West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-02-01
TuE BRAKEMAN AT CHURCH.
His Views on the piRcrcnt Denomi
nations.

N"'' SD'. hObtkl y. BlRDk1TE.
To mo cana the brakeman. ani
seating himself on the arm OF the
seat, says:
81 went to church Yesterday
eyes 20 said, with that inter-
ested infection that asked for moro.
Aud what church did you attend?"
(which do you guess ?" he
asked.
"Some union mission church ?''
| hazarded.
NO." he said, 81 don't like TO
run OH these branch roads very
much. | don't often go to church
and when | do | want to run on
the main line, where your run is
regular and you go on schedule
time, and don't have to wait on
connections. / don't like to run
on branch. Good enough, but
hou Inc III.
Episcopal ?" guessed.
"Limited express" he said. call
palace cars, and two dollars extra
for seat, fast time, and only stop
at the big stations. Nice line, but
too exhaustive fof q brakeman.
All train men in uniform, conduc-
tors punch aud lantern silver
plated, aud no train boys allowed.
Then the passengers are allowed to
talk back to the conductor, and It
makes them too free and easy. No,
] couldn't stand the palacc cars.
Rich road, though. Don't often
hear of a receiver being appointed
for that line. Some mighty nice
people travel on it, too"
"UnIversalist ?" | suggested.
"Broad guage," said the brake
man, "does too much complimen.
tary business. Everybody travels
on "A pass. Conductor doesn't get
a fare once in fifty miles. Stops
at all flag stations and won't run
into anything but a union depot.
No smoking car on the train.
Train orders are rather vague,
though, and the trainmen don't get
along we'll with the passengers.
No, | don't go to the UnlversaIist
though | know some awfully good
men who run on that road.
"Presbyteriap ?" asked.
Marrow gauge, ch ~ said the
brakeman, "pretty track, straight
as a rulo; tunnel right through a
mountain rather than go around it.;
spirit-level grade ; passengers have
TO show their tickets before they
get on the train. Mighty strict
road, but the cars are little mar.
row have TO sit one in \ scat and
no room in tho aisle TO dance.
Then there is no stop over tickets
allowed; got to go straight through
TO the station you're tIcketed for,
or you can't get on at all. When
the cars full, no extra coaches ;
cars are built at the shop to hold
just 80 many, and nobody else
allowed on. But you don't often
hear Of an accident OF that road
It's run right up to the rules"
Maybe yon joined the Free.
Thinkers ?" ! said.
"Scrub road" said the brake
man, "dirt road and no ballast, no
time card and no tram dispatcher.
All trains run wild, and every engi.
neer makes bis own time, just as he
pleases. Smoke II you want to ;
kind OF go as-you- please road. Too
many side tracks, and every switch
wide opeH all the time, with the
switchmap sound asleep and the
target. lamp dead out. Get on ~
you please and OF when you wan
to. Don't have to show your
tickets and the conductor isn't ex.
pected to do anything but amuse
the passengers. No, SIR, vas
offered pass, but / don't like the
Inc. | don't like to travel ON q
road that has no terminus. DO
you know, sir, asked a division
superintendent where that road run
70, and he said he hoped to die If
be knew. asked bin il tho gen
eral superintendent could tell me.
and he didn't believe they had a
general superintendent. and # they
had, he didn't know anything more