Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-12-03
SHE MADE A MISTAKE.
A Lady Thought She Saw DR.. HoSe at a
Circus.
A SHREWD SCOTCH PREACHER.
Curi-Papers Are Very ObJectionabie-A
Funny View Of yireinius "--Other
Short Stories.

Short Stories.
Rev. DR.. Moses ID. Hoge. the loved
and honored Presbyterian minister, has
always impressed me as being man
Of decided individuality. both as regards
his character and personality, but |
heard him tell an anecdote a few days
ago which convinces me that at least
In part, 1 am mistaken. According TO
DIR. Hoges story there used 10 be
gentleman here named William Gwath-
mey / think. who was very much like
him. Several amusing mistakes arose
from their remarkable resemblance, for
as you all know. a man who is not
preacher Is allowed by the public 10 DO
a good many things that would be de-
MED the clergy. On one occasion, just as
the Presbyterian minister alighted from
train I'm this city. an old darby
rushed up to him and seized his valise.
The Doctor naturally inquired what this
procedure meant, and the eb0n-hued ser
want looked up I'm amazement, and. see
ing that he had committed a blunder, re-
piled: "Why. lor. sir. l thought you was
Marse william" Now, this little mis-
take was all right, and II DR.. Hose
hadn't been so honest he might have IN
duced that darby to carry the satchel
TO his house before he ever made him
self known. But It's poor rule that
doesn't work both ways, and little
later the minister's prototype rather
got the better Of the man who resembied
him. Mr.. Gwathmey went TO circus
and while complacently smiling the
fresh mown sawdust,' and cogitatlng
upon the adyisabilty Of surreptitiously
giving the elephant chew of tobacco
he espied an Old straight-laced Presby-
terrain sister of his acquaintance.
why, l am surprised to see you here
said Mr.. Gwathmey. in real amazement.
The old lady was equal to the emer-
gency. for she replied; But you are
not half 20 much surprised as l am to
see you"
The blue-stocklng dame put such an
awful emphasis on that word you've
all know how they can express whole
world in one syllable sometlmes-that
Mr.. Gwathmey naturally became de-
moralized. and he meekly inquired why
his presence excited so much astonish-
ment. His acquaintance replied that she
didn't think circus was "a NJ place for
preachers 1t wouldn't have been, either
/ If some one had given that elephant a
chew Of tobacco just about that time.
But a. any rate. when Mr.. Gwathmey
sought further explanation he found
that he had been mistaken for DR. Hoge.
Just after relating the above incident
Dr. Hoge told another story to illustrate
| the fact that there are times when even
preachers DO get caught while indulging
! their worldly tastes. In this case, how
ever, the parson was equal-more than
equal. / think-to the emergency. Dr.
/ McGregor. learned and respected cler-
! gyman Of Edinburgh. once went 10 Lon
| don, and while in the great metropolis
| he heard that a celebrated actor was
/ starring there IN the Shakesperean
/ drama. The Scotch divine. who was an
! ardent lover of the immortal bard Of
]
| night he went TO the theatre. Perhaps
! no calculated on seeing none Of his
| friends-at any rate. he would have pre-
| ferred not TO- But alas ones friends al
WAYS have TIE knack Of bObbing up at
the wrong time, and so. just az the
/ preacher entered the playhouse he felt
hand on his shoulder and looking
round. he beheld n member OF his church.
What would your congregation say if l
I told them / saw you at the theatre?"
| said the friend of the minister in a stern
voice.
"They would say you were liar"
promptly responded the genial Scot land
I II you value your reputation you will
/ keep your mouth shut about it,
/ Or. Hoge didn't say what followed this
/ sharp piece Of repartee. and as ii is not
my purpose to give away secrets, I'm go
| ing TO end the anecdote with the two gen
| tlemen in the lobby of the playhouse.
| DO you think they saw the show?
!
! by the way, speaking about plays and
the theatre, It strikes me that the public
| taste has entirely turned against heavy
/ tragedies | saw Warde and James in
"Virginius" few weeks ago, and GER
! tainly they made all out Of the lines that
| could possibly have been made. but some
/ how or other the show impressed me as ri
/ diculous for our age. In the first place
| couldn't help thinking that the conven-
| tional Roman costume Of Appus Clau-
| dius's time must have been cold COM
fort" for a bleak November day. True.
any one who has been 10 the Eternal
! City" will admit that it's beastly hot
! there as a general thing but still II &C.
! ours 10 me that IL would be more appro-
/ PIRATE TO clothe Virglnius in q, pair Of
white-duck trousers. or TO change Appius
| Claudiuss flowing purple toga into a good
| substantial overcoat. This would be ana
chronistic admit. but then it wouldn't
! give the audience the shlvers.
| In the last act which Is intensely pa
| thetic. had TO chew the lining of my
| vest 10 keep from laughing. Poor little
| Virginia had been slaughtered with a
! butcher-knife before a bowling mob OF
supers-"sans culottes' should call them,
/ for trousers were unknown quantities
with the plebian throng-and they were
preparing to bring her ashes i'm an urn to
! her pa, who appeared TO take II awfully
/ hard Somehow or other / felt that II
was my duty 10 cry, just as we all do
/ when rich old uncle dies and bequeaths
US his fortune, but the saline drops Just
wouldn't ooze from my lachrymal glands
I To add to my discomforture the ftiend
/ j was with chunked me in the ribs and
! solemnly- whispered-"Look out. they're
| about to trot In the tooth-powders." At
| this tueture the orchestra struck up that
kind Of touching. cold-chills-up-your-b back
sort OF music that always makes you feel
\ like you ought 10 look unconcerned. and
amid profound silence the urn containing
the cnera of the defunct Virginia was
brought in. The jar looked like IL might
have contained gallon of cucumber
| pickles, though nothing in the previous
conduct of the Roman virgin had led me
| TO believe that there was any cause for
her to become soured after death. Her
pa kissed the urn again and again, and
ell the time the thoughts OF cucumbers
and tooth-powders were whizzling through
| my brain
My friend, despite the fact that he put
that dentifrice notion in my head, seemed
10 take the tragedy as seriously as II 1t
had been ball-game and the home team
was getting shut out
Once 1 noticed that some of the Ian
guage In the play appeared TO be a little
archaic, and remarked to him: why
1 IA.