The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1893-03-28


said he liked BALKAN, cause Balaam
had the right idees o'things. Balaam's
leadin' idee were that cats was made
an fer nothin' else, and that conse-
kently If they didn't ketch rats an
mice enough to keep 'em alone they'd
hef to starve to death. To carry out
this idee o. his'n he allus KEEP lot O.
cats shet up in his cabin, an ez tina
want no rats an mice az thort sc
mean o. theirself ez to hang around
Balaam Bonutt's OF cabin, the cats had
ter foller out Balaam's cheerin' idee
an starve. Then ez fast ez they'd
starve BALKAN d sell their hides an
their bones to keep hisself In rum an
pork, and then he'd lay in more cats to
keep his idee a-workin'. Even arter
Hollerback got married-fer, mean ez
he were, he got married Seems to me,
b'gosh, that the meauer a man is the
more he wants to get married. He
treats his bosses mean, an he treats
his dog mean, but that don't suit him.
He wants to git sumpin' that he kin
treat little meaner than he kin his
bosses or his dog, an so he hunts up a
wife. An the curio'sest part o. the
hull business is, he kin allus git one,
an gener'ly a good un- So Hollerback
Tidd got one. She were a Blazer
Phillesy Blarer. Phillesy were an or
phint an had clearin. She were a
gal that were allus afeard she'd do
sumpin' an folks wouldn't like it. One
day Hollerback Tidd stopped at
Phillesy's clearin an says:
I'm out lookin' for a wife
Yes9' says Phillesy.
eyes, says Hollerback. You're
bout the right heft, says he, to pull
in harness with me. Come along he
says.
''Phillesy were 'feerd Hollerback
wouldn't like it if she didn't, an so she
put on her things an went along an
married him. But she didn't pull in
harness with him, or at leastways Hol-
lerback didn't pull in harness with Phil
lesy She pulled single, b'gosh, and Hol-
lerback druv.
80 even arter Hollerback got mar
ried him an BALKAN Bonutt was ez
thick ez ever, an he usety hang round
Balaam's cabin an argy the cat idee
an other idees similar.
"Durn it, Balaam,' Hollerback usety
say. Cattle gifts along fust rate on
chopped cornstalks an buckwhit bran,
an it's cheap fodder. What's the rea-
son folks can't?'
""They could if they only thunk so, ;
says BALKAN.
"Hollerback died pooty student one
day, an some folks alias thunk that
he'd ben tryin' to work out that idee O
his'n bout cut corn stalks an buck
whit bran bein' good enough fodder for
human folks ez well ez cattle, but 9TH
ers thort not cause if he had, they
said, he'd tried it on his wife These
folks thunk that Hollerbacl1 died cause
another idee o. his'n hadn't worked
right. If tina were anything moren an
other that he were dead sot ag'in it were
young uns. An more p'tic'lar ag'in
twins.
GA young un, Hollerback usety say,
is wass'n sniffies in sheep. An twins,
he says, iswuss'n boiler horn in cattle.
IAN in them days of Sugar Swamp
sniffies in sheep an boiler horn in cat
tie was wuss'n the plaques O. Egypt.
"'Twin brothersr Hollerback uscty
say. An twin sistersl An twin
brothers and sistersr he usety say
What is tina to 'em, anyhow? Now,
saws he, If some on 'em would only
fetch along couple O. twin cousins or
twin uncles, he says, larfn, 'zif that
were one o. the best jokes any body
ever heerd, fha'd be sumpin' in it, an
| wouldn't mind dickerin' for EN-.
Twin uncles, he says, ID jist tickle me
to DEATH But don't let nobody come
round me tallkin' about jist twins. Jist
twins, he says, wants to keep shy o.
mel!
80 when Phillesy up an fetched a
couple o. twins to Hollerback one day,
faint likely tina were ever madden or
a rampageiner man than he were. An
he KEEP a gittin' madden an ram
pageiner every day fer a month. An
then he took sick, an fore long folks
heerd that Philesy were wilder. An
Hollerback KEEP up his rampagein'
arter he were dead, fer in his will he
give Phillesy the orfullest kind o. fits
fer fetchin' twins jist a purpose 'caus.
she lxnow'd he were dead sot agin EN-
an what does he do but leave the null
O. his belongings, from the clearin'
down to the oil hick'ry pig-poke, to
Balaam Bonuttl 'Pervidin',' says he,
that when a couple O. twin uncles
comes along, BALKAN shall hand 1t all
over to them OF Squire Billup, who
drawed Hollerback's will, said that
when he toll him, to put that in it.
Hollerback larfed like ez If he hadn't
never heerd o. anything ez funny ez
that were, an says:
"'That'll make 1t strong enough, I'm
thinkin'p he says. When twin uncles
comes along, Biler's run'll turn itself
BACKYARD n scoot up the side O.
Squawkee hill like monkey climbin'
q treel'
BALKAN Bonutt want no ways
bashful bout turnin' the Wilder Tidd
an her twins often the clearin', bag
an baggage, an he moved hisself an
his starvin' cats onter it an KEEP on
workin out his idees. The twins bein'
boys, one on 'em was named Puder-
baugh Tidd an tother 'un Uriar.
When they was long about twenty
year old, 'Riar up an says:
" Here's what digs outen Sugar
Swamp an hunts up livin'l An ye
don't hear from me till make 1t, says
he.
IAN away he went. Puderbaugh,
t'other twin, looked at things different.
Tha were plenty o. room to hunt in
round the Sugar Swamp deestric, an
he thort that If tina were Twin to be
hunted up he were bout ez likely to
run ag'in it there ez anywhere else.
An he hunted fer livin' so well that
fore he were old enough to vote he got
married to little Swiftly Bunce. Swiftly
were a nice gal an pooty one. She
hadn't no relation but her Aunt Hubby
Bean, who lived way over in the Bump
Hill kentry Swiftly were allus goin'
over to see her Aunt Hubby, but she
never jist got ready to go, an fore she
did she up an died, leavin Puderbaugh
sorrerin' widderer.
IAN now, says he, III never see
Aunt Hubby
'When 'Riar Tidd dug out from
Sugar Swamp he went straight to the
Bump Hill kentry an fell inter livin'
right away. He want long In gittin
clearin'. an more'n that he want
long In gittin' a wife. An his wife
were Hubby Bean--little Swifty's aunt
Hubby, who was likely gal, an a
poorly one, too. Now, ez luck'd hev 1t,
Huldy's aunt, Sabra Mullpin. young
wilder, lived over in Sugar Swamp,
an / s'pose she were about the snug
gest article o. two-shill'n caliker that
tina ever was in the hull o. that dees-
trio. One day, long about year
arter Puderbaugh Tidd got to be wild
derer, Hubby got letter from her
Aunt Sabra that made her squeak right
out, an she says to 'Riar: