Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1893-01-23
TO FIRE lNT0AR ACHING WASTE
No Amount of Power Can Atone for
Ungsll4ns Conduct, Says frey
Ella Whs>isf W.eox.

El HE man who fiatfers every wo-
10Y man ne meets and has ready
made shopworn compliments in store
Il by far more excusable than the man
who cannot pay merited compliment.
and who says untiattering and blum.
things with an idea that he is being
frank and honest
II Is man 3 duty 10 be gallant 10 wo
man SO long as she is womaniy. BE she
old or Young married or single. she a,e
rrec,ates refined gailantry from boy
or man and misses the absence of il
No amount OF strength or power on the
part OF man compensates for utter lack
OF taste In his department toward her.
was passing out OF my door one day
with young lady guest when we en-
countered on the steps young gentle
man who was about TO ring the bell
oh. are you still hereg he said. with
evident pleasure in his voice. II sup
posed You had gone"
What could have been moro tactless
and blunderingl Why did he not say:
Il feared you might have gone! How
fortunate am to find you still here!"
he was really pleased 10 see her. His
face and voice showed that. But his
unfortunate phrase told her bluntly that
his call was not intended for her.
Another young lady guest of mine was
requested to lead a german with gen
tleman at whose home pretty girl was
visiting. The day after the german took
place the gentleman was calling. and |
said. Il was surprised to find that Miss
A.. your mothers guest. does not
dance"
Yes, he replied. lit was great dis
appointment to me-"
Ut course my friend, who had danced
with him and had felt complilnented at
his choice of her as a partner. at orcs
realized that she had served as a sub
stitute because the lady ne preferred
could not dance. How easily he could
have concealed his disappointment
The man who compliments one lady
at the cost of another Is an unfortunate
sort OF being.
was once in small company of peo-
pie where the hostess found 1t necessary
to request moments assistance of one
of her men guests. The young man had
been sitting on a divan for considerable
time chatting with a bright. talkative
woman. Mr.. A. may ask you to ex-
cuse yourself for a moment" said the
hostess. and come over hereY
With great pleasure" cried the
thoughtless. well meaning fellow. as he
sprang to his hostess side
III mad known 1t would DO such
pleasure 10 you would have excused
You long ago." said the woman with
whom he had been chatting.
4 really think she was provoked at
my leaving her so abruptly said the
stupid fellow when referring to the
matter. but how could | do otherwise
when my hostess called meT
A man like that should live apart from
women and confine his society to hia
own sex.
Some one CHANGED to mention the hour
In the nearing of gifted and educated
man one day who had been conversing
for some time with his hostess.
w udl. bO Gil ic Catidllutu.
Il had an idea It was much later"
liam sorry you find the time so long
in my house, said the hostess coldly IS
she moved away and left her guest "a
MS merited discomfort. Talent and
learning are i'll bestowed upon man
with no more refinement or taste than
MS remark betrayed.
Even the fellow who tells you that no
IS surprised you take sugar in your cof-
fee and says sweets 10 the sweet" when
offering you bonbons is 70 be tolerated
IN preference. One can only bore you at
most while the others atfront and wound.
There is a fine line between gallantry
the difference between the two. No
man need be brute 10 avoid being
fulsome tiatterer. and no man need fat
ter TO avoid being rude.
| know a man who tells every woman
he sees in evening dress that she has
the lost arms of the Venus de Milo.
heard him say 1t 10 pudgy woman
who weighed 200 and within an hour
repeat II to human skeleton. Both
women were offended and thought the
man was making sport Of their misfor-
tune. when In fact he was trying TO be
agreeable.
The pudgy woman possessed fine teeth
and the skeleton fine eyes, A man with
more brain who desired TO pay a COM
pliment would have observed these
points. but this fellow had made 1t
habit to compliment arms. and he was
no rcspecter OF persons.
The man who Is not born with tact
and who has never studied women needs
training by some wise dame before he
attempts compliments
That hat becomes you much more
than your hats usually do" heard
man remark 10 lady emo day. and the
lady was highly indignant, a. she well
might be- Tie had no business 10 speak
OF her costume at all II be could not turn
a more pleasing phrase than that. with
n less unfortunate Interpretation.
let cur young American men study
the art II paying delicate and tasteful
compliments - women. end lst them
strive 20 avoid stupid and brusaue re
inilrks which wound and offend without
seaving any useful pnrfase.
Ella NHHEiFR wucox
Mrs Frank r. Lynch Is Editor ana
proprietor 81 the Ieafen waTfh STANDARD
herself sna two children
Mr.. Lynch Is granddaughter II Hon.
samuel Meiafv. a famous cid neroa.