The Press., 1894-01-04
THE GIRLS SETTLE THE OUES-
 TONS.

Lulu-What are hard times, Eloise?
 Eloise-When it is next to impossible to get anything out of your father Lulu don't see what is the use, then, of ail this talk about silver and the tariff Why, it is always "tight money mar ket'' at our house Papa is growing posi- lively stingy.
 Eloise-Yes, but you know, my dear, there has 10 be something brought up every now and then to amuse the men that don't care for foot ball.
 Lulu-To be sure, but what is the tar if anyway, Eloise?
 Eloise-Well, it's a sort of thing that MT. Cleveland either wants or doesn't want.
 ~Lulu-lt is too odd the way you under stand all those dry matters. The very idea of mems saying that women are not statesmen. I really think if you should publish book of practical politics it would have large sale in England. The British don't know the first thing about our government
 Eloise-1 am too sick of the subject to do anything like that Just think how tiresome Liliuokalani has become.
 Lula-Isnt that patent medicicine?
 Eloise-No, indeed It is woman that came to Washington last spring some time and wanted to be made queen. Of course the president wouldn't hear to that, hp inst l. nI off tN hn ob Islands for her impudence.
 Lulu-It was good enough for her. I don't believe there is a person in this country who really wants a queen. But who pulled down the stars and stripes-I seem to have heard something about that
 Eloise-That is the dramatic part. No body was allowed to. Some negroes did try, but Liliuokalani interferred; "Shoot if you must this old gray head, but spare your country's flag" she said. Don't you remember?
 Lulu do believe recollect that.
 Eloise-Congress was so pleased with her patriotism that they made her queen of Hawaii.
 Lulu-Isn't it grand ? Just like novel. Why don't you write it up, Eloise?
 Eloise-Oh, I have. Dorothy Travers and are dramatizing it now. It would be more romantic, though, if the presi- dent weren't married
 Lulu have come to the conclusion, my dear, that the married man is always superfiuous. It seems as though prosy husbands and fathers didn't really belong to the same sex as the great lovely foot ball boys
 Eloise : Of course, can see the practi- cal advantage of mothers, for one often needs them for chaperons, But if any body can explain what use father is in a family would be greatly obliged.
 Lulu-Aren't they rather necessary for banking purposes?
 Eloise-Not at all. Women make too much fuss about that. All you have to do when you want money is to go to your bank. There you will sec q quantity of grating. Then you must hand the man behind one of the holes a slip of paper With your name written on it. He gives you as much as you want.
 Lulu-How simple everything is made for one nowadays. .-Neo York Recordeg.
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 Springfield Union: Wisconsin tobacco growers are asking if the Connecticut valley product has monopolized the en- tire demand for Raleigh's soothing weed. Last year seventeen counties in that west ern state raised and disposed of 29, ,2f9 ,544 pounds, but the business this year has come to stand, and it is curious to note that the growers attribute the failure of the market, not to prospective tariff chan ges, but to the great popularity of the Connecticut valley leaf. This belief has led some dealers to ship Wisconsin to- baeco under Connecticut labels, fraud which is said to have a favorable effect upon the price obtained. Herein lies n substantial compliment to the quality of our New England tobacco, but our grow CTS would doubtless be willing to part with the fiattery for the sake of keeping their market free of Western counter feits.
 At their recent meeting in Topeka, the Kansas sheriffs discussed the plague of tramps from which the state is now suf- fering. One or two populist sheriffs pro- fessed to believe that Governor Lewell- ings recent remarkable blast against the bull pen and the lock pile had nothing to dA with if h11t fbnrr