davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Liar With a Big Fish.

sDear! dear" exclaimed George H.
Pegram to a covey of railroad birds
In the st. James, chow many liars
there are in the world anyhow.
Every small and large town has its
star liar, and my old town had one.
My old town was Chatham, Mass.
There was, when I was boy, an old
fellow of the name of George San
ders, who wore without an effort the
silver star of champion long distance
liar for the town and neighboring
vicinity. This fellow had been, ac-
cording to himself, lost so times III
great ocean wrecks. He had wan
dered naked and starving up and
down cannibal islands and been res
cued in a most providential manner.
Sharks and whales had vainly har-
bored designs against his life, and in
variably he had led them bootless
chase. In doing all this he had also
established his star reputation. One
day George came into the town drag
ging after him an immense Goldfish.
'sHe stopped at all the houses, he
was so well known, and calling out
the inhabitants pointed with pride
to the fish and said: Now, if l had
told you people had caught fish of
that size you wouldn't have believed
it. George knew his reputation well,
and he knew that to gain the actual
credit for his catch that he would
have to work for it. It always tickled
me to think that the biggest liar IN
town should catch the biggest fish
and then be compelled to drag it all
around town to prove it. st. Louis
Globe-Democrat.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02

may dance had rare opportunity to in
dulge in this amusement. These parties
given by the Chrysanthemum club are be-
coming very popular, and on every occasion
attract the beauty and chlvalry of the
city.
Nicholas Wright, a pioneer of Southern
Oregon, died at his home in Jacksonville
Tuesday morning MIR. Wright was Mex
lean war veteran and served through the
Rogue River Indian wars. He was highly
esteemed by all who knew him, being nott d
for his genial. cheerful disposition and pio-
neer hospitality. He was a native of Mis-
souri,, 81 years of age. and leaves wife
many years his junior. who attended him
with constant devotion during the many
months of his fatal illness.
George Belshaw. the veteran wheat raiser
of Lane county who recently received five
worlds fair premiums, as well as premiums
at the Centennial, New Orleans and Paris,
died at Farmlngton, Wash, Wednesday
morning, at the age of IS years. For 25
years he made wheat raising speciality, and
took the lead in his exhibits wherever they
were placed. Oregon has lost good citi-
zen, whose services were of great value in
advancing the interests OF the state. He was
visiting at the home of a son when he died.
R. NJ. Steel, the lumberman, says the
La Grande Chronicle, returned few days
ago from the east, one of the objects of his
mission being that of conference with the
receivers of the Uuion Pacific railway, to
see if his contract for the supplying of ties
was in anyway affected by the recent
change in the roads management. There
will be no particular change. The road
needs ties now, the same as 1t did before
and while Mr.. Steal was not informed as
to the exact number that would be required.
he was gwen an estimate, and as result OF
this information several saw-miils in this
vicinity that have been lying idle for four
or five months will start up again.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
FARMER BROWNS CONCLUSION.
Veil, the first | heard about ,em

Well, the first heard about 'em
Was through some boarders we had.
That talked about microbes and such thing.
Till own was fairly scared.
We've lived on the farm for thirty odd year
And been middlin healthy, too;
We've raised eight good, smart children
Which's as well as most of folks do.
But last summer we took some professors,
And they made my blood run cold,
For ghosts and goblins warnt nowhere
Compared to the yarns they told
About microbes that swim in the water
And fly on wings through TIE air,
That have feet to walk about with
And can stick TO your skin and hair.
They peeked over the edge of the well curb
To see if the bucket was clean,
And analyzed the pertaters
To find the paris green
That put on the tops in early spring,
Afore the pertaters was growed;
Then how they thought it could git inside
Was more than ever knowed.
They wanted our tomcat kept to home.
Because one of ENID heard of q case
Where cat brought home disease in its fur
Though there warn't one to ketch in the
place.
They went up into the paster,
To see if the COWS eat weeds,
For if they did the milk we used
Would be full of collie seeds.
They peeked in the suller and aired the barn,
Though allurs took pains to keep clean
And sprinkled cleansin powders around
That smelt wus'n any old dreen.
They hunted 'em faithful all summer,
Till kind of pitied the things
And thought to myself the Almighty was
wise
When on some of the kinds he put wings.
Well, after they'd gone away in the fall
Matilda she says to me,
"The best thing we can do, Caleb,
Is to let the whole thing be-"
So we come to this conclusion,
No matter what microbes might bring
A little bit of learning
Isa mighty dangerous thing.
Yankee Blade.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Do water wheels Run Easter at Nirbt9

