The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-11-07
EXTRA SESSION YARNS.
There are Some Clever Story TelIeTS
In the House.
Quaint and Humorous Yarns Told by
Cooper, Hutoheson, Everett, Tai
bert, Simpson, CLARK, Moses and

bert, Simpson, CLARK, Moses and
Pence.
From the New York Sun.
Washington, Oct. 27.-In the south and
In the north the most popular orators
seem to be those who tell the best stories.
To be pleasing, however, the story must
be pat to the point at issue. One of the
most successful men in congress was
Washington c. Whitthorne, of Tennessee.
On the stump he was invincible. The
stories few from him like corn popping
from a griddle, and each was pertinent to
the issue presented. He conld adapt him
self to all circumstances and conditions,
and have story that would exactly fit
every niche in his argument. This adapt
ability kept him in congress for many
years, but in his speeches on the floor of
the House he dispensed with anecdotes
and depended upon argument alone. He
found it the most effective.
At first glance this congress would
seem to have more than its proportion of
story tellers. The stories, however, bear
no comparison to the number of speeches
mado in the House Anecdotal illustra-
tious are really very few. Some are stale,
while others are quaint and original. All
are acceptable. for without them discus
sion or debate would be dull indeed. The
first story told on the floor this session
came from Mr.. Cooper, of Florida. The
House had been in session ten days before
the anecdotal vein was revealed. Cooper S
story illustrated precisely point which
he was making in an anti-silver speech
He could not reconcile himself to vote for
a measure which would make 81 cents
worth of silver a dollar. If this was done
he thought his people ought to receive
dollar for every 81 cents worth of cotton,
tobocco, yams and oranges. He did not say
that he supported such a proposition, but
informed the House that he would man
age to hold his conscience in allegiance .
AN acquaintance of mine,'' said Mr.
Cooper, twas COW attorney for certain
railroad. His duties were to go around
and resist claims for cattle killed on the
track. He resorted to legal bubbles and
delays, and continued in service about
three years, when the railroad company
discharged him. Thereupon he became a
very active and Jealous promoter of like
claims on the other side One day as he
was addressing the jury in a Justices
court, he became very severe, not only
upon the company, but upon the attorney
representing the company Finally, the
other counsel could stand it no longer,
and threw his record at him.
Didn't you for three years represent
this railroad and resist just such claims
as this, doing what l am doing, only deal
more SO?'
Whereupon the indignant COW attorney
replied: Sir, for three years held my
conscience in allegiance, but now it is
broke loose"
To clinch the anecdote, Mr.. Cooper said
that he had not held his conscience in
abeyance, but if he was to do it, he want
ed to see some tangible benefit for his
people.
The next anecdote was related by the
Hon. John G. Hutcheson, of Texas 1t
was an old-timer. Josiah Patterson, of
Tennessee, had happened to remark in
his anti-silver speech that we had come
to the fork of two roads Mr.. Hutcheson
was making a silver speech, and said that
If this was so, he would stand where the
cOlored man in the congregation stood.
The minister said, chat broad road am
de road that leadeth to destruction, and
straight and narrow am de path that
leadeth to eternal damnation, - and these
were two roads mentioned in scripture.
At this an old darby in the congrega-
ton jumped to his feet shouting: ''F'o'
God! If dat am de case, den dis yere Mig
ger takes straight to de woods"
Mr.. Hutchesen said that it might be
that he should be obliged to take straight
to the woods, but if he did he wanted the
Democratic party to hew the way, and he
wanted the gentleman from Tennessee to
be present to chop along the line and help
his party through the wilderness.
The next yarn came from the lips of
that classic scholar of Harvard DR.
William Everett of Massachusetts. He
was amazed at the determination of some
gentlemen of all three parties, democrats,
republicans, and populists, to find politics
somewhere in some part of the silver dis
cussiOn. They had wonderful nose for
the political cat IN every bag of meal pre-
sented to them. 1t reminded him of what
happened in a certain poor religious con-
gregatiOn in England. The congregation
wanted to procure new hymn books, but
they We're very poor and could
not afford to pay for them at the
ordinary prices. They understood. how
ever, that a certain great advertis-
ing house, a business house that made
patent medicines, was willing to furnish
them hymn books at a penny each if they
would allow some advertisements to be
inserted in the books. They thought that
would be no special harm, that they might
have few pages of advertisements bound
up with Watts and Doddridge. They
agreed to the proposition. The books
came duly printed, and they got down to
GuS CuurCn on Lee. u.
On Christmas morning the model
Christians, who had no thought of any
thing but religion, got up TO sing. Their
pastor gave out by the first line of very
familiar hymn. Immediately the con-
gregation arose to their feet, and in few
seconds were aghast to find themselves
singing
Hark! the herald angels sing
BeeChams pills are just the thing.
Peace on earth and mercy mild
Two for man and one for child.
The House broke into uncomfortable
laughter and cheered DIR. Everett to the
echo.
laughable story was told by the Hon.
w, Talbert of South Carolina, a day
or two afterward He said he had
listened with great deal of earnestness
10 speeches on both sides of the question.
he had listened so seriously and patiently
that somestimes he had been in the posi-
lion of the little boy whose mother in
making him his first pair of trousers, put
the front in the rear. The little fellow
started for school the next morning, and
walked cheerfully along until he looked
Down and discovered the situation, when
ne burst out crying and whimpered: Il
oon't like these pants; l don't know
whether am going to school or going
back home"
The South Carolinian's statement was
received with great laughter.
NOT long afterwards, in referring to the