Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-02-11

A Lecture by Rev. wangdoodle Baxter.
Reported by Alex sweet

Belubbed bredderen an cisterern or
de Thompson Street Blue Light Taber-
nscle.
Oars an erstonishin' ermount OBJ de
darkest kind Ob ignunce ermong de
dis heah brillantine congregashun, an
ermong Sam Johnsing in perticKerler
ia regard ter Saint Valentine, an de
celebrashun OBJ his animadversary.
Hits a solum fac dat last yeah Sam
Johnsing, de most talented cullered
kalsominer 10 New Yawk. an one ob de
most intellsrgent darkies in de city, was
runnin' Ground all ober Harlem wid fire
ernuf in his eye ter start contiergra-
shun, an wild er te-handed razor in
his hip-pocket. Huh! wasn't dat niggah
mad? He was so red-hot dat Of you had
teched him wild wet finger lie would
hab sized; yes, indeed, he would.
Watyer spose was de matter wild himp
He was huntin' for Mistah Saint Wsllen-
tine, whom he excused OBJ habia' sent
him a letter what was a consult.
Sam didn't know dat. on general
principles, all de SANS is dead, per-
tickerlery in New Yswk. He wouldn't
0leeve me when l told him ter go soak
his head, an dat old man Valentine
died befoah de wah. De ignunce OBJ
some members 90 dis congregashun
makes me blush foah my sex. Sam was
as badly fooled as was Deakin Aminidah
BledSo, who is Snorin' loke saw mill
ober dar in de Amen corner. He bet
two dollahs OBJ his own money dat Ker-
lumbus hadn't passed 10 his checks yet,
but was libin somewhat in de State OBJ
Ohier. When l told him dat Kerlum-
bus climbed de golden stairs at de be-
ginnin' ob de nineteenf century, he
jers grinned like de porehouse idjit dat
ne is.
My cullered bedroom an cistern,
what mus Chancey Depu and de rest OBJ
de Csucashuns think erbCut de inteller-
gence Of US Afro-Mericans, when Sam
JohnSing an Deakin Bledso make SIGH
bad brakes. For dis reason has called
yer tergedder on dis suspishus erka-
shun ter turn the calcium light OF
knowledge inter de dark recesses OBJ yer
interleC's, on de subjeC' OF Saint Wal
lentine, so dat when you mingles in con-
versashun wid de white folks dey won't
hab de ha-ha on yer as dey did on Sam
Johnsing when he went eroun' pullin'
de doah bells, an askin' II he could hab
a talk on bizpess wild Mishah Saint Wal
lentine. | is prepared to furnish de
latest fac's in regard ter Saint Wallen-
tine, an ! wants yer ter listen US II yer
inspected me Oh intendin' ter invite yer
ter wet yer coffee coolers at my ex-
pense.
For some weeks past yer must hab
notised In de shop windows some euler
ed works ob art dat are celebrated ter
make craven image weep. You sees
pictures ob ladies' an gennemens wild
'0lue hair and yeler noses, an express
sons on dar collecshun OF features dat
void scare blind boss in de dark.
I pictures am de fust warnin' symp-
toms dat Saint Valentine is gettin'
ready ter celebrate his buff-day. Last
yeah, yore belubbed pasture had ter
pay cent extra postage ter get pict-
ure Ob hissef In which he had a mouf
dat looked like 4 coal hole in de side
walk.
don't deny, bekass hit speaks for
hitself, dat has one OBJ desc large ex-
presSve cOpius mOufs, but hit hain't as
big ASIDE mouf Oh de Amerzon Ribber,
which am hundred miles wide. Some
ob dc most talented expounders ob de
Gospel has ost berry same brand oh
mouf, so l has no reason ter be ershamed
ob my conversational aperture. At der
same time, I'd like ter hab de party who
mailed me dat valentine in some seclu-
ded dell for a few minitS. Hits my
candid erpinyon dat dar would be a
hurry call for averlanches, and he would
go ter de Bellvu HOspitable or de
Morgue in two ob dose averlanches.
Yes, my belubbed brederen and cist-
ern, dis am deason ob de yeah when de
mean puSsOn can reek heap OF veng
snce for penny. Hits CRATE day for
de synonermous ibeIler. In de inspired
langwidge o0 de pockeck.
when ebber you meet a man or maid,
Wild a skOwl like ruts in e. mud road laid,
An lips pressed tight on de firm set teef,
Ter keep de angry tung bernesf,
Yer mout safely V. ana swar by de sign,
Dat de mail has brung valentine
ayes. indeedy hits a CRATE day for de
pussun what wants ter git eben wild
man he Amt stuck on, wild out takin'
any foolish chances. If man as big as
NTOLlaF WIS lUk LUuD bCA ALNs az NNii nlO
confdenshally dat my mouf reminded
him OBJ one ob desc Florida alleggaites
when hit yawns, or dat de top OBJ my
head looked like an island when |
smiled, hit mout be two mumfs befosh
be would be able ter git out on clutches.
But he can say all dat, an er heap noah
wild a penny valentine, and take no
risks at all.
Not all de valentines is spiteiul.
Deres de valentines wild little cubics,
an true love nots, an hearts wild gilt
arrers sticken' in 'em, which is intended
ter siguerly love between de Opposin'
sexes, but, as far as dat goes de right
purty gal is her own valentine. In fac,
valentines has been utilized for pop
ping deb0uestion. De young man who
Uerposes wild wallehtine fru de post
oils misses de fun ob seem de gal blush.
But talkin' ob seem de gal blush, re-
minds me dat l is addreSsin' a cullered
Awiience. Dis blusbin' biZneSs is mo-
noperlized to great extent by de white
folks. When er lady is one Oh desc
brunettes, wild a cOmplecshun like the
inside ob 4 box 90 bIackin', she mOut
blush like house on fire, an nobody
but herself would cher know hit. Dis
applies ter de dark mahogany, an me-
Iasses cullered ladies. At de same time,
the cullered lady who is strawberry
blonde, wild a complecshun like a ripe
pumpkin gilded by de golden tintS oh
de settin' sun, kin blush like Sairy Ber-
hard, OF Missus Langtry, but the darker
shades OBJ cullered brunettes is born ter
blush unseen.
read in a paper dat valentine
means a heap ter a wildly. Yes, and six
mumis afterwards il sometimes means
= &. tor dor man y-ho sands IL Kan