The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-10-24
HUMOR OF TIE DAY.

High society is often simply low So
eiety in fine raiment. ALBANY Argus.
St. Louis now having depot, trains
will probably stop there for way pas
sengers.-Chicago Mail,
Teacher-"What is discretion?"
Bad Boy-"Gittin' over th fence first
when ye call mother feller names. -
Puck.
A soldier in summer camp making
love TO pretty girl shows the pleas
anter side of courtmartial. --Phila-
delphia Times.
The Opposite: Jones (facetiously)
"Got wife at last, eh?" Smith (sol-
emnly)-"No, my wife got husband
at last !"--Vogue.
Amy can influence Charlie
to propose?" Mable-"det some one
to tell him you'd be sure to reject
him. Detroit Free Press.
'It's all up with me, " groaned Sky.
lite rs he sank on the eighth stairway
endeavoring to reach his fiat after
hard days labor. Boston Courier,
Little drops o; water
Sprlnkled into stocks
Leave the gentle lamblet
Quite bereft OF rocks.
Philadelphia Life
The reason why people who sec what
they think are ghosts never grapple
with them is that they know it is dam
gerous to hug a delusion. Boston
Transcript.
Love for the sea is felt when one
leans over the rail of ship, looking
out over the deep blue ocean, feeling
ready to give up everything for it
Texas Siftings.
"They say Sphoftloy was badly hit
by that handsome Miss Phlirtem the
other night" "Pm not surprised. 1
saw her throw her eyes at him several
times. Buffalo Courier.
Van Pelt-"Are you believer in
the theory that one should marry
wife his opposite in temperament"
Enpec- "Don't bother about that;
they re all opposite enough. Puck.
l rather think I'm getting old
feel It in my bones;
And girls who called me Uncle Bob
Now call me Mister Jones
--Harper's Daz1r.
A girl is perfectly justified in look.
ing with suspicion on a young man
who tries to convince her that diamond
rings are no longer fashionable for en-
gagemept purposes Merchant Tray
eler.
Judge-"You say your boy was
kept in the house nights and read
books What books?" Father (of the
youthful accused)--" The Boy Ban
dts of Bombay series. "--Bostou
Transcript
conductor, said the weary com.
muter, 81 wish you would open this
window for me-" ooh, you do, do
you?" returned the conductor. ''Do
you take me for strong man?' -
Harper's Bazaar.
Maude-"Ob, he wrote me lovely
poem. 1t began, When You would
know why men go mad, go gaze into
your mirror" Bertha-"Whatb bosh
You're not so ugly as oil that. Pear
sons Weekly.
Wife-"The doctor says 1 will gain
ten or fifteen pounds if so away for
q month. Can't 1 go, dear?" Hus-
band-"Not much Why, not one OF
your gowns would fit you then. -
New York Herald.
Wylie talking over college days)-
"And Whatever became of Duller, the
only fellow in the class who was al
ways at the foot" De Biggs-"Pro-
fessional chiropo list, the last | heard. "
Buffalo Courier.
Second Husband - ''You needn't
growl because don't work. All your
first husband did was to whittle."
Weary Wife-"Yes; but 1 always
found enough Shawn IS after he got
through to build tho fire in the morn
ing. ."-Syracuse Post
"And what's your reason for lncreas-
ing the servants wages, pray?" her
friend asked. because my husband
complained that my dress and millin-
cry bills equaled the household ex-
penses, and want to show thoy do
not. "-Fliogende Blaetter.
"Did you divide your apples with
Freddie?' Robbie.-"No; give 'em
all TO him" "Did mama's generous
little boy enjoy seeing his friend eat
thom moro than having them him
self?' liobbio-"Yes; mobbe he'll
get sick en- then caa borrow his BIZ
cycle. Chicago Intor-Ocean.
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