davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
1T WOULDN'T WORK.
The letter and Check Were Not Good
Enough to do the Trick.

The letter and Check Were Not g ood
Enough to DO the Trick.
After he had read the letter and duly
Inspected the check he muttered:
We'll. well; that is the strangest re-
quest ever had made to me"
What's the matter? ?" asked the
stranger DO they want you 10 tele-
graph that you have received the
money!"
.Oh. no: not at all. They know well
enough that | wouldn't do that"
Ask you to acknowledge receipt by
first mail?"
No; I rather expected them to ask
that. but they haven't"
Maybe they would like to have you
hold it a week before depositing it.
No funds in the bank just how"
No"
"What do they want, then?"
why. the check is their receipt, and
they ask me To deposit it as soon as
possible
What is there strange about that?'
What is there strange about it?
guess YOU don't know me. That check
i for eight dollars-see?" He showed
the stranger the check, and then went
down into his trousers pocket and
pulled out six pennies. dime and a
nickel. That's the size of my pile, -
he went on. ''and it's little bigger to-
day than usual Now. then. under the
circumstances. wouldn't YOU say that
a man was wasting time and ink when
he asked me To deposit a check a soon
as possible? Funny how some men
will Say. you haven't eight dollars
about you. have you? Nou have? just
wait until indOrse the check. and
What. you won't cash it? Seen the
game played before? Hang me, but
that's squelcher for an ambitious
man. took week to map out that
story and thought it was new. The
check looks all right. anyway. and |
made il small SOS / could work II off
easy. ChicagO Post
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
PENSION REFORM.
Democratic Methods of Reducing Public
Appropriations.

Appropriations.
The New York World of a recent
date contains this paragraph: There
has been a promising start in pension
reform. The greatest source of ex-
travagance and fraud in the federal
system has been boldly and honestly
attacked. The pension appropriation
bill reported to the house is nearly
fifteen million dollars less than the
amount appropriated for the current
fiscal year. This is a record of which
the democratic party has right TO be
proud"
In these days of great suffering and
want among the needy poor, when
thousands of struggling men and
women are fighting the battle of want,
doing heroic service in satisfying
hunger or keeping warm the bodies of
their little ones. i'm the face of the
greatest calamity ever known among
the labOring poor of the United States.
il sounds well i'm the ears of, nobody
can tell who. to hear great metiopol-
itan newspaper like the New York
World hoist into its double-leaded
columns these words: This is a rec
ord of which the democratic party has
a right to be proud"
What record? Is il the taking away
from the hungry and dependent poor
of this country of ours of fifteen mil
lion dollars that might assuage the
pangs of poverty and make comfort
able many an old soldier and his help
less, dependent family, who, as a
reasonable compensation for the rigors
and deprivations as suffered in The
great war of the rebellion for the per
petuity of our nation, have been
permitted to enjoy the benefit of few
dollars each month from the treasury
of the United States?
The New York World may he proud
of such boast, but the better elements
of our republic will hide their faces
with shame when they are given to uu-
derstanC that this boosted avenue of
reform is To be at such great sacrifice
and injustice to a deserving class of
men who seem now TO pc without
friends or those TO champion their
cause, because they who MANNED them
IL. cattle and despoiled them in war are
l. y the administrators of the nation.
Homo lovers, these soldiers made i,
possible that such a government could
s--igt
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
HER NAME NEVER PRINTED.

