The Wichita daily eagle., 1894-02-18
HER HANDS GO UP
NANCY YANKS SURRENDERS TO
THE KENTUCKIANS.
She Fleadg With Them to Quell Theil
Bloodthirsty Proclivities aud Re-
frain, for Once, From Blazing
Away With Pistols and
Slashing With Knives.

From certain vague and sh adowy rumors
i begin to comprehend that there are few
irate Kentuckiaas lying in. wait, behlnt
irees, and in ceriain dark corners, Tor The
writer of these Letters.
Well-tEe weather is pretty bad, under
foot, at present.
love the gentle warmth of the fireside
with the blaze roaring aud cracking uE
the chimney; while the blizzard and the
kentuckian rage outside
never cared, partcui arly, about roam
ing around the country dark nights.
Nevertheless. confess to Il cold shiver,
occasionally, that is not altogether due to
read of the dueIs in Lc uisville, and the
Howard and Tnrner feut Is: how that en-
Derprising DIR. Nolin kill ed two men in as
many minutes, and theIi looked around,
bloodthirstily, for more.
Goodness. Let's talk about something
else, / imagine i see my own corpse lying
in some dark corner wi tn protruding eyes
and CHASTITY countenan ce, shot through
the heart from behind a tree.
What! Don't they S boot from behind
trees? Now that is VIII at 1 have always
beard
/ suppose there is no truth then in the
story heard of a Kentucky colonel, who
securely locked in his trunk, because the
coat tails still stuck st raight out behind
In the position they ass umed OH the occa-
sion of his flight from he enemy.
You can't believe ev erything you hear.
That's ''sartin' an suah." but please
don't shoot, Tm Only ''tellin' wat
heah dom really kno' nuthin' bout
are real artists, that the colouels, gen
erals, captains, majors and lieutenants,
spend most of their time, when not on
duty in painting their noses.
They never use wat er colors, however.
They use different mediums, according
TO their tastes. Some have a fancy for
Old Crow, others lik g Bourbon, a great
many use the McBrayer whiskies, and
have heard that there Es a continuous line
Of majors and colonies to be seen coming
and going from this, the McBrayer distil-
lerv, where they give sample bottle free
70 every visitor.
A man in Kentucky is never addressed
by the title of colonel until his nose has
assumed the conventional brilliancy, so
that 1t is small wond er that they eXpend
so much time, patience and money in
painting this special feature of the human
eounteaance.
Some one has said also that mildly in
sinuated that the Ken tuckians talked like
'niggers"
Did L? If / did l take it back. The
'niggers" talk like Kentuckians. Does
Il
1t; If there are any guns around. No one
could be more perfectly docile than l in
the presence of double -barreled shot gun.
But, really, KeDUuckians are all right,
There are no flies Oh them, except, of
course, in the extreme heat of the summer
when flies are on everything; and, when
The mint julips are let standing around,
that is. not the whole julip but just the
sugar in the bottom of the glass and
stray leaf or two of mint
Then, if a baldheaded Kentuckian
happens to be in the immediate
vicinity, which isn't at all likely, after the
julip is gone. still if he should chance TO
be lounging around near the sugar, taking
parting whiff of the mint, and fly
happened to light on his head, why, that
would constitute about the only case in
point, when one could truthfully say that
there were any flies ON Kentnckians
NANCY YANKS.