Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1894-03-08
SOME COLLEGE EUMoR.

Electrical science has made such
remarkable progress in recent
times that vibrations have been
recorded covering only the mil
lionth part Of q minute-so, at
least, the experts claim. With
equal advance in the science OF
PSYCHOLOGY it may some day be
possible to discover the element OF
fun underlying and impelling the
preparation Of college practical
jokes.
To the normal intellect there is
no apparent humor in such an act
as that committed by gang OF
Dartmouth sophomores the other
day when they abducted and inn
prisoned a freshman POSTMASTER
engaged for an anniversary which
all American boys ought to hold
sacred, Washington's Birthday.
Something not quite SO silly oc-
Cured the other day at Yale; but
the climax cf college jocosity was
reached at Cornell University on
the night Of Feb, 20, when a lot Of
hilarious sophomore conceived
and partly carried on the ingenis
Gus notion Of poisoning the mem
bers Of the freshman class, by fill.
ing their banqueting room with
chlorine gas. The joke was not
wholly successful, as none Of the
freshmen were killed. Only one
poor colored woman. a cook, actu-
ally died from it, though another
woman, her assistant. came peril
ously near meeting the same fate.
OF course the mischievous idiots
who attempted the "joke' did not
mean to commit murder, any more
than the animated imbecility means
homicide when he points a pistol
at his brother or sister and "did not
know it was loaded" when the
coroner interviews him.
College "hazing" has been
stamped out of the two national
academies, Annapolis and West
Point. The authorities Of those
institutions, after overrpatient 4
durance of the horse~play, decided
that the military schools Of the
nation are training schools for men
not asylums Cor the Predetermined,
Uncle Sam feeds and clothes and
teaches the young men in those
establishments, fitting then to be
useful servants Of his people. The
doors are wide oTen for all who
are worthy to enter. He has jadici~
ously opened them also f5r those
who are eligible to go out. AS
soon as he did so, hazing ceased in
those schools.
"Hazing," "staking," "rushing,"
or whatever it may be styled. has
n simple, ugly synonym, ''bully~
ing" 1t is not American in spirit
nor character. It is a relic Of EGGS
fish barbarism. It's complement,
tagging" has never found a foots
hold here, because the American
boy, however prone to play the part
of bully, will never submit to ac~
cept that of funkey.
We do not feel unkindly towards
the college boy, On the contrary,
we like him for his many loYable
traits, for his loyalty to college
traditions, however absurd they
may be, for his optimistic trust in
himself and the future, and for the
splendid yonthfal courage which
makes him a hero in time Of need
The Harvard Memorial building is
a monument to his patriotism,
which could be duplicated in other
college grounds all over the couns
try.
The college bog, in the words Of
the street, is "alliign';'' but, like
every other boy, he needs control
and-guidance. It is his fashion to
speak OF himself and his comrades
as men. That, too, is all right, if
it but teach him that men are re-
sponsible beings who owe obedi-
ence not only to their parents and
superiors'but also to the law Of the
land. He must learn that society
expects men to act as such, and
that nobody who defea the statutes
governing all citizens may plead
the baby act because he happens
tie be a college man.
All For A Barley Corn,
LaFontaine in one of the fables, tells
of a harnyard owl that scratched up a
gem. while scratching for corn, Not
Hnowinp ifs yaIue. he rave If To q stone