The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1894-04-28
sPLINTERs.

1t is said that a young lady in town
found a rusty horse shoe on the street
which she picked up and took home
with her. To bring her unusually good
luck she put it under her pillow when
she went to bed, as she did her false
teeth. When she arose next morning
she adjusted the horse shoe to her
mouth in mistake and it was several
hours before she noticed her mistake.
We mention no MANIFESTATION.
Truly Wadsworth is q town of lodges,
The next proposed order is that of the
old maids. The initiation fee is to be
~ 90 per month for each lady member
and gentlemen members free. The cleo
ton of officers is brief as the old maid
that receives the most unpopular vote
fills all Offices and runs the order to suit
herself 80 as to make the highest stand
ing and il she accomplishes her aim and
and marries she falls heir to all the
money in the Treasury. We think the
organization is u good one and hope it's
life will be short but with great success
as its members expect to be bound by
a solemn oath.
Near Rio Bravo, Kern county, a patch
of ground with SO much alkali that q
man would sink to his shoe tops while
walking on, it, was irrigated and sowed
with corn and grain. The rankest
growth followed, and after three years
of irrigation and cropping there is no
trace Of the alkali except on the tops OF
the checks, while just over the line on
unimproyed land the ground is as white
as a bank Of beautiful snow. There was
no drainage; nothing except what has
been related was done to improve the
soil.
This is a Scotohman prayer. 20 Lord
what are we in thy SIGHT this NIGHT? Gle
us q blessin't this ne time; its no. aften
we bother you. Gle us a wee wark and
big wages, adj a. breed an cheese like
Ben Navi4 and whusky like Loeb Long.
Gle US bulls pork, sleeps beef, an
calf's mutton, ANA new born egg, till
better meats BIZ ready, Sand a blessin'.
An keep US frae all the ghaists all
witches an. land nebbed things that
crawl an,ong the heather. Build a big
wa between ns an the dell, an fur big
yer ane between us an tee Mild Irish
psn, an, put broken bottles
When Lincoln was practicinng in the
old, s~angamon County courthouse, in
the days Of old-fashioned slat ~settess, a
tall, slim lawyer, noted for weafifg a
very short coat, slid along on the seat
to be nearer the advoca g addressing IT. Q
Jury. "A p~rptrdding nail tore the seat of
the lawyers p%antaloons. Obliged TO fol-
low bis opponent immediately there
was hYtiIiie to sew mp the rent in the
garment. A legal wag present wrote a
subscription paper awe, the under
signed, agree to pay the sums get oppo-
site TO our several names for the purpose
of purchasing Brother Brown a new pair
Of pantaloons."s Several of the lawyer
lut down sums ranging from fifty cents
to tencents. The paper was presented
to Lincoln, who sat opposite the rear Of
the advocate, Who; bending over in gest-
icnlation, made quite an exposure.
FLincoln took out his pencil, and wrote
upcn the paper: II have nothing to
contribute 40G1he end in view.s Tie
lawyers roared with laughter; the judge
asked to see the paper, wheG !aaeatso; in
turn, had tn roar, All this time the un-
conscious victim of the fun was ignorant
of the cause'of theaaughter, and at last
joined in the merriment.
!" nr SItvSv BART HASe6n0d