The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1894-02-05
TEACHING 4 csoW TO rALE.
A Expert Ters How Easily It r. Done, bot
warrs FoIks Against Dotne IT,

let TO the Fairchid II ouse Circle aud steward OF
the Hammondsport Try-to-Catc Black Bass
Club Will tell how Il Is dono2 Why GER
tainly. Iii easy. 1t Is easier than teaching
cells to suck eggs. and that is so easy that IL
could make six months contract with some
body TO pay me one dollar per eel per month
for every eel could give diploma to ns a
graduate in egg sucking. could retire from
business and have time to make the effort to
teach our club how to fish. although that
would be Job that wouldn't leave m time TO
do much OF anything else.
"Of course. when you start N 10 teach a
crow how TO talk you have to frat get your
crow. That is one reason why so many folks
who have made the attempt to teach crows
how to talk and failed declare that 1t can't be
done. They didn't first get their crow. They
always made the mistake OF laying for their
crow and shooting It. Now. there is no posi-
Bile use for any one to try to mako a dead crow
talk. l wouldn't attempt IL myself and IL II
could be done I could do II. You've got TO
have n 1.-Two crow. and the less time that crow
has been alive the better Yot It must be older
than its brothers and sisters ut that Maybe
you think that a little queer. but you wouldn't
II you were as well acquainted with crows as
l am.
Everybody knows. or ought to know. that
in every family OF crows there IL one that IL
ln0 DOSh lnls CEOW II always u H6 lelets no
plans all the cam paigns against corn fields
and runs things generally. It's the business
OF every old mother crow who Ia engaged in
Matching mischief for the future corn crop to
see to IL that this crow who Is to boss the brood
lie Matched first. and It Is a rare thing for ono
OF them to fail In her duty. II she should be so
careless OF her res possibility in this respect as
to hatch q member OF her own sex first. it
would go hard with her. The moment the
father OF that prospective brood discoveredfhis
violation Of the law OF crow primog eniture he
would rise in the might of his indigna-
tlon and spread to tho whole roost tho
news OF his wife's neglect OF her ma.
ternal duty. Then the colony would Mt
once take this outrage against the husband
as an unpardo able afrront to all. They would
swoop down on the offending matron and scat
ter her to tho winds limb. tooth. and feather.
Then the father OF tho headless brood would
dump tho nest on the ground. and go forth .
disgraced and childless wanderer from among
his fellows You have often seen solitary
crows winging their way aimlessy here and
there. never seeking tho company OF others.
and always croaking a hoarso and hopeless
cronk They are old he fellers. to whom err
ing wives have brought domestic ruin by
Matching the wrong crow nrst They are
doomed to DO forever lone wanderers OF the
sky. They have no future but the grave. so to
speak. Bu. how they can steal corn! Great
Hemock how they car steal corn!
Well. then, when you set out to teach
crow to talk. that iirst-born crow Is the one
you want to get. lts simple matter. All
nest. You'll End one in the top OF almost any
old tree that has height 10 it. The more space
top the more likely the tree will be to have
crows nest In 1t. Then YOU climn the tree.
em is easy I" tasm Gr%M his
IL. after you have climbed the treo and got
to the nest. you inl no eggs in II: IT'S IA
last year, nest. IL there are eggs in II. IT'S
this years nest. 80 you see there ought To be
no trouble for even the most inexperienced to
tell them apart. But il may be imi ortant for
you to know that last years crows nest
won't help you along a bit toward tetchinga
the top Of your tree. don't waste your time
with 1t. but come down and exercise around
until you discover this years nest. The1
Iiyou have started In at the proper season
to teach a crow to talk You will find that none
Of the eggs in your nest Is Matched. Now
the crows course OF instruction. You must
every day and CLINT your tree and take a look
into the nest. That fret crow Is liable to come
be DAY late you would lind several OF his
brothers and sisters out. too. While. meta
pggrr HEAD than any Of The brood that ioiow
him from the egg. his head isn't a bit bigger
by actual measurement. 30 y you get TO your
you are teaching how to talk, and you will
have to leave him TO grow up in ignorance Of
the rare beauties Of the EnRish language as 1t
is usually slung around in old Steuben.
Thus you see the Importance Of keeping
your eve on that nest. Arriving at the oppor-
tune moment. you will know at once whether
the now born crow in the nest Is constructed
or lines that would warrant you in naming IT
Bill. or whether II Is 20 built that you would
violate no proprety OF sex y you called 1t sally
Ann. u the former yop will see. az you APP
proach your tree. the father ana mother VI the
iirstling sitting ON u dead limb side 10y side.
receiving the louu and hearty congratu lations
0 - IL fnRU
you will see the mother OF that newborn crow
in pI ocess OF disintegration at the beaks and
claws Of her dlshonorei spouse and outraged
Satisfied that the first born OF the mes. Is IA
snSH E G yGs E% sns Sn saa s' II Gs
as u teacher lf you are not, YOU will not get
the CROW; The only thing you WI get IN tnat t
like couDle OF hundred crows jumping on
you and feeling around for your eyes and
your hair: l have found revolver about
talk a loaded revolver that viii 20 oil
when yOu want IL to-. AZ You climb toward
viii Come down at You ike winged pile driv.
srs. In the interests Of education you shoot
them II IS not likely that any OF the rest OF
but they will sit around and use language
about you which. II You were acquainted with
you were really there or candidate for office
down IN ChemunG county. When you get to
that YOU will think the bottom has suddenly
dropped out OF II; but that isnt tho opening
that confrObts you. Ii is the baby crows
mouth. \ newborn crows mouth opens clear
back to the hinges OF it's thigh bones In fact
but for tho wisdom OF nature that provides
for those homes at the stern post Of
freshly Matched crow. the crow would DO born
in halves There is nothing that opens so far
back on itself as a new crow except an oyster.
So don't DO scared and think that all Is lost
when you see that cavity. Your cAllOw bird
has not looked as lar ahead as language yet.
Its blsecttOnA greeting OF you means hunger
You will lind as you proceed In your campaign
OF education with this bird that his latch string
l. always out to YIctuals. and no wants some
now so the thing for YOU TO do Is TO take him
home and give him some. Toss his incomplete
brethren away and take your crow home in the
nest You viii need IL to bring him M in.
Having got along as far as this in teaching
4 crow how 10 tAlE. YOU look around and see
how much corn meal YOU have In stock. II you
Invent quite l0-, and don't want 10 borrow
all your negh5ors have. You had better send
10 the feed store and get IN "A comfortable sup
ply. Name your llTd as soon as you get him
hume, ana every time YOU feed him his meal
call him by II. and as this 10 virtually drum
ming 4 into his ears all ths time. lac will know