The morning call., 1894-09-30
III PROFITS IN THE BUSINESS.

SAID Assistant Secretary LawIor of the
Board of Health, as an undertaken leaned
over the counter waiting for a burial per-
NIT yesterday afternoon.
Dying? Well l should say not" said
the undertaken. at is a very close call on
a bare living for US. Dying? Why they're
not dying at ALL"
II Issued some twenty burial per-
mits yesterday-just one apiece for every
undertaken in the town. What more do
you want? With a funeral a day you peO-
pie ought t. live pretty well. Besides, If
there were more funerals there would be
more undertakers, so il would be just the
same. The number of undertakers always
keep pace with the traffic"
Yes, and some Of them starve TO DEATH"
In the face of 700 per cent profit on all
business done not many starve to DEATH"
said the health officer "For instance, how
many coffins costing you $25 apiece did
you sell last month at $500 each? Come,
now. be honest!'
"What?" said the undertaken Repeat
that please"
"Ob, ! know all about 1t. A young at
tache of prominent funeral directing es-
tablishment tod me, as a fact, that his
house put in no less than forty coffins at
5000 net each, none of which cost more
than $25."
Nonsense" said the undertaken, she
was blutdng you. No undertaken in town
has done such business. Besides no man
earring on a legitimate business makes
sucn charges. A coffin or casket billed at
$500 would cost the undertaken at least
S150 Oh, the boastng undertaker-and
Ihere are many of thenI-makes me sick.
For my part l rather like to keep quiet
about the business. l do and if l had a
man in my employ who went about max
ing speeches Ike that I'd fire him."
But a wealthy dead man you make pay
pretty well for being buried. don't you?"
Certainly; and people whom l know TO
81 have had hard pull of 1t in life l have
buried Tor less than cost. Often a costly
funeral is put in very cneap-but some one
has to pay for it you see.
Mrs. Fairs casket for instance cost
$780," said an opposition undertaken who
had come in for permit.
ARD what would such a casket be like
aDd what would it really be worth?"
"Be like? Oh, very handsome. copper
lined, hermetically sealed, perhaps.
Worth? 1t would cost the undertaken
from 5000 to $3.50"
And 1 was told" said the health off,
Ger, that for injecting 10 cents worth of
fiu d into the veins of a certain wealthy
man who died at the Palace Hotel some
time ago his surviving friends had TO pay
$1,000 alone-not counting the funeral"
=. The undertaken laughed. Il know the
case" he said. ''Of course that was
ciich-a dead cinch. if you will allow me
to say so. Three men went there every
day for three days with big satchel of
. instruments. rode uD in the elevator to the
top floor, locked themselves in and went 10
sleep. Iknow that TO be facf, for b ad
room in a building opposite. The bill
rendered was $4,000, but they finally COM
promised on $1,000. They only got about
$500 of i, however, for they had to divide
with the doctor attending and the then
Coroner, who steefed the job to them"
but you often charge big figures like
thai when the estates are worth it? ?"
- Rich mil i7paires are scarcer. dead
than living. Frequently embaming bills
run into the hundreds, though. Our price
for good job is about 500. / had a case
not long ago where doctor came to me
and said he would like to emOalm a GER
tain body and that he would charge $3.50
; I said We were the undertakers and would
do a better job than Le cOuld for 500. He
saih it would make no difference to US
and would be a favor if we would speak
word for him. Well, l told the people
that the doctor wanted to do the embalm-
ing and would charge $3.50, and when
they asked told them it was more than we
woulI charge. They let the doctor do ii,
though. and be gave us 1925"
Here the opposition undertaken made
the remark that bodies were frequently
embalned when there was no real need of
il. but be denied the 10-cent statement as
TO the cost of the fluid He figured it at
81 90 gallon and the quantity necessary
as two gallons. Besides" he said ''there
are the instruments necessary, Some of
them cost as much as $50, and the acid eats
them and new ones are constantly being
needed. It is not necessary to do COM
plete job of EN- mbalming when the body is
to be preserved only for a few days. In
o such cases the charge is less, of course"
50 "No, this notion of big profi's in the
undertaking business is all wrong" said
the first undertaken. "Here are about the
. figures, say. on $125 funeral:
30 W
Dressing o0dy....... ~ %