Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1893-02-15

ments, we'll posted in all the cur
rent matters of the times. lie
must possess capital enough, or
influence enough TO borrow the
amount, to buy n printing outfit.
With this he is expected 10 nun a
business the expense Of which con-
siderably exceeds the income,
when the energy of an ordinary
mortal Is eNerted. He resolves To
call main strength into play and
otliciato in the capacity of COM
positor, steam engine and dew
Al, in addition TO his editorial du-
ties. With this great burden up.
on him he is expected to know ev.
cry individual who "was in the
city, Saturday :" who eft for n Wis.,
tito other cities; know of all the
ten pound babies who make their
appearance know all the deaths
that occur, and write long, nowery
obituaries for them (perhaps de-
linquent subseribers), and com
pose poetry for their tomb-stones.
But this is not all of which the ed
itor has TO complain. Ia order to
farther economizo no employs in
experienced help who are willing,
but unable to execute their work
artistically. He hands one OF
them piece of copy, hastily writ
ten, IN moments snatched from the
time allotted for rost and recrea.
ton. IL was written under very
unfavorable circumstences aud.
being hurriedly done, probably the
penmanship was rather poor and a
few rs were not crossed and a few
is were left undotted; but he
prides himself that it is a fair ar.
ticle under tho circumstances. But
imagine his surprise when, after
the hurry has past, he picks up his
paper to see whether anything was
omitted.-"O, horrors :" Our thriv-
ing merchant is converted into a
Russian by substituting "in his
name" "W" for an 90" An
other wealthy patron is made a
"begger' for want Of an "r.p He
reads on little farther and he
discovers that where no intended
to have a letter that had been
omitted, inserted, it strayod TO the
wrong word aud acted very much
as IN the case Of the darkey who
asked the druggist fer n headache
remedy, had bottle OF harishorn
applied to his nose. When asked
whether it relieved him he said II
was ode ole woman who had do
headache"
In another place the spaces Of
a whole line arc left out 20 accom-
modato letter which was omitted
leaving tumble equal toau Egyp-
lain hieroglyphic. He gets an
! Rry and feels very much like
breaking of the lever from Wash
ing'on press and knocking two
half-Hedged cOmpositors into one
competent one, but his better ma
iure predominatos aud he con
tents himself in the thought Of
tarrng the devil (printer's deyill
with cheap poster ink and feather
ing him with hair spaces, or "two
ON" primer dashing t.
his head against the wall until he
seos nonpareil stars %, while be
looked daggors (ft) at him. Then,
could be know the thoughts Of the
editor, he would agree with tho
dead beat who was written up the
week before, that the quill driver
has no parallel CD Tor meanness.
But this is not the worst-rhe
sun shines out brightly on The
morning Of press-day and be
writes iu hi- local column. Fine
weather and by the time The issue
BE- run on iti blowing regular
blizzard. or perhaps 70 has not
rained for month, and be writes.
Hot aud dusty, and before tbe
paper is out fhs black clouds are
fairly deiugiag the earth Some
one reports the doath Of ora o.
ieemod citizen. aud ihe editor
faithful 90 his duty, writes a long
obituary carefully studying each
line. when BE- turns out ihAl the
person is not dead bot was taoughi
90 b. in q dying condition. end
the article EBds - way into ths
waste basket.