The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1893-04-21
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

lOJ iOOklnB Ncll MI. Olooy-NOs Nltoc
Sharpe, I've a cold or something in me
head Miss Sharp (calmly)-l think
it must be cold, Mr.. Sissy.
New Governess timpressively)
Tommy, you've made a blot. Now,
when / was little girl and made a
blot on my copy-bOOk, l used to cry.
Tommy Earnestly What really I?
New Goyerness-Yes, really. Tommy
with contempt)-What a baby you
must have been.
WANTED, reliable men," read Mrs.
Bascom from the advertising columns
Of the paper. Then she raised her
glasses upon her forehead, looked severe
ly at her husband, and remarked, "And
the world'll wait a considerable number
Of centuries yet before it gets 'em."
IIbernian TO Accident Insurance
Agent-Be hivvins +! I'll whack the
snout off ye! Chargin' me g4 yester-
day to insure the old woman against ac
cident an the first thing this mornin'
she falls down the cellar stairs wild a
bucket o. coal !
Rev. Mr.. Wllgus-It has been only
short time ago that | read Of a drunk
ard who, in attempting to blow out a
lamp, caught fire and was entirely con-
sumed. There is lesson in that, my
besotted friend. The Besotted Friend
There is, fur a fact. lie had no busi-
ness lettn' hisself get so dry.
"There is no justice in this town."
writes a rural editor. sour chicken
roost was robbed last night. This
morning we caught the thief and carried
him before the mayor. His honor inn
posed a fine of So. The fellow paid
up, and, Notwithstanding we were need
ing the money badly, the mayor pocket
ed the whole Of i"
Her Notion of Immortality: Lit
tie Girl-Your papa has only got one
leg, hasn't he? Veterans little girl
Yes. Little grl-Where is his other
one? Veterans little girl-IPs in
heaven.
Somebody estimates that it costs a
fond father between $1,000 and 5000
to bring up a girl-but bless you she's
worth it when she has been brought up
right.-SomervIlle Journal.
Cholly-They say that excessive cof-
fee drinking induces softening Of the
brain. Miss Snyder suppose you
regret now that you have been such a
slave to the habit,
Mr.. jason wonder if animals re-
ally think? Mrs. Jason (who harbors
malice against her lordl-It they think
at all, they really think. They don't
sit around and pretend to think like
some old blockheads know.
OF Adjustable Age: Old Gentle
man(to little girl on the horse carr
How old are you, little girl? Little
Girl-Are you the conductor? Old
Gentleman Why, no; / have nothing
to do with the railroad. Little Girl
Then lm seven years old.
Very Decided: Callowby-Miss
Pert is a decided blonde, isn't she ?
Fink-Yes, too decided. You ought TO
have heard her reject me.
lie Tried to Fill Her Place: "My
wife is a great and noble woman, Of
wonderful domestic endowments.
"Why this sudden advance in your es-
innate of her.? "She left me to take
care of the children a couple Of hours
yesterday"
On the Street Car: Miss Gushy (as
Snagby prepares to rise)-0h don't get
up! Don't get up. Please keep your
seat Snagby Slightly bewildered)-l
Like TO oblige you, madam, but ! get
off at this street.
Not Wholly Useless: Sentimental
Young Woman Cooking pensively at
mummy)-Three thousand years ago
this was a living, breathing, palpitat-
ing creature, with hopes and joys and
sorrows, such as we have And what
has it earned by the preservation Of its
mortal part? Nothing but the con-
temptible celebrity Of being a curiosity
in museum Practical Escort-Not |
entirely, MISS Grimes. You take
mummy and grind it up and it makes
a mighty good fertilizer.
A good story is told at Melbourne Of
the late DR.. Bromby, the head master
of the local grammar school. As he
was hogging a boy, the lad fell against
a fender. The doctor picked the young |
ster up and said, most compassionately, |
"Are you hurt, my poor boy" mo,
SIR" replied the boy. The doctor then
went on Aogging him.
Harold, papa calls you a fortune
hunter. Pm sorry I'm rich" 80 am
/. Everybody viii say that you bought
me. Life.
The wise man always throws him
self on the side Of his assailants. It IS
more his interest than it is theirs to find
his weak point. The wound cicatrizes
and falls of from him like dead skin,
and when they would triumph, To- he
has passed on invuInerable. Blame is
safer than praise. ] hate to be defend
cd in newspaper. As long as all that
Is said is said against me, ! feel GER
tain assurance Of success. But as soon