davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
Our great offering of Printed
TWiLLED INDIA SILKS
FOR SO CENTS

IS counterpart of the first. They are
held elsewhere, in precisely the same
quality and in Electrically the same styles,
for one dollar. IFS not true that these
are in any respect mfeHor--they are ths
same.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
LOUiSiNE SIX CHECKS

In iovey co'ori1gs, Or handsome strips
TAFFETA SILKS in om5Fe effects, worth
not Tess than dollar yard, for FIFTY
NINE cEHTS. You wW really be SIR
priseJ wien you see those Silks. None
think of them as worth less than q dollar.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13

You owe It altogether to US that you
can buy Z. z. corsets less than So. This
was the price until we aHnounce5 them
at 50. AID the price would be Immedi-
nfe'y restored to So If ne did not con-
Hnue them at 50. It is because the pub
lie perceive these things our co ner on
Sixth and Robert has become the center
of attraction to al vino want reliable
goods at low prices.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
3S-INcH
33-McH
SPRING TWEEDS IN
HOP SAcKINe

And Diagonal Weaves for 25c a yar5.
This is another of the sensational bar
gains that bring the buyers to Sixth
street.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
WAS DOODLE USED :?
The Opening Testimony in
the Markham Case Very
Damaging.
Witness Swears He Thought
Markham Wanted -
Money.
His Square Offer to Secure q
Favorable Report for
$1,000.
The Statement That the Other
Side Had Put UP
$4,000.

The Doodle committee was the name
given TO the committe Investigating the
reports of corrupt methods that have
been in circulation derogatory to Repre-
sentative Joseph Markham. The CON-
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13

We are headquarters OF c3rsats in
these cities. If you want the Finest
french CorSets, we car s50w you the
DOM 4" and the "FdsSo," the best in
the world. We are sole agents for "Her
Majesty s." the only absolutely ua6reak-
able corsets in tie market.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
COFFEE.

AS our "French Mixture" becomes
better known, more and more people
ask for it. % cents per Id.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13

Fortunately the consignment of The
"Special" Sun-Dried Japan was heavy
one. Imported to sell for 60 cents per
pound, it's going out here at 35 cents;
3 lbs for 81. A better moneys worth
never was weighed on our tea scales.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13

Umbrellas, MacintOshes and Rub
bers. ~
All frst-class and at plymouth"
prices. Plymouth Clothing House, cor
ner Seventh and Robert.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13

Hoods pills cure liver ills constipation.
billousnes., jaundice, sick headache, indi-
gestion.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
UMBRELLAS.

We will sell a lot of "a
inch black Silk Umbrellas,
metal and natural wood
handles, for $500.
And a lot of 26-inch black
Silk Umbrellas, with cases,
natural wood handles, for
$1.25.
These were made spe-
cially for our best city trade
and ought to sell for con-
siderably more.
Mail orders get the best
of everything.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
ORANGES.
TEA.

Fancy Riverside. per dozen 80. ...1Oc
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-13
New Life Came
Hoods SarsapariIIa

would now be in my grave. 1 cannot speak
too highly of Hoods Sarsaparilla.' MRS
LIZZIE SMITH. Wellsvllle. Allegheny Co. \. Y
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
"sAM DoNKEEs BE- HANGED"

My name is Carter. spell it with G.
! live in Darby county, this state. My OBJ
ject is to see if you are Sam Donkcrs."
Sam Donkers be hangedi / never heard
of him in all my life, and haven't been in
Darby county in II dozen years."
Didn't you sell fannin mills."
mo, STRIP
Didn't you use to stop at my houses
Not by long shot"
And you didn't run away with my wife
Eliza the 10Th of July year ago."
You blamed fool!' shouted the big man
as he seized him and slammed him around,
but what sort of n game are you trying to
work ON me?"
Fire! Policcl Lemme go" yelled the
redheaded man.
Explain yourself before throw you out
of the window"
WAL, II fannin mill peddler named Sam
Donkcrs run off with my wife, and thort
you was the man. guess I'm mistaken"
II know you are. Now, sir, you sit down
and behave yourself, or / will not be re-
sponsible for results"
The rcdheaded man sat down and pinned
up the rips i'll his coat and smoothcd down
his hair and got his breath back. Then he
turned to me with:
DO you know him?"
mo"
IF it wasn't right here, I'd lick him! The
idea'of his being so mighty techy about
things! When II mans wife runs away,
hain't he got IL perfect right to ask about
her? Has an ole rhinosceros like him any
right to chokcme off? Even if he was Sam
Donkcrs, and I'll be gaul burned if don't
believe he is, all was going to do was to
ask if Eliza was well anL wanted the pair
OF calfskin shoes she left behind when she
dug out!'
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15

