davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-12-01
THE MINUTE WAS UP.
But the Pedler Got Mad and Wouldn't
Sell Any Price.

But the Pedler Got Mad and Wouldn't
Sell at Any Price.
Lawyer-Don't you sec am about to
go out? If you have any business with
me you'll have to call during Office
hours.
Pedler-Isn't this one of your office
hours?
mo, sir
by the watch. Now, if there's any
thing you need in the way of pocket
combs, toothpicl<s, hairpins, cuff but
tons, l1ey-rings. pencils, pens, ink. pa
per or jewsharps, here's your chance
I call your attention to n neat little
device that's a whole box OF tools in
itself. Opened out in this style it's d
corkscrevv. Folded up again and opened
at the other end it's screvv-driver.
By pulling out this little
rangement. as you see, and ad-
justing it in this manner, it be-
comes Il pair of dividers. Restor
ing it to its original shape and
pressing a little spring right here Oh
the backbone be in a hurry; you
haven't seen half its good points yet
it resolves itself into n six-inch rule on
one side and pen1nife on the other.
Pull out this small lever and you have
a handy nut-cracker. Here on the end
is a handle for the insertion of this lit
tie file that lies snugly concealed along
| the side. BY succ essive changes this
| wonderful little implement can be
made into a matchbox, wrench, a
ginlct. Il lamp chimney cleaner, a pair
| Of tveezerS'--
'Look here, you impu-
"a perpetual calendar. cigar
holder, needle case, fountain pen and
/ a universal watch key, and all I ask
for this marvellous little animation
Isl
eff you don't get out of here PIP
| SIS sixty-five cents. but my minutes
up. I'm a man of my word. and you
couldn't buy this thing now if you
were to shove five dollar bill at me
and get down on your knees, and good
morning to you. and you can go to
Halifax and soak your dog-goned
! head IN. Y. journal.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-12-01
A Matter of Course.

A party of men were sitting around
the front of a country store. when a
drummer. who had been selling a bill
inside, came out and Joined them. One
man got up and offered him a chair.
'.Oh, no. he protested. keep it: I'll
sit here on box.
Take it," said an old fellow who had
the only other chair: hes a candidate
fer Office and is used to dom that sort
of thinr"-DetroitF Free Press.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-12-01

What's the Judge going to do now?'
asked the green juror. in whisper.
Hes going to charge the jury, said
the foreman.
Charge the jury: Charge MS? What
FORE We don't have to pay nothin for
tie privilege OF sittin' on jury, do we:?''
Liar pers Bazaar:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-12-01
Preliminary Arrangements.

Manager-Wen. have you the pro
gramnAe all fixed for Sunday nights
concert
Assistant = The programmes al.
right: but there's another row in the
company.
What are they qoarreling about
now ~
about whose turn it is to be too il,
go appear."-Puck.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-12-01

The woman was before the police
Judge for beating her husband in a
cruel manner.
You are charged; said his honor
with aggravated assault and battery.
What have you to say?
That's just it. Yer honor the pris-
oner responded promptly: ''if he hadn't
aggravated me never would have
raised my hand to him. "-Detroit Free
Press.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
GIVE THEM A CHANGE.

In the annual cutting ani slsshing
OF departmental estimates, in which
the estimates committee INDUCES it.
self about this time of year. one esti-
mate in particular calls for fond and
tender indulgence 1t is the estimate
sent in in behalf of the over, worked
guardians Of Scranton's municipal
peace.
For 10. these many years. the said
guardians have vouchsafed it unto a
much burglarized public that their
number is insufficient to cope with the
colossal iniquity of the Electric City
evil doer. At each halcyon spring
time, together with that tired feeling
has come the annual request for an
adequate force of patrolmen. And
regularly. each recurring twelve
month, this pathetic appeal has been
placed where the daisies bloom, and the
enterprising local burglar has gone on
his way in glee.
This has continued until it has be-
come time to give the police depart
ment show. 1t is not denied that they
are brave and ferrst-eyed men; but
their number is few, alas, too few,
They are but as drop in the bucket or
as glittering mica pebble in the vast
expanss of solitary desert when it
comes to giving the citizons of Scran.
tou protection in property and peace,
They need reinrorcements They re-
quire aid.
Let the estimates committee try the
experience Of an innovation. Let them
spring surprise by giving the police
force a chance.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
CHOOSE GOOD MEN

