Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-04-19
PiTH AND POINT.

-..Do you think you will enjoy the
opera when it will be all in French?
Mrs Smallpay You silly boy! Don't
all the people in the boxes talk En-
glish? Ocean.
--Father-.'Is the girl you are going
to marry economical?'' Son (enthusias-
tically)-.I should say so. Last year
she spent five hundred dollars in bar.
gains. - Brooklyn Life.
How we would enjoy the rapture
or our earliest caliow love.
Gould we its bliss recapture
Less the foolishness thereof
Puck.
-''I hear your SON has become an
actor; how is he getting on?" Very
well indeed. He began as a corpse, and
now he has already advanced to the
role of ghost. -Fliegende Batter.
-Slyboy-"Well, good-day, Charley;
drop in and see me some time when
you haven't anything else to do"
Charley-"But I'm always busy" sly
boy-s.Yes; knew you were."-Boston
Courier.
-Mamma-''Oh, I am terribly wor-
ried about ;Robbie." Papa-"What is
wrong with him now; some simple lit
tie ailment?" Mamma-sNo; he has
washed his face twice without being
told. "-Inter-Ocean.
Mrs. Mulligan-"Yer wages is twin
ty cints short this wake, Moike." Mr..
Mulligan-"Yis, Mary Ann. The boss
locked me for the time wuz asking
for raise in me wages."-Browning.
King s. Co.'S Monthly.
-''Do You think" said Willie Wish
ington, ''that it actually hurts a man
to be hit with one of Cupid's arrows?'s
NO" replied Belle Pepperton. CAS-
rule, he merely becomes senseless for .
time. "-Washington Star.
The Aunt think Sibyl's con-
duct is outrageous. She is flirting dis
gracefully, and only just buried her
husband!" The Niece-"That's not
very bad. Some Of us would not wait
that long."-Harlem Life.
-Mother-s'To think that my little
Ethel should have spoken SO imper-
tinently to papa to-day at dinner! She
never hears me talk that way to him."
Ethel (stoutly)-'Well, you choosed
him. and Ididn't"-Brooklyn Life.
MEN who eat beef become very
beefy," said Dawson, land SO on. Man
takes on the attributes of what he
eats" 'Stop moralizing, and order
the lunch" said Sappy. "All right"
said Dawson. what do you eatf
veal?"-Harper's Bazaar.
Not ofessionaL-Walker Turn
pike-"I wuz readin' in a pape' this
morn that there's q swell young man
in New York that always takes bath
before eatin'." Willie Werk-"How
boiler he'd be, Brother Walker, if he
had our job. Detroit Free Press.
This" said the attendant as he led
the way through the incurable ward.
sis one of the worst cases we have. He
was once a newspaper man." "But
what is his hallucination?" asked the
visitor anxiously. HE thinks he has
money" answered the attendant sadly.
Brooklyn Life.
-Clubberly-"I am in a terrible
pickle, ordered some roses sent to q
girl and the florist made a mistake and
sent them G. O. D." Castleton-"That's
easily fixed. why don't you go around
and explain it to the grip" Clubberly
Mot much. She might want the
oncy.'-Broolklyn Life.
-Watts-"Tebson must be awfully
afraid of his wife. He is always tell
ing us how she will give him fits if he
doesn't hurry home" Potts-"That's
the best sign in the world that he is
not afraid of her at all. The man who
is bossed by his wife never says q
word about it. "-Indianapolis journal.
-s'I didn't know yo' could read,
Bre'r Downcy." Downey apparently
much Interested in his paper)-.'Oh,
yes, I'sc read ebber since I wuz er
boy" Den how comes it you'se read
in dat paper upside DOWN." 81 al
ways reads dat way, Bre'r Downey;
den Use gets ut de bottom OBJ de fac's
widoMt habing ter read down de whole
column. Harlem Life.