davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Clara-Did you accept him?
Maude-No.
Clara-Then what is he waiting over
there for?
Maude-He says he wants to see you.
-Vopua
The Wrong Man.

A good story is being told of II OF
our preachers. Last Sunday afternoon
a couple called at the parsonage and in
broken English inquired, so the reverend
gentleman understood, if the preacher
man. lived there, and on being invited
in they commenced preparing their toilet.
Of course it was supposed they had come
to be married, and every assistance was
given by the preacher and his good wife
in getting ready for the ceremony. The
bridal veil and wreath were carefully
adjusted by the Lady, and the gentleman
carefully combed his hair. Then their
hands were joined and the solemn words
spoken which bind humans together in
wedlock.
The ceremony over, of course it was
supposed the newly married couple would
be in haste to depart. But it was not so
with them, and by their actions they be-
trayed that they expected something else
before leaving. Finally the reverend
gentleman remarked, ''Well, now you
are married" and the answer came,
"Oh, yes, we been married last February
and now want nuzzer bigture taken" =
feather would have knocked down the
preacher upon the revelation. It was
the picture man" they were looking for
and not the preacher man" However,
there can % be no mistake about their
being married and that the knot is tied
good and tight.-Mansfield News.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Rather High.

The coloIed man was before a Ken
lucky judge for the statutory ofense OF
stealing chickens.
"Not guilty" pleaded the prisoner.
"This makes the third time you have
been here, doesn't it," said his honor.
"Yas, boss"
"Well, what are you here for AGAIN."
"Jis' fer de same ting, boss"
81 believe I let you off the last time,
didn't II"
"Yas, boss. Tank you"
well, this time I'll fine you SO and
costs"
The prisoner gasped.
$50 de Lawd, boss" he exclaimed,
''ain' dat a heap to pay fer m lean ole
henT'-Detroit Free Press.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
MECHANISM OF A WATCH.
A Wonderful Little Machine That Took
Hundreds of Years to Perfect.

A Wonderful Little Machine That Took
Hundreds of Years to Perfect.
Open your watch and look at the little
wheels, springs and screws, each IN in
~disrensable part of the whole wonderful
machine. Notice the busy little balance
wheel as it flies to and fro increasingly,
day and night, year in and year out.
This wonderful little machine is the re-
suit Of hundreds Of years Of study and
experiment. The watch carried ~ tie
average man is composed Of % pieces.
and its manufacture embraces more than
1000 distinct and separate operations.
Some of the smallest screws are so
minute that the unaiGed eye cannot lis-
tinguish them from steel filings or sr..l.s
of dirt. Under a powerful magnifying
glass a perfect screw is revealed. The
slit IN the head is 2-1 ,0U0 Of an inch
wide. 1t takes 308, eco Of these screws
to weigh u pound, and a pound is worth
$1,585. The h~airspring is a strip OF the
finest steel, about 81 inches long and
LOO inch wide and 2.-1O.0 O0 inch thick.
1t is coiled up i'll spiral form and finely
tempered.
The process of teInpering these springs
was long held as a secret by the few for
tunate ones possessing il and even now
is not generally known. Their manu-
facture requires great skill and care.
The strip is gauged to 20-1 600 of an
inch, but no measuring instrument has
yet been devised capable Of fine enough
gauging to determine beforehand by the
size of the strip what the strength Of the
finished spring will be. A 1-20, 600 part
of an inch difference in thickness of the
strip makes a difference in the running
of a watch of about SIX minutes per
hour.
The value of these springs when fin
ished and placed in watches is enormous
in proportion to the material from which
they are made. A comparison will give
a good idea. A ton Of steel made mp
into hairsprings when i'll watches is
worth more than ~! times the value Of
the same weight in gold. Hairspring
wire weighs 1-20 of a grain to the inch.
One mile of wire weighs less than half
a pound.
The balance gives five vibrations ey-
cry second, 800 every minute, 1900 ev-
cry hour, 432 900 every day, and 49,
$780, 900 every year. AT each vibration it
rotates about II times, which makes
1877, 100, 900 every year. In order that
we may better understand The stupen-
dous amount of labor performed by these
tiny works, let us make a comparison.
Take, for instance, a locomotive with
6 foot driving wheels. Let its wheels
be run until they have given the same
number of revolutions that Il watch does
in one year, and they will have covered
a distance equal to 2S complete circuits
of the earth. All this a watch does
without other attention than winding
nee every "a hours.-Locomotive Engi-
neer.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Short.

