davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
TITLES IN GERMANY.
They Are Always Given In Full, No Matte
How Long.


How Long.
Title-giving and titlc-wearing are
made a serious business in Germany.
1t is dangerous to assume one that does
rot belong to you; and it is almost
equally dangerous to withhold one from
man to whom it does belong. In a
country where tradesman is liable to
be sued at law for insulting a customer
in addressing whom he has signed him
self, Most humbly" instead of Respect
fully and most humbly," life would
seem to be beset with many pitfalls.
An English writer gives the follow
ing as an address which is probably
written thousands of times week in
Germany, since it is courtesy due to
well-known official. whose rank is far
below that of minister of state:
Highly reverenced Mr.. Real Privy
Councillor, highly to be revcrenced Mr..
President
The title councillor has four degrees,
thus: Positive, councillor; compare
tive, higher councillor; superlative,
privy councillor; and extra-supcrlative,
real privy councillor. And then, to
make matters more confusing, there
are a hundred or more other council
lors, such as councillors of legation,
councillors of state, sanitary council
Tors, forest councillors, and town police
councillors.
Titles of another class have to do
with the wearer's occupation. Thus
Munich newspaper records the death
OF Frau So and SO, wife of the Royal
Court Theater Colorgrinder's Assist
ant" In Bavarian newspapers, not
long ago. used to be found notices, in
serted by the persons themselves, of
the bctrothal of So and SO. Royal
supernumerary hay-binder's daughter, :"
or of SO and So, Head bill-poster's
daughter"
When royal parsonage dies his body
is spoken of, with becoming reverence,
as ''the high corpse, or 1.-THE most high
CORPSE
But the English writer who furnishes
the foregoing examples for his readers
amusement, goes on to say that the
German law would abolish not few
titular absurdities and impertinences
that are common in England, and he
might have added, in the United States.
I'm Germany when man takes the
prefix doctor he has a right to do so.
The title cannot have been bought, or
begged, or self-created. Moreover, you
may be sure that he has won his title
by hard work in a national university,
and that his doctorate does not emanate
from an unknown seminary in Tim
buctoo.
80. too, professors are SO by rank
and right, conferred duly by the state
because deserved truly, for the title
cannot be assumed otherwise. youths
Companion.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
THE POST OFFICE At SEA.
How the Malls are Handled ON Big Ocean
Steamers.

How the Malls are Handled ON Big Ocean
Steamers.
The system of railway post offices has
been found SO successful, and a means
of saving so much valuable time, that
it has been extended to the trans
atlantic steamships. This was begun
under Mr.. Wanamaker's administration
as postmaster-general, but so far mail
clerks have only been placed on the
American ships running to Southamp-
ton and on the German ships that go to
Bremen and Hamburg.
On each of the vessels of the lines
mentioned large staterooms have been
set aside and fitted ont for the use of
postal clerks. Big racks of pigeon
holes stand up against the walls, and
the mail pouches hang from stands in
the center of the room. In these post
offices the clerks work from eight to
ten hours a day during the entire
voyage, distributing the mails by cities
and states. when coming this way, and
by railroad lines when going to Ger
many. On each ship there is one Ameri-
can clerk, one German clerk and
UeTuldn dSSlSVduts uc AIucTicdu Is Ill
charge going eastward, and the German
has charge of things coming this way.
These clerks, of course, are men of
energy and intelligence. They are the
best material taken from the postal
services of both countries. The Ger
mans wear gaudy uniforms with mill
tary caps and swords, and are called by
tho high-sounding name of ''Reichs
Post Secretaer." The American calls
himself ''sea post clerk" In spite of
the lack of gold braid and side-arms,
however, the Americans are the most
reliable men. 1t is said that when the
Elder went on the rocks on the coast of
Ireland last year the ''Reichs Post Sec
retaer" grabbed his sword and made
for the life-boats. The American stood
to his business, and did not leave his
post until he had overseen the transfer
of the mails from the leaking ship to
q tug. These sea post clerks handle
about q hundred and forty thousand
letters and sixty sacks of papers each
trip; but in December and January
their work is almost doubled.
per's Young People.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

