Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-11-30


thought he, think only OF the pleas
ure OF the moment" for though he was
yet young he observed that the plump,
self-indulgent among his kind were
earliest invited to ride in the market
"death-cart," or pitilessly dispatched
upon the farmers own private guillo-
tine. He grew old and waxed wise,
He could have challenged the calendar
in knowledge Of Xmas and Thanks
giving days. Choice might have made
him a sybarite, necessity made him
philosopher, and he learned to be
thankful in grim, hungry sort Of way
for the infrmity that kept him out Of
danger. A great pity filed his soul.
Was it not his duty, nay his highest
privilege, to teach his fellow turkeys
this doctrine of abstinence unfolded to
him by his affection? He was modest
turkey, sensitive to degree, but con-
scientious. He was not bird to shirk
duty, so lifting up his voice he gobbled
unto all that feathered throng. He
gobbled from his heart. What stories
he told of countless bloody deeds!
There was not dry eye in the audi
ence. He told of the near approach of
Thanksgiving Day. All We're Impress
ed, attentive, subdued. They had
just demolished q huge dish of corn.
There was, for time, profound silence
over all the barnyard.
But the doctrine of abstinence is
never popular one, and long before the
farmers wife again threw out the food
q frisky young turkey strutted over to
the pump and publicly invited the
philosopher to hear his side of the
Story. A great tapping Of wings
greeted his audacity, for cheek" is a
talent even in turkeydom. Clouds of
dust announced that the meeting was
to be crowded one. Big chicks, little
chicks, geese, ganders, even goslings
elbowed pardon, winged with the
turkeys to hear what this young fell
low could say on this, the burning
question of the hour. With so many
quilts present 1t Is monstrous that there
should be no verbatim report of the
mastery Grafton. 1t was a strong
rendering of the well-beloved old text,
"eat, drink and be merry" The speak
or gave a graphic description Of the
happy lot OF his hearers, showing them
how rarely fortunate they were in that
their greatest pleasure was at the same
time their highest duty. He gobbled
with burning satire upon his learned
friend" who would have them live for
this life alone. He asked his audience
if it we're creditable that in this nine
teenth century a turkey so well posted
as his esteemed adversary" had not
heard OF the doctrine of evolution.
Here he painted in scholarly language
the slow transition from turkeydom to
humanity by the Darwinian route.
His audience was depressed-it
seemed such hopeless waiting that
long, slow, infnitesimal changing.
Then, in that moment Of inner an
guish, he burst upon them this climax:
And yours, yours, my winged breth-
rem, Is the power to leap across this
multitude OF intermediate stages, this
frightful chasm of time, to become in
a few brief hours a part Of man, liv-
ing factor in the MODEST work Of ma
ture. You have only to be young and
plump and tender to be with one blow,
and little dressing, translated to the
realms of your highest dreams. Such
cackling! Such growing! Such quack-
ing Such gobblingl 1t woke the far
mer's man to q remembrance OF unful-
filed instructions and the orator tur-
key turned pale as he felt that firm,
relentless clutch upon his long red
neck. There were many deaths that
day, but the philosopher stood by the
pump unframed. He, Of course, saw
the fallacy OF his late friends reason
ing, but as deceased was no longer his
rival he called him a promising young
turkey" and was even tolerant of those
gobblers who shook their wicked old
heads and said "of truth the good
die young" The orator turkey was
buried on Thanksgiving day, in the
Smith family. No flowers. After-din-
ner speeches of rare order were de-
livered, however.