The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1893-09-13
he HAD THE SYMPTOMS.
The Editor Reads the Advertisement an
Answers Its Queries.


Answers Its Queries
Look at the questions that some special
lists fire at people through the advertising
columns of the great dailies.
Are you neryOus''
We can be on occasion. Sometimes our
jaw wags without any apparent cause or
reason, and sometimes our right arm goes
out in front as if we were hunting for
John L. Sullivan. Sometimes we kick high
and unceremoniously and are surprised mt
the cobwebs and dust that come down on
u.s. We never knew before it was all due
TO catarrh
Are you detected
Sometimes. In fact, most Of the time.
This is a hard world in many respects, and
our path is often as stony rs the Appian
Way in Rome. The laundry bill comes
regularly; board bill, too, and rent, and
subscriptions 60 the papers, and car fare,
and wages, etc, while-but there is enough
in this world to make us detected without
having the catarrh
as your stomach Weakw
Now if chat j.. ,u invitation to have some.
thing count us in for devilish weak
stomach Weak? Well we would smile
il we could. Why, our stomach just now
wouldn't hold ~ gill of rotten apple cider.
It's too weak to rest our case on for relief
from the country board, and that's saying
good deal. If somebody can make Il ia.
tai case of Catarrh out of weak stomach,
he can't begin too soon for our comfort.
Have you lost ambitioni'
Doggoned if we haven't. Hardly know
what it is. Don't even have the sand to go
out after dark and shake fists at the moon
But we had rather attributed it to the fact
that we have just come out of a campaign
In which we were carrying this city with Il
whoop and hurrah and an overwhelming
majority election day, when it seem
ed as if we had been throwing all our in
fluence to the other fellow. If it were only
catarrh that takes away our ambition, we
should be too ready and willing to confess
it. But it isn't. It's plain case of disap
pointment.
'ls your breath oilensiveY'
Just come around and smell it, if you car
get close enough. But remember that we
are nervous.
DO you have roaring in your headY"
Roaringl Goodness gracious That i.
no name for it. Why, when we actually
begin to think and to pour out rivers o
language the roaring in our heads is tire
mendous, it is appalling, and good man!
people call it rumbling, thinking an earth
quake is coming We have had roaring il
our head ever since we began to do thlnk
ing for the masses of the people and pre-
sumo that is why we don't get rich-i
scares the prey away. But if this roaring
business is merely disease of the mucou
lining of the head, throat and stomach W
want to submit at once to an operation tina
will remove disease and membrane at on
sharp slash.
''Do you get confused in your ideasY"
Some people say we do, sometimes Fo
instance, when one of our reporters fount
that the Cinnamon were being inventoried
and the compOsitor set it up being wet ant
dried" almost anybody would be safe il
saying that we do sometimes get confused
in our ideas, especially so as the reporter is
also the compositor, proofreader I'D editor
in chief. If it is catarrh that ais him, we
are willing to give him his discharge at any
time if somebody will undertake to cure
the confusion. There are lots of other ques-
tions we might answer with equal aflirma-
ton, but we have no right to intrude the
symptoms of SO disagreeable disease on
our readers for nothing, no matter how
many of them We may have.-Superior In
land