davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
Variations of a Jest.

That there is very little that is new
under the sun is shown perhaps more
frequently in the jokes that are told
than in anything else. A story has
been going the rounds of late concern
ing the trepidation of a small boy, who,
upon being asked rather grufiy by his
school-teacher who discovered America,
began to whimper, and instinctively
blurted out:
"F-please, sir, it wasn't mel
This has it's counterpart in an anus
ing school-boy tale told many years
ago by an English teacher who believed
in the powers OF the birch to restore
fading memory. Having asked one OF
his scholars the question: WHO made
this glorious universe the boy re-
piled: II don't know, sir"
Come" said the teacher, taking up
his switch, 'syou must know. Tell me-
or I shall whip you"
The boy looked at the whip a mo-
ment, and then with a characteristic
SWIVEL confessed:
Please. teacher, I did, but / won't
do it again."-Harper's Young People.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

-Ready-made sermonsm may be bought
at two places in London.
Michigan legislators have defeated
a bill proposing to tax church property.
Mr.. Joseph Pulitzer has given $780,
900 to Columbia college, New York city.
-Baptists possess S32, 900, 900 of school
property and endowments in the United
States.
DR.. John G. Patton has been able t.
give So, 900 to his work in the New
Hebrides, from the profits of his auto
biography.
1t is calculated that there are 5000
Protestant missionaries at work in the
world, being l to every 1866, 900 of the
unevangelized.
Mrs. Magnusson, the vice-president
for Iceland of the Worlds w. C. 7. IT,,
has founded a girls school in Iceland.
1t is the only one among 20, 900 inhab-
itants.
negotiations are in progress for
the establishment of an Au~stralasian
will be subscribed by Catholics through
out Australasia.
One Congregational church in Hon
olulu raises annually $50, 900 for reli-
gious, educational and missionary pur-
poses-an average of $40 per member
Central Congregationalist.
Bronze doors cast IN one piece and
decorated with panels carved in relief
are Mr.. William Waldorf Astor's gift
to Trinity chuIch in memory of his
father, the late John Jacob Astor.u
The bishopric of Natal, South At
RIGA, which has been practically ex-
tinct since the death of Bishop Colenso
in 1868, has been revived by the APP
pointment to that see of Rev. Arthur
Hamilton Bayne, of Greenwich, En-
gland.
Andrew d. White; of Cornell uni
versity, writes: Let me say that |
knew a young student to smoke
cigarettes who did not disappoint ex-
pectations. | have watched this for
thirty years and can not recall a single
exception to the rule"
The pope's will has been made for
many years. The document is in Latin,
and begins with a humble confession
of human weakness and appeals to the
merits of our Lord and all the saints.
In it Leo NH. distinctly disclaims all
personal inclination in the matter of
the choice of his successor.
At the request of the board of man.
ayers of the American Sabbath union,
George S. Mott, DID,, chairman of
Sabbath observance committee of the
synod of New Jersey, has accepted the
position of acting president of the union
for the present, to supply the vacancy
occasioned by the death of the late
Col. Elliott F. Shepard.
The most serious menace to church.
| going in England is said to be cycling.
A few churches have tried to induce
wheelmen to come in for morning serv-
ice, but the bicycles of a few who have
done so nave been stolen by local
church members, and the wheelman
now say hat they will not go to church
unless the church insures their ma
chimes. Many of the clergy have be-
come enthusiastic wheelmen, and it is
said that one country parson who was
recently called on to officiate at a flu
neral wanted to ride to the cemetery on
a wheel, wearing a surplice.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
IGNiS

We learn scant wisdom CT he years
That swiftly come II &c.
On losses, and our chilling fears,
The griefs that lay Us low,
Come back again in other guiSe
To poison other years;
Still, ever in the presents eyes
The future dries to tears,
And thu orgh the cycles as they fly
Our hearts with anguish wiring.
"Nay, let US murmur not" we cry,
There comes a better thing"
So, dreamers all, we bide the time
When somewhere shall be ours,
On other shores, III other cline,
Life'S fragrant, unplucked flowers.
Tomorrow S promise sheds it's grace =
Der every yesterday,
AS on before, with radiant face,
Hope beckons us the way.
The flutter of her silver wing
While life endures we see.
Touched with the glory of the thing
That, some time, is TO be.
Mary r Merton, in Chicago Graphic.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
A Sage Burglar.

