St. Landry democrat., 1894-01-20

! II you were good to eat.
| Il Detroit Free Press.
| THE AGE OF THE PRECIOUS.
Mrs. Jhones-Ethel, you might tel
me who the young man is that called last
evening.
Ethel Gust 11)--Certainly, mamma, il
| you're curious about it: that's the young
man I'm engaged to-
AN IMPORTANT DRAWBACK.
Mrs Parvenu. DO you enjoy opera
Mrs. Nurich (who has q box by the
season)-Very much; if it weren't for
the horrid playing and singing they
keep up on the stage. Chicago Rec
ord.
PRACTICAL LESSON IN POIITENEsS.
Little Ethel-It's awful impoIite to
ask for things.
Little Johnny-Course it is. What of
it?
Little Ethel-Nothing, only I'm gettin'
hungry for some candy I've got in my
pocket, and there isn't enough for two
- Good News
A FATAL OEJ hNlIbN-
Aunt-My child, you can never marry
Charlie Hunker
Niece-Oh, aunt surely you do not
mean that he is dissipated?
Aunt-No; but his fortune is. Judge.
DILEMMA.
Magistrate-You are accused of not
supporting your wife.
Prisoner--But, your honor, you don't
know my wife. She is insupportable.--.
Truth.
Chow noisy that child isl
"He can't help it, He's from Boston.
"What has that to do with itI'
"He's Hub.bub - Truth.
A REBUkE.
4 hope" she said severely, ''that
you have not been drinkin'"
"Niadam,' said Meandering Mike, Il
leave yer door fur ever However on
friendly an oncharitable yer feelin' to-
ward Teller bein' may be, it's ongener
Gus an cruel to remind him of his mis-,
fortunes "- Washington Star.
THE ONLY TEST.
Hardupp-I tried to sell those dia-
monds l bought Of you, and was told
they were not genuine.
Jeweler-Did you sell themI
Hardupp-Yes, for almost nothing.
Jeweler-WelI you go back and try
to buy them, and you will find out that
they are genuine - New York Weekly.
SATISFACTORILY EXPLAINED.
See here" said the man who had
married a widow, hasn't your hair
turned gray rather suddenly since we
were wedl"
'Oh,' said she, "that's from fright.
was 80 scared when you proposed to
me, don't you know?"--L indianapolis
Journal
AN UNEXPECTED PLEASURE
Mis- Winslow-I'm very glad YOU
called, Mr. Walker.
Mr. Walker-Oh, thanks, awfully.
Miss WinsloW (more enthusiastically
Yes, ! am 30 delighted to have seen
that beautiful dog of yours Truth.
AT THE FOOTBALL GAME.
There were two colored wagons at the
football game. One of them had a grocer's
sign plainly letterel 0l1iitts- sid side hut the
nature of the other was not so easily de-
termined.
"Get out O me way said the driver
of the grocery wagon. -" You ought to |
be off to yer work, anyhow
"Get ought yerself,' was the reply:
i reckon I've got heap more business
here than you have
"Well, / guess not I'm a-drivin a
grocery wagon, | am, and I'm a-waitin'
ter get one Of the players order for din
ner."
"Grocery wagon Well, pardner, for
q football game you amt in it, This
wagon that I'm a-drvin is ambul
ance."
AN ADoRNMENT.
Hoppers lin the ball-room) What in
thunder is that paper Mrs. Richey's got
pinned on her dress9
Mopps-Well, you see Mrs. Richey's
diamonds are so valuable that's he doesn't
dare wear them in society, and so she
wears that paper. It's an affidavit that
she does have 'em- Chicago Record.
PROSPECTIVE WEALTH.
"say, Johnny" said an urchin, give
got a scheme"
"What is it?' said another
"See dat Teller putin in coal over
there?"
eyes,
"Go over an call him names. Maybe
he'll t'row piece at yer. ~ Washington
Star.
TOO NICE TO LAST.
Peddler-Is the lady OF the house
in?
Mr.. Newlywed-Yes; but there isn't
thing in the wide world we want :
Peddler--All right, sir, III call again
when the honeymoon is over Truth.
a NECESSARY TRAINING.
'What is the matter with Dickie Van
{
Nothing that know of.
Il saw him in the gymnasium lust l
now going through the most horrible
facial contortions. But when spoke to
him he appeared to recover INSTANTLY"
ooh, that's all right. Dickie was tax
ing his exercise"
Il don't quite understand you"
LOGICAL INFERENCE. :
II wonder how Europeans come to |
pprsisf in hot i1oo 4b,+ I,nl. g