Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-11-15

Let Us All Laugh.
TIE tip-top fellow is never low
dOwn.-Picayune.
THERE isn't mushroom for doubt
that toadstools are deadly. Troy
Press.
HE-I think you love me. Am 1
right? Shc-No, sir, you are left -
Fashion Review.
If brevity is the soul OF wit all we
who are short" ought to be very
jolly.--Trcy Times.
The man who takes the cake
thinks he is only receiving his des-
sert.--Boston Transcript
PHYSICIANS are made, not bern
no boy ever yet took naturally to
medicine. Elmira Gazette.
Ir is cruel to dock horses, but they
never complain; the victim is no
tlll-bearer. Buffalo Courier.
A NEWPORT Ny.) girl married a
fellow seven feet tall. She had loved
him long. -Clcveland Plain Dealer.
LOVE is said to be blind, but it
generally gets there ahead Of the old
man just the same. - Galveston
News.
ONLY in rare instances Is q man
justified in borrowing money to pay
the tax on dog. - Philadelphia
Press.
IT Is the inside way to the wayside
inn which makes the inn popular
among outsiders. - Texas Com
mercial.
WHEN parliamentary division
ends In free fight both the eyes and
nose are apt to have it.-Lowell
Courier.
The latest method OF clipping is by
bicycle. In such instances it is love
which makes the wheels go round. -
Buffalo Express
AT the electrical examination a:
what is the best insulator we know
of?" Candidate - Poverty" - La
Science Examiner.
THERE are two things in the world
upon which there has never been any
mprovement-the wheelbarrow and
kissing. -Hardware.
IL HEAR Clara has contracted 4
mesalliancc. "POOr girl. 1t was
only week ago she contracted hay
fever. detroit Free Press.
MANY a young man has a great
future ahead Of him. The great
difficulty is that it persists in keep
ing there. Washington Star.
How CAN I become a ready con-
.versationalist?" Persuade yourself
that you have a chronic disease of
some kind. Buffalo Express.
BURGLAR-"Your money or your
life" Head Of the family -"For
goodness sake, don't shoot You'll
wake the baby. Detroit Tribune.
WHENEVER you have a proposition
to get something for nothing it will
pay you to walk around it by the
furthest route. -DOylestown News.
"PERRY CRATER won't be able to
write any more jokes for good while
now" "Why?" "He fell and broke
his humerus. "-Indianapolis News.
AN editors excuse for discontinue
ing the publication Of his paper was
that everybody else stopped the paper.
and so he thought he would. lid
Bits.
TRAIT a woman has no idea of dis
lance is known by every husband
who has heard his wife boast how far
she makes her dollars go.-Atchison
Globe.
BRACE wish my creditors would
have that sign before them on the
first OF every month" Bagley -
what sign?" Brace - "Post No
Bills. Puck.
TRAMf-"Madam, l have gone
through many things" Woman
"Ycs, and you can go through that
gate again as quick as you can.
Here, Tige." proycr's journal.
CUSTOMER in book store)-aI
would like to get some good book
on Faith" Clerk--''Sorry, sir, but
our lule is to sell nothing to stran-
gers except for cash. buffalo
Courier.
HE-"If you will give me Just
one kiss, Ill never ask you for
another" She--"Georgc. it is bad
enough to tell a falsehood, without
insu ting me at the same time. y
Boston transcript.
NEARLY every druggist in the
large towns CT Maine (thcre are only
two exceptions in Augusta) is under
indictment for violation of the LIQUOR
law. This shows how it is winked
at.--Philadelphia Ledger.
Mr. BINKs-"Why SO unhappy?"
Mrs. Binks-I hate that Mrs. Mex.
door with deadly hate and Pm per-
fectly miserable over it," Mr.. Binks
-"She doesn't know It," Mrs. Binks
THAT'S why I'm unhappy. New
York Weekly.
HIS FIRST RESTAURANT DINNER.
Waiter-"You're not gwine T. forgi,
de waitah, sah?" Silas Haymow-
"Not much. never forgits u face
after I've once seed it. II yer eve:
up near Bristol, drop in. III be glad
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