Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-08-09

go round and head them of. Calves
ton News.
WENT down with his colors flying
the painter when his staging broke.
Lowell Courier.
WHEN the devil comes to an empty
mind he is sure of place to stay all
night. Rams Horn.
No LOGICIAN has ever yet con-
WINGED boy that it was time to
come out of the water-Plan Dealer.
DON'T fool with a wasp because you
think he looks weak and tired; you
will find out he's all right in the
end.-Lowell Courier.
TALK about energy! Has anyone
more than the woman who works the
beefsteak FOUNDER that wakes you up
in the neutrality-suspicious. Globe.
Mrs. HoUsEHoLDER-"Th iceman
didn't call this morning." Cook
Eyes, ma'am, he did. There is a
puddle on the doorsteps. -Leayen-
worth Times.
A BOY never saw all of circus;
he firmly believes that only half Of
it is there, the half that is on the
bills being in some other town.-Atz
Gibson Globe.
This is what might be termed
bit Of sharp practice" murmured the
BARRIERS apprentice as he started in
on his task of learning to hone a ra-
ZOr.-Buffalo Courier.
SHE-Mr. Bacon tried to put his
arm about my waist four or five times
last night. He-Is Mr. Bacon freak
or is your waist SO very small?-
Yonkers Statesman.
SHE-"What did you mean by say
ing that looked like chromo?" he
"Why-er-I meant to say that you
did not look as though you were paint
ed. indianapolis Journal.
A FIvE-YEAR-oLD boy with long
fiaXen curls looks great deal pref
tier to his mother than he does to
the ort-haired little boys who play
with him. -Somerville Journal
TEACHER-"The race is not always
to the swift. Do you understand the
inner meaning of that?" Bright
Boy-"Sometime the head feller's
tire gets punctured. Good 1Jews.
B1LLTIRED-"The world owes me
good livin' an that's all they be to it. ="
Tom Wiser-"Yes, Of boy, but you
see they is SO many % you fellers that
she can't pay her bills. Boston Cou-
rier,
THIS is the season of revenge. The
young man who was laughed at when
he slipped on the banana peel watches
the gigelesome young woman when
the hammock breaks. Washington
Star.
"BEG pardon" said the missionary,
"bat you will translate his ma iesty's
remarks again? Did he tell his daugh-
ter that he was to have guests to din
ner or for dinner" - indianapolis
Journal.
Mrs. HALE Gust married)-"Maria,
we will have eel as a second course
for dinner" Maria-"How much
ought to get, ma'am?" Mrs Hale
q think twelve yards will be suf11-
cient. Vogue.
MISS BELLEFIELD (relating an in
cident)-Then | dropped my voice,
and Mr.. Halket Gnterrupting)
That wouldn't hurt it. You is
such soft voice, you know. Pitts
burg Chronicle.
THE ENTHU sIAsTIC ADMIRER--
Really, you have the most beautiful
natural complexion | ever saw in my
life. The Thoughtless Girl wv. tn sur
prise)-Why, you have never seen it,
Steamship Bulletin.
"Do YOU believe in second sight"
asked Dumley of Jack Pott, and the
other answered grim y: IL saw man
with four aces the other night, and /
shall not try a second sight for some
time. "-Bofton Commercial.
WHY" she said, as she watched
the tumbling waves come in, "do they
call them breakers? 81 cannot tell"
he replied in solemn tones, Gun ess
it's because it costs me 81 day to
get near them. Detroit Free Press.
AUNT AMANDA-"I hear the Cor
ners is goin' to have free mail de-
livery" Uncle ReuEen-"Another of
them confounded citifed notions!
How's man goin to hear the news
without goin' down to the postoffice?"
Arkansaw Traveller.
CALLER-I suppose, Grace, that
your being chosen valedictorian OF
the class will make considerable study
and preparation necessary. Grace
oh, no, indeed. I've left everything
to mother and the dressmaker-A
ansaw Traveller.
CoUNTRYMAN Ito dentist) = Il
wouldn't pay nothin' extra fer gas.
Jest yank her out ii it does hurt
Dentist-"You are plucky, sir. Let
me see the tooth" Countryman-
~Oh faint me that's got the tooth
ache; it's my wife She'll be here in
a minute. The Waterbury.