davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
THE STATISTICS FIeNp.


While on our earthly pilgrimage the world has
many woes for US.
We struggle on beneath our loads Of trouble,
care and pain
But the latest tribulation Is the man who 81.
ways goes for US
With documentary evidence-stati stics on the
brain
He'll tell within fraction the exact amount Of
coffee drunk
For thirteen generations back, in both the
hemispheresL
Whatever else you want TO know he'll gladly
bite you on chunk
OF tabulated knowledge that's enough 10
start the tears
He'll tell how many immigrants have ever come
To what extent srasshoppers have devoured
the windy west:
With figures he win demonstrate the tragedy
OF Eden;
Hen do anything you want him to. except to
take rest
He viii tell how many gravestones are exported
BY the nation.
How many pairs Of shoestrings. ana the
quantity of rum;
And hon figure IN jiny the oarth's total popu-
lstion
From tho time It was created to the day Of
Would you know how much tobacco is con-
sumed In every minute,
How maay yards Of calico 1t takes to closhe
the south!
Just esq tho ststistician, he win tell you he is
Tin IT."
He performs It with his pencil and proclaims
Is with his mouth.
He's daisy with statistics, and If you'd like TO
try for
A plan for sizing up the man who figures with
such vim,
Just set him down and count him one, add
cipher after cipher,
And b sure TO place tho ciphers ct the left
hand side of him.
He rams statistics down our threats. and we've
been meekly standing II
TIL the spirit of forbearance II becoming
rather weak;
There's got 10 be . turnover, the people are
demanding It,
For some one else occasionally must have
chance 70 speak.
The time viii come when men shall have sum-
GENTLY been goaded,
land tts prayer Of many victim Is that 1t
may quickly GOMEZ
When there1l Be an accidental case Of "didn't
know twas loaded"
And the Aend viii quit his figures In the mid
die Of . sum
North Adams Transcript
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
PuNoENT PARAGRAPHS


Mrs. Goodhash-"You are never
troubled with tramps. What do you do
that Keeps them awsyT' Mrs. New
cook-'I always give them . meal."-;
Inter Ocean.
Hated to Take Chances. Come,
Tommy, expect your uncle to-dsy.
and yea must have your face washed"
Eyes, MIA, but s'posen he don't Gomez"
Arkansas Traveller.
Ibid Bilkem leave anything when
he died?'' "Yes; his creditors. They're
the worst left lot you ever saw. "~-Buf-
falo Courier.
-Revivalist-ssf)ia they experience
religion?" Deacon-"Not as well IS !
expected; the rake-off only shows
s1L34."-N. Y. Times. r.
-'Have you had good time this
summer, Willie?' "Yes.'' replied the
young man. do you miss your school?'
mot much. But guess mother does"
Star.
Dreamy Novelist-''What a change
woman Gan make in a mans life!"
Victim Exactly, and what a lot OF
change she requires doing it:"--Chips-
First Traveler-"What Is yodr
busiilessT' Second Traveller (haught-
ily)-"I am gentleman, SIR" First
Observation-Disclosures, How long have
won been ont Of work?"--N. Y. Herald.
III was an awfulIv mean thing for
her 20 say. but peyertbeless, when
Chollie had observed that he wondered
how Is felt 10 l,s a donkey. she replied:
ssWRv. .Mf. Sammy. can't Won define
your ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Bazaar.
-Fred-"What do Won think Of nv
Wfl-"Sound-most GER
tainlv sound.n Fred-"And what
else?', Will-"Nothinp else-merelv
sound. n-Boston Globe.
The Wife-ssOf course. I can make
allowance for a little heat Of temper.
II isn't every man that can be master
OF himselfT The Husband-"No. IL he
has q wife. IN. Y. Press.
-sTed told me last night that I ttas
the only girl he had ever loved"
bah. he propoaed to me three months
ago. ..Now know what he meant
when he said there were some nm
pleasant incidents in his past life.
Inter Ocean.
Mr.. South-sTll buy some of those
new scarfs you SO much admire If you
refer me to somebody to tie the knot"
Miss North-s.Why don't YOU see our
pastor?"-Clothier and Haberdashers'
weekly.
-Teacher-ssTell me, Alfred, who
hals.ad Won In vour comnosition2, .,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

