Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1894-03-02
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The man who labors under delu-
sion works for bad paymaster.
Anybody can see through people
who make spectacles of themselves.
Dallas News.
The borrower is a good deal like pie
crust-he is very "short" and very
sweet. Truth.
When a man has no bills against
him he must feel as if he belonged to
the nobility. Texas Siftings.
Eating ones own words isn't exactly
a love-feast, but sometimes our friends
enjoy seeing us do it. Truth.
A mans worth and what mans
worth, are, it frequently happens,
widely different things, Puck.
If man gets up when the day breaks
can he be said to have a whole day be-
fore him Minneapolis Times.
Sneezing is probably an effort of
nature to force lazy people to take
some exercise Milwaukee Journal.
Cholly-"Y "Yaas, we missed each other
in the crowd" She That's just like
her. She's always losing things. -
Life.
A large part of the average hack
mans success is doubtless due to his
knowing how to take people. Buffalo
Courier.
Clarissa 81 owe you an apology,
dearest" Fred-"Don't speak of it.
I wish to remain a preferred credi-
tor. Pack.
and do you ever invite your poor
relations to visit you?" 80 yes, in
deed. You see they are all too poor
to get here. Judge.
''Bilkein's is n strong face, or I'm
no judge of physiognomy. ut ought
to be. He and his whole family are
living on it, Buffalo Courier. =
Mamma Aren't you home from
school earlier than usual to-day p
Bobby--"Yes, mamma, | wasn't kept
in to-day. "-Harper's Young People.
II wonder what this image repre-
sents?" ''rhe god of humor, proba-
bly,. Don't you see that it is full of
little funny cracks" -Indiapolis Jour
nal
"Why in the world do you want to
get your daughter a violin, lawson
She is not m, .ical, is she?" "Not at
all but vic ms have chin rests. -
Judge.
Jinks--'I ont think it looks well
for minist + to wear diamonds.
| Ellkins- Why not? Aren't there
sermons in stones ?"-Kate Field's 's
Washington.
81 wonder how il was discovered
that fish was brain food?" She
Probably by the wonderful stories
that men tell who go fishing Chi
cago InterOcean.
He Did you ever hear that Jag.
sons wife speaks two languages p
! She--"Yes. He-"What are they
The one for company aud the other
for Jagson. Inter-Ocean.
"Now, what must do with this
wedding cake to dream OF it?" asked a
gushing damsel OF matter-of-faei
young man. Just eat it; that
all, was the reply, -Hd-Bits
She Tell me, now, have your af
fections always remained CONSTANT
He can truthfully say that they
have, though | admit that their object
has often changed. Boston Tran
script
Muggins some people are nevei
satisfied TO know that certain thing
are 80, but are continually wanting q
know the why and whereof Of a.
Busgins yes, I wonder why Il Is Z
Philadelphia Record.
cts bad luck, said the bal boy
''to give person something sharp o.
pointed | shouldn't be bit sur
prised II young Mr. Jinkles aud
we're 10 part friendship after ! leavi
this PIN IN has chair for him, Wash
ingtou Star,
Bartender "Look here, there
That Il da I've counted tru erackerl
AMI seven mnks oi hrrl you've eatel
already uunFry nne They hiFs
yaa l. tend here dan.t theys one
iuaeh counter b. enuush sec bas
tsu Transcript
fmd laaag AuihnF "tiayeaty you
I resd mY pecan to0 hastily m saFeI
firi 4 has s8ms fn0I features abaui i
that FaH sauii ser HH mofe careful
Feafaas Iiltut aiiA a saH.ien ftls
psseH ioH sre H0i uflHs l1 spEa
80 50 atrastif aa Hs. sra funf mlss
Chicago tfihnaa
fHaapa fTwmphsatf AhraFs