Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-12-29
GOING TO THE FAIR.
How a Cynic Proposes to Enjoy HiIns
Through the Papers.

How a Cynic Proposes to Enjoy Himself
Through the Papers.
IF you see any good articles on the
Worlds fair" said the cynic, 'or hear of
any good exhibits around here which are
going to be sent there, just let me know
about them, please"
much interested in the fair?" asked the
other.
Every much" he answered dryly.
"Going to study it all up before you go,
so that you can see and examine things in
telligentlyS"
EXACTLY"
Aren't you afraid it will detract from
your pleasure9"
''Not in the slightest
Don't you think that half the pleasure
of such things consists in the anticipation
and the other half in the surprise, the nov
city of the thing?"
Not Bit"
$50 you are grinding up on it already, as
we used to say in college when we were get
ting ready for examination"
"Yes, sir, that's what I'm doing. If there
is anything about the buildings there that
Idon't know, I'd like 70 hearabout it. lean
tell you the square feet in every one Of
them. have studied all the maps and dia-
grams Of the grounds and can redraw all
the buildings for you. know where every
statue Is going to be and who made it and
what it is supposed to represent. 1 can de-
scribe all the facades, all the friezes, the
entablatures, the columns and all the other
architectural features.
II am an expert regarding the marbles
and the bronzework. can give you all
the measurements Of the silver statue.
know what and who are going to be in the
German, the Swiss, the Russian and the
Swedish villages. have taken account of
every case of exhibits that has come from
Spain. have carefully prepared list of
the exhibit from the Vatican. lam familiar
with the collections Of armor which have
come from foreign nations for the fair.
know all about the jewels which are going
where the peanut stands and refreshment
counters will be on the grounds"
WELL" said the other, 'you are an en-
thusiast. suppose that man who is so in
terested as you in the fair will put in about
all summer at the big show. You certainly
have made n good start"
II fatter myself that am doing pretty
well, said the Worlds fair expert.
"And you are still hungry for more
knowledgeS"
want every bit can get"
when do you expect to go to the fairS"
"My dear friend, were you everin Chicago
in the summer"
Eyes, I've been there"
"Were you ever in a hotter place."
ut is pretty warm sometimes. Oh, see
you aren't going till fall, so you want to
be able to go through the whole business
| in short order-say in couple of weeks in
October, when it's cool and pleasant"
pheasant, chr Don't you know that
| everybody will 60 in the fall to miss the
| hot weather. Were you ever in Chicago
crowds Do you think want to be torn
to pieces? Do you think want to stay at
a hotel where they will sleep 60 in room?
DO you think want to stand around a
| dining room for three hours waiting for a
| chance to get seat at tableS Do you
| think an going to get up at 5 o'clock in
| the morning to get room on street car
when went to go anywhere? Do you
think want to engage cabs six months In
advance at S125 day? Go in the falls
guess not"
"Of course. I see. Going in the spring."
Going in the spring." howled the New
York man. ''Going in the spring when
Chicago is breeding place for malaria and
| typhus fever, when a mans life is in dan
ger every time he fills his lungs with Chi
cago air, when life wouldn't be worth liv-
ing under any circumstances? Not exactly
this spring"
| well, when are you going thenP
when am l going? Do you know how
Pm going to the Worlds fair9 About the
lst Of July Pm going to start for the fair;
only Pm going to quiet place on the sea.
shore. Pm going to swim, fish, sail and
take life easy. Pm going to read the pa
pers once in awhile, just to see how people
out there in Chicago are suffering l am
going to gain Is pounds About Sept. l I'm
coming home fat and contented to gloat over
the miserable wrecks that have got back
from Chicago l am going to tell them
how enjoyed the fair. I'll know all about
it--more than they will know. I'll declare
the fair was a perfect success. Nobody
will ever know that was not there I'll
be in good health and about 81 900 in peck.
ct. That's the way Pm going to the fair;
And rs for patriotism-well that's the
kind Of a patriot | am. New York Trib
me