The record-union., 1894-01-30

helpIessly and wildly in the air. | was
100 frightened to laugh then, but devoted
all my energies to place him upon his
pedal eXtremities.
w hen he had once more regained his
equilibrium and [ had found out for a
certainty that no bones were broken and
no serious damage done, except to the
chair, then the ludicrous side OF the
situation struck me and | gave way
10 unhallowed mirth, and l thought how
much the old gentleman looked like the
laIien P1ckwick as he lay helpless on his
back.
THE victim did not laugh, let me tell
you. His dignity had received a shock
greater than il had ever received
before. When he found himself once
more upright and uniniured, he adjusted
the chair, said in his most dignined, inn
pressive tones: An, Mrs. NJ, it
seems to me that chair was not properly
mended.'
= was sat upon, metaphorically, so
carried myself and the offending chair
from the room, after my offer OF arnica
and Ponds Extract had been rejected.
How | thirsted for revenge on that slant
eyed Celestial, as / examined the chair in
the seclusion OF my room and found that
instead OF putting in whole new rung,
he had merely pasted the broken ends to-
gether with a piece of wood as large as
my finger. All things come to him who
waits, and | didn't have to wait long be-
fore my enemy again came TO the door
with his all-tlme question, 'Shalrs to
mend?'
Il brought him and showed him how
poorly he had done the work and asked
him what he intended to do about it. he
gaZed upon the chair with that stoical in
difference which only the Celestial can
assume. He thought for a moment, evil
denuy his Oriental brain was cogitating
some deep and weighty problem At
length he screwed up his little eyes tighter
| than ever and al expansive grin gradually
suffused his countenance. He held out
one little weezened claw and said: Give
me one dollar more, 1 make him shair
heep good, all light
His braZenness positively astounded
me. To pay this little heathen y Tor
something which. had | taken ii TO any
store in this city, could have been done
| for 10 cents was more than flesh and blood
could endure. During our brief inter
view we were standing in the hall. /
opened the door ana in speechless wrath
! pointed Tor him to leave. AS he turned
/ TO go down the steps an irresistible inn
| pulse which l could not overcome seized
me and lifted my foot and kicked him,
none too gently, for the force of 1t sent
! him spinning down the steps with
more haste than he had anticipated
| The moment l committed the deed
closed the door with a bang and rushed
into the parlOr and from behind the shell
ter OF the lace curtains | peeped out at my
/ late victim. He was standing OIL
! the bottom step, where be had
just landed, looking up at the
! house with his mouth opened
to its fullest extent and the most comica
/ expression OF surprise on his face | ever
saw in my life. Had he only looked
| shouldn't have minded, out / nearly col
! lapsed with rage and modification wher
he put his hand behind him and began
to slowly and deliberately rub the in
jured spot. what would my neigh
bors think p l debated within myself
while CONSERVATION seized upon my very
soul. Just then an answer to my ques-
/ ton arose in my mind. Why
! they viii only think he is scratching 9
hea,' and then L left the window, my
mind and heart at peace with the worlc
and all mankind, for l had had my re-
venge and my star boarder was avenged
BEsELENA Bessie Mae Guinean).