The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-05-28

Intimate sort Of talk. I ed 10 see
far-f9r into his soul. lie has rather a
nice soul, but / can't help wondering
when he marTies-that IS. II he marries
anybody I'm his old sct-What kind OF a
time his wife will have. 1t must be per-
fectly wretched 10 want beautiful things,
and things like other peoples. and not
be able 10 have them. He thinks people
can lead the intellectual life in peace and
quietude on two or three thousand dollars
year. He says 1T Is precisely because
IL is hard not to be sordid that It IS a
fine thing 10 attempt it, and a noble one TO
succeed. More than that. IL Is the price
OF liie.' lie says II may be as grinding
70 be chained 10 wealth as % poverty.
] believe Job said something similar but
m not sure. Life" IS a sort Of shib-
| boleth with him. He dwelt on the fact
| that life means freedom-the freedom that
| comes from health of soul and body and
| simplicity and dignity OF living. Rehash-
| ed, 10 sounds rather dry, but he said IL
! very well. But that is not my ideal Of
/ life. ] believe ! could find happiness
! either IN absolute self-indulgence or abso-
Lutte self-sacriGce.
February 10 met my ideal woman
the other day. I hope 1 may live 20 be
like her, Her development is absolutely
symmetrical along three lines-the social,
the domestic, the intellectual. What a
prlggish way Of putting st! II IS impOs-
sible 10 tell where She is most chez ellie
In the world OF society. the world Of
home or the world OF books If there
is any difference, it is in favor Of the
second. She seems 10 live for her hus-
band and she has such fascinating little
ways OF showing It. Why even I'm her
appreciation Of bright things YOU feel
that she is approaching them for him,
TOO; and she remembers every one worth
while TO ten him. They are very much
in love with each other and they have
been married ten years 1 think it is
extremely odd.
Arthur Rice was always an odiOus
creature. 1 was raging when you wrote
that ne told YOU be had a bet up as 10
whether t was Harold Van Name or
Dorchester who would ultimately come
out ahead. j hope you crushed him dead.
Thank heaven. he and the fellow he
betted with VIII both-well-"get left
There Is absolutely nothing In either af-
fair. Harold brings me bonbons and Noll
brings me books, and I'm having Just the
same kind Of n friendly time with them
that I have had with quantities Of other
men I'm the last five years. Noll is
fine specimen Of humanity but Harold
is more my style. We are about equally
useless.
February % am frghtfuly bored to-
night / made an epigram which llght-
ened my misery FOR five minutes; II was
60 the effect that life is indifference
and death is Indifference carried htue
further.
know why men and women take up
theosophy or turn Socialists ana An
arcbists. II is because life is so stupid.
I wish I were wild-eyed, hungry-look-
ing little girl Of Socialisuc tendencies
who believed things-who believed de-
voutiv that humanity could be uplifled,
and that by ranting and raving about
and writing Illogical and incendtary artl-
Giles and toleraung berry, smoky for
eigners. / was helping ever so little 10
bring the Day Of the Lord to pass But
/ am Bertha Marden, who does nor De
neve that humanity is worth saving anu
couldn't do anything TO help If she did.
This morning. walking down town, saw
through a half-opened gate an old woman
turning over pile of waste stun looking
for rags. At first sight IL wrung my
heart that ii should be so-and that L
saw that she looked interested. She was
n great deal more interested in finding
rags than ] am In anything For heavens
sake. then, let her keep on hunting rags.
TO be interested-that is the only blessed
thing in life. i should pity her II she
felt as l do
I have a Redeem gown. l got It made
ut the between-season price. but it was
horribly extravagant. 1t is gray cloth,
sinplv stiff with silver embroidery. l am
going TO be one Of Elizabeth Mays brides
maids There are four. two in pale Vio-
let and two IN Nile green. You know
what a blonde she is / think We shall
make a becoming frame for her
Van Name and Dorchester are both out
Of town this week
March 15th.-After all, to have ones
world at ones feet is a pretty destiny.
7 wonder how the women feel TO whom II
happens 1 never knew one well. Does
any body ever know them well? DO you
suppose / have the nerve, the dash, the
everything. 10 fiji a great position very
brilliantly II / had Il? DO people get as
fired Of being conspicuous and being en-
,ded as they do Of everything else? II
one can't be rapturously happy, isn't the
nevt hest thing 70 be successful? People
oren't ever rapturously happy. are they?
NV brain is in such whirl, thinking
things out! -,
April 20th.-Sometimes life is vivid. l
did not close my eyes last night tester.
dav Harold and Noll had some KIND or
altercation. very bitter but within bounds,
AZ the club. and both came afterward 70
me. Each was at white heat OF wrath,
md I ssut them away TO cool. l couid
not gather clearly what was the ostenslois
fause of the trohble, but i understand
the fundamental reasons pretty weiI' vi
couree they did not come here at me
same time. Harold intimated that the
dorchester millions could give me any
Kind OF a career that l wanted, and that
they we're graceless ga his sight unless l
shared them Noll said he counted noth-
ing lost II he could win my love they
come 10 DO answered to-day. or course
l wouldn't dream fer minute OK teiiins