Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-05-31
Let Us All Laugh.

OAOuuo dAO uccCy.--LOWcIl SOuIlCt.
THE man who loses is never ac-
cused of not playing fair.-Siftings.
THE weigh Of the world is about
fourteen ounces to the pound. Iowa
Gazette.
IT is very natural for men to fly in
passion when anything makes them
sore -Siftings.
ANDREws-What is the extreme
penalty for bigamy? Briggs-Two
mothers-in-law. -Tid-Bit
II AM on the trail again." said the
old scout when he trod on the wom-
ans dress. Florida Times.
A FIREMAN who undertook to fight
a fire the other night was severely
licked by the flames. Grip.
ALMOST any man is inclined to per-
NIT his customers to keep their own
opinions. Galveston News.
A MAN with a wheel in his head
does not necessarily suffer from that
tired feeling. West Union Gazette.
CHANGE for the BETTER" said the
cashier Of the pool-room as he paid
out the cash to the winner.
ingS.
CLosELEIGH-"It gives me great
pleasure to offer you this cigar.
Jones-"Great Scott! is it that bad?"
Life.
A NEW color is known as invisible
blue. 1t will probably be used in the
policemen's new uniforms.-Phila-
delphia Record.
BENEDICT-"Why won't she marry
you? Is there another man in the
case? Singleton-"Yes; her father. !"
boston Traveller.
WAGeE Why don't you get BIZ
cycle, Pat? Pat-Ricycle @nothin';
whin | want to walk | prefer to do it
stannin' up!-Grip.
THE room for improvement" which
you hear persons speaking Of is GER
-Yonkers Statesman.
THE RECToR-"You don't mean to
say you went to dog show on Sun
day." Penelope-"Y es; but / looked
at the St. Demands only. Judge.
CoURT-What do you mean by say
ing you were once in the higher walks
Of life? Tramp wuz in de noun
tains wild Coxey. Detroit Tribune.
"TnE Telescopes Mystery" was the
subject of Il lecture delivered the
other night in Chicago. Anybody
could see through it.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
DRIGGs-"Can a man serve two
masters?" Henpeck-"Well, that de-
ponds. He may have a wife and a
grown daughter, you know. The
Waterbury.
"THERE was great Considerations
on the stage Of the Oriental last
evening"" wrote the critic, when All
Sing, the leading actor, lost his cue. !"
boston Courier.
THE establishment of coffee
clearing house is projected by the
Coffee Exchange of New York. The
white of an egg is said to be effect
i've -Philadelphia Ledger.
"WHAT sort of collection have
you, Will?" asked the visitor. "Per-
haps / can help YOU" well, sir,
said viii, I'm collecting American
coins "-Harper's Young People.
SERvANT-"Yis, sorr, Mrs Jones is
in. What's yer name, sorr?" Visit
or-"Prof. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. ;"
Servant-"Och! Sure ye'd better go
roight in and take it wild ye."-
Judge.
A LITTLE girls father had round
bald spot. kissing him at bedtime
not long ago, she said: "Stoop down,
popsy dear, / want to kiss the place
where the lining shows. "-Pearson's
Weekly.
MoTHER-"Mabel, stop pounding
YOUR little brother! What do you
mean?" Mabel-"Well, l told him
we'd better play we was only engaged.
but he wanted to play we was mar
ried. Frank Leslie's.
"TAIN'T no disgrace to be sent to
the Island" said Raggles. Look at
Napoleon Bonyparte. He was sent
up to the Island for years, an yet
nobody thinks the less of him for
that. "-Harper's Bazaar
SHE pushed back the heavy bang
from his forehead and said: Oh,
Tommy, will it tell on your diplo-
ma that you won the place of val
edictorian by your rushes and tao
kles?" lWashington Star.
JOHNNY, on his first visit to the
country. saw little mule colt trot-
ting after it's dam. "How do you
like Bessie's colt:" asked Uncle
George. aWhy, is it her colt9" said
Johnny, much surprised. I thought
III was an orphan. Kate Fields
WASHINGTON