The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-02-22

Mrs. Macgrcgor had mapped out. OF
course this caused great vcxation and
confusion. Mrs. Thimble dissolved
into tears, and it began to look us if we
would have to abandon our visit to
Mrs. Turner; for, although l was GER
tain that, knowing our comparatively
humble circumstances, nobody at Calm
Lake would expect MS to Haunt out like
lay figures or Chinese josscs, Mrs.
Thimblo insisted that if we looked
dowdy we should be hopclcssly. ire
tricvably ruined!
In the midst of this heart brcu!ling
agony Il sort of compromise occurred
to Mrs Thimblc. 1t was to the effect
that her sister lend her that red gown
of hers-that very red gown to which
l had instinctivcly taken SO fixed an
dccpcns and thiclcns. ] have talked
with several learned Presbyterian the
ologians about il, and they confirm my
theory that Satan engineered the
trouble from the beginning. To begin
with, Satan created that red gown:
then he put it within Mrs. Thimblc's
comprc hension then he artfully i'm bucd
Mrs. Thimblc with n yearnin% for and
harlicring after that gown: then he
weakened the stcrner qualities of my
nature until | became in Il measure
particeps criminis, by yielding my per-
mission to the borrowing of that fatal
raiment-ycs, Satan is responsible for
it all, SO l warn everybody against the
insidiOuS articles of that diabolical old
tyrant.
To make short OF Il long and harrow
ing experience, the red gown was duly
transferred temporarily TO the uses of
my wife. The pcarl-gray dinner gown
was rchabilitatcd and the brown silk
and the English walking dress were
fixed up in some sort of fashion-upon
my word, know nothing of this kind
of tlummcry-but it was tacitly under
stood that Mrs. Macgrcgor's gown, the
red gown, was to be the piece dc re-
siStancc. Moreover, l was solcmuly
intermediary, was vehemcntly en-
joined-that l was to set an inviolable
seal upon my lips and upon my coun-
tcnance lest l should bctray in one
way or another the awful secret that
Mrs. Thimble was wearing rainent
that belonged to another. | made every
promise; but, mind you, not until had
cXpostulatcd long and earnestly. My
conscience clamored against this out
rage. The still, small voice within
kept warning me that this duplicty
would surely lead to sorrow. But,
bless your SOUL when it comes TO ar
gument with ones wife-particularly
when that wife is the most adorable
creature on acknowledgements aud rca-
son and conscience are fragile, futile
things
The first three days at Calm Lake
were halcyon days indeed. The Turn
ers were simply charming-so cordial,
so informal, SO hospitable, so gracious
We had boating and fishing and tennis
galore; of evenings there was music
to refresh the senses, and the neigh
bors had n pleasant way of dropping
in after dinner and contributing to the
general mirthfulness. Yes, those were
ideal days; l look back upon them with
fondness. Upon the fourth day came
an awful change. Intuitively | knew
there was trouble brewing, for when l
arose that morning my corns ached.
Moreover, Saturn was then at perhe-
lion and so was Mars.
Mrs Thimblc confidcd to me that it
was Mr.. Turner's birthday, and that
the dear fellow had a surprise in store
for him in the shape of birthday din
ner which Mrs. Turner had surrep-
titiously planned. And now" said
Mrs. Thimble, 81 Shall wear the red
gown"
From that dinner the mischief spread
and deepcncd and waxed and ramifcd.
Mrs. Thimblc looked more beautiful
than ever before. The shrielling, sin
full red set off to amazing advantage
the sweet spirituality of her face and
the girlishness OF her figure. She was
i say it with regret, she was the Gym
osure of all eyes Other ears might
have been deaf, but mine heard what
that diabolical red raimcnt kept Shrek
ing. Borrowed! borrowed! Bor-
rowcd!' That was what it shrielcd,
and my misery was complete. To
emphasize the horror of the complca-
ton, Mrs. Turner guilclessly and cor
daily complimcnted my wife upon her
appearance. "What lovely toilet you
have this evening"" said she; sit is very
becoming, you should wear it often"
am man of quiet disposition and
of tranquil methods; as the author of
juvenile text books and an elucidator
of logarithms l have never mastered
the style necessary to convey to the
reader even suggestion of the variety
and intensity of my emotions when
overheard this remark which Mrs.
Turner, in all innocence, passed. Let
my silence now stand as an eternal
monument to the magnitude of my in
ability.
We came back home next day.
held my peace. Mrs Thimble was ex-
travagant in her rhapsodies over Calm
Lake and the Turner's and everything