The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1893-02-11
OUT SIGHTSEEING.
Our "Backwoods Belle" at the
National Capital
Quaint Description of Things Seen by
California GIrl-She Dotes on Bal
timore Oysters and Wonders Who
the Great People Are She Sees in
Washington.

Especial Correspondence REcoRD-UNIoN.l
Since last 1 laid down this quill and
Theoretically sealed the struggling flies in
the few remaining drops of ink it was my
pleasure and privilege to make pilgrim
age to the Mecca of the politicians and
the sweet Washington.
One fine day party consisting of some.
what less than half Il dozen took one Of
the three railroad lines that touch York
that is got aboard. We couldn't gel
aboard the fourth, for it is not fin
ished and did not go our direc-
ton anyway, and that is why
we took the one we did. We logged along
through the province of Maryland ovel
one of the serpentinest tracks you could
well imagine. The little stations are sc
close together that while the engine of a
long train is at No. the brakeman on
the rear platform OF the rear coach is
flirting with the hired ladies in the back
/ doors of No. |.
The Pennsylvania railroad system is
something quite perfect. They have a
neat little way Of taking in water with a
train at full speed A narrow flume
OF the track and is full of water. The
thirsty engine sails along and by some
| hocus pocus scoops the water into the
tank without stopping to take breath.
The freight trains are as long as the moral
law. There is pretty little legend float
ing around that sounds to this effect:
| 1.-The freight trains are so long that
brakemen cannot walk the length of them
IN halliday, and in order to attend to
brakes small elevated railway is placed
alongside, on which they travel back
and forth, thus saving time and shoe
leather
But anyhow, this road is not "as the
crow files" unless his crowship had con-
siderable of jag on. From the pictures
in a geography L studied way back in
the fall of '49 and the spring of 80, |
CLEANED the idea that Maryland held little
else but peaches, oysters and darkies.
This was erroneous only in part, for there
are many other things there beside these
commodities. Peaches were not in sea-
son, but darkies and oysters were. Balti-
more oysters, when you meet them on
their native soil. are sufficient to make a
man forgive his enemy. And when a
body stops to ponder on what they might
have been "befo' de wah'-but l didn't
stop to ponder; L took the goods the
| cooks provided, and sighed audibly for
more.
DdlliulOTc Is Il DGdullIul Guy. Inc
Town Council is not feeling me for a write
up, and l do not intend to puff them
free gratis and for nothing. 1t is quite a
large vlllage-larger than Sacramento,
yet not as large as Woodland thinks she
is. They seem well up with the times
have gas, and electric lights even, and
none of the richer citizens burn tallow
candles. You are there before you get
there-that is to say, the railroads have
tunneled under it like gophers for many
miles, and you speed along in smoky
darkness in the suburbs before you reach
the city proper,and stop in light and on
vice versa, rs the fellow said when he
stepped out of boat.
The face of the earth fairly, or rather
darkly, swarms with negroes. They are
most as thick as tramp printers in Cali
fornia when newspaper in Oregon sus-
ponds publication. There are all shades,
classes and kinds. By the way a sign 1
saw appended to house reads, "Going
out to white wash done here"
The distance between Baltimore and
Washington you accomplish in forty
minutes. When you alight you find
yourself right in the huge factory where
the laws are made. Truly, it is mag
niticent city, with broad, smooth streets,
shady walks, elegant homes, and quiet
but noticeable atmosphere of importance
Superb equipages go bowling down the
wide avenues, and from the intensely
naughty air of the black automaton
under cockaded silk tile, who holds the
reinS, we may fancy the inmates are
titled, or mayhap the sisters, cousins
or aunts attached to some well-paying
Government office. But it is only fancy
we have to guide us, for they may be
only rich and not blue blooded. That is
the trouble with the nobility and the
much bowed-down-to Office holders and
| of IL
body else, and you don't know them
when you meet them on the road. Ii
they were really better than the bour-
geois. don't you think they would have
some distinguishing mark on them? Saw
for instance an ear-mark. And so, as
there was no such distinguishing sign,
no doubt many passed us by whom, had
we known who they were, would have
received homage from us in quantities to
suit. Americans are the worst toadies in
the world. But l am getting into deep
water.
Ii you visit the National Capital and 90
everywhere and see everything in true
inquisitive Yankee style, as our party
did. you will come home with an apron
full of souvenirs and head full of a
tumble of sights, sounds, tastes, memories
and other things that would requires Phil
adelphla lawyer TO unravel for you. There
is guide | could recommend but, as he
is not a professional, perhaps he would
decline the honor of being recommended.
he carried guldebook, compass, an
umbrella, the cheek of a Government
mule, and in the one-score and seven
pockets destined to man he carried every
article Polar relief expedition might
require. | don't know whether the book
was a Badaeker, but it had red backs
and was certainly a double-deckes for in
formation. He did not get lost. He NAV
h, IN OF l..
but he stopped short as the mythical clock
and with a deliberation of movement
only eXcelled by State Printing Office
move, consulted that invincible compass
like the itinerant Mohammedan when he
spreads his prayer carpet, and the doubt
sped.
In the Treasury Department we were
permitted to walk around the huge cage
in vault that contained all the national
scads. There were many millions, so
many / cannot carry them in my head.
but it is more than l ever had in my life.
We were not shown the national debt
we were not even appraised of where it
was kept. L kept an eye out, but without
discovering it. Perhaps the attendant.
noticing our-travel stained and foot-sore
appearance. and knowing we could not
walk around it in less than week, knew
1t was useless TO propose trip around it.
One of the most heart-rending sights
met with is the destruction OF good paper
money. Seems pity, don't it, for that
keen, bright bladed knife to travel
through great stacks OF "redeemedn
money? Many million dollars worth are
destroyed each day-mashed to a pulp in
big iron tank concern by three officials
and great amount of red tape. There
are great festoons and arbors and cano-
pies of red tape, as luxuriant and thriv-
ing as the inevitable smilax bower at the
conventional wedding, but the tape does
not form very formidable network.
after all, and about every once in occa-
sionally some fellow makes big steal
as easy as falling off a Loo Soma Of