davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
Lovely.

Oscar Wilde was introduced at q recent
garden party in London to Mrs. Osgood Of
Knebworth House. In the course of few
minutes talk it was divulgedthat the lady
was on the eve of departing for America.
''Going to American" said Oscar. "Deah
me! What for, now?" ITO see my hus-
band" was the reply. Oscar stared sleep
lily at her in establishment. Dropping Ian
guidly into a chair, he said, Going all the
way to America to see your own" with
the accent on the OWN ''husbandp Deah
mel What lovely ideah!"-Recorder.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
All About . Telegram.

All About . Telegram.
Bingo-Has a telegram come for me?
Mrs. Bingo-Have you been expecting
one?
Bingo-Oh, no, of course not. Sarcastic
ally.) You don't suppose would ask you
that question If expected one, do your
Mrs. Bingo (sweetly)-You might, dear.
What would you say, now, If l should say
that telegram has come for you?
Bingo-Aha! knew it. I've been ex-
pecting that telegram all the afternoon.
Umpatiently.) Where is it?
Mrs. Bingo-I'll get it. But, dear, I
thought it best to open it. You didn't
mind, did you, dearest!
Bingo-Certainly not. It's onlya matter
of business. From Jack Enslow, amt it?
Mrs. Bingo-Yes, dear.
Encyclopaedia meeting tonight Says
I must he there, doesn't he!
Mrs. BingO-Yes, dear.
Bingo rubbing his handseI knew it.
Well, I'll have to rush right off after din
ner. Sorry for you, my dear, but you know
business must be attended to-
Mrs. Bingo-Oh, that's all right, darling.
But don't you want to see the messagei
Bingo-Why should l? You opened it,
read it like the good wife that you are, and
I guess that can trust you. Jack wants mo
delightfully."-, that's all. and must go.
Mrs. Bingo-But there was one thing
more he said. my pet.
Bingo (s,,spiciouslySOh there VAST
Well, what was it,
Mrs. Bingo (all smiles)-He Says he's got
front row seats.-Tom Mason in Harper's
Bazaar.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
Following I'm the Fads.

Following Up the FADE
Sharp Dry Goods Merchant-What you
at nowi
bill.
"Ail right. Charge him an extra 500 for
sundries."
Hadn't better put in the items?"
''There are no items. They weren't
bought"
my goodness! He'll say we're swim.
dlers."
mo, he won't. He won't say a word"
why not?"
well, you see, kleptomania is very fash
ionable now, and he'll think his wife has
got it."-New York Weekly.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30

Quester-I hear you've been raising your
own vegetables this summer. Now, tell
me, old fellow, does gardening pay?
Jester-Certainly it does.
Quester-Don't sayl Well. you're tho
first man that know of whose experiments
in that direction have resulted as you say.
Jester-Well. know whereof speak,
for my checkbook abundantly proves that
it paid my standardization Courier.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
VISIONS.

Visions come and go again.
Leaving in their airy train
Just q rhythm, soft and low,
OF their movement 70 and fro
Something like an old refrain.
It's the way with summer rain:
lis the way with JOY and pain:
IT'S the way with all we ken
OF the lives Of mortal men;
Just TO come, then 60 again.
w. N. Roundy in Harper's Weekly.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
A Long Headed Lover.

Friend-l can't help wondering Why .
man ON your small salary should give
his afianced a cluster diamond engage
ment ring.
Mr.. Smarttchapp- That's 20 abe wonS
slip it of and leave it up stairs when the
other fellows csll.-0ood News.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
The Bank Il Solvent,

Owing to financial uncertainty, . St.
Louis family drew 81 ,7s5 from a bank. all
the money it possessed, and placed it in the
back part of q cooking stove, where thieves
girl, forgetting about the money, lighted a
flre in the stove. and now the family has
nothing. The bank 10 still paying dollar
for dollar.-Utlca Herald,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
An Imperfect Creation.

Adelaide, aged 4, sat ON the floor play.
ing with her doll and asking her mother
various questions about God and what he
had made. After several fruitless efforts
to make her doll stand, she was heard to
exclaim, well, while he was about it he
might Is we'll have made the doll 80 shs
could stand up."-New York Advertiser.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30

"You made a mistake in calling that
drama of yours a play without hero"
"Why? 1t hasn't any heroes"
''It's chock full of them. Every man
who braves an audience in a play like that
is heros'-Harper's Bazaar.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
An Eve For an Eve,

First Oculist-I had the most interesting
case yesterday that ever had the pleasure
of attending to.
Second Oculist-What was that?
First Oculist-A young lady called who,
instead of a common pupil, has a college
student in her eye.-Truth.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30
Explained.

