davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

THE NEW MINISTER "A Methodist
congregation who regretted the de-
parture Of o minister whose time had
expired, piled the pastor with ques-
tions about the man appointed to sue
coed him. The pastor gravely an
swered them:
He is a good man, and an able
preacher, but-there. / don't suppose
1 ought to say anything. and L think,
On reflection, that / won't" :
OF course, this infiamed everybody's
curiosity, and they insisted on his ex-
planning. After disclaiming an in
IGNITION to prejudice the new man, he
informed them that the coming minis-
ter parted his hair in the middle. The
congregation were indignant, but de-
cided to suspend final Judgment until
they had een the new man. The next
Sunday when he walked composedly up
the aisle, every eye was upon him, and
~ he faced the people there was o
broad smile on every face In the chapel.
do was bald
Tho Japanese Pile cure 10 the only
proper I pplication for internal piles
AMI ID e~uarantee ed In every case by
Carpenter Bios, Greenyills, S.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05
The Seven Wonders of the World.

l.; The Pyramids Of Egypt. These
buildings are supposed to have been
commenced about 1900 B. G.. The lar.
gest which is 400 feet high, measuring
in a perpendicular line from the summit
to the base, is said to have been built
by CheOps, 1882 B. G.
%. The Mausoleum, or tomb, built
by Artemisia for her husband, Maui
solus, King Of Capia, in Asia Minor.
Ihls famous tomb was erected at Hall
carnassus, $50 B. G.. The statue OF
Mausolus was brought from Halicar-
nassus in 1857 and placed in the British
Museum. :,
3. The Temple Of Diana, at Ephe-
sus. This temple was AIS feet long
and 225 feet broad. 1t was destroyed
by fire on the night of the birth of
Alexander the Great, by a man named
Erostratus, who perpetrated this rep
r~ehensible act in order, as he said,
that his name might be handed down
to posterity.
4. The Walls and Hanging Gardens
of the city Of Babylon. These gardens
were raised in terraces, ono above
another, on tiers OF arches, and reached
by flights of steps. Flat stones were
laid on the arches, and these we're
cemented together by bitumen, and
covered With THICK sheets OF lead. The
gardens were five in number and in the
form OF an amphitheatre.
s.. Tho enormous brazen, image of
Apollo, at Rhodes. IL was erected
about 200 BIC, and wassthrown down
by an earthquake about seventy years
after. 1t stood across the entrance to
the harbor, with each foot on the ex-
tremity of q mole. IT was hallow, and
u winding staircase up one Of the legs
and through the body gave access to the
interior of.the head.
6. The statue Jupiter Olympus.
This statue was the work Of Phidias,
who hourished 42S b. G. 1t was made
of ivory and gold, and measured thirty
nine feet in height.
z. The Pharos, or Light House,
built by Ptolemy Philadelphus, King
Of Egypt. This tower was erected
about $50 b. e.. 1t was built OF white
marble, at the entrance to tho harbor
Of Alexandria, and a fire was kept con-
otantly burning at the top of it to aid
TIE sailors of the Mediterranean in
steering direct for the bay.-Jcwish
Times and Observer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

agent g. The company. or TO :"
y CRAIG, Ger. Pas. Agent.
r.. l. TODD, rinv. ,rass. Agent,
Room No. Sni. Dyer Ruildnp.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

GOLUMBIA & GREENvILLE r.. r
" Co. SAMUEL SPENCER, f. w
HUIDERoPER AND REUBEN FOSTER,
1t. ceiNsts. Sontenesd s 'eduts ia , feet Dee.
"A. 1885. Tratos ruN by ISsh MERIDIAN
L ipt.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

A ATLANTIC COAST LINE. PAS
IN niger department.. Wilmington
n. &. Jan IA 1894. Fast Line between
Charleston nhd Columbia and Urrcr
south Carolina, AID Western North tWo-
lima and AthCEs and Atlanta. Condensed
ScbOdu,e.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

Tho Volumes Of the Weekly begin
with the Numbers for June and De-
cember OF each year. When no time
is mentioned, subscriptions will begin
with the Number current at the time
of receipt Of order.
Bound Volumes of Harper's Weekly
for three years back, in neat cloth
binding, will be sent by mail, postpaid,
Or By express. free Of expense (pro-
vided the freight docs not exceed one
dollar per volume,) for $500 per vol
ume.
Cloth cases for each volume, suitable
Tor binding, 80 cts. each-by mail, post
paid,
Remittances should be made by post
office money order or draft, 10 avoid
chance Of loss.
Newspapers are not to copy this adj
yertiscmsnt without the exp IS order
OF Harper & Brothers.
Address
HARPER 81 BROTHERS,
New York.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

pORT ROYAL q WESTERN CAR
i DINA Railway. j.. b. Cleveland,
Receiver. Quickest route TO Floriua. Schcd-
u!c taking effect April 20, 1898.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

AT one house the Indians gave me
dinner, at another supper. AS
we'll as | remember coffee, syrup and
biscuit were give me for dinner, and
coffee, fried meat and biscuit for
supper. Both these meals were given
me by the Indians without any sug-
gestion or request on my part, and it
was thoughtful in the red people to
show this kindness to a stranger.
/ bought some Indian wares and |
also had some given me {; among which
is the most singular looking pipe |
have ever seen-it is in tho shape of a
cOoter. These ware are real curosities
and SHOW careful INC nice work.
My walks Over the reservation must
nave amounted to several miles. One
sometimes more) OF the red men kind
ly showed me around. L talked q
great deal with the Cataw has. and
took a good many notes on what |
heard.
There vas some talk of electing O
now chief Chat night, so 1 remained q
while to see the election, which. how
ever, did not come off. Before I left
for Rock Fill / had quito q pleasant
ak with q number OF the men who
had assembled at tho house VIII re the
election was expected to occur.
L couid-.write more about my visit
to the Catawba Indians, but will close,
as | don't wish to nuke this article too
long. This visit and the kindness
shownm mo Ly the Catawbas will always
be remembered with feelings OF pleas
ure and interest.
MCDONALD FURMAN.
Ramsey, p. O., Sumter Co. Nav. 1914.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

1t was dusk, and as no lights were yet
burning to let our game see where he
was we rightly supposed he would
think himself safe at home and act ac-
cordingly. Prepared to turn on the
gas fun blaze when he did so, we
watched the trunk. For fifteen
anxious minutes it seemed ~lifeless.
Then we heard a movement inside,
heard q bolt drawn and saw the lid
slowly rise anda head cautiously APP
pear. W. went the gas and over went
the trunks lid pulled by an armed
officer. At first the head, or its face
rather, wore a happy, triumphant,
broad grin then as things didn't look
familiar its eyes oponded wider in an
effort to understand matters while tho
grin faded away like rainbow. Then,
AS the facts OF the case forced them
selves on the burglars startled brain
the poor fellows hair Strengthened, his
his eyes fulged out like a Holsters and
the establishment and terror depicted
on his youthful, but evil features beat
acting all hollow.
"'COme out of that, you camp |!
shouted the police captain as soon as
he could talk for laughing. and give
an account of yourself. What's the
name OF this particular racket, any
how 2"
= The burglar tried to laugh also,
but it was a dismal failure. oh,
that's all right he grinned, Il took
yez for the conductor. That's why |
was scared. Yer see, I've been beat
ing thev railroad, boss. faint every
chap can kin git ahead of old Wander
bilt and Chauncey Decpue. But don't
tell EN-, kOrs they'll bo a-opcning all
the trunks on tho line and tile wimmin
might object. Ha, ha, hal Say, purity
slick trick. wasn't it 7"
THE burglars bluff was good, but
1t didn't work for q cent.
What yer doing with those
watches. in the trunk p asked q police
man as he iishcd them out alter the
fellow had painfully managed to crawl
out himself.
"'Seein' ii the road runs on time,
boss. The blamed train was ten
minutes late and I'm goin' TO report it.
Say, yer amt got u swaller OF whiskey
yer could lend u tired traveller, hey?
Couldn't get ut the water cooler, yer
know
"'Wcll, you'll have no trouble
getting at the cooler" now. Lock
him up, sergeant. We'll give him
another free trip Tomorrow
Ion to the cell they took the wretch,
and then we examined his trunk. Ii
was padded iaside, so that being tossed
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1894-06-05

l.N Az. ust. 3lOpm ~ { hari'slon l3rm
Ar aiken 2Iim Iy, oI,Iuhi, d.nrm
Ar Kingsvillc & lTpm,ly Eirusyillr i 0Gi, m
Ar Olumbiu 9 iuimi AR .\ikcn rTnm
Ar har rston IapU .,r augusta z ,orn
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
The Democracy is willing to Take
Its Chances.

