davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
APPLE PIE AND CHEESE.

Full many sinful notion
Conceived Of foreign powers
has come across the ocean a.
10 harm this land Of ours:
And heresies called fashions
Have modesty effaced,
And baieful, morbid passions
Corrupt our native taste.
0 tempora! o mores!
What proclamation these
That seek to dim the glories
OF apple pie and cheese!
I'm gid my education
En.a.4cs me to stand
Against the vile temptation
Held out on every hand;
Eschewing all the titles "A
With vanity replete.
I'm loyal to the victuals
Our grandsireS used to eat.
I'm glad I've got three willing boys
To hang around and tease r."
TheHmother for the filling joys ~
or apple pie and cheese!
Your favored creams and ices
And your dainty angel food
Are mighty fine devices
: To regale the dainty dude; s..
Your terrapin and oysters, ..-.
With wine to wash 'em down,
Are inst the thing for ROSTERS
When painting Of the town.
No fippant Sugared notion
Shall my appetite appease,
Or bate my souls devotion
TO apple pie and cheese.
The pie my Julia makes me.
Goa bless her Yankee waysl
On memory's pinions takes,me
10 dear Green Mountain days;
And seems like l saw mother
Lean on the window SILL ,....
A-handin' me and brother
What she knows ill keep us still:
And these feelings are SO grateful,
Says 1: Julia, If you please,
I'll take another plateful
OF apple pie and cheese,"
And cheese! No alien it, sir, :
That's bought across the sea;
No Dutch antique, nor Switzer,
Nor glutinous de Brie.
There's nothing 1 abhor so
AS mawmetS OF this ilk.
Give me the harmless moroccan
That's made Of true blue milkl
No matter what conditions
Dyspeptic come to feaze,
The best Of all physicians
Is apple pie and cheese!
Though ribalds may decry en-,
For these twin boons we stand
Partaking thrice per diem
OF their fullnesS out of hand.
No enervating fashion
Shall cheat us of our right
To crafty our passion
With a mouthful at bite!
Wen cut it square or bias,
Or any way we please,
And faith shall justify us
When we carve our pie and cheese.
Field, in New Haven Register.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
||I|||1;lE||;iZ
RaDfael Angelo Ruh

2SdPHae1, 12IIgeI0,
The "LINENE" are the Best and NJ ost Econom
zeal Collars and Cuffs worn; they are made of fine
CLOTH both sides finished alike and, being reversi.
ble one collar is equal to two of any other kind.
Thytt 1ueu 1pear 1rell an d lool: lux OF re-
Collars or Five Pas.s Of Guns for Twenty-Five
Cents.
cents. Name style and size. Address
REVERSIBLE COLLAR COMPANY,
u Franklin St.. New York. q Kilby st., Boston.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

PATS Objection to the Bicycle "Begor-
ra !! whin | walk prefer to have my feet on
the ground. BOSTON Transcript.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

In breach-of-promise suits man Is very
fF Ire stn a{ Ike boy learning the aRhabet
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
Texas Cotton Palace.

The Missouri, Kansas and Texas Rv will,
sell tickets at one fare for the round trim to
Waco, Tex, on Nov. 18th, 2oth and 9th, good
to return until Dec. Sth. For further infor-
nation address H. A. Chemir, Room IL The
Rookery, Chicago, III.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
HOBBIES AND GEOMETRY,
How He Happened to Fall In Love with
lEWent to Oxford.

