davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
Elephant Hunting.

Professor Garner, the monkey man,
as he is not very hatteringly termod,
while ut the Authors Club, London,
told some stories about elephant
hunting; in fact, no talked about
everything in the African jungle ex-
cept monkeys, although ho did tell
some stories about gorillas. His
chief story WIS about Barnum and the
killing of tho big elephant which
Bnrnum possessed. Tho professor
evidently does not believe the yarns,
that are told on their return by great
hunters. This elephant of Barnum's
was taken out OIL n parade ground to
be shot and forty-livo men belonging
to company of militia at Bridgeport
did the, firing simultaneously. The
elephant was patiently to the place
of slaughter, and the fatal spot was
marked on the bruto's hide with chalk.
After tho fortyfve men had fired,
thirteen bulletholes were found in tho
elephant, all, however, outside of the
chalk ring. The professor worked out
sum in simple proportion. Ifforty-,
five men can only put thirteen bullets
III IL hhrnilcSS porblOn Oh tame ole
plants body, with the vital spot
marked out in chalk, how can ono
man hope to do great deeds on n wild
elephant in an African jungle with no
chalk marks on its body?
Professor Garner was guest at
Douglas Sladen's eat Home" aud
among tho people there assembled
was celebrated London publisher.
A gentleman asked the publisher if he
had been introduced to Professor
Garner. who had caused the monkeys
to talk.
"oh." said the publisher, ''I have
known Professor Garnor for many
years.
"Reallyi" replied tho other; "did
he tench you to talk P"-Dotroit Free
Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A New Railroad Spike.

An invention of considerable value
in railroad construction and of great
interest is II now spike. With the us
ual shaped head, it has intentions Mt
the sides anu barbs or notches at in-
tervals. The purpose of these is to
hold the spike firmly in place. When
driven into the wool the fibres, which
IRE ordinarily damp, will swell and fill
the intentions or grooved spaces, and
will hold the spike firmly in place.
The tenaoity of the new style rs com
pared with the old plain spike is III
most MS great rs the difference be.
tween nail and screw. By the use
of tho improved spike the dangers OF
railway travel are greatly decreased,
rs accidents from spreading Of the
rails are said to be almost impossible.
New York Ledger,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A Light Tint Has Shown 100 Years.

During the past 100 years bright
light has twinllled nightly in the win
dow of n farmhouse ut South Ferry,
milo below Snunderstown, on tho
west store OF the bay. This light has
been Welcome beacon to mariners
who have run in under the lee of
Beaver Tail to escape the fury of out.
side tempcsfs. But now, for the first
timo in this long period, the farm
house has been deserted, and stands
solitary and dark. For tho past few
years the dwelling has been occupied
by j. i. Eaton, the well-known pilot.
Flo established o reporting station
there, connected by telephone, and
vessels which put in for harbor in
time of storm were so reported. Pilot
Eaton has moved up to Saundcrstown,
to get within speaking distance of q
neighbor or two. He has taken his
telephone along with him, however,
and will still circulate among storm
bound craft which desire to be re-
ported MS formerly. Providence "a.
IL journal.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
HiLernation of Snalls.

It is believed that oil sholl bearing
land mollusks either hibernate or res.
tivate according to conditions of eli
mate. Most of the snails close the
aperture with membranous OF coria-
ccous covering, consisting of lime and
mucous, which is called On epiphragm.
w. G. Binney has thus described the
operation: "The animal being wit h.
drawn into the shell, tho collar is
brought to level with the aperture
and quantity of mucus is poured
out and covers it. A small quantity
of mir is then emitted from the respi-
ratory foramen, which detaches the
mucous from the surface of the collar
and projects it in q convex form like
bubble. AT the same moment the aui-
NAL retreats farther into the shell,
leaving vacuum between itself, and
the membrane, which is consequently
pressed back by the external dir to
level with thenperture or even farther,
SO rs to form concave surface, where,
after becoming desiccated and hard,
it remains fixed. These operations
are nearly simultaneous, and occupy
Dut I'LL luStult. las bno Wluuer au-
vances the snail withdraws deeper and
deeper, shutting itself out by other
epiphragms, like retiring army COW
cring its front by breastworks MS it
retreats, until sometimes it has made
no less than half dozen, one within
tho other. With the snails such rs
ours, That inhabit moist wooded dis.
tricts, this protecting wall is thin and
nearly transparent, while i'll those of
arid regions it is thicker and often,
calcaroeus. Some of tho largo heliceS
of south Europe secrete q somewhat
shelly opiphragm resembling the
coating of turtles egg, convex ex-
formally, with the edge turned in and
roughly comonted to tho aperture OF
the shell. In this condition, if not
resuscitated by moisture, tho snaila
will remain alive for an indefinite
period. Popular Science Monthly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

