The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-04-22

with all its machinery, became an
anachronism. -
Il think" said Mr.. Punch. presently,
81 should like to take a stroll in Hyde
park"
That" said his guide. "has not been
possible for at least fifty years. All the
parks are now cut up into three-acre
allotments, where every able-bodied
citizen does an hours compulsory spade
work once a fortnight. a most admira-
bic reform, as you will agree!"
'Capital!n gasped Mr.. Punch, with an
| anticipatory pain in his back. Then I
am curious to see what strides have been
made by your modern painters. Could you
take me to picture gallery"
''There are no modern painters. 1t is
| perhaps a pity-but quite unavoidable.
1t was an obvious injustice that, when all
citizens had to perform their share of
more or less distasteful manual labor,
| there should be any one class that earned
a living by work in which they took a
positive pleasure. So that every artist
had to do his six hours stone-breaking or
bflck-maklng, or what not, as an autece-
dent condition of being permitted to paint
at all, and naturally the state declined
to provide him with paints and brushes
at the expense of the community. A few
artists persisted for q while, from sheer
love of the thing; but as no picture
fetched more than a pound of sausageS,
and the average price was bowl of por-
ridge, sthey found it expedient to turn to
some more useful occupation. And it is
undeniable that they contribute more to
the resources of the commonwealth by
welding a trowel or broom than by
messing about with the brushes and
paint. AS concession to hereditary in,
stinct, however, their descendants are
still set apart as state whitewashers.
"And the drama?" Mr.. Punch inquired
next, How is that getting on? Has the
new dramatist made his appearance at
lasti"
ION the contrary, 1 am glad to say he
} has disappeared-le us hope forever.
I For the essence of drama, as / under
stand, was emotion-passion jealousy,
| marital and parental relations, and so on.
| Now that marriages are the subject of
! state regulations, and extend only for a
| limited period, passion, of course, Is OBJ
| solete; jealousy, too, is recognized as
merely selfshness in disguise, and we
have grown too altruistic TO desire the
| exclusive possession of anything. While,
| as the offspring of every union are re-
moved at birth to a communal creche, and
| brought up and educated by the state,
! there are no longer any opportunities for
| tilial or parental affection"
Then | presume fiction is equal"-
| Just so. Fiction depended on con-
trast. When everybody is on precisely
the same level, the novelist is happily,
unnecessary. What are you looking for
now?"
II was wondering if I could buy an
evening paper anywhere" said MIR.
! Punch, wistfully. but perhaps journal
| ism is Also"
"Of course. Every one is so content
eddy and peacefully absorbed in contribu-
| ting his share of work to the state that he
| has no desire to read about the doings of
other persons, even if there was anything
of interest to be told, which there isn't.
We produce Just sufficient for our own
wants, so there is no commerce. we have
no army or navy, since we don't desire to
conquer, and are not worth conQuering.
No politics, because we govern ourselves
by our own consent and cooperation; no
science, as inventors only benefited capt.
tai at the expense of labor; and, this
being so, what is there to put into news
paper, if we had one2"
Haven't you even "a humorous
paperf' said Mr.. Punch. Il used to do a
little in that way once"
"You had better not do it here. Humor,
l believe, consisted in representing hui
| mainly under ridiculous aspects. We're
humanity, and we don't see any fun in
being laughed at. None of your humor
| here, mind"
but the citizens have a certain amount
of leisure, l suppose" said Mr.. Punch.
"How do they amuse themselves2 For l
can discover no libraries, no circuses, nor
concert-rooms, nor anythiug"
ut was seen to be invidious to furnish
any entertainment at the public expense
which did not give equal amusement to
all, and so the idea was gradually
dropped. When our citizens have finished
| their daily task, they find their relaxation
in the intervals of eating and sleeping, in
the harmless and Soothing practice of
chewing gum. They can all do that, and
the state provides each with aweekly sup
ply for the purpose. Now tell me-is there
anything more l can do for you2"
Eyes, murmured Mr.. Punch; eff YOU
would be so very kind as to freeze me
again for 800 Years or so, l should be ex-
ceedingly obliged. / don't feel quite at
home in this centuryp