Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-10-23
Most Innocent Black Eye Could Not
 EsCnne Susnicinn.


 Escape Suspicion.
 "Lemme tell you something" said the drummer as he slowly caressed the bandage which held the piece of raw beef tightly over his left eye and got his right knee up where he could clasp both hands around it. You may have whisky nose, boil on your neck, hat out of style, pair of bow legs or the mark of Cain on your brow, but nothing gives you away liko black eye. In the first place, it Is something you cant conceal. In the next, every man forms an opinion as to how you got it, aId all your talk only makes him smile the more. Are you on to that fact?'
 The interviewer pulled out his pocket glass and looked to see if his eyes were all right and answered that he tumbled. "You sec, " continued the afflicted, II have to take a certain amount of ex- srcisc with tho clubs every night before retiring. Doctor recommended it for my lungs, you know, and I carry clubs in my trunk. Expands the lungs, braces up the spinal column and strengthens the arms and shoulders. You follow me, l presumc?'
 He was assured that he was followed, and after wiping n sympathetic tear from his right cyc and heaving a heart felt sigh he said:
 | Last night while was practicing as usual with the clubs 1 accidentally hit the bedpost with one of them, and it flew up and struck me in the eye. The clerk of this hotel knew that I was in my room and that it was my habit to practice, and yet when I came down to ask for a bit of raw beef he smiled, and shook his head. and asked how long lay unconscious, and whether had the fellow arrested. I had to go out and hunt up butcher shop, and as the butcher cut me off q piece of round he inquired whether it was an upper cut or straight blow and where l landed when countered. I met five or six of the boys when came back to the hotel, and despite all could say each and ev- cry one would have it that I had been slugged. Can you realize the painful DO. sition a man with a black eye is placed in?''
 The interviewer said he could, and after the bandage had been frightened a little the drummer remarked:
 My time is limited. and can stoI work for a black eye. generally put ir three days in Detroit, but tomorrow leave for Grand Rapids. l have got as much nerve as the average man, but can't stand the pressure. Here is my notebook, and here are a few of ths interesting inquiries and observations called out during the day:
 Hit you with his right, did hep
 How did you feel when it landed7
 Splitting wood. and O stick flew up of coursel
 "'What made you call him liar be fore you got your hands up?'
 "'You'n get over it in a couple O weeks, and next time you'll know enough to turn the back of your head.
 "'Run agin a lamppost in the dark. seei Have done the same thing myself.
 "'It was always a wonder to me wh, O man who can't fight should go aroun, sassing folks.
 Right in the eye eh LOT, but if tha fist had landed on your nose you coul' never have even scented a skunk aginI Train ran of the rails, and yor I were caught between two cars, of course Well, you have got a good case an ought to get at least g, 900 out of it
 btth thtit Stli. ANo tA cuses or explanations needed Probabl had you cornered up. with no show | dodge or run, but why didn't you offe him a dollar not to do it?' "Those," sighed the drummer as h reached for his notebook, "are but sam pies selected at random from tremer dous fall and winter stock. had to giv up about 4 o'clock and come in and h down. Didn't dare show up in the dir c ing room, and the waiter who brough D up my meal wanted to know whether was Bob Fitzsimmons or Jack Dempsey Yes, I'll be going in the morning. know a lot of fellows at Grand Rapid but they are not the"-
 At that moment along came an a' quaintance on his way to the billiar room of the hotel, and at sight of tt bandaged eye he halted, threw up h . hands and exclaimed:
 ''Holy smoke, but if you can't figl or bluff or run why don't you put c roller skates and fall down before yc ere hitr'-Dotroit Fres Press..