The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-12-26
SHOWING UNCLE AROUND.
A Good Old Man, but Not Accustomed
to City Ways.
From the Chicago Herald.

From the Chicago Herald.
There are some old men living who have
not seen all the sights of the city. Now
and then one comes in who is a counter
part of Joshua Whitcom. Such a one was
here last week. He has lived nearly forty
years not far from a Wisconsin town
which is within two hours ride of Chi
cago. He has a nephew here who took
him around for two days, and the nephew
is enjoying himself relating some Of the
antics of his Badger uncle.
1--WE took an elevator" said the nephew
'in one of the retail dry goods houses
and while the man in charge was wait
ing for others to get in my uncle said to
him: Hurry up, now; if you're going to
wait for load, Wen get out and walk.
Just as the car started he said to the
man: Don't let go the rope. l reckon
could jump out and beat it down. but I'd
like to enjoy the full ride if it's the same
to you' We reached the third floor and
the man called out: Third hoor-ladies
cOrsets, underwear, silk skirts, hosiery
and patterns Stop err called my I'M
Gle. and turning to me he said Come on,
jim; this is where 1 want to land and as
we were leaving the car he said to the man
in charge: Jest hold your horses here a
few minutes till we come back. Now, don't
run away, cause I want to go down to
the roof when 1 get on dSdlls
1--WE were soon in the midst of the young
saleswomen of the department. My I'M
Gle. after looking around for a moment, re-
marked in a perfectly honest way: I
guess you are all orphans or widows,
maybe, seeing that you are all dressed in
black. 1 guess the concern here is pretty
good to you to give you jobs. Pm aw-
full sorry for the lot of you, and you ever
get away Sundays and come out to --,
r,fr. nd q a the ia
and give you the best we got. My ole
woman would be glad to have you.
jim. here, is my nephew; lives here in
Chicago; reckon you all know Jim; hey,
Jim?'
THE situation was embarrassing, and
pulled him away. The young women
were blushing and laughing. As we passed
out he saw one of these ugly Chinese gods
in the tea department. Before l could
stop my uncle he had hit the idol in the
face with his SLOUGH hat, kicked at it,
and then said TO me, Say, Jim, If your
Aunt Betsy had that out to the farm she'd
use it for a bee gum. i wonder what
they'll let it go for? l tugged at his ell
how until got him away. We were then
in sight of a descending elevator. He
broke from my clutch and made dash
for the car, he called back to me, Come
on. jim, I'll hold her till you get aboard
and when I reached the car he had hold
like a wise on the cable. while the con-
ductor was crowded back in the corner.
Keep back, or I'll brain you,' my uncle
was saying to the conductor, know
what l am doing. Say Jim, grab the rope
a minute till l spit on my hands, and
then I'll run 'er to the cellar
by the time he released the rope had
him in the corner, where L held him until
and while I enjoyed his antics Twas
we reached the first floor ! got him out
Of the car and finally got him to his train,
and while 1 enjoyed his antics. l
tickIed when l knew he was going,
for I didn't know, while he was here,
what minute he would break away and
cause me trouble. He is one of the best
old men that ever lived, but liable to go
off haIf-cocked at anything that is novel"