davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

ODDS AND ENDS.

Professor Garner says that gorillas do
not converse with chimpanzees.
Three out Of the first four presidents Of
the United States married widows.
Workmen in Italy wear boards as q
rule, owing 70 the cost Of shaving.
The jewelers. wheel was employed by
Greek artisans in cutting canoes from
agate.
During Victcria's reign India has coin
ed 100000 in gold and e206, 900, 900 in
silver.
Don't growl because its raining. If it
was dry weather, you might get sun
struck.
1t is computed that 600 cattle give 67
tons of beef and 1000 sheep 12t tons Of
mutton.
The Chinese claim to have possessed
the art Of enameling metals from at least
2OOO 3. c.
All the glaciers in the Alps would not
equal in size one Of the largest in tire
territory Of Alaska
Since the dawn Of human life NADIA
gascar has been inhabited by at least y
species Of gigantic birds.
An advertisement in n Chicago paper
describing lost dog stated that the ami
nal has gold capped tooth.
There are in the world more than 100,-
600 blind people, not counting the shop
keepers who do not advertise.
Counting ont Sundays and holidays,
the people Of this country work 800 days
to produce $l9, ,JO0,O 900 Of wealth
American buggies are superseding
those Of English make in London and
Paris. The only light, graceful vehicles
in Europe come from this country.
At Lommatzsch, Saxony, a woman Of
G. has received ten blows with stick
by order ofthe bursomaster, and in the
presence Of a doctor, for habitual drunk
enness.
Walter Bcsant. among other reasons
for his opposition to woman suffrage,
says that men have TO 10 the cOnquerlng,
the defending and the providing, and
they ought to do The governing.
Joshua Thomas Of Baltimore, who
was a member Of General Lees staff,
has given to the Maryland Confederate
home the camp chair used by the gen
eral 1t was originally captured from
the Federal troops.
New Orleans, with a population of
over $4,000, is said by The National
Police Reporter to have a most made
quate police force. The city is patrolled
at night by not over Sc men and by day
by 50 men. During last year two mem
bers Of the force were murdered and II
seriously injured in the discharge OF
their duties.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
The Nicholson Creditors.

Judges Fowler and Burke have
signed an order rtferering to the
auditor OF the court all petitions
that haye been fled by ere litors OF
the insolvent estate OF j. j. Mich
olson & Sons who claim to have
priority of lien over the general
creditors of the estate. y mum
Der OF such claims for preferei
payment have been put forward hy
bankers and others and by persons
who instituted attachment proceed.
.lngs intended to reach funds IN
the hands of trustees of Mr.. Mich
olson under the deed Of trust to
Messrs. Carter aud Aiken. The
auditor is authorized to take any
testimony that may be deSl ed by
any creditors il reference to the
establishment or priority Of their
claims. Four:hundred and twelve
claims have so far been filed in
the insolvency proceedings. Bait.
SIN.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
.I,Africninee Made iier sea.iok.

ANY one who has seen L 'Africaine,
"Pinafore" or "America" will remem-
Der the realistic manner in which stage
vessels rock up and down, as though
riding the long swells Of a genuine
ocean.
1t was in the third act Of "L'Afri'
caine," while the vessel was tipping
gracefully up and down, that man and
woman crowded rather hastily from
their seats in the parquet and passed ont
through one Of the exit tunnels Persons
along the aisles noticed that the woman
was quite pale and leaned heavily
against her escort She was scasick
This woman resides in Chicago but has
Travelled much, and in all her travels
she has never been able to overcome
tendency to seasickncss. So sensitive 10
this malady is she that the sickness
comes upon her before she boards YES
sci for a transatlantic trip The appre-
hcnsion Of what is coming huTries the
attack. During voyage She never leaves
her statcroom. She goes ashore some
what languid, but possessed of a iero
cious appetite
At Paris in 1878 she became seaSick
while looking at marine panorama.
The suggestion was too much for her
Likewise the tossing Of the vessel IN
"L'Africaine" brought memories not
altogether pleasant. She could not con-
trol her emotions, and SO she retroated
Chicago Record
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
THE BRAvEST BATTLES.
Joaquin Miller

