davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
APresuminc Creature.

Gus de Smith-At the ball the other
night you only danced once with Miss
Esmeralda Longcofin.
Johnnie Masher-I can't afford to en-
courage that girl. What do you think
smell whenever she is around?
"Onions?'
''Worse than that. I smell orange
blossoms. She means business; hence I
must discourage her. She is not able to
support a husband. How presuming the
girls are getting to be nowadaysr'-
Texas Siftings.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13

The kings of Sardinia formerly de-
scrlbed themselves as BY the grace of
God, king of Sardinia of France, Spain
and England, of Italy and Jerusalem,
OF Greece and Alexandria, 0Hamburg
and Sicily, ruler of the Midway sea,
master OF the deep, king of the earth,
protector of the Holy Land
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
A False Maxim.

The loungers around the only store in
little New England village were great
~ amused at something that happened
one warm afternoon. A tall, lank, bare
footed man came into the store with a
gallon pail filed with blackberries,
which he exchanged for three quarts Of
molasses.
He carried stout hickory walking
stick in one hand, and when he departed
he put the pail Oh one end of the stick
and threw the stick across his shoulder.
He reached the platform in front of the
store when shining new pin at his feet
caught his eye.
''See pin and pick it up,
All the day you'll have good luck
he drawled out and stopped over to pick
up the pin, when the molasses crawled
out all over his back and neck.
Strengthening himself hurriedly, the
man said:
"Waal, never thought much of that
air proverb, an ] think less on it meow
than I ever did. Youth S Companion.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
Cures Painful Tumors.

NEAR CHRlafiANsRuRG, VA,
DIR. 5. P. n1rE:
Dear Sir BY the use of PAIN CuRE
and ALL-HEAL1NG PLASTER / was
cured OF a painful tumor Of 1a months
standing, / consulted two eminent
physicians Of my county, who said
that an operation would have to be
performed, when the weather was
cooler, but by the constant use of-your
PAIN CURE and PLASTER the work
was accomplished.
Very truly yours, :,
DALIsAS HAfl..
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
nucklen.s Arnica SaIxe.

The best salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises
Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter
Chapped Hands, Chilblain, Corns, and all Skin
Efuptions, and positively cures Piles or no pay
required. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect salts
Bction, or money refunded. Price Is cents PEI
box. For sale by Hughes & Bell. Druggists
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13

CHR1sr1ANsEuRG, VA, October 4, 1891.
DIR. H1TE:
Dear Sir Almost two years ago I
had the misfortune to severely bruise
and sprain my foot in jumping from
the Barrack fence at the College in
Blacksburg, Va. The most intense
pain and suffering cnsued. Twas con-
veyed to my home, almost in the
agonics of lockjaw. I did not think
it possible that could live to reach
my home. On arrival was so pros
trated as to be unable to walk and was
carried to my room, wAen friends ap-
piled your PAy Cure, which gave
permanent relief III half an hour; by
its continued use all soreness was re-
lieved in twelve hours. | have three
living witnesses to tits case. Having
used this remedy In my family for Is
years for most every /. ind of disease
with equal success, I think it superior
10 any compound on tho market, and
take pleasure i'll commcnding It to the
public.
Very truly yours,
II. ID. WALTERS,
Jess1e4, es1a Telegraph Operator.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
Do YOU WANT MONEY ?

We will loan you money at q lower rate of in
terest than any other association. We DEDUCT
NO BONUS, but loan you the face value of Your
stock in cash. You only pay interest on what
you receive. Monthly payments smaller than
Our investment stock costs less per month and
pays larger dividends than any other stock. We
issue two classes of paid up stock as follows both
paid up and ION assessa BILE:
One at $50 share, bearing per cent interest,
payable semi-annually, natures. or you receive
500 per share, in seven years. The other at Sl00
share, bearing 10 per cent. interest," payable
semi. annually. Can be Withdrawn al any time.
The attention of persons having large or small
amounts to invest is called to the above stock.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
OLD FRIENDS TIE BEET,

