davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Hawaii,s Standing Army.

The standing army of Hawaii in
time of peace consists of seventy men.
Whom the dogs of war are let loose it
is swelled as high as 200 men some
times. The Hawaiian army rarely
Stands" however. 1t prefers to sit
down when it is not, on the dead run
for cover. Every man in the army has
different kind of uniform. The
equipment consists of almosts every
sort of noise producer, from bulldog
revolvers with bark like the bull of
Bashan to the matchbox that Capt.
Miles Standish used to kill Indians
with. If the rank and file stake a
notion" to obey the order of their
superior officers well and good. If
they choose not to obey, also well and
good. It's all the same to the officers,
and more SO to the rank and file.-
Syracuse Herald.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Small Men,

A mill owner not long ago issued tn
order that the girls in his emplG
should not wear laced shoes. The
reason he gave was that each ones
boots became united at least five times
day, and took at least FIVE seconds
to retie. When these twenty-five sec
onds were multiplied by 300-the num-
Der of girls in his employ-the loss of
time was, he said, too serious to sub
NIT to. Another mill owner, talking
over this case, said he had forbidden
visitors because each of his ''hands"
turned her head to look ut them. Com
putting twenty visitors day and two
seconds for the heads turning to each
of his 600 employees, made over six
hours daily wasted in that gesture.
Statistics are memorable things. -New
York Times.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Ono Song Was written.

elm Thornton, who just now occu-
pies a position of extreme promin-
ence in the Tenderloin precinct hasn't
a very high opinion of human intelli-
gence as displayed in the swell cafes.
He tells this story to show that his
opinion in this respect is correct:
During the excitement about the
nearness of Mars to the earth he was
sitting in the rear room of a Broad
way cafe, fat broke, but very thirsty.
He had nothing to do so he sat down
and wrote a song, which he called
"My Sweetheart's the Man in the
Moon"
When he finished it he offered it to
the bartender for couple of drinks
and dollar. The bartender laughed
at him, and Jim walked away with
his thirst and the song. Pretty near
ly every one knows the song now, and
the royalty from it allows Jim to
spend $50 week in tho cafes all over
town. New York Journal.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

THE French arc In modern days
the worlds canal builders. 1t was
French enterprise that built che Suez
canal. Though the Panama canal is
failure, new French enterprise
is nearing completion, a canal through
the Isthmus of Corinth, saving the
long journey around the capcs of
Southern Greece and connecting the
Mediterranean and the Egean seas
Such a canal was ages ago declared
feasible, but only in modern times
has there been enough enterprise
and capital to complete it. The cost
is 500. 100000 and it is to DO opened
for travel on the 23d OF next April.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Annoying.

"These here smart ducks make me
tired, said the man on the second
chair, after he had released his victim
and called 'next!" to row of empty
chairs.
"Why-wha' d he sayp" asked 9
follow butcher.
"Well, he gets into the chair an !
runs my hand over his head, m says:
Have that hair trimmed up little
to-dayP'
"Then he looks at hisself in the
glass, an runs his hand over his head,
an he says. says he: .Well-I'd know;
think it orta beP'
Needs it purity bad,' I says to
him, gettin' ready.
"'Well. I'd know he says, sort O.
weary like, m undecided; i guess
I'll try n get along with it another
day had it cut yesterday. ~
Puck.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Stole c Grave.

Two or three of the Kansas regi-
ments, among them the Fifth, were in
camp at Helena, sometimes brigaded
with the Fourth Iowa. At the same
time the Second Wisconsin Cavaly was
there, a fine, soldierly, highly respect
able command. One of the Second Wis
consin died, and his comrades with
proper decorum prepared for regular
military funeral. Some went out and
dug q grave and returned to camp be-
fore the funeral procession moved. 1t
happened the same day that the Fifth
Kansas also had on hand the body of a
departed patriot. Not being given to
idle ceremonies, they simply carried it
off to the burying-ground, intend
ing to dispatch the business without
unnecessary expense Of time. The
Wisconsin party had not yet arrived,
and the Kansans found grave ready
and waiting for tenant. What was
the use Of digging another? The de-
funct "Jayhawker' would not care who
prepared his "home." They dropped
him in, quickly filed in the earth and
went back to their camp or their horse
racing. Presently came the mournful
column of the Wisconsins, marching as
a funeral guard of honor, with solemn
, tread and wailing dirge, their faller
comrade borne at their head. The dig
gers led them to the spot where they
had left an open grave. The rest may
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

