The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1894-01-02

were put On the table to fill up
Johnny Billus: well, that's what /
used EN- for. mamma. "-BostOn Globe.
Hobbs Cooking at statue of Burns in
Central Park: 'Geei These city fellers
is rich. Make all their scarecrows o.
brass "-HdTper'S Bazaar.
81 Hosack: How brown an yaller
the sun ia settin' to day" Liz Francis:
Yes; it looks for all tn world like one
OF mothers punkin piesr-L1e.
"Who is that dowdy looking woman
going through the corridor" THAT
Is q successful fashion writer On one of
the magazines. "-NeU York Herald.
Say, Santa Clause come ter my
house las night" How you know
'Cuz dat turkey I d3ae won at de
rattle wuz gone dis mocaing."-Press
SJttngs.
Hoax: How did the expression,
living in clover originator Joax: Il
dare say it came from the scriptural
saying that all flesh is grass. '-PhilG
delphiG Record.
A Complaint of a Fouryear old
"Oh, auntyl I just went to touch a
little chicky, and the old hen growled
at me and bit me with her nose"-
Boston Courier.
Miss Antique: How mean these
| noWcDoOoro o~oJ uoro 10 a oO111ou
headed Proposals. and it is all about
public improvements and such non
sense."-Tbe Club.
There is no use in Americans worry
ing about the future. Should this
country go to graas we will be able tc
dispose of the hay at from $50 to $50 6
ton.-LittIe Rock Gazette.
Mickey Flahe' 5y: ''There is wan
thing, begorra, Oi1l be afther tellin
ye, an that is, no wan in the wide
wurruld a accuse me av concealing
the fact that Dim Oirish "-LJe.
Miss Winslow: I'm very glad you
called, Mr.. Walker" Mr.. Walker
"Oh, thenks, awfully." Miss Winslow
(more enthusiastically: Yes, I am
so delighted to have seen that beautiful
dog of yours. Truth.
Little Son: "What is brick made
Off, Mrs. Youngma: "Bricks are made
of clay" But clay is soft, ma.
"After the clay is shaped, the bricks
are baked" ''Oh, yes, I know now.
Like your biscuits. Good NeOUs.
"What is the lesson taught us in the
parable of the seven wise virgins3'
asked a Sunday-school teacher of his
pupils. "That we should always be
on the lookout for a bridegroom" said
the smallest girl in the class. "-TeraI
SJtimgs.
"Well, Mollie," said her papa, who
is a militia colonel, did you 9 me
marching up Broadway to dayf
"Yeth," said Mollie, land I was rea
mad, papa. They might have let you
have a drum to play on like those
others had Harper's Bazaar.
Rupert: 81 hope, mamma, that
wasn't impertinent to Mrs. Thatcher
to dayf" Mamma: Indeed, I hope
not, Rupert. What did you dot" Ru
pert: "Why, she said 1 vas growing
like a bean pole, and I told her bean
poles don't ~grow."-Horper'S YOWnG
People.
Then you are going to marry hin
simply for his money. I hope he'll
never find it out and despise you fol
it," "Oh, dear, moi IhAve told hin
just how it 10. He says he knows hi
money is much more worth having
than himself, and he il grateful to me
for taking him with it. "-L9e.
Proud Father: welcome back K
the old farm, my boy. So you got
through college all rightF Farmer
Son: Yes, father: Proud Father
I've know I told ye to study up or
chemistry and things 80 you'd know
best what to do with different kinds O.
lands. What do you think of that fla
medder there, for instance1,' Farmer
Son Goyfully): "Cracky, what a plac'
for a ball Vermont Watch
man.
A DANIEL OF DIXIE.