Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-07-13
MY SUICIDE.
Yes, 1 have wished to die.

held my life in her little hand, and am not now even sure of her name. Young men. this may astonish you. but you will learn better in time
 I was young then-quite young, and I no sooner learned of my misfortune than I determined to end my life. My first intention was to shoot myself oE her stairway, but bethought me of the crowds that would see me there and of how Henriette-was not that her name: would ridicule me, so my amour pro- pre- came to my rescue.
 Nc" said to myself, ''there must be no excitement, no noise. The wound ed bird conceals himself behind tuft of grass. Thus I wish to die-in some corner-isolated, lost, forgotten"
 In this eleglac frame of mind I took the 5:30 train for Melun. It deposited me at dusk, about 100 steps from the Golden Lion-a we'll kept hotel, with airy rooms, good beds and an excellent table.
 What does monsieur wlsh?" asked little waitress, whom have since found to be very pretty.
 ''Nothing."
 was not hungry. went to bed. My sleep was fitful. and every instant I thought 1 saw Victorine-I believe her name was Nictorine-pass by on the arm of my rival
 Then 1 struck out with my fist against the wall, the iron bedstead or the mar ble top tale.
 Twas much bruised next morning, but what mattCred it, since I was so soon to die?
 went in quest of rope. had be ieved formerly that, when one wished to hang oneself, nothing could be easier than to find n rope. A sad mistake In my search l travCrscd the entire hotel to no purpose. The little waitress the one whom l have since found is SO prctty-demanded of me:
 But what does monsieur wish to do with n ropc:'
 At last. with length of hemp in my pocket. left the hotel and made my way to q spot in the woods where had often been before. found here, behind an incxtricahlr tanglc of foliage. the same inviting retreat where had once fingered tn dream. There could certain ly exist no n0r" appropriate spot for the dCvl now contemplated.
 While walking along I had thought of E"rtEc - possibly her name was Brrth,-aud I cured her with all my soul. Then l l"nkvd at my rul'c. l meas urrd it. ItcStctl its strength It was not the sort of Il rope l wished. It appeared to bc too short and ton large around. was veXed You can scarcely imagine how an annoyance of this sort may in fluCnce ones ideas.
 And here was another vcxation. Upon reaching the chosen spot was disagrcca. bly surprised to find it occupied by an. other. X person. with his back turned to me, was engaged in fastening n ropC to branch above his hcad-thc very branch which I had selected for my own.
 What arc you doing therc?'' de mandcd of him.
 He faced me suddenly.
 What concern of yours is it?'' h, asked.
 You think perhaps that do not di vine your intention, cried.
 And if wish to kill myself that i. altogether my affair"
 kill yourself:'' looked at him. He seemed to be aI amiable young fellow. with an opcr 1 countenancc, sympathetic eyes and al interesting pallor.
 ''So you wish to kill yourself" Ant suspccting him to be the victim of ar unhappy love affair, I added. "Abou some worthless woman?"
 Sir" Inc cried.
 Poor idiot!' thought. Lovers ar, l an a1i l,a l ls hnr-
 The stranger was silent.
 Will you permit me to give you bit of advice:" inquired. Leave you rope where it is''-I had noticed tha it was better than mine-''go home You will thank me for this afte awhile.
 He shook his head.
 II want to die.
 Don't prepare any poignant regret for the morrow,'' I continued, witt sweet insistcncc. II repeat what hav said. After you arc buried you will bc moan your procipitancy, and then it wil be too late"
 ''You say this because you do no know what has happened to me"
 But suspect
 'No you cannot have even Q suspi cion. Oh, sir, n woman whom adored for whom'-
 And he told me his story. Incredibl coincidencel It was absolutely my OWL This comparison set me thinking. "You silence shows me your approval, sai Charles. I had just learned his name { be Charles } Not at all, cried. did not wis | en anDaar lil-a n xvaathaf,.o.E ssFThnr is nothing in your history which just fies you in having recourse to the end C a rope" , Charles had begun to interest me , ''Listen, my friend, you are out of you Q reason. Why should you wish to | s treated more kindly than other me
 whose sweethearts play them false e I cry d'ry:'' , But they are not as grossly deceiv,
 as have been" r II beg your pardon. I 'No. no" , -"oh, yes" n .sNo.'
 ''I know whereof I speak. And no O you arc free to make another choice much better one. There are plenty v them" Q Better than she? That is not pas q ble."
 s "Indeed"
 "Her equal docs not exist" ! GREAT lCsA'|R!' ! ]! <: 5 Z { } !: ! !' t- S Had to s Grin and Bear It. H. H had pain. You grin Q "a N sh tt at once by using PARRY DAVIS