davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
She Wanted Her Books auaranteed

~AAO w A4bCN A4GI DOCKS Guaranteed.
"Nol-you keep books here" she asked as
she entered a De tcoit bookstore and timidly
glanced around, according to the Detroit
Free Press.
~ es IN, we keep books " replied the clerk
as he softly rubbed his hands together and
wondered If they had sold the last copv of
rt5ashIul Bessie, or the Heroine Of Harpers
IL want a hook ~ she continued. "hut
want to look at the last page before buy il IS
certainly. miss. certainly We have no
objection to your looking at all the pages if
you wish Have YOU bought a book here in
which something was wrong with the last
No, sir; but friend of mine bought a book
IN chicago which ended by advising the
reader to try somebody's liver purifier and
YOU don know how dreadful she feels about
1t. Have you Paradise Lost':'
And will you guarantee that it doesn't
refer to somebody's sarsaDarillaE1
1 can possibly believe that il does"
HOW Is Dickens l wanted his Dombey
and Sen but m afraid he's got in some
thing about corn cures or porous Dlasters
Are YOU sure he HASN'T"
Why. l never heard of such thing in a
standard book :"
Nor 1, until lately. Shakespeare wouldn't
be apt to have anything in about stomach
bltters or headache cured in five minutes
now. would he:'
I've read him a great deal. and never
came across any such thing. However you
might glance over that set and satisfy your
self "
1t would take too long. she sighed. as She
glanced at the backs Of the volumes. L have
sometimes thought I would like to read
Toner HAD There is such a book, be-
oh. yes"
And you can guarantee it,
Il can. ma am / ositively guarantee that
You VIII md nowhere in that book the slight
est reference to germs. MICROBES. bacteria
consumption, asthma. bronchitis curvature Of
tn spine, varicose vefng or Indigestion
''ltthere is --'
You can return it and get your money"
"She took it and went away smiling an
happy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

DIR. Cook, Brooklyn man, is going to
vary the monotony of magnetic pole hunt
ing by sailing southwark instead of north.
The south pole has been neglected by our
scientists, while the north pole has been
the subject of their most distinguished
consideration The discovery of the
north pole would not make mankind anv
happier than the discovery of the south
pole, and since there is no need for the
finding of an open polar sea or a northern
passage from the Atlantic to the Pacific.
it is difficult to see the reason for the dis
elimination against the south frigid zone.
There are probably as many interesting
things there as in the north, and knowl-
edge of them may be more easily obtained.
1t is hoped that DR.. Cook will succeed in
finding the south pole and bringing back
a piece of it with him.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
The Mckinley BINS Promises.

From the Louisville Courter-JournaI (DemD.
Some OF the Louisiana sugar planters are
said to be claiming something like vested
right to the sugar bounty, on the ground that
the Mckinley Olll promised that the bounty
should continue until 1905. ana that, relying
upon that promise as a contract with the
government, they have made large invest
ments for the manufacture OF sugar. That is
not the only promise of the Mckinley bill
that has failed to be kept. 1t promised
higher wages, and wages have been redul ed.
1t promised prosperity ard we have had a
panic. II promised a great victory for the
feat me vested rigbts ,iea bas 5ons $40
queer service in this country. but il has
never before been called on for such a job as
this.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
Asked a Little Too Much

He came into the countinghouse. saws the
Boston Globe, and left an advertisement.
which read:
TEN lady typewriters wanted; state wages.
L Apply by letter to A. b. s. Co
Then he went out, and four days later he
came taCk
What's the matter with the ra2ery" he
asked the clerk.
Nothing that l know Of
Did YOU pvt that ad of mine in?"
"Of course Didn't you see it,"
NO: haven, thad time to look it UP, but
haven't had single reply. Are you sure YOU
put it in;'
The clerk got down the file and turned to
the wants. '
There it is" he said. whirIing the rapcr
around so the advertiser could see it,
He read 1t over carefully, and his face
lighted up.
NO woader didn't get any answers he
said curtly.
What the matter with it," asked the
clerk. hauling it around before him.
Read IL. commanded the advertiser, and
the clerk read:
I'EN lady typewriters wanted: state ages.
L Apply by letter to y. b. q Co.
The clerk apologized, made the correction.
and next day the advertiser received ninety
nine replies, and they are still coming.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

