Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1894-11-08
WIT AND HUMOR.


She: How fearful II must be for ,
great singer TO know she has lost he
voice"
He IT'S much more torturing whcl
she doesn't know t." London lid
Bits.
The monkey goes 10 the sunny sid,
of the tree when he wants a warmer
climb. Texas SiftingS.
The emperor OF China seems to b,
exceedingly api,oyed, but he hasn't lost
his collar button yet, New yort
| World
Miggles; What, Are you actually III
the agonics of love again thus late
/ in the season =
piggles YES. The last throes OF
summer, ms the poet says. dear boy
Woonsocket Reporter,
Mr.. Ben Austin, OF TIL City, who
has killed two men. will never kill
any more. He has been killed himself
Kansas City Times.
First College Man; "nid you pass
Your Nams
Second College Man: ira have eaten
my head if | hadn't
First College Man: Are you fond
of calves brains ?"~-Truth.
!
Captain Howgate showed lack OF
Judgment IN not getting on the New
York police force Cleveland Plain.
Dealer.
In Siam wives are sold after they
are divorced. In this country they
never ask divorces until after they
find themselves badly sold Galveston
News
A mystery I'd have thee solve.
oh, beauteous. witching dame;
Thy hats may vary in size from u
square.inch to the side of meet.
ing house. but the bills
Remain about the same.
New England Bride oh. papa, can.
not. indeed ! cannot endure living
with Charles,
old Fogey Father What's the mat
ter?
He's oh he's SO coarse
"Um-huh! Ah-hah' | s'pose he eats
pie with his knife. doesn't hap
"Iyesw
Who furnishes the pie"
"Hehc does :
"You get all ye want OF itY'
yves, sir, but he :
priscilla CordclIa. Just as long as
Charley furnishes YOU with all the pie
YOU want and pays for 1t, don't you
be carin' consarncd cent whether he
eats pie With his fingers or his heels.
And Priscilla never forgot the lesson
even after she got rich. Cleveland
Plain Dealer
He glared at his wife with hatred
and aversion in his eyes
"Our marriage" he bitterly exclam
ed, was a bargain"
The GOODNESS In her face seemed to
soften as she heard his words
what h man yon are. she muscd,
''to look on the bright side of things.
Yes. It was bargain, and to her
way Of thinking that was one com.
fort. Detroit Tribune.
THAT man Ardnp," said the man in
the macintosh twas as GOOD hearted
u fellow as ever lived. but he was
always In debt and always bounded
by creditors. Poor fellow He de
serves better epItaph than an I'M
feeling posterity will engrave on his
tombstone"
"'Well dunned, good and faithful
servant. /" suggested the man who had
his feet on the table, and n deep 81
lence fell upon the group. Chicago
Tribune.
Miss passay 1T is so long ago that
suppose you hardly remember that
day on the lake when you proposed 10
me, and refused your All! how fool
lsh was then!
Jack Ford Yes; so was |!
Mr.. Now, please don't give
me that old chestnut about being a
sister
Miss Vera Young You mistake me
sir; | was merely about to remark
that am willing TO be widow to
you.
my name Is Smith," he said, ad
vancing to Bloobumper with extended
hand you may not remember me
but ! met you at Saratoga last sum
mer"
VERY glad to see you, Mr.. Smith,
! replied Bloobumper. Your name Il
perfectly familiar to me, but | can
recall your face"
PROTEST FROM MRS. SHAW.
The Charming Whistler Resents Care