The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1894-11-01
THAT BRUTE SIMMONS.
Why He So Basely Deserted His
Economical Wife.

Simmons infamous behavior towards
his wife is still matter for profound
wonderment among the neighbors.
The other women had all along re
garded him as a model husband, and
certainly Mrs. Simmons was a most
conscientious wife. She toiled and
shaved for that man, as any woman in
the whole street would have main
tanned, far more than any husband
had a right to expect. And now this
was what she got for it. Perhaps he
had suddenly gone mad.
Before she married Simmons Mrs.
Simmons had been the widowed Mrs.
Ford. Ford had got berth as donkey
man on a tramp steamer, and that
steamer had gone down with all hands
off the cape. a Judgment, the widow
woman feared, for long years of
contumacy which had eliminated in
the wicl<edness of taking to the sea,
and taking to it as a donkeyman-an
immeasura fall for a capa bic
engine-fitter. Twelve years as Mrs.
Ford had left her still childless, and
childless she remained as Mrs Sim
mons.
AS for Simmons, he, 1t was held, was
fortunate in that capable wife. He
was a moderately good carpenter and
Joiner, but no man of the world-and
he wanted one. Nobody could tell
what might not have happened to
Tommy Simmons if there had been no
Mrs Simmons to take care of him. He
md C,,iat wit n n
bovish face, and sparse limp whiskers.
He had no vices (even his pipe went
from him after his marriage), and Mrs.
Simmons had engrafted on him sundry
exotic virtues lie went sOlemnly to
chapel every Sunday under tall hat,
and put a penny-one returned to him
for the purpose out of his weeks
wages-in the plate. Then. Mrs.
Simmons overseeing, he took off his
best clothes, and brushed them with
solicitude and pains. On Saturday
afternoons he cleaned the knives, the
forks, the boots, the kettles, and the
windows, patiently and conscientious
ly. On Tuesday evenings he took the
clothes to the mangling. And on
Saturday nights he attended Mrs.
Simmons in her marketing, to carry
the parcels
Mrs. Simmons own virtues were ma
tive and numerous She was a Won
derful manager. Every penny of Tom
my's thirtysix or thirty-eight shillings
a week was bestowed to the greatest
advantage, and Tommy never ventured
to guess how much of it she saved.
f,.,,
prodigious to behold. She met Sim
mons at the front door whenever he
arrived, and then and there he
changed his boots for slippers, bal
ancing himself painfully on alternate
feet on the cold flags. This was be-
cause she scrubbed the passage and
doorstep turna bout with the wife of
the downstairs family, and because
the stair carpet was her own. She
vigilantly' Supervised her husband all
through the process of cleaning him
self after work, so as to come be-
tween her walls and the possibility of
random splashes: and if, in spite of
her diligence, a spot remained to tell
the tale, she was at pains to impress
the fact on Simmons memory, and to
set forth at length all the circum-
stances of his ungrateful selfishness.
In the beginning she had always es-
corted him to the ready-made clothes
shop, and had selected and paid for
his clothes: for the reason that men
are such fools, and shopkeepers do as
they like with them. But she pres
emily improved on that She found a
man selling cheap remnants on a
street corner, and straightway she
conceived the idea of making Sim
mons clothes herself. Decision was
one of her virtues. and a suit of up
roarious check tweeds was begun that
afternoon from the pattern furnished
by an old one. More, it was finished
by Sunday, when Simmons, overcome
by establishment at the feat, was
induced in it and pushed off to chapel
ere he could recover his senses. The
things were not altogether comfort
able, he found; the trousers chung
tight against his shins, but hung loose
behind his heels: and when he sat it
was ON Il wilderness of hard folds and
seams. Also his waistcoat collar
tickled his nape, but his coat-collar
went straining across from shoulder
TO shoulder; while the garment itself
bagged generously below his waist.
Use made a habit of his discomfort