St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-04-01
SHARPS AND FLATS.


proud parent OF one of the most prom
ising scholars. Talk about Emusic hay-
ing charm to sootIie the savage bcast.n
some or the duets to which | was com
PEELED to listen last week would drive
the average bull dog to suicide. Heav-
emily joys seemed very questionable as
| listened to those songs and remembered
that one of the chief recommendations
or heaven is that it is always full of
music. A wicked desire nearly over
| came me TO run out and do something
wicked enough to secure myself Il safe
berth in place where. | understand,
music is shriveled up before it is ut
tered. A harp out of tune must jar the
celestial nerves terribly.
| IS
| saw more music than heard at that
recital. Ii the eXpectanJ look worn by
most of the audience can be depended
on. L imagine they expected to hear
something every minute. but they were
mostly disappointed. First appeared a
corn-colored angel, who was enthusi-
asticaliy greeted by her admiring
friends, and in truth she was very nice
to look at, but alas! that was all. She
went through some peculiar. grotesque
movements. which reminded me of ST.
Nitus' dance, and trembling cackIe
reached me: then when the spasm be-
came less violent, she made self-satis-
led bow, and departed, much to our
| relief From the comments of her
friends in my vicinity l could not doubt
but that she had been singing. made
the fortunate mistake of sitting five
| rows back from the stage. The distance
may account for the oppressive silence
which hung gloomily over my neighbor-
hood while the next pupil distinguished
herself. Then appeared third young
woman, and then, oh, then. how l
wished had been content with a seat
In the back row, or perhaps Oil the
curbstone across the street. Oh,
We desecrated shade of Wagner,
there was no lack of noise this time. 1t
sounded so much like hand organ that
L involuntarily looked for the little girl
collecting pennies In lin cup. | fee
sure her lungs were iron-cast and brass
lined. Her admiring parents sat next
to me, and was compelled to try and
look as if l enjoyed it. When she
would letout particularly telling strain
L would cling tightly to the arms of my
chair. close my eyes and inaudibly
murmur, How long, oh! Lord, how
long" Some of those waves of melody
were so strong that / feared | would be
carried on the crest of one right through
the roof had feeling that my smile
was such a noticeably poor attempt that
| some one would think | was faint and
pour water on me. But l have since
thought that my true vocation was the
stage, for the fond mother of that up
roarious daughter told me she could see
that was quite carried away by VIC
let's singing" and oh! horrors, proposed
to bring her down to sing for me. Now,
my house is not only very small, but is
Il rented house, and what would | ever
do with that voice in my apartmentso
who would pay for broken windows
and cracked plastering?
| Next came duet, or rather two solos
sung simultaneously. Neither perform
| er seemed to be at all interested in
what the other one was doing, but fol-
lowed the uneven tenor-and Soprano
of their different ways. He showed a
little more speed than she could boast
OF and consequently came out few
lines ahead; but he also showed his
| native American courtesy by kindly
waiting for her to catch up at the end
of each verse. At the last verse she
made courageous and ear-splitting
squirt and managed to come out only
one line behind. l realize that am
unkind. but l really could not help
wishing that ''they two had gone May
| ing" and forgotten to return in time for
this exhibition. A quartette then man.
aged to irrevocably mix up familiar
| air while informing us that they ''could
| not sing the old songs" for which we
were most devoutly thankful, but TOO
! polite to publicly offer our thanks.
! Their encore selection was short: we
tried TO show our appreciation of this
thoughtfulness by deluging them with
| applause, but our intentions were mis-
construed, and they favored US with
another verse. After that kept nv
gloves whole and submitted to the in
evitable. Another thing l disliked
about that quartette. they nut most of
the work on 4 delicate-looking girl clad
in white gown trimmed with gold
braid and spectacles. l thought it most
unkind to stop abruptly and leave her
screening quite unsupported, but she
| must have been used to it. and even re.
peated the same line several times to
give the others chance to regain their
breath. Then out tripped my friends
daughter and burst forth into what
supposed was solemn high mass in O
minor, but imagine my chagrin when I
| afterwards learned it was Hungarian
love song, composed by an Italian and
sung in German. AS an acrobatic feat
| it was tremendous and wonderful to
behold.
1t was over! With head bursting
with aches. but heart bursting with
relief, wendell my way homeward, ex-
pecting period of well-earned rest.
When / got home | was almost moved
to give way 10 my grief in tears, for |
found that the singers quartette were
having an enthusiastic meeting in the
next apartment. and the banjo and
French horns were practicing above us.
Sitting between these noises, wondered
how dog show and poultry exhibit
combined would sound. [ will wager
that the second tenor had swallowed a
trombone and forgotten TO tune it before
| it disappeared, while the voice of the
first tenor tinkled above the rest like
the bell on solitary William goat.
| This pandemonium reigued until mid
| night, the only intervals being when
the singers would stop to congratulate
| themselves upon their success. and each
| one would begin to hum what he con-
sidered his masterpiece. can appre-
ciate the dulcet music of a cable gong
or the delicate rhythm Of sleeping car
at IL. but deliver me from classical
music until have served an apprentice
ship in boiler shop.
E, HATCH REICHERT.