The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1893-02-11
The Professor of Signs.

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a learned man, but taciturn and eccentric,
had formed very strange ideas Of the i'm
portance of the language Of actions and
signs. He claimed that these could fill
the place of the language of sounds, and
that there should be in each university
Professor Of Signs One day this diplo-
mat was complaining to the king of the
neglect with which all countries treated
the cultivation Of this means of communi-
cation, and of the absolute lack of profess
OTIS of this admirable science The king
responded smilingly,
81 have a professor such as you speak
of; he is a very able man. He is sta
toned, however, at the most distant uni
versity in my kingdom, about six hundred
miles from here, in Aberdeen"
Though he should be in China, an
swered the ambassador, II must see him.
l will start this very morning"
He set out, and the king, not to be
thought cheat, sent messenger to the
University Of Aberdeen to announce the
arrival Of the curious traveller, and to
charge the professors to receive him with
all due ceremony, and to dispose of him as
soon as possible
The ambassador was welcomed with
great pomp, but he announced that he
wished to see nobody but the Professor of
Signs, whom he was awaiting with the
greatest impatience. He was told that the
professor was absent, having gone to exer-
else his art among the mountains of Scot
land and that the date of his return was
unknown.
"Well, will await him here, replied
the ambassador, although he should delay
for year,
The professors, seeing that this subter-
| fuge had not produced the desired result,
and that they should be forced to entertain
His Excellency for a long period, resolved
to employ some other means of ridding
| themselves of him.
There was in the city one-eyed butch
er named Geardi, good-natured man,
fond of a joke, who consented to play the
part of Professor of Signs. Having been
suitably instructed, he promised 10 main
tain the most profound silence, and not to
explain himself save by signs
The ambassador, being notified that The
professor had returned, showed the great
est delight, and at once appointed day
for conference with him. AZ the time
set, Geardi, dressed in doctors gown and
adorned with an enormous wig, was intro
duced to His Excellency, the ambassador,
who was expected to explain himself as
best he could TO the wonderful man who
had been presented to him.
The other professors withdrew to the
next room and awaited, not without great
trepidation, the result of the interview.
The ambassador approached Geardi and
lifted one finger; Geardi answered this
gesture by lifting two; the ambassador
raised three fingers; Geardi clenehed his
fist and shook it with menacing air.
The ambassador then drew an orange from
his pocket and showed it to Geardi, who,
in his turn, drew from beneath his robe
an enormous loaf.
The ambassador showed himself entirely
satisfied, made profound reverence, and
withdrew.
The professors, desirous of knowing how
their. colleague of the one eye had ac-
Quilted himself, questioned His Excellency
regarding the interview with the Professor
of Signs.
"Ah," he exclaimed, she is wonderful
man He is worth all the treasures Of
the Indies. l began by showing him one
finger to give him to understand that there
is but one God he showed me two, to
answer that there we're the Father and the
Son. raised three, to indicate the Faith
er, Son and Holy Ghost, whereupon he
showed me his shut fist, to tell me that
these three formed but one. Then l
showed him an orange, which denoted that
the kindness Of God not only bestows the
necessaries of life, but also the sweet aud
pleasant things that beautify existence,
That marvellous man held forth piece Of
bread, in order to say to lne that that was
the essential thing and preferable to all
the demands Of luxury and vanity.
The professors, enchanted at the happy
termination Of the matter, babe the am
bassador farewell, and sought Geardi, in
order that he might give his version Of the
interview.
aThat ambassador, he said, ''is an inso-
lent man. He showed me one finger, 10
criticisc me because have but one eye;
| showed him two fingers, to indicate my
one eye was worth more than his two;
then he insulted me by lifting three 6n-
gers, meaning that we had but three eyes
between US. Irritated by his impudence,
/ shook my fist under his nose and would
have shown him the force of my Scotch
muscles, except for the respect l have for
YOU. But his insolence did not stop he
took an orange from his pocket, to tell me
that my cold and miserable country pro-
: duced nothing Ike it; but l showed him
Scotch loaf, to make him understand
that bis oranges did not matter to me. |
was going to throw the bread in his face,
when he prudently made me bow and