The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1893-07-12


My bark's upon a darkling sea-
And no one stands beside me,
And no one minds the helm for me,
And no one cares 10 guide me.
And the man. il he be a true and hon
orable man, as he turns from the altar
tells himself that in this hour a new life
must begin for him-the old follies and
vices must be forsworn. the old compan-
ions forgotten, the crooked ways be
made straight and clean. He has prom
ised to love, cherish and protect" this
woman, land forsaking all others keep
himself only unto her so long as both
shall live"-solemn words and a large
promise, but he means it all-at least
We will hope most bridegrooms do.
They go home. and life begins, and for
some, perhaps one-half of those welded
couples, the early promise and the SOL
emn vows become realities-at least.
we will say, approximate realities
and time, the effacer and reconciler,
smooths over the shortcomings and
buries the memory Of those lofty ideals
and brings a certain cynical philosophy
into the life and so makes of it not what
was expected, not what was planned. but
something tolerable and moderately sat
isfactory-at least as good as the lives
of other people around about. and-yes,
well enough, let us say.
Outof this great mass of mankind
there are few, a very few, married
couples who do really fulfill their ideals
and find life Just what they had hoped
just what they had planned. They are
fully satisfied and go about the world
gloating over their own happiness and
Haunting IL in the faces Of other people
in a fashion that would be eXasperat-
ing If il were not so pathetic.
Now. this class Of persons look upon
divorce as near akin to murder or sacri-
lege or madness. They cannot in the
least understand how anybody once ad-
mitted to the paradise of matrimony
could ever wish to leave il or to drive
their other self out Of it's dear inclosure.
They speak with bated breath or with
uplifted eyebrows and whispers of holy
horror and dismay as they wonder what
strange sort of beings those may be and
finally giving up the gloomy conundrum
turn with a sigh of relief to throw them
selves into each others arms and thank
with brief thanksgiving whatever power
may be" that they are not like other
men.
Returning to that great class Of mar
ried people who just get on after a fash
ion, with a good deal OF pickering and
good many spoken or unspoken doubts
as TO whether marriage is worth while
or not, we find them also opposed to d.
vorce, but from a different standpoint
than the little clique OF paradisians Just
described. They thoroughly recognize
why some people wish to be divorced.
lnNN are IlViE OF less frankly conscious
of occasionally wishing 20 be so them
selves, but they have never said so
aloud, and the bitterness Of their opDo-
sition 10 this mode of relief is that they
do not care TO see others rid themselves
of a burden which they have made up
their minds TO bear II is just the dog
in the manger over again. Il can't eat
this clover, and so you shan't," saws
the dog TO the OK, and sometimes the OK
is scared away and gives up his pro
posed banquet
IF 1 can get along with Tom. 1 i'm
agine you can with Dick, and SO can
you with Harry" says one of their
philosophers to her sisters who are whis-
pering about divorce, and then. warm
ing with her 1ic, she reads them a
lecture upon TIC sinfuiness and the
shamefulness and the general depravitv
of the woman who will see her name
dragged through a divorce court and
the duty of every wife TO submit with
patience and sweetness to her maria ee
lot, whatever it may turn out to be and
If she can't reform her husband 10 win
him over by the exhibition of her own
virtues until he falls in love with good
ness and fOrsalSes vice, and "an goes
happy ever after"
Yes, these disconnected and vet OBJ
stinately staying wives are the bit
terest and most virulent opposers of
divorce, and do very possibly effect some
BOou ny uIdBOOillllE luelI lctDleT sisters
into a submission that not infrequentIy
ends in a half bitter, half Indifferent
acquiesence in a fate very different from
what was hoped, and yet not too bad
10 be endured with some sort of Dhilo-
sOphical content. To wives Of this class
in fact of all three of the classes Just
deScribed-I say: Stay you where you
are. Be satisfied with the frying pan
and don't jump into the fire. Bear the
ills you have and do all that you can to
alleviate them. Above all, if you have
children, sacrifice your own worn and
weary life TO their fresh young promise.
A woman who has borne child has in
a manner pledged herself to bear for
that child what she would not bear for
herself, and great strength comes from
a burden well borne. That is the way
the Italian women acquire their queenly
poise.
But there is still another class, and a
large one to whom / would not prOffer
this advice; to whom L would rather say:
Save yourselves while you can-women
without children and without obligations
except the marriage vows which have
been flung back upon them, shattered
and soiled by him who had sworn 10
hold them sacred and inviolate $50 long
as we both shall live" When this day
comes to any wife, the day when she
finds her home ruined, her womanhood
insulted, her self respect outraged; when
Sllt Illus llldL uCl DNNlAipllSs uCA ltdlo
her arguments and her warnings alike
| are scoffed and disregarded; when she
| sees that she can do nothing to elevate
the man who persistently degrades him
self and drags her down with him; when
she fears that blows may be added to
| cursing and coarseness, then my advice
to that woman is, appeal to the law for
a release from union which has become
| a slavery; annul the contract broken and
despised by the other contracting party;
| be free.
Every legal covenant is made depend
| ent upon the mutual honesty and good
| faith Of the covenanters, and If one
| fails to fulfill his stipulated obligation
| the other is released, often with a COM
pensation for his disappointment.
Is not marriage a contract worthy of
| as much protection the copartnership
agreement Of a firm Of grocers or
| brokers?
| Let US do nothing either rashly or with
| too much prejudice or conservatism. Let
us, If we would achieve success, seek
"the happy middling' between these two
/ extremes.
While harmless as doves, do not let us
| forget to be also wise as serpents.
| MRS. FRANK LESLIE.
| st. PnuPs Fatal Fire.
ST. PAUL, July 6-Last nights fire
/