St. Paul daily globe., 1893-10-13
SUGGESTIONS UPON THE FAIR

My advice to persons contemplating
movein the direction of Chicago is to go
alone or stay at home. ] went to the
worlds fair. That was a great pleasure.
But went with a crowd, and that was
anything but a pleasure. 1--WE were
seven.' and in looking for the other six
OF our party l wasted much of
the time that / should have
used III gazing at the marvellous
works of art from all parts of the globe.
nave vague idea of walking through
avenues lined with machinery, hunting
Tor Nellie; dodging amongst magnifi-
cent Statuary trying to catch Lucy. and
nearly demolishing a case containing
cut glass trying to follow Charlie.
Whenever l paused to examine any
thing i'll which / took particular in
tereSt l was invariably seized by one of
our party and marched off to see
something which was of interest to
them, but about which | understood
less than our yellow dog. Consequently
was dragged through gun exhibit
which hearty frightened me into
Mysteries, for it is proverbial that the
guns which are not loaded are the ones
which always shoot unsuspecting inno-
cents; whilst l viewed those guns
and Shivered, l was longing,
with dreadful gnawing, longiug 10
fly Oh the wings of love-aSsisted by
Columbian guard-to where the French
gowns were exhibiting themselves l
tried to admire Gatling gun, but could
Il
by straining my eyes toward case con-
aaining a set of Sables. If you must at
Send the fair in company with your
friends, have some distinctive mark
br badge by which you may be
readily recognized. l might sug
Cest uniform of red, with
hats of pink and blue. These cos
tunes might be slightly embarras sing
to the sensitive gentlemen of the party,
but you would be well repaid by the
time you would save, and, after visiting
the Midway" you ought not to be
annoyed If mistaken for South Sea
Islander in disguise. l several times
got separated from our party
and had to be conveyed to the lost and
found" bureau, with the lost umbrellas,
babies, lunch baskets, etc. Each time it
cost my friends considerable trouble
and money to have correct description
of me circulated. 1t was afterwards
very embarrassing to have farmers poke
each other and announce in stage
whispers: There is the gal what was
lost"
1t was queer sight 10 see some peo-
pie doing" the art galleries. They sat
in chairs and were wheeled through the
aisleS at a break-neck speed, and upon
reaching the doors, would triun. phantly
announce to their friends: "rhere! we
have finished this building; where shall
we go neXl?" l fingered before the
first few pictures in rapt admiration,
but with an unfortunate sequel. l
spent so much time in the first room
that l was hurried through the re-
mainder, and now my only recollection
is that l saw about two miles of water
colorS; 445 yards of oil paintings; por-
traits of generals, babies, dogs, and
presidents; rows of royal families, both
trees and olive branches: walls full of
crayons, and finally squeezed through a
gaping crowd, risking my life and Sun
day clothes, finally expecting to at leas t
view kodak picture of Albert Edward,
and all l saw was a lot of idiots gaz-
ing in rapture at a marble female
without any arms. A bystander re
marked: 'She supposed the artist died
before he finished it." l scorn to con-
ceal my feelings, SO l left my artistic
friends enthusing over this statue, and