The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-01-17
oRRs OBSERVATIONS.
what lie Sees and Hears During Hts
Travels.

|
dropped into Not one present was under 48
and several of them were upwards Of go, but
they were as lively as kittens and as witty as
a kings jester. Many Of them looked older
than they really were. Tho hardships Of
active soldier life added ten years to the lives
Of most Of them but when they get together
as 1 found them the other evening, thoy cast
dull care aside and the fund Of anecdotes
they lay bare affords one more fun than he
could have squeezed out Of Old-iashoned
Christey Minstrels, Captain Roads, the fat
and white haired ex Chief Of Police Of town,
is a king pin among the story tellers. On
this particular occasion he told a story that
convulsed his comrades with laughter and
which 1 consider worth publishing in this
column. Roads commenced by saying that
one night he strayed away from his camp in
search of something fresh to eat. He came
| to a farm house just as a terrible storm broke
out. Roads applied for admission and a
woman allowed him to enter, but immedi.
atoly after told him that sho could not allow
him to remain in the house. Roads stood his
| carbine in corner Of the room and approach
ed the large old-fsshioned fire place to warm
himself The woman told him to go, but he
paid no attention, whereupon she seized
charred piece of wood from the fire place
and said "See here, 'yank, if you ken
jump farther then me you ken stay
! if yer kent, yer must git" Roads
agreed to the proposition With the piece OF
charred wood the woman drew limo upon
the floor She then threw open the door
toed the line she had made and jumped,
landing at the threshold of the doorway
"Oh, can beat that easy" said Roads, as he
toed the mark. He jumped and landed
| beyond the threshold and on the ground
outside. At the same time the woman took
the caTbine from the corner and taking aim
at the winning jumper, Now, you git and
don't yer try to come in hero ag'in." Roads
| left and the woman slammed the door and
| locked it. The soldier was anxious to re-
cover his carbne and concluded to hide
under haystack near the house until an
opportunity toeget into tho house would be
afforded. He had hardly secreted himself
when a man approached the door with
/ Duilult OA HIS tlihs Ab ~ subsequently A'-
veloped the bundle was a chicken and bottle
of brandy. The man was in the habit OF
calling at the house when the husband was
absent, and the eatables and drink were in
! tended to make the evening pass pleasantly.
Roads went to one of the windows at the side
of the house and by peeping soon learned
how the land lay. He stood there but few
minutes when he heard a rattling at tho door
at the other side of the house and voice say,
"Why don't you open" The man who was
already in the house lodged under the bed
that was in one corner Of the room and the
chicken, brandy, plates and glasses went
into the cupboard on a fly. The
door opened and another man, who proved
to be the husband of the woman, entered.
| The husband directed the woman to 60 to
another part Of the house for some dry cloth
ing and Roads then went around to the door
and knocked. The husband admitted him.
Roads asked to be allowei to warm himself
and asked for something to eat. The hus-
band said he did not know of anything in
the house Roads made some mysterious
movements with his hand, said 'Presto, ap-
pear" and then told the farmer to go to the
closet and he would find a chicken and some
brandy. The farmer opened the closet door
and, Of course, found them, "Well III be
swapped for a blind mule eff / ever seed the
| like afore Let's have some, 'Yank, he
added. Roads was agreeable and he and the
| farmer attacked what the man under the bed
had intended for himself and the farmers
WIFE Meanwhile the wife remained from
the room, fearing to enter lest her paramour
might be discovered in her presence. AS
Roads and the farmer feasted the latter said
he had often heard much about the "Yanks"
and their magic tricks" and he was partly
convinced by Roads wonderful production of
the chicken and brandy, because he had
never had enough money at one time himself
to purchase such luxuries and could not see
how they got into the house, but he could not
credit the report that ''Yanks" could make
the devil appear when they saw fit.
ooh, that is easily done," said Roads.
| ''Ken yer do it2" exclaimed the
farmer. Roads assured him that
he could and the farmer begged for an ex-
ptIluenl1 WuGlCupuu hOduo dBiCCu " Al"hS
one on condition that the farmer implicitly
obeyed instructions The farmer agreed,
Roads threw the door of the house entrance
wide open and stood the farmer near it with
his face towards the wintry blasts The
farmer was warned not to look behind under
any consideration. Roads then took up a
brand of fire and after swinging it about his
head several times and mumbling some
unintelligible words threw it under the bed.
The paramour lost no time in getting out from
| his place of concealment But more than
that, he dashed across the room, knocked the
farmer away from the doorway with fist
blow on the neck, and dashed out into the
storm. "Whew! gewillickey| yelled the
| farmer as he picked himself up. Stop it!
Stop it right now! l believe you Internal
yauk s ken do anything" The farmer was
satisfied with the experiment and the wife,
who plainly saw the ruse by which she and
! her paramour were rescued from their dilema,
became so profuse in extending hospitalties
] ID III 20, 81,