The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1893-11-24
VARIETIES.

do you shave at the BARRIERS ~
No" 'Ah, shave yourself, eh?''
mo" How then ~ 1.-The barber
shaves me ~
The greatest courage is to bear
persecution, not to answer when you
are reviled, and when a wrong has
been done to forgive.
Il can't find where that plumber
did anything to this heater" "Neith-
err could l. | told the man, but he
said we'd certainly find it in the bill"
Hell like the room, and perhaps
I'll hire it, but l hope no one in the
house plays the piano." Landlady-
'Only my youngest daughter and she
is only just beginning
81 do not have to lie; | am not
afraid of anybody" said a boy when
falsely accused of something which he
had not done. 1t is a great thing for
man or boy to so live that he does
not have to lie.
Little Sallie had very much en-
| ioyed the celebration of her birthday
anniversary I'm awful sorry for
you,n she said to her elder-very much
elder-sister. ''Why?" Because
you never have birthdays any more.n
The proprietor of forge, not re-
markable for his correctness of Ian
guage, but who by honest industry
| had realized comfortable indepen-
dence, being called on at a social meet
ing for toast, gave, Success to for
! gerry "
| "A lecturer was dilating upon the
powers OF the magnet, defying any
/ one to show or name any thing sur
| passing its powers. A nearer demur-
red, ami instanced a lady, who, when
young, used to attract him thirteen
miles every Sunday
-''So,'' said the sight-seer, that
was put up by the mound builders -
Yes And it's there yet ~ Won
! derful. isn't it - u should say So
l tell you, they must have had a
building inspector who amounted to
something in those days"
Burglar (rousing the sleeping head
of the family)-"Don't move, or I'll
shoot Where's your money hid ~
Head of the family, struck by the
bright thought)-''1t's in the pocket
of my wife's dress" Burglar-"That's
all right. I'll just take the Dress
Thanks"
! The day was a warm one, and the
gentleman from Kentucky was com
| ing up from the spring at the foot of
| the hill with bucket in his hand.
"Ah, Colonel inquired an Ohio visi-
| tor sitting on the porch, "have you
something to drink in that pail p
"Oh no." responded the colonel, Its
water
"A professor lecturing: "In con-
cIusion. ! would instance mental aber-
ration-a mania to which the learned
are frequently subject. and occasional
ly make themselves ridiculous with
out knowing it." after saying which
the professor took, instead of his hat,
the lamp-shade off the bracket, put it
on his head, and walked QUIT
japanese children-so says the
London SpectatOr-are happy and
light-hearted. In Toxic one scarcely
ever hears child's cry. The reasons
assigned for this fact are that the
clothing of children in Japan is loose
and comfortable; that they are much
in the open air and sunshine; the fur
nishing of Japanese houses is suited
to the comfort of children they are pet
ted, but not capriciously INDUCED; and
their elders enter into sympathy with
them strongly. Americans might
| study these causes OF cnlluren Hap
piness to good purpose.
Ask Il friend to put down four fig
ures, which you are not supposed to
see. Let him add these up and sub
tract the sum from the original fig
ures. Then let him strike out any
figure in the result and tell you the
sum of the remaining figures. You
can instantly tell him what figure he
II. H., Iii
easy and depends on the esoteric
qualities of 8. He puts down, say
| TABS. Add up these figures-21, which
subtract and get Z, 407. Cross out, say,
!. This leaves the sum of the remain
ing figures II, which he announces
Mentally substract II from the next
! highest multiple of 9, which is Is, and
you get Z, which was the figure cross
ed out.