The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1893-05-18
lOUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
iNCS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes ana Jokeiets that Are Supposed -
Have Been Recently Isorn-Sayings saA
Doings that Are Odd. Cwrioos and
LauShablc.
Let Us Laugh.

pair OF SuiFcS. .-lI0"neStcF lCmOCrat.
4 MAN with a million can't very
we'll help being capital fellow
Troy Press.
\ BuoTLESs ATTEMPT. To get up
stairs without being heard by your
wife. Texas Sifting>.
THE man who was dissatisfied with
the menagerie said it was beastly
affair. r.-Binghamton Leader.
IT wasn't until woman started in
to improve her mathematics that
she began 70 count for much. Troy
Press
THE assertion that woman can't
keep a secret is disprovcn by the way
4 Spinster holds her age. BOSTON
Courier.
.IAGsoN says if most mems con-
sciences should talk out loud they
would he sued for slander. Elmira
Gazette.
Dor (aged &, on conclusion Of song
by celebrated tcno-) Papa. did that
man make all that noise on purpose?"
lid Bits.
THE sawmill sometimes impresses
the operator which the fact that it has
an "otI- hand" way of doing things.
Boston Courier.
WHEN two people get mad at each
other, each begins to think Of how
much he has done for the other. -
Atrhison Globe.
No. MAUD. dear. the chickwce1
Il . Ia 1,v.S - ,1nR nj
the same bntaniral family.-Fhila.
delphia Record.
DAsHAwAY Il have Just been up in
the mountains for a little shooting.
Clevcrton-Any luck? Dashaway-
One guidc.-Life.
WAS the charity ball Il succcss?'
'Dh, my. yes. Our deficit was only
40. and the Charity Society will have
to pay -Rrooklyn Life.
"YcU must have perseverance,"
said the young physicians friend.
No" was the reply, what / want is
patients. Washington star.
"OH, m,mma." said little Ethel
the first time she saw a Chinaman,
"!o * lit the gentleman with his eyes
cut bias. WaShin yton Star.
You can tell more about mans
character hy trading horses with him
than you can by hearing him talk in
prayer meetings. Rams Horn.
TrrRIsT-l understand they raise
! pretty nearly everything in this
county. Farmer - Everything hut
mortgages pardner. r.--Butfalo Express
Il DON'T loike ownin' me own
home" said Pat. after year of pro-
prict"'ship. at takes all the fun
out of not payin' rint. -ITarper's Ra-
| zar.
a LADY says that shc could alwavs
KIN W when she had taken just TOO
| niuch wine at dinncr--hc: husbands
jokes icgan to seem funuy.-Sift-
| ingS.
| 4 FARMER who wished to enter
>unle animals at an agricultural ex-
hihitipn, wrote rs follows to the
secretary: Enter me for a iackaSs."
It'd Bits.
IT doesn't do to be too careful.
The man who bit quarter and
| found that it was bad. left it in such
shape that he couldn't pass It any
| where. Puck.
FRnN 4 LAST WIiL.-"My faithful
servant Johann is to receive 2,0oC
empty wine bottles. the contents OF
which he drark during my lifetime"
Flirscnde Blaetter
| POSTAL CLERk--"Malam. this let
ter is overweight" Cora Spondcnce
why. how is that?" Postal Clerk
-"You have iut two Columbian
stamps on it."-Puck.
WHAT is the name of that ex.
Queen of Hawaii! never can re-
member it?' asked one Philadelphian
of another. "Liliokawanamakcr."
said the other. Truth.
AGNEs-Why don't you break the
en- -agement if he is so disagreeable
to yuu? Mamic---Wcll. you see, he's
given me hardly any presents as yet
Atlanta Constitution.
THE process of trying to get an o.
flee is very simple. First. the ap-
plicants file their applications: then
tha party in authority polishcs them
of. lf.-Philadelrhil Times.
Flrz-What does II. S. V. =. stand
for? Maxwell. to Judge by the
conduct of some society people. I
should say it means Rush in, Shlke
hands, Nictilal up, and Put.-Puck.
BAGLuIGrr--1t's my opinion that
Brown hasn't half the brains he
thinks he has. Waglcigh-Probab'y
not. but did You ever think how nice
ly he c ,uld get along with even less
than thlt-Dctroit Tribune.
AK undertaken in Union, Tenn.
recently used his hearse in pursuing
his daughter, who had elopc.l with
his assistant. Could the undertaken
over,akcr is a problem left unsolvel
hy the accounts. Philadelphia
Ledger.
FAIR CLIENT want to get a
divorce from my husband. Chicago
A,torncy-."On what grounds" Fair
Clicnt-"Wcll. we were married."
Chicago Attorncy-"That'S all that
is necessary. I'll send you the decree
C. Q. D."-Puck.
! Mrs. Frrrs-"You write such short
letters when you are away. don't
see why you couldn't write me nice
long ones. as you did when We were
engaged" Mr. Fit's--"lIunestiy. my
dear, l didn't suppose you would have
any time to read them. In the days
Wien we were engaged you had no
Homework to do. o."-Indianapolis
journal.
Too Much Curiosity.