The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1894-09-19
PITH AND POINT.

Error beareth her own scourge.-
Puck. 81
Come West and blow up with the
country.-Chicago Dispatch.
The lawyer who worked like horse
was engaged in drawinga conveyance.
Boston Bulletin.
Even the most successful attempt to.
bear the wheat market must go against
the grain. Buffalo Courier.
"Truly," said Witticus, when he saw
OK tail soup and tongue on the free
lunch counter, 'extremes meat. =
Life.
When farmer comes to town with
q young colt following an old mare, he|
is proud Of it as woman is OF baby.
-Atchison Globe.
George Gould says that yachts areI
like women. He doesn't mean Ameri-
can women, for they can't be beat
Philadelphis Times.
Van Quille-"Do you know, I hayd
perfect passion for poetry" Miss
Beacon-"Unreauitted, isn't tip
Kate Fields Washington.
Cholly-"They say the crops are
needing rain awfully." Fweddy-
"Why don't they spwinkle them with
the hose l"-Chicago Tribune.
Tramp-"Madam, I was not always
thus" Madsm-"No. It was your
other arm you had in sling this
morning."-Pearson's Weekly.
Tommy's Father (sternly)--"What
were you fighting that bad boy for,
Tommy" Tommv--"To keep from
oittin' licked. Detroit Free Press.
Now doth the slant-eyed heathen rage,
The war his feelings hurts,
And hence he mangles IN his wrath
The white mans Sunday shirts. ~
Indianapolis Journal.
ssManma is thinking of buying
dog" REALLY! What kind?" "Oh.
she's not particular as long as il
matches the carpets. Boston Bud
get.
Jilson says that since the introduc7
tion of shoemaking machinery the old
time disciples of st. Crispin have had
to come down peg or two-Buhald
Courier. #F
Flirps-s'So Smallpay has left tho
Wayup House, eh? Landlord find i
necessary to raise the price OF boardr
Flopps-"No; Smallpsy did."-Buf1
falo Courier.
Mr.. Oldhi-"Miss Sweetly, are you
an admirer of old brass?" Miss Sweet
ly-"Wen, er-I have only thought
of you as a valued friend. "-Chicagd
Inter-Ocean.
She-sYou are awfully young to bd
called Colonel" He-"Well, 1 have
been in eighteen engagements, and
the girl and fought in every one
New York News.
First Fair Bather-"They say there
q man eating shark close to the shore.
Second Fair Bather-"Wel, let hin
alone; he'll soon starve to death here.
New York Press.
"What beautiful bouquet! Is i
intended for me or for my sister?'
Orderly--"The Lieutenant told me I'd =
hand it to the prettier of the two."-
Fliegende Blaetter.
Artist with enthusiasm)--"Thd
lines of beauty are always curves.
Little Girl (amazed) -"T guess you
never saw o man on q bicycle, did
you?"--Good News.
Edith-"Only think Charley calle
me dream! Wasn't that nice? Won
der what put that idea into his head?
Maud -"Dreams are so ridiculous
you know. Boston Transcript.
Enfant Terrible-Emma (six year
old, in presence of her three grow
sisters)- )-"Mr. Assessor, why do yo1
call every day? Do you intend t
marry one of us?"-Fliegende Blaet
ter.
When q mans wife comes in and
sees him, razor in hand and his fac
all lather, and asks him, care yo1
shaving?" it is a provoking thing fol
him to answer, "tio, I'm blacking tn
stove. "-Siftiuss.
"Well, Mary, what did you thin
of the pictures at the academy?" "Oh
mum, there was a picture there calle'
Two Dogs after Landseer,' but
looked at it for nearly half an hou
and I couldn't see no Landseer. y
Spare Moments.
'I presume you funny men aim
deal with questions of the hour, d,
you not?" "Oh, yes, I calculate tha
there have been written no less thai
FIVE thousand jokes about the young
man who does not know when it
time for him to go home. "--1ndia1
apolis Journal