The morning call., 1893-03-01
Bhat Me Demon Looks Like.


activity within the last two or three weeks
But II is not easy to properly classify
Frederick Hamilton JaEclolsen'S discovery.
As far as can be learned it is the largest,
and therefore most important, insect that
has yet been found in the drinking water.
II measures about an inch in length and
varies from the thinness of pin to the
thickness OF tenDenny nail i'll circum-
ference.
Upon the whole, IL resembles a seaside
resort sea serpent more than anything else.
A CALL reporter was detailed 10 make
scientific investigation into the species and
thesis Of Mr.. JanclOisen's find, but his con-
clusions are not altogether convincing.
According to the best scientific authority
one must know the adult structure of the
brute, his personal development and his
ancestral development before the proper tag
can be placed upon him-if it be him.
The artists delineation of the adult
structure" has been compared to every pic
ture in Webster's unabridged and Dante's
Inferno, but without profit to the inveSti-
eating reporter.
Nosueh conglomerated or nucleated mass
of protOplasmic cells Is exhibited at the
Art Associations rooms, and Mr.. Martin
SAYS he never saw its like in ell or pastel
Other fields we're then. explored.
The religious editor, who has recently re-
turned from visit TO his relatives in BOur-
bon County, KY, is quite certain that he
saw very similar creature in the dreams
and phantasies that came over him before
his departure for the Golden West but even:
be is unable TO answer the first and most
imnortant of all questions.
Has this specimen genuine, bnng-tide;
ali w0olof yard wide: tissue? In other
words, are his cells Differentiated into histo-
geneitc elem entary constituents? i.,s. e.
-. If they are, he is.a pfotogp2. -: :,.;tE4..
II lie IS Iot.yhfs namo.is inetaZOa. -:
:. Lii either case it IS a pretty Tough thiag
for a acliurcll.me erhberta ffHd sarh ii lag IN.
his. drinking water-and ;irteRgious folks
Will he sk eptfcaE -; - -,
: When It Is considered that neit6er Fred
erick Hamiltoti Jafsekofse9. nor the ipvesti-'
eating fepeFteF,. nor any member of sIIfE
CALI. staff bas bad u yer .6N tended ae-
quatntauee With this particular Kind Of ali.
nlent, the diflicuftieS in the way Of seqtiir-
ing knowledge coneerniRg its s'petsenaf
development are wellnigh: insurm0dnta-
BILE. r. ''s - .s.: -. = r. -.
Sir. Jancloisen.*fs of. the opinion that il
he had not worn his speetarles wlIen he
drew thp glass of water from the hydrant
he would ere this,.fn all htInan probability,
have had a very large cltHdk of knewledge
CONCERNING its ''peTsouai Development: =
Mrs. Janci0jsen, Miss Jane}eIsen and
Master Janeleisen are; of the same otiinion,
and the, welght of lhls three-ply opiai9n
must be.GarefAny: sdeEed by the iuPesti-
eating scientist. - T.. - =; . 3.
=: But Mr. ,lahelGisen. caught the monster
beforett was toolate, and there ls nothing
to lead the:inyeStigat0T t@rencEude that this
Specimen has ever yet come into personal
contact with The digestive oTgqps of a. npr-
NAL human being. =. :..
And this statement is made in spite. of the
fact TINT there have been mans cases o f
''fieArt failure" recently and many deaths
t'from causes upknDwnt o1tlfe jaTy:N
And tho statement is .hasedo on The further
:fact-if il be fact that death in none 5of
the foregoing csSss was .ace6m panied with
or foresfi ad owed BY deIirinm 4femeils
: As ID. the ';aneestraldeF 0Dnlenti cd: the
. original of the sacceini i7lny ng diagram the
most careful investigation by: the repofieEs
failed To- reveal the slightest lux ling. & : 3-.s
f. Starting out 9ilt he diagnosis that THE spe-
cirnen is a pretozoa-w halexer that lnay:
belt was soon leartied that there was still.
reason for grave dorbts as to whether the
thing is a monera OF ain ehd0piastiCa.. :: 4 ..
Suppose it to be devoid of both. fIicIe I
aud eehtraetile SesiGles. thus coming under
the sIeltering arm 6f the family known as
nanera, .'..s: -. - ;s;:.::;ss,, So, ].
= =: In that event t:ean not escape being bur.
dened all lls fragile life with one or more Of
the pQiysyiEAb1es = s.:;.-' =, ?
Pro tainG5iie. .'. II =: !:
;ProtoH0uad5dse. i .'. -; :, :.
e. MyXastridfe.. -: !.
This is terrible, but it is triie. :. ! ~ =.
:. There Is no escape either for the insect
: or the man who swallows it, +. i. ss " :
Again, on the safLle hand the reporter
might be protom$xa and Still claim fun
kindred. with all: the other monera s = = : +
But In this case, however, tile inyxap6ds
coalesee into a reticHlated piasmod flrl..
The alternative is frightfnl. but in its
contemplation there Is one; consolation and
this is that if ::altthe foregoing IS true of
this animal, then he. can thank: his lucky
stars for having escaped the terrlble con.
clusions that must be formed on the ether
hand. - e: -: =. -, :.
Surprising it to belong to the ,nietazoa.
family. Then its given name mast be either
Eshmodermata, Acantahocephala, Atch@.
astGmata, Scolecimorphia :. ;,
(: The San Francisco Directory contains no
such names. They are found only in the
dictionary, and no addresses are. given
here
Hence the reporter could get no clew of
the ancestors of either oftlese distinguished
families. A person by the name of Metozoa
Is said 10 have lived on the BarBary Coast,
but he has moved to Sacramento.
In reaching definite Inclusion as to the
proper classification of this beautiful night
mare there is one thing more to be taken
into powerful, albeit fearful consideration.
1t is that in the C9lenterata, Nemator-
Idea. Turbellaria, Trematoda and Ratifera
the mode OF origin Of the cells which lie be-
tween the epiblast and the hypoblast con-
stitute the mesoblasi. and give rise to the
connective tissues aud muscles of the. body
walls OF that OF the Intestine.
Therefore, 1t follows logically and correl-
atlvely that as a scientific hypothesis which
cannot be disputed on anything less sub
stantial than apriora evidence. the new
specimen must be called the Frederickus
Hamiltonius Janclolsenarla Metazoa.
In view of all the facts this is only just,
however horrible it may sound.
And for the benefit of all future genera
ti0ns Mr.. Jancloisen's contribution to the
science of natural history should be pre-
served in alcohol, properly tagged as herein
above described, and placed away on the
top shelf where 1t may serve as terrible
example to young men eonstitutionally pre-