Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-03-10
The Frenchmsn's Joke.

President Cleveland, Secretary
Gresham and the other members Of
the Cabinet we're thrown into the
greatest state OF consultation tue
other day by call received from
dignifed Frenchman who styled
himself NJ. de Malaprop and Who
vas in possession OF papers showing
that he was the personal representa-
tive of President Garnet.
The Cabinet had just concluded a
three hours session IN which the at.
titude Of the United States Govern.
ment toward Hawaii had been thor
oughly discussed. President Cleve.
land and Secretary Gresham had
succeeded in convincing the gentle
men that the only honorable course
VAS to sustain Mr.. Cleveland in his
determination to restore the deposed
Q cen and that all ofthe correspond
erce regarding the deplorable affair
should be submitted to Congress &C
companied by request to maintain
the course already mapped out by
the President.
Had bomb been exploded great
er coniusion.could not have prevailed
in the Presidential family than ex-
listed when NJ. de Malaprop revealed
the purpose of his journey to Amer
lea. Having thoroughly satisfied the
President aud Secretary Estate that
he was authorized 10 speak tor Pres.
idept Carno', NJ. de Malaprop deliv-
cred himself as follows
"Mister President and members of
ze, of &c, what you call him, re cup
board gentlemen 1t is with re great
est respect and kindness Eat l c,me
to you, but re profound sense of duty
which | owe TO my gov rnment ana
to its president compels me 10 lay
aside all those considerations and
tell you plainly of &c great mission
which | have been sent TO pc, torn.
| represent not merely President
Carnot, but through him the great,
re wonderful Republique, &c mighty
successor of &c French Empire.
represent re millions OF valiant
Frenehmen whose glory IL has ever
been to follow heroic leaders, wheth-
er it be TO meet re English at Water
loo or re invading German host. |
represent a people mighty in battle
on land or sea, who stand ready to
back their purposes with their lives.
"Presidert Carnot is now thor
oughly convinced that re American
people made grave mistake When
in l776 zey made &c Declaration
dIndependcnce. 1t was wrong for
re subjects of George re Third, of
England, to rebel against re rule of
re sovereign, and in re long war Eat
followed it was wrong for re French
Empire to aid and encourage those
who were in open rebellion. Lafav-
cite could have been a warm person.
al friend of Washington, but for him
to leave his native country, come to
America and with his sword help his
friend to set up new government
was an act which President Carnot
cannot now sanction or approve. 10
course of re French government ut
Eat time is greatly to be deplored,
and President Carnot is now con.
WINGED Eat re only honorable course
Tor him to pursue is TO undo ze great
wrong which was then committed :.
He therefore proposes to restore re
territory which you now call re I'M
tied States to re English. He hopes,
and | share his wish, to accomplish
this without &c loss Of blood. You
have simply 10 haul down &c flag
which you call re Stars and Stripes.
M. Blount can do Eat easily; then
you hoist re British flag overze Cap
itol. II you will do zis at once zen
you right re great wrong of l7TG
but il you hesitate, zen shall be
obliged 70 call for q detachment of
marines from &c French man-of war
lying in re Potomac.
| When the little Frenchman had
finished he found the apartment en-
tirely deserted. President Cleveland
fled to the nursery to consult with
Ruth, and Secretary Gresham was
found later writhing upon the pave.
ment as if suffering from the effects
OF violent poison.
A Fair Trial.