davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
PITH AND POINT.

The way of the world is to make
avs, but follow customs. -Montaigne.
About all the use some peoples
heads are is 10 put their hats on. -Lc-
gan Nation.
Come to stay?" asked the fish.
''Oh, nor said the worm; lust dropped
"A for bite"
All at sea-''Let go the anchor"
yelled the captain. II amt a-touching
il, said the new neck hand. Bits.
II hear BillSer lost his job. Won
der if he's struck anything since?"
''Er-yes: all of his friends and two
thirds of his acquaintance" Buffalo
Courier.
- don't believe half of our rich
men know when they are well Off"
"IIumph. How'd you get that idea?"
Been looking over the assessment roll.
buffalo Courier.
Tommy. can You give me a sem
tence in which but is a conjunction?'
asked the teacher See the goat butt
the boy Butt is a conjunction, and
connects the boy with the goat
How shall enter the money the
cashier skipped with?" asked the book
keeper; under the profit and lossP"
mo; suppose you put it under the run
ming expenses. Toronto Reporter.
Rest and change are good for peo-
pie" said the wife as She rose in the
night to rifle her husbands pockets.
I've hid , rest, and now | think I'll
have a title change. "-Buffalo Courier
lis it true that your bride is very
hard of hearing?" 1T is. Why, when
proposed to her had to shout out so
l"nd that all the neighbors ran in and
congratulated me. "-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
Mother Ito six-year-old sonl-
"Burch. how did you tear your new
trowsers?" Burch-"Well. mother. |
don't see how you can expect me to be
a-knowning what is going on behind
me"
Mrs. Oatbin = ''IIere's this piano
lamp | bought; / guess there's some
thing wrong with it," ClerlI-"No. it
is all right" Mrs. Oatbin - well,
there amt no more tune to it than a
homemade tallow candle"
-''Oh. doctor. have sent for you,
certainly, still must confess have not
the slightest faith in modern medical
science" Doctor-"Oh. that doesn't
matter in the least. You see, mule
has no faith in the veterinary surgeon,
and yet he cures him all the same. -
Tagliche Rundschau.
AS to Advertising Merchant-''Do
You think advertising pays?" Book
Agent-"No. don't" Merchant-"Why
not?' Book Agent-"Why not Be
cause it takes all the people to your
store To buy goods, and can't find any
body at home to sell book to; that's
why not. Detroit Free Press.
Author loaned a copy of my
new book to Joanes. and when he re-
turned it he praised it up to the mines.
But | found ont, come to look at it,
that he hadn't even cut the leaves.
What do you think of that?" Friend
81 think you are fortunate in getting
an unbiased opionion from man of
Joanes discernment.' boston Tran
script.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
MAKING A WINEGLASS.
A Process Typical of the Blowers Whole

Process Typical of the Blowers Whole
Art.
The making of an ordinary wine
glass is typical of most of the processes
employed in glass-blowing. We start
with the bulb at the end of the iron
tube or blowing-iron. The bulb is
as the bowl of the future wineglass,
but somewhat longer. A small knob
of solid glass is gathered, and dropped
upon the end of the bulb. The knob is
quickly pulled out to form the future
leg by means of a tool closely resem-
bling a pair of sugar-tongs. A smaller
bulb, blown by an assistant, is attached
to the end of the leg, and severed
from the assistants blowing-iron. The
small bulb or cup-for there is an aper-
ture where il has been severed-is now
heated; the point of tool is inserted
in the aperture, and the cup is thrown
out into a fiat disk (the future FOOT.
of the wineglass, is guillotined from
the blowing-iron by the application of
cold steel The wineglass is complete,
but the edge of the bowl is rough and
uneven. 1t is picked up by the foot by
spring clip attached to an iron rod,
and the edge is reheated. The com
bined action of scissors and heat gives
a smooth edge to the bowl, and the
wineglass is finished, but not ready for
use. All glassware requires to be
slowly cooled or ''annealed. Work.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
TO DETECT EARTHQUAKES.
An Instrument for Recording Shocks at .
Distance.

