davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
A Mortuary Joke.

81 have recently had a strange expert.
ence," said gentleman Yesterday.
"Wha: was it? Well, tho other day
met a lady acquaintance on the street,
and after the exchange of the usual
greetings she proceeded to condole with
me over the death of my wife. / was
dumfounded over her pathetic and bro
fuse sympathy. When l recovered nv
senses. ventured to enlighten the lady
by assuring her that my wife was in the
land of the living, well and hearty. The
lady was astonished to learn that Mrs.
-, an intimate friend of my wife, who
had told her, could have been SO mis-
taken. In less than an hour after cor
recting this error l met another mutual
friend, and she had also been told by
Mrs. - that my wife had gone to that
undiscovered country.
During .iat afternoon and the day
following q dozen people expressed their
sympathy over my loss, and strange to
say all of them had learned the story
from Mrs. -. / of course told my
better half, and we determined to call on
Mrs. - for an explanation. 1t was
early in the evening when in answer to
the ringing of the doorbell Mrs. -
opened the door. She pretended to be
startled by my wife's presence and
screamed: Why, Mary, can this be you?
thought you We're dead
'SoIhaveh heard from dozen sources,
responded Mary, 'and want you to ex-
plain
Explain? Why, that is easy. You
told me weel. ago that if you We're alive
you would come out ON Wednesday and
spend the day with me. You didn't come;
hence l concluded that you were dead
and said so to those acquaintances /
met
1.-The women kissed, and Mary called
Mrs. - mean rogue and SO termi-
mated the mortuary joke, in which
failed to discover the humor. Louis
vile Courier-Jo Journal.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
The Best Kind of Exercise.

There is no single exercise which COM
bines so many health giving qualities as
riding. 1t is peculiarly valuable to
children, for it is the most certain and
gentle developer of the back and stom-
ach muscles and imparts tone to the
entire system that cannot possibly be
attained in any other way. Even foot
ball, the hardest of all games, falls
short of having the same invigorating
effect on the boy. If this be true for
the boy--and such it is now generally
admitted to below much more neces-
sary is riding to the young girl who has
no game but lawn tennis, which fails to
exercise the most important parts of her
body?
Few boys and girls. and almost as few
men and women, think twice of the val
ne of different kinds of exercise to them,
or would know much about it if they
did think. Any exercise of course. mod
erately taken, is better than none, but
the exercise which acts upon arms and
legs only is of. not one-half the value of
that which acts on the body. the chest,
stomach and back. When, then, an ex-
ercisc is found that acts on all, its value
is apparent without further argument.
-Harper's Young People.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

rison. was candidate for treasurer
Of Marion county. and as the roll call
proceeded he discovered that he was
being slaughtered by the A. p. A.
Much excited he pushed his way to
the stage and said:
81 see from the call of this conven-
ton that there is no hope of my re-
ceiving this nomination, and l have
no aching in my heart for the honor.
| can provide for my family. l am
an American CHEERS and yells). even
though there be some who see fit to
criticise me for worshiping accord
ing to the constitution of our coun-
try. (wild cheers mingled with
hisses.) Although there be some
men who, by means of a secret or
ganization. stab a man in the back
(hisses and cheers, followed by a wild
scene. during which Rhody stood
with extended hand. ready to pro-
ceed)-I am better republican than
any Of you who hiss me, and / repeat
| have been victim of treachery on
the part OF secret organization. l
could not get nomination at the
hands of the republican party in
Marion county without bonding N.Y.
self to every man who protested to
be my friend"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
Cont rolled by the a. T.. A.

