Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1893-02-12

ven had cub loot ana get riu 70 H-AA9
yonr bot for yoa.
why - Il, DO you SUPPOSE Ethel
ssast. with great. wens1erins eyes-
Il Go not know" ALL the abort. stout
iA.if - slas swung Der feet back and
fas1ll Ike . baby Il . high chair There
Are surely enough Of %. and sone u as
are gate rehI.ssi. loa know II Is NOT
ssE<relly believed tha< stout women are
rsf1et. A man may get - stout that
even the presidential CHAIR isn't hlz
eamlgh for him. and yet he viii Eet
Ice any prestige. but let LADY
along about - 70 ~ begin 70 weigh vel
AMI shnn the slot snsehine-. and then
siranzsrs Ia crowd lock upon her IS
thsy would on . man who rides on one
railroad ticket and carries . hive OF blsy
bees with hun in the same seat. or pats
ths hive there, at ieast. and lets the beos
select their own STATS
~Tas, that i 80" said Ethel. hut
th,sso who know you love you II you
ars stout. That's more than some IAN
s4y whom know q
Il hope So s4id the short. stout lady.
with tear in her e,ss as she tried % get
her oyershoo on by kicking Il against
the other foot. bat only succeeded IN
frscfuring q whalebone or two and tip
ping her hat down over her nose.
There ought 10 he some recornpense.
We are ashamed TO ask for clothing OF
cur rize, and nobody ever attempted 20
design anything for Us especial for
we woallnr wear IL anyway. no matter
how becoming it was. If IL had got 10 be
thu uniform Of the fat women Of the uni
verse. and 30 there you are
Then they both had 10 get of the train
there. and Ethel had 70 borrow q trav-
cling mans sample case for the short.
stout Lady 10 step ON as she got of tbs
coach
have not been richly endowed by ma
ture with the fatal Gift Of beauty. but IL
nigh. have been worse than IL u. though
whnn pass through car and aftsrward
look back and Sc tine passengers exam
insng their watches 10 see II they are
still running l can think of the short.
stout lady and say. What II !. too. had
been thuss
Written Ia a childish hand comes a
request from little Alonzo Belcher %
East Rswlse's Center asking this paper
how he can cure soreness OF the tongue.
Alonro. il seems. during the cold weather
Wa acting u understudy for Improperly
man at East Rawlse's Center. and one OF
the other stage hands. bright young
whaleback farmer. got Alonzo 10 accept
. wager that he tAlonzo) could not erase
with his tongue the name of Pistache
Oleson. tho rising young Swedish night
ingsle and child wonder, which she (MiS'
Oleson) had written in blue chalk on the
gas pipe Of her dressing room while al
the Grand Opera House Of East Rawlse's
Center
Alonzo accepted the wager and now
writes 10 ask about what he shall do,
Alonzo has q large. copious tongue
which almost encircled the gas pipe. and
outlines Of il may still be seen there
For one night The and the opera house
occupied the same apartments. The next
day they logged along together till about
noon. when the other stage hands told
the authorities. and steps were taken &c
arrange IL so that the opera house and
young Belcher could be used separately
/ You see, yon dare not cut out piece
Of gas pipe that way for fear OF ssphyxia
ton, and they could not cut IL of al the
meter. II seems. as the company had az
ranged IL 50 that gas would be ICON
sumed" every evening. whether the house
was opened or not. and they did not SEE
how they could change il.
\ hot shoehorn. however, was ap
piled 10 the tongue. and soon the LITTLE
sufferer was removed from the real Is
! tate and again became his own persona.
/ property.
he went home. he exclaims in the let
ter. feeling Ike q man that has a redhoi
cutie bone in his mouth and cannot gel
I IL ont. Ever since then be has com
municated with the outside world Who'll
~ by means Of the pen. No one car
even think Of his great sorrow without
n bitter and somewhat brackish tear.
How puny are our efforts when we
I find ourselves IA the act Of violating q
great natural lawl We must not get on
the mighty turntsble Of creation or try
to cross the side tracks Of solar systems
unless we are employees.
Mr. Belcher VIII do well to battle the
spre place with witch hazel as often as
the IDEA occars to him. aud keep piece
IF oiled six between the tongue and rooi
q thu mouth. - that the two shall not
unite and become one grand whole, te
the injury Of the grand hole that he has
been IN tie habit Of swallowing through.