The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-08-13
IN MY LADY'S KINGDOM.
sUxDxY SPENT IN QUIET COUNCIL
WITH HER.
ra1f and Care Essential to buccesstui
Entsrtsining-Pofnts for tho mex
psr1eDcod-Tho Fashions.

Ons of the mistaken ideas common IN
the world is that given plenty OF money
ana efficient servants it is an easy matter
TO entertain guests successfully. Tact
and care-the two acknowledgement 10
be left out Of the calculation. To be al
vavs courteous and without being the
least gushing in manner, 10 speak n
pleasant way 20 all her guests, to set
them at ease and make them feel that
their presence is welcome. never to be
vexed or annoyed by small mishaps, 20
make the very air seem brighter TO those
around her-this would be q perfect hos
ices but even a gifted woman would re-
ouire q certain degree Of age and e1-
preience to reach such e. standard.
A young hostess has much TO learn, yet
81 she will have the memory and the
unselnshness 70 do for others what she
would find Il pleasant and comfortable
10 have done for herself under similar
circumstances. she cannot fail TO be pop
ular even in the face Of occasional mis-
takes There are some women so shy
and awkward that from their nervousness
and reserve, they are tOlerably sure TO DO
the wrong thing. They may not be un-
popular in themselves, for their friends
may understand their good intentions, but
their blunders are so miserable and they
themselves are so conscious Of them,
that unless they have an immensely good
cook their invitations Will not be much
sought after. The experienced hostess
should study and conform to the rules of
etiquette.
Many OF the most charming women Of
the world who have the real courtesy
that comes from the heart, never have
looked into book Of etiquette" while
some OF the authors Of such works are 80
peculiar In their daily lives that the
most comprehensive description Of their
manners would be the term "bookish."
Yet the rules of etiquette have been for
INFLATED for the better maintenance OF
politeness and good manners. and 10
study the written authorities and follow
their rules may save the novice from
some mistakes, even II II fails to bestow
charm.
Whatever Is done for the pleasure OF n
guest should not be prominently made an
obligation An incident Will illustrate my
meaning. A lady. whose tact and grace
had not kept pace with her increasing
wealth, had invited to dine with some
distinguished people n lady friend In re-
duced financial circumstances. but OF aris-
tocratic birth and of the best social asso-
Citations. The hostess assigned 10 her
for dinner one of the lions OF the party
and rather condescendingly remarked 10
her as they were going to the dining
room, ''Do you appreciate the honor of
being taken out by Sir Edward --Y'
The ready reply contained dash Of
compliment Tor both hostess and escort,
but added 10 her own dignity as she sig
nilcantly said. smiling with sweet amuse-
ment 81 realize the pleasure"
A hostess should resolve 10 keep her
face calm, however her heart may rage
within her. 1t has not been granted to
women 90 win victories on battle-fields.
but / always have had an intense adj
miration for the clever New York hostess
that outgennraled her cook on q very
trying occasion. She had invited TO din
ner an Engltshman OF title and had ven
tured to give minute directions TO the
queen OF the kitchen In regard TO tho
dishes 10 be served. This was considered
by that dignitary as very presumptuous
and meddlesome, and she resolved TO teach
her mistress a lasting lesson by sending
up dishes that should be fiat failures.
AS the dinner progressed she made In
quiries OF the butler, who was the con-
fidant Of her little scheme, as to the state
of mind OF the lady OF the house, and
was bafhed TO learn that the latter did
not seem in the least crushed. on the
contrary she was the brightest, gayest
spirits and the guest or honor was so
charmed with her wit he was quite I'M
conscious Of the very insipid quality Of
the entrees and dessert. The following
morning when the cook received mes
cage 90 come TO the library she prepared
herself with bristling defiance for a
stormy Interview and a dashing victory,
but her fair-haired, blue-eyed mistress
met her with n steady look and said:
you were recommended 10 me, Jane. as
an excellent cook, and you have done
very well usually, but the dinner last
night proved that you are not equal 10
your claims, and, as Y cannot run the
risk OF such an inferior dinner again,
shall have 10 give YOU up. Your month
expires tomorrow and you may consider
your engagement with me at an end. i
am sorry not TO be able to give you n
Recommendation" Jane" discovered that
q youthful form and girlish face could
not be relied upon as material for i'm
position. and she retired defeated.