New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-04-09
a TERRIBLE LOAD ON HIS MIND.
IL WAS THE SHAPE OF HIS HEAD AND HE WAS
GLAD TO GET AN EXPLANATION.

IL WAS THE SHAPE OF HIS HEAD AND HE WAS
GLAD TO GET AN EXPLANATION.
Williams bought a spring hat the other day. lie
Is naturally one OF the brightest and most cheerful
men IN New.Yorl City. bnt from III" day that he
put on that hat he a melancholy look which
would have given hope To man who has had case
for property damage against the elevated road for
thirteen years. lie Stunned all his friends. he never
smiled. he refused TO 10 ia" theatre he would not
talk about Democratic appointments. the Worlds
Fair had charm for him-hc was gloomy. sour
faced. hopeless. deSpcrac.loDklng man.
a week after he bought his spring hat he mot
Jones. Jones Is always telling about things which
have happened 10 him. Ec5D To tell him about
ride You took and he will give sou an account OF
his journey across the plains on horseback. Let
him know ahOnt your having bought II house ana liz
will explain about his famous rcalcSta,e speculation
In the dim past Well. this trick OF Jones und0ubt"u'
~ saved Wuliams's life.
see you've got spring hat. to-" said Jones
How do you like the new style ~
"Oa. I like the style we'll enough" answered
Williams in gloomy voice.
"say." said Jones. speaking Of buying new hats.
did you ever notice how those machines that hatt"r>
use to get your size and shape show up your head =!
"What has that TO do With the new styleP said
Williams sharply.
"Oh. nothing. only"
at looks as II spring were about ready to come
In earnest. doesn't it," asked Williams.
Yes. bu, abont the shape OF ones head
Its been about spring as 1 have
known" Williams went on.
Now" said Jones, when they put that machine
your head"
"Ir be glad when summer gets here" Williams
Insisted.
When they put those machines on"
But Williams was determined to discuss the
weather.
at can't get too warm for me-" he said ener-
GctIcally.
"sec here. Williams" said Jones. getting red In
the face. why In the world do you insist on talking
about the weather. | want To tell you about those
head measuring machines"
say Jones'" said Williams, desperately. lets go
TO III. theatre tonight let's 50 and get luncheon lets
take a waik-lcts do anything
Great scott MANI cried Jones, what are you so
excited aboutl just want to tell you about
See here Jones' said William, stsrnly. d" don't
want TO hear another word about your Internal ma
chine. I'm not going TO listen TO you. won't do
it, he said shutting his teeth
And I'm, going 10 tell 1t to you." said Jones. get
ting mad enough TO fight. II die for It, What !
want TO say is this. When looked at the shape Of
nv head the other day It was something awful. some
thing awful / say. Yes. sir" lie continued. looking
earnestly nj Williams who had umconsciolsly taken o
his hat willie ho held hand IN Il frightened way
III, head Yes. sir my head Looked like all idio' >
Caesars ghost said to the man. you don't
mean 10 >ay that my head Is shaped Ike that y a.,
WHY no. he said. Ills machine doesn't ica'N
show the shape Il your head only brinss ont Ger
tain points 10 help rs III y"n.'
Williams looked dazcd with surprise
Int. say. you ought to have seen the Kind OF II
head that Thing gavo me. Nov
+" Look here, Jones'" crc Williams 1oyfuily. get
ing his speech again. come and have drink. Come
and have IL bottle. come and have anythimi olI
man. you've taken IL terrible load OF my MIND !
Looked at the shape of my head when bought thls
lat IL was the first time I'd ever looked ~ that out
line We'll. II nearly stopped my heart from beating
Yon never SAW ANYTHING Hike H. Talk about vout
head Mine looked like founder with y broken
back and two twists In II. There were bumps and
culS and holes and patches IN w. Knew that II J
had "A head like that | was In danger OF becoming m
IDIOT any minute There was Ia try aud get
around il. | about made up mind that was M
idiot alrendy And nOw-cOmc and have Il drink old
man. That's a load OIL my mind"