The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1893-06-24
Wise and Otherwise.


writes truck"
"Pa mortifies me so," said Miss
Jinkins. Gle always will way sas-
siety instid of sauciety."
Herdso-"Do you believe in the
faith cure2" Saidso Eyes; one
treatment cured all the faith l had"
Professor in Mathematics Xxx
"Do you understand the theory of
limits, Mr.. Butch2" Mr.. Butch
"No, sir; I never play poker"
Aunt-"Well, Bobby, what do you
want to be when you grow up3"
Bobby remembering private seance
in the woodshed) IAN orphan"
Teacher-"Karl can you tell me
the, symbolism of colors-green, blue
and red, for instance9" Karl
"Hope, modesty, and-socialism."
Maude (poetic) -" april showers
bring May flowers" May (practicaD
-"April showers aren't in it with
the young man who is now calling
on me-"
"Johnny, what is kiss2" asked
the teacher. "It's thing which you
can't describe with yer tongue, but
yer can express it with yer lips" said
Johnny.
Wool-"Now, supposing you we're
i'll Emperor Williams place, what
would you do7" Van Pelt (without
hesitation)-"Send Immediately for
Dick Croker"
Jinks-"Don't you think that the
intentions of French duellists are
more honorable than is generally
conceded?" Filkis-"Oh, yes; as a
rule they aim high"
Lord st. Agnant-"The trouble
with you Americans is that you will
joke about things from which humor
is entirely absent" Sallie De White
-"Even about Englishmen."
The Beauty's Friend.-"Pm so
glad to hear you are to marry Jack
Cr9sus. It's really golden engage
ment for you" The Beauty-"Ex-
actly so-it's my fiftieth."
Dawson Ito stranger at Mrs. De
Noo's reception)-"Who is this Mrs.
De Noo?" Stranger-"She is Mr..
De Noo's wife," Dawson-"And who
on earth is De Noo?" Stranger
e."
man." said Mr.. Wickwire oracu-
larly, "views woman as being to be
looked up to-" SIS that the reason
he let's her stand up when he has a
seat in the carr" asked Mrs. Wick
wire.
Editor American Joker-"We can
not accept any more contributions
from you, Mr.. Wagg." Mr.. Wagg-
"May l ask why?" Editor-"Your
jokes are being copied into London
Punch"
"Mr. Gresham" said the Congress.
man from Milwaukee, "my friend
Col. Dinkelspiel, would like con,
sulship in England" Can he speak
the language2" asked the Secretary
of State.
He (anxiously)-"Do you think
your father would ever consent tc
our marriage?" She (carefully)-"]
don't know. Papa is just like al
other men-so | suppose he makes
mistakes sometimes"
First Behring Sea Seal.-"What
does modus uivendi mean. Whiskers?'
Second Behring Sea Seal-"It means
a way of living, Tusky?" First
Behring Sea Seal-"Then it's exactly
what we want, isn't it,"
'Do they ever have any sleighine
in Africa, papa?" asked Willie. "ThaI
all depends upon how you spell it
nay son." returned his papa. "They
go Staying every day of the year, i
you spell it with 'y.'"
"Dat's jess de way!" said Rastus
''Here rs stole and stole choking
for years an never got caught. Blu
de minnit goes an buys a hen TO
supper rs rested on s'picion. Hon
esty's de wust policy l ebber seed.
Fortune-teller-"Would you lik
a glimpse into the future9" Patrio
(who has not been appointed t.
office -"No. What 1 want is
glimpse into the past. 1 would lik
to know if l voted for Grover Cleve
land just for my health"
Housekeeper-"I don't see why
big able-b bodied man like you shout,
be begging for living" Tramp
'To tell yeh tn truth, mum, folks j
. becomin' SO hard-hearted that gen
has got ter be big an able-bodied t.
beg without gettin' hurt"
"Did you know that Flagdo
found himself locked out when h
went home at nine o'clock las
night, and his wife wouldn't opel
' the door" "Why?" "She didn'
recognize his voice, because she ha,
always done all the talking"
\ Perhaps for concentrated inaccu
e racy of statement nothing can SUI
pass the following sentence, whic
$ occurred in an account of burglar
i given in newspaper: after fruit
: less search, all the money was re
covered except one pair of boots"
ACQUISITION of Patience.-I've bee
sitting quietly on this fence jus
twenty-five minutes by the watch,
he said, watching that cat croucl
ing by that rat-hole, and she hash
SO much as moved an ear, for "
kept my eye on her steady. What