St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-02-05
HOW TO MANAGE A WIFE.
The Best Way Is to Let Her Man
age You.

The Best Way Is to Let Her Man
age You.
AS a good many of our young readers
have been married during the last
twelve months, and a still larger number
hope to be in the next twelve, we trust
that the subject we have chosen for this
mornings meditation may prove inter-
eSting to them, says the Charleston Is.
c. News and Courier. 1t is related that
a young man who was about to be mar
ried recently called Oh Rev. Dr.. Deems,
of New York, and requested his advice
as to the best metlfod of managing a
wife. You manage horse, sirw the
doctor replied Indignantly, 'but you do
not manage a wife" AS the good doc
tor is.someWhat of humorSt, he doubt
less added mentally, Though they often
manage u.s.
We are not informed whether the III
QuiSitive youth skunk away abashed or
remained to put his question in some
less offensive form. Ii he pursued the
latter course we would be glad to hear
what advice he received from the rev.
erend gentleman, whose opinion on any
subject is so we'll worth attention. In
terest in this subject is by no means
confined to the newly married, how
ever. Even though we be about to eel
citrate our silver wedding, or have long
since done so, it is probable we might
gather few hints from the doctors
talk with his young FRIEND since it is
very sure that no man ever succeeded
in answering that question to himself in
perfectly satisfactory manner.
From time immemOrial the problem
Of how to manage wife has been a
matter of anxious thought with nus
bands of every land and age, aud we
have yet to hear of one that made
complete success of it. Bluebeard, who
is generally held up as an example of
ferocity and sternneSs, imagined he had
solved the difficulty when he cut off the
heads of his various wives and hung
them Ill his closet; but that was only a
brief triumph of brute strength over
wOmanly weakness, and he found in
Fatima, his tenth ortWefth bride,a wife
who was more than match for him.
Mythology assures uS-that even the gods
themselves, with all their supposed
wisdom, were quite as poWerlesS as
mOrtalS when it came TO this matter.
Despite JoYe'S frOwnS and ever-ready
thunderboItS. he made but sorry
figure in his efforts to manage Juno,
and whenever he was particularly anX-
iOuS to gam bis point 1t was necessary
for him to resort to some crafty means
of coercing or deceiving her. Where he
failed it would have been preSumptu-
Gus for Homer to have made any of his
heroes more fortunate, and So Clytem-
neStra, Helen, Penelope and the rest of
the Grecian wives followed their own
sweet wills and kept their husbands in
hot water continually.
If we turn from fiction to reality we
are forced to conclude that the early
writer's were drawing upon their own
experience of human nature in depict
ing the lives of their heroes and hero
ines. This inability to manage their
wives has been inherited by men
through hundreds of generations. The
very first husband Oh record made a
miserable failure in his attempt to gov
ern Eve, and ended, as his countless de-
sceudantS have ALWAYS done, by allow
ing MIS-. Adam to twist him around her
little finger with disastrous cOnSe-
quences TO them both. Abraham, Isaac
and Jacob were ali notably in
capable of ruling their households.
and if their kinsman Lot had
had his wife in better training
he never would have allowed her to
look back at Sodom. But 1t is useless
to enumerate any more especial cases
when we remember that Solomon, so
renowned for his wisdom in everything
else, never discovered the secret of how
to manage his muItitudlnous wives, but
allowed them to lead him into all man
ner of heresy and SchiSm. And as it
was III the days of Solomon so it has
been without exception ever since. until
= IoS nnHnh n IliI II u 10,
edging this weakness and always speak
ing respectfully of their wives as my
better half" And the fact of their sub
lection to home rule has embodied itself
in many homely prOverb synonymous
with 1.-The gray. mare being the better
horse"
1t is very amusing to any one who is
familiar with the ways of the world to
! hear how particular some young men
| are that their bride should pronounce
distinctly the little word ''obeY' of the
marriage service. We have even known
ministers when they had not heard it
clearly or had any suspicion that the
lady was Intentionally evading the OBJ
noXious word, pause and repeat it sig
nificantIy. Alas, how vain are ali such
attempts to change the course Of nat
ure! AS we'll might one try to stop a
crevasse on the Mississippi with a
single sod as to oppose little word
like that to the course of Woman'S
will. And that man makes fatal mis-
take at the very outset Of his married
life who allows his wife to perceive that
he is more anxious that she should
''obey" him than about her loving and
honoring him. To realize this is enough
to arouse all the opposition in her ma
ture, and he may be very certain that
whether she said ''obey" or not she has
not the slightest idea of doing it unless
it happens to suit her pleasure occasion
ally. Should any ventureSome youth,
outside of North Carolina, think to play
Petrucho to his wife's Katherine, he is
more likely to land in divorce court
than to induce her to say with the lat
ter:
1 am ashamed that women are SO simple
To offer war where they should kneel for
peace;
Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway
| When they are bound to serve. love and
obey.
From all this it would seem, then, that
| the very best way to manage wife is
! to let her manage you, since she is
| bound to do so whether you like it OF
not Or, if you are domestic Machla-
| velli, you may possibly succeed in de-
| ce wing her into the belief that she is
doing as she likes, when in truth she is
o. yng your uneXpressed will. This
| poll Y is so difficult, however, and re-
| qu.res such cOnsummate tact and eternal
Vigilance, that it is perhaps easier tC
| submit to mans common lot and do as
| your wife wills.