Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1894-05-24
JOSHUA AND THE PIG

JOSHUA AND THE PIG.
At midnight the summons came.
Maria Ann thrust her elbow cleverly
between two of my ribs, and whispered
| in ghostly accents.
Joshua. there is a Zig in the garden. ,
| have lived with Maria long enough
TO know that she expected me to catch
her ideas instantly, and though she
had nos said anything about it. knew
| that re anticipated that | would inn
med ately rise in my might and 60 for
! tho' pig / accordingly rose in nv
n INT and CROPPED for my clothes
hat without item / could not ap
p'ar 70 that advant age that would
command the respect Of the pig.
Ihad no idea we possessed so much
wearing apparel until | began an IN.
ventory ut it in the dark while looking
for my trousers. / got hold of art;c es
with edging and articles with hounees
and with embroidery, and with striugs.
while Maria kept whispering through
the gloom:
That pig will eat up all the potatoes
before you get down the stairs You
are fearfutlY slow"
suppose she whispered for fear the
pig would hear and become offended.
She never could bear to give offence to
any one, not even to a pig, excepting
me All this time | was trying on
things that did not fit me. but finally |
got in'o some sort of a garment that
had what was intended for a couple of
buttons on ii, and | buttoned it up, al
though there was light and airy
cheerfulness about it that did not seem
entirely familiar.
got half-down stairs when it sudden
~ occurred to me that the pig was not
ia our garden. for the very good reason
that we haa no garden for pig to get
into; still we had a cistern and the pig
might get into that.
This thought so startled me that |
rolled to the bottom Of the stairs, feat
made easier from the fact that
seemed TO be pretty well tangled up in
the garment that | had adopted.
Maria Ann, who always proves equal
to an emergency, soothed me q good
deal by coming To the top Of the stairs
and calling me an idiot and pet titles
she is in way of applying in moments
of tenderness.
got out of the front door as soon
as possible, and the pig, who was look
ing at the house from the front yard,
apparently with view of renting it
stood appalled,. | did not wonder at
this In my haste in dressing bad in
adver,entiy put on Maria Ann petit
coat, and it stands to reason that a
man arrayed in a white night shirt and
blue petticoat, rushing from the front
door of house at the solemn hour of
midnight, must present an appalling
spectacle TO any pig.
After recovering from his momentary
astonishment, the pig took three more
kinks in his tail. and scooted three
times round the yard. The gate was
wide open, but he never thought of
going through that. He seemed to 30
look ng for good place to- Jump over
the wall tangled myself up in the
petticoat again. and took flying leap
into the yard. and landed on my lett
elbow
We do not give women half the Gre
dit they deserve. l am convinced that
I
pilot petticoat cut with darts in the
back aud trimmed with knife pleating
than ii does to manage 5 bauk. The
pig ran round the yard three times
more in tbs opposite direction, with
/ fonr kinks in his tail
/ am slow 10 wrath. but am afraid
! was beginning to get angry, and
when | ran round the house and got q
Ratchet, | am sorry to confess that it
was with a firm purpose TO Kill that pig
or die in the attempt don't think
the pig had noticed the Wood-shed uu-
til went there for the Ratchet. but
when returned To the front yard. ne
Immediately retired 10 the wood shed,
and then knew had him cornered.
Maria had by this time recovered
her presence Of mind, and had got
her head out of a front window mp
stairs. and began yelling Fire." with
all her might, and in way calculated
to ba of ineStimahle service to me.
All | needed to spur me on to glory
was some one to yell Fire"
entered the wood-shed cautiously
aud found the pig completely at my
mercy. unless he made hole through
the kitchen and escaped that way.
, He did not do that Ga the contrary
! he rushed right st me.
stepped back rather hastily, no
because he scared me, but 10 proven
him tearing my pettiooat. | AZ. Away
careful to keep pigs of my pettiooat a
I far as possible. There was wash-tul
full Of suds behind me, and as | steppe,
e back out If the way Of the pig, in II
OF sbSent-mn einess, sat in that tub
1t may seem curious, but ny recol
/ Election noN Is thai the tab fitted me