davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
A PROFESSIONAL FAILURE,

"What do you think of them?"
asked the Congressman's wife, spread
ing out before him some new photo
graphs.
81 think they are pretty we'll ger
rymandered, he replied. "They look
about ten years younger than you do. "
Indianapolis Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
NO CHANCE TO RErAlIArE.

'Why do you weep?'
"My dog has been poisoned. Boo,
hoo, hool"
"There, there, my boy! Don't feel
SO badly"
"I can't help it the fellow that did
it has nothing but cat. Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
KNEW THEIR BUSINESS.

Stranger why do the village peo-
pie shut up their houses SO tightly
every night in the summer"
why, stranger, tho vii
lnge band is practicing for tourna.
ment. Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30

white muslin or China silk. The large
hat is of fancy straw, adorned with a
huge erect loop aAd two side-fringed
ends of corded ribbon.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
ANIPLE REASON.

"Her voice doesn't display any re-
markable range" said the first-
nighter. "Why do you advertise her
as high soprano?"
"She costs me five hundred q
week." replied the manager. Wash
ington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
MEMORABLE.

''The Hnmmonds' dinner was q
memorable affair, hear"
"What made il SOP"
"The Hammonds are continually
referring to il. Truth.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.

Philosophy in Jingie-sarcastic-Al-
ways the way-Amplo Reason
After the Manner of Prince
lings-Thrift, Etc. Etc.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30

It's not the ono who strives the most
Who cometh out the winner;
Tho tattest boarder's not tho one
Who eats tho biggest dinner.
Indianapolis Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
ALWAYS THE WAY.

Quericus-"which of those two
fellows is it that can't swim?"
Cynicus-"Why, tho one rocking
the boat. Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
THE TEST.

The Editor --"Mr. Bard, how do
you distinguish between your verse
and your poetry?'
Mr.. Bard-"I read it to my wife,
sir. If she understands it, it's verse
if she doesn't, it's poetry. Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
vACUTrY.

"Whnt are you looking ate"
Nothing
"Do YOU find it?"
eyes"
"What does it look like?"
Nothing. Life.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30

The sapphire which adorns the sum
NIT OF the English crown is the same
that Edward the Confessor wore in
his ring.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
THRIFT.

First Millionaire-"Make anything
on the deal?"
Second Millionaire-"Only fifty
thousand"
First "Wcll, every fifty
thousand counts Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
ron A YOUNG GIRL.

A charming costume for girl OF
fourteen is made Of lowered delaine,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30
SARCASTIC.

Hicks-"The paper says there was
a fire started in our street early this
morning"
Mrs. Hicks-"well, nobody will
suspect you of building it it!"-Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30

set off with lace tabs, insertions and
panels. IL has n folded belt and fly
bows in MORE, in the darkest tint OF
the pattern. A gauged yoke is OF
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1894-08-30

ca comes on but WY.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
4 Measly Family.

If there ever was man soreiy
atfl cted. in every sense of the word,
aud one who needed the patience
and forbearauce of Job, at his best,
that man is John Hrni, the energetic
young grocery merchant on the ave
nue. First, Mr.. Hirni's wife was
taken down with the measles, his
oldest child has the measles. his
next oldest child has the measles, his
third child has the measles, his sec
ond child has the measles and the
baby has the meales, his delivery
boy has the messles and the hired
girl has the measles. While John.
himself, hasn't got the measles, yet
he is slightly exposed to the measly
disease.-Rich Hill Review.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
Virginia Items,

Mr.. Grant Garner has good flax
seed for sale, call soon. Flax seed is
cash
$. E. Cobb pays 81 on his subscrip-
ton thank to Mr.. Cobb.
NJ. 0. Powell has tobacco seed for
sale.
Mr.. Warren Ayers has seed oats for
sale.
There will be n supper at the Beth
el school house Friday night March
second.
Ben Watkins has his new house al
most completed.
Tom Wright has moved east of
Butler. Also changes his address to
Butler.
Uncle Israel Nestlercde is on the
sick list.
Rov Gardner found pair of specks
one and one fourth miles north of
town.
Tom Wright is preparing to set a
couple of hens.
Shifting season of the year has
come again the wagon Is coming and
going.
Geo. Metcalf, VIM. Cuzick, Gorden
Wallace and Lewis Dunsworth made
a tyfng trip to Butler Monday.
Prank Nash has good stock farm
for sale.
Our school will be out in about two
weeks.
Toe Rinehart has moved on the old
Morris farm north of Pinchum.
have hay for sale.
! 1t would be quite a surprise To many
TO know that there was a fac simile of
the L. s. Congress at the Grand View
school house on last Saturday night.
Certain bills were before the house,
and amendments were offered which
caused the sarious congressman to
become boisterous, much excited and
some of them even showed decided
pugilistic tendencies, Senators Whin.
merry, Wheeler, Morrison, Cumiford
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
Prairie City Item.