Inasmuch as affairs are already Shap-
ing for the making of legislative nomi-
nations in tho various districts of
LaCkawanna county, it is pertinent to
call attention to one or two facts that
sometimes receive scant consideration
10 distr let conventions. The commun
ity of which Scran ION is the center has
grown to be, in point of population,
wealth and Importance. tho third in
the state. 1t has interests which re-
quire the most careful and experienced
attention, not only here but at Harris
burg. Such attention is paid at the
capitol by persons representing Phila-
delphia and also Pittsburg; but in this
region the impression has been too
general that the selection Of candidates
for representative is not of particular
moment. provided the nominee has an
ordinarily harmless record.
Not only are Philadelphia and Allie
gheny members retained term after
term in legislative positions, where
they show watchful interest over the
needs of their respective communities,
thus gaining familiarity with their
work and an adroitnes3 which render
one ''city" member q match for two
doz5n raw country" recruits. but they
are additionally Reinforced by the
frequent presence Of what, for lack of
better name, may be called legisla-
tive experts, or men who know every
''in" an 'out" of the state house from
roof to cellar, and who lose little time
in putting to its final sleep any bill
calculated to hurt the business inter-
ests Of their constituents. II is we'll to
be plain in this matter. For a city OF
Scrantons magnitude. having the
varied interests that Scranton hay, we
have been upon numerous occasions
very poorly defended against the ig-
norant or msddlesome officiousness of
distant members, intent upon gaining
notoriety at the expense of the anthra-
cite region. The theory that "any-
body is good enough" to go to Harris
burg has worked us infinite harm and
can work us vastly greater harm in
the future, if it shall be much longer
adhered to.
The point of the matter. and a point
equally applicable to both parties, is
that it is time to stop permitting indi-
vidusl ambitions or mere partisan ne
cessities to hamper the efficiency of our
legislative representation. When a
member shows keen wit, ready COM
mand OF the situation, in short goo |
staying qualities, it is time he wers
kept where he can do the most good,
not only to his party but to his district
and his sseclion When he fails to show
these qualities. no matter what his
wealth, or beauty or special pull, he
should be turned down. IL the conven.
ton will not do it for him, the people
should. and in the end all parties ant
all classes will be the gamers by sucl
brisk methods. The importance o
Scranton and of the county il
general demands that men adequat
to the situation be kept in the legsla
ture; and it is decidedly more import
ant that they should be adequate thai
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
Mr.. GROW AT LANCASTER,

