davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
and PROGRESS.
iMaEMUGTIwE AND INTERESTING
READING FOR ALL
Curious Ts1ventions--TraVe OF a
Star--AutomatIc Delivery Of
Letters--Ph0tos Sent by
WIra--Rain Making q
\ Failure
rIotra l1vantIona.

The history and growth of inven-
tions are the subjects in which we are
interested.
The stylograph pen brought in s40,-
900 a year; the Indian rubber tips to
pencils eco, 900; metal plates for pro-
tecting the soles and heels OF boots
brought in f25O, 900 in all; tho roller
skates 92oO, 1000.
Aclergyman realized $4O0 a week
by the invention OF a toy; another
toy, the return ball, brought in an in
come. of 10000; the Dancing Jim
Crow" EI5,OOO. The inventor of a
copper cap for children's boots was
able to leave his heirs 44OO, 900; while
Singer, of sewing machine fame, left at
his death nearly So, ,ooO,0O
There are other and wonderful
things which people have thought it
worth while to patent, strong in the
hope of making big fortune in the
near future, only to find in SO many
cases that their inventions were i'm
practicable and very often perfectly
ridiculous.
Among such may be mentioned
child 8 bib with g. trough attached, the
whole formed of some waterproof
material; pocket which cannot be
picked; muff and boa filled with air
TO save you from watery grave; cuffs
and collars made of steel. painted and
enameled white; trousers with double
legs-on the outer legs getting soiled
or bespattered you tuck them up, and
behold a clean pair. This arrange
ment would be suitable. / should say,
when worn with an overcoat.
Under the head OF umbrellas and
walking-sticks we find some marvel
Gus inventions. One is an umbrella
which in some wonderful way is con-
verted into a walking stick, and so
formed that q spear can be attached,
when it is used as weapon OF oftense
and defense. / recommend it to elder
ly ladies in the dog days, as a pro-
lection against the sun and mad
dogs The next invention is q rain
absorber, to prevent rain from run
ming down from hats and umbrel-
las.
The absorber is formed either OF un-
covered sponges or covered
sponges by fabric. We are
told that the absorber can be
readily removed from the article
which the inventor has named, take a
long breath and shut your eyes, the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS." This is an
umbrella which can be taken apart;
the silk and ribs being hidden within
the stick; it is thus transformed into q
stout walking-stIck.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Rain MakInra Failure.


The latest contribution to the rain
making controversy comes from Pro-
fessor Curtis, meteorologist in charge
of the experiments. In a communica-
ton from that gentleman, just pub
lished, he affirms in the most unequiv-
ocal manner that so far as the pro-
duction of showers by means ofexplo-
sions, either on the ground or in the
upper air, il concerned, the expert
ments have been an utter failure.
Showers were in some instances OBJ
tanned, though by no means to the ex-
tent described in the telegraphic re-
ports, the torrents" Of the imagins-
tive reporters being in many instances
mere drizzles. But even these were
foretold by the Meteorological Depart
ment, and wers due to natural causes,
and mot in any appreciabls degrees to
tho dynamite. and explosive balloons.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23

brslla she eat round hole as bio q s
half-doilar. f. didn't hurt the useful
ness of the article the least bit in the
world, but it did impair the desirabfl-
ity OF it sufficiently to keep the other.
members Of the family from carrying
it of, or from the mistakes of the
casual person in the shops. This in
genuity excited much curiosity. but
Che young woman found it so effective
that she carried the umbrellG until
little was left but the hole.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
The Metric System,

Several British Consuls have recent
ly warned their countrymen they were
losing considerable trade in foreign
countries owing to their persistent
use of English weights and measures
in their circulars and pricelists, which
were frequently unintelligible to most
Of the foreign dealers, whereas their
French, German and other competi-
tors used the metric system, which
was familiar to everybody, and natur-
ally attracted custom. These warn
inss apply equally well TO the export
srs Of the United States. The uss Of
the metric or decimal SYSTEM was
eatherised by our laws many years
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
How She Kept Her Umbrella

