The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1894-12-17

ner parties that were indulged in
when one should have been study
ing grammar one always imagined
oueself conversing with the airy
blonde and Witty vii iherones or or preserving aad
one of those coldly fascinating silences
that in novels always prove so irresisti-
bic to the very best pdrti in the book
And, now, 10 and behold if one of those
proud silences is indulged in. ones part
ner promptly excuses himself and never
comes back for another dance the whole
evening, and an attempt at airy badin-
head in the cold gray light of the morn
ing after the ball and squirming in re-,
pentant anguish at the silly, ,vapid sound
that persIf1age has repeated to ones self
at this uncheerful hour.
There once was "a girl who carried the
story OF this particular form Of wretch
though she mad the finest bay in the
world, could yet remember with perfect
ease her own debut four years before.
Yes. indeed" said the friend. cheer
fully. 81 remeber quite well all the silly
and felt / could never look the people
WHO had listened to them in the face
again. But III tell you VIVA things INA
would sound fearfully silly in "a person OF
my age, married and with "a bay and all.
are just thought to be5 deliciously limo
cent and girIish in a debutante. Pink
Cheeks and dinples carry off SO much.
After all, one must learn to talk, and
practice is the only way to learn. one
must make mistakes at first: you viii,
improve every day; don't let yourself be
discouraged: your plumbers don't sound
half as bad to others as they DO TO you.
After which that debutante went away
comforted.
te is going to be confronted with, and
that's the secret of what makes popular
ity. She sees that pretty girls and clever
girls and rich girls all have excellent.
those with all these things in their favor
don't invariably make a success, while
occasionally girls who aren't really pref
ty, not witty at all, nor rich either, come
in and make "a tremendous success of 1t
right over the heads of girls withs the
qualities they lack. She wants to know
why that is. Well, the best way to find
out is to ask one of the men who dance
she will say yes during the evening.
What do you see in Mary jones'" you
say. Shes not pretty and she's not
very clever
Then the young man will look at you
as if he supected you were not only bad
tempered, but a. little jealous of Mary as
Well and answer: oh, she's not beau
tive looking girl, don't you think SO? ana
then she's such a good sort"
And when you come to ,analyze what
implies Mary Jones is jolly and gay and
good tempered, and very unselfish about
trifles. She doesn't say nasty things
about other girls; she is willing to let
plays any little mean social tricks; she is
not taken up with herself all the while,
and she is honest, genuine, frank and
kindly. She is the girl who likes TO talk
ure of a bit of gay gossip with a fresh
young girl; she takes time ito be civil
to the old ladies, she sympathdzes with
bashful girls, younger than herself, ana
She doesn't dangle about in hot rooms
all day munching bon bons and reading
novels, but is full of interests and occu-
pations, and has the buoyancy and vigor
of high health and OVERLOOKING spirits.
The important part is. that she doeSn
pretend to be any of these Things, put
really is what she seems to be. The deb
utante will learn in time, as every one
does learn, that while it is very easy to
pretend it is very difficult to deceive peo-
pie with pretenses. Our friends all know
our real characters pretty Well, ana lne
tempered and kindly is to be good tenn
pered and kindly.
Another lesson the pretty debutante is
@ fs M go gne Butterfly S is the the esgon
of adaptability. A little experience
teaches her that even though, she was WE,
the cleverest girl in school and the val
talk philosophy or discuss serious prob
lens between the figures in the cotillon.
She will have plenty OF proper occasions
to show what she knows, but IN tine Dan
room such topics are heavy and insult
able, and she had much better content
herself with a merry give and take OF
nonsense and nothinSls, so that nothing
is lost when the dance comes to break
happens ito be one of the purely butterfly
order of mind she will soon learn when
she chances to sit beside some grave ell
derby man at dinner that though her an
nocent chatter may anluse him for the
moment he will easily tire Of it, and her
best plan will be to listen to him instead.
He viii be sure to enjoy talking to pair
of bright young eyes that give respect
full attention to what he says.
There is really, when one comes to
think of it. no end of things that this ap-
busy with learning. One is to drop most
of her school girl slang and be r2,her
more careful with her sentences. Anoth-
er is to steer carefully between the dan
some young prig. To learn that notes
must be answered at once and all en-
gagements carefully kept, even If they
happen not TO De amusing anus ones, Sne
erning her tongue, and being discreet In
her talk. lest she ALLEVIATE her friends and
get herself into difficulties, which is per-
haps. the most difficult lesson Of all.
not looking bored every time one feels
the sensation. lest one wound the feel
ings of kindly people who are unlucky
enough to be dull. Lit will be necessary
to teach herself how TO be rid of bores
without being rude, which is whole art
in Itself, ard again how to meet all i'm
pertinences with dignity, and how TO re-
iieve the shyness of tImid people with
her own calm confidence. Let the debu-
tante never think that lessons are
ended with the closing of the school
room door: indeed, now that she is
gay young wonla n in society they are