davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
JOHN BULLS RUMOR.
It Is of the Fat Witted kind-yVllat Amer
leans Think of 1t.

It Is of the Fat Witted kind-What Amer
leans Think of 1t.
Hawthorne, observing Englishmen in
England, speaks Of them as "heavy
witted.'' Emerson alludes to their
Saving stupidity" Howells has intro
duced to us some typical specimens of
English responsibility and rank baff1ed
in their chase after American humor,
but on the scent. and arriving at the
point of appreciation after considerable
silent thought, sometimes lasting into
the next day, and here is the testimony
of Lowell from his recently published
Letters. - In letter written in 1889
from England to Professor Norton he
thus explains the warm reception given
to Buffalo Bill by London society:
''But I think the true key to this
eagerness for lons-even of the poodle
SORTS the dullness Of the average
English mind. never come back here
without being struck with it. Henry
James said it always stupefied him at
first when he came back from the con-
tinent. What it Graves beyond every
thing is sensation, anything that will
serve as Worcestershire sauce to its
sluggish palate. We, of finer and more
touchy fiber, get our sensations cheaper
and do not find WORDSWORTH emotion
over common flower so very wonder
full. People are dull enough on our side
Of the ocean stream also, God wot, but
here unless I know my people I never
dare to let my mind gambol. Most of
them, if ever do, look on like the ia
nous deaf man at the dancers, wonder
ing to what music am capering. They
call us superficial. Let Us thank God,
dear Charles, that our nerves are nearer
the surface, not so deeply embedded in
fat or muscle that wit must take a pitch
fork to US. ''-OutloOk.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
One of the Unknown Quantities.

There are many persons who talk very
learnedly about electricity and seem
to fancy that they have found out all
about it that is worth knowing. In the
face Of ideas of this sort comes on an
accident without precedent indeed, one
that under ordinary circumstances
would be counted impossible. A work
man in oiling the machinery of small
electric fan-one used merely for the
purpose Of cooling the air in business
house-accidentally touched the wire
and was instantly killed. The current
that runs the fan is said to have scarce
~ power enough to give gentle shock
when touched. An electrician who has
recently been making some important
experiments has demonstrated that by
using electricity in certain way 50
times the current usually employed for
executing criminals may be passed
through the human body without inju-
ry. Is it not possible, then, that very
weak currents under certain conditions
may possess power hitherto unsupported?
New York Ledger.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
A n5Unlucky'Shot.

ST am not very good shot, . said r.
B. Coleman, land this fact gave me a
great deal Of trouble at one time. Dor
rowed valuable dog from friend and
went hunting. The animal became rat
tied when he found that 1 knew moth
ing about. hunting. Rabbit after rabbit
was started up, and I missed them as
fast as they came. Finally the dog grew
tired and concluded to catch them on
his own hook He soon started another,
and as it jumped the dog jumped after
it just as I fired, The shot went into the
head of the dog, and he died without q
groan. The rabbit ran short distance
and then stopped and looked back, as if
to mock me. OF course paid for the
dog, but my friend has never forgiven
me, and have not gone hunting since. !"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
Ideal and Real.

81 love all that is beautiful in art
and nature, = she was saying to her as-
thetic admirer. II revel in the green
fields, the babbling brooks and the little
wayside flowers. feast on the beauties
Of earth and sky and air. They are my
daily life and food and
tMaudiep' cried ont the mother from
the kitchen, not knowing that her daugh-
ter's beau was in the parlor. sMaudie,
whatever made you go and eat that big
dish Of potatoes that was left over from
dinner? / told you we wanted them
warmed up for supper. ! declare if your
appetite isn't enough to bankrupt your
pa. London Tit Bits.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
A Bottle stopper.

IF you want a stopper for a bottle Of
acid or any substance that would natu-
rally call for a glass stopper because Of
the danger that the cork would be eaten
up by the contents Of the bottle, take
the cork and steep it in vaseline. It
will then be impervious to acids Of any
kind, and no action Of chemicals will
decay it. It will, in fact, be as good for
all purposes as q glass stopper. New
York Dispatch.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
Cost of Electric Cooking.

It has been shown by recent expert
ments that there is practically no differ
ence in cost between cooking by cleo
tricity and by coal, while the advan-
tages of the former method in point Of
comfort, cleanliness and safety are con-
siderable. OF every 100 tons Of coal
burned in an ordinary cooking stove SO
tons are, it is said, practically wasted,
whereas with electricity the expense is
not SO much on the fuel as on labor and
interest on Observation-Disclosures.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
Ber1iOz.

