Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-01-07
PITH AND POINT.

Perhaps II was the Deardeu lauy VINO
said 'sMy face is my fortune. Wash
ington Star.
"That is a growing evil" remarke |
Huntingdon, as the taby next door be-
gan to howl. Truth.
The ocnlist and the dentist are always
ready to furnish an eye for an eye aud
tooth for a tooth.-Truth.
A thief is generally distant in his man.
mer If he suspects an officer is after him.
--Binghamton Republican.
1t is quite possible for folks to shine
intellectually without being light
ded.-Philadelphia Times.
81 appear to have my wits about M,
said the comic editor, as his contribu-
tors fiocked in upon him. Truth.
The comet can't expect to be we'll re-
ceived by the earth when there is sucn
shocking tail going round about it,
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Commercial travellers support two
thirds of the country hotels, to say moth
ing Of instructing the proprietors how to
manage them. Hotel Mail,
Mrs. Cumso-"You ought to have
seen Willie Whiffets tear up the street. p"
Oumso-''I think he ought to be made
to put it down again. Judge.
Weary watkins-''I've got SIGH pain
in me stummick." Hungry Higgins
"You're in luck. | hain't even got that
in mine. "-IndianapOlis Journal.
Perhaps the strongest advocate of an
extra session is the young man whose
best girls parents hold him down to one
call per week -Washing tou Post.
Maude-"wh do you associate with
that odious Miss Friztop9' Genevieve
-"Shl Miss Friz:op is the sister of
four brothers. "-CnIcago News Record.
"A penny for your thoughts, my love-
He sail in cosxing tone.
cit seems an awful swiudle, dear.
For they're of you, iii own
chicago Inter Ocean.
Perthshire VI ssionary Ito poor and
motherless bov-"But why is your
father not steady3' Boy (reaectlvelN--
"Cause he's got a wudden lcs D Indee
Courier.
"Papa, asked the snail boy, "what
is dignity" Dignity, my sou, re
piled the father, Consists principally Of
a tall hat and frocl coat. Buffalo
Express.
Our gardener would make COOL vii
lain in melodrama. "Nhy so|
"Because he is always laying out plots
that amount to nothing in the end. ~
Boston Gazette.
Bob (who has been rea ling SEA story
~ wonder what a minute gun is,
Tom2 Do you know~ Tom-"Yes,
of course; one that'II shoot like sixty
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Fricnd-''It seems to me that have
seen something like that before. WAT
is that painting atter?' Impecunious
Artist-"At present it is after q pur.
chaser. '-Hsrvard Lsmpoon.
Foreigner (walking through the Pub
lie Garden) --"What odd pieces of sat
uarf you have in America american
-"Why, those are not s,stalfy, they
are workmeu. Harvard LsmpOoo.
Little Tommy-"Wnat is ths9 man
cutting the trees for, papal' Tommy
Paps-"He is pruning them, my boy
Little Tom ny-"How soon will the
prunes be rlpe2"-Pnilai elphia Record.
The Professor (sentcntiously)-"The
dread of thunder storm is one of tle
most deeprooted weaknesses of mankind,
1t is chiefly observable among old women
of both sexes. "-Humoristische Blaetter
All moist and cod h. SON will bs
As comtortless as he can ue,
But with a calm delight he'll grin
He showed the boys that ice was thin
Washington Star.
Mrs. Aunt ordered dress pattern
here yesterday, to be sent. wonder il
it has been cut YETI" Floor Walker
"Certainly not, madam. TIE salesman
said you hadn't been in yet to chang
your mind. st. Louis Republic.
N. Peck-"rd have you know,
madam, that have as much right tc
vontilute my opinions as you have.
Mrs, Peck-"BIt, my dear, your opiu
ions don't need ventilatins. They're a..
wind, anyway. "-Indiauapolis Journal
Husband Grrltably-"Can't you re
member where said left my glasses Al
breakfast this morningf" Wife-"ru
sorry. dear, really can't" Husband
(peevishly-"That just shows the for
getfulness of you women. Harvard
Lampoou.