The Dickinson press., 1893-06-10
A Drummcr's Experience.

One thing like about these knights of the
Road, is that they are great fellows for secret
societies. Most all the drummers belong to
everything that is going on, from the Grand
Knights of the Diamond Garter down to tho
Sons of lntemperance.
am quite q hand for all such mysterious
things myself, SO get solid with all the boys.
My old friend Crookston called on me t'otler
day to see if neGdHd any drugs WF and to have
settin' i'll the office chap came in and wanted
to borrow $? on account of a remittance not
coming to him as he expected. l told him my
the day before by Johnnie Mclntire, but |
never lent it except, to drummers. He said
of an Odd Fellow, which he tumblcd to. Then
Rythone af H. H. bef s ef Then Crock gave Mn
Then tipped him the hair-poking signal of a
Good Upper; He, He smiled and said III. g" This
Crook stuck out his hand and gave him the
He got thar on that. Then Crookston exam
,,;!%saa From Tie lodge Of the Holy St. Johns
What seek ye here to do7'
ITO take few orders and collect a bill of
Bilson."
"Then you are drummer"
81 am so taken and accepted by all the boys"
How may, know you to be a drummer7'
case. Try me-
'By the square,"
why by the squarc7'
Because the square is a magistrate and an
emblem of stupidity"
Where We're We're you first prepared7'
'Where next2"
in printing office, adjoining regular post
OF drummers.
''How were you preparcd?"
.By being divested of my last cent, my check
rubbed down with a brick a bunion plaster
aoh nv. aud ,1n IL
hand. In this fix was conducted to the dool
OF the post"
blind2'
by first stepping in coal scuttle, and after
wards humping my head against the door
knob. ;.
'low gained you admission7"
by benefit of my cheek
Had you the required cheek?"
II had not, but Steve Fears had it for me-
How were you received9'
'.On the sharp toe of boot, applied to IN!
natural trousers"
''What did this teach you7"
Not to fool around too much"
What happened nextY'
~ was set s down W on cake Of ice and asked
Not if know myself, don't"
"How was you next handledY'
trotted nine, times around the room by fou
worthy brothers and then brought in front O
the Left Bower for further Instructions"
How did he instruct your
regular steps, with my business card extended
at right angles, my arms forming perfec
square,"
How was you then disposed Off"
y was again seated on the cake of ice il
front Of the dry goods box and obliged to TAX
the following horrible and binding oath:
Charles s. Robinson do hereon and herein mos
Tsas Bop a p1a ush Slt by tn
and always steal all the trade secrets furthe
swear, :m by the Bald Headed Jack Of Clubs, tha
Will never give, carve. make, hold, take or Gu
rates.
swear, BY the piper that played before Moses, t
never have any commercial dealings with an
aunt or uncle, unless they, he, she or it is SCUM
ON the goose. binding myself under no les
to bottom. my dirty shirts and socks taken ou
and my reputation removed and buried in til
river at Pear street bridge, where the Salvatio
Army ebbs and flows over two and one-ha
hours, So help me Bob Ingerson and keep II
IN backbone
Il was then asked what most needed"
Mhat was your replyT'
What did YOU then behold?"
"A copy of Dun g. Co IS reports, opep
Muskegon. Upon the open book rested a pa
of drug scales, in one pan of which was conce
tra,ed lyyee and in the other sat a small silv
What did this emblem signifyY'
The scales indicated the balance betwee
debtor and SFGditor; The other embIems repr
Did this teach you any lesson7'
You bet! 1t taught me the fact that IL
,han the latter"
shake! Brother! Will you be c
or fromY'
Both if can get money enuff to get out
Have you any cigarsY'
II have"
Give 'em to me-
Il did not so receive 'em, neither will SO il
part EN-
How will You dispose of EN-.
On sixty days time or per cent off for cas-
Fob
''All right begin"
mo- you begin.'
up" EN-" "Set.'
Set 'em up The words and signs a.
right, Brother Snooks. He is q yard wide ar
all wool, and you can bet on him.-E1.