davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
CURRENT HUMOR.

THE man who invented work evident ly had nothing to do.-Fliegende Blat ter.
 ALMOST any mortal can resist the temptation to steal when to steal is un- necessary.-G News.
 PRISCILLA - Don't you envy my luck? Isn't Jack Murray a splendid fellow to have for a fiaDce?" PruneIla- 70, yes; I know that from experience. |" Truth.
 "IF," meditatively muttered the funny boarder, ''it is true, as some scientist asserts, chickens really talk, the language of two-thirds of them must be pretty blamed tough. h."-Buffalo Courier.
 "YOU'RE not in love, Robbie. You only think you are" Well, how the dickens am to find out my mistake if I am mistaken?" 70, marry the young woman, by all means Harp er's Bazar.
 EVEN clothesline becomes unsteady when it has too many sheets in the wind--London Answers.
 ErHEI.-''Mr. Passeigh has a rsmark- ably fresh complexion" Maud-"Yes, never saw such a young head on such old shoulders. rs."-Truth.
 COMMERCIAL Traveller popping the question)-''Oh, Frauline Anna. may 1 offer you my heart, extra quality, dur able, indestructible?'-Un Geselis- chaft.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
AsGRAVE MISTAKE.
An ErrOnt Ous Impression Cor rected in Justice to
 Sheriff White.

The Oasis has been so universally fair during the campaign that it is with surprise that its last issue should contain a statement so utterly wide from the facts as the following:
 But he (White) had already taken the oath as sheriff, and his resignation as supervisor should have been I'm mediately forthcoming. In having qualified as sheriff and continuing to act as supervisor he was actually a usurper.
 The facts are as stated on the in side page of the PRosPEcToR. Scott White did not take the oath of office as sherif, neither did he .fle his bond os sheriF unta after he had resigned from, the stperrisorship.
 He was in no manner sheriff until he had qualified as one. c. B. Kel- ton acted as the sheriff, and was the only sheriff Cochise had until MT. White saw fit to qualify. He was in the same position that the present clerk of the court was after his ap- pointment. It was ten days after he was appointed that he took the oath of office and filed his bond. MT. Emanuel acted ss clerk, and was the only clerk until the newly appointed clerk qualified.
 And Scott White was in exactly the same position. No one will maintain that the clerk after being appointed should have immediately taken his office and fired his predecessor out.
 We do not believe that MT. Bird in tentionaily did NIT. White an iDjus- tice in publishing the error, and we believe tha; he would correct it ii the opportunity offered itself, which un- fortunately it does not, owing to his issue of yesterday being the last before the election.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

children awoke with a start aud be- gan to cry lustily. The general is an interesting ,alker, and soon had them to sleep again. At II o'clock he said good night, and the band played.
 It need not be stated that there was g-ea, disappointment expressed over the speakers. The band, which at tracted the crowd, was only allowed to play once, Three cheers were given for the ticket, after which the meeting adjourned.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
A RESPECTFUL TYRANT.
Discharge Of a Di-aGreeable Duty by s
 Faithful servant.

Discharge Of a Disagreeable Duty by a
 Faithful servant.
 Beaumarchais, a famous French au- thor, had a servant, Antoine by name, who had been long in his service, and against whose tyranny he seldom ven tured to rebel. One evening, in his old age. the great man was engaged in game of chess, when Antoine en- tered and said. somewhat sharply but respectfully:
 "Mo2sieur. it is 10 o'clock"
 Very well, Antoine the master said, but let ne finish the game"
 If you don't come now, monsieur, you will be tired tomorrow morning"
 "Oh, no, think not, Antoine"
 And being tired out you will not want to get up.
 ''Oh. yes, Antoine, shall get up"
 No, monsieur, you will not get up. ;"
 "An right, Antoine; l will go in . few moments"
 And if you are not up, monsieur. at the usual time you will derange your whole day"
 Tn a minute. in minute"
 And you will have no appetite for breakfast, monsieur"
 Come now, let me finish this game: Can't you see the clock is fast?''
 But the clock is slow, monsieur"
 Il tell you il is fast" ''The clock is slow, monsieur"
 Now. now. The game is almost done. and then
 But if the game were almost done you would not have so many pawns left monsieur"
 Antoine. I should have been done already if you had let me alone"
 But I shall not let you alone, mon sieur."
 T tell you I shall finish the game. Get out, Antoine"
 We will get out together, mon- sieur''
 Antoine, I'm not baby"
 You do not cry, monsieur. Apart from that there is not much differ ence."
 The dialogue went on in this way for some time. Beaumarchais. shrug- ging his shoulder, moved pawn on the chessboard, and then Antoine, lowing very low and with great out ward show of respect to the company, seized the board and tipped it over, dumping the ckessmen in heap on the floor
 Beaumarchias was on the point of flying into a violent rage, but at the sight of his valet, who stood by wear | ing an air of sweet humility joined with the consciousness of duty nobly done, he burst into loud fit of laugh ter and suffered himself to be led home and put to bed. The next morning Beaumarchais was found dead in bed. Whether or not the excitement of this mild contro- versy with his valet hastened his | death is not known. Antoine, at any rate, was sure he had done his duty, and it is quite possible that his care of the old gentleman had already pro. | longed his life.-Aiiiliol.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
Dyspepsia.

