Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1893-05-25
THE OLD SETTLER.
Snakes and the Great Sugar
Swamp Snake Bite Cure.


New York Sun.
aGreat spooks!" exclaimed the
Squire, looking up from the paper
he was reading and keeping his
finger on the place. "Twenty
thousand! Wat do ye think O.
that, Major2 Twenty thousan'
folks dyin' from snakes in one
yearl"
ssW'at do I think on it'll" said the
Old Settler. aWull, I think them
folks must 'a'took their applejack
. pooty durn new, b'gosh, an leetle
too often!''
aApplejack!n said the Squire,
glaring at the Old Settler. "Apple-
:jack hain't got nuthin' to do with
it! These folks was bit"
"Bit, was they?" responded the
Old Settler. "Wull, tina hain't
nuthin' that kin bite wuss thin
new applejack, Squire. I've know'd
it to be sharper'n a sarpent's tooth.
But who were tellin' We 'bout all
them folks dyin' from snake bites?
That's good many folks, Squire.
Ye orter be leetle keerful of yer
fggers when ye set out to peddle
facts"
aWhy, consarn It'll" exclaimed
the Squire, "here it is, right here
in the paper! The paper says that
last years tina was twenty thousan'
folks died in Injy from snake
bites!"
SIN Injy, hay?" said the Old
Settler. @Why, I didn't hev no
kind an idee that the sarpent had
got ez much of a foothold Oh Injy's
coral strand ez all that! Humph |!
1 must tell M'riar 'bout that, an
tha1l be a special meetin' of the
Clothers O. Them that's Naked an
Feeders O. Them that Hnngers
called to look inter it. This here
won't never do! M'riar must call
a meetin' of the Clothers an Feed
ers, and the sistern must line the
mex cargo O red flannel shirts an
secon'-han' pants with leather. |
ben spectin' they was a little too
thin to perfect them heathens on
Iniy's coral strand. An wat is
the news from Green1an-s ICY
mountains, Squire? How many
folks is missin', long O. snakes, up
there? An does Afric's sunny
fountains send in any returns?
Gosh-t'lmightyl This'll make
trouble fer my yaller-leg chickens
ag'in, wen this news gifts around,
fer the Clothers and Feeders alluz
stays to supper. Watts the returns
from Afric's sunny fountains,
Squirrel"
The Squire folded up his paper,
put it in his pocket, and gave the
Old Settler withering look, but
said nothing. This was plainly
disappointing to the Old Settler,
tut after a while he resumed the
subject.
"Twenty thousand, hay?" said
he. "I wisht know'd the direc-
tions O. some leadin' heather over
there, an I'd send him a letter
tellin' him bout the never-failin'
Sugar-swamp cure fer snake
p'ison, an tina wouldn't be no use
O. snakes bitin' anybody in that
pleasin' kentry any more, fer
they'd only waste their p'ison. If
anything ever were cortion to
snakes, that Sugar Swamp p'ison
cure were! Gosht'lmighty, how it
could draw! An that we're jist
the trouble with it. 1t bad 30
much heft to its drawin' powers
that the danger were that if it got
it's hooks onter a feller that had
snake p'ison in him it were liable
to kill him while it were curin'
him. Pervidin', O. course, that
We want keerful Ill usin' on it.
The ingrejints o that Sugar Swamp
snake p'ison cure is a secret ez
nobody kin ever hev outside of>our
family. The prescription were
thunk up by an ancestor o mine
who kim inter Sugar Swamp wen
things was skeerce, everything
but bar an snakes. Tha want
but two bar'l of apple juice in the
hull settlement wen this ANCESTOR
O. mine sot down there, an folks
was comm in ev'ry day all bit up
by snakes, an consekently havin'
to be filled up with that juice in
a way that were alarmln', that be-
in the only snake p'ison cure ez