The tempest shrieked, and the waves
rolled mountain high-that is, roughly
speaking.
A knot Of people were huddled to.
gether on the deck of the laboring vessel.
The girl in the frilled night gown
chung in terror to the mar in the striped
bath robe.
Only the day before they had plighted
their troth.
"Darling"-
He whispered hoarsely.
1--WE must soon die"
She grew suddenly calm.
Edward" she cried above the howl.
ing Of the storm, sit is all for the best
l hate long engagements"
Locked in each others arms, they
waited.-Detroit Tribune.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20

II buy a pair of gloves each week.
Hope" said she, my dear,
You do not mind. l tell you this
To make things very clear.
Pm awful hard Oh gloves, you know,
And have been inc a child,
And when pa gets the bill each month
1t makes him nearly wild"
A gloomy smile played DER the face
Of him who loved her so.
His cheek turned pale. Great Scott!r
said he,
This is a fearful blow.
IF I had only known befor
Where I was going to land,
d not think l should have been
So anxious for that hand"
Cloak Review.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Effect of Lightning on the Body.

Ia describing the recent death of a
boy by lightning a dispatch stated that
an accurate picture Of trees and foliage
in the vicinity of the accident was made
on the boys body, which phenomenon
was supposed to have been produced by
the lightning in a similar to
that Of making pictures or photography.
This, however, is not correct. While
such marks are observable occasionally
on the bodies of persons killed they bear
no relation whatever to foliage of sur
rounding trees, although they bear a GER
tain resemblance to those objects. There
is really no photographing of the image
of the trees on the body. That the &C
tual cause is quite different can be proved
by experiment in the laboratory. When
electricity is discharged at high tension.
as lightning is, on the surface of a body
having a poor conducting power, a lu-
minous arborescent image is formed,
showing the path of one or more of the
sparks resulting from the discharge.
This was most beautifully shown in
the experiments carried out with high
tension currents in London by Swim
burne. The current would exhibit scat
tered lines of light that would develop
into most exquisite tracery and take the
form of plants Or trees. The theory Of
this phenomenon is that the irregular
courses taken by the spark may be due
to the compression of air in the path Of
the discharge, or to superior conducti7-
ity of some parts Of the surface Of the
body.-St. Louis Globe-D Democrat.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Wise Advice.

In the Life Of Rowland Hill" by
Mr.. C~harlesworth, published in London
some years ago, there are many anec-
dotes of that remarkable man.
At one time when Mr.. Hill was
preaching for the benefit of a charity a
note was handed to him, the writer Of
which asked whether it would be right
for a bankrupt to contribute to the good
u
NO" said the preacher after he had
read the note, but, my friends, l would
advise you who are not insolvent not to
pass the plate this evening, as people
will be sure to say, There goes the
bankrupt "-Youth's Companion.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Quick, but Seldom.

Mrs. Watts-Goodness! Aren't you
afraid you will ruin your digestion by
eating at so rapid a rate? You ought to
eat more slowly.
Hungry Higgins may not eat slow,
mum, but 1 eat mighty seldom.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Too Smart a Bow For That,

Mission Sunday School Teacher-Ben-
jamin, l was shocked to see you picking
up a half smoked cigarette on the street
as l came down this morning. You
ought not to smoke the vile things.
They are poisonous, filthy and disagree
able to everybody around you.
Indignant Waif-I don't smoke no
cigarettes! gifts Is cents a quart fur de
stumps at de fact'ry!-Chicago Tribune.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
A Convenient Fashion.

Mrs. de Fashion-Did you take the
medicine the doctor ordered?
Small Oaughter-Yes. an it was
horrid.
Mrs. de Fashion-Did you take a
spoonful?
Small Daughter-N-o; l took a fork
full. Spoons is out Of fashion. you
know, mamma.-Good News.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20

Mrs. Cramp handing out some nine
days old bread)-Here, Mr.. Tramp, if
you'll saw up that pile Of kindlings, you
may have this bread for your breakfast.
Mr.. Tramp calling at the door three
minutes later)-Beg pardon, mum, but
if it makes no difference to you I'll saw
up the bread and eat the kindlin wood.
Boston Courier.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
TALES FROM
TOWN TOPICS.

