The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-08-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


crease. Truth.
A young man is a theory; an old
man fact. .-Atchison Globe.
A boys idea of glory is to oplay base
ball in a "suit. ."--Atchison Globe.
If woman looks cool on a hot day,
she doesn't mind being warm. -Atchi-
son Globe.
As soon as a man announces that he
is a reformer, he ought to be arrested.
-Atchison Globe.
The baseball player would be all
right if he could only play as well as
he practices. Puck.
Man is made of dust; and his name
becomes Mud through the watering
cart of Fate. Puck.
A mans confidence in his own ex-
perlence is an inverse proportion to
his age. Rams Horn.
Hunger is the best sauce, but when
you have no other it is fatal to the
stomach. Rams Horn.
Women never get over the notion
that they are entertaining angels una
wares. -Atchison Globe.
Be polite to everybody. There's
no telling when you may have some
thing to sell -Atchison Globe.
A growler is man who would much
rather sleep in cyclone than IN an
ordinary draft. Galveston News.
When the last man leaves the room,
the women draw their chairs up
closer, and whisper. .-Atchison Globe.
''Thus we part, wretch, and this Is
the last letter from your unhappy
Anna. P. S.-More tomorrow. =
Fliegende Blaetter.
Laundry machinery really seems to
have reached the stage of perfection.
1t can destroy collar in single wash.
Boston Transcript.
81 fail" said the boarder, frantic
ally saving at the steak, ''to ind
weak point in this Armour plate. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hiland-"What a nuisance that
egotist Spudkins is !" Halket-
'Right you are. He's regular Il
sore. Pittsburg Chronicle.
1t is supposed that the fashion among
women of reading the final pages OF a
novel first is due to their prediction
for the last word. Boston Transcript.
Clara-"When you refused Freddie.
did YOU tell him to brace up and be q
man?" Saddie--"No, l didn't want
TO be unreasonable. Detroit Tri-
bune.
1t is always discovered, when a man
is killed while engaged in some
hazardous business, that it was his in
tention to have retired next year.
Atchison Globe.
Hungry Higgins" "Say, it amt hot
on the road, here, ner nuthin. :"
Weary Watkins-"You said 'er. Don't
you wisht we was in some nice, cool
Jail l?'-Indianapoli Journal.
Mrs. Carson-''I hear it was a runa-
way match" Mrs. Vokes-'"Yes.
The bride and her father caught up to
him with preacher when he was try
ing to escape New York Herald.
Doctor-'Let's see, did prescribe
for you the last time you were here?'
Patient-'Let me see-oh, yes! L
remember now, for l was deadly sick
all the next day boston Transcript.
Beggar-"K sir, pray give me a
shilling for my six hungry children
Passerby-"Awfully sorry; but I'm
not buying hungry children Just now;
I've got nine at home already. Lon
don Moonshine.
Bangle Nature has been very
kind to Mrs. Bluscher See the roses
on her cheeks?" Miss b. s rival
eyes, indeed. One must have a
natural gift to paint like that -
Arkansaw Traveller.
''Did Miss Fyppe receive many
proposals while ut the seashore"
"Many? Why, receiving proposals
got to be habit with her. She got
SO she couldn't even hear soda water
bottle pop without exclaiming, This
is so sudden = indianapolis Jour
nal.
Mr.. Dun-"But, my dear fellow,
this account has been running seven
wears" Scientific Debtor That's
right, old man. But you know every
atom of a mans system changes in
seven years. 1 am not the man who
bought the goods. Cincinnati lri'
bune.
The good, kind old gentleman
looked down benignantly on the small
urchin backing his shoes ''Now,
my boy" he said, after he had finished
blacking his shoes, "what would you
think if 1 gave you a nice new 81
bill?" The boy, down ON all 'ulrs,
cooked his head up at his prospective
benelactor 81 guess I'd think you
wanted ninety-ive cents change he
replied, and the subsequent proceed
ings proved his guess to be correct. --
Detroit Free Press.
The export from Sweden to the