Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-04-20
HUMOR OF THE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd, Curious, and Laughablo
Phases of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed by Eminent Word Artists Of
Our Own Day.
Tea-Table Talk.

COME pcOplc SpCdh UWlCC dU iCdSU
before they think.-Galveston News.
WHEN woman is trying to write
letter on half sheet Of paper,
much may be said on both Sides
Texas Siftings.
"IT's funny about Jags; he never
Il suppose it's because it's so strong
he can't. Inter Ocean.
UPToN-"De Curb's failure is a
pretty bad one, isn't it?" Downton--
"N-o, not so bad. He's got his win
ter coal in. New York Weekly.
TEACHER "Tommy Toughboy, for
what is Christopher Columbus distin-
man t. git onto dis country. Elk
change.
DON'T wait for me, said the boots
to the beaver hat. why not?" asked
the hat. Because it is your business
to go on head" returned the boots
Truth.
"HALLo, Vanderloin, some of your
people coming on this train?" "Y es;
| am expecting a sister OF mine. F."
SISTER, Ell? BY birth or refusal?"-
New York World.
MoTHER-"My dear, you'll have to
chop some wood and bring up the
COAL" Father-"Where is son John?"
Mother-"He's gone to the athletic
club. Good News.
"PooR JACK! he never could spell,
and it runined him." How" "He
wrote a verse to an heiress he was in
love with, and he wrote honey for
bonny."- Harper's Bazaar.
A-HELLo, old chap! Congratula-
tions! hear you have married lady
with an independent fortune? b
No; I married fortune with an in
dependent lady.-Vogue.
WHIFFLER-"They tell me Sharp
leigh made his entire fortune in less
than a week. How did he do it?"
Staples "Cornered the Boston spec
tacle market Troy Press.
odd you ever notice that some
men seem happiest when they are
most in debt?" eyes. Their credit
gets so bad that they can't even Dor
row trouble Washington Star.
"YoU say your daughter plays by
carp" said the minister. EYES," re-
piled the mother, proudly. excuse
but-er-is your daughter at all
hard of hearing?"- Washington Star.
TRAVELLER "Do you think the
lynch-law you have here decreases the
number of murders?" Native-"W Wall,
[ dunno; but it decreases the number
of murderers New York Weekly.
SHE (hotly)-"Why do men always
lie to women?" He (cyncally-
"Well, the women always insist on
complimentary things being said to
them, don't they?"-Detroit Free
Press.
Bosom FRIENDS. do you
say to the young barrister making me
an offer of marriage?" "Just as /
expected! When l Tilted him he swore
he would do himself an injury!"-s
Plauderecke.
"I'M going to be postman when (
grow up" said Bob, who had BEEN
chided by his father for whistling-
''Then I can go around ringing front
! door bells and whistling all / please.
-Harper's Bazaar.
MoTHER-My daughter, Pm aston
| ished at your conduct with that gen.
| tleman I distinctly heard you kiss
him twice OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, ma
| You know very we'll the conservatory
has an echo.-Life.
FLOOR WALKER - "GOod morning!
You wish to do some shopping, /
presume?" Bride-"Y-e-s." Floor
walker-"Step into the smoking-room
and the boy there will give you a
check for your husband. New York
Weekly.
CoFFsoN-I don see why we can't
find policeman occasionally in this
neighborhood when we want him.
Coles-Hum; are you bothered by the
| saloons? Saloons? There isn't one
within a mile Of us. " well, that's
Why Chicago Tribune.
OLD FRIEND Gust returned)-"Your
engagement with Miss Prettle is off,
| see" Billton-"Off?" Old Friend!
-"Why, yes. She just passed and
scarcely deigned you look" Bill
ton-"Oh, that's it? We are mar
ried New York Weekly.
LITTLE BoY-"What's all those
women here for?' Little Girl
They've been upstairs to see the.
baby" Little Boy-"Babies is plenty
'nough" Little Girl-"Yes, but it is
real new one and l guess they
wants TO see the style. Good News.
aMR. GINGHAM" said Taper, 81
would like fortnight's absence to,
attend the wedding Of a very dear
| friend" 1T must be very dear
friend, indeed. to make you want
that much time. Who is it?" well,
sir. after the ceremony she will be,
my wife. "-Tit-Bits.