The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-05-03
FOR KANsANs ONLY.


.ige rests wholly on his ability to take
down" public speaker, by contradietlng
him or perplexing him.
| No matter who the speaker is, he is sure
| Of an interruption. and NO matter how
adroitiy be parties the attack, Jim's towns
men are forever after satisfied that the
speaker was crushed by Jim's superior
| wit.
Lecturers and candidates are served
alike.
One of the former struck Jim's town
last week and was cautioned by friendly
hotel clerk TO beware OF Jim's lash.
The lecture came off aud the lecturer
was very guarded. So much so. In fact,
that the address was almost finished, and
Jim bad not found a weak point.
The audience looked at Jim in surprise
at this unusual forbearance, and Jim, in
fear of his reputation, squirmed uneasily
in his seat. He must find a flaw. He
did.
Ladies and gentlemen" the lecturer
began by way of peroration, fixed condi-
tons give way only to the gradual and i'm
perceptible advance of mentality in man.
Progress has no year or decade in its cal
endar-I may say no century. Rome
was not built in day, or"
Jim stood up. He pointed his long honey
finger AT the lecturer, and in tones of cut
ting irony cried out:
Hold on F."
The speaker paused.
Hold on What did you say ?"
Il ssid Rome was not built in n day :"
"Wait, ''cried Jim, 'Who said it was? ]"
"Why, didn't"
Il don't want any of your why's. You
say here that Rome wasn't built in a day.
Who said it w~s?"
you do not exactly comprehend my. +"
''Waitp' cried Jim, towering inches
higher as the crowd beamed upon him in
idolatry, ''the people of this town are in
tsligeut and educated. They will stand
no attacks from any jimcrow lecturer.
You lave intimated here tonight that
these ladies and gentlemen said that Rome
was built in day. l defy you to name
one mau who has said anything about
Rome here tonight, except yourself. You
have maliciously attacked this COM
munity. sir, and 1 brand you as fraud!'
And while the crowd cheered, the lee
turer grabbed his hat and jumped through
the rear window and fled the town.
you say" Cy Leland, the Warwick of
Kansas, is reported to have said to young
man who thought he had q Certainty in
the nomination for a state Office, you
have q cinch on this nomination."
''Yes, believe have"
Very good"
sAnd what 1 wanted to know, Mr.. Le-
land, is what l should do now"
81 would advise" said the Kansas War
wick, slowly, that you proceed to get
cinch on your ciDch."
Kansas may be civilized, but there are
great many men here who will have to
learn yet that cuspidors, as originally in
vented, were made to spit into and not at.
There is man in Newton who is said to
be so stingy that he does not enjoy joke
at his own expense.
Among politicians Governor Lewelling
is regarded as an expert produce dealer,
and among produce dealers he is thought
to be an expert politician.
The Kansas Democrat is no pessimist
He may be wearing a Democratic badge
on the seat Of his pants. but he will get
up in the middle of the night to hank
Cleveland that he still has the pants.
Very little Of any worth has been writ
ten about Kansas winds iu poetry. The
following poem in an eastern magazine is
by far the best that ever appeared:
Wind of the prairie you speak to me
With the SIRENS voice of the mighty sea.
You whisper and sigh in chant-like srells
Like the melodies locked in your pearly shells.
Your tempest tone is the clarion blast
That skaters the rigging and tears the mast:
You moan like the wall of long-lost soul
Ills the sea-nymph's spirit that mourns for
the roll
And the plash of the waters that used to flow
Out OF the West N the long ago.
Oh, prairie winds, you've a voice for me
Like the sirens voice of the mighty sea-
IT'S only an echo, like memory,
But hear il calling and calling away,
And long with yen for the sea today.