Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1893-06-08
JENKS~ BEARD.

tuTucu On lnt subject Oh DuylnK ana selllnB
stocks, a remark being made by a gentle
man present that he thought no person
should sell out stock at that time, as 1t
must be better In few days.
II will sell anything I've got IL can
make anything of it," replied jerks.
''Oh. no." said one, mot anything You
wouldn't sell your beard"
A loud laugh followed this chance re-
mark. jerks Immediately answered.:
II would. But who would want iti Any
person making the purchase would lose
money by the operation, I'm thinking"
"Well," observed, IL would be willing
to take the speculation II the price could
be made reasonable"
"Oh, I'll sell it cheap" answered jerks,
winking at the gentleman present
what do you call cheapi" inquired.
"I'll sell it for ESQ.," jerks answered,
putting forth cloud of smoke and repeat
ing the wink.
"Well, that is cheap. And you'll sell your
beard for g50S"
II will"
'I'll take 1t. When can have iti"
"Any time you choose to call for It."
Every well. It's mine. think shall
double my money at least"
took bill of sale as follows:
70 be worn by me and taken of and delivered
TO him when called for. J.JENKs.
For a week after this whenever / met
jerks he asked me when intended to call
for my beard.
''I'll let you know when want It," was
always my answer. Take good care of it
oil It occasionally. shall call for it one
of these days"
A splendid ball was to be given. Iascer-
tanned that jerks was to be one of the man
ayers, he being great ladies' man-on ac-
count OF his beard, l suppose-and it
occurred to me that before the ball took
place might IA well call for my purchase.
On the morning of the day Of the ball
met jerks in a hairdresser's shop. Hewas
attitudinizing before large mirror and
combing up my beard at the deuce OF a
rate.
"Ah, there you are, old fellowl" said he,
speaking to my reflection in the glass
Come for your beard, supposed"
'Oh. no hurry" replied as sat down
to have my hair dressed.
always ready, you know" he answered.
giving final tie to his scarf.
"Come to think of it." said musingly
as the barbsr began, perhaps now would
be as good time as another. You may sit
down and let the barber try his hand at the
beard"
"You couldn't wait until tomorrow, could
your" he asked hesitatingly. There's
ball tonight, you know"-
ITO be sure there is, and think you
ought to go with a clean face. At all
events, ! don't see any reason why you
should expect to wear my beard at that
BALL So sit down."
He rather sulkily obeyed, and In few
moments his cheeks were in a perfect foam
Of lather. The barber fourished his razor
and was about to commence operations
when suddenly changed my mind.
"Stop, Mr.. Barber" said; you needn't
shave off his beard yet"
So he quietly put up his razor, while
jerks started up from the chair in some
thing very much resembling a passion.
This is trifing," he exclaimed. "You
have claimed the beard. Take II"
II believe a man has a right to do as he
pleases with his own property,"I remarked
and left jerks washing his face.
At dinner that day the conversation
turned upon the beard affair. It seems the
whole town had got wind Of It, and jerks
could not walk the street without the re-
mark being continually made by the boys,
"There goes the man with old Soils beardp'
1t had grown to an immense size, for he
dared not trim 1t.
In short, became convinced that jerks
was waiting very impatiently for me to
assert my right In the property. 1t hap
pened that several of the party were sit
ting opposite me at dinner who were pres
ent when this singular bargain was made,
and they all urged me to take the beard
that very day, and thus compel jerks to
go to the ball beardless or stay at home.
n xuit n tn
reap my crop and promised that IL they all
would meet me at the stockholders Office
where the purchase had been made I
would make call on jerks that evening
after he had dressed for the ball. All
promised to be present at the proposed
shaving operation in the brokers' Office.
and sent for jerks and the barber.
On the appearance Of jerks IL was evt-
dent he was much vexed at the sudden call
upon him, and his vexation was certainly
not lessened when he saw the brokers' Of
fee was flied to overfowing by spectators
anxious to behold the "barberous" proceed
ing.
The lathering was soon over, and with
about three strokes of the razor one side OF
his face was deprived of its ornament.
Come, come" said jerks, push ahead
there is no time to be lost-let the gen.
tleman nave MS Dedru-ne Is iIlipdJltnt.
mot at ALL" l replied coolly. Pm In
no sort Of a hurry myself, and. now think
of it, as your time must be precious at this
particular period, several ladies being In
waiting for you to escort them to the ball,
/ believe I'll not take the other side to
night"
A loud laugh from the bystanders and a
glance In the mirror caused jerks to open
his eyes to the ludicrous appearance he cut
with a beard on one side Of his face, and he
began to insist upon my taking the whole
of my property But all wouldn't do. /
had a night to take it when chose. was
not Obliged to take all at once, and / chose
to take but half at that particular period.
Indeed intimated to him very plainly that
was not going To be very hard creditor,
and that IL he behaved himself" perhaps
should never call for the balance of what
he owed mel
When jerks became convinced was de
termined not TO take the rest of his beard,
he began amid the loudly expressed mirth
of the crowd to propose terms OF compro-
mise, first Offering me e10, then E2O, E3O,
G40, $50, to take off the other side. 1 said
firmly; my dear sir, there is no use talk
ing. / insist on your wearing that half
beard for me for month or two"
What will you take for itf' he at length
asked. Wont you sell IL back to me"
"Ah," replied /, now you begin to talk
as business man should. Yes, bought
IL on speculation. I'll sell 1t IL obtain .
What Is your pricep