The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-01-25
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

It rather puts a belle on her mettle
when she is extoled.
Lantern-jawed people can't always
throw light on a bject.-Sparks.
The man that is buried in debt should
of course wear grave clothes Chicago
Inter Ocean.
There are men such sticklers for the
truth that they never indulge in self
denial.-Boston Transcript.
"Here's another case of kid mapping"
said the messenger boy who found n
comrade asleep. Washington Star.
al hear you didn't catch any fish, NJ 50
Emerson, yesterday" "No, Mr..
Bleecker, they did not seem to be con-
tagious. Town Topics.
Dashaway-"What do you think of
my new pepper-and-salt suitl" Jagway
-''It makes me thirsty to look at it,"
--Clothier and Furnisher.
The speed of railway trains is better
brought to point where even people on
bridal tours regard the tunnel as nuis-
ance.-Washington Star.
"The survival of the flttest,"
Is "a phrase that's rather rude.
II suggests that the chrysanthe-
Mum will one day wear the du le.
Washington Star.
Caller-"What are you looking
through that big pile of comic papers
forl" Exchange Editor with sigh of
lsappointmenD D-"For fun. Chicago
Tribune.
Publisher-'Is your novel realisticl"
Author-"It is. The hero and the
heroine get married in the first chapter
and are happy ever afterward. New
York Herald.
"SaY, Job, hsvo just patented a new
invention" "What is itm ga chair
that will sink to within a few inches of
the floor when woman who wears a tall
hat sits upon it,
Tailor--"Is the Ladies' Sewing So
ciety doing its usual kind of workl"
Hostess -"Indeed. One-half the men,
bers are no on speaking terms with the
other half ow."-Chicago Intsr-Ocean.
"These are hard times, sighed the
young collector of bills. EVERY place
1 went to-day l was requested to call
again but one, and that was WHEN l
dropped in to see my girl. Texas
Siftings.
His Parting Shot: He-''But
couldn't you learn to love me, Idai"
She-'T don't think l could. George"
He (reaching for his haD-'It is as
feared You are too old to learnl"-
Chicago Tribune.
Murray Brown-"Aren't you posi-
lively ashamed to meet your creditors,
Madison3 Madison Gall--"I don't
meet them. Do you suppose would
associate with such people "-Kate
Fields Washington.
Mabel 90 Frank, who has had to take
Miss Weighty for a Iow)-"Well,
Frank, how did you like herl' Frank
(wearil) - al wasn't particularly
pleased, but she made a great impression
on the water. Harvard Lampoon.
Mr.. Bronson-"Did you have an in
teresting subject presented for your con-
siderati0n this morning at churchf"
Mrs. Bronson-"Very. But 1 couldn't
make out whether the lace trimmings
were real or imitation. Chicago
News.
A dilapidated.looking individual who
was among the unfortunates at the Cen
tral Police Court yesterday, when asked
by the Judge what he was, replied:
"Well, yer Honor, I'm a gentleman,
but I'm not workin' at it now. ."-Pnils-
delphia Record.
Madge-"Poor Mr.. Bentley was just
taken home ir a caIriagei he had a
dreadful shock" Arthur-"What was
it3" Madge-"His wife made au ap-
pointmeut to meet him at certrin hour.
and she was there right on the min Ite."
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Dell-"Come on aud well have a real
good old-iashioned dinner after our
shopping trip" Nell-"Yes; = sub
stantal meal rests me So" Dell
"Waiter, bring plate OF macaroons and
some very sour pickles, and--let me
see--yes, a pound of caramels. Inter
Ocean.
What simple people there are in the
world, to be sure There are the Plane
leys, for example. They went into an
auction room the other day and sat
spelIbouud for two hours. They thought
il was an elocutiouary entertainment,
and they allowed it was the hest they
had ever heard, aud they had listened
70 some of the best elooutionists in the
eity,-Bostoa Transcript