Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1894-05-31
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IT WAS A CLOSE SHAVE.


Tut the Disbcarded Captain at Last Made
Terms with His Wife.
Capt. Chauncey, retired Of Brook
lyn, had his beard shaved off last
week In New York, and many men
have lost boards in the same way be-
fore, saws the New York Sun. Capt.
Chauncey however, will never do it
again. AS the barber was using his
shears, he said:
"Haf you fembly?"
Yes" said the Captain, "a wife
and two children"
"Sipce ven vas your viskers shaved
alretty.
Not for twenty years"
"So," murmured the barber. "Vell,
all l god to say ISIS dot you're fembly
Won't know you yet Dots all
Capt. Chauncey's beard had parted
artlstically and was by no means or
binary. After paying the barber for
his work and his comments, Capt.
Chauncey stopped in to see friend
on business
GOOD morning, Blank" he said,
shave you sent that check to -"
What check, sir? Wh-a at.
| Chauncey! The DEVIL"
This was discouraging, but Mr..
Blank made it all right by saying:
"Chauncey, old man, pardon my sur
prise but / never have seen you
without beard. Really it makes
you look ten years younger. 1t does
for fact"
Capt. Chauncey left New York to
face his wife and children with lack
of confidence. He fingered his latch
key nervously, ana wondered if the
hall lights were burning low. Before
he had shed his overcoat Mrs, Chaun-
cey was there to greet him with a
kiss She turned up her face for the
usual greeting. Her eyes met the
Captains and then dropped to his
smoothly shaven chin.
'Oh, Chauncey, how could you de
it? How could you? OH" said Mrs
Chauncey drawing back.
1T was barber, my dear" sa'G
the Captain, remembering now what
the barber had said about his bearC
and his 'tembly"
But. Chauncey, how dreadful.
will nave to get used 10 you by de
grees. Don't stand in that strong
| ght, my dear. Oh, it's too dread
full, and what will the girls say!
Chauncey, they mustn't see you un.
til have prepared them. It will bt
a shock"
Capt Chauncey enjoyed his din
ner and his courage came back. Mrs
Chauncey talked about the mission
airy box she was making up ana occa
siOnally stole glance at Der hus
band. Capt. Chauncey went to
business meeting at the church. ant
when the writer called at tn
Chauncey house later that evening h,
found all the lights burning low
Capt. Chauncey was on a couch il
the darkest corner of the room, ant
Mrs Chauncey still thought it wa
dreadful. II shall get accustomed t
it," she said, land perhaps l shall
approve. The girls haven't seen tn
Captain yet"
'Why, my DEAR" said Capt
Chauncey, II feel as l did when
| was az w CSu l. olAU was
nuisance. Very few people wea
boards now, and Pm glad it's gone.
There was more apology than glee i
this remark.
"Well, Chauncey," said his wife
81 might have expected somethin
like this. 1t is The logical sequenc
of man with two children who b,
gins to smoke cigarettes. The
weaken the intellect and, anyway
they don't smell as nice as cigar,
Chauncey, I'll forgive you on cond
tion that YOU will stop smoking ciga
ettes"
81 will, my dear, I'll never smok
another one," said the Captain
eagerly. as he settled into the shade
and stroked his smooth chin proudly
and suggested that ii his feeling
were any indication the Gerry S,
ciety would probably interfere wit
his smoking the paper-covered boy
destroyers anyway.