Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-10-09

address the club Christmas eve. 3SO E. C.. but his remarks were not taken down. It is said, however, that. aS he was the guest of the evening. he had n right to and appropriated the only joke then in use. IL was joke aftCrward ascribcd tu Jcrrold-viz. that man ought to regard his wife aS bank note. and when she reached 10 he should be able to change her for two twcntics.
 Philip of MaCciiun regretted that he could not become q mUIubCr of the club, but madc it a byaUtiful present and ask ed that its good things bc neatly bound ill book form, containing all the good sayings of tn" club. Imagine his surprise when he received q booklCt containing the above joke only-a hOok which, in the language "t S,l Smith Russell, was bound in calf. with the tale on the in side.
 l regret that moro has Irut b,.cn said regarding the d"iuGS of this club. the first known iH history uf a SOCial char actCr. The historian now and then gives us fragmcntary glimpse of an cvancs- cent Scotch joke pcrpCtratcd by LuCian and AthenGus but it k not an able joke and mostly has to bc f,i with a spoon on lactated food several weeks before it can sit mp and take notice
 Archimcd,-s was n very serious man generally. hut was during his lifetime the author of one little lsunmot. He was extremely nl>cntnindC,l-in fact. he rCSCmbltd Edison in this way. Oucc he made discovery of great value to science whilc in his bath. and with a wild yell of "Eurvka' Euruka!" he dashed out upon the street and started for the courthouse to rrCurd 1t. When he caught a SiNtCCnth street car and felt for his change. he found that he had forgotten his purse. also his puSkct. also his pantllOOn~. and when the conductor told him tO shove m cloSter'' hr was paincd tO nOtiCc that. aside from n dark blue indigo anchor tattwS',l uu his furc. arm. he had left most everything iu the bathrOOm.
 This incident will bc remembered hy the student ut ancient history. I trust. ArChinlvde> was philosopher and in vented things. stuffed wild animals when he would rather have stuffed him self. and ran 0f Crrands for tho king King llicrn had n is crown made for himself. it seems. with q view tn wear ing it on Fourths Uf July and Decoration days. but he suspected. after he had tried it on. that it was adultCratCd. and SO he took il to ArChimcdCs, who was at tho time sharpening the royal shears and carving knife out at tho woOdhouse Here. ArchiC. says the king. this here crown upon my fOrCward is no good See: It makes dark green streak OH me for war,l when I'm rcigniug Now. the whole job Archie Is rotten. and want ynu to discover what the matter with it and then pick q mess of string beans for her majesty right away"
 Archimedes had not bathed for some time. and so. with this problem in his mind, he hung his tOga on n nail, and filling the bathtub full hc found that by stepping on q cake of soap and falling into it he displaced volume of water ! equal to his own weight. and from that specific gravity and some moro things like that wero discovered. by means of which Archimedcs learned that the crown was indeed adultcratcd. and the jeweler was cast into prison. where he had a good chance to regret his past life. Archimedes was thon made philoso-
 
 tendent of schools at i5 scudi per month and laundry. His given name. l regret to say, was torn off and swallowed up fin | oblivion. but he was never stumped in figures and could parse q sentence or play checkers with any man in Syracuse. He was the author of the term eureka, which is now so common, being applied to suspenders. baking powder. insecti- eide and stomach bitters
 Little did Archimedes wot, when he exclaimed eureka, even though he was the eureka wotter of his time. that one 20 much affected by squash vines and sseam laundries. It is said that when ! Archimedes rushed from the bath. with his long tan colored whiskers thrown over one shoulder and mixing up with the overjoyed breeze. he surprised and | scattered tho Syracuse Normal school on its way home and broke up game of croQues at the rectory. Everywhere he was greeted with surprise and em. | barrnssmcnt.
 He was the author of put ono joke during his lifetime. Thrwa on the occasion of his visit to SyriS use after he had become a great man. After every. | body elso had discovered that ho was a i genius his native town came tagging along and said to itself: Archie used to live here. and, according to tho pa pers. he fs ketching on elsewhere. Les give him a bankot and show tho alarmed