Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-10-16
JUST FOR FUN.

1t won't be long until the coal deal
er's victims find him lying in weight
for them once more.
Harmony is all right in it's place, but
the barber and his razor should never
undertake to pull together.
"When the fire had reached three
stories, the firemen got it under con-
troll" "Out on third SO to speak?n
"What is your idea of a poet?o she
asked. IA poet" he replied, is a man
who is long on hair and short on cash."
She II suppose you would have
been happier if you had not married
me? He = Yes, darling, but I wouldn't
have known it.
she is a miss with a mission" "Ah?"
"And her mission is seeking a man
with a mansion"
"Do you do any magazine work,
Scribe?" eyes. My magazine work
is the hardest I have" "What do you
do?" sI read 'em."
Mr.. j. P. Blaize, an extensive real estate
dealer in Des Moines, Iowa, narrowly escaped
one of the severest attacks of pneumonia
while in the northern part of that state dur
ing a recent blizzard, says the Saturday Re
u5eW. Mr.. B1aize had occasion to drive sever
al miles during the storm and was so thor
oughly chilled that he was unable to get
warm, and inside of an hour after his return
he was threatened with a severe case of pneu-
monia or lung fever. Mr.. Blaize sent to the
nearest drug store and got a bottle of Cham
b%erlain's Cough Remedy, of which he had Of
ten heard, and took a number of large doses.
He says the effect was wonderful and in a
short time he was breathing quite easily He
kept on taking the medicine and the next day
was able to come to Des Moines. Mr.. Blaize
regards his cure as simply wonderful. For
sale by III. G. Pierce.
"You have a natural ability for act
ing Vauchump. What ever kept you
off the stage?" "The stage manager,
my boy" replied Vauchump.
Hicks: zone of the stories adver-
tises a list of 1 1000 new for girls"
Mrs. Hicks-"Stop in and get it; I've
called ours all I can think Of"
The Boston Globe says the "ship of
finance waits for the wind" We
should say she was likely to get it from
the present outlook in congress.
"Do you v have any rats on your
boat, Mr.. Jiggs?" asked Miss Smyther.
"Never," returned Jiggs. ''They're
afraid of my boat. It's a cat boat"
Mr.. Shopper (boastingly) 81 carry
my life in my hand" Miss Giddey
with a glance at the size of his hand)
81 should say your life was safe"
Housed eeper-"Here is a telegram;
your nephew is dead" Property Own
er with a growD = ,Humph! Now, 1
guess he wants money to bury himself
with"
Costumes is the cause of the into1erable
chad BREATH of multitudes. Dr.. Henry Bax-
ter's Mandrake Bitters remove the cause and
prevent the evil, and cost only Is cents.
He desperately -"Will you have
some ice cream?" She (dreamily) =
81 don't think I care for any this eve
it be; lemon or vanilla?"
First New Yorker: $50 you have
got back from Chicago. I suppose you
learned a great deal" Second
New Yorker: "Weil I've learned how
get along on one meal a day.
A graphic reporter of a Boston pa
per in describing a suicide, says: 1t is
quite certain that he was unmarried,
and there is absolutely no apparent
motive for the self destruction.
[ tell you that idleness don't pay.
The surest way for a person to get
ahead is to keep moving. Guess you're
That's the way four or five
tenants got ahead of me last week.
NhEEHpaA EAxxz .G>u