Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1893-03-16
MR.. AND MRS. eoWsER.
He Tries to Show His Wife How to Cleal
a House-What the Result Was.

things little this month, and as l wanted
MIN out of the way, said to him the other
evening:
Being you have been home all summer,
should think you would want to take little
Eip this fall"
"H'm!" he replied as he looked up from his
paper.
"You don't look bit well, Mr.. Bowser.
Your face is haggard, and believe you have
bst twenty pounds of flesh this summer"
This time he didn't say anything as he
| looked at me.
"If you wanted to go down to New Hamp-
shire and see your relatives" continued, II
could get you all ready in one day.
''Oh. you couldl" he replied "Mrs. Bow
ser, | see through your little game, and it
won't work You want to get me away SO
you can rip and tear and scrub and clean and
wipe and dust and damage and destroy four
| fifths of the contents of this housem
81 want to clean just little"
"Well, go ahead"
"But you-you"-
"Oh, yes it's always mel One would think
you were afraid to breathe unless gave my
consent in writing. Have | said word
against housecleaning9 Don't l know that
housekeeping must be done2 | was wonder
ing the other day when you were going to
begin"
But last year you raised such fussn
"Can't remember that | said one single
word. If did it was only in fun"
'SSAnd may cleanF
Not only that, but I'll help"
"But you needn't. You just be patient and
put up with the muss for few days and I'll
getn-
LAS said, will help, Mrs. Bowser. It
will be a sort of vacation for me. Don't you
worry about my finding any fault"
1t was with fear and trembling that saw
him put on an old suit of clothes next morn
ing and heard him say:
I'm begin on the parlor first. It's now
o'clock. We ought to be through with the
whole house in two hoursn
"l-rm afraid we are not so smart as that
We must go slow and give the house thor
ough going over"
"Oh, we'll have everything shining like
new pin before we let up. You boss and I'll
do the work. You know, of course, that
there is everything in the planning. Some
folks make whole weeks job of houseclean-
ing simply because they don't know how to
plan. Mother and l used to clean house in
half an hour, and you know how pafsS q hr
she is"
After breakfast the cook came in and said
she was ready, and she likerN announced
that the two colored women were in waiting
waiting for what!" asked Mr. Bowser.
"To help us Clean" replied.
"Send them right homel Five Of us to
clean housed Who ever heard of the like!
Do you want the neighborfE9 think we have
been shoveling dirt into q tlhouse all sum-
merl I'll start those coloNeo women for
homo Dfalp .l,o
cook. Let her attend toAaffairs in the
Kitchen
He went out and ''started" I'll q women
had had engaged for six W then
returned with the announce% Awes
ready to start in on the spafN hav-
ing already taken down the cuS as and re-
moved the bedding.
; "All right-I'll have it doue in G De min
! utes!" he replied, as he spit on h;fs hands.
You clear out and give me ROOM to work.
2 think can give you and ali othei women q
pointer on house cleanngn
l went down stairs, and it Wasn't over
! seven minutes before he called to N
IAN right, Mrs. Bowser-your from is
cleaned! Come up and show me what to do
next"
"What have you doney' l asked 1 found
, him seated on the window sill a COM
placent smile on his face.
"Cleaned the room. Every ''N' mas
; been taken down and dusted,, thesx stead
! wiped off, and have swept the carp{t. Nour
! three or four women would have zen two
days accomplishing the same tasN have
completed in less than ten minutes tell YOU,
Mrs Bowser, it is all in the panning.n'
"But that bedstead must come d IN, Mr..
Bowsern
"What forl' A
; "Because the carpet must come up. Every
= thing must be moved out of the room and the
floor cleaned
= "Well, l should like to know what fort
| What's the matter with this room lust a,
it isl"
,, "Dust Mr. Bowser. 1t blows and we can't
help it. Moths get in now and then. If we
, don't do our work thoroughly we might as
: well let it go entirely. Take the bedstead
down first"
"Ill take it down, but protest. It's all
, bosh hunting out every speck of dust No
/, one else does it. Get out of the wayn
,, He made grab for the springs and lifted
them out, but in getting them clear of the
rail he fell over backwards and the springs
!, fell upon him. He made use of several Wig
orous exclamations, kicked out in an effort to
demolish them, and as | assisted him to get
! up he roared:
! 81 told you that these things ought to be
! left alone! The fool who invented them
! never intended they should be movedm
a calmed him down after bit and then
, asked him to take down the bedstead. He
grabbed the footboard and gave a pull.
Then he grabbed the headboard and gave a
| wrench.
, "Mr Bowser, don't you know how to take
a bedstead apart." asked.
Don't II" Well, if | don't no one else
does! l was taking bedsteads apart ten years
+ before you were bornl You always have to
loosen the joints bit. Now thenn-
"But you don't bear down on the rail. You
must lift up at the ends"
81 think know my business, Mrs. Bowser,n
he replied as he worked away.
"But you don't, You are locking the rails
! instead of looseninS them. See here.n
pulled at the end of rail and unlocked
1t. Mr.. Bowser backed off, crossed his hands
on the small of his back and said:
Mrs Bowser, that settles it. clearly see
your object. We will have no more house
cleaning this fall. l see what it would lead
to. When wife gets the idea that she
knows more than her husband it is time to
hoist the danger signal Just drop things
right here. That is, unless you have planned
to bring about this very thing to force
legal separation
n