The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1894-05-11
~~~-
VARIETIES.

AT the Worlds Fair two country
girls stood before copy of the Elem
ish artist, Paul Potter's great master
piece, and one of them read from her
catalogue, THE Young Bull, after
Potter Yes said the other;
there's the bull, but where's Potterg''
Don't you see him." asked her COM
panion, pointing to the figure of the
herdsman, behind the treef' The
other was admiring statuette of
Andromeda, which was labeled, "Ex-
ecuted in terra-cotta'' Where is
Terra Cotta?" asked she, with pro-
badly some vague idea of Terra del
Fuego. Pm sure | do not know"
was the reply; 'but | pity the poor
girl wherever she is"
Charles Dickens once received an
invitation to walter Scott" party,
each guest being expected to appear
in the character of one or the other of
Scott's heroes. On the eventful night
however, Dickens appeared in simple
evening dress among host of Rob
Roys and Ivanhoes. The host asked
him which of Scott's characters he re-
presented. "Why, Sill" replied Dick
ems, Il am character you will find
in every one of Scott's Novels | am
the gentle reader"
Mrs. ENTHUSIASTICALLY, here is
the letter from my son, Johnn' Post
master-"Well, what do | want with
that? l delivered it to you yester-
day" Mrs. Upthecreek-''I know you
did; but don't you see, it says ON the
envelope: Return in five days to
John Upthecreek, New York?'-
Though what John wants me to re-
turn his letters for, l can't under
stand"
-'Oh, say, Mamie,'' exclaimed
Maud, "you just out to see Harry
since he Joined the National Guard
He looks perfectly lovely" HE
mustr' reioined Mamie rapturously.
Il do so hope there won't be any
WARP "It would be dreadful if Harry
were to get killed" 4 wasn't think
ing of that. Lots of people go to war
without getting killed. But he'd be
just certain to spoil his clothes"
An inventor has patened device
for illuminating keyholes which
promises to be boon to PRISONS out
late at night. A recess in the door
which is lighted by push BUTTON
TIC llSlIU 10 OAliJ w
inmate the keyhole, but to permit the
late eomerto select readily the proper
key from his bunch.
-Mudge-''I'm in peck of trouble"
Yabsley--"What's the matter? ?"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. know, have
been paying some attention to old
Stockanlands's eldest daughter. I've
got an invitation to poker with him
tonight, and l don't know whether
he'll get mad if beat him or think
l have no business capacity if l let
him beat me-"
"A Young doctor desiring to make
a good impression upon a German
farmer, declared he had received a
double education He had studied
homeopathy, and was also a graduate
of regular" medical school. "Oh,
dot vas nodding,n said the farmer;
Il had vonce a calf vot suckd two
COWS, and he made nodding but a
common schteer, after all. j"
AT council meeting in the town
of Sunderland well known alderman
astonished the meeting by saying,
Gentlemen, we have been sending
our lunatics to Sedgefield asylum for
a long time now, and it has cost us a
great sum of money, but / am glad to
make the statement that we have now
built an asylum for ourselves.
The young preacher had preached
his first sermon on his new circuit
Next day one of his stewards said to
him, IF you do as we'll all the year as
you did yesterday, we won't find any
fault" To which the pastor replied
Brother, you be sure to be at church
all the year to see if do that WELL"
-Banks-"What did her father say
when you told him that you wanted
to marry his daughter?'' Rivers
"Well, he didn't absolutely refuse, but
he imposed a very serious condition"
Banks-"What was it?' Rivers
HE said he would see me hanged
first"
Mrs. Greynech-'So George is en-
gagedyn Mrs. Tangletongue-"Ye
he'll be married in June" Mrs. Grey
neck-''I hope he has young lady in
every way worthy of him." Mrs.
angletongue-"Oh, yes; l think l
can safely say that am satisfied in
every way with his fiasco."
-"Why was their engagement
broken off? Did they quarrel?"
mo; that was the trouble. They
were both so amiable that they got
tired of each other"
old Lady-My friend, are you
Christian? Beggar-"Well, mum, no
one has ever accused me of workin'
on Sunday"
Its all very we'll for the minister
to preach from the text, Remember
Lots wife," said an overworked,
discouraged matron, but I wish he
would now give us an encouraging
sermon upon the wife's lot"