St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-07-29

WE WERE a LONESOME LOOKING MAN.
As editor, mayor and senator, there is no
doubt of our being the Ward McAllister of
a very large extent of territory, but now
and then an individual rises up and at
tempts to hurt our society feelings Such
was the case last Friday evening when
Mrs Colonel de Verde of Arizona place
gave birthday party and left us out in
the cold. She told some of her friends that
she did it to rebuke our egotism, and we
were no doubt rebuked. In leaving us out
in the cold Mrs de Verde brought disaster
upon herself Viewed from the McAllister
standpoint, her party was a fiat failure
Half the people present used the finger
bowls to drink from, the coffee was sweet
ened with New Orleans moiasses, and she
was II napkins short when refreshments
were served. To further rebuke us she in
yited the wretched old critter whom we are
obliged TO refer to as our esteemed con-
temporary and he sat at the head of the
table and hollered for tripe and lemonade
and corned beef No wonder the party
broke up at 10 o'clock and rushed the gate
off its hinges in the mad desire to get
away Yesterday morning Colonel de Verde
was taken to Wyoming under arrest We
have known for q year that he was want
ed" there. When the colonel eonspired
with his wife to pour ice water down our
social spinal column, we felt it our duty to
send off brief telegram giving his locar
tion. We are not a revengeful man, but we
have policy to carry out. We have pro-
vided ourself with swallow tailed coat,
white vest, billed shirt and other adjuncts.
We have read up our etiquette. We know
when the celery should be removed and the
fried eggs brought in We know when the
salad should be gently retired and the ice
cream quietly substituted. An attempt to
snub us may justly be considered a blow at
society and will be certain to result in dis
aster to the snubber.
THE WORLDS sFAIR.-Colonel Keogh, our
valued and enterprising correspondent at
the Worlds fair, thus gives our readers his
first impressions of Chicago: "Durn my
hide, but it beats a cyclone trying to over
take stampede of the whole herdl Chi
cago is simply immense Wasn't founded
by anybody IN particular, but they woke
up one morning and found mere'n million
people here A few old critters who didn't /
like whisky kicked for water, and the city
went at it and dug hole which reaches
clean across to Muskegen and way up to
Mackinaw They call it Lake Michigan,
.
round. Not much pasture land and no
adobe houses, but everybody moving around
as if there had been cloudburst up coun-
try and 10 foot rise Of water was expected
every minute Went out with the boys the
first thing Been out with the boys several
times Going out with the boys every day
4 stay here More'n a million boys to go
out with, and every blamed one of 'em has
got the right sort of brand on. Saloon here
most everywhere you go, and nobody drinks
alone Saloons are on wheels and keep
moving right along with you SO as to save
time. Got one river here and will have as
many more as the people want. Object is to
make everybody feel at home and split up
the scenery into hunks SO that each resident
can have some. Women walking around
wherever you go, and nobody thinks of
Iassoing them. More'n million women, 1
and every one worth cents a pound on the
hoof. Was introduced TO royalty right
away. Don't remember what royalty he
was. but he held royal flush to my two
pairs and raked in sl5 of good Arizona
money People here show a great desire to
obIige | could have got a room at S. per
day good enough for a millionaire Owner
offered to consider me a millionaire if |
would take it. Policeman not only pointed
out station house to me, but took me II
and had my name put on the visitors book.
They don't wear buckskin suits here as a
rule but don't object to a stranger dress
ing as he pleases. Shall go out to the fair !
in day or two Everybody is pleased
thus far, including the critter who got my
watch while was riding On street car
There is an immense roundup here from all
over the world, but Chicago is not over
crowded. You can't overerowd her. When |
the pressure reaches certain point, she !
bulges out and takes in another slice Of the |
state. This is generally done in the night. |
so the dust won't annoy people, and you |
wake up in the morning and find yourself |
s or miles farther away from the city |
hall than when you went to bed. There is |
one little piece of state left, believe, but |
it was overlooked by accident and viii be
taken in some night next week. /"
DlscouRAGING A NEWSPAPER.