davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
On the "F1ier."

A man was one day making a trip on the
''fier'' of a Wyoming railroad. Passage
on these trains is never taken except fo1
Journeys of considerable length; walking is
as easy and much safer for short distances.
On this occasion the movement was even
more deliberate than usual, and the pas
senger called the conductor to his seat and
said: q
isn't this motion pretty slow?"
"Well, we amt flying, l admit"
"May I ask what is the trouble, then?"
"Certainly. We found a fine 2-year-old
steer stuck in a trestle back here before you
got on and stopped and helped it out. You
know the rules of the road are, in such cases.
the animal belongs to the company"
''But I don't see why that should make
you run SO slow"
"Why, we're taking that steer to head
quarters. Got it tied behind, and it amt
used to leading and don't walk up very
well. Pm doing all I can. Got the brake
man prodding it up with an umbrel and
an ear of corn tied to the bellrope. If you
think I'm going to start up and go bowling
along and yankthe horns off as good a steer
as there is in this state, why, you're mis-
taken, that's alll'-Converse County (Wy.l
Press.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
What are the followers of the

'Pfofessor-Wnat are the followers of the
politician?
Observation-Disclosures.
Professor-What do the earnest workers
obey.
Readyjaw-The call to duty.
PROFESSIONALISM do the henchmen obey!
Readyjaw-The behest of their party
boss.
Professor-Correct. Are there other names
for henchmen?
Readyjaw-Local henchmen are ''heel-
ers." Taken as a whole, especially at con-
vention time, the body of henchmen consti-
tutes cohorts"
Professor-How does one of our speakers
handle the opposition?
Readyjaw-He scores them. A seceder
from the opposition is bitter and speaks
of them bitterly"
PROFESSIONALISM you interview a man
and he cannot answer a certain question,
how do you begin his reply?
Readyjaw-Well, l suppose 1 should be-
gin it, II don't know" or II cannot say as
to that"
Professor-Tut, tut, Mr.. Readyjaw. l
am surprised at you. All, Mr.. Futurefake!
Futurefake-He should begin it, THAT ]
cannot say"
Professionalism, Mr.. Futurefake. You
lave studied your lesson. He ought also
by all means work in the phrase much
chagrined," and begin his last paragraph
with, You may put me on record as stat
ing that in my opinion it is time to call a
halt" Mr.. Readyjaw, you must master
the A 3 G. Of political writing in the bright,
brainy and breezy school if you ever expect
to make your mark in that directiOn.-NeW
York Tribune.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
Accidents Will Happen.

That's the most lifelike wax figure ]
ever saw" said somebody in the crowd that
had gathered in front of the display win
dow. 1T winks it's eyes"
''It has genuine eyelashes, too" said an
other.
Its hair is jute," observed a third.
"Jute nothing! That's real hair. But
it's mouth is too large, and its cheeks are a
little too red. They always overdo it when
they attempt to initiate nature"
Its a good imitation" said an old gen
tleman, surveying the figure critically
through his glasses. 1.-The best I ever saw
But the movement of the eyes is too me-
chanical, and one of them is a trife out OF
focus"
At this ju~ncture the wax figure, after a
brief preliminary paroxysm, sneezed vic
lently, and the procession moved on.-Chi-
cage Tribune.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
"YoU CAN voUCH FOR THE CoLoR?"

1OU IAN NOONh TO1s III SOAON'
ooh, certainly! Being that I am in the
right, 1 can afford to forgive him and
laugh in my sleeve"
The Grow had hardly departed when
along came the Buzzard, and after some
general remarks about the weather and
the crop prospects he said:
"Oh, by the way, I wish you'd set
tie a disputed point. I was talking with
that bigoted and cross eyed Crow the other
day, and he stuck to it that Farmer John
sons Darn doors were painted red"
Did, eh? The color isl
blue, of course! Anybody with half
an eye can see that. You can vouch for
the color?"
"Oh, of course! However, you go and
make up with the Grow. Just let him
keep right on thinking the color is red. 1t
will be a good joke on him"
$50 it will! Ha, ha, hal"
AS the Buzzard departed the Fox, WING
had come up in time to catch the drift o.
things, looked up at the Owl and asked:
You have seen those barn doors, have
your" -
"a hundred times"
"And the color isl
"Neither red nor blue, but chrome val.
ler."
"Then why didn't you SO decide?"
my dear Reynard," replied the Owl,
with a wink of his left eye, 1.-The man who
decides between two disputants may be
Just and right, but he is certain to be
called a fool by both. By the use of a lit
tie diplomacy 1 have not only healed a
quarrel, but preserved two friends"
M. QUAD.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
AN FABLE.
Showing That an Owl Is Equal to Almost
Any Occasion.

