The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1893-06-25

"You never loved him. You could not
love him."
But the great bitterness of 10 all was
that she had loved him; she loved him
even yet. with all the STILL deep. uDseifish
affection she had felt for her dear sister.
He was the one thing left for her to love.
and she loved bin: but he bad never
known It. She had no KNOWLEDGE of chill
dreD. and from the first. believing it to be
the nrst thing needful Tor his good. sne
had always treated him with strict Sc
verify, ordering his life by line and rule.
exacting most prompt and absolute obedi-
ence, and visiting his natural boyieh errors
with rigid punishment till be grew TO fear
and avoid her. and practiced deceits TO
She could not remember ever to have
spoken any word or shown any sign OF her
love for him. 1t was not in her nature to
do so. She had done every thing AS II she
did it from sense or duty.
She was naturally austere and unemo-
ti0nal, having al exaggerated shyness or
sense of shame that kept her from reveal
ing In any way any gentler sentiments she
might feel. She was ia all things conscien-
tious. exact. matter of fact. wholly IN
demoDstratIve; and could no moro express
or reveal the softer side OF her nature
than q warm hearted. impnlsive woman,
unfettered by long habits OF restraint. could
conceal any sympathetic feeling that took
possession of her.
You never loved him. You could not
love him"
so himself. Had she done wrong in letting
him think sol LIZ so. even If 1t were her
duty not TO pay the money. she IN ght write
and ask Mr.. Grellin to forgive him. IL she
paid the money it would only confirm the
boy In bfa desperate courses; for he would
think that under similar circumstances she
would DO tbs same again to preserve him
from disgrace that. in manner. would re-
fleet upon herself. She had no right to ask
Mr.. Grellin TO forfeit the money. but her
father had greatly befriended HIM. and II
he would do it and forgive the boy-who
knows seeing how eeverer discipline had
failed. what effect such magnanimity might
haveg
But was It her duty to do thisi Mr.. Dad
ley said il was motif would be stand ding
between the criminal and his just punish
ment. After all. though, Mr. Dadley might
be wrong But nO-she thrust the thought
from her as something sinful, and not to be
entertained without peril. MIR. Dadley
knew best; what he said was wrong could
not DO rIgnt.
Her duty She stified ell the relenting
tenderness that was striving to lind voice
within her and fixed all her thoughts upon
her duty; she must do her duty. She sank
into darker. gloomier reveries, brooding
and arguing with herself. The day had
gone and twilight darkened about her, and
still she was thinkinG-thinking distracted
and bewildered thoughts that made her
head ache aud her heart ache more and
more.
CHAPTER III.
Mr.. Grellin sat waiting in his private
room. He had been waiting now some lit
tie time, and was getting impatient. He
rose from his chair presently and walked
restlessly about, muttering to himself, and
every DOW and then taking a letter from
his pocket and reading certain passages. as
If to inn press them upon his mind.
AT last there was a knock at the door
and two men entered. One, brisk. mid
dle-aged man. the head clerk of depart
ment In Mr.. Grellin's establishment; the
other. a sullen, pallid. unprepossessing
young fellow, who hesitated awk wardly
just inside the room. and looked downoast
and i'll at ease.
Here Is Mr.. Pascoe, sir" cried the head
clerk. Il have just brought him straight
from court. He did not want to come,
but"
Certainly. That will do. Ward" said
Mr.. Grellin shortly. "Tbank you"
Whereupon the head clerk withdrew and
closed the door.
"Sit down, Pasooe." Mr.. Grellin con.
tinned. sitting down himself.
Pascoe moved suilenly to tho nearest
chair and sat down.
"I did not come Co the court this morn.
ing" pursued NJ. GrelliD. "bnt you heard
| what my solicitor said for meW
Pascos acquiesced by an inclination of
the head
THAT statement will be repeated in the
| house here. shall give it out that there
has been q mistake and that YOU are inno-
| cent. Some will have doubts. bus you
| must live them down. l shall not men tion
the subject after to-day: want it to be
| forgotten. You shall go back to your old
| place and start afresh, and / don't think
| that you will make me regret my decision.
| l shall give you another trial. You have
had your stumble. and Pm going TO give
| you a chance of picking yourself up again.
| believe You'll do IT. Come. let rs shske
| hands on IT,"
| Pascoe sat listening with q strange ex-
| preston OF wonderment kindling in every
| feature of bis unattraotive face As Mr.
Grellin concluded, and rose and frankly
| offered him his hand. the poor scamp m de
| an involuntary movement as if he would
| have risen, but dropped back again and
sank with his elbows on HE knees. and his
| face buried In his hands. and burst in to
tears. which perhaps were not altogether
maudlin or unmanly.
Next morning he went back to his work
| In the counting house. full of gratitude
| towards the em ployer who had SO forgiven
| him and o fervent intention TO do his ut.
| most TO prove that be was grateful. Such
| generous kindness, when he had least ex-
| pected IL. and from one upon whom he had
| no claim. touched and aroused into activity
| all that was best in bis neglected nature,
| but ct the same time it accumulated the ex.
| ceeding bitterness he felt TO W ards the hard
unrelenting old aunt. who had kept her
| word aud put out no hand to save him In his
| last extremity. What mere human nature
| and the ties of natural affection should
| have led her to do she had left undone, and
| il had now been done for him out of pity
| by q comparative stranger. She had no
| heart; she had never loved him, had Away
been severe. exacting, unsympathetic, al
| most cruel to him. and no hated her now
| more than ever. He gave no thought to
| his own unworthlness. or blamed himself
| for the crime that had brought HIM int
trouble, but brOoded angriiy. bitterly, over
his old aunt's stubborn. 81 stematic cold
| ness and lect; and IN his own mind fast
| ened oil tle blame upon her.
| Whether his gratitude to Mr.. Grellin
would of itself have been sufficient TO sus-
| tain his resolution TO reform IL perhaps
| doubtful Fortunately. IL was not nut to
! the test. Ii WAS strong enough to sustain
him for three or four months, and then he
| found a more powerful incentive and so D.
port.
For the first time In his life he found him
| self really In love- and with one w no
worthy OF the love of a better mon. 1t is
| something even more In his favor to say
| that he felt this and despsired. 1t Ia some
thing even more In his favor that instead
| of yielding to despair he earnestly deter
| mined to fling from him all his old degraded
| life like wCrD-0ut garment and work and
| strive with all his soul To make himself as
worthy of her as such O man as he might
| hope TO become. He had never before
| been so humble or so earnest
He worked conscientously. industrious
ly. rising higher and higher in MIR. Grellin's