davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
DUNDER'S ALMANAC.
HE LEAVES THE SALOON BUSINESS
AND BECOMES A PUBLISHER.

His Book Is an Almanac, and 1t Is Brim
Fun of Jokes--CarI Gives n Few Exam
pies of What Can BE Done In the Joke
Line.
Copyright 1894, by Charles B. Lewis.l
Sergeant, congratulate me fife times
und shake my hands" exclaimed Mr..
Dunder MS he rushed into the police station
the other day"
"Ohl It's you, ehp" quietly replied the
sergeant. "Wcll what new swindle is it
this timer"
Sergeant she vhas all right No more
shwindles on Carl Dunder. l hat got some
news for you--big newsl l hat sold out
dot saloon peesness und made shange.
Hal ha hal Look at mo! l vhas der
happiest man in dis town"
''What about"
'Because of that shange of peesness.
Sergeant, you Will now hear of me all
oafcr dis world Observe me. Observe dot
l shmile Took notice how funny vhas.
Ask me aboudt dot shangc of peesnessf"
"Wcll, what have you changed tor"
Behold mel vhas no longer Carl Dun
der in der saloon peesness. but Carl Dun
der who vhas going to get oudt funny
hlllItuuC IL NIltio tSOlllB w p' bOIiiiS' ~
shall hat lots of SMOKES. 1t shall be for
English Shcrmans, French, Scotch und
lots Of onder peoples Ha! hal How does
dot strike your"
Il didn't know you were funny"
You didn't. Hal hal hal Why, SER
geant I vhus more ash two hooner2d
SMOKES all der time. You didn't know.
excuse me till wipe away dose tears. "
Its going to be a comic almanac, eh?'
"She Will be so comic dot eaferypody
shall cry for her. 1t won't be all comic,
however. 1 shall hat some weather reports
und advertisements und cures for con-
sumption. Dots What l come down to soc
you aboudt. l like you to advertise in my
almanac. / shall gif you n whole page
for fife dollar, which is half price.
But what would I advertiser" asked
the sergeant.
"Nhy, your police pccsness of course.
You Will make der hit Of dc season. l hat
| it all written oudt here 1t snyS:
TOOK SOME NoTIcE.-Dot fat police
sergeant awails himself of dis opportunity
to inform der public dot he vhas ready tc
mako arrests at all hours of der day OF
night, no matter What der weather may
be. No extra sharge for arresting some
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

Cut out and send to this office the above
Coupon with Ten Cents, and we viii send
you post paid Any Three OF the following
books:
NO: |. THE SCARLET LETTER. BY Ma
No. THE MYSTERY OF COLDE FELL;
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" 40. l. KI&G soLoMoN's MINES. BY H.
So 5. XRoUNp THE WORLD IN EIGH-
TY DAYS. BY Jules Verne.
no.. t. THE CORslCAN BROTHERS. BY
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TER or THE ISLAND. BY Mrs. Ann :.
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rh Yr THE ,p,,oprp or, rvpr p.
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GGorgG Eliot;
~ IL \ ~ -NhLHi SIN by Florence Mar
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ander DuMHfs.., ,,-,>-nrun-,. ,r,n
90, No; y. IliE WANDERING HEIR. BY
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81. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS BY Charles
No: THE GREAT ,HoGGARrY OLA
| MVNi1; by W VI. hn4GkCraY' - ,,.,,,,rr,t,
- No; TX NE - RGEONo DAIGHIER
NHi b. HlL2Ai OR THE F,ALsE vow vow
r. msr!o''e W. fr'eil'e' author Vi DOE"
No.:5. GRANDFATHER's CHAIR. By
N2thamlel HON n9rhS: r,r, ,,nox D..
Jules Verne; :, n,o>.,.,.,.,, ,,r,,,,
BY Emerson E ,1pl + pvp,r p. .r,o n,on-
e." NJ r,,p no,,,. ,,,,,, ,p.. ,-o,.
AGE, BY ", Clark hps:sI;n r ,,,,,npop
Ry Charlotte NJ. braeme, author OF Dora
| lNGrhe; ,1r,t-opv nan H., M. r,,,,o
d; f. \. Sontthw9qWA. man ,.ur p..,,,--
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
Colorcd Society Note.
Johusing-Ilas yer darter made her
Mrs. Crow-Not vet, Mr.. Johnsing.

