The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1894-06-21

q a Humpty Dumpty costume do the
ancan and the split. It expects you
o combine the features Of Jefferson,
florence and Goodwin with those Of
Jan Rice, Alvin Joslin, Carmencita,
)e Wolf Hopper and Francis Wilson,
lam Jones, Mary Anderson, Gus Will
Jams, DR.. Parkhurst, John Kelley,
James Whitcomb Riley, Lillian Russell
nd Oliver Wendell Holmes. They
ome and hitch their teams in front Of
he courthouse, put mayonnaise dressing
N their pie at the hotel and go home
ad and bitterly disappointed.
Captain Jack Crawford, the poet
cout, has hit the nail so squarely on
he head that I venture to insert his re-
marks here:
Pap read in The Weekly Spear
To all US folks not long ago
AT ole Bill Nye was comm here
To give his great onequaled show,
An then he sort o. LATED an said
AT folks ID git their moneys worth,
Fur he would bet his bottom red
It was the greatest show on earth.
Then all us boys Just buckled down
To make enough to take us in
A-doin chores around the town
By jinks, we worked like mortal sin
A-choppin wood an shovelin snow,
An doin jobs of every sort,
Fur we was bound to see the show
When Bill Nye come to Higginsport.
Pap said he was the queerest cuss
'Atever breathed the atmosphere
An showed his photygraf to us,
Tux just a-purpose fur The Spear.
BY jucks, we all jest laughed outright,
An mann she helt her sides an sQuealed-
On top his head was jest as white
AS any later ever peeled.
Pap said at Bill was in the war,
But never had to march bit
They had i'm in the signal corps,
An when they thought twas time to quit
The 6ghtin fur q while, pap said,
They'd fetch i'm out an turn i'm loose,
An when the rebels seed his head
They'd know it was a flag o. truce.
Pap said at once big cyclone
Come howlin round where Bill was at,
An he jest stood up on a stone
An lifted up his ole white hat.
The cyclone stopped an fetched q yell,
Then had a awful laughin fit
An somehow tuckered out until
It couldn't blow another bit.
When pap an nam an sis an me
Went down to Parker's publick hall,
honest was afraid at we
Could never git inside at all.
It beat camp meeting times the way
The folks was crowdin at the door
1never seed circus day
Wake up the town like that afore.
The folks inside was mighty nigh
Like sheep a-cuddlin in q storm,
But l pushed through mp close where
Could see the funny cuss perform,
But Roshamighty. want sold
When MI. Nye come out to act,
Fur all the stories pap had told
Were forty million miles from fact!
He didn't wear show clothes at all;
He didn't dance; he didn't sing;
His doin's wasn't what I'd call
A public show at all, by jing!
He hadn't one dissolvin view,
He didn't on the tight rope walk
swear to gosh he didn't do
A tarnal thing but stand an talk!
Here again heard at the hotel the
glad neigh of the young people who oc.
cupied the parlor after the "opry''
waiting for o'clock train for Shote.
vile, where they came from.
Miss Pearline Skunk played some or
the piano. It was an instrument called
the Burlingame and Touchmenot piano
and sells for $175 to hotels. Its music is
still ringing in my ears. If you could
see me since heard that wild melody,
you would see different man, and my
food and my wife both agree with me
now. I am more hopeful too.