The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-02-23

That wouldn't have bean bad at all IL
Mrs Macgregor hadn't worn the red
gown, her red gown, that night. But
she did wear it, and of course the Turn
ers saw it-of course they saw it, for
that red gown was of all gowns the
gown to be seen if not heard. Oh, it
was terriblel
The Macgregors and the Thimbles
now found themselves harassed by
these several and distinct propositions:
l. Mr.. Macgregor was outraged lest
the Turner's should think that his wife
was wearing borrowed tinery.
Macgregor is proud and sensitive
man.
. Mrs. Thimble was distressed lest
the Turner's should discover the impo-
sition she practiced upon them last
summer.
5. Mrs. Maccregor was fearful that
society would unjustly condemn her
husband for letting her borrow her sis
ter's clothes.
4. l was mortified lest my part in the
crime should be magnified unduly.
We had numerous councils of war. I
heartily wished that COMPOUNDED red
gown at the bottom of the sea, but it
was not mine, and could not do with
it as l pleased. That COMPOUNDED red
gown had cost "muckle," as Macgregor
said, and it had to be worn out If we
had bought it of the Macgregors the
trouble would not be remedied, for the
Turner'S would still think queerly of
the Macgregors. No; the red gowasFs4
come to stay. 1t doomed up like fort
ress in our pathway to happiness.
Meanwhile Satan chuckled in demoniac
glee. As for myself, l have been oh!
so very miserable. have never been
particularly proud man; neither my
nature nor my profession has served to
promote a spirit of pride within me.
Yet here find myself neglectng the
volume on "Insectivorous Articula-
tions," which / have agreed TO have
ready for the printer in March and am
haunted by feelings of resentment day
and night, simply because l am unwill-
ing that folk should think me so brutal
husband as to compel Mrs Thimble
to get her clothes from the neighbors.
Meanwhile the complication gets all
the more tangled up. The Macgregors
are being invited out a great deal, and,
as luck insists upon having it, the
Turner's are everywhere, too-at par
ties, receptions, balls, dinners, thea
ters-yea, though Adelaide Lucy Mac
gregor were to take the wings of the
morning and fly to the utiermost parts
of the earth, 10! the Turner's would be
there, too, providing always Adelaide
Lucy Macgregor was wearing that
hateful, that ominous red gown.
On one occasion, Mrs. Turner. de-
ceived by that abominable gown, has
addressed Mrs, Macgregor as Mrs.
Thimble, only to be acquainted of her
mistake by naughty answer and
freezing, whitening glance.
Macgregor, naturally proud and sem
sitive, has fallen into kind of mono
mania that distresscs us all sorely. II
is his fancy that wherever he goes peo-
pie are pointing the finger of scorn at
him and are haunting him with the cry:
There goes the husband of the woman
who wears her sisters red gown
Macgregor's magnificent Caledonian
physique is sure to break under this
strain; it is only question of time.
Mrs. Thimble has given up society
altogether; if you did not see her at the
bazaar last month. or at Swartout's
dinner last Thursday, or at the Wither-
spoons reception last Tuesday, it was
because remorse over that abominable
red gown has immured her Borrowing
prisoner within the walls of our blighted
home.
AS for myself, am. as | have already
confessed, fast approaching the hope
less condition of total wreck. Only
an hour ago | made up my mind to
take manly, heroic stand against Sa-
tan, who, l repeat is at the bottom of all
this mischief. was seeking to follow
the intricacies and convolutions of
Pettit's logarithm SO, and was about to
prove the cube of the hypothenuse of
an isosceles triangle squared by the
parallax, when suddenly a realization
of my shames as an abettor of the fraud
attempted by that everlasting red gown
entered and filled my mind to the utter
exclusion of every pure and holy
thought. Then, goaded by this hid
eous wrath, l arose and cried aloud: II
wi:lendure this no longer. Like Luther
of old, l will hurl my inl<stand at the
foul fiend that has devised and wrought
all this wretchedness, l will make
full and explicit confession of the
truth, and | will send it to the Turner's
in order that they, and if needs be all
the world, shall know how penitent
am"
When the Macgregors come over to.
night l shall read them what I have
written. Then, if Mrs Thimble and
they approve what | have said, this
confession shall be signed in the man.
ner of a round-rohin, for truly we have
all sinned alike and our penitence
should be expressed in common utter.
ance. l fear that, at the last moment,
Mrs Thin Bile, who is as proud as she
is beautiful, will demur, and in that
event l shall tell her that what have
written is not so much a confession of
as warning against the sinful. blight.
ing sweets of borrow ed red gown. -
Eugene Field, in Chicago News Record.
Jedge Waxem's Proverbs.