Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-07-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Mans self-conceit is one thing that
he cannot hide under bushel.
weston News.
The man who works his jaw never
has time to labor at any useful ,occN-
patton. Boston Gazette.
Some women forget half they know,
especially wbos It comes to telling
their ages jesman.
Tho "a tenderness in this
oruel world, but the butcher
. rely tindsit Cleveland Plain Dealer.
1t is reported that the Yale students
are about to petition for optional
prayers and compulsory baseball
Life.
First Dear Girl-"How did you like
nv singing?" Second Dear Girl.
'Singing is not the name for it.
Halo.
1t does not make much difference
how poor q mans penmanship may be
so long as it is honored at the bank
Hartford Journal.
A-"Hello, Charlie Moustache cut
off, / see. What did you have that
done for?" B.-"Fifteen cents. -
Harvard Lampoon.
He--"Do you know, I think you
are most singular girl?" She (coyly)
--'T assure you it isn't from choice. "
New Yor' orld.
Bill--"What did they throw the
policeman down the we'll for?" JEFF
az guess they wanted to put copper
bottom on it. Detroit Free Press.
Sprinkle, sprinkle, oh, thou carts
While we soder at tho art
Which enableA vou-to make
Ofeach crossing ne small lake.
N-Buffalo Courier.
He -"Dearest Julia will you accept
my hand and my fortune?" She
"Oh, no; the first is too large, and
the second is too small. "--KladdS
adatsch
"This," said the forger, as he added
another cipher to the amount of the
check, and then carefully changed the
period into comma, sis the turning
point of my life. Life.
If women would extend one-half the
charity to each other that they accord
to men such thing as a wicked
women would be as rare as truly good
man. Milwaukee Journal.
Beaver tjocosely) ---'I wonder why
Won hard-headed Western men wear
soft hats?' Slouch--'s | wonder
why--er Eastern fellows wear hard
hats Prank Leslie's Monthly.
Muller-''You always said you
would not marry except for beauty,
vet your fiancee is not even good
looking" Schulze "The beauty is
in her bank account. "-Kladder-
adastch.
Lemon-colored hair is promised as
new fad among London beauties,
many of whom have already adopted
it, II may be classed among the lem
on aids to complexion. n.-Philadelphis
Ledger.
Girl weeping I'm so sorry you
have to go on the road again. 1t al
most breaks my heart" Drummer
"Don't cry, Fanny; I'll manage to
pick up another girl somewhere. -
Texas Siftings.
''Is Spooney's wife nice house,
keeper" "Well, l should say SO.
Why, he has to keep private detec-
tive to watch his clothes so he can tell
where to find them. She's so tidy. -
Chicago Tribune.
He 81 don't think | ever saw n
brighter face than yours, Miss Clara"
She--''Do you think SOP" He--"Yes,
indeed. Why, if you didn't say
word, people would think you awfully
clever. Brooklyn Life.
Ethel-"Why are you always COM
planning because | have other admir-
ers?" George ooh, if you wish to
make syndicate of yourself, | sup
pose 1 mustn't growl. Good even
ing Boston Home journal.
Madam, " begged the tramp. Il am
man who has seen better days"
"rhen you must be hard to suit in
the matter of weather, replied tho
woman of the house, shutting the
door in his face. Chicago Tribune.
She-"Yes, Carrie evidently thinks
Harry is superior to all mankind. She
Is forever talking about him. Sho
lands him e. tho sky. he THAT
is q say, sac sets her bean ol promise
IN the heavens Boston Transcript.
"l don't like that little moon. said
Jay g. her brother. as sha looked oa,
Of her gran nimtmmas window at the
small crescent Ia tas Mestera sky.
No, nor 1, said Jack II like tnu
ronnl o mooa We hal At home twn
weeks ago. Newport News.
"loor man exclaimed ths svmpa.
thetic woman. "dayd ynn icslig tried
O. gee employment irs m re-
pile Moanirrlu Misc. "And with
enl succref "lnlirelv fur three
sllil days i'ye trsapl lha slfeats
irying tnr gil watk far me nine Yeaf
oh brother. aHl hsint etrh Kei ~
mash os as aasaaFaii iin' Nagst fr
i Washington staf.