The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1894-08-15
JOKES AND JOKERS.
some or THE FUN AND FuNMAkERs
or BYcoNE DAYS.

or BYcoNE DAYS.
Krom Diogenes 20 More 1Esdern HFen-Ths
Engiish Furnish Rathe . Heavy ciass Of
MISREPRESENTATION sappiy of Irish
Balls.
There Ii more real hnmor Id d mod.
ern clodhopper than In an ancient phi
losopher. The jokes that have come
down to us from Greece are mostly poor
stuff, but college boys 4 glad 70 get
amy comfort nc all from root Rrnbhing.
and therefore they lankh at Diogenes
and Ariztophaneg. II. ID naIdzthat the
old cynic begged q tub TO lire I'm and
tuEed this about whore he liked and
sQuatted under it when he pleased
When Alexander called ON him I'm this
palatial residence. he asked what he
could do for him. Get out Of my sun
light. said Diogenea That was tolera-
bly, good, but unciviL The nasty old
cub with his tub could be Duplicated by
o thousand tramps In America n day,
and many Of them are doubtless nastier
and smarter. Plato Ia said TO- have
preached fatality. When y rpgne ran
against him with q beam and excused
himself % .fated 10 do it, Eyes !"
said Plato. ~ see, but + also ana fated
to beat you for 1t, !" and gave the fellow
. good Gaming. For .sportiyeness Horac.
was the most pleasing of the ancients.
but his verses are very amatory and
some Of them more suggestive than q
French play. Charles Lamb Ii worth
20 OF him, only that Horace could be q
poet when he chose of a different sort
Horner's picture OF Thersites Ii the old
est hurlesque that I remember A joke
coming down from 1000 b G. ought to
be pretty good. Will NJ. Quad last as
long?
English joking Is generally heavy.
Here Is one told by James Payn. "a wit
ness In q Islander case swore that Miss
Lies was thrown over the wall d dozen
times. "What, " said the Judge. "Who
was Miss Hes, and why did they throw
her over?'' It was missiles. Icannot d.
anything so very funny In Sydney
Smiths wishing he could, on d certain
hot day. take of his flesh and sit in his
bones. But Hood and Charley Lamb arc
q brace that no one ought ever to be
without. ] have given mp trying 70 keep
a complete set of either. They are bor-
rowed and relished. and, / suppose, read
to pieces.
Hood was capital in every direction
he turned. whether pathos, satire, pun
or pure joking. His taking OH Of cele-
brated characters was as good as any
thing. Won should first read Boswell's
johnson" and then read Hoods
"Johnsoniana. But does anybody read
Boswell nowadays? Alas, for once fa-
NOUS boeksi Hood. says johnson, was
nee consulted by q lady % to the de-
gree OF tnrpitude and spanking due her
boy for robbing an orchard. Madam, :
said the ~ponderous doctor, tsit all hangs
on the weightaof the boy. Remember
my school fellow, Davy Garrick. who
vas q little fellow, rObbing d dozen or
chaEds with impunity, hnt theyszy first
time I climbed an apple tres for WINS
always solid. the bongh broke and ~
was called q Judgment ON me snip
pose that ii why justice ID represented
with q pair f scales.
Sheridan was the best .of jokera. buE
half that Is attributed 10 him Ia taoatine
win that needed b father. It iaprchably
true that be asked his rnistarina Int
Mghborn crew one night whether they
should drink like beasts or like men
Some one said, ssMen.1of course. = nOh,
then, = cried Sheridan, well get wv
ful drunk, for beasts only drink what
they need.
Irish wit lie famous the world over.
Part OF it consists In the brogue, but 10
is r that an Irishman has not sur-
prises of speech. in which consists the
wit Of the highest order. lie Fam, in
his Seventy Years Of Irish Life. 4 has
collected q great deal that is delici0nsl
A witness that was. badgered by q law
yer was asked. You're D nice fellow,
amt your" Witness answered.
- am. sir. and If I were not ON oath.
sir, I'd say the same Of you." Another
witness was asked by q bullying coun-
gel. $50 you had q pistol?'s II had.
sir. " who did you intend to shoot2s'
II want intendin to shoot no enc. z
$50 you got Ii for nothing?'' 'sN0 r
didn't Come, comet On your oath.
what did ron get that pistol for?'' ssFor
three and ninepence. sir. I'M Mr.. Rich
shop
The Irish bull is often better than
any deliberate wit. Sir Richard Steele
insisted these bulls were owing to the
air Of the ecuntry, and, sir. he add
ed. ssif an Englishnan wa born here,
r don't doubt Nod do the same. ,.s. In d
debate IN taxation an Irish member or
parliament insisted that IN Tax ON leatf-
* would press heavily, ON the barefoot
"a peasantry, . Sir Boyle Roche replied
they could .rnake the under leatlers cf
yvood The same Sir HoyleSurged fhe
union or England and Ireland, nj that
the barren hills would become fertile
valleys. I'm another debate he answer
cd, II boldly answer I'M the affirmative
-Noi'ls1H He was anthor Of You should
refrain frpzn throwing open the fi60d-
gates of democracy. lest ron ahonld
pave. The way for q general confla@xar
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