The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-03-28
WHOLE NO. LIZ

thus slightly increased the elective
length of the cot.
"a little after > / rose again and Sc
cured fur rug 1t was tigers skin,
with the head OF the beast ON one corner
of it. There seemed to be some warmth
in that tiger 8 skin, for / secured little
sleep almost Immediately after spread
ing it over me. | had left the lamp
burning, for | thought it might warm
the room little. Well, sir, as l say, /
slept few minutes-just long enough
to dream that l was one of the early
Christian martyrs in the arena-and
then l awoke to find this tigers head,
with its cleaning, CLASSY eyes staring me
in the face. Say, what do you think |
did? Iyelled so loud that the conclusion
put the light out. My wife and her sister
thought there were burglars i'll the
house. What did they do about it? l
don t know, but my opinion is that they
crawled into pile of carpets and rugs
in the middle of their room and hid
there till morning
GAS for me, the shock of my fright
made me SILVER. And when | got over
being frightened couldn't stop shiver-
ing. How could be cold tn all those
things over me couldn understand,
but it was trne. / arose and secured the
stair carpet. 1t went up and down me
five times, | remember, but it didn't
raise my temperature one degree.
Then | made the important discov-
cry that it didn't make any difference
how much | had over me SO long as |
had only one layer OF canvas under nc
And the wind still whistled up through
the bare boards. / decided to put the
tiger skin over the cot and lie down
ON it, Then new inspiration came to
me. Why not go down and sleep in the
kitchen? Good ideal picked up the
cot, the pourehairs, the fur rug and the
stair carpet and started for the kitchen.
At the head of the back stairs stepped
on the fringe of one of the pourchairs
endeavored to step off it, but there
were five apertures in the fringe, and
each one of them had secured one of my
toes. Therefore 1 just calmly fell over
forward and slid down stairs, with the
cot as toboggan.
Il reached the kitchen in this easy
and unconventional manner and discov
cred almost Immediately that the fire
had gone out This is not what had
fallen down stairs for. The kitchen was
perhaps shade warmer than my room,
but it was cooling rapidly, and kitch-
en- in the morning with no fire in it is
the coolest room in the house, as every
married man knows.
There wasn't any fuel at hand, but
between you and Inc just had to have
some. There were two or three conven-
lent pieces of light woodwork which
belonged to my late landlord and not to
me. With these l kindled fire, and
then | broke up two OF cur kitchen
chairs and piled them in ii handy spot.
My cot | placed close by the stove, so
that could feed tho fire without get
ting out of bed. There / lay and kept
her a-going with selections from my
furniture, till by and by got really
warm and snug, and then | went to
sleep. The last things / remember put
ting in were the pourchalr poles.
"These brass balls are the orna,as-s..el
knobs from - S. Z ~ and 49,
@IHey WOulun DuTu, OF CUHfSts ftffu 4
didn't dare to put them in the stove for
fear my wife would find them and sus-
pect me. So / simply unscrewed them
as l lay there with tho intention of
throwing them away at my leisure.
There ought to be one more. -
Again he went through his pockets.
Pm afraid she's found it. II she
hasn't, / can make her believe that Wen
ner stole the poles and the kitchen chairs
and few other things which burned
that night. She'll believe anything of
him now. But, say, wasn't it all her
fault?''
l was forced to stifie my chivalrous
instincts and admit that it was.
"She sent the beds away, didn't she?
OF course, and all that happened was in
consequence of that one piece of blank
ETY. blank foolshness. Well, what do
you think? Have you followed my
story? Have You got an idea of how
much walking around did in my robe
der nooit, as the French say, on that
interesting occasion? 1t was enough to
kill man. But she says-stay! Are
you married mani"
I am.
Then maybe you II believe my story.
She says l got this cold playing bill
lizards -, Winter's MaOazine