Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-06-24
PITH AND POINT.

A call to arms-"Come, John, and
take the baby. Troy Press.
Caught on the fy-The housekeeper
who doesn't use screens. - Lowell
Courier.
The perpetually irascible man is
known by his standing choler. Boston
Courier.
Tea and coffee are well termed
'1uxuries of the grocer kind. Texas
Siftings.
A drop of ink will make dude
think-if fit sspattered on his trousers.
-Newburg Register.
Bridget, did you hear me call =
Eyes, mum but you told me the other
day never to answer you back. Tit
Bits
The Daughter CT an Editor why
did you reject him?' "He was not
accompanied by stamps "--Life's Cal
endar
While the man who seasons sausage
may not be philosopher, he often
has a sage air about him. Buffalo
Courier.
Those were indeed good old times
Whenever knight saw his creditors
approaching, he simply pulled up his
drawbridge.
Teacher ''When water becomes ice,
what is the great change that takes
placer" Pupil-"T change in price !"
Detroit Tribune.
''Does Irvington keep carriage
since he married." sob, yes; / see
him wheeling it most every day. -
Indianapolis Journal.
PARENT is your birthday,
Tommy. What can do for you that
will cause you pleasure?' Tommy
Spank Johnny. "--Tit-Bits.
Mr.. Gospel-"Robbie,i is that good
book you are reading?' Robbie-'1
guess not, cause I've enjoyed every
word of it. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Any man may be infatuated with his
profession, but the aeronaut bears the
distinction of being perfectly carried
away with it.--Union County Stand
ard.
Hicks did you hear about Brash $
death? He died quite suddenly"
Wicks-'It was like him. He always
was SO impulsive, you know. Boston
Transcript.
Chow was it Miggs had to pay a
dollar for a cup of coffee?" "Well,
you see he shutters, and they charged
ten cents for every time he repeated
the word coffee"
Mamma-"Oh, dear l can't find
baby's picture book, and I've looked
everywhere for it" Papa Never
mind give him the morning paper.
Boston Transcript.
The papers are now full CT benevo-
lent suggestions about freshair
schemes, but none of them include any
hints concerning the hand-organ. -
Philadelphia Times.
'It's strange that your children are
not the least afraid of the animals in
the cages. ''No it isn't; they have
been brought up in fiat with JAM
tor. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
"You always get the best attention
in those parlor cars. Do you fee the
porters?" "No, indeed ] found a
cheaper way than that I bought my
own car. IF. B. Q. Monthly.
This is not altogether TIE kind Of
house / counted on, said suburban
resident, showing his new residence to
friend, "but the architect says it
suits him Philadelphia Record.
II never knew any one who hated
mankind in general to the degree that
Binkles does, said one student to an
other. Hum. That explains his
purpose in taking up the profession OF
dentistry. Washington Star.
What did the audience do when
the terrible explosion occurred in the
gallery Manager They applaud.
ed. Mercy, why?' you see it
was Wagner concert, and they
thought that was the first number on
the programme st. Louis Republic.
"Have your hair trimmed?' asked
the barber. "Trimmed," echoed
Farmer Begosh. Now, lookye here,
don't want no Jokes. came here to
git my hair cut, an l cont want no
trimmins at all Did ye think !
wanted We ter do it up in Tibbons?''-
Washington Star
IF that mans watch hal rim down.
and only needed winding" said the
apprentice, why didn't you wind it
and hand il back to him." You are
no Judge of human nature, my boy"
said the old ieweler. 'If I had done
that would have lost his trade for
ever. And he put dollar tag on it
and hung it mp in his window.-Chi-