davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1894-08-08
SIN Q(merifQ bQtirt Sic GinfIb

- Sn 2(merifa 6ottrt Sic Ginfibrun9
Ser 0e3imalreanung I'M W}In5peien DOm
8. Qluguit 1886. On 6em Sage miro au6
ber U2ont Blanc burb 8elmat unb 8accarb
gum Gritenmol beitiegen. 1882 miro 8rin5
Otto Don 8a0ern bon Bet 9~riecbticben 9tas
understanding sum 9Oni8 erpd6tt,
1857 G6tna Dor Canton BON Ben en9liiden
ulto fran50iti6en 2lOmiraIen Der Grie8 er@
fldrt.
, 1894-08-08

- Sn Qlobamo, mo Die 6epu6Gttoner
i'm 8unOe nit ber io8enanuten rBeopte's
8artet" 6tc6e befommen BADEN, ertt3rt Ser
ySntcr Ocean" bieie 9}te6crLage nit SEM
inter Den Hepublifanern berri9enOelr
rStay-at-home feeling"; un6 5tpar 6dttc
oieie9 DStay-at-home feeling" in Der 2(67
nei8ulr8 elmer 8roBen 2(n3o0l Qn56u8er Der
grand old parity, iicb nit 0emotroten
81 Dcri9ma9ern, ieincn @runO 9ebabt.
Ser ySnter Ocean" beoauert bteie y@64s
lertibfett" ieiner Bartet8enoiien I'M SiiOen,
Dermptbet aber ~jebenfalSI BEL BEN 9cmotra>
ten cine iOIAe @dblerii4fejt nic9t, lOnit
miiBte t6m ia Der BEN bieii9cn 9emofraten
5u8eiAriebcnc Seritc9, bic 8OpuItiten an
iicb 5u reiBen, gang gele9en fommen unO er
braucbtc iidb OeS6al6 nicbt 81 alteriren.
, 1894-08-08
Onnnrfd1

3@eimnl td9li4 no4 MtuuaHfee, um9 ubr MOrgeas
Gn0 8 ubr 96eu0S.
2Q9lIdb, GusQen. 9amita9s, noh Suoiuotpu rub
WtauiItee, um 8 uDr WtorgeHS.
&oQlid 1Iad) 8oCiHe, MtiIpaufee. Gbe6o9gou, N&on.
tolpoc, SluO EloerS, &elpaInee, AbHapee, StHrQeou Ban
uno WSPnomIuee nm ubr abs.
gt9d Sranb @anen NtuStegon, @rauo 9apios &C.,
tnt 7:30 MbeHOs,
gtaG @reeI Ban. Wtittluob uuo SomItaQ Z ubr Qbos.
9fo@ @scauoba, Mtoniitique uuo Ban B0rts Sauutags
I'M Z llbr 2lbeuo5.
GffCe uHo 9pds' SUB Der MidiQau goe. 2apbasu
, 1894-08-08

- Sin 8latt in 8ueno8 2(ire8 bat Dor
&ur5em cine 2iite berientgen 0efongenen
Oer0Hentti6t, Die i'm Orti8en6auptQefGng=
niB lan8cr ais lcit einem Sabre in Inter
iUcbun85Doft it9 beftroen uno neh auf
rtcbterIicbe @ntibeiOun9 pGrten. Q(uS Scr
3ui0mmeniteuun8 er9tebt iib, ooB bon ben
tpe8en l9merer 8erbrecben 2ln8elcbulbi9ten
) lett SUM 1888, 1 lett 1889, Z iett 1891,
y lett 1892 unO peitere II ieit 2lnfan9
port8en Sa6reS in llnteriucbungSbait ii6
%beTtnoen. Bel Z Der 2lngei9ulbi8ten. bon
oenen ) lbon tm Sabre 1892 eiuQelteiert
%lporen. fonnte Der @runb ser @erDaftung
nlcbt mebr ermittelt peroer. 5roBoem mar
cine 8rctlaliung ntcbt erfolgt.
0Ihen6hIntt Spr on Chocolate Oo,+
, 1894-08-08
GilenBahn~G aRrpRdne.