Grandpa looked at his fine, new chair
On tie twenty sixth of December,
Saying: Santa Claus is so good to mel
He never fails to remember.
But my own armchair is the one for me-"
And he settled himself in it nicely.
Il hope ne won't mind if l cling to it,
For it fits my back precisely
Papa came home that very night
He had plowed his way through the snow
And the Christmas twinkle had left his eye,
And his step was tired and slow.
Warming for him his slippers lay,
The lovely, embroidered in gold ones
That hung on the Christmas tree last night.
But he slipped his feet in the old ones.
And when dear little Marjory's bedtime came
On the parlor rug they found her.
The long. dark lashes adroop on her cheeks
And her Christmas toys around her.
Neglected Angelique's waNen nose
The fire had melted completely,
But her precious rag doll, Hannah Jane,
On her breast was resting sweetly.
independent
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13

bottle OF DR.. Fenner's Golden Relief.
He poured some into a cup and dipped
his thumb in it as soon as hurt It is
now covered with thin piece of cloth
and kept wet with the Relief. He works
as usual. It is not sore though yet raw.
It has not swelled. No matter will form.
He will work with it right along and in
a day or two it will be well. Infamma-
ton cannot exist where it is applied,
any more than the morning dew can
continue under the bright sun rays.
Used externallyan internally and cures
collie, summer complaints, flux, dyspep-
STA, ETC., ETC., also drops on small
lump Of sugar once in two hours cures
sore throat and consumption. In fact
it cures aaay disease that has Inflanma-
ton in it. One tablespoonful dose cures
La Grippe. Meier dssappoints. Safe and
certain. Money refunded if satisfaction
not given. Take bottle home to-day.
Sold by Dinkle Bros. Bridsewa
ter, A. C. Koontz, Mt. Sidney,Mud
man g. Hoopman. Birch Mill.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
Nervous Prostitution Cured,
rheumatism, Quinsy and Whoopinq
Couuh

Cough.
CLovERDALE, BoTEyouRT Co., VA.
DIR. H1TE:
Dear Sir About two years ago,
my wife was sorely afflicted with in
fammatory rheumatism. Her pains
and soreness were SO great that she
could not bear to be moved, without
the greatest of pain, and by the use Of
your invaluable remedies she was en-
tirely cured
My three little girls were attacked
with Whooping Cough, your PAIN
it's continued use The disease passed
off, no worse than q common cold. A
lady in the neigh bolhooa, whose
throat was nearly closed from the cf-
fects of quinsy. was cured in q short
time by the use of the PAIN CcRE.
Your remedies are Indispensable; i
always keep them ct hand.
d. w. HUMBnRr.
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13

Doctor-What! your dyspepsia no
better yet? Did you fellow my advice
and drink not water one hour before
breakfast
Patient tried, doctor, but I could
not keep it up for more than ten min
utcs 1T Il stretch
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
Combined Wood and Wire stay.
CHEAPER THAN BOARD OR
PICKET.

The reduction il the price of wire has reduced
the price OF fence. Write for prices:
nine wire (No. 81 will turn stock, even me
smallest pig.
4 five wire, large stock only.
Aneighteen wire will turn poultry, even to the
smallest chick.
AN ali wire jointed stay for durability and
elasticity.
A combined wood and wire stay for visibility
and last
A solid wooden stay Tor visibility and staunch-
ness.
Full stock of material always On hand. We
arc prepared to furnish on short notice picket,
lawn, cemetery and all wire poultry fencing.
Call at our factory and examine stock or write
for testimonials and prices.
; Farm Township and County rights for sale.
JNO. G. MILLER & CO..
janis Viewers Cave, Va,
Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1894-04-13
Nice Farm for Sale +!

Situated mile from Staunton the Spring
Hill road, containing 10 acres. Has beautiful
house on it and a large barn, gardens, 20 acres
In orchard $40 peach trees and 800 apple trees
nearly all Johnson'S Fine Winter. Good fencing,
ETC. Apply to DR. E. +. WAYMAN,
feb 16-2m Staunton, Va.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
Clipper Chestnuts.

