The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1894-08-15
SOLDIERS BUDGET.
An Old Soldiers Confession.

In number of years of active SER.
vice during the war;" said an old SOL
der recently, &" must confess in all
honesty that my bosom never swelled
with the enthusiasm of heroes that you
hear so much about. On the contrary
| experienced more fear than anything
else. always did my duty, but am
forced to believe that the feelings l had
when drawn up in line of battle were
shared by my companions, who never
dared to acknowledge them. Facing
large body of men with guns, and not
knowing what moment one of them will
send ball through you, is not situa-
ton to make man feel exultant. In
my case / was always ready and willing
to turn and run, only waiting for some
one to make the start. How often
when about to enter battle do l re-
member soliloquizing: Now, if this
fellow next to me would only make
start, how thankful l would be- But
pride and sense of duty will hold men
together. AS l said, l have not the
least doubt that many men felt just as
l did, no matter how they may talk
now. And, when you consider that we
always stood our ground, it shows how
strongly pride can influence our &C
tions. / remember once, while our
cavalry troops were out upon skirmish,
we took vantage position upon hill
that rose out of a plain. From there
we could see the enemy gradually sur
rounding US. This to one of my tenn
permanent caused extreme nervousness.
When there was but a small opening
remaining at one point and that slowly
being closed, / went to the command
ing officer and suggested that he had
better order retreat while such
thing was possible. He refused to do
it, saying that he was going to stand his
ground. l knew this was sure death,
and would have readily put spurs to my
horse and ridden to safety had not my
sense of duty and pride impelled me to
remain with my officer. He was sitting
on his horse calmly taking in the Sit
uation, when L came to him second
time to make the suggestion. But
did not have to speak. Providence did
my work for me in manner that pre-
vented argument. The bullets, were
flying about thick and fast, and just as
/ was about to address the officer a
stray one struck him in the wrist of the
hand which held the reins. The ball
shattered the bone and the reins dropped
from the helpless hand Before the
officer could recover the reins with his
other hand the horse bolted, and,
strangely, started on dead run for the
one place which offered a way of es-
cape. 1t was my duty to follow the Of
ficer, and it was the most cheerful duty
| found during the war. l spurred my
horse and soon was at his heels. We
got away all right, but the company of
cavalrymen on the hill were with few
exceptions captured and sent to Ander-
sonville prison, and but a small per-
centage ever came out alive. That is
how runaway horse saved my life. 1
never went into action without dread
and fear of death. This may be looked
upon as the stamp of coward, yet
hardly think it is fair to give such a
name to person who never shirked
duty. To me the brave man is not the
one who recklessly, without though
plunges into the thick of battle, but
rather the man who, while realizing the
danger and approaching the uncertainty
of life, still keeps to the path of duty."-
PITTSBURGH Dispatch.