[Joaquin Miller
The bravest battle that eyer was fought
Shall | tell you where or whenl
Ou the maps of the world you'll fod
not.
Twas fought BY the mothers of men.
Nay not with cannons or battle shot,
With a sword or noble pen.
Nay not with eloquent word or thought
From mothers OF wonderful men.
But deep in welled up woman's heart
OF woman that would not yield
But brayely, silently bore her part
Lol there is that battlefield.
Yet faithful still as bridge of stars,
She fights in her walled-up town,
Fights on and on, in the endless wars,
Then silent, unseen, goes down.
o ye with banners and battle shet,
And soldiers to shout and praise,
tell you the kingliest victories fought
Are fought in these silent ways.
o spotless woman in world of shame.
With splendid and silent scOrn,
Go back to God as white as you came,
The kingliest warrior born.
No marshalling troops. no blvouac song
No banner to sleam and wavel
But, oh these battles! they last so long
From baby-hood to the grave!
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
The Dcadly Cigarette.

"This idea of taxing cigarettes is a
greet one" said the man who is always
in earnest. They are pernicious and
health destroying. Why, l knew a man
who was killed by cigarettes"
eyes, such cases are said to be COM
mon"
"Such a nice young man he was too.
Cut off right in the prime Of manhood.
1t was a cruel blow to his friends"
"It's terrible" said his auditor, with a
sympathetic sniff.
Il will never forget when they brought
him home mangled and
BEG pardon. Did you say man
gledT"
Certainly"
but I didn't know cigarettes man.
gled."
But, you see, this young man wa;
run over by a wagon load Of them Oh
their way to a Richmond warehouse
He VAS
But his listener had vanished.-Ameri
can Industry.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

Boston mothers are making a stand
against the everlasting Of girl pupils in
the schools. \ petition containing hun
dreds Of names and asking that Greek
be made elective instead Of prescribed
was presented at a meeting Of the school
committee. \ woman who found her
daughter breaking down in health from
oyerstudy at the Latin school origi-
mated the petition, which received the
signatures Of many prominent men,
among them being educators, ministers,
lawyers and physicians. The mothers
are willing to have German substituted
for Greek, believing that the study OF
the modern language will tax the minds
of their daughters less and at the same
time be more useful. One Of the peti-
tioners says: 1T certainly seems strange
that Of the large number Of girls who
enter the Latin school such 4 small per-
centage ever graduate. The course Is too
hard. The girls cannot stand 1t. They
cannot, or rather do not, exercise with
baseball and out Of door sports as the
BOYS do. Some skeptics have raised the
point that our daughters break down
because they 90 out tOparties and TO the
theaters. We have not found that to be
the case in a single instance. Many OF
the mothers at the meetings have said
Why. my daughter studies from four TO
six hours a day, and she doesn't sleep
nights Unless any ono wants to teach
the classical studies, German and
French are much more useful TO the
girls than the Greek which they have 70
take now. Boston Letter.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Why he Suffered.

The man with the cork legs was
in q bad humor because lie couldn't
go skating and he growled wheU
ho handed his fare to the street
car conductor.
"Well, 1t is pretty hard," admit
ted the conductor, "but you have
one advantage"
"rd like to know what it H."
"You are never troubled With
cold feet"
perhaps not in the daytime,
he admitted In a grudging way,
"but | sm at night
"Oh, come off, protes ed the
conductor.
ats true, tell you,' he said
sharply.
"Get out. You haven't any
feet to he cold"
"Possibly not, Tut my wife has,
And the conductor rang up
seven fares before he recovered
from the shock.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Pleasing Their Vanity.


he bad been the leading dealer
in ladies' shoes for years and had
retired with fortune.
"HOw we're you so sHccessfnl ~
asked less fortunate rival.
"Easiest thing in the world" he
replied. The first thing l did
when l began was to mark down
every pair CT shoes IN the place and
keep the stock that way
"Mark down."
eyes,"
"In price, do you mean ~
The wise dealer laughed softly,
"Oh, no. he said. SIN siIe.'-
Detroit Free Press.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
REPORTING SPEECHES IN CONGRESS.
ttenographcrs Able to Make Big Money
During Debates In the Houses.

