The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1894-07-25
ALI Sorts of Paragraphs.

Neus.
All Sorts of Paragraphs.
= Old age is youth magni6ed.
Never trust woman half way.
The sun never shines in some
churches.
= We can never give the flowers
what they give us.
Mature never refuses her hand
to chose who would, take it.
a-F Famine caused parents to cat
their children in Italy in $50.
"A gallon of alcohol can be made
from bushel of sweet potatoes. Is
"A human skull as large as a
bushel basket has been found in Sic
lily.
"A woman loves a man because
she loves him, and that is reason
enough in her mind.
No child would love its mother
if it's mother treated it as badly as it
treats it's mother.
= When man puts on a new suit
Of clothes he things the whole world
takes notice of it.
= The official record of marriage is
not kept in South Carolina. 1t is the
only State so neglectful.
= No fewer than 1850 ancient man
uscript copies of the New Testament
in wole or in part exist.
"A man who shaves regularly
until he is eighty years old cuts off
about thirty-fve feet Of hair.
= Persons with long palms are al
ways amiable, good-natured, having
little taste for contradiction or criti-
cism.
If you want to place small hoy
in one spot where you will be sure to
find him FIVE minutes later, put him in
the pantry.
The German mile of to-day is
24,31S feet in length, more than
four times and half as long as our
mile.
"Were you good to your little
sister on the Fourth, Tommy ?" ooh,
indeed was. Why, I set of all her
frecrackers for her.
Jaspar-Girls always want to
marry for love, but when they grow
older they look after the money.
Jumpuppe-You express yourself
very ungallantly. Women never grow
older They simply grow wiser.
= Although Queen Victoria rules
over an empire that embraces posses
sions in every part of the world, she
has never travelled outside Of Europe,
and even there her trips have been
short ones to France, Holland, Ger
many and Italy only.
A good many enthusiastic Brit
ishers who enlist to serve their coun-
try seem to find the conditions of SER
vice unsatisfactory, for nearly $780,
900 was paid last year by recruits to
purchase their discharge before they
had been in the army three months.
Only seven of the the seventeen
transatlantic cables are in use-ten
having given out from various causes.
Estimating the cost of each cable at
s3,OOO,OO0, here is an irreclaimable in
vestment Of $50, 900, 900 buried beneath
the ocean.
A Georgia lady who has cleared
lots Of money selling eggs, chickens
and butter says that fresh fat piece.
of lightwood kept in the water trough
will preserve the health of chickens
all the summer and fall. The piece Of
lightwood should be changed OCCASION
ally.
"Why did you never marry,
Tom ?" "Well, you see, old man,
when I was quite young resolved |
would never marry until I found an
ideal woman. After many years |
did find her" "Well, then ?"
"She was looking for an ideal man"
The New York Sun predicts that
in FIVE years from now there will be
no difference between bicycles built
for ladies and those for men. 1t
bases its prediction on the fact that
the divided skirt for lady cyclists is
growing in popular favor, and with its
use all need of different construc-
tion is avoided.
An Englishman has invented
way to warm beds by electricity. /.
Thin plates of metal, connected with
the main electric supply of the house,
are placed under the sheets switch
at the head of the bed is turned on
ten minutes before the occupier of the
bed retires for the night, and the
whole bed is nicely and evenly warm
ed.
"A well-known Oxford professor
of mathematics is so completely abb
sorbed in his profession that he is be-
coming more and more absent-mindcd
every day. One day recently he re-
marked to one of his students
Something very stupid happened to
me the other morning. believe I am
becoming little absent minded"
"What is it 2' 'You see I wanted
to take my wife out for a drive and
give her some fresh air, and when I
came to think over it, l remembered
that I never had a wife"