The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-06-28
BILL ARP,
Some Good Jokes on the Deaf.
Atlamsa Cbrutttutio,..

o4hA All
Some Good Jokes on the Deaf,
Atlanta Cbnstttutton.
Old man Hasty was deaf-very deaf
He was nabor of mine when we 'liVe'
in the country, and he hauled load o
wood to town every day to sell. He wa
poor and old, but he never complained
The town boys used to poke fun at him
but he never got mad.
"Good morning, Mr.. Hasty," the,
would say. Seventy FIVE cents" hi
replied. "How does your corporosity
sagatiate Z" "Won't take cent less" hi
said. The boys would laugh, and th'
old man would sr lie and drive on
Two, wo," said the boys to the steers, ant
they would stop again. "ait up Dick
git slong Brindle, YOU old lazy rascals
every time you git to town you want te
stop every half a minute. Git up, I tel
you," and he frailed them with his thrash
pole. About the time they were fairly
started, the boys said "wo" again, and
the old man had to lick them again, but
he never got mad.
I was ruminating about this, for am
deaf myself, now, and begun to realize
its inconvenience. For several years
have been deaf in one ear, but I didn't
mind it, ror the other was good. The
only trouble was that while I could heal
perfectly we'll I couldn't locate distant
sounds with much precision. I couldn't
tell what church bell Was ringing OF
which way the train was coming, OF
whether the mocktug bird was aiugiDg in
this tree or that tree, but I got along very
we'll and could always hear Mrs. Arp
when she told me what She wanted.
There was some good in having bnt one
good ear in mosquito time, for I could
Just turn that ear down close on the
pillow and the little varmint might sing
away all night in the other if he wanted
to.
My head trouble has all settled in my
good ear now, and I reckon it will go out
ct that orifice and leave me after awhile.
y o. -
but have suffered dyes, suffered like a
poor sinner ought to suffer, and the whole
family has to fly around and wait on me
when these iaroxysms come on. My ear
is nearly closed up now and I'm waiting
for it to burst OF, do something. Mrs.
Arp tries to amuse me and some times
says, "Good morning, Mr.. Haaty," and I
always respond, ''Seventy-fve cents"
i. The other day Imet my old friend,
Rev. Rich Brsnham, in Atlanta, he is
very deaf, and while we were talking
secrets on the edge Of the sidewald Evan
Howell came swelling along with his
corporosity and stopped to shake hands.
"Mr Branham, You know Colonel How
ell" said I in q gentle whisper that
attracted attention across the street.
Colonel Towers, I am pleased -" "How.
ell, of the Gnsttut;on," said Evan,
screaming in his ear. 'Thank you," said
Branham, "my constitution has given
away very much within the last"
aThis is Evan Howell, Of the Atlanta
Constitution" said 1. "Oh, yes; yes, I
see; yes, understand. / used to know
him very we'll, but he quit knowing me
and so quit knowing him. He is run
ming a great political newspaper, and I
am running q great religious newspaper.
He thinks he is doing a big thing, but I
know that l am. The Christian hder is
3 power for good. The Constitution is a
power, too, but whether it is for good or
not ! can't say" And they laughed and
enjoyed each others wit and humor and
so did I.
: I've been helping out deaf people. all
my life; that is, I have besngiving them
some of my time, for they don't have
much pleasure in 8 social way, and it
always pleases them to be noticed. A
deaf man feels very much like he is out
side of society. The world has gone of
and left him. My folks were telling
something at the table to day that was
very funny, and the laugh went merrily
around and I laughed, too, but l never
heard word. But whenever.I make a
misft answer to my wife she elevates hez
voice and says, "Good morning, Mr..
Hasty." Seventy Eve CENTS" says I.
And hear her say some other things,
too, ever and anon. She told me this
morning that she Lad new moon vine
she wanted me to plant out for her if I
felt like it. "It changed yesterday" said
1. "What changed ?" said she. "The
moon," said I. "We had new moon
last night" And I looked solemn and
sad and put my hand up to my ear after
the position of deaf folks. There is no
dodgiog her that way. She went and
got little pot and pointed to the ground
and went and got the hoe and planted
the vine, and she e-smiled at me and said :
"Good morning, Mr.. Hasty." Seventy.
fve CENTS" said /. Yesterday she said
she reckoned she would have to get Mrs.
Roberts to make up that last dress ]
bought her il I could spare the money.
got glimmering idea Of her remark
and nodded assent, for l wouldn't give
her nice dress and not pay for the
making. I am not that kind of man.
The girls make up all their dresses but
my wife shall not make hers any more
80 long -as l live. She has worked enough,
haven't forgotten the beautiful plated
bosom shirts she used to make fer me
before there was ever sewing machine
in the world. I haven't forgotten the
hundreds. and hundreds Of little garments
she made fer the children. I haven't
forGotten the lessons that she taught