davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
One on Joe Bailey.

Senator Perry J. Lewis tells story on
Congressman Joe Bailey, for which, how
ever, he quotes Senator A. M. Carter OF
Fort Worth as authority.
Zone day." said Lewis, Garter and
Joe Bailey were standing on the stree
when they saw approaching them 4
darby mounted on frisky and spirited
horse, whose fine appearance caught the
fancy of Carter, who is lover of fine
horsefesh. Carter hailed the darby and
remarked
"That's pretty spirited animal you
are riding, old man. Is he a good run
ner?'
"'Well, no, sab, he isn't much Of a
runnin boss, replied the rider.
"'Oh, then he is a good trotter, I sup.
pose,' remarked Carter.
"'No, sab, he amt no trotter neither,
said Scipio Africanus.
"'Oh, 1 see, calculated Carter; he is q
No. PAGER
"'No, sab, dis boss amt no trotter
nor he amt no PAGER needer.'
"'Well, what is he fit for anyhow
asked Carter.
"'Just ter prance aroun an look fine
boss replied the darby, AN OATS why
has outen a accomplishment named him artel
Marse Joe Bailey dar.'" - Galveston
News,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Miss RusseIps Fondness For Poker.

I am informed that one reason of the
little rift within the Perugini lutte con-
sisted in Miss Russell's prediction for
poker. This is science to which the
golden diva has devoted much study.
She likes game of poker and plays it
on the strict rules laid down by Gen
eral Schenck. Her parties for this di-
version are usually composed of four or
five people, each of whom is million
aire But Miss Russell's income aver
ages $50, 900, and she can afford to play.
The limit is high and the betting lively.
Signor Perugini, whose salary is only
$3.50 aweek, could not sit down at such
a game without risking his entire weeks
earnings. Consequently he was ruled
out and had to solace himself with SEN
timental arias up stairs while his wife
was winning or losing a fortune down
stairs. This isolation brought dis
quietude to his thoughts, and next morn
ing he was perhaps not SO cheerful a
companion as diva would wish at the
breakfast table. New York Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
WEAKNESS OF HUMAN NATURE

Eagerness Of People to Take Undue Ad-
vantage of a Practical Scheme.
"Do you remember me?" inquired the
man as he quietly slipped up to the city
editors desk.
II can't say that I do" replied the city
editor, looking him over carefully.
'eYou remember l was in here some
time ago giving policies of insurance on
punches of keys?"
"Oh, yes, l remember now. l took
one."
"Of course. All wise men do. At the
same time, if you recall it, / told you ]
had great scheme for insuring umbrel'
las on the same planF
II believe l do recall it. How did it
come outt"
The man threw up his hands hope
lessly.
"Well," he said, "before that week
was out l had my umbrella insurance
company at work, with agents all over
town. The success was immediate and
phenomenal. Everybody wanted to in.
sure his umbrella. The premium was 90
cents year. The amount to be paid to
persons returning lost umbrellas was "a
about the average price of an umbrella
q man doesn't like to lose, you know.
Agents turned in policies by the pocket
fuls the first week. I hadn't any idea
there were as many half dollars in circu.
lation as I received at my Office. Second
week they kept coming, and began to
think of plans for great building on
Woodward avenue for the accommoda-
ton of the business, to be known as the
Umbrella Insurance building. Third
week it was still going. Fourth week it
rained. Fifth week umbrellas began
coming in. didn't know there were SO
many umbrellas in the world.
Sixth week it was worse, and be-
gan to investigate. Watched the people
who brought them in and got the 50.
Mostly people above suspicion-to look
at. Discovered they had been stealing
them; always picked out one with our
tag ON it. Didn't know there were so
many people who thought it no sin to
steal an umbrella; never thought Of that
when | got up the company; wasn't an
umbrella in the lot worth SO; didn't
know SO many people wore cheap UNI
brellas; something rotten in Denmark.
Just come up here from my office; string
of people there reaching half way around
the block waiting to get in. There isn't
money enough left in the fund to buy a
ferry ticket with I've come here to see
if you won't lend me that amount. I'm
not going back, but 1 notice in the
paper that Mr.. Dingbat, the well
known president of the Umbrella Insur-
ance company, having been suddenly
called to China, left this morning by
way of Windsor and Quebec. Do 1 get
the price of a ferry ticket? Thanks"
And he went out, leaving the city editor
in condition of partial paralysis.
troit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

Physicians generally fail to recognize.
the Importance Of this fact, but treat tho
organ itself instead Of the cause Of the trouble
The noted specialist, Franklin Miles, M. D..
LII. b., has given the greater part Of his life
to the study OF this subject, and the principal
discoveries concerning 1t are due to his efforts.
DR.. Miles Restorative Nervine, the unri-
vailed brain and nerve food, is prepared on the
principle that all nervous and many other
difficulties originate from disorders OF the
nerve centers. It's wonderful success In curing
these disorders is testified to by thousands In
every part OF the land
Restorative Nervine cures sleeplessness,
nervous prostration, dizziness, hysteria, sex
ual debility, st. Vitus dance. epilepsy, etc. 1t
is free from opiates or dangerous drugs 1t
is sold on a positive guarantee by all drug
gists, or sent direct by the DR.. Miles Medical
Co, Elkhart, Ind, on receipt Of price, 81 per
bottle, six bottles for IS, express prepaid. =.
BY A. Ii kObEkIS.-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Good Work Guaranteed.
A TRIP TO CALIFORNIA.

