The Van Buren press., 1893-12-02

Gul. WHEEL AdiiS bCkiAS W XIV aNASAe
headed calls tho go-by in this kentry,
shurtf, agricultur mowt ez well go an
but say, shurtf, mebbe they had
root-histin' tushwobbler out there?
Tha's some hope fer agricultur' If they
had one o. them root-histin' tushwob-
ble-s at the fair. They had SO many
durn curious critters an things, raked
an scraped from ev'ry hole nm corner
O. the 'arth. 'cordin' to your tell, that
they must a had tushwobbler. An
| il they had tushwobbler, course they
must a had flock O. bibsnooks. They
couldn't had one without t'other, for
the tushwobbler can't git along with
| out the bibs ooks no more'n the bib
snooks kin git along without the tush-
wobbler. hope ye seen jist one root
h'istin' tushwobbler, anyhow, shurf,
with its flock O. bibsnooks, at the fair.
II ye did, agricultur' may git over 1t
yit Did YEP"
The sheriff seemed to be too much
amazed to answer the Old Settler, and
the latter resumed bis subject
"Tha want nuthin'," said he, ''ez
give young agricultur' IN the fust days
o. the Sugar Swamp deestric' bigger
shove forrid than the root-h'istin' tush-
wobbler. But he were an uncommon
usety lay herself out, b'gosh, to make
things handy fer Sugar Swamp. The
root-histin tushwobbler were twenty.
seven foot long, not countin' his nose,
which were nine foot long, made o.
horn hardcr'n iron an built for usin
ez scoop or a pry or a crowbar He
were shaped e'zac'ly like seegar, an
his eyes an his ears was sot on his
body jist about where ye mowt say his
ness were to dig down clean to the
lowest roots O. trees an hist the trees
out, roots an ALL fer the only thing he
lived on were the roots o. trees; so II
his eyes an ears had be.n in his head
they wouldn't ben no use to him,
cause they'd been stuffed full o dirt
all the time. So natur' fitted 'em up
high an dry on the critters rump, an
consekently he know'd all that were
goin' on under ground an 'bove ground,
though he mowt be twenty foot down
in the airth, diggin an pryin' an
scoopin' the roots loose SOS he could
hist 'em out-an' tina want no hurri-
cane ez ever gallivanted through the
woods could do it quicker'n he could
or half ez proper. About six foot o.
the tushwobbler's hind end were stuck
full O. the curousest holler things
that looked like spiles, an they was
spiles, too. They was mebbe four
inches long and had quarter-inch
hole runnin' clean through 'em. But
w'at'd knocked ye the hattest were
the raisin' O. the tushwobbler's hide,
all over his back, inter sorter loops
jist ezac'ly like handles on yer carpet
bag. Tha must ben a hundred O.
them handles on the tushwobbler's
back, an, havin' not even q sign of a
leg, he were pooty nigh the funniest
loolsin' critter that ever was. He
hadn't no legs, an he hadn't no wings
He couldn't walk, he couldn't fly nor
he couldn't creep nor crawl, yet he
didn't live in the woods, but five mile
away, in the big rocky hoilers on top
o Squawkee hill, thousan' foot high,
y
"Ye mowt wonder leetle about how
the tushwob bier nav'gated, but natur'
knowed her business when she built
the tushwobbler. She know'd that II
she stuck legs on him or sprouted wings
on him, SOS he could travel jist as he
wanted to, he'd eat hissclf outen house
an home the fust thing he know'd, for
he had an all-pervadin' appe tite, an
would h'isted ev'ry tree tina were in
all that hull kentry up by the roots SO
durn soon that his pastur' would a-ben
gone an he'd starved. So natur'
rugged him up jist cz tell ye, an then
she built the bibsnook The bibsnook
were tol'able queer specimen O.
Sugar Swamp nat'ral hist'ry, too. He
looked sumpin' like an owl, only he
didn't hev no feathers nor no wings.
Tha want bone. in him nowhere,
'cept his two legs, which was sat square
where his tail d ben if he'd had
one He had long claws, strong ez a
| blacksmith's wise. He he'd q bill about
two inches long, shaped jist like them
funny spiles in the tushwobbler, with a
hole in it big enough to fit right over
them spiles. Tha want nuthin' else
about the bibsnook that were funny to
look at, not till he sot down to busi-
ness. A flock o bibsnooks allus went
along with ev'ry tushwobbler.
"Tha hain't no use me tellin' We how
the tushwobbler h'isted agricultur'
ahead in Sugar Swamp, fer yer orter
know that clearin' the timber often a
new deestric is the work that keeps
agricultur' back; and the way the tush-
wobbler cleared it by his root h'istin'
beat all creation. Tha's clearin's in
the Sugar Swamp deestric' that'd a ben
o howlin' wildernests to-day ii it hadn't
ben for the tushwobbler clearin' of the
| timber off. Course, he didn't keer fer
agricultur', but he wanted them roots
to eat. The bibsnook want rugged up
to get anything to eat fer hisself, but
nntur' had fixed that Tha's more sap
| in the roots O. trees than tina Is any
where else. and rs the tushwobbler
stuffed hisself ON the juicy roots he
took in gallons o. sap The sap run
along an come out O. them spiles O.
his'n in streams. Sap was the nat'ral
fodder O. the bibsnook an all he had to
do were to q his holler bill over the
tushwobbler's rpiles an jist let the
sap run inter him jist like fllin' a
bucket.
| when it came time to 60 home to
roost way upon Oh Squawkee, yed q
see an amazin' thing If ye'd ben
there. The flock o. bibsuooks ID climb