds as there are fathers,
and as many changing theories as there are
fathers and boys together. II some man,
wiser, or at least more practical In the appli-
cation OF his wisdom, than Solomon would
only come along and whitewash the path for
US, SO that we might walk In q straight way
in the darkest night, how glad-and we'll
nigh had the thoughtless pen written "grate-
ful'-would we be. How glad and ungrate-
full, then, we would be. That sounds harsh,
but 1t Is the truth.
There is certain attitude which tho father
has assumed for him, in his boys eyes, over
which he has little control. President Wes-
ton says in one of his matchless sermons
the quotation made from memory is tamely
done-that to the child in early years the
father occupies the position of God; the boy
comes to the father for everything, confidently
asking impossibilities; asking with all SIM
plicity and perfect trust for gifts that would
impoverish an emperor; looking to his father
for daily food, raiment, and protection; fear
ing no harm while he holds his fathers hand;
accepting as truth every statement made by
him; in all respects bearing himself toward
his father In trust, confidence loyalty, and
reverence, as we try to stand in our relation
to God.
Now, every man who knows anything
about boys knows this to be true. The father
is the boys ideal OF faultless and splendid
manhood. He believes his father to be a little
bit wiser, somewhat stronger, rather better
looking, much better, and far more learned
and truthful than other men. He goes to
school and confronts his teacher on some dis
puted passage with a triumphant my father
says the book is wrong" and down go the
teacher and author in the confusion OF ex-
posed ignorance. MY father says so" proves
anything for the loving boy. The father
does not assume this attitude. The boy
makes OF him this ideal. Is the man, know
ing his own poor requirements, his narrow
limitations, his faulty character, and imper-
feet life to foster this ideal? There comes
day when the child, wise or foolish, knows
his own father. Let the man then be honest
with his boy. Let the boy understand that
his father has not forgotten the days OF his
own youth. Let the boy feel that his father
wants to be his close companion and friend
as well as his counselor and guardian.
Don't be hypocrite before your boy.
When he believes you to be infallible don't
encourage the belief Take him into your
life as you desire to be taken into his. Don't
tell him that when you were n boy you never
gave your parents O moments uneasineSS,
was never cross to your little sister, never
disobeyed your teacher. never cruel to dumb
animals, and always kept the Golden Rule.
Re. hOp wifi m nj al
be too dignified with him. The more he loves
you, the more he lives in your arms, the more
he plays with you and the less he fears you,
the more profoundly will he respect you.
Pity the man who, in order to secure and
retain proper respect from his children, has
to wear at all times an uncomfortable veneer
OF artificial dignity.
You want him to be man-it doesn't make
so much difference whether he is a gentle
man. so-called or not. But man is man
the world over. Imagine Pilate leading the
man of Nazareth, thorn-crowned and robed
in purple mockery, before the people. crying,
"Behold the gentleman Fancy the 1.-TWO
men in white apparel saying to the men who
were to revolutionize government. and re-
Iigion, and conduct, all over this whole
world, ''Ye gentlemen of Galilee. why stand
We gazing up into heaven?" Your boy shall
be man. and the model of his life you will
Testament. Meekness of spirit, noble aspira-
tions, merciful disposition, gentleness.
purity of heart, cleanliness of thought, ehas-
tity, right conduct. moderation in speech,
generosity, magnanimity. forgiveness Of
wrongs, modesty, loyalty to duty, charity in
judgment, practical wisdom-all these he will
find in the Sermon on the Mount. All the
cardinal principles, the sure foundations
upon which pure. true manhood is builded,
he will find in the teachings and the model
Of the New Testament. There is no other
standard, no other model of faultless man
hood.
"To what extent should license be given
the boy in all matters mental and moral?"
Well, about as much license as it has been
found safe to give the human race in general.
Aristotle, who knew some things as we'll as
others, if not better, says somewhere. "Now,
the youthful in character are prone to desire
and inclined to do anything they may have
set their hearts upon" Be it far from the
light-minded writer of this paper to make
any attempt to improve UPON Aristotle, but
an amendment might be offered right here to
the effect that there are some very stubborn
old men in this world: and some aged people
of both sexes who '.are inclined to do any,
thing they may have set their hearts upon"
Liberty or, If you prefer. license, i'll too broad
measure is good neither for man nor boy un-
wide freedom within certain limits, under
certain restrictions; the freedom, if you please,
of the Garden of Eden "Of every tree of the
garden thou mayest freely eat, but Of the
tree of the knowledge of good and evil thou
shalt not eat" Don't make too many rules for
him; make them the general principles of the
ten commandments. It's terrible to be peited
with fusilade Of "don'ts'' all day. Sometimes
the boy wouldn't think of doing certain
things If you didn't remind him that he
mustn't.
Jack, run right over to the post office with
this letter and come straight home"
.'Yes, father.''
"And mind you don't go around by Pyle's
mill where the Gladwyne boys are swimming,
and don't 80 around behind Fishers barn
where the boys are playing ball.
.'No, father"
And if Jack doesn't go to the mill and the
barn it is because his obedience is far supe-
rior to his fathers good sense. We multiply
rules and commandments beyond the memory
of a catalogue which we expect a boy to re-
member after we have forgotten them.
God wrote only ten commandments for a na-
ton of grown-up people to obey, and they
broke about half of them before they were
promulgated and went on forgetting the re-
mainder all the rest OF the time. Ii some of
our modern fathers and mothers had written
the Decalogue for their children it would
have been written in ten chapters each of
hundred paragraphs; every paragraph would
have begun with don't" and every don't
would have had an exclamation point after it.
A boy leaves home in the morning purdened
with more injunctions than railroad fight
ing for crossing, and naturally he forgets
half of them before he gets to school and the
other half before the first forbidden game is
played through. 1t isn't well to make a rule