St. Landry democrat., 1893-04-08
&C. E. Edwards, in Kansas City Journal.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A bouncing baby-The rubber doll.
Fair aud square-The angular Ltonde
girl.
Settled out of court-The confirmed
bachelor.
Gossip will very ssoon die without
proper ventilation.
Fighting tooth and na'-The dentist
and the chiropodst.
The barbed wire fence is the thing
that can give you points.
A bird that can't sing and II sing
ought to be made into pot-pie.
When bad example is set it is al to
hatch mischief. kate Fields Washih,
ton.
Many man has made a goose OF
himself with single quill. Texas Sift-
ings.
Sleep is not tAe period of conscious
ness; it is only the coma, so to speak,
Boston Courier.
1t takes years for q wise man to ma
ture, but fool can get ripe in minute.
Washington Star.
The diamond that poets praise,
Thou yh still favored jewel,
Will be outranked ere many days,
By carbon used as fuel
Washington Star
This would be much happier world
if we couldn't borrow trouble without
collateral security.-Puck.
"A -,
thing" as the poor skater remarked as
he picked himself up.-Puck.
"This is a first-class sugar loaf" said
the candy merchant as he retired from
business. Washington Star
When some people get on the roll of
honor they must roll it up and take it of
with them. -Gasvestou News.
The height of turbulence Taking
shelter in an umbrella shop till the
shower is over lie Monde Com,que.
1t has been demonstrated ofs
A man neer reaches fams
Until the world familiarly
Makes use of his first name.
Washington Star.
Photographer - Snow, madame, a
| pleasant expression. please Son-in-law
| Gin the back ground) go hew! l must
not miss that !'-Fliegcnde Blaetter.
Il am not afraid to say what think"
exclaimed Hiladd. Il always express
my views" They are too heavy to 60
10y mail, suppose" replied Larmer.--
She-"Dudes have1't more than half
sense" Mr.. Sappy-''Aw, Miss Navy,
are there no exccptions" 80, yes, Mr..
sappy; some haven't any. '-Brooklyn
Life.
"Poor Mr.. Mills is 6, sympathetic,
Think DoIIy-"What did he do2'
"To-day he sat with his eyes closed on
the car rather than see the ladies stand
up."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
"What have you got all those pictures
out on the window sill fora" asked
friend of al amateur photographer. ~
am simply airing my views" was the re-
Spouse. Statesm an.
Oh, novelist, little light
We humby beg of you.
Why are the CLOCKS Of which you writ,
All made Of ormolu?
Washington Star.
"Hello, Diuwiddie." exclaimed Shin
giss, when the two met on Fifth avenue,
81 haven't seen you in an age. What do
you do for living now?' ''Ibrcathe,"
replied Dinwiddie, languidly.-Pltts.
burg Chronicle.
Neighbours Boy Cooking through the
fence)-"NIy fathers heap bigger man
than your'n!' New Boy with cold dis.
dain)-"Size amt nothn'! When my
father coughs you can hear him half
mile !'-Chicago Tribune.
Elderly Maiden Govt rowing with
possible sutton and little sister who is
frightened by the wavcs) -''Theodora
If you are so nervous now, what will
you be at my age?' Little Sister (meekly)
-"Thirty-scven, suppose. Edible,
Stranger-''I notice you called your
friend Professor. Is he really a pro-
fessor?'.' Boweryitc 81 should say SO.
Why, dat fcicr sWoiIers u sword eighteen
inches, stands on his CIR and eats glass
out OF curn. Professor? Well. I
should lust smile. NJ York tierald.
&RAns<Eshnk6S