The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-13
ON SUMMER.
Ths Rov. whangdoodlo Baxtor Flakes q
Eow Hentod Remarks.

low h0hto0 ftonlnrkB.
! Teller Citizens-A few weeks more and
den hit will be so hot dat de man who don't
f. wear a sponge in his hat will be in danger
. OBJ sunstroke. In short time we will hab
| such sultriness in de atmosfere dat you
can't help lubin de man who treats you
cool
| Yes. indeed, de wedder will mos likely
be SO hot dat you will feel grateful ter de
ynan who GIBBS you "a freezin recepshun.n
Yer twill chen 'preshiate "a cold, dull stare"
| Yes, berlubbed bredren and sstern, de
wedder will be SO hot dat, like de boy who
slid down pecan tree so fast dat he barkcd
de skin often his hands, you will say, II
don't banker for no hotter climb den dis"
Heah! yeah! yeahl
| Seeing Matilder SNOWFALL i'm the amen
corner all cobered ODER wild ribbins and
| 'flshal flowers, I am reminded oh de fact
dat summer am n great time for engage
ments. Hits all OWN ter de fac dat de fe-
male sect am more apt ter be in n melting
mood Mt dat season oh de yeah
Hits mighty hard predictin pelzachly de
kline OF wedder we am gwinter hab but
hits safe ter say dat if
In June, July and Angus no rain dar be-
very dry summer you'll surely Sec
Likewise hits n sweat day when de mer-
curry is above 80. De good book saws dat
hit rains on de just and on de unjust, but
de unjust am ginerally pervided wild ON
brellers, which dey does not return. Hits
! early in de season, but has already missed
my green silk umbreller and mourned be-
kase I found it not
/ has notised dat peoples am foolisbest in
hot wedder. A man will set for hours in
| de shade in his offs or in his house widout
vest or coat, but when he gets up ter got
out in de hot sun be dresses up warm in
| bofe.
What's dat you says, Sam Johnsing?
| You wants ter know if etiquette demands
a vest in hot wedder? l isn't sure. but if
etiquette do den she kin hab mine. will
likewise state for your special benefit, Sam
Johnsing, dat etiquette demands dat YOU
keeps on de outside OBJ de watermelon
patches nn de hen roosts. no matter what
sort OBJ wedder am on tap.
| Right in de midst oh dis warm wedder de
| queshun am bein cussed and discussed.
IAN profanity on dc increase?" l say dat
she am. Day before yesterday happened
to say in a street kear, Hits darn hot, {"
and den seein a lady in de kear hadn't no
tesed, Miss Blanche Pearlpowder, polo
| gized, but she spoke up and said, 'Parson
Whangdoodle, yer pologize for hits n
| blamed sight hotter den dis"
In conolushun, Teller sinners hit seems
mighty singlcr dat folks complains OBJ de
heat, and yet dey keeps right on sinnin
wusser den ebber, when dey knows, for l
has done tole 'em, day am shore ter bring
up in place what's heap hotter den New
York, whar dar's wcepin and wailn, and
| de heat am so obstreperous dat de debble
| gibs yer ladleful of melted lead dat
tastes like ice cream
OATS de hotel where you dsrcpentant
sinners am gwinter rastle yer hash, spe-
shially dem what sleeps in church and dis
turbs dem what's pantin for de waters OBJ
life. Uncle Nose, will yer kindly stick
pin in dat yeler ash cat, Matilder Snowfall,
who's snorin in the amen corner?
AS yore belubbed pasture will hab ter &C
to de seaside ter glib his tired brain IL res,
hope de collecshun will he more copious den
las Sunday.
DE quire will now sing Rocked In de
Cradle OBJ de Deep "-Tcxas Siftings