The Washington times., 1894-09-09

do for us, and we thanked him, but there
good night and the bail man said very truly
that he had been TANNED out of his fee.
The policeman was even madder about 1t
than the bail man, but we took his number
and while on account of his excellent family
we do not care to make his name public at
present we shall not permit this consideration
to silence US in the future.
The incident called our attention to the
need of certain reforms in Chicago, and We
asked Gus TO take US 10 the mayors office,
where we could tell him what we thought
about it,
Not at this time of night said Gus.
won't he receive us2" asked we, with as
perity.
He might, but"
'Well, it is bad to appear at receptions be-
fore 10 O'clock" said we, and that convinced
Gus that we were determined.
CALLING ON THE MAYOR.
The mayor was in his Office, being closeted
with some railroad attorneys who wanted to
raise their tracks and some politicians who
wanted to raise a campaign fund. There was
an outside and an inside guard, a tyler and
two private secretaries at the several doors,
but they got out of our way in succession
and we stood in the presence of the mayor,
opportunity TO marry.
"What can do?" asked the mayor.
We suggested that he put all the strong-arm
women in uniform and make the peoples
party take out an amusement license.
Then what?" said he.
"Then put the hop joints on the top floors
of the tall buildings so as TO remove them as
far from China as possible, and provide them
with pure air They have everything else
they want Then nail up the windows with a
board, said we.
''What board?" said he.
County board. said we. Anybody can
see through that"
what shall do with the stuffed payrolIs?"
asked the mayor.
What are they stuffed with?' said we
Dead beats, said he, savagely
pickle them. was the ready reply "If
you sour on man he might as well be in the
Washington Home -
We then suggested that feed boxes be pro-
vided for the horses that have 10 stand around
the public squares all day, and assured him
that nothing so cruel or inhumnn would be
permitted in Trues Mills, as the appearance
OF hungry horses by the hundred in front Of
the principal business houses, with nothing
to eat but the coats and hats of the passers-
by
Why, we remember one time when the mer-
chants of the mills took a fool notion to
Clbdu up, duu ITIeQ 10 eStabllSl q yarQ IN the
rear of the planning mill where all teams
might be hitched, and the owners of
the horses got so mad thas they quit coming
there to trade, and so the business men were
compelled to put row OF feed boxes all
around the edges of the sidewalks, and when
ever man wanted to run for county office
he had TO stand there and shoe flies of the
Influential farmers horses, or they wouldn't
vote for him.
WITHOUT FEED BOXES.
We told all that TO the mayor and pointed
out TO him that horses without feed boxes and
candidates to fan them were not strictly au
fat, as we say In the selectest circles Of the
eclat at True's Mills.
Having then suggested that IL he have
Smoke Inspector Adams and Cigarette In
spector Rowan inspect each other, it would
save heap Of popular annoyance We bit
of the end Of one Of the cigars, put the others
in our pocket and lighted a match It and
we went out together. A man tried 10 carry
US down In the elevator, but Alderman Ryan
was getting in an3 we were afraid il would
fall. So we walked down the stairway, sing
ing 1.-Two Little Girls in Blue" so noisily that
the night watchmaR mistook US for a burglar
Arrived here at our room, which is on the
fourth floor, we find there is no water at the
hydrant. Next time we see the mayor we
shall advise him 10 move the lake about 200
miles away from Chicago, so that the city can
have an abundant water SUPPLY. Byrd
Flamm, IN the Trues Mills. Ind, Trumpet.