The record-union., 1894-03-29

vltes some of her most favored acQuaint-
ances to call on her. Soon one succeeds
in rendering himself more agreeable
than his rivals and he gradually estab-
llshes his position as permanent cavalier,
and she soon gets so used
to his visits and attractions as to look
on them as almost necessaries of life. by
degrees the cavalier draws his intimacy
closer. Then the woman
must be prodigy if she is not in great
danger of forteiting her fair fame"
Our novelists and playwrights base the
great majority of their stories and dra-
matte plots on the unhapplness of those
women. And as it is in society" so it is
IN tie ranks OF the middle and lower
middle classes-in fact, the bourgeoisie.
MI. GIblet, the poulterer, will not allow
MS daughter to wed the son of MIR. Spratt,
the fishEonger, unless he has ocular
demonstration of the fact that Spratt pere
VIII "cut uD warm,' and vice versa. The
great llnendraper who has made fortune
by the sale OF shirting and huckaback
urges his son to marry into the ranks OF
the aristocracy, and threatens to cut
him with the proverDial shilling unless
he does so. Not long ago the daughter OF
a Hebrew dressmaker espoused u Roman
Catholic noblemanl Indeed the children
of wealthy Jews frequently marry into
Christian families whose blood is pure
though their purses are light. In fact,
from the top to the bottom of the ladder
1t IS the same story-"proputty- -proputty
-proputty." The American poet summed
up the matter tersely and accurately when
he wrote:
o, dimes and dolIars-dollars and dimes!
An empty pockets the worst OF crimes!"
1t is only on rare occasions that we hear
any reference made to the ''Sanctity of
the marriage tie." This is well, for. re-
membering what society is, and has long
been. il would puzzle a Babbage to tell
US the precise amount of "Sanctity'
which still hovers over the institution of
marriage. a primary evil Of the existing
Institution of marriage is the mad haste
with which many matrimonial alliances
are concluded. The young couple who are
TO be Joined together IN holy niatrimony"
see one another, so TO speak, in false
colorS-at all events, not in their own
characters. They are thrown together
tor short time, when both are decked
out III the most attractive manner, and
usually under circumstances which do
not admit of any but the merest puerli-
ties OF the day being gossped about. A
tew hasty conversations al parties, where
everything Is artificial, and every body
playing Il part; an occasional chat in the
drawing room, where the girls mother
and sisters are watching her every move
nent and striving to catch what he is
saying; Il stolen meeting in the park or
elseWhere-these are often the only op-
portunities offered the husband and wife
Of the future to become acquainted with
each other.
Acquaintance is indeed the right
word for 1t; inasmuch as their knowledge
OF one another rarely or never develops
into anything more until the clergyman
has made them one. But, indeed, it may
be stated as an incontestible fact that un-
der the present conditions OF social life it
takes years for people 10 know each other
at all Intimately; yet, in face of this draw
back, parents willingly give their con-
sent to the marriage of their children,
well knowing that the young girl and the
young man are absolutely without any,
even the smallest, knowledge of each
others real character, temperament, dis
position, and good or bad qualities OPP
portunity of talking over the serious
matters inseparable from that existence
into which they are about to plunge. I'M
rejecting, yet nevertheless responsible,
they have never had. Each is more or
less infatuated with the other; and that is
the Alpha and Omega of their wooing.
a man no sooner endeavOrS to fathom
the ideas. capabilities, and general char
acter OF a girl TO whom be has been
drawn more than to another, than his
evident partiality for her is misinter-
preted, and he is asked by the eager
match making mother what his ''inten-
tions'' are. Thus he is too often bam-
boozled into what is called making a de-
"and he iinds himself engaged"
before he knows whether he is standing
on his head or on his heels. When, by
some chance or other he arrives at the
terrible conclusion that the young lady is
not at ali suited to his notions of what q
helpmate should be, it is too late for him
to retract, the least symptom of his wish
to do so being greeted by hint that the
matter will have to be referred to de-
family solicitor. Fearful of such the
nOuement as breach of promise action,
he holds to his written or spoken word,
and goes to the altar with the knowledge
that he is entering upon a marriage which
can but end In dire humiliating failure
Is it not crying shame and scandal that
the church and the law should sane
ton such unholy alliances, ending as so
many of them inevitably must and do
end, in the divorce court, or worse?
Surely woman who offers herself for
money in the street is a lesser offender
than one who sells herself at the altar for
a fortune. The former, indeed, does less
positive harm to the community than the
latter, who is guilty of bringing into the
world children for whom she has no real
and who are too often the fruit
Of transient animal passion.
Even worse are the marriages of igno-
rance, which, alas! only to often become
marriages. When mothers take
less trouble over the accomplishment
and appearance of their children, and
more over the early formation of their
characters and dispositions; when,
instead of bedizening them with
jewelry, tricking them out in
purple and fine linen, and rushing them
into marriage, for no other reason than
to get rid of them because there are others
growing up, and because they are crazy
to secure for their offspring big incomes
and what is fatuously termed social po-
sition"; when mothers steadfastly and
determinedly impress upon their prog
eny the absolute necessity of deep con-
sderation and reflection before taking a
step which can never be retraced, and
which, If hastily and thoughtlessly
taken, may embitter and perhaps ruin
several lives; when mothers become the
true guides, teachers and loving adj
visers of their children, instead OF being,
as now, their covert enemies; when they
impress upon them that passing fancy
or a spaSmOdic passion must not be mis-
taken for love, and that love which
tbs not based on mutual respect will
never serve as the foundation of married
happiness; and when they teach them
that marriage was not instituted for the
simple purpose of getting them "well
provided form other words, enabling
them to live the lives of drones; when, in
short, mothers will no longer think it
wrong" to discuss marriage and it's at
tendant responsibilities with their daugh-
ters, but will initiate them into the duties
and requirements of welded life, and
look upon them as their best friends in
stead of as burdens and ignorant beings,
from whom everything relating to the in
nermost life of woman, or of man, must be
iealously hidden, while girls must only be
permitted to see the artificial side of life,
and be callouSly left to find out the rest
for themselves-then, and not till then,
shall we have moral marriages, unions of
hearts and souls, in which the characters