Ii is becoming more apparent every
day that the republican party is de-
generating into n know-nothing or
ganization. At first the tendency in
that party to make religion test for
Office was sporadic. but now it is very
general. Reports of conventions and
results OF elections the country over
show the dcspicabic tactics of the A.
J.. "A. That there are members of
this secret oath-bound organization
incorporating as democrats. there is
no doubt, but they are comparatively
few in comparison with those afliliat-
ing with the republicans. In fact
evidence is multiplying that the A.
PA. are in a decided majority in the
councils Of the republican party. and
that they virtually control it. Any
one ut all acquainted with the ,olit-
ical situation in Rock Island, knows
that IL would tie futile for n rcpubli-
can Catholic to cudeavor TO secure n
nomination in n city or county con-
vention. He would have no show
whatever. and for that matter it
would he just rs well that he hadn't,
rs he would he numerically
''knifcd" at the polls by the A. p. A.
Not only are Catholics debarrcd from
recognition, but those who are not
actual members of the secret society
or else in sympathy with it. receive
no better treatment. At lndianapo-
lis last week there was n practical
demonstration Of the power and dom
nation of the A. i. A.. which, while
conspicuous on account of the prom
inenee Of the rejected candidate. is
an event of daily occurrence in rcpub.
lican con ventions. Rhody Shicl, u
personal friend of ex-President Har-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
Sensible Treatment of Corns.

Light shoes, short shoes and clumsy
shoes produce corns by COMPRISING,
cramping and rubbing against the joints
A great many of these pedal blemishes
are hereditary. In any case it is a good
plan to suppress them. Every medicine
merchant has variety of ''cures," and
nearly all give temporary relief. A
poultice made of vinegar soaked bread
crumbs will cure little corn in one
night. 1t is not advisable to let corn
grow. Either rub down the formation
with pumice stone or remove it with q
knife. A little opposition will discour-
age it. provided sensible shoes are worn.
In pedicuring, as in manicuring, the feet
should be soaked in hot water and as
much of the waste material brushed and
rubbed off as posslble.-New York
World.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
ALTON will have an auspicious Nav

ALTON will have an suspicious May
day this year. The first will witness
the formal opening of the new steel
bridge across the Mississippi there.
and the city has sent out handsome
ly engraved invitations to many
prominent people to he present.
Speeches will lie made by Governors
Stone and Altgeld. Congressman
Champ. Clark and Forman and nu-
merous other prominent men. There
will be grand banquet and parade
and festivities Of all kinds.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
witchcraft In the Nineteenth Century.

At the Yeovil borough petty sessions
on Tuesday Frederick Terrell, bus
driver, was bound over in his own recog-
nizanco of e10 to keep the peace for six
months for having threatened Harriet
Carcw on March "a. The defendant had
gone to the complainant, accused her Of
being an ''old witch" and asked her to
take spell of his sister. He said lie
would beat her brains out and throw
her over wall if she would come out of
her house. He also accused her of stay
ing up all night and burning stuff with
which to bewitch people. Since then
people had called witch" after her in
the streets.-Ilfracombe Gazette.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

l.. V. ECKHAHT has announced his
aspiration in the direction of the re-
publican nomination for sheriff, and
the Union holds up the candidates
career ~ marshal under Mayor Muir
dock n a sample of his official elf
cheney. The Union is not particu-
larry partial to Eckhart's success. but
it might have adopted a less cruel way
of disposing of the candidate.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

dreds of citizens of Dayenno-.
Island and Moline who bar@ hoek
public statements Concern. made
value of the system. lie
Home Treatment.
The system OF treatment by NAL q. rs-...
oy Dr'. sfaeknouse and Daniel he. Gee, a.,
dreds of cures OF sufferers residing. IL
and unable to consult these .1srf,-.-.., -''s
at their Office. The institute, sy.-.,,. =, ~
tom blanks devised by DR.. >tsslbgr.-....l''s '-i-
physicians 10 diagnose The most rou91.,-.,. 't
prescribe the proper remedio, ana - '-'e
pieic detailed instructions flr be u.s - ''a
icines and apparatus. 'a--.
Medicines Free.
Charges for treatment and services ,,u.-.-..
crate. Consultation and ,zsm.r,..-t -oa
ofh,e hoar-, a. N. IN en- to4.-f
M; Sundays 5 ito ip.m.,1ry. =
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
A STUDENT OF AUGUSTANA
Frank Tornhom Tells Remarkable Story of Conn.,,
Restoration After Four Years Suffering Wb
Drs Stackhouse and Daniel Have Accom-,
plshed in His Case.

