davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1894-05-11
THRIFTY OF HIS HUMOR.

Mr.. Frank r. Stockton. who makes
his living by humor. in the course of
an address at the annual dinner OF the
Authors club last night got OFF moth
Ing new except the old Joke about
books. and how sweet life was to the
man Of letters who could own n library
and look at its beautiful bindings with
delightful consciousness that he did
not have to soil them for the purpose
OF getting at their contents.
OF course. we understand that Mr.
Stockton sells all his fun--it Is pretty
good fun. too-and II is rather unreason-
able to expect him 10 give away Jokes
To fellow authors who pay him nothing
for his annual dinner remarks: but when
man OF genius aspires to appear pleas
ant and happy IN his prandial patter. it
seems foolish and unfeeling for him to
20 back to the Herculaneum of tokery
and dig up such an old iava-incrusted
gag as that which Is here quoted. Why
didn't he try to disguise the dear old
mummy Of merriment. by giving fin-
de-siecle twist to its toggery? Antique
jokes have to be up-to-datcd now or
they don't go.
II was really a shame for Mr. Stockton
to disturb debilitated bit of pleasantly
like this. II puts him on a par with the
| journalist at the Press Association din
| ner who ruthlessly drags gu; the with
| cred time Erlmcd chunk of persiflagc
about newspaper men living without eat
| ing, and buffctinE their way through life
on borrowed money,
The evening world., 1894-05-11
CROSSING THE STREET.
How Some OF the Fair Sex pick
Their Why ut Yusy Curncrs

Did you ever watch women cross the
street? tn" Philadelphia Times asts.
There Is the sweet young thing who
picks her way even though the Iup,S
be swep, bright and clean. She always
possesses small feet and wears pretty
shoes ana smart Gowns ANA has an ap-
praliny look in her ry" when she starts
over IN" policemen always help her
though they know sh" needs no help.
and she knows they know it. But that
makes no difference at all. Tn" men
always stop on the curhing to see if
sh" reaches her destination All right.
Then there Is the business young
woman, who plung.s into tn" fray in
awful absent -miniednrSs, Somctimrs
sh" picks up her dress skirt, but She
usually forEct3 all about II, and her
shoes are not new, anyhow. III" police
men know they ought To help her, but
she Is always across before they get to
her, and she gives them fearful shocks
because they know she is doomed to
be run down som" day, and they only
hope II VIII b" ON the next fellow $
crossing. 1t all comes Of her having
her mind occupied. a woman with nn
occupied mind is bound to upset things
And finally there Is the poor little
timid woman who is druthly afraid Of
truck horses ana Is shahh!ly dressed and
liable to heart disease SHE gets across
anyhow, no one knows iust how, he
cause the first two varieties take up all
the attention.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
NOW AcEPHAIOUs.

The resignation OF Mr.. Richard
Croker as leader OF the Tammany De
mocracy was formally rendered and ac-
ccpted YESTERDAY. and nominally the or
ganizatIon Is today az headless as 1cha-
bod Cranes horseman. Indeed. to make
the siml. more exact. II may be said
that 1t has pumpkin at present to rep
resent a head
The resignation. a most important
movement for the organization. was not
attended by much excitement. EulO-
CYSTIC speeches were made and one
member Of the Committee, Fire Com
missioner Scannell. refused to consent
to It's acceptance. and cast the single
vote recorded in the negative But
from the general feeling manifested. so
different from what 1t would have been
two or three years ago, II IL evident
that there Is II want Of harmony In the
body, and that the retirement OF the
leader Is not wholly unacceptable.
The selection OF Contractor MCQundc
as Chairman Of the Finance Committee
in MIR Croker's place seems on the sur
face 10 create doubt of the actual all.
dication Of the old chief. MIR. McQuale
Croker. and his selection ~ not accept
able to the Executive cominttee. But
1t Is conceded that 1t was not made at
Mr.. Crok"r's dictation, but is in fact, Il
sort OF compromise or bridging over OF
the question of "A real successor and
was favored by all the aspirnnts until
the fight for the leadership can be
fought out.
The real contest Is between Mayor Gil
roy and Police Commissioner Martin
and II is likely to be n severe one. Mr.
Gilroy possesses considerable capacity
Gilroy possesses considerable capacity, but
some persons regard him as too impctu-
Gus for a leader. and in that respect
consider Commissioner Martin the bet
ter qualified for the position. Mr..
Croker is understood to favor the May
or's aspirations.
1t Is not probable that the question OF
| n leader viii be settled until after the
| next election. 1t IL now believed that
| Tammany will go to defeat next No
| vember. II It should be beaten. with II
disorganized army. which will be used
| as the excuse for It's overthrow.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
THE CLASS IN PHYSIOLOGY.
Nr. Kicker Was Reminded of
Period In His Own History.

