Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1894-02-22
GETTING 1T ON.
Story of "a Married Man and Mustard
Plaster,

He came home with pain in his back
He was suffering terribly. Pains were
racking his spinal column of nature far
more severe than had ever been suffered by
mortal man before. He admitted it him.
self
make me mustard plaster Mary, and
make it good and strong" he walled as he
threw himself upon the sofa.
In a few minutes the patient little wife
came in with plaster about the size of an
ordinary sheepskin saddle-good and thick
too. He took it into his sleeping room and
said he'd put it on himself.
'Why, dear, you can't put it on your back
yourself. Let me fl it for you" And she
started to follow him in.
Never you mind, now. I'll attend to
this" he growled. You go on with your
work and see to it that l am not bothered.
This pain9is killing me by inches" And he
shut the door.
Well, he undressed, picked up the plaster
from the dresser and tried to get it on-and
there was a circus that came near to equal
ing ''the greatest show on earth" lie tried
to reach back with his hand and lay it on
his back, but only succeeded in getting it
on his side, while a pint or of the mus
tard trickled onto the floor and down into
his clothes. 1t didn't feel good, and he got
other hand, but got the same result. Then
he pinned it on the wall and tried to back
up against it and ran three pins into his
hide. Asa last resort, he spread the plaster
on the floor and then lay down and tried to
press it on, but miscalculated the distance
and got his head into it. AS he raised up,
with his hair looking like % glue pot, he on
the whole greatly resembled Zulu dressed
for ball.
His talk" during the performance had
been getting more and more emphatic, and
Mt last brought his wife in. She prevailed
upon him to allow her to arrange the plas-
ter and after wiping him off she was told
to not take it off his back, no matter how
much he howled with the burning, for he
was determined that he would kill that
pain. She promised, and by his instruc-
tions locked the door upon him. He was
alone with the plaster.
For q half hour she heard nothing except
ing the rattling of the bed springs as he
tossed about. Then she heard him walking
the floor; then mutterings and grumblings,
with an occasional stamp on the floor; then
short and decisive yelp. She smiled. II
guess that will help him if he leaves it on.
I'll let it stay as he wanted me to, so he
won't be granting around with his back for
week | had one experience like that with
him"-a prolonged howl interrupted her,
and she heard the crash of falling china.
MARY, unlock that door and come in here
and take this lava bed off of me. Pm no
hog. l know when I've got enough" She
was just going over to a neighbours to get a
little coffee for supper and thought she'd
wait till she got back.
AS she stepped into the house 10 minutes
later blows of heavy boots were threaten
| ing to break in the door, while howls and
screeches and roars came from within that
room. open that door, or I'll break it in
and turn in the fire alarm" he yelled
This outrage means Il divorce, and you
might as we'll make up your mind to it.
There was a final struggle, a ripping and
tearing, and as she got the door open she
saw that she was too late. Sticking up
against the mirror was dark and soggy
mass, while her lord was doing his best to
back down into the washbowl. OF course
it was upset, and the flood of water added
to the ruin. He put on his clothes, and as
he stamped out of the house stopped to hiss
between his teeth, You'll pay dearly for
this, madam; mark my words" and he
was gone
That night he came in about 8 o'clock
with his arms filled with fruit and confcc-
lions. That plaster stopped the pain,
dear" was all he SAID. indianapolis Senti.
mel