The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-08-03
puNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

Mrs. Goodhash-"You are never
troubled with tramps. What do you do
that keeps them aways" Mrs. New
cook always give them a meal. -
later Ocean.
Hated to Take Chances. Come.
Tommy, expect your uncle to-day,
and you must have your face washed. :"
|ssYes. ma, but s'posen he don't Gomez"
|>-Arkansas Traveller.
-sDid Bilkem leave anything when
he died?" YES; his creditors. They're
The worst left lot you ever saw. buff
falo Courier.
--Revivalist-"Did they experience
relieion?" Deacon-"Not as well as |
expected; the rake-off only shows
ttL34"-N. Y. Times.
-"Have you had good time this
summer, Willie9" YES" replied the
young man. DO you miss your SCHOOL,"
Mot much. But guess mother does. -"
Washington Star.
Dreamy Novelist-"What a change
woman can make in a mans lifel"
Victim Exactly, and what a lot of
schange' she requires doing it. Chips.
First Traveler-"What is your
businessg' Second Traveller (haught-
ily,--''1 am a gentleman, sir" First
Traveller How long have
you been out of worl?"-N. Y. Herald.
1t was an awfally mean thing for
her 10 say, but, neve,t heless, when
Id observed that he wondered
yz5ws felt to be donkey, she replied:
"Why. Mr.. Sappy, can't you define
your observation-disclosures Bazaar.
4-Fred-"What do you think of my
araament?" Will-"Sound-most GER
taihly sound" Fred-"And what
elsks" Will-"Nothing else-merely
sound. Boston Globe,
THE Wife-'Of course, I can make
allowance for little heat Of temper
1t isn't every man that can be master
of himself" The Husband-"No, if he
has wife. IN. Y. Press.
Ted told me last night that was
the only. girl he had ever loved. ="
''lSah, he proposed to me three months
ago" Now know what he meant
when he said there were some I'M
pleasant incidents in his past life. y
Inter Ocean.
Mr.. South-"rll buy some of those
new searfs you so much admire if you
refer me to somebody TO tie the knot. "
Miss North-"Why don't you see our
pastor?'-Clothier and Haberdashers'
Weekly.
-Teacher-"Tell me, Alfred, who
helped you in your composition"'
Scholar Nobody, sir" Teacher-"I
want you to tell me the truth. Now,
was it not your brother2" Scholar
Mo, sir; he did it every bit himself"
--"Do you have any trouble with
your freaks2" asked the visitor of the
dime museum man. "Lots of it." re-
tarned.the keeper. "The ossified man
is always kicking; but guess he won't
kick much more" why not@ Have
YOU given in TO him?' Mo; but told
him the next time he growled I'd give
him to the Jog-faced boy for lunch. -
Harpers Weekly.
-Mahel-"Do look, Florence! Dia
you ever see such an extraordinarily
ugly mani And vet he must have found
some woman TO marry him, for that
It'd he has with him evidently be-
longs to him" Florence-"Why, Mabel,
the child proves nothing. 1t may be
only grandehild after all"-London
Punch.
--sGive an example of natural in
ference" the college professor said.
well, sir" replied the student IF
you should meet a carriage some sun
.aAv n ftaSno,o with a v.N,,,,tr man an thsA
front scat and another young man and
pretty girl on the back seat, a natural
Inference would be that they were
going after another pretty girl, Som
orville journal