The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-03-23

fear could keep off anger To die with forti-
tude, to renounce hopes, schemes, ambi-
tions, to lay down life in its rosy morning
hours. when the world is full Of promise OF
bliss--to 40 this at moments notice and
with resignation is possible, but it is not
in human nature TO be grateful for cruelty.
The disease had not yet wholly mastered
my spirit. There was one fierce spark left,
and so, rising on my elbow and speaking in
a voice that trembled and quivered, or
dered the man of.
Go" said ''Let me never look on
your face again. And when you come to
die pray You have better comforter"
He went without sign of compassion or
contrition, indeed with a smirk of disdain,
and /, falling back with feeling of being
forsaken by God and man, lost heart, and
a scalding torrent soaked the coarse blan
kets. And in that moment of dire punish.
ment, as il present evils were not enough,
there smote upon my conscience the light
ninglike stroke of an accusing memory.
The thwarted plans Of my father, the un-
needed sorrow OF my mother, were as arrows
of fire in my soul. Fate had indeed per-
mitted me to please myself, but she was
now exacting payment, and the payment
was my life.
i had a feeling, I say, Of being forsaken,
but In the graciousness OF Providence / had
friend even now Not long after the mate
left me Mr.. Watson returned, gave me
some medicine, spoke cheerfully TO me, tell
ing me to keep up my heart, for that many
a man had had fever on shipboard and
lived long years afterward to tell the tale.
But could see that out Of his humanity
he was assembling his real thoughts, ard
30 determined il possible TO get at them.
"You have seen cases of this sort before, F"
said. us it seriousi BE plain and tell
me IL you think / have a chance to pull
through"
He seemed unwilling TO answer the ques-
tion, which of course was an incentive TO
me TO press him.
'If you don't answer" said, "I'll know
it's because you're afraid TO tell me the
worst"
"You know the old proverb, Mr.. Kill
gour," he returned slowly, that while
there's life there's hope"
Just So" said, ''and that in cases like
mine doesn't mean much, or rather 1t
means n great deal"
II will not mislead you, Mr.. Kilgour,"
he rejoined, shifting about uneasily on his
feet. II think you have bad attack, and
this is foul hole, and we are without
proper remedies. But then you are young
and have a good constitution, and that, as
any doctor will tell you, is worth gallons
Of drugs"
THANK you" I said. "I wanted your
candid opinion"
Aud now, when / thought there was no
chance OF life, grew calmer. Indeed my
fear almost vanished, for, as the wind is
tempered to the shorn lamb. there is hard
ly an evil but brings its snodyne with IL.
Mr.. Watson left me abruptly, but pres
emily he came back carrying book in his
hand. II happened to be sunday evening,
and ! fancied be was going TO employ his
leisure in reading a story TO me. But it
was Bible, not a story book, that the
good soul held In his hand.
III have been a good many years away
from Scotland, Mr.. Kilgour." he said, rath.
er sheepishly siding up to my bed, but ]
haven't quite forgotten the training Of my
youth nor the customs of my native land and
am going 20 do now what, / think, youi
mother would be well pleased with" And
sitting down on the edge Of my berth he be
gan TO read. His voice was not very steady,
and he coughed good deal more than
seemed Ct all necessary.