Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1893-08-31
UNCLE sETH As A CONSIDER.
Priceless Philosophy From y Man Who
Earns 90 Cent? Every Dag.

Wal, 80 We he'd yer laig sawed off in a
sawmill, did yes Sawed right off two inches
above the kneef Wal. it's the best thing yer
could do. Hold yer horses. Hold up! Don't
say q word! l came down here on purpose
to console We an now don't go to gettin riled.
I tell ye q MIN ought to be happy who is
lucky enough to get his 1aig sawed off.
Hold on, now; don't yer see Pm consolin
YEP W EN- feller's tryin to say sweet words
Of comfort an peace to We, it's plague-on pro-
vokin to hev ye 90 an r'ar up about 1t. /
tell ye, Ab'rum, it's the biggest thing ye
ever did wen yer went an he'd that ar laig
sawed off It's money in yer pocket, an II
would ha' been more money in yerpoeket to
he'd yer other laig sawed off too-on'y in
that case yer wouldn' had no pocket to put
ger money into. Hel hei
Oh, so you can't see any use in any SIGH
tom fool, fol-de-rol nonsenser l tell Te it's
Jest as true as Scripter mixed with the cen
sus report that every experience man has
is worth 81 to him. Any miserable. every
day experience il worth 81 to him il be Is
the right kin er man. Ye know young Bob
Perkins, who couldn't earn his salt fore he
lost his right laig Then he went cirousing
roun to all the shows in the country as the
one laiged bicycler an made 81 100 in one
summer Wen he fell off'n his bicycle an
lost his other laig, he went roun with a
menagerie an a circus walkin on his hands,
an he made $1,000 in one trip II you
want to ketch a fortune. you can ketch it
quicker on one laig than yer can on two,
An ye can ketch it walkin on yer hands in
no time. You know oil Cy Perkins, who
wuz born up here at the Bean placer? A
reg'l lar lummix. Wal, he went to the war
An lost his laig. Guess he lost it runnin
away, coz he WIS so scarf he allus run away
from an augleworm coz he wuz feered it
wus a snaik Wal. he wuz so scarf that
wen some Of the Union boys shot some
tame turkeys he heerd the firm an thought
the rebs were comm an started to run 50
fast that one laig tumbled over the other.
an he got all mixed up with hisself an
broke it. Wal. sir. he came home, an we
all kinder pitied him-he wuz SIGH gawk
an we made him sillickman, an mex year
we pitied him some more, coz he vuz
gaw kier than ever. an sent him to the leg
islatur. an I'll be dinged il the deestrict
didn't take him up an run him for congress
on his soldier record.
Wal, sir, he run a good deal better than
the other man. coz the other man didn't hev
either wooden laig or wooden head, an
Cy was well supplied with both. II the
other Teller he'd he'd five laigs an bicycle,
he couldn't ha' run for congress az quick az
oil Cy with his wooden laig an his head of
the same material.
tell ye, Ab'rum. as said afore. every
experience IL with 81 TO n man il he knows
how to use it. OF course losin yer iaig is
with thousans, But every little miser bic
experience is with 81 If you've only got
gumption enough to carry it to the right
market an sell it. Yemight give hungry
man bushel of taters, an he would starve
to death il he didn't know 'nough to cook
'em. An experience amt with nothin if
ye don't know how to use it. Neither il q
SO bill.
tell We every experience is wuth 81 to
We, an every man ought to hev three ex-
perfumes day-like gettin cinder in his
eye, losin his pocketbook or fallin off a hay
mow-he oughter get three day, an that 5
80, an that's 81. 900 yAr; an so every man
who's 60 years oil ought to be with so .0ou
How oil am II Wal, I'm 60 myself How
much am I WORTH Oh-er-er mighty
pleasant weather we're hevin now, amt its
Good grass weather, good weather for
garding SASS. good weather for critters,
good CROWN weather, good wealth How
much am wuths Wal, I've got thirteen
dollars an some odd cents in the bank but
then hain't never had no time to go foolin
ruun to fin a market for my experiences.
But | can't bang roun here no longer. Bill
Smith is givin me CO cents day TO take
| care of his stock, an must hurry home to
water the ecws-S W. Foss in New York
Tribune.