Berlioz was made miserable by his
wife He married Miss Smithson, an
actress many years younger than him
self She had prolonged fits Of jealousy
and i'll temper, ruined him by her the
atrical ventures and finally fell from q
carriage aud broke her leg, thus ending
her in patience until she finally left
him. He was . tall man. Of stern aspect
and very dignified Ia spite Of his inn
mense musical abilities as composer,
he could play no inst ument except the
guitar. and that very badly st Louis
Globe Democrat
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29


~ &C. = Y 4 NJ ,ss.; -,
Froa Dedge CITY g saata II.
81 The man, who told tho story between
the puts of his cigar W. from Texas. i
Clay Allison q life VIA tragic TO
mance, " he began. Clay Allison was
s. desperate. He lived IN the Red river
country in the Panhandle. His trigger
finger was busiest in the early eighties
His record was 81. He boasted Of it,
Twenty-one dead men. whose graves
were scattered from Dodge City to Sam
to Eel myself saw him kill Bill
Chunk. q bad man, who shot people Just
for the fun Of seeing them fall. The two
men had no cause for quarrel. They
were the prize killers Of the same sec
ton Of the country. It was q spirit Of
rivalry which made them swear to
shoot each other on sight. Their friends
bet on the result Of their first chance
rencounter. They met one night at q
crossroad inn in New Mexico and sat
down at tables opposite each other, with
their drawn six shooters resting on their
laps beneath their napkins A plate of
oysters on the shell had just been set
before Chunk, when he dropped his
hand in careless fashion and sent ball
at Allison beneath the table. Quick as
leap Of lightning Allison's gun re-
piled. A tiny red spot between Chunk s
eyes marked where the bullet entered.
The dead man rolled over on the table
and was still, with his face downward
in the dish of oysters. T.
"Allision was large cattle owner.
He went on a drive to Kansas City
once, and while there fell in love, mar
ried and took the woman to his home in
the west to live. A child was born to
them-a child whose face was as beau
tiful as the face of cherub, but whose
poor little body was horribly deformed
Allison loved the child with the great
love Of his passionate nature. In the
babes twisted and misshapen form his
superstitious mind read a meaning as
significant as that of the message which
the divine hand wrote Oh the palace Of
the king Of old in Babylon. God, he
thought, had visited a curse upon him
for his sins. He quit his wild ways
He drank no more. No man ever after
the birth Of his child fell before his
deadly pistols. He was completely
changed. ~
I'm the new life which followed he
devoted himself with absorbing energy
to his business interests. He became
rich in time. Ten thousand cattle OF,
the Texas ranges bore his brand. A few
years ago he was driving from his ranch
in a heavy road wagon to- town. The
front wheels jolted down into deep
rut. Allison was pitched headfore-
most to the ground. His neck was bro.
ken. The team logged on into the dis
lance and left him lying there dead and
alone upon the prairie. kansas City
Times ,- &,
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
LIVELY EIGHT WITH Is sl1AEslse r.
!. w It

LIVELY AlcHT WITH q SHARK y
~ W 81 Z ,ssssgssSs' ~
Il - : 1l.n Who Vs. isAine. 80,
William Mullss. 81 - tne5 " peni,
Don.. Tex, had ID I experience WITH :
man eating shark at Hnckpqgt In the
gulf IT hired = small 1Slhcet, = said
Mr. Muller in relating his unpleasant
exp ienod lnt some distance
from land when i bSSitsd. my, hook and
castft out I used . new clothesline 100
to 80 feet long Tor . cord, and the hook
vas quite large. probably six to seven
Achess long.
II felta jerk, and in an instant tho
line was under the boats rudder. / ask
ed the boatman to reverse the sail in or
der that the line could be cleared. I
was oblivious to all except the big fish,
and as the boom swung around it caught
me on the back between the shoulders
was tumbled overheard head foremost
in the water, some 40 to so feet deep AS
struck the water the fish that I had
caught, man eating shark, laid hold
of the calf Of my right leg. The pain
was fearful, and felt myself jerked
rapidly down toward the bottom Of the
sea. Hz." .@s
''In my fall did not relax my hold
on the line, and as soon as realized my
position l knew that my life depended
on my ability to hold on to the cord.
The struggle know was not long, but
to me, it seemed like an age. The cord
was fastened to beam in the boat, and
inch by inch gained on my antagonist,
and as soon as appeared on the surface
the boatman came to my assistance. The
shark retained it's grip on my leg until
my body was entirely out of the water,
and even then it did not let go until
the boatman knocked it off with an oar
When was safely on the inside, how
ever, we pulled for the shore, and as
my hook was securely fastened in the
mouth Of the shark no trouble was ex-
perienced in landing the fish. It was
between 5 and 6 feet long. Chicago
Post.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29

