davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
unintentIonnlly Mummy.

The making Of jokes has come to
be a recognized trade, but 1t is still
true that the funniest things are
those that are said Internationally
especially by men who feel it their
mission to be eloquent. The New
York Tribune brings together few
specimens Of that peculiar form of
ridiculous speech knows as anti-cll-
max, 1t prevails in India among all
classes, but is especially resorted to by
natives who have occasion to petition
Europeans for favors, Thus such a
man will say;
"Will the Presence, whose reputa-
tion for justice Is known from the
East to the West and whose counte-
nance spreads JOY among His inferl-
ors, who are as the sands of the sea-
shore, in number, graclously deign to
take but an lnstant's notice Of him
who has the delicious honor to name
himself one Of the most unworthy
among the servants of the Protector
of the Poor; and will the fayOrite
son of the Lord of the Universe mag
unanimously overlook my amazing pre-
sumption in asking him for the pay
ment Of bill of two annas for hen
feed?"
The same thing Is not unknown in
the United States. A Florida police
justice was trying to impress upon a
prisoner who was to testify in his
own behalf the solemn nature Of an
oath. Assuming the most pompous
tone he thus addressed him;
"Prisoner at the bar! In taking
this solemn oath to tell the truth
and nothing but the truth, take care
that you do not allow yourself to be
tempted to commit willful perjury.
Remember that the eye of an all-see-
ing Providence and the village con-
stable are upon you"
Another judge, in a rough and
ready but ambitious frontier town,
had occasion, or thought he had, to
comment severely upon the heinous
crime of DEMONSTRATING, and thun-
deTed forth
"For century after century that
dread command, Thou shalt not
steal, has rolled along the ages. 1t
is, moreover, a standing rule Of this
court, if not yet bylaw Of our pro-
gressive and soon-to-Se-incorporated
city,"
Ludicrous deliverances of a similar
sort are common in advertisements,
especially in those Of personal nat
ure Here is one that appeared not
long ago in New York paper;
willie, return to your distracted
wife and frantic children! Do you
want to hear Of your old mothers sui
eide? You will if you. do not let us
know where you are. Anyway, send
back your fathers colored meer-
schaum."
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
Betrayed by an Echo.

Perhaps the most interesting echo,
partly because of its history, is that
of the Cathedral of Girgenti, in Sicily,
where the slightest whisper is borne
with perfect distinctness from the
great western door to the corniCe be-
hind the high altar. The fact that
a faint whisper could be thus carried
25O feet was discovered accidentally
by a man who overheard the confess
sion of a fair sinner, the confessional
being just at the most unfortunate
place The secret was kept jealousy
guarded by the discCverer and few
intimate friends to whom he COntided
it, while escapades Of the most pri-
vate nature became public property
in the most mysterious way Finally
one listener had his curiosity more
than satiated by hearing his wife's
confession to the priest, and raised
such row that the secret became
known, and the location of the con-
fessional was changed to more Sc
cure part Of the ediflCe.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
Mixed Her Up.

The elevated stations, says the
New York Times, are constant
source Of turning about to absent
minded folk. Those at crowde
thcroughfares, where there are stairs,
not only on both sides Of the avenue,
but also Of the cross street, prove
particularly confusing to "transients.
The other day young woman, not
often in New York, stopped at one Of
these to ask the guard question.
you're on the uptown track" he
answered; ego downstairs and cross
the street." Downstairs she wenJ,
crossed 23d street, and appeared
again. 81 told you," repeated the
man, on seeing her, "to go down and
cross the street." Thoroughly be-
wildered, she went down, re-crossed,
and once more presented herself be-
fore the same guard. what ails
you?" he cried; Il said go down and
cross the street." Down she crept,
abashed, crossed the street and
climbed the stairs for the fourth
time AS she reached the top she
peered cautiously over. There stood
that man. She gathered up her
skirts, and, turning on her tiptoe,
raced down at the top Of her speed.
A little reflection on the kerb-stone
sent her, finally, rejoicing across the
avenue to the other track.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

