The Wichita daily eagle., 1894-03-08
TIE KANSAS CITY TIMES STUPEND-
OUS LIAR.
To the Editor Of the Eagle.

OUS LIAR.
To the Editor of the Eagle.
Entering a car not long since espied
two papers on seat and, picking one
up. saw it was the Kansas City Times.
On the editorial page l saw caption in
which the Wilson bill was mentioned.
Glancing down the column discovered
the subjoined specimen of able-bodied
prevarication. AS have made it rule
OF life to preserve all lies above twenty
four karat fine, rescued this fine speci-
men from oblivion by clipping it. 1t is
as follows:
| The Times has direct information from
all the prominent manufacturing centers
/ between this city and the far east. and
knows positively that factories of all de-
| scriptions are running at full blast, that
employment in that line lies open to all
| who desire 1t. and the output of the mills
is being increased as fearlessly as though
no tariff bill were pending, and with evil
dent assurance Of a profitable market.
| Anxious to add sill further to my
splendid collection picked up the
other paper, which proved to be
the st. Louis Republic. Knowing that
in the sub-tertiary stratum of the paleo-
zoic age to which that paper belongs I
could, with reasonable assurance, count
on finding some very fine specimens of
petrified lying, I commenced to deIve.
l was doomed to disappointment, for the
very first thing that caught my eye was
the following headlines:
''FUND FOR THE UNEMPLOYED"
''The 25-Cent Funds Rapid Growth"
And more to the same purpose In
this connection l recalled the items
which l had seen in Democratic jour
nals-the Times not excepted-abouG the
distress prevalent in all the large cities
and the means that were being
adopted to relieve suffering from
the lack of employment; how in many
cities soup houses are run as charitable
institutions, how 5000 unemployed men
in Boston marched in a body to the state
house, to besiege the legislature for
work, and l felt convinced that my
specimen was worth preserving. I re-
called also, how every Democratic jour-
nal in the country, that was ''onto its
job" noted in big headlines with "ston-
isher" punctuations, how factory here
and there had resumed, but were elo-
quently silent about the little item, cat
reduced wages" that always accompan
led these statements in other journals.
| thought also of the urgent appeals for
help for the unemployed. which were
to be seen daily in the great metropoli-
tan journals, like the New York World,
Post, Herald and Times, all strictly
orthodox on free trade. Putting these
things all together I concluded had
stumbled upon a fine specimen of scien-
tific lying in the above from the Times.
The quality of lie depends largely upon
it's source. In the geological formation
of hes it sometimes happens that some
of the baser materials filter into them
and render them valueless as specimens.
They thus become common, everyday
lies. For instance, if the tariff liar
should happen to know anything about
the subject it would not be advisable to
preserve his lies except as examples of
the depravity of the human heart. But
in a case like the above there is not
single trace of alloy IN this gem.
The young man who coined it is
evidently a dude who parts his
hair in the middle. who never had an
hours experience in any kind of manu-
featuring or any other legitimate in-
dustry where brains are an essential
requisite; young gentleman who
knows so little about the wool industry
that he wouldn't know Mexican dog
from one of Bill Nye's "night- blooming
Angora goats" in fact young man
who is absolutely guiltless of any knowl-
aJ| .,ho ~ Tn riff
who is, therefore, thoroughly qualified to
instruct manufacturers how to conduct
their business as well as to tell them
just how much they are robbing the
people. And what is Of supreme import
ance to both manufacturers and the coun-
try is the startling fact that the factories
are running full blast" Notwithstanding
the fact that the owners are laboring
under the hallucination that they are
closed. The hundreds of thousands of
unemployed men all over the country
will be surprised to learn that ''employ- |
ment in these times is open to all who |
desire it." Or it may be that they have
been regularly employed ''at full blast
all the time and don't know it,
and never will until they get u |
copy of the Times.
The manufacturers will be surprised
to learn that their "outpus is being |
feariessiy increased as though no tariff |
bill were pending" and they will be !
gratified to learn what they never would |
have known but for the Times, that /
there is an assurance of prof |
liable market: The country at large |
will breathe easier now that there is no |
longer any doubt and uncertainty
which papers of every political complex |
ion have been talking about. The Times |
has ''direct information" and knows |
positively" that everything is running
full blast" !
How unfortunate for the country, and |
especially the Democratic party. that |
the Times has withheld this very impor- |
tant information SO long, and allowed |
the president TO call an extra session of |
congress 10 consider the extraordinary |
condition Of the country which, after |
all, turns out 10 be a mistake. \ long |
succession of mishaps thas have over |
taken the Democratic party might have |
been avoided, and the beastiy Repubii- |
can ma ioritles in Ohio and PennsyIv vanla |
might never have been heard of, Work |
iHgmen vino have imagined themselves |
out OF employment and hungry might |
now be living on the fat of the land ''by |
bare Imagination of I. feast II they had |
only had these assurances fiom the /
Times year or so ago. | have often |
wondered how it was that Annanias /
was treated so harsily in bis time for /
what appears, III the light OF subsequent |
events, to have been siighs offaase, but |
| am now satisfied that part of the |
Il. sa.l a. i &