New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-11-12
OUT OF STEP.
XVI.
REFORMATION?

.rven Won have been so dull that you haven |
no,ced that I'm turning over a new leaf It's
so humiliating for a human being to be mere
driftwood in the current of natural procHvitles'
Moore glanced seriously down at his COM
RAMON. He had never heard her speak Ike
that before He said nothing, and she went
ON now with something like soemnity
81 have an idea that words take away from
action, somehow; don't you think that they 90
When you have talked a great deal about DONG
q thing Won have a sort of comfortable feeling
as If you had done it."
She was not a woman much given to making
resolutions: at least. not since she had outsro"h
the morbid physical conditions of her girhood.
She could not tell why the sight Of that sur
reon had in some way stung her with new
wish to control her own being. good resolu-
lion ALWAYS carries a certain comforting power
like a step in the right direction But II was
not alone the meeting with DR.. jennings
It was look which she surprised upon her
husbands face. He did not know that she
saw it, Perhaps it had all the greater eftect
because Of that fact.
It was after he had been talking to her about
truth. He had left her. a few moments later
she had gone down to the public parlor for
book she had been reading there
She was startled to see Moore near the fire.
place. There happened to be no one else IN
the ROOM Her football had made no sound on
the CARPET She remained motionless. gazing at
him. He was standing with his hands in his
pockets his head somewhat bent. in an atti-
tude very unusual with him.
Salome's heart contracted with feeling al
ferent from any she had ever known. She
knew her husband was thinking OF her, pam
fully, bitterly. with Encouragement.
She did not enter the room. She went
silently I'D the stairs again and sat down at
window of her own chamber. She should see
Randolph when he went out. In short time
she saw him walking down the street. lie
moved as one preoccuped. She kept her eyes
upon him as long as he was in sight Theh she
rose from her place and walked about aim
,ess,v for a moment. Her face now was more
like the face Of that girl who had been sent
South for health
She held her hands tightly pressed together
Suddenly she stopped in her walk and knelt
down in front OF a chair pressing her face INTO
a velvet cushion.
She was quiet so long that one might nave
thought that she had fallen asleep
When she did rise she walked to table
and took up a Bible lying there She turned
its leaves slowly. but she did not appear to
be reading. In fact, she did not read WORD.
The mere sense that she was holding the Bible
from which her mother read every day, ana
in which she used to read faithfully-this mere
sense was all that she required just now. 1t
took her back.
At last her lips moved
II don't see why I-myself-dont care. why
don't l. of myself, have the wish TO speak the
truth? What is it that they call being up
right anyway? Does 1t make any difference
Some people seem to think so much of it. Yes.
and some people think SO much of music, or
of dress or of this thing or that There's
l Portia Nunally; she tells lies sometimes, I'm
sure. And she able TO think Of marrying
that Major Root. She was going TO sell herself.
Isn't she as bad I am? What is it about
me that makes my mother and Randolph so
Worried"
She stopped in her talk TO herself and looked
about her distressfully.
"Surely, l love him we'll enough" she ex-
claimed, Ito be anything he wants me to be-
I'm going to tell the truth about everything,
even the slightest little thing. I'm going t.
do it for him; just as l would learn to play
the tambourine or anything else. l didn't
know but that he might get over feeling this
way; and 1 didn't know but that l might get
over feeling my way, and get TO caring foi
the truth
Perhaps IT would be good plan to pray ir
regard to this. Somehow it doesn't seem neces
sary to pray when you are happy. God ap
pears to be taking Of you then without
any Interference. But shall pray"
She went back to the chair and knelt dowr
again. She clasped her hands before her as sh;
had formerly done when she had prayed morn
ing and night. She made her petition aloud: il
was more real to her. for that was the way she
had done in the old farmhouse when prayer hat
been so much to her.
To her great surprise her mood instantly be
came fervidly and reverently beseeching. Sh'
had Of late only put up frequent and amos
involuntary prayers for her husband She nigh
be said TO be praying for him all the time
Her asking Of God now was simple in the ex
treme. Any listening to her without seeini
her would have said he was hearing devou
child.
"Oh Lord" she said "you must help me t
tell the truth. You must make lie odious f
me. for a lie Is odious to my husband and m,
mother They want me TO be truthful. An,
since I can't seem to care anything about
myself I've made up my mind that I'm going T.
be truthful just to please them. Lord, wisl
you would forgive me because the motive ism
right but / can't help 1t. l can't help 1t. S
I'm just going to be good to please them Lord
be kind to and don't let me make m
husband unhappy. i love him so. love hir
eo"
She did not say amen" Her voice merel
stopped Perhaps it was because Of the yer
simplicity Of the words that her petition sounde
so pathetic 1t was like heart unconscious
giving utterance to itself.
She remained quiet for some time after h
voice ceased to be heard in the room At la
she rose She tried TO settle down to some wor
and she finally succeeded. That day made
mark upon her. She began to reckon things
ter mind from that day. Often when she WI
with her husband she would turn and ga
at him searchingly but furtvely. She was fea
ing to see upon his face that expression whit
she had surprised upon it in the hotel parlC
But If that look should come there she wish
to know it.