The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1893-03-09
PARADISE FOUND.
A Parody. Delivered Before the Phiih ar
monte Literal. of the X. W. a.
by a. 4. MeKeeyer.
Published by Permisslon.

Published by Permission.
Years ago when | first heard that
there was, snme wher. In the bleak
regions OF the vest, a stream OF wa
ter known a. the Smoky Hill river,
[ became satisfied that the building
Of great college in that barren re-
gious was essential to the happiness
and prosperity of the American peo-
pie, 10 not absolutely indispensable
to the perpetui,y Of republican in
situations on this continent. / felt
iastinetively that the bouBdless re-
sources of that prolific region, OF
sand and wild cactus, and the pro-
digious intellectual powers of the
natives, would never be fully deyel
oped without q large aud extensive
university, and perhaps not then. i
had an abiding preseDIiment that.
some day or other, the people Of this
whole country, irrespective Of party
affiliations, regardless of sectional
differences, and without distinction
OF race, color, or previous condition
of servitude, would rise in their ma
jesty and demand a great university
in those vast and fertile sand bar
rens, drained 10y the surging waters
Of the turbid smoky Hill. But
where should such an institution be
located?
Salina, The word fell upon my
ear with peculiar and Understandable
charm; like the gentle murmur of q
low fountain, stealing forth in the
midst OF roses; or the soft, sweet ac-
cents of al angels whisper in the
bright, joyous dream at sleeping in
nocence. SaIina! Twas the name
for which my soul had painted for
years as the hart panteth for the
water-brooks.
But where was Salina? Never, in
all my limited reading, had my Wis.,
ion been gladdened by seeing the
celestial word in print. And | felt
q profound humiliation i'm my ignor-
ance, that its dulcet syllables had
never before ravished my delighted
ear. asked my friends about it,
but they knew nothing Of it, rushed
to the library and examined all the
maps / could ind; but nowhere
could / find Salina. Nevertheless, /
was confident that il existed some
where, and that its discovery would
constitute the browning glory of the
present century, il not all modern
times. knew il WAS bound to ex-
ist in the very nature of thing that
the symmetry and perfection Of the
planetary system would be incom-
plete without it; that the elements
of material nature would since have
resolved themselves back into origi-
nal chaos, had there been such a
hiatus in creation as would have re-
suited from leaving out Salina. In
fact, ladies aud gentlemen, l was
overwhelmed by the conviction
that Salina not only EXISTED some
where but that, wherever it was, it
was a great and glorious place. |
was convinced that the greatest Gala
nifty that ever befell the benighted
nations of the ancient world, was in
their having passed away without
knowledge of the actual existence
of Salina; that their tabled Atlantis
which was never seen save i'm the
hallowed vision of an inspired pOesy,
was another name for Salina; that
the golden Orchard of Hesperides
was but poetical synonym for the
paper-mill at Salina. | was certain
that Herodtus had died miserable
death, because i'm all his travel, he
had never heard OF Salina. knew
that If the immortal spirit of Homer
could lock down from another heav-
en- than that created by his own
celestial genius, upon the long lines
of pilgrims from every nation of the
earth, to the gushing fountain Of
poesy opened by the touch of his
magic wand-if he could be permit
ted to behold the vast assemblage Il
grand and glorious productions of