The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1894-07-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUM0R OF THE DAY.
A sure thing-Your feminine oppo'
nent.,
The counterfeiter never takes more
than passing interest in his bust
ness.
"The stuffoi which heroes are made"
Wood pulp and printers ink
Puck.
When girl counts on her fingers.
she invariably counts most on the en-
gagement finger.
When competition among surgeons
is not usually strong, they nearly all
have cut prices. Truth.
The man with only one idea is much
more dangerous than the man without
any ideas at all. Dallas News.
"The Colonel is Il very reserved
man. " eyes. Always was-all through
the war. cleveland Plain Dealer.
A good name will give you the use
of other mems riches But its riskiel
to be an indorser than capitalist
Puck.
Pessimist- Revenge is sweet"
Philosopher Maybe; but it leaves a
bad taste in your mouth. New York.
Journal.
Priscilla--'Don'ty you wish you were
| old Van Billions wife," Prunella-
"No; but wish 1 was his widow. -
New York Herald.
If a woman wants welcome wheL
she gets home she should leave her
husband with the baby when she goes
-Atchison Globe.
When boy washes his face without
being told, his mother thinks that
there is something the matter witt
him. -Pittsburg Dispatch.
We all admit that marriage is lott
terry, but we are, also, convinced that
we know the lucky combination
Kate Fields Washington.
A petrifed woman has been found
in Illinois. 1t is suspected that her
husband paid dressmaker's bill with
out kicking. Buffalo Express.
They say that time is money, yet
'Twould be JOY most strange
If we could take five minutes out
And get So change.
american Industries.
"What did Mangie receive THAI
medal for that he now wears?" "Ht
has run over more people than any
man in our bicycle club. Chicago
ter-Ocean.
Edith--'I thought you and Mabel
were fast friends" Nellie-"We USED
to be" "And you are not now?"
"No." "What was his name?"-NeW
York Weekly.
"There Is one thing can be said o.
Brownie always attends to his OVID
business. eyes, sir; that's why his
last employer discharged him. "-Chi'
cago Inter-Ocean.
Teacher of Decorum-"Now jim
my, why is it that man speaks of his
wife as his better half?' Jimmy
9 "Mebbe, It's cos she costs tn most!'
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'You should see Cholly in his new
spring suit. He is out Of sight. "
''Then he illustrates proverb. "
, "What proverb?" "Out of sight, out
Of mind. New York Press.
I All up and down the whole creation,
, Everywhere we roam,
= The Whit Of paint and soapsuds makes
l Every place like home.
Q Chicago Inter-0oeaI
Amiabla Visitor-'And this is tn,
baby, is it? Why, it's the very image
of its father" Cynical Uncle-"Well,
( it needn't mind that as long as it has
7 good health. Chicago Tribune.
''Thats the kind of weather profit
for me, mentally observed the mer-
chant, calmly charginga customer IS
5 for So umbrella one rainy morning q
D day or two ago. Buffalo Courier.
Teacher-"The Prince was born
when the battle of Leipzig took place,
Now, who can tell me the date of his
birth?" Pupil--"The 18th, 18th and
e 18th of October. Fliegende Blaet
I ter.
I Hazel-'Do you know, papa never
knows when Tom goes home. The
&c clock is always stopped when he calls. .
Ethel-"Dear me Is he homely
i enough for that?'-Chicago Inter
Ocean.
|. "My dear young woman, it is vel
II known that intellectual women are no
II good-looking. "And how would yor
J. classify me?" "Why, you are not a
I. allintellectual "Oh, you datterer =
DC -Fliegenle Blaetter.
le Editor-'I regret, Mr.. Barnstorm