davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

"WHY does Snagsby keep his hair cut so
won't have it long."-PhiladeIphi Record.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29
The GENERAL MARKETS.

SOMETIMES it is the bank cashier that gets
the best of the rum. Y. World.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29
Loet-An Appetitei

If you have lost your appetite it will re-
turn to you if you apply to druggist or gen.
eral dealer who sells Hostetter's Stomach
helpful tonic, you have restorer of appe-
tite which is unfailing and prompt. More
over, it restores digestion as well as APP
petite, and regulates the bowels, liver and
kidneys, and protects you from malaria and
rheumatism,
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

WHEN a speaker has whole train Of
thought it takes HIM some time 10 unload
Cleveland PlaiLdealer.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

A WOMAN in Ohio has just received her de-
gree as an electrical engineer. She ought,
by mere force of instinct, to know how to
manage the sparks. Baltimore American.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

ONE feature Of cyclone is worthy OF gen
eral imitation; it always does its level BEST.
Lowell Courier.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

WE ought to keep peace with China a.
long as we have q pacific ocean between US
TROY Press.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

ALBERT BuRcH, West Toledo, Ohio, saysf
him for particulars. Sold by Druggists. 75c.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

TIE physician of ''twenty years standing
should have a chance to sit down and rest
awhile.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

THE amateur photographer has a habit OF
taking almost anything except hint.-Som-
aryille journal
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29
When Nature

When Nature
Needs assistance it may be best to render
1t promptly, but one should remember to use
even the most perfect remedies only when
needed The best and most simple and gen.
tie remedy is the Syrup of Figs, manufac-
tured by the California Fig Syrup Co.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

NEW churches built in America LAST
rear numbered nearly 10000.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

How Ny THROAT HURTS why don't you
use Hale's Honey Of Horehound and Tart
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

BEECHAn's PILLS will, in future, for the
United States, be covered with quickly
soluble, pleasant coating 25 cents box.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

CAT least 1 can go down with colors fly
ing,'' said the calciminer when his 1oot
slfpped Washington Star.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

MISS WR1NKLEs-"No, never expect to
marry" Belle-.sBut what If some one
should proposea'-Truth.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

ALL people have a history, but the wise
ones are not in the autobiography business.
Journal.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-09-29

THE running mad dog presents a case OF
rabid transit.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07

Int out and hid IN the storeroom, and
pretty soon heard Pa and Ma come up
stars and go to bed, and then the hired
girls they went to bed, and when it was
all still and the pain had stopped inside
OF my clothes went to bed, and looked
to see what time it was, and it was 2
o'clock in the morning. We got dinner
at s o'clock in the morning, and Pa said
he guessed he would call up the house
after this, so l have lost another job, and
1t was all on account of that bottle of
picked oysters you gave me- My chum
says he had colo, too, but he didn't call
up his folks. 1t was all he could do to
get up hisself. Why don't You some
times give away something that is not
spiled:"
The grocery man said he guessed he
knew what to give away, and the boy
went out and hung up sign in front of
the grocery that he had made on wrap
ping paper with red chalk, which read,
Rotten eggs, good enough for custard
pies, for IS cents dozen"
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07

