St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-11-12

an gentlemen, We ourselves are upside
down, an the pictur' is right side
mp. 1t should be remembered
that this photograph of Adam an
Eve wuZ taken afore SIN entered into
the worl'. But sin entered into the
worP an turned everything topsy-
turvy am upside down, an this pictur'
of Adam an Eve, taken wen the earth
was inherent, shows exactly how they
looked afore the worP was turned up
side down by sin. 1t is erect pictur'
of the only two human beings what ever
existed in state Of lGnercency."
My next pictur'." | went on, ''is a
pictur' of David an Jonathan. BehoP,
my fren's, how tenderly they look into
each others eyes, with what mighty
love they gaze upon each others llni-
ments. See the muchful devotion with
which they look into each others faces,
an behOl' the pictur' of the greatest
love, p'raps, the worP has ever SEEM"
Jest then that blunderin' lunkhead,
Tom turned OH a pictur' of Cain a-kill-
in Abel. Ii l could ha' got at Tom then
I'd initiated Gains example; but that
was out of the question an had to say
Suthin'. So bluShed an swaliered am
managed to say:
Ladies' an gen'lemen: P'raps this
pictur' don't look SO very lovin' to you;
but that's where ye're mistaken. Yer
see David b'longed to amateur dr.
matte club, an in this pictur' he is re-
hearsin' with Jonathan jest afOre APP
pearin' in his role OF villain at the Op'ry
house. He is the villain am Jonathan is
his victim, an this pictur' is from a
photograph he had took at the rehearsal,
showin' the villain KILN his victim in
order that he might put it in all the
store winders, am so advertise the
show"
Wall. l got out er this purity slick, al
though the audience begun to look
kinder 'spicious, an so l KEEP on.
The mex pictur'," L said, lis the pic
tur' of the famine in Egypt. You all
know there had been no rain for seven
years. You will see from this repre-
Sentation that every brook an river has
been dried up, ev'ry lake an pond has
evaporated, the whole lam is parched
dry an dusty. am there amt drop Ell
water In all Egypt"
Just here that fool Tom turned on the
pictur' of Noah's flood.
Wall, this deposited me in regular
cavity: but had to say Suthin'. an SO
swallered down my heart that was
way up in my throat am said:
Ladies an gentleman: This pictur',
to be sure, don't look very dry an dusty,
an you might possibly be deceived by
lookIn' at this into the idea that there
was considerable water aroun'. But
you are mistaken. There amt, You
must remember that the folks in Egypt,
at this particular time. was all
craZy-jest as crazy as looms. You
know that folks who get lost on the
desert, who go without water for
great many days, imagine they see
water everywheres. Rivers flow right
in front on 'em; they stan up to their
naikS in lakes; cataracts tumble aroun'
'em in all directions, an they float in
the middle of great oceans. Wall. the
people in Egypt at that time WIZ jest as
crazy as that, an it was one er these
crazy Egyptians who painted this pic
tur' Wen he had one of his crazieSt
spells"
The audience looked at me out of the
corner of its eyes. and begun to go out.
But still l thought I'd finish up my
lectur'.
Ladies' an gentlemen" went on,
there is a pictur' of Methuselah in his
nine hundredth an siXty-ninth year.
This is representation of the eXtrem-
est OF age this worl' has ever seen. You
can see venerableneSS depicted Oh ev'ry
llniment. Behol, my trien's, the great
age that shows in every feature an at
titude of this oldest man the worP has
ever SEEM"
Jest here Tom turned on the pictur'
of baby Moses in the Uulrushes.
L wanted to postpone the lectur' long
enough to go an kill Tom, but had TO
say Suthin' am SO l KEEP On.
Ladies an gen'men: You may pos
sibly think that this pictur' don't look
very venerable. But that's where Won
make a very serious bIunder. You
know, even in our day, that men, as
they grow old. grow childish. But wen
they lived to be as old as Methusaieh
was they were not only childish,
but they become regular babies agin.'
Methusaleh get into his secon'
childhood so fur that he wore short
cloes, an had rubber ring to bite, an
used to keep his great-great-gr eat-
grandchildren awake half the night
cryin' with the collie. AM it is thought
he died prematurely from disappoint-
ment; because wen his nurse went
shoppin' she promised to buy him new
rattle, but she got SO interested in her
dry goods bargains she forgot all about
il. 1t is tragic to think how this noble
OF mans days was shortened by this
careleSSneSS.
Lets er more of the audience went out
here. but thought l would finish the
thing up, an SO L KEEP on.
Ladies an gentlemen" l said, 81
will now present to you pictur' of fem
mime beauty, sich as the worl' seldom
sees today. 1t is pictur' of Ruth. What
beauty! What loveliness! What charms,
What supreme an transcendent sweet
nessr
Here Tom flashed out pictur' of that
miser'Dle OF bag. the Witch of Eudor
She hadn't a tooth in her head, am her
chin was covered with whiskers.
Wall, there WuZ only two left in the
audience, but thought must explain
to them. an so | said:
II am very sorry that / am unable to
show you pictur' of Ruth taken wen
she was younger. But Ruth was great
ham to putin off things, because she
was allus busy about fancy work an
housework an one thing an another,
an so she didn't git time to have her
pictur' took until she was lob years old,
an this ere is the pictur' taken at that
date.
BY this time the audience had all
gone, an foun' that we had taken in
S6.42; an. sdon't you think, that fool
Tom had the cheek 10 claim half of it.
CRIT aCOUaINuEcH WITH vnuD