Tho officials of Russia seem to havo
n queer way OF making their financial
calculations. 1t is pretty well known
to the finnnciers of tho world That the
condition of things i'll that empire
is none of the brightest, and has not
been getting any better for n long
time; and there was good deal OF
surprise when the minister of finance
made his reports recently, to find
that he claimed surplus in the
treasury over NIL ordinary cxpendi.
tnres of some $31 900, 900. The OK.
perts set about finding where he go,
the figures, and at last discovered that
he arrived at them by tho simple
process of entering all borrowed
money as clear income, instead of put
ting it down on tho other side of the
ledger rs debt. Asa matter of fnct,
it seems there is really . deficit OF
some $l4, 900, 600 and not much pros.
poet of making it up. Crops are
growing worse all over the empire,
business is declining, all the inland
banks arc practically insolvent, and
whole provinces are i'll arrears Of taxes
from way back in the eighties.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

American stamp is the fiye-cent New
Haven local. 1t is worth $1,000. only
a single specimen being extant- This
one was discovered by accident among
lot OF papers belonging TO adefunct
Smithsonian professor. AConfederate
five-cent stamp of Livingston, Ala, is
valued at $3.50.
A good many Senators and Repre-
sentatives are collectors of stamps.
John Sherman has valuable collec,
ton; so, also, has Mr.. Adee, Second
Assistant Secretary of State. Baron
Fave, the Italian Minister, has several
volumes filled with stamps, which are
appraised ut 80, 900. Not o few Gov
eminent employees at Washington col
leot stamps, particularly those whose
official duties make il easy to secure
such curios. 1t is said that stamps
ore an excellent investment; good
collection is sure to increase in value
year by year.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

Tho New York Post thinks that the
nrming of train hands rs II defense
against train robbers bids fair to be
successful in discouraging the robbers
and wipinS out the business. Several
instances have recently been recorded
in which the robbers were driven of,
some of them killed and others cap
iurcd. Another case is reported from
Kansas. Several of the robbers Ind
struggled themselves on tho train, and
as they were crawling over the tender
we're discovered by ono of the train
mon, who opened fire upon them, kill.
ing one and wounding another. At
the same time others of the gang ON
the roadside opened fire, but were
driven of, and one man and two horses
belonging to them were captured. Al
this rate train robbing will soon cease
to be profitable undertaking and
travellers will feel more secure from
molcstation on their journeys.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
Disease. Proof Suit of Clo,,,os.

The description comos to us Of n
certain "disease-proof" suit of clothes
to be found in tho Patent ollisyiat
Washington. The suit is intended to
DO worn by IN operating surgeon. II.
is complete suit ofrubbor armor, re-.
Hembling, in fact, the dress of m
ordinary diver. This is oonstrneted1
on alright principles; theresszssal ~ IA 3
disease germs can enter. A small pair
OF bellows is to bo found beneath each
loot which, being compressed by the
action OF walking, blow fresh mir ii, an
Ingenious manner through tho armor
rms mir enters, and is filtered through
a a, germ-proof diaphragm under each Of,
the ieet passing upward and out
81 through ron diaphragm which iaplaced
s'on further adds that the operator
mas protection afforded to. his visual
organs through two glass eye,pieces.i
Rochester Post Express
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
The Danger of Trivial Wounds.

