Huntsville gazette., 1894-12-22
WHICH WAS THE MEANER.
Interesting Dispute for a Doubtful Honor
in Michigan Town.

in a Michigan Town.
4 small town in northern Michigan
has been split into two factions for the
East ten wears and the difference IS far
ther than ever from a settlement. In
deed. from the nature of things il
would seem that nothing could now
possibly happen that would bring about
harmony.
One party has steadfastly maintained
that old Memo Payner is the meanest
man upon the face of the earth. and the
other portion of the. community has
Just as zealously insisted that Azralah
Eclxum merited this distinction.
Nor have the contending villagers
been wanting in evidences of tie mig
gardliness and heartliness of the two
men. Thus it is told how Azraiah
made his father drunk and then induced
him to execute to him a deed for his
home, thereby defrauding his two
widowed sisters, while Memo per-
suaded his only son to insure his life
for his benefit and then nursing his
weakness for whisky gave him a bar
rel of the stuff, so that he drank him.
self to death in fortnight and Memo
got the insurance. Azariah gave his
children a dime apiece a week not to
eat any meat and then charged them
the ten cents for their bread and
skinned milk. When Memo drove
over to meeting six miles distant he
compelled his wife to walk to and fro
i'll order to save wear and tear of horse
flesh. These and many other stories of
the same character are told of the two
men, and it always turned out that for
each meanness of the one there was
corresponding 'cussedness" of the
other.
The climax finally came when the
two met in an extraordinary tilt,
which exhibited such nearly uniform
meanness that each faction will insist
to all time that its favorite deserves
the chief notoriety.
Old Azariah was up the river fishing,
and was SO absorbed in the sport that
he did not see a broken raft OF logs
that came sweeping down with the
swift current, and he was soon splash
ing in the eddies, while his overturned
boat raced after the disorgan1zed logs.
The old wretch contrived to get hold of
o solitary log, but it proved very un-
satisfactory support, it being round
and persistent in rolling over and over
with him. While he held on as best
he could he yelled for help until his
voice utterly failed and his strength
was about exhausted.
Memo CHANGED to be up the river on
q mission similar to that of Azariah and
and came padding down stream to-
ward the latter when he was about
ready to sink from weakness and fright.
The approach of his neighbor revived
him somewhat, and he called out inn
patiently:
Hurry, KANT you? Gimme hand" I"
'Riah," said Memo, as he brought
his boat by skillful twist of his pad
die within few feet OF the struggling
man, "I'll to AK yo five dollars fer
passage in this here boat"
You're cheat. ] won't never pay
it," cried Azariah.
Don't have ter replied Memo
off.
tcLle tdch. DOH y cT StS Ill d.
drownin'? Hain't yer no mussy?"
Drown, dart ye. Eff yer old car!liss
hain't wurth five dollars let her sink
Memo again made a movement as Of
leaving.
Here, Memo, hold on. I'll give you
a dollar, but that's talhin a orful ad
advantage of neighbor.'
Thus they disputed, Memo holding
firm to his first figure while Azariah
steadily advanced as his bodily
strength waned and his position be-
came more critical, going up ten, fif-
teen, and, finally, twenty-five cents at
a step, until he agreed to give four dol
lars, if Memo would accept payment in
cordwood.
While the latter hcsitated the log,
that all the time had been floating
down the stream, met some obstruc
tion, and Azariah disappeared instanter
and forever, leaving Memo disconso-
late over the loss of the cordwood, al
though he afterwards attempted to
make the widow believe that amount
was due him.
And this is why the villagers can not
agree touching the meanness of these
two men.-Chicago Tribune.