There is no doubt but that this ad-
ministration will admit to statehood all
of the territories which they can count
upon as Democratic, and that New Mex
leo will be among the number seems now
certainty from the tone of the dis
patches. The vote of this territory has
always been pretty evenly divided be-
tween the two parties, and with nothing
to influence the voter, the administration
might, perhaps, figure on the probability
oJf New Mexico going Democratic; but
with the blow which our principal in
dustres, silver mining and wool, have
received at the hands of the administra-
ton, not one Democrat voter in ten will
ever again cast his vote to secure or
perpetuate free trade platform. When
the election of U. S. congressman and
state officials occurs, Immediately upon
the admission as state, the wool men
and the silver men will be found solid fol-
the Republican party, and among theiI
number will be the flower of old-time
Democracy. With wool at five cents
pound, and silver wortkabout 691a cents
Mr.. Cleveland can't figure very close or
New Mexico. Still, we want statehood
and can wrestle with the other question:
later on.-San Marcial Bee.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

pointed out by unprejudiced friends.
President Cleveland will suffer no injury
from such criticism. We would not
shield him from it if we could. True
friends never fawn or tiatter.
But surely the president of the United
States should be freely accorded the
highly priced American right of cherish
ing and voicing his honest convictions
ard lovers of justice and fair play, of
whatsoever shade of political opinion,
should spurn with scorn and contempt
the mere suggestion that his frankly ex-
pressed opinions are prompted by base
motives. Because President Cleveland
earnestly advocated the repeal of the pur-
chase clause of the Sherman law, news
papers of pretended standing and decency
have assaulted him with the vilest personal
abuse. Some have accused him of being
the willing tool of Wall street; Others of
being the purchased agent of England;
while others have even gone so far as to
hold him personally responsible for the
distress that exists in various parts of the
country and to insinuate that the knowl-
edge of it IS rather pleasing than other
wise to him. Such utterances are in
famous. We are reluctant to believe that
even the most shallow and pitiful par
tisan bigotry could give them birth.
They must be the fruit Of unreasoning
malice.
President Cleveland sprang from the
people. He knows what poverty is by
bitter experience. He lifted himself from
obscurity to the exalted position he now
occupies unaided except by honest work
and intrinsic merit. His long and fruit
full public record is an open book in the
hands of the American people. It's closely
written pages are not blemshed by a blot
or blur. His utterances, his actions,
his whole public life bear eloquent tes-
timony to the purity of his Intentions
and the rugged integrity of his m otivea,
and ought to satisfy all fair-minded peo-
pie that, whatever his mistakes, he has no
other ambition than SO to administer the
great Office he holds as to confer the
greatest good upon the greatest number
of his fellow citizens.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
USE and ABUSE OF CRITICISM.

Opinions widely and honestly differ
touching such objects as the tariff, bi-
metalism, the relations of capital and
labor, and even the Hawaiian incident
President Cleveland holds clearly defined
and boldly pronounced opinions upon
each of these important questions, and
on some of them his views conflict with
those of prominent and influential mem
beers of his own party. 1t would be
dull world in which all minds were cast
in the same mould, and party of politi-
cal slaves-one impossible on American
soil--that would blindly and unquestion-
ingly accept the dictum of any one man
however much respected, upon any issue OF
public moment.
The methods advocated by President
Cleveland for the solution of the various
problems pending before the country are
legitimate subjects for candid criticism
by Democrats as we'll as Republicans
and congress particularly should not per
NIT party zeal to influence its action te
the extent of adopting suggestions of the
president without mature reflection. The
great presidents of history, our Washing
tons, Jeffersons, Jacksons, and Lincolns
were often subjects of severe criticism
by men of their own political faith, ant
they suffered no harm thereby, but rathe
gained strength from having their error
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Value OF Water.

