davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
"a LlTrLE NONSENSE

Mrs. Sharpe-''I can't pay You for
three or four weeks yet. l lost a lot of
money this month in speculation
You don't say! Whose was it?''-Cin-
cinnati Tribune.
-s'Dinkle-''This bewildering maze
the poets write of. ! wonder what it
means?'' er-''I'ewildering maize?
Something about corn juice ] sup
pose.''-Buffalo Courier.
-Bacon-''What's that thread tied
about your little finger for?'' Egbert
--"Oh, that's just to remind my wife
to ask me if forgot something she told
me to remember. ''-Tit-Bits.
Fat Nan-''Whew! How do you
account for this unexpected hot wavc:''
Weather Prophct-''I think it must I've
on account of my buying Il fail ov"r-
/ coat and ii heavy Derby. N. Y. JoNr-
nal.
THE editor found Il burglar i'll his
room, and ''Was killed by him."
mo; held the burglar up and got
enough out of him to pay off mort
gage on the paper.''-Atlantu Consti-
sutton.
-''Lool< here said the proprietor Of
the lunch esta blishment, 'this coin ha =
IL hole in it, WELL replied Mean
| dering Mike, 80 had the doughnuts
We sold me- And he strobe haughtily
on.-Washington Star.
-"Everyb body speaks of him a ris-
| ing young man. said the young wom-
an. Eyes" replied the young man,
| s:you see. he never loses II chance to
| get up and give a lady a seat in a horse
car.'-Washington Star.
| 49, Angry Customer - "Hullo! yo1
waiter, where is that oNtail soup
Misunderstanding sir-half a minute
Customer you! how slow
you are!" Waitcr-''Faulto of the soup.
sir Oxtail is always behind. BIO ID
! Brook Democrat.
/! -Foreman-.Can't get that great
Japanese victory in anyway unless you
kill the ball game Editor--''Oh. hold
; it over: change Japanese to Chinese
throughout and run it tomorrow. and
well scoop the next days papers,
'Boston.Transcript.s- %
>; Lumber Mcrchant-'.I made nv
money in the timber business. re.
marked "a titled noblenan with an
American wife. No! l never heard
of that. How did you do it?'' asked
his companion. Well. l had famous
family tree. and an American heires.
gave me a fortune for it. M 7. sun
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
HUMOROUS.

-''If you don't leave at once, l shall
call the porter! :" Peddler-"Very we'll
Perhaps he will buy something of me"
-Fliegende Blatter.
-Nell-"Mr. Sillicus is only an apol-
osy for man." Belle-s'Well, wouldn't
you accept an apology if it was Offer
ed?''-Philadelphia Record.
--Wool-''One of these hunting-belts
seems to be loaded with blank cart
ridges.' Van Petit forgot to tell
you: young Brown has asked to go with
us.''-Puck.
Caesar was lucky man. He could
go around where he pleased and his
tons. She was above suspicion.--Bos-
ton Transcript.
Noises Of the Fall.-''What is that
swapping noise over there at the other
end of the hotel porch?' That's a bevy
Of summer girls breaking their engage
ments.''-N. Y. Sun.
1T seemed sort of strange at first
said Mr.. Bugleton, Ito hear my friend
uustleby, the horscman, who was tell
ing about the terrible dream he had
last night, begin describing it a
nightmare twenty hands high, but 1
suppose it was natural enough"
Next Sunday, BRETHREN" said the
pastor, 81 shall preach on the subject,
What Your Neighbors are Saying
al 1ou is IccOTOe(t GAdC rev
DIR. Goodman preached. the following
Sunday. to the largest audience that
ever assembled in the church, and hun.
aredS We're turned away.
THE Sins of the Father etc.
Tommy (studying his lesson)-'I say,
pa, where does the Merrimac rise, and
into what sea does it empty?" Pal
don't know. my son." Tonlmy-''You
don't know? And tomorrow the teach
er will lick me on account of your ig-
nora nee. Harlem Ii fe.
A little Buffalo girl was not feeling
we'll, and her parent suggested she
might be about to have chiclzen-pox.
then prevalent. She went to bed
laughing at the idea, but early next
morning she went into her parents
room. looking very serious, and said:
eyes, it is chicken-poX, papa: I found
a feather in the bed."-
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
-eEaaoAlAl..Aeap -.LlTERARy.