The class In physiology was reciting.
The professor was lecturing on food, and
he had just been telling the young men
and women that there were certain sub
an indefinite length OF time: He cited
several perfect natural foods and told
WHY eaGm one ,e met mik all re}nremsnts he
said. lis a most excellent food. 1t will
support life for weeks. II no other food
is used"
The tall young man who liked to argue
stood up and said: OF course. DR.. Tes-
tube. ! don't want to dispute the cor
rectness of your assertion. but ! cofess
any person could live exclusively on
milk"
DR.. Testube looked rather bored, says
the Buffalo Express.
Mr.. Kicker's theory?"he asked, CLAN
cling around the classroom.
No one cared to argue that point.
The professor turned to Mr.. Kicker
again. " understand you to say, Mr..
Kicker. that you do not think a diet of
milk exclusively will support life, Am l
You are, sir. / admit that milk is
an excellent thing. 1t Is nourishing, and
all that, but the idea that n person can
live on II alone is preposterous. prepos-
terous, sir"
" Prepostcrous, is it?"
Yes, sir; that is what meant. No
person could live more than few days
on H. That is, no human"
The professor smiled n sad. sweet
smile. Think back. MIR, Kicker" he
said, while the class listened eXpectant-
ly. =" turn your mind back eighteen or
twenty years and see II you did not live
on II eSXcl,gstyeeIy for considerable
And just here. MIR. Kicker sat down
very hard.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
THROUGH 4 STRAW,
The southern style In Which Cham
pugnc becomes n Delicious Drink.

within few days the hartcnders AT
seyeraI s9n Francisco hotels have @
learned thing or two. They know now
how to mix II drink that a week ago
lh"y had not heard Of and they have
found out how southern people like
champagne. The knowledge in both in
stances was impaired by James l}
Alexis, OF New Orleans, says the San
Francisco Examiner.
WI you do me the honor TO take n
Irink?n was part OF the formula of in
this request that was the cause of telch-
inc the hurkceperS II lesson.
"A niue nnisette and abslnthe, II you
please" said Mr.. Alexis.
The man in the white apron had both
liquids in stock. but the combination
was new to him Yet he was too proud
I" ask questions. He poured the two
IN brandy glass aud showed it across
tn" mahogany.
=" Juat turn that into n whiskey glass"
directed Mr.. Alexis. and the barkeeper
did 50 with puzzled air
Now illl II up with s"ltzer"
The liquid was sluirtcd in. 1t was n
creamy, odorous mixture, and Mr., Alexis
swallowed it. The proportions dil not
seem to please him.
" You ought to come down South" he
said, and ind out how to mix drinks"
1t was suggested that anisctte and alb
sinthe was novel venture in the way
OF drinks Why, down our way" eX-
claimed Mr. Alexis. "irs as common
as champagne"
Th" initIatory appetizer had simply
served to give Mr.. Alexis satisfactory
pngne," was his next order. Very
fair was his comment " but to be ap-
prctiated champagne should he drunk
through straw out of the bottle.
That's the Southern fashion, and it's IA
good one"
one more bottle was required to test
this proposition. The cork was drawn.
The wine had been trapped until 1t was
too sl,i l1.,.l
The evening world., 1894-05-11