Qucstion-Would Tho Sun advise an engaged
couple to get married in these hard times.
Answer-If there be no other bar TO
the marriage than tho hardness of the
times, it ought not to be forbidden. Of
course the bachelor who desires to be-
come husband should be able to earn a
living or should otherwise have the
means of life at his command, SO that he
shall be able to provide for the woman
who is willing to become his wife. and
that thus the twain may enjoy welded
bliss without undue anxiety about the
morrow. We notice by the municipal
record of marriages that just about as
many people get married here in hard
times as i'll better times; when work is
slack and money tight rs when both arc
plentiful. We could not give advice in
an individual case like that which is pre-
sented to us, because we know nothing
about the parties, but we know that the
love which laughs at locksmiths can Of
ten act very boldly without ever having
cause to regret the action. We are not
prepared to say that tho engaged couple
should shrink from serious duty or
postpone tho day of wedlock merely be-
cause the times are not so good MS they
have been or as they will be after awhile.
New York Sun.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
This Happened In Chicago.

a little Chicago 5-year-old everything
happens i'll Chicago this summer) was,
according TO Il racontcur on suburban
piazza last week, at one time hidden by
her mother to be very good on certain
evening when the pastor and his wife
were to take tea with her parents.
You must not speak unless you are
spoken to; if you really want anything
You must ask for it very prettily and
properly" was the oft repeated injunc-
ton of the mother, and the child sat
down at the table with a crushing sense
of the importance of the occasion.
AS the meal progressed she found her
self i'll need of something. The minister
sat next her, and after due consideration
she decided tonppeal to him. "Mr. A. !"
she began, raising her grave blue eyes to
his face, will you please, for Christ's
sake, to pass ,ue the butter?"-New York
Times.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
Remarkable Cures by Faith.

AT the Christian alliance camp meet
ing nearly 200 persons personally testi-
ned to having been cured by faith,
and twice as many moro stood M
at the close of the meeting when their
leader, DR.. Simpson, asked all In the
audience who had been healed by divine
power to arise. Mrs. Welcome of Var
mouth was one of those who claimed TO
have been cured of lung disease without
the aid of physician. Mrs. W. NJ.
Davis of Benny Eagle had been relieved
of spinal trouble of long standing; Mrs.
Nj. j. Ames of Portland neuralgia of the
heart and pleurisy; Miss j. o. Thomp-
son OF Portland has been cured of q
tumor, and Miss Jennie NJ. Berwick of
the same city had seven teeth extracted
without suffering any pain. Mrs. F. c.
Clark of Tyngsboro, Mass, who suffered
paralysis of the optic nerve, which nearly
robbed her of her eyesight, was led to
the camp ground, became anointed and
her sight was restored. Mrs. c.. T. Uran
OF Lowell, Mass, was cured of an inter
nal cancer.
81. K. Smith of New Britain, Conn.
said that he had been cured of a cancer
without the aid of physician. Mrs, M.
>. Clark of New York gave testimony
that few years ago she fell in church
door and broke her wrist. Neither medi-
cine nor bandage was applied, but the
Lord united tho broken bones. Another
New York lady said she was thrown
from a carriage not long ago, and her
right ankle was dislocated. The Lord
set the dislocated bone. The Rev. A. S.
Orne of Haverhill, Mass, said that for
seven years he had employed no physi
clan in his family In that time one
child had been cured of the Group and
another of pneumonia without the useof
medicine. An infant had died, but MIR.
Orne declared that its death was due to
a broken heart.-Old Orchard Cor. New
York World.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15

