Blackfoot news. (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1891-1902, 1894-05-26
THE OLD SQUIRE.
Was All Right as "a Politician, but He
Couldn't Outbutt a Billy Goat.


Couldn't outbutt a Billy Goat.
Back in the sixties old Souire
Leatherland was prominent man,
in Perry county Indiana He was
an odd character, too-Just such a
one as can only be found among the
hills and bluffs that frown upon the
pleasant waters OF the Ohio river.
Old man Leatherland owned a
small farm secreted somewhere in
the recesses of those bluffs.
Finally old man Leatherland grew
tired of doing nothing but raising
peach blow potatoes and scrawnv cab.
oages, picking blackberries from the
wild bushes. hunting foxes in the
hills and voting straight for Democ.
racy he had political aspirations
he wanted to be elected Justice Of
the peace.
Election day came. and old
Leatherland, who had been placed
on the Democratic ticket, was nm
with the sun and of to the polls AZ
the crossroads, says the St Louis
Republic, Late at night he returned
home flushed with victory and him
lous htlarity. Rushing in at the
door, he elasped his good housewife
in his arms and exclaimed:
"Ole woman, I've been made
squiar, b'gosh. Doc Strong run apin
me, but he was showed under s'deen
tnet he feels ornier than waller
dog. Whoopee! I'm squair, / am,
As old Leatherland continued hug
ging his wife the children yelled out
In unison: Yes. pap, we're all
squires."
The wife now broke away from the
embrace of her husband and re-
torted; mo, you're not all squiars.
you dang fool children. Nobody's
squiar but me and pap
The days flew by and Sonire
Leatherland was considered bv tbe
citizens of the township to be a Sir
Oracle from whose lips fell ONLY
words of wisdom.
But the serenity OF Old Sonire
netherlands life vas broken when
he bought billy goat one dav
ms goat would butt anything from
stone wall to the lover that called
on Samantha Ann, the sources
daughter. Finally. this goat made
himself too promiscuous, aud old
Squire Leatherland concluded To
''caH him down. He went about II
in an odd way. The squire placed q
big cast-iron pot over his own head.
with the bail under his chin, much
after the fashion OF Columbian
guards headgear. It was snug
Mt Then the old squire placed him.
sell on all fours in the barn lot, |
bowed his neck and cayorted around |
to attract the attention OF the billy |
goat. The goat was ready for the |
fray, and also bowed his neck. stiff. /
ened his legs and bounded toward /
the old squire.
Bah Beh-eh-eh." and the billy /
goat delivered one OF his most +
scientific butts.
Old Squire Leatherland went
through the air IN two somersaults
and landed in fence corner with the
Ola cast iron :pot driven downsthe
his head so tightly that he could
not remove it. No part of his face
could be seen except that those grav
galway whiskers were sticking out.
ward from beneath the pot. He
tried to call for help. but his voice
sounded feebly from the inside OF
the pot. And the billy goat CON
tinued bntting his PROSTATE foe.
fortunately one of the old sauire's
sons came out, and. seeing the
predicament of his father, made the
goat retreat by using billet oil
wood. When the pot was broken
and the pieces removed from the old
'quire's head, and the blood was
streaming from his face, he looked
about him in a dazed sort Of way and
"Goldarn it! en- outrun any Twin
nan for jestice nv the peace, but /
'ain't outbutt that billy goat, even
when I've got the old woman's sour ;
rot on my head. -"