The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1893-03-18
A SPRINKLE OF SPICE

- am dying for love of YOU" he wrote;
Life cannot long be endured.v
And she answered thus-in neat foot-note:
81 trust you are fully insured"
-Atlarta Constitution.
Buyer-There's hole in the pocket of
this ulster. Salesman-Oh, well, there's
no extra charge for that. That goes with
the conference.-the journal.
Hail, gentle spring.
But, gentle spring, do not
We prithee, hail.
Unless you make it hot.
Detroit Free Press.
In the spring q deeper crimson
Comes upon the robins breast;
In the spring the maiden lays her
Head upon her young mans vest;
In the spring, a little later,
Maiden doth in hoops appear
And the young man, at a distance,
Stands dejected-can't get near.
kansas City journal.
Don't you want to go out between
acts to see somebody's" with tinge of
sarcasm in her voice. "Oh, no." he re-
joined, signing as he glanced at the erin
dimes between himself and the alsles.-
Detroit Tribune.
1t Wasn't There.-"You have speci-
mems of the furniture used by the aborig-
ines 2" asked visitor at the Smithsonian
institution. "Oh, yes" replied the at
tendant. Then l should so much like
to see the Indian bureau. Vogue.
81 can dispose of whole boat-load of
Sailors" remarked the whale, "but it's
when l swallow their yarns that [ feel
worsted. "-Elmira Gazette.
One of the redeeming features of a Wap-
ner concert IS that you can't hear the
man next to you whistling his accom-
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Papa-Wonder how it is night-shirts
last longer than dress shirts. Mamma
fesa Il omit 81,
Fashionable Physician - What Won
really need is change of climate. The
Patient-Change of climate! Why. Pye
lived in New DIRK all my life.
sDid Mr.. Cumso seem ANNOYED at vour
calling with his bill ?" asked MIR. Gaskett
of his new collector. mo, sir" replied
the young man. ION the contrary, he
asked me to call again.
Gabriel-There's a stranger without.
St. Peter-W ithout what? Gabriel
without the gate. st. Peter-Well, tell
him to get gait on!
Wife-And so you've got your life in
sured for my benefit! That's lovely
Husband-N es, MY dear; but Just re-
member, if you drive me to suicide you
won't get cent.
Adams-Did you ever see anyone Sc
full of his business as De Sappy? Jones
What is his business? Adams-He's
with the gas company.
''You have a pretty good beat, now.''
said the man who was waiting for a street
car. ''Oh, Oi don't know,'' replied the
policeman, as he looked atfectionately AZ
his club. Me muscles all roight. but
me finder heart sort of holds me back y
George-Have L come too early dear.
Laura-No, George. We have lust had
tea, and always ought to come right
after t."-Chicago Tribune.
"Binkerton is going into litigation.' -
what about?" He got hurt in a duel
and wants to collect his accident insur-
ance.n -Washington Star.
did you hear about the theatrical COM
pany that got stranded on a cannibal
island p" No" We'll, it happened. and
the head of the tribe said atterward that
the best part of the meal got away while
he was eating the supe. "-Providence
Bulletin.
Wonderful climate in Arizony," said
the returned wanderer, 81 knowed a
teller to have twenty-seven bullets shot
into him an still git well as ever" HE
must have suffered great deal" "He
did, pardner, he did. The pore Teller
was so full o. holes he couldn't hold
whisky."-Indianapolis Journal.
Mr.. Hardpushed-Wh in thunder
all this bill Tor dress materials-S45 Il?
l thought you were wearing last winters
dress, which you made over yourself
and 1t only cost $50 when it was new.
Mrs. HardpuShed-So | am, John; and
don't understand how it came to SC
much-tor | made it over exactly accord
ing TO the directions in the Answers to
Correspondents" column of the House
UIJe'S Administrations