St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-07-09
MOSQUITO TALES.

Have the inhabitants of this SANITY
City gone crazy. are they practicing for
an old settlers war dance or for a
gigantic acrobatic exhibition? Walk
along our avenues one of these pleasant
summer evenings and watch the mad
antics of some of our solid business
men. Perhaps you will watch promi-
nent banker reading the bank clearance
with an expression of angelic satiSfac-
ton lingering about his whiskers. Just
as you are thinking how truly dignified
he looks, he jumps to the ground
with very unbankerlike howl
and look of anything but
satisfaction spreads ali over him.
His paper is left to the mercy of the
minnesota breeZeletS as he grasps one
ankle III both of his bankerial paws and
dances a highland fling on one foot
while he amuses himself kicking over
the chairs and vases Oh the lawn. He
has not discovered through the news
paper that he is about TO leave for New
4ork and San Francisco, nor thath his
daughter has elOped with his office boy
and cash register; but what has chiefly
caused the commotion is simply this:
what BostonianS call musca of the
genus culeX has inserted its biting little
bill into his dignitied limb. Bostonians
speak foreign language which they
designate as correct English" 1t takes
years 10 learn it. and, were it not for
the pig and beans which they always
serve as matter of course, visitors
would starve 10 death while trying to
make a Boston waiter understand their
wants.
Elephants may be intelligent, mon
keys mischievous and circus horses &C
eomplished, but for cleverneSs and gen.
uine, unauthorized Yankee shrewd-
ness, commend. me to that small, but
dlSprOportlonately ferociouS animal,
commonly spoken of as a MOSQUITO.
That is the ''critter" which makes our
lives miserable and compelS such fear
fql antics on the part of our dignitied
citizens. The common salutation between
intimate friends has become, "Howdedo,
can you just scratch my left shoulder, l
can't reach it." Our piaZzas ale crowd
ed with host of friends swinging news
papers and fans, making frantic efforts
to keep quiet and trying to appear to
enjoy the conversation, but the one
thought that every individual is think
ing is the same; Il know it is going to
bite me now"
MY description of Il mosquito may not
DE corro6orated by our distinguished
naturalIsts. but l write from expert
ence. Having spent one awful summer
In the Wilds of darkest New Jersey, [
ought to know how to give true de-
serlption OF a mosquito. If naturalist
VIII spend summer month in the
depths of the Jersey woods he will gain
great knowledge of mosquito nature.
and Will gain an experience worth years
of literary work.
spent five winters in Lakewood, n.
j., where Mr.. and Mrs. Cleveland made
their winter home. 1t is most delight
full winter residence, but in summer the
transient guests teel compelled to move
out and allow the mosquito to rambln
undlsturbed among his former haunts.
Before L had ever travelled further than
Merriam Park | thought MOSQUITO"
was an unnecessarily long name with
which to weight so small creature
But now | am only immensely sur
prised that the ancient who discovered
this wild beast in its original wild state
dld not call 1t darn-goSh- mercy-murder-
nelp- For the sake of the progeny of
that dlSrOverer. it is we'll that his name
is lost i'll oblivion. Americans Will be
pleased to know that he was Spaniard,
but his memory is not honOred as is the
memory of our esteemed friend Chris.
Any man who would have the heart to
leave for poSterity such discovery de-
serves to have his portrait hung in the
rogueS' gallery.
In New Jersey they have little else
but mosquitoes. There this king of
beasts reigns supreme. He has even
chased malaria away, and | doubt if
cholera could stay III the same town
with genuine Jersey mosquito. The
mosquito furnishes both food and cloth
ing for the JerseyIteS. and sklnning
their hides is one of the chief industries
of that small state. Their hides make
strong, durable coats, and their little
striped legs are manufactured into ex-
cellent trousers for c0nvictS and dudes.
~
When you meet 4 mosquito in West
ern town he is usually fat, well-fed
specimen, about the size OF a spring
gobbler; you have no trouble in seeing
him, feeling him or in hearing him, for
he sings all the most popular airs in a
dulcet cultivated treble, but a Jersey
mosquito. that is very different thing.
They are SO small and insinuating that
nothing yet invented will keep them
out, and they bite like little dogs.
The perceptive qualities of mosquito
are wonderful. How does he always
know when you intend to corp sify him?
He seems to scent slaughter in the at
VN,,
ferent and put OH your most nonchaIant
air as you saunter i'll his direction. All
to no purpose. for just as you are about
to wipe him out of existence. away he
tiutters, gaily singing defiant little
tune AS he disappears which makes your
blood boil and your numerous bites itch.
~
L am willing to assert that an ordI-
nary mosquito has thousand eyes, a
Henry Clay brain, and sixteen jaws
armed with buzz saws, drills, ehiseIs,
etc, with which he works and sings.
Put Patti against band of mosquitoes,
and Patti wouldn't be heard; unless she
started singing Home Sweet Home"
as farewell performance. Under such
circumstances the mosquitoes would
probably quietly dispense With tears III
their eyes. Innocent little deniZens of
the green woods, they could not be ex-
pected to understand a farewell tour
that occurs regularly for twenty years.
suppose the reason mosquitoes sing so
loudly is because they bite so many
vocalists. 1t is the system of inocula-
ton. We may also presume that St.
Paul mosquitoes become remarkably in
teliIgent and joyial after few meals off
our population.
How sweet life seems as you sit on a
cool piazza near the lake shore, with
your turtle dove swinging in a ham
| mock beside you, and together you
watch the mOonbeams kissing the tiny
waves. You think those moonbeams
know how to ENJOY themselves. Why
| not do-HarkI Your heart sinks