Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-03-01

a multitude of sins of omission. -
Plain Dealer
Il DON'T claim" said St. Gaudens,
shat my model looks well at first
blush. PLAIN Dealer.
If the immortals grew old, what an
ancient specimen Cupid would BEL
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
The grip microbe is supposed to
have started on its mission in tho
lodge-room. Lowell Courier.
SHE-"What strong face that
man has," He-"Yes; it carries him
everywhere. Detroit Free Press.
WHEN good idea strikes musi-
clan it is only proper that he should
make note of it.-Buffalo Courier.
TIE widower about to remarry is
the most unselflsh of mortals. He
seldom thinks Of number one. Life.
A MAN never appreciates what a
good servant his memory has been
until he forgets something. -Milwau-
kee Journal.
FRED-"Is there any chance for me
to win her?" Arthur-"Oh, yes; she's
engaged to eight or nine young fell
lows. Truth.
From the way some men offer
prayers it is difficult to tell whether
they are ministers or auctioneers.
Elmira Gazette.
OLD lady from the country Cat the
lace exhibit)-"Five dollars yard,
eh? That must be all wool, amt it?"
philadelphia Record.
1T depends entirely upon how much
she has whether or not it embarrasses
woman to have her back hair come
down. Globe.
THERE is some meat in this poem"
said the poet, as he handed it to the
editor. "We amt had a pound in
week. ALTON Democrat.
WHY is policeman called copper?
Can it be- because it plays an impor-
tant part when collection is taken
up? Philadelphia Times.
MANAGER-"Ah, madam! you sing
from your heart" Prima Donna
Eyes; Pve always been complimented
on my chest tones. Puck.
JACK-"What did that horse cost
your" Tom-"It cost me all the re
spect ever entertained for the man
/ bought it from."-Tid-Bits
"WHAI'D that furniture-dealer say
when you told him that mirror he
sent up was cracked?" "Said he'd
look into it. Buffalo Courier.
A MAN may devote all his time to
hunting and succeed, hut to amount
to anything as fisherman he must
know where to draw the line.-Buf-
falo Courier.
PAT-Phat be that yez are drink
in wild yer whisky?" Mike-"Apolli-
naris, Pat" Pat-"How duz it taste?"
Mike-"As if me fut war aslape!"-
Harper's Bazaar.
A KENsINGToN girl who is engaged
in a law Office told youth whose
hand she rejected that she would al
ways be a sister-in-law to him
Philadelphia Record.
SHE-"Is it true that lover never
eats anything?" He-"Not after he
becomes engaged" She-"Why not?"
He-"He never has any money to
spare. Brooklyn Life.
HICKs-"What a curious acting
chap Aberrate isl Sometimes 1 think
his mind cannot be right" Wicks-
"Don't you think it too bad to blame
it on his mind?"-BOston Transcript.
"WBY do you sign your name j.
John Z, b. b. Bronson?" asked Haw-
kins. Because it is my name," said
Bronson. Il was christened by a
minister who suffered. "-Life's CAL
endar.
AT THE SALON. you tell me
what that picture representa-" @That
is Queen Cleopatra. Have you never
heard of her?" "Never in my life. I
seldom read the papers. "-L'Intrans-
igeant.
FRIEND of the family - Why did
you promise your daughters hand to
that idiot Softleigh, and then refuse
to let him marry her? Stern parent
Philadelphia Record.
"DoEs literature pay?" asked the
idler. Il should say so" replied the
country editor. Every time we print
poem the author comes In and buys
at least twenty copies of the paper to
send away. - Washington Star.
PAT has offered his school-fellow a
bite from his apple, and is astonished
at the large portion measured off by
Mikes teeth. "Here, l say; hold on
there, hold on" (Then correcting
himself.) "When / say hold on I
mean let go. boston Transcript
HAD BEEN TO CHICAGO. Teacher
Qn physiology lesson)-"The next
process in digestion is called chymifl-
cation. During this the food is
turned around and around In the
stomach. Tommy Traddles-@Please,
sir! Is that what they call the danse
du ventre?"-Life.
MUGGINs-"See that poor devil In
the rain without any umbrella?
Every rainy day / see him in the
same predicament, and on clear days
he always carries an umbrella. Who
is he? do you know" Buggins-
@That's our local weather forecaster.
PHILADELPHIA Record.