The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-09-30

Each r0Sy-Ch0ck and Curly-hendi
Edgar w. Abbot, in Outlook.
HICKS PATENT COOKER.
The Pathetic Story That Induced
the Rector to Buy.
II would like to call your attention
to my aytent COOKER" said the mild
hammered man with the soft low voice
to the rector of St Bartholomcw's- 1T
consists. as mebbe you can See"
= But I don't desire a cooker. and
would not look at one if I did," inter-
rupted the rector of st. Dartholomcw's
In as irasciblc manner as is permitted
to his cloth.
''They come in three sizes,'' contin-
ucd the 1niltl-manncred man with the
soft low voice-''s,nan, ejuIn and
large. They're made of tin, gcnuwine
quently been congratulated on tho
quality of my tin. Said Bishop Dobson
to me: Hicks, congratulate you on
the quality of your tin"
Bishop Dobson?'' queried the rector
of St. Bartholomews with languid in
terest. IL don't remember to have seen
his name in the church calendar"
"Methody," explained the n,ild-mau-
nered man. I'm Methody. Here's
a certificate from, my pastor saying Ira
an individooal of moral character and
use good tin in my cookers Here's
letter from Rev. Edward Atl1ins-but
don't set much store By that, bcin' rs
he is Il Eaptis, and no judge of tin.
The principle on which my cooker is
based-''
''You will have to excuse me-" said
the rector Of ST. Bartholomew, look
ing hard ct the heavy gold watch pre-
scented him by the parish on his last
Syfv ,EI~ lint cnYH00 ~
write.''
"Mebbe your lady would like to sec
the cooker" said the milc-rnannercd
man. "It's made of Senu~ine block
tin, and Bishop Dobsor himself said:
Hicks, 1 congratulate you on the quail
ity of your tim"
~ have no wife, said the rector.
with the mcrest suspicion of a blush.
''Thcn buy a cooker and git one" said
the mild-manneredm man. confidcntial1y.
''With Hicks paytent cooker as an
argumint, you will git one easy. They
come in three sizes-sEnau, mejum and
large. This here is the small one.
Folds all up, you see, like a telescope.
Mebbe you wouldn't believe it, but one
of them small-sizcd cookers saved my
1ifo once. 1t was in the spring of 1858.
the fall of 1852, Or the winter OF
1854, I don't remember which and 1t
don't make no difference, that Rev. Dr.
James Wi1yunas, u. D., and took pas
sage for AfricIky in the brig Thomas J.
Walkup, goin' as missionaries to some
of the numerous cannibal tribes that
keeps down the population, and consc-
quently accounts for the depressed
values of real estate in the Dark Con-
tinent. Rev. DIR. Wilyulns was to teach
the savages religion, but my mission
was a more important one. / was to
introduce Hicks paytent cooker among
'em. You can see that even this large
nothin' of the mejurn and small
ones. Now I calc ula ted to teach the saw
ages to use my cookers, and when they
got SO attached to 'cIn as to never eat
nothin' except what was cooked IN
cookc--scein' that you couldn't cook n
man in 'en-can n ibalism would natur-
ally die out. When I preached my plan
to Bishop Dobson his eyes shone and he
said: Go, Hicks, go. Your work will
supplement the work of Rev. DR.. Will
gums. I heartily commend your plan,
and congratulate you on the quality
went.
''Well, sir, the r1ornin' after I ar
rived in Africlzy began to talk to the
chief about my cooker, when what
does he do but take me down to the
lcadin' grocery store of the town and
show me Rev. DR.. Wiyums chained up.
Can you cook him?' axed the chief.
with surprise at the turn affairs had
took.
Sc WELL said the old chief, 'them's
the kind of victuals we eats. We don't
consume much in the way of breakfast
foods, infants foods and the like. If
your cooker can't cook our style of pro-
visions we amt got any use for it.
"And with that they put me in their
Jail, and that was the last 1 ever seen
or heerd OF Rev. DR.. James Wilyums,
d. D. They would have ct me at once,
but the chiefs daughter, Ugogina. fell
in love with me, and made EN- put off
the obscquies or festivities, according
as you looked at it from my stand
point or the savages'. l talked nice to
Ugogina, and got her to bring me my
small-sized cooker, the only one the old
witch doctor what kept the cookers
would let her have; and with that I
cooked them savages the finest kinds OF
victuals they ever ct, and they set me free
and made me royal cook, and the chief
kinder smiled indulgently at the way
Ugogina was maxim up to me. So you
sec the small-sized cooker saved my
life"
..I'll buy the small sizc," said the
rector. hastily. IT have a sermon to
WRITE
NOW you just take my advice and
git q mcjun size. You can a ford it.
When Won take that Small-sized cooker