The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-02-19
Bah ON HERSELF.
OUR CHATTERBR DESCRIBES HER
MANIFOLD CHARMS.


Bao's Existence, and Doubts That
Her Mother Was a Woman-Bab
Wakes Up Laughing Every Morning
and Tells Us of the Things She
Azores " alking to the Moral 6caf-
fold-Woman's Chances for Success.
A Modest Maiden Who Aspires to Be
a Ristori, But Lacks Cesh-Who is
My Neighbor?
tCopvri1ht.)
NEW York, Feb. 81 had very indig-
psnt letter the other day. don't think it
ought to have been allowed to 60 through
the mail. But then. Of course. Mr.. Wanna
makers letter carrier don't know how nasty
II was. 1t came from a woman. She OBJ
Jeeted to my existence. She's not the first
one who has done that. Then she said that
she thought ought to be doing something
better than standing up for the rights OF
man; and she added-and l suppose she
meant TO be sarcastic-that she supposed and
she underlined supposedly that my mother
had been woman. and consequently /
ought to stand by them. If had ever had
any doubt on this subject, should be in a
dime museum earning several thousand dol
lars week; but, unfortunately, close res
search proves that l was born like most
other people.
Then the lady went on to say that she
was sure was lacking in ideas; that women
were angels, that men were brutes, that
was worse, and that was frivolous, light
headed person. / don't deny any OF these
lmputetions. She can call me anything that
sne wants if she will stop using stub pen
and putting her letters so close that it takes
a magnifyinR glass to tell q from an r. l
can see that woman her teeth we're set hard
as she wrote down her opinion, and every
hair In her head bristled
WITH EXCITEMENT AND vAsELINE
and she put forth what she thought in black
and white. She also said that the mother
who bore me would regret it. Now, what
was the use of her saying thatl It's too late
In the day to change affairs, and funnily
enough the mother who bore me rather APP
proves of me; think it ia because people
generally take US for sisters, for even moth
ers have their little weaknesses.
Then the writer thereof announced that
she was certain that I consorted with
actresses and people who played cards, and
that was undoubtedly giveu to music Of a
light character. l do. l am. l always
thought consorting meant getting married,
and can't marry everybody l know, but
OF whom play delicious game of poker,
and one or two who are 30 delicate in their
operations that they eau get your money
from you and make you feel as though they
were dong you a great favor.
IL Is usually managed by holding
four aces when you have
full hand. As TO music I'd rather hear
somebody sing "My Sweethesrt's the
Man In the Moon" and, by-the-by,
the typewriter Is to be married In June), or
Daddy Wouldn't Buy Ne a Bow-wown
than anything that Wagner ever wrote or
that was howled in German or Italisn; and,
to make matters worse, I'd much rather
hear French play on the banjo than listen
to Paderewski my taste Is low" The
woman struck me there. As for frivolity,
wake up laughing. / then play with the
dogs, and laugh every chance get. II l
only could learn to whistle l should be
happy; but don't seem to have the mouth
or to have inherited that great gift.
Bah AS SHE LOOKS.
The good sister who wrote to me has led
me into this sort Of autobiography because
she dared me TO ''sass back and nobody
can "das" the with IMMUNITY or a stub pen.
She said she didn't believe was a woman.
and wouldn't tell what looked like Here
goes for a pen-snd-lnk description. I'M
fortunately am small, though a man who
Is very fond Of me says there Is no pleasure
In hugRing giraffe, which is oonsoling.
Then l haven't got much hair. It was
"took off" 10 an unkindly way owing to ill
ness and is now just long enough to curl,
but try TO make it look proper by parting
it In the middle. / have brown eyes. /
should have preferred them to have been
blue, but l wasn't consulted. My nose is
straight and have all my teeth but one,
which, 1t is unneC esSary to state, is
the special wisdom one that would
have kept me fr ON the paths OF primrose
on which love to daily. l wear a so
glove and a No. 2 slipper; 1 can get into a
Ia, but don't like anything tight. l can
sew some, but think can play with dogs
better. / am a first-class housekeeper, and
when the newspapers stop paying me for
syndicate letters expect to advertise in the
most important Que for such position with
an elderly gentleman who leans toward
mAtrimony. l will feed him so we'll that
he will forget all about matrimony. do
not walk well-I prefer to ride in chaises.
/ love novels, | adore a good play, aud
a new frock will make me happy.
but l can't tell you just how happy
IL will make me, though I'll put
it on for everybody's benefit, and regret that
there are not more people to see it. That
woman hit the nail on the head. / am frivo-
lous, but am feminine
woMAN's MIGHTY REIGN.
Somehow they seem to be together, and
have known a frivolous woman endure
more, make things happier for others and
cause the whole world to be happier be-
cause Of her existsuce-I don't mean that
am that sort. Still, L have seen that sort.
The woman who can walk to the moral
scaffold and suffer without wincing for
somebody else. is usually the woman
who can dance all night, throw rose
buds at her sweethearts and put on her
finest frook and suffer her awful doom.
stand up for the rights of man; but still
know there Is lot OF good about women.
Nobody needs to sit down with a stub pen
to write me letter to tell me that. Woman.
generaizing. is getting very oocky. She is
running the Chicago fair, and she has a
tolerably large say in everything else. II
she is gOod-looking, she can get on the
| stage, and it she has got the sense TO be
purely feminine, she can get her work taken
on the newspapers. l love to look at the
masculine woman who is going TO make
great success by putting the intellect of
man into her work, for l always know with
what duh sickening thud her work tum-
bles into the waste basket.
EDITORS ARE THE sMARTEsT MEN
in the world, and they touch the button
every time when they want a woman's
work to be womanly. That's her chance for
success. She can be just as clever and just
as witty, and ten times as original, but ID
I r. e.