The herald., 1893-08-06

disturb her, or she'll break my orna-
ments," This, meseems, could not have
been excelled by the most hardened
profigate on the stage.
MY aunt left very slowly and deliber-
ately, mourning for the loss of her tea.
escorted her and Uncle John down to
the first floor. How could tell that her
housewifely zeal for her nephew could
have led her to bestow upon the house
maid, who was Fan of the Teeth, a few
hints on the best management Of fires
and the proper care Of the room. which
the fellow servant was even then sup
posed to be cleaningp
"You see, it all means more work for
you in the end" said my aunt.
dashed into the sitting room TO and.
helpless with suppressed laughter, the
maiden with the black velvet hat. I was
coatless, as has been recountod--people
never stay long with man who lacks a
coat-lny hair was on end, and was
flushed. But there was no resisting that
infection of mirth. laughed aloud. The
air was dense with dust, and all the fur
niture was out of place. '~That fool Of
housemaid" had lived up to her repu-
tation.
"Haven't done the room beautiful
lyp" she said, with a wicked giggle.
"Thank you--thank You, oh, 90 much
for helping mel"
"Not in the least" said I. ''I've got
sister of my own. But hadn't youbet-
ter'---- ss is
Is "I'm gone" she said, and vanished st
the word to hunt for her brothers cham
bers. if a
Entered, her cap over one eye, Fan Of
the Teeth, boiling with rage. She was
an austere woman of SO, not to be trihed
with. t
"And I'm sure me and Lucy, too, we
takes all the trouble that we can
with II sets of chambers to be gone
through, and the bells ringing ON every
landing all day long. 'Tisn't as II Twas
afraid of my work, for ave KEEP my
self ever since / was httlo girl Of thir-
teen, nor Lucy neither. But when that
lady on the staircase spoke to me an tole
me that was inattentive an Lucy, too,
an smuts all about your room, sayin
that was to take extra care Of you, sir, !
was put out.
"Do as you would be done by, thinks,
an show no favor to any chambers moro
than another, for some one must lose by
it, and if it isn't you it will be some 9TH
or gentleman. An there aren't no smuts
In your room not to be seen. an Lucy, /
know she as been on the Fourth floor
,;,,o ,<,,,1 ,ys,,.,,, x.,;Af, <l, .f<,,,a 5,,sS
didn't say nothink to that lady when
she said what she said-an Lor, sir, what
ave you been doin to the furnichewre-
all pulled across the room? An you 'avin
to see your friends in your bedroom AS
If it was our faultr'
Fanny" said I, s'if there has been
any fault, that fault is mine. Take, oh,
take those lips away, and-here's half
sovereign"
1t was damning confession of guilt.
received as such. Fan removed herself
with an unholy light in her eye.
Ihated Fan, and this still further shook
my nerves. Worn with thousand con-
flicting emotions, fed to the sideboard
and pulled myself together with the nec-
essary liquids. Men never seem to do
that on the stage after any unusual cri-
sis. They do in the prosaic world of real
life.
Re-entered Fan, the half sovereign in
her hand, and placed it on my table.
'I've took them in their teas" she
said oracularly, IAN she was tellin i'm
all about it. She is real nice little
lady, she is, an-an don't want no 'arf
suffering for that"
No comedy that / could think of had
any mention Of the soubrette-to be
sure, Fan was rather too angular for the
Notwithstanding tip.
sAnd you're lady, too. Fan," said /.
"Keep it, Few people return money.
Still fewer dismiss preconceived suspi-
cions."
She withdrew slightly alarmed.
stepped into the hallway to set down
the empty soda water siphon In the
place appointed. The door leading to
the landing was half open. I heard
voices descending the stairs.
"He was really very nice, Joe, about
it. Said he had a sister Of his own and
laughed"
''H'mph. Then I'm sorry for his sis
ter, that's all. He drinks like fish.
Why, only last night found him on his|
hands and knees on the second hoor]
and had to help him to bed."
The next chambersl AS hope to clear
my character before all judges, it was
the man in the next chambers! had
heard the internal din of that episode at
o'clock in the morning, and few Of
Joe's comments as he left the dFunkard.
How should the maiden know exactly
into whose rooms she had penetrated,
and here was Joe saddling me with my
neighbors booted slumbers.
! / gripped the siphon head in an agony
Of wrath. The steps were almost oppo-
site my landing. There was more soda
water than thought for in the tube, and
the Internal concoction exhausted itself
with fizzle, spit and grunt. 1t seemed
TO roar through the house.
e"Therew said Joe. "You hear, Milly?
That's a soda water siphon. He's at 1t
again-so early"
r '''But he didn't look as if he took
The sweet voice died away, and was
alone with my sorrow and my siphon.
Today know something Of plot and
construction, and, as I say, ! under
stand the verisimilitude Of the modera
French farce. Yet would ! sell all ny
insight for the single privilege Of ex-
I'll Al.rn