Heard about Progg? "A burglar
broke into his house last night, and
this morning poor Progg is a raving
maniac"
What Internal means did the villain
take to brighten him out of his mind?'
"Oh, he simply turned the tables on
our friend. You see, Progg had been
expecting burglars for a long time, and
so he had had his wife hide his loose
change in the pocket of one of her
dresses in the closet. The burglar
made Progg hunt up the money, and
sat back and smoked while the search
was going on."-National Tribune.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22

horses, and a yacht-and the.presents
l can make you all.
"'Mv father should wear a broad
cloth coat, my brother should sail a
painted boat lam dreadfully tired OF
seeing mother and father going around
in shabby clothes. l don't think, Jo,"
rather wistfuily, lit is altogether
selfshness that prompts me to marry
him"
No; but suppose some day you
meet Jack, AMI he should say: An
nette. | nave come back to ask you to
be my wife'-how would you feel?"
Annette buried her face in her hands;
then, after a minute, she said: That
is all nonsense, 10; he never will come
back. ! dreamed only the other night
that he was married to some girl out IN
those western wilds. You always We're
S o romantic; l am SO glad Geoff turned
out a nice man. l suppose you would
have gone and died if he hadn't. Now,
l am sensible and practical. l have no
faith in men, and | am not going to
live forgotten and die forlorn for such
a mere chance as your romantic imag-
ination has conjured up. l am going to
marry Mr.. Smith"
Then you prefer Mr.. Smith and his
millions to JACKIE said Mrs. Murray,
rather sadly.
mo; but l prefer living without Jack
acih money, to living with Jack aoithout
money" replied Annette, airily. Il
told the old gentleman wanted a week
to consider his proposition, and l shall
not send him his answer until the week
is up. That will be in five days more,
butt have decided"
Now where was Jack? The very
afternoon the sisters had the converse
ton that affected his happiness sonear-
ly, he vas tumbling some of his belong.
lngs into a grip-anyway, or anyhow,
ward bound train.
why don't you wait until to-mor-
row?" asked his mother. Twenty.
four hours will make very little differ
ence.''
"Twenty-four hours is a long time
when it is added on to three years that
you have been longing to see some one,
mother" returned Jack. "Good-by,'
and he was gone. His mother watched
him down the road. then sighed. 81
hope Annette is still free she muir
INJURED.
Then she walked to a little hill, from
the top of which she could see the train
that vas taking her boy to the girl he
loved. To the mother, it seemed to &C
very fast; but the son thought i,
crawled. 1t would take him five days
to reach Annette. It was Wednesday,
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
ROYAL Appointments.

We often lament the character Of ap.
pointments to office under party rule.
which sometimes gives the ''spoils" to
the victor, but they have lever been as
conspicuously unfit, probably, as the
appointments made by royal ~personages
in the past.
This old fashion of favoritism is well
satirized in a story told of NJ. Bignon, a
person of very little learning, who vas
made royal librarian by King Louis
XIV, of France.
When the news of this appointment
was fbrought by Bignon to his uncle, NJ.
d'Argenson, the uncle, exclaimed:
Good, nephew. Now you have an
admirable opportunity to learn tc
read!"--Youth's Companion.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22

