The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1893-10-21
HARE ALWAYS LEADS.

| =
At the recent session of the grand lodge
K. of P, at Heppner. there was an unwrlt-
ten chapter of proceedings outside the
hall which it would be we'll to put in
print. Among the delegates were Hon
j. w. Hare, postmaster at Astoria, Hon.
w. T. Hume, state senator from Multno-
nah county, and Hon. jeff Myers of Ma
ron county This trio was worthy the
pencil of a Mark Twain, for if there was
anything funny or ludicrous they were
certain to take the lead; but it seems that
Hare maintained the lead, notwithstand-
Ing the astute faculties of the other two.
On Thursday evening, the w. G. I. U.
gave supper, and these gentlemen were
present and occupied the same table.
They ate heartily from all the dishes set
| before them and called for everything
that was on the programme. Myers and
Hume finished the meBl first and told the
| blushing young lady who waited on them
that Mr. Hare would settle the bill, which
he did to the amount of 81. The Astoria
postmaster bore this very complacentlY;
but there was sly twinkle IN his eye
which indicated mischief. Rutton-hole
bouquets on table had been disposed OF
for ten cents apiece, until only two re-
mained, and these MIR. Hare informed the
ladies he would sell at public auction, he
himself acting as salesman. Mounting
the rostrum he began proclaiming the
beauties of the flowers, and the benevo
lent object for which they were being
sold. Giving wink to one OF the by
ISLANDERS he started one at % cents, then
turning around to Hume, whom he de-
scribed as the "Baby senator from Multi
nomah county" Hare raised the price to
80 cents; casting his glance towards
Myers he named 81 as the bid, and so
continued until he was crying at the top
of his voice that the "Baby senator" bid
$3.50 for the bunch of flowers. Before
Hume could file demurrer to the pro-
ceedings or make out a bill of exceptions
the bouquet was knocked down to him at |
the price named, and this without any |
word or nod of the head coming from him |
during the sale Of course Mr.. Hume is |
a Knight, and could not be ungallant. So
he smllingly presented five-dolar piece
to beautiful young lady, who fumbled
around to make the change. "Never mind
the change" SAYS Hare. "lr. Hume will
yet be candidate for congress, and $2h0
is nothing to him when the worthy object
Lion. On behalf of the ladies, MIR. Hume"
Hare continued, 81 thank you for the lib
eral donation" Now Mr.. Hare was
quits" on Hume for the two-dollar sup
per, and Hon. jeff Myers was yet to re-
,eive his attention. The Democratic SEN
itor from Marion is an unmarried gentle
nan, a velitable lady killer,very suscepti
Die to the slight that lies in woman's
deppner boasts of the most beautiful
,irls IN Eastern Oregon. On the rostrum,
either as stump speaker or other voca- i
lou which requires the free use of Lam
,uage, Mr.. Hare takes front rank. There 1
vas one bouquet remaining, and, follow
ng the tactics he did with Mr.. Hume,
Without word or nod from Myers, he
Knocked the bouquet down to him at So. I
)f course, although it might haye been
ltro vires, and he could haYe entered a
eneral demurrer to the jurisdiction OF I
he court, he did not; for there were a q
ozen smiling blue eyes centered on him, {
nd he capitulated, paid his three dollars
he had the change-without 7
murmur and was very happy in the c
hanks rendered him by the ladies and by a
1r. Hare on their behalf. If woman t
uffrage is ever successful in Oregon the i
ote of the young ladies of Heppner will Y
e given to Mr.. Hume and Mr.. Myers for t
ny Office which they desire, and Mr..
iare will be their choice, even
or president. The next day, Mr.. Hare
vas not at all backward in giving his
Dry of the whole proceedings, and point
1g to the button-hole bouquets worn by
Ions. W. F. Hume and eff Myers, he took
reat interest in informing everyone that :
ley were the most expensive flowers in
'regon, one bunch costing five and the
ther three dollars. The next grand
)dge meets in Portland, and it is safe to :
ay that if Mr.. Hume or Mr.. Myers desire
} play any practical jokes it will not be !.
n Hon. J. W. Hare. of Astoria. +