The National tribune., 1893-09-14
A JUBILEE.
How Military Band Celebrated the Chief
Musicians Birthday.

How Military Band Celebrated the Chic
Musicians Birthday.
EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: The time
was a pleasant night; the year, 1876; the
scene, the surroundings of Fort Douglas
o. T.; the persona, the members of the 14tf
U. S. Band the occasion, our Chief Mu
sician's (Serg't Clause's) birthday.
A small Notification had been celebrated
on the same day on account of Drum-Major
Ritter's natal period, and we had been down
to see Jack Leger more than once before
dinner.
Now, there were some of our boys who
did not assimilate. The German element
predominated, as it generally does in all
bands in the q. S. service, but we had also q
few English and Irish and Americans, who
did not believe in beer; no sir. They wanted
the genus spirituOsa; so that we usually
found the band divided in two equal parts
one going for Salt Lake City and whisky
and the other for Emigration Canyon and
Wagner's Brewery.
Now, this party for Emigration Canyon
aud Wagner's Brewery was composed of the
German element, with one Norwegian to
leaven the different Teutonic tongues
We had violin, either, and a flute,
Drum-MajOr Ritter swinging a ponderous
stick a la baton for the string orchestra.
Everything went lovely. We sampled
Wagner's beer, sang some songs, and woke
the echoes with the waltz strains Of our
string music, and in the best good humor
with ourselves and all the world finally
wendell our way toward Camp Douglas, of
course accompanied with an eighth-keg of
beer.
We arrived at the cemetery. Here a very
lively council was held. Some one was in
favor of drinking the beer here in the GENE
terry the balance would have il in with us to
camp-a rather risky proceeding. We had,
OF course, permission to be absent from post
after taps, on account Of the celebration, but
our post commander and the Adjutant were
none too lenient with the rather often-oc-
curing celebrations of the band. Finally,
the majority gained the day for bringing the
stuff in and winding up the jubilee in the
kitchen of the band quarters.
We were very careful and quiet passing
the guard at the commissary, who, upon in
quiriDg what was that package upon Com
rade Walters broad shoulders wrapped in
blouse, was informed that it was the bass
fiddle, we showing as a guaranty Of our good
faith the balance of our musical instru-
ments.
The guard looked rather dubious, but as
the man with the bass fiddle" had already
passed, he nodded his head philosophically
and turned on his heel and walked off
So we were all right, and soon had our
beer in the band kitchen, and the amber
fluid went well after three miles walk.
We were here joined by the band tailor
Noble, who had been in town, and as
proof of this and his good comradeship
brought out a gallon jug of bad whisky.
Oh, it was bad, very bad, indeed.
Every one, on pain of FORGETTING his eternal
good will, had toempty cup OF this beastly
If we had been strictly sober
we would not have looked at, much less drank,
it. We were in humor that did not stand
On the point of very fine discrimination.
This was the straw, the very last straw, so
far as l was concerned; but the other poor
ads, good heavens, what ludicrous situa-
lions.
Well, Pieffer, the head clerk from Head
quarters, was found up in the garden back of
band quarters, singing the "Wacht am
Rhein," and pulling up carrots by the
Dushel.
Noble, the tailor-he that brought on
he last straw-was found in the Doctors
raising terrific racket among
he feathered population. He was hunting
lis beer, and it would not come.
Ritter the Drum Major, was found pound
ng time with his knebel, or shilelah, to the
une of Louderback, on the door of Head
quarters, which would not open, and which
lie insisted 10 the Sergeant of the Guard
vas the door to his quarters, but the
blamed Irish had him locked out, which was
he ~; of no hain
officer, and to be obeyed and respected &C
,ordingly.
Walter, our bass drummer, who had carried
he mysterious looking " bass fiddle" past
lie guard, was foand with the very same
,ass fiddle down in the cellar of the barn
litchen, where he had rolled down by acct
lent.
Our solo B clarionet was found sere-
lading the birthday child, in Serg't Clauses
,ig-sty; he having seen the said birthday
;hild home, in the effort to regain his own
quarters had strayed to the back yard, where
he mejodious strains of Stravella awoke
he porkers who, wondering at the unusual
invocation, grunted most decided disap- |
prevail to having their nocturnal dreams so |
interrupted.
Some of the Older members, whose heads |
we're more Injured to such dOings, escaped |
% their respective quarters without further |
erious accident. Your humble scribe found |
himself behind the kitchen stove, wondering
f the hereafter and the irOnworks were
lready here, as there was a positive evil
lence of such state now surrounding him
lis feet i'll the oven, lying on top of the big |
,aus, andhis head in the coalskuttle. He |
Yearly overhauled all his short comings |
nd ill-doings, and
Here the first call for reveille sounded. |
Adj't McCammon, as good an officer as ever |
rore shoulder-straps, let the serenading
'arty out after breakfast, and with an admo-
ition to go and do so no more-heaven |
ave the mark-the jubilee was ended
,ARL HARTMAN, Box A, Soldiers Home, |
Kan.
If any young, old, or mddle-aged man suffer-
ng from nervous debility, weakness, will in
I . a