The Rio Grande, in it's New Mexican
course, serves at present for irrigation
agriculture not over $4,000 acres of land
The Rio Grande runs for ten weeks in
the year an average flood flow of $500
cubic feet per second. That is water
sufficient at the low service of one second
tVubic) foot to 100 acres to supply for IT.
rigation needs 100000 acres of land. For
another ten weeks this river will run an
average of 800 feet per second, or sufi.
Gent to serve at least $4,000. The rest
of the year the average flow from Embu
do to Ell Paso will be about 800 second
feet or sufficient for 10000 acres.-The
Irrigation Market.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

A new and very attractive resort in the
charming Mesilla valley, one mile from
Las Cruces, N. M. Thoroughly comfort
able and home-like. Strictly first-class
in every respect. The choicest of fresh
fruits at all seasons and Jersey milk and
cream speciality. Livery furnished at
reasonable rates. Terms $40 to $14 per
week For further particulars, address
j. K. LIVINGSTON,
Las Cruces, N. M.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Press Comments On Territorial
Affairs.
The Climatic Cure.

The greatest misfortune for people
troubled with bronchial and lung affec-
tions is that they do not come to New
Mexico Immediately when the first symp-
toms of disease appear. Though many
lives are saved and more prolonged by
coming late, after the disease has COM
menced to waste the system, about one
half die Immediately after arrival. For
people with strong HEREDITARY tendency
to longevity and of strong vital power,
except the trouble of the breathing or
gans, the change to New Mexico generally
works cure.-Eddy Current.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
GRAND COLORADO.

What superb state is Colorado. What
a remarkable showing she makes for the
year 1898, despite the obstacles her peo-
pie have had to contend with. When the
figures on her resources have been
digested by our eastern friends, alter
they recover from the initial shock, they
will doubtless have no difficulty in ar
irving at the conclusion that the Rocky
country is fit for sonsething
other than the raising of sand storms
and patches of cacti. We are particular
ly gratltied over Colorado's showing this
year, because it must help to lift all the
broad west, iPcluding New Mexico in the
eyes of thinking, fair minded men. Here
are the figures on Colorado's wealth
producing contribution to the west for
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
He Was Sufe.

Don't be SO reckless, Pat" said the boss
to one~off his hod carriers. ''Be little
careful going over that scaffold, or you'll
fall and get killed"
mo danger of thot, sor," replied Pat
confidently. TITS meself as bod me loif in
sured only lasht Chewsday."-Brooklyn
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

The statehood question is certainly
coming on at Washington very soon, but
we do not observe that delegation from
New Mexico is making any move toward
getting on there to encourage such sena-
tors as Plat, Frye, Proctor, ct al. to
pull off and stay off. However, the
great, big hearted fellows from the west
are with US, and we are likely to come
through all right.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Her Way.

"NIiss Skivvens thought she was having
fun with me-" said Willie Washington com
placer&ly, "but she wasn't"
whats the NATTER"
"She said my comment was as penetrat'
ing as an augur and thought would be
complimented."
"Yes?"
"But wasn't. What she meant was
that she found me bore. Washington
Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
NOT A BOSTON GIRL.

zeal the letter, write her name
It's very dear to me
And then l add beneath the same
Two letters-M and d. +
1see you smile in quick disdain. !.
You think OF glasses, too, 4
And little curls. It's very plain "
What IN. D." means to you.
But she is neither stern nor cold
AS you perhaps may think.
She'syoung and fair, not grim and old,
Nor does she scatter ink
On notes of lessons that are said Il
Before learned class,
And from her dainty lips of red
No long orations pass.
The only studies that she reads
Arc letters that write.
The only lectures that she heeds
Arc those that indite.
You wonder how it oil may be
And do not understand.
She lives in Baltimore. Md"
Means simply Maryland"
james G. Burnett in Century.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Cold Comfort.

Miss Prettie-Why didn't you tell me my
hair was in such state9 Lord Nabobb
must have noticed it.
Miss Beautie-No need to worry, my
dear. am sure he didn't see it. He didn't
once look at you.-New York Weekly.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

No TERRITORY ever knocked at the door
of the Union with juster claims for ad-
mission than those now presented by New
Mexico. We have too much confidence
in the wisdom and Justice of the present
congress to believe that the appeal will
be made in vain.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
One Thing Sure.

