The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-07-12

ANY American born citizen past 80 years
old can be candidate for president There
is no law against it, Doubtless that is the
reason some men are put forward as candi.
dates.
An exchange tells of man who purchased
revolver for his wife and insisted on target
practice, so that she could defend the home
in case of his absence, After the bullet had
been dug out of his leg and the COW buried
he said he guessed she'd better shoot with
an uX.
j. G. Shriver, well.known resident of
New Orleans, says: "The people of
Mississippi'river State are happy this year
because they have escaped floods and natural
calamlties. The sugar and cotton crops are
in perfect condition and were never so
large"
A lady died the other day in England,
and in her will it was found that she had
bequeathed the whole of her fortune,
amounting to over $50,0 900, to the editor of
newspaper, the perusal of which had given
her many happy hours. This excellent ex.
ample should be universally followed.
Singular accidents frequently occur in
country Office. Yesterday we went off and
left the print-shop door open On return.
ing We found one of Montrose's hens roost.
ing on top of the press. We began too
''shoo" her out but she wouldn't shoe worth
cent On the contrary she Auttered and
squawked in all directions but the right one,
knocking type galley west and raising sheol
without restriction, while we swore until
old Mount Gilcrest pulled a blanket of snow
across his face TO hide his bushes. A fiery,
untamed hen In printshop is like an old
maid at christening-worse then "bul
in china shop.-Kx.
money is like women in one respect"
said Mr.. barley to his wife
That's So, replied she. 'Its good thing
to have about the house"
That's wasn't the resemblance | had in
mind" Mr., barley went on.
81 suppose not"
mo; money is like women because money
talks
"Well money has some well known
masculine characteristic, too" retorted
Mrs. Darley. at gets tight. More than
that, it requires the same remedy as its hu-
man exemplar in that case"
"And what is that"
''The gold cure. JUDGE.
A young lawyer, just starting in his pro-
fession, hung out his sign in town where
there was only one other lawyer, an aged
Judge.
A close fisted old fellow, thinking to get
legal advice for nothing, called upon the
young man and contrived in sort of
neighborly way to get some legal questions
answered Then thanking the young man,
! he was about to leave, when the young man
asked for S. fee. The old fellow went
lntO NlOltuJ pisSlOu sWOle ne never
would pay, The young lawyer told him he
would sue him.
So the old fellow went down to see the
judge and said:
"That young scamp that's just came in
town! dropped in to make neighborly
call on him, and he charged me So for legal
advice"
"Served you right, said the judge.
But have got to pay it, judgeF'
"Of course you have.
"Well, then" said the man, 81 suppose
| must" and he started off.
"Hold on, said the judge" arn't you
going to pay me-"
"Pay you? What for?"
"For legal advice"
"What do you charger"
"Ten dollars"
The result was that the old fellow had
to pay S. to the young lawyer and $40 to
the old one-Toronto Globe.