Showing That an Owl Is Equal to Almost
Any Occasion.
Once upon a time the Crow came TO the
Owl and awoke him from his midday
Aumbers to say:
20 wise bird, but 1 ave had a dispute
with the Buzzard and want your decision
in the matter. We were speaking aoour
Farmer Johnson's barn doors, and that OBJ
stinate minded and n~earsighted Buzzard
at once commended that they were painted
blue"
But the color is
Red. of course! I stuck to it, n he
stuck to blue, and as a consequence we
ouarreled. You have seen the doors and
know that I am right"
"Of course, - replied the Owl, b don't
say anything to the Buzzard about it. Let
him keep right on thinking as he will, but
be friends with him again."
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
The b Turned.

Irate Father-I suppose you remember
you wanted to marry that bookkeeper of
mine about a year ago?
Daughter-Yes, father.
"a pretty sort of man you picked out.
He has decamped with my whole fortune"
You remember, father, that you told
him he could not have me until he got
rich, don't you?"
'.Of course, the young"-
81 have just received a telegram from
him at Madrid, saying he is rich now. but
is perfectly willing to marry a poor mans
daughter. "-TitBits.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
Submarines.

As the fish entered his home his wife re-
coiled with a shrek of horror.
what" she demanded in a frenzy, sis
that string hanging out of your MOUTH"
He heard her not.
Darling" he implored, my travelling
bag"
With trembling hand she collected a col
lar and a pair of socks.
"Mylife," the husband hastily continued,
II am caught. All I ask of you is that you
do not believe all the lies that will be told
about me-"
With a convulsive pressure of the hand
he was gone.-Detroit Tribune.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
BuckIen's Arnica SaIve.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped hands, Chilblains
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and positively
cures Piles, or no pay required. 1t is guar
anteed to give perfect satisfaction, or money
refunded. Price Is cents per box. Forsale
by r. Blacknall e. Son.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12

Paddington (trembling) is Mr.. Nit
ford in?
Servant-No, sir. He went out 10 min,
utes q.
Paddington with beaming cou%ntenance,
All, will you kindly give my card to Miss
Mitford?-Brooklyn Life.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12

Rev. T. J. Gattis this.morning returned
from Burlington.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
Natural.

To the stranger within the gates they came
in deep solicitude, their faces beaming with
kindness and hospitality.
Can we do aught," they asked, ito make
our humble abode seem more like home to
your"
yes"
He glanced hurriedly about the apart
ment.
Hang these rugs" he commanded deci-
sively, over the gas jet, put the piano out
in the woodshed. place a pail of soapsuds in
the middle Of the parlor floor and'-
His voice sank to a whisper.
ia broken doughnut and a cold pota-
to on the window sill. Thank you. You
are very kind, / am sure"
He laughed a hollow, affected laugh and
relapsed into silence. Detroit Tribune.
Ask your grocer for Rex Baking Pow
ders it is pronounced the best on the
market and sells for 10 cents per pound.
w. III. PROCTOR,
Agent for the Factory.
Rev. T. ]. Gattis~ this.morning returned
from Burlington.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
Qualified.

Editor-What makes you think you
would make a good literary man?
Applicant-Because [ can crowd more
into a little space than any man in New
York.
Editor-What was your former profes-
sion?
Applicant-Conductor on a cable car
New York World.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
a Disagreeab1e Habit.

Bounder-They say that the car of Rus
STA never unde any circumstances trusts
any one.
Rounder-Gad, Pm glad he isn't my tai
lor!-Truth.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
Rather Late.

The colored porter at a Texas hotel was
instructed to awaken a traveller at 9 O'Clock.
At the appointed hour the negro pounded
at the door.
Hits 9 o'clock, boss"
Its 9 o'clock already! Why didn't you
tell me that sooner?"-Texas Siftings.
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
His Occupation.

Jobley-Doing anything now, Hobleys
Hobley-Yes. Writing for the press.
Jobley-Stories or editorials?
neutrality-suspicious..
The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1894-05-12
Retrospective.

Edith thought you and Mabel were
fast friends. .
Nellie-We used to be.
"And you are not now?"
NO"
.sWbat was his name?"-New York
Weekly.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
Putting n Tax ON Grave.

