Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-10-26


Capital Gossip
Washington, Oct. 19-President |
Cleveland received in his mail a letter
from an Ohio democrat 1t was short
and to the point
Dear SIR it read, will you please
send me list of your sinecure offices.
and obige,
When the president catches his
breath he will not answer the letter
but will paste it in his scrapboOk as
an example of Ohio simplicity, honesty
and righteousness
Buck kilgore, the Texas kicker. tells
the following story on himself: Il
just got back to town, and, as my
family was not with me, l thought |
would go to a clearinghouse till they
came. went to one, and a nice old
lady met me at the door l told her
that I wanted a room She took me
to one, and after I told her that it
suited me she asked me where I was
| from.
| 3" Texas, l replied.
''She went at once to the gaS-burner,
took hold of the stOp-cock and, suiting
! the action to the word, said: Now,
before you go to bed, you take hold
of this SO and turn it So
IT was somewhat amused; but |
told her that l would remember
t11't cl,n
apparently fearful that I had not
learned my lesson. You take hold so
and turn it So
Madam / said, I assure you you
need not worry; I fully understand how
to work the gas
Yes she replied. I know, but
have had so much trouble with people
from TEXAS blowing out the gas [ -
Madam L interrupted in order to
prove that 1 had not always lived in
the wilderness, I have lived for the
last eight months in Chicago
''She Strengthened herself up, moved
Il step back, looked at me severely
when l mentioned Chicago and in Il
cold, harsh tone said:
" Sir, would have you understand
that | am Il respectable woman trying
to earn an honest living and that
viii have no drinking, carousing or
gambling going on in my house. -
After the laugh Kilgore said to the
Chicago man present:
Pretty hard ON Chicago, eh?"
ooh, I don't know" the Chicago man
replied. Il would rather be taken for
a knave than 4 fool
Whereupon the Texan began to fill
buster
A NIisSOurian in the senate gallery
was trying to prove that Senator Cock
rell, who was talking to a lot of empty
seats, was not an idiotic nuisance.
why, that man has got BRAINS" he
said, lots of 'em. Why, let me tell
you, he has got so much brains he gets
other senators to introduce bills for
him and they are passed before any
one else knows they belong to him.
mats the very highest indica ton of
e.. -atesmanShip."
That's true" another man said.
There's only one man in the house
who does it, and that's Holman"
He has to do it," said the Missouri
an.
That's true" the other continued.
And that's why he does it. I remem-
Der last session Holman had been OBJ
jecting to the passage of at least one
bill for almost every member during
the suspension days. He knew that
he couldn't hope to get a bill of his
own through, but it happened that to-
ward the last of the session there was
Il bill he very much wanted to have
passed SO he got a friend to introduce
it for him, and afterward he said to
him:
Now, tomorrow will be suspension
day and you call UP the bill, ask that
the rules be suspended and pass it.
THE congressman did so, but just as
the rules were suspended Holman
bobbed up and in his customary way
squeaked out to his friend:
Eli, let me see, what is the bill
for?
Holman had not told his friend he
was going to do his old act, and the
latter was almost mad enough to give
him away; but instead he explained
the bill, whererpon Holman said:
oh, well, / guess that bill is all
right won't object and sat down.
This so astonished the other members
that everybody concluded at once that
if Holman approved of the bill it must
be all right, and the bill passed
unanimously.
The famous old red house where
Blaine died doesn't look as it did a
year ago. Then it was spic and span.
Its paint was fresh, its window panes
We're clear, the doorknObs bright as
FURNISHED gold, the blinds trim and
neat, the lawn closely moved and the
steps clean. Now it looks as if no one
had lived in it for years and only a
little while ago it held the great light
of the republican party. The paint on
the bricks and doors and fence has
peeled off in many places. The door
knobs and TEMPLATES are covered with
rust and cobwebs The shutters are
very dirty, some are half off the hinges, |
and here and there a half dozen brok- /
en- Stats reveal panes of glass too |
dirty to see through The steps are
e