The Newtown bee., 1893-07-21
DID YOU EVER

know such q commotion among the banks? Banks private, corporate and national all seem to be in+troubIe and failure after failure follow each other in rapid succession. Some banks however, are as solid as the everlasting hills and arc conducted with such sagac1ous foresight that they pass through financial troubles smoothly as 8 ship rides an oiled sea, or the hired girl a banana peel down the cellar stairs Naught short of an earthquake can shake them. Hawleyville is small burgh and we have but one bank, but it is just this kind of bank: It is known in business vile. This bank is one of the oldest institu- tions in the land. When Columbus landed she was, and when Barkhamsted was settled she was all the more. The aborigine child ren of Columbus time played humble e-peg in her front yard yet & she was not g opened enc flor for England railroad. The credit of this railroad was then A. l, and the builders made tremen- dous drafts upon this bank and they were hon. ored for long time without a single deposit being made. Queer but true. This was not good business. policy for the bank and it low. cred her standing in the eyes of the general pu blic, {some 12 feet.) During these depres- sing times some of her most valuable front age was allowed to pass into other hands and Bakers large furniture warerooms now cast black shadow across q portion Of Der front, gelieal Faith Cure,'' Fourtold Gospel Christ ian Alliance has been pitched right in front of her frontest front and the most astounding miracles have been performed within a cables length of her terraced foundations. New Englands drafts, as said before, were heavy, but the biggest draft, for a small one, ever made on her. and one that came near burst ing the bank, was made when the walls of Bakers furniture building were put on. It was contract work and there was 8 sub con tractor ana lhefe were many Wofkmen and artisans to share the respon- the time and he could not look after the de- comparatively easy task t, making nor. proved to the world that the latter can be done For proof see the patched and mortarless spots on Bakers ceilings. How the workmen finished the iOb and GSCaDGd injury from fall ing ceilings is what no fellow can tell. We | are desirous Of letting the public know who the man is who can make bricks without straw" and should have done it in the courts l long ago but unfortunately property titles son of disaster. When we see patch of plas- | tering fall on a fine piece of furniture feel | like the man who said Hanging is too good l for him; he ought to be kicked to death by a l iackass and I'd like to do it.' Ii we can find out who is responsible for the present eondi | ton of our walls (and we think we cam and ii we ever catch that man, and ii we can identi I fy him, and if he undertakes to crawl through a knot hole, and if he gets stuck when about | half way through, and ii we have our slippers on, and if the minister is not looking, well 1 just warm that man till he can't sit down, fol ! two moons, without making his feet sore I Have you ever had patches of plastering fai l all over your house and keep doing it? No l Well then, my dear friend, your Christian for | titude has never been fully tested. You are 1 not ripe for the kingdom yet. We sometimes speak in jest, but never on this subject of pool | walls. We often get real angry and abuse oul best friends when we think of it. Why only the other day poor widow woman with 4 I blind COW with q large family and one horr broken of, looked at & pile of plastering or the floor and then at the ceiling, and venturet to inquire sympathetically if lightning has struck our building. Well now you don know how near we came to knocking tha poor woman down the cellar stairs and tellins
 are ripening fast and we grow mild ever,
 day. We can even nQX wish this man long life and 3 carbuncIN every year, and if h should happen to ripen and be plucked first you may see us making an annual pilgrimag, every Thanksgiving morning to place forget
 me-nots and fresh mortar on his grave.
 In our sane moments we feel deeply grate
 ful to a generous public for their sympath. and patronage. They come long distance
 They know that we are located away out her in a bowling wilderness, with tall trees al
 around us and an immense stock of furnitur on our hands, and they know we have bee unfortunate with our ceilings and they fee sorry for us and they put their hands ava
 down deep in theirpockets and they buy lit
 orally and they drop a tear now and then nc so many, however, as when they buy i
 some other place.
 The preacher tells us We are all poor sir
 ners and that this is a wicked, wicked Worle lot of good in 1t, after all. Come and see Il!
 Don't look up nor say anything about ou
 ceilings and we will try and use you well an invitesyou into our reading room while wal
 | ing for trains.
 A. c. BAKER,
 New Furniture Warerooms, Opposite Unio