Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1894-04-12
SAGE LEEVS.

Eddytd by J. BILLINGS SAGE, suksesser tew
Josh Billings, deseest.
Leevs from mi diurry air kalled sage leevs
beckawB tina air good medysun fur the bleWS.
Sage OF Aberdeen Still at the Fair. He
and Jim See the Egyptian Mystery. Col.
BoOne's Lions, and the Ostrich Farm.
Jim's Ignorance OF Sunday School In
structiOn.
MIR EDDYTUR:-
l send yew this skech Nv moar da Is
wanderins hi the Point Lomy so as tew
gift it thru in time, es I Sc Nv mi letturs
gott left wen the HERULD went tew pres.
l wood send it by the Saler Boy er the
Amerykuu Curl, butt boys and gurls air
apt tew git tew phunny wen tina air ava
frum hum, and don't dew errunds rite.
Wei, ez l wuz jest goin tew ga, me and
Jim (Jim's the niger yew kRo hoo l pikt
up fer gide), me and Jim went intew
the phair yesturda and seen the gratest
lott Nv kureosities yew evur heerd tel on.
Fust we went tew sc the Ejlpshun mis-
furry. Misturry means hash in Abbur-
deem, but down heer lit meens womun
hoo kan be ded or alive jest as she pleez-
IL. She lookt ez natral ez liphe wen we
fust gaizd at her, butt vile We lookt and
lookt she gradooally turnd intew stun
womun, err statyute, don't kno wich.
Jim sed he hurd about jest sech thing
da att Sunda skool. He sed the teechur
told him that hur naim wuz SODIUM, and
she and hur husband livd out in the lot.
l sed Jim, yure eddykashun hez ben sadly
neglektid, but bee4 1 kud ga moar the
stun statyute turnd bak intew reel live
womun agin. Then l moralized in this
wa: SEE l tew Sage, that's miselph, l
kin rekkolekt CURL that turnd tew stun
wen akst hur kweschun that evury
yung phello wants tew ak att leest wunce
in hiz liphe tew sum buteephul CURL. Yes,
she turnd tew kold, stun, statyute, ez it
ware; and lit maid me littul six Nv the
phemale perswashun, and yet, git along
kwite we'll with sum Nv EN-.
Nexst we went few Sc Col. Boone g
lions. l koodn't git Jim neerer than
about 20 foot frum the kage, but he sed
hee didn't want tew hev hiz he'd bit oph,
and hiz boldly eat up like Danill did in
the bibul. lookt him squair in the
Ease and SEE l, ware did yew heer that
Jim? He sed tew Sunda skool. groned
alowd and sed, ooh Jim, yure dazee. T"
He sed tew NEE, colo missus yewst tew
kali NEE blak rag-a-mufin, but l like
dazee bettur." l told him he ort tew
keap the run Nv the story bettur, er hiz
Sunda skool lurnin wood ne vur dew him
mulch good.
The lions purformd. lit wuz kureos-
ty tew Sc EN- mind the wurd NV the keep
ur, jest ez ii tina ware kittuns. But sed
tew Jim aphturwurds, l1ruther bee a
mild ava if Nv them lions shud git out,
er wag hiz tale. Sum men put Mair heds
intew lions mouth, and sum thaw out
dinumite on the stove, and sum tikkul
the hind pheet Nv mule, butt ez fur me,
civ NEE libburty er gimme dsth. Jest
then NV the lions waggd hiz tale tew
brush oph fiji, and Jim hollerd "golly,
he's kummin out" and tux tew hiz heals
tew wunst. didn't pheal emmy tew saif
miselph, SO follerd on. and wen kawt
up tsw Jim we went over tew wair tina
raze awstrichiz hi steem in big chist
that the man sed wuz imitatur. spoze
its bekaws it immetates the burds.
1t wuz kawshun tew Sc the awstrichiz.
Sum NV EN- wuz ait foot hi, and wade 300
pownds. If shud xix man he koodn't
tel it frum a mewl, cz tina air so powrfull
that tina kan xix man er hors tew deth
in minits. l thing I admire in aw-
strich. A mail awstrich sits ON the aigs
hat the time and helps tew dew the wurk.
He don't maik hiz wiphe wurk awl da
and set up awl mite tew talk kare NV the
Children. He alwais silks tew wiphe
ez long ez tina both liv, and that's moar'n
sum luther tew-leggid annlmuls dew that
I kno Nv. The yung awstrich eats Crawl
stuns and skrap tin and it maiks him tuff
ez Roman soldier. Awstrichiz air
mainly yewsfull fur THAR tale phethurs
witch air sold tew maik trimmins fur
wimmin's hats, ct settsry. Jim sed lee
wuz goin tcw hev l Nv the phethurs tew
karry hum tew ole missus, so hee kim
over the phence and gott holt NV good
long l, but the old burd wunk biz lipht i,
TUX Jim in hiz bill and liphtid him ovur
the gait, ware he dropt i'm phlat on hiz
bak. The wa that littul niger gott ava
frum that place wood maik Presbytee-
run deekun laf. Mi mummy il awl GAVIN,
look fur me hum with the nekst Amerry.
kun Curl.