The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1893-07-18
Wit and Wisdom.

Ine WauC ol lalJn, patleuce anu peT-
sistence.
There are two places where it re-
quires an effort to keep ones balance
ON the ice and at the bank.
That is queer and most embar-
RAISING faculty which we all possess
at some time in our lives, of mean
ing one thing and saying another.
May-"I lost my old doll last week,
and papa got me nice new one"
Nanna-"Oh, how nice! l guess I'll
lose mine, and tell papa all about
it,"
Barred!-He (standing at the gate)
Pm not your style, evidently,
Miss Maybloom." She-"You're not"
He-"I see you prefer to gang your
ain gate!"
When small boy bats ball
through plate glass window he
may not lose his innings, but the
man who owns the window is in
variably put out.
Dora (trustingly)-"Am I the only
girl you ever loved, Jack2" Jack
why, yes, certainly, my love-that
is to say, the only girl l ever loved
as l love you, my darling"
Teacher-"In what part of the
Bible is it taught that man should
have only one wife," Little Boy
81 should say it's the part that says,
No man can serve two masters
Mr.. Wickwire-"What is that wo-
man across the way trying to sing?"
Mrs. Wickwire-"My sweetheart's
the man in the MOON" Mr.. Wick
wire-"Well, if he don't hear it isn't
her fault"
Maggie-"No girl could have re-
fused if he had proposed to her rs
sweetly as he proposed to me-" Mary
But you must remember, dear
that he has had great deal of OK,
perience."
At the opera in Dublin a gentle
man sarcastically asked man stand
ing up in front of him if he was
aware he was Opaque. The other
denied the allegation and said he
was O'Brien.
Wife entering breathless)-"Mercy
me, | wondered what on earth you
was daein'" Husband" Am tryin
a new fiddle ave bocht." Wife
"Guidness! I thocht ye was shiftin
the bed"
"McBorril can't get over his OLD
haberdashery manner now that he is
a house builder" "What has he
done now?" "Sold a man house
the other day, and asked him if he
wanted it sent"
After Supper at Ball.-He-
"Without joking, Elsie, I do adore
you. When l look at you there il
such commotion in my breast!
Shetland in mine, too, Henrie; il
must be the lobster salad!'
Young wife "Horrors? Loci
here, sir, your dog has run off with
a whole sponge cake l left outside
to coolw Tramp-"Don't worry
mum. That dogs stronger than he
looks. He kin eat anything"
Little things often change the cur
rent of life. A moments temper
has often severed a friendship which
might have lasted a lifetime. Al
unkind and hasty word has left ;
mark which death seems scarcely te
have erased.
"Has the cookery-book any pic
tures9" asked young lady Of f;
bookseller. "Not one," replied The
dealer in books. "Why," exclaimed
the witty girl, "what is the use O.
telling us to serve dinner if 20,
give us no plates?'
A new dish.-"I think, Sarah, 20,
had better roast the mutton for din
ner, and postpone the pork" Saral
(blanklY)-"Sure, mum, l can roast
: and bile and stew wi the best, bu
it's the first time l ever heard O
pos'ponin' jint.''
The deacon's wife wanted to jo
down the text, and leaning over tc
. her scapegrace nephew she wits
pered, "Have you card about your
"You can't play in chapel" was hi
: solemn, reproving answer. And the
good woman was so fustered thai
J she forgot all about the text.
Prisoner -" eyes, your honor,
committed the theft with which
am charged entirely through the in
stigation of my medical adviser
Magistrate-"You mean to say b.
suggested the crime to you?" Prison
er-"One thing is certain; he TOLD
me to take something before going
to bed"
Young lady of "Papa
; dear, Mr.. Sampson is coming to
night, and I wish when you go t.
bed that you would close the tran
som over your door" Fathe
a (humbly)-"Do l snore so loudly a
all that9" "Yes, papa; and l don
want Mr.. Sampson to think tina
! sort of thing runs in the family"
: Jeanie's Sentiments-Jea is ST
years old. "Mamma," she asked, on
day, "if | get married will have t
get husband like father" eyes,
replied the mother, with an amused
smile. "And if | don't get marie,
will | have to be an old maid lik
. Aunt Kate?" eyes" "Mamma,
after a pause, "it's a hard world TO
I us women, isn't it?"
"How are you getting along7
| aslraI fraunlnr Of 4