Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1894-01-25
onIA.GdASr:
copyright, 1886, by John Alexander Steuart.l
CHAPTER XXI
DESPAIR AND HOPE
Copyright, 1876, by John Alexander

Getting back to my crouching posture
threw my mantle over my head as a kind
of a screen, but while it mitigated the blaze
of the SUM smothered me. Casting it off
rose, still trembling violently, and looked
about vaguely, think. expecting aid. Not
living thing was in sight or sound. II
limitably to every point spread the gray
waste of burning sand, hot as the mari that
scorched the feet of satan in his defiant
| and impious journey. Above was ball oil
living fire, below an arid, lifeless plain
radu.ting a binding, choking heat like an
infinite limekiln, naught else to be seen
save far away to the west dim, pale peaks
that might be the thin veil Of dissolvine
clouds.
tried to walk by way of diversion, bu,
reeled and staggered so that | was fair
to sit down again. Perceiving that my
horse now cast Il shadow, | crept into it.
and huddled there with dropping head and
an aching heart, thought bitterly Of what
/ might have BEEN but for my own pervers
ity.
AT that moment the heather about Xii
gour was in full bloom, making the air q
! distilled essence of honey, and the bees,
with the drowsy song that had so often
been soothing melody in my ears, were
! thriftily preparing for winter, and shep-
herds were whistling and calling from crag
tops, their voices blending in a faroff mu-
sic with the barking of dogs and the bleat-
| ing of sheep, and sparkling streams were
| leaping down green and purple hillsides,
and over all was a soft blue sky with masses
| of cool white clouds.
| How wildly it all rose before the eye of
Imagination! Many and many a time in
the languorous summer days 1 have laved
my bare limbs in those pellucid waters and
| watched the flashing of silvery fin and
| scale as the trout darted under bank or
stone, and lain on my back in some shady
| place looking up at snowy fleets, touched
with pink and rose, sailing on an inverted
ocean. And to think of all that now! 1t
was as the vision of Dives when, raising
! his eyes from his place of torment, he be-
| held the felicity of Lazarus Peace brooded
| like Il guardian spirit over Kilgour and The
! Films, amid their quiet encircling hills, and
| the afTectiOuate souls there were the blither
because they Thought | was happy and
prosperous. Would no sympathetic spirit
ell them of my condition? But their igno-
;ance was part of my punishment. had
| once been in paradise, too, and fell by rebel
! ion. AS we make our beds, so must we lie
In the midst OF my dream / remembered
hat my pipes and some other things cher
shed were with Tabal and my mare. But
luckily all the relics of past happiness were
not lost. u LONG the folds of my dress,
drew forth my mothers Bible, and with it
the two white roses (now sadly withered
and crushed) that Isabel had given me
The roses put carefully back with as
tender a caress as if they were sentient
beings capable of feeling affection.
When / should have ceased from trou-
bling, they would be found next my heart,
evidence of at least one faith kept to the Bit
/ col
might whisper to Isabel in a dream that
far of and in his last dire extremity some
bo,ly's thoughts had gone forth to her.
And sometimes in the pensive cleaning,
when the mind roams, she might think, in
spite Of the grandeur and happiness that
were sure TO be her lot, of one whose lonely
grave she could never know, and whose
love was no more than a guess to her.
Futile and boyish, yet strangely comforting
reflections.
The Bible | opened at random and, lol
here lay before ME the woudrous story of
Job:
And my soul is poured out upon me;
The days OF affection have taken hold upon
ne.
So my dim eyes read. But | knew the
moving drama by heart; long ago amid
happy domestic scenes it had been learned
Oy my mothers side. And l thrilled eeri-
" at the thought that it was in this
scorchcd land where was now lying, I'M
Her these very skies that were burning my
life out, that Job had groaned in bitterness
If spirit.
All mankind are one in distress, the Jew
and the Gentle, the civilized and the bar
barian. Immediately there was established
4 mystic brotherhood between me and the
man of u Uncounted ages had rolled by
since he had suffered. In the interval
things of vast and vital moment had come
and gone and been forgotten, but the TRACE
1y of the race went on. With a trif1ing
outward difference, n mere matter OF time
and circumstance, Jobs case was mine.
Well, his Affections were over long ago;
mine also would soon end. And so, moral
iZing and turning the leaves, | came to the
gracious promise:
There shall be q tabernacle for u shadow in
the daytime from the heat and for place of
refuge and for n covert from storm and rain.
And again:
Then shall the lame man leap as an hart and
The tongue of the dumb sing, for in tho wilder
ness shall waters break out and streams in the
desert
And yet again:
When thou passest through tho waters, i
will be with thee, and through the rivers they
shall not overflow thee. When thou walkest
through the fire, thou shalt not be burned nei-
Their shall the flame kindle upon thee.
And once more:
The Lord will be Il refuge in limo of trouble
He shall call upon me, and will answer
him will be with him in trouble will de-
liver him and honor him. | will not leave thee
nor fOrsake thee
1t surely enough. a prayer, o
doubling heart, and courage, even now!
The courage WAS urgently needed and
sOrely tried not less by physical than by
mental ills. Every inch Of my body was a
burning ache My wound panied me more
and more. My head throbbed like steam
boiler, and lips and tongue were as if flayed
and laid on smoldering ashes. Not SO
much as the remnant of a spittle was left
to moisten them. opened my mouth, and
rush of blistering air went down my
throat, scorching my lungs to their roots.
closed it, and the dry flesh cracke SO that
the blood spurted out. Let the man who
would feed fat his revenge have his enemy
sent out and baked alive under an Ara
bian sun in the full blaze. The inquisition
/ never invented torture half so cruel az
that slow process of broiling by the i'm
mitigable heavens.
MY poor horse was likewise in a far gone
condition. The foam was crusted hard
about his mouth and TANKS, his nostrils
were wide, dry and fiery, his head hung and
his Dlack swollen tongue pFOITuueQ. i ct
he remained as steady a rock, sheltering
me in his shadow. At intervals he turned
and looked at me, and once he whinnied
softly as if out of pure pity end comrade-
ship.
BY and by there came change. The
flaming sky was overcast, the shimmering
sand turned gray, and after awhile dark
clouds began to gather in the south. Then
a tepid, relaxing wind blew from the same
quarter, bringing an electric sultriness in
place of the white heat After little the
wind ceased and dead calm fell
The atmosphere seemed to have suddenly
grown solid and to be weighing upon the
world like canopy Of molten lead. Breath
ing had been difficulty before-it was a
positive pain now. My horse grew FESTIVE,
snorting, paving the ground and shifting at
the far darkness, now fast spreading and
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