The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-05-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

II is seldom difficult to appear nat
ural when you have no desire to
please Puck.
Paddy's latest feat was to pawn his
gun, preparatory to a days shooting,
in order to buy cartridges. London
Truth.
There is plenty of room at the top,
but there isn't enough for one-tenth of
the people who think they ought to be
there. Puck.
The peace maker is commendable
character, but he is not esteemed by
the fellow who is getting the best OF
the fight. Puck.
The part of mans salary that he
usually doesn't spend il the part be
would receive if he were getting what
he is worth. Puck.
"Galton had his lawn mower stolen
last night. Great Caesar What
lucky fellow he has always been. -
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Speaking of bereavement, Jones af-
firms that no death ever affected him
SO sadly as that of his wifes first hus-
band. Salem Gazette.
Two words sometimes make n long
sentence. For instance, when the
Judge remarks TO the prisoner:
Twenty years. Truth.
You may speak rs you will of pedi-
gree generally, but in sleeping car
II is mans berth which raises him
above his fellow passengers.
An exchange tells "how to make
fountain pen work satisfactorily"
Another way is to give it To one of
your enemies. Texas Siftings.
There il that in woman's disposi-
tion that induces her to give anything
she has to the poor, providing they
will use it her way. .-Atchison Globe.
kissed her n dozen times last night,
And now II makes me- sore
To think that II I'd only stayed,
might have had one more.
A woman's idea of loyalty is TO loan
her best silverware TO n neighbor who
is giving party, and say nothing
when she hears it praised. -Atchison
C-obe.
vacX-"Whst SOFT o. girl is shep'
Jim-"Oh, she is e mss with a mis-
sion" "Ah And her mission II
seeking man with mansion. -
Spare Moments.
The lightning flashed, the lightning crashed,
The skies were rent asunder,
With shrek and wall loud blow the gale,
And then IL rained like thunder
Puck.
Willy Wilt-"Do you know, ! fancy
] have quite literary bent Van
Dommitt right, my boy; keep
on and you'll be worse than bent
you'll he broke. Puck.
Mudge--"E Miss Laura, hope
am not talking too much about my
self" Miss Laura-"Oh, no. You
have 60 be talked about by somebody,
of courses indianapolis Journal.
No wonder the modest violet
Drops shyly out OF sight
II IL hears all the poems
People about IL write.
Chicago Inter-O cedn.
Housekeeper- you sure that
this tea isn't half copperas" Dealer
(convincingly)- eve couldnt afford
TO sell copperas at the extremely low
price we charge for this tea, mt am.
New York Weekly.
L1Enfant Terrible Have you got
another face?" Mrs. Homeleigh 80
"No, dear; why do You ask" LEN
fant Terrible -" Mamma said you are
two-faced but thought Il you had
another one, you wouldn't wear that
one. london It'd Bits.
In the gloaming. iny darling.
Where the nights are six months long,
II stayed TIL Midnight darling.
Would you think that IL was wronyl
Would you work zoe old gags on ~
Would you murmur, soft AMI loy,
That might DO late Tor breakfast.
or the clock vas six weeks slow,
Detroit free Press.
Teacher--"Now, Johnnie, you may
tell MS this: Suppose your mother had
told you TO come home at five O'Clock,
and you did not go; what would you
De doinR?" Johnnie-'1 don't know
whether it would be swimmin' or
playin' baseball " 80 Chicago Inter
Ocean.
What have you named your Aw
boy?" "William. ] wanted TO get
name that would be sure TO fit. 81
don't quite catch" why, don't you
see, il he grows up to be a real nice.
good kind of young man he will be
called Willie, and if he should happen