Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1893-01-25
A PRETTY SLOW Town.

But He Was Not sure of It.
He wore faint smile of pleasure
when he walked into the downtown
drug store, unbuttoned his coat and
leaned with an air of expectancy
against a showcase.
Can 1 do anything for you?" asked
clerk.
well, maybe you can and maybe
You can't" answered the other, care
fully removing sIeck from his coat
sleeve. II don't know" he added, re-
hectively.
Anything in my power I'll be glad
to do" said the clerk, smiling encourag-
ingly
well, I'll tell you," answered the
stranger. II live over in Jersey. Ny
town is pretty slow. You might almost
call 1t dead I'm sure you would if you
went over there; only we're so used to
1t that we don't notice it much"
''Oh, yes" said the drug clerk, look
ing little dazed.
"Yes, exactly" said the other with
hattering smile. "You see, there is
never any excitement over our way; it's
just dead-dead as door nail. Now
coming over on the ferry boat to-day
BY the way, do you know much about
cholera?'
Cholera" asked the clerk, looking
startled. whats that got to do with
it"
"Why, yes, cholera Know anything
about the symptoms?"
"Symptoms!" said the clerk, with a
gasp, and he took two or three steps
backward and his eyes began to dilate.
"Symptoms-that's it. Should you
say, for instance, that 1 bad the chol-
era? Would you believe it, mean, to
look at me?'
The young man who dispensed drugs
began to back away, looking as if he
were waiting for chance to make a
break for the street.
''Oh, don't get frightened" said the
New Jersey man, with his calm smile
81 haven't got the cholera-no such
luck
'Luck!' exclaimed the startled clerk.
Eyes, luck. I'd call it luck to get an
A l, first-class, genuine, guaranteed case
of true Asiatic cholera, freshly import
ed"
why, man, you're craz-excuse me,
you can't mean what you say!"
MEAN what 1 say?" declared the
searcher for cholera. 81 mean every
word that say l tell you, sir, that 1
was born in the deadest town that ever
died was raised in it. l have lived
in that town for thirty-four years I'd
rather live in graveyard There
aren't even ghosts or spirits in my town.
Now that place has got to be walked up
If we don't do something we won't be
able to distinguish between dead man
and live man. Then we'll be in a
pretty nx, won't we? Well have dead
men-I mean really dead men bury
/ ing live Tnen-I mean men that breathe;
and we'll have live men hobnobbing
with mon that ought to have been
buried long ago. just because every
things 50 dead that it seems natural
''Oh, Of course" gasped the bewild-
cred clerk,
Nov that place has got to wake up.
There's only one thing in the world
that will wake it up That's cholera.
Now thought that I'd be willing to
catch the cholera and take it over there
just for the good of my town. I'm a
public spirited citizen and I'm willing
to make some sacrifice to benefit my
native town. But l found that they
would not let me catch it. Can't get to
| people who have the cholera-that is,
| can get there. but can't get away
again. OF course that wouldn't do any
good, would it? Would it now?''
"Of course not" answered the clerk,
ready to shout ''lunatic' at the first
sign of violence on the part of the yis-
itor.
'Of course not. That's just what I
thought So thought maybe could
| get up good imitation of cholera and
take it over there. I'd have it break
out as soon as got well into town. I'd
drop right down In the street and be-
gin to howl I'd kick and yell and dig
my nails into the ground and turn
summersaults. When the people got
around to me-of course it would take
long time, for it's slow town-rd
grab every body could reach and yell
cholera ! thought that would fetch
them. They'd have to rig up hospital
for me and get me into il and take care
of me. They'd get more or less inter
ested, you see. Then if I knew the
symptoms by heart, I'd go through the
whole business and by the time 1 was
convalescent thought that everybody
in the town would have heard that
had the cholera and that would do them
good 1t would wake them up, you see.
Now" added the New Jersey philan-
thropist, with philosophical smile,
"can you teach me anything about
symptoms? That's what 1 want to
know now, If can't get the cholera,
I'll have to take the next best thing.
Can't yoa help me out?"
I'm afraid not" said the clerk.
why don't you try dyGamite2 It's
easier"
"oh, that wouldn't do any good.
know them too we'll They'd think
dynamite explosions were church or
gan and they'd go right off to sleep
again.
Sorry, but l can't do anything for
you in the cholera way" said tho clerk.
"Well, goodbye, then. I'm sorry to
have troubled you. Perhaps it's just
as well to give It up. 1 amt sure that
one case would do much good anyway.
guess, come to think of it, that il
would take q whole shipload. I'll have
to wait Maybe I can got up Johns
town disaster or q Chicago fire and
maybe we'll have better luck With
cholera next season. Good day. sir,
and he rebuttoned his coat and walked
away with thoughtful arm Y.
THbpne.
Miss Mabel s. Cahill, young Irish
4