Makes many lives miserable, and often lead tc self-dsstruction Distross after eating, sick headache, heartburn, sour stomach. mental depression, etc, are caused by this very common and increasing disease. Hoods sarsapeyils tones the stomach, creates au appetite, promotes digestion. 70 Heves headache, clean the mind, and cures dyspepsia
 In . Terrible Condition.
 sI owe my life to Hoods sar,aparilla- Fo1 two years I was in . terrible condition with eyspepsia l could eas nothing but soda crackers, and my weight fell frol TO to lss pounds Hoods SArsaparilia helped me aS once, and after using F bottles was en- tirely cured have gained my usul weight, TO pounds, and have he'd ezceIsns health ever since" T. ,. WILCOX. N-G 1as South Street, Salt lake City vsAh.
 ,Headache-HosF Flashes.-
 ~I had headache, hot flashes. soreness and swelling scross my body, pain in my right eide, with frequent vomiting. used Hoods sarsaparilla with the best results ! am in better health than for four years- Hoods earsapariIla is safe, reliable, and surs." ,. c. wIILsos. Auburn, Cal
 Hoods SarsapariIla Sold by druggists q: six for e. Prere-ed only by z l. HOOD < co. Apothse-sisa Jo0'Deses onD pe,las.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
sG,OOO Gallons.

P. A. Lofgieen writes to the PRos- RECTOR in which he says:
 Your many readers may be inter ested in an account of the artesian we'll recently struck by the McRae brothers. The well is down 2O6 feet, and has a flow of about 10000 gallons every 24 hours. The bottom is quick sand, and until more casing is ob- tained work will be suspended.
 They are now making large reservoir, and will store the water foI irrigation. The well first struck still continues to flow about 5000 gallons every 24 hours.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

George H. McInerney, for long time in the auditing department oi the Maricopa & Phoenix railroad com pany, was arrested yesterday on g warrant sworn out by General Man. aper c. 5. Masten, on charge Of em- bezzling $10O. He was taken before Justice Johnstone, who set the case for Saturday afternoon, and fixed ;hs bal at s5OO, which was scon furnished Herald
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Airs. Harwood and four of Tomb stones young girls added materially to the entertainment at Schiefelin hall last. They rendered vocal sell ections which were heartily cheered.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

He my Cook is in from his mine III the Dragon mountains. He has erected his one stamp mill, and finds it perfectly satisfactory. He will re- place the horse power now being used with an engine in few days.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Bucky O'Neill had rousing recep- ton at Bisbee last night. The band met him at the train, and escorted him up town. In fact he was received with more enthusiasm than either oi the other candidates.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

The infant daughter of MT. and Mrs. w. D. Monmonier, Maura Elvai aged ten months and twenty days died last night after short illness The funeral will take place tomorrow at ? 30 p. m. from tie family resi- dence. The bereaved parents have the sympathy of the community IT their loss.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

The Citizen says: Juan Pogue has been sentenced 10 the Phoenix asylum and will be committed in day or two. He is a devotee of the smoking of wild hemp, narcotic somewhat like opium in its effects. On bis dis charge from the asylum he will again be put on trial for perjury.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

The ladies who decorated Schieffelin hall are to be congratulated upon the success of their efforts. The stage was very attractive with its banners, notices and bunting, and profuse display of flowers.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

A great many of tue enthusiastic republicans did not go home at all last night, and look almost as weary as they will next Wednesday.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Nat Hawke was busy today placing the cards of instructions to voters, re- quired by the election law. The city posters were placed yesterday.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Scott White will talk at Schietielin hall tomorrow night, and handle the slop pail brigade in q manner they deserve.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Mrs. H. Bastian and her son Tommy returned to Tombstone today after an absence iu Germany of several months
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Wm. Case of Benson has been appointed agent of the A. X $. E. rail road at Bisbee.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Del Lewis was over from Bisbee yesterday and registered at the Pal ace
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

