The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-07-15
FOR KANSANS ONLY.


| his business to assume knowledge of
everything and everybody. He must be
infallIbe. To fail to know where a place
Is on a map, or to acknowledge that he
could not pronounce any word or name
brought TO him, or TO confess that he did
not know whether a certain official had
been elected In 1890 or 1892, would mean
everlasting disgrace.
One of the duties of the local Scion is
the reading of the latest daily papers
The stone steps of the court house is
usually the forum upon which this Scion
sits while his worshipers gather about
him and listen to him read the latest
news.
OF course the recent strike has been an
important time for this individual.
The Scion of a Butler county town.
from the troubles incipiency, had read
the exciting details of Debs' rebellion TO a
crowd of eager listeners. One particular
morning, he unwrapped the newspaper
and thrilled the crowd with the authorita-
tive announcement which he had taken
from the headline-"Blood in Chicago"
Then he began to read the account:
Chicago, July 6.-Today the state militia
and the rioters met in bloody conflict. The
soldiers fired, killing seven. The dead
are"
The reader paused and looked hard at
the newspaper. Then he cleared his
throat.
"The dead are" And then the speak
er stopped again. Once again he ventured
out:
Gentlemen. the names of the dead are
Michael"
Here the speaker who had never been
known to have ialtered before, halted
again and the crowd began to get restless,
There was good deal OF titteriug and the
disguised Scion set his feet squarely on
the ground. pushed out his chest. comfort
ed his lips and yelled: 1.-The dead are
There was a painful mixture of gurgl-
ing snorts, asthmatlc whsezes and.a splut-
ter from the Solon's mouth aud he fell
over in faint.
Several men caught him up and bore
him away. One of the men who remained
picked up the fallen paper and read to
himself the fatal line ''The Dead are
Michael Standardization, and Anton
Sgztrwdbetwx."
'John." said Topeka woman to her
husband, ''have you seen the Santa Fe
railroad this morning!"
Yes. Why?"
ooh! 1t must be perfectly sickening! Will
they just let it bleed and tester without
doing anything to help it."
Great Scout Mary" yelled the hus-
band, Are you crazy2 What 90 you
meant" Z.
Now don't get excited, John Didn't
just read in the paper that all the scahs
had been pulled off the Santa Fe rail
road :'
'You say" said the sharp lawyer to the
witness under cross-examination, that
you saw this man knock down a 3-story
house with a single blow of the hammer"
'Yes sir. did" said the witness.
Now sir, | want you to tell the jury
how this slight. fraiI man here. engaged in
the easy occupation of making cakes and
p;es-a baker-could knock down 3-story
house,
There's nothing to explain. It was
five years ago. He wasn't baker then.
He was al auctioneer."
Our men are going out on a strike"
said the employer, pale and trembling
Nothing can stop them 1 have begged
them-plesded with them not 20 do il, but
they ere determined"
You say you have tried everything"
spoke up his partner.
Every thing"
well, | say You haven't. I'll fix 'em
Here, goodbye. take the next train for
Chicago. | will see Sovereign and get him
to order them ont They viii never 90 out
then. That'lI fix 'em. Goodbye
Mrs. Lease strobe over TO Mrs. Digs and
glared at her savagely. "You called me a
liar" said Mrs. Lease. Take it back, you
low-lived creature"
Don't you call me names" said Mrs.
Digs You dirty son-ofs- gun-sh-um-
um-thst is to say, properly speaking, you
dirty daughter of a gun"