Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1893-12-07
TRIBULATIOH HALL.
Where Justice is Melted out to all
Persons on an Even Balance.

| have heard of Maiden lane and
Restau.a ant avenue before, remarked
His Honor as he took his seat and
prepared 10 investigate the happens
ings of the last few days, but since 1
have been in Office the condition of
these several named places has been
exceptionally good, but now 1t is
broken and | see that only severe
May | speak word, judge?
Hold on! When your time comes
but not now, I'm talking. l was
going to remark, continued His
Honor, severe measures alone will
guarantee good behavior. You can
proceed, but make it short and go
SOW.
Yes sir, Judge. | was standing
up dar GEAR de ally. | was feeling
good-jus like stream of sasafrac
tea sweetened wild lasses was jossi>
latin through my bones, when long
Gums dat cullud lady ober dar. You
jes keep off of my Consideration
Hold Oh, you can't have any talk
back in this court.
Well, Judge, she jes cum along
and jes throwed off on me and slam
mated my repasentashun. She call
me cross-eyed yaller-skin whangs
doodle and said she was all wool and
a yard wide, guaranteed not to rip,
run down or ravel. Arter sich a
spreshun as dat l perceeded wild an
investigashup,so whew got thew wild
her she'd face on her as long ..as
a dis years county tax receipt-dat's
all.
You can sit down; $500 and cost,
and the cash II ust be paid before
you depart.
Size paid, which took all she had.
She asked for pencil and paper and
hand the following to the clerk.
De turkey gobler gobbeth but him
roosteth good and high.
Kase he knows dat thanksgiben it am
getting mighty nigh
Oder days IFS beef and chicken. yet ur-
key is de meat.
For dem dat can afford it, on thanksgiv-
ing day 10 eat.
| But alas for mo poor mortal, without a
cent of cash,
1 will have to make mo dinner of white
meat made into hash,
The Clerk suggested that she haYe
the white meat smoked and it would
look more North Carolina like, and
she left.
A tramp-You are::charged with
being tramp and begging from
house to house.
/ beg pardon, your Honor.
Hold ur! This world wasn't made
in day, you can have say when !
get through, remarked the court. 1t
is contrary to the ordinances of this
town to beg from house to house and
besides it is annoying to our people
and cannot be allowed. You can
proceed now, hut make it short, this
court hasn't time to fool with old
tramps.
Tramp stands up, hangs his hat on
his hand and strikes as graceful a
position as the circumstance will al
low, and proceeds:
Well, Judge, was hungry and tired
with nothing to do.
begged for some bread, if only stale
bread,
1 would have been content, wouldnt
| you9
| begged the wrong house, I wish
| was dead. 1t was policeman's
May I go, yours,
That will do.
Yes, Judge, 1 just wanted to show
how I was took if | had only stayed
on the street. / would have been
safe. I was stranger and they
took me in.
You can sit down. Strangers, like
you are not wanted in this town. Sc
I will see if you can't he put out.
As the first poetical tramp of the
season was being towed out he re.
marked that man has big heart in
him, it melted when / got in tina,
poetry. Why down at Florence, s
c., I sprung that same poem and
the mayor gave me 60 days.
Such is life, remarked the officer al
he quickened his pace, and yanked
/ the tramp along.
It was soon quiet in Tribulatior
hall. Court was over and the usual
Icrowd of Wis. tors had gone.