KbtcasO & 9fortbio ItermsG 81 enb Abn. Eideta
w Oftces: gtps. 206-2O8 Glart StraSe, an beg
Qoflep @oeHus @totIen nnS am 9epOt Gae Wsas'uns
RiHste.SE.
, 1894-08-08
" - Union QaHenser Station.
n l!,z2nnsyIVanid LINES.
agSnmss, GauaI= mts Giaoiien: Ste,

2IIstsITTiCe5: Nn sen St0IOn. II S40 .. elaE
Slress ede SadIDu. mo I'M auditorium 3Dtel.
2HrG=3uge laDret sOle lolgt uad @eutral=3sit
40alMh. I9aanh. onaaenomlnen GplILaa.
, 1894-08-08
fit JoO0rmOnn.
fit 9ro5 uno ){(ejn.
fit QrIn uOO RojC6,
COnklin'S
0omO0u0
oeS-
uutli1tn Wtffeua

giir Oas Dans entbdlt es nibs
ti6e &ecepte auer Nrt, Gn9aber
iiber MtaB unb @etpi9t H.. In.
gitt aauleute 9iebt e5 &uf,
t6(uB in gei6dftli3en unO geieb'
lt6en Tragen, iOmie 9}at6 in 8uh'
fibrung un0 tbren peri9ieoeneU
Gpitemerr,
giir gaef10niker cine 8u1am.
meniteGung Ser in ibr Sad i6la,
genOen me8anii9en @elebe unO
0Qer OeutDHrOigen grfinOungeu
unO Mai9inen,
gitr DEN 9anOwerker prottii9s
Eatbi6ldge unb 1tatiItiI9e On,
9aben.
Giir Oen 9anOmirtU @itte'
c%ungSregeln, 8OOenfunOe, &at9,
i9ldge fir 8~eaferung, 2anOmeIs
flung unO 8ebanOlung bon 8ie6,
giir Oarttler NuR9liiHe Iber
2eben5fdbi9teit Der Samenarten,
9eimen, @o68tbum Der 8Gume &C.
giir DOlitiker itatiftii9e8 eri6ts
tiber 8oblen, Sep0lterungs3abl,
8arteigruppirungen.
9iir DORbanOler genuue M}aB.
tabeQen.
gilr 8idJbalter Re6nungs= uns
3ahltabellen.
Gs TT lnnlO9li1, ben reifeu Su,
bait bieieS 9anObu6S audi nur
anndbernO gu l6iGOern.
SeOes Gllter, je0er @tanO uno
Sernf finOen BARN i6neu Rat6
ano &ufldluB.
9a5n fOmlnt cine 8uIammen,
iteGun9 oQer wi6ti9en geIdidtli,
den G%reigniiie, iOwie seOgrapbiids
Wttgaben our6 so fleine 9anOfarten
erlautert, itotiltii6e 8uIommen,
IteQun9en iiber @ei4idte, 8euOlfe.
rrI''s unO Die Gr5engniie auer staa,
ten Der union.
Sn alen Srasen bon ouoemei.
ITEM Sntereiie fin0et man bier in
OeritdnOli6er 6oHung
40tDOrt n"d 8efehruna.
, 1894-08-08
~otS 6 Central

aGe burA9ehenbeu Bulge bon Der GentraIs GtatiOA
IL. Str. uu6 &0rt gtou. Sdge fitr ben Glbsn f6uued
~sheufals an z. ctr, &c. StroBe uno 9p6e 9are otnOm'
men iDerOeH. Etfets III ber StobtSfficG 1874 SaS
~@Lorf.StraRs. nMo i'm Auditorium 5pteL
, 1894-08-08

NDfcagS, I%9tIWnufee Il ST. 0AuIsG tyembabt.
" Gtobts&tdet Ofnce: 207 Glarfs9tr.; SeIephDns
2l9o Itatr. unIOn @aHagier.StottOn; canal. abagasa
uHs Dtaoti onsSt<.
, 1894-08-08
/. Suit 1884

