The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-03-22
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

all SOA 10 Va L al dpd6s
- The man who picks his own cross
never gets the right one.
If the tongue could kill, not many
would live to old age.
- The first workman who made pens
got 81 apiece for them.
"A human skull as large as bushel
basket has been found in Sicily.
The manufacture Of bogus Confed-f
crate money is an established industry in
Van Buren, Missouri.
Sixty. four of the United States
Senators are lawyers, one a preacher, one
doctor and one a journalist.
= Customer-Why do you refer to this
folding bed as "ahe ?" Clerk Because,
sir, there is no danger of it's shutting up:
DO not be hoodwinked. Use no
"just as goed." Salvation Oil is what
You want when in need of a good lini.s
ment.
-, Mrs. Ellsworth Miller of Cold
Springs, N. Y, is 81 years old and the
mother of 16 children, including three
sets Of triplets.
The Atlanta Herald makes this sug1
gestion: "Look in the bottom of your
wine cup, young man. You may see
pair of bsndcuffs there"
1t is little discoursging to man
to carry yowling, squalling baby around
for half a night, then sit down and reflect
that "of such is the kingdom of heaven
"A Mississippi man is suing his wife
for divorce on the ground that she
makes him do the cooking. There is no !
knowing what might happen if he tried
to make her do tbs cooking.
= 1t Is one of the hardest tasks in the
world, to bring the heart to asincere
persuasion that sin is indeed as vile as
Gods word represents it; and that it
deserves all that his law threatens against
it.
old Gravely: Ifyou do not care To
be my wife, perhaps the prospect Of
being rich young widow might tempt
you ? Minnie eagerly: Oh, Mr.. Grave.
ly! III we're only sure could trust
you'll
-"T "There is but one way of fortifyi' g
against all gloomy presages and terrurs
of mind, and that is by securing to our
selves the friendship and protection If
that being who disposes of events and
governs fnturity."
-"You don't seem to be one of the
people who think the Office should seek
the man." eyes," replied the politician,
a little doubtfully, ~ am, but I believe
it's the mans business to keep in hailiDg
distance"
-Green-"There was time when
thought I knew everything" Brown
Eyes. And you think differently now {"
CT do." B.-"What made you
change your opinion ?" G.-"Well, the
fact is I am courting widow"
- The trouble with most cough medi-s
cinee is that they spoil the appetite,
weaken digestion, and create bile. Ayers
Cherry Pectoral. on the contrary, while
it gives immediate relief, assists rather
than impairs the assimilative process.
"Say, didn't you say when you sold
me that dog that he was bird dog"
"Yes, that's what I said" "Well you
swindled me. That dog won't hunt"
"I didn't say he would hunt. Hes
bird dog. Cock the birds for him.
That's the way he likes them best"
Uncle Sam is rich and generous,
but s1SO,OOO,O 900 this year for pensions
will maize a pretty big hole in his
pocket. And what of next year and
many years to come? Latest reports on
the rolls show 92O,sS5 pensioners and
776,6S7 claiments not yet recognized
Cincinnati; Commercial.
Ayers Cherry Pectorsl possesses
powerful healing qualities, which mani
fest themselves whe never this remedy is
employed in colds, coughs, throat or lung
troubles. It's anodyne and expectorant
effects are promptly realized. 1t is a
chemical success and medical triumph.
An Irishman once worked all day
on the promise of getting gil ss of grog.
At night the employer broughs out the
grog to him, and the Trishman tasted it
and said, (Which did you put in first
the whisky or the water ?" "Oh," said the
employer, "the whiskey." "Um-hum,"
mused the 1rishmsn; well, maybe I'll
come to it by-and BY"
"A man and his wife went into the
dentists. "How much do you charge,
for film teeth 2" asked the farmer.
"From two to FIVE dollars" can how
much for pullin'7" "Fifty cents"
"Mariar," he said, turning to his wife,
you'd better git it pulled"
"A lady who enjoys the unique dis
tinction of being the only woman presi-
dent of national bank in the United
States is Mrs. Annie Moore, of Mount
Pleasant, Texas, who probably is tie
youngest bank president in the country.
This bank has operated for some time aa'
private concern with Mrs. Moore at the
head, and so capable had she proved her.
self that the vote to keep her in command
vas unanimous.
= Gen. W. II. Jackson, proprietor Of
the famous Belle Mead stock farm, says
that, though the $500 acre domain seems
perfect to visitors, he himselfis far from
thinking so, and spends from $50, 900 to
$4,000 on it every year. 1t has been in
the family for century. There are
twenty-five miles of stone fences, which
cost 81 per yard to construct There is
a park of 500 acres, filled with squirrels,
partridges and 300 deer.