Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-03-02
How They VIII Dress I'm 1903.

regard the present date as the climax of
fashion in dress. While it has taken several
hundred years to work up to it, the decline
will be far more rapid. Man has simply
been goaded to a point of desperation, and "A
change is bound to occur. have already
given an order on the downward slide and
in couple of weeks shall appear as
pioneer in the new movement We shall
not only restore the dress of our great
grandfathers before we stop, but run the
costumes Of Adam and Eve a pretty close
shave.
Man wears too much cloth, and that
cloth is cut up into too many shapes. The
100000 men of the United States are
wearing an average Of twenty buttons each,
making 400000,G00 buttons for all, esti
mated to weigh 23OOo,OoO pounds Five
buttons can be made to answer every pur.
pose, even at this day. Fifty years hence
the number will be reduced to two or three
pieces of fishline, or tarred rope may be
made to answer every purpose. My great
grandfather used horse nails in place of
| buttons, and | don't begin to be as rich,
| handsome and healthy AS he was.
Collars cuffs, neckties, starched shirts,
sleeve buttons and underwear are of mod
ern origin. The idea of the inventors was
to keep down the population by making
man kill his fellow man, and it has been
success. Darius, the great and wise king
of Persia, never had Il shirt in his seventy
two years of life, and don't propose to set
myself up as being heap better man than
old Darius. There is no record that George
| Washington ever even saw Il suit of fan-
nels, and yet he managed to wallop the
British and hold down the White House to
the general satisfaction of the country.
/ 1,Nft tIn, fnNh 1nt,I Inl
this country with socks on his feet or col,
lars and tails on his coat. Any artist who
puts coattails on pilgrim father ought to
be sent to Jail for his ignorance. Those
things were not only accounted as superAu
Gus, but positively unhealthy. The coats
were tailless and coliarless, and one wooden
button was considered all that was neces
sary. Are we any healthier than the pill
grim fathers? Can we run faster, jump
higher or stow away more corned beef and
cabbage at a dinnerP
Hannibal never had sock on his foot.
He never saw vest. Had a man come
tooling around him with a starched shirt
there would have been sudden death.
Had he been told that the day would come
when civilized being would have to buy
at least three tw9 shilling neckties per year
to be in the swim he would have called
tnat man Il liar and n horse thief Am | a
better man than Hannibalp Can have
the cheek to characterize him as a slop
shop dresserP
Woman will keep right on until every
one of her suits costs million dollars apiece,
but man Is bound to return to the simplici
ty of Biblical days. Sandals, a toga and a
cheap straw hat will replace the costumes
now worn. Sandals will strike us as rath-
er cool for January, and togas and straw
hats will bother us some at first with a
blizzard whooping around, but in time the
change will give general satisfaction, and
we will look back in contempt and disgust
upon the costumes of today. My straw hat
and sandals are finished, and my toga is to
be sent home next week. How they will
take it along Broadway is more than can
tell, but some one must pioneer the way,
and shall fall-to be remembered and
blessed. NJ. QUAD.