Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-04-05
Let Us All Laugh.

Farmer.
! LOVE may be blind, but the neigh
bors generally aren't. - Somerville
| Journal.
LOT's poor wife is not the only
! woman who did not want to move i
Dallas News. !
NATURALLY when girl goes to
work out she hates to stay in.-El-
mira Gazette.
| WAITER-"What kind Of fish will
you have, sir, bluefsh or whitehsh?"
Guest-"I don't care; I'm color
blind. "-Hallo. !
| EVERY singer in quartet can tell
you three good reasons why the Or
ganization isn't absolutely perfect
Elmira Gazette.
! VAN WARBLER - "Ah, Stables.
have you heard my last song?".
Stabbes-"Heaven knows, [ hope so. 2"
Brooklyn Life.
SoN-"Pa, what political party did
| Washington belong to-" Father
Neither: he couldn't tell lie. -
Detroit Free Press.
DON'T be clam. If you've got to
be anything of the kind, be mud
turtle. Then you may have some
snap to you.-Texas Siftings.
No MATTER how fair and square he
may want to be the average poultry
dealer is compelled to earn his living
by fowl means.-Buffalo Courier.
"WHY does De Topper attend every
temperance meeting in town." "Be-
cause that's the only place where his
creditors don't look for him. HALO.
ETHEL-"Do you allow Charles to
kiss you when you are not yet en-
gagged to him." Maud-"It isn't an
allowance. He calls it perquisite."
-Raymond's Monthly.
BERLINER-"Thiss scenery is really
grand" Native-"But you have
grander views near Berlin?" mo,
indeed" Il am afraid you are not a
Berliner. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
THERE are several young men in
the car" remarked Mrs. Holdstrap
with some feeling, "but they can
hardly be classed among the rising
generation. boston Transcript.
"WELL," said James Easydo, "l've
got down to my last loaf" Great
heavens, mani" said his friend, "it
isn't so bad as that, is it?" Eyes, l
go to work tomorrow. Washington
Star.
You seem very fond of Wagner.
Mrs. Feathergilt." Eyes; when they
play Wagner one feels so confident
that ones conversation is not being
overheard by some Impairment out
slider. Washington Star.
AFFABLE SwELL-"Well, the fact
is. my name is not Smithson. You
see, | am travelling incog. There's
my card" Fellow Passenger-"Glad
to hear it. I'm travelling in pickles
Here's mine. "-Brooklyn Life.
A GEORGIA undertaken has adopted
novel method for increasing his
business. His advertisement reads:
Funerals on the installment plan.
Two dollars week will bury your
best friend Atlanta Constitution.
AT THE OPERA. Brown
There's Mrs. Montmorenci over
there. I wonder how she can enjoy
the opera. Why, she's deaf as post"
Mrs Gray-"But see how elegantly
she is ressed!"-Boston Transcript
MISS WITHERs-"When l was born,
my grandmother predicted that /
would never live to be old" Silling-
ton wishing to be pleasant)-"Ha,
ha, ha. Ho, no, ho What good
Joke you must have on your grand
mother."-Puck.
THAT was remarkable event
that reconciliation between the En-
peror William and Bismarck" re-
marked the advance agent. Yes"
replied the commercial traveller; but,
to be candid, / can't make up my
mind whether that was bona tide
reconciliation or champagne ad-
vertisement. ''-Washington Star.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER - Chill
dren, do you know the house that is
open for ALTO the poor, the rich.
the sad, the happy; to man and to
woman; to the old and to the young?
Do you know the house mean?
Little Johnny = Yeth, ma'am, /
know. Sunday-school teacher-Weli,
Johnny, what house is it? Little
Johnny-The station house. Halo.
"WHY are you so sad, Brushe9"
asked the critic of the impressionist
painter. II have been at work for
two years on my great picture" said
Brushe. "Well?" This morning it
was finished, and my boy, years Of
age. came into the studio" "Ah!
| know. He got cutting up, and up
set the picture. and destroyed it?n
"No; worse than that. He recog-
nized at once what it was picture
nfon Harnar'S R9Zar