ana DC haZer ana boxer, re got mad and
squared of and hit Pa rce times right
by the eye, ana one of the Ga.,caAs .icb2l
Pa, and Pa got mad ana said e could
clean out the whole shebang ans; began
to pull off his coat, when they bundled
him out doors, and Ma got mad to see
Pa abused, and she left the sociable. and
| had to stay and eat ice cream and
things for the whole family Pa saws
that settles it with him. He says they
haven't got any more Christian charity
in that church than they have in a tan
merry. His eyes are just getting over he
ing black from the sparring lessons. and
now he has got to 90 through oysters
and beefsteak cure again. He says it is
all owing to me"
well, what has all this got to do with
your putting up signs in front of my
store, Rotten Eggs and 'Frowy Butter
Specialty? said the grocesy man as he
took the boy by the ear and pulled him
around. You have got an idea YOU are
smart, and | want you to keep away
from here. The next time | catch you
in here l shall call the police and have
you pulled. Now gilt"
The boy pulled his ear back on the side
of his head where it belonged, took ont IL
cigarette and lit it, and after putting
smoke in the face of the grocery cat that
was sleeping on the cover to the sugar
barrel he said:
IF | was provision pirate that never
sold anything but what was spoiled so
it couldn't be sold in first class store,
hn oh ~,
who bought only wormy figs and de-
cayed Goldfish, who got his butter from
fat rendering establishment, his cider
from a vinegar factory and his sugar
from glucose factory, | would not in
suit the son of one of the finest families
Why, sir, | could go ont on the corner
and when | saw customers coming here /
could tell story that would turn their
stomachs and send them to the grocery
on the next corner.
Suppose l should tell them that the
cat sleeps in the dried apple barrel, that
the mice made nests in the prune box
and rats rull riot through the raisins, and
that you never wash Your hands except
on Decoration day and Christmas, that
you wipe your nose on your shirt sleeves
and that you have the itch, DO you think
your business would bc improved: Sup
pose | should tell the customers that yea
buy sOuTkraut of a wooden shoed Pc
lacker, who makes it of pieces of cabbage
that he gets by gathering swill and sell
that stuff 70 respectable people, could
you pay your rent: If I should tell them
that You put lozensers in the collection
plate at church and charge the minister
20 cents pound for oleomargarine, yoJ
would have to close up. Old man, am
onto You, and now you apologize for
pulling my ear"
The grocery man turned pale during
the recital and finally said the bad boy
was one Of the best little fellows in this
town, and the boy went out and hung up
sign in front:
.''''''''"''' -'''' '''''''-'.'.'..
GIRL WANTED
40 COOK.
.'''''''.'..'.........,. ...-.-...--..........
90 be c'nlinuei.)
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07

something of by anybody that wears
pants, and when Pa sided up to her and
began talking about what a great work
the Christian wimmen of the land We're
doing in educating the heather she felt
real good, and then shenoticed Pas posy
in his buttonhole, and she touched it,
and then she reached over her beak to
smell of it.
''Pa he squeezed the bulb, and about
half teacupful of water struck her
right in the nose, and some went into
her strangle place, and, oh, my, didn't
she yell. The sisters gathered around
her, and they said her face was all COW
cred with perspiration and the paint was
coming off. and they took her in the
kitchen, and she told them Pa had slapped
her with dish of ice cream, and the
wimmen told the minister and the dea-
cons, and they went to Pa for an expla-
nation, and Pa told them it was not so,
and the minister got interested and got
near Pa, and Pa let the water go at him
and hit him on the eye, and then dea-
con got dose, and Pa laughed, and then
the minister. who used to go to college
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
lEMERIcRE PREss lss0GRTI0N7

and coal las night, 50 1e could draw the
stove up tC the bed and light the fire
without getting M. Ma told him he
would put lis foot in it, and he told her
to dry up and let him run the stove biz
ness. He 5; ii il took a man with brain
TO run pat ent right, and Ma she pulled
the clothes over her head and let Pa do
the fire act. She has been building the
hres for 20 Years and thought she would
let Pa see now good it was. Well, Pa
pulled the s-ove to the bed and touched
off the kind ing wood. guess maybe
got bundle of kindling wood that the
hired girl had put kerosene on. cause it
biazed up awful and smoked. and the
blaze bUrstod ont the doors and windows
Of the stove, and Pa yelled fire. and |
jumped out of bed ana rushed in, and he
was the scartest man you ever see, and
you'd dieG to see how he kicked when
threw a pail Of water on his legs and
pat his shir out.
Ma did not get burnt. but she was
pretty wet, and she told Pa she would
pay the - royalty on that stove and take
the casturs pff and let it remain station
airy. Pa says he will make it work if he
burns the house down. | think it was
real mean in Pa to get mad at me
cause | threw cold water on him instead
OF warm water to put his shirt out. If
| had waited till | could heat water to
the right temperature. would have been
an orphan, and Pa would have been a
burnt offering. But some men ALWAYS
kick at everything. Pa has given up
bizness entirely and says he shall de-
vote the remainder of his life curing him
self of the different troubles that get
him into. he has retained q doctor by
the year, and he buys Hniment by the
gallon"
Nv hat WAS 1t about Your folks getting
MP IN ,hc middle Of the night TO eat. The
hired ..Ili Was over here after some soap
the otter Il Cruiug and she said she was
gong g." leave Your house"
w I'll. that was a picnic Pa said he
wanted breakfast earlier than we was in
the habit IF having it. and he sand |
might STE u 1t that the house was awake
| early enough. The other night | awoke
with the awfulest pain You ever heard Of
1t was that night you gave me and my
chum the bottle Of picked oysters that
had begun to work. Well, l couldn' t
sleep, and | thought | would call the
hired girls, and they got up and got
| breakfast To going, and then raped on
Pa and Mas door and told them TIE
breakfast was getting cold, and they got
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
MR.. E. vANDENBURGH.

