davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
TO CALL AT THIS PORT.
A Rich Mans 100000 Trip
Around the World.

Norwich, Conn, March 25.-On
splendid yacht, costing $25O,O 900, Will
liam A. Slater, of this city, with his
family and a party OF friends, will
start In June on a world girdling
tip that will last two years and cost
S1,OOO,O00. The yacht, which will be
called Eleanor, will be of steel, 1850
tons burden, and is being built at
the Bath Iron Works. She is 23l
feet long, and will be fitted to sail
or steam.
The Eleanor will steam directly TO
Norway, spend the summer OF 1894
in the land of the midnight sum-
and afterward go to St. Petersburg.
A run through the Mediterranean
will follow, and then the yacht will
pass through the Suez Canal into
the Indian Ocean.
The ship may reach India during
the winter of 1915, but there will
be no hurry, and when the summer
OF 1895 rolls around, the Eleanor viii
| find herself about China or Japan
The winter Of 1856 will find hel
among the palms of the Pacific isl
ands. Thence she will go to tbs
Sandwich Islands, to San francisco
and return to New York by the wa.
of Cape Horn The ship will b'
heavily armed for 6 possible Ugh
with any savages it may encounte
| on its long voyage.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
WHARF AND WAVE.
Arrival Of the China with Late
Foreign Shipping News.

DIAMOND HEAD, April Is, 10
P. M.-Weather cloudy wind, fresh
northeast.
Pat" Hughes and Mate Gregory,
of the Iwalani raced for 100 yards
Yesterday and Hughes came out
victorious. Now comes Major
Eugene Lee, who says that he has
an unknown steamboat man IN
training who will run with any
BODY on the water front 70 or 100
wards, Pat Hughes preferred.
The R. NJ. S. S. China, Ward
commander, arrived from San
Francisco yesterday morning, She
was 5 DAYS and 10 hours coming
down. Her voyage was a pleasant
one. She brought but three pas,
sengers for this port. She resumed
her passage about 6 80 o'clock last
evening.
The coasting vessels leaving TO-
day are: The Iwalani, at 4 pm,
for Kauai; Ciaudiue, at pm, for
Maui; Mikahala, at D pm, for
Kauai; Kilauea Hou, at 4 pm,
for Hawaii w. G.. Hall, at 10 this
morning, for Hawaii, etc.
The c. D. Bryant and Irmgard
from Honolulu, and the Annie
! johnson from Hilo, arrived at San
/ Francisco on the 7th instant.
The r. 2. Rithet is moored a
| Brewers wharf. She down from
| San Francisco in II days. She
brought a very light cargo.
! The Robert Levers will leave 70
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
SAN FRANCISCO ITEMS.

ARRrvALs.-ApriI 9th, bkt. John
Worster, 20 days from Kahului !;
eth. S. S. Australia, Is days is hours
from Honolulu; Sth, bark G. d.
Bryant, 10 days from Honolulu !;
8th. bark Ennie Johnson, 10 days
from Hilo; Sth, bkt. Irmgard, 49,
days from Honolulu.
PROJECTED DEPARTUREs.-April
18th, bkt. Mary Winkelmann, bkt.
S. \. Castle, bark c. d. Bryant,
bkt. Irmgard, bark S. G. Allen, for
Honolulu; bk Annie Johnson, for
Hilo; schr. Olga, for Mahukona /;
18th, S. S. Australia, for Honolulu
May 3, S. S. Monowai, for Homo
lulu, etc. i; 10Th, S. S. Gaelic, for
Honolulu, etc. June 2Sth, S. s.
Belgic, for Honolulu, etc.
The San Francisco Call Of the
10th inst. says: News is brought
by the steamer Belgic from Hong
kong of the wreck of the British
barkentine Cape City twelve miles
from Dodd's Island in the North
China Ocean, while on her way
from Cheefoo TO Annoy. The news
was telegraphed from Shanghai
lust before the Belgic left Yoke
hama, and very few details were
given, except that the vessel is a
total loss and nearly half of hel
crew were drowned, including
Captain T. A. Rodney, well known
in San Francisco and New York.
The schooner Vine arrived al
San Francisco recently with forty
two natives of Samoa on board
They will be connected with the
Samoan Village at the Midwinte
Fair.
Captain James s. Higgins re
Gently died at San Francisco. h
was a well known ship owner and
was Il member Of the firm OF Hig
gins & Collins.
The schooner Bangor has beer
chartered at San Francisco to pro
ceed to Hilo for load of sugar.
The u. S. S. U. S. Grant arrived
at San Francisco on the 9TH inst.
124 days from New York.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
Four Alleged Monkey Words

