The record-union., 1894-06-12
TYPE LICE.
IAN etching by Professor I. z. Buggs.l

An etching by Professor I. Z. Buggs.l
Once man who was stretching felt a
violent relching. His friend. who was
an engraver, made an etching OF this
retch:ng, and thus was etching derived
from stretching. Even to this day the
average etching has tendency to pro-
duce Il retching. But there will be no
stretching in the following etching.
The scene is not the Hungry Hollow
hog ranch where | now reside, but a
spacious fiat occupied by the printing de-
partment OF large publishing house IN
busy and populous metropolis. The
Hat is almost as big as hog ranch and
probably supports just about as many
unmarked hogs. You couldn't throw a
rock from one end of that printing office
to the other. The rolling and numbering
Of book and job presses would drown
your voice within few PAGES. But there
are from fifty to seventy-tiye persons OF
both sexes employed there, and the way
they have of tclegraphing a good thing
from one corner to another is beyond my
comprehension.
THE ETCHING.
have discarded my cowhide boots, the
tops of which were EN- blaZoned with the
word "Ranchers." surrounded by a SUI
Dernatural halo, or angelic corona, OF
brass; l have shaken on that staggering
stride peculiar to those who have been
much accustomed to taking short cuts
across fields of California sumnler-fal
low; my hands and face are etfeminately
soft and white-l would recoil with hor-
ror at the thought or catching an old SOW
by the hind leg; l am attired IN SpOtless
raiment of fine linen and broadcloth; my
friends have ceased 10 ask HE If | have
come to town to sell a hog''; and, last
but not least, a tall silk hat adorns my
brainy cranium, for / now hold a re-
sponsible literary position i'll the afore-
said publishing house.
L ain overseeing the work OF an
''orneryn- n-looking 'Inake-up." The pig
sty from which the iieas in their summer
hops, were wont TO knock the clapboards
OIL. has almost faded from my meplory.
The 'make-up'' is buSily engaged i'll
hunting for Il lost iten. On sudden be
breaks forth with, Great Cesar! did you
ever see so many type llce?'
Now, | am something OF an entomol-
ogist by nature as well as by name, and
never miss an opportunity like This; so
bend over the galley where be has found
the type lice, in order To get a better view
OF them.
TYPE lice be id" l reply impa-
tiently.
Don't you see them?" he queries, sig
niiicantly; look closer"
Then tilt back my tall silk hat bring
my nose scientifically down over the
place indicated, and smack! that internal
''ornery-looking makeup" brings
down his watery, inky sponge directly
under my nose. splashing the murky
water all over my face. Amazed ut his
inlpudonce 1 raise my head and look
around the room with a look of timd
supplicatlon and abashment. But every
one OF tie seventy-fiye men, women and
children III that vast room is gigglng.
Now my smothered rage breaks forth
i'll acts OF violence. | seize the make
ups" mallet and knock him down with
it. grab the sponge and stuff it into his
mouth.
Then l rush out amidst a storm OF
gibes and reproaches, hasten to my en-
ployer's Office and, sitting down on my
tall silk hat, resign my situation.
This is why | am back on the hog
ranch at the Hollow. SIC SeBtper tyrttlllaS.