The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-30
4 TROUBLESOME TOOTH.
BY

ueClhIt, joel / your ucdu hetIs
on gettin' much bigger youll hev to
wear a peck measure stead of a hat!
Mrs. T%ottcnham turned from the sink,
where she was peeling potatoes, and
looked pityingly at her husband. Josiah
sat near the kitchen stove, holding his
head sidewisc to the heat, with a most
dolorous expression on his swollen face.
"Why don't y go and hev it hauled?"
continued Mrs. Tottcnham, as Josiah sat
groaning and swaying in the old calico
cushioned rocking chair. "Sccms TO me
4 was "A man | wouldn't set and suffer
as you be 4 there was n pair o piDChcrs
and "A doctor anywhere within ten miles.
Sakes alive! how you be- IA squirmin'!
Hev it out, | say. IIain't y got the
curridge2"
Josiah Tottcnham looked up %piteously,
twisting his long, lank body in the
rockingham until his stiff and swollen
face squarcly frontcd his wife. 81
daresn'tl" he groaned. "Lord it jumps
wus'n "A grasshopper ev'ry time | think
ont. | couldn't bear to hay no pinchers
scrunched into them tender gums. Oh,
Lord! Oh, Lord Ugh-h.h-hw
With "A long, signing groan Josiah
Tottenham dropped over the stove and
stared blankly at the teakcttlc before
him. Mrs. Tottenham stood in perpleXed
thought for q moment Then n definite
line of argument seemed to suggest itself
to her, and she broke out, with apparent
~irrelevancy:
"Josi', do you remember the time you
cat the Durham bulls taill"
Josiah groaned aflirmativcly.
Glow he started off on the Jump m
snaked " all round the barnyard, n
Slowed y int the fence N dragged v on
yer back, but y never let go-just hung
Oh like "A plarstcr-'n' finally got yer
knife to the right spot n sliced the crit
ter's tail jest where v wanted tor
For n moment Josiah forgot his trouble
some tooth under the spell of his wife's
vivid narration Of n aforementioned
triumph. lie even attempted to smile,
but the twinge of pain hat shot through
his nerves brought him back to the
dolcful present and no gronned aloud.
IL seq to myself that day" continued
Mrs. Tottcnham, automatically, there's
mighty few men en- compare with JOSH
Tottenham for pure grit She turned to
the pan of potatoes aud worked in silence
for a minute, then resumed
"Membcr the time y kotchcd "A tramp
asleep in the lower barn last spring n
hauled him out 10y the coat m ducked
him in the troughl"
Josiah nodded. 1t was pleasant to be
entertained with "reminiscences of ones
personal prowess, even though the pleas
urc were %punctuated with twingeS of
toothache. "Y' know | sen 10 you then, "
continued Mrs. Tottcnham, that |
reckoned you wuz cut out fr n soldier r
some outdoor employment requirin' BRAY
ery2'
Mr.. Tottenham grunted complaccntly
But the best of ALL" exclaimed his
wife, with triumphant climactcric fervor,
"wuz when the old mare kicked yer in
the stall and broke yer leg. an v Jest
hoped around and hitChed her up an
druv fr yer own doctor without sayin' u
word to nobody, call that genooine
hee-roism, now
Josiah's eyes glowcd. He began TO
realize that he really was a mar of UNI
common fortitude, and he innocently
and unsuspectingly r~cjoiccd in the
thought. Being neither logician nor
ulplOlnht, nc ulu not see the point AT
which the wife was driving; and when
she finally turned upon him, eXclaiming,
JOSH, ef | wuz such n man as you Toe
I'd feel ashamed to knuckle down to a
leetle snub of a tooth he was too as,
tonished and bewildcrcd TO reply. The
situation did seem ridiculous; he was
obliged 10 admit that. But, oh. those
fendish, cold, cruel, crunching pinch.
ersl' Suddenly a compromise occurred
10 him. ''Why couldn't you pull il,
Marthy2" he asked. Il seen you pull
one of Eben's teeth. onct, with IA string
''P'raps | could !" cried Mrs. Totten-
ham, whirling with readiness that mad,
Josiah start. 'Lemme hev a look in
your mouth, JOSH"
The oddly assorted couple went to tn,
window--Josiah six feet four in hi,
stockings, and Martha four feet six il
hers. Martha Tottenham was the small
est woman in Willowtown and Josial
Tottenham was the largest man. Josisl
sat down in a chair facing the window
and opened his mouth as widely as h,
could under the circumstances. His wifi
looked into the dark cavity with IN
compressed lips and frowning brow o
one whose attention is taxed to the Ut
most. "There's two or three angr,
lookin' ones, JOSH" she said. "WhicI
o. 'em do you s'pose 'tisG'
''The for'ard one o. the lot. ] ~callate,