Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-04-05

Let Us All Laugh.
The kick of COW Is not the most
acceptable form of milk punch.
Farmer.
LOVE may be blind, but the neigh
bors generally aren't. = Somerville
Journal.
LoT's poor wife Is not the only
woman who did not want to move
Dallas News.
NATURALLY when a girl goes to
work out she hates to stay in.-El-
mira Gazette.
A GOOD many men are like cheap
theatrical bills-a very little money
causes them to be stuck up.-BuffalO
Courier.
WAITER-"What kind OF fish will
you have, sir, bluefish or whitefsh?"
Guest-"I don't care; I'm color
blind. Halo.
EVERY singer in a quartet can tell
you three good reasons why the or
ganization isn't absolutely perfect
Elmira Gazette.
VAN WARBLER - "Ah, Stables,
have you heard my last song?"
Stabbes-"Heaven knows, hope So"
Brooklyn Life.
SON-"Pa, what political party did
Washington belong tor" Father
Neither: he couldn't tell lie."-
Detroit Free Press.
DON'T be clam. IF you've got to
be anything Of the kind, be mud
turtle. Then you may have some
snap to you-Texas Siftings
No MATTER how fair and square he
may want to be the average poultry
dealer is compelled to earn his living
by fowl means.-Buffalo Courier.
"WHY does De Topper attend every
temperance meeting In town." @Be-
cause that's the only place where his
creditors don't look for him. Halo.
Mr.. MCCoRKLE was showing some
visitors over the house. Arriving at
the nursery he remarked: This,
gentlemen, is the bawl-room. It'd
Bits.
ETHEL-@Do you allow Charles to
kiss you when you are not yet en-
gagged to him." Maud-"It isn't an
allowance. He calls it perquisite."
-Raymond's Monthly.
BERLINER-"This scenery is really
grand" Native-"But you have
grander views near Berlin?" mo,
indeed" Il am afraid you are not q
Berliner. "-Fliegende Blaetter.
THERE are several young men in
the car" remarked Mrs. Holdstrap
with some feeling, "but they can
hardly be classed among the rising
generation. boston Transcript.
WELL" said James Easydo, "I've
got down to my last loaf" Great
heavens, mani" said his friend, at
isn't so bad as that, is it?" "Yes, I
go to work tomorrow. Washington
Star.
"YoU seem very fond of Wagner.
Mrs. Feathergilt." "Yes; when they
play Wagner one feels so confident
that ones conversation Is not being
overheard by some impertiment out
slider. Washington Star.
AFFABLE SwELL-"Well, the fact
Is, my name Is not SmithsOn. You
zee, / am travelling incog. There's
10y card" Fellow Passenger-@Glad
10 hear 1t. Pm travelling in pickles.
Here's mine. Brooklyn Life.
A GEORGIA undertaken has adopted
a novel method for increasing his
business His advertisement reads:
Funerals on the installment plan.
Two dollars a week will bury your
best friend. Atlanta Constitution.
AT THE OPERA. Brown
There's Mrs. Montmorenci over
there! I wonder how she can enjoy
the opera. Why, she's deaf as a post"
Mrs. Gray-"But see how elegantly
she is DISQUALIFICATION Transcript.
Miss WITHERs-"When was born,
my grandmother predicted that
would never live to be DID," Silling-
ton (wishing to be pleasant)-@Ha,
ha, ha! Ho; no, no! What a good
joke you must have on your grand
mother!"-Puck.
MRS. HONEYMOON Ito bridegroom
in railway train)-Do you love me?
Old party (confldentially, from other
seat, to bridegroom)-She's asked you
that forty-seven times already.
get out here, but I'll leave the score
with this gentleman by the window.
It'd Bits.
THAT was remarkable event
that reconciliation between the EN-
peror William and Bismarck" re-
marked the advance agent. Yes"
replied the commercial traveller; @but,
to be candid, can't make up my
mind whether that was a bona tide
reconciliation or a champagne ad-
yertisement. Washington Star.
SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER = Chill
dren, do you know the house that is
open for ALTO the poor, the rich,
the sad, the happy; to man and to
woman; to the old and to the young?
Do you know the house 1 mean?
Little Johnny - Yeth, ma'am, 1
know. Sunday-school teacher-Well,
Johnny, what house is it? Little
Johnny-The station-house.- Halo.
@WHY are you 80 sad, Brushe?"
asked the critic Of the impressionist
painter. II have been at work for
two years on my great picture" said
Brushe. "Well?" "This morning IL
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