Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-10-04
HUMOROUS.

dUmOhOUo.
After the fair is over
After the bills for hash;
Many may be in clover,
But few at the best in cash!
Atlanta Constitution
When an express company say
it ships gold there seems to be pier
ty of men ready to car-robberate i
Plain Dealer.
He-"What high color Ms
Highheels has" She-"Yes; sh
buys the most expensive brand,
suppose. Figaro.
us Brown still discussing tn
financial situation?" mo; he
done gone to work for a living!-
Atlanta Constitution.
Strange to say, many brokers ar
best pleased with the stock marke
when it is simply unbearable.--Bos
ton Commercial Bulletin.
BY the way, why doesn't tn
conductor punch the train-robber
He might at least give him check
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Well, Anna, have you found th'
rose for my hair yetP" "Yes mad
am; but now | cannot find TIT
hair. ."-Fliegende Blaetter.
Husband (anxiously y)-"Yor
should not carry your pocketbooI
in your hand" Wife (reassuring'
ly(-"Oh, it isn't at all heavy"
Watts-"How did you come out
in your little wrestle with the Chi
cago wheat market?" POTTS.
went after wool and got worsted.
Indianapolis Journal.
Kate-"No, Hattie does not at
tend any church; she says she is
her own religion" Harry-"Tha'
is the religion that | should like to
embrace. boston Transcript.
Principal-"You had deficit in
the cash account yesterday. Has
the error been discovered?"-
1.-THE error, yes; but not the
cashr'-Bosto ton Home Journal.
"And is your son carrying out
the scientific studies he was so fond
OFF" "Well, he's studying etomol-
ogy now" I'm South America?'
mo; among the bugs of Wall
street"
"How do you like this style o!
bonnet?" she asked. "I don't
know yet" he answered, without
looking up from his paper. ~
havn't seen the bill yet."-Wash-
ington Star.
Judge Duffy-"What is your
age?" (Female witness hesitates.
Judge Duffy-"Don't hesitate an
swering the question. The longer
you hesitate the older you'll be-
Texas Siftings.
"Are you fond of the water?''
Exceedingly. At the mere thought
of sailing over the bounding waves
l can scarcely contain myself" !"
"Yes, That the way it effects me,
too. brooklyn Life.
Just because a married man
spends all his evenings at the club,
it isn't safe to assume that his wife
is sitting neglected and desolate at
home. She may be mighty glad
he's away.-Somerville Journal.
Smithers-"Dosen't your wife
ever want to know where you were
at when you were out so late as you
are tonight" Withers-"No, sir,
she does not. My wife was a Bos-
ton rl."-Indianapolis Journal.
~ tell you, Tomskin, you don't
know the joys and felicities of a
contented married life, the happy
flight of years, the long restful
calm Of" "How long have you
been marriedp" "Er-four days. y
Chicago Record.
She-"It can handy be question:
ed that every woman is more or less
of mind reader" He-'Do you
think you could read mineP" She
nd rather not. Mamma is a little
particular as to the character of my
reading.".-Bostcn Globe.
Don't you think there is always
some (puff) risk in riding (puff) J
in smoking carp" 81 do, sir,
There is no telling (phew) when
the man sitting next to you may
light a cigarette" moves three seats
forward. Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. Rifter-"I ordered piece
of dress goods here yesterday, and
] wish to know If it has been cut
yet" Floor walker (after an in