Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1894-06-11
SWIPES.

really. lG'S befG Glllnan-UnaC' S WnaG III
reads on the books-and he's Messenger
IA if you want ter call him. Pm No. 10.
but yer amt heard about Swipes lat
est? Well, it's mighty good one on him,
and we fellers was most tickled to death.
1--WE was awful busy that day, and there
WANT no one in the Office but Swipes and
young Nelson when a woman came in
with kid and said she wanted it taken
JSar to the west side and told the number.
NELSON wanted her ter write it, but she
said she couldn't, 'causephe had her gloves
on, so he wrote the address, and Swipes
took the kid and started off.
when he got ter the house, man come
ter the door, and Swipes said, Here's the
kid
1.-THE man looked awfully 'stonished
and asked, What kid?'
"'Why, the kid the lady SENT said
Swipes.
"'Well, it don't belong here anyway
said the man. There aren't any children
here, and there haven't been fur years!'
and he tried to shut the door.
"Then the kid began to yawl, and Swipes
picked it up and marched back ter the Of
fee. A gang Of us spied him fore he got
there, and we did give it ter him.
HE dropped the kid inter chair and
told the boss how they wouldn't take the
child and didn't seem ter know nothin
about it.
"'Take it back to the woman, then,
said he, looking cross
"'Don't know where she lives answer
ed Swipes She had black veil on, so l
didn't see her face and she did not give
any name-and here's the kid, and what
shall do with itS
"'Take care Of it somehow. can't be
bothered, and he began ter write, leavin
Swipes with the baby ON his hands.
''Well, we tended her all that day, and
kept a-hopin the woman would come ter
take her back when she found 1t WANT
where she sent it, but she didn't come
"Swipes was a-goin ter give it baked
beans for dinner, but the woman at the
bakery said babies had ter have warm
milk so Swipes bought quart, and we
boiled it in pan over the fire. Then we
had ter get spoon ter feed it with
Med held the pan while Swipes did the
feedin, and morn half O. that milk got
spilled. He got it all over the kids dress,
and once, when he want a-noticin, the
kid gave jump, and hit the pan and spill
cd the milk all down Swipes leg and onto
the floor.
"When night came, the boss said we'd
better take the baby ter some 'sylum, but
we kinder greed between ourselves we'd
better keep it another day fore packin 1t
off, so Swipes toted it home with news
paper around it as folks wouldn't guess
what he'd got.
"Him and me bunk together, and we
didn't exactly know what we was a-goin
ter do with that baby, cause If we put it
in the bed 'twould roll out and get hurt,
and there want nothin at all that would
do for a cradle, such as Swipes said she
ought ter have.
$50 Swipes he went down stairs and
borrowed a great big washboiler Of Mrs.
Murphy, but he didn't tell her what he
wanted it for, cause he didn't want ter
git laughed at too much.
"Well, sir, we damned piller inter the
bottom of that boiler, and then we laid the
kid in, and she was snug as could be. And
we covered her up with couple O. towels
and piller case. The towels was pretty
dirty, but the baby was dirty, too, SO ii
didn't matter much.
"Then we took rope and strung II
through the handles and nailed the ends
into the walls, so the boiler swung fine as
the kid dropped off ter sleep.
1--WE slept good, but woke up by the
kids yellin. We gave it some more milk,
and then Swipes said he guessed we'd bet
ter wash its face. Didn't neither Of us
want ter, so we tossed coppers, and he had
ter.
"Swipcs took his handkerchief and kind
er made dab at the kids face, but the
dirt stuck on, SO finally he just had tel
scrub. OF course the kid yelled, and Swipes
made me knock over chairs so the folks
wouldn't hear Then its face WASN'T clean
either, for there was streaks all over it.
'Thcn we had ter 60 ter the Office, and
we lugged the kid there and made the
other fellers tend it while Swipes went Oh
an GRAND.
Bum by he come rushin in and whis
pered ter me ter come on, and then he took
the kid, and we went of. He wouldn't
say nothin about what he was a-goin tel
do with 1t, but pretty soon no turned into
house.
AucIC was plCCC VI SIupo uiCo WI Ult
doorknob, and as we stood there an under
taker drove up.
''Pretty soon pale lady came, al
dressed in black, and Swipes he didn't say
nothin, but just put the baby in her arms
''Then the woman began ter cry, and
she Rugged the baby and kissed it, and
Swipes whispered ter me how her OWL
baby had died the day before.
''Then Swipes told the lady how the kit
had been left at the office, and the woman
hadn't come for 1t or anything, and III
guessed she must be dead, cause one WON
an did get killed by the cars that day.
''Did they send the baby back? Well
NO. They think heaps Of 1t, and Swipes
and me goes ter see it sometimes, and
guess 1t knows U.S.
6 'Twas funny business all round, but
do you know I think twas awful smart
Of Swipes the way he got rid Of the kid.
.4 ''SWipes thinks so too. Harriet Car