Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-07-26

by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"a Budget CT Fun.
FooD for thought-those side
tracked cars of beef.-Lowell Cour-
Ter.
WIMBLEBY calls his dog Mon
SeQuitur" because he doesn't follow.
Boston Transcript.
WE never saw a man riding a BIZ
cycle who looked as if he really en-
joyed it.-Atchison Globe.
EVEN without a single stroke Of
her racket the tennis girl makes q
hit.-Philadelphia Times
"MY eyes are failing terribly" said
Miss Smith, 81 must consult an opti-
mist. "-Arkansas Traveller.
II is very generally agreed that
fourishing town is town with
brass band.--Galveston News.
H1ees-Figgs is prospecting, isn't
he? Hatch-Oh, yes; he's got now
to where he can sass his butcher. =
Judge.
IT'S in the nature Of things that
when a man is very short he should
be more or less crusty. -Pittsburg
Chronicle.
For that matter, all first boy ba-
bies are princes, and princes Of walls
as a general thing, too.-Philadel
phia Times
IT is believed the seventeen-year
locusts will finish their business and
adjourn before Congress does.
dletown Times
"WHEN is a fellow lying low"
when he is whispering soft moth
ings into the ear Of the summer girl"
Boston Gazette,
YACHTING gloves are the latest
fad. They are worn chiefly by people
who can't afford to keep a yacht
Boston Transcript.
"THERE is one sign that should be
placed over every letter box in the
city" "What is that?" "Post NO
bills. Yale Record.
WHAT does Barlow mean when he
speaks of his ancestral halls?" az
dunno. Maybe his father was a
truck driver Life
A BURLINGTON girl is learning to
play the cornet and her admirers
speak of her as "the fairest flower
that blows. "-Siftings.
Heller heart is as hard as glass.
I can't make any impression on it.
She-Have you tried a diamond?-
Kate Fields Washington.
1r,oo J>.oalyod
SPECIFICS the other day during a
thunderstorm. Lightning's mighty
powerful. -Philadelphia Ledger.
BALLETEUsE-I will give you a
place in my heart, M. lie Baron,
The Baron Thank you. but Pm not
fond of a crowd. Journal AmusanG,
THE spouse is unreasonable who
accuses her husband Of having taken
Il lark when he has only had twenty
or thirty swallows. Austin States
man.
CLARA When you refused Freddie.
did you tell him to brace up and
lie a man? Sadie-No; I didn't
want to be unreasonable. Detroit
Tribune
BILDECK-I saw the doctors car
rage at your house yesterday. Any
thing serious? Gasser-I should say
So He wanted to collect his bill
Brooklyn Life.
THE most wise looking being on
earth is the young doctor treating his
first case. Subsequently he modifies
his wise look. He knows there is
nothing in it.-Picayune.
POSSIBLY the only advantage an
India rubber man has in a museum
or circus is that it doesn't surprise
him when he's bounced by the man
ager. -Philadelphia Times.
THERE'S a friend downstairs,
waiting for you; says he wants you
only for minute" Mr.. Catchon-
Here, James, take this $40 and keep
it until | come back. Fun.
"IT's good thing people are not
treated nowadays as Ananias was for
lying" "Why?" "Why, if we were,
Albert, nobody'd be left alive but you
and I, and you'd be paralyzed. p
Home Journal.
Ny. YoUNGHUsBAND-"O Doctor,
come at once. My wife is suffering
awful torture" Doctor-"Is it so bad
as that?" Mr.. Younghusband-" Yes;
she has such cold she can't speak.
Hygiene.