davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
Atchis IN Globules.

More jokes should be labeled.
Every one has a different idea of
heaven.
There is always more or less dirt in
mans pocket.
There are good many rabbits
playing the lion parts.
We are willing to bet that the
devil is a married man.
Being good Is awfully proper, but
awfully uninteIesting.
People are so silly themselves that
they dislike it in others.
A man who courts trouble will
soon find himself married to 1t.
Men never become so old that they
are not little scared by bluff.
In order to have steady company,
girl should only rave over one man.
We are all inclined to waste too
much powder when the enemy is not
in sight.
This is awfully cold weather If you
are sleeping with some one you don't
like.
Which OF the veins in mans body
is the popular one? I'VE should like
to strike 1t.
1t is said of some men that they
are afraid to propose, who don't want
to propose.
A married woman's description of
an ideal man is picture of the kind
she didn't get.
There is so little excuse for conceit
that we wonder that so many are
afflicted withit.
We have noticed that when an ink
man comes in to sell us ink, he al
ways laughs at our jokes.
If you want to find the warmest
spot in the house in winter, and the
coolest in summer, follow the cat.
If a man is poor, it is observed
much sooner when he begins to show
signs of insanity than IL he is rich.
1t is a wonder that young men are
as gallant as they are; all their
women folks at home wait on them.
A man abuses his country and his
wife so much for his troubles, that
the proper one to blame gets off easy.
Our idea is that the breast of
rabbit, nicely Drowned, with gravy,
brings better luck than it's left hind
loot.
Nearly every man has grievance
against his wife because she doesn't
say oftener that he is overworked.
Some women's idea Of acting as IL
they were always used to riches, is to
90 to bed and send for doctor every
time they have an ache.
1t is all right to keep goose bone
in your house, if you also save the
goose grease. One may foretell
trouble, but the other will prevent it.
Another drawback to parlor CRATE
fire is that the young man can't hold
his girls hands as much as he would
like, because he has to poke the fire
or freeze.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
Difficulties i'm the Way.

Il wonder If you will be as much
surprised as / was, the other day,
when l learned that women are only
partially eligible to benefit by an ac-
cident insurance policy?" asks a cor
respondent. ut is true that wom-
an may take out such policy; and
If she is killed outright in some kind
Of disaster, her heirs may profit by it;
so long as the breath of life can be
kept in the body the woman herself
gets nothing. Two points are adj
vanced in explanation of this course.
In the first place it is presumed that
accident insurance is only for people
who are deprived of the whole or a
part of their income because OF in
Jury received. and it is also presumed
that women are not selfsupporting,
and that their income is not affected
IL they are hurt. The second point
is this: Although there are more men
hurt in the aggregate than women,
women are more liable to he hurt,
consequently the companies decline
TO take what they consider, in their
theory, at least, heavy risks"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

and, a. he worked, his spade threw
up fragments of bones. The old man
was not moralist, and even his
grewsome surroundings failed to prey
on his spirits, for while he worked he
crooned an old English ditty. The
scene made a vivid impression on
Benjamin, who produced such song
as he imagined the old man ought to
have sung under such circumstances.
But BENJAMIN was not different from
other song-writers. All have de-
scrlbed what they saw, not as 1t was,
but as they imagined it ought to be.
or course they made mistakes of fact,
but that has not In the least i'm
paired the value OF their writings,
for the world, when viewing q pic
ture, does not care whether IL Is true
or not SO long as 1t is pretty, and the
business OF the song-writers has al
ways been to sketch a pretty picture.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
How to Spoil n Horse.