The members OF tho Paris munich
pal council have little difficulty in
meeting any deficit in their budget.
They are threatened with one now,
and consequently have resolved to
nut fresh tax on funerals. Strictly
speaking, OF course. this will take
the form OF enhanced fees to be paid
by the public. as there are no pri-
yate undertakers in the French capi-
tai. According to the tariff which
has been in vogue during the pres
ent regime, the price of freehold
grave, two square yards In size, is
$40, but there is II progressive scale,
so that third yard costs 5000 extra
and the fourth the same amount
again, while the fifth and sixth are
charged 5000 each, and every yard
above a sixth costs no less than $4Ol
The municipality propose to increase
the price of the first two yards to
300. and to remodel the scale ol
charges in other ways, SO that 1t is
estimated there will be an increased
revenue of $l27.6 600 per annum. -
London Tid-Bits.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
Word. Totally Misunderstood.

An English Clergyman OF great on
perience states that the bridegrooms
OF the poorer classes habitually say,
when repeating the marriage cere-
mony after the priest: with all my
worldly goods thee and thou" dn-
stead OF "thee endow"). james Payn
tells of little relative who was ac-
customed to say his prayers at his
mothers knee for years before she
discovered that in the Lords prayer
he always said "Iiarold be thy name, y
insteaa OF "hallowed," word tC
which he attached no meaning what.
ever. In religious newspaper, the
other day, "a Schoolmnster" writes
1.-The paraphrase OF even SO we'll
known q devotional exercise as the
creed, from the pen OF a schoolboy,
is often something almost incredible.
send the last that has come under
my notice: Born under the vergan
merry, suppered unto ponchers piler.
-Argonaut
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
FACT AND FANCY.

Mrs. John Clay, widow of Ken
tucky stock breeder, left In her will
provision for the care of every super
animated animal on the farm.
Constantinople has 200, 900 people
who are kept in order by 900 police
men. In 1890 only 5000 arrests were
made; but fifty for drunkenness.
George Sands used to be SO dull at
the breakfast table as to be source
of apprehension to her friends. II
was only in the evening that she be-
came brilliant.
Two girls in Portland, Me, never
quarrel about who shall pay car fare.
II the number of the car is even Ethel
paws; if it is odd Maud fishes a dime
out of her purse.
The recent Columbian exposition
was the only one to compensate for
eign Jurors. Two hundred thousand
dollars was paid out to judges, both
foreign and native.
Land has sold in Chicago at higher
rate than in New York, $4,000 pei
square foot, us against $4,000. A
quarter of an acre in the heart of the
town is worth 81 i,25o,OO0.
While an Alabama burglar was ran
sacleing store, which he had felon
iously entered, a spark from his cigar
fell into an open powder keg and he
was blown up with the place.
When the ostrich is to be divestet
of its plumage long hood is placed
on its head, and it is then confined il
rallied inclosurc about three fec
square. The birds rarely show fight
In suit in Brooklyn recently 1t wa
developed that the receipts of forty
eight nickel-in-thc-slot machines uset
in the sale of music, etc, at Coney
island for three and half month";
were 4,471.
An effort is being made to have TIL,
Smithsonian institution ut Washing
ton establish salt water aquarium a
or near Tacoma on Puget sound. TIL,
government has been asked to sent
one of the aquariums exhibited a
Chicago.
An engine on the Pennsylvania
railroad, drawing special car, mad,
the run from Philadelphia to Harris
burg, distance of 1o5 miles, in on,
hour and fifty minutes. The. tastes
time previously made between thes,
two cities was two hours and fiy,
| minutes
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
Western News Notes.

