The Portland daily press., 1893-12-09
THEINTERvIEW.
Mr.. Cleveland and the President
New York SUM-

New York SUM-
P.-Good morning. You are looking
little worried this morning You must
take better care of yourself. 1 DON'T
know what the country would do II you
should break down with this Congress
on your hands.
CT know it. 1t is this deep sense OF
indispensability that sometimes almost
give me tired feeling. But this Ha-
waiian business annoys me. Ii 1t wasn't
for this confounded Congress
P.-O, well, you don't mind Congress,
I hope. I don't.
C.-Yet it is such a nuisance to super
wise it.
Pr know. Servants are such "a care
But you must try and bear it the best
you can
C.-Why, some of them Congressman
actually have the inpudence to oppose
my policy.
P.-What are we coming to?
C.-And they have the check to call
themselves Democrats too, the stupid,
obstinate scoundrels!
P.-Well, | dunno, sometimes thlhK
that you and arc about the only Demo-
Gratis left, old man.
C.-Lett! How left? Who says we're
left? O, / see Yes, but / can't expect
everybody to understand things as well
as do. It's this perpetual feeling of
responsibility that makes me nervous.
FL know just how you feel. Some
times. when | put out my bedroom can
die at night | thinks to myself, great
Scott, how dark the world is now.
C.-Yes; I've had the same thought.
| remember just after my great message
in 1887 was putting on my shirt one
morning, and, by thunder, sir, the sun
rose as soon as had buttoned the top
button.
P.-Some of the newspapers, heb, heb.
seem to think we sort of toss our shirts
on this Hawaiian trouble.
C.-The newspapers! Faugh! Damn
the newspapers. If it wasn't for the
newspapers and Congress
P.--We could show 'em policyssthat
would make their eyes stick out.
C.-Newspapers or no newspapers,
Congress CT no Congress. when I have
taken line of policy l won't bulge. l
am sticker. | know what's right. I
know what's good for the country.
P.-pd like to know who does if you
don't.
C-What am here for? I'm no errand
boy; rs the boss. See?
P.-They'll find that what you say
goes before they get through with ycu.
C.-Ihere's one sthing you can be
great help to me in. If any of them
Democratic kickers come around asking
for an office for their constituents, you
just keep on telling 'em fair exchange is
no robbery. Gentlemen, batch of Mr..
Cleveland's opinions goes with each
office. Take the lot and we take your
votes. Is it a bargain?
P.-Beautiful, beautiful. And yet
they say we haven't got any tact. l
guess we can run about as good di-
plomacy counter AS any of 'em.
Give do know thing or two. We're
no jays # we did come from Buffalo.
Bnt the Hawaiian policy is
P.-hs-h. (They whisper.)
C.-Kept 'em all agog, you see. Moth
ing like mystery. like to be mysterious
1 enjoy it.
P.-But Congress will be bowling for
the papers.
C.-Let 'em howl I am responsible to
the American people, and the American
people have supreme confidence in the
rectitude of my intentions and in the
Integrity of my ratiocinations.
P.-Don't waste that. Put it in the
special message.
Can act of Justice to a sister poten-
tate defrauded of her throne by the
base Vaccinations Of
missionaries and such trash.
Chang 'em! I wish there was some
way of getting rid of 'em. Pm afraid
we shan't be able to use the navy at
present.
P.-O, Congress won't sit forever. And
the Constitution
C.-The Constitution is an internal
old nuisance. Ga
PPM with yousthere. But then we
can ingore it.
C;-Yes, but the mere thought of it
displeases me.
Pits too bad that we can't throw
it away, the way we did that tariff
plank.
CT am all the Constitution my
country needs. My people are perfectly
satisfied with me.
P.-But the way we kicked over that
tariff plank, and let the Constitution
suffer, was pretty good.
CATER you get in at The upper
the ladder?
P.-The people know you.
C.-My people are good after they find
out what want them to do. They are
sometimes little stupid, but..in the end
Iney approve my course and gratefully
recognize their obligations to my admin
istration.'
P.-Mr. Cleveland, think you are the
greatest statesman in the world.
C.-Mr. President, allow ME to congrat-
ulate you on giving the country the
nnest administration it has ever seen
with the possible exception of vour first
Will you kindly ring for Thurbe1? /
want to get him to tell the United Press
that am going to shave.