Duke de Veragua-Zat is very estrange.
Ze bar in re river and re bar ON shore have
xe same name.
Mr.. Hoffman Howes-That's because
water is scarce in both places.-Texas Sift-
inQa
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-12-30

AucTo dic ui-uuy Va quotVOA AoE VAo AiSuO
in Rome Among the pillars surrounding
the ancient buildings, the church portals,
the recesses about the chapels, the inches
of the numberless saints-all these are en-
cellent lodging places. Only the Coliseum
with its eighty portals makes an exception.
for one of them is the guardhouse of the
police, and in Rome, as elsewhere, ma
tural instinct forbids the street arabs to
mingle too freely with even the humblest
of city officials. After the days battle
some of these homeless boys will lie down
and sleep in the doorway of the nearest
house, and it is not an uncommon thing,
when one cones home late. to stumble over
a pair of small brown legs, whose owner
mechanically reaches out with his little
hand and in sleepy voice says, "Un soldo,
signor"
Thus passes day after day for the street
boys in the Eternal City. They grow up
in q constant fight for existence. The street
is their home and their school. They 20
through life with an imperturbable sang
froid that is simply enviable They know
of no other burden than the care for the
Necessities Of the moment, and among
them . cigar or cigarette Is the most se
kious. Then they become young men well
equipped with practical knowledge Of the
world and with health. They are qualified
with almost everything except to sit stu
and be idle. Excellent servants, good sol
diers and hard working men generally grow
out Of these street boys. As matter q
course, also dead beats and criminalA-
New York TrihunA
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
.Inhrc Not Ton nnicl.lu

A mother whose temper is impulsive
should never trust her first hasty judg
ment in the management of her little
ones.
In the larger affairs of the neighbor-
hood and Of society the prudent person
refuses to judge hastily. He gives the
benefit of the doubt wherever and when
ever and to whOmsoever he can. PeoDle
have right to ask that before they are
weighed in the balances and found
wanting their cases shall be looked at
from all sides and from the most favor
able point of view. It is not we'll to as
sume that bushes and down dropped
eyes always indicate guilt. Innocence
falsely accused is often ashamed TO lool,
its accuser in the face. Judge not, that
ye be not judged, was said by the purest
lips that ever spoke on earth.
The man or woman whose habit it is
to indulge in snap judgments of any
kind Is necessarily narrow and undevel-
Oped.-Harpers Bazaar.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
Rainfall in AuatraIIn.

Australia seems to have had an un-
usual rainfall this year, though it does
not equal that Of 1890, when, according
to report just issued by the govern
ment astronomer of New South Wales.
the average for the whole colony was
81. 10 inches, or 32.6 per cent. greater
than the average of the sixteen preced-
ing years. Forests do not seem TO have
aided in cloud precipitation, for while a
densely timbered region the amount was
60'o9 inches, the mean of nine of the
nearest stations in an open country was
1892 inches.
Elevation, however, has a marked in
huence on rainfall. At Wallagong.
half mile from the sea, at an elevation
Of sixty-seven feet, 1884 inches fell.
while at COrdeaux river, six miles from
the sea, it is $3.50 inches.-Mediter-
Fanean Naturalist.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
Not pTuch A,Iyon,ago

Little Dot--Teacher says that rubber
trees grow wild in Florida.
Little Dick-S'pose they do, No one
ever thinks bout rubbers till it rains,
and then it's too wet to go into the
woods.--Good News.
Great Financiers Who Tear Paper.
The propensity to tear paper into little
DTS IS peculiar to Wall street brokers.
Visitors in the Stock exchange fire.
quently comment on the fact that the
noor OF the large boardroom is thicklv
strewn with tiny pieces Of paper. Each
broker carries q small memorandum
PAD, ana as he becomes excited he tears
on page and proceeds to convert itinto
the largest number Of infnitesimal
pieces of which his fingers are capable
Some uncommOnly nervous brokers will
destroy two or three pads a day in this
manner. Mr.. Henry Clews is a tireless
paper tearer. When he is talking bust
ness IN his Office his hands are rostlesslv
reducing paper to snowfiakes, which ha
thr9Ws into the air and watches with
apparent interest as they scatter over
tne hoor and the furniture. Ha nroh-
ABLY tears up more paper and tears IL
nner than any other man in Wall street.
Mr.. Jay Gould Is also somewhat ad-
nicted to the habit of paper tearing, al
Inough, like his friend Russell Sage, he
folds 1t and twists it and plays with It
Tor quite awhile before destroying it.
Sohh H. lnman tears up q great deal of
paper while talking, General Samuel
Thomas not only tears it up, but fire.
quently puts ii in his mouth and chews it
IN an absentminded way. Mr.. J. Pier
pont Morgan will carefully make rib
Dons OF sheet of note paper while medi.
tating upon some financial problem,
Mr.. John d. Rockefeller, when inter.
tsted in conversation, viii make figures,
etters and fantastic characters ON his
pad. When he fills page with charac-
ters he will tear it off, crumple 1t up and
throw 1t away, and then begin on an.
other page.-New York Times.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

