The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-02
QAlDIas... HRoMAN sINcER'N

Lilo HiOruluS you utfb me.
thought it was the last hurt,
and that I should die then-instead of
tonight. Do you remember? You
thought / was i'll, and you went away.
When you were gone I fought with
myself. My dreams-yes, | had
dreamed of all that can make earth
heaven. and you had walked me. You
said that you would be a brother to
me-you talked of friendship. The
sting of it! 1t is no wonder hat l
grew faint with pain. Had you struck
mt in the face / would have kissed
your hand. But your friendship!
Rather be dead than, loving, be held
a friend! And / had dreamed of being
dear to you for my own sake. of
being dearest and first and alone be-
loved, since that other was gone
and I had burned her memory.
That pride l had still until that
moment. / fancied that it was in
my power, if I would stoop so low,
to make you sleep again as you had
slept before, and to make you, at my
bidding, feel as I felt. / fought with
myself. | would not go down to that
death. And hen / said that even
that were better than your friendship,
ven a false semblance of love in
spired by my will, preserved by my
suggestion. And so fell. You came
back to me, and I led you to that
lonely place and made you sleep, and
then L told you what was in my heart,
and poured out the fire of my soul
into your ears. A look came into
your FACET shall not forget it. My
folly was upon me, and I thought it
was for me. l know the truth now.
Sleeping, the old memory revived in
you of her whom. waking you will
never remember again. But the look
was there, and I bid you awake. My
soul rose in my eyes. I hung upon
your lips. The loving word 1 longed
for seemed already to tremble in the
air. Then came the truth. You
awoke. and yourface was stone, calm,
smiling, Indifferent, unloving. And all
this Israel Kafka had seen, hiding like
a thief almost beside us. He saw it
all. he heard it all, my words of love,
my agony of waiting, my utter humil-
iation, my burning shame. Was T
cruel to him? He had made me suffer,
and he suffered in his turn. All this
you did not know. You know it now.
There is nothing to tell. Will you
wait here until he comes? Will you
look on, and be glad to see me die?
Will you remember in the years to
come with satisfaction that you saw
the witch killed for her many mis-
deeds, and for the chief of them ALL
for loving you?"
The Wanderer had listened to her
words, but the ta4s they told was be-
You'd the power or mis- belief.
'You shall not die if I can help it,"
he said simply.
"And if you ave me, do you think
I will leave you?" she asked with sud-
den agitation, turning and half rising
from her seat. ''Think what you will
be doing, if you save me! Think
well! You say that Israel Kafka is
desperate. I am worse than desper-
ate-worse than mad, with my Lowell"
She sank back again and hid her
face for a moment.
s.You shall not die, if I can save
you," he said again.
She sprang to her feet very sud
denly and stood before him.
You pity mel" she cried. What
lie is that which says that there is a
kinship between pity and love? Think
well-beware-be warned. I have
told you much. but you do not know
me yet. If you save me, you save me
but to love you more than l already
do. Look at me! For me there is
neither God, nor hell, nor pride, nor
shame! There is nothing that 1 will
not do-nothing that I shall be
ashamed or afraid of doing.
If you I've me, you save me
that I may follow you as long as
l live. | will never leave you. You
shall never escape my presence. your
whole life shall be full of me-you do
not love me, aad I can threaten with
nothing more intolerable than myself.
Your eyes will weary of the sight of
me, and your ears at the sound of my
voice. Do you think I have no hope?
A moment ago I had one But 1 see
it now. Whether you will or not. I
shall be yours. You make a prisoner
of mel shall be in your keeping,
then, and shall know it, feel it, and
love my prison for your sake, even if
you will not let me see you. If you
would escape from me You must kill
me, as Israel kafka means to kill me
now-and then, 1 shall die by your
hand and my life will have been yours
and given in you. How can you.think
that l have no hope? / have hope
and certainty-for l shall be near
you always to the end-always, al
ways, always! l will cling to you as
I do now-and say l love Gou. Hove
you-yes, and you will cast me of.
but I will not go-I will clasp your
feet. and say again. l love you, and
you way spurn me-man, god. wan
derer, devil-whatever you are-be-
loved always! Tread upon me, tram
pie upon me, crush me-you cannos
ave yourself, you cannot kill my
V---F