The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-12-24
AZ Touching rnon Good Form.

| All well-rneaning books OF etiquette 10
| the contrary Notwithstanding, In THESE
DAYS of self-poise which are upon us
good form has come TO mean much less
or shall / say. rather, much more thah
in the DAYS that are gone. Good form
is now understood as meaning good man
ners that spring from a kind heart, ana
the writer's of the books of etiquette are
passing. as is many another false note IN
our system Of things. Now. shall each
individual be a light unto himself In man
ners? This is sure to be the rule OF the
future when we have attained TO fuil
understanding of what the hour now oiers
us in the way of education. the education
Of the heart: and the coming man ana
woman, being the product OF such educa-
ton. will be brought TO think for them
selves, and there will be no wasting OF
gray matter in the writing or reading OF
books upon good form. But this is for
tomorrow. What Of to-day? Here Is
case in point A man visitor. man OF
high education and calling. kept waiting
a length Of time for MS hostess, spent
the tagging moments in looking over her
bowl of visitors cards, which action this
hostess and her many friends denounce
as being extremely Inbred; and yet here
is almost case for argument. A book
of American etiquette, published ten years
samewas complied by one woman and six
men, with A. NJ. and 4. b. after their names
says, in chapter devoted 10 calling,
while waiting in the parlor for the person
on whom you have called, do not thump
on an open piano. nor walk about the
room examining pictures and other arti-
cles." Had we gotten no further than that
in 1882 even in Indiana? The average
New Yorker l fancy. would not be apt 90
l,fff oh
one looks at the pictures or books, or at
the cards that so often occupy a cOnspic-
uous place in the drawing-room, which
have been arranged, in the proverbia
nine cases out of ten, with method lot
far remote from that employed by Becky
Sharpe? IL cards should not be looked !
at, why is II not good form 10 put them
out Of sight with other merely personal
belongings? And, again, for what reason
do we spend sundry and goody sums
for rare and beautiful works OF art |
wherewith TO adorn our homes, If they |
are not 10 be seen Of men? We may buy |
them simply for our own enjoyment. But |
what selfishness lies back OF that motive
a selfstness that overtOps the spirit OF |
display! Time was when TO show the |
least bit Of interest In or admiration for |
the belongings or decorations of friend /
home despite ignorance of good form. but
that day has gone by, together with the
householder's utter dependence upon the
Will Of decorator and furnisher To-day |
Is here with its reign OF individuality,
and we may speak and admire with utter
rrankness, such admiration usually i'm
plying a compliment to our hostess. H. |
however, our acquired objects of art are |
not TO be looked upon by the casual
visitor, why not adopt the japanese Gus
lom OF slowing away in bags-beautiful old
silken bags, veritable herlooms they
use, for the japanese are nothing If NOT
Conscientious treasures. they 10 be
brought forth and exhibited 10 the elect
only among our visitors?
Let us welcome the simplicity that
'eigns these days in the matter of card
usage though, 10 be sure. a card means
more In this generation, in that IL is used
or so many different purposes-the formal
visit, the occasional note. the accom-
'animent 10 gift, the note Of introduc-
ION, luncheon, or a tea, and in New
ork the card is used I'm its most simple
orIn Tor the omnipresent tea IL Is only |
n smaller towns that departure is taken IN
ms mode OF entertainment from the |
esuiar visiting card, on which is written
he date and hour OF the tea. I have I'm |
nlnd some cards that I saw in a western
own bearing the hostess's name and ad-
ress, with "five-o'clock Tea" or AFTER
Don Tea engraved In the left-hand cor
er' the date added with the pen. This is
TO be sure, when one enter
ans constantly. but such Innovations
Jew York does not seem 10 have time 10
dopt. custom here places the hostess
Tea In debt 10 those who have the
oodness 10 attend her function. whereas
other parts OF the world this order az |
nings rs reversed. Thus while the New
orK hostess pays back an ipdeh,sd.
ess' she Is voluntarily taking unon mr.
slt a renewal OF the same. This bolds
ood, however. only with the tea. M
iore Important functions OF dinner ana
all place hostess well with the social
'orid In poiat OF indebtedness.-F |