The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1894-01-14

ter around, requested him TO record his
name. 1t was either cold weather and his
hand was benumbed or he did not care to
remove his glove; he made some excuse.
Just scribble A. j. Gambill of Califor-
MIA for me-" he said to the clerk.
Certainly, sir" bowling politely, awed
slightly by the colonePs imposing manner
"How do you spell your name?"
Colonel Jack los ked at his QuestiOner,
and then a smile involved all his features.
sonny" he said, softly, ''thar's whar
you've got me.
At another time. however. the colonel
turned the tables hands Omely on an Ill
hammered prig OF fellow who sneered at
his ignorance of penmanship.
That's all right, young man. Your
father was good penman?"
First class"
$50 Pm told. Couldn't be beat. That's
why he had to leave Boston,"
wv hat 40 you mean?"
"Only this, that your dad admired his
own signature so much that he tried his
fine hand on other peoples"
The young man Immediately had bust
ness elsewhere.
What Colonel Jack was remarka BILE for
IN his speech was Quaintness of expression
and the originality of his illustrations
One day he was gossiping in group
about matters and things, and the con-
versatlon turned on the looks of certain
people whose names were mentioned, and
who were considered by those present
tirstrate examples of ugliness.
u don't know about taat," dissented
the colonei. I've seen q hOmbre down
about the SansOme-street market that
double discounts every one that has been
mentioned. DE wars the buck-horns for
ugllness In Eay opinion. If / was sent out
TO hunt the humliest man in San Francisco
I'd snap cap at that fellow. sure"
The reply the colonel made to life in
surance agent once has long ago been listed
among local colloQuiallsms. Like all men
of his class he was imprOvident. With
him, as with all devOtees of the goddess of
chance, 1t was come day, go day and the
Lord send Sunday" These men believe
that sufficient for the day is the evil
thereof. They take no thought for the
morrow, what they shall eat, what they
shall drink. or wherewithal they shall be
clothed. They feel confident the daily
grub stake" will be forthcoming. How,
they know not, but the stake will come,
1t would be thought the colonel was most
unlikely subject for an insurance agent to
tackle. but one of these interchangeable Sc
licitors approached him on one occasion
and sought to arouse in his mind a provi-
dent feeling.
Whats the scheme. sonDy?"
The agent explained the advantages Of
Life insurance generally and of the meth
ods adopted by his company in particular
The colonel listened patiently for some
time and then interrupted the speaker
rather abruptly.
Thar, thar, that's enough. It's the
same old game, and. sonny, Pm sorry
you've talked SO long to no purpose, but /
never play III game where l must die to
win"
Colonel Jack ventured on visit to New
York. after being some time in California,
and so far as the great metropolis was
concerned he was an Innocent abroad.
Numberless are the tales told of his ex-
periences and mischauces in the Empire
City. he was a sort of Bill Briggs in one
sense. Briggs, it is said. when he came
over the plains to California and had seen
no city larger than st. Louis, offered to
bet when he reached Sacramento that the
Missouri metropolis was the largest city in
the world. Colonel Jack was bewildered
and lost in New York. He was standing
on the steps of that formerly famous
Broadway hotel, the ST. Nicholas. one day,
when he saw the driver of one of the old
Kip d Brown omnibuses holding up his
forehnger, the trick they had at that time
70 attract the notice of possible passengers.
He was looking in Colonel Jacks direc-
tlon. The colonel Immediately made for
MIN, climbed up to the box with his old
sfage-driver' s.alacrity and held out his hand.
Howdy." lie said to the jehu.
what IN - are you doing here, and
who the - are your" asked the puzzled
driver.
Didn't you beckon to me?" asked the
colonel. land aren'tyou from Tennessee ?''
Never saw Tennessee in my life. /
was only touting for passengers"
Ihe colonel thought he recognized an