The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-10-28
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS by FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Ought to SufIer-No Change I'm the
Name Circumstances Alter Cases
Natural sight, Etc, Etc.

Natural Sight, Etc, Etc.
OUGHT TO SUFFER.
Barher-DOes the razAr feel sirl
Patron (groaning)-Umph! | hope il
does. IL deserves to- Chicago Rec
ord
40 CHANGE ~ THE NAME.
Scene on the deck Of mail steamer al
sea Ksthetic Passenger (to Old Salt
Can you tell me, my good man, the
name OF that fine bird lowering aboutl
Old Salt-That's halbatross, sir.
AZ. P.-Dear me! quite rara avis, is
il not?
o. S.-Dunno, sir. I've always heerd
il called halbatrOss.
II. P.-Yes, yes, my good fellow, but
] call that rara avis just as call you Il
genus homo.
o. s. GndignantlyJ-Oh, do your
! Then | calls that halbatross, just the
same as calls you blooming humbug
-ITitBits.
CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER CASES.
At the Hospital. The physician on
! duty approached a bcd and felt the pulse
of one Of the patients "Ah!" he ex-
/ claimed, she is much better than he was
! yesterday"
THAT is true" answered the nurse,
"but it isn't the same patient; the other
man is dead and this one has taken his
place"
"Ah! that alters the case. Well, never
mind, go on with the same treatment. u
| La Moda.
NATURAL LIGHT.
Shingiss IIOw's trade, Dinwiddie?
Dinwiddie-Light; decidedly light.
Shingiss with malice aforethought)-
But thought you were in the heavy cast e
ing business.
Dinwiddie-No; quit that two months
ago. Pm in the feather trade now
LPittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
TRICK or THE TRADE.
Newsboy "a novice - Extry special !!
Collision of two men-of-warl Four hun
drcd killed.
Bigger Newsboy What an ass you
are If YOU 90 and tell folks all about il,
nobody will want to buy the paper. Let
me show you what you've got to shout /;
this is it:-"Extra special Aw, aw =
oh, oh! -wah, wah WOW l-ho !.-wah,
wah, wah !-hoyW- Iur Erheiterung.
SHE WAS BOUND TO SAVE IT.
1t was the highly cultivated girls first
effort at baking.
"Dear mew she said; "there must be
something wrong with that loaf of
bread"
II think" replied her mother, gently,
"that you had better throw it away"
Throw away the first bread ever
bakedT
eyes; most Of us have to, you know"
"Nevcr! | know what I'll do. I'll
put some cuneiiorm Inscriptions on it
and send it to the seminary museum"
Il Washington Star.
HUNTING EPISODE.
"Gee Whitaker, Nimrod You've
shot your dog"
Thank goodness I've succeeded in
hitting something at last. - Truth.
DoUBLY DIsTRRssFUL.
His borrowing has caused loss
TO him as well as me;
For have lost the money loaned,
And he his memory. Puck.
PLACING A LIMIT.
"Wil you love me forever2" she queried,
Forever, dear, sir, and "A dayp
ayes, indeed, " he with fervor, responded,
''At any rate-er-for day"
Il Kansas City Journal.
MATTER OF DOUBT.
Mr.. F.-Your former servant girl
wants me to hire her. is she honest and
reliableI
Dressmaker-I can't say. have sent
her to you with your bill five or six
times, but she has never brought ne
back my money. i Texas Siftings.
WHY Sorl
Bobby-Pa, do they call young
eagle an eagletl
Pa-Yes, Bobby
Bobby-1hen suppose a little bull
is bullet -lJudge,
AN UNBLusHrNG CONFESSION.
held her hand, her little hand,
So soft, and small, aud white,
l pressed it often TO my lips,
And clasped its fingers tight,
That loving clasp my love declared,
And | was not ashamed
To own loved her, for who could
For loving her be blamedl
She let her hand, her little hand,
Rest lovingly in mine,
My tender pressures she returned,
Like tendrils of vine,
Her little fingers clasped mine close,
And her affection told.
And why not! She's my daughter, and
To day she's four years old.
- Somerville Journal.
NO ESCAPE.
| dreamt dwclt In marble halls;
felt at case, with life content,
Till fancy brought the landlords call;
lie came, alas to get the rent.
II Buffalo Courier.
NICE DISTINCTION.