The record-union., 1893-10-24
VAGDAL At THE FAIR.
How He Sighs for the Ruins of Older
Countries.

But He Manages TO Deface and Steal
Some of the Historical
Exhibits.
CHICAGO, Oct. 20.-The vandal is not
an extinct species. He IS found, of
course, at the fair. After his many sum-
mers in Europe, in the midst of towers
and arches, the fair is disappointment
TO him. Many Of the buildings repeI
him by the movable quality of their ex-
hibits. He will have none of them.
Racks OF silk cocoons, trays OF wax fruits,
bits of wood carved into fantastic shapes;
hundreds Of such articles are on every
side unguarded and ne turns from them
in scorn.
He viii not steal. He would be shocked
into speeohless rage by the insinuation
that he might pocket some pretty triiie.
In his secret soul he thinks such pilfer-
Ings as plebian as the acceptance Of a
''Take One" advertisement.
In his consciousness of honest intent he
wanders sadly through the various build
ings. How bare of poetic interest,"" he
murmurs as he lifts his eyes to lofty pill
lars and thinks of the unsatisfactory
lump OF staff that would reward his ham
mer.
The fisheries building he accepts with
the air Of a martyr. AS he carefully
wraps up the lizard head Clipped from a
pillar at the front entrance he sighs to
think that ii is but staff and not yet ten
months old. The mysterious structures
of an unknown race that stand on the
grounds OF the chronological exhibit invite
him. The OrnamentatiOn in its very
roughness invites his facile hammer, but
the ruins are at best but reproductions.
He turns away with q crushing sense
that life is not worth hving-withOut
Euro pc and ruins.
The Plaisance attracts him with Oriental
suggestions. His hammer lies unused
and knife or scissors feel the touch of his
graSping hand. The Turkish fabrics
claim him. He fain would clip a bit
from the corner of the oldest carpet. The
embrOideries dazzle his eyes. He marks
them as his prey, but learns that they
are constantly produced, some Of those
now for sale being made within the year.
Notwithstanding the discouraging fact
he clips a flower from rare piece OF
needle-Work and barely escapes the wrath
of the salesman who is not Turk, but
one of those followers Of Father \ braham
who have never accepted the prophet.
The vandals conscience hurts him be-
cause the needle-work is so new, but one
must occasionally disregard the voice OF
conscience. he does so now as he puts
away the dainty bit, but he wishes
paCra's needle were real. OF course he
furnishes himself with Worlds Fair
relics enough 10 supply himself and his
descendants for the next 400 years, but
their present worth as relics is very
small. When q man can say My great,
great, twenty-seyen times great grand
father brought this from the Worlds Fair
800 years ago" the broken bits will be of
incalculable value. Even now they are
not worthless, except that fair relics are
so common, and their acquisition mat
ter OF such ease.
1t is to be expected that the vandal will
ride in sedan chair and slyly chisel Oft
a momento 1hereirom. He will attend
the congresses and secure the finger or
told from the garment Of some luClIlesS
statue. Old Mount Vernon has its attrac-
tions. Nellie Custis' spinnet is not under
glass, though the smaller relics are. He
eyes them hungrily as he reads their
labels in the glass case in tie library. If
it were transpOrtable, he would carry off
the hole through which Lady Washing
toms cat found entrance TO the room of
her afflicted mistress.
From WashingtOn's home to the State
of Washington he goes, there to appro-
pirate u bit of coal from the largest piece
ever mined. In the Kansas Building he
secures some hairs from the tail Of Cen
eral Custer's horse. Few of his acquisi-
tions are more satisfactory than this. A
bit OF the old oX-cart before the Dakota
Building goes into his collection. He
waits long for a chance to get bit Of
plush from President Diaz' chair in the
Woman's Building. A guide stands
him who waits"
At last he wanders round to the Cali
forna State Building. With supreme
contempt he giances at the pyramids Of
fruit. OF what interest to him are the
largest grapes that ever grew, so long as
they are in glass? He would not object
to a bit of bronze from MarshalIs boot,
but that is insignificant beside the chance
the gallery offers him. Here are the old
Wells-Fargo boXes-splendid chance to
clip bit, but he passes on to the histori-
cal department
His face lights up, his whole frame is
tense with excitement. He seats himself
upon an old worm-eaten bench marked
thus: This bench was made by the In
dian converts of the San Luis Rey Mis-
sion in I710." Auspicious moment: no
one is nearl The next, and be is the
proud possessor of a priceless bit Of
worm-eaten wood. This department in
vites him. He wanders round, sorry to
note how much is out of reach behind
glass. The locks and keys - like the
krupp gun-at which he looks longing,
are hard to file. Don Pio Pico's family
wardrobe is in a case, and so are the In
dian relics.
He wanders back, thinking to get an
other bit Of the precious bench. Wonder
of wonders! how did it escape him the
first time? Here is door of one Of the
old Mission converts, nearly as old as the
bench Itself. Happy vandal This world
is not yet q sucked orange.
Mrs Hart, who is in charge of the Cali
fornia historical display, is debating
whether TO put the bench into glass
case along with the door. to prevent the
two from being carried off in the pockets
of the various members of the vandal
family, or simply to rope them in with
"hands Off" motto above. The bench
has served as a seat for visitors to this de-
parUment, but the conduct of the vandal
has so cut the venerable relic that it re-
fuses TO be sat upon longer by yandal or
any Of his kin.
This may never come to the knowledge
of the vandal. He will go on knife in
hand. scissors in pocket, spelling our
rarest possessions, and complaining be-
cause there are no ruins in America.
LAURA b. EVERETT.