The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1893-09-19
ONE DAYS FISHING.

ing rod that gave him, and when got
into the cab blame me If he didn't have
trunk. Got my things in that, said
he, and may eternally fry if there
weren't things enough in that trunk to
stock pawnshop. By ged, he had every
thing from evening clothes to patent
bootjack But he hasn't them any more"
and the major chuckled.
"We started for Mud Run, out in
Pennsylvania. I'd never been there be-
fore, but man told me there was good
fishing there He was liar, by the way.
about the time we got started the
colonel wanted to smoke, and by the
hind hobs of Gehenna If he hadn't
packed all the cigars in that bloody
trunk. When l cussed, he tried to get
up in the baggage car and was nearly
killed Then he got some bad cigars
from the porter and growled for an hour
steady. Pretty soon he wanted drink,
and the whisky was in that COMPOUNDED
trunk.
1.-THE woman at the hotel where we got
out said it was too late to get anything
to eat, and the colonel got mad and
called me burbling chump for drag
cling him out into the wilderness.
when the boy walked us in the morn
ing, the colonel kicked becausehe had to
get up SO early. He had the deuce Of
time finding his things in that internal
trunk, and he kicked because l got i'm
patient.
'eThe woman at the hotel looked queer
when we got down. Going fishingY says
she. You'd better look out for the con-
stable It's against the law to fish round
here Sundays
''Then the colonel got suspicious and
said he didn't want to be locked up. l
got him into the wagon, and the driver
says; Better look out for the constable.
It's against the law to fish round here
Sundays
"'Say, says the colonel, Pm not going
to get locked up and bring eternal dis
grace upon my family choked him
off finally, and we started. Then we met
farmer, and he lowed that we'd get in
trouble if we fished on Sunday. The
driver grinned and the colonel, like the
eternal galoot he is, says, 4 told you So
It took me about 10 minutes to choke
him off, but he growled all the way to
the stream.
"Say," continued the major, "did you
ever see the colonel catch trout? No? Well,
neither did anybody else. He couldn't
catch trout in aweek of leap years. BY
ged, it was a sight to see him whip
the stream. 1t was like driving balky
mules over broken bridge. He banged
that river until half the fish in it were
scared to death, and guess he thought
he could catch trout by knocking them
stone dead with his rod. He lost about
two dozen flies trying to cast half the
length Of his rod, and then he got his
line all tangled up in the bushes. Did
YOU ever hear the colonel swear? Well.
hodcarriers and river pirates aren't in it
with the colonel Talk about breaking
the Sabbath Why, the colonel swore
enough to send an army to perdition for
eternity.
"While the colonel was cussing every
thing in sight the driver came tearing
down the road, waving his hands like a
windmill in full sail.
g 'Hip he yelled, the constable's COM
ing, and he's after you too. You'd bet
ter get. Cut up through the woods
there, and I'll meet you at the turn Of
the pike
1--WE didn't know where the turn Of
the pike was, but the colonel grabbed
me by the arm and hustled up into the
woods. When we got under cover, he
was steaming like soap factory and
cussing me too.
{" What in the name of thunder did
you ever bring me out here fors You
want to get me arrested, do your
81 was that speechless that | couldn't
answer. / just stood and looked at him.
Pretty soon l recovered.
Brought you out hereY said l. You
blooming blot Of idiocy, who brought
you out here2 You came yourself.
''Then the colonel got madden than
ever, and he wouldn't talk again. But
that was mercy.
ut was getting along toward dark
when we got to the hotel. The colonel
was prancing up to the front door when
the man who drove the team come out
of barn.
"'Hey,' says he, the constable's wait
ing for you fellows. He's over to the
hotel
"Maybe / and the colonel didn't run.
We just lit out and hung around in the
brush until it was plum dark. Then we
crawled back to the hotel, but the con-
stable was still sitting there.
"Then the colonel tried to make bolt
to the woods, and the constable saw him.
With whole pack in full cry after US,
the colonel and ran down the hill. !
guess we outdistanced the constable and
his crew. But after awhile they came
after us with lanterns, and we had to
run again. Up in the heavy brush they
lost us, and when we got our wind we
struck out for the railroad.
"The nearest station was 10 miles
away. and the colonel was nearly dead
before we got half way there. He sat
down on tie and swore that no YVES dv-
Ing. He was wet through and about
the most miserable man that ever cussed
streak of hard luck.
'The colonel got so bad that l got some
chips and started fire by the railroad
track. He lay down beside it and tried
to get dry He was just beginning to
grunt, when there was roar down the
I road, and the train came putting round
the curve.
1.-THE first thing the engineer saw /
guess was our fire, and then you should
have heard the racket. He just turned
NIL his steam into his old whistle and
footed like fend possessed. The train
came to standstill by our fire, and then
the conductor came racing up, swearing
awfully. / got out. The colonel ex-
postulated, but they were so mad they
were going to thrash him. l got on the
platform of the last car, and blow me II
they would let the colonel get on. He
prayed and pleaded, but the conductor
said no, and the train started with the
colonel doing more cussing.
"When the last car was abreast, how
ever, the colonel grabbed the hand bar
and hung on for his life. He took steps
about four yards long, and when the
train got going he just sailed out be-
hind. | yanked and pulled till Igot him
aboard. My, / thought he was going to
die. But he didn't After awhile he be-
gan swearing again, and then l felt re-
lieved.
after we had gone about 10 miles we
got up to get into the car. The colonel
went first, but he hadn't taken two steps
when he fell back with gasp.
".What's the natter says |.
"'MatterT says he. The constables
in that car
mAnd a,,ra ennnnh he WIS Then we