Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-07-20
Sprinkles of Spice.

| Sprinl<les of Spice.
IF you really want man to keep
cool. don't tell him to- Washington
Star.
IT is strange how quickly a cup of
cold coffee will make a guest hot.
Hotel World.
THE lean pig is the one that squeals
| the most. Let the Pathfinder make
a note. RAMS Horn.
WHEN old ocean is in for a "high
time" there is sure to be raid ON
bars. -Yonkers Gazette.
SHE-This fur rug is very beauti-
full; to what beast does it belong?
He (candidly)-To me.-Jury.
The law is like the ocean. The
greatest trouble is caused by it's
kers.-Rocheste Democrat.
"DoEs Mr.. Lynch suffer from
chronic thirst?" ooh, dear, no. He
doesn't wait long enough. "-Squibs.
Il FIND my money in creasing,
said the man whose business was
pressing clothes. -Yonkers States
man.
A SAUSAGE machine exploded in q
| Manayunk butcher shop and meat
eoric shower ensued. Philadelphia
Record
THE miracle about the tippler's
head is that the less there is Of it
the more apt it is to go round.-El-
mira Gazette.
A LEGAL CURIOSITY. The desire
to know what men with masks are
doing in your house after midnight. -
Detroit Tribune.
| OpENwORK hose may be popular
with fashionable damsels, but good
! fire DEPARTMENT will have none Of it,
Lowell Courier.
CANADA has carried off nearly all
the Worlds Fair prizes for cheese.
The victory must have been a mite-y
one Troy Press.
TIE modern landlord doesn't get
frightened when he sees the hand
writing on the wall. He just gets
mad. Buffalo Courier
WHAT sort of a girl is she?" ooh,
she is miss with mission, "Ah!",
And her mission is seeking man
with a mansion. Life.
WHEN a girl has two strings to her
bow it simply means that If she may
not with one she will knot with the
other. Philadelphia Press.
THE author who sent to an editor
"a story of his own cOmpOsure" didn't
add much to the editors stock OF
tranQu lily. Lowell Courier.
WHILE the spoon is an insignificant
article to look at, it has probably
caused more stir in the world than
any other one thing. Buffalo Courier.
WATTs-What right has Jiggsby to
be applying for pension? Potts
He claims he lost his voice in the
Salvation Army.-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
To CONSTANT READER: No; the
issuing of marriage licenses was not
prohibited by the law forbidding the
sale Of lottery tickets. Buffalo
Courier.
EXACTING FATHER-"James, how
are you getting along with that job
of wood splitting?" Rebellious Son
hour. Detroit Free Press.
EXCELLENT wrapping paper is now
made from the stalk Of the banana
plant. The peel will go on making
those who inadvertently step on it
rap sidewalks. Philadelphia Ledger.
"Row IS it with you?" asked the
editor of subscriber who was dying
in arrears. call looks bright before
me-" gasped the subscriber. Il
thought So" said the editor; Sin
about ten minutes you'll see the
blaze. oil City Derrick
AN ORIGINAL COMPOSITION. =
Teacher-"Area any of your compost
tions ready" Little Girl-"Mine is"
rs it an original composition?"
yes M" "You may read it," 81
went to a wedding and funeral, an
the bride looked lovely an the corpse
looked natural. Good News.
MRS KINDLY "Now, I'll give you
a dime, poor man. But | hope you
will not go and get drunk with it,"
/ The Poor Man (much hurt) Lady,
you do me great wrong to suggest
such thing" Mrs. kindly
didn't mean to accuse you" The
Poor Man-"I'm glad Of it, lady. Do
| I look like man who could get drunk
| on dime?"-Puck.
CALLER-"Why are you waving
your handkerchief so wildly" Mu-
rilla-"Since papa has forbidden Jack
! the house we have arranged a code
| of signals" Caller-"What is it?"
! Murilla- when he waves his hand
kerchief five times that means, do
you love me?' and when I wave fran
tically in reply, it means, Yes, dar-
| ling" Caller-"And how do you
ask the other question:" Murilla-
~We don't. That's the whole code
! .-Harper's Bazaar.