Evening journal., 1893-08-31
IAN lRREsPoNsIRLE RARrY.

We don't know where the New
Century Club girl has been She my
have been playing summer girl, or writ
ing for the ScaveDgei till nausiated. But
she is here again to smuse and enlightei
the town with romance and philosophy
She is directing her attention to the
Need of a Transfer Agent, having be
gun the crusade with the following
peculiar, If not pellucld propo. ition,
saying;
The apparent ease and facility with
which William Sandurs, the colored'
post Office thief, who is only a STRIPPING
OF 10, managed without suspicion from
anyone, TO steal big mail pouch con
tanning valuables Of over 800. OO0 from al
railroad station, has attracted the at
tention Of the community.
The easy facility Of that proposition is
obvious William being "colored
post Office thief" by profession thou b
only stripping of 49, degrees Fahren
heit or Delaware avenue, and having
stolen mail pouch containing SEQ, 900
from railway station" without sus
picion from anybody" has naturally
attracted the attention Of the com.
munity."
That proposition, though complex at
superficial observation, becomes as clear
as mud from the Man About Town"
pitchfork, after undue intimacy.
It means that William sandurs 1--WE
doubt the ortlography. but that is Of
little Importance to history or romance)
a colored boy who stole a mail pouch
containing $4,000 worth of valuables,
checks, likely, is a thief-a colored
young, slender, graceful and dextrous
thief, who never steals when he would
excite suspicion or when anybody is
watching
or course, to put all Of those delicate
touches Of character painting into one
sentence requires skill and commas. But
when the community once comprehend
proposition like that, which would
make Euclid smile at the ease OF the
''pons asinorem" in comparison, they will
admit the sklll and admire the commas
They are ready, as the author declares.
to make: "The comment Is that In the
matter Of transfers from post Office mes
senger to the railroad authorities. and
especially from the latter to the railway
mail, there should be some definite
local authority in charge"
Not being thoroughly acquainted with
Postmaster Stewards technical vocabu-
larry, we do not know what definite
local authority" is It may mean lame
negro, spawned horse and disgraced
delivery wagon, all Of which have seen
better days; or, It may be simply col
ored man with a talent for voting the
Republican ticket in the Fifth and
Seventh wards as many times as he can
change hats, coats and names. How.
ever that may be, the recommendation
must be all right because it is delivered
with the solemnity OF Bill Nye wit.
Following that oracular advice is a
general historical sketch relating to a
great many things, usually left to
providence, in which the curious declar
tion is made that: "The transfer clerk
never leaves the station He is a
permanent official That is why. per
haps he is called transfer clerk.
though the author thinking apparently
Of the garbage" readers Of the sun
day Dump does not deem it expedient
to explain He travels along slowly
at writing, Every Evening gait
70 say:
Here Is seen the necessity of local
agent for the mails, at least at the p
w. a B r r IL was through an in
oident of this nature, although in this
case it happened st the b a o sta
ton, that an important nail pouch was
stolen by an entirely irresponsible party.
That conclusion cannot be denied
Il is immateriM whether the hasty.
superficial reader admits, or even re-
members, the premises or not
That goes IL is undeniable, incon
trovertable, irreproaohable- mail
pouch was stolen by an entirely ire
sPonsible party" And don't you for.
get it.
The proof is that he did not return
it, as any responsible party" should
have DONE after elieiting anything
which tickled his fancy, or encouraged
his ambition. He was not a Christian
thief He was an irresponsible party. p
j