The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-08-10


 cratic votes enough to go round. Then there is the populist party and the ever rejuvenating prohibition party. All Of these parties are to be supplied with variety of candidates for a variety Of offices. and each candidate will re- quire any number of booms; for a boom acceptable in one section Of the state may not be accepted in all. That the writing of all these booms should be left to novices and amateurs Is non- sense. It would be a waste of an oppor- tunity to form and develop new and profitable industry. Let the public
 look out for the incorporation of: "The Prospect Hill Boom Writing Co.,, Limi- ted.
 Candidates before addressing them- selves elsewhere will find 1t to their in- terest to communicate with the Pros pect Hill Boom Writing Co.,. Limited. Business conducted with secrecy and dispatch. A large line of booms and boomlets constantly on hand for imme- diate use. with blank spaces for names, offices. dates, virtues, deeds and other qualifications. The statements of can didates accepted. or examined, in &C., cordance with fixed scale of prices. No bribery or corruption tolerated on, or within hundred feet of, the prem ises. Guarded and obscure entrances and exits, &c.. Sc.
 A prospectus like the above would, of course, cover the whole thing with ridicule. It Is only given to show with what care the incorporators will have to proceed, and to let the public know that they are perfectly aware of the dangers and perplexities which beset their path. The public can rest as- sured that the incorporators will not be caught mapping. They know what they are about. Whether the company will unite with companies already formed for writing speeches for pro- spective or actual candidates; speeches to be used In congress, in the legisla- ture, after dinner speeches, &c., &c., is not yet settled. Boom writing is the easier writing. The other companies have not assured existences and the Boom Co. does not wish to imperil the value of its stock. Moreover, speech writing requires an intimate acquaint- ance with the prospective speakers, which might be disagreeable to the company's officials, and the use of ap- propriate slang and ungrammatical ex- pressions which might be quite offen- sive to-.the companys professor of style. Still in these commercial days the company must, for cash hold itself ready to make all reasonable sacrifices. As to how booms are to be prepared i; that of course is the company's secret. So much depends upon the man and the office that little can be said, or written, in general way on the subject. The company has no objections, however, to let the public know the fundamental methods of the business. In fact it would rather have them known in or der that the public may be ready with suggestions for improvement. The company trusts that it and the public may be one from the outset. In the first place experience has taught that a boom should be of two parts, the inter- view and the boom proper. Which should proceed is matter of so little importance that the order may be left to the idiosyncracies of the candidate. It is polite to consult the candidate so far as combatible with safety. All the self-abnegation part of the boom should be in the interview Here the candidate expresses in selected lan- guage his humility, his overwhelming sense of responsibility in the face, &c., of the exalted office, Sc. Here also comes in his high regard for the other candidates and his conviction that the interest of the party would be safe, &c, in their hands,&c. Caution is necessa- ry. The candidate must not be allowed to express a too strong sense of the merits of rival candidates. The public might take him at his word and dis miss him as an inferior creature. All | this has been we'll thought out by the company Candidates need have no fears. A most choice and extensive list of phrases has been prepared, any one of which can be used with perfect safety in reference to a rival candi- date. Rival candidates may come to the companys parlors and get them off at one another without any fear of offense being given, or of confession of superiority being conveyed. The com pany brides itself particularly on these phrases.
 The party supposed to be interview ing the candidate must be represented as skillfully leading him on to rehear- sals of virtues and of valiant party deeds, betraying him into bashful con- fessions of political valor and integrity. If the candidate have a military, or naval, scar, allusion will be made. If he have secret Snd family grief cal culated to excite the sympathies of par ties similarly. afflicted, delicate men ton will appear. In fact candidates can trust themselves fully and abso- lutely. Everything an active and in- telligent company can do will be done. In the boom proper part of the boom comes in the history of the candidate, cautiously seasoned with not too full some praise, wisely spiced with not too adulatory admiration. The company's s best writers are employed in the boom proper department. It is not necessary for the candidate to be immediately concerned with the compilation of the boom proper except so far as the fur nishing of the facts is concerned. The necessary harmonizing and ornamental Actions will be interspersed by the com panys imaginative and poetic assist ants. It might be better if the candi- date did not even see the boom proper; so that, if neophite, he may swear honestly that he knows nothing about it.
 The company has an understanding with the Connecticut branch of the So- ciety of Colonial Warriors for supply