Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-08-17

of meaning, and how little an aggrega-
tion Of formidable looking words can be
made to express, if properly arranged.
AS I remember some Of the questions
and answers, they are as follows:
The reporter presume you have seen
the telegram you are alleged to have sent
relative to the purchase of sugar stock?
The SENATOR have seen a published
engraving, allegedato be from an original
document, purporting to have been writ
ten by a certain senator, asserted to be an
order for sugar stock, pretended to have
been transmitted by telegraph.
The reporter at this juncture sat down
GU his hat, and swallowed the rubber
from the end Of his leadpencil. He
buckled himself to his work, however,
and nerved himself for the next round.
The repOrter-ls it a fact, as asserted,
that the handwriting resembles yours?
The senator-AssertiOns or allegations
as to the similarlties in divergent styles of
c%hirography are vain, for the reason that
the handwriting of any public man is
moulded in appearance. by various cir
cumstances of physical or nervous affection
under which he may suffer at the exact,
period he originates or. sets forth any COM,
binatiOn of written characters. For this
reason, it is impossible to parallel two
specimens Of chirography to the end that,
the question of identity Of authorship be
completely established.
The reporter broke a large piece off q
handicapped center table, and ate it
without a word. Then he went at it.
again:
The reporter-Then the handwriting
might resemble yours, somewhat?
The senator-lt would resemble mine if
l practiced a similar style OF chirography.
The reporter-Does the handwriting re-
semble yours {?
The senator-That depends altogether
upon whether my writing is similar to
that Of the alleged telegram.
The reporter-Was such a telegram ever
sent by you?
l can give you a clear and specific denial.
The reporter-What is your opinion of
the matter?
The senator-I should dislike to express
an opinion until l had secured the senti-
ment of my constituents. Their opinion
might differ from mine, and in that case I
should feel constrained to accede to them
The reporter-Then you do not think
The senator-Never, when it can be
avoided.
The reporter-Then l may say to the
public
The senator-That, as usual, T. am labor
ing earnestly for the welfare Of the nation.
The rnnOrtar-GOod dow o;r ~ - G
The senator-Good day.
1 pause long enough to recommend
this style of i~nterrogatory and answer to.
the next senatorial investigation COM
mittee.
| hear the democrats of the senate and
house are to banquet, upon the final
passage of the tariff bills. Particulars,
are meagre, as yet, but I understand
that Mr.. Havemeyer has already on
tracted to furnish the sugar, at As per
cent. ad valorem. A list Of toasts has
been arranged, the program appearing
about as follows:
"Perditlon to American Industriesn-Mr.
Wilson of West Virginia.
Me and My Senate"-Mr. Hayemeyer.
"CroW as An Article of Diet"-Mr. Mills.
of Texas.
"What l Do Not Know About Free Wool'
Mr.. Roach of North Dakota,
"The Presence of the Presidential Foot
in the Presidential Mouth"-Mr. German
of Maryland.
The Record of the Present Congress',-5
(Limited to ten seconds.) The Vice-Presi-
dent.
Our Manifest Destiny (Just as the
consomme is served.) The President.
During the feast, Mr.. PETER of Kansas
will transform his whiskers into a COM
plete orchestra, and Mr.. Kyle Of South
Dakota has been prevailed upon to sing
when Coxey Comes Marching Home"
The menu has been prepared by Del
monico, and the repast will be as follows:
Consomme au Crow
Picked Industries Factories on Toast
Roast Crow, Monopoly Sauce
SteWed Crow, Tariff Reform Sauce
Baked Grow, with Sugar
Fricasseed Strikes
Fried Labor Disturbances
Baked Rebellion au Debs
Deviled Tramps, a la Coxey
Cooked Farmers Goose au Free Wool
Poverty Pudding Wind Pudding
Windmill Pie
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