The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-09-26
"Cum Nifty Nigh Havin' a Fight-"Did
You Ever Tackle a Thunder Storm"

~
"Cum Nifty Nigh Havin' a Fight-"Did
You Ever Tackle a Thunder Storm"
B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hello! Major. How are you
getting along7"
Bob, I'll pull through, I reckin.
But you cum nifty nigh bein' the end
ov me last week"
R.-"How was that?'
B.-"Well, I tole you about gettln'
that revenue position under Simmons.
I thought it wuz conferdential, but
when 1 went ter the ~postofice an got
nv 1 found you had it in the pa
per. I threw my paper away and tole
Betsy that the mails were gettin' pow
erful onsartin' lately. But all the n
bors take your paper an Betsy Dor
rowed one an read all erbout IL"
R.-'Then Mrs. B:lkins raised cane,
I suppose9'
B.-"No she didn't. Cane wuz 10
name fur the racket she raised. We
cum nifty nigh havin' a fight. Ireckin
we would a fought, but Betsy wuz a
little more willin' nor I wuz IN we
compromised the matter by meleavin'
home for a day or So"
R.-"So Mrs. Bilkins ordered you
away from your own home did she?'
B.-"No she didn'C order me ter
leave exactly fer she tore my coat tail
off try in ter git me ter stay. But I
couldn't stand the storm. I'll tell you
it wuz worse than any thunder storm
you ever saw"
RI must tell the news. II you
get into trouble by selling out for a
mess Of pottage in the shape Of a
revenue position, you may expect to
get into trouble. 1 hope the storm has
blown over"
B.-"No it is not over yet. Betsy
says she will lever trust me out Of her
sight again. 1 reckin' I'll be tied to
one ov her apron strings fer all time
ter cum. We men haint got no liberty
nohow."
R.-"Have the good times arrived
in your neighborhood yetg"
B.-"No. They never will get here
if them felIers up at Washington are
goin' to prevent the cOnfermashuu Ov
Simmons. I wuz expectin' relief from
him, but that is all owe now, 1 had
done given up the idea of goin' ter the
legislature fer Betsy wuz SO opposed.
Now I wont get any revenue offs, an
1 reckin I'll have ter wait four years
fer any relief as that crowd up at
Washington amt goin' ter do the
country any god"
Rob! don't become respondent,
The new baby at the White House has
been named and the Raleigh bicycle
races are over. Both of these things
are calculated to make money easier
and prices higher. Solong as a quorum
stays away from Washington, the
country is safe"
B.-"What do you mean by thatE'
R.-"You see a good many Of the
members Of Congress are attending the
races and seaside resorts. Until they
came back, there is no danger of any
thing being done in Congress. If they
get together again they may demone-
tie something else, cottonfor instance,
and complete the ruin. With a gold
bug administration and Congress in
power, our only hope is that they may
fish and attend the races so much that
nothing else will be DONE"
B.-"What about tariff reform9'
R.-"That is n thing we must
watch out for. Until the present party
got in they talked about tariff re-
FORM" Now the government receipts |
are more than two million dollars per !
month less than the expenditures. So
all the talk is about tariff revision. "
Tariff revision" means that the whole
thing will be overhauled and the tariff
tax will be raised instead of loaUered. /!
This is necessary in order to get enough |
money to run the government. So
after voting twenty five years for tariff |
reform we will get tariff revision
and you know what that means, for
explained it above"
B.-"Great gewhiIiken8! Where are
we at? thought maybe we would get
something. I reckin we will, but it
will be a hard dose to take. Good bye"
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