Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-02-11
SsEI

iAs nis nesd wisely, mat NV secret. am
not going to disclose the mystery Of NV patent
so that another man may profit by IT,"
1t is. indeed. an essential thing for = man to
have invitations, il he would be a society uau.
and yet how many men there are who call
themselves society men who have few invita-
tions. These men go TO the theaters and SINH
lar places. the admission to which is obtained
by the purchase OF . ticket. and show them
selves great deal on the streets, but thev have
failed to solve the mystery Of how TO sc; iuyi-
tations. They sometimes belong 10 the clubs
too, and associate constantly with men whose
pathway is strewn with cards of invitation like
avenues with leaves in the autumn, but they
have not discovered how the great tesideratum
OF life is accomplished IL will be interesting
for invitations are.
GIT PERMISSION TO CALI.
First of all calling is tried. To get the per-
mission to do that much all that is necessary is
TO be introduced TO the lady YOU want TO call
on, to converse with her few moments ss
pleasantly as you know how, then to ask her
when her reception day is and whether Won
may do yourself the pleasure Of calling upon
her. Tell her you have been wishing 20 go for
some time: that so-and-so (the man who intro
duced YOU, il she knows him well and likes
hlmt, offered to take you there, but that your
illness has prevented You from accepting his
| offer; that now you will, If she doesn't object,
take the great liberty of coming by yourself. To
all OF this she will give a ready enough assent.
and the next reception day she has you can 20 in
and see her. There you are. then. You have met
| her and you have been 10 her house. just .it
| stu and wait for an invitation for one of her
| parties Perhaps you NAV get one. bat then.
again. perhaps yon may not do ANYTHING of the
kind. fou NAV depend that If she did not
already know all abcut YOU she has gone TO
work and inquired, and great deal depends
upon what was the result OF her inquiry. Now.
| suppose this to be the result of her INQUIRY:
She finds Won are an honest man. mach
esteemed in the business or professional world,
that You make a moderate of money
suthcient FOR purposes of respectability-that
your habits are exemplary and that you are
said to be considerable of a reader Having
heard this good report. will she invite Won TO
her parties? She may and she may not. but
the report is not going to influence her one way
or another.
II VOC ARE SWELL, ALL EIGHr.
But suppose she hears this report: That YOU
are the cousin of the Cresus family and a
genuine swell by birth and bringing up. That
you lead germans and are a dinner party man.
That you stay at Newport every summer. Nv
dear fellow. you will be invited to her parties
and it makes no difference whether you are
wise or stupid. rich OF poor. honest OF dishoR-
! est-these things have nothing 20 do with it at
all. But will the fact of YOUR gong to the par
| ties make her have a good opinion of Won or
ADMIRE you, or marry you? Not at all. Ii may
\ be the very men she does not invite to her en-
/ tertainments are the very ones she admires
most. That is always one OF the peculiarities
| of life in society. You may 60 to a lady .
house quite often, and, after awhile. You may
notice that sometimes YOU see. sitting in the
| background and looking rather awkward a
male visitor with gold-riramed spectacles and a
serious cast OF countenance. You wonder who
he is and you notice that he never appears at
| the dinner parties or balls that the lady gives.
At the end Of the season you are cooliy in
formed what this mans name is and further
| that the lady and he purpose getting married,
having been engaged for six months.
| But for that matter il is not always the fance
| that is a retiring man and not fond of society,
but the husband himself is sometimes sverse to
the balls and dinners which are sucha delight 20
his wife. II his dislike for them is overcome
| by his fondness for his wife. aud he goes with
her wherever she goes. he merely makes him
self miserable and cross but still he keeps him
self in sight. but if he consults his inclination
and stays at home he may come to the pass
when he is forgotten.
THE UNPRErENrIoUs HUSBAND.
''Who was the strange man saw coming out
of your house as l passed by yesterday morn
| ing?" said a man to a married woman whose
house he was tolerably frequent visitor at.
Il can't imagine. What did he look hle?''
asked the lady
| 'Oh," said the man. s'he was short and fat
and bad scrubbv mustache aud he looked
ill-na.ured-in short, as ugly a man as ever
saw"
"Oh, know who it was" she said, quite
| pleased why. that's my husband"
| The man had been to her house a number of
| had kt hoV All, .
he knew her, and yet he actually never had
seen her husband.
However. husbands are not the subject of
this article. but invitations. and although the
latter are difficult to get they are the NOR.
easily got of the two.
| Now, there are men who 60 on calling on peo-
pie year after year and vet get very few invita-
| tions. and there are other men who hardly do
| any calling at all and get SO many invitations
| that they can't accept them all. Perhaps the
| unsuccessful man feels a little bitter about it.
| but why should he! Because he is not sough;
| after in the way OF society is nothing against
him. He has no right TO point to his compan-
| ion who succeeds and say: "You see that fell
low? He has no brains, he has no money, he is
not amusing and he is not good looking. Yet
he Is invited everywhere without any effort of
his own, and I, who have brains. money and
good looks. try to get invited and don succeed
| But perhaps the standards that are followed by
| the people who do the inviting are not stand
ards OF good looks or brains even money!
| They know what they want and one man sup
| plies their wants ami another does not-that is
| all there is in il. But why il il that they want
| the one man and do not want the othe-?
THE PARLoR AND BALL ROOM.
The truth Of the matter is that the parlor and ball
room republic and that when man crosses
| their threshold he enters . world that does not
care q copper for what he is in the other walks
of like. The man who can combine success an
| Invitations with success in the more serious
ayocstions of life is q happy mortal. more versa
| tile than most men. Of course exceptions must
| be noted man may be sought after by in
yitations because of some peculiar reputation
| acquired in the serious walks of life, but these
/ men are unusual The two lines are usually
entirely distinct from one another. Would
you, il You bad an important law suit. employ
| as your attorney lawyer who had q great rcpn-
\ tation u society man because Of that reputa-
| ton? Hardly. Then, il you we're giving .
ball q dinner party Why should you invite
| man to it because of his reputation as a lawyer?
| The lawyer has his place in ths world and the
society man has his, and ii is probable that the
| lawyer gets less abuse from the society man be-
cause Of his success than the society man gets
| from the lawyer.
But 1t may be put on another ground. too,
because The man who IL not good IL often sue
cessful in getting invitations where . good man
fails. OF course . notoriously and positively
bad man must De excluded from invita-
r. =. Il A. 49, f. a