The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1894-06-08
"The Dogs and the FIeas. ="

truthful sketch of the present condition
of society, wherein the workers are THE
dogs, and the bankers, bondho1ders, cor
porations and capitalists both domestic
and foreign, are the fleas, which are
eternally sucking the blood of the dogs
and keeping the latter i'll state of frenzied
starvation The work has called forth
comment and praise from reformers on
every hand and is having phenomenal
sale. The author can only be guessed at,
as he prefers using the rather amusing
pseudonym, zone of the Dogs" but the
writer of this side-spliting illustration of
the publicans and sinners of the present
condition of society and the state, must
be known sooner or later. 1t is the very
book we have been wanting and has taken
an immense hold. Uncle Toms Cabin,
which fired the hearts of people to wipe
out chattle slavery of another race than
themselves, is very tame to this soul
| reaching criticism of wage slavery and
interest on bonds. Once get the book
into your hands and you will not leave it
until you have read the last page.
The work has rapidly exhausted three
editions. Published in paper covers at so
cents; cloth, $500; and may be ordered
from this office or from the publisher,
Douglas McCallun, 90 Washington ST.,
Chicago, Ill.
AS specimen of the writer's pungent
style and inimitable sarcasm the follow
ing chapter V of the book will give our
readers better idea of the work than
any description we can write:
THE CATTLE OF LIFE"-PUP McPooDLE's WICKED
EXPERIMENTATION OF THE PRoTEcTIvTARIF-
HOW 1T WAS neutrality-suspicious. OF THE
BLOOD AND BONES GRINDERY-sINGULAR BLOOD
At last it came to pass by reason of having for
gotten that there ever had been better days than
they now that the dogs grew to believe that
the state of things they lived under was the only
true and natural one. True they grew bad tenn
pered and fierce and bit and tore another in
their daily Battle of Life" True every dog tried
| to snatch the meat out ofevery other dogs mouth,
and true, many dog murdered for the sake
of any scrap of food he had succeeded in Saving
up and had put by for rainy day." True,
canine society had become Il hell upon earth,
where every dog took for his motto, Every dog
for himself and the devil take the hindmost," but
not one among them ever dreamed of doubling
that their state according to natural pre-
| ordination. Thus they came to regard the rule of
strength craft, cunning and good luck as the
proper one, because the only one; and to this
they squared their lives and their philosophy.
Their chief, Pup McPoodle 'stood in with the
heas, and on condition that his own body should
be free, he undertook to use his power chief to
make it easier for them to suck the blood of the
rest of the community. He walked in more evil
ways than any evil dog that ever reigned before
him. He revived all the denominations of the
heather whom the Lord cast out, and burnt in
cense unto strange gods and worshipped devils
and being tempted of these, he called council of
the hungriest and thrstest of the feas, and they
did devise and invent a wicked instrument of
torture called "Protectivtarif." 1t was ma
chine having a nice bed on which dog was laid,
and an upper portion called "dooty'' which was
worked with long handle called government"
which was invisible to all but the operators but
which when properly operated brought down the
''dooty" upon the dog with variously regulated
degrees of squeeze and crush ranging from twenty
five to one hundred and fifty pound per square
inch and which caused the dog to howl and his
blood to squirt out for more rapidly than the feas
could extract it by ordinary suction.
But over the use of this instrument the ieas got
to disagreement and pickering. For there were
those who said that the higher pressures were
destructive of profit to the feas, as they nearly
killed the dog and prevented him making new
blood; that the lower pressures alone were profit
| IL.
higher the pressure the better for the dog" for
toey Dad invented Rule-Of- Contrary Magnifying
Glass that had most astonishing property, when
looked through, of making dog appear bigger
and plumper and more prosperous, the more he
was lattened out. Argufy as they might, the Low
Pressure eas could not get the High Pressure feas
to look at the squeezed dogs with the naked eye
For answer the High Pressursts rolled up their
eyes most piously and said that the invention of
the Glass was the Gift of God, sent down from
Heaven to look at dogs with, and it would never
do to despise the Gift by blasphemously doing
without it, and looking at facts with sinful natural
| eyes. And the High Pressurists did prevail in
argument, for they were more powerful than the
Low Pressurists, and kept up the high pressure
against the protests of the Low Pressurists that
many dogs had the ghost squeezed out of them
and died.
And then with the help of this instrument the
feas went off and invented another called a
| So Trust" the wickedness of which can only be
| fully expressed in Satanese. And other base dogs
seeing that the only way to get freedom them
selves was to help the eas to suck the rest, went
and licked the feet of McPoodle and became his
| courtiers and aided and abetted him in bringing
their fellow dogs under the power of the fieas.
Then did some of the biggest and fattest feas
gather themselves together, and put their wits
| together to devise most wondrous scheme of
prosperity to themselves Said they, 40! These
| dogs be jackasses most foolish. They act not
together, neither bark they in unison. Though
they be exceeding strong and we be but weak, zoe
can do just as zoe please Nth them, for have wit
and they have strength which they know not hO,o to
use. We will put on them therefore AS much as
they will bear We know how far we dare go and
if any out-ofdate fool, with such a piece ofanti-
quated old furniture as n heart within him. shall
dare to demonstrate with us will say, The dogs
be damned"
And it was so that they ordered McPoodle to
order his slaves to build them big Mill with
Il great, wide deep hopper to it, which Mill was
turned with long Handle that went exceedingly
hard and creaky for want of oil. And McPoode
set lot of his courtier and lickspite dogs called
"Chuchers-in" to catch and chuck other dogs into
the hopper; and got a lot of very hungry dogs for