The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1894-10-06
The Office Cat,

The Office Cat.
The following paper was read by
Captain Alexander A. Lesueur, at the
meeting of the State Press Association,
at Lebanon, recently:
Mr.. President, Ladies and Gentlemen:
l have been invited by the president
of the association to say something to
you about the office cat Singular as it
may seem from its title, approach the
subject with more or less trepidation,
because of its importance and gravity.
Mr.. President, there are cats and
cats. There is the house cat, the wild
cat, and the cOn-cat- enation. To con-
catenate-tO link together in continuity
things of more or less principally less)
mOment-is the everyday business of
an editor. To have anything to do with
the business end of q wild cat, or the cat
politely known as ''mephitis mephitica, !"
is the last thing an editor cares to do.
unless it Is to hurl the prOfane name of
pOrary.
My line of inquiry will. think, be
circumscribed to one species OF the
house cat, so called. qualify its dis
tinctive appellatiOn because it is my
observation that, instead of dwelling
within portals, it spends large pro-
portion of its existence upon the yard
| fence, where, with its back bristled into
the shape of an inverted u, it meOws
and cat-erwauls its soul away in dulcet
strains. There seems upon this point
to exist more or less of misapprehension;
for when the circumambient air Is filled
with the pitiful means and eXcruciating
yOwls of the Thomas cat. persons are
apt to think the animal in pain, whereas,
| if the hard end of bOOt-jack catches
him in such a moment at the but-end of
the ear, it will inevitably interrupt his
love song to his mate. Unlike the mule,
who has neither pride of ancestry nor
hope of pOsterity, the cat loves his love,
dOmesticity and Il family.
The naturalists tell us that the origin
of the Cat is vague, but this is OF minor
moment, as we have known his purr and
his crouch, his velvet paw cOncealinp
claws of steel, and his propensity tC
steal cream (as well as jam) for many
centuries. Temples were erected in his
honor among the Egyptians, and sacri.
fees and devOtiOns were offered up tC
him. In the middle ages he was re-
garded as the familiar of witches. Satar
has often been depicted as black cat
and superstitiOnS innumerable have beer
. connected with him. Art is grOtesgelN
full of him as monster and "A fright
That he has nine lives, was frequently
proven by the boys with whom l wa:
contemporary, who would. after running
him up tree, have him killed four o.
five times by some amiable cur, ant
four or five times more by clubs an(
other tOrtures at their own tender hands
Nevertheless, the cat has his gentle
side. lie is meek and docile-in appear
ance-but, like sweet woman, it won I
do to impose too much on his goo,
nature, or ware his claws! lie is sait
to love locality, and yet there are among
bis tribe the veriest tramps, which 4,
from place to place seeking the softes
, rugs and daintiest food.
Proverbially modest, these, after tn
manner of men. possess u snblimatet
gall. Jerome puts into the mouth o
one of his characters, cat which kney
3 good thing when he saw it, and sougl
, a home from house to house until h
found what was to his taste, thes
words: My dear child, cheek is tn
: Open Sesame to every door. The ca
r that works hard, dies of starvation th
e cat that has brains, is kicked dow
stairs for fool, and the cat that liza