davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
Not a Dictionary.


She was q young teacher from the East
on her way to the Western states to
teach school. She had gone away from
home with an idea that her destination
was in wild and wOolly" place, and
that the biggest crop was Indians.
Her idea rapidly changed, however,
and as she was speeding on toward the
broad Pacific she conided her doubts
about civilization TO fellow passenger, a
Misunderstanding, middle-aged man, and
told the purpose Of her trip vas 10 teach
school.
"Are you prepared p he asked, in the
tone Of clerical exsminerto one about
tOdepart on the long journey from which
there is no end.
"Yes." she said, tim;dly; Il think 50.
so. have been graduated twice, and
Taught 4 whole year at home"
Indeed You have some advantage,
anyway. VIII you permit me TO ask you
a few questions
~Oh, yes; I wish you would. have
passed good examinations in the East,
but 1 think I don't fully understand
Western ideas"
well, suppose you tell me what con-
stitutes glass"
why, white sand and-why, don't
remember what else. How queer
am so sorry. wish
~Oh, never mind Don't get excited.
It's all right Where is Olumin.um
found ?"
-Oh, it Is mined, isn't it?7
NO. it is a product Of manufacture.
What is brass made OFF,
The muscles about her mouth quivered
and her voice trembled slightly as she
said
y guess It IS maje Of copper ard iron,
bat don't know. Its 50 stupid Of me
to forget, but have worked 50 hard to
remember everything, and l haven'tsuc-
eeeded- Il makes me fee very bad"
~My dear young lady, you are on the
road TO success. You can't teach the
young idea how to shoot any better By
knowing the composition of al things
probable. Know fewer things, but know
them well. What the Wes, IS flooded
with Is walking encyclopedias, and we've
had enough Of them. Just throw of your
superanous knowledge and you'll sue
ceed."
And she did.-Deir0t Free Pres.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
Practical Philosophy.


When we say that man is sound We
generally mean that he agrees with Is.
When 3 man Is TO good at anything
in particular his frie nds fiatter his van
ity by calling him versatile
Some Of Us reserve our best smile for
select occasions. as though wearing It
upon al occasions would not improve It..
The self made man holds thzt his pa
rents were minnows AMI he is a whale
There Is one lucky thins about spoiled
children-xe never have them IN orr
own family.
A widow is one who has buried her
husband; gas widox Is one who has
simply mislaid him.
Matrimony IS a high ssE for which no
compass has vet been invented.
shadow IS always darker and larger
than the figure that makes it.
A mans hates and his dislikes always
determine his true character. A mans
afiinities determine what he IS and who
he is.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
Donts for Young Mothers.

Don't give mint for the nerves.
Don't drug the child with sweet syr-
ups.
Don't give it meat Of any kind under
any circumstances.
Don't fatigue or agitste the child II
you want 70 keep it well.
Don't give things to the baby which
everybody recommends.
Don't give it tspiOca or fsrinaCeous
foods or potatoes before it is able TO mas
ticzte.
Don't develop the child in too narrow
fashion. nature viii protect the child
herself
Don't give the child drink whenever it
cries. Ofen the f1llness Of the stomach
is the cause Of its slferings.
Don't forget during teething to give L
from time 70 time some cold water TO
drink. This Is very relieving to the in
fiamel little gums.
Don't fail 10 accustOm the child TO
regularity in meals. To give It the breast
every hour or every second hour viii
suffice during the first months.
Don't give il castor oil in ease Of coz
stipatiOn, but tenderiy rub the abdomen
If the child Is delicate and emaciated,
rub its body with olive oil after each
bath.
Don't allow thechild to tear or to de-
stroy things for its amusement. have
seen mothers give their babies books
and other things to mutilate, infasing by
50 doing the instinct Of destruction
Home H.lgaIiae-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
On the Wrong Road.

An Episcopal rector vas recently riding
behind bnrly son Of Erin in an accom-
notation train. At drst things we're fair
" quiet, but soon the Irishman began to
lie: out a torrent foaths, for some reason
or other. The rector stO0i Il about as
long rs he could, and then c1ncludet ne
would take a hand il the wicked maa's
conversation He sRo0the1 his ersvat
ani then leaned over aud dlintily touch
ed the Irishman on the Jumper. The
wicked man looked srcani hastily.
SAhem my dea- sir" filtered the
rector, Is he gazed at the I-ishman's
wondering face. ~BIi yonn allow me-
hem-.o tell you thzt you're on the
straight road TO perdiiion.
The Irishman looked shocked for a
moment. Then he made sudden move
ment from his seat.
'Dom - be cried. ~Oi tank ye, soOr. Oh
fought oi Was goin' TO Lynn-"-B1sioa
BsdJd
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
The Value of Character.