and he could not possibly see her before
Sunday afternoon. How endless were
the prairies, how broad the rivers, that
he would cross before he would be
near Annette. A week ago, he would
have thought a fortnight a short time.
Then he had expected to wait two o
years at least, But now everything was
changed, and five days seemed like five
months, and his impatience increased
with every hour, although each one
brought him nearer his destination.
In the past week the man died who
had SO shamefully defrauded his
brought to realize the enorm1ty of his
sin in defrauding the widow and or
phan. Consequently he not only left
them their own money, but added
enough to keep them in comfort for
rest of their lives. That was the rea-
son Jack was speeding eastward as
fast as the train would take him.
The idea that Annette might be mar
ried new occurred to him until he ar
rived at her house and inquired for
Miss Gregory, and was told she vas
not at home. He asked for Mrs. Greg
Dry, who greeted him cordially, in
formed him Annette was visiting her
sister, and invited him to tea.
No, thank you," he said. IF you
will kindly give me Annette.s address.
l think l will try and get a train, and
go on there to-day"
Mrs. Gregory did as he requested.
And an hour and a half later Jack was
being ushered into Mrs. Murray's par.
lor.
The first person he saw was Annette
seated'in front of a table Uttered with
pen, ink and writing paper. She was
not writing, but was biting the end Of
her pen with a troubled expression, a;
if the task she had set herself was any
thing but an easy one. Jack did mo-
wait for any formalities. Annette
raised her eyes, saw him. and with
little cry rose to receive him. HI
walked up to the table and said, blunt
ly: Annette, l have come back to asl
you to be my wife"
Annette laughed-such a gay, gla'
laugh. We'll, won't you sit down b.
the fre?" she said, land get warm
You are real western, aren't you? D
the men out there propose to girls i'm
| mediately on entering the room. instea
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
THE SHERlFF'S MISTAKE.
He Thought the Lawyer Did Not Know His
Business.

AAO nv hb thC =" St DAo ANob DO ms
Business.
Some years ago a country town in a
western state possessed an absent
minded old lawyer who was as strong
as the judge, at that time presiding,
was weak, and the lawyer felt such a
contempt for the judge that it was all
he could do to keep himself from being
fined for it. One day the judge during
a trial had to leave the bench for half
an hour and the court took a recess.
The old lawyer was studiously porting
over a law book when all at once he
rose to his feet.
May it please your honor" he be-
gan, when the sheriff stopped him.
Whats the matter?" he asked very
seriously.
why, sir, you forget yourself" re-
sponded the sheriff, who thought he
was in earnest.
How, 'sir?" Numbered the old man
as if the sheriff had been a witness un-
der cross-examination.
There's no Judge on the bench, sir"
explained the sheriff.
well, who said there vase" queried
the lawyer. Everybody in this coun-
ty knows that, sir, and has known It
for two years or more, and he sat down
amidst applause, just as the judge came
in.-Detroit Free Press.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
At the Grand Central Depot.

Mrs. Manhattan Beach having go
into the car to go OIL a visit to hel
mother in Albany suddenly changes
her mind and descends from the car 70
the platform, where husband is stand
ing.
He-Why, what's the matter2
She-When you kissed me good-b!
you smiled. Oh. / am on to you!
am not going now.-Texas Siftings.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22
Sufficiently Tough,

Aspiring Youth-You advertised 70
a college graduate to assist you.
Publisher-Yes. Did you ever plaI
football?
"Um-yes-thousands of times"
You'll do. We want a man to peddI
books Good News.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1893-07-22

HE day is done,
and the dark
ness falls from
the wing of
nigh t." re-
pea ted Jose
phine Murray,
in her low,
musical voice.
''Jo,'' inter-
rupted her sis
I O '. ~ inst
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29
ABOUT METHODS.

Methods are important things to
observe in the South. The man with
the improved method is the one who
wins. The Mexican farmer who
scrapes the surface of the ground
with stick can never compete with
the American who has steel pillow
The latest Improvement in Southern
farming methods is a machine which
picks cotton. A leading Southern
paper says that ''In view of the in
creasing cotton output of the world,
the south must get ready for low
prices. by lessening the cost of pro-
duction. We must make the cheap
est cotton on the globe. This is the
solution of the cotton problem.
The agricultural experiment station
of Texas reports that the cost per
pound of ndpicked cotton is
409c, while machine-picked cotton
has been raised at 2.12c. per pound.
These figures allow for every expense
up to the time of delivering the bales
at the railroad station. Farmers
must look to decreased cost of pro-
duction in cotton, tobacco and other
crops. This matter is in their hands,
while the prices for which they can
sell depends on a great many condi-
tions, few of which he has any control
of. The modern farmer must be pro
gressive, he must be student of
methods, he must be reader of
papers. If he is not these he must
be content to live in more or less
poverty and be slave to unsatis-
factory conditions.
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29
THE SOUTH AND LITERATURE

