The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-01-11
HUM0R OF THE DAY.


A cool proceeding-Drawing an ice
cart.-Life.
When a Chinaman asks for squsb he
talks pigeon English. New York Jour-
nal.
News costs; you can't even get a re-
port from a gun free of charge. --Elmira
Gazette.
One ought to have dates at ones fin
gers ends, seeing they grow upon the
palm.-Scraps.
The record breaker isn't dishonest,
although he tries to beat his way through
hfe.-EImira Gazette.
We suppose sailor comes to be a
star" as the result of the pitch OF the
vessel. Leader.
We have great confidence in proofs
until our own come home from the pho
tographers. .-Elmira Gazette.
When rifle explodes the fault may be
in the breech, though 1t is charged to
the muzzle. Boston Conrier.
1t is eminently proper that the man
who issues marriage licenses should be
au OiiSSA VI bho SOute' W aSuib StOH
Star.
Shingiss you think Bloom
field acts the hog3" Van Braam-"He
doesn't need to act. New York Telo-
gram.
The man who beats the big drum in
! band always has an idea that the music
would be better if he had more TO do
Rams Ho4WD
81 am very POPULAR" said the chrys-
authemum. ''Nearly every man that
sees me wants to buttonhole me."-
Washington Star.
Assuming that money is the cause OF
all human misery, it is remarkable to OBJ
serve how many men are ready to Dor.
row trouble. Washington Star.
The farmer who undertakes to earn his
bread by the sweat of hired mans
brow, had better make up his mind that
PIE once month will do ans Horn.
A streak Of white on his mustache--
No words could tell it louder.
This military man so rash
Fears not to face the powder.
Washington Star.
He-"Do you love me!" She-"If l
didn't how could possibly endure hear
ing you ask me that same old chestnut
question so often as you dol"--Somer-
vile Journal.
"How old is your grandfather, Hy-
sonp 81 don't know, but he must be
quite old. He was grown man as far
back as l can remember. Omaha
World Herald.
Bobby-"You folks have got q
mighty nice house to live in, ha'1't
you2" Johnny-"Nice nothin'! the
stair banisters turn square corners!"--
Chi Cago Inter rOcean.
He (about to travel)-''Do you really
want me to come back soonH She
"Well, perhaps, you had better. You
see have promised rot to forget YOU"
Kate Fields Washington.
"That is very pretty crockery, indeed"
said the little girl who was looking at
the bric-a-brac. al suppose these are
some of the family jars of which have
heard Uncle James speak. Washing
ton Star.
She observation-disclosures! I'll
wager you'll be tired of marriage within
twenty-four hours after you've bought
me my first new dress" He (heroically)
-''Well, then, I'll never buy one for
you. Tit Bits.
"Has the ocean no charm for you2"
she asked. "Does it not suggest some
thought" eyes" he said. "When-
ever see it always wonder where in
the world all the water came FROM
New York Herald.
Rowing Raggs-"After all, it pays to
be perlite, pardner." Jocose Jaggs-
"Not always. The other day was act
in deaf and dumb, and when a man gave
me a dollar l says, Thank ye, sir' and
he had me arrested. Harlem Visitor.
ado you believe in the transmigration
of souls, joel" 'What's that, sirl"
"Why, for instance, that the COW has
had prior existence in another form
perhaps been a being like myself"
"On, no doubt the cows been a calfl'
Judy.
al hain't goin' to try that rule about
countiu' twenty when you are mad any
more, " ssId Willie to his mother "And
why not, my sonl" "Because Jimmy
Bobbs thrun a stone at me to-day an be-
fore | uOt 10 fifteen lac run AWAY an