The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1893-08-19
RETRONPECTION.
written for the REcoRD-UNIoN by Alice
Robertson

MORRISON.
Among the numerous corners and out
OF the way places around the ruined
Abbey, there was one nook which 1
especially loved and would sit therein for
hours medtating with architectural pa
thence, upon future greatness, what mas
sive castles [ would build, what immense
palaces would tumble, alas! about. my
feet in dusty ruins.
! l was a nervous, sensitive person
oversensitive, some said, on account of
my deformiry which, indeed, was a fact.
My chief delight was in reading and pom
dering over the old masters.
In this secluded retreat would watch
the tangled branches overhead. through
which few struggling sun rays pene-
| trated. Here l was content to sit and
dream. What cared 1 for the outside
world-its pleasures, its sins and crimes?
l was safe. Why should 1 wish to
emerge from my solitude? The world
and its people would only sneer and scott
at my crooked limbs and the ungainly
hump upon my back. My face, so they
said, was handsome, out the horrible
form which accompanied it was mock
cry. Who could tolerate such hideous-
ness? Who could love me? Yet stay,
! she did; and, God forgive me, | killed
her-Miriam.
She sleeps yonder. Through this win
dow, while writing, L see the tall head
stone cleaning white and ghostly in the
evening gloom.
l have just returned from that silent
| grave. My knees are damp and chilled
from kneeling thereon. These white vlo-
let's which are at my elbow and are per-
Tuning the air with such sad, sweet
fragrance, L pluck them and raise them;
dewy and moist, to my lips. They whis-
per words so sweet, so tender from my
dead darling-words so precious L will
not write. They are intended for me
alone. L kiss them thrice and thrice
again before placing them in the little
crystal vase.
How cold and dark the night falls. The
hrSt pale star trembles direct above her
grave. am at peace tonight. At first
1 stormed, cursed and raved, whilst He,
| the All Seeing, needed not. Then
prayed humbly, truly. He listened
forgave. He, the God whom l dared to
doubt, has pardoned and given balm to
my breaking heart.
thank Thee, Q ye most divine But
wander. Pray have patience with a
weary old man whose tottering feet have
long since crossed the four-score line of
life.
10 begin with my story.
My mother died when Rupert and
were born. Some few years later my
father followed, leaving us, at an early
age, orphans.
From my earliest infancy I looked up
to and wOrshiped my twin brother. so
tall, so straight and handsome, such a di-
rect contradiction to my misshapen self
While painfully conscious of the differ
ence between us, not a shade of envy en-
I u fhnnfrnfE OF i'm,
Rupert, therefore it was impossible to
begrudge him the beauty which the Al
mighty and Just One favored him with
and doing so forgot me.
Everyone liked Rupert. They all petted
him. Never i'll my iaintest recollection
did l remember having received atten-
ton, therefore never missed what l would
doubtless otherwise grieve over.
"He is only the deiormed brother.
Poor wretch. Turn away your eyes.
Such sight is not for you, my dear"
Those were the words l heard when |
first beheld her. who answered:
But his face, mamma, how beautiful.
Poor boy, what a sad, sad pity"
Such a sorrowful culver was in the
soft, sweet voice. Little wonder that
rom that moment l loved her. She. the
first to sympathize with me, and in my
heart blessed her for those kind words.
When our father died he left us rich in
lftllbS iliN IilOiGJ, pBOlLiIlllS MS DTOLler
our guardian, with the strictest injunc-
ton that we were TO remain at the Abb
hey. The reason, l know was, he suf-
fered shame for my affliction.
Owing TO the circumstance of our moth
er's death he had no affection for either
of US, but, while he could tolerate Rupert,
he would drive me from his presence
with curse. | kept cut of his sight AS
much as possible, and when my brother
joined me later with a plying, Poor
dutler," no matter il the tone was slightly
eontemptuous, l would feel amply repaid
that he should condescend to speak to
me, the great tears would fill my ewes
and fall upon the stone walk at our feet.
Don't cry. Girls and babies do that.
You can't help being ugly, but it is best
to keep yourself hid. You make people.
that are not used TO seeing you sick, and
brighten them"
promised humbly to keep myself OBJ
scured as much as possible if he would
only let me see him occasionally, and
then selected the spot already alluded 70.
Alter our fathers death | saw less OF
Rupert, as he was sent to college almost
Immediately. Although living in soli-
tude 1 was content and comparatively
happy until l met her. Then everything
changed. l loved her, loved her, loved
her. There it is, written three times, and
! | still could repeat it. She was the ONLY
/, child of the widow whom my uncle mar
ried. Rupert was away at the time they
arrived, and l, sitting as usual in my cor
ner reading, heard the mother beg Miriam
to turn away her head.
When l glanced up she stood beside
me, and her hand was laid upon my
arm-the beautiful eyes were lowered TO
mine.
al beg your pardon; but may see what
you are reading?"
felt the hot blood gush to my face as |
held the book towards her.
She looked at it with interest
"'Ag e of Fable like it, too. Would
you mind if were to come here and read
sometimes if,' anxiously, II will rot
disturb your
l eagerly told her 1 would be delighted
forgetting, for one brief moment nv de-
formity, TO instantly dread the minute
her eyes would leave my face and rest
with horror upon my twisted limbs. ]
think she must have OWNED my thoughts,
for she glanced off into the distance.
Subsequently we met every morning to
read and study. The days passed like q
golden dream to me. 1 forgot my de-
formity completely. | loved her. oh!
how madly, blindly loved her; and
when, in moment of delirious madness
told her so, she did not become alarmed
nor shrink away. In a moment | held
her trembling and blushing in my arms,
raining quick, hot kisses upon her pure
sweet lips.
tent to claim her. My uncle and his
wife would be Mortified at such thought
SO L coaxed Miriam to consent to a secret
marriage, which was easily enough ar
ranged.
At the village lived an old clergyman,
my truest friend. We went to him one
evening and were quietly married.