The Philipsburg mail. [volume] (Philipsburg, Mont.) 1887-current, 1894-02-22
FROM JOHN, THE TAxAN. 4
Things Do Not Run Exactly to Sui

Il
# Him-Ha Gets Mad.
BoGoTA, Texas. Feb. 14.-The plain
tive notes of our feathered warblers this
beautiful morning caused me to drop
into reverie. The reverie brought on
fit OF dependency which finally dis
solved into sense of neglected duty
hence this communication.
Do you recollect the story of the ex-
plosion in which the parrot and hound
cut SO prominent a figure? Well TIM all
same hound. The beautiful verdure of
amusement is burnt off for miles around
me and my scared and dilapidated con-
science speaks IN a still small voice +:
"That's purity darned good trick !;
wonder what you goin' to do next y
OF course the hound had TO travel; so
will I.
The average man in this sand lot has
about as much mental calibre as a tree
frog. They are good because they don't t
know anything else. They'll 60 six
miles to ''singin," which consists of a
few cracked-voiced pan-rustlers and a
herd Of ham-footed, corn-fed, minus
Drained -smashers neither of whom
know note from a goose-track. who
meet together in an 8xlO room, designed
and used for parlor, bedroom, dining
room and kitchen, and scream and howl
IN narrowing accents over "Greenland's
10y Mountain and "Jesus, Lover of My
Soul If Jesus is listener he must
have affection to mammoth degree to
spare them any. They are all church
members of course. Never dance: oh,
dear, no! Go to church and shout and
yell like band OF Comanches and call
it "heartfelt religion" get so darned
mad some times that go and drink a
whole bottle of McLean's Strengthening
and Purifying Cordial and read them
the Epistle of John to the Texans.
That girl-oh, she's all right. I ap-
preached her yester night. She was
swinging on her papa's new gate T; in fact
we both swang. | asked her with a
tiuttering heart and quivering lip if she
would consent to jar loose from the lodge
Of the old Sachem and fly towards the
setting SIN to sing in the bead bedecked
wigwam of the writer, and she turned
her beaming face and lovely blue eyes to
mine and her cherry lips partly disclos-
ing her pearly ivorles, exclaimed: "Thy
WIZ WdLlS ~ OdChS. LAS Ouly pldC6 III
| thy fevered imagination. Would'st thou
take the maiden thou adorest to paddle
the canoe Of fortune on lifes troubled
stream when thou hast nothing but thy
skill IN making aud repairing the wam-
pun and the beaded moccasn? John
is shoemaker; at least, is trying to
follow that occupation with other things.
Here take this kiss and get thee to thy
western hills and show thyself compe-
tent in the chase for tho wild terrapin
and the feathered foolhen, and when thy
wigwam is adorned with the scalps Of
the Inherent book agent, cornet amateur
and flute PLAYER send me word and
Lillian, the Heart Thief, will take the
trail before another sun bathes in the
western ocean and follow it to the door
OF thy wigwam."
With one spasmotic effort I clasped
her IN my arms and held her in my en-
dearing embrace till her paternal ancer
ter flashed on the scene when I effected
a rapid exit. [ haven't been back since
j Give my bitterest feelings to all ane
reserve some for yourself. JOHN.
i Go to the Independent Meat Compan,