The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-07-05

ing of its size this side of anywhere
At least 1T did in June, 1872
We marched across the spacious
courtyard. On the way 1 endeavored
to cross examine my witness as to my
fate. He did nothing but chuckle. Sud
denly from every window in the large
three sided building came a yell, or
series of yeFls, and the verandas were
soon filled with gray-coated, white
trousered cadets
rs that a fresh pleb?"
Catch on to his sidiesr'
"Ain't he sweet?'
"How's mamma and sister Nary?
Grandpa well?"
These and like questions and eJacula-
tons struck my tympanum with a dull,
sickening thud I was perturbed. At
that moment l couldn't have scalped
cigar store Indian with any certainty
or precision and couldn't have distin-
guished Che difference between an am
bush and a bush of any other vintage.
The crowd chased US until we reached
a doorway, which we enterd, and ] was
glad to get away with my life. mo-
ment later / was sorry hadn't left my
life with the crowd.
The ramrod led me up two flights of
stairs, filed to the right and tapped on
a door in the front of the building and
overlooking the aforementioned pa
rade ground.
''Come" said a deep-set voice.
The ranlrod opened the door, pushed
me through the opening, and departed,
still chuckling, and leaving me to- my
fate
l turned to ascertain where he had
gone, when my gripsack was kicked
from my hand, my hat was slammed
from my head, [ was grasped from be-
hind by several brigands, and from
befront by several more, and was
pushed over to the wall, and my nose
was jabbed up against tack, driven
there for the use of plebians in order
to teach them the first symptoms OF
army regulations and discipline. Just
as I was beginning to rattle like
shot tower, because of my shuddering
fear of anticipated demolition, | was
jerked away from the tack l was then
placed in the center of the room, which
contained four young cadets and other
ornamental if not useful articles OF
furniture. One of the young gentlemen
got around south of me, graspeS me
by the shoulders, placed his knees in
my back and Strengthened me out until
I cracked. Another grasped me by the
head and compressed my chin until 1t
nearly closed the flue of my windpipe.
Nos. and 4 each grabbed a hand,
go without severing their connection
with my shoulders, yanled the palms
to the front, placed the fingers close
together, with the 'fpinkeys" aligning
the seams of my trousers, and told me
to remain in that deplorable condition
and to move at the peril of my life.
Thus, very much resembling a clothing
store dummy, l stood transfixed with
horror and fear. I was informed that
that was the first position of SOL
der and I hoped away down in my
scared heart, that they'd give me a
! chance to convalesce before they
bulged the second position of a sol
der" onto me.
With my chest thrown out, my should
ers thrown back, my chin thrown in
my hands thrown down and in danger
of the rest Of me being thrown up, /
was put through my little catechism.
THE INQUIsITIoN.
The four young gentlemen were mem
bers of the fourth class" and were
known as cadet officers" 1t is their
duty to instruct the plebs in the way
they should go and teach them the
rudiments of a soldiers life. These are
some of the questions they asked me:
t'Your name?"
''Residence?"
''Age?"
Married or single, and if so, why
not?'
"Father hanged or died a natura
death?"
Grandmother bald. or can she use
hairpins without glasses?"
.'How's your sister,"
Got any dynamite in that grir
sack?" etc.
| When 1 attempted to work up an un-
canny smile at some Of these mirth
provoking questions. in order TO make
making them think that l thought they
were funny, I was asked If [ had g
pain and what was making those hor-
rible grimaces for if l hadn't a pain
They slammed me out Of the 'tfirs
position of a soldier" and then slam
med me into it again and mad dead
loads Of fun with me for fully half ar
hour Then they told me that when
| ever l left my room or whenever
heard a rap upon my door, no matter
even if it were in the middle of The
night, 1 must assume that position ant
promptly answer all questions, with {
sir at the tail end of my remarks.
I was then dismissed.
HAZING EXTR AORDINAR
I was conducted up two flights o.
stairs by one of the cadet officers. He
raped at the door of rear room
just at the head of the stairs. 1 heard
a shutting, scrambling noise within anC
| several voices said Gomez
He opened the door and then I saw {
group of young men of about my owl
age, all in the first position of sol
der" They looked funny. Some were
fully dressed while others were not
One had his trousers and no coat on
/ ND nil
another, who had evidently beer
caught at his bath, was attired only
in his birthday costume. The rap haC
apprised them of the approach of thu
officer and they had dropped every
thing and stood there with chests ex
panded, shoulders thrown back, com
pressed chins- and hands down thei
sides, looking more like statues thar
humans.
Another plebr' said the officer as hi
thrust me into the room.
Then he left me to introduce myself
Misery loves company, and we al
soon became friends.
There were nine of us in the room
Preparatory to the mental examina
the examination is successfully passed
uniformed cadet life is begun, and tw,
are placed in each room. We wert
never known to each other by on
birthright names. This is another fat
of West Point etiquette. For instance
was always known as New York
My fellow sufferers were respectivel!
pennsylvania" "West Virginia.
Michigan" Ohio and Georgia.
By no other names did we know eacl
iother, for we had very little time il
which to grow reminiscent.
At all hours of the day and nigh
we were brought up, "all standing
by raps upon the door Facetious ca
tdatc would steal in O1Ir y0oy,o ond c,,r