The president has appointed Thurs day, November 29th Gs Thanksgiving day
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
CuticuYa ResoIYent

The new Blood and Skin Purifier, internally, and CUTIcURs, the great Skin Cure, End CCrIcCEA Soar, the exquisite Skin Beautiier, externally, in stantly relieve and speedily cure every disease and bufnor Of the skin, scalp, and blood, with loss of har, from infancy to Rge from pilnples to scrouia-
 Sold everywherc. Price, CUTTcU2A, 5Gc.. SOAs, tje.; KEsOLvYNT, si.OO. Prepared by the POTTER DEUG AND CHExlcAL CORPORATION, Boston.
 f1- Send for How to Cure Skin Diseases" 6i pages 50 illustrations, and Je testimonials.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
From Fridays Daily.

Chas. Moves and c. D. Sheppard are registered Eat the Cochise.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

EANEED-Ladies and gentlemen make from 8 to g. per day folding addressing Ecirculars and corresponding for me al their homes. Permanent position. For reply Send elf-addressed stamped envelope 10 J. W. KELLER, Alishawaka, Ind, author of "Hounds and flares
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
W. MORRIS,
ROCKFELI.OW & SERvOss.

 PostCitIce-Wilcox kange-Sulphur Spring Valley, Cattle brand-Nh ieit hIp Young stock handed on hip, old stock on the side Horse brand-S H left shoulder. Also own double cross brand with N Y some times run A, quarter circle or dart: Run cattle in fs = brand.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

A frll l,re of pi,ent medicines a, the Tol..ts,one ''e< ~ r.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Dr. Prices Creein Baking Powder - Most Perfect Mado.
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
CHIRICARUA CATTLE co,

Postcffice-Tombstone,
 Kange-Between Chiricahna and Drago D ms; Steer range on Bugle and Bonita creeb Graham county.
 HCrse brand-ss left hip.
 Other brands: Circle " on Jeff side: Circl6 on left side; .SP connected, on right sid and hip; Es- on right side; Diamond ] on lef hi }, fO bar und,r. on left side and hip; IS or Eght side sz on .elt side; l.s on right. .side
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

Governor Murphy will wind up his campaign in Tucson on Monday next
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04
I.9aST FORA E3zE1Aa .Sal;,,i cest -..-.:.1.: zi-.ii Tor E.rsb: sl.:.i,.7. CG.si E, To 5lJntiis
 ry Cs..t.-.s -,@-ircies.

Ts1-fst7 .--'.,- f'-' 2 i b. or nine f-I Fcze--s us. -i.--t t r... --i --.a. .-s..-l t- tt-. med --- lf.t 4t-=H-4-- i q --. 2 .i- -ltli- ,Ct-.s. s...l --... led .- -4G -t t-t ei-..4
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

iH1.4 -.'- sl- Hitiifs441 t- tHfr t.we 4tI -u-r-l.P Ns-.s.-a.-'.I'Ci!.;i.tHl [ r.H. .isc I-- rI tEc C.. -4,EEs iszNEDiEs, n ts1 :Eg-tGs th1 awful Gs- az, 1l csa-ea its ..a-s.rc-. aod ny Glr- , ri.s af-. HIi rest, .al n al ap1,-raIcc the dis
 el-J r.i yr-!c1, t-t , c,.Li4let .A- medicine for r-r4! months a;.eF no tr1cc could be seen o: # or any pl=t Of di body. I he ls-ter- arT
Tombstone epitaph., 1894-11-04

vntrheG the disease with much interest and coula oaly sly ." Neii dO1el" The ease Was known fai md wide and every body was much surpriHed. Btt thanLa to CgTICUKA REMEUIEs. Could t1ere hs anything on earth that would cause fa;he- 10 re !oice it surely would be when the little icOcent on= could have such a remedy s: hand. lSee por,rais tsrewitD) :. 4. NTCOLES, Bunker HI, Ind.
 4 eSili was brought to me with chronic eczema that had deiied splendid treatment from many good doctors. Az regUar M. D., should have continued similar treatlent, but thought 1t aseless So put it on CUTIcURAs. The child Is well.
 C. L. GURNEY, NJ. D., Doon. Ia.
The herald., 1894-07-22
AN INCH OR so OF LAND.

