Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-11-11
THE PAUPER MoNOpOLIsT.
How He Flourfshed Until an Unex-
pected Marriage Occurred.

pected Marriage Occurred.
Jerome K. Jerome In The Ijler
II happened in tiny Yorkshire village
q peaceful, respectable spot, where folks
FOUND life a bit slow. One day however,
new curate arrived, and that woke things
UP considerably. He was a nice yonug
man, and, having large private income
or his own, was altogether a most desira BILE
catch. Every unmarried female in the
place went for him with one accord But
ordinary feminine Establishments appeared
10 nave no effect upon him. He was a
seriously inclined young man and once in
tne course OF a casual conversation upon
the subject of love, he was heard to saw
that he himself should never he a,,rac,as
by mere beauty and charm What would
appeal TO him, he said would be a womsn.s
goodness-her charity and kindness to tho
poor.
wen. that set the petticoats all think
ing. They saw that in STUDYING fashion
plates and practicing expressions they had
been going upon the wrong tack The card
for them to play was the poor" But here
a serious difficulty arose. There was only
one poor person in the whole parish, a
cantankerous old fellow who lived in a
tumble-down cottage at the back OF the
church, and fifteen able-bodied women
eleven girls, three old maids and widow
wanted to be good" TO him. Miss Sim.
monds, one OF the old maids, got hold of
him first and commenced feeding him twice
day with beef tea, and then the widow
boarded him with port wine and oysters,
Later In the week others of the party
drifted In upon him and wanted to cram
MIN with jelly and chickens. The old man
couldn't understand it. He was accustomed
10 snlali sack OF Goals now and then, ac-
companieo by a long lecture on his sins,
and an occasional bottle of dandelion leo
This sudden squirt on the part of Proyi-
dence puzzled him. He said nothing, how
ever, but contrived to take in as much NJ
everything as he could hold At the end of a
month he was too fat to get through his
own back door,
The competition among the women folk
grew keener every day, and at last the Old
man began to give himself airs, and to
make the place hard for them. He made
them clean his cottage out and cook his
meals, and when he was tired of having
them about the house he set them to work
IN me garden. They grumbled a good deal
ana there was a talk at one time OF a sort
or strike. but what could they do? He
was the only pauper for miles round and
knew 1t. He had the monopoly, and, Ike
an monopolists he abused his position. He
made them run errands He sent them out
70 puy MS baccy," at their own expense
On one occasion he sent Miss Simmonde
out with jug TO get his supper beer She
tiy ieluseI at nFSt nut ne told her
mat II she gave him any Of her stuck-up
airs out she would go and never come into
his house again. II she wouldn't do IL there
We're plenty OF others who would Sh a
knew 1t and went
They had been In the habit of reading to
him-good books with an elevating ton
dency. But now he put his foot down upon
that sort of thing. He said he didn't want
sunday school rubbish at his time of life
What he liked was something spicy. And
ne made them read him French novels
and seafar1nV tales containing realistic
Language. And they didn't have to skin
ANYTHING either. or he'd know the rea son
why. He sold he liked music so a few
or them cluhbed together and bought him
harmonium. Their idea was that they
would sing HYMNS end plav hiph-cless
rno'od'es but It wasn't HE rIis idea vac
x eepine un the old girls birthday and
'She -tnkef the other eve" with chorus
sang. 'S
To what 1anvths his tyranny would baya
zone IT Is difficuIt n saw bod not an event
hannened that BROUGHT his power n a
nren'atllre collancA This was tha curo -e,s
sudden and sonauhat rneNpected Maria ga
wffN n he"ut'Frl hlrlesnua actraas rrbo
had latnlv been performing In q ne,ehhorino
town. He cave no the church on his e, :
eareoent In CONSEQUENCE ~ his Nance's
onfecf'or IN hecorning rninie-ar's uifa
She satH ehA cou'a nevar "trr,hIa TO-, 81 /.
district visiting. WITH the rr,ra tee uad AIN
the old oaunAr's hrief career Of r,rosnar,,y
Anded. They hacked him o~ 70 tho -,-ori.
ho"sA after that and made him break