Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-12-08
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.

MEN OF THE PRESS.
CoDjugal Happiness That Sign o
HOnor-She Was Superseded-Natur
ally, ETC., Etc
CoNJUGATE HAPPINESS.
The Husband during the spat)-
You're always making bargains! Wa
there ever time when you didn't9
The Wife-Yes, sir. On my wedding
day.--[Chicago Record.
THAT SIGN OF HONOR.
| The Tailor Surely, you don't mean
that you want this coat made with 0
great hump of wadding in the back
Why, you'll look like hunch- back!'
The Customer-Hush! Pm a member
OF the Young Mans Bicycle Society and
and I'm a candidate for the presidency
OF it.-[Chicago Record.
SHE WAS SUPERSEDED.
Mr.: Huggins-Is Miss Fosdick still
president OF your Society for the Sup
preston of Slang Miss Skidds3
Miss Skidds-No; she got too fresh
and we turned her down.-[Judge.
NATURALLY.
Harry-I always follow tho advice OF
Chesterfield and choose the company of
my superiors.
Georgc-But, my dear fellow, how
could you do otherwisc?-[ Boston Tran
script
FURTHER PARTICULARS UNNECESSARY.
Father-And he wants you to be his
wifc2
Daughtcr-Yes.
Father-Wcll, I suppose you know
something about lis character, his con-
dltlon and prospects. Tell me what you
know about him.
Daughter-W Well, in the first place, he
has plenty of money, and
Father--H'm! Plenty of money? I
think, Jennie, it is unnecessary to enter
into further particulars. Arrange the
matter between yourselves. Bless you.
my child, bless you!-[New York Press.
INHUMAN TREATMENT.
'"They say Wilkins abuses his wife
shamefully."
1.-The deuce he does! Why, he doesn't
appear to be brutal fellow at all. What
does he do beat herr"
ooh, no." He waits until after they
get seated in the theatre and then tells
her that her hat isn't on straight. Ode
troit Tribune.
MISGUIDED OBEDIENCE.
Parvaynoo. She told me that her dia-
mond brooch cost $4,000, but begged
me not to tell anyone"
"Ah, | see. Aud you told"
mo. didn't."-[Chicago Record.
EXHIBIT NO. l..
"Hullo, Rogerson. How are youY"
"First rate"
Intend to have anything on exhibit
ton at the Horse Show this year?"
Yes. My wife and daughters. ~
Vogue.
AT THE THEATER
Noodle-,1 find it very hard to collect
my thoughts.
Maud-Papa says it's always difficult
to recover small amounts Truth.
HOW THOSE GIRLS LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
Minnie-Oh, dear! I feel about fifty
years old to-day.
jennie Why, didn't know this
was your birthday, Minnie.
SIGN OF THE THREE BALLS.
Now the frost is on the pumpkin
And the corn 10 in tIn
And we're hustling pretty lively
For our listers in the hook.
-lChicago Dispatch.
HIS 'HoMER."
Mamma Severely to cight-year-old-
How did it happen that you were late for
school this morning?
Eight year old--Wcll, had to come
back after l got started, cause forgot
my Homer
General chorus Homer!
Mamma-Child, what do you mean by |
your Homer?
Eight-year-ol (unconcernedly)--Wh
the lessons l do at home call 'homers."
OF course. - Buffalo Courier.
WHERE THE COURAGE LIES.
.Spectator-Doesn't it require a deal
OF courage to go up in a balloon9 |
Aeronaut-Not bit. ma'am. It's the
coming down in it.-[Boston Transcript.
FoREGoNE CONCLUSION.
Prof. Pott.rby-The body of the (
frog, gentlemen, is composed almost 4
wholly of water.
Misunderstanding water Indian
apolis Journal. 4
LACKING IN FIRST PRINCIPLES.
Percival-Father, l don't want to 90
to that college. It's poor concern.
Ills Father-Poor, my son? 1t is nm
Did, wealthy and famous institution that.
numbers among its graduates some off
Inc most noted men in the land. Whatal
possible objection can YOU have AGAINST