Mississippi leader. (Jackson, Miss.) 1892-1895, 1893-12-26
INCONSISTENCIES.
BY JOSH BILLINGS, JR.
Written for The Leader.

A fu hundred yeers ago the
white men whu cum tn Amerika
found the Indians using sertain
kind NV lead kalled tobakker.
When thay began tn appropriate
the things belongin tu the noble
red man, thay appropriated this
savage habbit alec. Since that
time all rases ov men and sum
wimmin hav ben chuin and smok-
in and dippin and snuffin this
Indian wead. 1t has ben ced th9t
the "pale faces acted generus
and Civ the Indians red-likker in
exchange and tawt him how tn get
drunk, and in that way made
amends, but sum hav argued that
both wuz cheeted. 1t IL alco ced
that the billy cote, sum times
kalled the William Cote fur per-
liteness sake, IL the only uther
member ov the animul kingdum
that ever takes terbakker between
hiz lips. A CRATE meny Kristian
men and sum preachers chu aud
smoke tobakker, and spend more
mummy in this way than thay do
for the relcef ov the widder and
orphan and the konvershun ov the
Hethen. The smoke ov thur Iu-
dian wead and thur prayers fur
the konvershun ov the wurld as
send tu heaven together, and sum
hav ced wun gose az high az the
uther. A grate meny Kristians
use it fur thur hclth Geo thay say
and uthers bekause thay kan t quit
without practicin a little celf de-
nial, but it looks mighty nixon
cistent to a gainsayin wurld fur
Kristians tn be THROWN away co
much mummy on a uceless, filthy
habbit. 1t IL alec settin a 5ad
example tn the boys and risin gen
erashun. 1t IL about time tn own
up and be onest with the Indian
and konfess that the hole likker
and terbakker trade from begin
min to end wuz a swindle on both
sides.
1t is very inkoncistent fur evry
wun tn talk in phavor NV temper
ancc and vote in phavor Nv whis-
ky, ur whisky party, kno mat
ter what the curkumstanses may
be, ur what the party may pha
vor besides whisky.
Az long az whisky men kan get
kristian votes thereby, thay will
put sum gud things in thur plat
forms. Thay kno that only
phools air kaught without bate,
and that meny that air not phools
air kaught with bate. Which NV
theze classes, the kristian who
votes fur a whisky party belongs
to evry wun must decide fur him
self. The genural opinion iz in
wun direkshun, however, sad tn
cay.
Hazlehurst kristians nearly awl
voted a whisky party tiket last
phawl and thereby endorsed the
sail NV whisky. But thay hav or
ganized a kommittee tn kepe sum
Nv thur bruther party men frum
ceiling whisky in thur town. Thay
voted fur the sail NV whisky and
then cay it shall not be sold in
thur town. 1t is supposed that
theze kristians meant fur it tn be
sold in uther communities than
thur own. The wurld IL knot
helped much by this kind NV kris
tianity, if eny at aul.
Sum church members air knot
attending thur church meetings
this munth. 1t iz time to cettle
with thur pastur, and times air
hard. Theze came members will
be the most industrius wuns tn cur
kulate report that thur pastur
doz knot pay hiz diets. Thur IL
CRATE deal Nv dishonesty, raskal-
ity and pure deviltry poked intu
sum professed kristians.
Kno dout the devil kan and doz
truthfully cay Nv meny church
members who vote fur a party
that phavors the sail NV whisky:
"This IL my beluved sun in whum
l am well pleesed. Heer we him. "
And whu blames hiz majesty fur
komplimenting hiz own workmenl
The devil IL koncistent. The
uther pheller is inkoncistent.
Inconsistency, thou art jewell,
the poet Gays.
Two men went up tn the poles
tn vote. The wun was profess
ed kristian; the uther a liqur eel
Ter. The professed kristian re-
conod tbnS with himeelf I hay