Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1894-12-15
WILDER WITH THE WITS.
Ho Hoard All tho Drolleries OF
Cleveland, Harrison and Depew.
How Great Men Make Fun-Thc Merry
Little Man Writes About tho Anon.
tiles OF tho Vino and Wal.
nut Period.


They do such things and they say
such things--at dinners.
During Che day after-dinner speakers
make their livings with their heads,
Mt night they make speeches with their
hearts.
At big dinners you get souls set TO
Dvorak symphonies The Utmost me"
percolates through the diaphragm of
the day-worker and drops out ut the
Joint of the tongue--word by word
The smoke of the wors.a.day world
breaks up and scattcrs and disappears
in breeze of bon mots
Imagine Chaunccy NJ. Dcpcw, prcsi.
dent Of the New York Central rail.
road, cracking jokes, even in his mind,
during business hours. lie dare not.
They would pop like torpcdoes all
along the track and result finally in
a general wreck from end to end of the
Vanderbilt system.
No; President Dcpcw thinks no trflcs
''during hours" II he do. Col. Dual
smothcrs them in committee, and they
die deserved death.
But, oh, what difference in the
evening!
DIR. Dcpcw then pulls down the blind
on President Dcpcw and gives Chnunccy
q chance. Thus ut dinners, he comes
70 be "Our Chnurccy."
Gen. Horace Porter has wit, humor,
memory, but he lacks the magnetism
and go" of "Chaunccy."
DR.. Dcpcw's great power lies In his
power for trotting up the right word
at tho winning time, rs when at q late
hour one evening he compared himself
70 the chnmois because he found him
self continually going from jag TO jag.
OF nll dinners, those of the Clover
club stand unique for sparkle. II Is
hard to describe a Clover club dinner
might as we'll try to bottle up cleo.
tricity. The company Is o group OF
guycrs. Moses p. Handy, q former
president Of the club--the gentleman
who gave publicity to the worlds fair
lis prince Of guycrs. by the by, he
Ono night ut the Clover club In Phil
adclphia Handy arose, with Senator
Jones, Of Nevada, sitting near, and
after having graphically outlined tho
attractive personality Of that silver
magnatc by way Of introduction, I
noticed even that veteran of tho upper
house squirming and reddening In his
seat, knowing we'll the guy guns that
would be turned upon him Us soon rs
he got upon his pins. He was visibly
affected for the worse. but not
moro SO than another gentleman, for
no sooner had Handy worked tho sen.
ator up almost to the starting point
than he said: notwithstanding such
seductive talent within reach. VIC can
peg holc higher by calling upon
Col. Thomas Ochiltree, Of Earth, who
will now address YOU" II Is needless
to say that both gentlemen looked Us
II they had just been shot out by mis-.
take from Xalinski's dynamite gun on
the Nicthcroy and missed the mark.
And It came to pass In that time that
the said Ochiltrcc had had his leg
broken by the Pennsylvania railroad.
He was suing the railroad because his
| leg WINS brolscn-or he WINS brokc--one
or the other. Tho officials all knew Of
this, and yet loved him. Ono OF these
| officials was present. Col. Ochiltrcc
Ind been using crutchcs In order to
keep the leg from healing while tho
suit was In progress. But II was foully
suspected that he was merely doing tho
litigntivc limb. For ono day. on SEQ.
ing some pretty young lady friends
across Chestnut street, he dropped his
crutches, TWAS said, and went with u
slsip to greet them. When tho colonel
was called upon, tho Pennsylvania Off.
ciuls remarked: Colonel, where arc
your crutchcs?"
| "Undcr the table, where you will be
before the dinner In over" and tho
scorer marked up carom for tho
colonel against a goose-egg for tho
Pennsylvania potentate.
Among the gentlemen Mt that dinner
wcro Charles Emory Smith, Gen. Ma
gargce, Gov. Bum, +. Burd Grubb, Ed
win 8. Stuart, John Russell Young, G.
r. Deacon, A. X. Mcclure, James II.
uevcrin, Henry II. bingham, Clayton
McAlichacr, William NJ. Singerly, Frank
Thomson, Albert q. IIetherington, j.
william White and scores Of famous
guests from outside Of Philadelphia.
Col Ingersoll came In late, when
Gov. Bum. catching sight of him, ex-
claimed In the midst Of tho decorated
and delicious surroundings: "Ah, colo
mel, this Is heaven, no place for you
here"
The colonel blushcd up to where the
roots Of his hair ought to be, and
was conspicuous for his silence, wheth-
or II was because he felt out Of place In
heaven, I don't know. He may go
there yet In spite Of himself.
Mr. Cleveland, also, was there. Tho
guy was put out on him, but Mr.. Cleve-
land was on his mcttle and made ono
Of tho best speeches Of his life.
Col. Cockerill came up for his share.
but the colonel has been everything
from drummer-boy IN Shcrnans army
to editor In New York city, and, with
all his modesty, Is match even for
Handy.
Col. Coclserill Is a dark horse for De-
pew's place us dinner speaker, should
Depew go first. But evidently tho
doctor Is not anticipating any such
thing. For ut press club dinner
given to Cockerill five years ago DIR.
Depew said In closing his remarks: II
trust that Col. Cockcrill may enjoy q
long life and that may live to pro-
nounce his funeral Grafton"
Senator Hill said felicitous thing
that night when In making the request
to follow instead of proceed DIR. pepew
ON tho programme, he remarked that
''the state of New York ought not to
oyershadow tho United States ana he