Do Water Wheels Run Faster at Night?
For years the question whether
water wheels run faster at night
than during the day has been cata-
logued among the things which no
man can find out.
They do if they are SO geared as to
be affected by the varying fullness
and speed of the current in which
they are set. There is no doubt that
all streams are fuller and all streams
carry more water at midnight than
they do at noon. In the first place,
the increased GOODNESS of the air pre-
vents evaporation and subsequent
drying up of the smaller tributaries,
and, in the second place, the condensa-
ton of the moisture in the air in the
shape of dew is always sufficient to
add something to large streams and
their branches. Heavy dews are often
so copious as to be almost equal to
small shower of rain. We often hear
dewdrops falling from the overloaded
leaves and find all exposed objects as
wet as if they had Undergone shower
during the night. A large portion of
this moisture must get into the mi
mute channels, which of course con-
duct it to mill streams.
"Often, says Humboldt, the eff
feet upon a shallow stream is very
noticeable indeed" If it is at all
noticeable" a wheel turned by such
a stream would ''go faster by night
than by day. indianapolis News.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Pure Flour and Bran.

Those who mistake the -four of dirt
for a natural characteristic of -four
are not likely to be safe guides in
anything relating to -four Unrefned
sugar is noted for it's flavor" but
the flavor is merely the dirt or extra
neous matter in the sugar. So it is
with unrefned -four The stalk of
the wheat is quite as digestible as
the bran and is quite similar in COM
position. The bran faddists ought to
insist on smashing bran, awns and
stems all at once into meal. Then
they would have a meal in which
nothing is wasted-except the con-
sumer. The consumer should be
guided by experience. If bran agrees
with him, he is right in eating it. If
it disagrees with him, he is right in
refusing to eat it. The moralizers
who are trying to make out that the
millers are doing a great wrong in
making pure flour have everything
against them nowadays. Milling
World.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02

The feast of st. Barbara, like that
of ST. Martin, is a soldiers fete in
Italy. The heroic girl, if we may
believe an old story of the tenth cen
tury, was an angel of beauty and vir-
tue, born in a fortress where her
father, Dioscoro, was the governor
and also aid-de-camp to the emperor,
Maximilian. St. Barbara first saw
the light i'll Italy in her fathers beau
tiful villa near Scandriglia, a gift
from the emperor to his general, rich
with mineral waters, marvellous
plants, statues, etc., where she passed
the first few years of her life, and
where she became a convert to the
Christian religion.
The beautiful girl was hunted to
death, taken prisoner, her breasts
were cut off, and she was exposed to
brutal soldiers, who took possession
other, fastened her to a stake, covered
her with quicklime and burned her
to death, and this she suffered rather
than 'renounce the religion she had
embraced. This, at least, is the leg
end, and the artillery and the engi-
neer regiments fete her as their pa
tron, to whom they show much re-
spect and gratitude, especially as
they have half the day free and dou-
BILE pay.-London Society.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
A Dastardly Outrage.

The following from the columns of the
Albany Democrat, contains the account of
most brutal outrage committed near
Oakland, Ore: "a dastardly outrage was
committed on Sunday morning about l
o'clock on Thomas Sutherland, who re-
sides on his farm about three miles south
of Oakland, by two men who entered his
house for the purpose of robbery. At the
time of their entrance Sutherland who
lives alone was asleep. They awoke him
and demanded his money He said he
had but $40 about the premises, which
they took, and then demanded more.
Sutherland insisted that was all the
money he had. Then they took him to
locust tree and hung him by the neck,
trying TO extort confession that he had
more money. The limb broke, and then
they took him to the barn and hung him
the second time and left him and returned
to the house. Sutherland managed to
unite himself. They then took him 10 the
house and tied him to the bed, put paper
on his hands, lighted it, and burned his
hands to blisters. When the robbers sue
ceeded in getting no more money they
left the house, and Sutherland went to his
brothers house near by and gave the
alarm. The robbers wore white handker-
chiefs over their faces. One man was
tall, the other was short and heavy set.
sutherland has no suspicion who the men
were. They had no light when they woke
him uD"
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Morris-DeHuff Nuptials.

Last Tuesday evening Miss Katrina De-
Huff was married to Mr.. A. H. Morris at
the residence of the brides parents In this
city, Rev. E. D SutclIffe, rector of the
Episcopal church. officiating. The bride is
the Youngest daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. De-
Huff, and has resided in The Dalles from
early girlhood. She has host of friends
among her associates, and is young lady of
the most amaiable traits of character. Mr..
Morris, the groom, was formerly resident
of the city, but is now in the employ of the
Union Pacific at Albina. The wedding was
only witnessed by members of the family
aud particular friends. On the morning
train, after the ceremony, the bride and
groom left for Albina where they will make
their future residence. The young people
receive the congratulations of the commu-
nifty on assuming the new relations of life.
and earnest wishes will be extended to them
for nothing but summer sunshine and pleas.
ant breezes on the ocean of. life.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
How the su1tan's Food Is Prepared.

