The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-05-19
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Her Tender SoIicitude The Act Of
True Friend The Monarch Of the
PIaee--A Remedy, Etc, Etc.
HER TENDER soLICITUDE.

ecuIlculdH WdlllHS III lilc OJiici iOOii'
He wants TO speak to you.
He-Do you know him
She-You must forgive me, dar-
ling, but of late you have been
troubled with cough; besides you
take so little care Of yourself, and
Oh, il you only knew how anxious i
am about you! Suppose / were to
lose you, love. (She bursts into Sob
bins and throws herself on his
breast.)
He--Come, my dear, silly child,
do be calm, do be calm. People don't
die OF cold. Still, il it will pacify
you show the doctor in. Who is it ?
Doctor Pallot, eh?
She-It isn't the doctor, dear. 1t is
it is-it is life insurance agent
Il Harlem Life.
THE ACT OF A TRUE FRIEND.
"Does this new photograph Of
mine do me justice, love ?" said
Miss Giddy to her dearest friend.
1T does more" replied Miss
Flypp. Its really merciful to
you. = Harper's Bazaar.
IN THESE DEGENERATE DAYS.
OF the twenty-six barons who
signed the magma charta three
wrote their names and twenty-three
made their mark. This is all changed
now. Every baron can write, but
only few succeed in making their
mark. = Boston Transcript.
A REMEDY.
"Ah, doctor my son is so poorly
and jaded he never gets to sleep before
O'clock. Cannot you do something
for him ;"
Hum Suppose we try a simple
remedy to start with. Let us make
him give up his latchkey. "-LLondon
Million.
THE MONARCH OF THE PLACE.
The two drummers were sitting N
the office OF Chicago hotel, descant-
ing upon the manners Of the clerk,
who did not altogether please them
when man came in and the erst-
while naughty clerk became all
obeisance.
Look at him, now, will you ?"
said one; "he's polite enough to that
party l guess it must be the head
clerk"
Not much" dissented his com
panion; cit must be the landlord. "
"Or the owner Of the house. Sup
pose we ask him, and they APP
preached the clerk. in suppliant
attitude.
WAS that the head clerk ?" asked
the older drummer.
Nav" replied the clerk scorn-
fully.
"Was it the landlord ?"
Nav"
"Was it the owner Of the house J"
Course not; what you take me
for That's the man that holds the
mortgage on the whole shebang.' -
Il Detroit Free Press.
RURAL ADVANTAGES.
City Man-Whew Seems to me
it's about as hot in the country as it
is in the city.
Suburbun Host-Y-e-s; but II you
get overcome by the heat here and
fall in faint you are in no danger OF
being dubbed by Il policeman.
WILLIAMS IN LUCK.
Merchant - William, hasn't the
baseball season opened ?"
Clerk-Yes, SIR.
Merchant-Well, William, / don t
want you to kill off all your relatives
so you can 60 to their funerals once
or twice week. Here's pass
detroit Free Press.
MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES.
II undahstand, said Chappie to
Cholly, that Willie Wibbles has
gone into twade."
impossible " replied Cholly.
"Dweadful, isn't it Do you think
we can pwopahly associate with him
any noah ?"
Il don't know, we might make an
execution in his case. You know he
is really too stupid to have the first
chawnce in the world of being sue
cessful and wemaining a shop
keeper. - Washington Star.
THE RESULT.
Willie Wilt-Do you know, fancy
l have quite literary bent.
Van Demmit-All right, my boy ;
keep on and you'll be worse than
bent-youll IL be broke.-[Puck
FIsHERMEN's SUPPLIES.
An enterprising-looking old coun-
tryman with large basket full OF
fine brook trout. was standing in
the doorway OF railway station.
A passenger accosted him and, after
admiring the fish, remarked;
Going to take them home for
supper, suppose?"
Not il can help it," the grinning
rustic replied, There be party OF
city gents as went out fishing from
here this morning. They're spected
back soon, and I'm just a-lying round
waiting 10 save their feelings. -
/ fHarlem Life