The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-04-08

witnesses that the judge advocate of
the u deemed it unnecessary to call
upon Others who had been cited to ap-
pear. He rested the prosecution on
the overwhelming evidence adduced,
but to give the trial the proper legal
flavor he asked:
Private Schultz, what have you to
offer in defense?"
Rising slowly from his chair Private
Schultz gulped down a big lump of
something which had gathered in his
throat-he vas an old hand at the bust
ness, having earned the sobriquet of
the guard-house l~awyer.and, raising
a pair of pleading eyes, the warrior
spoke in tremulous tones:
May it please the court, Private
Gum, my 'Dunky a soldier bedfel]ow,
was with Inc on the day in question,
and wish to introduce his testimony
as to my sobriety at that time. l also
desire to testify in my own behalf.
That is all | have to offer, and con-
fidently rely on the justice of the
court"
Resuming his seat with a self-satis-
fed air he looked around at the mem
bers of the court to see whether his lit
tie speech mad pleased them on ac-
count of his airy and refined manner of
doing business.
Private Gum, who was in convenient
waiting, was called. After being duly
sworn. according to law, ne testified to
the identity of the accused and stated
that on the day in question he was in
the company of the prisoner, who, he
alleged, was not intoxicated at any
time.
Considerably startled by such CON
t1icting testimony, old Maj. Ball, the
president of the court, dropped tls
newspaper which he was reading,
other members of the court awoke
from a lethargy into which they had
pardonably fallen, the judge advocate
opened his eyes in mild establishment,
the prisoner smiled 'complacently, and,
looking straight at Private Gum, who
was now the cynosure of all eyes, he
remarked: That's ALL"
Glad enough to escape, Private Gum
turned to leave the room, but before
he could make his exit he was called
back by the president of the court
do you mean to positively assert"
asked that officer. that Private Schultz
was not intoxicated on the day in ques-
tion?''
"Yis, sorr, that's what Oh do" an
swered the witness. as he cast an af-
fectionate glance at his ''bunky." 'Oi
wuz wild him nearly all tn day an he
niver got full"
alp"
we'll, Some" responded the hes
itating Gum, but he wuz niver
drunk"
How many times did you see him
drink?" interposed a natty second lieu,
tenant, whose curiosity was now ex
cited.
"Oh, jist a few tonnes, sorr."
"How many times do you consider a
fewe" asked the officer.
Not many, sorr."
That's e~quivocation.." cried the lieu
tenant.
"Oi dunno. sorr," responded Gum,
but he wuzzent full"
Answer the g~entleman'S question"
said the judge advocate, who came to
the relief Of the puzzled witness. did
you see the prisoner drink, say, five
times?' 3
did you see him drink ten times?'
"Y-i-s, S-o-r-r."
Ibid he drink oftener than ten
times?"
sol guess he did, sorr."
Private Gum, remember that you
are under oath. Did you see the pris-
oner drink fifteen times?"
sol oid-didn't count 'em, sorr, b-b-but
Oh sh-sh-shouldn't wonder if he did,
but he niver got full" answered the
stammering witness as he cast his
eyes upon Schultz with a please-for-
give-me look that had its effect on the
court if not upon the prisoner.
The members of the court looked
significantly at one another. 1t was
plainly evident that all were extreme
ly interested if not greatly amused by
the hesitating manner of the now I'M
willing witness.
The president of the court-an old
veteran who had grown gray in the
service, whose heart was not half as
hard as the strong lines in his face
o. from his seat and, assuming an
air of dignity which the twinkle in his
gray eyes belied, addressed the wit
ness:
Private Gum, this court is not to
be hampered by prevarication or half
answers. What we want is the I'M
vanished truth without qualifying
opinions. You say that the prisoner
drank fifteen times, but that he did not
become intoxicated. Now, between