The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-19
JOHN loeELseLAAr.
Uur German Friend Goes Down to n
DarRe Offlcg.

Jur German Friend Goes Down to the
Barge Ofiice.
"Vhell, vhas widower for oafe,
Two years now, und says to my frendt
Shon Obenhnuser, in Houston sthreet--
| says to him der odder day:
'Shon. maypc | get married some
! more, eh? DO you pellet he vhas all
right?
Certainly, Mr.. vogelsbaat--cer.
sainly, und l like to gif you some
pointers. Go down py dot barge Office
vhen some Sherman emigrnnts come in
and pick You oudt wife. In dot vhay
you doan' haf to do some sparlSin
Und all der Sherman girls bring oafer
lots of money und vhas as healthy ash
beef!
| "Vhell,' dot seems sensible to me und
| | keep watch FOR some Sherman folks
When big crowd comes in puts some
srcnse on my hair, pay boy fife cents
| 20 shine my shoes oop. und vhas a
'egu!nr shim-aandy vhcn | goes me
lown by dot barge office. vhas look.
ng around when bolicemans nit a
'cd face says to me:
Hello, you feller, who you like to
see aroundt here"
OF you blease, sir, I like to find
some Sherman girl init red cheeks und
life hoonered dollar who vhill marry
Ter best man in Moo York. Vhill you
oe so llindt ash to spheak for me?'
"'Who you vhas, ch?
81 vhas Shon Vogelsblnat, if you
please, und make somepody kind hus-
oands.
"'Vhell, l see aboudt him. You
shtand oafer dere und shall go in und
shpeak init some young und tender
natchen und pring her oudt Maybe
ion Will name dot first shild after me,
,h?'
'"Of you blease, mister bolicemans, /
lamc all der shildrens otter you, und
bless you forever
"Vhell. he goes in, und by und by he
comes oudt again init vomans who
vhas zeeXty years oldt. She vhas all
oent oafer und almost blind, und she
naf to wall, nit cane.
Here she vhas, my poy,' he calls
to me. She vhas very young und
tender, nnd you must be kind to her.
She vhas no girl. Do YOU pellet
vlas fool?'
"'No girl! Why. you Dutchmans, YOU.
Vhas you blind? She vhas only 1e
years oldt!'
"'She vhas hoonered, sir, und she
vhas not Sherman, either
'Humph! vhell, you must be some
idiots OF course she vhas Sherman.
Shpeak to her in der Sherman Ian.
guage.'
eyes, me bye! Sphake to me in
the lingo. was waitin' fer YOU these
two days, me darlint.'
"'Take her, Mr.. Vogelsblaat-take
her und be some happiness said dot
bolicemans.
'Nefer!'
"'Vhat! You make me all dis troubles
for nothings! You lie to me about how
you like to git married to some nice
Sherman girl. Take dot
''Und he gifts me der club more ash
fife times, und dot oldt vhomans kicks |
me twice, und / vhas run in like tief |
When l goes pefore der shudge he looks
at me und says:
My frendt, if fanypody fools aroundt
like dot he vhas some badt mans und
must be bunished.'
"'But, shudge, I doan' like no wife
seeXty years oldt.'
"'Dot makes no deeference, Mr.. Vo.
gelsblaat. Dis vhas free country, YOU
know. Dot oldt vhomans vhas entitled |
to husband shust as monch as der
young girls, und l hat to find YOU
guilty und make you bay four dollars
"und when seetlc oop dot fine und
goes oudt on der sthreet who you pellet
vhas dere? Why, dot oldt vhomans nit
her cane. und she calls to me-
'Faix, und maype you like to thrifle
7id a tender young gals affections
again. Good for der shudge, und if I
Wasn't SO young uud bashful I'd be
afther maxim you dance to the swate
md gentle music of shillaleh playin'
about your legs. '"-Detroit Free Press.