Two Canadian gentlemen, a prohibi-
zionist and an anti prohibitionist, are
making together a tour of Iowa and
Kansas, to ascertain whether or not pro-
hibition prohibits. They spent two weeks
in Iowa, in which state they agree that
there IS no prohibition in the
correct meaning of the word as ap-
piled to the liquor traffic. They arrived
arkansas City, kas., on Tuesday, and in
half an hour had ascertainad that they
were not in prohibition city. although
the local and state laws said they were
lhey called upon the chief Of police. and
asked why the laws were not enforced
He explained that there was a CITY ordi-
nance providing for the fning of LIQUOR
sellers by imposing a fine he added.
we make the police force self-sustaiping
If we enforced the state law the business
men would raise a cry against the in
creased taxation necessary to maintain
the police department" Prohibition in
Kansas is, then, upon the same basis as in
South Carolina-for revenue only.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
The Question of the Moment.
From the Chicago Hornld Deml.

rom the chicago Herald lDem.)
Chairman Wilson says that the tariff lii will
pass the House in January. and Senator NOor-
hees says that il will pass the Senate in
March. There should be no delay in the bill
Uncertainty is the worst condition in which
business can be placed. The panic is over
and the banks are full of money to be loaned
Tor commercial purposes. The question of
tariff reduction should be settled at the earli-
est possible moment that the field may be
fairly opened to trade and industry. The re
puUllCans viii obstruct business in all posi-
BILE ways ana the democrats must use a firm
hand in pushing LEGISLATION. The country
demands II and will be satisfied with nothing
less
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

Congressman Bland mounted his free
silver hobby again on Tuesday and rode
it into the House. The feat, by the way.
attracted no attention. The bill MIR.
Bland introduced repeats so much of the
act of 1873 revising and amending the
laws relative to minis and assay Offices.
as prohibits the coinage of the standard
silver dollar. and re-enacts so much of the
act Of Jan. IS, 1887, as relates to and pro-
vides for the coinage Of the standard sill
yer dollar of 412l5 grains. Mr. BANDS
committee of coinage, weights and
measures will consider the bill and re-
port it favorably, at an early day. it is ex-
pected, when it viii take its place upon
the calendar and remain until the tariff
bill is disposed Of Then Mr.. Bland will
call it up, make a fight for it and get
beaten
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

The republican press sometime ago
called attention to the fact that Gen. D.
E. Sickles, a congressman from New York
was an officer on the retired list of the
army, and that he was drawing a salary
from the army as well as from congress.
TheJ kicked up a row about itS of course
Gen. Sickles is a democrat-and de-
manded thai Gen Sickles resign one DO
sition or the other The question as to
the legality of his drawing both salaries
finally came before Secretary Lamont
who referred it to the Attorney General
MIR. OlneY has just replied, referring Secre-
tary Lamont to the fact that both Gen.
Adam Badeau and Gen Rosecrans,
officers on the retired list of the army, had.
under republican administrations. held
federal Offices and received salaries from
their offices and the army at the same
time. The precedent thus esta blished by
the republicans themselves will, there
fore, hold good in Gen. Sickles' case.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
New Sources of Revenue.

From all accounts, the internal revenue
tax features of the tariff bill are far from
completed. If the bill is presented to the
House next Monday, in accordance with
the present programme, a good deal of
hard work will have TO be done in the next
two days.
1t seems to be pretty well agreed that
the loss of revenues from the proposed
tariff bill will be about $50 100000. To
make up this amount it is proposed to
levy tax on cigarettes, playing cards in
heritances and the net incomes Of corpo-
rations. 1t is not fully decided vet
whether or not to levy tax on individual
incomes instead of on the incomes of cor
porations.
A tax on the net incomes of corpora
lions, or on individual incomes, will be an
exceedingly unpopular one. If it is de-
cided to levy a tax on the incomes of cor
porations, it will be claimed that many
comparatively poor people will be taxed,
while rich ones will escape taxation. 1t
is probable that the Astor family, for in
stance, own very little, if any, stock in
corporations. They may own bonds, and
these would escape taxation Nearly
all of their vast wealth is in
real estate, and there are thousands of
people who have large incomes who would
escape taxation altogether 1t would be
so manifestly unfair to tax the incomes of
corporations that the attempt to do so
would meet with very general opposition.
A small tax on sugar would be the
fairest tax that could be levied 1t would
be paid by all classes of people in proper
ton to their means. The poor man would
pay very little of it and the rich man a
great deal, and it would be paid in such
way that neither the rich nor the poor
would feel it to be burden When there
was a tax on sugar there was not much
complaint of it, and the restoration of it
would meet with very little opposition.
The bounty that the tariff bill allows to
sugar is undemocratic and exceedingly
distasteful TO the people 1t is feature of
the bill that is going to be vigorously at
tackled A duty on sugar would meet
with much more favor.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