There is no other thing that you
can get SO much of for nothing as adj
vice.-Ram's Horn.
First Girl-"Don't you trust Jack;
he's a gay deceiver." Second Girl-"Do
you speak from experience?"
-"Dempsey's horse SHES at every
silly thing he Sees" She-''Doesn't it
make you dreadfully nervous to go
near him?"-Inter Ocean.
The boy Dickens had the expert
ence described in David Copperield.
The work was in many important par
ticulars a record of his own life.
"A Fast Man by Professionalism
that Mr.. Pensil trifle fast?" ''He ought
to be. He's the best shorthand writer
in this country. Chicago Record.
Head of the Firm" Humph! Booker
off again to-day? What's his excuse
this time? A lame one, I'll bet" Clerk
em-"Yes, sir; broke his leg, SIR
Buffalo Courier.
tive got one of the best janitors in
my building that you ever saw" "Have
you? In what way?" why, the other
day he let me borrow some of my own
coal from him. Halo.
The Reformed Cannibal-''So your
name is Goodpastor, is it? 1t may in
terest you to know that served your
grandfather" Young Missionary-'In
what way?'' Reformed Cannibal-
"Fricasseed. Detroit Journal.
f. -May-"Are you still calling on
Nellie Update?" Brother Jack-"Yes;
she's very bright girl" May-"She
must be; hear you don't need light
in the parlor when you and she are
there. "-Philadelphia Record.
The man who was undecided
whether to buy q steam launch or a
sailing yacht has his mind all made up
now. He has discovered that it takes
money to run steam launch, while
you can run sailing yacht on wind
Boston Globe.
The hermit turned pale at the sound
OF human voice near his lonely abode.
His heart chilled with foreboding as he
listened. rs my hat on straight?"
''That everlasting woman question
again." he snarled, and plunged yet
deeper into the wilderness Detroit
Tribune. t
Bessie was just finishing her break
fast as papa stopped to kiss her before
going down town. The little one grave
ly took up her napkin and wiped her
cheek. "What, Bessie!'' said her father,
"wiping away papa's kiss?" 20, no."
she said, looking up with asweet smile,
Use rubbing it in."-Sacred Heart Re-
view.
During the early conquests of the
French in Algeria, the quick-tempered
Gen. P thinking that one of his ad-
jutants had displayed want of skill in
carrying out his orders, so far forgot
himself as to strike him with his rid
ing whip. The officer seized his pistol,
took aim at the general, and was about
to fire, but the pistol would not go off.
Then the general Immediately called
ont: Eight days arrest for not keep
ing your weapons in order. "-L'Amico
del Giovanetti.
Lady Ito janitor of Masonic tenn
plel-''Here's quarter, Pat. and will
You show me the goat that I'm told the
Freemasons keep here?' Would /
bees showing it?" asked Pat. IF you
please" replied the lady; II always
pick some of these long, silky, auburn
hairs off my husbands coat when he
has been to the lodge meeting, and 1
thought I'd like to see such queer
animal" ''Quare, mum?' said the
shrewd Pat; ''he is that, mum. The
color O. an Irish setter, mum. But. shure,
the haste is sick to-day."--N Y. Recorder
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

Professor Stone-To the geologist n
thousand years are not counted as any
time at all.
Man in the audience-Great Scott!
And to think ] made temporary loan
of ten dollars to man who holds such
views. --Indianapolis journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
Twenty four carat gold is all good.

-Twentyfpur carat gold is all good.
Twenty-Five carat gold has twenty-five
parts of gold. one of silver and one Of
copper, eighteen carat gold has
eighteen parts of pure gold and three
parts each Of silver and copper in its
composition, twelve carat gold is half
gold, the remainder being made up of
three and one-half parts OF silver and
seven and one half parts of copper.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
Home Araini

After brief absence the cheerful visitor,
dyspepsia, returns again. Our traditional
mother-in-law is nothing to it. To prevent
repeated visits use Hostetter's Stomach Bit
ters Also seek the aid of this comprehen-
sive remedy for malaria, liver and kidney
trouble, debility and nervousness. Question
those who have been troubled with these
and kindred ailments. They win testify in
behalf of the Bitters.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
The True laxative Principle

