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Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01
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Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

did you hear about the theatri.
cal company that got standed on
cannibal island?" NO" "Well
it happened, and the head of ths
tribe said afterwards that the best
part Of the meal got away while h'
was eating the supe.-P. \ S. 5
Co.'S Bulletin.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"Ths Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect

.Daily. Daily except Sunday. Carrying
passengers with permits.
Parlor car on day trains and sleeping cars on
night trains.
The direct line 10 Niagara Falls, Buffalo, New
| York, Boston, Detroit, Toledo, Chicago, and all
points In the United States and Canada
Through tickets TO all points in the United States
| and Canada.
J. WHITING. Ticket Agent.
| O.w. w.RUGGLEs, @. p. X T. Agt.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

The newspaper man is the great
writer of the peoples wrongs
Galveston News.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

"What was your objection to my
predecessor?" asked the missionary
of the aesthetic cannibal. "He was
utterly devoid Of TASTE" returned
the cannibal with wry face.--Har-
per's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Mamma-''And how did my little
pet get to sleep last night without
mammal" Little pet Papa tried
to sing to me like you do, an | hur-
ried up an went to sleep SOS not
to hear it."-Good News.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

When the young man becomes
engaged to a young lady he estab-
fishes protectorate. The wedding
is annexation. Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

There is not much difference be-
tween young mans first love
affair and the way he feels when he
first sits in BARRIERS chair.-Atchi-
son Globe.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUM0R.
II was on the woodland road
Amid the lights fantastic change
IF YOU can't drive with one hand
George. let me hold the reins.
Judge.
The newspaper man is the great
writer of the peoples wrongs
Galveston News.
In infancy we are generally most
inoffensive when ''up in arms. --
Yonkers Statesman.
Whatever ones lot in life, he
should have good deeds to show for
it.-Philadelphia it. Times.
To one travelling through the
country milestones are pretty good
signs of progress.-Troy Press.
Jagson says the proprietor of the
merry-go-round has a business whirl-
ed of his own Elmira Gazette.
The world is full of lion fighters,
but it is hard to find man who
won't run from a hornet.-Ram's
Horn.
Some of the funny stories told
about the fireside are enough to
make even the fire roar.-4 onkers
Statesman.
New father-"What's the bady
crying for?" Mother-"Because ]
told him he looked like you. New
York Morning Journal.
1t is claimed that monkeys can
talk, but whether this is true or not
it is certain that they can tail un-
fold.-Rocherter Democrat.
When the young man becomes
engaged to young lady he estab-
fishes a protectorate. The wedding
is annexation.- Baltimore Ameri-
can.
There is not much difference be-
tween young mans first love
affair and the way he feels when he
first sits III BARRIERS chair.-Atchi-
son Globe.
Kate.-"The brides uncle gave
her away" Bessie-"Couldn't he
get anything for her9' Kate
mo. Nothing but husband. y
Vogue.
ale offered her his hand and
fortune" "Did she accept?" NO;
the first was too large and the sec
ond too small. boston CONNER
cial Bulletin.
The people who abuse this world
most vehemently while enjoying all
its privileges are generally the ones
who raise great fuss over dying
Washington News.
Photographer-"Here's a picture
of your wife took to-day. | call
it a speaking likeness Husband
1t must be if its anything like
her."-Boston Transcript.
Tom-She's a daisy, amt she,
0 Bill?
, Bill--Daisy? Why, daisy amt
7 no sukumstancc to her. She's a
whole bookay.-Life.
Mrs. Tender-Do you think mar
rage is a failureP
Mrs. Weeds-Not much. My
. husband had 100000 insurance on
8 his life in my name.-Ex,
"What was your objection to my
predecessor" asked the missionary
of the aesthetic cannibal. "He was
utterly devoid Of taste" returned
the cannibal with wry face.--Har'
per's Bazaar.
Mamma-"And how did my little
10 NET oet To slepp last night without
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

