davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
1t Was Dead Economy.

An excursion from Birmingham tc
Montgomery was run the other day,
says the Birmingham (Ala) Age
Herald. A negro man appeared at
the ticket Office in the depot and
purchased a ticket for himself. Then
he said to the ticket agent:
Boss, l want mother round trip
'scursiOn ticket for a corpse"
The agent opened his eyes in as
constituent. An excursion ticket for
a corpse was something new to him,
even with his varied experience.
The negro explained; "You see,
boss, my brudder died yesterday and
l want ter take de corpse down to
Montgomery and let de family view
de mains, and den bring em back to
Birmingham and bury 'em. Dis will
be heap cheaper den fur de family
to cum up here.
The agent saw at once that this
was great stroke of economy and
enterprise on the part of the negro
There were probably dozen mem
bers Of the family, and tickets for
them TO birmingham and board while
there would be quite expensive The
corpse could get the benefit of excur.
sion rates to Montgomery and would
pay no board while there. Thus the
negro subserved the ends of economy
and preserved the respect for the grief
of the family at the same time.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

in 1882 to accept a nomination, and,
after a memorable campaign, reduced
the ordinary Republican majority OF
1000 to ten votes. In 1888 he was
again nominated for Congress in the
same district against his positive re-
fusal and made over fifty speeches fol
the Presidential ticket. In this con
test he again cut down the usual ma
jority Since his retirement from
Congress in 1877 he has been contn,
uously engaged in the legal practice
but has always taken lively interest
in political affairs and in advancing
the success of the Democratic party.
He has represented his State in
every National Democratic conven,
tion since 1880. In the st. Louis
convention of 1898, which renomi.
mated Mr.. Cleveland, when Senator
German and Henry Watterson in the
Committee on Resolutions wrangled
a whole day as to the tariff declara
tion Of the platform, Lawrence T.
Neal, the Ohio member Of the COM
mittee, brought the contending ele
ments together and framed the plank
as it was accepted by the committee
and ratified by the convention. He
was member Of the Platform Com
mittee of the Chicago convention and
proposed the amendment which was
finally adopted as the tariff policy Of
the party upon which to make the
campaign.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
Roscoe ConkIing's Generosity.

Colonel Robert j. Ingersoll sat In
the Surrogate's Office the other day.
hopping his high forehead he said:
Il never enter this room without
having my thoughts recur to Roscoe
Conklng and his tactful manners
1t was during the time the Hoyt viii
was being contested. l had occasion
to pay frequent visits to this place.
and was somewhat annoyed by pool
fellow who used to stanu out in the
corridor and lay for me each morning
to ask for a small loan. He was one
Of that vast class who exist in the
Pickering light of former afiluence
On one particular day 1 was not in
the happiest Of moods, so when my
impecunious customer bored me fol
another loan said to him:
"'What! here, again. What did
you do with that two dollars / gave
you yesterday? Gone already?'
"The fellow mumbled some apollo
getic reply, to which said:
&c I'm getting tired OF your making
a steady target Of me- Why don't
you give some other man a chaDCe?'
"Conkling came along and seemed
to take in the situation at a glance,
for he said, with his most engaging
smile-it was soft and sweet as a
gentlewomans:
alt my chance to-day Colonel,
and diving down into his waistcoat
pocket he 6shed out crisp bill AS
my bewildered pensioner took it and
shufied off Conkling said gayly:
"' Now remember, Colonel, it's
your chance tomorrow
ADO you know, he made me feel
downright small. Conkling was a
great and good man." added the elo-
quent lawyer musingly.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
THREE MILLION BACHELORS.
That's What the Census Shows and IT.
Time Some Repented.

