Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-04-19
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


| Let Us All Laugh.
THE theatrical manager is known
by the company he ps.-Life.
THE turning point in the lives of
most farmer boys is at the end of a
furrow. Courier.
A MAN who puts off his enjoyment
too long will find it mislaid by the
time he gets to it.-Siftings.
THE angler is so absorbed in his
hobby that he generally fishes with
| baited breath. -Yonkers Gazette.
If one will hit the mark he may
be sure that his enemies as we'll as
his friends will mark the hit. Gal
weston News.
THAT'S another story" as the ele-
vator boy said when the passenger
asked to be taken to the next floor
above. Buffalo Courier.
IF it is a fact that "everything
comes to him who waits" the Phila-
delphians will eventually get every
thing. -Yonkers Statesman.
WINTER appears to be going, and
through the tree-tops the spring
zephyrs soon will be breathing sigh
of re-leaf. -Chicago Tribune.
TRAMP-"Madam, l was not always
thus" Madam-"No. 1t was your
other arm you had in a sling this
morning. "-Pearsons Weekly.
| MIssIONARY-"I have OfteD won.
dered what became of my predeces-
sor." Genial Cannibal Chief-"He
has gone into the interior. -Pearson's
| Weekly.
PERHAPS there is something in the
notion that under the circumstances
particularly bright girl can do with
out light in the parlor. -Philadel-
phia Times.
| "Is THERE anything in this for me?"
said the crow to the sportsman, as it
| lighted on the barrel of the gun rest
ing on his shoulder, and peered into
the opening.
"HIT am er fact" said Uncle Eben,
| dat a little lean MIN am a dang'us
ting. But doan fohgit dat de hitler
tits, de mob dang'user it's Wash
ington Star.
| ETHEL-Do you allow Charles to
kiss you when you are not yet en-
aged to him? Maud-It isn't an
allowance. He calls it perQuisite.
-Raymonds.
| EVEN. miss Fitz-Very well, I
shall sue you for breach of promise.
| To Ill oh
you for SANDER for saying | proposed
to you.
WHAT dis country wants, said
Uncle Nose, "is some sort of patent
contraptiOn Whar man can drap a
nickel in de slot an git religion. p
indianapolis Journal.
J1MMIE-Isn't this d lovely day?
Mamma-Yes, indeed, Jimmie. jim :
mie-I tell you, mamma, if it keeps
on this way it will soon be vacation.
-Harper's Young People.
THAT handsome young lady over
there by the piano., said Banks, els
the daughter Of wealthy bill-poster,
but she doesn't seem to be at all
stuck Chicago Tribune.
| JUDGE-Witness are you not the
same Schulze who four years ago
| robbed SHERMAN, the banker, of
1000 marks? Witness-No, [ am
sorry to say.-Lustige Blaetter.
WHEN Blondin at the age OF seven
ty can carry his l50-pound son On a
tight-rope there can be no doubt
| that he is still able to support his
family. Louis Post-Dispatch.
LA FIANCEE-"I am awfully sorry,
Jack, but those roses you sent me
don't match my gown" LIE Fiance
| (who paid 50 a dozen)-"Can't you
change your gown, dear?"-Vogue.
TAKING A MEAN ADVANTAGE
"What do you do when your wife gets
at you for coming home late?" asked
the first deaf ard dumb man. Turn
out the gas, responded the other. -
Life.
A CHICAGO tourist has succeeded in
planting a small American flag on
! one of the highest accessible peaks
of the Himalayas. Both are much
stuck up in consequence. -Philadel-
phia Ledger.
JoHNNY--"Pop, what is this Appian
Way there's so much about in this
book" Mr.. Read (who is superin-
tending his sons education)-4 HIM!
It's when in Rome do as the Rom
ans do / uppose."-Puck.
HUsBAND-"Well, you may buy
that cloak-but then you must prom
Use to leave me in peace. Wife
"Oh. certainly; if | have that cloak
I can get anything else l want on
credit. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
RAGGED RICHARD Gnsinuatingly)-
Say, mister, have yer got emmy sug-
gestionS ter make ter fellow wat
amt able ter raise er dime ter git
shaved with?" Grumple passing ON
Eyes; raise whiskers. - Buffalo