Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-05-18
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
iNGS HERE AND THERE.
Foxes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Ha7ye Been Recently Born-Sayings ana
Doings that Arc Odd, Curious and
Laughab BILE.
Let Us Laugh.

SOME peoples eyes are a regular
pair of stares. Rochester Democrat
A MAN with a million can't very
we'll help being a capital fellow
Troy Press.
A BooTLEss ATTEMPT. To get up
stairs without being heard by your
wife.-Texas Siftings.
THE man who was dissatisfied with
the menagerie said it was beastly
affair. Leader.
IT wasn't until woman started in
to improve her mathematics that
she began to count for much. Troy
Press
The assertion that woman CAN'T
keep secret is disproyen by the way
spinster holds her age. Boston
| Courier.
| JAGsoN says if most mems con-
sciences should talk out loud they
would be sued for SANDER. -Elmira
Gazette.
DOT Jagged 6, on conclusion Of song
by celebrated tenor)-"Papa, did that
man make all that noise on purpose"
-Tid-Bits.
THE sawmill sometimes impresses
the operator which the fact that it mas
an "off-hand" way of doing things
Boston Courier.
WHEN two people get mad at each
other, each begins to think Of how
much he has done for the other -
Atchison Globe.
DAsHAwAY Il have just been up in
the mountains for a little shooting.
Cleverton-Any luck? Dashaway-
One guide. Life.
"WAs the charity ball success?"
ooh, my, yes. Our deficit was only
$40, and the Charity Society will have
to pay it. "-Brooklyn Life.
"YoU must have perseverance,
said the young physicians friend.
No." was the reply, what / want is
patients. Washington Star.
con, mamma" said little Ethel
the first time she saw Chinaman,
"look at the gentleman with his eyes
cut bias. Washington Star.
TOURIST understand they raise
pretty nearly everything in this
county, Farmer Everything but
mortgages, pardner. Buffalo Express
Il DON'T loike ownin' me own
home," said Pat, after year of pro-
prietorship. at takes all the fun
out of not payin' rint.-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
A FARMER who wished to enter
some animals at an agricultural ex-
hibition, wrote as follows to the
secretary: Enter me for jackass"
lid Bits.
IT doesn't do to be too careful.
The man who bit a quarter and
found that it was bad, left it in such
shape that he couldn't pass it any,
where.-Puck.
FROM LAST WILL.-"My faithful
servant Johann is to receive 1000
empty wine bottles, the contents Of
which he drank during my lifetime, %
-Fliegende Blaetter.
WHAT is the name of that ex-
Queen of Hawaii never can re-
member it?" asked one Philadelphia
of another. "Liliokawanamaker,"
said the other.-Truth.
AGNEs-Why don't you break the.
engagement if he is so disagreeable
to you? Mamie-Well. you see, he's,
given me hardly any presents as yet.
Atlanta Constitution.
THE process of trying to get an Of
flee is very simple. First, the ap-
plicants file their applications; then
the party in authority polishes them
Off Philadelphia Times.
| FrTz-What does r. S. V. P. stand
for? Maxwell, to judge by the
conduct of some society people, !
should say it means Rush in, Shake
hands, Victual up, and Put!-Puck.
BAGLEIGH-It's my opinion that
Brown hasn't half the brains he
thinks he has. Wagleigh-ProDably
not, but did you ever think how nice
ly he could get along with even less
than that.-Detroit Tribune.
AN undertaken in Union, Tenn,
recently used his hearse in pursuing
his daughter, who had eloped with
his assistant. Could the undertaken
oyertaker is problem left unsolyed
by the accounts. = Philadelphia
Ledger.
FAIR CLIENT want to get q
divorce from my husband" Chicago
Attorney-"On what grounds" Fair
Client-"Well, we were married.
Chicago Attorney-"That's all that
is necessary. I'll send you the decree
C. O. D."-Puck.
Mrs. FrrTs-"You write such short
letters when you are away. don't
see why you couldn't write me nice
J.. 4
engaged" Mr. Fitts--"H Honestly, my
| dear, I didn't suppose you would have
any time to read them. In the days
when we were engaged you had no
housework to do. "-Indianapolis