The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-12-31
JOHNS DON'TS
FOR NINETY-POOR

Dear girls who have husbands: To be
sure the dear creatures will all turn
over new leaves tomorrow! Turn over
the old ones--how tbumbed and dirty,
perhaps tear-stained. they are.-tnrn
them over, and with new dresses and
bonnets. new gloves and new prayers.
glue them down so tightly that nor even
a soiled edge shah mar the unsuihcd
purity OF cur leaf Tor Ninety-four.
Dear creatures, how 1 love theml How
this bachelor heart Of mine yearns over
theml sch ycarning as can never be
satisfied until | have offered them
word OF adyice-a few "don'ts. with
which to begin the New Year
Doubtless. II any OF these angels
without wings" get hold OF these
'don'ts" shall be dubbed a ''crusty old
thing a disappointed man." may-haps
n woman -hater," but Lam neither, my
fair friends: so far from hating. l love
you all so well that I'm wild tone OF
your own adjccdveD 10 serve you. In
stead OF being disappointed you never
fail to DO the thing | expect you TO; and
IN place OF the "crusty Old thing you
deem me. [ am still on the sunny side
OF forty and may yet secure my COIN
1sc up ~ tue fvpbihb point.
1 might have done that long ago, bu,
my friends are as many "a The leaves
still left on the trees, and, must con-
fess, with their varied experiences before
my mental vision, / grow too scared to
cry "s<ur me again." and the "don'ts "
rise up so thick and so fast as 10 obscure
every charm. ana blind me 20 the truth
OF the saying ~ good VIE Is Gods best
silt"
A friend OF mine lad one OF .hese
good wives. a most superior woman!
Most OF her time was spent az church;
she sung in the choir. presided over
several societies. worked in all OF the
fairs. etc, very superior woman. She
was n good house-heeper too. and be-
/ tween running both church aud home
| affairs when | met her she was too run
down TO care 20 entertain her husband
and his friends The husband was good
Fellow. artist and musician; but his
music annoyed his wife. and he made
such a litter with his paints that she
couldn't stand it," What happened2
, The usual thing; another woman. who
loved music and didR't mind litter; who
cidn't think late suppers too much
] trouble. and. above all who didn't mind
cigar being smoked I'm tie dinnips-
/ room, that was ALL
The other woman loved her husband:
no outward harm was done. but were
the two homes. the two wives never con-
| trasted, think you?
Another friend. bright, sweet-natured.
/ loving IN disposition married a beauty
when both We're very young. she wore
| different tempers in chamber and parlor,
and, the older she grew. tho more space
! she required I'm her chamber IN fact her
| chambcr-temper developed into such Inn
mensity that my poor friend was conn.
| pletely crushed. lie was literally afraid
| OF the woman who loved and honorcd"
| him! Don't you suppose he was, let US
say consolable, when Heaven saw nc
| to Temove the burden? The last heard
| OF him he had married. not a beauty
! this time. but dear, sweet girl. whom
| he had known from childhood a girl
| who looks up 20 and idolzcs him I'm
| way refreshing TO behold; and the sun
| shine Of love and happiness beams once
| more on his kindly face
| There was a third friend, n delightfully."-
/ dlgnihed minister. It is true one foot was
| in the grave; but he was wldower
! and, as such the lawful prey OF all OF
| the single saints in hia congregation He
| was overwhelmed with dressing-gowns
! and slippers. silk handkerchiefs and to-
bacco- bags, but all 10 no purpose; until
/ one saint, more enterprlsug than the
others. undertook 10 keep him posted on
] church affairs; every disagreement among
| his members; every offense taken at the
| wording Of his sermons all OF the tattle
that went on in the various societies:
in short everything that she could gather
| or invent was rolled as a sweet morsel
under this sanity creatures tongue, until
! IL was swelled into "A whole mouthful
when IL was most tenderly turned over
/ to the already weakened digestive organs
Of her dear pastor. What was the result?
Having one foot already I'm the grave.
/ IL did not take long. under such heroic
treatment, for him TO get there with both;
and the saint was too much engaged
with her preparations for the new
preacher 10 send a single flower for his
cofiinl Poor Old fellow!
A fourth friend married an extrava-
CANT girl. Just here. did you ever notice
that the girl raised in poverty is usually
the one that makes the extravagant wife?
Look among your friends and see II /
am not right. the girl accustomed to
! plenty who marries At poor man. makes
IN nine out OF ten cases. the wife who
| takes hold and helps. while the poor
| girl seems 10 consider her work done
when she changes her name OF course
being poor man myself / am going in
I Tor a rich girl
To return TO this last mentioned friend
as the years passed and the little ones
were added 20 the home-circie, expenses
necessarily increasing while care ard
economy were both lacking, presently
debt grew heavy and heavier still; the
shadows on the hearth-stone heightened,
and backened ill no spark Of life yas
left; then. forgery prison. suicide fol.
lowed In quick succession: and the last
state OF that woman was worse than the
first, with only herself 10 bamel
l might continue indefinitely. but by
this time you're wondering where the
"don'ts are; my dear girls, | am SUP
prisedl Don't be like these women I've
| told you about and don't treasure this
up against the time ] come a courtln'
Yours IN all sincerely, JOHN MEXICO
North Carolina Items.