The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1893-12-15
WOULD STAND NO rooL,no.

A Pioneer Landlord Who Settled All DIFF.
hculties with His Revoiver.
About noon the stage drove up to
long, low building, composed of sods
and poles, and the driver called to rs
that this was the place where we were
to eat dinner and change horses The
house was tavern and the owner OF it
came forward to receive the five pas
sengers and said:
'Glad to see you, gents-very glad.
Haven't got much in the way of din
ner, but, of course, you don't expect
much"
There were no conveniences for wash
ing, and when one of the men went to
| the landlord about it h. replied:
20! Never mind gettin' the dirt of.
I've lived here over two years and
haven't washed once. We don't put on
| any style out here"
Ws were about to sit down to dinner
when a shot was fired out doors and
the landlord came into the room to
say:
Sorry to bother you, gents, but as 1
| wait on the table myself you'll have to
| hold on for a few minutes. There's a
cuss out here who wants to be shot,
and as I'm ali ready it won't take over
! five minutes,
He seized his gun and went out and
after couple of shots the ''cuss'' was
| hit in the shoulder and rode off. The
dinner consisted of baked beans, corn
! bread, little bacon, and corn coffee,
and as the landlord served it out he
| said;
''Sorry 1 can't offer you more grub.
! but my Mexican cook got impudent
last night and had to plant him. 1
was just heapin' up the grave on the
other side of the road as you came in
! sight. Eat hearty, gents
Some tried to and some lost their APP
petites. Observing the latter, the gen
ial host observed:
| ''Better fill right up. gents, as this
stage will probably be stopped at Red
creek by road agents, and they may
keep you standing around till to-1iiof-
! row."
Something was said by the kicker OF
the party about the absence of napkins
and tab1e-c1oth, and the landlord
promptly replied:
| ayes, / know, did start it with ia
ble-cloths, but the neighbors came and
begged 'em fur shrouds fur people
killed by the Indians, and I've clean
run out. Sorry about it, but we have
to help each other out here, you know y
''Meat seems to be pretty scarce with
you" observed passenger who had
failed to get taste.
Eyes, rather, but only at the present
time. Last week had oceans of meat,
but I got into a row with the teller
who was freighting it down for me,
and he's planted just beyond the Next
ican.''
| When we went to settle out for the
meal the landlord said it would be -four
dollars apiece. There was general
kick about the price, and he threw ur
his hands and exclaimed:
''Great lands! but what is this coun
try coming to, anyway? A month age
I had to shoot a traveller for insisting
on having white sugar in his coffee.
| Two weeks ago 1 had to kill another
for kicking about a looking glass. Last
week I plunked man from Chicago
| who wanted hair brush, and now I've
got to kill the five of you to get what
that dinner actually cost me! Do yor
fellers imagine that all 1 have to dc
out here is to dig graves and shove
back the dirt?"
He seemed so hurt in his feelings that
we paid him the four dollars apiece ant
| went our wav. but in the course of hal.
an hour something happened to solacs
u.s. We met three men on horseback,
who halted us that one of them might
inquire:
'Do you know if ole Dan Smith are
at home?"
sYou mean Smith of the Forty Mile
house. suppose?" answered the driver
eve do"
tYes, he's home"
"Much obleeged. We ar goin' W
thar to fill his old carcass with leat
and plant him alongside his cook!'-
N Y. Herald.
FAVOR is one of those things which yor
can best keep in ~ asking for none ot It.