Waterbury evening Democrat., 1894-10-01
HE WANTED BILL.
Bill Was a Ladies' Man, anL He was Miss
 

walked into the Central station at 10 o'clock the other night.
 The sergeant raised his head and sized the caller up as man on the downward side of life from back township and quietly answercd:
 "Yc*, we listen to shameful as well as other kinds of cases. What have you got to tcll:''
 My hull family has bin shamcfully treated by fellcr named Bill Hoyt, and want him arrested
 Well, what did Bill Hoyt dO?''
 He cum along to my place last May a-scllin wire clothcslines and was tooken sick My wife she tended him as if he had bin her own brother, and I sot up with him anal waited on him as would my own father.
 Il see
 Bill was sick and layin around fur thrc" months, and all the money he ever offered me was $lO. He had chick en soup and cu>t.lr,lS and mashed tatcrs and the best in the house, and 1 told him Il" mr;tln' worry about what he owed. T'utllrr night. when l was milk i'll, Er came out in the barnvard and asked fur tA, hand of my dartpr Mary He'd fell i'll love. he said, and he want Cd to nlurry her right off. =
 ''I Ill ll-tcLing,' said the sergeant as the old man paused,
 ''Waal, he talked so smooth and nice and made SiCh promises that I told him to go ahead. He said he was q leetle short of cash, and lent him $50 to go ahead with. Next day he started fur Detroit to git his clothes and we hain't seen hide nor hair of him since. We've heard of him, though.''
 What did you hear?''
 live got three gals-Mary, Sarah and Jane. The blamed scoundrel was en- gagged to marry all three of 'em." Nor
 True .. you livel There are five other gals i'll the navburhood, and he had three of 'em on the hook as we'll, maxim six gals he was goin to marry. |" He was q hustler, " said the sergeant Yes, he was. Yesterday my wife owned up that he tried to coax her into elopin with him. and the wife of one of my uayburs says he writ her three love lCtt"rS.'
 Well, dcclarer' And We suspect he was also engaged to the sChooltcachcr, in love with two | hired girls and had his plans all laid to ketch q widder. Isn't that a shameful case:''
 ''1 should say it was!' There's sighin and weepin and jaw. in and lamentin fur six miles up and down the road, but Bill Hoyt, he cOmeth not.
 And you want him caught:'' ''Yes; I want you to ketch him. 1 think he's right here in town and en- gagin hisself to different woman every day. If you ketch him, I want to be locked ill a room with him fur about l5 minutes y
 For what reason?'' Eur the reason that I want to take of my coat, spit on my hands and make him speech. want to say to him, Bill Hoyt, durn yer picter, you've go, to produce them $50 you borrowed of me, or I'll hammer ye within an inch of yer lifer' ''But about his lovemaking?' asked the sergeant
 ''"aal, l dunno. Sometimes I kinder | think I Orter lick him fur bustin the hearts of my three gals, and again ] kinder feel sorry fur a poor cross eyed feller who has never known a mothers care. It will sort of depend, guess. "
 Depend on what?' If he hands me over them x3O and about S2 fur my trouble and sorte1 cries and says he's sorry and wishes he hadn' t done it, I'll probably let him of, but, sir-but, sir''--
 But what:'' asked the sergeant as tho old man pounded on the desk with his fist.
 But, sir, I shall give him to en- phatically understand that the next time he asks one of my gals to marry him-one of my gals, sir-the very next time, sir-he's either got to walk up tc the rack or-or"--
 cor what?' "Or I'll hunt him down and take him by the throat and make it cost him at | least S24 to settle the case. Yes, sir, I'll doie, sir, and good night, and ketch him if you kin, sirr'-Detroit Free Press.
 Rheumatism is emPbaticaiiy blood dis order caused by inability of the kidneys tc throw of certain poisons. which accumu late inA the tissues about the joints ant muscles. -
 P.P P. very simple. quickly and surely cures this disease neutralizlng impurities in the blood.
 ABERDEEN. O.. MEYERS DIPPMAs BRos.. Savannah, Ga. DKIR sTh-I bought a bottle of your P P. F. at Hot Springs. Ark, and it has done me mcre good than three months treat ment at the hot Springs. Have you no agents in this part of the country. or let me know how much 1t will cost to get three or six bottles from youl