St. Paul daily globe., 1893-08-06
IN THE SUMMER TIME.

IHey iHteHueu spending the month or
| August at the worlds fair. Alas! ''Last
winter was long time ago; since
then times have leen steadily becoming
| harder, hintier and stonier. Those
| words just suit these cast iron times. l
would like to write learned treatise
on hard times, but must confess L don't
| understand them; when / ask an ex-
| planatlon of financier of the male per-
| suaSion, l am treated to an explanation
that sets my head in whirI. and the
only ordinary words L can gather are
mo confidence" run on bank; and
''silver market" l don't understand
why any one but Iunatic would want
orun on bank; better run on the
sidewalk; aud as l understand meat
markets better than silver markets. l
shall continue to trade at the former
and let the rest of the country go to the
bow-wowS, until man can be educated
/ to give his female friends a reasonably
| lucid account of financial matters.
Have my neighbors opposite gone to
the fair? No, indeed: the Financial
| depression" the run on the bank" or
| the mo confidence" has caught them.
| But they are brave, and will keep up
appearances or die i'll the attempt. They
have closed the front of the house, and
| now live in the kitchen and woodshed-
this is a secret only known to their inn
| mediate fourth story ueighbOrs, who
| can look over the high board fence If
| you happened to visit one of these high
| up residents you could look right down
| i'll their back yard and spy the family
| seated on the back porch. intently
| studying 'Guide to the Worlds FAIR
| They are committing to memory the
most prominent features. About the
| first oil September they will quietly
| sneak out of the back gate just before
daylight. A few hours afterward they
will drive up to the front door. make
| great commOtion. throw open the house,
| prepare to receive their friends and give
more vivid and thrilling descriptions of
| the White City than if they had derived
| their information from the original, in
| stead of guide book
! ~
| This weather is not so apt to make
| one long for Chicago as it is to make
| one long for nice stream, with a big,
fat grandpa trout ready to swallow any
| kind of hook, and then, with his dy-
! ing breath, call on the rest of his family
| to come and do likewise. | watched d
| fishing party this week at the lake.
| They started off Splendidly; two nice
girls, two athletic young men, two fish
| poles, two bottles water bottleS-and
last, but not least, pail of Dice. lively
| little green frogs. Surely, they will
| catch whale or sea serpent" thought
| the bystanderS. They anchored right
! over big black baSS-or q werd-they
| cQuldn' tsee very distinctly. Suddenly we
saw both the girls jump onto their feet;
| gather their clothes around them and
| let out Shrek after shrek. The boys
seem to have disappeared into the bot
| tom OF the boat or the lake. Help,
| murderm yelled. the girls. and their
geSticulations would have done credit
to n Btrnhard5. Something terrible
must have happened; boat probably
sprung leak" said one spectator
Boys fallen ill.," said another. and five
or six started out in boats to the rescue
1t was terribly hot day, and the res =
cuero rowed like mad to the boat where
iii stool those shrieking females. When
ReScuer No. l got within ten feet o f
them they both hOwled out together:
''FOr heavens sake, come quick and
| take Us out! The pail has upset and
the frogs are hopping all over the
boat fhere is one now; helpI':
| That brave would-be delYerer
| juststOppcd long enough to see both
boys fiat in the water in the bottom of
rn .,f h.ir
escaping bait. Then he hied himself
Dack to shore, leaving those shrieking
| girls to the mercy of those frightfu ul
froggies. The would-he preserver and
The unpresarved are not peaking during
these dog days. He says, Any person
that will inveigle Il fellow into rowing
two miles i'll two minutes because a frog
| is hopping near her feet" etc, ETC.
The girls are just as resentful. They
have their opinion of q man who will
deliberately row away and leave them
in boat with thirteen loose frogs hop
ping all over. Why, they might have
bitten US at any moment
This is ideal weather for moonlight
excursions, if the moon can be per
suaded TO come out and stay out.
| prefer a rowb0at Slibolts are
| treacherous, aid do not think they
are to be trusted since Kitty told me her
experience. There was the moon shin
| ing down OH them. and John Oh his
knees in the stern just beginning, "WiII
you be mine, Kitty dear" when along
comes a little Squall and around goes
the boom. sweeping poor John off his
! knees into the water. When he was
| finally hauled aboard he was too full
OF water-for further utterance, and
now that Southern girls dark eyes have
| played havoc with his susceptible sum
mer heart, and Kitty fears he will never
| finish the sentence that unromantic
| boom interrupted. fear Kitty didn't
want this repeated, but wish to give it
out as warning to other loving couples
to steer clear of sallboats until every
thing is settled.
! There is something about steamboats,,
! also, that takes the romance out of any
thing less than bridal couple. Perhaps
| il Is the smell of the oil and smoke.
Imagine calling your girl darling and
getting a mouthful of oil and cInders;
| or inSinuate that she is an angel. have
to repeat it four times, and finally
scream it out like Zulu in order to be
heard above the throbbing engines.
Then, if she laughs at you, that Internal
| whistle is sure to shrek out in deriSiOn
and let the whole world know what
fool you have made of Yourself. When
you are left alone you demand satisfac-
ton of the pilot or captain, take your
choice. If they tell you that the whistle
was signal to another boat. don't be-
iieve them. 1t was intended as personal
! insult
fear that our summer girls are for
getting that 'cleanllneSs is next to god
illness. ."-(Mark Twain.) If they kept