Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-11-07

his dignity as 70 bang away at us In O dis pute over cards is so absurd that no per son of sense would entertain 1t for Q mo ment.
 A PAINFUL LPosITIoS.-Some two weeks since a young man who writes very funny things for the newspapers over the nom de plume of ''Blue Jay'' struck this town and THE KICKER office in search of Q job. We thoroughly enjoy a joke, and if we had paper in almost any other locality we should make . funny weekly of it. We cant do it here, because a joke doesn't 90 with our people, us we have diseoyered by sad experience. ws felt sorry for '' Hue Jay," however, and when he offered to turn us of something good for s2 we de- cided to take the chances once again and told him to go ahe d. We had to go over to Lone Tree for n couple of days and left town in such Q hurry that ws forgot all about the funny article billed to appear. In our absence our horse editor wanted to stop it, but our agricultural editor thought it a good thing and passed 1t.
 Not knowing our people, Blue Jay" feet of tho president of the vigilance com mittee for the foundation of his funny article, and when WIG got home it was to find our agricultural editor hiding in tho brush, the funny man in the lookup and six members of the committee sitting in a row in our sanctum, with faces us solemn as grindstOnes. We began to apologize at once, but 1t was no go. Half an hour later they took the funny man out of limbo and escorted him to the usual spot and then sent word to us to show up. We put in m appearance, to find our position pain full one. On the one hand there was a young man in the bloom of life and full of ambition 10 acquire literary fame and reap its financial benefits, and on the other an official of an organization necessary to our local happiness who felt that ridiculo and insult had been heaped upon him un til he could no longer hold his head up among his fellow men. While the secrc- tary of the committee kindly held n Ian tern for us we read the obnoxious article aloud. It was very funny-at least to us In fact we haven't seen n richer thing go- ing the rounds for n year past It was also funny to a Blue Jay" Standing with a moose about his neck ready to be launch ed into the unknown, he grinncd and chucklcd and laughed as we read. While he explained that he had no feeling against the president, and that nothing whatever could be set down in malice, we strength ened his case by all the arguments We could bring to bear. As n member of the committee we must stand by our fellow members, but ns an outsider We did our level best to save the young mans neck. We finally saved it. It was decided to draw him up and let him down three or four times as u great moral lesson, and this was done, and he was headed for Utah. Two or thrCc of the committee ac- companicd him for half Q mile on his way, and he was warned that If he didn't go out of the funny business and turn his talents to epitaphs and advertisements it would be much as his life was worth to remain in the territory. We have been rid ing about the country for two days past in search of our agricultural editor, but have found no trace of him. The hour of dan ger has passed, and he can safely return. Some of the committee may want to have n long and serious talk with him, but he will be permitted to live on and earn his salary of S7 per week. M. QUAD.