Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-12-21
A GREAT PUMP MAN.
Performances OF q neutrality-suspicious.
swallowed Easily.
H. rl.r..-.- -rE
FLoRETTE.

Democrat
A small party OF travelling men were
seated last evening 10 the rotunda OF
the st. Charles Hotel. AS usual the
conversation driited into somewhat
fanciiul channels, and from an abstract
discussion Of the laws governing the
digestive ORGANS Of men and animals,
the talk turned upon gIOtesQue eXhi-
billions OF abnormal effectiveness.
NJ pbUfn Too-ohe renraSert ting q
lass, scrap iron, pine splinters
and other matter, commonly rated by
physicians as dithcnlt OF assimilation.
"ThOse are common occurances, "
said Mr.. T. p. Charlton, q Chicago
betting drummer. Anybody can see
those kind Of things az any time or in
almost any dime museum 10 the coun-
try, but there occurs to me just az this
moment the case Of a darkey that I ran
across some time ago 10 Meridi an, who,
/ think, is entitled TO the palm for his
gastrOnmic feats."
Mr.. CharletOn paused and looked
about him impressiYely.
"COme on, said some one, tout with
lt. II you heat TombS' story we'll call
out some OF Bob Rivers cObWe bbiest."
81 forgot the darky's name" COM
menced Mr.. Charlton, being thus en-
eouraged, "buJ / think you will an
agree that he was a man Of exception
able ability in his particular line. He
dropped into the hotel one night while
a number OF US were seated around the
stove, and handed o slip OF dirty paper
70 me. I glanced over the paper aud
could not refrain from breaking into a
laugh. OF course, / was Immediately
asked what the joke was. by way OF
reply l read the document and the
crowd rOared, though no one had the
slightest idea what IL all meant I've
got The paper in my pocket now"
'Read TO-" said the crowd with
voice.
Mr.. Charlton drew from his purse a
tattered piece Of beRrimmed paper,
whish be carefully spread upon his
knee and then read slowly and distinct
ly. The following is an exact copy OF
the original
Zone keg Of beer, seventy-fve cents;
one pounded demiiOhn, eighty cents.
three nails, eighty-fye cents; hall. bar
rel OF apples, one dollar; rabbits, six for
q dollar"
Having read this paper, Mr.. Charlton /
continued as follows:
"When / bad read the paper through |
] asked the darksy what 10 meant. lie /
replied, In effect, that jt was a cata- ]
lOgue Of the prices at which he would /
eat or drink the various articles emu /
msrated He called himself a pump I
man, and said that he had travelled 1
round the country on the strength OF
what be could do.
Naturally enough, we concluded to
put him 20 the test 10 was, of course.
perfectly we'll known 60 all of us that /
al OF this class OF people who eat glass
and abnormal quantities of indigestibie
food depend for the SacCess CT their
undertakings upon the virtues OF eme-
lies. But We we're nos prepared for the
novel manner 10 which the darkev
undertook 90 make good his boast.
1--WE dubbed 10 and put up enough
money TO pay for the darkey's cOnsum-
nE keg Of beer, a pounded demijohn
aud dog. The porter was sent out for
ihe beer, the hotel proprietor furnished !
The demiiohD, which vas pounded into
fragments on the hearth. and a whisky
drummer went out With bis pistol and I
soon returned with large yellow dog. /
Everything being arranged, the repast
was spread before the negro. ard am J
candid 10 the avOwal that it was the
welrdest banquet that &c has ever been .
BY iot 60 contemplate. As We expected,
the daTkey ala potretain the materials.
When be had absorbed as much as he
could conveniently hold, be would liter
ally pump 10 out Of himself, bringing
BIS loft arm up ana down like the han
die OF apump, and disgorging With
ABOUT tho sane intensity OF a fire en-
CINE. When he had finished be looked
% us with quiet smile, and remarked
that be would like TO undertake the
consumption Of some fruits, but we
iidh't take bin up.
~. Charlton was perfectly In earnest