The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-01-26

Many a man makes failure OF lie
by trying to get along with his kin
-AtcbiS0n Gi0be.
Woman's face may be poem; but
she is always careful to conceal the
lines IN it.-Puck.
Recipe for domestic broil: First
catch the hair on your husbands coat
collar.-BoSt0n Gazette.
Many man will fight if you kick
his dog who lets his wife carry IN all
the wood.-Ranl's Horn.
St. Peter-"Won't you walk in?"
Boston Spinster-"Is Browning here?"
Kate Fields Washington.
Talk about your transformations!
We have seen square man turn
round.-YOnkers Statesman.
The man who is "alone with his
thoughts" often is surrounded by the
deepest solitude. -Te5as iSytings.
Shelf you had never met me
would you have loved me just the
same?" He (conyincingly)-"More"
Life.
The days of chivalry are spoken OF
as the dark ages, probably because
they were the knight time.-Btnghana-
ton Leader.
The Barton ball was very select.
| There were only two common people
on the floor" Who were they'"
Mr.. and Mrs. Barton" -Puck.
| The man with mouth" may have
as much mind as some other people.
but he is usually good deal more
economical with it Washington Star.
Il wish YOU would not take advant-
age of the relationship seemingly i'm
| piled in your name to be so familiar"
said the hen to the hatchet.- WaShtng-
ton Post.
Jefferson = What noise De
Noodles shoes make when he walks. :"
, Snarleigh-"Ye but his shoes are not
nearly so loud as his clothes. Ray
mond's Monthly.
The old fellows altered his will,
they saw" 90, yes. They discovered
that the legatee was trying to kill him,
and the doctor advised change of
heir. "-Detr0U Iribaqe.
NJ lola insists that he is not revolu-
tionarv. What he wants is reforms
without violence" That is about the
boys idea of parental government
Btnglnmt0n Republican.
Said the preacher, You are COM
manded to love your neighbor az your
self" Good gracious, as much as
that?" exclaimed the honest man of the
congre CATION. -Boston transcript.
Friend-"It seems to me that | have
seen something like that before. What
is that painting after?" lmpecunious
Artist-"At present it is after a pur-
chaser" Haruard Lanlpo0n.
Tug Captain = Boss. the boats
workin' very badly now, an we ought
to do somethin' about it" Tug Owner
-"She won't work, eh? Well, then,
dock her. see?"-PdiLade7phia Record
q wonder why woman persists in
carrying her pocketbook in her hand?"
1T may be that her hand is more likely
to be sought in marriage if there is
money in it. "-HqdianapoJiS Journal.
what made you name your farm
'Meter'?" queried the reporter. "Be
cause it lies 50 beautifully" answered
the retired gas magnate with a low
sibilant chuckle.-Hadianap0 Jour
nal
This paper says they electrified 8
mummy in London some time ago
and made it talk" What did it say?'
Il don't know. | fancy it was some
thing like Cad, I'm dry" Brooklyn
| Life.
Mrs. Hicks-"I wish you would &C
out with baby for little while.
Hicks-"W Veil, well; the neighbors have
got a notion now that I'm sandwich
man for baby carriage factory
brooklyn Life.
"And this is the founder of oul
house. He fought under William the
Conqueror." Il suppose you are very
proud of him?" well, hardly. You
see he is the only one of our house
since its foundation without ancestors.
life.
Detective-"Whv do you suspect
your cashier? He is not extravagant
although it i. true he lives in com
tort Principal - That's just it
With the salary l give him he could
not possibly live in comfort" =
Fttege'lde Batter.
$50 friend Bushler was on top o
Mont Blanc? Not at all" But he
said So" True. Two months age
when he returned from Switzerland
he said he had been at the foot O
Mont Blanc. Since then he hal
gradually lied himself to the top
FIsegende Blatter.
Il am not worthy of you, Maud.
am not all l should be. l have no
made the most of my opportunities
But love you. Will you be mine?'
Acting upon your advice, my deal
! George" returned the fair young girl
Il am constrained to say no. | mus
have a man who is worthy of me-
Harper'S Bazar.
Young Milkenworter's tutor CAV,
him the problem: "Decidus was borr
thirty years before Christ and dice
thirteen years after. How old wa
Decidus when he died?" Milkenwortel
labored for awhile with paper and pen
ell. Finally, after protracted strug
gle with his teeming brain, he looked
up and said: If knew when Chris
was born, l could work "-Princetor
Tiger.
A young graduate in the law visited
successful lawyer and asked his ad
vice as to the best general course t.
pursue in building UP practice
Above all" said the old lawyer, "keel
up your fees. Don't work cheap. l
you do people will think you are good
for nothing" But, sir, nobody vii
pay my fees, and shall die of starva
ton" "Oh. we'll, you must expect t.
die for awhile-but after that you'll
be all right. Youths Companion.
Dimling was stopped by two footpad
the other night. One of them covered
him with a revolver, and the othel
said: Turn over all your cash. anC
be quick about it" MY dear fellows,
said Dimling, in response to their ur
gent invitation, Il have no cash t.
turn over. | have just left churcl
fair" The footpads first satisfied