Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-10-26
spr.nnles OF spice.

SORROWS are, or course, preserved
In the family jar.--Plain Dealer.
FLYING machines would prove more
profitable IL they came higher, -
Pittsburg Post.
The valley-dictorian generally
strives for the heights of eloQuence.
-Yonkers Gazette.
SOME men never cut much of fig
ure until they have been made an
example of. Troy Press,
The balance Of trade in the skirt
dancing business has again turn ed in
our favor. Washington Post
APPROXIMATELY enough in many
cases the husbands of grass widows
are straw men.--Philadelphia Times.
ROMEO was so madly in love thatlt
was no wonder he gave the core Of
his heart to the apple Of his eye. -
Buffalo Courier.
The Chicago papers are trying to
give Thomas lessons in music, but he
appears to take no note of them. -
indianapolis News.
SIM not In It," murmured the
crlnoline girl as she gazed at the
hoopsklrt In a prominent store. -
Philadelphia Record.
DUDELY-She said | looked like a
very smart man. Miss Paynt- Dear
mel Did she say who the smart man
WASP -Harper's Bazaar.
IT Is a long lane that has no turn
ing, but the broker who is on the
outside often finds 1t hard to get
around the corner. Buffalo Courier.
SUIToR-l have come, sir, to ask
you to give me your daughters hand.
Paterfamilias-Why, sir, when last
saw it, 1t was in your possession, -
Chips.
THE West will blow. 1t now tries
to Offset the big horse1y of the East
by referring to the houseny comm IN
there In the cyclone season, --Phila-
delphia Times.
BEATRICE--I hear that Mr.. Sapley
is suffering from brain-fever Jones
Il guess not. He hasn't the raw
material necessary for brain-fever. -
Brooklyn Life.
WHILE a division fence isn't the
most sensational or exciting thing in
the world 1t frequently furnishes the
neighbors something to talk oven
Buffalo Courier
MoTHER--Children, have you said
your prayersP Tllly-Yes, mammal
"You were very quick about It," II
prayed one half and Daisy the other. Z"
Texas Siftings.
The Debutante (aside)-How many
verses shall l singP The Professor
Do you want an encore? The Debu,
tant--Of course. Tho Professor
One. Boston Budget.
DUDELEIGH - "You don't know
what you are talking about when you
call me a donkey" Miss Kitty
Fresh-"Yes, 1 do. used to own a
donkey."-Brooklyn Life.
BRIoasz--What did you tell your
wife when you got home so late Tues
day night? Brags-I told her she
was the sweetest woman in the
world. indianapolis Journal.
HoUsENLoT-@Thls scare Is non.
sense. The country is all right "
Putencall-"Don't doubt 1t; but
what's troubling me is how to get
money enough to enjoy it. Vogue.
MRS. TBDdINs Ito her caller)--Yes,
l was connected with the Board OF
Lady Managers. Mr.. Timmins (who
has entered unpercclyed) - Hsh,
Maria! Let the dead past be for
gotten.
CONGRESSMAN BoATNER is the fast
est talkerin the House, SO much so
that the stenographer5 find many an
impeachment in his speech after they
have taken it down. Philadelphia
Ledger.
JERsEYMAN -"M Monmouth county
has several voters over hundred
years DID," Stranger--"Welll Well!
Not many railroad crossings at grade
there presume. - New York
Weekly.
Edna: What do you suppose makes Tom
write such awfully gushing letter5G Kate {:
Oh, / suppose he uses fountain pen.
Pugilists' records should be lept In q
scrap-book.
MF VMmNMM