The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1893-11-08
\ DREAMER.
says He Is One and Tells
About It.


Dear Howards-If YOU will de-
Bcend from the nights TO which you
have been boosted by the astonishing
eIoquence of the giants who have pre-
ceded me and will lend me your ears.
] will give you the unvarnished tale
of my last dream. for 1 am a great
dreamist and could give Byron" ten
points and beat him every time.
My powers Of imagination, always
equal To any occasion I'm every day eX-
perience, are as much brighter when
sleep as a new trade dollar is brighter
than an old copper cent; therefore. as
a dreamist. / am without a rival from
10 in the morning. At / am sure TO
come out of my realms of fancy and
have never failed to have a good appe-
tite for three cups of coffee. ten buck
wheat cakes, five eggs. a dish Of fried
potatoes and "A mammoth hunk of cold
chicken. but l won't keep you in sus-
pense, so ! will proceed
Last night while 7 was lying in deep
mathematical thought. seriously trying
TO find out If ten cows and ten sheep
added together make twenty COWS or
twenty sheep. | lost myself in the pro-
fundity Of figures and before / was con-
scious OF IL ! went TO sleep like "A lit
4
slept little longer than | wanted too,
and my almanac said IL was 1898, or just
100 years later. ] was really startled
at the discovery and I'm great veXation.
for / had promised 90 pay my tailor
the next morning and ! wouldn't have
broken nv word for anything with him.
The spirit Of progress had been pretty
active during my little nap and great
changes had taken place. No man was
Obliged 10 work for living; he boarded
at his neighbours. A man could talk
A. 600 words I'm a minute and his wife
could 20 him 1000 or 1000 better. The
frail barque of the pOpulists fioundered
on free coinage: the filthy weed was
showed under and trusts. combines and
roober tariffs We're abolished a bona
flde poetry writer on the principle of a
typewriter, was i'm the possession of
everybody, and rhymes went off by the
mile, and the beauty OF IL WAS no one
was compelled to read them; everybody
was a mind reader. and young men
were saved the trouble Of waiting two
or three years to find out how much
their sweethearts were thinking Of
them: when "A man lost his appetite
there were shops where he could go and
get measured for a ready-made one.
equally as good as the old one, assorted
sizes kept constantly on hand; a perfect
system had been invented for getting
into the house at night without your
wife knowing you had been out at all.
and keeping you awake the balance OF
the night 70 make all sorts of excuses.
good or bad; people wore ear trumpets
so finely adjusted that you could hear
tust what your neighbors were saying
about yOu-a pleasant pastime.
Dangerous accessions had been made
40 the ranks OF the prohibs when the
manufacture and sale OF all manner OF
intoxicants, adulterated and otherwise,
ceased and pure wines were substituted
In lieu thereof. when the organization
weakened and failed 10 elect president.
The old way OF sticking shirt buttons on
with mucilage was abolished. and every
shirt would have at least two or three
buttons on when they came from the
washwomen. Your country friends COM
ing to visit you wouldn't bring more
than one OF two Of the neighbors along.
with a broken dozen of eggs and a short
pound OF butter and they never stayed
longer than they wanted to- Persons
who We're hung were always brought
10 afterward. so that a great deal OF
the Inconvenience OF hanging were
avoided. The lOoser mems pants grew.
the tighter pull-back skirts grew, until
finally the pants became skirts and the
skirts became pants and that was the
fashion Of the day. A new way OF pay
ing debts without money had been in
vented, and no man had a right to dun
you with q shotgun, under pain of
death. 50 a creditor didn't get more in
vitations to call again than even your
best friends. as IL Is now. Street cars
were made OF Indian rubber. so there
wac always room for one more. as the
hofes would remark, and the family