The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-04-14
PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNcENT PARAGRAPHS.
Fresh Stcward-"Don.t get an,
tips, sir?" Saloon Passenger-''Per
haps; if storm comes up."-Washin2
ton News.
Teacher Now, in parsing thil
sentence, The poem was long VIVA
do you do with poemT' Johnnie-'Pui
it in the waste basket Inter Ocean
Mrs. Hicks-''The girl broke only
one dish to-day" Hicks-'How die
that happen?' Mrs Hicks-''It wa!
the only one left IN. Y. Herald.
--"My husband complains that Tn
sending him to the poorhousc." "Aud
mine scolds me when send him to the
bank. '-Munsey's Magazine.
The Court-"What is the charge
against this man?' Patrolman-"Re
sistin' officer" '.What were the cir
cumstances?" II axed i'm for cigar
an he told me to 60 to -."-Detroit
Tribune.
do you ever meet the Probusses,
who moved down here from Milwau.
keep asked the visitor. ''Lord, no, -
answered the Chicago lady. They
amt in society. They're dead rank
outsiders indianapolis Journal
--Customer-"How many yards are
in the piece?" Clerk-"This is whole
bolt; not yard has been cut of. and
there is not another piece of goods like
it in tho stock; it," Customer
"well, then you'll have to show me
something else. want enough for
sleeves Inter Ocean.
Jimmy latter they have fallen
through the ice and been rescued)-
John! we'd better run for home, or
we'll catch cold" Johnny-''Don't You
fret about that! mall lick us so. when
we get there. well get warm enough. |"
Boston Traveller.
Wont you sing us something,
James?" said the mother-in-law, who
was paying the second visit to her
daughter within month. Certainly"
answered the son-in-law; ''what shall
/ sing?" Anything you like" Then
James sat down at the piano and sang.
"And the Cat Came Back. MY. Press
~ understand you saw the play
last night" said she. NO." replied
the melancholy young man, Il was be-
hind the woman with high hat"
But you could at least sit comfortable
and enjoy the music mo, I was
next to the man who spreads himself
over three seats and keeps time with
his feet"-Washington Star.
New Father-in- Law-.sWeli, sir, the
ceremony is over, and now that you
are the husband of my daughter. 1
want to give you little advice. What
would You do it you should wake up
some night and find burglars in the
Bridegroom--"I should tell
them that my father-in-law forgot to
give my wife q wedding dowry, and
they'd go away."-TitBits.
AN English Methodist paper says a
local preacher recently
prayed that the Lord would 'anni-
hilate the queen and all the royal
family" When he learned afterward
what ''annihilate" meant he was greet
~ distressed. II dearly love the
4uCCus uC b8lu, ou1 ! tuOuRut 8uc
deserved the longest word could get
hold of."-N. Y. Tribune.
As soon as = woman marries It Il
believed that she never again longs for
any social amusen- emit A young mar
RED woman was skating on the river
to-day, and there was great deal of in
1ignation because she was not at home
setting yeast for the bread or making
ash I've. Some of the unmarried wo-
non who were indignant were a great
1eal older than the married culprit =
Atchison Globe.
Had Seen Better Days-''This par
-ot, ma'am," said the dealer" is one
hat / can recommend. 1t was in the
'amily of clergyman for many years"
'Well, gents what'll We have? Name
7our pizen!" exclaimed the parrot with
emphasis. HE was obliged
20 part with it. however" continued
he dealer with an apologize cough,
and for the last year or two it has be-
onged to the alderman from our
ward. Chicago Tribune"