davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
ON THE SAME ERRANp.

Two Drummers who struck a Town that,
.Stumped Them.
The train had stopped at a measly
little town in Indiana and the drum
mer got up from the crowd and went
out ON the platform for minute Or
two. When he returned one of the,
crowd said:
Been out to see some of your rela-
tives here?''
Hardly" responded the drummer,
but I've been in the town and know
it,
'How did it happen?"
"Well,' he said reminiscently, 'about
four years ago thought I'd make this,
place on one of my trips and sell bill
of goods orr bust hamestring. I go
in about ten o'clock in the morning
and worked all day trying to get
somebody to buy something, but a
more stupid lot of people I
never saw. Late in the evening L
went back to the tavern thoroughly
Disguised and there found man rep
resenting Chicago house. We got to-
talking and he told me he had got in
the day before but had been taken sick
about supper time after hard. days,
work. and had not been able to get out
of bed until one hour before appeared.
"'What are you doing hereG he. in.
quired of me.
".Tuying to sell goods, of oounse;' Il
responded
Shake. old man. he said, coming
over to me. Shake; by thunder L
didn't know there was another. as, big
a blamed fool as was in the business >
and then we entered into. compact
not to. give each other away, and. got
out of the place as soon as we could. ~
Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
Small Cities as State Capitals.

It is the custom of this country, al
most universally, to place the capital
of state in some town other than the
principal city of the state. The capital
of the United States, for that matter.
was SO placed in order that the con-
gress might not be subjected to local
influences. There is Springfield. ILL.,.
mere villege compared with Chicago;
Maine, Augusta, while Bangor is the
largest town; Connecticut, Hartford,
while New Haven is the largest town;
New Jersey, Trenton and Jersey City;
Maryland, Annapolis and Baltimore;
Delaware, Dover and Wilmington;
West Virginia, Charlestown and Wheel
ing; South Carolina, Columbia and
Charleston; Louisiana. Baton Rouge
and New Orleans; Missouri, jefferson
City and st. Louis; California, Sacra-
mento and San Francisco-and the
same state of affairs exists in many
other states.-St. Louis Globe Demo-
crat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
Rat. Forced to Keep Gina Ing.

Have you any idea why it is that
;ats, mice and squirrels are continually
gnawing at something? They do not
do this for 'pure devilment," as people
generally imagine, but because they
are forced to. Animals of that class,
especially the rats, have teeth which
continue to grow as long as their owner
lives. In the human species the teeth
are developed from pulps which are
absorbed and disappear as soon as the
second set are full grown, but in the
case of the much maligned rat the pulp
supply is perpetual, and is continually
secreting materials by which the in
cisors gain in length. This being the
case, the poor creature is compelled to
keep up his regular gnawing opera
tions in order to keep his teeth ground
off to a proper length.-St. Louis Re-
public.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15

Hello, there. Uncle Rastus, what's
this hear about your daughter suing
my coachman? What's the trouble?"
''Good mawnin', sab; we-well, I'll
tell you, sab; dat niger OBJ yourn wuz
q goin' with my gal; he says to
Ev'line: .Ev'line,' says he, I wants to
TX you will you hab me?' Well, sab,
Ev'line she says to dat niger, she don't
care if she do-and den he KEEP COM
in an a comm fo' about six months;
den he stopped. an sence dat time he
hab nothing to do with my gal. tell
her to sue him and she sue him. sah.''
why, he hasn't got cent in the
world; what's the use of bringing a
breach-of-promise suit against him?
Tell Evaline to go and look for some
other likely-looking niger"
Scuse me, sab; she not sum for
breach oh promise, sah.''
What in thunder is she suingsfor,
them"
''She want dat niger, sab; she's SUI
in fo' black-male, sab. indianapolis
Sentinel
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
THE STOLEN DIAMOND

The Accused Acquitted and the Accuser
Arrested.
COLUMBUS, O., March Gin the po--
lice court yesterday, Judge Martin dis
charged Dr.: A. j. Parke, who was
charged with stealing diamond from
a corpse, and held Grant Wilson, the
undertaker's hostler, who made the at
fidavit. for tine. theft.
1t is generally believed that the po-
lice made serious mistake in taking
Wilson's affidavit as ground for ar
rest, as he is an ex-convict.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
PITH AND POINT.


