davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07
ssr,nn,e. Of spae-.

| OF course a bright girl ought tt
have a spark of humor. Lowell Cou
rier.
To TELL dignifled citizen to pull
down his vest is apt to raise hi:
choler.-Siftings
THE criminal Sheriff can manage
an execution as soon as he gets the
hang OF the thing.-Picayune.
The fact that woman is Eighty
by no means indicates that she is
growing wings. Detroit Tribune.
SOME fiddlers can play tune on
one string, but it never makes any.
body want to dance. Rams Horn.
TEACHER-Define quartz. Milk.
mans son (who is rather absent
minded Pint and half.-Tid-B is.
TIL-@What is your father going to
give you when you get married." Lii
Ills consent, / suppose. The
Standard.
DUKE OF SQUALLBRo-"1 will never
marry woman cleverer than myself.
Miss Whirlsfair-"You'll have great
trouble getting ed."-Vogue.
JAGsoN says his neighbor's daugh-
ter, who is learning the piano, can
not be accused of fraudulent prac
tice-it's all sound. -Elmira Gazette.
In olden times the Egyptians had
a cat cemetery which they consid-
cred sacred. We suppose they called
it their cattycombs. Rochester Dem
ocrat.
The seraphic uplifting of the soul
following ones first shave in the
downy period Of ones existence can
never be repeated. Boston Tran
script.
WHILE all doctors bills are big
enough, the man who has to 60 to a
throat specialist is more than ever
liable to get it in the neck. Buffalo
Courier.
DIR. Book, of Leipsic, says: Beer
is brutalizing, wine impassions, whis-
ky infuriates." He is not the Book
the beer is named after, evidently
Boston Globe.
The editor who is always feeling
the pulse Of the people is not really
interested in their heart beats. 1t
is his own circulation that he is look
ing after.-Life.
Mr.. CRITIC-"If that's "A Hunting
Scene why don't the men have guns?"
Mr.. Caustic-"Perhaps the artist
painted them so naturally that they've
gone off. Jester.
JACK Ito his sister Ethel)-@Cholly
Chumpleigh said he was coming round
to propose to you tonight. Has he
turned up?" Ethel-"Yes, and been
turned down. Halo.
MAUD-Why don't you give young
Sewers some encouragement if you
love him? Nell-Oh, he ought to be
able to press his own suit; he's tai
lor.-Philadelphia Record.
FIRST DEACON (criticising MINISTRY
-"Well, if Mr.. Hardtext isn't very
interesting, he at least doesn't slop
over" Second Deacon-"No; he is
too dry for that. Texas Strings.
THE PoET's WIFE hey say that
poetry is drug on the market" The
Poet-"Nonsense! If you'd ever sold
any poetry and bought any drugs
you'd know the difference Harlem
Life
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

ELDERLY MAIDEN-This Is so I'M
expected, Mr.. Wellalong, that-that
you must give me time. Elderly
Lover-Time, Miss Rebecca? Do you
think there is any to spare?-Chicago
Tribune.
This taxin' incomes amt the
thing to do to make the country
rich," said Uncle Silas. They'd
oughter tax expenditures. People'd
spend less'n' save more then.
per's Bazaar.
VIsIToR-"Tommy, / wish to ask
you a few questions In grammar.
Tommy-@Yes, sir" If give you
the sentence The pupil loves his
teacher what is that?" Sarcasm.
Texas Siftings.
MISS HEvvIswELL asked me to
call, said Cholly, with a delighted
grin. did she?" said his unkind
friend. @She told me yesterday she
was going to be very careful to avoid
all pleasure during Lent Wash
ingtoieStsr.
CLOSE MERCHANT-Yes, sir,
want a new book-keeper, but you
won't do. Applicability I ask
why? Close Merchant-You are
bald as billiard-ball, sir. A man
with no hair to wipe his pen on will
rust out aewhale box every week
New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