'If yon could stand on the moon =
says an astronomer, the earth would
appear to you to be sixty-four times
larger than the sun appears to the
residents of that mundand sphere; this
this because the earth has eight times
the diameter OF the moon, therefore
she must necessarily show the moon
ties sixty four times as much surface
as the mOou shows us. The sun. on
the other hand, would appear no
larger to you from your observatory
on the moon than it does from our
globe. The earth's atmosphere being
blue, il has been decided that the earth
must appear as blue ball to all out
side onlookers. What glorious sight
it must be to our lunaran neighbors to
look upon bright blue, swift-revoly,
ing ball sixty.four times larger than
the SUM-"
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

Says the New York Sun: The relig.
ious people of this city and country
never, at any other time, strove as
hard as they are striving in these times
to promote the cause of religion in the
community. They give their personal
effort to it, they contribute lavishly to
it, and they devise novel means Of get.
ing people interested 10 il. We must
admit that the adversaries of re
ligion known as agnostics, skeptics,
inhdels, or atheists are also extraor.
dinarily busy and bOmbilatory in our
generation. To all interested onlook.
ers it is obvious that the faith has a
very strong hold upon mankind in
these closing years of the ninteentb
century.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
SECRET SOCIETIES.

MORNING STAR LODGE, No. 6, /. o. o. F,-Meets
every Friday evening, at o'clock
MCDONNELL ENCANPMRNT, No 2I.O. 0. .F-Meets
Second and Fourth Tuesday evenings Of each
month at 8 o'clock
HARMONY LODGE, No. Is, A. F. A. M.-Meets First
and Third Thursday evenings of each month,
at o'clock.
SMYRNA LODGE, No. 5, l. 0. G. T.--Meets every
Wednesday evening, at O'Clock.
SMYRNA CONCLAvE, No. As, ORDER OF HEPsAsOPHs.
Meets first Wednesday evening of every month
UNION CASTLE No. II, X. G. E-MeetS every Thurs
day evening in Odd Fellows Hall, at O'Clock.
ROYAL TEaPLARs OF TEMPLARs.-Meets every
plars Hall
MIsPAH LODGE, No. l6, A. o. U. W.--Meets every
Monday evening at O'Clock in Odd Fellows
Hall
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
She Committed Suicido

Mrs. + {. Boe, at Watkins, left this let
ter Ny huSband-Forgive me if cause
You trouble, but / suffer So You do not
know what these long, wakeful; wretched
nights are to me, and | am so tired dar-
ling-the pain will never be better. It is
not easy to take my own life, but | have
been sick SO long. Goodbye. nv husband
/ !ove you-your wife" This is but one of
thousands that gives up, instead Of using
Dr. Miles Restorative Nervine, and being
speedily cured Of their wretchedness. Go
to VIM. +: Dunn's and get an elegant book
and Trial Bottle free
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

Owing to the short crop of hogs. the
price Of pork has advanced, and is
still going up, which renders il certain
that pigs, will be in active demand the
coming spring at much higher prices
than farmers have received for some
years. This, then, is the timo for
farmers to be up and doing, Have
good, warm, dry pens to start with
with plenty of leaves for bedding.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

The ONLY VEMOMoUs BIRD.-New
Guinea has the credit of producing the
only venomous bird known to ornith.
ologlsts- the Rpir N'Doob, or bird Of
Death" There is no aatidote to the
bite OF this bird, which causes excru.
eating pains in every part of the body,
loss OF sight, cOnvulsions, lockjaw and
certain death within two hours.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

have been troubled with chronic
the only remedy among the manvI baya
used, that affords me relief-F. nj VII
lard Druggist, Joliet, Ills.
have been troubled with catnarb for
ten years, and have tried number az rem.
edies, but found no relief until / had nnr- r
chased a bottle tHe Of Ely's Cream Balm. /
for cataarh and cold in the heal eRnara''9h nuI %
Crandall, p: M, Quonochawntaug Po n a.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
A Million Frfends

