Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-03-05

en- referring to social letters, not TO the
dull. dry. heavy business communications
which deluee our post-office and keep our
stenographers away from their meals.
Nine people out OF ten are shaky" on
their spelling. in the first place but after
ali this ~ not the worst crime on earth. Tor
dictionary can remedy this evil For
my part. II / am producing an article Tor
publication l rely upon the printers TO
save my orthogfaphy, and " soriboling
away on n private letter write the doubt
full word illegibly. This schome always
works. and as a general thing have the
blessed assurance that the recipients OF
any biaet-tiouy will not know the difference
anyhow.
But O,it is horrible 70 como across q
formal letter--an epIstle ga stlif as crino-
line and rs cold as frogs bind leg. They
make me furious II they emanate from tho
pen of girl. and II they come from man
set him down as n hopeless lmbecile
The proper damscl" always commences
her precious epistles, II writing 10 man,
with don't-touoh-me Kind Friend"
for she Is afraid TO use the adjective
dear" lest in his cOncelt her masculine
acquaintance should really come 70 the
conclusion that he was positively dear 10
Der. Mark nv words the maid who makes
IL q rule to begin her communications IN
this way is as sure 10 become spinster az
Q pig is to find mud-puddle II you give
him time. She may love n man. she may
adore his cigar-stumps (aS certain cha
syacter in o much talked Of novel once did,
and she may worship the ground
covered by his capacious feet, but she will
never win the object of her affection.
There is too much of the iceberg aud TOO
liberal o sprinkling OF the cold-storage
system in this KIND Friend" business 70
ever give mans heart chance 10 expand
m
dressed. 1t checks the tender palpitations
Of the masculine cardiac apparatus, ana
weighs it down as though burdened by
thousand of brick
In Heavens name. o. maidens. cease
ehis frigid way of addressing your gentle
men acquaintance. for 1t will ruin your
matrimonial prospects forever and Tor
tver.
Now, TO tell the truth about letters.
ladies, / don't think " dear friend" IS
much better than kind friend" Of
course it's slight improvement, but very,
very slight. We chaps Cor rather all the
rest of them, for I'm "out OF 1t" now
don't care about being friends TO yOu.
You read about friendship IN poetry. but
1t doesn't materiGlize much between the
opposite sexes nowadays. The poor fellow
who is freud to girl occupies pretty
much the same position towards the fair
ono that the mucilare does TO an en-
yelope-that Is TO say, be- makes hSmSelt use
full and never gets any thanks for 1t. =" Dear
Friend" docs If you are writing To man
and asking him for a contribution to some
charitable object. but otherwise 1t Will not
excite much enthusiasm. Dear Mr..
Thing-um-Bob" is better; that looks
more like you are beginning TO admire the
aforesaid cigar-stumps. and dear Billy
(Yumi yum! yumD that signifies that
you'll wear American beauties SUNDAY,
and probably mbble Huyier's caramels
an your leisure moments during the
week. dearest Billy" IS a sure sign that
somebody has begun 70 neglect his work;
has stopped going out with the boys, and Is
asking the price Of furniture IN all tho
stores IN town.
And now, my gentlemen friends. word
y 20 you. Don't be so meek when you indite
etters TO those who III after years Will
2rlticise most merci!essly your selection of
che furniture 10 which L have alluded
above. There is no need TO write US If you
fhad too much starch in your shirts, and "a
If an original idea would pop the buttons
of your vests. You can be perfectly easy
without being familiar. and on the other
.,aaad. If you are stupid enough, you can
he Though dramatically correct) as awk-
Nward, as bashtul, and as undressing "a
The greenhorn fresh from the cOrn-helds.
Commence from the beginning with the
sadjective dear" The comparative de-
'Vree of this word should never be used,
Aor il would signify that you had another
Girl, though YOU can, with caution, ex-
fperiMent with the superlative dearest IN
ke very short while, and If no protest is
-%aised you should never use anything else.
T"Ducky" doesn't go" much nowadays,
and when it does you invariably get a re-
lsponse directed TO "goosey," and the re-
j6uke is certainly just one.
must admit. IN concluding, that |
lever exactly knew how to address mar
ried ladies in letters myself, hut after all,
IL you are true gentleman, Your instincts
can guide you in this matter. One thing
is csrtain-they don't like all this lauE-
dered-coiar stiffness any better than their
sweet daughters, and | can readily under
stand why. To sum the whole thing up,
INV advice to both sexes is: Make
YOUR letters breezy; write Just what
you think, and if you can't think, why,
then, don't write; but above all be origi-
nal. By the way, if you want model for
purity of style. grace of language. sim
cerity Of sentiment, and choiclty OF words
procure some OF the private letters writ
ten by Rev. DR.. Moses ID. Hoge. and you
will find in them all that correspondent
should seek 10 initiate and all that an
epistolary artist could desire.
hoDDl t. ~. tailsNll, VI DctH-AuiDa
Synagogue. is one of the most thoroughly
broad-mnded young men l have ever
known. and he is entirely free from bigotry
and prejudice. He was one OF the first OF
the guests al DR.. iOge's anniversary re-
ception To shake the hand of the honored
Presbyterian minister. and l am sure none
were more sincere in the expression of
their wishes. 1t pleased me to see DIR.
Calisch mingling with the hundreds OF
Gentiles who filled the room. for then
knew that whatever religious beliefs di-
vided our race and his, We were after all
bound together by u common tie OF hu-
man,ty. As have SAID above, the Jewish
rabbi Is young man, aud therefore. being
youngster myself, don't hesitate IN tho
least 10 ask him ell sorts of questions
about his people and their customs. He is
too pleasant gentleman aud too sensible
man to take offence at any legitimate IN
terrogat,ons, and SO query him whenever
get occasion.
Recently | told him that I had been in
formed that his people always took Of
fence when the newspapers or the public
alluded TO them as Jews. | asked why this
was, and If their displeasure wasn't some
times case of supersensltiveness. For
INV part" replied Dr. Caliscb, '" don't, of
course. object to being referred to Us q
jew. but my people take offence because
the WOfu, Wnlcu IlSultN suouiu Oc ueeI Al
religious sense. IS too frequently en-
ployed in an invidious manner. There is
no more reason TO speak of Jewish ped
dler or Jewish citizen than 20 allude to a
Baptist peddler or on Episcopal citizen.
Sometime ago l saw an article IN one of
the papers which referred 70 u very liberal
donation made to some public object
by one Of my race. and IT was
headed "A Generous Gift by jew" or
something OF that sort. Now. the paragraph
was very complimentary III its nature, and
was doubtless intended IN all sincerity TO
DO 80, but the caption conveyed the i'm
preston that IL was rather remarkable
thing for jew 20 make generous dona-
ton. Wa are citizens and We are men.
We are liable 10 oil the vices and possess
all the good traits that Others have.
Wherever we reside we place our interests
with that section. and do our best TO
maintain the public welfare. The jew in
Austria is an Austrian, the Jew IN France
Is a frenchman. the jew in America IS an
American. the jew in Virgins IS Vir-