A young woman who had half
dozen times either misslaid or been
robbed of her best umbrella, finally
concluded to try an original way OF
identifying herself with the silken
shield against the weather She had e
new one made and mounted on all
ivory topped stick. Then she had the
heavy piece of ivory carved into an
excellent counterpart OF her own head
and face
No one looking at the bit of ivory
work for an instant could mistake
the likeness bet ween the owner and
the head on the handle. Her friends
predicted that the beauty of the
handle would only add to the induce
ment to steal-for the head and
face were exceedingly beautiful, and
the shrewd young woman knew per-
fectly well that they were, when she
ordered it. But the strange part of
It was that it didn't. For six years
the owner has carried that umbrella,
through, rain or shine. having a new
cover put on when necessary, and
only once has she missed it. That
time she left it standing in shop, and
bcfore she had made the rounds OF
the place polite Eoor-walker had re-
Aurned it to her with o smile.
II can keep my umbrella just az
-&piI as that and not have it cost me
ali as much either." said her best
triend when she saw the new umbrella.
II can be Ingenious too, and Pm not
roud." So just inside hsg new mm-
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
OUR BUDGET o. UlIOB
VARIOUS cOMIcALETIRs or RE-
GENT PRODUCTION
Curious and LauEhabis Phases or
kife--Quoer Sayings and Side
Splitting Incidents.
Didn't Know Maggie.

A very naughty, reserved-looking
and elegantly-clad lady sat in one of
the middle seats of Western rail-
road train, with her elegant belong
ings beside her.
At PetervilIe a long, sallow, hatchet-
faced woman in a green aud black
calico dress founced to the waist and
yellow sunbonnet lined with pink,
boarded the train, marched down the
aisle past several empty seats and
pumped herself down By the side of
the "blue-blood" lady. carelessly
sweeping that lady's belongings aside
and saying calmly:
"I guess I'll set here so as to nave
company. Coin fer"
ITO Denver"
"You air? Where you from?"
"BoRton."
"Boston! We'll, ! do declare! was
born in Yarmouth myself, but | ant
never been back since left there, 80
year ago the third day ofnext month.
So ye air clean from Boston?
II am" icily.
."Lived there long,"
"AH5of my life. )"
"Is that so? Borned there?"
"Yes."
"Well, do declare! Now, 1 amt a
mite O. doubt but you've some time
or other bumped agin n own niece I've
got livin' out i'll Boston. Mebbe yer
well 'ouainted with her Her names
Maggie Smith, and she's my sister
Sary's youngest. i ant never seen
her, but I've got PHOTOGRAPH OF her
and tell you she ant behind no one
when it comes to putin on style. An
l tell you she's smart. As smart as
ever they make 'em.
She's got on a big gold chain and
six rings in the PHOTOGRAPH, and silk
dress, and she's just style itself L
reckon like as not you know her.
She's lived there five years, Names
Maggie Smith. Know>her?"
81 do not. Uedan'
well, I'll tell you what you do.
When you go back jes hunt Mag up
and tell her you met her Aunt jimmy
Sipes on the train, and you'll be all
right with Mag after that, for she
LHihAS u ASdp Vi me- SSIIO } Ou JGoS S6J
Jimmy Sipes' to Mag and she'll neigh
bor with you from that time on.
Lsmme see; what street do you live on
in Boston?"
Beacon street, ,"-proudly.
"Well, Mag waits on the table in a
re4taurant down on the wharf. III
you've eat there many time and
seen Mag and never knowed her.
Now, next time you go in there to eat
you ask for Mag Smith and say you're
a friend of her Aunt jimmy and MaR'll
hug you right there-you see if she
don't"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
How Shall a Woman Speak OF
Her Husband.

In speaking other husband g. woman
never makes a mistake if she calls him
'Mr" or "my husband" 1t is some
times difficult to decide when the
husband has title just what the wife
should do with it. This is the sever
est rule. In speaking of her husband
she should not say General A." or
Doctor b." but ''AIr A." "Mr. B."
No matter what he is-iudge, Govern
er, captain-to her he is and should be
plain "Mr. A" Mrs. Grant never even
when her husband was President spoke
of him as other than Mr.. Grant,
though it is the custom of the Presi-
dents wife to speak of him as 1.-The
President.
The one exception to this rule of
ignoring her husbands official or pro-
fessional titles is when the wife pre-
sents him to any one else. Then she
says, "my husband, Senator Smith, !"
or simply, "Dr. Jones'" The reason
for this is evident. 1t gives the proper
clue to the stranger, who would wish,
of course, to address the new ac-
quaintance with the proper title.
Last of all, let any wife take heed
how she wears her husbands title and
allows herself to be spoken of as "Mrs.
Governor Jones'" or Mrs. Secretary
Smith" No matter what title her
husband has, she has no more right
to wear it than she has to weSr his
shoes. <<7e-. Z y<s<,-@ =
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
A Distinction with a Difference.