Professor Garner, who has just ar
rived az New York from Africa, still
insists that monkeys talk.
Here are some words which are
selected from the monkey vOcabui
arv. IS Mr. Garner understan 1t:
w no G, meaning food, bananas
and tho ike.
Chuy, drink, water, milk
Chi, the sound used to attract at
tentiop, equivalent, to the Say OF
Look here" of everyday partance.
E L, the cry of alarm, meaning
danger" or similar word, express
sive OF warning.-Exchange.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
FOR SALE.
Residence on Judd Street !

The undersigned offers fo- sale, the
Residence o Il. f. Glade, Esq. on Judd
street.
The main round has frontage on
Judd street OF .i95 feet aud depth OF
about 81 feet
On this is situated the 2->tory Dwell
ing House. containing on the ground
fluor large irawing Room, lining Room,
Bath, Pau;ry aad Kitchen. The second
floor contains Bath Room, Hallway and
Enclosed Balcony. '.Ooms, NeTandas and
Railways tend t. MAXI shis one OF the
most comfortable House IN the City.
Adjacent 10 the residences Is magnl-
fcent esidence site.
The whole properly containing an area
-, = 66 100 acres.
For further particulars, apply 10
JAS. Z. MORGAN.
3663-6t
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
DIED.

KIBLING-In this city. April 16, 1894,
Phoebe A., wife of Captain KILLING, aged
90 years, a native of Groton, Connect
cut.
Groton and New London papersl please
copy.
The funeral will take place from the late
residence Fort street, at $3.50 O'Clock this
(Tuesday) afternoon. Friends and ac-
1uaintances are respectfully invited to at
tend.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
NG~SEL- IN s-EsE<T.
Tina list does not include ooaaters.J
NAVAL VESSELS.

u > + = Philadelphia, Barker, CailaU
HI J N Takachiho, Nomura. Yokohama.
HBM S Champion, Rookie, Esqumalt.
MERCAAETMEE.
Am ok r Rithet, Morrison, S +.
Am schr King Cyrus, Christensen, N'wc'e
Am Miss stmr Morning Star, Garland.
Ship Occidental, Morse, Comax, G.
Am schr Golden Shore, Bernholm, w
Schr Lyman ID Roster, Dreyer, n S w.
Blk Hesper. Sodergren, n w.
Am sch Robert Levers, san Francisco.
Blk Albert, Griffith. +.
Schr w + Whitman. Petersen, Newcastle.
Nor Blk Petrus. Andersen, Newcastle.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
,nPAE9t HY>.
MONDAY. Aprii

MONDAY. April 10.
n China. Ward. for Hongtong
and Yokohama
Schr Transit, Jorgensen. for San Fran
cisco.
Am sch 4 w Bartlett. Olsen, for Laysau
Island
Stmr kaala, Thompson, for kahuku.
Stmr Mokolii, McGregor, for Molokai and
Lanai
Stmr Lehua. Nye, for Molokai.
Stmr James Makee. Haglund. for
Kauai.
Stmr Waialeaie, Smythe. for Kauai.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
4: AsSENGERS.
ARRIVALS.

ARRIVALS.
From San Francisco, per z NJ China I,
April 16-Mr and Mrs & Il Wheeler and
Sydney Herbert.
DEPARTUEES.
For Yokohama and Hongkong, per z NJ
5 Chiua, pril 16-J Lazarus, G NestOr
Edison. DIR Il a Lundy, NJ Sega, Mr. and
Mrs Mcdonald. j ii Firth, and 295 in the
steerage.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
VESSELS LEAVING TODAY.

