The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1893-03-16

his way upstairs into the kitchen.
How In the world does Katie make .
fire without kindling?" he muttercd.
Finally he lighted lamp and went in
to the woodshed. "I'll split some
kinlling in jiffy," he said So say
ing, he chopped up a board and met
with no further mishap than TO injure
himself with flying splinter
AS he passed through the back yard
with the kindling he glanced toward
the cast. 81 wonder where is the god
of tlayP" he remarked Then he start
cd the fire in the kitchen stove and put
the kettle on. 1t was so dark that he
was obliged to keep the gas lighted.
Its funny the sun doesn't come up,"
he commented rs he drew his shiver-
ing form nearer the fire and watched
the tea-kettle, which was now emit
ting steam and whispering the while
one of its soft lullabies. Between the,
puffs, the kettle murmured: Wouldn't
you like to 60 to sleep-whoo, whoo-a
nice early morning nap-puff, puff-the
sweetest sleep Of all the night?-whoo,
whoo" While this rhythmic measure
was going on and he had nearly yield
ed to the influence, . bell rang out tho
hour. ''One--two-three." Then there
was silence. The other bells followed
and they all struck three times We're
the bells mad? Three o'clock? Inpos-
sible! Had not the alarm clock gone
off and had not the clock been set for
six o'clock? Then why should all the
bells strike three? We're they wrong9
Or, was it possible that the alarm
clock had gone off at two o'clock9 1t
was more reasonable to suppose that
the fault was with the alarm clock. He
had heard that they sometimes explod-
ed before their time. With many silent
blessings on the clock he silently stole
upstairs and crept into bed. Mean
while the kettle downstairs went right
on murmuring: "Whoo-whoo--he' go
ing to take his morning nap-pdff-
puff At the same time his wife whis-
pered: rs breakfast ready yet, love?"
mo" was the gruff response. Then
she sank into dreams and he followed
suit, his slumbers being broken by ex-
ploding alarm clocks and the flying
splintcrs of kindliug wood. Suddenly
there was loud pounding. He started
up just as another clock had gone of
In his dreams.
"What is that?" he exclaimed.
''It's the milkman, think, DEAR"
said his wife.
At the same time, in corroboration
of her statement, sonorous voice
arose from below:
"Mi-lk!"
why doesn't he como in the middle
Of the night?" growled the husband as
he arose and threw q blanket around
him.
my dear. you are not going down
like that? You will catch your death
Of ccld."
II don't care" he answered. desper.
ately. As he opened the back door the
wind blew In upon him and the snow
covered his bare feet He looked like
. bleached Indian chief Is he stood
there wrapped In his blanket. He
ooughed In funereal manner q he
was roughly greeted BY the wintry
blasta. The milkmar, who was Gov.
cred with snow and had icicles ON his
beard, regarded him in smasement
"Mornin,' he said.
"Never mind about exchanging any
civilities, my friend" returned the
other with chattering teeth. Just
pour out your milk"
Cant"
"Why notp"
TITS frozen. But I'u leave cylin-
drical chunk of ice in the Jar, and you
can thaw it ont" With that he clst.
tered his pals and disappeared whist
ling blithely as though life had no
cares The husband returned to the
kitchen with the cylindrical chunk Of
frozen milk, intending to melt it near
the fire. But to his CONSERVATION he
found that the fire had gone out. The
kettle was putting away despairingly,
singing very softly: ''Whoo-whoo--
you've got to build the Hre again
whoo-whoo - puff-puff--" and then,
after exulting moment the steam
suddenly ceased coming from the
spout. While setting and lighting the
hre once more, he soliloquized upon the
migratory propensity of servants and
told himself that the next girl they en-
ployed would have to sign a contract to
remain at least month. BY this time
he was getting quite warm with in
dignation, and, although the atmos-
phere was SO chilly indoors, he would
soon have been comfortable. He knelt
on the floor before the stove aud began
blowing at the fire, his temper not be-
ing improved by his Intellectual at.
tempts to fan the flame into promising
proportions. The flame wuvered, flut-
tered, looked as though it might be.
come a promising conHagration. and
then-went out. He wrapped his man
tie more closely around his form and
was about to give audible vent to his
feelings when he heard light voice
behind him:
"You had better go to bed, love, ana
allow me to make the fire."
1t was his wife, and there was u sus-
.sas~ -