Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1893-06-16
JEFF'S BIC YARN.

him there.
All the neighbors, too were glad to have
him back.
jeff could play the fiddle and "call fig
gers" and in sooth he had been much |
missed at birthday parties and holiday
dances.
And if jeff had brought back no worldly
wealth, he had Travelled far on freight cars
and had many strange tales of the world
outside that were eagerly listened to by his
many friends.
The strangest of all of his adventures
was the one of "What happened to me in
Kentucky" And jeff told it this way:
you know it didn't take long for my
money to go. / couldn't get no work that
suited me at clerking, and as for common
laboring work, my years in the mines,
where it's neither hot nor cold, had unfit
ted me for work out in the sun in summer
or in the cold and snow in winter.
81 was too proud to write back to pap for
more money, and as l wanted to see the
world l guess l became what you call
tramp and rode from place to place on
freight trains.
81 did odd jobs for my meals and got
along all right until l struck little 1-horse
railroad down in Kentucky.
1.-THE train side tracked one dark, rainy,
miserable night, and the train hands come
down the cars and fired me off.
II wasn't unwilling, for l was wet and
hungry and miserable so l made no at
tempt to get on again when the train start
ed, but struck across the country for food
and shelter.
After about an hours walk through the
wet woods, / struck O lovely farmhouse
with light shining in the kitchen window.
81 knocked at the door, and tall, dark
woman came out. She was a little cross
and surly, but asked me in. And it wasn't
long before l was setting by the fire in dry
clothes smoking my pipe and feeling just
as q fellow does after he has had a good
supper. and that's pretty fine, l promise
you.
II talked with the woman and found her
pretty agreeable, Among other things she
told me was that her husband had died
that day, was lying up stairs as she spoke,
and it was his clothes that | was wearing
She didn't seem to be grieNing much, and
if she didn't care didn't, and even when
she told me that if l staid all night I'd
have to sleep up stairs in the room with
the deceased | didn't bother. 1t was still
raining hard, and | wasn't afraid of a
dead man anyway. Toward 10 o'clock the
woman rose up and got her shawl, saying
she was going 20 a neighbor's and could
go to bed. Then she went out, and l
clint bed up the stairs.
1.-THE corpse lay stretched out on a big
plank, and set the candle upon the old
chimney piece and got in the big bed in the
room. was somewhat surprised to see the
corpse sit up and say, Young man, has that
woman gomez l saw he wasn't dead and
said, Yes Then he opened closet, took
out a bottle and asked me to drink.
II did so. We had two or three of them,
and my dead friend grew confidential
Family troubles are bad, young feller,' he
said. l said they We're, you bet.
"'Now would you think he said, that
that woman, my wife, has been trying to
poison me for three years?
II said she seemed a perfect lady, and
could hardly believe it.
"'Well he said, such is the case. She's
been giving me arsenic for three years,
and l only got fat on it. But | found a
package of strychnine in the cupboard
this morning and knew things were at a
crisis. So | resolved to die and end the
matter. l threw my coffee in the coalbox
when she wasn't looking and fell over in
strong commissions. then died, and died
hard, and she laughed, logged me up here
and laid me out. For, you see, the whole
trouble is caused by my wife liking another
man better than she does me. She is gone
out now to bring him here l am tired of
the whole business and Pm going to end it.. ,
THE corpse was perfectly cool and calm
as he said it, but could tell he was in ear
nest. BY and by we heard the door slam
and voices below. That's them said the
corpse.
"Then he went to the door at the top Of
the stairs, locked it, and pushed furniture
, against it.
Then, motioning to me, he got out of a
, window, and from there on to a roof of a
shed and dropped to the ground. l fol-
lowed him, and we went around to all the
; doors and braced them with logs The win
dows all had shutters to them. These he
braced with logs also.
: "Then, going to the woodshed, he brought
forth armfuls of kindling wood, which he
put around the doors. He poured coal oil
, on this from big can in the shed and fired
: the whole business
, "'Now, you gitr he said to me, and got
81 was afraid of that fellow and had
+ eagerly taken the oath to keep silent that he
! had made me swear to.
Through the woods ran, the house
! afire glaring behind me, and never paused
to rest until reached the country road and
dawn was breaking.
1T was noon that day when i heard the
l tramp of hoofs behind me, and man with
| big black whiskers rode me down. He held
| big pistol at me head and hollered 'HaltP
} halted.
"Im the sheriff of this county, he cried,
Q and am looking for the party or parties
| that set fire to house last night. Do you
} know anything of ity
{ ~ said didn't.
, "sSwear ftp cried the horseman
) 81 swore.
"'Its well you said nothing said the
: supposed sheriff then, and he pulled off his
false beard and showed me the face of the
! late corpse.
? He then gave me $50 and warned me to
) keep my mouth shut and leave the country,
+ which did, and you bet I'm glad to be
} home"
5 Such is the story JEFF tells. But cynical
9 old Bill Bolt doubts it and says jeff read
it all out of book. But what book Bill
Bolt sayeth not.-Roy McCardell in New
e York World.
Notes In Passing.