Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1894-05-28
JUST FOR FUN.

/
Sitter Gocosely) Il suppose 70
want me to look pleasant? Artist
| Unless you prefer a perfect likeness
People talk about being in this O
that 'sframe of mind" AS though thei
minds weren't something more thai
frame!
The heroine Of a certain sensauiona
novel was very much agitated. "He
BREATH" wrote the novelist, "came il
short pants"
Doctor - My good woman, doe
your son stutter all the time? Peasan
Not all the time, sir,-only when ht
attempts to talk.
wn-Tell me truly, do you really
admire Wagner's music? Gray-My
dear boy, haven't the moral courage
to do otherwise.
Here, ''said the assistant editor, 'sis
poem with neither sense, sound, MOI
sentiment.o "Some new genius Give
IL W CAC al UlOU LUZ ll1uSUEdUlOu.
Prevention is better than cure, and those
who are subject to rheumatism can prevent
attacks by keeping the blood pure and free
from the acid which causes the disease. You
can rely upon Hood Sarsaparilla as RENE
dy for every form of scrofula, salt rheu IN
boils and other diseases caused by impure
blood. 1t tones and vitalizes the whole sys.
tenn
Hoods Pills are easy and gentle in effect
A man at our elbow ne from whom
better things had been looked for,
suggests that camera is like trans
tive verb in the fact that it takes an
object.
''There is at least one place." said
the statesman, who looked very wea-
ry, "where men of all parties must
stand together" ''Where is that?'
Gin crowded horse car"
1t was in the New York Worlds re
port of political meeting that the
word "shouts" was so ludicrously mis-
printed as to make the blunder ia
NOUS ''The SHOUTS Of ten thousand
Democrats rent the air." read the re-
A student of a medical college was
specifically, did the people die who
lost their lives at the destruction of
Herculaneum and Pompeii?'' 81 think
they died of an eruption, SIR" ans
wered the student.
Now try This.
Now TRY.-It will cost you nothing and will
surely do you good, if you have a Co.
Cold, or any trouble with Throat,
Lungs. Dr. Kings New Discovery for Con-
sumption, Coughs and Colds is guaranteed to
give relief or money will be paid back. Stuff
erers from La Grippe found it just the thing
and under its use had a speedy and perfect
recovery. Try sample bottle at our expense
and learn for yourself just how good thing
it is. Trial bottles free at III. G. Pierce's Drug
Store. Large size soc. and sI.O0.
Figg These temperance folks go
too far. If a man doesn't want to
drink let him leave it alone. Because
he doesn't want to drink is no reason
why I shouldn't drink as much as l
have a mind to. Fogg-No; it would
not be long before YOU didn't have
mind.
A foreign diplomat, conversing with
the Hawaiian queen on the subject Of
jhe mixed races in Hawaii said: But
your majesty surely has no white
blood in your veins?'' Indeed, have
white blood in my veins!" said the
queen. "My grandfather ate Captain
Cook"
The principal Of a school asked a
oright-eyed boy the meaning of Evac
lation Day, which was being celebrat-
ID. Bright eyes, beaming with pride
1t being brought into notice, arose
ind called out in clear tone: '.It is
he day the doctors come to tie school
10 vaccinate the boys"
Aged Negro-I is gwine on a hun
Ter en- ten years old" Interested lis
ener = Indeed? Then probably you
AN recollect as far back as the first
sct of congress" Aged Negro-Yes,
ah-I remember all bout de fust ak
# congress. l OF ter recollect it, be-
ause [ cut wood wild it,"
Mrs. Mann. 'sThat lawnmower
viii never do. 1t makes a dreadful
loise and it doesn't cut grass at all.''
Ir. Mann-That's all right. l bought
to keep Johnny busy. So long as
he machine makes the racket and ac
nothing, he'll stick to it.
we been boy, myself, Maria.'
A domestic, newly engaged, pre-
ented to his master one morning a