The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-07-18
andtrsats gHtsIligemesr.
What Constitutes q Good Husband.
Sunday Netrs.

In these days of early summer, when
so many "sweet girl graduate" have
hidden goodbye to school life and are
prepared to take their places in the
social world, a few words Of advice
from the last number of the Luases
Home Journal upon the subject Of
what constitutes good husband may
be of interest and service to them.
For Notwithstanding all that these
fair graduates said in their graduation
essays about the lofty missions of wo-
men in these closing days Of the nine
teenth century, and in spite of the
protestations made by many of them
that marriage IS rot the chief aim
and end Of woman's existence" we
feel convinced that most of them will
marry and become model wives and
mothers, and we are also convinced
that in their heart of hearts they
think so themselves, and that they
would be very sorry to spend the
remainder of their lives in single
blessedness," no matter what emf
nence they might thereby attain in
the world of science, literature or art:
All these things are very fine and
useful, but they never quite satisfy.
the heaven-implanted desire in wo.
mans heart for domestic life and
domestic ties, Since, then, marriage
is inevitable-for all the lovely girls
we have seen graduate in Charleston
within the past few weeks are
"Too fair to be left to braid st. Cathe-
rine's tresses-"
let us hear what the editor Of the
journal has to say to them: Girls,
when they approach the age Of possi-
bic betrothal, are often cautioned by
their parents as to the qualities which
certain young men Of their acquain.
tance possess. ~ ~ " The gil
asks in desperation, what, then, : are
the qualities most likely to insure
happiness to a wife 2 and it is this
question which the editor has caused
to be submitted to eight women of
mind and broad culture, with the re-
suits indicated below"
The first of these answers is from
Mrs, Phelps-Ward, who is known per
sonally to few Of our readers, and by
her writings to them all. In her
judgment: tenderness is the most
essential qualification, but she -ex-
plains that this quality is not to be,
assumed as characteristic because a
man is tender to the girl he loves; all
men who are not idiots or brutes are
that. To discover his real disposition
his fance must examine his home life
and see how he treats his parents,
sisters, and others dependent in some
degree upon his kindness whether
he is habitually thoughtful, kind,
sympathetic, unselash, tender, true
and gentle towards them. If he
stands this test we'll, then girl need
not have much fear of entrusting her
future to his keeping, only she must
see to it that 'she does not let him
outdo her in these qualities for which
she has loved him most and longest. )"
Mary Hallock Foote is the next
speaker and, as one mightexpect from
this writer Of SO many stories of Wes-
tern and soldier life, manliness seems
in her eyes the first quality woman
should desire in her husband. She
very properly distinguishes, however,
between the highest acceptation of
this word, which is its moral and
mental meaning, and the mere manli-
ness which can be measured by inches
and muscles. Because young man
is his colleges champion in rowing,
foot ball or any Of the other athletic
exercises Of the day, that is no reason
for believing he possesses the clear
Judgment to recognize the right and
to hold to it under all circumstances,
and the courage to face ell of good or
i'll which life may have in store for
him. Too often men of great physical
strength are selfish, cruel; and weak
to Withstand the temptations Of their
passions; they "train" for while to
obtain some object, and then relapse
into long periods Of self-indulgence.
Good temper is the trait which 'The
Duchess thinks goes farthest towards
making home life happy, and if we
pause moment to think of a few of
the homes we are best acquainted with,
we will recognize how much reason
there is in her decision. A sunny
disposition in man or woman is a
blessing to everyone who comes within
it's influence, and it is by their bright
smile, merry laugh and serene brow
that we love to recall some Of our dear
ones who have long vanished from our
earthly sight. With good temper, a
kind heart and many of the other vir-
tues are usually combined, although
in some instances it is united with an
Incidence and careless self-indul,
gence that make man utterly good
for nothing so far as earning-.a living
is concerned. With all lour affection
for the genial old Rip Van Wrinkle one
can not help feeling some sympathy
with his wife, and we are not surpris-
ed that her temper and her tongue
sometimes overcame her patience with
him. We can all recall some parallel
cases in real life, but it is usually the
good tempered, good-for-naught hus-
band whom everyone likes and pities,
not the much-sufering wife, while too
often her temper is unjustly consider.
ed the cause instead of the effect of
his worthlessness. The Duchess warns
the wives who have drawn the prize of
a good tempered husband to see that
they do not abuse the gift. "The
sweetest temper in the world can be
ruined. Give him smile for smile and
be sure to bear with him, as he is sure
to bear with you.
Mrs. Amelia Barr does not confne
herself to any one qualification in her
description of "the perfect man" that
should be the life companion. Simi-
larity of tastes, she thinks, should be
considered, as without this married
couple are likely to grow away from
each other through the habit Of each
pursuing his or her special employ
ments and pleasures. Then hus-
band should have genuine piety, OF
should be man who is naturally
religious, zone who would serve God
il the devil were dead and there were
NOT a church within a thousand miles