Bennington semi-weekly banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 1894-1902, 1894-09-21
ABSENTMINDED.

Robert ColfaX, an extremely absent
minded young man, clorked 1t In a hard
ware house on Broadway. He was hand
some fellow. His wages enabled him to
live in good boarding house.
Like most young men Of his age, Robert
was madly in love with pretty girl, the
only child of an old farmer. Love between
the two was we'll advanced. They ex-
changed o regular correspondence and Of
ten made an opportunity to speak to each
other in spite of tho old gentleman, who
would never consent to the MATCH his
only desire being that Of seeing his Char
lotte married to q rich man.
And so it happened that Robert, while
attending to the correspondence Of the
firm, found also time to remember his
beautiful sweetheart. And between one
business letter and another he often wrote
one Of love.
A shipment of five kegs of nails having
been made one day to Mrs. Thorne of
Chicago, Colfax wrote that lady few
lines notifying her Of that fact. He then
put the letter in an envelope and scaled it
before writing the address
A little later on he found time to drop a
line to his loved ono, who had just gone out
Of town. He wrote
MY DEAREsT-I love you. How much you
cannot even imagine. Far from you life is un-
bearable and tiresome. II you wish, shall 90
to you at once. long to see you. send you a
bonbonniere. With love, yours, etc.
And in his absence Of mind, instead Of
writing his own name, he signed the let
ter with that Of the firm. He then sealed
the envelope and addressed it; Mrs.
Thorne, Chicago, Ills"
The letter intended for Mrs. Thorne
read as follows:
Please take notice that have shipped you
this day five kegs of nails of the usual brand.
Kindly credit me with amount of invoice.
Yours truly.
He signed it with a flourish Robert
Colfax" and had it mailed to his Char
lotte among the firms correspondence.
Two days afterward Robert received n
letter. He opened it impatiently, and
after reading it changed color several
times. 1t was Charlotte who had written:
Mr. Colfax:
I cannot have any feeling toward ono who
would send me five kegs Of nailsl imagine
how he would nail me if he were my husband.
l have found here a wealthy man who will
your absence of mind, of which have had am
pie proof. Take care and be less distraught In
the future. Respectfully,
CHARLOTTE GRILL.
After having read this letter for the
hbird time Robert struck the desk with
his right fist, causing the inkstand to
empty itself on the books to their utter
RUIN.
1'What the devil arc you doing, ColfaxH
Are you crazy2" cried the Office manager,
and Robert all confused, excused himself,
promising to cover at his own expense the
damage done.
Meanwhile he asked permission and
hurriedly left the office.
Robert, what did you write to Mrs.
Thorne Of ChicagoH' asked the proprietor
of the firm in loud tone few days after.
THE notice of the effected shipment"
quietly replied Robert
Its impossible"
"How soP'
"Get the letter book and let us see,"
replied the employer
Here 1t Is"
Mrs Thorno, Chicago:
Please take notice that have shipped you
this day five kegs Of nails
"Ah, ahr' said Mr.. William. THAT
widow evidently has gone crazy. I can't
understand it," and handing a letter to
Colfax he left the ROOM
The letter ran thus
Mr.. Walter R. Williams:
accept your proposal with great pleasure.
recollect your nice appearance as we'll as your
marked courtesy to me when you were here.
shall expect to see you soon In order to come to
n 1xy aNyaru gir,r
Mrs. THoRNE (nee Black.
Then Robert understood the mistake,
and laughing clumsily left the office hur-
riedly.
The young man started for Chicago the
next day in order to introduce himself to
the widow. Taking advantage of his, fash
tonable appearance and refined manners
and proflting by the misunderstanding, at
the same time pretending to DO member
of the firm Of w. G. Williams, he intro
duced himself to the old and ugly widow.
By counting her for few hours he sue
ceeded in making Mrs. Thorne fall in love
with him. Then he put things before her
in their true light, acquainting her as to
his standing and explaining the object of
his visit to Chicago as we'll as how the
misunderstanding had happened.
The old lady was elated and laughed
heartily.
About month after the departure Of
ColfaxJ Mr.. Williams, who could not ex-
plain the unexpected absence Of his clerk,
received the following communication:
Mr.. Robert Colfax NOV proprietor of the firm
of Thorne, Chicago and Mrs. Helen Thorne
p (nee Black take pleasure in announcing their
wedding, which took place in December last.
And SO it was that Robert became the
proprietor of one of the most important
houses in Chicago-thanks to his absence
of mind.-New York Press.
Didn't Know Buffalo Bill.
Zone day there came into my Office in
London, said Mr.. Nate Salisbury, "a very