The Captain Of large steamer was
once filling up his crew for a long voy-
age when a seaman came up and said
q want to sail with you, sir"
"Al right, my man, replied the Cap
tain. ~Where have you sailed before -
"P. and o., sir, 70 Australia"
@What eOuntryman ?"
An Oirishman." was the ready re-
sponse.
The discharge was obtained, and as
the Irishman was presenting it another
seaman came up and said he wanted to
join.
~what line were yOu on befores' ask
ed the captain.
"Canard, sir"
What eountrymzn ,"
English, your Honor"
"All right GO forward"
Shortly after, IS the two were washing
the decks in heavy sea, the Englishman
was swept overheard, bucket aud all.
Unmoved, Paddy finished his JOB and
thea went TO the captains cabin.
Come in responded the officer to his
rap. Whats up TOW 90
do you remember BIZ Smith, The Eng
lishman aud CunArder - queried Pat.
Certainly, my man.
You took him without a character >"
4 believe 50; what Of that -
"He's gone overheard wild your buck
At
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
The Widows Mite.

Mamma, thought mite was little
thing. What did the Lord mean when
lie said the widows mite was more than
all the money the rich men gAve?p
Mamma thought minute then said /;
~Lulu. 1 will tell yOu a story, and | think
you viii understand Why 4 widows mite
Was more valuable thsd ordinary mites.
There wSs girl whose name was Kit
ty, and she had ever 30 many dolls Some
were made of china, and others of wax,
with real hair, and eyes that would open
and shut, but Kitty was tired oftiem all,
except ihe newest one, which her auntie
had given her at Christmas. One day 4
poor little girl came to the door begging,
and Kitty's mother told her to 20 and
get one old doll and give it away. She
did so and her old doll was like what
the rieh men put in the treasury. She
could give it away just as well as not,
and it didn't cost anything.
The poor little beggar was delighted
with her doll She never had but one
before, and that was rag doll; but this
one had such lovely curly hair, and such
an elegant pink silk dress Oh, she was
almost afraid to hold it against her dirty
shawl for fear ofsOiling it; 50 she hurried
home as fast as she could. Just as she
was going up stairs TO her poor rooms,
she saw through the crsek OF the door in
the basement her little friend, sally, who
had been sick in bed all summer, and
who was alone ali day while her mother
went out washing TO try and earn money
enough to keep them from starving. AS
our little girl looked through the crack
she thought TO herself, Il must show
sally my new dolly So she rushed into
the room and up TO the bed, crying, o
sally, see sally tried to reach out her
arms 70 take it, but she was too sick, so
her little friend held up the dolly. and
as she did 50 she thought How sick Sll-
ly looks to-day and she hasn't any dol
~ Then, with one generous impulse,
she said, Here, sally you may have her.
NOW, Lulu, do you see? The little
girls dolly was ike the widow mite
she gave her all"-Goldcn W0nfs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
SOMERSET Pa WEDNESDAY. APRIL H. 1893. w

lines on him, too, when be had got the
whole thing as neat as could be. Went
10 the very house yesterday where Allen
was The man at the pub. saw him 20
into the house. Ha, hs, What does
my lord Allen dos Awfully sharp fel-
low. Lets himself down by rope out
Of the back window and goes of in
MarksOn's own csb-not bad, ha Ia
Markson rushes after him too late
Smollett Is furious that he was Just cut Of
it. He found out where Allen was hiding,
and came on the scene a day behind the
fair. Pity ne did not get the chance
He'd have nailed him. l think Markson
made an awful null Of it, and now the
fellow has got clean away. Who's the
best man now You can't say much for
your side now, Tom"
As 1 watched him striding or thank
ed God Smollett did not get the chance.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
New" Posr-offics Rules:

A funny p1s.n Ister recently sent 10
the Post Office Department 4 nov set %
Post Office rules They were:
A pair Of onions viii go Tor two cents
Ink bottles must Be corksd when sent
by mail.
Persons are compelled to lick their os n
postage tamps and envelopes: the post
master cannot be compelled to do this.
Persons are earnestly req1ested not to
send postal cards with money orders in
closed, ss large sums are lOst in that way.
Nitro-glycerine must be forwarded at
the risk Of the sender. fit should blow
up in the postmss.er's hand be cannot
be held responsible
When letters are received bearing no
direction the persons for whom they are
intended will please signify the fact to
the postmaster that they may At once be
forwarjei.
Asali pOstmasters are expert linguisIss
the address may be written in Cainsse or
ChOet4s.
Il IS unsafe to mail apple or fruit tree
with the fruit on them.
II Is earnestly requested that lovers
writing to their girls sill please eonfne
their gushing Fhspsodies % the inside Of
the envelope.
Ducks cannot be sent through The
mail when alive The laaeking would
disturb the slumbers Of Iae clerks on the
postal ears.
When watches are sent throagh the
mail, il the sender ri Pat a notice On
the outside. the postmasters eill wind
and keep in running order.
John Smith gets his mail from 674. .2s0
post Offices, hence a letter directed 70
John Smith, United States, will reach
him
When you send 4 money order in a
letter always write fall and explicit d.
sections in the same letter, 80 that any
person getting the letter can draw the
money.
AlligEtOrs over ten FEET in lengsh ara
not allowed 70 be transmitted BY mail.
The placing Of stamps upside down on
letters IS prohibited. Several postmassers
have recently been seriously injured
while irving 70 stand on their heads 10
cancel stamps placed in this manner.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
WHOLE NO. 2176
A PIacsfor Bridal Couples.

In Washington the other day report
er made pilgrimage up the Washing
ton monument, and while he waited for
the elevator, which Is no small task, ss il
makes only one trip in half hour, he
fell into conversation with the doornzn
in charge Of the structure.
~You see, said that worthy, I'VE have
to watch out sharp about the number Of
people in here. The elevator viii csrry
80, and the first thirty that come in sit
over here and wait. It's inst ike bar
Der shop, and if anybody goes outside to
see the shadder, like as not he'll get left-' :
ITO see the what2' asked the reporter
innOcently.
sThe shaddsr ThemOnument's shad-
der. Haven't you seen it,"
~No."
well, don't 90 out now or mebbe you
viii get left. There's2i in here already"
~Twenty-four," said the New York
man doubtfully. Il make it IS"
80 there are, but four don't count"
~Why27
Bridal couples"
Don't they 90 up?7
Certainly
swell, then. l don't see"-began the
reporter, but just theo the couples alleg-
ed TO be brides and bridegrOoms arose al
most simultaneously and sauntered to-
ward the stairs, up which they presently
disappeared.
"Sees :" inquired the doorman benevo-
lently-
"Do you mean you can tell the bridal
couples by their walking up instead Of
riding?"
lido. Them and little boys IS about
the only ones that walks"
Il don't quite understand" said the
reporter innocently, with dim visions Of
plOdding along brezthlessly up the end
less iron staircase.
Didn't suppose you would" said th e
doOrman scornfully. Reckon you don't
know them stairs is Just one mile long
and the finest place for huggin' in the
United States e"-Nslr York Tri5la.e.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
Tomorrow Never Came.

Two prominent men who were mana
gers OF Gould interests at this city some
years ago received telegrams one day
which read something ike this:
NEw TOEk, --
If Convenient and not interfering with
business, would Ike to see you Monday
morning. jar GOULD.
Il was equivalent TO an order to 20 to
New York, and there being nothing to
deiain them they went, reaching there
sunday night Next morning they re-
ported at Mr.. Goulds office. He greeted
them pleasantly, asked them when they
arrived and then said
Il am very busy nov. Come back ct
this hour to-morToE."
They complied Of c0urse, and Tuesday,
Wednesday. Thursday received the same
word. Friday Mr. Gould said he would
still be too busy to see them and did not
know when he eould get time. He was
glad they had come.
When are you going homer he ask
ed.
Tonight" they both replied prompt
ly, for they knew bis wsys-Oaela
Hori3-Hsrald
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
A PhiIos pher.

~COme, let's cross the street, said =
man to friend with whom he was walk
ing. Il don't want to meet that fellow
Spigett love him"
why are you 80 much afraid to-day
You met him vest, Idsy and shook hands
With him.
~Yes, but it was different then"
"Why So"
'Because bad on old clothes ysster-
day. but have on a nex to-day. my dear
fellow" sffsctioostely taking his friends
arm Nothing can rival a suit Of new
clothes in the N stter Of inviting duns.
II yOuoSe a man. he tdinks it Is your
duty to wear SEek cloth and ashes until
you pay him n--Tzras !Ssflasgs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
Golden Hints for the House.
Hold.

