The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1894-10-06
HAD ENoUoH OF SUBSTITUTES.
Home-Made Bootbiacking and the EN-
barrassment IL Caused.


Home-Made Bootbiacking and the EN-
barrassment IL Caused.
Some gentlemen were discussing
current topics in the lobby OF tho st.
George the other evening. when
hopfen- weiss. the new prohibition
substitute for beer, was drawn into
the discussion, says the Baltimore
News. Some had tried the new
drink and pronounced IL equal In
point OF flavor to the genuine article.
and various opinions were ex-
changed relative to the right OF per.
sons to sell II In local option COM
munities II am not competent to
venture an opinion upon that phase
OF the question" said one OF the
party, ..but as q rule the man who
monkeys with substitutes usually
ZONES to grief In one way or an
other. At any rate. that Is my ex-
perience. and l will give you
\ case In point In the early
days OF Texas. whom few OF
the modern conveniences that we
now enjoy were obtainable, / was
living in the country, working on
farm. A man named Brown lived
near my fathers. Well, one day /
learned that couple OF young ladies
were visiting Mr.. Brown and family.
or course. now, would have TO 60
over and see the young ladies
had tolerable good suit OF clothes.
but my shoes wore considerably
worn, and never having come in
contact with blacking. were natur.
ally tough and unpleasant to the
sight So set about trying to hit
upon schemes whereby l could i'm
prove the complexion OF my shoes
Finally an idea struck me and |
smiled triumphantly as | congratu-
lated my self on my shrewdness.
would take some SCOT from the chin.
ney, use molasses as a vehicle. as
the druggists say. and polish up my
shoes with the compound. The SCOT
would certainly make tho shoes
black enough, and the molasses
would hold it on. Capital idea.
Therefore l got to work and soon
had my substitute ready and applied
to the shoes.
Tho effect was not very artis.
tic. but 1t made the shoes black. and
that was the end l sought to achieve:
A short walk soon brought me to
our neighbours. where ehe girls wero
visiting. and on my arrival l was
invited into the room which did SER
vice as a parlor. The young ladies
and had exchanged q few compli-
ments relative to tho weather when
l unconsciously shifted my foot on
the floor Then my heart sank within
me and cursed the day that my In.
ventive talent got the upper hand
OF me and l monkeyed with substi-
tutes, for when l moved my foot
swarm OF flies filed the room and
roared like bees. They had been at
ter the molasses on my shoes. and
the shifting OF my foot had put them
to flight. l felt that my face was
getting unbecomingly red and
my nerve began to fail me,
but I made heroic effort to renew
the conversation and stand my
ground. But it was useless. ! could
see that the girls were all but
dying to laugh, and re-enforcements
OF flies were constantly appearing
upon the scene. They roared and
buzzed and fought each other for
first place on my shoes Directly
heard Mrs Brown from the other
room say: Johnnie. / think hear
the bees swarming. Go out and see
about them. That was too much.
and gathering up my hat. bade the
young ladies hurried good day and
departed. euveloped in u halo OF
flies as big as u balloon AS | closed
the gate behind me heard Johnnie
shout: Nav, the bees amt swarm
in; they're aftor that young Teller
what just left here. He's been steal
in honey and they're after him
about it. Wush they'd sting the
trifin' rascal to death, l do No,
gentlemen. no substitutes for me,
please. Tho bare mention Of 1T
makes NV hair mill