Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-06-18
ANXIOUSF0R HIS HAT
AN UNFAIR EXCHANGE AND REMARKS
CAUSE UNhApPlNeSs.
Beys Riding on the Back Of . ssa-Tssss-
plea Puiaski-Couoty Fair-Osssr.
vatioos OF tho Lanky Scribe.

could nave Deen trhnsportco hisooi soN
have witnessed what has occurred IN Rich
mond lately he would not feel that bis
labors had ceased TO be appreciated. or
that his fame had withered and died. For
more than a year his familiar lines had
hardly been iterated by either local or so
iourning artists until tew days ago,
when they burst upon the community Ike
a meteor and were resounded from Man.
chester, beyond the James, TO Chestnut
Hill and Barton Heights, beyond "the
Shockoe." and from the praIie-like Sec
ton known as Lee District" to the ex-
treme east of Fulton. where Henricos
hills bump up against one another ana re,
vertebrate the murmurings OF the placid
waters below. The cause OF this tumultu-
Gus outburst of enthusiasm tor the afore-
said author is obvious.
But all this has nothing in the world to
do with what | started to say. All men,
of course, wear hats Alas. 'tis sad re-
fiection. Women do. alsc. Not only can
this be said of the gentle creatures. but
they manage to utilize large numbers OF
them. TO say nothing whatever OF the SIG
bonnets, which are only used on state"
occasions. This Is still sadder reflection!
So sum IL no. and the grand total / re-
ceive is that this feature OF dress gives the
human race more trouble than any other.
'Tis said many citizens OF this quaint
and historic old town are decidedly in IA.
yor of abolshing forever any form OF
headgear One especially prominent
among these is a gentleman. than whom
no one in Richmond IA more dignihed or
receives more respect, who has reached
such an opinion after having been sorely
tried. While the Council committee on
investigation was In session on tuesday
n,tfe NJ
some of the witnesses "a TO who received
beavers on tho recent trip North, who
gave them, why they were given and at
what hour, and whether they We're tho
make of Dunlap or Melville or Knox the
person to whom l refer was silent
auditor. He WAS enjoying delight
full Havana and the effects OF the
never wears q hat that costs less than
V. and he little dreamed that his Stetson
or Youman, or whatever 1t was. was un-
safe when no laid 1t down and threw him.
self comfortably in On easy chair prepafa-
tory to taking in" the testimony OF
those who were TO go under the hre."
No man in the room took greater interest
in the proceedings than my friend; he IS
nv friend, and therefore SO designate
him. | glanced at HIM every nov and
then and his countenance manifested
thorough satisfaction. l remarked TO my
self as frequently do when thirsty and
without requisite cash with which TO pur-
chase cup of chocolate III summer
time, that this spectator was one among
the disinterested present who was taxing
neither the one side nor the other. but
drinking in tho whole. At the close he
rushed over to where be had left hls DERBY
and cane. The latter he found. but the
former was missing.
/ A aillgent search all through the Coun-
/ cll chamber failed to disclose the desired
article. Over on the desk of one OF tho
councilmen was dilapidated, discolored.
! dust -begrimed hat, which bore no indlca-
/ ton as to the identity of Its owner. My
/ trend, after expendIng some ten minutes
/ in swearing according to note, slapped the
old hat Oh his head. and went home. Next
morning. he saw how tougn.looklng the
exchanged piece OF head-gear was. and he
refused TO wear it downtown. He had to
90 about his business. and what 70 do
about a hat. he did not know. Finally .
thought struck him. He picked up nat
! belonging to his lG-year-old son. IL was
about three sizes two small for him. and
i'm style went back several years. but this
did not daunt the determlned wearer
Into the street he bolted. with his little
Derby percned on the summit of h's era
mum. but he had not gone tar until his
heart sank within him. The eyes OF oyery.
body he passed were upon him, ond all
sorts of uncbaritable remarks were made
about his headgear. lie struggled bravely
on, however. Notwithstanding the interro-
pations as TO Where he got II y
and those similar 90 that. Reach
ING his Office he called tor DIS
pAIcu reporter end said he wished
the scribe would put an article IN the
paper asking the man who walked away
with his hat TO return 1t 20 the Council
chamber. but for the Lords sake TO give
no names. At last accounts my friend 8
condition was unimproved and the public
were no more relentIng than on the morn
ing following the meeting referred TO OF
the investigating committee MY friend
wished 1t stated that his hat was not
beaver.
At recent meeting of tho Council and
! Iee-C amp committees TO arrange Tor the
reinterment of the remains OF ex-Prest-
dent Davis it was learned that after the
settlement of all the bills there would be
q balance of 50 cents TO the credit OF the
committees. Just what should be done
with this enormous sum appeared To great:
ly perplex those present. Some one SAID
the committees should 20 out and nave Z
good time. Mr.. Vaughan remarked that
they might go North and get beavers,
while Mr. Ferriter added tnache already had
a beaver. but would abide by any dect~ n
on the part of the committees. VI course
these gentlemen we're only JestinS, as the
residue will remain in the hands OF the
City Treasurer.
have ridden upon everything from
sore back mule TO an elephant. from
hand-car TO one of the finely equipped
"Fast-Flying Virernian trains OF tns
Chesapeake and Ohio railway; have had
passages on ferry-boats. steamboats,, gun
boats. and row-boats: but l never until
Thursday afternoon knew of any Object
which dwells within the seas beng put K
locomotive uses as far as the human
race IS concerned. l was walking dowr
! Eighth street. giving no thought u
: self ut all, and but little to anything else
when my attention was attracted TO
!. large crowd on the east side OF Stumpft
place. corner OF Main and Eighth Streets
1t was u congregation OF urchins and the!
were having big time time over some
thing. Such jostling, pashire. and twist
, ing [ never saw. even IN negro hepuDii
can convention. Az Ineared the spot wher'
the young American" congregation wa
I | could detect the figure OF boy In tn
centre of the crowd. IL was movin!
. along like drunken man on the icy pave
) ments of Washington on Inauguration
{ Day. reached the spot and looked owe
3 the heads Of the urchins TO see what wa
going on. 10 my prorounu astonishmeu
] observed that one OF the lads was ridinI
; down the gutter on the back OF larg
5 sea-terrapin. aud all the other boys wer
D delighted with the incident. rs each one Il
l turn was taking his ride.
One of the best-known and most uni
, versally popular printers IN town Is Franl
!. LYON. Frank works on the DISPATCH an,
is a jovial. big-hesrted fellow who
always into innocent mischief He cam
here from Pulaski county and has greatl
8 improved in dialect and appesranc
y since he first shook the "hay-seed
5 from his locks and donned o cit
: air. Several years ago, when Fran
4 was O youth. a county far was held st hi
d home. OF course he must go. But ho'
y could he when he did not have the requ
i site amount to get ticket? All, onl
Q such brain as Frank Cor an
4 other l5-year-old urchin) possessed coul
: have devised plan. Frank siippe
/ around tho fairgrounds TO Q poin
b where he thought he would be ul
!, observed, and-over the fence 3
t went. But lol that was sad thing fo
:. Frank. for along came o big official. wb
n hustled him out IN Just the Same manne