The great superiority OF the horse
to all other dumb animals, according
to Mr.. HI. @. Merwin, is the f1neness
OF his nervous system. Almost all
the fastest horses, says the same
writer, have been remarkable for
their nervous, high strung" consti-
buttons. Others have had as good
legs and as good lungs, but have
lacked the necessary courage and de-
termination, the "dO or die" spirit,
which makes horse keep on after he
is tired. But this very nervousness
renders the horse the most irritable
of creatures, the most easily worried
and distressed. Upon this point Mr.
Merwin makes some observations that
are worth reading by all who have,
or expect to have, horses Of their
own.
Harsh treatment, though 1t stop
short of inflicting physical pain, keeps
a nervous horse in state of misery.
On tie other hand, it is perfectly
true, as a besotted but intelligent
stable keeper once observed to me,
"A kind word for boss is as good
sometimes as feed OF oats"
A single blow may be enough to
spoil racer. Daniel Lambert,
founder of the Lambert branch Of
the Morgan family, was thought as a
three year-old to be the fastest trot-
ting stallion Of his day. He was a
very handsome, stylish, intelligent
horse, and also extremely sensitive.
His driver, Dan Mace, though one
of the best reinsmen in America, once
made the mistake, through ill tenn
per or bad judgment, of giving Daniel
Lambert a severe cut with the whip,
and that single blow put an end to
his usefulness as trotter. He be-
came wild and ungovernable in har-
ness. and remained so for the rest Of
his life.
In dealing with horse, more than
with most animals, one ought to ex-
ercise patience, care, and above all,
the power Of sympathy, so as to
know, If possible, the real motive Of
his doing or refusing to do this or
that. To acquire such knowledge,
and to act upon it when acquired, Is
a large part of the ethics Of horse
keeping
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

to few minutes of the merry-go-
round, after which he escorted her to
a cheap lunch house and gave her a
treat of bacon and onions, cakes and
ale. During the whole course of
their outing they were followed by
Carey, who was pleased with the sim
plicity Of the courtship. Returning
home, when the activity Of the young
people proved too much for his en-
d1rance, he wrote the song, which
he shortly afterward published him
self, as no publisher could be induced
to touch 1t. 1t was greeted with a
storm Of ridicule. All London reared
with laughter at the idea OF man
making a song on such subject. 1t
was pronounced low, coarse and vul-
gar, and Carey was denominated the
Alley Poet. He was thrown into
despair by its reception, and swore
he would write no more. He did not
keep his VOW, nor was there any need
Of his doing so, for he lived to see
his song make its way into the best
society, and had the satisfaction OF
knowing that it had been sung at
court concert.
Character Songs.
Character songs, like the "Fine Old
English Gentleman" are almost in
variably inspired by some incident,
or the sight Of some face, or the con-
temptation Of some particular person
who in such cases poses as model.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

place where he had a sweetheart he
ordered the band to play the -Girl /
Left Behind Me- which, even then,
was an old Irish melody. The story
of his accommodating heart soon
spread through the army, and other
bandmasters, at the request Of OH
GERS and soldiers, began to use the
melody as u parting tune, and by the
end of the century 1t was accounted
disrespectful to the ladies for regi-
.ment to march gay without playing
@The Girl / Left Behind Me-"
Our Own War Songs.
Our civil war originated many
songs, most of them, however, writ
ten by men who stayed at home.
They accomplished wonders, howev-
er, In firing the blood of the country.
Tramp, Tramp, Tramp" did as much
good In filling the ranks as a regi-
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

novelty of the expressions caught the
quick ear Of the poet. He recognized
In them and the theme they suggested
an appropriate subject for song, and
that evening when he reached his
destination wrote both words and
music. A chord was touched In the
human heart, the song was in
simultaneously successful. Over 400,-
GOO copies were sold in the next few
years, and even now no song Of
Renaissance is dearer to the public
than the familiar strains OF sway
Down Upon the Suwauee River"
Every wanderer who remembers with
anything like affection those he has
left behind finds in this plaintive
melody a wealth of suggestion equaled
only by that other song of home
written by a man who never knew
what it was to have a home.
A somewhat more unusual incident
originated the famous song, Minute
Gun at Sea-" II. S. Sharpe, the
noted song writer Of England, was
once during an exceedingly tempest
uous winter visiting some friends at
BT1RnJOu. n ocftTc SlOTu Cdulc Ou
one evening during his stay, and
while the entire party were solacing
themselves In the tap room Of The
Old Ship, an inn on the beach at this
now celebrated watering place, the
dull boom Of cannon was heard.
All rushed to the windows, and by
the flashes of lightning they could
see large ship stranded in the
of,ing. Busy preparations were at
once made to rescue the unfortunate
sailors, and while boats were being
launched the regular boom OF the
cannon came across the waters tell
ing Of their deadly peril. Sharpe
saw in the incident an excellent sub
iect, and being for some cause unable
TO 20 with the rescuing parties he
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
HE SANG IN COURT.
How Little Dsvis Connolly Saved HE
Father from jail.

