Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1893-11-24

excepting old Flora Temple, the trotter,
and one or two old-time runners, there
were only three world records that, by
universal consent, appeared to be regard
ed by the civilized world rs amounting
In dignity and importance to the unver-
sal blue ribbon, and by common consent
these were awarded TO Ananias, the fell
low VINO couldn't tell the TRUTH Judas
IscariOt, the hypocrite. and Benedict
Arnold. the very bright, but very treach-
erous traitor who came so near selling
out his country for pair of British
epaulets. This was the way matters
stood AS short IA period as twenty years
ago. Since then the world record craze
has set in with IA zeal that has surpassed
the spread of yellow fever in Il DahOmey
village and now it is the exception and
not the rule for worlds record of some
kind to be held in every village in Amer
lea. For instance there are all kinds of
world records for prize fighting, from
the heavyweight to the bullet-headed
pugiist whose anatomy is said to re-
semble the radiating makeup of the
spider; there are dozen world records
held by the ambitious straddlers of the
bicycle; score more are proud of the
ones they hold in athletics, ranging all
the way from "half-hammer jump" to
'skinning cat on II CREASED pole"
there are are good dozen on the differ
ent ways and conditions of swimming,
rowing, wrestling and cunning, to say
nothing of the hundreds of smaller ones,
but none tile less important to the hold
ers thereof, ranging all the way from
Indiana's champion pie eater to the inn
maculate gentleman in Chicago who
holds the proud distinction of being king
of the pg-stickers. Mississippi has the
honor of harboring the dusky gentleman
who holds the championship honors on
chicken stealing Texas has the man who
mas beat the world killing snakes;
Georgia the electric woman, who, not
satisfied with the natural fire of her
Zantippe makeup, has been endowed by
nature with enough electricity to run
plant in small town. Even the United
States senate, supposed by school boys
to be the personllication of dignity and
wisdom, recently went into the world
record business and astonished the
country by producing Il champion fit to
be crowned along with the pie eater
from Indiana or the champion Windmill
from Michigan-he spoke fourteen hours
on an empty stomach. There is no end
of champions claiming the honor of
string the largest number of children,
and the "Oldest inhabtant" lives in every
community; it Is queer fact that this
individual is always "a man. and we will
close this long list by adding, in short,
that every occupation, vocation. pro-
tession, sport, and condition of Lille has
as many world records as 1t has branches
and ofishoots, and that the only thing
under heaven that has not champion
and which stands alone now and will
stand alone till the crack of doom is that
which relates to the age of woman
UOOOuy ever nearu OF tine Oldest woman
in the world.
But to return to the trottng record
business. Reader, it is positively
humorous to think of it. but there are
now no fewer than seven hundred rec
ords, counting State records with the
others, allowing for forty-four States
and giving each year up to seven cham
pion and doubling for each sex and adj
ding once again for geldings! a little
figuring with your pencil will show all
of these and perhaps a hundred more.
As the whole thing does not appear to
be doing the trotting business very much
good, we think the time has come when
breeders should pay more attention to
the question of how much money each
horse is making and whether the family
is money-making family, and let the
question of records take secondary
POSITION [Clarkes Horse Review.