Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1893-08-31
HICKS PATENT COOKER.
The Pathetic Story That Induced
the Rector to Buy.

hammered man with the soft low voice
10 the rector of St Bartholomew at
consists, as mebbe you can see"
But | don't desire n cooker, and
would not look at one IL / did," inter
rupted the rector OF st. Bartholomew
In as irascible manner as is permitted
10 his cloth.
"They come in three sizes" contin-
ued the mild-mannered man with the
soft low voice. small, mejum aud
large. They're made of tin, genuwine
block tin, not rolled tin. have fro
quently been congratulated ON the
quality@bf my tin. Said Bishop Dobson
20 me; Hicks, congratulate you on
the quality OF your tin "
Bishop Dobson?" qucried the rector
Of st. Bartholomew with languid in
terest. 81 don't remember to have seen
his name in the church calendar"
"Mcthody," explained the mild-man-
nercd man. "l'm n Methody. Here's
Il certificate from my pastor saying I'm
an individooal of moral character and
use good tin in my cookers. Here's a
letter from Rev. Edward Atlsins-but
don't set much store by that, bcin' Us
he is Baptis', and no judge of tin.
The principle on which my cooker is
based"
"You will have TO excuse me-" said
the rector Of St. Bartholomew, look
ing hard at the heavy gold watch pre-
sented him by the parish on his last
birthday, "but have sermon TO
write"
"Mebbe your lady would like TO see
the cooker" said the mild-mannered
man. "lt's made of genuwine block
tin, and Bishop Dobson himself said:
Hicks, congratulate you ON the quail
ity Of your tin"
~ have no WIFE" said the rector,
with the morest suspicion of blush.
"Then buy cooker and git one" said
the mild-mannered man. confidentially.
"With Hicks paytent cooker rs an
argumint, you will git one easy. They
come In three sizes-small, mejum and
large. This here Is the small one
Folds all up, you see, like n telescope.
Mebbe you wouldn't believe it, but one
life once. 1t was in the spring of 1853,
or the fall of 1852, or the winter of
1854, | don't remember which and 1t
don't make no difference, that Rev. DR.
james Wilyums, ID. D., and ! took pas
sage for Africliy In the brig Thomas j.
WallSup, goin' as missionaries TO some
of the numerous cannibal tribes that
keeps down the population, and conse-
quently accounts for the depressed
values OF real estate in the Dark Con-
tinent. Rev. DIR. Wilyums was TO teach
the savages religion, but my mission
was more important one. | was to
introduce Hicks paytcnt cooker among
'em. You can see that even this large
sized cooker won't hold man, TO say
nothin' of the mcjum and small
ones. Now calculated to teach the saw
ages to use my cookers, and when they
got so attached to 'em as to never eat
nothin' except what was cooked IN n
coolSer--seein' that you couldn't cook Il
man In 'em-cannibalism would natur-
ally die out. When | preached my plan
to Bishop Dobson his eyes shonc and he
said: Go, Hicks, go. Your work will
supplement the work of Rev. DIR. viii
yums. heartily commend your plan,
and congratulate you on the quality
Of your tin Them was his words, and
I went.
"Well, sir, the mornin' after | ar
rived in Africlsy began TO talk to the
chief about my cooker, when what
does he do but take me down TO the
lcadin' grocery store OF the town and
show me Rev. DIR. Wilyums chained mp.
Can you cook him?' aXed the chief.
NO said |, my breath all gone
with surprise ut the turn affairs had
took.
"'Well,' said the old chief, 'them's
the kind OF victuals we eats. We don't
consume much in the way of breakfast
foods, infants foods and the like. II
your cooker can't cook our style of pro-
visions we amt got any use for it.
"And with that they put me in their
Jail, and that was the last ever seen
or hcerd of Rev. DIR. James Wilyums,
ID. d. They would have ct me ut once,
but the chiefs daughter, Ugoginn, fell
in love with me, and made EN- put off
the obsequies or festivities, according
US you looked at it from my stand
point or tho savages' talked nice 10
ugogina, and got her TO bring me my
small-si1ed cooker, the only one the old
witch doctor what kept the cookers
would let her have; and with that
cooked them savages the finest kinds OF
victuals they ever ct, and they set me free
and made mo royal cook, and the chici
kinder smiled indulgcntly at the way
Ugogina was maxim up 10 me. So you
see the small-sized cooker saved my
life"
I'm buy the small size" said tn,
rector, hastily II have sermon u
WRITE
snow you just take my advice ant
git meium size. You can afford IL
When you take that small-sized cooker
round 10 that young lady you're after
when You ask her TO marry you whatl
she thinlS9 Why, sho'll say 10 hersel
that in buyin' this small cooker you are
layln' out not TO ever have any com
pauy 20 n'als, and IL she is girl tina
Is fond OF company, you're runnin' I
risk Wait till tell you how the mejum
sized coolser saved my life. Wen, tn,
old witch doctor took a big dislike h
me, and kept tellin' the folks that
would mako better meal cooked thai
would coolsln' Ugogina wanted 4
marry me, and the chief was wlllin'
but the witch doctor prophesied lot .
calamities n the marriage took place
and scared the chief Now | didn'
want TO marry Ugogina, but | could Sc
that II did 1 would be saved frou
bein' ct; but thought would try Il
aav. nwnalf and cnal ont OF thu fnnrriasr