The record-union., 1893-04-14
People on the Street Cars.


EDS. RECoRD-UNIoN: There is per-
haps no greater advantage afforded for
the study of human nature than the street
railway. The physiognomist would be
delighted at the great variety of subjects.
All of the facial expressions; the promi-
nent features of mans profile; evolution
eXemplitied. There you will see noses
which Surmount the visages of the repre-
sentatiYes OF various nations, from the
''beaks" and 'pugs" to the symmetrical
aquiline nose OF the Grecian model. You
may observe man in his true nature
lowly people, humble people, respecta-
bic people, lordly people and conceited
people; long, tall, slim and fat people.
and other peculiarities of the race.
From this point OF vantage you may
observe their frailties or the well-bred per-
son. Freaks OF nature, not the physical
freaks of the museum, but mental freaks.
These observations are frequently inn
pressed upon the mind of the conductor,
as he is supposed to be mechanical con-
trivance Oh which to make these pecul-
iaritieS apparent-automatic, as it were
this machine keeping its orbit, submit
ting gracefully to an occasional TRADE of
tongue-lashing, as il the privilege TO do
SO was bought and paid for, with the ride
| thrown in. Ladies who dote on pug
dogs, these eccentric dog tanciers, with
dog on one arm and baby on the other,
who stand in equal favor. Their mental
faculties must be abnormal in some re-
spects, favorable to the dog, and deficient
in others; also favorable to the dog.
People often tell conductors when en-
barking at Second street that they wish
to get of at Twenty or TWENTY
third as the case may be. Not wishing to
cucumber their mental faculties by re-
membering it themselves, they wish to
be notified and would require an exer-
ton to signal the conductor. The
| people, if they have any, will rise above
the surface, possibly TO relieve their mind
| from all OF the pent-up surplus temper
accumulated at home during the week
which is poured forth in such volume
that it soon places the conductor 'hors
! de combat"
Strangers, who have either mistaken
US for walking encyclopedias or a CITY
/ directory. ply us with questions that
are bewildering. We should be paid for
4 advertising. Ladies who consume much
| time in searching among the labyrinth of
! drapery in an almost inaccessible recess
Tor Il particular nickel that had been hid
den there some time previous, it would
| keep magician guessing as to the loca-
ton of that pocket.
| There are men with an air of self-con-
seriousness of their own importance like
a tremendous planet around which the
smaller satellites gravitate, like an egg.
so full OF themselves that they cannot
contain any more, a Judge, or Hon,
somebody who has digraced a former
Legislature. There are others who sud-
denly discover, while passing the last
crossing, that they wish to alight at that
point, and SO signal the conductor.
AS street cars in this city are not pro-
vided with automatic air-brakes the car
cannot be stopped near enough to the
crossing to suit the passenger, who has
LETT his reason behind him and so gives
vent to his displeasure in no mistakable
terms. The conductor is expected to APP
pologize for his lack of intuition in de-
vining the intention of this erratic pas
senger. The trials and tribulations of
car men are so numerous that. the state
ment of one only suggests another. so
will leave the balance to be inferred. Be
| 1t said, however, that many are ladies
and gentlemen in the broadest sense of
the word, and an honor and credit to
| any community. a CONDUCTOR.