The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-05-13
TOLD AL WE NEWS.
A Cheerful Reception on Coming
BncIS to the Old Town.

There is always some good old fellow in
every remote country town who ought 10
be called the chronicler of deaths and
disaster. He has lived in the town for
forty or fifty years, may be-; and while
he retains very hazy recollection of the
| pleasant things that have happened. he
can tell YOU the unpleasant things with
Photographic accuracy. A resident of New
York recently visited his native village
Slowtown we call It. because that isn't its
name-after an absence of about twenty
years, and met one OF those old fellows
who had been one of his boy companions,
but Who was now known as "Old Billy.
We'll, Billy he said after mutual greet
lngs, Il suppose you can tell me all about
everybody. We will begin with old Mig
giles, whose orchard we used to rob.
suppose he dead and gone long ago
Nussern that, said Billy. lie fell
down lN-foot we'll, and the well was so
narrer that they couldn't get his body out
nohow. So they Jest put a big stone over
the we'll and erected MONUMENT with the
words of scripter engraved on it. AIS
we'll that ends we'll 1t was a leetle I'M
convenient TO have the grave so nigh the
mouse. but it wasn't nigh it very, long
ny, how was that" oh the house
burned down in two weeks, just the day
arter the insurance run out. The Widder
N!lggles, she took on wuss about the iire
than about the old man; but she soon had
something more than fire to think of"
What was that?' ''She got married
again; Teller named Stackpole Come from
him. and then. sellin it for half its valley
in cash. he run away. And did she
never hear of him?"
"Oh, yes; two years arter Teller called
on her in the poorhouse. where she was
and told her that Josh had been strung
up by committee for stealth horses.
thing he had, a lock of his hair as a
souveneer;' We'll. well! How things do
happen when you have d place. Now tell
me ABOUT Jack Holbrook, who used TO
= III in col al
! On, he came to a bad end said Billy.
as ne picked up a straw and began chew
ing 1t. Married a wilder with five chill
dIen; two of 'em twins. Pretty soon after
ward ne came into fine house and farm
! by the death of his father and the wilder
ms ms w, wife, you know, was kind O. mes
Jay; ana got him in a trance like. and
made him sign a deed of the property to
I her; when he woke up she told him the
kick she mesmerized him some more.
dehbe you don't believe it but she has
peen mesmerizin' him for twenty years.
now; Al she has got to do is jiggle her
hands at him a few times, and he is as
helpless as a baby"
WY Wy, Bi BY haven't you anything to tell
though HI wheelockmySo3u rememb btii
INFUSED to be sweet on your gal, you
knoW-well: ne got rich. in the grain and
! produce business and, when he had nore'n
/ he knew what to do with. he doubled his
pile in the new railroad. That's his house
you see there or the hill; purity slightly
place, and cost a heap of money, too
{ But, Lord bless you, he's had trouble too
Had boy he thought a deal on. Sent
him to college, and then wanted him to 20
! 70 a theological cemetery or some sech
thlng. But Harry wasn't built that way.
Thought he'd go into politics an now he s
the biggest drunkard in the country Say.
Xcu re not goin', are ye? If you'd stay
| q tell you how Susie Clayton married 2
travelin' Snowman, ar how Billy Haydock
Went out west and came back in three
years with only one sock an a second
up the year arter he opened up his NEE
tropolitan cash store, and how the Gran
ger boys got sent to prison for stealth
ana an now Old Squire Burton lost 300 sheep
Rut the visitor fled in search of an op-
ti Lit from whom he might hear some
thlng cheerful about the Old town.