Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1893-01-19
TESTED WITH a BATTERY.

How q Member Of Flshing Party Found
the Stolen Plum Pudding.
Ex-District Attorney Sullivan, of San
Francisco, told an Examiner reporter
an amusing story the other day. "a
few years ago." he said, ''Dr. Living
stone. one or two others and myself
were camping in Lake county. We had
a canned plum pudding, which we
priced very highly, and stable boy
who was not bad in his way. just IS
we reached Saratoga Springs the plum
pudding disappeared, and we rather
suspected the stable boy, but suspicion
wouldn't tickle our palates or fill our
stomachs. In cur outfit was an cleo
trio battery, and determined to tr:' it
as thief-catcher and mechanical de-
tective. / herded all the cooks, soul
lions and walters about the place. and
stood them in a row with the stable
boy. Then I made little speech. tell
ing them of the theft of the plum pud-
ding and asking the guilty one to con-
fess. No one peeped, and the most in
nocent-appearing person in the COM
pany was the suspected stable boy.
Very WE'LL said, sternly, we have
here an instrument which detects
thieves as surely as a camera takes pho
tographs. The innocent it will in no
way affect, but it will cause the guilty
to suffer circulating pangs-in limbs
and conscience. Doctor, apply the test
With this Livingstone stepped out
with the battery. Placing the handles
of the apparatus in the hands of the
first man in the row, the doctor looked
him in the eye a moment, but didn't
turn on the current OF course the man
was not affected. and was declared in
nocent- So the doctor passed from man
to man until he came to the stable boy
AS soon as the lad gripped the handles
Livingstone pulled the machine wide.
open That night we Toasted on our re-
covered plum pcdd ing
woMLM'S GREATEST cHAgM5.
Man Likes Ter Ic~t When 10 Doesn't
Know THY.
The exquisite thing about woraan's
charm, the thing that makes it 50 de-
iciorsly i-rcs;3tibic. is its very undo
irabiencss. 1t hes = fascination SONIC
what akin to that of the mysterious ard
the uaknoUabic. Man experiences the
perfect. exquisite happiness of the ire
sistiblcnesS of voraans charm only
when he doesn't know why and doesn't
want to know. lie who would inquire
into what the charm consists would be
like the prcposterously proaaic individ-
ual who would aaaiysc the delicate fair
ness of the lily or tho rich beauty of
the rose. or w.:o would decompose the
brilliant flash of the diamond or assay
the pure gold.
The supreme happiness Of life. al
ways connected with woman's ic1u-
ence and womaa's association, is thing
for which man cannot account. He can
tell why he enjoys material things-fne
raiment. a good dinner or u bottle of old
wine. He knows why he delights in
the fair beauty of the landscape and
the rugged grandeur of mountain and
canyon. and why be is impressed with
the broad. billowy ocean. He under
stands his enjoyment of literature and
music. of the opera and the drama He
conp-chcnds the steady attractions and
qualification of \ congenial pursuit
But the Colorado Sun says he knows
not what makes the exquisite happi
ness of his life. He who can analyzc
the showers Of earthly good. but not
the dews of Eden; he who can give no
reason for his choice of a wife except
that he could not help it, makes tho
happy marriage. .es5