The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-06-04

From head TO foot. when IN the hall
hear their massive footsteps fall.
Full long, 1 know. their bills have stood
And now they're coming after blood.
And 10 my Office every day
They come and stay, and stay. and stay
But I've been absent all the week:
In vain those "dunners" seek and seek
For as i have no blood" TO spare,
never let them catch me there.
But long before their time TO come,
stick card: I'm sick at home"
Upon my door; and every day
] go away. and stay and stay
No more with lightsOme tread they walk,
No more in honeyed tones they talk;
But loud Of voice and loud of tread
The noise they make would wake the
dead
Their steps are like the steps Of fate
AS early dawn, or evening late.
They wear their shoes and patience
through.
In calling for that balance due"
And tones. I notice too. Of late
Have lost that bill-cOllectors trait;
Polite no longer-now they roar.
While standing at my Office door
They ask me for that difference due"
And what do you intend TO dor
AS if they thought 1 really knew
is heard the building through and
through.
Sometimes l stand upon the stair,
And watch them creeping toward my
lair,
And when they find I am not there.
They stand and swear and swear, and
swear
Such oaths-theyre experts in the art,
And know the choicest ones by heart
Such oaths as ne'er were heard before.
They breathe around my Office door.
Those daily duns. oh. what a lot
OF different kinds Of bills they've got
Here's one for champagne ale and punch,
The night we had that dainty lunch.
Here's one for clothes, long thrown aside:
They're shrunk, too, since 1 had them
dyed.
Peep at me from this little bill;
Dark eyes, that make my pulses thrill,
Behind the figures now ] trace
The anxious workings OF my face.
Here's candy sent her-box on box;
] paid as long as l had the rocks"
Ali well. no more send her sweets;
No box Of Huylers now she eats
"On me-" and now l think with signs,
She's changed the basis OF supplies,
And here's q bin for Office rent;
] guess tits well and fairly meant;
But somehow, still, l fail to see
Why he should send a bill TO me.
neved use it-that III swear,
Although my sign is hanging there
Twas put there merely for a blind"
Where duns might seek, but never find
I'm told that daily several men
Call there for me- and call again,
And though they find me, beyond doubt
They somehow always find me out.
Now, ] don't owe this man a cent,
And If he really wants his rent,
He'd better send 1T 10 the dun,
IT. L.. 81, he,
Full many a man, whose name before
Like mine--was painted on that door
Has found it easier for TO hide,
Than pay for all the stuff he "buyed."
Thus shall il be, when / am gone,
The little game will still go on.
Some other man will hang his sign
Where now they tell me hangeth mine;
And other duns will soon appear
In search of him who liveth there;
And read with many an oath and frown
That same old motto: "Out Of Town"
Everything has freaks at times. Even
the English language, which we Anne
ricans regard as almost perfect as a
means for expressing ideas on the part
of those who are so fortunate as to pos
sess those treasures, has peculiarities.
Yes. the good old Anglo-SaXon tongue has
It's freaks Did you ever think about It?
We'll, let me mention a few examples. In
my time, when we used to attend enter
tainments in the way Of corn-shucking
and cake-walks, the general verdict after
the entertainment was that Everybody
had hog-killing time" in the sense that
the occasion was rich with enjoyment fol
all who attended. But now L see in the
newspapers such expressions as a thor
oughly unique affair." "a recherche
H.. nd talaft.
ceits," too, figures conspicuously in the
most modern descriptions of pancake
hats. floral decorations, &C., &c. This
word originally meant "eccentricities.'
in the case of the present style of wo
mems sleeves the original meaning finds
ready application, while the more
modern signihcation, 'puffed up" may
have been adopted for the express pur
pose of crinoline. which, by the way
seems TO be losing its attraction very
rapidly, one Is glad to know when ii Il
remembered that pavements in Richmond
are only so broad. Then one refers 4
gowns as exquisite creations" A "cre
alton" means producing something GU
of nothing.' The last seasons debu
tante would feel indignant If you SHOULD
speak of her handsomest evening gown
as nothing" And yet it was made OF
nothing, practically speaking. when IN,
quantity of material above the waist /.
taken into consideration. You often heal
people speak of swell luncheons." How
erroneous! Why, a foreigner would a
once be led 10 infer that dried apple.
and cold water comprised The menu
a common phrase is full dress" as ap
piled TO a young lady attfred in IN,
most moderL style Of evening dress. Tn,
phrase seems 10 be a verbal contradiction
unless, perhaps. II be applied I'm the same
sense as when we say dressed fowl, >
meaning picked fowl" Yes. the Anglo
Saxon tongue has some unaccountabl,
peculiarities.
But want 10 ten about last Tuesday
evening at a certain drugstore on MAR
street. where the usual delegation haC
assembled promptly 10 narrate their wal
experiences one old "silver gray" hat
just related a thrilling experience, IN
which he himself had emptied eight sad
dies OF as many blue coats, who were II
hot pursuit. Everybody listened with
breathless interest, and then the long
WHISPERED ex-captain narrated his hair
breadth escape from a cavalry detach
ment. This. too, met with decided favor
from all, except n little man, who sa
complacently twisting his moustache ant
looking trife sceptical After a mira
culous story, In which a one-aunel
veteran alone captured thirty-two Unlor
cavalrymen by an impromptu piece OF
military cleverness. and remarkable feat
on the part of the old veteran who
swan the James river with thIrty-on.
bullets In bis body. the little man asked