Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1894-09-29

clean lives as they expect the women they
marry to possess. That is not the standard
having married a man, a woman binds her.
self at the altar to take him as she finds
MIN. Vile though his past may be, she con-
dones 1t when she consents to bear the
name he has perhaps made notorious.
Marrying a man to reform him is bad bust
ness, but foolish women enter into that kind
OF bargain every day in the year, with
their eyes wide open. Having done So they
should abide by their choice, and seek to
plan for future IN which there will be no
plague spots to cover up. Remember, the
past Is past. With that you have naught to
40. Make the happiness Of the present the
ann OF your life, and, my word for 1t, the
future will take care of itself.
once n Lover Always n Lover.
hoid TO the idea that woman should
always keep her husband her lover. She
can do 1t, too. If she tries That is. 1t can
De done II there ever was any real love.
1t Is too often the case that men and women
make grievous mistakes. then life of en-
durance is about all one can council, but
even that may be frightened great deal,
II the two concerned are reasonable and
reasoning human beings.
nave heard women complain sometimes
tnat their husbands were not as attentive
as they should be, and after a more init
mate acquaintance with the complaining
wives, the wonder to me was how they
could expect a man to love such unloN ely
creatures as they are two-thirds of the time.
Men are gregarious animals, and they want
who wishes to retain the respect, to say
nothing of the regard or love of a man
whose friendship is worth retaining, has
got 10 cultivate herself all the time.
NOW as to cultivation. In the first place
woman ought to always keep herself tidy.
do get SO out of patience with some of
my women friends who think that any
thing Is good enough for home folks" A
MAKING hnrna nla to
ana sleep only could scarcely be devised.
When Dick said that woman was neces-
sary 10 make home what it should be, he
was not thinking about slouchy trump of
a woman, who could write for the maya
zines, but couldn't manufacture a pudding;
nor slipshod creature who could talk
Pontics with him, but who would wear
ciothes tnat would be a reproach to a pawn
shop. A woman answering to either de-
scr1ption couldn't make a comfortable home
1or Digger Indian. woman who starts
out 10 make a home has got to put the
nome first, and everything else must be
inaue subServfent to that. She NAV have
her clubs and societies. be welded to art.
ana devoted to music; she may theorize
apout advanced education for her SEX and
champion the ultra ideas for the emancipa-
tion OF women, but first of all and above
an she must put her home and give to 1t
oie Uesl energies OF her soul, or she will be
Iaiiure as home maker.
nave always said, and I always shall
that the woman who marries l don't care
now hlgh her station in life, how exalted
her name, or how vast her wealth. should
pc mistress of all the details of household
aHairs. In these days of shifting values
tne unexpected Is the thing to prepare for
anu the woman of wealth today may to-
morrow be called upon to sacrifice every
thing she possesses to save the good name
OF which she is proud. This has practically
happened To several women who have held
nisn positions in the social life of official
circles in this country in the last two wears
1t has been my experience to know two
women who joined their own wealth and
1amiiy In marriagerwith men of like wealth
ana ana family. How those women could en-
tertain. 1t was like reading of the famous
French salons. They were keen of wit.
broadly educated, fascinatingly brilliant In
every way. In financial panic, both had
10 give up all that they owned. Not even
the art treasures that they had gathered
were left to them. They began life again.
Two Typical Cases.
One In fiat, the other in a little frame
cottage. Both were literally crushed to
earth by the misfortunes that came thick
and fast and 1t was question whether
both would not die of broken hearts, In
less than year, one of the women had
gathered around her circle of delightful
people, and her little cottage was the scene
of most charming Informal receptions
where her friends were as glad to be well
coined to cup of tea and biscuit as they
once were to her elegant banquets. Though
In middle life when misfortunes came, she
applied herself assiduously to the acquire
ment of that knowledge of household af-
fairs that had been left out of her educa-
ton, and had mastered every detail Econ
omy, bald and threadbare. was plainly writ
ten all over her dantily kept home in
which her own hands did most of the work
but she held herself well together, and kept
pace with her husband mentally and ply
sically. She was his helpmeet, in every
respect, and in the genial atmosphere of
her loving watchfuness, her husbands less
hopeful nature found the stimulant it need
ed, and he began to build anew, for her
sake, when his own disposition was to give
up, and drift with the tide of wrecked lives.
The other woman was one of the high
and mighty kind, with blood" and a family
tree. She had never worked, nor had her
mother or grandmother before her She
positively refused to lift her hand to as
sst her husband in retrieving his fortune
and withdrawing from her friends, she shut
herself up in the dingy fiat, where she
made life one long torment to her husband
and children, as she bewailed her sad" lot
She neglected her person, and her house.
and when 1 saw her last, although her
health was perfect and always had been,
she looked like some scrub woman, sour
ed, sneering and unlovely. But saddest Of
all, her husband had lost all sense of man
hood and her children were a disgrace to
their fathers once honored name.
The Center of a Home.
have spoken CT these two homes simply
to Illustrate how woman may make or
mar the divinest institution on earth, the
home. Men and women sometimes marry
for money, often for reasons Of state and
not infrequently for business reasons. Such
ms rrages are simply freaks. The average
marriage Is made through a feeling of SEN
timent, and 1t rests with the woman to keep
that sentiment alive She should make her
home so CHEEKY and pleasant that her hus-
band will hate to leave and long to return
to it. But she must remember that its pre-
siding genius must also be bright and at
tractive, so as not to mar the pleasant pic
ture. Practice all the little arts that you
Used before marriage to attract and learn
some new ones. Keep your husband won
dering what charming new pleasure You are
going to spring on him next, but strive in
all this to cater to the better instincts of
the man. Men are hard to drive but easy
to lead. You must not let them know that
you are trying to do either however. 1t is
best to let them think that they are the
mainsprings of the universe, because they
don't get cranky then and do unexpected
things.
The making of home is a great resron-
sibility, and it falls heaviest on the woman
because she Is essentially the center.
Around her all the structure is built her
tastes and desires dominate 1t, her will is
its law her rule Is supreme If the home