After reading the following letters can any
one longer doubt that trustworthy remedy
for that terribly fatal malady, consumption,
has at last been found2 II these letters had
been written by your best known and most
esteemed neighbors they could be no more
worthy Of your confidence than they now
are, coming, as they do, from well known,
Intelligent and Trustworthy citizens, who,
In their several neighborhoods, enjoy the
fullest confidence and respect Of ell who
know them.
K. c. McLin, ESQ, of Kempsvi1ls, Princess
article, writes "When I commenced tax
ing DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
was very low with cough and at times
spit up much blood. I was not able to do
the least work, but most Of the time was in
bed. l was all rundown, very weak, my
head was dizzy and was extremely despon-
dent. The first bottle took did not seem
to do me much good, but had faith in it
and continued using it until had taken
fifteen bottles and now I do not look nor
feel like the same man was one year ago.
People are astonished and say, well, last
year this time l would not have thought
that you would be living now can thank
fully say am entirely cured OF a disease
which, but for your wonderful Discovery
would have resulted in my death"
Even when the predisposition to consump-
ton is inherited, it may be cured, as verified
by the following from most truthful and
much respected Canadian lady, Mrs. Thomas
Vansicklin, Of Brighton, Ont She writes
I" have long felt it my duty to acknowledge
to you what DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery and his Pleasant Pellets have
done for me- They almost raised me from
the grave. I had three brothers and one
sister die of consumption and I was
speedily following after them. I had severe
cough, pain, copious expectoration and other
alarming symptoms and my friends all
thought I had but few months to live. At
Medical Discovery and the first bottle
acted like magic. OF course, I continued on
with the medicine and as q result gained
rsridlv in strength. Ny friends were aston
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

JUDGE BEGAD = prisoner at the
bar, you are charged with shooting
the plaintiff through each ear, one
foot, an elbow, and along the top Of
his head. What have you to say for
YOURSELF" Alkali Ike the prisoner)
-@Wal, / didn't have no KILN
grudge ag'in' him, an so l jest shot
him in the thin places around the
edges SOS not to hurt him too much. ("
Life.
NO." SAID Farmer Corntassel's
wife; "farae amt fur everybody.
There's Josiar, he done his best, but
he never will get famous" "What
was his ambition?" "Ter git his pic
ter in the paper. He set up nights
tryin' ter think Of some ailment ter
take patent medicine fur, but he was
90 overpowerin' healthy that they
wasn't single thing fur i'm ter git
cured Of "-Washington Star.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07
A Cry for Helm

In the stiffness of the night is sufficiently start
ling. What if no aid be at hand or we know
not whence the cry comes7 This is not the case
with that mute appeal made to the resources
of medical science, ever ready, ever available
by disease on every hand. A prompt means of
self help for the malarious, the rheumatic, the
dyspeptic, the bilious, and persons troubled
with impending kidney complaints, is to be
found in Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, an ever
present help in time of trouble for all such
hapless individuals. They should not delay a
moment in seeking its aid. Experience has
shown its wide utility the recommendation of
eminent physicians everywhere sanction its use.
Nervous, thin, debilitated invalids gain bodily
substance and vigor by course of this fine in
vigorant, which is eminently serviceable, also,
to the aged and convalescent.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Mr. FARwEsT-"I met my old
schoolmate, Lakeside, to-day, for the
first time in an age, and thought
from the way he acted when 1 men,
toned you that you and he must have
had some romance or other before we
met" Mrs. Farwest-%No romance
about it. We were married for few
years, that's all. New York Weekly.
MANAGER-"The critics say that in
the play "A Wronged Wife, you do
not exhibit enough emotion when
your husband leaves you, never to re-
turn" Popular Actress - Oh, I
don't, don't /? Well, I've had two
or three husbands leave, never to re-
turn, and / guess 1 know as much
about how to act under those circum-
stances as anybody. Puck.
Dozeleigh: Why do you insist upon the
new pastor being fat man? Deacon Broad
aisle: Because fat men are generally short
rin1ol
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07
The Evolution

Of medicinal agents is gradually RELOCATING
table extracts to the rear and bringing into
general use the pleasant and effective liquid
laxative, Syrup of Figs. To get the true
remedy see that it is manufactured by the
California Fig Syrup Co., only. For sale by
all leading druggists
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