-Ralph Waldo Eunefsonss son, Ed
ward Waldo Emerson, Is giving lectures
In England on lila fathers correspond
ence with John Sterling 8tid ON the
story of Thoreau's life.
Alfred Calderon, the well-lknown
Spanish writer, has Joined tho move
ment against bul1-dghts, and has writ.
ten some vigorous articles against that
brutal sport. The agitation has g.
sumed considerable dl1msnsions, .esper
cial1y in Madrid.
James Russell Lowell. In lis later
years; SO current story of him runs.
sefit ali attie1e, he had prepared with
Monthly over the signature Of All mn
known person. It was declined with
many thanks" Lowell then sent 1t
over his own name to another editor,
who gratefully accepted it.
There are eight women colonies in
Germany, all of whom draw their pay
regular1y-name1y,t the empress of Ger
many, the dowager empress. the Prin-
cess Frederick Charles Of. Prussia. the
Queen Regent Sophia, Queen Wilhel-
h1ina Of the Netherlands, the duchess
of Connaught; the duchess of Edin-
burgh and Queen Victoria.
A Chicago man in Lexington. soon
after Garfield's death, was talking of
the bungling of the surgeons, when one
strated against the terrible treatment
and it's results. "wel1, q Kentucky
surgeon would have done no BETTER 50
| said the Chicagoan. 'You are right,
sah,'' replied the other; kentucky
surgeons know nothing about treating
wounds in the back. sah.'
Georges Ohnet was once travelling
in a railway carriage with a gentleman
of pronounced Semitic features. The
conversation turned on the persistent
attacks of Drumont on the Jews in the
Libre Parole, and Ohnet, who is hump
backed, expressed disgust at them. His
vis-a-vis looked at him for a moment,
and then said: ''Novv, it's very strange
you should sympathize. I myself dis
approve of those attacks for some rea-
son. ''And I have bumped back. ~
said Ohnet, with a smile.
SO far as known, the first book ever
written in English was a poem-''a
Para phrase" as it is called--of the cre-
alton, the war in Heaven and of the
fall of Satan, about the year 657. The
author was Caedmon, a convert from
paganism to Christianity. After the
Norman conquest there seems to have
been no books written in English until
the reign of King John, which began in
11eo. During this reign Layamon, a
priest of Worcestershire, wrote re-
marl<able poem of 3a,:5o lines, called
"Brut."
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

other pills. Hence, their great popularity
witt, sufferers from habit,ia1 constipation,
piles and their attendant discomfort and
manifold arrangements. The Pellets"
arc purely vegetable and perfectly harmless
in any condition of the system. No care is
required while using them: they do not
interfere with the diet, habits or occupa-
to the system. They act i'll a ,nild. easy aud
natural way and there is no reaction after
ward. Their help lasts.
The Pellets cure biliousness. sick aud
bilious headache, dizziness, costiyeness, or
constipation, sour stomach, loss of appetite,
coated tongue, indigestion or dyspepsia:
windy belchings. "heartb!1rr, pain and
distress after eating, and kindred derange-
ments of the liver, stomach and bowels.
In proof of their superior excellence, it can
be truthfuliy said, that they are always
first trial. Put up i'll sealed, glass walls,
there fore always fresh and reliable One
cathartic. As dinner pill" to promote
digestion, or to relieve distress from over
eating, take one after dinner. They are
tiny. sugar-coated granules; any child will
readily take them. f--s-E rs -t
Accept no substitute that may be recon-
,ner1ded to be just as good" 1t may be
better for the dealer, because. of paying linn
better profit, but he is not the one who
needs help. -
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