Everybody was visiting somebody
Sunday; it being such fine day.
Sunday school was largely attend
ed quite a number Of visitors being
present.
Walter Stilwell of Rich Hill, return
ed home Friday on account of having
the measles.
Albert Sundirwirth has left his
many friends here and returned to
Gasconade county, his former home,
TO clerk in a general wholesale house.
J F Summy's infant son has been
undergoing a very severe attack of
pneumonia, but we are glad to learn
is improving.
w II Sunny and wife Of Rich Hill,
were over visiting relatives and
friends Sunday.
A case of smallpox is reported to be
in Papinviile, but we can't vouch for
the truth Of the statement.
Horse thieves visited our community
Saturday night, taking a valuable
horse belonging to j Wells. The
horse was found the next morning
tied to the fence one-half mile from
home completely exhausted.
Land buyers are thick among us }
g Adams is likely to sell to brother
in-law of J s Eddy. who recently ar
rived from Nebraska.
f NJ Shrum Of Schell City was over
Sunday we didn't learn his business.
J b Durand and family attended
quarterly meeting at Rockville Sup
day.
Mart Kaufman started Monday,
TO Indian Territory.
Jonathan Yost is prospecting for
coal, and we are told, is meeting with
good results.
St.Aubrey shipped a load of the
finest cattle we ever saw fed i'll this
community. one day last week.
HARRY.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

Eufala, I. T, Feb. 26.-Joseph
Dick, full blooded Creek Indian.
was shot to death ten miles west of
here late Saturday for tie murder
of another Indian named Grey.
Both men We're in love with the
same girl
When told that the morning of his
last day on earth had arrived Dick
merely asked if the Judge would not
defer the execution until Sunday.
When informed that he could not
he only said ''all right The sheriff
went out and selected spot for tue
execution. He placed a small box
against tree and returned to the
Jail and beckoned to the prisoner to
follow him.
Dick Strengthened himself up,
looked around at the ten guards sur
rounding hlm and lelsurely strolled
out to the place OF execution He
took seat upon the box, and, this
proving unsteady, he arose and jam
med it down solidly and then again
sat upon it as coolly as though he
were taking his seat to be photo
graphed.
\ red handkerchief was tied over
his eyes and piece Of white paper
was pinned over bis heart. No. a
muscle of his face or hands moved.
Two of the guards took position
twenty FIVE feet distant and fired at
the white spot, killing Dick instantly
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

Springfield, Ill, Feb. 23,-The
State Board of Health to-day receiv-
ed a report from DR. julius Kohl,
member of the board at Belleville.
saying he had visited the hospital
near Edwsrdsville. on the Poor
Farm, and found everything in good
shape. A tramp carried the disease
to the hospital and has since died.
No other deaths. Fourteen viruient
cases on hand The farm is quaran
tined and patroled day aud night by
armed guards. There are no cases
in Eduardsville. Mayor is using all
his power to keep the disease out of
that town One new case is report
ed from Winnebago County.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
summit Items.