Time, tide and an heiress wait tor
no man.-Elmira Gazette.
1t is generally '.au up with man
when he begins to 90 down hil.-Bos.
ton Courier.
Few people recognize their own
game in the hands of another.-Mil-
waukee Journal.
1.-THE modern servant doesn't know
her place." ''She can't; she changes it
too often."-Puck.
Avoid whisky and water, my son, /"
said the fond father. 1T is dilution
and snare. "-Siftings.
Generally the more aimless boy
is the better he likes to run around
with acknowledgement Repub-
lican.
About the first thing wild young
lawyer proceeds to do is to dissolve
the injunctions of his father.-Galves-
ton News.
Birds of feather flock together.
but there's more in the size of the flock
than the kind of feathers.-Young
Mems Era.
And so, Mrs. De Gollx err, your
poor boy was killed by savages." ''Ah,
yes!' South African ''No-college. :"
Cleveland Plaindealer
-Jagson says his neighbours daugh-
ter, who is learning the piano, can not
be accused of fraudulent practice-it's
all sound.-Elmira Gazette.
-Tommy-"I guess Mrs. Jones must
have an awful poor cook" Mamma
''Why, dear?" Tommy-"'Cause she
gave me two pieces of her pie
-"They say old Snively experienced
change of heart before he died" Il
don't know. The relatives wouldn't
allow an autopsy" Tribune.
Aunt Mary-'I hope, Carrie, you
never tell your husband his faults"
Carrie-'Mercy! No, aunt. shouldn't
know where to begin. Boston Tran
script.
-Figg-'What does this paper mean
voice." Fogg-'That'sa polite way of
saying that his singing is wooden
Boston Transcript.
What are you taking this horrible
tasting medicine for?" Great Caesar!
I have to drink mineral water and I've
got to have something to take the taste
out. "-Inter-Ocean.
-Downer-''Ia am glad it is good form
not to wear watch with dress suit
Upper-''Why?" Downer-"Because I
never have my watch and my dress suit
at the same time."-Life.
"A Substitute.-She-''D you think
that money takes the place of wife?"
He Cooking over some bills)-'No, but
r 81 e. "a
ney."-Detroit Free Press.
Now, I've told you all about it:
what would you do if you were in my
shoes?" ''Well, wouldn't stir out of
doors until had ordered pair about
four sizes smaller. "-Inter-Ocea
Experimentation admit that you
stabbed this man. Why did you do
it?" Prisoner-"Oh, he snubbed me
one day last week, and the next time
l saw him / cut him. ''-Philadelphia
Record.
-Jilson says he has noticed that 50
long as man has the dust there is
little liability of his name becoming
mud, even if he doesn't know enough
to come in when it rains.-Buffalo
Courier.
"A Great Surpr1Se.-He was ABOUT
as close-fsted as they ever get to be in
this world. and he got no better as he
grew older. On his wife's last birth
day, two weeks ago,a neighbor stopped
in his Office. ''By the way" said the
old fellow, this is my wife's birthday,
and want to surprise her some way.
What would you suggest" The visitor
had it in minute. ''Um-er," he hest
tated, ''give her five dollar bill and it
will be the surprise of her life"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
His Health Assured.

The su1tap started.
''Say those words AGAIN. he com
handed, peremptorily.
The court physician bowed.
married men," he repeatad, uare
shown by statistics to, be less, suseepti-
BILE to the grip bacillus than single
men,
His majesty referred to a large book
Three hundred and SIXTY mime in
good and regular standing" he read.
s.Sirrah-''
He was addressing the, chamberlain
in a loud, decisive tone
81 shall aot, after all, put on
those sand-paper flannels Of mine, cold
wave or no cold yvave.'-PNck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
The Steamer Walrus Partly Wrecked by
Dynamite.

