St. Landry democrat., 1893-08-05
AN A11 POWERFUL PROTECTOR.

Had to Overcome the Noise, etc., oto'
AN ALL POWERFUL PROTECTOR
she-I have heard good many times
about the terrible earthquakes that take
place on the Riviera, and l only nope
that none will occur while we are
there. wit
He-Don't be uneasy, my love. Moth
ing shall happen to you as long as aln
with you Schalk.
THOUGHT he WAS SCARED.
Papa-What is your mamma dolngf
Little Daughter
Papa (surprised - En- ! knitting {
What 49,.
Little Daughter-I don't know; put
YOU needn't be scared. 1t lsnt her
brows.-[ Good News.
A LAST RESOURCE.
He-Miss Moneybags has married her
guardian. H.. o,a
she-What did she marry that old
man for? A..
He-Oh, to keep the money In the
family, 1 suppose.-[Life.
HAD TO OVERCOME THE NOISE.
"Your friend appears to be fine sort OF
fellow but what makes him dress IN Such
boisterous fashion,"
"Well, you see, it's matter on carry
environment. When he was a young
man he was employed in a boiler FAC
tory."-[Detroit Tribune.
CHANCE FOR DOUBT.
She (gushingly)-Will you love me
when I'm old4
He-Love you I shall idollze-um-
En- You are not going to look like your
mother are you a. New York weekly.
MODERN ATHLETIcs.
Hicks-Blitson, they tell me, is quite
an athlete.
Wicks-Yes; his last feat, hear, was
to run up board bill.-[Boston Tran
script.
A TIP TO THE WAITER.
"IfImight venture" said the guest
in a low tone, as the dignitied waiter as
sisted in the matter of putting on his
overcoat, "to give you tip"
eyes, sir" said the waiter, relaxing
considerably.
II should advise you to try earnestly
to break yourself of the habit of finger
ing your mustache in severe, distracted
manner while you are taking dinner
order. Nv hat. please. Thanks. ~ Chi
cago Tribune.
THE RULING PASSION.
Host (proudly)-And this is master
piece of Rembrandt!
Visitor-Great Scott, man! What is
that hole in the corner 1t spolls the
whole picture.
Host-Well, you see, my wife is an
autograph collector, and she wouldn't
rest until she cut the signature out and
pasted it in her album. II Puck.
Elsie-Vhere does Miss Smith get
that lovely complexionI
Ethel-From Paris, l believe.
A HEARTLEss WISH.
Wife-See, my dear, this style of dress
Is the very latest fashion.
Husband with deep sigh)-How
glad l would be if it would continue to
be the latest fashion.-[Schalk.
ExCUsABLE IN RUSH.
Proprietor-How came this new
postage stamp in the money drawer
Clerk-That's my mistake, sir. l took
it in for two-dollar bill.
MUST BE SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
Dora-I sha'n't stand it another min
ute! I'm going to send him back his
ring!
Clara WHAT That beautiful diamond
ring2
eyes"
"Horrors! What has he done? Robbed
a church, killed his mother, or what2"-
New York Weekly.
A QUERY.
Dorothy-Miss Perte keeps up with
the fashions.
Madge-I wonder if her father keeps
up WIN tne Oils.
AN ANGELS TREASURES.
Accepted Suitor-Why, my angel,
what's the matter2
The Angel-Oh, the awfulcst thing
has happened. have lost my engage
ment ring.
Little Brother Sis, what fuss
you are making! You've got plenty
more of them.-[Good News.
EXPLAINING 1T.
Mother-Horrors! How did you get
so muddy?
Small Son-Runnin' home to see if
there was anything you wanted me to do.
-[Good News.
A sHREwD LAWYER.
Judge-You admit the promise of
marriage, I understand, but claim that
the defendant was insane when the prom
Use was made?
Defendants Lawyer-Yes, Your Hon
or, we enter plea of insanity.
Upon what evidence do you de-
pend to sustain your claim of alteration
of mind?
ID. 1--we intend, Your Honor, to
read the love letters that he wrote to her.
New York Sun.
BUT HOW MUCH IS ''ENoUdH"
May Blume (scornfully)-I hear that
you have wagered money that you would
marry me.
Van Ische-Yes; will you marry met
Miss Blume-lf you wagered enough,
I will Puck.