Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-02-21
HUN0R OF TIE DAY.

Sweet meets-Trysts.
A grip.sack- The doctors saddle
bags.
Lightning takers - Fire insuranc,
agents.
You can't trust tae letter IS" for i;
is naturally crooked.-Dausville (N. y
Breeze.
The dark ages are the ones that e.
derly spinsters refuse to divulge-St.
Joseph News.
Pump Handle-"How do you fecl:''
; Vacuum Chamber - Exhausted. -
Yankee Blade.
The book tha. makes the greatest stir
in society Is the well-lined pocket book.
Texas Siftings.
Most people laugh not when they want
to, but when they think people imagine
they ought to.--Atchisoa Globe.
DeSmithers-"Do you object to CO..
ored walters at the clubl' Bjoues-''l
object to green ones.-The Club.
The man who laughs in his sleeve
should BE- reiegated to the society OF hin
who talks through his hat.-Puck.
4 mans goodness to his wife depends
entirely On her ability 10 make him e..
joy being good to her.-Atchison Globe
1t is always proper to call upon the
superintendent of the streets = mend
his ways. Boston Commercial Bullc
tin.
No one can ever tell what 4 woman
will do next, If any one did tell she
would be sure to do SO nethins c.sc. =
SomervilIe Journal.
The flush upon the cheek OF the society
girl Is not hectic; it is permanent until
it is scraped off with the butcher knife.
Galveston News.
It's rumored as a strong proof OF ne
ture's disposition to assert Itself that few
girls learning the violin care to use the
chin rest.-Philadelphia Times.
Patient-"Doctor, I fancy, somehow,
I've got a touch of the gout" Doctor
"Fancy, my dear sirl If you hal, You
wouldn't faucy-you'd know. Comic.
Ethel-''Mr. Hobson and Mr. Hlj-
bell will call this evening, Grace, you
know What shall We Do to entertain
theml' Grace-'Let's propose. "-Bos.
ton Post.
The barber is a sort of bellicosc in L.
vidual. He has his little brushes right
along, he fathers people, aud he oc-
casionally smashes their mugs.-Blng.
hamton Leader.
Miss Ongwee-.'I think your charms
are simply horrid!" Jeweler-'Yours,
miss, are irresistible. Miss Ongwee-
"I'ii take half dozen, please. ."-Jewel-
er's Gazette.
"Carber is still in trouble. His lawyer
now makes serious charges against him"
~ thought he won his case?" $50 ne
did, and that's what his lawyer is charg-
ing him for. Lowell Citizen.
Charlie Cwho has been blowing the
cornet for an hour -"Ned do you think
there IS any music in me?' Ned-'I
don't know. There ought to be. 1
didn't hear any come out. London
It'd Bits.
He-''I am rather in favor of the
English mode of spelling" She
'Ye-es." ue-'Yes, indeed. Take
'parlor' for instance. Having in it
makes all the difference 10 the world
indianapolis Journal.
Brcwn-"Yes, he was brave man
one who could meet death without
blauching." Fogg-'I see. The gen.
1,y,,ap ,ras - ,bo ,,Iortolx;nr, ,rnfo-
sion, presume; or was he only a doc
tor:'-Boston Transcript.
Seeker-''You have been farming
many years in this section and know the
popularity of the soil pretty well; wha.
do you consider the hardest thing to raise
on your farm" Meeker-"The money
to run it. t."-Boston Courier.
"Ah," said Chappio jokingly 10 Miss
Kcene, "this is leap yaeg, ,dontcherknow;
do you intend to avail yourself of its priv
ileges2" ~ really cannot tell wha: 1
might do" she said with smile, ''if u
man should cone along. New YORK
Press.
Binks-''I don't ike to complain
about trifes, Mrs. Jingle, but my hash
appears to consist largely of fragments of
dcil board" Mrs. Jingle (the landladJ)
-"Wel, what kind Of board do you
expect foz five dollars week-polishe5
nahoganyF-WasP.
She-''Did you succeed in mastering
French while ii France" He-'Nearly.
| did not succeed in making the French
c'cn comprehend me, nor could 1 MAJ
9ut what they were driving at; but got
to 1 could understand myself when ]
talked. Funny Folk.
Lady tepgasing cook)-"Why did yen
cave your last placer Cook--"I
;ollln't stand the dreadful way TIE
nl5tsr and missus used to quarrel, mum"
L,1y--"Waat used they t. quarrel !
,,0ut~ Coo:S-"fae way ths timer
hg, cooked, num.'-Lo=don Sainuer.