davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1893-11-24
HUMOROUS.

"1AN AAOAAOp wa
cylinders has some excuse for putting
on airs.
She = Fathers salary has been
raised. He-"G Grand! Now we can
get married."
Yachting costumes for women are
far more stylish than nautical. They
yacht not to be.
A little knowledge is sometimes q
dangerous thing to the party about
whom it is known.
"All flesh is grass" remarked the
hungry vegetarian as he fell to and de-
voured beefsteak.
Man seldom blames himself for his
folly. He modestly leaves that piece
of wisdom to his friends.
The reduction in the output OF
watches seems to indicate that there
has been too much working over time.
''My darling" protested De Graf,
''my life is an open book" Z" Yes"
sighed his wife. ''but much of the
print is very bad"
She" What makes Charley Bicycles
wear that string to his new straw hat?"
He-''To keep it from blowing away
when he talks through it."
Marmaduke-"May I go out to play
now?" Mamma hat, with those
holes in your boots?" Marmaduke--
"No, with the bulldog next door,"
"Please tell me where can find 8
large medical library in this city?"
"Under ground, sir. There you will
find the greatest works of physicians.
When times are hard she heeds them not,
Excepting to assume
That none should quarrel withhis lot
When bargain counters boom.
Figg-"You think, I suppose, be,
cause story is old it must be
good" Fogg-"On the contrary, j
think because it is good it must be
old"
Beggar - "Kind gentleman, pray
give me triAe, so that can buy a
morsel of bread" Cent? ere's
twopence for your bit of bread. Drink
my health with it.
He was an applicant for q position
as street car conductor. "What are
your qualifications for the placer" ask
ed the superintendent. ''I used to
work in a sardine packing establish
ment.
"Here I've been hard at work six
teen hours out of the twenty-four dur.
ing the last fortnight on my new trea-
tise, in which am trying to demon.
strate the necessity of an eight hours
labor day."
Tailor-"But this is the third time
you promised to let me have the
amount of my bill" Dolkins-'W Well,
what of that? Didn't you promise me
the clothes dozen times before you
had them done?"
Gents" shouted small boy, as he
poked his head into a street car, ''did
you mail that letter your wife gave
you this morning9" And six men
simultaneously pulled the bell rope
and hurriedly left the car.
There's one curious thing about
discovering places" said Johnny, after
he had got through with his study.
''Take Bermuda, for instance. 1t was
discovered by man named Bermudez.
How he happened to stumble on a
place with name Just like his beats
me-"
There is said to be a woman in New
England, who replied in this way when
the pastor asked about her heaith-2ssI
feel very we'll, but always feel bad
when feel well, because I know
am going to feel worse afterward. 4"
There are plenty of people in the
country outside Of New England who
borrow trouble in that way.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30
THE FAITH OF CALVIN
Reformed Church Celebrates Its
American Centennial.
HISTORY OF ITS RAPID SPREAD.
From German IL Became English-xtD
Membership In This Country .
Quarter OF . Mtllion.

From almost LOCO pulpits In this country
today prayer of thanksgiving will ascend
because il has pleased God TO bless the Re-
formed church in the United States dur.
ing the hundred years which have been
measured since its first synod met on this
side of the Atlantic. The church. which
is in special sense that of Calvin and
Zwingli and Ursinus. must always DO i'm
teresting to all Christians. as its spirit 10
venerated by its communicates.
1t is historically derived from the Re-
formed church of Germany and Switzer-
land. Its establishment in this country
dates from the first quarter of the last cen.
tury. An ecclesiastical organization called
the Cntus was effected in 1747, but the
powers of this body were purely advisory,
and all its acts were subject to revision by
the authorities in Europe. The advance
ment of the church in America having
rendered an independent organization nec-
essary, the Coetus resolved itself into .
synod at Philadelphia April "a, 1893. The
hundredth anniversary of this occasion
will be observed throughout the land, and
there will be special celebration at tho
meeting of the general synod at Reading,
Pa, in MAY. Among those who will be
present are such distinguished men as the
Rev. DIR. James j. Good, the Rev. DIR. J. o.
Miller. the Rev. +. X. Levan, the Rev.
Ellis n. Kremer, the Rev. J. III. Dubbs,
and the Rev. George w. Willard, d. D.,
LID, who writes for the Posr-IN rELLI-
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

All the Members Enjoying
Health and Prosperity.
The WiAov Of the 0rooe Soldier Rae =,
Interesting Let 81 orandchilAren.
to Whom She 10 Devoted.

