The Globe-republican., 1893-03-03
A Shrinking of Suice.

A Sprinkling OF Spice.
He began. as it cold enough for"
and then frOze up.-Cleyeland Plain
dealer.
A MUSSULMAN is not as a matter of
course vender of oysterS.-Lowell
Courier.
JAGsoN says that our boon compan-
ions can be relied upon because they
are our fast friends.-Elmira Gazette.
A RICH St. Louis girl is about to
marry an Indian. In fact, fortune
seems to favor the brave. -Yonkers
Statesman.
A MAN who has lost collars in a
laundry refers to the institution as a
big iron and steal syndicate. Wash
ington Star.
A TOPER's promises are deemed I'M
reliable, Notwithstanding the fact
that he is conceded to be a full-flller.
Boston Courier.
Il ALWAYS found Hamlet easy"
said the old tragedian, but l had to
hump myself to do justice to Richard
the Third. Puck.
He (anxiously)-"You are not your
own dear self tonight, sweetheart. !"
She passively)-"No, darling-I am
yours. Funny Folks.
ONE could stand some men going
of in flight of eloQuence" if it
would only take them out of hearing.
Cleveland Plaindealer.
"THE air seems fresher in winter
than it does in summer" "Yes, it's
kept on ice most of the time, you
know. Washington Star.
A SECOND STREET dry goods dealer
advertises the strange fact that his
stock of handkerchiefs is not to be
sneezed at.-PhilaGelphia Record.
SOME of our theatrical managers
might do well to emulate the exam
pie of the heavens in the matter of
shooting stars.-Boston Transcript.
"I'LL be awful glad when paw swears
on smokin' again." said Tommy.
This is the fourth lickin' I've got In
three days.-Indianapolis Journal"
WHAT makes the bicycle popular
with many, rich or poor, is that after
trying to ride on one they feel they
are better Off.-Philadelphia Times.
"OH, George! you careless creature;
here's another rent in your overcoat.
"Oh, darn the rent! I'll wear my
other coat this evening. "-Philadel-
phia Record.
SPARK - Why do trOlleymen on
electric cars wear rubber gloves?
Flash-Because they are not con-
ductOrs. -The Clothiers and Haber-
dashers' Weekly.
Miss DE VERE-I can trace my an
cestors back to the Reformation.
Juggins That's nothing. l can
trace back to ancestors beyond ref
ormation.
A CHICAGO woman was chloro-
formed and robbed at Fort Scott the
other night. Kansas always endeav-
Ors to make her visitors feel at home.
Kansas City Journal.
Il sEE," said one real estate dealer
to another, that you still have a va
can't house in your new row." Yes"
was the reply: lit is last, but not
lea sed. "-WashingtOn Star.
Boston GIRL-"Has our modern
culture penetrated to the far West?"
Chicago Girl-"You just ought to see
one of our bean bag sociables. -
Street s. Smiths Good News.
Mr.. RAPPID-"A woman has to live
a year in Chicago before she can get
a divorce" Mrs. De Smith-"Yes,
it comes high, but it's worth it,
Smith, Gray s. Co. S Monthly.
WHAT becomes of the messenger
boys? is the question going the
rounds. Some of them grow up to
be preachers, and are noted for their
slow delivery.-DetrOit Journal.
FOND MAMMA-"My son is study.
ing biology now" Mrs. Storker-
"Buyology? Oh, 1 wish my daughter
could study that: it might teach her
how to shop!"- Princeton Tiger.
MORRISON EssEx-I'm going to let
his wife know of his action with the
girls. Franklin Furniss-Are you
going to tell her? Morrison Essex
No, I'm going to tell my wife.-Puck.
Miss PLANE-1 think 1 would have
made a successful politician. Inever
forget a face. Miss Bute-WOuldn't
you be happier, dear, if you could
forget your own?-Indianapolis Jour-
nal
CHE had come for her in a buggy
and she objects to the turnout)-"You
are very particular; you put on more
airs than q music-bOx." She-"Well,
don't go with a crank, anyway
Quips.
LAWYER Ito kicking client)-@Well,
have you at last decided to take my
advice and pay this bill Of mine?"
Client - "Y-e-s." Lawyer - Every
we'll: to clerk) John, add IS to Mr..
bill for further advice.
Puck.
YOUNG Mr.. Perkins Ito little Dolly,
who has just been shown of before