Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-10-05
A HOMELY HERO.
Poor Abe Dodge.

Poor Abe Dodge
That's what they called him, though
ne wasn't any poorer than other folks
not so poor as some. How could he
be poor, work us he did and steady as
ne was. Worth a whole grist of such
bait as his brother, =, he Dodge, and
yet they never called l. he poor-what,
ever worse name they lign. call him
When Ephe was off - a show in the
village Aoe was follo wing the pillow,
driving straight FUR ow, though you
wouldn't have thought it to see the way
his nose pointed. In winter, when
Ephe was taking the girls to singing
school or spelling bee, or some other
robustness till after 8 o'clock at
night, like as notable was hanging
over the fire, holding a book so the
light would shine, first ON one page and
then on the other, and he turning his
head as he turned the book, and read
ing first with one eye and then with
the other.
There; the murders out Abe couldn't
read with both eyes at once. If Abe
looked straight ahead he couldn't see
the furroW-nOr anything else for that
matter. His best friend couldn't say
but what Abe Dodge was the cross
eyedest cuss that ever was Why, if
you wanted to see Abe, you'd stand in
front of him; but if you wanted Abe to
see you, you'd got to stand behind him,
or pretty near it. HomeIy? Well, if
you mean downright "humbly," that's
what he was. When one eve was in
use the other was out of sight, all ex.
cept the white of it. Humbly amt no
name for it. The girls used to say he
had to wake up in the night to rest his
face, it was so humbly. In school
you'd ought to have seen him look
down at his copybook. He had to
cant his head clear over and cock up
his chin till it pointed out of the winder
and down the road.
You'd really ought to have seen him.
You'd have died. Head of the class,
too. right along; just as near to the
head as Ephe was to the foot, and that's
Sayin' good deal. But to see him at
his desk! He looked for all the world
like Il week-old chicken, peekin' at Il
tumblc-bug, And him 4 grown man,
too for he stayed to school winters so
teacher could teach him. You see there
wasn't anything to draw him away; no
girl wouldn't look at him-lucky, too,
seem the way he looked.
Well, one term there was Il new
teacher come = regular high-up girl,
down from Chicago. AS bad luck
would have it, Abe wasn't at school
the first week-hadn't got through his
fall work. SO she got to know all the
scholars and they was awful ticlIed
with her-everybody always was that
knowed her. The first day she came
in and saw Abe at his desk she thought
he was squintin' for fun, and she uppcd
and laughed right out. Some of the
scholars laughed, too, at first; but most
of 'em, to do 'em justice, was a leetle
took back. young as they was and cruel
by nature. young folks is most usually
always cruel-don't seem to know no
better.)
Well, right in the middle OF the hush
Abe gathered up his books and upped
and walked outdoors, looking right
ahead of him and consequently seeing
the handsome young teacher unbe-
known to her.
She was the worst cut up you ever
did see, but what could she do or say?
Go and tell him she thought he was
maxim up a face for fun. The girls
do say that come noon spell, when she
found out about it, she cried-just
fairly cried. Then she tried to be
awful nice to Abe's ornery brother
Ephe. and Ephe he was tickled most to
death, but that didn't do Abe any good,
Ephe was just ornery enough to take
care that Abe shouldn't get any COM
fort out of it. They do say she sent
messages to Abe, and Ephe never de
Iivered them, or else twisted 'em so as
to make things worse and worse.
Mebbe so-mebbe not-Ephe was or
merry enough for it.
Course the Schoolma'rm she was
boardin round, and pretty soon it come
time to go to Of man Dodge's and she
went: but no Abe could she ever see.
He kept away, and as to meals he
never set by, but took bite off by
himself when he could get a chance.
Course his mother favored him; being
he was so cussed unlucky. Then when
the folks was all to bed he'd come in
and poke up the fire and peek into his
book, but first one Sue and then the
other, same as ever.
Now, what does schoolma'am do but
come down one night when she thought
he was abed and asleep and catch him
unawares. Abe knowed it was her
quick as he heard the rustic of her
dress, but there wasn't no help for it,
so he just turned his head away and
covered his cross-eyes with his hands;
and she pitched in. What she said I
don't know, but Abe he never said a
word; told her he didn't blame her,
not mite; he knew she couldn't help
it-no more than he could. Then she
asked him to come back to school, and