The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-03-18

One day l went secretly to one of our
most eminent specialists for mental dis
eases. / put my case before him, and was
partly consoled and partly Mortified when
he was not in the least surprised but
said, with a good-humored laugh; well,
well, it is not so bad"
What did you say, doctor9 Not so
badl But plainly, am madl'
"Mad,' he said, very drily. "Yours Is
most interesting case of hallucination of
the optical nerves. Get away for
month
Time went on, and with it my disease.
/ still did my work, and the directors of
my bank even sent me a complimentary
letter at the close Of the year. l ate and
drank as usual, but all the same l felt
that | was sinking deeper and deeper into
the black abyss OF insanity. Sometimes
/ even felt attacks of sudden ill temper.
One day at the restaurant, a colleague,
with whom l was having a harmless
game of chess, told perfectly harmless
story in which he mentioned pair of
trousers. | got so furious at this that |
poured torrent of the most violent abuse
upon him, for which had to apologize
very humbly on the next day, as | did
not care to be shot by him or horse
whipped.
time fell always involuntarily upon their
trousers. In this way | noticed, with
great surprise, how very large was the
number of new trousers which daily
made their appearance in this vale of
tears Meanwhile l was beginning to
think of leaving my post and of finding
some work in Scotland or Central Africa
where l understood that there are no
| trousers, when one day my old friend
| Louis was announced. "Of course" l
said aloud TO myself as he entired for he
! was indeed wearing a new pair of trou-
sers, very wide at the top and tight below
/ the knees. 1t was a black and white
check. a curious garment rather loud,
| but not without an air of distinction
! His whole appearance was in harmony
with them lie wore a jacket and waist
/ coat of fine black cloth, faultless
/ linen, a large bright colored cravat, a
/ heavy gold watch chain, shiny new silk
! hat and stick with a gold head. Per
haps it was not gold, but it looked like it.
"Well, old feIlow!' he called out and
stepped with youthful energy on my
! corns. II have come to take leave ofyou
/ Thanks to the twenty shillings you gen
| erously lent to me the other day have
become a rich man, ana | intend now to
/ 60 back and live at home in the south.
am going to buy small house and live
comfortably on my income
was speeches. with establishment
He looked perfectly sane and steady
His hair and beard were fashionably ar
ranged and he gave one the impression Of
being pensioned calvary officer or a cir
Gus director who, having made his for
tune was about to retire into his native
town, there to pose as an honorable citi-
| zen
What the deuce have you been doing2 ,
I asked. Have you murdered your old
auntl Have you robbed bank| Have
1 you won on the race course2 Have you
stolen valuable papers at foreign En-
bassy2n
He shook with laughter. mo" he
said al have only traded in trousers"
Traded in trousers :" 1oared, till the
windows shook, and l sank back in my
chair
Traded in trousers" he repeated,
very calmly. "Why should not trade in
trousers Don't get excited"
Il am not excited, but l must confess
that l was rather taken back at the first
moment by the idea that YOU former
officer, should trade in trousers"
Well" he said, slightly annoyed, II