The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-02-16
PuNoENr PARAGRAPHS.


What makes you wait for tina
change before you select your gloves?'
because there may be some new style
before it gets back. Inter Ocean.
The Opening Night-Dolly Bron-
son Observation-Disclosures take the
premium for splendid seats Cheviot
Hill (sadly)-"No; the specdlator does.
though" Fields Washington.
There is one thing | dread" re-
ture burial" Don't worry about that"
replied Brown; THE thing is impossi-
BILE; there's no danger of your being
buried too soon"
The Cat Was Out -Clara-"I guess
Mary Goods cat is dead. She hasn't
had a scratch on her face this month"
Mamie--''rhat isn't the reason. Her
intended has ceased wearing his scarf
pin. "-Jeweler's Weekly.
The Pessimist-''rhings never does
go right in this world" said the pessi-
mistic hired man. "Bobwire fences
didn't come in until leather pants had
gopS 90 o style. "-lndianapolis Jour
naA.
Reading by Proxy. Baroness
1.-THE commencement of this novel Ia
dreadfully slow" Ito ''companion'')-
Miss Brockhardt, will you please read
che first two or three chapters, and /
will then start where you have left of. "
Captain Fracassa.
-"Please, sir, II was 9:O3 when you
got here. When we'rc late you alwAy.
keep MS after school," said tho smart
boy. Very WE'LL" said the school
master; you can all stay and keep me
after school, If you wish. boston
Globe.
The Footlights Would Trouble Her.
Manager Ito Chicago GirD-"You are
pretty in the face, well formed in body
and limbs, but it wouldn't do for you
to appear on the stage" Would-be
Actress-"What would be the trOuble?'
1.-THE footlights. Yankee Blade.
--She-"Do you believe ones fate can
be read in the hand ss the palmistry
people say?" He-''ro a certain ex-
tent Give me your hand, for instance,
and can tell that my fate will be sure
to be a happy ne."-Chicago News.
AT the breakfast Table. Father to
little Martha, who has been naughty
II know little girl who wasn't good
this morning" Martha-"Ah!" Father
You know the little girl, too"
Martha-"Bah!' Father-'Can you
tell me her name% Martha-"Littlc
children mustn't talk at table. "-Paris
Figaro
Hello" said one department clerk
to another, "here's another joke about
q woman staying in dry goods store
for two hours and not buying any
thing" "Yes," was the reply; those
are very good jokes usually, but when
you get married you won't take much
stock in them. Washington Star.
Binks-"Did you hear about Wat
sons whiskers" Jinks-"No; what
was it?" Binks-"Why, they looked
SO homely that all the neighbors signed
a petition asking Watson, us a matter
Of public policy, to shave them off. ="
Jinks-"Well, did he do it?" Binlss--
"Yes; he did it." Jinks--" well, what
thcnw Binks-''Why. the very next
day the neighbors signed u petition
asking Watson, as u matter Of public
policy, to let them grow again. y
Somerville Journal.
Landlord - Good morning. sir;
hope you enjoyed good nights rest,
sir?" Travcler-"Yes, thanks; pretty
fair" Landlord-''Saw nothing of the
ghost that is said to appear from time
to time in the room you occupied?"
Traveler-"Ah, yes; l did, though"
Landlord-"And how did you get rid Of
the intruder?" Traveller offered
him glass Of your wine, when he van
shed with u gesture of supreme dis
gust" Landlord -"Oh! All Well,
neverv'-Familien-W ochen blatt