The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1894-03-15
NUMBER 3.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

--Figg-''Tl let you know I'm not
the fool you think" Fogg-'Possibly
not. Which one are you?" = Boston
Transcript.
-Gray-'Dillington dresses pretty
well. Wonder if he earns much mon
ey?" Blacll-"No; but he has big
salary. y."-Boston Transcript.
-Ethel-'Jack Jollyboy is very inn
pudent He attempted to kiss me last,
night" arissa-'Impudent? should
call him crazy."-N. Y. Press. 81
She Didn't. - Husband (irately)-
''You think you know everything, don't
you?" Wife (softly)-"No, dear; / nev-
er did know why you know so little"
Detroit Free Press
-''Im worried about my st. Bernard
dog" ''Why?" Hes losing his appe-
tite." 'Pm worried about mine, too"
''Why?" "He isn't" - Washington
Star.
Handlers doctor, I'm getting so
near-sighted that l can't recognize peo-
pie in the street. What shall do for
it?" The Dcctor-''Why not pay your
debts?"-Elmira Gazette. ,
Can l leave little poem with
you?" asked the young author. "You
can,' replied the editor, ''all poems
get left in this vicinity. Atlanta Con-
stitution.
I'm the Cannibal Islands.
What is the matter with you, my
son? Have you eaten anything that
disagreed with you?" Son-''That is
why ate him. ."-Boston Transcript
Not in Love.-"How do you know
that DeVere is not in love with Mabel
Sweetbriar?' Because l heard him
tell her the other evening when they
came from church that he knew of a
short cut home. Detroit Free Press.
-Cholly-''It-aw-m be all wight,
| you know, but I-aw-fnd it doosed
| hard to believe that we are descended
from-aw-monkeys. Miss Smart
| (after looking him over)-"I dom t. -
| N. Y. Press.
-"And So Peter, you spell women
with an 'a?' said the teacher, correct
ing an exercise. "Please, sir," was the
reply, my papa told mamma only yes
terday that women were singular
beings. Music and Drama.
-Seedeigh-''I must raise some
money somewhere. l owe my land
lady for six weeks board" Stuart
Cant you stand her off any farther?"
Seedeigh-"Great Scott! no; she's dis
tant enough already" y."-Raymond
Monthly.
-Chappie-"Doctah, Pm afwaid I
have tobacco heart" Squills-"Have,
eh? What do you smoker" Chappie-
''Cigawettes, doctah." DIR. Squills-
Calm your fears. Tobacco heart is
only produced by the use of tobacco"
Philadelphia Record
There are times" said the man
with the oratorical manner, when we
are overwhelmed with humiliation ut
the powerlessness of the human mind" :"
That's very true" was the reply, "I
am often made to feel So" ''Indeedp"
Eyes, have a four-year-old daughter
who asks questions. - Washington
Star.
-Mistress-T have just been read
ing, Bridget of girl who was burned
to death by kindling the fire with kero-
sene. / hope you never kindle your
fire with kerosene, Bridget" Bridget
mo, indade mum; uses paper and
a match to kindle wild; it is only to
hurry up the foire after it be kindled
that pours on the kerosene. boston
Transcript.
Mrs. Bingo-'T have one of the
checklist cooks you ever saw. She
actually wore my sealskin cloak yes
terday, out in the park Mrs. King
ley-O, my! Did you demonstrate with
her?' Mrs. Bingo-'I should say did,
and she replied that she was very sorry,
and that she wouldn't have done it If
she had known it was so warm. IN.
Y. Herald.