New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-04-09
STORIES OF DIR. DEPEW.
HOW He MADE \ PAINFUL MISTAKE ONE
NIGHT AT SHERElS.


FLECTING THAT rNG;.!sH HrNOR T. IS
sEXTIAL.y occvLT-,ls TOO WITTY
SPEECH To TIE CHRISTIAN
ENDEAVORERs
Everybody VITO has listened TO the eioQrence o.
DR.. Depew in his finest moments. when he Is paying
rlbp,c 20 tho virtues Of pce>sll and 10 the excellent
results upon bis NE of the discipline and training
to which Mrs. Depew. with conscientious devotion
wisely subjects BIN knows that the k'epn, o. soc'a
engagements on ihc part Of the Doctor Is largely due
10 his wife's thoughtful care. II follows then that
when Mrs. Depcw IS unfortunately absent from home
the Doctor Is liable make numerous mistakes and TO
encounter serious mlsforluucS. Mrs. Dcirw has a'eiy
been visiting Fortress Monroe and IN" Doctor In pen
sivc loneliness. has been doing ih' best he conh I"
render lie endurabe in New York. Some nights
after of those bothcr,omc days That al on''
men experience during which thousand and one dis
agreeable things and a thousand and on" dsagrredhlr
people have crowded themselves upon him and have
got on his nerves. DR.. Depcw returned 10 MS lohlN
haialion. sat him down IN drclry solitude to iini his
through his dinner. disposed Of 1t swiftly ana 10
The sure Impairment OF his Digestion rs GOOD man
is bound to do under such circumstances. ana ldv
down upon a couch In his library t. think the p'nsVr
thoughts suitable 10 the OCCASION. llap"ning I"
glance toward the mantclplccc directly opposite he
saw what appeared 10 b" card Of invitation.
How did that get thercl~ said the Doctor 10 MIN
self "Undoubcdy Mrs. Depcw must have pat 1t
there rs a memOundum FOR mo that ! am Due some
wlcrc. al some time. for purpose. Now would
better stir myself ana ascertain when. where and what
for. If have got 10 talk night on TIE Manifest
Destiny Of the Human Race. or The Immortality oil
the soul. or anything Of tLat sort It's time ! Was
knowing tt
Thu, CONSIDERING the Doctor arose, walked over to
the mantcplrcc and read from the card the inior-
NATION that Mr.. ana Mr.. Joseph II Choate requested
80 pleasure Of his company TO meet th" THURSDAY
Nisl,' club and Mr. George Gro,snith 4, sherry.
"Gros>mithi" exclaimed the Doctor. "IhuisuaS
night! Shcrrvsi WHY. tbs (, Thursday night. and
here am about lo lose The b"N show OF tr' season
The Doctor glanced at his watch II was already
past =. RcmarMns that he had no time 1" lost
lie cast himself into his dr-,s suit and hurried OH I"
,hcIry'>. Arriving. The Doctor went directly !" the
private dining hall. encounerinc on The way an anna
lly aggressive waiter who ohlginsIy assumed pos
session Of the Doctors coat and hat. busted AT him
with the utmost diligence. and inquired II b" had
ticket no" said tie doctor. 81 left II al home.
But CUE, its AL right
Oh why. certainly replica the oblGlnc walter
w!iereupon without more ado BE- busted ii" doctor
into an apartment well flied with ladies and gentle
men, ana -at him down near tie door.
The Doctor looked around 10 discover his host ana
hostess but concluded dat they must b. hidden lbs
tn. flower, at Ia" further .nd Of The room. Ham"
some elderly gentleman addressing t." company.
and "A, the Doctor contemplated Dol, appearance ID"
remarked t. himself that Ia" had no Idea tat "To--
smith Wa 50 old a man or That IA" looked 80 u'.'"h
monty like u scientific PRISON who had spent ~, ne
chriNaiiug hadlli OF studying IN" PROGRESSION 81 Wv
.ounoxc, "lowrycr." sail The Doctor thorcl'flll'.
