Iron County register., 1893-07-13
PITH AND POINT.


-''Ach, Adele, love you lilse-ike-
like ''Well, think it over, Herr
Fritz; perhaps you can tell me to-mor
row !''-Fliegende Blatter.
mo wonder De Boot likes classica
music. He is properly constituted.
''How so?'' 'sHe can disguise his feel
ings perfectly. Detroit Tribune.
do you suppose there is any dan
ger of his illness running into quick
consumption?'' ''Pooh, no: he's a mes
senger boy, don't you know. Inter
Ocean.
You can always tell the man who
has a free seat at the theater by the
calmly-critical way in which he alb
stains regularly from all applause
Somerville journal.
-Iiess-''That old Mr.. .Booger drinks
like fish" Snarleigh-''Nonsen a
fish doesn't place the end of whisky
flask to its mouth every ten minutes. .
-Raymond's Monthly.
II might have married half doz.
en- better men than you," said Mrs.
jackson Parke in the course of a little
conjugal tiff, land what's more, Il mean
to do so. o.''-Indianapolis Journal.
"A western paper says warm weather
accelerates the growth of whiskers.
That may be a reason why cyclones
come to play with them when the sum
mer is on.-New Orleans Picayune.
The Butcher( neutrality-suspicious.,
my reputation rests upon my meat. u
Doubling Customer-''We ell, if it's as
tough as that last steak you sent me, !
feel sorry for you. buffalo Courier.
-Minnie-''What was the trouble
between NJ iss Passy and the count?
Did YOU hear?" Mamie-'Yes. He un-
dertook to call her jewel and got the
word solitaire. - Indianapolis Jour
nal.
''You love to go to Sunday-school, don t
you. Dick?" Eick Hicks-''Yes, indeed. ?"
DR.. Thirdly-s'What do you expect to
learn to-day?" Dick Hicks-''Thed date
of the picnic. Punch.
-Willie-s'Come here, you little cub. :"
Fond Father--''William, don't let me
hear you speak to your baby brother
like that. He's no cub ''Oh. yes, he
is! l heard ma tell grandma that you
were nothing but an old bear!'
"A Fearful Blunder.-Head Hospital
Surgeon-''You'l have to take back
that last ambulance you made for us
and do it all over" Maker-''What's
the matter?" Surgeon-''Why. thun-
deration. man, you've made it with
springs. Truth.
Mrs. Clubbs-'I declare, Henry,
you are a perfect brute! You spend all
your time at your clubs and theater-
parties, and me, who should be your
second-self, you forget entirely" Mr..
Clubbs-''Yes, my love; self-forgetful-
ness is a noble trait; I'm trying to de-
velop it. .'-Brooklyn Life.
A Truth-Teller.-O Owner -"When
did your father say he expected to have
this job done?' Truthful James (son of
contractor)-"W l heard him tell
mother that if he got n certain job he's
looking after he'd have yours finished
by tonight, but if not, he guessed he'd
make this job last out another week"
Yankee Blade.
Doing Her Best.-Husband (who
has had jumping neuralgia" for two
I don't see why-oh,
oh, oh we were not born without
teeth! Ugh!' Wife (soothingly-'sIf
you had only stopped to consider it, you
would not have made such remark,
dearie. For, yon know, we really were
born without teeth. Truth.
What shall we do with our living
is a question that is engag-
ing the attention of the Louisville au-
thorities. a Snowman brought a fe-
male skeleton from Georgia, but as she
was not profita BILE attraction, and
now he insists that it is the city's busi-
ness to fat her up to normal and COM
forta BILE condition. The city hasn't
been able to decide as to its liability
under the law.
BLowED ON THE OFFICE BOY.
How the Latter Got Square on the Blonde
Typewriter.
The Office boy and the blonde type.
writer had quarreled. It was over a
trivial matter, to be sure, but neverthe-
less they were on the outs.
Both seemed spitefully revengeful,
and when one day the office-boy played
off sick and went to the baseball game
the typewriter made known to the en-
ployer the youths sporting proclivities.
This. as might be expected, caused
trouble, and the wrath of the office
boy against the young lady with ninble
fingers increased more and more. Days
passed and the lad planned and dreamed
Of schemes to ''get back" at his fair
who stood SO well in the
graces of the employer. Now on every
there is small gong which
rings when the end of the line is
reached. The office boy knew this, and
rs he watched the prettily-tappered
ingers throw back the carriage at each
zap of the bell he smiled with fiendish
ylee.
1t was late in the afternoon. The
7oung lady was industriously tapping
he keys to finish the firm S correspond
,nce. She had reached the last letter,
md remarked to the Office boy that her
pest young man was going to take her
% the theater that evening. Hence her
hurry. This only made the Office boy
'mile all the more, for he knew that his
lime had come. His eyes seemed to say:
Revenge is sweet" The young lady
clipped the sheet of paper into the ma
'hine, and began at lightning speed to
write from her notes.
The youth watched the carriage slid
ng to and fro. He took from his pock-
t rusty nail, and, as the typewriter
wrote on unconsciously, he tapped the
,ell lightly with the nail. The young |
ady, never thinking. pushed the paper
,p another line and went on. Again
he boy tapped the bell, and again the
'oung lady turned the machine. This |