Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-08-09
PlTH AND PoINr.

| Only stupid people complain Of
hard work. Smart people never over.
work themselves.
-'sMr. Younghusband took gentle
man home to dinner last night" He
seems so mild 1 didn't suppose there
was any person living he hated to that
degree"
| -She-ssDo you think that money
takes the place Of wife?" He Cook
| ing over some bi1ls)-ssNo, but I know
that a wife takes the place of money"
Detroit Free Press.
lis it true that Mrs. Strongmind
was expelled from the Advanced Wom-
ems club?" ''Yep. She was found
| guilty of ungentlemanly conduct. -
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Hicks-'sAre you sure that
you married me for myself alone?"
| Hicks-''Of course. Having your moth
er to live with us was not strictly an
idea of mine. Harlem Life.
The man that kicks his daughters
lover down three flights of stairs, sends
her to bed with a scolding, and then
turns off the gas, should be sent to
prison for contempt of coart.-Texas
Siftings.
but, my good man, sheep-shear-
ing requires AMMAN who is used to the
shears" ''Well, that's all right have
been engaged for three years in prepar.
ing editorials for an Oshkosh weekly
Once Week.
-Nurse-"Loolz here, Sammy, you
must leave baby alone. Look at hertz
Elder Brother-''I didn't do nothin'.
Jist fetched her nose wifi dis straw, an
she went off like a fire-cracker."-H
per's Young People.
oh. Those Misunderstanding
was Miss Smith dressed?' Matte
''Oh, she had on the plainest clothes
you ever did see." Clara-''They must
have matched her face perfectly
Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. McPhiz-''Tell me, doctor, is
there any danger of becoming insane
by using complexion bleaches?" DIR.
B1unt-''Not at all. When woman
begins to use them she is about as crazy
as it is ever possible for her to be-
Boston Transcript.
-Briggs-"Here comes the under.
taker who lived in the next block tc
me. Let's cross over" Griggs-"What's
the matter?" Briggs-''The last time
1 was sick the doctor told him
couldn't live. and 1 hate to hurt his
feelings. "-Brooklyn Life.
"A Discovery
When Washer grew pale and his eyes became
And the doctor his people decided to call
Said cigarette heart was the matter with
him.
Twas the first time they knew he had any AZ
N. Y. Press.
The Ideal Spot - Cobwigger-
'Where are you going to build your
new summer health resort?" DIR. Kill
shutdown in that place where was
shooting last fall where mistook the
mosquitoes for snipe, and where the
malaria kills spring poets and book
agents"
Why He Changed.-Greene-Ga Gates
81 see you have changed your paper"
Halsey Hutnam-''Yes, 1 had to for
economy's sake; when the folks got
through cutting the coupons out of the
Giftfake there was nothing left for
the girl to make the kitchen fire with
Brooklyn Eagle.
Mrs. Uptodate (feelingly)-"Yes,
my dear, six months after we were mar.
ried Jack and made up our minds that
we weren't bit suited for each other:
SO, like sensible people, we faced the
inevitable. Jack lets me go my way,
and -" Miss Verdant Sympathetic
ally)-''And you let him go his way,
suppose?" Mrs. Uptodate indignantly
-"Good gracious, my dear! should
just like to see him try t."-Demorest's
Magazine.