"A medical piper commits itself to
tho statement that many lives are lost
each year in consequence of tho lack
o. little common sense respecting
simple cuts OF wounds on the hands
or other parts of tho body. Several
caees have been recorded of inguests
relating to persons who have died
from blood-poisoning arising from
small cuts on the hands. The history
In NIL OF these cases varies but little,
and is practically the same. A man.
Tor example, while working at his
trade, OF even while carrying out the
simple detail OF cutting piece OF
bread, receives II small cut on the
hand. The injury is SO trivial that
anything is considered good enough
with which to stop Tho bleeding, and
this end having been attained, mo
more is thought of it. The small
wound is left to take care of itself.
and is exposed to all sorts of filth.
mess and sources of infection. BY
thorough attention to cleanliness the
untowaru consequences OF a wound
liable to become infected can be
effectually prevented. On the other
hand, when the scpticnmic attack has
declared itself, MS rule, little can be
done by the surgeon to stem the
yirnience with which it develops. II
should, therefore, be borne in mird
that SO long MS wounds, however
small, remain nnhealed, the risk of
contracting blood poisoning will al.
ways be present. New York Tele-
gram,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

sold in two yeass he Melted over $780,.
ooo, and at onetime had three factories
ana over 500 people employed in the
manufacture.
Inc most successful fakirs are clean,
wen dressed, and possess t'about
enough brass to got along" sIn adj
dltion to these qualifications the sue
cessiui fakir must have the gift of
gab' " said his majesty. ga good
man must be able to talk better than
the worst lawyer, and if he can mako
the folks laugh, or tell q good story,
all tho better. New York Advertiser
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
Perseverance Made Telcgrapliy.

'The success of Morse, the inyen.
tor OF the telegraph, was strong ex-
ample of persistence. He was paint.
er OF repute, and did not turn to any
occupation but that of an artist to
make money and a name. But no be.
lieved that ho had something worth
fighting for in tho telegraph, and he
went to work with his experiments.
Morse was often hard up during the
early history of these experiments.
He used to mako his meals on bread
and milk, and there were times when
he didn't know when tho few pennies
that were to pay for this frugal fare
were to como from. Speaking of
Morse reminds mo of the fact that
Ezra Cornell, founder of Cornell Uni.
yersity aud one of the founders Of the
Western Union Telegraph, was q man
OF great persistence. In pursuance of
his policy of consolidating the small
lines of telegraph into one grand sys-
tenn he bought up the stock OF u lot of
small companies in block, and 80
locked up his money all of which had
been gained earlier i'll life by tho ex-
erciso of tho same persistent quality
Ito such an extent that he was looked
upon almost with pity by his friends
who did not share his confidence in
tho scheme. But the bulldog element
in Ezra Cornell won, and it was fit
ting that lie should devote large
proportion of the fortune he won in
Western Union to establishing nm in
stitution of learning where young men
of persistence would be encouraged in
their determination to so forward aud
win,-NeW York Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
AN AUTHORITATIVE ENDORSEMENT.

LADY, should like to look Mt n
INT which l SEQ is for rent in this
building; but no ono has answered my
bell"
Man-'I'll show 1T to you. Right
this way, num-
"Wcll, this is something like. The
rooms will suit, | I'm sure. What sort
of It ianitor have they hcre?"
''Thc very best in the city, mum. "
"Obliging?'
"Thc kindcst- hearted gentleman 10
be found anywhere, num-"
Honesty"
Gas the day is long, num-"
SIS he attentive to his dutics?"
Giles just workin' himself to death,
mum. Always thinkin' up some new
thing TO mike folks comfortable.
"Well, | declare! wouldn't lose
this fiat for the world. Where is the
janltor now?"
"l'm him, num-. Now York
Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
Cause OF Admiral Farrngnps Death,

The Rev. James j. Kane, chaplain
of the Brooklyn Navy Yard, said in a
recent lecture that the death OF Adj.
miral Farragut was due to the selfish
ness of woman. Tho admiral nm |
his wifo were coming from California.
when woman occupying scot in
front OF them in the car opened the
window. Admiral Farragut was III
and the strong draught of wind which
blew directly upon him chilled him.
Mrs. Farragut asked the woman cour.
teously if she would not kindly close
the window, rs it was annoying to her
husband. The woman snapped out;
mo, 1 won't ,close the window. I
don't care il 1t does annoy him. lam
not going to smother for him." Adj.
miral Tarragut thus caught n severe
cold, which resulted in his death. A
lew days before the end came he said:
III die that woman will be held ac.i
countable. Detroit Free Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

