The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1893-10-04
FIGURE YOUR CHANCES.
SUCCESS WITH THE FAIR SEX RE-
DUCED To STATISTICS.
Paul Bourgeois Table of Professions
That Win Hearts Revised and Cor
at the Top of It-Tony Pastor Says
the Ballad Singer Is at a Premium
of One Hundred Per Cenk.-vtews OF
Some Well-Known Comedians.

Paul Bourget, the French novelist, who
studies life as he finds it and paints
truthfully what he Sees" recently made
public some statistics of the chances of
men in different callings of being success
full with the fair sex. These statistics,
he claims, were the results of the OBJ
servation and investigation OF a physi-
clan attached to womans hospital. He
does not make il clear just what he bases
the percentages on, whether he means
the percentage of chance men have in a
calling of being loved by one woman or
by all women, but at any rate his figures
give comedians pretty nearly a sure thing
whatever the game. They are credited
with rinety-nine chances in 100. while
tragedians have only twenty, and mag
istrates, lawyers, army officers above the
rank of captain, college professors, and
proprietors Of business establishments
have only five. Academicians have only
two and one-half, bankers and brokers
only two, while kings, presidents. am
bassadors, and that sort of thing have
only one chance in 10000
AS comedians have decidedly the best
Of it an explanation was sought from
some of the comedians themselves.
YES said Tony Pastor, 'ninety-nine
in hundred is about the right figure
for a white-faced comedian, but you'll
have to raise the ante for the ballad
singer in the minstrel show. He's the
man that gets the billet douxs. He's the
man that is popular with the ladies.
Why, his percentage is about 200 out Of
a possible 100 He's at a premium. Then
not more than half a length behind
comes the end men and other burnt cork
comedians. Then there are the song and
dance men, the clog dancers, and that
sort of thing, so that the regular white.
faced comedian is pretty nearly as far
behind some of these as he is ahead Of
college professors. Still he's right up to
the front and doing pretty well.
Nov, why is it so? Well, the comedian
keeps right close to the people. He
doesn't get distant. He isn't naughty.
talk to without his trying to explain
the silver question to them or being
snubbed for wearing silk hat with
sack coat. Take Nat Goodwin, for
instance. Anybody who sees him on the
stage and meets him afterWard on the
street feels like slapping him on the
back and saying: Hello. Nat A woman
will bow, not meaning any harm, but
just because the personality of the come
dian in him makes 1t impossible for her
10 90 any l0lIlS else. NOW take a LTdBe-
dian, Henry Irving, for instance; there
isn't anything of that kind. Women
aren't attracted to him. Instead of bow
ing when they meet him on the street
they're more apt to edge away from
him and whisper under their breath TO
their companion: That's Henry Irving
1 know certain number and kind of
women make a fuss about tragedians,
and rave about the genius they display,
and the sublime art and all that sort OF
thing, and want locks of their hair, but,
bless you'll that isn't love, and if it Is,
why. according to this table of statis-
tics here, they are entitled to twenty
in 100. A tragedian's about 100-to-1
shot, 1 guess.
But the comedian-weu, he's gen
orally pretty good looking anyway, and
if he isn't he's got some other good quail
tiles that make people forget it. or he
wouldn't be a comedian
Il am too modest even to have sup
posed that comedians are so almost per-
fectly lovable." said Sol Smith Russell.
flattered If some one else gives them
that character. If they have such
chances of being loved as this table of
figures makes out suppose il is because
in their professional work they portray
the amiable, the care-free qualities; they
are making people happy without i'm
posing the obligation CT gratitude on
those they thus benefit. These are
qualities a woman likes in a man, and I
suppose the quality Of the part is trans
ferred in the mind of the nearer to the
actor. / know my manager gets a great
many letters and personal inquiries as
to whether 1 am the same kind of
character off the stage that 1 am on.
IN the construction of a comedy the
leading character is generally, or at
least often, given qualities that make
the handsomest, brightest and most
obs
play fall in love with him, and 1 sup
pose it has the same effect on those in
front of the curtain as back Of IT. To
be always pleasing, and by inference
studying to please, is a species of per-
sonal devotion, and womankind are
peculiarly amenable to personal devo-
ton.
Then again comedians as rule get
themselves up in a pleasing way. To
pleasing address is added a pleasing per-
sonality and a pleasing garb. That is
not so in my own case, for even if had
a pleasing and striking appearance the
characters / portray do not permit this.
AS Noah Vail in A Poor Relation / am
called on to picture cheerful poverty, and
in Peaceful Valley there is an exterior
of uncouthness and gawkyness, but in
both there are the amiable, gentle, de-
voted qualities which are attractive.
But where to these are added, as they
frequently are, physical perfection, come
illness, and the advantages of good
clotheS-in short, a pleasing exterior
you have a combination of pretty nearly
all the attractive qualities in man. 1 do
not says all the substantial qualities, or
those that hold affection or command re-
spect, but the attractive qualities.
Il see that in this table of statistics
officers under the rank of captain have
ninety chances in 100. That reminds
me that my wife spoke about what
center of attraction for the pretty girls
the cadets were at the worlds fair.
There you have the same qualities, or at
least presumably so, and they are not
constrained and evershadowed by the
sternness and preoccupation that comes
with responsibility, and reduces the
chances of officers above the rank of
captain to five in 100, right to the point
where magistrates and college professors
are in whom also, from the nature of
their duties, the stern and unattractive
qualities are predominant, at least to the
superficial view.
This table does not give the rating of
ministers. 1 shouldn't wonder if they
would rank pretty high up. Their duties
require the amiable and gentler quail
ties. I think, indeed. that in looking
through this table callings rank high or
unconstrained, amiable, and kindly
qualities are patent or latent"
Comedians have ninety chances in
100 to a kings one in 10000. do they?"
said Eddie Foy. well, I'm playing ia
vorites. See? I'll put no money on a
long shot like king or prime minister.
They couldn't win in 1000 years at a
game like that. They haven't much
show as Guttenburg selling platter.