The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1894-09-21
ASTORIA'S INFANT FIREMEN.

titled to take the place of Baron Mum
chausen, who was known to be such
liar, that an accidental utterance of the
truth was sure to result in spell of sick
ness. 1t devotes half column of small
type to needless, vacant sort of vapor-
ing, denouncing the decisions of the
judges, and the character and actions of
our hose team at Oregon City. The article
compels the citing of statements petty in
themselves, but convincing1y apt in their
There is an irritating and
element in the riot of abuse
that breaks out against our boys, when
there is not semblance of an excuse for it.
Still, there is something grotesquely hu-
morous about the manner in which this
sheet juggles with truth.
Astoria's team, says the Herald, "was
selected from among the younger me1n-
bers of the department" Oh, yes, they
were young! So young, in fact, that each
one was accompanied by nurse. That
they had their milk with them, too, is
evidenced by the fact that the Herald
says. "the judges were set of damn fools
who did not know the difference between
the babys nursing bottle and length of
hose" The Herald gets SO wrathy, that
it comes right out fat-footed and says
damn; just like that.
These young members became sulky,
because the judges would not allow them
to practice their infant tricks, and left
with their nurses for home, accompanied
by three blind men and boy that had
fits. In accordance with its other mis-
statements the Herald says, this practi-
ca11y ended the tournament, and no in
tarAst was taken in the New York race. !"
1t also states that the Astoria team made
the hub and hub race in "a seconds, when
our boys won the race from them in "a. is
seconds; and that Astoria made the wet
test in 477s, when the judges decided it
to be 49, rs.
This journalistic acrobat makes the nom
tensica1 statement, that 'the judges re-
fused to give the Astoria team any time,
because they put kink in their hose
while the water was going through" "
Is mt that excrutiatinge A just protest
was entered and allowed, because the
Astorians only had the nozzle screwed
on half turn when the water passed
through, and the rules require that there
shall be at least three.
Another specially is introduced by the
assertion that 'the Corvallis team was
made up of professionals. Our team
was composed of members of the Cor
wallis fire department, which is fortunate
enough to possess the speediest team in
the West. 1t is noticeable that every city
excels in some particular thing. In this
case, Corvallis is noted for its fast men,
while Astoria is no less notorious for its
fast women.
Because they failed'to defeat the 'FHay.
Seeds" as the Astorians called our boys
before the race, these Astoria kindergar-
tens have taken their dolls and dishes
and withdrawn from the Firemen's Asso
citation, and declare that they will never
no never, attend duOIue1 uIe1HeHS s tOuI-
nament. So there, now!
No one accompanied our team from
this city to Oregon City, as the Herald
insinuates, but the fellows organized a
team quietly, paid their own expenses,
and went..to the tournament without hall
of our citizens knowing anything about
it. They were not in practice, and tried
the New York race for the first time al
Oregon City. That they were all gentle.
men, and conducted themselves as such,
| we will leave to the verdict of the Oregon
City people. They need no vindication
for their actions.
As for the windy bluff of the Herald to
run our team for $4,000, the GAZETTE
will say that our boys will present them
each with a copy of Mother Goose's
Nursery Rhymes" and a years tuition to
kindergarten, if they will consent to
venture away from home without their
parents. If there are any solid, substan-
tial men in Astoria, who think the team
they had at Oregon City is faster than
our team, and wish to back their judg-
ment with cash, Corvallis is willing and
ready to accept all such bets.