Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1893-10-05
GENERAL.

-Exactly.-First Tramp-"How do
you feel?'' Second Tramp-''Bum.''-
Truth
More than four-ifths of the muir
ders in the United States last year
were by men who had no regular occu-
patton.
-Z.-"I am told you and Fanny are
now married and happy" Yves,
that is to say. she is happy and l am
married. '-Demorest's
Mr.. Younghusband-"T is capt.
tai soup, my dear" Mrs. Younghus-
band-"Dear, dear. how can you eat
your pie first?''-Inter-Ocean
"A Lesson in Manners.-Chappie-
eff YOU want to have an air of distinc-
tion, you must look a little tired"
Minnie-"Oh, that's easy while I'm
with you."-Yankee Blade
The British government has entered
into an agreement with the Protestant
and Roman missions in Uganda, by
which the geographical limitations and
civil rights of each mission are clearly
defined. Each mission is entitled to a
representative in the courts, the ap-
pointment to be approved by the resi-
dent commissioner.
Help Wanted--Bank Cashier-'I
have ventured to call on you, sir, to
state that you have very small bal
ance in the bank, and in the hope that
you may be able to make rousing de-
posit." Senior Partner--Well, what if
we have? The account is not over
drawn, is it?'' Cashier-'Oh no. But 1
am going on my summer vacation to-
morrow. ''-Ciothier and Furnisher.
Among the Kaffirs the price of a
wife varies from five to thirty cows
The Damaras are more moderate. and
one COW is considered fair equivalent,
while goat will purchase wife
among some tribes But the cheapest
market appears to be Uganda. where a
father offered to bestow the hand of
his laughter upon a traveller for pair
of boots
The last newspaper letter written
by Mrs. Lucy H. Hooper, the CORE
spondent who recently died in Paris,
ended with a paragraph bidding good
by to her readers. and saying that be-
fore they would have seen 1T she would
have passed away. She foretold the
end clearly, for her death occurred two
davs after this was dated. For eighteen
wears Mrs. Hooper had never missed
her weekly letter to the Philadelphia
Telegraph.
Red shades produce highly-decora-
tive light, but are very bad FOR the eyes,
at least when reading or sewing. A
blue shade casts a cold, pallid light.
and makes even rosy cheeks turn ghast-
ly pale, as may readily be realized by
i~l
ny effects are desired in a theatrical
tableaux blue lights are throws upon
the scene.
Mrs Lynn Linton is not altogether
without hope for that mueh-abused il
stitution, London society, for she writes
in current magazine article that
though ''snobs and tuft-hunters have
elhowed and corkscrewed their way
into high places and millionaires with
out his are accepted as equals by the
blue blooded and high-nosed-even nosv
we have the self-respecting Remnant.
and the Remnant will have none of
these thugs and bow neither head nor
knee to BaaL"
What is your name, sir?' the
other evening inquired hotel clerk
of a guest who was asking about his
mail. '.Rouse'n lot," carelessly an
swered the man as he leaned against
the counter. But. sir, / want your
name in order to look up your mail"
said the clerk. Il don't want to know
ANYTHING about house and lot"
And am not telling you anything
about a house and lot" replied the
man rather warmly. "You asked me
a.,a and rave il It is H.o.w-s.o-n
Lott"