davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Parson Resd.s Reaponse.

The Rev. Myron Reeds queer re-.
mark to our joyial old red-hesded
friend Jim Woodward (Jayhawker) il
worth preserving. The eloquent di.
vine had Just arrived in indianapolis
to take charge of the first Presbyterian
church, and was, talking to little par
ty Of gentlemen, when the irrepressi;,
BILE Jayhawker gleefully Joined in, and
NOT particularly noticing the introduce
tion made, he took the floor by Sen
atorial courtesy" and promptly pro-
ceeded to divest himself of vavorite
story of his, not loud, but deep. He
was quick enough to observe that it
fell lamcntably short. and instinctively
realizing that some disturbing element
was present, he turned to the only
stranger, and vcnturcd: 81 beg par
don, but didn't quite catch your
name" Again, and with freezing dis
tinctness, Judge Martindale made
known the gentleman's name and pro-
fession. A profusion of apologies fol-
lowed, repeated 10 such an extent that
the kindly parson soothed him as fol-
lows: Don't worry, sir; don't give it
a second thought. When gentleman
tells such story in my presence al,
ways forget it, and when blackguard
does never remember it,"
Poor Jiml Like the Lady or the
Tiger" story, this was long the puzzle
of his life. He asked me once what
Reed probably meant, but l closed him
cut under Wild Western Rule No i,
which reads that ''if any feller asks a
conundrum OF any other fcller which
he cant answer himself, he is obleeged
to set EN- up. Washington Post.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

The Union Pacific has now on sale winter
tourist tickets to Louisiana, .Texas and New
Mexico points, also Key West, Havana, and
to New York and return via Galveston OR
New Orleans; also one faro to all Texas
points on Dec. 12, 1893, Jan. 9, Feb. 10.
March Is, April 10 and May =, 1854. Those
South, or wishing to enjoy n delightful sea
voyage, can procure full information regard
ing rates, routes, etc., by calling ut city
ticket office, 1908 Larimer st., or addressing
Geo Ady, General Agent, Denver, Colo.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

Ibave no purse Of gold, my dear,
With which to buy you dainty things;
The purse is cmpty, and the gold
Has flown away as II on wings;
80, sweetest wife in all the world.
Tho you possess tho creator part,
I'll give to you on Christmas day
Another fraction Of my heart.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
where waks,ulnrss Has ,.s Birth.

Intelligent physicians arc regarding with an
eye less and less favorable the use Of narcotics.
While there used in extreme cases to afford
greatly nccdel temporary relief, professional ef
forts arc far mere generally directed, now days
IL nn formerly, TO meaus OF building up the ner.
vons sy stem us the basis of its healthul fuietude
This Is one reason why Eostatier's Stomach Bit,
tiers has received the sanction of phy'icians as o
nerrine tonic. lId gestion unreiicvcd is the
fruitful father tf instmria ard the relief Of the
ra.cnt malady y the Dticrs is usually followed
Ly return TO tranquil sleep. oyer-woik. mental
anxiety, fcdcataiy habits impair digestion aud
weaken the nerves. The Bitters Strengthens
them by renewing the ability to digest and nssimil.
nte the food besides thisitLcalthfuliy stimulates
the liver and kidneys. Biliousness constipation,
rheumatism and debility are Icnicdici by this
sterling nt d.cine.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Tho Eyes Of Mark.men.

Lieut.. c. L. Collins, Inspector of Small
Arms Practice In the department OF the Colo
RADIO. says, in his annual report, that the COM
petitions In target shooting has shown that
men with light blue eyes rank highest, fol-
lowed in their order by dark blue, slate blue,
light brown, dark brown and black. In the
eolored troops light blue eyes again stand at
the top. How large proportion OF the col
orcd troops have light blue eyes is not stated
In the published abstract of bis report Tall
men shoot more accurately than the short
men.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Who has dined upon cucumbors,
Followed by a dish Of cream
Tell him not Of peaceful slum5ers,
Life is but a horrid dream.

~ hope it SHOWS Christmas eve,'
said Harry, because if it don't Santa
Claus may have to come in u balloon,
and if it busted. all the toys would get
broken"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

The Union Pacific is the only line running
dining cars bctwccn Denver, San Francisco
and Portland, Ore. Enclose two-ccnt stamp
for sights and scenes in California. Ticket
cffice lI03 Larimer st.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Something New.

