The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1893-08-09
PITH AND POINT.
A sea bass-The fog-horn.

CQar1Iy WHICH DeS1uS hb uOHc ire
quently finds itself too busy to 80 out.
The mosquito gives You some music
and then takes up @ collection for 1T
Galveston News. :
Stomachache and marriage are the
worlds two greatest means of doubling
people up.-Truth,
II anticipated as much, !" said the
'ttourist" as he started ahead Of the
bulldog. Plain Dealer.
With inconsistent woman, 'sa sight
to behold" and "not fit to be seen" are
synonymous terms. Puck.
Some people imagine that they de-
serve months rest every time they
do right. Galveston News.
The man who'is the life of the com-
pany often bores to death the other
fellows who want to tall; Truth.
While it is true that the poor man is
compelled to hump himself to own g
bicycle, it isn't the price alone that
does it.-Bufalo Courier.
Some ofthe best products of liter
ature are due to absent mindedness 3
the average genius gets his conceits
out of his head. Boston Courier.
Among the vain men whom we meet,
The vainest one OF all IS
Is he who boasts of his little feet. y =,
When his head is just as small y
Puck
A man little dreams when making
great efforts for success, that he is do
ing the very work that will one day
make him conspicuous as has been.
Puck. ~.
"Poor fellowl Did he lose his
eyes in the WARP" ooh, no. he tried
to pass woman On the street when
she had her umbrella up.""-Detroit
Tribune. -. q
Fred-"What do you think of my
argument?" Will 'Sound-most cer-1
tainly sound" Fred--"And what
else?" Will--"N Nothing else merely
sound. Boston Globe.
II am taking cooking lessons OF
Mrs. Picrust. 'sDo you find them
benefcial?" every. I have already
learned how to tell when something's
burning. ."-Chicago Record
May-"Dear, do you see that stupid
fellow trying to firt with mey' joe:
"No; he is trying to hirt with me. ;"
May-''Dear me! how much more
stupid than I thought. THE Club.
She-"But you have no reason to be
Jealous of me, you know you haven't. I"
He--"Reason! Reason! Idispensed
with my reason entirely when fell in
love with yo1. Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Younghasband--'fWhy don't
you 20 for weeks holiday, George?
Your employer can surely do without
you." George-'I know it; but 1
don't want HIM to find it out."-Tit.
Bits.
'It is very ssd," said the twenty
dollar bill, "but since that stuck up
gold ptece has been to Europe and
come back, it positively refuses to
recognize me as all eq Ial. "--Indianap-
oils Journal.
sThat makes the third woman that
has tainted at that counter this morn
ing" '.Have they discovered what
the trouble is?" ';yes; new cash
boy that brings the change straight
back. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Short-sighted gentleman chooses
pair OF spectacles. '"These glasses,
he says, ''are not strong enough for
me-" But, sir, they are No. g"
''What have you next to No. 2?' mo.
l." "And after that?" CATER No. 1,
sir, you will want e dog og!"---Tit-Bits.
Boerum doing his best to make
favorable impression, has jus3 finished
his best anecdote)--"Ha! la! ha!
That's pretty good story, now" Miss
Acres--" "Yes, I think SO, too. And
they say poor Uncle Phil, who was
killed at Gettysburg, never tired OF
hearing it. "-Life's Calendar.
Young Rorty--"What do you mean
when you soy you are gentleman be-
cause your are not in business? ''Oid
Horty-"I mean, sir, that to be q
gentleman l must have no business.
Young Rorty-"Ah, I understand nowl
You mean that you havo no business
to be gentleman. "-Brooklyn Life.