The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-09-26
HIS TWO GRANDFATHERs.
Napoleon Primer Tells Bill Nye all About
Them--one is 81 and the Other 90
Years Old-Some Incidents OF
the Old Age of Methuse-
lab Recalled

o AS4NCS GolA A4J AO4SADOA
Napoleon Primer the other day to me,
as we were waiting for the board Of
equalization to cut down the valuation
on our property.
Some people can go through the
wars and never weaken, but they are
no good at managing old people. I
think that if we keep in mind that we
will need something some day to be
patient with US we will 0 o learn to
be patient with others.
Eyes, that's true. Did you ever
think what a trial Methueelah must
have been to his famiIy9"
eyes, but Methuselah retained all of
his faculties up to his eight hundredth
year. He could read fine print, you
remember, up to 786 years of age, and
then he began to imagine that smoking
was hurting his eyesight, SO he quit for
80 years, but it did not help any, and
he went back to it, they say-only
worse, to make up for lost time.
But the last 80 or 80 years of Me-
thuselah's life he got so that he used to
repeat himself a good deal. Even
Enoch was tried with him, and when
one of Methuselah's grandchildren
some of them 200 years old-used to
wake up with the Group in the night,
the old man, forgetting that he used to
have it when he was their age, would
humble to himself and gnash his teeth
for hours, after which he would put
them back in the bureau and go to
sleep again.
But what started me off on the sub
ject Of old people was my wife's grand
father. He lives with us. He is 80
years old today, and we are going to
give him birthday cake. I have just
bought eight dozen wax candles to put
on it.
MY grandfather lives with us also.
He is eighty seven years old in Novem-
Der. Both of the old gentlemen live
with US, having no other relatives they
can get along with. My grandfather
came to live with me when my wife
and I went to keeping house, and two
years after that my wife's grandmother
died and the old man came to our
house.
'It has been a rather ticklish bust
ness to manage the two, for my grand
father has an ungovernable temper,
and for a moment or two some times
you'd think he might a~ssassinate one,
but nee or twice a year is as often as
he has an outbreak like that.
My grandfather's name is Perad-
venture Primer, an old Bible name
selected from the begat column Of the
good book l reckon. Ny wife's grand
fathers name is Mortimer Dowd. They
call each other Peradventure and Nor
timer when they are calm. but if any
thing goes wrong they call each other
Primer and Dowd.
81 was afraid that my grandfather
might get one of his little spells of 5em-
per, and drive my wife's grandfather
into the earth with a club, for DOwd is
the gentlest man you ever saw. So
one day I told Mortimer that Perad-
venture was the kind Of a man that had
to be sat down on the moment he
showed any signs of temper, and if he
had the nerve to slut him up once for
all he would have no trouble, but | was
afraid h9 did not have the necessary
courage. However, I told him that he
was 80 much older than Peradventure
he must bake a firm hand with him at
the start.
81 used to have them do the chores
to keep them out Of mischief. Nor
timer had to milk and feed the chick
ems, and Peradventure cut the kindling
and carried in the wood.
zone day they had been down town
together, and Mortimer had bought a
soDg-book with the money I gave him.
It had the words of an old song set to
the tune of 'Wellington's Farewell
Peradventure had bought horehound
candy with his money and had hidden
a part Of it in the woodshed, where [
found it and took it away because 1
was afraid he would be sick eating
candy along with the root beer he had
been drinking.
He discovered that it was gone at
about dusk while he and Mortimer
were in the woodshed together. Nor
timer is as lovely a character as ever
lived. He has fine, soft, silky white
hair and a skin like an undressed kid.
When the two are asleep at night to-
gether, and I go in at eleven o'clock to
see if they are covered up all right, I
can't helm cnmnarinr them for Perad-