Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-11-09

/ 10 suit dts Ills reward TO gam
sharp and most decisive pain
Around the waist
lis tallacy. The boy may fill
Himself with such things at his will
| And never ache.
But if man take a bite
With hidous torture all the night
He'll fairly quake
Washington Star.
Miss Summit hear that your
father has sold his yacht" Miss PAIL
sade-'Yes, he couldn't afford to keep
it. Miss Summit-"Then the report
that you are going to be married isn't
true |'-Vogue.
Witherby-You haven't seen my new
boy, have you? They say he takes
after his father. Plankington-If he
takes the same things his father takes
I'm sorry for him, old man.-Detroit
Free press.
J Wirepull-'The morning paper saws
that you alderman brought that new
| electric railway to terms on that fran
chise matter in short order last night
Is it uueT Steenthward-''Yo bet"
Wirepull- What We're the terms?'
Steenthward- Five hundred for each
yote''-Buffalo Courier.
Now we have money enough to send
our minister away for a two months
vacation" isn't that long holidays"
Yes; but then we feel as though we
deserve it."-Chicago mter-Ocean.
What a superb facet" said one
Boston girl to another as they stood
before a marble head of Minerva.
Yes" said the other What nose
for clesr'-Harper's Bazaar.
! TOmmy-My fathers in the butcher
business. What business is yourn in?
Sammy-My father don't have to foller
any business. He's alderman.-Chicago
Tribune.
What a dazzling, bewildering thing
city directory in India must be!-Wash-
/ ington Star.
He-'Is there anything I can do to
prove my affection so that you will not
doubt it?' She-"There is Marry sister.
She is older than I, and mamma is de-
termined not to let me marry until
sister is opposed Indianapolis
| Journal
| Great Editor-'NThat new society re-
porter will not do. He has not master.
ed the first principles of modern journ-
alism." Manager-"Eh, what is the
matter?' Great Editor-''He says
! handsomely dressed instead Of smart
ly gowned. "-Vogue.
ALL HIT.
She hid her lovely auburn head
Upon his manly breast;
Il will be yours" she coyly said,
That ring has stood the test"
Detroit Free Press.
At the Fair Grounds.-Guest Tin Ari-
IONA restaurant -"How's this? Twenty
five cents for that dish? It's marked
ten cents on the bill of fare" Waiter
Yes, sir. That's for tOmaytoes. You
asked for Tomatoes. When you want
style an luxury at this eatin' house
you pay fur it''-Chicago Tribune.
: Sarcastic Citizen: Travelling on the
recommendation of your physician, l
suppose? Hungry Higgins: Nav, on
de recommendation of me lawyer
Indianapolis Journal
Some of those people who are deal
ing with old Wodkins will take a
after awhile or / miss my guess"
whats the matter with Wodkins?"
He sells hammOcks. detroit Free
Press.
Cobble-How do you find trade?
Stone-Thats the great trouble L
can't find it.-Clothier and Furnisher.
Innocent-"Johnny," said the teacher,
where is Stamp" Il don't know,
mama," said Johnny, II haven't had
it," -Harper's Young People.
Captain, will you kindly tell me
what time it is ?" asked Jonesby from
the cabin of his yacht. six bells, sir"
returned the captain. "Oh, hang bellsl'
said Jonesby. What time is it on
shore?"-Harpers Bazaar.
rs the editor doing business at the
old standY NO, at the old move
three miles ahead of the sheriff and
still going Atlanta Constitution.
Northern visitors Ito Gergia peniten-
tiary)-'How did you come here, my
or colored man.? BOSS, I amt come
heah at all; white folks fotch me heah!"
Atlanta Constitution.
why did you take that trip TO the
Bermudas if you knew it would cost
you so many hundreds?" "Ah, but
ESCAPED two Creditors whom I owed
eighteen dollars. Chicago Record.
Now said the professor in the
medical school, 'let me hear what you
can say of nerve centres" And the
students who had just been contemplate
ing the magnificent presumption Of the
Worlds fair city replied: 1.-THE biggest
nerve centre that / know of is Chica-
go."-WashingtOn Star.
Boston Handicapped TO Kitty
Gadsby? You surprise me! thought
you were in love with Zurilda McGin-
mis-. Rickaby-I was, but [ had to
propose by letter and l didn't know
how to make a Z-Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Dude-I was thinking how much
/ resembled your carpet-always at
your feet, you know. Miss Sly-Yes,
you are very much like my carpet. L
am going to shake it soOn.-Judge.
Us Thompson in business now"
"Only in very quiet way. He is silent
partner in a private deaf and dumb
institute indianapolis Journal,
"Mr. Pennersby," said the city editor
to the reporter "did you write this
, sentence - the congressman stood
speechIess with amazement?" Eyes. Is