They sat tEe table. three mea gay,
With the girl who never had learned TO play.
And their easy smiles were u sight to see
AS she said This is dreadfully new 10 me.
II know 1t is wicked TO gamble. but then
II Is better than talk to amiisc you men,"
And her look was blank as n virgin page
AS she said. Now, what is it. edge or ageI"
And her face was green as II vacant lot
AS she softly murmured: whats jack pot2
What is n flush and n straight? oh, dear,
I'm stupid, know, hut it's not quite clear"
And every man of the courteous crew
Instructed her dyslip what to do.
And she drew one card TO IL bobtaii flush,
With IL merry laugh and n pretty blush.
And of course She filled, for that is the way
OF girls who never have learned to play.
And she raised .hcm back with charming
pout
Till every man in the game was ont.
And she kept it up till they all went broke.
And laughed and said. What splendid jokev'
Then with faces sad and with hearts Of lead
Quickly away to their homes they sped.
And with one accord each player swore
That never again, no more, no more.
His hard earned wealth would he frittcr away
On girl who never had learned TO play.
It. NJ. in New York Sun.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15

lie SEIZED OUR RISING YOUNG HUMORIST
right here is q good place to give notice that
IHE KICKER has no use for funny man.
There are lots of funny things happening
around here, and most of our people enjoy
joke, but at tho same time We are set in
our ways. We shall now and then write
and publish something funny, but for three
or four days after the paper comes out we
shall have our two guns lying where they
can he grabbed ut u seconds notice The
joke may he l., ceiyed all right and bring in
several invitations to go out and take some
thing, or it may be received all wrong, and
result in half a dozen calls from parties
who shoot right and left handed
ONE on Us.-We had n telephone mes
sage from Clinch Valley last Tuesday to the
effect that the people of that town were GO
ing to hold public meeting on the subject
OF admitting Arizona TO statehood, and that
we were wanted one of the speakers.
We therefore gayly saddled our cayuse, put
our speech in our pocket and started out.
just as we were ready to go, the city clerk
sent over to borrow our office dictionary to
see how the word "eventuate" was spelled,
and in fooling around we forgot to strap
on our guns. We were two miles out of
town when we missed them, and then con.
Guided to trust to the speed of our mule in
stead of going back. 1t turned out to be a
very foolish conclusion on our part
we reached the crossing of Spike creek
without incident, but while ascending the
bank on the north side critter stepped out
from behind bush, lcveled two guns at
US and ordered us to get down We
held our arms above our head while he
turned our pockets wrong side out. We
had almost dollar in cash, but the avari-
cious critter was disappointed and indig-
nant and made some awful threats. We
tried to put in q Sc watch to him ut $50, but
he wouldn't have it. He was about to let
us OFF, when he came across that speech,
lie was one of the few men in this territory
who are opposed to admission, and of
course he wanted to make it rs hot as pos
sible for us. While he sat OH rock with q
gun in either hand and one Of our best
cigars in his mouth. we were compelled to
deliver the speech. He frequently inter
rupted us to call US liar and sooundrel,
but never to applaud.
The speech is timed for 20 minutes, and
the unfeeling scoundrel insisted ca our re-
peating it three times over. While he
thought he knew us as editor Of THE KICK
Err he wasn't quite sure, and it is needless
to say we lied about it and claimed to run
poker room. We returned home instead
of going to Clinch Valley. We have got
our affairs in shape to leave the office for
four or five days, and tomorrow we start
out. If that wretched apology for high
way robber is i'll Arizona. we mean to find
him. The dignity of journalism demands
that his scalp ornament our office looking
glass, and that his ears find their way into
the jar of alcohol wherein are preserved
various kindred relics.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15

pine yesterday, but here is something with.
out quilts omit, and all you We got to do is to
help yourself. Think we'll climbup there
and fill up on honey for change. There
may be n softer snap than this in Sycamore
county, but so L don't know where it isp'
CHAPTER H.
For convenience sake and to help along
the Bear, this Fable is subdivided. He
gave himself a shake to Timber up his
joints, sharpened his claws on n grindstone
which some careless farmer had left lying
around loose, and us he started up the tree
he chuckled to himself:
"I've heard the word 'cinch' a good MANY
times, but I've just got OH to its meaning
Mighty sharp i'll me to lift my eyes just as
l did. Nobody ever finds good thing by
looking down. Boost 'er up, old man,
there's glorious times aheadr'
CHAPTER III
You weren't there, of course, but you
ought to have been. 1t was n circus and
menagerie combined, with everybody
passed in free. When Bruin reached the
hole, he dropped paw into it to feel around
for the bill of fare. He found it, The Bees
came out after it to see what was wanted
in their line, and the business of the meet
ing was transacted with promptness and
dispatch. Bruin at first welcomed his as
sailants with sarcastic grin, but it wasn't
10 seconds before he was asking who
stabbed him with that pitchfork.
CHAPTER ".
A period of half an hour is supposed to
have elapsed. y Woodman who was pass
ing through the forest came upon Bear
who was rolling over and over ON the
ground and uttering the most dismal com
plants. Bruin had one eye closed, and
was covered from head to heels with Jumps
and knobs and knots
What cheer!" gayly cried the Woodman
as he drew nearer
"Bees!" moaned the Bear.
But Nature gave you n coat of fur to
protect you from the stings of Bees"
$50 she, did, answered the Bear, "but
she also made ME fool enough to want
honey just the same when l was shedding
my coat and every sting would lift me
foot high!'
MORAL.
None of us are ever satisfied with half a
loaf.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
Did Mr.. Kelly DO Right?

