The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-09-08
A DECEPTIVE DUDE.
The Man Who Frolicked With HIM "o'
Somewhat Damaged.
LOUISIANA

NJ
Somewhat Damaged.
Az the foot of Bates street a police
man found young man sitting on
barrel with both eyes bunged up, ms
nose knocked out of shape and q mouth
full of loose teeth. All was over be-
fore he got there, but some OF the
crowd still fingered, and boy under
took to explain matters.
1--WE was all a-sittin' here" he be-
gan, '.when that feller there, whose
name is Jim, and who thinks he is bad,
got hungry to fight someone. He got
SO hungry that he almost cried
Wanted to fight, did hep" queried
the officer.
"Yes, the awfullest way. He sassed
about six men, but they wouldn't stop
He Jest cried because two great big
loafcrs wouldn't pitch into him and let
him throw hisself. By and by dude
of chap ken along. He was little and
he was purity. and you orter seen his
bewtiful pants. He was a-lookin' fur
the Mt. Cleme ms boat, We know"
''Yes, and what happened?'
ssWhy, Jim begins to smile as soon as
he sees the little dude, and we who
knows Jim knows that suthin' was up.
The chappie he comes up, rests one OF
his patent feathers on that there box,
and SAYS: ''Fellahs, I'm lookin' fur the
Mt. Clemens boat, We knaw." With
that Jim Jumps up and wants to know
who dares cali him a feilah."
"Wanted to pick fuss, suppose"
observed the officer
'.He did. He wanted to pick NOR
tai combat. lie meant to break that
little dude right in two and use the
pieces fur fishbait. The little chappie
looks at Jim in a weary way, and puts
mp an eye-glass like this and says;
'Ah, me dear fellah, it's custom, We
knaw, but beg pawdon. Does the
aw--boat leave from this dock| lie
looked mighty scarf, and that encour-
aged Jim, and Jim he begins to cuss
and blow"
''Still anxious, eh?"
1.-The anxiousest kind of anxious. He
feels that he has got to tackle that
dude or chaw a rag, and as starter he
hauls off and spit terbacker juice on
the little ones shiny shoes. Mebbe he
expects the dude to run away, but he
didn't fly with cent. He stays right
there and looks i'm all over and smiles
and SAYS: Me deah fcllah, will you
kindly take your handkerchief and re-
move the-aw-ye knaw?"
but Jim didn't remover" queried the
officer
'.Becher life he didn't. He jest looks
all around to see if there's copper in
sight, and then he reaches out and tries
to poke his finger into the little one:
eye. He don't git there, however
Chappie jumps back and says: WEAKLY
me deah boy, cawn't put up with sucl
familiarity, doncher knaw-cawn't pos
sibly do it! Ifyou go to frolic with me
/ shall be obliged to hurt We, donchel
knaw!"
'.And then, of course, Jim sailed in tt
mash him?"
'sOf course. Spit on his hands ant
sailed in to wreck ehappie's bloomin
future, but sunthin' happened. Th'
little Teller drops his cane, puts up hi
dukes, and in one blessed mint jim
was a licked man. Chappie skips arount
him. and climbs over him, and fights
two-handed, and by and by he swings
fur the jaw and Jim goes over that boz
and falls asleep like a bloomin' summel
even, and it wasn't two minits agot tina
he opened his bloomin' eyes"
''But about the dude?"
30, he stops mint to pick up hi
cane and shake wrinkle outer hi
pants, and then goes off sayin: 'Sorr,
TO do it, We knaw, but weakly had to
Wanted to poke me in the eye, donche
see, and nevah allow it-nevah. Eel
'ahs, au revoir. '"-Dctroit Free Press
LlIARl hEPnICM