The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-09-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A tea party-An old maid.-Iruth.'
The time to burn letter is before
it is mailed. Galveston News
Every man has his price, except
those that are worth buying. Puck.
The difference between marbles and
billiards is about ten years in the age
of the play. Puck.
A deaf man cannot be legally con-
victed 1t is unlawful to convict a
man without hearing -Siftings.
Father-in-law-" sm ruined all is
lost" Son-in-law --''Ahem Then /
married for love, after all l''-Tit-
II there were no great fools in the
world, we wouldn't be nearly so we'll
satisfied with ourselves as we are
Puck.
'She never told her love-" But il
he didn't get wind of it, it was no
fault of the busy-bodies Boston
Transcript.
A minister who was given match
sealed in an envelope for wedding fee
made light of the imposition. -Phila-
delphia Record.
'Did Bilkem leave anything when
he died?" eyes; his creditors.
They're the worst left lot you ever
saw. Buffalo Courier.
The fool seeketh to pluck the fly
from the mules hind leg, but the wise
man letteth the job to the lowest bid"
der. Memphis Appeal
AppHcant-''WilI there be a chance
to get up in the world?" Proprietor
"At half-past three in the morning"
-Kato Fields Washington.
She-'I wonder why they call these
angel sleeves?" He--"Whnt else
could they be called when you wear
them indianapolis Journal.
No one can appreciate the value of
n match as can the smoker who lives
in a house that ia lighted by electric
light and heated by steam. Life.
She-''Am l the first girl you ever
proposed to, darling?' He tsincerely)
NO; but you are the only girl who
ever accepted me. Brooklyn Life.
Friend-''You don't talSe any OUT
ing in the summer, / suppose?" Ice
man "Well, no; that's when 1 have
my innings, You know. Detroit Tri-
bune.
81 have notion to poke you in the
face, said the boy 90 the banana.
"What face?" asked the banana. my
face, said the boy. Indianapolis Sem
tinel.
Philosophers go about saying this
is woman's age. According to her own
account woman denies it--denies hav-
ing any age; she is always young
Flaming Sword.
''How do you like your new lady
help, Mrs. Todgers.' ''l should like
her good deal more, Mrs. Bodgors,
il she was little less the lady and a
little more of help. It'd Bits.
Novelist - '1'd like to have my
heroine do something absolutely
uniquer Friend-"Yes2 Why don't
you have her faint whom there's no
one looking. Detroit Tribune.
Tramp-"Cau you assist me along
the road, mum?' Lady of the House
--"Personally, l cannot; but / will
unchnin my dog, and l know ho will
be most pleased TO do 80. '-Tt-Bits
aren't you in the grOve-robbing
business?" asked the lawyer. "My
profession, sir, responded the wit
ness, with dignity, "is that of oxhum-
ntorial artist indianapolis journal.
Mrs Flocbton--"I wonder is it true2
People say that you sometimes 80 to
sleep over your sermons. Parson
Dunleigh People, | suspect, Judge
me by themselves, Boston Tran
script.
"Hhen you think / can never learn
to dive. don't see why?' Professor
MY dear young lady, you must re-
member that you would have TO keep
your mouth shut Chicago Inter
Ocean.
First Traveller What is your busi-
ness?' Second Traveller lhaughtily)
q am gentleman, sir. First
Traveller Indeed How long have
you been out of work?'-New York
/ Herald.
L suppose 10 is quite cool in the
Scotch Highlands, even in summer"
said Pittsburger to a friend who had
been in Scotland eyes, the latter
replied "the hills wear their furze all
the time. Pittsburg Chronicle.