Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-07-10
JUST FOR FUN.

some OF Un0 strongest dtGoiCHHIOhUo
in life are made by the officers of the
law.
A new kind of flannel is called
sstramp 1annel'' 1t shrinks from
washing.
For earache, sore throat, toothache, swell
ed neck and the results of cold and infamma-
ton, use DIR. Thomas Electric Oil, the great
pain destroyer.
The saying thing of beauty is a joy
forever, does not apply to handsome
woman with hot temper.
wynn Bunting is very supersti-
tious about numbers. Triplett Which
is his favorite? Twynn-He's always
looking out for number one.
What has induced Marrawfat to take
up generalogy all Of sudden? He's
trying to find some relatives in Chica-
go so that he can get his board at the
fair
The essential lung-healing principle of the
pine tree has finally been successfully separ-
ated and refined into perfect cough medi-
cine. DIR. Woods Norway Pine Syrup. Sold
by all dealers on guarantee CT satisfaction.
A couple of lovers, when they first
engage in the business, may be ig-
norant of all the rules of courtship,
but they don't want any light thrown
on it.
Excuse me if 1 dip into your gold
reserve, said the burglar to the CAPT.
talist. Excuse me if I issue call for
bonds, replied the capitalist as he rang
the police alarm.
Suffered from acute Inflammation in my
nose and head-for week at a time 1 could
not see. I used E1y's Cream Balm and in
few days 1 was cured. 1t is wonderful how
quick it helped me.-Mrs. George S. Judson,
Hartford, Conn.
The Dilettante-Youo ought to look at
Mrs. Thompson's magnificent home!
It's just full of Corots and Millets.
The Parivenu-Terrible! Why doesn't
she try insect powder.
Struggling Author (who has just
read his last story to his wife, -There!
that's the best thing l ever did. His
Wife-Yes, dear. What magazine
shall you send it to first?
Fatal neglect is little short of suicide. The
of a neglected cough are too
we'll known to need repeating. DR.. Woods
Norway Pine Syrup cures a cough promptly.
Sold by all dealers on guarantee of satisfac-
ton.
Suppose 1 give you five rabbits and
then another rabbit, how many rab-
bits would you have? Seven. How do
you make that out? Because I have
rabbit of my own at home.
sLook here!" said an excited man
TO a druggist. "You gave me NOR
phine for quinine this morning" lis
that so?' replied the druggist. "Then
you owe me twenty-fiv cents"
For a lame pack or for pain in the side OIL
chest, try saturating piece of flannel with
Pain Balm and binding it on
to the affected parts. This treatment will
cure any ordinary case in one or two days.
Pain Balm also cures rheumatism. SO cent
bottles for sale by H. C. Pierce, Barton, VT.
s'Do you know Mr.. Drydust?" said
Maud. "Yes,' replied Minnie. "He
Is very learned, isn't he?" ''What
makes you think SOP" "He can talk so
long on such uninteresting things"
Daughter docking up from her nov
in time of trial, what do
you suppose brings the most comfort
10 a man? Papa (who is a district
acquittal, should think.
A misstep will often make a cripple for life.
bottle of Henry & Johnson's Arnica and Oil |
Liniment at hand, will not prevent the mis-
STEP but used Immediately it will save being
cripple.
Dealer = am sure, madam, you
could look the city through, and not
ind a handsomer carriage than this.
Mrs. D'Avnoo : Oh, it's handsome
enough; but it looks too comfortable
10 be stylish.
Doctor this medicine want you
10 give your husband a spoonful every
our hours. Rich Peasants Wife-Oh,
loctor, we are, thank heaven, suffi-
GENTLY well off to let him take one
every hour!
Baxter's Mandrake Bitters cure Indigestion,
Heart Burn, Costiveness and all ma1arial
diseases. Twenty five cents per bottle.
A henpecked husband called the
and said: ''Look here,
am told that my wife and
daughters are planning trip to Biar
itz. Do you know whether am 60
ng with them or no?''
Manager why don't little Eva
ONE on? Uncle Tom stands waiting,
is making little speech
o the company, thanking it for the
,leasant way it had remembered her
ucooon1 hirth1av