The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1894-12-18
PITH AND POINT.

The passing show-A panorama.
Washboards sometimes keep better
company than pianos. Puck.
a sailors stockings are never made
from yarn of his own spinning
Truth.
Circumstances are such that many
man cares for relatives for whom no
really cares nothing. Puck.
1t is frequently remarked in tailor
shops that bank clerks are very partial
to checks. - Hartford Journal.
She gave mo back my heart. but OIL
II was different thing
When requested her TO senl
Me back that diamond ring.
Truth.
Patriotism does not consist in boast
ing of the country's past, but in try
ing to make her future what it ought
to be. Puck.
Robbins -"Highbeo is genius"
Bradford-''Cnn do anything, sup
pOse?" Robbins--"Ye anything ex-
cept make n living. Truth.
"When sho Tilted you did you de-
clare to her that you could never love
nnother?" "Oh, yes. / didn't for
get my manners entirely. Puck.
He went a-hunting Tor wife
As bravely you please,
Aud In the course OF time he baggcd-
His trousers at the knees.
Puck.
Golf takes lots of room and is only
IN idealized form of Shiny" So
you needn't mind if you have not
been Gin it" this year. You will bo
next Truth
The pessimist is person whose
mind is divided between the belief
that things are as bad as they can be,
and the expectation that they will bo
worse. Puck.
Fidgety Lady-"But what am / to
do can't ride with my back to the
cngine?" insolent Youth -"Better
speak to the guard He'll turn the
rain round. Tid-Bits.
81 told my friend Emma, under
promise of the strictest secrecy, that
] am engaged to the Lieutenant, and
the spiteful thing actually kept the
secret. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
When Music, heavenly maid, WIS young,
An innoc 3nt kind girl was she,
VINO never on the public sprung
Daisy Bell" or Sweet Marie"
Kansas City journal.
operate Composer Whose first act,
consisting entirely of plagarized mu-
sic, is being hissedl -"Great Scottl
What will they do when they hear
my own music in the next act ?"-
Fliegende Blaetter.
A man, with donkey for sale, hear
ing that friend wanted to buy one,
sent him the following written on
postal card: "Dear Jack, if you are
don't forget me. "--Tit-Bits.
Now doth the little busy beo
Discover with dismay
That honey which he stored with giles
By man IS snatched away.
Washington Star
Steersman during exciting yacht
rs,e) Man overheard! Shall wee
stop, or Jet him drown?'' Captain
promptly must stop and pick
him mp. It's against the rules to drop
any ballast during a race Harlem
Life.
Il have heard it said, Miss Emma,
that kiss without love tastes like an
egg without salt. Is that true?" 81
don't know really cannot have
never in my life" Come now.
Miss Emma 70 Eaten an egg without
salt. Ell Diluvio.
Fogg Poverty is misfortune,
not n crime" Figg--'T don't know
about that; at any rate poverty has
been the cause OF much poetry writ
ing Fog-"You mean the writing
of poetry has been the cause of much
poverty. Boston Transcript.
Judge Whaley, of Madison, Texas.
declined TO hold small boy who had
been arrested for eating "A dinner that
had been sent TO n schoolmate. No
doubt the judge thought of the safe
old axiom, ats n wise child that
knows its own fodder. -PhiladeIphia
Ledger.
Where were you employed
last?' Man Servant -"At writing
Gent-"What we're Won
required TO do?" Man Servant-"T
had to keep shaking the table when
new pupil wrote the words, This is my
before commencing to
take lessons. "-Ulk.
One day the children were having
nm object lesson on the blue heron.
The teacher called attention TO it's
small tail, saying, "Tho bird has no
tail 60 speak Of " The next day she
asked the scholars to write u descrip-
ton of the bird, and little German
girl wound mp by saying, "The blue
heron has u tail, but it must not DO
talked about. BabyhooJ.