Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1893-08-17
THE LowLY SCOTCH.
Their Peculiar Characteristics-Two Funny
Stories.
[E. L. wakeman, in N. o. Times.l


Stories.
[E. L. Wakeman, in N. o. Times.l
wish to record conclusion from ex-
tended observation in favor of the lowly
women of Scotland. We have all read
much in books, and the prints where
names are not often enough signed to
sweeping generalizations regarding for
eign peoples, to the effect that lOwly
women Of town and cities are all wofully
addicted to drink. l do not believe it.
They drink, but neither do all nor
even any important percentage indulge
In liquor at all. Those who do, often get
"cheery," and no doubt they would be
better Off without it. But have never
seen Scotch woman, high or low, in or
out of Scotland, even in the most wretch
ed wynds and closes of Edinburgh or
Glasgow, approaching that emphatic
condition termed "fghting drunk"
So, too, am inclined to believe that
the drinking prowess of Scotchmen has
been greatly exaggerated. Scotch liter
ature, especially that portion giving eX-
preston to Scotch lite and customs of a
century ago, is certainly full of the hu-
NOR and pathos of drunkenness. Per-
haps Scotchmen were drinkers of valor
then; but there is nota more moderate
and we'll ordered people to-day. The
old drinking bouts of the clan chiefs and
later, of the small nobility and country
notables, are no more. From the great
st. Andrew feats down through the
countless grades Of social festival and
cheer 10 the simple heart lightenings of
the fisher folk, beside the wild sea-lochs,
who were once almost savage in their
thirst for strong drink, guzzling and
drunkenness are almost unknown. "Tay"
and oceans of this-"the cup that
cheers but not inebriates" has almost
universally displaced the fiery usquebagh
of old.
If fondness for liquor fingers in Scot
land as class popularity, it still holds
among those sschildren of the mist"
those impetuous, canny, though ever
winsome Highlanders of the north. In
my wanderings among them l have found
one curious characteristic. They are
born religious disputants. Warm up the
cookies of their hearts with drop of
peat whiskey, and they are masters of
polemics. 1t is then that they stoutly
asserts that Adam spoke Gaelic and that
the Bible was originally written in Gael
lc. AS a Highland clergyman of Strath-
glass once told me: ''One glass makes
them doctrinal enthusiasts: two sets
them expounding every point upon Jus
tification,' adoption and 'sanctification'
in an ecstacy of argumentative frenzy;
and, l sometimes think, with another,
they would stop on their way into heav-
en- and hotly engage st. Peter himself"
Many anecdotes are still related in the
north of Scotland concerning the drink
ing habits OF the Highlanders. One old
shepherd of Glen Affric fell ill and was
cut down by his physician to an allow
ance Of whiskey per day, on pain of
death if this should be exceeded. Wholly
ignorant of the exact quantity, yet rum
whimpering over his misfor-
une, he stealthily called his grandson to
lis bedside and asked:
"Bobby, dye kenyer tables, noo?"
"Ay, gran'fay'r n try me then?"
.HOo mickie be twa oonces, noo?'
iva oonces 2twa oonces! Hoot Sax
cen drachms max tn oonce; sex
silva times saxteen drams tn day!"
houted the sick man uproarously. .'rhe
Lord be praised for sic a ceeTil dochter !"
Another Highlander had been brought
o his deathbed from exposure and hard
Thinking. His fearful family and the
minister stood by his bedside praying for
'ome token Of repentance in his last mo-
nents. The minister noticing a strange |
light in his eyes bent over him and eager
y required:
SANDY, Sandy, what is the greatest
wish of your soul?''
''For MIGHTY Loeb Lommond of
The minister was staggered, but al
most pitifully continued his entreaty
with, "But what is the second? Oh,
mon, mon, remember eternity!
"Oh, ay, guild meenister," gasped San
iy family; decentralization Lom-
mond-o'-whuskey!