He Seemed Is Live II 3 Ctrelsand
Went ASet Wfth No -.
IN reply to tbs question 81 what en-
gagements 10 considered himself g
have BEEN In the greatest danger az los-
ing his life Napol con once said, In
the commencement of my campaigns. .
Indeed il further proof were demanded
to show that he did not spare himself
at Toulon it is only necessary to add
that, during the 10 weeks Of its siege,
Napoleon, in addition to q bayonet
sound in his thigh, had three horses
shot under him, while at the siege Of
Acre during the expedition to Egypt he
Lost no fewer than four in the same
manner.
During the last days of his life, when
captivity, disappointment and sickness
had well nigh completed their work, it
is said that the agony of his fatal dis
ease drew from him on many occasions
the pitiful cry of, ''Why did the cannon
balls spare me?''
During his long military career Ma
poleon fought 60 battles, while Caesar
fought but 30. In the early part of his
career he was utterly reckless of danger
while on the battlefield, and this spirit
Of fearlessness contributed largely to
the love and esteem in which he was
held by his armies. There was curious
belief among the English in Napoleon s
time that he had never been wounded,
and indeed the report was current that
he carefully, if not in cowardly man
ner, refrained from exposing himself.
Nothing could be more contrary to the
truth, for he was in reality several
times severely wounded, but as he wish
ed to impress upon his troops the belief
that good fortune never deserted him.
and that, like Achilles, he was well
nigh invulnerable he always made a
secret of his many dangers. He there
fore enjoined once for all upon the part
Of his Immediate staff the most absolute
silence regarding all circumstances of
this nature, for it is almost impossible
to calculate the confusion and disorder
which would have resulted from the
slightest report Or the smallest doubt
relative to his existence. Upon the sin
gle thread of this mans life depended
not only the fate and government Of a
great empire, but the whole policy and
destiny of Europe as well.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
Two Points of view.

Wife-How people gaze at my new
dress! I presume they wonder if I've
been shopping in Paris.
Husband More likely they wonder
il I have been robbing bank
Tit Bits.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29
gH4.i
Proof

How do you know, then, that the
young poet has an income apart from
his profession?' asked the landlady's
daughter.
Because, 2 was the confident reply.
"he pays his rent regularly = - ondon
Culver.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29

The coolest day ever known in Eng
land was Dec. %. 796, when the mer-
curry stood 16 degrees below zero in 8
Fahrenheit THERMOMETERS. We would
Gall that fine winter weather II Amer
Iica ls
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1894-08-29

The only remains Of the splendid
French possessions in India are i've
towns
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16
Mystery of the oyster Bed.

One of the greatest natural curiosi-
ties in the world is the Texas oyster
bed. This bed extends across the en-
tire state from south to north. and has
lain long enough to become stratified.
The shells are soft when first taken
out, but harden upon exposure to the
atmosphere. At Henrietta, in the pam
handle, number of beautiful build
ings have been constructed of this
material. At Weatherford and San
Antonio shell roads have been made.
The oysters embraced several species
long since extinct, and while geOlogists
agree that Texas must at one time
have been at the bottom of the Gulf Of
Mexico, they are at a loss to account
for the presence of this oyster bank,
there being none found east or west Of
the strata.-Cincinnati Inquirer.
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

A VOLUME of hitherto uncollected
papers by the late Walter Pater will
bear the name Greek Studies.''
HER many friends and admirers will
read with genuine sorrow of the afflic-
tion which has come to Mrs. Oliphant
in the death of her only surviving son.
IT is announced that Signora Teresa
Comzio, Garibaldi's daughter, is en-
gagged upon the life of her father. II
will be entitled La Vita Intima d;
Garibaldi."
Mr. FRANK HARRIS has retired from
the editorship Of the Fortnightly.
His successor will be Mr.. w. L. Court.
ney, formerly editor of Murrays
Magazine.
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16
=. -, ana pif1s-o"s- pfsE-oa
e total abstainers from alcohol.

