The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1894-04-12
MOCK PRAYER NO. 4.

MOCK PRAYER NO. Z.
National Reformer: Almighty Grover.
king Of Democrats, high priest of John Bull
and consort to Wall street. great in thy name
throughout all the land. Thou who seest all
things with an eye single to thy purpose;
whose dominions reach from ocean to ocean
and whose subjects are as the sands upon
the sea shore, we bow before thee in humble
alteration aud acknowledge our littleness in
thy sight. Look upon us most worshipful
master, as thy humble servants, ready to do
thy will and receive the crumbs from thy
official table. We ask not for pie-it is too
rich for our blood-but, if it pleases thy high
ness. let us lick the plate where the pie was
Oh, most beloved father. sharpen again our
teeth that we may gnaw on the tariff
bone which thou hast thrown out to US, for
verify it is dry and hard and thy servants in
congress have gnawed all the meat OF of it.
We pray thee to open our eyes that we may
be able to see the good time promised, for
verify we are surrounded with the fog of low
prices and the patches on the seat of our
pants are worn to fragile; and the winds
whistleth a requiem therein, and we have
not the where-with to- renew the patches.
excellent message; but our stomachs yearn
for soup. We praise thy name by day and by
night, even while our children cry for bread;
but the gaunt wolf of hunger stares at the
open door of poverty. We know that thou
art great and good, and wise and just, but
we have not the wherewith to clothe our
children. Yet in the midst of poverty We
sing praises to thee, oh, Cleveland, and would
again make thee ruler over the land. But
we pray thee most worshipfnl master, to de-
liver us from our enemies, for they encom-
pass us all around about to our great discom-
fort. Between the Populists, the mortgages
the taxes and poverty, we are sorely pressed,
We lift up our voices and cry in distress, and
the Populist mocketh at us in our dlspalr
He runneth his lounge out of one corner OF
his mouth and winketh his eye and saith:
AHA! I told you so:' Oh, mighty Cleveland,
who will deliver US from the body of this tor
ture. Verify we have been wicked in thy
sight, else why;gavest thou US stone when
we asked for bread? and a serpent when We
asked for fish: Verify our heart sinketh
within US and the Populists revile us on every
hand. We sell our wheat at SO cents. We
sell our cotton at cents. and 10 the taxes
swoopeth down like an eagle from the noun
tain and gobbleth it up. We would fain have
"salted down. our hogs, but the banker salt
eth down both us and the hogs. Our beef
which we ought to have picked down was
picked by the. merchant, as well as our note
for the balance of our account We sheared
our sheep, but the lawyer took the fleece and
feeced us out of COW besides, Whichever
way we turn is hell. Our children are rags,
our wife is rags, our own clothes are rags
and verify it appeareth that rags are the
legitimate result of Democrrtic success. In
the anguish of our heart oh almighty Grover,
we would cry unto thee. Smite the Populists
with the terrible smite Soften the hearts
of the bankers that they may put out a little
money. Soon the cold bleak winds of winter
will be over. The jaybird will chirp merrieIy
in the apple tree, and the robin will pour out
the melody of his soul from the top rail of
our dilapidated fence. Then the holes in our
pants will let in the gentle zephyrs of the
summer and gladden. our hearts. Then we
will, thank thee for the pants-and the holes
too. Then the patriotic office-seeker will
come to see us and with his silver notes pour
sweet consolation into our ears. And when
our listening ear catcheth the sweet promis :
es he makes our hearts will leap again with
gladness, and we will sing praises to thy
name and shout aloud for party success. We
will rise up early in the morning and go forth
with gladness in our hearts and corn bread
in our stomachs, and sing thy praises all day
long And when the evening is come we II
put tin rooster in onr hat and march in the
procession to thy glory and to thy success.
Yea we will even carry torchlight and
banner, that the people shall know that we
worship thee and thee alone. And the Pop
ulists who stand upon the street corner and
mocketh at us we will laugh to derison. Yea.
our hearts shall leap with JOY and our soul
rise up within us. In our gladness we will
forget the price of wheat, the mortgage, tax
everything but the greatness of thy
name. And now most gracious master. take
us into thy keeping. Remember us to the
soup houses and the free lunch counters.
Send us a few patches if you have any to
spare suffer US to black your shoes. spit up
on your fish bait. or serve you in any other
way you see tit. and we shall praise thy
name forever and forever Amen.