The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1894-03-04
GETTING II ON.
A Story of Married Man and Mustard
Plaster.

I
He came home with pain in his back.
He was suffering terribly. Pains were
racking his spinal column Of nature far
more severe than had ever been suffered by
mortal man before, He admitted it him.
self
Make me mustard plaster, Mary, and
make it good and strong he walled as no
threw himself upon the sofa.
In few minutes the patient little wife
came in with a plaster about the size of an
ordinary sheepskin saddle--good and thick
too. He took IL into his sleeping room and
said e'dppt 1t on himself
why, dear, you can't put it on Your back
yourself Let me fix it for you" Aud she
started TO follow him in.
Never you mind, now. I'll attend to
this, he growlcd. You go on with your
work and SEE 70 1t tnat | am not bothered.
This pain is killing me by inches.n And he
shut tile door
Well, he undressed, picked up the plaster
from the dresser and tried TO get il on--and
there was circus that came near to equal
ing the greatest show on earth. He tried
TO reach back with his hand aud Law it ON
his back, but only succeeded in getting ii
on his side, while pint or SO OF the mus
tard tricSled onto the floor and down into
his clothes. II didn't feel good. and he got
mad. lie pulled off and tried It with the
other hand, but got the same result. Thcn
bcpinned it On the yall and tried 10 bnck
up against IL aud ran three pins into his
hide. Asa last resort he spread the nlaster
on the floor and then lay down and tried 10
press il on, but miscalcuIated tho distanee
and got his head into it. As he raised I'M
with his hair looking like d glue not. 10 on
the whole greatly resembled n Zulu dressed
for a ball.
HIS talk during the performance had
been getting more and more onnhatic. ana
ct last brought his wife in She prevailed
upon him 70 allow her to arrange the plas.
Ter, and after wiping him off siAe was toll
20 not takeit OIL his hack, no matter Low
much no howled with the burning. for IA
WINS determined that he would Nil thar
pain She promised, and by his instrsn.
lions locked the door upon him. IIe Ma
alone with the plaster.
for bali hour she heard nothing 81 Scr,,.
ing tbe rafting OF the bed springs AZ IA
Tossed about Then she heard him WALKING
the flnor; then mntterings and grnmblInrs.
N1th 90 occasional stamp on the tloof: tben
Shorthand decisive yelp. She SMILED u
guess that viii help him II hc leaves II "a,
49, ttt ~ o'o3 ~ nc wanted me 10 a., IA.
wont be gFunting around with bis hsok M
week ! had one experience like ia, Viii hi,
him. 4 prolonged howl interruuled her
And she heard the crash Of falling eb Ns
MARY unlock that door and come, i, ,,'i p,s,,
aud take this lava bed OH Of me- ", n, ~ ~
hos, know when I've got enough ) = M ~,
was Just going over to a noighbafis ~ os,' 7,
lit'le coffee Or supper aud ti,puehs s M
| wait I'LL she rot buck '''''s MY =
As she stepped into The house 10 ,n,,a,s..
lates blows Of heavy boots wrfe ,bre .'''sss
ing % break 70 the door, while ho,e,s VA
screeches and roars cams nom WITHIN ~, N.Y.
raom Open that door, or III lrral' 4; ,''e Z.
md turn ID the fire alarm ID g, II y
TINS outrage ieeans divorce a,,,i ''' s,',
might as well make up your mind "a !, rs =
There wasa final struggle. d fi,,,Is, y =,
tearing, aud - she GOT tbs door o,,sn a1u
saw thar she was too late stielgas Xxx Ky
against The mirror was dark ana ss,.. ~
mass, white her lord WIS doing MA sstss
back down into the washbnwl q, eo,, 70
It was upset, and the aood 81 wate, aJ,s5g
% the ruin He put on his clotbe. a l,,ps "a
lie stamped cut vi the house stopped 10 NE -