davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
Why He Was Feeling BADLY.

A reporter was the only passenger
in a street car. Midway Of block
another man got in. His hat was
crushed and his clothing daubed with
mud. For time he sat silent. Then
he hitched up toward the reporter
and began, II guess I'm the biggest
fool running loose i'll this town.
500" answered the newspaper
man.
Yes, sir. I haven't got sense
enough to be let go without guar
deem. Sec that car on ahead therel"
The car was half a dozen blocks
away.
WAL, cir, l ran like sixty for
more'n a block to ketch that car"
Couldn't catch it, eh2
eyes, | could. That's the trouble.
l did kctch it, an gin the conductor
a dime on the hind platform, an he
gin me nickel change. Then some
how up an dropped the nickel over
board. l hollered to the conductor
to stop, but he wouldn't, So l ups
and jumps off backwards Look at
my clo'es! When l got up that car
was out o. reach, so had to wait for
this one"
Did you find your nickeli'
"Oh, yes; found that right enough.
Lost my car, split my cloes and
skinned my back jest for the privi-
lege of pickin up that five cent piece
an givin it to this conductor. New
York Herald
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
Physical Exercise.

Dr. Sargent estimates that the pur-
suit of outdoor sports is limited to
probably less than per cent. of our
vigorous Young men. Even among
the members of athletic organiza-
tions only 10 per cent. are really &C
tive. DR.. Sargent attributes the in
creasing lack Of interest to the grow
ing tendency among Americans, as a
people, to pursue sport as an end in
itself rather than SIS means to an
end. In making excellence in the
achievement the primary object of
athletic exercises they are robbed of
half their value in various ways-for
instance, by increasing the expenses
of training; by the devotins of too
much time to practice; by reducing
the number of active competitors;
by relying upon natural resources
rather than ON cultivated material;
by depriving the nonathletic indi
vidual of incentive to physical exer-
tons; by depriving the exercises of
their efficiency as means of health.
DR.. Sargent holds that the harmo-
NOUS development of the physique
and the building up and broadening
out of the highest types of manhood
and womanhood ought to offer in
ducement enough for each to work.
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

When arranging his books Renan
was accustomed to put on all old
coat, almost in rags. On the day
when he was for the first time to
meet the Due d'Aulnale at the acad-
eny he remembered the appoint
ment while thus busted, and without
remembering how he was dressed
took a cab to the academy. There
he had the usual cordial reception,
and had long talk with the new
academician.
On returning home, before Nine.
Renan had time to make any remark,
he said to her, II am just back from
the academy, and l don't know what
there is about me, but all my col
leagues, while exceedingly friendly,
had a surprised look" Nine. Renan
then called his attention. to his IL
brary coat. M de Blowitz in Lon
don Times.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
EONDNESS FOR AN fICLlMAx.
A Few of Many Examples Culled in tho
East and the West.

A Few OF Many Examples Culleo In tho
East and the West.
One of the most laughable fea-
lures about Rudyard Kipling's short
sketches of East Indians, and also
one of the truest to life, say those who
have lived in India, is the strong
tendency the natives have to uso the
most startling anticlilnaxes in their
formal speeches to one another, and
more especially when q native Of
low caste or great poverty petitions
a European for a favor. In the lat
ter case the speaker will say some
thing like this:
will the presence, whose reputa-
tion for justice is known from east
to west, and whose countenance
spreads JOY among his interiors, who
are as the sands of the seashore in
number, graciously deign to take
but an instant's notice of him who
has the almost delirious honor to
name himself one Of the most un-
worthy among the servants of the
protector of the poor, and will the
favorite son of the lord of the uni
verse magnanimously overlook my
amazing presumption in asking him
for the payment Of bill of two an
mas for hen feedl'
This sort of thing is not unknown
in this country among the people
who aim at grandiloquent manner
of speech and whose sense of the
ridiculous is not highly developed.
Courts presided over by unlettered
judges are especially prolific of ex-
amples. For instance, police JUS
tice is reported to have sought
to arouse sense of shame in
the breast of burly negro
prisoner in this way. Prisoner at
the bar. An all wise and all merci-
full Providence has endowed you
with an intelligent mind and pow
erful physique, instead of which
you spend your days in playing
craps and your nights in robbing
clotheslines!'
At another time the same justice
sought to impress upon a prisoner
who was about to testify in his own
behalf the solemn nature of an oath.
Assuming his most pompous tone, he
thus addressed the culprit: "Pris-
oner at the bar, in taking this sol
emn oath to tell the truth-the whole
truth and nothing but the truth
take care that you do not allow
yourself to be tempted by the dan
ger of your position to commit will
full perjury. Remember that the
eyes Of the all seeing Providence and
of the village constable are upon
you
Another judge in a rough and
ready but highly ambitious frontier
town, in commenting severely upon
the helnous crime of horse stealing,
thundered forth: For century after
century that dread command, Thou
shalt not stcal' has rolled along the
ages. 1t is, moreover, standing
rule of this court if not bylaw of
our progressive and soon to be incor-
poratcd city y"-New York Tribune.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
Lucky People.

