The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1894-01-11
a LARGE AND JUICY FOOL.
nut He Knows n Deal More About GnIne
pips Than He nh

rigs bAus
81 have just come in from the country"
said the young man with the fall style
derby, "and succeeded In making a large
aud juicy fool Of myself almost every day
while ! was there ! staid with an uncle
Of mine who has farm lG or IL miles from
nowhere, aud the Reubens got the laugh on
me 50 many times that can't remem Der
the number.
THE queerest experience that had.
though, was at one Of their county fairs.
They held the fair early this year, for some
reason or other, and ! was on hand 10 take
1t in. ] went out TO the grounds with
party OF young women who were visiting
in the neighborhood, and undismayed by
the failure Of my former efforts to string
the rustics / started out to have fun with
them as soon as we struck the grounds.
We walked around for a couple Of hours,
and i was polSing all manner Of fun at the
people we met. Finally we came to the
shed where the poultry was on exhibition,
and as we went along looking at the yari-
ously bred chickens, got particularly fun
ny. At the end OF one of the rows Of coops
was box with five or six guinea pigs in il.
There were quite number of countrymen
standing around looking at the queer little
animals.
1--WE walked over and looked at the
pigs. Then l said loudly, DO you know
that If you pick up a guinea pig by the
tail its eyes will drop outY' The country
men stared Fact | continued. Pick
one of them up by the tail, and its eyes will
drop right out Most queerly constructed
anatomically Of any animal known to nat
uralists. II these pigs were mine, would
soon show you.
"A big, strapping fellow who stood be.
side the box said, Stranger, don't believe
you ! insisted that was right, but be
stood and doggedly shook his head, and the
rest of the countrymen sided with him.
Now, guinea pig has no tail, and there is
where the joke comes in. | argued for
some little time and then made grand
buf. pulled out Il little roll Of bills and
offered to bet the Reuben S25 that Just
that thing would happen. Imagine my
surprise when the Reuben hauled greasy
old pocketbook out Of his jeans and Gov
cred the money | was sure had him, for
the bet was Il catch one anyhow. and as the
young women who were with me were egg
ing me on couldn't think of 1unkng.
nderstand, said, i claim that IL
you pick up that guinea pig by its tail its
eyes will drop ont
i understand said the countryman, as
ne opened II little door IN the side of the
box and pulled out a guinea pig. Now
pick this one up and let's see its eyes drop
out
Then began to laugh. 'Ha, my friends
| said, 1 have played "A little trick on you;
that's all. As n guinea pig has no tail you
can't pick one up by it. If you could do
not doubt that its eyes would drop out
II reached out for my half of the bet,
when the big countryman said: 'Hol on
there, mister You jist look an see If this
here guinea pig haint got a tail exam
ined it, and may be switched il 1t didn't
have tail an inch long. The countryman
picked it up by the little caudal appendage,
and of course its eyes didn't drop out.
Then he reached over, grabbed the wad of
money and put it in his pocket, remarking
the while, 4 didn't think when developed
that breed of guineas that they would ever
make that much for me-
'l'll be blamed If he hadn't been work
ing for three years to produce guinea pigs
with tailsi He had succeeded, and was
chump enough to go up against the only
cage of that kind of animals in the world
with my chestnut about their eyes dropping
out"-Buffalo Press.