Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-01-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The season is here when the bravest
of us are glad to get under cover
Buffalo Courier.
Filing a will sometimes rasps the
feelings of disappointed legatees.
Lowell Courier.
Maud-"Our engagement is Sc
cret. ;" Lena--"So everybody tell me"
Brooklyn Life.
It will not help your own crop any
to throw stones at your neIghbors
truck patch. Rams Horn.
Watts-.'You look rather shaky this
morning" Naturally. l feel
rocky. indianapolis Journal.
The girl of the period says she OBJ
jects to fattery, but she likes to have
her sleeves puffed New York World.
She-.Do you think he is real
nobleman?" He-"He must be; he
isn't an ideal one. Detroit Free
Press.
A Philadelphia doctor tiled to ''raise
the Dead" but was Immediately fired
on by the cemetery watchman. Plain
Dealer.
Young America, with his parents to
help him, is rapidly educating the
timid teachers of this country
Galveston News.
No matter if man is peaceful at
all other times, when he meets cy-
clone he is sure to strike blow
Rochester Democrat.
Naturalist -"And now. how shall we
prove that man is the superior crea-
ture?" Prpil-"By asking him.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Barber How would you like your
hair cut. sir?' Uncle Hayseed-"Fust
rate, young man; fact is, that's what
| cum in fer. -" Brooklyn Life.
1t doesn't make much difference to
BARRIERS how hard times are. Even Ill
the best of times they have to scrape
for a living. Philadelphia Record.
oh, woodman, spare that tree,
pray you let 1t stand,
A refuge it may be
When the bulldog is at hand.
Atlanta journal.
What n foolish reason! So
she wouldn't marry You on account OF
your familyg" He-''No; and L only
had wife and one child Me
Up.
Mrs. Flatte- Maria says she can
cook. Mr.. Flatte--'Oh, that girl
would say that she could read Chinese
laundry ticket. Kate Fields Wash
ington.
Student-'I tell you frankly that |
shall not be able to pay for the suit TIL
next year. When will you have 1t
ready % "railor-"Ne year. File
gende Blaetter.
Eyer kin talk" said n philosopher
of the East Side, bout it's beln'
vulgar t. wear di'mon's, but | notice
that them that has 'em wears 'em. -
Buffalo Express.
Young Men lat restaurant) -" Hear,
YOU, we wanted these oysters cooked.
Wsiter-''Den vot for you keep cry
rah rah all der dime? How vos dot?'
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Griggs why, don't you ever have
any trouble whatever in meeting your
bills?" Spriggs Trouble? Not
bit of IT, | meet 'em everywhere l
60. ~ Somerville Journal.
New Yorker-"You don't see any
grass in our streets, anyway. She
from Philadelphia --'No-o. Must
be the climate. The soil Is certainly
rich enough 49, Brooklyn Life.
II was careless this morning at
church aud put dollar in the box
when I intended to give only dime
"A case of eontributory negligence,
70 tn speak. Detroit Tribune.
Good Samaritan Don't YOU know
better than 10 drive that poor horse up
hill 80 fast" O'Connor Up hill, y
IL Oh. begorra the nas's blind and
he can I see Il iife's Calendar.
Hc dropped a cartridge iH the slot
Aud then bee sought the lair
90 forest game and soon be got
iai and iaiy bear
~ think love % football must be
Inherent ia the rigskin family
what makea yoa think sot" why.
shsaeVes iittl, iemiafe wehts - play
lhn gnme, hh mother klrl- Ne~
Nnrh pfe,s,
Duung the siege of Paris freneh
lnds, driven bf hHunet 40 eat h.r pet
ilos. eke'aimel Nhea She hai finished
hef meal 'pOog i.Hn, BOA pleased
shr would hayc pefu e. ssau her oWn
haner - faplllou.
Mamma K0hhie. Fqlf face doesnt
lock auY cleansf fhaH whea seat Yfn
o. aarh a. pii FaH Hfe tbn sospi
Hahhie ~fse nhl t made lhH dan4
itsi esp hHhttH fHH f'ff as
hiaaed ihfff pes4a
fla Hiehi 49, 81 CassaeA I
La ai'f Gas H8 ieaf WsAai lkai
faal h4sl.aa Is ae sti e. reap
haiesst afisffr Mff talNlF aaf
"iaAet4 Z Haf ~. H.tla.. ~ bee
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