The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1894-07-07
4oetrg.
ST. PETER AT THE GATE.

st. Peter stood guard at the Golden Gate
with solemn mien and air sedate.
When up 10 the top of the golden stair
man and woman ascending there,
Applied for admission. They came and stood
Before ST. Peter, so great and good,
In hopes the City Of Peace to win
And asked St. Peter to let them in.
The woman was tall, and lank. and thin.
With scraggy beardlet upon her chin.
The man was short, and thick, and stout,
His stomach was built so 1t rounded out;
His face was pleasant and all the while
He wore kindly and genial smile.
The choirs in a distance the echoes woke,
And the man kept still while the woman spoke:
"oh thou who guardest the gate" said She
I'VE two come hither, beseeching thee.
To let us enter the Heavenly land,
And play our harps with the angel band.
OF me st. Peter there is no doubt
There's nothing from Heaven to bar me out
I've been to meetings three times a week.
And almost Away I'd rise and speak.
rye told the sinners about the day
When they'd repent their evil way;
have told my neighbors, 1 have told them sill
Bout Adam and Eve and the Primal fall
I've shown them what they'd have to do
Ifthey'd pass in with the chosen few;
I've marked their path of duty clear
I've talked and talked to 'em loud and long,
For my lungs are good and my voice is strong.
So good St Peter you will clearly see
The gate of Heaven is open to me;
But my old man. regret TO say,
Hasn't walked in exactly the narrow way
He smokes and he swears and grave faults he's got,
And don't know whether he'll pass or not.
He never would pray with an earnest vim,
or go to revival or join in hymn;
So had to leave him in sorrow there
While /, with the chosen. united in prayer.
He ate what the pantry chose to afford,
While in my purity, sang to the lord;
And il cucumbers were all he got,
It's a chance IL he merited them or not.
But oh st. Peter, love him So
To the pleasures of Heaven please let him go!
I've done enough-a saint I've been
Won't that atone? Can't you let him in?
By my grim Gospel know It's so
That the unrepentant must fry below.
But isn't there some way you can see
That he may enter who is dear to me?
It's a narrow Gospel by which pray.
But the chosen expect to find some way
OF coaxing. or fooling. or bribing you,
So that their relations can amble through.
And say st. Peter it seems TO me
This gate isn't kept as it ought to be;
You ought to stand by that opening there,
And never sit down in that easy chair.
And say, st. Peter my sight is dimmed.
But don't like the way your whskers are trimmed;
They're cut too wide and outward toss,
They'd look better narrower, cut straight across.
Well, we must be going our crowns to win.
So open, St. Peter, and wen pass in!'
And then he arose in his stature tall
And pressed button upon the wall,
And said to the imp who answered the bell
Escort this lady around TO h"
The man stood still as piece of stone
stood sadly, gloomlly there alone,
A lifelong, settled idea he had
That his wife was good and he was bad,
He thought If the woman went down below
That he would certainly have to go
That IL she went to the regions dim
There wasn't ghost of a show for him.
Slowly he turned. by habit bent:
TO follow wherever the woman went.
ST Peter, standing on duty there,
Observed that the top of his head was bare.
He called the gentleman back, and said:
Friend, how long have you been wed?'
Thirty years" with weary sigh,
And then he thoughtfully added why ?"
ST Peter was silent With head bent down
He raised his head and scratched his CROWN
Then. seeming different thought to take,
Slowly half to himself he spake:
Thirty years with that woman there?
No wonder the man hasn't any hair.
Swearing is wicked, Smokes not good
He smoked and swore-I should think he would.
Thirty years with that tongue so sharp?
Ho. Angel Gabriel Give him harp!
A jeweled harp with golden string.
Good sir pass in where the angels sing!
Gabriel, give him a seat alone
One with cushions-up near the throne.
Call up some angels to sing their best,
Let him enjoy the music and rest.
See that on finest ambrosa he feeds,
He's had about all the hell he needs.
1t isn't just hardly the thing to do
To roast him on earth and in the future too"
They gave him harp with golden strings,
glittering robe with pair of wings.
And he said. as he entered the Realm fDay,
WELL this beats cueumbers. anyway"
And so the Scriptures had come to pass:
THE last shall be first and the first shall be last