Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1894-01-25

posed about his person in manner that
would have done credit to the kings
conjurer
"And now," said he, as he laid his
booty on the ground, "we will light
fire in the stove.
"What stove?" exclaimed my ances-
tor in amazement.
"I'll show you," replied Aimless,
show necessity can create out of ap-
parently the most incongruous mate
1ials satisfactory base burning, self
feeding and self regulating Sunshine
range and heater combined, warranted,
likewise, to save fuel and reduce the
cost of living by one-half. "
Speaking thus, he took the warriors
iron body piece and placed it upon sew
eral stones in an upright position. In
a few minutes he had attached the arm
pieces, thus constructing stovepipe,
and filling the contrivance with leaves
and wood in less than quarter Of an
hour he had merry fire blazing there
in. Filling the helmet with water, he
placed it upon the opening in the armor
for the knights neck and left it to boil,
while he prepared the chickens. These
he put in the pot with the potatoes to
boil. Then, taking the knights shirt
of chain he drove four stakes in the
ground at equal distances and suspended
the garment in such manner that
when he had lighted fire beneath it
served as a gridiron to broil the porker
upon.
"Now," said Aimless as he removed
the porker from the gridiron, and plac-
ing it upon my ancestors shield began
to carve it with his sword, "just
spear them poultry and taters outen the
pot, will yer, and we'll begin the ban
quet." My ancestor fshed out the
chickens and potatoes, and they fell to.
"a couple of perfectos would just fin
ish this about right" said Aimless,
with sigh, as he lay back against a
tree for awhile.
Then he filled the stove with more
firewood and said:
we'll keep that going all night and
snooze right alongside of it" which
they did.
In the morning they warmed over the
remnants of the feast and proceeded on
their way. AS they neared my ances-
tors castle, Walker began to muse, as
one who meditates putting up job,
but the warrior did not perceive it, as
he was busy pushing the wheelbarrow.
Suddenly Walker broke out:
''Strikes me, my lord, that it were an
unseemly entrance to your city that
you make. Perchance 'twere wiser
to resume your metallic togs and go In
in some style
My ancestor assented to this, and with
the pilgrim's help entered his armor,
and Walker fastened the combination
lock.
Then the base, ignoble churl rapidly
trundled the supine and hapless knight
to an obscure street in the lowest and
most questionable part of my ances-
tors town, down near the river, and
opening his visor gagged him with
piece of cloth, which he tore off the tail
Of his new coat of arms.
Chuckling with fiendish glee, he then
proceeded until he came to the junk
shop of William Slathers, afterward
Earl Slathers, the first of what became
a noble English family. and there he
sold the armor and weapons, my ances-
tor included, as old iron at s cents
pound.
He then decamped.
Slathers, in examining his bargain a
little later, discovered concealed with
in the person of his liege lord. Between
the shock of finding him thus and re-
alizing that he had been bunkoed into
buying 125 pounds of my ancestor as
old iron, he almost lost his mind.-Walt
McDougal in New York World.