The record-union., 1893-11-03
A RUBBER OR Two.

''To my mind his conduct looks un-
commonly like insolence."
''It is certainly presumptuous. 1 sup
pose il will be allowed that we have
played whist before Mr.. Cramp arrived"
"Played whist! Good heavens! [
played whist, sir, before was breeehed!
The Penfolds have been a whist-playing
family for generations. My mother
played whist. and her mother! myself
am 63 years old, and l beg leave to state
that have lost as much money and made
rs much money at whist as any man OF
my means in England ~
'I don't pretend to have had your ex-
perience, General. but I have always
been under the impression that L have
some rudimentary notions of the game"
''Of course you have! And SOS the Ad-
miralp' General Penfold turned toward
Admiral Glover. He raised his voice to
roar. Haven't you, Admiral?"
The Admiral was sitting in an attitude
indicative of detection. He rubbed his
hands together.
''I should like to have rubber"
Mr.. Bowman leaned over toward the
Admiral and explained, in a crescenGo
scale.
"The General was asking if you had
any idea of the rudiments Of whist"
"Yes, q rubber at whist. But there are
only three Of Us.
The Admiral looked around the room,
as if he were searching for fourth. The
General glared at him.
THE old beggar gets deafer every day."
He thrust his hands into his trouser-
pockets. ''Its the craze of the day, the
desire to teach your grandmother. But,
hang me, if l ever thought it was going
10 come to whist"
''Only a visitor, too ~
"rve played whist in the club for over
fifteen years, and I've never been so sat
upon before. Why, if there's any rule in
whist which every tyro knows, 1t is the
rule which tells you that you're to return
your partners lead. When, the other
night, had this man Cramp for partner,
he never returned my lead except once
And then why on earth he did it l don't
know"
when I was playing with him"
plaintively commented Mr.. Bowman,
the trumped my trick. l have always
understood that to trump your partners
trick is not commendable thing to do.
Yet, when at the end of the hand l pointed
out to him what he had done, he appeared
to be quite surprised to find that l
thought he had done anything wrong"
"And then the way in which he plays
his trumps! When you're strong in
lead trumps when he had a singleton, and
stick to them like glue when he had six in
hand"
Have you noticed how the mans a
walking book-caseY"
II should think he's in the trade. Con-
found him, he's got book in every
pocket. Pve played whist all my life
and l never so much as looked at a
book. don't 60 in for theory, but prac-
tice."
"Of courser'
His long -winded words and scientific
balderdash stick in my throat l play
good old-fashioned English whist Pve
played good old-fashioned English whist
all my life l mean to play good old
fashioned English whist until die! It's
good enough for me. You can take
your twiddly-twaddly new theories and
your American buncomDe to somebody
who likes that kind of thing. l don't"
Just so.' A voice was heard on the
stairs. Here's Milis.''
'Confound Mills The man doesn't t
know club from spade" The door
opened. Mr.. Mills came in. Hello.
Mills; you're just the man we want
Come and make up the rubber"
Mr.. Mills declined.
THANK you, General. You know Pm
no player. But here is Mr.. Cramp."
Mr.. Cramp came in. He was willing.
81 shall be delighted"
Silence followed. The General and Mr..
Bowman looked at each other; then they
looked at Mr.. Cramp. Mr.. Cramp seemed
quite unconscious OF their scrutiny. He
seated himself at a table. He said:
II am spelling for game"
The General and Mr.. Bowman ad-
vanced toward the table. AS they went,
the General whispered ia Mr.. Bowman's $
ear:
"In for it, by gadp'
They seated themselves. The Admiral
brought up the rear. They cut for part
ners The General and Mr.. Bowman cut
together
GAS we sit" the General chuckled.
"You remember, General" remarked
Mr.. Cramp, that discussion l had with
YOU on leading from five, headed by a Sc
ries of four. l have here 'Bane on the
Penultimate'-
Mr.. Cramp produced little book from
an inner pocket of his coat.
at is my DEAL" interposed Mr.. Bow
man.
''I think I cut the lowest"
The General assented without so much
as sign Mr.. Cramp went on:
at is valuable little work. He says
here, on page eleven, referring to the
leads from hves, not trumps-"
"Will you cut to me, Mr.. Cramp?"
Mr.. Cramp cut to Mr.. Bowman and
then continued:
Here is the hand. Hearts trumps.
King, ten, five Of hearts. Ten, seven of
spades. Ace, queen, knave of diamonds.
Queen, knave, ten, nine and four of
clubs"
'Knave of clubs" Mr.. Bowman faced
the trump. would you mind taking up
your cards, Mr.. Cramp?"
"Eh-one-one moment. II should
like just to tell you what Bane says"
Couldn't you tell US what Bane says
after the rubber?"
u should very much like to get you
one of these little works, General Or
perhaps l might be able to get one for the
club. They are rather expensive. but [
think if were to try"
Are you in the book trade, Mr..
Cramp?"
think that?"
'You seem so anxious sir, that l
should purchase books which are abso-
lutely devoid of interest to me-"
Its your lead, Admiral ~ roared Mr.
Bowman behind his hand.
The Admiral led. The game progressed.
Some rather peculiar play was seen. Mr..
Cramp and his partner were little at
loggerheads. Mr. Cramp played his
game, tile Admiral played his. The re-
suit was that though they had a little
the best of the cards, their adversa-
ries scored two by tricks. Mr.. Cramp
endeavored to observe on this as the Ad-
miral began to deal.
Didn't you notice my call?" he in
quired Of his partner.
The Admiral dealt calmly on.
Didn't you notice my call ?" be re-
peated little louder
Still the Admiral dealt. Mr.. Bowman's
countenance wore bland smile.
ou'1 have to shout if you want to
make him hear" he said.
Didn't you notice my call?" yelled
Mr. CramD