The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1894-06-16
Original artirles.
EPITAPHS.
Quaint. Rare and Curious.
For the Advocate.

For the Advocate.
A carefully prepared history of epitaphs
from their earliest use until the present
time would prove to be work of great
interest and value to those who are inter
ested in the rare and curious.
"Here lies an epitaph" did not become
an aphorism with more truth than poetry
in it. until long after the period when our
ancestors of ancient Britain, fearless of
wrong, reposed their rugged limbs in what
ever place their last rest found them.
The epitaph was known to the classical
nations Of antiquity, and brief commem-
Grafton of the noble and heroic actions or
personal virtues of their illustrious dead
was regarded as one of the worthiest occu-
pations of the faculties of the living
Nearly every poet from Chaucer to the
present time has perpetrated epitaphs to
the dead. Pettigrew, Herodotus, Maitland
and others have given us the heroic, his
toric, religious and sentimental strata of
this specie of poetic composition, leaving
unwritten an important part, comic and
absurd, a few specimens of which we will
proceed to give, without claiming for them
either originality or novelty.
1t appears as if the English speaking
nations found it almost an impossibility to
confne their railery to the living, and ac-
cordingly we find the harmless peculiarities
Of the dead have often been chiseled upon
the tombstone with felicity which has
rendered immortal what otherwise the next
generation might have forgotten. The
following well-known epitaph of DIR. Ben
jamin Franklin, written by himself, will
bear repetition here for its humor and
quaintness
The Body of
Benjamin Franklin,
Printer,
like the cover of an old book,
Its contents torn out,
And stript of its lettering and guilding)
Lies here, food for worms;
But the work shall not be lost,
For it will Gas he believes appear once more
In new and elegant edition,
Revised and corrected by
THE AUTHOR
That on the tomb of William Shakes
peare, at Stratford-upon-Avon, is a pecu-
liarity within itself, in the abbreviation of
the word that, and the grouping together
of some of the letters after the fashion of
a monogram. We give it in the original
spelling
Good friend, for Jesus sake forbear
To digg the dust enclosed heare;
Bleste be ye man ty (thaD spares these
stones,
And curst be he ty (that) moves my bones.
In churchyard in Cheltenham, Eng
land, may be seen the following:
Here lies and my three daughters,
Killed by the drinking of the Cheltenham
waters.
If we had stuck to EPSON salts
We'd not be lying in these here vaults.
"Sir," said the famous DR.. johnson, at
is shame to speak i'll of a man behind
his back, but think the gentleman who
has just left the room is an attorney" A
similar sentiment as pertaining to lawyers
of doubtful reputation is found on a
gravestone in Suapphan, Norfolk, Eng
land:
Here lies one, believe it if you can,
Who, though an attorney, was an honest
man.
The gates of heaven shall open wide,
But will shut against all the tribe beside.
Some years ago an inhabitant of Wool
wich, England, died, leaving testamentary
order that his tomb should be inscribed
with the well-known lines
Youthful reader, passing by,
As you are now so once was l.
As am now, so you must be,
Therefore prepare to follow me.
The widow of the deceased, who did not
honor her lord more than the ordinary run
of wives, obeyed her late husbands injunc-
tions, but added postscript of her own
composition as follows:
To follow you I am not content
Until | know which way you went
The gravestoue with these inscriptions
was to be seen for considerable period,
but after much persuasion the rector of
the church prevailed upon the widow to
let him have the fippant lines removed.
The following quaint inscription on a
noted beer drinker could be seen in the
churchyard in the city of Durham, Eng
land:
Beneath these stones repose the bones
OF Theodosius Grimm;
He took his beer from year to year,
And then his bier took him.
An eccentric old man in Hougston-le-
Spring, England, ordered the following
inscription to be placed on his tombstone :
Here lies the body Of W. W.,
Who nevermore will trouble you, tronble
you.
The following is from churchyard in
Sutton England:
Here lies the body Of
Charles Keetley,
Who departed this life Nov. 18th, 1857,
Aged 63 years.
Here lies Mr.. G. Keetley,
Now done for completely;
But before he got into this hole
He made bad puns so neatly,
And good jokes so sweetly,
He was reckoned uncommonly droll
We don't know if it's right,
But they say the last night
He was driving along with his fun,
And the very last word
That ever was heard
Was certainly meant for pm.
Now DER his grave
His friends may rave
And grieve till all of them choke;
But it will be very queer
IF his ghost don't appear
At twelve every night for joke.
Here is one Of more sensible and trust
ing nature. It is on pr. John Condor,
of Cambridgeshire, England:
have sinned.