Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1894-08-24
A TARIFF CATECHISM
Montreal Herald

-AONAftAt AAlF 49,
The following short catechism was
found among the papers OF George
Otis, a wealthy American recently de-
ceased. It's published here to show
what queer way he had Of looking at
things. Still, that may have been be-
cause things are so very queer:
Q. What is the meaning OF the word
TARIFF"
A. 1t is so called because, hundreds
of years ago, sea pirates at Tariifa,
Spain, forced every passing vessel TO
pay for the privilege of going into ana
from the Mediterranean Sea.
.. What is its meaning now?
A. A certain sum forced from the
people by land pirates.
Q. Why do you say taken by force?
A. Because Congress says to the peo-
pie. stand and deliver"
0. Stard and deliver TO whom?
A. To the manufacturers, etc.
o. In which part Of the Constitution
does Congress find power to pass a law
compelling the poor TO support the rienT
A. In no part.
o. Then where did 1t find the power?
A. In the Bible.
a Give the book, chapter and verse.
A. Matthew, 18TH chapter, 18th
verse. .For whatsoever hath, TO him
shall be given, and be shall have more
abundance; but whosoever hath not,
from him shall be taken away even that
which ne hathI
O. Is such law republican in the
sense Of being democratic-a govern
Al. Ia mi
A. No. II is aristocratic.
Q. What do yos mean oy ari'to-
cratic?
A. A government wherein the few
rule the many; where the many work to
support the privileged few.
o. Explain how the tariff law estao'
UsSes sn aristocracy in a Democratic
Government?
A. Congress says to the poor, Be-
cause this or that man is rich and pro-
duces iron, or cotton goods, or WOODEN
goods, YOU shall pay him so much
money for so many pounds, or yards, or
90 naked aud work without tools
Q. What reason does Congress give
for such a tyrannical law?
A. Congress says, the law is diff
ferentiation Of industrial function"
which means that industry IL the fame
tlon of the poor, and the difference
goes TO the rich.
Q. Is that the only reason Congress
gives?
A. No. 1t says the tariff is intended
10 foster infant Industries at home.
O. Are the iron, cotton aud wool in
dustries infants?
A. No. They are hundred years
o. What date has Congress fixed for
those industries to become OF age?
A. When Gabriel blows his horn.
One Congressman did move to make the
time later, but when reminded that
asbestos was not protected, he said be
would withdraw bis motion, 'a9 1t
would do no good after Gaoe blew" He
sighed and sat down.
Q. What is the meaning Of protec-
tive TARIFF
A. Protection Of the rich from get
ting poor, and Of the poor from getting
rich.
o. What is the difference between
the tenants In Ireland and the farmers
in American
A. None. In both cases the tax
qatherer lives in the East, and the
Sheriff is after both.
o. Is there any similarity in the
condition Of many Of the Irish tenants
and American farmers?
A. Yes. The tenants are too poor
TO STAY, and the farmers are too poor to
leave.
Q. Is that the only benefit the protec-
tive tariff coniers upon the poor
A. No. 1t improves. their morals;
keeps them contented; keeps down use
less desires.
Q. How does protection produce such
happy results?
a. The poor have to work so hard 10
support the rich they have no time for
mischief. Having no money to leave
home or travel, they see nothing, AID
their desires are kept dormant. That
brings content.