How Little Davie Connolly Saved His
Father from jail.
Little Davie Connolly, the sweet
voiced lad who is known all over the
Pacific coast, sang his father out of
Jail In the Spokane Police Court Tues
day. David Connolly, ST., had been
arrested for being drunk, and had
been fined 81 and costs by Judge
Miller. Then Davie appeared. In-
srector Cough was an admirer of the
lad, and SO was Pros ecutor Piattor.
AT their request the little fellow
sang in voice of atIe ,ting sweetness,
kiss and Let's Make Up" Judge
Miller listened, and when he had
concluded asked his name.
"Davie Connolly" said the lad.
@Why- ahem-who's your fsther?"
asked the Judge, with a suspicion of
tenderness in his voice.
"Why, he's the man you just sent
to JAIL" said the little fellow.
Il think we had better let the
father SO for the boys sake, said Mr..
Plattor.
"Sing MY Mothers Picture" sug-
geSted Inspector uOugn, ana tne boy
sang with tender emotion the appeal
Of the child not to sell his mothers
portrait. 1t was a sweet, pathetic
refrain that brought emotions to the
heart.
"Does your father get drunk often?"
asked the Judge as he looked sympa-
thetically at the little singer.
mo, sir; this is the first time In a
year" he replied. "And judge; if you
will let him 90, I'll have work at the
Louvre next week and bring you the
money for his fine"
"You-why, what do you earn?"
Seventeen dollars and a half a
week" replied Davic, and in another
minute it was arranged and the par
ent was allowed to 60. Portland
Oregonian.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
Waxs of Song Writers.

It is interesting to notice In what
trivial circumstances many popular
songs have had their origin, for the
poet, however full his soul may be of
the spirit OF poetry, needs Aprovo-
cation; that is to say, he finds his
inspiration in circumstances which to
other people would be OF very trifing
moment.
No object could be imagined more
destitute of attractiveness than an
old oaken bucket hanging In an old
well, and yet to this homely feature
of country life the world owes one of
its most dearly cherished songs. THE
Old Oaken Bucket" was written
about 1917 by Samuel Woodwork.
He was queer genius. With excel
lent opportunities for self-advance-
ment he failed to improve any
of them, and to the end
Of his days, in spite Of his
various attempts to found newspapers
and magazines, he remained "a tramp
printer" Never content to stay in
one locality more than few months
ut time, he wandered from place to
place, living in desultory fashion,
but always contented and generally
happy. One hot day In the summer
Of 1917 he left the Office In New York
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01


sat down in the deserted tap room
and wrote the sony.
sAllle' In. Our Alley. N
.Sallie In Our Alley" song which
has been lately'revived with marked
success, was the work OF the equally
brilliant and unfortunate Henry
Carey As author, poet and drama
list he was successful, but OF his ex-
tensive and talented works the only
portion which has endured Is this
one song. 1t was written as the out
come of days merrymakiug. While
wandering one day 10 the outskirts
of London his attention was at
tracted by young. workingman and
his sweetheart. The young fellow
was evidently determined to make
the best of his holiday. He took the
girl to the various sights In the vicin-
ity, treated her toa boat ride, then
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

Not consciously as rule. for although
some songs of this class are compli-
mentary the majority are either serio-
comic or satirical. The "Bold Soger
Boy" one of Lovers best character
songs, was the result Of seeing a
young friend, Donnie Blannigan by
name, for the first time rugged out
out in his uniform. Dennis had en-
listed, and after being received had
donned his uniform, and spent the
last day of his liberty in strutting up
and down the streets Of Dublin, the
admired OF all beholders. Lover saw
him, and amused at his innocent
self-conceit went home and wrote
the song Full of fun as it is, its
innocent sarcasm was far from being
appreciated by the subject of Lovers
wit, and Dennis, after hearing the
song for the first time, registered a
VOW, to use his own language, ito
bate the head off Of Lover for max
ing sport of him. He never carried
out his intention, however, for friends
succeeded in dissuading him from his
warlike intentions before he could
carry them into execution, but he
never quite forgave the author, for
during the remainder Of his army
life, which lasted twenty years, Dem
mis- was always known as "The Bold
Soger Boy"
OF reminiscent military songs the
annals of music are full. "The Girl
/ Left Behind Me-" according to ira
dition, became the parting tune Of
the British army and navy about the
middle of the last century. In one
of the regiments then quartered in
the south Of England there was an
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
A Big Nugget OF Silver.

