Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1893-03-17
PITH AND POINT.

"Dreadfully cut up"-The amateur
carver's fowl.
A grievance to a man is what sore
1eel Is to boy.-Alilwaukee Journal.
There are two sides to every quarrel in
the world but your own.--AtchisoD
Globe.
Do as you please and in the end youth
Gno yourself displeased with what you
have done.
"a brush with the enemy" as the fox
remarked when he left his tail in the
trap.-Puck.
One person with a chronic case OF
vanity sometimes gives the disease to an
entire town.-Galvesto News.
Women are usually tender hearted,
out it is not uncommon for them to en-
gage in crewel work Lowell Courier.
he is a nervy sportsman who will dare,
bring home dead ducks from the.
butchers without first firing some shot
into them.-Puck.
"You fill long-felt want" as the,
starving tramp remarked TO the gentle
man who bought him a square meal
tnllauelpnla record.
There are symptoms that crinoliue is
coming in again. The ladies' fashion
Journals are preparing to "hoop her
up. Lowell Courier.
A difference between q knife-blade
losing its temper and woman is that
the former becomes duller and the latter
more Observation-Disclosures Times.
''If marriage is lottery"
Said Chappie,' 81 will thank
The wife get if she will not
Describe me US IL blank"
Washington Star.
De Young-"What would you call it,.
proud beauty, if your cruelty drove me
to kill myself in yonr presencc2" Proud
Beauty" Infanticide. detroit Tri-
bune.
"What do you suppose old Scourgo
wears his whiskers long for2" "To save
the cost of cutting emp "No, to save
the cost of buying neckties. "-Chicugo-
News Record
''It's too bad we are not q family OF
Eskimos." GLOW would that benefit
us any9" "Johuny furnishes blubber
enough for the whole family. New
VI n l1SIdlu
"Dalton said he felt awfully cheap
last night when Miss Savecash accepted
him." Morton--"Why2" "Because.
she never takes anything unless it's a
bargain. Chicago Inter. Ocean.
Penelope-"Oh, I'm in awful luclsl"
Perdita-"What the matser2" Penelope
-"Engaged, and have still eight new
dresses of which I will never have q
chance to try the effect. Vogue.
The people all get frightened at a headache
or a cold,
And it's useless to assure man it's safer to-
For the microbs has the Nation on the
run.
Washington Star.
"Shadows are always larger and
olacker than the objects that cause.
them," said some one. This is particu
larly true of the shadows of the trouble
that never comes.-Boston Saturday
Evening Gazette.
Bridget, I've found five
Or six large pieces of glass in the SOUP
.o-day. How did it happen2" Bridget
-"Shure, ma'am, and didn't yez tell
Chicago Inter. Ocean.
To woman's eyes, indifference. not
;owardice, is the objectionable sin in n
nan. The unbestowed caress of the.
lover who longs to kiss his sweetheart.
out dares not, is valued infinitely more.
than an Indifferent salute.-Puck.
Rock bye baby, in the top fat
along toward morning wa know vhors
you're at;
When the dawn breaks and we're 10 1ging to.
snore w
Down comes you're ear-spliting voice.
through the floor.
Art in Advertising.
''Women seldom indulge in sarcasm.
you think they do not2" "As q rule
they are too kind. hearted to be sarcas-
tic" "H'm! Did you ever hear ona Of
them say from the top of tie stairs
This is q nice time to come homep"
New York Press.
Willie-"Papa, what is that bio
hammer for. in the box at the side Of
The cart" Papa-tIt serves two purposes
my son--to enable the conductor ~.
knock down fares and to help the COM
mercial travellers to crack iokes.n-
Pittsburg Bulletin.
Editor-''No, my dear sir; as post.
humorous poem these verses would be.
good. But I do not see my way clear
to publishing them just now" Poet
"But what advantage would it be to me
to have them published after my death2',
Editor-"I cannot say, my dear air
But posthumorous poem is especially
valuable in the fact that it assures the
reader that no more will be written bv
the same onthor. "-Brooklyn Life.