Sam Johusing-IIas yer darter made her
doboot?
Mrs Crow-Not yet, Mr.. Johnsing
Oats great pity. Sich "A lubly flower
was not born ter blush unseen and waste
her fragrance on de desert nil"
she can't blush any odder way except
onseen, she am so dark Completed; but her
sister Mollie am seberal shades lighter.
Yer can almost see her blush ON dark
day.'-TeXas Siftiugs.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

Insurance Agent-Haye you your house
insured against 1re2
Mrs uolmes-No, sir.
I. A.-Are you not afraid of fires?
Mrs. HI am not, but my husband is
very much in awe of them.
J. A.-ThaU SO?
Mrs. H.-Yes During the 10 years of
our married life he has never once kindled
a lirc-Truth.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

There is rush for you today" observed
the silk. you will be made much of.
THAT depends" answered the dress
goods, whether they use me for sleeves or
only for the gown. Truth. .c
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

Bridesmaid poor, frightened dHr-
ling! You looked scared TO death at the
,ltar.
Bride-Yes. George trembled SO | was
dreadfully afraid he'd lose courage and run
away.-New York Weekly.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
Worse and Much More Common.

as this all the steak the butcher sent"
asked Mr. Grimley as he sat down to din
ncr
Yes" replied his wife.
"Why, | ordered three pounds"
II know it. It's too bad. It's regular
highway robbery"
No" he answered.; cts worse'n that.
It's low weigh robbery. "-Chicago Tribune.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

Teacher-Boy, what is a PENINSULA
Boy-A point of land extending into the
water.
Teacher-Good! What's strait?
Boy--Ace, king queen, jack and ten spot.
New York World.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

Our Clubbing List includes all papers and
magazines published Only those most fire.
quently asked for are printed in our list, but
others may be had on application.
Subscribers may have more than ono
paper from this clubbing list. Always send
a stamp for reply when asking about this, as
we do all this work at no profit in order to
accommodate our subscribers.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
A GENEROUS MAN.

He Was willing to Sell Anything Up to q
Whole State.
While the stage horses were being
changed a man who had been following
the vehicle for the last three miles on a
pony becboncd me aside and said
stranger, want you to listen to me
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

paper and bound in paper covers. They are
sold regularly at retail for ten cents each. so
tpat our offer enables our readers To buy them
az onethird Of their value. 1t is a change TO
SECURE standard, hign-class works Of fiction az
merely nominal cost
, One of the above coupons will be published
In every issue of tho FREE PRESS for ona
month.
We make this liberal offer whereby some VI
the best woEks of fiction in the English lam
gnage may be secured by our readers for the
merest trihe OF expense, in order to increase
our circulation. Our present readers will
greatly oblige us by calling the attention
Of their friends to the fact that by buying
the Free Press they can secure the advan-
tagcs of cur great book oher. address
The Free Press.
Burlington, VT.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
Weekly Free Press

Gives 81 columns every
week for IA year Sl.OO. No
other paper in Vermont can
say this; no other paper
gives so much news as the
FREE PRESS.
You have a neighbOr who does
not take the FREE PRESS
possibly be bOrr0wS yOur
cOpy-send us his name and
we will send him sample
copy OF the best Weekly
paper in Vermont, 81 col
umns Of news week, 81
year. :
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
Readers Of this
Paper

at price that brings this
marvellous collection easily
within the reach of all. 10
cents and two coupons for
each portfolio.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

To any one who will send us the following
Coupon accompanied by Ten Cents in sill
yer we will send postpaid by mail Any Three
Books to be selected by yourself from the
list printed below:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
For Your instruction
and Entertainment.