ttenOgrapherS ADle TO make Dig 1-CAfC
During Debates In the Houses.
1t is true that there are 20 or 80 moro
members in congress than there were o
few years ago, but a change has come
over the spirit Of debate. Long winded
speeches are rarer; men talk quicker and
say more. The incessant agitation Of
the tariff has been an education in fig
ures, and if a man makes wild state
ment he is promptly contradicted
a stenographer who can report the
house debate is at the top Of his profess
sion, and there is no more promotion for
him. Tho men who do this work earn
incomes that would make the average
professional man turn green with eI w,
for when congress is not in session they
are in demand at the highest figures to
report the most important matters.
There was a man in Washington once,
q good many years ago, who through
bad habits mad lost every faculty he had
except that Of writing shorthand not
only as fast as people could talk, but as
fast as they could think. In his inter
walls of sobriety he could make money
hand over fist as a house stenographer.
He generally kept fairly sober during
the session Of congress, but as soon as II
was over he would deliberately drinl:
himself into insensibility.
His services were so much III demand
that men who knew his powers and
wanted his services would come to
Washington, bring him ont Of his fit Of
dissipation, get him sobered up, taxa
him off to the scene Of action and watch
him like q hawk while the case-gen'
orally great lawsuit-lasted. Then, az
soon as it was over, he would 90 back
to his evil ways. Bat as long as hc lived
he could write shorthand, and IS long
as he lived he made a fine income
There is a superstition that every tariff
bill calls for the death Of one Of tho
house stenographers. The Mckinley bill,
the Morrison bill, both had their vic
tins, and if n man has a headache now
among the stonographcrs they al look
blue and feel black. Boston Transcript
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

Mrs. Jacob 5. was an estimaOie
woman, wLo in the early part OF
her married life discovered that
she had not been fortunate in her
choice of a husband. Several years
after becoming Mrs. she heard OF
the approaching marriage Of Jennie
Krale, the daughter of a neighbor,
and, meeting the girl one day, she
said: "Vell, Shennie, / hear you
vas t'inkin' 'hout getting married;
vas dot so :"
The gill blushingly admitted the
truth OF the rumor.
"Vell, Shenbie," said Mrs. S, sit
would be veil for you to dink twice
before you marrys anybody
"Did you think twice about 1t
when you we're marrled'' asked
Jennie.
"Vell, yes; l did, replied Mrs. s,
after a little hesitation. ~ dlnk
twice, Shennie, but l made yon
grand meestske, Shennie. 1 did
not dInk her second time until
after I was married.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
r,tenuattng Clrcumstanees.

There was trouble in the coffee com
plexioned young woman's eye as the two
policemen escorted her from the alley.
"What made you hit that girl:' asked
one Of the officers.
"What made me hit 'er? l had er call
ter hit 'er Da's what made me hit 'er. y
-'She wasn't doing anything. You were
making all the trouble"
IL had right ter make de trouble.
Twas her talk dat done made me smash
'er."
what did she say:'
"She didn't say muffin. She Jes sinnl-
vated."
well" asked the officer impatiently,
"what did she insinuatet'
"'Twas bout ma new dress. She done
axed me how got de labels often de ham
covers dat l sewed in foh sleeves. An den
| smashed 'er."-WashingtOn Star.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
uperstition.

\ gentleman who had been din
ing at a restaurant, and who often
ordered a dozen oysters, counted
them one day and found bat IL.
Still another day he counted them,
with the same result. Then be
said to the waiter:
"Why do you give me only II
oysters when l order a dozen p
"Ob, Sir" answered the waiter
81 dldn't think you'd want to be
settin 13 at table, sir !"-YOuth's
Companion.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Model Man.

OF course women like good men, but
they don't like prigs One bright girl
was entertaining another with the de-
scription Of a young man who lived next
door. He seemed n model. He never
smoked, played cards staid out late,
talked back 70 his mother, told lie or
said a swear word in all his life.
"Now, what do You think Of a young
man like thatg' cried the first bright
girl, with the expression Of one who has
played the ace Of trumpS.
II think, said the second bright girl
slowly and solemnly, "that he must have
liver complaint and have it badly. -
Chicago Post
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Pitiable Ignorance.

Wife-John, what's scigniorage?
Husband-Is it possible you arc SO
ignorant as that?
Eyes. want to know.
"Seign-don't you read the papors'
ANY child could tell you. "
"Well, what does it mean;'
"Why, my dear, should be ashamed
to have you talk in public. You must
read up"--
"John. "
"Weny"
"What is meant by seigniorage:"
Observation-Disclosures IwOn' humor
such pitiable ignorance. I'm perfectly
astomded I'm ashamed Of you. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Partial to Marriage.