Mbf0brt NnfHIii
l. Suit 1884 pom in
@blcago @Dicago
gOt unb @rpreB ........... 49,. $50 81 6;85 u
&ran0 9tapt08 &inte tiber &ola=
m03oo s. @. &. & s, o., 81. 6:50Wtf 900 u
Ban 8!elp uuo 6raHD Jtaptb5 Sine
bta NetD @ufGlp&G. &G8. MG. Gg.I II S:l5 Wtf $50 u
Nelp Norf uub 8pltDu Spe3Ial.... 1880 N21 goo u
Ser 0ortb @bure 2imlteb. ....... 1:30 81 430 u
SAT- G0lterH GrpreB ........... -. $3.50 "a 900 u
Wtaciuolp &luie itber SQl0mn5oO
Sron0 GtopibS s. 6. 81. Il S. 81. &t $3.50 N+ 7:10 so
GalauG5pD Accommodation -. .... AIS 9HTlll0 Wl
Ban glelU &tmle i0er Stem Buffalo
6ranb 8apio5 & 6. u 20. WE 9OEt 500 gf+ 1:25 q
9etrolt 9}Gdt=@rDreB ............. : $3.50 81 7:10 st
Sagtuotu, Ban @itD & Set. Slue. $50 81 7:10I t
atlantic @rpreB 80. .......... -. 'll:30 o. 7:50M
Grono 9t0pihs Sine, ibtr Ralamas
500 & e. u. 81 8. u. @.......... '1l:S9 ~ 7:10M
GrQuo Gtapio3 @otio Gram iiber
Stem SuFalo & 6. g. %. %. u. 'I45 u '645 NJ
'9GQlldh. / @usaen. Sonntaa as. / Nnsaen. Mlpntaa.
, 1894-08-08
9tbfabrt IQntuuit

AOIuDtI IAuLuHII
Shga -- --
Sdnen3ug mad 9eS W{Olues 80. 3:00W 81 $50 u
SItupt8, Snlpa NIB 8eDrtas&TpreBI' lC:354t' 2:30 y
&edOsnlDOrth unO &aHias &itg. $500. $3.50 3U' S:l0W
WInneapDIts, Gt8. q Siour Sans $50 ID 1900 Dt
eDliet Accommodation ......-..... 4:05 "a 9:45 Ut
Bsru Accommodation ........... 4:50 ytt 9;50Wl
ct So. NtdtiDu NH gnu1Qs Gitg
9enper. gplO. SpriuSs q PuebIOI' 500 81 1000 81
st. 9BDrtD NIB 5:ruS GrUreB. 80. 500 &I' 1000 ID
&enDsr. Colo. Spgs uuo BueolD, O;Gl
Omaha 81 &inc. CBig 6tpeGeitib u 1000 81 S:l0Wt
GmaDa % @t. gaui g{QliSrpreB. 1910 NlT 1870 Wt
4eOrjN q 3eHoer gta6=GrpreG 49,. 1910 AlI 7:30 Nt
'I6gd5. ! gl|usgeuOmmeu Sonntag. ausgenoml.
men SamitoG. Z AusgeHQmuten WtOutaG. o JQbri
t6aliQ os 2DfolsSnQ BON SEES 06olne8 2uriId.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
limitation American Physicians.

American medical missionaries are
now very popular in China. They are
everywhere welcome, more especially
because they offer medical advice and
medicine gratis, prefaced with re-
tigious exercises. The Chinese ap-
pear to appreciate this kind of practi-
cal religion. In a recent letter to the
Missionary Herald, Doctor Chaplin
tells of his missionary successes in the
vicinity of Pang Chuang, and says:
"On this trip learned for the first
time that there are in this part of
China o number of counterfeit for
eigners. Twas myself taken to be one
of that class because of an ability to
make myself understood in Chinese.
1t seems that one or more enterpris-
ing celestials have gone into the work
of dispensing medicines after the man
ner of the American physician. Usu-
ally two or three men go together.
One of these dresses IN foreign cos
tune and talks a gibberish which Is
not understood by the natives, and SO
passes for foreign language. In
imitation of American physicians, all
medicine is given away, but, unlike
that fraternity, the bogus representa-
tive of America is quite willing to re-
ceive contributions of grain to feed tbs
animal which helps convey him from
village to village. In consequence
grain pours in upon him by the guam
tity. This is disposed of by confed-
crate at the nearest fair, and then All
Sin departs for 'fresh fields and pas
lures new.'"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12

'Do museum freaks as rule marry
happily" was asked of purveyor of
freaks.
Il cannot say. Where one natural
curiosity marries another L believe
they do, as a rule. They have been
in the business together and they
know what to expect. There is no
stage glamor or tinsel attraction in it
for them. 1t is business, perhaps,
with good deal of honest sentiment
mixed up with 1t, but they get married
with their eyes opeI..
Zone OF the most remarkable mar
riages ever celebrated in this country
was that of Pat O'Brlen, the Irish
giant, and female g.3ntess, at Pitts
burg, in 1882. Ii was big affair,
and accounts of it were telegraphed
all over the world. Colonel George
q. Starr, who is now Barnum IL
BaIley's .rlght-hand confidential man,
engineered the affair. Starr was
managing Harrls's Museum at the
time, and the giants were on eX-
hlbitlou Mt that house. OBrIen was
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
WORDS OF WISEOM.

