The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-11-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

No doubt the jail-bird often wishes
he could fly. Truth.
1t is the man who is always getting
left that talks about his rights.
Most of the things that Everybody
knows" are not true at all Puck.
Tailors and lawyers build up their
business by care in taking measures
for winning suits.
A short history of China: A seven
dollar tea-cup and a three-dollar SER
vant-girl. Washington Star.
A dollar in savings bank will ulti-
mately turn out to be worth two in an
old stocking. Boston Herald.
The tenant who spends all his money
on tear naturally has cause to worry
over the rent. nt.-Buffalo Courier.
There was man in our town,
Aud he was wondrous wise,
He kept his tongue, he stopped his ears,
And also shut his eyes
1t is the man with about SO. II to his
credit in bank that usually tries hard
est to stir up II panic. Washington
Star.
The highest form of sincere fattery
at the present time is to ask man if
he can change n 80 bill. Memphis
Appeal.
The walking delegate doesn't need
to be remarkably handsome to present
a striking appearance. Buffalo
Courier
A good many concerns that have
gone under lately have been sunk by
their floating debts. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Friend-"Well, Tommy, now that
you've started to school, what do you
like best?" Tommy Recess, In
ter-Ocean.
"Well, Anna, have you found the
rose for my hair yet?" eyes, Madam;
but now / cannot find the hair. -
Fliegende Blaetter.
Cuericus-"W was il that wrote
the song They're after me?" With
Gus. -"Adam, in all probability, as he
was the first man. The Club.
He went to get photograph
He posed in killing style,
The sad result was little else
Than hands and feet and smile
Washington star.
The true luxury of nn alarm clock
lies in its reminder that with n little
extra haste you can spare fifteen min
utes for another nap. Washington
Star.
In the search for the Western train
robbers, one detective arrested another
detective as one of the guilty men.
Detecting is u great business some-
times Baltimore American.
They didn't come with awlul hills
To present with savage stare.
For they were afraid he'd begin to tell
OF the things he'd seen at the Fair.
Chicago Inter-Ocrau.
"Life is song, snid some poet,
and he told the truth. But 1t is n sad
reflection that man may make his
existence as obnoxious to society as
some popular tunes get to be- Wash
ington Star
81 wouldn't he SO particular to take
the sand out of your shoes all the time,
Mr.. Noodle, she said, and then, after
II pause, "Your system might absorb
little. | think you need some. ~
Philadelphia Record
"A penny for your thoughts, my love-
In tender tones he said,
Then she told that visions OF oyster steVs
We're floating through her head.
Chicago lnter-Ocean.
All the wedding party were assem-
bled at the registrars. The bridegroom
alone was missing. At last he put in
belated appearance. He was hale
old gentleman Of seventy, Another
time, said the registrar, "come a bit
earlier, '-Sorntagsblatt
"Well, Aunt Rachel, said the young
lady in the travelling suit, "1 shall
have to bid you long farewell, " III
you're going in this train, e'am,
said the guard lsignalling to the driver
10 go ahead, ''you'l have TO make it
pretty short. Tit Bits.