~ common sense injunction b too
ofteh th6eeaed. Business anxieties, over
work. exp0Stf6 must and do cause mental
and physical cxh3astson, which lessons
vigor and tells injurious1y upon the system.
tiyos, Hostetter's Stomach Bittcrs, effectual-
- compeusates for q drain of strength and
los Of nerve power, regulates impaired d
zestion, arOuses the dormant liver and
renders the bowels active. 1t is, besides, .
preventive Of malarial and rheumatic all
ments.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
German
Syrup

I Simply state that!I am Druggist
and Postmaster here and am there
fore in a position to judge. / have
tried many Cough Syrups but for
ten years past have found nothing
equal to Boschee's German Syrup.
l have given it to my baby for Group
with the most satisfactory results.
Every mother should have it. ]. H.
HOBBS, Druggist and Postmaster,
Mofats Texas. We present facts,
living facts. of to-day Boschee's
German Syrup gives strength to the
body. Take no substitute. q
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
" EvERYB0DY'S
Law BOOK, /"

j. ~ title Of the new ~ page BY J. Alexander
xoeaes. Lib. Member Of the New York Bar: IL en-
ah9e0 eveyy man and woman 70 be their own lawyer
q teacnea what your rights end how to maintain
them- when 70 begin . Law suit and when to shuI
one IL contains the useful information every bust
ness man needs IN every S1ats IN the Union II
tasns businese forms q e{ery variety u:eu To the
!ransaet lneIoss two dol srs for copy Or incloss
tsrus to agentS Address lslsNJ. ". HITCHCOCK
Pub1lehess oQ& ooxth AveAue. New TeFk.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
They Go to Heaven.

Black Sammy is noted boy in the
Sunday school Ais teacher was one
day trying to make the class see the
advantage of living a good life. The
moral remarks were occasioned by q
strong wad of chewed paper which hap
pened to strike the benevolent super
intendent on the cheek. Sammy was
evidently the culprit, although his
black skin showed no sign.
"Now, children, you must be better.
Such actions as those tend to drag you
downward, and if you do a bad deed
once the second time you do it more
easily. 1t does not pay to be bad, for
you cannot go to Heaven" Then Miss
Goode Strengthened her glasses and
looked into Sammy's shining eyes.
Sammy, what kind of boys go to
Heaven?'
Sammy shuffied his feet
dead boys" he said. - Boston
Budget
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

SwBAnsxo may give relief to overworked
feelings, but it doesn't bring back the ex-
cursion boat tho swearer has Missed
Chester News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

AT rHs TarArER. s.Manma, doesn't pspa
Ike musici' ssYes, my child; why do you
2shp' He always goes out between the
acts wien the band plays. "-ehiiadeiphia
Record
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

6Hs-"I wonder why they call these
angel sleevesl" He-"What else could
they be called when you wear themr'-
Indianapolis Journal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
| EWIS' 90 x I've

The stronosst and pnrest Lys
madeS Unlike other Lye, 1t being
. flne powder and packed in o can
J with removable lid, the contents
ere always ready for use. VIII
make the best perfumed Hard
Soap in 20 minutes Without boil
tag. It II the best for cleansing
waste pipes, disinfecting sinks,
closets, washing bottles, paints,
trees,etc. PENN1. SALT MFG co.
0en. Agents, PHILA.s Pa.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

WE win give 500 reward for any case Of
catarrh that cannot be cured with Halls
Catarrh Cure. Taken internally. F. ].
CaENsY 4 Co., ProprS, Toledo, O.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

TIE only suspicion Of crookedness in
Heaven came about when an astronomer
discovered that some Of the stars had been
fxed.-Picayuue.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09
Doubt Changed to Faith

my little girl Kitty had
askin disease which the
doctors called Eczema,
causing her great agony
with IT. intense itching
and burning. Seven or
eight physicians gave rs
medicines but TO NO good.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

medicines but ton good KITTY FOE
At the earnest advice Of . neighbor we tried
HOODS sARsAPARILLA with the result
Of perfect cure Her skin is now as fair and
clear as any shatd's in town" WnL1AA Fox
Fair Haven. Vt II sure to get Hoods.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

