The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-16
GOOD IRON EVIL.

Hchfb OoNu VI thcu4 soy IL was on
ideal revenge"
GUESSED 1T, FIRST TINE.
lie Gn anger)-I don't know Why we
men marry, anyway, women are such
fools.
She (sweerly)-That's just the reason,
dear. - Elmira Gazette.
LITERALLY.
George TO Tom, arriving unexpect-
edly)-Hello, Tom, old fellow, how are
you! You are the last man | expected
TO see.
Tom docking around the room)-I
beg your pardon. I'll leave and wait
until the others come. Detroit Free
Press.
NOT TO HIS TASTE.
"Close call Chappie had at the Zoo
logical. He was right by the lions cage
when the beast broke out"
And why didn't it chew him upW
LUCKILY. the lion happened to be a
man eater"
THE INITIAL sTEP.
Mrs. Barnes Did you say you was
lOOklu Ter WOrk.
Willy Rest-Yes, mum; but, being a
detective, Pm only arter clues this trip.
VERY ECONOMICAL.
IIe-I can't send my clothes to the
tailor every time they need button.
We must economic. Can't you sew on
these suspcnder buttons yourself!
She-Here, my dear, fasten them up
with hair-pin. That will save thread,
you know. i New York Weekly.
A PM osoPnER.
"What reck we of the flight of time:'
shouted the bithest member Of TIE bach
elorS jollitication party.
Nothing" said the beetle browed
member, thoughtfully, "save that to-
night is the evening before the morning
after. "--lChicago Record.
CLEAR CASE.
Mrs. Farmcr-I think that young man
from the city is trifling with our daugh,
ter.
Mr.. Farmer-Im sure Of it. He's the
mosr tritling man | ever saw Detroit
Free Press.
SHE OUGHT TO BE sCHoOLED.
Wife, never enjoy hearing a phono-
graph. 1t always startles me TO hear a
human voice coming out OF box.
Husband My dear, you surprise me,
considering the years you have attended
the opera. Truth.
THIS DILEMMA Is CALLED LOVE.
"I'm afraid should be awtully un-
happy if didn't marry Charleyw
"Marry him. then"
Then | know should he unhappy"
Chicago Record.
SHE WAS TIE ADoRNING FEATURE.
The Coquette-l'm afraid I've got too
many diamonds on. Beauty unadOrned's s
adorned the most, you know.
The Flatterer-Nonsense. Your dia-
monds are not half SO beautiful by them
selves.
THE WAY OF A MEAN MAN.
Mrs. Suttlc Cinsinuatingly)- John, Mrs.
Swiftly's husband has just bought her a
lovely sealskin cloak"
Mr.. Suttle--I always said Swiftly had
a wheel in his head.
NO ICE THERE.
The Rector-Did You ever hear of the
theory that people will have the same
vocations in the next world as they had
in thiS2
The Widow don't believe my hus-
band will. He was an ice DEALER
Truth.
BULKY INVESTMENT.
Il have some money TO invest. and
want to yet all | can for it," said Mrs.
Iunocente to her friend Jarley, OF Wall
street.
"Well, why not buy Turkish bonds!
They're worth about a dollar dozen. y
- Iarper's Bazar.
PROPER PAY.
Mrs. Greene Gates-Twenty-i five dollars
n month! Don't you think those are
rather high wages?
Pretty Cook-No, ma'am; We see.
always have n policeman or two hangin
around me an so vez cen dispinse with
the eXpinse of hirin' private watch
man.
| TRUTH vs.. FASHION.
Mrs. De Swell .9eering from her car.
riagel-Oh | see Ms. De Stickler up nj
| her window. Go coachman.) James
stop the carriage. wish To see If Mrs
De Sticklcr is ut home. = Puck.
COMPARISON.
Mary-You call him beast. What
| kind OF one!
Kitty (who has been bored)-A wolf,
| should say. He's 50 difficult to KEEP
from the door. -, Iarper's Bazar.
BITTER WORDS.
OF all sad words of tongue or pen,
The sad lest ever known, without 4
doubt,
Come Oh that day of terror when
The dentist saws: That molac must
come out
-[Chicsso Record.