The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1894-01-16
THE INTERVIEW.
Mr.. CLEVELAND AND THE PREsI-
DENT.
IRON the New York SUM-

must take better care Of yourself. /
don't know what The country would do
if you should break down with Con-
gress on your hands.
CT know it. It is this deep Fense
of indispensibility that sometimes
almost gives me a tired feeling. But
this Hawaiian business annoys me. If
it wasn't for this COMPOUNDED Con-
gress-
P.-O, well, you don't mind Con-
gress, I hope9 I don't.
C.-Yeb it is such a nuisance to super
wise it.
Pr know. Servants are such a
care. But you must try and bear it
the best you can.
C.-Why, some of them Congress
men actually have the impudence to
oppose my policy.
P.-What are we coming to9
C.-And they have the cheek to call
themselves Democrats, too, the stupid,
obstinate scoundrelsI
P.-Well, I dunno; I sometimes
think that you and I r about the
only Democrats left, old man.
C.-Leftl How leftG Who says we
are leftH o, Isee. Yes, but I can't x-
pect everybody to understand things
as well as I do. It's this perpetual
feeling of responsibility that makes
me nervous.
P.-I know just how you feel, Some
times when 1 put out my bedroom
candle at night, I think to myself,
great Scott, how dark the world is now.
C.-Yes; I've had the same thought.
I remember just after my great mes
sage in 1887 I was putting on my shirt
one morning, and, by thunder, sir,
the run rose as soon as I had buttoned
the top button.
P.-Some of the newspapers, heb,
heb, seem to think we sort of tross u
skirts on this Hawaiian trouble.
C,-The newspapersI Faugh! Damn
the newspapers. lit wasn't for the
newspapers and Congress
P.-We could show 'em a policy that
would make their eyes stick out.
C.-Newspapers or no newspapers,
Congress or no Congress, when I have
taken a line of policy, I won't bulge.
I am a sticker. I know what's right.
L know what's good for the country.
P.-I'd like to know who does if you
don't.
C.-What am l here forG I'm no
errand boy I'm the boss. Seer
P.-Theyu find that what you say
goes before they get through with you.
C.-There's one thing you can be a
great help to me in, If any of them
Democratic kickers come around ask
ing for an Office for their constituents
you just keep on telling them a fair ex-
change is no robbery. Gentlemen, a
batch of Mr.. Cleveland's opinions goes
with each Office. Take the lot and we
take you" votes. Is it a bargain9
P,-Beautiful, beautiful. And yet
they say we haven't got any tact. I
guess we can run about as good a
diplomacy counter as any of 'em'
Give do know a thing or two.
We're no jays if we did come from
Buffalo. But the Hawaiian policy is
P.-Sh-sh They whisper.
C.-Keep 'em all agog, you see.
Nothing like mystery. I like to be
mysterious. 1 enjoy it.
P.-But Congress will be bowling
for the papers.
C.-Let 'em howl. am responsible
to the American people, and the Ameri-
can people have supreme confidence in
the rectitude of my intentions and in
the integrity of my ratiocinations.
P-Don't waste that. Put it in the
special message.
Can act of justice to a sister po-
tentiate detrauded Of her throne by
the base machinists Of
PA lot of darned Americans, SONS
Of missionaries and such trash.
CHANG 'eml I wish there was
some way Of getting rid of 'em. I'm
afraid we shan't be able to use the navy
at present.
P.-O, Congress won't sit forever.
And the Constitution
C.-The Constitution is an Internal
old nuisance.
PIN with you there. But, then,
we can ignore it.
C.-Yes, but the mere thought of it
displeases me.
Pits too bad that we can't throw
it away, the way we did that tariff
plank.
CT am all the Constitution my
country needs. Nv people are per.