In "The Arabian Nights we read OF
wise sage who cured a great king by
decoction with which he anointed
the handle of stick with which the
king was in the habit of playing game
at ball, to the end that when the royal
hand perspired in the vigor of the play
the open pores might receive the med
icament The translator speaks of this
stick as 'golfstick," (sic,) but it Is
plain from the context that the game
was played on horseback. 1t was, in
fact, polo. Indeed, the illustrations of
the very same edition show the said
king playing the game on horseback
Rlackwood's Magazine.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-09-09

his efforts failed and the old bear was
as ferocious as ever. But what was to
be done?
He had neither knife nor revolver.
and 1t would not do to save his own life
by running away and leaving his friends
to certain death. In fact such an idea
was not in his head for an instant be-
fore he had dubbed his rifle and COM
menced to beat the bear over the ribs
when he could manage to get in blow.
But he might as well have struck at a
bale of hay, 80 little effect did his blows
have on the monster. 1t was hot work
and soon his arms got weak, and when
he struck . blow that missed the crea-
ture his rife flew from his hands and
he was defenseless.
The grizzly saw her advantage and
made terrific rush, which Charley
could only avoid by fight But he did
not run any farther than the nearest
tree, which he climbed Just in time to
escape the ferocious animals claws
Things now looked serious, and for
several moments Charley wondered
what he would have to do next He
knew that he was safe from the bear.
as she could not climb the tree, and
that when daylight cane he would
possibly have q chance to escape by
running. But his partner was in as
great danger. as ever If the old bear
took q notion to attack him. But
Charley made up his mind that if she
did this ne would get down and 60 fog
bis ride and renew ths eight
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08
FOUGHT IN M.iNr U4Rs.
Henry Hughes. Eighty-one Years Old and
Notable Character, In the Tolls.


Henry Hughes. 81 wears old and of
lrish nativity, walked into the Delaware
avenue station Of the Baltimore Il Ohio
railroad at an early hour Tuesday morn.
ing, in search OF drink Of liVGor lie
asked Il passerbv where lie could lind a
saloon, and tho stranger told him to 90 up
the 'hiEh steps" and around lie cora he
wodld ind free bar. Hughes Followed
his instructions, but instead Of finding a
saloon at the Top of the stairs he euuo'ln.
tered Il watuhDIln. who demanded 10 stIgw
what he wanted at that hnur of the morn
ing Hughes told the watGhman To mn.d
his own business and pushed ON 10 lind
the glass Of liquor.
he wntChmIn caught hold of Hughes
AMI tils latter promptly knocked linn
down, he says. Tho walthman WAS REIN
forced by two other men. and when
Hughes saw that he was hemmed in on all
sides, he drew from his nip pocket plug
nt tobacco, Thinking 1t was a revolver
the watchman and his aids Summoned an
officer and had Hughes arrested. The
latter waS brought to the police station
and when searched last evening, three
'tennersn were found secvcted in the
bosom OF his shirt Hughes was fined tor
disorderly conduct by Judge Ball
To a newspaper reporter yesterday
morning, Hughes said he had been for 80
years IN the service of the United States
navy and for 10 years had followed the sea
He was born March 10Th lsl2, and had
fought in the Mexican war. the Florida
war the tracAs in Corca, and the
war oi the rebellion. Hughes cx-
hibited a sabre wound Oh the right wrist
which he had received in the Mexican
war, and showed where huge splinter
had penetrated his body while aboard the
United States vessel Kearsarge in battle
with the Alabama, in the English channel
off of Cherhourg. Hughes also has an
artificial nose, silver plate and silver
clasp on the top of tue head. II fact, he
exhibits wounds on all parts of his body.
several years ago he was granted a pen
sion by the government and nov regularly
draws his remittance of so per month,
SilOf which sum was found on his per-
son Hughes is OF small stature, measuring
> feet inches III hel!ht and weighing l31
pounds. Despite his many battles and long
years Of service in the navy, his hair Is
but slightly tinged with gray, and he is as
active Is any man 20 years his junior. He
was raised on du Points Banks
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08
ONE SESSION FOR SCHOOLS
Welcome News for the Pri-
mary Scholars.
A BOUQUET FOR THE new MAYOR
Revised Bids for Erecting the
New School.


