Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1894-01-25
TWICE EMBARRASSED
THE ONLY TIMES IN A CHEEKY MANS
CAREER WHEN NERVE VANISHED.

Public and His Second In Private, but
In the Latter Situation Was Confusion
Worse Confounded.
have never been really and genuinely
embarrassed but twice in my life.
have been close to it many time, but
my training as a travelling man and a
naturally cheeky disposition has always
saved me, excepting these two times.
The first time happened many years
ago. had more hair on the top of my
head then, more self confidence and far
less experience. 1t happened during
some school commencement exercises in
the town hall of the little place where 1
lived. l had to deliver an Grafton that
night. 1t was 'Spartacus." Every boy
knows it and has been thrilled by it.
The whole town population and the
country for miles around were there. So
was my sweetheart and all her folks.
The town hall had a regulation stage,
and in the center Of thai stage and near
the front was trapdoor. Inever knew
this trapdoor to be used, but it was
there, and underneath was dark space
used for storing old broken chairs, di-
lapidated scenery and wrecked furniture
of every description.
On this night in question somebody
had weakened the underpinning Of this
door. / never knew who did it, and If
found out at this late day even would
kill him. came out in all the glory of
Sunday clothes-a starched shirt and
tight shoes sand began telling without
tremor how Lentulus, returning with
victorious eagles, had amused the popu-
lation of old Capua and how the little
band Of gladiators gathered that night
in the forsaken arena. At this point
began the speech of Spartacus.
With right arm appraised 1 shouted,
eye call me chiefr' and stepped square
on that fatal trapdoor Down went
like piece Of lead on the end Of a plumb
line, and the audience rose. 1 thrashed
around in the dirt and debris, half
stunned, for few moments, but could
find no way out. They finally fshed me
out up through that hole again. was
covered with dirt and cobwebs, my
clothes were torn, and my temperance
was the signal for wild applause. can
state honestly and feelingly that was
embarrassed. No boy has ever spoken
''Spartacus" in that town since. The rec
objection of my effort has always been
too much.
Bad as this was, my second experience
was worse. 1t happLied short time
ago. The memory of it is so recent that
my blood hasn't recovered yet from the
chill went through. l have very init
mate friend who has a young lady ac-
quaintance in certain city. We can
call her Miss Green. But that is not her
name. Ny friend is a fine young man,
but as careless and thoughtless as a but
terfy. had to visit this city of which
I speak, and my friend insisted on my
calling on Miss Green and taking let
~ trIbI octuCuiOIT. atslrr-v H.,
the idea Of being introduced in that
way and said so. But my friend was
so anxious that 1 weakly gave in and
departed, bearing letter to Miss Green.
And, as found out afterward, neither
inside nor outside of this letter did my
friend use her first name.
The evening after my arrival put on
my best and costliest raiment, rehearsed
number of my best sayings and started
out. Miss Green lived in the very best
part of town. Her residence evidently
belonged to people more than well to do.
To the servant who opened the door |
gave the letter, asking if Miss Green was
at home. She was. was ushered into
parlor, and the inside of the house
showed more than the outside that was
in the home of people of wealth and re-
inement. began tn feel that awe that
strangers amid strange surroundings al
ways feel, when door opened and the
prettiest girl ever saw came into the
room. arose and bowed. She stood
moment irresolutely, and a faint blush
came over her face. She had my letter
in her hand also, remember. Soon she
spoke. Twill never forget her voice. 1t
was clear as silver bell.
'Mr. Bee," she said, II have no doubt
but that it would be pleasant to have
you among my acquaintance, but really
do not know your friend who has writ
ten his letter. He is a stranger to me-"
Talk about being knocked down with
feather. A piece Of down from hum
ming birds wing would have hoored me.
Hot and cold streaks ran over me like a
fash. while the perspiration in drops like
marbles came out on my forehead. |
was embarrassed and wild with rage at
the trick that had been played. thought
in an instant that here is this pretty, re-
fined and modest girl, who thinks that
1 have seen her somewhere and adopted
such subterfuge to become acquainted
with her. 1 don't know how ever es-
capped from that house, but did, and if
had been in reach Of the writer Of that
letter that night there would have been
an immediate row.
The next day the blacklist negro out of
Africa brought me little note. The
note said terrible mistake had been
made. My letter had been intended for
sister who knew my friend very well.
The sister had been out when called,
and as there was nothing in the letter to
distinguish which Miss Green was meant
the recipient took it to herself, and be-
ing somewhat embarrassed and confused
hadn't thought Of its not being Str her,
and then, too, Mr.. Bee left SO suddenly
that she had hardly time to collect what
little thought she had, and wouldn't /
please call that evening?
l did call. But on the evening when
first saw Miss Green and heard her speak
/ was distinctly and emphatically en-
barrassed as l never had been before
st, Louis Globe-Democrat.