davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
BISMARCKS HUMOR.
He Refused Pardon, Rut Paid th,
Amount OF the ZINE.

He Refused a Pardon, Rut Paid the
Amount OF the Fine.
The following as an illustration of
Prince Bismarck's good humor: After
he had accepted the ministry of com
merce the prince was struck by the in
significance of many matters he had to
decide. If, for instance. anybody had
been caught illicitly hawking goods
and had been sentenced to a fine, but
had to be pardoned on the score of
poverty, it was necessary, for the re-
mission of the fine, to obtain the con-
sent of two ministers-the minister OF
finance and the minister of commerce.
Bismarck had taken special note OF
a case of this kind. A psddler had
been sentenced to a fine of twenty
marks (about sovereign, and the un-
der secretary of state reported to the
new minister of commerce that he
was poor devil, who had to maintain
a wife and child, and would sink into
still deeper misery if the fine were
converted into imprisonment. He
therefore begged Bismarck to sign an
immediate report, advising the king to
pardon the peddler. The prince em.
phatically refused to do so, for, said
he, if the king had to be advised to
use his right of pardon in all such cases,
justice would become a dead letter.
The peddler has simply not to pay the
fine, and must escape imprisonment in
order to save himself and family from
absolute ruin. The under secretary of
state then referred TO the traditional
practice, and appealed to the heart OF
his chief, who answered:
''All right I'll give the poor devil
the twenty marks out of my own pock-
ct, but shall not have my signature for
the thing. ."-Deutsche Revuc.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
SERVANTS ON INsTALMENTs.
1t Takes Six In Guatemals to Do the Work
of Ono Girl Here.


The American woman, when she
grumbles at the generality of servants,
doesn't know when she Is well off. II
she could spend year at housekeeping
in Guatemala she would come back to
the United States and pass the rest of
her life in peace and contentment, says
the New York Journal.
In Guatemala the servants are either
Indians or half-breeds. They will live
on black beans and tortillas, and as to
wages, they are content for a month
with what a servant girl receives here.
But no American housekeeper would
feel inclined to charge n servant board.
You hire Guatemala woman, for in
stance, as n cook. Then you must hire
a man to keep the fire going. If he is
away, the cook will let her fire go out
sooner than debase her dignity by put
ting on more fuel. A third servant
must be furnished to put the crude
articles of food into shape for handling
by the cook. A fourth is needed to do
all the carrying. Still another must
do the dish washing.
Altogether, half-dozen servants are
needed to get an ordinary breakfast for
three or four persons. A bright, In
telligent, sturdy servant in this coup-
try would accomplish the same feat all
by herself in an hour or less 1t is
comparatively inexpensive to maintain
q household of twelve or fifteen SER
wants in Guatemala, but they are ter
rible trial to an American woman.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
A TERRIBIE HAWK.
Am Enemy That Strikes Terror to Feath~
cred Demizens of the Bush.

Am Enemy That Strikes Terror to Feath~
cred Demizens of the Bush.
The author of "The Naturalist in La
Plata" gives an impressive description
of the terror produced by the appear
ance of a rather small hawk, of spe-
cies unknown to him, although he has
seen II hundred times. 1t is a marsh
hawk. That is to say it seeks its prey
in marshes.
have frequently seen all the inhabi-
tants of a marsh struck with panic, act
ing as if demented and suddenly grown
careless to all other dangers. On such
occasions have looked up, confident Of
seeing this particular hawk suspended
above them in the sky.
All birds that happen to be on the
wing drop into the reeds or water as if
shot. Ducks away from the shore.
stretch out their necks horizontally
and drag their bodies, as il wounded,
into closer cover. Not one bird Is found
bold enough to rise and wheel about
the marauder-a usual proceeding in
the case of other hawks; while at every,
sudden stoop of the falcon a low cry OF
terror rises from the birds underneath
"a sound expressive of an emotion so;
contagious that it quickly runs like a
murmur all over the marsh, as If
gust of wind had swept moaning
through the rushes.
As long rs the falcon hangs overhead,
always at a height of about forty yards,
threatening at intervals to dash down,
this murmuring sound, made up Of
many hundreds of individual cries, is
heard swelling and dying away, and
occasionally, when he drops lower than
usual, 1t rises to a sharp scream of ter
ror.
Sometimes, when / have been riding
over marshy ground, one Of these
hawks has placed himself directly over
my head, within fifteen or twenty
yards. 1t has perhaps acquired the
habit of following horsemen In this
way, in order to strike at any birds
driven up.
Once my horse almost trod ON q
couple of snipe squatting, terrified, Id
the short grass. The instant they rose
the hawk struck at one of them, the
end of his wing shifting my cheek vio-
lently as he stopped. The snipe escaped
by diving under the bride, and Inn
mediate1y dropped on the other side Of
me; and the hawk, rising, flew away.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
THE MODERN DRAMA.
It Is a Dress-Coat Affair and Lacks the
GorIness of Yore.

