St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1894-02-03
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
aJESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
AT the ZoO-ln the Dime Museum
Too Actfve-His Preference-The
Ruling Passion, Etc, Etc.

AT THE 700.
Elephant (scvcrely) - Look here,
Humpy. When are you going to return
that hay you borrowed from me last
week?
Dromedary-- Don't get impatient,
Bolivar; intend to repay you Just as
soon as I get Strengthened out. Puck
IN THE DIME MUSEUM.
''Who is that freak of greatest note,
Whose posing gran,ly therc:'
"That, sir's, the man who never wrote
A poem on the Fair"
-[Atanta Constitution.
THE RULING PASSION.
He loved the winsome lass with a love
none the less ardent because she was a
clerk in q dry-goods store, and he had
met her there behind the counter when
he had come in to make purchases.
But she was no ordinary girl, and he
knew that, if he won her as his own, it
would be no easy conquest.
For weeks and weeks he had been
to see her, end for weeks he had hesita-
ted on the brink of proposal, which in
volved all his happiness.
Yet the girl did not seem to realize
how near she was to him, nor that any
moment might precipitate the final
question.
However, these things cannot continue
forever, and one Sunday afternoon as
they were walking his voice became low
and tremulous, and she looked up shyly
into his face.
''Christine," he whispered, "may l
ask you question?'
"Certainl y, George" she assented
frankly, "What is it?'
"Will you be my wife,"
She turned as if shelf were behind
her.
'Tm very sorry" she said softly. 'Is
there anything else to-day!'
TOO ACTIVE.
The boy came into wholesale store
on Larned street and looked around
minute.
"What is it," inquired the proprietor.
81 want job" said the boy prompt
ly.
"What can you do2"
VII, 1 GOu KNOW. Az lIlC ldSC pldCC
I was | done SO many things that the
boss bounced me the first week" And
the boy stood with his hands in his
pockets waiting. = Detroit Free Press.
HIS PREFERENCE.
He was selling her dry goods.
1t was evident that her naughty, dis
tant manner cut him to the quick.
"Excuse me, Miss he said, as he
stopped in the middle of a measurement
of cloth, "but aren't you the young lady
who promised to be sister to me at
Cape May"
ut may be that am,' she answered,
81 wish you would take back that
PROMISE"
"WhyW
"Because I'd rather be a total strang
er than poor relation any day. "--
Washington Star.
WANTED SOMETHING SUBSTANTIAL.
Mr.. Cutie leaving the theatre with
his wife -That play has given you some
food for reflection.
Mrs. Cutie Gas they pass a restaurant)-
Hem! My appetite does not reflect,
dearest. -Chicago Record.
NOT SELLING THAT KIND.
Guest-Landlord, you may bring me
a sirloin steak. Let it be fresh and juicy,
broiled half through, but not too rare,
very tender, and be sure that you use
real fresh butter
Landlord-Why, if I had such fine
thing as that, sir, I'd eat it myself
[Fiegende Bloetter.
IT'S LUCKY SHE ISN'T COMING.
"Did you get the new servant girl
you went to inquire about" said the
caller.
eyes"
as she coming"
"No; she doesn't think my husbands
salary is sufficient to support her in the
style TO which she has been accustomed"
- Washington Star.
BEHIND CHoLLY's BACK.
"Cholly inherited good deal of money
from his parents.
eyes. But not much in the way of
brains.''
''That's true. They left him all dol
lars and no sense. y Washington Star.
AN EXACT OFFICE BOY
Visitor entering outer office)-Is Mr..
Jones at home?
Office boy (politely)-Yes sir.
Visitor-Can | see him?
o. B.-I suppose 80, sir.
Visitor Starting for inner office)-
Where? In here?
O. B. Gnnocently)-No, sir; his home
is ut Hamtramck. II Detroit Free Press.
THE SENSIBLE COURSE.
Teacher-What is the meaning of one
twenty fifth?
Little Boy-I--I don't remember.
Teacher-If you had twenty five chill
dren visiting you, and only one apple
for them. what would you do?
Little Boy-Id wait till they went
an then eat it myself. -[Good News.
She is the brown-eyed girl who works
n the telephone exchange, and he is the
young man who is sometimes moro ener-
getio than courteous.
"Helio, Central" he called the other
day, "this is the second time | have
called you. Have you been asleep"
Eyes" she answered sweetly, 81 have,
and had such a strange dream. thought |
heard voice from the Internal regions
and awoke just in time to hear you call
ing, What numberp y Washington |
Star.
AS HE TAKES TT.
Wall Streete- It's the old saving.