Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1893-01-19
FOR EFFECT.


The next day after the wedding.
81 suppose, Henry" said the old gen.
tleman to the new son-in-law, that you
are aware the check for $1,000 / put
among your wedding presents was merely |
for effects"
"Oh, yes, SIR" responded the cheerful |
Henry, "and the effect was excellent. |
The bank cashed it this morning without |
a word. p Detroit Free Press.
A COMING oUANDARY.
Teacher (of class of physics)-Of
what is paper now chiefly madeG
Pupil-Of wood.
Teacher-Is the worlds supply of wood
inexhaustible2
Next Pupil-It is not. 1t is consumed
in the arts and manufactures many times
faster than it grows.
Teacher-Then what will the world
use for substitute when the wood is all
gomez
Third Pupil--Paper. -IChicago Tri-
bune.
MIGHT JUST AS WE'LL HAVE LOST.
Bunker-Nice hat of yours.
Hill-Yes. That hat cost me 50.
Bunker-I thought you won it on the
election.
Hill-Did. l bet with my wife,
[Clothier and Furnisher.
SERIOUS FAULT.
500 you think my son will ever make
an artistp asked a fond parent of the
painting master.
"Well, SIR" replied the teacher, eau
tiously, 81 think there would not be the
slightest doubt of his becoming a great
artist if he were not unfortunately color
blind"
NOT SUCCESS.
Inventor-What do you think of my
flying machine?
Capitalist it doesn't carry me
away.
TOO INDEFINITE.
The Voice from the Telephone-Is this
Mr.. Titters?
Titters-Yes; who are you9
The Voice from the Telephone Sweet
ly)-Your fiancee, love.
Titters-Er-can't you be little more
cxplicit?-[ Chicago News Record.
TAUGHT HOW TO SHOOT.
"Thc young idea how to shoot" he
taught,
And with success, to me he proudly
said,
Twas true; for, as he spoke, as quick as
thought
A paper pellet hit him in the head.
rur DrAsnv
500 you wear Eyeglasses because you
think you look better with them" asked
Miss Pert.
81 wear them because know / look
better with them," answered the short
sighted man, sadly.
NOT HIS TO GIVE.
"Your money or your life" said the
gentleman at the safe end of the revolver.
'But, my dear man, l can't give you
either" protested the victim. "They
both belong to my Wife"
VERY CONSCIENTIOUS.
Studens--Waiter, where is my bill?
Man of the World-That is not the
way to ask for it. You should say,
waiter, 1 would like to settle my
account"
Student-Indeed. Well, am sorry to
say that am not such an accomplished
liar as to be able to make that statement.
/ Fliegende Blaetter.
EXPLAINED IN PART.
Tanks-What led you to suspect last
night that had been drinking2
Il
bly, it was the fact that you were drunk
Buffalo Quips.
WONDERFUL FLIES.
At the Post Office.
Postmaster-What wonderful In
stinct flies have! Lohmann has just sent
me telegram in which he says that a
cask of honey is on its way to me, and
Pm hanged If there is not swarm of flies
already at the post Office window waiting
for it.--[Fliegende Blaettor.
THE p. s. BOTHERED HER.
Haven't you written that letter yet,
Amer"
eyes. George, dear. That is, all ex-
cept the postscript. I'm trying to
think of something to say in IT,
[Harper's Bazaar.
HoNoRs STILL EASY.
Mother-The paper says n cat out
West has four kittens with six legs each.
What do you think of that ?
Little Ethel-Thats-le see
that's twenty-four legs. Well, our cat
has six kittens with four legs each, an
that's just as many.-[Good News.
A CASE OF LocKJAw.
"Lockjaw must be very unpleasant
thing to have"
st Is indeed. carry scar in The
calf of my left leg from case of it."
"Of lockjawP'
Eyes. A bulldog and had it to-
gether. ~ Harper's Bazaar.
POPULAR TAX.
Binks--I read curious article the
other day advocating tax on beauty.
Jinks-Good idea. They won't have
much trouble in collecting Il. -[Quips.
GREEN ENOUGH.
She--Did yOor grandfather live to q
green old agei