The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-10
PUNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

ARE You certain that you love
nns?" II am" but are you sure that
YOU are certain?'-N. Y. Press.
-.sWill you marry me?" II am al.
ready engaged to four men," But you
can only marry one, you know. Let
me be the one. B ston Beacon.
-Mullins-ssTime waits for no man.
Gullins-''Sometimes it does. l have
watch waiting for ms at my pawnbro-
ker's."-Syracuse Post.
1T is hard to settle questions
And it's hard to settle wills;
And hard to settle household goods;
But hardest to settle bills .sz..,
Though far away, though ruthless
time have scattered memory's dream;
some scenes can ne'er decay, but rest
where all is change, like islands In
dream.-Thonas Dryden.
-Herdso-"Why didn't you defend
your wife's suit for divorce?" Saidso-
81 had known for years that what she
said was law...'-St. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
-She-"Why do they have favorites
in horse raccs?" Her to show peo-
pie what blanked chumps they were
for not playing the outsiders. "-Buffaio
Courier.
-...Nell-"What makes you think
your new suitor is entirely too honest?'
Belle-s.Because he wouldn't even steal
a kiss."-N. Y. Morning Journal.
-'sTabbs tells me he's been making
a number OF improvements about his
home recently" "Yes, l noticed he's
sold the piano and lawn mower. I'm
ter Ocean.
-"What does it mean when prince
| gives a ballet-dancer diamond neck
lace?" SIT probably means that he has
| married an American heiress. Pick
Me-Up.
| Mrs. Hiland-"I don't like to see
| girls throw kisses. 1t is so immodest.
MIR. Hiland-"Yes; and then they are
usually such poor marksmen. Pitts
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
-.Tunkins never leaves the game
empty handed" said one poker player
''That's So" replied another Every
time 1 called him last night he had
full d."-Washington Star.
-ssThey say Sphoftley was badly bi
by that handsome Miss Phlirtem TIT
other night" "rm not surprised.
saw her throw her eyes at him severa
imes."-Buffalo Courier.
Shetland is the hair dye as dan
gerous as the doctors say?" He-"Ever.
bit. An uncle of mine once dyed hi
hair, and three weeks after he marrie'
widow with four children. File
gende Batter.
-''Could you use a little poem o
miner" asked the poet. 81 guess
could" replied the editor. There ar
two broken panes of glass, and hol
in the skylight. How large is it?'-
Atlanta Constitution.
Weary Watkins-''What do 20
think of thata This here paper say
that you oughtn't to eat when you ar
tired" Hungry Higgins-'I think
is scheme put up to starve us Teller
to death. "-Indianapolis Journal
, --Laura-sMamma,w when asked Nj
: Goodcatch to button my glove Las
; night his hand trembled so that it too
r him a minute or two. wonder If he
in love?" Mrs. Figg-'I don't know
Perhaps he may have been out late tn
: night before indianapolis Journa
{ -He-"The landlord says we must a
D come to the mountains again ne,
q year. She-''But 1 should have
r break all my other engagements 3
s YOU'D do that for me, wouldn't you.
|. She-"O, but this is awfully sudden" v
: Scribner's.
"A doctor who was passionately for
+ of cards was called to the bedside of
4 patient. He pulled out his watch, fe
q the sick mans pulse and began
: count: "Seven, eight, nine, ten. JAG
queen, king, ace" The patient imm
diately burst out laughing and g
!. well again.-L'Echo du Nord.