III sSS uSak4as nm m me -conun6Sn-
run Of time ard h6 went 0u CROWN aha
thfiv3n ~ usual.
FL reckon the Gallovvays Win soon sud
after Speck aud take him back 70 the
city to put him In school. I hate to see
him go. but he amt my property and It
II none Of my business in Particlsr
where they keep him. II they would
only let him stay down here whore he
can have the run Of the woods and hills
and fields I would bet even money that
The old aettleyneuat will tutn out another
full grown nnnsby=and-by. couldn't
8 scholar. nor make him sprouf white
wings before his time; but will prom-
ise to make a man out of him. or either
quit and go out Of the business.
- RUFUS SANDERs.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
ASSIST NATURE
a little now and then

a little now and then
in removing offend
ing matter from the
stomach and bowels
and YOU thereby
avoid a multitude
of distressing de-
engagements and dis
eases, and will have
less frequent need
of your doctors
service.
Of all know n
agents for this pur-
pose, Dr. Pierce's
Pleasant. Pellets are
the hes t. Once
used, they IRE nj.
ways i'm favor.
Their secondary eff
feet is to keep the
bowels open and
regular, not TO fur
Their colstipate, as
is the case with
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and Improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
RIGHTLY used. The many, who live bet
tef than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
tie needs Of siS Of 1s sbg w ie'ssi
laxative principles embraced in tho
remedy, Syrup Of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas,
ant te the taste, the refIe'hing and truly r.
alive; effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and Levers
It has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the med1esl
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free dom
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in SOC and 81 bottles, but it y man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being we'll informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

ssNow know why the milk we get nero
IA 40 weak. - said tho agricultural editor to
the farmer with whom he Vas boa, possc cl;
water to drink."-Philsdelphia Record.
:. ti'at he hasno money; butt must be added
in extenuation that he never had any
Fliegende Blaetter.
No AMOUNT of cultiva alton can make this
tia bear fruit.-Ram's Horn.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

THE combined apple product of the
six New England states Is about H..
0OO, 900 bushels per year.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

THE once famous court violinist,
Enrico Mast, died in Rome few days
ago He was at one time a member of
the well-known "Florentine Quartette.' -
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
SQUIRE KJjFUS SANDERS
fcopyrisht ise4.J

About the only.
est and most 81.
fest way to tell
what the next
race of men and
women will be
is tolool< around
and take notice
of the boys and
girls of the pres
emit day and gen
Grafton. It is
none of my bu.
siness In partic-
lar, but from
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

BECAUSE q man is industrious is no reasc
why we should choose him for an associat
Much as we admire the industry of a bee "
do not care to cultivate his acquaintance.
Young Mems Era.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

Tho Oldest System OF Telegrsphy
Is that established between the brain and
the nerves, which transmit instantaneousiy
to the great organ of sensation and thought
shocks arc very vivid. painful and disturb
ing when the nerves are weak. Hostetter s
Stomach Bitters strengthens, soothes and
renders the nerves tranquil. 1t induces
sleep, sound digestion and appetite, and con,
kidney trouble.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

Halls Cotarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price CSC.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

"TH1s," said the bachelor as he paid for
sewing on a button, sis what is meant by q
single tax ''-Clevcland Plain Dealer.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

DON'T Neglecta Cough; Take Some Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar tnstdntcT:
Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

FoeG-"Poverty is q misfortune, not q
crime" Figg-.f don't know about that;
at any rate poverty has been the cause of
much poetry writing.' Fogg-.'You mean
the writing of poetry has been the cause of
much poverty. '-Boston Transcript.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

Mr.. TRorrER-''I told you that Cholly's at
tentions to Emily Brown would never
amount to anything" Mrs. Trotter-'.Well,
You We're wrong again they frightened Dick
Faster into proposing at last, and Emily has
accepted him. ''=Harper's BaZar.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

s.CuoLLY seems changed since his trip
away, doesn't he?'' Fran ces-s'Indeed he
does-seems like another girl almost
Chicago Inter Ocean,
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

J1LLsoS says the girl whose adorer tells her
he loves every hair in her head will be fooled
ii she thinks he won't kick like q bay steer
if he should happen to find any Of them In
the biscuit after they are marr1ed.-BuHalo
Courier.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

A MAN who used to keep cigar store re
Gently went into the butter business: He
would have it ''mediun1, mild or strong.'-
Credit Lost,
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

THE Confederate Women's Monument
association has been organized ut Rich
mond, and q charter is to be obtained.
Voluntary subscriptions toward the
monument now amount to six hundred
dollars.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

FIaa-ssDid understand You to say that
Impecune was meeting his bills nowadayss''
Fogg-sYep; on every corner. "-Pittsburgh
chronicle Telegraph.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24
GOVERNMENT RAILROADS.


