Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-06-01
TO CATCH THE TRAIN.
A Mighty Mean Experience, but There
Is No Help for 1t.

New York Herald: The man who has
to catch the early train to Somewhere
vile is to be pitied. He retires early,
the earlier the more sad his case.
Every passing sound from the street
falls upon his strained ears. He falls
at last along -oward 10 o'clock into
light slumber. His dreams are broken
there is no rest for him, for he is to
catch the early train
Along toward midnight he awakens
with start, grasps out in the darkness
wildly fIlmbleS for match, and knocks
his els and favorite corns against
the ). likes Of the rocker There are
alw; VS. spikes Oh the rocker of the
fello.- who has to hunt match in Or
der 10 look at he clock i'll order to see
the ,i:ne i'll order not to OverSleep in
order to catch the early train.
He blows out the match in disgust
1t is only L O'Clock. His train time is
$40; so he turns in for another snoOze
The man who has to catch the early
train-what awful dreams he hasl
Over his pillows dance all his grand
mothers since the food, singing III a
wild, discordant way. He sees sights
and hears voices; he rolls uneasily, noJy
and then catching little cat winks, only
to be awakened again and again-to
find that it is too early to get up,
The man WHO has the train fever
is a pItiful sight to behold. He signs
desperately in the darkness. He
thrashes around III bed. He hits ais
head against the wall. He curses his
evil luck. Why has he to catch a
TRAIN when ali the rest OF the world is
asleep? Why must he be a slave?
Confound those awful early trains,
anyhow! Why cannot the world be
run on common sense ideas? If the
managers of the railroads of the land
only had a grain of sense-just a grain
what Il world this WOULD be-
1t is in this fashion that the catcll-a
train man passes the earlier part of the
night. But the worst is yet to come.
As the night wears on or off, his
fears grow more and more pronounced.
Now he is not only afraid that he will
not catch the train, but he fears that he
will actually go to sleep. la the first
part OF the night he tried to sleep and
could not succeed; now he could sue
ceed, But he dare net try. All his
efforts are thus directed toward keep
ing aw5Gke-a hopeless task!
The CsTtcl-a-traiI. man rolls UneaSiIy
in his bed He drops INTO a CHASTITY
nightmare of q sleep. This is what he
sees:
Horrible visions OF railroad wrecks,
The figures $40 in blood, written by
a destroying angel On the side CT an
open grave.
Four-forty! four-forty! four-forty!
Now he sleeps a moment, and now
he has Left the toiling millions in the
big city and is rolling away, far across
the wide land, when diff, bang-tllere
is q grand railroad wreck, and he
wakes up or rather starts up, to strike
his thirteenth match to look at his.
watch to see what time it is, SO that he
viii get that train!
After tossing, rolling, pitching, heav-
ING, grooming, moaning and all the rest
for the better part of the last terrible,
hour, he finally sinks. into a soft,
dreamless rest, such as the beloved
poet loves TO figure as blessing the
sleep of the innocent child or the Me
elly-ldee'' OF the Bowery stage reCita-
ZIONIST. All, that sleep, Blessed be the
man who iIrvened it. Enough that the
poor, weary, catch-a-tra1f1 fiend can
sleep at all, even if it be but moment.
And sleep lie does. He is snoring away
like saWn1i1l.
Then a wllite-robed figure, bearing
large lamp, suddenly appears like an
apparition in the intense Ind1a-ink
gloom. It is his wife. Dear, patient,
loving soul, faithful to the last. has
somehow. in way known only to a
woman. managed to keep awake, or,
rather, to sleep until the proper time.
and now she is here, and is saying, as,
she shakes him in q lively fashion:
Jim! Jimt Jim! Wake up: it is time,
for the trafnr'
''Train? Wazzer train-what is it,
anyway? Go way, now! Yes, I'm COM
ing. COM
"You bet you arer' gasps the woman,
taking him by the hair and Juggling
away v1ciously-anf then he awakens
with a start to hear her say: 'fYou
have inst ten minutes to catch the
4:4O. Now. hurry. dress and come
down to the kitchen, where there is a
pot of hot coffee for you: I have been
up half an hour and have everything
in readiness
And then the man rises and says:
Hump, Well. there is no need of
all this fuss. [ was inst on the point
of rising as YOU came into the room and
made all this Internal racket! Where's
my socks, anyway"