Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1894-06-07
HER TENDER soLIcITUDE.

made their mark. This is all changed
now. Every baron can write, but
only few succeed in making their
mark. Boston Transcript.
REMEDY.
"Ah, doctor, my son is so poorly
and jaded he never gets to sleep before
o'clock. Cannot you do something
for him 2"
Hum Suppose we try simple
remedy to start with. Let us make
him give up his latchkey. "-[London
Million.
THE MONARCH OF THE PLACE.
The two drummers were sitting IN
the Office of Chicago hotel, descant-
ing upon the manners of the clerk,
who did not altogether please them
when man came in and the erst-
while naughty clerk became all
obeisance.
Look at him, now, will you ? !"
said one; 'he's polite enough to that
party; guess it must be the head
clerk"
"Not much" dissented his COM
panion; sit must be the landlord. !"
Cor the owner of the house. Sup
pose we ask him, and they APP
preached the clerk, in suppliant
attitude.
WAS that the head clerk ?" asked
the older drummer.
Nav" replied the clerk scorn-
fully.
''Was it the landlord ?"
Nav"
"Was it the owner Of the house ? I"
Course not; what you take me
for That's the man that holds the
mortgage on the whole shebang."
-[Detroit Free Press.
RURAL ADVANTAGES.
City Man-Whew Seems to me
it's about as hot in the country as it
is in the city.
Suburban Host-Y-e-s; but IL you
get overcome by the heat here and
fall in faint you are in no danger of
being dubbed by policeman.
WILLIAMS IN LUCK.
Merchant : William, hasn't the
baseball season opened ;"
Clerk-Yes, sir.
Merchant-Well, William, / don't
want you to kill off all your relatives
so you can go to their funerals once
or twice week. Here's u pass
Detroit Free Press.
MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES.
II undahstand," said Chappie to
Cholly, THAT Willie Wibbles has
gone into twade."
Impossible (" replied Cholly.
"Dweadful, isn't it ? Do you think
we can pwopahly associate with him
any NOAH ?"
II don't know, we might make an
exception in his case. You know he
is really too stupid to have the first
chawnce in the world Of being sue
cessful and wemaining shop
keeper. "-[Washington Star.
THE RESULT.
Willie Wilt-Do you know, fancy
1 have quite literary bent.
Van Demmit--All right, my boy
keep on and you'll be worse than
bent--you'll be broke Puck.
FIsHERMEN's SUPPLIES.
An enterprising-looking old coun-
tryman with a large basket full Of
fine brook trout, was standing in
the doorway of railway station.
A passenger accosted him and, after
admiring the fish, remarked:
Going to take them home for
supper, / suppose?'
Not IL can help it," the grinning
rustic replied, There be party Of
city gents as went out fishing from
here this morning. They're spectcd
back soon, and Pm just a-lying rou,d
whiting to save their feelings. -
Harlem Life.
A QUANDARY.
"Ah, Perkins, settled down in your
new fat at last p"
mot exactly; we're in dreadful
quandary. We've signed tbree
years lease, and now find the par
lor's four sizes too small for the
piano, and the kitchen ceiling ~ 50
low we've had to discharge tho cook
we've had for eight years, and got a
shorter one who can cook stSi.ding
up Harper's Bazaar.
A COMPLICATED MENTAL STATE.
Toni notice that since Ml.ggins
said he'd thrash you you doG't go
near his place. Are you afraid
Dick-N-no. Only I'm afraid that
may be 1 might be afraid.-fCnicago
Record.
THE MODERN MAID.
ibid you tell the hired girl that
you couldn't put up with her
work ?" asked Mr.. Simmons at the
dinner table.
Eyes"
"What did she say 2"
''She said there was nothing keep
IT,, 80 Lo~o Itlutk l;Ia xIa