The record-union., 1893-06-22

play faro for a spice of excitement,
with big stakes. They visit Europe
every year or two, spending most of their
time in Paris or London, cultivating in
the latter city few disreputable noble
men whose acquaintance they have made.
1hey travel very little in their own land,
feeling almost no interest in it, its admin
lstration or it's affairs. They know much
less of Brooklyn and Albany than of
Vienna and Rome, and of scores of thriv-
ing towns in the interior they are COM
pactly ignorant. They go to Washington
and Chicago at long intervals for some
social purpose, and make various fishing
and hunting excursions to Canada and
the West. But they never travel here to
see the country, to note its progress or
observe its characteristics They have
general notion that the West is barbar-
Gus; that true civilization indeed is con-
fined to Manhattan Island and few
chosen localities i'll the Northeast They
who live on the island are Manhattan
cockneys, and want to speak scornfully
of other places on this continent. They
really think that south of the Ohio River
the men are white savages who pick their
teeth with bowie-knives and carry revol-
vers in the legs Of their boots.
NO SUNSHINE IN THE WEST.
The broad, intelligent, enterprising
West they regard as a wild region in
which the men eat with their knives,
dine in their shirt-sleeves and wash
themselves at the public pumps. The
women wear sun-bOnnets and high-col-
ored calico wrappers for full dress; have
compIexions like yellow parchment, and
speak strange, rustic dialect which no.
body living on the Hudson would COM
prehend without an interpreter. When
they hear anything about art. letters,
music or society beyond the Mississippi
they smile in contempt and wonder
whether trontiersman, as they would
name a Western man, could distinguish
between a Madonna OF Raphael and a
cheap Wood-cut Of a dancing girl in a
mining town. An elegant woman from
Missouri or Kansas would, If she were
spoken of in their presence, seem to them
ike an elegant Lemang or Papuan.
Their ignorance of the republic is deplor-
able and incredible, but such minds as
they have are closed to illumination on
the subject, for they have no interest be-
yond the bounds of their own person
ality.
AS a rule they are Anglomaniacs. Hav-
ing some acquaintance, as has been said,
with British lOrdlings. they are familiar
with the peerage OF the British aristoc-
racy. They are very fond of talking of
the English nobility and of their slight
relation to them, which they exaggerate
! lulO tH0 BT6dl6SL 1noY appear
anxious to convey the impression that
they are on confidential terms with every
member of the privileged class, aud that
most of the dukes are their warm per-
sonal friends. They are volubIe about
seats, country houses, shooting boxes,
and will prattle on such topics by the
hour. If anyone asks them if they are
connected by marriage or otherwise with
some family of rank they never suspect
satire, but answer negatively, with some
thing like flush OF pride or pleasure at
the effect they have produced. They fire.
quently express the opinion that London
is the sole city of the world IN which a
gentleman can live satisfactorily, and re-
gret that this country is so new, so raw
so uniformed. Their conversation con-
tinually tends to transatlantic themes
and transatlantic voyages. They are as
learned in steamer lines and literature as
if they had been stewards in every
vessel.
Although the usual extent of the line
age is that their father or grandfather was
a poor, llliterate boy, who set out as
mechanic or small trader or railway
brakeman, and by lucky accident or
talent for money making rolled up
fortune, they speak grandiloquently of
blood. They are prone to telling how
many generations are needed to make a
gentleman and kindred rubbish. 4
IuOuSduu R0D6IdlIOHS Vi lOdu-GdIGIS anu
tuit-hunters like them would make moth
ing but parasites and scullions. They
gabble so much and so audaciously about
gentlemen, without understanding the
first elements of their constituents. that
any one of the DETAINED class would be
justified in exposing them ruthlessly.
But they need no exposure; they expose
themselves. Many Of the cad class are
neither rich in fact nor in prospect, but
they aspire to be thought so. Failing
by any scheme of their own, matrf-
monlal or otherwise. to acquire income,
they are especially insistent on lineage
commonly fictitious. They evolve family
trees from their Imagination, naming the
exact date OF the seventeenth century
when their English ancestors settled on
these shores. And they take particular
pains that not one of their forefathers
shall be mechanic or common person.
This they can easily manage, as they
make their line to suit their preiudices.
If they set up coupe on Tuesday they
begin to enlarge on their coachman on
Thursday, to induce the belief that they
have always been accustomed to carriages.
Learning this week of new brand of
champagne, they declare next week that
1t has long been their favorite and that
they cannot dine without it. Their per-
petual boasting deceives nobody, of
course, but, as they never find it out, thew
NObtiAdC W LIohO bIOLllSSANGS IlOlCuIOuS
to the last.
The cad is frequently not fool at the
start, but he cannot help becoming one
ultimately. Years of sycophancy. pre-
tense, fawning and Justification will un-
dermlne any man mentally and morally.
He deteriorates with age. There is no
hope of his reformation. Having sur
rendered his manhood he cannot recover
it if he wishes, and he does not wish to.
Once a cad, always a cad. He is an
anomalous compound in this broad,
breezy, hustling country, and it is to be
hoped that he will gradually die out on
the principle of the extinction of the un-
ittest. Essentially and individually un-
American, he is fungus on the body
polite; is despised alike by natives and
foreigners and stunned soon or late bv
every body but his own meretricious or
der. The sole pretext he can have for as
suming to be gentleman may be his be-
lief that a gentleman is not a man, which.
all who have known him will admit he
cannot be.
Nervous Dyspepsia.
Sanafor Tan1ns f piaroa Of Nav Vorl-