davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
An objection Practitioner.

They tell good story about a
judge who is well known in Buffalo,
says the Express of that city. Some
time ago Il man. who Is 'shyster"
lawyer, came before him to make a
motion. This man lived in one OF
the suburban towns, and he was rot
partic cularly scrupulous as regards his
personal appearance. He waited un-
til he had an opportunity to address
the Judge, and then made his motion.
1t was merely perfunctory sort OF
montion, to en- up case or some
thing OF the kind, and not one in a
thousand is refused by any Judge.
Everybody in the courtroom was,
therefore, greatly SUR rised when the
Judge thundered out "Denied."
The man himself was completely
taken aback. He rose to his feet and
sLammered and suffered, and finally
said: 81 our Honor. l hope you have
not mistaken the i'm oft OF this mo-
tion. fal TO see on what ground
you have based your decision"
Denied" rOared the yudge again.
"But. eyour Honor," the lawyer
went on, II tnlnk YOU must De LABOR
ing under misal prehension. This
is OF no Importance There isn't Il
soul on earth who isn't willing that
the motion should be granted"
tits denied, i tell YOU" said the
judge again.
"Will your honor kindly state the
grounds on which the denial is
made:"
The Judge Strengthened up in his
chair. took of his eyeglasses and
looked severely at the lawyer He
extended his hand and pointed one OF
his long fingers at him. The motion
il denied for two reasons" he said,
impressiyely. First, you are not a
regular memb,r OF the bar, ana not
entitled TO practice in court Of
record; second, you need bath"
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
The Man Who Tired Carlyle.

There is n story OF Carlyle in his
old age having taken the following
farewell, in his uroadest Scotch, of a
young friend who had had him in
charge for walks and who, while al
most always adapting himself to
Carlyle's mood, had on single oc.
casion ventured to disagree with him,
II would have you to know, young
man. that you have the capacity OF
lie nc the greatest bore in Christen-
dom" The boredom had consisted
solely in the rather negative sin OF
not having been convinced OF the
truth of one of Carlyle's dogmas, a
sin all the more heinous, because, iu-
stead OF standing boldly up TO CARLYLE,
and declaring his doctrine utterly
perverse. the companion had betrayed
his weakness by an apologetic tone.
Now, Carlyle liked disciples, and he
respectedantagonistS, but he could not
endure being merely thwarted with
out being thoroughly reused. He
felt in that case that he had made no
impression at all on h,s interlocutor,
that he had neither won him nor ex.
cited him To resistance. And moth.
inc bored him so much as :hat OF
course it is only exceptionally des-
potc minds that are bored in this
way The Spectator.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

THE Chicago Times is attracting
considerable attention by fierce as
sault on the method OF assessment OF
real estate for taxation, showing, by
facts drawn from the public records
that while the homes and places OF
business OF the small shoo keepers
and other small owners OF Chicago real
estate are assessed at from oDe-quar-
ter to one-third OF their market
value the great business blocks,
owned by wealthy men or powerful
syndicates are assessed at only TO
l. per cent, OF their market value,
the rate o! taxation being the same
In all cases And this is true al
though the law OF Illinois expressly
commands that all such property
shall be assessed at its cash market
value. 1t is probable that a similar
state of things exists throughout the
country, affordng another striking
illustration OF the strange fact that
law not sustained by public opinion
is practically "A dead letter" An
other fact ii illustrates is the extent
TO which the public conscience is
demoralized. The argument ought
To be carried To the end If people are
TO he taught by IT. The amount to
be raised by taxation remains the
same no matter what the assessment,
SO IL the latter is raised the rate OF
taxation will be lowered. and the ul.
innate difference might not he so
great To each individual taxpayer as
one would at first expect, vet the in
equality under such a system as this
is sufficiently marked 10 startle any.
one. 1t presents, too. a nut for the
single-tax men. Ii il is impossi BILE
te prevent inequality like this when
real estate has only part OF the bur.
den To bear, how can IL be prevented
when IL has the whole OF the burden?
What we need is not so much more
laws or changed laws as equable, i'm.
partial administration OF the laws we
have. Ii the assessors so grossly vlo.
late the laws that now are, what as.
surance can the people have that they
would letter obey any other law?
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

