The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-03-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1t is not mans sins that find him cut;
It's his eighbor.-Atchison Globe.
The great part of self-willed mans
estate usually goes to the lawyers. Troy
Press.
Every day man hears a dozen things
be ought to do that he can't do.--Atchi-
son Globe.
"Do you believe in fate, Pat3" "sure
and phwat would we stand on widout
em9"-Siftings.
Whatever may be said of a sweetheart
she can't be too good to be true. Phil
adelphia Times.
There Is no help for the case of the
woman who can't get a servant.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Teacher-"What is hero" Tommy
1.-THE man who marries heroine. -
indianapolis Journal.
The cynic is the man who knows the
price of everything and the value of
nothing. The Fun.
Women are not cruel to dumb animals.
No woman will wilfullY step on mouse.
Richmond Recorder.
1t appears to be the business of the
needy tramp to go around looking for
uccors.-Binghamton Leader.
"Do you think this tooth will stand
flling2" PatIent-"Well, Pm sure it
has plenty of nerve. Inter Ocean.
The man who thaws out dynamite is
being heard from. There is generally
but one report.-Baltimore American.
The Keg-"Your headpiece is posi-
lively ugly" The Barrel (prouHy)-
"AIaybe, but I wear hoops. Chicago
News.
Time is generally represented as carry
ing scythe. This will probably be kept
up till it is no mower.-Philadelphia
Times.
"There's another unconscious humor-
istl" gleetully remarked the footpad as
he sandbagged the punster Washing
ton Star.
"There's time to work and time to
play" but to the hand-organ grinder
both times come at once. Rochester
Democrat.
essay, Chimmie," said the boy who
had white pink, ode blokie dat named
dis flower must ov bin color blind."-
Washington Star.
That the cynic is an extreme type Of
humanity is indicated by the fact that
he is always very old or very young
Washington Star.
al feel better about lckin' this postage
stamp" saId the boy who had been seat
to mail letter. ats nearer my size"
Washington Star.
'Yes," said the man who had just
fallen down three flights OF stairs, "I've
been on quite an extended trip. Kate
Fields Washington.
Dullpate-''I find it very hard work
TO collect my thoughts Maud-"Papa
says it's always difficult to recover small
amounts. Inter Ocean.
Mudge-"Thompson called me an
IDIOT" Yabsley-'You needn't mind
that. Thompson always does exaggerate
more OF less. Tit Bits.
What mals the bicycle popular with
many, rich or poor, is that, after trying
to ride one, they feel that they are better
OIL. n.-Phladelphla llmes'
Artist-"How do you like the por-
trait made of your Cranky Subject
-'Well, the coat is too tight under the
arms. New York journal.
The words of mans mouth tell no
more of the meditations of his heart than
the voice of dinner bell tells of the
quality of the dinner.-Puck.
"When it comes to revenue cutters"
said old Bullion, shipping OIL another
coupon, "there's nothing like a good
pair of shears. Chicago Tribune.
A difference between knife blade
losing is temper and a woman is that
the former becomes duller and the latter
more cutting.-Philadelphia Times.
When smiles the glad millennium
Upon this mighty nation
An Office will be found for each
In the whole population.
Washington Star.
Alta Party: Suitor-"Mein Fraulein,
l love you" Rich Young Lady point
ing with her fan TO her father)-"Ex-
cuse me, yonder is my business manager"
Wiener Luft.
Mr.. Horton-''What on earth did you
want of this expensive fire screen"
Mrs. Horton-"To keep callers from dis.
covering that We hadn't any ire. Chi
cagO lnter-Ocean.