The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1894-12-12
DtscoRDs IN MARRIAGE.
An italian "Soul Surgeon Unveils Some
of the Causes of Marital Misery.

An italian "Soul Surgeon Unveils Some
of the Causes of Marital Misery.
The want of harmony in sentiment
has only too many and too varied forms
! in the marriage relation, writes P~of.
Paolo Montegazza on the art of taking
wife, but at the foundation there is al
ways this skeleton: That which like
you dislike; that which makes you
happy makes me suffer-"
Woman is an ermine, who allows her.
sslf to be killed rather than cross e field
of snow soiled by mud. Man, on the
contrary, is like chimpanzee, who
loves dirt and soils himself with it.
There is no part of his body or soul
which does not love this mud. How
can two such creatures live together?
He is an optimist even to cynicism, an
egotist even to alteration of himself, and
his motto is: "Apres moi lie deluge"
She is a pessimist from having placed
her ideal so high that no human hand
can reach it. She cannot live an hour
without loving and dedicating a thought
an act or sacrifice to the good of some
fellow-creature. How could they live
together?
He has never felt the want of the
supernatural and believes neither in
God nor in soul. She was born a
mystic, and the maternal education has
made her religious and superstitious.
She has avery strong tendency to as
ceticism How could two such beings
be happy together?
He is frank, expansive even to impru-
dence, impetuous even to wrath. He
says out straightly what he thinks,
sWears and curses, only to forget with
In an hour the storm which overwhelm-
ed him. She is close, shut as with
seven seals, timid, difident, and only
expresses the tenth part of what she
feels, and even regrets that slight ex-
pansion. Susceptible as a sensitive
plant, she starts if she meets grain of
sand, hair or feather which touches
her. She finds an offense and want of
respect in everything, suspects evil
everywhere and even in good seeks bad
intentions with all the zeal of an inquis-
itor. Will these two live happily to-
gether?
He is misanthrope from Incidence
and diffidence; he detests society and
avoids it. She adores cheerful society,
garrulous and merry talk, theaters,
balls, not that she may seek an oppor-
tunity for sin in these places, but SIM
ply because she adores what is noisy
and deafening. Joining these two to-
gether-how can they possibly bless
matrimonyP
By instinct and education he is demo-
cratic. detests all forms of despotism
from the tailor to the government He
is socialist and would be an anarchist
if he had not sound heart and did not
love his kind passionately. She is of
decayed noble family, keeps and adores
the family coat of arms; when any one
from politeness calls her marchioness
she reddens with pleasure and her heart
swells with pride. She has profound
and sincere respect for authority and
bows reverently before priests, soldiers,
millionaires and princes. Can these
two together bless "life"?
He is avaricious, but will not confess
to it; he makes secret of his income
to be able to complain constantly of his
poverty. Nothing escapes his domestic
financial inquisition. Not halfpenny
is given in aims at his door, not a match
burned uselessly. Coffee grounds are
never thrown away without first ex-
tracing a second and third edition. The
queruious waifings of his laments over
excessive expenditure and taxation fill
d
mildew and closeness. She is generous
and noble in her hospitalities and char
tiles. She likes enjoyment herself and
to make the enjoyment of others and to
hear it responded to by all with Thank
you, thank you!" She cannot under
stand how one can torment oneself to-
day thinking of the still distant day
after tomorrow; even the fascination
of foi fO- oil
She believes warmly in Providence and
fortune and earnestly defends the
thoughtless And these two are hus-
band and wife!
He is always in a state of fehrile ex-
citement or of depression. He declares
to all that the most unhappy man is he
who feels no enthusiasm and that the
most happy man is he who feels every
thing. and hopes that he himself is such
one. She, instead, is always cold,
derides every form of enthusiasm be-
cause it seems to her species of mad
ness; detests poetry, all psychical pleas
ures and all passions when they pass 10
degrees centigrude; derides heroism,
sacrifice and martyrdom, contenting
herself by declaring it TO be the matter
of novel or stage play. And these
two-can they live happily togetherP
These few examples, taken from the
stage of the real world, will be suffi-
cient to give you an idea of the many
discords of character one finds in the
union of marriage. Certainly all are
not so fragrant or so keenly accentuated,
but they are more complex and compli-
Gated, while the discord is rarely upon
a single subject, upon one note only,
but upon MANY tODether