Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-08-04
Expert Testimony.

Expert Testimony.
Weary Wiggins-lt cannot be ques-
to toned that our great national crime
IL is Needless endless suicidal over work
#. Tired Tollivcr-Yes, alas the beauti-
st full art OF repose seems lost to lis for.
ever.
Clnch.
TX Bclle--Fll bet you kiss against
i" box of gloves that crinoline cannot
?, be introduced. Jack-That's not a
at fair wager. II should win, couldn't
- get near enough to you to collect my
bet.-Exchange.
With Thanks.
nix Novice-IIow long do you think
N! the editor of the Atlantic will keep
ak me waiting for my poem to appear?
be Oldhand-lt will probably appear in
Ia your morning mail
Capital Definition.
~ "Say, pa" asked little Highland
w Park yOungster of his parent, what
.o Is a phenomenon" "a pheomenon,
70. my son, Is a woman who doesn't make
w man kiss her dirty slobber-mOuthed
:" baby. "-Des Moines Argonaut.
Not the Lover This Time.
loo "Who is that handsome fellow
he that has been following Mrs Flirty
,ie lately? Can he be a lover" mot
IN much; he's a detective. Mr. Flirty
or and he are now working up the evil
dence in divorce suit. "-Exchange
Not Angel.
is Fond Husband-Sweetest you are
nv an angel. PRETTY Wife-Idon't want
ks ever TO be an angel. Fond Husband
We Why? Pretty Wfe-Because l
We have found that feathers are not be-
coming to me. -Pittsburgh Bulletin.
A Valuable Roartier.
nc Mr.. Mountaineering is very
~. retty young lady at the table.
I'm Landlord-Yes, l prize her very
re highly. Since she has been at the
lrs table the young gentlemen hardly eat
anything at all, they are SO dead in
love with her
Delicate Touch.
,e' Editor How is the society re.
~, ~ porter getting along at Police Head.
'so quarters City Editor-First-class
- he wrote up an inquest to-day and
~ -" gave the names of the Jurors as
s'' 'am0ng the distinguished persons
present PUCK.
I'D NoOtn.,,o-
w, Desdcmonia Davis bursting into
w tears)-It's too bad Of him-he knows
VI that l love him and yet - and
-. YET Emilia EmersOn-Yet what?
Desdemona Davis--He lets me tlirt
with any one wish to, and doesn't
say word.-Exchange.
of -
ie, | For the Collection Basket.
of Congressman-I intend to intro
aw duce bill providing for the coinage
lin OF halfcents. If it passes my re-
= election is assured. Frend-How do
you make that out? Congressman-
All the church people in my district
will vote for me.-Puck
mr. Applying the Proverb.
er. "Satan seems to be about the best
ne friend the workingman has," said the
ess demoralizer. What dreadful
H. sentiment" said the moralizer.
''Why, I've heard you say that he al
ways finds work for idle hands to do"
said the demoralzeE Judge
~ Clever Operator.
he Upton-Your son has gone to specu-
tut lating in stock, l hear. Downtun-
ter Yes, mighty smart boy George is, l
le. can tell you? "Doing we'll, eh?"
"Splendidly Wonderfully! He's
been on the street for three months
and isn't broke yet Exchange.
At the Fair.
Jack Potts. am sorry, aunt, that
IN. you feel SO tired; for this japanese
it, section is most interesting Won't
GU you let me get you jinrikisha? Aunt
Bracer,-Well, perhaps 'twould make
me feel little better: but don't
have it made too strong. Puck.
nd
far Undoubtedly.
Ike Visitor-I understand this MUIR
dercrs case has excited much SYM
err pathy Keeper-Yes, indeed. His
he crime was very revolving. The red
= stains were still visible upon his
clothes when he was caught Visitor
blood will tell. -Detroit Tribune.
cr Improving Exercise.
ut Papa-See here, sir The police
e's man tells me you are one of the boys
Is" who jump on and of of railroad
u rains at the crossings? Small Son
Al Nh, that's real improvin' exercise.
hnl I I