I consoed myself in advance in confn-
Ing myself to making him draw my
veAic!e wh..r | myself walked. that Is
II say. on steep activities. But what
was not my astoAiShment and pleasure
in finding my faithful Caesar. from the
from all fatigue, and especially draw
ing me rapidly. After a few days |
started in the presence Of fine AS
srmblage Of SPECTATORS. and with my
DOGS on a ga.lop went from Bourbole
to Mont-pJre. Without kick OF the
pedal ! was enabled TO gain twenty
minutes over ordinary carriages
Thanks to my invention. | have, there
fore. been abe to utilize the moments
that every one takes for resting after
each meal while AT the same time hav-
ing myself carried rapidly and agree
ably. and gaining in gong and return
ing thirty minutes over carriages. and
taking at will more or less moderate
exercise. | may add. too. that II Is cas-
Ter to sit upon a bicycle when a dog Is
drawing it than It IS when one Is pro-
cee.ling alone.
Dogs have a considerable force Of re
sIStancc. one day made twenty miles
Of ascent on gall5p with a few min
utcS' rest at every thrc" or four miles
AMI scarcely pelalling. Those who make
use of dogs easily get from thirty-ive
t. sixty miles ont of them with a very
poor vehicle. ! know one whl makes
ninety niles with four dogs. 1t Is true
that in descent three dogs stand in the
vehicle that on level surfaces two only
are harm ~ocl, and that IN steep aC-
c.ivitics 'he entire pack pushes or draws
the wagon.
| know an amateur who has trained a
dog II push along his bicycle at the side
scat N level surfaces and during de-
scents.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
SHERLOCK HOLINESS RETURN.
He seems to he Dcnd. hut He May
Come nncl, again.

Tn" other evening n party OF friends
We're talking of this very fact and won
d"rinG II Doyle himself did not have to
take long vaCation-for Immediately
after the "Fiual Problem was printed
hc went to Switzerland to restroom
pure grief at the loss Of Sherlock
Holmes, when n woman, says the Ros-
ton Journal looked up and said, You
have not heard the last of Sherlock
Holmes. believe me"
What do you mean? Surely not that
you believe that Holmes and MorIarity
did not plunge down into the fall Of
RclCh'ubaok after nll"'
Il am not sur" about that, ! should
not he surprised If he turned up agaiu.
hut Of on" thing am sure, that Doyle
dii not tax" all that trouble To intro
duco the brother Of the great detective.
MNrruft Holmes, into The Greek In.
t'rprot"r,' and emphasize his existence
los using him in that very last story as
a rub-lriN"r ON the morning that
Holmes and Watson Just escaped Morl-
t.'M - \.'.' station ,r n''1iu-
II Holmes Is really dead, be sure tina;
Wat"uu Is ~ see some evidence Of Grim
lnrl lf" under III, advice nf the Ioa /
mans brother the stout member of tho
h.uLuE'S tlIN.'
The evening world., 1894-05-11

When I hear that pieces of bread CT Z
not be toasted. nor the cup of soup b
warmed because the fire has just bee
fixed" writes a woman In Househol
News. know that the cook has let tn
fire burn down to the last bar of tn
crate. and then 1t Is necessary to put |
bundle of kindling and empty a who
scuttle of coal on the living embers. 3
such management much time is 10,
and much coal wasted. One hod. OF -
is sufficient to do the cooking for !
sized family in one day. II hot "
Is required sometimes a second ho
necessary to heat the water for
house. One thing must be rememE,
the fire should be raked mornings
night and the stove kept closed We
using and the upper draughts open VI
the stove is not in use. so that the l.
air striking the Goals may prevent
rapid burning.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
The Old-Fashioned Sofa.

