Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-03-16
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings ana
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laugh BILE.
SprinkIes of Spice.


No, MAUD, dear; Joan OF Arc was
not Noah's wife. -Philadelphia Rec
ord
THE collector will come round I'M
less you keep him squared.
Gazette.
On washday paterfamilias feels
that he is subject to wiring rule
BinghamtOn Leader.
THERE is some hope that the fash
ion magnates will stave off the hoop
skirt.-Lowell Courier.
IT really wasn't a punster who in
troduced in the legislature bill to
cod-ify the fish laws. - Cleveland
Plaindealer.
A LITTLE boy was asked what the
Sunday school text was. He answered
"Many are cold, but few are frozen"
Newark Call.
DAsHwAY-I have just been up in
the mountains for little shooting.
Cleverton-Any luck? Dashaway-
One guide.-Life.
"Do YOU enjoy your health?" "Of
one who didn't enjoy good health?"
eyes, the doctors. "-Quibs.
JACK PENDLEToN must have got
married" what makes you think
so?" "He has quit wearing creases
in his trousers. "-EXchange.
TEACHER "Now, Teddy, is Jeru-
salem a proper noun or common
noun?" Teddy" faint either. It's
an ejaculation, mum. Truth.
MANY mistress would like to COM
mand her servant to do this and that,
but finds it difficult to rise to the
point of order.-Detroit Tribune.
Il FEEL better about lickin' this
postage stamp" said the boy who had
been sent to mail letter. dts
nearer my size. "-Washington Star.
Thrown Jack over have you,
Kitty?" eyes" Il thought you
loved him?" Il did, but l discovered
that he bought the candy he sent me
at a grocery Buffalo Express.
81 got secrid," said Molly. "My
mamma says maybe if I'm awful good
for a whole month papa IL try TO
have me eggzibited at the Worlds
Fair. "-Harper's Young People.
BARNES Qaying aside a letter)-Td
like t. git this ere Teller fer a hired
man. Mrs Barnes-Why, Josh?
Barnes-'Cause he signs himself
"Your obedient servant. Puck.
FOND PAPA - Tommy, you are
learning rapidly. Now tell me what
these figures on my new necktie
are?" Tommy Observation-Disclosures
things. The Clothiers' Weekly.
Il KNEW he'd fall. He was aw-
fully extravaganza. "What did he
do?" "Why, he even went so far as
to insist on boiled eggs for breakfast
every morning. buffalo Express.
UPsoN DowNEs-P be-
lieves in pruning his genealogical
tree. Rowne de Bout-How is that?
Epson Downes-He cuts his poor re-
lations when he meets them.-Puck.
JIMMY-Papa took me TO the cathe
dral last Sunday, and they burned
lot of insects to make the place smell
nice. Tommy-They must have
been scentapedes. Philadelphia Rec
ord.
could you make it convenient to
lend me 500, Jack?" Il don't know.
If l should lend it to you / should be
a man of some distinction. "HoW
is that?" "One out of hundred. >
Yarmouth Item.
JEwELER-"You don't need key
for that watch. Just turn the crown,
so, and it will CO." Farmer Field
"Just like a durn caow, amt 1T? Give
her tail twist an she gifts up and
gits."-Jeweler's Weekly.
A TEACHER was explaining to lit
tie girl how the trees developed their
foliage in the spring-time. "Ah,
yes" said the wee miss, Il under
stand; they keep their summer
clothes in their trunks. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
odd you write James Skidmores
name on this note?" said the Judge to
the prisoner accused Of forgery. I'D
like to know, Judge" replied the cul-
prit, "if Jim Skidmore has copyright
on the letters as happens to form his
name?"-SaVannah Press.
"OI do behave there's foul play con-
templated agin me at me service
place, said Bridget O'Rafferty. "Dc
they want to get rid of you?" "Oi
sushpect that same" "Why?" *Ivery
noight the missus do be givin' me
tickets to ride home on the trolley
railroad. "-Washington Star.
SHE-'As we are to be married in
June, don't you think you ought to
begin to economize?" He-@Oh, I've
begun already. That very thought
occurred to me this evening as | was
coming here" She-@What did you
do?" He-"Passed the candy store
without stopping - New York
Weekly.