The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-12-24
scHooLeoY FIREWORKS.
Somehow They Wouldn't Work Properly
aud tho Consequences Wcro Unplcnsant

somehow They Wouldn't Work Propcrly
and tho Consequences wcro Unpleasant.
have III my mind display of fire.
works given by myself when 12 years Of
age or less. DIR. Adam Norris. nv
schoolmaster in those DAYS. knowing
that L was past master in chemistry
and an adept at tho manufacture of col
Ored fire, directed mo to organize an
entertainment. The old gentleman is
gone now where there may or may not
be fireworks. but to his dying day he
never appreciated my efforts on his be-
half. 1t wos proposed to illuminate the
Fairgrounds with colored fires and Ian
terms, to invite the parents of tho 80
scholars and to regale them after the
display with cake and wine-I mean.
of course. the parents.
was lot off my evening lessons for
week and allowed the run of the
school laboratory. There 1 reveled in
preparations. Not content with mere
red, blue and yellow fires, 1 arranged
Catherine wheels and Roman candles
and rockets. 1 felt the instinct of a
Brock and Pain rising in me. even
asked DR.. Norris for additional money,
telling him that l had an idea for q
splendid novelty. He trusted me, tax
ing the word of our chemistry master
that l knew what l was doing. NV
novelty, which l kept as grand sur
prise, consisted of II set piece" with
tho words: God bless DR.. Adam Nor
ris.''
This benign wish would come out in
red fire and subsequently change to
green, if all went we'll. The night ar
rived and the company. The prelimi-
nary illumination was not entirely sue
cessful, as my assistants did not under
stand their business, but tho first Cath
crime wheel went around several times
and appeared to be we'll liked. Owing
to some unfortunate miscalculation with
tho materials, my rockets would not
soar. The spirit was willing; tho
chemical compound WAS weak. SO they
tore about the ground, like snakes, and
Missed III among the company. and ono
let or purple stars under the pctticoat
of lady. y solitary rocket really went
up a considerable distance, and the
stick fell through tho dollhouse of a
man next door, who had always been
unfriendly toward tho school pass by
wiz hON Nii ObilOOIl. IL SOuTcu I'LL
right, but | forgot to tic on tho mag
nesium light, SO nobody realized what
a fine thing was being DONE The Ro-
man candles passed off without adverse
comment, and then l lighted the "set
piece.
You will not believe what happened.
Nobody has ever credited the story,
though l have told it to thousands. The
facts, however, are these: Owing to
unforeseen circumstances, the first two
words of the display those asking God
to bless our good master-did not light
at all; the next word, Doctor, - fell off
altogether; the GA" in Adam also fail
ed, and the whole of our preceptor' g
surname, excepting the initial letter,
blew up. What was the result? Why,
against the black night, raised on sup
ports some 90 feet above tho heads Of
the bewildered assembly, there blazed
forth solitary colossal Dam N"
1t burned red, and then in silence
that could DO felt turned green. The
Damn" and l turned green together.
That ended the entertainment. People
never believe this story. Indeed at SO
great Il distance of time should be in
clined to doubt it myself but l cannot
forget the subsequent interview with my
dear old master in his study. We had a
little private display of fireworks all to
ourselves. Thus do most improbable
effects result from remote causes. Tho
Chinese by inventing fireworks wero do
ing thing which, after long genera
lions of time, rendered it impossible for
me to sit down with any comfort for a
week. -Idler.
Poisonous md HARMLESS Snnkes