The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1893-04-07


Slnner-Yes, stree. Hai hai hal Ain
it treat?
Dear me-" said the philanthropi
lady who was visiting the Jail, Il can
believe that you are entirely devoid Q
principle" believe me, madam" wa
the reply, II have often had YER
strong convictions"
"Now, boys" said the enthusiast
"lets give three cheers for the speake
and then go get a drink" "Excus
me- said a prohibitionist; II cheer
but do not inebriate."
Hotel Guest-Now you are sure thi
bed Is quite clean? Bell Boy-Yes
sir, the sheets was washed this morn
ing. just feel 'em, they amt dry yet.
At a Church Fair: Man ITO neigh
bor)-LoOk here, I've found a spoiled
oyster. Neighbor-Don'tsay anything
about it. They might come round anc
take it away from you.
A Rebuke: Little Boston Girl (who
has never seen a turkey beforel-You
naughty chicken, put down your clothes
An Object Lesson: Mrs. Brown
Johnnie broke a pane Of glass, but as he
told me about it at once, | gave him an
apple. Mrs. Cobwigger-That will
teach him great lesson. Mrs. Brown
Pm afraid not. AS soon as he had
eaten the apple he went and broke an
other window.
Disconcerting: A young physician
was showmga a friend a recent purchase
he had made in the way of a skeleton.
Very interesting" commented his
friend; zone ofyour patients, doctor?"
"How does it happen that there are
so many old maids among the school
teachers ~ Because school teachers
are as a rule women Of sense. and none
of them will give up $50 position for
a $40 man" was the reply.
A Slight Typographical Error: A
physician was called to attend a labor
er whose leg had been crushed in a
railroad accident. The local paper in
Its nextissue said: "The mans friends
wanted DIR. Messemer 10 amputate the
leg, but after feeling the patients purse
he declined to perform the operation"
Miss Wellalong--RealIy / prefer to
look on. / am getting too old TO dance,
you know. Mr.. Afable-Oh, come
now, you're not old. don't believe you
are within ten years Of as old as you
look!
At the Officers Mess: Senior
Lieutenant TO new waiter, promoted
from the ranks) When you remove the
plates always ask each gentleman if he
desires a second help Of soup. Next
day: Waiter Changing the plates)-I
Will the Herr Lieutenant take any
more soup? Lleutenant-Yes. Wait
er-There isn't any left.
To Test His Enthusiasm Ernest
Peachblow Ito the new boarder from
ChicagO)-Ah, Miss La6tte, the study
Of the occult sciences interests me great
ly. / love to explore with the keen
eyes Of knowledge all the dark depths
Of the mysterious, 10 delve into the re-
gions Of the unknown, to fathom, as we
may say, the unfathomable. Miss La
ftte-May | help you to some of the
hash, Mr.. Peachblow?
Minister Severely, to small boy)-I
Sonny, do you chew tobacco? Small
boy (afably)-Sorry, mister / Just
put the last in me mouth.
Two Ways Of Raising It: Rev. Mr..
Choker-Has your congregation raised |
your salary lately, Brother Thirdly?
Brother Thirdly from the countIy)-l
No, sir; it seldom raises more than
half of it any given year.
: A Wise Demurrer: Bishop p
was once taken TO task by a few of his
ienominational brethren on the charge
)f exhibiting concert at variance with
she spirit Of humility. at is not
,onceit," said the bishop with that
oonderOus bearing that silenced opposi-
ion--'lt is not conceit, brethren, iii
he consciousness of superiority"
Unidentified: "Who is that fellow
Who has been talking about Withers all
he evening "That's Withers."
Luxury That is Crime.-As long as
here are cold and nakedness in the land
Iround you, so long there can be no
question at all but that splendour of
lress is a crime. And it would be
TRANCE If, at any great assembly which
Iazzled the Young and thoughtless, for
moment the spirits Of Truth and Of
'error, which walk invisibIy among
he Mosques Of earth, would lift the
imness from our erring thoughts, and
how us how-inasmueh as the sums
for that magni6cence would
ave Qiyen back the failing breath to
many an unsheltered outcast on moor
nd street-they who wear it have liter
lily entered into partnership with ,
)eath, and dressed themselves in his
polls. Yes, if the veil could be lifted
ot only from your thoughts but from
our human sight, you would see the
ngels do see on those gay white
resses Of yours, strange dark spots and
nmson patterns that you knew not Of