Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1894-01-05
ms CLAIM.

lsssst
I, Pssdits Ernest Il awfully frank.
Penelope-And do you love him BE-
cause he is Franks, ..-s'S
PsrdltalNo; because he Is Ernest
Truth.
h His Som Gust returned from Africa)-
I. bought a. silver mine down there,
father, for live thousand dollars.
His Father-I knew they'd swindle
you. SO yeuswete fool enough to buy
mine3
His Son-Yes; formed q company
and sold half the stock to an American
for ton thousand dollars.
H. His Father: breathing heavily)-You
i'll sss,
His, Son Crying toappear at home)-I
know you are.-tTruth. ''7-'
.,a.s.. :. A. coxPARIsoN.
Swell Of the Pertod-Ohl Doctor. I
have septfor you, certainly; but I must
confess have not the slightest faith in
modern medical science.
Doct0r-Oh! that doesn't matter in the
least. You see; . mule has no faith in.
the veterinary surgeon, and yet he cures
him all the same.-tTagliche Rund-
schau.
ROYAL coNTEMPT.
"Come hither," said Queen Liliu-
"What does your majesty desire ."
"Have you any of those mean edi-
torials printed by the United States news.
papers about met"
Eyes"
sBring them hither; I am told that
they will make my hair curl"
$50 am I, your majesty"
81 will sec that tho prophecy Is full.
filed. Twill use them for curl papers,"
l--[Washington Star.
THE APT CALLER.
Butler-There's man below to see
you, sir.
Mayberry-what did you tell hint
Butler-I told him you told me if It
was lady to say you were in, and II It
was man to say you were out.
Mayberry-What did he say thcn3
Butler-He said to tell you he was
LADY, Harvard Lampoon.
SAD MEMORIES.
s'Madam," said the tramp, stake back
yer loaf of bread. return it unbroken."
"What's the matter2"
sit brings back too many sad mem
ories. I can't tech it."
"Does it," she asked, gently, ssmake
you think of the bread your mother used
to make9'
s.No. I'm. It makes me think of when
was doin' time on the rock pile."-
Washington Star.
GLOOMY FoREBoDINas.
ssVelvet will be worn as much as ever
this winter" said the wife of o promi-,
nent New York journalist, who was read.
ing fashion journal.
Eyes, lam afraid the velvet there ia
left on the collar of my last winters
overcoat will be more worn than over
before the robins nest again." was the
pensive reply of the moulder of public
opipion.-[Texas Siftings.
he SKIPPED.
Millionairc's Daughter-Hurry, Geof-
freyl You'd better take your cue and
and skip.
Walking Gentleman = Yes; good
night. darling! I'll get out before the
old mans foot lights.-[New York
Press.
WHICH KILLS, sLowEsf.
Doctor-You can either take this
medicine in capsules or in liquid form.
Patient-Whichk kills slowest2-[Texas
siftipgs.
THE NATTER WITH IT.
Hoon-Look here, Watersl I don't
care for any more milk like that you left
yesterday morning. It was altogether
too cynical to suit my taste.
Waters (the milkman)-Cynical9 What
do you meant
Hoon-It seemed to have been pre-
maturely soured.-[Puck.
FURTHER INSTRUCTION POSTPONED.
After leading carefully up to the sub
jcct the teacher of the class in the Waits
Mission Sunday school felt confident he
had made an impression on snub-Nosed
Mike, the bootblack.
"And now, Nike" he said. adapting
his style of talk to the vocabulary Of the
class, "what sort of kids do you think
go to heayen?"
"Dead ones," answered Snub- Nosed
Mike, solemnly.
And the moral lesson ended right there.