Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1893-04-22

highly esteemed. though often supremely
contemporary: "Hs tried to
lead people to believe the WORLD had
OF $4,000 We confess that we
made an awkward blunder in emitting
Que cipher, thus making it read 1900
when we fully intended to say 10000. To
make such mistake is extremely en-
barrassine to us without having the Om-
nrcrot tell it all over the state--to his $50
readers. You ought to apologize for
that, dear Amos. 1t is funny how much
even CIPHER will represent sometimes!
And in this connection allow us to add,
parentheticaIly, that we shudder when
We think what might become of the ALI
ance in this county If You. dear Amos,
should be omitted But we will let that
pass now, ONLY saying that we are hum
BILE and willing to be forgiven. Come
over and see us. We have a nice tin
horn with four holes in it and you may
blow in it as long as you choose. But we
will let that pass now. Besides you we're
right-we did prevaricate just little and
we meant 10000. Now just one word,
dear Amos, regarding mistakes: We. too
make mistakes; great many-never
made ten in five lines though; that abso-
lutely breaks the record; and right here
we cannot refrain from suggesting, that
if you would adopt the Josh Billings
style, it would be much easier for yon and
Josh would not be sin it" great wGile.
Think this over carefully. No previous
training will be necessary in your case for
nature has been SO very lavish with you
along this line. Believe me, dear Amos,
that if the provocation was not very great
We would not refer to any mistakes you
might maEe-the game is too small for
ns-and besides, as your friends say,
'you are improving" under cur gentle
castigations. From careful computa-
ton we are sure that in twenty-five years
you can write more than five lines and
not make more than ten mistakes. As
you aptly remarked, dear Amos, Figures
don't lie." And RICH. here an idea strikes
us-no it doesn't hurt, we are used to it
and it doesn't affect us like it did you
last week when you wrote of that dark
and diabolical plot that was batched by
three or fonr arch conspiratOrs in the
black and gloomy recesses Of some back
Office. But to the idea. Why don't you
favor the new system of spelling by
sound? Your natural qualifications
would enable you to forge right to the
front and you would become president of
the organization without an effort. This
is brilliant idea. Think it over. Don't
meption it, you are entirely welcome.
Before we close We are requested to in
quire what has become of that stock of
"milIiner" goods which shave partly" ar
rived. Some of our people are getting
quite anxious to know when they will en-
tirely arrive. Shame, isn't it, that rail-
road corporations are so soulless as to
deliver goods in that condition? While
you are about it please explain what deep
and hidden innuendo was contained in
your very valuable paper Of this weeks
issue when you say ''the him. was build
iug,a new gravel walk etc. OF course, we
understand it, but some are unreasona-
bic and there is considerable excitement
in regard to it. Better Issue supple-
ment and ease the public mind in regard
to these matters. You can then explain
your explanations at length next week.
No, dear Amos, we don't desire any con.
troversy with you, but locals are SO very
scarce that We sometimes grasp very
trifing subject for film" only. Besides il
you will take the trouble You will remem.
Der that you commenced these little pleas.
antries, that your fool friends (?patted
you on the back and led you to actually
believe that we were like the boy you (the
Calf run over-nothing to say. The fact
is. my dear Amos, your intentions are
good excellent But you don't cut a
wide enough swath, and your friends
ought to SO inform You. Your Shakes
perian scythe is entirely too dull for
your work and you ought to know it.
And now, dear Amos, sit is hard to give
you up" but we are through-unless you
cause us to change our mind. Let us be
friends of the Damon and Pytheus sort
hereafter. You can borrow anything
we have in our Office except the office
towel-you might break that-and we
have plenty of old plate matter that
would improve your editorials. Wehave
used them two or three times but they
are all right-for you. Accept our sim
cere thanks in conclusion. We had near
ly column of space and nothing to write
about and You have helped us very ma.
terially.
City Council Proceedings.