In Georgia the negroes culinary
the whites, some of them marry.
Ing two or three times a year. A
negro will quit his wife in Atlanta
and go mp to Marietta and get
another one anti call for his license
and get marri ed and stick until
she quits him or he gets tired ol
her, and the u he skipS over tc
Rome or SOM ewhere and tries II
again.-ChiDago Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
A Sudden Goodness.

Miss Highfier-Oh, Mr.. Slppy,
how nice it was of you to name
your new hunter after me! What
is she llkef
Young Sippy-Well, she's a
regular sumner, Miss Highflier.
Not much to look at, dOL't cher
know, but very fast.
And he cannot maka ont why
she is 80 cool to him nOw.-NOgue.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20


The notices tackled to fences and
tree trunks IN rural neighborhoods
are sometimes amusing specimens
of composition. The writer saw
the following.tacked to a tree one
day last summer. 1t was written
In blue ink on a piece Of brown
wrapping paper;
GA stray mare horse, wich went
away from the Premises OF the IN.
dercined a week ago come a Fri
day, wicb she had on a roap halter
and a letter X on her aye with a
white star on her fore he'd the rest
of heI is lite sorel excepting tale
wlch is blak. A liberal reward
will be payed for her return to Dir,
a. k.
"Also saddell marks on her
back."-Youth's Con panIon.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Take.n at Hia Word

y Texas schoolteacher lost one
of his scholars very suddenly aud
Unexpectedly. The class was
paTsing a sentence.
"Wbat is the imperative OF the
verb to goi" asked the teacher.
81 dunno.
"Go!"
"Thank you" murmured the lad
as he shot ont of the door before
the teacher could prepare his
veto message Texas Sifhngs.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
A VIndication.

There's no use in carvings joke too
far" said Washington man to New
Yorker philadelphia isn't nearly as
slow town as we have been led 20 be-
lieve"
You think sol"
ITO be sure. was over there the
other day. They use 1894 calendars the
same as we do. "-Washington STAR
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
The Western Express.

~ love her, mother" said Guion
Esterhall.
he was not, in a general way,
much OF a talIer. Consequently,
when he spoke, his words had the
weight of sense and rarity. But
Mrs. Esterhall, the fine old lady
who sat erect before the clear, sea-
coal fire, was too much excited to
consider all this.
"The wife of my son, GuloD,"
said she, "should be a lady, born
and bred-1Ot one of those girls
who have had to fight the world
until all gentieneSS, grace and un-
sel6shneSS Is ground ont Of them.
No, l can never give my consent y
The young man smiled slightly.
"Mother," said he, "the diamond
itself hardly possesses its true fl
nancial value until the facets are
ground with much friction"
"Humpb" " said Mrs. Esterhall'
''No one is talking Of diamonds"
81 may bring her to see 700,
mother?'
Mrs. ESterhall shook her head.
~ have no desire to receive her.
said she. "But, Guy, here are the
tickets for Henry Irving tonight
Carrie Chippendale has promised
to accompany me-Ot course, you
will be on hand at half-past seven
to be our escortn'
off you wish it, MOTHER
The old lady smiled to herself
when Guion was gone.
ga little management she
thought, "a little iudiciOus firm
ness, and Guy will get oyer this
boyish fancy Of his. The idea of a
shop girl for my daughterln.law-
for Mrs. GuiOn Esterhall 1 think
the lad must have taken leave o.
his sensesw
And in her secret heart she rtjoic
ed with an exceeding great rejOlciOg
when Miss Chippendale arrived
that evening, in a pale-blue MORE
gown, with a glittering necklace
around her perfect white throat
and a bunch of hot.hOuse roses II
her eOrsage.
"lf we are to have a private box,
said Miss Chippendale, buttOuing
the seventeenth button of her
glove, some may as well go in fuI
dress, don't you knowf"
"My dear, you are looking love
ly," said Mrs. Esterhall, approx
ingly.
Miss CulppendaIe was a sOEt 0
human camel.a jsponlca-falr
graceful and serene-with big, ex
presslonless blue eyes, cherry-red
lips, flax gold hair, drawn in fluffy
crimps over her forehead, and an
unchanging society-smile perpetu
ally lowering around her lips. She
had been highly educated, and she
was destined by her parents tC
make a brilliant match. The
Chippendales belonged to the
arlstocrscy-that is to say, they
had never done any work and had
always spent great deal of money
And Mrs. Esterhall had decide6
that Carrie Chippendale was th'
very wife for her son.
1t only she could Con- cert GuiOr
to the same opinion.
GuiOn EsterbaII was exceedIngl,
courteous to Miss Cbippendale tha
evening, but not a whit more 50
than he was TO his own mother
The old lady was somewhat dis
appointed. W
"But never miDd," she said tt
herself, tone most have patience.
She wentshopping the next day
to match q shade Of Berlin wool
to buy some lace fOunces, and t.
decide on new portieres for he
drawing room at EsteIball Manor
at one or two O'clock she expert
enced, not hunger, but lady.lik
sensation that "tired nature need
cd some sort OF "sweet restoration.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

