davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald., 1894-09-19

pr. Parker, dentist, l2o}6 wss. First street
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
Tn, wounded In the Next War.

The conqueror Of the future, if he ac-
cepts the old time conventional burden
of his adversary's wounded, will be-
come its victim He will not accept the
incubus. Is it to be imagined that the
victor in such circumstances will think
twice even about his own wounded, let
alone the wounded Of the other slider
No. He is in the field not to be hospital
nurse, but to follow up his advantage
by hammering on the enemy who has
departed, leaving his own wounded be-
hind, and who may come back again to-
morrow to strike him while clogged in
the live and dead debris of yesterdays
battle. The victor will hasten away to
oyertake or hang on the skirts of the
vanquished army, leaving the wounded
on both sides to be dealt with as may be
possible by such surgeons as he can af-
ford, in view of future contingencies, to
leave behind, and to the ministrations
Of cosmopolitan amateur philanthro-
pists Of the Red Cross and kindred or
CARNATIONS, for there will be no more
military bearer companies. In the hun
ger for fighting men the 1000 bearers
per army corps Of the present will have
been incorporated into a strong brigade,
with arms in their hands and place in
tho fighting line Archibald Forbes in
Scribner's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
Italian Art Has Spent Its Force.

In the nature of things it was not to
be supposed that much excellence Of
painting could come out of Italy, says
Mr.. John c Van Dyke. in writing Of
the display of painting at the Worlds
fair in The Century.
As well expect fine marbles from
modern Greece or bas-reliefs from Meso.
potamia. The flower is blown, and even
the stalk is in dry rot. The art genius
Of Italy typified itself in countless forms
during the renaissance. 1t spent its
force, eliminating with Titan and dy-
ing with Tiepolo in an art peculiar to its
age and people. The present race can
not repeat the triumphs of the past, nor
have they the versatility or strength to
produce new art in keeping with new
tastes.
The attempts Of most of the moderns
are pitiful in their weakness Pictures
of the Roman Campagna, with ruined
aqueducts, pictures of the pyramids, st.
Peters, the Forum, Pompeiian flower
girls at fountains, monks. fruit sellers,
beggars-how much better are they
than the tourist pictures Of castled Chill
Ion or the Jungfrau, with an Alpine
glow collar around its topl Penelope's
suitors with the bow of Ulysses and the
modern Italians with the palette of I'll
tianl What could they do that would
not seem petty by comparison? That
which is Italian is mediocre in quality,
and that which is very good is not Ital-
ian
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
CATCH QUESTIONS.
Some Puzziing Queries That Appear Not
Hard to Answer.

Some Puzzling Queries That Appear Not
Hard to Answer.
If goose weighs 10 pounds and a half
its own weight, what is the weight Of
the goose? Who has not been tempted
to reply on the instant 10 pounds? the
correct answer being, of course, 90
pounds. 1t is astonishing what very
simple query will sometimes catch a
wise man mapping. Even the follow
ing have been known to succeed:
How many days would IL take to cut
up piece Of cloth 80 yards long, one
yard being cut off every day?
A snail climbing up pole 30 fee
high ascends five feet every day and
slips down four feet every night. How
long will the snail take to reach the top
Of the post?
A wise man having q window one
yard high and one yard wide, requiring
more light, enlarged his window to
twice its former size, yet the window
was still only one yard high and one
yard wide. How was this donel
This Is q catch question in geometry,
as the preceding were catch question
In arithmetic. The window was dia-
mond shaped at first and was afterward
made square.
As to the two former, perhaps 1t is
scarcely necessary seriously to point out
that the answer to the first Is not 90
days, but 40, and to the second not 20
days. but 10, since the snail. who gains
one foot each day for 10 days. climbs
ON the sixteenth day to the top Of the
pole and there remains. -Pittsburg Dis
patch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
INVESTIGATING AN ACCIDENT.
The Railroad Engineer Gets Out of Trouble
For Running Too Fast.