A friend in need is a friend indeed. and M
less than one million people have fonnS ~ ; no
such friend in Dr. Kings New Discovery for
Consum ption, Coughs, and Colds If won have
never iN used this Great Cough Medicine, one trial
VIII VIII con vince you that It has wonderful cnraiive
powers IN al diseases of Throat, Chest and
lungs. zach bottle is guaranteed to do ali that
Is clslmed or money will be refunded. Trial hnt.
bottles SOC. and SI.OO 'V'ie' Large
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
nasarvinU ppasa.

we desire 70 say to our citizens that for years
" We nave been selling DR.. Kings New Discovery
LOT LOT consumption, DR.. Kings New Life Pills
bucklens Arnica Salve and Electric Bitters, and
nave never handled remedies that sell as well, or
mat nave given such universal satisfaction. We
10 not hesitate to guarantee them every tme
ana we stand ready to refund the purchase price.
IL satisfactory results do not follow their use
these remedies have won their great popularity
purely on their merits. Ashcraft & CliitOn's,
Druggists.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

There is no claim made for Ayers
Sarsaparilla that cannot be endorsed
by scores Of testimonials This fact
plainly proves that the blood is the
source of most disorders and that
Ayers Sarsaparilla is the best of blood
purifiers. Try it this month.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
He Played Second Fiddle a, Hon.

Strong Minded Woman Ito a relative.
who has called on her)-My husband has
now got position in the orchestra. He
plays first fiddle.
Relative-NOt at home, does he?
You bet he doesn't play first fiddle at
home"
That's what 1 thought. Texas Sift-
ings.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
A new telephone compapv incorn,

a new telephone company, incorpo.
rated at Chicago, proposes to replace
the telephone girl with a system of au-
tomato switchbOards. The passing of
the telephone girl would be a matter
of unfeigned regret for, with all her
faults she is a breezy, piquant and
engaging type of Natures handiwork
Yet she would doubtless experience
little difficulty in discovering a new
and better field for the display of her
usefulness and activity.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
The Doelsrs are i:niIfr.

Grave mistakes are made by physicians
IN treating Heart Disease. The rate o
sudden deaths is daily increasing. Hun
dreds become victims of the Ignorance o
physicians in the treatment of this disease
One IN four persons has a diseased heart
Shortne3s of Breath, Palpitation and Fiut-
ttterlhg, Irregular Pulse, Choking Sensa-
derness in side, Shoulder or Arm. Weak
or Hungry Spells, are symptoms of Heart
Disease. Dr. Miles New Heart Gre is
the only reliable remedy. Thousands tes-
tlfy to its wonderful cures. Books Free
Sold by VIM. +. Dunn.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
OUR SEMI-ANNUAL
Reduction Sale,

In order to reduce our present stock of
Winter clothing, and make rapid and
quick sales, we have gone through and
knitted large number of lots, consisting of
new and fresh stock of clothing made this
season. as follows:
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
Merchant Tailoring Department !

Goods made to order at sweeping reduc-
ton from former prices. Now is the time
to send in your orders
Freight prepaid to all points Car fare
paid within so miles of Philadelphia Sam
Piles sent on application.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
THE SMYRNA TIMES.
.Sn2T3'10, DeI.,
Wednesday Afternoon, Feb. 9th, 1898
CHURCH ERVIcEs.


ASH , METHoDuT Observation-Disclosures
ing at 1O% A. NJ and P. NJ. Sunday School
Ppm; Prayer rMeetng-Thursdaysa at 73I P. NJ
Rev. W. W. w. Wilson, Pastor.
ST, PETERS PROTESTANT EPIsCOPAL.-Sunday-
Preaching at l0A A. NJ. and 754P. NJ Holy bays
W A. NJ. Sunday School, P. N. Prayer
Meeung-Wednesdays, at IA P. N. Rev. G. w.
Dame, Rector.
.-Sunday-Preaching at 1OL A. N.
and ~ P. N. Sunday SchOol-2P.M. Prayer
Meetng-Fridays at P NJ. Rev. c. G. Adams,
pastor.
ST. PoLYcARP CATHOLIC CHURCH-MaSs on First
and Third Sundays, at 7.30 A. NJ, and on the
Second and Fourth Sundays, at 10.SG A. X.
Catechism Glasses taught every Sunday after
Mass. Rev. Jas. +. Quigley, pastor.
Centennial METHODIST EPISCOPAL (ColOred) -
sunday-Preaching at IL A. NJ. aud r. II.
sunday School, P. NJ Rev. W. II. Thomas
Pastor.
A. NJ. e. .-Sundey-Preaching at 10I
A. N. and P. NJ. Sunday SchOOl-214 P. n.
Rev. J. 7. Hammond, Pastor.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
FamilIarity Breods co,,.......

