The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-05-02
MY SUICIDE.
Yes, I have wished to die.


It was just after receiving the assur-
ance that Amclie was false to me.
Was 1t indeed Amclie-this pcrfid-
ious ooquette2 Only think of it She
held my life in her littlo hand, and I am
not now evon srue of her name. Young
mon, this may astonish you, but you
will learn better In time
was young then-quite young, and
no sooner learned of my misfortune
than determined to end my Life My
first intention was to shoot myself on
her stairway, but I bethought me of the
crowds that would see me there and of
how Henrietto-was not that her name?
would ridioule me, so my amour pro-
pre- came to my rescue.
mo" ! said to myself, "there must
be no oxcitemcnt, no noise. The wound
cd bird conceals himself bohind tuft
OF grass Thus wish to die-in some
oorner-isolated, lost, forgotten. -
In this eleg1ac frame of mind 1 took
the $3.50 train for Mclun. 1t deposited
me ut dusk, about 100 stops from the
Golden Lion-a we'll kept hotel, with
airy rooms good beds and an excellent
table.
"What does monsieur w1shT' asked
little waitress, whom have since found
10 be very pretty.
Nothing"
was not hungry. 1 went to bed My
sleep was fitful, and every instant l
thought 1 saw Victorine-I believe her
naino was Victorino-pass by m tho
arm Of my rival
Then struck out with my fist against
the wall, the iron bedstcad or the mar
bic top tale.
Twas much bruised next morning, but
what mattered it, since was SO soon to
die?
went in quest of rope had be-
loved formerly that, when ono wished
to hang oneself, nothing could be easier
than to find rope. a sad mistake In
my search I travcrsed the entire hotel
to no purpose The little waitIpes-
tho ono whom have since found is so
prctty-demandod of mo;
but what docs monsieur wish to do
with roper"
AT last with length of hemp In my
pocket, left tho hotel and made my
way to spot In tho woods whcro I had
often boon before. I found here behind
an inoxtricablo tanglo Of foliage, the
Same inviting retreat where I had once
fingered to dream. There could certain
~ exist no moro appropriate spot foe
the deed now contemplated.
While walking along had thought
of Berthe = possibly her name was
Bcrtho-aIid I cursed her with all my
soul Then I looked at my rope 1 NOES
urod it Tested It's strength. 1t was not
tho sort of q rope wished 1t appeared
to be too short and too largo around I
wns vexcd You can scarcely imagine
how an annoyance Of this sort may In
fucnce ones ideas
And here was another vexation. Upon
reaching tho chosen spot WIS disagreed
bly, surprised 10 find it occupied by an
other A person, with his back turned
to INC, was engaged In fastening q rope
to branch above his hcad-tho very
branch which I had selected for my
own.
what are you doing thcrcf'' 1 do
manded of him.
He faced mo suddenly.
"What concern Of yours Is it2'' he
asked
"You think perhaps that 1 do not di-
vino your intention" cried
"And If wish to kill myself that Is
altogether my affair.
"Kill yoursolf?"
looked at him He seemed to be ON
nriablc young fellow, with an open
countcnance, sympathetic eyes and an
interesting pallor.
80 you wish to kill yourself And
suspecting him to DO tho victim Of al
unhappy love affair, I added, "About
some worthless woman?'
Sri" he cried.
Poor idiot" thought Lovers aro
oil alil1o-he defends her even yet"
The stranger was silont.
"Will you permit ne to give you
bit of "dvico?' inquired "Ioave your
rope where 1t isl had noticed that
1t was better than mine-''go home.
You will thank me for this after
awhile"
He shook his head.
IT want to die"
"Don't prepare any poignant regrets
for the morrow" I continued, With
sweet insistence 'Trepeat what have
said. After you are buried you viii be-
moan your procipitanoy, and then 10 will
BIO too latoh
''You say this because you do not
know what has happened to ma"
"But suspect"
mo, you cannot have even suspi-
cion. Oh, sir, woman whom ndored,
for whom'-
And he told mo his story. Incredible
coincidence! 1t was absolutely my ownl
This comparison set me thinking. HYour