Going gently about thing won't
hinder its being done.
We have nothing to do with Gu,
past, but to get a future out of it.
Science ever has been, and ever
must be. the safeguard of religion.
A sound discretion is not so much
indicated by never making mistake
as by never repeating it.
There is transcendent power in ex.
ample. We reform others uncon-
sciously when We walk uprightly.
The way to wealth Is as plain as the
way to market; it depends chiefly on
TWO words-industry and frugality.
There is no such thing as chance,
and what to us seems accident springs
from the deepest source of destiny.
There is no action of man in this
life which is not the beginning of so
long a chain of consequences, as that
no human providence is high enough
to give us prospect to the end.
1t does us good to admire what is
good and beautiful but it does us in
tinitely more good to love it. We
grow like what we admire; but we be-
come one with what We love.
Let us with caution indulge the
supposition that morality can be
maintained without religion. Reason
and experience both forbid MS to ex-
pect that National morality can pre-
vail in exclusion of religious prin-
ciple.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
Nearly FOur Months in a DoIdrum,

Held for nearly four months in n.
equatorial doldrum or dead Sea calm
until her provisions We're exhausted
and her crew on tine verge of starvation
was the terrible experience of the Amer
lean ship Edward O'Brien, which had
long ago been given up for lost. The
ship is ownel partly in this city and
the news of her safety has just reached
the owners.
The ship let Wet ria, British Col
| onbia, earl Y in December last for Lon
don with n large cargo of wheat, and
nothing was heard of her until June
22d, when she was sighted by the
steamer Galileo, flying signals telling
that she was short OF food. She was
supplied by the steamer, and Captain
Whitton brought to New York news OF
the safety to the underwriters, who
were demanding heavy premiums for
reinsuring the vessel aul cargo.
1t was learned that the ship hal |
ma le II fine run down tha Pacific Goa {
and around the Horn, but when ne.r
the equator she hal been caught in ons
of the dreaded Gains thit prevail in
that latitude For three months she
remained within liStrnce of hall
mile from where she first struck the
calm, and during that time there was
not wind enough to fill even the light
est of her sails. Finally small cur
'ent, probably made by storm many
miles away, appeared anl served to
send her slowly ont of the locality,
which threatened at one time to be-
come place of death for all on board.
IN this current the ship drifted for al
most another month. Then a welcome
wind carried her back into the paths
Of navigation.
When the Galileo was encountered
the water supply of the Edward O'Brien
was exhausted, foo was almost down
to the last ration, and in few more
hours the men on board would have
been beyond help. After being sup
piled with food and water the ship pro-
;eeded on her way to London.-Phila'
ielphia Record.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
The Great Game Of the Chinese,

Weichi is the greatest game of tho
Chinese, especially with the literary
class, and is ranked by them superior
to chess. Like chess, this game is of
a general military and mathematical
character, but is on a much more ex-
tended scale, the board containing 261
places and employing nearly 200 men
on a side. All of the men, however,
have the came value and powers. The
object is to command as many places
on the board as possible. This may
be done by inclosing empty spaces, or
surrounding the enemy's men. Very
close calculation is always essential in
order that loss in one region may be
met by gains in another, thus employ
ing skillful stragey when the contest
ants are evenly matched. The game
has come down from great antiquity,
being first mentioned in Chinese writing
about 625 B. G. 1t was in oil proba-
bility introduced by the Babylonian
astronomers, who were at that time in
structors of all the East. Chicago
Herald.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
ExpensiYe ROYAL Regalias.

