Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-14
Sprinkles of Spice.

"A Budget of Fun.
Sprinkles of Spice.
"DowN is up, said the feather mer-
chant. County Standard.
WHEN money gets tight it gener-
ally goes to the up.-Galveston
News.
A WARM WEATHER VERSION
Drink to me with thine ice. Boston
Transcript.
A MAN who bears no one malice
regards it as sort of weakness. -
AtchisoD Globe.
JAGsON says the greatest scenter-
piece for the table is a slice of linn
burger. -Elmira Gazette.
In all the reduction of pay now 60
ing on the wages of sin remain the
same.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
IN the matter of hair-dressing why
shouldn't we take the queue from
the Chinese? Courier.
IT is certainly cruel for the lynch
ing party to keep the victim in sus-
pense.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
WALTER BEsANT calls us a nation
of slammers. Oh, no! It's the
Turks who Slam. Boston Herald.
"THE question which confronts US,
howled the orator, lis how to con-
front the question. "-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
MRS. BRIDIE-Did you taste any
of that pudding / made for dinner?
Mr. Bridie-Yes; / tasted it for six
hours Puck.
WORCESTERSHIRE, here is a dose OF
oil. Come take it like a man.
Willie - All right. Where's the
whisky?-Puck.
DEBToR-Don't get scared, the ac-
count will be paid in time. Creditor
That's what I'm afraid of.-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
AN auctiOneer, even if he does not
like his occupation himself, wants to
have other people follow his calling.
Rochester Democrat.
SOME people haven't any more
sense with their schemes than the
hen that takes day off while set
ting. Atchison Globe.
"SoLED out" he murm ured to him
self, as the father of his best girl
gave him a lift at 2 o'clock in the
morning burlington Press.
HOPS in upper New York will aver
age only half a crop. It's been the
same way all summer at the sea-
shore hote' S. Philadelphia Ledger.
THE laundry girls of to-day think
their lot hard one, but it was in
the days of Queen Elizabeth that
they really had a ruff time Of it
Troy Press
WHATEVER the state of the coun-
try since the coming Of the new
comet, the astronomers business at
least has been looking up.-Philadel
phia Times.
Mrs. YOUNGQUACK-You are sc
persevering and hopeful, dearl You
remind me of Patience sitting on
monument. DR.. Youngquack-I feel
blue enough to remind you of the
monuments sitting on my patient is. -
Puck.
MIR. SPIKER lin search of bolrd-
ing house)-There is no limit to the
diet, | presume, madam? Boarding
housekeeper (proudly)-No limit,
sir. During last year FIVE of my
boarders died from over eating
Tit Bits.
ST.. PETER-What did you do or
earth? SPIRIT wrote the poetry
advertisements for the elevated roads.
st. Peter-We don't want you here.
You had better try the other place:
Spirit did, but they wouldn't let
me in.--Judge.
"WELL, Mollie," said her papa,
who is a militia colonel, did you see
me marching up Broadway to-day?'
"Yeth, said Mollie, land | was real
mad, papa. They might have let
you have drum to play on like those
others had.-Harper Bazaar"
RANDOM Observation-Disclosures me,
but what are you putting down in
your note book? Worlds Fair Wis
itor-Oh, I'm just putting down the
things that have made an indelible
impression upon my memory SO that
| won't forget them.-Chicago Rec
ord.
"HANK1NsoN," said Jingleberry,
"were you ever in love?" "Once," re-
piled Hankinson, "and the object OF
my affection was the finest creature
in the world" "And was it recip-
rocated?" Fully" And yet you
never married." mo; I couldn't"
"Why not?" "A man cannot marry
himself "-Harper's Bazaar.
A JUDGE, in crossing the Irish
Channel one stormy night, knocked
against well-known witty lawyer
who was suffering terribly from sea
sickness. Can / do anything Tor
you?" said the Judge. Yes, = gasped
the seasick lawyer, Il wish your
would oyerrule this mo
ion."-White Mountaineer.