The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-02-09
WIT AND HUMOR.
What's a secret for, anyway, if not

to tell--S0DieTTtEte o0uTHat.
1t sometimes takes an entire life
time to pay for one folly.-Gatreston
Nes0S.
Nothing pays a poorer interest OIL
the investment than wearing long
face-Rana'S Horn.
A new broom sweeps clean; SO will
an old one in the hands Of a new jan
itor.- Union Standard.
Many broadcloth husband owes his
position to the fact of his marrying
gingham girl.-Ieras SJttngS.
A New York waiter says his work
reminds him of very large eagle.
1t is so long from tip to tip.-Ie1aS
.Sittings.
Some claim that the counterpart IN
the opposite sex Of the grass-widow
should be designated the hay-rake.-
Philadelphia Times.
She-It is reported around town that
we are engaged. He-I have heard
worse things than that, She--l never
have.-Lye's Calendar.
MOTHERHOOD careless boy! Look at
your clothes! Have you been playing
football again? Little Son-No'm; on
" ghtin'-Good Meas.
Dowell-Do you think the love OF
money the root of all evil? Harduppe
No; think the want of money the
root of all evil.-N. Y. Press.
Law books cost a great deal, don't
they?" said one student to another.
Yes" was the reply. They are high
and dry" Washington star.
81 see you have a new typewriter" "
aYes. The other one and | quarreled
SO much that | was afraid it would
end in marriage. "-IndtanapoEts Jour-
nal.
Willie-Papa, some one has invented
a magazine gun. What kind is that?
Papa (refectively)-It must be one
that goes off once month.-Ptttsburg
Bulletin.
A girl should be as self-possessed as
possible, but that ought not to inter-
fere with her being possessed eventu-
ally by suitable young man.-Sonaer-
UiUe Journal.
She-WhY is it when doctors are i'll
they never attend to their own cases?
He-I don't know, but | should say 1T
was because they can't charge them
selves for it.-IU-BitS.
The Skeptical Aunt~-What does he
do, Dolly. for a living? Dolly (greatly
surprised) w by, aunty, he does not
have time to earn a living while we
are aged!-Lite'S Calendar.
Mamma" said Tom. "does sugar
ever cure anybody of anything?"
"Why do YOU ask, my boy?" Il
thought I'd like to catch it, said
ommy.-Huper's Young People.
Gle has come for her in a buggy
and she objects to the turnouD-"You
are vvy particular; you put on more
airs than a music-box" well,
don't 90 with a crank, anyway. >
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. G.-Here's a sample of the
cloth my husbands new suit Will be
made of Mrs-Does he like it? Mrs.
G.-Not exactly; but it matches my
walking dress so perfectly | decided to
get it.-Judge.
Four beers for q nickel in st. Louis
and there are places in Buffalo where
it costs 10 cents a glass. But, then,
Peol;lo ~ i'Ie Coiii !'oale" " Nv ~ ,,s'
-Bufaio Express.
Iutf Muggs-So you got clear o
that larceny charge Ell? Must a mad
purity smart lawyer. Barryl Howes
Nav. He was regular chump.
Dn on''i y" 90 loi 'ie'i IL ine-
i'''sst''''f,0s'' 'o"' ''N..
wv hat does Maj. Bidders wear spec
tacles Tor. lie always takes them OIL
when he wants to see anything.
Il o" re mistaken; when he goes to see
the pension examiner he always keeps
''ioii on. : D0'' 'SS A|S0"''e'
Mrs. Hlgherman-Now, about that
man YOU sent over to me-is he honesto
Mrs. Fireman-We l should saw so.
He has been trisd twice for stealing,
and escaped both times. Smith. GRAZ
&c co.'s Monthly.
1T shows on de face of it dat eglar
actors amt in it wild us pugilists; see?
We can 90 on de stage and act when
ever we feel like it. But youse dom,
see no actors goin' in de prize-ring, dc
yer?"- Hashiagton Star.
81 hear that crino1ioo !, oo;n~ - l.,
worn a%ain ,r , .rIlldG p Il gong 20 DC
sighed Goggins, that means box at
the theatre instead of 4 seat; but
thank heaven there won't be room in
the box for a chaperoD. too. - zrDey,s
Baz0r.
Mrs D,Av,oo Thoso s.uoo+ ,oou
ers have aot tbro,,aL ot'1agt NJ ~,
AvnooNTRev havo NJ ~ D.,.nno =
Yes, they taken away their red Ian
tern. Mr.. D'Avnoo-Taken away their
red lantern? Well. wellt Another old
landmark gone.-N y. Veeklu.
"yyb,+ orc o orr; oho.
1ittIo n,a, o 81 SGu crS M aoooI: my
ny e. oIiiiiiy " DIleli Hckeo
inttin ~, 81 ia an men laIler llcked me LOT
Io.'iHS oi'illils lick me- ana then JIM
ond rovIe I,1,,aso Ia,oi, .'