Col. Fred Grant represents his govern
ment at the court of Austria, Jesse and
Ulysses, jr., are respected citizens in the
business world, and Nellie, since the death
of her scapegrace husband. Algernon Sar-
toris, leads pleasant life in England with
her father-in-law. The generals widow
resides with her son, Ulysses. jr., and the
placidity of her closing years is in pleas
ing contrast with her life when she shared
with her husband the hardships of pow
erty, the excitement of military success,
the publicity of White House life, the at
tentions of the worlds great folk and the
sorrows OF financial reverses and unmer-
tied disgrace.
Mrs. Grants affection for and trust in
the members of her own family is perh aps
her most distinguishing characteristic.
Her faith in Gen. Grant knew no bounds
and it never fal.ered. 1t was strongest
when times were hard, and she has often
said that she was never happier than when
they lived in their Galena home on his
salary of $40 month. Though by nature
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

When Tom and were married We took . little
fat:
had !. taste for singing. and for playing and all
And Tom. who loved to hear me. said he hoped
All practice, like 20 many wives who ls. their
So resolved to set apart An hour or two each
To keep my vocal chords and hands in trim to
sing and play.
The second morning had been for half IN
hour or more
At work ON Haydns masses, when tap
came at my door.
nurse who wore dainty cap. An apron
Ran down 10 ask If would cease my
music for awhile.
The lady in the fiat above was very sick,
she said,
And the sound Of my piano was distract.
ing to her head.
A fortnight's exercises loss-then began them,
when
The fol owing morning. at my door there came
q tap again.
woman with an ansuishad face implored me
TO forego
Ny music Tor some days to coms-s man was
Ishus down my piano till the corpse had lsf.
And spoke TO Tom in whispers and Was quiet q
omouseI
A week OF labor iimbered up my stifyened
hands and voice,
Istole An extra hour from sleep to practice
aud rejoice:
when 'tiDg-a-ting' the coorbelI rang-a
discord in my trili--
The baby in the dat across was very, very
i'll.
Tor ten long days that infants LIE was
hanging BY thread,
And all that time my instrument was
silent as the dead.
So pain and death and sickness came In one
perpetual row;
When babies were not born above, then tenants
died below.
The funeral over underneath, some one fell Ill
on top,
And begged mc for the love OF God TO Let my
music drop
When trouble went not up or down it stalked
Ecross the hall.
And so, in spite Of my resolve, / never play
NJ ali.
Flu Hkssey H't,ooS
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

snakes and % on. One q young lion.
And SO gradually hs got tosesher quite .
small menagerie. Bit am Found to nav
at first there was not much arsstit in it.
when left schoci in 1853, At the are Of
Is he asked me whether weaid be q fish
dealer or wild peasG collector. I chose
tbs wild beasts. So he gave rae ESQ which
l was TO spend as best ccaits In buyine
animals. Fortune favored me. I made
some capital bargains. I increased the
business a hundred sold, ana in 1866 he
handed the whole business over TO me-"
At this moment rny eye fes4 upon a large
photograph of the celebrated P. T. Bar
mum, which hung Upon sns wall. Mr.,
Hagenback. noting the direction of my
gaze, said to me: 81 suppcs. you know
who that is" l replied: sWhy, it's p.
I. Barnum." Exactly, said he. II
was walking about tie menaeerie one day
IN lSs2, when Mr.. Ba-num was announced.
He said: I've just come - have a look
round. I've got ar hour or swo to spare,
and thought I might as well spend it
here as anywhere else" Well, sir, /"
continued Mr.. Hagenbeck, smiling at the
recollection of his iTst morsentous inter-
view with the great Snowman, '.ne staid
fourteen days. and he filled TWO big note
books before he lett ne. He was delighted
with all he saw and still more SO with all I
told him. / told him all about ostrich
riding, and / suggested to- him that it
would be a splendid thing is ne got up q
regular wild beast h2 Mt in hiss hippodrome.
He was immensely taken with the idea.
He begged me to join him as partner,
but this was unable to do. slthough for
many years / suppiied him with his wild
beast4o
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

