davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
PLAYED WITH HIS HEELS.
Col. Lnrke, the Crimean Vetera
Struck Off n Time nm tho Orr,n

Col. Lnrlke, the Crimean Veteran
tr"ck on n Tune ON the Organ.
Col. Julian X. Larke, the well Known
journalist and veteran of the Crimeau
war, astonished his friends recently BY
performing a unique and original feat.
lie Is by birth IN Englishman, and
served CALAMITY in the crimean war,
In n of the battles he was wounded
In the spot where Achilles was vulnera.
Ole. The colonel fought at Inkermann,
sebastapol, and Balaklava.
he was promoted for bravery, and
came to the United States, where he
fought four years under the stars and
stripes. Several generals who were
shot fell in his arms. He is now a gray
haired, gray-whiskered, battle-scarred
veteran, chuck full Of "reminiscences,
and yet possessing wonderful physical
strength. As the father Of seventeen
children lie is well preserved.
be Is Il tine organist and often plays
Tor secret societies. Recently a big
society gave a swell social reception
and the colonel furnished the organ
music. After the wine had been flow
Ing steadily for an hour and the ban
quet had disappeared. a veteran anus
ed them all by walking on his hands.
The colonel was seated at the organ
trying to find the lost chord, but he
stopped the search long enough to gaze
ut the handwriting feat.
You can't beat that, colonel" some
one said in jest.
"Oh, can't I? You don't know me.
l am an athlete" he replied, modestly.
Much bandinage followed, and finally
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

She spurned his suit.
Never" she insisted.
Nor vet did hope fee his breast.
Can you not he asked, huskilJ
'learn to love me 2"
She shook her head.
And still"
He Kissed through his clencned teeth
as he made for the door.
they say never too old to learn
She started violently turned pale and
sank In u miserable heap on the door.
crushed by his cruel words.
Virtue = exclaimed the hnIz unitarian
with the red nose and cotton umbrella,
ana his voice trembled with feeling as
he spoke, us the armor Of my soul"
ssTrue-"
The man Of the world with lines Of
care al over his face unused.
but blow-holes are getting COM
moner and comInoner, In sd FAR as my
observation extends"
After that both of them thought viOs
Iently Tor 4 space Of several mlnutesL
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Too Practical.

mo, Herbert" she said in a low tone.
1T Is impossible. l fear to trust nv
future with you"
And why"
Il have watched your conduct close
ly. 1t lacks the mark Of such devotion
as my soul Graves"
DO l not come to see you four nights
in the week."
Yes. But 1 have detected a calcu::
lating seliislness in your nature, which
l fear"
But that's only common sense"
Il know it is, Herbert; and, there.
fore, it Is not love."-Washington Star.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
around to set up in the bedroom. He
nnds 1t just as conducive to repose 40
ever.-Yonkers Gazette.
scare-Tramps in the Barn Y.rs.

Doc Seltzer-"They were sayin' down
at the post-ofice yer had a lot of
tramps cnttin' an chopin wood"
Farmer Jones-"Wa-al, now, eff I
cal fool them fellers down ter the post
office with them stuffed dummies,
tramps are goin' to be mighty scarce
in this neighborhood, 1 tell yer.".-Judge
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
An Ideal Country Editor.

First Wayback Citizen-Heard the
news?
Second Wayback Citizen-Eh? More
burglaries?
mighty near it. AS tn new editor
of tn Wayback Whoop was goin' home
last night, he saw two burglars in Ike
Weightlight's store. Well, sir, that
editor JUS pitched in, shot n Of 'em,
an caught the other"
THAT so" Well, I'm glad we've got
an editor at last what makes himself
useful to the public, instead Of sittin'
around doing nothin' but writin'."-
New York Weekly.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Henry A. salzer, manager Of the John
e In i Euro pee1 LOOKING 1p rare novelties ii
vegetables and new things in the. farm
seed line. He win visit the celebrated
land. Belgium, Russia and Bohemia, M
the customers Of this wide-awake firm can
congratulate themselves pon his bringing
Seeds that these foreign countries offer.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Force Of Habit.

