The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-09-24

y
medateIy underneath that poht'c' -,
pirant, II wouldn't have SURPRISED nm
more. He stared at the scribe wiz" -
bewilderment for n moment, thei. IouIA
an excuse to sneak of to the heAe tSo -
| The knight Of the quill laugnted heoi'
at the blunder but didn't have an oppol
tunity to promise his support In the hp-
preaching contest, for the canuluale
''never came back any more. rake wa ~
Ing. we candidates. just such riuieuiou'
mistakes are happening every uay' al
because the fellow so anxious for eiecuoh
over does the thing. and puts ms Ioot IN
it." while n trifie too previous IN MS plans
OF electioneering.
Did you ever have any dealings with
c,airvoyant? They are strange mortals.
They pretend TO be able to divine whether
or not you will be reconciled to your de-
ceased mother-in-law when you get 70
heaven. A few nights since i had the
opportunity OF demonstrating 10 my own
satisfaction that a certain ciairVoyaht
who had come to this city with the nlsn-
est recommendations was more or less
fake. She claimed to be n trance clair
voyant, and declared that she could reveal
every mystery. Her Endorsements ran
something like these: Removes all es-
arrangements, unites the separated, and
causes speedy marriages. She will not for
any price flatter you. She can be con-
suited on all affairs of love. courtship,
marriage, with description Of future com
panion. Her advice on breach OF promise
suits, contested wills and divorce pro-
ceedings are absolutely reliable. She tells
your entire life. past. present. and future
I'm Dead Trance She tells the name Of
your present husband, your next, IL you
fA hnN q n ~
tain Talisman, which is far iuckier than
a rabbit foot or a horseshoe. she peers
down the vistas Of the future, and gives
you a complete history OF your destiny all
In Dead lance"
Such were few Of her recommendations
But since she was the one woman who
would not for any price flatter you,
/ was anxious 10 make the lady's ac-
quaintance. Taking a friend one night,
| ambled down to her quarters on East
Main street, and half an hour later was
seated in n room with n dim light. The
rain battered on the window panes and
made things a trifle gloomy while the
woman went through with a number OF
mysterious manipsuation's such as
crossing herself. lighting a candle
sidewfse,and a few other exploits. the
meaning OF which I didn't get on TO"
Finally she placed me at a table around
which sat half a dozen OF her assistants.
A pretty young lady on either side made
matters somewhat interesting. and when
all was ready. the lights were extinguish-
ed
Now" said the chief clairvoyant.
Everybody touch fingers.
I needed no persuasion. In my younger
days was accustomed TO holding women's
fingers.
Whom do you wish to communicate
with in the other world?" asked the wo-
man.
my wife" said wondering II she had
forgiven me for that last jag / carried
very unsteadily.
A number Of queer sounds were made,
and after speaking at some length in a
sort OF Choctaw dialect, so far as l
could judge, the clairvoyant remarked:
Let everybody keep still for five minutes,
and the genteman's wife will commun-
nicate with him"
Her orders were strictly observed.
Not a murmur broke the dense silence
began to feel little uneasy. but deter
mined TO see the game out. Presently
soft arm stole around my neck. and a
still softer voice whispered; Fuller, am
here. DO you, know my voice?'
IL might have been a spirit Tor auSat
I knew | resolved, however, 10 investig-
ate. with a desperate grip L clutched
the arm, and held on tight. The alleged
spirit struggled with the power OF fe-
male pugiist, and began TO wonder why
It was that my wife had lost none OF
her original muscular energy since her
soiourn in the other world. The recollec-
ton OF the manner in which she formerly
pounded me over the head with a broom
stick when / came home at a. Nj. slight
y unable to maintain my physical equ1nD-
vium all came back wildly 10 me. by
an almost superhuman effort 1 secured a
match from my vest pocket and nnally
managed to ignite the Lucifer. would
you believe it. the arm 1 stiii ciutehed
was none other than that or the woman
who sat Immediately on my left she
blushed, looked cheap. AMI then sneaked
out OF the room, while l thought to my
self she was a rather substantial looking
spirit.
This experience removed what little
| faith / had In claivoyaney. IL man is
so unfortunate when ne dies as 10 be as
signed quarters in that Great Torrid
Cline, he can't come back II he wants
TO. while the lucky one who is reg estered
I'm Paradise doesn't want TO come back II
| he can. The consequence is that the aver
age so called ghost when properly invesu-
gated, turns ou1to be nothing more than
the blazed face OF q bovine peering throuhg
| the darkness, or something about us
| equivalent
| When a married woman Of thirty sum-
/ mers is really innocent, she Is one Of the
| most innocent mOrtals on earth. Indeed,
| her innocence is down right amusing, for
she can't help letting everybody In the
| neighborhood see Il. Twas at the Acade-
! my a few nights since. and the orchestra
/ was rendering with a deal Of skill most
| comical selection entitled 1.-THE Village
| Orchestra" For the benefit Of those who
| have missed this treat, the piece is an
| excellent imitation OF the work OF a new
/ ly equipped musical organization such
/ as one would be likely 20 find al MidlO-
| THAN, or Ashcake. IL includes 1.-THE Girl
| | left Behind Me-" annie Laurie" and a
| few other familiar snatches executed with
| an off note about every second or third
| bar. The orchestra was rendering this Cd
| d.ty with much SKIN. and the man with
| the big horn blew his instrument as
| though he had been born with a horn In
/ his mouth. Next 10 me sat matron OF
| some eight years married experience.
| She couldn't for the life OF her imagine
| wha4 the people were laughing at. a hor-
| rible schreechy discord would produce an
| outburst OF laughter from the entire au-
| dience. and the poor innocent woman sat
/ as serene as May morning, gazing about
| with the blandest expression, and won
| dering IL everybody had gone crazy. She