The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1893-12-29
scHooLsoY FIREWORKS.
Somehow They Wouldn't Work Properly
and the Consequences Were Unpleasant.

and the Consequences Were Unpleasant.
have In my mind a display of fire.
works given by myself when IL years Of
age or less. DIR. Adam Norris, my
schoolmaster In those days, knowing
that was past master in chemistry
and an adept at the manufacture of col
ored hire, directed me to organize an
entertainment. The old gentleman is
gone now where there may or may not
be fireworks, but to his dying day he
never appreciated my efforts on his be-
half. 1t was proposed to illuminate the
Fairgrounds with colored fires and lam
terms, to invite the parents of the 80
scholars and to regale them after the
display with cake and wine-I mean,
of course, the parents.
was let off my evening lessons for
a week and allowed the run of the
school laboratory. There l reveled in
preparations. Not content with mere
red, blue and yellow fires, arranged
Catherine wheels and Roman candles
and rockets. felt the instinct of a
Z Brock and Pain rising in me. even
asked DIR. Norris for additional money,
telling him that l had an idea for a
splendid novelty. He trusted me, TAX
ing the word of our chemistry master
that | knew what was doing. My
novelty, which l kept as a grand sur
prise, consisted of set piece" with
the words: God bless DIR. Adam Nor
ris.''
This benign wish would come out in
red fire and subsequently change to
green, if all went well. The night ar
rived and the company. The prelimi-
nary illumination was not entirely sue
cessful, as my assistants did not under
stand their business, but the first Cath
crime wheel went around several times
and appeared to be well liked. Owing
to some unfortunate miscalculation with
the materials, my rockets would not
soar. The spirit was willing; the
chemical compound was weak. So they
tore about the ground, like snakes, and
Kissed in among the company, and one
let off purple stars under the petticoat
of lady. A solitary rocket really went
up considerable distance, and the
stick fell through the dollhouse of a
man next door, who had always been
unfriendly toward the school. pass by
the hot air balloon. 1t scared all
right, but forgot to tie on the mag
nesium light, so nobody realized what
a fine thing was being done. The Ro-
man candles passed off without adverse
comment, and then l lighted the ''set
piece"
You will not believe what happened.
Nobody has ever credited the story,
though have told it to thousands. The
facts, however, are these: Owing to
unforeseen circumstances, the first two
words of the dlsplay-those asking God
to bless our good master-did not light
at all; the next word, Doctor, p" fell off
altogether; the "a" in Adam also fail
ed, and the whole of our preceptor g
surname, excepting the initial letter,
blew up. What was the result? Why,
against the black night, raised on sup
ports some 90 feet above the heads of
the bewildered assembly, there blazed
forth a solitary colossal dam N.
1t burned red and then in silence
that could be felt turned green. The
Damn" and / turned green together.
That ended the entertainment. People
never believe this story. Indeed at so
great distance of time should be in
clined to doubt it myself, but l cannot
forget the subsequent interview with my
dear old master in his study. We had a
little private display of fireworks all to
40 Il
effects result from remote causes. The
Chinese by inventing fireworks were do
ing thing which, after long genera
tons of time, rendered it impossible for
me to sit down with any comfort for
week. -Idler.