The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1893-07-05
Fogsarty tries patent ear drums.


"By Gum! That's just the thing
l have been looking for.
"What is it John dear, what
have you found?
Gle reads of a wonderful inven-
ton for the deaf. No more need
of man going through life with
far away look in his eye and
useing his hand for an ear trumpet.
The greatest invention of the age;
the same to the ears that glasses
are to the eyes; patent ear drums;
they can be worn at all times and
places without the least inconvein-
lance and with the grandest re-
suit; can hear whisper two rods
away with them just as well as
man can that has good ears, they
can be had cheap too, only ten
dollars.
: "But John dear, do you suppose
they will do you any good?
"Good! Why woman are you
crazy, don't they say that they will
make the deafest man hear?
Poor Mrs. F., demonstrated feeb-
ly, said something about the little
girls needing some new shoes and
spring hats; but no he was deaf
and have the patent ears he would,
so he sent for them and in due time
they came. Foggerty got them out
of the Office in the middle of the
afternoon and was so pleased with
the prospect that he left business
two hours earlier to 60 home and
try his "treasures on" as he called
it. He emparched the little box in
nervous haste while the little wife
and children stood by.
Mrs. F., remarked that the things
were very little to cost so much
money.
"You didn't suppose that they
would be shipped by freight and
be sent home in a moving car did
you? They are to 60 into my ears
I'd have you know.
"Very will dear when will you
put them in?
"Now the sooner the quicker,
but stay, here are some directions
drop a few drops of inclosed
medicine into the ear, in order
that the drums will give better
results. How am 1 to do that ]
would like to know? If it said to
put it on the outside l might dc
that but l can't put the stuff into
my ear, l guess l don't need it any.
way.
"But dear, could / not drop the
mixture in for you?
"Of course you could but be
quick about it.
Mrs. F., takes the bottle, Fog
gerty turns his head to one side
and complains that she is slow
the first ear is duly served and
Foggerty prepars to give the Other
one dose, but finds that the
medicine runs out of the ear that
has been doctored, so insists or
haste Mrs. F., endevors to CRAFTY
him but fills his ear full to over
flowing. O shades of night draw
a curtain over the scene that fol
lowed; Foggerty sprang from his
chair with yell that would have
put an Apache Indian to shame
he children sought safety il
flight, while the meek and very
helpful little wife said at is too
bad, 1 did not intend to put 81
much in, sit down and let me tr!
again, I am sure I can drop just ,
lew drops"
"Sit down, put more in? Wei
not much, l have had plent,
thank you, you don't suppose m!
lead is as empty as gourd do
YOU?
81 don't know l am sure, are yol
through with me now.
ayes and you may retire, ext
as it were, and be quick about i
700. She is only too glad to com
ply with his gracious request, a
she felt that she could enjoy tn,
scene that she had just witnessed
alone, or at least out of dea
John's9 sight; as she passed tn,
children she heard one of then
remark, any didn't Pop cut {
shine though 1 mean to stay ant
watch him through"
After his little helpemate retired
, Foggerty takes up the directions
] and reads them carefully; TAX,
the little forceps, catch the drum
thus, and so, and insert into thu
/. ear push them up so far and lister
: occasionly to see If you have then
properly adjusted, do not be dis