John B. Furay was once a postof
fee inspector, and on one occasion was
sent down into Louisiana to take
charge OF an Office from which the
postmaster had decaInped. A fight
arose over the position, says the
Omaha World, during the progress OF
which Maj. Furay remained acting
postmaster in the quagmires ofLouis-
lana, devoting all his spare time to
shaking with the orthodox ague, and
the longer the man stayed the more
he shook, and the more profane he
waxed. He had been there three
weeks or more when one morning,
while the fogwas arising II ON around
the little postofice, Inspector Furay
sat astride a keg of buttermilk read
ing "Pilgrim's Progress" A tall, lean
genus homo ofthe swafnp entered. 'Sef.
A solitary suspenler band held up a
pair OF blue jean pants, a white felt
hat Of. doubtful age rested on the
mans head, and his feet were incased
in a pair of cowhides Redeemed by age.
"Howdy, pard," said the stranger,
addressing the inspector, "be you the
tederaPs agent?"
81 am the postoffice Inspector" re-
piled Maj. Furay without looking up,
as he waded into Paradise Regain
ed"
II am the new postmaster, said
the stranger, rendering his commits
sion.
well, I'll be d-d!" was the only
reply as the inspector dropped his
book to the ground and gazed at his
visitor.
Eyes, SIR" continued the stranger,
squirting a mouthful of tobacco juice
on the inspectors new trousers. Eyes,
sir, and I've come to be qualified"
Rising to his feet Furay sighed, in
spected his visitor from head to loot,
and exclaimed;
MY friend, am but human. can
only swear you in. All HI couldn't
qualify YOU"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
The "LIon" and oIraffe.

The servant came to announce to
Victor Hugo the arrival of visitors,
viz, Lord San English peer, &C.
companied by his wife and three
daughters. Victor Hugo stepped into
the drawing-room and inquired the
object of a visit which did him honor.
Lord S-then turned to his wife and
said
"Mr. Victor Hugo, great poetp
Victor Hugo bowed in silence.
Lord S-then tnrned to his daueh-
Victor Hugo! Notrs Dame de
PariSi"
Victor Hugo again bowed his 60
knoWledssment.
''victor Hugo. GRsat poetl Notre
Dame .Ae PAxial" Lerd &NFoE sa4GH
with enthusiasm. Ho then opened
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Buying Meat for Two.

Almost all young housekeepsrs find
1t hard to make economical and salts
factory purchases Of meat and fish,
writes Maria Parloa in her depart
ment in the January Ladies Home
Journal They should understand at
! the outset that it is impossible to save
In the same proportion as one who
buys for a large family. Another
point: it is wiser to get only the parts
and the amount actually wanted than
TO buy large pieces simply because
they are cheaper by the pound. A
roast, particularly of beef, can be in
dulged III only on rare occasions. when
the family is small.
Broiling meats is the most expen-
sive of all methods of cooking, but, to
my mind, the most healthfui. When
q housekeeper really can afford to fol-
low it she should do So But in time
: one tires of even the most delicious
broiled meats and fish. When plan
ming to roast or broil a piece of meat,
its adaptability to being made over
into various little dishes should be
considered. Pork is the least desir-
able of the fresh meats for these pur-
poses. For warming over in various
ways the following named meats are
the most valuable: poultry, veal,
lamb, mutton and beet The white
meats are better than the red for this
purpose. This is also true of fish, the
white, dry varieties being much better
for made-over dishes than the dark,
oily kinds. Here is something that
one Can buy in a small quantity and
use to advantage: A short porterhouse
steak will answer for two dinners. Cut
out the tenderloin, broil it and serve
with o good sauce. If the weather be
cold the remainder OF the steak can be
used two days later. In hot weather
it must be cooked for dinner the fol
lowing daY
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Wall papers and HansIngs.

