The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1894-02-11
JUST IN TIME.
If 1t Hadn't Rcru For the Doctors, lie
Would Have Been ~ More


Would Have isccn ~ More.
'Johnny, is there Grape on the ,ioorp"
mo, pa"
NO hearSc waiting: ut the corncr?"
why, no indeed"
mo horal oiicTiis;>---gateS ajar or broken
| columns down Stuirs:"
"Of course not. pa.
NO undertaken s.;tins, out ON the front
steps with II quart jug of embalming fluid
under his ARM
why, certainly not. pa"
See il there amt Il couple OF tombstone
dealers standing. on the other side of the
street gazing upward ut the window"
Not one, pa
Then | must still be in the land of the
living, and ought 10 be thankful, but it's
been tough pull"
you've had it pretty tough, pa"
Had WHAT"
1.-The grip"
Grip. nothing. ! haven't had the grip.
These last four weeks | have spent in bed
have not been due to grip. 1t was mis-
placed confidence, my son, and this is how
It all happened: You probably remember
had cold about month ago don't your"
YES, pa"
We'll, the fcnds incarnate who claim
TO he my friends did the rest First, l met
Smith. Hello, says he. you've got it,
Got what?' says l.
1.-The grip says he, and then he gave
me prescription 1t consisted of n pint of
black molasscs Il pint of Irish whisky, a
tcaspoonful of red pepper and II half ounce
of powdered quinine. Take that little dose
before retiring, and you'll feel like 2-vcnr-
old in the morning. he said, with flendish
grin.
And did you do it, pa?
YES, hut that was not all. On the next
corner met Brown.
We'll, l see you've got the grip, he
blurted out as he smiled Il frightf,l smile
'l've got the very stuff to knock it out in
one night. What you want to do is to cat
half pound of loaf sugar soaked in coal
OIL wrap yourself up in IL wet sheet and 90
to bed, and tomorrow you'll be us lively as
IL game cock.
And did YOU do it, pa?
ALIAS. did.
but still came another Jones was his
name. | was almost home when met him.
"'Awfuliy sorry for you, old man. he
whined as he "raspcd my hand. You have
bad case surely, but | have the champion
grip cure. on want to put mustard plaS-
tcrS under your armpits, battle your head
III salt water. take Il steam bath and four
doses OF horse powders which the label
said were Good for man or beast and he
thought might pull through
Il wrote all the different remedies down.
together with those which was advised to
use by Old Aunt Liza the cook, Your
mother, her mother and all the neghbors.
The order filed n sheet of foolscap paper
closely written and one consignment of
remedies on a dray. The stuff kept coming
all the evening, while lay on the lounge
expecting every moment to be ushcred up
to the golden gate and ordered to pick a
harp.
Il was first prize lunatic. 1t took your
mother two hours to get me ready for bed
| had dried mullen leaves on my feet salt
pork and flannel on my chest, mustard
plasters under my armpits hot water
| bag on my head, II wet sheet around nv
chest and four blankets on top of that.
| On the inside of me-O Lord! | shudder
| at the thOught-there were rum and molas-
SEES, whisky and honey, coal oil and sugar,
| quinine and hot milk, lemon Juice and asa
fetida limewater and spinach leaves, vim
egar and sulphur Dover's powders, and |
guess I'd have swallowed blasting powder
If any one had suggested it,
| but Pm alive yet. The doctors pumped
it all out of me after two hours hard work
They told me if they hadn't arrived when
they did ! would have been wearing a
| wooden ulster now.
| You see the fearful consequences of mis-
| placed confidence"
Yes, pa" and the patient heaved sigh.
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