The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1894-01-25


awkwardness and stupidity and am
keenly sensitive to every little slight.
This shuts my mouth and makes me
doubly uninteresting, and naturally
people don't enjoy me; and then come
home and brood over it. and it really
seems as if Everybody were laughing
at me, and get as blue as indigo"
''Yes, you're right" said the doctor;
'it's an aggravated case of NOR bid self
centeredness: but If you take this
Golden Remedy every time you get to
thinking about yourself, and take large
doses of 1t when you are in company,
you'll be cured as sure as fate"
The young man looked incredulors
as he took his little gilt box and his
departure, and went his way.
"Oh, doctor!'' said the next, a poor
little dressmaker with so sad voice
that the black cat again retired to the
sofa. I'm so blue! When get through
my work and sit alone in my little
room evenings, feel so lonely I'd most
like to kill myself. ! haven't rela-
ton or friend in all the town, and it's
something dreadful to have no one to
welcome you home-nobody to tell
things to, nobody to say good night or
morning to you. Why, sometimes 1
kiss my own arm, / feel so desperately
lopelv' and she burst into tears.
Poor thing! poor. thingr' said the
doctor, in a cheerful voice, as if he
were saying: Zine day! fine day! Well
fix you up. Now, my dear, just follow
the directions in this little gilt box
whenever you begin to feel lonely; and
take specially large dose in the even
ing when you come home from work"
The young girl smiled feeble little
smile as she thanked him for the box
and left the room
''What in the world is the matter
with your inquired the doctor of his
next patient, an elegantly-attired
young man, who looked as sleek and
well-to-do and about as intellectual as
well-fed, well-curried horse.
'I'm bored to DEATH" drawled the
young fellow. 81 was so bored with
balls and parties and racing and cards
and shooting and theaters and every
thing else in that line, it was positively
a relief to wake up one morning and
find l had the blues; for it was a new
sensation. But I've had them so long
now, I'm bored with them, too, and
I've come here to get cured"
"Well," said the doctor, looking at
him through his magnifying-glass till
the young man actually blushed, you'll
find my remedy so hard to follow it
will be like drawing teeth; but can
assure you it will be new sensation
and if you stick to it il will cure even
you"
''I'll take it at any price!' said this
afflicted representative of boredom.
''No price," said the doctor, except
secrecy. The remedy does no good if
anyone else learns that you are trying
it for such purpose
The young man signed the bond, and
departed with more animated express
sion on his blase countenance, and
small gilt box in his pocket
The next arrival was an invalid in a
rolling chair. Her pale face beamed
with pleasure.
"Oh, no! So you're back! Remedy
don't work?" said the doctor, knowing
better.
II should think it did work." she an
swered, gravely ''You know how
long the days were as / lay in my bed
or sat in this chair, knowing / could
never take step, and brooding over
every ache and pain. Well, now the
days are not half long enough to do all
want The remedy has given me SO
much to do, and made life entirely diff
ferent to me. How can / thank you,
doctor?"
''Pshaw, child!" said the good man,
don't thank me. It's the remedy.
Keep it up; just keep it up"
Next came a very intellectual-looking
young woman, who had obtained de.
gree from university. She complained
that through all the studying to which
she devoted her life for the cultivation
of her mind, there ran an undertone
of melancholy which, whenever she
stopped work, eliminated in an attack
of the blues.
AS usual, the doctor dispatched her
with his universal prescription, and
also the other half dozen patients who
called that afternoon. One was man
made miserable by his own selfish
jealousy of any attention paid his wife.
Another got the blues because she was
SO discontented with her humdrum,
monotonous life, being kept at home
by all invalid sister when she wanted
TO study music in Germany.
So they came, rich and poor, young
and old, no class in society seeming to
be exempt from this miserable ailment,
and each departed thankful for the
Great Golden Remedy.
At last the clock struck six, and the
doctor closed his office door and settled
himself comfortably by the fire. The
black cat jumped up in his lap, and the
doctor took one of the mysterious lit
tie boxes from the table. AS he, in an
absent-minded way, removed the cover,
little paper fluttered out. Not pill
nor powder was to be seen, and the
Great Golden Remedy consisted only of
the little paper, on which were printed
in golden letters these words:
WHENEVER YOU ARE FEELING BLUE,
SOMETHING FOR SOME ONE ELSE GO DO.
How silly people are!" said the doc