River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-23
THE FAKIR AND HIS RINGS.
How He Got the Best of the Citizen from
Cartersviiie.

A falxir had a lot of German silver
rings spread out on a little table just
across the street from the depot and
was declaring in a loud voice that he
would warrant each one to cure rheu-
matism if worn on the finger for
month, when a stout-backed and de-
termined-loolxing man walked up to
him and said You were at Carriers
vile about month ago?"
"Yes, sir, and I'm going back there
next week. The people of Gainesville
are crying for my rings Who wants
the next? Five different sizes and all
warranted to afford permanent relief
to the wearers"
II bought this ere ring of you down
at Gainesville" continued the man,
with a CLEAN of danger in his eye.
Not the slightest doubt of it, my
dear sir, end am glad to know that it
has done you power of good Gentle
men. this H. the last chance you may
ever have to get one of these electro
magnetic anti-rheumatisrn rings.
Every one guaranteed as represented
or money refunded. Relieves rheuma-
tism in five minutes and works a COM
plete cure in four weeks"
you are dog-goned liar" shouted
the stout-backed man, as he peeled off
his coat.
Gentlemen, fellow-citizens of the
United States" shouted the fakir.
here's man who bought ring of me
u month ago. IL was guaranteed ring,
but something is wrong with it; in
stead of saying SO. however. he calls me
liar-not plain liar, but dog-goned
liar"
$50 you area liar and fraud"
"Gentlemen, come closer. My honor
is at stake. My first impulse is to an
initiate this man, but | never act on
impulses. / know that he is IN error.
know that l can convince him of that
fact. Later on he will beg my pardon
for his rudeuess. Now, then, tell this
crowd what's the matter with the
ring"
1T hasn't helped my rheumatism the
least bit"
Have you worn it steadily?"
al have"
"And on your honor you have not
been benefited"
Not a spark.
''Let me see It. Ha, Gentlemen,
here is the keynote to the mystery.
Our firm manufactures three different
sorts of these rings. There are the
rheumatic ring, the consumption ring
and the catarrh ring. BY accident a
consumptive ring got mixed up with
the rheumatic rings and was sold to
this man without my detecting it. No
wonder il has not helped his rheuma-
tismi 1t wasn't made to. 1t has cured
his case of consumption, however, as
you can all see by his looks, and he
ought to be grateful for that. Look
at him, fellow-citizens, a man positive
ly cured of that dread disease, con-
sumption. kicking because it does not
also cure the rheumatism at the same
time, and for the trifing matter of fif-
ty cents"
The crowd began TO murmur and the
stout-baclxed man to go down in his
boots, and the fakir capped the climax
by shouting:
But human nature is ever thusl
expect to meet one such man in every
crowd. Here, sir--here is a catarrh
ring and here is a rheumatic ring
both free gifts to you. Wear them and
be cured. BE cured of three awful hui
man ailments for the small sum of half
a dollar, and then come back and kick
because our firm hasn't yet begun to
manufacture an electric ring to knock
out fever and age and straighten out a
pair of bow legs and grow hair on a
bald head at the same time. Louis
vile Times.