Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1893-06-03
HUM0R OF TIE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd. Curious, and Lsaghabls
Phases of Human Nature Graphically
Portrayed by Eminest Word Artists Of
Our Own Day.
wsds of waydown wit.

counterfeit dollar. Elmira Gazette.
IT takes the professional fisherman
to tell catchy yarns Troy Telegram.
HEIR RAISING INTELLIGENCE -
"Triplets at your house. Boston
Courier.
JAGSoN saws it is astonishing how
bad most good fellows are. -Elmira
Gazette.
WITH the expert tailor taking ones
measure is largely a matter Of form,
Troy Press
I'VE got the drop on you, said the
ink-bottle to the new carpet
Rochester Chronicle.
ALL work and no play makes the
girl with piano popular next door,
-Binghamton Leader,
IT is a strong boarder who can eat
three plates OF hash without turning
a hair. Boston Courier.
Too MANY bright young men try to
make their conversation spicy with
cloves. Galveston News.
A GUN is quite human in one re-
spect. 1t generally kicks when it is
discharged. Rochester Democrat.
No CHANGES made in the poStonice
will ever make some males more regu-
lar than they are now. Philadelphia
Times.
EVERY man has his influence, Z"
but sometimes has hard time TO find
1t when he is in hurry.-Cleveland
Plaindealer.
ONE Of the poets says we cam live
without cooks, and many ladies say
they can't live with them -Phila-
delphia Times.
THE fellow who bet on a popular
oarsman and got stuck says there 5
always a thorn TO the rows.-Bing-
hamton Leader.
THAT a talent for money-making
isn't always good thing many an inn
prisoned counterfeiter can testify
Buffalo Courier
81 WILL now attend to this writ OF
attachment" said the young lawyer
who was composing love lei ter. -
Washington Star.
PREVENTING locomotives smoking
in the city streets doesn't imply try.
ing to stop their "chew-chewing. -
Philadelphia Times
CADBY I'd like to marry Miss
Richie on one account. Fadby-What
is that? Cadby-Her bank account
Harvard Lampoon.
WIEN it comes to dime museum
attractions the fat woman can pu
the living skeleton in the shade ever.
day. Elmira Gazette.
DID the term Woody West" orig
mate in the unpleasant fact tina
m my an investor has been fleece,
lhere?-Lowell Courier.
CAPTAIN, why do they distribute
liquor to sailors on shipboard? well
you know, every Jack should have hi
gill."-Philadelphia Record
Miss Why don't yol
marry Mr. Mum? Are your parent
opposed to it? Miss Giddy-No bu
Mr. Mum seems to be,-Vogue.
SOONER THAN EXPECTED. Ton
Bigbee-When does your marriag
with Miss Goldbug come Off? Hoff
man Howse-It's off now Puck.
you are the world to me" h,
whispered. "All right" she an
swered, You can be the sun. IN
going to marry your father. Chips
"A LITTLE change Of heir" re
marked the old man as he altere,
his will, cutting off his nephew II
favor Of his typewriter. -Philadelphi
Record.
AT a Chicago ball: Porker-Sir,
what do you mean by walking ovel
that lady's foot? New Yorker
Thunderation, man, do you thin
I've got wings?
PRECEPToR-Of course you want &
go TO heaven, Willie? Willie
should say not. | amt enough stucI
on pulling off grandpa's boots 70
that Detroit Tribune.
LITTLE BoY-The hens out Yves
must be awful little. Mamma-Wh
so? Little Boy-Uncle John say
he's seen hail-stones there as large a
hens eggs. Good News.
IN spite Of the fact that indelibl
ink has been found in banana juice
every one who steps on the peel
inclined to do considerable remark
ing Chicago Inter Ocean.
It's big job % lick the Colum
bian stamps, but this country can d
ii. 1t was a bigger job 10 lick Kin
Georges stamps in the revolution
but still We got there -Philadelphi
Times.
Il WANT" said the astronomer
"an inscription for my new tclescop
! which shall be- i'm the nature of m