Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1894-09-12
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

The owner of the Valkyrie is Dun
raven.
-" JASON Why did you name your
dog that?" Because he is always
searching for the fleece. Life.
-"DOan brag." said Uncle Even.
Hit souns too much like yoh was try
in ter bolster up yer own se'f-respeck."
Washington Star.
Although looked upon by the world
at-large as of no account. q fiat is of some
consequence in music. or as a source of
revenue to the landlord.
-Mistress-"And, pray. why do you
want to leave us. Anna!' Cook-"The
generous detr'-Baseler Nachrichten.
Daughter (weeping)-"Oh. papa, to-
day l enter already on my thirtieth year.
Father-''Calm yourself, my child-it
Won't last long -FTegende Blaetter.
-Wheelman (sententiously)-" bi-
cycle is no longer toy" Ordinary Cit
zen (earnestly)-"No, stree, it isn't. I've
been run into by one myself. New
York Weekly.
The proprietor Of an East Water
street restaurant announces OSI Il card IN
the window of his place of business: I'VE
keep the best of everything What
must the patrons get?
Father (solemnly)-''Th thrashing
is going to hurt me more than you, Ma
poleon" Napoleon sympathetically)-
"Well, don't be too hard on yourself,
dad: l amt worth it.''-Tid-Bits.
-She-'I don't believe you think half
so much of me as Tom Dinsley does He
tells me he could die for me- He
That's nothing. [ love you well enough
to live with you. Boston Transcript.
-Joax-"You know Bagley fell off a
car yesterday and broke his jaw. His face
is all bound up. | went up to SET him to-
day" HoaX-'How was he?" JoaX-
His wife said he couldn't complain. .
Philadelphia Record.
Political VS.. Domestic Economy
Friend-"How is it yeh amt got that POI
sition yet? Lost yer pulp Mr. Warde
Heeler-"Oh, I've got the pull, plenty O
pull. My application is signed by all Their
political leaders in tn party Then
'em to go on me bond. Life
-Wigwag- why did you call your
volume of poems Autumn Leaves"
Scribbler-'Because autumn leaves get
red. "-Philadelphia Record.
His expressions were very objection
able said the precise young woman. Il
think =! shall have nothing more to Go
panion. He writes me that lie reached
home in good shape" ''Thot is thoug,n /
full on his part" Il know that. but good
shape is such bad form" w shington
Ser.
Professor Seeing the sign ''Freshly
painted" over the zebras cage in the 20
illogical garden)-"How very strange! l
could have sworn that those stripes were
natural. '-Fiegende Blaetter.
-Anita-"Do you know [ like appear
ing in the living pictures better than any
other kind of show [ was ever in" Eta
why is that?'' Anita-"We don't
have to have any dress rehearsals, you
know. South Boston News.
What did you do when he pro-
posed?' Il lost my self-possession at
e."-Truth.
-Dyspeptic Doctor, do you
think oysters are unhealthy" Doctor
NO. madam-at least, l have not yet
treated any. "-Truth.
One of the funniest things at the
stores is the sweet smile a woman gives
a man when she wants him to sell her
something below cost.-Atchison Globe.
The Wife-"Yes, | married you to
spite Fred Grigson." The Husband (rue-
fully)-''I wish, my love, you had mar
ried Fred GrigsOn to spite me."-Tid-
Bits.
-Herdso-"Why didn't you defend
your wife's suit for divorce?' Saidso-
Il had known for years that what she
said was law."-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
Tourist lin a remote villagel--"Can
you tell me where the station is|' Por-
ter can, but L won't. We are glad to
have a tourist here at last."-Fliegende
Blaetter.
-Summitt-"Miss Gayley seems thor
oughly imbued with the idea that youth
will tell Bottome-''Yes: you see she
has three or -four small brothers. ''-Buffa-
10 Courier.
-Wife-"And did Mr.. Gay really say
Something of that sort He said you
were pigeon-toed, l believe. Boston
Transcript.
Eff l give you your dinner" asked
Mr. Haiseed, will you turn the grind
stone awhile?' ''Naw," said Dismal
Dawson. Il amt no crank agtator =
Cincinnati Tribune
Mrs. hyperion Ito conductor of the