Distance.
In Birmingham, England, they have
a very cleyerly-constructed apparatus
for detecting earthquakes. OF all
things in the world, you no doubt be-
lieve, an earthquake might be most
easily detected without the aid of any
instrument. But this one at Birming-
ham is not for those near enough to
you to shake the very building about
you, but for indicating those at any dis
tance away.
Thus when all Greece was shaken the
other day, destroying Thebes. as you
know, the shock travelled vt the rate of
one hundred and eleven miles min
ute, and was detected in birmingham
fourteen minutes after Thebes was
stricken. BY the time the vibrations
reached England they were naturally
50 Slight that no one felt them, al
though they continued for nearly half
an hour.
The apparatus which has proved all
this consists of a pendulum which is so
connected with rotating mirror that
tilt of the ground on which the APP
paratus stands appears magnified three
lhouSdhu tilhcS- IL Is easy 10 see,
therefore. how a motion too slight to
be discovered by people not thinking
of it could be distinctly indicated by
this
Had other instances of shocks travel
ing at Great rapidity not been known,
this testimony from the Birmingham
instrument might not be accepted. But
scientific records are full of verified
instances. One of these given in an
account from which these facts are
taken cites the California earthquake
of February %, 1892, which was felt at
the Arequippa observatory, in Peru, a
distance of four thousand five hundred
miles, two hours and thirty minutes
later. The rate Travelled by those
shocks was, then twenty-eight and one
half miles a minute.-N. Y. World.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

A lively desire is great sharpener
of the wits. and il is likely enough
that the boy of whom the following
story is told in an exchange is no
brighter than other boys when ii
comes to grammar and arithmetic.
lie was cleaning his skates and
.vhiStling merrily when his mother re-
marked:
The paper this morning has an ac-
count of little hoy who was drowned
while skating on thin ice"
The boy ceased whistling, but kept
on rubbing the skate iron.
Too bad!" said he. Il wonder IL he
was any relation to the poor little boy
who was killed the other day bv an
electric car while on his way 20
schOol?''-Youth's Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
The Sugar Steal.

Senator Nelson w. Aldrich, of
Rhode Island, thenrepublican leader in
the fight against the Wilson bill, has
charged that the sugar schedule of the
bill allowed the sugar trust to plumber
American sugar consumers out of
thirty-four million dollars. No demo-
cratic senator has denied, much less
refuted, Senator Aldrich's declaration.
The democratic newspapers either
maintain a significant silence over the
matter or are equally as severe as the
republican press in condemning the
democratic slavishness to the sugar
octopus. The sugar scandal is an adj
mitted and highly disgraceful actuali-
ty.-Albany journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Bridget. her Harlem mistress always
said, was willing" but she did not un-
derstand American cookery.
Her mistress sent home a half dozen
live hard shell crabs one day and left
word that they were to be prepared for
dinner. When the lady entered the
kitchen on her return home she found
Bridget in tears and with her hands
and arms tied up. Two empty green
crab shells were on table, three of the
crabs were mutilated and dead and the
last one Bridget was preparing to at
tack.
I've downed them ALL" explained
Bridget. but that last devil in the cor
ner, and he's a fighter.
What are You doing to them?n
gasped the mistress.
Cleaning them ma'am. There's two
of them cleaned, pointing to the emp
" shells.-N. Y. World.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
One Day short

There is small island in the south
Pacific, where there only appear to be
six days in the week. This extraor-
binary phenomenon is brought about
by the location of the island. Travel
ers around the world are acquainted
with the fact that time is lost while
travelling east and gained while travel
ing west, the difference of time in a
transatlantic journey alone being
about four hours. This little island is
just on the line of demarcation be-
tween times and dates. In order to
keep right with the remainder of the
world it is necessary to skip from noon
on Sunday to noon on Monday every
week in the year, and hence the joke
that it Is possible to spend a whole day
at dinner without eating an average
meal. The island is so near the ant
arctic region that days and nights are
altogether mixed up from the idea of
an ordinary Individual, but this plan
of jumping the afternoon of ore day
and the morning of the next so as to
keep in line with the almanac is some
thing so ridiculous that none but a sea-
faring man can appreciate it, or under
stand the necessity.-St. Louis Repub-
lie
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
Fruits of Democracy.

