Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-05-18
WAITING FOR HIS PICTURE.
What a Washington NJ an Wrote To Crayo
Portrait Concern.

WAITING FOR HIS PICTURE.
What a Washington Man Wrote to q Crayoa
Portrait Concern.
NHERE ARE MORE WAYS OF KILLING
- cat than by choking him with bat
ter. and there are more ways Of making
money than by breaking stone on the road.
Some people fix themselves up little die and
make their own money. This plan, however,
has its drawbacks and generally leads In a long
run to striped suit and plenty Of exercise.
Other people work out nice little advertising
schemes and get there on the money just the
same. Sometimes they get there on the striped
suit also. One Of these nice little plans Is to
insert al ad- in a number of papers Offering 10
furnish any lady, gentleman, infant or animal
who will send along photograph an enlarged
crayon copy so true to life that II will speak,
sing, dance or bark, and all Of them for the
sum Of nothing. This kind Of offer proves
very attractive to persons who really recognize
how beautiful they are and what posterity win
miss IL deprived Of an enlarged portrait OF
themselves. The photographs are therefore
liable to roll in with considerable steadiness,
and as promptly they are sent Just 20
promptly comes back pathetic circular which
tells a sad, sad story.
language
the good faith OF the particular portrait COM
pany and Of their firm intention to do Just
what they have advertised and put up free
picture. which viii make Van Dyke turn In his
grave for very envy, but at this point the cir
cular hints of the tremendous number Of orders
ahead OF this particular sender and Of how long
In the natural course Of events he will have TO
wait for his masterpiece. Another paragraph
then relates in terms calculated to bring tears
from stone wall the awful cost which these
pictures entail on the makers and adds with Q
touch Of fattery, that q picture possessing the
beauty OF this one should be finished at once
and become a shining ornament TO the parior
without delay. The real gist Of the circular
will appear after all these preliminaries and
the unfortunate sender will be told that BY re-
uniting the sum Of fi-50 to cover the necessary
expenses the picture will be sent on at once and
will be a much haadsomer one than originally
intended. Now. sL50 is not . large sum, and
probably in many Of these cases the picture
would be worth the sum, but the method Of
getting the money approaches very Gloss to
petty fraud
One resident Of this city went partly through
the mill on one of these portrait games, but
drew back on the final deal. He, however. vas
something Of a wit as well as an artist Of no
mean ability, and be fixed up . pen and-ink
letter-head drawing, which showsa gentlemanly
from the country, while the well-drawn head
reads: 'office Of the Financial Relief Society"
The letter then goes on 10 say: "Gentlemens
Your letter Of dubious date, requesting loan
OF Sl50, has Just been received and hasten TO
inciose the amount desired. hope you won't
strain your eyes looking for it. am moro
than delighted to know that you are pleased
with the picture Of the Kid I sent you and II
You will send me <i50 within fifteen days from
the date OF this letter viii let you make the
picture and frame it with your magnificent
frame and French glass; and furthermore, TO
AIS An 0uy ~ sxb I'll
promise not to prosecute you IL the picture
won't walk out of the frame. would
rather you would not make Il too life
like, since the picture You made Of the
family awake at night crying for pereeoric.
The only thing they don't like about Il e the
full beard which their baby disclaims. For
how much will you sell An interest in your
game? The sawdust game has played out in
this section and 1 would like 10 change my bus
furnishing suckers at reasonable rnte. II you
viii send me $40 viii send you the names Of
100 Reubens, all friends OF mine and Just q
gullible as am, and will give you o written
guarantee that you can pull their legs out Of
joint or money refunded Remember. this
offer is only open for fifteen days from date Of
this letter, and under no circumstances will 10
be received after that time. Send your money
by postal note, money order or draft on any
bank except o sand bank. BY no means reggie
ter your letter, as that win cost you 10 cents.
the price Of two beers with trimmings, and
you might get sick il you missed your
lunch. / have not vet been able to communi-
cate with the dead men you gave as references,
but suppose they are all right Give my love
20 DIR. Talmage and let me know when he gets
enough and wishes TO draw out sm kind Of
lean and would like 20 get slice myself. Don't
forget to make the crayon, because / want TO
save II TO show the kid when he grows MP how
he did not look when be was young. have no
objection 10 your using this letter 10 q tessi-
monisl, 80 don't waste kilograms on me.
won't charge you anything for il, but I would
like to usk your permission TO look at Broadway
when visit New York have no doubt you
will own il by that time il suckers ripen fast
this spring"
1t is a safe bet that the writer Of that letter
will not get any picture At all. noteven 90 much
as q chrome of Washington crossing the Della
ware.