The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-12-01
THE WALLFLOWER.
| wish / was dead!

/ am Is years old. I never really
noticed it till now. l am perfectly
sound in mind and limb, as they say
of horses; 1 can't find wrinkle, or a
crows foot on my face II I look ever
so hard; I could dance all night with
out stopping but no matter
[ have had my day. and the
sooner / realize the fact the better
1 suppose 1 oughtn't to complain,
I've had good time. on the whole.
1 came out, and was made a fuss
about, and lots of people fell in love
with ne-and that's always supposed
to be pleasant. Not for them. poor
thingsl but then no woman
ever thinks Of that.
I've danced. and fiirted. and gos-
siped, and amused myself generally,
and made a business of pleasure. If
the dancing shoes I've worn out were
collected, what heap there would
be! And all the frocks I've worn and
torn and put my foot through-and
compliments I've had-and the offers
I've refused Oh yes. was
a success-not doubt of It!
And now what's the good of 1t all?
I've made a certain number of people
quite miserable, but I've never been
in love rnyself-not really
except perhaps
I was very heartless. I've been told
times out of number that l had no
heart" Men always say that when
girl refuses them, to save their own
vanity. but in my case daresay it
was true.
Well, nobody cares now if I have a
heart or not. It's all different. l have
got q certain number of friends whose
steps suit mine, who ask me for
dances, but without enthusiasm, and
talk to me of this or that dear little
thing over there, who is enjoying her
self soi' They say I'm good sort,
and a real friend" A friend! What
l can see the ball pom reflected in
the mirror here. How nice and cool
the glass is to my hot cheek! What a
fool 1 must lookl only there
is nobody can see me-and if they did
they wouldn't care. Nobody misses
me. There's Laura Gray! She tries
to be the good samaritan Of the bali
room. Don't let me catch her eye, or
she will come and throw me cast off
Laura, but I don't want charity
dances. l should say was engaged.
will not dance with veterans, or
boys. l had rather sit it out.
How decidedly melancholy dance
music isl l never noticed it so much
before. I could lie down on the floor
this very minute and howl, if 1 were
to let myself go.
Suppose I were to cross the room and
talk to Mrs, Fleming, and ask her if
she means to have influenza again this
T7zyf1 10 lad I
No, see she is asleep, and if she were
not, she would only tell me of Violet's
projections. I see them $
everybody sees them On
dear.
There is Violet-with John Forrest
He is looking at her exactly as he used
to look at me-eight years ago. Why
did we quarrel My fault. begin to
think. suppose it was, but I know 1
felt very much in the right at the time
am not sure now if And he
has not said more than three words to
me sincel It's rather awkward! We
have TO go on meeting, as we move in
the same sets, and both he and l hate
a fuss Oh the world, the world Any
thing not to have people talk. But he
has never forgiven me. If he We're to
ask me for dance now, should think
the end of the world had comet I
needn't be afraid, though I was much
too horrid
thought Oh. it's just my fancy lcgg
And 1 don't want him to, eitherl
| wonder if he really cares for Violet
Fleming? She's delightfully."- young
and naive-and enthusiastic ] know
he thinks so but she has the red
dest arms I ever saw!
Oh, don't let me be spitefuI!
know the cadence. The yalse is
nearly over They will all come by.
That's the most awful moment of all!
1t is so hateful to have to try and look
unconcerned. and as if l were sitting
here because l preferred it.
Oh, can't bear it. Til marry. I'll
marry Mr.. Brown. He adores me
he is only waiting, as Herbert's poem
says:
that WEAKNESS may toss me to his
breast
l shall condescend to let him see that
I don't absolutely dislike him. l shall
be a clergyman's wife, and live in the
country. How terriblei But it's the
only way out of il - for mel Yes for
me, bu. for him! I don't love him.
How could I? ] should have to tell
him, and even a Mr.. Brown is not SO
abJect as to marry woman who tells
him pointblank that she can only prom
Use to-tolerate himI And if l don't
tCll iiiIlI. IL WOufQ De nedn-
No. I'll go into convent. How dulll
Not so dull as marrying MIR. Brown,
though.
Here they all come! / must try and
look unconcerned. ! know every stitch
OF my fan by heart but will pretend
Il interests me deeply. I can see over
the top of it.
Here's the first coupled Billy Danyers
and Miss Forrestl l was his first love.
and he's trying hard to make Grace
Forrest think she isl Let himl
Mrs. Jenkyn and our fostl She's
widow. ! wish someone would make
me widow. What am I saying? But
she laughs Ike a child. That's the
good of being a widow.
Here's Mr. Hastings. He really was
in love with me once, so now he detests
me- "A man scorned," is much worse
than woman scorned. He won't even
look at me. No straight nasti
Why. here's Violet-with MIR. Darcy
] thought she was dancing with John
Forrest. And John Forrest-aIone,
May you have a dance, MIR. Forrest7
Ives, certainly. The next? The
next but one.
Oh, good heavens! The end of the
world? or the beginning PHI. |
V. in Black and White. -
Unique Entertainments.