The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1894-02-15
TRAININGOF BOYS.
A Timely and Interesting Aarticle
for Parents.
baltimore Sun. |

for Parents.
baltimore Sun
! A lady who has read with great
interest an article published in the Sun
recently in regard to the training OF
boys writes to express her concurrence
in the general ideas suggested, and to
add that the father also exercises much
influence in the development of boysh
character, and often influence Of an
unfavorable kind. In such cases, OF
course, the mother can not wholly
counteract the bad effect produced by
a careless or injudicious father, and
she can not be held morally response
BILE for results. a conflict of domestic
jurisdiction, for instance, must neces-
sarily greatly impair, if not wholly
destroy, the effect of good counsel
from either parent, and bad example
on one side may be more influential
than good axample on the other.
The father frequently undoes the
mothers good work with regard to
the boys of the household either
thoughtlessly or by lack of judgment,
and he can not be too careful both Of
his words and conduct, for the little
masculine pitchers about him have
very quick eyes and ears for everything
that paterfanlilias may say or do. The
father is the boys ideal of manhood
from the time he begins to toddle,
and he proudly models himself upon
him in every way. There is apparently
sort of innate feeling of superiority
in the boyish nature from his first
moment of distinct consciousness
kind of hereditary self-conceit and
belief in masculine prerogative, bred
by long ages of undisputed sovereignty.
As soon as he can crawl from one
chair to another he commences to lord
it over his sisters and to show his con-
tempt for the female sex generally.
He generously excepts his mother from
the operation of his lordly disdain,
but he is never satisfied until the
arrival of the blissful day when he is
allowed to discard skirts and put on
pants, the badge Of his supremacy.
He dates all events from that momen-
tous day, blotting out the previous
period of petticoats as of no value, and
his self-esteem is increased thousand
fold by his assumption of the new
garb, and his mother, too, is as proud
of the event as he IS.
In dealing with her boys the mother
has to combat this instinct of over
weening self-appreciation if she is to
turn out a creditable product from the
domestic factory, and she must begin
her efforts early if she is to secure a
irm and lasting grasp on the boyish
character. Unfortunately she and all
the other female members OF the family
often unite in ministering to the con-
ceit of young hopeful, and strengthen
ing his inborn conviction of his own
importance Domestic rules are fire.
quently relaxed in his favor, and
mother and sisters bow down to him
as if he were not made of the same
clay as members of the female sex, but
of some princely and infinitely precious
material. Even in ordinary conversa-
ton people talk as if the boy were a
superior being, congratulate their
friends with especial fervor when boys
are born to them, and frequently well
come little feminine stranger with a
sigh of regret, as if she were a distinct
disappointment and failure.
No wonder that many boys are
spoiled in such an unwholesome at
mosphere of adulation. They would
be more than angels if they were not.
The way to prevent such results is to
take the child down from his pedes-
tai and let him understand that he is
of the same mould as his sister, that
his rights are no greater and no less
than hers, and to give him the advan-
tage of a training as wise and as care
full as that by which the infant feminine
is developed. 1t should not, of course,
be the same, but it should be directed
by the same spirit of wisdom and care
that produces such good fruits gener-
ally in the case of girls. If the boys
were half as carefully trained as their
sisters their chins would grow stronger
instead of weaker, and they would
always give as good an account Of
themselves. Self-control, unselhsh-
ness and honorable conduct are
among the things that must be taught
to make a valuable man and citizen
out of the boy. These lessons can be
best taught by the mother at the
beginning of his life. The early years
are hers and they are the ones that
will ultimately count most heavily.
Upon her answer to the question:
What will she do with them ?-must
depend largely the future of her boy.