The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1894-02-21
VULCAN AND THE OTHERS.
''Tuscrmbia" Continues TO Interest
Himself I'm Mythology.


the gods, the inference IS that you know
thing or two about Jupiter and his
family. These celebrities of the old
school-Greeks though a majority of
them were-were a jovial. amiable, hilar-
Gus, humorous set Of men.
Let us today renew the acquaintance of
Vulcan. Vulcan was the brawny, iron
nerved, herculean. dark-visaged black
smith about whom the great American
poet Oongfellow) has indicted sublime
poetical illusions. lie was god of the fire
and the forge, and earned his bread by
the sweat Of his brow. Vulcan was
lame and ugly. When at a military or
iireman's fair a gold watch was voted to
the handsomest man and a leather
medal to the homelicst. Vulcan always
got the medal He was so lame and ugly
that his mother i'm shame cast him
from heaven into the sea, and she was
not arrested. y couple of oceanids
named EurynOme and Thetis took COM
passion one Vulcan and tended him for
ten years in deep grotto of the sea.
How he escaped catching a fearful cold
and dying Of consumption living i'm such
n damp place is little short of Il II, racIe
He must have had wet feet pretty
much all the time. For their kindness
to him Vulcan made the Misses Thetis
hric-a-brac things, some of which were
stuck full of ceramic pictures and
placed on the parlOr manteL Another
account says it was his father who
treated Nulc so cruelty. one day
Jupiter and his wife quarreled over the
question who should get up first and
make the fires-or something that way
and when Vulc came TO the assistance
Of his mother Jupe seized him by the
foot and hurled him from Olympus
Nule, We are told. fell for whole day
but alighted at shutdown on n hill in
Brown county with but little breath in
his body. We should smile. The wonder
is that he wasn't killed outright. If he
fell head foremost he must have lost
all the money out of his pockets before
reaching terra flma- Some writer's say
it was from this fall that he became
lame, and we can readily believe it.
Nowadays a man can't fail from the
roof of the state house without being
famed for life. And if he were 10 fall a
whole day the only thing that would be
of any service to him after alighting
would be a funeral Nulc was supposed
to have his fOrgeS in the fiery noun
tains, and the smoke and flame which
broke from the craterS and volcanoes
proceeded from the chimneys Of his
shops. This may be true but we
shouldn't think he would secure much
custom setting up business in such an
plOyment was forging thunderbOlts. An
cient writer's don't inform us where he
found a market for the same. If he
were still I'm the business he might dis
pose Of a large number to our politicians,
who often yearn for red-hot thunderbolts
to hurl into the ranks of the opposition;
and double-headers to the Ciceronian pop
ulist orators hereabouts to fire out the
old parties. Vulc built himself a gor-
geous brass palace on olympus in which
was a huge workshop with twenty cum
ningly devised pairs of bellows.
1t IS presumed that he worked all these
himself, for 1t is not on record that his
journeymen ever struck for higher
wages. Vulc was the Prof. Edison Of
the gods. He constructed tripods which
moved Of their own accord into the BAN
quoting chamber and then returned to
their places after the meal was over.
Such tables We're marvels OF ingenuity,
but they had their objections. Guests
who imbibed too freely of the nectar of
the gods and retired under the table to
sleep off their WEAKNESS would have
their weakness and bodies exposed when
the tripods meandered off. Despite
Vulo's deformity and ugliness. the beau
full Venus became his wife. She had sew
eral other husbands, however, and evil
IDENTIFY believed that variety was the
spice OF married life. Vulc was short in
the left leg but that wasn't as inconVe-
nient as if he had been short in the
pocketbook. He was lame and homely
and only blacksmith and yet the RO-
mans worshiped him.
Mighty republican speakers continue to
crate to enraptuTed and approaching au-
dienceS on the grand odd Harrison
tines They marvelously enthuse and
their bosOms swell with patriotic o'uo-
tons ineXpressible. when they recur to
the masterpieces Of craftsmanship cuI-
minating in the Mckinley tariff law and
the righteous enactment Of laws re-
bounding to the emolUment and glory of
fraudulent pensioners. The grand
achievements of the billion-dOllar con-
gress are highly extolled, extravaganza
appropriations receive their NEED of
praise, and the utter lOoting of the treas
ury surplus in brief space of time elicit
demonstrations of JOY and portend =
glorious future for the untarrified
z. o. p.; its great seers have proclaimed
from the house tops that the failure of
the fruit crop. the scarcity of garden
sass and the worlds fair have only
slightly contributed to the dire calamity
now confronting us. They draw glow
ing comparisons between the former
democratic administration and great
Benjamin assume pugilistic attitudes,
and with kindling orbs and locks
projecting 1nountainward obstreDerousIv
assert that they have no atonement TO
offer and that the panic is the grand
fruitiOn Of 1.-The bourbon democracyI''
and that their skirts are Immediately
pure.
Deponent saith that modern republic
anism is the only national safeguard
the one solitary ard lone panacea for
panicS, that the long suffering tempest
tossed and dear people are thoroughly
aroused, amply educated and attribute
the same to it's proper source: we never
falter or swerve from the truth. All our
predictions respecting democra dc dorni-
nation have been fulfilled to me letter:
the country is flooded with wildcat
money, the negroes are re-ensiaved rebel
claims are cancelled, union soldiers are
no longer pensioned. opulepcy and for
eign syndicates revel and mold high car
nival with the public doryain. and Uncle
Sam is no longer rich enough 10 give us
all a farm. Behold AMI marvel exceed.
ingly how very much better the Harri-
son times were than fhe Cleveland, and
flock to our standard and be saved from
those insidious ANA lekites, the demo-
Gratis. Oh. We who s'hffer from chill pen
ury's blast. gaunt poverty and skeleton
want: se ulyriads who flock 20 the