Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1894-08-02
Let Us All Laugh.

Let Us All Laugh.
! LITTLE DOT-Why do you pray so
loud for things you want? God isn't
deaf. Little Dick-No, but grandpa
is.-Life.
"HARDUP-Hello, Charlie! Your
trousers bag at the knees. Dedbroke
Il wish they hagged at the pocket
! book.-Truth.
BOSTON girl-Do you know, / fancy
heaven will be much like Boston.
Chicago gir.-Why? Because there
won't be men enough to go around
Life.
"GIBBs is great lawyer. His cross
examination always embarrasses a
witness. How does he do it?" asks
If each statement made in direct ex-
animation is true. Truth.
THERE'S friend down stairs
waiting for you; says he wants you
only for minute. Mr. Catchon-
Here, James, take this ten dollars
and keep it until l come back
Fun.
NELLIE-Why do you send outyour
wedding invitations so far in advance?
Millie-Many of our friends keep
their money in savings banks, and
have to give notice. -New York
Weekly.
Mrs. SUBURB-Why in the world
don't you grease that lawn-mower Of
yours? Neighbours Hired Man
The missus told me not to till you
had your piaDer tuned.-New York
Weekly.
Shelf every atom of the human
body is renewed every seven years, |
cannot be the same woman that you
married. He-I've been suspecting
that for some time.-New York
Weekly.
NOTICE Lushley at the banquet
last night2 Seemed to enter into the
spirit of the thing freely" "Er-
yes; but not so freely as the spirits of
the thing entered into him. Buffalo
Courier.
SHE-Here's bill from the doctor.
He-What's it for? Ethel know,
mamma. Doctor spoke cross to me
yesterday on the street, and I stuck
out my tongue at him. -Yonkers
Statesman.
DEACON GRAVELEIGH-DO you be-
lieve ia infant damnation, Mr.. Pop
leigh? Popleigh (who has spent most
of the night doing a ghost dance with
his ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS bet /
do!-Truth.
WHY" asked the boarder at the
head of the table, "are ham and eggs
always associated together" THAT"
remarked the very bad actor, eager
ly, lis just what l would like to
know. "-Detroit Tribune.
NAUGHTY LADY (whO has just pur-
chased a stamp)-"Must / put it on
MYSELF" Postoffice Assistant (vcry
politely)-"Not necessarily, mac am;
it will probably accomplish more if
you put it ON the letter. Newark
| Ledger.
PATRON-Waiter, waiter! can't you
hurry up that steak? I've been wait
ing ten minutes. Waiter-Sorry,
sir; but it takes five minutes to
pound it and seven to cook it. 1t
will be ready shortly -Arkansaw
Traveller.
BoY-It's awful lucky we have our
examinations for promotion now, in
stead of in the fall when the school
opens. Father-Why? Boy-'Cause
when school begins in the fall we
none of us ever know anything.
Good News.
HE-Do you think, darling, that it
would be advisable for me to speak
to your father to-day? She-Well,
hardly. dearest. He remarked this
morning that the fre-crackers you
gave my little brother woke him up
at o'clock.
WILLIs-When my wife makes rae
a present it is sure to be something
that will last. Wallace-My wife is
! just like her. Five years ago she
made me present Of one hundred
| cigars, and / have ninety-nine Of
| them yet.-Life.
WILLIE-Say, papa, can't have a
/! dollar for some more ffre-crackers?
| Slimson-But let you have IS this
| morning. Willie-I know it. But /
used them all up on mammals pet
| dog. Slimson-Here, my boy, take
| SIS more.-Life.
Disadvantages a telegram an
nouncing that my uncle is dead. I've
been expecting it all along. Clever
| ton-How do you know he is dead?
You haven't read it. Dashaway-
No; but if he were alive it would
come collect. "-Brooklyn Life.
A CALLER had mentioned that
neighbor had been obliged to shoot
his dog because he had grown old and
cross. After he had gone, little
Edith, who had been quiet since the
dog was spoken of, surprised her
mother by asking: Mamma, when
do yon think papa will shoot Aunt