The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1893-08-18

you hurt! Let me assist you,' and he
took two quick steps, and you have seen
these fellows in niger show that kick
each other head over heels and fall on
their ears and stand on their heads and
turn around ike top? The minister's
feet slipped, and the next saw he was
standing on his head in his hat, and his
legs were sort of wilted and fell limp by
his side, and he fell over on his stummick.
You talk about spreading the gospel in
heather lands! 1t is nothing to the way
you can spread it with two quarts of soft
soap. The minister didn't look pious
bit. When he was trying TO catch the
railing, he looked as though he wanted to
murder every man on earth, but it may
be he was tired.
"Well, Pa was paralyzed, and he and
the other deacon rushed out to pick up
the minister and The first old man, and
when they struck the step they went
kiting. PAS feet somehow slipped back
wards, and he turned a summersault
and struck full length on his back, and
one heel was across the minister's neck,
and he slid down the steps, and the other
deacon fell all over the other three, and
Pa sworc at them, and it was the worst
looking lot Of pious people / ever saw.
/ think if the minister had been in the
woods somewhere where nobody could
have heard him he would have used Ian
yuage. They all seemed mad at each
other. The hired girl told Ma there was
three tramps out on the sidewalk fight
-. H.. . 1. n
started to help Pa, and tried to stop Ma,
cause her constitution is not very strong,
and didn't want her to do any flying
trapeze bizness, but couldn't stop her,
and she went out with the broom and
towel tied around her head.
''Well, / don't know where ma did
strike, but when she came in she said
she had palpitation of the heart, but
that was not the place where she put the
arnica. Oh, but she did go through the
air like bullet through cheese, and
when she went down the steps a.bump-
ity bump felt sorry for Ma. The min
lister had got so he could set up on the
sidewalk, with his back against the lower
step, when Ma came sliding down, anl
minister in the hair, and the other foot
went right through between his arm and
his side, and the broom like to pushed his
teeth down his throat. But he was not
mad at Ma. AS soon as he see it was Ma
he said, Why, sister, the wicked stand
in slippery places, don't theyT and Ma
she was mad and said for him to let go
her stocking, and then Pa was mad. and
he said, Look here, you sky pilot, this
thing has gone far enough, and then apo
liceman came along. and first he thought
they were all drunk but he found they
were respectable, and he got chip and
scraped the soap off of them, and they
went home.
''Pa and Ma they got in the house soms
way, and just then the letter carrier
came along, but he didn't have any let
ters for US, and he didn't come onto the
steps, and then ] went up stairs and said,
Pa, don't you think it is real mean after
you and fixed the soap on the steps for
the letter carrier he didn't come on the
step at alp and Pa was scraping the soap
off his pants with q piece Of shingle, and
the hired girl was putting liniment on
Ma and heating it in for palpitation of
the heart, and Pa said, You dam idjut,
no more of this, or I'll maui the liver out
of you.' and l asked him if he didn't
think soft soap would help a mustache to
grow, and he picked up Mas work bas-
ket and threw it at my head as went
down stairs, and came over him. Don't
you think my Pa is unreasonable to get
mad at little joke that he planned him
self"
The grocery man said he didn't know,
and tho boy went out with pair of
skates over his shoulder, and the grocery
man is wondering what joke the boy will
play on him to get even for the cayenne