The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-07-20
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

fs'f .fOU POdh1oS
healthfuls' Fogg-"Yes, indeed; very
fattening Look at the policemen.
Boston Transcript.
-"Why DO you think Mrs. Timpson
lis not goinR away?" She-"Pooh. didn't
fsee her pack all the things she would
need right in the top of the trunk.
Inter Ocean.
-Teacher-''Do peas GROW Oh ytnes'
or on bushes?" Pupil Whose father
Keeps "a sumIner-bDzrding= housE1-
They comes in cans. Yi7Boston Tran
script. -----7
Use Fish Liver Oil ''-Pinxit-
"And what's D'Auber doing this sea-
son?' Stipple-''Painting in the Cats
kills, believe" Pinxit-,'Humph On
the Catskills, more likely. PUCK.
"A Cool roposition.--She--'I want
twenty-five dollars to buy Japanese
fan" He--''O. get one Of those FIVE
cent ones. 1t is easier to, raise the q
wind at that price. Texas Siftings.
Bob trying to grow mustache)-
81 say, Tom. does it show at all?'
Tom (seriously)-''Well, yes little;
but never mind, don't think anybody
will notice it."--Washington News. p,
You're wrong in thinking Bigtalk
coward. Nothing can scare him."
THAT'S what said I've seen him get
frightened at shadow. Troy Press.
Ills Spooney apt to marry that pref
ty girl at the eravat counterp'outI
think he would il he felt that she could s
break herself of the habit of calling for .
cash. '''-Philadelphia Record.
You made a mistake in calling
that drama of yours a play without
hero" 'Why? 1t hasn't any heroes"
Its chock-full of them. Every man /,
who braves an audience in play like
that is hero Harper Bazaar. osy *
Security. fare you afraid ofburg-%
lars?" said the lady who was making
short visit. Not since our. new gisRkl
came. The policeman spends; most0
his time at our house nown-Washing-
ton Star. 4
i -She--'Mr. .Sinnox, you ought to be :
ashamed to say so many mean things,
about us women. | cannot imagine
where you get your ideas" From
other women mostly. "-Indianapolis a
Journal. '"H''"''' ~; =, j.
40, dearest, did you-bring the at
,tachment for my diamond iocket2i'
''Well, no, precious! Don't be alarmed,
though: the sheriff may bring one" l. u
MY. Ledger. 80 100
-Adans-"There are some things
cheap in New York. You can ride in
an open car from Harlem to the Battery
for nickel" Burns-Yes, pneumonia
and nine-mile ride are cheap for q
nickel. Texas Siftings. .H 80
% Her Brother-''Whyd did you persist
in using French at the reception last
night? You bungled the language so
frightfully that no one understood
what you said" Miss Budd-'Indeed?
l did, every word of it.o-Buffalo
Courier. 'H }t+s
"A Boon to Mankind.
''This is the finest boat in the mar
ket." Customer-''Nhat are its special
features?n Dealer-''It has seats with
powerful springs under them, that can
be touched off by pressing button,
and made to hoist out any fool that
tries to rock the boat" Customer
"Name your own price, Puck. ,,o.
The Chance of His Lifa.-Mr. Hem
peck-"My life is miserable" Friend
whats the matter?'' Mr.. Henpeck
20, my wife is always fiaring up at
something, and now she is Jealous of
my typewriter" F.-"Jealous of your
typewriter? Good This is the chance
of your life" Mr.. H.-"How?' F.
discharge your typewriter and let
your wife take her place, and then you
will be able to do something you've
never done before in your life" Mr..
H.-''What is that?" F.-"Dictate TO
your wife. IN. Y. Press. ~
Ancient Way to Force Confessions.
In a remote village in Hungary a
husband and his wife were found muir
dered and their man servant being
arrested confessed the deed but stated
that three brothers-neighb of the
old couple chad persuaded him to muir
der them and had divided the spoils-
something like five hundred pounds
with him. These three brothers were