The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1893-02-12
HOW TO HAVE FUN.
Latent Sport Aroused by
Ingenuity.
SOME VALUABLE SUGGESTIONS
If You Are Young and Ragged Vast
Realms of Enjoyment Are
Within Your Reach.

Hulloa, everybody. did you ever have any
fun asks writer in the New York Her.
aid. Now. don't all speak at once. Per-
haps you don't know as much about fun as
you think you do. 1t may be that you have
been so restricted by your environments
that you have never seen or had the real,
crude article. and perhaps it will be new
suggestion to you when | tell you that fun
Is one of the many good things which de-
precates and is apt to lose lis germ by being
super-refned
There is no end of fun in this world. The
city Of New York is fairly effervescent with
it. 1t turks unseen IN every alleyway,
waiting to tickle you between the ribs and
send you off into commissions. The most
sedate and sterile streets abound in latent
fun if you only possess a sufficient sense of
humor to find it out and overcome its iner-
tia.
There are a few essen tialS, however. which
1t is absolutely necessary that you should
possess before you can explore the ultimate
recesses where fun seeks seelus.on.
You must be s years old. You must be
poor. You must be ragged. You must live
in the vicinage of Mulberry. Bayard and
Baxter streets Of course you can have
some fun if you are years old--or 9. But
[ should advice yon to be as near as posi-
Is broad, unabridged and pure. You must
be poor, in order that you may appreciate
fun in its crude state; ragged, because that
gives you immunity from injuriDg your
clothes-an abandon, so to speak. You
must live in Poverty Flat" because there
you will have the greatest scope and the
most fertile field in which TO display your
ingenuity. Being thus armed and equip ed,
by both nature and fortune, you will go
forth in quest of fun.
What Is fun? The answer may be summed
up in one word, "Aggravation." Perhaps
you won't find the word given as a synonym
in the dictionary; but that is simply be-
cause Noah Webster didn't have his fun in
that way. There is. TO be sure, time hon
ored but most delusive aDh0risin TO the eff
feet that ITO be good is to be happy" You
and | will readily discard such sophstry
We would remark that ito be aggrayating
is to be happy" For example,:
The barber. Nj. Raven. has a nice clean
window pane. He washes it every morn
Ing in order that the passersby may look in
and see how coy and inviting his establish
nent Is, and how his customers stretch out
at their ease in his comfortable chair. This
is splendid chance for fun. You go along
and breathe on his window pane. BY pressing
your face against the pane till your nose is
fiat and breathing quick and hard you can
manage TO steam quite large surface In
a short time. Then, when the barber shakes
leaving his customer. half lathered, to run
after you, You can indulge in species OF
five finger exercises which is very irritating.
That is. you elevate your hand to the level
of your nose, extend your thumb until il
touches the tip of that organ and wiggle
waggle your fingers. This has been called
CONDENSED irony" and will surely cause
the barber great annoyance, while at the
same time, at your susceptible age, render
ing you lots of pure. unauthorized fun. II
you wish to further indulge your sense OF
humor at the expense of the barber you
can write your name with flourish on the
pane where you have steamed it,
You are ragged, and the natural imprints
which your feet leave in the newly fallen
snow show that You are barefooted. Very
good. Cant boy laugh with his boots of,
1 would like to know? Did ever man ao-
sorb any humorous propensties from his
shoes and stockings? You and l have
heard Of those people who can't tell a joke
from side OF sole leather, and they are the
misanthropes who look upon a barefootec
childhood rs one lacking In fun and devoid
OF happiness.
Another source Of fun is this: You get an