The Railroad Engineer Gets Out OF Trouble
For Running Too Fast.
Superintendent Warren of the East
ern Illinois railway was telling the 9th
or evening of certain engineer in the
employ Of tho road who had been re.
peatedly cautioned against running too
fast He was running a freight train,
and on one portion of his division there
was steep hill His orders were to
never permit his train to go down that
hill faster than 10 miles an hour, but il
was general belief that whenever he had
O safe opportunity he sailed down that
grade just as fast as the wheels would
turn. One day no did go down the hill
so fast that the entire train left the
track at the bottom, and there were box
cars piled up high. An investigation
Immediately followed, and the engir
neer, in railroad parlance, was put on
the carpet" He swore in the most
solemn terms that he went down the
hill not faster than Is miles an hour,
but that just before reaching the bot
tom he lost control Of the eirbrake, and
the speed became SO great the train
could not keep the track; hence the
wreck, for which he was not RESPONSE
ble i
But" said his superintendent, 1--WE
have q man here, farmer, who was ON
the hillside that day when you came
down. He stood at the edge of o clear
ing, saw you at the top and all the way
down, and he will swear that he never
saw train going so fast in oil his life,
and he is man 90 years old. He says
that IL was next to an impossibility to
see the wheels. What do You say to
that?"
The engineer never hesitated.
IT know the man. saw him the day
after the wreck, and he told the same
story to me, only there was a little more
to 1t.
"What was that?' ~
"Why, he told me that 1t was the
first train of cars he had ever seen in
his life, and don't think ne would be
very good judge of speed.
There was silence in the room for q
few moments, and the engineer got off
with 60 days suspension. Chicago
Herald
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
A sueTERRANeAN OCEAN.

It Is Believed TO Undsrlis Nebraska, Kan
sas and Indian Territory.
The best scientists of the land favor
the opinion that Nebraska, Kansas and
part of Indian Territory are situated
over an immense underground lake or
sea. 1t is a we'll known fact that In sew
eral places in Kansas whole sections of
land have suddenly disappeared. leaving
only fathomless lakelets to mark the
spot where they were once situated.
Proof that there Is something peculiar
with the foundation of the section of
the country mentioned may be found in
the celebrated tide wells" Of Polk,
Butler and Colfax counties in Nebras-
ka Polk county is best provided with
these curious wells, having between a
dozen and 30 which roar and ebb and
flow with an unseen tide. The roaring
Of these remarkable curiosities--they
cannot be called natural wonders, be-
cause they are the work Of man, at least
SO far as excavation Is conoerned-is
caused by the inhalation and exhalation
of immense quantities of air. There are
hours, regular and uniform, In which
the air will rush out with loud, hiss
ing sound, and again an equal space of
time in which 1t seems that all the air
of the Platte valley will be sucked into
the cavernous depths of these wonderful
wells.
The period Of this ebb and flow does
not seem to depend upon either the sea-
sons or the state Of the weather, but Is
thought to have some mysterious con-
nection with the high and low tide pc
RODS of the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
A meteorologist Of national reputation,
who sought to fathom the mystery of
the "Platte river tide wells,'' and who
issued little pamphlet with the title
"Roaring Wells Of Nebraska" gave 1t
as his opinion that the roaring phenom.
enon was IN some way connected with
the prevailing direction of the wind.
being strongest in time Of west or south
west breezes. The farmers In the three
counties mentioned as being best pro-
vided with these tide regulated, air ex-
polling wells believe that the water sup
ply is connected with a body large
enough to have regular ebb and flow
Of tide All the wells in the counties Of
Polk and Butler which are tide regulat-
ed are of about tho same depth, those
of Colfax being deeper, but all extend
ing to porous stratum having the same
general characteristics. st. Louis Re-
public.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
The near and the umbreIla.

How much danger is there to the
pound in wild blhck beal, when you
meet him in his haunts accidentally and
at close quarters2 Mrs. G. f. Latham,
wife of mine host at Oak Lodge ON the
Indian river peninsula (Brevard county,
Fla.). was returning from the beach
alone and armed only with an umbrella.
When just quarter of mile from this
very porch, she heard the rtistIing of
some animal coming toward her through
the saw palmettos. DR
Thinking it must BIO a raccoon, she
quickly picked up chunk of palmetto
wood and held it ready to wbach Mr..
Coon over the head the instant he
emerged. All at once, with Almighty
rustling out stepped big Black bear
within six feet of herl The surprise was
mutual and profound. Naturally Mrs.
Latham was scared but not ont OF her
wits, and sho decided that to run would
be to invite pursuit and possibly attack.
She stood her ground and said nothing,
and the bear rose OH his hind legs to get
better look at her, making two or
three feints in her direction with his
paws. aAat
Feeling that she must do something,
Mrs. Latham pointed her umbrella at
the bear and quickly opened and closed
1t two or three times. "Woofr' said
the bear. Turning about, he plunged
into the palmettos and went crashing
away, while tho lady ran honeward as
fast as she could go. So much for the
Savage and aggressive disposition Of
the black bear. w. T. Hornaday In ST.
Nicholas. 9f7
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
HE WAS A HUSTLER.
The Opportunity Was Golden Ono, and
He Fastened to Grasp 1t


