Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-11-02


philadelphia Times.
CoBBLE-~Ho do you find trader"
Stone-"That's the great trouble. /
can't find t."-Clothier.
ONE feature Of a cyclone 10 worthy
of general imitation; 1t always does
Its level best. Lowell Courier.
MILK has gone up half cent a
quart In Brooklyn, but no rise Of
cream is reported. Troy Press.
THE amateur photographer has a
habit OF taking almost anything ex-
cept hint --Somerville Journal.
The prize housekeeper is q tenant
who can hold on for six months with
out paying any rent-Galveston
News.
So FAR, no one has ever made the
blunder Of painting Cupid to look
as If he had amy sense. --Atchison
Globe.
A SPRUCE STREET girl calls her pet
pug Knickerb0cRer because he is ad-
dicted to short pants. Philadelphia
Record,
A GROCER who had a lot Of Linn
burger cheese for sale advertised it
as an ~unappuOachable bargain. -
SiftiHgs
ABOUT all the buried treasures
most people have are the good reso.
luttOns they have put away.-Galves-
ton News.
"THET comes" said Uncle Lie, "o'
the express company not hevin' their
money tn old socks - Cleveland
Plain-Dealer.
IT'S no use to ask the man who is
going to have a tooth pulled whether
he doesn't think this is just a perfect
day.-Somerville Journal.
IL FEEL myself beneath YOU" as
the man in the lower berth Ia tine
sleeper remarked to his companion
on the shelf above.-Lowell Courier
The Tree-planting Society of
Brooklyn is trying to check the nib
bling of trees by horses. 1t is GER
t&inly atgnawing. Philadelphia Rec
ord.
BOTH lemons and figs can be done
without So long as the native
peach is preserved the women will
put up with that. - Philadelphia
Times.
Lice" exclaimed the man who
enjoys being a misanthrope, lis moth
ing but'one long hustle for chunk
of ice or a lump Of coal. Washing
ton Star.
1T was a small suburban B@ath
who explained that it was not so
much the heat that troubled people
;as "the general humility. Boston
Transcript.
The woman who never had a baby
of her own generally can't under
stand how it is that mother can be
so foolish as to let her baby cry
Someryille Journal.
TIMES like these breed cautious
ness. A farmer whose poultry is I'm
the basement of his barn sends us
word that even the hens are laying
ow.-Buffalo Courier.
SOCIETY ED1ToR-Here is a woman
writing to us ito know If a grass wild
ow ought to wear mourning. Boss
Editor-She might wear q green
lawn,-Indianapolis Journal.
Hicks meddle always speaks
well of everybody" Wicks-"Mere
matter of habit He worked at cut
ting ont tombstone epitaphs for sew
eral years. Boston Transcript.
MRS. Po1NDExEER (horriaed)- FL
heard to-day that Mr.. Collingwood
leads a double life" Miss Forty
with a sigh That's much better
than single oue."-Brooklyn Life.
SHE (romanticallg)-In what hour
of inspiration do those beautiful
poems of yours cometo you? He Cab
straetedly}-The time of the noon
mail delivery, mostly. Chicago Rec
ord.
YOUNG WIFE-How nice it would
be If life were a perpetual honey
moon-nothing but billing and COO
ing Young husband-H'm! l think
l could get along with just the cooling.
Truth.
Miss MAY WATTS, of Boston, re-
Gently deceased, left all her estate of
So, 900 to her pet cat Otto, which
will be taken abroad. The cat should
come back with an Otto biography -
Philadelphia Ledger.
fundamentally friend, / sus-
pect you've been putting kerosene oil |
in this watch. George Bond-That |
have. When watch goes in soak
so often something must be done to
counterfeit rust. Kate Fields Wash
ington.
WATTs-Is it true that you got |
wind Of the bank failure before the |
doors were closed? Potts-No, L |
went down to get check cashed an
hour after the doors were closed. 1t |
was then that / got wind. Indian
apolis Journal.
JUNIOR While 1 was
taking down that buyers order this
morning l told him one fyour funny
stories. Senior Partner-Ha, ha!
Did he laugh? Junior Partner-No;