George Gould has been sued to recover
damages in the sum of $4,000, on the al
legged charge of having seized a check for
that amount which he gave to Miss Zella
Nicholas, Is years Old ana which he re
fused to return. leila wants her money,
and has employed little Abe Hummel to
get it. George has a story to tell which
may astonish Abe and celia.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

A San Francisco letter in the New
York Tribune gives these interesting
figures as showing the net returns this
year of a tive-year-oId fruit ranch" in
California: ''Apricots, S2ll per acre
peaches, $3.50 French prunes, six years
old, 5000; raisins, $24O" During this
year another ranch has paid its owner 20
per cent. on 100000, another has pro
duced oranges to the amount of $500 per
acre and a third Of 5000 acres area has
produced 600 carloads of oranges worth
$3.50 per car.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
CURRENT COMMENT.
Anxious About Hawaii.

From the Washington Post Gnd1.
The message, as a whole is thoughtful and
dignitled. IT contains many practical points
made hereafter. 1t will be disappointing in
regard to Hawaiian matters. but we are as
sured that the President will soon be heard
from at length on this question, and the
country is used to waiting Otherwise it is
conservative and satisfactory. If it is not
great state paper If is because Mr.. Cleveland
set out with no intention of making it So
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

A Connecticut humanitarian has in
vented a rubber police club with which
man can be stunned without being seri-
ously hurt The Jacksonville city coun-
Gil might give this weapon a show in its
ordinance to legalize prize fighting. 1t
would be an improvement upon three
ounce gloves
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

The model branch postoffce at the
world S fair did a big business, it seems,
and the Postmaster General is highly
gratitied thereby. The gross receipts of
the Office for the six months of its contin-
uance were S64, 3os. 81, and the total num-
Der of pieces Of mail matter handled was
l5,l7S,3l3. This is estimated to be equal
TO the postal business of city of so, 600
Inhabitants
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
Waite's Hybrid Silver Dollar.

This dollar will be perfectly safe. as 1t Will
be backed in Colorado by the governor fun
and wei known lighting force. and in Mexico
IL Will be backed by a revolution in addition
to the republic. But seriously. these states
men have the right to issue all the money
they see proper to issue but it does not look
as though GOV. Waite was guilty of dis
courtesy in notletting into the scheme GOV.
Hog OF Texas, Give these tinanciers room
and II they succeed in -banshing the clouds
of depression from, the financial sky, their
names shall be called blessed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

The Baptist National Convention, now
in session at Augusta, is one of the most
important religious bodies that has met
this year. The convention represents one
of the most progressive of the orthodox
faiths, and one whose growth in the south
has been almost phenomenal The ques-
tions before the convention are of inter
est, not only to the church people whom
they effect, but to the public at large.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

Gov. Lewelling, OF Kansas, recently
sent an executive circular to the chiefs of
police of the cities of the first class in
Kansas giving directions as to the treat
ment of tramps. He wants them given
favors instead of cells In explanation of
this action Lewelling says he was once a
tramp himself, and, therefore, has a fell
low feeling for the fraternity.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08
How She Was Placated.

