Marshall County independent. (Plymouth, Marshall County, Ind.) 1894-1895, 1894-12-07
WILDER WITH THE WITS.
He Heard Ali the Drolleries Of
Cleveland, Harrison and Depew.
How Great Men Make Fun-The Merry
Little Man Writes AbOnt the Amen
tiles of the Wine and Wal
nut Period.
lCOPYRIGET. fGat.l

such things-aS dinners.
During the day aftcr-dinner speakers
make their livings with their heads,
at night they make speeches with their
| hearts.
At big dinners you get souls set to
Dvorak symphonies. The Utmost me"
percolates through the diaphragm of
the daywCrker and drops out at the
joint of the tongue-word by word.
The smoke of the work-a-day world
breaks up and scatters and disappears
in breeze OF bon mots.
Imagine Chauncey NJ. Depew. presi-
dent of the New York Central rail
road cracking jokes. even in his mind,
during business hours. He dare not
They would pop like torpcdocs all
along the track and result finally in
n general wreck from end to end of the
Vanderbilt system.
No; President Depcw thinks no tribes
during hours" If he do, Col Duval
smothers them in committee, and they
die a deserved death.
Bat, OH, what u difference in the
evening.
Dr. Depew then pulls down the blind
on President Depew and gives Chauncey
chance. Thus at dinners, he comes
to be Our Chauncey."
Gen. Horace Porter has wit, humor,
memory. but he lacks the magnetism
and go of "Chauncey."
DR.. Depew's great power lies in his
power for trotting up the right word
at the winning time, as when at late
hour one evening he compared himself
to the channels because he found him
self continually going from jag to jag.
OF all dinners, those of the Clover
club stand unique for sparkle 1t is
hard to describe 4 Clover club dinner
might as well try to bottle up cleo
tricity. The company is n group of
guyers. Moses z. Handy, former
president of the club-the gentleman
who gave publicity to the worlds fair
is a prince of guycrs. BY the by, he
is the best dinner chairman | ever met.
One night at the Glover club in Phil
adelphia Handy arose, with Senator
Jones, of Nevada. sitting near. and
af.er having graphically outlined the
attractive personality of that silver
magnate by way of introduction,
noticed even that veteran of the upper
house squirming and reddening in his
seat. knowing well the guy guns that
would be turned upon him as soon as
he got upon his pins. He was visibly
affected for the worse. but not
more SO than another gentleman, for
no sooner had Handy worked the sen
ator up almost to the starting point
than lie said Notwithstanding such
seductive talent within reach. we can
peg a hole higher by calling upon
Col. Thomas Ochiltree, of Earth, who
will now address YOU 1t is needless
to say that both gentlemen looked as
If they had just been shot ont by mis-
take from Zalinslli's dynamite gun on
the Nictheroy and missed the mark.
And it came to pass in that time that
the said Ochltree had had his leg
broken by the Pennsylvania railroad.
He was suing the railroad because his
leg was brolen-or he was brol.e-onc
or the other. The officials all knew OF
this, and yet loved him. One OF these
Officials was present. Col. Ochiltree
had been using crutchcs in order to
keep the leg from healing while the
suit was in progress. Bot it was foully
suspected that lie was merely doing the
litigative limb. For one day, on see
ing some pretty young lady friends
across Chestnut street, he dropped his
crutches, twas said, and went with n
skip to greet them. When the colonel
was called upon, the Pennsylvania Off
Gals remarked: Colonel, where are
your crutches?"
Under the table. where you will be
before the dinner is over" and the
colonel against a goose-egg for the
Pennsylvania potentate.
Among the gentlemen at that dinner
were Charles Emory Smith, Gen. Ma
gargee. Gov. Bum. +. Burd Grubb, Ed
win 5. Stuart, John Russell Young, c.
II. Deacon, A. II. Mcclure, James II.
Heverin, Henry III. Bingham. Clay ton
McMichael, William NJ. Singerly, Franl.
Thomson, Albert G.. Hctherington. j.
William White and scores Of famous
guests from outside of Philadelphia.
Col. Ingersoll came in late, when
Gov. Bum. catching sight of him. ex-
| Clul.iCu III Vic vi tlC oSNoid tCei
and delicious surroundings: 'Ah, colo
mel, this is heaven, no place for you
here"
The colonel blushcd up to where the
roots of his hair ought to be, and
was conspicuous for his silence, wheth-
err it was because he felt out of place in
heaven, l don't know. He may go
there yet in spite of himself.
Mr.. Cleveland, also. was there. The
guy was put out on him, but Mr. Clevc-
land was on his Inettle and made one
of the best speeches of HIS life.
Col. Cockerill came up for his share.
But the colonel has been everything
from drummer-boy III Sherman's army
to editor in New York city, and, with
all his modesty. is match even for
Handy.
Col. Coclierill is a dark horse for De-
pew's place as dinner speaker should
Depew go first. But evidently the
doctor is not anticipating any such
thing. For at press club dinner
given to Cocl<erill five years ago DIR.
Depew said in closing his remarks: Il
1 rN~,