Real old-fashioned sofas, with deep
seats and rolling arms, are again seen,
and are a genuine delight to those who
are looking for rest. The pretty little
divans and settees that are just big
enough to hold two have had their place,
and are charming in their way; but
these delightful hospitable sofas suggest
a long rest and the possibility of curling
up for protracted hours reading that
is fascinating. The hair-cloth that has
so justly fallen into direpute is happily
not seen. In its place are rich corduroys
and delightful velours. that have all the
advantage Of warm color and agreeable
surface. Like many another thing that
our grandmothers used. the sofa needed
The evening world., 1894-05-11
VENTRILOQUISTS OF OLD.
Evidence that Noicc-Throwing Is
O' Ancient ORIGIN.

Nentriloquism was unduuhtcllv known
both to the Jews and to tn" EgVptlpuS
II was used by many PERSONS for pur-
poses OF dcC"ptinN. The wizards VIII en-
p.oyed II declared, snNs an ,NChln"r
that their familiar spirit" rr-' led in
tn" abdomen, whence the voice was sun
posed to proceed The Old Testament
scriptures abound with denunciutiuns
both of persons who hal tNcsr familiar
spirits and OF thU'c who went to seek
their advice and assistance. They were
treated AS though they 'were in familiar
intercourse with III" evil one. and aC-
cording to the Jewish law, received no
mercy. Instances, however, are very
frequent in much later history OF do
C"ption being successfully uraCtisci by
persons having this peculiar gift.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
The Boston Girls Dninties.

In the sweet and balmy Summer time.
When we seem to live in a tropic cline,
And the earth is fair as an angels
dream,
I'm fond OF dish OF cool ice-eream.
In the chilly and clustering Winter
hours,
When we miss the grass and the scented
flowers,
And the songbird's lays and the skies so
blue,
I'm fond OF the toothsome oyster stew.
Throughout the year. whether cold or
hot,
There's a dainty baked in an earthen
pot.
To which my inclination leans
on q Sunday morning-pork and beans.
Boston Courier.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
On Rainy Days.

on rainy days in nrcllEht's glow
How n"nC"fully the long hours go:
Tn" willing ucrl llo swiftly nies,
| hum oia-fashiuu,d melodies,
And old dreams hang like golden haze
About my brain on RAINY days,
on rainy days life seems so sure.
My shut-ln dwelling so secure;
bring 70 light gr,ct treasures dear,
Ana grant them many a silent tear.
Into my heart on rainy days
on rainy days the evening sky
Rolls back the sulen drapery.
That all day long has hovered low;
Beneath the glistening houghs ] 60,
Where wild birds chirp their happy LAYS
When sunshine follows rainy days.
Juliet v Strauss.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
Luxuries of the Dairy.

MIX, butter and eggs are table luxu-
ries. Dealers take advantage of every
spell Of bad weather 10 force UP prices
and consumers have the choice OF in.
ferior products or eXtortion. For the
second weak In April the following prices
prevailed among New York dealers;
Pure milk, 6 cents; bottled milk. cents
per quart; light weight cream. 20 cents;
heavy cream. 40 cents per quart; butter,
30 cents; fresh butter, 40 cents; choice
butter so cents; gllt-edge butter; 81 per
pound; egg. 25 cents per dozen: fresh
eggs. 40 cents; fresh leshorn eggs, -
cents. x
The evening world., 1894-05-11
A Mysterious Husband.

To tn, Editor:
l am one OF your constant readers. and would
like Evening World readers opinions as to what
Is fair and right concerning a husbands duty
We have been married ten years. He earns $50
per week and allows me 3l3 per week for house
hold supplies, including clothing. rent, 8. per
week: church and school money. Now this leaves
him 81 for his own amusement. We have a
pleasant home, music and books, and dress well.
Yet he never takes the children or myself any
where. He says he cares very much for us, yet
spends his evenings away from home. usually
returning at IL to 3 In the morning and never
telling where or with whom he spends his time.
He thinks he could manage to run the house
with less than sla per week. he SAYS.
BEWILDERED
The evening world., 1894-05-11
Drug Clerks Are All Right.

