Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1893-01-04
MISTAKEN POLlTENESS.

Is there any one who has not suHer-
ed from the mistaken politeness of
friends and neighbors? How many
times have host and guest sat matyr-
like till late in the evening, making
heroic efforts to be agreeable, because
each feared the other would think it
rude if he expressed wish to retire !
Most of US, too, have been visited in
affliction by neighbors for whom we
care nothing, and who care nothing
for us, but come because they thought
it would not be polite to stay away.
A young minister, not long ago, spent
a Sunday with strangers. After the
evening service he said to a friend:
"My preaching tonight was failure,
and I'll tell you why. The morning
service always exhausts me, and am
in the habit of taking nap in the
afternoon then feel fresh and bright
at night. But the people with whom
I am staying devoted themselves to
entertaining me this afternoon, and /
thought it would not be polite to ex-
cuse myself So l managed to keep
awake and appear interested, but my
evening services had to suffer the con-
sequence"
The friend CHANGING next day to meet
the young minister's hostess, made
some refrence to him.
"O," said the lady, 1--WE liked him
very much except for one thing. He
stayed down stairs all the afternoon,
and seemed to enjoy being entertained
so we'll that we felt it would be rude
to leave him; and 1 confess got COM
pletely tired out"
What mistaken politeness was this
on both sides! Every true Christian
/ is willing to deny himself even in little
| things for tho happiness Of others, but
when two people deny themselves, and
succeed in making each other misera-
BILE, the absurdity of the so-called po-
liteness is apparent. And yet few of
us are wholly guiltless in the matter.
Politeness is a desire to please others,
and to avoid whatever may be disa-
greeable to them. 1t isn't always
easy to know what will please another,
especially one who is comparative
stanger, and the only solution of the
difficulty is in simple frankness. Let
the host say to his guest: ~ think you
must be tired, and I hope you will feel
at liberty to 60 to your room at any
time, though, of course have no de-
sire to hurry YOU" Certainly no one
would stay after that unless he really
was enjoying himself, in which case
the true host would be quite willing to
put aside his own preference in regard
to retiring.
Oftentimes host invites his guest
to visit the manufactories.of the place
or to 20 on some excursion, because ne
thinks his friend would wish to 60,
when in reality it is an umitigated
bore to both. How much better for
him to say: "Now there are such
and such things which we might do,
but have no wish in the matter ex-
cept your pleasure. If you wouldn't
enjoy them don't hesitate to say so,
and l should be delighted if you would
suggest something else." This would
preclude all danger of obliging him
to do what was distasteful to him.
If children, from the first, were
trained to frankness mot the so called
bluntness which causes people to say
and do most disagreeable things, but
the frankness which answers friends
and acquaintances just as they would
like to be answered), then they would
seldom make themselves and others
uncomfortable through mistaken po-
liteness. ess.--Congregationalist.