Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1893-03-18
cLEveLAND's HAND SHAKE.
II b BY No Means Simple and Must Mean
A Cyaaf naai

From the Boston Journal: The New
York Tiries has performed public
service. 1t has analyzed and inter
preted Mr.. Clevelands hand-shake.
To the ignorant and uninitiated such
feat might seeem to be without worth
or significance; but not SO for philoso-
pliers, who know that character is dis
played in the most trivial act and
movement. Now. according TO this
most eminent authority, the hand
shake, as it pertains 10 the president
elect, consists of three distinct
stages" First, your outstretched
member' is taken softly in his grasp,
so that the fork OF your stump and the
fork OF his are in the closest possible
contact and alliance" IL you are a
stranger To Mr.. Cleveland or an aspir-
ant for Office under his administration
you may have some delicacy about TAX
ing out your watch and timing this op-
GRAFTON. The New York philosopher
apparently labored under such diff
Guilty, Tor he gives no exact estimate of
the duration of this process; however,
he is able to say that it is long enough
for you TO note that the great mans
hand Is cool, soft, elastic" and full ''of
tiny muscles" At a guess, then. we
should limit this first stage To about
five seconds. Possibly in the case
of visitors from Buffalo il might
be prolonged a little, but the av-
crage man should not feel hurt IL
1t does not in his case extend beyond
five seconds, as that is the normal. The
su h.. til -
and decisive" Our authority gives the
actual time of this-''so long as il takes
To inquire after your health and bid
you1Gclcome." Then follows the ere
lease" which is the final stage. The
Times here is just bit pathetic. 1t is
with a sorrowful clutch" it says,
(which delays the departure of your
finger tips to the last fraction of see
ond." Surely, this is sonnet 1ing that is
worth remembering. How Messrs. Hill
and Murphy will rejoice that any ex-
planation has been given TO the
clutch" with which Mr.. Cleveland has
SO often seized their hands. And an
explanation so complimentary to them
selves! sorrow which delays the de-
light of the occasion Ito the last frac-
tion of second" SO poetical
We do not know thai careful coll
lection of the hand-shakes of the great
democrats of the country has ever been
made. For that reason, we are at a
loss to know whether all of those
shakes" are capable of such minute
analysis. From the chance references
of his associates, however, we should
infer that Jefferson's shake consisted
of only two movements. There was a
"Frenchiness" about it that was notice.
able. AS compared with Mr.. Cleve-
lands shake, it included, we should
say, only the first and third stages,
but with this important differ
ence-it was devoid of the clutch" Of
sorrow. Jacksons shake, we know,
was all grip Bentons was whole
souled, western grasp, which no one
would think of dissecting, though in
later years it lost something of its
hearty flavor for an eastern polish.
Buchanan's shake was forerunner of
the chappies-two fingers and howdy.
From this it would appear that Mr..
Cleveland is the possessor of the most
highly organized handshake of any dis
tinguished democrat that the United
States has known.