THAT'S what l call hush money" re.
marked the daddy when he planked down
the cash for a bottle of paregoric to take
home for use among the infantile portion of
the family. -Brooklyn Life.
Being asked the name of the worlds great
est composer, smart university man said.
"Chloroform. "-Siftings.
A Somerville man who has been doing
some family shopping recently for his wife
has made the startling discovery that the
"saleslades" in the dry goods stores are a
great deal better natured and more accom-
modating at 8 in the morning than they are
at 4 p. m.-Somerville Journal.
Some one who believes that "brevity is
the soul of wit" writes: Don't eat stale
Q-cumbers They'll w p."-Tit-Bits.
A summer boarder inquired at the local
bookstore for the Letters of Jane Welsh
Carlyle and was snappishly informed,
This amt no postoffice. "-Youth's Com
panion.
Every man feels certain that he would be
very much more orderly than he is if he
only had more time.-Somerville Journal
Life is full of narrow escapes" said the
life insurance agent to his victim. Even
the Turkish bath is close rub. boston
Herald.
When man runs into extravaganza, it
makes his pocketbook limp.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
FERTILIZER HINTS.

A good complete" fertilizer is sup
posed to furnish in an available form
nitrogen, potash and phosphoric acid in
the proportions required by the crop for
which it is intended. 1t is assumed that
the soil contains these elements of plant
food in proper proportion, but only
enough for small yield. For instance,
the soil may be able to furnish enough
OF each one to produce crop of fifty
bushels of potatoes an acre. To increase
the yield, fertilizer containing the
three most valuabl plant-foods in proper
proportions must be applied. On this
basis complete fertilizer for potatoes
should contain potash in much larger
proportion than either nitrogen or phos-
phoric acid. Approximately, the pro-
portions should be, phosphoric acid,
two; nitrogen, seven, and potash, four
teen that is, for every pound of phos-
phoric acid there should be three and
one half pounds of nitrogen and seven
pounds Of potash. This is not the exact
formula, but it is near enough for prac'
teal purposes, and in form easy to re-
member and apply.
The economical use of fertilizers re-
quires crop experiments. Only by them
can the farmer tell what elements OF
plant food his land needs.
1t may be that his soil contain an
abundance of nitrogen for a large yield
OF potatoes, and small yield is due to a
deficiency of potash and phosphoric acid.
In that case it is money thrown away to
supply an excess OF nitrogen, the most
costly of plant-foods in commercial ferti-
lizers. II his land contains an abun-
dance OF potash and phosphoric acid,
economy calls for an application OF nitro
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
Better Than Tight Lacing.

"How did you get your waist so small,
Mabel? 1t used to be nearly as large as
mine"
"Ah, that's secret" was the answer
with smile.
edo tell me. Can't you see what
sight am? I've tried all kinds of flesh
reducing medicines, but none of them
seems to do any good"
"Well, l will tell you. It's trick l
learned from Harry while he was at West
Point. You know how small wasted he
ISL"
The other nodded.
81 asked him once how he did it, and he
told me that he stood squarely on his feet,
So But come up stairs, and I'll show
you"
The young lady donned pretty gymna-
stun suit-she was high school girl
and standing erect, with hands uplifted
and the thumbs locked, she gracefully
swooped down until the tips of her fingers
touched her toes.
1.-THE point is" she said, mot to bend
your knees at all. 1t looks easy, but try
it once. 1t will take lots of practice to
touch the floor, but after awhile it will be
easy"
elbow many times do you go through
that notion"
81 began with so times every morning,
just after | got up, and gradually in
creased until now do it 200. It's sure
cure for too stout waists. PHILADELPHIA
| Press
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
Curiosities in Opinion,

The vagaries and the disturbances in
human belief and practice constitute an
interesting chapter in human history. The
conflicts in opinion are doubtless some
what like the agitations Of the OCEAN
natures means of maintaining CONSERVE
tism, and for the prevention of stagnation
and corruption.
One of the rarest things in the world is
two people whose opinion-whose creed
and whose practices-coincide in all feat
ures. 1t is much easier to find two faces
and two figures identical in appearance.
Diversity and contrariety seem to be well
established laws and conditions in the
human family. There is no standard or
type to which the Caucasian especially
conforms in all particulars. A. and B. may
agree precisely in everything else, yet they
may differ widely in religious matters. c.
and d. may fraternize fully on ninety-nine
points, yet go to war or to law about an
other. We have seen Miss +. turn up her
nose in horror and disgust at what Miss f.
thought was in perfect good taste and in
the height of fashion.-Detroit Free Press.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
An Opinion of Value.

