davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
WHOLE NO. 1175.

afford to run a few chances and
spend some little money on each
man. So, at any rate, thought the
city agent of a New York Company,
whose method was to call upon the
wealthy men of The Street when,
after the agent had stated his busi-
ness, the following colloquy would
ensue:
MY dear sir, I really haven't
tt me to discuss insurance to-day.
My time is too valuable"
How much is your time worth
per hourp"
The man would state anywh ere
from ten to one hundred dollars,
according to his wealth.
"Well, then," the agent would
remark, I'll take ten minutes"
and would thereupon pay over the
exact amount at which the owner
valued his time.
This used to create such an i'm
preston on the "busy" man that it
was plain sailing for the agent, the
customer moreover feeling so small
over receiving the money that he
usually took policy whether he
wanted it or not. While some may
doubt the efficacy of this plan, it
succeeded nine times out of ten.
Another method is for the agent
to enter the Office of banker as a
prospective customer having mil
lions back of him, or to call upon a
lawyer with mythical case involv-
ing large sums, and after short
talk, make an appointment for a
few weeks hence. The broker, law
yer, or whatever else he may be, is
delighted at catching such big
fish, and is in a receptive humor
when an insurance agent calls the
next day with a letter of introduc-
tion from the alleged millionaire
who "wonld consider it such favor
if Mr.. B. would help my young
friend by insuring, ETC."
The result is that the victim is
insured, and the two sharpers divide
the commission, congratulating
themselves on their brains. In fact,
as one of the gentry puts it, the
Golden Rule of insurance is "Do
Others or they will do you"
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Prisoner-"Yes, your worship, l
committed the theft with which I
am charged entirely through the
instigation of my medical advis er."
Magistrate-"You mean to say
that in carrying out an experiment
in hypnotism he suggested the
crime to youp"
Prisoner-"I don't know about
that, but one thing is certain, he
told me to take something before
going to bed. Elk.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
Tricks of Insurance.

The ways and means of insurance
agents for securing customers are
many and varied. The modus op-
erandi seems to be to get the Wis
tim interested, and then lombard
him with argument, eloquence and
statistics; and it is in the first that
real genius of the business comes in.
A merchant was writing at his
desk the other day when two of the
craft entered. Being well dressed
and prosperous looking, he rose to
receive them and inquired their
business.
II want" said one, ito introduce
to you my friend, Mr.. Jones, who
is well known gentleman living
here, aud special agent for the
Bluster Life Insurance Co."
~ am pleased to meet Mr.. Jones" /"
returned the merchant, "but | real
ly don't know that I'm acquainted
with you"
Indeed" said the first. Jones,
old man introduce me-"
Jones did, and the merchant, see
ing the trick, burst into hearty
guffaw' and was soon insured by
the two friends, who, If they had
entered IN the ordinary style, and
stated their business, would proba-
bly, been shown the door.
Since the commission that an
agent gets from large policy Of
ten runs into the thousands, he can
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
The Omen And What Followed,

"Tell me there's nothing in
signs!' said uncle Allen Sparks,
looking meditatively into the fire,
II remember young friend Of
nine named Smudgins who once
laughed at the idea that anything
disastrous was going to happen to
him merely because he had seen the
new moon over his left shoulder"
"Well, did anything calamitous
happen to him inquired one of the
group.
"Yes," replied uncle Allen with
a sigh. HE went that same even
ing and proposed to the present
Mrs. Smudgins, and she accepted
him."
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
Jas. Boss
Filled
Watch Cases

are all gold as far as you can see. They look
like solid cases, wear like solid cases, and
are solid cases for all practical purposes-yet
only cost about half as much as an out
and-out solid gold case. Warranted to
wear for 20 years; many in constant use
for thirty years. Better than ever since they
are now fitted, at no extra cost. with the great
bow (ringl which cannot be pulled or fwiItsd
off the case--the
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
For Over Fifty Years

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been
used for over fifty years by millions Of
mothers for their children while teething,
with perfect success. 1t soothes the child,
softens the gums. allays all pain, cures
wind collie, aud is the best remedy for
Diarrhoea. 1t will relieve the poor little
sufferer Immediately. Sold by Druggists
in every part Of the world. Twenty-Five
cents O bottle. Be sure and ask for Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup" and take no
other kind. 1887
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

