St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1893-02-18
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
IMGS HERE AND THERE.
Jckes and Jokelets that Arc Supposed to
Fave Been Recently Eern-sayiuss ana
Dolngs that Are Cdds Curious and
Laughsbie,
Some Sharp Sayings.


THE manicure motto IS, cash on the
nail.-Dinghamton Leader.
II any young rnzu wants to find out
what the Wild waves are saying let
him go to sea.-Picayune.
a BIG man groans most when he
gets sick because there is more of him
to suGer.-AtCllison Globe.
time Is moneJ,' remarked Blobbs
as he deposited his watch In a jack
p5t.-Philadelphia Record.
MANY a wise man has picked up
COED suggestion where some fool
dropped tt.-Galveston News.
THIS country might bestow on one
Of its cowboy versifers the title Of
poet-lariat. -Washington Star.
APTEE all, the best amateur actor
Is the one who pFetends to enjoy
piano recital. -Elmira Gazette.
SWELL, I'll be Kicked" as the foot
ball Sal when it heard that the col
lege had opened. -Duifalo Express.
WHEN one buys al electrical publ
cation he wants to be sure that it is
the current Observation-Disclosures Post.
@ANyrH1NG new ON foot?" Eyes"
EWhat Is it?" Our baby. He's just
learned to walk. "-LaWrence Ameri-
can.
WHEN q man Is doing vel! he mag
Ines that he could better If he could
move and pay more rent.-Atchtson
Globe.
SIS he quick-tempered?7 "Quick-
tempered? Why, his temper breaks
three records every y."-Duffalo
Express
SOME restaurant tablc-cloth5 are
like a country fair; they display
| 5le Of everything. -Binghamton
Republican.
How SOON the millennium would
come II the good things people ip-
tend to do tomorrow were only done
to-day.-Ram's Horn.
WHEN man finally does give up
and cries, he looks so much like
drunken man that he gets no SYM
pathy.-Atchison Globe.
WIEN man can't find his shirt
button Of Sunday morning bis wife
Is apt to have trouble with his choler.
-Btnghamton Republican.
BRIDE No, 2-"No other woman
ever wore this ring, did she, darlinS:"
WidOWer-eNO woman on earth ever
had 1t On. "-JeHeler's Weekly.
I SEE villain in your face" said
Judge to prisoner. MAY it please
your Honor" said the latter, shat is
a personal reflection. "-Ttd-Bits.
II ONLY got a nominal fee in that
case" said Brief. $50 the plaintiff
said. He said your charges were
phenomenal. '-Dlack and White.
COOP minister-Do you like to go
to church, my boy? Good boy-Yes,
sir, but I'd like it better if they
didn't sing such tired tunes.-Go0d
News.
"NAuED your boy John after your
self, Mr. Barrows?' @No, Mrs. Tom
son. We have named him James
after q prolonged family row. "-Har-
per's Bazar.
at is dreadful, Maria. that YOU
always VIII have the last word"
please, ma'am, how am ! to know
that you have nothing more to say?"
German paper.
VIs1ToR-"Is this an old home
stead or q modern imitation Of an
tiquity?" Tonant-"Oh, it's now
brand new. The roof leaks in forty
places New York Weekly.
,--...-. o-etn 70 be the
y. M l1Ss w w0 banny?' Mrs. Grogan-
@He's a-suferin' from fwat the story
books call unrequostcd love, poor
boy. "-Indianapolis Journal
IT doesn't make out case against
Uncle Sam of wanting politcness
that in the war Of the revolution he
didn't say to England, Excuse the
liberty take. -Phi'adolptja Times.