davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

And Fortunes fairest apples grew beyond
my longest pole:
And Fate latest woodchuck lodged me ard
escaped into his hole.
My freighted ship that sailed from Spain
sank meath the ocean spray.
And fortunes eel 1t wiggled SO let 1t slip
away;
And my dark-breasted grapes of luck that
hung in pendent shapes
Were stolen by another chap who had q taste
for grapes.
On the Go & Get-There railroad Hope pre-
sented me pass,
Good for Pullman palace car with every
thing first-class:
And she checked my baggage for me, ana
she said 'twould all be found
At the Get-There central station, where her
through express was bound.
Away the engine bounded, and the bridges
creaked and swayed.
And the Pullman rocked and trembled, but
we swept on undismayed;
And we dashed on through the fog banks till
a rotten culvert cracked,
And we rolled down an embankment to the
meadows of Hard Fact.
And since then I've bought q pick-ax, and d
shovel and a hoe,
And I've ditched the Hard Fact meadows.
and I've made EN- bloom and grow;
Though I've raised no golden harvest have
made my farming pay,
And I've raised fine grass upon them, and it
makes nutritious hay.
But still the ancient rumors float into my
meadow here
That Hope makes prodigious promise for the
coming glad New Year, -
That she offers still free passage on the Go
d Get-There train
But I've got my Hard Fact hay crop to get in
before the rain.
So the fish in Hopes great ocean no more
invite to bite.
Nor the soaring bird of paradise beckon to
alight,
1 let Fortunes fairest apples go untroubled
by my pole.
And Fates latest woodchuck ambles his
own gait INTO his hole.
But I've found the Hard Fact meadows, now
I've drained them, sweet and fair.
And l smell the scent of daisies and of
clover in the air;
Aud though no untoiled-for mama from the
generous heaven drops,
Bring my hoe and spade and sickle, will
gather i'll my crops.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

ACT as though they loved their grand
mothers, and they probably do. After
they are through pouring the water
over them they sprinkle them with per-
fume and powder their necks and faces.
They also give them new suit of
clothes on New Years day, consisting
often of new waist cloth and a Turkish
towel.
The celebration of New Years day is
sanctioned by the Buddhists, and the
Siamese believe that the souls of those
Buddhists who have gone to purgatory
come back to earth on that day. The
people pour water out on the ground in
celebration of this, and they always go
to the temples and visit the shrines.
Every idol in the kingdom is bathed
with perfumed water. and incense is
burned by the cord. They lay flowers
upon the idols, and they weave garlands
and put them into Buddha's hand. The
children play tricks upon one another
much the same as we do on Halloween
or April l.. They black each others
faces, and push each other into the
river. They have water celebration
much the same as in Burmah, and the
king has reception of his officers much
the same as has our president.
SLAMS MOCK KING.
Speaking of the king, Siam has an
other queer holiday, during which the
king nominally gives his power over to
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31
BALCH'S NEW YEAR SERMON.

The people of Pokumville had gath
cred together to listen to Elder Parsons
regular New Years sermon. Soon after
assembling in the church a messenger
arrived from the minister. saying that
he was laid up with a sudden attack of
rheumatism, which had come upon him
SO quickly that he had no time in which
to procure a substitute.
This. at first, threw the meeting into
great dismay. But, after few mo-
ments awkward pause. Sam Balch rose
up in the aisle and said:
GAS the elder can't git here, and no
other brother seems to have anythin' to
say, if the congregation is wiilin' l will
make few remarks myself"
The congregation did not respond
perceptibly, but as old ST Pettigrew,
from his perch on the wood box from
behind the stove cried out, go ahead,
Sam" Sam accordingly event ahead.''
Below is the New Years sermon that he
preached, and everybody said if it had
had more long words in 1t, like the ell
der's sermons, it would have been real
good.
"Wal. my frien's." began Sam, "we're
agoing to try the thing -agin. Now, l
DON'T advise any of We this New Years
evenin' to set down an think of your
sins. You hain't got time. An [ don't
advise ye to make long list of new res
olutions, for Eve noticed that the man
who resolves to clothe himself on $50 a
year goes and pays $50 for an overcoat
on the I'd of Jenerwery. But my text.
for which | can't bother to give We the
book and chapter, is:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

