The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-02-19
GETTING INVITATIONS.
THAT Is TIE FIRST ESSENTIAL OF
a COCIHTY MAN.

Some Do and Some Do Not-An Ex-
PLANTATION of the Difference-If You
Are a Swell You Are Loaded With
Invitstions;if You Are Not You May
Get Left.
From the WdshinQton Star.
THAT is the first essential Of q society
manP Such was the question put by
writer Of the Star to a man who is essen
TALLY q society man of the first degree.
why" he answered, without hesitation,
invitations. Of course"
but how do you get invitationsF
''Ah," he said, shaking his head wisely,
that's my secret. l am not going to dis
close the mystery of my patent, so that au-
other man may profit by it.n
It Is, indeed, an essential thing for man
to have invitations, If he would be a society
man, and yet how many men there are who
call themselves society men who have few
invitations. These men 60 TO the theaters
and similar places, the admission to which
is obtained by the purchase OF a ticket, and
show themselves great deal on the streets,
but they have failed 10 solve the mystery
Of how to get invitations. They sometimes
belong to the clubs, too, and associate con-
stantly with men whose pathway is strewn
with cards OF invitation like avenues with
leaves in the autumn, but they have not
discovered how the great desideratum of life
is accomplished. IL win be interesting TO
consider what the usual methods resorted to
for invitations are,
GET PERMISSION To GALL.
First of all calling is tried. To get the
permission to do that much all that is
necessary is to be introduced to the lady
want n rail- NTH har a
few moments as pleasantly Us you know
how, then to ask her when her reception
day is and whether you may do yourself the
pleasure OF calling upon her. Tell her you
have been wishing to go for some time that
So-and-so (the man who introduced you, If
she knows him well and likes him, offered
to take you there, but that your illness
has prevented you from accepting his
offer; that now you will il she doesn't OBJ
ject, take the great liberty Of coming by
yourself. To all of this sue will give a
ready enough assent, and the next reception
day she has you can go in and see her.
There you are, then. You have met her
and you have been to her house Just sit
still and wait for an invitation for one Of
her parties. Perhaps you may get one, but
then, again perhaps you may not do any
thing Of the kind, You may depend that II
she did not already know all about
you she has gone to work and
inquired, and great deal depends
upon what was the result of her inquiry
Now, suppose this TO be the result of her in
quiry: She finds you are an honest man,
much esteemed in the business or profess
sionsl world, that you make moderate
sum Of money-sufficient for purposes of re-
spectability-that your habits are eX-
empiary and that you are said to be consid-
cradle OF a reader. Having heard this good
report, will she invite you TO her partiesl
She may and she may not, but the report
is not going to influence her one way or an
other.
IF YOU ARE A SWELL, ALL RIGHT.
But suppose she hears this report: That
you are the cousin of the Crusus family
and a genuine swell by birth and bringing
up. That you lead germans and are a din
ner party man. That you stay at Newport
every summer. Ny dear fellow, you will
be invited to her parties, and it makes no
difference whether you are wise or stupid,
rich or poor, honest or dishonest-these
things have nothing to do with it at all
But will the fact of your going
to the parties make her have a
good opinion Of you, or admire you,
or marry you? Not al ALL 1t may be
the very men she does not invite to her en-
tertaiuments are the very ones she admires
most. That is always one Of the peouliarities
of life in society. You may 20 to a lady's
house quite often, and. after awhile you
may notice that sometimes you see sitting
in the background and looking rather awk-
waad, a male visitor with gold-rimmed
spectacles and a serious cast of countenauce
You wonder who be is and you notice that
he never appears at the dinner parties or
balls that the lady gives At the end of
the season you are coolly informed what
this mans name is and further that the
lady and he purpose getting married, hav-
ing been engaged for six months.
But for that matter, 1t is not always the
fiance that is a retiring inan and not fond
of society but the husband himself is some
times averse to the balls and dinners which
are such delight to bis wife. If his dislike
for them is overcome by his fondness for his
wife, and he goes with her wherever she
goes, he merely makes himself miserable
and cross, but still be keeps himself in sight,
but if he consults his inclination and stays
at home he may come to the pass when he is
forgotten.
THE UNPRRTENTIoUs HUSBAND.
"Who was the strange man | saw coming
out Of your house as / passed by yesterday
morningw said a man to a married woman
whose house be was a tolerRbly frequent
visitor at.
II can't imagine. What did he look
likel" asked the lady,
~ sdlQ Tue man, ne was snort and
fat and had a sorubby mustachs. and he
looked ill-natured-in short, as ugly a man
as ever saw"
30, | know who it was,n she said, quite
pleased. "Why, that's my husband"
Tho man had been to her house number
Of times, had been entertained by her and
thought he knew her, and yet he actually
never had seen her husband.
However, husbands, are not the subject
OF this article, but invitations, and although
the latter are difficult to get they are the
more easily got of the two.
Now, there are men who go on calling on
people year after year yet get very few In
yitattons, and there are other men who
hardly do any calling at all and get so many
invitations that they can't accept them all.
Perhaps the unsuccessful man feels a little
bitter about il. but why should heg Becaute
he Is not sought after In the way Of
society is nothing against him. He
has no right TO point GO his companion who
succeeds and say; "You see that fell
lows He has no brains, he has no money,
be is not amusing and he Ia not good looking.
Yet he Is invited every where without any
effort of his own, and l, who have brains,
money and good looks, try TO get invited
and don't succeed But perhaps tue stand
ards that are followed by the people who do
the inviting are not standards Of good looks
or brains or even money. They know what
wants and another does not-tbat Is all
there is In IL. But why is that they want
the one man and not the otheri