Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-11-20
Let Us All Laugh.


Picayune.
THERE is always room at the top
FOR large potatoes. Blizzard.
Liquor and lick her too often
travel together.-Lowell Courier.
DEAL gently unless you wish to
break up the game. Galveston News.
A GREAT many will sing a lie that
will not deliberately tell ne.-Ram's
Horn.
The manicure doesn't insist on
"cash on the nail. "-Glens Falls Re-
publican.
The gods of heather lands are only
matters of idol curiosity here
Rochester Democrat.
BEAUTY is only skin deep, the prov
erb says; but, after all, that serves.
-Somerville Journal.
MANY man owes his success in life
to the advice he didn't take from
others. Journal.
A MAN never has so much use for
his watch as when listening to long
sermon. Globe.
EVEN the man who is considered
"a trump" is sometimes turned
down.'"--Yonkers Statesman.
IT is not the modest man but the
politician with an under lip like
scoop who gets the sugar
News.
The steeplechaser may be quick
tempered, but when he takes fence
he gets over it very quickly. -Elmira
Gazette.
The tenant who spends all his
money on tear naturally has cause
to worry over the rent.-Buffalo
Courier.
WELL, Anna, have you found the
rose for my hair yet?" "Yes, madam;
but now l cannot find the hair
Fliegende Batter
THEATRICAL people ought to be
good: they are repeatedly being
prompted to do the right thing
Yonkers Statesman.
SHE from the hammock -"Have
you read AN Exquisite Fool?'" He
with sigh of hopelessnesss)-"rve
been one. Detroit Free Press.
WELL" observed Blobbs at the
shore, "the beach is dirty with wreck
age, but we can hardly say that it is
not tide-y. philadelphia Record.
WAITER (at Saratoga) - "Chips,
sir?" Straightflush (his mind still on
last nights little game)-"Yes: two
| stacks, both blces. buffalo Courier.
THERE is one safe way of avoiding
fatal mistakes in distinguishing be-
tween mushrooms and toadstools.
Eat parsnips. kansas City Journal.
DEMONSTRATORS in Natural Science
Gentlemen, l hold in my hand three
shells. Voice from amphitheater-It
isn't under any of them. -Detroit
Tribune.
! VIsITOR-Whose exhibit is that
| Columbian Guard (Obligingly inspect
ing it)-Some Russians, guess. His
name seems to be HandsOff. -Chicago
Tribune
HUsBAND-"I just can't live in the
same house with that cook any long
er." Farewell. Edwin. We
may meet in the great beyond. DE
troit Tribune.
FEW people know better what the
| phrase "a searching glance" means
than the smuggler when the eagle
eye of the customs inspector falls upon
him.-Buffalo Courier.
A WOMAN in Ohio has just received
her degree as an electrical engineer
She ought. 10y mere force of instinct,
to know how to manage the sparks.
Baltimore American.
"WELL," said the reporter, as he
took the cash for an interview with a
certain eminent politician, this is
not the first rumOr that has gained
currency Washington Star.
OYSTERS twenty inches in diane
ter. once grew on the sea bottom that
Is now the Yuma Desert. Yuma
doubt it, but they've got the shells
to shOw.-Philadclphia Ledger.
A LADY reader wants to know il
we believe in cures by "laying on of
hands," We do, madame, we do,
most fervently. But slipper or pine
single is better. News
HOTEL GUEST (at the Worlds Fair
What's this item r. A. mean on
my bill? Clerk-You had room on
the fifteenth floor, didn't your Guest
Yes. Clerk-That's for "rarefied
| air. Club.
MAIDEN (who had been reading of
the French way Of conducting matri-
monial alliances)-Mamma, you knew
papa quite well before you married
him, didn't your Mamma (sadly)-I
thought 1 did.-Brooklyn Life.
"WHAT despot are you after now?"
asked the Nihilst's wife as he put
fresh bomb in his pocket. II amt
saying word," was the reply, "only
the baby has just got to stop running
things with such high hand. De
| trOit Tribune.
A LITTLE Roxbury girl says she's
not going to be an old maid, for,
says she: "When nice little grown
up boy comes to ask me to get mar
ried, I'll be SO happy l won't wait to
run downstairs to meet him; I'll just