The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1893-06-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A Jack of all trades-The Western
burro.
About the most trying loop-hole OF
the law is the moose. Puck.
The wellbred man who works in n
bakery is loafer. Troy Telegram
1t is the thunder of the man in need
i}'ntrrr-r r,iu,t,i,--I.-- Ll---:u--t
When man sees thmt he is heine
driven to despair lie ought to get out and
walk. k.-Yonkers Gazette.
BY all odds the finest attraction ut
the Worlds Fair will be the American
girl. rl.-Baltimore American.
knowledge is power. except in tho
case of the man who knows he is
whipped. indianapolis journal.
Pluck will tell. Many n man not
able to write his own name has made
his mark in the world. New Orleans
Picayune.
Hicks" "Blitson, they tell me, is
quite an athlete" Wicks-"Ycs; his
last feat, | hear was to run up Il board
bill. Boston Transcript.
'That Smith girl has cast an awful
spell over Charlie, He" 81 SUD.
pose SO; she was typewriter for sew.
eral years. Inter Ocean.
1t seems easy enough to name n
baby, unless by some extraordinary
chance the baby happens to be your
own. Somerville journal.
1t is impossible that there are as
good fish in the sea as ever were caught,
if the kodack pictures that fishermen
bring home are true to life. Puck
Drusilla-'I hear you are poor. I
think we will have to break our rcia.
tions." Ten Broke-"I have broken
all of mine already" Now York Her.
aid.
Milkmen (apologctically) - 'The
milk is little blue this morning."
Mrs. Housekeeper-'It must be think.
ing how everlastingly poor it is get
ting. Troy Press.
Jinks-''Don't You think that tho
intentions of French duellists are mora
honorable than is generally con-
ceded?' Filkins-"Oh, yes; rs q rulo
they aim high. Brooklyn Life.
"Oh, I'm 80 sorry, Mr.. Dillingham;.
yo"h bu't.D iONo tIlTOWn Won over.
What was the trouble?" "why, you
see, L fiattered her so much she got too
proud to speak to me !"-Boston Bea.
con.
Gabble-''No, my cold doesn't seem
to be getting any better. 1 have got
so now that 1 can hardly speak. {"
Stillman-''Some people would call
that a great Improvement. Boston
Transcript
The fears n girl experiences when
she sees some other girl talking to her
lover are nothing compared to the
pangs that torture n woman when n
neighbor calls her hired girl to the
fence and talks to her.-Atchison
Globe.
"Did You know that Flagdon found
himself locked out when he went home
at o'clock last night, and his wife
wouldn't open the door. % s'Why %,
She didn't recognize his voice, because
she had always done all the talking"
Chicago Inter- Ocean.
Butler "There's man below to SEQ
you, SIR" Mayberry-"Wha did Won
tell him?" Butler-'I told him you
told me if it was lady to say you
were in, and if it was man to saw Won
were out" Mayberry--"What did he
say then?" Butler-"He said to tell
you he was lady. Harvard Lam
poon.
Mr.. Sampson (passionately)-'Ilo love
you devotedly, Miss Chumley, but my
pecuniary affairs have prevented my
making declaration until now. But
[ have put enough away now to feel
justified in asking you to become my
wife" Miss Chumley (hesitatingly,
but sweetly)-'I confess that am not
wholly Indifferent to you, bnt-but-"
"But what, dear?" would you mind
telling me how much you bave put
AWAY Pitt Bits,