The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1894-05-09

| THESE
questions and elect legislatures that will
| enact similar reforms. They are badly
needed. T. D.
| The Prayer of the Hard.Shell Demo
GRAFT.
Our political father, which art in Wash
ington, Grover be thy name Thy congress
come. Thy will be done in the regular
session. as it was in the extra one.
Give us this day our usual cussing
And forgive us our political sins, as we
| forgive the Republicans who have sinned
| against us. Lead us not into Temptation
| of riches, but deliver us into poverty.
Thy name is great, most gracious master,
and, like thy stomach, is growing greater,
every day.
Thou surveyest the coming storm and
| thine eye qualeth not, nor dost thy hand
| which is trained to hold the fish-poe
| tremble a little bit. Thou sittest serene
upon thy throne and ruleth thy people
with an eye single to thy pocketbook.
Thou art like a duck that spreadeth its
downy wings and swimmeth upon the CLASSY
| bosom of the lake. totally unconscious of
| the thousand fathoms beneath.
Panics come and go. but they harm not a
hair of thy head. Thou holdest out thy
hand and the golden shekels fall into it
| like drops of rain on a summers day.
Thou stretchest out thy leg, and TO- the
newspaper correspondents break their necks
| in their wild scramble to see which leg it is
| thou stretchest, that they may report it
| for their papers.
Thou takest snuff, and every mother
son of us sneezes. Thou stumpest thy toe.
and 10, we all limp.
Thou gettest on bowling drunk, and
heaven and earth are bent to keep it a
| secret
When thou sayest come, we come.
When thou sayest go, we go.
When thou sayest stop, we break short
off.
We are Democrats. 1t is the business of
a Democrat to be a Democratic do as he
is told. Whatever thou tellest us to do,
that will we do. We belong to thee We
would rather bask in thy frown, and be
patted on the back by the fellow who wants
$4,000 year, than to see wife "all
smiles tonight love-" and cur children
clothed and we'll fed.
Already, most worshipful master, the l2cal
politician has twisted his face into radiant
smile. We got two smiles and drink yes
terday, and oh, mighty Cleveland, our heart
1eaped for joy.
Most worshipful master, the Populists
sore distress us. They ply us with ques-
tions and talk about principles and plat
forms.
What do we know about principles?
What do we care about platforms?
We only know that there is one kind of
Democrat, divided into two classes. The
duty of one class is to hold Office and draw
salaries. This is patriotism.
The duty of the other class is to vote as
they are told. This is Democracy
We are expected to get our salary out of
accent wheat and 7-cent cotton. This is
business. This is all We know. This is all
we want to know.
Sticking to the party while we so ragged
and hungry both of US and our children, is
proof of our Democracy.
We glory in our faith and firmness
We will work it out this line if it
takes our lives, our farms and all we have.
We see glory enough in one campaign to
last us to another. We would rather carry
a torchlght in a Democratic procession
than to dwell in a house of plenty with our
wife and children. We would rather wear a
Democratic rooster in our hat than to be
clothed in fine raiment and take our tired
wife buggy riding.
We see now, oh, most gracious MASTER
the benefits of the gold policy. 1t has re-
moved money, 1.-The love of which is the
root of all evil from our midst.
No more can the jingle of the dangerous
stuff be heard in the land.
1t has stopped trade The fellow that was
cheating us, robhing us, can rob us no
more. We are at rock bottom.
1t has made us content with that station
of life to which it has pleased God to call
| us. We are now in a fit condition to vote
the Democratic ticket.
We don't know any better. We don't
want to know any better We were prom
ised good times We didn't get them
| That is no reason why we should forsake
| thee, most Worshipful master. Do as it
! pleaseth thee.
Lie like dog. Promise that which thou
don't intend to give. Coax us with a smile
and fire us away with kick. We will still
worship thy name. We will still prove that
we are good Democrats by voting the
ticket.
We love thee. We worship thee. We
adore thee. Take us. Take our wives
Take our children. Take our farms.
Take our manhood. Turn us out of home
with hungry wives and children, but we
will ever worship and adore thy name and
vote the Democratic ticket forever and for
ever. Amen!