A House Pared Down to Prevent It FROM
Encroaching on Lot.
The Elba apartment house, owned by
H. and H. e. Law, is four stories in
height and occupies 80 feet front on
Van Ness avenue. After standing in its
place two years it was discovered
short time ago that it was fraction OF
an inch on the land of Thomas B. Ev.
ans, adjoining Mr.. Evans had sur
veyor go carefully over the ground, and
he reported that the front line Of tho
house, on Van Ness avenue, was three
quarters of an inch on the Evans prop
erty, and the encroachment increased
to five-eighths of an inch at the reat
line, 90 feet back.
Mr. Evans notified the Messrs. Law,
and they sent for the man who built the
house, and he went all over the ground
with another surveyor. The Laws Of
fered to pay 500 for the inch OF the
fraction of it. But Evans had sent his
engineer to the top of the building, and
he dropped plumb line and declared
that the fire wall extended 4 inches as
the top over the line at the bottom. Ev.
ans added that to the three-quarters OF
an inch at the ground line and declared
that, taken up and down and back,
there was an enoroachment of over 2 ID
inches
Then the Laws said that they would
pay 800 an inch for all encroachment
that could be demonstrated. The esti-
mated value Of lots thereabouts is said
TO be $500 front foot, and 500 an
inch the Laws held to be very good fig
ure. But Evans said he would take
$3.50 and nothing less. This the Laws
would not give. Through the contract
Or, who had carried on all the negotia-
lions, they said, "Mr. Evans, if we are
on your property, we will get off. "
And the next day ladders were swung
from the roof against the side of the
house, and men began to chisel from
three-quarters to an inch and half of
the brick wall Chip by chip as the
hammers fall Mr. Evans land is being
slowly cleared a perpendicular shaw
ing from the brick wall is being scat
tered over the neighborhood, and the
tenants living in the house have real
izing sense of what it might be to livI
in boiler yard Francisco Ex-
The herald., 1894-07-22

ing whist. for while his smile is child
like aud bland his playing is all rlght'
The school trustees have decided TO
call an election for the purpose OF voting
on the question OF issuing $2O0U worth
of bonds for the purpose OF building
new school house for the south side, the
election to take place August 18th.
Miss Grace Westovsr has returned
from Catalina island trip.
r. Drummer has returned from @ Cata-
lima trip.
Mrs. w. W. Waller Of San Pedro is
visiting her parents here.
Rev. 1. NJ. Leehy ia out again after his
recent serious illness.
Miss Lottie Chaliant is visiting friends
in Los Angeles.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. j. Csrmicle are aum-
mering here.
James Bauer of Inglewood has rented
the Bruhn cottage ON the south side for
a year.
Mrs. Ken Summer6eld has returned.
George Edwards OF Gervanza ia visit
ing Msssrs. w. T. and r. G. Gillis.
DR.. Hamilton and family have taken
possession of their new and charming
home on Fifth street.
The Outlook sa7s Of the Chautauqua
assembly at Long Beach: "Miss Grace
Remington Davis greeted the audience
In queenly manner with the vocal
selection, For All Eternity, by Angelo
Mascheroni. Her sweet and naelodious
voice touched the hearts OF the audi
ence, who gave her an appliance seldom
given vocalist. She responded by re-
quest with the Lant Rose OF Summer.
Mile, the QIsdroon. will be given by
Leon McReynolds and strong cast al
the opera house during the encamp
ment.
The young ladies OF st. Augustine
parish give an entertainment Thursday
evening at Parish hall.
Communion services will be held at
the Congregational church this morn
ing.
Rev. 1. NJ. Merliu-Jones will officiate
at the soldiers home at pm. today.
Eckert & Hopt have reopened theii
| North Beach bath house restaurant.
Services at st. Augustine today will
be early celebration, 8 am. Morning
| DTQVpr.
The herald., 1894-07-22
eREELEYs MANNERS WERE BAD.
hut They Were Forgiven For Ills Fine Aft
er Dinner Speech.


