Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1893-08-03
ANOTHER'S SISTER.

dNO1HUh - DlO l. LII.
Let us all pray to be delivered from
the sin Of hasty Judgment When / first
beheld four or five modern comedies
adapted from the French language,
wherein the situations were all due to
somebody, chiefly she, entering some
body else's apartments, chiefly he, !
scoffed audibly. The thing was absurd,
outworn and cheap. But now that has
happened which has caused me to know
great deal more about French COM
edies and critical situations than all the
most successful playwrights put to-
gether. tz...-..
In the first place I occupied land still
do occupy chambers which consist of
two rooms connected by tiny hallway
giving on to the landing by one door.
Therefore 1t viii be plain to the meanest
mind that once the halldoor is occupied
by the enemy, the only other exit Is from
the window by way Of the gutter pipe
avertical distance of three stories. There
should always be two ways, not includ-
ing the window, out of every set of
chambers.
This need had never presented itself
to me until one memorable afternoon,
when without knock, word or warning
q round faced, golden haired, blue eyed
maiden in an astrnkhan faced jacket, a
gray skirt and u black velvet hat charged
into my room after the most approved
fashion of all the comedies, crying,
"Dear old Joer
My name was not and never will be
Joe. There was no need for explanations.
Sister, and only sister, was stamped all
over the face Of the maiden. Everybody
who has been possessed of ap only sister
understands the manne- in which one
of the tribe enters a brothers rooms.
The maiden gave little scream as
turned. She apologized. Could I tell
her whereabouts Mr.. Joseph Rupard's
chambers werep
L could not-for you may live II years
in chambers without knowing the face,
life or occupation of any one Of your
fellow convicts. I suggested that she
should speak to the housekeeper and es-
corted her to the tiny hall aforesaid.
You will observe that there was moth
ing whatever in these proceedings to
bring blush to the thinnest cheek.
The imp Of perversity, who is gener-
ally playing about on the landing for 8
shillings week, met me in the hallway,
saying, Lady and gentleman to see
you, SIR" ..
Behind him stood two figures that I
knew, and at any other time would have
received with joy.
The maiden at my heels lost her sin
gularly pretty head, and whispering
"What shall I dor bolted back into the
sitting room.
All this was strictly in accordance
with the rules of the stage, but why it
should have taken place in my chambers
I could never understand. And yet
was deeply thankful that she had not
gone forth, like Una, under the noses of
my visitors. Uncle John-yes, it was
an uncle, even as is the case in COM
edy-would have laughed, and since she
was another mans sister that would
have been even worse than Aunt Alice's
hawkeyed inspection of the maiden, and
subsequent description of her face, fig
ure and dress to all her righteous world.
received my people in the hallway.
An inspiration told me to get rid of my
coat and rumple my hair. Desperate
fear made me very wise, most courteous
and genial to excess.
"Oh, SO glad to see you," said I, "but
Tn afraid you've come to a regular
camp in the wilderness. Fact is, my
sitting room Is upside down-that fool
of a housemaid has been doing some
thing to the fire that has filed the place
with smuts, and I've made her dust
everything out again. But come into
the bedroom, since you've taken the
trouble to climb all these stairs" Even
as spoke in the hall, I heard the heavy
armchair wheeled up against my sitting
room door, and there was sound of
emphatic busting. thanked heaven
that was pleased to afaict me that it had
sent at least zone heart still ready to
play out the play"
Into my humble bedroom led those
relatives, and my aunt, after the man
ner of women, made scorching inven.
tories with her eye and inquired as to
whether I was well looked after. But it
was the auntipathetic kiss and the re-
mark that followed--"My boy, how hot
you arel Aren't you well?"-that scared
my perfectly innocent soul like hot iron.
Perfected crime must bring with it q
sense of ease and rest. It is the unmer-
tied imputation of evil that strains the
nerves.
My aunt would fain have had tea,
t'when that girl had finished cleaning
your rooms" The bedroom door was Of
course open. I assured my aunt that
the folly of that housemaid. prevented
her from finishing anything this side of
doomsday, and that the dust would not
settle down till 20 minutes after that.
There was q growing, choking noise,
that might have been smothered
chuckle, from the sitting room, whereof
the fanlight above the door was open.
'What a very superior voice she hasy"
said Aunt Alice. "Quite like lady's.
Is she prettyy'
"Come and see," quoth 1, with that
Icy innocence that only cunning can
bestow. half opened the sitting room
door, coughed vehemently and drew
back as one choked with the dust.
ftIrnnossihle y T said ssSha,u ,ot j., a
n,u. \ 4