The Helena independent., 1893-12-02
A LARGE AND JUICY FOOL.
nut Hc Knows Deal More About Guinea
Pigs Than He Ds0.


Pigs Than He Ds0.
'sElave Just come in from the country
said the young man with the fall style
derby, "and succeeded in making large
and Juicy fool of myself almost every day
while was there l staid with an uncl.
OF mine who has farm l6 or II miles from
nowhere, and the Reubens got the laugh or
me SO many times that can't remember
the number.
.sThe qucerest experience that / had
though, was at one of their county fairs
They held the fair early this year, for some
reason or other, and was on hand to take
it in. l went out to the grounds with u
party of young women who were visiting
in the neighborhood, and undismayed by
the failure of my former efforts to string
the rustics started out to have fun with
them as soon as we struck tho grounds.
We walked around for couple of hours,
and was poking all manner of fun at the
people we met. Finally we came to the
shed where the poultry was on exhibition,
and as we went along looking Mt the vari'
ously bred chickens, got particularly fun
n.y. At the end of one of the rows of coops
was u box with five or six guinea pigsin it.
There were quite @ number of countrymen
standing around looking at the queer little
animals.
"We walked over and looked at the
pigs. Then Isaid loudly, DO you know
thatif you pick up guinea pig by the
tail its eyes will drop out? The country
men stared. Fact l continued. Pick
one of them up by the tail, and its eyes will
drop right out Most Queerly constructed
anatomically of any animal known to nat
uralists. Ii these pigs were mine, would
soon show you.
"a big, strapphg fellow who stood be,
side the box said, Stranger, don't believe
you insisted that was fright, but he
stood and doggedly shook his head and the
rest Of the countrymen sided with him.
Now, a guinea pig has no tail, and there is
where the joke comes in. l argued for
some little time and then made grand
bluff. Ipulled out little roll of bills and
offered to bet the Reuben S25 that just
that thing would happen. Imagine my
surprise when the Reuben hauled greasy
old pocketbook out of his jeans and COW
cred the money. was sure had him, for
the bct-was catch one anyhow, and as the
young women who were with me were egg
ing me on couldn't think of tlunking
Understand l said, I claim that if
you pick up that guinea pig by it's tail it's
eyes will drop out
~ understand said the countryman, as
he opened little door in the side of the
box and pulled out a guinea pig. Now
pick this one up and let's see its eyes drop
out
"Then began to laugh. 'Ha, my friends
said. I have played q little trick ON you;
that's all. AS a guinea pig has no tail you
can't pick one up by it. If you could, do
not doubt that it's eyes would drop out
IT reached out for my half of the bet,
when the big countryman said: 'Hol ON
there, mister. You jist look an see if this
here guinea pig hain't got tall exam
ined it, and may be switched if it didn't
have tail an inch long. The countryman
picked it up by the little caudal appendage,
and of course its eyes didn't drop out.
Then he reached over, grabbed the wad of
money and put it in his pocket, remarking
the while, I didn't think when developed
that breed of guineas that they would ever
make that much for me-
''I'll be blamed if he hadn't been work.
ing for three years to produce guinea pigs
with tails! He had succeeded, and was
chump enough to go up against the only
cage of that kind Of animals in the world
with my chestnut about their eyes dropping
out. Buffalo Press.