The National tribune., 1893-09-07

could get no place until a vacancy should arise
He waited for several weeks, and one day. when
his money was nearly exhausted. he went down
| to the Potomac Beach, He found there many
bathers and among them a young man whom
! he recognized as clerk in the division where
| he had sought place. The clerk ventured be-
| yOnd his depth and was drowned. When his
body was brought to the shore the applicant
lest not moments time in fastening to the
Congressman. Now he said, i can have a
| place; there is a vacancy. 'Where?' asked
the Congressman. 'Why, clerk in the divis-
ion (naming him. was drowned this after
noon.' The Congressman looked at him sadly.
regret to inform you he said, that you are
too late; the place has been filed How can
that be?' shouted the applicant in despair.
The man has just been drowned Yes l
know replied the Congressman, but the place
has been filled. 1t was obtained by Massa-
chusetts friend of Mr.. Quincy's who saw the
clerk go in. aud guessed correctly that he could
not SWIM"
Everyone nowadays has something mean
and sarcastic to say about the poor Congress
men. The famous quotation of Horace Greeley
is called to mind, which was to the effect that
lawyers have no idea of the value of time, and
when reflect that tn ere are 200 lawyers IN
the present Congress, wo realize how peril
nently his remark applies to the situation to-
day in that body. One of our contemporaries
remarks in complaining way, without any
reference to Congress- OF course, that if people
would speak only when they have something
TO say tho silence in the world would be so in
tense that at times you could hear curry
comb gnash its teeth. 1t is understood that
Minneapolis man is trying to determine the
muzzle- velocity of a Congressman, and it is
suggested that scientific experiments of that
character should not be conducted at such long
range. One queer looking man ON the Avenue
the other day was heard to remark that it is
rather singular that the mouth of the Missis-
sippi has never been elected to Congress; it
would be so efficient in debates. And it is
even claimed that the hurricane of which
Washington got but a suggestion the other
night originally intended coming this way, but
when its attention was called to the terrific
wind constantly in action under the dome of
the Capitol it dropped its conquering wing and
passed aside.
Resuming cursory examination of that
classica! work, the Congressional Directory we
find that there arc interesting facts contained
therein regarding the members of the House of
Representatives, as well as those of the Senate.
The father of the House is now Charles O'NeiIl,
of Philadelphia. who, if he outlives bis present
term, will have broken the record by having
served 80 consecutive years in the lower branch
OF Congress. Tho House contains 206 lawyers,
AZ farmers and agricuturists. Ia journalists, ii
manufacturers IS merchants, We bankers,
three teschers one publisher, two doctors two
clergy men, two college professors two printers,
six gentlemen of leisure, two society men and
30odd whose pursuits are too indefinitely re-
ported for classification. The most eloquent of
all is w. Bourke Cochran, of New York. The
one with the most Did constituency is Thomas
J. Geary, of Santa Rosa. Cal, whose motto is
"Thc Chinese Must Col" The most unpopular
outside of his own district is William S. Hol-
man. OF Aurora. Ind, who, should o'NeiII die
would become father of the House. he is serv-
ing his 18th term. The thinnest is a member
from Medicine Lodge, Kan, who used to wear
no socks, if current report be trustworthy.
The most literary is Thomas Dunn English, of
Newark, \. j., once the boon comp anion of
Edgar Allen Poe and who has written verses
which the Prince of Wales greatly admires
The most interesting is Dasiel Edgar Sickles, |
of New York, who has been on trial for his
life who lost leg at Gettysburg, and who |
saved the lives of three men at the risk of his |
own. The best educated is William l.. Wilson, |
of Charlestown, w. Va, who knows Virgil by |
heart, can read Hebrew with ease and conjugate
Greek verb as readily as he hustes about the |
polls on election day, not 10 men ton essays he
has written the integral calculus and equa-
tions of the second degree The most unique |
is William McAleer. of Philadelphia, Pa, who |
is the first out-and-out Democrat and supporter
OF Grover Cleveland and tariff for revenue only |
to be elected on the Republican ticket after his
own party refused him denomination. The
one who hobs up serenely is Joseph A. Scran-
ton, of Scranton, Pa, who is elected and de- |
fcated with much regularity at every other
Congressional election. The most puzzled is
Charles +. Crisp. of Americas, Ga, who has |
never been able to decide whether he is eligible |
TO the Presidency of the United States or not, |
having been born abroad of American parents. |
The proudcst is Joseph e. Washington, of
Cedar I'LL, Tenn, who belongs to the family |
of our first President. the most elegant is |
John i. Reyburn, of Philadelphia, Pa whose
principal duties connected with the inh erit-
ance of a series Of fortunes from departed rela-
tives.