Mr.. Frank Tornholm, whose por-
trait is herewith presented. is a pro-
gressive and popular student of Au-
gustana college at Rock Island. He
has many friends on both sides of
the river who will be pleased to
hear of his rapid recovery and COM
plete restoration to health after hav-
ing been for the past four years
afflicted with troubles of catarrhal
nature,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

sweet Is pleasure after pain" saws Dryden,
while foUiG tells US that "a man of pleasure is
nan OF pains" Possibly so, no doubt, man
must sometimes take pains if h would secure
pleasure. But "hen pains take the man there is
no pleasure 70; him. If be wants pleasure let
him take pains - get Dir. PIerce's Golden Medi-
cal Discovery. Il is certain cure FOR all dis
eases OF the blood and skin. II should he tied
by all sfllictod with letter, sal.-rheum, scald
head, St. Anthony ti;e, crysipelas, rng-worIns,
p IMPLIES, blo;ches, spots, eruptious, boi's. car
hurclcs, sore eyes, rough skin, scrofulous sores,
swellings. bio d-taiuts, affection of the kin,
threat and bones, Ulcers. of the liver stomach.
kidneys and lungs, PuiIty the bl- cd. and health
will return
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
ARGUS BUSINESS DIRECTORY

OOOtU1OO UtlI6OuVuuJ
r-~A~~->~~~~~~~~~~~
BOOKS, WALL PAPER, ETC.
Cramrton R, 17e5 Second avenue.
RESTAURANT.
Allan. L, 1868 Second avenue.
FURNITURE AND CARPETS.
Cordes, b F, 1902 Second avenue.
GLOVES AND FURs.
Bennett, Geo, 1905 Secol d avenue.
MERCHANT TAILOR.
Emig, ", 1907 Second avenue.
CIGARS AND TOBACCO.
Beselin, II 1903 Second avenue.
BAKERS.
Munro, DE Rue g. Anderson, 2a6 Market Square.
DRUGGISTS.
Thomas, II. 1880 Second avenue.
'peidel, C,!16t7 Second avenue.
PLUMBERS AND GAS FILTERS.
Blake Burke, 1910 Third avenue.
WALL PAPER, ETC.
Adams Wall Paper Co. slOSl4 Twentieth street
GROCERS.
Buncher, Chas A, 22l Twentieth street.
Hess Bros. 1920 Second avenue.
Brooks & Thiermar, Sc0l Fifth avenue.
Kuschmenn, Robt, 22O1 Fourth avenue.
Long, c j, second avenue and Nineteenth street
Browncr s. Co. 1891 Fifth everue.
UNDERTAKEN.
Knox. B F, 400 Twentieth street.
HARDWARE, STOVES AND MANTELS
Noftsler, j T, 1903 Twentieth STREET.
LAUNDRY.
Parkef's Laundry. 1924 Third avenue.
c d, 22l and .23 Eighteenth street.
BREwERIES.
Rock Island Brewing company.
MEAT MARKET.
Schroeder Hans. 81 Twentieth street.
Tri-City Packing and Provision Co, Att and Goth.
JEwELER AND OPTICIAN.
Remser, d Son, 1877 Second avenue.
MILLINERY.
Blackburn & Cc,sl7l9 Second avenue.
BOOTS AND SHOES.
Bottom Shoe Store, 16 Second avenue.
REAL ESTATE AND INSURANCE.
Harris. Geo W d. % Seventeenth
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

RoBEEr INGERsoLL. saws an cx-
change. has been going through ILL.,
nois the past week or so. lecturing.
addressing political meetings in the
interest OF the devil and the republic
can party. Bob. the goblins'll-git-yu-
ef-yu-don't watchout.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

THE democracy of the Fifteenth
congressional district will hold a
convention at Monmouth July IL,
Tor the purpose of nominating can
didate for congress.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

j. W. SCorT. of the Chicago Her.
aid. who has been on n visit to Cairo.
in Egypt, saws the streets there are
picturesque, hut do not come up to
the streets OF Cairo that were seen in
Chicago last summer.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
erhe Silver ronrued.-

Speech is silver. Though he. is
not silver man in congress, the
Hon. Bourke Cochran is a great ora
tor. Rarely has been afforded more
striking scene on such occasion than
that at the last national democr attic
convention, when leading a minor ity,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

CONGRESSMAN BRECKINRIDGE has
missed so many quorums this ses-
sion Of congress that he should give
the new tellers no trouble during the
remainder Of his term.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
CuArNCry NJ Drrrw m,de A., :,