The t.Santa Fe Route'' has inaugurated q
through daily free reclining chair car service
between Denver, Colorado Springs and Og-
den In both directions.
Holders Of sccond-class tickets to or from
Utah or Pacific coast points reading via this
line will be permitted to occupy these cars
without extra charge.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Jumping a Claim.

1T w A S N E w
1f Y cars eve in
the camp, and the
! Gold Nugget saloon
was doing n heavy
n business all along
the line. Drinks
were being rapidly
dispensed over the
counter, and in the
ear faro, roulette and
lraw poker w C r c
.rishinr,
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

DR.. r. Schifmaun. St. Paul. Mum. will mai!
G trial package OF .'s,chi1mann's Asihmi Cure"
free TO any sufferer. He advertises by giving
il away. Never fails to give instant renei In
worst cases and cures whe Q others fail. Name
this paper and send address for free trial
Duckuge.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

After looking on all sides Of question 1t !.
sometimes found TO be better just to walk OF
and leave It alone
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

THROAT DISEASES commence with Cough,
Gold or Sore Throat "Brown's bronchial
7roches" give immediate relief. Sold only IN
hores. Price 25c cts.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
delicate Consideration,

Mother Gust before Christmas)-Why
did you jump and run when your f.i-
ther came in?
Daughter-I had a lap full of Christ
mas presents.
Mothcr-But they are not for him.
Daughter-No, but wanted him to
have the pleasure of thinking they
were
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

II tho ysaby IL Cattlns Teeth.
Be sure and use that old and welltried remedy, hA
NrnaraH,s SOOTHING sYRur for Children 1eething.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

The mother entered and quickly
barred the door. Husband, husband,
think what has happened! On the
edge of the holy forest met little
man with snowy beard who told me
where to gather the best cones. l went
to find them, but the farther 1 went
the faster the cones fell from the frs.
They came about my head as thick as
snow flakes in midwinter; yet the trees
shook not. l was afraid and did not
stop to pick up one; but some fell in my
basket, and here they are.''
"IIist, wife! Look, look thou! They
are pure silver. It's the Gubich thou
hast met"
Down the basket droppsl. Around
it grouped the mother and children.
True, there lay the cones, silver every
one, cleaning in the fire-light rs had
the beard of the little man in the gold
en- glow of the sun.
The morrow's sun had tipped the
graceful frs with gold, when again
the mother stood at the edge of the
forest. In moment the Gubich was
before her. "Good-morrow, good soul!
Founds't thou not beautiful cones
ycSttf-CNC hhA AahtS eiAouSh
the forest. The mother struggled to
speak. "Keep thy thanks, I wish them
not, continued the Gubich. ''Be thou
only faithful to thy husbands words,
and each cold December give to me
and my dear frs a loving thought to
keep our hearts warm. Now HE thee
home"
Not more quickly speeds the wind
than the mother homo again; not more
happy are the birds than were the
hearts in the miners home that day.
by night, nowhere hungry sou! Oh
the .'beautiful Hirchbichenstein."
Dear Santa Claus-evcr since, thy
boards been white as snow!
Dear Christmas joy-ever since, ,madly
the Harz maidens dance round the
graceful frs.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

Snooper-Ile took drop too much and
died. Skidmore- OF dclirium tremens:
Snoopcr-No; parachute.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Cheap Excursion Rates.

"It is q wise man who keepeth his own
counsel" ''Ycs, but wiser one who can
sell It like lnwyer"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

Malinda-The stock exchange is not ideutl-
sal with the stock yards; the animals that
rally cavort in each arc dintinctively differ
ant =
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
co,onist sisspsrs

Are run daily to and from Ban FrAne;sco
and Portland, Ore, By tho Union Factac.
These cars are fttcd up complete with mat
resses, blankets. pillows, etc., requiring
nothing to be furnished by passengers. For
any additional Information cali at city ticket
office, 1903 Larimer At.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

Life is always an up hill or down hill
business. 1t ia hardly necessary to observe
that 1t IL wiser to travel up hill.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
The New Year Book.

