The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-03-06
some hae meat that Gamma eat,
And some haze name that want 1t:
But haze meat aud can eat.
Aud say the Lord ba thsnkit-

grace:
some hae meat that Gamma eat
And some haze name that want It:
But haze meat and can eat.
And say the Lord be thankit
Mr. Phelps is a grandfather. but he 10 still
buying experience. This piece of il taught him
that it is not wise to trust to the vagares of a
tramps appetite, for, not knowing when he
viii get another meal, he is apt TO make the
best of the opportunity to get square one with
out even emitting the eiiminary cocktail and
the cigar. which Is as grace after meat 1t also
taught him that a Sco;chman's stomach can ap-
preciate other things than oatmeal.
jerome Catlin, whose heart 10 known to be a.
big as potash kettle, Ia said 70 have had a sim.
liar experience and many Others could tell OF
their gullibiiity in this direction If they would
MI Hall is an expert at his business. ana any
man who desires to start a. a tramp and to make
hne art OF whecdling other men out OF their
substance that he may waste ii I'm riotous living
cannot DO better than become q student at the
old mans maiodorous feet
Mr.. Angel Nelson of this CITY. has recentlv
Drought out pamphlet explanatory OF his sys.
lem OF phonetic spelling and pronunciation
III the preface the author states that his object
Is 10 make the book se.f-exp!auatory but in this
nc mas Jailed One is left in doubt whether the
author intends TO introduce . new language or
merely TO caFicature our mother tongue. "spel.
DOCK. and the system is based on ten vowel
sounds Double consonants are omitted a. I'm.
necessary. aud silent letters are not tolerated
1hcn 'o"ei mas Its value expressed by tho
muse inarAs Following the preface are two
pages com posed OF vowel comb nations in Al
ia"st every conceivable arrangement To
casca. reader the system appears to be an at
tempt 10 improve upon the English lanpuare
bus The result Is an uncouth, hybrid dialect,
compared with which even Chinook ia A relief
such words as MISUNDERSTANDING, eiahoyterase-
aao' fhewugueong bought, whatever they NAV
mean are examples OF ten sound spelling. OF
The authorsruthless suppression of words on the
score OF confusion. the following will serve al
examples: Ant says Mr.. Nelson, should be
pronounced and spelled ''antner," 70 distin-
guish 1t from aunt" although the necessity OF
this distinction is not appareut II ono pro-
aocnces Engnsa correctly. For the same rea-
son ihe wosi 'ear Is discarded, and ..ays,"
whatever taa' may mean. is 81 ostitused, to dis
Cnspish 1t from an of cora. which, Mr. Mel.
son says, should be ''ir." Accord ng 10 Nj Mel.
COZ siEl. should 10 longer braid their hair but
shoU,d "hEoeid" ii; ass that formerly brayed
IL T. field, row "iais there. Mea. has become
citing; The offspring OF a COW is .Aalv." but
tue lower part of a leg iss "tikioeg." Hundreds
OF such examples might be cited, in which
ridiculous changes are suggested Tor no apoar.
ef' advantage either IN 6reyity or in clearuess.
Nj Nelson's book is useful an example OF the
~o'ihie.sness and impractieabiilsy OF many
schemes Tor reforming The kngllSh language
ii !nsa Is aasole 10 express himself In "a in.
seiIis.o4e manner n the language that ex-
pressed tie thoughts OF Shakespeare, Milton and
Addison, re usy rest assured that j, u re ana
not the kagltsa language that is at fault
1'aHeas advice u those about to starry In april
cable 10 iAose ~ no are thinking Of adopting tie
~xsa SQUAD syssan"