Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1894-04-29

swear. Of courDe. What consolation has
he when his only match goes out?--verfiy,
the sweet relief OF burning annthemas.
What brings peace to his wounded heart
when the other fellow gets the giril-
Why, nothing more or less than Billings
gate. What lulls his drowsy soul to sium-
ber when the infant waketh In the Night
and the atmosphere quiyers with juvenile
expostuiations?-Why simply a multitude
OF brief, concise expressions beginning
with d. great big d. and ending
with an awful dash>
What can heal the sting OF defeat wnen
the home team gets walioped at pase-
ball7-yerily, naught on earth by swear
Ing. much swearing. What soothes the pain
when the hammer smites not the tack
but whacks the unsuspecting thumb!-
Why bless me, no balm Of earth but
beautiful language. soft and sweet.
And so 1 say the question should be set
tied. and settled at once. 1t Is case OF
"cpss' or quit, instead OF "cuss and quit
ana once for all ! want to nave my
doubts removed. Carry the question to
the Supreme Court OF Appeals, II nec-
ess.ry, but settle II, and settle II ior
good.
They say that George Washington never
swore but once. but on that occasion ne
caiised the very leaves on the trees 10
or .er when once he broke aloose, ana
history records the fact that he made up
f,- lost time. and let himself aloose TOT
all the preceding years OF his life. and
ne. saps also for some that were TO fol-
low. l must frankly confess that never
he ri of single occasion where General
La 80 far forgot himself as to use ex-
nlstiyes, but ] was recently told OF an IN
~ nee where the grand, good Confederate
aj'pened TO run across ragged old
E,,el, who was making things hum with
r's oaths.' "Marse Bob expostulated with
Is hungry sinner. and told him that
s-s,aring was against his orders, but the
o.. chap took the chieftain's breath away
Ts en- he answered: "Damn, me. General.
81 you expect to get all the cardinal viz
tees for eleven dollars a month";
~ the way, that Is truly touching
Estle story they tell on Lee In connection
n old Captain -, OF Goochland.
n.ha Captain himself voucheS for IT, SO
,5.hre is no reasonable ground FOR doubt
20 was at Gettysburg with his battery Of
a tillery, and was literally tearing the
s.ankees to pieces. His guns were on q
u .le elevation, and he had an open sweep.
ssi:ich gave him chance to NOW down
he blue-coatS Dy tne hundredS. just as
,le last round OF ammunition had been
hausted, and even as the Captain urged
lie boys to road up once more with old
,,is, hoopskirts. and everything avail
role, General Lee dashed up on his
.,am-necked steed. who's captain OF
tiis battery?" he yelled out. In a voice
Trembling with emotion, and when the
heroic commandant Of the cannoneers sa-
iItcd. the sweet Christian warrior said
IN agitated tones: For Gods sake, Cap
tain, don't shoot any more. Spare few
of them, or history won't do US justice
Leave dozen or so to tell their SAD
ftory." The Captain excitedly replied:
''For phys sake. let me bust aloose at
them just once more, General"
This enthusiasm and patriotism on the
part of the artilleryman so inspired the
Virginia chieftain that he said. In tremu-
lous tones, Captain. don't call me Gene
rail- call me Bob
THE IDLE REPORTER.