davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Cleanliness In One Home.

Alexander Selkirk resides in Detroit.
and, strange to say, his wife's maiden
name is Robinson. She is, take her a.
in a., the very pink O. perfection. When
he comes hame at cen, he is obligated
to take off his boots in the passage. She
hands him his slippers. When he puts
them on, he jumps frae ae mat to an
ither till he reaches his chair. When
he sits doom to supper, she ties bib
round his neck and twa or three nap
kins on his knees. If morsel O. beef
or bread should happen to ia on the
floor, she directs his attention to it and
informs him that a guilty conscience
needs nae accuser. Her stove shines as
bright as her coal black eye, and her
tinware sparkles on the wall like dia-
monds in the darkness.
When he is sitting on a chair, she
will not permit his back to touch the
back Of 1t. He sits bolt upright. In a
private CO.. rsa:ion he said Sir, my
wife b~1ss =. she is the trigest wife
ever saw. In her pernickety ways
sometimes think that she is just rather
to the rather. Yet VII a her faults
l wad be as mad as a March hare if
onybody was ignorant enough to apply
to her the auld saying that a clear
glove sometimes covers dirty hand. I"
Detroit News Tribune.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
an Interesting Creature.

The slug and its habits and peculiari-
ties arc we'll worth a little attention
from those who are fond of the unusual
and curious things of earth. A family,'
upon moving into a house, remarked
that the cellar was lined all over with
thin, shining tracks where some Shiny,
creature had crawled. For long time
the makers Of the tracks could not be
found, bu5 we're at last discovered un-
derneath box in one corner where the
mice had carried some leaves and pieces
of vegetables. They were put into a
glass fruit jar and fed with leaves and
scraps of vegetables. They seemed to eat
but little, but were continually crawl,
ing about the jar. AT the slightest
sound they contracted into q length Of
not more than az inches, remaining
perfectly quiet for few minutes, when
they cautiously put out their feelers and
began to move. The head seemed to go
on, and the tail was still until the body
measured almost 6 inches, when grad
ually the entire length moved slowly
along. AS it crawled up the side Of the
jar the under side of the body could be
clearly seen through the transparent
material. Its propulsiye power seemed
to be q sort of endless chain arrange
ment that ran lengthwise from head to
tail This slug is as thick as ones little
finger The longest specimen measured
a trifle over inches In length. New
York Ledger
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
The Wounded In the Next Var.

The conqueror Of the future, if he &C.
cepts the old time conventional burden
of his adversary's wounded, will be-
come its victim. He will not accept the
incubus. Is tito be imagined that the
victor in such circumstances will think
twice even about his own wounded, let
alone the wounded of the other side?
70 He is in the field not to be hospital
nurse, but to follow up his advantage
by hammering on the enemy who has
departed, leaving his own wounded be-
hind, and who may come back again to-
morrow to strike him while clogged in
the live and dead debris of yesterdays
battle. The victor will hasten away to
overtake or hang on the skirts Of the
vanquished army, leaving the wounded
on both sides to be dealt with as may be
possible by such surgeons as he can af-
ford, in view of future contingencies, to
leave behind, and to the ministrations
Of Cosmopolitan amateur philanthro-
pists of the Red Cross and kindred or
CARNATIONS, for there will be no more
military bearer companies In the hun
ger for fighting men the 1000 bearers
per army corps Of the present will have
been incorporated into a strong brigade,
with arms in their hands and a place in
the fighting line. Archibald Forbes in
EcTibDer'S
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
straightening Slant Eyes.

The wheel of progress whizzes onl
The japanese have got the wrinkle into
their head that their slanting eyes must
straighten out like white mans. The
consequence is that a surgeon who was
doing very little in this country is fast
getting rich in the novel business. He
has been there only. two years, but he
has induced several classmates to join
him, apd.they are vcfy asst compiling a
respectable bank account The operation
for Strengthening the slant in the Jap's
eye is described as comparatively pain
less 1t is confined exclusively to the ex-
terror corner of the eyelids.
The surgeons sharp little blade is in
serted under that part of the lid near
the slant, an almost infnitesimal slit is
made, fine silk thread stitches the
parts together, and, presto, change! the
Jap arises from his chair a happy man,
with eyes as straight as those Of any
white man. Boston Advertiser.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Senator CoclsreIl.s Memory.

