Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-11-04
TaE IDEAL HUSBAND.
MRS. LYNN LINTON DISCUSSES HIS QUALITIES
AND HIS DUTIES 10 HIS FAMILY.
he Must Be Master, but He Should Not Trench
Upon His Wibs Righdal Domain, Else the
Wife Becomes Either irritable or IniOlsnt

The first necessity for woman's true
happiness in married life is that the
husband should make himself respected
respect lasting longer and going
farther than any purely emotional tie
between married people. That dream
OF young love, all kisses and poetry,
each others eyes and the sweet inhu-
ences OF the moonlight, passes with time
aud use, just as the exquisite freshness
Of the spring passes into the ma
turs amplitude of the summer, and this
again into the noble fruitfulness Of the
autumn. We can not have it always
srlngtime and apple blossoms; nor can
tue early raDtures OF the honeymoon
continue through the working years OF
life. With the happiest marriage In
the world this ecstasy cools down into
iriendshiD-sweet and tender and faith
ful and confidential, but no more like
exaltation OF the first days than the
rudy apples of September are like the
pink apple blossoms of May.
Marriage is essentially matter OF
give and take-oi overlapping spheres,
independent though conjolned-oteQua
rights differently mauiiested-yet with
the necessity of one supreme head, one
authoritative voice when grave occasion
demands an absolute and final decision.
The grand cause of quarrel generally
rests on the question: Whose is that
voice TO be? Is the husband or
the wife to be TO court Of
ultimate appeal? Are his thoughts
to override her wishes, or her
wishes 10 neutrslize his principles?
Outside these grave occasions, howev-
er. which, according TO ne Of the old
school, both justify and dignity the ex-
ercIse of martial authority, the man
VINO interieres with his wiie's duties
and trenches on her rightiul domain is
sure 10 come TO the grief he deserves,
IL his wife be Of the true sort, with a
due sense OF self-respect and right as
innate Of her apportioned duties. Shs
resants his interference in matters not
belonging 10 him: perhaps she
fights and bickers-perhsps she
letting him usurD the place which be-
longs to her, and cOntenting herself as
she best can with "make.ups" OF va
rious kinds. If she takes up this cause
or that, and makes herself a noisy
platform nuisance; il she plunges into
dissipation and finds happiness only in
excitement aud the vortex" II she
gives her energies to art, her ambition
10 literature, and lets her home 60 as II
will, her husband alone is TO blame.
Others suffer, and no one more than
ha ( 81 Ia
though, indeed, mighty little harm
that fact does TO him!
1t NAV be, however, that the wife re-
ioices 10 this interference, and finds 1t
a relief unspeakabe to be spared all
trouble and all responsibility. She is
indolent and self-indulgeHt, and lets
herself sink into the position Of ia
vorite toy or living doll that has been
dressed in fine clothes and laid on soft
cushions, taken out for an airing in the
sight Of an admiring world, fed delicate
liz and kept from all the dignity OF SELF
restraint, the education of experience,
the enobling influence Of active duties.
One knows women OF this kind, aoso-
lutely destitute OF the womanly in
sttncts OF household management
women who look upon every detail OF
domestic life as an indignity, and who
hold themselves worthy Of all pity II
they have 10 order dinner or see TO
the fit arrangement of guest cham
Der. Ask such women what they think
they were born for, and they will an
swer: ITO be taken care OF aud have
no trouble" With no more maternal
instinct than they have womanly ap-
probation, they have no love for their
children il they have any, and no
desire for them If they have none. II
they come, they are given up TO the
nurse as things with which she has all
aud the mother herself nothing to do.
Grown older, they are sent TO school or
delivered over to the gOverneSS without
much anxiety as TO their well being,
under neglect here, irrenposslble pow
ar there. In no case are they the moth
er's care-she whose only feeling is one
of dismay as she cOntemplateS the
time when her tall son will be
an accusing witness OF the flight
of time, when her grown daugh-
ter will have 10 be taken out
and introduced. Such women as these
are essentially Western odalisques-
creatures Of idleness and luxury, doing
no good to any one. There is this diff
ference between them. The Western
married odalisQue lives for herself alone,
taking all, giving back nothing. The
final cause of the other is the pleasure
OF the man. Between these different
k-,fi
of moral degradation-there is not a
pin to choose. The one is selfishness,
the other servltude; and both are de-
structve OF wOmanly nobility.
At the other end OF the scale stands
the obedent husband, comDaisant,
laehe, perhaps Indifferent for the one
part, and seli-dishonoring for the other.
This is the man who takes things as
they come, and makes no complaint,
how bad SOever or inadequate they may
be. he allows his wife unlimited au-
thority, with liberty 10 correspond. She
is absolute mistress Of the family life.
II is she who chooses the schools for her
boys: she who determines on their pro-
fessional career; she who regulates
their allowances, moral and material.
The husband is nowhere, while she is
ubiquitous as well as predominant. She
holds her husband ia 8 leash even
shorter aud more tightly strained than
that wherein she holds her own sons
and daughters. She regulates his per-
sonal life from start 10 finish; aud if
she dislikeS the smell of cigars she for
bids their use by him or her boys. She
counts his glasses OF wine; administers
his fortune; derides his principles If