The record-union., 1894-11-30
BESELENA'S LATEST LECTURE.
She Gives Advice to Girls Who Want
10 Marry.
Declares it to be a Mistake to Suppose
They Can Reform Men by
Marrying Them.

ltleS, draws near, one unconSciouSly finds
ones self belonging to numerous sewing
societies devoted to the oStensible pur-
pose of making various and devious
fancy things for ones friends and rela-
tives. 1t doesn't make the least bit OF
difference whether one has ever sewed or
spun during the preceding months. this
last month all ones female friends take it
tor granted that you'll be agitating your
brain and wearying your eyes pouring
over some intricate pattern that is to
adorn the back of somebody's chair or
some place equally as fitting.
1t is to such society that I now find
myself belonging. There are five OF us
and we meet around every afternoon and
are very busy indeed, both with our
needles and incidentally our tongues as
well. But l should speak advisedly when
l say we, and say they are very busy, for
l frankly admit that L simply sit around
with folded hands and do nothing more
than take part in the conversation. They
have ceased to expect me to sew, if, in
deed, they ever did expect it, and have
unanimously elected me sole critic OF
their handiwork.
The bride OF month is embroidering
her Fred a pair OF slippers. They are OF
black velvet adorned with fearful and
wonderful pink rosebuds, which look
like nothing SO much as huge pink flies
with bright green wings. But Fred will
! appreciate them Just the same, because he
hasn't been married so long that il has
| caused him TO be cold and severely crit
ical of what his better half may do, and
he still thinks she Is his better half. too,
and is not ashamed to admitit oit Ier.
The engaged girl has allotted to her
share the Dlissful task of embroidering
her adorable dozen silk handkerchiefs
adorned in each corner with q very tipsy
! looking letter. but no one has the heart to
tell her that the initial looks wObbly. be-
! cause we all know thai she and her Jack are
too awfully ia love for anything, and Jack
Will think the letter is good any way, SO
why should anyone else complain? Then
there is the dear mOtherly old lady who
! is doing hemstitching for her latest mar
ried daughter, and last, but by no means
! least, the artist
We are very proud to have an artist in
our midst, even though she isn't pro-
tessional, as she carefully informs you
when exhibiting her work. She is paint
ing winter scene OF still-lite. From a
bleak gray sky descend to mother earth
angePS tears IN the shape of snowtlakes,
which look like nothing SO much as huge
patches of cotton suspended in mid air.
In one corner huddIed together are a
band of detected looking sheep. When
called upon for my criticism | nearly dis
graced myself forever by mistakiug the
unhappy looking animals Tor pigs, and
was only saved 10y the artist herself who
innocently enough asked me, "WhaL /
thought of her sheep" / was so de-
voutly thankful for her timely rescue that
l hadn't the heart to be severe, so
lavished unbounded praise upon the ami
mails; besides. the picture is TO be pre-
Sented 10 her brother, who is profess
sional artist, and undoubtedly he has had
so much experience that he at least will
be able to distinguish at first glance what
they are intended for. SO she paints
away lnduStrlOuSly, and as often daubs
her lace as the canvas until she resem bles
nothing so much as an Apache CHIEF in
full war paint and feathers, with a dau b
OF Yermilion down one cheek, q dash OF
green adjoining the tip of her nose, and a
zlgzag streak OF gray on her chin. Not
| to mention the sort OF rain bow conglom-
Grafton Of color on the lett side, where she
inadvertently daubed her face with the
paint rag instead of the brush. But then
amateurs can't be expected TO do every
thing, and in the heat of argument it is
hard to concentrate ones mind. so we
refrain from laughing at her groteSuue
appearance with pralSeworthy tortitude.
Miss Bloomer comes in occasionally:
she has lately invested in pink-eyed
canine of the bull persuasion and who
bears the redoubtable appellation of
"Sontag," after the famous California
| bandit. Miss Bloomer will tell Won
''Sontag" and ANDREW Jackson" had q
lively setto the first time they made each
others acquaintance, in which Andrew
Jackson" came out with badly lacer-
ated ear. Since then whenever ''Sonta tagr
makes his appearance my bow-wow has TO
submit to the unprecedented indignity OF
this in his own house, too. That he feels
his position keenly is amply attested by
the lugubrious howls which he sends
forth upon the circumambient at
mosphere.
We had been pretty quiet for the last
half hour when the bride spoke up as she
bit OIL piece of pink thread and screwed
up one optic while passing it through the
eye OF the needle. Girls, you all know
that Flora McElimsy is going to be mar
ried next week." We admitted that we
did, and who hadn't heard Of this much
talked-of wedding, for if Dame Rumor
was to be believed, Flora's trousseau was
! lairly going TO startle the natives by its
gorgeousness, ana had been the sole
topic of the town for some time past.
but do you know anything about the
MANI" persisted the bride. We all
looked at each other aud one of those
painful silences ensued. Every one had
| WAS
willing to give her experience first.
"Of course, you needn't say anything
if you don't wish," continued the bride.
in an injured tone. but he owes nv
Fred money, and lie can't pay it, and /
don't see how he is going to support a
wife; Flora is far too misunderstanding
! to live upon air.
"Since you have said so much, 1 might
as well have my say" said the artist,
turning on her high stool and absent
mindedly painting her nose dull grew.
but he owes brother Ned money, too.
and, what is more, wanted to borrow
money enough from brother to buy his
wedding suit, but he just didn't get 1t.
Ned TOLD me not to say anything about it.
but don't see why the matter should be
kept SO very secret; everybody knows
what kind OF man be is; but what puZ-
Zles me, why doesn't someone tell her
about him 2"
81 don't suppose she would thank the
person who took the trouble,;' said the
engaged girl. tossing her head and stitch
ing away at the fifth handkerchief. BE
side she has got father and two grown
brothers to look out for her interests, not
10 mention her mother, who is lynx
eyed detective SO far as family pedigree
and all that goes. / am perfectly sur
prised that Mrs. McFIimsy hasn't as
cended her future son-in-law's family
tree long ere this.''
Its my opinIon," said the artist, who
had returned to her work, .'that he knows
Flora is a clever girl, and is marrying her
for an obJect She can be the bread win
ner OF the family, and he can lie around
and live on the proceeds of what his wife
earns, and not be put to the trouble of