Supt Read sent down from the
Diamond Company's mine last Mon
day nugget of ore weighing $3.50
pounds, which was shipped Wednes-
day to the Midwinter Fair In San
Francisco, and which is to represent
Eureka County. The nugget is 3 feet
10 inches long, lS inches wide, and 10
inches thick. 1t assays SO per cent.
In silver per ton, and Is per cent in
lead. The nugget when quarried out
In the mine was about double its
present size, but was too large to
haul up the shaft, and had to be
broken. Eureka New Sentinel.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

for the purpose of taking some re-
freshment, and went across the street
into saloon frequented by his fellow
workmen and ordered brandy. 1t
was set out on the bar and he poured
a liberal bumper, slipped it, and
called out to an acquaintance, "There
is no better drink than this in the
world" "Yes there is" rejoined the
other. "What is it?" asked Wood
worth. "a draught from the old
oaken bucket that hung in the we'll
at home" was the reply. Woodwork
made no answer, but swallowed his
brandy, and setting down the glass,
went back to the printing office and
sat down at desk reserved for the
use Of printers For an hour or two
he was closely employed, and then
calling to him the man who had
made the remark, he read to him the
now famous lines.
"Oid Folks at Home"
A similar trivial incident inspired
the equally famous song, "Old Folks
at Home" Stephen Foster, the
author, was once passing through
Kentucky, and while the stage coach
was stopped at a wayside inn to per-
NIT the horses to be changed, Foster
stood near, watching the operation
with some degree Of interest The
darkies were slow and lazy, and made
no great degree Of haste in perform
ing their duty, chatting meanwhile
In the manner and dialect peculiar to
themselves. Finally one, deploring
his hard lot, said: Il wish l was
back with the old folks at home"
"Where was that" asked another,
and the first rejoined, sway down
upon the Suwanee river The
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
A French DueI.

II the French are prone to chal-
lenge each other 70 fight duels on
the smallest provocatlon, they are al
20 prone to bring them to an end
with very little fighting.
1t is credibly related that, on the
occasion of duel between two men,
bers OF the chamber of deputies, one
of the combatants was taken with a
fit of bleeding at the nose just as
they came upon the field.
@Blood!" exclaimed one of the sec
onds OF the other man. BLOOD has
been shed. The honor of my princi-
pal has been satisfied"
And the parties and their seconds
thereupon gravely left the field.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

caused by the sight Of funeral, in
which the hearse was cart driven at
full speed by driver impatient to
get rid of his load. The "Old Sex
tom was from the pen of Park Ben
jamin, who wrote 1t after casually
passing an English grave yard,
crowded with tombstones and monu-
ments. The old man who served the
church as sexton was digging a grave,
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
Ants Larger Than Fox ,s.

Pliny, that rare old gossiper, tells,
among his rather extraordinary sto-
ries, that Of the Bactfian method of
obtaining gold. The sandy deserts
Of Bactria in the days of that histo-
rian were, so the old man says, liter
ally swarming with ants slightly
bigger than foxes" These gigantic
representatives Of the genus homen-
optera burrowed deeply into che
sandy wastes, their tunnels and gal
leries often being hundreds Of feet in
extent. The earth removed from
these burrows was always carried to
the outside and thrown up in hills
remember Pliny says this) "of big
ness exceeding that of a palace"
This debris-sand, earth, etc.--was
soon found to be wonderfully rich in
small nuggets of gold. The danger
from the ants was greater, however,
than that from the Indians in the
early days OF gold-digging In the
western United States, and many
stories are told Of men who were lit
orally devoured in a few moments by
the fierce owners Of some disturbed
burrow. Some observing old hunter
at last discovered that the giant ants
slept during the hottest hours Of the
day. After that the seekers after
the yellow metal only made their in
cursions at the proper time, and even
then they only stayed long enough in
the deserts to I'll their sacks with
the golden sand, which they took
home to sift at leisure. With all
this precaution the ants often swift
ly pursued the fleetest horses, and it
was only by using various stratagems
that the invaders managed to escape
alive"
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

