The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1894-07-03
KICKING A KINGS Sims.
The Doctor Hit Hard, but the Mon.
arch Got Mixed on the Signals.

Kings of Hawaii, they had true
sense of royal dignity, as this story
will show, says the Chicago
Tribune.
Once Lord George Paulet, in
command of the British man-of-
war Carysfort, was cruising in the
Pacific. He ran into the harbor of
Honolulu, and took look at the
islands. He liked them. Accord
ingly, with the true British instinct,
he decided to annex them to the
extensive dominions of her Britain
mic Majesty. He landed a company
of marines, hoisted the Union Jack,
fired a cannon, broke a bottle of
wine, and announced that Hawaii
was a British colony.
There were not many whites in
Hawaii then, and the native gov
eminent was not strong enough to
resist Great Britain. The few whites
there were chiefly American mis-
sionaries. But they were the
genuine New England stock. They
never lacked for backbone. One
of them, DR.. Judd, the father of
A. F. Judd, the present Chief
Justice of Hawaii, was a man of
singular courage and great mental
force. He was the first white man
to hold office in Hawaii, and was
then Prime Minister of the King,
Kamehameha, third of the name.
In fact, DR.. Judd was the real ruler
of the Kingdom.
DR.. Judd prepared to visit Wash
ington to induce the United States
to interfere in behalf of Hawaii.
But before he could go Admiral
Thomas, in command of the British
squadron in the Pacific, arrived at
Honolulu. He disavowed the act
of Lord Paulet and ordered that the
British flag be taken down. Soon
afterwards his government approx.
ed his action.
Admiral Thomas became an i'm
mense fovorite with the Hawaiians.
They thought there was nobody
like him. The King decided to
give him a splendid banquet at the
palace. But the Kings knowledge
of topics such as Admiral Thomas
would be likely to discuss at the
banquet was limited So DR.. Judd
arranged that the King and the
Admiral should sit opposite each
other, while he would sit beside the
King. Admiral Thomas, who was
known to be fond of talking, was to
be allowed to monopolize the con-
versation. The King was to say
merely yes or no. DR.. Judd was to
kick him on the right shin when
he should say yes and on the left
shin when he should say no.
The afternoon before the banquet
the doctor coached the King care
fully and the King said he under
stood.
The banquet was really sump-
tuous. The Admiral was much
pleased with the well-meant and
Mell-cooked compliment to himself.
The King also was in the best
humor.
By and by, when the edge was
taken off appetite, the Admiral be-
gan to talk about public topics, and
frequently he would appeal to the
King to know if he didn't think
Just that way, too.
At the first question DR.. Judd
kicked the Kings right shin I'M
der the table and the King prompt
y answered no to the Admiral's
question. According to the prear-
'anged code he should have said
yes. DR.. Judd gave him another
Kick and ne hastily said yes. But
/ minute later the King got mixed
gain and the doctors kicks con-
used him more than ever.
The King made so many mistakes {
hat the doctor was busy through {
ut the banquet kicking his shins.
md his vexations at the Kings
mistakes caused him to kick pretty
lard, too. !
But the King was a King, sure
nough mindful of his dignity. He t
ever kicked back, nor did he cast
ne cross look at DR.. Judd. He
merely listened to the Admiral and
miled and said "no" when be
hould have said "yes," and Eyes"
hen he should have said mo"
he signals were inextricably mix
d in his mind.
When the banquet was over it
as found that the Kings shoes
ere full of blood, and his shins
ere gashed like a freshly pound
i tenderloin steak by the toes of
II. Judd's stout boots. He had to
g carried to his bed and he was SO
me he could not walk again for