English hrnor I, apt 10 make u man look odl,h ana
scdaic.7 settling himself to BE- entertained. Mr. De
pew wa startled t. hear the humorst dc'an' upon .
quality Of the Ego, then on the qualities 81 Non
Ego then the dc>rahIliiy of maintaining ono -'
In harmony with t,r Eternal Eo-'n~". then Oh ld'
operations Of the moral law Of enva'ipn How
VERY Icmaikablc!~ laid Or. Dcpcw, ana 'hi' J. the
gentleman who invent ~r Joseph Porter AID Bun
ihorur. I'll, +, Tie sn'l'man w.o sings lh'' o.
ngAtil and instructive" verse about poll ,ne np '"'
handle of tn big front door. about how h' AWAY
voted bis plrys call, and never thought 81 INN"
ing for himself at all and about that uh'or'hla"
dicky bird VINO sat on a tree sally mnrmNrns I'V"
lime 10 tinc IN encfburdened accents On "nIo"'
ii, willow tit willow and this sam" gentleman IN
dor,aA,, to move TO uproariou, nirth by telling
me- u,out the Ego and the Non Ego. and the Es,"' {"
Well have always heard tant Ensli-h hum'' WAS
occult and that IL required a man h-'N 'l" "'u
In nn 10 derive the fullest satisfaction ont of u. !
lay. thought myself fairly w.ll equipped with hnnor
.,s .cu.iD.uiv. bat really don't boley" at p"r
Give In any full ana sufficient way III" m'r'iI" 4 ''
ty Of Nj Gro~.nith's original aiirr->'-.'
Nevertheless. MIR. DcpcH continued to listen ana
,b.u the lecturer reached tnit point In vi, talk whcf'
hc tod Of the olrou- relation between moral 80"
.clou-uc.- on the par Of the ancient thal1r1he ana
the sign, Of the Zodiac. Dr. Dcp" hehvcd genie
sigh ami turning to exceedingly decoroH' Nonh-
gentleman by his ,ldc, inquired -ol"miy NV 'T"i'
'wArr" am ! al
This, -lrr said IL" decorouS vounc man. rs =
meeting OF the Drlwins-Eoom Nilh'
"Nt hnl what ar, tur objects OF The Drawing
Room cub:
~rl. discussion Of c,oicfle philosophy
..otr said D., Dcp,w. And yon will b" good
.nonr, 10 tell me We /. TIE learned and powerful
lecturer 10 whom are l,tcnnsi'
THAT, Professor swift. Of Harvard
Dr Dcpcw put ~, head in his hand, ana c"n'Hl'n
I'M he had 70 turn tie clilchc into co1sh ~ "id'r
t ,id seeming dl- r., poet Ia the orator. At hnsth
Professor swift concluded h- rcmnrh,. ani III" chair
man called upon Dr ~. Clair MckclNHS 10 continent
uu.u ni. speech 81 tie evening. Professor h'hr'
way arose with "a. hands In lis trousers pocket ana
frs head ~ near 10 ethereal spa" - hc coii -'' IT,
ana made 4 number of extraordinary remarks -"
r,ully Illustrating 'Ac fact that what he did not ""
about the Ego or the Non.EsO and the moral i'i'hS
of tho Zodiac va, ample enough 70 form material ol i
,r.t rls. constellation Dr. Dp'w waited un'll Dr.
NcKelwav had concluded III, Instructive d-c"nr~" ana
then reached for his hat bat an Intellectual looNu-
woman. VIA cyc-lI.s", aAd short nan. S"'u'h'
sro,. AID remarked Tat there vas with them an ''
au.ui and learned maa. who bad Giv u great attention.
To- all d.ip-tcnt subjects, ana VII cum" "'''" ''
SAY much That would cdify aad 'nlisAien TIE c"p. ~"
r.forrci She sail. to Or. Dcp"w
The Doctor paused. gasp"d. 'r"nhl"' ana '"h''
against the wall. bat hearing from all sides 'rir' 81
- D.p.vl Dcpow - be aroused himself ana Tr,ON'''"
BIS ,contci s,ron,tl and prc-"nc" Of nlhd. y
'Wcl.s .c SAID softly 10 himself j NAV d. d
u,,lc .av on the Ego and Tie NOn.E-o. but uiih"
can match McKolway.' Then II occurred TO TIE Doc
tor at his best way ont Of III" scrap' was 10 ''' VIZ
nh he most usfOYt l.d' ~
s.p,ri,re Of Mr., Drp.w to ilrpor's Ferry. ""e"
h. lad done there was at lca>t on" cry eYr !" Wv
room. II appcr'aincd to TIE son"wna' so!'"'" '''"
:cnanc" Of professor swift OF Harvard
Many are Tie storic, told Of the iaclty Win "''''
1cdor pressure, Dr. Dcp'w compps"a Bis o''' II"
dresses lie possc.,c, this shl III an eNiF""fu'''N
u.ea-ui" and vet that was not always M ''''' -
~ bean acquired IL i the result OF years u el','
There vi. "A TIA. Ia rs y0ras days ~ '''h'"'''
wen l." WAS IA member Of debating cI' ''''' "i''
! ,.Di q talk vita = halt dad samin"r '""' m'-"'
., w.. discounted D"'uo-iI, n", But Dr. D'P'" "'u