The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-01-10
Monte chrls,o not init
THE ART or KISSING.

Ihey nave regularly established
kissing school OH Walnut Hills, with a
regularly ordained professor OF osculat-
DRY exercise, 1t has only been rum
ming about week, yet several have
graduated already, and seem mighty
proud Of their diplomas, Being anx-
ious 10 know something Of the modus
operandi, / called on one OF the pro-
fessors last night and asked him to be
kind enough to give me some particu.
lars.
"You see," said he, ~ am not exact
ly an American, having been born in
Paris, whore kissing schools are as COM
mon as business colleges are in the
United States. 10 BIO able to kiss well
Ia an art, and was greatly surprised
and panied to learn how very few
Americans can osculGte without letting
the Ontiro block know what ID going on.
sin Cincinnati you do all your kissing
too impulsively and without consider
ing the enormous advantage and ethe.
real pleasure to be found IN calm, cool
elaboration and generalization, My
wife, who has been considered for many
years the most refined and accomplish-
cd l;isser in Europe, gave q young Cliff
ton gentleman his first Lesson tho other
day, and when the operation was over
she was seized with IN attack Of YER
tigo. He grabbed her in his athletic
arms and very nearly squeezed her to
death. 1t win take him some time to
learn to kiss properly, as his education
in this science has been sadly and sore
~ neglected. My time is entirely
taken up in giving attention 10 tho Ia.
dies class. What Is there in kissing?
We'll, q great deal moro than you would
suppose. Just as much, ii not more,
than there is in eating.
Tho women here seem to make 80
many mistakes in their conversation
that 1t is sometimes difficult for mo to
tell what they are driving at Only
yesterday lady brought her daughter
to me and wished TO put her under my
care for instructions in tlrst-class pre-.
MUM kissing. The girl looked siCkly,
so said to the mother, "Your daugh-
ter, Madame, appears to be very deli
cate" Tho matron seemed somewhat
offended, as she answered, "Sir! / beg
your pardon, my daughter is very in
delicate" She meant to say that her
health was excellent, started a
theosophiCal school once ana my first
pupil got her money back because she
was OF the opinion that theosophy was
female complaint. But about kissing,
next time you 80 to soc your tlancee
don't rush as ii you we're about to ar
rest her for petit larceny, but go about
1t as quietly as II you we're paying her
street car fare after marriage. II she
happens to be sitting on tho piano
stool, just put your lett arm around her
waist, lightly, but deliberately, and
draw her towards you. This can DO
done without the mid OF derrick or q
pair OF nippera OF course she will re.
sist and may blush q little, but this
Is to be expected with anna
tours. She will turn her head
away. Don't let this discourage you,
but gently and firmly put your right
hand to her left cheek, tho hand open,
and draw her face around toyou. Then,
II tho clock doesn't stop, look her
straight in tho eyes for half q minute,
be careful not TO breathe too many
cloves in her face, smile sweetly, bend
your head down slowly, but surely, and
prepare for action. Don't pucker up
your lips. This Is decidedly plebeian,
and is only done by plow-boys and I'M
cultivated clodhoppers out OF work.
Allow your lips to remain as your
Maker intended they shouldS Don't
lot them assume the shape OF dough-
nut. Becareful not to push your mouth
against hers as il you were going to
knock out her teeth. Such actions are
confined to the lower classes and Grim
mails in good standing. When the lips
are forced together the teeth come in
contact with the lips aud form re-
sistance which is decidedly unpleasant,
not 10 say dangerous. The lips should
lust meet, and only the very slightest
pressure must be used. Then little
Chesterfledian motion OF tho gums by
the party OF the first part which sends
through the party of the second part 4
thrill that is JUNCTION to the soul itself.
Until YOU can accomplish this without
breathing like mule, 1t will be i'm
possible to graduate.
modest about their intellectual than
their physical attractions, for, however
low the corsage may BIO, the forehead
is usually concealed by a bang. Tho
West End girls arc decidedly better
kissers than the females OF the hill
tons, perhaps because there are more
churches there. That reminds me. A
certain church on Mount Auburn re-
Gently had considerable falling of in
attendance. Tho sexton said to the
clergyman, Suppose spread o report
flat YOU have boon kissing loading
member OF your ilockl" Tho clergy
man replied: "Er-some purely hctltt'
Qua story-would- tho pur-
pose lust, rs vol, l Think
"You would DO surprised to hear how
many roal old wealthy but .withered
ladies patronizo our kissing school attor
dark, Yon sec, wo advertise to secure
husbands for graduates, but don't state
these husbands require acortain. amount
OF cash down whom tho bargain IS Struck
and tho goods delivered.
IA well known society belle 10 In our
class now trying to drop tho habit oil
kicking out her loft foot when sho
kIspps i stranger. The habit was con-
trNcted IN kissing hor hand TO q night
pollCenian. NolsclosB kissing Is the
inost difficult, Whom our students
come they havo q habit OF sinacklng
ioud enough to wake the dead. This 70
onlirely unOalled for. Our "Doacon'a
Clnssn 10 surprisingly large and reriu'
narrative, My vito will take o long
nepded rest fioxt month. She 10 threat
oned with cancer wish you could
have boon horO yoslerday,4nd hayo seen