1t is claimed that monkeys can
talk, but whether this is true or not
it is certain that they can a tail un-
fold.-Rocherter Democrat.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

In infancy we are generally most
inoffensive when "up in arms. -
Yonkers Statesman.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Did you-aw--weceive a valen-
tine from me, Miss Edgerly?"
"Yes-but | never suspected that
you sent it"
"Bah Jove, that's good. Ye-es
] had a fellah at the club diwect it,
We know"
"That's what deceived me. II
was i'm mans handwriting. Life
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Whatever ones lot in life, he
should have good deeds to show for
it.-Philadelphia Times.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

ale offered her his hand and
fortune" "Did she accept" No;
the first was too large and the sec
ond too small" Boston CONNER
cial Bulletin.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

New father-"What's the bady
crying for?" Mother-"Because ]
told him he looked like you. New
York Morning Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Kate--"The brides uncle gave
her away" Bessie-"Couldn't he
get anything for her?' Kate
mo. Nothing but husband. "
Nouun
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Mrs. Tender-Do you think mar
riage is faiiuro9
Mrs. Weeds-Not much. NJ,
husband had 100000 insurance OF
his life in my name.--Ex,
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Some of the funny stories told
about the freside are enough to
make even the fire roar.-Yo onkers
Statesman.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Houston Congratulate me, old
man. I was married yesterday
Mrs. Morsely."
Bleecker Mrs. Moorely. Why
her third husband has just died"
Houston-"Well. you don't sup
pose | would have married her if he
hadn't died. do you 2"-Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

To one travelling through the
country milestones are pretty good
signs of progress.-Troy Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Tom She's a daisy, amt she,
Bill?
BiIl--Daisy? Why, "A daisy amt
no sukumstancc to her. She's a
whole bookay.-Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

The people who abuse this world
most vehemently while enjoying all
its privileges are generally the ones
who raise great fuss over dying
Washington News,
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Jagson says the proprietor OF the
merry-go-round has a business whirl-
ed of his own.- Elmira Gazette.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent
Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.

Will take chargeof estates for residents and non
residents collect rents. pay taxes place insurance
obtain abstracts Of title. etc.
Office hours-10 to 12A. NJ, 4to6P.M.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

The world is full Of lion fighters,
but it is hard to find man who
won't run from a hornet.-Ram' S
Horn.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01

Photographer Here's picture
of your wife took to-day. call
it speaking likeness Husband
must be if its anything like
her." Boston Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-03-01
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R,

| Accom- Mail and Mail and Accom-
modation Express. Express. mediation.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22
Dentists Secrets.

A long chapter of dentists secrets
the secrets revealed to them by custom
ers made unconscious but talkative by
gas-has been revealed by q conscience
less tooth puller upin Pittsburg. One
society young lady swore several lines
OF blank spaces while tooth was being
drawn. A burglar taken from Jail to
have a tooth pulled confessed all the
details of his crime when under the sin
fiuence' and parted with 10 years of
liberty. Occasinally men want to fight
and are very strong; others are Jolly
and confidential.
The most interesting story of the
series is this, told by one dentist of
another: II know of a young dentist
who was head over heels in love with
pretty girl, but he could never make
any headway with her. He was bash
full. That was the main trouble. One
day she came to him to have q tooth
pulled. He administered gas, and
before she revived she let enough drop
to assure my friend that il he proposed
he wouldn't be rejected. She is his
wife today, and If it had not been for
the gas I don't suppose the wedding
would ever have come of. Wash
ington News.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22
Are You Ambitious {!