New York Ticket Agent.-Western Man.
That's about the tamest ticket seller I've
seen yet. Polite as pie. Mr.. Gotham: Oh,
we have plenty of that kind in New York.
They live in flats where there are janitors.
New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

WIDow-"I want a stone for my
hGLband's grave exactly like the 9th.
er one in the lot" Agent-"But
isn't it trife small for a man Of
your husbands prominence" Widow
-@No, sir! II Thomas thought a
stone like that was good enough for
his first wife, guess it's plenty good
enough for Thomas Life
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

"How IS Skimmins getting along in
his profession?" said one Chicago
man to another. @He Is quite sue
cessful, / understand. But he told
me yesterday that he owed several
thousands Of dollars" yes. That
shows how well he must have estab-
lished his credit" Detroit Free
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

a TOOL Tor killing noxIous weeds
in a garden has been invented by
Mrs. Grafton Ross, an English wo.
man. The implement is a hollow
piercer, through which poison is con.
veyed to the root
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

A Lay View.-Mrs. Bibbs.-Mrs. Grape got
the insurance on her husbands life within
week after his death. Mrs. Dibbs: Well,
we'll That's most extraordinary. They
couldn't find any excuse for not paying it,
l suppose.-New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

A Safe Diet-Mother: What does the doc
tor say? Daughter: He says l have heart
trouble, and must not read anything that is
the least bit exciting.-Mother: That's too
bad. You will have to confine yourself to
the monthly magazines New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

A Reason Somewhere.-Lord Noodle: Aw
American girls must be different from
English girls if they are permitted to go
about without chaperons, don't you know"
American Girl: Perhaps American men are
different from Englishmen.-New York
Weekly
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

links Fool Notion.-Winks: Did you ev-
er notice that, during hard times, religious
revivals always start up and the long empty
churches are sure to be filed? Jinks: Yes.
'EHow do you account for it?' ''Salvation's
free. New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

One Little Favor.-She: No, it can never
be. do not love you enough to be your
wife. But, before you go, want to ask one
favor. He (dejectedly): Well, what? "Please
do not marry any one se."-New York
Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Business Improving ANY change
for the better in your lire of business? Bill
son: Yes. it's been several weeks since
we've had bill collector starve to DEATH
New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

An American Society Incident "What are
the Noodells making such fuss about?''Sec-
ond American: They say that the Doodells
next door have stolen the Noodells' coat of
arms.-New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

"Now," said the medical professor, ''if a
man were brought to you, Mr.. Hawkins,
suffering from an unmistakable case of
smallpox what would you do?'' SID light
out" said Hawkins.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Brown: Did old Stingiman give way
when he heard the bad news? Jones: Give
nothing: He never gave anything in his
life
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

BEEcHAM's PILLS will dislodge bile, stir
up the liver, cure sick headaches, and make
you feel we'll. 25 cents box.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

''Goodluck has had his salary raised was
it for extra work?'' "Yes: he always listens
when the proprietor tells his baby's smart
savings
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Alarming News.-Western Storekeeper:
1 see by the papers that there is talk of
dredging the Chicago river. Drummer: My
gracious! hope they won't begin till get
back east.-New York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Tested by Time. For Bronchial affec-
tons, Coughs, etc., BRowN's BRONCHIAL
TRooHEs have proved their efficacy by test
of many years. Price % cts.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

"No; haven't the faintest idea of her
age" 81 thought you had been friends since
childhood?' ''That's just why am so un.
certain. You see, 10 years ago she was 18. y
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

LEND me S1O." 81 told you yesterday
that was broke" "Yes, know; but I'd
just as soon borrow from liar as any body
else"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

1t was Manitoba high school boy who
said there were four zones-frigid, horrid,
temperate and Incorporate.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

"Hansoh's Magic Corn Salve."
Warranted to cure or money refunded. Ask YOU
druggist for it. Price Is cents
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Goes Cough ESaIsam
Is the Oldest md best. 1t will break Cold quick
than anything else. 1t always reliable Try 1t.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Shiloh 8 Consumption Cure
Is SOLD on guarantee. 1t cures Incipent Consump
ton. 1t Is the best Cough Cure. 2cts Scots 1l0Q
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07
A. w. GLEASOl

Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9Th day of December, A. D.,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07
STATE OF OHIO, CRY OF TOLEDO,


FRANK j. CHENEY makes oath that he is
the senior partner of the firm of F. J. Che
NEY d Co., doing business in the City of To-
ledo, County and State aforesaid, and that
said firm will pay the sum of ONE HUN
DRIED DOLLARS for each and every case
of CATARRH that cannot be cured by the use Of
HALLS CATARRH CURE.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07
~
SEAL

( N W. OLIAHONg
Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally and
acts directly on the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. Send for testimoni-
ais, free.
F. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
"a Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

The wires have been loaded with reports
of damages by frost, but they are exagger-
ated of course; at least appear so from the
fact that where there is indication of any
damage some fellow telegraphs and where
there is none, nothing is said about it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

There are 10000 sheep, half of them the
property of the Mormon church, near the
Colorado boundary and Governor Waite is
called upon by the Colorado cattle men to
prevent the entry of these sheep into the
state and upon their ranges.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

The Missouri penitentiary has over 1000
convicts in it. The number of convicts not
under contract is about 1000; dead weight
for the taxpayers to carry. Every cell is
occupied, with prospects of a large in
crease in the number Of convicts this year.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

The senior class at Kansas university has
decided to start loan fund for the use of
students who would otherwise be unable to
attend school. The fund will be large enough
to enable at least two students to attend
school. It will be placed in charge of the
hoo ri of re0eOtS
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

The vessels of the British navy which will
cooperate with our naval force to police the
seal waters are at or in the neighborhood of
Esquimault, B. c. The vessels selected for
the service can be coaled and supplied with
everything needful for their cruise in very
few days.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

The Jury in the case of Laidlaw versus
Sage, in which Russell Sage was sued for
damages sustained by Clerk Laidlaw on the
occasion of the throwing of a dynamite
bomb by the crank, Norcross, in Sage's Of
fee, has returned a verdict for $4,000 for
the Dlaintiff
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

After much hard work, covering a period
of six months. Springfield, Mo-. has sue
ceeded'in securing the state normal school.
Balance of $4,000 bonds is raised and the
contract for the building awarded, the work
To commence Immediately
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Rumor gains credence that the Burlington
railway system will enter Topeka soon by
leasing or buying the abandoned Leaven-
worth and Topeka line from Leaven worth
TO Meriden and building the Ten mile gap
into Topeka.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

c. P. Huntington says that if the govern
ment does not accept the proposition of the
Central Pacific, postponing the time of pay,
nent of the roads debt, the probability il
that the first mortgage bondholders will take
The road.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Keeping a fleet at Rio has been expensive.
Stores and supplies there are always dear
and the cost has been EXCHANGED by the war.
Coal alone is a considerable item, the price
at Rio being about $11.50 per ton and the
consumption of the new vessels is very
large
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Business in Rio de Janeiro, says a cable
from there, is rapidly reviving. This is espe-
cially true in the case of houses dealing with
American merchants. 1t is the general opin-
ion here that the attitude of the United States
during the trouble here will result in mate
rial increase of the business done with that
country.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

The secretary of the treasury returned to
the committee the bill introduced by Con-
gresham Curtis to close forty ports of entry
where the receipts are not equal to the ex-
pense connected with maintaining the offices.
The secretary recommends the passage of
the bill,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

Colonel Breckinridge's church member
ship at Lexington, Ky., is in serious danger.
There will be a change in the pastorate
shortly and a move, it is said. will then be
made to cast him out. Colonel Breckenridge
has been member of this church for thirty
years.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1894-04-07

President Cleveland vetoed the Bland
seigniorage bill in three column message !;
one reason given being that the bill does not
protect the credit of the government by au-
thorizing the secretary of the treasury to
issue and sell bonds at his discretion.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-05
es- GOODS DELIVERED IN ALEX
ANDRIA.
Woodward & Lothrop.
10th, 18th & F Sts., n. W.,
WASHINGTON. D. c.

