The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-05-24
A GOLD BRICK TRICK
IN THE ASSAY OFFICE THE PEOPLE
HAD LOADS OF FUN.


An Interesting and rIirth Producing En-
counter OF an Innocent Looking jay
hawier with q Lot OF Exceedingly smart
Bank Clerks Who Knew 1t All.
What jay he lookedi The hayseed
was dropping out of his pockets, and his
unkempt whiskers were sporting with
the wind as he marched into the United
States assay Office in Wall street and de-
posted upon a desk big carpet bag,
which he set down with a resoundine
bang All the clerks stood around and
grinned. II was the old story.
Mr.. Assay Man." he said, Il have
here gold brick that r.
But he was interrupted with a roar Of
laughter. A young man in corne,
nearly rolled on the floor with merri
ment. A bankers clerk who had come
in to inquire about gold shipment gig
gled till he was crimson.
Sucker born every minute" he said.
Same old yarn. You jayhawlers
wouldn't get taken in SO often If you
read tho papers. Oh, Lord, what fool
you must bel"
The old man looked puzzled. IF you
will kindly talk English" he remarked,
''you and / will be able to understand
each other better. What do you mean
by calling me foolT'
Precisely what say" spoke up the
bankers clerk you've been taken in
by the gold brick swindle."
"Swindle, ehP"
Eyes, swindle. You met man from
California, didn't you, who had gold
brick tied up in q red handkerchief and
an Indian with him? Man said the bricl
was worth $4,000, and he'd sell it fol
$1,000, didn't he?
HE did"
"Oh, what larki'' laughed the bank
er's clerk, and every one in the Office wat
on broad grin at the mystifcation Of
the jayhawker. "The Californian said
the Indian knew where there were loi
more gold bricks and they've gone to get
them. And then they sold you lumr
Of lead covered with gold paint that is
worth about $4.65, and you've come down
here to the United States assay Office To
have the lead analysed and get told what
monkey you've made of yourself" And
every one howled with mirth.
mot 30 fast, young man." objected
the jayhawker. "You were right about
the Californian and the redslin selling
me the gold brick, but there your infor-
nation ceased. faint no bit of lead they
worked Off onme. Ihada chip of it ana
lyzed. No, sir. want born yesterday,
II am from the country"
you had 1t assayedr' burst out the
bankers clerk, almost exploding with
the intensity of his grin. "You knocked
o corner of the brick, and then they
changed 1t on you, substituting piece
Of real gold cut from IS goldpiece.
That Of course was found to be all right,
and they landed you like an old guy,
high and dry" Laughter
"No, they didn't" protested the jay
hawker. Eve got the genuine thing
I'll bet you $500 it's real gold brick.
And he pulled out the sum of money
named and threw It on the table.
There were cries of Don't take the
poor old chump's money. He's been done
once" and, "'Tain't fair to bet on q sure
thing" The jayhawker, however, pro
tested.
'T'm rich," he said. i've got LOT
more money I'm going to spend on gold
bricks, and il any one can fool me want
to know 1t. I'd like to take fiier on IL
anyway"
The bankers clerk hardly liked to
cheat the jayhawker, but all the rest said
that the lesson would be worth $500 to
the old fellow. ~
''pll make the bet without looking at
the brick" said the bankers clerk. 'sThe
terms of it are that you've been fooled
and that you've bought lump of lead
or something. Money talks. Here's
mine," and he threw $500 on the table.
There were some moral scruples in the
minds of the crowd about "doing" the
old man up in that way, but the major
ity view was that he deserved 1t for be-
ing so fresh.
The money being deposited, the jay
hawker slowly unpacked his carpet bag
In the presence of broad grin. There
were derisive cheers as he took the gold
brick from the many coverings he had
wound around it and handed it to the as
sayer.
That official accepted it, and look Of
amazement came over his face.
"Gentlemen," he said, "this brick will
not need any assaying. 1t was made in
this building, and 1t has the government
stamp upon II. 1t is worth 100000"
The jayhawker reached for the stake
money and transferred it to his pocket
The grin ON the face Of the know it al
clerk changed to an expression Of pair
as he turned to the man nearest to him
and politely requested that he kick hin
to the foot Of Wall street and off into the
East river.
The only person in the crown who wa
smiling now was the jayhawker. Turn
ing to the assayer, who had taken no par
in the proceedings, he said:
81 had business here, but I have trans
acted 1t. My business is exclusivel,