The Port Gibson reveille. [volume] (Port Gibson, Miss.) 1890-current, 1893-08-04
THINGS WISE AND OTHERWISE.

" eA*~ ~~@ sf@&s ~A@s 81 tAA**&h 40 ~ RAU&<
village of western New York. On
d morning q very corpulent butche
! called ut the parsonage with roas
Q OF beef for dinner. Mary answere'
/ the knock at the kitchen door am
{ proceeded to entertain him until he
3 mother should arrive. The pastor
d wife, on her way down stairs, over
! heard this conversation: fsThis ia
very lovely day, Mr. Mason" "It i
|, indeed. ]" "Do you like roast beefY
T "Yes." "Do you eat 1t every day?'
"Not eTery day. Why?" "Noth
ing. only your stomach seems to b,
larger than ours"
An old Scotch lady who lived at I
considerable distance from the parish
! church, was in the habit of driving
over to the service. Her coachman,
when he thought the sermon nearly
at an end, would slip out quietly FOR
the purpose of having the carriage
ready by the time the service was end
ed. One Sunday John returned to
church, and after hanging about the
door some time became impatient, ,and
popping in his head saw that the min
lister harangued as hard as ever. Creep
ling down the aisle toward his mis-
tress he whispered in her ear: us
he no dune YETI" "DuneI he's dune
half an hour since, but he'll no
stopW she answered impatienlIy. -
London Tid-Bits.
"There is one thing that always
strikes me as funny about your pro-
ductions," " said The editor to The am
ateur humorisi. "ls that SOP" said
the humorist, with pleased express
sion on his face; "and what is that?n
"Why, that you should think that
they are funny yourself, "said the ed
itor; and the pleased expression van
ished like turkey at newsboys' din
ner on Thanksgiving.
His Wish Gratifed: Montana Pete
Cooking at his overdone beefsteak
and jabbing his bowie knife through
it)-I'd like to see the scoundrel that
cooked this meat Large Woman
(cross-eyed and red-headed, appear
ing a moment later)-Thc waiter tells
me you wish TO see me, sir. Mon
tana Pete wiltsl.
Take care that no young person at
any time sees or hears you say or do
anything base. plato.
Short-sighted gentleman chooses a
pair of spcctacles. "These glasses"
he says, "are not strong enough for
me" "But, sir, they are No. g"
"What have you next to No. 2?"
"No. l." ''And after that?" "Af- |
ter No. l, sir, you win want dog"
-Tid-Bits.
The conversation turned on the
number 13, the spiIling of salt, knives
and forks placed crosswise, and 9TH
er kinds of superstitions. 'FYou
need not laugh &C similar beliefs"
gravely remarked Tranquilletti. San
uncle Of mine at the age of seventy
seven committed the imprudence OF /
going to q dinner at which the guests
thirteen.'' "And he died
That very EVENING" "No; but ex-
actly thirteen years afterward. -
9azetta Piedmontessa.
Bleeker-Do you have these rods
)n your house to protect you from
lightning? Uncle Treetop-No;
rom Iightning rod agents.-Puck.
Mrs. Byers-All the big berries are
It the top of this box, / supposed?
Pom Carter-0h, no mum; some ov
EN- are on top of The other boxes
Puck.
Also, Big Bills: Mr. DIngbat-
Hilliner's bill again, eh2 When will
Fou ever learn to practice economy.
You ought TO remember that fine
'eathers don't make fine birds. Mrs.
Arranging her bonnet)-l
No, Ezra, but they make fine hats.
Ties that Bind us 10 Mature Wei /,
'ould never have loved the earth 30
veil il we had bad no childhood in /
t--if ii were not the earth where The I
'ame flowers came up again every
Ipring that we used 30 gather with II
,ur tiny fingers as we sat lisping to /
ourselves on the grass-the same hips |
md haws on the autumn hedgerows {