The record-union., 1893-12-12

Mickey ralS6Q MS eyes from an 6ulIIO0
de luxe in yellow cover of ''Snake-eyed
Bob; or, the Bully of the Woods" and
replied:
IT'S all about a NAHUM of exchange"
Then he buried his nose in the book again
and began to read how Snake-eyed Bob,
armed with muzzle- loading rifle, six
feet long, and assisted by his faithful yell
low dog, Terror, had wiped out whole
tribe of Apaches and made suit of
clothes out of their scalps.
NAHUM !" exclaimed Mr.. Finn in a
rage. "Begorra, ye little divvil, if ye
think bekase ye have eddication that ye
can fool yer father wild yer Frinch, ye're
much mistaken. Now tell me what the
silver bill means, or Pll wack yer head
wild the stove plate, so l will, and small
blame to me if l do it, aither. BY my
sowkins, l have seen wan dollar and two
dollar bills, but TlI swalIy crowbar if l
ever saw q silver bill"
'Faix, you never will see wan, father, ;"
said Mickey, with a laugh. There's
only wan man that iver had silver bill.
He's name is Sinator Sherman. He's
wan o. thin chaps that gets ped ten thou
sand dollars a year for ballyraggin' in
Congress. He passed a silver bill in
Washington, and now they say twas no
good and want him to take it back again,
and he swears he will not beKase it's a
good bill, dye see, and that's the how OF
it, father"
Il see, I see,' said Mr.. Finn, APPROX
ingly. but tell me this, Mickey. was it
a tin-dollar bill or a ffty-dollar bill, or
how much was it?'
Mickey scratched his head thought
fully. He had bitten of more than he
cOuId chew, but like many boy OF older
growth he did not like to confess his ig
norance. So at haphazard, he said:
Il dunno surely, but L m ahtter think
in twas for fifty million dollars and
tWinty cints."
'Howly murther, Mickey, but that
must be big bill intirely-as big as a
newspaper" exclaimed Mr.. Finn exciJ-
edly.
''Yis, and bigger" said Mickey. now
feeling the ground under his feet again.
"'Twas mighty big and covered with big
words like bimetallism and demonitizR-
ton and regeneration and words like thar
awful hard words TO spell and the divvl
himself not KNOWN what they name"
'Wirra, wirra, look at that nOw," said
Mr.. Finn. But don't that bate common
sinse? by mitallism, is it? Oh, the blag-
gardsi My heavy hand on thin, the
omadhauns! oh, hop
These objurgations and Celtic anathe-
mas seemed to afford MIR. Finn great
mental relief as he scraped glowing
coal from the stove and Ignited his pipe
with it.
''By the hairs of Molly Kelly's cat"
resumed Mr.. Finn, after five minutes of
deep cogitatiOn, ''but that's Quare, SO It's,
mighty quare. And tell me, Mickey, me
by, who did Sinator Sherman pass his
silver bill on?"
''Shure, he passed it on Tom Murray,
as keeps liquor store in the Capitol
caffay for rum. Ye see, he wanted to
spind the tWinty cints and have the fifty
millions left-even money, dye see ?"
''Yis, yis, [ see," said Mr.. Finn, impa-
tiently, land what happened thin ?'
''Well, the SinatOr got his gin, and
swallayed it, and wished himself luck,
and wiped his mouth with the back of MS
hand, and ped for the gin with the silver
bill and put the $50, 600, 900 change in gold
in his two pants pockets and walked
away as dacint as ye plaZe, wild gin on his
breath and Terra del FuegO cigar in his
mouth. Y e see, he mad the best OF Muir
which would buy beer and cigars in LODI
don or Dublin or Ponckhockie, dye
mind"
"But what did Tom do with the big sill
Yer bill when he had It?" asked Mr..
Finn, anxiously.
He started out to blow it in like a gen.
tleman. The first place he KEN to was
John Chamberlain's, the man as makes
the finest cocktails in the world Muir
ray called up every man in the bar-room.
They were all standin' around, waitin'
for angels, and whin Murray asked thin
what they would have, ould man Voor-
hees and Villas and Aldrich and daddy
buck Higgins, and Sherman and Hill an
more Of thin KEN up to the bar and
= = e-,slI ,1A IL
lege bis on a hurrah, 'GP me a cloture
cocktail,' like that, dye mind. Then
Murray says: Fill 'em up again, Cham
berlain.' Whin they had the sicond
cocktail down their red neckS Murray
threw down the silver bill on the cOun-
ter. dignaciOus as ye plaze, and says
'Gi'me me change Chamberlain looked
jumped up and down wild rage, and
shouted: Bad luck to ye, Tom Murray,
where did ye get that bill?'
L got 1t from Slnator Sherman says
Tom. Why? What's the matter wild it?'
Faith. it's no good said Cham ber-
lain. It's bimetallism bill and l won't
take it.
Thin all the Sinators gathered around
Tom, as mad as hornets, and said twas
outrageous for him, a dacint man, TO be
tryin' to pass such al awful bill. So Tom
got freckened and wint around to Viii
lard's and the Arlington. Beggorra, he
couldn't pass it anywhere IN Washington,
so what-does he do but he wint to New
York, and they wouldn't have it in the
ST. James or the Holman House, and he
couldn't buy any wo0dcOck, in sayson or
out of sayson, at Delmonico's wild it.
Thare was Tom in great fix, wild lots Of
money in his pocket and twas no good
to him.
Poor man. he was in bad way" NUT
tered Mr.. Finn, alphabetically.
He was that" continued little Mike.
"But what med 1t worse was that the
brokers in Wall street heard how Tom
was stuck wild the bill, and they raised
ballyhooly wild ould Sherman for stickin'
him it."
More power to him." interjected Mr..
Finn, land SO they ought"
''Yis, and they raised sich ructions that
all the wise men in America met in
Washington and kicked like steers 10
make Sherman take back the bill.
other. Wan ould guy stood on his feet
all day and all night and part Of the MKT
day, calm Sherman names and goin'
widout his grub and drink and shmoke.
They have new song, Take Back the
Bill Thou Gavest,' in Washington. They
have blmetalism sours, de-mon-i-ti-Za-
ton tiZzes and cloture cocktails
Dye think they Will make Sherman
take back his bill?" asked Mr.. Finn.
i dunno, surely" answered Mickey.
But Murray says il he don't get his good
money back soon, he'll take the value OF
it out of Sherman's hide"
"Millia murther, bat that's a mighty
Quare state OF things, amt it, Mickey ~
said Mr.. Finn, with an air of profound
conviction.
Deed it is, father" replied the boy,
shaking his head gIoomily '.But the
only thing to be done is fur ye that have
votes to turn the blaggards out and put
men in their places as'll pass gold bills"
..Thrue for We. Mickey. YOU'RE right.n