IT may be some time before human
beings are whisked from place to
place through a pneumatic tube, but
the day of freight carriage between
contiguous cities by that method is
at hand. 1t is the most expeditions
and could apparently be made the
cheapest method OF sending small
packages, and eventually large ones.
A hundred miles an hour by the pro-
posed electric railroads would be
rather slow compared with pneumatic
possibilities.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Lost a Sale.

was visiting some friends in min
ing town in Upper Michigan, and had
called one evening at fancy dry goods
store to make some small purchases.
While standing chatting with the
woman proprietor, a man opened the
door, and walked, or rather stumbled
in. He was typical woodsman in red
shirt, plaid pantaloons and outside
boots. He spoke very brokenly, and
had, as was evident from the aromatic
odor which permeated the room, been
slipping too frequently from the cup
that cheers, and also inebriates. APP
preaching the counter he leaned
heavily upon it, and asked in broken
tones;
''Wud we tap boot, mom?''
"What do you mean?" inquired the
astonished woman.
"Tap ee boot?"
He held up a dilapidated foot, and
nearly lost his balance as he again
asked brokenly:
"Tap er-er-boot?"
"No, don't tap boots. But can
sell you pair of baby's boots" and
the little woman industriously pro-
ceeded to make sale, for she knew
her customer had plenty of money and
baby into the bargain.
But at that moment the door opened
and a tall big form in q long overcoat
appeared, the strong arm of the law
reached in, grabbed the red shirt by
the collar, and yanked its wearer out
of doors. 1t was the depot policeman
after the bibulous lumberman.
The little woman behind the counter
looked hurt.
"Well," she said in grieved tone
"they say the law protects folks, but il
spoiled fifty-cent sale for me that
| time"
And she restored the little boots K
the showcase with q vigorous hand.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Chaperons of college Girls.

A serious drawback to the cause of
higher education for women in the
English universities is reported FROM
Oxford. The cost of ''chaperonage"
has risen. The older women, who are
considered indispensable escorts to the
girl students who attend examinations
and lectures, are demanding and re-
ceiving higher pay than ever before.
In many cases the students cannot af-
ford to meet this increased expense,
and daring reformer has suggested
that chaperons be dispensed with.
While this has Mortified the conserva-
tives, it has pleased the Independent
young women, who are beginning to
realize that there is no lurking peril in
the streets of Oxford.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
ON Pictairn I.Iand.

Pitcairn island, where the descend
ants of the mutineers Of the Bounty
live in seclusion and primitive content
ment. boasts of being absolutely free
from the vice of drinking. The prohi-
bition laws there touch not only
liquors, but tobacco. A shipwrecled
sailor named Coffin, who was cast
ashore there few months ago, had
managed to save his dearly cherished
pipe and pouch Of tobacco. The chief
magistrate of the colony promptly in.
formed him that he must give mp
smoking II he wanted to enjoy their
hospitality, and when he refused he
was so cffectually boycotted that he
40 this ocean paradise by the first
Spsing ship. Capt. Bailey of the
american merchantmen vigilant from
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

Plenty of II. suoh - II ID. and p,...
% Resders.

