The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-05-05

naliBt.
From the New York Tribune.
CRecitation room of a college, which in
cludes instruction in the bright, brainy
and breezy" journalism of the present
day. Enter professor and class.
Professor-Mr. Wagear, are you pre-
pared with your suicidel
Wagcar-Yes. sir.
Professor-Please outline 1t.
Wagear (reads) Thirty eight calibre
revolver clinched tightly in his right
hand. No cause assigned for the rash
act.N
Professor-How do you refer to the sui
eide himsef1
Wagear-As "the unfortunate man"
Professor - Correct In the second
days notice you should say that, "Among
the neighbors rumors are rife Of love
affair"
Wagear-S I not also say that
remains will be inferred in their last
resting place tomorrow"
Professor-Certainly. Mr.. Frenzyeye,
have you corrected your murder in ac-
cordance with my instructions9
Mr.. FrenZyeye professor.
Professor-Give US the ending of 1t.
Frenzyeye-"The deceased appeared to
have met his end by blow from blunt
instrument Foul play is suspected. The
police are retcent. but they are believed
to be possessed of important clews. Bad
blood is believed to have existed between
the dead man and his twin brother"
ProfessOr-Very good. Tomorrow you
may diagram the mans henhouse. Mr..
Youngfellow, what is a fad1
YounFfellow-A fad is anything which
happens more than twice.
Professionalism series of sandbag-
gines be fade
Youngfellow-No, sir. They would
constitute carnival of crime unprece-
dented in the history of the police de-
partmentn
Professionals Dickybird, how would
you speak of a heavy snOwstorm2
Dickybird-As ''veritabIe blizzard"
sir.
Professor-Give the opening for the
account of collision in which no lives
are lost.
kybird-"Y esterday a serious &C
cident was narrowly averted att
Professor-Very well-that will be
sufficient. Mr.. Callowlad, how do you
begin a sentence containing nothing out
of the ordinary
Callowlad-With the words oddly
enough"
Professor-Give the keynote of the re-
port OF burglary,
Callowlad-"Shotsw were fired after the
retreating miscreants."
Professor-ls other journalistic use ever
made of shotsl
Callowlad-Iu a shooting affair the man
fired at either returns the shots" or
seeks safety in the fight" Shots also
ring OUT and "startle the inmates of
the building"
Professor-How does a runaway horse
proceed}
Callowlad-He "dashes wildly"
Professor-A cable car over which con-
troll has been lost also dashes down a Hill
wildly, Supposed
| Callowlad--No, sir. 1t brushes down
the steep incline with terrible velocity"
Proiessor-Very good. Mr. Gocart.
! you may tell the class how the bright,
brainy and breezy journalist refers to peo-
! pie.
Gocart-"Painter Smith" "Ash-col-
! lector Jones'" "Cab Driver johnson, :"
"Stonemason Brown" Insurance Broker
Thompson"
Professionalism what circumstances
are all women beautiful?
| Gocart-ln court and by telegraph
| Professor-How is a woman married,
and how does man present his idea to
the publicl
Gocart-The woman is married "qui-
| city" and the man prepares a state
meut."
Professor-That will do Mr.
| GOcafJ-NOu told me TO look up the
| condition of farmers after rain.
Professor-True. / beg your pardon.
How do you find them2
"Jubilant."
Professor-Certainly Mr. Readyiaw,
are you prepared with your political out
| linei
Readyiaw-Yes, professor.
Professor-Name the friends of the DO
! litical journalist
dyjaw-" Prominent Citizen" IA
| leader high IN the councils of the party
and "well-known Western Senator who
does not wish 10 be quoted"
Professor Explain to the class the diff
| ference between statesman and a poll
| uciau.
Readyjaw-A statesman belongs TO our
party; politician belongs to the opposite
| party.
PROFESSIONALISM are the followers of
| thestatesman2