at San Francisco, and her name Is
the Hiram Bingham. She was paid
for, however, by the American Board
Of Foreign Missions, Of Boston, and
is registered in that city. Rev. j.
Walkup, who commands her, is cap
tain as we'll as a missionary, who has
passed twelve years Of his life'among
the Gilbert Islands, Internally the
vessel is all cabin, as the crew Is
composed entirely of the missionaries
who intend to work among the ISL
ands, and the vessel is designed for
sort of tender to the big missionary
brig Morning Star. 1t is built, there
fore, to run in and out among all the
channels and harbors where the large
vessels cannot CO. and an odd feature
about 1t is a l0-horse-power gasoline
engine and attached screw, so the
vessel can navigate the narrow chan
nels by steam in a calm.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

more or less resemble daisies. Such
spots as are dotted regularly over the
muslin are easiest to manage, and
therefore usually chosen. The fol-
lowing shows a more elaborate way Of
working the flowers when the spots
are scattered among the details of a
leafy, branching pattern, The spots
are covered with French knots; the
rays Of the flowers are worked with
spike stitches placed on each side OF
straight line Of split stitch. A
good effect may also be gained by
working these sections with feather
veinlng, such as is used in many
kinds Of linen embroidery for the
midribs Of leaves and In similar
places. This work is even prettier
when a pale shade Of pink or blue Is
used for the flowers than when the
customary white tlloselle is employed,
which is rather apt to pass for a por-
tion Of the pattern already on the
muslin,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
Gould Then Lick stamns.

The chance that General John
Corse, who "held the fort" at ALA
toona, and, after a terrible battle,
declared that he could click all hell
yet," may again be appointed to
office, recalls to the Boston Globe this
incident: When he was made post
master of Boston, the newspapers
were full of stories Of his valor, and
scores of clippings were sent to him
at his home in Winchester. Repe-
titions of the phrase just quoted
were abundant. At length, one day,
his wife, half in jest and half in a
feeling of annoyance, said to the
general: "There is one consolation at
least and that is you have got
through licking all hell, and will Oc-
cupy yourself for some time to come
in licking postage-stamps."
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
CAPTURED A CATARACT.
Capitalists VIII Soon Have Put Niagara
to Hard Work.

Capitalists VIII Soon Have Put Niagara
to Hard Work.
For more than flftyyears the dream
of engineers has been to "harness
Niagara" Well, the dream has come
true. Niagara is in harness.
To be sure, the trace-chains have
not yet been hooked to the whiffle-
trees of industry, but the collar and
harness. the bride and Bit are in
position and ready for the strain
when it shall come.
The greatest cataract Of the world
has been subdued, says Buffalo cor
respondent of the New York Press,
and if, in knowledge of its captivity,
its roar is more sullen than of yore
when it existed only as an insur-
mountable obstacle to navigation and
a wonder for sightseers to grow
solemn over, the smiles on the faces
of capitalists, the new jingle in the
pockets of residents Of the village of
Niagara Falls, and the cOmplacent
prophecies of the BuffalOnian that
ten years hence Chicago will not be
in it, sir; no, sir, not on your life, "
are atonements.
1t is estimated that the total power
of the great waterfall is equal to that
Of 100000 horses. The present
scheme will only utilize less than
1-l00th Of that vast wasting force,
but it may be stretched in the future
to as great length as may be made
useful.
The effect Of this great enterprise
may not be as great as the sanguine
remark Of the Buffalo man who has
been quoted would imply, but it will
be very great.
But plan has been devised where
by the power will be electrically
transmitted to Buffalo with compare
lively small loss, so that the city will
undoubtedly come in for many OF the
puddlng's plums.
The first attempt to utilize the
water power Of Niagara Falls was
made by Horace A. Dey, who in 1850
built the old hydraulic canal running
from above the rapids to what are
now known as Shoelkopf's mills, on
the brink of the cataract. This canal
discharges its water into wheelpits
only sixty fSst deep, which in turn
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

Mrs. J. r. Green, the wife of the
English historian, aided him in his
researches and wrote at his dictation
sometimes as many as eleven hours a
day. This brought on writer's cramp,
but instead of laying down her pen
Mrs. Green taught herself to write
with her left hand. Besides assist
ing in the production of the "Short
History" she has written some on her
own account-the life of Henry
H." English Town Life in the Mid
die Ages" and "Town Life in the
Fifteenth Century" all penned with
the left hand. OF course this was
before the days of the typewriter.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
The MarseIIIos Hymn.

