The herald., 1893-08-07
'vASSAR'S MATHEMATICS.
One of Its Graduates Taught That Eiel
Gil1s Make a Pint.

One of Its Graduates Taught That Eight
ellis Make Pint.
She was Vassar girl, and she had
come to visit her sister. The sister just
at thio time is paying particular atten-
ton to very small girl who will call
the Vassar young woman auntie when
she gets so she can talk. Besides the
three mentioned females there were in
the family husband (who didn't count
for much at this juncture) and hired
girl who was empress of all she sur
veyed.
One morning the hired girl thought it
was just about time for her to visit the
Worlds fair. Accordingly she packed
her trunk and walked out, first putting
large baking of bread and two cakes in
the oven. Two or three hours later the
Vassar girl strolled out into the kitchen
for something or other and discovered
the bread and cakes burned to crisp.
Then she said several things in Greek
and instituted search for the empress.
But the empress was no more. The
family consultation which followed
brought out the fact that the husband
was obliged to eat once day at least,
and the Vassar girl boldly threw herself
into the breach and declared that she
would cook.
She pushed back the bangs from her
classic brow, rolled up the sleeves of her
empire gown and began to cook. Things
ran smoothly until it came time to make
the coffee. Now, it go happens that the
husband is crank about his coffee. He
likes it strong. The Vassar girl knew
this, and she went in to her sister and
asked for Instructions. The sister gave
the instructions very minutely. There
were a certain number of gills of water
to be used and a certain number of ta-
blespoonfuls Of coffee. Dinner time
came, and when the coffee was poured
out it was found to be that pale, old gold
color so much affected by the coffee of
boarding houses. Not word was said,
but at the next meal the Vassar girl was
nervous. Coffee was poured out, and it
was very, very blond.
"Say," said the husband, who still con-
tinued to count for but very little,
. whats the matter with this coffeer'
"Tm sure don't know" said the Vas
sar girl. II made it just as was told
to-"
The coffee was paler than ever at
the next meal. The husband ventured
to kick, but was promptly squelched.
At the next meal it was so weak that
the favor could not be smelled, to say
nothing Of being tasted. The Vassar
girl was low in her mind, but she still
maintained bold front. I'm follow
ing your wife's recipe" she said chill
ingly to the husband. I don't know that
it's my fault that it isn't strong"
Dinner time came around and with it
the coffee, which was buta ghost of what
coffee should be. The husband looked
at that which had been poured out for
him and remarked, "Sure you make this
stuff right, sis?
Certainly" replied the vassar girl
Don't you suppose know enough to
follow simple directions?'
Dunno" said the husband.
"What do you mean?" asked the Vas
sar girl, with fine Indignation.
"Oh, nothing" replied tho husband
pacifcally, ''only it's blamed funny"
The Vassar girl looked unutterable
things, and the meal proceeded in silence.
Finally the husband broke out, ..Say,
aia do you nse that gill cup in measur-
ing the water?".
Eyes," replied the Vassar girl shortly.
"Well, how many gills are there in a
pint down at Vassar?''
sis this a kindergarten" asked the
Vassar girl.
''No, but just thought I would ash
you."
The Vassar girl smiled a smile of inf
mite scorn. cat Vassar, just as every
where else," she said loftily, "there are
eight gills in pint"
And the husband was brute enough
to laugh.-Buffalo Express.