The Wichita daily eagle., 1894-02-14

even during the best of weather, was
sitting about the post office at Miller's
store when the mail was distributed.
The day was raw and Mr.. Price was
not in the best of humor. One of his
steers had been choked to death by an
ear of corn that didn't happen to fit
and somebody had poisoned his dog.
Indeed, this was no time to be made
the butt end of valentine joke; but
when the mail was distributed the
postmaster solemnly declared that he
had letter for Andy Price. Price was
disposed to doubt this. He looked up
from the cracker-box where he was
sitting and remarked: "Miller, have
been customer of yourn for more than
five years and / don't see why you
want to tamper with me that way.
Yes, sir, been a dealin' with you all
that time and you amt never flung me
out letter yit. And ruther think it's
too late to caper with me now"
"Ain't tryin' to cut no capers with
you, Andy; here's the letter"
He handed over an envelope and
Andy took it suspiciously.
He nervously tore open the envelope,
being still suspicious, and took out a
red and blue colored print, represent
ing an ass with exaggerated ears. His
friends gathered about him, gazing in
astonishment. "Read what it do say"
some one demanded. Then they read
the few lines of rhyme, and strangely
enough they applied somewhat to
Andy. He was noted for his large ears,
loud voice, peculiar gait, and these
lines called ridiculous attention to
these facts. The men shouted. Andy
put the thing on the fire and watched
it burn. Then he said: ''I'm goin' to
find out who sent me that thing. and
I'm goin' to whip him if it costs leg
and an arm or two. I've whipped
good many men fust and last, but I've
always done it like a gentleman would;
you boys all know that. l never did
stomp but one feller's teeth out and
wouldn't "a done that if he hadn't bit
me. l never stabbed man; never
shot bat one feller and he shot me first;
and / want to say right here that I'm
going to make it my business and my
trade to find out who tuck this here
mean advantage of me, and when l do
find out I'm goin' to whale him till his
own mother wouldn't speak to him
without an introduction. You may all
cut up and laugh as much as you see
fitten, but I'm goin' to cut off 1ome-
body's ears and string 'em on clothes
line jest fur this thing. always did
hate sneak, and the man that sent
me this here is the worst speciment of
a sneak"
Throughout the neighborhood Andy
Prices valentine was the subject of
speculative conversation. At the
school, the sawuiIl. the blacksmith
shop. the post office the question was
constantly asked: Has he found out
yet?" 1t was said that he was going
to send off somewhere and get a de-
tectiye, and thus was the sensation
kept alive. Two weeks must have
passed. One afternoon number OF
men were sitting in front OF the post
Office when Andy came up Have you
got the detective yet?" some one asked.
NO. and / don't think III need him."
Andy answered. MY OWN wits are
about as good detective as | want,
and they have been at work. The man
that sent that thing Is in this crowd
right now, and when / go away from
here ] Will be totin' sonethln IN my
hand and some feller down the road
may meet me and ask what I've got
and / viii tell him that I have just cut
off So-and-So's ears and am goin' TO
take 'em home and string EN- on the
clothes linc. Now don't all git skeered
al once"
But they were scared. and all at once.
too Not one among them was willing
to part with his ears, and each man
stood about trying 20 look innoseEt