Senator Cockrell of Missouri especial
ly prides himself upon never forgetting
a name or face, ard SO marked is this
trait that his friends say he can visit
the house Of any Of his constituents aft
er an unlimited absence and speak to
each member Of the family by name.
But no man is infalliblo, and this Sen
ator CoclTell discovered Oh accosting
one of his constituents while at home
recently, whose name he tried by every
means possible to remember, but unsuc-
cessfully. Finally he hit upon what he
considered a solution Of the officially,
and under the guise of taking the con-
stituent's name down for the purpose of
sending him some documents he asked
him to spellit. He almost staggered
when he received the reply, Jones. /"
"Oh," said the senator, II mean your
first name"
Then again came another stagger when
the constituent replied, "W-i-l-l-i-a-m. !"
The senator is not just at the present
time Dragging about his wonderful
memory. w Washington News
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Measuring Hardness,

For determining tho hardness or fra
bility of certain substances NJ. Rosiwal
has described to the Vienna academy a
Jew method devised by him which is
characterized by entire simplicity. The
measurements consist in comparing the
losses of weight sustained by the bodies
under investigation by scratching them
with given weight of polishing ma
terial mounted on metallic or glass
base until the substance loses its eff
cheney, the polishing appliances com
prising dolomitic sand, emery and pure
corundum. The diamond is assigned
its place in the scale of hardness by
comparing its effectiveness as polish.
ing agent with that of corundum, prov,
ing 140 times as hard as the latter, and
to these succeed topaz, 1914; quartz, 175
adularia, 592; apatite, so; fiourspar,
GA; calcite, SO; rock salt, 30, and
tale, 0.04.-New York Sun.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
A COMEDY or ERRORS.


Stupidity Mixed with Carelessness That
Brought Modification to a Lovely Woman.
talk Of Comedy of Errorsr = said
q woman Of society the other day. II
had an experience lately that might
have been called by that name, although
it was anything bat a comedy to poor
me. You know that am rather an old
fashioned houselzeeper and pride myself
ON my cake, which l make myself from
time to time, and Of which, when it
turns out particularly we'll, / like to
send q specimen to some friend. So the
other day, when l had very good luck
with new recipe, arranged my best
looking cake, all daintily frosted, III q
cardboard box, and telling my maid to
bid the ocachman take it to Mrs S.,
with my card, went out to do some
shopping.
Ibid you send the cake?' I asked on
my return. Oh ma am, exclaimed the
Abigail, James made such mistakel
/ told him to take the box in the hall,
and when came down stairs I found
he had taken the big case that you
brought homo yesterday.
"Well, of course it was O piece of
stupidity, but did not really mind, for
the case contained a fine copy of an an
tique flying Victory and as Mrs. s. is
woman Of rare appreciation l felt
really pleased that she should have it,
and that l, for my part, should have the
credit of remembering her tastes and
making what knew would be an ac-
ceptable present. But was not so we'll
pleased when Mary, the overzealous,
continued, so, as soon as found out.
ma am, what he had done, l told him
to go straight back and say that it was
a mistake and that you would like the
case back, ma ami
"You may imagine how / feltl 1t
was then too late to do anything, but
all night the affair weighed on my mind
like an incubus, and the very next
morning wrote Mrs. S. long explain
atory note, apologizing for the double
mistake of man and maid and trying to
explain how the confusion had arisen.
1t sounded awkwardly enough, but it
was the best could do, so l sent it off
with the cake, which i'll the meanwhile
had been left waiting in the hall. When
the man came back, l asked him what
he had done with the case. What case%
he said stupidity. Why, the case Mary
told you to fetch back from Mrs. S. s. ;
'Shure, an niver got it back at all, ;
was his most unexpected answer, which
put the finishing touch to the altogether
trying situation, for if l had never writ
ten my note Of explanation it would
have been all right. When, that after
noon, the expressman brought back the
unfortunate Victory, together with a
polite but puzzled note from Mrs. S. re-
turning the unluclxy present (Which 1
afterward learned through a mutual
friend had been received with much
pleasure and given conspicuous place
in. the library, my modification was
complete. Of course there was nothing
else to be done about it, but could not
bear the sight of the unlucky statuette
and sent it to a distant relative, hoping
never to see Or hear Of it again New
York Tribune.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
cHoFiMa TWELFTH NourUnns.

