Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-04-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


woodshed. Truth.
A man who drives away customers
The cabman. Texas Siftings
The reasons of the talkative mortal
are mostly sound, Dallas News.
Revised Proverb: One mans mas
cot Is another mans hoodoo. Truth.
An egotist is a man with prepon-
derance of l in his constitution. -
Puck.
A broken engagement is, perhaps, in
other words, only drawn battle
Puck.
clearinghouse coffee is sometimes
like the quality of mercy; it is not
strained. Truth.
A woman can usually keep in the
fashionable swim if she has duck
of bonnet Puck.
If ''bread is the staff of life" t is
plain that bread nd-butter's gold
headed cane.-Puck.
First Actor-''What are you doing
now?" Second Actor-"'Me friends"
Detroit Pree Press.
Cleanliness may be next to godli-
ness but it takes lots of advertising
to make soap go.-Puck.
The times are becoming so hard that
with many swells the tally-ho has to
give way to the trolley no. Puck.
1t is humanlike trait that the
rooster always thinks he knows most
about cackling. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Business is business, unless the GUS
toner happens to be lady, in which
case it becomes strategy.-Oil City
Blizzard
Forbearance generally ceases to be
virtue about the time it begins to
yinch the party of the first part-Mil-
waukee Journal.
Every man has his opinions, but in
many instances he picked them up
where somebody else dropped tnem.- -
Galveston News.
Man has been so cruel to woman
that it is certainly remarkable that no
has never boned her for his rib
Galveston News.
If woman wants welcome when
she gets home she should leave her
husband with the baby when she goes.
-Atchison Globe.
Waiter-''De usual steak, sah?"
Regular Customer-''No, | am tired
tonight. Bring me plate of hash. -
journal
The most radical unbeliever IN
superstition is apt to find putting an
other mans name to bank check
sure sign of trouble. Buffalo Courier.
Judge-'Why did you commit
second theft after you had just been
acquitted of first charger" Prisoner
$50 that | could pay my lawyer. H.
Halo.
Bildad-"Did the editor send that
joke back to you?' Shuhite--'Yes.
Bildad--"That's funny" Shuhite--
The editor said 1T wasn't Detroit
Free Press.
"Yes, sir, money talks; that is Ger.
tain, Biggs 'Well, then, I'd like
to hear little something from that
$40 that YOU have OF mine. - Chicago
lnter-Oeean.
Professor How long should
mans legs Ice to be in proportion TO
his body?' Mr. LoWstand Long
enough to reach tho ground, sir -
Yale Record
One of the qaecr things about m-
1cnllo humanity is the fact that the
BOY who has the moasols is invariably
he ono whose society is most coveted.
Washington Star.
4 Reminder Porter Dear Herr
iaroH, would yuu he so Kind a. % put
Z down IA writing that YOU haven't
'ivau mo q tip this time, elise nay wife
slll thnk I've cone and spent H.. '-
Gsuerul- Auzciger.
hllslu aaya that wits all due respect
or tue old pr1verh, when the average
erTaut girl gets through with piece
!. valuable br,c-a. brae il ls generally
1a Ata 80 mend Buffalo Cauiar
'Haf "a aeaafImI tHIas b tbaught. sail sle
A AaHn Ii 81 tn mYaaii tnd ANm.
st aui fhIns he Is thi1tlHe of ms
AL he siis sal ihlHaa / am ihiasius 9l
hlr
keR Nafa Frees
- sae Yau don csrlN youF beaut
Al sold ksaiet cane auY mole
Nai m 81 meias mas tuuning -
'Rsss. Hhas Is that9' "rhe tlps
lmN higher BE- tha walters ~ Nea
urk ilnrt
ser hrf. asll iha slii1eH. o. D.
Ht siHsas AH#s tuau ezra cops af
HaHN ii hefa um e4ss dnt
rs s contrast aaFsIH Hf "a alate
aa8d iae eiliaf "ee Hnllf
E thst 500 had haaH saaEirl
.fHHa aHIIsrf sH haa sui
sat tuH atsf I4 aa ast narsf
#s ak hHt saftH s
aa sfaaI H#II li.a
tfaa zaaf s. 20 hsA