Eggs covered when frying viii cook
much more evenly.
If you heatyour knife, you can cut hot
bread As smoothly as cold.
A little aour dredged over the top Of a
cake will keep the icing from running.
The white Of an egg, with little sugar
and water, is good for child with an II
ritable stomach
Clear, black coffee, diluted with water
and containing a little ammonia, will
cleanse and restore black clothes
A large slice Of potato in the fat when
frying dOughnuts viii prevent the black
speeks from appearing on their surface.
By rubbing with flannel cloth dip
pek in whiting, the brown discoloration
may be taken of Of cups which have
been used for baking.
A little powdered borax in baby's bath
water prevents the little ones skin from
chatting. and he Is not 50 liable to =" break
out with &t"-.Sclssse9.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

Character is what We are when We
think We are not watched.
1t won't do any good for Christian
to talk louder than he lives
God speaks whenever and wherever
his truth Is made known.
A lie Is always an enemy, no matter
how well meaning it may look,
The man who rides hobby always
wants the whole road for himself.
4 boys idea Of having fan IS to be al-
lowed to make all the noise he can.
Nothing makes man 50 mad as to be
shown the face Of the devil in himse Z
It never hurts the cause Of the devil a
bit tor stingy man to talk in church
Ra8l's Horn.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
rHE PAUPER's PRAYER.


What. can il be thar the Old man.
Who has toiIed 80 long and vel.
That 10 place in the old farm house,
where he X peace can dwell,
lam sure toiled all ny days
These rch, broad fields 20 clear.
And noW In old and bent and ErAy.
There is no room for ne here
And must Ileave the dear old place.
That once I called my own.
And rnrn ny feeble tot:ering steps
To yunder pSupsus' home
All. iifrle thought I. John, my son.
When gave this house and ground.
The day would ever come when you
Would throw ne onthe town
lis true. am old and feeble row.
have no; got long 70 stay;
lis cruel that the poor Old man
+ 80 much in your Way.
Once was y0ung and strong A. you,
And tOiled with might aad strife
To save this Land and house, my so1.
To start you well in life.
lis vel that poor old mothers gone,
Il would break her heart, know,
To leave the home We called our own.
And 70 the pOorhoUse 20.
But up in heaven she waits for me,
In that land 30 pure and fair.
And In sure III not be In the way,
There vii be NON for ne there.
Well 7 win 60. good by, my son,
You have turned your hand on me.
But, while live, one PAuPer prayer
VII ever be for thee
And, when am dead, remember, John,
You drove me to NY doom
Let none who filed my path with ihOTns
Drop hOgess on ny tomb.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

WITH Ely's Cream Balm a child can
be treated without pain snd With perfect
safety. IL cures eatarrb, hay fever and
colds in the head Il is easily applied
into the nos;rils AMI gives immediate re-
lief Price . cents
MY c4tATrh EAs very bad For thirty
years have been troubled With it-have
tried a number Of medicines without re-
lief A druggist advised Ely's Cream
Balm ! have used only one bottle and
can say feel like new man make
this voluntary statement that Others may
know Of the BAim--J. ". Mathsxson.
lawyer, PAEt1ekst, RI
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

Senator Warren. Of Wyoming, owes
his first starr in life to hopeiess-looking
potato patch. He was the son Of Mas
szchusests farmer who didn't take stock
in educztion, and the boy was tied Up 10
hard farm work. With his mothers aid
he had recsivec some elementary schoo'-
ing, but anything beyond that seemed
hopeless, because every hour Of his time
was claimed. One spring there we're a
few seed potatoes left over after planting
and SIR. Warren told the lad he might
stick them in for himself in a very rocky
patch Of land, provided he gave in return
a certain number Of bushels for the use
Of the soil
It was a hard deal, but young Warren's
grit rose 10 the OCCASION The land was
too rocky 70 plow, if he had bad the
means 10 do 80, bat be broke il up some
how, and stuck SEED potatoes in where be
could. There was q great patch Of coarse
rooted grass that be couldn't get over,
bat there was stin some seed left and f.
naIly the boy poked il under the edges OF
the grAss wherever he could. He had no
hopes Of making anythingOf bis venture,
bat drought and every disease known 70
the potato world appeared that year, the
crop was eomplste failure, and Warren
was too disheArtened even to dig for his
spoiiA His father. however, insisted on
on il, bot there was nothing but nubbins
to reward them
Then Warren in despair hfed the edge
Of the troublesome grass with aerOwbar,
and there we're potatoes St for king in
spite Of the fact that they were Of an in
ferior variety. They were big and fine,
and lots Of them. The result was that
the boy managed to rescue enough mon
ey to start him at Wilbraham Academy,
and from that time on he bent things to
his own advantage, no matter what the
difficulties
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