THE GREAT Rock ISLAND ROUTE
is now running Tourist Car, leaving
Albert Lea every Monday Afternoon
on the Minneapolis & st. Louis wand
via Albert Lea, Livermore, Ft. Dodge
Angus, Des Moines, Omaha, Lincoln
Phillipsburgh and Pueblo, runs over
the Scenic and Ogden Routes to San
Francisco and Los Angeles.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

- =
vitality necessary to in
sure their health. The
pneumOgaStric nerve, as
shown here, may be said
to be the most important
Of the entire nerve sys-
TEN, as it supplies the
heart, lungs, stomach,
bowels, etc, with the
nerve force necessary to
keep them active and
healthy. AS will be seen
by the cut the long nerve
descending from t b o
base of the brain and
terminating in the bow
els is the pneumogastric.
while the numerous lit
tie branches supply the
heart, lungs and stom-'
ach with necessary vi
tally. When the brain
becomes in any way dis
ordered by irritability
or exhaustion, the nerve
force which 1t supplies
Is lessened, and the or
gans receiving the di-
minished supply are con-
San,,nptlv xVna xana6
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

"Be sure you get Ayers" is an i'm
portant caution to all in search of a
thoroughly reliable blood purifier
Ayers Sarsaparilla being the one on
which there can be no manner of doubt.
1t has stood the test o. nearly half a
century, and has long been considered
the standard.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

WANTED.-Eight or ten men to represent our
well known house In this state. Our large and
complete stock and various lines. such as nur-
fertilizers, ETC., ETC., enable to pay handsome
salaries TO even ordinary statesmen Wages run
from $500 to Sl25.00 per uIonth and expenses
according to material in the man. Apply quick,
stating age. l.. l.. LAY & Co st. Paul, Mimi.
(This house Is responsibility
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
A Mistaken idea.

She was reading over the column Of
marriage notices.
'It can't be true" she said, "that mar
riage is lottery"
"And why not?" asked the young man
with her.
Because there is law against adver-
Using lotteries, and look at this" she re-
piled, handing the paper to him. De-
troit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
The Human Electrical Forces !
How They Control the Organs
of the Body.

The electrical force of the human body, as
the nerve fluid may be termed, il an espe-
cially attractive department Of science, as 1t
exerts so marked an influence on the health
of the organs Of the body. Nerve force Is
produced by the brain and conveyed by
means Of the nerves to the various organs OF
IL, LIZ, hun Cllnnl wing the latter with tho
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

w. +. Bayes Of 24O5 Jones St., Omaha, Nebr.,
constitutionally wrecked for years. Tired
everything fruitlessly. My druggists persua-
sion backed by his guarantee, induced me to
are truly wonderful. Parks Sure Cure for tile
Liver and Kidneys is a positive specihce for the
diseases OF wOmen.-Sold by A. ii. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

PILES cured without Pain, Knife or hind
rance from business.
CANCER positively cured without pain or
use of knife by our new method.
MARRIAGE. Those contemplating mar
riage who are aware Of physical defects or
weakness which would render marriage disap-
pointment, would do well to call on us. !.
DISEASES OF MEN. Blood Poisoning,
Gonorrhea, elect, Structure, Syphilis, Hydro.
cele, Varicocele, Loss Of Manhood, Vital Drain
in Urine, Nocturnal Emission, Impaired Mem
DRY, Weak Back, Impotence, Loss of Memory,
and all diseases arising from Self-Abuse, are
successfully treated by our method.
LOSS OF MANHOOD and the evil effects Of
Abuses of Youth. AS the yawning graves swal-
low annually thousands of these innocent
victims, let us impress upon afflicted ones the
necessity of an immediate cure, as each hour
and every day lessons the chances Of your re-
covery, and is fastening you to that bourne
whence no traveller returns.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
RENEENEBER

