Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1894-08-02
PlTH AND POINT.

--One strawberry doesn't make .
| shortcake.-Truth.
WINES and lickers go together
| Rural New Yorker.
"A working majority is the only kind
to be depended upon.-Chicago Herald
Some fiddlers can play tune on
one string. but it never makes any body
! want to dance.-Ram's Horn
They say that for an old bachelor,
Jones is putting good deal of FIRE
| into his courtship." That's natural.
He is sparkling an old fame. IN. Y.
Press.
-Multum in Parvo.-Mrs. Chatter
| snow, professor, what do you really
mean by small talkY" Prof. Grim
''That which causes large trouble. -
Truth.
What lovely white chip hat that
| was your wife had on to-day. Bagley"
Eyes. And it took the price of five blue
| chips to pay for it," = Browning's
Monthly.
I've have caught our defaulting
booklleeper," said one merchant to an
other. Then he is now spotted
| adder" replied the latter.-Pittsburgh
Chronicle
A Matter of Scarcity.
Maiden-"Oh, what is so rare as day
in June?" Her Practical Beau-''A day
in February, because there are only
| twenty-eight. "-Arkansaw Traveller.
-Disobeying Fashions Decree
Fannie-''Have you ever felt the pinch
of poverty?" Nanny-"No. What is
it like?" Fanny-''Wearing your old
silk dress with the tight sleeves
Judge.
-''Chinner is a great talker, isn't
hep" '.He is" Wouldn't you like to
know as much as he knows?" ''Well,
not exactly. but would like to know
as much as he thinks he knows. IN.
y. Press.
Who taught the natives of the
field and wood to shun their poison
and to choose their food-prescient,
the tides and tempests to withstand;
build on the wave, or arch beneath the
sand?-Pope.
Mrs. Slabs-''I see it says here that
insanity in every country is more prev
alent among unmarried men than mar
ried persons Mr.. Slabs-"Yes; that
proves that marriage brings people to
their senses. Halo.
old Soak-''I believe, to a certain
extent, in the theory of the transmit
grasion of souls; but it is belief that
causes me untold misery" How SOP"
Old Soak-''Because of the chance l
run of becoming a fish."-Brooklyn
Life.
-Teacher-s'I suppose, Mr.. Lem
stein, you want your son to learn
arithmetic, addition, subtraction and
the rest?" Mr.. Leinstein-.'Vell, he
wants to learn blenty of addition, but
very leetle subtraction will do"-Brook-
lyn Eagle.
The Tables Turned.-'What's the
matter, Tom? You haven't been your
self for three days!" well, the truth
is Dodgers gave us such good dinner
on Tuesday that l ate without think
ing. and since then I've been thinking
without eating. Bazaar.
-Jinks-''Do you put your flannel
shirts away in camphor to keep the
moths away?' Winks-''No; l just
have them washed" Jinks-''How
will that prevent the moths getting
into them?' Winks-"Why, they are
so small the moths can't find them
Inter-Ocean.
Jack, you must stop 4uarreling
with Jimmie Thomas" said Mr.. Hicks.
well, ! was right" said Jack. 81
don't believe it, said Mr.. Hicks. 'What
were you fighting about?" ''He said
his papa knew more with his little fin
ger than you did with both hands,
Harper's Bazaar.
Why He Evaded Her. - "What
makes you always go home by back
street," inquired young man of Gus
De Smith; sit is several blocks out of
your way" Il know that, but my best
girl lives on the avenue, and do that
to avoid her." ''Why do you want to
avoid hero" ''Why. if she saw me GO
ing home to my meals twice day she
might get sick of me. Seeing me only
twice week keeps up her interest, you
know. Familiarity breeds contempt Of
court v-Tovoc Giffirrc