davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

This article cannot attempt to place
the blame. IL will present the facts
and sound the alarm. Each day that
passes is fraught with danger. The
few remaining perfect tablets are more
precious, resting intact as they do
among so much OF deflement, deface-
ment ana Destruction.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

The vital fact is now reached, and
the cat is out Of the bag. With this
and force the interior of
the greatest monument ever erected by
men TO man Is insuficiently policed and
hence these acts OF vandalism, which
are rapidly completing a ruin already
far advanced. The whole truth must
be bluntly and brutality told u those
who have the right Co know 1.-THE
whole people Of America.
Let it be stated right here, once for
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

Clo,hisy and Furnishsr.
Won Blumer-The boxes in the new
opera house are shaped like bath tubs.
Plankington-Ump! when my wife
gets ia one, the effect will be quite
realistic,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

IT WILL PAY you to take Hoods Sar-
saparila. With pure blood you need
not fear the grip, pneumonia, diphthe-
ria or fevers. Hoods Sarsaparilla will
make you strong and healthy.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

A careful examination shows that
twenty-five tablets set 10 the interior
walls were stained and spotted when
they emerged from the old shed to be
fitted into their final abiding inches.
But now comes the disgraeefu fact
that of the l56 other tablets less than
half are to-day In good or fair condi-
tion. About eighty are in such sorry
plight as to bring the indignant blood
20 the face OF any citizen OF the United
States. Here are the facts:
CAUSES OF DESTRUCTION.
Forty Of the chief works Of art
patiently carved in purest marbles and
stones have been since February 21,
1855, deliberately defaced by cUrio
seekers. Remember that the greatest
seulptoIs of the century in many lands,
ared by the Inspiration Of the tran
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

HOOPS PILLs are purely vegetable,
CAREFULLY prepared from the best ingre-
0ienxs. csc.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

all, that from Custodian Hawkins and
his ten subordlnates the Herald receiv-
ed courteous replies, with almost mill
tarY precision. Their names and posi-
tions are as follows
Custodian-John Hawkins.
Chief Engineer-F. NJ. Stromberger.
Assistant Engineer-F. A. Graves.
Elevator Men-John E. Evans aud c.
II. II. ReintLel.
Floor Msu-Charlss 7. Torres and
James Z. Talbot. y
Flremsn-J Joseph E. Scoggins and w.
f. Jones'
watchmea-John G. Thomas and Jer-
emiah Crawley.
DO ALL THEY CAN.
The entire force is to be commended
for the. care exercised toward the pub
lie. Ala is do he that can DO done. but
With on 1ooplman a. the bottom. one
at The ahd City galleries. and the
elevate IS Aag no p0ins in the shaft
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

10 gentleman viii ever place bis sru>
up}a tho tsbis either before, duTias, or
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

NeyeN drum With the fingers upon
the tabN or with the feet upon the
~Bette ia q dinner Of herbs where
love i aa stalled OK and hatred
therewfl
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

- tbirdk block on the gallery 200
60, bfob IRE thus detled. Some are
SaSscsd JeAond recognition. Many,
80 noa,I Ne defaced By black spots
from the oil Ssed in the elevator ma
ehinery. Va
The followIl ISL shows TIE injury
done 70 some: - ~,
Grand Lodg 70" AotN-D-''y
eu GysSs llo1qs inia-- Fair eOndi-
''q Grand loA,. pama-wsAther
Grand Lodge 'T0Oa conoi-
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02
4 PAEApIsE FuLL or sxAKEs.

President Township is a magnificent
place for snakei. Here they grow and
thrive, and raise their large families
undisturbed save once year when
Peter Gruber and DIR. Reynolds pay
their regular visit. After all there is
no true happiness in this world. The
snake hunters bring wagon with
them, which they take away chuck full
of rattlers. They also bring with them
two big jars Of prime whisky. merely as
an antidote. 1t does happrn some times
that Pete is bitten, and then the only
cure is whiskeY. Arriving 90 the ground
and ready for action the hunters lose
no time. They wear rubber boots, for.
as Peter sageIy remarks, Although
rattlers sound . warning. there are
others that are troacherous. aud would
as soon strike the calf Of the visitors
leg as anywhere else"
The modus operandi IS generally thus:
The doctor carries forked stick, and
when he sees q RATHER presses pin
against the ground With IL, where1pon
Pete. with dexserIty begotten Of png
practice. seIzes It By the back ofifhe
head snd holds it up for the DOOR %
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-12-02