ST. JOHNS, N. F., March "a serious
dynamite explosion occurred last
night aboard the sealing steamer Wal
r,as, at Green's Point, seventy miles
north of St. Johns. While. the crew
were preparing dynamite to break the
ice in the harbor SO that the ships
could gain open water, three
of the men were warming dyna-
mite in the galley when the explosions
occurred Two were killed instantly
and the third was seriously injured.
The explosion partially wrecked the
ship.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
A Severe Remedy.

Brown-My barber used to ask a
thousand questions while shaving me.
but now he Lurries up the job in ST
lence.
Jones-Iadeeds How do you man.
age it?
Brown-I eat heartily of raw onions
Just before going to his shop. Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
A Last Resort.

Todd-Is your new minister tire
some?
Nodd-Tiresome is not the word for
it. Why they have to keep the church
bell ringing while he is preaching
BROOKLYN Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
Three Men Killed BY the Explosion Of
Locomotive Boiler.

WILKEsBARRE, Pa, March s.--A Lee
high valley railroad engine hauling
. freight train was sidetracked vester-
day at Tannery station for orders.
Engineer Patrick Dugan stepped OF
his engine, and, as he was about to
enter the telegraph station, near by,
the boiler exploded. The fireman.
John Lennox. was at his post and he
and Arthur Dotter and Edward Fox.
two brakemen, were killed. The en-
CINE is q complete wreck The cause
of the accident will probably aever be
known,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
At Last.

Beggar Ito old maid, who has just
given him a quarter)-Iann so grateful.
mum, that could marry you.
Old Maid-Do you mean it?
(Beggar fa1nts. )-HalIo.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
CONTAMINATION.

81 should think bicycle riding would
contract the chest" said Dawson.
ut dces,' said Smithers; but see
what fine, full. rounded shoulders you
retI'-Puck-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
In the Hospital.

Patient No Happy is the man who
Is never born!
Patient No aEWhy do yon talk sucl
nonsense? Such luck happens only IA
one man in a ,thousand--dello
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
A wakerul Child.

eyes?
Little Ethel-Yes'm, but she is the
most wakeful child l ever saw. She
doesn't shut her eyes when lay her
down, as she ought to. The only way
to make her go to sleep is to stand her
on her head and shake her.-Good
News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15

Three hundred and sixty mountains
sand feet high.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
cM%eMHs ~ T.

For Weln-Out," "fiM-dOWnem do6fIitafed
school teachers, millinezs, dressnaakera, seam
worked and feeble women generally, DR..
Pierc9s FAvorite Prescriptiu4 IA the best OF
all restorative tonics. It Is n0k q s.cure-all.n
h.ft admirably fulfiIls singleness at pur-
tho6e chronic weaknesses and diseases pecu-
liar to women. Is Is powerful, general as
well as uterine, tonic and nervine. and Inn
parts vigor and strength 10 the whole system.
It cures weakness Of tho stomach, indiges-
ds S R,0a and Te.tse .
pages, Tlustrated), o. "Woman and Her
Diseases,n ssat seoled n plain envelope, on
receipt Of tan cents topay postage. Address.
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association,
1nvalidxs Hotel and Surgical Institute, Buff
falo, n. Y. Il contains vast number OF
testimonials with half tone, or pAototypo
portraits Of their authors and gixeA the fQl
address Of each
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15

Parces Faxuuihs Prescription, for hucoE~
rlnsas and utmine debility than I have far
sixteen yean&, ! am cured Of my trouble,
and now waigh one hundred and sixty-six
pounds, whereas my weight for many yeaE3
Stood at one hundred and twenty -1Na poundnL
With pleaslreb Z ramAin,"
Tcure Ar1,tv
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15
How He Sold Then

Lady of the House, don't need any
of your burglar alarms.
Agent-That's just what the lady
next door said.
Lady of the House ION the alert)-
Said what?
Agent-That it was no use of me
calling here, as you had nothing to
steal. L
Lady of the House (gritting her
teeth)-Give me three.-Texas Sift-
inpS
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15

