Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-04-04
FUN FOR CITY YOUTHS
SINGULAR IDEAS OF SPORT THAT is
LAUGH PROVOKING.

Ragged Urchfn-Quaittfes That Are EB-
sential to Full Appreciation of the
| Richness of This Fun.
Hulloa, everybody, did you ever have any
tun? Now don't all speak at once Per-
! haps you don't know as much about fun as
| you think you do 1t may be that YOU have
been restricted by your environments
that you have never seen or had the real
[, crude article, and perhaps it will be a new
suggestion to you when l tell you that fun
| is one of those many good things which de-
| preciates and is apt to lose its germ by he
| ing superrefined.
| There is no end of fun in this world The
city of New York is fairly efTervescent with
it. 1t turks unseen in every alleyway wait
| ing to tickle you between the ribs and send
| You off into commissions The most sedate
| and sterile streets abound in latent fun if
| you only possess "A sufficient sense of humor
| to find it out and overcome its inertia.
There are n few essentials however which
| it IS absolutely necessary that you should
| possess before you can explore the ultimate
recesses where fun seeks seclusion
You must be years old You must be
poor. You must be ragged. You must live
in the vicipage of Mulberry, Bayard and
Baxter streets. OF course you can have
some fun if you are years old-or Q. But
l should advise you to be as near 8 as pos
sible, because at that age your sense of
4
must be poor in order that you may appre-
ciate fun in its crude state; ragged because
that gives you immunity from injuring
your clothes-an abandon, so to speak You
must live in Poverty Flat because there
you will have the greatest scope ard the
most fertile field in which to display your
ingenuity. Being thus armed and equipped,
by both nature and fortune you will go
forth in quest of fun
What is fun? The answer may be summed
S,p in the one word, "Aggravation" Per
haps you won't find the word given as a
synonym in the dictionary, but that is SIM
ply because Noah Webster didn't have his
fun in that way. There is, to be sure a
time honored but most delusive aphorism
to the effect that Ito be good is to be hap
py." You and will readily discard such
sophistry. We would remark that Ito be
aggravating is to be happy" For q ample:
The barber, NJ. Raven, has a nice, clean
window pane He washes it every morn
ing in order that the passersby may look in
and see how coy and inviting his estab
lishment is and how his customers stretch
out at their ease in his big, comfortable
chair. This is splendid opportunity for
fun. You go along and breathe on his win
dow pane. BY pressing your face against
the pane till your nose is quite fat and
breathing quick and hard you can manage
to steam over quite a large surface in
short time.
Then, when the barber shakes his fist ut
you and makes Q pretence of leaving his
customer, half lathered, to run after you
you can indulge in n species of 5-ffnger ex-
ercises, which is very irritating-that is
you elevate your hand to the level Of your
nose, extend your thumb until it touches
the tip of that organ and wiggle waggle |
your fingers. This has been called con
densed irony" and will surely cause the |
barber great annoyance, while at the same
time, at your susceptible age, rendering
You lots of pure, unadulterated fun If you |
wish to further indulge your sense Of hui |
NOR at the expense of the barber. you can |
write your name with a flourish on the /
pane where you have steamed it.
You are ragged, and the natural imprints
which your feet leave in the newly fallen |
snow show that you are barefooted Very
good Can't Il boy laugh with his boots
off, would like to know? Did ever a man
absorb any humorous propensities from
his shoes and stockings; You and l have
heard of those people who can't tell joke
from n side of sole leather and they are
the mISanthrOpes who lock upon Il bare
footed childhood - one lacking, in fun and
devoid of happiness.
Another source OF fun is this You get an
old tin pail. fill il with lime and pour in
sufficient water to set fire to the lime |
Then you fasten piece of wire to your
pail and whirl it around your head furi-
ously. This viii not only brighten horses
to the verge of madness. but is a legitimate |
source of fun per Sc.
Again. you procure an old stocking-any |
color will do-the length is the important |
factor. The foot of this you fill with -four
and, by the way, as the victim of this little
joke rarely, II ever, gets the right perspec- |
tive in looking at it from his standpoint |
you would better have a partner in your
enterprise, or better still, four or five But.
ha! ha! see you catch my idea at once.
Yes, herein lies your opportunity to get
even with the boy who wears better clothes
than you do You flour bag him. SO to
speak Your exquisite sense of humor will
attract you toward some boy whose clothes
are dark-black preferred. This is. more
over, an instructive maneuver- You are
exempllfying for the time being. in the act |
OF swinging your loaded stocking, the op-
erations of the centripetal and centrifugal
forces, and you unconsciously absorb a GER
tain amount of practical knowledge there
by, much as the nursery babes do who
construct houses out of blocks labeled
RATS etc, respectively
Another rare bit of legitimate and highly
sport is this: You can walk
along very softly behind some nervous old
till you see at distance ahead
Of you one of your Daniel boon compan-
ons- Then you rush forward like a ma
mac and at the same instant let out a yell
hat will freeze the blood in his veins-tot
'ay nothing of his arteries and heart. You
ire merely calling to your playmate, and
'ifense at you for that?
Above all things, be cautious Avoid |
getting into trouble. Alas! you are COM {
'elled to bear in mind that not every per-
on who has advanced somewhat beyond
our happy time of life was ever endowed !