The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-02-02
POPPING THE QUESTION.
Queries and specuIatfons as to Pro.
posaIs of Marriage.

queries ana SDecuIatiOns as to Pro-
posals of Marriage.
| Are proposals premeditated or not ?
DO men make up their minds to marry,
or do they drift into marriage, SO to
speak? Does propinquity or opporeun-
| ity bring about a greater number of
proposals than does actual intention ?
This is a problem that greatly perplexes
mothers with manageable daughters,
and they are at a loss to understand
why it is that their daughters adj
mirers do not develop into suitors. The
| girls are pretty well dressed and
Of ages ranging from IS to %, AMI they
experience no lack of attention from
| the men of their different sets. men
who ride, dance, and play tennis with
them, and with whom they are on the
| best of terms
| Mothers, looking back to their own
glrlhood, are diSmayed at the difference
between the past and the present and
each matron remembers that she was
wooed and won within, say, a few
weeks of first meeting, whereas her
daughters are still unsought after
months of constant companionship. Is
! 1t that in former days men were i'm
pulSlVe as we'll as impressionabIe, and
that in these days they are impression
able but not impulsive? Or is it that
the comradship that is now established
between young men and girls robs the
situation of every shadow of romance.
while this footing of frank friendship
induces girls to assume a sort of
hrusque, self-reliant, Independent bear
! ing, the reverse of sentimental and con-
flding? This may account in some
measure for the position that girls oc-
cupy towards men, but hardly suffic-
dently so to De the only cause for the
gravity of the situation. Anyhow, it is
Illuminating to their powers of attrac-
ton to find that, after months of
pleasant social intimacies, the most
valued acquaintance cool off.
| From statistics CLEANED from conf
dences and careful observations. it may
be laid down that very young men are
less prone to propose from elaboration
than older men; youth and fancy go
ing hand in hand as against experience
and hesitation. On the one hand, they
fall in love, as the old-fashioned phrase
goes, and propose. On the other hand,
they rather drift from liking into affec-
! tion, but are not always ready to pro-
pose until some pressure is brought
to bear from without. This is perhaps
one of the most delicate operations
in social anatomy. Sometimes the faith
er operates upon the heart and feel
rather an awkward moment for both,
but it generally results in a satisfac-
tory arrangement of the matter and
the proposal is duly made. Many men
require this paternal touch before TAX
| ing the final leap. A mothers inter
ference is rather resented than not
and she seldom ventures upon such an
extreme course. A warm hearted mu-
tual friend is perhaps one of the best
auMlaries a girl can have. She can
say so much for her and can say it so
we'll and she can hint al a preference
which is f1attering to most men if not
to all. By the same token a mutual
friend can do untold mischief and con-
vert a dawning admiration into a
studied avoidance. In her eagerness
to throw couple together she rouSes
| in one of them a fear of being made
ridiculous, most antagonistic to SEN
| timent akin to a. proposal. 1t is not
too much to say that officious kindness
! on the part of a tactleSs woman mars
many budding inclination which.
but for her interference, might have
resulted altogether differently.
Men verging toward 40, or even a lit
tie beyond it, often make premsditat-
ed proposals, actuated by various rea-
sons, considering that if they do not
marry at 40 they are not likely to
marry at all. They wish to settle
down and enjoy their possessions. They
are matrimonial prizes, and much COW
eted by mothers for their daughters.
Men who have arrived at this age
must have done one of two things
either lived a society life, and number
ed all the young beauties among their
acquaintance, or have come fresh
from exile on mine or ranch, ready to
propose to the first pleasing girl they
happen to come across. They fall in
love at first sight. and the proposal is
made within a week or so.
| Many proposals are the result OF
circumstances, and are surprising alike
to both sides. They were not, nor are
each others ideals, but they drifted
! together, nevertheless; these propos-
ais cannot be called premeditated; they
come about from the force of events
which often brings together the most
unlikely people.
Older men, over so, make distinctly
! premeditated proposals to women OF
a certain age, in whom they hope tc
find congenial companionship. and
women with money are often found
willing to exchange spinsterhood fol-
wifehood under such conditions, viz.
suitability of age and position.
AS the matter stands, it seems pretty
| evident that as many premeditated as
as unprecedented proposals are made
only that there are so few when all
is told. 1t is that the good-fellowshir
that now exists between the sexes acts
as a barrier to and tenderer sentiment
joined to the extravaganza of the age
and the self-indulgence which is SC
characteristic of both men and girls
Or is it that the number Of marriage
able girls offers such a wide choice tC
men in general that an impression is
effaced almost as soon as it is made p
San Francisco Argonlut.