Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1893-12-24


vim ~ acne IN this vieini<y. cd Mr.
1s,ass ia - uus tsa< ! hsxs epnmif-
"a ths almost ulpp4rdanzfls an q b.
M lsts e . chrss<mas dinner. dont yea
ksoN, bat sn szlps you VII forgive Ne.
/ .lso r1ok tie tn rty. which req are
aael. tired s11u1Ib - oFef-ook< At D<tn<-
nag several fsisnds VITA ne. We VIII
ncf ssLsv TIE diIlser any loaxer.'
az ie concladsd Jc1ss waistlsd twiee.
de 3xssIng room and hall doors opsned.
ard rwo mere burglars. MASKED and
srn,sd sxactly HE their i<ader. stepped
into tbs dining rscuL
~Aljos ms 70 present 1fessrz Brown
nnd Jsnes Smith. hrotlsers and sxeelIsnt
oolnpsny. They wsl1 lend the briIisnos
e uAsir tr~senee % tins notable gather
m. ShunI yoa know. and win DO ample
tsei<e 60 your turkey and your wines"
40 Janas Yea must have heard Of
th<ss yonng men, who belong 20 the
fxmaus Bowery family q Jcneses. and
wknse snc<stors have noe only besn nosed
for ysarx don't y5u know. - skiilfsj
rolle.<crs Of zlvpr. gold and dismondA
has hare slso besn much soaght amer By
proniaert city cfzcialz.
.~At lrss< two-of fhrir near RELATIVES
have teen the principal actors IN events
that have been described al great length
IN the newspapers. events whsch. unhap-
ply, dent you know. resulted In the un-
tiznr1y death Of both gvntlemen- So
You Ne that your guests are not ordl-
nary people By any means. don't you
understand. ssen II your welcome has =
lack Of warmth about IL hardly appro-
pirate for such day Of rejoicing and
loving kindness Is today"
~wsll-weli. bah Jover' gasped Mr..
Girard
s'I<svs ~ instz1tlys- cried Mr.. Van
Tassel He attempted to rise from his
chair a. be spoke. bat Jones Smith. who
stood behind him. pressed the cold
rnxrls Of . revolver 10 the back Of his
bead. and be sat down again precipi-
lately.
'.Pleass do not move. Cornelius. plead
ed Mrs. Van THss<l. beginning 70 shed
tears. .sor these horrid-thess gentlemen
VIII kin your
Eyes. Cornelns: please remain IN
your chair. for whenever You move like
that I am Ia mortal terror. don't you
ses. lest q revolver somewhere should
70 OF and hur. you. dont you know"
said T. Brown Jones. For fear, how
ever. that he mss be indiscreet. secure
him 20 tins chair" the burglar added, adj
dressing his companions
"B-hsh--bah Jove! Deuced shame~
cried Mr.. Girard.
The two scions OF famous Bowery fam
ilies not only obeyed their leaders in
structions. but they also bound MrS Van
Tsssel, Mr.. and Mrs Girard and Mr..
and Mrs. Cowles firmly TO the chairs In
which they sat. The gentlemen muir
INJURED loudly against this indignity to
their wives. bat the cold steel OF three
reviewers was an argument that they
were rcwerless against.
Il was in vain that Mr.. Girard pro-
tested. with numerous Bah Joves. and
finally IN despair he vigorously damned
his rnonocle into his right eye. knowing
that he would soon Be unable 70 adjust
Il. Ths arms and legs Of the men were
securely fastened, bat the ladies were
simply bound 70 their seats by the arms.
The burglars accomplished their task In
a. gentle and polite q manner as possible.
and not one Of the captives was really
suffering physically.
There's another member Of the noted
Smith family in the house. continued
Mr.. 7. Brown Jones. ''but Iregret to
say that nc present he IL busily engaged
IN sitting on your negro chef, who viii
insist upon rolling about and endeavor-
ing 70 release himself from bondsge, and
IN keeping an eye. don't you see, on your
n1aid- As soon, however. as he gets the
chef securely corralled between the legs
Of your bigrefrigerator. don't you know.
be may favor rs with his company
.well, what do yor wantr demanded
Nr. Van Tassel "Why don't you take
what we hare and get ont and allow my
guests 20 enjoy their dinner
II viii attend 10 everything IN good
time. Cornelius, but the heavy move
ment in silver. don't yen know. cannot
take place yet very well. for the reason
that the silver Is all in use. That beau
tifnl solid silver soup tureen must be
epaptied. for instance. don't you see, and
II hunger il gnawing at your vitals sup
pose ne begin operations
II scs covers are only laid for six. but
that need not embarrass you. Ny Bow
cry friends viii assist you In moving
closer together. 50 that there will BE-
from for rs &C your hospitable table
All, that IL Just the thing. There's room
and 20 spare. Now the surplus dining
rom chairs Well done. my friends"
As he gave utterance To these approx
ing words. Mr.. T. Brown Jones took his
eat At the head Of the table beside Mr..
Van Ts<sel. deposited his revolvers on
I tse Of the lace doilies. spread = napkin
across his lap and drew Mr.. Van Tss-
tsl's yellow chryssnthemum through his
buftouhoie.
My favorise fower-since IL has been
society fad he said simply. Now.
Mrs. Van Tassel. do me the kindness "a
ring for your u1a:1 Three more covers,
ZOO know. for us. and dinner served for
fins instead Of SIX the burglar sddei,
earelsssly hfting one Of his revolvsrs &C
that it wss lcveled in the direction Of
the fearful hostess.
We'll. bah Jovef' calculated Mr.. Gil
rsrsi. n the fan force Of sudscioua Mr.
Janes' intentions dawned mon him.
His iacs Suddenly expanded into such 4
lSok II sstoaiehment that his faithful
monocie. which had remained where hi
h.d pat IL all through the binding ordeal
- theozh glu~d n the spot, fsll from hi'
Il III 49,. a.