An adjourned meeting of the Board Of
Education was held Monday night, to con-
slider the revised estimates for the erection
Of new grammar school at Sixteenth
and Washington streets There was bare
quorum present when President Baird
raped for order amid a profusion Of paln-
leaf fans and manifestations of opposition
to the warm, sultry weather.
Previous TO the converting of the board
the members took few moments to con-
gratulate their fellows who had been sue
ccssful at Saturdays municipal elections.
The entrance of Dr. Shortlidge was signal
for applause, and as the doctor approached
his seat to the left OF the chairman of the
board, he was surprised to find large
bouquet resting on his desk. An air Of
mystery surrounded the bouquet and the
donor, until subsequent investigation re-
vealed the fact that the flowers came from
the members of the board.
Bernard j. Donohoe, Councilman-elect
from the Second ward, and Howard L.
Staats, member-elect Of Council from tho
Eighth ward, both came in for their share
OF congratulations from the members.
There was some discussion as to the
proper time for the primary schools to be-
gin the holding of one session during the
warm weather.
5. Il. Smith moved that on and after the
10Th inst, the schools continue with one
hesslOll, DeSluHlllS az sou . ClOCk anu etlu-
ing at II o'clock. The motion of Mr..
Smith prevailed.
Bids for the erection of a new grammar
school were then opened as follows Lynn
& Phillips, $4,000; G.. W. Parwin, $40, 800;
John Mulvena, $39,395; A. Eckman,
S43,9O0: William +. Seeds. $40, ,452 Nc
Closkey Brothers, S42, ,4OO Joseph Jenkins
agreed to do the plumbing for the sum of
$3.50. The bids were referred to the
proper committee with power to act.
Patrick Magarrity desired to know what
kind Of bricks the board proposed to use
in building the new school, For the lnfor-
nation OF the member Mr.. Baynard stated
that buff brick would be used.
Mr.. Alagarrity thought the board should
use red brick and not go abroad to secure
their materials.
5. Il. Smith moved that the committee
of No. IL school have authority to secure
the Auditorium as the place of holding
the closing exercises of this school, the
rental price being $50. Mr.. Smiths motion
prevailed.
On motion of Mr. Smith, the committee
on No. Ii school was given power to secure
diplomas for the students at the closing
exercises.
Mr. Smith also moved that the board
bear the expense incident to the printing
of tickets for the reelection of the mem
bers Of the board. The motion was
adopted.
The board then adjourned
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08
THE PRESIDENTS OUTING.
He Has a Good Time Fishing at the
Tower End of the Peninsula.


CAFE CHARLES, VA, May 3l.-This
morning the President and I. Clarke Davis.
with Tom Dougherty as guide, were the
first to make start for the fishing grounds,
reaching them about ll.30 The party
could not have wished for more favor
able day for their sport, and took advant-
age Of the opportunity by remaining until
7:Sl p, m, bringing back with them about
$50 fish, of which over 30 were large blue
fish. The President caught a 40-pound
drum fish.
CAPE CHARLES, VA. June latter q
good nights rest at the Broadwater Club
house the Presidential party arose very
early this morning and were breakfasting
at u o'clock, a.tired in their sporting
clothes, ready 70 make an early start for
the north end of Hog Island where sail
boats were in waiting ready to start out
for another fishing expedition; but upon
arrival the bay was found to be too rough
for comfort, and it was decided to spend
the forenoon along the beach shooting
Snipe, curlew and other beach birds which
were flying in small tlocks,
Having brought their guns and plenty
Of ammunition along this sudden change
did not retard the sport and the birds
were seen falling, the President killing
his share. Mr.. Cleveland did not appear
to be at all disappointed at the mpromptu
programme.
Al | o'clock, however, the bay was
somewhat smoother, and a fishing ex-
pcdition was begun at the north end of
the island, where the President found such
fine sport yesterday At o'clock the
party hauled in their lines, after catching
10 large drum, several blue fish, good
many trout and other small fish, and spent
an hour or two sailing about the bay.
The party returned to the clubhouse at
7.45 p. M, well pleased with the days
sport,
Cleveland was ready at O'Clock, and
sailed to the fishing grounds at the south
end Of Hog stand, a distance Of only two
miles The party threw out their lines at
80 and found fish more plentiful than
they did atdthc north end, where they
tished yesterday.
The President returned to Washington
on Sunday,
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08
DUsr. nfsD AND nIrvsroRn.
Complete Observations Of the Atmos-
pherical aud other Occurrences Dur
inn, tho Stor,n yuPsiiuy Arierunor