Aood'a Pills arc prompt and efacient, yet
easy in action. Sold BY all druggists. sc.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-03-15


ries, or from any profession. trade
employment vocation carried on in the
United States or elsewhere. or from any other
source whatever, tax OF per cent on the
amount so derived over and above $4,000. and
like tax shall be levied. collected and paid an
nually upon the gains profits and incomes of
all property owned and Of any business trade
or profession carried on in the United States
by persons residing without the United States
In estimating those things which go to make
up an income in addition to the sales
of live stock. sugar. wool. etc.. the commit
tee adds cotton Proceeding along the line
of the house bill changes are only made to
make the text clear and where word Is used
capable of being construed to give o discretion
airy power. the tense Of the verb is changed to
make it mandatory.
In section SO, which says there shall
be levied and collected tax of per
cent. on all dividends. etc. the commit
tee strikes out the following:
On all dividends. annuities and interest.
paid by corporations or associations. organized
for profit by virtue of the laws of the United
States, or OF any states by means Of
any wise limited. in cash. scrip
or otherwise: and the net income of all such
corporations in excess o. such dividends, an
nuites and interests, or from any other sources
whatever"
The requirement that accounting Off
GERS must send in their lists within thirty
days after any dividends become due
and payable is changed to read:
.On or before the 10th of the month following
that In which such dividends become due and
payable"
The provision of section SO, that
this act shall not apply to the income
or dividends received or paid by such
building and loan associations as are
organized under the laws of any state
or territory, and which do not make
loans except to shareholders within the
state where such associations have been
organized, for the purpose OF this
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07
Small But Can DO Big Deeds.
BROOKLYN standard. Union.

Rhode Island, whose diminutiveness has
won her the pet name of Little Rhody," is
small in size, to be sure. but she's no fool, and
can do big deeds occasionally. For instance,
she has just gone and laid out the biggest
fraud of the century, the Democratic pre-
tense OF bettering the industrial condition of
the country and elevating the toiler and
wage-earner of tho United States, while
actually attacking American industries and
converting hosts of honest worklngmen into
armies of the unemployed; for Rhode Island
has gone Republican" by a majority that
ought to startle the doctrinaircs nj Washing
ton ana give them sucn shaking up
that their very teeth must rattle in their jaws,
and the moral effect of the protection victory
will he felt all over the land. Governor
Brown l. reelected by a plurality conceded
TO be az least 400, and which. from ind ca-
tions. Il l. believed will reach iOo0. and the
whole Republican State ticket goes with the
Governor.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07
TO TINKER WITH BANKING SYS-
TEN

The banking problem is to be con-
sdered at caucus of the House Demo-
Gratis on Monday. There it is again.
The Democracy apparently never learns
by experience, and defeat carries
no lesson with il. The House tink-
cred with the tariff Ruin and disaster
followed and finally the country rose
up and condemned it. 1t played with
the seigniorage bill and the expressing of
public disapproval was so strong 3 TO
force Democratic President TO veto a
Democratic measure after it had passed
Democratic Congress.
And now the Democrats in the House
are counting another rebuke from the
people. They want TO amend and de-
stroy the national banking system which
has for the first time in the history of
the nation given currency,
not one dollar of which ever
was lost OF discredted and which
is just as readily, even more readily, ac-
cepted than gold. And they want TO
substitute for this system. max
ing an absolute and complete
overturn in the banking system of
the country, the system of wildcat
banking, which under former Demo
cratic management plunged the coun-
try into the worst financial panic that it
ever experienced, all things considered.
One shudders to think of the Kind of
banking system the body that evolved
the vacuum coinage measure is likely 70
bring forth.
Evidently the Democrats do not in
tend to give prosperity a chance to make
even the attempt to get on its feet
while Congress remains In their hands.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07
MONEY In OUR ELECTION.