this time. and all the gambling houses
of Bangkok are opened. Thousands of
these half-naked Siamese- squat about
playing fan tan, and one of the funniest
customs is that the children have Of
bathing their grandmothers on New
Years. The ugliest-looking old women
of the world are the Siamese. The maid
ems are plump and bright-eyed. They
are short, seldom over five feet in
height, but they are straight and we'll
formed. They wear nothing but strip
of cotton cloth yard wide and about
three yards long, which they wind about
their hips and fasten by pulling the ends
through between the legs and tucking
it into the belt at the back. This is the
dress of the common women. and 1t is
only the better classes who have any
thing about the shoulders, the bust and
the neck. In such costume a plump
girl looks well. but scrawny. wrinkled
old woman looks horrible. The Slamese
women cut their hair short. 1t grows
coarser as they grow older and it stands
UP like shoe brush all over their heads.
These grandmotherS have bristleS
about an inch long. They all chew
the betel, and long before they
have grandchildren their teeth are
black and their lips are cracked and
stained. They squat around the house
on their launches doing little but
smoking cigarettes and chewing 5etel
nuts, and they vary the putting out the
smoke with the splitting out betel juice.
This betel juice is red, and it looks just
like blood. The most of the houses Of
Bangkok are right on the river, and the
children dip up the water IN buckets
and pour it over these old hays as they
sit on the porches in the sunshine. They
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

and fastened to one of the uprights, so
that the money hung about thirty feet
out from the swing. The pole was so
bent that the bag of money hung quiv-
ering from the topmost point. far out to
the side of the swingers. The feat was
for them to get the money while
the swing was moving. They
first knelt and prayed to the
king, and then went up and down
upon the swing until they swung them
selves high up in the air and nearer and
nearer the money. At last one of them
reached it. According to the rules he
had to bite it off with his teeth and to
hold the money in his mouth until the
swing stopped. This is no easy feat,
and the people went wild. Then other
four men took their places on the
swing, and more money was put up,
ard so it went on. was not able to
learn just what it meant. but 1 was told
that it was semi-religious in character,
and that it came from the Brahmins.
QUEER CHINESE CUSTOMS.
The Chinese New Year festivities
often last for three weeks. The people
prepare for them. and the last days of
the old year are the busiest. Every one
wants money, and the storekeepers are
getting ready for their annual settle
ment. All debts are expected to be
paid at the end of the old year. and
every one figures up his accounts. The
women celebrate the occasion by clean
ing house. The floors are washed, the
chairs are covered with red cloth, and
strips of red paper marked with names
OF good fortune, wealth and happiness
are pasted outside the front doors. The
last of the old year is celebrated with a
| feast, and on the last night the little
boys of China run about the streets
yelling out good resolutions. One of
their cries is that they will sell their
folly and their lazy habits to any one
| who will buy, in order that they may
| be wiser next year. On the last day Of
| the old year the Chinese pray before
their ancestral tablets. They go out to
the graves and they worship the
gods in the temples. They fire off
flrecrackers to scare off the bad
| spirits, and New Years night in China
| is good deal worse than it is in Amer
| lea. New Year morning finds all the
shops closed. The day is devoted to
calling and visiting. Presents are given.
The ladies visit one another and carry
Gifts of candy. AS soon as they come
| In each guests served with cup of
tea. in which an almond has been
| placed as an emblem of good fortune.
| The officials hold receptions as we do.
and the princes at Peking call upon the
emperor and say that they he will reign
10000 years. These New Year festivi-
ties are kept up for days. Presents are
| sent between friends, and one
OF the most common presents is
cake as round as ball
fried in oil. The Chinese watch the
weather very carefully Oh New Year,
and on the week following it. If the
first ten days of the year are good they
believe that the whole year will be fine,
and that everything will flourish. There
are lots of prophets, soothsayers and
gamblers, and the whole country for the
time goes wild. The beggars are out in
force. They go about the last night of
the old year with buckets of paste and
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

