The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1894-05-04
MuTINY soup1cHEp.

crack and the seabreeze blows on his
tympanum. That was what happened
to Parasite Eli at the break Of day at
the Anglo American cannery He was
found wrestling with a superb geological
that the Smithsonian Insti-
tuition would give millions for. The
cream of the outfit was a brilliant red
with tail like feather dust
er. When Els companions turned him
over SO that his face pointed more 10
the zenith he gradually recovered and
the menagerie disappeared
When the rain drops came
At daybreak in his battered tent,
Willie was dreaming of the hour
When he could have where'er he went
A mug of beer or whisky sour.
The patter of the rain disturbed him
just as he was accommodating a great
and glorious thirst. The first few drops
that dripped through upon his face
made him blink his eyes. He sat up,
touched his finger to the moisture, and
applied it to his tongue. Water" he
roared in disgust. Move the army to
the starting dock"
BY o'clock the camp was all astir
ordered to report at headquarters. At
this juncture fight broke out. Thirsty
Willies cayuse had been tied to a test
ing tank In the aforesaid testing tank
peacefully slumbered Calamity Jim, the
six-fingered brakeman of the Astoria
and Portland limited freight He was
stretched upon his back, with fine
stand of seal-brown, willamette whis-
kers pointing towards Tongue Point. In
the darkness the cayuse had mistaken
this output for baled hay and had
browsed freely thereon. The result was
that most of the whiskers on one side
of his face had disappeared.
When Jim sat up and rubbed his eyes
Shrek Of laughter went up from his
comrades in arms.
"Wot's eatin' yer?" he grunted.
"Wot's the matter wild your bridal
vail?" said Hungry Hank in return.
Jim felt for his whiskers and with a
cry of anguish bounded over the kettle
and at Hungry Hanks throat. Over the
two went, rolling in under the splitting
table, clasped in each others embrace
scratching and biting like all get out.
Thirsty Willie heard the disturbance
and stalked to an empty salmon case
placing his broad fin to his eye as If to
shield the glare of the morning sun, he
roared:
What, no! me legions"
Anaconda Pete, the sergeant, rushed
up with barrel stave at present arms,
and sang out, AYE, aye, sir; leegins is
present"
"Wot mutiny in de camp? Bring
desc skates to me tent and have 'em
shot for breakfast"
"Dey was half shot for supper" sug-
gested the sergeant
"Mashts nicht aus" thundered the
leader. IF any bloSes is looking for a
scrap I'll give 'em game. De keys to
both the graveyards are a hanging to
me vest See"
The rioters were brought in and
pinched down to three beers a day for
the rest of the week. They begged pite-
ously for a respite, but the leader was
deaf to their entreaties.
The encampment was christened
Camp Half-and- Half last night. and
the opening ode for the day was:
A little book beer at this time of year
Is likely to knock man blind.
But when he awakes, how his appetite
quakes,
Tor the lunch that he left behind.
This was sung loudly and Justify to
the tune, THE Girl 1 Left Behind" and
the official poet, Woodside Wayne, was
ordered to have new chorus each
morning.
The army expects to move Saturday
or Sunday morning.
Contributions are coming in fast
Thirsty Willie received a check for S21,-
600 from Cornelius Vanderbilt on the
uOWH pOettt uON ~ was wv idtV W NeSh
It in yesterday. No doubt Mr. Gordon,
OF the First National bank, will pay it
this morning on presentation, without
telegraphing as to whether it is good
or not, Also the following was re-
ceived:
Philadelphia, May S.-Parched Will
lam: Should you visit our city, would
be pleased to show you our bargain
counter. We have job lot Of cigars
that have never been smoked, and other
supplies you will need.
(Signed JOHN WANAMAKER.
The checks, drafts and other evil
dences OF goodwill received yesterday
filled a good-sizen basket, and the gem
eral said that II this kept up he would
have to advertise FOR a typewriter-oneI
with yellow hair and blue eyes pre-
ferred,
All reporters have now been excluded
from the camp. but it has leaked out
that before the army starts it will make
n secret midnight raid on the North
Pacific Brewery, claiming there is mol
beer in Portland equal to the North Pa
cific's brew. and they want the best
Wen see what Wen see.