The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-08-19
ONE Of YouHe Ton eoRwIH's FRANKS,
How He Rid His Sister Of the Atten.
lions Of an Obnoxious Suitor.

- L
Among the many interesting things
that were printed in the Louisville Jour-
nal of Monday, July II, 1885, is the fol-
lowing amusing story, in which the fam
Gus Tom Corwin figured. Every one has
heard of the eloquent, pathetic and hu-
morous stump orator of Chic. He was
pronounced by Henry Clay-a most com
petent authority-to be the finest stump
speaker he had ever heard. He carried
his love of fun into every department OF
life. In the private circle, where he
knew every person, and where he unbos-
omed himself fully, he was a most delight
full converstaionaIist.
II do not know says writer IN the
old Lou sville Journal Of the date above
referred to, ''that he now, as age and IN
trmities are creeping on. INDUCES IN the0
humorous proclivities so much as he used
to do, but some twenty years ago he used
to tell with great gusto the following
story
".In early life-so early that l cannot
remember the rcmoval-my father pulled
up stakes and, carrying with him the
household goods, went from Bourbon
county, KY, where l was born, to Ohio.
Notwithstanding rough and tumble
struggle with the world, had hard time
to get on. owing to q numerous and rap
idly increasing family. Well, family
matters had not much improved when l
reached my thirteenth or fourteenth year.
"'At this time there lived in the neigh
borhood a young man named Pickering.
He had inherited we'll stocked farm,
was good looking and made strong pro-
fession of religion. This latter quali6ca
ton caused him to find peculiar favor in
the eyes of my father, who always was
blinded by professions Of extra piety.
"'This fellow had strong hankering
after one of my sisters, who was very
pretty girl. To her he was peculiarly
ulSldSlClui. CIC oCCulCd al duuOyCO
at his presence. Yet he was ever at her
side. She dared not dismiss him entirely,
for fear Of the paternal anger. Things
went CD this way for a year or two, and
as l partook largely of my sisters hatred
of him, l resolved to get rid of him in
some way. cast about some time for
plan, but nothing gave me the slightest
hope of being successful.
"'At last, returning home late one sum-
mer night from the mill, l found the fam
lily at their nightly devotions. Passing
by the windows Of the rooms in which
they were assembled, saw that Picker
ing was there, and pretty soon discovered
that he was nodding, and finally his head
dropped. Now was my opportunity. l
stole slyly into the hall, and, reaching the
hall door, which was slightly ajar and
close by which Pickering was son Bonded
knee" I reached in and quickly pulling
his chair from under him, he rolled
heavily, as sound sleeper would, upon
the floor. The noise alarmed all. The
old gentleman stopped in the midst of
his almost interminable prayer and saw
the position of Pickering. All the family
laughed outright; even my mother smiled
pickering endeavored to pick him
self up as rapidly as possible, but he had
touched the old man upon his tender
point. 1t was evident, from his rubbing
his eyes, that he had slept under the old
gentleman's mlnistrations; and had not
my father reputation far and wide for
the strength and fervency of his mlnistra-
ticns, and was not Pickering his profess
ing brother9 Slowly, yet most dignif-
eddy, did the old gentleman approach him
..'Begone, hypocrite!" he cried in thunder.
ing tones. Never enter my house again y
pickering was thunder struck. He
felt that he could make no apology which
would not add to the insult. He had no
suspicion of the extra force which had
aided him in his fall. He at once found
his hat, took up his line of march, and.
completely crestfallen, passed by me as l
stood in the shadow of the porch.
"'At suitable time l entered and got
my supper, was told by my brother in
hurried whispers what had happened
and then stole off to bed, affecting To-
n1orance and laughing most heartily, as l
ensconced myself between the sheets. at
the complete success of my plan. Next
uay cautiously impaired nv secret to
my sister. She was in her own room at
the time and threw herself upon the bed
and rolled in agonies and commissions Of
laughter. She had been emancipated
forever from an obnoxious lover. The
old gentleman did not hear the real state
OF the facts for fully twenty years, but
when he did he laughed heartily, p
Courier-J Journal.
The Development OF Slang.