The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-08-05

A&1&3SE42. ~ years ago,
M|% (1H1h n, spanking four
LTrlM kVIIIlU horse tie a m
VIl&.E\ draw ing a
VIVA gaudily paint
M s.: 8: !:
who performed on very
small, wheezy melodeon, German
comedian, and '.doctor;'' all dressed
in somber black coats and wearing
glossy silk hats.
The horses we're Eayly caparieoneda IN
white banners, which bore. IN
huge red letters, the inscription: Cy-
clone Oil for Man and Beast" This ex-
planned the business Of the visitors and
lage loafers to the courthouse square
to witness the exhibition. 1t being
Saturday, a greater portion OF the as
sembly were country folk, who In the
south use that day principally for trad
ing and loafing when they come to
town. The songs transported the audi
cnce, and the comedian, in a ridiculous
maR<e-up and costume, convu1sed them;
but when the doctor arose to sell his
wares, and got well started in his adj
dress, his audience stood with bullying
eyes in silent admiration, while listen
Some showed by their manner that they
were seriously impressed, and knowing
looks would be exchanged when some
great truth was hurled at them by this
vender of cheap Iife-saving balm,
''within the price of each and every
one" His powers as a speaker were to
them supreme, and when he had nm
ished and opened his satchel to furnish
suffering humanity his wares, Mark
Tidwell. a long, lanl<, sallow-skinned
native, who had been standing with his
hands thrust deep in the pockets of his
yellow jean breeches, now turned to q
companion and said: ''Doggone my cats
eff that Teller don't beat Vance er speak
in'!' Which remark was the greatest
recommendation this doctor could
have had in these mountains.
Uplifted hands stretched forth their
money to receive this precious fluid of a
dark reddish hue, in very small walls,
wrapped in pink paper obtaining d,-
rcctiOns for use, and, as they purchased,
made room for the outer ones, who
were clamoring for an opportunity to
buy. Mark finally edged his way to
the doctor and said:
...JedRe. I sw'ar that war a good talk
in We give, an eff this hyar med'cin' is
es good es yer talkin', I'll jis' be burned
eff don't try CIR bottle of hit"
The doctor assured him that II
| would cure anything that ever afflicted
man or beast; that it was a sovereign
! remedy for stubborn maladies, and 1
properly used according to tho dlrec
| tions accompanying each and every bot
tie it would restore the hair to a side o
| sole leather. Mark was convinced. ant
| slowly pulled from the depths of hi
pocket a well-worn wallet, resem bling
| IL slab of old-fashioned gingerbread
and, after unwinding a quantity o
shoestring from about it, produced hi
money, and then departed for his HON
with his purchase. loud in his praise O
the "doctors' ability as an orator. to
neighbor who logged along on his mul
| beside him.
The foregoing happened in tn
spring.
AS the heat of the summer increased
so did the visitors to the mountains, an
gay equipages thronged the drives.
One day, however, gentleman
came to this resort who brought wit
him his coach. which soon becam
known far and wide among the vii
layers as the tally-ho, being the onl
one ever seen in that vicinity. SO on
afternoon, as the tally-ho was bowlin
along the principal street, filed wit
| beautiful women and handsome mer
Mark Tidwell was once more standin
| in front of the courthouse square,
being Saturday-and as he spied tn
coach rumbling toward him down tt
rough street he vehe"ently exclalme
| to the bystauders:
dad burn tn hide of me eff hyar don
cum tibet lie chap ergin!'-and witho'
further words he picked up larf
stone and, as the.tcoach passed hir
| heaved it with all his might at the v
| hicle. 1t struck just above the do
and splintered that side of the coac
= making a hole-as one of the loafe
, expressed it-.''big ernuf fer er CAT t
jump through"
The occupants on top of the coa'
were in a high state of excitement al
/ alarm. The gentlemen all sprang dow
q and ran toward Mark to inquire in
{ the cause of this indignity, when MAJ
z reached for another stone, and shoute
Il as be sprang high in the air, cracki,
I his heels together as he came down:
Stan back, yer sneakin', white-l
cred buzzar1s! Eff yer lay yer han
me I'll bounce this hyar rock off'n
top-knot of one o We! Back hyar crgi
air We? With yer chunes an yer do
: | term, an err sellin' yer dad bling
= pizen ter folks whar can't read"
Mark had made q terrible mistake
| his men. for the owner ct the coax
/ ~,s,ll knoVSo In thu mount ipH.~2n0