The genial old philanthropist, Horace
Greeley, we1st to New Orleans after the
south had taken him to her heart in
grateful recognition Of his action in 60
ing on the JEFF Davis bail bond, and the
people were anxious to show him every
attention in their power.
A dinner seemed to be the proper
thing, and the markets Of New Orleans,
than which there are few better in the
world, were ransacked to make the oc
casion as notable for its viands as for
the distinction of the guest and the din
ers. Judge Walker, the veteran editor
Of The Picayune, presided. He was Q
great gormand, and after the manner
of Commands wished mono of the fine
points OK the dinner to be lost to the
guest for lack Of commentary.
MIR. Greeley" said he, "theso oys-
tiers are the best that come to our mar.
ket, and we think they vie with those
of Norfolk. / observe that you are not
eating them"
"Well, no, P" replied Greeley. "The
truth is l never could abide shell6sh :"
And he passed.
Then came some delicious green tur-
tie soup, which Judge Walker explain
ed was prepared from the finest fat tur-
tie the Florida bays could afford.
mo doubt, no Doubt was the reply
in Greeley's peculiar whine, "but cold
blooded animals are an abomination to
me-"
The pompano, imperial fish that it is,
and fresh from the gulf, was open to
the same objection, despite Judge Wal.
ker's eulogy, and that, too was passed.
Mr.. Greeley barely tasted the acoompa.
nying Partisan dainty and shook his
head ruefully at the idea that anybody
would impair his digestion by eating
cucumbers. Shrimp salad, another New
Orleans delicacy, proved no more tempt
ing. Shrimps he said, looked so muct
like worms that they always give hin
the creeps.
"Ah, hero is something you will like
"a homely dish in name" said Judge
Walker, "but fit for the gods 1t is {
Galicia ham. And then he went OF
to tell how the hogs from which these
hams were obtained were fed only OIL
chestnuts, making the flesh luscious and
delicious.
Perhaps SO, very interesting in
Decd" observed Greeley, "but do yor
know, Judge, that there is SO much tall
of trichina nowadays that l wouldn'
dare taste bit of pork. "
The judge gave mp in despair TIT
only things in all the array of daintie
which had been provided which Mr.
Greeley would eat were bread, potatoe
and caulif1ower, and he feared that HI
might be overlooking his stomach a
that. But when it came to the speak
ing, although he had drunk nothing bu
cold water, he spoke as one inspired and
with fervor, eloquence and tender
ness that nobody at the table could evel
forget. Chicago Inter Ocean.
The herald., 1894-07-22
INVESTIGATING AN ACCIDENT.
The Railroad Engineer Gets Out of Trouble
For Running Too Fast.

Superintendent Warren of the East
ern Illinois railway was telling tho 9TH
er evening of u certain engineer in the
employ of the road who had been re-
peatedly cautioned against running too
fast. He was running freight train,
and ON one portion of his division there
was a steep hill. His orders We're to
never permit his train to go down that
hill faster than 10 miles an hour, but it
was general belief that whenever he had
a safe opportunity he sailed down that
grade just as fast as the wheels would
turn. One day he did go down the hill
SO fast that the entire train left the
track at the bottom, and there were box
cars piled up high. An investigation
Immediately followed, and the engi-
neer, in railroad parlance, was put on
the carpet. He swore in the most
solemn terms that he went down the
hill not faster than 10 miles an hour
but that just before reaching the bot
tom he lost control of the airbrake, and
the speed became so great the train
could not keep the track; hence the
wreck, for which he was not response
Bile.
But" said his superintendent 1--WE
have q man here farmer, who was on
the hillside that day when you came
down. He stood at the edge of a clear
ing, saw you at the top and all the way
down, and he will swear that he never
saw train going SO fast in all his life,
and he is a man so years old He says
that it was next to an impossibility to
see the wheels. What do you say to
that?"
The engineer never hesitated.
81 know the man. Isaw him the day
after the wreck, and he told the same
story to me- only there was q little more
10 it. :"
"What was that?''
"Why, he told me that it was the
first train of cars he had ever seen i'll
his life, and / don't think he would be
very good judge Of speed.
There was silence in the room for
few moments, and the engineer got off
with 60 days suspension. Chicago
Herald.
The herald., 1894-07-22

days Publication in the middle Of next
month, which if successful will bring
10000 people here from all over the
lower part OF the state. Besides theae
two already noted, a third powerful
iraternal order has expressed willing
ness to arrange a date to meet here be-
fore the summer wanes.
Our county board of supervisors can
earn the everlasting gratitude of thou
sands of seaside visitors by building q
wagon bridge across the mouth of the
San Gabriel river.
Business has go increased on the
Terminal railroad lately that train for
freight exclusively will be permanent
daily institution.
DR.. and Mrs. Meredith OF Peoria, Ill.,,
were visitors yesterday.
John Galbraith and Miss FlosBie Fow-
Ter of Los Angeles sampled the menu OF
the Pavilion yesterday.
Conductor Jimmie, who had been of
on vacation, resumed his duties Friday
evening.