That people suffering from Piles
endure them for years or submit to
gerous, painful, cruel and expcns
surgical operations, whea all the tia.
there is a painless, certain, lasting c";'
which gives instant relief and costs but
trife 1t is called the Pyramid Pile CT
and can be found at all drug stores. /.
druggist will get it for you if you /,
him
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
Consoled the Wrong Man.

occupied the second seat with a
horseshoe scarfpin and long mus
tache, which he chewed spitefully
as he looked over a veterinary sur
geon's bill and frowned. Just
ahead of him a good old Presbyter-
ian preacher sat with a mourning
man who had just buried his wife.
And, as the B. & o. S. w. express
moved down its west-bound time
card, the minister spoke soothing
words of comfort to the bereaved
husband and sought to console him
in his grief by hopes of future life
and lessons to be learned by bitter
trials here below.
"She was a good woman-a very
good woman, Henry, but the Lord
has need of her, and we must bear
it bravely."
The husband choked, but said
nothing.
The minister arose, passed down
the car and took a cool drink of ice
water; then, with bended head and
heartful mind still deep in sympa-
thy, returned and sank into the
seat.
"There may be yet some now un-
known lesson in this loss," said he
softly to his companion, not staring
at him in his grief.
YES" was the reply, tinged with
ill-temper; 'I'll know dern sight
better than to hire such highway
man for doctor again"
Somewhat surprised, the minister
exclaimed, But then, my friend,
what is all that compared to her
worth to you?"
But you see l had her heavily
insured, and wasn't red cent in
the hole; but this chump flung the
stinger into my pocketbook for all
he's worth, because he knew l had
the stuff. And she amt been worth
so much to me after all-she's lost
me more than she was worth from
first to last. I'll never take up any
of her blood again-there's bad
streak of in it.
Shocked beyond expression at the
heartless words, but knowing that
deep grief often unseats reason, the
minister sought to sooth the unset
tied mind:
II never knew her family, but
she was good in her ways, and al
ways did her best"
"Oh, yes, she's good enough in
her line, but, confound her skin,
she never did do her level best.
Why, blame it, man, she'd lay
right down and give up when she
had everything her own way, hands
down By Joe, you ought to seen
her slap the mud in Nancy Ms face
at Sabina last fall!"
"What?" gasped the paralyzed
minister.
"Why, she knocked her eye out
in a jog trot till she reached the
finish, and let down there-give
up, dogone her! But I've entered
her on the kite track at Chillicothe
for the summer meet, and if she
don't pull down third money in the
four-year-old 2:25, I'll knock knot
hole in her neck with fork ham
dle!"
With an articulate gurgle of hor-
ror the minister turned and looked
at his companion.
He had dropped by mistake into
the seat with the Kentucky horse
man, who had just received the doc
tors bill for attendance upon his
trotting mare during a siege of
pneumonia. a.-Cincinnati CONNER
cial Gazette.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
A Surgical Operation.

For the cure of Piles is always painful,
often dangerous and useless, and invari-
ably expensive; on the other hand there is
a new, certain cure, perfectly painless,
and costs but trihe. 1t is the Pyramid
Pile Cure. 1t is more cert.iiu cure than
q surgical operation, without any of the
intense pain, expense and danger of an
operation. Any druggist will get it for
you.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
0. l. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent
Fox Block, Chisholm Street.
wii take charge Of estates for residents and non.
rssidsnts collect rents, pay taxes, piaes Insurance
obtain abstracts OF title. etc.
ONCE hours-10 to 12A. NJ, 4 6P.M.
Fox Block, Chisholm Street.
to deliver on Sunday, | vii COPY il

to deliver on Sunday, | vii copy it
and print it in Mondays paper.
Reverend De Goode-I cannot
allow my sermon to go out of my
hands. If you will come to church
on Sunday, you can hear it and take
notes.
Reporter with dignity)-I do
not work on Sundays, sir.-New
York Weekly.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Scientist-What do you suppose
is the cause of the cyclones and tor
nados being SO strong out here?
Citizen-Wal, stranger, | recken
it's because they take so much ey-
ercise.-Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
MONUMENTS & HEADSTONES
Cut Building Stone, Marble and Slate Mantels
and Crates.
Prices as low as any to be had In Michigan.
DRUBATE ORDER.
state Of Michigan. county Of Athena a.
Sold by j. T. Bostwick