The famous French national song
had singular origin. Early in 1892,
during the first French revolution, a
column Of volunteers was about leav-
ing Strasburg, and the Mayor gave
them banquet, and asked young
officer named Rouget de Lisle to COM
pose song in their honor. He con-
sented, and in the course Of single
night produced the song and the tune
to which it is sung. 1t was received
with great enthusiasm, and by its
means the column was increased
from 900 to 1000. 1t was soon sung
by the whole army Of the north, but
was still unknown in Paris. In July
the youth of Marseilles were sum-
moned to Paris, and they came sing
ing this hymn. The Parisians were
electrified, and they gave 1t the name
of the "Marseill&ise," which it has
borne ever since. 1t is sung with true
French enthusiasm on every inspiring
occasion.
The following is translation OF
the hymn:
THE MARsEILLES HYMN,
Ye sons Of France, awake to glory!
Hark, bark, what myrlads bid you rise
Your children, wives, and grandsires
hoarY-
Behold their tears and hear their cres
Shall hateful tyrants, mischief breeding.
With hireling hosts, a ruffian band,
Alright and desolate the land,
III 10 hos md IN h1nnAtnRp
To arms! to arms ye brave!
The avenging sword unsheathe!
March on march on all hearts resolved
On victory or death!
Which treacherous kings confederate
raise;
The dogs OF war, lot loose, are bowling,
And, 10! our fields and cities blaze,
And shall we basely Wow the ruin,
While lawloss force, with guilty stride,
Spreads desolation far and wide,
With crimes and blood his hands imbru.
ing?
"With luxury and pride surrounding,
Tho bold insatlate despots dare
Their thirst Of gold and power unbounded-,
To mete and vend the light and air.
Like beasts Of burden would they load us,
Like gods would bid their slaves adore;
But man is man, and who is moreP
Then shall they longer lash and goad us1
10 Liberty, can man resign thee,
Once having felt thy generous fame2
Can dungeons, bolts, or bars conane thee
Or whips thy noble spirit tanner
Too long the world has wept, bewalllng
That Falsehoods dagger tyrants WELD,
But Freedom Is our sword and shield,
And all their arts are unavailing"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

Along Grisly Bear river, in the
Rockies, there are many bear haunts
or wintering dens, which the Indian
guides point out to travellers. Ac'
cOrding to Indian stories, a bear will
lie in a dark and secluded retreat all
winter without food or nourishment,
sucking its paws. The bear does not
burrow in the ground, but covers
himself with fallen leaves. Over the
den the snow is often many feet deep,
and the bears hiding place is only
discovered by an air hole, so small
that nothing but the keen eyes of the
savage could find it. The Indians
say that the Rocky Mountain bear
lie thus in torpid state from De-
cember until March.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
A Mild ReproOE

The other morning Jones turned
up at the Office even later than usual.
His employer, tired of waiting for
him, had himself set about register
ing the days transactions, usually
Jones first duty. The enraged mer-
chant laid his pen aside very deliber-
ately, and said to Jones, very sternly
indeed:
Jones, this will not do"
"No, sir" replied Jones, gently,
drawing off his Oyercoat, as he
glanced over his employers shoulder,
"it will not. You hive entered Nc
Kurken's order in the wrong book.
Far better TO have waited till came"
Yankee Blade.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
A TERRIBLE TALE.
And tho Resultant Tragedy Was Left to
tho Imagination.

