Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-01-21
PITlI AND POINT.
A play bill-Shakspere.
A password-Deadhead.

A play blll-ohakspere.
A password-Deadhead.
Hard times-The stone age.
Race tracks-Prchistori footprints.
A chest protector trunk-strap.
A fgurehead-The mathematician's.
Puts the house in roar--i conia-
grafton.
Self denial is most admired in othei
people.
The luxures of life are the things we
can't afford to have.
"All we'll that ends well' is the motto
Of the artesian borer.
"L,ves on the fat of the land'-Tae
anti-fat doctor. Puck.
The latest thing in racing circles
The pneumatic tire.-PucS.
Bya "whitc lie is meant the kind you
see on tombstores. -Atchison Globe.
The man who most deserves mouu-
meut does not need it.-Rams Horn.
When you want to see the crooked
made straight, look at railroad map. -
Rams Horn.
If you want to live long, don't try to
live more than one day at a time. -
Rams Horn.
Anybody can FIRE off gun; but it
takes long practice to learn how to
shoot. Rams Horn.
The older we grow, the more firmly
we become convinced that no one who
is as young as we are is old, Puck.
Pm blue AMI know it,
Blue are all things, too;
Nv luck, my bills-o, b.Owit-
Even the skies are b.u'.
Chicago News Record.
A little leavcn leaveueth the whole
lump, but a great big 'leven maketh the
other fellows cake all dough. Chicago
Tribune.
When person considers himself as
"one in thousand he naturally re,
CARDS the others as ciphers. -Boston
Transcript.
Any fool can prophecy after the fact.
That accounts for the number of men we
hear of who were ''oorn 10. sucL. aud
such a fate. Truth.
There are some people who would
sneer at the industry of the bee, because
it doesn't furnish them with bread t.
spread the honey on.-PucG.
A dressmaker seeing cat-5oat tack
I'm the wind t1SSal waves one dav
''Oh, my remarked, see how sac cuts
On the bias across the bsyW
Puck
Major Martinette- Haven't you GOT
n kiss for your uncle, Johnnie'' Johnnie
with dignity -"No! Men never ks.
each other. You give him kiss, gov
erness. Fun.
"Fhis paper says they electrified
mummy il London some time a.o and
made it talk ''What did it say7' 81
don't know. | fancy it was something
like Cad, I'm dryr"-Brooklyn Life,
Beneath its Counterpart of snow
A whole land lies in slumber,
And the magazine editor is busy now.
Making up his Midsummer NJ nber.n
Puck.
''You Americans are never still. It's
hurry and hustle all day with you, said
the foreigner. Never still, eh2n re.
torted the American. al guess you
never saw one OF our hrel men at work
Harper's Bazaar,
Little Tommy rather electrified his
mother, the other day, when he saw AT
icema delivering his commodity fo
the first time; "Oh, Mama just look
at the man carrying a chunk OF ice witt
pair of bow-legged scissors Puck.
Visitor (admring the new piano.
"Ycs, it's very pretty, dear. And you
play it already, do vou' Can you play
by note2" Little G.rl--''Ol, dear, no
But papa can, 'spect. heard him tel
ma he was going to pay for it by note
Chicago Tribune.
Scientists have discovered that tnt
memory is stronger III su inner than it
winter. Herein may be found an ex
PLANTATION of the fact that the summe,
girl disremembcrs her vacation love,
with the first appearance of Jack Frost.
Boston Transcript.
Patient-"Doctor, | cant sleep
night. tumble aud toss till morning. )
Doctor-"H'm, that's bad. L : me see
your tongue. (After diaguos.s.) PAYS
ically you are all right. Perhaps you
worry over that bill you yc owed me fol
the last two years. It'd. Bits.