state Of Michigan, county Of Alpena, 90
At session of the Probate Court for said coun-
ty held the Prob te Office in the city Of Alpena
on the twenty-ninth day of January, In the year
one thousand eight hundred and ninety -four.
Present, Hon. Geo. VI. Slusser, Judge of Probate.
In the matter Of the estate of Adam Ihrig
deceascd
Tn reading and fling the peti ion, duly verified, Of
Mrs Eva Elisabeth Hagen, sister of said deceased,
praving that administration OF said estate may be
grnnted ca herself OF some other suitable person,
and that such other and further order and proceed
ngs may be had IN the premises as may be required
In such case made and provided
Thereupon IL is ordered. that Monday, the 1sth
day OF February next at 10 o'clock in the forenoon,
be assigned for he hearing Of said petition, and
that the hersat-aw Of said deceased and all other
persons interested in said estate, nre required 10
appear at session Of said court, then 20 be holden
at the Probate Office, in the city Of Alpena, and
show cause, ~ any there be, why the prayer of
the petitioner should not be granted.
And 10 is further ordered, that said petitioner
give notice TO the persons interested in sad estate,
of the pendency OF said petition, and the hearing
thereof by causing copy OF this order to be pub
lished IN the Alpena Argus a newspaper printed
and circulated IN said county three l3) success. .
sive weeks previous 70 said day of hearing.
GEORGE NJ. SLUsSER,
"A true copyl Judge Of Probate.
1l7swl
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Uncle-l would like to accom-
modate you, Jack, but money is
tight and | hope you will take the
will for the deed. Nephew-Cer-
tainly. Have you signed it, sir?-
Judoa
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Al cannot understand why
you shed tears at the theatre last
night. 1t was one of the most
wretcbed performances | ever saw
B.-Yes, but | was fool enough tc
pay for my ticket.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"Ths Niagara Falls Route
Time Card in Effect.

Dailv. All other trains Daily except Sunday
Parior car on day trains and sleeping cars y"
fbe direct line to Niagara Falls, Buh"lo, Sew
york boston, Detroit, Toledo, Chicago, ana al
noints In the United states and Canada.
Through tickets 20 all points in the United states
and Canada.
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent.
o.w. RUaaLEs. O. p. & T. Agt.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

A girl may be almost pardoned
for throwing herself at man if he
is a good catch.-Albany Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

"They say Brown has taken the
lecture PLATFORM" shouldn't
wonder; take anything he can lay
hands on" Atlanta Constitution.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Adele-"Would you marry man
simply because he's rich?" Mabelle
NO, but | would try very hard
TO love him" Atlanta Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

When a good idea strikes musi-
clan it is only proper that he should
make a note of it.-Buffalo Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Dinks-Was Smiths purpose of
whipping the editor carried out?
Danks-No; but Smith was.-Buf-
falo Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

The girl who can skate has a
good time, but the girl who is learn
ing has her hand squeezed the tight
est-Atchison Globe.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Wife, wonder what became of
that angel cake | made Yesterday
Husband-"I-I gave it to poor
boy for a football. New York
Journal
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Benedict-Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case? Singleton-l'm afraid there
is." B.-That SO? Do you know
who it is? S.-Yes-her father
Boston Traveller.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Be careful of your language when
talking with the elevator boy; he
is apt to take you up very quickly.
Boston Bulletin.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

"And so your son has finished his
college coursep Did he graduate
with honors?" "Oh, yes; but he
tells me that some of the other fel-
lows carried them off. Rascally,
wasn't it?"-Boston Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Buffer-"There's one thing about
icy sidewalks" Biffer-"What?'
Buffer-"If we don't like them we
can sit down on them without much
trouble. Buffalo Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

He-"My love will have no end
ing, dear" She-"Now | say,
George; aren't you going to marry
me, after allw-Yonkers States
man.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Tutter-"ls Miss Nubbius IMP
Servant mo, sir. She's gone
walking with another young man. y
Tutter-"All right. Tell her | came
in a sleigh" New York Herald.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Teacher-"What is the feminine
of man, Thomas?' Thomas
Nv oman" Teacher-"And the
feminine of gentleman" Thomas
unhesitatingly) )--"D ude. Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

"Why, Sam, how do you expect
to get that mule along with spur
only on one side?"
"Well, boss, if | get dat side to
60, amt de udder one boun' to keep
up?"-Ex.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Reporter-If you will allow me
to have the sermon which you are
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Hello, Bill; how do you happen
to be here?"
Traded a return ticket to New
York for a farm"
"What are you doing now?"
waiting for some other Id
fool with q return ticket.-Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14
HUMOROUS.