DEAR DoCToR-For years | was
in the employ of the Rock Island
Plow company. | now live in LYONS,
Iowa. l should have sent my state
ment months ago, but l waited to see
If ! remained CURED.
l had not been feeling well for s,me years.
l had Inc grip several times and it brought on
cough, headache and throat, aud chilIs and
fever. took lot Of quinine and different pat
eut medicines with only temporary relief. At
times would cough until the tears would 70 !
down my face and would vOmit l was continU-
ally splitting and hawking my throat was nearly
always sore, and l would have chills and high
fever anu pains through my chest. / got so weak
from night swcats that could scarcely stand my
clothes being frequently wringing wet in the
morning. After working / was so exhausted
uld scarcely a. and what did would not stay
IN my stomach l have doCtored with sew
eral well known doctors, but | found no relief
until visited the Scott Medical Institute, and
now | am CURE D. One day while walking
along the street | met friend who asked my
trouble aid told him. He told me that he was
feeling the same way before taking treatment,
but he had doctored with DR.. Wilson OF Scott
Medical Institute and was cured, and advised
me TO take treatment. / did not think could
ever be cured, but thanks to you, doctor, for now
am entirely GU R-E-D and feel much better
than ever did before.
So per month for all diseases. Med
icines furnished free.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
CHAPTER XIX.
MS An INVENTOR.

HIS Pa AN INVENTOR.
% l., Now | have got YOU" said
49, .arv man to the bad boy the other
-...., ne came in and jumped upon
.'. ..--.~ and tied the end of ball of
~. .,. tail of q dog and sicked the
mother dog that was following
. .rH.h. causing the Irvine to pay
.- tine whole ball was scattered
oh. block. Condemn you, I've a
49, F.. choke the liver out of you.
I'D rlat Irvine to the dogs tail:'
r.r .holicd up with emotion, and
,-- came into his eyes, and he said
r1-'- know anything about the Irvine
... 1ar. He said he noticed the dog
in and wag his tail around the
..r. Int he supposed the dog was a
.rr ,s the family and did not disturb
I~ Everybody lays everything that
Ira To- me. said the boy as he put
,arlkarchicf to his nose, and they
'nhs sorry for it when l die. l have
VI notion to poison myself by eating
,~.as YOUR glucose sugar.
W., and Won DO about everything
i. mean. The other day a lady came
AMI roll me to send up to her house
mo If INV country sausage done up i'll
r..u bags. and while she was examin-
. she noticed something hard inside
blr, and asked me what 1t was, and
,-sgel II. and l hope to die if there
,.rra little brass paddock and piece
-s! morocco dog collar imbedded in
sausage. Now. how do you suppose
I-.--.t5n there" And the grocery man
81. savage
Til. los looked interested and put on
EXPRESSION MS of deep thought and
-.-. said: u suppose the farmer that
,--r- .ae sausage Gld not strain the
-t.a. Sausage meat ought TO be
s-
i. grocery man pulled i'm about half
I, -..su. twin. after the dog had run
--- q fence and broke il and told the
b. knew PERFECTLY well how the
b., paddock came 70 boz III the sausage,
IF thinking It was safer TO have the
! ... WI. %. the boy than the Ill viii he
Il -.I him d handful of prunes.
"N.. said the boy. L have swore off
b. lu.!y prunes. am no kindergarten
azv more. For years l have eaten rot
b. peaches around this store and every
tan you couldn't sell, but have turned
t7-aUew Leaf now, and atler this moth
T. IS Too good for ne. Since Pa has got
b. az inventor We are going to live
L.a
What, Your Pa invented: | saw Il
laG,~ and three hacks 90 mp on your
E.Ts. the other day. and | thought may
y.g had killed yuur Pa"
"N.- much Ta.ao viii be more than
l hack, when / xiii Pa, and don't YOU
" j. Well sir, Pa has struck for
e.. 8. boz can make ,n" thing work. He
al lg.a about coal stoves that
b. .-a- him. several million dollars il
-- royalty Is - ON every cook
q. .n u0r.. Hi, idea Is to have a
d. F- .l.u-rUg-. with the pipe made
..Hl D. Our and in and rubber hose
Oh. JOINT. -0 You can pull the stove
around the room and warm any par
GUAR place. Well, sir, 10 hear Pa tell
2tl, II You would think it would revo-
": ME the country, and maybe it will
k=sA IL gets II perfected, but he came
e. burning the house up and scared US
faH to death this morning and burned
& :alrt of, and he is all covered with
;".n with sweet oil on, and he smells
Ls salad dressing.
lou see, Pa had a pipe made and
.-e castors put on our coal stove, and
,.@4 a rope to the hearth of tho stove
y. laa NE put in some kindling wood
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07