Plenty OF IT, sush :. Il Ii. and ri..,,
II may be claimed by some that !.
the near future the civilized por,,l
Of the human race viii consist Of noss
Ing but poets what ''proseistsn a.
then-to speak somewhat rugeed,v
may God help the savages. Man. =.
want Of an audiem,e. tired of readins
continually what none OF his breth
rem can afford to listen to (beine aim
ilarly situated themselves), will ru,A
to the wilds of Arizona or to foreioa
shores and force the wretched. bsin'
less inhabitants to lend their ears
like Marc Antony's countrymen.
Other countries doubtless hav.
their share Of the reign OF learning
bat in these United States it has had
Its surest and greatest development
says the Denver Times. Look at tia
myriads Of newspapers. magazines
and periodicals; glance over the list
OF dailies and weeklies (there ara
seventy in Denver), study the list Of
books and the growth that literature
has made must be admitted, An en-.
thusiast may we'll ask: "Was there
ever such universal spread OF en-.
lightenment; such universal baptism
OF Heliconlan firop" Athens and
Rome never dreamt of such an av.
alanche Of literature even in their
palmiest days The library Of Alex.
andria. destroyed by a vagrant Moor,
had several hundred thousand manu-.
script papyrus rolls. but 1t is q small
American weekly that does not claim
that circulation and swear to it when.
ever called upon to do so.
The history OF English literature,
beginning with Caedmon, the Anglo
Saxon, resembles the flow OF the
Mississippi from its source, widening
gradually till it reaches the Gulf Of
Mexico and becomes part of the ocean.
1t is not true, as general state
ment, that the art of writing has de-
Perforated. 1t is perhaps not so ex-
act, and it is most assuredly more
volatile. It is true that much OF the
poetry and prose of early literature
WOuiu hoV 10 idNOIdUiy tOSS1ttQ ny
readers of the present day.
Some of 1t has quaint rudeness,
and might attract attention on that
account, but the greater portion of it
would be voted dull, heavy and
stupid. and to be read only by the
dry-as-dust antiquary. There are
bright lights along the stream here
and there. beginning from the in
fancy Of English literature, and there
have been periods in its flow, whose
compact brilliance exceeds that OF the
present day-that of Shakespeare and
Milton. of Pope and Addison, for in
stances. But in these modern days
we excel in the number Of minor
writer's. Who in these days really
and truly reads Miltonp The dear
public does not to any appreciate ex-
tent. He does not interest. And
who reads Shakespeare Relatively
ff
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Congratulations.

They were on train going from
Cleveland to Columbus, Ohio. The
train was crowded and the last man
on took the first seat he could find.
Going to ColumbusP" he asked,
after few minutes.
YES" was the response of the
first conner, who, by the way, was
quite respectable looking person.
"Legislaturep"
mo"
"Penitentiary"
"No."
"Ah, let me congratulate you. Two
tried both. Detroit Free Press.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Blood Up Tor the Radge.

Many were the thrilling episodes and
adventures OF the great war which fell
In fascinating recitals from the lips OF
Gen. Sherman, but they are either re-
corded in the pages of his autebiog-
raphy, or are too long and discursive to
set down here. One little fash Of
humor is, perhaps, worth preserving
from all the war talk which we en-
joyed.
General Thomas" said he, 'junior
to me in rank, but senior In service,
was stern disciplinarian. He had re-
ceived many complaints about the pill
fering and plundering committed by
one of his brigades, and, being re-
solved to put this pffense down, he L.
sued some very strict orders, menacing
with death any one who should trans
gress: The brigade in question wore
for it's badge an acorn, in silver or
gold, and the men were Unfortunately
fond Of this distinctive sign. Several
cases of disobedience had been re-
ported to the General, but the evidence
was never strong enough for decisive
action, until one day, riding with an
orderly down a by-lane outside the
post, Thomas came full upon an Irish
man who, having laid down his rifle,
with which he had killed hog, was
busily engaged in skinning the ANNA
with his sword bayonet, 50 as to make
easy work with the bristles, ETC., be-
fore cooking some pork chops.
"'Ah,' cried the General, you rascal,
at last have caught one of you in the
act. There is no mistake about it this
time, and will make an example of
you, SIR
"'Bedad, General, honeyr said the
man, Strengthening himself up and
coming to- the salute, it's not shootin'
me that you ought to be at, but re-
wardin' me-
"'What do you mean, STRIP exclaimed
Gen. Thomas.
"'Why your Honor the soldier re-
piled, this bad haste here had just
been disicratin' the regimental badge,
and so was forced to dispatch him.
It's attn the acorns found him atl'
even Gen. Thomas was obliged to
laugh at this, and the soldier saved
his life by his wit."-London Tele.
graph.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
An Infant No Longer.

A student Of comparative politics
points out the fact that the government,
of the United States is among the old.
est of civilized governments now exist
ing in the world, since most European
countries have been to considerable
degree revolutionizcd since the first
election of George Washington to the
Presidency. The French Republic, the
present German Empire and the Italian
Kingdom, considered as political enti-
ties, are but youngsters beside the CEN
tury-old American Republic.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
The Last stanxa.

