The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-06-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Girls may be little slower about
talking, while infants, than boys, but
they make up for it when they once
get started Hartford Journal.
Tom-"Are you sure you will never
forget that it was who gave you that
locketP" Miss Bangles-"Sure I'm
going to note it down in my memoir
sndum book. k."-Chicago Record.
Mrs. Earle-'Your daughter has
been studying painting, has she not?"
Mrs. Lamoyn-"Yes; you should see
some of the sunsets she paints. There
never was anything like them. New
York Observer.
Wool-''That was a mean trick
Clarklet's rival played on him." Van
Pelt-'What? ?" Wool-"He wrote
ooh, maid of Athens, ere we part,
ETC., in the girls album, and the rival
changed the "Oh" to sold. Harlem
Life.
''By Jovel" said Dawson, as he
glanced over a copy of the Russian al
phabet. "What a terrible thing il
must be to be deaf and dumb in Rus
sial Think of having to make those
letters with your fingers l"-Harper's
Bazaar.
Ragged Richard (insinuatingly)-
"Say, mister, have yer got eny sug-
gestions ter make ter a feller wat
amt able ter raise er dime ter git
shaved with?" Grumple (passing on)
Eyes; raise whiskers. Buffalo
Courier.
''You can always depend on the
newspapers" remarked the man who
was unpleasantly notorious. ''What
do YOU mean?" "No matter how
naughty you may be, they will never
turn your picture to the wall. Wash
ington Star.
Pegg-"Sometimo the absolute
faith my boy has in my wisdom makes
lme almost ashamed of myself" Potts
-"You need not worry. 1t will av-
Eerage up all right. By the time he is
twenty he will think you know nothing
at all. ."-Tid-Bits.
A stranger in Galveston asked an
old resident how malarial fever could
be distinguished from yellow fever.
"As a general thing" was the reply,
"you can't tell until you have it. II
you amt alive, then it is most likely
yellow fever. Texas Siftings.
A Woman's Wait "Wait just halfa
minute, said the lady to the elevator
man, "and I'll ride down in your car.
GAN right, ma'am," said the saga
cious elevator man, as he chucked his
lever over and began to sink below.
"The elevator will be running three
hours longer. ."-Chicago Record.
Remember, Witness" sharply ex-
claimed the attorney for the defense,
"you are on oathl" "There amt no
danger of my furgettin' it" replied
the witness, sullenly. 'I'm tellin' the
truth fur nuthin', when l could have
made "a by lyin' fur your side of the
case, an you know it. it."-Chicago Tri-
bune.
"Ah," remarked the man who wasn't
minding his own business to the man
digging trench in the street, "my
friend, you surely earn your living by
the sweat of your brow" 81 don't
know about that, " replied the man, as
he never stopped his digging, II git
the same pay whether l sweat or not. "
Detroit Free Press.
Little Boy--'I stayed in the parlor
all last evening when Mr.. Squeezem
was callin' on sister, Just as you told
me-" Mother-''That's a good boy;
and here is the candy promised you.
Did you get tired?" Little Boy-"Oh,
no. We played blind mans buff, and
it would have been lots of fun, only L
was it nearly all the time. Good
News.
The young clergyman had consented
at the last moment to act as substitute
for the venerable man who was accus-
toned to go to the Bridewell Sunday
morning and preach TO the prisoners.
"My friends" said the embarrassed
young man, as he rose up and faced
the assembled toughs and vagrants,
sit rejoices my heart to see so many
of you here this morning. Chicago
Tribune.
At an evening party Dumley was
introduced TO young lady, and after
remark about the weather he said
gallantly; "And have 1 really the
pleasure of meeting the beautiful Miss
Blossom, whose praises are being
sounded by eyerybody?" "Oh, no,
Mr.. Dumley," the lady replied, "the
beautiful Miss Blosssm to whom you
refer is a cousin of mine. "Oh, that's
it? Well, l thought there must be
mistake somewhere" said the gallant
Dumley. -Tit-Bits.