Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-12-16
A MOCK PRAYER.
The Offering of a Democratic Chair
man i'm Colorado.

man in Colorado.
Denver News.
The Democratic ticket in Gunnison
County was nearly all elected. A
prayer that Edwin Croke, MAYOR of
Irwin, made in the nominating con-
vention must have done the work. 1t
is too good to be lost and the News
reprints it as one of the gems of the
late campaign
TO ALMIGHTY CLEVELAND.
Previous to the close of the Demo-
cratic county convention, Edwin
Croke, mayor of Irwin, arose and all
the delegates reverently bowed their
heads while he offered prayer to AL
mighty Cleveland. The voice was
filled with emotion and the reporter
found it difficult to get every word.
But here it is
Oh, almighty and all powerful Cleve-
land, who art in Washington, when
not fishing ; thou who art the father
of Ruth and Ruth's sister, and of
Maria Halpin's boy, Oscar, and the
godfather of the Democratic party Gts
father wouldn own it if he were here,
we hail thy name as the great politi-
cal prophet of the century. We bow
down before thee in humble political
obedience. When thou sayest go, we
go when thou sayest come, we come
We have no desire but to serve thee.
If thou sayest black is white we will
swear to it and lick the everlastin
stuthn out of the man who disputes
it, When thou takest snuff we will
sneeze; when thou sayest free silver
we will echo thy words when thou
sayest gold, then gold it is. We are
Democrats after the improved modern
type Our business is to vote the
ticket and vote 'er straight What
is it to us whether we have free silver
OF not ? We are but dogs that eat the
crumbs that fall from our masters ia
Bile. When the crumbs fall, we wag
our tails when they fall fast, we wag
faster when they don't fall, we stand
and wait until they do. This is Democ-
racy. This is the kind of Democracy
which elected thee, our great and al
mighty Cleveland. Oh, most adored
master, we love thee for what thou
hast not done for us. We love thee.
Do with us as thou wilt. Though
wheat is but 40 cents bushel we love
thee {; though cotton is low we love
thee though thousands, millions,
are out employment, we love thee
though our children are clothed in
rags, we love thee though our wife,
the dear companion of our bosom, is
scantily dressed and looks so shabby
she can't go to church, we love thee
though we are sinking deeper in debt
and poverty is knocking at the door
and hunger is staring us in the face,
we love thee still. This shows our
great faith and love for thee, Our
wives and children we are willing to
sacrifice, even as the Hindoo mother
sacrifices her offspring by throwing it
under the crushing wheels of the Jug
gernaut. On, mighty Cleveland,
words cannot express our love for
thee. We love our party, too. What
care we about the many promises
madeo We know it promised free
silver, and we know it won't give it
to us, but we will stick to the party.
We know we said if it did not do the
things it promised to do we would
leave it, but we lied when we said it.
We thought then we had some man
hood about us, but we amt. We
have no independence. Thou, oh,
mighty Cleveland, hast all the man
hood and independence in the party.
Wear foolss, liar, lickspittles, mudsills.
We have no business to want any
thing or to say anything. Last wear
we favored free silver, and now we
have to oppose it. We favored it
then because we thought it was right.
We oppose it now, most adored mas
ter, because thou tellest us to. Amt
we honey of the first water2 Did
ever dog serve his master more faith
fully? Did ever a dog get less for it ?
Oh, mighty master, we are ever ready
to serve thee and party. All the pay
we ask is to be patted on the back by
some local politician and called a good
Democrat. We amt got any sense.
We don't want any, only enough to
vote the ticket 1t don't take anv
sense to be good Democrat What
a joyful thought We don't have to
think. We don't have to worry. |
Our work is all mapped out for US.
All that is expected is to do what we
are told. We thank thee for the
panic. We thank thee for the hungry |
and idle men and women in the land. |
We thank thee for low prices. We
thank thee for the banks that have
busted and the thousands of business
failures since thou hast come into
power. We thank thee for the hard |
times We thank thee for the rags
our children wear. We thank thee for |
the clothes our wife needs and can't |
get. We thank thee for what thou
hast done for the banker and what
thou hast not done for the people.
We thank thee for all these things be- |
cause it is our duty as a good Demo
crat to do so. 1t may be against the |
grain but we take our medicine. |
We will work our wives to death, !
starve our children, sacrifice our
homes, cruelty liberty, and kill pros |
perity, but will never go back on our
dear old party, and on thee. our most |
adored Cleveland. Thou art more
account than all of us put together.
Thou knowest more than the south |
and the west. Call us fools spit in
our faces wipe Your feet on Us we
viii love thee all the more And now
our great political father, we leave us
in thy care. DO with us as thou wilt.
Kick silver into the middle of the
next century; give more privileges
to the national banks issue more
bonds preserve the Mckinley bill
State banks foster trusts 4
bride Congressman with patronage
fish whenever thou carest to, and we
will indorse everything thou doest,
carry Cleveland ROSTERS, campaign
torches, and for evermore sing thy
praise. Amen.
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