Well-formed and fine-loOking. Her red
lips are luscious, her eyes are brown
and velyety, and her cheeks are the
color of the cream of your own Jersey
cow, with faint tinge Of red in the
center She wears but two garments.
One is a white sacque of fine SILK
or cotton, which covers the arms
and bust and falls 10 the
waist. and the other is strip of silk or
cotton of the brightest colors, which is
wrapped tightly around her waist. hips
and loins, and fastened with twist at
the front. 1t falls to her feet,and when
she walks she kicks her bare heels out
behind. so that the only exposure of her
person is from her foot to the knee. She
wears rings in the lobes of her ears as
big around as silver quarter, and she
smokes cigars as long as lead pencil
and as thick as the wrist of a two-year-
old baby. She has more rights in the
way of business and love-making than
has her American sister, and
On New Years day she is
more giddy than ever. As soon
as the day braakS she gets squirt gun
made of tin or bamboo and with bucket
of water goes out to Saturate her gentle
men friends. No one is safe from her,
and boys and girls. men and women,
devote the day to sprinkling and soak
ing each other. No one has right to get
mad OH this day, and a boy has the
right to pour water over his father, and
the girls drop bucketfuls from the roofs
of the houses down the back of their
parents, and Europeans as well as
Americansaare soaked. At New Year
not long ago an Englishman in :all
plug hat arrived at Rangoon, Burmah.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31
CARE OF A CANARY.

Of all birds to keep in the nursery
canaries are certainly the incest. They
are very aflectionate, and can be tanned
to almost any extent. In buying bird
be sure to go to respectable shop or
you may be cheated. The writer heard
of one lady who, to her disgust. dis
covered she had bought a sparrow
painted yellow, thinking it very hand
some canary. She had given large
price for it.
The best cages for canaries are those
made of maghogany or any other hard
wood. Be sure never to buy one made
of fir or other soft and porous woods, as
they harbor insects. Cages are really
best made chiefly of wire; these are
light, neat and easily kept clean. The
food and water vessels should always
be of glass or porcelain, and placed out
side the cage, so as to let the bird have
the whole of the interior to himself. For
one bird the cage should not be less
than twelve inches in height and eight
in length and breadth. Each cage
should have two perches, not under one
another. The best food is canary and
turnip seed (the smaller summer rape
seed, in the proportion of one-third or
one-fourth of the latter to tWo-thirdS or
three-fourths of the former.
A little variation in their food Occa-
sionally will be found conducive to the
health and well-being of birds. Oat-
meal or greats now and then, mixed with
their seeds or given in the little tin box
with which cages are usually furnished,
will be useful ;chickweed, groundsel or
lettuce leaf should be given three or
four times a week. except in a breeding
cage. A small lump of bay salt or a
piece of old mortar is good for them to
peck at, and a slice of apple. pear, plum
or cherry will be grateful to the biz DIS
If not too often repeated.
1t is most important that canarieS
should be kept dry, clean and warm. and
their owners must not forget that these
charming little birds are foreigners and
therefore cannot always bear exposure
to draughts in which hardy American
birds thrive.
When keeping pets children should
try to realize the kind of country, and
especially the sort of climate natural
to them. 1t will then be easy to sur
round them with what is best suited to
the nature Of each.
For Instance, remembering the bright,
hot sunshine to which birds from dis
tant lands are accustomed, it would be
we'll to place the cage in nice, safe,
warm place daily.
But the poor little bird must not be
left to SILVER when the sunshine has
passed. 1t is better TO move his cage
before that moment. This should not
be forgotten by the young mistress or
master who wants to keep pet healthy
and happy.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31


"Most of us here is OF buffers, an we
don't expect wen we hol' up our aprons
that Nacher is goin' to shake down the
stars into 'em. We don't expect, durin'
the comm year, to be invited into the
cabinet. We don't expect the new year
will furnish US pie an sass both at the
sau.e meal. an then top off with pud-
dim. We're goin' to have hard pickin',
some of us this year; but for all we are
ready to STAN up an git hit, an try the
thing agin.
II s'pose regular professional
preacher would tell We that We would
learn great many things in the comm
year. But dunno. l notice us OF fell
lers of sixty are pretty middlin' green
side er the young shoots er sixteen. If
man wuZ only born wen he is eighty
years OF, an then KEEP a-growin'
younger until he WIZ twelve, he might
die fGl of wisdom. If we could only
inherit our knowledge backerds from
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

