St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-03-19
SPRING NOTIONS.

perpendicular, ana splash! she became
temporary fixture in the old time mud
| puddle. How unnatural that corner
would look without that familiar puddle.
Judging from the peaceful expression
Oh her classic Western features before
ner descent to the puddle, l think this
was the first cloud that had married her
happiness. After longer period of
married bliss. she will lind that being
| nearly drowned in a little puddle is
celestial 10y compared to other more
frequent occurrences. Wait until she
forgets to sew his buttons on! Several
bystanders haStened to offer their SYM
| pathy, but the little bride only glared at
them and disappeared into cab as
rapidly as possible. Somehow people
who land liz the middle of il mud puddle
never seem grateful for sympathy Of
| fered them.
There should be very strict law pro-
hlDltlng the Use OF umbrellas by luna
ties and people who seem to consider
them simply as weapons to be used
against unsuspecting citizens. People
should study up umbrella etiquette more
thoroughly before they venture out into
the street. which on rainy day repre-
SCENTS the very jaws of death and disaS-
ter. The last week with it's damp spells
mas oeen very trying to nervous people
who are not policy holders in an acct
dent association. Without an occa-
slonai dry day to give us breathing
spell, fear the spring weather and its
dangerous Accompaniment would un-
seat our reason. After wrecking three
| umbrellas, gave up carrying them.
The wear on the umbrellas. as we'll as
the wear and tear on my temper, was
| quite too expensive. The first one l
turned into an incurable invalid by
pumping into AN idiot who was not
looking out for trouble ahead. In
| Qulsitive persons might inquire why |
was not looking where I was going;"
| Just let them brave rain storm with
dress under an ulster to be held up,
shopping bag, pocketbook and roll
of music to be looked after. The next
umbrella L had was chewed up by
| hungry mule who stood behind ME
while waited for street car. One OF
| those cars thai never come when it
rains. but which invariably roll by in
| an endless procession on bright DAYS
| when you have no use for them. The
third umbrella 1 battered to pieces
| against lamp post in my wild endeayor
| to escape three angry-looking umbrellas
| which were bearing down upon me
full tilt. Now | don a macintosh and
thick veil. then bravely and comfort
ably breast the storm. If l am very
| careful and wear a pair of strong glasses
L can generally wead my way for sew
| erai blocks without having my features
| get entirely out of repair from other
| peoples umbrellas
Last week was stroiiing down town,
quite comfortably wrapped up in my
| independence and rubber coat, when
| gentle little storm sprung up. The
umbrellas also sprung up until the
street looked like a tOadstool settlement,
and the dampness soon made the owners
look like the green-Speckled frogs
which accompany each toadstooI in the
pictures. A fat woman, with her arms
full of parcels and an umbrella raised,
on high. was going down the street,
and fat woman, similarly laden, was
coming up the street. Sensible people
lodged from out their path, but, as
they bore down ON each other, a COLI
sion was imminent. They steered
| straight for each other, both entirely un-
| suspecting the fate which awaited them
Smash! bump! the umbrellas locked
horns like pair of angry William
| feminine bursts of eloQuence flew
around the bundles, and tor while the
whole street seemed full of wrathy fat
women and spilled parcels. People
shouldn't think they own the EARTH"
| politely Numbered one. "Murder!"
yelled the other one. 81 am killed aud
can't speak," When the time for
gathering up their property came the
| struggle began, and the one who
claimed she was killed violently de.
nounced the other for having designs
on her parcels. just then received a
| jab in the back from another umbrella
wielder, and was compelled to move on.
If could have remained longer at the
scene. might have gained considerable
fees as witness in suit for damages.
wish women would make up their
minds to either wear rubberS Or to wear
shoes thick enough 10 ignore mud and
dampness. They trip serenely along the
sidewalk until they reach crossing,
then invariably take to their heels. Can
you imagine anything more awkward
than a lot of women crossing street on
thoir hoalcS SwjnUipn moi
swaying their bodies to keep their bal
ance, until they look like frock of
crows; but l must acknowledge the
crows have the adyantage-of more
grace.
Women who are the proud possessors
of but one hat season should steer
quite clear of feathers. Ii there is
pathetic. woe.begone sight it is hat
decked with feathers that have met a
rain storm. Until those melancholy
skeletons of former glory cease to wave
on her headgear she will nave bedrag-
gled look that would do justice to a
plucked goose. No matter how COR
geous the resto her attire. that uncared-
for look will remain as long as the
feathers do.
The fashion of initiating the spring
flower by blooming out in new attire on
Easter morning is becoming quite OBJ
solete. We do not deem it necessary to
''wear something new to keep the
witches away" as our grandmothers
did. The days of broom sticks and
witches are left far behind us. l fear
the spring hat will not bring us much
relief from the winter horrors.
The unfeeling milliners display the
same colonial architecture in straw,
which we have endured all winter in
felt. These hats make the independent
maidens look bold and the timid ones
look scared.