Especially, are you an ambitious wo-
man anxious to make career for your
self? ? Then you will be more than in
terested 10 THE Road to Fame or For
tune, published in Demorest's Family
Magazine for December, which is
faithful chronicle of how ambitious
girls desiious Of becoming successful
business women live and labor in New
York. giving suggestions and valuable
information that can not fail to be of
inestimable benefit to all talented and
ambitious girls. And this is an ideal
Christmas number, also. The lovely
water color ibid Santa Clause Bring
You?" will appeal to everyone, young
or old. christmas Eve at Bethle-
hem, with its numerous illustrations,
takes one back to the first Christm as
Eve, and tells how the traditions are
presery and what ceremonies are
observed at the present day. There are
two splendid Christmas stories splend-
idly illustrated /; IAN Excursion to the
Land of Dolls" also illustrated, will
interest all little maidens who love
their dolls; there is charming Christ
mas play, 1.-THE prodigal, which will
afford most timely entertainment;
beautiful christmas carol with origi-
nal words and music, arranged so that
it is appropriate for church, school, or
the home circle; there are numberless
suggestions for Christmas gifts; the
many departments are full to over
flowing with good things and every
one who loves babies will be charmed
with the portraits of nearly a hundred
who are competitor for the "Baby
Prize" offered by this Magazine. In
deed, the December number is gener-
Gus twenty cents worth but it is only
fair sample of what is furnished
twelve year for SO. Published by
w. Jennings Demorest is East 14th
St., New Xork.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22

the meeting of the Brethren at New
Hope, which convened on SATURDAY.
and Sunday last. Abe Sellers is pre-
pairing to improve his home on Flint
Hill. j. G. Bacon has sold his stock of
goods at Keeblers X Roads to a Mr..
Sylvester, who Will continue business
at the old stand. Squire Bacon is hav.
ing his residence overhauled and re.
modelled, which, when complete will be
both attractive and substantial. w.
M. susong has moved into his property
recently vacated by c. F. Crumley.
James Morrell is looking quite sad of
late and is often heard inquiring how
far 1t is to Vance's Tank; we think he
has notion of travelling some in the
near future. Mrs. H. Bales. of Greene
County, was visiting her father, E.
Morrell last week. If you have any
turkeys to sell, call on Buck Keefauyer.
We wonder was has become of dux.
FAD
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22
A Field for Mothers.

1t lie in America that we find the boys
and girls smart beyond their years, and
with more nerve tissue than they know
what to do with. The little folks re.
mind us of adult age; we may well
call them little men and women. "
They already know too much they are
active in temperament because they
can not be otherwise and even before
they are grown they will be rushed
into society. The world around them
moves fast, and they are racing along
with it. The child eats at his father 3
table, takes the same food and drink,
and it will be well if he does not have
similar smoke after each meal. Be-
fore he reaches manhood he will have
laid the foundations for dyspepsia ;and
his little sister will not be q great way
behind him.
Now practical question in this con-
nection is what the mothers have to do
with it. We hear q great deal about
what women are doing in science, lit
erature, art, invention, and other fields
of human industry. This is we'll; but
who is studying the ply ysical we'll being
of the next generationp Bones and
muscles,and the bodily tissues generally
are made from the food we eat and
they are often badly deteriorated and
the blood poisoned either by taking food
that is not suited to the needs of the
system, or that which is spoiled with
condiments. Surely here is a field for
the mothers. Let them see to it that the
young and growing child is not injured
for life by any fundamental errors in
its diotetic habits. No doubt the taste
for strong drinks, tobacco, and many
forms of dissipation is too often acquired
in the home and at the family table
Mothers, it is to be feared, do not suf
ficiently realize the importance of this
subject, nor the close connection that
exists between the tastes acquired in
early life and the habits which persist
in later years.-From "Sanitarian, Z" in
Demorest's Family Magazine for De-
cember.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22