There is one thing on which we
may congratulate oursclves-we who
are little-we who have escaped the
penalties of greatness That is some
thing. We may at least call our
souls our own. We may have a
taste for onions, raw or fried or
baked or boiled or anyhow, and yet
tho world shall not wonder at the
grossness of our appetites. ! saw in
an Australian journal the other day
that a certain English actress has a
taste for porter We may thank our
stars, we little ones, that the fact of
our having taste for porter is not
flashed around the electric girdles of
the globe. Smith, who passes his
days soaking at the bar of the Tip
piers Tryst, may congratulate him
self that lie belongs to the family of
the unknown Smiths. Nobody cares
how much he soaks except his wife
and family. Smith cares nothing
for what they think.
Here, in a French paper lying at
my side, is recorded the fact that a
well known politician is compelled
to wear a particular kind of boot,
owing to a peculiarly troublesome
corn which he has on his big toe.
Great Harry. Think if the eyes Of
the world those million Argus eyes
were on the corn on my big toe.-
All the Year Round.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
A Dog with 4 Passion for Papers.

A friend whose factory is not far
from London bridge had fine re-
triever which suddenly contracted
habit Of bringing i'll all the daily
papers and latest periodicals. The
owner was much exercised in mind
as to where the dog obtained this lit
erature and had a watch set upon
him.
1t was soon discovered that the ami
NAL went to London bridge station to
meet the people ON their way to busi-
ness, selected an unsuspecting VIC
tim, snatched the paper OF book
from his hand OF coat pocket, and
hied off to his master in high glee.
Swift punishment soon cured him of
his thievish propensities, and he was
not allowed even to carry any parcel
OF stick-an accomplishment which
had evidently melted him to robbery
with violence London Telegraph.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
No. 38
IN THE LOUVRE.
Experiences of u Traveller with an En-
thusja,tic "!,urlish' Guide,

Experiences of u Traveller with an En-
thusiastic "Enslish" Guido.
MY dear sir" says the guide,
"three francs an hover; show you
tings never see at all widout guide
He stands with his hat off, grasping
a blackthorn stick, his eastern cOun-
tenance wrinlSling into innumerable
smiles. l lock first at him and then
at the little man with his hands deep
in bulsy covert coat. Which shall
it be1 "My dear sir, Says the guide,
"'e doss not spik English, e is Cher
man. l am English guide" There
is something so simple and good hui
mored about him that, though l
know the Louvre pretty well as it
is, / fall an easy victim.
So we pass into the Pavilion de
rHorloge. II am English guide
says my friend excitedly, hourishing
his blackthorn. He was born at
Gibralta, of Spanish parents, and his
name is Bazouk and directly we get
among the ancient sculpture he leads
me to a large marble basin, directs
me to hang my head down over it
and listen Then he goes to the end
Of the gallery TO corresponding
basin and whispers. 1t is alone
worth the three francs to hear Ba.
zouk's voice SO mysteriously come to
me up quietly out Of my own basin.
Wondrous echo! MY dear sir"
says Bazouk, you come here tou-
sand years widout guide; you never
find that out" And he laughs tri-
unphantly. as though the echo was
his own particular friend and would
work for no one else.
"All desc, very DID, very ancient,
very 'teresting, come from Greece"
waving his blackthorn at the other
figures, but no time for everything.
Pleasskomere! My dear sir, Venus
der Milo" Pause to allow me time
to admire. Then, $50 noble, so maj
esty, SO splendick beautiful" Very
slowly and ilnpressively, beating his
hand with the knob of the black
thorn. Remember three tings:
Feerst not made of a good piece Of
marble; SECOND, no one ever among
best artists able exactly to copy ex-
preston Of face; theerd, no one know
ing what she do wild ands. All try,
no one succeed. Remember three
tings." And he gives them me again.
A crowd-a gang Of desolate, dreary
English-wander around upon us
from the Melpomene, under the di-
rection of a stout man in light clothes.
If you had met them on country
road you would have declared them
the more harmless lunatics out for a
constitutional. Bazouk nudges mo
and whispers, Cooks; joost like
cattle" He salutes their keeper, who
mods in reply, and us the tail of the
melancholy comet passes us repeats,
Cooks" "Ya-as," says young
man drawing behind, Cooks come
to see Parees; any objections2' To
whom the ever polite Bazoul1 raises
his hat and replies, Enjoy yourselfs,
my dear sir. Temple Bar.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
AIehDcshwn Frederick County, Maryland Thursday January 'B93
LITTLE COUSIN JASPER.

