The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1894-01-06

y'0'ci"ay you ouSht hot W rave lost
( your mead.
The first thing he did was to cut it off.
New York Herald.
WHY shE DEcIDEp
Maud-Which will you accept, Frank
Waite or Charley Pruyn;
May-Well, / prefer Charley, but /
think j shall accept Frnk.
Maud-For his money?
May-No; for his asking. -ITruth.
AN INFANT PHENOMENON.
Fond Mother-Big2 DO you think so?
Why, we think he is rather small or his
age. Talk? Oh, yes, he talks; but he
hasn't said anything remarkable-yet.
Visitors (together)-What a wonderful
child !-IJudge.
woMAN's WAY OF KEEPING PEACE.
Mrs. Muller ION a visit)--I trust, my
daughter, that you make your husband
happy?
The Daughter bride of one year.
Oh, yes. mammal Whenever we quarrel
! get him to give in and make up.-[Chi-
cage Record.
AN UNEXPECTED CONFESSION.
81 know | play a poor game of bill
lizards now" said the man with a cue in
his hand, ''but"-
"You used to play a great game" in
%terrupted a sarcastic bystander.
But" continued the man with the
cue, not noticing the interruption, ''but,
as was saying, | used to play a far poorer
game. "-LDetroit Journal.
OF MEDALS.
Brown has received fifteen medals
from the cycle club this week. Are they
tor good work2"
Bragg-Yes; they are for the people
he has run over and not killed. - Chicago
Inter Ocean.
l. 4 SLIGHT CONFUSION.
She tripped down the stairs and an
swered the posthan's knock, for she was
expecting letters far too precious to be
intrusted to foOtman or maid.
"What have we here?" she inquired
smilingly, as she took the missives;
''Billets doux?"
"Not exactly, miss" replied the new
wv u u bthShs II ndult y
Billy Dooley Washington Star.
IT TROUBLED HIM.
Wilis-You have a cold. Does it
trouble you much?
Wallace-Yes. Every blamed fool /
meet asks me about it. Music and
Drama.
CONDITIONAL.
The Old Gentleman-And you really
think you must have my daughters
hand, my boyg
He (d~evotedly)-I do, sir.
The Old Gentleman-Well, remember
it includes a sixteen-button glove. Take
her; be happy!-[Truth.
1T OFTEN WORKS THAT WAY.
Mrs. Wayback-Young Jim Junkett
don't seem to amount TO much since he
left college.
Mr.. Wayback-No; You see his college
education made him too smart to work
and not smart enough to get along with
out work Puck.
HIS LAST WORDS.
"What did you get, popperg' asked
the little fish, rs he saw his parent make
a dart at a nice fat worm.
Hooks" answered the parent. And
then he scared to the world above. In-
dlanapolis Journal.
THE ESSENTIAL FEATURE.
elm afraid this picture is spoiled; the
baby moved her head.
Mother-Oh, that doesn't matter; her
dress looks perfectly lovely. = Chicago
Inter Ocean.
ACTED on HIS PRINCIPLES.
Mr.. Goodman-When Willie Tuffun
called you a liar, did you remember that
a soft answer turneth away WRATH
Johnnie-Yes, sir.
Mr.. G~oodman-And what did you say
to himl
Johnnie-Nothing, sir. threw a rot
ten apple at him.-tTruth.
A DEGENERATE NEw E~NGLANDER.
"Beans, ma'am,n exclaimed the man
at the kitchen door, aghast. ''Beans.
Why, ma'am. I've come more'n a thou
sand miles 10 git away from emf
And the tourist from Boston went
sadly away and tried the next house
[Chicago Tribune.
A ~DIABoLICAL SCHEME.
Il want to go home. Not one gentle.
man has come near me the whole even
ng," said a neglected maiden at a Har-
lem sociable. Whcreupon her mother
whispered in her ear:
'Tll tell you what to do. There is a
gentleman's hat on that chair. Sit down
on it, and the owner of that hat will
have to hunt you up sooner or later. and
then you can scrspe an acquaintance
with him. "-lTexas Siftings.
NOT TO BLAME.
Tensnt-See here! That house you
rented me is infested with rats. Every
night we are walked up by the racket.
Agent-That's very strange. The last
tanapt nevey aaiH n wo,1 .ho,e cate