The Newtown bee., 1894-03-16

9. Take things by their smooth handle.
 10. When angry always count ten be- fore you speak. ..,. ....,
 BEAUTIFUL EPITAPH ON AN INFANT. Beneath this stone, in sweet repose,
 Is laid mothers dearest pride; A flower that scarce had walked to life,
 And light and beauty, ere it died.
 God, in His wisdom, hath recalled
 The precious boon His love had given,
 And though the casket molders here,
 The gem is sparkling now in Heaven!
 The best anecdote of Lorenzo Dow is, that being enc evening at the hotel kept by one Bush, in Delhi, New York, the residence of the celebrated General Root, he was importuned by the latter gentle man, in the presence of the landlord, to describe Heaven. "You say a great deal of that place,'' said the general, ''telll us how it looks" Lorenzo turned his grave face and long waving beard toward Messrs Root and Bush, and replied with perturable gravity: "Heaven, friends, is vast extent of smooth, rich territory r there is not a Root or a Bush in it, and there never will be-
 Natural HistOry.-"Papy, can't I go to the geological rooms to see the camo- mile fight the rhinosecow?" "Sartin, my son-but don't get your trowsers torn. Strange, my dear, what taste that boy has got for nat'Iai history, isn't it? No longer ago than yesterday he had eight pair of tom-cats hanging by their tails from the clothes line.'' "No! bless his little heart, come to his mother.'
 A tutor of college, featuring a young man on his irregular conduct, added, with great pathos, s'the report of your vices will bring your fathers gray hairs with sorrow to the grave. 5 "I beg your pardon, sir" replied the pupil, 'my fath- CT wears q wig" ... ..l, You ask me, love, how many times I think of you a day? frankly answer only once, -.-
 And mean just what say. .. You seem perplexed, and somewhat hurt '.' But waitland hear the rhyme ''' Pray, how can one do more than once, | What one does all the time? - 5i..... ... | A hungry Scotehnau took up raw egg, cracked the shell and was raising il to his mouth, when his ear was suddenly saluted by the shrill pipe of an unborn l chicken. .t'tsYe. spake too late,' cried Sandy, and down went the bullet, feath. CTS and all.
 A Hard Separation.--A young gentle men paid his addresses to young lady, i by whose mother he was unfavorably re- ceived. "How hard,' said he. to the young lady, ito separate those whom love has united.!n, sYery hard indeed. replied she, with great innocence, at the same time throwing her arms around his neck, 'and so mother will find it.'' .s- I If you meet a man who is your debtor don't abuse him, don't shun him, but take him kindly by the hand, evince. ar interest for him, part with him in gooo humor. If he is not a scoundrel he vii resolve to pay you at the earliest possible moment. When shall we all learn tha kindness ever aceomplishes more thar anger? | A mechanic, passing along with hi
 saw and axe in his hand, spied master sweep talking familiarly to a smart look ling boy. tIs that boy your son?'' In lquired the mechanic. "Yes,n replied
 the other, s'she is.'7 ss.You don't surel,
 intend to make sweep of that fine littl
 fellow, do you2,' If he behaves himsel 4 vel. rejoined the father, T shall; bu if he is not a good boy. will bind hin .Eapprentiee to a carpenter, or some sucl trade.n s.i < F