The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-12-05
"or darkness will again befall us ere

and suiting the action to the words no
turned tho knight over, and with mon
key wrench which the warrior wore no
began to undo his armor.
In n few minutes the knight appear
ed in his buckskin pajamas, and Walker
was surprised to find him such small
and i'll fact insignificant person. See
ing that he outclassed him when he was
out of his arnor, he began to bully
him. and finally he compelled my an
cestor to wheel the barrow, loaded as it
was with his armor and weapons.
Unaccustomed to such mental toll,
the knight made such poor progress that
evening found them still far from
home. The pangs of hunger added to
the knights misery. But Walker dis
appeared in the woods, taking with him
tho warriors long spear.
In less than an hour he returned with
a couple of fat pullets, a small pig.
and peck of Early Rose potatoes, dis
posed about his person in manner that
would have done credit to the kings
conjurer.
"And now" said he, as he laid his
booty on the ground, I'VE will light a
fire in the stove"
What stove?' exclaimed nv ances-
tor in amazement.
I'm show you," replied Aimlcss,
how necessity can create ont of ap-
parently the most homogeneous mate
rails q satisfactory base burning, self
feeding and self regulating Sunshine
range and heater combined, warranted,
likewise, to save fuel and reduce the
cost of living by one-half"
Speaking thus, he took the warrior s
iron body piece and placed it upon sew
eral stones in an upright position. In
few minutes he had attached the arm
pieces, thus constructing stovepipe,
and filling the continuance with leaves
and wood in less than quarter of an
hour he had merry fire blazing there
in. Filling the helmet with water, he
placed it upon the opening in the armor
for the knights neck and left it to boil.
while he prepared the chickens. These
he put i'll the pot with the potatoes to
boil. Then, taking the knights shirt
OF chain he drove four stakes in the
ground Mt equal distances and suspended
the garment in such manner that
when he had lighted fire beneath it
served as n gridiron to broil the porker
upon.
Now said Aimlcss as he removed
the porkcr from the gridiron, and plac-
ing it upon my ancestors shield began
to carve it with his sword lust
spear them poultry and taters outen the
pot, will yer. and We'll begin the ban
quot. " My ancestor fshed ont the
chickens and potatoes, and they fell to-
a couple of perfectos would just fin
ish this about right" said Aimless,
with sigh, as he lay back against a
tree for awhile.
Then he filled the stove with more
firewood and said:
We'll keep that going all night and
snoozo right alongside of it," which
they did.
In the morning they warmed over the
remnants of the feast and proceeded on
their way. AS they neared my ances-
tors castle, Walker began to muse, as
one who medltates putting up job,
but the warrior did not perceive it, as
he was busy pushing the wheelbarrow.
Strikes me, my lord, that it were an
unsccmly entrance tC your city that
you make. Perchance 'twere wiser
to resume your metallic togs and go in
in some style
My ancestor assented to this, and with
the pilgrim help entered his armor,
and Walker fastened tho combination
lock.
Then the base, ignoble churl rapidly
trundled the supine and hapless knight
to an obscure street in the lowest and
most questionable part of my ances-
tors town. down near the river, and
opening his visor gagged him with Il
piece OF cloth, which he tore off tho tail
OF his new coat of arms.
Chuckling with ficndish glee, he then
proceeded until he came 10 the Junk
shop of William Slathers, afterward
Earl Slathers, the first of what became
noble English family, and there he
sold the arnor and weapons, my ances-
tor included, as old iron at cents a
pound.
He then decalnped.
Slathcrs, in examining his bargain Il
little later, discovered concealed with
in the person of his licgc lord. Between
the shock of finding him thus and re-
alizing that he had been bnnkoed into
buying 1875 pounds of my ancestor as
old iron, he almost lost his mind. Walt
McDougal in New York World.
Then the Audience Smiled.