Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1894-05-14
JUST FOR FUN.

man in the law department. She is
called sister-in-law
After all, If a girl is any good, she
will stand UP for a man through thick
and thin-even in street car.
Uncle George = Are you good at
guessing? Little Dick = Yes, indeed
Pm head in the spelling class.
Mrs. Greenide-I don't see how any
body can say that Mrs. Gay is good
woman. She looks almost as bad as
| do.
Attached to the electric bells in the
rooms of New England hotel: "Press
the knob if you want the clerk five
times"
Little Johnny-Pa, what are all these
men going to Washington for? Pa
Only to fill up the papers; that's all,
Johnny.
Hicks-Is Walton much of fisher
man? Wicks-I think he must be-
never knew a man who could lie so
artlessly.
"There is not minute in the day
that l can have quiet half hour to
myself" exclaimed an old lady, much
annoyed with visitors.
"That's an uncommonly pretty girl
over there pouring tea" eyes, she is
one of the reigning bellies this season."
"Ah! these bellies never reign but
they pour"
elbow about references" said Mrs.
Jay to the cook she was thinking of
engaging. ooh, don't require any
from a nice lookin' lady like YOURSELF"
said the cook.
The great trouble with not a few
men lies in the fact that they have
tongue that runs fifteen knots an hour
and brain that moves at the rate of
only ten knots.
This ambiguous notice adorns la
dies cabin in Hoboken ferry boat:
''These seats are for ladies. Gentle
men will not occupy them until the
ladies are seated.''
A man will lose five hours sleep
playing poker and not feel half so
tired the next morning as he does
when he has lost an hours sleep ow-
ing to the baby.
Jimmie, where did you get this
five cents?' sits the money you gave
me for the heather, mamma" ''Then
why did you keep it?" "My teacher
said 1 was heathen."
The prophets tell US that we shall
all travel by air ship one of these
days, but the experience will not be
novel one to those who have lived on
heirships all their days.
Everybody must have heard it so
often that he can not help believing
that old times were the best times;
but it is not because of the men who
are left over from those old times.
A little boy anxious to display his
knowledge, being in the cellar with
his younger sister, took up piece of
oak, and said, s'That is hard wood"
then, picking up a piece of pine, "and
this is easy wood"
''What's your occupation, bub?"
asked a visitor at the capital Of a
bright boy whom he met in the cor
ridor. The boy happened to be page
in the White House. "I'm running
for Congress, SIR" he replied.
Little Edith was saying her prayers.
She asked that the Lord would make
her good girl, which was quite in
line with mammals instructions, but
rather astonished mamma when Edith
added, "and I'll do as much for you"
doctor, they tell me you are at
tending that young man next door
free of charge" eyes, and glad to
do it. He's been practicing on snare
drum for the last six months, and now
I have a chance to put an end to the
nuisance"
Aunt Maria-Carrie,d don't you think
you are a little forward with Mr.. Suit
or? Carrie-Why, Aunt! What have I
done? Aunt Maria = You took off
your glasses in his presence, Carrie,
last evening, and you have known
him hardly month.
It is funny that daughter invaria
bly, kneels down to her father or moth
er on the stage, or sits down on low
stool Or ottoman so that she may re-
cline her head on the maternal lap or
the paternal knee; but then people
on the stage are not expected to COM
port themselves after the manner of
people in real life.