Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1894-05-24
7AURMON7. Frederick County, Maryland Thursday May "a 1894.

by the way, is the most wealthy man
in Farzedona. Consequently Jim
doesn't do anything but smoke cigars,
drive about town behind his splendid
grays and devote himself to the ladies
generally.
Farzedona is noted for its pretty
women. Statistics show that there are
more pretty women to every square
yard of ground in Farzedonna than in
any other city or town IN the world.
Well, when returned from the war,
and established myself in the halls Of
my fathers, | somehow, in a very short
time, found myself violently attached
to seventeen OF the most beautiful ladies
of Farzedona and singular as it may
seem, they were the very young ladies
whom Slympkins was courting.
To be sure Slympkins had, or was ex
pecting te have. much more wealth that
| could boast of, but he hadn't my face
you know,or anything like it. Further.
more, they have been, and probably al
ways will be, fond of the military, aud
Slympklns was not ID military man.
But what raised the very deuce with
S'ympkins was my wooden leg. When
that wooden leg walked in, Slympkins
had to walk out Not that The dear
creatures loyed Slympkins less ; but,
'Ah, me, Captain Boomerang, with his
wooden leg, was so chawm,ng yo1
know
Yes, was charming. Anybody with
half an eye could see that. Slympkins
saw it distinctly, and it was very pain
full to him. 1t was a good thing tor
Slympkins, my return to Farzedona'
You see, he had contracted such habit
of roying from flower to flower, that at
last it had become an impossibily Cor
him to settle upon any one particular
rose.
But took the wind out Of his sails,
and before had been in town month
he was glad TO concrecate all his alice
tions upon one lovely flower.
Unfortunately for Slympklns, this
flower happened to be the choicest one
in my collection Of seventeen and so
you see, when he concentrated bis at
feclons, did Che same, aud before he
had an opportunity to offer his heart,
laid mine a, her feet, and she accepted
1t, aud gave me hers IN return.
l was sorry for Slympkins, but what
could | DO? If he had chosen Miss
Smith, Miss Brown, Miss Jones, or, IN
fact, anyone but Miss Amelia Seymour
all would haye been we'll. But 1t was
really absurd for Slympkins to think
that l would allow him or any other
man to marry Amela-at least while |
had wooden leg.
Yes, | had won her, and poor SIymp-
kins was fairly wild with rage. He had
sworn to be reyengei, but langh'd ID at
his threats. You sac, didn't know
then how he was going to be reyenged.
l Saw it now very distinctly, on this
tha morning Of my wedding day; and
| rocked myself to and fro in my rock
Ing char and groaned, and bedewed that
short wooden leg with my tears, and |
said to myselfin my rage toward Silmp
kins that | would enforce the old Mo-
sac Law, and ia Ike au eye for an eye,
tooth for IA tooth and a leg for leg.
But this would meyer do for me TO be
groaning when there was work to be
done. | must prepare for the wedding
for | was bound to be married that day,
if had to hop all the way to church.
was seated at the brea kfast table
slipping my coffee half an hour after
wards when Mrs Brown came rushing
in. crying, "Oh, Captain, | know all
about it,
'What-the leg?'
Yes, l think so. My daughter, Eliza
says she saw Mr.. Slmpklns give Sam
some money last night.
Yes l know it was Slympkins.
More than that, Sam was married
last night to Miss Seymour's maid and
they went off together by the II oclocs
train
But, my dear woman, SAID I, I don't
care anything about whom ne married
or where he has gone. The question is