Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1894-08-10

WYE
Let De An Laugh.
MANY q man ia living an honest
life who wouldn't IL the Jail were fur.
cher od.-Ram's Horn.
LITTLE Dor-whyd do you pray 60
loud for things you want? God isn't
deaf. Little Dick-No, but grandpa
ts.-Life.
sHARDuP-Hello, Charlie! Your
trousers bag at the knees. Dedbroke
II wish they banged at the pocket
bsok!-Truth.
1RATE FATHER-When I die. I
shall leave you without q penny.
Calm Son-Certainly. You can't take
money along, you know.-Truth.
BOSTON girl-Do you know, 1 fancy
heaven will be much like Boston.
Chicago gir.-Whyy Because there
won't be men enough to go around
Life.
W1FEY-The proof Of the pudding
Is In the eating. The brute-I know;
but l think scientific research has
already numbered enough martyrs
Truth.
GUIDE-Now you will have to be
careful; many a tourist has broken
his neck at this spot. Gent Ito his
wife)-Augusta, you go tirst.-Spare
Moments.
"G1BBs is a great lawyer. His Cross
examination always embarrasses a
witness. "How does he do it?" ASKS
IL each statement made in direct ex-
animation is rue."-Truth.
THERE'S a friend down stairs
waiting for you; says he wants you
/ only for a minute" Mr.. Catchon-
Here, James, take this ten dollars
and keep it until I come back
Fun.
NELLIE-Why do you send out your
wedding invitations so far in advance?
Millie-Many Of our friends keep
their money in savings banks. and
have to give notice.-New York
Weekly.
MRS. SuBuRB-Why in the world
don't you grease that lawn-mower of
yours? Neighbours Hired Man
The missus told me not to till YOU
had your piaDer tuned.-New York
Weekly.
Shelf every atom Of the human
body is renewed every even years, I
cannot be the same woman that you
married. He-I've been suspecting
that for some time.-New York
Weekly.
"NoT1CE Lushley at the BANQUET
last night? Seemed to enter into the
spirit of the thing freely" sEr-
yes; but not so freely as the spirits of
the thing entered into him. Buffalo
Courier.
SHE-Here's a bill from the doctor.
He-What's it for? Ethel know,
mamma. Doctor spoke cross to me
yesterday on the street. and I stuck
out my tongue at im.-Yonkers
Statesman.
DEACON GRAvELE1GH-Do you be-
licve in infant damnation, Mr.. Pop
leigh? Popleigh (who has spent most
of the night doing a ghost dance with
his Observation-Disclosures bet I
do!-Truth.
WHY" asked the boarder at the
head OF the table, "are ham and eggs
always associated together" That"
remarked the very bad actor, eager
ly, "is just what l would like to
know. detroit Tribune.
NAUGHTY LADY (who has just pur.
chased a stamp)-sMust I put it on
MYSELF" Postofice Assistant livery
politely)-"Not necessarily, madam;
it will probably accomplish more ii
you put it on the letter. "-Newark
Ledger.
PATRoN-Waiter, waiter! can't YOU
hurry up that steak? I've been watt
ing ten minutes. Waiter-Sorry,
Sir; but 1t takes five minutes to
pound it and seven to cook it. It
will be ready shortly.-Arkansaw
Traveller.
BoY-It's awful lucky we have our
examinations for promotion now, in.
stead Of in the fall when the schoo,
opens. Father-Why? Boy-'Cause
when school begins in the fall we
none of us ever know ANYTHING
Good News.
HE-Do you think, darling, that it
would be advisable for me to speak
to your father to-day? She-Well,
hardly. dearest. He remarked this
morning that the flre-crackers YOU
gave my little brother woke him up
at 3 O'Clock.
WILL1s-When my wife makes me
a present it is surf to be something
that will last. Wallace-My wife is
just like her. Five years ago she
made me a present of one hundred
cigars, and I have ninety-nine of
them yet.-Life.
W1LL1E-Say, papa, can't 1 have a
dollar for some more flre.crackersY
Slimson-But I let you have IS this
morning. Willie-I know it. But 1
used them all up on mammals pet
dog. Slimson-Here, my boy, take
SIS mOre.-Life.
DAsHAwAY-Here's a telegram an
nouncinR that nv uncle IL dead. T,va