She was conducting a department for
q magazine; and her mind was very
much with her work. Did you not
receive my letter" lie asked.
yes"
The n asking you to be mine?'
yes"
Then" he said lercely, "why did
you rot answer it," -.
why, William!" and there were both
surprise and reproach In her voice. you
know you forgot to send stamps for re-
ply"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Darling.

Suburban Boy-Mamma asked me
what was my favorite flower, an wen
I told her golden rod" she kissed me
and said I was poetic. Wot does that
mean?
Little Girl don't know. Why do
you like the golden rod?s
Suburban Boy-'Cause it grows with
out any bother.-Good News.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Whether on pleasure bent or business, take
ON every trip a bottle Of Syrup Of Figs,
as it acts most pleasantly and effectually
on the kidneys, liver and bowels, prevent
ing fevers. headaches and other forms OF
sickness. For sale in 60c. and 81 bottles
by all leading druggists. Manufactured By
the California Fig Syrup Go. only.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

AE0 XOW "ONnB 70 1~vC1
II SO, and in what direction, or by what
ever route, ave q suficiency Of Hostetter'e
Stomach BitterS with you. Then you may
ences of q malarious climate or abrupt
transitions OF temperature, avoid dyspepsia,
and the stomachic pangs begotten OF bad
food and water, and counteractS an unex-
pectedly developed tendency to constipation,
biliousness and rheumatism.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Music Stool In CnfVeu OAK'
amiss. The Princess Victoria of Wales
does excellent work with tools. One
of her latest productions is a music
stool of oak, rather severe in its out
lines, but deliberately carved. The seat
is covered with embossed leather, the
work of her clever fingers.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Depending ON Human Nature.

Are you savin' up for the Fourth of
July" said one small boy.
Eyes. If l don't buy anything I want,
I'll have twenty-five cents"
You can't have much fireworks for
that"
mo. But I can buy enough to get
paw Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Ton ~Erotistical.

"Sir, 1 hear you using the VOID don
key very frequently in your converse
ton" !.
Eyes; your ears do not dec 1--WE you"
"Am I to understand that you apply
the word to meF'
"Why, what makes you harbor such
an unjust suspicion? Don't you know
that there are lots Of donkeys in The
world besides YOU"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
An Unreasonable Male.

An Unreasonable Male.
Sam Johnsing, a Dallas colored man,
has q mule that balks. After Sam haO
belabored the mule for an hour the
animal trotted of all right.
s:Dar," said Sam confldentially to the
mule, ''dar, yer see, ef yer would do
whats right we mout II tergedder 1ss
Ike two brudders." r.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Mrs. Potts Gained q Point.

well, why don't you say that you
wish you were a MANI" asked MI.
Potts, during the little discussion he
was having with his spouse about some
matters Of domestic management.
Because l don't wish anything Of
the Sort" she retorted. Il only wish
you were one."-Indianapolis journal.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Student-Workmg at your essay?
Roon-mate-Yes. Say! what do You
do when you can't think OF a word you
want2
Student-I ask yoa.-Good News.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
The Easiest Way.

When her eyes rested upon the manly
head bent low over her hand her heart
failed her.
mo, no." she whispered, Il cannot"
She listened till the sound of his re-
treating footsteps was lost in the dis
lance.
Il intended"-
She sank into the cushioned chair.
ITO break u engagement to night,
but
She sighed.
II guess it will be less awkward to
get a divorce"
A~bstractedly she fingered the pages
Of the book which lay upon the table.
Detroit Tribune.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

short time ago when Miss Kate Wind
schied graduated from old Heidelberg
with the title of doctor of philosophy.
She is the first woman to win such a
distinction in Germany. She Is the
daughter of a noted teacher Of law,
and after studying In several continent
tai schools studied for awhile in Eng
land. Something Owe three years ago
she began the study of philosophy at
Heidelberg, the proudest and oldest
university of the fatherland, and grad
uated O few weeks ago. r..
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
German Discipline.

