davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Teacher-"What is the meaning
of the phrase, Adding insult to in
juryp'" Tommy-"Why, it's like
mamma sending me into the gar
den to cut switch for her to whip
me with. h."-Philadelphia Record.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Teacher-Now, Johnnie, we've
been hearing of the changing sea-
sons; how can | tell when fall is
here? Johnnie-'Cause everybody's
clothes smell of campher balls
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

"The brides father gave her
away, did he notP" more than
that. He threw in $150,000 to
boot" ."--Tammany Times.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

"Johny, you're not tanned much
for a boy who has been at the sea-
shore" "Nope; I've been good
Mommer said she'd tan me if
didn't behave, an ! behaved. v
Cincinnati Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Now, lady, look beautiful and
happyr' said peripatetic photog-
rapher to young woman. $50
that'sit! THERE haveyou! Now
you may resume your natural ex-
preston. "-Ex.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

When one is intoxicated by laugh
ing gas ought he to be called air,
tight?-Lowell Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

To-day, he said, I'm forty-fve;
Just forty-fve, to-day-no more
And in year, if I'm alive,
I'll be-let's see--about forty.
four.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

"Mr. Sadly tells me that you have
given him new courage and hope" !"
Doctor-"I'm glad to hear that; I'll
put it in the bill now" Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Young Author (who thinks him.
self famous ii believe / should
enjoy my vacation better if | could
90 incogonito. Friend-Good idea,
Travel under your nom de plume.
New York Weekly.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
To-day, he said, I'm forty-fve;
Just forty-fve, to-day-no more.
And in year, if I'm alive,
I'll be-let's see--about forty
four.
When one is intoxicated by laugh
ing gas ought he to be called air
tight2-Lowell Courier.
"The brides father gave her
away, did he notP" more than
that. He threw in $150,000 to
boot. ."--Tammany Times.
"Mr. Sadly tells me that you have
given him new courage and hope"
Doctor-"I'm glad to hear that; I'll
put it in the bill ow."-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
He-"I heard report that Gus
Dudeleigh had fallen and hurt his
head"
She-"Well, there's nothing in
."-Munsey's
Ethel-"What did you do when
your fiance said he was going to
have his mustache shaved Off"
Maude-"Oh, | set my face against
it."-Harlem Life.
Wife-And did Mr.. Gray really
say | was positively dove-like?
Notwithstanding of that sort.
He said you were pigeon-toed,
beleive.-Boston Transcript.
Bashful Batchelor-Say didn't
you find it pretty hard work to pop
the question: Bold Benedict--Not
at all; you see l married a widow
New York Morning Journal.
He-"You are the only girl
ever loved" She-"Oh, never
mind that. The main question is
am | the only girl you ever will
love. Cincinnati Tribune.
Shop girl--Really, madame, that
white feather in your hat makes
you look ten years younger. Old
maids that SO? Then give me
another.-Fliegende Blaetter.
"She just dotes on poetry
"She does? Then | think I'll try |
my luck with her, for if she loves
poetry she isn't looking for man
with money."-New York Press.
"How did you come to break with
Miss Sweetlips? You always said
she was as good as gold" "Yes;
but | got acquainted with girl
who had the gold" Boston Tran
script.
Edith-"What m axes you think
that Charley is in love with you?"
Maude-"Why, ma talked to him
over an hour last evening, and he
really seemed to enjoy it."-Boston
Transcript.
"The Vigilant is fine boat for
sailing" said Mr.. Burrows; "but
she can't do much in stays "Why |
don't she take 'en off when she's
racin'?" asked Mrs. Burrows
Harper's Bazaar.
Young Author (who thinks him.
self famous)-I believe should
enjoy my vacation better if could
go incogonito. Friend-Good idea.
Travel under your nom de plume.
New York Weekly.
Nov, lady, look beautiful and
happy" said a peripatetic photog-
rapher to a young woman. $50
that'sit! THERE haveyou! Now
you may resume your natural ex-
preston. ."-Ex.
"Johny, you're not tanned much
for a boy who has been at the sea-
Shore" Nope; I've been good
Mommer said she'd tan me if /
didn't behave, an ! behaved. v
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Ethel-"What did you do when
your 6ance said he was going to
have his mustache shaved OFF,"
Maude-"Oh, | set my face against
it."-Harlem Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

