Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-05-31

"CHANGE IOf Une DeUCer, SalQ Une
cashier of the pool-room as he paid
out the cash to the winner.-Sift-
ings
CLosELEIGH-"It gives me great
pleasure to offer you this cigar.
Jones-"Great Scott! is it that bad?"
Life.
A NEW color is known as invisible
blue. 1t will probably be used in the
policemens new uniforms. -Phila-
delphia Record.
BENEDICT-"Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case? Singleton-"Yes; her father.
Boston Traveller.
WAGeE Why don't you get a BIZ
cycle, Pat? Pat-Bicycle nothin';
whin l want to walk prefer to do 1t
STAMINA up!-Grip.
THE room for improvement" which
you hear persons speaking of is GER
tainly not the one you find in fat.
-Yonkers Statesman.
THE average dwarf is at very seri-
Gus disadvantage. No matter how
large his income, he is always sure
to be short. Courier.
For those who are troubled with
shat full feeling" after eating, we
recommend day board at Mrs. Skim
pey's boarding house.-Grip.
THE RECToR-"You don't mean to
say you went to a dog show on Sun
day?" Penelope-"Yes; but looked
at the St Bernards only. Judge.
CoURT-What do you mean by say
ing you were once in the higher walks
of life? Tramp-I wuz in de noun.
tains wild Coxey. Tribune.
"THE Telescopes Mystery" was the
subject of lecture delivered the
other night in Chicago. Anybody
could see through it.-Philadelphia
Ledger. &"
DRIGGs-@Can a man serve two
masters?" Henpeck-"Well, that de-
ponds. He may have a wife and a
grown daughter, you know. The
Waterbury.
THERE was great CONSERVATION
on the stage of the Oriental last
evening"" wrote the critic, when All
Sing, the leading actor, lost his cue.
Boston Courier.
THE establishment of a coffee
clearing house is projected by the
Coffee Exchange of New York. The
white of an egg is said to be effect
i've. philadelphia Ledger.
"WHAT sort of a collection have
you, WHIP" asked the visitor. @Per-
haps can help you" "Well, sir,
said Will, "I'm collecting American
coins. "-Harper's Young People.
SERvANT-"Yis, sorr, Mrs Jones is
In. What's yer name, sorr?" Visit
or-"Prof. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
Servant-"Ochl Sure ye'd better 20
roight in and take it wild ye."-
Judge.
A LITTLE girls father had round
bald spot. kissing him at bedtime
not long ago, she said: @Stoop down,
popsy dear, / want to kiss the place
where the lining shows. "-Pearson's
Weekly.
JOB LoTT-One never loses any,
thing by keeping his engagements
punctually. Kirby Stone-My ex-
perience is he is apt to lose half an
hours time waiting for the other fell
w.-Tid- Bits
MoTHER-"Mabel, stop pounding
your little brother! What do you
mean?" Mabel-"Well, / told him
we'd better play we was only engaged,
but he wanted to play we was mar
ried. Frank Leslie's.
"TAIN'T no disgrace to be sent to
the Island" said Raggles- Look at
Napoleon Bonyparte. He was sent
up to the Island for years, an yet
nobody thinks the less of him for
that. "-Harper's Bazaar.
SHE pushed back the heavy bang
from his forehead and said: ooh,
Tommy, will it tell on your diplo-
ma that you won the place of val.
edictorian by your rushes and tao
kles?"--Washington Star.
JOHNNY, on his first visit to the
country, saw little mule colt trot-
ting after its dam. SLOW do you
like Bessie's coltp" asked Uncle
George. ~Why, is it her colt?" said
Johnny, much surprised. II thought
it was an orphan. Kate Fields
Washington.