The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1894-11-20

and my languor and depression of spirits
caused me to picture my own death. 1
had ever mentally arranged the deathbed
scene and tho probable time of my demise,
which I thought would be- either in July
or August. Twas, in fact, in a deplorably
morbid state of mind.
MY reading and music were of course
given up. I had tainted while at the
piano, and the physician whom we had
known since my childhood issued his man
date that I was to do nothing in music
during the summer, and that my reading,
If I read at all. must bc Of the lightest and
most trashy nature. Tho 1st of July found
as again at the seashore-at the place
where we had first met the year before.
Jerome's passion for the ocean was, If
possible, greater b a ever. He seemed
really satisfied and at ease only when he
was near tho water or on it, a liking which
/ did not share, though / was usually his
companion when he went on his sailing
excursions. One evening I had started
alone fec a stroll on the beach, leaving
jerome on the hotel piazza talking bust
ness with a friend. The sun was setting
when he joined me, and we stood in silence
watching it's disappearance below the hori-
zon line.
'sLet us walk down to the little cove
and take a boat and go for a short row."
My heart grew sick with apprehension.
sit is too late,'' / urged. sit would be
dark long before we could get back.
"Not at all. The moon will be up, and,
see, there are others starting out. We shall
lave company about us, even If we do not
know them"
1T feel somehow" I insisted. Gas if I
cannot go on the water tonight"
"Because2' he querisd.
81 cannot tell why, but you know, Jer-
ONE, l 4 never oppose you-just now, how
ever
"Nor must you now" he said, taking
my hands and looking into my eyes with
his kindly, searching gaze.
but the ocean is so large and our boat
so small"
Eyes, but I know the ocean and love it.
We are on the best of terms. You know,
too, that l handle the oars with the skill
of a professional oarsman."
By this time we had reached the cove,
and the man in charge of the boats had
one in readiness for us.
The strong will made me obey, as it al
ways did, and l stepped into the boat. AS
we pushed off l saw a small cloud coming
up out of tho west. Asick fear came over
me, and tho certainty crept into my brain
that the crisis l had been dreading was
hanging over me.
But, / said nothing. Jerome had nc
sympathy with frightened women. The
cloud grew larger and blacker. 1t was in
comprehensive to me that a man with
such cool Judgment and so large an
amount of caution as jerome possessed did
not at once turn back. The other boats
were all coming in, but still we went on.
It grew darker. Tho whole appearance OF
the night seemed CHASTITY to me. The
ocean lay very black, the breathings of the
wind just ripping. the, water. A thin,
shadowy vapGr came and hid the moon.
Now the breeze died out, and the atmos-
phere grew hot.
In the cxtreme west the shade of the
heavens was OF, a dismal state, and the
lightning was Wipking like stars, dancing
madly in among the gloom. / sat motion
less in the middle of the boat, strangely
and unnaturally calm,s watching the
growth of the storm. The gloom stole
gradually into darkness, as though a giant
hand was warily drawing a sable curtain
about rs. TwicerT tried to ask if he were
trying to row l~omeward, but 1 could not
articulSte a word. And now came a vivid
flash of forked lightning. 1t showed me
Jerofaess handsome face, pale as death, the
features set and rigid. TIE crash of thun-
der that followed was terrific.
When the peal had died away, some
thing camc to my crippled consciousness
as decisive and hopeless as a sentence CT
death to a criminal. AVE are doomed, my
loo. ohi1l Int of 1aart rxo oop Hia tnopthpIs
l could not lave gone without you" The
wind rose, and our boat began dancing on
the crests Of the waves as lightly as a bird
ON a clover top. l thought / saw not fan
off a boat larger than ours with some one
in it, but was not sure that it was not a
fancy of mine, born of a dim hope that we
might be saved. A thousand lights danced
before my eyes; my senses were leaving
me; my feet grew icy cold and felt as if
they were in water, which was indeed the
case.
All at once tho boat gave a whirl and
plunge, and | knew no more. When the
morning dawned, clear and cool, l found
myself lying in the boathouse, blanketed
and sliawled, with my mother and Other
friends about me. Why did I not inquire
in regard to the fate of Jerome? / hardly
know, DuG l QlQ not.
"Mr. Croker has just gone up to the
hotel to dry and warm himself, volun-
teered one of my friends. "We begged
him to- go. We assured him we would
send him word directly you regained YOU
consciousness"
After a fortnight had passed, during
which time we had not seen much of each
other, jerome being laid up with symp-
ON of an Illness which was only warded
off, l am sure, by the strength OF his iron
will, I became aware of a distinct change
in my illusions. Ny nature, hitherto
''tumbling about among incongruities, !"
had found its feet and was planted on the
firm ground of consistency.
I began to dsscern with clearing vision
the real future. The pearly dawn had
changed into a shadowy darkness which
showed me images i'll shaped and hideous.
What would my life be-" l repeatedly
asked myself, IF spent under the control
of a temperament SO exacting, demanding
the absorption of my whole being into his?
Simply moral and mental humiliation.
In our long talk on that distressing sub
ject, which I saw his keen perception had
in a measure anticipated, he listened to
my decision and accepted his destiny with
characteristic callnness, and with a pale
face and features set and rigid left me for
ever. / am married to q man who has no
marked intellectual gifts, but who pos
sesses a CHEEKY nature and acquiescent
temper, which create about him an easy,
Indefinite atmosphere, like the haze of In