The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1894-08-26
REICNING AUTOCRATS.
The Story Of the Mighty People Of an
American Hamlet.

They Were Not the Rich, Nor Yet the
Politicians With a Long, Strong
Pull but the Ticket Agent of he
Something-or-Other Air Lin, the
Peppermint MunchIng Postmaster,
the Absent-When-Wa ante Druggi u,
the Old Lady Of the Thread and
Needle Shop-"A Little World is a
Funny one'-Postal Trials and Bah
bling Brooks.
In Country Village, Aug. 29.-There
is one thing we are spared in large cities,
and that is the rule of the autOcrat 1t is
true we may be under the government of
large corporations, but this does not ex-
tend 10 individuals, and whatever may be
the weaknesses of those enormous bodies
without souls, they do not at least sass
back" Among the autocrats in the vii
lage may, first of all, be counted the
ticket agent. In appearance he is a com
bination of monkey and bear, without
the clever look of one or the genial in
clination of the other. His fore
head is like the monkeys,
his bearded face gives one the i'm
preston of the bear, while his little eyes
suggest the ferret. At this small station,
which is scarcely recognized on the big
railroad maps, he is king He snubs wo-
men and children, refuses to be ordinarily
civil, and declines to sell tickets if he has
to put himself to the trouble of getting
any change, altogether he is calculated TO
cause murders to grow like weeds, and it
would never surprise me to hear that
somebody had attached the telegraph
wire to his heels and make him hasten
| for once in his life toward a death by
| electrocutlon.
VERY GENIAL YOUNG MAN.
Next to him in the government of hui
nanity comes the postmaster He is a
genial young man given to eating pepper
| mint candy. There may be people who
like the smell of peppermint l am told
that there are. 1t is said that it is
healthy, but so is witchhazel. And yet
one would scarcely like to use that as a
personal perfume. Going to the postotfice
is conducted little after this fashion:
After you enter you poke your head
through little hole and inquire if there
are any letters. Between bites of his
candy and extreme efforts on his
! part to give you whiffs of it, he draws
out: "Well-no there amt no letters for
you-you had three this morning, but you
might as well take the papers home with
you now, for they have been piling up for
a week, and they're getting in the way"
You gaze at him with horror, and ask
him how he dared to keep the papers all
that time, and he calmly answers:
well, every time you come in here you
said letters, and never mentioned papers,
and l thought I'd like to look at the New
York ones"
us THIS YERE FOR YoU?"
You linger and wish for a messenger
boy, to whom you would pay double rates
if he would swear Systematically for an
hour. Then you start to go home. Be
fore YOU are out of the door, the post
master calls you back and asks: as this
yere for youl" You look at it with hor-
ror it is letter you have been expecting
for week. You ask why it wasn't sent
up, and his excuse is there was eX-
ira postage on It, and he was waiting un-
til he saw you about the two cents. That
is the sort of postmaster civil service and
local option has produced.
Then comes the druggist. The one
thing to be said in mis- favor is that he is
young, and has just opened the shop One
side is given over to soda water; have
never seen anybody drink it, and I feel
sure that its effects are dire and deadly.
The other side is occupied by fly paper,
and this so thickly settled, that one
wonders where all the flies came
from that went down The sopranos
throat last Sunday, when she sang the
solo. Then there are some patent medi-
cines, some tooth brushes, and a few Jars
of mysterious powders, that may have
some use in the drug stores, but which
only brighten one to look upon them. The
only time l have found the shop open was
when went to buy some lavender water
which he didn't have (meaning the drug
gist). Since then, when the toothache or
earache ragged, and medicine was sought,
there have been faint little
SIGNS PASTED ON THE DOOR
announcing that the druggist had gone to
supper, gone to see the baseball game, or
else, without giving any excuse, simply
letting US know that he wouldn't be back
for two hours. Two nights ago quite a
| large notice decorated the door The
baby had boil on its forehead, and we
had gone to get some salve for it; but we
| knew that there was no chance for this
when we read the notice. 1t was 10 this
effect: Have gone TO get married won't
be back until tomorrow morning"
Then there is the old lady who keeps
the thread and needle shop and sells
few speckled-looking candies as well as
few medicines made of herbs / am
perfectly convinced that if [ went in
there at o'clock in the morning, she
could tell me what l had mad for nv
breakfast. She says she thinks it is
soclaole 10 know ABOUT people, because
il gives you something to talk about.
And this is the way she talks: Good
morning Miss Mary, now I'm a good bit
older woman than you are, and if |
was IN your place l wouldn't be out in a
buggy until nearly IL O'Clock with a
young man; it don't look well. Many a
girl can trace all the trouble of her life
from such carvings on. They tell me
they are going to have fair This is
what got to say.about it: The Episco-
pal basket come here the other day, and
it struck me that it was mighty poor
work. l don't know why it is. but when
it comes to sewing it always seems to me
as if the Presbyterians
SEW sTRAIGHTER FOR THE LORD,
and bring their stitches closer together
Miss Mary, you look mighty sallow. For
my part, If was a young man, / would
never take up with girl that was sallow
You get married to her, and she is sick
and whining pretty much all the time
and her babies are just as likely TO look
like niggers. / could sell you some Of this
herb tea, which might do you some good
but you have let it go so long that don't
think IL would have any effect upon YOU
Good morning, Miss Betty; hear that
you were talking about blue blood yester-
day up TO Miss Gordon's. You ought to
be a Judge of it your father was a butcher