The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1893-03-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A fixed star-The wealthy actor.
No man can tell how much it would
sake to MAKE him rich.-Ram's Horn.
What tue college freshman doesn't
know he talks aoout.-Elmira Gazette.
A horse, strange to say, feeds best
when he hasn't bit in his mouth. -
Truth.
1t doesn't always follow that shaking
an acquaintance rattles him. .--Philadel-
phia Times.
A slay belle-One OF the King of Da-
homey's Amazonian warriors. New
York Journal.
1t does seem little odd that good
"trusty" grocer rarely succeeds. .-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Lecturer--'What is dearer to man
than his wife2' Bachelor-"Her jew
elry "-Jeweler' Weekly
When an old crank spoils the slide,
the small boy doesn't feel like saying
peace to his ashes.-.Puck.
What the solar system needs now is
good stringent law for the punishment
of vagrancy. cy.--Kansas City Star.
One of the hardest times to love an
enemy is when he seems to be prosper
ing like green bay trce.-Ram's Horn.
No charge to florists for this advice:
If you would have your plants start
early put them in spring beds.-Loweu
Courier.
How can become ready converse
tionalist?" "Persuade yourself that you
have chronic disease of soma kind. ~
Buffalo Express.
iN'You are beneath my notice" " as the
land owner remarked when he found the
,, tramp asleep under his sign "No tres
passing. .'-Comic Cuts.
FIRST Thief "Wnat do you do when
you can't pull the wool over jewelers.
eyes?" Second Thef-"Throw pepper
in 'em."-Jeweler' Weekly.
Tommy-"Say, paw2" Mr.. Figg-
'sWell2' "When a hole in the ground
is filed up with dirt what becomes OF
the e?'-Indianap Journal.
Martin-"How well Miss Greenbough
keeps her agel' Mrs. Grinder-"Why,
of course; nothing would induce her to
give it way.'--Chicago Inter Ocean.
Reggie-''Van Harding has been ex-
PEELED from the club" Ferdie-
"Why" Reggie--"He was getting too
beastly bwainy. New York Herald.
o.. take the telephone away,
Its trials greater grow,
For all you hear and all you say
Is that one word ''Hellow
Washington Star.
Judge-''Have you anything TO say
before pass sentence on you?" Prisoner
-"No, [ ANT got any time ter waste
talkin' ere. | want ter go"-Pick Me-
Up.
4 man who is rough and awkward at
everything else will show delicacy and
skill greater than any woman's when he
has to patcl torn ten-dollar bill.--
Atchison Globe.
The Brilliant Spirit of Repartee:
She-'It IS reported around town that
we are engaged" He--"l have heard
worse things than that" She--'I never
have. lilies Calendar.
Mss Ann Gulaw-"I wish you would
tell me how you manage to keep your
dresses in suca pretty shape" Miss
Pump petle--"S Simply by wearing them,
dear. indianapolis Journal.
Watts-"Did you ever eat any pos
sum-" Grosan-"Oi niver did an l
niver will. Oi how no use for baste
tnat wud dhrop the from the name OF
nim as the possun has. indianapolis
journal.
Mrs. Migg's children look so neg
Iected, poor things; is she away9" "No;
she is spending her time writing those
beautiful articles, How to Make Home
Attractive for tae Children. Chicago
interOcean.
Tuif Muggs-''So you got clear O.
that larceny charge, Ell? Must "a had a
purity smart lawyer" Birryl Howes--
Nav. He was regular cnump. Only
charged $25 Tor clearin' me."- Indian
apoIs Journal.
"Ullo" said the messenger boy.
''Ain'r you workin' no more, kidW
Nav said the ex-ofi :eboy, ''l amt.
Pm on a strike. Der walkin delight
came around an said we wuz to git
double price fer iclin' desc new stamps,
or so out. Ap' went out. Indian
apolis Journal
Little Flory-"W Woad you mind let
ting me put your ring in the bath tub
few miuutesl" Mr.. Pridee---''What
forl' Little Flory--' Sister Mad9 said
las week she knew you'd put your ring
in soak to get the flowers you sent her,
and ! wanted 10 try il aud see ii could