To The Editor:
Although dislnterested, could not help notice
tn" relentless attack on the drug clerk made by
Regina NJ feel that must attempt to vim
dcate this uncalled-for abuse. | pride myself on
being an excellent Judge OF human nature and
although do not indulge In filtration always
nnd pleasure In an intelligent conversation. |
have always found average drug clerks a healthy.
apt plain and studious cless OF young men-not
always found in other calings Being possessed
with the knowledge Of hygiene. they, with but
little care manage to look anything but "lemon-
colored' | fear this was an attack on one In
dividual who was not charmed and proved deceit
tul Moral Think before you write, and do not
Judge class By JESSIE ].
The evening world., 1894-05-11
"OInar's Political Tnct.

Mr.. Starr Nichols. who addresstll
Mrs. Haydens drawing-room suffra,(
meeting the other day. said that WON
were natural politicians. Look at q
opposition. the anti-petition eleme 7
for instance. Isn't that thoroughly
litical? Look at the way the Assembly
Districts are being canvassed. and u
way those two petitions are being circ )
lated. Women have the very instincS
that make political success" And II
ladies clapped their gloved hands. can
fully.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
ADple Snow.

Prepare eight medium-sized tart appld
in every particular as for apple sauc
After the sauce Is quite cold-the colder
the better-break the whites of two egg,
in an earthen dish. turn the sauce owe
the whites and whip the whole with
silver fork for thirty minutes. The whit.
ness of the snow depends on the car
with which every blem.sh is remove.
when preparing the sauce. Nice 81
delicate for invalids and a delicious di,
for tea or dessert. q
The evening world., 1894-05-11
A Hypercritic Answered.

To the Editor:
Weak critics magnify trining errors They also
often imagine they errors where none exist
II l were to seriously discuss the honor that
clings to the name OF Washington for his dis
covery OF America this would be a historical mis-
take; II were to speak OF Boston the
capital and metropolis OF Connecticut, this would
be a geographical mistake; II were to say
that Sirius Ia the largest and most conspicuous
rlanet OF the solar system. this would be an
astronomical mistake; and II were to say that
mice Is rodents this would be grammatical
mistake Do you see! A mistake In history is a
historical mistake: mistake in geography is
a geographical mistake; a mistake in astronomy
Is an astronomical mistake: and, by a parity
OF reasoning, a mistake in grammar is a gram
matical mistake. STELLA, Borrklyn
The evening world., 1894-05-11

Gov. Flower vetoed twenty-one bills
yesterday. Most of them were OF no
special moment. a number OF them
never should have occupied the Legis-
lature's time. New York will not grieVe
nightly over the fate or the Ri-parti-
san Park Board bill. which was one OF
the vetoed measures. The city Will
however, gladly hail tha, Drght day
by and by. when II gets Park Board
which can obey the popular will anl the
law in the simple matter of building Il
speedway with two sidewalks.
The evening world., 1894-05-11

To the Editor: w.
Which is right to keep. the seventh da.t
Sunday II you accept the Bible your I,
guide and rule. no other day than Saturday.
seventh day. can be kept. II you are willing
acknowledge the authority OF the Catholic Chit
then Sunday is right. History proves that
Catholic Church changed the day. and in keep
It all Protestants acknowledge the power Of
Popes OF Rome. Ignored or denied. the facts
main. II willing to Learn will apply 20 70
lOO Bible House. New York City. he will rec
gratis a little book called THE Sabbath Ques,
from the Roman Catholic Standpoint. as Sta
by the Catholic Mirror" with remarks by A.
Lewis, ID. D.. that will thoroughly answer
question. A SABBATH KEEPER
The evening world., 1894-05-11
And It's Not DeImonico's, Eth
To the Editor

To the Editor:
l should like to ask why prisoner conf
in Jefferson Market. awaiting trial, has to
two cents for THE Evening World" fve {.
for the morning World and 10 cents for
Sunday edition; 10 cents for hve-cent pack
OF tobacco. three cents for a common box
matches Ave cents for a stamp and sheet
paper and envelope. two cents for one-ce
postal card 10 cents for egg and sma
slice OF bread This is only OF many ou
rageous charges made by some oficial there. tn
whole business being transacted through pris
oner, who is known as the runner" Probably
they think the above a fair charge. but surely
all fair minded people will deem 1t an outrage
A VICTIM.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
II Senators Could Understand.