This is Phillips Rock Island Tourist
Car, and is accompanied by Tourist
Conductor through to the coast, and
runs on the fastest trains, and a second
class ticket takes you in this car.
The rate for birth reservation is low
being only "a through to the Pacific
points and proportionately less for
points en- ronte, and there is no better
wac to take in the great Mid Winter
Fair. 70 those who cannot go on
Tuesdays the Great Rock Island Route
runs another Tourist car leaving Mimi
eapolis every Thursday morning, via
Albert Lea, Cedar Falls, Cedar Rapids
and Columbus Junction to Kansas
City, and on to Pueblo over the Scenic
Route and Southern Pacific runs to
San Francisco and Los Angeles.
For full particulars, address,
JOHN SEBASTIAN,
CT. A., G. r.. l. s. r. RY.,
Chicago.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

There is nothing in this world that
gives such perfect satisfaction for all blood dis
er. 1t dries up blotches and pimples on the
lace, heals old sores and eruptions, makes a vel
low skin clear and transparent and keeps the
bowels ana liver IN perfect condition. Sold and
warranted by A. III. Roberts
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

Seal p sores, fever, a'd dryness are
cured by Halls Vegetable Sicilian Hair
Remover
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
r. Is. BRAINARD,
- TT0RN & Y At LAM
AUDUBON. IOWA.
Office over Citizens Bank.
Cure for Headache.

As remedy for all forms of headache Electric
Bitters has proved to be the very best 1t effects
a permanent cnre and the most dreaded habitu-
al sick headache yields to its influence. We
urge al who are afflicted to procure bottle and
give this remedy fair trial. In cases of habitu-
al constipation Electric Bitters cures by giving
the needed tone to the bowels, and few cases
long resist the use OF this medicine. Try it
once. Large bottles only fifty cents at A. H.
Roberts drug store. a.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

| trust In your affection
lis not to murder Dole, the Knaye,
Or put down Instruction;
It's not my crown, but me to save,
write in deep detection,
And so a package must have
or Parks Tea for my complexion.
old by A. u. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

falling barometer while a north wind i
blowing indicates snow in winter and rain O.
hail in summer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

.lno. e, Luton Of lie Roy, N. V, a prominent
grocer ana q. A. Il. man sayS:-"I have been
troubled with indigestion and bliOusness for
years. Tried Park Tea and it has cured me.
!! recommend 1t to everybody by A. IL.
Rnhplt -
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

For jaundice and liver complaint.
Ayers Pills are better than any other.
They do not contain particle of Gallo
MEL .. .|U
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

The coolest place in the world is Yakutch,
Russia; the thermometer sometimes falls to "a
degrees below zero.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Heavens! How your Bangs Look.

This is remark made by so many
husbands. II the wife only knew how nice and
lastlng curl Nonparei Hair Curler would make
she would try it too quick Price 80 cents ner
bottle. Sold by A. II. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
A Time Killer.

Ed-What do you do to pass away the
time?
Ned-Easy enough. l just give my
promissory note to some one for 30 days,
and the time passes quickly enough, /
assure you.-London Culver.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

rapidly rising barometer indicates an I'M
settled condition of the weather; gradual rise,
the contrary.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

Small boy (aside) Gee whiz" but
those little Giant Pills take the cake Sold and
warranted by A. III. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

In 1874 the cold at COnstantaninople was so
sever" that the Back Sea was frozen for fifty
miles from shore
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

The seven years of drouth and famine in
Egypt recorded in Genesis began in the year
Is. G. 1908.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

The publication of telegraphic weather
bulletin, together with predictions, began in
1867, in this country. -
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

Will keep the hair in curl the damp
est weather. Every bottle positively guaran-
teed by A. ii. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
NOnDareil Hair Curler

over one-half of the vapor In the atmosphere
Is within 5000 feet OF the surface of the earth.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
a Dead Open and Shut.

And no fOolishueSs. Bcggs' Cherry
Cough Syrup will cure where all others fail
Sold and warranted by A. H. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

when pigs are seen carrying straw in their
mouths, the omen is favorable for change of
weather.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Cough! Cough Coughi

If you want to, but if you desire to
stop, get bottle of Beggs' Cherry Cough Syrup
1t Will stop your cough i'm five minutes Sold
and warranted by a. II. Roberts
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Headache and Indigestion.

Can be cured. If you don't believe
IL try Beggs' Little Giant Pills. Sold and war.
ranted by A. Fl. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

Sun spots, now believed to have an effect on
meteorological phenomena, were first observed
in 1911.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

Most OF the storm producing strata of the air
lie below the tops of the highest mountain
ranges. .....
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

In 7iO the Thames froze solid, and fair was
held on the ice. 1t was kept open for nine
weeks.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

III Norway the perpetual snow line Is at 24OO
feet; in the Himalayas, 1900; in the Andes,
lS 900
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

The ancients entertained the idea that the
dew MAS distilled upon the earth by the moon
and stars.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

The annual rainfall OF st. Louis is said to be
AZ inches; OF London, rs; of New York, 40.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Beggs' Cherry Cough Syrup.

