Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-09-13
Let Us An Laugh.

1
for kiss last night.-Life.
THE Kansas corn crop will be quite
short, which makes. the farmer wear
a wry face. Lowell Courier.
IT is not the woman who fires up
the quickest that makes the best
match. Richmond Dispatch.
WHAT has become of the old fash
toned church member who wouldn't
go to clrcus?-Atchison Globe.
THIS is the season when candi-
date rushes up to you and @1xes" you
with Scent cigar. -Atchis0n Globe.
SCREEcH-What part of Mrs.
Screech's music do you like best?
Wilson-The refrain. Life.
SOME men ought to be ashamed Of
themselves, but they never happen
to think about t.-Galveston News.
HAVING STEADY" keeps a girl at
home as close at home evenings as IL
she was married and had bay
Atchison Globe.
WE don't believe a long haired
man knows anything more about
medicine than shOrt-haired man.
hlOhioOh OAOOVs
THERE are some young fellows who
feel like going out for a lark after
taking few swallows at various
places. -Picayune.
IT wouldn't be so bad when the
mosquito presented his bill IL he
didn't sign the receipt In such fiery
ink.-Florida Times.
WHILE never very much for speed,
at this late day the car horse has be-
gun going as fast as the trolley
comes. Philadelphia Times.
-"THE present only is ours" says
the preacher. This fact is Of such
moment that it is well to make q
minute OF it.-Arkansaw Traveller.
LITTLE ETHEL-@Papa says my
dOggie has fleas. What shall dO?"
Little JOhnny-"Whenever visitors
call take him to them to pet. Good
News.
YOUNG men must relieve them
selves Of the impression that they
cannot be on time without a stimu-
liant and $3.50 watch. Galveston
| News.
"ITs all up with me-" groaned Sky
lite, as he sank on the eighth stair.
way, endeavoring TO reach his fiat
after hard days labor.-Boston
Courier.
IT Is quite natural that the actors
in seashore companies should mis-
take for applause the noise made by
people killing mosquitoes. -Philadel-
phia Record.
AS A soldier-fghter the Monaghan
mayn't be much, but for an instance
Of sound beating he should be seen
giving it to dinner gong.-Phila-
delphia Times.
Where did you get all
this wonderful strength? Famous
Strong Mani was carver in a
boarding house for three years
Syracuse Post.
A BILL taking alcohol used in the
arts off the free list has passed. This
puts a plain whisky and the most
elaborate cocktail on all tours. Phil
adelphia Ledger.
CUsToMER-"Do you warrant this
bathing suit?" Modiste-@Madame,
prefer to say nothing except that
when it is worn it will show what's
in it?"-Detroit Tribune.
ONE of the religious weeklies tells
its readers how to make an 9olian
harp, but it doesn't tell them how
they can appease the neighbors after
wards Bonneville Journal.
CHINA offers reward of 200 taels
for the head of Jap officer and 100
for the head of private. It's case
Of heads they lose, taels the other fell
low wins. Philadelphia Ledger.
HELEN-Why did they all laugh at
young Dudley last evening? Kate
Why, he held Miss Dollie's head so
long on his shoulder that he wore
her hat home by mistake. Judge.
FRANK-"It makes me mad to see
my wife so dead gone on that fool of
a McFlurter." Dick-"Oh, be chari-
table! She used to think just as
much of you. Boston Transcript
ToPsY-Mamma, ought to be kind
to the cat? Mamma-Certainly, my
child. Why do you ask? TOpsy-
Because I've given it all the cream,
and there's none for tea.-Tid- Bits
SPEAKER Tin the hen convention)
There are now three measures be-
fore the house to increase the duty
on eggs" Mrs. Biddy-"Wel,
move we lay 'em on the table. p
"SoME men," said Uncle Eben, ais
so soured on human nature dat when
er frien' returns borrowed umbrell
dey thinks 1t am reflection on de
umbrellas quality. "--Washington Star.
i MAUDE-"Oh, he wrote me love-
ly poem. 1t began:
When you would know why men go mad.
Go gaze into your mirror
Bertha-"What bosh! You're not so
ugly as all that. "-Pearson's Weekly.
AMY remember your friend Clare
married Mr.. Nicotine so as to reform
him. He was such an Incorporate
smoker. How did she succeed? Joe
Perfectly. He gave up tobacco en-
tirely-and took to drink. -Arkan.
saw Traveller.
SQUAM INLET PosTMAsTER-I'm
Begin your everlastin' pardon, lady,
but deed 1t warn't my fault. Some
way r nuther your letters got great
hunk o. red beeswax onto it, an I
amt been able & git 1t of without