The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1893-08-29
TIE FUSSY HOSTESS.

u the present Gays our nerves are
n good deal shaken, and We chiefly seek
either complete rest or intense excite
ment The fussy hostess bores US.
She neither soothes Us nor a1nnses US
She entirely lacks repose. When you
enter her drawing-room she welcomes
you with so much effnslon that it be-
comes nauseating. She is generally
q transparent humbug. She talks
chiefly in italics. She is so glad to
see YOU; and when You rise to take
your departure she oegs you to 1e aaln.
"Oh, don't go. Must you reollys It's
quite early" So Que has tc frame ex-
cuses to get away-and excuses, espec-
tally lame ones are so fatigulng.
When her visitors have drifted into
pleasant conversation, she Interrupts it
by fresh introdnctions. Sic swoo s
down upon you when you least expect
her, carries yon of, and presents you,
labelled, to someone you do not want
to know, and who has no burning de-
sire to know you. "Let me introduce
Mr.. Jones, he's so fond OF -" Gen
orally an art about which the gentle
man has no Ideas, beyond realizing
what he likes.
At the house of fussy hostess l
once met three friends of mine who
were unknown to one another-an
actor, a novelist, and a yonng journal
ist. "Now I know you will like each
other so mucn," she said as she intro
duced them. "Really, how fortunate
l am this afternoon, for you see have
q apeit-known actor, O great novelist.
and RISING journalist; [ feel have
salon." Strange to say, the three men
had never heard of each other, and
they all told me, in moments OF con
f :ence afterwards. that they longed TO
creep under the sofa. The pause IN
the conversation OF the rest Of the
party after the hostess speech was GER
talnly not made less appalling, by the
silence OF the three distinguished peo-
ple who had been labelled into lifeless-
ness by her stupidity. If she intro
duces you to young girl she tells you
in a stage Whisper that she is 'tsaDcetIy
pretty" if it is al older she will pcssi-
bly, say, Il do so want you to know
her, she's very clever and most use
full" In the first case you will proba-
bly, find yourself trying to see beauty
in an ordinary and self-ccnscious
schoolgirl, and the elder lady will talk
you down and patronize you.
The fussy hostess rarely sits down.
That, one would not mind if she would
only allow her visitors to remain at
anchor for five consecutive minutes.
II she wears train she either kicks it
constantly or allows it to take Its
chance; when it takes its own sweet
way it is generally wrapped round the
leg of a chair or of man. Ihe
chair, as rule, will fall, but the man
has to smile. When she appears IN a
short gown she reminds me of one OF
those horrible dolls that walk by
machinery. suddenly taking three or
four unexpected steps when you think
they have "run down."
Her rooms are usually in artistic cup
to date" Everything looks fresh from
the shop. The furniture and decora-
tions are as jerky as herself The tussy
hostess does not give very good dinners.
She is one of those to whom William
Morris cries out in vain, "If you can
not afford real work of art, do not put
up with an imitation one. Learn to do
without"
Her dinners are as far from that real
art as her decorations. She has lnVurl-
ably scrambled through every picture
gallery, aud seen all the new plays.
Her opinions upon what she sees are an
ola podr:da of other folks ideas
which she carefully culls from conver-
versations and plumbers from papers
She is we'll read; she gets the authors a
little mixed and tho plots of stnrIe3
hopelessly entangled with the deta Is
of books of biography and travel, but
that is due to her "dreadfwt men,
ory."
The fussy hostess is often idol;zed ny
very young men. 1t is their privilege
not to see through her. She has so
many pretty little ways OF gratifying
their vanity. She greets them some
times with both hands, and very young
men like that; she calls them "naughty,
naughty boys" and they love that. 1t
MAJ es them feel they are men, when a
woman of the world talks to them as If
they had a nice long sullied past Of
questionable cong ests.
She is always a managing woman.
She is ambitious in feeble way. She
is never in society. Her husband is
usually very dulI-probably the result
of long years OF enforced silence, for
he is always talked at, or talked for. l
always shake hands with him with q
muttered coincidence. II the fussy
hostess is firt in addition to her other
accomplishments, leave cards whenever
youcan politely void visiting.