The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-05-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A curious woman-One who is not
Life.
A hollow mockery-The woodland
echo.-Truth.
A force pump-The cross examining
attorney. Truth.
A linn of the Iaw-Painting the de-
fendant black Truth.
It Is only in school that low grades
make uphill work.--Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
Nature covers herself with plaster
of mud TO cure that tired feeling in the
| spring.
Some men ale too mean to be happy
and Others too happy to be mean.-
Dansville IN. " Breeze.
"Who is to be chaperonp "Mrs.
Talklngton." "What foolishnessI Why,
she is a sufferer from insomuia."@
az wonder why she gave him the NIT.
| tent" "Oh, that was natural outcome
of the yarns he gave herl"-Truth.
! When man is "beside himself" he
generally demonstrates that he doesn't
/ llht buC s-A1OotOh SOhAANis
When woman is trying to write
letter on a half sheet of paper, much
may be said on both sides Texas Slft-
ings.
IF q woman can succeed in making
her husband proud of her she can get
almost anything she wants.-Dallas
News.
A carpet tack Is about the only thing
that has the "big head" aud still makes
success Of life.-Dansville IN. W
Breeze.
Where's the profit when spring makes
us happy and gay If it make ali the
microbes feel just the same ways
Washington Star.
The woman of lin tied means who il
always we'll dressed either devotes her
entire income or her entire intellect to
her clothes. s.-Life.
Mabel-'I wouldn't marry the best
man in the world" Jacques
you have made me the unhappiest OF
men. ."-Boston Courier.
Every mau thinks that modesty for
bids his telling you what he considers
the cleverest thing in the way OF a story
ever told.-Washington Star.
Many woman who resolves when
she is married to make over her husband,
ends by being content 20 make over her
bonnets.-Dansvllle IN. " Breeze.
And now with rod and line and hook,
The fisherman so bold,
Will go and sit down by the brook
A nd catch n fearful cold.
Kansas City Journal
al haven't any of the liquid quality
that musicians talk about" )" said the bass
drum, "but l can drown out the rest Of
the band, just the same. Washington
Star.
Mrs. Byer-"Those are nice looking
eggs" Grocer enthusiastically -"Yes,
indeed; they're birdsl" And then he
wondered why she didn't buy any
Troy Press.
"It's curious" mused Bjorkins, show
this law of compensation runs through
everything. Foi example, wherever
there is we'll of aunt you will always
find sychophant. ."-Chicago Tribune.
$50 l should make you very happy by
accepting you, counts" "HapPya Ah,
mademoisele, should die wiz zie hap
piness." "Really, countl You almost
tempt me TO say Yes brooklyn Life.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
This maxim let wIss people hur,
But take them together aud they are no
| match
For one pretty typewriter girl.
-Chica 20 Inter-Ocean.
At Dinner Party: Mistr ess-"But,
Mary, how often must tell you always
to serve on the left" Mary (from the
country)-"Oh, madam, but isn't thal
merely superstition. ."-Fligen de BIaet-
ter.
"Well, Couscillor, I hope you en-.
joyed yourself at my house last evening" D"
"Iudeed did, madame. As rule,
when drink tea can not slee ep after it,,
but your tea had not the least effect on
me. ".-Fliegende Blaetter.
Hawker-"My wife aud had it out
again this morning as to who should start
the fire." Jepson-" Which wonp
Hawker-"Nether. Before we finished
the argument became so hot my wife got
up and cooked breakfast on it."-Troy
Press.
, Mrs. Greyneck-"So George is en-
gagedP Mrs. Tangletongue -'Yes; ;
he'll be married in June" Mrs. Grey
neck-'I hope he has II young lady in
every way worthy of him" Mrs. Tangle-
tongue-"Oh, yes; think I eau safely
say that am satisfied in every way with
his iasco. boston Courier.
A Unique Reading Club.
A new club for reading aud the en-