The herald., 1894-12-25


| Black face comedian.
Lady slack wire Performer, per-
| feet lady.
serio- comic blonde, who pays SBoarders.
| her board
Infant prodigy.
| Sketch team, He and She.
The iuggler.
| The has been,
scene~fhe dining room of an actors
boarding house.
Song and dance man, to waiter-say Gull,
get move on, will YOU? My turn goes on at
z and it's quarter past now. What do you
| think am, an ostrich?
The other boarders, in chorus-Yes, get
move on.
Waiter moves towards dummy.
Slack wire woman, to proprietor-Say,
Pop, galvauize that corpse you've got waiting
on us. Pm late now.
Murmurs OF approval.
Proprietor calling down dummy-six plates
of soup for the museum people. and hurry 'em
along.
Waitress, to sketch team-whatll you h ave.
dark or white meat?
Lady abjectly-Isn't there any soup?
Waitress OF course there's soup. Whatl
you have, dark or white meat?
Male partner, fearing trouble-White meat!
white meat!
Infant prodigy, beating furiously on the
table with his fork-Ssy, bring mo something
to eat
Dog barks; waiter appe ars with six plates
OF SOUP.
Juggler, at table with prodigy,-Don't be in
a hurry, Billy. 1t isn't time for your turn
Spins plate on forefnger and balances fork
upon his nose Prodigy looks on with critical
approval
70 ool-f fana 7
you'd oughter seen the biz we did in Boston
Turned 'em away every night. We had the
orchestra under the stage i've out OF seven per-
formanccs
Chorus, in derision-And the band playei
TIA ra-ral
Soubrette-Rats!
Second member of acrobat team--Youse can
say rats, but we carry three carloads of scenery
and 81 performers, We've got to do business.
Song and dance man-Where do you work
here-dime museum? Roars OF laughter.
Sketch team smile feebly. Waitress brings two
plates of soup to them. Returns to dummy.
Brings two more pla.es of soup to juggler and
the prodigy. Tucks napkin under prodigy's
chin.
Enter stro comic, dressed in flaming red
silk Mother Hubbrd.
Proprietor, Fastening towards her And did
you get your express packages? sent EN- 10
your ROOM
sero-comic. languidly-Yes, thank you.
Proprie or-what'll you have to eat?
Soubrette-Its pity you wouldn't ask us
that sometimes.
Waitrr ss, to sketch tesm-Will you take tea
or coffee?
1eam-Well have that with our desert, ii
you please.
Waitress That's all right; but will you have
tea or coffee?
Tho n, ,ap Coffaa
Waitress Better take tea the coffee's on the
bum
Chorus at center table Say Pop, do we ever
get anything to eat?
Proprietor-In minute, please; when I've
waited on this lady y.-serves seiio-comic.
Lades-M hats the matter with US? We got
here first
Infant prodigy, beating furiously on his
plate Gimme me my dinner.
serio-com.c glalces superciliously about
the room.
Slack wire woman, sotto voce-she gives me
a pain in the neck
Black lac. comedi IN Say, If I was as clever
as she thinks she is I'd be drawing Billy
Sweatman's salary. I'd have money to burn
AIurmurs OF approval from center t Bile.
Proprietor, shouting down dummy-One
soup for the LADY, Three turks for the bonn
bast brothers
Juggler-Say, kid, chase over the grea e.
Well have 10 make a dinner CT bread and but
ter.
Prodigy, pounding his plate in a frenzy
Say, Mary do | eat do not eat
Waitress You'll eat when l get good and
ready. See?
Sketch team, appealingly-Co1ld we nave
two glasses OF water?
Waitress Yer tea is coming right along.
Enter has been. Deliberately take vacant
seat opposite seriocomic. They engage in sub
dued conversation
Notwithstanding down the dummy
Two turks for the sketch team Returns and
serves prodigy and the juggler.
Song and dance man, saving vigorously at
the turkey and pointing to Worces teshi
sauce Say, Kittie, chase down the lin ment
This eagle here has got rheumatism
Shrieks OF laughter from table opposite.
Serio-comic looks disgusted.
Waitress, to bombast brothers Pie or pud'
dim?
Bombast brothers. in chorus-Nix.-T They get
| up and exit. Soubrette gazes after them ad
miringly.
Has been, to serio-comic- say you play
Philadelphia next week. Are you acquainted
there?
Serioco comic-Yes, know nearly every one
in town.
Chorus from center tabl eyes I don't
tn ink.
waitress, 10 prOulgy-Nudl YOU nave,
mince pie or apple dumpli n?
| Prodgy-Both.
Has been to serio comic-If you were not, I
would give you letters OF introduction.
| Slack wire performer, aside-Gou bet your
sweet life it amt necessary
HISS been, TO waitress Mary, would you
kindly bring me my dinner?
Waitress-In minute. What Pll you have?
Has been-Td like little of the breast, and
a wing, a small portion OF the leg, plenty OF
stuHing and some cranberry. And, Mary! See
that there's plenty of gravy.
Waitress, to proprietor-One turk!
Proprietor, calling down dummy-One turk
for the long guy.
Song and dance man-Say, when do we get
the eighteenth course?
Proprietor, hurrying to center table-Say,
what a e you all kicking about? II you don't
like the place why don't you pay up I'D get
out?-To song and dance man-You! You
mean!
Song and dance man-Oh, there are others.
Prodigy, to juggler Say Jim, carry me up
stairs, will you? Pm stuffed.
Exit juggler with prod gy on his shoulders
Waiter serves final course to center table.
Proprietor waits on has been and the serio-
com c.
Sketch team, to wailress-will you kindly
give us our tea?
Waitress Tea is all out.
Sketch team exit disconsolately. Guests at
center table arise simultaneously and move
towards door
soabrette We'll, wasn't that the cheesy din
ner?
Slack wire woman Well, l should smile