Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1893-09-21
PlTH AND POINT.

: -
When the goat tackled the can Oh
dynamite, you ought to have seen the
butter fly.
Every time wise man makes a
mistake it teaches him something
Rams Horn.
DO not put of upon others advice
that you are unable to keep for your
own use. Galveston News.
The individual who does things &C
cording to his own sweet will generally
has very sour won't-Puck.
The great difficulty about common
sense is that it is SO tremendously
scarce that it isn't common.-Texas
Siftings.
IF I should ask you to lend me
five pounds, what would happen?''
Prospective Victim (tersely)-..O noth-
ing."-Tit-Bits.
Man generally falls because he is
an egotistical fool; and the woman who
falls is the one that has believed in him.
Rest Islander.
Perpetual pushing and assurance
put difficulty out of counrenanee,a and
make q seeming impossibility give
way.-Jeremy Collier.
He from New York)-"Was it you
I heard singing after the Bali this
EVENING"" She from Philadelphia
''After what ball?"-Life.
There's curious state of things
in our church choir" what is it?"
1.-THE members are all at peace with
each other. IN. Y. Press.
Brown has the job he was after
plenty of light work" whats he do
ing?" Attending motors at the cleo
trio plant Atlanta Constitution.
Now, Walter, what did you say
to Mr.. Benton for the nice peaches he
sent you?" Walter-'I said wish he'd
send free stones next time."-Inter-
Ocean.
You can't always tell by listening
to man while he prays at Friday
evening meeting just what he will do
in horse trade Saturday afternoon
Somerville Journal.
The Debutante (aside)-"How
MANY verses shall sing?" The Pro-
tessor-''Do you want an encore?" The
Debutante-"Of course The Profess
sor-''One. Boston Budget.
Very overwhelmingly
say you presented Squib. the humorist,
with cane?" Bill-"Yes." Will
What kind of wood was it made OFF"
Bill-"Chestnut." Blade.
-Double-Leaded- You're nice
type of man." said Jones, as he
plugged the burglar with couple of
balls. "Double-leaded type" said the
ovpirsro. <br~ ri, IT,,
Mistaken ess.-Jack-''He1lo,
old man! Awfully glad to see you.
Here. take off that coat and put on this
smoking jacket and make yourself COM
Portable" Dick-"Deuce take it! Do
you mean to insinuate that don't feel
comfortable in dress suit?'-Truth.
-Mandy-"Here, Josiah, is drug
store; now let us go in an get them
souvenir spoons we've read so much
about" Josiah-'Gracious. Mandy,
you won't find 'em here, will your"
Mandy-''Josiah. / know what I'm
dom; didn't see in a paper that they
was drug in the market?"
-Artless Tommy. = Tommy-"Say,
Mr.. Yabsley, sister Laura said at the
table this morning that she thought
you AnA PACGttCSo AAuStbSAS ShG
ever saw" Yabsley-''You oughtn't
to tell things you hear at the table,
Tommy" Tommy-''But she is going
to give me a dime for telling you."-
Indianapolis Journal.
The Fizzletop children were play
ing with their toys. Johnny, you are
spelling the whole game. You are tho
biggest donkey ever saw" said little
Mamie. Colonel Fizzletop (reproving-
ly)-"Why. Mamie, I am surprised"
Mamie (indignantly)-"Why, pa,
didn't mean you. You amt the big.
gest donkey ever saw!'
-Lawyer-''And now please state
the remainder of the conversation be-
tween you and the defendant" Wit
ness-'I do not remember it. sir" The
substance of it escapes me-" Lawyer
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES mind the sub
stance of it. Tell US the words, and
fancy the jury will have the intelli-
gence to get at the substance"
per's Bazaar.
HAD A SHINE ALL AROUND.