The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1894-11-24

conclusion ttian this--I am not eandi-
date pr 4 ~ peYJJaIia, bat IN rem, with
contingencies hereafter remarked. A
eoniinseneyis something II Is every
thing. Il is anything that wins. Il Is
nothing. Old Contingencies are like the
old exploded shells Of Roman candles.
ContlngeneieI are good 10 have In stock
ia politics. when made 70 order.
Another reason why / ain not q can
didate for senator. at this time. Subject
70 future revisenent) Is this: ] am
preparing a scientific work on the com.
atose condition Of the Democracy. which
will also explain the long discussed
question Of "who struck Billy Patter-
son." and where Billy Patterson was
STRICKEN" The work will require all
my time as must await the verdict Of
the professors OF the French Academy
of Science who are now investigating
the ponderons question OF why cat
fired out Of q window 1t thirteen stories
elevation will light on its feet, instead
OF its head or back, and with a graceful
flourish OF It's tail bound away TO make
demonstrations in furtheranee OF the
feline caste. The same distinguished
scientific emporium 10 also solving the
question OF which part oil the body goes
to sleep frst. One Magi contends the
feet lose CONSEQUENCES first, then the
eye, next the tenor drum OF the ear 10
unstrung and hearing takes snooze.
When these questions are settled We
will know just where the Democracy
was struck, the number OF volts re-
quired to do the Job and whether or not
the conclusion caused death or only
threw it into cataleptic state, So you
sec at glance It will be impossible for
me to spare the time to prove to the
legislature that all the other candi-
dates, matured and embryot!c, are
dished.faced and otherwise disreputable
and wholly depleted OF senatorial
requisites and that am the only man
for the position, outside OF the mem
bers of the legislature and only two
or three others in each OF the
fifty.four counties in the state. Before
the last Republican primary election,
held Noyem Der 6. A, D.. (which means
Anti.Democratic) 1894, and before the
typhoon struck Democracy there were
three candidates for the senate, viz:
Camden, Wilson aud Elkina. Camden
and Wilson wero lost in the squat. II
Elkins should die, or become discour-
aged or conclude the place wouldn't
suit him, would be willing to make
the domestic sacrifice in order to keep
up the party organization, with the
understanding could give it up when
some ono could be found who wanted it
worse than I did. But would want
an injunction laid, with steady and
firm fist on the recount in Lincoln,
Wayne and q few other nomadic pre-
cincts, before investing much bi-metal-
ism in the plant,
No, "Gone,"I won't run for senator
nor anything else. but will continue to
be at the "Ghost Dances" properly
succeed for the war path, In Eng
land they don't call 1t running" for
Office, but standing" for Office There
are not as many standing" for Office
nowas there were few days ago; many
are FRUSTRATED. hope our people
won't change 1t from running" to
Standing" for Office for I know a
great many who are getting too old to
stand for anything. They would have
made good ISLANDERS" when younger.
Yours ever,
CHARLES 7. CALDWELL.
P. s.-Excuse brevity, please.