THAT highly interesting discovery
In optics which young ChIcagoan
claims 10 have made-that by an ef-
fective mbination OF small lenses
he can secure the same rower in a
telescope that is now attained only
by the use OF one great lense. The
construction OF a thirty. y.six-inch lens,
such as Is in use at the Lick observa-
tory, or OF forty-inch lens, such as
the Clarks are making at Cambridge
for the Yerkes telescope, is one of the
most din cult feats Of mechanical
skill. 1t consumes years and costs
tens OF thousands. This young in
ventor pretends that he can make an
equally effective glass in six months
for less. than one-tenth OF the cost.
He has taken his idea from The eye
OF the common house fly, which, as
everybody knows, is a multiplicity Of
small lenses More power To the in.
ven.Or. The earth is the Lords, as
the heavens are, and we cannot
know too much about either An
invention that draws the skies down
nearer TO earth is victory OF peace, no
less renowned than that OF war.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

Science sometimes comes TO the aid
OF history in fixing the dates OF re-
mote events in very remarkable
manner. Astronomy has been par.
ticularly helpful in this way When
ever an eclipse. or some other remark
able phenomenon in the heavens, has
occurred simultaneously with great
battle, for instance, the date of the
latter can usually be determined by
cal culating backward the motions OF
the celestial bodies, and ascertaining
when they must have been in the po.
sition they are described as having
occupied at the time the battle was
fought.
But astronomy Is not alone in thus
furnishing assistance To historians
Recently the science of conchOlogv
has apparently opened up a glimpse
into the ancient history Of our race
that far transcends in antiquity any
human records
Among the ornaments discovered
with the human skeletons recently
unearthed in the caverns near Men
tone are several species OF shells
which had evidently been brought
from the shores Of the Atlantic. as
they do not occur in the Mediter-
ranean Sea.
Here, then, is an indication that
before the beginning OF authentic
story men journeyed long distances
in Europe, and carried shells for bar
ter or exchange. But this is not all.
Among the ornaments found with
human skeletons In other caves on
the Ligurian coast and apparently
belonging to somewhat later race
OF men, or TO the same race in a later
stage Of development, are shells which
concholOgists say must have come
from the Indian Ocean.
When we remember the dangers
and difficulties that in far later and
more advanced periods OF human his
tory have attended those VINO under
took to pass between the eastern and
western halves OF the Old World, we
cannot but be astonished at this indi-
cation OF line Of travel or Of trade
extending from As a TO Europe in the
days Of pr mltive man.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
Southwestern North Carolina shelter

Southwestern North Carolina shelters
the most important and prosperous
band of Indians in the East They are
Cherokees, and the band is an incor-
porated company. Their whole mum.
ber is little over 1900, and they in
habit beautiful mountain region.
Although they retain their aboriginal
features and the strong frames of their
savage ancestors, they dress in the
garments of civilization and follow the
pursuits of white men. The principal
chief is distinguished looking man /;
he has three sweet-looking daughters,
two of whom would be noticesbly
pretty girls i'll any community. Old
fashioned spinning wheels are still
used in the cabins of these Indians.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

paign caricaturlst while KcppIers
talent covered every variety OF sub
ject, and as craftsman he was far
superior TO Mast. He leaves a son
who, it is said, will succeed to the
management OF Puck, but 1t is doubt
lul whether he possesses his fathers
artistic talent Mr.. Kepp!er had
keen sense Of humOr. but the most
conspicuous phase OF his genius was
the incisiveness and directness OF his
cartoons. 1t will be exceeding diff
cult TO fiji his place
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
Ripe and Unripe Bananas.

