Connecticut western news., 1893-12-28
CANAAN, ,CoNN,THURsDA 2s, 1893.

him, and finally he compelled my an- cestor to wheel the barrow, loaded as it was with his armor' and weapons.
 Unaccustomed to such menial toll, the knight made such poor progress that evening found them still far from home. The bangs of hunger added to the knights misery. But Walker dis appeared in the woods, taking with him the warriors long spear.
 In less than an hour he returned with a couple of fat bullets, small pig. and peck of Early Rose potatoes, dis posed about his person in manner that would have done credit to the king s conjurer.
 "And now," said he, as he laid his booty on the ground, i've will light a fire in the stove."
 "What stove2" exclaimed my ances- tor in amazement.
 "I'll show you," replied Aimless, "how necessity can create out of ap- parently the most incongruous mate Iials satisfactory base burning, self feeding and self regulating Sunshine range and heater combined, warranted, likewise, to save fuel and reduce the cost of living by one-half.
 Speaking thus, he took the warrior 8 iron body piece and placed it upon sev eral stones in an upright position. In few minutes he had attached the arm pieces, thus constructing a stovepipe, and filling the contrivance with leaves and wood in less than quarter of an hour he had merry fire blazing there in. Filling the helmet with water, he placed it upon the opening in the armor for the knights neck and left it to boil, while he prepared the chickens. These he put in the pot with the potatoes to boil. Then, taking the knights shirt of chain he drove four stakes in the ground at equal distances and suspended the garment in such Q manner that when he had lighted fire beneath it served as a gridiron to broil the porker upon.
 Now" said Aimless as he removed the porker from the gridiron, and plac ing it upon my ancestors shield began to carve it with his sword, 'just spear them poultry and taters outen the pot, will yer, and we'll begin the ban quet. My ancestor fished out the chickens and potatoes, and they fell to.
 "A couple of perfectos would just fin ish this about right,' said Aimless, with sigh, as he lay back against 8 tree for awhile.
 Then he filled the stove with more firewood and said:
 Well keep that going all night and snooze right alongside of it, 7" which they did.
 In the morning they warmed over the remnants of the feast and proceeded on their way. As they neared my ances- tors castle, Walker began to muse, as one who medltates putting up job, but the warrior did not perceive it, as he was busy pushing the wheelbarrow. Suddenly Walker broke out:
 Strikes me, my lord, that it were an unseemly entrance to your city that you make. Perchance 'twere wiser to resume your metallic togs and go in in some style."
 My ancestor assented to this, and with the pilgrim s help entered his armor, and Walker fastened the combination lock.
 Then the base, ignoble churl rapidly trundled the supine and hapless knight to an obscure street in the lowest and most unfashionable part of my ances- tors town, down near the river, and opening his visor gagged him with a piece of cloth, which he tore off the tail of his new coat of arms.
 Chuckling with fiendish glee, he then proceeded until he came to the junk shop of William Slathers, atterward Earl Slathers, the first of what became noble English family, and there he sold the armor and weapons, my ances- tor included, as old iron at 8 cents a pound.
 He then decamped.
 Slathers, in examining his bargain a little later, discovered concealed with in the person of his liege lord. Between the shock of finding him thus and re- alizing that he had been bunkoed into buying 125 pounds of my ancestor as old iron, he almost lost his mind.-Walt McDougal in New York World.