a mock king, and the whole of Siam
takes part in this celebration. The gov
ernor of the province sent me an invita-
tion to it while [ was in Bangkok, and [
watched the proceedings in company
with an Austrian prince who was Wis
lting Siam at that time. There were
thousands Oh the streets, and the
rich Siamese, as we'll as the
poor, were out. There were lots
of royal babies, who were dressed
in nothing but diamonds. | remember
one young prince who had cupful of
diamonds upon him, and his sole dress
was these and silver belt. He was
about four years old. and he was smok-
ing a cigarette. There were lots of
pretty Siamese girls, many of whom
wore silk waist cloths, and through the
crowd came a number of SiameSe debt
ors, with chains about their legs. They
were going to work, aud were not
allowed to take part in the festivities.
The celebration took place in great
court near the city market of Bangkok.
We waited about three hours before
we heard the procession. Then
noise arose like that of thousand
dogs with tin cans tied to their
tails rafting over the stoniest of stree is
and moment later we saw about 1000
naked legs carrying 1000 half-naked
Siamese. who carried banners and es-
corted wrinkled old prince as their
king. This old king was as black as
the ace of spades, and his under jaw
was no thicker than your finger. He
was dressed in gold and silver clothing.
and he had crown on his head that
looked like a pyramid of ice cream.
The people cheered him as he came up.
and he stopped in front of our party
and wagged his thin lower jaw at
the governor, saying something that
L could not understand. Right
near here there was great swing fast
ened to beam across two poles about
100 feet high. From the top of this
beam the ropes holding the swing were
hung, and on the board at its foot four
naked Siamese stood. A purse of money
was tied to long bamboo fishing pole
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

The latter part of January or the
first of February. Russia has New
Year about twelve days different from
ours, and the pretty girls of Burmah DO
not celebrate their New Year until
about the 1st of April. IN my trip
around the world few years ago L
struck number of queer New Year eel
ebrationS, and find that every nation
celebrates the day differently. The
people of Burmah and Siam have the
most curious customs. The Burmans
think that spirit king at that time
deScends from heaven to earth and up
on the manner of his coming depends
the prosperity ofthe year. The astrol-
ogers fix the time of disappearance,
and they give the signal when he has
come. The cannons are fired, guns are
shot and every man and woman in the
country makes a prayer and pours
libation of water on the ground. This
is the last night of the old year. and the
next morning is to be the beginning OF
the New Year holidays.
BURMESE WATER FEAST.
New Year in Burmah begins with
great water feast, and the Burmese
girls and women for this day reign SUI
preme. | wish | could show you Bur
mese girl. She is as pretty as any of
her kind the world over. She is straight,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