The Curious Ill Luck Which Has for
Years Followed a Washington Woman.
1t looks as though social notoriety is
not to be the fate of one Washington
woman whose name for some inscrut-
able reason for the last half-dozen
years has been omitted from all pub
lished accounts of gatherings in which
she has taken part. An overmaster-
ing curiosity finally prompted her to
institute an investigation into the
matter, says the Post. She then found
that, so far from the omission having
been Intentionalon the part of the cor
respondents, it arose from the fact that
she was personally unknown even by
sight to them. Having satisfied her
self on this score, the incognito short
ly thereafter ordered her carriage,
and. calling for friend, took her for
a drive. The little excursion, planned
for pleasure, had a most disastrous
termination, as the horses, taking
fright, ran away and, getting beyond
the control of the coachman, the
vehicle was overturned and both
ladies injured, the owner of the car
riage quite seriously. In the midst of
her pain as she was being carried home
there flashed through her mind the
thought that the runaway would be
given space in the papers. Then, as
the turnout was her property, her
name would of necessity figure in the
account. The following morning a
detailed account of the accident APP
peared in the paper, but by strangc
fatality that has for SO long ruled her
elimination from print, her name was
not mentioned. That of her companion
was several times repeated in the
article, which wound up by stating
that "a friend who was in the car
rage at the time was also injured"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
Readers for Cigarmakers.

Literature and tobacco 40 together
in Key Vest" said a citizen of that
tight little island Every cigar fac
tory has its regularly employed read
er. who comes to work with the rest oi
the people in the morning and reads
To them all day"
who pays the reader?'
The work people. A small amount
is deducted for this purpose from The
wages of each employee. The plan is
adopted by the manufacturers as an
economical expedient. a. keeps the
workers from talking. ard so prevent:
interruption of their later"
.'But why should not the work PEG
Pile roll cigars and talk st the same
timea"
because they cannot talk without
gesticulating. That wouldn't dc a
all. You see. L sides. the reader. by
engaging the att, ntion of the hands
prevents quarrels among them
Washington Star
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
INDICATIONS OF INSANITY.
Failings Which Are Manifest In Free
Trade Democrats.


Trade Democrats.
One of the distinctive marks of
lunacy is that the subject becomes es-
tranged from those who are and have
been the nearest personal friends--th"
husband towards the wife: the father
towards the son, etc. BY This freak of
insanity we are called to notice some
thing equally strange in persons of
sound mind who are possessed of that
strange theory known as free trade,
which in its operations produces re-
suits very much the same as insanity,
for the free trader in the United States
yearns and desires foreign instead OF
home labor. He discourages home
manufactures but encourages foreign
manufactures. He withholds from the
home producer and patronizes the for
eign producer. lie beholds the wheels
of commerce standing still at home.
while he halls the coming of foreign
snip. He laughs to scorn the die work
men in the streets of his own city and
sends his money to buy the industrie
of employed worlSmen in England.
Such are the tendencies of free trade
WhSe it cannot be classed as a hal
lucination or lunacy, they who believe
in il can be classed as un-American, as
unpatriotic and as deserving the con.
demnation of all the industrial people
of our great nation, for they lessen our
independence, they weaken our
progressive powers and paralyze our
public spirit.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
PIG AT A CANDY PULL.
6rrprSse of the Porker When He Dipped
His Nose In the Dish.


Pretty nearly everyone knows or
ought to know what an old-fashioned
''candy pull'' means. 1t used 20 beat
the "apple bees and such other coun-
try affairs away out of sight, and was
a much sweeter way of enjoying a win
ter evening, says the Hartford Courant.
1t CHANGED recently that a family in the
outskirts of the city thought they
would indulge the children in one of
these pastimes, and things were made
ready. 1t was just at the end of the
last snow, and when the molasses had
bsen boiled sufficiently and had been
tried" by dropping a few drops on
bit of snow, the dishful was placed on
the snow just outside the door, the
quicker TO cool off and be ready for
pulling. Some half-grown pigs had
been capering about the yard, likely to
keep warm, and one of them CHANGED
to come upon the dish of sweet stuff,
which by that time had become con-
siderably cooled off on the surface, 50
that when the fellows nose touched IL
it was not in the least uncomfortable.
The suppoSition is that, with his usual
avariciousness, the fellow plunged his
''snout' away down to the bottom of
the vessel Naturally he got pretty
warm reception when he hit the mid
die of the mess, and quite naturally.
too, he pulled-pulled for dear life.
The half-cooled caLdv stuck to him
lie leech, and with an audible grunt
he fled as best he might. The people
who were chatting within while the
cooling process was going on hurried
to the door just in time to see piggy
lighting out, candy and all, for free
dom. They gave chase, but they might
as well have tried TO catch a cyclone
The youngster finally run himself out,
SO to speak, the candy having mean
time cooled out sufficiently to make It
quite difficult matter to remove the
encumbrauce from the poor brute's
nose. 1t is understood that the "pull''
that was down for the evening was in
Hafntfal,r
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
" Col Zen Days.