The food for the sultan of Turkey
is cooked by one man and his assist
ants, and no others touch it, 1t is
cooked in silver vessels, and, when
done, each kettle is sealed by slip
of paper and a stamp, and this is
broken in the presence of the sultan
by the high chamberlain, who takes
one spoonful from each separate ket-
tie before the sultan tastes it. This
is to guard against poison. The sultan
never uses a plate. He rarely uses
knife or fork-a spoon, his bread, a
pancake or fingers are far handler.
1t requires just twice as many slaves
as there are courses to serve dinner
to him.-Woman's World.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Railroad English.

Slang expressions generally origi-
nate with the railroad men, and a
person not versed in slang might
listen to a crowd of railroad men
talking for an hour without getting
the slightest impression of their
meaning. Consequently, when an
Atchison girl received the following
letter from her Apollo, brakeman,
she was somewhat puzzled: 'My
dear, I pushed the cons face yester-
day, and he told the supe, who put
me on the carpet and finally put the
can to me. l will have to lay over
on the hill for 10 days and will be
down to see you soon. ."-Atchison
Globe
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Mhither the Winds Bora Him.

It is said of an old time Maine
preacher, Father Blaisdell, who was
the pioneer missionary along the
Maine coast, that he would launch
his boat and sail before the wind, and
where the wind took him he would
land and preach. At one time, SO
the story goes, the wind bore him di-
rectly toward Islesboro. Just be-
fore getting there, however, the wind
shifted, and although he was within
a few rods of the land he turned his
boat and with the wind sailed off to
another town, where he landed, held
meetings and started one of the
greatest revivals ever held under his
ministry -Rockland (Me.) Courier
Gazette.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Pine Trees on Volcanoes

Every one who admires trees must
be interested in the result of Profess
or Heilprins studies of the pines that
clothe the slopes of the great vol
canic mountains of Mexico.
These huge peaks seem to have
pierced their way upward through
mantle of pine forest, which clings
to their sides up to height of nearly
81 miles
The vertical range of the pine in
Mexico is remarkable. It. is found
among the sun loving palm trees at
the foot Of the mountains, and it
stands defiant of the cold close to the
perpetual SHOWS that cover their
SUBMITS. Youths Companion.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02

happened to haYe his thumb over the
muzzle. 1t was lucky that it was his
thumb and not his head that happened to
| be over the muzzle of the gum"
Salem Statesman: The governors of all
the eastern and southern states have
wired answers to the San Francisco Er-
aminer to the following question: "What
Is the chief thing for which the national
gratitude should be evoked in thanks
giving on Thursday nextg AS the list of
governors of the union would be 1ncom-
plete without response from Governor
Pennoyer, his excellency made this char
acterls;lcally brief reply: Gods benefi-
cence alone"
The following from the columns of the
East Oregonian is one of the effects of the
Democratic victory last fall: "W. L.
Gibson, the sheep grower and rancher of
Birch creek, is the latest local victim of
the wave of financial distress that sweeps
over the country. A deed OF assignment
was filed this afternoon, in which MIR.
Gibson turns over his property to apply
upon the payment OF his debts. A. F.
Eddy is named as assignee. The assests
are given at $3.50, and consist principally
of sheep and wool. The liabilities are
S392l, the principal creditors being Wat
son 6 Luhrs, 5000; Alexander d Hexter,
$1,000; Pendleton Savings Bank, 1920;
Christy & Wise, $1OSO; E. Ii. Clarke,
1865"
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Columbian Stamps For Etiquette.

An elderly lady in a modest man
ner leaned over the counter of a
west end drug store, and pointing to
a letter with a Columbian stamp
asked:
"Will you please tell me if these
stamps are good for just common
use| When assured that they were
so intended, she bowed politely and
remarked asshe left: Il didn't know.
1 thought they were to be used per
haps for etiquette.
81 have to answer that same ques-
ton 10 times day." said the clerk,
''but / wonder what she meant by
etiquette. Baltimore Sun.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Questions About Change.

Did you ever start out with more
errands than you had time to do,
grudging every moment of delay,
and find yourself without your purse
when the conductor called for your
fare2 Did you ever see conductor
hold the pennies that some other
passenger gave in change till you
passed up your coin and then work
them off on you2
Did you ever think that you'd lost
your purse and make frantic little
dashes into any place that could hold
it and presently find it where it be-
longeda Did you ever take perforated
dimes and quarters in exchange for
good coinY Still worse, did you ever
hand up coin in good faith and see
the salesman ring it on the counter
and say IN G. P'-Boston Common
wealth
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02

The emperor of China has ennobled
the ancestors of Sir Halliday Macart-
ney for three generations. I con-
gratulate these posthumous noble
men, wherever their disembodied
spirits may be. Honor will no doubt
be most gratifying to them. The
Chinese are more sensible than we
are 1t is far more reasonable to
convert dead men who can do no
harm into noblemen than to make
unborn descendants of living men
into legislators, in which capacity
they may do much harm.-London
Truth.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Sleeping In Gloves.