Hobbies got his Latin and Greek at
Malmesbury from a young scholar
named Richard Latymer, newly come
from the university doubtless meaning
Oxford), and, as was then common, he
acquired by exclusive attention to those
languages facility in them which now
seems not only precocious but almost
monstrous, says the National Review.
ut is not to be forgotten, says Aubrey,
that before he went to the university
he had turned Euripidis Medea out of
Greek into Latin iambiques, which he
presented to his master" We need not
regret that this performance is not pre-
served, for Hobbies, though ready
enough in handling both Greek and
Latin, does not appear to have been a
fine or accurate scholar
Hobbies was not yet fifteen when he
Went to Oxford. He did not care much
for logic, yet he learned it and thought
himself good disputant. There is no
reason to think he learned anything
else at Oxford save strong dislike Of
academic institutions and methods. He
turned from, the official studies to
amuse himself with geography and
voyages. AS to mathematics, there
was no official recognition of them at
all while Hobbies was at the university.
So there is nothing improbable in the
statement that Hobbies had never
opened copy Of Euclid until he was
near middle age. The story is best told
In Aubrey's own words:
he was forty years old before he
looked on geometry, which happened
accidentally, being in a gentleman's
library, 'Euclid's Elements lay open
and it was the fifth Prob, Lib l. So
he reads the proposition. BY says
he; this is impossible So he reads the
demonstration of it, which referred
him back to another, which he also
read, 'et sic deinceps,' that at last he
was demonstratively convinced of that
truth. This made him in love with
geometry"
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
Harvest Excursions.

Nov, Goth, Dec. 4th and 18th the Missouri.
Kansas and Texas Ry. will sell tickets at
greatly reduced rates to all points in Texas.
Eddy, New Mexico. and Lake Charles, La
For particulars address H. A. Chemir, Room
IL The Rookery, Chicago, III.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
The Heather Chinee

Is not beauty. No more are you when
your complexion has an orange tint That
means that you are bilious, fact furtlI :.
evinced by discomfort on the right side, sick
headache, vertigo, nausea and furred tongue.
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters will take the
blle out OF your blood, regulate your bowels,
set your stomach in good working order-in
two words, cure you. Use it and cease to be
yellow. 1t cures malarial, rheumatic and
kidney trouble.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

THAT'S good idea. Garry it out" said
the editor to the man who came in with a
better plan for running the paper-Phila-
delphia Record
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

JAGsoN says its always paradox of drink
that man will get away with more than be
can carry.-Elmlra Gazette.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

"GARLAND" Stoves and Ranges are no
higher lin price than the worthless limitations.
Ask to see them
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

THERE'S one thing certain, Mrs Flip
py's grief is really genuine ''Mercy, yes;
her hus band was so much company for her
new pet parrot u Inter Ocean.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15
Hypocllo1ldrica1,

eases, or drains upon the system,
excuses, or abuses, bad habits, or
early vices, are treated through cor
respondence at their homes, with
uniform success, by the Specialists
of the I1lvalids' Hotel and Surgical
Institute, Of Buffalo, N. Y. A book
of 136 large pages, devoted to the
consideration Of the 1na1adies above
limited at, may be had, mailed Sc
f1t,eLy sealed from observation, IN a
plain eu0elobe, by sending 10 cents
i'll ole-cent stamps (for postage on
.Book), to the Worlds Dispensary
Medical Association, at the above
mentioned Hotel. For more than
a quarter Of a century, physicians
connected with this widely cele-
brated Institution, have made the.
treatment Of the delicate diseases
above referred to, their sole study
and practice. Thousands, have con-
suited them. This vast experience
has naturally resulted i'll improved
methods and means of cure.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

"You look so much like your brother
said Dennis to Phelim, 'that could tell yez
was brothers if I'd never seen aither av
yez."-Tit-Bits.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

Conscience, honor and credit are
all in our interest; and without the
concurrence of the former, the latter
are but impositions upon ourselves
and others Steele.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

PLEASANT, Wholesome, Speedy, for coughs
IS IS! Hale's Honey Of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

IT'S a sure sign that ague has come to stay
when it gives you the shake.-Inter Ocean.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

The man who loves his duty will not
slight Tram Horn.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price 75c.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-11-15

HEN t h e gun
bark Plover had
anchored off the
west coast of
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
Origin of a Phrase.