1t Ia Dress-COat Anar ana Lacks the
GorIness of Yore.
The other night man went TO the
theater who had not been for years,
and he couldn't make it out. says Pear
sons Weekly. First of all he missed
the SIMPLE village youth, the virtucus
hero 1no WAS wont To take the first
prize st the horticultural society, or
else win the guerdon at quoits, or some
thing or other in the rustic revels. But
worst of all he missed the dear old
fashioned villain, and although this
play had a tremendous villain in it our
friend was not impressed with him a
bit. He sighs thus:
II came away again, sadly disap-
pointed. The play was not what l ex-
Pected. l shall go no more to the play
house. The palmy days of the drama
are over. The theater has fallen into
the scar and yellow fifth act, and there
is no health in it! The theater has fol-
lowed the path of literature and the
good old things are changed. I beheld
lot of swell people in evening dress
on the stage. They spoke quietly to
one another, very much as people do off
the stage, and in very much the same
sort of language. This is not what
want when go to the theater.
What is the theatrical villain of to-
day? Is he a real, good, old-fashioned
ruffiap? Does he ever drag n helpless
maiden from the domiciliary roof of
her ancestors by the hair? No, sir.
Does he ever say to the hero: Say one
word and thou art food for the wolves?'
Does he ever grab the heroine by the
wrist, drag her down the stage in
three strides, slam her down in a big
iendishly: IS death, maiden, but, by
my soul, love thee! Thou shalt be
mine Yield or by heaven I'll
That's all l know of that speech,
because BY heaven III is the cue for
the maiden to spring up, and, throw
ing the villain half way across the
stage, to say: 'Unhand me, rufianI
And know, that rather than mate with
such as thou, I'd cast myself from
wonder battlement into the foaming
flood beneathr
"And does the william then say: Now,
by heavens, I like thy spirit / love
thee all the more for it?
"And does the maiden say: 'Merciful
powers, protect me-?
"And does the door open and the
hero rush In, armed with good, blunt
broadsword? And then do he and the
villain fence up and down the stage,
skies, eights, shoulder blows, cut and
thrust? Oh, no. These things have
given way to swallow-tailed coats and
high collars, and the villain Is now as
big a swell as any fellow in the show.
Oh, for the good old palmy days of the
drama, when the broadsword ruled
and there was gore! The modern
drama is too much like ice cream after
heavy dinner-cold and unsatisfy'
;po
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
uhAPPREoIATEp BANANAS.
Some superstitions About Haddocks and
Fern Roots.

The banana possesses wonderful sus-
tanning properties, and yet years ago,
In the warm countries where It -four
ishes, the banana was thought Of SO
lightly that It was allowed t6 waste II
not eaten by the cattle.
The plant itself was valued simply as
shade for coffee trees, between rows
Of which 1t was planted
Somebody once told me, saysa writer
In the Gent1ewoman, that the Span
iards used to regard the banana as q
forbidden fruit, because they detected
In its heart the transverse section Of
the cross.
remember, too, how one of my early
governesses used to delight me by
Showing me the cross and the apostles
in the center of the passion flower; and
the other day friend told me of some
curious synbolical marks to be found
at the back of the neck Of the haddock,
indentations similar to those that
might be caused by the finger and
thumb, the supposition being that the
haddock was one of the fishes picked
out Of the net on the occasion OF the
miraculous draft Of fishes.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
ASHAMED OF THEMSELVES.
The Queer Effect OF photographinG Upon
Some siberians.

