Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-01-06

the man who has chosen her daughter
above all other women. The husbands
mother never really likes her sons wife.
And young wives are apt to forget how
bitterly hard IL is for a mother to give her
son up at once, and forever. to a girl whom
she does not like. in any way. Perhaps
hitherto the son and mother have been
everyone, and everything, to each other,
and II Is only human that the latter should
have to battle fiercely and constantly with
an involuntary jealousy, and a cruel quick
II Is only human that she should try to
make trouble and enjoy the fact that her
son Is less happy with his wife than he was
with her, and that he comes to her for COM
fort In his disappointment. The love of a
mother is often a very Jealous love; and a
jealous mother ls Just as unreasonable as
a jealous wife; she can make life bitterly
hard for her sons wife, and to do her
Justice. she very often does so. Then IL
the wife-wounded and imprudent-goes to
her own mother with her sorrows and
wrongs 1t Is the natural attitude of the
husband to shift the blame from his own
mother to his wife's mother. There are
indeed so many ways by which this misery
can enter household that it Is impossible
TO define them for there is just variety
enough In every case to give an individu-
ality of suffering to each.
What thnn is to be done? Let us admit
at orce that our relations do give us half
the pain and sorrow We suffer in life: but
each may do something TO reduce the liza
biiity. We may remember that all such
%
that quarrel springing from love Is more
hopeful than one springing from hate AS
mothers-ln-iaw, we may tell ourselves that
whea our children are married We No
longer have the first right i'm them The
young people must be left to make the
pest or their life. and we must never inter-
t . nor ever give advice. until it is asked
FOR Another irritation, little susnected 10
ne p&ipable forcing forward of the new re-
iatlonship On both sides it is we'll tn ha
m no nurry 10 claim 1t. A girl takes man
rors oe .e or for worse but does not there
husband does not include admiration ror
all within his kindred; nor will II nntil ~
Hnd mum makes all tempers perfect.
dragooned into filial feeling for his wife,
Isniiy. Many a man would like his new
relatives better If they left him With y
'@"'e VI periect freedom In the matter
The Duty of the Men.
The main point is that men sbou,a n,t :,
stop to a traditional abuse that 80
every woman in every household They en-
DO II! Many an honest, manly fellow
would burn with shame, II he would onlv
CONSIDER how often he has not onlv ner-
mitted, but also Joined in the silly. upilst
laughter which miserable punsters and
other incapables fling at the women ~ his
own household. For If a man is married
or ever hopes to be married his own mother
Is or must be a mother-in-law. II he mas
the same position. The fairest young bride
mas the prospect before her; the baby
daughter in the cradle may live to think
her own mother a bore. or to think some
other mother one, II there is not a better
understanding about a relationship which
Is far indeed from being a laughable one.
On the contrary. the Initiation to 1t is gen
orally sacrifice. made with infinite heart
ache and anxiety and with many sorrowful
tears.
In the theaters, in the little circles of
which every mans home is the center IN all
places where thoughtless fools turn women
and motherhood into ridicule, It Is in the
power of two or three good men to make
the habit derogatory and unfashionable
They can cease to laugh at the wretched
little jokes. and treat with contempt the
vulgar spirit that repeats them. For the
men who say bitter things about mothers
in-law are either selfish cyclists, who have
called trouble to themselves from this
source, OF they are moral imbeciles, repeat
ing like parrots fatuous jests. whose mean
ing and wickedness thew do not even I'M
derstand. AMELIA f. BARR.