The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1893-09-03
A SOLDIER AND HIS PENSION.

/ tie back room OF the shabby lodging house. They
/ had called him an old man for ten years more.
/ though he was now but ffty-three. Many men
| born ten years earlier went brskly about the
| streets. full OF health and vigor. and no one
| thought OF them old. But these men had not
/ had their vitality Slapped in early life by four
| years OF army experience; they had not made
| long and weary marches through dust and heat.
/ or through wet and cold; they had not slept the
sleep OF exhaustion. lying on the rain-soaked
sod; they had not absorbed the malaria
OF Southern swamps: they had not toiled
| in trenches nor known the strain and stress
| OF battle; they had not starved in Southern
/ prison pens This man lying there in he'd had
| known all these things.
| He had answered his country's first call TO its
| loyal sons 10 come TO its defense. He was q col
| lege student then, in his junior year-eager,
bright, ambitious. and looking forward to n pro-
fessional career. Up TO that time he had thought
but little about his country; he hpd accepted its
benefits as a matter of course. But talk OF rebel
lion and the firing upon Sumter had lighted the
| fires OF patriotism in his soul. he was afiame
| with enthusiasm. and when opportunity came
| for him To give aid in rebnkIng rebel inso.ence
| he was ready. His personal ambitious could
wait. What were they, In any case. compared
with his country's needi So he had gone to the
|
| to four years. and he was soldier TO the end.
| Lying there in bed. the panorama OF these
| years passed before him, clearer. somehow. than
memories OF later times. The little college town
| in york State" where he lived. sent out full
| company of three months men," and he
one of the first to enroll his name. How proud
| he was when they donned their blue uniforms
| and marched through the streets! His heart
| thrilled now with the re-echoing through the
| years OF the fife and drum that led their steps.
| IL WAS an awkward squad, but people were lot
| critical then Tears were TOO close behind
| smiles for detractiOn or sarcasm To be thought
Of Not that he wept-oh. no! But tnere WAS
| the mother To be hiduen farewell AMI there was
| sweetheart. The women somehow, took the
going to war more seriously than the volunteers
| they foresaw the blood and desOlatiOn where the
| soldiers saw only glory. So the mother blessed
her son through broken sobs. and the sweet
| hearts eyes were wet when he went away.
Drums were beating, flags flying ana cheers Of
|, citizens rent the air as the boys marched ont
| OF the inland town to reach railway station
| twenty miles away; but the music and the
| cheers are less vivid in his mind now than the
mist that lay over the river. was there a mist
| then, and sadness could not last. Gayety came
| back, and they laughed and sang, waved hand
| kerchie1s at the wondering faces in farmhouse
windows and cheered every passing stranger.
| oh. that river road that morning in May! The
| fragrance OF the pine forest at its side comes
| back 10 him now, refreshing as an elixir OF
| YOUTH the breeze from across the river. sweet
| with the scent OF fresh earth and dewy grass
cools in his fancy the hot July air in his little
| room. -.
Other scenes crowd forward rapidly after
that Journey to the front. Then was the period
OF drill and discomfort, the ''breakng in
to discipline and the methods Of camp life
| The first taste OF came soon. He was in
| the battle Bull Run. and though time has
softened the humiliation of that day, he does not
care TO dwell upon it. He dozen reasons
| now why those raw, undiscplined troops should
| have joined in disorderly retreat without dis
| grace, but the anger and the shame were then so
keen that they linger yet. He was in the fight
at Balls Bluff, and his company distinguished
itself there. though the victory was not TO the
| Union side. Then there was period of waiting;
| OF forever being about to ''mOye on 10 Rich
| mond,' and OF never moving on; time OF dig
ging trenches. and of building breastwOrks for
defense against all enemy who did not attack.
| It time of doubt and dissatisfaction. of
suspicion or the loyalty or commanders. and OF
| fear that tho rebels would prevail-for the
lying here on his n ss thirty
ing patriotism. The love for country
and flag that lad been kindled in his peaceful
he had thought JoyOusly OF victories 10 win and
glory to gain; now, he was ready to fight and
die II need be. that the Union might be saved.
The nag that typiiied this sentiment had become
beautiful to INN, dear to him. Its smoke stained
coors. waved at the battle front. spired in him
new courage; when the tight was done lie rever-
emily kissed the tattered folds.
The years OF the war wore on and action took
the place of waiting. There were skrmishes.
fights, and great battles so many that memories
of them sometimes became confused. There
were Winchester, Fair Oaks, Cedar Mountain,
Antietam-bloody Observation-Disclosures
he had heen with his regiment in all Then
came Charlottesville. where he was made q
prisoner and sent 10 Andersonville. Lying
there thirty years after. with visions OF the old
days fitting through his mind, he turned resO-
lutely from The pictures OF that prison pen as
| one would Danish thoughts OF hell. The pictures
were there burned m but the horrors were even
| yet too vivid to bear tho light.
The dreadful months we mt by till at last re-
| lease came, and he went back. weak. starved.
| broken, but with pat riotism undimIned. More
months in the hospital building used up his wasted
| strength. and then back TO join his company. He
was back in time for the battle of the Wilder
ness. and OF all the battles III which he fought he
remembered this the best. He remembered the
| hand hand lighting in the dense forest: he
membered the awful pyramid of dead, when the
bodies had been heaped up to get them out OF
| the way; lie recalled the groans of the suffering
thousands who had crept into the dank swamps
| to die: he remembered the confederate ball that.
piercing his lungs. ut last laid him low. He can
| not well forget that. for IL is borne In his body
| still. and sometimes gives him painful reminder
of its presence. After that the memories are
6si and it is question NJ whether he
lives or dies. Bnt while he Is there
Sherman goes his march to the sea- the
news OF his triumph Is borne TO our soldiers dull
senses, aud he revives. 1t Is like q tonic, and
! turns the scale. He gets better, though not
strong and they want him 10 20 home but he
will not. Home can wait; he will join his regi-
ment again and the end, which must be
near. for Grant, the man who leads 10 victory.
has said so. Then comes AppomattoX. and
pRans OF rejoicing echoing through the North
| and throughout tho world where liberty is loved.
| After that the Grand Review. that most won
derful military parade OF history. where hun
| dred thousand battle-scarred veterans pass in
order before their generals and are dismissed TO
the pursuits OF peace.
After that, for him-whatl Homo! he went
home only to find that 1t not the same on
that day he had gone away SO proudly four
| years before. The mother dead, and the
| sweetheart-married. The uniform and the
winning ways OF a young cavalry officer who
had time for furloughs and wooing in war time,
had caught her tickle fancy. and she had forgot
ten her first love. Presently, too. tho returned
volunteer found that no place seemed open TO
| him In civil life. The men who had not gone 10
war and the boys who had become men since
III had taken possession OF the field. He n
! Young man yet but not young enough To re-
sumo his college life ami carry out bis
old-time plans Those early hopes and ambi-
| tons ended. Besides. somehow. the ell
| erqy to accomplish great things was no longer
| HE. He felt mature. old In truth, he old.
| Like most men who went to war ia '6l anu re-
manned on duty 10 the end he had sp mt the en-
| ergies and vitality of life time. Ii nervous
| force had been concentrated IN four ears All