The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1894-11-17
The Funny Side
Of Our Politics
Many Amusing Anecdotes That Were
.G Told by Campaign Orators.
DEPEW AND HIS READY WIT
One on the Repeal OF the sherman Law.
Good Jokes on Tammany-Other
Apt Witticisms.
New York. NoY. 1G.

Apt Witticisms.
New York, Nov. 1G.
While the political fight just closed
In New York was the most earnest ever
fought, there were side lights Of humor
thrown upon it that livened up the sit
uation and made it more bearable to
leaders and people. The humors of the
campaign were many and varied, and
the stories told by the orators We're from
stale to side-spltting, but were usually
we'll adapted to the crowds to whom
they were told. viii Culkins, in the
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette tells
some of them. He says that Chauncey
NJ. Depew was, of course, the prime
story-teller of the campaign, though
not few others tried themselves at
funny business. At one station atwhich
Depew's special train stopped he dis
played his ready repartee, when some
one in the crowd interrupted him by
shouting, What about the New York
Central rairoad?' I'm president of
it," responded Depew, but ! can't help
that. When / came here / didn't have
a penny, and If | had spent my time
lOafing around. interrupting speakers
and voting the Democratic ticket / sup
pose l wouldn't be any better off today
than you are"
Speaking of railroads" said Mr.. De-
pew, "they are not making as much
money this year as they did during the
Worlds Fair, and that reminds me that
/ was in Chicago last year and met
Christopher Columbus. You find things
pretty much changed in the last four
hundred years, Mr.. Columbus l re-
marked. Yes was the sorrowful an
swer. The only thing that Is familiar
to me is the Democratic party"
DIR. Depew also gave vent to the fol-
lowing jokelet:
Some of my Democratic friends say
] am not going 50 swiftly on my special
as Hill and Flower are on theirs-that
their trains run eighty miles an hour to
keep appointments. Well, the hound,
you know, was told that he didnt equal
the hare in speed. of course not said
the hound; I'm only. running for my
dinner and the hare Is running for his
life That's the difference between
Hill and me-"
G. c. Shayne was another Of the cam
paign story-tellers, and gave vent to
the following as illustrative of the fac
tional fight in the state and county
Democracy: ..
THE Democratic party Of today" he
says, reminds me of the widow and
widower who got married Each had
two children, and, in the course of their
married life, two more children came to
bless them. One morning terrible
racket emanated from the kitchen. The
old man went below, and presently he
was heard calling to his wife:
Sarah. Sarah" said he, come down
quick; my children and your children
are lighting with our children
Senator Hill found but little in his
campaign to inspire mirth, and he told
but one story during the entire strug-
gle, and even that was not new. 1t was
something like this:
Bridget loudly, to Pat, in the yard)-
get your ham and eggs.
Pat (softy)-Have ye rally ham
n'aigs, Bridget?
Bridget (whispering)-Whist, Pat,
was yellin' fur the benefit Of the neigh
bors, sure. Av course, we've only soup
fnata and bread
Congressman Cummings told a story
relative to the repeal of the Sherman
bill by Republican congress:
John Allen was a country lawyer and
was engaged to defend q man charged
with mayhem-with having bitten off
another mans ear in rough-and- tum-
BILE fight. The father of the defendant,
afraid that u common country practi-
toner might not be able to put on the
necessary flourishes TO impress the
jury, associated with Allen q young
lawyer fresh from the Havard Law
school.
John conducted the cross-eXamina-
tion of negro witness, whom he got to
NiiuI lut NIltlc lilt liz III
occurred was new ground full of
short stumps about six inches high,
which We're very sharp at top-as sharp
as knife, in fact, some of them were
and that in rolling about on the ground
the plaintiffs head might have fallen
against the sharp point of a stump and
his ear have been cut off.
"'Yasser,' the witness said, hit
been dat way
THAT will do said Allen.
Hold on, interrupted the young
lawyer from Harvard, who thought
that Allen hadn't gone far enough.
You say that this mans ear might have
been cut off in that way. Are you sat
isfed, sir, beyond doubt that this is
the way in which this gentleman had
the misfortune of losing his carp
well, boss said the darkey, Il
been shure eff it eff / hadn'er
seen de yuther man spit de year outer
his MOUTH"