The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1893-09-28
COL. DOMAINS UPHEAVAL
He Says the Output Of Silver Is Too
Small to Cut a Figure.
WE'D MEYER MISS 1T IF We LOST IT.
A Thousand MILTON Dollars n Year
Expenditures IL Raising Cain aud
Political Corrnptionists Are Qui.
city Doing the Rest.

Guy DothE tht hest.
Col. Pat Donsn, the noted newspaper
man, lecturer and all-round hustler, east
and west, had talk with a party OF
friends at the national capital the other
day on the conditions that have recently
been agitating the country, and the man.
ner in which he expressed his opinion OF
the situation is both dramatic and inter
esting. Those who know anything abou
Col. Donans picturesque style OF expires
sion will not forego the pleasure OF pc.
rusal OF this last bit Of extravagant elo-
quence. 81 expect no good from this ex-
ira session OF congress" said the colonel,
with a very positive emphasis. "The
man who does is an ass, whose ears
would make umbrella covers for cathe-
dral spires. 1t would he looking for figs
from jimson weeds and brandy peaches
fror, dogfennel bushes. This congress is
just like those whose ignoramus and lu-
matte legislation, for thirty years past, has
caused all our national woes. To hope
for 1t would be to proclaim a marvel IT
faith in the principle that the bite of the
dog is good for the hair
There is scarcely man in either
house who ever originated a Statesman
like measure, uttered statesman-like
sentiment, or conceived a statesman-like
thought. There is hardly one whom an
original idea would not split wide open
from collar bntton to hip pocket. Their
intellectual and political horizon is
bounded by the puny lines OF their state
or section. their party or their purses.
Most OF the n never saw fifty-dolar bill
until they crawled out of their native
brush piles to come here and set up as
caricatures on craftsmanship. They are
generally cheap Office hucksters and self
pushers; and some of them, IL Justice
were not squint-eyed, would be serving
terms in states prisons instead of the
United States senate and house Of repre-
sentativs. Our American congress is a
body most honored by those who know
least about it.
"All OF the talk about silver and the
silver question, in connection with our
gigantic financial ills, seems to me the
babble Of ignorance and folly almost be-
yond the power Of the Almighty himself
to alleviate or enlighten. Silver has lit
tie. il any, more to do with the present
sm ash-up than paving-stones or pigs'-
feet. Silver is but an atom in the vast
aggregate of our continental bustedness,
mere fy-speck on the mighty chart Of
impending disaster.
1.-THE whole population OF the silver
states-Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, Mon
tana. Nevada, New Mexico and Utah, all
combined-is only ,095, 6al, or scarcely
one-sixty-fifth of our grand muster roll.
We could exterminate them-wipe the
last man, woman and child of them from
the face OF the earth--and not know it
three weeks afterward. We import nearly
as many new inhabitants every year.
"Our total silver product last year was
but So ,0O0, 900 ounces. worth to-day about
$3S, 100000. We could dump it all in
some Yellowstone geyser, pension swim
die or other governmental hell-hole, and
never miss it. The hens eggs OF the old
women of the country are of more value
and importance. Compared with our
s25D, 000, 900 cotton crop, our $l50, 900, 900
wheat yield, our corn, hay, coal, iron,
timber or ochre-yellowed oleomargerine
butter, silver is absolutely insignificant
and contemplate. Attempting TO make
it the scapegoat for our financial sins,
follies and miseries, is trying TO pile all
hades and the Rocky mountains on an
infnitesimal mining camp jsckass. The
packsaddle is not big enough by a million
moral-or immoral-leagues. Cleveland's
message and all the fapdoodle of our
sham statesmen to the contrary not
withstanding, silver is puny incident,
and not potential factor in our deep
damnation.
"What, then, is the cause of our
trouble? That is easy to answer. For a
full generation past we have been living
at the pace that kills. Everything has
been run on the high-pressure plan, with
steam up to the bursting point, and a
darby sitting on the safety alive. AS q
government, as a people. and as individ-
uals, we have splurged and plunged in
world-amazing fashion, and all on credit.
Our whole history, public and private,
has been mad-cap story Of rant, riot and
revel. We have squandered thousands
OF millions Of dollars-all borrowed-on
anything, everything and nothing, that
tended to tickle our vanity or increase
our braggadoeious possibilities. No swim
die has been too gigantic, no humbug too
transparent for our greed and folly. With
our war tariff in time Of peace We have
filcbed untold millions on millions from
our own pockets to be wasted in the
widest business and political orgies. We
have given hundreds OF millions Of acres
of our public lands to thievish railroad
corporations. We have lavished hun
dreds of millions of dollars on fraudu-
lent pensions list-si6J, 10000 year
much of 1t to bogus heroes and national
grass widows; enough to our alleged Grip
Piles OF a lifetime ago to maintain all OF
the standing armies Of the old world
enough to pay all the expense Of our gov
eminent, honestly and econom ically adj
ministered.
ave have made the eyes OF all Gods
creation bulge out past its hat rim by
our extravagancies and prohigacies-and
all on credit. We have issued thousands
Of millions Of bonds. state bonds, city
bonds and private eorporational bonds
at exto-iionsts rates Of interest, on
| tvsnsy. thirty y Forty years' time, and