The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-09
TIRED MORTAI S.
SPRING TIME REMEDY FOR WARY
ACTORS, EDITORS. POETS, E1C

! Denounced-ResuIts Of Acting Good
or Evil Parts-Infuence Upon Ones
Charecter-Cheerfulne the Panacsa
for All uls-A Smile Impsrts Happi-
ness.
CCopvri0htl
| NEW York, April S.-The time OK the
year has arrived when you are cons
cious of nothing in the world except that
| tired feeling" When you are impelled Co
move, to hate yourself and every body be-
longing to you and, while you despise your
self for the feeling. you are conscious OF an
/ inclination TO choke somebody. on read
poetry and wonder how the man ever dared
publish it; you read prose and salT con-
/ temptuously at the man calling himself a
novelist; then, If you are woman, you sit
down and weep, and if you are man you
go out and take a walk. It IS the time OF
year when you feel that in the giving out
| of good things you have been forgotten.
! This may sound like medical ADVERTISE
ment. il is not. No medicine is thought
of, save that jubIlsuJ mixture, sulphur and
| molasses.
This Is good for all ills the flesh Is heir TO.
| 1t is a combination that may be taken with
! IMMUNITY and teaspoon, from the Youngest
pup up 10 the master Of the house. IL Is
! guaranteed to make the coat OF the first
more shiny and the temper OF the lest more
! even 1t 10 highly commended TO editors
! who have TO get up a "Womans own Col
| umn, and it is equally desirable for house.
keeper who has to cater to man who
| wants his bill Of fare changed every night,
and who doesn't cot roast beef. 10 is COM
mended to young man in love,
whose complexion is not all 1t might
| be. and to the young woman
who is being loved and whose eyes
| have droopy look. It will encourage the
coming novelist, and make the actor
more human. if he doesn't act better. For
| my own part, SO strong believer am in
this gentle compound that | think 1t would
even make bad actor better Consequently
managers ought to buy it by the ton-tbee
is to say, the sulphur by the ton and the
molasses by the gallon. l adore giving
prescriptions fool does. There ars
men who go to work and study out the
why's and wherefores of humanity physic-
ally, and then, when humanity Physically
is out OF order, they know what will make
it well again. But the world is trimming
over with people who don't know anything,
like you and me, and who just dance in and
say what we think the patient ought to
have. Sometimes we kill him, sometimes
doctor, and il we cure him we take the
credit to ourselves. The unseldshuess OF
humanity Is beautiful.
NEW YoRK's QUEER FADs.
But to return to sulphur and molasses,
which l do with great regularity every
spring. and which Buffalo Bill, the pup. is
also taking. I would like to say
that there are some actors l
would enjoy seeing dosed with men,
tai sulphur and molasses New York gets
its fads, and it insists, or, rather, wants to
insist, on everybody accepting that fad.
Aud this is Just the result Of looking at them
from the front, and concluding in my heart
Of hearts how provincial and cocky New
York is, to expect all the other towns to
swallow its ignorance.
II is curious how one can look at things
and people, and il one Is quite iudepend-
dent, say, 60 80 1 will think as l lisp I
never heard anybody say that, but it sounds
very nice, and it is what l mean. You and
l both 60 to the thester, and D, what we
endure! We read a lovely notice about
so and So, the great character actor"
and we wish that him or her had
nothing about them. That may be
bad grammar; I don't know whether it
is or not. The sulphur hasn't affected me
dramatically. as yet. Somebody comes on
and initiates a so-called gentleman's serv-
ant; and you feel perfectly certain il a
gentleman ever had a servant like that he
would have introduced his bootmaker to
the servants tailor within Que half hour
after his appearance. Then somebody olse
comes on as the lady's maid, and wears q
cap and diamond earrings, and takes the
center Of the stage In the drawing room,
and addresses the company assembled, and
you feel that the lady must have forgotten
all that she ever read that Mrs Sherwood
wrote about etiquette or would have boxed
that maids ears.
SOME ODD CHARACTERS
Then some of them go to other extremes
and produce what they call naturalism,
which isn't half as natural as when your
babies or mine "play LADY, in the nursery.
People come on and do things that in decent
society they would be cowhded for. Tho
base villain tells OF his c1nquests, and how
he has won the village maid, and people of
good breeding are expected to be interested
in It; and then be kicks the village maid and
she means aud dies. Whereas in real life the
village maid would get mad and hit the viii
lain IN a way that would DO living lesson
to an athlete. By-the-by, the village maid
is greatly overTated. I once knew a village
maid, and her one desire seemed to DO tcstrike
the primrose path Of dalliance and she an
peared a little surprised that million
aires were not waiting around to
lead her there instead of permit
ting her to act as maid-servaut la a
boarding house. Tho village maid is more
knowing than one would think l like the
villain, l like the village maid, like the
stern. parent, | like the fool OF mother. 1
like SAe baby brother, l like the gentle
clergyman on the STAGE but O, | do wish
in these spring days that the villain
wouldn't appear in dress clothes at II O'clock
IN the morning, and that the village maid
would not come in from hsying dressed in q
stiff white frock and little blue sash, and
crowned by leghorn hat trimmed with
blue ribbons. don't pretend to deny that
the combination expresses innocence, but 1
think If she left OF SONS Of the rouge and
had more possible get-up, she would look
equally innocent. Then l don't see why the
clergyman should always talk through his
noBe this does not seem peculiar to any de-
nomination on the stage, but to all And as
l understand things nowadays, the firsJ
thing preacher learns is how to speak
we'll.
viii you please tell me why the stern
parent invariably hides his grief in q red
pocket handkerchief l never saw ANYBODY
use them and neither did you. Aud the gen-
tie mother is always gotten up after the
fashion Of the Quekers, whether she ia one
or not. These are said to be stage trndI-
tions. But you know after awhile one gsts
tired OF them. And what [ would like 70
see Just now would be villain in check
f,-nt md