The Opelousas courier., 1893-07-01
An Amusing Incident.

Major w. is very intelligent, amia-
BILE and energetic gentleman whose
avoirdupois is about 225 lbs. He holds
the office of Assistant Assessor of St.
Landry, and never let's the weather
make prisoner of him. When duty
calls he obeys, despising mud ahd wa
ter, whatever the condition of the roads
or, the bridges. Capt. S. Fl. is, in many
respects the same kind of man. The
only difference being in the physiques
of the two. The one is mammoth
and the other microbe.
They set out together, behind pair
of fan tail mustangs to go and assess
the property of one or two of their
neighbors, residing a few miles away,
in the obsurity of the "deep. tangled
wild wood" Recent rains had swollen
the intercurrent creek, and in one place
had partially dislodged the bridge over
it. When they reached it they of
course halted, to take observations. Our
microbe friend suggested that, as he
was scientifically aquatic, he would get
out, disengage the barbary steeds. and
make them swim over. The truth was
he did not know how to swim, but he
knew the daring magnanlmity of his
giant friend, and that the latter would
not listen for moment to the PROPOSE
tion. SO the Major ventured on the
bridge, calculating that the weight of
the steeds, his own, and that of the bug
gy would be sufficient to force the
floating bridge down on its abutments.
Bat in the twinkling of an eye, the
ponies went down in the creek and
were in imminent danger of drowning.
As quick as thought, he plunged in to
disengage TIE horses and sank to his
chin in the water. Capt. Il. never
abandoned his seat, but gave directions
to the magnanimous Major, who moved
like an elephant in the effort to save
his ponies. He succeeded. One of
them got on each bank and our aquatic
friend finally succeeded 10 getting the
buggy over The horses were separat-
ed and the one on the home side set out
for home again. He went mile or so
before the Major conld manage to catch
him.
With "a slush, slnsh, in red top boots
at every step, he at last got back to his
buggy. In short time, the friends re-
newed their journy, and soon reached
the house of coldfed man. The ma
ior domo was absent but his wife hos
pitably received the adventurers, both
of whom she very we'll knew. The
Major, being little modest, permitted
/ his microbe friend to speak for him.
Madam P, said he, the Major is little
damp, from being in the creek back
yonder and would like to get a dry shirt,
and pants, etc, and have his clothes
dried, Can't you rig him out in some
thing until he can have his clothes
dried ? Well, said she, my husband is
a very much smaller gen tleman than
the Major, but if he can squeeze into
some of his clothes, | will do his up as
speedily as can. In a trice a Peni-
tentiary looking shirt was handed out
to the Major, and a little pair of pants,
about inches too small in the gastron
omic reigon of his anatomy, and fully
that much too short along the tibias.
They fit him like new kid glove, the
difference being that the latter may
stretch-the pants never did. Up the
waist they extended to within about
one inch of the umbilicus, and how he
ever got them buttoned, was puzzle
to his friend, and still is. He managed
to get his boots off, but had no substi-
Itntion.
| How the Major felt in suit of negro
clothes, whose capacity was so little
adapted to his portly dimensions, can
better be imagined than adequately des-
cribed In the meantime the obliging
mistress of the house washed his clothes
and hung them ou a chair before the
fire to dry.
He sauntered out to the yard, and
while looking round, the chair, on
which the pants had been stretched,
fell into the fire, and before the acc-
dent was discovered, bis capacious
pants were minus one eleg. Tho Major
become irate bnt managed to derive
consolation, seasoned by some degre e
of patience from the ready device ot
Capt. II, who always equal to an emer-
gency, suggested to Mrs. P. that she
should make him pair of pants out OF
some yellow. calico he had recently sold
her at the reduced price of ten cents q
qard. She set to work and in the short
est time imaginable, the Major was
rugged out in new suit, which to this
day he dons with pride.
i Amid all these untoward adventures
/ and accidents he persisted in making
the assessments, and reachsd home
hours behind time, hailed by his aux.
ious family with as much joy as Moses
was on his return from the Fair, by the
good Vicar of Wakefield.