He-"I heard report that Gus
Dudeleigh had fallen and hurt his
head"
She-"Well, there's nothing in
it."-Munsey's
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

"She just dotes on poetry
"She does? Then | think I'll try
my luck with her, for if she loves
poetry she isn't looking for man
with money."-New York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Shop girl--Really, madame, that
white feather in your hat makes
you look ten years younger. Old
maids that so? Then give me
another.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12
COLLECTIONS

Promptly attended to, and remittances
made TO oil parts of the country by drafts.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Wife-And did Mr.. Gray really
say | was positively dove-like?
Notwithstanding of that sort.
He said you were pigeon-toed, /
beleive.-Boston Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

"The Vigilant is fine boat fol
sailing" said Mr.. Burrows; "but
she can't do much in stays" 'Why
don't she take 'en off when She.
racin'?" asked Mrs. Burrows
Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Edith-"What m AXES you think
that Charley is in love with you?"
Maude-"Why, ma talked to him
over an hour last evening, and he
really seemed to enjoy it."-Boston
Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

Bashful Batchelor-Say didn't
you find it pretty hard work to pop
the question? Bold Benedict.--Not
at all; you see married a widow
New York Morning Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

"How did you come to break with
Miss Sweetlips? You always said
she was as good as gold" "Yes;
but | got acquainted with a girl
who had the gold" Boston Tran
script.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-09-12

He-"You are the only girl |
ever loved" She-"Oh, never
mind that. The main question is
am | the only girl you ever will
love. Cincinnati Tribune.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
GROWERS SELECTIONS.

William Buchanan, of Iowa, Made
Minister to the Argentine Re.
public.
WASHINGTON, Jan. 17.-William It.
Buchanan, nominated today for minis
ter to Argentine, is 4 resident of Sioux
City, 10. He published a paper when
eighteen years old in Indiana, and there
began his career as Democrat. lie
was aTterward clerk of the Indiana
house OF representatives. 1t 1875 he
moved to Iowa. lie was first identified
with the Sioux City corn palace, and is
given credit for the success which il
attained. He was talked of as a caDdi
date for governor, but when Horace
BOies consented to run third time
made no further canvass. He declined
to be a candidate for congress in his
district.
He was presented for secretary of
agriculture, aud his name was given
consideration by the president. Gov.
BoIes appointed him a worlds fair COM
missioner, and he was made chairman
of the agricultural department.
The president today sent to the senate
the following nominations: State -
William t. Buchanan, of Iowa, to be
envoy extraordinary and minister pleni-
potentiary of the United States to the
Argentine Republic. Allen Thomas, of
Florida, TO be consul of the United
States at La Guayara. Venezuela. Ed.
ward 5. Tingle, of Montana, to be con-
sui of the United States at Brunswick,
Germany.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18

replied, GROSSLY, "Why. woman. am
looking to see if the cloot is freezing, to
see if there will be any curlin' this
morning"
Mr.. Redmond is prominent whole
sale merchant in Winnipeg who has just
come down as visitor He is rela-
tive of ParneIl, the late great Irish
statesman, and has recently returned
from New York, whittier he went to in
terview some leading Irishmen in the
Interests of the Irish cause. Since ar
riving in the city he has fallen in with
several prominent Home Rule men, and
yesterday he started subscription list
(Which he headed with very liberal
sum)fOr the cause of the land of ''spuds."
He received several substantial contri-
buttons and finally met well-known
lawyer, who showed great deal of in
terest in the good work, but before do
ing anything to help it on he suggested
that they go out for some refreshment.
Redmond says that he will never go
there any more. at any rate with that
member of the bar, because it costs too
much, and for fellow away from home.
Willie Georgeson, the pretty boy, is
along, of course He has been making
frantic efforts to have a photo taken
ever since his arrival, and yesterday
visited a gallery where there is also a
clairvoyant situated. He said, when
asked about the photograph, that he
broke the camera, but 1t is the opinion
of the boys that he had his fortune told,
and forgot all about the photograph.
To while away some of the time,
which begins to hang heavily on their
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
rill, Wis; William Finney. of Rich
mond, Va; W. w. Miller, of Langley {,
s G.
THE NEW TREATY.
Yang Yu Not Making Much Prog
resS in Washington.

