Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-03-16
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

n DHchsllueE-I l. lie GRAD. HALO.
A spark ofgenius Wlnningan heir
ess.-Truth.
The man who agrees with us doesn't
come around near often enough. -
Rams Horn.
The stock exchange is where hope is
exchanged for experience. Florida
Times Union
man with an elastic Imagination
is too liable to use it for a conscience.
Rochester Democrat.
This is world of compensations-
men who lack long heads generally
have long faces. Truth.
The worst of the rosy colors in
which some things are painted is that
they are not fast.-Puck.
"How much is this dress worth?'
81 really don't know what it's worth
the price is 50. "-Hallo.
The pen may be mightier than the
sword, but it's the uniform that takes
young women's yes.-Judge.
"Johnny, add seven apples to two
apples, and what will you have?"
"Colic, sir. Harper's Bazaar
A dogs tail is not necessarily has
been" because it always points to the
past. Bimghamton Republican.
One reason why some men are so
lean is because they have thrown all
their fat into the fire. Dallas News.
Tommy with pride)-'My pas
ceiver for his bank. Chicago Rec
ord.
''The foreign husbands the absorb
ing idea y said the American million
aire as he wrote the wedding check
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-''Do you believe in such
thing as love Mt first sight?" She
Certainly. A hasty glance does
not discover imperfections Boston
Transcript.
Hungry Higgins = "Wot's right
nowadays tank you, or tanks"
Weary Watkins - Il guess tanks
would hit us about right. "--Indianap-
oils Journal.
The man who is always careful to
keep out of debt is seldom SO well
supplied with the modern convent
ences of life us his less considerate
fellow. Puck.
He-''What would You do if | were
to kiss you?" She-''Are you very
curious to know" He" Very !"
She --"Well, You might try and see =
Boston Traveller.
at makes no difference to me. said
the old theologian, whether i came
from tadpole or II monkey. How t.
get out of the scrape is what bothe-
me. Newport News
70 In the cannibal islands Mother
"What is the matter with you, my
SOM Have YOU eaten anything that
disagreed with you?" Son--"fhat is
why | ate him. Boston Transcript,
Tommy II guess he must he the
best dentist in town Papa -"Didn't
he hurt you?' Tommy --"No; ! Just
went up 10 tho door and my tooth
stopped hurting. "--Chieago Inter
Ocean.
did you get anything from .that
man you Just applied To- for helpt'
"Only good advice" "What advice
did he give you - ~ said wa cold
aud he told me 60 60 10 blazes, '--
New York Press.
The scarcity of food ia Bage has
compelled the heseigcd troops % a.
sort to eanines iishod up IA various
styles There Is "a havoc among the
dogs oi war "a that locality. Phih-
dclphia Ledg,r.
First Bell, "rheu both HERR
Schulze aud Herr Lehmann had maie
her an offer ut marase, which Nss
tho lucky man secoud pitto "iierr
schuile, Here t.ehmauu mar.ed har
nheriandur hats
'dase yDu hat tunr u,a hHuse 10.
sHrel Ma Dwight 'tss. luuf
husband r aal ul tHf tHuf
MsfeY, Fu hs a'l leaN fh. hNufe
any time ba'ur ha $500 HaAe pnr
thietgo mt,r-tle#sH.
"dus lo Y.4 buas tAat ntNrre 3
uai Is lat ata Nah.i saeaibr'ar
"ieeaaae htafl h'W teil htf ihe
plhfF evening #HeH ihNF esma lrHm
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huef ltinai tlt rre
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