The Van Buren press., 1893-08-26
GOOD MANNERS.
Iheir Value to Young People DESTROYS oi
Making the Most of Life.

1heir Value to Young People DESTROYS of
Making the Most of Life.
"a good manner" says Bulwer, lis
the best thing in the world either to
get good or to supply the want of it. :"
Politicians are well aware of this, and
therefore are careful to put hinge in
the neck, and keep it well oiled. In
many private callings coarse, awk-
ward, or offensive manners often neu-
tralize the finest intellectual gifts. 1t
seems hard that men should be prepos-
sessed or prejudiced regarding one an
other by what is merely superficial;
but the simple fact is, they are. There
are thousands of good, even excellent
persons in the world with a certain
hardness of character whose manners
are disagreeable. There are blunt and
boorish, shy and reserved men, with
whom intercourse is exceedingly un-
pleasant. 1t is not that they are
malignant, but they lack deli
cate perception of the little
trifling things by which pain or
pleasure is caused. Again, there
are rude, cynical, restless people-the
contradicters and railers at public and
private tables, that, as Emerson says,
are like terriers, who conceive it the
duty of dog of honor to growl at any
passer-by. and do the honors of the
house by barking him out of sight. On
the other hand, there are men of a win
ming, sympathetic, golden temper, with
whom half-hour's talk is as invigo-
rating as bath of sunshine. is there
any doubt to which Of these classes be-
long the men who get on in life?
''Civility," says Lady Montagu, costs
nothing and brings everything" The
shrewd Nine. de Tencin gave as rule
10 Nine de Geoffrin, who was educated
under her: Never rebuff any man, for
though nine persons out OF ten should
not give themselves a farthing's worth
of trouble for you, the tenth may be-
come useful friend Many fortune
has been won by little attentions that
were not tinged with the hope of
after reward, but were sincere and
kindly ones, springing from good
heart and good breeding combined.
II is related of the wife of DIR. Dodd,
that once, when attending an auction,
she bid for II cabinet, and was at once
outbidden by lady present, upon
which Mrs Dodd Immediately eourte-
seyed and retired from the contest.
The lady, who had set her heart upon
the article, was so pleased by this, that
she expressed desire for better ac-
ouaintance with Mrs. Dodd, and short
ly afterward presented her with lot
tcry-ticket which drew a prize of one
thousand pounds. A celebrated En-
glish politician is said to have won an
influential lady's support in an i'm
portant election, by listening patient
lv as she explained to him in detail
fourteen ways of making certain
kind of cake. The glaring vices of
Charles James Fox were overlooked by
those who felt the fascination OF his
manner. His courtesy and aifability
preserved him from personal dislike,
even when he had gambied away his
last dollar, and politically was the most
unpopular man in England. When
Pitt, his chief opponent, was asked IN
Paris in.17s3, by some French states
men how man ruined by the dice-box
and the turf, could have such weight
IN England, he replied "You have
never been under the wand OF the
magician" . ....
Can this charm of manner, true
courtesy, be acquired; and If it can, in
what way? No doubt it is often
natural gift, but it is often, too, the
result of art and culture. Though
when it is in perfection I'VE can not
analyze it and detect its hidden mys-
terry any more tkan we can analyze
delicate perfume, yet it is in substance
what Lord Chatham, in his letters to
his nephew at Cambridge, calls be
nevolence in little things This be-
nevolenee is not to be acquired by
,tndvinp rules of etiquette, though
these are not to be despised. or course
a ,yell-bred man will be truthful,
calm. quiet, dignifed, and self-pos-
sessed: he will not be undlly 1am''i"r
or obtrusive; will not be superciiious'
ho,stful. or vain of his gifts or ac-
co,nlishnents; will be respectful
20 his interiors, and tender
,oyara the weak; will be
self.denying without effort; VIVA
,;sten attentively when spoken to. ana
NOT interrupt the speaker; Will tell iew
stories in general society, and when ne
tslls one, will make it brief, ana avolu
aaadlees details, etc. But these are
m,.,ely the outward manifestations OF
courtesy, which has its source within-
=, Tho heart. True courtesy springs
-, r. oooduess or fReart. oattain 1t you
must be filed with a k'na ana ~. ioSns p,,;i;s
snirit You must have what Sir fhiiiP