The Sully County watchman. (Clifton, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1894, 1893-01-07
WIT AND HUMOR. e

A fruit jar-The one you get when
you slip upon banana skin-Jester.
The widow is not always as mourn
Money talks, except when it is shut
up" in bad Texas SIT
ings.
The pawnbroker's window is the
commeanest type of loan exhibitions.
PHILADELPHIA Record.
The beer glasses of some bars are
SO small they are spoken of as temper
ance measures. Hotel M01t.
Never believe all the good man
says of himself nor all the bad he
says about his neighbors. -1eras Sitl-
sngs.
The man who has not acquitted
himself very creditably often expects
the Judges to acquit him. ssFonker's
| Statesman.
Beggar-Have you copper you can
spare, sir? Carleton-Yes, you will
find him in the kitchen making love
to the cook.
Il am very popular" said the chrys-
anthemum. Nearly every man that
sees me wants to buttonhole me-
Washington Star.
| Visitor-How does the land lie out
this way? Native-It amt the land
that lies, sir; it's the land agents.
Philadelphia Record.
! She-Has Brown baby at his
house9 l guess not. / heard him
| praising another mans baby short
time ago. .-Brooklyn Life.
Assuming that money is the cause
of all human misery it is remarkable
! to observe how many men are ready
to borrow ble.- Washington Post
Gowit-What. you broke, Brolly. I
thought you had a snug sum in the
bank for rainy day? Brolly-So I
had; but it rained on the bank
Puck.
Tramp (to lady of the house
Where is the bossp Lady of the House
calling to her husband John, tell
the servant girl she is wanted-N Y
Press.
Photographer-Don't like your pic
ture! Why, you couldn't have a bet
ter likeness. Sitter--That's just what's
the matter, confound it.-Bostpn Tran
script
Fannie-I don't see how Mrs. Frank
ley can love such man as her hus-
band is, do you? Hattie-No; but
think of his millions. Detroit Free
Press.
He--Don't you think that co-educa-
ton leads to good many marriagesp
She-Well, what is marriage itself ex-
cept species of co-education?-I
annapolis Journal.
Wife-Do you think Tommy dis
turbs our neighbors with his drum.
Husband--l'm afraid SO; they made
him present of nice new knife to-
day Broohtym Life.
She-You are very polite to yawn SO
in my presence. He-My dear friend.
husband and wife are one and the
same, and when | am alone | am
bored.-Le Figaro.
"Who," inquired the office hauoht-
lily, "is the mistaken person who said
| ought TO seek the man? Why, I
don't even have to publish want
ad. - Washington Star.
Fortescue-They are still consider
ing the possibility of having grand
opera this winter, but it will probably
be all talk. Bilyardcue-Thats what
it was last winter.-Puch.
"I've changed my mind twice to-
day." said Willie Washington. well"
said his brutal friend, you don't mean
to say that you got the worst of the
trade?"- Washington Star.
Little Boy - Don't Quakers ever
fight? Mamma-No, my dear Little
Boy CATER refection) i should think
it would be awful hard for a real bio
Quaker to be Il Quaker. = Good Neaos.
drummer The Afghans consider
smoking greater otfense than MUIR
der. Gilleland Dear me! Some one
must have unloaded some Brooklyn
cigars on them at some time.-N. Y.
Herald.
Could you make it convenient to
lend me 500, Jack? | don't know.
If | should lend it to you l should be
man OF some distinction" "How is
that'' Gone out of hundred.
Yarmouth Item.
Hayseed-These New -Yorkers ies'
rush themselves to death. Whv on
,arth do they kill themselves that way?
Mrs. Hayseed Land sakes they've
got to: Think of the rents they pay.
N. Y Weekly.
"Hello!" exclaimed the man from
Chlcago as he stood before the Wash
lngton Monument. That's pretty
good elevator shaft. When are they
gong to put up the rest of the build
lng'"- Washington Star.
There was once sky-kickino and
5round-tackling hyperbole: You may
Jake my head for football" The
march OF civilization has developed
manlr rnaS ,n,o a reality among our gentle
Recorder.
Mrs. Hunter want a GIRL. and
possibly you might do. Have you had
my experience? Domestic Importa-
'lon-l lxparience is it? Faith, and
haven't Vi been in no less than twinty