The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1894-12-30
MERE PLEASANTLY.



Her synopsis.
IT was an army officers fye-year-oio
daughter, who looked unusually thougntIui
at breakfast one Sunday morning, ana ner
mother solicitously inquired:
Josephine. aren't you well? What makes
you so quietT' And the small Josephine
meditated briefly and then replied:
Mamma, I was JUS finkin' bout my
well, but ! member the lady was made
out OF rib and the gentleman was maoe
out of dust"
Beauty's Drawback.
Education should be made compulsory,
especially for girls" remarked man who
prides himself on his correct notions as to
feminine projections. eff the study OF
grammar, for instance, were required by
law the nerves Of sensitive and inoffensive
masculine. public would be spared ~any
harsh shocks. In church the other night
sat behind remarkably pretty girl; lovely
up-to-date hat, and all the rest OF 1t. She
attracted me so profoundly that l desired
church loitered d~ out close o behind her to
overhear her conversation with her COM
panion. an elderly woman in black. My
meddiesome conduct was deServedly pun
ished. for heard this charming girl say,
In the most dulcet tones:
Wei; you done me great; a-givin' me a
hymn book 'thout no hymns in itr'
Little Jules Grief.
The joys of Christmas-tide cannot be
measured; SO also the woes exist in a bound
less and pathetic unknown quantity. Lit
tie julie. unhappily for her, is the young
est of nine daughters. Christmas in such
a family, OF course, even from a full purse,
would mean vast expenditure of money;
and gift-giving from straitened means
necessarily implies a serious financial and
domestic problem. The elder girls talked
the matter over in little Jules presence,
dining room chairs were a shabby lot, it
would not be a bad idea to consolidate in
tentions and exchange presents of dining
room chairs. The subject was not men,
toned again, but as Christmas neared, lit
tie julie was discovered one night weeping
wildly under her bedclothes. What is the
mater matt little 3Iie from the
the small girl in suffering tones of pro-
foundest agony. 81 don't want dining
room chair for my Christmas present; I'd
can have chairs. 1 want--some-toys. Boo
hoo; boo-hoo.' So the rest took chairs, but
small julie had toys galore. -
Domestic Suggestion.
The man who knows a little of every
thing offers a pointer on the domestic
drawbacks of the telephone. II have had
one in my house good WHILE" he said,
land it suddenly occurred to me that I was
doing my children an injury in having it
there. When I was a little fellow I used
to be sent on errands to the corner gro
Gerry, the butcher, the baker, the candle
shoemaker: and long before I was twelve
years old / had very fair idea of the
needs of household and of what it costs
to live. Now that telephone communication
is so general, our children know nothing of
these things, and have no way of learning
what may hereafter be useful to them
Even moderately we'll off people are in
Children and robbnr ts Of 5pr
they should have. So have cut off my
telephone for while and am going to
turn my my boys y and girls into caterers for
will not be in the least detrimental"
As 1t Often Happens.
Not one person in ten can relate story
exactly as it is told; and frequently fright
full instances of conversational inaccuracy
come to light to make all talkative people
shudder and vow they will never utter an
intelligent sentence again while they live.
In harmless little parlor chat not long
ago. thoughtful woman remarked, in all
serious and reverentfal mood:
Il must confess that / cannot understand
the book of Revelations; it really overpow-
ers me-the imagery is so luXuriant and the
coloring so gorgeous; one might well fancy
that Ii was written under the influence of
hasheesh, or, some drug which would make
the fancy riot in magnificent description"
One listener understood the standpoint of
s the comment and ssympathzed with 1T; the
other woman looked aghast and soon hurried
away. In a few Gays the woman who
couldn't understand Revelations was Wis
tied by a committee from the church to
explanation of statement she had recent
ly made to the effect that ''she believed
John the Baptist was a morphine-eater."
Adelaide was to make a little railroad
trip by herself, and as she was still in
her teens and had never been away from
home alone. her parents felt some natural
anxiety as to her ability to take care of
herself. An old friend happened along at
the station, however, and as he was going
the same route, he was privately instructed
to please keep an eye on Adelaide, but
without allowing that high-Spirited maiden
to know of his surveillance. Not far out.
he observed that two giittering dudes had
singled out pretty Adelaide as fit target for
special attention. They sat just behind
her, and angled in every possible manner
to gain her favorable notice; but dainty
Adelaide held her head high and her slen-
der nose at a scornful tilt. Finally one of
the dudes leaned forward and deposited
two visiting cards on the window ledge at
the girls elbow. Her eyes did not even
deign to rest on them. Presently, at the
call of a way-station. the chappes left
the train, and stood on the platform cast
ing languishing glances in at Adelaide.
Then she aroused from her statuesque re-
pose, opened the window, and with sci
entific effort of one naughty finger tip,
Tipped the two cards full in the faces of
the astonished dudes.
Nursery Profanity.
Small Katharine has e. very vivacious
4 +bar uyhn uyifb ofn If
humorous intention, has the very original
and humorous habit of INDUCING in any Off
hand phrase or slang that may come into
her mind, and then tempering the lingual