And tho Resultant Tragedy Was Left to
tho Imagination.
Several gentlemen, sitting together
IN the smoking compartment Of a
Pullman car fell to relating their
experiences in railroad accidents
Four or five adventures of the sort
had been related, when an English
man in the party declared that all
these stories were as nothing com
pared with IA railway tragedy in his
own country, Of which he had been
an unwilling spectator. OF course he
was at once called upon to tell the
story.
give years ago." the Englishman
said, 81 took the o'clock train one
morning from Bristol to go to a town
about twenty miles distant, 1t was
q local branch road, AS you are no
doubt aware, the English locomotives
are not furnished with comfortable
cabs for engineer and tlreman-or as
we call them, the driver and the
stoker-as yours are. Those two
persons are practically out-of-doors.
"Our train had gone on without in
cident for some miles, when |, who
was in one Of the foremost carriages,
heard loud voices, apparently Of per-
sons in violent quarrel, somewhere
in front of me. put my head out
Of the carriage window, aud saw that
the engine-driver and stoker were en-
gagged in a fight on the engine.
"Thelr angry words became fewer
and fewer as their blows rained
thicker and thicker upon each other.
Finally they clutched in desperate
struggle. The driver seemed to be
engaged in an attempt to force the
stoker off the engine.
81 shouted to the guard, but he
was out Of hearing in the after part
of the train. Nearer and nearer the
two desperate men came to the step
Of the engine. The driver gave his
antagonist a desperate push; the
stoker saw that he was gone, but
chung to the driver. A last terrible
struggle, and over both went to the
ground.
"This left the engine entirely un-
attended. Evidently the steam had
been left fully turned on, for the
train began to rush forward at an in
creasing rate of speed On and on
we went, at a pace which became
terrible, No one could get to the
locomotive, and no one knew how to
handle it if he could have got there.
ave whizzed past station where
we should have stopped, and caught
glimpses of astonished faces looking
at us. Past another station-past a
third-past a fourth, on we whirled,
at an even swifter speed.
"Then we all knew that the next
station was terminus. When we
reached that we should be hurled
against a buffer, and the train
would be wrecked. What was to be
done?
Nothing was done. We plunged
on and on. The terminus came into
view. 1t came nearer and nearer,
seeming to bulge swiftly into greater
size as we bore down upon it. In a
moment more"
The door of the smoking compart-
ment opened, and the porter called
out, Albany"
"Good-day, gentlemen" said the
Englishman, getting up quickly.
Sorry, but this is my station"
He disappeared, and the Others in
the smoking compartment never
heard how the story came out.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

the top of the wall to the road Is
eleven feet. There was a rise of five
feet on the other or taking side of
the wall, which completely hid the
drop into the road, The rider did
not see his danger until it was too
late to turn back, His horse jumped
well out from the top Of the wall and
landed on the road almost against
the opposite bank The shock was
tremendous, but no damage was done.
Both horse and rider continued to
the end of the run.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
TwELyE-INCH BREEcH-LOADING MoRTARs
necessary to ship them to New York
by water, where they were reshipped
on the Pennsylvania road to Chicago.
JEALOUSY AMONG sAvAoEs.
How an African King Seeks to Preserve His
Family Honor.


The green-eyed monster has very
firm hold upon the King of Mossi.
Capt. Binger, who has recently seen
him, says that this peculiar African
prince is perpetually unhappy over
the thought that one or another Of
his wives may deceive him. UnfOr-
tunately he is not able in his huts of
straw to sequestrate the ladies of his
household so effectively as is done in
Oriental seraglios, and he has there
fore resorted to extraordinary meas
ures to preserve the fair name of his
family.
Capt. Binger says that this gallant
potentate shayes the heads of his
wives, tattoos their faces after a
fashion that is not popular in his
land, and the more repulsiye he can
make them appear to others the bet
ter he likes them. His methods
seem well calculated to scare away
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

that the process will be recommended,
She is nervous, rather irritable and
of incredible vivacity; has a passion
for music, and sings and dances with
correctness. Her receptions are at
tended by "Lyska," young lady who
is IA years old and seven feet eight
inches in height. Lyska wears on
her third finger a ring four inches
rOund
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

The term "tabby cat" is derived
rom Atab, a famous street in Bag
lad, inhabited by the manufacture
,rs Of silken stuff called atibi or
jaffety. This stuff is woven with
waved markings of watered silk re-
,emhling a "tabby" cats coat.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

discharge at point more than 100
feet above the level Of the river be-
low the falls, so that more than
three-quarters Of the possible force is
wasted. The old hydraulic canal gives
in all only about 5000 available horse
nnWdnr.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
The GIRLS Telegram.