Beyond the realm Of being and Of pain,
Upward and onward fits my charmed soul.
Captive to the ineffable control
OF music's wonder worker. Every strain
OF this heaven nurtured harmony is rain
To the parched glcbe Of memory, scroll
Whereon are craven cabalas that roll
Floods of bewildering transport on the brain
In joys whirlpool revel as soar,
And from the ether heights whereto clint
List the sound waves sweep back from Lethe's
shore
In lessening cadence toward the stand o
Time.
Deeply In the Circean founts l dip
Aud with the wild winds mix in fellowship.
A season, and throughout my spirit runs
A pang of awesome desolateness, lent
Tho somberness of some dead armament
Of cinerated worlds and buried suns.
And then the presence OF long vanished ones
Soul fellows ere youths heritage was spent
Glides palpably a-near. am content.
ny grasp Infinitude no longer shunsl
A moment, and mighty sorrow, born
or exaltation's excess, casts pail;
Tears start as drops of Natures grief at morD
Adown chameleon shafts of sunlightfall:
My being quivers meath the sweet duress
OF pain more joyous than earth's joyousnessl
John Talman in McClure's Magazine.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
THE OLD t5ARPOONER.



A Fit Of the Poetry That Has Gone Out Of
Whaling Life.
The gallant seaman who in all the
books stands in the PROV of whaling
boat waving harpoon over his head,
with the line shaking ont into the air
behind him. is only to be found now in
Paternoster row. The Greenland seas
have not known him for more than a
hundred years, since first the obvious
proposition was advanced that one could
shoot both harder and more accurately
than one could throw. The swivel gun.
Ike huge horse pistol, with its great
oakum wad and 20 drains of powder, is
a more reliable but far less pictur.
esque object.
But to aim with such a gun is an art
il itself, as will be seen when one con-
siders that the rope is fastened to the
neck of harpoon, and that as the mis-
sile flies the downward drag of this rope
must seriously defect it. So difficult is
1t to make sure of ones aim, that it Is
the etiquette of the trade to pull the
boat right onto the creature, the prov
shooting up its soft, gently sloping side
and the harpooner firing straight down
into its broad back, into which not only
the four foot harpoon but 10 feet Of the
rope behind it will disappear. Then,
should the whale cast its tail in the air
after the time honored fashion of the
pictures, that boat would be in evil case,
but fortunately when frightened or hurt
it does no such thing, but curls its tail
up underneath it, like cowed dog. and
sinks like a stone. Then the bows
splash back into the water, the harpoon-
er hugs his own soul, the crew light
their pipes and keep their legs apart,
while the line runs merrily down the
middle of the boat and over the bows.
There are two miles of it there, and
second boat will lie alongside to splice
on if tho first should run short, the end
being always kept loose for that pur-
pose. And now occurs the one serious
danger of whaling. The line has usu
ally been coiled when it was wet, and
as it runs out it is very liable to come
in loops, which whiz down the boat
between the mems legs. A man lassoed
in one of these nooses is gone and fifty
fathoms deep before the harpooner has
time to say, Where Jockt" Or if it
be the boat itself which is caught then
down it goes like a cork on trout line,
and the man who can swim with
whaler' high boots on is a swimmer in
deed. Many whale has had Par
THAN revenge in this fashion. Some
years ago man was whisked over with
blight of rope round his thigh.
George, man, Alec's gone!" shrieked
the boat steerer, heaving up his ak to
cut the line. But the harpooner caught
his wrist. INA, ia, num- he cried,
"the oil money'll be good thing for
the widdie." And so it was arranged
while Alec shot on upon his terrible
journey. A. Conan Doyle in McClure's
Magazine.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Tho soldler was n DinlomatIst.

A good story of the Duke of Yelling
ton is told. After one of the battles in
Spain he invited young officer, who
had exhibited conspicuous bravery, to
dine with him in his tent Riding by
some short while afterward, the duke
overheard the young man exultantly
proclaim, 81 am going to dine with
Wellington tonight. ;"
''You might vouchsafe me the prefix
of Mr. at least, Captain -" re-
marked the duke dryly.
mot at all, my lord" retorted the
unabashed youth. II should not speak
Of Mr.. Caesar or Mr.. Alexander, SO
why should talk of Mr.. Wellington?'
Sheffield telegram.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Forced to Confess.

A curious point in Swedish criminal
law is that confession is necessary be-
fore capital sentence can be carried
out. If, however, the culprit persists
In protesting his innocence in the face
of overpowering evidence, the prison
discipline is made extremely strict and
severe Until tie desired confession is OBJ
tanned. Popular Magazine.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

In England they have what is called
damp detector," a silver trinket,
not unlike compass in appearance AT
the back are small holes inlthe silver,
through which the damp passes and
moves the needle until it points to the
word damp" By the aid of this con-
triyance unaired sheets can be detected.
Hardware.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
What She XVnnted.

Nine Parvenoo--I want q first class
ticket to Rome
Agent representing the Tourists In
ternational company-Yes, ma'am.
Nine. Parvenoo-And l want it to
include an excursion to Italy, do you
understand?-Chicago Record.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Fell Dead.

These words are very familiar to
our readers, as not a day passes
without the report of the sudden
death of some prominent citizen.
The explanation is "Heart Disease
Therefore beware if you have any OF
the following symptoms: Short
breath, pain in side, smothering
spells swollen ankles, asthmatic
breathing, weak and hungry spells,
tenderness in shoulder or arm, fut
tering of heart, or irregular pulse
These symptoms mean heart disease
The most reliable remedy is DR.
Miles New Heart Cure, which has
saved thousands of lives. Book Of
testimonials free at A. M. Gilbert,
who also sells the New Heart Cure.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Sells on Sight.

Peddler-Have You any daughters.
mum?
Housekeeper-Sir
''Plase, mum, I don't ask out Of vul-
gar curiosity, mum. I'm selling resona-
tors. -
"What are they?"
"You hang one up in the hall, mum,
and it so magnifes every sound that a
goodnight kiss sounds like a cannon
shot. -
"Give me three. New York Week
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

In case in which a man was accused
Of forgery q witness for the defense
managed to say, II know that the pris-
oner cannot write his own name. " "All
that is excluded" said the judge. 1.-THE
prisoner is not.charged with writing his
own name, but that of some one elsev'
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

When SO many people are taking
and deriving benefit from Hoods
Sarsaparilla, why don't you try it
yourself? 1t will build you up.
Hoods Sarsaparilla will make you
strong.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

The Zanzibar coast is the property Of
the Imperial British East Africa COM
pany, which administers its affairs and
keeps up the civil government and a
standing army composed Of Sudanese.
Its total area is estimated at 1000, 900
square miles
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

A-You say Smythe's new store
on the avenue is closed 4?
B-Yes, it's shut up.
A-Why, 1 thought it was doing
an immense business.
B-That's just what busted it up
1t was always so crowded that no.
body could get into it.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
THOSE WHO suEEER

from the results Of governmental or physi-
cal exertioD, hardship, exposure, hidden
drains, caprice, or who have brought upon
themselves series of Affections by igno.
rantly or williuliy violating natures laws.
will lind in CATIONS YITALIzER ASD
NERVE TONIC the remedy for their GER
tam reliei. 1t speedily removes all evi-
dences Of progressive physical deteriora.
ton and restores the enfeeb.ed energies to
their natural yigor
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Dissatisfied.

Bingo-I hear your wife has new
maid. What was the matter with the
old one?
Kingley--She complained l wasn't
home enough evenings New York
Herald.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
BuokIen's Arnica saIys.

