The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-04-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Dust -proof-A bank-book.
In at the death-The heirs.
A dog star-The prize setter.
Tough characters - Hieroglyphics.
Puck.
The crinoline is coming with a hoop
and a hurrah. Washington Star.
"No, Maud, dear, Joan of Arc was
not Noah's wife. philadelphia Record.
The greatest part of self-willed mans
estate usually goes to the lawyers. rs.-Troy
Press.
The newspaper man is the great
writer of the peoples ougs.-Galves-
ton News.
The pen enables a young man to give
his girl an inkling of his sentiments
Texas Siftiugs.
There is some hope that the fashion
magnates will stave of the hoop-skirts.
Lowell Courier.
To one travelling through the country
milestones are pretty good signs of pro-
gress.-Troy Press.
When you see boy unable to behave
| 1lulSell you SuOull ltuu nanus
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Every dog has his day, but the nights
belong to the cats and the clubmen.--
Kate Fields Washington.
"Gee, that was cold snap" as the
bulldog remarked after biting the Bos.
ton girl.-Philadelphis Record.
An Ohio physician proposes to abatc
kissing, but the average young man pro-
poses with view to keeping it up.
''It is pretty hard to be showed to the
wall this way" plaintively remarked the
bill to the bill poster.-Washington
Star.
The mother who starts to get sleepy
boy out of bed these mornings may he
said to have rousing time Of it.-Phila-
delphia Times.
Citticus-'I wonder how it is that so
few women stutter when they talk"
Witticus-"They haven't got time."--
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. New Lee Wed-"You are fail
ure, John. You've never had any luck"
Mr.. New Lee Wed--"Yes, once; was
born single. Brooklyn Lie.
"You needn't assume that am holier
than thou air." growled the Rochefort
to the Schweitzer; Everybody knows
you are not up to my tone. Puck.
"Why did Columbus forgive the mu-
tineers2" asked the teacher. " Cause
they was half seas over when they
Kicked" said Johnnie. Life.
| Upr, a tIooab ~ said the urchiu
With most expressive wall;
sand | sse by fathers manner,
Pm about 70 meet whale"
Washington Star.
81 think" murmured the handcuffed
convict, ''that must be a poor tinan-
oier, for | have more bonds on hand
than can manage. ."-Baltimore Amer
ican.
The two most exciting periods in
woman's life are when she is listening to
her first proposal and bidding On bas-
ket of broken crockery at an auction. -
Siftings.
"Were you IN perfect health when you
were struck 10y the street cart" asked
the lawyer. "No, sir" said the plain
tiff, ~ was good deal run down.
DOsLOn SOlll4SlNAAA DAlibNAhs
Mrs. Goodkind-"Therc's only one
trouble about poor Mr.. Careless. He's
generous to a faultw Mr.. Gruff--
"Humphl It's pity that he isn't gen
erous to his family. Black and White.
In '97' Mistress TO her maid Of all
work)-"Mlss Mulloney, the fire is get
ting low; will you be kind enough to go
to my room and bring me three pieces
of coal from my jewel case. ."-Elmira
Gazette.
Making the Bes. of 1t "Good morn
ing, Uncle Charles. Did you sleep welll
I'm afraid Jour bed was rather hard aud
uneven; but" "Oh, it was all right,
thanks. got up now aud then during
the night and rested bit, you know"
Punch.
"Could you give me something to cat,
ma'aml" humbly asked the tramp in the
suburbs of Boston of the stern yisaged
woman who opened the kitchen door.
ayes" said the stern visaged woman,
as she energetically closed the door in
his face aud locked it with jerk. al
could. ."-Somervlle Journal.
One of the richest specimens of neat
Irish bull was perpetrated by the clever
aud witty but blundering Irish knight,
Sir Richard Steele, when inviting an
English noblemar TO visit him. "lf,
sir, " said he, 'you ever come within
mile of my house, hope you will stop
there. Insurance Economist.