To-day bought her a robe of fur,
And praising it now | hear her.
She was dear to me when | courted
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

But, by Jove, as wife, she's
dearer.-New York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Father Ito seven-year-old miss
beside him, cutting the whip sharp
ly through the air)-"See, Mary
how make the horse go taste,
without striking him at ALL"
Mary Tin an eager tone of happy
discovery )-"Papa, why don't you
spank US children that wayP"-Life
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Mrs. Brown (angerly)-Didn't !
caution you not to make noise
with that horrid tin whistle?
Little Johnny (quite crestfallen) }
Why, pa told me to.
Mrs. Brown-You naughty boy
You know very well he didn't.
Little Johnny (pertinaciously }
Oh, yes, he did, ma! asked him
to buy me bicycle, and he said |
should have to whistle for it.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

Michigan Central.
p. NJ.
t:M Bay City, leave, ~
q an NJ leaves Detroit. arrives, ~
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-02-14

eyet
AL
HUMOROUS.
To-day l bought her a robe of fur,
And praising it now | hear her.
She was dear to me when | courted
her,
But, by Jove, as wife, she's
dearer.-New York Press.
A girl may be almost pardoned
for throwing herself at man II ne
is good catch.-Albany Press,
When a good idea strikes musi-
clan it is only proper that he should
make a note of it.-Buffalo Courier.
Dinks-Was Smiths purpose of
whipping the editor carried out?
Danks-No; but Smith was.-Buf-
falo Courier.
Be careful of your language when
talking with the elevator boy; he
is apt to take you up very quickly.
Boston Bulletin.
The girl who can skate has a
good time, but the girl who is learn
ing has her hand squeezed the tight
est-Atchison Globe.
Adele-"Would you marry man
simply because he's rich?" Mabelle
NO, but | would try very hard
to love him" Atlanta Journal.
"They say Brown has taken the
lecture PLATFORM" shouldn't
wonder; take anything he can lay
hands on. n."--Atlanta Constitution.
He-"My love will have no end
ing, dear" She-"Now | say,
George; aren't you going to marry
| me, after allw-Yonkers States
man.
Wife, wonder what became OF
that angel cake | made yesterday"
Husband-"I-I gave it to poor
boy for a football. New York
Journal.
Buffer-"Theres one thing about
lev sidewalks" Biffer-"What?"
Buffer-"If we don't like them we
can sit down on them without much
trouble. buffalo Courier.
Tutter-"ls Miss Nubbius IMP
Servant Mo, sir. She's gone
walking with another young man"
Tutter-"All right. Tell her | came
in a sleigh" New York Herald.
Teacher-"What is the feminine
of man, Thomas?' Thomas
Woman" Teacher-"And the
feminine of gentleman?" Thomas
unhesitatingly) )--"D ude. Puck.
Benedict-Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case? Singleton-l'm afraid there
is" B.-That SO? Do you know
who it is? S.-Yes-her father
Boston Traveller.
"Why, Sam, how do you expect
to get that mule along with spur
only on one side?"
"Well, boss, if | get dat side to
90, amt de udder one boun' to keep
up?"-Ex.
|
| Uncle-I would like to accom-
modate you, Jack, but money is
tight and | hope you will take the
will for the deed. Nephew-Cer-
tainly. Have you signed it, sir?-
Judge.
Al cannot understand why
you shed tears at the theatre last
night. 1t was one of the most
wretcbed performances | ever saw"
B.-Yes, but was fool enough to
pay for my ticket.
Scientist-What do you suppose
is the cause of the cyclones and tor
nados being SO strong out here?
Citizen-Wal, stranger, recken
it's because they take so much ey-
rcise.-Puck.
"And so your son has finished his
college coursep Did he graduate
with honors?" "Oh, yes; but he
tells me that some of the other fel-
lows carried them off. Rascally,
wasn't it?"-Boston Transcript.
/
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1894-01-15
For sale by all Druggists.
RAILROAD TIME TABLE.
l. & G. n. RAILROAD.

