The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1893-09-18
he TURNED OFF THE GAS
The Star Athletic Clubs En-
tertainment Came to an
Abrupt Close.

Sadly disappointed was the Star Ath~
letic aud Specially Company that pro-
posed entertaining u large audience at
Kessler's Hall, Central avenu OF Satur-
day evening. Their disappointments
were manifold. Their piano player was
''boozy'' and refused. at the eleventh
hour. to do any playing on the instru-
ment whatsoever. While the managers
scurried around to ecure O piano man.
the people In the audience, OF whom there
mighG have been 200, began bowling for
the show to commence. 1t was nine
O'Clock before any one was ound who
knew anything about pianos. Even he
didn't know too much.
When everything was going smoothly
enough and q young boy was deliqhtiDR
the audience with Il badly mixed up can
can dance, the .'boozy" piano player
waItzsd down the middle aisle aud
shouted to the fellow VINO was doug his
best at the thing
"Schat's my pianer, young Teller
(htc(, an you mush (hic) gettup ="
Bang, went his fist on the keys. He
turned to the audience with al idiotic
grin and spluttered:-
HIS PIANO.
"'Sch my pianer, sch my schtool (hic).
gettup." The young fellow thought the
\ "a ~ Ao10
The piano player squatted down on the
chair and cooked his feet upon the piano.
Tue music a. ceased, SO had the show.
Presently a man In the audience. In a
deep. basso profuudo. stentorian sort OF
voice, that sounded like q broken bass
drum, sang out
go bite yourself. Petty"
The piano player jumped as II he was
shot, aud with something like mn rder
portrayed in his couutenance, sp Gifted his
victim and said:-"Wash 'at? I'll break
your (hic) crooked FASH"
He maze a bee line for the door and the
cau-can man on the stage heayed a sigh
that seemed 60 relieve the audience. Then
the performance went on. Ever and
anon the plano player opened the door o
a crack and announced, 'f'Sch my planer.
sch my schtool." Every body believed
him and didn't dare violate the mandate
to steer clear of the instrument aud
chair.
Things vert on until about ten O'CLOCK.
H GAS TURNED OFF.
Suddenly Proprietor Appel came rush
ing in from a back door. He made a bolt
for a small closet and opened the door.
"He's goin' to turn out the gas"
shouted somebody.
He did. Then in his pronounced Ger
man accent he shouted at the audience:
de show vas over for dis efening, latles
and shentlemens."
You're a darn liar" shouted the
manager. VINO had been watching the
gas grow scarce.
The lights went out and the audience
began yelling like MAD. Proprietor
Appel stood in a f1ittering shadow
aud watched the game. An employe
OF the place cut the string thas held up
the curtain, and down it came with a
thump. just thcn everybody bee ame
entanpied with themselves and eyery-
body else. Proprietor Appel fortih ed
himself bshInd the bar in an adjoin ing
room. The actors behlnn the scenes
hooiei and yelled as only maniacs do on
ordinary occasions. n the whole thing
was just about as Spooky aud wierd as
any Que coull want it TO bs.
Everybody managed to escape with
their lives.
THE NEWS reporter askei Proprietor
Appel what The lights went do wn for, but
the proprietor had rather talk about
something else.