Thirty-fve years ago, after long
period of almost uninterrupted control
of the government by the democratic
party, the country was precipitated
into fearful civil war; and now, De.
fore the close of the second term of its
first president since that time, the
shadow of unrest is upon the country,
men are out of employment, armies of
men, footsore and weary, have been
for weeks marching upon Washington
and asking for relief, strikes prevail in
many states, property is destroyed,
men are assaulted and beaten, lives
are lost in the conflicts between the ri.
oters and the local officers of the law,
and peace is only secured by the pres.
ence of state troops hastily put into
the field to maintain order. In some
localities the situation is reported as
appalling. Truly, demo cracy bears its
fruit and it is bitter. -Cincinnati Ga.
zetfe
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
Times Are Hard.

The business man was looking like
Napoleon on the island of st. Helena
when a friend came into his Office.
Hello, what's the matter?" was the
greeting.
'.Oh, these hard times are wearing on
me-"
mo danger of going to the poor
house, is there?"
Il wouldn't like to swear to II"
''Is it that bad?'
''Well. I'm short twenty-five thou
sand dollars this year as compared with
last"
you've lost that much?"
''That's the size of it"
"What were your profits last year?"
Zone hundred and fifty thousand dol
lars
''And you've only got one hundred
and twenty-five thousand dollars to
keep the wolf from the door for the
year? BY Jove old man, I'm sorry for
you. / really didn't know there was
such suffering: would you like to hor-
row quarter for ninety days or such
a matter?" and the poor, hard-pressed
business man groaned.-Detroit Free
Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

~ less than the number who are cav
ing to make homes in other parts of
the world. The arrival of immigrants
for the year will be a little more than
100000. This win be a smaller NUN
imm grJnts since 1879 number about
1000, 600. reaching in one year almost
s0),o0); so that the present year with
only 100000 people from abroad ppe-
sents an unusual incident in the his
tory of immigration into the United
States. This is probably largely due
to the general depression in business,
which was quickly felt by those hav.
ing to do with the bringing in of immi
grants.-Toledo BLADE.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
KIndergarten PhiIoIoxx.

An assistant teacher ir the Fairview
public school. Roxborough, was giving
her class of little tots a lesson in ety.
molOgy a few days ago. She asked the
definition of the word gait" This
was poser and none of the children
seemed equal To the task of solving il.
There was one little girl of about eight
summers whose face shone with sud-
den fash of intelligence She held up
her hand We'll. Susie" said the
teacher, what does gait mean?"
Susie's childish voice had a ring OF
great confidence in il as she replied:
Its one of those things you get on
when you're sent TO the store. MY
mother always says so."-Philadelphi
Record
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Mora is to Italians what draw poker
is to Americans-the national game.
There was an astonishing amount of
gesticulation and loud talk, but it was
all in the game and well meant. The
game is played by two persons. One
calls number. say seven. He throws
out say five fingers TO make the nur.5er
and his opponent must try to make up
the remainder, two, by Immediately
putting up that number of fingers.
The moves must be made instantly.
Some of the players are marvelously
rapid, but to the uninitiated, there is
not much pleasure in the game. The
stakes are usually very SMALL Buffalo
Co,,riaY
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
ENERGETIC WAITING.
II Is One of the Essential Elements in a
Successful Career.


One of the most successful men in the
county, in reply to the question how
he succeeded in doing so many difficult
things. said: II can wait" His capacity
for abiding his time was a great ele-
ment of success in the large and diff
cult enterprise which he undertook,
and which he carried through. Small
things can be done in hurry; large
things require time; and the largest
things require often a great deal of
time. Ii is only the man cf long
thought and unwearied patience who
can secure them. Waiting is great
element in a life that succeeds on a
large scale; but il is not waiting with
ones hands folded; it is waiting with
energy and intelligence. The man who
waits in this sense is always at work to
secure the end he has in view. His en-
ergy is untiring, but his intelligence
keeps his method normal and adapted
to the purpose. 1t saves hiI', rom the
folly of trying 10 secure by a single out
put of energy something which must
be fostered by growth, and which,
therefore, requires time. Most things
tDhit w biioot Nio Ndib
and intelligently; who keep steadily in
mind the end they wish to attain; who
are not hurried, discouraged or detected
from their purpose; who keep quietly
on year after year steadily nearing the
goal, and finally touching it as the cul-
mination of flow of energy which has
often seemed to be suspended and some
times to be diverted. but which has
nev1y for an instant deviated from the
thing which it sought.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
DID you EVER LOOK FOR sAeYq

Dtd you ever look for baby.
When tAa starlit skies glOwed bright.
And the arooping shade OF evening
Kept its tryst with dreamy nights
Did you ever look for baby.
And long 20 see him peep
And hold out arms for mamma
Ike before he went 20 sleepf
Did you ever look for baby.
When the frs fright cleaning ray
Of sunshine IL hill-tops
AMI dr. e the mist awavs
uid v0u ver look for baby
And find an empty space
IN tie restless arms, where Or aiming
Made FOR him resting places
DID you ever look for baby
And shiuk that IL he knew
The weary. dreary moments
You are daily passing through:
lie would softly steal from angels
And down from glowing skies
He'd nestle close 20 kiss away
The tears from streaming eyes,
Atlantic Constitution
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

A needless young man who has not
protited by the blunders that his un-
guarded tongue has caused him to
make. was introduced at a reception 10
an elderly ana somewhat peculiar lady.
whose hobby Is the collection of relics
and antiquities of all kinds After
few minutes conversation the lady
rose TO depart. when young Mr.. Heed
less said in his ARREST manner: Il am
50 glad 10 have met you. Miss R. l
have always been interested in euriosi-
ties and antiquities of every sort. and
am glad 10 have met You on that ac-
count. y Outh's Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
bas Pages for 8 stamps.

A copy of ''Health and Pleasure on Amer
ica's Greatest Railroad containing SIS
pages. with over 800 illustrations and de-
scription of more than 1000 tours; finest
book of its kind ever issued; will be sent TO
any address free, postpaid, on receipt of five
two-cent stamps, by GEORGE ii. DANIELS,
General Passenger Agent, Grand Central
Station, New York
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Mrs. Whackster-Bessie, when Mrs
Wintersykes comes you must not say
anything about her hair being false.
Mrs Wintersykes (some minutes later.
And this is Bessie, is it? How yOr
have grown.
Bessie-Yes'm. I think your hair
looks Just beautiful, but if was you I'd
paint up them eyebrows Chicago Trib-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Little is accomplished in this civilized era,
but with the gentle laxative, Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters. the bowels are relieved
without abruptness or subsequent weaken
ing Dyspepsia, malaria, rheumatism.
weakness aud kidney trouble yield to this
reliable curative, foremost also among IN
MIGRANTS and recommended by physicians
Give this medicine fair trial and be con-
WINGED
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
4 Little Too Neat.

Il don't mind a woman bein' neat,
said old Mrs. Jason. but one woman I
used to know was jist little too neat
for any use. Why, that there woman
used to take a couple of goldfish she
had out of their tank every Saturday
night and give 'em a bath. "-Indianap-
oils journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

and yet they really do you more good.
Their refined and concentrated vegetable
extracts act upon the liver in a natural
way that lasts They have a peculiar
strengthening effect on the intestines They
not only relieve, but permanently cure.
In every liver, stomach, and bowel disor
der-Constipation, BiliousneSs, Indigestion,
Windy Eructations, " Risings of Food, Sick
or Bilious Headaches, Sour Stomach-they're
guaranteed to give satisfaction, or your
money is returned
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
l,reading His Own Case.

