Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1894-01-08
Sprinkles of Spice.

Sprinkles of Spice.
UNCLE SAM Ito the boomers): "That
settles it. Galveston News.
THE shotgun should meet the rob-
Der who attempts to rife pockets
Picayune.
A MAN on pleasure bent may have
acquired shoulder stoop from bicy-
Gle riding.
IT is the telescope which lens en-
chantment to the distant view
Lowell Courier.
AFTER all, why should a young
man be always pursuing his studies.
Plain Dealer.
THE bald-headed man can tell us
all about "parts" unknown -Glens
Falls Republican.
WHEN it comes to jealousy and
Growing, man is about as bad as a
rooster.-Dallas News
No MATTER what may be said of
Senator Stewart, none deny that he
Is on his metal. Dealer.
TEACHER-"Detine memory" Dull
Boy-"It's what we always has till
we come to speak piece. Good
News.
FIRST TwIN-"Well, what do you
think of this world, anyway" Sec
ond Twin-"Pretty rocky. ."-Roches-
ter Democrat
MosT of the wrong deeds charged
against man are those he COM
mitted trying to get his rights
Atchison Globe.
The poet who found "books in the
running brooks" certainly had no rea-
son to complain of dry literature.
Washington Star
SOME dentists seem to think it
necessary to have snowy sign in
order to have strong pull with the
public. Newport News.
NEW CoNGREssMAN-"Is Senator
Silverstate man of his word?" Fifth
Termer-"Well, not quite as bad as
that Detroit Tribune.
"IF l ever get rich," said Tommy,
al mean to go to Italy and eat all
the bananas | want right Off the
trees. indianapolis Journal.
CARRUTHERs-Wha did you hold
when you called Brobson, and he
showed down four aces? Waite-I?
Ohl-er-I held my breath!--Puck.
AND now with gas bills coming in
That Nil up many pages,
We wish within our inmost heart
We'd lived In the dark ages.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"DD you ever 60 to Bins, the
tailor?" yes Got two suits from
him. One dress suit. One lawsuit.
Very expensive man" Home Jour-
nal
LITTLE ALIcE-"What is a boor,
mammal" Cynical Mammal
boor, dear, is man who has never
been taught to lie. Detroit Trib-
une.
ToMMY-Paw, what makes the
stars so bright? Mr.. Figg-Oh,
these astronomers are securing the
heavens all the time. indianapolis
Journal.
IT will go hard in the next world
with the newspaper space writer II
he has to give account for every idle
word uttered while on earth. Boston
Transcript.
MAMMA-Now, Teddy, We must all
try and give up something while
times are so hard. Teddy-Im will
ing. Mamma---What will it be, dear?
Teddy-Soap.-.Inter Ocean.
"BIFFINs appears to have taken q
rather obscure place in the commu-
nifty" "Obscure? Well, | should say
so. Why, nobody even brings him
petition 20 sign. Washington Sta.
OLD ToMKINs--I hear, you lucky
dog, you've come into more money
again, according to your won't. Young
Jackson-Yo, you're wrong. It's ac-
cording to my uncle's wll-Funny
Folks.
LES FIANCEs. s.--She-"And are you
sure you will like married life as we'll
as you do your club?" He-"Oh,
yes" She-"And are YOU so awfully
fond OF your club?" Hc-"Not very"
-Life's Calendar.
The EARNEST YOUTH. IL thank
you, sir, for your kind permission to
call on your daughter" Remember
that l turn out the gas at 10 o'clock"
al iiHhO, ciif Il IL INV NohiC pOiOiO
that time. Life.
CoNsTANCE-"Did he not 60 home
after you refused him?" Clare-"No
He stayed right on and said, All
things come to him who waits"
Constance-"And what camc?" Clare
Father was the first. Puck.
A BRIGHT BoY.-Kind Old Gentle
man--And that is your brother? He
appears to be a very bright little
fellow. Boy (proudly)--You bet he
Isl He kin swear like car-driver.
Curse for th' gent, Mickey.
FIRST FRENCH STATEsMAN-What
is the secret CT the fine health you
have at your advanced age? Second
French Statesman-Sst 1t is indeed
secret. l have fought duel every
month for the last twenty years.
Chicago Record
CLARENcE-"The little kangaroos
must be very unhappy, mamma"