A woman boarded a Grand River avenue
car at Washington avenue the other day who
was hopping mai, says the Detroit Free
Press. The con IuctOr recognized the fact and
did not reach his paw d )wn and rest il on her
shoulder IN that benign and tatherly way n
had affected an slmmpr. In fact, he would
have lodged her u tDgerher. but she stCO1 in
the door an surveyed him from head to foot
Conductor want the number of the car
which pa S-t M ahead af vOu,''
IeS m-yery surr,. ma am, but don't eX-
actIy recOllect whether il was 256 or Il, 652,
he numbly replied.
But YOU know the driver"
Gan say do, ma am. Can't say I know
any driver but nv own. and he ISM worth
cultivating. Anything wrong ma ann"
''of course there is. 7 stood right on the
corner and hllt up my hand and he never no
tlccj me-,
on the upper corner"
Certainly"
Ana YOU held up your hand"
~ C~. SIR
And waved it,
OF course / waved it."
Very singular, ma am. Please let me see
your hand.
There it is" she snapped. as she held out
a hand which a No. glove would have been
tight liz for.
All. ma am. the mystery is solved"
smiled the conductor as the color returned TO
Ms iact. 1t no wonder he didn see a
DAINTY little hand like that Why il you'd
neIu up bolh hands and one foot he'd have
wlnked and bliuked and hesitated to stop.
thOu- MT II was funny. You ought TO carry an
umbrella OF palm leaf fan indeed. You had
unless you want police whistle with a silver
chIln 10 It, Ike some carries. 60 right in and
1t down, ma am. II hadn't ueen lookinA
rght at You l should never have supposed YOU
wanted my car"
She hesitated -smiled-gave her head
toss ana went in ana sat down. She did even
more. She looked out o. the winuow and
smiled at the conductor in a way that made
mn mn u tt4 on ms TO and whisper to him
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

The American silver dollar is said to be
worth 81 in Peru. But the two Peruvian
dollars are not worth face value in Amer
lea, or even in their own country; there's
tho Y,11b
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

The much heralded North and South
railroad convention met at Topeka on
Tuesday. This is Jerry Simpson. LEVEL
ing & Co.'S great populist railroad
scheme, that, they say, is to divorce the
west from Wall street. Calls for the con
venticn invited delegates from ten states ;
Kansas responded. All of those in at
tendance were politicians. There was
not a capitalist in sight and not the
scratch of pen from one. The nearest
approach to anything like the prospect Of
capital for the scheme came from a man
who said he thought he knew where
money for fifty miles Of the road could be
raised, provided the money for the bal
ance of the road was guaranteed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

Mr.. John Cadwalader, who is being
prominently mentioned" in connection
with the Italian Enthusiastically. which
Mr.. Van Allen declined, is a Philadel-
phian. and was collector of the port Of
Philadelphia under Mr.. Cleveland's first
administration.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

The grip epidemic appears to be spread
ing on this side of the ocean, as well as in
Europe. II has reached Kansas. In
Leavenworth, during the past week.
there have been twenty deaths from the
complaint, and it is estimated that half
OF the homes in the city contain one or
more cases. At Lancaster, Pa, eighty
railroad men are i'll with the complaint.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-08

Corner Loafcr-But, officer. we promised to
meet gentleman on this corner, and we
sho Id like o be permitted to stand little
longer.
Otlcer O'Male-Can't listen TO We. sor
We've got strict ordhers to kape the corners
clane. an If ye2 want to mate yer frind here
VEN have to go somewhere ilse-Boston
Courier.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-01-25

Here is an anecdote that j. Seaver
Page tells of "close call" he had soon
after Russell Sage had his "close call" ga
wild eyed man, with his hair somewhat
tumbled, entered our store, and walking
up to one of the statesmen held can out
at arms length and said, I want a quart
or vermilion, and want it quick The
salesman eyed his visitor sharply and
then said nervously: yves, sir W-wait
minnit and I-I'll find it for YOU He
ran into my Office and cried out excited
ly: Mr.. Page, there's man out there
with can Of dynamite, and he says he
wants quarter Of q millionr We'll, go
tell him I'll be out in a moment said i.
The wild eyed man was still standing in
the center of the store holding out the
can when came ont, What is it you
want, my friendY said very nervously.
1.-The man was beginning to get angry.
"A quart er vermilion, he shouted, and
want 1t pretty quick viii you take
a check? No. What do want with q
check? tell you / want quart er YER
million Say that again, and saw it
SLOW said. 'A--quart-of--vermilion,
said the man. 'Ohr exclaimed, intense
lyrelieved and wiping perspiration beads
from my brow. Here. get this man
quart of vermilion and don't charge him
anything for it. New York World.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-01-25
Like Mother. Cooking.

