The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-06-29
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.


--iselle-Would you call Blanche o
beauty" Jack-"Not unless thought
she was likley to overhear me. Kate
Fields Washington.
She's engaged to him, isn't she?"
''No; she doesn't put it that way. She
says he's one of her gentlemen in wait
ing. "-Vogue.
Were YOU invited to Mrs. Wimble's
card party?" Yes" did you enjoy
the EVENING"" "Yes." Il don't see
how you could?" 81 sent regrets."-
Inter Ocean.
-Considerate.-M tThumper--'Shall
| play something's Ben Thair-"O,
no. really cannot stay, and wouldn't
have you suspect it was on that ac-
count. Puck
Mrs. Newlywed-"And do you al
ways trust your husband implicitly?'
Mrs. Experienced enthusiastically
Indeed, do! That Isl to say, of course,
to a certain extent. '-Somervill Jour
nal
-Goyerness-''How long is it since
Rome was founded ?' Little Fanny
Rome was founded 2,S4S years ago"
Aged Grandmother-"Dea me, how
time does slip awayr'-Pittsburgh Dis
patch,
I never knew man w no was as
vain over his personal appearance as
Bunkins is" "Humph; well soon cure
him of that" "How?" "We'll ar
range to have his picture printed in the
| newspape rs. "-Washington Star.
--He-''Fn bet that mat has married
a temper" She-"How can you tell?'
He-'By the cautious, timid way he
looks for a dark corner and the edge of
a window frame, and then strikes a
match. "-Pittsburgh Bulletin.
-'Have you noticed that loss of
memory often accom- panies deafness.
mo; does it?" Eyes; deaf men seem to
forget that trains have the right of
way on railway track. "-Grenoble
Monthly.
Ills Speciality. -TIills-"MacShorte
has sold p Dem to Scribblers entitled
ode to Fair Lady" Hulls-"Has
he? Well, he is more competent to
| write verses en- titled Owed to Land
lady. Truth.
IL never can understand, Mr.. Wide
hat, why it is they call your part of the
country the 'Woolly Vest" ut
wouldn't be any mystery, my dear Miss
IIarlembridge, if you knew the num-
Der of Eastern lambs sheared out
there. Troy Press
-MrS. Frontepew-'I don't see why
our pastor should be so continually
urging upon the congregation the ne
cessity of loving one another" Fronte-
pew--"IIumph! Every marriage cere-
mony he performs brings him at least
five dollars buffalo Courier.
-Judge-"You are called to testify
to this mans character for veracity.
What do you know about it?" Witness
well, your honor, he was fishing
one day, and when he came back he.
said he hadn't caught anything, and
that none got away."-N. Y. Press.
Did you win that breach of prom
Use case you conducted?' asked Jarley's
friend. NO" answered the young
lawyer, bitterly. my client insisted
upon appearing in court" "And then?'
"When the jury saw her they brought
in verdict of temporary alteration on
the part of the defendant. Harper
Bazaar.
IF you don't go out of here in a
minute, I'll scald your exclaimed the
wrathful woman of the house to the
persistent peddler. THAT water on
the stove won't be warm for an hour
yet" answered the merchant. 80 you
had better let me sell you one of these
patent automatic tea kettles that heat
water in less than two minutes over a
slow fire. If you had had one of them
should have been scalded, and on my
way to sell something to the red-haired
woman who is attempting to keep house
next door. "-Indianapolis journal.