Whether for shipment or for home
consumption the fruit is cut as soon
as it is rull'--that is. when it has
reached its adult form ands~~ze, but
is still quite green. The plant is cut
off by a single blow Of machette
welded by powerful arm. As it
falls, the bunch is caught, Topped off,
and laid aside, while the harvester
goes on to the next bunch. 1t is a
popular suppositon that bananas
ripened on the tree are iffcomparably
superior TO those cut green. But. as
a matter Of fact, writes James f
Humprey in the Popular Science
Monthly. one never eats them thus
ripened in jamaica. They are said
to be not so good; at all events, one
finds no better fruit in texture or
flavor than the best OF our own mar
kets. But every lover OF this fruit
knows that its quality varies extra
ordinarily as it is offered to us.
This is due partly to the different
sources from which it comes. The
best that is brought to us comes from
Jamaica 1t is also due still more to
the condition OF the fruit when cut
Bananas which are perfectly full will
ripen mellow and delicious; but those
cut when immature, as too many are,
will turn yellow, yet never truly
ripen, retaining always their hard
texture and unripe taste. In ia
maica. as elsewhere, the com petition
OF buyers leads the unscrupulous ones
to accept fruit OF any sort, even when
totally unfit; and this sort Of compe-
tition makes all the more unavailing
the efforts OF honest buyers to raise
the standard and to teach the peo-
pie to withhold their fruit until it is
properly developed.
Americans can give moral support
to these efforts by accepting only such
fruit as Is mature at any price. A
little pains will soon enable one to
distinguish good from poor fruit,
though it is difficult to give gen.
eral statement of the distinctive diff
ferences. but. as rule, it will be
found that bananas which are the
largest, deepest yellow, and least
angular are the most mature and
hest
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
Several wealthy New Yorkers ha

Several wealthy New Workers have
spent n great deal of money in the inn
provement of Jekyll Island, off the
coast of Georgia, and now it is one of
the finest winter retreats in the
country. George Bleistein, publisher
of the Buffalo Courier, describes il as
follows: Mature did much TO make
Jekyll thing of beauty, and man and
money have made itaioy forever. We
have the grandest beach on the South,
:. shores, as good as that of Calves
n, eleven miles long, from 800 to 600
ut wide, its hard, white sands washed
r,..ce per diem by old oceans waves
that sing an eternal lullaby. On the
island we have sport fit for kings--the
red deer, the wild turkey, the wild
boar furnishing excitement for our
Nimrods, while the waters abound in
drum. sheephead, and bass. Our club
house cost 500, 900, and there are eigh,
cottages that cost from $4,000 to $780,.
900. We have built forty miles o.
beautiful shell roadway, and there ar,
bride paths all over the island. Th
climate is semi-tropic and in winte
more perfect than that of California.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

For over two years the Asiatic
cholera has been epidemic in West
ern Russia, but, as we have had re-
ports of the subsidence OF its ravages
during the winter months, there was
hope that there might not be a re-
currence this spring OF the unhappy
experiences OF that season in 1892
and 1893. We regret that the dis
patches at hand are unfavorable
There have been violent outbreaks
OF the disease during the last week at
number OF the populous centers of
the western provinces; one OF the
most violent OF them as far west as
the city Of Warsaw, and from that
place both Germany and Austria are
again directly menaced There is
reason, therefore, TO fear that we will
have TO be on the guard for yet an
other year, and that there will be
need for the utmost vigilance on the
part of the officers OF our quarantine
service.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
rwo HORSES HARD TO BEAT.
IL They Pull Together Nothing Can Pass
Them.

Them.
In a healthful little letter to the
Herald and Presbyter, Rev. DIR.
Thomas Parry, OF Frankfort, Ind,
breaches the following simple, every.
day sermon: Prayerful and watchful
hitched together are the only safe
draft power TO bring To prosperous
issue your train Of daily events The
man who had prayed that he might
not be cheated il buying horse,
bought the first horse that came
along. He was deceived beyond
measure. He had committed the
watching to God instead OF joining
1t to his prayer. A friend asked hiu1
il he expected God to come TO market
riding horse especially for him.
You cannot trust your prayer when
you drive it single.
Here is business man. He is a
Christian. He is also intensely active,
strong and ambitious. With all, he
has a temper which ignites with
rather slight percussion. In the
morning this man prays that he may
fulfill the law of Christ during ths
day. At the family altar he pleads
with words that are full OF genuine
pathos. His thoughts are gathered
into focus Of intensified earnest
ness. His voice is plalntive and
humble. His manner proves him to
be man who has business with God.
He has in hi ; mind the crochety peo-
PIE he has 10 meet, the knotty ques-
tiOns he has to settle, and his own
small stock Of patience.
The prayer is finished, and he as
sumes tie work Of the day. But the
book keepers and clerks lack the rigid
discipline desired and are less atten-
tive than they ought TO be. Men
come to him with sharpened tongues,
and there begins Misunderstanding.
He is Iasped. and he storms as If he
were a second edition OF Queen Eliz-
abeth. He has forgotten his prayer
and mellow voice Of the morning.
He comes home severely wounded.
He has dsgraced himself. Next
morning he prays again that he may
bear and forbear, but the next day
is as the frst-passiOn on fire.
Now, the fault was not in the
prayer, or in Gods promise to keep
him in perfect peace. His fault may
be, as we have been told- that he
trusted in his prayer, and relied upon
it and did not trust God. But 1
think the fault was in this, that he
thought the PRAYER relieved him from
the responsibility OF watching or
self-training. He did not join watch
full with prayerfuL His kindly dis
position ought always to drive double
watch and pray. Prayer helps
man to yoke bimself with the law OF
charity; to work under it and train
under it, Prayer does not relieve
the responsibility Of watching.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