The beautiful snow has about dis
appeared.
1t seemed, the past week, that the
icy regions of the North had moved
down upon us.
The Literary at RedmOn school
house is progressing nicely with Miss
Annie Whitsett occupying the chair
The paper gotten up by various
ones of the school, is spicy and enter
tanning to all who attend.
A band is being organized by Mr..
Charles Fisk at Summit school house,
SO we expect to be entertained during
the next campaign with soul stirring
music. They will name the band
after its organization is complete.
The wedding bells are again jing-
ling in Summit and by this time next
week think we will be able to give
your readers some information in
that line.
Elder Geo. Webb has been employ
ed for the year at Elizabeth Chapel,
and from the way he is starting in
will wake some of the old sinners up
before the year draws to q close.
One evening last week, it being Mr..
p. E. Henley's birthday, number
of neighbors went in and entertained
him with an oyster supper, though
not without giving him quite a sur
prise. He was gotten off in the after
noon by a couple of neighbors on a
hog driving tour and held away with
out suspicion being aroused i'll the
good fellow, until about half past
seven when he arrived home and
found &c. Suffice it to say he was
the most surprised hog driver we've
seen in a long time.
An oyster supper has been arrang-
ed to take place on Wednesday night
for the benefit Of those who feel them
selves sighted by not receiving all
invitation to a wedding which will
have taken place before this will APP
pear. 1t is conducive to good health
and longevity to not take little
oversights, rs named, to heart.
Mr.. A. W. Stearns who moved up
from Eldorado Springs last fall has
his neat residence completed except
inside work which has been delayed
on account of the weather. We un-
derstand he is now confined to his
bed with threatened attack of pneu-
monia Hope TO hear of his conva-
iesence soon.
John l.. Moore started yesterday
with a shipment of cattle to X. {.
Did not learn how many he took but
predicted shave will cost him more
after being on the market than be
fore if rated by tho looks or appear
ance of mans face. But John gen
orally takes his medicine in good
shape. WEUNS.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
r. S. Catron insures growing
cops against hail, also writes fire and
tornado insurance. 1 l3 If
He Got the Hat.

Niagara Falls, Feb 23.-Two
we'll known travelling passenger
agents had an exciting time here
yesterday
John E. Burke Of the Louisville
and Nashville, and VIM. ]. Kelly, Jr,
of the Chicago and St. Paul, were
in the city on business. In compa-
ny with local passenger agent B.
K. Dennison of the New York Cen.
tral, they visited the ice bridge.
While on the brink Burke's hat was
blown off and rolled down the ice on
the side of the mountain towards the
American Falls
Burke, without thinking of his
danger dropped down on his stom
ach to lean over aud secure the hat.
He began to slide down the side Of
the ice mountain toward the whlrl
ing water ana certain death.
He shouted Help me" and Kel
ley, leaning over, caught his foot
The ice was slippery aud Kelley lost
his footing and he too began te
slip, Dennison, who is big power
full man, grabbed kelly's leg, and
thus the three men formed loor
over the top of the mountain.
Burke shouted: For Gods sake
boys, don't let 60" Dennison man
aged to get Kelly over to his side ot
the crest, and then they pulled
Burke up. He brought his hat will
him.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

We know and so do you. dear
reader that CASH wins every time
You can understand at once how a
store that sell for cash can afford to
make lower prices than one who
sells on credit. We are doing a
CASH business since the first of the
year and are selling in consequence
more goods for the same price than
while doing a credit business and
the people who trade with US say
it is to their advantage and we say
We can make it to the advantage of
any man or woman who will come to
us. The next time you want a bill
of goods ceme in and look US over
and get our prices Although some
things have advanced in price we
are making the same prices we
quoted in this paper two weeks ago.
We thank all OF our customers most
heartily for past favors and will try
hard to merit continuation of your
patronage. Yours Respectfully,
LEE CULVER & Co
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

Birmingham. Ala, Feb, 24.-Nesr
Manofal an old feud between VIM.
Norton and Jas. Breckinridge end
ed IN the death of both.
The men met at a country store
and opened fire on each other Nor
tou fell mortally wounded. Breck
enridge, to make sure work, drew a
knife and cut the head of his antag
onist from the body and fled. He
was pursued by an angry mob, bu.
when Breckenridge saw he would
be captured AMI perhaps lynched,
be drew kpife and cut his own
.hrnat from ear to ear. dying IN
sight of his would-be avengers
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
Cost in n Murder Trial.