Some sIberians.
81 have witnessed good many
amusing incidents In the course OF my
career" said New York photographer,
the other day, but I think the one
that struck me as the most ludiorouB
occurred while was In Siberia Q few
years ago. had my camera with me,
and spent considerable time in taking
pictures Of the people and surrounding
country. l had engaged the servicea
Of two native servants, and one day.
having nothing better to do, / induced
one of them to sit for his photograph.
The fellow had never seen a mirror In
his life, and / dare say had no eoncep;
tion Of the degree Of ugliness exhibited
upon his countenance, At any rate he
manifested no delight at seeing his
picture, though his companion ap.
peared very much eIated, and could
not rest until I had taken bis picture
also. When tie latter saw bis picture
he also seemed depressed. The
portraits appeared to have brought to
the minds OF both strange revelations,
and they retired to their tent In q
thoughtful mood, each trying to
smooth down the bushy locks which
crowned their heads. Presently one Of
them came to me and borrowed pair
Of scissors, and shortly efter they rel
turned with scarcely a vestige OF haip
remaining on their heads and implored
me to take their pictures again. The
fruit of the camera was to them like
the fruit of the tree Of knowledge"
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
It Wasn't His Razor.

The king was sore distraught There
was anger in his royal heart.
What, no." he roared. "Why failed
the keen edge of my battle AK in to-
days conflict"
The knight Of the kitchen table
bowed him low.
Your majesty" he rejoined, '"it Is
reported that her highness princess
royal complained much of her corns
upon yesterc'en, and does not to-day"
The monarch swallowed his resent
ment, contenting himself with once
more placing himself upon record as
touching the subject of the interfer-
ence of women in affairs of state. De
irOit Tribunc.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Why did you Gomez"

Why did you conner
"It was confounded cheek, of course,
but drowning man catches at straws,"
he said bluntly. "ADd-I am hungry,
il you want to know"
"Ah!"
He turned scarlet to the eyes; he
could have bitten his tongue out 4
marvellous change came over the wom-
an-hcr hauteur vanished, she was all
subtle feminine sympathy She held
out her hand to him with gesture of
infinite graciousness.
Forgive me! l would not have been
so harsh if l had had any idea-Hun-
gry!" Her glorious voice would have
melted an iceberg,
I'm not hungry exclaimed poor,
penniless Dick, gasping with pride.
Don't you believe it-absurd exag-
geration-all rot! | don't know why
said it."
81 do" she said. You told me the
truth on the spur of the moment, and
now you're sorry. If you deny it l
shan't believe you, SO you can save
your breath to cool the lunch you're
going to have with me. I have been
hungry often-in the old days when /
was only little Cynthy' in Lake Gen
eva, Wis.,-and l know it's bad. Mr.
Carroll, do You intend to make me hold
out my hand all day?"
He choked.
I'll take you hand, but I'm dashed
if I'll take your lunchr'
Eyes, you SHALL" she said. Its
rude to contradict a lady. Well have
it all alone here-you and l and Mrs.
Ross, my companions; and I'll tell
you beautiful story about myself for
the qualification of the good, inquisi-
tive public. In return you shall tell
me what put it into your head to come
TO Brighton"
He ate her lunch and drank her
champagne, and before the meal was
over she knew all about him and the
bun episode.
"Pluclxy," she thought, and she ad-
mired courage in man, witty, proud,
well-bredr'
She looked kindly at him, and
smiled-with a moisture in her eyes.
Il hope you'll succeed with the Mir
ror; I'm sure you WILL" she said, when
he took leave of her at last. You
must come and see me at Palace Man
sions and tell me what you have done.
But in case you don't get the post, or
there is any delay"
Dick broke into a gentle perspira-
ton. Was she going to offer to lend
him money?
She read the terror in his eyes, and
refrained. But that evening the post
man delivered at Dicks lodgings an
anonymous envelope containing five
pound note. He knew that she had
sent il as well as if she had told him
so, and returned it to her promptly,
with little note of thanks
She called him names, and made sew
eral vague and bitter illusions during
the following day to false pride and
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
CHAMPIONS IN THEIR LINE.
Absent-nfinded People who Were Simply
Wonders.

