The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1893-08-14
CHAPTER XI.
HIS PA is "NIsHIATED."

DdNs dIt 1Ou ~ VI ~ 4NOultlloW
or anythingy" asked the bad boy of the
grocery man as he went 10 the cinnamon
bag on the shelf and took out long stick
Of cinnamon bark to chew.
"Why, yes, of course I am, but what
set you to thinking of thatY asked the
grocery man as he went to the desk and
charged the boys father with half a
pound Of cinnamon.
"Well, do the goats bunt when you
nishiate fresh candidate"
mo, of course not. The goats are
cheap ones, that have no life, and we
muzzle them and put pillows over their
heads so they can't hurt anybody" said
the grocery man as he winked at a broth
er Odd Fellow who was seated on sug-
ar barrel, looking mysterious. "But why
do you ask!'
'Oh. nothin, only wish me and my
chum had muzzled our goat with pill
low. Pa would have enjoyed his becom-
ing member of our lodge better. You
see, Pa had been telling US how much
good the Masons and Odd Fellows did
and said we ought to try and grow up
good so we could jine the lodges when
we got big, and asked Pa if it would do
my room and pretend to nishiate, and
Pa said it wouldn't do any hurt. He said
it would improve our minds and learn
rs to be men. So my chum and me bor-
ried a goat that lives in a livery stable.
Say, did you know they keep goat in a
livery stable SO the horses won't get sick?
They get used to the smell Of the goat,
and after that nothing can make them
sick but glue factory. wish my girl
boarded in livery stable. Then she
would get used to the smell.
81 went home with her from church
Sunday night, and the smell of the goat
on my clothes made her sick to her stum-
mick, and she acted just like an excur-
sion on the lake and said If / didn't go
and bury myself and take the smell out
of me she wouldn't never go with me
again. She was just as pale as a ghost,
and the PRECIPITATION on her lip was just
zif she had been hit by street sprinkler.
You see, my chum and me had to.carry
the goat up to my room when Pa and Ma
was out riding, and he blatted so we had
to tie q handkerchief around his nose,
and his feet made such q noise on the
floor that we put some baby's socks on
his feet. Gosh, how goat smells, don't
it? / should think you Masons must
have strong stummix. Why don't you
have skunk or mule for trademark?
Take mule and anoint it with linn
burg cheese. and you could nishiate and
make candidate smell just as bad as
with gosh darn mildewed goat.
"Well, my chum and me practiced
with that goat until he could bunt the
picture of goat every time. We bor-
ried buck beer sign from saloon man
and hung it on the back of chair, and
the goat would hit it every time. That
night Pa wanted to know what we were
doing up in my room, and l told him we
were playing lodge and improving our
minds, an4 Pa said that was right.
There was nothing that did boys of our
age half so much good as TO initiate men
and store by useful nollidge. Then my
chum asked Pa if he didn't want to come
up and take the grand bumper degree,
and Pa LATED and said he didn't care if
he did just to encourage us boys in inno-
cent pastime that was so improving TO
our intellex. We had shut the goat up
in closet in my room, and he had got
over blatting, so we took off the handker-
chief, and he was eating some of my pa
per collars and skate straps. We went
up stairs and told Pa TO come mp pretty
soon and give three distinct raps, and
when we asked him who comes there he
must say. "A pilgrim who wants to join
your ancient order and ride the goat
Ma wanted to come, up too, but we
told her If she come in it would break
up the lodge, cause q woman couldn't
keep q secret, and we didn't have any
side saddle for the goat Say, IL You
never tried it, the next time you nishiate
a man in your Mason's lodge you sprin.
kle little kyan pepper on the goats
beard just afore you turn him loose.
You can get three times as much fun &c
the square inch of goat. You wouldn't
think il was the same goat. Well, we
got all fixed and, Pa raped, and we let
him in and told him he must I've blind
folded, and he got on his knees a-laffing.
and tied towel around his eyes, and
then / turned him around and made him
get down on his hands also, and then his
back was right toward the closet door,
and / put the buck beer sign right
against Pas clothes. He was a-lafiing
all the time and said we boys were as
full Of fun as they made 'em. and we
told him IL was solemn occasion. and
we wouldn't permit no levity. and IL he
didn't stop lafling we couldn't give him
the grand bumper degree.