The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1893-12-21
ALMIGHTY GROVER.
A Colorado Democratic While in a PRAYER
full Mood Offers a Sarcastic Prayer:

A Colorado Democratic While in a Prayer
full Mood Offers a Sarcastic Prayer.
The following prayer was delivered
at the close of a Democratic conven-
ton at Gunnison, Co.., by Edwin
Cooke, mayor of Irwin:
Oh, almighty and all-powerful Cleve-
land, who art in Washington, when
not fishing; thou art the father of
Ruth and Ruth's sister, and godfather
of the Democratic party tits father
wouldn't own it if it were here), we
hail thy name as the great political
prophet of the country. We bow down
before thee in humble political obedi-
ence. When thou sayest go, we go,
and when thou sayest come, we come,
We have no desire but to serve you.
If thou sayest black is white, we will
swear to it and lick the everlastin'
stuffin' out of the man who disputes it.
When thou takest snuff we will sneeze;
when thou sayest free silver we will
echo thy words; when thou sayest gold
then gold it is. We are Democrats
after the improved modern type. Our
business is to vote the ticket and vote
FER straight. What is it to us
whether we have free silver or not?
We are but dogs that eat the crumbs
that fall from our masters table,
When the crumbs fall we wag our tails;
when they fall faster we wag faster;
when they don't fall we stand and
wait until they do. This is Democ-
racy. This is the kind of Democracy
which elected thee, our great and al
mighty Cleveland. Oh, most adored
master, we love thee for what thou
hast not done for US. We love thee
because thou art Cleveland. We hum
bly, surrender ourselves to thee. Do
with us what thou wilt. Though wheat
is only 40 cents a bushel we love thee;
though cotton is low, we still love thee;
though thousands, millions are out of
employment, we love thee; though our
children are clothed in rags, we love
thee; though the dear companion of
our bosom is scantily dressed and looks
so shabbily she can't go to church, we
love thee; though we are sinking
deeper in debt. and poverty is knock
ing at the door, and hunger is staring
US in the face, we love thee still. This
shows our great faith and love for thee.
Our wives and children are willing to
sacrifice, even as. the Hindoo mother
sacrifices her offspring by throwing: it
under the crushing wheels of the Jug
gernaut.
Oh, mighty Cleveland, words cannot
express our love for thee. We love
our party, too. What care we about
the many promises it made. We know
it promised free silver, and we know il
won't give it to us, but we will stick tc
the party. We know we said if it die
not do the things it promised to do we
would leave it, but we lied when we
said it. We thought that we had some
manhood about US, but we amt. We
have no independence. Thou, OF
mighty Cleveland, hast all the man
hood and independence in the party
We are fools, liars, lickspitlers, mud
stills. We have no business to want
anything or to say anything. Last
year we favored free silver, and now
we have to oppose it. We favored il
then because we thought it was right
We oppose it now, most adored master
because thou tellest US to. Amt we q
honey of the first water? Did ever q
dog serve his master more faithfully:
Did ever dog get less for it? Oh
mighty master, we are ever ready tC
serve the party. All the pay we ask
is to be patted on the back by a Local
politician and called a good Democrat
We amt got any sense. We don't
want any, only enough to vote the
ticket. 1t don't take any sense to be
a good Democrat. What joyful
thought! We don't have to think
We don't have to worry. Our work is
all mapped out for US. All that is ex
pected is to do what we are told to do
We thank thee, oh Cleveland, that we
are Democrats. We thank thee fo1
the panic. We thank thee for the
hungry and idle men and women in the
land. We thank thee for low prices
We thank thee for the banks that have
busted and the thousands of business
failures since thou hast come into
| power. We thank thee for hard times
We thank thee for the rags our child
| rem have to wear. We thank thee fo]
the clothes our wife needs and cam
get. We thank thee for what tho,
hast not done for the people. W.
thank thee for all these things because
it is our duty as good Democrat to dc
SO. It may be ''against the grain y bu1
we will take our medicine. We will