The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1894-10-09
Rumors of Timely Bargain
With Burns.
JESSE MARKS WAS ON THE FENCE
All OF Which Is Nothing to Occult
Influences i'm Certain
Noted Recount.

oo9oVA GU Cdoiiy tDab uduy pcOpio aio iou
to believe that he must have oiled the
way with his own products. placed himself
on the toboggan and let il go at that.
They are mistaken. It's longer story
than that, much longer.
Mr.. Read has only been in politics about
four years and all the stories connected
with him are longer than that Many peo-
pie not endowed with BOurbonic memories
have. however, forgotten them. 1t really
is so hard, you know; and so provoking
to have to dig down in the dust of years to
resurrect memories of man all had
thought politically buried. But it's got to
be done and the kindly offices of The
CALL are ever at the behest of tbs people.
Four years ago. then, Mr.. Read was
dragged forth into the light Of political
publicity and received the nomination for
Recorder on the Republican ticket.
Around his head was a halo and his
fevered brow was cooled by the futterings
of the wings of the cherubim. Kelly and
Crimmins. He went to the polls and was
elected. and on the appointed day was in
stalled in the Hall of Records as its guard
ian angel. fianked still. fianked always,
by the cherublm and their seraphc follow
ing.
Like all great publicists Mr.. Read found
1t incumbent upon him 10 say something.
Louis XIV had uttered ''pe tat c'est m0il"
and Vanderbilt had said 1.-THE public be
-" Hundreds of others had been equal
ly epigrammatic, but it remained for Read
to cap Them all. His "Hurrah for the
bosses! Long may they rule J" will live in
history when David Bennett Hills dec
laration Of politics will have been forgot
ten.
He really didn't have to say IL. There
was no particular occasion to call it forth,
or anything else any one could discover.
Mr.. Read just did it because he felt that
way; said it out If gratitude for the solicit
tude of the cherubim for his political well
fare. he was perfectly aware that this
dual bosshead had given him the Job, aud
was thoroughly conscious that in return
they distributed the patronage of his
office. They had placed him in office. he
drew the salary. they put in whomever they
chose and no questions asked. 1t was per-
fectly satisfactory all around; the contract
had been made and the goods delivered.
Mr.. Read was merely giving them lagni-
appe.
kelly and Crimmins." he said, as near
y
present, deserve the patronage of all the
offices. They have elected the men and
have done good for the Republican party"
And everything was lovely. Mr.. Read
held the Office of Recorder for two years,
ran his oil refinery ana made axle grease
from the residuum. was one of the b'hoys,
and put in most of his evenings at the es-
Establishment of his friend, Jesse Marks.
Kelly and Crimmins managed the patron
age, and things worked so smoothly that
Mr.. Read had no trouble i'll securing the
| nomination second time.
But, Just as an example of the tickle
ness of voters, what do you think? They
put up Glynn against him, and Kelly and
Crimmins and all the Ia lubricants in his re-
fnery failed to make things smooth for
him. Election day two years ago was a
cold day for Mr.. Read. The ice was
rough, his skates were dull, and, like one
of the foolish virgins, he had failed to sup
ply the proper amount of oil TO his lamps.
The next day it snowed-a perfect storm
of ballots for Glynn buried the Republi-
can candidate clear out Of Sighr. They
dragged him out, benumbed and frozen,
rubbed his political feet and bathed his po-
| litical temples, but all to no avail. He
was political dead duck, aud they took
him out ana buried his political corpse on
the banks of Salt River, where the skies
are always lowering and the crows roost
in the tules. They had wound up his lit
tie ball of yarn.
They had forgotten, however. that the
spirits of those who meet untimely deaths
rest not in their tombs; that they stalk
forth in their cerements to wall their
weird song to the signing winds. And so
| with the political spirit of Read. 1t issued
| forth from the. tomb in the tules to enter
| its protest against its untimely taking off.
and the man who had owned the political
| body appeared in behalf of the spirit and
| demanded recount.
| Mr.. Read set forth in all the redundant
verbage of the statute in such case made
| and provided that a recount would show
that he, and not Mr.. Glynn. had received
the most legal votes for Recorder. The
public stood aghast at this charge, not at
the horror of it, but the Amusement. The
ballots had been counted once and nothing
out of The way had been found. They
really couldn't figure out what Mr.. Read
was driving at His combination was TOO
complicated for almost any imagin alton.
But they decided to give him the recount.
and on the day appointed the proper board
began its labors on the ballots. What Mr..
Read was driving at soon became apparent
On the first day it was discovered that
many of the ballots which had previously
been eouDt ted for Giynn had undergone d
| startling change. The wonderful transpo-
sition of Abou Ben Adhem's name you
read about was nothing to it. The only
parallel is in the facility OF the leopard for
changing his spots. Ballots that had pre-
viously cross opposite only the name of
Glyun for Recorder were found to have q
cross opposite the name of Read also.
The count proceeded and more ballots.
hundreds more, were found to have been
similarly - similarly - TO have similarly
changed themselves. There was no other
explanation for it. Read didn't do it, and
he swore he had no idea who did. 1t was
a phenomenon, and the public held up its
hands, opened wide its mouth and gaZed
in wonder. Some of the voters had an
idea that the spirit of Reads political
corpse had introduced its astraity into
the sealed ballot-box and fixed things to
suit itself.
And the count proceeded. Glynn steadily
falling behind. Read as diligently forging
ahead. There is not doubt that the lat
ter would have come out ahead at this
rate had not the public shook itself, rose
up as oDe man and made prolonged
howl at occult influences in politics: some