Iuka reporter. (Iuka, Miss.) 1888-1894, 1893-05-04

Jumpuppe--Yes, but when man
steps on banana peel we'll balanced
body is what he yearns sr.-lNew York
Herald
GREAT SECRET
''You get youah clothes in deah old
Lunnon too, see,' said Goslin to Cod
ling.
''If you'll pwomise not to tell, old fell
law, I'll tell you secwet."
''Ill pwomise."
81 get them in Bwooklyn. know
place there which gives you as bad fit
as you can get in Lunnon. p Harper's
Bazaar.
ACQUIRED WISDOM.
Mrs. Spatts Geproachfullg) = You
loved me, Henry, when we were mar
ried
Mr.. Spatts Well, we lte to learn
Do you think man isn't likely to grow
wiser in seven years9-[ Chicago Record.
IGNORANCE IN THE KITNHEN.
Husband Why did you discharge the
cook?
Young Housewives told her to make
few sweetbreads and she hadn't the
least idea how to do it.
AN APT STUDENT.
Caller lat law ofiice)-Is Mr.. Jackson
in
Office-boy learning the business
Well, sir, he went out when l was out,
and / wasn't here when he returned, SO
l don't know whether he's in or not
PARADoxICAL.
"Charley's trying very hard to win
your affections. y
:. Yes, he's man after my own heart
But | won't have him" :. 1Chicags
Record
sCIENCE ON SUMMER syIeHT.
She-There is wonderful fascination
about the stars; don't you think 500
He-Indeed there is.
She-Pve forgotten most of my astron
omy, though. That, believe, is Venus
but where is Adonisa-[ Chicago Record.
TOO GOOD FOR BOY.
Johnnie-Say, Tommis, do you ever
eet licked by tie teachera
Tomnie with PRIDE -<,No, I don't.
Johnnie with contempt) = Aw, you
must be girl. -[Detroit Free Press.
800 COLD.
''Smithers doesn't go much in society
nowadays thought he made quite
Gunge iutS the swim9"
HE did; bot he found the water
rather c0ldH-[ Harper's Bazaar
EXPLAINED.
Mrs. Grower Now, Grocer, you have
charged me for things I've never had.
What do you mean by such items as one
handful Of raisins, one pocketful of
almonds, two mouthfuls of brown sugar
-ehl
Grocer-It means, Mrs. Growler that
ladies' what will bring their children with
hem when they do their marketin' has
got to pay for all they gets. Il Harper's
1akar
RUN OF HARD LUCK.
Jack--Pve had nothing but hard luck
4sday. Now, suppose if l were to pro-
bse to you, you would
Priscilla-Accept.
Jack-Just what expected. --(Vogue.
SPECIAL GIFT
Ida Ashcat-I'm just crazy over Pa
htte's pictures.
COMFY Seur-I don't know what you
- in them; think they are execrabLe.
Ida Ashcat-But he does pick out the
sweetest names for them.
DILEMMA.
swell, Ralph, do you have many play
mates2'
'sNaw; don't have any,"
"What, no playmates at ala"
"No; mamma won't let me play with
about half the boys, and the other boys
mammas won't let them play with me.
Say, would you reform or just get
toughers'
HOME sBrscIrLISR.
Peter Pawling, sr.-0ut after hours
again, eh!
Peter Pawling, jr.-Only ten minutes
late.
Peter Pawling, sr.-Go at once to your
room, sir, lock yourself in and bring me
the key. This thoughtlessncss must be
checked. -lVogue.
GOOD REASON.
1t was not nebby line of samples the
old Cincinnati drummer carried; Just
modest assortment, suitable to the hum
bier class of buyers and the men who do not
put on style. And when the spruce, dan
dified Louisville drummer passed the
side counter where the plain, unpreten-
tious goods were displayed, he turned
contemptuously aside, looked at them
with sneer, not recognizing in the
white-haired stranger the salesman trav-
cling with the aforesaid head-gear and
said
IF couldn't carry tirst-class line of
samples / would carry none at ALL"
Quick as flash the white haired stran-
ger turned, and "You are right, SIR"
said he; 'you are right"
The drummer from Louisville turned a
little superciliously around in the pride
Of his new spring suit and metropolitan
polish.
''Think soa" said he, patronizingly.
Eyes, replied the stranger, as he