The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-10-06
FAKES WITH FLEAS
HOW A PAIR OF COcKNEYS FOOLED
THE CALIFORNlANS.
Patrons Of the San Francisco Fair WerG
Neatly Humbugged by Two London F.
kirs-A Lecturer Who Learned q Great
Deal by Listening to His Own Talk.

Among the attractions at the San Fran.
cisco fair was a trained flea exhibit. Aft
er the exposition closed the proprietors oil
the insect circus had a row. The patrons
of the trained flea outfit will be interested
to learn that the show was a fake of the
rankest kind; that 90 per cent of the in
sects were dead when exhibited, and that
the men who manipulated the concern
knew no more about the true inwartlness
of training and handling feas than they
did of tie social habits OF the tuberculosis
bacilli.
The warning partners were Frank Ry-
man and John Burgess. They are both
English, and Burgess, who is a clean
shaved, merry faced young fellow, with a
cockney brogue that is redolent of White
chapel or some equally notorious slum in
PARKWAY foggy London, exhibited a fond
ness for bicycling and it was at the cyclery
that he first conveyed to an admiring
crowd the information that the flea show
was a delusion and snare
1T was this way" began Burgess in
choice Londonese. ME and Ryman ard
two other fellows lad concession for SELL
in cutlery, but we couldn't make nothink.
We wos driven to desperation, an it wos a
vase Vi Nt eldTNt. w tll, L
gets it into lne nut that trained flea show
would 1T the public, but there wasn't a
bloomin one of US knew the fust think
about 'andlin or 'arnessin flea
''Of course I'd seen genuine flea teams
in the hold country, where they 'arness
'em with 'orse' air and hexibit 'em in mag
nifled glass cases, but 1 don't know no
more N Hadam 'ow the thing wos done.
That didn't stop US, though. We got
Jap to make hus nice little houtfit of
tiny paper carriages with copper wheels,
and we gets place fixed hup for giving
hexibitions. Fust we got some fieas and
began hexperimentin just to see if we
could tumble to the racket of 'arnessin
'em. We couldn't. They was too lively.
Finally we got some very fine copper
wire and stuck a piece of it into one of the
fiea's launches. First we stuck it in too
far, and then the flea died, but we kept
on hexperimentin, and we found just 'ow
far we could spear a flea with good
chawnce of keepin i'm alive until the show
was over. We got the thing down pretty
fine, and then got outside and did bit
of spielin, while Ryman stood indoors and
speared the heas and made them fast to
the carriages.
When everything was ready, I'd rush
hinside and superinUend the hexhibition,
and tell you it was a ticklish job, COS
seven out Of the eight fleas would be dead
before the show began.
Any 'ow I'd give the people a nice talk
about 'Ow ard it was to train and 'arness
a flea, an 'ow yer 'ad to ave a certain
brand of fea with plenty of brains, or
you 'S>lld never make nothing out of 'em.
| useS 70 tell 'em that it took six months
to heducate a young flea, and we 'ad real
live flea with a silver chain around is
neck, which I drew their attention to as
flea that was just learning lis business. L
also told 'em 'ow we 'ad to change flea's
gait and hall the rest of it.
low did we get the feass Why, Ry-
man used to lasso stray dogs around the
fair grounds, an we got all we wanted.
'Ow did we feed 'em? / used to feed 'em,
and it makes me blood boil when think
Of the hingratitude of that teller Ryman.
Look at me harm here. Them feas used to
feed on me arts blood.
Generally when the show was about to
commence all the fleas but one would be
lead, F" continued Burgess. But used
% put brave face ON il and tilt the paste
,arriage and fleas would roll down ill.
Then I'd give another little talk and
watch me chawnce SO as / could tilt the !
ard the other way, and the team would
glide down ill again.
why, the public stood it like lambs,
nut often thought as 'ow Ryman would
queer the show. Z used to lay 1t on too
hick. II kept on saying, Ladies and
gents, it takes two ours to 'arness a flea,
md there's only another man an meself-
hats Inc fawther-aS is in this country
It present as knows 'ow to do it
Il said to him one day: Look ere, Ry-
nan, you re a-comin it too strong There's
Millions of people in this country an the
hawnceS are that one or two on 'em are
IS clever as you or your bloomin fawther. /
lust draw it a bit mild, Gull, or they'll
tumble that the ole business is red, raw
axe
Well, sir. it was wonderful 'ow people .
TODD the show. We 'ad ministers of the .
gospel and governesses and all sorts come
n, and me art used to be in me mouth
ryin to find hanswers for the questions
hey hasked. But 1 heIplained heyery-
hing 20 the queens taste, an tell you .
earned ole lot about neas just by lis
enin to meself talkin.
Sometimes all the f1eas would be dead,
nd I'd slide 'em down the card quick
nd then say, Now, ladies and gents, the
hover
THE hentertainment'' said fly lookin
loke one dag, where hin ell is the hen
Well, Just said something humorous
nd turned the laugh hagainst i'm, and
he crowd went out laughin and good ma
ured.
We had one flea stuck on a tight rope,
nj used TO tell 'em that e was the best
rained of the lot. E can do hanythink
mt talk SAYS /. and all the time e was
: dead as door nail. We 'ad i'm glued
o the rope with wax.
We 'ad glasses for the ladies TO look at
be hinsecks. but the place was dark, and
used II tell EN- they got better heffect
Y watchin 'em with the naked h re.
''One day a party OF ladies come rs
was connected with the fair, an
says TO EN-, Ladies, it is a naWsty cold
ay, an the hin>ecks is chilled an won't
york. an they took il all in an went away.
akin il right through, / believe 'alf the
olks thought they was lookin ct a genuine
how, but the other 'alf tumbled il was
axe.
Sometimes when Ia notice a flea As
ToS just goiH 10 peg out d put i'm on
he palm Of me and and say. Just watch
i'm Jump when e ears my voice OF
curse ed jump in his dyin commissions.
ut the people all thought it was straight
Gods -
Didn't the cruelty TO animals people
et after YOU asked one CT Burgess lis
eners.
"'Ow could they" replied the quick
ritted cockney. They wasn't on 10 our
raft. an even IL they 'ad been il wasn't
To-