The following clippings are interest
ing. The first is from the Democratic
Boston Herald:
"The Providence Journal devotes
broadside TO the scenes and incidents
about the polls in different cities
ana towns throughout Rhode Island on
Wednesday, and in each place the price
paid for votes by each party is regu-
alarly quoted lt appears that votes
went unusually cheap this year. as the
Democrats did NOT have much money
To spend, and the Republicans found
nobody bidding against them in most
localities. The regular price was s. a
vote. spot cash, though in some places IL
was bid up. This may appear 10 some
good people in this vicinity like cam
paign lie, but, unfortunately, il is not.
1t is solemn truth told after election"
. And this is from the mugwump Bos-
ton Transcript which, despite its political
predictions. is disposed TO be fair and
is certainly possessed of hoss sense.
"That money was used i'm Rhode
Island election, that some voters took
bribes, is not impossible. Such things
have been known before in Rhode
Island and in other States; but
to assume that the result of Wednes.
days contest was wholly or in large
part due TO the corrupt use of s. bills by
the Republicans is absurd. Do those
who offer this explanation" reflect that
they are indicting the members of their
own party of venality? that they are
proclaiming the presence in its ranks
Of hundreds who will sell their
votes for So apiece? Does such an
explanation" commend the party TO
the confidence of Independent men? We
think it does not. IT savors of Grave
send, where one of the vanquished Nc
Kaneites is quoted as saying, "No Won
der you fellows triumphed; all our men
are in Sing-Sing."
BY the help of the Boston Herald The
Journal is enabled to spread its insulting
charge against its fellow citizens over
broad field.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07

In was the Republicans in the House
who saved President Cleveland from
further humiliation, when the Bland
Seigniorage bill came up for second
consideration. The Democrats cast more
than two-thirds majority against the
veto. The Democratic representatives
gave a party majority of GA on the
silverite side, while the Republicans sus-
tanned the Presidents veto by party
majority Of Al.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07
THE CITY OF PRovIDENCE.

Office of the License Commissioners, I
City Hall, Providence, April 9TH, 1894
Applications for license TO sell pure spirituous,
Intoxicating and malt liquors, have been made by
the following named persons ana hrnsi
FIRST CLASS.
DOYLE, William H., al Canal street.
Hagan, James H., isT-lss Richmond street.
sullivan Bros, S,s Wickendcn street
SECOND CLASS.
Connors, Benjamin. 81 Oak street
Crotty, Patrick. 7l3 North Main street.
Galogby, Iaughlin, 4s Smithheld avenue.
Hill Lysan Ter j., 20 Richmond street,
keefe, Michael, 4s2 Douglas avenue.
la Fauci, Michael. s9 spruce street
Leonhardt, Chas. A, ChlTel street
McSolev Jas. r.. 295 Atwcli'a avenue.
Nugcnt, M. H.. 4s-s6 Orange street
sullivan, Michael, $50 Atwell's avenue.
smith, Jos. o, 3s2 Eddy street
Thompson, John, 243 Grove street
Nltale, Augustin j., 20 Acorn street
The Board OF License Commissioners viii be in
session in their ofice, City Hall, WEDNESDAY,
April 2bth, 1854, at i0 a. m. at which time and
place all persons so desiring may be heard on the
matter OF granting such applications.
by order Of the Board Of License commissioners
april7-i6t THOMAS NIXON, clerk.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07

THE Young Man had large share in
the result of Wednesdays election. The
Young Man had been fascinated by the
specious Democratic arguments of the
past six or eight years because he hadn't
had that personal acquaintance with his
country's history which his father en-
joyed. Now he knows what kind of a
party the Democracy is when it gets a
chance to redeem its promises.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1894-04-07
VIII Not BE Fooled Again.


n. \. AuNtIIIstT
A feature of the Rhode Island election. as
of elections which have been held elsewhere
of late was the unanimity with which wage
earners aud those who hoped 20
be wage earneIs marched up to
the polls and voted the straight Re-
publican ticket In 1892 n great many OF
these electors voted themselves out OF work,
and they now see the folly of it and wisely
take the first opportunity to make amends.
IL is a good sign and means that they are not
likely 10 be fooled again soon.