A Negley avenue family was discussing
the long distance bicycle race.
"What will the winners gets" asked tho
mamma.
They'll get tired anyhow" replied 6-year'
old Edward before any one else could reply.
Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Dense Ignorance.

The school trustee of District No. 10
Cornstalk township, closed the door on thu
young woman's retreating form, walked
back to the stove and spat in thecoal bucket
"That makes three gals that's wanted tc
teach the school," he soliloquized regret
fully, shat I've he'd to refuse becuz they
didn't seem to understand none of the prin
ciples of grammar. "-Chicago Tribune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

Mrs. MARY LEASE seems to have good
deal of human nature in her composition,
after all. She has concluded to do her
utmost to hang on to that $1,000 job,
even if she does have to associate with
coarse Kansas politicians.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Men yyerc Deceiyers Ever,

Men Werc Deceivers Ever.
"John," said Maud, didn't you promise
me that on the day l became your wife
you'd give up smoking?"
Eyes, dear"
"And now l find you putting on cigar"
"Why not, dear2 kept my promise.
didn't smoke bit the day you became
my wife."-Truth.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Appropriate,

"Perhaps the deceased's business will
help lis to decide on an appropriate cpl
taph," said the tombstone sculptor.
"He was bill collector"
'Then how would this suits His work ID
DUMP "-Tit-Bits.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
The One Execution,

Herdit-No two people ever see thing
exactly alike.
Thinkit-Don't they thought
Herdit-No, sir.
Thinkit-Well, did you ever see two men
simultaneously reach for 5o-cent piece on
the sidewalk ?-Detroit Tribune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Getting Inside.

Chawles-What are you going to marry
her for if you don't like her?
Eddie-Why, you see, owe her brother
several hundreds, and he won't want to be
severe in dealing with a member Of the
family, you know Chicago Record.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03


' WIZ iiihaettu, sir, responded the tramp
in English. He spoke Latin and Greek in
an equally fluent manner. Hewas given an
excellent dinner from the top of flour bar
rel, which he ate standng-not the barrel,
but the dinner When he had finished off
with a pail of clear, refreshing hydrant
water, he folded his tent like the Arab and
silently stole away. The master of the
house stole after him.
"See here, my FRIEND you said you would
shake those carpets"
II did, sir"
ibid what?"
"Shake them"
"Why, you never touched them! How
dare you"-
soft, me good sir. Mcthinks you are
not familiar with the language you speak
If you shake man, it means that you
give him the goby. The same with carpets
--understandez vous?"
He lodged billet OF wood and disap-
peared into the unknown, while his kind
entertainer went back to hunt in the debris
for the dictionary. Free Press.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Winning a Ret.

Deacon Bogie-I noticed that you seemed
very deeply interested In the sermon this
morning.
Eyes. You see, had bet Jones 81 that !
could stay awake until church was out. -
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8.

TEE '.new departure" of the New Mex
loan seems to please great many peo-
pie Congratulations are coming in thick
and fast.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

PLAYING the insanity crank dodge to
avoid responsibility for crime was a
glorious failure in the case of Chicago's
mayor killer. 1t should always be.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
A Correction.

"You are the only girl in all the wide
world that have ever loved" he said tc
the Boston maiden.
II am delighted to hear you say So" she
answered, ''but l think you are hardly cor.
rect in saying the wide world. Round
world would be better. The world Is
round, slightly flattened at the poles."-
New York Press
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03

E&-The New MEXICAN is the Oldest news
paper in New Mexico. 1t is sent to every
Post Office il the Territory and has large
and growing circulation among the intelli-
gent and progressive people of the south
west
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
HENRY L. WALDO,

Attorney at Law. Will practice in the
several courts of the territory. Prompt
attention given to all business intrusted
to his care. Office in Catron block.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-01-03
Didn't Know tho Language.

DICH'U hHoW UNV 11ftHEu'oo'
They were housekeeping, and tho car
pets were out on the line in the back yard,
when genteel, well dressed, well educated
tramp came along and invited himself to
eat.
''If give you some dinner, will you shake
those carpets?' asked the lord of the man.
or, who had staid home from his bnsines'--