The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-04-23
THE COLLABO-
RATED NOVEL.

gay. Turning the dog's-eared leaves of
the dilapidated diary that lies before me. l
find tho records of our later gatherings
confused and incomplete. For weeks
there does not appear single word. Then
comes an alarmingly business-like minute
of a meeting at which there were
present: Jepsop, MacShaugnassy,
Brown and Self" and at which the PRO
ceedings commenced at $50" at what
time the proceedings" terminated and
what business was done, the chronicle,
however, sayeth not; though. family pen
ciled in the margin Of the page. trace
these hierogiyphics: "3149-26'7. bring
ing out result Of 1882" Evidently an
unremunerative night.
On September ID We seem to have be-
come suddenly imbued with energy to q
quite remarkable degree, for l read that
We resolved to start for the first chapter
at once"-''at once" being underlined.
After this squirt we rested until
October 4. when we discussed whether
it should be . novel of plot or
Of character, without--so far as the diary
affords Notwithstanding at any definite
decision. I observed that on the same
day, MAC told . story about . man who
accidently bought . camel at . sale. J"
Details OF the story are, however, want
ing, which, perhaps, is fortunate for the
reader.
On the 18th we were still debating the
character Of our hero; and l see that 1
suggested "a man Of the Charley Boswell
type"
Poor Charley, wonder what could have
made me think of him in connection with
his invahlnDnoa Il
tainly not his heroic qualities. l can
boyish face). the tears streaming down as
he sat in the schoolyard beside a bucket,
n which he was drowning three white
mice and tame rat. sat down opposite
and cried, too, while helping HIM to hold a
saucepan lid over the poor little creatures.
and thus there sprang up a friendship be.
tween US. which grew.
Over the grave OF these murdered ro-
dents he took a solemn oath never to
break school rules again, by keeping
either white mice or tame rats. but to
devote the whole o. his energies for the
future to pleasing his masters, and afford
ing his parents some satisfaction for the
money being spent upon his education.
Seven weeks later the prevalence
throughout the dormitory OF an atmo-
spheric effect moro curious than pleasing
led to the discovery that he had con-
verified his box into rabbit hutch. Con.
fronted with eleven kicking witnesses,
and reminded Of his former promises, he
explained that rabbits were not mice, and
seemed to consider that a new and vexa.
tious regulation had been sprung upon
him. The rabbits were confiscated. What
was their ultimate fate We never knew
with certainty. but three days later we
were given rabbit pie for dinner. To COM
fort him l endeavored to assure him that
these could not be his rabbits. He, how
ever, convinced that they were, cried
steadily into his plate all the time that he
was eating them, and afterward, in the
playground, had stand-up fight with a
fourth-form boy who had requested q
second helping.
That evening he performed another SOL
emn oath taking. and for the next month
was the model boy OF the school. He read
tracts, sent his spare pocket money to as
sist in annoying the heather and sub
scribed to the Young Christian and the
Weekly Rambler. an Evangelical 0iscet-
lang. whatever that may mean. An
undiluted course of this pernicious lit
erature naturally created in him a de-
sire toward the opposite extreme. He
suddenly dropped the Young Christian and
the Weekly Rambler and purchased penny
dreadfuls: and, taking no further interest
in the welfare of the heather, saved. up
and bought = second hand revolver and
100 cartridges. His ambition, he confided
TO me, Was to become dead shot," and
the marvel Is that he did not succeed.
OF course there followed the usual dis
covery and consequent trouble. the usual
repentance and reformation. the usual de-
termination 10 start a new life.
Poor follow he lived "Startlnr a new
life" Every New Years day he would
start new iife-on his birthday-on other
peoples birthdays. i fancy that. later on,
when he came To know their importance,
be extended the principle to quarter days.
'sTidying up aud starting airesh," he al.
ways called 1t.
think as young man he was better
than most of us. But he lacked that great
gift which is the distinguishing feature Of
the Engiish-speakIng race all the world
over, the gift OF hypocrisy. He seemed
incapable OF dong the slightest thing
without getting found out A grave mis-
fortune for = man to suffer from, this
Dear simple hearted fellow, II never oc-
CURED 10 him that no was as other men
with, perhaps, 4 dash of straightforward
ness added; he regarded himself as mon
ster of depravity. One evening | found
HIM in his chambers engaged upon his
Sisyphean labor OF ''tidying up" A bean
OF letters, photographs and bills lay be.
fore him. lie vas tearing them up and
throwing them into the FIRE.
came towards him. but he stopped me.
"Don't come near me-" he cried. lion I
touch me. I'm not TIT 10 shake hands
with decent man.
TWAS the sort OF speech 10 make one
feel hot and uncomfortable. | did no,
know what 10 answer. and murmure,.
something about his being no worse than
the average.
Don't talk like that" he answered. e1.
citedly: ''you say that 20 comfort me.
know; but | don't like 70 hear H. Ii
thought other men were like me should
be ashamed of being man. I've been i
black guard, old fellow. but please God. it
not too late. Tomorrow morning | begin
q new life"
He finished his work of destruction and
then rang the bell and sent his man down
stairs for bottle OF champagne.
MY last drink" he said. as we clicked
glasses. Here's TO the Old Lille out and
the new lie IN"
lie took sip and flung the glass with
the remainder into the FIRE. lie Was a.
ways little theatrical, especially when
most in earnes.
Fer long " bile after that saw nothing
Of him. Taen. one evening. sitting down
10 SUPPER at q restaurant l noticed him
opposite - me IN company that could
hardly be called doubtful.
He flushed aud came over TO me. i've
been an old woman tor nearly SIX
months" he said. with laugh. Il find /
cant stand IL any longer"
After all he continued, "wha, Is life
hnt 10 1--we? It's only hypoeritical TO
try snd 0c thjng We are not And do
Won know he leant across the table
/. ~ shA-,