He fastened to Grasp It
When Major General Schofeld went
to Keokuk, Ia, and married one Of the
bellies of that town, Miss Kilbourne, an
amusing incident occurred which Ar
thur Clarke, business manager Of John
Drew, the comedian, enjoys telling
about. 1t appears that Mr.. Clarke's IA
Their is editor and proprietor of Keo-
kuk' $ leading paper, The Gate City. and
in his counting room no has a particu-
larly energetic Hebrew, by name Joe
Klein. Joseph Is hustler in every
sense Of the word, and tho day is bleak
indeed when he gets left. He heard Of
the approaching wedding Of Miss Kill
bourne with the distinguished officer,
and early on the morning of the date
set for the happy event he called at the
Kilbourne homestead, rang the doorbell
and inquired for Mrs. Kilbourne, moth
err of the bride. He was informed by
the servant who answered his ring that
Mrs. Kilbourne was very much engaged
at the time, but he insisted that he
must see her on very important bust
ness. In a moment she came half way
down the front stairs. She knew Mr..
Klein very well, as people always know
each other in small towns, and when
she saw him at the door she said:
ST can't see you now, Joe. I'm dress
ing for the wedding. Call another
time. /"
''But can't, {" said Mr. Klein. 81
want you to present me to Major Cen
eral Schofield. must meet him
That is impossible, Joe, said Mrs.
Kilbeurne. The general is dressing
for the church. But the soldier had
overheard the controversy from an up
per landing, and rather than create
trouble no came down and was duly
presented
General Schofield,' began, Klein
impressiyely, "do you realize that you
are about to take from us one Of the
fairest flowers we have in Keokukp Do
you know that when she goes hence
with you she will long for news of her
old neighbors? In order that she may be
really made happy by these tidings /
ask you now to place your honored name
upon the subscription list Of The Gate
City, which is the best paper in Iowa.
Our rates are So for the daily per an
mum and ST. so for the weekly. Think
of your young bride /" And there were
tears in Klein's voice as he pleaded for
recognition. ~
Mr.. Klein, said the general after
regarding the business manager with
undisguised admiration for several min
utes: II dorot hesitate to proclaim that
you are wonder. You deserve success.
Come in, and we will have bottle Of
wine together. viii not subscribe for
your daily, but you may put. mo down
for your 81. 80 weekly, = and The Week
ly Gate City now finds its way from
Keolxuk to General Schofeld's house
hold with great regularity. Chicago
Times. ~ 'ts
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
THE BROOK.

I looked in the brook and saw a face.
Heigh-ho, but child was II
There were rushes and willows In that place,
And they clutched at the brook Is the brook
ran by.
And the brook It ran its own sweet way,
As a child doth run In needless play,
And as it ran heard It EAyi
Hasten with me
To the FOSTERING sea
That is wroti with the flame OF the morn
ing skyl'
! look in the brook and see face.
Heigh-ho, but the years 60 byl
The PUSHES are dead in the old time place.
And the willows know when child was I.
And the brook 1t seemeth to me to say,
As ever 1t stealeth on its way,
Solemnly now and not in playi
"Oh, come with me
To the slumbrous sea
That is gray with the peace of the evening
skyl"
Heigh-ho, but tho years so by.
Would to God that child were II
Chicago Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
ORIGINATED.

