The Washington times., 1894-03-22
COnradeShip
. in Marriage,

Comradeship writes Junius Henri Browne
is the strongest test and proof Of affection
and sympathy between persons of the same
or of different sex. The fervor and force of
love may be measured by it. Lovers, as every
body knows, cannot, in the early stages of
their passions, be together too much. 1t is
very rare, however, that such excess OF COM
radeship continues long after marriage.
There are, of course, good and patent reasons
for this, though the general fact remains.
The degree of comradeship kept up between
man and his wife is evidence in the main OF
their mutual attachment and harmony.
Material interests aside we do not seek or
share the society of those that we fail to be in
accord with. Community of opinion, of
taste, of feeling, brings us together, and lack
of such community separates US. II is con-
tradiction in terms to say that the married
are not associates. And yet they often are
not. which is evidence that the marriage is
more nominal than actual, less binding
and attractive than itshould be.
Most marriages are much alike in their first
weeks aud months, In their first year, per-
haps Their diversity comes later. when they
are Judged, and wisely judged, by comrade-
ship. which is in most cases infallible. Critical
and careless persons have the same opinion
of comradeship as illustrative of the feelings
of the comrades toward each other Rural
folk are constantly saying, when they see
couple strolling day after day along the
country roads or through the fields, They're
in a bad fix; they must be powerfully in love-
Nor are they, in their homespun speech. wide
of the mark. Companionship. whenever last
ing, means to more or less extent. what is
understood by the word love, capable OF most
varied significance. even of contrary defini-
tions.
Outwardly calm couples are generally
comrades. They are not invariably seen to-
gether They have no object in advertising
themselves The husband has his duties to
discharge; the wife has hers. One never in
terferes with the other unless for consultation
concerning what is best for both. They are
companions where circumstances and fitness
favor-nOt for conventionality or for SEEM
ing's sake. but from inclination, from spon-
taneous choice. He prefers TO be with her as
O rule TO being with any body else when he is
at leisure. But he is not everlastingly say
ing so, and contradicting his assertion by his
acts. He enjoys things doubly with her. be
cause they have similar views tastes, and be-
liefs. Not the same however. II they were
the same their society would resemble soli-
tude and their talk a monologue He is
conscious too. that she has something that
he has not, and this something he is ever
eager to hear They are fond Of comparing
notes. and their comparisons are interesting
and valuable. Unlike as well as like. their
intercourse is improving and stimulating,
and they do not weary one another, as the
most amiable and estimable pairs not infre-
quently do.
They do not go out great deal. though
quite enough TO be sociable and 10 keep
abreast of the time. Evenings at home they
do not regard as misspent or lost. for they
read to one another. he mostly to her while
her hands are busy with household tasks.
OF periodicals. current literature, and solid
books. old and new there is always ample
supply. And then such reading proyokes
comment and pleasant discussion-eaeh cher
ishing an individual opinion-that are never
tedious and never fully finished. And when
they do not read they talk.
"Talk?'' some marital sceptic says. ''How
can the same man and woman talk together
for whole lifetime? What topics could they
find? What possible interest could ceaseless
repetition awaken? They might begin each
evening with some sort of talk but their talk
would speedily end in profound sleep"
This may be true in many instances. But
it is not true of a really companionabIe
couple, who, while they are affectionately
one. are yet distinctly and intellectually two.
These are so finely and reciprocaly attuned
that the hymn of their natures is never dis
cordant. never mono:onous. Veritable COM
panions interminably give and receive. and
the double process goes on, making the old
new and the familiar fresh while the years
roll round. Companionship In matrimony
does not depend on constitution and fortune
but on will and resolve, on self-control and
disposition to be just.
Marriage must be partially failure where
companionship is not. especially where hope
OF il has been relinquished. To hope for it.
TO strive for it. is to make it possible. if not
probable, unless the human elements are
opposed. Nothing can compensate for its
absence. 1t is superior in effect to the
common virtues. 1t is the diadem and throne
Of wedlock