The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-11-04
THE JOKERS' BUDGET /.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
He Had Noticed lt-Cause for Resent
ment-Worse-AS Singular Request,
Etc Etc.

ment-worse-A Singular Request,
Etc Etc.
HE HAD NOTICED 1T.
Barber giving him a swipe down the
/ other cheek Yes, sir; I've got some
influence in this ward, if do say it my
self.
Man in Chair-You do seem TO have
something of pull.-IChicago Tribune.
CAUSE FOR RESENTMENT.
"There's an awful quarrel on between
Harry de Ruyter and Miriam. Have you
heard about itY"
"No; what's it all about?"
"Why, Harry told her she was his
study for the heroine of his last story,
and she read it and found that he de
scribed her as mot strictly beautiful )"
WORSE.
Barrie-Fgg1b blyman is a terrible bore.
Strang-Does he persist in telling the
clever things his children have said?
Barric-W orse He tells OF the
clever things he has said himself.
A SINGULAR REQUEST.
Family Physician-I can assure you,
my dear lady, that you have not the least
trace Of "A liver complaint.
Patient, who longs TO 90 TO Carlsbad
But, my dear doctor, can't you provide
me with it if | want it very badly
IFliegende Baetter
NIGHT CALL HIM ONE BY TELEPHONE.
Haverly- Would you call a man liar
who was in the habit Of telling little
harmless iihsl
Austin-It would depend upon how
much he weighed. l. Vogue.
JUST LONG ENOUGH TO THINK IT OVER.
Patient Old Lady (to elevator boy
reading novel How often does the
elevator go up, boyl
Elevator Boy-It goes up at the end
OF every chapter. [Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
THE FAULT ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Isabella. / don't see why YOU should
have any difficulty in conversing with
Mr.. Francement. You said you spoke
French?
Elayne-I do. but no one can under
stand me.-lChicago Record.
III THIS WE'RE ONLY TRUE.
SO many girls will have to go without
new hats this winter on account Of the
Worlds Fair that it will be quite the
thing to go bareheaded to the theatre
Ach!son Globe
.SsoULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
He-What is the reason you won't let
me kiss you when ask you? Is it be-
cause you think l have kissed so many
other girlsl
She-No, acquit you of that.
He-Indeed! Why2
She-Because, if you had you wouldn't
have asked. Il New York Herald
AND TROUBLE EVENTUALLY FOLLOWED.
Neighbor's Boy-Your mamma must
be mighty strong.
The Other Boy-How do you know
whether she is or nOtl
Neighbor's Boy-I heard my mamma
say she b'lieved she was a shoplifter. -
lChicago Tribune.
A PROTESTED TRANSMISSION.
Little Mary-O, you've got pspa's
razor. He'll just take your head off
when he finds it out.
Little Johnnie docking at the blade
with a satisfied air after drawing it
through another pine stick)-Not with
this. - Detroit, Tribune.
WANTED soLICITUDE.
"Now, DEAR" said the thoughtful
wife, "you will be careful not to get
your feet wet, won't you?"
"Humphv' ~ replied the dyspeptic hus-
band. That's the way with you women.
That shows Just about how much con.
sideration you have for a man. sup
pose you'd be satisfied to see me break
my neck trying 10 walk down to
my Office on my hands, wouldn't your
Washington Star.
JOHN SETTLED AND DONE FOR.
$50 your son John is counting woman
Mt LAST I'm afraid, however, that he'll
be too bashful TO propose to her."
ale won't need to propose; she's a
widow. - New York Press.
A MEAN MAN.
"Mv dear" said Mr.. Bloobumper 10
his wife, II wish you would have some
of these biscuits of yours when Mr.. Bris-
coe is here for dinner"
II thought you didn't like Mr.
Briscoe, love-" replied Mrs. Bloobumper,
sw ectly.
IL DON'T Judge.
A woMAN's JOKE.
eyes, mutton's dear today" said he,
"But here's some venison that's nice. ="
ooh, no; no venison for me,
She said, that's dear at any price"
- New York Press.
LIKE A PAPER WRAPPER.
The Young Housewife-Hsve you
any canvas back duck1
Butchcr-les, ma'am.
The Young Housewife-Well, wish
you'd send me one. And | wish you'd
have it taken out of its canvas, il you