The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-07-01
THE u. S. NAIL.

socreatlOn. ~ came very near KcCCH02N8|
fr;epd Of ours into serious troable.e ny
brother Joe once edited a paper. He u4edt4
write the answers to cOrrespondentsIAA 4
men he didn't have letters enough & "a
the entire column he used to make up 4&
that were real funny. One Of the lei
that he once wrote in this fashion, as
ma can remember, read something
this:
Eleanor writes us that shc Is q young wfd6w
of 20: that she has very comfortable, pretty
home and q few thousand dollars well invested.
which yield her an income sufficient for her
support, but being without children, spirited in
disposition, attractive in appearance, in excel
lent health and fond of society, she is very
lonely end desires the companiOnship of a true
man, matrimoniaiiy Inclined, who will wed and +
always love her for herself alone.
Brother Joe inserted this modest para
graph in a prominent place, without seri-
Gus thought of unpleasant consequences.
It appeared In due time in the paper and
was scattered broadcast over the land.
Pretty soon the business Office began to
be flooded with letters of inquiry from
every imaginable part Of the country, writ
4 ten by men of every class, condition and
style, matrimonially inclined, asking for
the full name and address of the beautiful
unknown.
! The frequency of these frivolous commu-
nicatiOns became u nuisance in the count
Ing room. The business manager, after the /
\ thing ceased to be Il novelty, began to swear
vfully, and Brother Joe at last, thinking |
u end the Eleanor business as once, on I
I thc next week inserted the following para
\ 8 aph in the correspondents column:
eleanor wishes to state that her full name Is |
a Eleanor Raymond, and that her present ad-
d dress is Postoffice, Chicago.
h,,c;
4 i iese amatOry epistles no more, and quiet
\ igned again in the editorial sanctum of
i ] rother Joe.
Il gTwo weeks went by without another mis-
I've of inquiry about the mysterious "Elea-
6or."
Brother Joe had comical acquaintance
by the name Of Brindley Buttles, who
boarded with Mrs. Hooker. He was droll
sort of fellow, not overstocked with intel
Y lectual requirements, but full of good ma
ture and always jolly" Brother Joe used
/ to go with him a good deal, not that they
were much alike in their tastes but be-
cause Brother Joe believed that Brindley
always kept him in good humor.
One day Brother Joe said to him, ''Brind-
ley, before You come home from the post
Office to night ask at the general delivery
for litter addressed to Mrs. Eleanor Ray
mOnd."
Brindley was a clerk in the postofficc and
could do this without inconvenience.
"rriend Of yours?" he inquired curiously.
Joe winked at him mysteriOusly.
''Show it to me, old fellow, if you get one,
eh?" with an exhibition of growing inter
est.
Certainly" responded Brother Joe;
''when have any fun to divide among my
friends you shall come in for the principal
part of it,"
That night Brindley Buttles was miss
ing. He did not put in an appearance at
the Hooker boarding house. Mrs. Hooker
became quite concerned at his absence and
/, thought somebody ought to write to his
poor mother.
About o'clock on the afternoon Of the
next day one of the Hooker boys rang our
! doorbell and left a note for Joseph. 1t read
as follows:
A Joe, old fellow, I'm in trouble and perhaps
We're both in for it.. Come over Mt once. Five
hundred dollars fine and n year in the peniten-
tiary. b. b.
At first Joe laughed and said he guessed
that Brindley was trying very hard to per-
petrate a jokc, but something whispered to
me that the matter was really serious, 30
told Joe he had better run over to Mrs.
{ Hooker's Immediately, 80 he put on his hat
and let the house.
He found Brndley sitting ON the edge of
the bed in his room at Mrs. HOoker's. Brind-
leys face was pale, and his toes turned in,
as if he was suffering from some internal
pain. Joe thought at first that he had eat
en- too many green apples.
''Wnat ails you, old boyF was his famil-
lar salutation.
'Ohr' groaned Brindley in great distress
Of mind and apparently suffering in body,
''this has been the worst year ever knew"
what has the year to do with it," asked
Joe, with wonder.
"Five hundred dollars fine and a year In
the penitentiary," groaned the individual
always previously jolly. Joe said that he
was the most melancholy looking affair at
that moment that he had ever seen.
Zine and imprisonment for whatis cried
Joe, with "a feeling Of uneasiness, for he
saw that something really serious had hap
pened.
"Well," said Brindley at last, with q
gulp, as il there was . big lump In hi
thruat, when started home from thu
postoffice, stopped at the general delivery
window as innocent rs lamb. wtnked
at the girl there-she'd always been kind @
sweet on me, you know-and said, II
there anything here for Eleanor Raymond
BY CAD, hadn't tho words out OF my
mouth before five detectives grabbed me-
an "Detectivesr
II ''Yes-said they'd been waiting for . tel
y Wow about my size for l0dayS"
"Waitingl On what charged"
sG Receiving anonymous letters throug
PN The postoffice. Dangerous business THU