The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-03-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Inc man VINO laDOrS unuer uelu-
sion works for bad psymaster.
Anybody can see through people
who make spectacles of themselves.
Dallas News.
The borrower is a good deal like pie
crust-he is very ''short" and very
sweet. Truth.
When a man has no bills against
him he must feel as if he belonged to
the nobility. Texas Siftings.
Eating ones own words isn't exactly
a love-feast, but sometimes our friends
enjoy seeing MS do it. Truth.
A mans worth and what n mans
worth, are, it frequently happens,
widely different things. Puck.
If a man gets up when the day breaks
can he be said to have a whole day be-
fore him Minneapolis Times.
Sneezing is probably an effort of
nature to force lazy people to take
some exercise. Milwaukee Journal.
Cholly-"Yaas, we missed each other
in the crowd" She That's just like
her. She's always losing things. -
Life.
A large part of the average hack
mans success is doubtless due to his
knowing how to take people. Buffalo
Courier.
Clarissa-'I owe you an apology,
dearest" Fred-"Don't speak of it.
7 wish to remain a preferred credi'
tor. Puck.
"And do you ever invite your poor
relations to visit you?" 30 yes, in
deed. You see they are all too poor
to get here. Judge.
"Bilkeins is n strong face, or I'm
no Judge of physiognomy." 'It ought
to be. He and his whole family are
living on it. Buffalo Courier.
Mamma-"Aren't you home from
school earlier than usual to-day?"
Bobby--'Yes, mamma, l wasn't kept
in to-day. "-Harper's Young People.
81 wonder what this image repre-
sents?" ''The god of humor, proba-
bly,. Don't you see that it is full of
little funny cracks?" s?"-Indiapolis Jour.
nal.
"Why in the world do you want to
get your daughter violin, lawson?
She is not musical, is she?" "Not a.
all but yiolins have chin rests. -
Judge.
Jinks--"I don't think it looks we'll
for a minister to wear diamonds.
EllBins- "Why not? Aren't there
sermons in ?"-Kate Fields
Washington.
81 wonder how it was discovered
that fish was brain food?" She
Probably by the wonderful stories
that men tell who go fishing. Chi.
cago Inter Ocean.
He--"Did you ever hear that Jag.
sons wife speaks two languagesT
She--"Yes." " He-"What are theyi
The one for company and the other
for Jagson. "-lnter-O Ocean.
"Now, what must do with this
wedding cake to dream of it?" asked a
gushing damsel of matter-of-fact
young man. ''Just cat it; that's
all, " was the reply. -Tid-Bits.
She-"Tell me, now, have your af.
fecGons always remained constant?"
He--'I can truthfully say that they
have, though 1 admit that their object
has often changed. Boston Tran.
script
Muggins-"Some people are never
satisfied to know that certain things
are SO, but are continually wanting to
know the why and whereof of il. 4"
Buggins --"Yes, / wonder why il is2"
-Philadelphia Record.
cts bad luck, said the bad boy,
"to give person something sharp OF
pointed. l shouldn't be a bit sur
prised if young Mr.. Jinkles and l
were to part friendship after l leave
this pin in his chair for him. Wash
ington Star.
Bartender Look here, there
That'll do! I've counted ten crackers
and seven junks of beef you've eaten
already" Hungry One-"They hire
you to tend here, don't they? One
lunch counter is enough-see?' ?'-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Timid Young Author" Haven't you
read my poem too hastily? I'm sure,
sir, it has some good features about it
that you would see on more careful
reading" Editor with a sudden sus-
picion) You are not trying to work
off an acrostic on us, are you, miss?"
Chicago Tribune.
Penelope ltriumphautly)--'I heard
last night that Jack was head over ears
in love with me Grace Gealously)-
you cannot believe all you hear.
Penelope ''No, but l should not won
der if there was something in II.
! Grace why Who told youg Peaes
Iona -uUa lid - Voaua