Arizona silver belt., 1894-06-02
I SMELL SMOKE.

One night when in bed Mir Snoodle had an irresistible desire for a pipe, which he iii vain endoavored to combat His wife was fast asleep, so he cautious ly stretched out his hand for his pipe which lay on Ettlo table by tho bed side. Then with equal caution he filled it, lighted up and was pufing away with intense relish when Mrs. Snoodle turned over and gave two or three shorts.
 ''I believe she's going to wake up, " thought Mir. Snoodle and hastily took his pipe from his mouth and placed it on the table
 Mrs. Snoodle gave few more snorts and woke up, Then she gave series a sniffs, and Mr. Snoodle trcmbled, for the room was pregnant with tobacco smoke.
 John. are you srnoling?" asked his wife sternly
 Certainly not, my dear Whatever makes you think so?'' he innocently in. quired
 Because 1 can smell tobacco, !" she replied "Phew, how strong itisl Don't you smell it. John?'
 Cant say do. Martha. I've got . bit of cold.
 "Opon your eyes, man, and then you will, snapped Mrs Snoodle,
 T don't smell with my eyes, gig gled Mir. Snoodle,
 What l mean is wake up properly and sniff hard. Now, can't you smell it?''
 ''Well-er-I think there is faint odor of tobacco, admitted the culprit
 'Think--faint odorl Why, tho place reeks with itl tell you what it is, John, there's somebody smoking in the house, {" declared his wife,
 ''Doyou think Jane indulges in pipe on the sly?" suggested Mir. Snoodle
 ''Nonscnset'
 ''Well. my dear, the only other living thing iD the house is tho cat, and ] ueyer heard of cats smoking
 Don tall, rubbish, John. It's seri- ous matter, It's ny firm belief there's a burglar smoking in the house" And Mrs. Snoodlo shiycred.
 "Ah, very likely, replied Mir. Snoo. dlc, thankful for his lucky escape and preparing to go to sleep again.
 ''John are you going to sleep and let the house be ransaoked?" asked his wife indignantly.
 Certainly not, my dear. "
 "Then why don't you go down stairs and catch the burglarY
 Mir. Snoodle very reluctantly got out of the warm bed into the cold air sleep fly lighted Q candle and moved toward the door,
 Aren't you going to take some weapon of defense?' asked his wife. DO you want to be killed? Ineycr saw such manI"
 Mr. Snoodle rather sulkily seized the poker and muttered that eff Le found q burglar he'd make it smoking hot for him.
 He had got half way down stairs and was thinking of anything but burglars when he suddenly saw man dart out of the dining room and bolt down the kitchen stairs. Mir. snoodle's first inn pulse was instant flight, for be was an errant coward, but he was So astounded and petrified with fear that he was ut te,ly unable to either move or speak He simply stood still, holding the candle nearly upside down, with his mouth wide open. Then he heard the back door bang and knew that the burglar was gone, so thought it was about time for action and to earn little cheap glory,
 So he roared out: "You villainsl m murder you I'll scalp you as clean as a whistler and rushed down stairs. He had never before felt so heroic in his life. He bounded into the dining room and fought fiercely with tho furniture, especially the fender, as he could bang into that without injuring it much un- til he was quite exhausted.
 John, John, come up stairsp' screamed Mrs, snoodle "You'll be killedP
 "It's all right, Marthar' shouted back MT. Snoodle.
 Have you got the rascals safely bound them"
 No, they've got away. But I've nearly kllleu eml
 "Thank heaven Come up stairs and let me dress your wounds, dear, said Mrs Snoodle solicitously.
 Mir. Snoodle, after securing the back door, which the servant had omitted to lock, and undoing the bundle of plate that the burglar had left behind in his hurry to escape, went up stairs.
 "Oh, John, exclaimed Mrs. Snoodle on beholding him, then you're not dead?''
 "No, dear," he said, mopping his brow. But it was a terrible fight.
 I'm sure it was Inever heard such an awful row. Did they take anything?
 "Only their hook, grinned MT. Snoodle "I was just in time to prevent lem carrying off the best part of our plate It was all tied up ready. That idiot of Jane forgot to lock tho back door I'll give it to her in the morn ingr
 "The silly grill How many burglars were there, John:"
 Two. Ono great fellow over 6 feet, and another bigger, if anything, but ] caught one a crack om the head that must have pretty well smashed it, and I'm sure I we broken the other 'sleg, " declared the mendacious Mir. Snoodle
 .'Then wonder he could run away, y remarked his wife.
 "He doesn't run with his arms, Martha. 7
 @No, but you said you'd broken his { leg, John :" 'tOhsNJ meant arm
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