The Big Stone Gap post. [volume] (Big Stone Gap, Wise County, Va.) 1892-1928, 1894-08-23
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Teachcr--"What have the warrior
expeditions to the north pole accom-
plished?" Dull boy-''Madc geography
lessons harder"
-Jofnny-"7a, does the boo!1worm
turn into n grub?' Pa--"Not exactly:
but he turns the grub into The book
sellers. boston Transcript
1t is not strange Il at very few
men know themselves Intimately ,1ost
people like 10 get rid Of di<agreeablc
acquaintance. Texas Sitting
DO you have a great deal OF trolhle
changing servnnts?" "No, Indeed: The
last only stayed an hca. AM The one
before didn't even take off her hat"
Mrs RanlSs-"Is There my one,
dear, you would like to have me marry
when You die?" Mr.. nanxs-.'No, dar-
ling: hold no bitter grudgc against
any man living"
An Appropriate Costume. Tom 81
saw rosebud of girl go by awhile
ago on bicycle" Jack ."Did she have
| on bloomer costuma?"-Detroit Free
Press.
Proud Father Cooking at his flrst}-
Isn't he SWEET Mo:her-"Yes. in
dccdyis. 'Weetcst lily sing as ever
was" Proud Father-''Lool<s almost
! human, doesn't hep"
--'sIIow did you come tolnalo friends
with that horrid Mrs. Scratch" 'Why,
sho had an imported gown that fitted
her horribly, and wanted p chance to
tell her of it."--Inter Ocean.
No Room for EXpansion.-i!c-
Doesn't your soul sometimes ycarn to
reach out and encompass the universe
She-"Yes, but have TO suppress the
| feeling when it comes on; you see we
live in fiat. "-Brooklyn Eagle
FLOW do you like the drcsemalser I
sent You to?" I'm afraid shes not
first class" .'WhyT' "Well. she al
lowed me to make a suggestion With
out losing her temper. '-Demorests
Monthly.
Uncle Clover" Mandy, you better
look at them city folks knives. Aunt
Clover" Why? Uncle Clovcr--''Wen,
there must "a bin something wrong
with 'em, fur they every one eat with
their forks"
-IIubby-"Well. guess I'll have
shave" Wifey-"Wait till Willie leaves
the room. 1t is so hard to break hiin
Of bad words when once he gctsstartcd
on thcm."-N. Y. Herald.
~ am going 20 DC economical, ~ said
! Cawkcr, in unfolding some plans to
| Kildutf: land kill twr birds with one
stone" ".ire stones scarce" asked
Kilduff. focctiously. "No, but rocks
are. Truth.
A writer in the Rev. Edward *
Helc's Lend Hand says the most c on-
gcstcd district in the world il below
Fourteenth street in New York where
there are 100 900 people packed like 50
many sandwiches.
Hard On Hin. --AInbcl-'I suppose
you have heard OF Sister Lons mar
riape? She's taken fiat up town.
Miss Jellus-''Nes, l heard She had Il
fat. but didn't hear where she had
taken him" -Lcslie's Weekly.
Ills Threat Tho brnwnv police
man crouched in the doorwa,E. glaring
cat into the darkcncd street. Suddenly
the loud blast of q tin born sounded
near at hand. The policeman gave a
mighty bound into the street and
caught two trembling boys by the col
lar. "Wow" he Numbered. III %
knew which wan Nv ycz done it, Oh
Oid run yez both in.'-Truth.
Injured Mrs. Churchmouse-"Ah n.
here's q letter from Cousin Coldpluniis.
asking us to spend a week or two TT his
place at Newport Churchmouse-
Hang it. That's too bal OF Cola.
plunksr' Mrs Churchm sc--''N ny.
thought vou'd &c pleased t. GO.
Church,nousc We'll, Coldplunisa told
me last fall he intended to bny steam
Yacht and spend the summer on the
Mediterranean. I'm tired OF Newport
Puck.