Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-05-17
PlIH AND POINT.

:
Weary Waggles .Why don't yon
cit DOWN." Dreary Draggles-'So
don't have to get up. Halo.
Few things are impracticable i'm
themselves. and it is for want of APP
plication, rather than Of means. that
men fail of snccess -Rochefoucauid.
1T was pretty stormy last night"
Eyes; and as was late In getting
home and my wife was waiting up for
me found it stormier inside than
out. New York Press.
--Wisdom-
There wss woman In our town.
And she was wondrous wise;
She cut her cloth to make her gown
Exceed the sleeves in size.
-Harper's Bazaar.
-Buggins-"Did Wilwag swear when
his wife played the two-spot instead of
taking the trick?" Muggins-''No; he
simply told her she was playing the
deuce. -Philadelphia Record.
Whatever became of that grey
hound you had?" KILLED himself"
"Really?" Eyes; tried to catch fly
on the small of his back and miscalcu-
lated. Bit himself in two. Bits
-"Been vaccinated yet?" mo-"
| said the athletic girl. eve not.
can't quite make up my mind whether
to give up my Indian clubs or my biz
| cycle for awhile. "-Indianapolis Jour.
| nal
| THAT'S the kind Of weather profit
for me" mentally observed the mer-
chant, calmly charging customer Eve
dollars for two-dollar umbrella one
rainy morning q day or two ago-Buf-
| falo Courier.
Mike ION the road)-"How fur is Il.
to Chistnut Hill, sir?" Native--"About
five miles. Whom do you want to see
there?" Mike-''Faith, I'm anxious to
see meser there befoor night"-Phila-
delphia Record.
kept Him Away.-Bingo-"Ho
did my wife look at the reception yes
terday?" Witherly-"Elegantly. Why
| weren't you there?" Bingo-"Didn't
have any decent clothes to wear."-De-
troit Free Press
DIR. Thirdly-.'I am glad to hear.
my son. that you refused to fight will
lie Shipper" Johnny-"Yes, sir. it's
wicked to fight, and then Willie's IA
ther is tailor. and besides he's bigger
than Iam."-Kate Fields Washington.
Loving Mother-sI can not under
stand what makes our boy, Robert, 90
fond Of pedestrianism." Fond Father
HE gets that from me. Didn't walk
the floor with him for week when he
was a baby?"-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
-Mother-.Walter, see that you
give Beatrice the lions share Of that
banana" Walter eyes, mamma"
Beatrice Mamma. Walter hasn't
given me any" Walter-Well, that's
all right. Lions don't eat bananaA"-
Brooklyn Life.
-Compliance-"Speakv' She heard
him plead, yet hesitated. "Speak!" he
persisted. She bestowed upon him
searching glance. "Speak. pray you'll"
Every we'll" Clearing her throat, she
reclted with great fire: "Curfew shall
Not Ring Tonight. Detroit Tribune.
Little Dot-.'Mamma. was play
in with your best tea-set while you
were away, an when you bring it out
you'll think one Of the cups has hair
| in it; but it isn't hair" Mamma
"What is it?'' Little Dot-"It's only q
crack. Harlem Life.
| Uncle Silas-s.It's queer how some
| IcIleIS RcIS on. MaTCny- Wnbtt
happened now?" Uncle Silas-sWhy,
that old fool Tompkins is maxim .
great stir down in town. Only been
there two days an the paper says the
green-goods men gave him q glorious
reception. -Harper's Weekly.
--Hicks-"They tell me that Russell
is making quite a smark as journal
ist." Wicks-"He1 is, indeed. But
then he has such q wonderful memory.
Why. let imam talk to him for two
minutes and Russell will remember
! enough Of what the man said to fill .
column. Boston Transcript