The New York Tribune, in comment
ing on the recent aggravated case of
crime mt Corlsl University, asserts
that college ruilianism is dying out,
and thata better feeling prevails among
college students generally now than i'll
former days. "We hope that it is so, +"
remarks the New York Witness. "and
that the college faculties will pluck up
courage enough to make and to en-
force righteous laws without regard to
consequence.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

The Congress of Norwegian Physi-
clans, which recently met at Chris
tiania, instead of hiring n hall held its
sessions on a large steamer which
moved from place to place, so that they
had fresh air and change Of scene
while they were holding their delibera-
tions. Thus, comments the New York
Independent, they were hygienic as
well rs scientific, and possibly less de-
pleted in pursesthan if lodged in hotels.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

If Yankee ingenuity can devise
some legal provision by which Ameri-
can girls can marry "a foreign title
without taking the man who goes
with it, the recruits to the ranks OF
our native aristocracy will increase in
geometrical progression from the
time OF its adoption until the titles
are exhausted or the spirit OF Ameri-
can manhood has kicked the whole
thing over.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

A SAN DIEGO, CAL, man, OF an
experimental turn OF mind, divorced
one wife and tried another. His
second choice did not suit him, and
he divorced her, for the purpose OF
testing third. Unfortunately for
his experiment, he met wife No l.,
and remarked her, and now No > is
seeking TO add to his stock OF expert
erce by suing him for everything he
has on earth but his twice married
wifn
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

BY the death of Joseph Keppler,
editor and part proprietor OF Puck,
this country has lost its most famous
caricaturist Mr.. keppler had had
diversified career, though from the
hrst his talent displayed itself as an
illustrator. lie had had much ex-
perience i'm this direction for a mum.
Der of years, bat his reputation was
purely local until he established
Puck, the colored cartoons in which
soon gave him a national celebrity.
He was greater carlcaturist than
Mast, as the latter was only cam
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

Secretary Lamont estimates the
militia strength of the country at one
eighth the total of population, and
thinks that in case of need the United
States could take the field with m
army larger than that of any civilized
nation of the world. s,233, ,997 men
is his figure for the available military
strength of the country.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

THE destruction OF fish and game
in New York is exciting much at
tent on. No less than TWENTY-FIVE
bills TO amend the game laws have
been introduced in the Assembly, reg
ulating the time and methods to be
used. All the States can well afford
TO call attention To the subject. The
States and the general government
stock the streams with fine varieties
of fish, and then permit vandals, with
seines and nets and dynamite, To de-
stroy them by wholesale. The time
has come TO cali halt The finest
tishing lake in the world is Lake
Erie, and had IL not been for the
laws OF Canada there would to-day be
no fish in Lake Erie worth the seek.
ing.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

ideas are oun' In most books and
most magazine articles than In news
papers where space Is OF far more i'm.
portance. Journalism Is driving So
called literature out OF the market
The people are the gamers. They
buy the contents OF a book for cents
and less. When their tastes becomes
classic the newspaper will be classic,
too. even In the wording OF murders
and prize fights Kate Fields Wash
ingtOn.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
journalism and Literature.