The Catholic Directory for the pres.
ent year shows a largo Increase in tho
number of priests, churches, members,
schools and religious communities dur.
ing the past year. The number oi
Catholics i'll the United States is given
sS,9O2, 033. There are seventy-two
dloceses, seventeen nrchbishops, seven.
ty-one bishops, and one cardinal. The
priests number 9717, of whom 1881
are secular and 24SG regular clergy.
men, or members of religious orders,
such as the Jesuits, Franciscans and
hedemptorists There are S72o
churches, 57O4 chapcls and stations,
eight universities and twenty-five sec.
ular seminaries, in which 2O76 students
are being prepared for the priesthood.
The priests of the religious orders
have sixty-one Summaries, educating
1887 candidates for their institutions.
There are 172 high schools for the
education of boys, 66S for tho oduca-
ton of girls, 1872 parochlal schools,
attended by 755,36s pupils. There
are 23S orphan asylums, having 80, 52G
inmates, and 1853 other charitable in.
situations. The total number of chill
dren in Catholic institutions is 500,
3o6. The archdiocese of New York
renks first, with population of $780,
600 Catholics, 555 priests, 212
churches, ITO chapels and stations,
one seminary, with 12S ecclesiastical
students; twenty-one high schools for
boys, thirty-threo high schools for
girls, 1913 parochial schools, with an
attendance of 40, 100 pupils; eight or
phan asylums, sheltering 245O. or.
phans, and fifty-one charitable institu.
tons. Compared with the statistics
of 1882, the increase in tho Catholic
population is 95,93s, priests, 800;
churches, 262; chapels and stations,
45s; seminaries, 25l; parochial
schools 145.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

A complaint comes from Russia of
the scarcity of physicians throughout
The Empire. The number of medical
men is only one in COCO of the cntiro
population. These nro mostly in the
large cities. The village population
has only ono in $4,000, while the re-
mote provinces have only ono doctor
TO 100, 900 people.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A VALUABLE PATENT

Tho man with patent lock snlutel
the President of the bank, and tho
President did not manifest great pleas.
urc i'll his callers presence
IL would like to show you, sir, q
patent lock which L" he began.
"Don't want to see it, +" interrupted
tho President. "Wo have NIL tho burg.
lar-proof locks we want"
"Ibcg your pardon, said tho caller,
"but this isn't burglar-proof lock
it's cashier-proof lock.
"Oh-ah -um" replied the Prcsi.
dent, apologeticnlly, "let me look ut
it. Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A LOGICAL MIND

Teacher !'ow, Johnny, we have
heard how this pcnniless boy, who
started out rs II rail-splittcr, grow up
10 he President. What lesson do we
learn from this story"
Johny-"That We ought to split rails
nm get TO be proa.r ents. "-Chicneo
Record.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
NOT WHAT HE MEANT no saw

Mrs. Cobwigger-''You must meet
with many conceited pupils those
who think they know it all"
Professor Strum -"rhat is to be
expected, madam. But 1 can tell Won
that after they get through with my
course OF lessons they don't know SO
much. Judge.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
COMMUNICATING EACH OTHER.

White (who is being treated by
Black -"licre's To your health, my
friend. They call you Black, but say
you arc white"
Black" Thank you. Why shouldn't
L treat you? You have always treated
me, White. New York Press.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

screw?" asked the bad little brother,
nearly twisting his sisters arm OF.
What do you mean, you horrid
boy? Don'ti You hurt me-"
why, papa and mamma were talk.
ing about how badly you behaved at
tho party last night, when papa said
you had screw loose somewhere, and
mamma said she would take you apart
and talk to you. "-Arkansas Traveller.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
rErAErEE IN auAryILnr.

Mrs. Groganey Indignantly -
"Iour CONT have been catin' Shamus'
washin oil the line.
Mrs. O'Rinrty with ire) "Thc
poor craychurl An it's pnyin' for it
You'll DC if he dies. Chicago Rec
ord.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A MAscu1lNE IYDIcArIoy.

'I'm afraid Miss Primm is getting
stropS minded" said Mr.. Bloobumpcr
to his wife.
Mercy! What makes you think
that?"
81 sec that tins note you received
from her to-day has no postscript. -
Puck.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

Athletics being the feature of the
age it is proposed 10 add special
athletic department to the Paris cx-
hibition of 1900. There would be n
retrospective exhibition of athletics IN
all ages, beginning with the Olympian
games and the combats of tho
gladiators in the Roman circuscs.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A roET's EASY TIMES.

