The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-02-10
The ameha ay saturday aHoriug February o. 1894
risks of wounded pride at one Of these ban

risks Of wounded pride at one Of these ban
quoting hall ordeals.
1t Is no light matter to face one OF these
dinner tables. The most experienced after
dinner talker finds his evening Transformed
from an occasion of pleasure into one OF
torture through consciousness OF the TACT
that he is likely to be called out at any mo-
ment, being introduced by the POSTMASTER
with the words which will make him most
uncomfortable, and with dozen or score
of bright fellows sitting round waiting .
chance to interrupt, to roast and to guy
him. An ordeal like this is likely to make
even the hardest of dinner campaigners
nervous, and IL is met that men who I'M
der ordinary circumstances make bright
speeches, with self confidence and aplomb,
humble and halt and hesitate when facing
these newspaper inquisitOrs.
The man who hesitates is lost. The
speaker who mumbles word. who halts
longer than is required to catch his breath,
will find his ears assailed with cries OF sit
down. If he attempts to tell astory which
most OF the crowd have heard before, the
first pause will be taken advantage OF by
the roasters to strike up:
Oh, what chestnut, what chestnut, what .
chestnut, just now!
Slightly Discoura8ing.
The man who starts off with the remark,
"Mr. President, yon will scarcely expect
me to make long speech at this time Of
the night" is sure to be hailed with: NO
we do not. Sit down." The unfortunate
speaker who spars for breath by filing in
with, What shall I say?" is sure to hear
Gn 81 lob NNfh nrrGJ
The orator who falls to talking about him
self and what he has done is only laying up
q store Of wrath for himself. There was a
case in point at recent dinner. A young
official who has made a peculiar success in
his post, and who is well liked, thought to
improve the opportunity for sounding his
own bazoo little. He proceeded to tell Of
various things that he had done, giving
quite a list of his accomplishments, and was
about to extend this indefinitely when cor
respondent with strong lungs interjected
the following:
That's all right, but did you ever quit"
This sally was greeted with such roar
of laughter that under its cover the young
official thought he would do we'll to take
the hint and sat down.
The after dinner speaker who makes the
best Roadway is one who accepts the situa-
tion as it appears and becomes rooster
on his own account. The man who praises
the newspapers, or who passes around COM
pliments for the club, is sure to be groaned
into misery. But the orator who launches
out into all the abuse he can think of, with
newspaper men and the press generally az
his victims, is sure to be well received.
The livelier this TRADE, the more bitter and
effective, the better the clubmen like it.
They will sit as calm as oysters and take
their medicine, or, if commenting at all,
exclaiming: That's the stuffp' Hit US
again. you're all right" This point
may be Of service to men who have never
attended one of these big dinners, and who
may some day be called upon to stand their
roasting.
Refinement of Cruelty.
At recent big dinner of one of these
clubs the menu cards bore long list of
toasts. Among those assigned to speak on
conventional topics, like 1.-The Ladies'"
1.-The Capital City" 1.-THE President" etc,
were members of the cabinet, senators and
representatives. These men had had no prior
notice of what was expected of them. As
soon as the oysters were served they looked
for it. At once, as is human nature, they
began thinking over what they would say.
l CHANGED to sit beside one of these victims,
and though ordinarily one Of the brightest
of conversationists not a word could
get out of him. He was eating in a me-
chanical sort of way and chewing the cud
of meditation, running over in his mind
the stories which he used to tell and trying
to bring to the front, on some sort of pretext
or other, the jokes which he once success
fully cracked.
My friend and neighbor passed most
uncomfortable evening. So did the six or
eight other gentlemen who were in the same
category. Every minute they expected to
be called out. But at last the hour of mid
night had arrived, and not one of them had
been called upon. Then the toast master
announced that owing to the lateness Of
the hour it would be necessary to postpone
these speeches till the next annual dinner,
and thus, after being kept on the gridiron
of suspense for four long hours, the poor
victims were permitted to escape into the
night air, where they could cool their fe
versd brows. OF course there never lad been
the slightest intention of calling upon them
to respond to the printed tossts. The whole
scheme had been arranged as a refinement
of cruelty which only newspaper CORE
spondent could be guilty of.
Two Gavel Taps.
It is a serious question if the roasting"
dinner has not had its day. The process
makes great fun for the club and for those
guests who know they are not likely TO be
called out, but it is death to the other fell