Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1894-04-05
HUNTING A BURGLAR.
THE EXCITING EXPERIENCE OF A
GRAND RAPIDS MAN.

to Finish itn heSoiSer and Dark Lau-
tern the Householder Took to the War.
NATHAN Unreasonable Wife.
1T is dreadful to be suddenly awak-
ened at night by large, coarse burglar
without any innate refinement, said the
Union street resident, land when my
wife awoke me Thursday night, and in
Dne of those whispers women invariably
use after the lights are out. and which
always cause mans backbone to era wi
up behind his ears. told me she was sure
there was burglar in the house, r.
member requesting her TO go down and
refer him to the Charity Organization
society, because was sure to get the
grip if l left my warm bed and went
parading around the house without stop
ping to put on anything but defiant
expression"
Did she go?''
"She did not, although explained to
her that if she would merely step down
stairs and speak to the burglar in a con-
ciliatory way he would probably go
away quietly, and there would be no
trouble. | told her that if should sud-
denly come face to face in my own house
with crude, uncouth robber who had
not been invited there, and who had no
letters of introduction, my fiery temper
would probably get the better of me.
and there would be an awfnl hand to
hand struggle, which would like enough
inspire in me such a fendish longing
for warm. red blood that would thrash
around for weeks afterward killing re-
spectacle people on sight. | have al
ways striven for higher mission in
life than to go around shooting large,
ragged holes through the vitals of my
fellow men, and for that reason l ex-
planned to my wife how even burglar
might have loved ones dependent upon
him for support, and that life was prob
ably just as dear to him as it is to a
member of congress.
But you can t talk any sense into
woman's head after she has become
imbued with the idea that there are
burglars in the house, and at length,
rather than have any trouble over the
matter, arose, and grasping a revolver
and lighting my boys dark lantern
started out to find that burglar and ex-
plain to him that he must have been mis-
led by the number ON the door and got
into the wrong house. l did not go
down on gallop, because preferred
to give the housebreaker a chance to
realize his danger and escape with his
life while there was yet time. 1t seemed
harsh and unfeeling to coldIy shoot a
man to death when l did not even know
what ward he voted in, and SO l slam
med things around and created consld-
erable disturbance on the way down
stairs.
II looked under the door mat and
turned my searchIight on the hatrack
without finding burglar and was just
on the point of returning up stairs to
consult with my wife as to whether she
cared to have the parlor carpet mussed
up with his blood if l should find him
when 1 caught glimpse of form
robed in long ulster start back from
the landing and dash up stairs. My
first impulse was to let the burglar stay
up there if he cared to. because l could
have got along on the ground floor
well enough the remainder of the night,
and | do not want to seem inhospitable
to any one, but realized that 1t was my
duty to protect my family, and l took
after him. Well, sir. had no idea there
was so mnch fun in merrily romping
around the house with burglar after
business hours. Wemade the first cir
cult of my family residence within 10
seconds, and though could not focus
the dark lantern quickly enough to get
good look at the housebreaker could
tell by his hoarse labored breathing and
the way in which he reached out and
covered space that he was good deal
annoyed by the turn affairs had taken.
81 had never seen burglar act that
way before, and it did good deal to-
ward restoring confidence. 1t seemed to
me that burglar who had no more
sang froid and nerve than that had bet
ter go home and take in plain sewing
rather than try to exc out precarious
existence in the midnight marauding
line, and the reflection served to put SO
much boyish zeal and enthusiasm into
my mad pursuit that the hem of the only
garment with one exception that / was
wearing at the time began to fray out.
On the third lap we plunged heavily
fho ho1 20 h fr,f ha nd
my wife covered up her heal in the bed
clothes and screamed, and the dog took
after both of us, and there was trouble
all around.
'On the next round the burglar gained
a trifle on me, and when he reached the
kitchen he unbolted the back door and
dashed out into the night, with a pierre
ing wall, and | after him. We tore
around the house twice and then down
the sidewalk to the next house, where
The burglar made break for the barn
in the rear. l found him covering in
one corner of box stall, with hands
appraised, and as | stood over him with
leveled revolver the rays Of my trusty
dark lantern revealed hired girl, wear
ing a wild, hunted look and a dun col
ored robe de mutt made of outing fan
mel.
THAT was all. Silently and with
bowed, uncovered heads the girl and
walked back home, where the family
awaited us, and after she had explained
in a fatigued way that, hearing the
racket had kicked up, she had started
down stairs, and seeing me prowling
around the front hall had mistaken me
for burglar, we went to bed again,
and my wife felt greatly relieved. The
next morning when | went down town
saw my next door neighbor looking
curlously at the irregular splotches in
his driveway, where the hired girls
pink toes had dug into the gravel, but |
I'D not feel called upon to explain to
hin. Grand Rapids Democrat.
Description of q Village Choir.
DR.. "Westminster" Bridge, at the end
of a musical lecture in London, gave
an account of his experiences of village
choir in Suffolk. The local talent was
thus described: A few boys who scared
rocks, a blacksmith whose tenor voice !
was as metallic in sound as his anvil,
boy alto who had in his youth, it was