Mothcr-"Do you mean to tell me
that your husband is out half the time
until after midnight"
Daughter more than half"
"And You never scold?"
"Never."
81 am amazed"
"You forget that my husband is q
poet"
"Whnt of that, pray"
"When he comes home early he NJ
ways insists on reading his poems 10
me. New York Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
LOCAL PRIDE.

GLOW are your" said tho New York
man to his Chicago friend.
'First-rate; things booming every
thing growing to be the biggest of its
kind on earth"
"Tho popular side got little tho
worst of it on the rapid transit qucs-
tion?"
eyes But I'll bet you anything
you like TINT our trolley will kill two
people to your cable roads one."-
Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
THE POOR POET.

Pcniield-"You have no soul, W.
man Instead of choosing poet, you
should have married II sausage mak er. &"
Mis-. Peniicld-"In that cnsc /
should, ut lcasi, have had enough to
eat. Truth.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

ut seems loo bad" said Mr.. Easy
well, that authors and reviewers do
not get OH together better"
"Yes," replied his wife; "the world
seems to be quite wrong. Judging
by what one reads, the critics should
all be novelists and the noyelists all
critics. Washington Star.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
JUST BUDDING.

Young Husband--"Amy, what
makes that baby yell i'll that wny?'
Young Wifo-.''llis teeth, dcnr."
Young Husband-"Oh, if limits nll,
III run forG dent st and have them
pulled ont. boston Home Journal.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
HIS MARROW ESCAPE

1t was III the far West.
",D"rling!" he whispered. "After I
left you last evening l walked on mir -
She met his words with look OF
wonder and amaze.
"Well, l declared" she exclaimed
"Who cut YOU down, Hank ?"-Town
Topics.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
SOULFtiLNESS.

EDO you know how beautiful You
nrc:" he whispered rs ho clasped her
in his arms.
"It is enough, il you know" she
murmured, and dove hcnd foremost
into his whiskers. Detroit Free Press
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
not RECOGNIZABLE IN PARIS.

rs SMARTER just right in saying
that he speaks French without any
noticeable acccnt?"
eyes, indeed. Without even n
French accent. "-Chicngo Record.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
ONLY.

"Ill work my fingers ends off to
support You if you'll only have me. Z"
"But l don't want slave"
"Ah, eonsideratc girl! What do you
require?"
Only"
'Love?"
"So; II millionaire. boston Ga
Zette.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

Tho nnmo OF tho maiden was GRAY,
And the name OF tho youth WINS Brown,
But when he had ircmblingly said his say
DO you think the falr damsel turned Brown?
Nay, nay.
She hcartlcssly turned him down.
-Chicago Tribune
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
AN OPEN QUESTION.

'Isn't it nice when man and wife
are of the same mind?"
"Whosc mind ?"-Hallo.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23

France has launched tho greatest
tonnage, then the United States, then
England and then Russia. Chile and
Argentine are represented in the race
for increasing their navy, which they
have been running for several years. -
New York Herald.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
EXPLAINED.

Shc-"I think That great many
foreign noblemen nrc nwfully plain
looking men,"
Hc-"Ycs, and that is why their
sovcrcigns feel called upon to decorate
them SO often. judge.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
TOO MUCH OF "rrlE o1rr1E.

Hc-"Why do literary people bore
literary people SOP"
Shc-"rhey each show tho othor
how literary people bore other per-
sons. Life.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
A fLArTEIiER.

Wee Mr.. Nicefcllo is sn,l
z1ettelers isht he8'
Z IN s sypkat hns he been saying?"
ss1f SCI 6Inh ffic said he thought
b. J; oif and Pm only eight. "
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
sScstern Australia. with popula-
vi only $4,000, is fully nine times
as great in area as oil of Great Britain.

An historical writer of recent dato
says that in the year 1920 it was moth
ing uncommon to SEQ teams of trained
bisons in Illinois and Missouri.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1894-11-23
Mcn.a..Mnr Lnunched in 1saa.

The following list OF men- of-war
launched by tho different nations dur
ing Che year 1899 uill no doubt inter
est our rcnlerss