Jefferson City, No.. Feb. 25.-
Ex state senator J. ". Farris of
Laclede county, to day filed with the
clerk of the supreme court manda
mus proceedings against state
auditor J. " Siebert to compel
him to pay large amount of wit
ness fees in bill Of cost ID The
famous Wills Howard murder case.
The bill when it came to Seibert
from circuit clerk c. G. Manchester
Of LacIede county for allowance
amounted to S6,413 13. OF this
sum $3,132.15 was disallowed and
S3, go IS was paid The items cut
out Of the bill were for the mileage
and per diem witnesses summoned
from Kentucky, and the auditor saws
he can find no law on the statute
books authorizing him 10 allow their
accounts The suit is brought by
Messrs keck. Newborese and Sehe
neeber. citizens of Lsciede county
who. 1t seems boasAi the warrants
| OF the foreign Witnesses Attorney
general r. F. Walker will represent
the auditor In the case and is pre-
pairing his return to The papers fled
to day.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
State Officers Indicted

Lansing Mich, Feb. 24-Indic.-
ments have been returned by the
grand jury against Attorney Gener-
al Ellis, Secretary of State Jochin,
State Treasurer Hambitzer, Land
Commissioner Berry and clerks War
rem, Potter aud Bussey.
The indictments charge the Off
GERS with criminal participation in the
frauds III counting the returns on
the constitutional amendment IN.
creasing the salaries of state officers.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
TRAGEDY on A FERRYBOAT.
Charles ii. Harlan Shoots and Kills
Charl-~ +. Moore at JEFF rson
Cltv.

Jefferson City, Mo, Feb, 27.-The
most t' 10 bic t1agedy that ever
occur 1t !" iLl- section Of the state
"ns "c'ei ~ & afternoon on the
u at p.sl'g brta.tn this city
'''H II. away t nntv. Hon, Charles
i 81 Ian and Charles II. Moore,
two # the most II u,nent aud high
Iy respected ci, iZ+u- IF Galloway
became ihvo v'd Il, quarrel and
Harlan shot aud killed Moore. The
fac of he cass are very hard to
obtair.
Eye witnesses on the boat state
that Moore came on the boat about
4:30 from Cedar City, He told
Captain Kay that Harlan was follow
ing hlm aud that he expected trouble
Harlan came a few minutes after
ward and Moore on the advise of the
captain, went up into the cabin to
avoid him, but was followed by Har.
lau. A war of words eusued and
Moore left the cabin and returned to
lower deck, picking up a peice of
cord wood as he passed the engine
room. Harlan again followed him
and the quarrel was renewed The
crew of the boat again intelfsred,
but Harlan insisted that be would
not desist until Moore dropped the
stick of wood A moment later he
drew his revolver and fred the fatal
shot. Moore staggered up the com
panionway to the cabiu and sank Oh
the floor in dying condition He
lived about twenty minutes after the
shooting.
Harlan mounted a horse and rode
away saying, as he left: "I'm going
down home Tell the sheriff il he
wants me he can find me there
Moore's body was brought to this
city where he is residing temporarily
He is wealthy, retired farmer and
a man of high character
Harlan has i'll the past been one of
the leading democratic politicians of
Galloway county. He was elected
representative in 1883 and in 1890
was candidate for the democratic
nomination for railroad commission
er.
The trouble, it is learned, between
the men was not of recent origin. 1t
grew ont of business transaction, and
Moore expressed fears some days
since that something Of the kind
would come. He was a mild. inof
fensive man. Harlan is also a good
na'ured. jovial fellow, popular and
we'll liked. He, too, was temporari
ly residing here, hut made almost
daily trips to his farm III Galloway
county
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
SUTLER, MISSOURI, THURSDAY MARCH l. 1894
FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE.
Congressman Wilson's Temperature
Unchanged-His Physicians Now
Hopeful.

uOptIui.
City of Mexico, Feb. 26.-Con
gresham Wilson is in the private
car of a A. Robinson of the central
railway in the company's yards at
Guadalajara. The car is side tracked
and removed as far as possible from
all disturbing influences. The dis
tingulshed patient is receiving the
utmost care aud now has good
fighting chance for his life His
temperature was unchanged and in
consequence the physicians think
this is the thirteenth day Of typhoid
fever. II is not possible to give the
exact age of the disease. as his tenn
perature was not taken daily enroute
from Kansas City to Agaus Calientes
consequently the physicians are
guessing at random, but are conf,
dent it is at least the tenth day, and
believe tito be the thirtee nth day
Guadalajara is $50 miles from this
city-18 hours-by rail. DIR. Pre-
vost can not leave his immense prac-
tice for SO long time. but receives
two lengthy bulletins daily from his
assistant in Guadalajsra. The latter
reports his temperature at 100 this
morning this evening at 1O2
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
Shot Through the Head.

