The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-08-30
FUNNY SIGHTS ATTHE FAIR
Some Mistakes Visitors Make That
Greatly Amuse Other
Sightseers.
How the Exit Stiles COST Two
Visitors From the Country
q Dollar.
Story of a Columbian Guards Photograph
An Economical Way to Secure
Fleet of GOndelns.
Special to The Independent,

bWeCh tbc NohNoak Va Ae
krupp exhibit. A magnificent bathing
place, the mercury standing at ninety ST,
deerees-thousands OF men and boys will
plenty of time and a superabundanee OF In
slination-imagine the result Hundreds
of bnthors cutting up all sorts of antics,
the air r~esounding with their shouts and
laughter. the sun reflected from their wet,
hin skin and the beach lined with hun
drsds of ladies green. or perhaps we should
properly say perspirinG, with enyy.
They tell a good joke on two country
swains who, with their airls. were doing
the big fair. They had wandered about
hand in hand for an hour or two and finally
came to the sixty-third street entrance on
either side of which the exit stiles are To-
Gated. Their attention was finally at
tracted to these stiles and the signs above
them. Il say, Jim, what do you suppose il
in them?" Dun no." Lets 20 in and
see." 90, how nice it will be TO see ar
exit" said one of the girls. SO they tim
Idly approached the turnstile. looked foi
the ticket seller. but not observing him they
passed through to see the exit" but found
the street only. They laughed hea tilv
aud FASTENED to ~rGturn, but found the turn
stiles turned only one way. They could not
return. A half dollar apiece for readmis-
sion did not tend TO add to their good ma
tute, but the experience was worth some
thing. This is an old joke. but it was new
TO our country cousins.
Two young men. Presumably from the
country, were looking at the Tiffany dis
play OF diamonds and jewelry. For a few
moments they examined them in a ~lissless
sort of manner when enc of them sud
denly exclaimed, 20. pshaw! Bill. Don't
let US fool away no more time here. Let ia
20 and look at thsm-Arabs." And with
brighter eyes and rapid strides they took
the shortest cut for the Midway P%laisanoe.
Near one of the entrances to the liberal
art gallery Is y fine bust Of Othello holding
in his hand the handkerchief that wns the
sou ce of SO much trouble to him. One hot
afternoon a couple OF ladies approached.
when the following Dialogue occurred: 20,
Mary. see here; what is this?" Mary looked
nance, and then Frightening up she ex-
elaimed: 'Oh. yes. that Is one of Shakes-
peare's characters. That is the Merchant
of Venice with his pound Of flesh" Why,
of cou &c." said her companion, II might
have known that"
there has been much delay and not a
little annoyance in obtaining pasaes to the
Worlds fais by those who are justly en-
titled 10 them. There have also been some
very amusing incidents sandwiohed in with
the ve1ations. red tape, etc.
The Worlds fair commission reGuii es
that every pass shall bear the photograph
of the helde-. All these photographs are
made by one firm who number them and
then send them to the department.
where they are finally pasted in thu
pass book and delivered to the holder.
This is not a small matter wheu one con
siders that there afe over 10000 holders of
rasses, and it 10 no wonder shat mistakes
sometimes occur.
Recently q Columbian guard dressed in a
brand new uniform and ] swelling with
pride and impo,tanco had his photograph
taken and in q few days called at the de-
pa tment headquarters, received his pass.
placed il in his pocket and went his way,
his face beaming with satisfaction. An
hour or two later he CHANGED to be in COM
pany with some LADY friends when the quss-
passi" one Of them asked. Yes" be re-
piled, II got il this morning." And is
your picture in It" Yes. %. Is. US
il from his pocket. Il don't know how
good it is for l have mos looked at it my
self" With this he opened it. and behold
there was the picture OF a little, fat old man
dressed in citizens clothes and with a head
as bald az Mt. Shasta. Twas only e. slight
mistake on Inc puIt Oh HOtue QUO al iulspldC-
ing q picture, but il made lots OF fun for
the girls and cost the guard several dishes
of ice cream.
few DAYS ago a lady. elegantly attired
snd wearing n beautiful gold watch fas-
tened 10 he dress BY a GOLD pin, approached
the entrance. deposited her sickes and
passed into tho grounds. just "a she
started to move away from the tnrnstite q
gentlemanly guard approached her and
said. II beg yonr pardon, lady, but would
it not be safer to carry that costly watch in
q less conspicuous placer" The lady
stopped. faced the gnard, Strengthened up
to her fullest height, and in tones that
would freeze a marble statue, replied,
Permit me, sir, TO inform you that it ia
none Of yopr business where ! car my
watch. Be Kind enough to attend to your
own affair."" and with an hyperion toss of
the head she moved off and was lost in the
crowd. For ten minutes the guard walked
around HIS beat ondeavo ing to thaw out
out and, in the meantime, rhiioaophiZNlg
on the p cuiia tiles of the gentle se1. S ID
denly his attention was called to what
seemed to be a crazy woman vino, with
flushed face and hat hanging to her hair 10y
the hat pin, rushed up 80 him and in ey-
cited tones. punctuated with wild jesticula-
tions. exclaimed: II say, Mr.. Grard, come
quick. Como quick, | say, some one has
stolen my watch. Why don't you hurry
and get it for me?" While she ,aused for
an instant to catch her breath, the guard
who had not yet returned to his no NAL
Temperature. looked at her, recognizing her
az the lady who had so effectively con-
gealed him q few moments before and then
very coOliy replied: Madam, permit me
to inform you that 1t is none of nv bust
mss whers you wear you watch, or what
you have done with 1t. If you want your
watch be kid enough TO 90 and find it,
mud vet the iad complu'ns that the guards
e!e dlscOurteous and inefficient.