The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-10-03
THOUGHT THEY "HAD 'EM."
Two Incbrlntcs Mortified by the Inmate
of II Frenl, Eonrdinc House.

Two lncDTlntcS hOfIlleu ny inc AuulutSs
of u freak Boarding House.
New York Herald.
"Vichy and milk" said the tall thin
man with the Roman nose.
"Whatp calculated the man with the
full beard. "Holy snakes! What's
going to happon?.'
Nothing. That's the reason I'm
taking mild drinks. I'm going to be on
the sale side. thought last night it
had happened. think SO yet"
"What--the wiIlys?" asked ne OF the
beard, pouring out mans dose Of old
KaintucG.
"Sure. You see me and Jimmy had
been down to Staten Island fishing.
We had skate on when we started,
and when We found the fish wasn't Bit
ing we dropped lines aud everything
and went to the hotel down there.
They had nothing but beer and apple
Jack. Beer makes me bilious, so !
touched the applejack up. We amused
ourselves until about Z o'clock, when
the mosquitoes began to get frlsky, and
then says;
Jimmy, let's get DacR.
"He was as willing as was, and We
started. We rodo long ways-until
the conductor yelled out Stapleton-l
think that was the place. We piled out
like lot OF idiots.
"'Where'a the New York boat2 l
asked OF Il man who was standing
around killing mosquitoes.
"'Boatp he says. About two miles
down. You got out at the wrong place,
guess
LETS walk it Jimmy says I. 1T
will do us good
"Well, we zigzagged up the road. We
had gone about mile, knocking into
trees and up against fences, and almost
getting run over once by brewery
wagon. Jimmy was ahead OF me-about
twenty ieet-when he came tearing
back.
Run, Bob TO- Gods sake, run J
"Whats the NATTER? asked him.
"'Don'task me, but run, and hetried
to got away. l made up my mind he
had 'em-you know-the WHY'S. !
made him walk along with me. We
hadn't gone ten steps when we saw
something coming. 1t was dressed like
man, but it was as thin as a skeleton.
1t went past us quietly.
"Did you see III? asked Jimmy.
"'Yes. 1t was only man, said,
bracing up. A little ways further We
saw another man. This one weighed
about a thousand pounds.
HORRIBLE SIGHTS.
"See anything?' asked Jimmy, hold
ing on to my arm. walk fast. There's
woman. Ask her ii we're on the
right road.
She was leaning against gate post.
Madame said, bracing up, can
you tell u.s. She turned around.
Jimmy let out a yell and darted up the
road. / couldn't speak. She had big
black beard. looked up at her house.
A Zulu was coming toward me; a little
man in an evening suit was standing on
the porch talking to n man with three
legs A big skye terrier, dressed i'll a
mans suit, was sitting in chair, smok'
ing cigarette, and woman with two
heads was talking to him and singing q
song for the man with the three legs.
"Well, didn't wait for any more. l
followed Jimmy. lost my hat and my
scarf pin. remember running through
lot Of rose bushes and jumping over Il
picket fence. Isaw two big white lights.
ran in between them and found my
self up against bar
"a pint OF whisky, quick / yelled
to the barkeeper. l watched him 90
after the bottle, and saw Jimmy at the
other ond OF the bar, holding on to the
rail. It took us an hour to brace up,
and now we've both signed the pledge
for year."
you'd see the same things ii you
went down there in broad daylight, so.
bor," said the barkeeper with the red
mustache. That's n freak boarding
house. All the museum people go
down there"
"Make me large cocktail" muir
INJURED the man with the Roman nose.
'The pledge don't 20. Make me a quart
of cocktails and I'll take them toJimmy |;
he's in bed vet"