Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-03
HIS SPRING HAT.
He Was a Trifle Sensitive About the Shape
of His Head.


Williams bought spring hat the other
day. He is naturally one Of the brightest
and most cheerful men in New York city,
but from the day that he put on that hat
he wore melancholy look which would
have given hope to man who has had
case for property damage against the ele-
waited road for 10 years. He stunned all
his friends; he never smiled; he refused to
go to the theater; the Worlds fair had no
charm for him--he was a gloomy, sour
faced, hopeless, desperate looking man.
A week after he bought his spring hat he
met Jones. Jones is always telling about
things which have happened to him. Be-
Agin to tell him about a ride you took, and
he will give you an account of his journey
across the plains on horseback Let him
know about your having bought house
and he will explain about his famous real
estate speculation in the dim past. Well,
this trick of Jones undoubtedly saved Will
liams' life.
"See you've got spring hat, too," said
Jones. "How do you like the new style"
ooh, I like the style well enough" an
swered Williams in a gloomy voice.
Say" said Jones, speaking of buying
new hats, did you ever notice how those
machines that matters use to get your size
and shape show up your head?"
"What has that to do with the new style?"
said Williams sharply.
"Oh, nothing, only''-
1T looks as if spring were about ready to
come in earnest, doesn't it?" asked Will
liams.
Eyes, but about the shape of ones
head"-
tits been about as mean spring as
have KNOWN" Williams went on.
'Now," said Jones, ''when they put that
machine on your head''---
"Ill be glad when summer gets here"
Williams insisted.
when they put those machines on''--
But Williams was determined to discuss
the weather.
sit can't get too warm for me-" he said
energetically.
"See here, Williams" said Jones, getting
red in the face, ''why in the world do you
insist on talking about the weather. !
want to tell you about those head measur
ing machines"
"Say, Jones'" said Williams desperately,
''let's go to the theater tonight. Let's go
and get luncheon. Let's take walk Let's
do anything"
"Great Scott, mani" cried Jones. "What
are you so excited aboutp just want to
tell you about"-
"See here, JONES'" said Williams sternly.
II don't want to hear another word about
your internal machine. Pm not going to
listen to you. won't do it," he said, shut
ting his teeth.
"And Pm going to tell it to you," said
Jones, getting mad enough to fight, IF
looked at the shape Of my head the other
day, it was something awful-something
awful, say. Yes, sir" he continued, look
ing earnestly at Williams, who had uncon-
sciously taken off his hat while he held one
hand in q frightened way to his head. Eyes,
sir, my head looked like an idiots. That's
what it looked like.
caesars ghostr said to the man, you
don't mean to say my head is shaped like
that?'
"'Why, no, he said, this machine doesn't
really show the shape of your head; it only
brings out certain points to help us fit
you.'"
Williams looked dazed with surprise
But say, you ought to have seen the
kind of head that thing gave me.
Now''-
'Look here, JONES'" cried Williams joy
fully, getting his speech again, come and
have drink. Come and have bottle
come and have anything Old man, you've
taken terrible load off my mind. Hooked
at the shape of my head when bought this
hat 1t was the first time I'd ever looked
at that outline. Well, it nearly stopped
my heart from beating. You never saw
anything like it. Talk about your head!
Mine looked like founder with a broken
back and two twists in it. There were
bumps and curls and holes and patches in
it. knew that if had head like that l
was in danger of becoming an idiot any
minute. There was no use to try and get
around it. about made up my mind that
was an idiot already. And now, come
and have drink, old man. That's load
off my mind. New York Tribune.