US, We humbly surrender ourselves
to thee. DO with us as thou wilt. Tho
wheat is but 40 cents bushel, we love
thee; though cotton is low we love
thee; though business is dull we love
thee; though thousands, millions are
out of employment we love the tho
our children are clothed in rags we
love thee though our wife, the dear
companion of our bosom, is scantily
dressed and looks shabby she can I go
to church, we love thee, though we
are sinking deeper in debt, and poverty
is knocking at the door, and hunger
staring us in the face, we love thee still.
This shows cur gret love and faith for
thee. Our wives and children we are
willing to sacrifice even as the Hin
doc mother sacrifices her offspring by
throwing it under the crushing wheels,
OF the juggernaut. Oh, mighty Cleve-
land, words can not express our love
for thee. We love our party, too. What
care we about the promises it made Z?
We know it promised free silver and
we know it won't give it to us. but we
will stick to the party. We know we
said if 1t did not do the things it prom
ised to do we would leave it, We
thought then we had some manhood
about us, but we amt. We have not
independence. Thou, oh mighty Cleve.
land, hast all the manhood and indie.
pendence in the party. We are fools,
liars, lickspittles, mudsills. Last year
we favored free silver, and now have
to oppose it. We favored it then be-
cause we thought it right. We oppose
it now, most adored master, because
thou tellest US to. Did ever dog serve
his master more faithfully Did ever
dog get less for itp Oh, mighty
master, we are ever ready to serve thee
and the party. All the pay we ask is
to be patted on the back by some local
politician and called good Democrat
We thank thee for the banks that have
busted and thousands of business fail.
ures since thou has come to power, we
thank thee for what thou hast not done
for the people, we thank thee for all
these things because it's Our duty as
good Democrats to do so. 1t may 20
gainst the grain, but we will take our
medicine. Thou art more account
than all of us put together. And now
our great political father we leave us
in thy care. Do with Us as thou wilt
Kick silver into the middle of the next
century issue more bonds preserve
the Mckinley bill establish State
banks; foster trusts bribe Congress-
men with patronage; fish when thou
wilt; and hunt snipe when thou carest
to, and we will endorse every thing
thou doest, carry Cleveland roosters,
campaign torches, and forever more
sing thy praises. Amen.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22

The December issue of the Delineator
is called the Christmas Number, and is
rich in material pertaining to the holi.
day season. The styles for the month
are exceptionally handsome and appro.
pirate, and the younger members of the
family receive special attention in an
illustrated article entitled Party Dresses
for Misses and Girls, There is also an
appropriate article on Fashions in Fur
Garments. A paper that Is invaluable
to all ladies is called Some Suggestions
for Home Made Christmas Gifts, and
the housewife is especially considered
in Dainty Desserts for the Holiday
Season. Christmas Legend and Folk
Lore is most Interestingly treated, and
as an antidote there is q description of
very modern Kriss Kringle Party.
The children will be delighted with the
entertainment provided for them, and
the parents will appreciate the ideas
contained in The Children's g Christmas.
In addition to this special matter there
are articles on many popular subjects.
Dancing and Lawn Tennis, the two
papers in the Sports and Pastimt series
are brought to close this month; House.
hold Renovation tells about Floor
Coverings, Furniture and Moths, Child
Life deals with Recreation for Boys and
Girls, Physical Culture continues in
struction in Expression, and Around the
Tea Table makes us acquainted with
fashionable fancies of the season. Nov.
elites are illustrated in the papers on
knitting, Crocheting, Tatting, etc.,
with full instructions for making. This
Number is an excellent one with which
to begin a subscription, which costs
One Dollar a year; Single Copies, FIT.
teen Gents. Address Orders to The
Butterick Publishing Co. Limited, 40
East Fourteenth Street, New York.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22
Far and Wide.

Not on this broad continent alone.
but in malarial breeding tropical re-
gions, in Guatemala, Mexico, South
America, the Isthmus of Panama, and
elsewhere, Hostetter's Stomach Bittes
affords to inhabitants and soiourners
protection against malaria. The min.
or, the freshly arrived immigrant, the
tiller of the virgin soil newly robbed of
its forests by the axe of the pioneer, find
in the superb antifebrile specific q
preserver against the poisonous miasma
which in vast districts rich in natural
resources, is yet fertile in disease. Il
annihilates disorders Of the stomach,
liver and bowels, fortifes those who
use It against rheumatic ailments bred
and fostered by outdoor exposure; in
fuses genial warmth into frame chill
cd by rigorous temperature, aud robs
of their power TO harm morning and
evening mists and vapors laden with
hurtfulness; strengthens the weak and
conquers incipient kidney trouble.
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22
A Democratic PRAYER

