St. Landry democrat., 1893-04-08

smoke there must be fire ~ Harpcrs.
THE INTREPID BARON.
"Did YOU ever come face to face with
tiger when you were in India, baron"'
asked the young woman.
"Oncc," returned the traveller.
"And did you kill it?'
ono, madam; am too humane for
that. l simply skinned him and let him
60 Judge.
ONE PLATE.
"Im going to give a dinner to my
best friend tonight" said Mawson.
"Who is that?' asked Witherub.
"Mysclf,' said Mawson.- New York
Sun.
RATHER HARD.
Miss Budd-Do you have "Mr." on
your visiting cards?
Cholly (pleascd) - Why aw--yaas.
Did YOU think had titlc2
Miss Budd Yes. thought it might
be master. - Vogue.
IMMATER1AL.
A -year-old girl, lopsided in ap-
pcarance and engaged in chewing gum
in laborious fashion, came into a gro
Gerry, and checked the regular movements
of her jaws Just long enough to say in
distinctly to the grocer, ''Poun' tea
"Eh: What do you want, and who is
it for?' asked the grocer.
"roun' tea, f. my mothcr,' mumbled
the girl, her jaws going again.
"A pound of tea, ch! Well, which
kind do you want, black or grecn?'
"Um," said the girl, bringing her jaw
to sudden stop: ''don't make no differ
encc; nav, she's color blind ~ Youths
Companion.
THE GENUINE ARTICLE.
Lady-trc you sure this is genuine
English breakfast tea?
Talented Clcrk-Wcll, madam, had
some of that tea at supper last evening
and | dreamed all night that | was fall
ing off London Bridge. = New York
Weekly.
TIT FOR TAT.
"Scnorita, will you favor me with the
next quadriIe''
please ask mamma"
The young gentleman, after obtaining
the worthy matron's consent, came back
to the fair ,lamscl and said:
And now, perhaps, it would be as
we'll ii You went also to ask my papa's
permission
srEAk GENTLY OF THE EERING.
Shc-What do you think of the hero
inc of Harry dc Rcitcrs new story?
lIc-An ahominablc caricature of the
Am rican Girl. | wonder how he put
upon the public such a shallow. vain,
ostcntatinu> woman rs Il type. And |
wonder where he found his model.
She--Mr. de Rciter says he studied me
for that character.
VERY APPROPRIATE.
"Gcorgc, this !. the night of the ball ;
don't You remember"
Cant help it, I'm sick and can't
60"
But, George, don't I've stupid. This
is to be Il ball for the benefit Of a hos
pital.
ONLY NATTER OF ENDURANCE.
They were climbing the stairs towards
the linen department, and one of them
sighed wcariIy and said:
Il am SO tired. | feel as if l should
die
TO which her companion in an attempt
to be philosophical replied:
"Wcll. we'll all die sometime, if we
live long enough. - New York World.
GOOD ADVICE.
May-Is Mr.. Foster as attentive as
ever to you:
Edith-les, but he's perfect riddle.
May-IIadn't you better give him up,
then!
AN INCoRRUrrEBLE WITNESS.
Judge so the prisoner tried to in
ducc you not to give testimony. feline,
now, how he proposed to close your
mouth.
Witness With two pair of old trous-
crs and three tattered Shirts Flicgcndc
Blacttcr.
HARMONY IN THE HOUSEHOLD.
Mrs. Bracc--Do you and your husband
ever disagree?
Mrs Chacc--No, indeed! At least my
husband never does Puck.
HER EXCUSE.
IIc-So YOU have been dancing with
hat cad, Flashpot, while I've been to
ret your ice.
Shc-Wcll, dear, | thought | would |
5ct warmed up so as to enjoy the ice.-
Judy.
NATURE AGAINST HIM.
'You have been walking about this
great city for six weeks and haven't |
ound work." said the kind woman feel
ngly.
"Ics'm," replied the secdy man in the
Kitchen, his mouth closing over a wedge |
If pic. "That's right
''You are willing to work, dare say?"
''Willin, mum? I'd work my laigs off |
# could git chance. Jest leetle
more cream in the cavity. Thanky.'
And you would do any kind of
honorable work, | presumed"
"lcs'm, anything that's IN my line. |
,'lccvc in every man stickin' to his par
cssion."
MAY ask what your profession is?'
"Im an inventor, num-
can invcntOr?'
"Ycs'm,' reaching for doughnut,
Inventor of new process fur curin'
- Chicago Tribune.
A WIDEAWAKE RELATIVE.
Niece It's a pity, uncle, you visited us
o-day when we've only got pork for din
10Y Now il YOU were here Tomorrow