The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-11-11
PEPARTEES AND RETORTS.
Y0u Nav Call a Nan an ASS in at Least
Three WAYS.

prisoner RelieI-A6nry VIII. s Love
If nor-Good-Natured Henry ".
ofFrance-Jests for Which the Donkey
is Responsible.
From the New York Times.
The ways in which a man can suggest
q, another that he is an ass are many.
They vary from the bare statement that
he can trace lineal descent from the quad
-,,ned whose mouth the Almighty opened
m tutor BALKAN to the delicate suggestion
ronyeyed in the QUESTION. Are you fond
of thistIs?" The former is the plain and
brutal method which prompts the victim
10 retort with a club. The latter is the
sarcastic way which makes him hold you
in detestation and damn you with FAINT
rraise behind your back, disparaging at
every opportunity the capacity Of your in
telIect.
Besides these there is the friendly way,
which amuses and half pleases him, while
at the same time he WRITINGS upeasily as if
lie we're not quite sure whether the sorrow
we're turned into Joy or not. OF these
three varieties. with all their gradations,
If is tndisputable that the second is and
alwavs has been the NEST popular. Man
kind has always preferred the snarling re
fort: from the earliest ages it has risen
most easily and naturally TO the lips. The
serpents retort on the Almighty was to
5fsparage him to Eve behind his back,
and Cams anarl IAN / my brothers
Eeeper2' is an early instance OF the eva
son OF an Imputed responsibility.
The 'tu qLoque nature Of the lima
tured retort Is found In records of grcat
antiquity. We can see it on the waits OF
l,-yuLlan TheOes to illustrate mural dec
orat.o.l at a cate anterior 20 Adam start
ing Of the community al larSe. 1t also
forms a large proportion OF the Greek wat
that has come down u us. one or two
of these are worth recalling. A native of
Abuara was tw4tting q grown-up son
with having q child to MAINTAIN, ana
sayscd Inn to k-n 1t because OF the eX-
pense when fell practically on the old
man. The son rstortcd: Just you kill
YOUR own children and then come ana
advise me to destroy my little one!'
Another deals with The ancient Schol-
asucus Looking toward certain corner
OF the school, he cries. 'Demas Is behaving
very all over there, as usual
de hasn't come yet answers another
pupil.
Jusufyng retort
Generally speaking, the strong have re
fused to put up with testing from thu
weak The Car Nicholas, who had som,
Inc qualities was hardened against q
neditated act of clemency by the un
Gaunted spirit Of d prisoner. Relief,
man of letters had been implicated in tbs
conspiracy OF 1875 and sentenced to be
hanged lie was launched from the tata
ladder, when the rope broke and he was
1 ufa,.Z
but conscious. He picked himself up anC
said quietly; They can do nothing il
Russia, not even Irvine a cord properly.
it was customary in Russia TO pardon this
condemned after a similar iiasco, but OF
Relief's words being reported to the czal
ana his pleasure demanded, he rejoined
prove MN the contrary"
Henry VII with ali his violence an
tyranny could bear with a retort as wei
as give one. for he loved a man. When ii
was told him that the pope nad sent tbs
cardinals hat to Fisher, Bishop of Roches
terhe said: HE may have the nat but
ne shall have no head to wear it with
ana the bishop was brought to the block
ON ore occasion the turbulent Earl OF Xii
dare was brought before the king, charged
with setting fire TO the Cathedral
Nasnel. 81 own il" said the earl, but
never would have done it had | not be
lIeved the archbishop was in it," Henry
laughed and pardoned the culprit. His
Ditterest enemy was the Bishop of Meath
who accused him to Henry of divers mis-
leeds. and closed his arraignment witt
Thus, my iege.. you see that all ireland
cannot govern the earl"
Then said the perverse monarch, tho
earl shall rule ali Ireland" and instantly
made him lord deputy. because his gooC
numor equaled his valor.
Elizabeth resenl bled her father In he
Willingness to put w with retorts from
Sauey subjects and TO pay them back il
Hn1-not always with the greatest re
Hhemert. The little scene with the i'll
lated Earl Of Essex, when she boxed hi,
ears for insolence and he laid his han(
On his sword, saying that he would no
l1ke such treatment, even from her father
Is faniliar to every one
Gong back to still earlier dates. we
constantly find the impervious Piantaga
net kings giving and receiving retort'
mat bear witness OF great independent
among some Of their powerful subjects
~ vas Edward l., who on the refusal Of
me Black Dog of Warwick to join thu
kngs With vassa}s and supplies for the
way. said: "Sir Earl, you shall either
70 or -ang!' The retort was; "Sire Rex,
viii neither 80 nor hang"
henry ". of France was good natured
move most monarchs in repartee. AS q
rule II Ia impossible to reproduce in com
Fentonal English dress the jests of this
WISE and witty king. On one occasion It
vas the turn of NJ. d Aubigne TO sleer
in the kings antochamber, Fancying the
monarch was asleep he began to talk to
I'll. dc Ia Force, who shared his watch,
saying: Your master is the most un-
grateful Of men" La Force, half asleep,
a.ked him what he was talking about,
"hen Henry cried out: Wake up, he
is telling you I am the most ungrateful Of
Pray go to sleep, sire" interrupted
Alblgne. I'VE have a great deal more
70 say about YOU" Henry never showed
IesS klndness to his servant on account Of
"naI he had overheard.
buI the cynical generosity OF Frederick
we Great is unique. A lacl1ey who oweG
nm a grudge had determined to poison
nln. one morning he brought in the
hh@ chocolate and appeared visibly
troubled in countenance What ais
Eou|' said Frederick, looking fixedly al
'in- You look as II you had put poison
IN my food The wretch fell at his feet
1na avowed his crime. Get out Of my
htnt you scoundrel" said Frederick,
ma took no further notice Of tho mans
"'lelapt 10 murder him.
delicate compliment is the work OF