WASHINGTON, Jan. 17.-There is rea-
son to believe that Yang Yu, the Chi
nese envoy in Washington, Is not max
ing much progress towards securing the
new treaty which was TO take the place
OF the one considered nullified by the
Geary law. Upon his first arrival here
1t was hoped that the United States was
about to be offered opportunities for
valuable extension of our trade priv
ileges in China. Expectation Of this
seems to have been based upon refer
enceS drawn from the Chinese envoy's
talk. His views, and, 1t was supposed,
those OF his own government, were so
entirely III accord with our own, that it
was supposed this troublesome QueS-
tlon would not prove an obstruction to
an agreement. The compulsory photo
graphing law is the stumbling block.
To compel Chinaman to be photo
graphed he considers an indignity. 1t
1t Is said to be the belief of the Chinese
envoy that this requirement was i'll
serted with the intent to atfront the
Chinese residents of this country. He
considers that his sovereign is affronted
III the same degree.
his may prove an unSurmOuntable
obstacle to the agreement for treaty
from which few weeks ago much was
hoped for the good of our trade priv.
ilegeS in the. rich Oriental of the Chinese
emDirp
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
Pension Examiners.

WASHINGTON, Jan. ia statement
has been prepared at the pension office
showing the number of special exam
liners of the bureau now in the field
from each state, as follows:
Alabama, s.; Arkansas, 2; Connecti-
cut, 2; California, 4 Colorado, l: Dis
trict of Columbia. 8; Georgia, 4 Indi-
ana, IS; Iowa, 6; Illinois, Is; Kansas, Z;
Kentucky, 9; Louisiana, 8; Massachu-
setts, l; Maine, 4; Michigan, IL; Mary
land, 2; Minnesota, L; Missouri. 16;
Mississippi, 8; North Carolina. Z; New
Jersey, 5; Nebraska, B; New York. 81 !;
Ohio, IS; Oregon, |; Pennsylvania, Is;
South Carolina, 4; Tennessee. 8; West
Virginia, 6: Texas, 4; Virginia, IL;
Washington, /; Wisconsin, 2; Vermont,
2; Rhode Island, |; Oklahoma, l.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
REFORM IN THE SENATE.
The Civil Service and Election
Bill Under Discussion,

WASHINGTON, Jan. II. - The civil
service law and the way it is adminis-
tered was discussed in the senate to-
day. Senator Berry took exception to
the policy of allowing fourth class post
masters to remain in Office in order to
carry out the spirit of the law. Senator
Gallinger, of New Hampshire, criticised
the law, and said it ought to be repealed.
Senator HOar, OF Massachusetts, defend
ed the law, ana Senator Cockrell, of
Missouri, said that it was a good law if
carried out according to its intent and
purposes. The federal elections bill
consumed couple of hours, and Sen
ator Chandler (Bep., n. Fl y. tried to Sc
cure an amendment recognizing the
right of federal supervision over Sec
tions so far as to permit every candidate
for congress the privilege of appointing
watcher in each precinct to guard his
interests and the registration, but vote
was not reached.
Senator Gray Dem, DELI tried to get
the Republicans to name day when
final action would be taken on the bill,
but the request was eyaded, and Senator
Frye said he wanted to hear the other
side discussed.
At 5:l5 the senate adjourned until to-
morrow.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
New Use for Oninn.

LONDON, Jan. 17.-The Times tomor-
row will publish the following: The
opium commission is now in session at
Umbellay. At today's hearing Miss
Greenfield, superintendent Of the
woman's hospital, described the custom
of female infanticide by the use of
opium among the poorer classes. Miss
Carter, medical missionary, confirmed
the evidence of Miss Greenfield, and
mentioned case in which mother
destroyed seven of her children by the
use of opium. Miss Carter admitted
that such mothers use other meaus if
opium is not available. Several other
witnesses declared that in their opinion
the use of opium was harmless.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18

