The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-10-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY

puzzle TO the uetectlVes.-Eu ucks
The most dangerous hole in mans
pocket is the one at the top.-Puck.
The elephant is not big enough to
concentrate his mind on Il peanut.
Puck.
When the shark is down in tho
mouth he must feel sick all over
Puck.
The only thing q man wants, after
he gets all the money he needs is more.
Puck.
An egotist is a man who thinks the
world thinks as well of him as he does
himself. Puck.
The man who has q tendency to
make an ass Of himself never lacks for
skill and material.
"Jason'? Why did you name your
dog that?" ''Because he is always
searching for the fleece. Life.
"See those violets. How modest
they nrer" "Modest? I guess you
never asked the price fthem. Truth.
"My son, said wise father, "never
throw away anything there is no bait
at which somo fish won't bite. New
York Sun.
Mistress s-"And pray, why do you
want to leave us, Anna?" Oook-"The
doctor has ordered my grenadier more
generous diet l"-Baseler Nnchrichten.
Daughter (weeping)-"oh, papa,
to-day enter already on my thirtieth
year." Father Calm yourself, child
it won't last long. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Peacemaker Laura, haven't you
and Irene kissed and male up yet2
Laura-''Oh, yes. That is, We kissed.
She was already made up. Chicago
Tribune.
"Why, Miss De Belle, how costumes
alter some people. l hardly knew
YOU" 'Do / look such n fright thonP"
''On tho contrary, you look most
charming.
'I can give you striking illustra-
ton of my theory" said the man who
argues. "Don't do it," replied the
capitalist, wearily, "let's arbitrate...
Washington Star.
''Do you really mean that you liko
Blinks's last book?" eyes; l enioyIt
more than any of the others" "How
could youP" 81 didn't read it,
Chicago InterOcean.
"Hello, Bilbyl Still in the patent
fire extinguisher businessY "No.
The facti is, Sipes, the building we wore
doing business in burned down. We
lost everything. Chicago Tribune.
Edith-"What makes you think that
Charley is in love with youP" Maude
--"Why, ma talked to him over half
an hour last evening, and he really
seemed to enjoy it."-BOstou Tran
script.
She-'I don't believe you think half
go much of me as Tom Dinsley does.
Ho tells me he could die for me-" He
That's nothing. / love you well
enough to live with you. Boston
Transcript.
Hausfrau TO dunning trademark
'If to morrow is bad weather / shall
be able to pay you. But if it is good
weather You need not call, as we shall
neod tho money to so to q picnic. -
Fliegende Blaetter.
Joax-"You know Bagley fell of a
car yesterday and broke his jaw His
face IS all bound up. 1 went up to
see him to-day" Hoax-"How was
he?" Joax--"His wife said he couldn't
complain. "--PhilGdelphia Record.
"There goes Cantor, Oakes.
Hes got one of the finest voices l ever
heard. Ever hear him singP He's
got fine voice" Oakes (sadlyl-
ayes nice voice. heard it about an
hour ago--he borrowed ten. Chi
cago Record.
General when bullet-proof uniforms
become common)-" What have you
learned?" Aid-"yictory will soou
perch upon our banne-, We have
filled the opemy's clothes 50 full OF
lead that they cant move another step
without undressing. - New York
Weekly.
Exceptional ability is not awarded
adequately these days" said Hicks.
"Look at that armless wonder who
rubs his eyes with his heels; he only
gets ten dollars week, while you,
who can't do that or anything like 1t,
get twenty-five u week for ordinary
work. "-Harper's Bazaar.
"Mother, ," said little girl, looking
up from her book, "what does transat'
lantic mean2" "Oh across the Allan
tic, of course. Don't bother me you
mako me forget my count. Does
trans always mean across?' 81 snP'
pose it does Ii you don't stop both
oring mo with your questions, you'll
20 10 bed" "rhen does transparent
mean cross rent?"-Tit-DiIs.