News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1893-05-25
A Great Day for AgentS.

1t was Just after Christmas that
got round so that [ had a day to run
my candles. That was a great day
for agents, too. Agents! | should
think so. Seems to me as if all the
agents in New England took a bee
line for POttsville.
I'd hurried round, and got the
washin an irOnin' an a lot O. bak-
in done up the fust O. the week, an
Wednesday got up early, ready to
make sassage and run candles.
I'd got my fat on, an my meat all
ready to chop, when there come rap
at the Settin'-room door. Before l
could get there, however, it opened,
and in walked a fattish kind of a
woman, carryin' asort of leather case
in one hand.
Chow dye do, ma'am?" she ask
ed, talkin' as if her life depended on
it, an never waitink for an answer.
"Ain't it a nice day? How's your
health? Are your folks well? Did |
understand from a lady up the road
here that you had seven children?
How are they all? Oh! you are MT
the one? Never mind. l have here,
ma 'am-she'd been unrOllin' her case
all the time, and here took out a roll
of something have here a new
style of corset that gives n most styl-
ish air to the stOutest figure. This is
the most remark a BILE corset ever pro-
duced in this age or any other. Why,
it makes a stout person look slim as
a girl, or a slim one look nice and
plump l should advise you as a
friend, ma am, to buy this corset. 1t
has an electric spring in the back
that will keep you warm in the cold
est day, and sOequalizes the tempera-
ture as to prevent your becoming
overheated in the warmest weather.
1t has galvanized iron springs in
front that are so comfortable you'll
hate to take them off at night, while
they impart a grace and beauty to a
female figure that is unequaled in the
history of corsets in the past. Just
let me put them on you. You've no
idea how it will improve your figure.
Why"
Just here 1 smelt my fat burnin',
and rushed out there in hot haste;
but she followed
1T will impart a trul y marvellous
charm to your manner, and you will
be admired by everybody. You know
men Just love an elegant figure.
She said this last in such a lacka-
daisical way, it madded me, and l
broke in:
"Men!" says l. "Men! An a
married womanl What business
have l goin' round incitin' the ad-
miration O. men? H'aint | a pard-
ner? Don't he admire me just as
much in a loose calico sack as he
would in q set of electric-spring, gal
vanized sheet-irOn corsets? l don't
want to hear no more such talk, an
| won't, neitherI "
She see she was on the wrong track
so she begun over again.
"Well, you wear corsets? All Ia
dies do, of course. We sell"
"No, ma am, says |, Idon'tWear
corsets, nor never did. Iput onsome
once, an felt as if I'd been run into a
plaster-o'- Paris mould, such as they
put on folks with spinal an kindred
diseases"
"Oh, but these you could wear, I'm
surel" she went on, determined to
get round me some way. You
wouldn't be without them a single
day if you knew how they would i'm.
prove your figure"
s::My figger," | went on, calmly
n up my chopin tray. is just
IRyGhe Lord made it. If He'd wanted
a galvanized trap round me, He'd "a
built one there to begin with. Sc
long as He and my Johnson are salts
| fed with it, | be-"