JACKSONVILLE, Fla, Jan. 1.-THE
Duval Athletic club makes this. their
final and most positive statement that
the contest between Corbett and Mitch
ell will take place upon Jan. 25:
Reports have been sent out that Gov.
Mitchell has ordered troops to Jackson
vile for the sole purpose of suppressing
the contest. Notwithstanding these re-
ports, the club reiterates its past asser-
tlons, and for the past week has been
arranging for an emergency of the kind,
and should the troops be sent here-
while the club does not believe that any
violence would be participated in by
them, yet it would not subject its pa
irons to the slightest danger Of any
kind. SO complete are it's arrange
ments that, should an emergency arise,
on the morning of Jan. 25 it is prepared
to handle 5000 people with the greatest
convenience.
This will be no Richburg affair,
where the people were subjected to
long, tedious and hot ride, but it will be
done as quickly and as conveniently as
though it occurred in the arena now
ready for the affair. Once more we say
to all friends and lovers of boxing. If
you are in Jacksonville on Jan. 25, 1894,
and care to see the Corbet tt-Mitchell
contest, you can do so after arranging
for the necessary tickets"
1t is understood that should the troops
be massed in Jacksonville, which now
looks probable, the Duval club will re-
fund the money already paid in for
tickets and decide upon the price to be
paid for tickets to the new meeting
grounds after the crowd has been ''siZed
up" The Duval club have evidently
explained their plans to the two princi-
pals, for tonight Corbett issued the fol-
lowing:
II take this opportunity of informing
my friends throughout the country that
have received assurance from the
Duval club today that warrants me in
saying that the contest beWeen Charles
Mitchell and myself will positively take
place in jacksonville OF in that city's
immediate vicinity on Jan. 25, providing
both OF the principals appear in the
ring. JAMES j. CoRBETT."
1t is said that Mitchell has also agreed
that the fight is certain. The fact that
the Duval people have completed ne
gotiations for a large e-sized tent licked
oit lOillSHts anu, cOupleu Will the LacG
that work on the arena has been prac-
tically Abandoned this seems to indi-
cate that the battle will take place
outside OF the city.
Gov. Mitchell has admitted to Man.
ager Bowden that should the contest
be pulled off outside of Jacksonville it
would be Impossible for the militia to
prevent it. The militia will be in Jack
sonviiie on the 25th, however, and al
though they will probably be unable to
find the battle ground. the governor
will have the satisfaction of having
done everything Ill his power to pre-
vent the fight.
A dispatch from st. Augustine to-
night says THAT Sheriff Perry, of St.
Johns county, has announced his deter
mination to prevent the Corbett- Mitchell
contest. He will call upon the governor
for troops if necessary.
/ No alarm is felt here over the sheriff's
declaration. as it is not believed here
that he will know where the battle will
take place.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
Big Coursioe Meeting

ST. LOUIS, Jan. 1.-THE st. Louis
Coursing association is preparing 70
hold big championship coursing meet
ing, open to the entire United States. at
Brentwood next March, III conjunction
with the big bench show TO begin in this
city under the auspices Of the st. Louis
Kennel clnb, March q 10 23 Inclusive.
1t is expected that the bench show and
the championship cOurSing meetewill
serve as a double attraction in drawing
canine tanciers Of all sorts to St. Louis.
The feature of the Brentwood char
pionship will be siXtyfour dog stake,
with guaranteed value of $1,000. An
entry fec of $40 will be assessed for this
event. The large cash valuation to the
winner wilt enable st. Louis coulsing
enthusiasts to witness contests between
the highest gfsde hounds in the West.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
FREE WOOL FIXED.
It Goes Into Effect When
Wilson's Bill Passes.
FREE TRADE JOHNSON WINS.
Ways and Means Committee
Suffers a Defeat.
NANY REPUBLICANS FLOP.
Senator's Talk About Civil
Service Reform.
ERR TI0H DHT nIcnHccEn
ELECTION BILL DISCUSSED.

