St. Landry democrat., 1893-07-29
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
ExactIy-Unkind- Desperation Fro
notwithstanding Daunts the Spri az
Poet, Etc, Etc.

| ExactIy-Unkind- DeSperatlOn - Fro
Notwithstanding Daunts the Spri az
Poet, ETC., Etc.
EXACTLY.
~ think it impossible that marriage
is the only state that is conducive to
real happiness"
"Are you married?'
"Er--no, but am engaged"
eyes; | thought so."-ICh'cago
Record.
Wandering Willyum Cat the side de'or
of the country villa)--I know, mum, you
won't refuse to give little something
to pore man. have faith IN your
good-heartedness, mum.
The Lady of the House (slamming the
door with unction)--Yes, but it's faith
without works. Chicago News Record
DESPERATION.
Wild-Eyed Mani want some sooth-,
ing sirup, quick!
Druggist-What sized bottle2
Wild-Eyed Man-Bottle! want a
keg! It's twins II New York Weekly,
NOTHING DAUNTs THE SPRING POET.
The day is raw and damp without,
No feathered songsters sing;
But genuine bards such tritles scout,
So he sits down and writes about
The loneliness of spring.
- New York Press.
PRODUCTIVE.
Phasseums-Do widows weeds ever
bloom?
Enthusiastically. They pro-
duce orange blossoms.-lVogue. :
WILLING TO oBLIGE.
Tenderfoot-I wish I was back in the
east.
Lone Star Pete-Stranger, just step up
behind that mule kind of careful and
tickle his feet.
ALL ROUND.
Eastman-I hear you have boom in
your town. Which do you sell, real
estate, or the buyers?
West-Both; but only the real estate is
booming.
DEFINED. = 7
The PROFESSIONALISM is happiness?
The Philosopher-Th condition of
forgetting that you are unhappy Chi
cago Record.
Miss Twilling-That was delightful
letter got from you the other day.
Calloway-Thanks. | was going to
CALL but l wrote instead.
Miss Twilling-I love to get your let
lers. -LVogue.
ENFANT TERRIBLE.
''Mrs. Squint, have YOU a glass eye,
sure enOugh?'
mo; who said had?'
"Why, ma just said you never took
your eye off the piano all the time Sis
was playing. Chicago Inter Ocean.
BRIGHT PROSPECTS,.
Old Gcntlcman-Littlc boy, why are
you idling around the street during
school hours, and, still worse, smoking
and chewing tobacco, and acting like u
young tough generally, instead of
studying your lessons and trying to be a
little gentleman2
Boy-Wot yer givin' us?
Old OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES the time
is not far distant when you will have to
earn your own living.
Boy-That's all right I'll live in a
Fiji avernoo house an have 4 steam yacht.
I'm goin' inter polytics. -LGood News.
CLOSE OBSERVATION.
Teachcr-Now you see why some sub
stances absorb moisture. Can any of |
YOU name a substance which so easily |
absorbs moisture that it is nearly always |
damp?
Boy can.
Teacher-Good. Nothing pleases me
walton. What is it, Johnny?
Boy-Mud.-L Good News.
INDICATING HIM.
"Hc said 1 was either fool or a
knave"
"Ie did ? Well, then, l could tell
him have known you longer than he
has, and l can swear you're no knavc."
New York Press.
A LOST LOVE.
Adieu, adieu, oh grave eyed lass!
And in the new weeks feeting
Let pass as sudden odors pass,
The memory of our meeting.
Adieu, adieu. BE quick to part!
And em-if you are able
Please do return my wounded heart;
It's wanted by Miss Mabel
i Chicago Record.
SURE ENOUGH.
A fair and wealthy maid was she;
His words to her were sweet Us honey,
But she was prudent: "Is it me-"
She asked, 'you're after, or my mon
cyl"
'I'm after you," was his reply;
II love the very air about you,
And how is't possible that l