In 1886 Sir William Davenant, the Sec
ond poet laureate, produced comedy en-,
titled '"1rhe Wits" in which two of the
characters, being Northern gentlemen
and bred to a rural life, are represented as
having undertaken, with little money in
their purses, to repair to London, ''to
borrow one of them declares, where
I'll never lend, and buy what I'll never
pay for The other observes. eve come
to be the business of all eyes," then hay
ing intended to paint the town red, they
like in Paris. ''All this without charge
too, / mean, to us; we bring humorous
old philosophy to town, that says, pay
nothing"
When an improvident brother Of one of
these Adventures asks, chow shall !
live?' the ready answer is, "as we intend
to do, by our wis.," and even their horses
should have to get subsistence by ''their
own wits, too" When the same improvi-
dent speaker remarks that the Magma
Charta does not allow subject to live by
his WITS" and that there is no statute
for it, he is haughtily Informed ''your
common lawyer was no antiquary." But
the former disputant, insisting that such
since the canons Of the church sanction
no such proceedings. is silenced by the re-
tort. you have met with a dull civilian,
too"
In the catastrophe of the play, how
ever, the two Adventures are made to re-
pent of their foolhardiness, and to return
to their congenial mode of living. the
greater fool saying that the tricks played
upon him may point Il moral.
"Such as their naughty fancy we'll BELTS.
That undertake to live here by their Wits
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31

Bermuda's Sunny Isles.

Due east of Charleston. seven hundred
miles southeast of New York. the three
hundred and siNty-fve islands of the Ber-
mudas raise their rocky shores above the
waves of the Atlantic. Farther removed
from all points of land than any other
group in the world. They smile in the
radiance of their perpetual sunshine and
tempt the world to their golden paradise.
Three lines of steamers connect the Sun
ny Islands with the work-day world !;
one runs from Halifax to Turks Island:
one from St. John, New Brunswick. to
Demerara via the Windward Islands,
both touching at Bermuda about once in
three weeks; and the Quebec Steamship
Company. carrying the United States,
Canadian and Bermuda mails, which regu-
larry conducts the service with two steam
ers, Orinoco and Trinidad, by weekly de-
partures every Thursday from New York
and Hamilton. from January to July. and
by fortnightly trips of the Orinoco the re-
mainder of the year. From July to Janu-
airy those i'll Bermuda wait two long
weeks for mail, for papers. for new faces.
for an opportunity to leave the islands.
Except for the cable. laid between herself
and Halifax in 1890. she is cut off from
the world, but self-sufficient as a cont
nent. she sits in placid isolation on her
coral reefs and lets it rush on without her
The Orinoeo reaches her destination Sun.
day morning, if the weather is favorable
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
WHO CAN EXPLAIN IT?

What was it that Outran the Message
that was Waiting to be Sent.
An extraordinary incident occurred
few nights since in the course of tele-
eraphic business between this city and
little out-of-the-way Office, says the Pitts
burg Dispatch. The facts are unques
tionabie, and can be vouched for by two
operators, who have had no communica-
ton since the strange event occurred.
There was filed in the Pittsburg gen
eral office of the Western Union Tele-
graph Company, shortly before midnight
between last Thursday and Friday, u
message which read:
William Murray, Elwood junction.
Pa.-Your mother died tonight. Come
home"
This message was marked Rush" 1t
was shot upstairs in the pneumatic tube
and laid on the desk of one of the best
the name of the operator at ElWood
Junction. That is 4 small station on the
Pittsburg & Lake Erie Railroad, where
there is rarely any commercial business.
At night there is scarcely any railroad
business, as only an occasional freight
passes the place, and that is slow bust
ness.
The Pittsburg operator began calling
Elwood Junction, sounding the two let
ters which indicate that Geographic sta
ton. There was no response, and the
call was continued for some time. Then.
as still 10 answer came, another piece OF
work was taken up and dispatched. The
calling of Elwood Junction was resumed.
The Fittsburg operator was very busy
and began to be annoyed. After several
minutes of sounding the answer came.
whats the matter, old man" in
quired the Pittsbupg sender over the line.
The operator at ElWood junction re-
Piled: Il fell asleep in my chair"
Don't de it." answered Pittsburg; Its
bad habit"
Il wish I had not" responded Elwood,
for | had a bad dream. | dreamed my
mother was dead"
Don't mind dreams,'' said Pittsburg,
There's nothing in them. l have a mes
sage for somebody out your way.
The message for William Murray was
then licked over the wire. There was Il
brief pause when the telegram was ended.
Then there came back these words from
the night operator at Elwood Junction:
My God. Trouble never ceases! 1t is
my mother
The operator at the junction was Will
lam Murray. and he had received the
message announcing the death of his
own mother within an hour of the time
when he had dreamed Of her death. The
PittSburg operator was affected by the
answer, and he wired a message OF SYM
pathy asking pardon for his testing SEN
fences.
William Murray's mother was Mrs.
Honora Maloney. of Mckee's Rocks. She
had been married a second time to Nicho-
las Maloney
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
The Old Sailors Dream.

