The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1893-01-20
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

HUmOk OF TIE DAY.
A curling iron-Thc corkscrew.
PlaiH sailing The route of the prairie
vchosher.-Puck.
The man rowing boat is always back.
ward IN coming forward.
kissing goes by favor, but 1t often
comes by stealth.
WRmay not like pawnbrokers, but we
have oput up with them. Truth
Travelling dresses are now made with
yestibule trains. berkshire Courier.
What The college freshman doesrt
know. he talks about. Gaystta.
- Woman's face may be poem; but
the is always careful to conceal the lines
In It.
The man who fails in attaining other
perfections can easily make { perfect
tool of himself.
The man who didn't fuliIl the promise
OF his youth claimed that tae notes OF
minors were not binding.
- The only man on earth who thinks
twice before he SPEAKS once is tho man
s.a..sss.-- attoilison Giobe.
ieaAll women are "beautiful" in the
!. newspapers until il comes to the print.
mug Of their photcgrsphs.zPuck.
The Indians started for a whooa,
But soon their facss fell.
some students. they, who passed. that way,
And they gave college yell.
t Washington Star.
t Take your hard luck as you would
pill. If you grind your teeth over it,
you will find 1t nastier than ever.
Puck.
The man who objected to hiding his
light under "a bushel succeeded in dis
playing his darkness to tho whole world.
truth.
"The football game broke up In a
fight, didn't ita" "Yes. Il was the
tamest affair ever saw. Indianapolis
journal.
y sits little weigh of miue," re-
marked clerk in Main street grocery
as he gave his customer fourteen ounces
for the pound. Buffalo Quips.
81 understand that all you bagged on
your hunting trip was pair of trousers" !"
"WelI, they were Iuc1 trousers, any.
egay.--Indianapolis Journal.
al 1,sSstyou would not take advantage
~ the reIatiS pship seemingly implied In
your name Ia h. SO familiar, said tho
hen to the hatchss. Washington Star.
{ The boy stood ON the ,s,,rning deok--
But who could blame I'm, pleasa
The price of coal had gone 81 high
Itwas either this or fresz,.\
Chicago Interss cean'
I The making of joke is good< deal
like the making of salad. We thkRk
we have struck good thing, although
1t may only agree with our own personal
taste. Puck.
"How do look" said the turkey as
he expanded his gorgeous array of
feathers. "Fit to kill, replied the sar.
donio old rooster who is 50 tough that
he can't be en- Washington Star.
& ssWhy didn't you keep the horse, Ber.
tie, deah boyan Bertie-"The how'd
creature had the impudenco to tell me
that the horse was bwoken, and ! sent
him back for whole one."--Inter.
Ocean.
Z Friend--SI suppose your wife often
Durus the midnighs ol!F "fos,
guess she does now and then; but yos
must remember that she hasn't hsi
much experience In cooking yet."--In.
teri Ocean.
Wife Charley, dear, these are
graham gems that made all alone.
Now tell me what you think Of them"
Charley--ssAny one who tried to eat
them could tell they were precious
stones. "--Chicago Inter. Ocean.
Papa eat reading his evening paper
when Tommy came up and leaned on
his knee. ssPa, I" said Tommy, emay I
ask you question:" ssCertainly, my
b0y.N serhen tell me, pa, where the
wind Is when it doesn't blow. .n--Hart
k1nnd Journal. 3