My ladys spente golden houre
Last nighte with me atte cheese.
And only those who know her power
Ye dire result can guesse.
Ye little handle, like leaf of ferne.
Can sore destruction worke;
lime those deare eyes magic lies,
A mighte untolde doth lurkel
My ladye loves We game of cheese.
ehotte contested fielde;
Yette smileth less when harde they presse
Than when my cohorts yielde.
All, If dared to presse my suit
Would she bee cold and grave2
Or would she smile in sweetness mute,
Ye answer doe crave?
My bishop good my love shall pleade;
My knighte ride on her queste;
My pawns shall hede her slightest needle;
My castle guard her reste;
My king whome erst she did dethrone,
Shall bow a willing knee;
NJ queene-nay, one is queene alone
She plays attic cheese with mel
Godey's Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
eRgelevs MANNERS WERE BAD.



er Dinner Speech.
The genial old philanthropist, Horace
Greeley, went to New Orleans after the
south had taken him to her heart in
grateful recognition of his action in GO
ing ON the jeff Davis bail bond, and the
people were anxious to show him every
attention in their power.
A dinner seemed to be the proper
thing, and the markets of New Orleans,
than which there are few better in the
world, were ransacked to make the oc-
casion as notable for its viands as for
the distinction of the guest and the din
ers. Judge Walker, the veteran editor
Of The Picayune, presided. He was a
great gormand, and after the manner
of Commands wished none of the fine
points of the dinner to be lost to the
guest for lack of commentary.
"Mr. Greeley, said he, ''these oys-
ters are the best that come to our mar
ket, and we think they vie with those
of Norfolk. observe that you are not
eating Them
"Well, no, replied Greeley. 1.-THE
truth is never could abide shellash. !"
And he passed.
Then came some delicious green tur-
tie soup, which Judge Walker explain
ed was prepared from the finest fat tur-
tie the Florida bays could afford.
''No doubt, no doubt, y was the reply
in Greeley's peculiar whine, "but cold
blooded animals are mn aboinination to
me, !"
The pompano, imperial fish that it is,
and fresh from the gulf, was open to
the same objection, despite Judge Wal
ker's eulogy, and that, too, was passed.
Mr. Greeley barely tasted the accompa-
nying Partisan dainty and shook his
head ruefully at the idea that anybody
would impair his digestion by eating
cucumbers. Shrimp salad, another New
Orleans delieaey, proved no more tempt.
ing. Shrimps, he said, looked SO mucl
like worms that they always give h
the creeps.
"Ah, here il something You will Ill
IA homely dish in name, !" said Judg
Walker, "but fit for the gods 1t is
Galicia ham. - And then he went on
to tell how the hogs from which these
hams were obtained were fed only on
chestnuts, making the flesh luscious and
delicious.
Perhaps SO, very interesting in
Decd" observed Greeley, but do you
know, Judge, that there is so much talk
of trichina nowadays that ! wouldn't
dare taste bit of pork. y
The judge gave mp in despair. The
only things in all the array of dainties
which had been provided which Mr..
Greeley would eat were bread, potatoes
and cauliflower, and he feared that he
might be overlooking his stomach at
that. But when 1t came to the speak
ing, although he had drunk nothing but
cold water, he spoke as one inspired and
with feryor, eloquence and tender
ness that nobody at the table could ever
forget. Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18

"a true sweetbread is perhaps the
most healthy meat that can be eaten, "
said doctor yesterday, "but you are
never able to get it. The sweetbread
proper is the panoreas. which is one Of
the most effective agents In promoting
digestion, but the sweetbread Of trade
is usually obtained from the threats OF
cattle and is what is called the thyroid
gland. This gland rests against the
windpipe, and while its texture is sim
liar to that of the real sweetbread II
has not the same beneficial qualities.
But some butchers, in order to make
money, pass Off the salivary gland, that
which furnishes the saliva, located in
the cheeks, for q sweetbread. This Is
the most inferior substitute Of all. The
pancreas, or real sweetbread, is most
dainty morsel. 1t is Of triangular form.
while the sweetbreads obtained from
the throat are Of an oval form. But
what is the use of making people dis
satisfied They have been eating thy
roid and salivary glands for sweetbreads
for years and have been satisfied. But
then they have never tasted the real
thing. "--Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
rhe renor,s Littla ,Ioke.

A popular tenor, whose dislike to en-
cores is we'll known, had been singing
"Come Into the Garden, Maud, when
there arose vehement outcry for an en-
core.
Ladies' and gentlemen, said the
singer as soon as the noise had somewhat
abated, IT am sorry to inform you that
Maud is laboring under severe cold.
In fact, her mamma has just sent her to
bed. Under these circumstances 1t will
be quite useless for me to ask Maud to
come into the garden again this even
ing. As soon as she has recovered l
shall only be too happy to oblige you. I"
London Tit-Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
Behind the Age.

