Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-12-24

| 'At least two OF their near relatives
have been the principal actors In events
that have been described at great
| length in the newspapers, events which,
unhappily, don't you know, resulted In
the untimely death OF both gentlemen.
So you see that your guests are not
ordinary people by any means, don't
you understand, even il your welcome
| has a lack OF warmth about it hardly
appropriate for such day OF rejoicing
and loving kindness as to-day"
"Well-weIl. bah Jove!" gasped Mr.
| Girard.
Leave US Instantly" cried Mr.. Van
TasSel. He attempted to rise from his
chair as he spoke, but Jones Smith, who
stood behind him, pressed the cold muz-
zle of a revolver 10 the back OF his head,
and he sat down again precipitately.
please do not move, Cornelius"
pleaded Mrs. Van Tassel, beginning TO
shed tears, 'or these horrid-these gen.
tlemen will kill your
"Yes, Cornelius; please remain in
your chair, for whenever you move like
that am in mortal terror, don't you
see. lest q revolver somewhere should
/ go off and hurt you, don't you know,
| said II. Brown Jones. ''tor fear, how
ever, he may be indiscreet, secure him
to this chair" the burglar added, ad-
dressing his companions.
"B-bah- bah Jove! Deuced shame"
cried Mr.. Girard
The two scions of famous BowerY
families not only obeyed their leaders
instructions, bat they also bound Mrs.
Van Tassel, Mr. and Mrs. Girard and
Mr.. and Mrs. Cowles firmly TO the
chairs in which they sat. The gentle
men murmured loudly against this In
dignity to their wives, but the cold steel
of three revolvers was al argument
that they were powerless against.
1t was 10 vain that Mr.. Glrard pro-
tested with numerous bah Joves,
and finally in despair he vigorously
| jammed mis- monocle into bis right eye,
knowing that he would soon be unable
to adjust it. The arms and legs Of the
men were securely fastened, but the
ladies were simply bound to their seats
bv the arms. The burglars sccom-
plished their task in as gentle and polite
a manner as possible and not one Of
the captives was really suffering physi-
cally.
There's another member Of the noted
Smith family in the House continued
Mr.. II. Brown Jones, "but regret TO
say that az present be is busily engaged
In sitting on your negro chef, who will
insist upon rolling about and endeavor-
ing to release himself from bondage
and in keeping an eye, don't you see. on
your maid. As soon, however, as he
gets the chef securely corralled be-
tween the legs OF your big refrigerator,
don't you know, he may favor US with
his company"
'Well, what do You want?" demanded
Mr.. Van Tassel. why don't you take
what we have and get out and allow my
guests to enjoy their dinner?
81 will attend to everything In good
time, Cornelius, but the heavy move
ment in silver, don't you know, cannot
take place yet very well, for the reason
that the silver is ell In use. That beau
tiiul solid silver soup tnreen must be
emptied, for instance, don't You see, and
il hunger is gDawing at your yitals sup
pose we begin operations.
II see covers are only laid for six, but
that need not embarrass you. My Bow
cry friends will assist you In moving
closer together, so that there will be
room for us at your hoSptable table.
All, that is just the thing. There's room
and TO spare. Now the surplus dining
room chairs. Well done, my friends. !"
ASH be gave utterance to these approx.
Ing words, Mr.. I. Brown Jones took
his seat at the head OF the table beside
Mr.. Van Tassel, deposited his revolyers
on one of the lace dolies. spread q
napkin across his lap and drew Mr..
Van Tassel's yellow chrystanthemum
through his buttonhole.
"My favorite flower-slnce it has
been a society fad" he said simply.
"Now, Mrs. Van Tassell, do me the
kindness to ring for your maid. Three
more covers. you know, for us, aud
dinner served for nine instead OF six, T"
the burglar added, carlessly lifting one
Of his revolyers so that IL was leveled
In the direction Of the fearful hostess.
"Wen bah iOve," calculated Mr..
| Glrard, as the full force OF audacious
| Mr.. Jones' intentions dawned upon him.
| His face suddenly expanded into such
a look OF ast0nishmeut that his faithful
monocle, which had remained where
! he had put it all through The binding
ordeal as though glued TO the spot, fell
from his eye as If It, too, had been
overcome by amazement.
"Aliow me-" said T. Brown Jones,
as he politely caught up the mOnOcle
1 -. q Int -
| Girard was so surprised at this act that
be forgot to contract his eyebrow In
time, and the erratic glass again shot
down the length Of its gold chain.
| But Mr. Jones was not at all dis
couraged, for he promptly attempted
\ the feat once more. This time Mr..
! Girard lifted his right eyebrow at least
a half an inch as be saw the monocle
coming, closed down upon It as Mr..
| Jones cried "Nowr' and success crown
| ed the joint undertaking.
Meantime the other two burglars had
| followed the example Of thelr chief,
and each was seated beside one Of the
| male guests, with chrysanthemums
brushing the black masks that covered
their faces. They lacked the ease Of
/ Mr. L. Brown Jones, and by several
awkward moves confirmed the correct
ness of their leaders statements con-
corning their Bowery ancestry. They
also watched Jones narrowly through
| the eyeholes In their somOer masks and
promptly initiated him 10 everything
he did at the table.
Meantime, too, Mrs. Van Tsssel had
pressed her trembling foot 10 the
electric bell and summoned Betty. She
had been wondering in dazed sort Of
way what had become Of the maid and
was hoping that she had either rung
the messenger call for the police or
had escaped from the house and per-
sonally sought aid.
This hope was dispelled By the
prompt appearance Of Betty a. the
I door Sha YES MALE and rambling and