The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1894-07-25
| SMELL SMOKE.

Mr.. Snoodle is an inveterate smoker,
and has a most reprehensible habit of
smoking i'm bed, but Mrs. Snoodle,
though she allows him TO smoke any
where else, very properly forbids him
to indulge in such dangerous practice
However, as Mrs. Snoodle is Il remark
ably sound sleeper, Mr.. SnOodle fire.
quently manages to enjoy few stolen
whifIs.
One night when in bed Mr. Snoodle
had an irresistible desire for pipe,
which he in vain endeavored to COM
bat His wife was fast asleep, 50 he
cautiously stretched out his hand for
his pipe, which lay on table by the
bedside. Then with equal caution he
filled it, lighted up and was putting
away with intense relish when Mrs.
SnOOdle turned over and gave two or
three snorts.
al believe she's going TO wake up"
thought Mr.. Snoodle, and hastily took
his pipe from his mouth and placed it
on the table.
Mrs. Snoodle gave few more snOrts
and woke up. Then she gave series
of shifts, and Mr. SnoodIe trembled, for
the room was pregnant with tobacco
smoke.
"John are you smoking?" asked his
wife, sternly.
Certainly not, my dear. Whatever
makes YOU think so?" he innoeently
inquired
"Bscause I can smell tobacco" she
replied. "Phew, how stropg it is
Don't you smell ii John:"
Cant say do, Martha. I've got a
bit of cold"
"Open your eyes, man, and then you
WILL" snapped Mrs. Snoodle.
al don't smell with my eyes" gig
gled Mr.. Snoodle.
"What | mean is wake up properly
and sniff hard Now, can't you smell
it,"
"Well-er-I think there Is faini
odor of tobacco" admitted the culprit
''Think-faint odor! Why, the plae'
reeks with ii! tell you what it is
John, there's somebody smoking in th'
house." declared his wife.
"Do you think Jane indulges in 1
pipe on the sly" suggested Mr.. SnOo
die.
"Nonsense
"Well, my dear, the only other liv
ing thing in the house is the cat, and
never heard of eats smoking"
"Don't talk rubbish, John. It's
serious matter. It's my firm belle
there's burglar smoking in the house
and Mrs. Snoodle shivered.
"Ah, very likely replied Mr.. Snoo
die, thankful for his lucky escape an'
preparing 10 go to sleep again.
"John, are you going to sleep and lie
the house he ransacked?'' asked hi
wife Indignantly.
"Certainly not, my dear.
"Then why don't you go down stair
and catch the burglar?''
Mr.. SnoOdle very reluctantly got on
of bed, sleepiIy lighted n candle, an'
moved toward the door.
AREN'T you going to take some weaI
on Of defense?" asked his wife. "D
you want to he killed? | never say
such manH
Mr.. SnoodIe rather sulkily seized tn
poker and muttered that if he found
burglar he'd make il smoking hot fo
him.
lie had gotten half way down stair
and was thinking ofanything but burs
lars when he suddenly saw n man dal
out of the dining-room and bolt dow
the itchen stairs.
Mr.. SnoodIe's first impulse was il
slant flight, for he was an arrant COW
l ard, but he was so astounded and petr
fled with fear that he was utterly uns
BILE to either move or speak.
He simply stood still, holding I'll
candle nearly upside down, with IA
mouth wide open.
Then he heard the hack door han
and knew that the burglar was gon'
80 he thought it was about time for a
ton and to earn little cheap glory.
So he roared out: /: ''You williams
I'll murder you! I'll scalp you ;
clean rs whistle - and rushed dow
stairs. He had never before felt ,
heroic in his life. He bound into III
I dining-room and fought fiereeIy wit
the furniture, especially the fender, 1
he could bang into that without inju
: ing il much, until he was quite exhaus
ed.
"John, John, come up stair :" cream
cd Mrs. Snoodle. "You will surely
killed."
ATS all right, Martha?" shouts
back Mr.. Snoodle.
"Have you got the rascal safe
bOund:r
'No, they got away. But Pve nea
ly killed themr'
s.Thank heaven. Come up stat
and let me dress your wounds, dear
: said Mrs. Snoodle solicitously.
Mr.. Snoodle, after securing the bae
door, which the servant had Omitt'
to lock, and undoing the bundle
plate, that the burglar had left behir