Hunters are reported to be slaugh-
tering game in Yellowstone Park.
The Metlodists have just complet-
ed handsome new edifce at Chey-
enne.
I There is reported to have been a
great loss Of stock in Wyoming as a
result Of the terrible snow storms of
last week.
The mean temperature for April at
Denver during the past twenty-five
years was AZ degrees, and the average
rainfall was 9 02 inches.
The three Indians who murdered
the trader, ID. NJ. Smith, at Defiance,
New Mexico, have been turned over to
the authorities by their chief
ID. NJ. Smith, trader at Defiance,
New Mexico, was recently wounded
by Navajoes who afterwards robbed
his store. Lieutenant Plummer is
after them.
The board of control of the Reform
School at Golden has appointed G. A.
Gerard of Fort Morgan as superinten-
dent. He is said to have had expert
ence in educational and reform work.
On Monday Judge Caldwell began
to hear arguments in the appeal of the
Union Pacific receivers from Judge
Hallett's decision enforcing the con-
tracts between that road and the Den
yer q Gulf
A heavy snow storm ragged across
the plains on the 21st. The storm
was very severe in Northeastern Colo
rady and Eastern Wyoming. The
railroad was blocked for distance Of
200 miles east Of Cheyenne.
'rhirty-five of the Swedes who came
to Colorado on an excursion have set
Arkansas river near Las Animas with
their families. They have already
started church with membership of
forty three.
The Penitentes in the vicinity of
Taos, New Mexico, are reported as
having been very diligent in whip
ping themselves during the past lenten
season. 1t was popular diversion
with outsiders from Santa Fe to go out
to witness the fagellations.
In compliance with mandamus Of
the Wyoming Supreme Court, Secre-
tary of State Barber has attested the
commission of Louis Miller Of Larami,
as state fish commissioner, issued by
Governor Osborne some months ago
1t is presumed that Mr.. Miller will in
stitute quo warranto proceedings t.
oust Mr.. Schnitger, the present incum
bent, from Office.
Great interest is being taken il
Utah in the organization Of the Utal
National Guard. Governor West ant
military staff have mustered in tw,
companies of infantry and one of cav
airy at Salt Lake, one company of in
fantry and one of cavalry at Ogden
and another company at Provo. Alto
gether, the uniformed militia provid
ed for by the law amounts to nearly
4, 900 men.
Track laying on the Florence &
Cripple Creek railroad reached the
McCourt mining district, which is fif
teen miles out, on the oath. Thi
puts the company through the eigh
miles canon and over all the trus
bridges. From now on track layin,
will go at the rate of three quarters t.
one mile Of track every day, as from
McCourt the track is comparativel.
straight and smooth. The compan.
will open the road for business at Rob
inson station by April for the Grip
pie Creek district.
|
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
ANOTHER DECISION.
The District Court Gives an Opinion
supporting tho New Board.

The District Court Gives an Opinion
Supporting tho New Board.
Following the opinion of the Su-
preme Court delivered Saturday came
another opinion on Monday from
Judge Glynn, throwing more light on
the Denver police board muddle.
Judge Glynn of Holyoke, sitting in
the Arapahoc District Court in the
place of Judge Graham, passed judg-
ment on Mayor Van Horn and Messrs.
Mullins and Barnes of the new board,
who we're charged with contempt Of
court. They had disregarded the in
junction previously issued by Judge
Graham. Both sides presented lengthy
arguments, and some evidence bearing
on the question.
The court discharged the defendants
on the ground that that portion Of the
writ of injunction under which the
alleged contempt was committed was
void. The court also quashed the
whole injunction issued by Judge
Graham, holding that those who seek
equity must do equity, and that Orr
and Martin had themselves been
guilty of most censurable actions in
fortifying the city hall with dynamite,
etc.
The decision also holds that Null
Inns and Barnes are clearly entitled to
the offices, and that Orr and Martin
are usurpers. II the latter desire any
further remedy they must come before
the court, as did ex-Commissioner
Phelps in the Trimble case, from the
Outside"
The members Of the new board went
at once to the city hall and appointed
John F. Farley chief Of police, Daniel
Oswald first lieutenant and Michael
Mahoaey second lieutenant. It also
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

The king of Dahomey, wishing to
communicate with his father, VINO
hal the excellent fortune to be dead.
cut off the head OF his mother so that
she could act As messenger. AS an
instance OF tilial devotion the case is
complex and further confused by the
circumstance that while the heads
man was at work the king looked on
calmly smoking pipe. The king is
clearly entitled to some recognition
He deserves at least the privilege OF
being sent forthwith to Join his Ia
mented parents. bearing his own
head under his arm.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

HERMAN Spiro of Knoxville. Tenn,
was afraid that his body Id be
stolen for the benefit of some med
ical college so no had his brother
put some dynamite In his grave in
such a manner that it would explode
rs soon as a spade was set In the
earth. Some people may think that
he was a heartlsss man to consider
his corpse worth more than those of
three or four medical students, but
think of the lives he might have
saved by killing the students.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

IN Washington there is crank
whose mania is to hug such unpro-
tected females as he may meet on
the street Those subjected to the
process have been very angry. Re-
Gently the crank seized woman
dragged her to lamp that he might
realize MS bliss, took one look, and
then let her go unhugged. Yet be-
side the anger of this fortunate wo-
man the wrath of the women who
had been rudely embraced appears of
insigniticance almost pitifu. 1t does
not seem altogether easy to please
the ladies'
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
Deuycr Markets.