II the United rsatss Senator's coglA only under
stand how the psople feel with regard 70 Their
'nacton, their in'ermsuable talk their ap?lrcr,
Indifference 10 the necessities NJ trade ami In.
tustry the country ever they would arouse ana
DO something such bindncss and deafness is
iaconprehcns bic Boston Post
The evening world., 1894-05-11

To the Editor;
VIII of your readers please advise two
girls already dIsgusted With life? Although they
love their parents, and are willing to work for
them they are unhappy. They are not content
with their lot. They think their lives are empty
and shallow. They want to have some aim In lie
something to live for. And ;hey hope to life
different life from the majority OF girls who
live and die. leaving the world better on
than It was before they entered IT,
TWO YOUNG GIRLS.
The evening world., 1894-05-11

E To fre parting shots at Croker is not
to hit a man when he is down." as an
esteemed contemporary complains. II is
simply TO give notice TO a man who has
brought corrupt boss rule 10 the greatest
completeness known In modern times that
.the reasons for his sudden retirement are
well understood. The people who care to
know do know that the late dictator OF
1Ammany Han has run away under nre.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
Wight Chung" Her views.

WF|m No ONT-Ir0 NC0|TIO
"EwAy," said tn" y0UlE author. ten
ler,y, what do You think oC my new
uoy.lc"
"RorInal1" responded Emily. with a
vote" O.! which every tone spoke cIo.
qHrntly as 10 hoy feelings, "E"g!Hald. /
htv" far too high q rrsarl for YOU now
rNcr 70 read any u your Mouks -
The evening world., 1894-05-11

Central Parks Tip was not quite
ready this morning TO follow his eight
human victims out of the world. With
an elephantlne wink Of the other eye
he spat out the ill-tasting poison which
a palatable carrot failed to conceal.
II is respectfully suggested that Tip
be taken for a walk about the various
portions OF the park upon which some
OF that 81, 000.0 900 appropriation is being
spent for Improvements. When he sees
q laborer working as IL in real earnest
he will fall dead.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
blackberry Cordial.

This homemade drink Is valuable in
hot-weather disorders OF the stomach.
Squeeze blackberries enough to make a
quart Of juice, add to 1t a pound Of loaf
sugar and let It dissolve. heating 1t
slowly. Add to II one teaspoonful of
cloves. cinnamon and nutmeg. Boil all
together twenty minutes. On removing
from the fire add a wineglass Of brandy
Put in bottles while hot and seal. Use
a teaspoonful for a glass OF iced water.
The evening world., 1894-05-11

out Of his machine He has got out In
time. But though Croker Is gone, Gro
kerism remains. and II Is permissible to
ho.l It's author before the public mind as
a political creation the Ike OF which
should not again hc possible.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
Typewriters for Wives.
To the Editor:

To the Editor:
am in the same position as Anxious" but
instead OF being in love with dressmaker. l
am in love with one OF those most fatal creatures
"A typewriter, and am desrous Of making her my
wife. VIII some OF your readers advise me II
they think typewriter would make a sood wife
for man in moderate circumstances or II she Is
too nekle to be true to any man. A, B.
The evening world., 1894-05-11
A Scotch Laddfe.

Here is a Scotch suit for little boy.
1t Is absolutely correct in every de-
tail; tn. skirt is OF a Gordon plaid, the
coat and waistcoat OF velvet. The
prince Charlie" hat has a velvet brim
and plaid band, while the shoulder scarf
Is fixed with jewelled brooch: the