Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1893-03-30

THE valet OF death-The under
taker. brakes Magazine.
JUST now 1t lisa sole-leather trust
that is on foot. --Rochester Post.
If you want to know woman's
faults, ask her dearest female friend.
my wife," said Squills, proudly,
ais queen OF the tea-table. and she
never rcigns but she pours-
,@OH, dear" whimpered little Bill
leboy, looking out at the storm. "this
is very weathery winter Boston
| Herald.
sWHAT are you wearing glasses for?"
"Hor my eyes, stupid. .S'pose Pm
wearing them for corns?" brakes
Magazine.
THE widow-Dld you marry in
haste and repent at leisure' The
divorcee-Not much. We married
leisure and epented in haste. Truth.
WIewAs-Buzzletop's queer chap.
Blobbs-How so? Wigwag-He got
hot last night when his cook let the
furnace fire go out.-Philadelphia
| Record
WATTs-What is the matter with
Thompson? He has got so hesstam-
mers all the time. Potts HIS wire
made him stop swearing. -Indianap-
oils Journal
A MAINE man will send to Chicago
spar sixty feet in length and with
| out bend or crook in Ii. 1t would
make fir straight fagstaff.-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Il
KENTUCKY seems to have the lions
share OF the patronage so far She
has furnished the Secretary Of the
Treasury and the White House cook.
] Boston Herald.
| IMMIGRANT inspector-You ma
tionality, please. Immigrant-Oirish.
Immigrant nspector-What is your
occupation? Immigrant - Oi'm
Frinch nurse.-Puck.
WAS Rome founded by RQmeo?"
inquired a pupil Of the teacher. mo,
my son." replied the wise man; 1T
was Juliet who was found dead by
Romeo brakes Magazine.
HUSBAND pity the poor milk
man this morning; he looks awfully
discouraged since these inspectors
were appointed. Wife-Yes, but the
milk doesn't look quite so blue. In
ter Ocean.
THE Idaho Senator who accom-
panied charges against fellow-mem-
Der by bottle OF mucilage, which he
threw at the latter's head, evidently
wanted his charges to stick.-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
IL HAVE good news for you. cousin
Emily. My uncle has Just settled all
my obligations" as that so? Then
he must have married all the girls to
whom you have engaged yourself -
Fliegende Blaetter.
MERCHANT Catching his clerk max
ing love to his daughter during bust
ness hours)-Why, Herr Mueller,
what is this? De / pay you salary
: for this kind of work? Clerk-No;
/ do it gratis.-Ulk. I.
RUTH-@No girl could have refused
him If he had proposed to her as
sweetly as he proposed to me-" Ma
bcl-"But you must remember, dear,
that he has had great deal OF expe-
rience. "-Harper's Bazaar
The New York Sun reports that
old Diogenes lately returned to the
earth with a la.tern to repeat the
looking-f for AN honest man act, but
was seen. two hours later cunning fol
the scOundrel who stole my lantern.
Mr.. LEGAL GABBY-If your neigh
boris dog Injuries one of your chick
ems you can collect damages, but II
he Injuries one. of your children you
cannot. What is the moral OF that:
Friend-Raise chickens. -Texas Stiff
ings. ~,
THE janitor of one of the Portland
e public schools, coming into the class
Ie room one day recently saw on thu
d black board this sentepce: Find thu
Is greatest common divfsokp @Hullo,
D. said he, ais that burned thing los
acknowledgements Journal.
II UNDERSTAND young Briehess |
about to marry the daughter of oil
y. = Bonds, the millionaire. "Yes, so
y am told" "Will he give up the Law
~ business?" "Yes; he will give up tn
~ law business and go into the son-in
\, law business. Texas Siftings.
IA az MADE an angel cake that wa
u elegant and one that was awful,
10 said Maud. This is the third, and |
90 will decide whether or not / can b
~ considered an expert" -lcould tel
= this was the rubber" said Harry, a
AZ he tried the 7Harparis Bazai
as Do YOU take ths. Texas Agricult
an Irist?n Il used to, but. | don't an
he more. The editor insulted me.
OF Really In what way?" The othe
IS day L called on him and asked hi
opinion as to the best way Of raisin
hogs, and he told me to pull mysel
nd I'M with a derrick. Texas Sitting:
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