Sch Robert Levers for San Francisco.
Stnr Mikahala, CLANCY, for Kauai at p
III.
Stmr Iwalani. Freeman, for Kauai at 4
p IN.
Stmr Claudine, Cameron, for Maui at
p IN.
Stmr Kilauea Hou, Everett. for Hawaii
al p n.
Stmr w G Hall. Simerson, for Maui and
Hawaii at 10 N.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
Lawn Mowers

~LEANED, SHARPENED AND
u repaired duplicate pieces furnished !;
Lawn Movers broken beyond repair
bought al a i..ir price Axes, Knives and
Scissors ground Saws filed and set by
CT. w. HELLIKSEN,
At the Bell Tower,
Engine House No. 2.
2645-tf
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17

San Francisco today with about
1900 tons Of sugar.
The schooner Transit left for San
Francisco yesterday with a cargo
of sugar, valued 1T S51, 726.45.
The schooner Transit is at the
Kinau wharf taking in sugar.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17

Enu noon on the 10th t4h. Som. p m
Time Whistle blows OF III. ISM S4s. PIX OF
HonoIulu time, which Is the same as l2h Om. os'
of Greenwich time
For every 1000 feet of distance of the observer
tfrom the Custom House) allow one second LoI
transmission of sound, or seconds 10 statute
nile.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
EXPORTS.

For San Francisco, per schr Transit
10, 435 bags sugar. Brewer & Co; 5537 bags
sugar, T II Davies 81 Co; weighing 1876
57S pounds domestic value, SOL ,726.45.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
gpxFIGN MAIL SERVICE.
Gksss
49,. .ss.sEsssS

steamships will leave for and arrive ron
fan francisco, on the following CAFES, ia
The close of 1884
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
SHIPPING INTELLIGENCE.
EE<IVA3s
MONDAY. Al

MONDAY. Aprd Is.
+ M China, Ward, from san Fran
cisco, en- route To the Orient
bk l. L Rithet. Morrison from san Fran
cisco.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
BORN.

HARRISON--In this city, April 10, To the
wife of A. Harrison, a son.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
FRANCE AND COLONIES.

Paris-Alfred Houle. Charge d. Anaires
and Consul-General; A II Teyssier,
Vice-Consul
Marseiies-t5 din Cayla, Consul
Bordeaux-Ernesfd de y issac, Consul
Dion, HI Veilh1mnne, Consul
Libourne-Chailes Schaessler, Consul
Tahiti, Pape ete-A F Bonet, Consul
GERMANY.
Bremen-Joh Muller, Consul
Ham burg-Edward + Weber, Consul
Frankfoi ton Dlaine--Joseph Kopp, Con-
sui
observation-disclosures p Russ Consul
Karlsruhe--H Muller, Consul
AUSTRIA.
Vienna-Hugo on sehonbereer, Consul
SPAIN AND COLONIES.
Basceona--E Enrique Minguez, Consul
General
! Cadiz-James shaw, Consul
| Valencia Julio Solar, onsui
Nialaga--F Z De HHvarra, Consul: Z
! Gimenez s.avarra. ice Consul
| Cartegena--J Paries Consul
| Las PalInas, Gran Canaria-Lous Eal-
cony Queyedo Consul; Bravo de
Laguas, NIce-Consul
Santa Cruz-A @ de las Casas, Vice
Consul
Arecife ce Lanzarotte-E Morales
Rodriguez, Vice-Consul
PORTUGAL AID COLONIES.
Lisb5n-A Fereira de ssrpa. Consul
oporto-Narcfso T N Zero, Consul
! Madeira Rodrigues Consul
1t Michaels-A de : Moreira, Consu,
| st Vincent, Cape de Verde Islands
& Martins, Vice Consul
Lagcs-M J Barbosa Vice Consul
Rome-James Clinton Hooker, Consul
General
C;snoa-t.aphsel de Luchi, Consul
Palermo-Anzelo Tagliavia, Consul
NETHERLANDS.
Amsterdam-D II schmul. Consul
Dordrecht-P ] Bowman, Consul
BELGIUM.
Antwerp-Victor r orge. Consul-Geners!
| Ghent-E Coppieters, Consul
Liege-Juies Blanpain, Consul
Bruges-Emle Van den Brande, Consul
SWEDEN AND NORWAY.
Stockholm-C 4 Engai's, sctiBg Consul
| General
ChristianIa-l Samson, Consal
Lyskil II Be getro,n Vice Consul
Gothemb srg--Gua;&y kraGk Vice
Consul
| JAPAS.
| Tokic-His Excel enc. x WsiLer Irwin,
Minister kesidsnr
Hiogo and Osakl--t Hall. CouFul
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
EIGHT PAGES.

