Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1894-10-10
Vas "Shoriv on Trousers.

speaking, in the Stock Exchange on Fri
day afternoon, and before it was over ten
brokers had paid fines of So each for
frivolous conduct and one had narrowly
escaped brief engagement in the living
picture line.
The trousers, the nattiest kind OF
"wbite duck" were worn by Broker L.
n. Buckley, of Buckley, Beach & Wood.
They came in at an hour when the gold
fever no longer ran high enough to be
exciting, when nerves had relaxed and
eyes had lost the fire of The money battle
Had business been brisk and the cla-
NOR high, Mr.. Buckley might have worn
yellow trousers across the floor with I'M
punity, for then they would have attract
ed no attention. He came at an evil
hour
The white ducks, which ordinarily
would have moved noiselessly across the
floor, positively clanked and clattered by
contrast as he walked-all was so very
quiet Indeed, as broker said alterward
no trousers have attained such notoriety
at a bound since Old Man Anson, in the
days when baseball was disease, went
home from third base in a barrel.
That was a dull day on the diamond.
Smoke rose from the base lines. The au-
dience slept. There was no action in the
piece at all. Anson hadn't made 4 hit
in months, and every one felt that he
never would. Then the old man cracked
the leather against the left field fence,
conquered his surprise and ran. The ball
shrieked like a fifty pound shell, and,
when the affrighted crowd saw what had
happened, the old man had cantered to
third and with a mighty slide that ripped
his trousers most painfully ,ploughed into
foul territory, where the hostiles sat upon
him in large numbers and the umpire de-
clared him out. Then some one went af-
ter a barrel, and the old man went to his
quarters.
In like manner, when the piece was
dull, Mr.. Bickley's trousers came into it.,
and the mischief that Satan finds for idle
hands to do awoke.
Mr.. Buckley is faultessly attired, as a
rule. Indeed, it is believed that dress is
matter of no little pride with him.
But yesterday it seemed that the white
trousers he wore had shrunk in the laun-
dry. Had they been turned up as far as
fashion dictates they must have been Of
the "high water" order. SO it happened
that before Mr.. Buckley had fairly got
upon the floor some one loudly referred
to his cleaning neither garments as
"pants." That word ran through the
build like a call to arms, and in an in
slant flying wedge of brokers bore down
upon those flashing trousers with the yell !;
Hi Buckley Where did you get
those pants p and in the "did" there was
word of mock surprise and Indignation
which gave Mr.. Buckley his cue. He
wheeled his trousers like q flash and
headed them for the New Street entrance
at double quick. Too late In another
moment he was a captive and his legs had
been plastered over with hundred little
envelopes. Then the brokers formed
ring about him and told him what he
looked like.
Mr.. Buckley could not 90 out in his
"mucilage" trousers, so some one sent out
for new pair They were forthcoming
"a pair Of white "hand me.downs,
bought for a dollar near by, and while the
broker held them in his hands some pro-
posed that the crowd assist him in get
ting into them then and there. This
happy idea became popular in an instant,
and a score of volunteers began TO attempt
to put it into execution.
Mr.. Buckley objected. In vain he was
told that it would be quite the thing
that there was nothing that would set
fellow up so as to have himself thrust into
his new white trousers by committee Of
his peers, who delighted in doing him
honor He still objected, urging that the
new ones had really nothing to do with
the case, saying that the committees quar-
rel was entirely with the mucilage gar
ments.
The committee decided that wh a
mans modesty stood in his own way to
glory it was the duty Of friends to use
force. And they tried force. A lively
scrimmage was imminent, and there was
already more noise tnan Mr.. Bickley's
"pants" had occasioned upon their en-
trance, when Chairman Mitchell interfer-
ed. While the neighborhood were at
temptiup to persuade the chairman that