The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-05-05
PIANO..

Some of the neighbors complained
Of the noise his exercises made and
told him about il. Now he thinks il
fun to practise. II Boston Gazette.
CONSOLATION.
The young lady at the piano was
playing a difficult selection from
Wagner. In the midst Of it all she
suddenly stopped in confusion.
What's the matter?" inquired one
OF the company.
II struck false note" she re-
piled.
well, what OF it?" aid another.
Nobody but Wagner would ever
know it, and he's dead. Go ahead
with the music"
And she went ahead.-[Chicago
Tribune.
CONVERSATIONAL DIFFICULTY.
Don't you like Professor Think
ins! !" asked one girl.
"Oh, dear, mol" replied the other
girl. Hes so fatiguing."
"He has the reputation of being
very brainy."
That's just the trouble. When
he talks you have to listen to what
he is saying, or you can't reply
to his remarks. = Washington Star.
WAS APT TO ExAGGERATE.
Smith-Hopkins told me that his
wife had been run over by coach
and seriously injured.
Jones-You can't believe what
Hopkins says, he is such a braggart.
I'll bet it was only delivery wagon.
-[Texas Siftings.
QUEER EXCUSE.
"See here, Postman, my name,
Hoffman, has two rs, and yet you are
continually bringing me letters adj
dressed to some Holman with only
one (. >"
That only happens on Saturday
nights, sir. You see, / and a
few friends have little party every
Saturday evening, and, of course,
when | deliver the last mail I'm apt
to see DOUBLE Fliegende Blatter.
MAKES A DIFFERENCE.
Harry-And, dearest, do you think
of me all day long?
Dearest did; Harry; but the
days are getting longer now, and of
you know that must
make some diferen e. [Pearson's
Weekly.
A MISUNDERSTANDING.
Servant-Mr. Greatman is at home,
gentlemen. ! am to show you up.
Mr.. Tim McDoolan, Zone of the
rising politicians of the ward)--Ye are,
hey? By large, if that's his game,
We'll take hand We can show
him up thunderin' sight worse'n
you can shew us up
Exit, slamming the door. i Chi
cago Tribune.
EVERY CLUBwoMAN WANTS AN OFFICE.
Mr.. Sarcas (reading the prospectus
of the Ladies Mental improvement
Club, to which his wife belongs)-
Twenty Nice-Presidents Why,
you've only got a membership OF
twenty-three
Mrs. Sarcas-Yes; but, you see,
there weren't enough of the other Of
fees to 60 around.-[Chicago Record.
DOING HER DUTY.
| saw her at the village pump,
Beside the broken wall;
/ heard the handle creak and thump,
| saw the water fall.
She placed the pail upon her head,
And as she passed me by,
"I've just been milking, sir" she
said,
And winked the other eye.
-[Pick-Me-Up.
HER FAvoRITE FLOWER.
He asked her fav rite flower;
Her tastes he quite forgot,
And thought in that sweet hour
Shed say "Forget-me-not."
He asked her fav rite flower
All sad the story told;
A mai1 without a DOVER
She answered: "Mari-gold."
= Puck.
RISKING GUESS.
Teacher-In which Of his battles
was Gen. Custer killed?
Numskull (after refection)-I be-
lieve it was in his last Brooklyn
Life.
FOND MOTHER.
Dear mel" cried the nurse. 1.-The
baby has swallowed my railroad
ticket. What shall | do?'
Go and buy another right away" "
returned the mother. I'm not going
to have the baby punched. - Har-
per's Bazaar.
TROUBLESOME CHILDREN.