SOUTH AUSTRIA owns her own rail-
way system.
The little country of Hesse owns two
hundred and tvventy-six miles OF rail-
road.
THE government Of Portugal owns
about half the railroads In that
country. 80.
The Netherlands own nearly ono
thousand miles Of railroads, oil in the
best of condition.
A LARGE per cent. Of the railways OF
Italy are owned by the government
and leased to corporations.
VICTORIA, Australia, owns all tho
railroads In the colony. two thousand
three hundred and forty-one miles.
THE British colony Of New South
Wales owns two thousand ono hun
dred and eighty-two miles Of railway.
and New Zealand in 1892 owned SIX
hundred and seventy-two miles.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

"Why can't there be q fight without the
shedding of bloods" asks an opponent OF
he will find out exactly how the thing can
be done-N. Y. Tribune.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

- :; :: ].
- s.I j cuSSA 6est known 20 Ameri-
4 - " In : dangerous cons
4 ~ ilbng fSssenangs Of the
- n = b 1000 1oSrot1Sd- 4
n0ko ci9Arettea. come Of tho crowned
WuGnen have elegant boxes OF silver
With aah frsys q gold, - two Of the
osuaments Of their houdoirs.
. s'vguDow 9axingr l. profession In
London. A couple Of stylishly dresaed
1adics pause before tho window OF .
smerchant, remain about Ave minutes
md audibly praise the goods displayed
1naille. Then they pass ON to another
STORE on their long list of patrous-
ssDocroR, "said Mrs. Weeds, 'eIcan't get It
out Of my head that possaeay my poor dear y,
SuOrted DIR. Pedunclo. s<Didn't attend him
snyself In his last illness f'-Life.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

al can see and hear, s'comin and a
gwine.' it does look to me powerful like
we are now busy raisin up n generation
be the matter? Too burned Internal
many towns and cities-too blame many
people that would ruthcr live in a city
and wear storeeought clothes and eat
dry bread and drink sorry water, than
live In the country and wear plain
clothes and drink spring water and eat
three square meals day.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1894-11-24

e1oo0'o Pitts arc prompt and enncient. 2s>
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15
LIBRARY NOTICE.

Until FURTHER NOTICE THIS
~ Reading Room sn ths Reference
Department Of the Library Association
vi he closed on account Of necessary ,s
be open every day irOIn ESQ o'clock 4. 4.
n. A. BURBANK,
li0s 81 Librarian
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15
MoRTsAaEE's NOTICE OF SALE

NOTICE Is HEREBY GIVEN THAT
~ pursuant 10 power OF sale contain
ed In certain mortgage made by Antoine
Rosa and wife Of Honolulu, to Cecil Brow u
Of the same plaTe and Ut record In the o.
flee Of the Registrar Of Convcyances In
Liber 'US, on pages 20, ~ md q, and by
said Cecil Brown duly assigned to +. III.
Hayselden, trustee under the last will and
testament Of J. Ii. Hayseiden, deceased, by
document Of record Liber Ia on page 2l3,
the SAID mortgage intends 10 for-cluse
said mortgage for breach Of condition
therein contained, Notice Is also given
that the property covered by said NOR gage
will be sold AT Public Auction, at ~ O'Clock
noon, on SATURDAY, the nth day of
August, at tho auction rooms Of Jas +.
Morgan in Honolulu. The property in
said mortgage deed described IN
All that certain parcel Of land situate AT
kalihi in said hOnolulu, containing an
area Of 80 % acres. and being n portion OF
the premises described IN Royal Patent No,
,I,5, and conveyed TO said Antoine Rosa by
j. i. Mendonca, administrator OF the es-
tate Of Domingo Lopez Ramos by deed
dated the first day OF April, 1857, Of record
In the Hawaiian Registry OF Deeds ia Book
lOs, on pages "a and -,
Dated Honolulu, July 18th, 1894.
For further particulars apply 10
y. II. HAYSEi DEN,
trustee ~ the last win and Testament OF
J. Il. HAY selden, deceased, or "
CscIL Bows, Attorney,
~ The sale Of tue above prOperty I'M
der foreclosure II postponed until SAL u H.
DAY, September /, 1891, at the same time
and place. ilnI"lN
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15
Ignorance or Malice.

