Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-04-13
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes anc Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd. Curious and
Laughable.
Let Us I&ugll,

Laughable.
| Let Us Ixugh.
! NANA-"I love to ride in the troll
ley cars" Maud-"Why?" Mana
| Because you see SO many Sharks.
"DoEs Wing Lee show any evidence
of cornerstone" "Yes, be wants to
marry his Sunday school teacher. p
Philadelphia Record.
JASON says, speaking of school
discipline, the hardest thing to keep
in order at a cooking school is your
| stomach. -Elmira Gazette.
"THE pleasantest way to take cod
liver OIL" says an old gourmand. "is
to fatten pigeons with it and then
eat the pigeons. "-Tid-Bits.
| "MY sweetheart is neither beauti-
full nor young," said Downes; "but
she is as good as gold" "Ah! it's the
gold you're after." said Bigbee. -Tid-
| Bits.
This" said Farmer Begosh, who
had listened to cheers till he had a
headache, "is another reminder of
the hollerness of life. Washington
Star.
Mrs. DARLEY-George, dear, why
is love said to be blind? Mr.. barley
Because he has had the wool pulled
over his eyes so Often.-Detroit Free
Press.
MAMMA alphabetically - What
would my little girl do if | should
die? Little Flossie-I don't know;
l suppose l should have to spank my
self.-Life.
THE rumored combination of the
Whisky and sugar trusts is very Omi-
nous The next thing we hear they
will be getting into hot water. Dc
troit Free Press.
CROssE-"I hear Gerkin is in ter
rible pickle. How does he take it?"
| Blackwell-"Oh,h he's as cool as Gu
cumber about it. He isn't as green
as he looks. Puck.
HER Bosom FRIEND-"Oh, what a
dear little ring!" Herself (blush-
ingly) Eyes; it's my engagement
ring" Her Bosom Friend (sweetly)
-"Where did you buy it?"-Quips.
AL PINE - "How uncomfortable
Diogenes must have been, living in a
tub" Archy Teck - Eyes: and it
wasn't the stationary kind, either
Puck.
| LEADING MAN Ito native)-"Where
do the actors stop when they come
down here?" Natiye-"Most Of 'em
stays in the cemetery, two turnin's
to the right as you go down the road. "
t-Quips.
WATTs-"What's the matter with
Braggs? He walks around with his
nose away up in the air and won't
look at any one" Potts-"He sprained
his neck looking for the comet. y
Indianapolis Journal.
FIRST LITTLE GIRL.-"Has your
sister begun takin' music lessons
yet?" Second Little Girl-"She's
takin' somefin' on tn piano, but
can't tell yet whether it's music OIL
| typewritin'. Good News.
| THoMAs-"I say, Governor, nobody
! ever called you donkey, did they?'
Mr.. Closely-"No, of course not.
! Thomas THAT'S what I thought
In this book it says large ears denote
generosity. Texas Siftings
| ANXIOUS MoTHER-"Is that new
neighbours little boy nice boy?'
Little Johnny-"Yes'm. When teach
er asked him who hit him with spit
ball he said he didn't know, and hi
saw me hisself. street & Smiths
Good News.
HIS DAUGHTER LETTER.
Father-We are all we'll and happy
The baby has grown ever SO much
and has great deal more sense thar
he used to have. Hoping the same
of you, / remain your daughter,
Molly Tid-bits.
BINGo-"I'd like to know what
you call these shirts you got me?'
Mrs. Bingo (sweetly)- They are call
ed the liberty shirt, my dear, on ac
count of their freedom of movement
Bingo =" Then give me death. >
Clothier and Furnisher.
Miss PoETIQUE-"How dreamily
delightful is the soothing sounl OF
old oceans waves rolling up in the
! moonlight UPON GLe silver SdHuS!
Miss Practical-"Yes, I always did
like to hear the water sloshing around
on the beach. "-Somerville Journal.
PAPA, dear" said the old mans
testy daughter as she bent fondly
over him during his last illness, for
give rue for asking you, but what are
you going to leave your darling
| daughter when you die?" Father
less" cried the irascible old gentle
man, as he rolled over with his face
| to the wall. Texas Siftings.
SMALL ARTIST" Mamma, I paint
ed this little girl in the picture and
I've got the bureau alongside of her
painted, but | want to paint rouge
| box on the bureau and | can't make
| it look right" Mamma-"Why do
VIZ, want y roI1Un hoy Thereon Small