The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1894-02-16
A SPINSTER.

q passion for Caroline--wartime gal
lants, three decades back. But before
their mouths had caught courage from
their eyes or their arms had acted out
the convictions of their silences, they had
received her unspoken "No." Her proud
bearing was part of natures gift, and if
in part it was a screen for her timidity,
the mask was too deceptive, had Caro-
line but known it. Her lovers fell away
one by one, from fortress that only
seemed invulnerable.
When this troop Of towards had yield
ed, there had stepped forward q man Of
courage, of broad mental compass.
Though young, he had served his coun-
try-not alone passively, but actively,
in battle, a private at first. He had
fought brayely, and when graduated
from the school of war had an ugly scar
on his left arm to show for it, He was
almost ashamed Of it--so slight. The
same bullet had killed a comrade near
by. He had ambitions noble, strong. He
had will Of iron, energies unfaltering.
He possessed, besides fine physique, the
sufficient physical backing to uphold
him in his exploits He was persistent
in love as in elbowing his way forward
among his fellowmen. He loved Caro-
line.
She had often analysed her feelings
toward him. She knew his love was
honest. She approved his perseverance,
and yet, when he demanded an answer,
she had said 'no". Later she had re-
peated it-"No." Still he was obstinate.
Then had come that farewell moment
when hewas about departing for broader
fields to give his ambitions play.
"Answer mel Answer me fnallyn he
had demanded.
At that critical moment she had ad-
mired his manner. He had given no in
dication Of 4 lack Of hope. She had he's
itated an instant. A denser film had
overspread her eyes. And then, con-
trolling her nerves, she had answered:
"Forever, Mr.. Hadon, nor
Her eyes had looked into his an in
slant, and then upon the ground. The
agony that they suffered on the porch
there together had been Of brief mo-
ment.
II go now," he had said, and left her.
She had never called him by his given
name, but, as he passed through the
gateway these words had almost es-
capped her:
II do love you, John! Come backp'
The words were never spoken. That was
the instant in which Caroline became a
spinster.
When she reflected upon what she had
done, she was half regretful. After all,
that which had deferred her from ac-
cepting him was only q whim of her
own. He was handsome? Yes. He was
manly. Without a doubt He possess
ed for her q certain fascination, but
with leap, that to the whole world ex-
cept herself was unaccountable, her
thoughts went back to the ugly nurse
she had had in her infancy. She shud-
dered as she beheld then, as clearly as 20
years previous, the aged hag lowering at
her, ogling her through those wary spec
tacles. How she had wondered If she
appeared distorted in the distorted eyes
Of Hannah!
! But those were tiny cares, childish
compared to the worries of the present
moment to which her mind returned.
Undoubtedly another man would love
her exactly like him, except-Caroline
had rested her elbows upon her knees,
her face in her hands and was weeping,
Her reverie had presently taken more
practical turn. How could she tell her
father and mother that he had gone, gone
forever; that neither they nor she should
see him again? She dared not give the
real reason, the paltry objection that
had offset his words Of manliness.
\
Ten years ago Caroline found white
hair in the midst of that cascade Of
black. She drew it over in front of her
face, looked upward at it with slight
cast of the eyes and petulantly pulled il
out. She was not old. Forty is not old
The following day she discovered al
other. Ithad root near the right temple,
Yesterdays gray hair had been upon the
left. If she must grow old a virgin
Providence at least intended that she
should grow old symmetrically, in per.
feet form till the end. Then, as she
swept the long wisps Of black around in
front of her, she discerned another, This
nettled her. She carefully separated il
from the wealth of surrounding black
and fingered it to its source at the top
just at the very top Of her well shaped
head. She pulled it out, exclaiming as
she did so, "Weeds"
But she was now growing old, She
would not have minded these tokens had
they been seasonable gifts from Father
Time. But 40 is not old.
The following day Caroline penned a
letter to distant apothecary.
81 have a friend whose hair is becom-
ing gray" she wrote, "Please send me-
the pen tilted moment. She was
writing for what in her younger days
she had called "that horrid stuff" And
| yet it was only dye, and for friend.
She finished the epistle and posted it
herself,
few dAys later a small narca1 Aafne