Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-07-20
TEA-TABLE SALAD.
rest.

SOME men are so INDECENT that they
wouldn't even take their ease if they
had to go out Of their way to get it
YoQkers ,Stdtenadn.
WILL President Cleveland be merciful
to Congress and the country in prepar-
ing his August message, and cut it low
in the neck ?-Cincioaoh Times.
NOBODY can we'll blame those pen
sioners for preferring to say ''Reform
be hanged" rather than to suspend
Observation-Disclosures Times.
MOST other things seem different, but
fire-c~ackers make just as much noise
now as they did when most of us were
young. -.SomerciUe Journal.
WHEN man reaches the age at which
he is ready to settle down and stop Civ
ing his wife trouble, his sons have
reached the age to Decentralization
Globe.
AT the theater: Mamma, doesn't
papa like music % Eyes, my child:
why do you ask % "He always goes
out between the acts when the band
plays. Philadelphia Record.
Young WIFE-'Now, sir, I've given
you half my picnic pies, and you prom
ised to work for them -" Tramp
"Bless yer sweet eyes, mum, | did-as |
wuz eatin' of 'em. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
IT is not enough to take what comes.
Go after mething.-Ga!Uestou Neens.
AFTER all, the difference between
true-hearted girl and a firt is only tri
fiing.-Troy New.
''WEREN'r you surprised when he pro
posed?' mo. Why should [ be?"
Everybody else was. '-LJe.
"Do you believe in personal devil"
Il believe in everybody until l have
been deceived. "-Boston Transcript
THE fool seeketh to pluck the fly from
the mules hind leg, but the wise man
letteth the job to the lowest bidder
Memphis appeal.
The thoughtful man never mails let
ter with a new Columbian stamp on it
without wondering if it will 60 for two
cents.-Elmira Gazette
"DoEs Jaggs seemed changed any
since his stay at the gold cure % ayes,
he's able to drink any kind of stuff he
can get now. '-I,eter- Ocean,
THE young lady to whom [ became
engaged at the ball last night is hereby
requested to send her name and ad
dress to the office of this paper-U
.Sec0{s
"YoU'vE bought bicycle, Ell? Well,
that beats riding in street car, doesn't
it ?" ooh, | don't know. AS it is, old
fellow, frequently have to give up my
seat. "-1ruh.
BECAUSE patriotic Capt. Lawrence
once cried: Don't give up the shipn'
various folks construe it to mean not
giving up postmastership-- Phato-
delphiG Times.
"How do you like your new lady
help, Mrs. Todgers?" II should like
she was little less the lady and a little
more of help" -Tid-Btts.
YOUNG RoRTY-''What do you mean
when you say you are a gentleman be-
cause YOU are not in business?" Old
Hortv-'I mean sir, that to be gem
tleman I must have no business
Young Rorty-"Ah, [ understand now.
You mean that you have no business to
be a gentleman.-Brookly Life.
LITTLE ELLY-''Papa, the coniurer we
went to see last night changed a shilling
piece into fowern' Father-''That's
nothing to what your mother does; she
can change eo note into a dress. .
BGsler Nachrtcbten.
THE way out of it, for Australia, is to
set her pugilists to killing rabbits
Clere{dnd Plain Dealer.
ALTHOUGH rheumatism must be very
undesirable, many people seem bent on
having it.-LoreU Courier.
A DEAF man cannot be legally convict
ed 1t is unlawful to convict man
without Neutrality-suspicious..
IN a well-regulated family the olive
branch of peace is sometimes a stont
hickory sprout.-DauGs NeWs.
JAGsoN says the only way to make
home attractive to our boys is torrent it
to some other family.-Etmira Gazette.
did Bilkem leave anything when he
died ?'' YES; his creditors They're
the worst left lot you ever saw. '-Bnfa-
10 Courier.
BLouNr looked into the crater, but
the press dispatches don't mention
whether he took drop of it or not
Florida Times.