Evening star., 1894-11-03

|
recognized it as a bill. The next he put
aside to read at his leisure, because he
knew it was from his sister and long
The three remaining communications he
picked up with a bright look of pleasure,
| for they were evidently invitations. One
was q large square cardboard and contained
fine piece of engraving. 1t informed him
| that Mrs. Dash would be at home on the
| following Thursday evening at o'clock.
In the lower left-hand corner was the word
dancing"
The next was a note beginning MY dear
| Mr.. -" and said that the writer would be
| charmed If he would dine with her in
| formally on certain evening. The third
was an ordinary visiting card, and under
the engraved name was written Thurs
day, December :. 3 o'clock" This was an
| invitation to tea, of course, and II must
be confessed that it made small impression
| on the recipient. Here, then, were three
| typical invitations, and he knew exactly
| what to expect from each of them. He
resolved to go to the. dancing party, but he
would not take the trouble to send an ac-
| ceptance. There was no intimation that
| one was expected. The note asking him to
| come to dinner he would reply to with
another note saying that he would come
| with pleasure. AS for the card to the tea,
| he would stick it in the corner of his look
| ing-Glass and go or not, according as the
|
| that he might forget all about it.
| But There Is a Correct Form.
OF recent years. there has grown up a
custom which is becoming more and more
popular of putting all invitations in the
| form of simple announcements. The visit
| ing card of the hostess is used, and on it
| she writes the day and hour of the enter
| tainrent. This is put in an envelope and
| sent through the mail. 1t saves trouble un-
dOubtGdly, but not many years ago it would
not have been acceptable. The etiquette
of olden days required that the card be in
due form, and that 1t be left at your house
by a servant. Your answer was to be
formal also, and transmitted In the same
way. Even in the informality of the pres
ent cay it cannot be said to be right to re-
ply by mail to an invitation which has
| been sent You by a servant. Send your
| own servant arou Id with your answer, or
pay a quarter for "a nessei ger boy.
You are not right either if you deliver
| your answer by wCrd of mouth alone If
| you Teet the person who has invited you,
| you may thank her and say whether or not
| you are coming, but you must send the
written reply beside. Nor is 1t correct to
| reply to a formal invitation by an informal
| note. If for any reason you wish to send
| an Informal note, do so by all means, but
| let 1t be only supplen entary to the formal
answer. OF course, all these things are
| rather q bore, and perhaps they are un-
| necessary, but that has rothing to do
| with the case. If you are in the swim you
| must follow the rules observed by other
swimn ers. You have no right to make
| rules for yourself. If you don't like the
| forms you can easily avoid them by per-
| sistently declining the invitations you re-
| ceive. After while you will not get any,
and you can live in sweet retirement. 1t
| is generally supposed that a woman is
| more obstrvant of the rules of invitation
than man, and this is doubtless true in
| most cases, but single man must know
the rules and be careful to follow them, for
burden
his shoulders.
Why n RefOrmcr Failed.
A story is told of a man who cnce started
out to reform the rules of social life, and
especially those of invitations He Was es-
pecially iesirous of making them simple.
So, when he received an invitation to any
thing If he wished to go, he sent his visit
ing card as reply. If he did not send a
card within three days, that meant that he
declined. His acquaintances hardly under
stood him at first, and people who extended
him Invitations did not know what to make
of his conduct. One day he walked in to
dinner party and found himself an extra
and superfiuous man there, for his hostess
receiving only a card with his name on It
in reply to her invitation concluded that he
must be going out of town, or must be i'll,
and quietly filled his place. Finally, his
purpose dawred upon his circle and 1t was
universally agreed that such great re-
former was too fine a character for ordinary
people to associate with, SO he was left
religiously alone afterwards, and his great
scheme of reform fell through for want of
anybody to practice 1t upon.
There Is a great deal to be said on this
subject of replying to invitations, and the
proper mode of requesting you to do so.
Let us see how some people do 1t.
Bridget, for instance, is sending an invi-
tation for a party to her friend Susan, who
lives across the street, and this is the way
it runs:
"NIrS EIypp reouaSts tho plaosure of Nf,.s
Susan O'Neilrs company on Thursday next
at O'Clock at night to a party, and will
you please bring some biscuits with you"
The lady who pays wages to Mrs. Flynn
and who has had every advantage in life
that money and culture can bring, who is
in fact quite swell, happens to see one of
these invitations. She laughs heartily, and
tells her friends about it, and they laugh
too. What tickles them especially is the
bad grammar-to put half the invitation
in the third person and then change about
to the second person. Fancy one of us
sending such an invitation!' they say in
chorus. Yet the very day that madame
says this she very likely sits down and pens
something in this style:
Mrs. Blank requests the pleasure of Miss
Dashe's company on Thursday evening"
November 4, at 8 o'clock.
Dancing. R. g. VP
"wednesday, October 81, 2OO9 x street"
Now, in what respect is Mrs. Blanks in
vitation better than Bridgets? Just look
at 1t moment.
Say 1t in English.
She maintains the third person beautiful
ly until the end, when she puts down the
initials which stand for repondez sill vous
plez-answer II you please. She has done
the very thing that Bridget did. 1t is, per-
haps, hardly fair to be too much of purist
In conventional matters of this kind, but
still, while usage has perhaps sanctioned
II In a measure 1t Is hard to reconcile one
self to a mixture in invitation of the
third and second persons. All criticism can
be avoided by saying Mrs. Blank requests
the pleasure of your company, etc., and
retaining the II, S. V. p, or by dropping
these mystic letters and writing out the
sentence The favor Of an answer is request
ed There are persons, however, who always
maintain that it is unnecessary to say
anything about an answer, when the in
vitation contains the words requests the
pleasure since q request always implies
a desire for an answer. This is, strictly
speaking, true, but the difficulty Is that it
Is not generally so considered and an in
vtation to a party which simply requests
a persons company viii go unanswered by
half the people to whom 1t is sent. OF
course, this does not apply to an invitation
to dinner which must always be answered
no matter how it Is worded yet there are
few persons who mention the wish for