The record-union., 1894-02-13
there is neither reason nor demand of any
moment for division Of California.
NOT DOWN TO THAT.
An Incident That Points Moral and
AdornS q Tale.

An Incident That Points a Moral and
Adorns a Tale.
An amusing incident early Monday
morning in this city points moral and
adorns tale. At the best it is not possi-
bic to describe the scene so as to give an
adequate idea Of the exquisite humor of
the affair; nevertheless it is too worthy
of some record to be allowed to pass into
oblivion.
A number of gentlemen whose voca-
tions require them to keep late hours,
and others whose tastes forbid them go
ing home until the other places are shut
up, happened to be gathered in a saloon
OF the better order on principal busl-
ness street.
There came, in the small hours of the
night, a group of newspaper men, who
sought company from among the late
"stayers" on their venture into the more
retired and too often "stand-and-deliver"
portions of the city where their homes
are.
Just as the members of the party were
buttoning their ulsters about their throats
preparatory TO facing the keen blast out
side, there rolled in through the swing
doors an individual considerably more
than half-seas over, a man neither old
nor young, ami over whose beery counte-
nance their played the half-smile Of
drunken humor and consciousness oflOW
condition.
The crowd made way for the seedy and
chilled character, who pulled himself
well together, and after several adrOlt
tacks made the port of his desire and an
chored at the bar, where he produced the
last seed Of dilapidated purse and de-
manded ''nightcap." There was the
Il l., tl,,+ al, tod
REFUSAL but hoped-for acQuiesence.
The server OF liquid overcoats for chilly
nights gently but firmly declined to set
out that which steals away the brains.
'Whafor? Here's 'e money!
''Weu, you've got enough"
- 'Zactly so: but, y'see, l want morn
nufp
The expression of his countenance at
this point was a combination of sincere
anxiety, and a keen sense of the irrefuta-
bic logic OF wit. 1t had the effect upon
the company much as if coal had been
applied to a cartridge-there was an eX
plosion OF laughter, in which the drunk
did no more than to half reel an inebri-
ated Acknowledgements, being quite too
discreet TO laugh at his own wit
The proprietor Of the saloon at this
turned to a young business man present,
remarking:
Here's the proprietor of the place
whatever he says goes. Talk to him.
The young man took in the situation
and with a knowing wink advanced to
the side of the hummer, whose knees
were rafting like castinets and whose
need OF something warming was clearly
evident, If his physical discomfort was to
be taken as evidence.
Say. old boy, you don't want any
more; you're full now."
well, I'd like to keep full, yer see;
here's me money"
"Oh. but say we can't take such con-
tract as that, you know"
well, 'sallright, gemmene 'Sallright,
but guess you won't kick agin sellin'
me seegar, ehY'
ooh, well, as for that, you keep your
money; here's something that's better,
and Pll give you one"
The bum Strengthened up and the light
OF anticipation illumined his rubicund
features as he wheeled about with a half
gesture of tEankfulness and prepared to
accept what was offered.
Thereupon the young man went down
into the depths beneath his overcoat and
pulled out tiny paper case, carefully
opened the top and extracted long and
carefully rolled cigarette and offered it,
II loaded pistol had been pushed
under the nose of the drunkard, with
demand Of 'hands up" he could not
have manifested greater surprise. He
partly wheeled in retreat, staggered to-
ward the door, then paused, with one
hand grasping convenient support, and
drawing himself up and extending his
shaking arm with q gesture decisive and
repellant, while inetfable Ioathing and
scorn were expressed by his countenance
he replied, in measured tones, but with q
satirical emphasis impossible TO describe:
'"Scuse me, sir, Pm white man ~
'Oh, take it, you're welcome"
''No, stree! Pm pretty drunk, and you
want to drive the last nail in my coffin
'scuse mep' and he made for the door
with stride ana roll that betokened a
loathing impossible to adequately de-
scribe. The hummer, who had still
enough self-respect left to refuse cigar
cite, vanished, leaving the spectators
doubled up and roaring with laughter
and the cigarette smoker struck dumb.