Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-04-27
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
LauCha BILE.
Let Us Laugh.


CHOIR singers are rarely intimate.
They are mere chants acquaintance.
-Binghamton Leader.
WE are willing to endure the crino-
line if the girls will agree not to use
barbed wire.-U tica Observer.
WHEN the legislator "calls for di-
vision" he doesn't always refer to the
yote.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
SOME orators are badly stuck by
the time they reach the point of
discourse. cleveland Plain Dealer
A MAN with a broken leg is apt to
do good deal of darning while the
leg is knitting. -Binghamton Leader.
TALK is cheap. If you don't be-
lieve it sec how much you can get for
the price of shave. -Elmira Ca
Zette.
No MAN ever disputed a boundary
line to the extent of shoveling snow
past his neighbours fence.-Elmira
Gazette.
The young man who puts his foot
on his knee in the street car is pre-
pairing to take lessons on the mando-
lin.-Picayune.
ST. LOUIS has a girl phrenologist.
Evidently woman is getting to the
head in the march of progress
Boston Transcript.
us HARKAwAY as dull as they say
he is?" Every bit Why, my foot
went to sleep when HarkaWay was
talking last night. Truth.
odd you ever go to Bins, the
tailor?" eyes. Got two suits from
him. One dress suit. One law suit.
Very expensive man. "-Waif.
IN case hoops do come there
wouldn't be appropriateness in re-
Fviving the old song, "Im Sitting on
the Style, Mary" = Philadelphia
Times.
A RECENTLY published book enti-
tied "Fairbairn's Book of Crests" de-
clares that only twenty-one Ameri-
can families are entitled to the use
Of a crest
A CONTEMPORARY gives the start
ling information that persons should
"dress quietly when attending the
funeral of dear friend. "-Philadel-
phia Record.
"THls is temperance hotel isa't
it?" asked one guest of another. Il
think it must be-" was the reply. Il
never knew it to be full. Browning.
King & Go. IS Monthly.
MRS MUsCAvADO-The Newriches
are people who don't know who their
grandparents were. Mrs. Rockoil-
Oh, yes, they do, but they hope that
no one else does. Brandon Bucksaw
"YoUNG man." said the Judge,
sternly, "your face is familiar. Have
you ever been in this court before?"
mo, SIR" replied the young man,
I'm faro dealer "-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
MOTHER Haven't l told you little
boys must be seen and not heard?
Johnnie-Ye s'm. Mother-Then why
do you talk so much? johnnie
guess / must have inherited it.-De-
troit Free Press.
BoGGs-"The United States Senate
is the great National Theater, after
ALL" Foggs-"How so?" Boggs-
Seats ia the body Of the house cost
more than those in the gallery. -
Smith, Gray & Co. S Monthly.
JUDGE-Why did you not return
the pocketbook you found on the same
evening? Defendant-1t was too
late. Judge-Why, then, did you
not deliver it in the morning? De-
fendant-No use; nothing left in it.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
"MY old aunt out in Brown County
has sent me jar Of branded peaches,
said Mr.. Lashforth to row of
friends. "Now, while / don't like
peaches, still l fully appreciate the
spirit in which they were rendered"
indianapolis Journal.
Where is Mile. Kick
up tonight? Mile. Souriante-
is unable to appear. Dudeleigh-
| Why? Mile Souriante-She at
tended a little private party last
night, and unfortunately stubbed
her toe on the chandelier. Brooklyn
Life.
DIRECTING PARENTs-Y Yes, | know
how it is with you young people.
You'd get along SO long as the sea is
calm and it is smooth sailing, but
what would you do in case of squall?
| Practical SaiIor-Well, if the worst
comes to the worst we can employ
| nurse.-Puck.
| THE deacon's wife wanted. to jot
| down the text, and. leaning over to
her scapegrace nephew, she whispered:
"Have you any cards about you?"
you can't play in church, was the
solemn, reproving answer, and the
| good woman was so fustered that
she forgot her text.-A non.