Did Mr.. John Kelly do the right thing,
or did he do the wrong thing, yet the
only thing possible under the circum-
stances? According to his story he was
dining in q restaurant with woman
when the latter complained of the too
manifest admiration of two elderly men
who sat at table near. Kelly was
about to demonstrate when, so he SAYS,
they got up and, on pretense of looking
at picture which hung over the table,
one of them addressed Il remark to his
companion. Mr.. Kelly smote the in
trnder between the eyes, breaking his
glasses. and was arrested. 1t is n repeti-
ton of Guy do Maupassants story of
THE Coward over again, except that
Mr.. Kelly was courageous. But what
was he to do? y cat may look at king.
says the proverb. Yet if the way of
looking was Objectionable, what was
Mr.. Kelly to dof-New York Evening
sun.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15

When DR.. Mary Walker discovered
that she had lost o scarfpin from her
necktie in Boston store the other day,
she made speech to those about her in
which she stated that whoever possessed
the pin would die suddenly within three
days. She evidently expected that the
thief would just tumble over himself in
his haste to give back the pin, but he
didn't. She is now reading the obituary
notices in the daily papers in the hope Of
finding his name among the list of the
dead.--New York Telegram.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
She Wanted to Know.

She boarded the train at q flag station
and took the seat ahead of me. and when
the conductor came for her ticket she mild
ly inquired:
Conductor, does this train ever run off
the track"
Hardly ever. maam," he replied as he
winked Mt me.
But it does sometmes?"
"Ees'm, sometimes
You don't know whether it will run off
today or nots"
mo, ma'aln. If we strike n cow, it prob
ably will"
About where might you strike COW, if
you strike one today?" she persisted.
We'll, pretty soon after we pass Black
River. ma'am," replied the official as he
went away with Il broad grin OH his face.
Black River was 20 miles down the road.
The woman sat very prim and erect until
we reached the town and left it. Then she
turned to me with:
wasn'tit?"
"Ycs'm"
And if we strike n COW it will be pretty
soon, won't it,"
That's what the conductor said"
Yes, and he ought to know. There's
COW out there now, and suppose we ought
to get ready for the accident"
She got brace for her feet, grabbed the
railing of her seat, and while the fat man
across the aisle and l were exchanging
winks and mods and flattering ourselves
that we knew II thing or two there was
bump, the front end of the coach reared up,
and next moment it lurched to the right
and went off the rails and slid down an en-
bankmcnt and brought up in marsh
There were rs Of us i'll that car, and every
single one except the woman in the seat
ahead suffered severe bruises or broken
bones The entire train went off, and there
were IL killed and about 80 seriously in
jured. The cause of the mishap was an old
spotted COW, which had got fast in cattle
guard. After we had been helped out by
way Of the windows, found the woman
calmly seated on the grass, and she was
just as calmly saying to IL weeping female
beside her;
II am sorry your are hurt. but you should
have asked the conductor where we were
going to strike IL COW and so have been pre-
pared for it," NJ. QUAD.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
SAVED FOR AN OBJECT.
He Was the Only Person Who Could Raise
Any Cash.

He Was tho Only Person Who Could Raise
Any Cnsh.
Good mawnin. sab, good mawnin!" he
saluted as he came up the hotel steps and
removed his hat and bowed very low IT
war Jest walkin round dis mawnin to sec
who was on dc Lawd's side"
How do you meant" asked
why, sab, our meetin house got bowed
away by II cyclone last month, an I'Ze col
lectin up to build anodder Yes, sab, cy-
clone dun took it right off de face of de
arth."
is this the first timer"
Yes, sah Dat meetin house dun es-
capped all de odter cyclones befo' dis"
Did you see the building go!''
81 did, sah. l was right tlar at de time,
brcss dc 1-awd! Dat was de moas' power
full sight yo cher did see i'll all yo' life 1t
was long i'll de AFTERNOON, sab. went ober
to de mcctin house to git my hymnbook
l was in lar when the cyclone riz up. She
cum mighty sudden, sab l heard a sorter
howl, like Il dawg fast in defense. Den
dar was Il ;;roaning, like somebody had
fell down stars an busted hissclf. Den
dar was a whoop, like as if eberybody in
town had got drunk an was prancin
around"
And then she struck"
She did, sab. Iknowed what was cum
in, kase PIE seed bout five cyclones in my
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
4 = - w Norfo|kaWestern RI