Now is the time to bo gled and bright,
And kind as we can from morn till night;
Be quick to smile and to frown be slow,
And try to learn what Is good to know;
For, oh, let us think how the days will
look
While We write them down in our New
Year book.
II all would be good and kind and true,
And do the work that Is theirs to do;
II from hate md pride our hearts were
free,
What glad New Yenr the world woald
see!
And then know wo should lore TO look
On each bright Page Of tho New Year
book
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

On Dec. 10, 1898, Jan. o, Feb. 10, March
IS, April 10 and May 8, 1884, tho Union
Pacific will sell tickets to Texas points and
return at ono fare for the round trip. Ticket
Office 17O3 Larimer st,
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

We say that man is short In his accounts.
meaning that he Is short in the accounts OF
tis creditors,
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

The coming dictionary will probably define
daisy 10 be tough In full bloom.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

WHO WOULD be free from earthly Ills must
puy boy of Beecham's Pills. rs cents a box,
Worth q guinea.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

'Hnnson's Magic Corn Snlve."
Warranted to cure, or money refuntod As1
your druggist for Il. Price IS cents
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
GOOD SPIRITS

result from such unnatural habits.
To reach, reclaim and restore such unfcrtu-
Hatcs to health and happiness, is the aim of an
association of medical gentlemen. who have
prepared q treatise, written in plain but chastc
toms and durability, BY home treatment, Of
ouch dieeases.
A copy of this useful book will, on receipt
of this notice, with 10 cents in etampe, for
postage, be mailed securely scaled In plain
envelope. Address, WORLDS D1sPENsARX
MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, Buffalo, N. Y.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

learn that there is ut least one dreaded dlsease
that science has tccn able 10 cure In all it's
stnges, and that is Catarrh. Hnlls Catarrh
Cure Is the only positive cure now known tc
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being u con.
stitutioBnl disease, requires constitutional
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken In.
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system, thereby
destroying the foundation of the disease, and
giving the patient strength by building up
Tie constitution and assisting nature in doing
Its work. The proprictors have SO much faith
in its curative powers that they offer One
Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails to
cure. Send for list of testimonials.
EY-Addrcss +. j. CHENEY tS CO., Toledo, y
'Yourc the sleep!cstlooking individual ]
ever raw," said Farmer Sedgwick TO the
tramp who asked for meal. ''Yes, even my
coat hasn't had n nap in some time" quotb
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
August. :.
Flower

Miss c. G. McCLAvE, School.
teacher, 753 Park Place, Elrnira, N.
Y. This Spring while away from
home teaching my first term in
country school I was perfectly
wretched with that human agony
called dyspepsia. After dieting for
two weeks and getting no better,
friend wrote me, suggesting that !
take August Flower. The very next
day 1 purchased a bottle. I am de-
lighted to say that August Flower
helped me SO that I have quite re-
covered from my indisposition." o
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

RhfIoh,s Consun ption Cure
Is sold guarantee. 1t cures Incipient Cousunll
tlon. II b tho best Cough Caro- Sctss tOota. $i0o
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

Rams Horn-It takes strong man to hold
his own tongue.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Pas I. This in Your Hat.

About the best way to euro q hot-hended
man is to pour cold facts into him.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Dining oar. to CnIlrornia,

Mountains of difficulty come high, but We
must have Ihem.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
n.ve you Asthma.

Charity does not stop with single loaf of
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

To the beefy mortal life is merely cow
pnth
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
eIoo ueward 500.

You cannot always tell what n man is think
ing about Ly hearing his talk.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
Hhu Santa Claus Beard Is
Whlt6.
A LEGEND: BYM. A BIRD.

II U R / N G T II E
babyhood of Santa
Claus = long, long
ago = while still
: many good and
!, worthy folk be-
Zlicved wood-sprites
/: lived in the holes of
:Jtrces, witches in
Ives, and dwarfs
eep down u n d e r
,rth, there lived in
Germany, on one OF
lesser mountains of
IIarz, a miner with
e md seven children.
, down in the bosom
mountains was the
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21

H.N. U. Denver. voi.x. No. s4o.-5L
When writing to advertisers please Ga > that yoi
taw the advertisement in this paper.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1893-12-21
A Christmas Card.

WILLIAM HENRY SIvITEn.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-08-10
foa YEARS OLD.
james smith Remembers the Irish Re-
beIlfon of 1898.