SUBSCRIPTIONS RATES:
TIE DAILY PACIFIC COMMERCIAL ADvER-
TIsER IS PAdss)-
Per month in advance ---.-..-.9 80
Per quarter advance. .-...' w
Per year in advance 60. W
Per year, postpaid to Onlted o:aIeS !, IN
Do ol . an,oi r.ost'aid Foreign. Il 90
HAWAIIAN GAZETTE, SEMI WEEKLY %
PAGEs-TUEsDAY AND FRIDATs)-
oa-,o4 numbers So 90
Per wear, postpaid Foreign. ...-. w
Payable Invariably IN Advance.
II. M. WHITNEY,
Business Manager.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
On or AboHt

Az. At HCNoLULU
Fn San T. 8ANCIsCO
oR Vancouver
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
The Planters Monthly.
CONTENTS FOR D1ARCHa
1894.

The Hawaiian Reciprocity Treaty.
Raising Cane from Seed.
-ugar Plantations oi Hawaii.
Facts concerning the Hawaiian Islands.
Oaange Culture (concludpd)
Stripping Cane III GuadeluOpe.
The Time for Planting and Crushing
Cane.
German Beet Sugar Returns.
Revolution In Sugar Mills.
Preparation of Cane for the Mill.
Notes on emerara Sugar Trade, 1898.
Sugar Consumption in the World.
Diseased -ugar Cane.
Subscription sos year.
Foreign Subscription So . year.
Bound Volumes. 30
Back Volumes bound to order.
Eg- Address
GAZETTE PUBLISHING CO.,
as Merchant ST.. III 1noulr
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
Diplomatic and Consular Repre-
sentsfives of Hawaii 1bFoad
n THE UNITED srArEs


United Siates-3is Xxx !. Thurston,
Envoy Extraordinary a.. Munster
Plenipotentia1y, Washington. q Z.
Secretary and Charge 81 afaiJes al in
'erim-k tassin4s
New York.. Allen. onsul-tseuera;
san FTanciscc-C s. Wilder C0usEi-
General foI toe iari6 Slater: Cali
iornia. Org and Nevad4 and
Washing tom 49,. .....- ! ~cpsr.
Consular Clerk
Observation-Disclosures 4 Davis. Consul
San Diego Cala-Jas Girvin, Gonzui
Boston-Gorham ID Gilman Consul
Portland Or NcCraken. 60 sRl
Port towussud, Wash-lame- =, swan.
Consul
Seattle Z Garter, Coisu,
Tacoma, Washington e".eher.
Acting Nice-Consui
MEXICO. CENTRAL AND SOUTH AMERICA.
u S OF Mexico, Mexico Col u J De
Gress, Consul. Is Ii Baker, Vice
Consul
Manzanillo- Robert James Barney Co..
sui.
Guatemala Henry Tolke, Consul
Peru, Lima-e 5 Crosby, Acting Consul
Callao. Peru-S Crosby, Consul
Chile. Valparaiso, ID Thomas, Charre d
flares and Consui-Geuerxl
Mon Tideo, Uruguay Conrad Hughes.
.,nsui
Philippine Islands, Iloilo- George Shell
Tnerdine, Consul
Manila-Jasper NJ Wood Consul
Cebu- George + a Cadell Consul
GREAT BRITAIN
London .... Charge d Afiaires
Secretary of Legation, Marley Hop
kins, Consul General
Liverpool-Havold Janion, Consul
Bristol-Mark WhitWe ell. Consul
Hull--W Moran, Consul
Newcastle on TYne-E Chesterfield,
Consul
Falmouth-C E Broad, Consul =
Dover (and the Cirque Ports Francis
William Prescott, Consul
Cardiff Goldberg, g 1nsul
| Swansea-H Boyey. Vice Consul
! Edinburgh and Leith-E u buchanan,
| Consul
Glasgow-Jas Dunn, Consul
! Dundee q Cooler, Consul
DubliD-R JAS Murphy, Nice-Consul
! Queenstown-Geo 3 Dawson, Consul
Beliast-W a Ross, Consul
BRITISH COLONIES.
Toronto, Ontario JE Thompson, Consul
! General; Geo A Shaw, Vice-Consu
Montreal-Dickson Anderson. Consul
Kingston, Untario-Geo Richardson,
Vice-Coneui
Rimouski, Quebec \ Pouliot Q G.,
Vice-Cousul
/ st Johns. \ B-Allan o Crookshank,
/ Consul
Yarmouth. n SD F Clements, Vice
Consul
Victoria, B C-R P Rithet, Consul
Vancouver, B &c M Beattie, Consul
| Sydney, N S Wv f Dixon, Acting
Consul
Melbourne, Victoria-G N Oakley, Consul
Brisbane, Observation-Disclosures Webster
Consul
Hobart, Tasmania-Captain Hon Audley
Coot., Consul
Launceston- Geo Collins, Vice-Censul
Newcastle, n : Wv II Moulton,
Consul
Auckland, n I'd B Cruikshank, Consul
Dunedin, n Z-Henry Driver, Consul
Hongkong, China-Hon J tombstone
Keswick, Acting Consul General
Shanghai, China-Hon j tombstone
Keswick
FRANCE AND COLONIES
Paris-Alfred Houle, Charge d. Affaires
and Consul (Ieneral: A \ II TeVsAier
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17

