The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1894-09-08
A TENDER SKIN.
The Repentant Village Barber Scored One
on the Minister.

| The Repentant Village Barber Scored One
| - on the Minister.
The village barber had been com
| pletely ION the batter" The ca
rouse had been heavys and pro-
longed. At length, with credit ex-
hausted, the unnerved and debilitated
shaver had been compelled to betake
himself again to the exercised Of his
calling. Just then the minister, a
kindly old man of the paternal school,
heard that Tammis had Sworn off
the drink" and he considered that
the opportunity would now be favor
able to do as my mother loved to do
| that is, Improve the occasion. +"
Bent on this laudable professional
mission, he sailed forth.
On entering the humble shaving
shop of the remorseful Tammas, how
ever, his kindly heart was smitten
with compunction at the sight of the
wretch before him. Poor Tammas
indeed looked melancholy specta-
Gle. Trembling with unstrung nerves,
shaking as if in a palsy, his bleared,
bloodshot eyes looked up .piteously at
the minister. who, only thinking that
it was mo good pouring water ON a
drowned rat" swiftly determined to
spare poor Tammas for the nonce
and reserve his sacerdotal censure
till the poor ''disjakit creatur" was
in a better CO 1lition to profit by
good, straight talking to. He deter
mined, therefore, to make a kindly
pretense that he had come In for a
shave and sat down, feeling assured
that some opportunity would pres
emily be afforded of saying his word
in season"
Now, TammaS was not unaware of
what was passing in the simple old
minister's mind, and if the truth
must be told he was not So repent
ant as he looked. He was assuming
a good deal of the broken down and
battered appearance which he pre-
sented. So with a look of shame
faced penitence, with trembling fin
gers and with silent contrition ap-
parent, he proceeded to envelop the
minister neck in the towel and then
began to lather his visitor. in ap-
proved tonsorial fashion. The min
lister eyed him with mildly re-
proachful glance, which expressed
volumes to Tammas' conscious sense
of guilt.
Now he came to the critical part
of the operation He felt his nerves
jumping, but by dint of a strong eff
fort of will and holding one unsteady
hand with the other he managed to
bring the razor pretty deftly down
the ample expanse of both the cler-
ical chops.
But, alas when the wabbling blade |
came to the more intricate manipu-
lation of the double chin, the refrac- |
tory nerves gave disconcerting
jerk, and, 10! out gdshed the crimson |
fluid over the snowy napkin Now,
thought the good minister-now is
my time. Here is the opportunity l
have been waiting for So, address
ing the abashed looking Tammas,
who expected torrent of indignant
wrath. the simple, kindly man just
ventured on a very mild remon-
STRANGE. "Ah, Tammas," said he,
''ye see what the effects o. strong
drink are moo" Tammas' spirits at
once rose. He knew the worst was
past, and his roady humor came to the
rescue in flash of inspiration, as
very demurely, but with spice of
lurking drollery, he gravely replied:
Sc Deed, aye, meenister. 1t tmak' s the
skin unco tender. Our Ain Folk.