Mrs Deland calls journalism 1.-The
big brother OF literature. what
she meant as sarcasm Is fact
journalism is the big brother with
out whose aid niuety-nine littera-
teurs out OF a hundred could not live.
This is the aye OF daily brains Those
who fancy that book and magazine
writer's are superior 10 journalists
would revise their opinions aid they
realize how many more words TO
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24
Gov. Hogg and the Game Laws.

The Governor, being asked about
the in nrormationzlST killing a deer in
Nacogdoches County, filed against
him and others, said he intended TO
compliment the County Attorney of
Nacogdoches OH his devotion TO duty.
"lf have violated the law in hunt
ing deer" he added, II will plead
guilty as SOON as / find IL out I
have never lodged or evaded the law.
but the. question over there is
whether Nacogdoches is not exempt
from the game law. When we were
in camp in Cherokee County, Judge
Perkins, who was with Us and had
been District Judge in that district
twelve years SAID he had examined
the question, and Nacogdoches County
was exempt. Then we crossed the
river into Nacogdoches County and
hunted faithfully, and, ] suppose.
killed the only deer in the county.
No, 1 propose IL / have violated the
law TO pay my fine" This last ex-
preston was in reply TO a question
whether he would refer the case TO
the pardon board. Galveston (Texas)
News.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

Augustus Pennoyer, treasurer Of the
Roland Reed company, has been in the
profession over forty years, and he
can count the stars he has managed
on the fingers Of one hand. For five
years he managed Lolita and is very
fond Of the little woman and her
mother. He says that during the
tive years he believes that every page
Of his account book would Show a
'charity" entry Of from SO to 5000,
as Lolita and Mrs. Crabtree were very
liberal TO unfortunate professionals
and others. Mr. Pennoyer says that
Lolita made her first appearance out
Of bag. Ad Weaver, the old negro
comedian. had an act with a partner
who played the banjo, and Weaver
came on the stage with bag over
his shoulder The subject OF dane
ing was brought up and Weaver said
he had something in the bag that
could dance, whereupon he shook it
and out hoped Lolita, who danced
before su .prised and delighted au-
dence. She learned to play the
banjo and made fortune with it,
but of late years Sne sliked to have
the instrument referred to. Mr.
Pennoyer spent twelve years, also, as
manager Of Peter and Caroline Rich
ings, the singers. The latter died of
smallpox some years ago Pennoyer
is still rs active as boy, and often
enjoys lively wrestling bout on the
stage with Mr.. Reeds uncle, Julian
Reed, who has been member Of the
company for many years and who is
devoted tO athletic spOrts
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

IT is pleasant TO note that one
John y. McKane, gentleman who
has attracted more or less attention
during the last few months, has given
change In his opinions regarding the
validity of mandates issued by the
courts. Ever since Mr.. McKane went
into the business OF furnishing ma
jorities To suit customers from his
ancestral borough OF Gravesend he
has denied that thu tribunals of the
State OF New York had any power or
authority whatever over him. '1n-
functions" he was accustomed to say
sin functions doesn't go in Grave
send" an opinion to which he added
weight by clubbing the proc Cess-seryer
into jail, TO be fined, later on, for
disorderly conduct. Mr.. McKane has
seen light, however. He realizes
that he was perhaps hasty in denying
Jurisdiction TO the State courts. He
has so completely changed his opin-
ions, in fact, that for several days
past lawyers in his employ have been
chasing judges all over the State with
the hope of getting from them one
of those documents for which he once
manifested "a supreme contempt.
The fact that such document would
postpone for "A time Mr.. McKane's
journey to Sing Sing should not be
allowed to detracJ from the sincerity
OF his repentance. He really means
it, He knows now that "injunctions
does go in Gravesend" or anywhere
else in New York State.
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

CONTINENTAL powers will modcr-
ate their transports over Mr.. Glad.
stones retirement when they reflect
that an important plank in bis sue
and must rule the wave"
The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-03-24

ONE OF the vessels wrecked off the
English coast during the recent great
storm was ia years old, aud has been
regularly engaged In the coasting
trade ever since 1t was built in 1879.
It was schooner named the Draper,
and went down with all on board.