Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-04-01
PITIl AND POINT.

E1u az 'S'NrN'
handcuff-A blow with the fist.
A monster mass meeting-Collision o.
ocean steamers.
Eternal vigilance very often brings on
the price OF spectacles. --Pucl.
A burning question-When will tho
world come to an end2-Truth.
Whatever ones lot in life, he should
have good deeds to show fer it.-Pnila-
delphia Times.
If anybody's actions speak louder than
words they must be those Of the bass
drummer.-Troy Press.
The trouble with the labor agitator is
that he wants to become the capitalist
whom he hates. Life.
A bald headed mans powers of ref &C.
ton are greatly increased under an e.ec-
trio light. Washington Star.
The best kind of standing army is
the one that will stand in the face of IA
enemy.-New Orleans Picayune.
Jagson says we never know how bal
our friends can be till we see them Ia
amateur theatricals. --Elmira Gazette.
He who loves and runs away
May live to love anotha r day,
But as rule, | am afraid
lie also loves another maid.
PUCK,
policemen are rather clauuish, amt
they" eyes, I've noticed them ctIo-
bling together frequently. New YORK
Press.
Ethcl-"Did you enjoy the playing at
the concert as much as you "x2ectc ~
He!eu-"Oh, no; the pianls.'s aair WAS
cut real shors."
"What are you marking those collars
fors You said they didn't dt.' "rhlts
it; if put my name on them I'll never
see them again. Chicago Inter Ocean.
"Well,' said the philosophic young
man when he saw her with another, "4m
not gong to have fit simply because
I've been cut out. Washington Star.
Seated at the psrior grant.
she makes picture fair;
But when TO play sne lifts nsr htnt.
On, let me De elsewhere
Chicago News Record.
Miss Elderbody-'I met Mr.. Blake at
thereception last evening"" Miss Port
Eyes, he told me he saw you.- He said
It was such pleasure to meet an old face
in such crowd"
Waton-"ls the fare improving at
your boarding place auy9' Burtol--
"On, yes; the butter is considerably
stronger than it was last week. "-Cli.
cago Inter Ocean.
Mrs. B con-AtI think Mts. Kuock.
about dresses very quietly, don't you'"
Mrs. Egbert-"You wouldn't think so
IL you lived IN the fat under her, as |
do. Statesman.
Author-"Well what do you think
of my new dramai' Friendly Critic
splendid! The villain. in particular is
admirably portrayed. The very words
be utters are stolen. Life.
Miss Lily latter the proposal 81 don't
think you had better see papa to-day.
Tom; my dressmsker has just been here
with her BILL" Tom Featherhesd-
That is Just the time. He will be glad
to get rid fyou."
She-"So you saw my husband for
the first time last evening. Does he re.
mind you Of any of his fsmilyl" He
ayes, he reminded me of his wife, and
said | needn't let on to you where saw
INN. Boston Transcript.
81 tried my poem on a dog, sir, as
you advised" said the poet. SWELL"
said the editor, "1hat was the RESULT"
al was arrested by an officer OF the So.
ciety for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals. Brooklyn Life.
Briggs-"I have never told you about
the smart things my little boy does aud
says, have II" Craggs-"You never
have" Briggs-"Thcn don't you think
you can find it convenient to len me
S25w- indianapolis Journal.
Warden-"we usually give prisoners
the same general line of work to do here
that they had outside. Nov, what line
were you inl' latter Torn--"G madea
speciality er-wiuding eight day
clocks. New YORK Herald.
Jungerman-"Whet | marry the very
first thing meau to do is to settle the
question as to who is boss" Altman
"Id advise you not TO. You'll find
yourself sight better off. by remaining
IN ignorance. indianapolis Journal.
Chappie-"Td just like to know what
you mean by being engaged to both
Cholly aud me at once" Miss Pinkie-
"Why, bless me, there is no harm done;
sou cant either of you afford to marry
rue, you know. '-iudianapoiis Journal.
A Dresden workingnar has been for
-. oa,Id tho ,ar.n