The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-10-19

While to these remarks ALL gave re-
spectful attention, the corn, who had
been listening with all its ears, stalked
along in dignified rows, and really
presented fine appearance waving
it's silky hair, and one who seemed
to be leader, in a voice husky with
emotion, said: "Many of us boast
descent from King Phillip, yet most
of us claim only Indian origin. L
should be amazed if we don't secure
premiums. We are better drilled than
most of you. And while by us men
are warned not to get corned, for we
not only grow in rows but we grow
on toes-at this poetic effuSion the
popcorn went off into explosions OF
laughter almost having Mysteries, IN
which most of the vegetables Joined,
and the confusion was so great that
Billy could not hear the rest of the
remarks of the corn; but in solid COM
| fort he looked at his own brown,
| bare toes and thought, that corn
don't hit me-" The sunflower prompt
ly called the popcorn to order ana
there was the most respectful atteH-
| ton, when a representative Eariy
York cabbage said: I'VE Doast Oh
royal lineage. We are of the famous
| mousse Oh 1OIh, anu IL SNhe'Aies tAAN
blue blood count for anything, we
are certainly entitled to premiums.
| Why" continued he with such an
effort that his veins stood out all over
his face, "there are cabbages with
such blue blood that-that-' "well,
don't get so excited that you burst,
said voice from somewhere, just
where Billy could not tell. but he
firmly believes to this day that it was
the little, fat Dutch fairy Jemimy
Kraut who spoke, but Billy won't
say sure as to this. 1t seemed to
come from the winter cabbages. AT
this iuncture, o children! what do
YOU think happened? Those poor, fool
ish Early York cabbages' heads
actually bursted wide open, and there
were no brains in them either! Billy
got a never-to- be forgotten lesson
| from this. 1t is an awful thing to
boast. But even this incident, dread
full as it was, did not put a stop to
| the proceedings. Soon a tall, seedy
looking representative of the onion
had the floor, Tor ground l suppose
I should have said.) He told them
that onions were humble, meek and
llowly in appearance, but in appear
ance only. Yet, that they boasted OF
great antiquity, having originally
come from India. Said he, I'VE are
of that great Leek family of which
the Bible makes often and honorable
mention. The Egyptians worshipped
us, and I've no doubt whatever that
we were used as part of the incense
offered to their gods, and are prob
ably the herb of sweet smelling sa-
vor' of which sacred writer's speak
| c,,II, a n
fume we are not the present fad,
but 1 think we are entitled to much
honor, and we are strong in our way
AS he ceased speaking Billy noticed
a set expression on many of the on
ions. From the eyes of all the old
maid raddishes and many other veg.
etables the remarks of the onion drew
tears as they looked at him, and they
nudged leach other and said with
great emotion, "Did you ever?
Billy did not feel surprised at this
outburst of tears. for he could no,
even ever so politely assist an onion
to take off his overcoat without weep
ing. AS the onion referred to the an
cient Egyptians the peas and beans
fairly ratified in their pods, and the
Ipeas said: 1--WE came from the south
of Europe ages ago, and have always
been considered a wonderfully whole
some vegetable" $50 you are" re
piled the beans, "but just please re
member how a noted Greek philOso
pher regarded us, even as the soul
food for man." "Well," said the spin
ach, 'you will also remember thai
the Egyptians and another equally as
great Greek philosopher despised and
condemned you," and the spinach
spun long yarn of how it was OF
greater antiquity, and also of Persian
origin. 'Hum! that's nothing" said
d clover who had somehow gotten into
the garden. 81 was endorsed by the
Howly Saint Patrick himself! and
used by him to explain the trinity to
his followers" Eyes, but" said the
sage, who was exceedingly wise
There is no good luck about you un
less you have four leaves, and you
seldom do" The sage, who had trav
eled from the north of Europe, seemed
to make quite an impression. Here
the gooseberry bush, who was quite
surly and seemed to want to scratch
everybody's eyes out, declared that as
he came from the greatest of modern
nations, Hold Hingland, he was en-
titled to great honor, but he only sue
ceeQeu III making goose OF nlInSel1
and was fined for giving expression
to mouldy sentiments. At this the
black caps, native Americans, DOTTED
their black caps in glee, and the black
berries laughed until they were black
in the face, while little bush in the
corner with great complacency re-
marked: "Well, 1 am current every
where" The asparagus sympathized
with the gooseberry bush, as it's ma
tive country was also England, and il
told how it had originally adorned the
wild seacoast region, and waved its
handsome green plumes to the music
of the waves long before the Roman
conquest, and it put on a lot of airs
and acted just like it had originally
known, "what the wild waves were
saying" but 10! it didn't know any
more about it than the others did
Suddenly tall, lank plant who had
the air of being on his own native
heath, and who resembled Uncle
Sam somewhat. Remarked: "All the
garden truck that came over from
England has got to be subdued some
how" Eyes, Mr.. Tobacco Plant, you
are a pretty fellow to talk of subduing
anybody; you ought never to be allowed
in decent society, and l propose to