Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-09-14

the greatest works of physicians,-,
Schalk.
The Foreigner-'Vairi is yet seefy YOU
all Moo York.? 1 hat nefer been zefe.-
The BrooIynite (grufny)-''BetweeR
Brooklyn and Jersey Oity.-Atlantic
Constitution.
There is baker on Somerset street
whose s.Sn reads: Adam Frescfi,
baker Philadelphia Enquirer.
Tom-"You want TO borrow money!
Why. you refused the loan l offered
you yesterdays Cholles-''Wel. yester-
day | was merely hard up for few
necessaries. Today l need it for some
luxuries I've just learned of''-Atlanta
Constitution.
Clara (after her song)-Did my voice
! fill the room? Prunella-No. it emptied
| it-Truth
Miss Buchi:-'Did you ever read of
/ the coral groves?' Miss Illinois:-"Law
yes-that's where they keep the sea
horses. '-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
rs your show making expenses ?'I
! asked the managers friend. Il should
say So" was the reply It's making
more expenses every week."-Washing-
! ton Star.
Did your new cook bring good rec
concentrations from her last employ
err" I'm going to find out as soon
as she has an afternoon at home."-
! Denver Times.
Mrs. Newcook-"Oh, dear! rm
| n f.ai pr.i1
| in cooking." What has she done?'r
why, wants to make flannel cakes
right now, when moths are the very
worst."-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
1t was in one of the localities where
soda water intemperance f1ourishes-
He was very sleepy and remarked.
My dear, l think ! shall lie down. L
haven't had more than forty winks
today" John" she exclaimed. DO
you want me to put you in an inebriate
asylum Washington Star.
AT last I've got a way of gittin'
ahead of the waiters,' said Uncle Silas.
You manage to get your meals on
time, do you?" Eyes, Stree" How
do you do it," "Soon's 1 finish my
dinner I order my supper an begin
Waitin' then and there" -Washington
Star.
us that a suspicious characterT'
asked the summer resort visitor of the
policeman. mo. He's all right"
He seems to have such a furtive, ap-
prehensive way about him" Yes.
You often see that here. He had his
picture taken in his bathin' suit and he's
afraid of being recognized by it,
Washington Star.
Fitztibs: you ah in M thoughts
constantly" Miss Whistler: Can you
see me?" CAV, yes-of co'ser "Then
could get in."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Emma-''What's that noise? 1t
sounds as though they were pounding
beefstcak." Jane-''You speak right;
but we always speak of the perform
ance here as rendering a banquet
"And she rejected your" eyes"
Are you going to commit Suicide?''
"Not much" ''Ah, you still have hope,
then going to try again." Mike
But you told me you couldn't live
without her. yes, it was true at that
time, but I've had an Inheritance of
my own since then. CHICAGO Tribune.
Billson-Why, Imike, your breath
seems labOred Smike-Thash the (hicl
load she's caTryin' cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Bingo- Things always taste the same
i'll this house. Mrs. Bingo-You mustn't
complain, my dear. We have had the
same cook for two days-Chicago
Tribune.
Mrs. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT sort of a.
thing is a magazine rifle, anyway,
Ebenezer? Did you ever see one?
Mr.. MeadOwlot- but it's some new
tangled invention for them editors
to shoot poets with, suppose.-BuffaIo
Courier.
Cat base ball game Stiggins-What
enormous ears that little pitcher has
Wiggns-Quite appropriate. [ have
been told at least thousand times
that little pitchers have big ears
70