Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1894-10-17
His Lucky Uncle.


luckiest strike he ever made was
when John Rogers barn burned
down with a hundred bushels of
corn in it that my uncle had just
paid Rogers two dollars bushel
for, although the biggest and hard
est kind of yaller corn was only
worth forty cents, the best any one
could do.
"John Rogers had owed my uncle
a couple hundred dollars for five
years and more, but that didn't
bother John any, as he was one of
those chaps who believe thoroughly
in letting the other fellow walk
One day my uncle drove over to
Johns to see if he couldn't squeeze
a little something out of him.
How're you fixed, John?' said
my uncle.
Expected to have fifty to-day,
sure said John, with twinkle in
his eye, but when l went over to
Bill Mason's to borrow it Bill
wouldn't let me have it. Beats the
horses how some people don't seem
to have confidence nowadays
"But after my uncle and John
had talked awhile John said:
"'Tell you what I'll do, Abner,'
said John. I've got a hundred
bushels o corn in the barn yonder.
S'pose'n you take the corn, and III
be willin, to call you and me square,
my uncle figured that up, with
corn at forty cents, two dollars a
bushel was tolerable high figure
to pay for it, but he thought he
might better pay two dollars bush
ell for corn and get forty dollars
that to never get anything, so he
said he'd take the corn and call it
square. He went to the barn after
awhile. There was the corn. But
he came back to John feeling ugly.
" Here, john said he, that's
nothing but little runty popcorn.
"'Yes,' said John, grinning, it's
popcorn. | didn't think to say pop
corn
"'Why,' said my uncle, popcorn
amt worth nothln at all in the
marketr
"'Yes,' said John. That's about
and figure for popcorn
my uncle was pretty mad, l
tell you, and John Rogers was pretty
near tickled to death, and so he
said to my uncle:
"'There's goin to be a circus in
town tomorrow. Better stay all
night with us, and I'll take you to
the show
my uncle thought he'd get that
much out of him anyway, so he
staid. The circus was expected along
by Johns house early in the morn
ing Oh it's way to town, and when
Johns boys got up to see it go by
they woke their father and my
uncle with their yells.
"'Jumpin' jacksnips, pop! they
hollered. The back yards got
twenty foot O snow in it!
"John and my uncle piled out,
for it was early in September, and
there hadn't been any sign of snow.
But there was the back yard, with
a white drift clear across it and
banked twenty feet high. Then it
struck everybody all of sudden
that the barn was gone. You bet,
it was gone! It had burned down
some time during the night and
stuffed my uncle jamful Of luck
Every blamed kernel of that runty
little popcorn had popped out like
a snapdragon, and there it was,
banked up where the barn had been,
like a staring big snowdrift! Pop
out a bushel of popcorn, and it will
swell to FIVE bushels, so here my
uncle had 500 bushels of the choicest
kind of popcorn on his hands.
"While they were all gawping at
this curious transformation, along
came the circus. The proprietor
was in his wagon at the head of the
procession.
"'Thunder! said he, stopping to
take look at the big heap of pop
corn. 'That'll sell like hot cakes at
my show. How much do you want
for it?'
"'Two dollars bushel, said my
uncle.
Cheap enoughv said the circus
man, and he bought the whole five
hundred bushels and planked down
in my uncle's hands ten nice, fat
one hundred dollar bills.
"Luckyp / should say he was.-
But, do you know, John Rogers
never spoke to him from that time