Eggs, ranch Ice, state lie; butter,
best creamery 24(d25c, dairy 15c; hay,
upland baled s1lCa$12, second bottom$s
CAS- so; alfalfa *6. SO; ;oats 81. 1901. 10;
potatoes $l.0O(a$1. 10; cattle. choice
steerss 2. 9O(d*3 %, cows q. 10(a$2. so,
native feeders ~. 6O(a*3 90; hogs, choice
s4.50; spring chickens $2.5O(ge3. 90
per dos. turkeys 10.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

The city council of Mexico has
granted concession for messenger
service like that in this country. By
reason of slowness OF boys and high
price for their time the service is
sadly out of favor here; but so far as
dash in getting to the end OF their
runs is concerned the boys will find
Mexico an ideal country. They need
never hurry there. And their en-
ployers will find it necessary to col
1ect invariably in advance il they are
in hurry with their revenues
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

reappointed the policemen who had
been discharged by the old board for
refusing to sign an agreement to do
battle for the old members as against
the new.
1t was the. intention of the new
board to bring mandamus proceedings
against the two members of the old
board to compel them to vacate, but
the Supreme Court interfcred before
this could be done. Application was
made to the higher tribunal later in
the evening by Messrs. Wells, Taylor
& Taylor, attorneys for Messrs. Orr
and Martin, for writ of error and in
junction to keep the new board from
interfering with their clients. The
petition recited that the Graham in
juntion was dissolved without due pro-
ceedings, that testimony was intro
duced into the contempt hearing which
was irrelevant, because those charged
with contempt admitted their guilt. II
was held that unless something was
done bloodshed would surely follow.
The Supreme Court agreed to consid,
er the application for the restraining
order on Wednesday, at which time
the whole controversy will be gone
into.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

down completely, whom measured for
the irons Electricity seems 70 oner
the most efficient. least repugnant
and certainly swiftest mode for TAX
ing life. II has been argued that
the victims suffer even while being
electrocuted, but nothing OF this ns-
ture has peen proved, and 1t certain
ly is far more humane than hanging.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
Another Dec,.,on-Ano,hsr InJu.ction

Another Decision-Anothsr InJuaction.
The appeal of Orr and Martin of the
old Denver police board to the Su-
preme Court was rejected by the court.
1t refused to review the action of
Judge Glynn in dismissing the in
junction.
Orr and Martins attorneys then ap-
piled to Judge Allen, also of the dis
trict court, for an injunction. He is
sued temporary injunction against
Mullins and Barnes, intended to re-
strain them from interfering with the
old board until such time as the quo
warranto proceedings already insti-
tuted by the district attorney had been
decided by the court.
Before the attorneys could get this
injunction served the new board ap-
pointed II. NJ. Behymer for chief of
police, and steps were taken to organ
ize a new force. The result was that
there came near being a riot, but the
injunction was finally served and on
the advice of their lawyers the new
board ceased their activities.
Governor Waite was reported to be
very impatient of the delay in seating
the new board and threatened to de-
clare martial law,
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

WILLIAM CULLEN BREW sTER, the
New York millionaire, objects to
Count Henri de Frankenstein as a
son-in-law, but fears that the count
will marry his daughter willy-nilly.
If Mr.. Brewster really wants to pre-
vent the match let him announce
that he has disinherited his daugh-
ter, and then watch the aristocratic
coat-tails of the count futter toward
the steamship dock.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31

I SEVERAL foreign governments are
urging their people not to emf
crate TO America Residents OF the
United States are prone to find fault
with the management of affairs
abroad, out in this instance the only
comment heard resembles a rather
emphatic amen There seem to be
already here as many poverty
stricken aliens as can starve to death
comfortably.
The Bessemer indicator., 1894-03-31
countr'

BRITISH soldiers. who slaughtered
the ENJOYS sent out by the dusky
king, Lobengula, have been exboner-
atod. The investigation leading up
to this pleasant document was con-
dncted by British authority. The
comments of Lobengula might not be
particularly effective, but an unex-
purgated translation OF them would
be interesting.