James Smith of 10 Hamilton street,
New York, celebrated his l03d birthday
on Monday. He is well-known in the
neighborhood, and his stories OF his
birth and childhood are accepted by all
his acquaintances.
Smith lives in wretched basement,
the air of which would not be supposed
to be conducive to longevity. He was
born, he says, in the townland of Slane,
county Meath, Ireland, at midnight OF
July 31st, 1890, and was, therefore, eight
years old at the time of the Irish rebel
lion of 1898, or the "turn out" as he
calls it. He looks like man on the
border line between this world and the
next. While talking with reporter he
appeared as if by an effort to bring him
self into the active living world.
His aged wife, who was also born In
Ireland, but who was married to him in
Richmond, Va, thirty-five years ago,
and is his second wife, sat smoking a
"cutty" pipe beside him, recalling him
to himself every time his mind began to
wander.
Smith said that he remembered the
scattering of the people after the dis
astrous battle of Vinegar Hill, in 179S,
and the yeomen and troopers riding
about and burning the houses of the
rebels. He saw Henry Grattan and
Henry Flood and heard Father Mathew
speak at the historic Hill of Tara, which
was only a short distance away from
the village where he was born. Smith
came to this country 80 years ago, and
he has always been staunch Demo
crat. The last time he voted was fol
President Buchanan. He was laborer
and his large hands and frame. show
that at one time he was man OF grea
strength. He says that before he camt
to this country he served five years il
Van Diemen's land ON the charge o
belonging to reasonable organization
Smith was in Richmond during tn
civil war, but managed, he says, t.
escape being drafted into service OF
account of his age. After the war h
came to New York. His wife has SUP
ported him for some time by dom
chores, but lately one of her arms ha
become partly paralyzed, and she ca
do little work. Smith says he does nc
| believe he will reach another birthda,
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-08-10
EYENTNG ECHOES.

A man never discovers how hard his |
lot really is until he tries to put spade
into it and make garden Washington
Star.
Landlord-You should always pay as
you go, young man, lmpecanious
Boarder-True; but don't intend to go
for six months yet.-BoSton Gazette.
SIS it true that Varsity man soon
forgets what he has learned at college?"
"No, sir; 1t is not. l can row just as
well now as when | was up at Cam
bridge" -Tid-BitS ......=.
Mr.. Foster Tightfist-"sayl Let me
have that flyer l loaned you last night,
will you?n Mr.. Spender-"For heavens
sake, man alive, | haven't had time to
spend it yet"-BrOokiyp Life.
"There, knew something was in the
wind" said the western farmer sadly to
himself as through crack in the cellar
wall he saw his new barn sailing along
on the crest of cyclone. - Boston
Courier.
Junior Partner-"What made that
new drummer of ours come back from
his trip so soon? ~ Senior Partner-"He
said there wasn't suit of clothes in his
sample trunks thatfitted him. "-CIothier
and Fstraisher.
Miss Molly--I suppose, colonel, you
were glad of any sort of a job when you
first went west. Colonel Straightfush-
Yes, indeed, Miss Molly. Why, seriously,
the first 500 made out there | got by
picking up chips Brooklyn Life.
"You have just returned from Eng
land. I understand? p" eyes" "IIave
a good timer" "Fine." "Were you
at court?" "No; but l came mighty
near it. A policeman grabbed me, but
broke away Washington Neaos.
Strawber-"I see you get into trouble
at Narragansett Pier the other day."
Singerly-"Yes, came near being ar
rested" Strawber-"What was the
matter?", Singerly-"I very foolishly
wore my sisters bathing SUIT. y CIothfe1
and Furnisher.
Mrs. Potts-"I know that one of the
Young men who visit you so regularly
! is your brother, but who is the othei
one?" Mary Amy s'm, one of ZEN
Is my brother, and-and-I guess thu
other one is going to be his brother-in
law after little while. "-Indiandp0'i
Journal
Johnny, would you like to be mis-
sionary to the savagesG" "Sometime
I'd like to be missionary and some
times I'd like to be savage" replied
the boy. "Why?" was the astonishe'
, query. "Well, you see a missionar.
! has to wear clothes in summcr."-
Washington Stai.
/ Husband ill at home)-Did you pos
d that letter gave you? Wife (bacl
I from hurried shopping tour)-N-o;
r forgot it until the last minute. 1T wa
q very important" ooh, it's all right.
3 gave it to u little boy, who promised 7
q give it to another little boy whose uncl
n lives next door to letter carrier
G Quips.
g Old Party-so you wish to MARI
II my daughter? Young Party-Ies, 81
e Old Party-Well, you won't do. Io
= are not up to my idea of what my sol
/, in-law should be. Young Party-Po
n sibly not now, sir, but after I've live
/, with you eight or ten years I'll improy
70 Detroit Free Press.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-08-10
PROHIBITION YORK.
Tho Enemies of Liquor Have an En-
thusinstic Rally at Chester Heights.

