The enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 188?-1899, 1893-08-30
IMMORTAL ]. MS OBSERVATIONS.
WELLINGTON THE BOSS
LITTLE CITY"
]. n. SETTLES CONTESTS FOR
SEATS AT
Meeting of"Board Of Trade" and Watches
the Proceedings with Great
Interest -Rininger's New
Cart-wheel.

Wellington his headquarters, and from
time to time he will deal out chunks OF
philosophy" through the columns OF the
Enterprise. This decision he announced
to me as we sat together around the cor
ner of L. W. & Co.'s store, before the
"B6ard of Trade" had met for the Satur-
day afternoon session. He said: "Well'
ington is the Boss little city Of the United
States. How we'll kept and neat II is.
What proud.spirlted and manly men.
What noble and lovely women, and, Oh,
those bewitching girls How gracefully
they propel their wheels. Cheese must
be beautifying as well as an enterprising
and civilizlng diet. mean Wellington
cheese must be. The evidence is incOn-
trovertible. The magnificent town hall
proves it, The elegant and commodious
churches prove it. The unequalled In
telligence and morality Of the people tes-
tifies TO it. Their longevity attests it.
Why, as passed by here yesterday l saw
on this bench six members of the Board
OF Trade whose combined ages aggre-
gated G66 years. Another thing. ! never
struck town-and I've been all Ovel-
Of the size Of Wellington, that had q
Board of Trade which holds am. and
pm. sessions every day, and open air ses-
sions al that. nOtice, too, that frequent
ly the meetings are so large that there Is
not seating capacity. The statesmanship
is here. Never have found within
the radius oil square mile such a
mighty galaxy Of republicans, such a
squad of washed and unterrihed demo-
Gratis. And such resplendant constella.
tion of prohibitionlsts. The divinity Is
here, aud it does not surprise ME that
Boston came here to get preacher. The
Diplomacy is here, and l do not wonder
that Uncle sam came her TO get an at
tache of the seal arbitration. The inven-
tive genius is here and never will ihe
worlds commercial marine and navics
plow the waters Of the mighty deep, safe
from disastrous and dedlh-dealing col
lisions until William Shroeder's collision
stnppers' are attached. But I've found
q few croakers who open vide their
mouths in carplng criticism and say,
Wellington Is nothing but 'Bossy' little
city, Well that's what makes IL the
Boss place. l was out in the country the
other day TO shape up some farmers with
my contrivances and along toward night
could hear nothing but the melodious
outcry Of Come Boss In every direction.
The farmers make towns and cities, aid
II they hadn't Come Bossed' Wellington
would not be the Boss village.
~ would like to have those croakrrs 20
and live awhile In the God-fOrsaken town
Of New London, which has just started
six dram shops, aud they would soon find
out where the hub Of civilization Is.
expect to be translated, otherwise |
buOulH COme neIe W uF.
BOARD OF TRADE.
Saturday ]. N. and we're deeply In.
terested observers OF the afternoon pro-
ceedings OF the aboard Of Trade" around
the corner from l.. W. & Co.'S store.
There was an unusually large attendance
and great struggle for seats and several
fights were narrowly averted, and there
would have been bitterness, at least, but
]. N, philosophically settled the matter
by pacific speech. He said: "Gentle.
men OF the board: Little birds in their
nests agree, no matter how much they are
crowded, and you should emulate the
birds. These are perilous times Want
Of confidence and other. unmiugated
calamities prevail quite extensively. old
panic has got loose and by his magnetic
madness Americans are being metamor.
phosed into nation OF lunatics. On
your harmonious action mighty results
hang. AT your left is fine lot Of water.
melons, potaters tomaters, and bananners,
and all kinds Of fruit and berries and
unless you fix on ratio" the proprietor
Of this stock will sell at II loss, unless he
is paid In gold. Would you see him swim.
died blythe present dishonest silver dollar
No, you would NOT Then 1t Is your re.
ligious duty TO fix up n parity" You
cannot all be seated on that bench. Il
would hold seYen II you had been shaped
up In my contrivances, but In the shape
you are now II will only hold six. l can
intuitively see who are the sitting mem.
bers" Of this board and as I call your
names you will please be seated: John
Howk, Theorolus Hall. David Howk
Riley Couch, 0rlo Smith and William
Spears. Gentlemen now proceed TO busl.
ness"
For three hours the board wrestled with
the financial question but they got no fur.
ther than unanimous agreement that
there should be parity" Meanwhile
some Of them "pared" the bench with
jack.knlves. The board Is receiving and
considering the views OF financial experts
and John Howk submitted those Of Will.
lam Rininger to the effect that the silver
dollar should be doubled In size and made
to contain S25 grains Of silver, which
would be ratio" OF 80 to 1. This
opened up long, loud and exhaustive de.
bate on the silver question. orlo Smith