Complete Observations Of the Atmos-
pherirai aud Other Occurrences Dur
ing the storm Tuesday Afternoon.
The following were the observations
made in detail at EVERY EvESING office
during the storm which commenced at
2.2l O'clock Tuesday afternoon
22l--Iemperature ~; wind blowing
from the west ard point or two south
of west
Dust storm arose at 2.2S and rain com
menced two or three seconds later. I'p
10 this time no electric flash had been seen
The storm cloud had cnveloped more
than half the city before the storm broke
The black cloud stretched from north
around by south almost to east
Al 2,2i the wind blew strongly from
south and southwest The sky was dark,
but not so dark as it had promised.
22o u.Cluck-The rain fell at an angle of
45o No flash OF lightning yet noticed
2A-Rair . intermittent aud violent AZ
times. At this moment slight thunder
roll was noticed. The precipitation
Strengthened up and wind abuting. At
this moment the ram was, as regards its
perpendicularlty, iSo-J5",
2.3D--Rain falling heavier no lightning
to date Temperature, 500.
222-Thunder, apparently coming from
northwest BY this time the sky had
lightened perceptibly. Rain was still in.
termittent.
255-Rain fell perpendicularly for a
few seconds and then changed its position
to 4jo.
2.S7-Temperature 7sa and the storm
practically over; thin rain falling, and the
street cutters filled with rushing yellow
waters.
At $50 the rain had entirely ceased and
the Thermometer stood at 1852.
At $50 a gentle rain began falling, and
continued until > o'clock, when the
weather became clear.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08

The following property transfers were
recorded Thursday: Three.story dwell
ing, Fourth street, between Harrison and
Franklin, D. llorsk to Il. r. Pfce two.
story frame, Seventh avenue and Duncan
street, q. Conna!ly to 5. Walls; three
story brick jackson and Linden
streets J. Shakespeare 10 W. Baxter;
lot, Fifth aud Franklin streets, W.
NJ. Byrne to W. IL. German; lot, Sixth
and Webb streets, City Building and Loan
Association to p. J. Ford building, Sixth
and Monroe \. Winkelman to Z. X.
Middleton; threestory brick, Second ard
Jackson, J. McNulty 10 +. J. McNulty.
The following property transfers were
recorded Friday: Lot, Rodney and Four
teenth streets, Edward johnson to +. L..
t.vrswell; lot and two-story brick, Syca-
mare and Harrison streets II. :. Christy
~, Eugene &. Honeywell, No. 1923 West
Fith street Michael Newell to Mary S.
Wi1sil; lot, Thiriieth street and Wooddale
ayenue. j. l.. Carpenter TO j. I. Ahrens;
No, 1875 West Fifth street, Michael Newell
to James X. Patton,
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08

During the lifetime OF General U. $.
Grant he had, perhaps, no more intimate
friend than General Il. +. I}eale, and some
of the finest horses driven by him while
President We're presented by bis companion
in war and peace. With critical eye ami
mature Judgment General lieale stocked
his farm, which he named Ash Hill, in
Prince Georges county, Maryland, with
such well-brtd trotterS as suited his fancy.
having in mind speed, color. style and
pleasing conformation. Since the death of
General Beale the eXecntrlX of his estate
has decided to dispose of all his horses,
and with them all the appliances Of a
trimming stable. Ghe premier stallion is
Prince Oreti, sire of Sadie NJ, whose sen.
sational performances at Point Breeze and
belmont, during the past two weeks
stamp her high-class mare. The sale
will be held at Philadelphia TattcrsalIs, on
Wednesday, June 18th. and no animal will
be sold at private sale previous to that
time.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-06-08
NEw mr. 70 p.IY RENE.


The Curious Stury % tAs Terms Upon
Which tine state Detectives Rented
Their OHIce.
At the meeting Of the Board of Trustees
OF the Poor, Wednesday, Detective Witsil
asserted that Milton luckey. an eX Xtrustee,
had agreed to allow the State detectives to
use without paying rent room in the
Wilmington office OF the board provided
they uusted William ], Blackburn from
the Office of chief of police. Mr.. Lackey
was present and denied the assertion.
Detective McNey said MIR, Lackey
saw MIR. Witsil and ! at sixth and Market
streets the day EVERY EVENING published
all account OF the finding of Chief Black
burns bank book on h. T. Stroud. He
had Il copy of EvEsY EVENING and asked
me if what the paper stated was true.
told him il was and he remarked that if
the chief was fired heswould let us have
the room free after the end of the year
which was in April. | asked him if he
meant it and he said he did. He repeated
the promise several times. He said he and
the chief were carpenters, they had had
some trouble and he did not like the chief.
We recently asked him before a crowd in
Christy's cigar store about the promise,
when he admitted that he had made it but
claimed that it was a joke. His term as
trustee expired in March, nearly year
after we stopped paving rent"
Mr.. LItkey was also seen but did not
want to talk. The reporter started to tell
HIM what Detective McNcy had said but
had not proceeded far before Mr.. LaCkey
interrupted him and exclaimed: at is u
lie. They are liars. What if ! did say it
1t doesn't amount to anything. They
signed three years lease lie would say
no more.