The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-09-07
PuNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

-"Has Scrihble made anything QUE
Of his short stories?" "Yes." "Do
you know what?' "A fat failure. ~
Inter Ocean.
Tom Bachelor-"I wonder if there's
any truth in the idea that married men
live longer than unmarried?" Married
Host-''It seems longer.
f; TITS funny about bridal pairs.
They are not like other pears at ALL"
j"Why not?' They're softest when
they're green. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Irritable Traveler-"What time
does the next train go, agent?" Agent
Where are you going?" Traveller
That's none of your business. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
-"Well. Johnny, who carried off the
first prize at SCHOOL," JOHNNY did,"
What was it for?" Johnny-'Teacher
sent me cause Jimmy. the fellow that
won it, was too sick TO come after it."
Inter Ocean!
young Mr.. Van Braam." DuRane-
"Why?" "He does nothing but fiirt
with the girls" "Then you don't like
to see mans efforts all miss directed"
Pittsburgh hronicle-Telegraph
Very Bad Form. Bullion
made bad break to-day that society
can never forgive" She-"What did
he do? Eat his pie with knife? He
mo, he broke up. and won't be able
to pay one cent on the dollar. ~ Detroit
Free Press.
D. -. q. Ax-yA
peared in England during the reign Of
Edward III. The time when pockets
first disappeared is not known; but II
you think they have not disappeared
just endeavor to find one. - Boston
Transcript
Bright Anticipations.- Four-year-
old Tommy-"Are there any TELEGRAPH
wires in heaven%' Sunday-school
Teacher-"No, Tommy. They are not
needed there" Tommy (his face light
ing up)-Then if go there can fly a
kite all day, can't Ir'-Chicago Trib-
une.
Observation-Disclosures will you take
something's" Timkins Thanks, no;
I'm just going to dinner" Jenkins
"Well. take an apetizer?" Timkins-
"No, I've only got eighteen pence in
my pocket, and my appetite, as it is, is
rather more than that amount will
cover. "-Tit-Bits.
-Pigg speaking Of mutual friend
who is given to egotism)-''Did you
hear of the accident that has happened
to Brown? He has. boken his leg in
two places" Fogg-"You don't mean
it! 1t will be an awful pity if he
should die. If he RECEIVERS what con-
tinual source of pleasure it will be to
him to talk about it."-B oston Tran
script.
"A fly had fallen into the inkwell
of certain author who writes a very
bad and very inky hand. The writer's
little boy rescued the unhappy insect
and dropped him on piece of paper.
After watching him intently for a
while, he called to his mother and re-
quested her to come to him for minute.
Here's a ejercated fly, mamma" he
said "He writes just like papa
Harper's Bazaar.
What was de trouble at de pokah
party las night?" "Well yoh see, one
full oh bras buttons. De banker says:
All de res OBJ de checks is rubber but
TONS De oddah Teller answers i'm
back, Il can't help it. Well says de
banker, de financial stringency am
sech dat yo'll hab ter get desc checks
certified An den de trouble COM
Observation-Disclosures Star.
-"An acquaintance of mine with
whom | walked up town to-day" said
a New York citizen, thinks he can
tell by the appearance of a business
wagon as far off as he can see it the
particular use to which it is devoted.
Now, that he said, calling attention to
covered wagon half block away,
but coming towards us, 'Pll bet big
cigar is made to carry dressed beef in;
you'll see dealer's'sign painted on it,
He didn't guess right, but he came so
near to it that didn't think it would be
any fun to smoke his cigar, and didn't
take it; when the wagon passed us we
saw painted on the side of it not beef
but beer"