The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-01-27
THE ART OF CONVERSATION.
Some Suggestions to Those Who De
sire to Excel in 1t.
From Good Housekeeping.


A talent for conversation has an extra
ordinary value for common, every day
life. Any one who has the gift enters in
a social circle anywhere. How every
cne's face brightens at his coming! How
soon he sets all the little wheels in mo-
ton, encouraging the resources of the re-
served and shy, substituting facile, and
making everybody glad ana happy! As
civilization ripens and the social life i'm
proves, so language continually assumes
new and higher forms, ana conversation
which is sort of radiation to the intel
lect-~gives luster which no other form
OF expression can to the higher develop
ments of our intellectual moral nature
Our language is not merely expressive of
our wants-it is communicative of ideas
and impulses that satnd far above all ma
terial things-a streaming out of the soul
OF man to make common cause with his
fellows.
To converse well is not to engross the
conversation. 1t is not TO do all the talk
ing. 1t is not necessary to talk with very
great brilliancy. A man may talk with
such surprising power and splendor as to
awe the rest of the company into silence.
or'to excite their envy, and so produce a
chill where his aim should be to produce
heat and sunshine. Those who aspire to
the enjoyment of "feast Of reason and a
tows OF soul" must learn TO listen pa
tiently, and without betraying an anxiety
to speak themselves, or patronizing con-
descenslon to the speaker. We are all a
little eEotistical, but in the moment we
betray il we become obnoxious.
Conversation is like a game of see-saw,
as one goes up another goes down, but the
game is over in an instant if the two ends
are upNat the same time. The moment,
therefore, that a person essays to speak,
give way, no matter what good thing you
may have ready at the moment. If in the
midst of a narrative which you are relat-
ing some bore should break in with an
interruption TO displGce you, let him have
his way at once; suspend your dialogue
and let him go on, and he will unless
hard as granite, feel your forbearance to
be greater blow to his rudeness than if
you were to persevere. A person so break
ing the thread of another's discourse de-
serves severe rebuke, and you will find
none so severe, so salutary, as a polite
yielding at ouce-not sulkily and with a
frown, hut with fullest disposition TO hear
him patiently and to enjoy his obtrusive
nonsense
Self possession must be cultivated by
the conversationalist, that he may not
run away headlong and say many things
that he may afterwards regret. This is
the source of that gentlemanly reserve
which distinguishes the man of refine
ment from the mere bore, and begets that
patience in listening and that generous
spirit of appreciation which makes a
speaker feel as much pleased with his
hearers as with himself file should seek
the art of making others feel quite at
home with him, so that no matter
how great may be his attachments
or reputation, or how small may be
theirs, they find it just as natural and
pleasant talking to him as hearing him
talk The talent for conversation, in
deed, more than anything else in life, re-
quires tact and discretion. It requires
one to have more varied knowledge, and
to leave it at instant and absolute dis
posal, so that he can use just as much or
just as little as the occasion demands.
1t requires the ability to pass instantly
and with ease from the playful to the
serious, from books to men, and from the
mere phrase of courtesy to the express
sion of sentiment and passion.