The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1894-10-07
ELIJAH AND THE YOUNG MAN.

-fittNholi W a. W 10 plCsChb anu
address the club Christmas eve, $50 B.
c., but his remarks were not taken
down. 1t is said, however, that, as he
was the guest of the evening, he had a
right to and appropriated the only joke
then in use. 1t was joke afterward
ascribed to Jerrold-viz, that a man
ought to regard his wife as bank note,
and when she reached 40 he should be
able to change her for two twenties.
Philip Of Macedon regretted that he
could not become a member Of the club
but made it beautiful present and ask
ed that its good things be neatly bound
in book form, containing all the good
sayings of the club. Imagine his surprise
when he received booklet containing
the above joke only-a book which, in
the language of Sol Smith Russell. twas
bound in calf, with the tale on the in
side.
l regret that more has not been said
regarding the doings of this club, the
first known in history of a social char
acter. The historian now and then gives
Us fragmentary glimpse of an evanes-
cent Scotch joke perpetrated by Lucian
and Athenaus, but it is not an able joke
and mostly has to be fed with a spoon
on lactated food several weeks before it
can sit up and take notice.
Archimedes was a very serious man
generally, but was during his lifetime
the author of one little bonmot He
was extremely absentminded-in fact,
he resembled Edison in this way. Once
he made discovery of great value to
science while in his bath, and with
wild yell of ''Eurekal EurekaP he
dashed out upon the street and started
for the courthouse to record it. When
he caught Sixteenth street car and felt
for his change, he found that he had
forgotten his purse, also his pocket. also
his pantaloons, and when the conductor
told him to ''shove up closter" he was
panied to notice that. aside from a dark
blue indigo anchor tattooed on his fore
arm, ne had left most everything in the
bathroom
This incident will be remembered by
the student of ancient history, trust.
Archimedes was philosopher and in
vented things, stuffed wild animals
when he would rather have stalled him
self, and ran Of errands for the king
King Hero had IL crown made for
himself, it seems, with view to wear
ing it on Fourths of July and Decoration
days, but he suspected. after he had tried
it on, that it was adulterated, and so ne
took it TO Archimedes, who was at the
time sharpening the royal shears and
carving knife out at the woodhouse.
Here, Archie, says the king, this
here crown upon my foreward is no
good See? 1t makes dark green streak
on me foreward when I'm reigning.
Now, the whole job Archie, is rotten,
and | want you TO discover what's the
matter with it and then pick a mess OF
string beans for her majesty right
away"
Archimedes had not bathed for some
time. and SC, with this problem in his
mind, he hang his toga ON a nail, and
filling the bathtub full he found that by
stepping on cake Of soap and falling
into il he displaced a volume Of water
equal 10 his own weight, and from that
specific gravity and some more things
like that wsre discovered. by means Of
which Archimedes learned that the
crown was indeed adulterated- and the
jeweler was cast into prison. where he
had good chance TO regret his past life
Archimedes was then made philoso-
pher overseer Of highways and superin-
tendent Of schools At 10 scudi Der month
and In lndry. Ills gwen name, 1 regret
70 say, was torn OF and swallowed CD in
oblivion. but he was never stumped in
figures and could parse a sentence or
play checkers with any man III Syracuse
He was the author ~ the term eureka.
which * now SO cHlmou- being applied
20 suspenGers. bang powder. insect
eide and stomach birfers
Little did ArchimeS;sS wot. when be
exclaimed eureka, even though he was
the eureka wotJer ~ MS time. that one
day this term would be- - general and
50 much affected by squash vines and
steam laundTies. It Is said that xhea