The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-15
THE yUB1LE GIFT or TACT.
A Valuable Thing to Possess in the Home
and In Society.

and in Society.
We hear about mans inhumanity to
man. but nothing about womans in
humanity. 1t is astonishing how much
bitterness has been caused by most
unintentional rudeness says an ex-
change. Women stab each other daily
in conversation, without intending to be
malicious. Tact is, perhaps, the rarest
and most valuable OF gifts She who has
1t can get along happily without any
beauty and almost without brains She
who has 1t not cannot get on at all
without constant ,attrition. She hurts
where she would heal and wonders at
the resentment that follows her we'll
meant efforts. There are several
"don'ts" which should be considered
whenever two or more women are gath
cred together. For instance: Don't say
TO friend: How stout you are grow
Ing" No woman likes TO be told that
she is growing or has grown stout. If
1t be fact she is doubtless well aware
of 1t and anxious to keep others from
discovering 1t. You would not think of
saying 10 her: How ugly you are grow
ingl' yet what you have said is OF very
much the same nature, for most women
consider any approach TO stoutness as
so many steps taken In the direction Of
the loss of beauty.
If you are really polite you will do
all In your power TO turn your friends
thoughts from any distressing or annoy
ing channel.
Don't say, How thin you are" either
for both women and men loathe TO be
told that they are either stout or thin.
Unless you can say, How we'll you are
looking" II were better TO make no re-
mark on the personal appearance of
your friend
Don't tell a friend who has on a mar
ticuiariy becoming gown or bonnet that
she looks ten years younger in that
than In anything you have ever seen her
wear. That is at best but a dubious
compliment. You mean II to be fatter-
Ing, but IL is equivalent TO saying: "All
your other gowns are unhecoming and
make you look old" No woman wants
one garment praised at the expense of
every other that she possesses. Don't
tell her either that IL is the most be-
coming thing you have ever seen her
wear. That is an impeachment OF her
taste heretofore though you probably
have no such thought.
II you should notice bit OF black
court plaster on friends cheek don't
try 10 be witty by pointing at ii and
asking her II she has been fighting.
lNVtIiinS Noulu bt Tess utllCdte. III FORCES
her TO speak about II and that certainly
cannot be agreeable to her. She knows
II is there. certainly. or II would not be
there, hence II IS superfiuous as we'll
as offensive to speak Of 1t.
In these days when hair changes its
color with much greater facility than
the leopard can change his spots, don't
ask friend II her hair was not lighter
or darker some years ago, when you
first knew her. Such question may be
embarrassing 10 her and may force her
TO explain what Is entirely her own
affair. Whatever pertains 10 ones tot
let Is Of strictly private nature. and
the well-bred stranger or friend inter-
rneddleth not.
When elderly persons are present do
not tell how you dread the thought OF
old age In short. do not introduce sub
jects OF conversation which could prove
offensive 10 any one present.
In society. beauty, grace. wealth and
learning win avail but little without
that valuable characteristic-tact.