Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1894-10-12
THE SODA FOUNTAIN.
THERE is DANGER IN SOME OF THE
Triples 1T FURNISHES.

travagant Habits Are Fostered-A Liquid
Drug Fountain-A Dispenser of "PiclS Me
Up" Decoctions Expresses Himself
Nervousness seems to be fad just
now" said the man behind the soda water
bar. Half the trndo is from persons who
think they need something to pick them
up. First les phosphate then bromide
in some form and then something stron
ger. don't know where the craze will end
The soda fountain has become bar
for mixed drinks and prescription coun
ter where every customer is his own doc
tor. / guess the next improvement " i'll
he n nickel-in-the slot attachment for pull.
ing teeth while you wait
You needn't quote me as saying so,
she loquacious mixolugist went on, but
it's n fact that must be apparent to every
one that the soda water fountain is rapid
ly becoming menace and nuisance.
Its a good cheap affair for n young spoon
to march his best girl up to on hot sum
mcr night; it's less expensive than the ice
cream table, and therefore it is an eco
nomical device, but it gets men, women
and children into the habit of drinking
all sorts of villainous decoctious about the
effect of which they know nothing and
which they don't need at all
Il don't mind serving ice cream soda
to a beyy of pretty girls, for that is
harmless sort Of beverage, and the girls
are generally kittenish enough to give the
service a certain amount of interest, but
when your hypochondrac comes in-the
fellow who is blessed with perfect health
who doesn't know that he's got IA stomach
except when hos hungry, who knows about
liver only as something that goes with ba-
con and about kidneys only as viands
incest when they re broilcd-when such a
man comes in and studies out something
he has not yet tried, why, then l want to
| 90 back to Iowa. -
With that awful thought in his mind
! the egg shaker gave the marble counter
swipe with towel and sent drops of
! Waukesha water flying all over the chew
q. ing gum.
The worst feature of the business,
though" he said, returning to the attack,
! is the medicinal end of it. Men want
| bromo this and bromo that, and some ask
for quinine and others bicarbonate of
soda; some get whisky, and l have IA regu-
lar cod liver oil patron. Another man
wants pepsin in his, and peppermint is
common enough. Plenty of them come to
the soda water clerk as if he were doctor
and ask for something for ills real or imag-
mary, of which they may or may not be
seized or possessed, as l have heard a
lawyer friend Of mine say
You wouldn't believe it," the drug
store teddy tosser continued after fixing a
raspberry phosphate, but men, and WON
en-, too, come here and ask for poisuns.
One chloroform drunkard drops in regu-
larly to try to persuade me to give him IA
drink, and woman who lives near here
comes frequently after laudanum in hers
One chap staggered me by asking for some
bromo hyacenc, Il drug l never heard of,
and | kept II drug store in Dcs MOincs till
| got caught at it.
Il looked up bromo hyacene and found
that one-hundredth Of grain is enough
to put man SO sound asleep that check
erboard suit wouldn't wakcn him. He
didn get his medicine. Guess he wanted
to shuttle off "
i The dispensing chemist sided up to the
other end of the bar, served lemonade
glassful Of the citrate of magnesia and
swabbed the counter on his way back to
the cracker bowl, for this soda water bar
had a free lunch waters or biscuits, 3"
instead Oh dirty crackers and much finger
cd cheese
THAT'S the worst feature of the trade, -
he began again, 1.-THE prescribing for self
feature. | used to think when patent med
icines were my chief stock in trade that
the dear people were dosing themselves
into early graves, making themselves
'brainless ms chimpanzecs, meager as liz
ards but l think now that the browning
glory of American foOlishncss is the so
called soda water fountain. Young poo
pie get into bad and eXtravagant habits
patronizing the soft drink bars ana Older
people-busincss men who ought to have
better sense-come tumbling in here for u
brace up on drugs half dozen times
day when all they need is as much eXor-
else as is contained in "A walk around the
block
The soda fountain, or liquid drug
fountain, is the first cousin to the Office
lounge, said the ex-Iowan as he polish
ed glass after swallowing a lemon phos-
phatc. There are more lounges in Offices
nowadays than ever before The profess
siOnal man becomes tired, his eyes swim,
and his head aches. He lies down for
few minutes and thinks he is all right
again and resumes work worse Off than
before rest for he has to make a greater
effort to pick up the thread where he
dropped it. If he doesn't lie down he
runs out to the soda fountain, gulps any
thing he happens to think of and goes
back refreshed after the faith cure idea of
retreshment That Is, he thinks he is re-
, freshod whom he isn't. That's Why l say
tho lounge and the fountain are related.
Take Il little something before you go?
''NoY Oh, this won't hurt you; it $ only
wild cherry, with a little phosphate in it,
and there isn't enough prussic acid in the
cherry to hurt anybody.
"Growing2 Yes, it's grow ing. In fact
it's the pot boiler Of all the down town
drug stores. Hot drinks in winter and
iced drinks in summer! Buy hig foun-
tain, throw away the key of the front door,
keep open day and night, cut price on
regular trade, ana your fortune is made.
Sell cigarettes and nerve toncs, ana You
can keep tramp armies supplied with
franks. Keeping a soda water fountain
is about ON IA level with running hotel in
q resort for consumptives. " - Chicago
Times.