The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-31
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS eY FUNNY
MEN or THE PRESS.
Quite Proper True His Favovits--
Cevidn't Keep House Without One
The Physicians Hose, Etc, Etc.
QUITE PROPER


QUITE PROPER
He went TO the sffice loaded, you
say? What was the RESULT"
He was fired" - New York Press.
Customer-You said this watch
would. keep time.
Dealer-Well?
Customer-Well, il doesn't go, and
can't ever tell what time il is.
Dealer-Id like 10 know if that
isn't keeping time, il it doesn't give
it away.
HIS FAvoRITE.
First Barnstormer-And may /
ask, me boy, what is your favorite
role?
Second Barnstormer-By my faith,
] will freely tell you. 'Tis the pay
roll Pittsburg Bulletin.
COULDN'T KEEP HOUSE WITHOUT ONE.
Briggs-Did you know Spicerly had
proposed TO his cook, and been re-
iected?
Griggs-Gracious, no! What did
she reject him for?
Briggs-She said she didn't know
where they could get another one
brooklyn Life.
THE PHYSICIANS HOPE.
Grocer-Did Dr. Newpill pay that
thirty-dollar bill he owes?
Collector-No, sir; but he was very
nice about it. He said that he hoped
he would soon have a chance to work
it off in attendance on your family
Detroit Tribune.
PREPARING FOR ACTION.
Featherstone-Will your sister be
down soon, Willie?
WILLIE guess so. She is chang
ing her dress.
Featherstone Gmpatiently)-What
is she doing that for?
Willie-She said she wanted to put
on something that didn't rumple-
Philadelphia Life.
AN UNTIMELY PURCHASE.
II need new umbrella. and Pm
going to buy one" declared Mrs.
Mcbride.
Let me give you piece OF advice
about buying umbrellas added her
husband. Never buy on a rainy
day"
I'D like to know why not?"
Because they are always up
then. - Detroit Free Press.
NOT SENSITIVE.
Fweddy Qighting a cigarette
Gou-aw-don' mind my smoking,
do you?
Strangcr-Not at all, sir. work
in a glue factory Chicago Tribune.
NOTHING MEAN ABOUT GEORGE.
The Daughter-Papa, George has
got only seven dollars and half
week, but he wishes to marry me-
The Father-Only seven dollars and
half week and | am worth mil
lion! ! should think he would wish
to marry you New York Press.
CALLED DOWN.
He had given her his seat in the
car and had not heard her say
"Thank you, SO he stopped down
and said:
Did you speak to me, madam"
mo, | didn't" she replied IN a
voice loud enough to be heard all
over the ear, "and | think man Of
your age ought to be ashamed of him
self to try to Hirt in n crowded car"
Then he crept slowly forward, strap
by strap, kicking himself as he went.
= New York Press.
no RICH OLD AUNTs THERE.
Mrs. Ioungma See the baby
smile, 600, re darling Isn't she
lovely? Just think, in China, when
n girl baby is born, the parents 60
into mourning!
Brother George-In china all prop
erty is held by males, and the people
can't name n girl baby after a rich
uncle, you know Good News.
ONE WHO OUGHT TO KNOW.
Detective-Ies, I've got the de-
scription Of the missing jewelry writ.
ten down all right. Now, how much
money did the fellows take?
Mr.. Billus-I don't know exactly.
Maria, my dear, how much money
was there in my pockets last night?
-[Chicago Tribune.
WHAT HE SHOULD HAVE DONE.
How did you come to sell out
your restaurant
My health was bad"
why didn't you take your meals
somewhere else?'-[The Club.
BOTH BRoKE.
Percy "a rejected suitor)-Oh, my
heart is broke
Jack (the accepted suitor)-So am
BAD SIGN,