An interesting article and timely
one is published in the June issue of
the North Carolina Teacher. The
subject is ''The South as a Field for
Literature" and the author is Mr.. R.
E. Ware, principal of the Reidsville
schools. In neat Introduction he
speaks of the unexampled bravery OF
the Southern soldier, the nobility
and devotion of the women of the
South, its orators and statesmen.
Then he frankly acknowledges her
poverty in literature. His reasons
for this we conceiveto be well stated.
The first cause is the lack of educa-
tional facilities in this section while
we were colonies and for many years
after the revolution. Secondly, the
South had no large cities and was
without public libraries. Had there
been one Boston in the South there
would be a difference because large
cities are centres of culture and
literary production. The South has
now few big cities, but they are not
su fficiently well esta blished in literary
ways to have much influence. In the
third place, the war between the
States with all it's misfortune and
devastation prevented the develop
ment OF literature, and the days of
81 a.
equally bad in its effects. A fourt h
reason, as stated by Mr.. Ware, is
that Southern authors did not re-
ceive the encouragement that was
their due. Northern authors were
given preference on Southern book
shelves on almost the same principle,
we suppose, that Paris fashions have
precedence everywhere else.
How yer, the South is in d period
OF literary regeneration. Geo. W.
Ceble's sketches of creole life in Lou
isiara are widely read and Mr.. Cable
is a successful lecturer. Miss Kir 2
and Mr.. Hearn of New Orleans are
regular contributors to the best
American magazines. Georgia has
produced Richard Malcolm Johns
ton, Joel Chandler Harris and
Harry S Edwards. Virginia has
Thomas Nelson Page, whose dialect
stories are known all over the CONT
nent, Amelie Rives Chanler, called by
some the american Oudia," though
she hardly deserves that title, Miss
Baylor, Miss McClelland, Miss
Magruder and Mr.. A. C. Gordon.
Among other Southern writer's are
Chas. Egbert Craddock OF Tennessee,
James Lane Allen of Kentucky, ard
Christian Reid" Of North Carolina.
Mr.. Ware takes a cheerful view ofthe
future, because, as he says, ''the
progress of the South financially,
educationally and religiously during
the past decade is without prece-
dent
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29
IA OdernSampsOns.

The New York Herald describes the
physical prowess of Ernest Sandow,
a modern Sampson, who is giving a
series of athletic feats in New York,
under the management of Henry E.
Abbey. One of Shadows feats is
that of supporting on a platform,
with his arms and legs three horses
the aggregate weight of which is
$500 pounds.
This calls to mind another strong
man who fiourished some years ago
1t is on record that George Spotman
of Philadelphia, once lifted the
enormous weight of 3, 800 pounds of
iron. This modern Hercules raised
that enormous weight, and with his
load, took walk around the hall
where he was exhibiting his powers.
Spotman is giant in muscle and
structure. He stands feet AZ inches
IN his stockings, measures so inches
round his chest and weighs 273
pounds, scarcely an ounce of which
is superfiuous.
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29


cheer the disconsoIate; of patriotism
because it will cherish the past
glories of the dead Confederacy and
transmute them into living inspira-
tions for future service to the living
republic; of truth, becauseit will seek
to gather and preserve as witnesses
for history the unimpeachab BILE facts
which shall doom falsehood to die
that truth may live; of justice, be-
cause it will cultivate national as
well as Southern fraternity and will
condemn narrow mindedness and
prejudice and passion, and cultivate
that broader, higher, nobler senti-
ment, which would write on the grave
of every soldier who fell on either
side: Here lies and American hero,
a martyr to the right as his concience
conceived it, +"
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29
TheGcmniexiau-

The complexion is something that
from time immemorial has been tie
cause of more worriment to woman
kind than any other physical charm.
A truly beautiful complexion is rare,
but .much can be done to improve
upon one that is not faultless. Tight
lacing and the wearing of insufficient
clothing in winter have most dis
astFous effects upon the skin, a red
nose, the most trying of all the evils,
being frequently produced in this
way. 1t may sound a little harsh to
say that the generality of women do
not wash their faces They give
them a little dab and consider the
performance finished, therefore the
pores of the skin become cIogged up
and the muddy complexion is the
natural consequence. The face should
be thoroughly washed with soap and
warm water; this does not mean hot
water, that will react and cause the
skin to be tender, but lukewarm
soGpsuds are the very best bea utifier
for the skin that can possibly be
employed. Exercise and care of the
diet are the two essentials which will
materially assist in giving us a skin
somewhat like that which we so
ardently desire.
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29
THE CAPTURE.

