New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-10-08

sr,,rg qualities Of mind. He had always iou"s
some good bumps on every head:
I-pon these good bumps 1t was MS hao'. u ON.
,,fv and his subjects usually leit MN iee''iis ''
they were paragons OF virtue anu ihoue'' - ~
lect. ,.. A,, ,,,hoss ora.
t, deveIonment gave indications OF any kiho
81 virtue whatever. He felt that there was 10 iin''
To the harm such man might uo' ine ~"
oiets own incrusted conscience was toucheu iAs
resolved that he would not feed this man OH Peas'
an, batteries. as he had all his previous subjects.
He would tell him the bald, dlsasreeapie "u'"' ies
the consequences be what they might
Ger" said the phrenologst, ''in the first place
YOU are a very plain man.
"weu 7 had that impression" answered the SUBJ
loot myself But am glad to have TINS impress
sion emphasized by such scientific OPINION as your
own | am a very plain and homey man. lhis 10
do,,gbtfm So was Socrates. His Athenian neigh-
hors said he looked like satyr when means 'ha'
no WAS as homely goat. so was Chdres 'n'
Fifth That mouth OF his, the EncycIopaedia D'i'"'
Mica intimates was perfect deiornii'y' ." i"'''
Won know says his personal presence was 'ie""'
and Abraham Lincoln was never nay.
beauty. George Eliot. you know, would never nav
bor nicture taken | am glad to know am IN sucn
good company. Go on! , A..
'Your temper, / am sorry TO say. eo"'''"e' VIC
| nhrenologst lis a very fiery ana uhmahaseap'e
| one" - ,,. ..r
enOuPht good enough. Sdl' t' ""'JN~'
thought so myself but / am glau 10 near
| von s.v 90 You remember what tenn
| nor old Corolanus had. You remember no"
lanes Parton said Andrew Jackson was Su'"e,'"'e'
| like a Gagged tiger. You remember 10" "a'"'9
ton used to get mad, and how he swote d, iie"'o'',
| You remember how Thomas Carlyle "Se' - H""'.
| and tear. and how old Samuel johnson useh 10 get
| o1 ~ ,hn face and break the dishes and how
| Martin Luther used to froth around on am gao
YOU told this 1t ranks me a. oy m'o,lS Go oni
| OF the most illustrious men OF the "0''' ~ 49,
| go on, let's hear some more. ..,.,,. ~ cav II"
7.Nv friend it pains me inexpresslbly 10 HaS y,
Good, good this is better than eNpeces,, ny,
lust look Lord Bacon one OF mink of his en-.
| bezzlements Then look at Shabespea,re, u dsers
greatest man the w e, be ev ranked with Bacon and
Shakespeare Professor here Is a"o''er uo''"' Nv
You are an awful liar" .. ,o.,or than
"Hurrah' this is turning ont mucn oesee, was "a
| car 4 Poe and Cardinal Rchelieu ana 'a'''i'ai
Wosey and Machiavellt and, Ia. a., rrsociab bile &"
you are apt to be glum. moody ana ,,1; m.
Good! was Grant hawthorne "'''a"' '"'
| Silent. Dante and ,,.
Glorious, glorious, You remember Jnlns ysr
that he used to wear rost snd most Of
| the Roman emperors were 80 con'ttiot we fohn
MI non had AZ an exalted opinion of himself almost
as have oil mysel',
so sso' was sS' cocrise and the poet Thompson
| "You are treacherous
| 80 HANNIBAL
"You selfish
| go was Napoleon.
"You drink" .,
| 80 did Byron, Burns, AleXandei ahu
you are deformcd. , ,,ox.,A..
so was Esop and King Richard ana -AieAdhue'
PODe and
You are improvident. -, -, ,,,.,.-
so Daniel Webster ana i'lchatu pii"''~S
Sheridan and
You are visionary. 3,
$50 was Columbus and Savonarola and
why man. you're crazy - -,
so was Cowper and George The Third ana Joha'
than Swift and
FINALLY" broke In the disguised phrenologist'
You have all the sins in the catalogue ,
II am glad that have met you sdld inc SUD
| iect as he put on his hat 10 depart You nave en-
! couraged me more than can tell. You nave conf
| pared mo with Shakespeare. Bacon, Milton Bona
! Darte Socrates Caesar Washington, Lincoln, iaw.
! thorn. and most of the Other great men, ahcths
! and modern foreign and native. nave discovered
that / possess all the clements of great mess ma
All the charact eristicS Of the greatest poets the
| greatest philosophers the greatest statesmen ana
| the greatest leaders Of men OF all Tune nave
| long suspected all this myself; but II ENCOURAGES
| me more than | express to have IL supstaitir,
! ated bv such an eminent authority as yourself
shall now entcatcr to develop 70 the utmost an no
qualities which YOU say possess. snall make ing
| most of them. and whatever may become shaii
ALWAYS feel that | owe IL all very largely 10 you,
| The subject then took his departure with a glau'
triumphant look upon his face, ana inc pnrenolo,,
gist sat down and thought and thought ana
| thoIieht SAM WALTER FOSS.