l. & G. n. RAILROAD.
Leave for Austin and the North, 6.3O a. m
" SIS p. m.
Arrive from Austin and North. s.45 a. m,
" 1885 p. m.
Leave for Laredo and Mexico. $40 a. m.
Arrive from Laredo and Mexico, 730 p. m.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1894-01-15
Buv Real Estate

Now that the smoke OF battle has cleared
away the Christmas and New Year Holt
days have passed and the New Year has
opened up clear and bright with good
pros poets of a busy and profitable season,
it is the time TO invest in Real Estate.
People buying property now will realize
handsome profits before the advent of
1895. Call and see John Il. Hambleton &
Co., office in the DAILY LIGHT building.
who are now Offering property of all
kinds at prices to suit the most fastidious.
3 ct
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1894-01-15
Mexican Lands and Mines.

If those who want to invest in farming
and tim Der lands, raise oranges, bananas,
fruit, or embark In mines In the State Of
Nuevo Leon, Coahuila and Tamaulipas
will address me l will furnish them a cor
rect description of the lands and products
of those States.
No letter answered unless accompanied
by 81 in United States currency.
f. LEvAN,
Monterey, Nuevo Leon, Mexico.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1894-01-15
FAITHFUL.

ness could sever
The cords that have bound you for ears
to my heart?
That the strong door OF rate smut De-
tween tiS forever
Could sunder our hearts as our lives far
apart?
Bid you think that | held you so Rightly,
my treasure,
The worlds little joys for your loss
could atone?
Or that your shallow heart by its aching
could measure
Yhe depth of my love by the depth OF
your own
"Ah, no. there are depths that you never
have sounded.
Far down in my heart, like the pearls la
the sea;
And the strength of its feeling can never
be bounded
BY time or by change or by absence
from thee2
Did you think that the bonds of affection
were welded
As silken and frail as the curl of your
hair.
To snap like chain when the brief
charm was ended
And leave us as free as the fetterIess
air?
held you so lightly,
Were garlands of roses that broke at
your will,
When the blossoms fell off that deceived
us so brightly
There were chaiuS underneath that
must fetter me still,
Did you think that my love was too feeble
to follow
The wreck of its hopes to their tomb in
your breast?
Or that finding your heart grown so chilly
The captive could fly from the comfort
less nest?
All, no. as the swallow that builds in the
ruin
Returns to its nests with the blossoms
of spring:
As the bird that was lured by its fatal
Comes fluttering home on its half
broken wing;
AS the rosy Tipped shell cast ashore by
the ocean.
In sadness and exile still sings of the
sea.
So my hearts every tender and faithful
emotion.
My loved and lost darling, returns unto
thee!
"Ah, it is my doom that still must re-
member
The things it were wiser by far to for
get,
The roses of June mid the SHOWS of Dec
ember.
The hope that has turned into death
less regret.
II you had been Drawer or fate been less
cruel,
never had won you and lost you again,
But, losing the caSket, | treasure the
Jewel
The mom'ry of love though its turned
into pain.
DO you think that my future retaineth
no token
To fetter my soul to the happiest past?
No passionate pulse in the heart you
have broken.
That clings to you changeless and true
TO the last?
DO you thi nix that the feeble regret you
have given
Finds measure to measure in love like
to mine,
That mOurnS you to earth and could miss
you in heaven,
The one wanting star in its glory divine!
IT'S the story one reads in Loves earliest
primer.
One gives and one takeS-aS the sun on
his throne
Absorbs in It's light all the dew-drops
sweet simmer,
So all my life has grown into your own.
Did you think that held you so lightly,
nv treasure,
The world could be weighed as slave
for your Ioss?-
Even though | might add to the pitiful
measure
A broken hearts weight and a LIES
heavy cross"
THE old pain lives. Who hath not tried
To bury love that never died l.
To thrust his idols from his side?
Who have succeeded? Few are these.
Too few. Felise!"
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1894-01-15
The Enchanted Dream/and

Of anticipated travel abroad be hope deferred heart but
with the aid of these exquisite Photographic Views
resd and fguravey travel the world your leisure