Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-10-19
CLUB WOMEN ARE So SILLY
And Women's Clubs Are In
variabIy a Farce.
MAKE HOME YOUR CLUB, MADAM
Women Who Are Crazy to be
Parliamentarians.


| hhtcher the queens Engltsh--U nmtti
gated "Gall" aud Jealousy Abundant.
Special Correspondent OF Gazette and Journal
NEw York, Oct. l3.-What is the matter
nowadays with lovely woman? When two
or three of her are met together, she i'll.
varlably wants to call it club, and to
begin TO be parliamentary. Ewes daugh.
| tiers are not clubable. When a few nice
women meet have pleasant time, arrange
TO come together soon again. and keep on
meeting informally every week or so, it's
delightful. But the very minute that the
| woman enters who has once belonged to a
club, the leaven of unhappiness comes; a
president is elected, rules are made the
women squabble and they yearn for de.
| scriptions of their meeting To be written
| up in the newspapers. once had for two
months the doubtful felicity of belonging
to club, and during that time | heard
more bad English, saw more envy, hatred,
malice and all observation-disclosures, and came
nearer to losing my own self-respeet than
ever before, because | belonged to the sex
that all that club did.
cLuB WOMEN ARE so SILLY.
| Since then l have had the extreme
pleasure of being present at various club
meetings, and every time go wish had
the pen of a Dickens and the pencil of
Hogarth. The woman with unmtigated
| GALL am obliged to use o slangy and
| coarse worlds the woman who is most in
evidence. She pushes past all the more
refined women and counts herself the
Voice" Next to her comes the gushing
woman who gets up and distributes
| nattery with trowel until the
women about whom she is talking
| get to believe themselves something
more than women and not less than
| gods. The feminine idea of parliamen.
| tary rules is unique; some enthusiast will
third motion; another will get up right
| i'll the midst of an argument as to how the
rent is to be raised for the club rooms and
| after saying that she hopes they will get
| It, tell an affecting little story about her
baby girl praying that she NAV soon be
| old enough to JON mammals club. Then
everybody applauds and one tender
hearted woman jumps up and says Il
know that was a good speech because it
made me cry"
WOMEN BoREs AND FLATTERERs.
The lest club meeting that / attended
made such an impression upon me that
couldn't sleep all night, and my family OBJ
lectlng TO my meandering around in long
| white robe and frightening the dogs, think
that had better not accept any more in.
vitatlons. The speaker who looked as IL
she were in training for prize fight, but
| who at that time was only wrestling with
the Queens English, announced that she
wasn't going to make set speech, but Just
| give talk, which talk she promptly pro.
ceeded to read from a bundle of manu-
script. 1t was an ignorant, vulgar piece of
hattery; 1t simply praised everybody and
| everything, and summed up the situation
| by concluding that everybody who didn't
| yearn to wear the special badge of that
club and who wasn't proud of belonging
toit had better-well. don't know exactly
what they had better do, but anyhow get
| off into innocuous desuetude.
There is no comparative degree in a
woman's club. Everything is superlative
| A young woman, who wore pink felt
hat, on which black feathers bobbed, and
whose hair had the stamp that marks the
caste of peroxide of hydrogen. was pre-.
scented to me as Miss Lulu Smithers, the
| greatest dramatic actress living" l con-
| Tess to being frightened, and know Miss
Lulu Smithers set me down as being an
idiot. had met the divine Sarah; I had
| met the exquisite Jane Hading; / had de,
| lighted in Ellen Terry, loved with Mrs.
Kendall, stared at Duse, had lived twenty
| nine years, had gone to the theatre ever
since l was two years old, and had never
heard OF Miss SmitheTs, the greatest
| dramatic actress. Immediately after that
Mrs. Angelina Bas-Bleu came up, and was
announced US the writer of to-day" She
was tall; she spoke of herself as slender.
But l find Pony women often cali them
selves that.
SHE HAD MOUTH LIKE BULL DOG
and her clothes looked us if they had been
fired at her and by chance stuck. She was
graciousness itself; indeed, it may be said
that she condescended to rue to such an
extent that l felt she was wiping up the
hoor with me. Her voice and her walk
were alike strident. In sort of u long-dis
lance telephone tone, she halioed: II am
told that you write a little.' grew two
inches shorter, and said ION the tyne
writer" Her nostrils inflated, she looked
at me pityingly, and added: II thought
you were one oil us. There are times when
feel that must write; | feel as Chatter
ton did. feel the divine atile.us; get IN
in the night and put my thoughts down in
burning words, and for three days after
wards | am perfectly exhausted" l
always like to buy a new book. so very
weakly said: ut may sound very igno-
rant, but should like to know the name
OF your last book, for | believe would
enjoy ~" With glance, that ought to
have killed me, but didn't she nswered,
and il 1T had been through the "'phone'
they would have heard her in Washing
ton, II have never yet published. MY
thoughts are too sacred for the world at
large. Then had the same feeling that
dog has when he walks out OF room
MOB OF CLUB LouNGERs.
j was introduced to the famous soubrette
who had never yet made her appearance
on any stagei was introduced to the COM
ing woman, to one who is to rewrite all
the'plays, to show the faults of the great
dramatlsts and all the players of the pres
ent day; was introduced to Young
woman who asked me if / was athletic
and TO another one who asked me if | wore
corsets, and who called down upon me an
| awful present and future of fire and
sulphur when said did.
Funniest of all, was introduced to a
woman who was called 1.-THE woman's
friend, and who yet, to my knowledge,
had detrauded young woman out of
$500 by using the name of a well-known
| actress, and who was so conscious of this
deceit herself that, when she was threat
| ened with exposure, she gave back the
money for the sake of getting the contract,
and never realized that a clever lawyer
had that contract photographed to keep
her from Matchmaking his client, and that
one OF those photographs was in my los.
session. After seeing this woman |
couldn't stay. got out in the fresh air as
soon as possible.
HOW THIS MAN DOES DETEsT THEM.
Walking up Fifth avenue l met the
| Colonel He didn't say anything to me
about my brain; but, as he dined with me
the night before, he spoke of the excel
| lence of the mutton, and of the great
knowledge that it took to arrange a suit
able dinner. | told him about the CLUB;
he shook his head very sadly. tits ali
wrong all wrong" he said. THE suitable
| clubs, as far as women are concerned,
| should consist either of husband and wife,
| Of mother and children, or of young girl
| and her sweetheart. These combinations
are never parliamentary. When feminine
/ clubs come in, good cooking goes out.
L have the nrnatesL rnsnRct az won knnu, m -