The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-23


regulars"
The man who was waiting his turn
was wretch, but his neck and face had
been carefully washed, and his hair well
combed and brushed. washed my face
and brushed my hair, and thought that
to wear an unventilated hat even three
hours couldn't be so very dreadful q
punishment after all. had reckoned
without my host.
''This way, gentlemen, if you please"
said the hatters assistant as he mo-
toned us to follow him through door
leading toward the basement.
At the end of a passage under the shop
front was little room with sloping
roof. Side by side were two easy chairs,
beneath each of which was q winch for
raising or lowering the chair to any re-
Quired height. My companion took his
seat at once. He was evidently used to
the ways of the place. Then the assist
ant strapped him in by means of two
thick leather bands with massive buc-
kles, one at the neck and the other at the
waist, Then the shopman suddenly
opened little trapdoor II inches square
i'll the low. sloping roof of the apart
ment and worked away actively at the
winch. The chair rose, and the head of
its occupant disappeared through tho
little trapdoor to the shoulders. Then
the man turned Il large nut which was
affixed to the back of the chair and mo-
toned Inc to take my seat in the other.
why do you strap us in?" 1 said to
the man as l took my seat
You'll know why, governor, by the
time you've earned that half a crown"
he said with malignant grin. Now,
look here" he continued, IF you want
to sneeze or cough or anything, get it
done now, and don't you go a-larfing or
larking with the boys Mt the window. If
You do, it will be deducted for"
Then he began to wind me up, and l
made my first appearance in Mr.. Will
kins' shop front to a round of tulnultu-
GUS applause from crowd of idlers in
the street who stared into the shop win
dows. Then somebody carefully fitted
hat onto my head and gave it n know
ing cock. Then the mahogany arrange
ment was drawn up close to my neck,
and there L sat. perfectly comfortable,
staring at the crowd of idlers in the
street. And then draft of cool air be-
gan to flow through the holes that sur
rounded my neck. Mr. Wilkins really
took wonderful amount of trouble to
insure our comfort.
AT first the novelty of my situation ell
tirely occupied my mind. L felt inclined
to laugh as I thought of myself rs a
bodiless head wearing ventilating hat.
The boys i'll the street too, made gri-
maces at me. Then looked ut nv fellow
victim out of the corner of my eve. He
was evidently already suffering from the
effects of his unventilated hat. His
teeth were tightly set. He looked any
thing but happy. Great drops of per-
SEPARATION already stood upon his brow.
L didn't trouble myself very much about
him.
The time passed pleasantly enough and
heard the clock of Shoreditch church
Mt length strike !. AS it struck was
startled to hear the wearer of the un-
ventilated hat give hollow groan.
looked at him once more out of the
corner of my eye. He had become ghast-
ly pale. He looked as if he were melting
gradually. In fact, the poor fellow seemed
very i'll indeed. Strange that a badly
ventilated hat should produce such
marked effects. Well, it wasn't NV
business.
The clock Of Shoreditch church struck
4:30. heard footsteps i'll the room be.
low, and at the same time | was de-
prived of my ventilating hat A brand
now hat was placed upon my head. ANA
the show cards which stood behind orr
respective heads We're exchanged. The
drafts of cool air which came through
the innumerable little holes in the ma
hoSany flooring around my neck sudden
ly ceased y current of heated air SUP
piled its place. looked out of the
corner of my eye ut the other head
The face wore an ccstatic smile. The
easy chair IN which was sitting began
TO grow warm. and finally became ac-
tually unplcasantly hot.
L saw through the whole fiendish trick
at once. was to he tortured an hour
and IA half for the amusement of an idle
crowd i'll order that the public might be
guided into the purchase of the so called
ventilating hats of the tcnd Wilkins.
| felt-but | will not dwell on nv
agonies; | will not dilatc upon the hor-
rible sufferings ] endured. | was being
gradually cooked alive. and | felt that
concentrated boiling gravy was cours-
ing through my veins. My features
were contorted with agony. The crowd
i'll the street outside applaudcd.
tried to break loose. AS did so Il
voice from the room below uttered the
following dreadful threat, Its 12O now.
my man, and if you move I'll make it
l5O!" l shed tears of rage. Indignation
and agony. endured the most dread
full fortunes an hour and half. When
| left Wilkins cstublisbu,or+ ,r;,l, = HE