Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-06-14
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed ia
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

Let Us All Laugh.
ONE must first learn to think to
stop before he can stop to think
Galveston News.
LITTLE GIRL-"You bad cat,
where's my bird?" Cat-"Oh, he's
just gone inside. Life
SOMEONE who believes that "brev-
ity is the soul Of wit" writes: "Don'tl
eat stale G cumbers. They'll w up"
It'd Bits.
PADDY's latest feat was to pawn,
his gun, prepare tory to a days shoot
ing, in order to bSy cartridges. Lon
don Truth.
THIs is the season when the man
who has been at peace all winter has
a falling out with his hammock
Atchison Globe.
No SMILE is so genuine as that of.'
the hen which, Derched on the fence,
watches the man next door making
his spring garden. onkers States-A
man.
WHEN you go in to collect bill,
the man at the counter is less apt to-
inquire about the health of your fans
lily than when you go in to pay one.
Atchison Globe.
JUDGE GUFFEY-What passed be-
tween yourself and the complainant?N
O'Brien-1 think, sor, a half-a dozen!
bricks and piece of PAWN stone.
Raymond's Monthly.
SMYTHE-Do the hard times affect,
your business? Landlady theatrical
boarding house)-Not at ALL my
boa1ders wouldn't pay anyhow
Raymond's Monthly.
FROM the barracks: Sergeant-On
account Of two short days of arrests
that fellow makes face like a zebra
whose stripes have been washed
away -Fliegende Blaetter
did you tender your resignation?"
said man to an eX-otficeholder. "L
resigned by request, sir, but there
was nothing tender about it. 1t was
tough. "-Pittsburg Chronicle.
The razor-toed shoe is the proper
thing in footwear just now. Unfor-
tunate]y, however, the prices are such
that a man is liable to get strapped
in buying a pair.-Buffalo Courier.
"WHAT is Congress talking about
now, dear?" said Mrs. Dukane to her
husband, who was reading the paper.
about all the time, love-" was the
comprehensive reply. -Pittsburg (Pa.)
Chronicle.
SHE-"1 tell you, it won't be long
till we have our rights" He-"Oh,.
you are one of those revolving women,l
are you?" "Sir-r-r!" "Er-l mean
you are in revolt, don't you see?"-
Indianapolis Journal.
Mr.. GRUMPPs- What idiotic Chings
they do print on the women's page of
this newspaper! Mrs. Grumprs-
Yes, / wish they would discharge the
fellow and put woman in charge Of
it.-New York Weekly.
Mr. CASEY (Alderman)-Phwat do
yez t'ink of these refarm clubs? OFF,
Ger Klubbum (twirling his baton)-
Well, they're lighter to handle. But
t'ink twas wrong to do away wild
der night Puck.
PARENT" Aren't you ashamed,
daughter, to be seen in such a low
dress?" Daughter-"Why. papa, you
said yourself that you wanted me to
cut down in my clothes while the
times were SO hard. Judge.
OLD woman-I am sorry to hear
little boys use such bad language.
Have you thought what becomes OF
little boys who use bad languageF
Street urchin - Yes. Dey become
hoss-car drivers. Brooklyn Life.
MANAGING EDIToR-"Where's our
foreign letter." City Editor-"I'm
Just going to send the boy up to Mrs.
Hasher's boarding house to get the,
copy" Managing Editor-"All right
Tell him to come back on the Broad
way road with it. / want it headed
BY Cable Puck.
KIRBY STONE Good heavens!
Haven't you enough ball dresses now,
without buying any more? Mrs.
Stone-Yes, my dear, for ordinary
occasions. But this is to be Hard
Times" party, and will require some
thing out Of the usual. A couple OF
hundred will do, | think.-Puck.
REMEMBEh, WlCHCSc, cAdi pay GA
claimed the attorney for the defense,
syou are on oath!" "There amt no
danger of my furgettin' it," replied
the witness. "I'm tellin' the truth
fur nothin'. when / could have made
"a by lynn fur your side of the case,
an you know it. Chicago Tribune.
MRS. CHATT-Im SO sorry you hurt
your fingers, Johnny. How was it
the cracker went off in your hand?
Little Johnny-It was all dads iault.
He was coming up the street, and ]
was going to drop it out OF the win
dow on his head, but he walked SO
slow that the thing went off before
he got underneath the window. -
Tid-Bits.