Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-02-24

OF how the vote is going might be used TO
Illustrate schemes"
What a farce this business is" suddenly
observed Miss Dare, as she laid down ner
lorSnette. I've had enough haIos knocked
OIL since We been in this gallery to furnish
rays Tor all the saints in the calendar. why,
those men act like a lot OF school boys and
some OF them like uncultured Doors. Not
haII dozen of them are paying any atten-
tlon 10 the speaker,~thougn they can hardly
De blamed for it. There are three men
Chipping from newspapers. suppose they
are personals or complimentary notices.
tiNe are Uu-led IN ne" sp4pers, with lneIr
feet on their desks. Three are back on the
couches sound asleep. 1 can hear one OF
them snore. There must be twenty or them
writing letters. When the Speaker appeal
ed TO the gentlemen on the right OF the
chalr to observe order just now, that man
with the White chin whiskers snOrted like
pig and then talked louder than ever IL
the voters who Seld them here only knew
how they deteriorate-Ch, girls, look quick.
See that old fellow carefully smoothing the
bair up over the bald spot on MS mead
Now, II a woman was running TINS eStaO-
lishment she would hang portieres before
! those doors so that the secrets OF a Ddfper
shop toilet could not be seen by everybody
il, the galleries. if she had to despoil every
committee room of its lace curtains to do
it,
How noisy it is today" said Louise fret
fully. II really would like to hear what
that member is saying, but can't. L wish
I'd brought a book, as Dorothy and Elaine
doesn't preserve order? 1t must be dread
fully discouraging TO a man who is speak
ing to have men clapping their hands all
the time for pages, showing that they are
not listening Bit
Talk for I1ome Consumption.
That's one of the shrieking shams of a
Congressman's record" put in Dorothy,
catching Louise's last sentence just as she
was turning a page in her book. They
stand up here and humble over written
| speech that can't be heard ten feet away,
and wouldn't be listened to if it was; and
then ii is printed in the Congressional Rec
ord to go home to the mans constituents.
The press tells of Congressman Blanks
solid speech and the local papers of the
Congressman's district print the speech in
sections and head it with big black letters,
and in his little world he is heralded al a
+ bigger man than the President, because
/ the President has no right to the floor OF
the House. Yet their little man held its
undivided attention for a whole hour Now,
If was managing the financial end of this
Congress I'd ask unanimous consent that
all the stupid speeches be printed at once.
and rot take up valuable time that should
be devoted 10 something else. Instead of
reforming the tariff I'd reform the talk, and
the tariff would reform itself soon as the
men who are anxious to make records were
shut up"
BY the time Dorothy had delivered her
homily Louise had found a new subject for
comment. Il wish Mr.. Reed would wear
long-tailed coat all the time; it's much more
becoming to his style of figure. My, wouldn't
he look funny in Washington's knee breech-
es and lace rufiies? Imagine him and Mr..
Cochran going round arm in arm in that
/ rigr' And of course the girls all giggled
and got a frown from the Speaker. Just
then the member who was speaking sat
down,and the scattered applause was damn
Ing him with faint praise when Miss Dare
asked wildly who had said anything funny.
BobbIe naively informed her that they were
just expressing pleasure that the member
was done speaking his piece. While the
girls were chattering among themselves,
most of the members who were on the floor
left for the cloak rooms. Miss Dare OBJ
served this with manifest displeasure. IF
the next speaker is to be any Stupider lets
leave" she suggested. But Bobbie demur-
red much TO my sorrow. I'VE haven't had
a bit of fun yet There is just going to be
a roll CALL
| why don't they stay and answer to their
rames, them" asked Miss Dare, as the he
gira left just twenty members on the floor.
Very Slow in Voting.
"Oh, my, that wouldn't be congressional
| etiqCstte. You sec the rules demand two
/ roll calls-the second one for absentees. 1t
/ is only the very old-fasnioned, punctiious
sort of members who answer the first roll
/ call. When the clerk calls the roll a second
| time the gentlemen saunter in, and, with
cigars in their mouths, answer to their
!
| their indifference. The ultra fashionable
| don't answer then, but wait until the
! Speaker is ready to announce the vote
/ Then they come down in front and say
| Mr.. Speaker! just as loud. Then the
| Speaker looks over the top of his glasses
\ and says. For what purpose does the gen
! tleman rise?' And the gentleman says: L
would Ike to be recorded Then the
| Speaker says: Was the gentleman in the
| hall of the House when his name was
! called, and failed to hear it,? Ard the gem
| tleman swells up and says: I was or
| sometimes he says: L think / was and
| some other gentleman pops up and assures
| him that he was. Then the Speaker says
to the clerk: Call the gentleman's name
| Theh the clerk calls it, and the gentleman
votes. 1t takes up an awful lot of time
/ They could get through with roll call in
| twenty minutes if they sat still and an
| swered promptly. But think it must add
a great deal TO a mans Importance to de-
/ lay the business of the nation that way, or
| they wouldn't do it, The second roll call
| takes up much time as the first you
/ know. / tell you this voting in Congress is
mighty solemn business and you would
| have thought from the tone of Boobies
voice that she had been voting in Congress
for fifty years.
That's what papa says. too" remarked
| Jennie, knowingly. HE thinks that a man
owes it to himself to get out of putting
; himself on record If possible. Then he has
| nothing to explain when he gets back
| among his constituents. If any of them are
A
questions he takes each one of them off
| privately and talks to him real nice and
! Their there is never any fuss. But papa
/ never has trouble like some men do He
| keeps paired all the time. He says that is
| the only really safe way"
What is pairing?" queried Louise 81
| heard those two members who board where
We do talking about that this morning,
| The dark one. who simply cannot pro-
/ nOunce r, said to the other that he was
| nightly afraid he would be forced to break
| his pair and go on record on the Hawaiian
| question, and he seemed awfully worried
| 'Oh. l know all about pairs" RESPONDED
/ Jennie glIbly. when a republican wants
/ to go off and make a campaign speech or to
/ a big dinner in New York, he asks some
democrat to not vote while he is gone and
! they call that pair The republican vote
and the democratic vote offset each other
I you see. The clerk always reads the pairs
7 with a great deal of verve Just before the
( vote is announced. and sometimes a mem
Der gets right up in his place and saws lust
I as loud: Mr.. Speaker, l regret to say that
| am paired with the gentleman from so
/ and 50, and therefore cannot vote upon
this question; but l will vote to make n
quorum. 1t is very brave of them to come
I right out that way; but of course it is not
etiquette for them to say how they would
/ vote if they only had the chance. That
would spoil the effect of the pair, you see
'Twould BE Too Bad.
Now. papa is paired, but he thinks they
are going to try to force him to vote on the
Hawaiian Cuestion and he SavS he noe;