Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-07-13
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to-
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


A GOOD mirror always tells the
truth, no matter upon whom it re-
fleets. Troy Press.
WHEREVER the experienced blind
man moves there is an era Of good
feeling. Press.
WHEN engineers and trainmen are
we'll trained the locomotive goes off
on toot. -Picayune.
No MATTER how cheap quinine may
be it is always drug on the market.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
THE ice man now calls every morn
ing at the home of the coal man and
does him up.-DallaS News.
POLICE officers in hoodlum districts
naturally expect to have many tough
experience. Buffalo Courier.
WHEN a mercantile concern takes
in sail" it is in the interest OF the
balance-sheet. Lowell Courier.
A REGULARITY about it is that
when money is tight it's business
that's apt to stagger. -Philadelphia
Times.
WITH reference to these shows it
may be said a dogs ancestral tree
cannot be told by it's bark. -Phila
delphia Times.
THE man who knows that he was
one kind of a fool yesterday often has
suspicion that he is some other
kind to-day. Horn.
| Mrs. SLIMDIET--"DOn' you find T.
little lonesome sitting down to
luncheon all alone?" Bordaire-"Oh,
no, the cheese is here. Truth.
The women in an insane asylum
| look, somehow. like the women you
meet at home with church enter
| tainment on their hands. -Atchison
| Globe.
WHAT makes Swiggins such an
| uncOnScionable liar?" "Stinginess.
He has as many facts as anybody,
| but he hates to give them out. -
Chicago Tribune.
The mosquito-pest season seems to
have reached Boston, when q clergy
man preached a sermon the other day
| on "The Bigness Of Little Things. >
Philadelphia Ledger.
WHEN a man considers how easy he
finds it to lend money, he cannot help
wondering sometimes that he finds it
so hard to get anybody else to lend
money to him.-TeXas Siftings.
Music TEACHER-"I don't know
why you are displeased. Your daugh-
ter really sings very we'll" Father
Eyes; but how is it that she never
sings anything but soprano. "-Schalk.
HICKs-"Brown seems wide awake
enough when at his business, but at
home he is fearfully absent-minded.
Wicks-"But then his wife has a
mind of her own, and 1t is quite un-
necessary that he should take his
| home with him. "-Boston Courier.
A PRIVATE soldier, walking arm
in-arm with his sweetheart, met his
sergeant when about to enter cheap
restaurant. He respectfully intro
duced her to him: Sergeant, my sis
teri" ayes, yes" was the reply. Il
know; she was mine once. lie Lit
| toral.
THE ELDER noticed that Mrs.
! Van Vests father died the other day
and left her lot of land out in Da-
kota ] suppose she will separate
from Van West now. The younger
Separate? Why so? The elder
She will have very good grounds for
divorce, you Brooklyn Life.
LOOK at me, ma'am," said the
man who was asking for something
to eat. Amt l the picture OF
despair" Il don't know anything
Lo o;,,' mir ,1r @ no
swered, glancing at the ak; "but un-
less you're in the wood-cut line you
can't get anything to eat here. p
| Washington Star.
The conversation turned on the
| number thirteen. the spilling of salt,
knives and forks placed crosswise,
and other kinds Of Superstitions.
"You need not laugh at similar be-
liefs, gravely remarked Tranquil
letti "An uncle of mine at the age
of IT committed the imprudence of
going to dinner at which the guests.
numbered thirteen. sand he died
that very evening"" mo, bnt ex-
actly thirteen years afterward. -
Gazetta Piedmontess.
YES, / may take few summer
bcarders this year" replied the old
farmer. after asking for pound OF
regular saleratus, but Pm goin' TO
hev fair understanding in the out
SET" About WHAT" wall, princi-
pally as to butter'n eggs and cream
and such, but particularly as To-
sleepin' We took an artist from
New York last summer who lpsot
the hull house when he found he was
to sleep with the hired man, and |
actually believe he kept governor
from engagin' with US at 81 week
and washin and mendin' throwed
in. Detroit Free Press.