The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1894-08-24

ton News
ALLIGATOR skin seems very appro-
pirate as material for making a grip
-Picayune.
WENT down with his colors dying
the painter when his staging broke.
Lowell Courier.
UNFoRTUNATELY a mans funeral
sermon comes too late to live up 70.
Syracuse Courier.
WHEN the devil comes to an empty
mind he Is sure Of place to stay all
night. Rams Horn
No LOGICIAN has ever yet con-
WINGED a boy that it was time TO
come out OF the water. Plain Dealer
SHE-"What is the tariff" He
trembling)-~Yo wouldn't dare to
say that to me If you were a man. -
Detroit Free Press.
DON'T fool with q wasp because you
think he looks weak and tired; you
will find out he's all right In the
end.-Lowen Courier.
TALK about energyl Has anyone
more than the woman who works the
beefsteak FOUNDER that wakes you up
in the morning ga tchison Globe.
Mrs HoUsEHoLDER-@T 1.-The iceman
didn't call this morning" Cook
Yes, ma'am, he did. There is a
puddle on the dOorsteps. -Leaven-
worth Times.
A BOY never saw all OF a circus:
he frlnly believes that only half or
it is there, the half that is on the
bills being in some other town. At
Gibson Globe
This is what might be termed a
bit OF sharp practice, murmured the
BARRIERS apprentice as he started In
D T. IL
zor.-Buffalo Courier.
SHE-Mr. Bacon tried to put his
arm about my waist four or five times
last night. He's Mr.. Bacon a freak
or is your waist SO very small?-
Yonkers Statesman.
SHE-~What did you mean by say
ing that looked like a chromo?" lie
-"Why-er-I meant TO say that you
did not look as though you we're paint
ed. "-IndianapOlis Journal
A FIvE-YEAR-OLD boy with long
fiaxen curls looks a great deal pref
tier to his mother than he does to
the short-haired little boys who play
with him. -Somerville Journal
TEACHER@"The race is not always
to the swift. Do you understand the
inner meaning of that" Bright
Boy Sometimes the head feller's
tire gets punctured. Good rews.
BILLr1RED-"Thew world owes me a
good livin' an that's all they be to it. "
Tom WISER oil boy, but you
see they is so many % you fellers that
she can't pay her bills. Boston Cou-
rier-
THIS is the season Of revenge. The
young man who was laughed at when
he slipped on the banana peel watches
-
the hammock breaks. Washington
Star.
~BEa pardon, 4" said the missionary,
"but you will translate his maiesty's
remarks again? Did he tell his daugh-
ter that he was to have guests TO din
ner or for dinner" - Indianapolis
Journal.
Mrs. HALE Gust married Maria,
we will have eel as a second course
for dinner" Maria-"HOw much
ought I TO get. ma'am?" Mrs Hale
y think twelve yards will be sufl-
Gent Vogue.
MISS BELLEFIELD (relatinR an in
dent)-Then I dropped my voice.
and Mr.. Halket Onterrupting)
That wouldn't hurt it. You,s Is
such a soft voice, you know. Pitts
burg Chronicle.
OHE- Our eng cuCHb ~ tnQt0s
have changed my mind" Helm
That's only a slight dlniculty.
wasn't counting you as an intellectual
woman, so your mind doesn I enter
into the case. Truth.
THE ENTHUSIASTIC ADmRER-
Really, you have the most beautiful
natural complexion / ever saw in my
life. The Thoughtless Girl with sur
prise why. you have never seen 10.
Steamship Bulletin
~DO YOU believe in second sight"
asked Dumley OF Jack Pott, and the
other answered grim y: ~ saw "a man
with four aces the other night. and 1
shall not try a second sight for some
time. Bottom Commercial
~WHY," she said, as she watched
the tumbling waves come In, do they
call them breakers? 81 cannot tell,
he replied IN solemn tones. ~unt ess
It's because il costs me $3.50 a day to
get near them. Detroit Free Press.
AUNT Amanda hear the Cor
ners is goin' to have free mail de-
livery" Uncle Reuben-~Another OF
them COMPOUNDED citihed notion a.
How's a man Roin' TO hear the news
without goin' down to the postonice2"
Arkansaw Traveller.
CALLER-I suppose, Grace, that
your being chosen valedictorian OF
the class will make considerable study
and preparation necessary. Grace
Oh, no, ind ed. / We left everything
to mother and the dressmaker. Ark
ansaw Traveller.
CorrNTRYMAH to dentist) - II