The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-06

editors ought to pay their way when they
Travelled, and the first thing we knew we
hadn't any pass from this town TO the
railroad. We differed with the colonel
on principle, and the way THE KICKER
opened on his old caravan route made
the wheels on every stage wobble like
drunken men. The colonel is an impulsive
man, and his first move was to briBga libel
suit -Four weeks later he sent us two an
nual passes and dozen bottles of Califor-
nia wine. When we called to see him about
clearing the docket, he couldn't move fast
enough, and his entire demeanor was that
of n man with tender and loving heart.
Suit No. i was modest little thing for
100000 and was instituted by Bill Poole,
the landlord of the Spread Eagle hotel. We
used TO board at Bill's, and when we pub
lished an article declaring that hungry
bobtailed wolf would turn up his nose ut
the provender and that Bill himself was
better fitted for n sawmll than hotel we
knew what we were talking about. Bill
thought we were blufling on n pair of treys
and started his suit. When we called on
him the other day, we had our guns handy.
but they were not needed. Mr.. Poole not
only fell on our neck and expressed regret
at having made an ass of himself, but an
Aounced that he had traded the hotel for II
sawmill over OH Cedar run and would let
go of landlordism next week. We wish
him success in his new undertaking.
Suit No. 5 was for $4,000 and was in
stituted under misrepresentation. Judge
Hemphill of Lone Tree came to this terri
tory about five years ago from Ohio. He
put it on the score of health. That's where
the msapprehcnson came in. We discov-
cred that the judge had three living wives
and not single living divorce, and when
he bitterly opposed us us n candidate for
senator we playfully alluded to his matri-
monial affairs. He had changed his name,
dyed his hair and shaved off his whisker,s
and felt himself safe. When we went over
TO see him the other day, he thought we had
come to compromise. We hadn't. We had
come to prove that he had run away from
four wives instead of three, and it wasn't
over 10 minutes before he had tears III his
eyes and was asking us to let up on him.
We shall do so. The only thing we blame
him for is in not bringing the five wives
out here before he gave them the shake
Suit No. was one horse affair for S75,-
Goo 1t was brought by Jim Davis, fore
man of the fire company. because we al
luded to him as drunken nuisance and n
seyen-day- in-the-week idiot. Jim didn't
expect to prove to the contrary, but some
one told him to sue, and he sued When
we went around to see him about clearing
the docket, he expressed his sorrow that he
had acted so foolishly and at once gave
orders to quash proceedings. He asked us
as n man and citizen if we really thought
he was what we alleged, and when our con-
Bcience forced us to reply in the affirmative
| he turned his head away and wept. Poor
old Bill We felt sorry for him. We wish
he were not an idiot and n nuisance, but as
long as he is, what's the use of lying about
1t? The docket now stands clear of every
thing against The KICKER. but something
will probably bob up inside of month to
interrupt the monotony.