The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1894-01-03
Let Us All Laugh.


LABEL man dangerous and most
girls of l6 see halo around his head.
-Atchison Globe.
SOME nervous people waste almost
half their time getting there too
early. Dallas News
If you'll notice, the man who can
sleep like a top is pretty apt TO be
hummer. Buffalo Courier.
WILLIs-Which is the best position
in which TO sleep? Wallace-On the
police force. brooklyn Life.
THE most majestic manner cannot
be maintained when its possessor is
obliged TO sneeze. - Kate Fields
Washington.
DYING by inches is fast enough,
but it's unfortunate when football
players die by the foot as IL were
Philadelphia Times.
NELL-"Miss Passe hasn't a very
beautiful form, has she?" Belle
"NO, but she makes up for IL. -
Philadelphia Record.
The ears are eyes to the blind, says
an observer. According TO this view
blind person must be an ear sighted
person. Boston Courier.
Il AM "a misguided youth" said
the boy whose big sister compelled
him To help wash the dishes. -
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
PARKER is awfully conceited. lie
doesn't seem able TO get away from
himself" That's because he's stuck
on himself. f."-Harper's Bazaar.
MoLLIE-"T THAT old man Hattie is
going TO marry isn't worth do lar"
Sarah-"Of course not; he's only a
remnant. ."-Detroit Free Press.
you have faith that your husband
will become great artist?" Wife
IL can't tell yet, you see; he has only
been dead ten years. Inter Ocean.
A MAN can always tell where he
got his cold Just as easily as he can't
tell where he left his umbrella two
or three days before Somerville
Journal.
"YoUR neighbor appears to have
failed a good many times" "Just
twenty-four times. The next will
be his silver-bankruptcy."- Fliegende
Blaetter.
A RoUGH ESTIMATE. Miss Sears
what should you imagine her age
TO be-" Miss Knox-"l'm not very
good at guess; possibly the carbon.
ferrous. Vogue.
Ir isn't always sure that a young
man Is religious because he goes reg
ularly to praycr-meeting 1t may be
the girl who Is the religious one
Somerville Journal.
BERTHA-"Oh. dear I've got to 20
TO the essmaker and be fitted.
Maud-"l symratbize with you, for
know you will have trying time. -
Rochester Democrat
CUsToMEk-Hlve you copy of
Fifteen Decisive Battles?" Booksell-
er-No, sir; we are sold out, but we
can give you reflections Of Mar
ried Man. Tit Bits.
"IT's wonderful" remarked the ed.
itor, "how proud man acts when he
Is going TO have his picture publish
ed, and how humble he feels after 1t
has happened. Washington Star.
WHEN man Is accused he begins
by saying "These attacks of my en-
emles will not injure me. ! have
lived here too long to need Defense
and then proceeds TO give one
Atchison Globe.
INDIANIAN--Yer oiIerln' the boss
mighty cheap. DO ye own him for
sure? Kentuckian QCoking anxiously
toward the ferry)-Yes, he's mine,
an I'll never go back on him. =
c eveland Plain Dealer.
FEATHERsToNE (waiting for Miss
Slimson t1 come down)-Willy, that
clock OF yours is half an hour fast.
Willy-You'd better Lot tell sister
so. Featherstone-Why not? Willy
Cause she thinks you don't know
it,-Puck.
Mr.. JoNEs.-So you are the new
servant my wife has hired sup.
pose you had good references? New
Servant-Yes, indeed. was in my
last place three years and they gave
me a time allowance of nine months
for good behavior. Texas siitings.
NhiLr NibLEh-odJ, SlcuIUDup,
did you catch that thief? Detective
Sleuthpup-No, sir. Chief Miller
Well, why didn't you catch him?
Detective Sleuthpup-I don't know,
chief, unless it's because I've
Just been vaccinated. Philadelphia
Record.
MRS. O'HAeAN-I don't like the
looks av the bird. Street vender
with suppressed anger)-Are yer a
buyin' turkey for its looks or its
flavor? Qronically.) II I'd a knowed
you'd a wanted pooty bird, I'd
filled me wagon with birds O para
dise.-Life.
DEAR me-" said the girl with black
snappy eyes, Il wish was a foot.
ball player" "What do you mean?"
asked her mother aghast. "Just
what / say. wish / was foot-ba
player, and that hateful, snippy little