The Opelousas courier., 1893-06-17
M OF THE DAY

life.
A hollow mockery~-The woodland
echo.-Truth.
A force pump-The cross-examining
sttorney.-Truth.
A linn of the Jaw-Painting the de-
PENDANT black.-Truth.
It is only in school that low grades
make uphill work .-Chicsgo Inter
Ocean.
Nature covers herself with a plaster
of mud to cure that tired feeling in the
spring.-Pack.
Some men ale too mean to be happy
and others too happy to be mean.
Dansvflle IN. w. Breeze.
"Who is to be chaperon!" "Mrs.
Talk1ngton." "What foolishness! Why,
she is a sufferer from insomnia"
HI wonder why she gave him the nit
tenn" "Oh, that was natural outcome
of the yarns he gave her!"-Trutb.
When a man is sbeside himself he
generally demonstrates that he doesn't
like the company.-Boston Courier.
When a woman is trying to write a
letter on a half sheet of paper, much
NAV be said on both sides.-Texas Slft-
ings.
If a woman can succeed in making
| her husband proud of her she can get
almost anything she wants. Dallas
News.
A carpet tack is about the only thing
! that has the "big head" and still makes
a success OF life.-Dansville IN. "
Breeze.
Where's the profit when spring makes
us happy and gay if it make al the
microbes feel just the same way2-
Washington Star.
The woman of limited means who is
always we'll dressed either devotes her
entire income or her entire intellect to
her clothes.-Life.
Mabel-"I wouldn't marry the best
man in the world" Jacques-"Alas,
you have made me tie unhappiest OF
men."-Boston Courier.
Every man thinks that modesty for
bids his telling you what he considers
the cleverest thing in tie way of a story
ever tofd.-Washington Star.
Many a woman who resolves when
she is married to make over her husbanf{
ends by being content to make v e h4
bonnets.-Dansvllle IN. W Breeze.
And now with rod and line and hook
The fisherman so bold,
Will so and sit down by the brook
And catch a fearful cold.
Kansas City Journal.
81 haven't any Of the liquid quality
that musicians talk about" said the base
drum, ''but l can drown out the rest OF
the band, just the same. "-Washingtor
Star.
Mrs. Byer-"Those are nice looking
eggs" Grocer enthusiastically -"Yesy
indeed; they're birds!" And then he
wondered why she didn't buy ANY,
Troy Press.
t'It's curious" unused Bjorkins, show
this law of compensation runs through
everything. For example, wherever
there is a we'll off aunt you will always
find a sychophant. Chicago Tribune.
$50 I should make you very happyby
accepting you, ~count2" "Happy8 All,
mademoiselle, I should die wiz zie hap
piness." "Really, counta You almost
tempt me to say 'Yes'"-Brooklyn Life.
The pen is mightier than the sword,
This maxim let Wise people hurl,
But take them together and they are no
For one pretty typewriter girl.
Chicago Inter- Ocean.
At a Dinner Party: Mistress-sBut,
Mary, how often nust 1 tell you always
to serve Oh the left2" Mary (from the
country)-'Oh, madam, but isn't that
merely asuperstition. "-Fligende Blaet.
ter.
"Well, Councillor, I hops you en-
joyed yourself at my house last evening"
s'Indeed I did, madame. As a RUE,
when I drink tea l can not sleep after it,
but your tea had not the least effect on
me" -Fliegende Blaetter.
Hawker-"My wife and / had it out
again this morning as to who should start
the fire." Jepson-"Which won2"
Hawker-tNeirher. Before we finished
the argument became SO hot my wife got
up and cooked breakfast on it."-Troy
Press.
Mrs. Grey2eck-etso George is en-.
gaged" Mrs. Tangletongue -"Yes;
he'll be married in june" Mrs. Grey
neck-''I hope he has a young lady in
every way worthy of him." Mrs. Tangle-
tongue-''Oh, yes; l think I can safely
say that l am satisfied in every way with
his fasco. boston Courier.