and squirrels. On slabs projecting from
the troughs such names are deeply en-
graved in large letters as Horses
Delight" Travellers Rest" sylvan
Fountain" and Wood Nymphs' Re-
treat" though almost needless to state
very few horses and no wood nymphs
that any one has seen up to date have
enjoyed the pleasures prepared for them
by Mr.. Clapp. who, 1t may be stated
incidentally, was delegate to the Ma
.loual Republican Convention that NOM
mated Mr.. Harrison in 1892.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

mad undergone the mysterious process
known only to the subtle promoter who
capitalizes a small enterprise into a CO.
iossal one by the hocus-pocus of the
%'street."
Never in his life had Mr.. Trott
claimed the society of the capricious
Miss Monroe on one of those bright af-
ternoous but what Mr.. Messersch midi
could be seen in his gorgeous turnout
riding insolently alongside or else TAX
ing the road, in manner even more
ansolent, just in front This gentle
tlemau's presence was not only OBJ
truded upon them at these times. but
he seemed to divine by diabolical in.
stinct just when and where to find
them together If Mr.. Trott took Miss
Monroe to the theater, the other party
invariably had a seat nearby, which he
would change for one Immediately
NEXT to the couple, and engage them in
conversation with n mild, insinuating
assurance that used to irritate the
young lawyer to the point of insanity.
When he took Miss Monroe to the art
museums favorite ruse of his to get
her away from possible intruders--his
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

The train had stopped at a station
and several men had alighted, as was
their custom, to stretch their legs on
the platform, and when it started
again one of the men, who had strayed
little too far off, was left behind.
In minute or two there was loud
scream and a woman rushed up to the
conductor and exclaimed excitedly:
''You left my husband behind at that
last stationl'
Never mind, madam" replied the
official; calm yourself. We shall be
at Chicago in three hours and then you
can get another husband. Judge.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

"sister," said the little boy, will
you please make me lot of biscuit
like those you gave us for breakfast
the other day?"
Sister was touched. They were the
first cheering words Johnny had spok-
en- to her in a long time.
Certainly" she answered. Are
you going to have a party?"
mo; l wanted to try them in my
new slung shot. "-Washington Star.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

ubiquitous rival was there also, suave,
calm, entertaining, agonis1ng!
Accidentally his eyes rested on the
polished oak cover Of his typewriter in
the corner, and he smiled bitterly at
the associations conjured up by that
implement of modern correspondence.
Well he remembered certain morn
ing when Miss Monroe took it into her
capricious head to visit him at his pala-
tial quarters-as he had represented
them to her in order to keep pace with
the plutocratic Messerschmidt AS
usual, that worthy was tagging placid
ly at her side.
Mr.. Trott shuddered with retrospect
i've horror as he thought of the hide
Gus catastrophe OF that visit, and pic
tltred the scene before him There
was Alice, as blooming and richly
handsome as Jacqueminot rose, radi-
ating a delicate perfume, like the
flower itself, which fairly intoxicated
the young lawyer. The complaisant
and phlegmatic Messerschmjdt nearby
wore his usual smile of vacant urban.
ity, but in his small gray eye shone the
light of a demoniacal triumph and as
re watched Alice sweep the office with
her keen eyes and gather in every
shabby detail of the Office, from the
bare floor to the dilapidated desks, he
visibly eXulted at the disgust in her
counteuance Then she spoke. She had
just dropped in TO pay her respects as
she passed the building. She was de-
lighted to find his quarters so COM
fortable-lool1ing! Then Messerschmidt
shifted at the atmosphere like way
horse that scents the aroma of battle
afar Uncrringly those little gray eyes
fastened upon the cover of Mr.. Trotts
typewriter.
What make of typewriter do you
prefer Mr. Trott?" asked Mr.. Messer-
schmidt, innocently raising the cover
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
SHE KEPT A VARIED SUPPLY.
No Need for Him to Go to Drug Stor
for Poison.

