New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-12-06
"wednesday, December 6, 1898.
Homeward Comes Our Hoge.

80 HOmeward Comes Our HOge.
), AS Colonel j. Hampton Hoge comes
: pounding eastward against head winds
and the thickest kind of weather, the
President has abundant leisure in which
to consider what shall be done with HIM
when he reaches port. At present he is
storm bound in Ell Paso, some 1000
miles from here, west by south, as we say
aloft. He has lost his rudder, his an
chors drag, and his cargo is afloat in
bilge. A very particularly damaged and
dilapidated claft he is, and many weary
days must pass ere Mr.. Cleveland, glass
in hand, shall sight him in the off'ng.
Meanwhile let Us reflect: Colonel j.
Hampton is the naughty Virginian Ca
Waller whom the President several months
ago appointed to the consulate of Annoy,
China. It was observed of Colonel Hoge
soon afterward that, having received his
papers and set the wheels of salary in
motion, he lost much of that fervor
which hho previously possessed him for
official exile. It leaked out that he was
devoting his large and versatile attain
ments to the requirement of gaudy
wardrobe at the expense Of an optimis-
tic Washington tailor. There was wild
rumor to the effect that, acting in the
interest of prohibition, the Colonel had
undertaken to consume all the rum IN
the United States before he left it to its
fate. And finally, about the time that
Colonel Hoge reached San Francisco with
a trousseau in which he felt able to meet
the gaudiest dude in all Mongolia, and
with a conviction that so far he had let
no guilty drink escape, 1t became known
that he had been recalled to Washington.
Some said that there was trouble about a
certain checque subscribed by the Colonel
but returned with an unfeeling lndorse-
IleuC VI mo IuuuS. OCHeIS OcCldieu
that Mr., Cleveland's heart had failed
him at the last moment, and that he had
called the Colonel back for one more kiss
before he sailed entirely. The order,
however, Was issued, and the Colonel,
caught on the fly, as it were, rebounded
in an easterly direction. He is coming
coming slowly, laboriously and painful
forthcoming. We shall eventually have
him once more Sin our midst" and some
day we shall know why Mr.. Cleveland
stopped him on the threshold of the sea
and jerked him fondly Litherward.
AS we have said, the Colonel is ad-
vancing with difficulty. At last accounts
he had reached Ell Paso in distress. Like
another famous Southern statesman, al
ready shrined in history, he didn't know
where he was at, and he has since been
sleeping on the situation. We are told
that the thoughtful people there would
like to expedite him. There seems to
be in that far off Texas town a loving
wish to push the Colonel further on and
join him with his idol. His truly real
endeavor in the cause Of prohibition has
fatigued him, and like prophet resting
from his toll he slumbers. People fin
curing mind are anxiously awaiting news
from Hoge. lie is, perhaps, the sweet
est and juiciest fruit of the political mil
lennium, and there is general and deep
anxiety to sample him.
May angry winds subside! May fogs
and all untoward things disperse! And,
then, may gentlest zephyrs watt him over
tranquil seas to happy riding at safe an
choraSe! Everybody longs for Hoge.
Everybody wants to see the fair, clean
lines and raking shrouds Of the prcttiest
craft that ever bent sail or shipped a
jag.-New York Tribune.