The herald., 1893-01-16

don't l tell you they never can't prove
it? Now you put piece in, putting me
right; dyer understand? If yer don't,
me and yer will have trouble right here,
now. See? Wo't dyer say? Get out
of here damned quick? Wot dyer
mean to insult me?"
De Jones -"Well, I've hardly got
time now to insult you properly and
completely as it ought to be done; but il
you'll be kind enough to shut your ugly
face for about two minutes. L'll give
| you the most artistic insult you ever
received; and if you make the slightest
| objection I'll blow off the top OF your
disreputsble head. Now git" And he
got.
A short time elapses when the door
opens and 0'Jaglets tumbles in the
room. He had been the police reporter
but too many treats had got away with
his sobriety and he had "fallen down"
literally and fguratively. He began :
"Shay DeJzhones len me 50. NJ hum
CRY, " won't? Well, make it So. Only
So. Awful hungry, ole fel. No? Well,
that's tough. Lenme four bits, won
zhue? Only four bits? Two bits? Dime
zhen. Say, De Jzhones, didn't thenk
you were sho blamed mean. Owe you
weeksh pay now? You're blooming liar
zhue? Shay, hole on. Whazzie doin' =?
Lemme lone. Don't shrow teller out
zhis way. Pm goin' don you shee
fasht's can. Yesh I'll hurry. Make it
nickel won sher, jes one beer. All
righz, don get eghzited. I'm goin'
righz way" and he went.
x*x
"Mr. De Jones? Yes? Allow me-"
and the next conner, tall man, clad
in rusty broadcloth and long hair and
bearing evidence of lack of use OF
water and soap, deposits a card on the
desk reading "Prof. Knowall Foolem."
"Of course Mr.. De Jones, you know
who 1 am. am the wonder of the CEN
tury; there is no mystery in hyponot'
ism, occultism, spiritualism and all the
other problems of the day but what |
have mastered. Here is short inter-
view with myself have prepared, which
you will print in the morning; you will
also send reporter to my lecture on
Tuesday evening and print it in full;
it will be very valuable matter for you.
Send me about 20 papers containing
the interview tomorrow to my hotel.
l was once newspaper man, go you
will do this out of fraternal feeling of
course. Here's ticket to my lecture.
Come around and hear it, won't you?
Don't cut anything out of that inter
view; it's fine stuff" and out he goes.
XIX
Mr.. Smooth Voice then softly enters
with mysterious emile on his face.
He is an irrepressible cuss, with
mania for telling what he does not
know to reporters. ''Say, De Jones,
I've got something racy for you this
time; something that will turn the
town upside down. You know Mrs.
- Che whispers well known woman's
name); well, she and Colonel -
(here another whisper conceals
the name) were caught riding
in hack Thuraday night
by her husband. He punched the
colonel on the nose and slapped his
wife's face, and if the hackman hadn't
jumped between them he'd have killed
her. Here's the hackman's number,
he'll give you the whole story but
don'tyou ever mention my name aboutit.
Why not? Why my dear De Jones, Col.
= is one of the best friends l have in
the world, and Mr.. IS name is on
nv note in the First National; he
thinks the world of me, while Mrs. -
is one of the closest friends my wife has.
What do I talk about them Tor then
Why, to give you a story. Thought
you'd like a good beat like that, and
here you seem to be mad about it.
What's that, sir? Think l am low
down sneak and cad, do you? Well, Mr..
De Jones, want you to understand, sir,
that don't tolerate any such-what-
the story is lie, is it? You don't be-
lieve it, eh? Oh! Indeed! Perhaps
you are rather sweet on Mrs. - your
self-what's that? You'll throw me out
of here? Like to see you do it, By
Jove, sir. l have q mind to cane you.
Here Let go of me, De Jones. On,
come row, l didn't mean anything.
Confess it's lie? Well, heard some-
thing about somebody or other, and /
thought you would like good story,
and perhaps | did exaggerste little.
Now look a. here, De Jones',
I've explained. and it's very rude
(outside of door,, "Say, De Jones, I'll
never give you another story like that,
and please don't mention my having
been here"
And 30 they go. There's the fellow
who puts cigar on the desk and thinks
he ought to get column free write up
in return; there's the scoundrel who
thinks he can tip newspaper man as
he would Pullman porter and buy
what he wants said or unsaid there's
the exchange fend, whose sleight OF
hand enables him to get out of the pile
of newspapers which the porter has just
brought from the postoffice the very
ones which De Jones wants--this fellow
never fails; there's the man who insists
on talking politics, and the man who
wants an Office, and similar bores with
out number.
But there is pleasant credit side to
the account. There are warm friends
who drop in to say pleasant word OF
do favor; there are others who bring
in valuable news or give desirable
pointer; there are CHEEKY, breezy fel-
lows who come in for a minute, brace up
tired worker by crisp joke or good
story, and all of these cannot call toe
often on De Jones and men like him.
Gossipers abroad say that Sarah Bern
hardt's reckless son, Maurice, has
squandered all of his own fortune and
not little of Sarah 3 money at baccarat
and as his independent little wife re
fuses to support him any longer, they
have quarreled and separated. Their
business has not been exactly successful
of late with the great actress
Several OF her ventures have not beer
rich in results. Finally they have bur
lesqued her Cleopatra, and represen
ha iu,r, ett,