St. Landry democrat., 1893-05-13
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JEST AND YARN BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.


a Hard Lot-A Matter Of Choice
Great Improvcmeut--A Fredicam mt
Etc, Etc.
"Goodness me, Johnny! Whit al;
you crying about now!'
"Causc Tommy dreamed about catin
pic last night and didn't. - Indianapo
lis Journal
A MATTER OF CHOICE.
"To think that my Ethel should have
spoken so impertinent to papa at dinner.
She never hears mamma talk that way tc
him.
Ethel (stoutly)-Well, but you chooscd
him and didn't.-iTit Bits.
A GREAT IMPROVEMENT.
Tailor--Checks see are not to be used
this Spring
Customer--Well. that suits me; al
ways liked credit far better Chicago
Inter Ocean.
A PREDICAMENT.
Jason--I'll be hanged if | know
whether it's safer to address that strange
lady as Miss" or MADAME.
Argo-Why, what difference will it
make?
Jason-Well, you see, if call her
""Madame' she'll think I think she looks
so old that she must be married. And
if I call her Miss" she'll think I've
spotted her US an old maid who couldn't
get married. -IChicago News Record.
A GOOD REASON.
Il wish was twin" said Bobbie.
"Why?" asked his father.
Then | could see how looked with
out d looking glass;" said Bobbie. -
[LIarper's Young People.
A NATURAL INFERENCE.
"What are the principal products of
the Sandwich Islands:'
Il am not sure, but should say bread,
ham and 1nustard.'
ACQUISITION NOT EASILY ANSWERED.
$50 she is going to marry him.
"Ies.'
Does she love him.
1T is impossible to tell. He is rich. "
MUCH TO LIVE FOR.
He loved her moro than tongue could
tell-at least more than his tongue could
tell-for he had been telling her OF it for
months, and is still at it seven nights
week. He was sweet and musical as
bright ApoIlo's Lutte, strung with his own
hair, and wien he spoke the voice Of all
the gods made heaven drowsy with the
harmony.
Naturally, under such circumstances,
the girl llkcd to listen. Yet she had
lived il Chicago SO many winters that
she had some doubts about love keeping
the cold out better than cloak and
serving for food and raiment. Splrcribs
and seaIski7s, she knew were more com
Portable from a practical standpoint.
Yet she loved to listen to this lovers
love. It's weakness women have even
in Chicago.
On this occasion lie had been talking
to her of his love and his hopes for the
future.
II have 50 much toiive for he whis-
rcrcd tenlcriy, rs he took her in his
great strong arms.
She looked up into his face trust
fully.
Il should say You did, George"
she said with charming naivete.
weighed 600 pounds TO-DAY on papas
hog scales
"Birdie,' he murmured, aud kissed
her. = Detroit Free Press
TIE SAD ELEVATOR Roy.
Old Lady-Don't YOU ever feel sick
going II, and down in this elevator all
day?
Elevator Boy-Yes'm.
Is it the motion of going down I"
"No'm.
1.-The motion Of going up ?
"No'm.
"The stopping Z"
"Nom.
"What is it then
The questions. - Good News.
SURE 10 FAIL.
Bilkins-Your friend Scribbler seems
to be always short of funds. If his books
lon't sell, why don't you try him at Office
work when YOU need a new man?
Boomer--No use. a man who can't
succeed as novelist hasn't imagination
enough for the real estate busine SIN.
Y. Weekly.
HONEST.
Hc-Don't you think you could love
he just little?
She (dccidcdly}--No I'm one Of those
mpulsive creatures who never do things |
~ halves. - New York Press
BIG BOON.
Mr. Gotham-How's business in your
cotton?
Western Friend--Booming, sir, just a
Why, sir, in Dugout City,
where live, they are opening up new
treets SO fast that the whole town is
own with diphtheria. IN. Y. Weekly |
AN AERIAL SUBURB.
Managcr-Mr. Skylight, I see YOU'RE
lte again this morning Have you moved
ut of town?
>kylight-Ycs, sir.
Manager-How far?
Skyiight The twenty first story, sir.
- Chicago lnter-Ocean.
FASHIONS FOE '93
Wife-Isnt it lovely? 1t was so de
ghtfully antique I could not resist the
to buy it.
Husband--Wcll, I'll be dinged Here