Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-11-29

do poets wear long hairT "NOtall
Of them. Some Of them are married"
ATLANTA Constitution.
"A woman finds fault with every
body who finds fault with her husband
except herself.-Philadelph Press.
-He-"T feel completely Frustrated.
wish I were dead" She-"Well, why
don't you let me send for doctor? "-
Thomas Cat.
"A row between the champion play
ers, Lasker and Steinitz, is becoming
something of a chess nut.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
-Jack-T wonder why Pillsbury
committed suicide?" Meg-"Oh, 1t is
so much cheaper than divorce, you
know."-Life.
Times are so hard that many men
are cutting their mustaches off so that
they can smoke their cigars shorter
Atchison Globe.
-Smiley-"Now remember. l don't
want very large picture" Photog-
rapher-"All right, sir. Please close
your thr'-Tit- Bits.
Lawyer 0oyfully)-"Your divorce
Is granted, madam" Fair litigant
agitatedly-"This completely humans
detroit Tribune.
-He-"You saw some old ruins while
in England, 1 presume?" She-"Yes,
indeed! And one Of them wanted to
marry me!'-Brooklyn Life.
-Inchley-"I came within an ace Of
making a fortune once" Miss Foot
"How was that?" Inchley-"The other
man had the ace."@Free Lance.
-Maud-'Im going to keep count of
how many times Jack kisses me-"
Susan-'There'll be a great furry in
the blankbook market."-Town Topics.
-Dick-"Been to the races?" Tom
Eyes, and had great luck" Dick
"What on?" Tom-"On the way home.
didn't have to walk" detroit Free
Press.
-Teacher-"What is one Of the great
est sources Of discomfort in the world ?"
Pupil-(whose parents live at a board
ing house)-"Prune auce."-Boston
Transcript.
-Sobbing wife-"Three years ago
you swore eternal love" The
brute-"How long do you expect
eternal love to last, anyway?'-New
York Ledger.
The gesture and speeding efforts
Of young lawyer in court may be
like the hands of watch. They have
nothing to do with the case.-New Or
leans Picayune.
The ancient knight leaned lightly
upon his lance "Marry-" The mod
ern maid was on his neck in an instant.
"Oh, Roderick," she cried, this is SO
suddenv'-Pick-Me-Up.
Little girl-"Oh. mamma! Come
quickw Mamma-"Mercy, what's the
matter?" Little girl-''There's mouse
in the kitchen and the poor cat is there
all alone. Good News.
-"Was your father unkind when you
told him you wanted to marry me, his
coachman?" "No. He said at once
that he would retain you and he offered
me the maids place. Life.
-"I.as old Tough quit smoking?" in
know whether he has or not, but he
died the other day." was the evasive
reply.-Philadelph Record.
You are not looking very well this
morning." "For good reason, too. My
wife insisted on having pink tea, and
Il ho1 70 fn1- N IiffIa 70 y,In VI
even" indianapolis Journal.
"A sympathetic air is as much a
part Of a Doctors stock in trade as his
learning. This sympathetic air is not
itemized in the bill. but it appears
there all right.-Atchison Globe.
-McSwatters-.Is Clanghorn a fin
ished author?" McSwitters-"Yes
You see, he called on Woolly, of the
Howler, and called him a liar, and
well, you know Woolly.
Post.
-Customer-'T wish you wouldn't
always tell such frightful stories. 1t
makes ones hair stand on end" Bar
ber-"Exactly. That's the idea, for
then l can cut your hair better."-
Fliegende Blaetter.
-Friend-"Why do you send your
husbands clothes to tailor, when all
they need is a button?' Mrs. Manic
fem-"Well, the fact is my husband
married so young that he never learned
how to sew on a button. New York
Weekly.
1.-THE editor of the Moon is the
meanest man this side of hades."
"What makes you think thatw
"Think? / know he is. Didn't he de-
duct 80 cents from the last poem l sold
him because the fourteenth line was
two feet short in the meterT-Truth.
81 used to feel little mean at rob-
bin the bee hives" said the tender.
hearted farmer, but since l got to
thinkin' 1t over / see that am doing
'em good. Ef ii want fer me takin'
the honey all them bees would be out
of work all next summer."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
-Jaggs-"How did you ever dare to
embrace Miss Boston" Nagg-"She
was speaking ce bandit. that night as
we drove through the the strip of
woods by the river, and remarked,
What a romantic place to be held
upv" Jaggs-"Yes." Naggs-"Well, I
held her up.'-Lifc.
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