The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1894-03-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

sisters OF Cnarlty-faltn ana nope
Puck.
Political platforms are commonly
built of deal. Puck.
A low voice is an excellent thing in
woman-also a low hat.
A coat of mail-The letter-carrier'
livery. Philadelphia Record.
A forced laugh should never be con-
founded with "strain of mirth."
When money talks, even the purist
does not stop to criticise its grammar.
Puck.
When n good idea strikes musician
it is only proper that he should make
note of it.-Buffalo Courier.
He-'I think Miss Fairleigh is
dream of beauty" She (spitefully)-
dreams go by contraries. "-Prck.
The huntsman who brings home the
antlers proves that he has been able to
get head of the game. .-Elmira Ga
zette.
Dinks-''Was Smiths purpose of
whipping the editor carried out?"
Danho ''Nn: but Smith was. Buff
falo Courier.
Claire-"How extremely simple that
gown was Miss De We're wore at the
ball." Marie-''Yes; almost idiotic. "
Detroit Free Press.
'Serves me right, " said the drum.
81 thought could keep tight and
never feel it--and here l am beaten at
my own game. Truth.
1t isn't always the stenographer that
takes down the Congressman's speech.
1t is sometimes the orator on the other
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hicks What is that horrible
stencil gas escaping?" Mrs. Hicks
"No-o-o; cook was out shopping for
perfumery again to-day. Puck.
There is one thing queer about stairways,
| And not in the least bit new;
| man will find creaking step
When he comes home after two.
Chicago Inter-OceaD.
"Harduppy tells me he never de-
stroys a receipted bill" ''No; he's
more likely to have them framed and
hung up in his parlor as curiosities.
Tit Bits.
Uncle George 81 trust, Henry that
you are out of debt?" Henry--''No,
haven't got quite so far as that; but
am out of everything else. "-Bostol
Transcript.
"Mrs. Grit has a constitution like
! IRON" "What makes you think so"
"Her husband has been troubled with
dyspepsia for eighteen years. New
York Press,
The editor who is always feeling the
pulse of the people is not really inter
ested in their heart-beats. 1t is his
own circulation that he is looking
after. Life.
81 wish, " said railway passenger
as bunch of comics were dropped in
to his lap by the train boy, "that these
people would quit poking fun at me. "
Washington Star.
"Mandy, did you read that notice
on the counter, Your choice for fifteen
cents?'" Mandy--"Land sakes yes T;
but it looks like an awful price to ask
for them clerks. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Visitor" Tommy, I wish 10 ask you
few questions in grammar. Tommy
Yes, sir. 'If / give you the SEN
tenee, The pupil loves his teacher,
what is that?' Sarcasm. Texas
Siftings.
Yabsley say you wouldn't
marry any but womanly woman, but
what is your idea of womanly
woman?" Mudge--"One who would
think was the smartest man on earth. y
indianapolis Journal,
A lady asked an astronomer if the
moon was inhabited. MADAM" he
replied, II know of one moon in
which there is always a man and wo-
man. (Which is that?" "rhe honey
moon. journal Amusant.
Doctor 81 left directions that these
powders should be taken before each
meal and only two are gone. Wife
~ know; but you see cook is taking a
vacation, and we only have one meal a
day. Chicago Inter-Ocean,
Friend--"Are you happy?" Spirit
Through medium) Perfectly so.
Can you state what has pleased you
most since you left us?' 'The epi
taph ON my tombstone. Itboth amaze'
aud delights me. Texas Sftings.
Glibby-"A man can never make
anything out of politics unless he's d
hog. Gabby-'I don't know, I've
been in politics good deal Glibby
-"And never made anything? Oh,
well, there are always exceptions, YOU
know. - Boston Transcript