They are telling a story Of Dutch
man who presented himself at the reg
istar's cflce recently to obtain license
for his approaching ma rriage, and who,
on being asked the name Of the bride,
was compelled to confess that 1t had
quite escaped him, and he had to re-
turn home for the necessary informa-
tion. It's q pretty good story OF alb
sence of mind, but there are others on
record that are even better. There
have been cases where persons have
even forgotten their own names.
Lessing, the historian, was subject
to the most wonderful fits of abstrac-
ton. One night, returning home late,
he rang the front door bell, and when
a servant called out from an upper win
dow that the professor was not at
home, he said: "All right, I'll come
again." and walked away.
There was an English clergyman,
Rev. George Harvest, who was engaged
to daughter of the bishop of London,
but on the day of his wedding went
fishing, and forgetful of the appointed
hour did not appear at the nuptials.
The lady broke off the match.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
What He Wanted.

At the hospital the other morning,
says Life, one of the patients was just
recovering from an attack OF deliriund
tremeps, and, as Is usual in such cases,
desired to dress and go home more that
anything else. II happened that one
of the young ladies connected with the
flower mission saw him, and, approach
ing, said: II have some beautiful roses
here. Wouldn't you like some?" Nc
response. Again she said: 'Wouldn't
You like to have some OF these roses?
Slowly his head turned, and, slightly
opening his bleary eyes, he said, much
to the embarrassment of the young
woman; "rd blamed sight rather
have my pants,n
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Thrift.

Hans proprietor of the halfway
house)-How many beds empty up
stairs, Katrina?
Kntrina-Four, Hans.
Hans-Vell, empty some tacks quick
on the street out. / dinks me ] see
five picycle riders comm dis way ali
retty, ON dem wheels vat dey blows
NIT air up.-Judge.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Origin OF Visiting Cards.

We owe the invention of visiting
cards to the Chinese. So long ago as
the period Of the Tong dynasty (e1s'
9o7) visiting cards were known to be In
common use in China, and that is also
the date of the Introduction of the
"red siiken cords" which figure sd
conspicuously on the engagement cards
Of that country,
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
A Waste of Time.

"Parson Dodd," said a parishioner,
with CONSERVATION In his voice,
there IN infidel goin' 10 speak In thd
town hall tonight. He's agin religion,
and he says there isn't any God"
Well" replied the parson, with q
placid twinkle in his eye, II guess God
caA stand it."-Detroit Advertiser.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Had nm Earncnt Purpoac.

"Do you believe iE the novel with u
purposc?" said Squildig to an author
friend.
Certainly" the latter replied. "All
the novels ever wrote have the same
purpose"
what is it?'
ITO improve my bank account. An
swers.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Decided DIsadvantape.

Teacher-Now do you see the differ
ence between animal instinct and hui
man reason?
Bright Boy-Yes'm. II we had in
stinct twe'd know everything we needed
to without learning it; but we've got
reason, and have to study ourselves
mos blind or be n fool.-Good News
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
At tho Boardlng House.

pass me the Sandow," remarked
the boarder on the far side OF the ta-
BILE TO the boarder on the near side
The landlady glanced up sharply,
and the boarder on the near side never
let on. Then the landlady's attention
was called to something else, and the
boarder on the near side passed the
butter to the boarder on the FAR side
Detroit Free PKesh
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
1ove,, s,lent fnterchsns..

Friend-How did the count propose
to you, and you accept, II he could not
understand your language nor you his?
American Heiresl-lt was very
simple. He showed me his family
tree and showed him my handbook. -
N. Y. Weekly,
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Where Writing Pays.

She-Bixby appears to be qqito A
bright young man. hear he acquired
enough money by writing to pay for
his education mt college.
He-Yes; writing home to his pa
rents--Ariteasssy &Esss!ss
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
C.t,seyes. Ancient and Modern

! The cat'seye stone, now priced as on
ornament, is a very different thing from
! the ancient cats eye, or eyestone OF
India, an agate cut so as to show the
so-called eye or eyes. tbs supposed by
some that this latter was used as mon.
ey in many parts of India four centu.
ries ago. and specimens found to-day
have an interest Of numismatists
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
His Field.

Syms--I see that they have organized
boarding house keepers trust in Phil
adelphia.
Smyles-That's what I've been look,
ing for. You can't get trusted hero
nowadaYs.-Brool Life.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11

A negro living on Onion creek came
to Austin recently, and the following
conversation occurred between him and
q city friend:
"How Is Pete Jackson"
"He Is done dead"
"Yer don't tole me SO. How did hit
come about?"
HE died wild digestion OBJ de lungs,
but surrounded wild de bes' wishes oh
dc hull neighborhood. Alex. Sweet,
I'm Texas Siftinps
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
a kfranHa Cahn.