Perhaps Editor Goslin and Charley
Rnolds have wanted further proof of
If so, they have it now. Peter
DeGraf, the alleged slayer of Ellen
Smith, has been taken without the
assistance of a posse from the
editorial room of the Union Republi-
can. The position of THE SENTINEL
proved to have been right and
that of the Republican to have been
wrong in the period just subsequent
to the murder. THE SENTINEL did
not try to bolster up it's case by
having political letters written from
Waughtown, South Fork and Ker-
nersville. 1t told the truth accord
ing to its information and published
such rumors as seemed to bear the
impress OF truth. The capture is
another feather in Sheriff McArthur's
cap, and the credit of this arrest is
shared in by his assistants, Police
men Adams and Cofer.
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29
THE GREAT REUNION.

At birmingham on the 10Th ard
Goth of next month there will be a
great re union of Confederate Veter.
ans. All soldiers who fought on
the Confederate side are requested
to meet at once and organize camps
SO that they can have representa-
ton at that meeting. The object OF
the organization is social, literary,
historical and benevolent; it will
endeavor to gather authentic data
for an impartial history of the war
between the States, to preserve relics
and mementoes, to cherish the ties
of friendship that should exist
among those who shared common
dangers, sufferings and privations,
to care for the needy and disabled,
to protect the widow and orphan
and to preserve the record and
services of every member.
We take the following from the
address of Gen. Gordon:
liz oil x 10 nttOtd
to secure for those objects your en-
thusiastic endorsement. They have
burdened your thoughts for many
years, you have cherished them in
sorrow, poverty and humiliation.
In the face OF misconstruction you
have held them in your hearts with
the strength of religious convictions.
No misjudgments can defeat your
peaceful purposes for the future
Your aspirations have been lifted by
the mere force and urgency OF sur
rounding conditions to plane far
above the paltry consideration of
partisan triumphs. The honor of the
American Republic, the just powers
of the federal government, the equal
rights of states, the integrity of the
constitutional union. the sanctions
of law and the enforcement of order
have no class of defenders more true
and devoted. than the eE-soldiers of
the South and their worthy descend
ants. But you realize the great
truth that a people without the
memories of heroic suffering and
sacrifices are people without a
history.
CucIl6A S-tChIOilCo cbAd
recall snch past, whether crowned
with successor consecrated in defeat,
is to idealize principle and strengthen
character, intensity love of country
and convert defeat and disaster into
pillars of support for future man
hood and noble WOmanhood.
Whether the Southern people under
their changed conditions may ever
hope to witness another civilization
which shall equal that which began
with their Washington and ended
with their Lee, it is certainly true
that devotion to their glorious past
is not only the surest guarantee OF fu-
ture progress and the hottest bond of
unity, but is also the strongest claim
they can present to the. confidence
and respect of other sections of the
Union.
cit is a Brotherhood oyer which
the genius of philanthrophg and
patriotism, of truth and of justice
will preside; of philanthrophy, be-
cause it will succor the disabled, help
the needy, strengthen the weak and
The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1893-06-29

There were two turkeys in a farm
er's yard. one was wise and the other
was foolish. The wise turkey said,
"Ah; Thanksgiving Day is approach
ing; shall starve myself and there
by be able to live longer" The
foolish turkey said, "No, sir; | am
going to eat all can "All right, y
said the wise turkey, ego ahead. "
So the foolish turkey ate, became
fat, and had lots of fun, but the wise
turkey starved himself and bece me
thin. When Thanksgiving Day
arrived the honest farmer killed both
the wise and foolish turkey, and by
putting a stone inside the wise turkey
made him weigh more than the fool
ish one. Moral: Never give up a
good thing.