The great tari.f reform orators have
given us maty word pictures of the
golden days that were to come To US
again. We imagine that these DAYS
are Sere. They are golden in the
sense of the disappearing vision of our
gold reserve. More gold has gone from
Us in the sixteen months of Mr.. Cleve-
lands administration than for a like
period at any time n the past twenty
years, hence tncsc days may be called
golden. IT .liget e proper, however,
10 subssi,u.. f. he term golden
de-s." : ,ldeD moments" as our gold
is ,u;y .sitt US NOR eutarily. That
which Is ours tong ut must go to-mor-
row morning 10 pay sSrne foreign oh
legation or purchase. Truly the golden
days of the present are very much like
The golden days O.. the past that live
only in the lae@cry of some of our
democratic statC-mcn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
AFTER A sEvES-DAYs' TRAMP.

crowd shook their heads, insisted that
| should ride, and began throwing
stones at a distance. Presently they
became holder and came or closer, and
one stone struck me on the leg.
Things were getting uncomfortable;
my wheel clogged up with mud and
ST Wv again and l could not get away.
Drawing my revolver, l fiourished it
about, but they only gave fiendish
yells and came closer. Dropping the
wheel in the snow, gave chase, and
fired three times in the air. The crowd
of thirty or forty ran as fast as their
legs could carry them. When l ro-
turned, / was only followed a short
distance by some of the holder ones,
who for a time did not venture
within stones throw. Two Surly
young Cinnamon grew holder and
followed closer and began throw
ing stones again. Suddenly / laid
the wheel down, and, with as hor-
rible a yell as / could produce,
rushed for them. They just gave one
look to make sure that | was coming,
then it was really laughable to see
how fast the big towards travelled,
although | am comparatively a small
man"
LEM experienced great difficulty in
keeping his hired coolies up to their
work. In referring to one of them, he
throws side light on that bane of the
Chinese, the opium traffic, as follows:
The opium fiend kept up his smok-
ing, which compelled me to watch him
constantly. / would go along with him
into the opium dens and not let him
smoke too much. For twenty cash,
or about cent and half, block cup
of opium is sold, which makes three
paste balls for smoking. The Chinese
at these dens were amazed at my
audacity and looked displeased at first,
but in n few minutes | would have
them laughing. They were much sur
prised that /, foreigner, did not
smoke opium. The Chinese women as
well as the men are frequenters of
these vile places. Some of the men were
pitiful-lool1ing beings, dirty and un-
washed for weeks, their clothing in
tatters, their once raven-black hair
fallen out, but, still, every cash they
get goes for this deadly drug. In every
hamlet or village, ever so remote, and
in road inns they sell opium. The
competition in opium dens is so great
that the price charged the opium
smokers is really low, considering the
high price paid by the proprietor buy
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
The HONOR OF REPueucAnlsM.
a Cause Whose Standard Reflects Nothing
Ruf Glory.