Little Cousin Jasper he
Don't live in this town like me;
He lives way TO Rensselaer,,
An list come to visit here.
He says at our court house square
Amt nigh big as theirn Is there.
He says their town 8 big as four
Err five towns like this, an more.
He says CT his folks moved here
He'd cry to leave Rensselaer,:
Because thcy's prairies there, an lakes
An viii ducks an rattlesnakes.
Yes, an little Jaspcr's pa
Shoots most things you ever saw.
Wunst he shot deer one day,
AT swummed of an got away.
Little Cousin Jasper went
An camped out wunst Ia tent
Wiv his pa, an hclt HIS gun
While he kilt q turrapun.
An when his ma heerl o that,
An more things his pas been at,
She says, ayes, an he'll git shot
'Forc he's man grown, ike as not"
An thCy's mussrats there, an minks
An di-dippcrs an Chewinks-
Yes, an cal'mus root you chew
All up, an 'twon't pizcn you.
An in towns q flugpole there
Highest one ats anywhere
In this world-wite In the street
Where the big mass mcetins meet.
Yes, an Jasper he says they
Got brass band there, an play
On it, an march up IN down,
An all over round the town.
Wisht our town ain't like it is;
Wisht it's list as big as his;
Wisht ut his folks thoy'd move here,
An we'd move to Rensselaer,!
james Whitcomb Riley in Century.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

O ho! 1t makes us laugh We did
not expect our advice would be taken
so literally. On the new name topic,
it actually looks as though our citizens
were going to get up row about moth
ing. Our dear old antediluyian doubles
up his big fist and wants to fight every
body that doesn't show proper respect
for his grandfather. Doesn't that Ma
tye Subscriber" feel out of place in
progressive America? 1t is China that
worships the bones of its ancestors and
resents as all intrusion, every effort for
improvement. You dear old fossil, why
not import the Chinese ciyllizatlon,-
abandon our railroads, telegraphs, &C..
do away with knives, forks and cloth
ing, and return to the ways OF our
grandparents? Our kicker would
consent to most anything to prevent
your pouting.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

The Senior editor moved us within.
We pose, on account Of the recent
blizzard he thought we would feel cold,
on the outside. Owing to want Of
space, we furnish our readers with only
wee bit of column this week, letting
the local matter that our kicker Is
growing about stand over until next
| issue.
In view Of the nice print and neat
work in general that the Office force has
done for US, We do not feel disposed to
find fault with the few minor mistakes
made in type setting and proof reading;
and the reader that notices such mis-.
takes, must supply the necessary cor
rections In the poem, "Christmas-
Tlde,'" the wo1d them in the last line
Of first stanza, should read men, Our
heading, somewhat larger than we or
dered, will in the next issue, we trust,
be corrected.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
Practical Charity.

