The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1894-06-06
sessIon Of the departmcnt. but the la,tnr |

Dccn made on this matter, but " is who'll
~ deiusion. Claims are brought up
In the department again and again with
each succeeding administration. They
are most numerous In the Interior and
Treasury.
Some OF the cranks have a poetic turn.
one Of them wrote 10 Secretary Smith
the other day. saying: Being olsen
gagged, II occurs TO me to. pen brief
knowest there are thoughts that burn
the brain and scar the soul far more
than blazing coal" And so on for
dozen pages Of closely written manu-
script. An old soldier asks TO be pro-
vided with a frst-class. well-improved
ana furnished Email fruit and truck farm.
he offers 10 pay for Il with the net
income of the property In ten years, pro-
vided II rs near a good market
lunatic In Nebraska inquiries; Nv nat
is the best form OF law to regulate the
American industry OF chopping wood
with r. razorY' IL Is nlder crank
who. referring TO a patent incloses TO the
| Secretary OF the Interior a chronological
| chart Of himself to show what an IN
| ventive genius he u.s. Another man de-
| sires TO know If there is any law py
! which an honorably discharged soiaer
| can withdraw his discharge and sen u
| for cash. one correspondent wants TO
| know whore he can procure owning
| rod for use In finding money pnflen III
| Texas during the Mexican war Another
! I'm Pennsylvania asks TO know ABOUT
a reward which the government is SUP
! posed to have offered for the discovery
| OF a tin mine In his county.
Recently man who wanted n.l pace 'be Sen ~
! n land Office out west addressed tne sec
| rotary Of the Interior lie said that ne
/ supposed IL was best to be friendly ana
| not too stin I'm addressing the Secretary.
! Following out this idea. he began win
| Dear Ioke" and used the utmost free
| dom of style throughout his letter, NO
answer was returned. Three weeks later
! a telegram from him was received by
| the Secretary. 1t read simply: "Hoke, l
| start for Washington. overland, on one
! horse Hold Office till / arrive. lie mas
not arrived yet. and pothing further
has been heard from him. lnnumerable
| people have written TO Hoke smith
claiming ldnship with him on the strength
! OF similarity of last names.
There are people all over the country
| who imagine that Il IS part Of the duty
/ Of the Acknowledgement Of the United
! states TO give free legal advice TO any
| body that asks for it, For example,
weeks board and have $l2 due me for
| carpenter work. can the boardng-house
Keeper attach my wages| To all such
communications. reply is made by a cir
cuiar which states that the Attorney
! General is not obliged by law 10 fur
nish information 70 anybody except Inc
President and officers OF the cabinet. MOI
| even n Senator. by the way, could demand
Information from him. though he would
probably grant 1t as matter OF cour-
| teSy.
Appeals are often addressed to the
President for pardons in cases where APP
| plications have been made in vain TO the
| governors Of States. or course, Mr..
| Cleveland has no jurisdiction over crimi-
nails convicted under State laws. one such
! appeal reached .he White House the other
| day. II was written in behalf Of a col
Ored man who languished in jail owing
| TO an iil-restrained appetite for other
| peoples chickens. The letter quoted
| poem about little bird pining for free.
! dom IN cage. It ended by saying: "Wil
I Ia ia hot no
| cage door, and let the blackbird fly
regular correspondent of the De-
partment, Of state signs himself Ezra.
| King of Heaven, No. 3S:2:2S. Perhaps that
! Is the number OF his mansion in the
| skies. At all events. his fad is postal
cards. He will write a letter on twenty
| lively, and putting his signature on the
! last one. Sometimes he mails letters
/ using small advertising pictures. gummed
| to the envelopes in lieu Of postage samps.
| What he writes Is mostly incoherent
| but il is intended 10 announce the Issuing
| of edicts by himself for the government
| Of the country.
| Whenever any International complication
! occurs. the Department of State gets
| lots Of advice. On such occasions race
antagonisms among adopted Americans
| come out strongly. Irish-Amsricans want
| Uncle Sam 10 jump on England. French
| Americans do not believe in tciera ting
| German interference in Samoa. and so
| It goes Another regular correspondent Of
! the Department Of State is a person who
calls himself the Old Man on the Hud-
son. He complains that the poor are
/ being ruined by machinery.
| People apply for pensions on queer
| grounds-for instance, because q rather
| distant relative was killed in the var.
I Or perhaps the applicant will say that
| she is first cousin Of an old soldier re-
| Gently dead. and that his money allow
| ance from the government ought 10 be
| paid to her one woman recently de-
| manded a pension on the ground that
-l- Il TTnfc -,rl rrerI
! an attack Of smallpox. contracting the
! disease herself. If that was not fighting
! in the war she thought it came pretty
close TO II.
All sorts of curious inventions are
offered 10 the War and Navy Depart
mcnts. one Of the latest is for covering
a vessel with a sort of hCneycomb armor
made of heXagonal pockets. These pock-
cts are designed to receive any projec-
tiles which hit the ship, catching them
as a base ball catcher takes the ball
How the device would prevent the pro-
jectile from piercing is not satisfactorily
explained Another plan is for protect
ing vessels with steel chains. Yet anOth-
er genius proposes to propel ship by
utilizing the. power Of the water closing
up after It," The notion is to take in
water through the sides Of the vessel
and pour IL ont at the stern. Another
new idea Is to provide soldiers with
aluminium chains to hang from the nell
met TO the shoulders. This would afford
protection against saber strokes. Yet
another i5ca is chain armor Of alumni
mum.
Inventors often offer TO the ordnance
board Of the army ideas for new guns,
projectiles &c. Reply IS made always
with a circular asking them for complete
drawings In three cases out Of four
nothing more is heard from them, for
the reason that their conceptions have
never got beyond the first stage Of de-
velopmcnt and the production Of draw
ings and specifications is too much for
them. Inventors are very apt TO become
abusive when the government fails 10
accent their suggestions.
one Of the oldest letters received at
the War DEPARTMENT was from a pious
Young man OF military tastes. He de-
sired to have put in modern military
terms the Bible description Of the Exodus.
showing how many men there were among
the Israeltes. the proper formation for
the army of chosen people on the march,
the quantity OF food required for forty
DAYS travelling in the wilderness. numt CT
of wagons needed &c 1t should not
be forgotten TO mention the crank who
has devised method of drilling SOL
dlers four times faster than by the
process now employed. In this day OF
rapld-hring weapons. be considers, there
should be n corresponding quickness in
eyolutions on the field.-Rene Bache, in
!. tor