Mn. GROW Al lANCAS ! IER.
The voter who ID privileged to read
the complete text Of Mr.. Grows opening
speech of the spring campaign, de.
livered Thursday evening at Lancas-
ter, and very cursorily reported by the
news associations, will be impressed
with the speakers remarkable lucidity
Of thought and his equally indisput-
able sincerity OF expression. There is
no trace in it Of the enthusiast or the
demagogue Not a lins of the address
can by any jugglery of misrepresenta-
ton be wrested from its propsr place
as part OF one Of the most symmetrical,
straightforward aud effective cam.
paign utterpnces ever voiced in this
commonwealth. To those who. in re-
cent yeare, have not had evidences Of
the vigorous mind of the sagaciou1
war-speaker of the American house of
representatives,, this masterly pressnta
tion Of the Republican policy will be
most agreeable surprise None but q
mind in complete mastery of vigorous
and varied powers could have con-
ceived this speech. much less delivered
it with an eloquence that, we are told,
carried the whols vast audience by
storm"
In an adjoining column we present,
this morning, some striking excerpts
from this remarkable address, regret
ting the lack of spacs which prevents
its reproduction entire. The roundness
and force of Mr.. Grows notable talent
for epigrams is we'll shown in these
quotations, but not the strong power
of his consecutive utterancss, each
strengthening and reinforcing thu
other until the argument reaches its
completed symmetry and cumulous ef.
fectiveness. 1t may be said that there
is no new thought to be contributed at
this late day to an economic discussion
which has busted our ablest economists
| for more than threo-score years.
Whether this be true or no, the elec,
ton next month of Galusha A. Grow
as Pennsylvania 5 co ngressman. at large
will replace in the decisive forum OF
this to long prolonged debate champ
ion OF the American policy comparable
with the very best.
A copy OF this speech should be put
by county Republican committees in
the hands of every wage Garner in
Pennsylvania
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
Labor Must BE Protected.

M GrolO at Laacdstef
The most baneful of all the perniciou'
influences which lead to national decay j.
the policy that degrades or impoverishei
labor. 1t is the great fact stamped on al
pires. II articles of consumption can b,
furnished the consumer cheaply only b.
reducing the wages of the laborer VIII,
produces them to the same rate paid hi
competitors in other lands where penury
sits at their tlreside and sorrowing want
surrounds their death bed, then cheapnes.
is not desirable object. Hence, come
the necessity in tariff legislation for pro.
lection to American labor in discriminat
ing duties on foreign imports.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

WHAT IS THTs1 Collector Herring to
remove the revenue headquarters from
this city to Bloomsburg? WHAT con .
ceivabls sense is there in that? 1t
means more rent 1t means that the
business center OF northeastern Penn
sylvania will have to endure inconve-
niences. 1t means that the new Gov
ernment building will lose an import
ant tenant. Aud to Bloomsbury, too.
OF all earthly places why select this
However, Herring owns the prize. We
suppose he merely obeys natural in
stinct in wanting to take it in triumph
home,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

Mr.. GroiC at Lancaster.
The free trader objects to all attelnpts
by legislation to secure the home market
for home production, because the great
law Of trade, he claims, is to buy where
you can buy the cheapest That is true
But the consumer in all cases buys cheap
est when he pays easiest. The state oI
things which gives to the laborer the larg
est employment at the best wages enable,
him 10 pay easiest, and in that way ht
buys cheapest, no matter what the nomi
nal price OF the article may be, for without
employment he could not buy at all, and
with scant employment must buy scent
Supplying the home market by home labor
gives to home labor the largest posi- bl,
employment, and the nearer the producer
and consumer are brought together III
better for both, for each thereby saves il
the cost Of double transportation.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
FORTUNES BETTER THAN sQuAioR



IN the course of regular business indi.
vidual fortunes are made by economi2ing
the profits in the production and exchange
of the products Of labor. II that is done
by our citizens the fortunes thus accum1.
lated are expended, rs rule in the com
munites where they were made. Some in
costly living which, however, gives greater
employment to all kinds of labor Some
in munifcent charities, which will last as
long as human suffering. Some in great
public Improvements, constructing new
arteries of trade and channels Of commerce
that will last as long as the mighty rivers
they span or the granite mountains which
they scale; all contributing to the wealth,
the greatness and the glory OF coun try
A nation whose people produce only raw
materials to be sold 10 other nations or ex
changed for their more advanced aud, Goa.
sequently, costly fabrics, will always be
poor in comparative wealth.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
The Hawaiian Disgrace,

M Gf0W al Lancaster.
The American people owe it to them
selves by the love they cherish for liberty
and free institutions, by the grstitud,
should not perish from the earth to max,
this intidelity to the spirit and genius o
free institutions so odious that no servan
of the great republic will ever dare to re-
peat such an act, and so that this polio,
Of double dealing with friendly power
this recreancy to liberty and the inalena
BILE rights of mankind, fttingly charac.
terized as the policy of infamy, shall 70
ever stand in American history solitary
and alone.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
NJ Groir al Lancaster.

