The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-08-29
CIRCUMSTANCES.

The king of circumstances was feeling
decidedly cheerful. He had just heard
something that pleased him immensely.
He had sent legion of Circumstances
against q certain man who had, before
that, been certain of success, and the man,
after desperate struggle, had capitulated
to the legion by dying abjectly.
So the king of Circumstances smiled
and said to one of his Circumstances:
1.-THE king desires to be amused Let
there be gamesl"
BY the time the royal procession reached
the Coliseum everything was in readiness.
The crowd was enormous, for the fame
of the kings exceeding cheerfulness had
spread quickly, and his subjects knew that
there would be some particularly fascinat-
ing games that day.
''Now, then," began the king, a little
impatiently, as soon as he had settled him
self on the divan in the royal box, what
comes firstP"
1t was the custom in the Coliseum to
announce the programme by the mouth
of Circumstance whom they called the
chairman. The chairman had an accent
that belonged to the English music hall,
but that also is merely circumstance.
"Hi ave to announce, lydies and gen.
tlemen, that Hive been harsked by the
we'll known Champion Circumstance to
Tissue q challenge to hany man wot
wishes to meet i'm in O foot ring. Ro-
man rules to prevail. Thumbs down,
hand the whipped man parsses hout
Thumbs up, hand he goes free. Walk up
walk upi Does hany one wish to meet the
championf"
First of all, from far door, issued a
most beautiful girl, slim, tall and CARRIED
most delightfully."-. There were huge puffs
In her sleeves that made her hands look
all the smaller. Her gown widened little
where 1t came close to her feet, and thus
1t was that the slenderness of her waist
seemed more symmetrical than symmetry
itself; her curls were flying into the breeze
little under her large, be1owered hat
her shoes were brown, and her step was as
buoyant as the spring. She was singing
something so softly that the crowd only
caught the faintest echo of it.
And while she was advancing thus,
singing, another door opened, and Cupid
came forth No sooner had he seen her
than he took aim and sent an arrow
straight at her heart As the shaft
wounded her, the girl turned her eyes soft
ly toward the boy and moaned. She put
her hands to her heart. But the strange
thing was that she held the arrow fast and
made no effort to pull 1t forth So, when
Cupid saw that he had wounded her and
that she was glad, he began to run toward
her to kiss her, and she, with one hand
still clasping the arrow SO that it went
deeper and deeper into her heart, waited
for him with parted lips and an invitation
in her eyes.
The boy was within few yards Of her
when a third door opened and there ap
peared a Circumstance. Immediately a
most strange change came over tho girl.
Her eyes turned toward the Circumstance,
and a steely look came into them. She
drew herself up little, and stern pur-
pose Strengthened her mouth
Cupid, wondering and panied, stopped
short. She turned away from him, and
walked toward the Circumstance, who
merely stood quite still, smiling hideous-
ly. AS she went, she tore the arrow Of
Cupid from her heart and threw 1t before
her into the sawdust, so that as she strobe
forward she stepped upon 1t and broke it
into fragments. And while Cupid threw
himself upon his pretty face, shaking with
sobs, his culver flung beside him, the girl
kissed the Circumstance
But the Circumstance only smiled quite
coldly, even while it folded her In its
arms.
For it happened to be a Bank Account.
The king had begun to be quite pleased
with this number when 1t happened that
he felt an irresistible desire to yawn. II
was really due to late hours In the past,
but he decided at once that IL must be due
to the present. So he frowned at the chair
man again.
ibid you see me yawnf" he said severe
ly. Ibid your When the games are so
stupid that the king has to yawn, HIM
He did. not finish, but the chairman felt
uneasy because of the things that the
king had omitted to say. He FASTENED on
to the next announcement.
1.-THE title of hour next number is a
'Tableau of Today" he cried, "hand
which explains ITSELF"
When everything had been arranged by
q multitude of slaves of Circumstance,
the scene showed a large office, with roll
er top desks and typewriter stand. In
the foreground was clerk who had served
his company 10 years. He looked it.
At the desk sat the Company. 1t was
thinking, through the pangs of headache,
of the night before and the day before
against a most unlucky lot of Circum
stances. 1t had made a huge speculation
In stocks OF the p. p. G. railway, and the
speculation had gone very wrong indeed.
Then, in order to recoup itself, the Com
pany had tried its luck at cards that even
ing. And every trial turned out more dis
astrously than the last So this morning
the Company saw that 1t had got to do
something to lessen EXPENSES
To resign at the club was out of the
question. To give up the box at the opera
would be absurd. When you have accus-
toned yourself to an expensive brand OF
cigars and wines, it Is really quite impos-
sible to drink or smoke anything inferior
There was only one thing to be done,
and the Company was going to do 1t.
1t called the lovely damsel who was In
the next room. 1t said to her, Take
letter, pleased
And while the company was debating
the letter the clerk, who had served the
company for / 5 years, was thinking over
the queer fate that had ruled him into this
rut where he only just earned enough to
keep himself and his family from hunger.
And then again he concluded by congrat-
ulating himself on having such good,
steady employment. 1t was more than
many men had.
He looked up, some one having touched
him on tho shoulder. 1t was the lovely
typewriter damsel, and she handed him
letter. He read this:
DEAR SIR circumstances over which we
have no control necessitate reduction of ex-
penses. Your resignation win be accepted on
the LIST of the month. THE COMPANY.
The clerk looked out of the window ST.
lentlY Outside the people were hurrying
along the street ceaselessly. 1t was like
huge torrent. He read the letter again,
smiling rather queerly. Then he opened
small drawer Of his desk and took out
very small tin box. 1t smelt of peoples.
He poured the contents into his mouth
and threw his head back, swallowing with
a quick gulp. Then he looked out Of the
window again, and waited fora certain
Circumstance.
One Of the last things he heard was the