Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-06-11
In THE WRONG PLACE
The "ldltr' Wandls Into a Lovers Retreat
One Night
COURTSHIP, NEAR Lee NONuNEN!
The Babies wero Christencd-Looked
Like He Were a Corset.
Other Gossip.

terian doctrine OF infant baptism, for nv
forefathers schooled me in 1t long before |
learned the use of tobacco or began to ap-
preciate the merits of the rampant eagle
on the almighty dollar. And yet, despite
my views on the subject, l must admit
that never attended any of these christ
ening services until few weeks ago. We
have a sore-eyed presidential possibility in
our household, and his intellectual attain
monts are marvellous. Frequently the
youngster. though not yet year old,
Keeps the whole family awake during the
entire night by his accomplishments, and
his baritone proclivities lead me to believe
that in years to come he will figure proml-
nently before the public either as base
ball umpire or O second Tagilapetri. This
infant of the multItudinous Doctur-
mai murmurings was christened q
fortnight or so ago and all our
family went to see the dear little Gleep-
destroyer baptized. The services were the
sweetest have ever attended, aud pray
you. my good friends, not 10 mistake what
] am about to say for ridicule or improper
levity. | was profoundly impressed Witb
the gentle dignity Of the officiating minis
ter and the tender manner IN which he
baptized the little ones but o! those COO
ing. chsttering chuckling. clucking babies
were the FUNNIEST things ! ever saw. and
the manner in which their parents tired
gic Skill which would have done honor to
any general.
When | went around to the side door
where the grand aggregation of juvenile
chubbiness was bivouacked in carriages
my features burst into stnilo which
cracked the very freckles on my peach
blow complexion. There were babies OF
every shape and size ia the gathering Of
infdnfes ferribiies, aud the tactics employed
by the fond mothers and fathers IN try
ing to amuse them (and to fight OF the
flies) were marvellous. Most OF the pre-
ciOus little "toOtsie-wOOtsles were en-
train that is to say. they nearly all wore the
regulation long dresses, which so often
lead persons unacquainted with lnfantIle
architecture to erroneously infer that ba-
bies are born without feet and legs, but a
few were garbed in abbreviated skirts
which allowed full play for the wriggliues
of their fat. dImpled limbs. 1t was worth
a weeks salary COR several weeks salary IL
your earnings are no larger than mlne) to
see the dextrOus manner IN winch ono
6-foot-2-inch father manipulated his fu-
ture herr on his parental arm. while the
double plays" Of the twins, who dis
puted the supremacy of their single car
riage, were wonderful.
| marvelled greatly as to the wav in
which the minister would silence the little
chaos when they were taken into the
church, but the cutest part about 1t was
that he made no attempt to quiet them at
all. He let them DO just Us they pleased
and baptized them in all their spotless in
nocence as they cooed and prattied. This
made the services all the sweeter and the
lack Of restriction seemed thousand
times more natural.
BY that strange affinity which always
draws dogs to children two little yellow
terriers slipped unnoticed into the church,
and lust as the preacher was putting water
on the babies these bellicerent CANNES
slipped right into the midst of the mothers
ana fathers holding tho children. In an
instant every fuzzy-beaded cherub splcd
the dogs, and the cTescendo notes OF their
abnor1nally- developed lungs proclaimed
their delight by unanimous vote. As the
service progressed 1 fell TO sudyinP lnfan-
tile phrenology as eXemplitied IN the heads
of the babies before. me, and the manner
in which the hair sprouts on their much
kissed craniums. There were babies with
embryo ourls and infants with incipient
scalp-locks, youngsters with fuzzy heads
and brats with bristly skulls. dariInGs with
silky ringlets. youthful prodlgIes with
fine-spun bangs and " mothers joys" with
bald beads-yes. all, all were there in
their sweet, sinless ba5yhood. not yet
ready TO face the storms OF life. but
already anticipating 1T with many Il
squall.
The twins to whom | alluded above had
been adopted by n very kind hearted old
lady and her husband. Poor. little vocife-
rous things, their mother had died almost
before they had well began to porforate
the yielding ether with their shrIeks,
but al all-seeing Providence had taken
them IN hand The foster-parents
were the proudest. happiest people
iii all that throng eJ church, and
they openly proclaimed that the young
sters were the finest babies III the coun-
try-a fact which seventeen mothers and
a ike number of fathers present were pre-
pared 10 dispute to the last drop ot their
blood.
The old gentleman who had so gem
erously offered TO act as father for the
children said. while referring 20 their adop-
ton, to one OF his friends; We have
been wanting baby i'll our family for
seventeen years, and just to think, now We
have got hoo.'