The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1894-03-16
A neA1En ARGUMENT.
II Might Have been BETTER or Worse ~
They Had Only Had Dictionary.

TteV Had Only lnu "a DActtuNafNs
Itisn lafnentable fact that adincrcnce 81
opinion as to pronunciation sometimes be-
COMES provocative of irascible behavior.
Often what ought 90 be n didactic ioust de
neneratea into alteration amid a Tariarian
avalanche Of words.
Not long since n robust. disputstive col
legian-his clothes az the latest Pail Mall
cut. his carmine binrcatod necktio orna-
mented with a solitaire, his hair dressed
with oleomargarine aud periumed with
ambergris, his face innocent Of hiruto
adornment, but his mouth guilty 81 nico-
tine-informed seuilc, splenetic lawyer
that be did not pronounce according 20 the
dictionary.
"For." observed 'he Young man with an
air al research, "ia your Tuesdays address
Won said that Oh. sight ~ cercments sur
feed Co euervate an attorney that sala-
mandor treated for obesity with prussic
acid and pomcgrannte rind WAS disinclined
90 serpentinc movements; that during
souurifc discourse delivered To- coucourse
of Youths N rxiguous, sacrilegious dwarfs,
though under surveillance made grmaces
a. 40 aged man sitting on three Legged
stool. that one of these supple. exile fellows
of interesting -cnealogy, being rehuAed,
looked e1ntrite. hut Immediately frescoed
aud ma~ma'lle. that in au Aidinc edition
Of a legal work YOU read oi O. lugubrious
man afflicted with Virulcnt varioloid and
ruruIeul eafa ua, for which % iocund gyue-
eulozist iu .aoteI iodine and cayenne pep
per with syringe warmed iu caldron az
tUpid smp-a malpractice suit heiug the
result by tuc way, you have "a dictionary
Dictionary replied the lawyer 'pugh'
Us is % gaunry from which the pronuucia-
zion nend ills bis cOmmis-ariat with or
thospic romance- and yaearics-which tu
Linn grow into "a philugIc tetich, and this
f.rchism finds outward expression in "a su-
pcrcihous ostcutation of cruditc vacuity."
Nothing danuted. the young man con
tinuej. you said; According 20 prece-
dent 10 was obligatory upon him 90 plnit
Bis hair az his uomadic parents had done,
and precedent to stepping under the mis-
tietoc indulgcd in fulsome praise of him
self hoping thereby 90 induce % tavorite
girl Go join him. But She, being averse 20
UNDERGOING an ordeal so irrelra.gibl emil bar
i,.--.ug. refused. whereupou his features be
came immoble with chagrin. This is a
verbatim quotation You sometimes CON
suit dictionary
"Youug man" retorted the lawyer his
aguihnc nose Vuivoring with derisive dis
dain. ITO illustrate the inconsisteuce of a
dictionary, see bow dcmagogy is pronounc-
Ell, then turn to pedagogy
Pardon me. j was speaking Of you. In
yong pcroation this occurs: An incoguitO
communist, being commandant ou the from
tier. in one Of his hunting expeditions came
upon an Indian. who, 90 the accompani-
ment Of the sougting wind, was softly
playing a hageolet, for the purpose Of quiet
ing wounded hydrophohic Bengal tiger
ponned up in a howell The colonels com
uanion. a Malay from Singapore. acting as
seneschal or pursuivant, suggested hough-
ing the rampant animal or giving iJ some
dynamite morphine and saline yeast. A
moose was adjusted aud the nauseous dose
administered, whereupon the combative
tiger, coming In premature contact with a
dilapidsted divan. babe adieu TO things
subiunary and proceeded 10 grace the en-
pyreau You have a dictionary
The old man. becoming sngered az the
raillery Of this question. and az the cherubic
smile Of superiority with which 10 was ask
ell. launched forth ia am objurgating TRADE,
insisting that be did not regard himself sac
Tihcable TO the juggernaut Of orthoepy.
Have / dictionary Numbered he
Dictionary be hanged
Here arcLangels began the sonor0us
chanting Of the music Of a bolero, and the
disputants adjourned sine die.-Washing-
ton Post