St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-03-17
Which the Modern IcOnoelaSt
VainlY Tries to De-
molish.
Today's Meeting in the In
terest OF the Home Rule
Movement.
How Patriotic IriShmen Will
Celebrate st. Patrick'S
Day.

StOp LnelF Wlckeu WOTh! Alr6duy lew
of the cherished legends of our child
ish days are left with a single leg to
stand on. William Tell. Robin Hood,
and even the truth-en cOuraging story of
George Washington and the cherry tree
have been attacked by these unholy
meddlers in other peoples beliefs. and
now some one has started an objection
to the story of st. Patrick himself. We
have long ago granted the truth of the
statement that the patron saint
birth, and that probably lie
Emerald Isle of his own free will, but
that he was kidnapped from the banks
an braes of Bonnie Scotland by wicked
pirates and carried to the wild and
fierce little island of green when only
sixteen years old. We have also adj
justed our ideas of his saintship, so as
to be able 10 admit that he discovered
the process of distllling liquor, and that
he liked good drink of whisky as well
as some of the younger men of his
beautiful land, and drank 1t whenever
he could get it, and that his last words
to the sorrowing followers who stood
about his death bed were, Take drop
O. somethin' for my sake, boys" We
settled long ago that he lived to the
good old age of 125 years, and died loved
and regretted by all. And now comes
some pestiferouS wretch of mouser
among musty records Of by-gone years
and boldly asserts that There is seri-
Gus doubt that such man as st. Pat
rick ever existed at ALL" Could any
thing be meaner! AS for us, and ours,
we will still believe that
TEHa GOnR Saint
lived and worked for the lettering of
his adopted country. About the snakes
that he banished from the country, the
truth is this: st. Patrick, seeing that
the Serpents were making trouble for
the poor, barefooted people, got a big
drum and once walked about in the dis
tricts where the serpents were most
numerous. beating rousing tattoo as
he went. All of the snakes came out of
their holes and followed him. The
saint walked toward the sea, intending
to drown the whole lot, but in the
midst of his zeal beat the drum so hard
that he burSted the head land the snakes,
released from the charm of the music,
would have doubtless escaped had not
an angel appeared just at the right
time and helped the good saint to COM
plete his laudable undertaking. One
snake, who was the worst OF the lot, was
reserved for worse fate than simple
drowning, and this is the other story.
Many wise men have tried to find out
just what this particular snake had
done, but that to this day
Remains a Secret
between the saint and his snakeship
HIMSELF; certain it is, however. that
this prince of evil doors was doomed to
be prisoner in the depths of Tough
Dilyoen, in the Saltee mountains, which
are situated In Tipperary. The saint
told the snake that if he would promise
to reform he would deliver him from his
watery prison on the following Monday,
and that then he might go to join his
fellow snakes at the bottom of the sea.
For some reason, however, whether be-
cause the snakes conduct was not salts
factory or because st. Patrick forgot his
promise, the solitary craWler was left
alone in the Tough and never taken out.
The consequence is that old residents of
Tipperary declare that at certain hour
every Monday the poor snake comes to
the surface of the lake, and in the pur-
est Irish mutterS the reprOach, ''Shure,
an amt it long time till Monday, Pat
rick?"
OF course we are familiar with the
story of st. Patrick'S birthday; that he
was really born at midnight on March
s, which caused dispute betwee IL the
good women in the neighbOrhood as to
whether he was born OH the 9Th or 9th,
so they settled the matter by adding the
two dates together, and fixed March II
as his birthday. That is an old story,
but there are many people who do not
know the wild and weird
Staru Of Dofrioyrss Goat
The goats name was Puck, and the
Irish saint loved him dearly, and the
goat returned his deep affection. The
goat got lost one day and fell into the
hands of hungry miscreant, who, not
outstanding the fact that lie belonged
to a saint, cut him into savory chops
and devOured him. When Patrick heard
of the fate of his dear Puck he went
about grooming terribly and crying
that he should never see his dear
Puck again. However, he formed
a plan TO punish that wicked man.
which was as ingenious as it was sue
ceSSful. When all the people we're
gathered together to hear him preach on
Sunday he turned to man whom he
suspected of the thief, "and in a voice
like lion, so bold and strong it was,
cried, Puck, Puck, where ait thou?
the crowd the goat answered by an
audible baa from the stomach of the
greedy thief, who tried to run away,
but was caught and brought back to the
angry prelate, who in laundering tones,
before the covering wretch, cried out:
"Come from Thy living tomb and end my
grief
Come hither, Puck, thy masters voice obey
ing!'
ha &c rrbO q in,
As herring out of season, gan to swell
Like big drum and what an awful din
Was heard inside him tongue can never tell.
His mouth split open, right from ear to ear,
And to the folks delight. as did appear,
Out through that wide, extended door
The pretty goat, whole as before,
Sprang forth and jumped into his ready skin.
Around his master all his antics plying,
While prone the thief fell in commissions
dying.
st, Patrick turned him to his congregation,
And spoke with joyful heart his exhortation:
Taught by this warning, NEEDLE not,
charge We,
With anything pertaining TO the clergy
Further Miracles.
Such miraclN as this the great Patrick
worked by scores during his ministry in
Ireland, which began in his fortieth
wears later AS already told, he taught
the people to make liquor, and that de-
lightful concoction known as 'poteen"
was named after the saint. One of his
miracles was something on the trans
formation plan. He and party of
friends were on the top of bleak
mountain one night with no means of
making fire. st. Patrick told them all
to make great balls of snow and place
them In pile. Ibis being done he
blew his breath uron the snowy mound
and 10! Immediately it burst into flames
and everybody was happy. This Incl
dent is told in the following touching
lines:
ST. Patrick, as in legends told,
The morning being very Cold
In order to assuage the weather
Collected hits of ice together
Then gently hreathed upon the pyre,
When every fragment blazcd in nre.
All, If the Saint had been so kind
i. 10 Z a..aL ILL