The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-05-16
SARGE PLUNKETT.

SARGE PLUNKETT.
The Old Man Would Like to be Elected
to Some Ofiice.
atlanta Constitution.
1t is mighty discouraging to wait
for a great uphcaval of the people in
recognition of fellow merits.
For years and years me and Brown
have worked all sorts of coquetting to
to have the people call us from the
plow and put US into office, but not an
office. 1 blame Brown and Brown
blames me for our failures in this direc-
tion. Away back in our younger days
Brown joined every society that came
along, but my advice he watched for
every opportunity to proclaim that he
would not have an Office and the fools
took him at his word and his youthful
vigor was lost upon the desert air.
He joined the Churches and was a
cheerful giver, all the time taking my
advice to be very modest about put
ting himself forward, till he got so
poor and worthless that they turned
him out on general principles, without
ever having been thought of in con-
ncction with any Office. He then
formed new alliances and tried another
schedule on down grade, as it were.
He became "hale fellow well met"
at all places Of public resort. He
spent his earnings r.cklessly and for
while it looked as if he was sure to
get there. He was the most popular
man in the barrooms, created more
merriment-everything he said was
funny and witty and the "boys" nearly
died a-laughing at his jokes and wunk
and looked solemn when he argued a
point. I was sure and he was sure
that an Office would soon be thrust
upon him, but marry Office. His
finances began to fail and his wit and
humor and learning failed in proper
tion. The "boys" who had laughed
laughed no more and any fellow could
turn him down in an argument. It
got so that he might sit all the day at
the little tables in the room with a
longing look over the bar and never a
notice was taken of him. Even the
walters who dished cut the free lunch
passed him without a word as to what
''he would take" and his favorite bar
tenders would walk around and suggest
that little fresh air would do him
good. Thus it has been with Brown,
and never an Office has come his way,
and he blames me for advising mod
est reserve instead of cheeky cheek.
The truth is that I am not to blame
for Browns failures nor he for mine.
We do no harm unless We harm intend,
is my doctrine, and | am sure that I
wished Brown we'll, as he did met
was an error of the head and not Of the
heart. I did no better than he in the
way of getting Office, and though /!
never drank nor "run with the boys"
I lied to mothers about the talents Of
their children, kissed the dirty babies
and wasted time riding round the
country when I should have been
plowing, all to create a general up.
heaval in my favor, but marry upheaval
nor marry office. In looking back it is
plain to see where we have made the
mistake and from this day, henceforth
and forever, we are in the race. I am
candidate-a standing candidate
and I want it proclaimed. Brown is
the same, and he says darn your mod
esty, he wants it talked and expects to
talk it himself. It is mighty bad
time to launch out into politics, for it
has got US all to guessing. The old
party is "split' up so that one of EN-
don't know how to talk to another
and there is 80 much winking and
blinking among the third party fel-
lows that they keep you thinking
there are some great secrets hid that
they are going to spring at the proper
time. I am inclined to sorter take a
halfway ground and beat 'em both,
but Brown says take the first that will
claim you as its own by putting you up
before the people. The conditions
out West sorter hacks Brown; he is
afraid of war, and this women s rights
question l am afraid will trip me.
The women misunderstood me. They
think I'm against them advancing.
Last week I received letter from
good lady friend scoring me for what /
had to say week before about women
entering into competition with men,
and sorter spitefully, I thought, took
occasion to inform me that there were
women writer's on the Constitution
that I couldn't hold a light to. l
agree with mine adversary quickly on
this, and in all sincerity will say that
there is no one who admires the genius
of Maud Andrews or the pure and
wholesome editorials of Mrs. King in
her "Woman' Kingdom more than
I do. I can tell this sarcastic friend
that as little as care for society
rot in general, I always read Maud
Andrews and often am so much
charmed that linger upon the page
till I have read column after column
of what I call nonsense, and, as for
Mrs. King, for years 1 have watched
for her matter and have often remark
ed upon its purity and healthfulness
in the household-and [ am not trying
to secure their votes, either.
The negro is laying mighty low now
a-days in these political wrangles. 1t
seems that they are willing to take the
work and let the white folks take the
politics. I used to think that the
workers were bound to be the property
owners, and property owners were
bound to be the rulers in one way or
the other. l guess this is not correct,
but, anyhow, the mechanics Of the
town arc still complaining that the
negroes are getting more than fair
share of the work that is given out. l
was standing in crowd Of mechanics
the other day as a fine carriage passed
with negro driver, and this brought
on talk about the desirability of such
situations. There are several classes
of employment which the negro has
almost monopoly upon, just because