According to the last census re.
ports, there are over 5000, 900 bach
elors in the United States-by which
is meant there are 1900, 900 men over
thirty years old who have never been
married, says the Boston Globe.
This fact, Of course, furnishes a
very handy text for all sorts Of COM
ment and suggestion. Now and then
the scheme is advocated Of making
neglect of matrimony statutory Of
Tense, either by way of tax discrimi-
nation in favor Of married parties OF
otherwise.
In earlier times marriage was COM
pulsory. The great world conQuerors
wanted material for their armies, and
so heavy penalties were laid on a neg
leCt to marry.
One interesting question which the
census figures do not answer is this:
"How many of these 10000 900 bach
elors are single from choice rather
than necessity"
The factors affecting the ability to
support wife have been very much
changed under the newer industrial
AID commercial condition. So great
has become the competition for places
among the higher pursuits, and SO
largely have women come to I'll po-
sitions once exclusively occupied by
men, that the bureaus of industrial
statistics show show a larger and
larger percentage of men in these
pursuits whose incomes, from their
point Of view, will not permit them
to marry.
1t is easy to scold the young men
in this matter-quite as easy as to
find fault with the young women who
are looking out for husbands with
plenty of ready money. But there is
nothing in the published census fig
ures regarding the average earnings
of certain classes of workers which at
all warrants the conclusion that the
majority Of these 100000 unmar-
ried men remain single through will
fulness rather than what they deem
necessity.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
THE SPIDER AND THE FLY.
How Yellow jacket Prevented Wall
Into the ParlOr.

Into the ParlOr.
The act of taking a fellows part,
or helping to defend him against an
enemy, is not confined to man.
Nearly all Of the lower animals have
this particular instinct, says a writer
in the Philadelphia Times, but IL is,
l believe, an exceedingly rare occur
renee to find creature of one order
pitching in" as the boys would say,
and exerting his efforts in behalf of a
creature Of another order. 1t fell to
my lot not long ago to witness an act
Of this kind, Outside grocery store
there stood sugar barrel, emptied
of its contents. There was one
particular fly near the bottom of the
outside Of the barrel, and right be-
side him stood good sized yellow
jacket. All Of a sudden a great,
gray spider hurried out OF his web
and sped straight for the fly In
another moment the fly was in his
grasp and a struggle began. The fly
tried so hard to get away that he
must have attracted the attention Of
the yellow jacket, for that worthy
turned around and looked right at
the contestants, Then as quick as a
flash he flew into the fray himself,
and the spider found that he had two
enemies to deal with. The yellow
jacket seemed very careful not. to
hurt the fly, but it was caution"
the way he put 1t to the spider. At
last the spider released his hold on
the fly and directed all his efforts to
Subduing the yellow jacket. Then
the battle began in earnest, Time
and again the spider sunk his fangs
into the yellow jacket, and time and
again was he pierced through with
his enemy's terrible sword, the fly
all this time buzzing over the heads
of the two combatants Finally the
spider, unable to withstand the
thrusts any longer, gave up the ghost
and died. The yellow jacket stung
him once more and then waddled Off
with a torn wing and wounded leg,
the fly following him,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

THE advance agent is not neces-
sarily forward man. - Yonkers
Statesman.
THAT Is Mrs. Specie, there She
is society leader; right In the swim"
$50? BY Jovel she dresses for it, -
Puck.
The f1n-de-siecle girl and the line
bicycle girl have more or less pro-
nounced relationship Philadelphia
Times.
The Chinese language has only 450
words. The rest of it is expressed
with flrecrackers. Cleveland Plain
Dealer
"BRIDaET, did you hear me call?"
ayes, mum; but you told me the
other day never to answer you back. I"
Tld-Bits.
"HERE's der laundry, und fader
wants to know Of you can't wash yust
der bosoms Of der shirts for half
price. Life.
pOUIh SAhOlslNh hdo uOllOW Wdlk-
ing-sticks In this case taking some
thing with stick in it" is reversed.
-Yonkers Statesman.
THERE is no dlsputing the fact
that man has to have considerable
"go" to gain much prominence as a
traveller. Buffalo Courier
LUMMIx-"I hear you have new
baby at your house" Skimgullet--
"Yes, l hear it myself about every
minute when Pm at home"
BELLE-"Would you call Blanche
beauty" Jack-"Not unless l
thought she was likely to overheaI
me. Kate Fields Washington.
ave got an awful cold" said the
weather. "What are you taking for
it?" asked the wind. "A drop OF
mercury every hour. Exchange.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
LII Hung Chang.

