The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1894-09-15

The New Suburban Resident Got the Wrong
Man.


The New Suburban Resident Got the Wrong
Man.
Life In the suburbs OF "A city has its
advantages. especially in the summer
months. The streets are cool and
shady, noise and hustle are absent, the
grown folks can sit and rest or read on
the piazza, while the boys can fly kites
or play baseball without being driven
away by policeman
But these suburban sections are
choice place for agents, who ring door
bells and try 10 sell something; and
there are times when people begin 10
look upon these visits as bore. Occa-
sionally, however. "A householder may
make mistake. and get mad at the
wrong man; and this is what n subur-
ban resident did one day, the restlt be-
ing that he felt very much ashamed OF
himself.
lie had just settled down with his
family in nice house, and felt sure
that he would enjoy himself. Two
days after he had moved in IL was Sat
urday, and he got home early from the
city.
His wife and the hired girl were busy
arranging the rooms upstairs, 50 he
offered to sit in the parlor and answer
the door-bell. In short time he had
opened the door 10 ten agents. and
when the eleventh ring came he was so
angry that he would have fought nest
OF hornets.
When hcopencd the door tall, meek
faced looking man, dressed in black
who was standing on the step, began
10 say something, but the householder
interrupted him:
"Oh You needn't tell me what you
have to sell, for don't want H. I
don't need a burglar alarm, nor q boot
jack that has a music box attached 20
IL, nor a stcm-winding can opener. nor
a.
but, my dear sir, said the stranger,
"you are
"oh, never mind what ann replied
the householder; ''and don't my dear
sir me. II won't do you any good.
tell you don't want combined mus
4 tache cup and cuiry-comb; have no use
l for IA gate that can be taken from its
4 hinges and made 70 duty as folding
bed when there's company in the house.
i 4
washing powder and hair restorcr;
and, really, my wife does not need a
recipe for preserving Goldfish, or frying
paper Of hairpins and making them
taste like shad"
Really, sir, said the mecl-loolSing
man, this is most extraordinary
'Of course it's extraordinary
growlcd the suburban resident; "but
that's no reason why You should in
sist ON me buying IL. ! suppose il can
be used either Co tune the piano or Go
CRATE horseradish with, but | don't
need IT, Perhaps IL will pare potatoes
and apples, take grease spots out Of
clothing chase dogs out OF the front
yard, and keep eats from giving con
ccrts on the back fence. / am sur
priscd that "A man Of your age and re-
spectacle appearance should go round
selling these things when people in the
neighborhood have SO much wood that
needs saving. What's the use Of try
ing Go sell man one Of your gimcraclt'
when you can get dollar "A day carry
ing brick for those houses that are be-
ing built up the street,
He stopped, for he was out of breath
and the stranger got chance 10 say
something.
"I'm not an agent, he said.
"Thcu what are you?' gasped tn,
householder.
"I'm the pastor Of the Presbyterian
church across the way, and ! came ovci
TO get acquainted with the family
Bnt / did not know that this is pri
waite lunatic asylum and that you are
one OF the patients. Good-day
l.. Crawford, In n. Y Ledger.