speak, with long prO-FoR OFFICIAL oc-
jecting blinkers back cAsIoNs
and front. This suit shelters the
wearer from rain and spray, and ex-
plains Mr.. Cleveland's readiness to go
fishing in all sorts of weather. The
Presidents fisherman equipment in
cludes stout boots which come up to
the knees, and into which his trous-
ers are tucked. When the President
is out with gun he looks pretty much
ike the average sportsman.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
SCOT and Smoke.

A machine, designed to separate
the SCOT from the smoke viii h the
fires OF manufactures yield, has been
invented by Mr.. Elliott, OF Bir-
mingham, England, and tried sue
cessfully for several months past in
the mint there. A correspondent
has examined the device, and de-
clares it to be perfectly simple and
manageable.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
Not Extinct in China.

1t seems strange, but it is fact,
nevertheless, that the Chinese alli-
gator, which has long been supposed
to be extinct, has been rediscovered
and specimens OF it sent to the Royal
Geological Gardens In London. Marco
Polo was the last author to describe
it. In his description he mentions
a curious superstition, etc, that its
gall was specific for the cure of n.y.
drophobia. st. Louis Republic.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

A RECENT poet writes: "A song
sleeps in my soul upsung." There Is
a place for that young man In the
dime museum at remunerative sal
airy. He is the only one of his kind
on record.-Atlauta Constitution.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

English bandmaster who had the not
uncommon popularity OF being able
to fall In love in ten minutes with
any attractive girl he might chance
to meet 1t never hurt him much,
however, for he fell out again as
readily as he fell In, and so acquired
new sweetheartin every town the
regiment passed through. When
ever the troops were leaving the
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
SOME POPULAR SONGS.
THE TRIVIAL INCIDENTS THAT
CALLED THEM FORTH.

circumstances Under Which Many Fs-
nous Airs Have Been Written = "rhs
Ola Oaken Bucket" and "swancs River"
-Inspiring Songs of the War.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

"WAs 1t specialist you went to to
have your lungs examined" Il don't
think so. He couldn't 1nd anything
wrOiV with hem."-Life.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

AN old dyspeptic looks crusty when
he finds out that the pie that he had
the night before does not agree with
him.-Picayunc.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

ment of recruiting officers could have
done One justly famous song was
written by man who had served his
time in the ranks. "Tenting on the
Old Camp Ground" was the work of
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

WHEN 1t comes RECOMMENDATION the
barber has the edge on us.-Galyes-
ton News
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

cess was enormous. Publishers could
not get out editions fast enough to
satisfy the demand. 1t is said that,
from first to last, over 100000 cop
les were sold, and even now, set to
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD ~ FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Many Odd, Curious, and Laughsbie Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"A Budget Of Fun.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

regards dress. BLACK
Is his favorite color,
and plainness the
general effect he
appears to aim at,
sartorially speak
ing. His costume
comprises a long
lblack frock coat,
with wide lapels,
black W a | st c GA t,
wide black trousers
and a black neck
tie or, to adopt an
occasional term Of
Mr.. Gle vela nd s
own, "neckerchief. +"
His overcoat Is al
ways very long and
always black, and
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

gencies of public bust
ness necessitate a dis
turbance of his do:
mesticity he is gen.
orally found in a
d res ing gown Of
dark-blue material.
When he dimes at
h ON c he wears a
dress suit.
w h a t m ay be
termed the Presi-
dents special outfits
include a fisherman's
suit and a shooting
outfit. Mr.. Cleve-
land possesses a full
e qui p m e n t of oil
skins, all yellow, even
to the hat, which fits
b 9th ways, so to