The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1894-05-11
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

4
gan to laugh immoderately over some
amusing narrative, and finally, TO his
dismay, was conscious that he could
not stop. The doctor had given him
mp, and the family were gathering
around in expectation of the end
when a telegram arrived saying that
his wlfe's mother was coming to
make short visit. He was saved
and has laughed no more since.-
London It'd Bits.
The following story is told of a
Saltwater doctor, who attended up-
on close-fsted son of Erin during a
recent Illness. Pat called in one day
and demanded an itemized bill. II
was itemized thus "Medicine, rs
CENTS; four visits, $12; total, $12. .75. "
"All roight," replied Pat, "here is
yer sivintY-foive cints, 0i'll pay back
the visi.s," and he walked away be-
fore the doctor could reply.
Money Saved is Money Earned /:
Wife-You must take me to the op-
era tomorrow night. Everybody else
is going. Husband IA smart NAM
or course we'll 20. saw the new
prima-dOnna on the street to-day
the most enhancing creature. Such
eYesl Such hair ! Such perfect
features Money is very scarce; but
we mustn't miss this opera. Wife
If money is scarce, why didn't you
say so before ? Never mind the op-
era. Wen go to the old ladies' dime
social instead.-N. Y. Weekly.
What Aunt Maria Thought: ''Jon-
ah," remarked Aunt Maria to her
nephew, "why in the name Of good
ness did you ever become a preach
er ?" this after she had heard him in
the pulpit for the 6rst time. tBe-
cause, Aunt Maria" he replied, ,s.1
was called" "Ugh, she exclaimed.
maybe you was, but all I've got to
say is, you held a mighty poor hand"
Detroit Free Press.
The Professors Resources A few
years ago Prof. Jowett invited the ex-
tension students to meet at Oxford,
and suggested to the dons that it
would be graceful thing for them
to vacate their rooms for the visitors.
The dons demuIred. The master,
however, had sole control of the chap
el services and of the provisions. The
former he heightened very consider
ably, and the latter were reduced to
the lowest ebb. Under this policy
the dons began to leave town for a
holiday. AS the last of them disap-
peared in the direction Of the railway
station the master rubbed his hands
and said "This kind goeth not out
but by prayer and fasting. "-Ex.
Fred's Supposition: Fred.-AIam-
ma, doesn't that colored boy make
awful faces playing on the barmoni-
con ? Mamma-He does, indeed,
Fred. Fred-Mamma, is that what
is called expression in playing P
Harper's Yonng People.
Prescribing Sure Cure Jack
| am troubled greatly with insomnia
these nights. May-Why don't you
talk to yourself after going to bed ?
Town Topics.
Author (whose new play is being
hissed by the whole audience)-Heay-
ems ! | shall have to hiss, too, or they
will find out that am the author
Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Earle-Your daughter has
been studying painting, has she not 2
Mrs. Lamoyn-Yes you should see
some of the sunsets she paints. There
never was anything like them. New
York Observer.
Ragged Richard (insinuatingly)-
Say, mister, have yer got emmy sug-
restions ter make ter felIer wat
amt able ter raise er dime ter git
shaved with ? GrUmple (passing On)
Yes raise whiskers.-Buffalo Cou-
rier.
Mrs. Numother-Look at the baby;
doesn't he seem really different from
most babies of his age--he is So
Mr.. Crusty-Yes-er-I think very
often they are quite attractive, but as
YOU say, he is different.-Chicago In
ter Ocean.