Sam Pemberton, who had been in his
younger days captain of a whaling YES
sci, was invited with his wife to take tea
at neighbours and during the meal some
one passed the Captain plate of cheese
whereupon his wife became much agita-
ted and exclaimed: "Sam Pemberton.
you be very careful how you eat cheese;
you know how / have to suffer whenever
you do All who were seated about the
table were curious to know how it was
that Mrs. Pemberton should suffer when
Mr.. PembertOn ate cheese, and so the
Captain explained after this manner.
'I'll tell We what Marian means. Ye
see, about a week after I'd left tn shin
we were visitin' our daughter Jane down
in the city, and one night we had for sup
per some cheese er good deal like this
and, as [ like cheese, / ate quite err lot on
it. Wall, after I'd gone ter bed he'd tn
greatest dream you ever heerd tell of.
I dreamed that / was aboard the OF ship,
an there cum up such er storm as We new
err see. [ see there wasn't but one thing
ter do, so / yelled ter tn furst mate:
'Heave over tn bow anchor Wall. he
tried, but somehow he couldn't do it:
whereupon / sprung up and yelled: Stand
aside, We land lubber, an see me heaye it, >
and after Juggling a good deal over it
went. But would you believe me. thet
OF bow anchor begun ter holler: Sam
Pemberton! Sam Pemberton, what be
yew er-doin' of?
tibet walked me up, and what dew We
spose I'd did?
''Instid of throwing the bow anchor,
I'd pitched Marian out of bed!"-New
York Voice.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
Accident at Brooklyn Bridge.

The full-rigged ship Harry Williams
met with peculiar accident while pass
ing under the Brooklyn bridge recently.
A sailor was at work near the top of the
mainmast as the ship approached the
structure. The mainmast was unusually
high, and as the ship swept down the river
q carpenter at work ON the bridge yelled
to the sailor, who slid down just in time
to save himself. The foremost passed un-
der safely, but the top of the mainmast
struck the bridge, and about six feet of
the stick was snapped off. 1t was said at
the bridge entrance that this was the first
accident of the kind recorded since the
bridge was erected
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
SHEKELS CAME DOWN.
Maecabaean Silver Pieces Made q DRUG
on the Market


Some twenty-five years ago a peasant
dug up, near Jericho, pot full of silver
shekels; they were Maccabaean shekels.
and of the scarccst kind There were, I
believe, 120 of them. About five-and-
twenty were secured by friend of mine,
who sent them to me with request that
| would take them to the museum, where
they would be examined, valued and kept.
This | did. ls-Maccabaean shek-
els-before this find, were worth about 10
guineas apiece.
When / poured out the contents of my
bag on the table of the numismatic chief.
then my old friend W. S. w. Vaux, he
called out to his two assistants:
Here's misfortune; come here quick
ly. What misfortune! Shekels! All
these are shekels!'
Then they all three laid their heads up
on the table and walled aloud-for the
value of the shekels had gone down at
that one stroke by about one-half, and
those that had shekels in their collections
could no longer brag and boast of their
value.
What became of this particular lot of
shekels know not. But the moral of the
story is that the discovery of buried treas
ure is not a thing always to be prayed for,
because it might, in some cases, prove
highly destructive to property.-Walter
ReSant in the Queen,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
NOT AFRAID OF DOGS.
They XIV Just WHIT to DO When q
Big One Came After Them.

