St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-03-17
THE MAGISTRACY OF UNCLE
CEPHAS.

clt6u cOncOurS6 OF cOlOleu people SIdnu-
ing under the famous oak at that place.
Upon approaching and making Inquiry
| learned that Uncle Cephas-now
Squire Bolden-who along with some
| others of his race had recently been ap-
| pointed magistrate, was about to hold
his first court.
| El0Owing my way through the dense
| crowd till | reached and mounted one OF
| the gnarled roots of the oak, l was en-
abled to overlook the sea of heads and
survey the court. On the safest corner
| of a very unsteady shuckframe was
perched the presiding magistrate, his
ebony forehead, which bowed back
without limit over his bald pate. covered
! with an appropriate frOwn. The rest OF
! the frame held the six jurymen, who
! leaned against or sat upon 1t ac-
! cOrdlng to each ones confidence in its
stability. The prisoner, q vagabOndish
| but Misunderstanding man, on whose
crow-black face fright was imprinted in
an asly cast, was wrapped up in ropes
and placed in the middle of the shuck-
frame for safe keeping.
! had scarcely gained my position and
taken in the surroundings when the
! court opened.
! de court am now adjurned en- will
| in loud voice, as he removed his hat
and dropped it on the ground. 'Let
whomsomedever gwi pussycute dis pus-
| sun hyere in de shuck-frame now speak
up er f'rever hole his peaceW he con-
| tinued with solemnity.
A ySung mulattO, the Smartness of
! whose dress eliminated in a highly
| glazed paper collar, slowly arose from
| one of the oak roots, cleared his throat
| in the most approved legal fashion and
announced that he had been engaged to
conduct the prosecution.
"Well den, shoot, Luke, er give up de
| gum" exclaimed the court after the
| counsel had wasted good while fumbl-
| ing through his pockets in a somewhat
perfunctory manner.
mister Magistrate Ell genermen OBJ
! de jury" began the prosecutor after
this warning, you am dissembled ter
gedder hyere dis purity day under dis
blue sky Ell desc green leabes to deform
one er de higheS' juties er freemunS en-
Teller citizens"
"De gentermuns better not take quite
SIGH er big chip. ell chop er PIP cloSeter
to de line" put in the court.
You am ASSEMBLED tergedder," con-
tinued the counsel, in no wise abashed,
"hyere to see dat er pussun dat needs
| jeStice weSS'n anybody III de Succle err
my whole intelligence gifts hit, ell gifts
| er plenny OBJ it. heaped up, sheken
| down, sQushed in en- runnin' ODER. En-
ef-ef de law didn' inquire dat some
! coufusions must perceed out'n demouf
| er de puSsycuter, ev'y word dat would
! be necessary would be, 'Hyeres Nieky-
Gemus en- dal's de linn er grapevine, >"
! pointing to stout grapevine which
| lay on the frame near the magistrate.
! "EV'body knows he's done broke ev'y
| law dat been made sence dey fuSt start
| ed TO maxim laws, sides all sights en-
! stacks un um dat nebber ali been made.
| He's broke um Straight-Way en- broke
um sideways EN- broke elm crossways, en-
| broke um sloperdicler, ell broke UNI
puppendicler, uppendicler, downendic-
| Ter ell roun'endicler twel he's nately Wo'
I UNI out to er FRAGILE.
But, es de law do inquire some con-
fusiOns to perceed fun de mouf er de
pussycuttin' lyyer, l will perceed.
FuStly, who is dat in de Shukk frame?
| Nickydemus Wagstaff! What is he ex-
cused OBJ? Ev'ything in God ermighty's
worP 'cep'n one theng, en- dial is doin'
right. Eben de biggis' lier twIxt Roam
Oke en- Tar river never excused him er
! dom dat.
who'll come to yer house en- boiler
| tull he'll make yer walk two miles from
! yer work en- mebbe wade de crick. Ell
| den deS want to bOrry five cents? Who
| Gin gin er thOusin' reasons why yer mus
LEM him er dollar en- den turn roun' EN-
gin ten thousan' wy he ca pay it?
Who en- make de biggis promus Ell de
| Titles kerformence in de Nunited
States? Who en- outargyfy Daniel Web
ster hisself when he wants to git holt er
"A Il rrrir,
when yer tries to bre'k dat holt?
"WhO is de laZis', lyinist. eatinls',
outlandishis', worryinis' niger avn dis
side OBJ de river? Who aggyvates en-
'sturbs de neighborhood till dey dom
know dar heels from dar head? Ergln
l axes yer who owes ev'body i'll twelb
mile er dis place, .er furder, eff he ranges
| furder? Who en- look into yer min en-
tell ter minute how lawng it take yer to
furgit dat las % cents he bOrrid ell den
| step right up ell borrv er nudder one?
| NickydemuS! En- now who ken be
Spar'd de bes' ell missed de less? Nicky-
demus!
The magistrate, who for some time
had been extremely busy trimming the
knots from thu grapevine with his pock-
etknife and twisting it into suppleness,
now paused and delivered the follow
| ing charge:
"Gentlemuns OBJ de jury, you's hveard
ernough to hang er whole cuppen Cow
penn full er niggers. En- all Pm got TO
say is dat pull'n fodder time putnigh
hyere en- dis is er mighty good chance
! to git ridder NickydemuS."
"Gentlcmuns OBJ de jury, is yer
| egreed?'' demanded Squire Bolden.
I'VE am, sab, came in dignified tones
| from the frame.
"What is de wordek?" solemnly de
manded Uncle Cephas.
"De wOrdick, sab. am it nebber won
do to let slip dis chance er gittin' ridder
| Nickydemus." was the reply.
'Stan' up, pris'ner," was the super
fluous order of the magistrate to the
condemned, who had been standing up
from the first. "You's done plenny
harm in dis worP fer one niger; en-
sides you's had er far trial 'fo' yer fell
| Ter citizens. Now, it's de Judgment er
dis court dat yer be hung to de biggis'
| linn avn Pop Castle oak wilder grape
| vine, Gaze t'ud be bad luck to use er
rope after it been bout dead folks. EN-
en- dat de jury is debbytixed to do de
hangin'."
Hold onI' l shouted, thoroughly
aroused by the groans of the prisoner
and the screams of his wife and chill
dren. "D0 you know that you are ABOUT
! TO deprive a human being of life against
law and justice. Why, not even wit
ness has appeared against him. Mind
what you do"
de gentermun in sto' cloze," replied
! the magistrate sternly, twill please
( don't bodder de exscusionments er dis
! hyere court De chac'ter er Nickyde-
mus Wagstaff is knOwed fer as de train
! goes. eff not er lip furder. De whole
yearth en- ev'ytheng in it b'rs witness
/ ergin him. Gentermuns, do yer july"
While l was struggling desperately to
force my way through the throng and
reach the spot, the ropes were stripped
from the prisoner, slIp-noose in the
grapevine thrown around his neck, and
he was dragged away to the designated
spot. One end of the vine weighted
with small stone was thrown over a
huge limb. The jury seized 1t as it fell
and pulled with might and main. The
doomed man rose, wildly kicking and
struggling against the background of