Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-11-01
spri"kl~s Of sp'ce.

Richmond Dispatch.
TEAcHER-b the English language
u dead language? Precocious Pupil
Nav, but she's murdered every day!
IT isn't always the man who prays
the l0udest at prayer meeting that
people believe In most. RAMS Horn.
THE tanned shoe is going out lust
as the tanned summer girl Is coming
In from the seaside.-St. Louis Re-
public.
LIEUTENANT (admiring his image
In the mirror)-+And yet they call
women the fair SEX Fliegende
Blaetter.
"THIs," said the bachelor, as he
paid for sewing on button, "is what
Is meant by single tax Cleveland
Plaindealer.
WHEN some ministers struggle with
sermon a limited round contest Is
preferable to q fight to q finish.
Yonkers Gazette.
HE-"I'm not half az bad a hus-
band as you thought I'd be, am I?"
She-"NO; you've been disappointing
In everything. Truth.
THIS old world Is so full of beauty
that man has TO shut his eyes and
walk In the night time not to SEQ IL.
Atlanta Constitution.
AN enthusiastic person is seldom a
favorite. Don't admire anything.
Always look as though you have bet
ter at home.-Atchfson Globe.
SHE-"How fearful it must be for
great singer to know she had lost
her voice" He-"Its much more
torturiDg when she doesn't know II. I"
lid Bits.
JAPAN says she proposes to de-
molish China" said Mr.. Blykins.
"She ought TO have our servant girl, I"
replied his wife, YEARLY.
Constitution.
FRIEND-Well, Doc, how's busi-
ness? Doctor-Fine. Got two new
cases In the next room. Friend
What, smallpox? Doctor-No, cham.
payne Truth.
DIR. EMDEE-Years ago the doctors
used to bleed their patients for about
everything they had. Van Pelt-
The practice doesn't change much,
does it?-Truth.
TELL me, nanny, dear, why does
papa always scold nurse when you're
there and play hide and-seek with
her when you're not there?"-New
York Journal.
JILsON says that since the intro.
duction Of shoemaking machinery
the Old-time disciples Of st. Crispin
have bad to come down a peg or two.
Buffalo Courier.
CLARA--@Were there any marrying
men down at the beach this summer"
Cora-"Yes; there were two minis
tiers and a justice of the peace.
Yonkers Statesman.
MAN wants but little here below.
And gets blamed sight less
For him to even get a show
Is cause for thankfulness
Gin cinnati Tribune
ENFANT TERRIBLE. Father
Ito friend)-This is my youngest son.
Frank, this is Mr.. Jackson. Frank
(brIghtly)-Is that the man who
mamma said yesterday had more
money than brains?-Truth.
A MAN with a donkey for sale, hear
ing that's friend wanted to buy one,
sent him the following, written on
postal car: "Dear Jack, II you are
looking for really good donkey,
don't forget me. "-Tid-Bits
Mrs. MCSwATTERs-aMy dear, a
tramp came here to-day and stole
some OF my freshly made biscuits. :"
McSwatters getting his revolver)-
"Where is he, and I'll put him out OF
his agony. Syracuse Post.
AREN'T you afraid that statue
will shrink IL 1t be left out In the
rain?" asked the cheerful idiot.
shrink" said his host. what an
ideal" Il didn't know, you know. I
thought it might become a statue
wet. Cincinnati Tribune.
DEHAMME-Back to town so soon?
Barnes Tormer-Even so. We played
In Plunkville to no one but dead.
heads, and two Of them brought suit
against us for loss of their time In
witnessing the play.-Indianapolis
Journal.
OLDsKIDDs-Do you really believe
that the sins Of the father are visited
upon the son? Youngscadds-Cer-
tainly. Didn't the governor say he
couldn't let me have that afty this
morning because he lost It at poker
last night?-Buffalo Courier.
A.PoLICEMAN's PERIL -sDolan wor
put an duty In citizens clothes tn
other night" said member of the
force How'd he get along?" Terrible
Not wan o. the fruit-stand dagos
reco'nized him widout is uniform. an
the poor man loike to starved to
death. Washington Star.
MRS WICKwIRE-Goodne There
are fifty-two carloads Of toothpicks
turned out in this country every year.
/ wonder who uses all OF them? Mr..
WickwIre-About fifty carloads OF
them slip down into the lining OF
fellows vests, guess. Indianapolis
Journal. ..~..
THE lady OF the house-Why don't
you go to work? Don't you know
that rolling stone gathers no moss?
Browning, the tramp-Madame, not
to evade your question at all, but
merely to obtain information, may I
ask of what practical utility moss is
TO man In my condition?-Tld.