Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1893-04-28

the third person.
The world is full of wrecked loves an,
friendships caused by this third party
Not through designing malice, bu
through tactless laundering or stubborn
unelasticity, is the disaster brough
about in nine cases out of ten.
The people who have successfully
played the role in lifes drama are ex
ceedingly rare.
A greater array of unusual qualitie:
are required for this position than al
most any other calling in life demands.
Innumerable illustrations of the
strength and durability of friendship be
tween two women have come under my
observation, but l have found women
especially unfortunate in their efforts to
form trios of friendship.
Men, naturally less exacting in their
relations with one another and more
frank and outspoken in their methods,
render such comradeships possible now
and then.
But the qualities which make the wom-
an friend seem inadequate to meet the
exigencies of the third party's position.
have seen woman insist upon leav-
ing her comfortable home to act as nurse
or domestic for friend who was in
trouble quite against that friends desire
She performed her tasks with delight
and seemed disturbed by any expression
of thanks.
Yet when the same friend introduced
n lifelong, valued acquaintance into the
household the heretofore devoted and
self sacrificing woman refused to make
herself agreeable or useful.
The woman who loves to talk and the
woman who loves to listen find each 9TH
er's.society enjoyable year after year.
Let the talEative woman's friend APP
pear upon the scene, however, and we
find the unusually good listener distract
in manner and bored in expression. Or
let the listener introduce her friend and
the laxative woman becomes straight
way dull and silent.
The ingenuity of woman in devising
ways in which to be the disagreeable
third party is infinite.
The woman of the softest nature and
the sweetest disposition, whom you have
found unvarying in her amiability. will
suddenly develop the quilts of porcu-
pine at the introduction of a friend
whom you have long desired her to
meet. You have described her as the
essence of amiability, and she reveals
herself monument of aggressiveness or
frigidity.
Again, the friend who has ever been
the incarnation of cheerfulness and good
sense and whose quick responsive ma
ture has been your delight develops an
obtrusive humility when she is called
upon to play the third party. She makes
herself conspicuous by her absence from
accustomed places, shuts herself in her
room and obliges you to send for her,
and in reply to your questioning says:
"Oh, felt would be in the way. You
did not need me. would be de trop."
rendering You and your friend mex
pressibly uncomfortable.
The woman who has always seemed to
view the world through rose colored
spectacles and whose mantle of charity
has been large enough to cover the sins !
of a multitude will become the severest
and most relentless of critics when she |
attempts to be the third person. She |
Will call your attention to flaws in the |
appearance and manners of Your friends |
which you had never previously OBJ |
served, and she will unea.th hidden
faults of character or disposition never
before noticed by You.
Sometimes she does this openly and |
with no attempt at concealing her critic
al spirit.
Again she will sugar coat her remarks, |
leaving the impression at first that she
has complimented your friend, until a
later analysis of her words undeceives
you.
What very pretty smile your guest
has!' she will say. II never saw wom-
an with such ugly teeth whose smile was
so agreeable" Or: What very fine APP
pearance she makes for such slovenly
person! After all, think such people
get along quite as well and receive as
much admiration as those who take more
pride in being neat and orderly"
OF course you are never able to think
Of your friend again save as slovenly and
the possessor of ugly teeth-two points
which had previously escaped your OBJ
servatlon.
Then there is the woman you have al
ways found ready to anticipate your
slightest wish and thought when alone
with her, who becomes curiously obtuse
in the role of third party.
She never thinks to leave you alone
with the newcomer now and then, who
may have sorrows or joys to confide to
you alone, and you dare not suggest this
to her lest she imagine You mean to talk
about her or that you are shutting her
from your confidence.
You have no idea of the depth Of my
affection for YOU" said one woman to
another in my hearing once upon a
time. Il would be perfectly happy to
relinquish all personal aims could / be
near you, and your slightest annoyance