No Need for Him to Go to u Drug store
for Poison.
At eight O. clock the other evening a
bareheaded plainly-dressed woman
about forty-fve years of age walked
into Grand River avenue drug store
and asked:
Has a man been in here within an
hour and asked for poison?"
NO, ma am" was the reply.
Rather small man, with a red goatee
and freckled face?"
Il DON remember any such man"
"Got squeaEy voice, and he'd tell
YOU that he was tired OF life and longed
for reSt?'
'No; no such man has been in here,
ma am.
well, he may come. It's my hus-
band. Every week or two he tries to
bluff me, and when he finds he can t
do it he threatens to poison himself.
He went away this morning saying
would read of his death in the evening
papers"
"Yes'm."
You'll know him the minute he
walks in. He'll ask you for arsenic
ten cents worth of arsenic"
"Yes'm."
Hell begin to blow about me while
you are putting it up saying as how |
make life miserable and full of VICE.
and that he has decided to de-
"Yes'm."
Then he'll begin to shed tears and
claw off and say perhaps he'd better
make one more effort to live with me,
and the result will be that he'll walk
out and leave you ten cents out of
pocket"
II see. I'll be on watch for him"
Eyes, you'd better. He's played that
trick on every druggist within mile
of here. keep laudanum and rough
on rats and strychnine in the house all
the time, besides three or four ropes
stout enough for him to hang himself,
and there's no earthly need of his beat
ing drug store. He just does it to get
sympathy and have a chance to say
that bought four ten-cent novels in
one week"
Il see."
IF he comes just grab him, turn
him around and lift him outdoors and
I'll be very much obliged to you, and
it may help to make a better man OF
him. Good evening. "-Detroit Free
Brcss.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
PUMGENT PARAGRAPH

-Wife-''What are you comingihome
at this time in the morning for@k Hus-
band-'Brek fush. detroit Tribune.
-'Why did Ethel Robinson parry
Harold Smithers, | wonder?" 'She
admired his monogram. 1t lodss so
like the dollar sign. pazar.
-May-"They say Miss Stedey, of
Chicago, gives a great deal the
poor" Bell-"What does she I;ve?"
May-"Hcr, old shoes. IN. Y. Iirald.
-She-''I must ask you to 4lease
me from our engagement. Paja has
failed" He-"O, that's albright.
am the man who won all his Money"
indianapolis Journal
Two of a Kind -NIistress{ Brid-
get, l don't want you to gos 1T this
evening"" Maid-"Nathere Path
rick, mem; he's coming t. " me,
mem. detroit Free Press
Too True.-First Girr-uChape-
rones are more averse to engagements
than any one else, don't yod think
so?" Second Girl-"No; according to
my observations men are. "-Truth.
-Hicks-"What a curious acting
chap Aberrate is! Sometimes + think
his mind cannot be right" Wicks-
Don't you think it too bad to I time it
on his mind?'-Boston Transcr t.
II suppose Won have beensf oping
all day again" said Mr.. SnaA 20 his
wife at the supper table. ~ sup
nose Won have bp.t,. Gkss..s.sr
again" retorted she, sts5urgb
Chronicle.
-Merchant-'T believe we ought to
get more than fifty cehts yard for
that goods" Shtewd Clerk
There's just one wa! to do it."
'How?" Cut it up in fragments and
sell it on the remnant counter. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Worse Yet.-Bill the Bomb thrower
(waiting for the group 10 assemble
There won be many Of us here to-
night. It's rainin' pitehiorlks, Dyna-
mite Dicll-"R ainin' pitclforks? Great
Scott! It's rainin' soapsuis!" chicago
Tribune.
No" said Mrs Blive1s, in reply to
her little daughters besteching for a
little sister; no, we can't afford new
baby" But" persisted the child
won't the doctor make reduction il
you take twins?"-Pittsburgh Chron-
icle.
--Longwed (meditativ 1.-THE man
who refuses to take no fer an answer
may be blooming bright Dr. he may be
BANKED chump." Neybor-''Speak-
ing from personal experience" Long
'Er-I was just thinking of my
numerous proposals to Mrs. Longwed.' -
Buffalo Courier.
-"Fangle-"Young Barlow has Sc
lected his vocation" Cumso-''What
is his choice?" Fangle-"He has de-
cided to become a poet" Cumso-
Nonsense, What qualifications has
he?" Fangle-"ie has one very i'm
portant qualification. Cumso-''Name
it." Fangle-''An assured income. -
Harper's Bazaar.
-"What do you think Of this social.
istic idea that people should receive
pay in proportion to the effort they put
forth?" Its utterly impracticable.
Why, under such rule. that gil. next
door who is trying to be a sa3ranc
singer would be entitled to about 81, 00C
a day. "-Iudianapolis journal.
-Tommy-''I guess you'd better clean
the spots off my Sunday suit to-day?'
Mamma-"Why. dear?' "'Cause Rob
bic Jones mother is going to give big
party tonight" Mamma-''Well, it's
only for ladies and gentlemen. 81
know; but she always invites her Sun
day-school class in to eat up the
ScraDS inter Ocean
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