Ii Hung Chang, viceroy of China,
says writer in Frank Leslie's Week
ly, does not live in Picking, but has
his palace in Tien-Tsin (ninety miles
from the capitaD, where he is sur
sounded by his armies, and has his
fleet near at hand.
1t Is we'll known that the members
of the Sunni Yamen, Grand Coun-
Gil Of the Empire), who sat in Pc
king, have the most profound hatred
for the viceroy and have tried sever
al times to get rid Of him by means
which would recall those used in the
Middle Ages. But Ii Hung Chang
is too well guarded in Tien-Tsin.
Every attempt has been failure, and
after several of them the heathens in
office came to the conclusion that
the only thing to be done was to get
the viceroy to come to Picking.
They demonstrated to the Emperor
and his mother that Ii Hung Changes
ambition might lead him to over
throw the actual dynasty and make
himself a monarch, and that it was
quite necessary to have him live in
Picking, where the Sunni Yamen
would watch him.
The Emperor saw the imaginary
danger and ordered the vicerOy to
make his headquarters in Picking.
He did not even answer.
Two orders were sent, the last be.
ing so imperative that he answered
at once:
81 am coming. Arrange quarters
for the fifteen thousand soldiers
take with me-.
One can easily imagine the alarm
of the Emperor and the members of
the Sunni Yamen when they heard
of those fifteen thousand soldiers
and they answered promptly:
"Stay where you are by all means,
and keep your soldiers away"
Ii Hung Chang may be considered
the most liberal and most progress.
sive man in the Chinese Empire.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
HANDY to Have i'm the House.

"Every well-regulated family" said
Mrs. Billtops, ought to have saw.
We've had a hammer as long as
N.n remember, and why we haven't
had a saw l don't know. They are
so handy to have in the house; to saw
off curtain poles with; to saw off the
legs of chairs if you want to shorten
them; to make things out of boxes,
window seats and things ike that;
to saw old boxes into kindling wood,
if one is economical, and for lots of
other things. 1 must get Mr.. Bill
tops to buy saw tomorrow. New
York Sun.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
August,
Flower

1 have been troubled with dyspep.
STA, but after fair trial of August
Flower, am freed from the vexatious
trouble-J. 3. Young, Daughters
College, Harrodsburg, KY. had
headache one year steady. One bottle
of August Flower cured me. 1t was
positively worth one hundred dollars
to me-. w. Smith, Pm. and Gen.
Merchant, Townsend, Ont. have
used it myself for constipation and
dyspepsia and it cured me, 1t is the
best seller I ever handled-C. Rugh,
Druggist, Mechanicsburg, Pa. o
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
ARE TOYS roo eoop2
A Suggestion That the Toys OF Our Child.
hood Were Better,