Judge Dufy-How dare Won com.
into court sol Take your hat Off
Tramp-But, judge, you know pr
not a stranger here.-Texas siftings -
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

II YOUR RACK kcFYES.
sou inS II Is eenepsi ssaly good for moth
BhOWN'S IRON BIirERa.
II wiz cure you, cleanse your liver ana 81.
good appetite. 411 s's~
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

On foggy winter days English rail
ways employ thousands of extra hands
to place detonating signals on the rails.
the ordinary semaphOres being invisible.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

Itwould seem that nearly a Quarter Of.
all cases of insanity are hereditary, and
animals are not free from this visitation.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

"a The use OF 'Castoria is so universal and
Its merits so well known that it seems work
OF supererogation to endorse it. Few are the
intelligent families who do not keep Castoria
within easy reach"
Carlos MARTIN, D. D.,
New York City.
Late Pastor Bloomingdale Reformed Church.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15
II:SIsl;lZ:y
for Infants and Children.

'Castoriaissow well adaFGed to children that
recommend itas superior to any prescription
known TO me" H. A. ARCHER, NJ. D.,
Ill So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, y. 7.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

Castoria cures Collie, CONSTIPATION,
Sour Stomach, DiarrhRa. EructatiOn,
Kills Worms, gives sleep, and promotes di-
gestion,
Without injurious medication.
Smyrna times., 1893-02-15

Tn CESTAUR COMPANY, n MURRAY STREET, NEW York
Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1893-12-28
The Colorado River.

The recent conference of Arizo-
mas governor with Minister RoAe-
ro of Mexico at Washington, rt--
news attention to project of vast
Importance to the southwestern
territories and incidentally to the
entire country. Gov Hughes
clearly indicated the value to both
countries of constructing 5ettiss at
the mouth of the Coierado river,
which is in Mexican territory, and
thus making that river nayigable
for $50 miles, tapping a district
rich in mineral deposits and an ag-
riculturaI and horticultural region
Of extraordinary value. Al! this
region, however, as well as Nrvad.
and Southern California, is deficient
in coal and in timber, while Mex
leo. along the shores tos the gulf Of
California, inl1nd, has immense
natural supplies of both, but at
present finds no market for either
because ot lack of transportation
facilities. Making the Colorado
would open up at once a
great traffic in coal and lumber for
Mexico in exchange for the pr,--
ducts of the soil which the sonth-
west portion of the United States
produces in such profusion. Min
lister Romero will bring the matter
to the attention of his government
and it is to be hoped that prompt
action will be taken by both gov
ernments. But for an error in
ma piping, the United States and
not Mexico, would be the possesser
Of the mouth of the Colorado to-
day and vessels for ocean traffic as
well as internal commerce would
now be navigating that historic and
at times turbulent stream.-The
American Contractor
Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1893-12-28

Several fine bodies of building
stone have been lately found near
Florence, says the Oasis, and skill
full stonecutters are now at work
dressing the material. It comprises
granite found, within short dis
tance of the town, and very fine
character of black marble, ledge
of which lies near the river on the
Riverside stage road. Wilson 4
Adams, the Florence stonecutters
pronounce the marble to be of the
most valuable description for interi-
or furnishings and for monumental
work. $3.50
Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1893-12-28

The Los Angeles Times furnishes
this interesting straw as an indica-
tioa of the progress of Arizona.
Arizona is becoming an agricult-
ural country at rate that must be
astonishing to old timers who went
to the territory twenty years ago.
The latest move in this direction is
the location of a colony of 500
Italian families near Yuma, who
will 60 into the business of raising
grapes.
We have no doubt the expert
ment will be a success. Arizona
will not long depend for it's reputa-
ton upon mines, Apaches and the
Kicker. The magnificent irrigation
capabilities of the Gila, Salt and
Colorado rivers, with climate
second only to that of California,
and a soil that needs no5hing but
water to make it produce anything
will ahundantly qualify the terri
tory to become State of the first
rauk.--San Francisco Examiner.
Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1893-12-28


Probably the most wonderful of
all the strawberry family is the
Arizona everhearing. This plant
blooms and ripens its berries every
month in the year, with proper
care, and many of the berries will
measure FIVE and six inches in cir
cumference. 1t originated in Mex
leo, but is coming into general no
tice more in Arizona, where it
proves very prolific and delicious.
The berries are of a deep cherry red
all over and of the finest flavor
Rural Californian.