Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-08

A MAN Ia like Ras-jet The moro
he blows the less light he gives out.
Boston Transcript
In an autograph book: @Be con-
sistent. Never accept advice. Not
even this. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
@How DO you manage to live In
this dead tow n?" ~Fine; I'm the un-
dertaker. Atlanta Constitution.
SPEAK gently to the erring or you
won't get an invitation to the killing
of the fatted calf. --Elmira Gazette.
ToM-How old is your sister Mabel?
Ned-Her count, do you mean, or
our family Bible record?-Somerville
Journal
GENERALLY the more aimless .
boy is, the better he likes to run
around with q shotgun.
Republican.
ARTIsT-"Madam, it is not faces
alone that I paint; it is souls" Mad
am-"Oh, you do interiors them
New York Sun.
A NEW mixed drink is called q
business BRACE" but its practical
tendency Is more that of q business
suspender.
SHE-Before we were married you
used to call me an angel. He-And
now l wish you were one. Isn't that
Just as well?-Truth.
ONE reason why it is often difficult
\ to find ru 1away team Is that the
J horse usually takes the traces with
him II owell Courier
GAYsoN-"She answered me rather
shortly when asked her to be mine
Townson-"Indeed! How?" sGayson
-@She said yes. Truth.
LANDLADY-You haven't touched
your coffee, Mr.. Jones. Anythin 9
unusual the matter with 1t? Mr..
Jones-Well, yes; it's hot-Truth.
BUSINESS MAN-"And your nephew
has had trouble in his bank, they tell
me?" Aunt Sarah-@Yes, they've
appointed deceiver. "-Plaindealer.
AUNT-"Child, you certainly don't
call yourself dressed with your shout
ders all bare like that?" Nice-"Of
course not, auntie Gowned." -
Puck.
FoeG-Come, Figg, have smoke"
Figg-I'll die first. Fogg-Oh, well,
every man to his liking. I'll do my
smoking before l die. Boston Tran
script.
MRS. RUssELL-"Oh, Edward, you
should say palm, not PAM" Mr..
Russell-"Well, that being the case
will you please pass me the halm?"-
Truth.
money talks, remarked the bust
ness man who was ruefully contem-
plating lot Of idle capital; @but 1T
doesn't talk in its sleep. "-Washing-
ton Star.
"HARDUPPY tells me he never de-
stroys a receipted bill" @No; he's
more likely to have them framed and
hung up in his parlor as curiosities.
| It'd. Bits.
POSSIBLY the roped arena may rep
resent serious battle, but any girl
knows the kind of an engagement the
real prize ripg stands for.-Philadel-
phia Times
JACK-"I have confession to make,
and you shall be my priest. II love.
you" Jess-"I forgive you freely;
but-but priests don't marry, you
. know."-Puck.
BoY-Pa, the minister said to-day
we'd all have to be born again.
Father of eight-That means anoth-
er fortune for drinks and cigars,
suppose, Puck.
| ~DID you know Mrs. Plentirocks
has stained glass all through her new
house?" mo; but what pity! Can
she get anything to take it out?"-
Rochester Democrat.
"How DO you know she is plain
looking? You haven't seen her." II
wrote to her in praise Of her intel
lectuality, and she didn't get miffed."
Boston Transcript.
THERE is much mystifcation in
London over the expedition against
the Sofas, and the indications are
that somebody's been lying on them.
philadelphia Ledger.
MRS. Are there any good dry
goods advertisements in the paper
this morning? Mr.. ideally, I
don't know. / usually read the other
part. Journal.
"How Is Dykins getting along with
the farm he bought?" Pretty well.
He tells me he saved money on it last
year." "How?" @Rented it to an.
other man. WashinYt ton Star.
PAT-"Phat is the Metropolitan
Opera House hear so much about?"
Dennis-"It must be storage ware
house-for all them big millionaires
have their boxes up there. Truth.
Il SUPPOSE you have been shopping
all day again." said Mr.. Snaggs to his
wife at the supper table. @And I
suppose you have been bucketshop-
ping again, retorted she.-Pittsburg
| Chronicle. ~
MRS. RUsHER-Has Mr.. Goldcoin,
with whom you have been dancing
all the evening, at last declared his
intentions, Mabel? Mabel =, Yes,
aunt. Mrs. Rusher-I- am so glad!
And what did he say? Mabel-He
declared he would never marry. -
Vogue.
Mr.. BINKs (after an absence)-
And so you shot burglar while here
and unprotected. You are brave
little woman. What became of him?
Mrs. Binks-The other burglar car
II u"