nut
81 have a right to express my opin-
ion, and the right in common with
every other human being, and l am
willing to give to every human being
the right that claim for myself. Re.
publicanism says that out upon the
great intellectual sea there is room
for every sail; republication says that
in the intellectual air there is room
enough for every wing. Republican.
ism means justice in politics. Repub-
licanism means progress in civilization.
Republication means that every mar
shall be an educated patriot and gen.
tleman. And / want to say to you to-
day that the republican party is the
best that ever existed. | want to say
to you to-day that it is an honor to be
long to it. 1t is an honor to have be-
longed TO il for twenty years; it is ar
honor to belong TO the party that elect
ed Abraham Lincoln president. And
let me say TO you that Lincoln was the
greatest, the best, the purest, the
lxindest man that has ever sat in the
presidential chair. 1t is an honor &c
belong to the republican party that
I
freemen: il is an honor 10 belong
to the party that broke IL. shackles
from four million of zlen. women
and children. 1t is an honor tc
belong to the party that declared
that bloodhounds were not the mis-
sionaries Of civilization. 1t is an honor
TO belong to the party that swore that
this is a nation forever, one and indi-
visible. 1t is an honor to belong to
the party that elected L. ). Grant
president of the United Stares. II is
AN honor TO belong to the party that
issued thousands and thousands of mil
lions of dollars in promises-that is
sued promises until they became as
thick as the withered leaves of win
ter; an honor to belong to the party
that issued them to put down rebel
lion; an honor to belong to the party
that put il down; an honor TO
belong to the party that had
! the moral courage and honesty
TO make every one of the prom
ises, made in war, in peace as good as
shining, glittering gold. And | tell
you that if there j. another life, and II
there is a day of Judgment, all you
need to say upon that solemn occasion
is: I was in life and in my death a
good. square republican. Col. Rob
ert q. Iugersoll.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
All tn. difference In the world.

sit would be much better, my dear
said the aristocratic mother with de
cision. IF you had less to do with Miss
Billings"
"Why. mamma? Isn't she a nice
girl2"
Il know nothing against her person
ally" replied the mother, but it is
just as well not TO be identified too
closely with shop keepers daughter.
We cannot be too careful in such mat
tiers. Mamie. if we are to maintain our
social position.
But you don't object to my associat-
ing with Miss Wilbur
THAT is very different matter"
Her father keeps the same kind OF
a store"
Not at all, Mamie; not at all Mr..
Wilbur has no retail department. while
Mr.. Billings has. You should think of
these things yourself, and not leave it
all to me- Judge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

( turned and called the crowd some
thing that made them furious. They
pounced upon him, one struck him
over the head, and a general fight
seemed likely to ensue. Quickly NOV
ing in front of my coolie and the
crowd, beckoned them TO keep quiet,
then ordered the coolies to pick up the
wheel and leave the town. followed
by their side, and managed to keep
the angry crowd off without using my
revolver,
Two of the nickeled hinges on my
valise had been twisted off; the thieves
had no doubt mistaken them for silver.
Almost distracted | pointed to the
empty tool pouch, but the following
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
peaf,,ess canDot he cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
thediseased portion of theear There is only
one way to cure Deafness, and that Is bycon-
stitutiOnal remedies. Deafness iscaused by
an inflaned condition of the mucous lining
of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube
gets inflamed you have arumbling sound or
imperfect hearing, and when IL is entirely
closed Deafness is the result, and unless the
inflammation can be taken out and thistube
restored toits normal condition, hearing will
be destroyed forever; nine cases out of ten
are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but
an infiamed condition of the mucous sur
faces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that
cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
Send for circJ. ars, free.
F. j. CHENEY & Co, Toledo, o.
- Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills, p cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
Order Your Dry Goods by Mall.

II you have a floor TO carpet. write to US
for samples. If you are in need of tasty
window draperies. we will surprise and en-
tighten you as to qualities and prices. IL
you want bargains in Silks, Dress Goods,
White Goods or Wash Goods, of the very
latest and newest styles, write to us for
samples, and compare our prices with other
houses. 1t will startle you, the amount of
money you can save by trading with US. IL
Illustrated catalogue mailed free. s. f. Oh
SON & CO.. Mammoth Dept Store, Mime
apolis, MINI.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
Those Dear Girls.

Gertrude-I hear that Mr.. Brush paid
rne very nice compliment TO day.
Carrie-Ies? What was il?
Gertrude-Why, he said that among
the most beautiful young ladies at the
dance was Miss Gertrude Crandall.
Carrie lcuttinglyl = Yes; | noticed
YOU among them. --Brooklyn Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
INFANT HANDS.