hoOu were betJeri
Men are, after all, only overgrown
children, Give your little boy money,
and the sweetshop and the toyshop
will, too probably, eclipse the mute
appeal Of the missionary box.
And, when the boy grows up, phys
ically, If his income also grows, he
will spend at sweetshop and toyshop.
Instead Of acid drops he will purchase
rare wines and order elaborate din
ners; the race game and the clock
work boat will expand the real thor.
oughbreds and steam yacht.
DO we really outgrow the taste for
sweets and toys? Some of US never
have it; some lose it by over-indulg-
ence during youth.
But to the temperate person, whose
pocket money has always been limit
ed, are toys and sweets ever wholly
without attractions? He is ashamed
to be seen openly purchasing sugared
almonds and chocolate creams, and
looking in vain longing at lead sol.
dlers and clockwork trains; but the
old delight is not dead.
Even a humble box Of bricks, that
best Of toys, unrolls before his mental
vision prospect Of houses, fortresseS,
harbors, railway stations, geological
gardens, and all the ingenious con-
structons Of the young architect,
half blocks and half "make-believe,
When / look into the toy-shop win
dows, as | usually do, it seems to me
that children are losing the poetic
imagination that transformed dingy
play room into a fairyland.
Toys are becoming daily more elab-
crate, more realistic; less room IS left
for fiction and romance, Lead SOL
diers are no longer fat slmulacra of
humanity, but big, broad, solid and
expansive. Cavalrymen sit plumply
astride bullying horses; artillery
trains, pontoon trains, complete in
every detail replace the improvised
substitutes in which / once reveled.
Yet, can the model sl-ton gun give
as much satisfaction to the boyish
possessor as the fortress artillery l
used to contrive out of an old brass
cannon, three bricks and the tender
Of tin train?-The Sketch.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
the value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
Its excellence is due to its presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of a perfect lax.
alive; effectually cleansing the system,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevera
and permanently curing constipation.
1t has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession, because it acts on the Kid
neys, Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in SOC and 81 bottles, but it is man
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
:, 90. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
accept any substitute if offered.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
A Dream That Was Realized.

Charles Smith of Sparta, Ca, lately
had a singular dream. During a re-
cent fire a clock was stolen from a
burning house. The following night
he dreamed that he was standing
near a negro engaged in cutting
wood, and that, looking through the
open window of the negro's house, he
saw the clock standing on the mantel-
piece. In the morning he went to
the house to investigate the matter.
Finding the front door locked he
went around to the rear, looked
through the window, saw the clock,
and recovered it, just as he had
dreamed.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
Caught in the Tolls

OF that lurking foe, chills and fever, we often
struggle vainly to free ourselves from It's
clutch. Palliatives there are without num-
Der, but If you want real remedy, as of
course you do, If afflicted with this abomin.
able malady, hasten to procure and persist
emily use Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. If you
follow this suggestion permanent restoration
to health will reward you. Every form OF
malarial disease is permanently eradicated
by the Bitters, which is likewise reliable
safeguard against maladies of this type. Not
alone on this continent, but throughout the
tropics, it is justly regarded as a complete
nntidote to miasna poison in air OF water.
No less effective is it for disorders of the
stomach, liver and bowels, rheumatism, kid
ney complaints and nervousness. No one 80.
journing in a malarious region, or who IL
subjected to outdoor exposure in rough
weather, or 10 excessive mental or physical
strain should be without this fine defensive
tonic.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
Eddie's Curiosity.

When the spectacular production
of Nero, or the burning Of Rome,
appeared in this city few weeks
ago, certain small Eddie's grand
mother took him to see it in fulfill
ment Of a lOng-standing promise.
While on the way thither that re-
spectacle lady's dignity was hopeless
ly upset by the innocent inquiry,
Grandma, is that Nero, we're going
to see any relation to Nero, My God,
to Thee?" Washington News.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
LAWRENCE T. NEAL.
Tho Democratic Nominee FOR Governor of
Ohio.

Ohio.
Lawrence 7. Neal, whom the Dem
ocrats Of Ohio have nominated for
Governor, was born in Parkersburg,
Va, on September 2, 1874, In 1864
he removed to Chilllcothe, Ohio,
where he studied law, and in 1866 he
was admitted to the bar there. He
held several minor offices and was a
member Of the Forty-thlrd and
Forty-fourth Congresses, since which
time he has been a prominent figure
in national politics. After serving
two terms he returned from Wash
ington in 1877 to resume his practice
Of the law The political complex
ion Of his former Congressional dis
trict having been changed he was
with difficulty induced by his party
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
oARNEoIE's HUMBLE ORIGIN

Began Life as an Attendant TO Station
AIRY Engine.
1t is often asked in the journals on
both sides of the Atlantic whether
Andrew Carnegle's family is not con-
nected with the Scotch nobility. Not
at all. His father was weaver in
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

