Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-04-06

IT really wasn't a punster who in
PRODUCED in the legislature bill to
cod-ify the fish laws, - Cleveland
Plaindealer.
A LITTLE boy was asked what the
Sunday school text was. He answered
MANY are cold, but few are frozen"
Newark Call.
DAsHwAY--I have just been up in
the mountains for little shooting.
Cleverton-Any luck? Dashaway-
One guide. Life.
"Do YOU enjoy your health?" "Of
course, Did you ever know of any
one who didn't enjoy good health?"
eyes, the doctors. "-Quibs.
Jack PENDLEToN must have got
married" what makes you think
SOP" "He has quit wearing creases
in his trousers, "--EXchange.
TEAcHER-"Now, Teddy, is Jeru-
salem a proper noun or a common
noun?", Teddy" 'Tain't either. It's
an ejaculation, mum, Truth.
MANY a mistress would like to com
mand her servant to do this and that,
but finds it difficult to rise to the
point of order.-Detroit Tribune.
II FEEL better about lickin' this
postage stamp" said the boy who had
been sent to mail a letter. "It's
nearer my size, Washington Star.
Thrown Jack over, have you,
Kitty" Eyes" II thought you
loved him?" 81 did, but discovered
that he bought the candy he sent me
at a grocery. Buffalo Express.
81 got secrid," said Molly. "My
mamma says maybe if I'm awful good
for a whole month papa II try to
have me eggzibited at the Worlds
Fair. "-Harper's Young People,
BARNES Qaying aside a letter)-I'd
like t. git this ere Teller fer a hired
man. Mrs Barnes Why, Josh?
Barnes-'Cause he signs himself
"Your obedient servant, Puck.
FOND PAPA - Tommy, you are
learning rapidly. Now tell me what
these figures on my new necktie
are?" Tommy Observation-Disclosures
things, The Clothiers' Weekly.
II KNEW he'd fall He was aw-
fully extravagant," what did he
do?" "Why, he even went so far as
to insist on boiled eggs for breakfast
every morning. Buffalo Express.
UPsoN DowNEs-Parveneer be-
lieves in pruning his genealogical
tree. Rowne de Bout-How is that?
Epson Downes-He cuts his poor re-
lations when he meets them. Puck.
JnMY-Papa took me 10 the cathe-
dral last Sunday, and they burned a
lot of insects to make the place smell
nice. Tommy-They must have
been scentapedes. Philadelphia Rec
ord.
! could you make it convenient to
lend me 800, Jack?" 81 don't know.
If | should lend it to you l should be
man of some distinction" "How
is that?" "One out of a hundred. -
Yarmouth Item.
JEwELER-"You don't need key
for that watch. Just turn the crown,
so, and it will CO." Farmer Field
"Just like a durn caow, amt it? Give
her tail twist an she gifts up and
gits"-Jeweler's Weekly.
CHAT is a pretty big buckwheat
cake for a boy Of your sizef" said papa
at breakfast to Jimmieboy. ut looks
big" said Jimmieboy, "but really it
isn't. It's got lots of porouses in it. "
-Harper's Young People.
A TEACHER was explaining to lit
tie girl how the trees developed their
foliage in the spring-time. "Ah,
yes" said the wee miss 81 under
stand; they keep their summer
clothes in their trunks, "-Harper's
Bazaar.
odd you write James SkidmOre's
name on this note?" said the Judge to
the prisoner accused of forgery. "Pd
like to know, Judge" replied the cul-
prit, "if Jim Skidmore hasa copyright
on the letters as happens to form his
me?"-Savannah Press.
"O1 do behave there's foul play coD-
templated agin me at me service
place." said Bridget O'Rafferty. "Do
they want to get rid of you?" "Oi
sushpect that same" "Why?" livery
noight the missus do be givin' me
tickets to ride home on the trolley
railroad. Washington Star.
SHE-"As we are to be married in
June, don't you think you ought to
begin to economical" He-"Oh, I've
begun already. That very thought
occurred to me this evening as / was
coming here" She-"What did you
do?" He-"Passed the candy store
without stopping - New York
] Weekly.
SHE was hurrying along toward the
railroad statson with her long gown
dragging behind and in the way.
"Good gracious, Mary" angrily ex-
claimed her husband, what did you
ever wear that thing for?" She re-
J sponded cheerfully, I'm all right. I
wore it so I'd be sure to get to the
station before my train did. detroit
Free Press.