The Washington times., 1894-12-16
THE GIRL WHO is OUT"
Rules that a Dchutante Should Observe
if She Wants TO BE Hc!lc.

What a thirsty longing every school girl
has for that mysterious being "out," which
means such magnificent privileges and posi-
bilities, and yet after the first roses OF the
coming out tea have faded, alter the first
bushes have cooled a BIT, and that erst wild
beating OF the excited young heart has been
a little stilled, a good many girls who are
ont this winter End, as other girls have found
before tn, m that the deSutnnte has her
trials and perplcxities, too. Such lot OF
them as there seem 10 be! One never sus-
pected for example, while cne was mere
snip Of II .hooi g.rl, that it WAS so ny 20 be
such hard thing 10 find conversation.
In dreams OF future Gals aad dinher par
lies that were INDUCED in when one should
have neen studying grammar ono always I'M
ayined oneself con yersinG with tie airy bril-
Iancy of one Of the Duchess blonde ana
witty heroiBes or preserving one oI those
coldiy fascinating silenees that III novels al
WAYS prove so irresistible 10 the very best
parti in The book And now. 10 and behold!
il one OF those proud silenceS is INDUCED In.
one FARMER lromptly excuses himself and
never comes back for another d;iAce the whole
evening, and an attempt at III. y DadinHge gen
erRiiy results in covering ones lead IN the
cold gray light OF the morning after the Gall
and squiTming In repeuiant anguish al the
siliy. vapil sound thai persI.iaGe has repeated
10 ones SELF at this uncheeriu' hour-
There oncs MRS giri who carr ed ihe story
of tnis particular for of WretcEe !neas 20
Young married friend, who. thou IA she hei
The finest baby in the world, could yet re-
memlcr with perfect ease her own debut four
years be ore
..Ies. indeed" said the friend cheeriuly.
al remember quite we'll all tie silly things
said | often cried over them and itlt
could never look tbs people who had listened
TO them in the face again. But I'll tel you
What-things that would sound fearfnliy silly
in Il person OF my age. married and with
baby ami all are Just thought TO le deli
eiously ianocent and girliSh in a debutan,e.
Pink cheeks aul iimpie5 carry of so Much
After all, one must learn to talk, and prac-
tice is The only way to learn. One must maze
mistakes at first; you Will improve every
| day: don't let yourself toe discouraged; your
blunders don sound hall As la 10 Others as
they do 10 YOU" After which that particular
| debutante went away comi0rted.
There's another perp.HXity the debutante
| is going to be confronted with, md tnat's the
secret OF what makes popularity. She sees
that pretty girls ana clever girls and rich girs
| all have excellent chances 10 begin with, bat
| that ey, those with all these things i'll their
favor don invariably make n success. whi!e
occas onally gir.s who Aren't really pretty, not
witty at all nor rich ether coms in and make
| a trenen luus success OF it right over the
| heads OF girls with the qualities they lack
| she wants 10 now why that Is. Well. tie
| best way tn Ind out is to a-E one Of the men
| who dam e with that sort OF girl as macy
times rs she VIII say yes durin; the evening.
What do you see in Nary Jones? you
say SIZE is not pretty and shes not very
| clever"
Then the young man will look at you as il
! he suspected you were not only bad tenn
| pefel but a Little Jealous OF Mury as we'll and
/ a. Oh h. Il r. r,f.rlt-
but she's an aw uliy attract.ys look NJ g-r!,
don you think so? and th' n she's such a
| geo. sort.
kad when You come to aralyze what n
| good sur,' means you II ilnd that it imbi; s
| Mary Jones is oily and gay and good lem
| ue-cd ana very unseIfish g5oGt tries. Sh
| coesu't say nasty things about other g!rs;
she S willing 10 let everybody share in hel
| fun she never rlays any / tile ut an social
| tricks; she is not taken up with herself a the
F., white and size IS honest, genuine, f:uak and
| kindly. She is the Ii ! who likes to talk TO
old gentlemen 90 give item tie pleasure Of 4
| Ii. OF CAV gosS D with a fresh Young girl; SI,e
takes time TO be civil 10 tie old ladies; she
symrathizes with tashfUl girls ycuage thar
herself and is good between whites 10 ayk-
! ward hoys. She doesn't danSie about IN hot
| rooms all cay nunehing onions and read-
ing novels 1 ut is full OF interests aad occu-
pations and / as the Luoyancy and vigor oi
llEE DFtlID ONCE EsabAiEN piE4b5. Inc liil-
Dorthnt part Is fnat she doeSn pretend 10 be
| any Of these things, but really is what she
seems TO lie. The dclutante Will learn III
time as every one does learn. that " hie It IS
very easy to pretend il is very difficult 10 de-
ceive people with prctenses. Our friends al
| know our real characters pretty well, AMI the
| way TO make eope think we are good tenn
| Tered and kindly is TO be good tempered and
| kindly.
Another lesson the pretty debutante i:
| learning while she Tits about the bathrooms
like a frisky young butterfly. is tie lesson o.
aGapiaLility. 4 little experience teaches hel
| that even though she Tas the c!eyerest gil il
! school and the valedictor.an OF her class it i
! best not 10 talk philosophy or discuss striou;
| problems between the figures OF the cotiilion
She will have plenty Of proper occas oas to
show what she knows. lut in the ballroom
su h 10: les are heavy an unsuitable, aud sht
] had much letter content herself With merry
! give and take of nonsense and no;hIngs. SC
that 9Th ng is lost whom the cauce cores Il
br,ak IN upon sentence. Cr the GetutaHt'
! kaplu rs 20 be of the purely butterfly order o.
mind she will soon learn when she chances tC
sit beside some grave, elderly nan at dinner
that though her innocent CHATTER may amase
him for the moment he wax easily tire OF it
and her lest plan will be to listen 10 lin in
/ stead He will be sure 10 en- cy talking 10
pair of bright young eyes that give respectful
attention 10 what he says.
There is really, when one mes 10 think o.
il, 10 cad of tEiTg5 that this apparently cart
free girl debutanta must be busy with learning
Cneis 10 drop mCSt Of her school girl slang anC
be rather mo. o careful with her sentences. An
other is 10 steer carefully between the DANCES
0 being "giddy Susher" or t!resome yoaOs
prig. To learn that notes must he answered
at once aud al engagements ,acefuily kept
even if they happen not 10 be amusing ones
She must Learn. 100. the hard lrsson OF govern
ing hert ngGe. and being discreet in her talk
lest she ALLEVIATE friends and get herself into
difficulties, which is perhaps, the most diff
cult lesson OF all.
Then there is the lesson to be learned 0
not looking ored every time one feels thu
sensation lest one wound the feelings o
kindly people who are uniucky enough to b;
dull. 1t will be necessary 10 teach hersel
how to be rid OF bores without being rude
which is whole art in itself, and again no"
TO meet all impertinences with dignity, ant
how to relieve the shynos5 or tinid people
with her own ealm confidence. Let the debu
tante never think that lessons ended with the
closing of schoolroom door; indeed, now tha
she is n gay young woman in society they ar
really Just beginning, aad will take NOR
study and are far more difficult to learn thar
any she ever found in books. E. B. w.
Netting Malay TaPirs.
Col. Charles b. Hicks has arrived in thi