The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1894-07-05
ONE WAY TO MANAGE.
The Dispelling of a Fond Husbands
Arcadian Dream.

y
fancies," said Mrs. Royal,
leaning back in her chair. Do as he
wishes Berenice."
'' wish / had been named Peggy J" said
the young wife, sobbiug Berenice is a
name for a Princess or a Countess. Peggy
or Polly would do well enough for receiving
orders through the kitchen speaking-tnbe.
And what was the use of making up my
mind to be an old mans darling rather than
young mans slave, when it turns out like
this?"
"But il can turn out just as you say, my
dear" said Mrs. Royal. Give me the par
ticulars. More is to be gained by submission
than revolt. especially when the husband is
much Older han the wife"
Submit" cried young Mrs. Fisher.
"No! | will never do that-neyeri Do
you suppose married a rich man to do the
housework "
"Let me hear the particulars, Berenice," !"
repeated Mrs. Royal.
"WelI, mamma" said young Mrs. Fisher
"you know l went into house full of
servants-exeellent ones, too. Josiah was
very affectionate, as he always is, and all be
asked me to 90 was to tie his cravat, and pin
a rose into his button hole and go to the
door and throw kisses to him of a morning
And after while it was, Get my slippers,
darling. Run for my umbrella Where is
nv andkerchief?' Very tiresome, but to
be expected. Very soon it was, Let us send
the servants away at mealtimes, and wait on
ourselves at table. i is so delicious to be
quite al0ne!'
"Of course / agreed; and now comes this
astonishing prOpC pCstion-dismiss all the ser
wants; live for each otheTi I'm to do the
cooking for him, iron his shirts-black his
boots for all l know! Not for eeonomy's
sake, but TO make life beautiful! Oh, /
shan't endure it. / cannot, mammal /
shall quarrel if he persists! / did not
msrry "a rich man to be cook and laundress.
u"
"Be quiet, darling" said Mrs. Royal.
"Listen 10 me little while. Let him have
lis own way, that you may have yours in
the end. 1t is an amiable caprice; humor
it."
A long conversation between mother and
daughter followed, and the result was that
when Mr.. Fisher returned to his home that
afternoon he found his wife beaming with
smiles; and as she perched herself upon his
knee he ventured to say:
Well, Berenice, my pet have you been
thinking of the ideal life proposed? You
did not seem to appreciate the notion quite
as Thoroughly as / expected this morning"
"Tm afraid did not, darling" said young
Mrs. Fisher. " Bat ran over to mammals,
and she was so enthusiastic over it,"
"Was sheI was she ?" cried the husband
in amazement. /" fa9cied she'd rather op-
pose it,"
"Oh, you don't know mammal said Bere-
nice. Josiah, while we are doing it, why
not get cottage and a COW and chickens?
] would like to milk, and make butter, and
hunt for eggs. And we might have a few
pigs
Well begin by degrees" said Mr.. Fisher.
Il suppose we'll have to. Josiah" said
Berenice. But I'm wild 10 take things In
hand. Pay the servants up to the end of
their months tomorrow, and pack them of,
and you'll have nice homemade cooking
right away"
"Dear met" said he. "Ishall spend most
of my time watching you at work, in a little
white apron, with your sleeves rolled up"
"Oh, how nice!" she cried, kissing him.
oh, make haste about it, JOSIAH"
Josiah obeyed. By the following night
the servants had all departed. Only Ber-
eDiee remained in the house, though she bad
a visit from her mother. The table was set
for grand dinner, and as Mr. Fisher opened
the door small figure appeared at the head
of the stairs.
who's ihat?" be cried.
Your little wife" was the reply. Bere-
niees face was adorned with smears and
smndges, so were her hands, so was her
apron.
Some accident, darling?" he cried, in
alarm.
"No, love-" said Berenice. "Why do you
ask ?"
He did not like to tell her that she had
dirty face, SO be laughed, and as she threw
herself into his arms, embraced her like
very knight Of courtesy.
Retiring TO his own room to look in the
glass, he found that the three kisses that
she had imprinted Oh his cheeks and brow
had left their mark there He put his hand
TO the polished space on the top of his head
and found it sticky, and his usually i'm
maculate shirt-boSOm had the marks of 10
tiny black fingers upon it.
1t took him some time to make his toilet,
and when he descended dinner was on the
table, and Berenice was striking the gong
in ear-splitting fashion.
was so afraid you would let your
Wifelets first dinner grow cold" she said.
"Not likely, love-" be replied. "But don't
you need glance in the mirror?"
"Oh, / shall put all vanity aside, my
dear" she answered, "and simply be domes-
tic. If you are pleased, there is no one else
10 see, you know-besides / must wait on
you. Will you carVe?"
Il? Oh, certainly" said Mr.. Fisher
Certainly. This is D.
Soup, love-" said Mrs. Fisher "Of
course We have soup i served everything
at one time. But We have the courses all
the same"
The fluid which Mr.. Fisher tasted some
what resembled dishwater; but he forced a
smile, and thought he would " try the fish -
The next instant a creature of the sea Law
before him, much as il came from the water.
save that it was covered with very rancid
butter-sauce. 1t had not been opened; its
head, tail, and scales remained intact
1t does not seem quite right, somehow, !"
said Berenice
Next time have it cleaned, love-" said
her husband, playfully. "And after all,
beef is the great reliance Where is the
beef?"
Before you, dear" said Mrs. Fisher.
Shall turn the gas up higher2"
The husband made no remark. He turned
a ball of burned bone and meat about with
his fork, tried to cut few scraps, gave it up
asa bad job, and sighed.
HOh, Josiah, doesn't il suit you ?" said
Berenice, with pleading glances. as it
oyerdGDe?r
"I'm afraid it is little said Mr.. Fisher
But I've GO doubt the next course will
amply compensate. What have yon given
me, my angel?"
Apple pie" said Berenice, handing him q
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