Smyrna times., 1893-11-01

SMYRNA LODGE, No. 5, I. O. G. T--Meets every
Wednesday evening, at o'clock
SMYRNA CONCLAvE No 45, ORDER OF HEPTAsOPHs.
Meets first and second Tuesday of each month
UNION CASTLE No. II, X. G. .E.-Meets every Thurs
day evening in Odd Fellows Hall, at o'clock.
) ROYAL TEMPLARs OF TEMPLARs.-Meets every
Thursday evening at O'Clock in Good Tenn
plars Hall.
MIsPAH LODGE, No. &c. A. o. U. W.-Meets every
Monday evening at O'Clock in Odd Fellows
Hall.
SHORT, SHARP And SNAPPY.
The editor of Puck has trouble with
chestnuts at home as we'll as at his
offices.
The IA people who dropped 200 feet,
in Worlds Fair elevator, know what
rapid transit is.
AT last something has been found
that is tougher than New York police
man. 1t is cable grip car, which
knocks out policemen with ease
If the bankers had been less unani-
nous in favor of unconditional repeal
the opponents of unconditional repeal
in the Senate might have been fewer.
The Indians show their natural
shrewedness by regarding the pro-
position to make n State out of Indian
Territory with suspicion they scent
the job in the scheme.
If there be anything on earth that
contains mere crOokeduess to the
square inch than New York city poll
tics the papers of that city should all
be indicted for criminal libel.
By a vote of 80 to % the U. S. Senate
has decided that monocle and a $50.
600 campaign contribution are good
credentials for the highest diplomatic
honor the country has to bestow.
The Russian bear and the French
eagle would certainly make strong
team, if they could be made to work in
double harness. Even the great Napo.
leon made a failure in putting them
against each other.
1t has been estimated that go percent
of the male population of the United
States would willingly give up their
present occupations to hold Federal
office. And 80 percent of the other
could be persuaded to hold Office.
SOmebOdy-Frank Hatton, we be-
iieve-has deem trying to prove that
the life of Congressman is one of
misery and suffering. This may be
true, but ifso why do not Congressman
resign more frequently or decline re.
electiOnP
When President Cleveland and Sena.
tor Hill fall on each others necks In
the wind-up tabieaux of the great con-
clllation act care should be taken to
see that the tear receptaeles are numer-
Gus and large and that the principals
are unarmed.
The Louisiana Creoles made the
difference between creole and quad
room very apparent to a travelling
theatrical composed of the latter but
advertising themselves to be creoles.
1t is really surprising t9 fnd Well.ip-
formed people cOpfaupding the two.
II Amos Cummings will amend his
bill, for the better proper classi6cati on"
he can count upon the support of all
those who have met hogs and other
animals in palOr cars and first-class
saloons, and nearly everybody has. If
Mr.. Cummings can compel the hogs to
travel in cages he will become u public
benefactor.
ANY system under which the labor
OF cOnViets 10 allowed to compete with
that of honorable persona il wrong and
and vicious. Under the present laws !
all imported goods have to be branded
with the name of the country in which {
they are produced. Why not a law ]
compelling all convict.made goods to
be plainly branded
53f ~
An explosion 10 connection with a
volcanic eruption was, it is claimed.
heard 200 miles away and was con.
sequently rated as the loudest noise
ever made in the world. The daily
explosions in the y. s. Senate may not
DO as loud as that Of the volcano, but
they are heard much fatheE-all over
the civilized world in fact.
. ----4-----.-- a..
"During my term of service In the
army | contracted chronic diarrhna,"
says A. +. Bending. Of Halsev. Oregon.
"Since then have used great amount
oi medicine, but when / found any
that would give me relief they would
lalure my stomach, until Chamberlain's
Cohc, Cholera ald piarrhP Remedy
was brought TO my notice gsed it
ana Will say it is the only remedy that
gave me permanent relief and no bad
results fOIDow.p For sale by Ashcraft .
g g, Clifton, smyFps, apd T. L. Mason,
NO other sarsaparilla has the merit
TO hold the nnnAdnnnn Of n,tirn 10.