The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-05-03
MANY thanks, nothing else. 1t will

that again he wore a new pair of trou-
sers, this tims of charming chestnut
color. He must be fiourishing surely.
Again. after a few days he came into
our office to make a small payment
into the bank. Almost unconsciously
cast look upon his legs, and discov-
ered-another new pair of trousers,
this time of an original, though not
particularly tasteful, olive mustard
green. l shook my head. How very
wasteful of him to go thus into trou-
sers! Why could he not spend couple
of sovereigns to buy new coat instead
of all these things? His blue coat sad
ly required replacing. l almost said
so to him, but was afraid he might
then ask me to lend him more money,
and only gave him friendly nod
Meanwhile my study of the circum-
stances connected with my old friends
trousers had had the curious conse-
quence that, quite Involuntary, l be-
gan to look at the trousers of every
person with whom l came in contact
during the day. And imagine what
happened! To my boundless conster-
nation, l noticed that all our clerks,
messengers, porters and other officials
never wore the same trousers more
than once They all appeared every
morning in brand new trousers, and
sometimes they even wore one pair in
the morning and another in the after
noon. The end was that could think
of nothing but this matter; it took
hold of me more and more. Dur
ing my waking hours and in my
very dreams l always asked the
question: What in the world induces all
these sensible people to be so madly ex-
travagant about their trousers? At
last l could stand it no longer. l made
some jesting remark about it to the old
porter, whose business it was to an
nounce my visitors. His answer was
given in reserved manner and with so
peculiar a smile that the dread truth
dawned at once upon me; ! was
maniac-there was no doubt about it. l
had new mania, a trousers mania,
peculiar kind of hallucination! ! de-
cided at once to keep the matter a pro-
found secret, and to say nothing about
it to anybody. l was especially careful
never again to breathe word about it
to any of our officials, but | could not
prevent myself from studying, with
morbid minuteness and day after day,
the trousers they wore. 1t was always
the same. Every one wore every day
new pair of trousers, often even two
pairs in a single day. Trousers of
all sorts and conditions, striped
checked, light, dark, long, short, tight,
wide-it was maddening!
One day l went secretly to one of our
most eminent specialists for mental
diseases. l put my case before him,
and was partly consoled and partly hor-
rified when he was not in the least sur
prised, but said, with a good humored
laugh: wv ell, well, it is not so very
bad
What did you say doctor? Not SO
bad? But plainly am mad!''
Mad" he said, very dryly. Yours
is most interesting case of hallucina-
tions of the optical nerves. Get away
for month
Time went on, and with it my dis
ease. l still did my work, and the
directors of my bank even sent me a
complimentary letter at the close of the
year. ate and drank as usual, but all
the same | felt that | was sinking
deeper and deeper into the black abyss
of insanity. Sometimes I even felt at
tacks of sudden ill-temper. One day at
the restaurant a colleague with whom
| was having a game of chess told a
perfectly harmless story in which he
entioned pair of trousers. | got so
furious at this that soured torrent
of the most violent abuse upon him, for
which | had to apologize very humbly
on the next day, as | did not care to be
shot by him or horsewhipped.
The first glance l cast at people at
this time fell always involuntarily upon
their trousers. In this way noticed,
with great surprise, how very large was
the number of new trousers which daily
made their appearance in this vale of
tears Meanwhile l was beginning to
think of leaving my post, and of find
ing some work in Scotland or Central
Africa, where understood that there
are no trousers, when one day my old
friend Louis was announced. ''Of
course said aloud to myself as he
entered, for he was indeed wearing
new pair of trousers, very wide at the
top and tight below the knees. 1t was
black and white check. A curious
garment, rather loud, but not without
an air of distinction. His whole ap-
pearance was in harmony with them.
He wore jacket and waistcoat of fine
black cloth, faultless linen, a large,
bright-colored cravat a heavy gold
watch chain, a shiny new silk hat and
stick, with gold head. Perhaps it
was not gold, but it looked like it.
wen, old fellow!'' he called out, and
stepped with youthful energy on my
corns. 'T have come to take leave of
you. Thanks to the twenty shillings
you generously lent me the other day,
have become a rich man, and / intend
now to go back and live at home in the
south. am going to buy a small house
and live comfortably on my income"
was speechless with establishment
He looked perfectly sane and steady
His hair and beard were fashionably
arranged anG he gave one the impress
sion of being pensioned cavalry officer
or circus director who, having made
his fortune, was about to retire into his
tive town thara IN poca hon,