St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1894-02-03
GOOD FROM E3. IL.

"IIcr father and mine were bitter
enemies, yet each consented to our mar-
rage
Il heard both of them say it was, an
ideal revenge"
GUESSED IT, FIRST TINE.
He Gin anger)-I don't know WAY we
men marry, anyway, women are such
fools.
She (sweetly)-That's just the reason,
dear. Elmira Gazette.
THE INITIAL STEP.
Mrs. Barnes-Did you say you was
lool1in' fer work?
Willy Restless, mum; but, bcl1 lg a
detective, Pm only arter clues this trip,
VERY EroNoMICAI.
IIe-I can't send my clothes to the
tailor every time they need button.
We must economic. Can't you sew Cd
these suspcnder buttons yoursciI
She-Ilere, my dear, fasten them up
with hair-pin. That will say G thread,
you know. New York Weekly
"What reck we of the flight of timer"
shouted the blithest member Of the, bach
elor'S Publication party.
"Nothing," said the beetle browcd
member, thoughtfully, ''save, that to-
night is the evening before the morning
after. "-[Chicago Record.
ACLEAR CASE.
Mrs. Farmcr-I think that young man
from the city is tritling with our daugh-
ter.
Mr.. Farmer-Im sure Of it. He's the
most tritling man ever saw Detroit
Free Press.
SHE OUGHT TO BE SCHOOLED.
Wife, never enjoy hearing phono>
graph 1t always startles me to bear a
human voice coming out of box.
Husband-My dear, you surprise me,
considering the years you have attended
the opera. Truth.
THIS DILEMMA Is CALLED LOVE.
"I'm afraid l should be awfully I'M
happy if didn't marry Charley!'
hdIl lllu. CuCu.
Then know 1 should be unhappy"
-LChicago Record.
SHE WAS THE ADJOINING FEATURE
The Coquette-I'm afraid I've got too
many diamonds on. Beauty unadorned's
adorned the most, you know.
The OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES! Your dia-
mOnds are not half so beautiful by them
selves.
THE WAY OF A MEAN MAN.
Mrs. Suttle Gnsinuating John, Mrs.
Swiftly's husband has just bought her
lovely sealskin cloak"
Mr.. Suttle--I always said Swiftly had
a wheel in his head.
NO ICE THERE.
The Rector-Did you ever hear of tho
theory that people will have the same
vocations in the next world as they had
in this?
The Widow-I don't believe my hus-
band will. He was an ice dealer
Truth.
BULKY INVESTMENT.
II have some money to invest, and !
want to get all can for it." said Mrs.
Innocente to her friend farley, of Wall
street.
"Well, why not buy Turkish bonds'
They're worth about dollar q Dozen.
- IIarper's Bazaar.
PROPER PAY.
Mrs. Greene tes-Twenty- five dollars
a month? Don't you think those are
rather high wages?
Pretty Cook-No, ma'am; We see. |
always have policeman or two hangin'
around me an SO yez can dispinse with
the expinse of hirin' private watch
man.
TRUTH VS.. FASHION.
Mrs. De Swell (peering from her car.
riage)-Oh! l see Mrs. De Stickler up at
her window. Go coachman.) James,
stop the carriage. | wish to see if Mrs.
De Stickler is at home. = Puck.
COMPARISON.
Mary--You call him a beast. What
kind of one?
Kitty (who has been bored)- "A wolf,
l should say He's 50 difficult to keep
from the door, Harper's Bazaar.
BITTER WORDS.
OF all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest ever known, without
doubt,
Come on that day of terror when
The dentist says: ''l'hat molar must
come OUT
-[ Chicago Record.