St. Paul daily globe., 1893-05-21
AN AGE OF FAMILIARITY.

This seems to be an age of familiarity.
Neither the gray hairs of age, the dis
tinction of achievement, nor the dignity
of position are sufficient to inspire for
one the respect of the people in the
ordinary walks of life that was felt and
extended between equals of any walk
fifty years ago. 1t is not an uncommon
thing to hear young men addressing old
men by their given names. Two men
are introduced, and in few moments Of
conservation are making remarks as
jokes upon each other which would
have been considered insults in the old
time.
The defenders of the familiarity of
the times justify the practice by the
assertion that 1t is democratic, and cite
the practice of the Quakers. is true
that the Quakers universally address
each other by the given name; but there
is very different tone to their manner
of dong so from that of other people.
When Quaker addresses another as
John" he does so with an air of re-
spect that bears no taint of undue
familiarity.
Another argument, used by the de-
tenders, is that our tendency to famil-
iarity is destructive to hero and fetch
worship; that it elevates the common
peopleto feeling of independence from
those who hold the higher positions of
life, and that the respect demanded by
the courtliness of old times was the bull
wark of monarchy and aristocracy.
There is little question but that the
royalty and nobility of Europe have
always required that those beneath
them shall pay courtly Difference as an
acknowledgment of inferiorty of ran k
and vassalage. But the courtliness
practiced in America from the landing
of the first colony up to about fifty years
ago was founded upon different the
ory.
1t was not considered undemocrati1 by
WASHINGTON, JEFFERSON, FRANKLIN
and the other great men Of those times
for all the people to maintain courtly
bearing toward each other; in fact, it
was looked upon as duty each owed
the other. There is nothing truer than
the maxim that familiarity breeds con-
tempt. 1t is true in every relation of
life, even to the marital. To maintain
the respect of another, one must main
tain certain dignity of bearing; he
need not be austere and distant: he NAV
be jolly and witty, but he must keep
within certain limits, and strictly avoid
anything resembling fippant and undue
familiarity. People of tact, and with a
due sense of the Importance of avoiding
famlliarities, converse. and even joke
| quite freely with their servants without
essening their respect for them one
| iota.
Eminent writer's assert that more
| than half of the cases of so-ealled sin
| compatibility" between husband an d
wife arise alone from the fact that they
have lost respect for each other through
too much familiarity. 1t is even more
important, they say, for husband and
wife to maintain a respectful dignity
| toward each other than for those not so
related. They are together al most con-
stantly, and liable to become surfeited
with each others attention unless each
manages to be interesting to the other;
and they cannot be so if the bars of dig
nifty are thrown entirely down. These
are the views of thinkers upon the sub
ject, and they certainly seem reasona-
BILE.
| Etiquette is quite generally consid