groups. and they viii create a sensation.
Il venture to say that not even in
America have lions and sheep been seen
playing together before. l shall show
fuli-grown lions riding on horseback. A
man will drive q chariot round the arena
drawn by three lions. A splendid Nubian
lion will follow him, seated in . chariot
drawn by two tigers, and tiger will ride
. bicycle round the hippodrome every day.
"Ninety-three thousand paying visitors
passed through my show in Berlin year
or two ago In one single day. and We shall
show in Chicago. have hired . ship
specially to take rs over to America. and
We shall take twenty-four days to get to
. Chicago. My parrot show alone will as
tonlsh the Americans, for | am taking
over no less than 1O2 different species.
Before you leave Hamburg will arrange
to have grand entertainment and exhi-
bition for your own special benefit. In
the meantime you may just have a look
round at some of the animals
Here" said he, as we stood before q
cage Of very charming monkeys, ARE
some very clever animals. They can ride
horses in circus Just AZ well as a man
can; they can jump through hoops, and
they are trained exactly like human be-
ings; in fact, they can do almost anything
but talk. have just sent some people to
Abyssinia to fetch me some big
siiver-gray thermometers, sometimes
called hamadryads. I said just
now" continued Mr.. Hagenbeck with q
laugh, that monkeys can't talk, yet you
give me any monkey you like to name,
and I'll guarantee III make it talk; but
you can only do it by Initiating them
closely. Take for instance the chimpanzee
over there" continued tho clever trainer,
pointing to little animal fast asleep on .
cross bar. Now listen," he went on,
making peculiar noise with his lips. At
once the animal woke up, jabbered re-.
cage, put his tiny paw out ready for the
nuts which he knew were sure to be forth
coming, as indeed they were. ''There, F"
said Mr.. Hagenbeck, don't tell me mon
keys can't talk; and the different species
have different voices and languages. ex-
actly the same as human beings have"
A little further on we came across a tiny
height. 1t was as black As coal and had
just arrived from Singapore. 1t was very
playful, but when / began pushing it
about, as one might roll big beer barrel,
it INDUCED in a fretful growing, which
much amused US. Seven beautiful ele-
plants stood in one big stable together,
and as l admired their huge proportions
and wondered at their entire gentleness, l
said to Mr. Hagenbeck, rs it true as our
great English circus proprietor, George
Sanger. told me last summer, that the
Asiatic elephant is far more intelligent
than its African brother?" Certainly
| not" replied Mr.. Hagenbeck. 1.-THE
African elephants are just as clever, just
as gentle, just as intelligent as the Asiatic
elephants There's no difference between
them. and l ought to know, for have had
to do with them for thirty years, and I
have imported as many as seventy-six in
one year" RAYMOND BLATHwAYT.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

GEvcER the following sketch of the church's
work and prophecy of its future:
The Reformed church in the United
States, having reached the one hundredth
year of its independent existence in Amer
lea. has taken measures to commemorate
the event by having special services In all
the congregations of which it is composed,
acknowledging thereby the goodness of
God vouchsafed to us as a church.
The first German ministers sent from
Europe to this country came under the
auspices of the Reformed Dutch church
of North America, the two churches work
ing together until 1898. when the German
branch assumed an independent existence
BY the side of its sister with whom We arc
all now trying to form federal union,
hoping thereby to advance the cause of
Christ more effectually. Our growth dur
ing these hundred years has been such as
to occasion gratitude. We have now
membership of about DDS, 900, found largely
in Pennsylvania, Maryland and Ohio. and
in lesser proportion in Virginia, North
Carolina, Indiana, Illinois. Michigan, Wis
consin, Minnesota, Iowa and Kansas.
There were in 1890, according to the statis-
tics of the general synod. S35 ministers.
eight snyods. fifty-six classes, LISA con-
gregations. DOC, 49S communicate members.
1913 Sunday schools, 13s,6i6 Sunday
school scholars, 2s5 students for the min
istry, and over 100000 raised for benevo-
lent purposes.
The transition from the German to tho
English language has been very rapid
within the last quarter of the century, SO
that there are now only few exclusively
German congregations outside of the cities,
making us substantially an English speak
ing church. The main literary and theo-
logical Institutions are Franklin and Mar
shat college at Lancaster. Pa. Heidelberg
university at THIN, o., Ursinus college at
Collegeville, Pa, aud the Mission house
at Franklin, Wis, with number Of lit
erary institutions, such as Catawba college,
Newton, n. c.; Wichita university,
Wichita, Kan, and Calvin college, Cleve-
land, q.
The Reformed church is Presbyterian in
its form of government, holding as il does
to the parity of its ministers. with the fol-
lowing judicatorieS: The consistory, the
Chassis, the district svnods and general
synod. 1t gives prominence to the prac-
tice of catechiZation, by which it hopes to
instruct and prepare its baptized members
for admission to all the privileges OF the
church at an early period in life.
The Heidelberg Catechisrn. prepared by
Zacharias Urslnus and Casper Olevia-
mus in 1563-the confessional standard Of
che church--is highly esteemed and priced
by the Re formed church for its concise and
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

