Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-08-14
JUST FOR FUN.

|
You say Smith leads dual life? Ye
he's bull on the stock exchange an
bear at home.
Mrs. Bridie-Did you taste any c
that pudding I made for dinner? MI
Bridie-Yes; I tasted it for six hours
In the dime museum Visitor AM
is the bearded lady your mother? In
FAINT phenomenon - Milky; she's m
fadder.
Regarding Hoods Sarsa parilla, ask tn
people who take this medicine, read tn
testimonials often published in this paper
They will certainly convince you that Hood
Sarsaparilla possesses unequalled merit, an'
that Hoods Cures.
| Hoods Pills cure constipation by restoring
the peristaltic action of the alimentary canal
| They are the best best family cathartic.
Patron, Gin cigar store) L want
some good cigars. Dealer (briskly) y
Yes sir; good ones to give away OF
good ones to smoke?
He (speaking of presence of mind)
I remember of being in panic once
when lost my wits completely. She
oh, was that the way?
A woman is keeping in book list
of things she ought to purchase, but
can not afford to wear. She calls the
book her ought-to buy ography.
It Should Be in Every House.
J.B. Wilson, 81 Clay St., Sharpsburgh, Pa.
says he will not be without DR.. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and
Colds, that it cured his wife who threat
ened with Pneumonia after attack of "La
Grippe when various other remedies and
several physicians had done her good.
Robert Barber, of Cooksport, Pa, claims DR..
Kings New Discovery has done him more
good than anything he ever used for Lung
Trouble. Nothing like it. Try it. Free Trial
Bottles at HI. c. Pierce's Drug Store. Large
bottles, 5oc. and $1.OO.
Jennie Premier Cat the amateur the
atricals): 81 say, old man, have you
got the stage fright?'' Heavy Villain:
s'No; I think she's in her dressing
rOom!"
Butcher need a boy about your
size, and will give you So week. APP
plicant-Will I have a chance to rise?
Butcher-Yes, I want you to be here
at four o'clock in the morning.
Mrs. Earle = Your daughter has
been studying painting, has she not?
Mrs. Lamoye-Yes. You should see
some of the sunsets she paints.
There never was anything like them!
He-I am rather in favor of the En-
glish than the American mode of
spelling She-Yes? He-Yes, indeed.
Take "parlour,' for instances; having
u in it makes all the difference in the
world.
was troubled with catarrh for seven years
previous to commencing the use of Ely's
Cream Balm. 1t has done for me what other
called cures have failed to do-cured me.
The effect of the Balm seemed magical
Clarence L. Huff Biddeford, Me.
Mrs. Outwest Gin the Worlds Fair
lrt exhibit) -Silas, is the whole fair as
Door as this? Silas-No, sir. Just wait
ill we get to the Wild West show, and
hen you'll feel like you're getting
Jack to civilization.
Mammal hope my little boy, while
lining with friends, remembered what |
told him about not taking cake the |
econd time? Little Boy-Yes, mann
IA, I remembered, and took two
ieces the first time.
Teacher-What are marsupials? Boy
Animals which have pouches in their
tomachs. Teacher-And what do they
ave pouches for? Boy-To crawl into
nd conceal themselves in when they
re pursued.
A common cold should not be negle cted.
owns Elixir will cure it.
Young Housekeeper-Have you any
ice ducks this morning? Yes, here are
ONE nice canvas backs. Housekeep-
r-Oh, dear, / am so inexperienced!
think I would rather have the old
ashioned kind that have feathers.
"Pretty children you are for a min
ter to have!" reprovingly exclaimed
Somerville minister to his children,
no were misbehaving at the table;
nd four year old Dorothy spoke up,
Better change your business, pa"
During my term of service in the army l
chronic diarrhea,'' says A. E.
ending, Ha1sey, Oregon. ''Since then have
sed great amount of medicine, but wnen
und any that would give relief they
ould injure my stomach, until Chamber
ms Collie, Cholera and Diarrhea Remedy
as brought to my notice. 1 used it and will {
y it is the only remedy that gives perm anent t
lief and no bad results follow" For sale by :
G. Pierce.
Then Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria