The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-01-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"All broke up"--The Worlds Fair.
Pastimes-The middle ages Truth.
Lovers quarrels should be soft snaps.
--Elmira Gazette.
Debt makes man look as useless as
the letter b in the word. Hello.
The messenger boy is welded to his
idles. --Glens Falls Republican.
''This is thel lap of luxury, remarked
the kitten as she came across bowl of
cream.
The astronomers business, in spite of
the dull times, is looking up. Lowell
Courier.
In the shoemaking business the fret
is the last and the last first. -Roches-
ter Democrat. II,
Since swells fight shy Of politics,
II must continue bad,
Until by one OF fashions tricks,
1t gets to be a fad.
Washington Star
Nell--"Miss Passe hasn't very
beautiful form, has she?" Belle
''No, but she makes up for it. Phil
adelphia Record.
When you loan man $40 You are
apt to learn that it is no easy thing to
"pursue the even tenner. "-Glens
Falls Republican.
Buy your mushrooms only from
your botanist, and be sure that your
botanist understands his botany. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
''The sentence is that ye be hanged"
said Welsh Judge to r poor criminal,
''and hope it may prove warning to
you. "-London Tit-Bits. ~
He may be called an honest man
As one could wish to behold
But If you'll notice you surely will find
He's not above taking cold.
Chicago Inter-ocean.
The Spinster-"T Those jokes on the
age of woman are so tiresome. The
Dcbutante-''Yes, understand how
you feel about them. New York
Herald.
"You ought to be very proud OF
your wife. She is brilliant talker." "
you're right there" ''Why, [ could
listen to her all night" 81 often do.
Texas Siftings.
Professor of Logic-'I put my hat
down in the room; | cannot see 1t
anywhere; there has been nobody in
besides myself; ergo, am sitting on
itr'--El Nervion.
Father--'Is that young girl you're
going to marry economical?' Son
enthusiastically should say So
Why, last year she spent S25O0 in bar
gains !"--Chicago Record
Have you a copy OF
Fifteen Decisive Battles? Book.
seller-"No, sir; we are sold out.
But we can give you Reflections OF u
Married Man. '"-Tid-Bits.
Codling-"Why did you speak to
that how'd twamp, dear boy?" Softly
-"Why shouldn't I, old chappie?
He isn't in twade and he doesn't work
faw living Boston Globe.
OTIS wonderful, remarked the
editor, chow proud man acts when
he is going to have his picture pub
lished and how humble he is after it
has happened. Washington Star.
Love hath q million tender ways
For simples and for scholars,
And vet for love some have no praise
Without million dollars. I
Detroit Free Freq
''I tell you that idleness don't pay.
The surest way for n person TO get
ahead is to keep moving "Guess
you're right That's the way four or
five tenants got ahead of me last
week. Buffalo Courier.
1t is useless to tell boy who has
determined to become a barber that
he must "begin at the foot, and it is
equally waste of time to say to boy
who intends to be chiropodist that
he viii reach head some day. y.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Mr.. Jones-."So you are the new
servant my wife has hired. l suppose
you had good rcferences?' New Ser
vant-"Yes, indeed. l was in my last
place three years and they gave me
time allowance of nine months for
good behavior. Texas Siftings.
Chief Miller" Say, Sleuthpup, did
you catch that thief?' Detective
Sleuthpup--"No, sir" Chief Miller
-"Well, why didn't you catch him?"
Detective Sleuthpup--"I don't know,
Chief, unless it's because Two Just been
yuccinatcd, "-Philadelphia Record.