The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-06-08
DEAD YET ALIVE.
The True and Pitiful Story Of a
San Francisco Leper.

The morning was bright and braclng,
the air stimulating as glass of cham
payne. was walking down the street
to business with my mind in a whirl of
happy thoughts AS turned into San
Francisco's leading thoroughfare and
Joined its surging tide of life, rushing
onward at full speed, scanned each
passing face in search of one which bore
the happiness reflected upon mine.
Humanity in every guise was hurry
ing to their various occupations. Some
were sad, others gay. Many were fol-
lowed by the grim phantom, care Few
looked genuinely happy. Though borne
along upon the human wave, | was
apart from tin an ideal world of my
own. With what cruel force it now
comes back to me. have lived it over,
nh. so many times-and now again it
confronts me-that glad day of nay sor-
row-steeped life. Again l am walking
down. the street in q happy reverie;
again ! see sweet face, lit up by a
pair of great, tender, brown eyes!
Again feel the clasp of warm little
hand in mine-the hand of my little
Jess--oh, God! is there no mercy for
such a stricken wretch? Slow, hot
tears well into my eyes, while memory
with bitter insistence holds up to my
vision the mirror of the past. OF what
was thinking? l was thinking of my
little love and the promise she made me
take the previous night. The thought
sent the blood leaping through my
veins. My pace quickened. "To live!
to live always l mentally cried. With
30 keen a sense of strength and eXhil-
aration, what is there in life to equal
the gracious gifts of love and
youth? then fell to wondering if all
the to-morrows of my existence would
be as that day, as my happy yesterdays.
] tried to Danish the nervous forebod-
reflections. Why allow anything to
trouble me? Did not have all that
young man ought to possess with which
to begin life-robust health, a lucra-
tive position in a great firm with fair
prospect of advancement, the respect of
my employers, and last and best of all,
my bonny jess? But my arm lis there
not always this but or ''if'' to mar
the greatest pleasures of life?)-this
arm of mine-this dead member of my
anatomy is my greatest source of I'M
easiness Before father lost his fortune
he took me through Europe in search
of medical aid. l was treated by sew
eral physicians, but my malady baffled
them, and father was finally obliged to
return to America with me uncured.
How strange that l should have lost
the use of my arm from the moment
that fell from that tree in the garden
child at the time. Since then years
have come and gone, yet it still hangs
helplessly by my side. Well, to humor
my little fiancee, l will consult physi-
clan tomorrow.
All that day l worked with vim
until the time of closing, and when
evening came went to see my darling
jess. AS entered she laid her dainty
head, with it's short crop of sunny
bronze hair. against my breast and
little happy sigh of content broke from
her. Ever and again her soft eloquent
eyes gazed tenderly into mine, then a
caress, whisper of endearment; and
that was all, for we had no need of
words. At parting she followed me to
the door and raising my helpless arm
laid it compassionately about her neck.
Her luminous eyes shone into mine with
q look of appeal, which understood.
II promise, little one, promise"
murmured passionately, and with lin
gering caress we parted.
Was there of all Gods creatures one
as blessed as I? And now what am 1?
Dead. and yet within sight and
sound of the world, longing for its joys
and pursuits, but fettered by the most
hideous fate of which the human mind
can conceive.
kept my promise to little Jess, and
the following morning repaired to the
nearest hospital to consult its medical
advisers. The head physician made a
careful examination and, after the
usual formula, brought in two of his
fellow practitioners and l was again
examined They then retired to an adj
joining room for consultation. Soon
after they reentered. But why did they
regard me with such grave looks of
compassion? What could it mean?
was perpleNed-vaguely uneasy.
DIR. Norris broke in upon my conjec-
lures and in serious tones said:
"loung man, fear our diagnosis of
your case will be terrible shock to
you. Are you man enough to meet it
bra~ely? Have You strength to face
what may be a crushing blow?"
Il trust have. SIR" | replied, with a
sudden contraction of the heart
1T is my painful duty" he said, ''to
inform you that there can be no cure
for your disease; you are afflicted with
leprosy."
"Leprosy!" ! gasped in tone of in
credulous horror. "Leprosy. leprosy!'
I repeated.
For the moment my brain refused to
grasp the revolving significance of that
word. gazed blankly at the solemn
faces of my doomsmen. l seemed to
have lost all power of motion. My
body was like heavy dead weight-my
eyeballs scared with the hot tears which
could not fall-and in fiery letters be-
fore my reeling vision was the awful
word "leprosy."
Il regret exceedingly" resumed the