the object of much well meant but. to q
sensitive nature, humiiiating sympathy.
Every time she has returned to the land
of her birth all the painful details of her
unfortunate marriage have been retold in
the newspapers greatly to her distress.
Add to this strange fact that her misfor-
tune has not even been politely ignored
by American society people who have had
the honor of entertaining her, but that
even at a reception given to her In New
York twelve people" (she recently saidD
'were ill-mannered enough to condole
with me-" Still another reason for her de-
termination to end her days in England is
the fact that her father-in-law has settled
property on her children. to 60 to them
only on condition that they be educated
and reared there. and that so long as he
lives, he have the benefit and pleasure of
their happy society.
OF course Mrs. Sartoris goes out in So
ciety some. She is still beautiful woman.
Although she is now 81 years old she
looks less than 80 and is bright and vi
vacious. In London she is an enormous
favorite. The fact that she is the daugh-
ter of a great American does more for her
there than it would in New York. "Peo-
pie over there" said a friend the other
day, "have an idea that Nellie Grant
Sartoris is the daughter Of sort OF dead
king of the United States, and her posi-
she were real princess"
The elder Sartoris spares neither time
nor money IN his efforts to make the life
OF his wayward sons wife happy one.
They have splendid country place on
the seashore, surrounded by acres of beau
tifully kept grounds. and their London
home is really magnificent. Whatever the
little ones want they have. and they want
Q good many things. During the winter
Mrs. Sartoris has entertained freely in
London. but of cour.e all that is stopped
now that she has gone into mourning for
her husband.
The nickname "Buck." applied to Ulys-
ses s. Grant, IT., is shortening OF the
title Buckeye Boy" by which his father
and mother called him when child be-
cause he was a native of Ohio. He is very
fond Of his life on the farm near Purdy
Station. Westchester county, y. V, of
about 400 acres which was given TO his
daughter by Senator Chatfee when she
Was married TO L. S., jr.
Il would rather sit on fence on that
farm" the latter once told friend. land
watch things grow than do anything else
know Of" He devotes all his summers to
overseeing its affairs. and its sleek cattle
and biooded horses are the envy of ali the
neighboring farmers. He visits New York
in the season about once a week, and has
an Office at 63 Wall street.
There are many curious points OF SINH
Coztiav<d On PG0e u
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

Why" / said, Mr.. H,2Genbeck, that
opens up quite ne " field 6f labor"
Exactly" he replied. "but that is one
of the most impor amt paris Of my bust
ness. l undertake the esseolishment of
menageries all over the W rid. l supply
people with their buildings, with their
animals, with their keersrs, with their
trainers. Take. for INSTANCE, the zoolog-
icai gardens at Cincinnati. l filled them
from top TO bottom. l recently made one
in Rio Janeiro."
And can you tell me an anything about
the prices of wild anima:s. Mr.. Hagen
beck ?'' said /.
well" he replied. '.i1..ces differ so
much from time 10 time. according to the
fashion in wild animals, ;1r l can assure
you that there is "a much fashion In wild
animals as there is in ladies' dresses.
Prices are always rising nrd falling, ac-
cording as the animals CONG into market,
and especially according To- the variety. /
can remember that once sold IN one day
a cargo of African beasts for $50, 600.
"a fuil-grown hfppotau,is Is now worth
81 900 A two-hoined rb.eoceros, which
was worth $500 III $50, can rot now be OBJ
tanned ut any price. Az Indian tapir
costs $500. an Anne sican tfpr $50. Ele-
plants vary according t. size and train
ing. from $50 10 40. A god forest bred
lion. full grown. aill fet;en from ESQ to
eco. according II The spef;e,. Tigers run
from fioo to fi5G. rccordiaV to their va
riety. Do you know" he aoutinued, that
there are five DIFF srent varieties of royal
tigers? and besides these. there are the
tigers which come from Java, Sumatra,
PanaDg, and even rom tbs sitter cold and
dreary wastes of Siberia. a+nakes are very
much down in tie marsss at present.
Those which formerly fe,ihed f5 to E10
you can get ibr g. Very large ones some
times run up 10 so. LeopsSfls. $50 Black
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

