Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1893-12-14
A REMARKABLE PRAYER.
COLORADO DEMOCRAT OFFERS A
MOCK PETITION TO cLEVE-
LAND

The following prayer by a Democrat
to Cleveland, was clipped from
last Thursdays Chicago Inter Ocean.
By request of several HERALD readers
we publish it this week. Ii is unique in
its way, and has probably proved very
satisfying to his inordinate vanity. Ii
will be seen that it originated in a
Democratic convention in Colorado:
Previous to the close of the Demo-
cratic county convention last Tuesday
Edward Croke, Mayor OF Irwin, arose,
and all the delegates reverently bowed
their heads while he offered prayer to
Almighty Cleveland. The voice was
filled with emotion, and the reporter
found it difficult to get every word. but
here it is:
''Oh, almighty and all-powerful Cleve-
land, who art in Washington, when not
fishing; thou who art the father of Ruth
and Ruth's sister. and the godfather of
the Democratic party OTIS father
wouldn't own it if he were here), we
hail thy name as the great political
prophet of the country. We bow down
before thee IN humble political obedi-
ence. When thou sayest 20, we go;
when thou sayest come, we come. We
have no desire but to serve thee. If
thou sayest black is white we will swear
to il and lick the eYerastin' stuffin' out
OF The man who disputes il. When thou
takest snuff we will sneeze; when thou
sayest tree silver we will echo thy words;
when thou sayest gold then gold it is.
We are Democrats after the improved
modern type. Our business is to vote
the ticket and vote 'er straight. What
is it to us whether we have free silver
or not? We are but dogs that eat of
the crumbs that fall from our masters
tables. When the crumbs fall we wag
our tails; when they fall fast we wag
faster; when they don't fall we stand
and wait until they do. This is Demo.
crazy. This is the kind Of Democracy
which elected thee, our great and al
mighty Cleveland. Or, most adored
master, we love thee for what thou hast
not done for us. We love thee because
thou art Cleveland. We humbly sur
render ourselves to thee Do with us
as thou wilt. Though wheat is but 40
cents a bushel We love thee; though
cotton is low we love thee; though bust
ness is dull we love thee; though thou
sands, millions are out of employment
we loYe thee; though our children are
clothed in rags we love thee; though
our wife, the dear companion of our
bosom, is scantily dressed and looks so
shabby sac can't 60 to church, we love
thee; though we are sinking deeper in
debt aud poverty is knocking at the
door, and hunger is staring us in the
face, we love thee still. This shows our
great faith and love for thee. Our wives
and children we are willing to sacrifice,
even as the Hindoo mother sacrifices her
by throwing it under the crush
ing wheels of the iuggernaut Or,
mighty Cleveland, words cannot ex-
press our love for thee. We love our
party too What care we about tho
many promises it made2 We know it
promised free silver, and we know it
won give it to us, but we will stick to
the party. We know we said if it did
no. do the things it promised to do we
would leave it, but we lied when we
said It. We thought then we had some
manhood about us, but we amt. We
have no independence. Thou, oh
mighty Cleveland, hast all the manhood
and independence in the party. We
are fools, liars, lickspittles, mudsills.
We have no business to want anything
or say any thing. Last year we favored
free silver, and now we have to oppose.
We favored it then because we thought
IT was right. We oppose it now, most
adored master, because thou tellest us
to. Ain we honey of the first water?
Did ever dog serve his master more
Did ever dog get less for it ?
Oh, mighty master, we are ever ready
10 serve thee and party. All the pay
we ask is to be patted on the back by
some local politician and called a good
Democrat. We amt got any sense.
We don't want any, only enough to vote
the ticket. 1t don't take any sense to
DO good democrat What a joyful
thought! We don't have to think, we
don't have to worry. Our work is all
mapped out for Us, All that is expect
ed Is % do what we are told to do. We
thank thee oh Cleveland. that we are
Democrats We thank thee for the
panic We thank thee for the hungry
and idle men and women in the land.
We thank thee for low prices; we thank
thee for tho banks that haye busted and
the thousands of business failures
since thou hast come into power We
thank thee tor the hard times; we thank
thee for the rags our children wear;
we thank thee for the clothes our wife
needs and can't get we thank thee for
what thou hast done for the banker and
what thou hast not done for the people.
We thank thee for all these things be-
cause it is our duty as a good democrat
to do so. 1t may be against the grain
but we will take our medicine. We
will work our wives to death, starve our
sacrifice our homes, cruelty
liberty, and kill prosperity. but will
never so back on our dear old party,
and on thee, our most adored Cleve-
land, Thou art more account than all of
us put together Thou knowest more
than the South and West. Call us
fools; spit in our faces; wipe Your feet