- .oy sRTIsE1 CALENDAR.
April, 1894.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17
Official List Of Members and LOoa.
tion Of Bureaus.
8xEcurlvz Couxon.

s. b. Dole, Presiden; a. the Provisional
tfovernm-G, 81 the Hawaiian Isl.
ancs
f II Hatch, Minister 81 Foreign Al
fairs
J. 4 King, Minister of the interior
5. N Damon, Niniste III Finance
W. y. Smith, Attorney. General
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1894-04-17

Barometer corrected for temperature aud ele-
vation but not for latitude.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-06-17
|SCHUNEMAN AND EVAN;
BEARING THE OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES

This house has stood Progressive Merchandising
Low Prices HighClass Dry Goods and SmaProft Prices
is the watchword of Schuneman Evans. The high
OF public estimation has been gained by through Honest
Methods The rapid and continued increase business
shows policy. Facts speak,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-06-17
REPAIRING FOR ALL TIME.

$50 you agree to put In er new main
spring an guarantee to keep the watch
in repair for two years, for two dollars,
do YEP" he asked as he laid brass
watch with cloth chain attached upon
the jewelers. counter.
I'VE DO. sir"
"Wall. fix 'er up then"
He called for it in two or three days,
left his 50 and departed.
The next day he came in again.
"Busted ag'in," he said.
"Well, we'll fix it," said the jeweler.
In two days after the watch was again
repaired he called once more.
Its hurt some more" he said.
"A!l right" said the jeweler, "leave
it and l will see to it,"
In less than week after it was re-
paired he called again.
Busted po0ty bad this time" he
said.
Leave it again." said the jeweler. :
A few days after it was repaired he
came in with the single word:
.Busted.'
why, how does your watch get out
of order so often?" asked the jeweler.
~ bust it myself.
Burst it yourself? What do you
mean?'
Take hammer to it,"
You don't mean to say you take a
hammer and pound it?''
Yes. that's jest what do. want
that watch to last me my life. You said
you'd keep it i'll repair for two years, for
50. l bust it SO l can git it repaired
enough in these two years to last all
the rest of my life."
A very deep and shrewd expression
came into his eyes as he said this, and
the jeweler sank down behind his show
case, and sat there like man born
dumb.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-06-17

