The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1893-04-16
1nE cai.s Brysver
why the Co,o.ei Never went rs n s~ris,,or.
rry 10 Africa.

uchce inht He VIII not .DelleVo IN tho ueVelon-
ment OF man from the lower animals some
ono. however. asked him plumply his opinion
OF Darwinism. and lie sentcntiously replied:
"Darned nonsense"
Feeling that this Wow Of the matter possibly
metited expansion. the Colonel caused his
chair to assume its customary orntorical atti-
tude on its two rear logs. and began to dis
course.
There ARE some things" no remarked.
which do look rs II there might DO n grain OF
truth In this monkey theory. For instance.
when | was In France l was nrctty nearly con-
WINGED that the monkey Is tho connecting link
between man and tho Fronchman. but nfter
all thorois no proof 81 i. That's what's the
matter with Darwinism. Whom Won produce
a man who can remember that his grand
father was monkey. or when you show mo
n monkey that can produce papers to prove
thnt he Is my second cousin. I'll bciicve all
Darwin said on tho subject. hut as the thing
stands. I've nothing hut Darwin word TO
prove that man and monkeys arc near ,cla-
,ions. SO lar us / can learn. Darwin DIDN'T
know "a much about animals as u man %oughtto
know who undertakes to inveat II theory about
them. He never WIS intimate with dogs. and no
never drove an army mule. lilo had II SOFT OF
lowing acquaintance with monkeys and
a few other animals Of no niticulnr standing
In tho community. but he couldn't even under.
stand - single animal language. Now. u liz
lini Gonn to work ana learned to read and
write. and spcik tho monkey language. as
that Amcrici IN professor that you were. Just
speaking Of has done. he might havo l.ccn ab!e
to give us so;ne really valuaUl" information. .
ID" l lm!icvo that animals talk don't
simply believe it: | know It. When | was II
young man l had II god ,,cal to ,o with
animals. and | learned 10 undc:s sAnd tn" cat
language Just as VOL as understand English.
It's nm easy language wh.i once you 80, the
hang Of il. and from what l hear of German
tho two nre considerably alike. You look as
II you didn't altogether believe me. though
why YOU should dDuht that u man can learn
,l,t language when the world j. fun II men
that pretend to nave learned uermnn, and no
toiy calls their word In Question. 1 don't pre-
ci.ely see.
"of course. ] don't pretend to understand
all tho cat dialects. For example. / don't
u word ut the Angora diairct. and ran
only understand "a sentence here and there uf
tho tortoise shell diaiec,. hut ~ fnr IL, good.
pure. standard cat language goes. it'- as i lain
as print 10 me to-day. Though l haven't iGil
any attention to it i,r, forty years. | done
always sr9So Engli.h when was talking
with cats. They all understand lngli h ~
picks M IL langnag from hearing It sp"k-n
Forty years ago l Wa. II Young man. and.
with a Young nsW w"n,m m' Oh nu nsn ioSn. l T Th.i IN i ,JSt
thr least doubt in my mind that | should have
married her II | had not known the cnt Ian
She took away to Africn with her IA n mission.
airy: Knew him well, and H. didn't want to
%sionary. and that all he wanted was to live in n
Christian country, where no could 90 and talk
XII KIN Nth the o@ys 81 IN the b h"rr"Hn evenings. Bu.
II ! had married her she wout,i have ne turn
nj. ,SnnrSt or G,l pirate; sh "r 0nytai"g else that 1T
grateful TO Thomas AIuinas for saving me
from that
little cottage that belonged to my untI.. nnd
that he let me have rent Tree on condition that
had nm Old negro housekeeper and two cats.
Of them. Martha Washington by name.
a cat as ! ever knew. She had u strong sense
al humor. too; which is unusual with cats. and
back her head and open her mouth wide. and |
would laugh u silent laugh that was u. hearty
and r3llisking as u Methodist PARSONS laugh
minstrel show. Martha was perhaps the
most popular cnt IN W and there was
some one OF her admirers in the bnck yard. As
fer serenndes, she had three or four every
ciun, formed by four frst-ciass feline voires.
and the club used to Civ" Martha and me two
or three hours OF music three times n week. l
seven Old boots in.the hack yard OF u morn.
ing that had been contributed w enthusiastic |
ton was at the top ofthe haar. 4here WASN'T a
more fashionable cat in tho whole state OF
in her ways as il sh" hud best born and bred
in . 2 6ySsas sffs msstInS]M heats,, w.. riv,nr
o'clock tea on tho veranda next TO my room. |
always gave her permission to give that sort
the gossip OF her friends used to TO very
amusing to me: Among the guests that after;
W1GR S" to s %srryrsIM wss ea the S ySHnf th Isdy ,a I
had always pretended. to DO very fond Of me.
and susan often said that her cat never made
cats approval OF me was eauivnlen, to II first
sunday school certificate or moral char
rat myself. Tor somehow I didn't .nlace
any confidence in her professions, There
!" my an mie sfpF S.ana t TsGn sha hs %os tail ;Ds Mn!sn;
iinisnssd hsS mix when Tie sGnysrsa'io%1
susan. Then tho Maltese began to say things
not aSea only Sa WHAT ts she nail saiS' %y " Miat e sh. in ns NUS
,ted. and. according to her. susan, wns one Of
: he w %saH' Tn f"d % s3sts ssnts st e'iii is vs. w" I"S. h in
ireu Mlde'i and then ! got up and said to MaTth Ia
Washington: . | think Your Maltese friendis
, ! With E sia,;I That W. snGuEn: tIs
srokr. stopped. looked Of mo, as il she s"""li
ear mo into pieces. and, then f~ounceI out OF
he house without saving a word. under;
'''A .nN stS'o "ao ~ sSh. ~ y W. =.
for me. and that henceGorth |
have nm enemy In Susan's house, who
might be able to do me u good deal Ut harm.
-"rhe next time I called to sea Susan III"
Maltese WAS In tho room, and she instantly
nut up her back and tail ana sworc nj mo a. i
was n Chinaman on tho lookout for material
or n stolen dinner. WHAT can be the matter
With Moor. pussy ? said Susan, she seems to
20 SO terribly afraid ~ YOU al OF a sudden. |
rope 1t doesn't mean that you have been doing
TINT She doesn't approve Of
iidn't make any reply to this in~inlation, ex-
ept to say that the ,c3t might rerhnns he
VINO was ,rally angry vt tho idea that
or cat cou!u be capnh bic Il going mad.
THE same sort uithinG happened everything
went to the, house. rh' cat Was always in
he room and aiwnrs expressed IN the plain
st way the opinion that was a thief and n
murderer AMI nm enemy Of the temperance
ociety. When | aske cd her what She meant to
% she would give me no reply exsspl 2 fresh
fleet on her. for she knew that | could not
ouch her in Susan's house, and She didn't in
that | should eaten her outside oi ihe
.ouse. Nothing was clearer than that the
Inltese was bound to make a quarrel between
no and Susan in revenge for what | had said
( Martha's 1 o'clock milk.
81, n To- ,rhtIA mann lnna, . ato A.. alt--