1t takes some lawyers to know how to
achieve success whether or no. To such a
one an acquaintance applied the other day
81 say, George" he said, "I've got a
case want to ask you about and see if
you will undertake it for me'
state it, " responded the lawyer.
The acquaintance did so.
"Now, what do you think of it," he
asked.
81 wouldn't touch it with 10 foot
pole"
rs that your professional opinion?"
"Thats just it.
"All right, I'll drop it." And he start
ed out.
"By the way" suggested the lawyer,
"you owe me S25."
"What for?" asked the astonished Wis
itor, stopping short.
my professional opinion in the case you
have just submitted, was the unblushing
answer, and the dazed visitor paid it be-
fore he recovered his wits. -Detroit Free
Press.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
THE cURLEW MOUNTAINS.

The Curlew mountains are fine in winter.
They are not embedded in ice or snow;
The cuckoo calls from the greenwood's cents,
The thrush and the corncrake sing below,
The hounds are hunting, the rocks resoundino.
They follow the fawn that flies before;
The torrent comes down from the mountain
bounding,
Salmon are leaping beside the shore.
think of my mountain late and early,
Where blossoms are golden and glad and gay
Where the wheat springs high and the yellow
barley,
And birds are piping on every spray.
The tips of the rushes are heavy with honey,
There's butter and cream from the silker
kline;
No northern snow on its slopes so sunny
Will trouble its coasts or its harbors fine.
Where the bee has his home and is wisely
working,
And women eat honey from day to day;
But deep in my bosom care is lurking,
The love of my heart is far away.
Your tair, thin forehead, the wide worlds
wonder,
Your tresses that hang in a golden sheaf,
Have torn the strings of my heart asunder
And covered my head with cloud of grief
am as man that is even dying
For lack Of the jewel his eyes would see.
Oh, will you not visit me where | am lying
And take Gods blessing and comfort me?
-RpStOn pint
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
A Wealthy New York Company.

Neither the New York Central and Hud-
son River railroad nor the New York, New
Haven and Hartford railroad owns the
tracks running from the Harlem river
into the Grand Central station at Forty
second street and Park avenue. They are
owned by the New York and Harlem rail
road. The latter is distinct and indie
pendent corporation, though in 1878 its
property, exclusive of the Fourth avenue
horse railway, was leased to the New York
Central and Hudson River railroad for a
period of 40l years, the New York Central
guaranteeing per cent on the stock and
interest on the bonded debt of the New
York and Harlem.
The Fourth avenue horse railway is still
run Independently by the New York and
Harlem company and pays additional divi-
dends to the stockholders Of 2 to per
cent. The New York, New Haven and
Hartford railroad uses the New York and
Harlem tracks from Williamsbridge into
New York city, paying rental therefor
New York Evening Sun.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
Scarfs and Scarfpins.

The assertiveness of neckwear as a DOM
inant factor in the masculine ensemble
has had much to do with the enhanced i'm
portance of the scarfpin. Indeed, from its
position in the fabric and because of its
glitter, which first catches the eve, it is
perhaps the most conspicuous apputte-
nance of mems wear. There has come to
be therefore, OF necessity, fixed etiquette
of the scarfpin that may not be defied with
out offending good taste.
In the 'all over" big scarfs the Burling-
ton 'once over" and the rest, there is. as
with all the De Joinville school, including
the Ascot, an absolute necessity for the
scarfpin.
There are in these instances certain Dor
tions of the scarfing to be held together in
certain place and in certain way. The
absence of the scarfpin under these circum-
stances would indicate that such an article
was not in the repertory of the wearer of
the neck dressing 1t were therefore bad
Judgment to attempt to wear fine neck
scarf incompletely, and punishment of
impecuniosity at the same time.-Clothier
and Furnisher
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
THE HUMAN SPLEEN.
A Curious Bodily Organ That Is an ENG
ma Even to Physicians.

