Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-06-29
Sprinkles of Spice.


else. .-Atchison Globe.
JoNEs-I say, Miss Brown, how Is
it that you are always out when /
call? She-Oh, just luck.--Life.
HE-Do you know, darling, l have
never kissed anyone before? She
Well this is no kindergarten.-Life.
"YoU say Smith leads dual life?"
Yes; he's bull on the Stock Ex~
change and a bear at home. "-Phila~
delphia Record
By some strange oversight none Of
the pictures OF angels you see have
blue sashes tied around their waists.
--Atchison Globe.
WHEN man is thrown bodily out
of saloon he seldom returns to look
for the power behind the thrown
Philadelphia Record.
THESE are the days when the cry
is "dress REFORM" and it must be adj
mitted that much reform needs dress
ing.-Lowell Courier.
"DID the whole company rise and
drink Howler's health?" "He didn't
say, but l guess they did, for he isn't
able to sit up this morning. Inter
Ocean.
do YOU think a porous plaster can
cure him from stuttering?" Doctor
Yes; when he comes to take it off
he will swear without stopping
Inter Ocean.
"THINGs are coming my way at
last" murmured Hamphat, the ira
gedian, as he lodged deceased cat
and received an ancient egg in the
right ar.-Philadelphia Record.
STRANGER addressing an old brick
layer)-Uncle, who's building this
house? "Mr Hrschbug, he build de
house, put Queen Anne she drawed
de plan. Reformed Messenger.
(WHICH of us would you rather
have?" asked one of the two men
who were running across the field. II
don't care, " replied the bull, its a
toss-up between you. p Washington
Star.
"CADLEY yawned awfully while
DR.. Hicks was telling that story last
night. Il know; but the Doctor
cot even with him. Sent Cad a bill
for inspecting his throat. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
> GovERNEss-How long is it since
, Rome was founded? Little Fanny
Rome was founded 2,848 years ago.
Aged Observation-Disclosures me, how
time does slip away.-Pittsburg Dis
] patch.
e The OLDER ONE-The happiest
time in my life was when / was ap-
preaching womanhood. The other.
] Yes? But you always seem happiest
. when approaching manhood. Brook
Ign Life
Two FRIENDS MEET. First Friend
-Oh-er-Jaryis, would you mind
pretending to pick quarrel with
. me and just giving me a push, you
! know? | want to test the pluck Of
this big dog of mine. -TidBits.
MRS. -"They must fit
these men clubs up very gorgeously
! inside" Mrs. Worldly = "Why?"
= Mrs. Unsophist-"I heard your hus-
, band tell mine that he was playing
the whole evening on velvet. Life
/ II NEVER knew a man who was as
l vain over his personal appearance as
i. Bumkins is" "Humph; we'll soon
f cure him of that" "How?" "We'H
5 arrange to have his picture printed
in the newspapers - Washington
, Star.
DIsCoURAGING.-W Raggles-
/ Please, mister, can't you give me
little assistance? Mr. Newcomer
Dig up this garden and l will give
: you so cents. Weary Raggles-Bet-
ter keep it, boss; you'll need it to
buy vegetables with. Puck.
Mrs. FRoNTEPEw-I don't see why
our pastor should be SO continually
9 urging upon the congregation the
necessity of loving one another.
Frontepew - Humph! Every mar
r rage ceremony he performs brings
him at least $5.-Buffalo Courier. !
, MRS. WITHERBY = Did you ask
your mother if you could have two
pieces Of cake, Bobbie? Bobbie
: Bingo-Yes'm. Mrs. Witherby-
And what did she say? Bobbie-
She said l could if you offered them
} to me, and then she laughed Life.
FAME.-Affable stranger can't
! help thinking | have seen your pict-
ure somewhere in the newspapers.
! Hon Mr.. Greatman-Oh, no doubt,
no doubt. It's often been published,
! nger-Then was not mistaken.
: What were you cured of?-New York
!. Weekly.
MRS. HICHURCH (as she gazes out Of
the window on rainy Sunday morn
| ing)-"Yes; it's true Providence
iioes temper the wind to the shorn
lamb" Mr.. Hichurch-eWhat makes
: YOU say SOP" Mrs. Hichurch-"Why
my new bonnet didn't come home
last night!"-Puck.