Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-08-05
LITTLE THINGS FOR LITE ONES.

Doctor, Ito Gilbert aged four)-Put
out your tongue, dear.
Sick little Gilbert feebly protruded
the tip of his tongue.
Doctor-No. no; put fright out.
The little fellow shook his head
weakly. and the tears gathered In MS
eyes.
81 can't doctor, it's fastened on to
me-"
sit wasn't her eatin' the apple afore
that me man." remarked Emily, the
ten-year-old tenant OF the Ash aiiey
tenement. as sob broke from her
throat. ut was her otferln' me the
core wen the entire avnoo was looKln
o."
A teacher In a public school was la.
boring with an urchin in the art OF
simple division. This is what came OF
it:-"Now, Billy, If you had an orange
which you wish to divide with your
little brother. how much would you
give him?" Billy reflected an instant
and said "a suck"
Aunt Surplice-How peacefully still
and solemn it always is on Sunday"
Little Nephew es'm; that's be-
cause so many children's papss is at
home.
Dora-Papa said we mustn't en-.
courage tramps. because one tells oil
the rest.
Clara-I couldn't help it, be looked
so starved.
What did you give him?"
"Half cream puff and some chewing
gum"
Teacher-What did You mean, sir, by
speaking of me as "aud old cow?"
Bad Boy-.Please, only meant that
you is the "boss."
Teacher-Johnny, didn't hear you
talking awhile ago with some other boys
about Gee Wash?
Johnny-Yes'm
Teacher-Well, I wish you would
tell me who Gee Wash is.
Johnny (surprised)-Don't you know
who he is?
Teacher-I think never heard OF
him before.
Johnny-Gosh! Why, G. Wash. is
George Washington, the papa OF his
country; first in -
Tea:her-Oh-ah-y but / thought
at first he was Chinese laundryman.
Johnny had been studying his SPELL
ing lesson and learning definitions, par
ticularly of words with pretixes from
the Greek; He had defined monologue
as a soiloquY or lone man taking to
himself"
Now what is conversation between
two persons?" asked his teacher.
"A dialogue"
"And between more than two per-
sons?'
"a pollywog," answered Johnny
promptly.
Mother-I told you to give your sis
ter half Of that apple, aud you have
eaten it all yourself.
Small SOM offered IL to her, and
she sucked at it a little and then pushed
it away.
"She says you didn't"
"Oh, you mean that sister, l thought
YOU meant the baby"
Mauma-Why didn't you 90 and do
the errand / told you to?
Ffeddie-I wanted to sit here and see
the company that's coming to Mrs
Smiths.
"How do you know there is any com
ing?"
II saw Robbie wash his hands."
Metaphors are ike fireworks; they
are ornamental. but they need careful
handling.
"The minister says ne had nice chat
with you down tho street this after
noon" said Mrs. Henderson to her
Youthful son Amos.
ga nice chatp answered Amos, "All
the bows had gone down TO the pond for
p swim. and he kept me there almost
ten minutes. put on pleasant race
| guess. l tried TO, anyhow; but was
on pins and needles all the time behind
my back"
A little fellow had been seriously
lectured by his mother and final y sent
into the garden to find switch vita
which he was TO be punished. de re-
turned soon and said:-"I could not
find a switch, mamma, but here's
stone you can throw at me.
A little boy, after helping hImselI
several times to water. finally upset the
glass, upon which his mother exclaimed
impatienty:-
my son, knew you were going to do
that"
"WelI. mother, II you had only told
me in time | would not have done it,"
said the boy.
Mother-Johuny! Johnny! What are
YOU hitting that little boy for?
Johnny-'Cause the boy that lives
next door TO him's been maxim faces at
a friend OF mine. I'm goin' to get even
with somebody fur it, by crackyi
rupprSnNFO pY HER OWN WILL