The greatest and best Cough Syrup.
1t Will relieve cough quicker, surer and more
enectually than any thing on the market Sold
and warranted by A. ii. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

For the Liver and Kidneys. The on
ly guaranteed cure for Kidney troubles Re-
moves the uric acid. Cures Rheumatism. TRY
It, Sold by A. Ii. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
CABLE FROM QUEEN LII.

In the temperate zones. the maximum OF hea
Is attained about month after the longest days
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

DEFORM1TIEs. We are prepared to treat
all kinds of Determines, as Club Feet, Curva-
ture OF the Spine, Weak Ankles, etc. -,
FREE EXAMINATION OF THE URINE.
Each person applying for medical treatment
should send or bring about ounces of urine
Chat passed first in the morning preferrcO,
which will received careful chemical and micro
scopio examination and If requested written
analysis will be given. 90 years experience in the
treatment of chronic disease, cures in all cura-
BILE cases of the Stomach, Liver, Heart Lungs
Kidneys, Bladder, Brain, Nerves, Rheumatism,
Fits, Neuralgia, Diabetes, Dyspepsia, Chronic
Diarrhoea, Dropsy, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Eczc-
ma Scrofula, Consumption, Deafness andnoiscs
in the ear, dischargng from the ears, cured
when others fail. AL Eye troubles, Cataract
in the vision restored by proper glasses. All
forms OF Sores, Blood and Wasting Diseases
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Parks Sure Cure

IN the United States the rainfall of the four
seasons Is about equal in amount i'm each season.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Something She Would Stop At.

II don't believe that horrid Miss Boil
ton would stop at anything"
Bob-Did you ever try her with q
soda fountain?-C Chicago Inter Ocean.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
GREsHAM's ANSWER TO QUEEN LII.

When ! received your Cablegram
thought sure would faint
For though often use Parks Tea
IT'S not for your complaint.
feared that Mrs. q. would think
Wrong rbOut our connection
Till on her dresser there srw
Parks Tea for her complexion.
Sold by A. III. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
Over Long Ago.

He (who has just proposedrDon't give
me your answer now. Think it over.
She (calmly)-I did think it over. !
thought it was all over when l saw you
flirting SO outrageously with the Barstow
girl.-New York Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12
BUILDERS
AUDUBON, IOWA.

Furnish estimates OH all kinds of
building contracts free. Have machn-
cry in our shop on Westinghouse for
doing Scroll Saving, Planning, Wood
Turning, and all kinds of jobbing.
Sash and Doors made to order AL
prices reasonable.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

TUESDAY, JULY "a,
RETURNING EVERY WEEKS
AT THE PARK HOTEL.
What is it, and how does he do it?
Little ut ed be said about DR.. Walter, as he is
we'll know u in America, as well as la Europe,
He treats all chronic diseases, such as Nose,
and all forms OF Piles cured without the knife
or detention from business.
Diseases of The Eye.
Cross eyes Strengthened in one moment OF
time. without pain.
RUPTURE cured without the knife, pain, or
detention from business.
CANCER cured without the knife, and IL posi-
tive cure given.
EPILEPSY (or Fits cured in a short time.
Guaranteed.
The Doctor can show greater number OF
ian living.
Diseases of Women.
Ladies find him great friend, and speak
Diseases of Men.
All private diseases of men cured, such as the
result of errors of YOUTH and diseases thai
render them unfit for marriage.
$500 forfeit Tor any case of chron
ic indigestion and constipation
causing nervousness and palpita
ton OF the heart which the Doctor
cannot cure.
THE GREATEST OF ALL GIFTS, THE POW
Err OF DIAGNOSING DISEASES.
Are questions which try hundreds of people
Consultation Private and Free to all. Brin,
from to4 ounces of urine for chemical analysis
DIR LYMAN p WALTER & Co
Are permanently located at
3Os MASONIC TEMPLE, CHICAGO.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

G. I. A., G. r. /. s. r. RY.,
Chicago.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1894-07-12

In
PRIVATE HOSPITAL
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1894-08-17
1t Was Only a Wrench.

A New York detective named New
come had business at Hackensack,
n. j., the other evening, and, being
in hurry took a bicycle, and was
soon speeding along the turnpike
across the meadows AS he reached
the most solitary part of the road,
fellow jumped out of the bushes and
stopped him by grabbing his wheel.
Newcome landed on his feet, and ask.
ed the man what he wanted, and the
other replied that he wanted quarter.
Newcome said that he could not have
it, when the man produced club and
said that he meant to get it. New
come reached for his hip pocket, and
drew out something that cleaned so
dangerously in the moonlight that the
robber loosed his hold on the wheel
and took to the bushes. Newcome
followed him a short distance, but
looking around saw another man pick
ing up the wheel. The detective took
aim at him with the weapon, and the
man fed. The deadly tool that New
come had was bicycle wrench
Picayune.