The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-02-03

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Got to charge somethin' fur our
feelin's, num- Chicago Tribune.
ACCOUNTED FOR AT LAST.
First Urchin-What dye reckOn's
the rcasOn Buff'lo Bill wears his hair
so long?
Second Urchin-He wants to let
them ~Injuns Of his know he amt
afraid Of en- Chicago Tribune.
PRECEDENT ESTABLISHED.
What makes you think she will
marry your
'She has married other men,
Truth.
THE ONLY CAUSES.
Mrs. Dobson-Bridget told me she
saw Mr.. and Mrs. Hobson going to
church this morning. ] wonder
what's the matter?
Mr.. Dobson-Why either Mr.. Hob
son has had another attack of his
heart trouble, or Mrs. Hobson has a
new hat Puck.
UNSELFISH LOVE.
He-If you loved me you would
marry me while ! am poor.
She-Iou do me an injustice. |
love you too much to have your pre-
cious health risked by my cooking.
Wait until you can afford to keep
servants Life.
A MAN TO BE AVOIDED.
IIiggins-There comes Baggs. |
don't care TO meet that fellow. |
asked him to lend me $40 day last
spring.
Hoggons-He ought to have let you
have it: he's rich.
Higgins-Well, you see, he did
Life.
BARoMETRIC INDICATIONS.
Senior Partner-One thing | like
about our new clerk is that he is re-
liable. You can always tell what he
is going to do next.
Junior Partner-And what is that?
Senior Partner-Nothing.- Truth.
AN ABSORBING TALE.
Office Boy to Butcher-Mr. Serial
wants ten cents worth of sliced ham
wrapped up in the continuation Of
the story you sent him yesterday
with the sausages.- Browning's.
RELENTLESS.
Gotrox-Iou can't work any dyna-
mite fakes here. There isn't any use
for you TO try it,.
Dismal Dawson-Dis amt no dyna-
mite. Dis is II accordion; an if you
don't give up two bones, I'll play
1.-TWO Little Girls in Blue" right
here. See?-L Puck.
FULLY OCCUPIED.
Cora-How is it that when a man
writes one famous story he seldom
writes another?
Merritt-Because he devotes the
rest of his life to telling us how he
came to write it Puck.
WANTED TO ASK SOMEBODY WHO KNEW.
Under ordinary circumstances he
was n man of prominence-but as
he assembled the steps of his resi-
dence, very early in the morning, it
was as evident that he desired to be
as much otherwise as possible. The
cabby was lingering near to see that
his charge was safely disposed of for
the night. The door opened before
the man on the steps could get his
KEY to work, and he was met with'the
question:
John, where have you been?"
(Silence.)
'John, where have you been?'
lie turned To descend the steps.
Are you going to answer my ques-
tion?'
"Nes'h my dear. | am. From my
personal knowledge, | can't give the
desired inf'mation. "A I'm goin' to
ask the mar that drives the hack
Life.
DANGERS OF THE BOTTLE. :
Fogg-There's an example of the
bottle working a mans ruin.
Fogg-Humph, Whiskey?
Fogg-Nop; ink. Jury awarded
the girl S50, 900 damages in Il breach
OF promise suit on the strength Of the
letters he wrote, and il took every
cent he had to pay it.-IBufIalo
Courier.
C~URTAILING EXPENSES.
Never knew such hard times, old
boy. We're economizing at u
house now just like other folks
You were always an excessive
smoker. | suppose the first thing
you did was TO cut down the number
Of your cigars?'
We'll, no; not exactly. You see,
WHEY does the household work in
stead of hiring a girl, and that's