For a number Of years I have been
subjecs 10 violent attacks Of inaamma-
tory rheumatism which generally lasted
about two months. On the first Of this
month l vas attacked in the knee and
suffered severely for two days, when
procured bottle Of fChznberlAin's Pain
Balm and it relieved me almost instant
ly. 1 therefore most cheerfully recon-
mend il 70 those who are similarly af-
tiieted eiseEhere.-R. D. Whitley, Mar
tindAle, y. C., Feb, lSSs. Nr. Whitley
is very prominent man in this place
and his disease xas very widely known
as he Suffered such severe pain.-w. u.
Houston & Co, Merchants, Martindale,
y. G. 80 cent bottles for sale.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

@Yonr teacher says you are the worst
boy in the school, said widow, whose
husband had been eremated. TO her son
YES, ma, know am bad boy"
III your father knew how you are mis-
behaving yourself he would kick the dust
up in his urn"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

The man with plenty fAt mortgages
lives on the lien Of the land.
Mamma said little Nell, @is it the
artificial rain thai makes the artificial
flowers grow?7
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

F~ther-welI. TOmmy, how do you
think you viii ike this little fellow sor a
brother? Tommy inspecting the new
infant somewhat dOubtf1ly Have xs
got 70 keep him, papa, or IS be only =
SanPleF
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

When grown boy voluntarily kisses
bis mother, it issafe to say there Is show
ecning to town
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12

'Oa, mamma why does the preacher
always say lastly in the middle Of his
sermon. ?"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-12
After Mt. Clemens Failed.

a.--. P1TIssUHeH. JcSE ls. 1ss1
$50 lF---1gr Ca
----e-,zl--E had he rhsumztizn for
- irlel al slrls of remec-eS- Also
--1--elr coff lrs and did not get any
.- l-lll71 fuia Rheumatic dropsT. was
e NJ Clemens. but found - IDuch
- si-ri=s q HEEhn1z that ! stayed Al
.----- - .17ee n 1lf1s an able y Erssld q
- $50. l1ilE x o. The only remedy OF
-.- - ~ cure kheumztic { DropSy OF AheC-
q ~. -ei-ns sele unf1-tulate vii Sc this
q 4s cEferie1ce 4 give tLis te>-iDo-
l-.--- i1--l7e sZi of ny GEu free vii ]
s. - -.-.-1a --e1-cine N the house and give
.-.-- ------l- - Z j. the best btoc1 purifier
alFulz calling ~ ny pisce u
- 4i-l ailh pleasure stase all about ny
Kery respectfully.
Es-s- Z =. HODGE.
t-ll ave. Pit,st,urs. Pa.
:. issist does not keep Z, upca receipt
-'-el ~ = CO Ee xiIl send cne bottle.
BAHIA NtDiCISE CO.
- Liberly slreet.
fittzourgh, Pa
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-05-11
UNDERTAKING.
r oU1s BERrsoHY,

r oU1s BERTsCHY,
Formerly OF Frcw lIortschY,
FUNERAL DIRECTOR
And Arterlnl Embalmer,
iiiD Main Street last Slhc.
Calls by telephone answered day or night
Store telephone 6jl! residence JJ5 apl7
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-05-11
PAID AND DISCHARGED.
The Strike of the Mozart Park Workmon
Takes an Unexpected Turn.

The Strike of the Mozart Park Workmon
Takes an Unexpected Turn.
The strike OF the men employed in
tho work of excavating at the site Of the
Mozart Park Associations incline plane
railway, at the foot OF Forty-third
street, came to an abrupt and rather
unexpected end yesterday at noon. 1t
will be remembered that tho men went
out on q strike several days ago, which,
however, lasted only q few hours, as one
OF the directors OF the park association
saw the men, assured them that they
would BIO paid, and they returned to
work. On Tuesday the men again
went out, seeing no prospect OF get
ting their money. Though they did not
work any yesterday, most OF them
were at the scene OF their wor k during
tho forenoon. About noon the pay
master of the Pittsburgh firm that has
tho excavation aud masonry contract
arrived, and paid all tho mon of in
full, and informed thom that their spr-
vices would be no longer needed, The
firms representative claimed that he
was kept away by reason OF sickness,
consequently the failure to pay on
time. 1t is understood that the men
were discharged because they struck,
without letting their employers know
OF their action. Tho firm expects to
put another force OF fifty men oil the
work Immediately.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-05-11
ALI * FER D wv,
lll7 Main Street,
@UN DE RTEkE r. X

Am prepared 10 conduct buritl' In most StD
isiaot6ry manner NIL modern undertaking 40.
plnnccs aud iiuo black and while funeral uafdL
Coinpotent innnagGmelit guaranteed.
tOnns, Gask0B nnd lnlt line Ot Dntlal giD1I
lalm to be prompt cOnsleratc mud rcllaDl1
Calls by telephones
Reddcncc ALEX. FhGW--Nl 9lL
btOte-NO ~