The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1894-03-29
WIT AND HUM0R.

they get to 1t always pay hlgh TOLL
GatUeSt0n NeiCS.
There is often as much venom in the
point of a pen as there is in the big end
of club.-RDns'S Horn.
Some men try to carry the world on
their backs while somebody else is
carrying their families. - GdlUest0n
NeUS.
When a man comes to ask you for
your opinion, he really asks for your
confirmation of his own. - 14tchis0l
Globe.
Many may understand woman, but
it generally puzzles her horse 10 tell
what she is driving at.-Butato
Courier.
"Do you know much about that horse
you bought from the deacon?" II
know more about the deacon than
did. d."-Lye.
Our idea of Christian is man who
doesn't laugh when it rains on picnic
party to which he was not invited
AtchtS0n Globe.
People speak of a @cool million" of
dollars because it takes such warm
work to get that amount together.-
PHILADELPHIA Press.
rs your husband working on a
salary, Mrs. Brown?" "O,no the firm
gives him a stipend; heard him say
SO. ."-Detron Free Press.
Maybe the trees turn red because
losing their summer dresses they
haven't any more just now in their
trunks. Philadelphia Times.
Chicago's habit of making good its
boasts will tend to lessen the frequen-
cy of accusations against it of boast
ing Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
whats your congressman doing in
Washington" Hes a-drawin' of his
salary" Nothing else?" "Yes; he's
a-blowin' of it in."-AtIauta C9nstitu-
ton.
what lovely bachelor apartments
Browser has!-but they say he has
strange doings there" "Yes; l fancy
his room is better than his company"
-Puck.
She--What swell turnouts Maud's
new beau always has. He-Yes, have
just found out about them-he gets 50
day for exercising the horses
Detroit Tribune.
as this building freproof?" asked
the man with blue glasses and large
gripsack. "Not if you're book agent"
replied the janitor, conclusevely.-
Washington Star.
The Wife-Of course, l can make al
lowance for little heat OF temper. 1t
isn't every man that can be master of
himself. The Husband-No, if be has
a wife.-N. Y. Press.
May-Dear. do you see that stupid
fellow trying to tiirt with me? Joe
No; he is trying to fiirt me. May
Dear me! how much more stupid than
l thouGht.-Ihe CLUB.
Mamma-Harry,I want you to come
in now and amuse the baby. Harry
(aged 5)-Youll have to excuse me,
mother; I'm not in the low-comedy
line.-B0st0n Transcript.
Prison Missionary are you in
here for, friend? Convict (bitterly)-
Just for missing train. Nonsense.
No nonsense, sir. | missed train for
treal.-Br00klyn Life.
$50 you take him for better or
worse?" "Yes," replied the woman
who had married several times, "but
he can't be any worse than my last
husband. Washington Star.
Oratorcal eloquence is we'll enough,
but all the fine speeches in the world
can carry conviction with them no
more surely than the criminals simple
plea not guilty.--ButatO Courier.
Hioks-Education is a good thing.
Wicks-I believe you. Without educa-
ton it would be quite impossible to
BAN boozle the fellows who have no
education. Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Clinker-I understand, Mrs.
Vaulters, that your son is going up
rapidly in college. Mrs. Vaulters-
Yes, indeed. He's already broken the
high jump record.-CleUetand Pos''-
dealer.
He-Oh, but, vou know, man would
still be in paradise if it hadn't been for
woman. She-Possibly, but Im of the
opinion that he would have found some
way to get tempted anyhow.-Detro,t
Tribune.
He-With you | should be the most
contented of men. She-But how can
we live without an income? He-1ou
| forget that contentment is riches. She
And you forget that riches have
wings. Vogue.
Orator-Where else will you find ii
one spot such products as marble
iron, clay, chalk, copper, lead, slate
glucose, fruits of all kinds, hemp. flax
and all manner of grain? Man in th'
Audience = In my boys pocket
Wait.
A clothier excited public curiosity
by having large apple painted out
side his shop. When asked for an ex
PLANTATION he said: If it hadn't beeI
for an apple where would the ready
made clothing shops be todayP"-Lon
don It-BttS.
CITY Editor (to new reporter)-1o
omitted something very important i
your account of the bank failure. Re
| porter-What was that. sir? Cit
Ed:tor-You neglected TO say that th
depositors would receive dollar for do
lar Brooklyn Life.
Jiggers Justwed says hi
wife il IA very magnetic woman. ia!
Gers-You bet she is. He asked he
to allow him to 90 downtown with m
the other night and she showed bot
negative and positive qualities i
less'n half minute.-Bufaio Coarie
Deacon Pod berry = Brother Lusl
forth, why do you never do anythin
to control that wild desire for liqut
which possesses YOU so? Jaggs Lusl
forth-Wile dizzire. Wild nothin
Eats one of the most highly cultivate
desires in zis town."-Ladtanapol
Journal.
Mammal wonder what your pap
is stamping around about? Little be
i don't know. ! didn't 60 into b
room cause he acted cross. Mamma
Maybe he can't find his razor? Lift
boy-Yes, he can, cause | put
right back where he keeps it soon as