OF the plants used in manufacturing the
pleasant remedy, Syrup of Figs, has a per-
manently beneficial effect on the human sys-
tenn, while the cheap vegetable extracts and
mineral solutions, usually sold as medicines.
are permanently injurious. Being well in
Manufactured by California Fig Syrup Co.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

| said Susan. "Tve been in the family
sence them men was Dyes, an Mr..
John was alwuz queer, an clus, an
'cumulative-but for all that, kind an
honest as the daylight! But that there
Mr.. Silas-alwuz wild an shiftless, il
nothin' wuss-he worritted your poor
granma mos to death. An from what
i see, faint at all likely he's changed
his ways"
The plain statement rather shook
the foundations of the air castle which
Gertie had begun to build; but still,
| on thinking it over, she decided that
old Susan might be wrong, and es-
pecially as she acknowledged that she
hadn't heard nothin' about Mr.. Silas
an his ways" since he left his home to
seek his fortune in South America, so
many years ago.
So Gertie took great pains to be very
polite and attentive to Uncle Silas, and
especially in the evenings, when Uncle
John went ont for his solitary walk.
She had begun to pride herself upon
the impression she was making, when
one night he suddenly inquired:
Are you the one with a theory
about the boy and the needle and
workbag?"
"No, that was Nellie" she STAN
mered, while she vainly tried to recall
her own disparaging remarks about
the listener ON that memorable after
noon.
But whatever Uncle Si1as had over
heard, he evidently was not angry. for
he seemed to be enjoying her en-
barrassment.
But you mended my coat" he per-
sisted.
"N-no, that was Nellie, too"
"Ob, l begin to see. Nellie found
the gold piece, and you spent it; call
that fair division of labor"
81 made her keep it," said Nellie.
quickly coming to the rescue of her
unhappy sister. "Gertie tried to give
it to me, but there was nothing hap
pened to want, so wouldn't take it."
''Oh," said Uncle Silas, then APP
parently Gertie did want something
just at that moment?"
'I'm always wanting something"
murmurcd Gertie. II do wish l was
richr'
Uncle Silas actually chuckled over
this reply; then, as Nellie became alb.
sorbed in her book again, he bent for
ward and laid his bony hand upon
Gertie's arm.
You're smart" he said, ''and you'll
be rich, too, one of those days, or I'll
miss my guess"
Far from sharing Gertie's romantic
belief, Nellie did not for q moment
dream of the hold it had taken upon
her sisters Imagination. But already
Gertie had began to throw out mys-
terious hints to her classmates about
her uncle's wealth, and an exagger-
ated story of the gold piece was going
the rounds of the school. She could
not help mourning little in secret, at
the possibility of being separated from
her sister; for it was evident that
Uncle Silas was quite Indifferent to-
wards Nellie, and so it could hardly
be expected that he would treat them
both with equal favor But at the
same time she was very eager for him
to reveal his plans, and to enter the
life of luxury he so often limited of to
her.
The girls at school were growing
more and more curious, but hardly
more impatient than Gertie herself.
Her castle in the air had grown so real
to her that never morning came but
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03
Wei. s.cured.

Don't be hard on the boy, James, {"
said the young profigate's mother
know he's been wild, but he gives prom
iss now of doing better in the future. :"
Yes groaned the father, ''and I'm
paying per cent. interest on most of
his promises. Chicago Tribune.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

81 PRESUME you funny men aim to deal
with questions Of the hour, do you notl"
"Oh, yes. Icalculate that there have beer
when it is time for him to go home."-Ir-
dianapolis Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

PRoPuETIc.-"Has she given you any en-
couragementF' "Oh, yes! She says she
win get all of her fathers money when he
he dies lilies Calendar.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

GLENN's Sulphur Soap is genuine rem
edy for Skin Diseases
Hills Hair and Whisker Dye, so cents.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

ACCORDING to Kipling, the elephant Is q
gentleman. Nonsenset Who ever heard of
q gentleman carrying his trunk himselfs-
Boston Transcript.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

DEACON PARKER--s'Did you smell onionsl''
Col Korn-''Not till you spoke."-Life.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

The custard pie is che loor mans natural
dessert. There is no aristocracy about the
custard pie. That is to say, no upper crust.
Boston Transcript.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is a Constitutional Cure. Price 75c.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1894-11-03

Home-Seekers' Excursions.
On Sept. II, Sept. % and Oct. Q the Bur-
iington Route viii sell excursion tickets to
all points in the Northwest, West and South
west, at one fare for the round trip, plus -.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04
PERSONAL AND POLITICAL.

