The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-07-30
LEARNING SHORTHAND.
An Expert Gives a Humorous Recital
OF His First Report Of a Speech.
From The New York Advertiser,

Here Is what a shorthand writer has
TO say about his first experience in speech
reporting:
'Sawyer's System of Shorthand
which consists Of trying to brush the flies
on the teeth of buzz saw while the lat
| ter Is in motion, is very unpopular, but is
| easier TO learn than any other system of
| shorthand that I know anything about.
| Other systems require good deal Of
! time and attention. l took lessons from
myself several months with the aid of an
! old book on Shorthand Without Mas
| ter and after working on hooks
like fisherman and on
curves like a baseball pitcher and burn
! ing considerable after-midnight oil I con-
cluded / would 20 out somewhere and re-
the time for all good men to
come to the aid Of the party
at a regular Nancy Hanks gait
and could scoot through lot of set pieces
like hen after a chOoker bug, reading
my notes with my eyes shut, and made
up my mind that / was just about fast
enough to catch golden truths warm from
the lips OF the speaker and nail oratOry so
quick that it wouldn't have chance
even 10 wriggle its tail.
$50 one night went to an outdoor po-
lltlcal meeting to report the speech Of
the Hon. Horace Jumper Blowcock for
The Schajackeday Creek Weekly Bopeep.
had dozen pencils nicely sharpened at
| both ends when | started in and enough
confidence in my digital dexterity to
| make Paderewski turn an envious pie
plant green. When / got through my
pencils had all lost their points, and my
confidence in my digital dexterity had dl-
minished about 100 per cent.
"'Fellow citizens said Mr.. Blowcock,
| taking drink from stone pitcher and
| trying to dry his mustache with a large
red tongue, while 1 wrote 'fel-stens,'
which is the shorthand sign for fellow
| citizens and says to myself you can't
| get away from me, old man. Fellow
| citizens continued Mr.. Blowcock, the
! yawp and the yum-yum of the peripatetic
Esahoos who are skedaddling around the
country in behalf of a heterogeneous, I'M
| enlightened and prostituted opposition
that seeks to overawe and disintegrate
| our glorious party, may now be heard all
| over Schajackeday creek like the wall of
| an emaciated little dOrg trying to olsen
tangTe himself from bunch of Chinese
| fireworks. Here there was loud APP
plause from the audience, during which
| Mr.. Blowcock looked around like man
who feels that he has made an impress
| sion.
'Indeed, Mr. Blowcock had made an
! impression. He impressed me with the
belief that l couldn't write shorthand
worth a continental bow-wOw. / had
| broken the points of five pencils that
| had taken so much pains to whittle, had
tipped over an ink bottle, let about two
thirds of my nice, white paper slip OFF the
| edge of the table, and was sweating like
| a blacksmith. Mr.. BlOweock stopped
right here to blow his nose and to take
/ sip from the mysterious stone pitcher,
| while ! reflected that the shorthand
| writer who can write pet phrases at home
cannot pin eloquence warm from the lips
of the speaker unless he has got the
| right kind of pins to do it with. I wished
Mr.. Blowcock had blown his nose longer
| and drank more, for wanted time to col
| lect my thoughts, which were considera-
! bly, scattered, and to get new holt so
| speak.
"'Where,' continued Mr. Blowcock,
| punching a large hole in the atmosphere
! with his right arm and cracking the Ia
| BILE at which he stood with his left,
where, whittier, whereby and whereat is
| this monopoly ridden country of ours
| drifting to- No longitudinally, nor lati-
tudinally, nor horizontally, nor vertical
| ly, nor perpendioularly. No, not by a
| joyful. We are careening violently,
willfully, persis tently and Enthusiastically
| down the broad road that leads to ever
| lasting bankruptcy unless we introduce
| policy of retrenchment and transmogrih-
cation AT least l thought this last
word was transmogrifcation In my
| notes it looked something like IL, though
it might have been something else.
don't know l wouldn't have sworn to
! anything that the Hon. Mr.. Blowcock
| uttered that evening.
81 didn't try to write any more Of his
speech. Just sort o. followed along like
the old lady who tried to sing at the
| there with my last remaining pencil 1.-THE
rest had rolled to the foor), and feeling
very ridiculous and very much ashamed
| of myself indeed. got some of the short
words and made occasional references to
the applause, and aftensMr, Blowcock had
finished l wrung myself out and started
for the office of the Schaiackeday Bopeep.
] guessed at the first two paragraphs Of
| Mr. BlowcoCk's speech, madesup the rest,
though l couldn't for the life of me think
of word he said, interjected lot of APP
| plause and cheers wherever ] thought
they came in good, and wrote an introduce
ton under a swell head, as follows:
Nothing in oratorical effort of recent
| years, has equaled, or even approached,
the magnificent address of the Hon. Hor-
ace Jumper Blowcock, delivered before
the Schajackeday Creek Political Reform
! Club, last Thursday night. Mr.. Blow
| cock Is a born orator, full of the fire of
| genius pure in diction, simple in style,
| profound in thought, graceful as a bird,
| and is brave, manly and independent
| His language is like music, charming, and
| holding the auditor with grip like
! hired mans, and his audience was altern-
ately jollied up and melted to tears Mr..
| Blowcock punctuatad his remarks with
| timely gestures, that he always has with
! him, and was greeted with vociferousap-
! plause throughout Our citizens are
unanimous in pronouncing him the De
mOsthenes of the political platform, and
will insist on his early return.
81 received 50 from the editor of the
! Bopeep for my services, and the next day
was the recipient of a box of real nice
! five cent cigars and the following note
| from Mr.. Blowcock:
| DEAR SIR AND FRIEND: Permit me TO con-
| graduate you on the completeness and &C
| curacy Of your report of my speech last night,
| You caught me word for word. II you ever
| come to HoRtown be sure to call around and
| see me. Please accept these cigars as
| slight token of regard, Very sincerely.
! HORACE JUMPER BLowCOoK.
CAN of which goes to show first, that
a man or woman who can write SET pieces
at quick, jerky gait may not, after all.
! be shorthand writer, and second that he
| or she IN that case may crawl out of an
| awfully bad hole sometimes by liberal
| distribution of appropriate taffey,"