Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-05-13
PTTH AND POINT.

Fire P, ,of-The smoking ruins. -
Truth.
An active sphere-A rubber ball
Truth.
A marriage license kissing the
bride. Truth.
The real estate man knows lots that
he wont give away.-Life.
To see stars is sometimes synony-
nous with rapt vision. Lowell Cour-
Ter.
The man who can clip his coupons
generally cuts quite a figure. -Roch-
ester Democrat.
That air is very familiar, said the
musician, as a gust of wind took his
hat away.-Lampoon.
If YOU doubt that the world moves
ask some driver of a furniture ven
about it. Troy Press.
The milliner would soon he swamped
il she didn't know how to trim her
sales. Elmira Gazette.
1t never pays man to act the fool.
There are too many people who do the
act naturally. Cleveland Plain Dealer
I'm onto your game, as the fly
remarked when it settled on the
checkerboard. Philadelphia Record.
Every poor poet knows that writer's
cramp is never go hard to cure as when
it's in the stomachl A-Somerville Jour
nal
During thunderstorm always put
your milk in small refrigerator, SO
that it will have no room to turn
Life.
The woman who paints her cheeks
and the man who dyes his whiskers
never fool but one person. Ram
Horn.
1t seems funny that young fellow
should be livelier when there are no
bounds to his conduct. -Binghamton
Leader
Jagson SAWS some men are so severe
and crossgrained that they cant bear
to see even fountain play. Elmira
Gazette.
''Now," said the Board of Trade
member who likes formality, eve will
proceed to the disorder of business.
Washington Star.
He displayed on his breast a label
worded rs follows; ''Do not be
ashamed of giving me only half
penny-I am blind lie Grelot.
Cora-"Was it a love match?"
Merritt-"W as her money paid his
debts and kept him ont of Jail l should
say it was rather safety match. -
Judge.
A man should not imagine because a
girl of sixteen laughs at his jokes that
he is great wit; a girl of sixteen
laughs because she is sixteen. -Atchi-
son Globe.
Doctor-''Mr. De Slimdood is suf-
fering with brain fatigue or mental
exhaustion Mrs. Heartless-' All,
has he been trying so hard to Think
Detroit Free Press.
Mamma reviewing Ethels compost
tom why, child, this is no way to
spell 'rhinoceros. Ethel-'But if
it does not spell it how did you know
what it wasp indianapolis Journal.
"The curiew tolls the knell OF parting day,
The lowing herd winds slowly DER the
lea
The FISH man homeward plods his lazy way
To tell his whopping lies TO you and me.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Automatically j don't like is
that we have to work ten hours and eat
only half an hour" Employer-"The
difference is not SO great as it seems.
If you ate as slowly as you work you
would need ten hours for that, too"
The three little Sikeloans are sent to
pass month in the country with their
grandmother and escape the peril of
smallpox. After visit of three days
grandmother tele8raphs the boys
father, Lets swop Send the disease
and I'll send the children. Judge
Tailor meeting friend on the
street)-'1 thought You said you'd
mail me that five-dollar bill that you
owe me?' Creditor-''I did mean to,
but when went to the postoffice to
mail it / found this placard ON the
walls: Post no bills. '"-Des Moines
Argonaut.
Took the Wind out of His Sails:
Wages ito young matron with the per-
ambulatorl morning, Mrs.
FuDbloom Are you taking the son
out for an airing, or the heir out for
sunning?" Mrs. Fullbloom-'' Neither.
Mr.. Wages. Baby is girl. Lilies
Calendar
''Give an instance of the crime called
manslaughter, said the teacher. None
of the pupils ventured a response. "If
] should point pistol carelessly or in
sport at fellow-being and it should
go off and kill him, suggested the
teacher, lit would be-what 2"
Didn't know it was loaded ~ an
swered the class with one voice. Chi
cage Tribune.