The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-08-16

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does not care tolisten to-.
= The most quarrelsome creature
in the world is the scorpion. Two
placed in the same box will always
sting each other to death.
He-"I drank some champagne,
you know, and after awhile it went to
my head.' She-StThat was the only
empty placelleft, ] suppose. /"
The work performed by the hn-
man heart each "a hours is equal
to the lifting Of 129 tons to height
Of one foot in the same length Of time.
= A man never looks SO helpless
and insignificant as when stand;a
around a dry goods store "A
for his wife to get through tra
= Tobacco culture has been1
hibited in Egypt by decrS
the Khedive. Those found
tivating the weed are fined 81 600 pt
acre.
The most expensive fur is the
skin of the black fox of Kamschatka.
The animals are scarce and hard to
kill, and single skin sells for about
$1,000.
= In the town of Flint, Mich. a
man and his wife are candidates for
school trustees on opposing tickets;
the man is a Republican and his wife
Democrat
= She-We women are not asking
any advantages. All we ask is to
be treated as men. He-Certainly.
I'm willing to treat right now. Come
in and have cigar.
Mr.. Gilley-.Will you share my
lot, Miss Gildersleye Miss Gill
dersleeve-''B Build $40, 900 house on
it and then ask me again.
Wife-"Wake up, there are
thieves in the house." Husband
"Go down and show them your new
bonnet, and they won't waste any
time looking for money here. 2
= Bloomfield: Which is the most
forgiying of all the products Of nature?
Bellefeld: I don't tknow. Which is it :?
"Wheat." explain please" )" cit
feeds the man who threshes it. "
= Rustus: Wha' fob yo' wear sich
a necktie as dat, niggah? Doan yo'
know red and green am an inhommp-
NOUS combination =? Jake: Am dat
so J? Den how bout er watermilyon ?
"Do your neighbors keep chickz
ems ?" asked the visitor. "No," rea
piled the disconsolate man who owns
a garden "they just feed 'em and
keep the eggs. We keep 'em most of
the time.
Mrs. Nagge-Why were you so
sure you would receive an answer to
that telegram you sent me yesterday2
Mr.. Nagge-Because, my dear, | knew
you would have the last word if it cost
you quarter.
- Young Wife: Yes, father always
gives away expensive things when he
makes presents. Husband So ] dis.4
covered when he gave you away. Afce
then he went to the library to. draw
check for the monthly millinery bill.
The musical department Of the
Worlds Fair costs eighteen hundred,
dollars day. Theodore Thomas con-
certs come high. They have already
cost the Fair Association $500, 900.
This may be said to be high grade mu-
sic.
Be sure and put box Of Ayers
Pills in your satchel before travelling,
either by land or sea. You will find
them convenienc, efficacious and safe.
The best remedy for costiveness, in
digestion and sick headache, and adap--
ted to any climate.
= He-And so your answers final.
You will not be mine? She-Yes,
absolutely. But pray don't 60 and
blow your brains out. He-It would
be an idle attempt. People say if [
had any brains I never should have
proposed 70 you.
Ayers Ague Cure is an antidote
for malaria and all malarial diseases,
whether generated by swamp or sewer.
Neither quinine, arsenic, nor any 9th
er injurious drug enters into the COM
position Of this remedy. Warranted
to cure fever and ague.
"A gentleman having noticed that
his wife, instead Of wearing herswsd-
ding-ring on her finger, kept it con-
cealed in her purse, took her to- task
about it. The lady replied "What
would you have That is it's proper
place you didn't marry me, but my
purse.
= Edison prefers women machin-
lists for the details of his electrical in
ventions. He says they have more
fine sense about machinery in one min.
ute than most men have in their whole
lifetime: He proves the truth of his
assertion by placing 200women on his
pay roll.
- The Sunday law is said to be very
strict in Pennsylvania. It is reported
that an Italian living in Jamestown
attempted to remove his trunk and va
lise from one boarding house to an
other on Sunday, and was arrested and
fined four dollars for desecration Of tbI
Sabbath. ~
Governor Tillman tests the;
drunk producing qualities of patent
medicines, by having the convicts take
them in large quantities. The plan is
certainly a novel one and rcverses the,
old Newberry plan. Before, the war;
just as Drake's Plantation Bitters
came to the front as the great anti
chill medicine, a planter in Newberry
county, whose slaves were troubled
with chills, was induced to buy. case
of the bitters. He said he would go
home and try it on stthe boys" mean,
ing his sons, and if it did not hurt
them he would then give it to themes
T.. 4 i