The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-01-18
KANSANS WILL KICK

victor Murdock In Inter-Ocean.
''Wait a minute till get glass of
water so that | will be able to lick this
new Columbian stamp and will talk to
you"
1t was Colonel Solomon Bugg, of Kan
sas, speaking. He turned up after q
long absence yesterday at the Palmer
house, with bright acrobatic smile and
a new aurora boreaIis necktie.
"MiSsed me, ell? Been out in Kansas
watching the Populists and Republicans
wallup one another over the greensward.
They have a situation out there. They
always have. Why? Because it is the
air.
Dear old Kansas! There is no state
like her. In all this broad, free, and
untrammeled land there is no domain
that will blunder along liSht-heartedly
and mistake auctioneers for statesmen
ike Kansas There IS no people that has
so little respect for the past and wOrships
a hero so blindiy for little time.
''NOu know Matthew Arnold once said
that a thrill Of ave- which great men
are supposed to inspire when lesser men
come INTO their presence, was good
thing for nations. You won't find any
of that IN Kansas. Why, the average
Kansas farmer. with blue clay in his
whiskers and al odor of the dead past
on his clothes, would walk into the pres
ence of the prince of Wales, lean his wet
umbrella up against the throne and in
sist on shaking hands, with the same
sang froid that he would slop the hogs.
SANG FRoID N THE sUNFLowER STATE.
"Tae average Kansan is a sangfroidist
from Sangfroidville. Nothing delights
the Kansas heart so much as to chase 4
little sang froid up cottonwood tree
and smash it between two shingles.
There's where the trouble was with
Ingalls,. He got to mixing too much
sang froid in his politics. For, while the
Jayhawker swears his own existence
with sang froid. re won't stand il in
anybody else. Personally, the Kansan
would not tremble before the biggest
potentate on earth. | have frequently
heard Duukiu of PuDkin, a state celeb
rlty, say that he cared no more for
king than he did for a seven spot.
Another strange thing is that Kansas
Is always bowling against denagOgv,
and no state in the union is a greater
sufferer from il. l know a young Re-
publican in western Kansas who wanted
TO go to the state senate. He lived in a
purely agricultural district, but un
luckily did not know the difference be-
tween harvester and hay-rick. But
this did not deter him.
Look, here, lie said, 'if Jerry Simp-
son can sneak into congress with his
impromptu grammar and damaged syn
tax, guess l can make my way to the
state senate, So here goes.
He worked tlrelesslv for three weeks.
BE visited every Republican farmer in
the district, and succeeded in making
friends enough to secure him the nomi-
ration beyond doubt. The day of the
convention came. Every aspirant was
allowed five minutes to talk IN his own
behalf. just before our friend arose.
red-headed aspirant for the s,,me place,
with parentheticsl legs got up and said:
SPEAKING OF AGRIcULTURE.
4" Gentleman. warn you. The man
whom YOU are about 10 nominate is a
fraud, who don't know enough to squirt
powder at a potato bug. i warn YOU
The blood burned in the young mans
veins. lie arose to defend himself. he
did 1t by h2ttering the farmers and
mer tionIug them by name.
i have been all over this district he
said, and l speak with pride Of your
thriftineSs. l have been at Farmer
Erisgs', and / speak the ruth when |
say that outside Of Coyote county there
is no such herd OF Poland China heifers
in the world.
"A ripple Of surprise rang through the
audience.
Lock at Farmer Jones Polled An
gus sheep! he cried, uudaunted. Look
at Smiths Berkshire chickens. Look at
Dobbins Plymouth Rock pigs
At this point Dobbins arose. hurriedlv
left the hall, and was heard falling
down three flights of stairs.
The young man knew something was
wrong. The audience was getting rest
less. They were ali in favor Of him be-
fore-bu5 this talk Was he a fraud:
Il point with pride ne cried. gran
diloquenny, 10 the Early Rose apples
that Farmer Tottles raised this year.
Farmer To.tles arose hurriediy and