The daily morning journal and courier., 1894-12-25
HOW TO TALK TO MEN.
A Socially Successful Woman Advises Ger
 tain Conventional Methods.

A Socially Successful Woman Advises Ger tain Conventional Methods.
 good index to this part of social ethics.
 A mendicant was dying. He called his son to his bedside and said: My | boy, you must go through life trusting to yourself now. I can leave you no money, but much wisdom and this mir TOT. Carry 1t always with the back to your face, presenting the mirrored surface to the world"
 Years passed on and the boy mendi- l cant became rich merchant. Gold had poured into his coffers as he walked through the world, his shining shield refecting all he met.
 Contentment came with these riches, then curiosity. Why, he thought, am so loved? What do l do that men should call me fair and agreeable? What occult magnetism do l possess to so easily compel this flow of riches? And he turned the mirror for the first time toward his own face. He was charmed. It gave back his features beautiful and glorified. He saw him. self in it's shimmering surface a crea- ture fair to behold, agreeable to be with-a laughing enchanting picture! Lost in rapture and love for himself, he paused in his way thereafter to gaze into the exquisite depths of his fathers gift.
 Gold, there was none left. People passed him by unsmiling He wonder ed, when not absorbed with self, why this condition was, and he died, poor and forgotten.
 The legend is to society as the laws of the Pundit to the Brahmans. It ex- plains all. Go through life rehecting people, not as they are, but as they wish to be, and the good things of the world are yoyrs- Why present to any man an ugly image of himself when his faults can be ignored and his virtues pleasingly presented without seeming ostentation or flattery?
 | Some veritist may excaim that such an attitude is not fair one-but now. prove his theory. There need be no | "toadying," no cringing, no playing for favors," but the brighter side of each mans life suggested to him by conversation. | Another claim to remembrance is this:
 l Said society woman, known for her tact and quantity of friends, whom I | queried as to her social tactics: T have a plan-posslbly not original, but cer- tainly successful-of ignoring the es | pecially pleasant thing man necessar- l fly knows about himself. Each one has | a particular accomplishment that this | world invariably 'tacks' to his name. | He is pleased, of course, to possess | this one accomplishment but, rest as- sured, he secretly wonders if it can be | the sum total of his attraction. So I | try to discover some other quality. I find if he has the virtue of dressing well-then I also discover some inn
 mensely clever remark of his. I make a point of mentioning it to him.
 "If, on the other hand, he is clever, then I particularly admire certain suit of clothes, or the fashion in his ties. If he dances well, then I find that
 he has made some good business deals
 Be perfectly sure, my dear, he will
 think you vastly more appreciatiye
 than any other woman, and the un-
 defined gratitude he feels at the bright
 side of himself you have reflected back
 brings you many delightful atten- tion." And she concluded: "This is not
 hypocrisy in me, not silly vanity in
 him. I love to be treated after that
 manner myself, and my gratitude is equal to the man's."
 A third point is to remember, if pos
 sible, what a man talked most interest | ingly or earnestly to you about the
 last time you met. It shows interest Il in a most subtitle way. Naturally this
 is no easy task if the lapses between
 visits are long and you meet goodly
 number of men. But if it is possible
 to remember the result will prove it's
 wisdom. AS you once said" has a penetrating charm for the listener, be
 it man or woman. It is useless to de-
 ny that for human nature the first
 person singular is the most agreeable
 conjugation in grammar. And this
 brings up a final bit of advice which is
 one of the we'll known arts of conver-
 sation-paradoxical as it may seem
 be a patient sympathetic listener. For
 it is essentially true that he who proves
 you a clever talker by his attention will
 impress you more with his cleverness