Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-07-27

to the world at large, than the man wht
busies himself with writing long articles
as to the exact reason the corn crop is {
partial failure.
I suppose the old saying concerning
riches may be applied with equal force
to misfortune, and that some men are
born unfortunate, some achieve mis-
fortune, and some have misfortune
thrust upon them. The feet that Sam
Corbett Of Argusville was "rolled" in
Moorhead' by thugs, to the extent Of s7s
and a gold watch, reminds me that the
same Samuel was unfortunate upon bis
last trip away from home out in this di.
r%ection, and came down from the head
OF the first fight Of stairs in the Sheri.
dan one evening in the last legislative
session, by airline, touching nothing in
his passage from the head OF the STAIRS
to the floor, other than the circum-
ambient atmosphere, and striking the
floor with great force and his head, the
violence of the shock rendering his es.
cape q narrow one.
l have a feeting suggestion to make
to the city authorities, altogether gratui-
tous, and which they may adopt or re-
ject, as they see fit. It is that the next
Migrants or other offenders who are ar
rested for violation Of the city's ordi-
nances, be not discharged upon their
promise to leave town, but be provided
with hammers, to tho end that the pro-
truding spikes in all Of the walks about
town be driven down. The operation OF
the scheme would be an inexpensive
one, involving merely the subsistence of
the offenders. Its moral effect would
be beneficial, both to the offenders and
to the community, for the present condi-
ton OF the walks is having a demoralizing
effect upon the toes and tempers of citi-
zens. The plan I have suggested will
no doubt be opposed by the shoe men,
whose prospects of plutocratic wealth
are excellent-if the present state Of af-
fairs is allowed to continue.
Charles William Mowbray, an English
man, whose personal possessions consist
OF a head full Of large, loose-jointed fly
wheels, and an intense and avowed de-
sire to teach anarchy to the people of
the nation, has slipped thorough quaran-
tine at New York, and is now at Most's
headquarters. After proving to the
satisfaction of Herr Most that he
had not washed since he become i'm
bued with the desire to teach anarchy,
Mowbray gave the grip of the knights
of the Bomb, combed the birthstone
from his long and tangled locks with a
garden rake, and promulgated a procla-
nation that he was a propagation of an
archy, and was here for that purpose.
From the bombastic style of his proclama-
ton, l am inclined to think the greater
part Of the danger liable from Mowbray
is that his head may explode in the
midst of some large gathering at a
future time, with a result of great
carnage and slaughter among the by
! ISLANDERS.
The North Dakota Independent this
week, in a burning, double loaded ed
itorial labeled "Infamous Tactlos," fair
~ blisters itself in a vitriolic v%ilification
of the press of this and other states, be-
cause they have mentioned and made
comment Of the attitude of some of the
populists, in matters involving the ques-
ton Of law and order. The Independ-
ent ls decidedly foolish to work itself in
to a severe sweat this hot weather, in
it's frantic excavations of what it chooses
to term the "monopolistic press" It
designates the statement Of the arrest of
T. G. Kennedy, who is a candidate for
railroad commissioner on the populist
ticket, and the reported remarks Of
General Standish in Mandan, as "infan-
Gus les" conccoted to harm the popu-
lists. The Independent should feed the
assortment of managerial mo~nstrosities
and oil the whirring wheels which cavort
about IN it's excited imagination, and
calm itself. It is wasting a valuable
quantity of physical energy which may
be turned to good account this fall, in
digging a political grave for itself.
I see that Eugene V. Debs has been
nominated for the presidency by 1900
enthusiastic persons in Chicago. I sup
pose the choice of a senate and house
will be left to Mr.. Debs, as soon as he
is relieved of his temporary entangle-
ment with the present government.
After MI. Debs gets all the wheels OF
government to moving properly under
his jurisdiction, he will do q little re-
modelling Of the government buildings
at Washington, put the A. r. U. in as
disbursing agent at the minis, and the
general managers will be dangled from
the dome Of the capitol building. Presi-
dent Cleveland will be exiled to Siberia,
i on1 Ted no G.1onn,.-#-s1l et---s- ILWtfl = 15LS