The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1894-09-04
MADE MANY HITS.
William WObbles' Latest
Adventure.
Treated to Shower Bath for Ex-
pectOrating Through a MaHhole
With a Flaw in 1t.

ID saster and cold shower bath which came
from most unexpected quarter overlook VIII
liam Wobbies of the United States warship
Marion yesterday during the busy hours of
noon. Mr.. WObbles is now suffering from a
very severe cold, but he has been cured of a
bad hablt-a very, very bad habit.
Although selishness is by no means promi-
nent and Objectionable trait in WobDles char
acter carelessness is. It is sufficient of a rep
rimand to say that WObbes was guilty OF day
dfeaming and thoughtlessness.
Having acquired the obnoxious habit OF
chewing tobacco Wobbles necessarily had to
eXpectorate freely, ana these expectorations
were like unto the putting Of a small whale
Just yenJuTtng out upon the broad bosom OF the
ocean for few preliminary blows just prior TO
blasting defiance from aiar at the vigilant out.
look on the whaleT.
MIR. WObbles is an expert eXpectorater
aud once won prize on board the United
States steamer Marion for smooth ring fire in
the shaft alley spontaneously Ignied ten yards
from the place whore WObbies took up his
position as fireman for the occasion.
just ordinary old salt plug tobacco was use d.
but W obbles was success ul.
However, this is not explaining the able sea-
mans bad habit. Every person who has ever
been down on the water front or has walked
about the commercial parts of The city knows
that IN the sidewalk manhOles the little round
glassiights are sometimes broken out by con-
slant traVeI over them and small round
aperture is opened to the cellar beneath.
Wobbles discovered hole OF this nature 10
front OF his favOrite East-street saloon. Dur
Ing his leisure hours OF shore leave he has
paced 10 and fro opposite this creVice lombard
ing Is at intervals OF every TWO minutes with
sundry spots of reddish brown tobacco juice
Mr.. Wobbles simply desired to keep ia prac-
tlce. He IS kind-hearIed man and would not
Intentionally do human being any harm.
But ii came 10 pass that directly under the
flow IN the manhOle the East-street shop's
bottle washer, once the steward of a chop
house where the seaman took bis meals, piled
bis vocation indutsrIOusly.
TIE bOttle-washer was born on the southern
extremity of the Congo Free States. and is so
dark he can hardly be discovered with a mag.
nesium powder light. WObbles did not notice
him below.
Yesterday when the washer got down TO
work he removed his coat as usual and pro-
ceeded 10 business. Suddenly III re came a
tapping as OF some one family rapping, rap
ping on his eraDium's TOp
dang dose flies, Pee Destered to def by
'em," CALCULATED tile washer.
Three successive spots followed and struck
the bullseye.
Lands: if dem flies amt someen terlhcabIe.
Deys fairly puliin' d. wool out on me''
Then the bottlewasher made slap at the
roof OF his intelligence that would have felled a
mule
In the meanwhile Mr. Wobbles han Vorlsed
himself into a great Iitch OF excitement He
figured in his mind that he was on board the
United States ship Marion training gun or an
enemy and pouring hot shot into her sinking
huh.
lie chewed violently and attacked the man
hole from every point OF vantage. He ran drv
rushed IN and ordered a "steam," bit off more
ammunition and returned to The fray. He gave
the hole broadSide from port. spun around on
his heel two or three times delivering bow.
chaSers' and fire astern" with such deadly
effect that The bottle washer stopped short in
his work and shouted for an umbrella.
Ids roof is leakin', boss. Han me down
gum coat aud some rubber goloshes. Tween
de flies aud der spIutterinS of dat mud on der
front Pm sDeculatin' on tenderin' my instiga-
shun."
But there was no let up to the shower. The
washer jumped up the cellar steps three AZ a
time ana Overhauiing his shaving gear selected
keen blade. Then he sneaked through the
ladies' entrance and peered out cautiously onto
the street.
'WeH, d. Lord be praised If it amt dot OBJ
stroperous blamed idiot WObbles. Well-In
hx-himl"
The washer disappeared from where he
came lie coupled on fifty feet OF hose TO the
saloon hvdTant and arranged stepladdeF uear
the fractured maDhole. He mounted III, lad
der and held the nOse-noZZle near the opening
All was ready.
Mr. WObbles wanted to snk the enemy at
close quarters, tackled and bore down on the
opeQiDg under full steam, stopped. swung
about and squirting one eve took aim and
hred. The next instant he was struck fun In
The fAce by chilling stream and sent sprawl
Ing over back ward. In failing he cut his head,
and while he lay half stunned on the sidewalk
he was drenched win falling water that
dropped on him from The geyser in the side
walk.
Friends came to his assistance and bore him
away. nm
No, Mr.. Wobbles no longer spits, he swal-
lows his tobacco juice.