Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-08-09

sprinkles OF Spice.
If things don't come your way, why
go round and head them Oh. Calves
ton News.
WENT down with his col0rs flying-
the painter when his staging broke.
Lowell Courier.
UNFORTUNATELY a mans funeral
sermon comes too late to live up to.
Syracuse Courier.
WHEN the devil comes to an empty
mind he Is sure of place to stay al
night Rams Horn.
No LoGICIAN has ever yet con-
WINGED . boy that It was time TO
come out of the water. Plain Dealer.
SHE-"What is the tariff" He
(trembling)-"Y0u wouldn't dare to
say that to me IL you we're man
Detroit Free Press.
DON'T fool with wasp because you
think he looks weak and tired; you
will find out he's all right In the
end.-Lowell Courier.
TALK about energy! Has anyone
more than the woman who works the
beefsteak FOUNDER that wakes you up
in the neutrality-suspicious. Globe.
MRS. oUsEBoLDER-"The iceman
didn't call this morning" Cook
"Yes, ma'am, he did. There is a
puddle on the doorsteps. Heaven.
worth Times.
A BOY never saw all Of circus;
he flrlnly believes that only half OF
it is there, the half that is on the
bills being In some other town.-At
Gibson Globe.
this Is what might be termed a
bit of sharp practice, murmurtd the
BARRIERS apprentice as he started In
on his task of learning to hone "a.
zor.-Buffalo Courier.
SHE-Mr. Bacon tried to put his
arm about my waist four or five times
last night. He-Is Mr.. Bacon freak
or is your waist SO very small?-
Yonkers Statesman.
SHE-@What did you mean by say.
ing that looked like chromo?" lie
-"Why-er-I meant to say that you
did not look as though you were paint.
A FIvE-YEAR-oLD boy with long
flaxen curls looks a great deal pref
tier to his mother than he does to
the short-haired little boys who play
with him. Journal
TEACHER-"The race is not always
to the swift. Do you understand the
inner meaning of that" Bright
Boy-"Sometimes the head feller's
tire gets punctured. Good Hews.
BILLTIRED-"The world owes me a
good livin' an that's all they be to it,.
Tom Wiser-"Yes, Oh boy, but you
see they is so many o you fellers that
she can't pay her bills Boston Cou-
rier.
THIS is the season of revenge. The
young man who was laughed at when
he slipped on the banana peel watches
the gigglesome young woman when
the hammock breaks. Washington
Star.
@BEa pardon" said the missionary,
"but you will translate his maiesty's
remarks again? Did he tell his daugh-
ter that he was to have guests to din
ner or for dinner" indianapolis
Journal.
Mrs. HALE Gust married) MARIA,
we will have eel as a second course
for dinner" Maria-"How much
ought I to get, ma'am?" Mrs. Hale
II think twelve yards will be sufl-
Client. Vogue.
Miss BELLEFIELD (relating an in
cident)-Then / dropped my voice,
and Mr.. Halket Qnterrupting)
That wouldn't hurt it. Yours is
such a soft voice, you know. -Pitts-
burg Chronicle.
'SHE-~Our engagement is ended.
have changed my mind" He-"H-m!
That's only a slight diilculty
wasn't counting you as an intellectual
woman, so your mind doesn't enter
into the case. Truth.
THE ENTHUSIASTIC ADMIRER-
Really, you have the most beautiful
natural complexion / ever saw in my
life. The Thoughtless Girl with sur.
prise)-Why, you have never seen it.
Steamship Bulletin.
"Do YOU believe in second sight?"
asked Dumley OF Jack Pott, and the
other answered grimly: Il saw q man
with four aces the other night. and
shall not try second sight for some
time. Bottom Commercial.
why" she said, as she watched
the tumbling waves come in, @do they
call them breakers Il cannot tell"
he replied in solemn tones. sun ess
it's because It costs me $3.50 a day to
get near them. Detroit Free Press.
AUNT AMANDA-@I hear the Cor
ners Is goin' to have free mail de.
livery" Uncle Reuben-@Another OF
them COMPOUNDED citified notions!
How's man goin' to hear the news
without goin' down to the postoffice?"
Arkansaw Traveller.
CALLER-I suppose, Grace, that
your being chosen valedictorian OF
the class win make considerable study
and preparation necessary. Grace
oh, no, indeed. I've left everything
to mother and the dressmaker.-Ark-
ansaw Traveller
CoUNTRYMAN Ito dentist) - II
wouldn't pay nothin' extra fer gas
Jest yank her ont II 1t docs hurt
-Dentist-@You are plucky. sir. Lea
me see the tooth" Countryman-
@Oh, faint me that's got the tooth
ache; It's my wife She'll be here in