St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1893-10-14
THE JOKERS' Budget.

THE JOKERS' Budget.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY! MEN
OF THE PRESS. |
Heredity -Vicarious Gymnastic6 "A
Short alemory-An Obligin2 NeI hew,
Etc, Etc.
HEREDITY. -
Mrs Jackson--I don't think that tn a
boy is a counterpart of you by an V
means; he frequently exhibits traits f
my character.
Mr.. Jackson-Yes, and have notics ,d
then that spanking always followed. -
New York Sun.
She-Pshaw! A married woman
doesn't have any fun and an en- gagged
girl doesn't have any fun.
He (most distressed)- VII at fun
does an unengaged girl have?
She-She has the fun of trying to get
engaged and married. Il Truth,
v1cArrous GYMNASTICS. rs
al say, Cholly," said Chappie, al
should think it would make you tab ed
to sit heah in the gymnasium and watch
your man swing Indian clubs"
1T does, deah boy, it does. I do
it for hawf an houah envy morning.
It's the way I take me exercise D
Washington Evening Star.
"Do you always learn all the hard les
sons the teacher gives you?" asked Uncle
Mark.
ooh yes" replied Willie; 'but I find
they're awful easy to forget. '-[ Harper's
Young People.
AN oBLIGING NEPHEW.
Aunt-You visit me often enough,
admit, but you want money every time
Now | tell you plainly that you need
not expect anything from me as long as
| live.
Nephew-Oh, my dear, will will
ingly wait longer than that.-(Schalk.
KNEW NO MORE THAN THE FLY.
For several minutes Carleton watched
a fly buzzing on the window pane and
then asked "Why does that fly do
that"
Because" explained mamma, che
doesn't know what glass is, and wants to
get OUT
"Well," answered Carleton, shortly.
II guess I must be fly, cause don't
know what glass is."- Harper's Young
People.
AN HONEST wooER.
The Heiress-Why do you wish to
marry rne?"
The Impecunious-You wish me to
answer honestly?
The H--Yes.
The I--Without concealment or pre-
varication?
The H.--Yes.
The because I want you to be my
wife New York Press.
SAFETY ASSURED.
Old Lady-Oh, Ialways get so nervous
ON a railroad. Don't you think we're
goin' at an awful rate2
Mr.. Illuck-Y-e-s, but you needn't
worry, mum; there won't be any acct
dent.
"How do you know there won't?"
"Cause I've got an accident insurance
ticket. "-lNew York Weekly.
THEY COME HIGH, BUT
Mrs. Makeshift-Well, I've found out
how to make up my new dress at last.
Mr., M.-Then why don't you get the
stuff
Mrs M-No money left. 1t took all
had to buy fashion magazines. IL New
York Weekly.
POVERTY IN OPULENCE.
"With all her money there's one thing
Mrs. Oldgirl doesn't own"
"What is that?'
"Her age"
CALL TO A CHAIR.
Barber-Well, this is the last time I
shall cut your hair.
Customer-Going out of the business?
Barber-No; have accepted the call
TO chair at Cornell University Puck.
DIsCOURAGING.
Weary Raggles-Please, mister, can't
you give me little assistance2
Mr.. Newcomer-Dig up this garden
and will give you fifty cents.
Weary Raggles-Better keep it, boss;
you'll need it to buy vegetables WITH
Puck.
HIS PROSPECTS NOT GOOD.
Waterman-Who is that dude who has
come here to board2
Wife--He says he is marine painter.
Waterman--You'd better ask board in
advance. All the mariners around here
paint their own boats New York
Weekly.
THE MUSE ON TEAR.
If lot of little mouses
Are a lot of little mice,
Why are not lot of houses
Called a lot of little hice2