German Discipline.
There was to be a grand review and
,nspection of the troops Of a German
garrison town. A corporal gave the
Following order to the soldiers:
SNOW, men, if the major asks you
how YOU like your grub, you say good
IF a colonel asks you, you must reply,
very good If the general asks you,
YOU must speak up and say, 1T could
not be better"
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Are You Going to Travels

An old boiler, which the owner claims
In the world, IL q relic at Frederick, Nc.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

the one that may suit the pale bio.
is absolutely unbecoming to the rosy
brunette, writes Isabel A. Mallon in an
attractively illustrated page entitled
''rhe Art of Dressing in White" in the
Home Journal. Dead white, which has
a gi:nt Of blue about it is seldom be-
coming to any one. 1t brings out the
imperfections Of the complexion, tends
to deaden the gloss Of the hair, and dulls
the brightness Of the eyes. The white
that touches OH the cream or coffee
shade is undoubtedly the most artistic
and best suited to the general woman.
However, in choosing it n must be
careful not to get too deep a tone, which
is apt to look not quite dainty, and to
give the impression Of a faded yellow,
rather q cream white.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

In the opera of w lkure, of Wagner,
where aerial horsemanship plays SO
prominent a part, as the Valkyries'
dash across the back CT the stage on
their fiery steeds, carrying the bodies
of the heroes slain In battle, the use
of special mechanical apparatus Is I'M
peratively necessary. The difficulty
is generally overcome in Germany and
England by the use Of a magic lantern
slide, projected on to a scene though III
the recent production in Paris q sort
of switch-back arrangement was resort
ed to with considerable success 1t Is
stated that an English engineer has
now solved the problem by construct
ing operatic horses, anatomically cor
| rect. the limbs of which, when elect1:
cally connected, initiate the motion OF
~palloping in a most realistic FASHION
| Their launches rise, their names and
tsils noat on the breeze, steam issues
from their nostrils and electric spafkl
from their eyes. It would give timer
aus tenors and nervous Yalkyries conf
dence e know that through all tbi1
storm and stress the backs of the ~
al steeds remain az steady az 3 rosk
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

"Hanson's Magic Corn Salve."
Warranted to cure or money refunded. Ask year
druggist for it. Price lb cents.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

KArl'S Glover Root Tea,
The great Blood purifier, gives freshness and cleArnees
tothe Complexion and cures Constipation. &c. ,9Oc.,e u
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Florida, California and Arizona together
have about 100000 bearing and non-bear-
ing range trees.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

1t is estimated that in Japan, out Of a
population Of 2S7,OOO,OO0 people there are
less than 10000 paupers.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

All known chemical elements are repre-
sented In sea water. They are not always
capable Of being detected by chemical an
alysis. RI
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
h TraYelin1.

Smoke stacks Of ocean steamers are much
,arges , rnan \ Is g ge ~ faay 4, su2R0g aats, ine9
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

The 132, $50 craters which have been dis
covered on the moon, are. supposed to have
been caused by q bombardment Of aerolites.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Lover (singing3 -"'Come where my
Old man-"If you're addressing my.
darter Hanna you'll find her dreamin'
down to the dance with 81 Perkings.
Come round bout half-past one. She
an 81 orter git back by that time.n
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

