The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-03-28
Mrs. Bilkins Gets a Fall-Zeke's Expe-
rience as a Hen Setter-ALi-
ance ENQUIRER Answered.

B-"Hello! MIR. Editor"
R.-"Hellol Major. Hope you and
Mrs. BiIkins r we'll"
BIN purity we'll, but Betsy amt.
She fell an hurt herself the other day
powerful bad"
R.-"Sorry to hear it. How did 1t
happen?"
B.-"Blamed if l know, She was
settin' a hen an got into q row with
the hen an fell somehow. Hens are
sorter Grabbed, like Betsy, when they
conclude to raise a family. 1 expect
Betsy was tryin' to bulldcze the hen
an fell off a ladder an hurt herself"
R.-"Why, Major, you ought to do
the climbing when a hen goes into h
poultry business. Mrs. Bilkins is too
stout to be climbing around on lad
ders."
B-"That is what Betsy has bin say
in all the time, but I tried that once
an that is enough. A hen had bin
struttin' Ground shown her temper an
Iconcluded I would sot her jist ferfun.
l found sum white flint rocks an went
to put them under the hen. She greeted
me with a smile until she seed the
rocks an she knOwed they wernt eggs.
I will never furgit the look she give
me, which was as if she said you ole
fraud" She jumped off the nest an
squared herself fur a fight just, like.
John Sullivan. Fust thing l knowed
she flew into my face an clipped a
piece of skin off my lose. 1t made me
as mad as blazes an l flung one ov
them rocks at her an killed the old
fool. I went an told Betsy an begged
her forgiveness, but she has never got
over it. Ever since that Betsy has bin
doin' the hen settin' business on this
ranch. I've sworn off myeelf."
Ran Alliance brother asks you
some questions this week. He says he
has bought a little coffee and pepper
through the business agency and he
wants to know how to drink ani eat so
as not 70 violate the acts Of the last leg
islature. For instance be asks: viii
l be allowed to pour my coffee out in q
saucer, or will l have to drink it out of
my cup?"
B.-"That IS a knotty question.
Maybe he will an maybe he won't. I
can't answer that until l consult the
Attorney General. Hitch me ter him"
Ran right, Major"
B.-"Hello! hello! Mr., Attorney
General. Wake up!
Attorney General Hello! who is
that?"
B.-"Say, Mr.. Osborne, I wanter
ask you fer sum light. l wanter know
if it is agin the law to pour coffee out
ov your cup when drinkin' it or if it's
partisan2"
Mr.. O.-"That depends. If you
voted right last fall there will be no
trouble. But we are determined to
break up the Third party, and any
who voted that way aud have not, re
pented yet are liable to a fine if they
pour their coffee out before drink |
ing it."
B.-I thought so. How about eatin'
peppers"
Mr. ONO one is allowed to eat
pepper until the presidential appoint
meats are all made. The Consuls to
Mexico, Cuba, and other Spanish coun-
tries must eat all the pepper before
they start. After that members of the
Alliance who voted the Democratic
ticket may grind their pepper in coffee
mills, but Third party folks must beat
it in a rag until they repent"
b" Well, Mr.. Attorney Colonel,
one more question How many eggs
can Alliance people put under a hen
this spring when they go into the
poultry business, and how long may
our hens set?"
Mr.. O.-"Democrats can put any
number eggs under their hens and the
time for setting is unlimited. But
owing to repeated charges that the
Third party hens are being used for
political purposes, members Of that
party will only be allowed to put six
eggs under each hen and the hens
must bring off their chickens in four
teen days. The reason for this is that
a great number of non-partisan mem
bers of the Alliance, at least four or
five, have alleged that hens are being
used to hatch out voters with their
names properly registered in full.
Rather than allow any party to beat
the Democracy we are determined to
limit this vote Matching business" !