St. Paul daily globe., 1893-01-29
WOMEN ABOUT ST. PAUL.

Let the man who insinuateS that wOm-
en- lack business enterprise read the
following incident, and change his opin-
ion: One evening last week when Mr..
Robson could not appear, and the ticket
money was refunded, | saw two thrifty
females present passes for reimburse
ment. 1t is needless to say that the
doorkeeper was about as clever as they
were, and they. departed with their
pocketbo0kS in the same condition as
when they arrived. This is Just WON.
ans luck. When she does plan nice
scheme to make little money some
horrid man interferes, and then says
they lack business enterprise"
What was that, if not business enter
prise? Il
For years l have been looking for 4
woman who could ride i'll an elevator
without glancing i'll the mirror, but [
have given it up as hopeless task. and
am convinced that such one cannot
be found on this planet. L am willing
to acknowledge that | am hardly well
enough acquainted with the Inhabitants
Of the other planets to be sure that they
have elevators, but as soon as we can
be assured that they have not such
convenience, some enterprising Yank
will be sailing up there i'll balloon and
taking out a patent on Lunar ele
vator'' or Star Lift" and "Drop-a-
cloud-in- -slot-and- -take-a-trip- -to-Ju-
piter" machine. | have all idea that the
late comet was only one of their electric
lights that got loose. If they have cleo
trio lights, why not elevators? So may
soon change my observation and hunt
for this rara avis in the moon.
The amount of renovating woman
can accomplish in an elevator between
two floors would make her fortune, if
she employed the same energy in her
business. Her hat receives jerk, her
hair a little twist, refractory hair pin
is readjusted and-you mustn't repeat
this-l have seen daub of powder
skillfully applied to her little nose.
Then she looks innocently around and
exclaims ooh! ! wanted to get off at
the floor below; don't you call out the
number of the tioors%' and this to the
lOng-sutfering elevator boy who had
stopped at every floor on the way
up! lie has studied womankind, and
his experience tells him that only one
in fifty is quite sure where she is going.
He strongly suspects that some of them
ride in the elevator to get good look
at their bonnet; but he doesn't mind: a
person who can look good natured after
answering five thousand questions and
having his feet used fora floor all day
can endure anything with eQuanimity.
A busy man who meets crowd Of WOm-
ell in the pOstoffice is to be pitied. The
dear creatures are so sWeetly calm and
deliberate. As you are about to hand in
your money and hurry back to the offlce
where you have left three good clients
waiting, up from the depths pops a
meek little woman whom you would
think tiny breeze would watt away.
but her appearance bellies her. for you
are thrust aside and she plants herself
firmly right under your nose, heaps any
number Of parcels, mutf, a Satchel and
pocketbook on the shelf before the
stamp window, and proceeds to buy six
teen tWO-cent stamps. She counts her
change, then is quite sure it is not cor
rect and recOuntS it. After becoming
satisfied that it is all there. she separ-
ate5 the five-cent pieces from the tens
and deposits them in different compart-
ments of her p0cketbo0k, hunts about
fifteen minutes for her pocket, and
finally thruSts it into the depths, from
whence it drops 10 the floor, having
been thrust into the wrong opening. 1t
takes a woman of long experience and
large brain to find her pocket at a
moments notice. You get down on
your knees before the crowd, rescue
the purse and hand it tn her with an
idea that she will surely go home now
and let you buy that postal card for
which your soul is ardently longing.
Poor deluded man. SHE is sure some
of her change has fallen out, and counts
it again; it is ali right, and the crowd
gives sigh of relief. Does she vacate
her position? No, indeed. She gathers
up her stamps and letters, and
in the presence of the stamping,
shuff1ing crowd that is await
ing her pleasure proceeds to lick
every individual stamp. Nobody pro-
tests; would she consider it her fault if
you have lost your train and are too
late to attend your own wedding? You
do not know how much you really think
OF this little stamp woman until you
drive up to your inamorata'S house to
take her ont sleighing and find she has
gone out with another fellow because
your note did not reach her in time
You swear vengeance on that woman.
and think you will hereafter patrOnize
telegraph companies.
%
AS we will soon have a great many
electric wires underground, it will be
we'll for the public to know that electric
wires are OF female persuasion. You
may doubt this, but received my au-
thority for this statement from reli-
able source. AS [ was walking down
Wabasha street | heard foreman issue
the following orders to gang of labor
ers who were burying electric wires,
"GIve her a push, let her down easy {;
now she is all right" He used feminine
gender.and | am sure he ought to know.
Females are apt to resent being down.
trodden, which | think satisfactorily eX-
plains the shock careless people have
received when treadlng on electric
wires.
I often meet woman wheeling a
baby in perambulatOr. She covers the
innocent victim with silk crazy patch
work quilt. 1t makes grown people
fiighty to look once OH one Of those con-
glomerations, that consist Of q thousand
pieces. every one of different size,
color and shape, put together with
about as much taste as uOttentOt
would exhibit if decorating himself for
a feast of missionary ribs. Think of
the infant brain after gazing constantly
on this exhibition of two or three years
of wasted labor. Can it be expected to
develop into anything but lunatic?
Give the rising generation chance.