The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-07-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

iftuuWOpu, LINN.
To the victors belong the privilege
of fighting over the spoils. Puck.
Contentment is better than money,
and Just about as scarce. Texas Sift-
ings.
Money that is boarded is no more
use tnan bread that is buried. Mil
waukee Journal.
We all of us live and learn; but
some of us live great deal more than
we learn. Puck.
The tramp will not descend to slang
when it comes to using "soap" as n
synonym of money. Puck.
Father-"Tommy, what's your
mother baking-a cake" Tommy
"Can't tell yet. 1t isn't done. Life.
Most men would he pretty we'll sat
isfed with the world IL no one in il
were better of than themselves. -
Puck.
There are some mortals who are
never happy save when they have some
hurt feelings to enjoy. Galveston
News.
Every man should try to live so that
the world will not be made very much
better by his getting out OF il. Gal.
weston News.
II a woman's age could be told by
her teeth, like horses, man would
occasionally have chance to edge q
word in.-Puck.
Lover-'I assure you, Herr Meyer,
I cannot live without your daughter. ="
Herr Meyer--"Oh, you overestimate
my income. "--Fliegende Blaetter.
"Ahr" remarked tho great musician
as he walked the floor with his bowling
offspring in his arms, sit IL much
easier to compose grand opera than Il
wakeful baby"
"Dapper feels terribly uncomforta-
BILE about his wife's mannish ways.
Goes in for athletics, eh?" "No,
but she won't learn To build n fire. -
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
81 understand you've bought dog
to keep burglars away" "Yes." !"
"You are not troubled any more ut
night, then, / supposed" 'Only by
the dog. Tit Bits
Court--"Why should the prisoner
have an intorpreter2 Cant he speak
English?" Attorney-"No, your
honor. he's railway trainman. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
IL will be noticed that the man who
advertises u sure scheme for getting
rich in n hurry always requests you to
inclose u lew postage stamps for his
recipe. Washington Post.
"Rest and change are good for peo.
pie" said the wife IA she rose in the
night to rifle her husbands pockets.
"I've had rest, and now think I'll
have little change. buffalo
Courier.
White-'T wonder that Gray
should think OF marrying that woman.
She is not on speaking terms with her
own mother" Black---"Perhaps that
is why Gray marries her. boston
Transcript.
Mother--"What have you done 10
your little sister," Boy--"Nothin'. "
"Then what is she cryin' for?" 81
dunno. Guess she's cryin' because
she can't think of anything to cry
for. - Good News.
Mrs. Bewtay Patrick, that is
my picture; but it fatters me q lit.
tie. Patrick-"It would have to
hatter you good deal, mum, To look
as we'll ss you do in my eyes, mum. "
Boston Transcript.
Whats old Swizzles, the million
sire, looking so pleased about? He
just lost $4,000 in stocks" ayes,
bat afterwsrd he managed to get u
free ticket to a seventy -fye-cent show. "
Washington Star.
Papa Are you sure that you and
mamma thought Of me while you were
away?" Little Grace--"Yes; We
heard man just scolding awful about
his breakfast, and mamma said,
That's Just like papa '"--Chicsyo Ia.
ter-Ocean.
Clerk-"Does 1T take you an honr
TO 20 around the corner?' Boy-"A
man dropped a quarter down hole in
the sidewalk. Clerk -"And II took
you all this time TO get it out?" Boy
Yes, sir. / hal to wait till the
man went away. y."-Harlem Life.
He-"You are the only woman I
have ever loved" She--"Do you ex-
pect me to believe that?" He-T
do. Iswesr it is true" She--"Then
/ believe you. Any man who would
expect woman to believe that can.
not have been much in the company