The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-12-19
HOW 2 ARRIVED.
Getting Into London With a Tin Trunk
and an Appetite.

-AOSNO &HOO O'N
7 the Strand, Where the Bal GrO1Us an
oil Kinds Of Weather-Nye Plays
Golf and ScGtters Sweetness Abroad.
Copyright, 1898, by Edgar w. Nye.l
LONDON, THE LATTER PART OF :
AUTUMN, 1893.
When l left America, to bring refine
ment and the light of the gospel into
Great Britain and Ireland, I was told
to go to a hotel first and lodgings
afterward. A friend told me to go to
Browns hotel in the Strand. In land
ing at Waterloo station, which is handy
to the postoffice and court house, 1
took a four wheeler and had my nice
new tin trunk put on the top. This
trunk I borrowed of our hired girl,
Josephine Pinnero, heir apparent to
the throne of Ranpano, king of the
common people on the coas of Africa.
She loaned me her trunk. 1t is of
tin, painted to resemble a typical sun
set, and has a handle on the top, l
q to pay my board in advance while
l carried that trunk. If it had been
full of coupons, it would have made no
difference. With that and a soft felt
hat 1 could have boarded among pick
pockets all winter with safety.
Where to, sir9" came the gentle,
ginny voice of the cabman.
Browns hotel, Strand, " I answered
as l finished up a bag of popcorn which
I brought from home.
There is no BrownsoteI on the
Strand, SIR" says the Driver, who was
clined in a stiff manner to help me
close out the popcorn.
"Well, is there another Browns
hotel2" 1 asked as I blew up the paper
bag and busted it in the ear of a police
man, with a ringing laugh.
Yes, sir. There's one on Dover
street, sir
"Well, go there, colonel" said I,
land don't spare your stock. Pound
him on the back, for I'm as hungry as
a grizzly at an afternoon tea"
1 entered London at night as Sulius
Caesar did, so that people would not
desert their business to come to the
train, thus leaving their homes and
shops a prey to burglars and robbers.
The ruse was successful. No one was
there to crowd the streets and longest
traffic.
We drove to Browns hotel on Dover
street, and I was soon assigned to the
room which seemed to match my steer
age trunk and Ellis island bag. It
was nine shillings per day, but that
did not include amount brought for
ward, attendance, use of electric light,
bath, use Of poker and fire shovel, use
of fire escape. breakfast, luncheon,
dinner, tea and coffee, sugar, milk, use
of sugar tOngs, desserts, ices, suppers,
wear and tear of napkin, children's
board, board Of velvet, sherry, ma
deira, corkage, port, use of corkscrew,
c~laret, sauterne, burgundy. chablis
hook, moselle, champagne, use of nut
crackers, liquors, spirits (of just men
rectlfied, l presume,) ale and stout,
aerated waters, cigars, sundries and
breakage.
did not remember that l broke any
thing, so 1 asked about it. No bill at
a hotel is correct without an item for
breakage.
beg pardon" said I, with wonder
full grace and civility, ''but I cannot
remember that I have broken anything
except the shell of a soft boiled egg
day before yesterday, and that is a
common offense."
Very true, indeed, said the cashier,
a beautiful, long-waisted girl, with a
voice like a meadow lark, ''but you
forget that the egg was a surprise and
shock to you, sir, and that you broke
one Of the commandments at the
time"
l was so knocked out that she stood
with her watch in her hand and counted
me out according to ring rules. 1 did
not even venture to say what was true,
that they were not her commandments,
but I paid the charge, which was two
and six.
Yet Browns is a good hotel, and the
price of board and lodging there is not
high. 1t is when you ask whether it is
likely to rain or not, or use the ink
stand or door mat that the bill runs up.
Your receipted bill also has a stamp on
it, which l presume you pay for under
heading of lick yours Qiqueurs) Scot
land Yard joke.)
Yesterday ali day I played golf. 1