The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-01-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The season is here when the bravest
of MS are glad to get under cover
Buffalo Courier
Filing will sometimes rasps the
feelings of disappointed legatees.--
Lowell Courier.
Maud-"Our engagement is Sc
cret." Lena--"So everybody tell me"
Brooklyn Life.
1t will not help your own crop any
to throw stones at your neighbor's
truck patch. Rams Horn.
Watts--''You look rather shaky this
morning." Potts" Naturally. feel
rocky. indianapolis Journal.
The girl of the period says she OBJ
iects to flattery, but she likes to have
her sleeves pulled. New York World.
She-'Do you think he is real
nobleman?" He-''He must be; he
isn't an ideal one. Detroit Free
Press.
A Philadelphia doctor tiled to ''raise
the dead, but was Immediately fired
on by the cemetery watchman. PLAIN
Dealer.
Young America, with his parents to
help him, is rapidly educating the
timid teachers of this country
Galveston News.
No matter if man is peaceful at
all other times, when he meets cy-
clone he is sure to strike a blow
Rochester Democrat.
Naturalist-"And now. how shall we
prove that man is the superior crea-
ture?" Prpil-''By asking him. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Barber-"How would you like your
hair cut, sir?" Uncle Hayseed- "Fust
rate, young man fact is, that's what
[ cum in fer. Brooklyn Life.
It doesn't make much difference to
BARRIERS how hard times are. Even IN
the best of times they have to scrape
for living. Philadelphia Record.
Oh. woodman. spare that tree,
pray you let 1t stand,
refuge it may be
When tho bulldog is at hand.
Atlanta Journal.
She "What foolish reason So
she wouldn't marry you on account OF
your family?" He-''No; and | only
had wife and one child Pick Me
Up.
Mrs. Flatte-"Maria says she can
cook" Mr.. Flatte-"Oh, that girl
would say that she could read Chinese
lauudry-ticket. Kate Fields WASH
ington.
Student tell You frankly that |
shall not be able to pay for the suit till
next year. When will you have 1t
ready?" "Tailor-"Nexty year. File
gende Blaetter.
eyer kin talk, said philosopher
of the East Side, "'bout it's bein'
vulgar { wear di'mon's, but l notice
that them that has 'em wears 'em. -
Buffalo Express.
Young Men (at restaurant -" Hear,
You, we wanted these oysters cooked.
Waiter-"Den vot for you keep cry
rah rah all der dime? How vos dot?"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Griggs-'' why, don't you ever have
any trouble whatever in meeting your
bills?" Spriggs Trouble? Not a
bit of it. l meet 'em everywhere l
go. ."-Somerville Journal.
New Yorker-"You don't see any
grass in our streets, anyway. She
from PHILADELPHIA -"No-o. Must
be the climate. The soil Is certainly
rich enough. Brooklyn Life.
81 was careless this morning at
church and put dollar in the box
when intended to give only dime. "
"a case of contributory negligence,
so to speak Detroit Tribune.
Good Samaritan Don't you know
better than to drive that poor horse up
hill SO fast?" OConnor -"Up hill, is
it? Oh, begorra the nag's blind and
he can't see it !"-Life's Calendar,
He dropped cartridge in the slot
And then he sought the lair
or forest game, and soon he got
A fat and juicy bear.
81 think love Of football must be
inherent in tho Pigskin family"
"Whpt makes you think SOP" why,
whenever little Jennie wants to play
the game, his mother kicks. New
York Press.
During the siege of Paris r. French
lady, driven by hunger 30 eat her pet
dog, exclaimed when she had finished
her meal: "Poor Fifne how pleased
she would have been 10 gnaw her own
bones lie Papillou.
Mamma" Robbie, your face doesn't
look any cleaner than when / sent you
to wash it. Did you use tho soap?'
Robbie-"Ycs, and it made the dand-
lest soap bubbles you ever saw
blowed. Inter Ocean.
The Right Rev Mr. Cassook 81
greatly fear, my dear madam, that
your husband is desuaed TO reap
harvest of iares. Mrs. Swiftly Cay
'qudccd, l fear so, Bishop he has
hceu on one for the last three dpys,"