The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-08-26
HICKS PATENT COOKER,
The Pathetic Story That Induced
the Rector to Buy.

II would like to call your attention
10 my paytent cooker said the mild
hammered man with the soft low voice
to the rector Of St Bartholomew's- 1T
consists, as mebbe you can see"
But | don't desire a cooker. and
would not look at one if / did" inter
rupted the rector OF St Bartholomew
in as irascible name as is permitted
to his cloth.
They come in three sizes" contin-
ued the m~ild-mannered man with the
soft low voice-'small. mejum and
large They're made of tin. genuwine
block tin. not rolled tin. l have fire.
quently been congratulated on the
quality OF my tin. Said Bishop Dobson
to me: Hicks, / congratulate you on
the quality of your tin"
Bishop Dobson?" queried the rector
of St Bartholomew's with languid in
terest. Il don't remember to nave seen
his name in the church calendar"
"Methody," explained the mild-man-
nered man Tn a Methody. Here's
a certificate from my pastor saying I'm
an individnoal of moral character and
use good tin in my cookers. Here's a
letter from Rev. Edward Atkins-but
don't set much store by that, bein' as
he is a Baptis', and no judge of tin.
The principle on which my cooker is
based
You will have to xcus me" said
the rector of St. Bartholomew's, look
ing hard at the heavy gold watch pre-
sented him by the parish on his last
birthday. but / have a sermon to
write"
"Mebbe your lady would like to see
the cooker" said the mild-mannered
man. Its made of genuwine block
tin, and Bishop Dobson himself said:
Hicks, | congratulate you on the quail
ity of your tin"
Il have no wife" said the rector.
with the merest suspicion of a blush
Then buy a cooker and git one" said
the mild-mannered man. c~onfdentially.
With Hicks paytent cooker as an
argumint, you will git one easy. They
come in three sizes-small, mejum and
large This here is the small one.
Folds all up, you see. like a telescope.
Mebbe you wouldn't believe it. but one
of them small-sized cookers saved nv
life once. 1t was in the spring of 1853.
or the fall of 1852, or the winter of
1854, l don't remember which and it
don't make no difference, that Rev. DIR.
James Wilyums, d. D.. and / took pas
sage for Africky in the brig Thomas J.
ANalET1n nNirf nc rfer,Or,- ;oe
Of the numerous cannibal tribes that
keeps down the population, and conse-
quently accounts for the depressed
values of real estate in the Dark Con-
tinent. Rev. DIR. Wilyums was to teach
h savages religion, but my mission
was a nor important one. / was to
introduce Hicks paytent cooker aDOng
EN- You can see that even this large
sized cooker won't hold a man, to say
nothin' of the mejum and small
ones. Now / calculated to teach the saw
ages to use my cookers, and when they
got so attached to 'em as to never eat
nothin' except what was cooked In a
cooiker-seein' hat you couldn't cook a
man in 'em-cannibalism would natur-
ally die ont. When | preached nv plan
to Bishop Dobson his eyes shone and he
said: Go, Hicks, 90. Your work will
supplement the work of Rev. DIR. Will
gums. / heartily commend your plan,
and | congratulate you o the quality
of your tin Them was his words, and
l went.
well, sir, the mornin' after / ar
rived in Africky | began to talk to the
chief about my cooker, when what
does he do but take me down to the
leadin' grocery store of the town and
show me Rev. DR.. Wilyums chained up.
"Can you cook him?' axed the chief.
No said |, my breath all gone
with surprise at the turn affairs had
took.
Well said the old chief, 'them's
the kind of victuals we eats. We don't
consume much in the way of breakfast
foods. infants foods and the like. If
your cooker can't cook our style of pro-
visions we amt got any use for it.
"And with that they put me in their |
jail. and that was the last l ever seen
or heerd Of Rev. DIR. James Wilyums, |
d. d.. They would have ct me at once, |
but the chiefs daughter, Ugogina, fell
in love with me, and made 'em put off
the obsequies or festivities, according
as you looked at it from my stand
point or the savages'. I talked nice to
Ugogina, and got her to bring me my
small-sized cooker, the only one the old
witch doctor what kept the cookers
would let her have: and with that I