The Washington times., 1894-04-23
Is L0ue One-SidedY

10 ioNc, Us COHiuOuiy uuuciotOOu, ocii-uc-
pendent? asks Junius Henri Browne in the
latest Bazaar, or does it require, for continu-
ance, some degree at least Of mutuality2 If
sentimentalists and romancers are to be
trusted, the former question should be
answered afflrmatiyely. They have so long
and SO persistently maintained the self-de-
pendence of love that any adverse intimation
is regarded as gross heresy. Love can be
genuine, unblemished only, they affirm,
when it springs from and sustains itself, when
it is spontaneous. motiveiess, permanent.
Producers of fiction. assuming to depict
life, have generally taken this ground and
held it firmly. Their heroes and heroines,
having once experienced the passion. be-
come incurable. and remain unswervingly
loyal to its object until death. In order to
keep up the interest Of the story the passion,
toward the close, is generally returned. But
If it had not been. the love would have gone
on undiminished and undiminishable and its
total unchangeableness is accounted the
crown OF emotional virtues
Certainly this is romance, sovereign and
superlative. But is it real, or does it ap-
proach reality?
The best way to settle the problem is to OBJ
serve human nature for ourselves, instead of
trying to get an idea OF it from books How
do the mass OF men and women, whether in
youth or maturity. bear themselves when they
are supposed to be smitten? Do the men be-
come enamored Of the women, or the women
of the men, and so continue, month after
month, year after year, without reciprocity or
any sign of it? Usually love generates love.
or what passes for such. Hymen lights his
torch at their enkinded hearts, and presides
at the subsequent ceremony.
But presuming that he falls in love, as the
phrase is. with her. or she with him. without
arousing any response? What then? Does
either of them nurse in secret the hopeless at
tachment and steel his or her breast against
any otherI Does either withdraw from So
ciety and resort to sorrowful solicitude as a
blighted being, because. forsooth, one mortal
out of the millions has net given what has
been sought? There are such morbid unbal-
anced creatures, many of them. in chapters
OF literature, but not in chapters OF actual
life. Here, when man is disappointed in
his affections, he naturally feels the smart,
perhaps the deep pain, OF his refusal. and
may be desolate for while. He rallies. how
ever. His egotism, stronger than his vanity,
comes to his aid and rescues him from repin-
ing. His affection is apt to change to indiffer-
ence or resentment, and in a few months he
is as good as new and ready for fresh at
tachment.
What a woman may suffer in like circum-
stances it Is hard 10 conjecture, for she, in
most cases. keeps her own counsel 1t Is
popularity believed that she never knows her
own feeling until sne has received regular
proposal; and not then even, before she has
taken ample time 20 examine it. II this be
true. she is secure against the annoyances.
griefs. or agonies-chooset the word you like
to which the other sex is exposed from unre-
Quilted passion. But. inasmuch as she is COM
monty accounted much mole susceptible.
more sentimental. than her brother. it is fair
to infer that she has her disappointments as
well as he.
Besides we are continually hearing Of
young women whose engagements have been
broken entering into new ones. Hence we
arc induced TO believe that the fact of having
loved once does not iebar them from loving
again. with an equal degree of feryor in both
cases. Indeed it is often whispered, though
we decline to credit it. that certain erratic
jamsels get a high reputation for personal
charm by the number of betrothals they have
assented to before settling down to matri-
mony. There are. In truth, both men and
women who acquire by varied experience
singular facility in erotic affairs. Their ca
pacity to fall in love is only measurable by |
their capacity to climb out of it. And they are |
reported to make atonement at last by ex-
enplary conjugal devotion.
On the whole. there can be no rational |
doubt that TO love. with or without return. |
by no means destroys the power OF loving |
anew when conditions favor. And If We can |
love more than once when we are beloved. 1t !
seems absurd to suppose that we must con- !
tinue to love the creature who has rejected |
our love peremptorily and unconditionaly |
There may be natures eccentric and abnormal |
that SO idolize their passion and its object |
as to regard either succession or successor as |
impossible Thus believing they may avoid |
hold themselves aloof from |
and so escape a repetition OF en- |
II they continue TO mincle with |
the world, however, and 10 be governed by |
sense, they are sure to discover that |
they are still susceptible and they can arouse /
in others the tumults of their own soul
1t Is ineontestably true that any healthful. |
deserving love must meet with reci-
procity. If it does not after rational prose-
cution it lanSuishes. decays, and becomes ex-
tinct. periorce. Reciprocity is to love what |
oxygen is TO flame, atmosphere TO existence.
One-sided love is unnatural. unhuman, IN
Pride, egotism, sef-esteem.
vanity itself. forbid it. No man is sufficiently
slavish. no woman sufficiently silly. to want
or to care for love that has been stubbornly
A certain amount of deliberate discourage
ment will wither the intensest passion that
has ever ragged. Sound persons. masculine
or feminine. do not humiliate themselves and
beseech what is theirs by right. if ct ALL and
VIVA. in the nature OF things cannot be long
denied. They may make mistake; they
always do if they ask that which is not freely
but they speedily correct it and
fall back TO the intrenchment of their self
esteem.
Their sentimentalism. blind passion. COM
plete infatUation. may commit any folly But
honest. human love cannot endure without
he active agency of two.