Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-08
READY FOR THE BORE
CONVERSATION OF A MAN WHO WAS
PRIMEo FOR A pYSPEPTIc.

One and L. Able To Get In but n Few
Words In the Course OF a Long Talk.
You are SO burly and robust" said
the orgulous dyspeptic, with secret
scorn, to his casual travelling acquaint-
ance, that / presume you are never
troubled with dyspepsia. You have
much to be thankful for am often in
such q state that
Was the burly acquaintance to endure
the garruity of chance dyspepticS He
was not.
ION the contrary" he Immediately re-
piled, for, never having suffered a mo-
ment in his life from any physical all
ment, his mind was active and vigilant
ION the contrary, have suffered I'M
told torture from dyspepsia, and as you
are interested in the subject will will
ingly give you my experience. began
with the finest digestion in the world,
but while engaged in the military service
of the country, being 10 years scouting
on the frontier, the character Of the ra-
tons, together with the quality of the
CONNECTIONS of soldier cooks previously
engaged in driving hacks and smuggling
castings"-
"Oh, my trouble was not with cooks"
interposed the dyspeptic loftily, but
nevertheless much chagrined to find the
burly acquaintance prepared to talk on
on the subject. LAS l was about to tell
you, l am often in such a state that
And the irregularity of the meals"
hurried on the burly acquaintance,
SERVED, you understand, in camp, al
fresco and a la fourchette sans ceremonie,
threw me into such disorder that had
indigestion. then dyspepsia, then non
assimilation. submitted my case to the
army surgeons. They advised me-
Doctors are Of little use. will tell
you
ITO confine myself to the simplest and
most digestible edibles and esculents to
be found in the military commissary.
But l grew worse, and the surgeons or
dered me back to civilization, where
could obtain the delicate nutriment
which my disordered and seriously i'm
paired system required. | went to Chi
cago and began q diet of chicken broth,
fresh fruit, stale bread made from newly
ground graham. steamed oatmeal"-
"Oh, | tried all those. Five years
ago.
THE result was that grew worse, as
before, and the local doctors advised me
to go toto go to New York, where
should be able to find foods better suited
to my parlous state. Accordingly Invent
to New York and laid out a diet of the
finest and purest of the selected foods
that that metropolis Affords
plain country food taken as the sys-
tenn requires
my physician advised exact regular
| tfx- I hnA food
ounces farinaceous food, two ounces Of
the juice of fresh imported fruits and
two ounces coagulated albuminoids ev-
cry two hours. Growing steadily worse,
consulted higher medical talent. One
doctor kept me on clam broth, another
on tangerines, another on shredded
broiled frogs legs, another on distilled
alfalfa
Growing steadily worse, consulted
still higher authority. l was now told
that my diet was Mt variance with ma
ture. The doctor told me that nature
was proportion, rhythm, music-foods
must be taken in harmonious proper
tions. He prescribed the same sea foods,
cereals, meats and fruits as the others,
but in a chromatic scale of the decreas-
41lS ClilA4s tilAcn ing Al OA1<hcAOhd4AN q
few vegetables by way of variation o!
the fugue and double extracts as over
tones
"Of course you recovered, your case
being merely temporary
"Growing steadily worse, consulted
doctor who had had great success
among the Observation-Disclosures sue
cess. He was n man of blunt speech
II l. h.
overworked my stomach and must give
it entire rest. What. was to do for a
living in the meantime he did not say,
but he took u large fee with great scorn
rightly dcspising me for the small
amount of money that he left me. My
stomach was now worse than ever. II
refused to be cajoled and despised my
offers of peace. Excuse me n moment
Once had spent over 4S hours fasting
| then drank two drains of soda mint
with four ounces of aqua pura-every
thing was now drains, scruples and
ounces with me, and the zigzag symbols Of
those distressing quantities appeared il
my nightly Nightmares like procession
of Daniel Quilps and Humpbacks of No
tire Dame-as | say drains of sterilized
milk at 20 degrees centigrade, with iv
wiggles of bismuth and ii jiggle jaggle:
Of soda, with a couple of glasses of wine
and pepsin to aid in the mysterious proc
esses Of digestion.
The large amount of actual food con
tanned in the ounce of milk began to dis
tress me exceedingly, but the wine, t
which ! was not accustomed, gave me
courage. | took several more doses of il
Immediately, increasing the doses rhyth
mically. | had not felt so well in months
l said. Wine is undoubtedly n mocker
but it is good rubifacient, besides pos
sessing valuable qualities as an antinar
cote and merrymaker. Now, very well
Mr.. Stomach | said, you are unamena
BILE to gentleness, unmoved by kindness
and irresponsible to the concord of swee
culinary symphonies. | will give yoJ
something to rage about Putting oil
my hat, walked lightly adown tht
street, and entering, not doctors wait
ing room, but a restaurant, l Instant,
ordered and partook of n repast consist
ing in part of turtle soup, roast old goose
broiled fat Holsters, corned beef ant
cabbage, salt pork, hot rolls, Italian
cheese, tripe, mince pie, black coffee
chartreuse and black ard green cigar
"As you can imagine. when you con
slider the philosophy of it. that ended it
hope you will never be troubled as Iv
been. Good day."-Eew York Sun.
No Doubt About the Verdict.
you are the defendant in this case, ar
you nots" asked the prosecuting attorney.
aENaS sir - ran1iaI thu man in the xritpaS