The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-06-21

my HIS tISdB WIFI JllC COi''' ~
whispered with great vehemence
several times that he would rather
nurse twins than care for even
moderate everyday sort of cold, to
say nothing of a genuine Lake Michi-
gan cold. 1t must be considered IN
this connection, however, that the pro-
fessor was out of temper, and that he
had never had any experience with
twins; therefore we are not bound to
accept his opinion in this respect with
out question.
The point to be borne in mind is the
fact that he was nursing the cold, and
that while he was in the act of doing
it, DR.. Squibob came to call on him. 1t
was not professional call, made
under the protection of the great seal
of a medical college at so many dollars
visit, medicines extra, but call in
duced in part by friendship and in part
by curiosity. 1t was made because the
doctor felt in a measure responsible
for the cold, and feared evil conse-
quences from the rival doctor across
the street He suspected the rival of
weakness toward hot baths and little
pills, so there was little harmless
guile mingled with the charity of his
morning call
lie felt responsible for the profess
sor's cold, because it was taken in the
course of an experiment suggested to
him by the doctor. He was always
suggesting something to the professor
in the way of an experiment, and prom
Using to help him TO carry it out, and
was always being called away to visit
some patient at the critical point in
the experiment, and this always re-
suited disastrously to the professor;
but then, he never charged the pro-
fessor anything for prescriptions The
present cold came in the course of some
studies they were jointly engaged in,
which necessitated the use of a large
refrigerator. While the professor was
inside the refrigerator mixing some
strange and new and bad-smelling
com bination of chemicals the doctor
stood on the outside noting the state
of the barometer and thermometer
and waiting the professors signal to
open the door of the refrigerator. At
a most interesting point in the pro-
cecding the doctor was called away to
attend Il woman who had become en-
tangled in telephone wire without
permission from the authorities.
This new and interesting case dis
tracted the mind of the doctor from
present business, and, after taclling
notice on the door of the refrigerator
that he would return at nine p. m,
H. l,o 81,
safely locked up. The interest per-
tanning to his bad cold would have
been entirely lost in the story of his
strange and startling death but for
the fact that Mrs. Grumble had lost
hat pin. She had been looking for the
hat pin for week and had found the
point of it in the last batch of home
made bread. She was losing sleep and
flesh under pressure of the idea that
some of the family had eaten the hat
pin and would be obliged to suffer the
horrors of vivisection before it could
be found. The head of the pin was
nearly as large as door knob, and
even Il goat would have rebelled at its
flavor: but Mrs. Grumble did not think
of this and went around distractedly
looking in every conceivable place for
the lost hat pin.
In her wanderings, she thoughtless-
ly opened the door of the refrigerator,
and the stiff and chilly form of the
professor tumbled out, upsetting her
and creating a storm of CONSERVATION
in her breast.
Lord have mercy on us!' she
screamed. Il do believe he's dead
The professor was, to all appearance,
dead. A coroner would have pro-
nOunced him dead; and Mrs. Grumble,
not knowing any more than coroner,
placed her hand to her back hair, drew
out 81 lat pin with a large knob and
no point and jabbed the end into the
professors left leg. Now, he was not
dead, but some of. his faculties were
in suspension: so, when the pin stuck
him, he kicked violently at the re-
frigerator and made an incoherent re-
mark about trimming somebody's
toe-nails," and went to sleep again.
Mrs. Grumble was greatly alarmed
at this: and not having the address of
manicure about her. she went out to
hunt up a policeman. At the end of
an hour she found the policeman; but,
by that time, she had forgotten what
she wanted. and could only think of
her trouble about the hat pin. which
she related to him, to his great and in
creasing ama2ement. He thought she
WIS crazy, and consulted his book of
rules to see what should be done in
the emergency. The result of it all
was that, by the time she returned,
the professor was groaning in bed
under the care of Mrs. Grumbles ia
vorite niece, as will be explained in
its proper place. The policeman, not
seeing his way clear to arrest anyone,
and not being instructed to do any
thing else, went away as far as the
corner of the street, where he twirled
his club for an hour and watched a
hole in the sidewalk, and thought how
easy it could be fixed if there was any
body in creation whose business it was
to fix it. DR.. Squibob being absent,
his rival was called in, presumably at
the instigation of the favorite niece.
This much is necessary to a clear un-
derstanding of the matter, and will be
read with interest by those who like