Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-02-18
PITH AND POINT.

at premium.
"Dreadfully cut up'-The amateur
carver's fowl.
A grievance to man is what sore
heel is to boy.-Milwaukes Journal.
There are two sides to every quarrel in
the world but your own.-Atchisou
Globe.
Do as you please and in the end you'll
fno yourself displeased with what you
have done.
ga brush with the enemy" as the fox
remarked when he left his tail in the
trap.-Puck.
One person with chronic case of
vanity sometimes gives the disease to an
entire town.-Galveston News.
Women are usually tender hearted,
but it is not uncommon for them to en-
gage in crewel work. -Lo veil Courier.
He Is a Merry sportsman who will dare
bring home dead ducks from the
butchers without first firing some shot
into them.-Puck
"You fill long-felt want" as the
starving tramp remarked to the gentle
man who bought him square meal
Philadelphia Record.
There are symptoms that crinoline is
coming in again. The ladies fashion
journals are preparing to ''hoop her
up. Lowell Courier.
A difference between a knife blade
losing its temper and a woman is that
the former becomes dullcr and the latter
more cutting.-Philadelphia Times.
''If marriage is lottery
Said Chappie, ~ will thank
Toe wife get if she will not
Describe me as a blank.
ashington Star.
de Young-"What would you call it,
proud beauty, if your cruelty drove ME
to kill myself in yonr presence'" Prou
Beauty" Infanticide. Detroit Tri-
bune.
"What do you suppose old Scourge
wears his whiskers long for,' ''En save
the cost of cutting emf" ,..-so, to save
the cost of buying peeekSties. Chicago
News Record.
ats too bad we are not family Of
ESklrhos." "How would that bene il
us any," johnny furnishes b,ubber
enough for the whole family New
York Herald.
dalton said he felt awfully cheap
last night when Miss Savecash accepte i
him Norton" Why2' because
she never takes anything unless it's a
bargain. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Penelope-"On, I'm in awful luck -
What's the mat.erl" Penelope
-"Engaged, and have still eight new
dresses of which will never have 9
chance to try the effect. Vogue.
The people all get frightened at headache
or a cold,
Aud they turn from all friv0lty All fun.
And it's useless TO assure a man it's safer to
be bold,
For the microb, has the Nation Oh ths
run.
Washington Star.
"Shadows are always larger and
blacker than the objects taat cause
them, said some one. This is particu.
larry true of the shadows OF the trouble
that never comes. Boston Saturday
Evening Gazette.
Bridget, I've found five
or six large pieces of glass in the soup
to-day. How did it happen2' Bridget
-"Shure, ms'am, and didn't yez tell
me TO cook some new dish for dinner2"
Chicago Inter. Ocean.
To woman's eyes, indifference, not
cowardice, is the objectionable sin in II
man. The unbestowed caress of the
lover who Ion IS to kiss his sweetheart,
but dares not, is valued infinitely more
than an indifferent salute. Puck.
Rock bye baby, in the top Hat,
Along toward morning We know where
you're al
When the dawn breaks an we're 10 agins to
snore,
Down comes you're ear splitting voico
through the floor.
Art in A ivertisng.
"Women seldom indulge 10 sarcasm. -
"You think they do nots" LAS rule
they are too kind hearted to be sarcas
TIC" "H'ml Did you ever hear ono of
them say from the top of tie airs,
This is a nice time to come home! -
New York Press.
Willie-"Papa, what is that big
hammer fo-. in the box at the side OF
the car'' Papa TIT serves two purposes
my son--to enable the Conductor 70
knock down fares and to help the com.
mercial travellers TO crack Jokes. -
Pittsburg Bulletin.
"And now, said the country cousin
to the slrl, 1--WE shown you everything
on the farm. "oh, George, you
haven't done any such thing. WIN. [
heard papa say before We started thatIyou
bad mortgage on it that covered nine.
tenths of the ground. It'd Bits.
Editor-"No, ny dear sir; as pest.
humorous poem t'-ese verses would be
good. But do not sec nv way clear
to publishing them just now" Poet
"But what advantage would it be to me
to have them published after my death =
Editor-"l cannot say, my dear sir.
But a posihumorous poem is especially
valuable in the fact that il assures the
reader that no more will be written hy
the same author. - BROOKLYN Life.
TEACHER-"I have told you OF
Louis Kossutb and what he did
have also just said that he recently
ranai NnI nDnMs.A flIln nrN MIN 70 =