The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-21
recording angel knows I never intended

recording angel knows I never intended
! to.
Here is little list" and the cynic
took out long book and ran his finger
over page after page of names. "These
| names represent $40, 600 worth of funerals.
did it, l buried them in various styles
OF the art, but never cent have I had
Tor 1t. And never a cent will l get for it :;
not even in heaven, as said before. If
an undertaken wants his money, he must
get it as soon after the funeral as he can
send in his bill Time heals all wounds,
you know, and in most cases a homeo-
pathic dose will do. I'll make you a pres
| ent of nine-tenths of my bills that have
run over a month, and you needn't even
say Thank your
1--WE a box of ashes down in my cellar
| now. It's all there is left of as fine man
as you'll find. He was from the other
side. Died here, and his friends sent
word to have the body cremated and they
would send for the ashes. Well, as / say,
they're down cellar. I've often thought
of throwing them out into the street, but
| don't Just like to do it," and the cynic
forgot himself in moment of revery.
That's the way it goes" he resumed,
spreading out his hands and Struggling
his shoulders. Il buried mans wife a
while ago, and inside of three weeks he
had married another / met him on the
street and l said to him:
"Why didn't you pay me for the first
one before you got another?'
But have them sometimes when they
can't help themselves" and the cynic
chuckled 'Here's a case, for instance
This woman owes me sos already. l have
sued her for it, although I seldom do go
to law about these things. Yesterday
another child died, and as I hold the deed
of her lot she cannot bury it there with
out my consent. She can afford to pay
her bill, and don't mean to allow her to
bury this child there until l get my
money"
What is the smallest sum for which
one can secure decent burial?"
We'll, a child can be buried for S12; IS
for the casket and carriage to the Gene
terry and 81 for opening grave. A new
grave, OF course, costs more"
What do you mean by a new grave?"
why you know in all Of the cemeteries
they bury three or four bodies in many of
the graves. In some cemeteries they put
six or seven in one grave Sometimes the
bodies are OF people not at all connected
Their friends could not afford a whole
new grave. That costs from $50 to $50
In other cases the different members OF
family are put into the same grave. Not
long ago l buried a man in Greenwood
He had had three wives and several chill
dren by each wife. The wives and most
of the children died before he did. Each
wife had a grave, and she and her chill
dren were buried in it. The man had al
ways told me just where he wanted to be
buried, and when we came to put him
away we found a coffin already there
Whether it held the remains of his favor
lite wife or whether he had forgotten one
Of them altogether l don't know.
Around this locality we have a good
many different nQtionalities There are
few Italians. Their tastes are simple
and they pay their bills. We have more
French. They are good customers. Some
times they have elaborate funerals but
they pay promptly. They don't make
much fuss; there's no bowling and carry
ing on, but it's generally the noisiest
mourneTs VINO kick the hardest over the
oils. The Irish are good payers. IdOn't
think we have a single Irish name on our
deadhead list. The Americans are the
worst. The trouble with them is that
they try to have little nicer funeral
than any Of their neighbors ever had, and
after they get their tears dried and see
the figures they don't want to mako the
sacrifices that are necessary to pay the
bill. The Jews don't spend much money
on q funeral Of course, they won't let a
Christian touch the body. They put it in
plain pine coffin with the shavings left
in; wrap it up in a sheet, that's all
There are lots Of other people VINO can't
afford much more just now. This is the
dullest season / have known in twenty
four years No, young man, if you want
tne funeral Just wait bit"