Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-09-25
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

The man who had himself shipped
to Chicago in a trunk has returned
strapped. Boston Herald.
Appearances are deceitful A mild
glance has been known to come from
cross eye. ye.-Boston Transcript.
Smithson-"W -"What time havo you
got?" The Financier (despondently)-.
"Thirty days at six per cent. Chi
cago Record.
Minnie-"Did he kiss you when 40
proposed?" May - "Certainly;
wouldn't consider any but sealed pro-
posals. Vogue.
81 understand Jigson is financially
interested in the concern he is with"
"Yes, they owe him six months salary"
-Westfeld Union.
1t is strange how many millions can
be dropped on the Board of Trade
without any coin rolling out of the
corners. Chicago Journal.
Husband Qistening) 81 think there
is n burglar in the house. d" Wife Tex
citedly) Mercy me Is my night
cap on straight ''-SomervilleJ Journal.
Four French sportsmen fired stimuli
taneously at rabbit, but it escaped
then they asked all together 81 won-
der who missed that time" pitt Bits.
at is funny thing that what is the
sailors Joy is the actors SORROW"
mused Haverly. "What is that?" asked
Austen. "a light house. New York
Herald.
Beatrice--'I hear that Mr.. Sapley
is suffering from brain fever" Jones
-"I guess not He hasn't the raw
material necessary for brain fever. -
Brooklyn Life.
Jinks-"Ardup has wonderful
memory" Blinks- Chow do you
know?" Jinks-"He drew an excel
lent picture of dollar the other day"
Chicago Tribune.
She-"What strange weather we are
having this summer" He-"Yes, but
if you remember, the summer of 80
was just such another" She--"Sir !"
---Pearson's Weekly.
"Did your new cook bring good rec
concentrations from her last employ
err" '1'm going to find out as soon
as she has an afternoon ut home. -
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Williamson--"Di the man you
bought TINT mule from say that he
wouldn't kick?" Henderson--"No;
but he would have said so if | had
asked him. "-Brooklyn Life. r
Prisoner" "But would rather tell
my own story. Don't you think it
would be believed" Lawyer-.''Yes,
that's the trouble. 1t would carry
conviction with it. "-Harlom Life.
"That play of Rankleys have any
kind of run?" 81 should remark
Company beat the audience to the
town limits by just ten feet the first
place they tried it. Buffalo Courier.
Neighbor's Boy NAV sent me over
to ask if you'd lend her your bottle O.
cough medicine. Mrs Kneer-'You
tell your mother we keep our cough
medicine strictly for home consump-
tion. Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Trotterly-"Could you marry
very old man with good deal of
money if he told you frankly how old
he was and how much he was worth ?"
Miss Timely --"How much is he worth?"
Vogue.
'Did it seem homelite at the hotel
where you stopped, and" "Freated
me like one of the family; took my
trunk into the proprietor's room first
thing" ''For joke, wasn't it?" ''No,
for q board bill. - Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
Hotel Clerk--''What were YOU
pounding on the floor of No. 70 lust
now for !" Bellboy--"To wake the
man. He wants to go on the o'clock
train. " Clerk-"Didn'td II tell you
that the train was five hours late 90
Bellboy--''Yee, but how was the man
goln' to know it unless somebody told
him?"-Chicago Hotel World.