door stood within a great shed full of
Wild beasts, enraged and excited at my
enexpected appearance, bowling and
lparing around me. For visitors, except
hose on business. are never allowed
within those notable precincts. / stood
moment dazed and awestruck at the
until was recalled 10 myself by the
Sudden laying hold of the flaps of nay
eloak by the great unsheathed claws of a
Nubian lion. l leaped forward and the
beasi retired. growing, to the gloomy re-
cesses OF his cage.
Az that moment Karl Hagenback
cane forward and gave me hearty
se,come. coupled with word of warn
Ing not to go TOO near the cages. Mr..
. Hseenback is a tall. singularly pleasant
boxing mai, with keen, kind eyes and
hrm, decisive manner. He took me
! into his office, and We sat down while
be told me something of the curious and
I Interesting life which he has led tor so
many wears
I my father" said he. started in life as
FISH dealer in this town, and never
dreamed that he would one day be the
-e~''ei va the Sieatess iiebasei4S III 'he
World But 1t CHANGED in the year 1913
some fishermen who usually traded with
| lm Brought him some very fine seals
which they had caught in their sturgeon
bets. They we're very fine animals. and
he was delighted with them. lie there
lore made tour TO Berlin, opened a small
exhibition in kroll's gardens and showed
tie seals for money. Then there came a
Evolution in the city, business was at a
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

been reproached for her avowed love for
life abroad and dislike for the United
States. Any one who knows her and un-
derstands her character must see the in
Justice Of this.
Daring her fathers two terms as presi-
dent she was to some extent the social
head of the family. although she was ex-
tremeiy young TO occupy that position.
Her mother was not fond Of society, and
sincerely disliked the duties which were
imposed upon her as the presidents wife.
and we'll; and little Nellie frequently took
her mothers place in the presidents car
rage on those distributing tours
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-30

has often been remarked. As the son
grows older this increases, and it is now
positively startling. Minister Grants Ca
reer has been an interesting and important
one; if it were not dwarfed by the great
ness of his fathers it would seem excep-
tiOnally eminent. When but q lad he
went to the front with his father and was
intrusted by the general with many i'm
portant duties. He contracted severe
illness and was sent to the hospital. At
ter the war he entered the military acad-
envy at West Point, and after his gradua-
ton from that institution was for soma
time employed as q member of the en-
cheering corps which was laying out the
Union Poetic railroad. When Gen. Sher-
man made his trip abroad Fred Grant
went along as aid-de-camp.
At the aristocratlc court Of the Emperor
Francis Joseph. Minister Grant has be-
come tar more popular than any Ameri-
can minister before him. The most exclu-
sive society of the empire has welcomed
him. and he has become one of the trusted
friends of the emperor himself, who has
for several seasons done him the unprece-
denied courtesy of pressing upon him ono
of the imperial summer residences for oc-
cupancy during the hot weather. His sue
cess in securing the repeal of the restric-
tons upon American pork and vines is
well known, and the first order sent to this
country for the latter after the removal of
the restrictions was for 100000 grape
stocks
Minister Grants capacity fo- the alb
sorption Of detail and his systematic in
dustry stands him in good stead in his
present post. He has made study of the
military and naval resources of Austria,
and an eminent journalist who asked him
for information IN this direction reports
himself as amazed with the accuracy and
variety Of knowledge displayed in the re-
plies given. In Minister Grants Office
there is large and thoroughly sys;emized
collection of maps, documents and pic
lures, from which, together with his own
analysis of the facts, 3 complete history
and statement of the fighting capacity of
the Austro-Hungarian Smpire might be
made.
Minister Grants residence in Vienna is
always open to his countrymen abroad,
with whom he never fails to become popu-
lar His social success at court and with
Americans is doubtless greatly contrib
uted to by his beautiful and brilliant wife,
who was Miss Honore. and is a sister of
Mrs. Potter Palmer. With their two chill
dren, Julia, young lady who was last
year presented at court, and Ulysses s.,
Sd, a boy now in his teens, they form q
most charming domestic group.
Gen. Grants only daughter, Nellie. has