West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1894-03-29
KIyGwooD. W. VA, THURSDAY MARCH 20, 1894.

knotts, whether this animal of
Tommy Hawker's is goat. All
recognize YOU as authority on
sais," as Uncle Tommy led his
"what-is-it" up 10 Uncle jimmy
for inspection. | npticsi Hlwke
was visibly effected as Knots took
survey of the goat. After thor.
ough examination Knots said:
"As u naturalist aud goateer. it
is my unbiased opinion that this is
not goat. You know, gentlemen.
that we read in the Good Book
where Jacob covered his hands and
face with a goat skin aud presented
himself to Abraham aud thereby
obtained Esau's blessing. But my
eyesight is better than Abraham's 5.
This may be the skin Of goat. but
it is the bray Of something / have
never heard beforc.'
"io oiouoSh tuo iIc Ol haWker
and he retorted.
"iou can't tell n goat from a
sheep. mule from horse This
is a Nubian goat. and the only one
in the United States. Your old
goats are aothing but Guinea
goats -
interposcd an objection, ms DIR.
Fogle had frequently done III the
interest OF Democratic harmony.
could not afford to let lIawker dis
pnte Knotts's authority on goats,
for Knots is battle SCARED vet.
eran and would fight il necessary
to vindIcatc his knowledge of goatry.
So in order to concili,tc matter, |
said:
"Uncle Jimmy, tell us what the
domestic goat Is good for"
"Wiih me the goat takes the
place Of tho sheep aud the COW.
The goat milk is the richest nnd IL
makes better butter and cheese: In
the Good Book we read where job
owned thousands of goats, and also
the lsrae,ites depended on them for
:ood and milk, aud myself and Btb
Williams can bear testimony to he
excellent milk and butter OF the
goat. The milch goat has been
aptly 'lescribel by Newt McGee,
Charley Carroll. John Conley and
Jack Sterling as tie poor mans
cow. description it we'll merits.
for with couple Of these goats the
Shaniytowner can enjoy the same
advantages in domestic point of
view Us the rich man with his jersey
Lilies, Durhams and Alderneys.
McGce. Carroll, Conley and Ster-
ling always steam np on my goat
milk when the engine fails, and
they will tell you that they can butt
anything off the railroad from u
gnat TO an elephant ia ten seconds
after drinking. The agility OF the
goat is remarkable. IL can climb
the roof of house and walk a
stake-and-rideI- fence"
1t was clearly to me that Hawker
was growing impatient. lie han
kercd for blood or the vindlcation
of his goat, and he broke in with,
"You are quoting the Good Book
to prove the superiority OF your
goats. Tell MS Why it is that the
Judgment Day assigns goats to the
left and sheep to the right, thus
indicating that goats arc inferior 20
sheep?" shouted IIawker IN
spirit Of triumph.
"Have you never heard Of the
scape goat in Holy Writ where u
goat was fattcned for six months
and then turned loose to eat up
imposters, bad boys and newspaper
reporters. and made a clean JOB
Of It 2" retorted Knots. ~ ho seized
his trusty cane. 81 tell you now,
Hawker, that that animal you call
a Nubian goat is nothing more or
less than = cross between ground
hog and y monkey, and can prove
IT by Bob Williams"
As lover OF peace and good will
between goat men was not willing
to investigate further III the interest
Of science. thanked Knots for
his valuable information and re-
quest that he and Hawker shake
hands and be friends, which they
proceeded to do. As an evidence