The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1893-04-18
THE HUMoRISTS.


troubie2" gesS-"He referred to her
poodle as ht"-TyHth.
81 suppose that's another case OF
angel cake" remarked St. Peter as
Johnny picked out his little halo and
passed down the corridor-Tynth.
Hopeful sbinstey-"What, as a man
of the world, do you consider the most
desperate form of gamblng2o The
Observation-Disclosures "-LGe.
"What do you think will be the big
gest thing you will see at the Worlds
Fair1" "My hotel-bill replied her hus.
band.-WdShington Star.
His capital impdired:-Thiysty tour
iSt-"Isn't fifty cents wather steep for
a lemonade?" Montana baytendey-
"Stecb! Nav! wy you went an ct
the lemonr'-Pnck.
Ed1om-"Wha's dat noise, Miss An
j'liner2 Hast stahted halin' ?" an
gelind--"Oh, no, Mistah Brockens;
dat's jus pepper eatin' watermiIlion on
der roofw-TrHth.
Wool-"How do you suppose Queen
LilluokaIani got her strange name?"
Van Pelt-"Her mother may have hit
on it by accident while learning the
typewriter.
didn't you find him just as l repre-.
sented hlm' Lady Indignantly
"No, sir; you said he was a Bird dog,
and he hasn't sung a note yet, and I've
had him two weeks. "-Ex.
Cholly-"Great Scott, old fellow.
what are you trying to raise a goatee
for'" Fweddy-"Tve got tiahd of be-
ing chucked undah the chin BY
mothahy old ladies, bah Jovew-Chi-
cago Tribune.
"The coffee is very cold this morn
ing, Mrs. Small" said the new boarder
to the landlady. "Mr. Hunker," said
the latter to the star boarder, "please
hand the cayenne pepper to Mr.. Fer
ris. "-Bazar
Algy-"Weginald, what did you say.
you know, when you were pwesented t.
the Pwince of Wales2" Reginald-"Why
deah boy, the first thing | did was to
apologize for the American wevou-
ton. Life.
Dusty Rhodes" Say, dere's a story
in de paper about a man what killed
all his folks, because dey wanted him to
go to work Weary Raggles-" Dat
was terrible !" Dusty Rhodes-"Ye-es:
dey oughter have knowed better.
Puck
Columbian Party at window
Say GIN me two Landings and
Discovery" Stamp clerk" Come,
talk sense What do you want ?"
Party at window" Amt yez on ?
CHM me two twos and a one. Say,
you're dead slow Puck.
A considerate man Rural relative
las he scrapes around in hob-nailed
boots on the highly polished hoor)-
By gum Them rugs is all fired
handsome, an | amt jay enough to 60
walkln' all over them with my hob-nail
boots-plain boards is good enough fer
me. Puck.
New York uncle Ito Boston boy)-
Jimmy, can you tell me who George
Washington was?" Jimmy Jagged seven)
Tut, tut, my dear sir! Is it possible
that New York and its environments
have become 50 Hibernicized that the
illustrious general has been relegated
to oblivion?"
Botherby- Have you seen Lord
Noodleby's American Notes?" Wip.
ley-"No; anything in 'emp" Bother
by-"Yes He's got the statistics Wag
giles gave him at the club that night
about the number of bottles of tooth
wash Philadelphians use on their mar
BILE door-steps every year.
"What a sense of exhilaraton a man
must feel when he walks into the White
House for the first time after his in
auguration and realizes that he is Pres
ident Of the United States. What do
you suppose man thinks about on his
first night there2' said Hawley. ellis
second term, replied Hicks. Life.
The parot-"Now, stop, George!
George, if you kiss me again, Ill call
mamma. Oh, GEORGE This may
not appear funny to the reader, neither
does it sound funny to John. John is
engaged to Mary. He also knows that
George" calls on Mary OCCASIONALLY,
Sin a purely Platonic sort Of way, you
know" )-Puck.
Women as fnanciers: First attendant
at church fair-"Here's a Turkish |
table-cover; the cost price on it is
marked twenty-five dollars. What shall
mark it to be sold f1r?" Second |
attendant-"Oh, how perfectly lovely. |
| have been wanting such one for
long time. Just mark it ten dollars, and
I'll buy it myself"
London has a new society" paper
called the Divorce Gazette. In a pre- |