Il saw very curious thing to-day"
"What was it?"
"a woman driving nail with Q
hammer instead OF with the back OF
her best hair brush. m Y. Press.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
A Point of Similarity.

Hicks-Your milk Is like what we
have on the coast of England.
Milltman-IIow Is that?
Hicls-Large chalk deposits.-N. Y.
World
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11

qWhere are you going, my pretty maid"
apigging FOR CLAIMS, kind sir" she said.
"pan go with you, ms pretty maidf"
"but you're already dug" she said.
Puck.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Ask Their wives.

Breathes there q man with soul 30 dead
Who never To himself hath said.
AS home his footsteps he has turned:
81 clean forgot that, III be dcrned"
-Waahlngton star.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Devotion.

Darling" he murmured, 81 would
be ready to die for you"
She raised her eyes and smiled.
Then"
1t was obvious that she was deeply
affected-"you, too, have noticed that
black becomes me-"
The evidence of unselfish affection on
his part quite overcame her.-Detroit
Tribune
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Rank Favoritism.

80, no! there's no favorite ip our
family" said Jenny TO her bosom
friend, Norah. 80, no! II bite my
finger nails | catch it over the lsnuck!
les; but the baby can eat his whole
foot, and they think it clever!''-For-
get -Mc-Not.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
A ERmiliar Quotation.

Staylate-I must go; II Is getting
late,
Ethel Knox-Well, better late than
never.-N. Y. World.
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11
Making Rain I'm India.

A rainmaker in India has an appar-
atus consisting Of rocket capable Of
rising to the height of mile, contain
ing reservoir of ether; In its descent
1t opens n parachute, which causes it
to come down slowly. The ether Is
thrown out in fine spray, and It's alb
sorption Of heat Is said to lower the
temperature about 1t sufficiently to
condense the vapor and produce linn
tied shower
Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1894-10-11

World.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1894-09-20
IN MEA0Siss.

Mrs. GarT Susie Caggin Mad
dOx was born in Lafayette
county. Mss. Nov. Gin. lS93,
aud in a few days had the MIS-
fortune TO lose her mother. She
moved with her father TO Brewn-
wood. Texas, in IsSa ard pro
fessed religion and joined the
Cumberland Presbyterian
church IN BrOwnw0od. in 1885,
and was married to Rev A s.
Maddox, of Lebanon, Tenn.
Rev. F VI Gillian officiating, as
assisted by Rev. L + HenGrick
ia the Cumberland PRESBYTERIAN
church at BrownGood. Aug. 30.
1898. Rev. A s Maddox was
elected president of Uni0n Fe-
male College. ut Oxford, MISS q.
where he and his wife had lust
NOV ell when Mrs Maddox died.
Aug -, 1894. Her life and
character deserve more than
this brief newspaper notice
above published.
Yea, even more than we could
say a. any time, however well
prepared, bat even IN this We
esteem IL although a solemn
duty. yet one performed with
pleasure. to add another word
TO that which has already been
said in eommemoratIon Of the
life of one who so lived as to en-
dear herself to all who knew
her.
Why, in the wisdom Of an ON
niseieut Providence it pleased
Him who doeth all things welI'r
TO take away one so bright, so
young and happy, and who
seemed to have JUS; entered the
threshold ola joyous useful life,
We eau never understand, bat
Heaven often wells Its most
provIdent mereies in what TO
man, seems its stesnsst infiie-
tions-r Death is ever an unwel.
come visitor. He never lays his
icy hand upon one Of the human
family, even though that one has
lived mans allotted years. bat
what be chil;s the heart of many
and brings sorrow and hereave
Inent to the freside. Bat when,
as in this instance. the dreaded
destroyer, with his scythe of
death, has cut down the flower,
just in the full bloom OF woman
hood. ended, so uhtimely, a
young and beautiful life, bereav-
ed an aged father and mother.
desolAted the hearth stone aad
fiiled with unspsakaole sorrow
the heart Of q young, devoted
husband. then, indeed is the cup
bitter, the anguish deep, the
burden Of griefs keavy-over.
wbelming. yet it was . triumph
for the early death was i'm