The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-08-05
POSTAL MEN VICTORS.
THEY DEFEAT THE WESTERN UNION
CLUB Nv THE RAIN.
Mr.. Peyton RszzIedsxzle Noel Umpired
the Contest, Which Was First Class,
Until Butt Began tho Pitching.

Observation-Disclosures p~eace-wii stretch
her wings from centre-field fence clear
up TO home plate hereafter. and serenity
Ike soft, untrodden snow on a Capitol
Square grass plot. There will be war no
more, and the bats will be beaten into
pio~ughshares and the catchers' maskers
into pruning hooks. An umpire has been
found, and no more will Mr.. Alphetus Nor
a or Mr.. Wellington Demothenes Phillips
be called upon TO appease the wrath of
the populace, and forget In their ardor
that at one time there figured in this vale
OF care y woe An individual referred 20
by historians as Annanias. The umpire
is no less an individual than Mir. peyton
Razzledazzle Noel, who. during his spare
time, preslfes with more or less dignity
over the troubles. perplexities and proof
sheets OF the city editors chair I'm the
office Of our evening contemporary. Pey-
ton Razzledazzle's friends know full well
that he can. with the aid Of a Faber and
a few scintillating thoughts. work out one
OF the most thrilling stories about an
ambulance call that was ever penned.
and they realize clearly thai he can CRAP
~ WIN AI ti1NAtC VI n IFllit 1DHNN
docket, and tell the unsuspecting reader
that there was a stray cow arrested the
night before. They know. too, that he can
give the correct range OF the thermometer
and before the edition rolls out he is apt
10 aid the statesmen In Washington with
a few IDEAS Of how TO run a Republican
Government. but his friends-his dearest
bosom friends-tbat have associated with
him from early morn until he changed the
ends Of his cuffs and went out to some
social function, never once realized that
he knew as much about baseball as the
average umpire knows about the inhabi-
tants Of Siam.
Mr.. Noel. however, being the only spec
tator At the game yesterday between the
Western Union and Postal clubs was re-
questcd TO a k his sweet young life I'm
jeopardy and umpire the game. He had
really gone over to the Chesterfield dia-
mond TO aid in truly benehcent manner
the efforts Of the Ice Mission, but when
he consented TO umpire his fifteen cents
were refunded to him.
The grounds were wet. The muddy
earth lay over the diamond and made the
held about as slippery as the p%roverbial
eel Tho Postal Sky Scrapers turned up
their trousers, transferred their coin TO
their inside pockets and waded in. They
found that Il was like Willing away life
at N-arrangansett Pier 10 defeat the Foul
Knockers from the Western Union office.
Mr.. James Gordon BENEFITS heart would
have bounded back and forth against his
internal improvements like a round ball
with an India rubber attachment could he
have seen his hard-worked n intelligent
employees mop up the mud with the at
taches of the Western Union Office. In
his delight he would have forgotten that
tho Wfnn IN Davfr ,.g.It .r.. .-.-l -
the northeast without his knowledge or
that the coach Comet might start with
out him being there to get a list Of the
passengers for he Herald the next morn
ing. Had he seen Paynter stop a hot
grOunder from Routt's bat he would nave
forgotten the voice Of the court beauty.
and had he seen little Eddie Hotz land
the sphere I'm left field he would have dis
charged a few more grovelling reporters
on the Herald and raised Edwards salary
30 1-3 per cent.
TIE Western Unions had the game cas-
@ly won up 10 the last half Of the fourth.
when Butt was put in the box. He then
gave an exhibition never equalled by
lusle. His outward curves were superb.
and, even with close examination. IL was
difficult TO determine whether he intend
ed the ball 20 go over right-feld fence or
the grand-stand netting.
The game ended with "a score Of II TO IL.
and the teams decided to play over again
next week.
Game This Afternoon.
The erUdite Spiders and the brawny
Colts win be eat home" at the Chester
field diamond between the hours Of ) and
Z o'clock this afternoon, and during tho
reception n menu consisting OF base-hits.
runs, stolen bases. and passed batls.
Will be served 10 those who attend. The
friends Of the eighteen hosts are invited.
and there is no necessity for the visitors
to wear their dress suits or have their
hair cut. An outing shirt with 4 four-ln-
hand. a straw hat with a shoe-strlng.
and a wad Of chewlng-gum IN one side
Of the jaw and n few other garments
are all that are necessary. and guests will
be allowed 10 exercise their vocal organs
on the slightest provocation. II favor
ties. instead Of throwing the ball 10 first,
send il over TO within speaking distance
of the small boys I'm the right field tree, the
guests are at perfect liberty TO take Off
their coats, waistcoats, neckties and hats,
and 20 down TO some corner of the field
and express themselves In language never
heard at 9 o'clock teas. and II those
same favorites hang the unfortunate
sphere 20 some remote corner Of centre
field. those same crank have full per-