CuArNCEY NJ. DErEw made lest
with st. Louis reporter about pres
isential possibilities and forthwith it
was autographed that Chaunccy was
a candidate for the republican nomi-
nation. Now the good doctor is busy
denying it and relieving the sus-
Pense of Mckinley. Reed and Harri-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

he made Il splendid struggle to pre-
vent the. nomination of Tammanv's
supposed enemy. There is Won
derful power and magnetism about
the man, and in congress he has well
sustained the reputation he achieved
before he went to Washington. A
splendid portrait OF him, accompanied
by the story of his life, is but one of
the many attractive features in
americas Greatest Men and Wom-
en-" There is no other like it. 1t
appears in IS parts, of Is pages each,
upon each page a splendid portrait,
10 by IA inches in dimensions. Send
three coupons accompanied by 10
cents to the Office of The ARGUS and
secure this splendid work. There is
none other like it. and it can be OBJ
tanned in no other way
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

EDITOR WATTERsoN says demo-
cratic traitors should be shot. But
that would save them from Benedict
ArnOld's fate.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

The severest cases of rheumatism
are cured by Hoods Sarsaparilla,
the great blood purifier. Now is the
time to take it. Hoods cures.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

An Ohio newspaper man pretends
10 see n great similarity between the
WAYS of Colonel Breckenridge and Par
mel.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

Gov ALTGELD is not expected home
from the south for at least two weeks
yet. His health is steadily improv-
inT.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
SATURDAY, ArRn 21, 1894.

COMPRESSED gas is being used as a
mode of stree. car propulsion in Ger
many
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

CAPTAIN ANsoN's men did not lose
the first game of the base ball sea-
son. IL rained and they didn't play.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

at was four years ago." says Mr..
Tornholm," that / was first troubled
with catarrh. 1t seriously affected
nv eyes which became red, waterv
and sore. This symptom grew rapid
ly worse until the past year it
greatly interfered with nv studies.
/ was obliged to wear glasses all the
time.
The services of Drs. Stackhouse
and Daniel were often recommended
to me by patients whom they had
cured of similar maladies. recent
ly placed my case in their hands and
rejoiced to note an improvement al
most from the first day My progress
has steadily continued. I am now
able to dispense with my glasses by
day light and am feeling very much
better in every way. All symptoms
of catarrh have wholly disappeared
AS the treatment of Drs. Stackhouse
and Daniel accomplishes ali that the
physicians claim for ii, ] am pleased
to add my endorsement to the hum
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

April 10 and "a, May s and %. at
one fare for the round trip. Tickets
limited to thirty (S0) days from date
of issue; choice OF routes offered
stop-overs permitted within certain
territory. Detail information upon
application to
Il. SToCKHoUsE. G.. T. A.
Depot, foot of Twentieth street
Rock Island, III.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
CENTS

Nobby and durable tans,
all the late fads. Yes,
we have them. Call and
see the prettiest of the
pretty patterns in all sorts
of materials, that We can
guarantee. If you have
trouble in being fitted.
consult us.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21

Daily. bDaily except Sundav. +GoinC Nor h
Going North. -Go:nC south and cast. sCarr- cs
pas >cngers 20 CEDAR hapids ony.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1894-04-21
COIOred Shoes

Greatest variety of brown
and tan shoes and Ok
fords in all the leading
correct spring styles from
the east in
Ladies' and Children's.
We have the ever pop
ular razor, west-end and
new narrow square toes.
They are beauties. Widths
A A A to E.
The Portland daily press., 1894-09-01
THE JAP.
He is Fighter, Strong, Finely Trained
and Patriotic.


