St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-04-23
EATING MECHANICALLY.
The Waiter Does Everything but
Swallow the Food and Drink.

The waiter DOCS Every tHihS O"0
Swallow the Food and Drink.
On a recent evening big man with
heavy walk entered well-known cafe
on upper Broadway and sank YEARLY
into chair at a table. says the New
York Sun. He was about fifty years
old, and had the appearance of high
liver. Ills face had the peculiar pur-
pIish-red color which is sometimes
ascribed to burgundy and sometimes to
champagne, but is always due to In
diligence of the appetite for good
things. His movements Indicated tnat
he felt sluggish, and 1t would have Gre
ated no surprise in the observer to have
been told that he was liable TO apOpleXy.
He seemed preoccupied, and glanced
llStlesSly about the room. Presently
waiter came up to him. He was about
the same age as the man at the table,
but was quick and active.
Good morning, Mr.. JONES'" he said,
briskly. I'VE have some nice turtle
soup and some excellent roast grouse"
"All right, James," said the other alb
systematically.
"Some potatoes chateau and lettuce
salad?"
Eyes"
The waiter went away and returned
presently with some illustrated papers,
which the man took from him without
so much as looking up. The soup was
brought on and ladIed out by the waiter,
who then took the napkin and spread 1t
carefully over the mans lap. He brought
on a glass of sherry, although the man
had said nothing about 1t, and set 1t
down beside his plate. The man did
not notice it, but began to eat his soup
greedily. -.
You are forgetting your sherry, sir, :"
said the waiter, respectfully.
Mechanically the diner reached out
and carried the glass to his lips. The
waiter watched him as carefully as
a mother does her child, filled the
glass of water when it was empty,
replaced the napkin when 1t slipped
down, and in other ways saw to 1t that
the diner was comfortable. The soup
was followed by the roast, potatoes and
some celery. The latter had not been
ordered, either. The grouse was carved
by the waiter, who also served the pOta-
toes and picked out the tender pieces OF
celery.
do you want your champagne,
sir?" he asked.
.'What champagne" demanded the
diner, QuerulOuSly.
You have half bottle left from last
night, sir"
bring 1t on, then"
The waiter returned with a half
empty bottle. A rubber cork tightly
pressed into the mouth had preserved
the sparkle. Through the remainder of
the meal the waiter never relaxed his
watchfulnesS, although he had to wait
Oh two other tables. When the diner
had finished his coffee he started to rise.
The waiter, who happened to be at
another table, rushed to his side.
"Wait moment, Mr.. Jones" he said ;
"you must take your pepsin."
Then why the devil don't you bring
it?"
fright away, sir"
In moment he had rushed ont Of the
room and returned speedily with bot
tie and a spoon. He mixed up dose in
a glass and handed it to the man, who
drank it with a wTy face. Then the
waiter brought a finger bowl and ci-
gar, of which he cut off the end. He
waited until the man had slowly put it
between his lips and then he struck a
match and applied the light. The man
pulled so slowly that the match had
scorched them before the cigar was
thoroughly lighted. The waiter now
helped the man on with his OvercOat,
adjusted his silk muffier, buttOned up
the coat and handed him his cane.
Good night, Mr.. JONES'" said the
waiter, as the man toddled away. An
indistinct mumbling was the only re-
ply.
The head waiter explained. THAT
man JONES'" said he, "has been
coming here for fifteen years and al
ways has the same waiter. He's {
grouty man, but not bad-heartad. He:
a chronic dyspeptic, but you see he
won't deny himself much. You noticed
he did't tip the waiter? That's because
he pays him once week and gener
| ously. He pays his meal checks thu
same way. The waiter knows his habit:
absolutely, and, as you saw, does not re
quire any orders. He knows that hC
wants certain things always, and under
stands his tastes well enough to be ablC
to suggest satisfactory menu ever
time. 1 have an idea the old fellow vii
remember his waiter in his will. III
| gives him lois of presents, as well h.
| might, for the waiter does about every
thing except eat and drink for him."