EDITOR Bulletin
1t is no wonder to my mind that
we have au unsettled state OF affairs
when the people responsible for the
present condition Of things display
such gross ignorance or malicious
perversion Of the state OF existence
Of the Hawaiian nation they live
among. Look at the reports OF the
Star and Advertiser on the sudden
death OF the native exhortsr at the
fish market. See the false reports
vi the return OF the aldloua, that red
fish whose sudden and unlooked-fo
appearance is supposed by the
superstitious to betoken the death
OF one of chiefly blood. Look at
the cruel ISLANDERS and falsehoods OF
S. Z. Bishop and other correspond.
ents a. to the superstitions aud hula
favoring character Of our beloved
Queen. All are on par. As | say
they show the grossest ignorance OF
the most malicious perversion oil
facts. And while such things 60 on
there will never really be any under.
standing come to between the for.
eigner aud the Hawaiian. No good
feeling can ever arise while such
ISLANDERS and lies are propagated by
the news gatherers aud publisher
Of the present party In power ant
not openly aud publicly repudiatet
by them. HAWAIIAN.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15
WEDNESDAY, AUG. Is, 1894

There is at last a CLEAN Of hope
that humanity will not always be
compelled to suffer the irritating at
tentions Of the mosquito race. Two
modes Of abating the nuisance are
published. One is by means Of kero-
sene or petroleum applied on their
breeding ground. Another fatal
enemy is a plant that catche. and
holds the noxious insects. 1t ha:
been observed In Honolulu tina,
when the street arc lights are no,
burning mosquitoes greatly increas,
in swsrms about houses near the
lamps. The electric lights certainl,
attract aud destroy all sorts OF in
scots that fly at night.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15

the prohibited hours. In the midst
OF the scarcity pedestrians on the
sidewalks sometimes get their
clothes wet from sprinklers going in
gardens at night, and again have to
step out in the roadway to avoid a
pool Of water flowing from private
grounds. More vigilance and i'm
partiality in enforcing the regula-
tions would result in at least q slight
mitigation Of the water famine.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15

When moving into our present
home l found a bottle Of Chamber.
lain's Pain Balm left by q former
tenant. On the label I found the
statement that Il was good for cuts
aud burns. | can testify to the
truth Of this. Nothing in all my
experience has found It's equal for
treating blisters or burns +. T.
BAgRErr, manager 10 Sneur Senti.
mel, L. Sueur, Mimi. Pain Balm Il
also . sure cure for rheumatism
For sale by Benson, Smith h Co.
Agents Tor the Hawaiian lslanha
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15
MosouITo-cAToHINo PLANT.
Honoluluites Might Do Well to Guilt
vate the Oddly.

At a recent meeting Of the Farm
er's Club at the American In
sti,ute, New York, a specimen Of a
Japanese mosquito. catching plant
was among the exhibits. The scieu.
tific name Of this oddity is vinceto4
icum acuminatum. II bears a small
white flower. The specimen was in
full bloom, and every blossom i'm
prison.d a mosquito, few Of which
were alive aud struggling.
The blossom, which is cleft in tn.
middle, secretes viscid juice,
which is attractive to mosquitoes aud
lures them (" their doom, for wbcr
once the proboscis is inserted in tb.
heart u tn, flower the insect is held
fast. -Iioston Transcript.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1894-08-15
SITUATION WANTED,

1 YOUNG GENTLEMAN DESIRES A
~ tltua'iOn In stor. ar elsew here,
flrt clsss book. keeper four years cape.
ri,nco In the Journalistic line. Address
"BOOK. X EEPEk,"
llOl-lm Care Of buLLkTIs Office.