The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-04-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


woodshed. Truth.
A man who drives away customers
The cabman. Texas Siftings.
The reasons of the talkative mortal
are mostly sound. Dallas News.
Revised Proverb: One mans mas
cot Is another mans hoodoo. Truth.
An egotist is man with a prepon-
derance of 1 in his constitution.
Puck.
A broken engagement is, perhaps, in
other words, only drawn battle
Puck.
clearinghouse coffee is sometimes
like the quality of mercy; it is not
strained. Truth.
A woman can usually keep in the
fashionable swim if she has a duck
of bonnet Puck.
If "bread is the staff of life" t is
plain that bread-and-butter's a gold
headed cane.-Pucb.
First Actor-"What are you doing
now?" Second Actor-''Me friends.
Detroit Pree Press.
Cleanliness may be next to godli-
ness; but it takes lots of advertising
to make soap go.-Puck
The times are becoming so hard that
with many swells the tally-ho has to
give way to the trolley-ho. Puck.
1t is a humanlike trait that the
rooster always thinks he knows most
about cackling. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Business is business, unless the GUS
toner happens to be lady, in which
case it becomes strategy. y.-On City
Blizzard.
Forbearance generally ceases to be
virtue about the time it begins to
pinch the party of the first part-Mil-
waukee Journal.
Every man has his opinions, but in
many instances he picked them up
where somebody else dropped them. L.
Galveston News.
Man has been so cruel to woman
that it is certainly remarkable that he
has never boned her for his rib
Galveston News
If a woman wants q welcome when
she gets home she should leave her
husband with the baby when she goes.
-Atchison Globe.
Waiter-"De usual steak, sah?"
Regular Customer-"No, L am tired
tonight. Bring me plate of hash, "
Indianapolis Journal. ------
The most radical unbeliever in
superstition is apt to find putting an
other mans name to bank check n
sure sign of trouble. Buffalo Courier.
Judge-"Why did you commit
second theft after you had just been
acquitted of first charger" Prisoner
$50 that l could pay my lawyer. -
Halo.
Bildad-"Did the editor send that
joke back to you?" Shuhite--"Yes.
Bildad--''That's funny" Shuhite-
"The editor said it wasn't Detroit
Free Press.
eyes, sir, money talks; that is cor
tain. Biggs-"W well, then, I'd like
to hear little something from that
SO that you have of mine. Chicago
InterOcean.
Professor How long should a
mans legs be to be in proportion TO
his body?" Mr. Lowstsnd Long
enough to reach the ground, sir -
Yale Record.
One of the queer things about ju
venlle humanity is the fact that the
hoy who has the measels Is invariably
the one whose society is most coveted.
Washington Star.
A Reminder: Portor-"Dear Herr
Baron, would you be 80 kind as 10 put
it down in writing that you haven't
given me tip this time, else my wife
will think I've gone and spent it. -
Remscheider General-Anzeiger.
Jillson says that with all due respect
for the old proverb, when the average
servant girl gets through with pieeo
of valuable bric-a-brac it is generally
too late TO mend. Buffalo Courier.
What "a beautiful thing is thought, said she
boon Il Is TO myself aud Jim.
/ slt and think he is thinking OF mo
Aud he sits and thinks 1 am thinking Of
him.
New York Press.
81 see You don't carry your beauti-
ful gold-headed cane any more.
"No; I'm reducing my running ex-
penses. "How is that?' The tips
come higher TO the walters, New
York Herald
"See here, said the citizen, as he
put "a stubby finger down on copy Of
the paper. 'dis here item says dat I
got a contract workin' for de State.
"Well, said the editor, "we under
stood that You had been awarded a
carting contract % so l has, and l
want you TO say 50 in de mex paper
DE way 1t come out, wid0ut sayin' wot
de coutrsc was, about hall me irien' 8
will tink been sent 10 DE pen. ~