our children, there would be some
hopes of educatin' us Oh fogies. But
though we can never be as wise as we
wuZ afore our whiskers growed. still we
will poke along tie best way we can,
an try the thing agin.
You all Know that our minister
breaches SIGH nice funeral sermon that
we all turn out to his funerals to enjoy
ourselves. He makes the mourners feel
SO happy that the rest of the crowd gifts
jealous of 'em. He makes funeral
what the newspapers call "a highly
! enjoyable OccasiOn;" an most any man
would be willin' to die if he could only
have Elder Parsons to preach his funer-
al sermon for him.
AN we ought to feel about ev'ry New
Year as we do about one of Elder Par
sons funerals. 1t is gOin' to fetch US a
considerable lot er dead hopes, but, If
we are made of the right kind of stuff,
we shall preach SIGH funeral sermons
over 'em that we shall have real nice
time an enjoy the interestin' exercises.
My OF goose allus bows her head wen
she goes into the barn door. That's the
way she shows her respect to the barn.
So we ought TO bow our heads we'en we
enter the barn door of the year. My oP
goose very often comes out of the barn
without single extry kernel of corn i'll
her crop, an with her feathers consld-
erably ruff1ed by her fight with the dog.
Yet the next time she goes into the barn
she bows her head jest as low. She is
Willin' to try the thing agin.
We've all of US been into the barn
afore, an some of us have fallen off the
haymow. an some of US have had our
coattails chewed up by the caff, but let
us all bow our heads jest as low this
time. wen We go into the door, as ever
we did afore.
Eve got dog to home tibet wants to
tight with ev'ry other dog he sees, an
ev'ry time he fights he gifts licked. But
he is alluS jest as sure that he will
'nihilate the next dog that comes along.
He goes out to meet him with his head
and tail up an with colors flynn. It's
the same OF story over ag'in. But my
dog don't seem TO mind 1t. He is allus
victorious he is alone-an' never
gifts licked until another dog comes
along. AM he takes SO much comfort
between fights, thinkin' of how he'll
pulverize the next dog, that his life is
very happy one. He is allus willin' to
try the thing agin.
SO now, at this New Years season,
let US all be ready to go out and fight
the next dog. We know we can lick
him. He is little fellow, an he's lost
his teeth, an wen we bark he'll run.
That's what we want to believe until
we see him, an then if he chews us up.
there will be a lot of fun left us. in
thinkin' how we can lick the next dog.
As soon as our wounds are healed up
we will try the thing agin.
My OIL cat at home chascs her tail
ev'rY day. She has never caught it yet;
put she thinks she is goin' to tomorrow.
An so tomorrow is allus very pleasant
day for my cat.
So. perhaps, after all we had better
begin our New Year in the good OIL
fashioned way, an chase the same
visions we chased last year. An If we
have the hope of cat in our souls we
shall be happy ev'ry minute we are
chasin' 'em. Let us try the thing agin."
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

on New Years day. He had letters
of Introduction, and he went to
present these wearing a high silk
hat, long frock coat and
light pantaloons. At the front door he
found four pretty Burmese girls. who
told him in their lingo they were going
TO throw water on him. He thought
they were asking whether he wanted to
see their father, and lie raised his hat
and said YES" Upon this he got about
four gallons of water, and he was
drenched to the skin. Another Eli
gliShman who was treated in this Wav
picked up the girl and dropped her into
the bath tub from whence she was get.
ting the water. She was high-toned
Burmese girl. This action was en-
tirely contrary to New Years etiquette
and caused, it is said, the young mans
social ostracism.
BATTLE THEIR GRANDMOTHER.
The Siamese New Year is the 9th of
March, and the holidays last for five
days. There is no tax on gambling at
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31

There is more Catarrh in this section
of the country than all other diseases
put together, and until the last few
years was supposed to be incurable.
For great many years doctors pro-
uounced it a local disease, and pre-
scrlbed local remedies, and, by con-
stantly failing to cure with local treat
ment, pronounced it incurable. Science
has proven catarrh to be constitutional
disease, and therefore requires constitu-
tional treatment. HalPs Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by f. j. Cheney & Co.,
Toledo, Ohio, is the only constitutional
cure on the market 1t is taken in
ternally in doses from 10 drops to tea
spoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system.
They offer one hundred dollars for any
case it fails to cure. Send for circulars
and testimonials. Address
f. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
20 Sold by Druggists. 75c,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-31
POETRY ON new YEARS.
The OPENING DAY At HARD FACT
MEADOWS.
PRETTY LIE TOLD BY HOPE.

Down an Embankment to the
Meadows of Hard Fact-Sam
BaIch's New Year Sermon-The
Minister Was Away, and Sam
Had to Fill In-He Did 1t
Creditably.
Copyright
Hope came to me last New Year and told her
pretty lie.
How she'd make the earth grow greener,
how she'd scour up the sky,
How she'd make the stars shine brighter e'er
the coming year was done,
Make the grave moon more reSplendeut, pol
ish up the ancient sun.
And my bird of promise sat there on very
nearby rail-
And he lightened all my back yard with the
plumage of his tail,
And he gazed with orphic meaning from the
corner of his eye
Which proceeding l translated, Come and
catch me; here am ]"
And sauntered out to catch him as he sat
there on the rail,
With the salt of expectation to besprinkle on
his TAIL
And reached my hand to grasp him. with
glad hope upon my face
When / found that he had vanished to the
other side of space.
This bird Of paradise 1 chased did never once
alight;
And the fish in Hopes great ocean, which 1
bobbed for, did not bite;