Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1894-06-17
waiting for / o'clock train for Shots
vile, where they cam from.
h,,rak MA uan

vile, where they cam from.
Miss Pearline Skunk played some on
the piano. II was an instrument called
the BurlIngame and Touchmenot piano
and sells for SI75 to hotels. Its music
is still ringing in my ears. II you
could see me since l heard that wild
melody, you would see different man,
and my food and my wife both agree
with me now. I am more hopeful TOO.
Oh, how can l thank you enough.
Messrs. Burlingame and ToCchmenotP
Could you not sell me one and take
some Early Duchess OF Strikeleather
apples this fall toward IL?
She played and sang an instrumental
piece called the "Peewee Bird Waltz"
in G.. The Young folks waited In the
hall past my room No. GO Width
When I occasionally Strengthened
out in this room. is sprung the outer
wall so that the bulldog was not plumb.
All night, or until traintims, Pear
line played pieces with one hsnd, such
as s"Nesrsr. Ny God. 10 Thee" and
Mother. Is the Battle over?"
To-day received the following let
ter, inclosiag two cents for payment.
The letter is written in bright cochineat
ink and shows that am still able 10
command Already price for the work OF
my pen:
STELLA, Wash, Jan. 9th.
Mr.. Bill Nye;
DEAR SIR-Please send mo good lecture
on this subject IL Is resolved that rail-
road is more beneficial than steam ships
or sailing vessels is l am on the railroad
side there fore l want you 10 make apear
that railroad is the most benfical and
oblige one of the subscribers 70 the weekly
paper. Your respectfully,
MoKNEs MovRsT.
Stella, Cowlitz Co, Wash.
p. ST. send cents. NJ. M.
| print this letter hoping that other
litterateurs may read IL and join me In
a cast iron agreement to demand ~ least
3 cents. Why not combine In this mat
ter as other great industries do? Down
with a cent rate when We can have 81
Besides we ought 10 get sonsthing
extra for writing on the wrong side. l
always charge more for writing lee
ture on the other side. 1t Ia harder
work.
Another correspondent sends few
questions which venture 10 answer as
l 60 along.
What Is your iavorlte ambition?
My favorite ambition Is TO grow up TO
be great and coed man aad TO make
such ARRANGEMENTS toward the end OF
! life that the poor and needy may come
miles to see my nice tall monument
without money and without price.
What is your fayorite anImaR
NV favorite animal is the new milk
COW. The dog Is n faithful animal, but
hsis not by nature so pure or noble
as the milk COW. In the language OF
the president. "She gives us milk 10
drink and meat TO eat besides. Her
hide may be made into boots and shoes,
with which we may walk from place to
place and thus get there"
God bless the milk cowl
How can wa compare the career or
the Office seeker with that Of the slnless
COW? She does not come In for the
purpose Of annoyance, like the Office
seeker does. She does not hold her
hat in her haad and point out her good
qualities to the president, AZ so many
d O, but gives US nice fresh milk from
day to day. Hurrah for the milk COW,
bows, and may she have many happy
returns!
But the COW is not talented. l had
one once that | enjoyed looking at
great deal, but she would eat clothing
even with pasture full Of nice garlic
before her.
One night the milk did nor taste
garlic, bat OF an Irishman who worked
| ko. onA ~ hi
whom | was on terms OF intimacy.
started away TO the house, hoping
to settle with the family at once, but
met him on tho way and found that 10
was bis coat only that she had eaten. 1
paid for that ono and nine others be.
longing TO the rest OF the gang THAI
summer. They got so that they would
rub an old coat over her head and give
her an air which / recognized, ana
then would havs TO pay for the coat.
| bought nine coats that way without
seeing them, for every ono who will
stop and think for momsnt will re-
member how dark q COW Is 10 prowl
around ia especially IN the third
stomach. And / could not have tod
which was tho coat OF her stomach and
which we're the Irishmenh
Roots may be made from the COW and
also the tallow TO beautlfy them Tor
wearing purposes.
believe that the day Is not far dis
tant when the COW cud will DO utilized
and that the saleslady will also learn
from the COW the art OF raising and low
airing the cud at will. Heretofore the
COW end il the only thing that Mr.. Ar
nour has beeu unable 10 work Into
profit, but prophecy with my limle
prophesisr that some day the co" eua
will bs used behind all our counters
both By our salesladIss and gents.
In fancy 1 hear even now: "Heilo,
Manel Have you lost yer cudPD
"Yep, ye bet ys, did. Mandie, but
found that Earl had been a-chawin OF
H." -,
rWell, never let loose OF mine. I've
earnt how TO swally It and then resume
Ike ows does"