The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-09-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A receiving teller-The scandal
bearer. Truth
Fame is surely a bubble; for plenty
of "soap" will make it,-Puck.
There is a little wolf and little
rabbit in every man. -Atchison Globe.
In the grammar of femininity two
negatives make two alternatives.
Puck
Most men and their stomachs don't
understand each other. - Atcbison
Globe.
Let us be frank, and admit that We
are all somewhat gossipy. .-Atchison
Globe.
The fut man is an example of those
who have greatness thrust upon them.
Truth.
The difficulty in chasing men lies in
getting them started to run.-Atchi-
son Globe.
Tolerance is the admission OF the
right of other people to hold wrong
views. Puck.
There is no success so sweet as tho
success achieved by acting against the
advice of our friends. Puck.
"And do you think Binks can fill
the requirements of the place?' ON
IN, well-if it requires Binks, he can"
Puck.
No man will ever amount to much
who labors under the impression that
somebody else is always in his way.
Dallas News.
"Does your wife put up all her can
stuff herself?" Certainly. Self-pres
ervation is the first law of nature. -
Boston Transcript
Priscilla-'I want to get gown to
match my complexion. Perdita-
"Why don't you get hand-painted
one ?"-Brooklyn Life.
He who thinks that imagination is
solely an attribute of youth should
chat while with one OF our ''oldest
inhabitants. Truth.
Caller-"Your son graduated from
college this year, did he not?" Mrs.
Malaprop-"Yes; he was valetudinari-
an of his class. Puck.
There are times when the man who
thinks he fills the public eye merely
occupies the position of a speck of
dust. Milwaukee Journal.
Training will do much for a man;
but it will not teach him never to
neglect to look for the towel before
he fills his eyes full of soap. Puck.
According to Kiplng, the elephant
is gentleman. Nonsense Who ever
heard of gentleman carrying his
trunk himself? Boston Transcript.
The world no doubt owes n great
many people living; but the records
do not show that it ever has assigned
for the benefit of its creditors. Puck.
Though woman, lovely woman
Sometimes fails TO have her way,
You can bet your bolton dollar
That she always have her say.
Indianapolis Journal.
A ten-cent box OF backing, proper
" applied, will command more re-
speet than Il hundred dollar diamond
and rusty footwear on man who is
seeking work. w Washington Star.
''There is more pleasure in giving
than receiving, was the proyerb that
a mother was trying to instill into
youthful mind. "Ihat's true about
castor oil, mother, was the answer
she got. New York Advertiser.
1t has teen said that there is some.
thing not unpleasing to us IN the mis-
fortunes of our friends. While most
likely this is true yet pleasure, at the
misfortunes of oHr enemies, is still do
ing business at the old stand.-Puck.
Naughty Lady (who has Just pur.
chased stamp Must | put it on
myscli?" Postoliice Assistant very
politely )-"Not necessarily, ma'am;
it will probably accomplish more II
youput 1t ON the letter. Newark Led
ger.
He had H queer dream about
you Inst night, Miss Louisa. was
about to give yon kiss, whom sud.
denly We were separated by n river
that gradually grew Ms big as the
Rhine" She--'And was there no
bridge or no boat Fliegende Blaet-
tor
Glow many feet ought TO have to
the line for this poem?" asked the
young man, as he sauntered careless
ly into the editors Office II hardly
know" wearily replied the gloomy
man of shears, "but if hai thou.
sand would gladly give them to
yOu Atlanta Constitution