are total abstainers from alcohol.
ssMr. Brassey found that barrow men
who avoided alcohol could do as much
Sye1;IS bait the 5a their COM
complaint. Asiatic choleras and ship
fevers and typhoids and London
plaques make the worlds knees knock
together.
Pain has gone through every street
and up every ladder and down every
shaft. 1t is on the wave, on the mast,
on the beach. Wounds from clip of
elephants tusk, and adder's sting, and
crocodile's tooth, and horses hoOf, and
wheels revolution. We gather up the
infirmities of our parents and transmit
to our children the inheritance aug
mented by our own sicknesses, and
they add them to their own disorders,
to pass the inheritance to other gener-
ations. In A. D. 262 the plague in
Rome smote into the dust 5000 citizens
daily. In 544 in Constantinople 1000
grave diggers were not enough to bury
the dead. In 1918 ophthalmia seized
the whole Prussian army. At times
the earth has sweltered with suffering.
Count up the pains of Austerlitz,
where 80 900 fell: of FontenOy. where
1OO,OOO FELL of Chalons, where 100000
fell; of Marius' fight, in which 100000
fell; of the tragedy of Herat. where
Genghis Kahn massacred 1,6O0, 600 men,
and of Nishar, where he slew 1.7+7,-
600 people; of the IS, 900, 600 people this
monster sacrificed in fourteen years,
as he went forth to do as he declared,
to exterminate the entire Chinese ma
ton and to make the empire a pasture
for cattle. Think of the death throes
of the 5000, 900 men sacrificed in one
campaign of XerXes. Think of the
10000 that perished in the siege of
Ostend, of the 300, 900 dead at Acre, of
l, 100, 900 dead in the siege of Jerusalem,
then complete the review by consider
ing the stupendous estimate of Ed
mund Burke-that the loss of war had
been thirty-fve times the entire then
present popu] alton of the globe.
Go through and examine the lacer-
ations, the gunshot fractures, the sa-
Der wounds, the gashes of the battle
ak, the slain of bombshell and exploded
mine and falling wall, and those de-
strOyed under the gun carriage and
the hoof of the cavalry horse, the burn
ing thirsts, the camp fevers, the frosts
that shiyered, the tropical suns that
smote. Add it up, gather it into one
line, compress it into one word, spell it
in one syllable, clank it in one chain,
pour it out in one groan, distill it into
one tear.
Av, the world has writhed in 5000
years of suffering. Why doubt the
possibility of future world of suffer-
ing when we see the tortures that have
been inflicted in this? A deserter from
Sebastopol coming over to the army of
the allies pointed back to the fortress
and said THAT place is perfect
hell"
Our photographers, aware of the i'm
mense necessity of having plenty of
words to express the different shades
of trouble, have strewn over their
pages such words as ''annoyance," :"
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16
because I'm afraid something might


What becomes of the deer and moose
horns that are shed annually in the
Maine wOods?' was the question de-
bated by a number Of hunters up
Moosehead way the other day. Tie
men had all spent much time in the
woods regions, and only one of them
had ever come across even a remnant
of the discarded forest headgear. He
once found a portion of an antler that
bore evidence of having been gnawed
and partly eaten. The verdict rem
dered by the debaters was: The hedge
hogs eat the deer and moose horns. So
one fact in natural history may be con-
sidered settled-that the fretful pOr-
cupine has purpose in life after all.
Without its services the woods might
become Uttered with an impenetra BILE
thicket Of disused antlers. Let US be
grateful to the hedgehog. og.-Lewistop
Jo11rDa1
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