The following is suggested by com
rade as an additional stanza to March
ing Through Georgia."
Our Sherman has stopped marching now,
He has crossed the Golden Shore;
He has answered to the roll-call
OF his comrades gone before;
He has bivouacked with the boys In blue
As just all through the war,
When we were marching through Georgia
Hurray, Murray, what shouting there
will be,
Hurray, Murray, their leader when they
see,
Who1ed them through the trials
From Atlanta to the sea,
As we were marching through Georgia.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

If immigrants to this country had
always been OF tho character OF those
Waldenses who propose to come, 1000
strong, from the Italian side of the
Cottian Alps and settle in North
Carolina, there never would have
been any disposition manifested in
this country to restrict immigration.
No harder. moro rcsolute race OF
people, more determined in what
they conceive to be right. ever lived
than have been these Waldenscs.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

MosT people will be astounded to
ind on investigation that the annex
alton OF the Sandwich islands would
not give the United Srate, territory
Iurther west than any it now pos
sesses. Honolulu, tho capital, is
some 1000 miles west of San Fran
cisco, but it is nearly thirty degrees
EAST OF tho longitude OF Attoo, the
Hesternmost OF the Aleutian isles,
which are included in Alaska.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

Y *.
Rundown's Board OF Trade.
The little town Of Rundown lay sprawiing on
| the plain,
dust cloud In the sunshine and a.mud lake In
the rain;
Tho little town OF Rundown was q town Of nc
For the little town OF Rundown was q very run
down town.
But Rundown was content rs oil rundown
What was good enough for gransir, said each
man, ''is good for me-
Good for gransir, and his grandsir, and his
great-grcat-g eat grand-dad
What upstart sacrilege for mo TO say that It is
bad"
There is 4 worthy kind OF man, with cobwebs in
his head.
Who lives in sweet communion with the ages
that are dead:
Another says, "How happy my contemporaries
That they happen to be living simultaneously
with me-"
bold wight OF this latter class whom naught
could make afraid
Once shamelesslys gested they should start
board OF trade.
So that Rundown rot no longer In its somno
lent decay,
Firmly anchored to the graveyard, waiting fer
the Judgment Day.
Long and bitter waged the BATTLE: epithets
flew fast and free.
The dead past and the living present graphing
for the mastery;
But when to-day fights yesterday, It always
wins the raid
And SO decrepit Rundown organized its board
OF trade.
Then the Rip Van Wrinkle hamlet frst began
to stretch and yawn.
And above ITS drowsy mountains SEQ the rosy
steps OF dawn;
For the cemetery dawdlcrs were compelled to
drop the reins
Which were seized by modern live men with
new eras In their brains.
They beckoned for the railroad, with its steeds
OF smoke and flame.
The railroad thirty miles away-they motioned
and 1t came,
And when the road came into town. with all its
rush and roar
The medieval deafness OF the place returned
no more.
For twenty men OF purpose town can re,
create,
A hundred men in earnest can organize State; |
And empires OF wide renown have, like u seed, |
lain curled.
Within single strong mans Skull-then |
burst-and filed the world.
So new banks, the fiorid arteries the blood OF |
wealth flows through;
New papers, wise eyangels Of the modern and
the new;
View halls, Low schools, new homes, indeed,
new and second birth,
The Rundown board Of trndo brought down o ].
new heaven and earth.
And thus the town progressed upacS md never
ceased to thrive;
A witness to what man can do when he Is once
alive:
Thus Rundown, II was rescued from its slow,
decaying doom.
md In its place a city sprung, the glorious
town'of Boom.
-ISam Walter Foss in Yankee Blade
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
lincoln as a VersIfor.