An enterprising baker advertises
"mince pies like mother used to make.
There is something queer about the idea
that ones mother could cook better than
any other woman who ever lived. Each
generation of men, when they reach mid
die life, lauds mothers cooking, and
compares it with his wife's cooking to
her disadvantage. When that mans
boy gets wife Of his own he tells her
what good cook his mother was, and
so it goes generation after generation.
Now, according to this theory, the art
of cooking has been steadily deteriorat-
ing, but of course this is not true. Won
der il a boys appetite has not something
to do with the idea that his mother was
the best cook the world ever saw?-St.
Louis Republic.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-01-25
Big PAY for Little Work.

The number Of accidents which have
befallen the big steamship lines have
been surprisingly few. When mishaps
have occurred large sums have been
awarded for comparatively trivial serv-
ices. such as towing for day or two.
The Hamburg-American liner Suevia,
from New York to Hamburg, broke her
shaft off the Irish coast on Jan. 81, 1885,
and was lowed into Queenstown harbor
by the tramp steamship Istrian, bound
from Boston to Liverpool. The Istrian
was awarded sea, 250 salvage.
The passenger steamship City of Rich
mond, from Liverpool to New York, was
disabled at sea in November, 1882. She
was taken into Halifax harbor by the
tramp steamship Circassia, a service in
volving fifty-four hours of towing. The
salvage awarded by the British admiralty
court was 1856, 0O0. New York Evening
SIM
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-01-25
5GrEl>g}5sIN1LEQ
kS]S3'<3S9S
WEDNESDAY. JAN. Is. 1898.
AMERICAN BEAUTY.
COMPARATIVE MEASUREMENTS OF
GIRLS IN TWO CITIES.

The California Young Maiden Is Claimed
to Be Nearer Perfect as to Form Than
Her Sister in New York - Interesting
Comparisons as to Feet.
A sculptor's ideal of beauty is evolved
on mathematical principles. A perfect
woman is or II or heads tall; her
shoulders are two heads wide; her legs
are 81 to 81 heads long; her waist is 8
heads in circumference. But the size of
heads varies in women who are equally
perfect in shape; the head of the Venus
de Medici is nearly one-eighth less in pro-
portion than that of the Venus of Milo or
the Cnidian Venus of Praxiteles, which
was esteemed by the ancients the most
perfect statue in existence. The Medici
Venus is a slim, slender girl, whose pro-
portions resemble the statues of Psyche.
Living reproductions of her are more
frequently seen in New York than here.
There fell into The Argonaut's posses
sion list of measurements Of the pro-
portions Of young lady Of San Fran
cisco, who is looked upon as being beau
tiful and having a fine fgure-in short,
a typical California girl. With these we
have compared a similar ground plan of
a New York girl which we secured at
the time Professor Sargent was collect
ing statistics concerning the young
women in eastern seminaries; likewise
the measurements of Ballow's well
known ideal beauty. They compare as
fol1aSxvs,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-01-25
obeying Instructions.

When the new apprentice assumed his
duties at the Turkish bath establishment
the manager thought he seemed rather
stupid and entered into long explana-
ton of what he was to do. He particular
ly emphasized the command that the at
tendant was to "rub 'em without mercy"
During the day the manager heard a
great many complaints from his patrons
that they had lost their personal prop
erty. He thought that a sneak thief
must have come in to get washed, and
resolved to be on the look out. He dis
covered nothing, however, though he
peeked around most of the day like an
amateur detective, hiding in all sorts of
places.
Toward the time when the new attend
ant was to go off duty, the latter went
into the managers Office and began be-
having with much mystery. He walked
around like wet hen, waiting until the
coast was clear. When there was none
but himself and his chief in the Office he
tiptoed up to the door and locked it.
Then he produced from his pockets FIVE
gold watches, some diamond rings, a few
scarfpins and other articles, which he
set forth with great pride before the
manager, who, horrorstruck, recognized
the effects as belonging to his customers.
"You told me to rob 'em without mer-
Cyl" said the delighted novice, land /
done it. Do yer think I'll suit, bossT'-
New York Herald.