Ten girls in composition class in
a Cincinnati school were instructed
by their teacher to write a telegram
such as would be suitable to send
home in case Of a railroad accident
while travelling. One of the girls
wrote: "Dear Papa: Mamma is
killed. am in the refreshments
,,,ov,, y
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
NEW ORDNANCE FOR THE FAIR.
Mortar and Carriage of Unique Type for
the Government Exhibit.

There was recently shipped from
Providence, R. l., for the Govern
ment exhibit at the Worlds Fair a
mortar and carriage of a new type.
The pieces are somewhat unique in
principle and construction. The &C
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

companying cuts represent them just
as they will appear at the Exposition.
The carriage being fourteen feet in
diameter, no railroad could take
them out of New England on account
of the low bridges, and it was found
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
MIDGET FROM SOUTH AMERICA.

"Prlncess Topaze" Now on Exhibition
with Giantess In London.
Princess Topaze" is holding recep-
tions at the Royal Aquarium, Lon
don. She was born in Buenos Ayres,
and is now 16 years of age, fifteen
pounds in weight and twenty inches
in height. She stopped growing
when 8 years old, and it is not likely
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
OLDEST HOUSE IN AMERICA.

1t Is Built of Adobe and Stands In Santa
Fe, New Mexico.
Down in old Santa Fe, the capital
of New Mexico, the Oldest seat Of
civil and religious government on
American soil, there exist many re-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
NEEDLE WORK DAISIES.
A Now Fad for Women OF Leisure Who
Know How to EmbroIder.

Most amateur embroiderers seek
some kind Of work that involves a
small amount Of trouble giving good
results and this is found in daisy
embroidery upon soft white muslin
Of spotted patterns. The object is to
convert these spots into flowers that
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
A BIG JUMP.
Horse and Rider Unexpectedly Drop Eleven
Feet, UnlnJured.

The Jump shown In the illustration
was made by an officer Of the Royal
Irish Regiment, on Nov 20, 1892, at
Clonmel, Ireland. The distance from
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
Two Fools in One Family.

I Il W. IT VUIs III VIIO "IIIlIJs
Through the medium of a matri-
monial paper a Pittsburg man be-
! came engaged to his own daughter.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06
LITTLE BUT USEFUL.
rho Hiram Bingham, Made for Missionary
Work Among the Gilbert Islands

The smallest missionary vessel
ahoat recently left San Francisco for
the Gilbert Islands. She Is 80 feet
long, IA feet wide, and 6 feet deep,
is a two-masted schooner, was built
The record-union., 1893-06-29
ADJUSTMENTS.

The boX-sheet for the reservation Of
seats for the Ruined Abbey" production
tomorrow night opens at the Clunie
Opera-house this morning. Mr.. Moynahan
resents the statement that he is not the
author of the play. While conceding all
credit due to Mr.. HALEY for any work he
performed upon the play some time ago.
Moynahan says it is his conception, his
play, and his only. The story of the
drama, in brief, involves the proposed
marriage OF Gerald, son of Harold
Cation, with Nora % Hanlon, the daugh-
ter of an Irish tenant farmer. Ralph
Thornton is his rival. He announces the
loss OF the elder Gratton's ship-he being
a merchant trader. By this loss the
Graftons are financially ruined. Thorn
ton advises the father of a buried treas
ure in a ruined abbey, there deposited by
one of his ancestors under the supersti-
ton that none could eXhume it except he
be descendant of the original owner, be
born on Good Friday and have a son
aged q. Harold fills the bill and at
temptS to recover the treasure, when he
is set upon by Thornton and his accom-
plice, Riley, and is murdered. Thornton
secures the treasure but his crime was
witnessed by Shaun McGown, a half
Witted lad who receives from the dying
man a paper taken from the casket
and on which the dying man writes
Thornton's name, and an accusation Of
murder. The Grafton family is reduced
to want, Thornton becomes their creditor
ana threatens TO distress the son and
his mother unless he relinquishes his
suit for Nora's hand and leaves Ireland.
A duel results that places the villain at
the mercy OF the hero, who refuses to
avail of his advantage. Thornton op-
presses both the Grafton and QHanlon