Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1894-12-13
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

The trouble with the bulldog Is
that he sometimes chews more than he
can bite OFF -Galveston News.
-Aennard-''"'I wish / were a rumor. .
L -d1' SOP" Kennard- $50 that
might gain currency. '-Truth.
Pope was irritable almost to mad.
ness. The least criticism of any of his
writings Infatuated him nearly to dis.
traction.
ust After the Miss,
am proud to think that belong, like
You, to the Caucasian race."-Flie.
gende Batter,
Mr.. Bellew told me that he was a
Yale man. Do you know what class he
was graduated from? ..From the
sophomore class. Harlem Life.
What an easy-going fellow Tom
Is! he makes the best of everything"
| .or, rather, he takes the best of every-
thing. Boston Transcript.
How did Miss Spoons get the sill
yer medal at the cooking-school?" "a
number OF persons partook of the dishes
she prepared without any fatal re-
suits. Inter Ocean.
- Nothing Is says scribbler, SIS more
dlsheartening to man than the dis
covery that he has married a woman
VINO loves to keep his writing table in
order. Tit-Bits.
-Wltts-''Of course you will admit
that talk is cheap?" Watts with his
thoughts on his florists bill -"Er-
yes; SO long as it isn't the language of
flowers. indianapolis journal.
You are charged with having
voted five times in one day." said the
judge, sternly. II am charged. am I?'
repeated the prisoner. ''That's mighty
odd. expected to be paid for it. IN.
Y. Sun.
Neither Cash nor Credit. Banks
Those clothes of yours are very seedy.
Why don't you get a new suit?' Hanks
principally, I presume, because /
don't want to be arrested for larceny"
Detroit Free Press.
Physician with ear to patients
chestl-"There is a curious swelling
over the heart, which must be reduced
at once. Patient (anxiously) -"That
swelling is my pocketbook, DOCTOR
Please don't reduce it too much.-Lon-
don Tit-Bits.
-"My DEAR" said the apprehensive
| wife, 81 thought you said you were out
Of politics this election. Here's your
name on the ticket ''Er-um-you
misunderstood me. didn't say was
out of politics. 1 simply said that 1
wasn't in it. "-Washington Star.
An Unfair Divide. Van Ruy-
mer-"My dear, don't you think this
last line Of the third verse would sound
better if you should change it SO as to
read" Van Ruymer-s'No, by
George, don't can't afford to take
any suggestions from you. The last
change you got me to make was in a
poem that happened to be accepted,
and you claimed the whole check for
new bonnet. "-Vogue.
THAT stove," began the customer
with deadly calmness, ''you sold to me
last week as an art stove believer
"Yes," admitted the dealer. isn't it?"
ut doesn't know any more about art
than a hog does about Sunday" Eth?
What?' Isay it doesn't know the
first thing about art. haven't tried
it on painting yet, but it can't draw
worth a cent" Indianapolis Journal.
"A Gallant Critic.-The country ed
itor had been married about three
months and one day his wife was talk
ing to him in his Office. 'Do you ever
accept poems, Charlie?" she inquired.
II never got but one that felt per-
fectly satisfied with" 20, what was
it? Let me see it, she exclaimed. 1T
was you, my DEAR" he smiled ''There's
the looking glass over there in the
corner. Detroit Free Press.