The Coptic patriarch of Alexandria
is never allowed to sleep more than
fifteen minutes at any one time, and if
the attendant should allow the holy
ones nap to extend beyond the allot-
ted time the penalty is decapitation.
Upon being aroused at the end of each
quarter hour the patriarch arises and
spreads his rug upon the floor, llneels
upon it, bows his head three times to
the east and then again retires.
Louis Republic.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

Suddenly he threw his cigar from
him and exclaimed:
Hang it! What do l care? I'll
hunt her up and call for the sole pur-
pose of showing her that"
His vehemence came to an abrupt
stop. He started erect and listened,
like man transfiXed, to the sound of
a soft, anxious voice in the other office,
that was inquiring:
SIS this lawyers of1ice?"
Yes, madam" returned Mr. Trott's
partner, affablv. What can we do for
you?"
az wish to get divorce" said a
voice. more tinidly still, and trembling
on the verge of tears. My husband is
wretch"
Mr., Trott interrupted the speech
radiant, precipitate, his voice vibrating
with unmistakable JOY.
Alice" he cried, as he opened the
door with a rush.
The young lady rose in establishment
at the figure before her.
is it possib le?" she faltered.
He took her hand and drew her in.
side his Office with gentle force, leav-
ing his mystifed partner staring speech
.eSsly at the vacated chair.
What has he been doing to YOU
Alice?' cried Mr.. Trott, holding her
hand and looking as vindictive as a
Corsican.
Hes been deserving me-" she said,
with faint hysterical laugh, but with
relieved look in her eyes, like a hunt
ed fawn that has found a protector.
What, that Misunderstanding moon
faced idiot
WAS a horrid, despicable scoun-
drel!" retorted Mrs. Messerschmidt,
with appropriate tact
And then while Mr.. Trott listened
and held her hand-she poured forth a
tale of such heartrending cruelty that
he wept also
'Did you ever hear anything like it,
Wilber?" she asked, appealingly, con-
tracing his name as she used to do
when be had pleased her.
Mr.. Trott replied with an impulsive
embrace and unexpected kiss.
But am Mrs. Slesserschmidt!" she
exclaimed, in demure alarm, drawing
from him.
That's SOL said Mr.. Trott, soberly.
The disability will have to be re-
moved before a prior courtship can be
reinsta ted-ahem' BY the way, Alice,
have you seen my new typewriter"
uncovering the machine with a mis-
chievous grin. What do you think of
it?"
at doesn't look as palatable as the
old one, Wilber," she said, laughing,
and drying her tears.
But it isn't nearly as embarrassing"
he returned. Your petition for abso-
lutte divorce shall be prepared upon it
without alimony!-for l wouldn't
touch cent of his oleaginous money,
confound him.
'Just as you say, Wilber," she said
resignedly, dropping her eyes with a
blush
And Mr.. Trott's partner in the outer
Office took his eye from the keyhole and
observed contentedly:
"Pisness is poomingp
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
Not TO Blame.

Tenant-See here! That house you
rented me is infested with rats. Ev-'
cry night we are walked up by the
racket.
Agent-That's very strange. The
last tenant never said a wore about
rats.
"Well, then. of course you are not to
blame"
mo. The people who lived there
before never complained of anything
except ghosts. IN. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

and disclosing-not typewriter-but
the meager and unsightly remains OF
some corned beef and cabbage on
which Mr.. Trott had been dining.
That had been five years ago, and
Mr.. Trott had not tasted a dish of
corned beef and cabbage since. The
odor of that barbarous mixture used
thereafter to make him both sick at his
stomach and sick at heart-he, who
had once been so fond of it!
Messerschmidt married her that fall,
but Mr. Trott had never called upon
them since the event.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
A Landlord in Gloom.

