The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-05-25

one who had Glept well and felt refreshed
or whether IL was weak like that OF ono
who had watched through the long night
"It did noe seem possible that such q
time could ooms. Many cruel things have
happened to mo as TO scores Of others. but
this is tho most cruel of all Against my
wish and against my knowledge you have
crept into my life as necessity, and now
I have to give you up. You are better, God
bless you, and you go back to fuller life,
and to carry on your work, and to put to
account those talents which no one realizes
more than do, and, as for myself, God
help me, am left to wither away.
"You little one, you dear little one, / new
er wished to love you i had never loved
any one, never drawn near TO any one
have lived lonely all my young life, for
arm only young man yet. / Said to
myself time after time: Il will not love
her. 1t will not do me any good, nor her
any good And then In my state Of
health what right had to think Of mar
fiage and making home for myself OF
course that was out of the question. And
then thought that because / was a doom
ed man, cut on from the pleasures which
make lovely thing Of life, 1t did not fol-
low that might not love you In my own
4uitt way nu88h8 bstftt 10 Iuybtil
until the love became all the greater be-
cause IL was my secret reasoned about
It too. 1t could not harm you had loved
you No one could be the worse for being
loved. So little by little yielded myself
this luxury, and my heart once so dried
up, began to flower again. Yes, little one,
you will smile when i tell you that my
heart broke out into flower
"When think Of IL all now, am not
sorry that let myself go. At least have
learned whNt knew nothing Of before.
Now ! understand what people mean
when they say that love adds a dignity to
life which nothing else can give That
dignity Is mine now; nothing can take it
from me- 1t is my own. You are my very
own. I love everything about you. From
the beginning I recognized that you were
clever and capable. Though / often made
fun Of what you said, that was simply a
way / had, and when / saw you did not
mind / continued in that way, hoping al
ways to vex YOU Your good temper pro-
voked me, because / knew that you made
allowances for me being Petershof in
valid You would never have suffered
strong man to criticise you as did; you
would have flown at him, for you are a fe-
verish little child, not quiet, woolly lamb
'At first was wild that you should
make allowances for me. And then /
gave in, as weak men are Obliged When
you came, I saw that your troubles and
sufferings would make you bitter DO you
know who helped to cure you, 1t was L
] have seen that often before. That is the
one little bit OF good / have done in the
world-I have helped to cure cynicism.
You were shocked at the things 1 said,
and you were saved. I did not save you
Intentionally, 40 I am not posing as phi
lanthropist. I merely mention that you
came here hard, and you went back tender
That was partly because you have lived in
the City Of Suffering. Some people live
there and learn nothing, but you would
learn to feel only too much. Iwish that
your capacity for feeling were less, but
then you would not be yourself, your pres
ent self, mean, for you have changed even
since have known you. Every week you
seemed to become more gentle. You
thought me rough and gruff at parting,
little comrade. meant to be So If you
had only known, there was a whole world
Of tenderness for you in my heart. could
not trust myself to be tender to you--you
would have guessed my secret. And 1
wanted you to 60 away undlsturbed You
do not feel things lightly, and II was best
for you that you should harden your heart
against me.
"Ifyou could harden your heart against
mel But am not sure about that. ! be-
lieye that-ah, well, I'm foolish fellow,
but some day, dear, I'll tell you what /
think. have treasured many of your say
fngs in my memory. / can never be as
though had never known you. Many of
xvnrda hox - 80,
ward until they seemed to represent my
own thoughts. specially remember what
you said about God having made us lone
ly SO that we might be obliged to turn to
him, for we are all lonely, though some
Of us not quite so much as others You
yourself spoke often of being lonely On,
my own little onel Your loneliness is
nothing compared to mine. How often I
could have told you that
Il have never seen any Of your work,
but think you have now something to
say to Others, and that you will say 1t well.
And II you have the courage to be simple
when IL comes to the point you will sue
ceed. And believe you will have the
courage; believe everything Of you.
But whatever you do or do not you will
always be the same to me-my own little
one, my very own. I have been waiting
all my life for you, and / have given you
my heart entire. II you only knew that,
yea eetid not call yourself lonely my
more. II any one was ever loved, it is you,
dear heart.
do you remember how those peasants
at the Gasthaus thought we were betroth-
ed4 thought that might annoy you, and
though was relieved at the time, still,
later on, fwished you had been annoyed.
That would have shown that you were not
Indifferent From that time my love for
you grew apace. You must not mind mo
telling you so often. must go on telling
you. Just think, dear, this Is the firstlove
letter have ever written, and every word
of love is a whole world of love. shall
never call my life a failure now. may
have failed In everything else, but not in
loving. Oh, little one, IL can't be that / |
am not to be with you and not to have you
for ny own And yet how can that bei |
IL is not who may hold you in my arms
Some strong man must love and wrap you
round with tenderness and softness You |
little independent child, in spite Of all your