Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-06-05
SWIPES.

"Who is Swipcs? And yer think It's .
queer manner Well, yer see faint that
really. It's Bert Gilman-that's what 1t
reads on the books-and he's Messenger
IA If you want ter call him. Pm No II.
'But yer amt heard about Swipes' lat
est2 Well, it's mighty good one on him,
and we fellers was most tickled to death.
"We was awful busy that day, and there
Want no one in the office but Swipes and
young Nelson when woman came in
with u kid and said she wanted it taken
tHer to the west side and told the number.
''Nelson wanted her ter write it, but she
said she couldn't, 'causeShe had her gloves
on, SO he wrote the address, and Swipes
took the kid and started off.
'sWhen he got ter the house, q man come
ter the door, and Swipes said, Here's the
kid
1.-THE man looked awfully 'stonished
and asked What kid?'
"'Why, the kid the lady sent, said
Swipes.
"'Well, it don't belong here anyway,
said the man. There aren't any children
here, and there haven't been fur years.
and he tried to shut the door.
picked 1T up and marched back ter the Of
fee A gang Of us spied him fore he got
there, and we did give it ter him.
''He dropped the kid inter chair and
told the boss how they wouldn't take the
child and didn't seem ter know nothtn
about it.
"'Take it back to the woman, then,
said he, looking cross.
"'Don't know where she lives answer
ed Swipes She had black veil on, SO
didn't see her face, and she did not give
any name-and here's the kid, and what
shall do with it?'
"sTake care of it somehow. l can't be
bothered, and he began ter write, leavin
Swipes with tho baby on his hands
"Well, we tended her all that day, and
kept a-hopin the woman would come ter
take her back when she found it Want
where she sent it, but she didn't come
"Swipes was a-goin ter give 1t baked
beans for dinner, but the woman at the
bakery said babies had ter have warm
milk, so Swipes bought quart, and we
boiled it in a pan over the tire. Then we
had ter get spoon ter feed it with.
''Ncd held the pan while Swipes did the
feedin, and MORN half O. that milk got
spilled. He got it all over the kids dress,
and once, when he WANT a-noticin, the
kid gave q jump, and hit the pan and spill
ed tho milk all down Swipes' leg and onto
the floor.
"When night came, the boss said we'd
better take the baby ter some 'sylum, but
we kinder greed between ourselves we'd
better keep it another day fore packin 1T
A.A rryif n no
paper around it as folks wouldn't guess
what he'd got.
"Him and me bunk together, and we
didn't exactly know what we was a-goin
ter do with that baby, cause If we put it
in the bed 'twould roll out and get hurt,
and there want nothin at all that would
do for cradle, such as Swipes said she
ought ter have.
$50 Swipes he went down stairs and
borrowed a great big washboiler Of Mrs
Murphy, but he didn't tell her what he
wanted it for, cause he didn't want ter
: git laughed at too much.
"Well, sir, we jammed piller inter the
bottom Of that boiler, and then we laid the
kid in, and she was snug as could be. And
we covered her up with couple O. towels
and a piller case. The towels was pretty
dirty, but the baby was dirty, too, SO it
didn't matter much
"Then we took rope and strung 1t
through tho handles and nailed the ends
into the walls, so the boiler swung fine as
could be, and we took turns hittin it till
the kid dropped off ter sleep.
"We slept good, but woke up by the
kids yellin. We gave it some more milk,
and then Swipes said he guessed we'd bet
ter wash its face. Didn't neither Of us
want ter, SO we tossed coppers, and he had
ter.
ssSwipes took his handkerchief and kind
or made dab ut the kids face, but the
dirt stuck on, SO finally he just had tel
scrub. OF course the kid yelled, and Swipes
made me knock over chairs SO the folks
wouldn't hear Then its face wasn't clear
either for there was streaks all over 1t.
"Then we had ter go ter the office, ant
we lugged the kid there and made the
other fellers tend 1t while Swipes went or
an GRAND.
'sBum by he come rushin in and whis
pered ter me ter come on, and then he tool
| the kid, and we went off. He wouldn'1
| say nothin about what he was a-goin to-
do with it, but pretty soon he turned int
house.
"There was piece Of Grape tied ter tn
doorknob, and as we stood there an under
taker drove up.
| ''Pretty soon a pale lady came al
dressed in black, and Swipcs he didn't sa.
nothin, but just put the baby in her arms
''Then the woman began ter cry, ant
she Rugged the baby and kissed it, ant
Swipcs whispered ter me how her owl
baby had died the day before.
'Then Swipes told the lady how the XII
had been left at tho office, and the womal
hadn't come for 1t or anything, and Ii
guessed she must be dead, cause one WON
an did get killed by the cars that day.
Ibid they send the baby back? Well
no. They think heaps of it, and Swipe
and me goes ter see it sometimes, and
guess it knows us.
"'Twas funny business all round, bu
do you know I think twas awful smar
of Swipes the way he got rid of the kid
"Swipes thinks SO too. Harriet Cal
lyle Cox in Boston Globe.
Mixed Up the Two Websters.
| n,vino Daninl Wehctor's visit To En1