Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1894-04-21
TWO OF A KIND.
How Bremner and Sommers AS
sisted Each Other.

az am in trouble" said Bremner to
his friend Sommers, land I want yod
TO help me out"
"Financial?" asked Sommcrs, with a
slight contracting of the eyebrows.
"Oh! no, worse than that, a good
deal"
81 didn't know that anything could
be worse in these paniclsy times. What
isit?"
81 have friend" said Bremner. "or
a man who thinks himself my friend,
and whom, for certain reasons, wish
to shake off, but he refuses to be
shaken. Now, you are resourceful
man, and may be able to give me
hint l have tried everything with
Snaggs everything short OF positive
insult--and all to no purpose"
"What is the matter with him?" asked
Sommers.
"The matter is this. He has boy
seven years old, or thereabouts, and he
always persists in talking of the
lad; in fact, he can't talk about any
thing else, and imagines everyone as
deeply interested as himself. I have
nothing at all against the boy; he is a
good enough commonplace little fellow,
like all the rest of them. l never see
any difference in boys myself, they all
seem equally Objectionable. But Snaggs
comes to our house, sits down, and
talks about his boy, what he does and
what he says, until l am nearly driven
crazy. / hope you can suggest some
thing for my relief"
81 suggest" said Sommers, "that you
take Snaggs to the state of Michigan,
q. S. A, and kill him"
"Why to Michigan?" queried Brem-
ner
"Oh, simply because they don't hang
for murder there, and any penalty
short of hanging should be cheerfully
borne to get rid of man like Snaggs. {"
~ didn't know you were acquainted
with him." said Bremner excitedly.
Pm not, but 1 am afflicted in the
same way myself"
"Nonsense!" cried Bremner, 81 never
even heard you mention your chill
dren."
81 mean that 1 am afflicted with a
friend like Snaggs. It's daughter in
his case. His name is Gregsby. 1 am
even worse off than you are, for his only
daughter is but five years old. You are
two years ahead of me. BY and by the
boy will reach years of discretion, and
he will get there quicker than Gregs-
by's girl
II don't know about that" Bremner
answered gloomily; girls grow up SO
much faster than boys do"
aR,,t thau ,,auar raonl wars nf IiS-
cretion, you know"
Il don't believe any son of Snaggs
will, either The boys father hasn't,
at any rate But, say, Sommers, an
idea strikes me. Why not introduce
Snaggs and Gregsby to each other?"
That wouldn't be bad plan," re-
piled Sommers, cheerfully, land then
we might bet on them. I'll back my
man to be the greater bore"
"There wouldn't be any use in bet
ting" said Bremner, "for if your man
is as bad as mine, it could only end in
draw"
test the case"
shall l bring Snaggs to your house
tomorrow night, then?" asked Brem-
ner.
Eyes, and if you're in for bet, I'm
your victim. have great faith in
Gregsby, and would like to have a lit
tie stake on him."
'It's q serious subject with me-" re.
piled Bremner.
''Oh, very well then, I'll expect, you
tomorrow night about eight o'clock,
though l suspect your man is not half
so capable bore as mine"
1t was a few minutes before o'clock
when Gregsby pressed the electric but.
ton at the Sommers' residence. Som.
mers heard him talking to Mrs. Som
mefs in the hall, saying: "Oh, yes,
thank you, she is quite well. I'll tell
you something funny that she said to-
day to her mother" Sommers groaned
and helped himself to quantity of the
stimulant provided for his guests. The
next moment Gregsby appeared, smil
ing, and So miners greeted him with
well-feigned cordiality. Very soon the
bell rang again, and few minute!
after Bremner was introducing
Snaggs to the two sitting in the smolt
ing room. "Beastly weather this, sale
Gregsby to the newcomers. ~ don,
mind the weather myself, but when /
man has children he is compelled t,
think of it." "HEve you children?'
asked Snaggs, with apparent inter
est 'I've got little boy myself, bu
he doesn't mind the weather in tn,
least"
II shouldn't say children" replie'
Gregsby. 81 have one little girl, an,
she is only five years old, but wonder
fully knowing for her age, and thi
weather is so bad that she misses he
walk with her mamma We neve
trust her out with nurse, you know
II was saying" broke in Snaggs
''that have little boy myself; he i
seven. and he goes out in all sorts O
weather. l don't believe in coddlin
children. And that reminds me of
clever thing he said to me this morn