Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1893-05-24

editor and Proprietor.
NO. %.
BUDGET0F FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Knocked Him Out Striking 10,
shorter Hours-His Not a SUP
posable Case - Fatal
Valor, Etc, Etc
&c hal slain the furious hon in AbyssInap
Had faced the royal Bengal in the iungiss
OF the east.
Had cut the throat Of polar bsars in 'Grssn-
lands icy mountains"
And DISTURBED a hungry grizzly In ths
Middle OF his feast.
Ee had fought the pach ydermatous rhinoo-
eros in Africa,
Had toyed with boa constructors In the
wild5 OF Senegal,
Had encJuntere the tarantula, ths rattle
snake, and cougar,
But ne said our blamed mosquitoes could
give pointers to them all.
-Ns'O York Herald
NOT A suPPosABLE CASE.
'No. Gubbins, you will never be-
brain worker"
"Why mott"
Haven't got the TOOLS"
STRIKING FOR SHORTER HOURS.
Harry Stayer-"Have you heard the
latest, Miss Flimsy1"
Miss Flimsy-"Yes, heard tho clock
'trike twelve. ."-Hunsey's Weekly.
He-'I am resolved to live no longer
II you reject me. You-you-are my
'ifei Speak!'
she-"well, don't care if you take
-our life, then"
FATAL vALoRI
ga tough fired at policeman yeste.
isy with heavy calibre revolver"
"And what did the policeman dor
Did ne arrest the toughp
"No. He arrested the bullet
rut-..
"Dawkins looks very pale aud anxious
o day"
"He is worried. He is to have 8 ver>
painful operation performed tonight"
"Whst's thatl"
"He is to have a porous plaster re.
moved from his back. ."-Epoch.
'sUFFICTENT FOR THE DAY." ETC.
Cynical Old Bachelor What makes
you grin like an idiot"
Young Happicuss-"oh, I'm the hap
piest of mortaIsl Tomorrow get mar
red"
Cynical-''Yes, suppose you are tho
happiest man in town to-day. ."-TezGs
Sytings.
JUVENILE PRECAUTIoS.
Anxious Mother-"What in the worfa
did you do during that terrible thunder
storm2"
Little Dick-"I got under a tree"
"Ho-rorsl Don't you know a tree i,
most dangerous place in a thunder
storm2"
"oh, I jumped out every time IL
thundered. "-Good Nelos.
CHEERING HIM UP.
az nevah get an invitation TO any o.
the FIsshers' parties" said Chsppie.
"Well, don't be discouraged, old fell
low" said Cynicus, you'll get ons oRs
these days"
"You-aw-think so2'
"Yes. They're going to give don
key part next week and it is almost GER
tain that they will invite you
eyes" said Mr.. Henpeckei, "womsu
Is undoubtedly the masterpiece of cres-
ton"
"H'ml" said Mrs. H., "then you do
think there is SO ne good in wonsni"
"Yes; when nan was created he wss
lonely and need "a some one to tslk to
him, and woman was created for that
purpose, and she's success"
LEVEL. HEADED PARENT.
Yale College student, being hard
up, wrote to his father in New York:
''Send me hundred dollars by return
mail. He who gives quickly gives
double"
The old gentleman replied by the next
mail, inciosing $50, with the renrrk that
as he had responded promptly, the $50
inclosed were equivalent to the desired
S100.-T'eras Sytings.
JoHNNY's REQUEST
"Johnuy," said the humorous gentle.
man, "give me your little brother. You
don't want him any longer, aud III maze
a man of him"
"Csu you do that, mister1"
"Indee1 can"
"Well, let's see you make one out OF
me, quick, before ma comes; then I'll
lOOA hci lOh ehC SOuO o'sSh S~Oes
switch, and III be back in q minute. ~
So. Louu Republic.
sAvEDl
"weH, but Maud"-rhe absent.
minded youth was interrupted by the
horror-stricken girl.
"Maudl Ny name is not MsudN'
The situation was desperate, yet for
tune did not desert him.
"But, my darling Louise, what am :.
coming around here for il it is not Il
eventually change your nsmep
She thought, of course, he had pre-
arranged the joke and he thus We
Wved.-PdiiaieLpiia Times.
NINE IN GERMAN, NOT ONE IN ENGLISH
Although she was German she spok,