The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1893-03-28
BARKIS BUDGET.
He Objects to Being Thought
Old and "Ousts" an Old
Jew.
Sizes Up Conventions and Cos
sips a Little About Politics
and Other Things.
ST. LOUIS, March %, '93.

EDITOR BAZOO-Wh hen a felloV
has lived a good many wears in thi
world of ours, hold up his end il
pretty good shape and yet not bein,
50 successful in becoming a millionair
as the newspapers tell us any citizel
Of this great country ought to be, h
don't like to he reminded of it. Now
I began to make my fortune" SOM
forty odd years ago and am still a
it. l am sanguine, however, that
will get there and I'd be perfectly con
tent with my lot and confident Of my
chances, didn't hear persons talk o.
me as "old." Now, am not old, al
least / don't feel old. l am just a.
young now in heart and mind as ever
l was and quite as ready to tackle any
man or anything as ever l was.
may be slightly disfigured but I'm still
in the ring. Judge Of my Indignation
then when. one day last week l was
approached while rushing along Broad
way BY man of Hebraic cast of fea-
lures and general mien, who halted
me and said:
"Mein trendt, l would like to show
you somedinks."
"We!l. he quick about it, I'm in a
hurry"
well, mein frendt, / hat here a
hair Of sbectacles vich / foundt in de
Union depot dis morning. You see
dey are pure goldt, nit extra fine
glasses. | hat no use for dem und I'd
like To sell 'em sheap. Don'd you
want to buy EN-" And he poked at
me a pair of cheap spectacles, such as
street fakirs offer on every corner at a
price TO suit all pockets.
Get out. don't use specks, and
even if | were half blind, / can see
through YOU"
He turned away, mut,ering to him.
self. and went on, dissatis-
fled with myself that / had not
put him in condition to need the
glasses himself. An hour afterwards.
the same fellow encountered me and
tried the same trick. simply paid
no attention to him, but when later
in the day, he again waylaid me and
the twice told tale. Icaught
the circumsized dog by the throat and
shook him till his teeth chartered, then
said /:
Say, my friend. you had better
keep those specs and wear them your
self. This il the third time you have
tried your little game on me to-day"
"Fadder Abraham !! ish dot sO?"
and he shufiled off with all the speed
he could. have met him frequently
since but he has never tried to sell me
any specs.
Still, if a fellow like that con-
,idered me fair game, I'm afraid /
must look q little Old-and, | don't
like it.
HARD TO FOOL.
However, am not too old to tum-
BILE to the game now going on in local
politics. The bargain and sale be-
tween the bosses of both parties il
transparent and the trade every day
becomes more evident. The nomi-
nees what bleed most freely will be
,lected-that's the program, and it
will be carried out unless the people
wake up before April 4th. In get
ing rid of present evils, we will be-
,ome victims to those we know not of.
No GRIEF TO SPARE.
am not sorry the legislature has
adjourned. I don't believe the rural
contingent was much better than
them city fellers."
CAPTURED THE CANE.
We have had a convention in St.
-ouis the past week that took the
axe. 1t was the fourth annual meet
ng of the National Epicurean college,
IN assemblage Of the chief cooks of
he United States or. as they call
Guys " F"SVf. w Hal
hey came together for except to eat, |
rink and be merry, no one but them !
elves knows. They had had a royal
rood time and wound up with a ban /!
Iuet that must have made the shade |
# old Lucullus turn pale with grief
md envy. Those of them that sur
i've will come together again on the |
inst Monday in May. 1894. at Detroit, |
Michigan.
THE GRoCERs' MEETING.
The Southern Wholesale Grocers'
is now in session at the
-indell. There are some $50 dele
raies renresentinm fMnnir-.eyen cities