Harrisonville, Mo, Feb. 22.-EIem
Morrison, prominent farmer, and q
widower about 20 years old. living
about II miles west of here, COM
mitted suicide yesterday morning by
shooting himself through the head.
1t is thought he became despondent
because his last child had married
and intended to leave him in the
spring.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

When she was Child, she cried for Castoria
When she becam. Miss. she chung to Castoria
When she had Children, she gave them Castcra
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
OTHER S'rOCKHOlDER..

and the two Harpers We're the mos
active participants in the debate.
n. NJ. NEsTLERODE.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

OF ,aTee years have / suffered
| would break out all over my
head with pirrples which would
form Il watery matter, and ]
would have 10 scratch until l
would bleed. After doctoriaS
with two doctors for three
wears. more or less. / finally
made mp my mind to Try youf
CUTIcU REMEDIES, with
result entirely satisfactory -
he. After using two sets J
am entirely cured. l have reor
commended your remedies u
several persons. and tbey all
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

tel me they are No. /. Our druggist is doing
nice business in CrTICIEA REMEDIES, since Guy
cure. have given him the privilege Of using
my name proof Of their efficiency. encseSs
my portrait. A y. GRAAA.
Photographer, Sit. Horeb, Wis.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
CUTICURl WORKS WONDERS

There il tos1bt that the CrTTcCEA RIB
DIES daily perform more wonderful cures ihzn
ali other skin and b1ood remedies combined.
They instantly relieve and speedily cure every
hz1u1or Of the skin, scalp, and blood with los
of hair. from infancy To age. from piDpie= 10
scrofula, when the best physicians fail.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01

Bod throughout tEe =0rd- Price, crTEr-E8,
s5c-; soar, &c Rz-aLTZsT. 81 POTTER DEEa
AND CHEx- CoEr Sole Propsies0ss. Bcssoa.
Hs" How 10 Cure Sk4a Disezses,'' mated fvss.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1894-03-01
SCRATCHED 3 YEARS
Suffered, Scratched and Bled. Doc
tors No Relief. Cured by Two
Sets Cuticura Remedies.

Nothing like {
manufactured.
with a sore head
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-11-28
Pnsit1ve and Negative,

The Race Question is unsettled.
But it is settled that Hoods Sarsapa-
rilla leads ali remedies.
Disease marches through all lands.
But good health blesses all who take
Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Dyspepsia is great foe of the hu-
man race. But Hoods Sarsaparilla
puts it to flight
Scrofula is one of the most terrible
of diseases. But Hoods Sarsaparilla
expels it from the system.
The people of this day, like job, suf-
fer from boils. But Hoods Sarsa-
parilla is sovereign remedy for them.
Catarrah is one of the most dIsa-
greeable disorders But Hoods Sarea-
parflla is sure TO relieve and cure it.
Rheumatism racks the system like a
thumD-screW. But it retreats before
the power Of Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Loss of appetite leads to melan-
cholia, But Hoods Sarsaparilla makes
the plainest repast tickle the palate.
Life is short and time ie fleeting,
but Hoods Sarsaparilla will bless hu-
manity as the ages roll on.
The Evening dispatch. [volume] (Provo, City, Utah) 1891-1895, 1894-11-28

IT would come very nearly driving
the republicans crazy if it should turn
out that the constitutional convention
is really democratic-which row
seems probable. A slight, however
slight, democratic majority would prove
a godsend. sure enough. But, oh Lord,
how the patriots would howl! We
would court this outcome, If for nc
higher or better motive than to hear
their walls. However. it will result in
saving the taxpayers of the new state
many thousands of dollars, which
otherwise would be coming from the
taxpayers to be placed in the pockets
of the monopolists, No, let US have a
democratic majority and everything
will be right,