Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1894-06-17

dSenuy write 10 ask FOR pbotorranhs
~. tne postmaster-general They sav
ST. u,sS want them 10 hang up along
5ncoi, Porutn's Of Washington and
...inSoln. An applicant for a nos.,,,s .-
,ership recently sent a photos.rs,.h z,
nus Wife, himself ara ten chiliran IL
,Stt,a.ihea that he thought his con-
ran-,,..,,.n 10 the population deserved
reSognition from the governmeut a
r n,, crank wrotr and inciosed a
olivuiNi, with a picture OF an ark on
wneeis. lie said: Il have built a tab
no horse TO draw It. want Inc nos,-
inaster-general to send me enough
money 70 buy one" requests are COM
monty addressed to cabinet officers fnr
vans or gifts OF money to iift mort.
sases from farms or for other worthy
The Postomce bothered.
MT Blssell got letter the other day
from a crank. who said that he haa
written to the secretary OF the inte-
rior on the same subject and had re-
eeived no reply. The communication
was about a patent. The writer said:
" should discover that Hoke Smith
has thrown my letter into the waste
paper basket I would consider him
very unenterprislng man. In that
event Will make It my particular
business to get square on him some
uay. Another person sends com
plant from Hot Springs. Ark. He says
mar ne mas written to Mr.. Cleveland,
bunalo Bill and other great men on
certain subject, but has had no re-
ply. He adds; IAN these thinga look
very suspicious and dark for our post
master, don't like the looks OF our
postm5tster." or course. his notion Ia
at the local postofiice
One mand sends thanks for his ap-
polntment as postmaster, and refers
to Mr.. Cleveland as his second God"
Persons afflicted with the stamp collect
Ing mania are constantly writing to
the postmaster-general for complete
sets or all the United States stamps
ever issued Sometimes. however, they
want only certain rare ones. OF
course. Mr.. Blssell has no stock OF
out-of-date stamps 10 draw ON. Nearly
all OF them could be reproduced from
the original dies in the possession of
the department. but the latter Is not
engaged In that sort OF business.
There is a stout and shaggy man,
with somewhat the aspect OF an an
archist, who bothers the pestoHioe de-
partment good deal with an imagln-
airy claim. He represents himself as
attorney for n man who in the sixties
earned vast sum OF money by carry
ing mails. The money was never paid.
Several reports have been made on
this matter but It is wholly a delu-
sion Claims are brought up In the
department again and again with each
succeeding administration. They are
most numerous in the interior and
treasury.
Some OF the cranks have poetic
turn, One OF them wrote to Secretary
Smith the other day saying: Being
disengaged, It occurs to me to pen a
brief essay for thee and thy fair lady.
Thou knowest there are thoughts that
burn the brain and scar the soul far
more than blazing coal" And 30 on
for dozen pages OF closely written
manuscript An old soldier asks to
be provided with flrst-class. we'll
improved and furnished small fruit and
truck farm. He offers TO pay for II
with the net income OF the property
In ten years, provided 1t is near u
good market"
Chopping Wood with n Razor.
A lunatic in Nebraska inquiries:
what is the best form of law to
regulate the American industry of
chopping wood with razor?" 1t Is
milder crank who, referring to a
patent, lncloses to the secretary OF
the interior a chronological chart OF
himself. TO show what an inventive
genius he Is. Another man desires TO
know II there is any law by which
an honorably discharged soldier can
withdraw his discharge and sell II for
cash. one correspondent wants 20
know where he can procure divin-
ing rod for use In finding money buried
In Texas during the Mexican war. An
other In Pennsylvania, asks TO know
about n reward which the government
is supposed to have offered for the
discovery OF a tin mine in his county.
Recently q man who wanted place
in n land office out West addressed the
secretary Of the interior. He said
he supposed the best way was to be
friendly and not too sim I'm addressing
the secretary. Following out this idea.
he began with Dear Hoke," and used
the utmost freedom OF style through
out his letter No answer was re-
turned. Three weeks later a tcle-
gram from him was received by the
secretary. II read, simply: "IIoke, /
start for Washington overland, on one
horse. Hold office until arrive He
has not arrived yet, and nothing fur
ther has been heard from him. In
Vulnerable people have written to
Hoke Smith, claiming klnship with
him on the strength OF similarity OF
last names.
There are people all over the country
who imagine that It is part OF the
duty OF the attorney-Eeneral OF the
United States TO give free legal ad-
Vice to anybody that asks for IL. For
EXAMPLE. a man win write, saying;
'1f / owe two weeks board and have
si2 due me fol. carpenter work. can
the boarding house Keeper attach my
wages?' To all such communications
reply Is made by n circular. which
states that the attornoy-general Is not
Obliged by law to furnish informa-
tion to anybody except the presi-
dent ard officers OF the cabinet Not
even senator. by the way, could
demand information from him. though
he would probably grant II as a mat
ter OF courtesy
Appenls are often addressed TO the
president for pardons In cases whore
applications have been made In vain
10 the governors OF states. OF course,
Mr.. Cleveland has no Jurisdiction over
criminals convicted under state laws,
One such appeal reached the White
House the other day. II was written
IN behalf Of n colored man who Ian
f,nlshed in jail. owing to an ill-restraln-
"a appetite for other peoples chick
ems The letter quoted a poem about
a little bird pining for freedom In a
| cage. X ended by saying: viii you
MOI touch the spring that opens the
49, ...a - So. ht.ol HfrI fts -