The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1893-05-25
HUMOR OF TIE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd. Curious, aad Lsughabso
Phases Of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed By Eminent Word Artists Of
Our Own Day.


IT takes the professional fisherman
to tell catchy yarns. Troy Telegram.
HEIR RAISING INTELLIGENCE -
"Triplets at your house. ."-Hh~tou
Courier.
JAG>oN saws it is astonishing how
bad most good fellows are. Elmira
Gazette.
WITH the expert tailor taking ones
measure is la a~gely Il matter Of form.
Troy Press.
I'VE got the drop on you, said the
ink-bottlc to the new carpet
Ro hester Chronicle.
ALL work and no play makes the
girl with piano popular next door.
-Binghamtun Leader.
IT is strong boarder who can eat
three plates of hash without turning
a hair. Boston Courier.
Too MANY bright young men try to
make their conversation spicy with
Cloves. .-ialveStOn News.
4 GUN is quite human in one re-
spect. 1t generally kicks wheH it is
| discharged. Rochester Democrat.
No CHANGES made in the postofficc
| will ever make some males more regu-
lar than they are now. w.-Philadclphia
| Times.
EVERY man has his influence. :"
but sometimes has hard time to ind
it when he is in a hurry.
Plaindcalcc.
ONE of the poets says we can'o live
without cooks and many lad;c; say
they can't live with them -Phila-
delphia Times.
TIE fellow VINO bet on popular
olrsmln and got stuck says there 9
always a thorn t. the rows.-Bing-
hamton Leader.
| THAT a talent for money king
isn't always Il go d thing m my an i'm
pri>uncI conntcrfeitcr can testify
Buffalo Courier.
"I WILL now attend to this writ OF
attachment. said the youn, lawyer
who was compo sing a love !c ter. -
Washington Star.
|
in the city streets doesn't imply try.
Jug to stop their "chcw-chewing. y
Philadelphia Times.
CADBY-rd like TO E,lrry Miss
Richie on one account. Fadf'y-What
is that? Cadhy-IIer bank account
Harvard Lampoon.
W. EN it comes TO dine museum
a,tru tionS the fat woman can pu,
the living skeleton in the Shade every
day.-Elmira Gazette.
DID the term "Woolly West" orig
mate in the unpleasant fact that
m my an investor has been ileecet
there? Lowell Courier.
CAPTAIN. why do they distribut.
liquor to sailors on >hipaolrd? We'll
YOU knew, every Jack shun.d have hi
"-Philadc|phia Record
Mis- EICKETTs-Why don't yo'
marry Mr. Mum? Are your parent
oppos ID to it? Miss G;ddy-No, bu
? Mr.. Mum seems to be.-Noyuc.
AT Il Chicago ball: Pork 'r--Slr
: what do you mean by walking owe
that lady's foot? New Yorker
Thund ration, man, do you thin
7 I've got wings?
PHECErToE-Of course you want t
go to heaven, W ic? Willie
should say not. l amt enough sturl
i on pulling off grandpa's boots 70
{ that. detroit Tribune.
LITTLE RoY-Thc hens out Wcs
must he awful little. Mamma VIII
SOP Little Eoy-Unc.c John say
, he's seen hail-stones there as large a
9 hen'Seg yS-Good New.
; IL spite of the fact that indcibl
: ink has been found in banaua juice
every one who steps on the peel
:, inci,Eed to DO considerable rcmark
r ing g--Chicago Inter Ocean.
lT's big job t. lick the Colunl
bian stamps. but this country can d
it. 1t was bigger job to lick Kin
= Georges stamps in the revolution
:. | but still W. go. there. c.--Philadclphi
Times.
IL WANT" said the aStronomc,
y "an in cription for my new tclcscor
which shall he in the nature OF a
address to the stars" "How " tul
q Here's looking at YOU do?"-Buffai
). Express.
d allow SHALL | enter the none
: the cashier skipped with?' aske
= the lookkccpcr. "Undcr the prof
. and loSs?" mo; suppose you put
i under running expenses. "-Societ
1t Journal.
&c SUFFICIENT EvIDENCE.-Sambo-
:. "Whar you get dat chickcn?" Mar
d Antony Ncbbcr you mind bout d;
- chicken. ;Taint yours. "How yo
y know 'taint?" "'Causc found hit
IS youah coop. New York World.
10 Do YOU think because young w
10 man always appears neat and tId
that she spends the greater part
her time with thread and needl
!, Before. coming to this conclusion it
l. we'll to examine her mothers left for
=, 1 naeto,