OIL has been used in lighthouses since
the seventeenth century.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Civilized people didn't begin to sit at the
Dining table until the time Of Charlemagne.
Previous to that they reclined at the'1
ma0la. IS
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Two respectable looking men of mid
die age were talking quite earnestly
and quite audibly in a Cold Spring car,
the other evening.
did you 60 to see her?' asked ono.
ooh, yes, certainly" replied the 9TH
or.
How do you like herr"
II think she is a perfect beauty" was
the rapturous reply. Whereat all the
passengers looked that way, and a
young woman directly opposite the
| speaker blushed, and tried to pretend
| she wasn't listening.
Eyes, 1 admire her very much" add
ed the man; II like her STYLE"
elegantly built and fitted out, isn't
| she?'
Eyes, and she's pretty fast, too"
The young woman across the aisle
| could stand it no longer. She nodded
| confusedly to the conductor, and got
off at the next crossing.
The respectable looking men didn't
notice anything, and kept right on with
| their gossip.
II wouldn't mind owning her."
II wouldn't object myself. She'll be
a paying inveStment-that Is, II she
| sails as we'll as she did to-day. Let's
| see, what's that her name is?-I've for
gotten"
1.-THE North-W West"
And the other passengers smiled
Buffalo Express.
Friendly Advice
Burglar-Don't shoot!
Householder (angrily)-Why shouldn't
I shoot? You came here to rob, and, If
necessary, to murder.
Just So" l ought to be shot, and,
as you've got the drop on me, you can
do it,; but for your own sake l advise
you not to-"
WHY not, pray?'
First the shot will call the police,
who will rush in, smash whatever head
they find up, and hat will be yours;
second, you'll be hurried off to a filthy
cell, full of disease and bedbugs, and
kept there until the day for the trial;
third, although you will be declared not
guilty, Of courss you will have to pay
the lawyers. Better let me carry of
what I've got. and sleep in peace and
comfort. I thank you for your purse"
Here take it. Burglars come cheap
er than lawyers New York Weekly.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

Aogeman's Camphor Ace with Glycerine.
The original and only genuine. Cures hApped Hands
and Face. Cold Sores. Sc. Z. q. C.srk Co, N.Haven, CT.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
r Sublime.

Wilcox lin trepidation as he sees his
guest raiding his private stock)-Be
careful Of those cigars, old fellow; they
are fifteens straight.
Gibbs (coolly taking half a dozen)-
That's all right, my boy, don't apollo
gize. I'm just as much obliged as IL
they cost a quarter.-New York World.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
silver AsDaragus Dish

than an asparagus dish. This daintiest
Of vegetables may be spoiled for the
gourmet by the way it is cooked or
served. A pretty design in silver shows
separate tureens conv eniently attached
to the dish and cradle for melted butter
or sauce, thus enabling each guest to
make his choice, and take any desired
portion.
In Old Oak and Embossed Leather.
If all women cannot drive a nail,
come can, for since the wood-carving
art was adopted by them many dis
covered it was more satisfactory to
40 the joiner work themselves, n Oft
en- even plain carpentry does not come
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Becoming and Novel.

bly, reminded of the couplet about a
foolish little bonnet with a ribbon
and a feather and a bit Of lace upon
it." The Mercury effect, so popular in
this seasons millinery, is employed in
a charming model shown Of fan straw
trimmed with orange ribbon; the straw
a renaissance scroll pattern, lying fat
on the head, two wings descending to
the coil of hair.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

IN exchange for ~ Large IAon
Heads, cut from Lion CoReo
wrappers, and q scent stamp =
pay postage. Write for list q
our other nn0 premiums. tncAu0.
Ing books, . knife. game go.
WooLsoM 8picg Co..
$50 Huron st.. TOLEDO. OHl0
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Took the Chance.

A tall man with wildness in his eye
rushed into an all-night drug store
about 3 o'clock in the other morning
and shouted at the top Of his voice:
Lend me SO cents"
The doing clerk woke up with a
start.
whats that?" he asked.
Lend me so cents"
"Who are your
Lend me so cents"
"Why should I lend you anything?
Get out of here"
do I get III"
"Get what?"
1.-THE fifty"
mo; you don't get it."
The tall man turned to go out. CAN
right" he said Practically. II didn't
suppose I would, but you can never tell
when you're going to run against a
sucker."-Buffalo Express.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

"a Halls Catarrh Cure
is taken internally. Price, 75c.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
HUMOROUS SQUIBS.
SOME LATE PRODUCTIONS OF THE
WITS.

