Democratic messenger., 1893-01-14
MERRY CHRISTMAS IN THE AIR"
A Club Man Who Thinks II Costs IA Good
Deal To Give That Greeting.

A Club Man Who Thinks IL Costs IA Good
Deal to Give That Greeting.
Old Marley may or may not be as desl,i
as doornail. but this is not Christmas
carol. And yet il happens to be about
Christmas. There were IA lot of young
men in various indolent attitudes about
the loafing room of a Fifth avenue club.
They all belonged TO class of young
men who frequent the clubs for the rea-
son that they can get there month and
fifteen days credit for what they eat.
drink and smoke. and thus are enabled
To live month and IA half ahead of their
incomes. The oldest member of the
group was reading one of those alleged
humorous periodicals which blossom ont
in the holiday season with fearfully and
wonderfully illustrated legends. satirical
Christmas stories and pithy maxims OF
the peace on earth. good will toward
men order.
The man who wrote that WIS either
chump or liar. asserted the reader
suddenly, throwing down his paper
What did he wriie: asked a man
who was staring at the einbers of the
open fire.
Why. the Poor Richard or King Solo
man. or Martin Upper who runs IA col
umn of aphorisins in his blooming paper
says:
1t doesn't cost any money To wish
people merry Christmas.
Now that fellow has never lived in
New York in ahout the social rut along
which we are grinding. or If he has he 5
willfully suprcssing the truth. You fell
lows know as well ~ do that it costs
money. lots of il. To wish people II merry
Christmas. Why. without IA moment s
reflection any of us could string ont a
long price list of assorted merry Christ
masses to wit:
Wishing elevator boy nj Your apart
ment house merry Christmas. from - 10
81: wishing hall boy ditto. ditto. wish
ing washerwonan merry Christmas.
from 81 up. wishing elevator boy at
your Office building ditto ditto. wishing
merry Christmas 10 your office boy one
extra weeks salary: wishing ditto to
stenoSrapher. ditto: wishing yonr waiter
at luncheon place merry Christmas 81
wishing your barber the same change
out of the bill given mp for Christ
mas shave: wishing merry Christmas n
hostler who takes care of your horse -
ditto TO stable foreman. one box cigars.
$3.50
AT every club we enter Christmas
list stares us i'll the face. and the old
doornan and tho call boys. the coat check
boy and the clerk keep one eye ON the
list and the other on each entering mem.
Der until he has added his autograph 10
the growing collection. If Il fellow goes
to law school or medical school he
finds the janitor waiting in the hall on
the last night before the Christmas re-
cess with "a subscription list tackled M
by the door and the gas lighter III his
hand as Il pointer wherewith to call at
tention to il. tell you there's no way
for single man in a big city TO beat
this Christmas game. Talk about the
tariff being a tax: it's nothing alongside
of Christmas. Money talks. aud it's the
only kind Of talk that goes in this merry
Christmas business.
''Of course "a fellow does get u present
from best girl or two occasionally. but
he has more than to make it up by return
presents direct. or indirectly by flowers.
theater tickets. etc. Christmas is awfully
one sided. The companies. clients and
patients who employ us fellows never
wish us "a merry Christmas in the New
York vernacular"
NO" said the man who was still star.
ing dreamily into the fire: ''the only way
to get square with the game is to marry.
and then your wife will buy your pres
ents and have 'em charged to your ac-
count.
And the back log snapped ont shower
of sparks in emulation of this brilliant
solution of the difficulty.-New York
Tribune.