The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-03-26
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to be dumped or hoIsted into a petty Office %
Washington,
Judging bg good many of the pictures sens
out through the illustrated press associations
by some Of these correspondentlal gushers and
oveTsloppers during the administration just de-
funet half dozen OF the average alleged "bsllea
aud beauties" OF the capital would have scared
all the coyotes out Of the Bad Lands. During
the Sioux outbreak two winters ago ! sug-
gosted 10 the war department that might SUM
mnrily end all the troubles by sending O bevy
OF these wood-cutty darlings out TO the Pine
Ridge and Wounded Knee region. / main
talned that the widest savage tnat ever wore
war paint and breechclout would break bis
neck dozen times getting away from such an
appalling phalanx ofiapparitions.
We soon had an opportunity TO test my plan.
was then living on Devips lake, realm OF
which the only respectable feature Is the name.
Ono Sunday morning ia January, 1921 the pa
pers were filled with panicky dispatches about
the Turtle mountain Indians my most civilized
and agreeable neighbors, taking the war..path.
They were reported burning, ravaRing and mag
aacreing all over the frigd deserts that pass for
wheat farms about Bottineau. northeast OF my
place Settlers were said 10 he flying for their
lives. Frantic appeals were issued for troops,
arms and ammunition. The governor OF tbs
state kept the telegraph wires ablaze ordering
out the militia, and sent his heroic stan officers
eaVortng like redheadsd Bobadls here and
there and rywhere-sxoept whore they could
be OF use. The National Guard warriors of
Fargo, Grand Forks, Jimtown, Bismarck, He'll
Vile and other classic settlements were under
arms day and night. and visions OF soAlps and
carnage filled everybody's dreamG
In the nick OF time received big batch OF
papers. Washington's ink geysers OF gush and
slush were out In force. One paper contained q
two column rhapsody on the peerless beauties
or the season." and = lot OF stereotype portraits
Of the semi-divine young creatures, who we're
described In terms that split all puffery's
brazen tFumpets into hAtFpIns. as queenng it
in eapitoline society. Monday night hung the
paper with the "Beaaty Pictures" on tama.
rack tree on the Indian trail not far from my
cabin. Tuesday morning, our scouts, headed
by Death-Dealing Maj. Makee and Capt. Yorkey
reported that there was not an Indian, not a.
savage with a red hide left in all the neighbour
hood. They had folded their ghost shirts, like
skeiaddling Arabs, and fled 10 wild dismay
Within twenty four hours they were clear over
the Manitoba line and still R-running The
Turtle Mountain indian war was over. Beauty
such beauty-is power
6eriously, is ii not time, In the name OF
American decency-if there ia any such thing
to call halt Ia newspaperiai funkeyism and
ab1ect Jenkinsismf For four years q disguised
world has been deuged with adulation Of the
HRrrisons and Baby Mckee, the Millers, Mobiles
WanaInakers, Elkinses, CT ii omns cropoduza.
Who knows or cares where or how they are
to-dayf
The same slush engines are being turned
loose on the Clevelands and Baby Ruth, the
Steyensons, Hoke Smiths BisselIs and La
monts For gracious sake, call of the taffy-
squirts and give us q rest. l am tough In ems
durance, but the limit ia well.nigh reached.
Yours appealingly.