New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1894-01-28
THE TALK or THE DAY.

| When he was In Wllkesbarre lecturing the othe4
| evening. gentlen an asked Colonel Watterson
what he thought OF President Cleveland. His re-
| ply was as follows II want 10 say that Grover,
| personally, is a good fellow. He Is good company
when you know him well, plays fair game OF
| poker takes his whiskey straight and temperately
| and all that. But he seems to lack foresight. He
won't be advised. He is bull-headed. he runs away
from his party. In short. Mr.. Cleveland is fatal
to his friends"
An Ill wind-Jack-Its all over I'm cooked
Tom-wouldnt she have you?
Jack-Confound It, no. Cool as cucumber about
IT, and nothing Is green either exsrc,srr wom.,..
Jacs~chansns her mnd7 Not bit; ,uu
a ring If she'd have had you?
Jack-Yes. ] suppose so. . .,..
Tom-Had your money all saved up for II, ddne
Lack should say 50. Had Had so all ready.
Tom-Ah yes! say, jack
Tom-YouHer-couldn't lend me-er-that so IN
you find some girl who Will have you would
you?-QIarper's Bazaar.
"New-York" says THE Medical Record" has
always been something Of sucidgenous centre.
The only city that has ever exceeded 1t In suicidal
rates is San Francisco. where seven out or every
10000 kill themselves annually Life seems pleasant
to the Quakers ior IN Philadelphia their suicides
were only SOB per 10000 Even the Puritan OF
Boston prefers to take his east wind ratheS than
poison. Chicago people find 1t easier 10 move away
than TO kill themselves. No extensive study or
American suicidal statistics has been published
quite recently. but so far New-York City Is con-
cerned 1t looks though Morsellis law was find
ing its Illustration here. In the aggregate OF the
civilized States OF Europe and America, the fire.
quency Of suicide shows growing and uniform
increase so that generally voluntary death since
the beginning OF the century has increased. and
goes on increasing more rapidly than the geo.
metrical augmentation OF the population and OF
the general mortality
END OF THE CENTURY MAIDS.
What is the formula professor.
The wise man smiled and quickly wrote.
pray, what may mean this mystic scroll?"
Said she, the vassar pert
"Why part saint. and one part sage,
-(Wheellng Inteigencer.
THE Toronto Mail" which is not apt 10 take the
side OF the United States in an international dis
pute has this 10 say the Hawaiian question,
president Dole IS working out the will OF the United
States and the Hawaiian Minister OF that country
is opposing its will. He knows that he Is dealing
with a Government that is running counter 10 pub
lie opinion the Hawaiian question. He is fur
thering annexation and that is what the great
American people want
Reassuring visitor-"I don't why you didn's
want me to say anything about Miss Mixley's age,
mamma" said Tommy. looking at the guest she
doesn't look nearly so old as grandfat l3,9
Who's that a-pinchin me on the laig"-tChica&o
Tribune.
The Editor OF THE Hawknsville (Ga.) Dispatch"
recently published the following notice: I'VE have
good gentle. family horse that we are anxious to
exchange for good 'possum dog or a reasonable
amount OF fish bait. There Is positively nothing
wrong with the horse but his voracious appetite,
We have had him with us now about two weeks.
and he has eaten up three loads or cypress shngie
two lot gates licked the bottom out OF castiron
sugar kettle and commenced the gable end OF
Fa,, Ia hat haVa inst QOe
to swap. sell or kill. or be without house o.
home"
she-You are smart as you think you
He-oh come now! don't think I'm very
She-And that proves just what l said-tBostouj
Transcript.
The strained relations between Norway and
Sweden were rather unhappily illustrated the Other
day at a reception for Jonas Lie the famous Scan
danavian writer. He was TO return to Chrisuania
after many years absence: and the people OF inc
capital irrespective OF party affiliations, DECIDED 70
honor him When it came 70 the decoration OF the
hall however the first difficulty presented ITSELF
Flags were naturally considered necessary parts OF
the decorations. but when the hated sign OF me
union in the Swedish Norwegian flag was observer
by the Liberals among the entertainers, they de-
cllned take part in the reception. The Conserva-
tlves insisted upon the presence OF the nag Inc
dispute became 50 bitter that the reception was
about 10 be abandoned. when cool-headed man
proposed that all flags. the National Norwegian
ensign among them. be taken from the walls inns
was decided upon and the reception took place.
Lie himself is Liberal in politics, as are most
OF the Norwegian writers. He was deeply hurt
however. by the quarrel which the proposal TO
honor him had caused.
Not In in the Fad-"What f. the matter with
Aiys Mae Gladys Fattestocke? She seems to
NOPE" y.
Natural enough She can't find new way OF
spelling her Christian names. "-(Chicago Record.
An interesting phase OF the present distress In this
city is told by missionary working In the dis
trict between Grand. Sheriff and Houston SITS. and
the East River Years ago" he says. most OF
the people about here were Americans, and their
principal occupation shipbuilding. In rapid
succession the Germans and Irish came in. only to
give place to Polish Hebrews. the proportion OF
which Is now about 70 per cent. Most Of the Amer-
cans remaining are antors and housekeepers in thu
big tenement houses. Nearly every tenement-house
occupied by Hebrews has an American janitor. ana
frequently he is the only one in ,ne house who can
speak the English language"
Young Iusband-Say. darling. what peculiar
flavor this stewed steak has,
Young Wife (difiidently)-I really cannot account
for t. Indeed in order 10 take away the bad taste
OF the onions | scalded them myself In eau de
Cologne.-( Neckar Zeitung.
THE TRTBTNE COIL IND FOOD FUND