The King of Portugal has the most
valuable crown. The jewels OF this
monarch's crown are said to be valued
at Sc, 500,0O0
One of the costliest crowns in
Europe is that worn by the Gar of
Russia on state occasions. 1t is sur
mounted by a cross formed OF five
magnificent diamonds, resting upon
an immense uncut but polished ruby.
The coronet of the Empress contains
the most beautiful mass of diamonds
ever collected in one band.
The crown of the Queen-Empress of
of Great Britain, valued at 81, 500, 900,
contains one large ruby, one large
sapphire, sixteen others, eight en-
eralds, four smaller rubies, 1860 bril-
liant diamonds, 1878 rose diamonds,
four drop-shaped pearls and 269 other
pearls.
In official dress the Sultan of Johore
wears-including his crown, SO, ,000,-
900 worth of diamonds. His collar,
epauletts, belt, cuffs and orders blaze
heavy gold bracelets, and his fingers
are cramped with almost priceless
rings. The handle and scabbard of
his sword are solid mass of precious
stones.
The most expensive royal regalias il
the world are those of the Maharajah
of Baroda, India. First comes a gorg-
eous collar containing 500 diamonds
arranged in five rows, some as large as
walnuts. Top and bottom rows of
emeralds of equal size relieve the
luster of the diamonds. San Francisco
Chronicle.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
A NOVEL UNDERTAKING.
A Great Company Furnishes Its Ems
plOyes Free Medical Attendance.

William l.. Douglas, President OF tn
Nv. L. Douglas Shoe Co., has always
hal great personal interest in the army Of
men and women vino inhabt the great fac.
tory at Montello, Mass. He is great he
lever in the idea that manufacturers should
have this personal interest in the condition
oftheir employees, and feels that IL the idea
is carried out to the extent that Is possible,
that it will result ultimately in the breaking
down OF the barriers which have been built
up between employers and those whom they
employ.
he has originated is a good one, and he has
now put il 10 practical test. A few days ago
he handed to every person in his employ
and they form n small army-a card, which
entitled the bearer ''io full and free medicai
Douglas Shoe Company. 4 competent and
skiliul physician will be at the private Office
o. the com pany at IL M, daily, except Sun
days and holidays. If said employee should
lie detained at home by sickness, the ply
stefan will give full and free medical attend
ance there"
Blank spaces are left in the card for the
name and residence of the employe, and it
is signed by Mr.. Douglas, as President of the
W. l.. Douglas Shoe Company. The condi-
lions printed on the card are as follows
.'Ihe physician will not make visits outside
able. and does not apply to the family OF the
employe, and must be returned as soon as
the term OF employment ceases This privi-
lege is free gilt o! the company and Is no
part OF the contract tor wages, and may be
made void by the company, at its own
option. without notice."
A doctor has been engaged to attend sick
employees, and everything that medical skill
can accomplish will be done for them dur
ing illness.
This is practical illustration Of the plan
II will doubtless be appreciated by the hum
dreis who receive the cards. Mr.. Douglas
bell yes there a.e hundred Is of workingme
and workingwomen who fin a doctors bill
great burden after a period OF enforced
idleness, and that if this Is lifted from them
they must feel that their employer is inter-
ested in them in some ether way than SIM
ply 10 get all the work he can for just as lit
tie money as he can. Mr.. Douglas says also
that there are men and women who keep
at work when 1t would be better for
their health if thy laii off dav or
two and received medical atten anc'. I i. n
again they will now feel free to consult the
doctor for slight troubles, which hereto fore
they would not 90 because OF the cost.
Speaking of the W. l.. Douglas Shoe Co., il
may be said urt her that in their factory the
principle of arbitration is recognized. MIR.
Douglas is a firm believer in the principle
and has been since he establi ishment of the
State Board OF Arbitration. The firm obliges
every employe 10 sign an agreement TO su :
NIT any disagreement that may arise, an
which cannot be settled by the inter. ell
parties. TO the State Board of Arbitration,
the decision OF that Boar TO be final
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
An Educated Snake.

A COW belonging to John II. Snaye.
y, farmer living two miles south of
;harpsburg, was observed to stop and
below regularly at n large tree in the
ane. while the cattle were being driven
rom the field. Some boys watched
Ter one day and observed large black
make approach and milk the COW.
Driving her home they told Philip
lumm, who works on the farm, who
,ot into the tree with gun and waited
or results. When the cows came from
he field this particular COW stopped at
he tree and beloved, when the snake
ppeared and was shot by Lumm.-
.ntietam Valley CAL Record.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
THE DEATH STROKE