BABY KILLED IN A FOLDING Bed
A folding spring bed was the death
trap in which an infant son of Charles
Barker, of Springfield avenue, Wynd-
moor, Montgomery county, Pa, broke
his neck about $50 o'clock yesterday
morning. While the little fellow rolled
and romped upon the bed, shortly after
awakening from his slumbers, an iron
spring suddenly clasped, the bed folded
together with bang, the baby's neck
was broken and he died. The accident
brought the mother quickly to the
child's assistance With cry of horror
she forced open the closed bed, only to
find her child lying limp upon the mat
tress. With all possible haste Doctors
Foltz and Johnson, of Chestnut Hill,
were summoned They found by q
hasty examination that not only was
the child's neck broken, but that his
death was probably instantaneous.
The case was reported to Justice of the
Peace George w. II. Smith, who held
an inquest last evening, with the result
that verdict of accidental death was
rendered.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-05

PERsoNAL.-Mr. ]. l.. Wise,l Ct
Georgetown, and Miss Katie l.. New
Ion, Of Loudoun county, were married
in Baltimore on Tuesday.
Mrs. Fielder C. Slingluff has return
ed to her lovely home on North Calvert
street, after spending the summer and
early autumn at the Patapsco Institute
resort, near Ellicott City, Md. Mrs.
Slingluff has the reputation of being
one of the handsomest married ladies
in Baltimore, and those who knew her
as the beautiful Miss Johnson (of Alex
andria) find that time has increase
rather than diminished her charms
Balto. Ne'cs.
Ex-congressman "Iceman" Turner,
of New York, was liz the city today on
business. He says the democratic out
look in New York has greatly improved
during the past few days and that he
thinks the democrats will win at the
fall election.
Mrs. May Zimmerman, of Richmond,
Is very i'll on upper Duke street.
kew. DR.. Minnigerode continues to
grow weaker. His son, Mr.. Meade
Minnigerode, arrived in New York
yesterday from Europe and reached his
fathers bedside last night.
DR.. Abbot, president of the electric
railway, was in the city to-day on bust.
ness.
The Roanoke Times says: Miss Lucy
Lyons Lee, who has been visiting the
family of Colonel Charles Burwell al
Glenmore, returned on Wednesday tc
her home in Alexandra,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-05

The SOUTHERN RA1LwAY.-The
New York Mail and Express says: De-
spite the many denials the belief prev
alent in Richmond is that there Is going
to be very close alliance between the
Southern Railway and Chesapeake and
Ohio. 1t is said that there was con-
ference between President Spencer, OF
the Southern, and President Ingalls,, OF
the Chesapeake and Ohio, in Rich
mond on Tuesday, and that two of the
former company's officials accompanied
President Ingalls, on trip to Newport
News. The two companies will jointly
build a depot in Richmond, and it is
understood that second track will be
built on the Chesapeake and Ohio from
Richmond to Newport News in order
to accommodate the traffic from the
Southern, which proposes to make that
port its deep water terminus.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1894-10-05
DRY GOODS.
v God ward & Lotlrop.
10th. 18th and F Sts., N. ".
FRENCH Pattern Hats and
! Bonnets and Millinery
Novelties, Colored and Black
Gown Stuhs, Silks, Velvets,
Gown Garniture, Wraps, Suits,
Furs, &c.
A NOVELTY.

Eureka Patent Corset Gov.
er with Dress Shield Pockets
Ours exclusively for Washing
ton. Ladies are quick to ap-
preciate the New Method Of
holding Dress Shields. Nc
sewing or getting out of place.
Pockets provide for absorption.
Ladies wearing this garment
can use any dress or shirt
waist without trouble with
Shields.
Ladies who care for neat and
convenient dressing adopt this
garment.
Fine cambria, high or low
neck, trimmed with neat en-
broidery. All sizes.
35c, SOC, Csc to $1.25 Each,
Second floor, 1Oth-st. building.)