T. j. McMunn, of San Antonio,
Texas, says: San old friend of mine
named Cabaniss recently told me that
Abraham Lincoln worked for his father
in 1899. At that time great rise oc-
CURED in the Sangamon river, and a
steamboat, taking advantage of the
high water, came up the stream. Ny
friend was then a child, and the
whistling of the boat frightened him
Lincoln, then tall, angular young
man, took him in his arms and carried
him aboard the boat. After the de-
parture of the craft Lincoln wrote
some rhymes about the incident, ono
verse of which the Cabaniss fnmily
preserved. 1t runs thus:
The Illinois Suckers. green and raw
Collected on the Sangamav
To see boat some up tne stream,
They surely thought II was dream"
"For this doggerel he invented Q
melody, and he and others sang It.
The song never found its way into
print. The elder Cabaniss always told
his children that the amiable, kindly
Lincoln would develop into q great
man"
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

A MAN nearly 20 years old, living
In York, Pa, has lately studied law
and has been admitted to practice at
the bar Some criticism has been
made on this unusual action, as II at
his age the man should be thinking
OF another world. But he perhaps
believes that in that other world the
first duty he will have will be to
plead before court that makes no
mistakes, and he thinks it best to
have some practice in pleading He
should remember the law maxim that
..whoever acts as his own lawyer has
fool for client" That maxim
quite likely will prove hereafter az
true as II is here and now.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
Soil Matter.

II the nutritious matter of the soil
Is carried down below the roots Of
some plants the plant form may be
unavailable. But all plants do not
feed alike, as some reach down into
the substil and bring up the plant
food again, which is stored in the
stalks and leaves. 1t Is IN this man
ner that clover performs such excel
lent service; and the fact explains
why clover always leaves the land in
better condition than before, wheE
sitver sod Is turned under.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
OF Interest to Veterans.

In his first annual report, Col. F. c.
Ainsworth, Chief of the Record and
Pension Bureau of the War Depart
ment, says that the index-record card
system, which has been instituted in
that bureau, has made it possible for a
small number of clerks to keep the
work up 10 date. Under the present
| system 40 clerks are able to answer
1000 calls day, while under the old
system $50 clerks could only make an
average of $50 such reports per, day.
Under the new system all that Is
needed to make an exhaustive search
Of a mans entire military record
(Which includes the hospital record he
may have), is the name of the soldier,
his company and regiment. If these
be given, lack of knowledge on the
part of the claimant, or his widow, de-
pendent parents or children, or the
willful Withholding of information by
the claimant of a record which might
disqualify him from receiving a PEN
sion, are unimportant matters to the
bureau.
Besides this, the system now in use
in this bureau, enables the history of
every soldier to be accurately given,
which in times past was an utter i'm
possibility, for the reason that the
hospital records, containing more than
10000, 900 entries, were without an in
dex, and the labor was too great to
permit careful search of the records.
A test of the new system was made,
which covered period of ten years
prior to the use of the new system.
One hundred cases for each year were
taken at random, so as to fairly repre-
sent the whole ten years. They had
all been returned to the Pension Office
without any record of hospital treat
ment or disability, being found
These 1000 cases were then re-exam-
ined by the index-record card system to
ascertain if they disclosed hospital
treatment, or disability, and evil
dence of treatment in from one to a
dozen different hospitals in 295 cases
out of the 1000 examined was found.
Under the old system Col. Ainsworth
thinks that at least one-third of the
claims were returned without evidence,
many of the cases being those of
widows and orphans, in which direct
and positive evidence of disability
would have been found under the
present system. ''-
This system also prevents the use of
the original records of the bureau,
which are already in deplorably
mutilated condition because of frequent
handling by the clerks. The original
muster-rolls have been patched, many
of them copied and have been put in
the best condition possible under the
circumstances. The work of this
bureau is brought up to date each day
of the week and complaints are no
longer heard from other Departments
of the Government from this cause.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

A DISPOSITION to pick flaws in the
huge and complicated fabric OF an in
ternational exposition ought not to
be unduly INDUCED. Eagerness to
lind fault is not only discourteous
but unpatriotic when the credit of
the country is involved. Criticism
which aims at improvement is legiti-
mate and may be valuable, but carp
ing does great deal moro harm than
rood
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08

MICHIGAN

'PRYsrDENr DfAz OF Mexico may ~
Q tyrl-it and one or ito other things
rather Objectionable, but when his
administration for the first time In
the history of his country manages
to negotiate a loan Mt par. there is
evidence OF confidence In tho stability
OF the rule he furnishes that Is hard
to gadnsay.