The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1894-06-29

the Fourth or July at your house, where we had
such q, dandy time last year. We win be up next
nephew ROBERT GILMORE.
When the old man had heard the letter, he
jumped from the wagon In Il hurry and
pranced about as II mad, eXclaiming IN u loud
voice: .Drat your internal relations! Why
In thunder weren't they all girls? I'll go right
back to town and send postal card to that
there youngest and tell him TO stay
home till he's wanted. tn only cost me II
cent and will save me lot of worrying and
trouble
"Yotl'll do such athing, you old IDIOT" re-
piled his wife. "Robert Gilmore is my sisters
only boy, and ! don't see why he shouldn't
come to see his aunt once year and bring
some of his friends along"
"YOu don't, don't y0uT shrieked the old
man. "Maybe you don't remember the time
the young scamps had when they were here
last year. | never had such Il time in my life
and don't want and won't have another like it
If ! can help it. No, you don't care what mis-
chief your folks do, nor how much have to
suffer for their deviltry, for its nothing else
than real down deyiltry. They came up here
last year as meek as so many kittens and
looked us If they had no more mischief i'm 'em
than II wood horse"
Snow, Ike, just you shut up Them boys
is a.coming, and ri do all can to help 'em
have good time on the farm. They are
whole year older than they was last year and
must have more sense"
eyes, they'll come. Why shouldn't they
when you're such an old ninny! You don't
care picayune for me and never did, only
to get me to work your rocky old farm, which
wasn't worth anything till | tackled It nearly
40 years ago. Yes, them kids will be here
even If it costs you as much as it did last year.
It's good thing for you, my old lady, that
you own the farm and that bank account, or
I'd get up and get out of here before them
young tOrnadoes arrive. I'll not have min
utes rest or peace from this time till after
they go back home again. If had the money |
I'd go off and get as drunk as old Bill Jacobs |
and left him.
"Here, Ike, you've said enough, and want |
you to shut up, or I'll turn the tables on you
again, you worthless andungrateful old drOne
Think what Eve done for you all these years,
Why, you're enough to make marble statute
angry. Come right into the house and get
your dinner before everything is cold"
Defeated in the argument, which generally
happened, Isaac put the horse and wagon
away and meekly entered the house. After
dinner his wife sent him to Green's store on
an errand. On his way home he stopped at
the Wayside inn to chat with several neighbors
and to them. related the whole story.
eyes, said he, .'the old woman gave it to
ne pretty severe, but don't see how can
lelp it. She's full 10 years older than am
md will die some day, and then I'll have a
,hance to have my way for a little while any
low. That scamp Bob Gilmore, who is son
If my wife's sister Hetty, who is coming up
lere with three other young pirates to spend
he Fourth of July again. When think of
he internal Britishers had whipped Washing
on and his army so that we'd had no Fourth
f july don't think there's much independ-
nee in the day anyhow unless it is for city
rats to worry the life out of a Woodworking
armer."
"What did they do last year? You'd better
SIX what didn't they do. I'll tell you. The
'ourth come on Sunday, and I always Law
l bed till O'Clock on Sunday mornings to p
est. Them chaps come up the day before
18th Il whole wagonful of boxes, and l don't
link it was more than o'clock next MORN
g when they sneaked in my room and put
bunch of them big cannon crackers under
cath the bed me and the old woman was
eeping on. There was, | thought, more
IAN hundred explosions that woke us up
jiffy. Jerusalem, but | was scared, and =
he old woman jumped out of bed, wrapped
leet around her and hid in closet, while !
'abbed up my pants and jumped out the +,
indow, landing right into the rain hogshead f. :,
lat was full of water. Before / could oct ~ -
It the young rascas had lit another bunch q,
I'd lowered them by a string to the hogshead. :,
yelled fire, murder and everything | could ~
ink of. '!
| got out and put on dry suit and after i,
eakfast went to church. Before | left the a.
use one ofthe youngsters put handful of h.
avel stones, three crackers and some match IN
in my coattail pocket. While ] was in ~
urch and moving about on the hard board T.,
1t, as always do, the gravel stones rubbed n ~.
anst and set fire to the matches, and the II,
st thing ] knew l was hurled forward into y;
? next pew, and the whole congregation, ne
AIDED nv the minister made for tho door | =,
lille the sexton put hose to the force pump ,ri
d squirted stream of water all over my a.
st suit. That was bad enough, but the co
xt day was worse. The boys set fire to the w
IN, blew up the beehives, burned the hair III
the old dog, smashed about 40 lights of m ~,
lss out of the house windows and knocked ~; j.,
lie in my bald head with skyrockct. If he
u hear of me being murdered outright this OF OF
ar, don't be surprised."- Philadelphia lie
mes. ell