Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-03-13
-EATlNc DINNER MECHANICALLY
Tho walter Does Everything but Swal.
low the Food and Drink.

On a recent evening a big man with
q heavy walk entered a well-known
cafe on upper Broadway and sank
YEARLY into a chair at table. says
the n. Y. San. He was about 80 years
old and had the appearance of high
liver. His face had the peculiar pur-
plish-red color which is sometimes
ascribed to burgundy and sometimes
to champagne, but is always due to in
diligence of the appetite for good
things. His movements indicated that
he felt sluggish, and ii would have
created no surprise in the observer to
have been told that he was liable to
apoplexy. He seemed preoccupied. and
glanced listlessly about the room.
He was about the same age as the
man at the table, but was quick and
active.
"Good morning, Mr.. Jones'" he said
briskly. I'VE have some nice turtle
soup and some excellent roast grouse. 4"
"Al right. James," said the other.
absentmindedly.
Some potatoes chateau and let
tuce salad?"
Yes"
The waiter went away and returned
presently with some illustrated papers,
which the man took from him without
SO much as looking up. The soup was
brought on and ladled out bv the
waiter. who then took the napkin and
spread it carefully over the mans lap.
He brought on glass of sherry, al
though the man had said nothing
about it. and set it down beside his
plate. The man did not notice it, but
began to eat his soup greedily.
You are forgetting your sherry,
sir" said the waiter, respectfully.
Mechanically the diner reached out
and carried the glass to his lips. The
waiter watched him as carefully as a
mother does her child. filed the glass
of water when it was empty, replaced
the napkin when it slipped down. and
in other ways saw to it that the diner
W. comfortab BILE. The soup was fol-
lowed by the roast, potatoes, and some
celery The latter had not been or
iered, either. The grouse was carved
by the waiter. who also served the DO
-atoes and picked out the tender pieces
Of celery.
DO You want your champagne, sir"
Ie asked.
what champagnc?7 demanded the
liner. ENORMOUSLY.
You have half i bottle left from last
night. sir."
Bring II on, then"
The waiter returned with Il half
Empty bottle. a rubber cork tightly
pressed into the mouth had preserved |
he sparkle. Through the remainder
II the meal the waiter never relaxed |
lis watchfulnesS, although he had 10
wait on two other tables. When the |
LINZ. haI - ,1 =, I.
o rise. The waiter, who happened 70 |
,e at another table, rushed to his |
ide.
Wait a moment, Mr.. Jones'" he
aid; You must take Your pepSin." |
Then why the devil don't you bring |
to"
Right away, SIR
In 4 moment he had rushed out OF |
he room and returned speedily with 4 |
'ottle and spoon. He mixed up i
ose in n glass and handed it to the |
nan, who drank it with WY face. |
hen the waiter brought finger bowl |
nd cigar, of which he cut off the |
nd. He waited until the man had |
lowly put it between his lips and then |
Re struck a match and applied the /,
ight. The man pulled so SLOWLY that !
he match had burned down to the |
yaiter's fingers and scorched them be- |
ore the cigar was thoroughly lighted. |
he waiter now helped the man on |
With his overcoat, and handed him his |
ane.
Goodnight. Mr.. Jones'" said bile |
;aiter, a the man toddled away. An |
ldistinct mum bling was the only re-
lv.
The head waiter explained. That |
IAN Jones'" said he. has been COM |
NC here for fifteen years ard always |
las the same waiter. He's a grOuty |
nan, but not bad hearted. He's a |
hronic dyspeptic. but Won see ne |
Won't deny himself much. You no. |
iced he didn't tip the waiter? That's |
because he pays him once week and |
He pays his meal checks |
he same way. The waiter knows his |
ia bits absolutely, and, as you saw, |
oes not require any orders. He |
nows that he wants certain things al |
ways. and understands his tastes well |
nough 10 be able to suggest salts |
actory menu every time. l have an |
dea the old fellow will remember his |
waiter in his will. He gives him lots
# presents, as well he mi ght, for the |
waiter does about everything except |
at and drink for him."
,noony and Didn't Care Who Knew.