The Portland daily press., 1893-01-26

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Beneath those trousers beats a warm
heart. Smith & Gray's Monthly.
GET THE GENUINE.
If you suffer with lame back especially in
morning, ALLCocK's PLAsTERs are sure re
lief.
If you cannot sleep, try an ALLcocK's PLAs-
TER, well up between the shoulder blades
often relieves-s0metimes cures. Fry this oe-
fore you resort to opiates.
If any of your muscles are lame-joints stiff
feel as they wanted oiling-or if you suffer with
any local pains or aches, these plasters will
cure you.
If you use them once you will realize why so
many plasters have been made in imitation OF
them. Like all good things, they are copied as
closely as the law allows. Don't be duped by
taking an imitation when it is asIeasy to get the
genuine.
If you always insist upon having ALLcocK's
POROUS PLAsTERs and never accept substi
tute you will not be disappointed.
Late one evening doctor received note
from couple of fellow-practitioners saving:
spray, step across to the club. We are one
short for game of poker"
s'Emily dear" he then said to his wife, 81 am
called away again. 1t appears to be very
serious case. for there are TWO doctors already
in attendance. "-Texas Siftings.
The persevering use of Ayers Sarsaparilla
will certainly cure chronic catarrh
A Willy Wooer.
He was going to propose to her, and he
prefaced his propo al with the following con-
undrum
"Why," he asked, sis your house more nota-
BILE than the whole city of Chicago?"
SIS it sop
.1t is"
"Chicago contains only the Worlds fair, but
| this house contains the worlds fairest"
| His proposal was ia orably received.-New
| York Press.
Neighbor, see you not the signal
In that loved ones cheek?
Heed you not that constant hacking,
While the form grows weak?
O, delay not, or this dear one
Soon DEATHS own will be.
You can save her by the use OF
Pierce's G.. M. D.
| In other words, get the Golden Medical Dis
| covery" and rescue this member of your family
| from consumption, which threatens her. 1t
has saved thousands. According to the doctors
| it has wrought miracles, for it has cured those
| whom they pronounced incurable. except by a
miracle. 1t is a truly wonderful remedy. For
! all bronchial, throat and lung diseases, weak
lungs. Splitting Of blood and Kindred ailments it
! is sovereign remedy.
| Lacking in Originality.
| Come Edward,o said the Boston mamma,
''you must have your face land hands washed.
| All little boys have to have their hands washed
| you know"
.sThen, mother" replied Edward hastily
placing book mark in the first. volnme OF
| ing the common throng in a custom so utterly
| commonplace. Chicago News Record.
whiskers is Buckinghams Dye.
| Strategy.
| Small BOy-Mamma wants you to send her
| I'D two barrels of those apples she was lookin'
| at
Dealer-All right, sonny.
Small Boy-Say, couldn't you pour the two
| barrels into one big one?
[ Dealer--Eh? What for?
| Small Boy-Then she couldn't get it through
| the door of the lock closet.-Good News.
! Taken after dinner Ayers Pills promote easy
digestion. Have you seen Ayers Almanac?
| Businesslike.
| He was an old merchant who devotes much
| time to his advertising.
"John," said his wife, "what do you want put
| on your tombstone?"
| "Oh" he answered, sit isn't important what
the text is, so long as it gets good space and is
| we'll displayed" -Washingto Star.
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