EDULE IN EFFECT SEPTEMBER 3, 1853
!. wEsrBoUND, LEAVE ROANOKE DAILY.
IN. m. Washington and Chattanooga limited)
ssor Bristol and beyond. Stops only at Chris
iansburg and Radford, also at principal
l'tations west OF Raoford. Pullman sleepers
10 New Orleans and Memphis Dining car
attached.
y, for Radford, Blueheld, Pocahontas,
3n.s oTn, Clinch Valley Division and Louis
p. NJ: THE CHICAGO EXPRESS for
isi9eaeld, Poeahontas. Kenoya, Columbus
id chicago. Pullman BUFFET Sleeper Norfolk
IL Chicago without change.
Ain AND HAsrBouND, LEAVE ROANOKE DAILY
IA. m. for Petersburg, Richmond and
a1,orfolk.
n. m. for Washington, Hagerssewn, Phila.
3elphia and New York.
III IN. for Richmond and Norfolk. Pullman
aleepor Rosnokc TO Norfolk and Lynchburg
Va Rict mond.
ia. m. (Washington and Chattanooga lin
Ned for Washington, Hagerstown, Philadel.
ma and New York. Pullman sleepers to
EsShington via Shenandoah Junction and
sHeey York via Harrisburg. Stops only ut
Sijciple stations.
3arl Division-Lcave Lynchburg Junior
n a3ion) daily 7:10 n. M. for South Boston and
3ufham and intermediate stations.
3fop-Salem DivisiOn-Leave Roanoke Union
8ati6n) daily 9:55 a. IN. for Rocky Mount,
taartinsville, Wtnston-Salom and interme
IA ate stations
G all additional inform alton apply Mt ticket
5>pr to w. B. BEVILL
s. General Passenger Agent, Roanoke, Va.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15

a Danbury Comm man has large
collection of snakes, including q pair of
African pythons, a male and female.
One day last week the female python
commenced to lay, and up to the present
time has deposited over 100 eggs. They
vary in size and shape, bnt on an aver
age are larger than goose eggs. 1t is
something unusual for pythons to lay
when in captivity. 1t is generally re-
puted that the only other instance re-
corded was i'll 1911, when python in
the Paris geological garden laid three
dozen Philadelphia Ledger.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
ode NEXT MINT IT WAS CLAIR ACROSS DE-
EIDDERn

Ode NEXT MINT IT WAS CLAIR ACROSS DE
EIDDER."
time. run around to de back cand of de
buildin an braced up agin it wild all my
might. but shOon'
ut went, did it.'
jest didn't mind me nohow, sah Do
cyclone picked dat meetin house right up
same as yo' would lift shingle, an de next
mint it was cl'ar across de ribber an all
smashed to squash"
And weren't you hurtf"
NO, sab. Nebber got n scratch"
How do you account for that?"
Providence, sah-jest Providence, sab.
/ was saved dat might collect up money
fur anoddcr meetin house"
"That's rather curious. If you had been
killed, somebody else could have collected.
couldn't they"
"Dey could, sab, but I'ze de only pusson
around yere who eber dun collected up a
dollar fur dc I.awd an turned in ober seb-
enty-five cents of It'll"
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
''0h, these
Advertisements
I'll Tire me-"

Some advertisements do have
that tendency, so do some
people and some books. But
bright people understand that
the advertising columns now.
a'days carry VALUABLE In
formation about things NEW
and GOOD. Things that
people for their own benefit
ought to know. One thing
that THE LADIES of Roa.
noke and vicinity ought to
know Is that at
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-15
An American Fable,

THE BEAR, THE BEES AND THE wooDMAN.
On n certain occasion, as Bruin was TAX
ing walk in the forest. he elevated his left
eye just in time to see number of bees
passing into hole in q tree about 20 feet
above the ground. His serene countenance
was instantly beautified by a grin of de-
light, and he sat up and pulled his ear and
whispered to himself: "Egad! old boy, but
luck has come your way this time! You
didn make much fooling with that Porcu-