Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1894-01-11
AETER A COMBINATION.
Plenty OF Files About But None on the Old
Man.

iicnIy OF Elieb ABOUT i1ut NoHc ou tho Oiu
Man.
His back was bumped up, his knees
badly sprung, and there was squeak
in his voice as he fondly smoothed
down his long goatee and inquired;
stranger, could you tell that I'd
jest paid fifty cents to hev these whis-
kers dyed. Just stand off and squint
at EN-, an gimme an honest answer"
"Yes, could tell that they had been
dyed" l replied.
$50 could |, but that's all right. Got
my ha'r dyed at the same time. How
old would you take me to be?"
"Well, about fifty,
"That was my objeclS-to deceive the
public in gineral and the Widder Spicer
in perticlSler. Pm seventy-two years
old"
"You have an object then?" asked.
81 hev. I'm goin' to git married" "
"No!'
'That is, if the widder fills the bill.
Pm goin' down to Sl1innersville to-day
to see her. If she fills the bill, she's
my jaybird to love and cherish; if she
don't, she's somebody elses jaybird.
What dye think of an old chap of sew
enty-two shin'in up to widder of
twenty-eight, "
Such matches generally bring trou-
ble."
Eyes, s'pose they do and the old
chaps are ginerally to blame fur it. |
left all the children cryin' around, and
the last thing my oldest gal said was
that I'd be finanshully wrecked in
three months All of 'em fgger that
the widder is after my money and
that she'll make the dollars fly like
feathers"
"But you don't think SOP"
"Not this evenin', stranger. When
widder picks this old mossback up
fur fiat she's bound to git left. | had
farm, but I've put it outer my hands.
had hired girl doin' the work, but
I've let her go. had three cows to
milk, and I've bought two more"
"The widow will have plenty of work,
eh?'
i
rags waitin' to be scwed," whispered
the old man as he drew down his eye.
"Seven of us to cook, wash and mend
fur. Cellar hain't bin whitcwashcd
fur three years, and all the house has
got to be cleaned. I've throwed the
well pump away and gone back to a
rope and bucket, and it's comm on
time to dry pumpkins, smoke meat
and pick the geese"
"She WON'T have much of q honey
moon" suggested.
"Bridle tower is goin' to be jest eight
miles longp' he said, as he winled the
othereyc. I've got it all planned and
the cost is Il dollar and half I've al
ready bought her ten yards of caliker
and two dollar pair of shoes, and she
can't hev no excuse to run to the store
fur a year. The only money shall hev
about the house is this fifty-cent piece
with hole in it, Stranger, look me
all over as / turn around"
whats the idea?'
"To see if any flies hev lit on me
while we've bin talkin'."
mo, don't see any"
81 didn't much 'spect you would.
Thar wasn't any on me when | left
home, though I'm ~ years old, and
thar won't be any on me when stand
before that widder and offer her my
heart and hand. Think of them chill
dren a takin' on because that widder
is goin' to wreck me inside of three
months, and then think of the widder
tryin' it on mel Say, stranger"
"Nell?"
"Jest one word more. I've got seven
hogs in the pen up home, and I'll bet
the hull of 'em agin dollar that in
stead of the widder wreckin' me I'll
borrow her last shillin' to pay fur get
tin my ha'r and whiskers dyed up an
to fix the preacher who marries us.
The children don't know me. I'm a
gettin' a wife, hired man, hired gal,
sewin' woman an mother fur 'em all
combined in one, and don't actually
believe the hull expense will amount
to over three dollars, Thar is moss in
the woods around here, stranger, but
none CROWN on my spinal column.
Thar is flies a-fyin' about this depot,
but you jest notice that none of en-
stop to light on the undersignedr'-
Detroit Free Press.