Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-02-22
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
IN0S HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


good.
The passion some women have for
attending auctions Is more-bid
taste -Siftings.
OF all queer sights in a courtroom
the cross examiner Is the Querist.-
Yonkers Gazette.
THE, British attack took all the
spring out Of the Sofas of Sierra
Leone. Lowell Courier.
THE reason those people succeed so
well who mind their own business is
because there is so little COMPETE
tion.
OUR experience in Western society
has been that everything is very
pleasant until the singing begins.
Atchison Globe.
TIE King of Italy is not much
over five feet in height; Uncle Sam,
also, is rather short at present.
Philadelphia Ledger.
CUsTOMER-That's a queer shaped
piece Of pie. Looks something like
turnover. Waiter-No, sir; it's
iCiVONCl.-pOOu NCWS.
THE only time man can perfectly
control himself under excitement is
when he is hunting a burglar
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. NoRRIs-Do you mind my
having a dressmaker in the house
next week? Mr.. Norris (craftily)-
No; not If she's pretty.
Observation-Disclosures queer-shaped
piece Of pie. Looks something like
a turnover" Waiter-"No, sir; it's a
leftover. Good News
ONE of the times when a woman
has no mercy on man is when he
comes to her store to buy bonnet
for his wife.-Ram's Horn.
"BILKEIN's is a strong face, or I'm
no judge Of physiognomy" at ought
to be. He and his whole family are
living on it. Buffalo Courier.
ORIGINAL sin was the cause of the
fall OF man, and now when a man
falls it is the cause OF good deal Of
original sin.-Binghamton Republi-
can.
AFTER the meet: Miss Harkaway-
"And how did you get on after the
first fence?' Mr.. Newe- Nimrod-
"Oh, I-er-got off at the first fence"
lid Bits.
THERE are good many idle ROOM
ers about" said the boarding house
mistress, quite number of whose
victims were out of work. -Yonkers
Statesman.
Mr.. WICKwIRE-"I have had such
a queer humming noise in my head
all day" Mrs. Wickwirc-"Why don't
you try little machine oil?"-Indi-
annapolis Journal.
PIKE hear that q number OF
ballots were thrown out in my dis
trict as defective. Dyke-What was
the defect? Pike-Cast for the
wrong candidate.
AUNTIE-It isn't good form to hold
your fork in that way. Little Niece
Aunte, do you think it is good form
to stare at folks while they are eat.
ing?-Good News.
HE-Did you ever hear that Jag
sons wife speaks two languages?
She-Yes. He-What are they?
She-The one for company and the
other for Jagson.
BLUsTER-Do you mean to say that
I am liar? Blister-I hope that I
could not do so unsentlemanly a
thing. But l see you catch my idea.
-BOston Transcript.
BY permitting smoking only as a
reward for good behavior, the Belgian
prison authorities have been able to
weed out great many petty trou-
bles. -Philadelphia Ledger.
A BURGLAR who was seized as he
was entering the second-story win
dow tried hard TO get off on the plea
that he belonged to hook and lad
der company. Lowell Courier.
Il MUST say that our union men
work like lightning" says the jocose
general manager. "How is that?"
asked the proprietor. "They rarely
strike twice in the same place. -
Truth.
THE white folks spend a great deal
Of time and money trying to curl
their hair, and the colored people
patronize every peddler who sells a
decoction warranted to take the curl
out.-Atchison Globe,
YOUNG WIFE-What is baby try
ing to say, dear? Husband-Give it
up. He seems to be trying to manu-
facture word about twenty sylla-
bles long. Young Wife-Isn't that
lovely! He'll be great scientist
some day!-Puck.
SUNDAY-sCHooL TEACHER And
the dead arose from their graves and
appeared to many" Undertaker's
small daughter (giggling) - Then
they must have looked awful funny.
You know the shrouds only 20 half
way round. Judge.
Two LADIES in trolley car were
discussing a young gentleman friend.
"Has he any talent for drawing?"
asked one. "Of course" said the
other spiritedly, she told me heonce
drew beautiful, turkey at a rattle. +"
philadelphia Record.
HE-"You say there are no flowers
for the dinner table! Where are the
chIysanthemums ! sent homer" She
-"Oh, George, don't speak so loud;
you might hurt Bridgets feelings;
she didn't understand what they
we're and has cooked them In milk