The Opelousas courier., 1894-02-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY,

The maids of old were not necessarily
old maids Halo.
Cold weather does'ntseem to nip the
society bud.-Puck.
The trouble with the love of & bon
net is the hate of a bill.
Some men aim SO high that their
arrows cut nothing but the air.-Puck.
The great trouble with the budding
genius is that he usually nipped in the
bud.
"How strangely Putter actsl Isn't
he a little OFF," "No, but the market
is. "-Boston Transcript.
When a minister is installed there is
a charge to the people. and paying HE
salary is another one.-Lowell Courier.
III like this hat" said Isabel.
SIT makes nv face look long and well
But when dear father saw the bill
It made his face look longer still"
Puck.
Time is money. they say. And it
has been noticed that it takes a good
deal of money to have a good time. =
Truth.
A man is much like q razor, because
O can't tell how sharp he can be un-
til he is completely strapped. Texas
Siftihgs.
"See that man yonder?' "Yes.'
"Beenin Congress ten years. "What's
his record?" 'Ten Years Atlanta
Constitution.
II surely must be safe to say.
Without the least transgression,
That he who "gives himself away
Has lost his self-possession.
~-Raymond's Monthly.
"Methinks I scent the morning air."
remarked the swell collector, a. he
drove down Main street at 3 a. NJ
Buffalo Courier.
Secret societies have charms that
are especially attractive to the man
who likes to make a gaudy display on
his watch-chain.-Puck.
He-s'Did you say the furniture
vas Louis XIV?" She Eyes. Why?"
He-"The bills suggest the Reign of
Terror. Beau Monde.
"What a big hill 7 am getting to
bel" said the ambitious ridge Of dirt
near the river. But it was only a
bluff. Chicago Tribune.
81 would not live Away" he sang,
The notes he loved to frame;
But he wore a chest protector and
His gum shoes, just the same.
Washington Star.
Blood may be thicker than water,
but did any one know a girl who would
not steal her brothers cigars to give
| to some one else?-Truth.
George-"You would marry the big.
gest fool in the world if he asked you,
wouldn't you?' Lthel-"Oh, George,
this is so sudden. Vogue.
Tramp-"Madam, I was not always
thus" Madam-"No. It was your
other arm you had in Ii sling this
morning Detroit Tribune.
When you are buying q horse don't
consult a pedestrian, mi when you
are counting a woman don't ask advice,
ola bachelor. -Hawkinsvill Dispatch.
There is this singularity about pho.
t~ographs. A pretty picture is invari
ably .tthe perfect image of her. while
a poor picture 'doesn't look q bit
like her. Boston Transcript.
The Gar cried boldly "give US peace"
The Frenchman cried "ofcourse!
Then each one fastened to increase
His land and naval force.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Miss Manhattan (maliciously)-s'You
must miss the dear old London foss
very much Lord Tuffnutt Qottily)
-sI do. But | an partially compen.
stated by your charming New York
mud. "-Vogue.
What is the difference between
the ancient Romans and the modern
Americans?' "Give it up "The
Romans used to urn their dead, while
the Americans have to earn their lly.
ing."-Texas Siftings.
The rain came down in torrents,
With a splishS-splashy swash.
And it soaked the foolish fellow
Who had soaked his macintosh.
.3afu,ro4-sWashington News.
"My friend,i'd said the solemn old