Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-01-18
TALKED TILL DEATH.

glad 4 am, dearie, that refused TO go
with him.
TALKED TILL DEATH.
Prof. Tunter-My last discovery
among the Indian mounds was three pet
rifled female figures in an upright posi-
tioL. as II conversing.
higgins IL was an afternoon
tea and they hadn't noticed anything
unusual. Halo.
AN ELEvATING INFLUENCE.
''Oh, is there nothing" exclaimed the
lady in the fur jacket, THAT can uplift
our servant girlsp
"rhe GOAL oil cam" answered the lady
in the yellow buskin.--[ Chicago Tribune.
NO HELP FOR HIM.
$50 the poor fellow is doomed to an
early death?"
''How do you make that outl"
Didn't you say he lived by his wits2"
Il Harlem Life.
PATIENCE PAYS.
Little Miss Freckles--If Susie Stuck
up was as cross to me as she was to you
I'd get mad and not speak to her.
Little Miss Hugging-No, you
woul Int, II you knew what know.
"What?'
''Shc's goin' to have birthday party.
with two kinds of ice cream and whole
lot of lady fingers an fruit cakes."-
GOOD News.
COMPULSORY AFFECTION.
Aunt Jemima (visiting)-Well, Tom
my, do you love your little baby brother2
Tommy-Yessum.
Aunt Jemima-And why do you love
little brother, Tommy9
Tommy-It hurts less than getting
licked. -LChicago Record.
HOW TO SAVE MONEY.
Mrs. Scale-D ownie--I will have to get
another girl, though only temporarily,
perhaps month or so.
Mr.. Scale. Down e-Three dollars more
week and board! What do you want
an extra girl for9
Mrs. -Downie-I have just found
out how to make the loveliest little hang
ing cabinet you ever saw at cost of only
So; but it will take me several weeks to
do it.-LNew York Weekly.
Misunderstood.
'Have yez any shoes that will fit the
little girl?' inquired SON of the Green
Isle of dapper young clerk in a Wash
ington street store the other day.
"Yes, sir, was the reply; 1--WE carry
full line for children's wear. Step this
way, please. French kidd"
mo, begobs; she's Irish. - Boston
Herald.
FLAGGIXG, BUT NOT NECESSARILY DULL.
"The man that just passed doesn't
look as If he was hard up"
ale does not"
4'Yet his business is always Tagging"
as that sol What business is he inf
s'He is the signal man at the railroad
crossing. New York Press.
AsININE.
Mr.. Callowhill-Do you like donkeys,
Miss Bunkcrhill2
Miss BE you are about to propose,
Mr.. Callowhill, please change the sub.
jectl- Halo.
TooTHLEss TALE.
They met an old, old Arab,
He was toothless, wrinkled, grayi
They stopped him on the desert
And they asked of him the way.
He tried to tell them plainly,
In voice almost oroak,
But they couldn't understand him,
For gum Arabic he spoke.
--[Detroit Free Press.
NOT coNcLUsITE EVIDENCE.
'Has young Bondclipper proposed
YETI" asked Harlem mother OF one of
her numerous unmarried daughters.
"Not yet; but think he is going to
pretty soon. There are some pretty
strong indications. He has got orange
blossoms on his mind"
''I'd like to know why you think he
has orange blossoms on his minds"
3! "When we were at the soda water
fountain yesterday evening he took
orange phosphate. = Texas Siftings.
EXPRESSIVE.
Teacher-What happened when the
man killed the goose that laid the golden
egg2
Dick Hicks-His goose was cooked.
-lBrooklyn Life.
UNCLE JOSH DEFEATED.
Lawyer-Well, my young friend. your
Uncle Josh determined that you should
be a farmer. or get nothing from him.
He did not leave you a cent Of money,
but he willed you his pillow, cultivator,
moving machine, thrasher, portable saw
mill, stone crusher, road scraper, and
stump puller.
Young Scribblcr--All right, I'll sell
them.
Lawyer-He has provided against
that. You cannot sell, or even rent them.
You must use them yourself.
Young ScribDler7-Very well. / will.
Lawyer-On the Did farm?
Young Scribolcr-No; I'll write play
and use them on the stage.-[New York
Weekly.
KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT.
Mr.. Borem--I tell you, sir, there is no
controverting Darwin's theory of the
survival OF the fittest.
Pete Amsterdam-But you yourself
disprove that theory. On that theory
you would have died long, long ago.
Texas Siftings.
DID NOT WANT TRUNKS.
pardon me, madam" gently urged
travei-stained Rhodes, as he Dck the
lady of the house Mt the alley gate ,shave