Dunfermline, who took his family to
the United States in 1S45, when
Andrew was 10 years old. The lad
began life as an attendant to a
stationary engine; later he took ur
telegraphy, and was employed by the
Pennsylvania Road as telegrapher and
clerk to the superintendent Of tele.
graph lines.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

+. ]. CHENEY q CO., Toledo, o., ProprS-
of Halls Catarrh Cure, offer 500 reward for
any case of catnmh that cannot be cured by
taking Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for testi-
monials, free. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

"John," she said, reproachfulIy, ms h
came home at 2 q. m, "you have been out
again" mo, my dear, pom honor. This
lime was in $11.N
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

jackson: met man on the street yes~
terday, who reminded me of you. Jenkinsi
Is that so. How? Jackson: He, too, has
owed me $40 for more than q month.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

A LITTLE knowledge is sometimes
a dangerous thing to the party about
whom it is known Kate Fields
Washington.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

"The value of such poem as this cannot
be expressed in mere dollars, exclaimed Mr..
Rondo. mo, it cannot" agreed the editor;
tive will pay you rs cents for it,"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

When Visiting Kansas City Stop "a
the Blossom HOUSE opposite linton Depot.
First Class in every respect, Rates, $3.50 day.
Gable cars to all parts of the city pass the
door.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

Jack (who has popped)' 1t takes you a
long time to decide. Sallie: know it, and
I've about concluded to wear demi-train Of
white chiffon over white silk and have no
bridpsuoids
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

Chicago man Showing him round(; This
is the Columbus statue. Here is where all
these riots originate. Stranger CLOSELY in
Bpecting the statue) don't wonder.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

"The whole world loves lover" said he.
eyes so have heard" said she. p" "But then,
you know, am not the whole world" "You
are to me, ",said he. And then she gave in"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

Chow are your Just thought I'd drop in
n while TO kill time" "Well we don't want
any of our time killed"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

"How old DO you think am, Mr.. ParkerY'
asked Miss Blinks. ~ don't dare guess"
said Parker. but whatever il is you don't
look it,"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

GAN butt" said the marksman when tho
gun kicked him over, and he just missed the
bulls eye.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

ooh, dear" whimpered little Billieboy,
looking out at the storm, "this is very
wenthery winter"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

ONE dose of Beecham's Pills relieves sicA
headache in 20 minutes. For sale by all
druggists. % cents a box.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

"She: Don't you think woman can do n
great deal toward elevating the stageP He;
Yes. She can lower her hat.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

The man who smacks his lips while
eating can hardly be called man Of
quiet tastes. Yonkers Statesman.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

Her Dearest Friend: She asked me what
is good for preserving the complexion. Her
Next Dearest. Is ii possible that she wants to
preserve hers?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

III the Baby H. Cutting Teeth,
BE sure and use that old and wcltried remedy, MIA
WINDOWS soo-nINo sYRuP for Children Teething.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

TIegeman'a CamphOr Ice witch Giycerinc.
The original and only genuine. CuresChapped hana ~.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

Algy; And does Wales know how popL;
lar he is in American George No. They
keep it from him.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

The coming man sometimes turns out to
be going the other way.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

There are always some rare bargains a.
the meat market.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

'IIanson's Magic Corn Salve."
Warranted TO cure, or money refunded, ASK your
druggist forit Price % centA.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

She (yOwning): / do Ike young man
with some get w and 60 about him. He gets
up and goes.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21
1 Cure Dyspepsia and Constipation,

DR.. Shops Restorative Nerve Pills sent fret
with Medical Book TO prove merit, for 20 stamp
Druggists, 2hc DIR. SHooP. Box w Racine WiS
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

He who waits for dead mans
shoes will go barefoot all his life.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

I &C.. ss:: S =.s ThOmpsOn's Eye Water.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

EVERYTHING white isn't flour.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-09-21

u . U 9 4 e + Q NJ x l.