Physically and morally the japanese
are giants, but intellectually they are
plgmies as compared with the Chinese.
Their strength is not due entirely to
climatic conditions, but their mode of
living enters largely as an element OF
their physical construction. AsJapanese
youth is not brought up to be a dandy
or dude like the Chinese lad. but is
reared in an atmosphere of rigorous &C.
tivity and primitive simplicity. Con-
slant execrise of the muscles is 1ne OF
the highest virtues. In Japan there ex-
lists an utter disregard of dress. Fire.
qaently in mid winter japanese youths
rush into the streets attired in nature
garb, with the exception OF towel
about their loins. Laboring men work
out of doors all day wearing only tnln
cotton garment. Neither virtue nor I'M
morality is recognized. Young men anu
maidens battle together with manure
simplicity in the same pool, absolutely
under, and yet this spectacle excltes no
comment. The matter of dress is entire
ly a consideration of comfort and not OF
appearance. Tine japanese are the most
polite people on the earth, saving posi-
bly, the French race. Fatrlotlsm is IN
stilled into the mlna OF the young
Japanese and he is taught to revere bis
ruler beyond any other known being.
The island is so small that in case of a
threatened invasion this patriotism and
blind confidence in the Mikado would
make unit of the available fighting
force. Ii the traditional bravery Of the
ancient inhabitants of Japan IS still pos
sessed by the modern Japanese, all the
armies of China will not be able to con-
quer her until every soldier is cut down
and the army is obliterated. According
TO Chinese history, before. the landing of
their refugees upon Japanese shores,
the armies of the Tong dynasty of China
tried to land and capture the island.
The natives fought SO desperately that
after the steel points of their spears were
dulled by contact with the enemy, they
hastily drew their knives and cut the
bamboo spear stocks to sharp point
and used them furiously upon their foes
until they were almost annihilated by
the onslaught of superior numbers OF
the invaders. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The Portland daily press., 1894-09-01

Mr.. George Sweetsir has purchased the
Hitchcock house on East Main street.
DR.. Gerow has moved from Elm street
| to the tenement in the brick block on
Main street over W. FL. Marston's store.
Mrs. W. W. Thomas is visiting friends at
Locke's Mills
Mr.. and Mrs. A. D. Seabury are visiting
their daughter, Mrs. Will Dyer, of East
Weymouth. Mass.
Mrs. A. E. Cakes and son spent last week
with friends in Gray.
Mrs. Sylvander Jefferds and daughter of
Milford. Mass, are guests OF DR.. and
Mrs. j. M. Bates.
Mr.. Lunt OF New York, is visiting Mr..
and Mrs. E. l.. Marston.
Mr.. John Myers, who was SO severely
injured in pulp mill this week, is re-
ported as doing well.
Geo. Taylor has SO far recovered as to
be on the street Wednesday.
During the heavy shower Sunday
| morning the lightning played tine
| mischief with the elect-ics. 1t burned
out two transformers and IA street lights
| on the lower circuit, and opened the
lower circuit in two places, so that no
street lights were possible Sunday nlght.
and superintendent Hammond had sew
eral very busy days to straighten out
affairs. 1t followed the electric lght
wire into Mr.. Edward Moxey's stable on
EledSanU street, ran Gown poSu oiAu
through closet, scattering its contents,
then through the side of the building.
tearing off the clapboards; it also went
into two houses near by, but dld very
little damage. Three trees and teie.
| graph pole shattered completed the 1ls'
of casualties on Pleasant street.
| Mrs. r. P. Greedy spent several oays
| this week with her sister, Mrs. RUFUS
| Rounds, of Auburn.
Mrs. L. Taber, left THURSDAY 1o'
| Stoneham, Mass.
| Sebago.
There is to be special town meeting
on Thursday, September 9th, to SET
| whatEaction the town willItake in regare
to providing means to purchase thu
schoolhouse lot of Luther Fitch fol
erecting an academy building according
| to the terms of one of the two bequest
| left this town two and one-half year.
ago One provides that the income o
$4,000 goes to support Sunday schools
| the income of the remainder of the es
tate for the support of an academic
| school, thestown to furnish a suitable
building for such purpose.
The Portland daily press., 1894-09-01

W1I1IsroN CHURCH. Corner Thomas and
Carroll streets. Rev. Dwight NJ. Pratt Pastor
Preaching at s SO e. r. as s1a M y the
at $50 p. m.
WoopFoRps CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH
Rev. p. P. wilson pastor Morning service at
1890. Sunday school at close Of morning SER
vice, Evening service at Up. m. cordial
welcome to all. tt
row s. Bean. pastor Preaching at 1890 a. m.
and Z. 80 D. M. by the pastor. Sunday school at
ll45 a. M So% nsfinsas Il e. m Subject in
evening. "Being too Busy to attend to Bus-
ness. eg5
Young Mems Rooms, So. Portland Rich
ard FLOSS will preach at $50 p. m.