The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-01-10
DUNDER DISTURBED.
He Can't Always Make Out His Boy
lake.

UL4OC Co OOO1Oty Oh LIZ OUOSO-SA
to find the fat police sergeant chewing
a Michigan tooth-pick and reading a
newspaper prediction that this will be
the coolest winter for the past ten
years.
about Jake, ehG" queried the ser
geant in reply.
Yes. You know Shake. He vhas
seexteen years old poorly queek und
awful shmart. He vhas a good poy,
but I can't make him sometimes oudt.
One day l hears him shpeakin nit q
poy, und he says: 'Doan' you be
afraidt! Some flies doan' roost on mel!
Sergeant, vhas dot Americana"
q think it is"
dots What Shake said. He said it
meant dot he shump aroundt SO lifely
dot no fly can shtay on him. How
does it hurt you if some flies roost or
you? l see flies on you, but you doan'
shump aroundt, und Shake, he vhas so
fat he can't be lifely. Can you explain
her to me2"
why, understand it to mean that
a person is sharp and shrewd."
oh! Vhell a few days ago Sh AXE
he calls me 'guf'ner.' I took him by
der collar poorly geek, but be explains:
Dot vhas all right, fadder-dot vhas
der American way of it. If we vhas
going to lif' in America we must do
like odder folks. In Shermany you
vhas ladder in dis country you vhas
'guf'ner.' How Was dot, ~sergeant7"
II don't allow my boys to call me
governer2"
"Eh9 I see! Und two deterrent
times he says he vhas no clothespin or
spring chicken. How could any poy
be some clothespins or hens? 1t doan'
seem possible to me but I like to ask
you"
Il think Jake has fallen into the use
of slang terms, like many other boys.
Did you ever hear him say he was up
to snuff
Il hat, two Or three times, und it
makes me full Of troubles. Idoan' like
OL1dAO W I1bNO jill I'LL - LIS CSC'
Did you ever happen to hear him
remark thathe tumbled to the racket"
"Only two or three days ago he
said dot. I doan' see him fall down,
und l doan' hear no racket, und I can't
make it oudt."
did you ever hear him tell any one
to cheese it,
"Vhy, he tells me dot last week
when 1 say he must be home by 8
o'clock in der eafenings! I hat some
Limburger sheese on &c counter, und 1
belief he means dot"
perhaps he did!" dryIy observed
the sergeant. what does he call
money!"
"Vhell, he calls it sugar. 'ducats, ,
cases. wealth. scrap iron,' 'needful,
'rhino,' und so like dot"
q see. I suppose he tells of some
body talking through his hat, cha"
Sergeant, he shpeaks dot very way
to me only last night when [ blows
him o aboudt spending so mooch
mooney"
1T made him tired, didn't it?7
DOTS What he said-it made him
tired to hear me talk through der top
of my hat. How vhas it ~sergeant2"
"Well, I think Jake is getting a
little too fresh for a boy of his age"
But only last night he tells me he
vhas all salt! I doan' like to shpeak
aboudt my own poy, you see, but
maybe you can tell me how 1 shall dot
Do you think he should keep onF"
eff he was my boy l should stop him
right where he is"
"Um! It vhas my dutyf'
l think So"
"Und it vhas good for Shake!"
"First rate. Are you gOing?"
Sergeant, eoodby! l hat some
peesness at my place dot [ must at
tend to right off queek! When [ get
home my son Shake Will hat his hat
on his a und be walking aroundt as
if he owns dot earth. I shall beckon
NIT my finger like dis und say:
"'Shake, like to see you In der barn
| aboudt two minutes!
"'AIl right, guf'ner-how Vhas 1tF
"'Vhell. it vhas ~clothespins Und
sugar und hats und spring chickens
und scrap iron und rackets all mixed
oop, und I guess we go oudt und cheese
some snuff und make US tired9"
Il understand" smiled the sergeant.
"Und so Will Shake, und if some
| flies doan' roost on him to morrow it
vhas because no flies can find him"
Do you owe this paper ~anythingi II
you do send at once. We have waited