The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1893-01-16
HOW IT ALL WAS
O TT ALL AO !!
Colonel Vann Talks Fluently on an
Old Subject.
Tslls How Man - Proud Man was
Evolved.
THE POLLYWOG WAS SURELY IN ~
poLLYwoe WAS SURELY IN 1T
A Nav CHAPTER Which should Cause the
World to Really Rejoice in the
New Wisdom.

II theories are" ss we are told, 1.-The
measure of mental activity" then an ad-
miring world has, doubtless, already given
us credit for an amazingly active braln'
as well as a hustling advocate along the
line OF events, past or present. Now, II
we were to reason from a~nalogy--that
hidden harmony Of life-we would no
he compelled to 60 back to first principles
in order TO establish the descent OF
man." as some of the nineteenth century
philosophers have done. The "Darwinian
theory" as we'll as Lsplace's "nebular
hypothesis" are Just as simple in their
application to the ends in view, as was
those sanity kisses exchanged between
the good Parson Abernethy and Mother
Grimsley; but the resultant cyclone OF
buckshot was a wholly unexpected factor
in the kaleidoscope OF love-Eli got
got there, however, just the same!
You may theorize from now till the
end Of time, but the fact remains, in all
its rugged simplicity, that our worthy
ancestor, the philosophic pollywog, would
at the present day cut a sorry figure as
chairman of q political conventions; not
that he is deficient intellectually or other
wise, but from the fact patent to all OBJ
s~ervers-that utter disregard for the use
Of pants, and some other glazing vulgari-
ties 80 common to the genus frogga.
This native simplicity, as well as a few
inherent virtues on the part Of our aque-
Gus relative, would lose none of their
dignity were we TO emulate them; but,
alas our contact with the civilization of
the age in which, unfortunately, We were
born, will debar for aye such noble aspi-
~rAtions.
In our contemplative moments we oc-
~casionally give rein to the restless mind
and permit 1t TO roam at will back through
the lost ages of time, and to that period
when animated, palpitating life first be,
gan its ephemeral what is the
result Of that view into echOless void?
AS time and space creates no obstacle to
thought, we'll drop down upon the edge
OF the "Mauvaises Terres" of Nebraska,
as it was about put it fifty million years
Ago.. Chronologically speaking, we may
be slightly in error, but let that pass, as
human ~frailties detract not an iota from
eternal verities. We now stand in the
~yestibule Of creative energy; mortality,
in a r~udimentary form, has just begun
the race Of life and of-death! Here are
the grim secrets of an early world-the
palocotherium, the a"rchiotherium, the
rhinOceros Nebrascensis, together with
many other novelties in the way Of ami
NAL life, meet gaze-there is our
&fable p%rogenitor, Major Pollywog; tail
less now and enjoying a high state of
civilization and its attendant blessings
It seems that the major was not born
like other folks, but sprang, Minerva-like,
full hedged from the source of being;
but his subsequent wanderings through
the long pre- Cenozoic night, and the con
tact with his base and unworthy COM
patriots of the period, effectually played
ruinous havoc with both his intellectual
and moral stamina, and left him an ostra
cised %vagabond in the bog-holes of the
ages!
We might 60 on, al ininitum in our
learned, free and easy way and give a
detailed history of mans development
from his advent till now but that is
not our plan-we set out with the laud
able determination to gather up a few,
II not all, Of the missing links in the
chain of mans descent. The savants of
other times, and Darwin, Huxley and
others Of our day, long and earnestly
labored to solve the vexed problem but
they failed TO raise the veil which hung
between them and the wished-for goal
that limit Of ambition.
When we assumed the professional role
of savant, and began the study of arch
aeology some years back, we ~endeavored
to reach the genesis of man through the
then popular monad and protoplast theo
ries but we seon found that we were on
the wrong trail, and abandoned it in favor
OF that more congenial one, the babboon
fake. Neither could we work out the
vexstious problem along this line-that
everlasting tail invariably bobbed up
as a fractional remainder! Again at
fault. The subject % began to wear q
very decided sombre hue: thoughts of
suicide, murder and other pleasant mental
topics were trying hard to fill up the in
tellectual vacuum, and were, viewed from
the plain Of ~forlorn hope, brilliantly sue
cessful. just al this point-the darkcs,
hour-there suddenly came a rift in the
murkey clouds, and our way, hitherto SC
blindly INSTRUCTED, was now cleared OF
all obstacles. Natural selection why
had we not thought of that proposition
before. In our wild Joy We shouted
Eureka and were guilty of severa'
semi-insane capers that would have de-
moralized the average church member, tc
say nothing Of the wayward Comancht