Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1894-06-06
THE MODEL DEMOCRAT.

LtLD mODHb DDu OOIthI
1t is the unanimous agreement of
those who have carefully studied nat
ural history that the whale has the larg-
est, and the Government mule the hard.
est cheek, and when we calmly and
studiously contemplate this facial ar
mament of the model Democrat, we
are presented with a combination Of
responsiveness and induration forcibly
reminding us of the cetacean rover of
the seas and the obtrusive quadruped
that figures so conspicuously in the his
tory of the late war.
This model Democrat, as if he had al
ways on his hands a happy family
whose harmony could not be disturbed,
is ever injecting his insolence into the
domestic affairs of the Republican
household, and he is never 80 serene
amiable and patronizing as when he
sees in its internal wrangles a possibil-
ity for himself or some dear friend to
slip in and carry off the prize. When
an over anxious and over confident Re-
publican is beaten for a nomination and
kicks out of the traces of party order
and discipline, did you ever notice the
assiduous attention and prodigal lavish
ment of destinations affections with
which he cultivates him ? Did you
ever note the grave completeness, the
sad tuned Establishments of his solemn
coincidence with his unfortunate new
found favorite, and then the ELUSIVE
gaiety and waltzing jubilations of his
fresh born hope as he turns away from
this wailing monument of outraged
rights and dishonored claims to the
frightened prospects of his own party's
success?
All, this model Democrat is the Jim
Dandy of politics, the inspirer and
mentor of Republican recalcitrants,
the condoler of Republican unfortun-
ates, whose unselfish and uncompen-
stated mission 1t is to delve into the
wrongs and injustices of the Republi.
can party and weep and wall and gnash
his teeth over its ingratitude. In the
little trouble which has overtaken the
Republican ticket, the model Democrat
imagines he has q very large sized job
on his hands and his favorite haunt is
among the disgruntled. His massive
and indurated cheek is called upon to
do the principal part of the service in
this momentous emergency. 1t has
never failed him in dilating~ deliberately
and exquisitely upon matters that con.
Germ him not, but, as will be the case
in this instance, nothing has occurred,
in the way of providential interposi.
lions, to interrupt the stoical continuity
of his final and unequivocal discom-
futures. His nature Seems to partake
of the induration of his cheek and the
unbroken monotony of the punishments
for his o~ficiousness is met with stolid
indifference.
He is nov present with his old time
illusions of fearful sympathy on the
n hand and burning indignation on
the other. His trembling lips alter.
nately drop the honey of fattery and
anathemas of scorn and contempt. He
MARBLES his cajolaries with the liquid
sweetness of a tropic song bird, and then
elects from the uncapped volcano Of
his wrath stirred sould the lava spume
of consuming excavations. He is the
soft effulgence of the aurora falling
upon springs emerald vestures, the
zephyr wandering over slumbering seas,
and then the driving storm cloud, neck
clad with thunders, lightnings darling
from the eye and hurricanes writing
and fighting in the sheath of his cyclic.
mic tail.
"with smooth Discrimination skilled tc
grace,
A devils purpose with an angels face"
AS to fomenting fatal discords in the
Republican party the occupation of the
model Democrat is gone. He has ar
rived entirely too late this season. He
brought with him no new snares and
beguilements. The wear and tear Of
constant usage has reduced his old art'
and devices to transparent %thinness-s
thinness as thin as "a web of woven
wind" This is the year of Republic
a victories from the top to the bot
tom of the roster. The Republican
party is in no mood to tolerate foolish
ness nor to countenance its members
who, from any cause rfor any motive
array themselves against its organized
movements. Its unification will b.
complete. 1t will present a solid from
10 the enemy. 1t is now mobilizing it
forces for August and November. The
disaffected few, who may choose to fall
out of the ranks, or fire into the rear
will find their solitude very oppressiv,
and their punishment very acute.
1t is now in order for the model Dem