Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1894-02-03
no be continusd.l
THE PAUPsR MoNoPoLlsT.
His Brief but Rsmarkabi- Career OF
Prosperity and How IL Faded.

1t happened in tiny Yorkshire VIII
lage "a peaceful. respectable SPOT,
where folks found life bit slow. says
Jerome X. Jerome in Novel Notes"
One day, however, new curatc ar
rived, and that woke things up con-
siderably. He was nice young man,
and, having a large private income Of
his own, was altogether most desir-
able catch. Every unmarried female
in the place went for him with one ac-
cord. But ordinary feminine bland
ishments appeared TO have no effect
upon him. He was a seriously inclined
young man. and once, ia the course of
casual conversation upon the sub
ject OF love. he was heard to say that he
should never be attracted by mere beau
ty and charm. What would appeal TO
him, he said, would be a woman's
gooduess-her charity and kindliness
to the poor.
Well, that set the pctticoats all
thinking. They saw that in studying
fashion plates and practicing express
sions they had been going upon the
wrong track. The card for them to
play was "the poor" But here Sc
rious difficulty arose. There was only
one poor person in the whole parish, y
cantankerous old fellow who lived in a
tumble-down cottage ut the back OF
the church, and fifteen able-bodied
women eleven girls. three old maids.
and widow wanted TO be good TO
him. Miss Simmonds, one of the old
maids, got hold Of him first, and COM
menced feeding him twice day with
beef tea. and then the widow boarded
him with port wine and oysters.
Later in the week others of the party
drifted in upon him and wanted to
cram him with jelly and chickens.
The old man couldn't understand it.
He was accustomed 10 a small sack of
Goals now and then, accompanied by
long lecture on his sins, and an occa-
sional bottle of dandelion tea. This
sudden squirt on the part Of Providence
puzzled him. He said nothing. how
ever. but contriyed 10 take in as much
Of rything as he could hold. At
the end of a month he was too fat to
get through his own back door.
foiK grew kecner every uay. ana AT
/
airs and TO make the place hard for
them. He made them clean his cot
tage ous and cook his meals, and when
he was tired Of having them about the
house he set them to work in his gar
den. They grumbled a good deal, and
there was talk at one time of 4 sort OF
a strike, but what could they do? He
was the only pauper for miles round,
and knew il. He had the monopoly,
and, like all monopolists. he abused
his position. He made them run er.
rands. He sent them out 20 buy "bac.
cy" at their own expense. On one oc-
casion he sent Miss Simmouds out with
jug to get his supper beer. She in
dignantly refused at first, but he told
her that il she gave him any of her
stuck-up airs out she would 90 and
never come into his house again. Ii
she wouldn't do it there were plenty
Of others who would. She knew it and
went.
They had been in the habit of read
ing 10 him-good books with an cle-
waiting tendency. But now he had put
his foot down on that sort OF thing.
He said he didn't want Sunday-school
rubbish at his time OF life. What he
liked was something spicy. And he
made them read him French novels
and seafaring tales containing realistic
language. And they didn't have to
SKIP anything either, or he'd know the
reason why. lie said he liked music.
SO q few Of them dubbed together and
bought him harmonium. Their idea
was that they would sing hymns and
play high-class melodies. but it wasn't
his. His idea was Keeping Up the
Old Girls Birthday" aud she Winkcd
the Other Eye with chorus and skirt
dance. and that's what they sang.
TO what length his tyranny would
have gone it is difficult TO say had not
an event happened that brought his
power to a premature collapse. This
was the curate's sudden aud somewhat
unexpected marriage with a very
beautiful bur,esque actress who had
lately been performing in neighbor-
ing town. He gave up the church on
his engagement in consequence OF his
financee's objection TO become \ min
!ster's wife. She said she could never
stumble to" the district visiting. With
the curaie's wedding the old pauper's
brief career OF prosperity ended. They
packed him of TO the workhouse after
that and made him break stones.