Wife-Who was that who called?
Husband-One of my tenants came
to pay his rent.
Ibid he pay iG?"
"N'es."
'"Then why do you look so gloomy"
"Rs didn't say word about wanting
five or SIX hundred dollars worth of re-
pairs"
What of it?"
THAT shows that he's going to
leave."-N. Y. Weekly.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

Penn Inkley-I think shall try my
hand at magazine poetry.
Faber-Do you think you are capa-
BILE? You know magazines require
something more than rhymes.
Penn Inkley (enthusiastically)-Ca-
pable. Why, it's just in my line! I've
been running the puzzle department of
our paper for years.-Puck.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

What queer fellow you arel At
one time you are exceedingly jolly
and at another quite down in the
dumps. You never seem able to hit
the happy mean"
How can l help it? When my heart
is heavy my purse is light, and when
my purse is heavy my head is light. -
Troy Budget.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

Henry, dear, have you had hard
dayP You look tired. There are your
slippers right by the fire."
maria, please don't let this go any
further. can't afford so much devo-
ton this year. Collections are slow
and you simply can't have that"
"Brutep'
That's better. think can live up
to that title without going bankrupt"
N. Y. Recorder.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
Amending the Motion.

He was small man, the conductor
of an electric car, and she was large,
powerful-lool1ing woman.
81 want you to put me off at Dundas
street." said she.
He viewed her majestic figure for a
moment and replied
Madam, will stop the car and let
you get off. Toronto Empire.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

Office Boy-Mr. Gayman sent me to
tell you not to keep dinner waitin' fur
i'm this evenin'. He's got to go to the
lodge on important business.
Mrs. Gayman-To the lodge? o, yes.
He is going to ride the goat" sup
pose?
Office Boy-No, don't think it's a
goat. l heard i'm tellin' Mr.. Quick
step he was goin' out on little lark.
Chicago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
A Firm Foundation.

The lady had implied a doubt as to
the statement of the dairyman.
Madam" he said, indignantly, my
reputation rests upon my butter"
WELL" she replied, testify, you
needn't get ugly about it. The founda-
ton is strong enough to keep it up for
ever. "-Detroit Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

Hell assure you l would never dare
to rob those sweet lips OF kiss.
She-You hypocrite! Didn't you at
tempt it last night?
He-Never! Far from intending to
rob you Of a kiss, was trying to give
you one.-Truth.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
Where the Shoe Hurt.

Gussie-Yes, Miss Goldmore Is a
stunning girl; but don't think much
of her father.
Cholly (who has called)-Yes, he's no
gentleman; and he's brute to boot
Puck.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
A Celestial Clock.

Wynn Wordsworth has invented and
constructed a very ingenious celestial
clock" The entire face of the clock
rotates under a wire bar, representing
the equatorial horizon, and is regulated
to perform one revolution in twenty
three hours, fifty-six minutes, four
seconds, this being the time in which
the earth turns once upon its axis. The
apparent annual motion of sun, moon
and planets in the opposite direction is
effected by movable pins, while the
north and south polar stars, that do
not rise or set for us, revolve stimuli
taneously with the rest by separate
movement Thus may be seen the en-
tire heavens. with sun, moon, planets
and considerations in their actual
places, ever rising and setting, as they
rise and set in the heavens.-PaH Mall
Budget.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

"If Theodore Thomas is musician"
said Banks, why is it that nobody ever
saw him play cornet, for instance?"
He doesn't have to-" said Rivers.
He can always find some subs to
.oot."-Chicaro Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
lie Saved UD.

you've got a new suit of Clothes"
remarked young Mr.. Madison Square
to Charlie Lovely.
between the ice cream period and the
sleighing epoch, when the young mans
pocletbool1 takes a rest | took adj
vantage Of it to buy myself some fresh
clothes. Texas Siftings.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

Il see that you have been elected q
member of the chamber of deputies,
and | would like to know what policy
you intend to adopt"
''Oh, shall do as the others do. In
other words, am determined not to
swerve one inch from the path of ira
dition. Paris Figaro.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01

what has become of the handsome
young woman who used to be here?"
inquired the regular customer at the
dairy lunch establishment.
(Which handsome young woman"
asked the blonde maiden behind the
counter, acknowledgements Mag
a2iDa
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
Evolution of Football.

Father-How did your football game
result to-day?
Boy-The Bungtowners beat us.
You have always beaten them be-
fore, haven't you?"
Yes, but to-day they had trained
billy goat in their team. Good News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
In the Restaurant.

1.-THE last time I ordered spring
chicken here they brought me thor
oughly matured hen. How do you sup
pose l can get real spring chicken?"
Order a fresh gg,"-Demorest's
MagaZine
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-02-01
The Only Possibility.

"Binkins went out hunting this
morning"
"All alone?'
Eyes, didn't even take dog"
"S'pose he'll kill anything?"
mo. Not unless he gets melancholy
and commits suicide. "-Washington
Star.