Evening capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1888-1893, 1893-01-09
MERRY CHRISTMAS IN THE AIR.'

A Club Man who Thinks It Costs q Good
Deal to Give That Greeting.
Old Marley may or may not be as dead
as doornail, but this is not u Christmas
carol And yet it happens to be about
Christmas. There were lot of young
men in various indolent attitudes about
the loafng room of Fifth avenue club.
They all belonged to class Of young
men who frequent the clubs for the rea-
son that they can get there month and
fifteen days credit for what they eat,
drink and smoke, and thus are enabled
to live month and half ahead of their
incomes. The oldest member Of the
group was reading one Of those alleged
humorous periodicals which blossom out
in the holiday season with fearfully and
wonderfully illustrated legends satirical
Christmas stories and pithy inaxims of
the peace on earth. good will toward
men order.
''The man who wrote that was either
chump or liar" asserted the reader
suddenly, throwing down his paper
What did he writer asked man
who was staring at the embers of the
open fire.
why. the Poor Richard. or King Solo
man. or Martin Tupper who runs n col
umn of aphorisms in his blooming paper
says:
1T doesn't cost any money to wish
people merry Christmas.
Now that fellow has never lived in
New York in about the social rut along
which we are grinding. or il he has he's
willfully supressing the truth. You fell
lows know as well rs do that it costs
money, lots of it., to wish people merry
Christmas. Why, without Il moments
reflection any of us could string out a
long price list of assorted merry Christ
masses, to wit:
Wishing elevator boy at your apart
ment house merry Christmas, from 81 to
s.; wishing hall boy ditto, ditto; wish.
ing washerwoman merry Christmas.
from 81 up; wishing elevator boy at
your Office building ditto. ditto; wishing
merry Christmas to your Office boy one
extra weeks salary: wishing ditto to
stenographer, ditto; wishing your waiter
at luncheon place merry Christmas. 81,
wishing your barber the same. change
out of the bill given up for Christ
mas shave; wishing merry Christmas TO
hostler who takes care of your horse. $5.
ditto to stable foreman. one box cigars.
$3.50
AT every club we enter Christmas
list stares us in the face. and the old
doorman and the call boys. the coat check
boy and the clerk keep one eye on the
list and the other on each entering men,
ber until he has added his autograph to
the growing collection. If a fellow goes
to law school or medical school, he
finds the janitor waiting in the hall on
the last night before the Christmas re-
cess with a subscription list tackled up
by the door and the gas lighter in his
hand as pointer wherewith to call at
tention to it. tell you there's no way
for single man in big city to beat
this Christmas game. Talk about the
tariff being tax; it's nothing alongside
of Christmas. Money talks, and it's the
only kind Of talk that goes in this merry
Christmas business.
"Of course fellow does get a present
IIOil d pSst BiIi VI tWo ocCdSiouauy' uuI
he has more than to make it up by return
presents direct, or indirectly by flowers,
theater tickets, etc. Christmas is awfully
one sided. The companies, clients and
patients who employ us fellows never
wish us merry Christmas In the New
York vernacular."
mo" said the man who was still star
ing dreamily into the fire; ''the only way
to get square with the game is to marry.
and then your wife will buy your pres
ents and have 'em charged to your ac-
count"
And the back log snapped out shower
of sparks in emulation OF this brilliant
solution Of the difficulty. York
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