Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-01-11
PlTH AND POINT.

1t lightens duty to resolve to pers
form it cheerfully.-Ram's Horn.
The man who is ''driven to drink
usually has to walk back.-Y onkerA
Statesmen.
-Tommy-"Paw, what is party
worker?" Mr.. Figg-' Pretty often he
is man who works the party."-Indi-
annapolis Journal.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. do people say
that you take after your father?" Will
lie-'.Whew, no; everybody says mann
ma does, though. "-Inter-Ocean.
-Chappie-"I-aw-heah that the
football piayah cut you out with Miss
Daisy?" Cholly (shuddering)-"Cnt
me out! He threw me out!'-N. Y
Press.
lis hitting the pipe,' as they call
it, very expensive?" "Humph! That
depends upon whether you go to an
opium joint or plumbers shop
Buffalo Courier.
The Finest Kind.-She (reading)-
"Bells are now made of steel in this
country" He-"Yes; but the finest
ones are made of silk and satin."-De-
troit Free Press
Where is VolSes now? The last
time I saw him he was contending
that a man should tell the truth in all
circumstances" 'He is in the hos
pital. IN. Y. Herald.
-Biff-'' Roberts fell off fifty-foot
ladder and wasn't hurt bit" Baf
-"Fifty-foot ladder? I don't believe
it at all" Biff-''Its quite true. He
fell off the bottom rung."
-Judge-''Do you understand the
nature of an oath?" Handy Jim-"And
me livin' tree years in a hash boardin'-
house! say, judge, what are We Civ
in us?"-Boston Transcript.
-Kind-Hearted Lady-"Are those
little cash boys able to hold their POI
sitions long at timer" Ola Shopper
well, try waiting for your change
once and you'll soon discover"
-"I do not think Mr.. Close gives his
wife any pin money" "Why do you
think he doesn't?" 81 asked for a pin
the other day when calling upon her.
and she hadn't one in the house. IN.
Y. Press.
-Pedestrian'Pe te--"Whatd did you AISLE
fur at the house up the oad?" timer
ant Ike-"I asst fur some cold vittles.'
Pedestrian Pete-"And wot did you
glt?" Itinerant Ike-''Cold shoulder"
IN. Y. Press.
-"And why do you want me to give
you dime?" asked the benevolent old
gentleman. swell, replied the bright
beggar, ''to tell the truth, I'm in tho
soup, and want to reverse the situa
ton. "-Philadelphia Record.
Aunt Maria-"And how were the
ladies dressed, Carrier" Carrie-"Why,
aunt. I'm astonished! Ladies ara
gowned, not dressed The word
dressed is only used in good society in
reference to food."-Boston Transcript
-"Binkins is going at remarkable
pace even for him" "He says it is
economy" Economy" eyes. He's
going to turn over a new leaf on New
Years day, and he wants to get as
much recorded as he can before he let's
go of the old one."-Washington STAR
-Proofreader-''I am sorry, but by,
an oversight I. have allowed the paper
to say that our railroad employees are
''uninformed." OF course you wrote
uniformed" Editor-"Yes; but, them
as the paragraph as it stands is per-;
fectly true, it doesn't matter. Boston
Transcript.
Where the Voice is Overworked.-
Physician-"Yourt throat is in bad con-
dition, my dear young lady, but think
/ need impose only one deprivation up
on YOU" Miss Smelsy-"What is It,
doctor?'' Physician-'T must absolute
~ forbid you to attend performances
of the opera. Chicago Record.
-Fogg-"It is not often that you find
two men with exactly the same views
on the tariff question, but Brown and
Blenheim over there agree to a dot
Figg-"But have they mastered the
subject?" Fogg-"Not at all. Neither
Of them has the slightest knowledge Of
The question, and both of them frank.
" admit it."-Boston Transcript.