They XIV Just What to DO When a
Big One Came After Them.
| was standing on the railroad plat
form of small country town a feW
evenings ago. There were four men
grouped apart from where l was stand
beside the edge of the platform were the
grounds of some private residence,
fenced in by an iron fence only three
feet high. Inside the fence, held by a
heavy chain, was dog of the deer hound
breed. He was impatiently chaf1ng
against the restraint imposed upon him
and pulled and tugged at his chain at a
great rate The four men were standing
looking at him and making comments.
L don't know why it is, said one,
that I never have the least sensation
of fear of dogs. Why, if that dog was
to break loose and jump the fence 1t
might be dangerous, but I'd be just as
cool as | am now. -,
1--WE had several narrow escapes with
ferocious Dogs said another, land I've
trained myself to instantly crush them
by looking them in the eye steadily. No
tice nv eye?" The other three peered
into it, We'll, gentlemen, that eye has
cowed dogs that would take a leg OIL
you at bite"
The third man, who had been for some
time trying to interrupt No. 2 in order
get off his little. tale, seized the opportu.,,
nifty and struck in. s. SIMPLY kick 'em, y
he said. I've had dogs come at me at
lightning speed, gentlemen, jaws wide
open and their eyes red with rage. All
I've done is to calmly step aside and
plant one tremendous kick in their ribs
as they went by. It took courage, but
1 was always there. I never had one
to come back at me yet
The fourth man was just opening his
mouth to tell his little lie when the deer
hound over the fence got loose, and prob.
ably not thinking of the four men at all
bounded over the fence to make good his
liberty. / watched to see the man with
the wonderful eye get in his work, and
the kicker do his great kicking act, and
the man with the iron nerve stand coolly
with his arms folded, but none of them
was doing his specially that day.
Instead the whole one-horse quartette
turned and jostled and bumped and trod
on each others toes in a wild endeavo1
to get out of the way of that deerhound
The head of the iron-nerved man bumped
into the man with the mesmeric eye and
damned his hat down so that the luste1
of the eye was dimmed, and | suppose
that's why it didn't work. The man
who always kicked vicious dogs did get
in his Kick, but it was on my right shin
accidentally, as he rushed by me to save
his life But the deerhound rushed over
the fields without looking at any of the
heroes.-Mount Holly Dispatch.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
THE ARMADILLO AS A FORAGER.

Habits Of an Fec cntric Ani1naI-A Mouse
ard Insect Diet.
The armadillo, as eccentric IN his hab-
it's as in his appearance, does the duty OF
the domestic cat among the held mice IN
South America, which are terribly de-
structive. Voracious in his appetite, he
is sedentary by inclination, but he hnds
his game with very little trouble. Mice
gre ALWAYS more or less abundant,
though periodically, and almost punctu-
ally their numbers decline, but in GER
tain years they positively swarm.
Then the dogs subsist on them, they
fatten the poultry, and great fights of
fowls in the air are perpetually on the
hover over their breeding grounds. AS
for the armadillo, he goes to work me-
thodically, quartering the plain like a
well-bred eagle, and shifting the earth
with preterna tural acuteness. Wnen ms
nose informs him that mouse Is near
he creeps up stealthily toward the
sport; then, slowly dragging himself up
and making his spring. he traps the
mouse, or whole family Of mice, be-
meath his body.
But he does not confne himself to a
mouse and insect diet, and in attacking
the snake he uses his impenetrable body
friend of Mr. Hudson witnessed one of
these encounters. The armadillo
rushed upon snake, which yainly sought
to escape, and rocked himself to and fro
on the body until the victim was cut up
into sections under the sharp edges of the
armadillo's bony covering. Should ami
NAL food fail him, the armadillo falls
back upon vegetables, so that he need
never take more than Indispensable exer-
else, and can always keep himself in
comfortable condition. Another inveter-
ate enemy of the snakes is their. con
gener. the iguana, or great tree lizard
of which Mr.. Hudson tells comical
story, related to him by Guacho friend,
who was riding carelessly along, letting
one end of his lasso trail behind.
He noticed a large iguana lying ap-
parently asleep in the sun, and, though he
rode by it very closely, it did not stir;
but no sooner had he passed it than it
raised it's head and fixed it's attention on
the forty feet Of lasso trailing slowly by.
Suddenly it dashed after the rope and
dealt it succession of violent blows
with it's tail When the whole of the las
so, several yards of which had been
pounded in vain, had been dragged by,
the lizard. with uplifted head, continued
gazing after it with the greatest aston
ishment. Never had such a wonderful
snake crossed it's path before.-Edin-
burgh Review.