Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1893-02-23
OUR BUDGET OF HUMoR,
BRIGHT SPARKS FROM THE
GENlUSES OF WIT.
The Domestic Catechism - The
Truth About Apple Pie--Poor
Mans Land--He Was Orig
inal--He Has a Fu-
ture.
The Domestic Catechism.

The Domestic CatechiSm.
The other day, a thin, tired-looking
man entered the office OF a printing.
house, and, approaching the proprie-
tor, said
II want to have q list printed.
Suppose you write it down as l tell
YOU"
The proprietor made ready, and the
man said: eyes; Pm sure l locked
the front door. Have you got that?''
Eyes; but 1 don't understand"
"Never mind; don't interrupt me
till I have finished. Are you ready?"
eyes"
"And turned out the light in the
bathroom"
"All right; I've got it,"
"The kitchen windows are fasten-
ed"
"Yes."
"The dog is in the cellar"
eyes"
''Ihe servants are all in"
eyes"
' ' stable door is locked"
''The kitten is out OF DOORS"
Eyes"
II turned off the draughts of the
range"
Eyes"
mo, ! do not smell smoke"
"Yes."
mo, the water is not running in the
bathroom"
"Yes."
81 do not think hear anyone try
ing to get into the house."
Yes"
'No, that is not our dog barking;
the one next door,"
"Yes."
ut is not necessary to go down and
see if the cellar door is fastened. I
know it is"
"Yes."
''rhat is nobody--it is only the
wind rattling the shutters"
eyes"
"Well, l think that's about all.
You see, my wife asks me certain
questions every night just as I am get
ting into bed, and if had printed
list | could show to her it would save
lots OF trouble. Besides that, it in
jures my lungs to answer them. Have
the lists printed as soon as possible,
please"
The Truth About Apple Pie.
They had started a conundrum
club, and every one was expected to
come prepared with number of good
ones.
give got one," Anderson said.
"What is it," oueried the rest.
"When is an apple pie2"
He stopped, and everyone looked at
him, but said nothing.
"Well," asked a man across the
ROOM" go on. What did you stop
there for?"
go on? Where? What for?" he
asked.
"Why, go on with your conundrum.
When is an apple pie what?"
"That's what said,' he replied.
"Well, we know; but what is the
conundrum?"
"When is an apple pe?"
"Ihere isn't any sense in that" put
in another fellow. whats the rest
OF it,"
There isn't any rest" persisted
Anderson: "When is an apple pie?"
"When is an apple pie what?" yell
ed the others.
"Who said any apple pie what?"
"You did"
Il didn't say anything about an
apple pie"
you did"
81 didn't"
"You did"
II didn't"
And then the whole assembly sat on
Anderson, and when the police came
IN and rescued him it took ha!f-an-
hour to explain that an apple was
PIE when it was closed up with sugar
ana things, like any pastry. 1t
smashed up the club, though, and
the conundrum's usefulness is that
far established.
Poor Mans Land.
One day as rode along g. branch
OF the Cumberland river far up in the
kentucky mountains, where nature
was about as poor and scraggy as she
could well be, met a thin and sallow-
faced man coming up the bank from
a pretty shady pool with a fishing-pole
in his hand. Thinking I might take a.
turn myself at it spoket to him.
"Been fshing?" inquired, after the
usual salutation.
"Some?" he replied.
"Catch any thing?"
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