Centaur Company II Murray Street, New York City.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
What is
2!:E7sl; ORA :

astoria is DR.. Samuel Pitchers prescription Infants
Children. contains neither Opium, Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance 1t is harmless substitute
for Parcgoric Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor OIL
1t is Pleasant Its guarantee is thirty years by
Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and aays
feverishness Castora prevents vomiting Sour Curd,
DiarrhOea and Wind Collie. Castoria relieves
teething troubles, constipation and fatuency.
CastOria assmilateS the food regulates the stomach
and bowels giving healthy and natural Sleep Cas-.
tora is the Chdrens Panacea-the Mothers Friend.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
CaStoria.

"Castoria is an excellent medicine for chill
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told me OF its
good effect upon their children"
DR.. G. c. OsGooD,
Lowell, Mass.
"Castoria is the best remedy for children of
which en- acquainted. l hope the day is not
far distant when mothers will consider the real
interest of their children, and use Castoria in
stead OF the variousquack nostrums which are
destroying their loved ones, by forcing opium,
morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful
agents down their Threats, thereby sending
them to premature graves"
DR.. ]. f. kISCHEy.oE,
Conway, Ark.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07

PA WilCd ire
up and came down. we eat breakfast
by gashght, and Pa yawned and said it
made a man feel good to get up and get
ready for work before daylight-the way
he used to ON the farmland Ma she
yawned and agreed with Pa, cause she
has to or have row. After breakfast
we sat around for an hour, and Pa said
it was long time getting daylight, and
bimeby Pa looked at his watch.
when he began to null out his watch.
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
Davenport, Iowa.

Davenport, Iowa.
Il was cured Of catarrh and incipient consump-
ton in one mon h al Scott Medical Institute A
number OF physicians said must die. Thanks TO
DIR. Wilson am today well and was cured by the
physicians Of the Scott Medical Institute over
two wears ago. -
Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-10-07
CaStOria.

"Castoria is so well adapted to children thas
recommend it as superior to any prescription
known TO me-
n. A. ARCHER, NJ. D.,
III So. Oxford St, Brooklyn, N. Y.
"Our physicians in the children's depart
Inent have spoken highly of their expert
ence in their outside practice with Castoria,
and although we only have among our
medical supplies what is known as regular
products, yet we are free to confess that the
merits of Castoria has won US to look with
favor upon it,"
UNITED HOSPITAL AMI DIsPENsARY,
Boston, Masa.
ALLEN c. SMITH, Pres,
urJ.ay Street, New York CITY.
Arizona republican., 1893-07-02
STANFORD'S WILL.
His Widow Is Made Sole Execu-
 trix.
The University and Relatives of tho Dead Millionaire Handsomely
 Remembered.

