West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-01-18

the grocery man saic he had better ier
the boy 90. an ms parents would not like
to have their little pet locked up. So the
policeman let go bis ear. and he threw
the empty bottle at a coal wagon, and
after the policeman had brushed the
champagne off his coat and smelled of
his fingers and started off the grocery
man turned to the boy, who was peeling
q cucumber. and said:
NOW, what kind of circus have you
been having, and what do you mean by
destroying wine that way. and where
are Your follsy"
"Well, I'll tell you. Ma she has got
the hay fever and has gone to Lake SUI
perior to see IL sho can't stop sneezing,
and Saturday Pa said he and me would
go out TO Cconomowoc and stay over
Sunday and try and recuperate our
health. Pa said it would be good joke
for me not 20 call him Pa, but to act as
though was his younger brother, and
We would have real nice time.
81 knowed what he wanted. Heis an
old masher, that's what's the matter with
him, and he was going to play himself
for a bachelor. Oh, thunder, got onto
his racket in a minute. He was in
troduced to some Of the girls, and Satur-
day evening he danced till the COWS come
home. At home he is awful 'fraid Of
rheumatic, and he never sweats or sits In
draft, but the water just poured off'n
him, and he stood in the door and let a
girl fan him till l was afraid he would
freeze, and just as no was telling a girl
from Tennessee, who was joking him
n l.on 1.
rot sure as he could always hold out n
woman hater If ho was to be thrown into
contact with the charming ladies of the
sunny south i pulled his coat and said:
Pa, how do you s'pose Mas hay fever is
tonight? I'll bet she is just sneezing the
top of her head Of Wall, sir, you lust
oughteu seen that girl and Pa. Pa looked
at me as if was total stranger and
told the porter If that freckled faced
bootblack belonged around the house he
had better be fired out OF the ballroom.
and the girl said the disgustin thing, and
just before they fired me | told Pa he
had better look out or he would sweat
through his liver pad.
II went TO bed, and Pa staid up till the
lights went out. He was mad when he
went TO bed, but he didn't lick me cause
the people in the next room would hear
him. but the next morning he talked to
me. He said l might go back home Sun
day night, and he would stay day or
two. He sat around on the veranda all
the afternoon talking with tho girls. and
when he would see me coming along he
would look cross. He took a girl ont
boat riding. and when asked him if |
couldn't go along lie said he was afraid I
would get drowned, and he said If went
home there was nothing there too good
Tor me, and so my chum and me got to
firing bottles of champagne. and he hit
mo in the eye with u cork, and drove
him out doors and was just going to
shell his earthworks when the police
man collarcd me. Say. what's good for
a black eyer"
The grocery man told him his Pa would
cnre 1t when he got home. what do
you think your Pas object was in pass-
ing himself OF for a single man mt Geo
nomowoc." asked the grocery man as he
charged up tho cucumber to the boys fa-
ther
That's what beatsme Oh. suppose
he does it for his health, the way they all
do when they go to asumner resort, but
y leaves boy an orphan, don't it, to
have such kitteny parents"