The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-03-28
THE ARIZONA K r.
The Editor Proposes to Run Things to
Suit Himself.

Suit Himself.
\ QUEER LOT. Last Saturday big
Jim Taylor, the freighter, who has to
hold printed matter at the end of his
nose to read it, and who couldn't spell
out thename california " in less than
five minutes to a his neck, stopped
his copy of The Kicker because we
didn't have two accounts Of stage rob
berries that week. On Monday DANDY
Charlie" the gambler, stopped his
paper because we refused to publish a
column biography Of John @. Heenan.
Tuesday afternoon that old cayUse
Familiarity knownas Tom Perry wanted
US to devote the local page to a history
of the pyramids Of Egypt, and when
we stood him off he got mad and or
dered his name off the books. We'd
nesday morning Judge Green walked
in on us and demanded to know
| whether we we're running q sawmiu or
a newspaper. He had got hold Of an
account Of the Bender family Of Kan
sas, and eve having sec it in The
Kicker he thought we were beating our
subscribers. We offered to compro-
mise by publishing an account of the
surrender Of Lord CORVALLIS at York
town, but he went away MAD and
| wouldn't be found dead with q copy Of
our paper in his pocket. We didn't
expect to hit everybody's taste when
we opened shop here. We purpose to
run things after u own policy, and
those who don't like it must standfrom
under. Every week we present acorn
bination Of murder, love, elopement,
robbery, assassination, religion, poll
tics, poetry, executions, scandals,
science and agriculture, and the critter
who obstinately insists that there is a
vacuum somewhere doesn't know the
difference between wolf meat and por-
terhouse steak.
WILLIAM Is WAITING.-AbOut two
! months ago an individual who called
himself "Wild Bill" started in bust
ness at the Grand Canyon crossing as
a road agent. He made a bOtch Of it
! from the start, and The Kicker came
out and said that he hadn'tsand enough
to pat a mule on the kicking end. The
| other day we received a letter from
William in which he made all sorts Of
declarations as to what he would do in
case he got US under the muzzies of his
guns. We have got q picture in our
! minds eye. In the foreground Wild
William sits on a rock beside the trail
patiently waiting ourappearance. Afar
| off we can be seen coming up on our
way to Prescott. IS We draw near we
are commanded to throw up our hands
| and dism0unt, and William sizes us up
as good for the price OF 8 curled hair
| mattress with 6 red COver He has
! Just uttered his first cackle Of satisfac-
| ton when northern Arizona suddenly
rises up under his feet and let's him
drop with 9 smash that loosens all his
hair OF the roots, and when he comes
to he has gone cut Of the road agent
business forever. For fear that W. b.
may not follow us closely we Will drop
the feather Of rhetoric and pick up the
crawbar Of fact and assure him Of our
intention to bring about an early meet
ing. We ache to see him. We hope
he viii be loaded for bar. If we can't
get him on the run inside Of two min
utes from the time we sight him, we'll
quit the territory within a month and
never enter it again.
Nor OUR WAY.-We notice that an
Ohio editor has declined the nomina.
ton of representative to fill a vacancy
| in the State Legislature, Not only that,