The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-03
A CORPSE POSTMASTER.
Mr.: DOYLE's DEATH ANNOUNCED
FROM WAsHIGTON.

The Postof1ce Department. Notifies
the Sureties of Savannahs Post.
master That He is Dead, and Orders
Them to Take Charge of the Office.
A Strange Document-The Officials
Either Imposed Upon or Badly in
Error-The Postmaster in His Easter
Suit When Told Of Els Death
Anybody desiring to know the experience
Of man waking up and finding himself
dead can procure it by calling upon Post
master Doyle. He went to bed all right
Saturday night and got up yesterday morn
ing and started about his duties feeling all
| right, but after being at the postofice about
an hour be was suddenly surprised to learn
that he was only corpse.
| The startling information came TO the
postmaster from Washington, where Post
master General Bissell and the other officers
Of the department are laboring under the
impression that Mr.. Doyle has gone to his
reward.
Somebody sent word to the postof1ce de-
partment that Savannsh's postmaster was
dead, and the officials believed it. 1t is
strange affair, which is puzzling in the ex-
IRENE. Why any one should want him to
die, except politically, the postmaster can-
not understand.
HOW HE RECEIVED THE NEWS.
Mr.. Doyle was busily engaged at bis desk,
| looking as fine as silk in a new Easter suit,
when Capt. Blum, one of his sureties
stepped into the Office. "Mr. Doyle.n said
| Capt. Blum, ~ have instructions TO take
charge of the possoffice."
"All right, sir" answered the postmaster,
thinking he had been removed by President
| Cleveland. ~ will gladly furnish any
information about its affairs, or give you
| any aid l oan."
II am not Joking" replied Capt Blum.
II am instructed to take charge OF this
office on account Of your death"
My death" exclaimed Mr.. Doyle, do
| | look Ike dead mani"
"You are dead all the same said Can't.
Blum, at the same time pulling from his
pocket a long official envelope from the
postofice department. "Read IT," be said.
TEXT OF THE SAD ANNOUNCEMENT.
Mr.. Doyle drew out the contents, and
here is what stared him in the face:
PosToFFIoE DEPARTMENT,
WASHINGTON, D. O.. March 81, 1893.
Mr.. Henry Bun, Sdudnndh, Ga:
| DEAR SIR-Information having been received
by the Postmaster General OF the death of
| Joseph f Doyle, late postmaster at Savannah
| it is necessary for his suretes to take charge of
the office, and designate some person to act for
| them until a successor Of the deceased POSI-
| master shall be qualified by appointment and
commission
| Your responsibility will not cease until after
the person appointed as his successor shall have
| been commissioned and taken possession Of
SAID office and the accounts of the deceased
| postmaster adjusted by the honorable sixth
| auditor. You are requested TO inform the other
sureties of the receipt and subject matter of
| this circular Respectfully yours,
| r. q. MAXWELL, Fourth Assistant P G.
SURPRISED AT BEING ALIVE.
Mr.. Doyle leaned back 10 his chair to
catch his breath and find out If he really
were dead. He was in a pretty pickle.
Dead several days and did not know it. He
turned the letter over to see if it was bogus,
but everything was genuine and in form,
Along with it was a blank bond for the
acting postmaster 30 be appointed by his
sureties. When he finally recovered Mr.
Doyle asked in a trembling voice: Capt.
Blum, when does my funeral take place?
My friends will have to be invited"
Capt. Blum laughed over the matter, but
Mr.. Doyle did not enjoy the grewsome joke,
| IL joke it was de does not care to be
heraled around the country as a corpse
when he is giving Savannah a good postal
service.
MIR. Doyle promptly wrote TO Postmaster
General Bissell asking to have his name
taken Off the In Memoriam" list and eX-
planning to the head Of the postofflce de-
partment that he Is the livehest kind OF a
corpse. Capt. Blum also wrote the depart
ment asking for the origin of the news OF
Mr.. Doyle's death.
HIS sURETIEs NOTIFIED.
In accordance with his instructions from
Washington, Capt. Blum sent postals to each
of Mr.. Doyle's. sureties, announcing the
news of his death, and asking them to meet
him this morning. The purpose Of the
meeting is to send joint letter to the de-
partmsntal officials about the matter, and
! if possible, have ID thoroughly investiSat
Savannah las either been mixed up
through an error with some small town Of
the same name whose postmaster has re-
Gently died, or else the postotfice depart
ment has been deliberately taken 10 by
somebody DESTROYS of injuriDg our very eff
fcient postmaster.
al wonder If am walking around to save
funeral expenses" remarked Mr.. Doyle.
"When will your funeral take placer
mot before Oct. is, 1894, nope" he ans
swered. My term of Office will expire
then.n