o. year of the most successful Quarterly
S0 ever published.
More than 5000 LEADING NEWS.
PAPERS in North America have co~mplimented
this publication during its first year, and uni
versally concede that its numbers afford the
brightest and most entertaining reading that
can be had.
Published ,st day of September, December,
March and Iune.
Ask Newsdealer for it, or send the price,
30 cents, il stamps or postal note to
TOWN TOPICS,
81 Vest 23d St., Mew York.
SW- This brilliant Quarterly is not made uo
from the current years issues of Town Tories,
but contains the best stories, sketches, bur-
lesques, poems, witticisnS, ETC., from the 5aeS
iiHn5ers of that unique journal, admittedly
the crIspest, raciest, most complete, and to all
MEN AND WOMEN the nost interest.
ing weekly ever issued.
Subscription Price:
Teva Topics. per year, -s4.oo
Tales From Town Topics, per yeas, 400
The two eluhssd, 500
Town Tories sent 5 months on trial fa
S1.OO.
N. B.-Previous Nos. of "TALRsn will be-
promptly forwarded, postpaid. on receipt OF
90 cents each.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20

Hill-MacShorte has sold a poem to
Scribbler's entitled ''Ode to Fair Lady"
Hulls-Has he? Well, he is more com
petent to write verses entitled "Owed to
q Landlady. London Tit-Bits.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
Algiers Has a stream Of Natural Ink.

In Algiers there is a small stream
which the chemistry of nature has con-
verted into real ink. 1t is formed by
the union Of two rivulets, one Of which
is very strongly impregnated with iron.
while the other, meandering through a
peat marsh, imbibes gallo acid, another
ingredient in the formation Of ink. Let
tiers and manuscript matter are satisfac-
torily written with this singular natural
compound of iron and gallo acid.-Ex-
change.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
ENCOURAGING.
Journal.

Mr.. Waite Crying to entertain his lady
loves 6-year-old sister)-Do you know
who I am?
Nossie-Yes. Pa says you're Edith's
last chance.-Lundon Tit-Bits.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20
The Human Electrical Forces!
How They Control the Organs
of the Body.
WITHOUT THE

The electrical force of the human body, as
the nerve fluid may be termed, is an espe-
cially attractive department of science, as it
exerts so marked an influence on the health
of the organs of the body. Nerve force is
produced by the brain and conveyed by
means of the nerves to the various organs OF
the hOdv thus cl1nnlvinp the latter with the
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20

Sylvan-This can't be a first class
theater, I guess.
Rhodes-Why not?
Sylvan-Well, l notice the names of
the night Waterman and janitor are not
on the programme. - Chicago Inter
Ocean,
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20

Physicians generally fail to recognize.
organ itself instead of the cause of the trouble
TIL noted specialist. Franklin Miles, M. D.,
LII. b., has given the greater part of his life
TO the study of this subject, and the principal
discoveries concerning it are due to- his efforts.
DR.. Miles Restorative Nervine, the unri-
vailed brain and nerve food, is prepared on the
difficulties originate from disorders of the
nerve c%enters. Its wonderful success in curing
these disorders is testified to by thousands in
every part of the land.
Restorative Nervine cures sleeplessness,
nervous prostration, dizziness, hysteria, sex
ual debility, st. Vitus dance, epilepsy, etc. 1t
is sold on a positive guarantee by all drug
gists. or sent direct by the DR.; Miles Medical
Go. Elkhart, Ind, on receipt of price. 81 per
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-10-20

vitality necessary to in
sure their health. The
pneumOgastric nerve, as
shown here, may be said
to be the most important
of the entire nerve sys-
TEN, as it supplies the
heart, lungs, stomach,
bowels, etc, with the
nerve force necessary 10
keep them active and
healthy. AS will be seen
by the cutthe long nerve
descending from t b e
base of the brain and
terminating in the bow
els is the pneumogastric,
while the numerous lit
tie branches supply the
heart, lungs and stom-
ach with necessary vi
tality. When the brain
becomes in any way dis
ordered by irritability
or exhaustion, the nerve
force which it supplies
is lessened, and the Or
gdns receiving the di-
minished supply are con-
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01

County Delegate-W Fahey Green Isle.
Myers: vice-president. NJ Mcmahon; rec sec,
Edward Sbaughnessy; fin sec. John Fl Fahey;
treasurer, Thos Moran; Meeting LIST Sunday in
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01
C0RRIGhN & BLEECkER
ia " YERS.'
1924 Boston Block,
MINNEAPOLIS, MINI.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN

When leaving his home at Springfield, ILL.,, to be
inangurated President of the United States,
made farewell address to his old friends and
neighbors, in which he said, ''NE1GHBoRs GIVE
YOUR BOYS A CHANCE.
Thes words come with as much for to-day
as they did thirty years ego.
How give them this chance?
UP in the Northwest is great empire watt
ing for young, aud sturdy fellows to come and
develop it and grow up with the country
Allc er this hroa land are the yonng fellows,
the boys that Lincoln referred TO- seeking to
better their condition anc get OF in life. r.
Here is their chaucel
The country referred to lies along the North
ern Pacific r. r Here you can find pretty
N CHI ANYTHING you want In Minnesota and in
the Red River Va for North Dakota. the fin
est Of prair lands tilted for wheat and grain.
or rs we'll for diversified far1ni1 q. In Western
North Dakota. an Montana, are stock ranges
limitless in extent, clothed with the most nptri-
tiols OF grasses.
If "a fruit farming region is wanted thu re is
the whole state of y shingtcn to select from.
As for scenic delights the Northern Pacific
Railroad passes through country un paralleled.
In crossing the Rocky. Bitter Root, and Cas-
cade Mountains the greatest m untain ecene ~
to be seen in the United States from Car win
do~s is to be found. Che wonderful bad lands
wonderful in graceful form and glowing color;
ara oem. axes Pend d. Oreille and Coeurd
Alene, are alone worthy of transcontinental
trir, while they are the isherma g Ultima
Thule. The ride along Clark's Fork Of the Co
lumbia River is daylight dream. Toe p the
climax this is the only way to reach the far
tameu Yellowstone Pa k.
To reach and see all this the Northern Pacific
Railroad fur isb trains and Service Of unsur-
passed excellence. The most approved and
comforta lie Palace Sleeping cars; the best Dim
good for both first and second class passengers,
easy riding Day COACHES with Baggage, Express
and Postal cars all drawn by powerful Baldwin
Locomotives, ma, traib for royalty itself
T. ose seeking for new homes should take thia
train nd and spy out the land. To be pre-
pared write to CHAS 8. FEE.
G.P GTA.,
ST. PAUL, MENN.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01
SCOTT COUNTY

County Delegate, + Leonard, Jordan.
Division No l, Belle Plai4e-President, Org &
sec, H i Conlon; fin SEQ, ] F Kilduff treasurer.
Daniel Callahan; insurance sec. James O'Neill;
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01
NATIONAL, OFFICERS

NF WHERE, N D, Philade]p hia, Ps.
M SLATrERY. N 5. Albany. n Y.
THos DUNDos. N r, Columbus, Ohio.
National DireGtorsoP ! o'Gonnor. chairman,
Murphy. Connecticut: 7 z 'Brisn. Ontario Can;
Edward Sweeney, Ohio.
STATE OFFICERS-MIN NESOTA
STATE IELEaATE-John MCCARTHY. of Still
water.
STATE SEcRETARy-Rev F 2 Keryiok, Pipe
stone.
STATE TREAsURER-John Mahoney, sos 4th
st E Minneapolis.
STATE BoARn OF DIRECToRs-P II O'Hara,
Gracevill&; J j Kinnane. Mime apolis; William
Delaney, St Paul, E Newell, Morris; G Hes
sian, Duluth.
President IF Insurance Fund, j j Kennedy St
Paul
Vioe-Preeident. D McDermott, Clontarf.
State Secretary of Insurance. John A
OShaughnessy. Saltwater.
State Treasurer of Insurance, John Sheehy,
Montgomery.
Directors of Insurance Fund. F II Grant, St
n pG k Raa Bee flene
Geo W Murphy, Faribault.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01

aRAOEvILLE. BIO STONE COUNTY.
County Delegate, Patrick Healy.
President, u O'Neill; vice-president, Thos
Dolau; rec sec, J K Grove; fin sec, r " Moo
noon; treasurer, Alex Mogran; meet LIST Sunday
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01

HlNCKLEY PINE COUNTY.
County Delegate. j d Vaughan, Pine City,
Division No |, ENTHUSIASTICALLY Cath
Hawley; fin sec. Patrick Glinnion; ms sec,
Rev E J Lawlor; treasurer. ThOs German;
meets lat and 1rd Saturday of each month
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01

THE IRISH STANDARD is only $1.5O per
year, in advance. You can send it too
friend il the old country Or
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01
AH@ HOW
NJ ~ CHEAP
1nn HOW
~ " GOOD.

