Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-05-13
SOME OF VANcE'S STORIES.
Related of Man Who Was One Of the
Best Story-Tellers in the Country.

fkate FIellS WaSnlnStOn)
As there never was Il man in the United
States Senate who told more stories than
"Zeb" Vance. Of North Carolina, 1t Is natu-
raj that many should be told abou. him.
When he first came TO Washington he
used to be mistaken every day for Rich
ard ]. Bright, then. as now. the Sergeant
alarms of the Senate. Members Of the
other house were continually stopping
him to talk about appointments OF door
keepers, etc, and even the assistants in
the Library Of Congress used to take his
orders for books and send the books 20
Colonel Bright's address. 70 any one who
knew the two men within the last few
years. such a mistake would seem we'll
nigh impossible.
one Of the city railway companies sent
him pass. The next day Il was returned
with a note. expressing his thanks and
saying: Il have one OF the best pairs of
legs in the country. and will be willing to
walk, If you will give this pass to some
poor washerwoman who has to pay five
cents mile every time she rides on your
cars"
When he married the second time. he
said To his wife OF their wedding-day:
MY dear, l IN a STUBBORN lellOW, anu YOU
may anticipate trouble. Now. in the be-
ginning. while ! am submissive, | want
to give you one piece OF advice. II you
follow it. we'll get on mighty well. rs
this: Make me DO just as darne1 please"
y newspaper man who about
starting for a rather out-of-the-way por-
ton Of Nance's own State was asking him
one day what kind of accommodation he
was likely to find.
They'll give you some OF their fried
hog and eggs" the Senator said.
That's better than nothing" said the
newspaper man.
Il don't know-I don't know" the Sena-
tor answered. in "A dubious tone. 1--WE
tried both"
During the war he was In the Con-
fcderate army. and in one of the battles
before Richmond found the fighting par
ticularly hot \ startled rabbit appeared
for moment on a fallen tree. and then,
at Il murderous discharge Of musketry.
darted like an arrow for the ambush.
Vance had noticed him. and, as he few
for clover. called out. with obvious sim
cerity: go 1t, cottOn-tail; II | hadn't a
reputation to maintain | would run. too"
Vance used to say that his llveliest cam.
paien for the gOvernorship OF North
Carolina was that in which Judge Settle
State in joint debate. All the white
Democrats turned out to hear Vance and
all the colored Republicans TO hear Set
tie. on one occasion. at the conclusion
Of the speaking. Vance was Informed
that there were some charming young
ladies who desired TO testify their devo-
ton to the Democratic party by kissing
the Democratic candidate for Governor.
Nothing loath, Vance descended from
the platform and kissed a dozen or so
Of the young beauties, and then paused
long enough 10 turn around toward his
competitor and shout: Settle I'm kissing
my girls: now you kiss yours."
one Of the best stories told about him,
Vance told himself. He was making a
personal canvass for votes in a back
woods settlement where he was not ac-
qua!nted. Finding about sixty men Of
voting age at crossroads grocery.
he dismounted. hitchcd his horse, and
fell to cracking jokes with them. He
seemed to be getting on very well with
most Of the party, but he noticed one
old man with shaggy eyebrows and
brass-bowed spectacles sitting on box
and marking in the sand with stick.
as If paying no attention. After awhile
Vance concluded that the old man must
be the bell-wether of the flock. and ac-
cordingly made preparations 10 capture
him. AS he sidled up, the old man rose
and snook himself. leaned forward on
his stick and said solemnly: This is
Mr.. Vance. / believe?"
Eyes, sir" said Vance.
"And you have come over here to Gee
my boys about their votes. | believer
eyes. sir. that is my business"
well. sir. afore you proceed with that
70 IN To-
questions"
Certainly. sir. certainly"
what church mout you belong tor
That was a poser. Vance didn't belong
to any church. He knew that religion
and meeting were big things in the
and controlled politics there
but he didn't know what the religion OF
this region was for North Carolina was
much split up between sects. But he
squared himself and said. slowly: "Well.
my friend l will tell you about that. for
II is fair question. You see. my grand
father came from Scotland. and you know
that over in Scotland everybody Is Pres
byterian." Here he paused 10 note he
effect. but detected no sign OF sympathy.
But my grandmother came from Eng
land, and over there everybody belongs
to the Episcopal Church" He paused
again. but the old man merely marked
another line In the sand and shifted his
quid from the right TO the left cheek.
But my father was born In this coun-
try in Methodist settlement, and so he
grew up Methodist" Still no sign Of
approval from the old man. Vance be-
gan to feel chilly, but he made one last
effort:
But my good old mother was a Bap-
fist, and it's my opinion that n man has
got to go under water TO go to Heaven"
The old man walked up. and, taking
him by the hand. said: well, you are
all right. Mr.. Vance" Then We will all
vote for you.