The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-05-19


regulated families papa's consent to
the engagement must be obtained, and
a the necessity for this formality is
pre- ,ented 10 the interested youth by
his inamorata, he may be excused for
feeling that as the biblical proverb
saws. there il time for all things"
this is the proper time for cold sweat.
And he has IL, too. for as the dismal
words are poured into the portals of
his reluctant ears. he feels that death
would be relief. But there is no help
for IL, SO he arranges with himself
time when h will call on his prospect
i've father-in-law and adjust matters.
He does not, in the language OF Old
Virginia, banker after the Job He
has a dim consciousness that an inter-
view with hangman on the gallows
would be a iovial, not TO say hilarious,
occasion by comparison. He defers tho
matter from time 10 time, giving him
self reprieve from the inevitable.
When, however, il can be no longer
deferred, he puts on as bold face as
in his depressed condition he can pos
sibly assume, and starts for the house.
Courageous as he may have been at
starting, however, he becomes a
pitabe picture before he reaches
his destination. His courage ooZes
out in an inverse ratio TO the
distance; that is, the nearer he
gets the faster IL oozes. He discusses
with himself whether he would bet
ter go on or run away out OF town,
or go of somewhere and quietly
die He tries TO think of something To
say and fails. He tries To think what
he shall answer II the father-in- law,
that is 10 bc, asks him any questions
l,f Ill Nd hnv
failure He walks past the house half
IA dozen times before he can make up
his mind TO enter, momentarily dis
cussing with himself the propriety of
boiling and letting the whole thing 60
by default. He fails 10 see the neces-
sity OF girl having any parents, and
although devoutly thankful 10 Provi-
dence for having provided him with a
sweetheart entirely To his taste, can
not understand why Providence could
not just as we'll have sent him an or
phan. Yet all this time he il, in all
probability, gravely in error, for tho
parents OF the young lady arc perhaps
dreading the interview just as much as
himself, ana will be just as much re-
lieved as he when IL Is at an end.
Blind rs kitten, however, he can not
see that their love for their daughter
te est, and that the obstacles which
they see 10 tho union are created sole
ly by regard 10 the future happiness OF
their child. AS "A rule, he finds that the
ordeal Is 10y no means so dreadful as
he feared IL would he, and before
tho business Is half over he realizes
| that parents, are not ogrcs lying
| In wait 90 scare timid lovers into
| fits, but kindly, considerate, we'll
meaning people, ready To overlook his
| embarras- -ment, and even, when nec-
essary, 90 hold out helping hand TO n
| suffering fellow-creature in distress
and smooth his path when they see he"
Is about To make adisgraceful stumble.
| In fact, before the interview IL over,
he has experienced radical change OF
heart with regard to parents'in-law,
and has made up his mind that as u
young lady's mother is u her the dear
! est one on earth, that husband must be
I either brute or boar who cusld ,slaI
terms OF disrcspect, allude to his
mother-in-law. But time would fail To
tell of the mis cries OF the engagement
and how the young lady keeps IL secret
by telling all her friends about IL. She
does IL, of course, because she IL proud
of him. She probably has no cause to
| be, for tho chances are that he IL
very ordinary fellow with nothing TO
commend him TO the attention OF any
body but herself, and tho other girls,
after reading his letters TO her, kindly
rendered for that purpose, and pro-
nouncing them lust lovely" go away
and wonder what she can see In that
man TO admire: but then she has said
just the same thing about their bcanx,
and 10 the honors are about even. The
poor fellow thought that the whole
trouble was over when he had asked
the lady and obtained tho cons1nt OF
her parents. but TO his terror finds
that IL was only Just begun. For there
are the miseries OF the engagement
with the twitting OF his friends going
on In "a never ccasing stream; the prep
arations for the wedding, and, worst
OF all, the wedding itself, with the sol
emn preacher In front his own trem-
bling self as ar aim for curious eyes,
and the grinning and giggling audi
ence In the background. or urse,
whep The affair passes from tho state
OF the engagement TO the condition OF
n public wedding, the groom loses his
prOminence and passes into insigni6-
canoe When compared with the bride.
He Is "A sort Of necessary nuisance, toll
Grated be cause there Is no getting
alopg without him, but long before the
close OF the ordeal he usually subsidies
into state Of harmless idiocy, me-
chanically grinning and shaking
hands with every one who comes near
him. that being the only thing he can
do for In his state OF mental vacuity,
-uch "a thing as C nvcrsation is out OF
the question.
Such are some q the miseries that
mon will undergo in order 10 get a
wife, and il Is perhaps q mcrciful dis
pensdtion OF nature that lovers are
deaf IN blind % what IS said ard done
about them Nature often makes won
derful provision for the comfort of her
creatures. hut in all the list II bless
ing5 none is more kindly in it's benef-
cence than this. People in their right
m ind would fight or 20 crazy over tho
half that lovers stand without so much
as pang. The lover is a pichyderm-
atous animal and so lg.g as he Is
forced % cndura tlc gibes"0f all crea-