Twas the sunny Syrian sea
Of the coast Of Tripon
And the ronclads Of England were at
play;
While their mimic thunder rent
With its roar the armament.
as they tackled and they r--suvred IN the
= bay
For our navy IS the pride
Ol that sea without tide,
And our home is on the deep amid the
spray.
somethinc terribly aniss
In momont! That or this.
Man or mechanism? Well, DO not know
On the gallant flagship came,
Quick rs stroke OF lightning flame
Or the giant rush OF tempest, such D-ow
That. her harness rent, she bowed;
and mighty iron shroud,
With her Admiral and crew che sank
below,
DO you deem they should have died
ON fierce and redeemed tide.
In the fury and the glory of the fight?
With the ensign shot to rags,
And with striking Of the flags
OF the foemen on the left and on the
right;
With brave rescue from the wreck,
And wild cheering on the deck,
That Britannia had not parted with her
might?
Re such glory what it may,
Yet I venture still to saw
That these shall not lose their guerdon or
their fame,
Though they died without blow:
We'll, the Highest-died He so;
and our land shall shrine their memory and
their name:
Tor the man who, in the host,
Is death stricken at his post,
at is finished may triumphantly eZclaim
There is grief Ior ne and you,
but for Tyron AMI his crew
Happy future as was honor in the p.st;
Though the Admiral no more
May hear wind or water roar,
Though his sailors cannot battle with ths
blast,
For, the Pilot OF all seas,
He will welcome souls like these,
Ami shall guide them to fair havcn-lani !
at last.
-I.ondon Athenaum.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1894-12-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A tea party-An old maid.-Truth.
The time to burn letter is before
it is mailed. Galveston News.
Every man has his price, excep.
those that are worth buying.-Puck.
The difference between marbles and
billiards is about ten years in the age
of the play. Puck.
A deaf man cannot be legally con.
victed 1t is unlawful to convict
man without hearing. .-Siftings.
Father -law-'I am ruined; all is
lost" Standardization! Then l
married for love, after all Tit Bits.
If there were no great fools in the
world, We wouldn't be nearly so well
satisfied with ourselves as we are
Puck.
"She never told her love-" But il
he didn't get wind of it, it was no
fault of the busy-bodies. Boston
Transcript.
A minister who was given n match
sealed in an envelope for Il wedding fee
made light of the imposition. -Phila'
ielphia Record.
'.Did Bilkem leave anything when
he died?" Yes; his creditors.
They're the worst left lot you ever
saw. Buffalo Courier.
The fool seeketh to pluck the fly
from the mu,e's hind leg, but the wise
man letteth the job to the lowest bid
der.--Memphis Appeal.
Applicant-''Will there be chance
to get up in the world?" Proprietor
cat half-past three in the morning"
Kate Fields Washington.
She-'I wonder why they call the Sc
angel sleeves?" He-''What else
could they be called when you wear
them ?'-Indianapolis Journal.
No one can appreciate the value of
q match as can the smoker who lives
in a house that is lighted by electric
light and heated by steam.-Life.
She-"Am the first girl you ever
proposed to, darling?" He sincerely
mo; but you are the only ly girl who
ever accepted me. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Friend-''You don't take any out.
ing in the summer. l suppose?' Ice
nan-''Well, no; that's when I have
my innings, you know. detroit Tri-
bune.
81 have notion to poke you in ths
face, said the boy to the banana.
''What face?" asked the banana. ''My
face" said the boy.-Indianapolis SEN
tinel.
Philosophers go about saying this
is woman's age. According to her own
ing any age; she is always young
Flaming Sword.
GLOW do you like your new lady
help, Mrs. Todgers.' 'T should liko
her a good deal more, Mrs. Dodgers,
if she was little less the lndy and a
little more of a help" It'd Bits.
Novelist - I'D like to have my
heroine do something absolutely
unique" Friend-''Yes? Why don't
you have her faint when there's no
one looking. Detroit Tribune.
Tramp-"Can you assist me along
the road, mum?" Lady of the House
--"Personally, cannot; but I will
uLc.- N IL. 80, ..At L 4inow he Will
be most pleased to do so. "-Tit-Bits
"Aren't You in the grave-robbing
business?' asked the lawyer. "My
profession, sir" responded the wit
ness, with dignity, 'is that of exhum-
atorial artist. indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Flockton-'T wonder is it true?
People say that you sometimes go to
sleep over your sermons" Parson
Dunleigh-"People, I suspect, Judge
me by themselves. Boston Tran
script.
"Then you think can never learn
to dive. 1 don't see why?" Professor
My dear young lady, you must re-
member that you would have to keep
your mouth shut. Chicago Inter
Ocean.