The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-06-07
A Difficult Problem.

One cf the most perplexing of the
many problems the mother of a large
family in perpetuslly called on to solve,
is how wisely to adapt her government to
the different dispositions of her children,
and to harmonize them with each other.
One son may inherit the disposition of a
grandfather, another may have traits re-
semblinG those of remote uncle or aunt,
another may be the helpless victim of
prenatal influences, while still another
may be no harmoniously composed as to
require no management at all. Children
of the same family often differ as widely
as those that are not akin to each other,
and the problem of Bringing out of these
diversities the greatest sum total of vir-
tue, harmony and happiness is not easy
of solution. In every family, where there
is vigor and originality, there must be
between the members of it more or less
clashipg of tasts, opinions, prejudices of
inclination and passion, of will and reso-
luton. The judicious management of
these conflicting elements, for they can
not be suppressed, requires on the part
of the parent the utmost self-control,
composure, discretion and good judg-
ment.
The irst thing to be done in order to
manage a child is to understand him
thoroughly. The next, to adopt such
means as will bring him into willing
subjection to his parents will and enable
him by degrees to acquire the direction
and control of bis own powers; for he
must learn to obey before be can com.
mand even himself. So far as is posi-
BILE, every father should put himself, and
every mother herself,in in the child's place,
look at things through the chid's eyes,
and gently lead him in the right path
Thus deals God with US. "He remem-
bereth our Frame" and suits His dealing.
to each individual case, giving to each
the particular thing which at the time ia
best.
Some children require only look by
way of reproof, of correction, of guild
ance; others are governed by love of ap.
probation, othera by fear of punishment
but in every case an appeal should be
first made to the highest motive that can
influence the child, and in failure Of
that, to lower motives. For this an in
finite fund of good common sense and o1
good nature is needed on the part of the
parent.
The PARENTS work upon the children
cannot be finished in day or 8, year, but
runs through all the lives of both parents
and children to the end. 1t is series Of
touches here and there, q succession o
influences, an atmosphere thrown round
them, an inspiration more than all, an
example. If the mother loves them and
makes them conscious of it, if she is gov
erned herself by high motives, and con-
tinually holds them up to her OWL
standards, though she may not see the
immediate results she desires to see, il
the end it will appear that not one effort
on her part has been made in vain.
There is only one way of bringing al
the members of one family into unity
and that is by the law of love. Wher
each one in honor prefers the other
though diversities may still exist, there
will be unity; though discords may
arise, they will resolve themselves into
concorGs, and the concords will be al
sweeter for the occasional dissonanct
miugling with the harmony.-N Y. Ad
vocate.l