Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-04-13
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

ability.
You can always tickle girl with a
feather, if it happens to be an ostrich
feather. Puck.
There is not faith enough in this
world to go around and never was
Galveston News.
The woman who is vain of her
beauty is as wise as the man who is
vain of his brains. Puck.
The man who is always on the go,
generally doesn't know how to stop
when he gets there. Puck.
When a girl goes visiting she re-
turns home as soon as she has worn all
her dresses--Atchison Globe.
Many man who would like to re-
form the world has q front gate that
won't stay shut. Ram Horn.
Borrows-''H Have you any spare
funds?" Lenddes (curtly) my funds
are all spare. Chicago Record.
Nothing succeeds like Distress
remarked the beggar, as he counted
his coin at the end of the day.
Little grains of wisdom,
Little bits OF sense,
Have n way of making -
Cupid less intense
Detroit Free Press.
The battleship does we'll enough ut
long range, but when she comes on n
reef, then comes the tug. Boston
Transcript.
A good many boys have turned ont
badly, because they had fathers who
made them work with dull hoe. -
Rams Horn
There's lesson to be learned from
the pin, my son. 1t is given head
that it may not go too far. Boston
Transcript.
The man who discovered that the
darkest hour is Just before the dawn,
must have been making a night of it.
Philadelphia Life.
Teacher-'In the sentence, Time
is money, can you parse money!"
Scholar-''Yes'm, if it is good money"
Detroit Free Press.
Polite Gentleman lin street car)-
Take my seat, madame Lady
"Never mind, thank you. | get out
here, too. New York Weekly.
That woman the weaker vessel is
Full many doubt he hath,
Who feels the weighty contents OF
The yials Of her wrath.
Puck
In Iceland whistling is regarded as
n violation of the divine law. In most
countries, however, it is regarded only
as confounded nuisance. Boston
Transcript.
Criticus I'D be ashamed to write
such stuff as you write" Authors
"Of course. you would. Everybody
would say it was plagiarized Chi.
cago Record.
Minnie Don't you think our
modern styles are just horrid? do.
Mamie lis that the reason You are
still wearing your last years bon
net indianapolis Journal
The era OF excessive and cruel pun.
ishment has not yet wholly passed
away. 4 Socialist agitator was sen.
fenced TO hard labor in Germany the
other day. --Courier-Journal.
Westerly tell YOU there's elec-
tricity in the air out West. You cant
get the Chicago atmosphere in New
York. Hudson Yes, you eau.
Walk just behind garbage cart -
Kate Fields Washington.
Mrs Van Asthelt -'I suppose Won
take lively interest ia the politics of
your country, Lori Saxonorme?"
Lord Ssxonorme with PRIDE -"Oh,
dear, NO. I'm member oi the House
oi Lords, y know. Chicago Rec
ord
Clara Going la fur charity again.
are you What IS u lhis 'ims7' Dora
I've are going 10 distribute cheap
copies IT Reethov.n's Symphonies
among the poor Music l. such sn aij
to digestion. YOU know. ' New York
Weekly.
Master texeminlag papiis Ia geog
raphy What Is the name a this
town. Pupil "btrmins ham Nts,
TOT What h. 30 noted ior9 Pupil
Firearms Master "What are ire.
arms iupil Poker. haFri anl
tnnau ia thta
i,entinl lags ~ hai leeasas u
prtvf Mrar, William Hahas lns hi.
head "nou asa me. ias-f. Hos
gone g. thr ba ssstul Has ''iu
mil, "a Weary William "a Natsa
tasn that Hrt sofaiu gee lar m .
taetoFy hate rields wa AsagtaA
Fret Yaang lais ia, yau alvay.
uuY tse ktals ef paperf' aseoni
Nuans t.aaY "AisnFa Nnu wss wtrn