The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1894-10-06
low TO PLAY LAWN TENNIS.

Business has been very dull with Wob-
bles since he paid his % per cent assess
ment to the campaign committee. He
heard the other day that his old friend
the mate had written book aud that sew
eral old shipmateS of his were studying
the question, SIS steam beer a sailors
limit?" Mr.. W0bbIss AYERS that he al
ways plays the game of steam without
limit, so therefore he RETAINED from hav-
ing much to say on that subject.
"But the mates books what's going to
create a sensation" he sighed as he
played a tattoo on the bar with his
knuckles. 1.-THE mates book is a dandy,
and you can bet he's going to burn some
of those commanders of society up.
Hes spoken to me. has the mate, for
he wanted me to be agent for him aud go
around among the backwards where the
society crowd gets their faces scraped
and paint signs on the ceilings.
III went into one place where a long
rakish-looking craft was locked in big
chair, having his sudden sails curled up
in tissue paper
"Sez l, Who is that natty looking struc-
ture who carries a sheer well forward on
his upper lip?'
"'Hush,' SEE the man with the
scraper, that's one of the fellows
the mate's got in one of the pictures in the
book you're trying TO sell. He's mad
about it and he's going to make it hot for
the author
II didn't stay very long in the scraping
dock, but takes my book and starts out
for Mob Hill on my way to Franklin
street. l steps in Mr.. Crocker's and
pushes a button that was set in the center
of door that looked like hatehway on a
four-master. A slim man with a frigate
bird coat on and hair like bunch of coral
came to the door aud seq, Well Well
| seq back, I've got the mates book for
sale and I'd like to know if Colonel Croker
wouldn't like to take it with him around
the world to exhibit as a sort of Western
curiosity
''Sez he. The colonel is here; you can
speak to him yourself
Just as soon as the colonel came I asked
him quick, so he'd be inspired, you know,
Say. can paint the glorious names of the
AGO. on the dome of your intellect by read
ing you few chapters from 1.-TWO Years
in Ballroom. or How a Society Appren-
lice Got Broken Imp"
"'Who's it by?' SEE be.
SPY the mate SEE 1.
"'Oh, you mean the gentleman who's
been expectoratiug cotton for nearly three
years and is very dry in his remarks about
my friend Ned?'
1.-The same SEE l. the same; he's
wrote book that tells how a mans got to
rig when he's out to win an heiress, and
how an heiress has got to act If she wants
to catch duke. Dukes is hard people to
catch; they used to hunt them with large
armies in olden times, but nowadays you
can catch them easily with a sack
well, the colonel ordered four copies
and | passed down the street toward
where the Hobartses and the Popeses live
saw tall young man coming rapidly up
the sidewalk before the wind. He had
hammock netting set on his starboard side
and he carried cinch-strap amidships.
THAT'S Wilberforce,' SEE |, and he's
going to play tennis over at San Rafael
Tennis is game that has to be played In
dead calm. Tor too much wind would
eapsize The majority of the fellows that
plays it. A torpedo net is spread and two
crews set on either side of it. A man
can't play tennis well unless he wears a
duck uniform and swabs decks with
cologne.
"Wilb didn't like TO buy the mates
book, bat could see be was awful curious
to see it. SEE he: Does be say anything
about Porter Ashe and Champagne Charlie
in lt?' Cert SEE /, he got everything
down that's ever danced jig or shuffled
into society girls mortal COIL Give me
ten copies SEE he. and here's a ticket
to the next match over in Marin
The mate warned me not to go near
Ned, but argued to myself that Ned GER
tainly must want few copies; he's men,
toned often enough. / just made up nv
mind to attack him In his home port, so
braces up my stays and prepared to be
boarded and to receive boarders.
Ned does business and society down at
the Nevada block, where he's secretary of
a company that buys and sells something
called stocks. That's something that's
divided into shares, and the smartest man
gets the most shares. Intelligence rms
awful high in the Stock Exchange some
times.
Il met Ned in the doorway talking to
young Jarboe, who has just been married
to one of the generals daughters. You
know the general. He was in Sacramento
during the strike that rammed the Stale
militia-so hard.
"Let me show you the guide to fame.
SEE ], the only book that's got no preface,
but starts right out on the jump and roasts
everybody
SIS that the book entitled. After the
Bal?'' be sez No. seq l. it's the book
that the mate wrote, because they wouldn't
let him into the ball us got you In il
ana you ought to subscribe
So Look here, SEE Ned, 'yon go and dc
politics again. You sailor fellows has got
no license to spring literature on the
masses. I've been doing society for lone
time and | don't propose to be shot out OF
1t by any scandalous gnnboats.
>, NO, Ned wouldn't buy, so l left him.
I'm going to turn politician again pretty
soon, so keep your eve ON me -