The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-07-30

A secret is no longer a secret when you
have confded it to your confidential friend
-Somervil1e Journal.
Be polite to everybody There's no tell
ing when you may have something to sell
-Atchison Globe.
Let yoh aims be high, - said Uncle Eb-
en-, ssbut doan' forgit dat dab am mob
practical returns UNI q good job OBJ white
washin dan icy is fun bad job of LAM
scape paintin. ''-Washington Star.
If a man has an income of over $125 a
month, the newspapers say he is wed
ded. ? Otherwise they speak of it as mar
ried. ''--Atchison Globe.
There are signs of growing enIghten-
ment in the suburbs. One man said to
another in Harlem suburban train the
other day, Any marks of Improvement at
your placer" NO" replied the other.
I see no marks OF improvement, but there
are plenty of houses going up. New
York Sun.
A Kansas man who lost 500 chickens
that were aboard one of the stolen trains
has entered cult in the United States courts
for the value of them He wants to recoop,
so to speak.=Philadelphi Ledger.
1t seems to have developed that if enough
men get together they can get anything
they want for nothing. -Atchiscn Globe.
Doctor-Did you apply mustard plas-
ter to your spine? Patient-Ycs. Doctor
Didn t you find it u great help? Patient
No I felt that it was q great draw
back---Nedical News
Some pessilnists may stil1 contend that
marriage is q failure, but in the bright
lexicon of the operatic prima donna there
is no such word as fail.-Ba1timore Amer
lean.
1t is a great deal easier to believe the re-
turned anglers story when he sends you
round q goodly portion of the fsh.-Som-
erville Journal
An animal dealer says that the giraffe
is SO difficult to obtain and accIimatize for
ffa.rt no
falls as low as S. 600. The giraffe comes
high.-Philadelphi Ledger.
Among the latest spring openings are
the series of earthquakes predicted by
weather prophets. Baltimore American
Among the Chinese who have registered
under the Geary act in Jacksonville, Or,
is one named Yung HysOn. It suits him
to q tea, as he is in that business.-Phila-
delphia Ledger
When bride has been married about
three weeks, she begins to send home for
the old clothes she refused to take with
her-Atchiscn Globe
Brother Talmagc has resigned once and
been fired out three times, but he's there
yet.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The life of dress suit is about o years
if tho young man is careful of it and does
not lend it to any one fatter than he is A
girl has to get new party dress every sea-
son or look like a last years birds nest.
--Atchison Globe.
"A 1MelDOUlSO preacher mas Deen appoint
ed a whisky gauser at Peoria, probably on
the ground that to the pure all things are
ure.=Chicago Times.
Jillson says it is lucky for some men
that the law against suicide doesn't pro
vide penalty for shooting of ones
northumberland Courier.
The ball player IS always anxious for a
change of basc.-Philadelphia Record.
Once there was a newspaper man who
did not think that some day he should
write novel. This is confidently offered
in competition for the prize offered for the
lwbiggest lie.-Scmerville Journal.
So far as VIC ever heard, no great man
ever wore badge at a communicated
son Globe
Book Agent (entering the sanctum) u
have a little work here which ''Ex-
cuse me, - interrupted the victim, 'sbut L
have a great deal Boston Courier.
If you want every man you meet to
treat you to q cigar, resolve to quit smok-
ing.-Atchison Globe.
Every lard manufacturer may not sue
coed, but he tries just the same--Phil-
adelphia Record.