Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-09-13
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

= ne oNnct OF tie Nalkyrle is Dun-
raven.
-" Jason?' Why did You name your
dog that" Because he is always
searching for the tleece'-Life.
-''Doan brag,' said Uncle Even
Hit soun's too much like yoh was try
in ter bolster up yer own se'frespeck."
Washington Star
Although looked upon by the world
at-large as of no account. a fiat is of some
consequence in music, or as a source of
revenue to the landlord.
-NIistress-"And, pray. why do you
doctor has ordered my grenadier a more
generous. diet!'-Baseler Nachrichten.
Daughter (weeping)-"Oh, papa, to-
day enter already on my thirtieth year"
Father-"Calm yourself, my child-it
won't last long. Fliegende Blaetter.
-Wheelman (sententiouslyl 1.-THE BIZ
cycle is no longer toy" Ordinary Citi-
zen (earnestly)-"No, stree, it isn't. I've
been run into by one myself. New
York Weekly.
The proprietor of an East Water
street restaurant announces chi a card in
the window of his place of business: We
keep the best of everything What
must the patrons get!
Father (solemnly)-'"Th thrashing
is going to hurt me more than YOU, Ma
poieon.' Napoleon lsympathetically)-.
well, don't be tee hard on yourself,
dad; l amt worth it.'-Tid-Bts.
-She-''I don't believe you think half
so much of me as Tom Dinsley does. He
tells me he could die for me- He
CHATS nothing I love you well enough
to live with you" Boston Transcript.
-Joax--"You know Bagley fell off a
car yesterday and broke his jaw. His face
is al! bound up: went a up to see nm nm to-
His wife said he couldn't complain. =
Philadelphia Record.
Political VS.. Domestic Economy
Friend-"How is it yeh amt got that po-
sition yet? Lost yer pull?" Mr.. Warde
Heeler-"Oh, I've got the pull. plenty O
pull. My application is signed by all Their
political leaders in tn party" Then
wot's Their matter!' Cant get any of
EN- to go on me bond, Life,
-Wigvag why did you cal your
volume Of poems autumn Les, Leave 81
red ''-Philadeiphia Record.
"His exprcssions We're very objection
able" said the precise young woman. Il
think | shall have nothing more to do
with him" WHY" inquired her com,
panion. He writes me that he reached
home in good shape, That IS tnought,
ful on his part II know that. but good
shape is such bad form w ashliis toli
Star.
Professor (seeing the sign "Freshly
n,inted' over the zebra'S cage IN the 20
illogical garden)-"How very strange! l
could have sworn that those stripes were
natural "-Fliegende Blaetter.
-Anita-"Do you know | like appear
ing in the living pictures better IMAM any
N.Why is that?' Anita--"We, don't
have to have any dress rehearsals, you
know. South Boston News.
What did you do when ne pro.
nosed >, Il lost my self-possesslon at
once. Truth.
--Dyspeptic Lady-"Doctor, do you
think oysters are unhealthy: Doctor
NO. madam-at least nave iiot se'
| treated any.'-Truth.
One of the funniest things at the
stores is the sweet smile woman gives
= man when she wants him to sell her
Something below cost.-Atchison Globe
The Wife-.Yes, I married you to
sn;te Fred Grigson" The Husband true
fullyl-.I wish, my love. you had mar M;
ried Fred Grigson to spite me- = III
Bits. Sc,
-Herdso- why didn't you 9 defend
| vour wife's suit for divorce! Saldso-
IT had known for years that what she
sa;d "''N was law."-St Louis Post-Dis-
patch. -;u.oo, Soon
- toll mo where the station is Tor
ffer-..I can. but won't, We are glad to
have a tourist here at last. '-fIlegende
| Blaetter.
-Summitt-.'Niss Gayley seems thor,
oughly imbued with the ldea tnae a aou uhn
h M,a three u, or four small brothers. "-Buffa-
Wife-"And did Mr.. Gay really say
was positively dove-like? husband . Id,
asnmething of that sort. lie ;, sad you
we're pigeon-toed, l believe. boston
| Transcript. -, s,a1
EFF I give yon your ainhe .bo " anep
Nj. mh;la.'. Nav" said Dismal
I Dowson. T amt no crank agitator. =
| Cincinnati Tribune.
Mrs. hyperion Ito conductor OF the