The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-03-10
WISE AND OTHE RWlSE.

Idleness travels very leisurely, and
poverty soon overtakes her.-Hunter.
We all believe in snowballing until
we get hit in the neck. --Atchison Globe.
A widow is one who hos buried her
husband; grass widow is one who has
SIMPLY mislaid him.
II you ever feel yourself getting con-
ceited, Just remember that the best
people are all dead.
Heterodoxy is said to be any doxy
but our own; just as nonsense is sense
that differs from ours.
The most irlSsome thing on earth is q
fool that is near, but yet 80 far that q
boot will not reach him.
1t is more important to discover q
new source of happiness on earth than
n new planet in the sky.
There was yachting accident tho
other day. An inexperienced passen-
ger sat on ono of the tacks.
The idle should not be classed
among the living; they are sort of
dead men not fit to be buried.
The upright piano may. not be
thought SO grand or so square as
others, but it does not show its legs.
Southey used to say that "the mo-
ment anything assumed the shape Of
duty, Coleridge felt himself incapable
of doing it.
Ladies, let your hair, teeth and com.
plexion DO false if necessary, but let
not your hoods be false; falsehoods
are inexcusable.
Children should, if possible. be
joyous and happy. II childhood does
not blossom, manhood will be likely to
bear no fruit
The agents of those who pilot tho
coarse md common but ambitious folk
through society for cash are rs audacious
as they are contemplate.
"A cold night, hot fire. and taters
in the ashes" This is Uncle Remus
Harris's photographed confession Of
his ideal state Of happiness"
Oh. cursed love of gold; when for
thy sake the fool throws up his interest
in both worlds, first starved in this.
then damned in that to come.--Blair.
Make the republic pre-eminently o
nation Of home owners and taxpayers,
and its future is assured, as well ~ the
morality Of its social lifs.-Soymour
Dexter.
He Gust engaged)-"I don't think
you kiss with the same earnestness and
abandon that other girls do" She
"Dont you think so? Why, other men
say do. Truth.
Are all the good poets dead ?" asked
Chicago editor. Perhaps not; but,
judging from our magazine verses, all
the bad poets are very much alive,
observe the Norristown Herald.
1t is discouraging to newly mar
ried man to scar his conscience praising
his blushing little wife's first cake, and
then have her tell him that she got it
at the bakers when she went down
town.
A horse will never stand facing wind
in a pasture, but will always turn his
back. A horse heated by driving can
be foundered in a few minutes by
standing facing. the wind, or in a
draught.
80 your wife begged you to give up
smoking ?" YES. did you com.
ply ?" 81 said would give up smok-
ing if she would give up shopping.
$50 you still smoke q 81 still smoke.
New York Press.
Circus man hunting for stray ele
phant) Have you seen a strange ami
NAL around here?" Irishman-"Be
gorra, Oh have that there was al
injia-rubber bull around here pullin
carrots wild his tail. Bangkok Times
The Wife-"Mercy ON me Johnny's
fallen in the town well, and it's ter
foot deep" Editor (calmly)-"Fiv
thousand dollars damages, the paper
enlarged and the mortgage lifted. The
Lord will provide ATLANTA Consti
tuition.
why don't you 60 home for you,
noon lunch ?" inquired the city man
because" answered the suburbauite
Il don't reach my Office soon enough
to be able to return home sufficiently
early to get back again in time to star
home for my dinner. Chicago Tri