Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-02-25
PITH AND POINT.

The doctor never seems willing to
leave we'll enough alone.
The military prisoner makes his escape
in an unguarded moment.
Binx calls his doctor his biographer
for the reason that he is q. work upon
his life.
You never can judge a man from his
appearance in wedding ult.-Hartford
Journal.
Samson was the first man on record to
bring down the house. Union County
Standard.
Out in Chicago they refer to the new
Columbian coins as their "better halves"
Statesmen.
The man who aspires to make sue.
cessful pickpocket should study free.
hand drawing.
Whenever there is any doubt about
dogs sanity an ounce of lead is worth a
pound of re.-Mercury.
Men most liberal in their views give
away their opinions freely before tuey are
George-'.Why do you frown upon
my suit2" Msisie--"Because it's ready
made. New York Telegram.
Ignorance isn't bliss by any means
when the schoolmaster is getting out the
old rattan. -Somervillc Journal.
A carpenter is known by his chips,
but a barber is known by his shingle,
and shaviugs. Mail and Express.
One frontier industry has been ruined
in Idaho. Horses in that new State are
too caeap to steal.--Colorai 10 Sun.
A photographer is one of the most in
dependent OF men; he never hestates 10
present his views.-Lowell Courier.
Perhaps they're called crossings be-
cause their condition is eaough to NIKE
people cross. Philadelphia Record.
Every time man gets abused By
other men it strengthens mis- me nory for
ma mes and faces. Ate GIBSON Globe.
An upright ju lge needn't be asian, |
of his sentenc IS even in the presence o.
the strictest grammarians. Troy Press.
Few Do:"I wish my income WAS like
the Golden Rule, Slimkins.' "ies2
Why2" "Theu couldn't live up to it..
When a man naerits portion o:
goodly estate be has no trouble in tial
ing people ready to take his part. ~
Gazette,
There are said to be fifty thousand
muscles in au elephants trunk. 1t must
have been packed by a woman. Ten.
nessee Twinklings.
1t is fortunate for woman that she has
better aim in life than the ole she
takes when throwing stone at tramp
hen.-New York Telegram.
Ethel-"They say the Rev d.. Bishop
rehearses all his s,rmoas beforehln
Clara THAT is quite right; ne practices
what he breaches. The Club,
"Thst will do for the present" as the
Young mau remarked as ne paid for
box of cheap candy for his sweethearts
birthday gitt.-Philadelphia Record.
He (proudly)-"My love has no end"
She Quickly -"Hasn't it9 Well, you
want to make limit mighty quick. Let
it end with me and go no further. =
Vogue.
Wife -"Doctor, my husband is SUB
iect to fits. Wat shall DOR Paysi.
c.au-"Tell him, madam, to order his
clothes in London. "-CIothier aud Fur.
nisher.
81 knows why bees never sit down"
said Walter. "Why, my dear}' askei
his mother. "'Cause they has pins in
their coat tails and. they's afraid to. ~
Mercury.
She-"Why is it when doctors get ill
they never attend to their own case,l"
He-"T don't know; but should say it
was because they can't charge themselves
for it. "-Tit-Bits.
Tomdik-"Do yol think that Ameri
can women are growing tallerl' Hojacs
81 don't know about that, but they are
keeping American men as short as ever. "
New York Telegram.
Trotter-"Women have very little
appreciation OF anything that is really
funny" Csrlow-'I don't know about
that-look at Chollg de Void. He seems
to be very popular with some. Vogue.
al really think, said McGszeeen Bard.
let's, "thst my poetry is quite as good az
Tennyson's." "Auyhow," SAID the
young woman s,othingly. sit certainly
looks Just as well. Washington Star.
Mrs. Crimsonbeacl-" here,
John; this toy tramp bought for John
ME, have wound up three times, but 1t
won't work. Mr.. Crimsoabeach- at
must be an exc client imitation of tramp,
then"
al heard snappingtou blowing up that
hare Drained son OF his again." said the
woman who lives next door. "Yes, ="
replied the husband, sits strange how
much easier it is to keep up the supply
of feud and fool than it is OF food aud
fuel. Washington Star.
For really elegant" English, 1t
would be difficult to surpass the fol.
lowing from the pen of reporter Of the
Providence Journal: "At the close q;
the speech the company emphasized their
appreciation of the sentiments by resort
TO manual aud pedal agitation. New
York Post.