The Bennington banner. [volume] (Bennington, Vt.) 1858-1894, 1894-04-13
THE ART OF TALKING
HOW MEN AND WOMEN MAY cULTl-
VATE 1T PROPERLY.

The Ago OF Printing Has Diminished the
st"dyo Thorght and snea"h-vve CRAM
Ourselves With the Contents of the News
papers-Care In Reading.
The man OF woman who knows how to
talk must first have learned how to keep
still. We all know an inoessant talker who
pours forth a continuous stream of babble
yet never by an accident says anything
that is, anything good to remember or car
ry away.
The most of us are fortunate enough to
know, too, a man or woman, perhaps more
than one of each sex, who can hardly speak
at all without saying something that is
stimulating and suggestive, something
true and noble, something honest and can
did, that all at once makes the world
seem great deal better world; that clears
the mental horizon of any mists and
shadows and enables us to do the thing
we are doing with better will and cour-
age; to take hold of the disagreeable duty
and accept the inevitable with cheerful pa
thence. This is the difference between the
mental and moral constitution of individ-
uals--it is the result of the involuntary
action of mind upon mind and may be as
hJTOHB III Ju6 llllJerdJ6 db III Ju6 ledTueu,
You know at once whether the man or
woman you employ for given purpose is
quiet and self respecting or a chattering
busybody, and you have confidence in
them or not accordingly. But this is not
what is meant by talking as an art and
In order to interest, amuse or instruct 9th
er people this requires more than the
gift Of speech, more than the faculty
of making ones self understood; it re-
quires long and patient culture of the
faculty of thought as wels as that of ex-
preston. There was time when talking
was cultivated much more than it is to-
day. 1t was before the age of printing, be-
fore the period of newspapers, which have
become thought and visible speech for so
many American men and are daily sup
plying more and more the place of thought
and speech to men and women all over the
civilized world.
Observe cars, stages, steamboats,, and ev-
cry man comes laden with his daily sup
ply, and he sits down and devours them,
thankful above all things to the quiet
friend who tells him all the news, keeps
him informed about what is going ON and
manufactures his opinions without any
trouble to himself. Get birdseye glimpse
of nine out of ten American men in the
morning or in the evening, and for the
single hour spent at home they will be
buried in the newspapers, not for the pur-
pose of communicating what they find
there, but in order to cram themselves
with the current news and be able to
understand the illusions or take part in
the chat upon current events which varies
the more serious work or business of the
day.
The multiplication of newspapers, II
might be supposed, would stimulate and
encourage the art of talking, by giving
men, and women, too, something to talk
about, for as a rule they are more suggest
i've in this respect to the women who read
them than to men. The majority of men
are too much absorbed in business to be
Interested in the literature or social as
poets of newspapers. These are more ad-
dressed to women-in fact they are a
new feature, one that the newspaper proper
has taken up within the last few years in
order to meet family demands as well as
the requirements of the politician and man
of business.
There are two elements in our lives that
have an enormous influence in shaping
the character of our thoughts and their
expression-one is what we read, the other
is what we hear. Young people who are
isolated from cultivated society should be
doubly careful what they read in order to
have the habit of thinking in good English
and also of having something to think
about.
1t is not necessary to interlard common
conversation with quotations or to read
for the sake of being able to do so. This
is the very frequent mistake of the silly
and underlined. Quotations may be made
at the proper time and place, but they
should always be apt and fright to the
point, and if too frequently INDUCED in
they will seem forced intrusion.
A good memory and the cultivation of
the habit of observation are essential to one
who would have subjects for bright and
suggestive remarks or agreeable conversa-
ton constantly on hand. We must first
think wisely if we would talk wisely, and
our thinking depends largely upon the
company we keep, both as regards people
and books. But we are not to talk, any
more than walk on stills, nor talk much
at all until we have something of our own
to say. For, after all, the first and essen
Jlal element Oh Ine drJ VI IdlhlnB ID huOW-
ing when to keep silent.
Character has much to do with the
charm of bright and pleasant talk. 1t re-
quires sympathy and a certain unselfish-
ness to enable one to enter into another's
feelings and select such topics of CONVERSE
ton as will prove interesting to him and
hold his interest. One must, in fact, have
the habit of thinking more of Others than
of himself and more of what will be agree
able to them.
Besides, the naturally noble, truthful
and refined character seeks its correspond
ence in books, in its social relations, in
work and in all those things which make
up our mental, moral and spiritual en-
vironment and it is out of this that our
thought and its expression in language
grows.
Probably there is no influence which
tends more to the growth of unconscious
excellence in talking than the habits OF
cultivated and intellectual home circle,
the regular reading of the best books and
the intelligent talk in the family about
what has been read or heard or seen.
Nothing can quite make up for the alb
sence of this element in the home life Of
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