The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1894-03-15
PUT YOUR HEAD TO THE ENGINE.

A Wide Awake sleeping Car Porter Tells
How old Travellers sleep ON Cars.
"How will you have your footf" the por-
ter asked IN aleeping car coming from
Buffalo.
EJECT 70 the engine. - said the passenger.
III you travel much, you'll have your
head put next 10 the engine. said the
colorcd man.
"No. " said the passenger. ~ am afraid
there might be n collision, and then I'd
be thrown with all my weight against my
head. b" The porter chuokled.
81 beg pardon, boss, said he, "but I
notice dat all the railroad men has their
heads put toward the engine-and all the
commercial travellers also. The biggest
arguments Il In favor Of doing that way.
In the first place there ain q many head on
collisions. There's more danger Of rear
end collision The reason Il that every pms
nenger train has Its own right Of way aud
runs regularly every night and Is looked
out for by all the trains that's running
ahead Of II. Therefore the most danger IN
from something behind which don't know
when we have stopped or broke something,
and which runs into US unexpectedly
There amt any one looking out for any
kind Of collisions, cause when they come
it matters mighty little which end you're
putting vi gNAA AAhN VI yNhh AttA
but IL you insist on looking out for 'em
from behind-Im n-telling you"
ANY more argumentsi"
"Got plenty more arguments, boss. You
don't want TO sleep with your feet toward
the engine, because II you do the draft
through the car blows right again your
head, and when Il gets cold nt night your
head and chest are exposed. Put your
head toward the engine, and you feel cool
without Citing in no draft. It's just the
same way in summer. II you sleep with
your feet toward the engine, you can't
have your windows open, with the screen
in 'em, without getting the wind and fine
dust right in your face, whereas, II you
sleep with your head 20 the engine, you
get the cool air and no draft and dust.
Is that all you knowi"
mo, boss. / hain't told you the big
gest argument yet why you should have
your head made up toward the locomo-
tive. The most serious thing Of all is the
circulation of the blood In your body You
been having your feet made up toward the
engine, chr Well, / reckon you don't new
or sleep very well in the cars, do your
Your nights res is usually broken, ain e
itf Well, sir, femme make up your head
10 the engine, and you'll sleep like You was
baby. OATS because the motion of the
train is so strong and steady that IL sends
all your blood toward the end that's fur
thest from the engine. Put your feet TO
the engine and all your blood PUSHES
straight to your head and gives you "A
restless night. Put your head 10 the en-
gine, and the blood goes away from your
head, leaving it cool and easy so as you
can res like a child.
"Put my head toward the engine and
stop talking, will you''
eyes, sir. All right, sir. Anything you
say, sir. You won't gredge me dat quar-
ter in the morning, I'm a-telling you.
A lapse Of half an hour Then a voice
from between curtains. 10 addresses the
porter
Solomon. Diogenes, porteri Any ar
guments as 20 what part Of train is the
safest?"
"There nren' Z no use OF arguments bout
dat, sir. The safest place on a train IL
the middle Of the middle car on the side
furthest from the other track"
"Good night, Cicero New York Sun.