Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-01-04
PJTH AND POINT.

| When people are hired to be good
they will stop as soon as the pay stops
| Rams Horn
| GLOW do you know when the first
! of the month comes around? You say
you have no calendar. mo, but
| have a tailor. Harlem Life.
| Lady Tin curio store Does this
| clock go?" Dealer-''Ah, madam. am
SO sorry! but that clock is six hundred
years old. 1t has already went"
81 know I'm little irritable, John.
| but if I had to live my life again, Ia
| marry you just the same" Him! !
have my doubts about it. Judy.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures are
| such innocent little things Won
Blumer-''I don't know about that.
| My last baby taught me how to swear
IN. Y. Herald.
"A Slight Miscalculation.-D
| 'sWould you like to see the little fell
| low, sir? Bixby-''Fellow! Why, the
nurse told me it was girl" Doctor
''She meant the other one. IN. Y. Sun.
An Empty Compliment. - Willy
Wilt-''That new chophouse is on
pretty magni fcent scale" Young
C0dSencm-'I HOW 81! why 'AAo
''Four tables for every customer. >
Puck.
AT the Theater.-Will-"Sa Jack,
how much did you pay for these
seats?" Jack-"S;x dollars and a half. !"
Will-"Well, next time let's save our
money and go to a milliner's opening"
Boston Beacon.
"A Difficult Problem.
you didn't get to Chicago after alp
Hecker-''No; you see was so busy
figuring on the cheapest way to go
that didn't get the rates down fine
until after the fair was over."-Truth.
-Algy Softleigh-''Would you veal
ly wecommend person, me for in
stance, to-aw-thinx twice before
speaking once?' Miss Huntington
"Why, no, Mr.. Softleigh. You don't
deem me SO cruel as to want to strike
you dumb, hope. buffalo Courier.
"A Bad Game. played
a little game of draw at my best girls
house last night" Jim-''No? With
whom?" Harvey-'With her father.
He drew me to the front door and I
got the rake-off from there to the front
gate. detroit Free Press.
Sympathetic. are you read
ing, johnny" inquired the boys IA
ther. ga sea story, about man who
was wrecked on cape" Read it
aloud, Johnny. I can sympathize with
him. have just been wrecked on
seal-skin one myself. - Washington
Star.
Little Johnny-'Mrs. Tall1emdown
paid big compliment to me to-day"
Mother-''Did she really? Well, there's
no denying that a woman has sense.
What did she say?" Little johnny
''She said she didn't see how you came
to have such a nice little boy as 1 am"
--Tit-Bits.
Whether the Washington police
man knew the member of congress or
not, when he met him on the street at
2 a. m. slightly under the influence"
does not appear, for Washington
policeman doesn't always know every
thing; but be that as it may, when he
saw the man at that hour in that con-
dition he approached him. Say, Of
ficer, what time is it?" inquired the
NJ G., steadying himself by a hitching
post. "Time for decent people to be
in bed responded the officer gruff1y-
''Don't be insolent, SIR" commanded
the NJ. C. sticking his chest out like a
turkey gobbler's, 'I'm member of
congress- "Oh," laughed the officer
incredu1ously, ''then it isn't time for
you to be in bed. Good morning." and
he went across the street to wait until
the statesman was ready for his serv
ices.