Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-12-08

1ueu tQe N09uul V0iieI muQo WIN
jump. too, and reached the door only ,
trifie In advance Of paper weight ont
and a-half pounds heavy Pittsbure
Telegraph.
He HAD SEEN THEM.
He had been talking to the pretty CIR
from Boston about his observations and
experiences in the west.
'Did you," she inquired, ''ever see
any of the Indians known as the 'exca
vatorsT"
"As which--oh--er, yes" and h,
fastened to assure her that he had seen
any number of "Diggers. ~ Washing
ton Star.
| NO MISTAKE HAD BEEN MADE.
Waiter Haven't you forgot something
sir2
Customer (anxiously)--Why, did
give you quartcr2
Waiter--No.
| Customer (relieved) -That's all right,
then. haven't forgot anything
Truth.
II hear Players made money with his
new topical song"
Eyes. One man gave him $40, 900 to
suppress it,"
CAUGHT IN THE ACT,
Mrs. Faddleby-What rude woman
Mrs. Hitler isl She always looks back
at people who pass her.
Mr.. Faddleby--How do you know9
Mrs. Faddleby-Why, caught her at
1t several times myself.-[Judge.
AN ORATORS MYSTIC SPELL.
II hear that Spelbindem has Quit be-
ing an orator. How's that? always
thought he could make an audience laugh
or weep throughout the evening"
''He could. The only trouble was that
they laughed at his serious efforts and
wept at his jokes. "-[Chicago Record.
CAN'T RESIST IT.
Citizen-Do you have much trouble
arresting tramps2
Policeman-Oh, no; no matter how
strong tramp is he will never resist q
rcst.-lStatesman.
NET RESULT.
Watts-How did you como out in your
little wrestle with the Chicago meat
markct2
Potts-I went after wool and got
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
THE SAD FATE OF CONVERSATIONS.
The man was walking along Woodward
avenue carrying parrot in cage.
What you got there2' asked e
friend.
Parrot: I'm taking it home to my
wife. She always wanted one"
81 hope you'll have better luck than
did with one l gave my wife"
"What happened to it?"
Don't know my wife do you9"
"No."
"Neither did the parrot. 1t wanted
to talk during tie daytime and couldn't
get chance while my wife was around.
SO it stayed awake at night to do it,
talking, and the poor thing died of in.
somnia before two weeks. '-[Detroit
Free Press.
A MOUNTAINOUS BODY.
Johnny, get up; the sun has been ur
three hours"
''Let him; I don't have to shine for ,
living."-[Truth.
TOO MUCH TO EXPECT.
Kitty-Did you enjoy the saturda,
night hope
Tom-Oh, fairly.
Kitty-But some of the girls told m,
they didn't have bit of a good time.
Tom--Oh, well; couldn't dance with
oil of them.--lTruth.
THOSE AMENITIES.
Louise (of Washingtom--Do 70,
know that ever since have known YOU
you have reminded me so much of on,
of my best friends at home. The resem
blancc is quite striking. Your nose and
mouth, for instance, are precisely likt |
hers: She's an awfully pretty girl
too"
Lulu (of New York)--Rcally, 20,
tlatter me
Louise-Yes, indeed, she is regarded
as one OF the greatest beauties in Wash
ington. And (musingly) it's rather 70
too, for Marie hasn't singh |
good feature in her face.-[Life.
A FOOLISH QUESTION.
Dora-Oh, I'm in such distress O
mind, and l want your advice. an
loved by three men, and l don't know
which to accept.
Clara-Which one has the mes
money?
Dora-lf knew that do you suppos
"a waste precious time running AROUND
for advice?-[Ne York Weekly.
"But they say man was lynched il
this town yesterday" said the new in
vestor.
"a base SANDER, SIR" said the req
estate agent; ''the rope broke and h
got away W--[ Atlanta Constitution.