The Portland daily press., 1893-11-28
WEDDING ETIQUETTE.
CeremOniaIs for Which the Brides
Parents Settle.

The Groom Occupies Subordinate Posi-
tom Tho Designing and Sending of
Cards and Their Shades of lIeaning--A
Beautiful end Expensive Certificate.
Now, the Ten Commandments delivered
unto Moses ON Mount Sinai and inscribed
upon two tables Of stone are not more
fixed and unalterable than is the deca-
logue of fashionable wedding Year 1T
er year the same customs maintain, fixed
according to the patterns laid down by
the formula followed at English wed
dings. Year after year they are pub
lished. Yet every bride in the freshness
Of her new experience finds herself con-
fronted with problems in conventionality
with which she feels unable to struggle
alone. The consequence is that no tan
swers to correspondence" are SO oft repeated
and reiterated as those relating to the law
and gospel of the wedding.
First, there is the stationery. The an
swer to who pays for the wedding
cards. ought to be kept constantly in
type ready for usa. Anybody may pay for
them except the bridegroom, but the
brides father or mother usually receives
the receipt for the bill at well regulated
weddings Wedding cards and wedding
stationery should be pure white, without
glaze and with no attempt at ornamental
ton. The form Of the invitation engraved
thereon in simple script is:
Mr.. and Mrs. Robinson Smith-Jones
Request the pleasure of yourscompany
at the marriage of their daughter
Genevieve
Mr. Vandyke Brown
on Thursday, June 49, at II o'clock,
st. Grace's Church.
This invitation, engraved on folded
sheet, is put in an envelope, together with
. small card to be presented at the church
door and larger card, which reads:
Reception Tor BreakfasD
at rs State Street at One.
The envelope may contain the CAT
Home cards of the newly welded pair,
but it must of necessity bear only the date
and residence with no names, as the we'd
ding invitations are sent out before the
bride has any legal right to use her hus-
bands name.
By punctilious people this at home card
is not inclosed with the others, but an
uOuICc1lCAt CdIQS t1I0 SOAu Oub tbLUCI OAC
wedding. In most cases these cards are
ordered with the wedding cards, and the
BRIDES mother pays for them. The bride
groom doesn't count for much in the prep
aration for wedding. About all he is
allowed to do is to engage most of the
young woman's spare time, to ALLEVIATE
her from her friends by not giving her an
opportunity to call on them or them an
L.. L
presence. He is allowed to suggest the
names of his friends and relatives to be
invited to the ceremony-the BRIDES
mother invites them. He is also permitted
to pay for the carriage in which he and
his best nan make their way to the
church. He plays an humble part in the
wedding ceremony in plain and formal
morning dress, a black frock coat and
trousers of any pattern he pleases at a
morning wedding, or is attired precisely
like the serving men at an evening we'd
ding. He, or his best man for him, fees
the minister. He may also call ON the
clergyman to secure his services, see the
organist and make such arrangements as
the bride suggests, but all expense, except
ing the fee of the clergyman, he is prohib-
tied from paying. He may buy the we'd
ding ring, the bridal gift for his consort,
remembrance for the ushers and brides
maids, and flowers for them all if he
chooses.
One pretty new custom, or, rather, an
old one revived, has been introduced in
the modern wedding, copied from the Eng
lish idea of signing the wedding register,
which is rarely done in this country. A
beautifully illuminated and engrossed
marriage certificate is ordered by the con-
tracing parties, which consists of large
folio Of vellum, white or as near white as
it can be prepared. On the outer page is
engrossed the regular form of the mar
rage certificate in delicately painted let
tiers, set in scrolls of orange blossoms
and forgetmenots and true lovers knots.
The letters are in silver or gold. On the
inner page is space for the registry of the
names of the guests assembled at the we'd
ding. This certificate is bound in vellum
or white velvet, ornamented with solid
silver corners and scrolls, or it is rolled
on solid silver roller, to which it is at
tached, and inclosed in solid silver case,
richly chased and ornamented. The cheap
est of these engrossed certificates costs
bridegroom from S25 to $50. The more
elaborate ones often amount to 500, or
even $3.50, while the case Will approximate
$50 or SIS. Occasionally the engrossed GER
tifcate is framed in a narrow silver frame;
but that is for the sake of preservation
only, for the marriage certificate is not now
considered an appropriate picture for hang
ing on the wall.
Every friend and acquaintance whose
acquaintance is desirable is invited to the
church wedding. 1t is perfectly proper
to omit their names from the list of recep-
tion guests. II the circle of friends be too
large, announcement cards may be sent to
those not invited to the wedding. People
who are invited to wedding send cards
to the house if they cannot attend, and
either send or leave them within 10 days
after the wedding. These cards should
be sent to the mother Of the bride. The
wedding guests should call on the bride
herself at her first at home day and are