Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-05-03


HERoD's daughter was the first
woman to get head OF q man.
Florida Times.
If you praise man to his wife you
may usually notice look of surprise
on her face.-Atchison Globe.
BY and by the American Indians
will have nothing but mental reserva-
tions to stand on.-Picayune.
@YoUR face Is burning" Eyes, that
beast Gauly has Just been making
light Of me.s-Boston Gazette.
: SHE-Have you got the Heavenly
Twins?. Clerk-Yes, ma'am. One
dollar. ,SheAWhat, for both?-Hallo.
ONE OF THE GIRLs-So you are
welded TO music? He-Oh. dear, mol
/ am too much In love with it for
that Life,
| liz you desire to. see q blue blood,
hunt him up early In the morning
after he has been out ali night
Dallas News.
li4 TIE wag who spends his days trad
ing Jokes at the expense of other
people must expect some boot Gal
! weston News
a BEING asked the name of the
worlds greatest composer, smart
university young man said, @Chloro-
form.'-Siitiags
SrKs. Swell, here we are in
Another boardipg-house. We are reg
Mar Arabs Mr.. S.-"Yes: folding
Bed-ouins"~ri;:s. --ssssssss
RoRELEY-@See Old Snobsoh's Wife
In Box K putting on airs?" Snorely
I'm glad to see that she has put on
something!"--H Halo.
A PITTsBURe editor says: @Hus-
bands are not made to order" Well
bet hecan't convince most wives they
are not.-Texas Siftings.
| MAZDA horse race always ex-
cites me. Pm almost in tears at every
finish" Dan-"Why, thought you
won occasionally."-Gotha
EXPLAINED. Agnes 81 wonder
what is pulling those trolley cars?"
B'jones-"Why? Have you never
heard Of wirepulling?"-Hallo.
AMY-aJack, l hear that you are
out great deal OF nights now. "
yack-"Qh, no. I'm seldom out more
than $40. "-Pittsburg Bulletin.
JOY seldom kills a pusson, but
there are thousand Nv pussons who
are tryin' tew squeeze the life eout
Nv Joy ev'ry minute Nv th're lives. =
Boston Courier.
@MINE is indeed hard life," sigh
, ed the ossified man, with an envious
| glance at the fat woman, who seemed
to be having such a soft time of IL. =
/ Buffalo Courier.
DoMEsTIC-"Ooo! Goo! Goo! 1 saw
a ghost on the back stairs! I'm sure
I did! 1t was a woman!" Mistress
-"HOrrOrsl How was 1t dressed?"-
New York Weekly.
Mr. GUsHER "a self-satisfled bore)
Il can tell just what people are
thinking of me. Miss Pert-lndeed!
How very unpleasant 1t must be for
you!-Brooklyn Life.
MRS BRIsE lat the musicale)-"Oh,
Mrs Mutt, / had so much to say to
you, and the pianist Is through.
Mrs. Nuit-aI'm just dying to hear it,
Let's encore him. Puck.
HE-"They met at the seaside.
Then commenced an acquaintance
that would soon have ripened into
love. But" She-@But WHAT" He
l-aThey married. Vogue.
AN Irish lawyer said to witness:
@You're a, nice fellow, amt your"
Witness replied: Il am, sir; AMI II /
was not on my oath I'd say the same
of you. Oakland enquirer.
at isn't the trouble man has In
meeting his bills that gives him a
careyofn look" says philosopher.
1T is the trouble he has In lodging
them philadelphia Record.
TEACHRR-"Now, remember, that
in order, to become a proficient vocal
ist you must have patience. Miss
! F'lipkins-"Yes; and so must the
neighbors. Washington Star.
"WHY did Priscilla Waldo break
her engagement with Johnny Lake
side?" Johnny wrote rhyme for
the Taller in which he rhymed Hope
with Penelope. "-Harper's Bazaar.
IL WONDER why Jennie Barrows
broke her engagement with Bob Dali
lard?" mo wonder In that Lent
Is over, and Jennie took him only as
penance. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
"YoU say you have been in Kansas
City. Isuppose the place was built
almost wholly on bluffs" Il guess 1t
was. There seemed to be blamed
little money around. Buffalo Cour-
Ter.
Il HEAR your son has become an
actor; how Is he getting on?" @Very
we'll indeed. He began as a corpse,
and now he has already advanced to
the role of ghost "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
MRS. CALLAHAN-I want to get a
pair Of shoes for the little boy.
Shopman-French kid? Mrs. O. Qn-
dignantly)--Indade not! He's my
own son--born an bred near Tam
many Hall.-Harlem Life.
MRS. FIaa-What is the reason
never see you playing with Jimmy
Briggs any more? Tommy-He amt
got no respect for fashions He wants
to be playin' marbles in top-spinnin
time. -Iudiauapolis Journal.