Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-06-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

What is life but great cake-walk.-
Galveston News.
When man is the slave of gold, he
is serving pretty hard master.
When genius attains to dress-suit
it has become celebrity. Puck.
Some clocks strike ten when it is
only six. 1t is the same way with
many men.
Business" covers multitude of
transactions just out of reach of the
law. Puck.
A woman is never so likely to be
mistaken as when she is perfectly sure
she is right.
The angler is SO absorbed in his
hobby that he generally fishes with
baited breath.
Good cooks can make pie of every
thing, from beefsteak to vinegar
Atchison Globe.
Hannibal succeeded in crossing the
Alps; but he didn't have any hotel
bills to pay.--Puck.
A good resolution is supposed to be
one that will stretch a little when
necessary. Galveston News.
''You say he is q bad egg. How did
you find it out?" "He showed it the
moment he was broke. Fun.
1t is is easy for man to paddle his
own canoe when his parents buy the
canoe and paddle for him. Puck.
When haarfs nre hrokan no WE find
They are by wooers rash,
To heal them over, neatly bind
In poltices of cash.
Washington Star.
When the pot calls the kettle black,
the kettle fearlessly demands an in
vestigation of the color of the pot
Puck.
1t is better to walk and catch the
next ferry-boat than to run for dear
life and miss the one that is just start
ing. Puck.
Hardup is a pretty decent sort of
chap, but he never sticks to anything"
'Did you ever lend him any money!"
philadelphia Record.
The star of hope may shine over
head, but we feel more security when
we can get her anchor planted safely
in the mud below.-Puck.
Johnny" said the teacher, ''is
iackass biped or a quadruped?"
'Please, sir, said Johnny, that de-
pends on the jackass. Life.
Lena-"She would be better off
without her husband, wouldn't she?"
Laura al should say $50. His life is
insured for $40, 600. Truth.
When man begins to remark how
different children are now from what
they were when he was boy, he may
look for gray hairs in his head. Puck.
Little drops of water.
Little grains Of soap
Make the active Anarchist.
Get right up and slope.
Washington Star.
Hotel Proprietor don't allow
any games of chance here. Gamb-
ler-"This isn't game of chance. My
friend here has no chance. Brook
lyn Life.
Clara -"What, are you reading,
now?" Historical novels.
"Do you like them?" Eyes, indeed.
There is so much can skip. New
York Weekly.
"Where is the bearded lady" asked
the manager. 1T is time for the show
to begin" "He went out to vote,"
explained the ossitied man. Indians
lis journal.
The Specialized Girl--''lIave you
read Ships That Pass in the Night 2"
The Auburn haired Girl-"No. What
kind are they eourtships ?'-lndian-
apolis Journal.
First Lady-"And the last thing
that Henry did was to give me II kiss. =
Second Lady-''lndeed; | should
think that is about the last thing he
would do ~ Td-Bits.
"Miss Twilkins has gone to Europe
to cultivate her voice, ''DeaF me
didn't know she could Afford it.
"The neighbors subscribed tho
money. - Washington slar.
Patient III am troubled with in
somnia. What would you recoAmoidf'
Doctor "A good, refreshing slcep
seven nights ia the week. Five dol
lart. please - Boston Transcript
Haven't you made Mr. HnlserB
portrait a good deal more than life
size sail une artist - another.
perhaps. Nau see, tAat's as big a.
he thlnks he is Washington Star.
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waulan pai up with her w9fs asse |
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yes What liA ,he sof "she
said that iAera was uathine kpepias
ms here Il liint iike gla phase
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