Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1894-12-01
rA Il CHICAGO EAGLE.
THE SUKER'S BUDGET.
JcSTS AND YARNS ~ FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
a Name 0eseription. A Woman Of
che w srid. The Proper Sequence
..Hs Was . Real boy. Etc,
tic.
A MANS DESCRIPTION.

AMAN's DESCRIPTION.
Watts-Mrs. Potts just looked
stunning in her new suit this after
noon.
Mrs. Watts-How was she dressed ?
| Watts--I cant exactly describe
the rig except that 1t had these pncu-
matte sleeves. -[Cincinnati Times.
A WOMAN OF THE WORLD.
He-Shc seems happy with him,
and maintains that she married her
ideal.
Sho-Yes. but her ideal was the
man who should ask her to marry
him.-[Life.
THE PROPER SEQUENCE.
els IL still the custom in this
country to reach for your gun to
back IL up after you have called u
man liar ?" asked the tourist.
ut air not. stranger, replied the
early settler, land It never wuz. 1t
has alters been the custom In the
best society Of Waller Dog to reach
fur the gun fust. "-(Indianapolis
Journal.
lie WAS A REAL BOY.
Uncle-Whnt have you learned at
school to-day, Robbie =?
Robbie-Just How to take the
back of my history and fix real
good Indian story into IL, so that
the teacher can't find out that /
amt studying. -[Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
WHAT'S IN A NAME?
Lady (sampling soap)--1 don't like
The odor Of this. Have you no Others
Clerk - Oh, yes. Here's the
"Sweet-by-and-by." It's u new kind
and only lately out.
Lady--Well, 1t may be sweet by
and-by, but 1t Is simply frightful now.
fudge.
| SKINNER WAS A HUSTLER.
do you think skinner can make a
living out there?"
make a living? Why, he'd make
a living on rock in the middle OF
the ocean-if there was another man
on the Observation-Disclosures Record.
SANDY WAS MARRIED.
An Irishman asked Scotchman
one day why n railroad engine was
always called "she."
Sandy replied Perhaps it's on
account Of the horrible noise IL makes
when it tries to whistle. "-[Pcarson's
WcoIly.
lie KNEW A THING OR TWO.
| "Thackins has retired from poll
tics"
"Yes. lie told mo that he was
weary Of the uncertainties OF u pub.
lie career"
"That wasn't It, though. What
he got tired of was II sure thing OH
defeat. "-IWashington StaS.
SHE UNDERSTOOD.
Women can talk the whole length
OF pew, and understand each 9th
cr's meaning-or think they do.
case occurred In kenderton Church
Philadelphia, few Sundays ago. An
occupant Of pew formed the words
"How sweet you look, - to another
and then put her finger to her lips,
rs though to chide the rising though Is
in = sacred place. At the close of tho
service her friend said: II did no,
know what you were saying until
you put your finger to your mouth,
then knew 1t was Come homo to
lunch. - Shoe and Leather Re,
porter.
lie READS THE ADS.
First Tramp-What makes yer
so fond of readin' dat ole undertake.
ers' paper, Willy?
Second Tramp like to read dc
bier adds.
THE REV. DIR. FoURTHLY's SERMON.
THAT was a finished Sermon" re.
marked lady rs she came out oil
church yesterday.
"Yes, but | was afraid 1t would
never be-" said her husband.-[P Phil
adelphia Record.
CONsOLING.
"Why! What's up, Cholly"
''Toothache, confound it! I'm
going to have 'em all out. II this
keeps on III be dead soon, and II
won't matter
"Oh, yes it would. You'd need
EN- to gnash with. "-[Life.
HOPEFUL VIEW.
"Swiggles' books are very well
spoken OF, are they not9" asked the
timid looking man,
"Yes. sir" replied the bookseller
Some OF the critics praise them
highly"
"And l suppose there will be q
pretty active demand for them IL
time"
"Oh, yes" said the dealer. "Aftel
Swiggles 10 dead everybody will b,
wanting to read them"
The timid looking man went softly
away. lie was Swiggles.-lChicag
Tribune.
HE WAS OUT.
" You were going to call on Miss
Smythe last night and feared sh'
wouldn't be in. Was she out?"
mo, but l was out-three dollars
for theatre tickets, "-[New Yorl