Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-02-25

| GMGu.I lot OF most men.
"why," he said, 81
| talk about anything ex-
cept the shop
He elaborated upon this subject further by
describing the usual preliminaries to q dinner
party conversation. Surprising You have
never met your partner before, you scat her
and then You say:
| Glow beautiful the roses are. OF course
You are like most OF your sex, and you rave
over iowers?'
..'oh yes she replies, but like other things
better than roses.
! "'What? l did not know a woman ever liked
ANYTHING better than flowers
Some do
'But you haven't told me what you like bet
ter
"'Wsn. prefer men TO flowers
| "Aha! you know what to talk about now. II
is smooth sailing. The lady is Hirt. Go
ahead and enjoy yourself If YOU know how to
| fIrt; if you don't know how tell her so frankly,
and she will probably talk TO the man on the
other side of her."
SUPPOSE SHE HAS BEEN TO PARIS.
! But suppose the lady you take in TO dinner
replies to your question about the roses with
the remark: "Oh, yes, and when We lived in
/ Paris l really believe We spent more Of our
| time at the florists than we did in any other
shop. How strange it is that the only place to
| get flowers in is the city. They are supposed
| to suggest the freshness of the country, but in
reality they no more rural than a cabmsn."
There you are, then, talk to her about Paris il
! You have been there, and IL you haven't ask her
to tell you something about 1t that You don't
already know.
You may, however, be the partner Of some
one who is an old friend. and in that case You
have some subject Of mutual interest to con-
nd ma IN ha Mt hn
be in close proximity to person whom you
know well and do not like, in which case the
safest thing 10 do ia to make a few polite re-
marks and then attend to your dinner. Eating
IL safer than talking under these circumstances.
what Is great convcrsaticnalist ANYHOW!
Every now and then you hear of a man who is q
brilliant or great conversationalist, and when
You ask why he is considered ii is difficult to
get an intelligent reply. As q matter of fact it
Is usual to discover that man was great con-
versationalist after his death During his life
| time he is considered n pleasant fellow or
clever fellow, or sometimes it is said OF him
that he is an incessant talker. When his flow
OF talk is heard no more it is realized by his
friends that he was something unusual and that
he deserves to be remembered.
SOME GREAT coNvrRsArIoNALIsrs.
The truth is that if you stop and think OF the
names that have come down to us OF people
who were great in conversation you will find
that most Of them were men or women who
| took the floor aud held it, and who monopo-
hzed it. Tho greatest talker in the world was
probably DR.. Samuel johnson, and he per-
mitted no interruption. unless it came in the
| shape Of an apt question designed to draw him
out Several people rebeled against this con-
versational despotism Of the grea. philosopher,
but 1t WAS no use to REBEL and Oliver Gold
smith, it will be recalled, was told by Dr. John
Son that he was lmpertlnent, because he wanted
some one else at the club to have a chance to
| say something. Another great talker was Lord
Macaulay, and his talk was a mere monoiogue.
He would pour it forth by the gallon. It was
brilliant and instructive, but it is impossible to
| avoid the reflection that it must have been a
bore at times. What be knew and he knew
/ almost everything, came from his own fertile
brain and from the books he had read. He
| learnt little or nothing from conversing with
others. Another great talker was Madame
de SIael. and how little of genuine conversation
there was in it may be inferred from the fact
! that shs once talked for some time to
| strange gentleman, who had just been presented
to her. and went Oh and pronounced him very
intelligent and agreeable man, whereas he had
said nothing at all and being stone deaf had
not heard a word that Madame de Stael uttered.
Harriet Martinesu also talked necessarily and
rarely waited for any reply.
Now. it would hardly be safe for the reader Of
The STAR to put the paper down, run off to the
house Of his friend and begin to talk without
"hAtiuS ioi u Iepi!s DtCHuJe many OF the
great conversers Of the world did SO. He would
be voted bore, just as on occasion they were
doubtless bores also. The object Of your con-
versation is to make yourself agreeable, and
while there is no objection to your taking the
lead, il you know how to do it, you must re-
| member that you are far from being compli-
| mentary to your companions if you ignore their
| opinions.
| NEVER TALK SHOP.
| This fart yonst be rerpa p,bered asroc;oIi, -
the dinner table, which is probably the greatest
| place for conversation that there is, but above
| all the caution thrown out by the diner and
quoted at the beginning OF this article must
| never be forgotten. The man who will talk
shop In the parlor or dining room il an unmiti-
gated nuisance. He should forget that he earns
his living by arguing law cases, doctorins
| people or selling something and he should never
Allude to that part Of his life except for pur-
poses Of illustration. Or course this does not
| apply to the occasional dinner party OF men
where the shop is the object, or to those semi
professional dinners where number of actors
| or writer's are brought together for the main
purpose OF comparing notes on their common
| calling
Somebody has made the remark that leisure
IL necessary TO make a man a good talker. But
why should this be truet OF course 1t stands
to reason thsta man who works all the time, who
does not read and who does not travel can
| hardly be very interesting, and unless he talk,
about his business he must keep silent, but the
| man who does a normal amount of work, reads
goes among his fellows and travels is much more
apt to be pleasant talker than the man who
| has no occupation. The mind Of the last
| named man ID dulled. There Is no reason why
| II should be awoke, and it consequently goes to
sleep. In rare instances the man Of leisure
occupies his time improving himself and cult
| waiting himself. but as o general thing the we'll
| informed. cultivated man is the one that has a
settled occupation. Americans work too hard.
| there IL no doubt Of that, and they would be
better dinner takers II they worked less, but
their dinners, 1t must be confessed, would not
be a. good, for the result Of the work may be
seen In the rare wines and tempting dishes that
are set upon the table.
HAxrNo BUSINESS OF TALKING.
There Is q plan Of conversation at the dinner
party suggested by an English novelist which
has been experimental with on several occa-
sions with moderate degree Of success. 1t il
| to change the topic with each course and 70
have the topic written In as a part OF the menu.
| Thus, with the oysters you may talk about
Parlsian life, with the soup you are 10 discuss
the Farmers Alliance, with the Ash arrives 4
mental effort about colonial architecture, and 90
on. The only trouble with this method Is that
1T IL making business Of what ought to be 4
pleasure. suppose some member Of the party
has been to see trained pig and has very
humorous account Of it that he would like to
relate, Is 1t fair that he should be preyented