Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-07-23
TWO JOHN-ALLEN STORIES.
The Funny ConGressman'S illustrations
OF Negro wit.
Journal.

Congressman John Allen. the bubbling
humorst from Mississippi, IS in great favor
IN Washington circles. Tor he generally has
a bright story at his tongues end. He WAS
recalling a crowd of friends with some
southern stories. and among them was the
one which follows, one OF the few stories
of Aliens that mas not cotton into print:
Allen had employed on his place an old
negro servant. VINO in times before the
war was the property OF the congress-
mans father. Old Uncle Rufus suffered
frequent aud ungOyernable attacks OF
kleptOmanla, attacks that seemed TO be
beyond all remedy. He was arrested
time and time again for stealing
articles from the place or his em-
ployer. Mr.. Allen finally grew tired OF
attempting TO reform his old servant, and
he had him arrested tor stealing big
piece of side meat from the plantation
storehouse. 1t was the intention to have
the servant serve out brief time in the
county Jail for the offence. with the hope
that the Imprisonment would check hin
in his habit of stealing. The old man
pleaded hard with the young Mahs-
tab to be released. and recalled all the
fayors and klndnesses he had shown Mr..
Allen when that dignitary was stlll q boy.
Allen began to weaken on the line OF this
argument. and was about ready to release
the servant on the strength OF his past
services. He turned to Uncle Rufus
with:
Now, Uncle Ruff, if you will bring back
that side meat and promise me on the
Bible that you Will never steal another
thing of this plantation Will let you 90.
Furthermore, you will nave to sign a
paper promising on your solemn honor
never to steal again"
Tncle Rufus hesitated for moment.
"Mahs' john" said he, "Pse willln' TO
Glib YOU back de side meat. Yes. sab. I'll
do dat. I'll do dat-but now, look yeah.
Mahs' John. you can't 'spect me to sign
away my rights"
Aliens generous ways made him very
popular with the old-time negroes, and
frequently be was called upon, without
expectation of compensation, to defend
them IN suits for pilferlng. On one occa-
sion u colored preacher OF the nelghbor-
hood was on trial for stealing some poultry
from neIghbOr. The preacher protested
his innocence, ana Allen made very
able defence for hun. The evidence, how
ever, was very strong against the par
son, and Mr.. Allen saw that his client
would probably be convicted. He whls-
pered TO him after the case had gone TO
the Jury and told him 70 prepare 10 meet
the worst. The preacher was u shrekd
old fellow, but be could not Just see now
he was going to get out OF the scrape.
The Jury was ont only a few minutes aud
the preacher lost all hope. Alter the Jury
had taken their seats and the foreman was
beginning TO read the verdict the old
preacher jumped up from his seat and
bawled out:
"Yo Honah. Pse-"
"Sit down." said the Court. and, turn
ing to the attorney, 4" What does the pri-
soner mean"
"Yo' Honor" persisted the prisoner,
~ move dat dis CO. do adjourn"
We'll" replied the Court, somewhat
amused, how do you expect the Court to
ADJOURN"
Because" continued the prisoner, "a
motion TO adjourn is always III ordah,
sah."