Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-08-30
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and JokeIets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

Let Us All Laugh.
DON'T forget, then AuD. that
your master is colonel" "Oh, I
adore soldiers, ma'am. It'd Bits.
'DID you ever go to Bins, the
tailor?' Yes Got two suits from
him. One dress suit One law suit
Very expensive man."
W1FE-''Don't you believe the gas
meter is defective in some way?"
that it is able to I'll the bill every
month
SHE-''You are awruily young to
be called colonel He-"Well, /
have been in eighteen engagements
and the girl and fought in every
one. New York News.
EAsTERLY--"I suppose the cyclones
you have out here often lift every
thing right off Of farm" Westerly
-"Er-yes; eyeryt hing except the
mortgage. ~ Blu ffalo Courier.
ToMMY-"Paw, I heard a man say
that Mr.. Bats was a self~made man.
What is a self-made man." Mr..
Tinkle-"A man who knows how to
! buy a dollars worth of work fer SO
cents"
LOVE in cottage is becoming a.
board of health affair. Although
bread has thus far been exempt,
diphtheria bacilli have been found In.
| the cheese and kisses -Philadelphia
| Ledger.
| STILLINGFLEET-"W would you
| do with tailor who never has your
| trousers done at the time he has con-
| tracted to deliver them?" Wien
| biddle-"Sue him for breeches of
| promise.
THE sarcastic girl always says lots
of brilliant things in the course of
her career, but she doesn't usually
get married as young rs the majority
of her high school classmates do
Somerville Journal.
MRS. SKELETON BANe-"What new
your new COOKE" Mrs. Tinkle-"A
| whole new dinner set and several ex-
ira pieces bes des, and she's only
been here week"
NURsE-"Luke at the awkward
little rascal! Tryin' to put his tath-
| in ring in his eye" Fond Mother
! at is not aWkwaIdness at all, Mary
| Jane; it is instinct He takes it for
monocle. indianapolis Journal ~
"KRAUsE will have it that he made
speech Of two hours duration at
! the meeting, bat ] ee it only takes
up the space OF half a column in the
papers" "Ah; but, you know,
Krause stammer & p EumOriStiche
| Blaetter.
STUDIoUs BoY-"Whati is the mean
| ing of market value and intrinsic
| valued" Father-"The market val
ue' is the price you pay for thing;
intrinsic value is what you get when
you sell it to q second-dealer. % It'd
Bits.
AMY relne mbcr your friend
| Clare married. Mr. Nicotine so as to
reform him He was such an intern
| perate smoker How did she sue
ceed?" Joe-"Perfectly. He gave up
toba ;co entirely--aDd took to drink ;"
| -Arkansaw Traveller
"HoT," he exclaimed We'll. /
| should say 81. And The least exer-
| zion wears me all out" And while
bis wife toted crying baby around
| he wandered downtown and walked
| eight miles and forty two laps around
| a billiard table minneapolis Jour
nal
| WHEN young man returns from
picnic and say S he had good time,
after rowing boats and pu ling lilies.
| for summer girls and eating lunch in
pasture with the bugs, it is Just as
! much lie as though he said he
caught three hundred fish or killed a
bear. Globe.
| GLAssEATER-An'w ot's de trouble
now? Manager = De two headed
mans more bodder den he's wort
came around tonight wild de weeks
salary, an de right head sa d it was
his turn ter get de s"ag: den up pops
de left an calls de right head liar;
an dere scrappin' yet'-Syracuse
| Post.
HE-"I love you. dearest, and I
ne, er shall love you one whit less 1t.
shall be my purpose rs long as live
to make you happy and cOntented. =
She-"Yes. yes: ] We been married be-
/ fore. Let us come down to something
| practical. How much are you going
| to allow me per week for spending
money!"
| II WONDER if it is necessary to bal
ance books in business?" said Mrs.
Smith addressing MIS- Jones II
don't know: but why do you ask?"
| answered the latter lady. II was
thinking if it was absolutely neces-
sary they ought to do away with 1t,
| for nv husband n yer stays down to
his Office at night to balance his