The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-30
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JEsTs AND YARNS EY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
The Dear Girls-TaIked TIL Death
An E~levating infuence-No Help for
III -Patience Pays, Etc, Etc.

~ " -
In Patience Pays, Etc, Etc.
" DEAR GIRLS.
Molly patronizingly)-I had such a
splendid time at the dance last night.
Mr.. IIyhy took me, you know.
Eta (swectly)-YOu enjoyed it? How
glad | am, dearie, that | refused to 60
with him.
TALKE TILL DEATH.
Prof. Hunter-My last discovery
among the Indian mounds was three pet
rifed female figures in an upright posi-
ton, as if conversing.
ENTHUSIASTICALLY it was an afternoon
tea and they hadn't noticed anything
unusual.-lIIallo
An ELEvATISG INFLUENCE.
"Oh, is there nothing" exclaimed the
lady in the fur Jacket, that can uplift
our servant girlsF'
THE coal oil can" answered the lady
in the yellow buskin.- Chicago Tribune.
NO HELP FOR HIM..
$50 the poor fellow is doomed to an
early DEATH
How do you make that out2'
Didn't you say he lived by his witsI'
Harlem Life.
PATIENCE PAYS.
Little Miss Frecklcs-If Susie Stuck
up WAS as cross 10 me as she was to you
I'd get mad and not speak to her.
Little Miss Hugging-No, you
woul int, if you knew what know.
"What?'
"Shc's goin' 10 have a birthday party,
with we kinds Of ice cream and a whole
lot of lady fingers an fruit cakes."-
GOOD News.
COMPULSORY AFFECTION.
Aunt Jemima visiting We Tom
my, do you love your little baby brothcrl
Tommy-Yessum
Aunt Jemima-And Why do you love
little brother, Tommy?
Tommy-lt hurts less than getting
licked = Chicago Record.
now To SAVE MONEY.
Mrs. cale.Downic-I will have to get
another girl, though only temporarily,
perhaps "a month or 30.
Mr.. Scale Downe-Thrce dollars more
a week and board! What do YOU want
an extra girl for?
Mrs. Scalc-DOwnie-I have Just found
out how to make the loveliest little hang
ing cabinet You ever saw at n cost OF only
81; bat it will take me several weeks 10
do it. -INew York Weekly,
,H.,.r,,.,o,n
Have yez any shoes that will fit the
little girl? inquired a son of the Green
Isle OF a dappcr young clerk in a Wash
inCtOn street store the other day.
Yes, sir, was the reply; I'VE carry
a full line for children's wear. Step this
way, please. French kid"
mo, %begobs; she's .,rish ."-lBoston
Herald.
PLACING, BUT NOT NECESSARILY DULL.
"The man that Just passed doesn't
look rs if he was hard up
ale does not
"Yct his business is Away, tagging"
is that so! What business is he in?
ale is the signal man at the railroad
crossing. - New York Press.
AsININE.
Mr.. Callowhin-Do O like donkeys,
Miss Bunkcrhlli!
Miss B.-If YOU are about TO propose,
Mr.. Callowhill, please change the sub.
jet Halo.
\ T~ooTHLEss TALE.
They met an old. old Arab,
He was ~toothless, wriukled, gray!
They stopped him on the desert
And they asked of him the way.
He tried to tell them plainly,
In n voice almost "A croak,
But they couldn't understand him,
For gun Arabic he spoke.
- Detroit Free Press.
NOT C~oNCLusIrE EVIDENCE.
HAS Young Bondclipper proposed
yet ~ asked "A Harlem mother of one of
her numerous unmarried daughters.
''Not yet; but | think he is going to
pretty soon. There are some Pretty
strong indications. lie has got orange
blossoms on his mind
I'D like to Know why YOU think he
has orange blossoms on his mind"
w Htl w NtAN a l Nut NNNh NdNtl
fountain yesterday evening he took
orange phosphate. Texas Siltiugs.
EXPRESSIVE.
Teacher-What happened when the
man killed the goose that laid the golden
eggl
Dick Hicks-lljs goose was cooked,
- Brooklyn Life.
UNCLE JOSH DEFEATED.
Lawyer-Well, my young friend. your
Uncle Josh determined that you should
be a farmer. or get nothing from him.
He did not leave you a cent of money,
but he willed YOU his pillow, cultivator,
moving machine, thrasher, portable saw
mill. tone Crushcr, road scraper, and
stump puller.
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