New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-09-10
HOME AND SOCIETY.
/" TALKING SHOP
ENCE-THE INVITATION DANCE"-AUTUMN
MISUNDERSTANDING 4 HOUSE,
GRAPE PRESERVES.

ENCE-THE INVITATION DANCE'-AUTUMN
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS 4 HOUSE,
GRAPE PRESERVES.
Very few people realize how utterly stupid and
uninterestng to outsider is the almost universal
habit of talking shop" that is. keeping the con-
versation In channels of exclusively individual in
terest. New-York people especially are wont to
consider their local interests paramount. and when
a visitor from any other city or any who is
not in their set happens to be among them. they
almost invariably ignore them and talk lover their
heads" as it were. leaving their unfortunate guest
10 CLEAN what amusement he she from the
purely personal talk which Is not in the least inter-
esting outsider. This criticism is APP
picable to women than to men, and is particularly
noticeable in the fashionable set. Masculine inter
ests naturally broader and more cosmopolitan
and mems talk. therefore. is consequently not so
circumscrbed But be to the stranger who
finds herself left to the tender mercies Of a fash
ionable lot of women in New-York She is simply
and entirely "out of It," and is alone in a crowd,
the most uncomfortable solitude Imaginable. This is
not an imaginary charge to bring against New-York
women, by the way. 1t is a weknown fact and
one that has frequently been commented upon
Less rude. perhaps but quite as boring to an out
slider. Is the disposition to talk shop in the way
of servants, children, and various other domestic
matters on the part of kind hearted matrons. who
would not for the world Intentionally neglect a
guest visitor: but who cannot fancy that any
other subject be interesting as their SER
wants delinqIencies their childrens illnesses?
What can he tiresome to outsider than to
be suddenly dropped into community who nave
some common interest in which he is totally unn-
erested? We all such cyclists after all, and it
seems natural to think that what absorbs US
should interest others that 1t is hard for us to re-
alize that may on occasions be both selfish and
ill-bred.
at is quite fatal TO appear stupid and uninter-
ested when you out in society. you know.
said the pretty girl to an amused listener to her
prattle. land l have discovered a capital recipe
against looking dull which will give to you gratis.
At Mrs. AS the other day. found myself at
big luncheon with lot of older people present. and
on taking places at The table was dismayed
TO find that of my neighbors was an elderly
woman and total stranger who turned her shout
der to during greater part of the repast and the
other was Milly b. who is dear girl, but has
not an idea in her head After the first few min
utes had passed in total silence, a bright idea
struck me. Milly, said suddenly let's count;
we will look just If were talking. and It's
ever so much easier. When l leave off you begin.
And / began in my most vivacious manner.
one, two. three. four, five. six SEVENTEEN l
paused and Mily. showing her little white teeth
with bona fde merriment went on Eight, nine,
ten. eleven. twelve. thirteen, fourteen, fifteen,
and we both ended with burst Of genuine laugh
ter.
a
heard our vis-a-vs saying TO her neighbor rather
enviously | thought. wonder what they are
talking about "
Since my bread -and-butter days when my SIS
ters and nv cousins and my aunts visited Europe.
and sent me back reams Of useful Information,
copied most likely from Murrays handbook
have never been bored with my correspond
ence" said the house-mistress as she was looking
over her letters at the breakfast table ut is moth
should people who visit the Fair imagine that
their friends at home should want detailed ac-
count Of their experiences? And when they return
il is Just as bad it is Chicago ad nauseam We
stay-at-homes all read our newspapers, and know
quite as much about the architectural effects the
Midway Plaisance and the thousand and in
teresting sights the people who go there Thank
Heaven. the winter is approaching and we shall
soon hear the last of it,"
AS II seems 10 be on the cards that many fami-
lies will feel very mpecunous this winter. 1t Is
fortunate for the young people that subscription
affairs have obtained the sanction Of Mrs Grundy.
Formerly they not considered quite the
thing" among upper tendon. but in these fn-de-
steele days even the smartest people do not con-
slider a Dutch treat to be out of taste. The IN
vitation Dances" they are called-which are
really general subscription dances given under GER
tain auspces-have been the anchor to windward
of the younger set this summer at the various wa
tering places particularly the private balls have
been conspicuous by their absence and dull indeed
would have been their season If they mad been en-
tirely dependent upon the more "swagger func-
lions These Invitation" balls are inaugurated by
a few energetic spirits. who form a committee. and
select those who are to be invited to buy tickets;
tho proceeds of the sale of tickets TO pay FOR
the supper and ballroom. There will be undoubt
edlv MANY such festivities given this winter, to
supplement private entertainments whlch 'he
aickey-birds say will be few and far between
cofn in fay
an arrangement. The convenience of giving dance
at house which may be hired expressly for the
purpose is considerable With good moor iof
dancing comfortable seats, good lighting first-rate
music etc. the battle is more than half won AS
dances so given retain more or less a private char
acter many individuals as well find II an easy way
ont of a difficulty, and. rather than upset their
houses elect to entertain in this fashion, AS re-
CARDS chaperonage at these semi-private functions
IT is generally allowed that the vigilance OF the
chaperon may be considerably relaxed; brother
even II younger than his sisters is esteemed good
and efficient chaperon for them. and II TWO or
three married women be present it is all that is
deemed necessary.
what do you think Tom has done now?' ex-
claimed Mrs s, looking up from her voluminous
correspondence which had engrossed her attention
for several minutes at the breakfast-table The
scene was laid in the dining-room of luxurious
Newport villa where the hostess and her guests
were idng a late breakfast and discussing the
various bits of gossip suggested by their letters
The Tom in question Mrs IS nephew
a clever young man OF ample means Out vi
cratic proclvites, who. finding the beaten pains
~ MAYFAIR too tame for his energetic spirit, was
continually trying strange experiments. lie had
been cowboy Arctic explorer, African traveller; he
had lived in the tents of the Arabs and OF the
North American Indians. and had joined bands OF
Mexican desperadoes and Italian brigands. Win
turn for politics. he was at one tme ooelahs'
and q, another a Fenian-always a radical. So no
wonder. when Mrs. S. propounded her query every
other subject was dropped, and numerous were the
coniectures hazarded until she gratihed her guests
curiosity Married his cook? Lost ms fortune
..rurned nriest % STARTED newspaper" Anything