The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1894-06-20

a
the moment you draw your first breath
you're beset with trials and tribbyla-
lions and risks of all sorts. There's dan
ger lurking in the injerrubber tube Of
your feeding-bottle. and rocks ahead,
with commissions to follow. in the cutting
bf your teeth. The question is re-
aectively chewing the end Of the pen
holder. ''the question is. whether, with
so many risks ready-made and lying in
wait for you round every corner. it's
worth your while looking up a fresh one
for yourself. I dunno, 1 really dunno,
what 10 be at Soon's ever 1 get myself
pretty well screwed up TO the point the
shop BELLS sure 10 ring. and by the time
I've done serving customer I'm all run
down again.
He paused and run his hands through
his hair. which had already-what there
was of it-somewhat the appearance
Of the crest of a perplexed cockatoo.
Having done which. he again fell to
studying a small slip Of printed matter
which lay before him.
'T can't but admit as 1t reads WELL"
he observed, still as though addressing
an invisible third party. 1T reads well;
the question is. would it work as we'll as
It reads? 1 think I'll just run over it
again."
The text Of the above soliloquy proved
TO be an extract cut from the advertising
Sheet Of a local newspaper. and ran as
follows:
Matrimonial Agency: Strictly private.
confidential genuine. Mrs. wilkins has
secured several respectable widows, age
thirty-fOur to forty-f1ve; suitable for
small tradesmen and others. Write in
confidence 10 3 Grab Apple row. COwslip.
Stamp"
Mr.. Yabsley again had recourse 10 the
penholder while he continued TO muse
aloud:
I'm what you might call a small
tradesman myself-small but snug. The
thing is do 1 want wilder? I've man
aged without one for a matter OF five
Rpd-fifty year, and 1 might have done so
comfortably till the end but for that
drafted advertisement. Ever since it
caught my eye I've been sort OF un-
settled. not knowing my own mind two
ninnits together ! don't doubt but
what a widder'd be companionable; and
do find ii a bit lonesome sometimes
after the shops shut and the boy gone
home. But then I've heard as widders
is ticklish handling, and she mightn't hit
It off with Jacob
Jacob was the cat and by no means
unimportant member of the menage. At
the moment referred TO he was sitting
with his eyes fixed cOntemplatively on
the top bar of the CRATE, and had just
come TO the conclusion that he could
relish a bloater for his supper.
JACOB said Mr.. Yabsley. disturbing
his train of thought. whats your Onion
Of widders?"
Jacob turned his head slowly round
looked at him for a second OF so. as
though casting the matter over in his
mind. and then winked.
jacob, said his master reprovingly,
fyOu're a rank bad IN"
Then rumpling his hair. thirdly and in
conclusion he remarked decisively:
Anyhow I'll sleep on it."
The shop, which bore the name of IT.
Yabsley" over the door, was a tobac-
consists and newsmong er' s-the cOmpo-
site business being conducted by T. Yabs-
ley with the aid Of the boy. The latter
took down the shutters. swept out the
shop. cleaned windows and knives. broke
CrCckery. and made himself generally use
full, in reurn for three and sixpence a
week and his dinner.
When the tObaccOnist came down stairs
next morning, his face was still wearing
the worried. irresOlute look which he had
taken 70 bed with him.
He was precise, spare little man,
clean shaver, with the exception Of two
small struggling tufts Of side whskers;
which whiskers. together With the residue
of a head of hair. were, like his clothes.
OF useful drab tint. He wore speCta-
cles and a blue necl1tie with white spots,
which last article of adOrnment he fOndly
believed bestowed upon him a sporting
air not altogether incOmpa tible in one
whose stock in trade included the Sports
man as we'll as the Christian World
Having taken in the milk and boiled
the kettle, he next proceeded to cook his
own breakfast: for the boy did not put
in an appearance until later. for. with
the exception Of a woman who came in
now and then TO clean up" Mr.. Yabs-
lev did" for himself.
There were sausages for breakfast, and
ell.
pan, he set about cooking these delica-
cies with a dexterity that bespoke ample
experience.
The sausages frizzled gayly Mr. Yabs-
ley gazed beyond them into futurity.
- 'Suita bic for small tradesmen,' -" he
Tnurmured, turning them with a fork.
Wages thirty-fOur 20 forty-fve' Which
under the circumstances, would be the
most suitable? A thirty-fOUrer or q
forty-fver? Being fifty-fiver myself.
should say"
Here in his preoccupation he mistooE
the handle Of the frying-pan for the DO
ker. with such fatal results that the
sausages rolled in the cinders, while some
of the boiling fat took Jacob between
the joints Of the harness and made hin
swear like a trooper.
'Drat it, exclaimed Mr.. Yabsley. 'II
write for a wilder first thing after break
CAST"
l And before. another hour had passed
the subscription. Mrs. wilkins,
Crab Apple row, COwslip," had beer
4 dispatched On its way.
,.-- snort, was 10 Ih'
point IL simply said
Please forward sample widow on ap
prOvaL"
Mr.. Yabsley's hand shook a good dea
that day and some Of the best birdsey,
was scattered on the floor. Also, h
Dnce ran the risk of offending an excep
uonally seriOus-minded customer by prof
fering the Family Herald in the place o
the Methodist Recorder.
Il rather think, he comTnuned, aprO
pos Of this. Il rather think as l shall
burn this branch of the business over t
the widder-that is. if she turns out sat
lsfactOry. Bless me, thought with
start under SIGH circumstances, sh
won't be a wilder; she'll be Mrs. 7
Sabsley."
He looked round nervously as thoug
TO assure himself that there was no on
lurking within earshOt-
Timothy, my man." he continued
ryou must be uncommon careful or your
be compromising OF yourself, that's wha
you'll be doing. And now / come {
think Of It," he continued, visibly dis
turbed, IT have heard as widders ar
main artful Bless me, I wish I'd neve
sent that letter. Why, a sample Nigh
turn up at any minnit, and the boy gon
home to his tea and never no KNOWN
how long he'll take over It,"
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