Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-09-05
A GOLD BRICK TRICK.
IN THE ASSAY OFFICE THE PEOPLE
HAD LOADS OF FUN.

An Interesting and NIirth Producing En-
counter of an Innocent Looking JAY
hawker With Lot of Exceedingly Smart
Bank Clerks Who Knew 1t All
What jay he looked! The hayseed
was dropping out of his pockets, and his
unkempt whiskers were sporting with
the wind as he marched into the United
States assay Office in Wall street and de-
posted upon a desk big carpet bag,
which he set down with a resembling
bang. All the clerks stood around and
grinned. 1t was the old story.
Mr.. Assay Man" he said. Il have
here gold brick that r.
But he was interrupted with roar of
laughter. A young man in a corner
nearly rolled on the floor with merri-
ment. A bankers clerk who had come
in to inquire about gold shipment gig
gled till he WAS crimson
Sucker born every minute" he said.
Same old yarn. You jayhawkers
wouldn't get taken in so often if you
read the papers Ga, Lord, what fool
you must be-"
The old man looked puzzled. If you
will kindly talk English" he remarked,
you and ! will be able to understand
each other better What do you mean
by calling me fool?''
Precisely what | say" spoke up the
bankers clerk You've been taken in
by the gold bric!; swindle"
''Swindle, eh:'
Yes, swindle. You met ~ from
California, didn't you, who h.. gold
brick tied up III Il red handkerchief and
an Indian with him? Man said the brick
was worth $4,000. and he'd sell it for
$4,000, didn't he?'
He did"
"Oh, what Il lark laughed the bank
er's clerk, and every one in the office was
on broad grin at the mystifcation of
the jayhawker. The Californian said
the Indian knew where there were a lot
more gold bricks and they've gone to get
them. And then they sold you lump
OF lead covered with gold paint that is
worth about 81. Go, and you've come down
here to the United States assay Office to
have the lead analysed and get told what
monkey you've made of yourself" And
every one howled with mirth.
Not so fast. young man." objected
the jayhawker. You were right about
the Californian and the redskin selling
me the gold brick, but there your infor-
nation ceased. faint no bit of lead they
worked off Onme. Ihada chip of it ana
lyzed. No. sir. want born yesterday.
if am from the country"
You had it assayed." burst out the
bankers clerk, almost exploding with
the intensity of his grin. You knocked
a corner off the brick, and then thev
changed it on you, substituting q piece
of real gold cut from a S. goldpiece.
That of course was found to be all right,
and they. landed you like an old guy,
high and dry" Laughter.
No, they didn't" protested the jay
hawker. I've got the genuine thing.
I'll bet you $500 it's real gold brick"
And he pulled out the sum of money
named and threw it on the table.
There We're cries of Don't take the
poor old chump's money. He's been done
once" and, "'Tain't fair to bet on a sure
thing" The jayhawker, however, pro-
tested.
Pm rich," he said I've got lot
more money I'm going to spend on gold
bricks, and if any one can fool me want
to know it. I'd like TO take fiier on it
anyway"
The bankers clerk hardly liked to
cheat the jayhawker, but all the rest said
that the lesson would be worth $500 to
the old fellow.
I'll make the bet without looking at
the brick" said the bankers clerk. 1.-THE
terms of it are that you've been fooled
and that you've bought a lump of lead
or something. Money talks. Here's
mine" and he threw $500 on the table.
There were some moral scruples in the
minds of the crowd about doing" the
old man up in that way. but the major
ity view was that he deserved it for be-
ing so fresh.
The money being deposited, the Jay
hawker slowly unpacked his carpet bag
In the presence of a broad grin. There
were derisive cheers as he took the gold
brick from the many coverings he had
wound around it and handed it to the as
sayer.
That official accepted it, and look of
amazement came over his face.
Gentlemen" he said, this brick will
not need any assaying. 1t was made in
this building, and it has the government
stamp upon it. 1t is worth SIC, 0O0."
The jayhawker reached for the stake
money and transferred it to his pocket.
The grin on the face of the know it all
clerk changed to an expression of pain
as he turned to the man nearest to him
and politely requested that he kick him
to the foot of Wall street and off into the
East river.
The only person in the crown who was
smiling now was the jayhawker Turn
ing to the assayer, who had taken no part
in the proceedings, he said:
II had business here, but have trans
acted it. My business is exclusively
with smart young alexis Who know it
all and want to enlighten the old suck
ers. Good day, gentlemen" He beamed