The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1894-04-27


tho Papers OF uh Old Citizen OF
Wheeling, Long Since Deceased.
Drop u NlckL Il In tho Slot aud Get u
Smile.
Yesterday our old friend Mr.. Vox P.
Ncritas, u lifo long subscriber to the H.
r~ELLIGEScER, loft with us o curiosity in
tho shape OF n we'll worn but fairly lcsi.
bio copy Of the Ilcrculaneum Hurry Up,
containing 90 account OF tho assassinn.
ton OF Julius Cmsar, m event which
some OF our older citizens may rcmcm-
Dor. He found it among some old
papers loft by hid father, and to show
how sensations wcro dishod up In those
daya We copy tho article ontirc. 1t is
from tho Rome correspondent Of the
Hurry Up. mud appears under the head
OF delayed correspondence" and is
signed Gath" Tho writer, judging
from the rambling and excited charac-
ter OF his narrative must have worked
under the stimulus OF 500 volts OF 20
ampcres, equal We should say to ton
Tusculum cocktails. Tho account starts
of with the abruptness OF a cable cur or
u dynamite bomb, uiiclicit:
dictator G. Julius Caesar was a~ssassi-
mated dead to-day, the idcs of March.
The names Of the assassins arc known,
and although they arc beyond tho es.
carpment, the police are on the trail
and hope to run them in before the end
OF tho week.
Never since the days Titus took Jc.u-
salem and Billy Patterson was sandbag.
ged on the Appian Way by n mysterious
hand has anything SO affected tho stock
market, Chicago gus dropping from 200
to 90 sesterces. In fact, q large and cle-
giant assortment OF gloom, ut special fire
sale prices, has sottled over the eternal
city. the vain and voracious mistress Of
the world and the Tenderloin district.
The board OF aldermen, l am informed,
will meet tomorrow for tho purpose Of
Offering . reward for the arrest OF the
asiassins and awarding the contract for
the new bicycle track around tho Coils
scum. AS the saloons have been closed
there is q we'll defined thirst stalking in
the streets ut the time write, but the
fire department is held in readiness to
quell any outbreak.
But about the CORPSE, and more anon
concerningth the trivlali.ies Of the tracedy.
As your readers we'll know Cesar was q
born fighter, and held the chumpion-
ship belt, but like Sullivan he went into
the fray once too often, and as a conse-
quence his hacker Antony is consider.
ably out. Owing to the confusion that
persists in remaining on the scene there
arc many conflicting reports about the
cause Of the tragedy that are contradic-
tory, one being that the deed was done
by the cowboys OF the Pontine marshes.
and another that the Dalton gang was
mixed up in it. The murder, however.
occurred in this wise: Caesar, rs was
his wont every morning. went to tho
Curia OF the capitol to attend to peti.
tions, &c. Just as he had taken his
seat 4 large delegation OF congressmen
from Now York appeared, and Jim
Climber, from the Cohosh district, tho
spokesman, presented q petition for the
pardon OF Mckane. Cesar was much
offended at this, and in a tone OF per.
nicious activity, with n slight Buffalo
accent, exclaimed, "Tll sec you OK.
lied in Tophet first! VIVA. in Grave.
send do you mean? This ia my govern
ment, and don't you forget to let that
percolate through your Hawaiian MEM
ory."
Then Casca PETER tried the slot ma
chine by dropping in the Coxey bond
bills, but was ropulsed with even
moro vigor. Then followed n scene
that defies description. Casca immedi-
atcly pressed the button, and the others
did the rest. Tho sudden attack gave
Cesar no time to place himself on a
war footing, but ho fought hard until
he saw n cuckoo make n thrust. Gee
WHIT, Decimus Voorhees,, you too! .Auf
U2deFehen" Then, butioniug his
macintosh about him, he croakod
right ut the foot OF Pompev's statue.
and it was with no dull thud, either.
Then the assassins fed. The crime was
first discovered by tho %janitor, who
Immediately sent in n call for the patrol
wagon and Coroner Antony. These arc
all the facts OF the aiIray your cores
pondent is able to ascertain ut this
writing. Tho Curia presented au awful
sight, resembling the abattoir of tho
Chicago stock yards, tho Louis Quinzc
fresco and the expensive HoDoken
dado being literally painted red.
Gore, gore, everywhere,