Distress" "grief," bitterness. y
neartache, misery" ''twinge," "
"pang," torture" affiiction." IAN.
guish, 4" "tribulation,' ''wretchedness. 81
woe" But l have glad sound for
every hospital for every sick room.
for lifelong invalid, for every broken
heart. ''There shall be no more pain. i"
Thank God! Thank God!
No malarias float in the air. No
bruised foot treads that street. No
weary arm. No painful respiration.
No hectic flush. No one can drink OF
| that healthful fountain and keep faint.
hearted or faint-headed. He whose foot
touches that pavement becometh an
athlete. The first kiss of that summer air
will take the wrinkles from the old
mans cheek. Amid the multitude OF
songsters not one diseased throat. The
hrSt flash of the throne will scatter the
darkness Of those who were born blind.
See, the lame man leaps as a hart, and
the dumb sing. From that bath of in.
finite delight we shall step forth, our
WEAKNESS forgotten. Who are those
radiant ones? Why. that one had his
jaw shot off at fredericksburg; that
one lost his eyes in powder blast;
that one had his back broken by
fall from the ships halyards; that
one died of gangrene in the hospital.
No more pain. Sure enough here is
Robert Hall, who never before saw
a we'll day, and Edward Payson, whose
body was ever torn of distress, and
Richard Baxter, who passed through
untold physical torture. All well. NQ
more pain. Here, too, are the Theban
legion, great host of 6666 put to the |
sword for Christs sake. No distortion !
on their countenance. No fires to hurt
them, or floods to drown them, or racks |
to tear them. All well. Here are the !
Scotch COvenanterS, none to hunt them
now. The dark cave and imprecations
OF Lord Claverhouse exchanged for
temple service, and the presence of |
Him who helped Hugh Latimer out of
fire. All well. No more pain.
l set open the door of Heaven until
there blows on you this refreshing
breeze. The fountains of God have
made it cool, and the gardens have
made it sweet. | do not know that
Solomon ever heard on a hot dav the
ice click in the ice pitcher, but he
wrote as if he did when he said: ''As
cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good
news from far country"
Clambering among the Green mount
aims, L was tired and hot and thirsty.
and | shall not forget how refreshing
1t was when, after awhile, heard the
mountain brook tumbling over the
rocks. | had no cup, no chalice, so !
got down on my knees and face to
drink. Oh, We climbers on the journey,
with cut feet and. parched tongues and
fevered temples. listen to the rumblinc
Of sapphire brooks amid fiowered banks,
over golden shelvings Listen The
Lamb which is in the midst of the
throne shall lead them unto living
fountains of water" do not offer it
to you in chalice. To take this YOU
must bend. Get down on your knees
and on your face, and drink out of this
great fountain of Gods consolation,
And 10! heard a voice from Heaven,
as the voice of many waters"
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16
The Heathen Chinee

Is not beauty. No more are YOU when
your complexion has an orange tint That
means that you are bilious, fact further
evlnced by discomfort on the right side sick
nI4eadache, vertigo, nauseaand furred tongue.
H.oGstetter,s Stomach Bitters will take the
ol1e OUT OF your blood, regulateyour bowels,
set your stomach in good working 0rder-in
TWO words, cure you. Use it and cease to be
yellow. 1t cures malaral. rheumatic and
kidney trouble.
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

''THERE was a lovely lot of fellows dowa
you come home engaged, thenp asked her
friend. II did; that's my engagement
ring" "Why, my dear just let me con-
gratulate you. Which of the men is it3"
ats all of m. They dubbed together and
bought this solitaire. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

4
at be hon ph + ha ,ra,,Ia -1;a;4 /
vile in uninterrupted bliss
In some places where the number is
very large specia1 - go l-s i'v-aa iit--
I'm sorry" said the veteran, with a
very palpable note of doubt and fear
in his voice, ''but l can't let you have
them"
why not?' asked the young hunter,
bridling at the imputation on his
skill.
Because I'm afraid something might
happen"
This made the young man real mad.
"You talk" he said, ''as if you were
afraid | might shoot myself
No" protested the veteran earnest
ly, lit isn't that. What I'm afraid of
is that you might shoot the dog" anc
the young hunter turned his back on
the veteran in a towering rage.-De-
troit Free Press.
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

JASPER -"Why are you roping up your
trunk: You are not going away till to-mor-
row" JumDuppe-''So I'll have time to
find all the things have forgotten to put in
his trunk is locked and roped." ."-Harper's
Weekly.
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

Two MENAGERIEs recently arrived in
Bologna, one OF which was under the man.
agement of SignOr B., and the other under
that OF his wife, travelling respectively on
their own account. Here they decided to
join their forces, and the fact was an
nounced on the bills as follows: ''Owing to
the arrival of my wife, my collection of liv-
ing animals IS considerably augmented
b. B.'-COnversazione
National Baptist world., 1894-11-16

CENT? have called on the recommenda-
ton of friend to have my portrait painted
But [ should like to know il you can take
me in my fur coat" Artist-''Oh certain
ly. Fact is, you know used to be an ami
NAL painter. .n-Humoristisc Batter