An exchange publishes model
Democratic prayer" From it we
make the following extract. 1t is
pretty tough on our Democratic friends.
but we doubt if they can conscient-
ouslv deny the truth of it:
Oh, almighty and all powerful Cleve-
land, thou who art in Washington,
when not fishing, thou who art the
father of Ruth and Ruth h's sist, r, and
the god father of the Democratic party
tits father wouldn't own it if he was
here, we hail thy name as the great
political prophet of the century. We
bow down before thee in humble poll
ticial obedience. When thou sayest
go, we go; when thou sayest come, we
come. We have no desire but to serve
thee. II you say black is white, we
will swear to it, and lick the everlast.
ing stuffin' out of the man who dis.
putes it. When thou takest snuff we
will sneeze; when thou sayest free
silver we will echo thy words; when
thou sayest gold then gold it is. We
are Democrats after the modern type.
Our business s.to vote the ticket and
vote er straight, Whist is it to us
whether we have free silver or not
We are but dogs that eat the crumbs
that fall from our masters tables.
When the crumbs fall we wag our tails;
when they fall faster; when they don Y
fall we wait until they do. This is
Democracy. This is the kind of Demo.
cracy that elected thee, almighty
Cleveland. Oh, most adored master,
We love the for what thou has done for
Herald and tribune. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1869-current, 1893-11-22
ATTACKED by A COUGAR.
The FerOcious Brute Finally Tramp.
led to Death by a Horse.

j. P. Jones, who lives near Perhama
Crook County, had rather startling
adventure with cougar. He was
speaking Of his experience 10 some
friends and said:
VI mounted horse and went on a
hunting expedition to a place about 20
miles from Perhama, taking with me an
Irish staghound and an English pointer.
l brought down a deer and brown
bear, which l left at farmhouse,
and bagged q number of wild pigeons
and other fowl. While returning home
about 10 O'Clock at night along a lone
ly road about five miles from Perhama,
| noticed what seemed to be two balls
of fire in tree but a yard ahead of
me, and which stood but foot or two
from the road. At the same instant
my horse, which is what is known in
the COW counties as and original
herder. drew up with startled neigh,
almost throwing me from the saddle.
l took close look at the thing in the
tree and saw that it was a cougar
crouched for spring.
"As tried to unstrap my rifle the
animal sprang, but missed its mark
and passed just over the horse g neck
and about two inches from me. 1t
rolled in the road, but recovered and
sDrang again, this time at the horses
throat. The horse bucked and threw
me to the ground, half stunning me.
The cougar then rushed upon me, but
the staghound, which had been stand
ing by, baying furiously, corralled it.
There was brief but terrific fight, and
the dog lay dead not five feet from
me. The pointer had disappeard, while
the horse stood trembling in every
limb. The panther again sprang at
him, landing upon his back, and away
the horse went.
~ recovered my feet in few min.
utes, unstrappod my rifle and started
In pursuit Five hundred yards from
the scene of the encoun ter found the
horse standing still and the cougar ly-
ing dead at his feet The horse bore
marks of the cougars claws upon his
back, and his flesh was torn in several
places. The cougars head was smash
ed, presumably by his horses heels.
can not account for the result of the
strange encounter except by the theory
that limb of large oak tree, hanging
low and directly over the road, struck
the cougar and swept it off the horses
back, and the horse took advantage of
the opportunity to trample him to death.
The horse is vicious, as all Original
herders' are. These horses have been
known to fight for hours until one or
the other fell, but this is the first tie
have heard of one fighting cougar.
l have the animals skin and will keep
1t as memento of the encounter. The
horse was not badly injured and will
soon be ready for service again. ~
Portland Oregonian.