From a Local Point OF View.
City Editor-Yes, there 10 .
vacancy on Dy staff. Do you
think you could cOndenSe 3 column
of ideas into tao inches OF space :
Applicant (facetlOusly)-I think
l would succeed better in spread
ing two inches of ideas over q
column of space.
City Editor-YOu won't do for
this department. Apply at the
editorial room.-New York Weekly.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

"Rest and change are good for
people, said the wife a. she rose
In the night to rifle husbands
pockets, "pvebad a rest an now
Think I'll have a change"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Behind Time.

Nervous Passenger-Is the block sys'
terl in use ON this roadg
Train Boy-Guesso. 1 just heard the
engineer say that the feller that's work
in us through today is a blockhead-
Good News.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

A bow legged man was stand
ing before the stove warming HIM
self. A small boy watched him
intently for a while and tLen he
broke out:
"Say, mister, yOu'le standing
too near the fire, | guess; you're
awarding.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
A Reason Somewhere.

Lord Noodle-Aw-American girls
must be different from English girls if
they ara Permitted 10 &c about without
chape10ls. don't I voc know.
Ameriean. Girl-Perhaps American
men are different from Englishmen.--
New York Weekly ..-
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

Uncle George-"l trust, Henry
TINT you are out of debt" HenIy
-"No, ! haven't got quite so far
as that; bnt | am out of every.
thing else.n
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

"Ssy, mamma, why is it papa
always speaks OF money as 'cold
cashYr II guess because it gives
him Q chill to part wlthlt."
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Please Her.

Shoemaker-Well, don'r any OF
these shoes suit you, miss!
Miss Flippery-Oh, yes, indeed,
but you have such II delightinl
way of lacing them up, | thought
1 would try on several pairs more.
Harvard Lampoon. '. ....
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
Done TO Death.

Amateur Piano Player-What is your
opinion of that piece just executed
Musical Critic-I think it was exc.
ted,-New York Journal,
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

Mr.. lsaacs.-'I sells you dot
coat at great sacrifice"
Customer.--"But you say that
OF all your goods. How do you
make a living"
Mr.. Isaacs.-" Mein frient, l
makes a small profit OH de paper
and string.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

The death Of Jubal A. Early recalls
not very reyerent but nevertheless
laughable story Of him. When during
the war Early was in the Shenandoah
valley, he was one Sunday attending q
village church. Tho minister was in
clined to make the occasion patriotic il
not heroic. Before him were uniforms
that told Of fidelity to the secession cause
and inspired large hopes Of its triumph
so the preacher raised the dead, and with
animation went over the doings Of Wash
ington, Sumter, Marion, Jackson. Then
since he must halt somewhere, when he
thought he had stirred his hearers to q
high pitch Of admiration he said, Now
if we had all these honored men among
us today, what would you do:' JubaI
piped ont with his high pitched voice
I'D conscrIpt every - one Of en-
The rest Of the service was not described
in the tale.-Springfeld Republican.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

W.-HoW do you t''ll the age Of
a hen 7 T.-By the teeth. W.
A hen hash's any tee tb. V.-EO,
but have.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

ing for the Western express Ia
pass"
As if there is not q especial
Providence" 10 everything that
happens In this world OF ours!
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20
SHENANDOAH HERALD
Advertising Rates.

Advertisements will be inserted at one
dollar per square of ten lines OF less, for
ihe first insertion, and 30 cents for each
subsequent insertion.
l3@Quarterly or yearly adyertsem, nts
by contract.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1894-04-20

tT"Unless the number or insertions be
marked upon the manuscript advertise
ments will be published until forbidden,
and charged accordingly.