The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-06-16
grow stronger and healthier every
day.-[New York Press.
HE HOPES TO TRY IT.

cago Inter-Ocean.
SHE ADVISED.
Cholly-Weally / must select some
fad. Now what would you advise?
Grace-I think dolls would suit
you exactly.-[Chicago Inter-Ocean.
NOT BIT OF DANGER.
Inquirer-Do you think any person
is ever buried alive?
Physician-I should say not. There
is no danger of such a thing il "a reg
ular physician is in attendance
[ New York Press.
NO DOUBT ABOUT 1T.
May-Is it true that they are madly
in love with each other?
Carrie-Madly? Yes, indeed; they
are always quarrelling-[Truth.
NECESSARY CAUTION.
'Hello! Is this the telephone Of
fce?"
Yes"
Say, how does my voice sound?
Notice anything peculiar about it?"
"No."
Then call up No. Al, ,144. I've got
to explain to my wife that it's busi-
ness that's keeping me SO late. -
[Chicago Record.
THE ORIGINAL FAD.
Daughter-What is fad, mamma?
Mother OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
thing made out Of nothing.
Daughter-Then the whole world
must be fad, for it was made out Of
nothing. Detroit Free Press.
TIMELY HINT TO YOUNG LOVERS.
When a woman asks you for your
candid opinion she really wants your
candied, and woe be unto the man
who makes mistake and gives her
the first article instead Of the second.
i Indianapolis Sentinel.
NO RIVALRY.
New Girl (timidly)-I s'pose you
are a fine cook, mum!
Young Mistress-Bless me, no; l
don't know Il thing about it.
New Girl (relieved )-Then we'll get
on famously. mum. / don't either
[ New York Weekly.
COULDN'T RECOMMEND THE PUDDING.
Guest-Waiter, bring me some rice
pudding.
Waiter-Boss, / can't just recon-
mend de rice pudding to-day.
What's the matter with it?"
Muffin, 'cept dar amt none. -
Texas Siftings.
PHYSICIANS CHARGES.
II don't think it's right for doctors
to charge some patients more than
others
"Oh, do; life Is worth a great
deal more to a man who has a million
dollars than it is to me. "-[Newport
News.
INADEQUATE LAWS.
There ought to be a punishment
to fit the crime, said the police Judge
to the reporter as he came into the
palace of justice.
Isn't there9" inquired the re-
porter.
NO
Whats the crime?"
Playing Daisy Bell on hand
organ in the public thoroughfares."
.[Detroit Free Press.
DIDN'T WANT TO WORK.
Mrs. Murray was reading story
80
Mrs. Murray-Now Justin, if your
father were to to die, would you
work to help mamma?
Justin-Why, mamma, what for?
Haven't we got nice house to live
in?
Mrs. Murray-Yes, Justin, but we
can't eat the house, you know.
.Justin-Well, mamma, haven't we
got whole lot of good things in the
pantry?
Mrs. Murray-Certainly, pet, but
we would soon eat them up, and then
what would we do2
Justin-Well, mamma, isn't there
enough to last until you could get
another husband?-[ Brooklyn Life.
PARIS NEWS FROM THE WEST.
In France, some years ago, a man
died, and. as is usual when men die,
preparations were made for the fu-
neral. In that country the corpse is
carried on the shoulders Of the pail
bearers, and in this particular in
stance the procession slowly wended
its way to the cemetery. When pas
sing through the gate one ofthe pail
bearers Knocked against the post and
the jar aroused the man supposed TO
be dead. He came to life, and was
taken home and the funeral train
Now, in the course of
several months the same man died
again and another funeral was held.
This time everything went smoothly,
for when they came to the gate the
out Now, for heavens
sake, don't knock against the post"
Which showed she didn't want any