Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1894-02-15
EYEYLNG EoHOEs.

"What has your congressman done in |
Washington 7" "Settled his hotel bill.
-Itldata Constitution.
Grocer-What are you grumbling |
about? Dye want tho earth Customer
Mo; not in the sugar.-Iruh.
Briggs-Wuuld you ever take Brushes
for an artist just to look at him? Diggs
Not If l could get any other.-inter-
Ocean.
Tho apprenticeship is just as easy
TO love u girl with money as to love one
so easy to get her."--TId- Bits.
us Smith really going to practice law
out in Arizona ~ ~ should think so, he
sold his library and bought half dozen
reyolvers. ~ Chicago Inter. Ocodn.
~ have invented new bicycle which
| am going to call The Brazilian
"Whym because 1t makes revolutions
so onsil Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.
In Chicago.-He-Don't you think,
dearest, that the Rev. DIR. Bromide is
the best man to marry us!h Shell
think so, dear have always had him."
D'VV"tJ" SJe'
IIe--lhat gas man is bird. She
Why do you use such slang? lie isn't
a bird, for he has neither wings nor
feathers. He-No; but he has a BILL
Detr0H Free Press.
The most absent-minded man in the
world has been found at Geneseo, N. j.
lie went to his telephone the other day
in one Of his distracted moments and
rang himself up.-Hayper's Bazar.
At the Salon--Can you tell me what
that picture represents ",fhat is Queen
Cleopatra. Have you never heard of
her?' "Never in my life. SO seldom
read the papers. ~ Intransigeant
odd you get anything from that man
you just applied TO for help?" SONY
good advice" What advice did he give
you?" said was cold, and he told
me to go to blazes. "--NetO York Press.
"But, surely" urged Barlow, "seeing
is belevingl" mot necessarily" re.
sponded Dobson; "for instance, l see
you every day, but as to believing
you" He never finished that sentence.
lid Bits.
1--WE solved the ofllce.boy problem"
said Billiner. impossible y quoth
Lythe. "But l have, though. have
hired man to do nothing but see that
the oflice-boy does his work. p Wash
tagt0n Star.
Rev. Lettus Prey-Now l must 60
down town to the temperance meeting,
my daughters, and join in the good
work OF saving young men. His
Daughters lin chorus)-Save one for
me- mana Boston Tyapeler
Diner-Look how high that waiter
carries his head. Docs he consider him
self above his station? Proprietor,
No; but his nose is above that piece of
Limburger he is carrying TO that Mil
waukee brewer over there in the corner.
Puck.
Newspaper misprints are often anus
ing. One of the funniest | have lately
seen is the reference to "Mr. Hanson,
lazy vicar and solo tenor, st. Paul's
Cathedral. That printer had obviously
never heard of a "lay" vicar.--L0ndon
Figaro.
"Started out to elevate the stage, did
he?" "He said that was his object"
well, has he met with success ?"
Cant say as to that. His company has
gone up, but I've not heard whether or
not they took the etage up with them"
kansas City journal.
Gaunt Stranger-Can you help-a-
poor-fellow to stem the tide of starva.
tionT Literary Man (hustling around)
Certainly, my poor man Here's a
copy of Atkinson on Cheap Cookery"
Take it, and may the Lord bless you"
-CleUeland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Noopop-My baby cries all night.
don't know what to do with it. Mr..
Knowitt-I tell you what l did. As
soon as our baby commenced to cry, [
used to turn onall the gas. That fooled
him. He thought it was broad daylight
and went to sleep.-LJo.
Sympathizing Friend-Tm sorry to
learn that yourmarrlage with the rich
American heiress is an unhappy one.
Is it on account Of her disposition ?
lmpecunious Foreign Prince-Yees; her
deesposeetion to handle all 20 money
herself-Chicdgo Tribune.
"What is your line of business ?"
whispered the editor to a man he was
about to introduce to northern capi-
talists. 81 hauls furniture" huskily
came the reply. Here, gentlemen, con-
tinued the editor, sis Mr.. Jones, one of
the moving spirits of our city."-AAanta
Constitution.
Colonel Brown" remarked a chappie,
'is the finest after.dinner speaker know
of" "Why," said his friend, in some
establishment, II never heard he had any
ability in that direction at ALL" "Weli,
he has; I've dined with him several
times at various places, and after dinner
he always says: That's all right, my
boy; I'll pay for it'"-Detr0h Fr6e
Press
"Aro you the proprietor of this res.
taurant?" said the man who had waited
for his order until he became sleepy.
"Yes, sir What can l do for you p
"You can give Inc some information.
want to know whether You have told
the waiter to stay away so that you can
bring in bill for lodging against me"
- Washington Star.
A Boston lady who brings her chill
dren up very carefully and never allows
them to see a newspaper found them, on
going into her nursery the other day,
singing:
Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her mother twenty whacks;
After seeing what she'd done,
She gave her father twenty-one.
An Urgent se.--Lady-"Doctor, |
wish you would call around to see nv
husband some evening when he is at
home. Do not let him kno " that | asked
you, because lie declares he is not sick;
but know he has consumption or some.
thing. He's going into decline.n Doc.
tori am nstonished, but l will call
What arc his symptoms "He hasn't
any except weakness. He used to hold
me on his lap by the hour, and now
even the baby tires him. "-Neo KorA
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