The Bossier banner., 1894-11-01
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-'Are you certain that you love
me?" II am" But are you sure that
you are certain?'-N. Y. Press
-''Will you marry me?" 81 am al
ready engaged to four men," But you
can only marry one, you know. Let
me be the one. B oston Beacon.
-Mullins-''Time waits for no man"
Gullins-''Sometime it does. / have
watch waiting for me at my pawnbro'
keI's. s."-Syracuse Post.
1t is hard to settle questions
And it's hard to settle wills;
And hard to settle household goods;
But hardest to settle bills.
Boston Courier.
Though far away, though ruthless
time have scattered memory's dream;
some scenes can ne'er decay, but rest
where all is change, like islands in
dream. Dryden.
-Herdso-"Why didn't you defend
your wife's suit for divorce?" Saidso-
Il had known for years that what she
said was law.''-St Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
-She-"Why do they have favorites
in horse races?" He-'Er to show peo-
pie what blanked chumps they were
for not playing the outsiders. Buffalo
Courier.
-''Nell-''What makes you think
your new suitor is entirely too honest?"
Belle-''Because he wouldn't even steal
kiss."-N. Y. Morning Journal.
-"Tabbs tells me he's been making
a number of improvements about his
home recently" Eyes, l noticed he's
sold the piano and lawn mower."-In-
ter Ocean.
What does it m can when prince
gives ballet-dancer diamond neck
lace?" SIT probably means that he has
married an American heiress. Pick
Me-Up.
Mrs. Hiland-'I don't like to see
girls throw kisses. 1t is so immodest.' .
Mr.. Hiland-"Yes; and then they are
usually such poor marksmen Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
-"Tunkins never leaves the game
empty handed" said one poker player.
That's So" replied another. Every
time 1 called him last night he had a
full hand. Washington Star.
They say Sphoftley was badly bit
by that handsome Miss Phlirtem the
other night" I'm not surprised. l
saw her throw her eyes at him several
times Buffalo Courier
Shetland is the hair dye as dan
gerous as the doctors say?" He-'Every
bit. An uncle of mine once dyed his
hair, and three weeks after he married
| IL
gende Batter.
Gould you use a little poem OF
mine?' asked the poet. 81 guess l
could" replied the editor. ''There are
two broken panes of glass, and hole
in the skylight. How large is it?"-
Atlanta Constitution.
Weary Watkins-"What do you
think of that? This here paper says
that you oughtn't to eat when you are
tired" Hungry Higgins-'I think it
is scheme put up to starve us fellers
to death. h."-Indianapolis Journal
-Laura-" Mamma, when 1 asked Mr..
| Goodcatch to button my glove last
night his hand trembled so that it took
him minute or two. l wonder if he is
in love?" Mrs. Figg-'I don't know.
Perhaps he may have been out late the
night before. indianapolis Journal.
-He-"The landlord says we must all
| come to the mountains again next
year" She-"But / should have to
break all my other engagements" He
You'd do that for me, wouldn't you?'
She-''O, but this is awful1y sudden, y
| Scribner's.
"A doctor who was passionately fond
of cards was called to the bedside of a
patient. He pulled out his watch, felt
the sick mans pulse and began to
count: "Seven, eight, nine, ten, jack,
queen, king, ace" The patient imme-
diately burst out laughing and got
well again. Il Echo du Nord.