ON the 30th Frank Hatton ex-post- master-general and editor of the Wash ington Post, who was, some days pre- viously. stricken with paralysis while at work at his desk, died at his home in Washington.
 UNITED STATES SENATOR STOCK BRIDGE, of Michigan, who had for a long time been in delicate health, died in Chicago on the 30th.
 ATToRNEY-GENERALM MOLoNEY of lii nois will file bill in chancery against the American Tobacco Co-which he declares to be trust-and 200 leading business men of Chicago who are act ing as it's agents.
 ON the 30th Miss Harriet Blaine, the remaining single daughter of the late James G. Blaine, was married to Mr. Truxton Beale, of Washington, for merly minister to Persia and to Greece. The wedding took place at the Blaine residence. on Lafayette square. near the White House, where Mir. Blaine died, and marked the ending of the period of deep mourning for the family.
 ON the 30 Mir. William Astor Chand- Ter arrived at Cairo. Egypt, from Zanzi- bar, after his second central African expedition, and become the guest of United States Minister Penfeld. He left on the 1st for Vienna, going thence to one of the German health springs. Mir. Chandler will contribute a report of his explorations to the New York Geographical society.
 JUDGE TAFT. of the United States court at Cincinnati, has refused to re- strain Receiver Felton from reducing the wages of the employees of the Cin- cinnati Southern railroad 10 per cent. to go into effect forthwith
 TIE remains of United States Sena- tor Francis B. Stock bridge, of Michi- gan, who died in Chicago on the 29th, were inferred in Kalamazoo. Mich, on the Sd, where the family reside.
 THE proposed meeting of common wealers on the steps of the capitol at Washington on the 1st, to awe con- gressmen and senators into a sense of their duty to the unemployed, was pre- vented by the authorities Messrs. Browne and Jones, who were more demonstrative than General" Coxey, were arrested and jailed.
 GEN. ALGER, Mayor Pingree of De- troit and ex-Gov. Luce are men toned as possible successors to Sena- tor Stock bridge
 EDITOR FRANK NATIONS death caused a great shock to the many friends he made in Burlington, Ia., during his residence there as manager of the Hawlxeve His mother a sister and number of his wife's relatives live at Mount Pleasant, la, and the sorrow there is general.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04
NEWS IN BRIEF.
Compiled from Various Sources.
CONGRESSIONAL PROCEEDINGS.

