The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1894-02-24
sALNAGUNDI.

~ So tE
resolutions of disrespect for the benefit
Of the democratic party.
If Marriage is a lottery there are many
old maids who'd like to know where
tickets are sold.
A cork screw curl hanging on the
forehead and north of the nose is the
style which succeeds the bang.
jacksonville is to have one of the
sweetest girls in the Midwinter Fair.
She will be made entirely OF sugar. She
will be sweeter than some made of paper
and towels.
A week ago the Wadsworth girls
organized al anti-slana society. Each
girl using slang would pay into the gen
eral fund five cents for each offense.
The society has $76in the treasury.
Missouri editors are discussing the
why and wherefore of the fact that a
red-headed man is never sunstruck.
The Grass Valley Union suggests that
the reason is the Lord don't want to
send too much misfortune on a man at
one time.
The Lord never intended that a father
should hold the baby, or he would have
given him a lap.-Ex. But that same
father managed to hold the baby's
mother in his lap many a time du ring
the counting days and never thought OF
complaining.-Carson News.
A pusher of the pencil went out to
report a party the other evening where
the home had recently been blessed by
a baby. Accompanied by his best girl
he met the hostess at the door, and
after the usual s%alutation he asked
about the baby's health. The lady, who
was quite leaf and suffering with the
grippe, thought he was asking about
her cold and told him she usually had
n every winter; this is the worst one
she ever had it kept h r awake nights
a good deal. Then noticing that the
scribe was getting pale and nervous she
said she could tell by his looks that he
was going to have one just like hers,
and asked him to 20 in and sit down.
The paper was out as usual next week,
but the local column did not contain
any news of the baby.-Ex.
A doctor wa much annoyed by a
small boy peddliug peanuts, who called
frequently at his office. One morning
the doctor saw the boy coming with the
basket of peanuts, evidently steering in
his direction. Above his office desk was
a ease containing a skeleton, which for
convenience vas 50 arranged that the
man OF bones came out into the room as
large as life. As the boy opened the
door and yelled "peanuts!" the doctor,
without looking around, pushed the
button and the grinning skeleton
promptly responded. With one scream
the boy dropped his basket and fled.
The kind hearted doctor picked up the
basket and FASTENED after the fleeing
boy, who was half a block away.
"Here, boy, come and get your pea
outs !" cried the doctor.
With one scare look over his shoulder
the frightened boy replied mot much
1 know you if you have got your clothes
on.'-Ex.
Who can point out the cause of the
financial depression? George Gould says
it is the hostility to corporations, the
farmer says it is the low price of wheat,
the silver men say it is the action Of
Wall street, Wall street says it is the
action of silver men, the manufacturer
says it is the lear Of Tree trade, the con
sumner says it. is the tariff, the capitalist
says it is the exhorbitant demand of
labor, the laborer says it is the oppres-
sion of capital, the debtor says it is the
creditor, the creditor says it is the debe-
tor, the Democrat says it is the Republic
can, the Republican says it is the
Democrat, the Populist says it is both,
somebody else says it is the discomfort
created by Populists and Alliances, the
Prohibiticnist says it is whiskey and the
preacher says it is the devil.-Ex