"You promised this woman to marry
her" exclaimed the judge Indignantly.
''and now you meanly.want to back out
of it,
Your honor" replied the defendant
marriage is lottery, and by the laws
of this state lotteries are prohibited -
Judge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

HER Last Letter-'sThus we part, wretch
and this is the last letter from your un-
happy Anna. p. S.-More tomorrow
Fliegends Blaetter.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

''DE great trouble bout conversation, =
remarked Uncle Eben, IAN dat hits onpos-
sible ter show ez much originality in talkin'
bout de weddah ez yoh kin talkin' bout
yoh neighbors n-WashingtOn Star.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Is that of the Sun and the Best Lighted
Train between Minneapolis, st. Paul and
Chicago is the NoRTH-W EsTERN LIMITED.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

THERE is one thing to be said in praise Of
the doughnUt, and that is that the vacuum
in its center will not distress the weakest
stomach. Boston Transcript
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Bender-I have made the trip from
New York TO Philadelphia on bicycle
and have orders 10 write it up for a
magazine. Wonder where l can get a
good horse?
Friend-What on earth do you want
with a horse?
Bender must repeat the trip in a
carriage, so as to get an idea of the
scenery. you known Y. Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
First-Class Travelling.

Mai. Lushly-I've Fever been abroad
but I'm going this summer. What are
the rates?
Ticket Agent-fhat depends. You
can go in the second cabin for seventy
five dollars or take a saloon passage
for one hundred. Which will you take?
Maj. lshly-Why, the saloon, of
course, il Il was two .-undred,-Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

class hotel, with all modern convC uiences.
Electric cars to all parts of city. ana 10 st.
Paul, pass the door. Rates, 81 90, 81 80 and
$500 per dav; suites of rooms with baths,
extra.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

Was admitted as a state IN 1850, but the
travelling public admits every day that the
Best Line between Minneapolis. ST. Paul
and Chicago is Tue NoRTH-W EsTEKN LINE.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
Prairie Schonners

Used TO be the best mode of conveyance
overland between Minneapolis, st. Paul
and Chicago. Today the best conveyance
is the NORTH W ESTERN LIMITED.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

In United States is the Missouri and the
Best Line between Minneapolis, ST. Paul
and all Missouri River Cities from Sioux
City 10 Kansas City inclusive is The NORTH
WEsUEnS LINE.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

FoSD MAMMA Ito clerk in china store}-
81 see you have mugs marked Tom and
Jerry; have you any with Willie and
Charlie on them }'-Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

He (philosophicallyl- you approve
of going to the theater3' She practically
-"Oh, thank you, any night you like
Home Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
over 6a Million

People live in the United States and many
of these are daily delighted with the serv-
ice of THE NORTH w sTERN LINE between
Minneapolis, St. Paul and Chicago
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

The generality of men sp the
early part of their lives in confronting
to render the latter part misera BIZ
BruyeIi
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

MEDICAL men say that there is alcoholic
gas in the skull of man who dies of de
lirium tremens. The nose is probably the
gas-burner, then.-Chicago Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
THE SMALLER. TIVE PFTTrP

The man who is not conscious of his own
faults has no charity for anotner.-Ram' s
Horn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

-Bellini's devotion TO his piano was
such that by his incessant practice he
brought on the ailment which caused
his death. He was singularly amiable,
and never was known to engage in a
quarrel with anyone about anything.
Like Purcell. Mozart, Schubert, Men
delssohn. Herold and some others of
the great tone poets. he did not live out
half the allotted years of man, dying at
the age Of thirty-thrce.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

photographic likeness, and when she is old
she does not depart therefrom.-Boston
ny
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

oh. give me liberty, for even wen
Paradise my prison, still ! should long
TO leap the crystal walls.-Dryden
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12
Brightest Light

WoMEN's clubs seem to be growing. 7"
broOmstick used to be large enOugh--Phil
adelphia Record.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-07-12

or fresh water in the World is Lake ST.
perior and il Is best reached from Mime
apolis and ST. Paul by TIE NORTH WESTERN
LINE