There should be no striking contrast
between carpet, wall paper and hang
ings. They should be rather quiet in
tone, ressrving bright eolors ior the
SIN aller pieces-table covers, lambre-
quins, cushions, picture scarfs. ect.
eoru and the various tints of olive are
good colore for the grounds ofcarpets,
frightened by arabesque designs in
old rose, old blue, pale yellow, shrimp
pink, dull gold or light red. Avoid
floral patterns which are conspicuous
and harmonize with nothing. Many
people like plain carpet, with q fig
ured border; but whatever is chosen
for the center, the border should be
dark and richer in tone, while the
hangngs and wall paper should COM
plste the color scheme OF the room.
Several bright colors may he used
IN a room, il not allowed to touch
each other; for the various hues will
melt into one harmonious whole, if
separated by neutral tints. Rich gold
en- browns and blues, bright yellow,
so suggestive of the warm sunshine.
and the CHEEKY shades of red-colOrs
which are not seen to any extent in
summer furnishings-are especially
welcome during the winter months. A
red rug in front OF an open fire gives a
delightful glow to the room, while in
summer the effect would be unbeara-
bly, warm. A yellow silk curtain
across an open bookcase, or a piece
of ruby-colored plush behind a hang
ing cabinet for bric-a-brac, also give
cherry touches to a room.-Good
Housekeeping.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
WOMAN AND HER REALM.
lMArTERs OF INTEREST TO THE
GENTLER SEX.
0owne for the Holidays Buying
Meat for Two How She Kept
An UmbreiIz--Hov Shall
aWoman Speak OF Her
.asband.
Gowns for the Holidays

Gatin striped moires are fashionable
fabrics for gowns to be worn at coun-
try house parties during the holidays,
and IN town also For the afternoon
and for family dinners black moires
are chosen with bright satin stripes of
one color (red. yellow or green quite
far apart, or else with closer double
stripes OF three or four light colors,
pale yellow. mauve. turquoise, and
the faintest rose shade. White lace
and sable together are the novel trim
naines for some of these gowns, while
others have colored chiffon with vel
vet and jet for their garniture. The
simplicity with which such dresses arc
made is in striking contrast to the
richness of the fabrics OF which they
are composed. They have a round
belted waist, large sleeves, and demi-
trained bell skirt. The front of the
waist has q deep fall of white lace. or
else q Ruipure plastron. edged with
brown fur, or tho moire is turned back
in revers from q full chemisette of
ehiffron of the color prevailing in the
stripes The sleeves are large land
long. and the belt is of fur, or else of
Mside ribbon tied to fall low at the
hack. The bell skirt has a twisted
puff of velvet and fur at the foot, or
some gathered velvet frills, or else one
or two very narrow borders of fur.
For Christmas dances and New
Years balls are gowns OF white MORE
striped with green, gold. blue, or pink,
or else the moire ground Is OF a pale
tint striped with black or white, while
still other moires are of two change
able shades, as pale pink and green,
or yellow with mauve. A gown Of
white MORE with blue stripes has it's
peasant bodice edged with gold trim
ming and black velvet ribbon, and the
bell skirt is similarly finished White
chiffon is gathered tull above the bod
ice, and the sleeves are high puffs of
chiffon. Other ball gowns have the
low corsage and front of striped MORE
with a demi-train Of tulle the color of
the stripe in one or more layers over
satin. This is lovely in white and
Nile green moire with green tulle demi-
train, the waist having a corselet of
MORE filled out with spangled tulle.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Not the Same Party.

The Rev. Whangdoode Baxter has
the most hourishing Sunday -ahool
in Austin. He asked one Of the pu.
pills:
"Who is dat mysterious bein' from
wlom muffin am hid, who sees and
knows ebery ding what hsppensl 4
axsd yer dot queshun last sunday,
and now wants de answer" I;
II knows hit, My fodder told me
de right answer" said ono boy. !
"Well. den, who dees yer toddAe
say am dat mysterious bsin' w6o
knows all things what hsppenS?"
'De foahman OBJ de grAn' jury"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
The Last Division.

Teacher-"If your mother should
wish to give each one an equal amount
of meat. and there should be eight in
the family, how many pieces would
she have to cut?"
Class-"Eight."
Teacher-"Correct. Now,each piece
would be called one-eighth OF tho
whole, remember that"
Class-''Yes' M" j
Teacher-"Suppose each pisee were
cut again, what would result?"
Smart Boy-"Sixteenths."
Teacher" Correct. And il cut
again?" !;
Boy-'Thirty seconds" >
Tencher-"Correct. Now suppose
we should cut each of the thirty!two
pieces again, what would EesEal,t2Ft -
Little GirI1;1HasfhC. Street Il
Smiths Good News. =
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Realistic Playing.