only kind words to speak of them
Really. 1t Is comfort to have belonged to
regiment whose conduct during that
period OF hatred, passion and vengeance
left constantly In its track through the
enemy'S country reputation for kind
ness and merciful behavior.
The capture OF Berryville" is one of
the cherished traditions of the First
Minnesota regiment. Gettysburg, Bull
Run. Edwards Ferry, Yorktown. the
Seven Days, Antietam, and all the rest
OF the long and splendid list of mixed
victory and defeat left burdens of death
and sorrow to be borne. Every where,
save at Berryville, some comrades COM
rade was stricken. and passed from
youth and health and strength and hap
plneSS into the silence of eternity. AT
Berryvllle we harmed no one, and no
one offered to harm US. Therefore,
THE capture of Berryvllle" was noted
in song and story Of the camp and BIZ
vouac as the one bloodless and hurtless
victory in which the old First partici-
rated during the war from Bull Run to
AppOmattoX.
The Valley of Virginia, redolent of
traditions of Lord Fairfax and his ia
Vorlte young surveyor, George Wash.
lngton, blossoms today as never before
in its history. The war scars are Oh
liberated. or at least are grass-grown
and productive. The region over which
Phil Sher;dan's crow might mot fly
without carrying its rations" is now
one royal garden spot of plenty. peace
and rural prosperity. War issues are
dead, and race prejudice here is less
pronounced than in any portion of the
South it has ever been my fortune to
visit. But the baronial opulence and
reckless prodigality (misnamed hospi-
tality) OF the Old Virginia period are
dead and buried forever. After the
genuine and approved Yankee fashion.
the stranger in Virginia now pays for
what he gets, and must look as sharp
here as in Maine or Connecticut if he
would be certain to get what he pays
for. And this, too, is the just and right
eous plan. Life everywhere is merely
an exchange of reciprocal advantages;
and there is neither reason nor religion
in giving recklessly to supply Injuries
to those who will not or cannot return a
quid pro quo. FRANK j. MEAD.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-06-17
NUFCED.

Did you ever talk with Nufced,
Nufced the perfect man?
Omniscience is his normal state.
And he is great, and knows he's great
Beyond all parley or debate,
Does Nufced.
For Nufced knows where he is at
And Tugs all wisdom in his hat
Did you ever hear him settle
The problems of all time?
Themes Plato grappled with in vain,
mat made old Aristotle strain
And wear The coating Off his brain
Please Nutced;
He settles them forever
Twixt half past three and half past four.
Did you ever hear him settle
The unknowabie, and then,
Without tremor or a STRAIN, 80
The unexplainable explain
And the unknowable make plain?
Great Nufcedl
For tits province all his own
oknow the things that can't be known.
Did you know within his brain-pan
Six thousand years of lore
Is packed away behind mis- eyes
Where all true wIsdoms focalize
Enough to make all nations wise?
-. Great Nufced.
And round the earth he spreads it thick.
Like mortar spread upon brick.
And,where doth live this Nufced,
This wisdom reservoir?
Oh. Nufced is numerous brood, ~
Aud, believe, you'll find him strewn
In almost every neighborhood.
Great Nufced
This wondrous breed is never dead,
AND II lives everywhere. 'Nough said.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1894-06-17
LIKE HIS MOTHER USED TO
MAKE,

beautiful scenery here. is 1t noto'
asked the young man to solitary trav-
eler whom he found pacing along the
Seashore.
"Well. no." replied the stranger. II
can't agree with you. l think the ocean
is too small. 1t is no such ocean as nv
mother used to have"
Your mothers ocean was superior.
then?"
"Oh. yes, vastly superior. What
tumbling breakers! what magnificent
sweep of view! what amplitudes of dis
lance! what fishing there was in my
mothers ocean,"
''But the sky IS magnificent here.is IL
not. sir?"
TOO low. and too narrow across the
top" replied the stranger.
II hadn't noticed" said the Young
man.
Yes" said the stranger, ut is too
low. and there isn't enough in Il. Be.
sldes,it doesn't sit plumb over the earth.
it is wider from north to south than it
Is from west to east. call it a pretty
poor Sky. II is no such sky as my mother
used to have"
pardon me. but did your mother
have a special sky and ocean of her
own?"
Right here an old resident came up
and drew the young man aside.
Don't talk with him." said the old
resident. HE is hopeless lun attic.
He is man who always used TO tell his
wife about the biscuits my mother used
to make my mothers pies.' my
mothers puddings,' and my mothers
doughnuts.' The habit grew on him SO
much that he became confirmed
lunatic. aud now he does nothing but
compare everything he sees with the
saILe things his mother used to have.''
This tale was told the author by the
young NAH himself who talked with the,
lunatic. and he deems it his duty to
publish it. as an awful warning to ali.
married men. =