News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1893-08-03
nnw NE SAVED MONEY.
Being the Story of the Smoker, the Toba'
conist and the Pretty Cigar Holder.

Being the Story of the Smoker, the Tobao-
conist and the Pretty Cigar Holder.
Gas near as can calculate, remarked
Major Shortcut, veteran smoker, as he
lighted a big, black cigar and settled
himself back in an easy chair, II havo'
Just escaped an error that would have
resulted in an increase of about $500 a
year in my personal expenses. 1t was
this way: This morning dropped in to
order a few hundred fresh cigars from
the dealer who had been supplying me
with this same brand for i've years. Aft
tr booking my order the amiable tobac-
ponist brought from his desk and handed
TO me neat little leather case, remark
ing that he wanted to present me with a
little gift. Upon opening it found that
it contained a beautiful meerschaum
cigar holder. My first impulse was to
express the admiration which actually
felt and to thank him for his great kind
ness. The next instant, however, L had
regained control of myself and was safe.
Handing the case back to the dealer, l
told him how much 1 appreciated his
generosity and how beautiful the gift
was, but that he must really excuse me
for declining it. 1 told him in confidence
that / was possessed of a strange, unrea-
soning superstition of all articles made
of meerschaum; that they had always
seemed to bring me bad luck and bust
ness disaster, and that begged him not
to think me churlish in refusing to ac-
cept this one.
"He took my story good naturally,
laughed at my superstitions, and came
away fully confident that had not an
gered or wounded him. l was particu-
larly anxious to avoid hurting his feel
ings; hence my plain and fancy lying.
''The plain truth is that declined his
gift because the acceptance Of it would
have been so expensive. Give a man a
handsome pipe or cigar holder of meer-
schaum, and he Immediately sets ot1t to
color it. His smoking increases enor-
mously, and his outlay for tobacco or
cigars moves in the same direction. He
can't help it. The idea in his head is
that this particular pipe or cigar holder
is somewhat the finest thing of the kind
ever made and that it is his duty to
color it up to the artistic hue. In the
average case the smoker will consume
twice as much tobacco as he did before,
but in many instances the increase will be
threefold or more. The smoker may not
notice it at first, the meerschaum habit
is so seductive in its progress, but if
he buys his own cigars and keeps track
of his personal expenditures he will dis
cover it at the end of the month and be
amazed at it.
eff 1 had accepted the friendly tobac-
conist's pretty cigar holder, it would
have resulted-for some time at least
in my smoking about twice as much as l
usually do, for, like other meerschaum
cranks, should have felt bound to color
the thing. That would have meant an
increase of 100 per cent in my cigar bill,
which is something like $500 year. The
meerschaum craze is mild type of in
sanity. 1 have tried it and know all
about it. The tobacconist who wants
to present you with fancy pipe or cigar
holder has designs on your nerves and
your wallet. He may DO the incest sort
of fellow, but doesn't the knowing sa-
loonist place dish of caviare and an
other of pretzels ON the free lunch coun-
ter to excite thirst among his patronsi
And does the crafty tobacconist scatter
meerschaum cigar holders among his
customers merely to benefit their healthf
New York Herald.