The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1894-03-27

OIUbI lIlChS WIFI EttSb anu NCAbC1ibJ"
All his little jokes and funniments, all
the antics of his Sprightly he
was called in the programme-wer
punctually gone through, and a very
fair show it was-for the colonies.
When he came to "This concludes the
first portion of the entertainment. There
will be an intermission of 10 minutes,
l could stand it no longer. The melan-
choly pianist was announced to sing a
comic song, which perhaps precipltated
my decision I asked him to tell Pro
fessor Beda that the audience would be
glad to speak to him for minute or
two. / went round.
81 am glad to see you, sir, +" said the
professor. "Pray be seated. May /
offer you a little whisky and water?
You are a gentleman of the press,
sir, understand.
Yes. L represented The Post and was
there to do his show.
81 thought, sir, l would give you
specimen of what can do, and if you'd
like it am quite prepared to go through
the whole entertainment. y
l explained that there was no occa-
sion for that, because l could write
about it quite as well without seeing it
perhaps better. If gentlemen Of
the press" were to confine themselves
to what they see, the business would
soon go to the dogs.
We had some whisky and water, and
the professor began to talk less formally.
"Well, sir, they told me down south
Alexander was one of the best pitches
in the profession. 1t doesn't look much
like it, Seems to me about the one
horsedest place ever | was in, except
Naipaw, and that ain t even a one DON
key place Not a soul in the house but
you, sir, and this here blessed show has
cost me out of pocket Go TO- Paid in
advance too. A couple o. pound for
the hall and the lights, a pound for the
pianner, couple O. pound for fixing up
the rope and 10 bob for money taker.
Think of that, sirl Amt it hard? Amt
it cruel? Ten bob for money takeri"
That did seem hard indeed, but ex-
planned that thought that shows usual
ly took especial care to have money
taker of their own for obvious reasons.
$50 they do, sir, and so do l. My wife
takes the money always always has
done ever since I took to the business
but my luck S dead out. She IS up at Brit
ten's-you know, sir, the hotel-in bed
with a smashed foot. Some clumsy fool
on the Star of the South as we were
coming here from the south let's great
packing case right on her foot and
smashes her. The doctor says she II be
a fortnight or better. Ten bob for
money takerl If it amt the cruelest
thing as ever I heart And then the
rainl Did anybody ever see it rain like
it? It's been a-coming down, down,
down like this for three blessed days.
Not a soul in the house. Ten bob for a
money takerI Help yourself, sir"
/ suggested that he might have better
luck the next night and corroborated
the opinion he had heard down south
that Alexander was an excellent place
as a rule for performances of all kinds.
"No, sir. The luck's out, and I'm
about broke. that's what l am, and
amt got the money. There's the hall,
they will have it in advance; there's the
pianner, they wants that in advance,
and there's the advertisements. not
line they'll give me till I've paid for to-
day IS ads, nor a line, not The Post, nor
The Independent, nor none of 'em. Ad-
vance New Zealand. That's their mot
to, is it? Pay in advance it ought to be.
Ten bob for a money taker''
Then a brilliant idea occurred to me.
The professor was stone broke. So
was l. l knew what the professor did
not apparently that these black nor
casters at Alexander never lasted more
than three days. In all probability the
next day would be bright and lovely,
cold and sunshiny. If So the sloppy
roads would in few hours be hard,
firm and dry, for the soil is limestone.
knew how prone the people of all con-
ditions were to shows. The money for
the hall and the 'pianner" could Dor
row from Clifford. The ads l could
manage with little persuasion, not UNI
mixed with cheek, and as to the money
taker I'd be my own, so that 10
bob and the modification attaching
thereto would be saved. Happy thought
I'd risk it.
Professor Beda, . said /, otherwise
Harry Becker he gave a start-"yes.
you were In my company of the Forest
rangers. I've grown beard since and
altered a good deal no doubt. Now,
professor, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll
pay for the hall and the pianner, and
the ads tomorrow. You do your enter
tainment. I'll take the money, and aft
or $40 we'll share the receipts. ("
81 should never have known you, sir,
with that beard The old Forest ran
gersl Do you remember Captain Ross
being shot alongside me and you, sir,
at Waiapu? How he did bleedi should
never have known you, sir. Well, sir,
I'll tell you what it is, it amt no risk
to me, and I'll do it. l can't be no
worse off than / am. How I'm to leave
the town and pay the hotel and doctor
and passage money on to Tauranga,
blessed if / know I'll do it, sir. Shake
hands on it. It's bargain. Me and
you divides after 10 pound. -
We cemented that arrangement with
another whisky, and away posted to
the office of The Post The venture
looked unpromising enough. The rain
was still sluicing down with purposeful
pertinacity. ! half repented Of my bar
gain. But the bond was as binding as
though it had been signed, sealed and
delivered and witnessed by all the at
torneys on the rolls So | sloshed my
way to the office of The Post knee deep
in mud and water. The ''old brute"
had not turned up and was, in fact, on
one of his bursts, as certain fits Of
temporary alteration are called in the
colony. l propounded the matter to
Clifford. He was more cautious than to
me appeared good. But | wooed him
with my golden tongue, not only out of
the harmless necessary flyer, but out of
letter to the other papers, guarantee
ing the money for the next days ads.
"How about the show?' said Clifford.
Magnificent You wait and see what
write about it when l return" And
away l went to The Independent and
The Herald, polished up the professors
ads, and as no report had been done at
either place | wrote as putting para
graph as Thought they would stand for
each paper and then hurried back to
The Post to concoct as flaming an ac-
count as l could contrive, and | think
may say that it was strong | may
even venture to 60 further and to say
that it was about as glowing as such
notices can be made. Repeated appli-
cations to Roget's Thesaurus were neces-
sary. Clifford, who was reading my
slips as finished them, objected once
or twice Come. say, this is too hot.
The old man'll have a fit. /" The old
man was the ''old brute"
"Well, from what you tell me, . re-
piled, he's likely to have one anyhow,
so it won I matter. +" Had the professor