WASHINGTON, Jan. 1.-THE ways
and means committee suffered its first
defeat today, when, by vote of l12 TO
lO2, the committee of the whole rejected
Mr.. Wilson's amendment fixing the
date on which free wool should go into
effect on Aug. l, 1894, and adopted the
substitute of Mr.. Johnson, the Ohio
free trader and single taXer, making it
20 into effect Immediately on the pass
age of the bill. Many of the Republi-
cans voted with the radical Democrats
for the substitute.
1t was Mr.. Wilson's intention, had
his amendment prevailed, to have Of
fered an amendment making the woolen
schedule go into effect Dec. l, 1894; but
when the committee overruleu him he
decided TO let the latter schedule stand
and 90 into effect with the rest of the
bill in June, 1894. Just before the vote
was taken Mr.. Wilson stated that the
jobberS were now hesitating whether to
place their orders for fall goods here or
abroad, and if the committee amend
ment carried the home manufacturers
would make next fall's goods.
Only one other amendment was acted
On today-to allow the free entry in
bond of machinery, as well as the ma
terials used i'll the construction of ships
for foreign account. The rest of the
day was spent discussing the amend
ment of MIR. Burrows to substitute the
print wool schedule for that proposed
by the Wilson bill.
At $50 the house took a recess until s
O'Clock.
At the night session Mr.. Sperry Dem.,
COHIl.) made vicious assault on the
Wilson bill on the ground that in the
face Of a certain deficit in the treasury
of $4,000, 600 by June 30 next, in the face
of the appeal of the secretary
of the treasury for bond is
sue. the Democratic ways and means
committee had brought in a bill. osten-
siblY to raise revenues, which, if passed
would decrease the present estimated
deficit to Sl45, ,000,O00. 1t was a free
trade bill, and if the issue between free
trade and protection were ever pre-
sented to the people of the country the
verdict would be Overwhelmingly in
favor of protection. The other speakers
were MessrS. Bower Dem. n. CO.,
Hunter Dem., I'D, Hulick (Rep., o.,
and Post (Rep., Ill.l.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
The Barley Tax.

WASHINGTON, Jan. 17.-The Demo-
cratic members of the ways and. means
committee have decided on an important
amendment to the pending tariff bill. 1t
covers the item of barley, but It's effect
extends to the extensive manufacture of
beer and various other products. The
rate already prepared in the Wilson bill
is 20 per cent ad valorem. Mr.. Whiting
proposed that this scale be advanced to
80 per cent, and after much discussion
the amendment was agreed TO. The
change Is said to be OF special interest
to the beer industry of the West, which
uses American barley. and against the
Eastern beer industry which draws its
supply of barley from Canada.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
Gov. Mitchell refuses.

NEW YORK, Jan. IA special to the
Press from Tallahassee, Fla. says: Man
ager Bowden, of the athletic club, made
proposition to Gov. Mitchell last night
i'll the Leon hotel to pay over S25, 900 to
charitable institutions of the state if the
governor would withdraw his opposition
= to the contest. The governor listened
complacently to what Mr.. Bowden had
to say. Then, in his quiet way, he said !:
"FlOrida is not rich state. but there is
some money in its treasury. There is no
necessity for Florida to enter into COM
pact with the so-called Duval club, an
organization without charter. Mr..
Bowden, why don't you go and bother
Gov. Northen, of Georgia, with your
SchemeS?'
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
Glove Contest at Tamna.

T AMpA, Fla. Jan. IA glove con-
test has been arranged for Friday night
between Joseph Robertson. Of Tampa,
and James johnson, of New York, for
S1,000,an also one between Ed TillmaD,
of Jacksonville and Butler Greer, of
Baltimore, for $500. The Tampa city
council is encouraging the contests,
claiming. as does the Duval Athletic
club, that there is DO law in Florida
against prize lighting. AS Tampa is
Gov. Mitchell's home he is likely to be
heard from,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-01-18
GERMAN GOSSIP.
The Emperor Names a Day to Call
on Our Minister Runyon.

BERLIN, Jan. 1.-THE emperor today
held the chapter Of the Order of the
Black Eagle and invested Prince
Ferdinand OF Bulgaria, Count Won
Enlenburg and Prince Won Schaun-
bourg-Lippe with that decoration.
The committee of the municipal gov
ernment which was appointed to con-
siuer the matter has rejected Herr
Singers motion to the effect that days
work of eight hours should be provided
for municipal employees. The municipal
committee adopted motion to provide
extra work on the various public build
ings during the rest of the winter.
By order of the emperor all ladies and
gentlemen of the court will call upon
the United States ambassador, Hon.
Theodore Runyon, Tuesday.
The oberhaus, having forwarded to
the government the anti-semite petit
tions for an inquiry INTO the secret laws
as they affect the Jews, the latter has
returned the petitions with the reply
that such an inquiry is impracticable.