Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-06-23
NOT A PLEASANT EXISTENCE
Husband Who Had to BE Carefs
Wbere He Sat Down.

A Husband Who Had to BE Careful
Where He Sat Down.
When Tom came home at night, wearied
from long days worriment and vexation
in the Office, he received a loving welcome
from his wife.
That is, he would have received loving
welcome if they had owned no furniture.
1t was the furniture that played the mis-
chief with Toms domestic bliss.
He would enter his front door, tired and
exhausted. and his wife would meet him
and say:
why, Tom, it's very strange that you
can never come into the front door without
winding the entry mat up in roll. You
have nearly spoiled it now. It's no use for
me to try to have anything. You are sure
to spoil it by your careless habits"
Pm sorry, my dear" began Tom,
''but"--
"Oh, Tom" broke in his wife, don't
stand there with the door wide open and
the dust blowing in upon my furniture. 1t
will all be ruined completely. Oh, dear,
man is such careless ANIMAL I some
times think he should never be allowed to
enter a house, but should be confined
somewhere in the yard in a strong cage
with no carpets, no furniture, no draperies
nor anything"
IF you will buy me cage" said Tom.
Il VIII i've IN ana ne Threw ultuSelI
YEARLY into chair.
Mercy on us" screamed hiswife. Tom,
get out of that chair at oncel Haven't I
told you a thousand times that that chair
was never meant to sit in?"
II always thought that was the purpose
for which n chair was made,' said Tom.
That's just as stupid as some men are"
said his Wife
II hope my cage will be ready tomor-
row." said Tom as he threw open the front
blinds to gaze out upon the sunset.
ut is strange, Tom" said his wife, that
you can never go near those windows with
out tangling yourself all upin the lace cur
tains. You are just like a child. You think
you must look out of every window you see.
Here you came into the house and then i'm
mediately go to looking out of doors If
you wanted to see the scenery outside, why
didn't you stay outs"
Tom closed the blinds and threw himself
into another chair without n word. Much
married life had made him taciturn.
There, Tom, you have worn that tidy off
the back of that chair just the way you al
ways do. Here | worked for weeks and
weeks on that tidy and shaved myself to
death in trying to make our home look pref
ty and beautiful. It's discouraging. wish
was dead! Therer
May be allowed to stand on one foot in
the middle of the room, my dear?" meekly
suggested Tom.
Eyes, and on that elegant Turkish rug
that cost us so much money, with your dirty
shoes on"
II have had several stubborn misappre
tensions of mine corrected today" said
Tom. MY ignorance was SO dense that
was actually stupid enough to think that
chairs were made to be sat upon, that rugs
were made to walk over and that windows
were made to look out of. But now, to my
clarified vision, l see what monstrous delu
sions 1 have been cherishing."
Here Tom took his hat and started away.
why, Tom" said his wife, you have
Just come home. Where are you going?"
II am going out" said Tom, Ito commit
some crime to see if l can't be sent to the
penitentiary, so that 1 can have place of
residence where l can sit down and enjoy
myself."-New York World.