Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1893-12-15
PosEY HoLLER ITEMS.

PoSEY HoLLER ITEMS.
Mr.. EDITOR: Seen as how it has beei
SO long since wrote to you l thought
would diop you few lines to let yOV
know we are all yer yet. Well, they il
a big small pox scare around here, ant
SarS an sed fur me to 60 and git the doctor
to come down and nocnlate US all, ant
fur me to white wash all around and burr
sulphur and assafetida. and to clarity
things generally. Well, the doctor come
down and noculated all the folks, but he
didn't do it IN the old fashion way He
took bunch of tooth picks and stuck q
little in the arm and said his bill was nine
dollars, and for me to send him some
yaller punkins, and he left. But don't
you kno Ephriam UIia went and hooked
a bunch of them tooth-picks and went
around sticken 'em into the cat and the
dog and all the children, and he put one
on Bula halinda's nose, and goodness, her
nose looks like, a roasted pig with a
lemon in its mouth. Well, she can't
smell that mink what was in our hen
coop, so you know it's bad. Well, sir, You
wouldn't know that cat. She turned in
side out, bat we haint afraid Of the small
pox. Well, had to 60 up the Brook
agin yesterday fur some sticken plaster
and git some stuff to rub on my back,
and this is how it come. They was lot
of gypsies stsytn q the woods above our
house, and about week ago they left,
and they left a couple things behind as
they wonld better took along. Yester-
day morning Saryan went up in the lot to
git some psrsimons to send with the pop
corn and mountain tea TO the preacher,
and when she got TO the upper end Of the
lot heard her boiler, come yer, Neal,
yer's a green crow. Just as | got up to
Saryan heard it say, LET me tell yer
fortune you are goin to marray purity
rich man and live easy, and can tell you
more marm." Saryan got mad and says
your a lyin ! am married and I'll wiring
your neck off Then the polparet hollered
"come yer Pont, the OLD yaller heather
called me llar," and started for Ssryar,
so Just looked on fur thought it would
be nothen but hen fight, and maybe if
the psret gin her little round she
wouldn't be so sassy. But the fust thing
I knoNed the air was full Of feathers and
Saryan a Aollerin and the paret a scream
ing. "let 60 you yallar heather" BY and
by Saryau got the things legs in each
hand, and it had Saryan by the nose, and
bsatln her with its wings. Then l went
up and Knocked the thing by the neck
and was a shuttin of his wind off when
| felt somethin ketch me 10y the leg war
Saryan had put patch on, and looked
around and tarnal big monkey run up
and ketched ME by one ear and Saryan by
the other l didn't know before that
monkey could smack You in the face with
all four feet at once and bite you on the
nose with his mouth and shut your wind
off with his tail all at the same time. So
purity soon me and the monkey and paret
and ,SaIyan got all mixed up and they
was a gettln away with us when Ephriam
Uria heard Us and cum runin out TO
help, but he only got mixed in it too some
how. ] was always on the outside cause
every one hit me every time and believe
hit myself now and then. We'll, we
kept on doing the best we could till we
got to the edge Of steep bank, then we
all Stated to rolling down the hill like
bundle of rags. After we had rolled over
a few times l seen the paret kind Of flop
up into a parsimon bush, then Saryan
ketched to a thorn locust and hung thar,
then me and Eph dnbbled Oh the monkey
and would dun him up bat I slipped
through under the fence and rolled into
the creek, and Eph hooked onto sssa-
fTas root and couldn't turn oyer thout
help, while the drafted monkey got up in
a walnut tree and cussed us. Soon IS l
got out went back and LET Ephrism and
Sa1yaR loose. Then that ar boy started
back for the house and fstched piece of
old iron pipe with stick Of dansmite in
it and long fuse to 1t and put it on a
pole and punched at the monkey. Jist as
he grabbed it lie pulled the string and
goodness sakes they was no top left to
that tree and they was monkey clear out
as fur as to uncle Pete COoley's. Then
we got steel trap and put it on a pole
and reached up in the tree and ketched
the parret and took it to the house and
nailed it agin the gable to keep poll par
rets away. Well, I must rock the babe
While Saryan goes up to cousin LENS to
see if the signs right to pop corn.
Yours in respectfully,
NEAL BUZZARD.
" B.-That durn thing is holleren to
Sarysn TO unscrew him from the gable or
lie will knock the old sbanty down, but
SarVau didn't stop,