Tho Enemies of Liquor Have an En-
thusiastic Rally at Chester Heights.
CHESTER HEIGHTS, PA, Aug. 2.-The
Prohibitionists had another interesting
meeting to-day, and wound up the sea-
sons exercises here with grand rally
for the cause.
w. S. Yarnall, the county Prohibit
ton chairman, presided. The days eS-
ercises were opened by prayer, by Rev.
Charles II. Burnley of Williamsport,
Pa. Short addresses were made by Rev.
J. w. Miles of MARBLE, and by Rev. Mr..
Burnley, and then there was another by
Row. Thomas Kelly, D. D., of Ches.cr.
The oratorical contest, in which three
young men and two young women were
entered as contestants, was next on the
programme. The orations were original,
aud were delivered by the authors. The
contestants and their subjects were as
| follows:
Herman Conrow of Downingtown,
ga Plea for Prohibitions" Albert 7,
Yarnall of Lansdowne, Work TO Do;'
Joseph G. Lawrence of MARBLE, Evils
of Intemperance;" Miss Lauretta Smed
lev of Willistown, Work for Women
in the Temperance Cause" Mary =
Cloud of Booths Corner, sour Nation
Curse" The orations were all care
fully prepared, and contained many ex
cellent, thoughts in regard to prohibi
ton. The judges of the contest wer'
Mrs. Patience Kent OF Swarthmore
Miss Florence Conrad Of Philadelphia
and Rev. P. H. Mowry Of Chester
They were unanimous in awarding tn
tine first prize to Mary E. Cloud. Tn
second prize was given to Laurett
Smedley and the third to Albert !
Yarnali. The first prize was IL volume
of "The Lives of Reformers;" the secon
an Encyclopedias Of Temperance, an
1 the third years subscription to tn
} Literary Digest" The prizes wer
: presented to the winners by Rev. T. II
,, Mowry, in neat speech.
At the afternoon meeting Rev. Davi
H. Burwell of Ohio sang solo, eth
Two Votes" and then made an addres
i A collection of money to aid the cauf
4 and bear the expenses Of the meeting
r in Delaware county this fall was the
taken up and about $3.50 was raise
| This, with the amount collected yeste
4 day, puts about $500 in the treasury
!. the party with which to start the ia
= campaign.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-08-10
EXCITEMENT AT ASBURY PARK.
A Big Row Between Walters and Guests,
in which Razors and Chairs Were B-ed.

A Big Row Between Walters and GuestS.
in which Raxors and Chairs Were B-ed.
AsBuRY PARK, N. j., Aug. 2.-The
dining room Of the Hotel Plaza blythe
Sea was thrown into the widest excite
ment and confusion this evening by an
alteration between one of the guests,
named John II. Quinn of Lexington,
KY, and a colored waiter, named
George Willis Field. The row grew
out Of Mr.. Quinn demonstrating with
the waiter for removing a dish of fruit
before he had finished, when, it is said,
the waiter replied with insolent
language. This so incensed Mr.. Quinn
that he raised his chair over his head
and attempted to strike the waiter, who
raised his arm and warded off the blow.
Instantly the dining room was in an
uproar, and the walters rushed to the
assistance of their associate. Dishes and
glassware were hurled around in an in.
discriminate manner, ladies tainted and
shrieked and men yelled.
In the melee Mrs. e. M. Judge of
Troy, was severely cut on the head and
wrist. A Mrs. Stretch, also of Troy, is
reported as being badly cut and was re-
moved from the hotel to avoid publicity
Quinn was dangerously cut on the lefi
hand. Miss Helen Blythe, the actress
says the wound inflicted upon Quinn
was made by razor, and in this she is
corroborated by DR.. Coleman, who de
clares emphatically that it could only
be made by razor, and Quinn says hi
assailant is the waiter with whom HI
first quarrelled.
The waiter swore out a warrant TO
Quinn's arrest, charged with assault
and Quinn was taken to the town jail
where court was opened by Justic
Borden about 10 o'clock. An immediat
hearing was demanded by Lawyer Pal
terson, but Fields and other witnesse
could not be produced tonight, and tn
Justice finally held Quinn in $500 bal
for hearing at 10 o'clock to.morroN
morning. Quinn came here in compan
with his brothers, Il. F. and G. ], Quinn
about two weeks ago. They are prom
nent turfmen and horse owners.
The proprietors of the hotel speak
the highest terms of them as gentl
manly guests. The affair has create
the widest excitement in the hotel, an
! for the moment everything else ispushe
= aside, and nothing but the scene in Il
dining room is talked Of. Many of u
guests and not few Of the walters IL
carrying wounds of one kind or anoth
/ painful reminders of to-night's fracs