There is an anecdote of DR.. Russell
the famous war correspondent The
most unenviable position in which he
ever found himself was not in battle,
but in bed As the story runs, the
correspondent was on the way to
India with the Prince of Wales and
stopped at the palace in Athens. The
king made an appointment with him
for an early walk DR.. Russell mar
rates: II went up stairs to bed. I
couldn't sleep. The mosquitoes bit
me to their hearts content, particu-
larly about the hands and arms. l
happened to havea pair of long white
kid gloves in my bag. 1 got up and
put them on. Iawoke in the morn
ing with the knowledge of having
somebody by my bedside. twas the
king, accompanied by his big dog.
It was 6:30l Isat up in bed. In half
an hour, Mr.. Russell, said the king,
smiling as he left the room, I shall
come back for you At breakfast
that morning, during moment Of
silence, the king, addressing the
queen, with a sly glance in my direc-
ton, said: Well, I've met great
many dandies in my time, but Mr..
Russell beats them all He actually
sleeps in white kid gloves. ;"
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Management of the snoon.

Use the spoon only to stir tea or
coffee; never use it to sip or drink
with. AS soon as the liquid is stirred
place the spoon in the saucer and
leave it there during the remainder
of the meal If a second cup is de-
sired, pass the cup with the spoon in
the saucer, not in the cup. Do not
drink from the cup with the spoon
in nit.-Housekeeper
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02

A most unpleasant sensation is
caused by the violent excitation of
the ulnar nerve due to a blow on the
elbow. This nerve passes down on
the inner side of the arm, and then
rather inconsiderately bends round
and enters the forearm at the back of
the elbow joint. Any one who has
felt his neighbor's elbow sticking into
his ribs knows that the elbow is re-
markably deficient in flesh. The
nerve is therefore at this point very
near the surface and has little to
shield it from a blow. If we are so
unfortunate as to give our elbow
smart tap, we obtain practical con-
frmation of the fact that the ulnar
nerve is the principal sensory nerve
of the forearm and hand.-Toronto
Mail.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
How A. T. Stewards Body Is Guarded.

The body of the late American
millionaire, Alexander T. Stewart,
was once stolen from the st. Marks
church graveyard in New York, and
the robbers demanded a ransom for
its restoration. The amount having
been agreed upon and the body re-
covered it was deposited in splen-
did crypt in the cathedral at Garden
City, and in order to prevent any fu-
ture body snatching the coffin is now
in direct electric communication with
the cathedral bells, which would
sound an instant alarm if it were be-
ing tampered with. Exchange.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Odd Comment.

One who gives public or private
recitations is certain to hear remark
able comments on his work Most
people wish for something emotional
and dramatic, where the color is laid
on with heavy brush and senti-
ment is rampant.
Il like to be curdled," said a great
Lady to me one day II like that
piece about child being run over by
train. Oh, isn't it run overs Well,
you think it's going to be run over,
and that's nearly as good"
Another lady once asked, with a
gracious and sunny smile, Don't
you recite anything about good
murder2' = Clifford Harrison in
STRAY Records"
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
latter Day Marriage.

Downton-So you are really going
to be married?
Upton-Yes, it's all fixed. We've
rented furnished fiat, and I've hired
a dress suit for the occasion, and
Marie has borrowed her cousins
wedding rig, and new caterer has
agreed to lend us his plaster OF paris
show cake, provided I mention his
name in the papers.-New York
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
The Remains of Pets as Ornaments.

A London lady of high degree
wears set in the jewels of her brace
let a tooth extracted from the mouth
of her pet poodle Another affec-
tonate creature uses the skin of
once favorite horse as a hearth rug
for her boudoir and has a defunct
pet pug mounted in a lifelike attitude
by the taxidermist for an ornament
on her writing table.-Exchange.
The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-12-02
Offensive and Exasperating Expressions.

Offensive and Exasperating Expressions.
In our own opinion the use of
common form" jocularities is most
offensive in those who think of them
as wit, though most painful in per-
sons who use them unconsciously and
as mere methods of expressing their
meaning. We feel that those who
try to force a laugh out of such ex-
pressions as my downy couch"
or committing matrimony," who
squirm into a smile as they ask if
"there isn't room for q little one, or
who speak'of ''japanning their trot-
ter cases." might fairly be shot at
sight.
When some excellent mother of
large and heavily facetious family
catches up and uses almost uncon-
sciously such phrases as getting
outside a square meal, the clerk of
the weather." ''she's no chicken" or
put OH your warpaint, and when
even the father mechanically talks
of performing his ablutions," the
sense of pathos overcomes all others.
Spectator