Laughable Incidents, Humorous Say
inGs and Mirth-PrOvOkinH Anec-
dOtes-Gleanings From the Bright
Exchanges.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

The first septennial parliament began its
sittings In 1716.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Celebrating a Bisamist's sentenc

Celebrating n Bigamist's Sentence.
In the parlor of the Commercial
house, at Winchester, Ind, the other
night, occurred a scene seldom witness
ed. Three women, each the wife of
Edward McCool, celebrated the prize
of four and one-half years which he
had drawn in the Prison North. Music
and dancing were the programme of
the evening. McCocl was charged with
bigamy some months ago. He protest
ed his innocence, but when confron
by three handsome women, who each
had q lease on him, he weakened and
pleaded guilty, and was sentenced by
Judge Monks. The ladies registered
as Mrs. Mary Flanagan of Findlay,
Ohio; Cora Stewart of Columbus, Ohio;
and Vana Hiatt Of this city. They &C.
cupied the same room at the hotel and
next morling photographs were taken
in a group.-St. Louis Republic.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14

To Serve a SeasOnable Vegetable.
The woman who Is racking her brains
for a proper wedding present could
not decide upon a more suitable one
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
The Real Curative.

Dick-What makes you always tell
when you are sick; don't you have to
Toxic awful tastin' medicine?
Jimmie-Ycs( but then it's the jam
I get to take the taste out that cures
ne.
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Must Have Been TN Jersey.

"uSS navy DcSA "a SCEDSys
The New York man accustomed to
Dels and it's graces, dropped into a
restaurant in one Of the interior towns.
II say" he said to the waiter, bring
me a small hot bird and a large cold
bottle"
"Which?" asked the waiter with a
start. ~a
The order was repeated.
That's all right" responded the
| waiter as II he had been insulted; 'but
what you'll git here, more likely, is 9
lareg cold bird and asmall hot bottle"
and he brought in a hunk Of yester.
days old hen and a bottle Of beer that
had been sitting In a sunny~windoW
for a sign-New York Word
Cure for Insomn1a.
Mrs. Chatter-Your husband n look
ing so much better now, Mrs. Sharp.
Has he been cpr6d m hIs ainsomniaa
Mrsd ahsS1s yess Quite g ect-
ISs g.. u VA y es,sd.
Nh. shar - nov, may hsve
eapreh ana i bsess
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
Stylish Bonnet for n Pretty Maid.

The bonnet Of the moment is a mere
apology for the ancient head covering
Of twenty years ago. One Is irresisti-
The Bottineau pioneer. (Bottineau, N.D.) 1885-1895, 1894-07-14
ALL
with
BOT in1
tests 1
i BoaAd


BABY.
#er o!d,|
#ak. "a
FISK. 70
aeworkl
Eeesst0d
nweek
4 furnish
10 expia
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1894-03-28
My clock had stopped.
They Made Good Roads.

There is one amusing incident of A. j.
Gambrills early life when he was driving
stage in Tennessee, and which is charac-
terisiic of the man, that will bear relation.
There bad been damaging storm and
many of the roads on his stage route were
badly broken up in some places and
carried away. On one of his trips he
reached bad spot in corduroy road.
Iand his leader came to dead halt. The
stage was late and the passengers we're
anxious to get through. Jack put his
whip in the socket and calmly toak in the
situation,
"Iack . Jack !" the passengers called
impariently, "what are you going to do ?
How are we to get through p
"Hold your jaw" replied The irritated
driver, "and get out yere a couple of you
fellows. and take the leaders heads"
Jack descended from his seat aud look
ed in vain for any means to fill the
break.
Suddenly bright idea struck him.
He was loaded down with public docu
ments-a ton or more-and without more
ado he seized this freight and threw bag
after bag into the chasm until he made a
pas.able roadway, and the horses and
slage were led over safely.
"I don't know he used TO remark,
when telling of this incident, chow the
constituents of the congressman got along
without their documents, but do know
that the stuff male the best piece of road
on the corduroy for some time. They
were we'll distributed too. after awhile, for
when the water rose higher some of the
documents huated down the creek, aud
the voters who livel in the bottoms had
free reading for quite awhile. 1t wash I
dry either as such documents usually
are" Jack said with chuckle. "The
creek attended TO that. San Fsunoisco
Call.