Birmingham age-herald., 1894-07-29

dollars in it. He owns several of the best oyster beds in the bay, which is proven by the fact that the pirates almost invariably dredge up all his oysters before visiting any of his neigh bors.
 However, did not come down here to study the oyster. The bay consid- cred as bathtub interested me more. had promised to teach Mrs. Fielding how to swim. We intend to go boat ing good deal; and as I am the sort of man who ties his main sheet in hard knot, it struck me she might find swimming useful accomplishment. I have theory about teaching persons how to swim, and I assured her that only few lessons would be necessary. She received the idea with enthusiasm which was slightly chilled by the fear that her new bathing dress would not wash.
 I unlocked the door of my wife's house and saw her safely inside. \ Ta>en I withdrew into my own cage. was in the act of peering through crack in the floor to discover, if possi- ble, what had become of my collar button, when the door suddenly opened and voice said
 ''Oh my! I thought it was locked"
 1 did not jump very high; first, be- cause I was fairly presentable, and second because the voice was Mrs. Fielding's.
 "If you thought it was locked" re- piled politely, why in blazes did you try to open it?"
 like to ask questions of that kind, although no woman will ever answer them. She did not attempt to do so, but simply said:
 q just wanted to tell you to be sure to wait for me. Don't go into the wa ter till Pm ready"
 "What am here for?' rejoined, in- advertently, stepping into a pail of salt water with one stockinged foot. q can't teach you to swim till you get in- to the water, can I?"
 She did not answer this question either. Instead she closed the door, remarking that I ought to have it locked.
 There was something in that sure enough, so pusEpd the bolt. but softly so that she might not detect me in the act of following one of her suggestions. 1 then leisurely removed the remainder of my attire, and put on my bathing suit.
 Having completed that operation l paused moment. It always requires tremendous struggle for me to appear publicly in bathing suit. do not care so much about exposing portion of my venerable pelt, but surely it is immodest for man so thin as I am to walk abroad with practically nothing but one layer of Jersey cloth between the public and his skeleton. However soon crushed down this prudish feel ing. I put my hand upon the door and shot back the bolt. The door did not open.
 One roof, by the way, covered con. sidera ble number of dressing rooms. My wife's, however, was not under the same roof as mine. Still ventured tc call "Maude!" in a most affectionate tone, calculated to impenetrably dis guise my real feelings from my neigh bors. I did not want any of them tc know that was the victim of such an absurd blunder. There was no reply to my appeal. did not expect any. II feemed certain, however, that she <"vsad come to my relief soon. So I waited, while the shingles over my bead curied uland gct crisp like Sara toga chips. N
 She didn't come. I ss,od it as long as could, but the nomelt came when felt compelled to cast myself upon the mercy of strangers ! lifted up my voice and announced my situation tothe various persons by whom I was surrounded. Several young persons of