Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1893-01-18
ON TEE ROAD TO WEALTH.

Not long ago, JImson went homo nj
worked up with excitement. He lad
been reading an advertisement of 6
patent incubator, and, after figuring
on the thing, and finding that all he
had to do in order to become wealthy
was to build one and 60 to work hatch-
ing out chickens for market, he decided
to do this
He Immediately informed Mrs. Jim
son Of his intention, but, being of a
practical turn, and endowed with con-
siderable good hard sense, she failed
to see the glinting, glimmering CLEAN
of gold in the scheme, and did not
enthuse to any great extent, or go into
conniption fits.
Jimson was ssnguine, however, and
not TO be discouraged nor turned from
his purpose.
al tell you, Mrs. Jlmson, we'll wear
diamonds" he declared. Don't be-
heve 1t Ell? Well, then, listen; l buy
six hundred eggs; cost ten dollars
The incubator matches five hundred Of
tie eggs; we keep the chickens till they
are of marketable age and size, and
sell them at twenty-five cents piece
that's one hundred and twenty five
dollars. Ten dollars from one hundred
and twenty-five leaves one hundred aud
fifteen dollars clear profit. Just think
of it'll Wen be- rich, Mrs. Jimson; do
you hesr?"
Mrs. Jimson heard, and Jimson was
enthusiastic, and so sure he was on the
high road to wealth, that she could not
help believing.
'Bat how are you going to make this
this incubator?" she wanted TO know.
JimsOn was right at home here. He
had everything already figured out
has plans all matured.
"Hou know that oil bed up in the
northeast bed room, where | slept all
last summer?" he asked.
Mrs. jim son remarked that, owing
TO the fact that she had made that PAR
ticular bed up, after it Lad been slept
in by JlmsOu, some hundreds of times,
she was not likely to forget it.
"Well," declared JImson, "I shall
convert that bed into an incubator"
And he did. He put kind of wire
mattress on the bedstead, and then put
a small stove under TINS Some hollow
iron pipes were run leugthwise of the
bedstead TO equalize the heat, and the
incubator was ready.
Jimson bought all the eggs IN town,
and went to work to set the incubator
up in business.
Some old bel-cloth es were thrown
over the wire mattress, and upon these
was placed "A layer of eggs Another
lot Of bedclOthes and a second LAYER
we're placed above the first, and so on,
till the stock of eggs were exhausted.
JimsOn was so tickled over the sue
cess of his scheme thus far, that he
stayed out late that night celebrating.
succeeding in acquiring a two-ton
Jag.
Along about three O'Clock in the
morning, JImson said, ''G'iu'l" to the
boys, and meaudered off home. He
had hard work unlocking the door,
but finally did so, and succeeded in
getting up stairs without waking his
wife.
She had sat mp till midnight waiting
for Jimson, but had finally gone to
bed and to sleep.
At the head of the stairs, Jimson.
in his befuddled condition, made a
mistake, and went into the room he had
slept in the summer before-the room
where the incubator was-instead of
the room he was then using as bed
room.
He wps tired and sleepy, and some
thing else, and clambered into bed at
Once-in the incubatOri He was so
muddled he did not discover his mis-
take, and was soon snoring away like a
lord. The top layer of eggs had no
covering of bed-clothes. Jimson had
pumped down among and upon the
eggs, smashing them by the dozen.
In ha l..
ulator Of the stove, turning on a good
cheerful fire, and soon he was a rolling,
tumbling mass of humanity, tortured
by the heat and bathed in perspiration
and eggs.
He snored all night, till broad day
light, and was found by Mrs. Jlmson
in the morning.
When she opened the door she was
nearly hoored by the terrible odor-
an awful mixture of beer, whisky, eggs
and Jimson-that greeted her, and she
came very near fainting at the dis
gusting spectacle presented by her hus-
band. She was mad when she got
over being disgusted, and she routed
Jimson out with the broom. Every
egg in the incu bator was smashed, the
incubator was a wreck. and so we're
JinsOn's hopes of becoming a million
siTe.
"Oh, you're a beautyr' said Mrs.
Jimson, scathingly. Coin to be rich,
amt we?-goin' to wear diamonds, all
on account of your great incubator?
oh, yes, that looks like it,"
And she pointed a withering finger
of scOrn at the wreck.
Poor Jimson! his hopes were
blighted, and it took all day and seven
pounds OF good soap to get him washed
clean.
Then he burned the incubator, swore
Mrs. JimsOn to secrecy, and announced
his intention Of never again scheming
to acquire riches.