Nj GrOC at lancaster
The effect of protective tariffs instead
Of enhancing prices, is to reduce them IN
all cases where natural facilities exist fol-
the production Of the protected article
AS the home production OF a protected ar.
tcle increases the importation of the lik
foreign article decreases, and the price of
the protected article in our market is les
sened until the homo market is supple |
by the home article, and then the pric,
will be less than at any former period.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

COLONEL FELLOWS second appoint
ment for the place of assistant district
attorney for New York was of quite
different sort from that of Psntocost.
Hs promotes John D. Lindsay, one of
the working force of the Office for
nearly twelve years, as indictment
clerk, deputy assistant and chief as
sistant, being appointed by John Nc
Kean in 1882 retained and promoted
by Randolph B. MARITIME, Fellows in
his previous term and Nicoll. This is
just right.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

THERE will be thirty-fiye soft posi-
tions to give away in the collectorship
office; or rather, thirty three, since
Chief Deputy Ginley is to be retained,
and inasmuch as Elitor Msloy Of
Lansford. has already got his Tip"
even thirty-three chances will make an
interesting scramble for office. Good
luck to the winners. and may they have
to fight hard and long.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

THE MIDDLE in Schuylkill county
whereby on account of the new con-
trollsrship law, county auditors get
salaries without having anything to do
is an illustration of slip-shod law
making, which is unfortunately too
common in Pennsylvania legislation.
The controllership idea is an excellent
one in theory and could no doubt be
made excellent, also, in practice. But
technical kinks will .need to be
Strengthened out before the present in
novation will commend itself unrs-
ssrVedly to popular approval.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

decorated glass panels shall supsrceie
polished woodwork that destroye d
forests will remove from, the list
of possibilities; and when glass CELL
ings and glass floors will be common
features of every well-appointed Amer
icau home. It will be an age when
Yankee householders will find it ul-
safe to throw stones.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

INCIDENTALLY, Mr.. Hornblowers re-
lection will make a great many men
very mad. It makes more debts to pay,
and at this rate the settlement of ac.
counts between the two Democratic
factions will be serious affair.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

IIT' ITTVtV Ut IslNI WNTtT,
If direct tax Of 81 is levied upon per-
son, just that amount must be paid to the
collector Of taxes. But if 81 Mt the Gus tom
house is collected on the cloth Of which
that persons coat is made it is not GER
tain that he pays the dollar in the price of
his coat. In many cases, and perhaps
most. he would not pay all of it, and the
course Of trade might b5 such that he
would not pay any of it.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

A CURRENT dispatch credits the trus-
tees of DR.. Talmage's new Brooklyn
tabernacle with considering the ad'
visibility of charging strangers an ad'
mission fee Of ten cents to help lift the
church debt. 1t is to be feared such q
fee would cause many to stay at home
aud read the eloquent doctors Sunday
sermon in the two-cent Monday news
paDer
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
The Issue in q Nutshell

hf' NFON Ut lancaster
A revenue tariff gives the supplying OF
the home market wholly or in great part
to the poorest paid labor Of foreign couu-
tries. A protective tariff gives the sup
plying of the home market wholly or in
great part to home labor On the state
ment of this proposition the question in q.
voluntarily arises, how, then, can there be
anv difference Of opinion as to which
policy is best for this country
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

THERE IS something due to the cour
tesies. in the presidents official rela-
tion to the senators of his own party,
even if they are known to be personally
opposed to him, in making important
appointments in the states they repre-
sent
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
Protection Adds to National Wealth.

