Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-07-10
How the Goyernors Met.

How the Governors Met.
In the olden times of our statehood,
before the steam engine bullied tie
earth with thunderous stroke and re-
duced space to mere matter of time,
when whisky with sugar was five cents
glass and all backs were turned as
that glass was filled, and when white
mar was considered as good as negro
if ne behaved himself, the Governor of
North Carolina took it into his head
one day to pay long promised visit
to his neighbor, the Governor OF south
Carolina. So he put on clean shirt
and a pair of socks in his saddle bag,
mountdd his horse and rode away
through the pine forests toward the
south. Diligently following his nose IN
that direction he came in due time TO
the home of his brother Governor,
where he was received with all the
nonors of southern hospitality. When
asked how he felt, his CHARACTERISTIC re-
ply was, THANK you, Governor, l am
tired, sleepy, hungry and sober" The
host cordially assured him that he
could remedy all these. Next day din
ner was served at twelve o'clocE as the
horn blew for the hands to come in.
After it was over the two Governors
retired to the shade of the long back
porch, where corncob pipes, with long
twists of home grown tobacco awaited
them.
There, in the long, soft afternoon,
reclining in easy bottom rockers, they
lolled and smoked and talked the hours
away. Betwixt the twain, on the
floor, sat brimming pitcher of apple
toddy, with the mellow, roasted fruit
impudently floating on the surface of
the divine tipple. From time to time
this aided and enlivencd the conversa-
tion. They talked of the comparative
excellences and advantages of their re-
spective States, of the price of cotton,
of horse raising and run away negroes;
as they talked they smoked and as they
smoked they drank. They speculated
on the coming glories of the country,
they pledged eternal friedship to each
other personally, and vowed to pre-
serve all neighborly coulte;ies between
the two Carolina States forever and for
ever, amen Now and then they
would doze in their easy chairs under
the mellow influence of their happy
surroundings, and on waking up would
Indignantly deny having been asleep,
and take another drink to prove their
wakefulne S. And thus things went On.
Now it happened that the Governor
of South Carolina had wife-as all
good Governors should have, on the
principle of the old maxim that he
who aspires to govern should first
learn to obey-ana her name was Betsy
Jane. She well knew the failing of her
Governor and she easily guessed that
the visiting Governor was tarred with
the same stick. Quietly watch
ing proceedings she at length
concluded that these two old
cocks were about as full as they could
well hold without stopping over, and it
was time to stop. Watching her OPP
portunity during q rather protracted
doze, she slipped away the pitcher,
still half full, and inserted in its place
pggin of cool spring water with a
clear, yellow gourd hanging on the
handle But the instincts of nature are
infallible. Though sound asleep the
Governor of North Carolina felt that
something was wrong-a lack of spirit
as it werc-every nerve in him cried
out against the presence of hostile
element, and he awoke. His perturbed
soul had not deceived him. The pit
cher of toddy was gone. He immedi-
ately awakened his host, who courte-
ously inquired, "What is the matter?n
Don't you see what is the matter?"
said the guest, looking Indignantly at
the piggn and the gourd. Indeed, l
see nothing wrong" said the now dis
tressed host. "Please tell me what is
the matter, my dear Governor" The
devil you say! Nothing wrong, in
deed! go TO sleep with q pitcher of
toddy before me, wake up and find q
pigsin of spring water, ana the Cover
nor of South Carolina tells me in his
own house that he see; nothing wrong
in that! Well, well All | have to say,
sir" said the Governor of North Caro-
lima, rising with very great but
rather unsteady dignity, 'is that it is a
damned long time between drinks"
"Ob," said the Governor of South
Cardinals the situation flashed on him,
Il see: that's Betsy Jane. She means
stop, and we're done for to-day. Pm
sorry l can't bring that pitcher back. I
humbly beg your pardon, Governor, but
maybe there's Betsy Jane at your
house and maybe you know how it is
yourself" The offended dignity of the
Governor of North Carolina dissolved
slowly into a genial smile of intelligent
comprehension, and, solemnly working
one eye, he fell-either upon the neck
of his host or upon the porch floor, ira
dition does not say Notwithstanding,
you bet, old boy; you bet"
And that's how it came about
Throughout all that southern land ira
dition has wickedly repeated and kept
alive the saying of the Governor Of
North Carolina as g convenient mode
OF Jogging the memory or stimulating
the tagging hospitality of a host, but
has failed to embalm in human memo.
ry the righteous prudence ana wifelv
virtues of Betsy Jane, the spouse of the
Governor of South Carolina.
For near on to q hundred wears the
saving has been q faithful one and
worthy of all acceptation in our coun.
try-that is to say, it has been faithful.
l.. r,nao+o5 oil thot time o,,d ,,,.l.