The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1894-01-11

a Prayer to the stuffed Prophet.
The arayer rccs ttls published in the
Gumison teoloD Tribune is going the
rounds OF he press and in response to a
request from a number OF our patrons
we reproduce it. A convention was held
in the Colorado town above named aud
Mayor Edward Cooke. of Irwin. in that
state, arose during the convention and
offered up this PRAYER, while all the dele
gates reyer>ntly bowed their heads. His
voice was filled with emotion and the
reporter found 1T difficult to get every
word, but here 1t is:
"0h mighty and all powerful Cleve-
land, who art in Washington when not
fishing; thou who art the father of Ruth
and Ruth's sister, and the godfather Of
the democratic party tits father would
not own it If he were here ], we hail thy
name as the great political prophet OF
the century. We bow down before thee
in humble political Obedience. When
thou sayest 90, we go; when thou sayset
come. we come. We have No desire but
/ to serve thee. II thou sayest black is
white we will swear to it aud lick the
everlastin' stuffin' out of the man who
| disputes it. When thou takest snuff we
will sneeze; when thou sayest free silver
we will echo thy words. when thou say
est gold then gold it is. We are demo-
Gratis after the improved, modern style.
Our business is to vote the ticket and
vote it straight. What is it TO us
whether we have free silver or not? Ne
are but dogs that eat OF the crumbs that
iall from the masters tables. When the
crumbs fall we wag our tails; when they,
tall fast we wag faster; when they don't
fall we wait until they do. This is
democracy. This is the kind OF democracy
that elected thee, eur great and mighty
Cleveland. Oh, most adored master, we
love thee for what thou hast done for US.
We love thee ecause thou art Cleveland
We humbly surrender ourselves to thee.
. Do with us as thou wilt. Though wheat
/ Is but 40 cents bushel we love thee;
though cotton is low we love thee;
though business is dull we love thee;
though thousands, millions, are out of
employment we love thee; though our
children are clothed liz rags we love
thee; though our wife, the dear compau-3
ion OF our bosom, is scantilv dressed aud
looks SD shabby she can't go to church
we love thee; though we are sinking
deeper IN debt and poverty is knocking
at the door, and hunger is staring us in
the face, we love thee still. This shows
our great love for thee. Our wives and
children are willing to sacrifice, even as
the Hindoo mother sacrifices her off
spring by throwingit under the crushing
wheels OF the ~juggernaut. Oh, mighty
CleYeland, words cannot express our
love for thee. We love our party, too.
What care we for-the many promises it
has made. We know 1T promised free
silver, and we know'it won't give it to
us. but we " i'll stick to the party. We
know that we said lift did not do the
things it promised to do we wo aid leave
it, but we lied when we said it. We
thought then we had some manhood
about us. but we amt. Thou, oh mighty
Cleveland hast all the manhood and
independence in the party. We are tools,
liars, lickspittles, mud sills. We haye no
business to want aytlIing or saw any
thing. Last year we favored free silver
and now we have to oppose it; we fav-
ored it then because we thought it was
right; we oppose it now, most adored
master, because thou tellesL us to. Amt
we honey of the first water? Did ever
dog serve his master more faithfully?
Did eveI dog get less forit? Oh, mighty
master, we are ever ready to serve thee
and thy party. All the pay we ask is To
be patted on the back by local politi-
clan and called a good democrat. We
amt got any sense; we don't want any,
cnly enough to vote the ticket. What
a joyful thought; we don't have to think.
Our cork is all mapped out before MS.
All that is expected is to do what we
are told to do. We thank thee, oh
Cleveland, that we are democrats; we
thank thee for the panic; we thank thee
for the hungry idle men and women in
the land; we thank thee tor the low
prices; we thank thee for the banks that
have busted and the thousands of bust
ness failures since thou hast come into
power; we thank thee for the hard times;
we thank thee for the rags that our
child en- wear; we thank thee for the
clothes that our wife needs, but can't
get; we thank thee for what thou hast
done for the banker and what thou hast
done for the people, we thank thee tor
all these things because it is our duty to
do so. 1t may be against the grain, but
we will take our medicine. We will work
our wives to death, starve our children.
sacrifice our home, cruelty liberty and
kill prosperity, hut will never go back
on our dear old party or thee, our most
adored Cleveland. Thou art of more
account than all OF us put together.
Thou knowest more than the south or
west. Say we are tools, spit in Our
faces, wipe your feet on US, we love thee
all the more. And now our great politi-
cal father, we leave ourselves in thy care
Do with US as thou wilt. Kick silver
into the middle of the next century; give,
mere privileges to the national banks;
foster trusts; bride congressman with
patrona e; fish whene yer thou wilt, and
hunt snipe whenever thou carest to and
we will endorse everything thou doest.
carry Cleveland torches and forevermore
sing thy praise. Amen.