A closer alliance between public
and private charities must be Sc
cured. If the public authorities con-
tinue to administer outdoor relief
they ought to be in constant com
munication with the private agencies
engaged in the same work. There is
no reason why there should not be
hearty cooperation between the
overseers of the poor and the agents
and visitors OF the benevolent So
cieties. The lack of such co-opera,
ton is one of the gaps through which
mendicancy creeps i'll. Rev. Wash
ington GLADDEN. in Century.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

ANNA u. INONhlS, HDlloN'
Just in front of my pew sits maiden
A little brown wing on her hat,
With its touches of tropical azure
And sheen of the sun upon that
Thro' the bloom colored pane shines glory
BY which the vast shadows are stirred;
But pine for the spirit and splendor
That painted the wing of the bird
The organ rolls down its great anthem,
with the soul of a song it is blcn,;
But tor me, l am sick for the singing
OF one little song that is spent.
The voice Of the cuiate is gentle
mo sparrow shall fall to the ground"-
But the poor broken wing on the sparrow
Is mocking the mercitul sound.
Close and sweet is the breath Of the lilies
Asleep on the altar of prayer;
But my soul is athirst for the fragrance
Far out in the bountiful air.
And wonder if ever or never,
With white wings DER weary and furicd,
l shall find the sweet spirit Of pity
Abro0d at the heart of the world
-Mrs. L. ". Broon
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

Our jealous love for the birds led us
to make in our last issue, an ungracious
remark to the girls for which we SIN
cerely beg their pardon. 1t was not
meant unkindly for some OF the tender
est truest glrls that we know, wear
birds upon their hats. not because they
are cruel at heart, but because they
have never thought of the cruelty the
fashion involves. We believe, were they
to give the subject their serious atten-
ton they would voluntarily and gladly
forswear the fashion.
we read with admiration Of that girl
who at the marriage altar refused to ac-
cept rs Il husband, the man whose
breath betrayed the fumes of liquor !;
but even this could not equal the al
oration we have for the tender noble
man who declined the honor of wedding
the maiden that came to him, decked
cut in the broken wings and sightless
eyes bemoaned in Blrdland.
Some of these days we waLt to write
a whole big sermon on the subject, but
tor the present forbear more than the
little poem that heads our column, to
which we call your attention. Study
it carefully. dear girls, and don't,
please, encourage by your example, a
traffic that gives employment to the
cruel sportsman and silencrs f,raver,
the sweet melody Of millions of God 8
little songsters.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
He Knows Now.

Sampson was clerk for one day
only at the mammoth establishment
of William Bobson g. Smoke. Bob,
son is very wealthy and more illit-
crate. He was writing letter, when
he looked up and asked Sampson
Jennings, who was at the next desk.
"How do you spell lnducement,
with C or an ST.
"Be'angd'fino, responded the new
clerk.
"All the clerks | ever had except
you knew how to spell"
$50 did all the masters 1 ever had"
replied Jennings
There's a new man at that desk
how.-Yankee Blade.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
A uindoo Belief About Owls.

The Hindoos declare that the flesh
and blood of an owl will make a per-
son insane who eats or drinks it.
On this account men who are de-
voured by jealousy of rival or
hatred of an enemy come furtively
to the market and purchase an owl.
In silence they carry it home and Sc
cretly prepare decoction, which an
accomplice will put into the food OF
the object of their malignant de-
signs. All the Year Round.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
Elected without New York

Before 1892 five presidents of the
United States were elected without
the assistance OF the state of New
York. These were George Washing
ton first time), IN 1889; James MaGi-
son, i'll 1916; James Buchanan, in
1855; U. S. Grant, in 1869; r. B.
HAYES, in 1876. Hartford Post.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

A society was organized in New
York city nearly $50 years ago for
the encouragement of American
woolens. The rules of the society
forbade eating lamb or mutton OF the
slaughter of sheep
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
Church Directory.

