Birmingham age-herald., 1894-11-11
THE FUN OF STARVATION
Fielding Entraps @ Hungry Beggar
 and Tells Him Story.
One of Howdy's Early Experiences in New York Which Illustrates the Hardness of Tough Luck and the Certain
 Triumph of Genius.
lCoPYRIaHT, 1S04.l

lcoPYRIoHT f804l
 E. ."Your story touches me deeply" said I to the beggar. Ut is extremely un- fortunate that the remittances which you expect from wealthy relatives and business acquaintances scattered all over Europe and this country do not arrive. A person of less experience than mine might doubt your engaging narrative, but I, my friend, have been there myself"
 You don't look it, sir," he replied. Nobody would suppose that you'd ever gone hungry"
 Perhaps not" admitted, glancing down at my elegant clothing, which is so very fine that the tailor who made it has been unable to get it out of his thoughts and hns never ceased to write me letter about it on the first day of every month "Yet it is true, I once stood upon the thin edge of starvation in this vast, unsympathetic city, and the circumstances were quite similar to your own. You shall hear the story while you eat at my expense"
 I do not remember what he ordered, but while he was wrestling with it, I related my interesting experience.
 ''It was in 1884," I began. "I was then more than hundred years younger than I am now. I had just come from Boston, and the dignifed and scholarly confidence games which I knew were entirely unsuited to the hurrying life of the metropolis. In Boston it is nearly useless to attempt H. as4 c., 1 be too conservative. He will wish to investigate your story, and trace your descent back to Miles Standish, before he invites you to dinner, and while he is doing it you will have leisure to starve to death several times.
 "I wielded, even at that early age, 8 ready and trenchant pen, and had a command of humor which had been the despair of the other young men in the select Boston boarding house to which I was admitted on my college diploma and certificate of good moral character from the president. The knowledge that possessed these advantages led me to seek 8 broader, though more rugged field. brought with me large number of jokes which Iifelt sure had been forgotten by the editors of the comic papers here-and indeed, more than ten dollars worth of them appeared in print within week after my arrival. Ialso disposed of four-column article to one of the leading newspapers. It dealt with various phases of life in Boston.
 ''Thus you will see that was seem- ingly fortified against the assaults of fate for considerable period. But that was not all. I had friend in the city That is not an ordinary posses sion, I admit, for business is business over here. Nevertheless, ask you to believe me when I say that had friend in New York. He is not here now, and oh how miss himl He was the easiest man to borrow money from that ever I saw.
 "A friend of that sort" I continued, lis better than money in the bank, be- cause he inspires you with the beauti- ful sentiment of gratitude while the bank does not. would rather borrow twenty-five dollars than draw check for hundred. I did not strike my friend at once; was saving him up. Meanwhile spent my store of money somewhat freely. l had engaged cavernous apartment whose faded mag nificence agreeably suggested a family history and other things which I had learned to require. The landlady was doctors widow. I do not see how such thing is possible, but she said so. It is as much as can do to get along with one visit week from doctor, and I cannot understand how any woman can survive a doctor right in her own family. began as a lodger, eating most extravagantly in the neigh boring restaurants. It was necessary for me to buy expensive things to tempt my palate, for my appetite had failed. It is, perhaps, not generally known that Boston east wind sharpens the appe4 tite. It will sharpen an ax, if the im- plement is suspended at the proper angle. I missed my east wind, and had not then learned that the Manhattan cocktail had been invented to repair the deficiencies of the climate.
 "As walked to the office of the comic paper which had purchased my jokes, was thinking how bad my ap- petite had become. It had been almost impossible for me to eat any breakfast, and I had been obliged to spend all my remaining money-not a large sum, however-in the purchase of delica- cies."
 At this point my companion looked up from his task and sighed.
 ''The exhaustion of my financial re- sources gave me no uneasiness," con- tinued, "because that was the pay-dayI of the comic paper. That was how I happened to be going to the office.