New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-02-13

water everywhere except in the vicinity OF tic Cicso.
River.
Not Great Man. "-Indignant Manager-sae hou.
Sprlggs, you have got To get some new gags Ths
audience will never stand them mOuldy chesnu,s 80 10
are given ;cm. You might well understand rgss
now that you amt neither Senator nor bishes n'
See !-(IndianapoliS Journal
ODE TO THE wORKINGMAN.
Poets may aid thee In their dulcet strains,
Inventors aid thee with their magic brains
rhIanthropsts 1--we thee In their massive heart.
Merchants vend cheap to thee at their great marts
Good women pity thee in thy hard toll.
Nature yield up to thee fruits Of her soil,
But swecter than all od,s that sympathy sings
Is the owed thy employer on each pay day brncs
The Meancst Citizens Chance-Opiim-A America 4,
good enough for mc-a country where every rght
Is given to the meanest citizen
PeSsim-Ycs, indeed. The meaner he Is the mora
he makes.-(lndianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Crusticus-I will tell you about that when
you are In a good humor.
Crustcus-Am / to understand, madam, that you
will never tell met
Father writes to schoolmaser: " / desire that Won
give my boy, Johnny, sound thrashng whenever no
ml,behaves himself or negects his lessons. You may
rest assured that l Will be- ready TO return you The
compliment at any tlmc.'-(Flegendc Batter.
Kate Fields Washington tells OF a little girl who
prayed thus with herself: 90 Lord. 'spose you
don't let 'em learn any bad habits from the heathen
An Earnest Efort-Mrs. Lanouveau-Do you believe
that society women are sincere
Mr.. Richcs-SJmetimes they are.
Mrs. LanOuveau-Whenl
Mr.. Rlchos-They are always sincere when they are
trying to mattel silks at IA dry goods cOunter.Chcaso
News Record.
In order TO show that not idle Q
woman. In "The Washington STAR gives tie follow
ing record OF her work for year Number Of
lunches put up, 1l57; meals ordered $685. desserts
made 1872; lamps filed. 32S rooms busted. .,e5s;
times dressed children, 1856 visits received. $40;
visits paid. 167 books read. IS; papers read. 553:
stories read aloud. pa games played 800 chura
services attended. I25: articles mended. 1895; ar.
tIces Of clothing made. 12O fancy articles made.
SO: letters written. 420 hours in music 20 IL;
hours I'm sunday school work. eos. hours in garden
ing. 40: sick DAYS. a; amusements attended 10.
Besides this she nursed the two children through
measles cleaned house twice. put up seyentyhve lan
OF pickles and preserves. made seven trips 10 the
dentist dyed Easter eggs. polished silver and spent
seven days in helping to nurse sick friend.
Butcher. angry to tramp-H there ,or wSerf ass
you going with that steak! Tramp ionly-l Dc
long, sir to the great and gorou; DeOcrau, ss S',y
raw material should be free. nave 80 Inv M,s;
-(HOme Market Bulletin.
are well clothed 700 100000 only partly clothed.
and $50 900 900 90 entirely naked.
Tastes Too Luxurious. Passenger lin the crowcd
street carl-ITold on conductor. There's room f9
another passenger in here. $3.50 , ~.
Conductor with scornD-Room Who SAD anytmnk
about room Just shove along there and let him u.
What do you want for "a nickel anyway '-cmeas0
News Record.
The present Archbishop OF Cologne Is the son OF .
butcher. The father Of his predecessor. CardlnA
Geissel was 4 vintager aud lis mother was
washer woman The Archbishop OF Po>en Is The SOB
M \ shoemaker The Prince Bishop Of Breslau comes
of a family of wcavers. The bishops OF s'rasous
and Muenser We're poor peasant boys. ana u'
Archbishop OF Olmuz is the son OF o tenant iarme"
A Vocation.-The Vicar-Oh that's your boy,
Smthers And what's he going 10 be snO"
maker. Ike YOURSELF - ,.. ~
-mlthers-Oh, no! sir: Hes uncommon 10. iO.u him
animals YOU see: 80 we're thinking Of making nm
Il butcher.-tPrlnch.
The newspapers OF santa Clara Mexico, report ns
recent death Of sonora Dolores Machado. OF Mleuol'
who resided at ouemado. Ililario. She had at'alne
her 18th year: and she left fourteen children MY
On, grandchildren 100 great grandchildren and orv'
eight great great grandchildren Her Oldest dausH'"
is 1Ol years old.
"Do you believe man is made OF dust. MI snip
Not all Of them.r said the tailor. Dust avn
settles. and | know men who DO moi. '-liia'P'''
Iazar.