Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-09-14

the English never could Quite under
stand especially about the years 1776 and
1872. Since the latter time, Mr.. Bull has
kept his fingers scrnpulously remote from
the American pie, except upon n oc-
casion during the late unpleasantness,
wheh he dipped them into a little exclus-
lively American dish,and got them cover
ed with a sticky substance which cost him
S%l5,OOO,0OO to get off, later on. While the
English investigation committee may be
inspired in part by a desire to visit in
this country, sail down the limpid waters
of the Gulf of Lower California from the
city of Maine to South Carolina, and
then skirt along the coast of Missouri,
through Hudson Bay to the island of
Vancouver, taking in the large seal fish
cries IN southern Michigan, and stopping
for a days hunt in the buffalo country
surrounding the Gulf of Mexico, yet it
is also probable that they are inspired
again by a we'll developed desire to in
trude their copper-toed nasal organs in
to American affairs, out of a feeling Of
self-constltuted superiority. The Am
erican people will be just as we'll salts
fed should the commission do a little in
vestigating in London slums, and make
another determined attempt to locate
Jack the Ripper. While the commission
is busted in this very sensible occupa-
ton, and convincing itself by actual
research that the Niagara Falls are not
the outlet of the Penobscot river, the
American people will endeavor to get
along unassisted, as they have done for
the past century.
Realistic novels seem to be all the
rage in this fin du steele period, and the
realism boosted in some of them is both
superauous and nauseating. I was read
ing one of these the other day, and was
deeply impressed with the frantic and
hysterical efforts Of the writer to lay
scenes and conditions so clearly before
his readers, that nothing, absolutely
nothing, be left to the Imagination. One
spasm in the opening was about as
follows:
1t was night. The day had ceased to ex-
lst. 1t had resolved itself into the past:
the u had gone down, to be consistent
with the decease of the day, and the moon
had arisen to shed its mellow light over
the scene which the sun had forsaken.
There was not a cloud in the sky, and con-
sequently the stars ShOne in undimmed
splendor.
Isabella Prettygirl glued her gray eyes
to the window pane in the north side OF her
luxurious boudoir, and gazed out through
them into the moonlit sky. Now and then
a large, wet tear trickled out of her ewes.
through her e%yelashes, down her rosy
cheeks, over her chin, down the window
pane, across the window sill, along the
wall paper. over the dado and then CrickIed
down its smooth surface to the floor which
was situated beneath the heavy, brussels
carpet, where it was at once absorbed by
the wood flooring. With the four fingers
n thumb which dangled listlessly from
the extreme END of the arm which hung
pendent from the right side of her BODY.
Isabella tapped restlessly upon the trans.
parent glass which was fastened securely
into the window frame on the north side
OF her boudoir and surrounded on four
sides by the window castings. Isabella
was calling up reminiscental recollections
OF bygone memories which belonged to q
past which lay in the years which had gone
by.
To do this, Isabella was necessarily en-
forced to think, and as a consequence She
was thinking.
The hours passed by, and it grew later
and later, until, after a certain period of
time had elapsed, it was almost midnight.
the clock indicating but a few moments
from the hour of twelve. Finally the
clock struck Observation-Disclosures
six-seven-e ight-nine- ten eleven
twelve. Isabella knew that unless she had
missed a beat, it was twelve o'clock, and
that the hour of midnight had arrived,
Isabella again allowed her gaze to wander
through her eyelids out of the transparent
window, and then she sighed a long sigh,
almost a foot in length. Turning her ewes
away from the window, she no longer gaz.
ed in that direction, but looked another
way, different from the way she had been
looking, when she had gazed out of the
window in the north side of her boudoir,
The hour Of midnight having passed
IL was now morning, and the moon, not
having gone down yet, still shone. The
stars, also, were still in the heavens. not
having moved in the course Of the evening.
Isabella Prettygirl sighed another long
sigh, this time about an inch n one-half
longer than the first one.
There is more Of it, but I do not feel
vindictive, and will spare those who
have been kind enough to bear with me
thus far. I will state, however, that Is
abella did not get to the bed, which she
utilized at different times in her pirlish
career for the purpose of sleeping, until
nearly 4 o'clock, and then when she
awoke at 8 o'clock, another day had put
IN its appearance, and the night had
Hown into the past, which was located
IN the time which had gone by.
With an ignorant im%pertinence which
will run about 1,200.candle power and
Withstand the severest palariscopic test
Mr.. J. Sterling Morton, the inefficient
1gnoramus who occasionally loses him.
self in the ample robes laid down by