Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-02-25

W. spluttering noise, which
indicated that the long
frozen water pipes were resuming activity.
Under ordinary circumstances such sudden
outourst would have been frightful-would
nave led one to believe, indeed, that the en-
tire domestic menage was about to be de-
stroyed by spontaneous combustion or some
similarly violent process Of humiliation, but
knowing what it was, with all its happy import,
l ran forthwith into the elderly matron's to
carry the glad tidings.
couldn't get admitted for several minutes,
but from the rushing of feet up and down
stairs and the enthusiastic though muffled
CALCULATIONS which reached me through the
wall concluded that a like joyful occurrence
had taken place in my neighbor's house.
"THE PIPES ARE RUNNING"
When at last the door did open she exclaimed
before could even wish her a good morning:
"The pipes are running.'
A form Of expression that would lead one not
versed in domestic idioms to believe that the
pipes were species of centipede But it was
no time to be hvpercritical in the matter of
speech SO / responded:
And in my house. too! Aren't you glad now
mat we didn't pay $50 apiece to plumber to
have the street dug up?''
For we all of Us in our block after interview
ing various plumbers, each one of which left us
in more perpezed state of mind than the last
decided to wait for a thaw. during which period
OF time blding we had studied the Thermometer
and barometer assiduously rs il we had been
employed in the weather bureau and had con-
suited together every warm day as to the
probable outdome Of the current rise in tenn
perature.
VISIT TO THE BRIDE.
"Shall we go in to see the bride?" asked the
elderly matron.
For joy. you know, loves company as we'll a.
misery.
Yes" answered, "and I do hope we may
find her as happy are we"
Well. when the door WAS opened and bv the
bride herself, it was quite evident that her hap
piness. if it existed, hadn't yet reached he sur
face. for she presented to a most luSubrious
countenance. which, moreover, bore the traces
OF recent tears. A large apron enveloped her
from head to foot. and spot of coal dust on
the end of her pretty little nose spoke mutely
but unmistakably Of the woeful kitchen expert
ences of a novice.
Has the water-,'' began the elderly
matron and l in breath. But the bride
didn't even give us time to finish our interroga-
ton, but exclaimed in sad desperation:
SHE WAS sERvANTLEss.
"No, ard what is much worse, Sarah has
leftr'
Behind the bride like a bad angel stood the
pessimist who. as her next neighbor had
earlier learned of her misfortune and come in
to mourn with her.
'Well what did tell your' said the elderly
matron-who though a most excellent woman
couldnt conceal q sort of unholv satisfact ton in
hiding her unplea sant prophecies fulilled-"I
warned you the other day not to show your de-
pendence in her SO much. In dealing with
servants you have to act as if you didn't care
whether they remained or not, in which case
you are sure to keep them as long as YOU like"
And l was SO good to Sarah went on the
bride IN a sort OF dreary soliloquy. gave her
things-and everythingr with which compre-
henslve, though somewhat hazy climax, she
dropred despairingly into kitchen chair
'Oh never mind, said the optimist who with
the inmate OF the end house. had hurried over
when they saw the elderly matron and 60 in
For during the time that the pipes were
frozen up we all of in our block whenever
we saw any unwonted activity in any of the ad-
joining houses had fastened in. sans ceremony,
to see if it was occasioned by the filling of that
long-felt want, the Potomac water
FIRST SERVANT LIKE FIRST LOVE-
"No, really 1 wouldn't feel badly about IT,"
repeated the optmist, "for first servant, if
good. is exactly like first love-you think that
there can surely never be anything SO delecta-
Bile again. but when for some reason or other
you get second love, and a second servant
why your youthful errors of judgment then
become apparent and you learn that nothing is
final that possibilities are always unfolding.
and that behind these exist latent possibilities
buried vet deeper.
81 really don't understand it," almost sobbed
the bride. ''Sarah was always so nice. She
was 80 nice that though of course l knew she
was black sometimes almost forgot her color"
THAT, explained the optimist lis because
moral qualities in whatsoever guise are indeed
white, and their wilderness will CLEAN through
the darkest wrappings, and it is the secret, too
Of our inability to see physical flaws in those of
whom we are fond and the personal beauty that
enfolds an unlOvely character"
swell, call leaving without notice and with
out even temporarily supplying a substitute"
said the pessimist, anything but a moral
quality"
But I, personally. can quite understand how
the bride feels" put in the occupant of the
when began housekeeping in losing a servant
whose virtues was then sure it was impossible
to duplicate in flesh and blood.
HIS NAME WAS ANDREW.
"A man. interrupted the elderly matrou.
"Yes, q young colored man." replied the in
mate Of the end house.
"And the only servant In your establish
ment?'' queried I.
1.-The only one."
"That was queer arrangement" commented
the Pessimist.
Aoss f1tuot. ~ Was nv husband idea for
he. besides being firm believer in the cana
bilities Of his own sex on all occasions and a
doubter OF the capacities Of women"
Excuse me for saying it," INTERRUPTED the
pessimist. "but think he must be yery mar
row-minded man."
AT the time OF our marriage, would have
added had you given me a chance. Since then
have trained him differently"
THAT is well, said the elderly matron.
HE was also something Of a theorist," she
went on, Thought that the vexed servant
problem could be solved by substituting men
servants for women, for the reason that the in
nate reverence existing in the masculine nature
toward the feminine would lead men "a serv-
ants to spontaneously perform any service re-
quired OF them. while a maid would do II onIv
because it was Gown in a program excent for
the full performance Of which she might not be
paid"
THAT isn't such . bad theory" remarked
the optimist refectively.
A TINTED CHEsrERFIRLD
II said Andrew was colored, didn't n" went
on the inmate Of the end house. swell, that is
too broad . Characterization Of him, for he
wasn't colored, he was only tinted. he being
about like meerschaum when it first begins to
shade-so light, indeed. that he really might be
said to possess complexion. And polite! Ny.
he was a regular Chesterfield done in pale terra
Gotta. Why, he was SO exceedingly well man.
nered and had SO perfect sense Of the eternal
fitness of all things wherein manners were con-