Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-05-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Long may it wave-The ocean
Truth.
Nothing less than a strike arouses q
bass drum to action. Free
Press.
Let it be understood that there are
popular facts as we'll as popular fall
lacies. Truth.
'I'm feeling dead rocky" as the
petrified fish remarked to itself. -Har
ward Lampoon.
Love is frequently satisfied with
quantity; but friendship demands
quality. Puck.
A girls conversation must appear
fowery when she ''talks through her
hat. Statesman.
A man may itch for Office, but it is
the voters right to do the scratching.
Boston Courier.
'I'm IN pretty pickle" as the fly
said when he fell into jar of red cab
bage. Texas Siftings.
The only bright spot left by some
men is the secured place on the chair.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Since the introduction of electricity
the street car horse has been gradually
losing his pull Buffalo Courier.
There is something wrong with the
mans head who falls down on the same
b mana skin twice. Rams Horn.
they can dsinfect and quarantine,
And work as hard as beaver
To make the country sweet and clean,
But they can't keep out spring fever.
Kansas City Journal.
In the summer perhaps we can turn
the big postage stamps wrong side up
and use them for fly paper. = Washing
ton Star.
When a crate of crockery falls
through an elevator shaft it's little
the worse for the ware. -Binghamton
Leader.
They make the man in charge OF a
steam fog signal do considerable whls'
Ting for his pay before he gets It,
Buffalo Courier.
'1t's wise monarch said the man
who abdicated precarious throne,
"who knows enough to come IN out OF
the reign. Washington Star
cts pretty hard on man OF my
age to have to depend on his looks,
said the astronomer as he put his eye
to the telescope. Washington Star.
Charlie" "Why did they bury poor
Glider at night?' ?'' Archie-''He had no
decent clothes but dress suit. Tho
Clothiers' and Haberdashers' Weekly.
She-"So you're fully determined to
marry her, are you?" He--"Abso'
lutely" She-"H'm Don't you ever
feel sorry for ?"-Detroit Tribune.
Clara-"Did you know that Mrs.
bangle had gone on trip to Ber.
muda?" Maude-"No. L must call
ON her before she gets back. '-FoSue.
Whenever the piano ceased
There was great furore,
And those who understand II least
We're loudest to encore.
kansas City Journal.
Mrs. Goodwm-"You shouldn't eat
so many peanuts, johnny; you'll be
having dyspepsia. johnny the
policemen have dyspepsia, mamma'
Life.
She-'.A poor painter Why, he
saws that he is welded to his art. He
-'.Perhaps that is the reason, then,
that he dares treat her SO badly. -
Truth.
A woman is keeping in book list
of things she ought to purchase, but
cannot afford 10 wear She calls the
book her ought-to-buy-ography New
York Clipper.
About the most discouraging thing
that comes To man in this life IS the
desire to whip an enemy, coupled WITH
the belief that lac cant do it.--Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Extract From Love Letter SHOULD
YOU fail 10 reciproeate my affection,
then please return this letter, IN order
that 1 NAV use Il ON another occasion,
Fliegende Blaetter.
Customer" What's che price Of
your tallow candlesf' Dealer Five
cents apiece hf,y cents a dozen. "
CUSTOMER "woll, lct ms have
twelfth of "a dozen
II don't knos which IL soi a, "
laneuilly remarked the European
monarch 40 he read ~ another attempt
ln his life, my people's ilslosaity or
their Workmanship. " -- Washington
star.
Mis- Elder Il think a was real
mean ia Yon "a tell Mr. Spatts VAS
lwents eight ssafs oil = Niss fossliek
why. yon surely di,ln saut me
~ tell hisa hos old you really ssfe
Vogue.
Little Beth Ca the eoaniryl
'firanLi,apa, yea masi hats " ksep "a
sslui lol - rolies ulen ent hero.
Giranapa Why. itsshf hfsh oh.
there's such - Il s4ass - keep ~