Petted Daughter-"They asked nae
to play at Mrs. Highupp's this even
ing. and Ibid; but"
Fond Mother, proudly-"Were they
not entranced?"
Petted Daughter-"Huml When !
played Life on the Ocean Wave with
variations half of them left thsrooHn."
Fond Mother, ecstatically-"That's
wonderful! They must have been sea-
sick. New York Weekly.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Little Johnny Tells q Story.


One time there was . young goto
wich felt butty, and there was . ole
ram wich lay in the road. haf sleep,
chune his cud. The cote he had been
shet up in a paster oil bis life. an had
never saw a ram, an he sed to his Gis.
ter, the cote did. "Yoa jeat stan stsI
an Sc me whipe that freek OF the fAee.
of the erth.
So the cote lie went up before The
ram an stomp mis- fects an shuke his
head real fritsiul, but the ram ne aiA.
ent gt up, but only jes KEEP a. .chune his
cud and wotehed out between his
lashes. Bime by the cote he backed
of and tuke a run. an thea arose uD q
the air an come down with his he'd on
the rams head. wnek! The coto's hoa
was busted, but the ole ram he never
wank his eye. Then the ole ram he
smiled with his mowth, an ssd to tbs
butte gote's sister, Pears to me,
miss, that kangaroo of yeurn u nifty
careless when he liteS, he come gum
dasted near making me swollsr my
ud."-San Francisco Examiner. /,
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
A Moment OF Candor.

Mrs. 6peakermind, at a chrysanthe-
mum show-"Why Is there such fur
or over such a commonplace flower as
the chrysanthemumi"
Every body Ese-"That's just what
We came to find out. New York
Weekly.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Another Lie Nailed.

81 have q horse that has run mile
in onstwenty."
"Is his tail bobbed!"
mo; whyi"
''Hscauss Il is best for horss-tels
like thet 20 BE- cAt short. Skxets
Bisld'S WasAiAstOn.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23

WA1 LOOKED Ik1 e. a an q
about 70 ocliet nn n1e1
tor Hugo wineed Dns Knol
pulled out hia wateA anA iooIgfl i
bis lneniorRndnm book for niadk i6
Was. remarkedp--
FsAt ten o'clock 20 and ees tho
giraffe ut the Jardin dsAcclinatn-
tien" whereupon be stalked oe with
his family with him.-L'Echo de-
Paris.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23

- pu"u TUT LeVoI' -HasKsy
First Escaped Murderer-T say,
pard, now we're out, what shall We
do? The blood-shedding instin ct 10
strong in me. simply thirst for gore.
How can we go on shedding and re-
main unhungf
Second Escaped Murderer-I have
it, my sanguinary friendl Well join
a professional foot ball team.-Pitts.
burg Bulletin.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23
Not sure.

Cashly-Thers! now that 1 have givI
en- that poor woman a quarter, I
ought to have luck.
Flashly-Don't follow, my dear man;
nothing to do with it.
"Why?"
81 went to the races one day and
gave blind man standing at the eate
n quarter for luck. Lost every cent I
had. When l came out, tried to
borrow a quarter OF the blind man.
but he couldn't see it. Kate Fisld'a
Washington. 81
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23

Boireau converses with the old Baro-
ness Cat one time the most fasci.
mating woman in society. but now
all shrivelled and wrinkIed. "Ah!"
exclaims her ladyship, How sad it Is
to grow old"
ITO be sure" Boireau remarks. "it
is hard lines when one has to turn
again into q caterpillar after having
been q butterfy!"-Le Figure.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-23

AI TITO TTINaho O0ASStiNo OTllC0s
Lady-"Do you happen to know
any of those people who purloin TOP.
coats, um 0rellas, ETC., from cafes AID
other places OF public resort?"
Detective:-"0h, certainly; has your
husband-2" -
Lady:-i'No; I only wanted to aSk
to 9 confectioner's where l often ealL
and got him to steal my old cloak, 50
that my husband will have to buy me
a sealskin for Christmas. Der Ulk.