SAN FRANCIsco, July l.-[Associated Press. l-The will of the late Senator Leland Stanford was filed for probate late this afternoon. His wife, Jane Stanford, is named ss sole executrix and she petitions for the probate of the will. Her petition states that the value of the estate is unknown, but thst it consists of stocks, bonds and real prop. erty in this state. The will is a very lengthy document. Stanford leaves s2,500, GOO to the trustees of Leland Stan- ford, Jr. University of Palo Alto. {; $30O, 900 to his brother. Thomas Well ton Stanford and $l00, 900 each to his other two brothers, Josiah and A. P. Stanford.
 His residence and furniture thereof in this city, he left to his wife and he set apart sl00, ,000 for the erection of a tomb for the remains of himself, his wife and his son. Each of his nephews and nieces, of whom there are a num- Der, receive Sl00.000. His wife is made the residuary legatee. The instrument was originally dated November %, 1886, but 8 number of codicils have been added since some of the legatees have died since the will was drawn.
Arizona republican., 1893-07-02
West End School,

Fourth Grade, J. D. James; Third Grade, Miss Grace Perley; Second Grade, Miss Edith Edmunds; First Grade, Miss Mamie GarIick.
 The salaries are, for principal $l25 per month; assistant principals $85 fourth grade teachers in the East and West End Schools $s5; first grade in all schools $80, and all other teachers $75.
 Those who have been selected are re- uuesteo to notify the county superin. tendent at once, whether they will ac. Cept or decline. It was decided to hold an eight months session. beginning about Sept. l5.
 Of the new teachers, Mr. Ralph Lee, who has been chosen to fiii a new. ly created of assistant principal, is a finished scholar. He was graduated from Trinity College, Dubiin and ha9 travelled extensively. For some years he held a post in the British civil service at Bombay More recently he has been teaching at Fort Huschuca this territory.
 Miss Desmond, also one of the acces. sions, is sister of Mrs. c. D, Baker of this city and is prominent in education. al affairs at Los Angeles.
Arizona republican., 1893-07-02
CINDERELLA ABROAD.
They Don't Expect to Find Her in Paris,
 Though.

They Don't Expect to Find Her fin Paris,
 Though.
 A new sort of Cinderella competition, says the London Post, has been started by French paper in search of a sensa- tion. A shoe nineteen and one-half centimeters Seven and four-ffths inches) long has been specially made and the lady who succeeds in putting it on will receive handsome present of plate, and will have her fame car ried throughout the length and breadth of France. The notion is said to be a Yankee one(D Experts are of opinion that the woman does not eXist-in Flu rope, at all events, for it is necessary to exclude China in competition of this kind-whO will be able to fulfill the required condition. The lady who has been for many years at the head of the ladies boots department at one of the Paris universal providers declares that in all her experience she has never seen wOman's foot only seven and fOur-ffths inches long. The aver age length is twenty-five centimeters to twenty-five and one"half centime- ters (ten inches to ten and one-fifth inches). Oddly enough, it is found that courtry girls have feet just as small as those of their sisters in town, although it is true the latter are more cunning in choosing boots that make the foot look small.
Arizona republican., 1893-07-02
UP IN A MiNARET.
View from the Highest Point In n Turk
 jsh Town.

Ish Town.
 Entrance to the mosques is rarely re- fused to Christians except on festivals, and it is to the top of the highest mina- ret in the town that we are bound. The narrow spiral staircase affords no more than head-and-shoulder room; the steps are foul with summer-blown dust, with bones brought in by owls and kites, be- sides other venerable rubbish; and, after what seems interminable gyra- ton, we emerge upon the airy gallery which encircles the top of the slender tower.
 It is a crazy perch, for the whole structure sways sensibly in the strong wind, and it seems as if moderate kick would send the frail parapet clat- tering down on the tile roof far below but, if your head IS steady, the view well repays the labor of the ascent. Be- heath your feet cluster the fiat-roofed houses; here and there chimney rises crowned with an immense stork's nest making one wonder how the domestic economy of the bipeds within the house can be reconciled with that of the bi- peds without
 From the dusky labyrinth of streets spring twenty-six minarets, like sill very bodkins, besides the one to which we are clinging. Then let your eye travel over the splendid prospect lying beyond the town. Full forty miles the fat plain is spread east and west, and fve-andtwenty north and south, with hardly a tree to break the level, save where the peasants cots cluster round the fortified granges of the land own CTS. The northern horizon is closed by the massive rampant of mountains which marks the latest shrinkage of Ottoman rule. le.--Blackwood's Magazine