+"' ''O' W. LuHtuSttI'
By producing at home the commodities
which a people consume, the profits OF the
production and the profits in each am
every exchange of them in the course OF
trade is retained in the country, and tn
aggregate makes the wealth of'the nation
The country that produces for itself ha.
both the article produced and the money
paid for its production. instead ofhaving
but one of these values, us would be tn.
case in buying abroad.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

THE REJECTION Of Mr.. HoInblower ia
significant mainly for the open hostility
1t arouses between the Democratic fac.
tions. Henceforward there cannot be
even pretenss Of friandlinsss.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

that they should live on this street or
that street, train with this crowd or
that crowd, or vote this ticket or some
other,
Legislation should be business FIRST
and nolitics afterMArd.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
1t Ia a Standing Menace.
Mr. Gro,r az Lancaster

The Democratic party in power is q
standing menace to the business of the
country. Even the threat of what it pro
poses to do. having the power to do it, is
sufficient to paraly2e the business OF the
country and fill its thoroughfares with un.
employed labor.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

WITH THE defeat of Horn blower, all
of the nominations, 80 carefully Sc
lected from the list of snti-Snappers
are likely to be defeated or hung on a
peg indefinitely.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
SCRANTON, JANUARY 90, 1894,
REPUBLICAN STATE TICKE1 I
FOR CONGRESSMAN LARGE,
GALUSHA A. GROW,
OF sUSQUEHANNA.
ELECTION FEBRUARY 90
IMITATION is PRAISE.

Whenever other Journals copy features
that ce'ce concciced, il doeSat make
as angry. Bless you, are regard that as
the juciest kind Of praise. They're
copying TRIBUNE features, noc,
many Of 'em; and if they pHI Je
patient, in DIE time tCeH give 'em
more models to pattern after,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

There uiH be no rerirdt unta the ta,iG
question is settled II tUW then be q ques-
ton as to ichether the rerirGi aUiW take
place in this country or in Europe. Mr..
GrOlr at Lancaster.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

There aviN be no recirai lHtA he tariff
question IS settled. II acW hen be queS-
ton as TO tuhether the yeciral lrHL take
place in THE country or IN Europe, Nr
Gr0lr al Lancaster.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

There iUaL be no reUiral until The tariff
question is settled II wW then be ques.
ton as to lGhether the Teclrdl iuW take
place in This country or in Europe. --lh'.
GfOlu at Lancaster.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

WHO WOULD ever have supposed that
Hayseed Villas could bunco the willy
Mr.. HillY
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

WnEN MIR. CARNEGIE's papers reach
him in Egypt he will find some very
interesting and instructive reading.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

IT HAS reached such stage now that
what we are eager for is what Wills
was instructed not to do.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

PENTEcosT uAs contributed his share
Of testimony to the absolute unhtness
of his appointment.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

THE CLIMAX Of the Hawaiian comedy
was indeed reached when Lilioukalani
scelded poor Willis like tishwife.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

HILL MAY never be president, but he
can play the mischief with the presl-
dents nominations.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

The GovERSoR of New Jersey is in a
worse plight even than Grover. He
has two senates on lis hands.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

WHEN JACOB SCHAEFER goes on the
stage there is some danger OF his miss
ing his cue.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

AFTER Mr. BRECKINRIDGE shall have
settled with Miss Pollard he may be
less enthusiastic over the prospect OF
an income tax.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

ROSE CoGHLAN's righteous iniigaa-
tiou seems to have subsidsd with start,
ling rapidily.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

The SUCCESS which has attended the
second test of the Bonita plate glass ma
chine will mean great deal to the
people Of the twentieth century. 1t
clearly points to an age Of glass. when
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20
Hint to the Pennsylvania Dam oorsoy.

In any other state in the Union the
Democrats would move to make Galusha
Grows election unanimous.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

The CUCKOO will find in senatorial
courtesy its most formidable opponent
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-01-20

THERE APPEARS to be close affinity
between free trade and free soup.