The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-10-10
Zeke and Betsy Fight--Relief Comes
1eke aqu II" Slow--The Major Has An-
SLOW other Dream.

Zeke and Betsy Flght--Rehet ZONES
1eke aqu liz Slow-The Major Has An
Slow other Dream.
.B.e@3'Helol Mr.. Editor"
B.-"AasR-"Good morning, Major. Have
R~Sy9ua anything of consequence to relate
Eou anyS6dayw
eoddaya" B.-"Yes; me an Betsy had the
Hardest kind of a fight the other day.
hardest s1t.te1l you it was terrifck."
I auFo uIR..-''That is too bad. [ am sorry to
R@-"lhheaars anything of that kind. What
near anEERdsed the trouble7'
caused fheB.-"I tole Betsy that I believed
B->lPresident Cleveland was honest in his
FRe~afaenbeff6vin' that a gold standard would be
haEteEm agg1uIde thing. She lowed that nobody
Rguae n4R6fa Teller what had bin promised a
butte da6ffce in the eternal revenue service
office Anwould say that. Well, 1 got mad an
would saBetsy got mad an the rookus began"
5assy got R@-'Did anybody get hurt9"
&~D1B-"No, not much. Betsy got the
B f6flin' pin an ran me around the house
GoLan ptwfce an it waz all over"
DWFee ah, RE-"Oh, l thought there was a real
R-'8ght."
4ght." B.-''There wuz, but I have learned
81 That discreshun is the better part OF
Naat @@T4afer an when me an Betsy fight ]
FateF at5ust use ennuff discreshun to keep out
gust uses Che way. But Betsy amt got in a
81 . %g6od humor yet. l reckon I'll have
geoe btef buy her a new dress before she gets
9sr D9y friendly an sociable again. Say, has
z1anagSmmons an Elias bin confirmed yitF'
aama R-'No, not yet"
a-NB.-"That's too bad. [ wuz expectin'
b loEs of relief when they got fixed, but
+ots OF nHGongress keeps 0 n goin' down hill
1D9agaWe1l never get any relief. Say, had
Q het8e Awfullest dream tother mite 1 ever
she a~w4dFeamed."
@re&IA62rR what did you dream about7'
%B-"You see I wuz feelin' purity bad
B. Bekase 1 couldn't git an office under
oeEase Simmons, an 1 eat a lot of cabbage an
8EEaEho4meat fer supper, That night I dreamed
E1aat LEI went to the bad place. Old Nick cum
went % the door and says hello! who are
70 Gae you I tOle him my name an be
goas vented ter know if l wuz a free coin
~6a1aaaagG Allianceman or a Populist. l tole
age A4hfm1 wuz a non partisan an didn'
a1m l Come; there to talk politicks. He said
come NsVFen, you can't get in here until yoU
wen, Say what you are, Only goldbUgs are
say ~WAadmitted here now Then I tole hin
aeiaSa4awuz expectin' an Cfice in the eterna
WIZ $STenue service under Simmons. Gun
~1eFen3ffght in, said he, 'goldbugs an reve
Hsghb &hueo officers all get a front seat in thi
2ae @1here establishment We shook hand
mere aa8nd / walked in. l found lots of gold
and : bugs all around there, most ov then
2@gs aNwere meltin' gold in little ladies an
we're shfoHdin' money, then they would mel
9olaa4t 6ver again an keep moldin' money
8oEeEFesked Old Nick what they we're doin
A&skeShat fer. He said: oh, they are playin
NaA AScohtraction ov the currency That il
0h3#hat they did on earth and I Away
"G@S tyto let my guests practice whatevel
Try 10 bhey lid on earth. 1t keeps them healthy
Ghey makes them in good trim for burn
an mdAgopurposes. If I didn't let them gold
mgPHbag fellows play contraction of tn
pug Iearrency' they would give me lots O
o cuffe4houble.' I kept on walkin' around
4 1onolfer the floor wuz too hot to stand still
II Ter AahNFsaw a guide many fellers sittir
L an \ around with ragged clothes on a doir
Il aEoohnothin' but sit and watch the other fel
n aoIaG4efsm maxim gold money. I asked Oh
n lers mFtFek why they weren't mouldin' none.
q NICK 3 He lowed oh! they are them fel
o zoo. 4efs what didn't have any money Of
OF hEs NeaFth. They served the goldbugs al
" sEbnthe time an voted with them just to b
al the 4-Popufar with them. The goldbugs hav
n ENRuO T6Sp0CG 1Or GQ0m now ana 40 no
- no re45hile on them any more. They wi
n emile Fave to stay in here millions of years
II nave Forever, in fact, an watch them Teller
c7 horegmotidin' money, but they won't &c
monL4ny Of it. They were not goldbugs O
any oeatth an they are not ~here-they ar
ben, e~artnsfnpfy humbugs. They made thing
who hum fer the goldbugs every election
does ihnuIn butwe don't have any elections in tn
on POI SSSsfa6lIshment an, so they just kee
TAM ~ourn1n an scorchn'b because they hav
En- nlfnothin' else ter do When 1 got throug
Eh3 dream 1 found Betsy iobbin' me
Chr tne othe ribs an tellin' me to get up a.
I'm the makea fire. Cold sweat wuz runni
lgrt mak9ah over me. I'll tell you I won't be
as au oTg6ldbug an 1 amt hankerin' after
the feTen offs any more. Goodbye"
Are you busy2 Are you making moneyP
Are s9g6t1Bk to 1t; you are fortunate. If you are u