Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1893-04-15
TEACHING A DUDE MANNERS
He Didn't Whip the Dude, but Earned n
SOn-in-LaW.

} TEACHING A DUDE MANNERS
He Didn't Whip the Dude, but Earned
SOn-in-LaW.
| A number of men were sitting il
the bar-room of one of our hotels re
Gently gazing out of the window a
the never ceasing stream of humanir,
that moved by, each going his owl
peculiar way, after his own peculiar
manner.
Among the many passengers was 3
young man who seemed to be all shirt
collar and plaid wrappings-in fact
man who would be denominated 3
'dude" in almost any communitv.
He tripped along with an air of un.
concern, as though not over anxious
to come in contact with any of those
who were his fellow travellers for the
moment.
There now," said a commercial
traveller. "Id just like to 90 out
and take that thing by the Dape OF
the neck and twist it in two"
swell, should say so," responded
the Southern Ohio coal agent.
'Down our way the farmers use
scarecrows that look more like men.
1t wouldd't be any harm to kill him
NOT bit"
Scents" said blunt old Col. Scuf-
tlngton Of Missouri II wouldn't do
it-indeed l wouldn't, sah."
"Oh, we were just saying what
ought to be done"
Eyes, I understand, but you know
man in America has the right to
dress as he pleases as long as he don't
jump another fellows claim. Now,
liant lesson in that pint some
years ago in ST. Jo."
$50? Let's hear it, Colonel.
''Fuhst. I want to know if ethan
of ye evan slapped dude?"
mo"
''Then, boys, don't do it. I speak
by cad, sab. Out at St. 10, one
night, a crowd of us wuh having
little time of ouah own, when who
should pass through the ballroom but
dude-a simon puah stamp-collah,
stripes, eyeglass and all. Now was
the chance fun fun. I asked him to
take drink, and received toh ansah
that he didn't drink. Ye know
what that meant. Declining my
hospitality, sab, So to speak. Fire
ton of Bates County, suggested that
we make the blank dude drink, as
'twouldn't take more than a gill to
fill him up Well, Icalled him. EFF ye
don't drink with gentlemen, sab, I'll
make We do it,"
''Don't do that, my friend, I had
a mother whom l promised that I
would never drink. While her men,
DRY lives I'll not do it,
"'I'll see bout that said I, but
the noah I blustah'd the less the cuss
seemed sca'd. /
'Ye won't drink?'
"'No, SIR said he politely :,
"'Not with gentlemen?'
Gentlemen should not he so
hard up for company" said he, and
more, it you would go home to your
family and sober up, you'd feel better
tomorrow
''Well. I grabbed him, I'm certain
that fah-but beyond that I'm lit
tie shaky. That collah, gents, Pm
counted truthful man at home)
shot up fifteen feet high,
the south side of the house hit me on
the jaw, while the raftahs chugged
me over the eye Ovah the room was
a seethin', rushin' mass of canes,
handkerchiefs, check goods, double
breasted coats and othah dudish
traps
"Finally the hossrack from in 'front.' |
OF the tavern came in and hit me |
across the back, and when 1 came to
| was IN my own bedroom at home,
with that cussed dude talkin' to my
daughtah. How did it happen?
Well, when had got a thrashin'
that would have cost any othah man
his life, the cuss called hack, took
me home, and assisted my wife to
patch me up. The fellows my SON.
ln-law now. He's commercial tray
elah, and one O. the best business
men in Kansas City. No, no, boys.
If you must have fun, go out and try
to butt cable cab from the track,
but don't try to get it by punchin' a
dude. In thiscountry clo'es ali mighty
deceptive. Pm man who Knows