The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-01-04
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A soft answer will kill where o club
would fsil.-Ram's Horn.
There are men who tire themselves al
most to death looking for an easy place.
Rams Horn.
It isn't the "flighty" poet who is re-
sponsible for all the fugitive verses. -
Boston Courier.
The humorists of this country seem to
have made butt of the goat.-Phila-
delphis Record.
Broom-"So you are on your wedding
tour, eh9" Groom (sadly)-''No; Ice
ture tourl"-Truth.
In his moments of abstraction even
the pickpocket thinks time is money
Philadelphia Times.
Tne trouble Is that you never know
when you've got enough until you've
got too much.-Puck.
People who are always looking for
trouble generally run when it looks for
them. milwaukee, journal.
A man who lives fast cannot expect
that enjoyment will keep up witt, him.
--Binghamton Republican.
Coasting is very excellent sport, but,
like some other amnsements, it has its
drawbacks. -Somerville Journal.
Gay-"The Widow Weed wears very
heavy mourning" Day-''Yes; but she
doesn't feel as black as she is dressed"
Puck.
Al sorts of vexations attend the par
lor matrimonial match. Even the lamp
IS frequently put out over it. it.--Bingham-
ton Leader.
There are some men who cant take
home beefsteak without believing they
are taking their wife present.-At
Gibson Globe.
More people with patent leather shoes
on borrow money they never pay back
than men who wear shoes that arc
patched. Globe.
The next thing long suffering public
learns will be the fact that gas compan-
les aie putting pneumatic tires OH their
gas meters. State Journal.
Man goes to law to get his right,
(Of common sense bereft1
Ignoring that in such fight
All others have got left.
Boston Transcript.
"What coat of arms is that on the
panel of your carriageT "Give it up.
Had to have it stuck on before we could
engage footman. New York Her
aid.
Men are a good deal better collec.
lively than they are individually. Many
man will do that privately which he
will denounce IN crowd. .---Atchison
Globe.
AS a rule, a man who has mustache
he can twist, or wbislxers he eau stroke,
is three times as long making up his
mind rs one who hasn't. --Atchison
Globe.
Appearances Not Deceptive. Priscil.
la-"When Charlie proposed TO me the
poor fellow did look so silly" Prun-
ella--"Well, no wonde er. New York
Herald.
There's plenty Q: pom at the top, but
you shouldn't tell an ambitious artist so
just as he is on the point of sending his
picture TO The exhibition. .-Somerville
Journal.
Mr.. Newton the stage they always
have such dolt, woodeny actors to rep
resent dukes and kings" Mr.. Know
"Yes; that's so to have them true to
life. Puck.
Boggs-"Helio there, Joggs, what
are you going to do with that keg of
powderl" Joggs-'I am going to try
to blow myself away from porous
plaster that is on my back. Harvard
Lampoon.
Admiring Neighbor-"Do you think
the pretty pet is going to be like his
father" Fond Mother-''I shouldn't
be at all surprised. He keeps me up
every night, as it is, and is fractions in
the morning"
Mr.. Bronson-"Did you have an in
teresting subject presented for your con.
sideration this morning at church. Mr..
Bronson--"Very. But couldn't make
out whether the lace trimmings were
real OF imitation.
New York Drummer-"How do YOU
account for the gradual decrease in time
between New York and Chicagol' Chi
caga Drummer (disdainfully) - "Chi-
cago, SIR, is rapidly growing iu an east
erly direction. ."-Jewelers' Weekly.
Professor Ito class in SURGERY --"The
right leg of the patient, as you see, is
shorter than the left, in consequence Of
which he limps. Now, what would you
do in a case of this kind?" Bright
student-"Limp, too."-Chicago News
Record.
Charles James Fox, when oanvassing
Westminster, applied TO shopkeeper
for his vote and interest. Tne man
produced halter, WITH which, he said,
he was ready to oblige him. "Thank
you" replied Fox, ''for your kind oiIer,
but should be sorry to deprive you Of
20 valuable family relic. n--Argonaut.