The Portland daily press., 1893-01-10

deltoid what was the result when Mr..
Magruder kissed her.
"Why, merely contraction of the
orbicularis oris muscle, thus" said the
student as she leaned over and kissed
Mr.. Magruder.
Magruder's brother in the cupboard
thought maybe it wasn't so very solemn
for Mr.. Magruder after all. He con-
Bidered this portion of the exercises in
certain sense soothing. But all the stu
dents said it was perfectly scandalous,
and Mrs. Magruder, after informing the
offender that hereafter when illustration
of any point of the lesson was needed it
would be supplied by herself, ordered
her to go to the foot of the class and to
learn eighty new bones as punish
ment.
"Do you hear me, miss" demanded
Mrs. Magruder when she perceived that
that contractor of the orbicularis oris
muscle did not bulge.
Eyes" she said, II am conscious Of
vibration striking against the membrane
tympanu1n, and being transmitted
through the labyrinth until it agitates
the auditory nerve, which conveys the
impression to the brain"
Correct" said the professor. "Then
obey me, or I will call my biceps and
fexors and scapularis into action and put
you in your place by force"
eyes, and we will help her with our
spinatus and infraspiralis, exclaimed
the rest of the Grass.
Magruder's brother in the gloom of
his cupboard did not comprehend the
character of these threats, but he had a
vague idea that the life of that lovely
young sawbones was menaced by fire.
arms and other engines of war of a
peculiarly deadly description. He felt
that the punishment was too severe for
the crime. Magruder himself, he was
convinced, would have regarded that
! orbicularis operation with courageous
fortitude and heroic composure.
Mrs. Magruder then proceeded to give
the class practice in certain operations
in medical treatment. She vaccinated
Magruder on the left arm. while one Of
the students bled his right arm and
showed her companions how to tie up
vein. They applied leeches to his nose
under the professors instructions; they
cupped him on the shoulder blades; they
exercised themselves in spreading mus
tard plasters on his back; they timed
his pulse; they held out his tongue with
pinchers and examined it with a micro
scope, and two or three enthusiastic
students kept lowering round Magruder's
leg with saw and carving knife until
Magruder's brother in retirement in the
cupboard shuddered with apprehension.
At last Magruder began to revive. He
turned over; he sat up; he stared wildly
at the company; he looked at his wife;
then ne sank back upon the sofa and
said to her in feeble voice:
Henrietta, somehow or other feel
awfully funny
Funnyl Magruder's brother con-
sidered that after the performance Of
the class Magruder ought to feel funny
enough to edit a comic paper. He
emerged from the cupboard. and Selling
a chair determined to tell the whole
story. Mrs. Magruder and the class
screamed, but he proceeded. Then up
rose Magruder and discussed the subject
with vehemence, while his brother
brandished his chair and joined in the
chorus.
Mrs. Magruder and the class cried,
and said Mr.. Magruder was brute and
had no love for science. But Mr.. Ma
gruder said that as for himself. "Hang
sciencer' when a woman became so
infatuated with it as to chop up her
husband to help it along. And his
brother said that he ought to put it in
even stronger terms than that. Yankee
Blade.