Gerome goes to Egypt.
Bridgemen to Algiers, Alma
Tadema to Ancient Greece,
Breton to Brittany, Millet to
srbizon, Church to the An
des, Bierstadt to Yosemite,
J. q. Brown to the Streets
of New York, Goubie TO the
Bots de Boulogue, Meis-
sonier to the battle fields of
Napoleon, and Detaille to
those of the Franco Prussian
War-Mak art has trans
ported himself to the days
of Charles V, and Morreau
to the time of Louis XIV.
1t has remained only for
the publishers Of
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31

His Book Is an Almanac, and 1t Is Brim
Full of Jokes--CarI Gives Few Exam
ina
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
Famous Paintings
of the w orld0

to gather together, with the
cooperation of living artists,
the most interesting, the
most varied, and the best
of all tn at these and other
artists have produced, and
10 offer them to
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1894-05-31
Every Great Artist
Is Your
Especial Artist"
Burlington, VT

and you have only to sit at
home and in their pictures
read their reports Of how all
the world lives, acts, dress
es, what its peculiar customs
are and have been in every
age.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
advertisement.
A REPLY TO MAYOR HOLLAND.

MAYOR r. N. HoLLAND-DEAR SIR -
was somewhat surprised to find letter
written in pretended spirit OF fairness
addressed to me, and delivered. not in an
envelope. but in public Journal. 1t
seems to me that spirit OF kindness would
have suggested = different and more an
proprlate method of communication. We
meeting and shaking hands every day
but foregoing criticism for the present Of
your peculiar method of approaching a
your scheme of settling our claim to nub,
lie favor for the causes and reasons follow.
ing:
1st. Neither of us have any claim To
public favor by reason of SeinG LAWYERS or
OF being residents of the town or 6istrict
of Marietta
End. Neither of US can rightfully claim
as against any other district in the county
seat IN the next General Assembly. or
any special preference over those districts
by reason of our residence. Acworth
Roswell, Powder Springs, Austell Smyrna.
Middleton, and otner towns. as well az dis
trlcts having no towns, have men within
their borders as capable as we. probably
better qualified, for the duties of Repre-
sentative than either of US, and these
towns and districts can with the same
pfopriety set up the same exclusive claim
tor their town or district that you set I'D
for Marietta
ORD. 1t is true that as a rule Marietta has
hao one representative and the II districts
hao the other representative. | am not
prepared to say this is right, while that
mas been true, the other IA districts had a
voice IN selecting the Marietta man.
4th. For the foregoing reasons l decline
your proposition to leave our candidacy to
the Marietta district, but will agree that
II the Executive Committee will csll a
primary for the whole county, for the 21st
OF July. | will go into it with you, and in
case you get more Votes than do, I will
not be candidate in the general primary.
Which meets in August; and if / should
get more votes than you, will expect you
to retire. agree to this with the under~
standing that said primary is to be held in
the usual way, and to be presided over by
the Executive Committee If you agree
to this, let me know at once so that I can
prepare for the race.
Question. entered into the race
TOR the Legislature, do you intend to re.
sign the office you now hold? If go, when2
Or are you going to try to hold both offices
at the same time? You having Just been
elected to the high and responsible Office
OF Mayor of Marietta, and that after very
hot contest, it strikes me you should be
content at least for the present to erapple
with the duties of that responsible posi>
ton. an slow to believe that your
efforts to capture the Mayoralty of Marietta
in December last was simply to use the
machinery of growing city to further
political designs or selfish purposes. 1
concede that you have the legal right to
aspire to any office in the gift Of the peo>
pie, but good taste would suggest that you
let one go before you aspire to another.
Yours respectfully, J. E. MOTLEY.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

1t is passing strange that the la
boring people who voted the Demo,
cratic ticket two years ago, so that
they could buy clothing, provisions,
etc., cheap, now demand protection
wages for their labor. Did they
think that everything else would be-
come cheaper and wages remain as
high as ever? Oh, no, that is not
the WY that free trade works.
Upton. Ind Advocate, (Rep.)
As the Democrats have no: passed
any tariff bill and McKinley's high
protective tariff law is still in force,
it would seem that your mythical
''laboring people" ought to have
sense enough to know it. If they
havn't got what they want, It is be.
cause Republican laws are still in
operation. If"protection" protects,
why is it that ''labor" is not reward
Ell with.higher wages? You seem to
recognize a condition of things that
Republican laws, now in force, are
responsible tor. You practically
condemn your own party.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
KEEP COOL.

