The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-12-14

ORATORS OF tONGRES5-
A laughable story was told by the
Hon ". j. Talbert Of South Carolina,
says the Washington correspondent OF
the Baltimore News He said he had
listened with great deal of earnest
ness to speeches on both sides of the
question. He had listened so serious
ly and patiently that sometimes he had
been in the position of the little boy
whose mother, in making his first pair
Of trousers, put the front IN the rear.
The little boy started for school the
next morning and walked cheerfully
along until he looked down and dis
covered the situation, when he burst
out crying and whimpered: Il don't
like these pants; [ don't know whether
I'm going to school or going back
home"
The South Carolina's statement was
received with great laughter.
Not long after, in referring to the
desperate effort Of the bankers to
choke off the silver men. Mr.. Tai
/ bert said that charity forbade that he
should say that congress was intiuen-
ced by their action. Every man, how
ever, could think if he did not speak.
To illustrate his idea he said that
down III South Carolina there was a
man who hired a lawyer once to conduct
1 a case in court As the lawyer wasn't
talking exactly to suit him, he got up
/ to make few remarks himself The
judge,of course, made him take his seat.
lie got up again and the Judge made
him take his seat again. \ third and
fourth time this happened, and final
/. ~ the old farmer got up and said:
We'll, Judge, if you won't let me talk,
won't you let me Think"
why, certainly" replied the Judge.
We'll. Judge" he said, Il think you
and all these lawyers are a great set
Of rascals."
In referring to the allegations that
the Sherman act had caused bedevil-
ment in the country, Mr.. Talbert said
that the passage OF that act reminded
him Of something that happened III
North Carolina Just after the war Gen.
Fitzpatrick came through the town go
ing home. An old Union man named
Roark, who had a very fine horse,
went out to meet the general He rode
up to him and thought kilpatrick
Bnew him.
Good morning, general" he SAID
Fitzpatrick returned the SALVATION rath
er gracefully. Then turning to one
of his men. who was riding a very pool
horse, he said: Get off that horse .
Addressing Roark. he continued: "Get
down off your horse" Roark did as
he was told and then Fitzpatrick said
Change your saddles" Turning tC
Roark again, he said: You get Oh
the poor horse" Roark did as he was
commanded. and Fitzpatrick started
off Turning toward him, Roark said
Can | speak to yOu?' Yes" replied
the general, talk quick; [ must b,
going.
Well" said Roark, 4 Just want tc
say to you that have been swapping
horses forty years, but this is the first
! time that | ever traded without | haC
any say III it."
50 it was with the people. They
had to swap their money for gold, anC
they had no say at all because of the
Legislation which was forced upOI
, them.
In referring to Mr.. Barter's speech
Mr.. Talbert said thatit reminded hin
of the man who was inquiring of ;
little boy standing on the road the way
to certain house. The little fellow
replied: well, you go this way bal
, mile to another road; then take tina
road and go about quarter of mil
and you will find a blind path whicl
: viii lead you to a swamp. and then %
up into the middle of the swamp un
| til YOU find a tremendous big tree
then go up into the fork of that tree
and then if YOU amt lost | am do
I rotted if | amt a Dutchman."
That" continued Mr.. Talbert Il
about like the talk of my friend from
:, Ohio. | tried to follow him, but h
: first took me into a swamp, then int
a fork of tree, and finally | was com
pletely lost"
Mr., Talbert III his speech said tha
he had never written a speech, a
he did not like to be bothered wit
notes. He undertook to make on
with notes once and got them a
stirred mp together and made con
plete failure. 1t reminded him {
what had happened to the old preacl
er down South, who told the boys wh5
portion of the Scripture he intende
Il to read for the morning lesson. Ih
n boys. finding the place, glued tw
ID pages together The next mornin
r. the old preacher began to read at Il
10 bottom Of one page:
And Noah, when he was one hui
dred years old. took to himself wifi
who was
L Then, turning over the leaf:
I 4 hundred and thirty cubits lor
and forty cubits wide. and made e
tirely Of gopher wood, and pitcht
within and without
This puzzled the good old preache
"A He took off his spectacles, rubb,
% them, and verified the verse.
M WELL" he said, after drawing a loI
es breath, "brethren | had net seen it
W this here book before But | know
- is true or it would not have been hel
Ii is an evidence Of the assertion
} another portion of the holy Bible th
% man Is fearfully and wonderful
made.
'.' 1t was an old story, but one til
threw the house into convulsiOns.
On the next day jerry S1mps
used a story to illustrate point in
silver speech. He said he had be
. disappointed at the poverty OF the c;
"a Of the opposition. 1t reminded h
!. of the story of the gentleman W
81 built a steamboat on the Misso
II river. 1t was at a time when tn,
N was great rivalry to see which COZ
I'll have the louder whistle. The n
VI built steamboat with a seven-f
& boiler and put on nine-foot whist
When he blew the whistle the f