The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-11-22
soMs FALSE IMPRESSIONS.
A Chicago azaIdsn BIOraIizes on the Mod
.Ll.I-e-

a Chicago MAIDEN BIOralfzes on the Nod
Joke.
''Man IS a complex creature" sighed
the girl who was thinking of q postgrad-
nate course at the university.
i don { agree with you, replied the
girl who always spelled until with a dou-
bic l. Il find him exceedingly simple"
And how simple one has to be to
please him. groaned the girl with the
dimple In her chin.
''Doesn't onee often think OF having
all my wisdom teeth out on purpose.
Wy hatever are you talking about" ask
ed the girl who was thinking Of taking a
postgraduate course at the university.
Man, my dear Our proper study, you
know And, oh. how much easier life
would be II only the comic paper had
never been invennedi''
Laura, dear, if you would only keep
to one subject at a time it,
oh, Laura is all right, put in the
girl with the dimpIe in her chin ''What
she means is this: Nine out of every ten
men acquire what they think is a vast
amount of knowledge concerning the pc
culiarities of our sex through the funny
papers Oh, it Is true, Mary, though you
look SO incredulOus, and the nearer we APP
prOach to the humorist's ideal Of US the
more thoroughly the men think they I'M
derstand as, and consequently the better
they like US
well, neveri' said Mary in faint
voice.
yes, and it is very trying to live up to
it, p groaned the girl who always spelled
until with double l. II take all the fun
ny papers myself in order to keep up with
the latest ideas, aud very expensive find
it too
as Yes, and then one has to pretend not to
understand the Jokes. - lamented the Girl
caught with one, I always pretend that
I'm only looking at the pictures But
what I do hate worst is the ice cream
joke. -
1.-The ice cream joker faltered the girl
who was thinking of postgraduate course
the university.
"NI'hm. There was a rich old bachelor
at the place where I was staying last sum
mer who firmly believed that all girls
would like to live exclusively on ice cream
The cream they made there was atrocious,
yet had to eat plate after plate of it just
to please him. {"
And did anything GOMEZ
Nothing, dear. He told me when we
parted that had reminded him of an old
love. Well I shall be reminded of him
for long time By the fearful indigestion
that tepid cream gave me"
oh, WELL perhaps next year.
Never Laura. 1 could not marry him
under false pretenses. Think, oh, think,
OF having to eat three plates Of cream
every day in the year -
Laura shuddered. Still I shall always
have to pretend to be afraid of mice and to
love big dogs"
Poor deari Did tell you what COM
ical experience I had in the train Monday
morning? Nor Well, had been staying
a day or two at Winnetka with Inc, and
coming in 1 bought a magazine. had
my embroidery scissors in my bag, and
while was getting them out heard an old
gentleman in the seat III front Of me
whisper to his neighbor, See if she doesn't
use one now of course, of course, was
the reply
Did they mean hairpin?" asked the
girl who was thinking Of a postgraduate
course at the university.
Certainly. What else? And you should
have seen their look of disappointment
when began to cut the leaves with the
scissors -
"Humphl Did they think you could
afford to use real tortoise shell hairpins
for such a purpose when they are ex-
pensive and SO fragiIe2" cried the girl who
always spells until with a double l. still
I always stick in a wire one somewhere
for such an emergency"
50 I shall after this, for that old mans
look of despair will haunt me to my dying
day. and he talked about the new woman
all the way into town Chicago Tribune