Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-06-28

hcv yo'r shirts done up ut Il steam laundry,
but sooner or later it would be diskivered
dat 90 was liar. 1 hcv fggered it out
dat il am bout fO'ty times as hard to eX
PLAN away one lie as it am TO tell 10
truths Yo' kin say dat yo' was mem
her OF dis club, an dat yo' could allus be
depended on to second de moshun or move
to adjourn. but doan' go much furder. BY
C4aimin dat yo' run de Limckiln club yo'
might be h'istcd up to de top of de pole fur
n week or so, but den would come de drop
an de jar.
lit will be well fur yO' to let it be
known dat yo' respect truth an honesty,
but doan' he disappointed If dcy dOan' git
out dc brass band to welcome yo'. Even If
dey believed yo', it would be no novelty,
an yo' mustn't feel hurt if dcy refuse to
take yo'r word widout proofs behind 1t
or want cash down fur bacon. We hev a
heap of honest, truthful mon in dis ken
try, but can't see dat dey hev any extra
luck in gettin de front seats ober de oddCr
class. Be honest, but not too honest. Be
truthful. but also be noncommittal. It's
n heap safer to cquivocate dan to gin n
man yo'r honest opinyun on de aige of his
boss or dc worthlCSsnesS of his dawg.
while yo'r poSishun as brickyarClist
at $50 n month am good thing an shows
DO trust an confidence rCpOscd in yo', doan'
be pulled up an cmaginc dat dis United
States would go to grass if yo' happened
to be laid up fur a day or two. While yo'
will lrsv a standin to maintain, do it wild
out being offensive.
Il ar KNOWN to de fact dat yo' am a
member of de Baptist church. Oar will
probably be Baptist church in de town yo'
am gwine to, but doan' go rushin around
de fust mint yo' git dar. Go leetle
slow an look ober de ground. If de Bap-
fist people hey got a great big church wild
= high steeplc AN a big bell an furnace
in de basement, go an introduce yo'sslf an
jine in wild de people. If, on de contrary,
dat Baptist church am only a one boss
buildin heated by one stove, an no steeple,
bell, or cushions in de pews, take walk
around an look in on de Methodist. All
religions lead to hcaben, but dar am SIGH
a thing as bein in de swim in church mat
tiers.
''Dey tell me yo' am likely to git mar
ried out dar. On dat subjick no man kin
wisely advise yo' When yo' am co tin a
gal, she does her best to look purity an
control her temper, IN yo' hev simply got
10 take yo'r chances. On de odder hand,
yo will also strive to hide yo'r shortcom-
ms, an she will likewise be takin chances.
Yo' probably won't come out any better
nor any wuSs dan de rest of us, an SO yo'
needn't hesitate to go ahead.
Let relig'us discussion alone, Brudder
Johnson. Yo' won't be out dar a week
bcfo' some man will stand up an declar'
his belief dat NOah's ark was painted blue.
He'll spect yo' to contend dat de color was
green, but doan' yo' say word. Eben If
yO' broke dat mans neck yo' couldn't
prove he WAS wrong an yo' was right. Let
pollytics alone. Eben II yo' got an offs de
assessments fur de next campaign would
take all de salary. De white man Is heven
n heap mo- dan he kin do to keep track Of
politics, an de culled man who mixes in
hain't gwine to take any comfort.
Lastly, let me warn yo' not to adopt
any motto as yo'r guidin star, an doan'
sw'ar off on any pertickler vices yo' may
hev imbibed. A man wild q motto never
pays back borrowed money as anybody
eber heard tell of, an de man who swears
of on one vice is ginerally gittin hisself
ready to Encourage two wusser ones JiSt
be so so-'bout half an half. While do
too bad man am to be Stunned do too
good man am clAssed as either hypocrite
or fule-''