Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-09-07

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congressman confidently predicts his re-
election, emphasizing his prophecy with
q p~laintive little wiggle OF the helpless
toes on his sockless feet. There is one
thing for which Jerry deserves more
credit than his colleagues, during the
session of congress just finished, and
that is that he has allowed himself to
drift back into the nonentity wherein
he glows with q rich, red radiance. AS
the socklees sun1ower Of the Kansas
prairies, and the unwashed prophet of
the potato patch, Jerry was at once
the wonder and admiration Of the whole
civilized world. But with the donning
OF the silken stockings Of prosperity,
there came q blight over the notoriety of
the bucolic Kansan, and he relapsed
into the %saddening o~bscurity Of the small
toad in the large puddle, where he had
once been the large toad in the small
puddle. But with a rigid maintenance
of the very satisfactory silence which has
characterized him Of late, Jerry may
again sum his former position, and
became a useful member of the human
family.
Ii I were asked what the American
stage Is coming to, 1 should say it is
coming to pieces. The latest report that
Bicycllst Zimmerman is about to embark
upon the troubled sea Of histrionism
adds another crushing weight to al al
ready overloaded avocation. For with
the e-visaged, vulgar-tongued John
j. Sullivan masquerading about in a
linen toga and red sandals as Julius
Casar;the limber-limbed and hard listed
Corbett doing a heroic in some one of
Sponsors divine productions; the sour
featured and thin-faced Maddy Pollard
presenting to the public a grotesque rep
resentation of the blushing maiden in
"Under the Lilacs" or "Hazel Kirke," it
looks to me as though the profession
had started on a creased slide to the
devil. I don't know what play thinner
man intends to take up, but it doesn't
matter much. At least, not under the
present standard, when prize-fghters
have taken up the the mantles Of Booth
and Barrett, which death laid aside, and
when the muscles in the calves of Bicy-
clist Zimmerman, or the sun-spots on
the reputation of the notorious Pollard
are received by theatrical managers in
lieu of real talent. The stage is becom-
ing a sensational sideshow for freaks of
all classes, and a chill must run-a-down
the Wondering spines Of bygone stage
favorites at this usurpatlon Of sensuous
sluggers, blatherskite bicyclists and
ostracized outcasts.
Press dispatches continue to indicate
a considerable domestic infelicity in the
house Of Vanderbilt, and it will take no
small quantity of glue to patch together
the sundered ties of marital affection.
1t is bitterly hard that this new calamity
should have befallen us just in the hot
test part of the Breckenridge campaign,
but as it has been SO ordained the Ameri-
can people must meet the situation with
that courage which ensues only out of
true patriotism, and endeavor to divide
their attention impartially between the
attractions in both rings without slight
ing either. just at present it is difficult
to say which ring offers the more attrac-
tive features. It it is true as reported,
that Mr.. Vanderbilt has absented him
self from the bosom Of his family for
three consecutive washdays, and that
Mrs. Vanderbilt has been forced to feed
the stock, carry in. water from the we'll
and hang out her own clothes while her
liege lord has occupied himself and
wasted his patrimony at seven-up and
California Jack, then certainly the
rumors of separation are not iil-founded.
I hear 1t reported, too, that Willie sat
down to ~cold-corned beef and beans,
upon his homecoming to supper the
other evening, and that the tiara of
Vanderbilt diamonds whizzed by his
head SO viciously as to cut off one OF mis-
golden curls, when he kicked on the
quality Of his repast. It is said too that
a great deal Of the family plate and cut
glass has been battered up and badly
Clipped, as the compliments of the sea-
son have been 1nterchanped between
Lord and Lady Vanderbilt.
It's a queer distinction that some of
the papers Of the state make, as to the
campaign treatment which should be
accorded the women on the state ticket,
as distinguished from men. And it
strikes me that while this vein of chivalry
is ripping along through our political
system, q little Of it might be applied to
all candidates, without discrimination
Of sex. When. q woma2 becomes associated
with public life and public office, che as
sumes the same liability to criticism as
does any n else who may occupy a
public position. All THE chivalrous
objection to comparing the relative
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