1.-The best is good enough for ALL.
while The cheapest is always
questionable. not Only in value
TO the buyer, but Otherwise.
We buy the BEST material. pay
The BEST wages, produce the
BEST work, and not only satisfy
the BEST people who want the
BEST work, but satisfy all who
want to see the BEST wages
paid. Cascade Steam Laundry.
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01
The Northwestern l!ss.
Take This Line When lou Travel.
THROUGH PASSENGER SERVICE EAST
OF ST. PAUL.

THE SHORT LINE from Minneapolis and ct.
Paul to Chicago with three PASSENGER
BADGER STATE EXPRESS" for Milwauaee
and Chicago the fastest day. train running
between The PWin CITIES and chic,sgs
ing trains leaving Chicago East and
"NoRTH.WEsTERN LIMITED" for Milwaukee
Wagner Private Compartment Cars and
Buffet Smoking Library Coaches; really
the only train: first class in every respect.
THE SHORT LINE from Duluth to Chicago.
solid through train known as Chicago
Special and making the run lin in less W. tns
Buffet Sleepers On this train.
Between Minneapolis, St. Paul. Superior and
Duluth fast DAY re1s With PnrleI
Between Minneapolis, St Paul, and Ashland.
day trains 1ad;, with With Declining Chair
THROUGH PASSENGER SERVICE WEST
OF ST. PAUL.
THE SHORT LINE Minneapolis and ct. Paal
to sioux City and Omaha, with fastda1
train, making through connections
FAST k Nfsaf Eek EXPRESS, with Pullman Bu,
Sleepers to Sioux City, Omaha, and 80
sas City, connecting ct s. si9 NIX! CITY -
NOILDeIu NeDldSAAs OAaCA dAlo asAs1ss ASessssss
points West. ssssa
THE SHORT LINE between Minneapolis E.
Parll and Sioux Falls day train saRv1Ce
with connections at Lake Crystal te 81
from Elmore at Heron Lake to and tJ01A
Pipestone, at Sioux Falls to and frUngs
Mitchell. Il s.a.s 81 & ~ "
Between Minneapolis, st. Paul and Central De
kota via Kasota, night trains with Fl ~ss
man Sleeping Cars St Paul 70 1racy
For futher information % TO connee q
with other lines, through car 6eryfce, egss
rates for tickets and map fol1ef 1aoM
entire system advertised o sIhA lofehs e ss
ern Line, . and representing H. s ss
Way,call on the:Agent o. Olrs .s
III e a. Il " ll s SI
The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1893-04-01

TIE IRISH srArDAnD, $3.50 per year,
= advance. To the ~old land for ~ 500
d. year. 81.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-12-01
IDEAEHS.

BURTON.-Died yesterday morning. at
225 A. NJ, at the residence OF her hus-
band. No. lib Twenty -seventh street, Mrs.
MAGDALENE BURTON, Is years of
age.
She leaves husband and four children
to mourn their loss.
Blessed are they that die in the Lord.
Funeral will take place from the above
residence THIS EVENING at o'clock.
Friends and acqaintances are invited TO
attend.
QUINN Died November SOth. at 4SO
A. NJ, BESSIE NJ. beloved wife OF Z.
Zolle Gum, in her 22d year.
The funeral will take place from the
First Baptist church SATURDAY Az
TERNOON. December %. at $50 O'Clock.
LUCADO.-Mr MARGARET L.
CADO. the wife OF Alexander Lucado,
departed this life at quarter past
O'Clock T. NJ. November - 1888, in the
list year OF her age. She leaves hus-
band and six children 10 mourn their loss.
She died in the fun triumph Of faith.
Her funeral will take place from st.
Philips church at 3 o'clock u. Nj. FRI
DAY, December l. 1898. Friends and ac-
quaintances are invited to attend.
NICHOLAs.-Died at her residence. l0i
north Fifth street. Mrs. ORRILLA
ALICE. relct OF Hon. Robert Carter
Nicholas OF buckingham county. Va, In
the SD year of her age.
Funeral from her late residence TO-
DAY at 2:30 +. NJ. Friends Of the family
are requested to attend.