St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-04-29

imprinted between the shoulders OF your
lilac satin evening dress the morning after
she attended the ball of the "Blazing Cote
rie."
You will make no objections to the use of
damask napkins foriron-holders or silk muf-
flers for busting cloths. You will not say
anything or do anything that can offend, if
only by this means you can WOO sweet peace
to fold her wings in your back basement. cast
oil upon the troubled waters and avoid the
rocks and shoals on which you have made
shipwreck.
Perhaps you can you think. At all events
you will try to please this new domestic, who,
having had it out with the last lady and let
off the steam, arrives in an amiable mood,
compliments you, the master and the "chil-
DER
She tells you that she is evan to stay in a
place and not be forever gadding, she has
lived with millionares at enormous wages;
but plain as you live, she prefers to stay with
"rale" lady, and she knows one when she
"says' one. She'll put up with what you
have, little as it is, rather than change. AS
Tor Mrs. Smith, that she lived with last, she
couldn't be dragged back to her. You have
heard all this before, and at request you ex-
plain ''the way you want things; livery lady
has her own way
1t is farce. you know, for you will never
be permitted to have yours but you play it
out.
You descend the stairs twenty times to
show which way you like the spout of the tea
kettle turned, and to say which is the hot
yyafar fauoat and uhoro fha r,rid;ror should
be put, and such other items, Gin orther,
mum, to phase you for the future
We all know that Bridget's first day is al
ways trial to the soul of that bond-slave
whom she calls missus; but no matter, if she
only stays, you think. Ten to one at six of
the clock you find her sitting on chair
against the wall with her baggage on her
knee, and receive the information that she is
not satisfied and will go, and if you are
lady you will pay her fare-and again the in
telligence Office, series of first days and de-
partures. 5son
But sometimes Bridget is satisfied The
machinery begins to run smoothly; you real
ly think that you have secured a treasure:
but in some unguarded moment you forget
your caution. You give an order, utter
doors gives warning of a rising temper, and
-frightful symptom-Bndget is heard talk
ing to herself below stairs.
However, you need not do even this much.
The shoals of injured dignity always lie
ready for you to wreck yourself upon, and
they vary SO with each individual that you
have no precedent.
In recalling a long line of handmaidens
who have folded their tents like the Arabs
at the most inconvenient moment, I re-
member Bridget Donovan who drew the line
at polishing the front door bell, and having
declared that that was the sblack boys work,
ever and always" gave US piece of her
mind and departed, refusing to listen to the
plea that we had no black boy and could not
capture one on moments notice.
Bridget Cooney, on the contrary, devoted
herself to that bell. She was always on her
knees before it. so that glittered like a thing
of gold. She said that she could not sleep in
her bed if her family had a black thing on
the door, like their next neighbors, 'God
help them" But being requested to empty
small waste-paper basket, she requested
to know if we thought her an ''eyetalion'
rag-man, to attend to the scraps and
''ayings,' and departed weeping. Why she
drew the line at waste-paper basket who
Can say.
Bridget Pickles came next Despite our
remonstrances, she added to the duties of
cook and laundress, those of the odd-job man.
whom we paid all the same, since he had
been engaged to attend to such matters She
would put in coal, clean off snow in winter
and dig the garden beds in summer, though
we had an odd-job man to do it all the
same
But our neighbor kept a pig. and this
animal having escaped into our garden, Mrs
Pickles was requested to drive him out. AS
the words were uttered she dropped upon
the kitchen table with wild flood of
tears.
lis it Pat Pickles widow you are askin'
to be pig driverI" she moaned. ''Not if it
was 1ver 50, an me on me dyin' bed. Drive
the pigs yourself. I'll stay here no longer"
And after the rest went She
My dear readers, 'ladies may cry, peace,
peace, but there is no peace in the kitchen
where Bridget reigns.
She brings the tempest in her black port
manteau, the whirlwind in her paper bundle,
and it is only question of time when the
with Saint Cecilia, she would have her
''row" before she departed. She could not
live without it and she never means to try
MARY KYLE DALLAS.