The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-07-04
GOLD BRICK TRIcK.
In The Assay Office the People Had
Loads Of Fun.

Lo6QS Ok I'LL
What a jay he Iookedt The hay
seed was dropping out of his pockets.
and his unkempt whiskers were sport
ing with the wind as he marched into
the United States assay Office in Wall
street and deposited upon the desk a
big carpet bag, which he set down
with a ~resounding bang. All the
clerks stood around and grinned. 1t
was the old story.
Mr.. Assay Man" he said, 81 have
here a gold brick that p
But he was interrupted with a o
of laughter. Ayoung man in q corner
nearly rolled on the floor with e
ment. A bankers clerk who had come
to inquire about a gold shipment gig
gled till he was crimson.
Sucker born every minute" he
said. Same old yarn. You jay
hawkers wouldn't get taken in so often
if you read the papers. Oh, Lord,
what a fool you must beI'
The old mar looked puzzled. IF
you will kindly talk English" he Q
marked, you and I will be able to
understand each other better. What
do you mean by calling me a foolG'
Precisely what 1 say" spoke up
the bankers clerk. You've been
taken in by the gold brick swindle."
"Swindle, eh2"
Eyes, swindle. You met a man from
California, didn't you, who had a gold
brick tied up in a red handkerchief
ana-an Indian with him7 Man said
the brick was worth 50, 900, and he'd
sell it for $4,000, didn't heg"
He did"
ooh, what a larkI" laughed the
bankers clerk, and every one in the
Office was on a broad grin at the mYs-
tiff cation of the jayhawker. "The
Californian said the Indian knew
where there were a lot more gold
bricks and they've gone to get them.
And then they sold you a lump of lead
covered with gold paint that is worth
about 81 65, and you've come down
here to the United States assay Office
to have the lead analysed and get told
what a monkey you've made of your
self" And every n howled with
mirth.
mot SO fast, young man." objected
the jayhawker. You were right about
the Californian and the redskin selling
me thegold brick, but there your in
formation ceased. 'Taint no bit Of
lead they worked off on me. l had a
chip of it analysed. No, sir. I want
born yesterday, if 1 am from the
country.
you had it assayedr' burst out the
bankers clerk, almost exploding with
the intensity of his grin. You knocked
a orne off the brick, and then they
changed it on you, substituting a piece
of real gold cut from a SIS gold piece.
That of course was found to be all
right, and they landed you like an old
guy, high and dry" Laughter
mo, they didn't" protested the jay
hawker. tive got the genuine thing.
I'll bet you $500 it's a real gold BRICK
And he pulled out the sum of money
named and threw it on the table.
There were cries Of Don't take the
poor old chump's money. He's been
done once" and, '"Tain't fair to bet
on a sure thing" The jayhawker,
however, protested.
I'm rich," he said. i've got a lot
more money I'm going to spend on
IRO1u DIICASs dL1u IL any Ou0 Cdu 1901
me I want to know it. I'd like to take
a fier on it any way"
The bankers clerk hardly liked to
cheat the jayhawker, but all the rest
said that the lesson would be worth
$500 to the old fellow.
"IIl make the bet without looking
at the brick" said the bankers clerk.
1.-THE terms of it are that you've been
fooled and that you've bought a lump
of lead Or something. Money talks.
Here's mine," and he threw $500 on
the table. There were some moral
scruples in the minds of the crowd
about ''doing"the old man up in that
way, but the majority view was that
he deserved it for being so fresh.
The money being deposited, the jay
hawker slowly unpacked his carpet
bag in the presence of a broad grin.
There were derisive cheers as he took
|, the gold brick from the many cover
ings he had wound around it and
handed it to the assayer.
> That official accepted it, and a look
of amazement came over his face.
l Gentlemen, !" he said, ''this brick will
not need any assaying. It was made
in this building, and it has the govern
ment stamp upon it It is worth
$40, O00."
The jayhawker reached for the stake
, money and transferred it to his pocket.
The grin on the face of the know it all
clerk changed to an expression of pain
as he turned to the n an nearest to him
and politely requested that he kick
him to the foot of Wall street and off
into the East river.
Tie only person In the crowd who
was smiling now was the jayhawker.
: T,1rninS to the assaYer, who had TO-
no part in the proceedlnss,sa
Il had business here, but I g