The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-10-26

1.-THE mop is ahangin' up behind the
back room door and the stove brush
and blackin' are in the suller-way, and
the lamp-chimney cleaner is a-hangin
up over the kitchen sink"
For so arjous had been my work a.
dom that immense churnin' that my
usual mornin's work wuz neglected and
ondone.
What are you a-goin' to do:' he
yelled.
II am a-goin' to charm you, Josiah.
| 'Wimmen are made to charm men.
They should do nothin' important. A
clean house is important; therefore,
will not clean. Eatin' is important
J therefore, | will not cook. l will emu
late the rose in its wisdom. l will
charm and be silent"
And | leaned back in still more
luxurious attitude in my cushioned
chair, and smiled quite good deal at
him.
Are you dumb lunatick?" SEE he
"Or what duz all you?"
And he put on his glasses and looked
closer at me.
| But / still sat demute and graceful as
could, and still tried faithful to al
lure and charm him accordin to the
rules laid down by big men and APP
proved by smaller ones.
| But anon as | looked, | see a change
come over my pardner's face. Hh an.
cry mean subsidized, and a look of in
tense and questionin' alarm and agony
swept over his eyebrow.
And see him glance at the campfire
bottle. And anon he turned silently
and reached up the stairway for the
soapstun, with his eye on me all the
| time
And he sez, in low, appealin' axents
Don't you want to be rubbed, Sa
mantha? Where is your worst paint
Won't campfire relieve you? Shall ]
90 after Miss Gowdy or the doctor:
Don't you want your feet soaked?" SEE
he, glancin' toward the ,ank.
Sez /: Josiah Allen, | don't want
soapstuns or campfire. want reason
and common sense in my companion:
that is what l want to relieve me. !
have tried jest as faithful as ever a
woman did to foller after the rules yor
read this mornin'. You said you loved
the men that wrote 'em, and if | would
only foller them rules you would be the
happiest man in Jonesville or in the
world. l have follered 'em faithful
for about twenty minutes, and it
has reduced you to the condition Of
lunatick If twenty minutes of il
has brung you to this state, what
would hours and days of it do, and
years. Now it has made you lose
morals, tear round, use indecent Ian
guage, break your word with grocers
and act. Now if you have had enough
of my follerin them rules, say so, ano
l will stop"
"Oh, dumb the piece, and dumb the
| fellers that wrote it"
I turned away from him and ag'in
broke out in that sweet and winnin
smile, and clasped my hands allurin'ly
over by bask waist.
He stamped on the floor; he kicked!
But kept firm and smiled onto him
and ag'in l called him sweet, darlin
pet"
That was the time when he kicked
the boot-jack acrost the floor and
| jammed the clothes-press door to that
extent that one PANEL has been loose
to this day.
But | W i'll draw the curtains on their
bras rod over the scene. But suffice il
to say that at twelve o'clock land he
said he hadn't had a mouthful to eat
in forty-eight hours he capitulated
with no terms
He said: Dear Samantha, have had
enough of the rose act have had
enough of allurin and charmin'. now
want some meat vittles, and | want
'em quick.
So got right up and got as good a
dinner as hands ever got, but quick
l briled a young, tender fowl, | had
already dressed; | smashed up some po
tatoes with plenty of cream and butter
into EN-; | made orange puddin',
quick, but delicious-it would fairly
melt in your mouth. And had some
rich yeller coffee that would do your
soul good to partalle of.
And while | was a-gettin' the dinner,
and if you will believe it, such is my
tact and my faculties for turnin off
work, | got time to finish that last
layer of butter, and imegiately after
dinner put a suow-white cloth over it.
! sprnkled it with salt on top. and Jo-
siah sot off in good season, after all,
| for Jonesville.
! And. at his request, l put on my
brown alapacky dress and rode down
with him.
And as we went along we visited,
very agreeable. He was very affection
ate (owin' to that coffee. and partly by
his feelin's for me-he worships mel.
He said: That sweet, fowery talk
read well, and made men feel kinder
generous and comfortable to write it,
and men feel dredful sort O patronizin'
and good natered toward wimmen to
read it, but it wouldn't work worth a
cent"
NO" seq |. And felt like a fool a
settin there a-tryin' to allure and
charm, a-smilin' stiddy, when | knew
everythin' wuz at loose ends in the
kitchen. was as happy agin' when
wuz out a-gettin' your dinner"
Sez |: Il don't know when | am hal,
pier than when am maxim nv home
a comfortable and agreeable one-a
| gettin' good warm supper for you
when | know you are a-comin' home
tired and cold and hungry at nightfan