The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-03-24


their last proceedings, with an essay
read by the member from Kalihi, APP
pears below. For some unknown
reason, a few of the club members
have supposed that the correspondent
referred to was the gentleman who
was here recently in the interests of
the Boston Transcript.
A meeting of the CocOanut Club
was held yesterday at Grove No. 8,
known as the George Washington
Grove. The trees OIL this place are
very tall, but the venerable President
OF the Club assembled one of them
with supernatural agility, and Sc
Iected some rare fruit, for which the
members drew lots. The member
from Manoa was publicly censured
aud degraded three degrees for failing
to artistically remove the husks from
a nut. The question was discussed
whether or. not women should be adj
mitted to- the Club.
The anthrOpologist of the Club an
nounoed that he had in preparation a
paper on the 'prehensile feet of the
members of the Club" but that he
was nov waiting to get photograph
oil those of the President.
The member from Waialua asked if
the Club would take any part in the
political campaign. The President
periaI Guard" of the L. @. 1t did not
90 to- the front at once, but tumbled
out whenever called 10y the bug es.
The President then introduced the
member from Kalihi, VINO delivered
the following essay:
"a LEPRoUs INCIDENT"
TN z.o....;o o1rrae,onJanf ~ nm
eastern newspaper, who recently re-
turned to the States, entertained
alarming opinions on the subject of
leprOsy. He became the victim of
too much confidential advice. In
order to protect himself against the
ravages of the disease, which he had
been confidenIially informed feeds
voraciously upon newspaper CORE
spondents, he developed his abnormal
ly large hands in equally a6normaiiy
large gloves, eSpec ally made for him
out of the skin of a mau-eating shark,
aud tanned w tn kukui oil and sui
phur. Believing that his fingers only
were vulnerable to the attacks of the
disease, he proceeded, after thus pro-
tectiDg them, to discharge the danger
GUS anu promiscuous duties of CORE
spondeut.
While attending a meeting of the
Social Science Society, he refused TO
discard the germ proof gloves, al
though he observed that they were
not worn by the reckless but learned
members of the society, who encoun-
ter microbes with the dauntless cour-
age of lion tanners.
Finding, from further confidential
communications, that leprosy attacks
other parts of the person than the
fingers, and that il is often communi-
Gated OH the streets, he abandoned the
highways and made his way through
the city by passing through back
yards and over rear fences.
He soon became suspicious of food
prepared by unknown hands, and re
fused TO eat any dishes but those
especially prepared. His favorite
menu was as follows:
Soup, carbolic cream of celery; fish,
q la carbOlina; entree, squads with
carbolic sauce; roast, turkey la chic
ride of lime; vegetables, potatoes and
taro a la sulpheure; dessert, caroolate
lozengers; wine. sulphuric acid.
On discovering that hotel he is were
omen TO a leprOus suspicion he slept,
suspended by his waist from the cell
ing, and took bath every morning,
i'm "A shower of q solution of sulphate
of copper. He finally abandoned the
food of the country, and consumed,
through glass tube, exclusively
liquid imported food carefully Kept III
cans.
ed that numbness of tine body was an
uufailing evidence of the disease, he
might be seen in Emma Square, sea-
Ell on one of the benches, listening 10
Berger's music, while he removed MS
shoes and stockings, anu Carefully
applied lighted matches TO his toes,
i'm order to- detect the fatal humOness
These experimental reese searches Were
often repeated in pubic. III is SAID
that at lunch party, given by a
noted lady, he discovered plmple on
his nose, and earnestly requested bis
hostess to permit him To sit on the
hot kitchen stove for moment, IN
order TO determine whether or not his
seusatiors were dead. While COM
posing correspondence Tor the aOIe
paper which he represented, he con-
stautIy applied a lighted cigar To his
ears. so that they became badly scar
red.
After exchanging several well FUN
ioated notes with the "Last Rose Of |
Monarchy" ne iuaugurated the ihrlil-
ing historical scene of an interview
with her, the August Person, VINO
yainly tried in January, 1898, To chino
the creased pole OF poiltlcal aosOlu-
tism. While in the act of extending
TO her his hand, encased in tue germ
proof sharks-skin glove, lie became
suddenly apprehensive of a distinct
numbness of feeling, in his foot, ana
humbly beseeched the Last Rose OF
Monarchy TO give HIM match,whlc
was graciously done, after being |
scratched by her upon supert1uous
axe, lying on cabinet, and win
which he applied the first test to his
toes.
He positively refused to visit the
volcano through fear of passing py
the dreaded island of Molokal- /
He finally consulted the celebrated /
DIR. Gofo, who quietly informed him
that Iepro~y usually had the deal