Reformed Church-Rev. G. A, Whitmoie
ras or. Weekly Lectures Tuesday evening
Meeting of Ladies' Aid Society every second
y Nednesdsy evening. Regular services
appointment from the pulpit
Lutheran Church-Rev. ]. II. Barb, pas
tow. Services, Sunday 10 A. NJ. and $50 p.
NJ. Sunday School, O. p. M. Prayer Meet
ing, Wednesday, GAS p. NJ
United Brethren Church--Mite Society
f<.cond and Fourth Wednesday.
Sunday School 2 r. M.
PRAYER Meeting every Thursday evening.
Regular Services by experimentation the
rulrit.
Morayian Church. Rey ]. j. Rcksecker,
stor. Services in Mechancs'own every
oweeks, alternating morning and evening,
aceham, every Sunday.
Methodist Episcopal Church Rev. J.
=. r. Gray Pastor Services every alternate
Sunday at 10 A. NJ. Sunday School 9 A. NJ,
Prayer Meeting every Thursday evening at :
P.N
United Brethren Churoh-Rev A. N.
tIorn, Pastor. Services every alternate
Sunday at 8 p. IN. Sunday School every
Sunday at 2 p. IN. Prayer Meeting every.
Thursday evening at p NJ ,@%..'..
~. Stephens Church, Protestant Episco-
pu1.- Rev. Dewitt u Loop, Pastor. Ser.
vices every Sunday ut 1890 u. M, execFt on
5th Sunday iu the month, then at night
Eycning Prayer Fridays, at Z.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

In 1891 nugget Of fifteen pounds
weight, shaped exactly like cross,
with the exception Of the right arm,
was discovered in the Buriss mine,
near Melbourne, Australia.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
A Fair Advancement.

Mr.. Glenridge-In my house al
ways expect to head the procession.
Mrs Glenridge-Well, you have to
foot the bills. Kate Fields Wash
ington.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

Scales in the assay Office at Boston
are claimed to be SO delicate that
they Indicate the ten-millionth part
of a pound.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
A Wasted EnOrt.
her-YOu look sad.

Trother- You look sad.
Barlow-I am. l took my best
girl to church and put half sov-
ereign on the plate i'll order to inn
press her, and she never saw it.-Ex-
change.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

Henry III of France painted his
face and used all kinds of cosmetics,
wearing at night mask and gloves
stepped III ponade.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

We look in vain at the bequests of
Jay Gould to find noble Charity like
the Cooper, the Drexel, the Pratt and
the Armour Institutes. We find in
stead, petty, selfish desire to perpetu
uate his fortune under the management
of his eldest son George, by condition.
ing the marriage of the younger hairs
upon the will of the Executors.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

The world is at once very much
more keen witted and very much
more stupid than we think.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

Marrying woman tor her beauty
is like buying house because it is
handsomely painted.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05

isaSa TIE bj1',f.Ntg s.siu.l. -.
MAEviLI.l, H. l., Me, "a y 1891.
I, the UNDERSIGNED 81 I.roi fru:n opileray 20,
years had r. appetite ard could do wor
whatever; connu.tea q number Of doctors, but
ell said here was no roIieiy !or -py disease
/ then took PcAtcr Koeng3 Nerve Tonic, nA,
AN now il perfect health and work all the ti.n-
Thousand than4s 70 your remedy.
PHILIP NOEGEDN.
o. Pi.Os pKCI ST., EHwAnk. n. j.. March 9 1891.
90: soun o.! Pastor koorigs Nerve IoIil
ior neryousMe,s sni Ni,cplcSsnCes and il
h"iied mo the avs time l tool: 1t Led the
he's. ole~n ! had had for soyernl nonths ]
also know friends of mine v no us.sl II aud say
ii is the bcs. nerve tonic they ever used. J
write this that r",uc sufferer may Gde your
medicine and be- helped by it,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1893-01-05
MEW d WQMBM.
ANNA J. NORRIS, EDITOR.

PURITY, JusrICE, TRUTH.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1893-12-23

ma connivencia mafntera, no &C con-
former sus jefes y la Junta con qui-
tarle ell destino que disfruta, como
hasta hoy ha venido sucediendo.
Asf no Sc conseguira moralizar Ia
administration de consumes. La ley
dispone algo mas y debe cumplirse,
entregando los completes la &C
|cion delos tribunales de justicia, para
que juzgen su culpabilidad.
No Sc alarmen por estas lfneas los
que no Sc cream aludidos. 'Al que lie
caiga el sayo, que Sc 10 ponga" A
que no Sc mira nj siquiera ell color que
Sc tienes En- consumes, como en- to-
dos los ramos de la administration,
hay empleados de todas clases.y con-
diciones, y no es justo que el que co,
mete una pilleria no tenga mas cas-
tigo que ell mismo que puede tener
un hombre honrado sin haberla CO.
metido.
Perder el destino no es castigo pa
ra un culpable.