IN the senate on the 26th. Mir Jarvis the new senator from North Carolina appointed 10 fill the vacancy caused by the death of Senator Vance. sworn in. Mir. Aliens resolution as to the rights of Coxey and his followers to visit the capitol. to assemble and petition for redress of grievances. was further discussed being vigorously denounced by several speak CTS The tariff bill was then taken up. Messrs. Higgins and Dolph addressing the senate. ..... In the house the diplomatic and consular bill was further considered in committee of the whole. reported to the house and passed.
 IN the senate on the 27th Mir Aldrich. re- publican leader of the opposition to the tarir bill. challenged the democrats to a vote at D. m. on the bill as it passed the house; also as it was reported from the finance committee. The latter challenge being accepted by MT Harris, the democrat having the bill in charge both propositions were withdrawn on the ground that they had not been accepted promptly.s Mir. Cullom made an earnest speech against the bill. and Mir. Dolph delivered the fifth installment of his speech against it ..... In the house twenty-five private pension and rellef bills were disposed of by unanimous consent. Nearly the entire day was spent in committee of the whole upon the private cal endar.
 IN the senate on the osth, MT Hale (Me.) re- sumed the tactics pursued the day previous by Mir. Aldrieh. of taunting the democrats with their changed front upon the tariff question. Several speeches were made on the bill. after which eulogies on the late Representative lilly, of Pennsylvania, were delivered .... In the house the army appropriation bill was taken up and general debate thereon exhausted. It was considered short time by paragraphs for amendment when. the point of no quorum be- ing raised, the house adjourned.
 IN the senate on the 3Oth, seven hours were spent in discussing the tariff bill-several points furnishing ground for heated arguments During the closing speech of the day Mir. Fur pie (Ind.) thrice accused Mir Aldrich of utter ing untru;hs, which the latter ntimated would not have been done except under the protec- tion of the senate. In the house the resig- nation of Representative Caldwell, of Ohio was received and filed. After the considera- tion of less important business, the army ap- propriation bill was further considered and passed.
 IN the senate on the 2d. during . ten minutes session resolutions expressive of the sorrow Of the senate at the death of Senator Stock bridge were passed. when further mark of respect for the memory of the deceased the senate adjourned .. In the house the mem bers gave more attention to the movements of the army of the Commonweal in their attempt to hold meeting upon the steps of the capitol than to legislative business. The proceedings were almost purely formal and after the pas sage Of resolutions of respect to the memory of the late Senator Stockbridge the house at 1 35 D. m., adjourned.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04

A ST. LOUIS judge has just decided another common law marriage case in favor of the woman. It was a case in which the brother of decedant was endeavoring to deprive the widow and the infant son of his brother of their just inheritance and, incidentally, to send the boy out into the world name less and penniless The precedents in Missouri jurisprudence are opposed to such heartless conduct. and the grasp ing brother has received merited re- buke.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04

THE British house of lords had its heartiest laugh for many day recent ly at the queer speech of Lord Stanley, in advocacy of bill restricting the sale of firearms. Under the provis- ions of this bill, no dealer would be permitted to sell a pistol. except to the holder of d game license, and it was gravely explained by the noble lord that no license was to be issued to a married woman, on any consideration, as husbands were outside the definition of fair game within the meaning of the bill.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04

THE prevailing strike of the bitumi- nous coal miners for adjustment of wages on living bases, however well founded on strict principles of human ity and justice, is, after all, war of rude toilers, imperfectly organized, poorly led. and meagerly rationed, against handful of keen capitalists who will be supported by all the power of the state in their efforts to replace the seceders, and who can afford to loll and laugh for weeks until the poor penitents come back, begging for the positions they now abandon.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04
The Methodist Conference.

MEMPHIS, May 2.-For the next two weeks the general conference of the Methodist Episcopal church, south will be in session in this city to legis- late on matters affecting the future growth and prosperity of that great denomination. Delegates have been arriving on every train for several days, both the clergy and the laity be- ing represented by their shining lights.
 The address of the Bishops to the conference is ready to be delivered, but will not be made public until tomor- row, possibly not until Friday, as to- morrow's session will be consumed al most entirely by .he delegates
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04

THE final sales of the Worlds fair buildings have been concluded. The White City will soon be dismantled, and the material that went to make up it's beautiful palaces will find its way into old lumber yards, junk shops, scrap iron yards and the white fur naces of rolling mills to be effaced and changed and wrought into the struc- lures of prosaic matter-of-fact ware houses. dwellings or iron sheds
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04

THE press of St. Louis is going into spasms because a school principal caused the arrest of three boys of ten- der years, who invaded the school prem ises on a day when school was not in session and maliciously destroyed the wire netting over one of the windows and smashed the glass. The papers should start a fund to furnish the youngsters with glass and rocks to keep their hands in so that they may grow up as approved hoodlums.
The Forrest City times., 1894-05-04
CRIMES AND CASUALTIES.

PHILIP ScHNEIDER's dwelling in South Scranton, Pa, was burned on the morn ing of the 26th, and three of his chil- dren in an upper room were burned to death.
 ON the 26th P. N. Lund. a prominent citizen, was burned to death at his farm, ? miles from Fairmont, Minn., while fighting prairie fire. He was overcome by the heat and smoke and fell forward into the flames, and was so horribly burned that he was scarce ly recognizable.