New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-12-17
THE TILR or THE DAY

a
had consented at the last moment to act as sub
stitute for the venerable who was accustomed
10 go to the Bridewell Sunday morning TO preach TO
the prisoners
'AIy friends" said the embarrassed young man,
as he rose up and faced the assembled toughs ana
Migrants. at rejoices my heart TO see so many OF
you here this morning..
Aunt MARYLAND how were the ladies' dressed
Carrie-why. Aunt I'm astonished Ladies are
gowned. not dressed. The word 'dressea rs only
used In good society In reference TO food.-tBoston
Transcript
Boss McKane has probably changed his opinion
as TO the locomotive power Of injunctons. Not only
do they "go" in Gravesend. but they make the
Boss go-to Jail
There was n very rich farmer who would never
own that he had anything to be thankful for IN
during g may fine harvest season: Come, Mr.. Jones.
have nothing to complain about ms veal
s.Stiil. you can't say what is amiss He thought
bit. and then replied. very grudgingy: , yos
see there will be no spoiled nay LOT the young
caves."-tTroy Times
At n prayer-meetlng in Indiana church the
other evening stranger offered the following pc
ttion: Lord. Thou knowest am stranger here.
Thou knowest do not live here but reside IN
nelghhoring town. Thou knowest ! have reiatves
in another town. whom l am on my way to see.
Lord. Thou knowest why / am here instead OK
there Thou knowest why can't get there. LORD
Thou knowest just what want. / want 10 cents
Amen" He got the 40 cents, and is now firm be-
lever In the efficacy OF prayer.
Not to BE Csught.-Mrs. Luneleigh shopping
with her husband).Oh, George look ners, pe,'t,
this showcase OF diamonds look perfectly oeauu'
Mr.. Lunelegh-Yes. love. 1t would be a shame
TO take anything away from H. "ouia"' ~
Chicago Record.
A Maine farmer who recently visited Boston teils
how he got the better OF the deadly trolley-car.
II stood" he says, right on the track when one
OF them dummed skypole cars came a-buzzns
along and thought I'd just see II they'd run
over me They hollered yelled for me to get on
the truck but didn't bulge an inch, for had az
much right there as they had and they just hauled
the thing up stock-st afore they got ter me. All
a mans got do Is to stand up FOR his rights
and them Boston feers dassnt run over him."
Advice.-T am a poet" said the young man reso-
INDEED replied the klnd-hearted. but absent
minded editor; nil, -. ,,,,,. ~.
pear. dear! NV good fellow ! wouldn't bother
about tr3 G 9Hs5 gsnd guilty anu TAKE NY
eft would be difficult" says 1.-THE st. Louis Re-
public" ito convince the average man that tr IS
a stronger wood than oak but such has been proven
by actual tests that made by a fair and i'm
partial committee appointed for that purpose inc
trnbers used each by inches, and rect
long both ends solhy braced. and the weight aP-
piled In the middle of the span. Yellow fir stood
a strain OF 3OG2 pounds common Oregon OAK 2s2
pounds. Fine-grained yellow fir from near the
butt stood a strain of 1896 pounds. and best Mchi-
gan oak snapped with a strain OF only 242s pounds
The tests were made by the Northern Pacific Rail-
way Company at Tacoma. Washington
In the Consulting observation-disclosures me,
which OF you gentlemen has been waiting 'ne
Tallor-I believe have. 1t is more than year
since you ordered suit of clothes and got It, but
you haven't paid me observation-disclosures
While Boss McKane is in JAIL it would be only
an act OF brotherly kindness for either Boss Nc
Laughln or Boss Croker to take his place as SUE
perintendent OF the Gravesend Sunday 1t 10
true they do not profess the same faith as the
Gravesend boss, but in works they are right with
him.
1t is often remarked that en- unaccustomed tray.
eyes and ears open A na,iye OF Ireland landed at
Greenock and wanted to take the train for Glas-
fore he did not know how to get his ticket, but he
saw a lady going in and determined to follow her
so@n T hns ass SAID ia Marsh
ticket was duly handed to her and she walked
s Shouted Pat RR Tae' Murphy ' @
Companion.
Talking Of a female acquaintance: Il think she's
the most demire creature ever saw" Telling
about a man who draws pension: Yes. he's .
pensloneer." Playing q game OF pool ana arrahs'
ing for the breaking Of the balls: I'VE will break
In rogation."
over the Observation-Disclosures dear! wish
men could talk something else but politics. Here's
another good writer gone OF on that dreary tarn
question.
Marguerlte-Who?
AngelIna-Mark Twain.
Marguerite-How perfectly distressing. Does %
advocate free protection, what?
Angelina don't know; but 1t Is an attack on
the Wilson bill Mr.. Wilson must be a Democrat
or an agnostc, something, to deserve such
names.
Marguerite Din a whisper)-what does Mr.. Twain
say about him?
Angelina doftily)-I have too much self-respect 20
read Ii. You fancy what perfectly dreadful
swear words must be in the article from Its dis
respectful title.
Marguerite-Tell me this minute; what Is the
title?
Observation-Disclosures Wilson"
MarGuerite-How terrible! Now the next thing
will be duel. and just know Mark Twain wu
be killed When win men ever learn to stop nght:
Ing and to stick to suhjacta that they know abousv
-(Chicago Journal