St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-06-05

1t is my firm belief that more hus-
bands are spoiled by the foolish self
sacrifice of young wives than by the
return of habits that held the mastery
over the men before marriage. A loving
and energetic girl marries the man she
adores, and naturally feels that. having
given herself to him, there should be no
limit 10 her self-surrender. She does
everything for him that she can think
of. 1t is Incredible, sometimes. the
things that young wives are willing.
yes, anxious to do for their newly
acquired husbands. Suppose that they
go to housekeeping as the majority of
young people do, and being an econom-
ical little soul, she decides that she will
do her own work. The new husband
agrees, of course. She will enjoy the
perfect freedom from the restraining IN
fluence of third presence in the dear
little home immensely, he thinks. and
congratulates himself on having found
so sensible and economical wife. The
first mistake the wife makes is IN get
ting up to make the breakfast fire. But,
poor dear. she does not suspect it, per
haps never traces the evil results that
spoil her life back to that simple mis-
take. But this is The way it works. She
makes the fire while he SnooZeS COM
fortably in bed; by and by he leaves
some other disagreeable duty for her
to attend to, and she assumes that for
those uncomfortable things that have to
be attended to by some one, or theffam-
ily life could not go on. Gradually the
man who has been allowed to shlrk all
the disagreeahle things onto his wife
begins to feel the least little bit of con-
tempt for her, because she is willing to
at least act as if she were willing to do
those things that he disliees SO much.
She begins to think that she Is lacking
in delicacy or she would not accept
these things so quietly, and she feels
that he thinks 80. Often a kind of
proud self-control prevents her showing
that she feels that she has been un-
justly treated. She will not make !
a demand for consideration from
one whose duty it is and
whose pleasure it should be to save her |
from everything that is unpleasant that |
he can. And so her heart grows hard |
and bitter toward him, and the love that |
beautified life and gave it sanctity and |
jest dies. And so comes to them, as TO !
many others, state of affairs so that
they live together, as so many do, suf-
fering each others foIbles by accord, and
neither exactly one nor two"
The Kitchen fire in the morning may
not be real tangible fire. but it repre-
sentS crisis in married life. My dears,
let an old woman give you a bit
of advice. Don't cheaper your
self 10 YOUR husband. Reserve
to yourself certain rights; the
right to your own body, the right
to proper consideration, the right to be
cared Tor. and cherished, that you eX-
pected when you promised to marry the
man you loved. Men are so constituted
that they do not so much value things
that are showered upon them. 1t is as
true in married life as in any other. The
delicate, appealing woman is the one
who keeps the big, laundering husband
in leading strings. Love him all you
can, and show him that you do in deli
ways. but don't allow yourself to be-
come his lackey or forget that it was
your delicate softness that first at
tracteu him to you.