The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-01-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A CIVIL tongue - d DOOcOl "O"PO&
than bowie knife.-Ram Horn.
That Mexican kidnapped Texas
cook to marry her is indication that
the Greasers are to form union
Cleveland Plaindealer
Not only can a woman laugh inf
her sleeve, but so can her whole fam
ily and there's room for the neigh
bors. Topeka (Kan.) Journal.
-"Dapper is what l call regular.
dummy" Great Caesar! He talks all
the time Il know, but look at the
new suits he displays Inter Ocean.
Mrs Houser (envious)-'f Won
der why it was called Paradise" Hou-
Ser (emphatic)-"Be Because there was
only one woman in it, of course. ~
Buffalo Courier.
-Jacl1-'If l happen to meet Misc
Terry I'll speak a good word for you. I
Tom-'Do; speak of me as beautiful
and brainy, but unuttera bly, bad. IN
Y. Herald. I
Of what benefit are brothers? When
they are little they are torment, AND
when they grow old enough to be Of
use to their sisters, other girls borrow
them.-Atchison Globe.
Monkeys have a peculiar dread Of
snakes. 1t is certainly natural that
they should. The first woman on earth
was led to make a monkey of herself
by snalze,-N. o. Pieayune.
THE flea is hated by mankin(
worse than any other insect-and ds
you know why?" Haven't the slight
est idea" Because it makes them
scratch for living. "A tlanta Consti-
tuition.
-Manager-''De Circassian girls in
a peck O. trouble!" Living Skeleton
Flows that?'' "She married de two
headed boy yesterday, an dey arrested
her fer bigamy dis mornin' boston
Traveller.
-"Of all persons the cross-eycd man
should be the least blamed for con-
firmed skepticism." SHOULD, eh? And
why?" Because he knows he can't
believe more half he sees, let alone
what he hears buffalo Courier.
-Cashley-''What could you do, my
poor mani" Beggar-'Might stand
around in the parlor when ye'a d com
pany-' You? What for?' 'Male
'em think as We wuz entertainin' a
furrin nobleman." -Clevelaud Plain
Dealer.
Officer McGobb-"An' is the har-rd
tonnes atfectin' your bushes ahny?"
Hungry Higgins-''ls it affectin' me
business? Is it? wy dey's gettin' to
! be so many amatoors in it da5 de legit
don't stand no show at all. indian
| apolis Journal.
-Mudge-"Fellow called me a liar
last night Yabsley-''Whtd did you
! do?" Mudge-'Well, he weighed about
200 pounds SO just told lin that I
recognized his right as an American
citizen to free expressionof opinion,
and let it go at that. indianapolis
| Journal.
| Dusty Rhodes-'I hada private box
at food exhibit this afternoon" Fitz
INFLAMMATION did you come to get
it?" Dusty Rhodes-'I was looking in
a restaurant window to see aman make
wheat cakes and policeman stepped
| up and gave 1T to me. kate Field s
| Washington.
She is going, to marry him after
d, --9- Where did it come
from?" Nobody knows" Is she con.
tent to marry him knowing nothing
about where he got his money!" ''She
knows all she wants to know; she
knows he has got it. IN. Y. Press
docs yer believe in ha nts?" asked
Uncle Eben's niece. ''Um-er-it ponds
ON whit yer mean by ha'nts," replied
the old man. Il means de quar- things
dat hangs roun' ole worn out homes. -
"Ies, honey, | b'lieves in 'em. oncet
| picked up yer ole WORKOUT home in de
shape oh hornets nes'. An de way
dat place was ha' nted was bout de mos
mazinest ting l ebber did see.''-
| Washington Star.