Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1894-11-22
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BogGar-s Kind gentleman, bes your
pardon" cent promptly I-"t,r.tated.
thought LOU were begging for none. -
PipJor.
"Notliu-," says >crin1ilel, IL Hspre Al heart
cning to a man than The discovery that he
has married woman who loves 10 keep hi-
writing table in orGcr."-7tt- Bats.
ChoNy What did she mean ly= -ayiug /
coulju'; be any bigger donkey than WAS -
She Il suppose -he meant that you Tad your
growth LIfc.
The peaceful occupation OF washing -hrts
seem, 10 he better fitted To the Chinese character
than standing in front OF guus--Atchison
Giobe.
Theology isn't religion any more than a
fashion plate Is suit Of clothes" remarked
the Manayunk philosopher - Phiiadei phid
Record
Teacher to cambridge street boy "Now,
II YOU have meal at IL o'clock, what do YOU
call III" Luck" said the hoy.-PhiIadelphia
Record
Teacher what do you suppose Jonah
thought when he found himself inside the
whale" Johnny Bed Chased up on him
Detroit Tribune.
He-"My income i. small, and 1t Is cruel o
me to take you from your fathers roof" She
(anNiou-ly}-"I don't live on the roof
Christian Register.
Scientist tat railroad restaurant "Do you
know, sir, that rapid eating l. slow suicde;"
Drummer at may be; but this road slow
eating is starvation York Weekly.
'Dc trouble bout refohm," said Uncle Eben,
''am dat Il man gin rally staht9 out ter tackle de
universe, an wurks round by degrees ter IL
pus'nal short -eomin'-. Washington star
Lecturer (tomedlcal student This subjects
right leg + longer than his left, which causes
him to limp Now, what would you do In such
case" >tudcnt-"Limp, too uess."-Phii-
elphid Record.
what have you learned at school today
Robbie" "Ju-t how to take the back Of my
history and fl real good Indian story into it.
~ the tcarherean't find out that Amt study
inG "-Cbieago- Inter Ocean.
''Yc-.' said the physician, "Ac'- dead, poor
fellow. Ills hear, has ceased 10 beat That
last statement settles IT, said the friend III
there's any thing about slippery Pete that ha-
ceased to heat, hc certainly j. dead LIFE.
How eIo yotl like this here talk about .iyiu'
more bread fur the money r" said Flooding
Pete. Bully" replied Meauderiug Mike
'-AuythiH that means bigger loaf hts me-
Washington star.
Hotel Cierk-'We can give you all the home
comforts here" Uncle Ahucr FROM Squee
hawket Mister | want more'n that when
come to a eity, hotel. hin Kit hotae comforts
t. hum. -Harper's Basar.
81 never talk about the club 10 MY wife"
Il do. ! speak Of it in glowing terms and then
stay at home occasionally. - my wife thinks
there Inn more -elf sacrificing husband in
the world kat, Fieid's Washington.
Amy why did you marry Harry, who
never sent you any presents, while you refused
Jack, who was always giving you jewelry,
candy, books and the Ike" Mabel. Jack had
spent all his money. "-Harper's Basar.
Gentleman-"I thought you were a blind
beggar:" Beggar-"That's my lay. guy'nor"
Gentleman-"well, you are not blind now"
Beggar Indignantly sir, can't a poor
fellow take day OFF occasionally E"-Tit.Bits.
The Prodigal7 Return-Irate parent-"Well,
sir, you don't seem TO have made name for
yourself, after all}" Prodig al-"But / have
father; I've been Obliged To travel under half
dozen different ones."-Terds sQtiRgs.
Schoolmate-"Tt must be lovely TO be married
TO newspaper man. You get free tickets to all
the theatres and operas, don't you2n Mrs.
Scribbler-"l-e-s, but we never 90" why
not" I'VE haven't anything to wear "-Nelc
York Weekly.