The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-03-21
SIX PAGES.
CAUSTIC HUMOR.

CAUsTIC HUMOR.
or course We would not think OF
matching the unpublished manners or
Southern provincial against the elegant
breeding Of a New York gentleman. OBJ
tanned I'm schools Of department. where no
manners are taught Of less than the 'aIi
wool and full yard wide variety. sun
less would we think Of matching them
against that species Of the New YORK
gentleman who was native 20 the huo'
md TO It's manners born. and who there
fore concentrates In himself all that can
be acquired in Boston by inheritance
and In New York by purchase NeVerthe-
less. there is something in the bosom OF
one Of those same Southern clodhoppeis
that would have made him soften II not
forbidden the caustic humor with which
Mr. Joseph H. Choate loaded his speech
81. Patrcks day i'm New York at dinner
given in DelmOnico's by the friendly sons
If St. Patrick; and Mr.. Ch0ate came TO
New York from Boston with Boston
Muest blood coursing through his veins,
into which he has since his arrival there
infused the very best coiOrins matter
that the New York market affords, re-
sulting in a person OF whom the latter
city is so proud that she never fails now
10 put him forward when occasion offers
as an elegant gentleman, cultivated
scholar. the leader Of the bar, brilliant
after-dinner spcaker-in short, New
Yorker Of the best style-and an edition
dc luxe" all Of which. indeed, he is.
Al the dinner aforesaid. Mr.. Choate
was called on to respond to the toast
"ireland." one would suppose that theme
on such an occasion would have suggested
pathos and seriousness to even New
York's funny man and swell Let us see
how the incident affected Mr. Choate.
We take the report of what occurred from
the New York Sun. After saying that he
should leave the question of Home Rule
to be discussed by his friends, Dr. De-
pew and Mr.. Gladstone. he added that
he preferred to speak upon kindred
subject. much more familiar to him,
which was. How Irshmen Would Rule
Away From Home Then, adding that
many representatives, of different nation
alities had come to New York city TO
capture what they could lay hands Oh,
he continued:
"AlI these might wen have been at
your chariot wheels. For what oncas.
great or small, have the i1snmcn not
taken? What spOils have they not car
lied away? From Mayor Gihoy loppiause
ana then checTs)-I avn glad to hear Your
applauseI am the only man here tonight,
doubt not who did not vote for Mayor
Gilroy. l voted for the other man. I've
forgotten who il was. No man could
stand against Thomas f. Gnroy ana his
seVenty-hve thousand majority.
but, gentlemen, now that You have
done 50 much fpr America. now that YOU
have made il all your own. what do YOU
propose TO do for lrelandi How long do
YOU propose to let her be the political
football of England. Poor. d0wn-tr0d-
den. oppressed Ireland, Hereditary bonds
men. know you not who would be free
themselves must strike the blow"
At this there was laughter and several
cries OF I'VE can't" and There isn't
any way 10 do it," Mr.. Choate went on:
"You have learned how 10 govern by
making all the soil of other countries
your own. Have YOU not learned how to
govern at home, how 10 make Ireland a
hand of rome rulc?'
There was a confused murmur in the
room. some laughter. some excited gesti --
ulation, few angry looks, several cries
of That's too strong. Choate is carrying
his sarcasm too far" Mr.. Choate went on
with sarcastic smile of good humor on
his face. There is a cure for Ireland S
woes and feebl sncss to-day. Ii is a strong
measure that advocate. But / am here
TO night 10 plead for Ireland with the re-
tanning fee IT. my possession. and pro-
pose 10 plead 1 propose that you should
all, with your wives and your children,
and your childrcn's children. win the
spoils you have taken from Amerlca in
your hands. set your faces hOmeward.
land there. and strike the blow"
AZ this there was some laughter, the
representatives of the other societies do
Ing the most OF II. there were many angry
looks. several cries OF mol Mo- and two
or three HISS half suppressed Mir
Choate. sull smiling and sarcastic. went
on:
Gentlemen. the G. O. NJ. needs YOU
lie is clamoring for you. And the O.
u ~ TO Whlch belong. has been so
severely disciplined that IL can get along
without you. Think what ii would mean
Tor both countries II all the lrsshmen Of
America, from Atlantic TO Pacific should
shoulder their muskets and march TO the
RELIEF OF their native land, Then. indeed.
would ireland be for lrishmen and Ameri-
ca for Americans
There was some applause. but sea- cely
any laughter. The banqueters were re-
ceiying Mr.. ChOate's gOOd-humored sar-
casms silently. ana were waiting anxi-
ously to see just how Tar he would 20.
Mr. ChOate went on:
AS you landed the G. o. Nj. would
come down 10 receive you with paeans
OF assured victory. AS you departed the
Republicans would go down TO see you
or and 20 bid you joyful farewell
Think OF the song you could raise, I'VE
are coming, Father Gladstone. fifteen