This is mighty hot weather for
people to get hot over politics.
Some people get so worked up and
excited, that they think the country
is going to the demnition bow-wows,
if the man they favor ia not nomi,
uated or elected, consequently in
their rage and disappointment, they
say all manner of foolish things as
to what they are going to do in the
way of revenge, then when they
cool off and reason returns to its
throne, they come to the conclusion
they have been too hasty and are
sorry tor what they have said. Po-
litical strife is going to run high
this year and the best thing you can
do is to keep cool and not tear your
undergarment. Whether you get
your man or the other fellow gets
his, you will not know any differs
ence In the administration of the
government. You will have to
work tor a living, or sponge it off OF
some one else, and pay your taxes,
and work the roads and obey the
laws of your country. He that
ruleth his tongue is greater than he
that taketh city. Keep cool, and
then your political perspiration wont
worry you SC.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

The attacks made on Judge Co.
Der, because of his recent visit to
Savannah, where he was Hospitality
entertained for day by Elem Du-
Bignon, would suggest that the
judges of Superior Courts should be
careful not to go beyond the limits
of the judicial circuits during this
campaign without providing them
selves with certificates establishing
the non-political significance of their
movements. These being exhibited
to the alert Evans outposts, all will
be well.-Columbus Euquirer-Sun.
Just 50. The Judge is thinking
about going on a fishing frolic, and
if the Atlanta papers hear of it, they
are informed in advance that there
is nothing political in it, and it is
hoped they will not get uuduly. ex-
cited aboutit.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
OLINVILLE.

Miss May Barker, of Elizabeth,
visited Miss Helen Black last week.
Miss Carrie Hapey, OF Woodstock,
and Miss Lula Dobbs, of Powder
Springs, are visiting the family of
Mr.. r. Poss.
The revival at this place is still
going on and doing much good.
Mr.. Win Wallace and wife, OF
Ducktown, Tenn, are visiting his
mother at this place.
Messrs. FELTON, Scoggins and
Henry Hotten, of Atlanta, visited
friends and relatives here Sunday.
One of Mr.. J. S. Mathis children
has been very i'll this week.
The vile of Mr.. Chas. Williams
is very sick with typhoid fever.
SELAH.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
WILL SWEEP THE STATE,

"The democrats will sweep the
state by 10000 or $4,000 majority
this fall" said Hon. Steve Clay at
the Central hotel Monday night.
"And why shouldn't we? Have
the peoples party any real tounda>
ton for dissatisfaction with the
democrats in Georgia Since 1870,
when the party gained the suprema-
cy, up to the present day, we have
had a clean progressive record in
the public Offices Of the state. The
governors who have sat in the chair
since 10, have all been able and in
telligent men, and so on down
through the list. The state debt in
1870 was s18,000,0OO and it has
been wiped out; the value of taxable
property has increased 5 per cent,
and tell you, sir, that we have got
the grandest ard most prosperous
country in the south. No, the third
party will not have that enthusiasm,
which characterized their first cam
paign, and after this election is over,
they. will be SO badly whipped that
it will be dead issue here" Rome
Tribune.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
DESERVING PRAISE.

We desire to say to our citizens, that for
years we have been selling DR.. King New
Discovery for Consumption, DR.. Kings
New Life Pills, Bucklen's Arnica Salve
and Electric Bitters, and have never ham
died remedies that sell as well, or that have
given such universal satisfaction. We do
not hesitate to guarantee them every time,
and we stand ready to refund the purchase
price, if satisfactory results do not follow
their use. These remedies have won their
great popularity purely on their merits.
J. D. Malone Druggist.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

To the Voters of Cobb County Il
hereby announce myself candidate for
the Legislature to represent Cobb in the
next General Assembly, subject to the
Democratic nomination, August 18th.
If honored with the nomination and
elected, I promise faithful and diligent
services in the interests of the people.
WILLIAM NJ. FREY.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

To the Voters of Cobb County--I here's
by announce myself as candidate for
Representative in the next session of the
General Assembly, subject to the Demo-
cratic primary to be held August 18th. =
R. N. HOLLAND.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
JNO. A. MANGET.
REAL ESTATE & INSURANCE.