When the Mother Hubbard toilet was
abroad in the land, ono Ohio town dis
tinguished itself by passing a law pro-
hibiting the wearing Of the gown out
side of house limits. And the landlady
of small village inn In England has
handed herself down to posterity In
similar fashion by refusing to let two
women cyclists, clad in kniokerbocker
suits, sit down to dinner In her public
coffee room.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18

A convalcscent patient should never
be permitted to sit up late at night.
After the evening meal it is well for all
visitors to be excluded from the room,
and the patients mind should be kept
as free from excitement as possible.
The hour for retiring should be early
and such means employed for aiding
sleep as may be directed by the physi-
cian A glass of hot milk at bedtime )
often a good device for promoting sleep.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
What She Wanted.

Mime. Parvenoo-I want a first class
ticket TO Rome.
Agent representing the Tourists In.
ternational company)-Yes. ma'am
Mime. Parvenoo--And want it to
include an excursion to Italy, do You
Chicago Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
A Baked Potato.

A potato baked with the skin un-
broken is rich in nutrition and agree
able to the palate. The addition OF lit
tie salt and a tablespoonful Of rich
sweet cream renders 1t truly delicious.
Ingalls, Home Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18

Washington has salmon fisheries
worth 81, 10000 year and catches
10, 900 fur seals 1t exports So, 900, 900
worth of lumber and coal and raises
Is, 900, 900 bushels of wheat.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18

Tweed, as q cloth name, arose from q
mistake. Its name was twill. but in a
blotted invoice sent to London mer-
chant the word looked like tweed. and
80 1t came into use.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
TWENTY-SECOND YEAR.
Dauchy's Advertisements.

WEAkAlA in money also other valua BILE pre-
NHNENHts miums TO good guessers BASE
| WEVVU BALL Enthusiasts, this is your
opportunity see offer HOME
AND COUNTRY MAGAZINE. Price 25c All
Newsdealers or So East 10th Street, New York
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
where Woman Comes Last.

An Arab-meaning tent dweller; in
an equine sense the town dweller is no
Arab--loves first and above all his horse.
No one need to recite the oft sung affec-
ton he will lavish upon him. Next he
loves his firearm. This, POLITICALLY speak
ing. ought to be six foot, gold inlaid,
muzzle loading horror Of matchbox.
which would kick any man but an Arab
fat on his back at every shot, but actu-
ally, in Algeria or Tunis, when he lives
near city, it is more apt to boa mod
ern English breechloader You must fly
from the busy haunts of men to find the
matchbox. Next to his gun he loves his
oldest son. Last comes his wife-~-or one
of his wives perhaps htsasa4
Daughters don't COUNT mean the
Arab doesn't take the trouble to count
them unless in SO far as they minister
to his comfort, dietetic on otherwise
Until some neighbor comes alongand
proposes to margin other words. to
make still worse slave of one of them
she is only chattel, soulless thing.
And yet she is said to be a pretty, amia-
BILE, helpful being--said to be, fox no
one by any hap ever chancessto cast his
eyes ON one worth seeing. This disre-
gard for women, belt said to their hon
or. does not always apply TO the Bedou-
ms of the Syrian and Arabian deserts.
New York Journal. 49,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
Solid Emery Wheels.

In the production of solid emery
wheels tho best cement that can be en-
ployed Is one that binds the emery to-
gether with that degree of strength
which will resist the centrifugal strain
due to the high speed at which emery
wheels cut best--about 8, 600 feetsspeed
per minute. 1t must not soften bysfrio-
tional heat nor glaze nor burst nor be-
come brittle and break with cold, nor
must it hold the cutting grains until
they are too dull to cut nor release
them so readily as to waste away the
wheel too fast. 1t must be capable Of
being thoroughly mixed evenly with the
grain emery, SO that the wheel may not
have either hard or soft spots and bs
ont of balance, and must also be capable
of being tempered to suit different
kinds of metal or work. Great care and
skill are required in tho matter of Sc
lecting only pure and strong chemicals
for these cements. -G aesiar's Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1894-07-18
DR.. EUGENE C. BATTEN,
VETERINARY SURGEON,

Graduate of the University of Pennsylvania,
80 YORK STREET
LAMBERTvILLE, N J.
Office Hours Until A. NJ; to 2; and to S
P. NJ. March 81, 1894