The BEST SALvE in the world for cuts,
bruises. sores, ulcer, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, ChiIblains
congestion, eruptiuns, and it positively
cures piles or no pay required. Ii is guar
anteed to give satisfaction or money re-
funded. Price % cents per box, vt l.. @.
Matthaei's drug store.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
WHENEVER THERE IS

any weakness Of theyita organs, nervous.
ness, prostrati0n of the physical or mental
energies, confusion OF ideas, lack Of self
confidence, irritabiy oftemper, melancholy,
cowardice. weakness OF The knees ami
back. palpitation OF the heart, dragging
pain in the loins. headache, Irritation Of
the kidneys and bladder, milky urine.
pernicious and hidden wastes, resulting
In failure of the mental and physical
powers, constituting an impeachment to
success and uniting him or her for the
duties and responsibilities of life, it is the
remedy par excellence.
A single package will be sufficient to in
augurate the work of regeneration, and
cure in many cases. But stubborn cases
often require more. 1t will be sent, post
paid, secured from observation, for 800
per package, or packages for $500. al,
dress all orders to
CATION MED. CO.,
July 2S-9Alyr. Boston. Mass.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
What is

Ca ra is DR.. sar,n~i fitcsrss prescription fer Fsfts
and Children. contains neither Opium, IL
Narcotic substance. Il is harmless su;t1Its
for Paresoric Drops, Soothing Syru., and Castor OIL
Pleasant. Its guarantee il thirty years Big
Rienx of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and alays
fevcrishness Castnra prevents scsiiing Sour Curd,
cures Iiarrhea and Wind Collie. Castoria relieves
tecting troubles. constipation and fatulency.
assmilatcs the foos rssssscs tho stomach
bowels giving healthy snsl natural sleep. Cas-.
tori, Chlrcn's cattle Mothers Friend.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

Barber Ito customer)-You are
about the baldest man / ever saw,
sir. eyes; been married three
times.n
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

THE PAST guarantees the future.
1t is not what we say, but. what
Hoods Sarsaparilla does, that tells the
tory. Remember HOODS CURES
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

Rudyard Kipling' suothcreaid of her
son that'he was a clever man~,bu that
he should never be allowed to talk. He
should be used as a dictionary and con-
suited where required
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

Brown-I hear you have had an
addition TO your family?
Jones-Yes; and something to
carry.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

HKOOd s Pills cure nausea, sick
headache, indigestion, biliousness.
Try box.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

The bite of venomous snake may be
cured by inoculating the person bitten
with the blood Of the reptile which IN
hicted the wound
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Brace Up.

You are feeling depressed. your appetite
is poor, you are bothered with Headache,
you are fdgetty, nervous and generation
but not with stimuiants, spring medicines
or bitters. which have for their basis very
cheap, bad whlskey, and which stimulate
you Tor an hour, and then leave you in a
worse condition than before. What you
want is an Alternative that will purify our
blood. start healthy action of Liver aud
Kidneys, restore your vitality anI give
renewed health ana strength. Such medi
cine you will lind in Electric Bitlers ara
only 30 cents bottle, at l.. G. Matthaei 5
Drug Store.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11

I IdoIOI, IutOII q PttU IUIIIHy'
Eyes, as poor as plaster, poor as
plaster porous plaster. If you don't
send that impudeAt kid to bed in FIVE
minutes, I'll lick him till he can't see. F"
Then Mr.. Figg put his hat on we'll
down over his eyes, and not needing his
wife's advice to wear his overshoes went
down town. indianapolis Journal.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1894-08-11
Castoria.

s'C:storia is so well adapted to children that
recommend it cs superior to any prescription
known 70 me-
II. A. ARCHER, II. D.,
III So. Oxford ST., Brooklyn, N. 2.
'ouf physicians in the childrea's depart
nsent il;lv. spoken highly of their expert
enca in their outside practice with Castoria,
and although we only have among our
medical supplies what is known as regular
produces, vat we ere free to confess that the
llerits CT Castoria has won look with
favor upon it."
USlrED HOSPITAL AND DEsPEasARY,
Boston. Mass
ALLEN C. SAITH, Pres.