The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-01-28
MI. and MRS. Bowser.

goat pibhling away at o piece Of
etovspipe la the backyard he
caught his breath and exclaimed:
"Well, Of ah the siliy things you
ever did this IL the worstl Got
goat, eh? Probably paid $40 or $I2
for him-and Of all the mean and
nseleas animals on the face Of this
earth goat is the climax! II you
are ever left widow you'll run
through every dollar in three
SnonthsP'
"Mr. Bowser," ,eaIInly replied
Mrs. Bo%ser, as the poat left the
stovepipe to hunt for Hshbones, "do
you remember when yon bought
~ horse for $25O?"
"What of it?"
"Nothing, except that in about
ten days you sold him for 500 and
WAS tckled to death to get rid of
him. You bought him for sound
horse, but it turned out that he was
wind broken, spawned, ringboned,
nearsighted, vicious, twenty years
old and"--
alt didn't turn out anything of
Che sorti You got afraid to ride
after him, and what could ] do but
sell himS And what has a horse
TO do with g9at? OF all the silly
senseless things - woman eyer did
this is the cap sheafi Fll bet 800
to II GENT you paid as much as $l5
for himw
after the horse came q cow"
quietly observed Mrs. Bpwser. ~
coaxed and argued, hut you were
bound to have Il COW. You paid
$40 for red COW. She was guaran-
ee d a new milk COW. The seller
guaranteed that she would give
ten quarts of milk u day. In one
week.
ain one week, Mrs. Bowser, you
drove me iuto parting with her!
you were obstinate and determin-
ed. You used to go out and annoy
and torment her till she was half
crazy. 1 sold her for 800 to save
her life, poor brute! Look at that,
goat chewing an oyster can! OF
all the fool things in creation
goat takes the cake! I can get
carload of goats for 80 apiece, but
l suppose you paid $40 for this one.
"And after the COW Il pig" con-
tinQed Mrs. Bowser, with sigh Of
regret. "You paid $12 for SO pig,
went to an expense of SIS for a pen,
and in four days you sold the pig
for $3.50 and smashed the pen into
kindling wood. You thought it
would be home like to have pig. |
You figure.d opt profit of $40 in
three months, but
"But what?" shouted Mr.. Bow
ser at the top of his voice. "You
were down on that pig from the
hour that got him. You used 10
go out and poupa him with the
hoe handle and throw boiling water
on him! / found marks on him
where you knocked him down with
II crowbar! / sold him out of feeling
nf mn II
ever put it into your head to pay
$50 or $25 for good for nothing,
Rquint eyed, sapheaded brute Of
goat?"
"Then came chickens, Mr.. Bow
Rer-$25 FOR chickens and $40 or $I2
for coop, to say nothing of poultry
books and Ratent food. You want
I'd to hear your own rQosters crow
in the morning. You wanted fresh
eggs from your own coop. You
were going tu make enough profit
on eggs in three months to pay for
everything. In ten days your"
ayes, in ten days l had to sell
what few hens remaiped alive for
~ quarter apiece, but why was it."
he almost yelled. "Wh0 vent out
10 that coop with baseball bat
and pounded those poor fowls into
the earth? Who sneaked out and
mixed paris green with their food ?
Who jabbed 'em with the clothes
pole until the neighbors threaten
ed to HaHe her arrested? ? / lost
money, but why? and what's that
miserable critter OF yours trying
TO do now bucking ag'in the barn
in that fashion? OF all the silly, i'd
iotic things ever beard of in my
life this buying goat sweeps the
board. If I'd even paid ~ for him
you'd haye Drained me with a
spade"
"And then yOn bought dog"
continued Mrs. Bowser, with II lit
tie pathos in her tones "He was IL
setter. He sat and howled all
night. Then came II patent fire
escape, which escaped $50 out of
yonr pocket. Then you bought