A Curious Bodily Organ That Is An ENG
ma Even to Physicians.
The human spleen is physlologicdi
mystery-one of the enigmas OF the hu-
man makeup. 1t is spongy, PUPPY or
gan. weighing about two pounds on an
average. VARYING in shape i'll different In
dividnals the color much resembling that
noted in the kidneys and liver. Two or
three hundred years ago the NJ. u were
almost unanimous in the OPINION thaC d"
secreted a 'venom," and that tne lre
ouent and persistent use of cathartlcs was
very necessary in order to eliminate 'he
"spleenic poisons" from the system
Shakespeare and other writers OF the RAIN
er indefinite period mentioned ABOVE ire
uuently allude to the venom OF the
snleen u and one eminent fellow OF the
Roval society advocated the curious IDEA
of removing the organ and extracting Its
poisons in alcohol to be used in neutrallz-
ing the virus of blood poisoning.
Practically speaking, the spleen Is an
unknown organ even to the enlightened
physicians of today. One of them Will tell
you that perhaps it has its uses; that IL
NAV serve the purpose of withdrawing
surplus blood from the circulation when
the heart is unduly or unnaturally excit-
ed, and that in all probability it acts as
kind of safety valve to hold the action of
other organs in check, and then if you
press him still further he will tell you
providing he keeps his temper-that he
doesn't know anything about It'll That
has been my experience at least.
But 1 haven't, told you anything yet
about the spleen in particular, and from
the admission already made as to the "un-
knowableness" of the organ it is not at all
likely that this "note' will prove store
house of splenic information. One writer
on oddities in physiology believes its func-
tions to be the formation of red blood cor
puscles from white ones, but as it is a
granular organ with no outlet for secretion
it is safe to say that it was not put in its
present position for the purpose mentioned.
believe that the idea arose from the fact
that more red blood corpuscles are found
in the spleen than in the organs adjoin-
ing it.
Although the normal weight of the Or
gan under discussion is two pounds, there
are cases ON record of its being found in a
diseased condition, weighing upward OF
90 pounds.
Removal of the spleen does not seem to
interfere with the general health and spir
its, which seems to argue in favor of the
idea of its being "useless bodily organ.
Zacarelli was the first to make an opera
ton of the kind in 1919 ellison collected
statistics of IS removals, the patient full!
recovering in each instance.-St. Loui
| Republic.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07

About the beginning of the eighteenth
century ladies wrote large, round, open
hand, not much unlike the Italian. As
the. century grew older the light angular
style of our grandmothers and great
grandmothers came into vogue. Feminine
handwriting was then painfully uniform
Individuality was almost unknown.
Latterly, however, our girls have asserted
their Independence in this direction as in
so many others, and the civil service STYLE
is now much affected.
Among ladies distinguished for the
beauty of their penmanship-or penwom-
anship-was Charlotte Bronte. who wrote
a very small, very delicate and carefully
finished hand. Mrs. Hemans wrote in a
free, flowing style. Elizabeth Barrett
Browning's manuscript was very neat and
carefully punctuated, the writing being
distinct and legible, though the letters
were not well joined. Cham ers' Jour
nal
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
Great Men and Their Oniniana

DR.. johnson in ali his greatness defied
the world of fashion and opinion, living
the life of a sloven. Our own DR.. Frank
lin was like the Englishman in some re-
spects, and he appeared to be fond of i'm
itating him in others, for he persisted in
wearing shaggy, shabby old cap, even
among the savants and crowned heads of
the Old World, when he was the United
States minister at the court of France.
Every schoolboy has heard how Nero
defied public opinion, living in riot and
revelry when the souls of his countrymen
were in woe and blood. Napoleon rubbed
his hands over banning Moscow, saying,
"This is comfortable" Half million'sol.
diers were at the same time reading the
doom of death in the lurid flames.
1t was the conflict of opinion which gave
birth to the maxim that Where igno-
rance is bliss 1t is folly to be wise" Cor
rectness and taste-even these frequently
depend upon the mental standpoint of the
Individual sitting in the Judgment seat
Detroit Free Press.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1894-06-07
Shaving Among the HindOOs.

The Hindoo is contemner of Boards
and one-half of his head is devoid of hair
he only leaving long lock which grows
from the back of the head This is relic
of the belief that has taught them the
angel of death used this cue to drag them
to heaven.
Women are great patrons of the barber,
for the Brahminical law is very explicit
on this score, and provides that widows
must keep their heads shaved. This rule
is most rigidly enforced, and the unfortu-
nate widow has to make herself as ugly as
possible, and gracefully submits to an OPP
Grafton which deprives her of her greatest
ornament, for Brahmin women have
splendid heads of hair and their couture
sets it off to exceptional advantage 1t is
put up in n coil The rich partially cover
this huge knot with thin platter Of
beaten gold, while the poor entwine in it
the gorgeous flowers of the marigold.-
San Francisco Chronicle.