The Washington times., 1894-07-01
For Men Only;
Personal and Philosophical

Z
'sUncle Dick" Thompson, the hale old vet
eran of the Wabash. has been great lover Of
tobacco all his lifetime, and now in his age
he smokes from ten to twenty cigars day
and fills in the odd moments With an old pipe,
in which he inserts perique and plug tobacco.
His favorite brands Of the weed are .swabash
stogles," which are believed to be a little
worse than Pittsburg stogies.
t I
am credibly informed that the inspiration
for Rev. DIR. Hepworth s sermon In the Sun
day Herald comes from pie. The pie Is the
invention and manufacture OF Mr.. P. De Lam
cey Getzein. OF the owl lunch wagon, and Is
symphony in noodles. Swiss cheese. little
neck CLANS. and red currants. When the
order came from Paris to start series Of
Hepworth sermons the religious editor WAS a
little run down. He did not feel equal TO the
proposed new work He tried to write SER
mons and they turned out essays on baseball.
His oil forms OF diet had no effect In clearing
up his faculties, Town Topics says. At last
he heard from Mr. Casgett, of the dramatic
department. that Getzein. of the owl wagon,
was making kidney shortcakes that would in
spIre poetry in u policeman. Mr. Hepworth
tried the shortcake. but 1t did not ngree with
him. Then Mr. Getzein studied his case.
He learned what Mr.. Hepwortn wished to
produce. aud began experimenting on dishes
that would aid him in his work. After week
of constan, study Mr.. Getzein achieved what is
now termed tae Hepworth pie. 1t IS u noble
affair II is done in layers. On bottom
crust reposes stratum OF little neck clans.
Then comes an inch of Swiss cheese. then a
sprinkling OF noodles. then Il layer OF mashed
currants. and over all pastry Sarnished with
b Ik.V.sa in lf..t.N e.
ing The pie may be washed down with iced
sarsaparilla or butternilk. Mr.. Hepwo-th
began eating the pie on a Friday, and in the
next sundays paper there appeared sermon
from his pen that was almost too brilliant FOR
health since then the editor has eaten
nothing but Hepworth pie morning, noon,
and night, and he grows more startling.
! I I
Will Hon. wilkinson Call be elected the
next President of the United States by accla-
nation? asks this inquisitiye journal in
another place l should not be surprised.
When in the Senate last week he doAed his
boots with the dark blue tops and laid his
stockinged feet upon his desk and leaned
back TRANQUILITY while the pages snickered and
the gallery looked on in amaze, he gave him
self n great boost. make no doubt, into the
hearts OF the hayseeds OF the South and West.
What sim mplic.ty. what plainness. what scorn
OF eltete cOnNeutlOuaillles anu StTanyllnD
forms OF parliamentary etiquette. Who SAYS
the Senate il :. club now2 Do members Of
clubs appear unshod and put their feet upon
the manielpiece? Calls re-eiecfi, !; Sena- |
tor from Florida is certain.
The dispatches do not say whether his socks |
were common blue yarn or not. II they were, |
that is u great point in his favor, and will be |
almost certain to give him the Populist nom
ination for President 1t is easy for him to |
clinch opportunity and make his strength in |
If he will 90 into the Senate to- |
morrow and take off not only his boots. but |
his socks. and lay bis fulsome Florida feet |
upon his desk. a thrill of enthusiasm will |
shoot through the country. Hewill be hailed |
us plain patriot, without flies and without |
friils. There Will be c;tmpaign biographies of |
The Barefoot Boy OF the Everglades"
Statesmen in silk stockings or in any will |
have TO take Il back seat Mr.. Call will be
near to III. people. and 1t will make very
little difference whether he uses his mouth as
n foot-res; or not. As the Democrats of the |
Senate seem to have lost their heads, / am
glad to see them coming forward with their
feet
Where John Maddignn. late private soldier
in the United States army. made the mistake
OF his life was in going to sleep on ihe table
instead of IN Ter TINT piece of furniture. This
breach OF military ethics cost
Mr.. Maddiyaa his job. \ general court-mar-
tial sat on John the other day al the Presidio.
and sat long enough to hatch out 1ishonor-
able discharge from the service, says the San
Francisco Chronicle.
Mt since the discharge of private at Fort
Mason, about one year ago, for stealing
cents worth OF onions. has there been a case
of equal interest developed In army circles.
That u soldier should so far forget himself as
to slumber on the ta5le when thee is nothing
10 prevent him rom getting under it is. in
deed. to b. regretted. John Maddgan richly
deserves his late and should be held up as
horrible example.
From the published report of the court
martial Proceedings it appears that John
committed his heinous ofiense against the
government at 2 o'clock liz tEc morning.
That Mr.. Madd:gan was able to hold out that
on- before yie.din. 10 slumber should have
been considered in his favor. but it appears
mat John was not accorded any leniency
whatsoever.
/; was shown in evidence tba, the culprit
lad some dark d-s IN in entering the bat
iery kitchen. where the oirense WAS commit
led. At o clock III tie morning of May IL. |
Sel. Joha was seem running away from the
;i;chen Sc: apart for the use of Battery L,
Fifth artillery. stationed at the Pr,.sidio. The
OF the battery. Capt Il. X. Rob-
,rts. saw John running away at the time
ind ordered nm to hat. bui the aadacio1s
md disobed ent private fec AWAY in the gray
)t the morning. i t;is;y examination Of the
ihle AT that tine showed that II had not
,een slept OF. Not 10 be thwar,ed in the graf
liclt on of ne 8. patural desirr. Private
'lad,igau soon returned 20 the kitchen. ''ant.
lid 90 10 sleep on :he table therein. in direct
'iolalion OF the sixty-secoad article OF war
No,hn:; was said TO how long John
Numbered nn the kitchen table II, that un-
lcly hour. or whether he snOreG or talket in
lis slee,. H. was haued up oh u charge OF
conduct 10 the prejudice OF good order AMI
military discipline at the Prssi,io on Nav
&. Aher hsarins the testimony and intro
uriae the Kitchen table rs plaintiffs exhibit
10. /. Private John Maddigan was found
'uilty as charged and dishonorabiy dis
harged. forfeitirg whatever pay was due
i'm.
King Humbert OF Italy. is never publicly
cen on state occasions IN other than military
ostumr. He is described as u generous.
easy-goin: gentleman who Ie-
Tres TO live and let live. I,e looks well when
rrayrd in grand military costume sur
ounded by his brilliant staff, and IS u figure
'eli worth noticing when, seated in one OF
he gala carriages. he goes TO open a new ses-
ION of parliament.
1t is related OF Rrdvnrd Kipling that he one
ay stopped q Chinaman at station i'll YER
lont and tisei with him in Chinese ITO the
of the Chinanan and several
ystandcrs." After he had finished. the
CELESTIAL pIrsed up his almond eyes and
iankly remarked: Me no speakee English
ipling then proceeded on his way with the
onviction that his accent was of the quality
allied Broken China"
Men do not drink so much US they formerly
id. according to the bartenders and hotel
roprietors. Statistics have been carefully
Dmpiled hy paper devoted to the LIQUOR
callers. showing that the consumption of
ard drinks and champagnes is decreasing in
ie saloons. and the general run OF drinks are
lid and innocuous. Perhaps no better illus
alton could be given than that of the Tux
10 Club, of New York. which is an organizu-
OH composed exclusively of New Ycrkers.
nd of the type of New Yorkers who were