The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1893-01-13
MERRY CHRISTMAS IN THE AIR.


A Club Man Who Thinks 1t Costs Good
Deal to Give That Greeting.
| Old Marley may or may not be as dead
rs doornail, but this is not Christmas
carol And yet it happens to be about
Christmas. There were Il lot of young
men in various indoent attitudes about
the loafing room Of Fifth avenue club.
They all belonged to class Of young
men who frequent the clubs for the red
son that they can get there Il month and
fifteen days credit for what thy eat,
drink and smoke, and thus are enabled
to live Il month and half ahead Of their
incomes. The oldest member of the
group was reading one of those alleged
humorous periodicals which blossom ont
in the holiday season with fearfully and
wonderfully illustrated legends. satircaI
Christmas stories and pithy maxims of
the peace on earth. good will toward
men order
THE man who wrote that was either
chump or liar, asserted the reader
suddenly. throwing down his paper
wv hat did he writer asked man
who was staring at the embers OF the
open fire.
why, the Poor Richard or King Solo
man, or Martin Upper who runs col
umn Of aphorisms in his blooming paper
says:
1t doesn't cost any money to wish
people merry Christmas
Now that fellow has never lived in
New York in about the social rut along
which we are grinding. or if he has he's
willfully supressing the truth. You fel
lows know as well us do that it costs
money, lots Of it, to wish people merry
Christmas. Why. without a moments
reflection any of us could string out a
long price list of assorted merry Christ
masses to wit:
Wishing elevator boy at your apart
ment house merry Christmas, from - to
So; wishing hall boy ditto. ditto; wish
ing washerwoman merry Christmas,
from 81 up; wishing elevator boy at
your office building ditto. ditto; wishing
merry Christmas to your office boy one
extra weeks salary; wishing ditto to
stenographer. ditto wishing Your waiter
wishing your barber the same. change
out Of the bill given up for Christ
mas shave; wishing merry Christmas to
hostler who takes care Of your horse. s.
ditto to stable for man one box cigars
$3.50.
AT every club we enter Christmas
list stares us in the face, and the uld |
doorman and the call boys, the coat check |
boy and the clerk keep one eye on the
list and the other on each entering menu
Der until he has added his autograph to |
the growing collection. If a fellow goes |
to law school or medical school ne
finds the janitor waiting in the hall on |
the last night before the Christmas re-
cess with a subscription list tackled up |
by the door and the gas lighter in his
hand as Il pointer wherewith to call at
tention to it. tell you there's no way
for single man in a big city to beat
this Christmas game. Talk about the
tariff being tax; it's nothing alongside
of Christmas. Money talks. and it's the
only kind of talk that goes in this merry
Christmas business.
''Of course fellow does get II present
from best girl or two occasionally. but
he has more than to make it up by return
presents direct. or indirectly by flowers
theater tickets, etc. Christmas is awfully
one sided. The companies, clients and
patients who employ us fellows never
wish us merry Christmas in the New
York vernacular."
NO" said the man who was still star
ing dreamily into the fire: the only way
to get square with the game is to marry,
and then your wife will buy Your pres
ents and have EN- charged to your nc
count"
And the back log snapped ont a shower
of sparks in emulation of this brilliant
of the difficulty. New York