Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1894-03-23

A-What IL the extreme psnAlty for big
amyf B-Two mothers-in- lAw.-Life.
"Down brakesln cried the railroad mans
wife ~ the dinner platter slIppsd from her
grasp.-Lowe1 Courier.
A tea-kettls can sing when ID Ia merely
nlled with water. But man, proud man,
10 no a-kettle.-Siftings.
The reformed thief says lbs easy enough
70 PICK pockets after you once get your
hand in.-Philadslphis Record.
The slow movements of the average fat
man rather tend to contradict the theory
that haste makes waist.-Buffalo Courier
Nsll-what are you readgngf Beile-"A
Model Man" It's dresdfully stupid.
Nell-Yes; they usually ars.-Philadslphia
Record.
What 10 frlendi A friend 10 the man
who points out silver lining In the cloud
70 avoid lending you an umbrella.
Courier.
Mr.. Flash-was your sister expecting
me this EVENING" Yes; Iguess so." Did
went to the opera with Mr.. Jones. Chi
cago IAtsr-O
"Jimmie, where did You get that six-
pence fromi' 'Ifs the money you gave me
AeA tae hcetuoub linen why QlQ
you keep IN" i'Ny teacher said / was q
heathen."-Tid-B Bits.
Taking q Mean Advantage.-"what do
you do when your wife gets at you for
coming home late Z" asked the frst deaf and
dumb man. Turn out the gas" re-
sponded the o.her.-Lits.
Johnny-Pop, what is this AppIan Way
there's 80 much about In this bookl Mr..
RaaA lshn Ia a. A. d. a.. D.. l.
ostiop)-H'm, It's "when in Rome do as
the Romans do" 1 suppos.i-Pack.
"Do you know" remarked Barton at the
club, THAT Trotter is suoh an ardent
sportsman that when the game laws are In
force In the spring he smuses btmseh with
going houss-bunting. ."-Harper's BszSr.
''Is the mistress of the house int In
quired the peddler. "No." replied the
Tired looking. timid woman who had gone
to the kitcfed door TO snsxer the knock
"IPs her afternoon out."-Chicago Trib.
une.
"You shouldn't be hard on the poets, ~
said the sentimental man. "You know
they learn In suffering what they teach IN
song" YES" replied the sonlless citizen;
.'and 30 do the public. o."-Wsshington
Star.
Ragged Richard Qnsinuatingly)-Say
mister, have yer got emmy suggestions ter
make ter fellsr wat ain't able ter raise
CT dime ter git shaved withi Grumpie
(passing on)-Yes; raise whiskers-Buffa-
10 Courier.
Madame discovers Bsptiste In the kiSSs-
en- In the act Of 9ulpipg down q good
draught of wins. "Don't sco!d me, mad
sme, I'm taking this To pull me round I've
had such q shock, for q minute ago /
smashed that Japan vas you thought 90
much ofi"-Ls Figaro.
First Reporter-Yes, I resigned my DO.
sition. The last assignment was TO much
for me. Second Rsporter-Wha. did they
want you to dot First Rsporter-Wsnted
me to get myself SAINT to Sing Sing for fve
years, in order to furnish daily reports on
John Y. AcKane.-Puck.
Employer Ito olerk)- hear you've Just
got married, Bnnkle, aud rm snre you
can't support Q wife on the salary yon'rs
receiving. Clerk uoyfnIly expecting .
rise)-No, sir, don't See how l can. En-
ployer-Just what thought, so you'd bet
ter rlssve.-Brooklyn Life.
A Man of Zsal.-FThs weather is 90 bad,
Brother Gibbons. ;" said one of the pillars Of
the church, "that We can't ex pect an Eu A.
enee this evening""
fighter. rose to his feet and looked over his
small but faithful congregation.
"Pm not In business for the gate money
these days, brethren" he said, taking his
place In the pulpit. There's nearly q
dozen of us here and we'll pull of the ser
mon snyhow."-Chicago Tribune.