Fair beacon lights az dusky eve,
In cottage door and palace halls
They becEou man from busy marts-
Those Jimpled hands outstretched and
small
HercuIesu powers within them lie.
Wee finger tips with rosy palm;
One magic touch on cheek or brow
VIII quell an angry rising storm
Outlines they vanish from the sight
These darling hands more priced thar
gold.
Passive in death chill hand they lie
Like frozen lilies pure and cold
God saws. a little child shall Ieat"
And clear-eyed faith discerns affair
Those cleaning hands at close OF DAY
Are reckoning home through gates aiar.
Ellen Graham. in y. J. Observer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
His Life Work

oh said the lady lecturer. Il have
had such a delightful converse tion
with the gentleman you saw bow q
me a. we left the train. lie told me
that the emancipation of woman had
been his life work for ever 50 many
years" Yes" said the woman who
had come To meet her. that Is So lie
has been a divorce lawyer ever since
could remember. Indianapolis Jour.
nal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

git is suggested To the finance
committee OF the senate that il would
DC IN h@rIaony with the proceedings of
nent Ia the pending tariff bill in the
senate. Irsicad of i being a bill for
the collection of duties, etc. it might
read: 4 bill TO provide for advanced
Information IN options"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

A MISTAKEN lDEA-She was reading over
the column of marriage notices. ut can't
be true she said, ssthat marriage is a lot
terry" 'And why nOtl" asked the young
man with her. Because there is a law
against advertising lotteries, and look at
this" she replied, handing the paper 10 him.
Detroit Free Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

AT the door of every Chinese tenn
pie a bell is hung with rope attached.
When a worshiper enters he gives the
rope a jerk To ring the bell, 50 that the
deity of the place may be aware of the
fact that a yvorshiper is present
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

The good bark health, with the I'VE
mariner hope at the helm. is drifting on con-
cealed reefs If you are troubled with in
activity of the kidneys. ShiftyOur course by
The aid of Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, which
will pilot you into the harbor in safety, and
save you from Bright's disease, diabetes or
drOpsy. The Bitters checks malaria, rheu-
matism, dyspepsia and liver complaint.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

SALLY GAY-'What cunning little fell
low MIR. Callipers isr' Dolly Swift-''Cun-
ningf Why, he is dreadfully bOw-legged."
Sally Gay-t'Yes, but that gives him such
an arch look Won know Inter Ocean.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

''CAS man serve two mastersli' inquired
the pastor of the mild-eyed deacon. ''He
has to, sometimes - confessed the deacon.
Il think not you never had boy twins at
your house, did your inquired the deacon,
softly-Detroit Free Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

BARBER -"If my plan was adopted. there
would be no more bald heads.n Customer
81 hare tried a humber of preparations anu
they sre ali humbugs." MY idea can't
fail" what is itl' ''Wear a wig
Texas Siftings.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

Stop at HOTEL NICOLLET, the central, first
class hotel. with all modern conveniences.
Electric cars to all parts of city and to st.
Paul, pass the door. Rates, ~ 90, 81 so and
50. 90 per dav; suites of rooms with baths,
extra
ADVERTISING is a sovereign remedy for
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

THEY MUsT GLEAM.-Stage Manager
''What is delaying the performanceip
powder. and he swears he will not go on
without being properly made up."-Truth.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14

1t i not the situation which makes
the man. but the man who makes the
situation. The slave may be free
man. The monarch may be slave
Situations are noble OF ignoble. as We
make them.-F. w. Robertson
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1894-06-14
Do You Wish
the Finest Bread
and Cake?

1t is conceded that the Royal Baking Powder is
the purest and strongest of all the baking powders.
The purest baking powder makes the finest, sweet
est, most delicious food The strongest baking pow
der makes the ghtest food.
That baking powder which is both purest and
strongest makes the most digestibe and wholesome
food
Why should not every housekeeper avail herself
of the baking powder which will give her the best
food with the least trouble?
Avoid all baking powders sold with gift
or prize or at lower price than the Royal,
as they invariably contain alum lime sui
phuric acid and render the food unwholesome
Certain protection from alum baking powders can
be had by declining accept any substitute for the
Royal, which is absolutely pure