The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1894-11-27
The Major is Becoming Reconciled- VIII
Steer Clear of Steers in the Future
Row With a School Teacher.

49,
Steer Clear of Steers in the Future
Row With a, School Teacher.
B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hellol Major. Hope you are
well this morning"
.4B.-'I suppose I'm erbout az well az
you could expect fer a Teller whut wuz
outside ov the pit durin' ov a syklone.
I'm sorter becomin' rekonsiled erbout
the lection, but them N bruZes an
bark peelins I got a breakin' ov the
steers haint healed up yit. Hit will be
q cole day in July when I break eny
more oxen fer the boys, especially
Populist steers. Betsy say I he'd better
steer clear of ov steers in the future,
an blamed if 1 amt goin' ter take her
advise one more time. I believe Betsy
liz q prophet / hear that Senator
Ransom got hurt in a runaway last
week. Looks like hiz troubles an
mine cum bubble. You orter bin here
n mite last week ter hear me take
the starch out ov the new skule teacher
at Piney Grove Academy"
R-"You" fixed him, did youH"
Bot course I did. Hecum home
with the boys frum skule ter spend the
mite. Besty she put on her new frock
Whut she bought with eggs last spring
an pranced around an got a guide
supper. She wanted me ter sorter
fix up, too, but / tole her I Wuz In
mournin' now an it wouldn't look we'll
fer me ter spruce up jist fer the skule
teacher. l think she sorter got riled,
but she didn't says much"
R-"How about taking the starch
out of the teacherH"
B-"Well, we wuz anvil sittin' Ground
the fire after supper. Mean the teacher
talked over the publick affairs az well
az two ~dymakrats could at this time.
He lowed he wuz a guide dymakrat,
but knowed when he wuz whipped, an
sed he hoped everything would bedone
up in guide shape; that maybe it wuz
best fer US awl the way it turned out.
I didn't say ennything, an then he got
ter talkin' erbout the wonders ov geog-
rafy, geologic an astronomie. This
sorter stumped me. l tole him / didn't
believe awl this trumpery erbout the
wurld bein' hung on an axle like a
wagon wheel an turnin' Ground every
twenty-four hours. / tole him / be-
leeved the earth wuz bigger nor the
sun, fer I didn't see emmy need ov a
light bigger than the phase ter be Weighted
up. He LATED an sed scientists he'd
proven this long ago. Then he went on
ter tell that these fellers could figger
put ter the hour when we wuz q goin'
ter hev an eclipse ov the sun or moon
He lowed that the sun wuz so, 600, 900
miles from the earth. l axed him who
he'd done the measurin', an he couldn't
tell. He sed the moon an stars we're
many milluns of miles away, but you
could look through microscopes or
somethin' an tell that they were awl
inhabited, an that they are awl wurlds
like this one we live in. I tole him
I reckoned sum ov them folks cum
down ter North Carolina an voted the
Co operashun ticket on the 9Th. He
LATED again. 1 tole him the account ov
the creashun in the Bible sed that the
sun was made ter give lite an heat ter
the earth, an the noon an stars ter
give lite at mite ter keep it frum bein'
so dark you couldn't travel at all. He
sed I didn't seem ter be posted an l
tole him maybe 1 wuzent, but he'd have
ter git up before day ter git me ter be-
leeve these Populist doctrines erbout
the earth bein' round. I tole him I
never heered much erbout SIGH things
before the Populist party wuz sprung
on the country, an 1 believed it wuz
sum ov their chimerikal doctrines,
enyhow. He soon got sleepy an went
ter bed. 1 wanted Betsy ter agree to
stop the children frum skule, but she
wouldn't jist yit. Gudebye."