The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1894-01-31

II were q motorman / should like
to know that the brakes were in good
working order.
IL were q coachman should like
to have my horses wear sharp shoes.
IL were a shoedealer should like
to have weather that tends to bring
grist to my mill.
III l were farmer would call and
see the new wagons just received by
WHITE Bros. Front aud Orange streets.
III were m auctloneer / would
never try to make pun on q bidders
name. II l wished to retain customer.
IL were a horsejockey ! should like
to have an abundance OF that trash
which makes the mare go.
III l were a detective / would soy
go In chief, best fellow wins the prize.
III were tax collector / would act
as becomes an honest man and not Of
q mere politician.
II | were a justice OF tho peace l
would not try to promote litigation
In order to make bill of costs.
III we're mechanic | would never
vote In favor of policy that would
enable the British to undersell oui
own manufacturers.
III l wore President would not or
der any one to haul down our coun
try's flag.
II / had the power I would turn
every man out of Office who aays the
American flag Ia nothing more In nil
estimation than dish rag.
III were judge l would endeavoI
to hold the scales of justice very
evenly.
II | were In a crowd ] would try and
avoid treading on other peoples corn
IL were mounted on q skittistl
horse l would not try to ride over al
electric cur.
II were police officer l would
have been tempted to stay in out Of
the storm the other evening.
III were lawyer | would never un.
dertake to brow beat a witness.
III were judge | would never al.
low lawyer to make liar out of an
honest man BY getting him confused
on the witness stand.
III | were going to get married
would pick out the sweetest aud nent
est housekeeper.
II ! were going In business for my
SELF would wait while longer be
Tore starting. wait until the breakers
have passed.
II l were lawyer l wouldn't at
tempt the antics of rowdy, when
prnctlclng before the court.
II / were asked to take drink, why
! would take il II thought l needed
1t. 49,.
II l were single ! would hunt up
that female amazon in New York ard
then take to the sido show business.
IL l were James j. Corbett, | would
pose as model for the artist, go that
my statue should go down to future
posterity.
III were man about town, / would
stop flirting with married women so
openly on Market street. They are on
to you.
II were reporter I would not nj,
low the lawyers to try and impeach
my testimony, especially when I had
no interest In the matter except to tell
the truth.
II l were the police commission |
would appoint those special officers.
ii l were Auditor BllaDy l would
always do as the Democrats want me
to do.
II were politician l would be a
Democratic one, as they have nearly
all got rich In our city, while the Re-
Lave gone broke. ....
III L were a policeman / would rather
ba on an In door move while the wind
blows. .-... .......0 - =
IL l were a married man | would let
single girls alone
Ii wero the authorities would fur
nlsh Billy Henl with big whip 10 Ill
the Dill entirely when driving his herd
to New Castle jail.
II l wore Levi Bird | would make the
street cars stop any place on Market
q n.afp tN9nl Nj.
IL l were the Warren Club / would
invite the jackson and Corbett fight
to Wilmington. Gray's special con.
stables would keep order.
III werea brand said would sooner
live In the Internal regions thnn upon
a certain street again. | certainly
would not when moved take house
upon that same thoroughfare, only a
lew doors below.
III were an editor and lived oil
Jackson street certainly would work
my cards to get pull politically.
III were called to visit q dying
friend iwould leave everything, even
II II touched my pocketbooB.
II kept store would not think
everybody blind and soil them straw
for hay.
II were Christian I would moi
take good brothers. umbrella when
his attention was directed another
way.
II were a mllkman and received
order for milk which had
been paid for, would not exclailu.
DO you want the whole dalryf"
II / were borrower OF tack claw
from King street merchant certain.
ly would not hand it to the merchant
on The street, in preference to taking
II buck 10 the store.