St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-12-24
SAM BIRDWHIsTLEs ROMANCE
Why He Finally Married to Escape the Evils
of Christmas Time.

! Sam Birdwhistle's engagement created sur
prise in Harlem where he resides. He was al
most forty years OF age, and on the subject of
matrimony was inclined to be cynical He
often remarked that matrimony was merely a
/ female despotism tempered by buildings; that
love was q fellow going around swapping a
| peck OF trouble for pint Of happiness. And
yet. on or about the first day of January, I894.
| he viii wed Miss Daisy Symperton. 1 Will ex-
| plain how he came TO change his mind:
About ten years ago, Tom Green, Charlie
Brown and Sam Birdwhistle were friends and
| room-mates. They were all single young men.
| but Green and Brown notified Sam that he was
expected to stand up - with them. Sam re-
| piled that he never deserted friend in his hour
of danger. Not only that but the best man
presented each bridal couple with silverware
| worth $780, Sam was very liberal and accomo
dating. Before the year was over he was
called by TWO happy fathers to stand up again.
this time as godfather. He did so, and pre-
sented each Of his little namesakes with $50
silver cup. At Christmas he made substan-
| tial present to each fond mother. There was
nothing mean about Sam. However. his re-
ward was coming, for Mrs. Brown overwhelmed
him with a pair of embroidered suspenders
| while Mrs. Green gave him pair OF embroid-
| cred slippers, which cost him eight dollars to
| have made up.
Several more years scooted away. It was
Christmas again. Sans presents to the Green
and Brown families had become a permanent
institution. Forty dollars went for two pairs
OF opera glasses for the ladies. His two god
children got the usual ten dollar gold piece
each. But what worried him was the increase
Twins had sweiled Green's number Of these
pledges OF affection to five. There were four
children in the Brown family. 1t would have
appeared shabby to have overlooked them be-
cause they were not all his godchildren. SO he
came down real handsome, and was rewarded
with hathand and fifty cent necktie from
the grateful mothers. Reciprocity is a great
| thing, soliloquized Sam, but somehow, it
is beginning to hit me in a sore spot"
Time continued to slide away. 1t was a few
days before the Christmas OF 1893 Sam was
sitting In his room. 1t looked like the Christ
mas display in a show window. He had been
buying presents. There were four boys and five
girls IN the Brown family, and the Green family
had also increased to seven. Christmas bells
had become terribly suggestive OF Christmas
bills TO the unfortunate victim OF the Christmas
custom. After Christmas was over it took him
long time to get over Christmas. He had
aged very much of late years. There was
wild haunted look in his eyes. He seized PEN
Gil and he soon had sheet of paper covered
with figures. He gazed in despair at the result
of his calculations. Then ne soliloouized as
follows:
" In 1885, at this rate. III be in the poorhouse.
AS gentleman, can not shake these old
friends, but think they might be little more
considerable. I suppose they think because I've
got no family OF my own. 1 ought to support
their families. If had known this I'd have
headed them of, by providing myself with a
family OF my own. I could have corrugated
the verb to marry myself, if had only believed
that was in the potential mood. By Jove, an
idea strikes mel "
He started to his feet and paced the floor
nervously. Then he went to his desk, and from
secret recess took out photograph, and
gazed on it fondly, as he murmured 80 All. nv
old Daisy" Then he kissed it, until he almost
rubbed the skin OF the end of his nose.
IN riskiti Desperate diseases require des-
perate remedies, he exclaimed, and Selling his
hat he rushed out.
And now all his friends are wondering over
the approaching marriage of Sam and his old
time love, Daisy Symperton. Profiting by
his own experience, Sam has persuaded a
wealthy and unsophisticated young friend.
Charlie Bondclipper, to be his best man. Sam
says ii he don't get some of his money back
from somebody he will be very much disau-
pointed. ALEX E. SWEET