Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1894-07-27
HERE N THERE.

De6e rlOOers all tote my way, l rs
Loog, of you killed EN- yer I'd be, Z
Ids no tam zense to hat 'em here.
Dose nasty solchers, vat you gay.
Shall geep de beace. 70 if you please,
Gall. Grofer, gall dose droobs away.
-. P. A.d
To b. v. Debs, Cook County Jail, Chi
cage, ILL.,: The sheriff will see that you
stand'pa Buy a gun.
The principal excuse which is now set
forth by MI. Eugene Stand-Pat Debe
is that he didn't know it was loaded.
I have noticed that the man who cries
the loudest for harmony, is never salts.
fed unless it is of his own, particular
kind.
Lottie Collins sisters husband has Sc.
cured a divorce. I suppose, in the nat
ural course of events, that Lottie has
registered a kick.
I am inclined to think that the most
effective piece of circumstantial evidence
against Debs is that he has engaged
Erwin to defend him.
With a wienerwurst in one hand and a
large sized.piece of gaspipe in:the other,
it must be admitted that Governor John
P. Altgeld is the very incarnation OF
peace and patriotism.
notice that a book agent has been
drowned at Cooperstown, New York.
The people of the vicinity have taken
the most summary of precautions
against typhoid fever.
I hope sincerely that President Cleve-
land will not rush off and change the
date of independence day, just be-
cause the Hawaiian republic will cele-
brate its republicanism on July 4th.
It has been discovered that Deb 8 has
dipsomania. I learn that this is merely
a polite %perversion of that trite express
sion, D. T. 1t is also written jim-jams,
if the writer desires to be particularly
forcible.
No, gentle reader, the Breckenridge
who will go to Russia, is not the Hon.
W. G. P. Breckenridge of Kentucky. He
is on the road to a much warmer place
than Russia, and his appointment is a
matter of long standing.
l see an eastern man has a fortune in
what he designates a 'car mover" From
recent developments, it strikes me that
Uncle Sans regulars are pretty fair car
movers, and I do not believe this device
has ever been patented. =
[ see q Yankton paper states the death
OF a Miss Cranky, and says she was
"shot dead by mistake" 1t is always
very consoling to the victim Of an acoi-
dental shooting affair, especially if it re-
suits fatally, to know that it was a all
mistake.
1t strikes me as rather an oddly in
judicial Jurisprudence to fine a man 81
and costs for attempting to drown him
self, but it was done down at Fargo. I
fear the boasted liberties of the Ameri-
can people are being abridged to an
alarming degree.
It is an i'll wind-you know the rest.
I see that 5000 Bohemians, Poles, Hun
garians, Slavs and others have left Cleve-
land, O., for their native countries. May
they have a safe passage, and a cordial
welcome-so cordial that they shall con-
clude to remain at home.
After a mature and deliberate consid-
Grafton of all the circumstances sur
rounding the death of an unknown man
whose head had been caved in as though
by a crowbar, the half of whose face had
been shot away, and whose whole anat-
omy looked as though it passed through
a separator, an East Chicago %ooroner's
jury arrived at the conclusion that he
had "met his death by violence"
And how sad is the fate of democracy,
how abrupt is the fall of the mighty,
when, between it's leaders, there has de-
veloped a question of veracity, as to one
Of the subjects most vital to American
interests! I would suggest that the
Hon. John Boyd Thacher be called in to
adjudge the blame. Like democracy,
the Hon. John Boyd never, in the course
Of all his awards and adjudications,
failed to make a mistake.
I am inclined to think Grand Master
Windpusher Sovereign will have to pur.
chase q new halo. His old one has lost
it's brilliancy, and is shrunken SO that il
fits him poorly. The men who compose
the organization of which Mr.. Sovereign
is leader, should take up a collection
and purchase a large, duplex, India rub.
Der gag, to be adjusted simult an%eously
with the halo. It would do more good
to the Of labor than anything othel
than the complete paralysis Of Mr.. Sow
ereiQn's vocal chords.