Al
BRANTLEY
sion, which s with
Accident While
solicited
shall receive attention. Respectfully
Marietta May 1894. A. NGAHIGET-
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

To the Voters of Cobb county Il here
by announce myself as a candidate for
Representative in the next session of the
General Assembly, subject to the Demo>
cratic primary to be held August 18th
JOHN AWTRY.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

Judge Hamilton McWhorter, of
the Northern Circuit, has resigned,
to enter the race for Congress from
the eight district, against Congress-
man Lawson.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

To the Voters of Cobb county Il
am candidate for Representative in the
next General Assembly, subject to the
Democratic primary on August 18th.
Having served you once, if nominated
and elected / promise to use my best
energies to promote every interest of tbs
people of Cobb county.
J. E. MOTLEY.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
Offices Closed Until Fall,
Announcements.

To the Voters of Cobb County Il
announce myself candidate for Repre-
sentative from this county in the next
session of the General Assembly, subject
to the Democratic primary to be held
August 18th, next
]. H. CANTRELL
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

Governor Tillman says that DUR
ing the short time that the State of
Souh Carolina was running the H.
quor business it made 100000 clear
money and has s98, 900 worth of whis-
ky on hand and that the whisky sold
had no headaches in it.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

The contest in Bibb county last
Thursday between the Evans and
Atkinson forces, is said to have
been the hottest election in tina.
county in twelve years. Atkinson
carried the county by 618 majority.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

One of the very best, newsiest
and ablest papers we receive at this
office, is the Columbus Enquirer.
Sun, and Mr.. B. H. Richardson has
made it SO. We are glad to note
that Mr.. Richardson has bought the
paper, which insnres that it will
continue to be success.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

If the owners of railroads agree
TO sell, where ara the Populists GO
ing to get the money to buy with /?
# they decline to sell, do the Popu-
lists purpose to take possession by
force Sparta Ishmaelite.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

AN Anarchists plot has been
discovered in Washington to blow
up the capitol with dynamite, in
conjunction with the Coxey move
ment. Honoro J. Jackson, of
Chicago, is the leader. The detec.
tives have kept posted and have the
name Of every man in the ,conspi-
racy.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

The door of the democratic home
stead swings wide upon easy hinges.
10 enter in, sit by the old hearth
and hear the familiar voices of tried
friends and party kinsmen, the err
rant voter has no need to knock.
His place is there, ready for him ::
and he may sit as one OF the family,
without raunt and without question
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21
MARIETTA GA,
THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE IL, 1894

The gubernatorial vote stands,
Evans "a, Atkinson 1876.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

The large barn of DR.. II. B. Har-
per, who lives on the Elbertou Air
Line road between Dewey Rose and
Bowman, was entirely destroyed by
lire one night last week. The barn,
together with all its contents, con-
sisting OF hay, corn, fodder and six
head of horses, was burned. The
barn was new one and cost some
$500. There was no insurance on
it or any Of the contents.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

DIR. Prices Cream Baking Powder
Worlds Fair Highest Medal and Diploma.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

No man has any trouble in pleas
ing God who loves his neighbor as
himself.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1894-06-21

= Controller Of the Currency Eek
els, in on interview a day or two
ago., said the whole country was
waiting tor the passage Of the tariff
bill before entering upon a period
OF exceptional activity. "There is
more actual money in the banks
now" said he, ethan ever before in
the history otthe system" As soon
as the basis for business is settled by
the passage of the tariff bill, this
money will 60 out in streams to set
the wheels Of industry to work.
Eat this time last year." said Mr..
Eckels, "hardly day passed with.
out a failure to>day a failure is an
exception. This indicates the fnsn.
cfal condition of the country.