St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1894-03-01
Selected Sfnru.
SAMANTHA AT THE FAIR.

buildin | proposed that we should
branch out for once and git a fash
ionable dinner.
Dinner !" SEE Josiah Are you
crazy, or what does all you? Talk
about Citing dinner a t this time Of
day-most bedtime''
But l explained it out to him that
fashion called for dinner at the hour
we usually partook of our evenin'
meal at Jonesville.
SEE /, Josiah, l would love for
just once to 60 to big fashionabl
restaurant and mingle with the
fashionable throughput for instruc-
ton and education, Josiah, not that
/ want to foller it up"
But seq he, Wed better go to the
same old place where we've got
good, clean dinners and supperses,
and enough on 'em and at Twin
price"
And he argued warm at the fool
ishness of the enterprise.
But, OnluCky Creeter that | wuz, |
argued that, beiu' woman in
search of instruction and wisdom,
wanted to see life On as many sides
as | could while I was at Column
buses doin's | wanted to look round
and see all l could in a social and
educational way.
Poor, deceived human creeters,
how they will blink their own eyes
when they pursue their own desires!
do spoze it wuz vanity and pride
that wuz al the bottom of it,
And truly, if desired to see life on
a new side, l wuz about to have my
wish; and if had a naughty sperit
when | entered that hall of fashion.
it was with droOpin' feathers and
lowered crest | went out ont.
Josiah WIZ mad when he finally
gin up and accompanied and went
IN with me.
1t wuz a beautifully decorated
room and crowds of splendidly
dressed men and wimmen wuz a set
tin round at little tables all over
the room.
And as we went in, a tall, elegant
1Ookin man, who | spozed for long
time wuz a minister, and l wonder
ed enough what brung him there,
and why he should advance and
wait on me, but spozed it was be-
cause of the high opinion they had of
me at Chicago, and their wantin' to
use me so awful well.
But for all his white collar and
necktie and sanctimonious look, l
found out that he wuz a waiter, for
all on EN- locked Jest as he did, slick
enough to be kept in a bandbox,
and only let out once in a while to
air.
Wall, he led the way to a little
table, and we seated ourselves,
Josiah still a-actin' mad-mad as a
hen, and uppish.
And then the waiter put some little
slips of paper before US. one with
printin' and one with writin' on it,
and SEE he: Il will be back when
you make up your order"
And Josiah took out his old silver
spectacles and begun to read cut
loud, and his voice was angry and
morbid in the extreme
SEE he, loud and clear, blue pints
-pints of what, I'd love to know :?
If it wuz a good pint of sweetened
vinegar and ginger, I'd fall in with
the idee''
SEE l, Keep still, Josiah; they re
a-lOOkin' at you"
Wall, let'em look" SEE he, out
loud and defiant.
"COnsOmme Of chicken a la prin-
cess-what do we want of princsses
here, or queens or dukesses-we
want suthin' to eat! Devilish crabs
do you want some Samantha ?"
looked over his shoulder in wild
horror at them awful words, and
then 1 whispered, "Deviled crabs
and do you keep still, Josiah Allen !;
I'd ruther not have anythin' to eat
at all than to have you act so-it
hain't devilish.'
Wall, what is the difference ?" he
sez, out loud and strong; "devilish
or bedeviled, they both mean the
same"
And it is true too-too true; they
are all bedeviled," SEE he, gloomily
eyein' the bill.
l allus hated crabs from the time
they used to fasten to my bare toes
down in the old swimin' hole in the
creek. Wall, you don't want any
bedeviled crabs, do your"
No" SEE l, family; for I WIZ
mortified enough to sink through
the floor if there had been any sinkin'
place, and l whispered, I'D rather
go without any dinner at all than to
have you act So"
"Oh, no" SEE he, loud and positive,
you don't want to go without
your dinner; you want to be fash
ionable and cut style-you want to
make a show"
Wall" SEE l faint as cat, Il am
apt to git my wish"
For three men looked up and
laughed, and one girl snickered, be-
sides some other wimmin.
"Sez l, hunchin' him, DO be still
and less go to our old place"
"Oh, no." seq he, speaking up to