The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-09-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY

Few of us need lantern in order to
find fault. Milwaukee Journal.
Take care of the pennies, and the
dollars will be blown in by your heirs.
Puck.
Narrow minds go beyond the deed
and search for the motive-Syracuse
Courier.
Who ever made dollar by envying
anybody better off than himself?-
Troy Press.
It never cools man off when the
street sprinkler throws water on him.
-Atchison Globe.
One thing woman never can learn
that liquids will leak out of PASTE
board lunch box. Puck.
Take out of some people all the af-
fectation aud they will have nothing
left to live for.-Galveston News.
Oil for troubled waters is nothing
compared with water for sllaying the
rampant tendencies of dust. Puck.
He tpassionately)-"You are my
life" She (practically)-"Have you
got it insured ?"--Detroit Free Press.
"With all her faults, love her still,
They heard him sadly say;
"The trouble is, she never will
Consent to keep that way"
Washington Star.
Don't fool with wasp because you
think he looks weak and tired; you
will find out he's all right in the end.
Lowell Courier.
"That's what 1 call good deal OF
take off," lamented the carriage
horse, .turning to look at its docked
tail. Chicago Tribune.
Another dey gone" said the Sui
tan as he saw the head fall of. But
it doesn't matter so long as it isn't
ours. Princeton Tiger.
Judge-"Then you gave us wrong
age?" Elderly Female-"Not wrong
exactly-at least it was all right some
years ago. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
II you're waking call me early;
Ring the breakfast bell at three.
Nothing matters SO / miss our
Neighbor's singing "Sweet Marie
Chicago Inter-Oeean.
Head of tho "Humph Book.
er off again to-day? What's his ex.
cuso this time? A lame one, I'll betT
Clerlimen-"Yes, sir; broke his leg,
sir. Buffalo Courier.
Teacher "The race is not always to
the swift. Do you understand the IN
ner meaning of that?" Bright boy
Sometimes the head feller's tire gets
puuctured GOOD News.
II you are out of work a clean face,
blacked shoes, and nose without
blossom will be better introduction
! thau diamond stud or gold watch
chain. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
''You are nothing but big bluff, "
remarked the river to the bank. ''Is
| that sop rctorted the bank. III L
| take a notion 20 come down on you,
your name will be mud.
polls journal.
Kittie--'I heard to-day you mar
ried your husband TO reform him.
Sarah-'I did" Kithe-"Why, i
didn't know he had any bad habits. v
Sarah -"He had one--he was bache-
lor. "--Tit-Bits.
] hINs hllAlhNl - A'A AhA hNN'o "NNN'f
there being thirteen at the table to-
night" "Does she think something
unpleasant will haPponF eyes; she
has only dozen knives and FORKS. 80
Chicago iuter-Ocesn.
Buh-"Hcllol Ton awfully glad TO
see you?' Di-k--"l guess there must
be some mistake / dout owe Won
anything gud 1 ann upt in "a condition
TO place you iu "a position To owe me-
anything. '- Boston Transcript
ronix-"My friend Soarer's busi-
moss frequently puts his life in danger,
but Two never yet known him 10 de-
sert his post" Toddios -''"1ets his
busiuessY' ToniX -"Ho's AL aero
naut. South Boston News.
Figg--"l'yc GO, a good story ! want
10 tell YOU. fntF-- "llal hal hal'
Figg "Wuat ia ,iur age you laugh
ing atg' "HotE "toIr story. Nou
SAY Il d, a -,nI Quo; 90 ui course 1
must have h.4gl it '--B Bost"a Tran
script.
Mrs NvWitt-'I discovered tina
morning that We ueed d9ormst ioI
the hallway very badly. Dir NsNlti
lis there any nsT,iculsr necessity
for itY' NFs. Aevitt-"Whyi Ger
tainlyi To gut 10 have toms place 20
hide tie hey when | 60 out. hArel
J IY"--Syutl Boston News