The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-06-09
BROTHER cAaDNca's BAND.
The umskiln Club Discusses tho
AGE Of the World.


Am Brudder Stepoff Johnson in
de hall dis eavening?" inquired the
president OF the Limekiln Club as he
rose up and glanced up and down the
aisles.
He ar !" promptly replied q
voice from the region Of the alley
stairs.
Brother Johnson is nearly seven
feet high, as thickas a corn colored
envelope and makes regular business
Of having three different breeds Of
forward, dragging his long feet be-
hind him, and when he had reached
the president desk Brother Gardner
said
"Brudder Johnson, / war ober to
my fam 'ly grocery de odder night to
see IL de price OF turnips had fell,
and yo cum in an brought five punds
OF buckwheat -four an hunk o. cod
fish,"
"Yes, sab, was dar," replied Mr..
Johnson.
"Yo' was jest about to go when do
ole man Climax cum in for pint OF
befo' de two OF yo' was disputin'
bout how long ago de world was
created"
"Yes, sab, but dat ole man hain't
got no sense In his head"
81 heard yo' call him liar"
"But he dun called me fule."
II heard yo' call him crank"
But he dun called me humbug."
"Yes, l heard 1t all, an now
want TO have n little talk with yo'.
Brudder Johnson, how many vars
ago was dis world created ?"
II dunno, sab, but i reckon l
knows rs much as dat ole man
Climax"
Oats probably true, but neither
OF yo' knows muffin tall bout 1t.
Dat whar de trouble Gums in. He
said 1t was 10000 vars ole, an yo'
stuck to IL that IL was millyon.
It's human natur' dat two intelli-
gent pussons will sooner quarrel ober
| what dey doan' know dan ober sum
thin dey kin be suah oh. What we
doan' know we try to make up fur
in argument. What we lack in argy-
we can't bring man to see things
as we do, we call him fule."
"How does he know dis world am
10000 vars old9" demanded Brother
Johnson with show OF spirit.
"How does yo' know it's mill
yon?" blandly replied the president.
"Mebbe yo've got some later news
dan do rest OF us, but i doubt 1t.
Let me say to yo' as follows
What yo' believe in wild all yo'r
heart may be altogether wrong.
''De man who draps argument fur
abuse admits dat he has no case.
''De man who will admit his igno-
rance has n chance to learn wisdom;
do man who won't must continer to
be fule.
"Yo' may silence man by holdin'
an ax above his head, but he doan'
undergo no change OF opinyun.
''De man who prides hisself on
allus bein right makes brass take tho
place OF knowledge.
ut am only fule who believes
dat dis thing or dat thing am so be-
kase no has heard himself say 30.
"Brudder Johnson, when yo' stood
dar wavin dat buckwheat -four In one
hand an de Goldfish in dc odder an
cslln dat ole man nm idiot case he
wouldn't add 900, 600 y ars to do aige
OF dc world to please yo'. / was
ashamed dat yo' belonged TO dis
club. When yo' went out and dat
grocery man axed who dat umbrag-
eous niger was, dun made out dot
i didn't hear de question, an felt 80
put out dat / forgot to inquar bout
de turnips.
Pze sorry" humbly replied
Brother Johnson as his knees wob-
bled under him. of ! meet dat ole
man Climax agin, jest gwlne to
walk right by him and say muffin"
- / reckon yo'd better, fur i tells
yo' plainly dat yo' has cum powerful
nigh Citing bounced outer dis club.
Yo' draD back dar by de stove an
sot down an stay sot an chaw de cud
OF refleckshun. De next time yo'
meet pusson who frows his arms
around his head an yells at de top
OF his voice dat he knows the exact
aige OF dc airth, yo' want to exhibit
some sense In yOr hcad.
/" I will, sah."
"Yo' take yo'r buckwheat -four in
one hand and yo'r Goldfish in de odder
and slip right out an git fur homo an
leave him to talk TO box OF clothes
pins. On de way home yo' kin con-
sole yo' self wild dc reHeckshun dat IL
de par Of yo' was to kick an bite and
gouge and pull ha'r an tear up fo'ty
rods Of sidewalk il wouldn't make de
slightest difference bout de aige OF
de world. In my younger days 1
used TO go around declarin' dat no
whale ebber swallered joiner. didn't
see IL done an so wouldn't believe it.
One day / met man who declared
dat de whale did swaller joiner. We
argued an we hollered. We quar-
relied, an we fit. / broke his nose,
n m ha anlit m N t.olicaypa,