New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-05-28
THE "SYMPOSIUM.n
EXTRACTS FROM AN IMPORTANT DISC USSION
IN THE LAND OF NOD REVIEW

IN THE LAND OF NOD REVIEW"
CThe Editor Of "The Land Of Nod Review has long
felt that thorough, scholarly and authoritative dis
cussion ought to be had OF that vital social question
Ought the dog to wag the TAIL or the tail the dogf
Realizing that the treatment OF difficult and i'm.
portant a subject fell naturally to THE Land OF
Nod Review he decided upon symposium OF ito
able contributors. who, he need scarcely say, com.
prise the great bulk OF the best thinkers and the
ripest minds OF the present day. The editor takes
peculiar pride In herewith laying Ieforc his readers
this great and epoch-marking symposium
The view Of Senator pulQue OF Ncw-MexcO.
Il approach this wcighty question with full
OF the honor conferred upon me I'm being asked
to contribute to publication able and far reaching
in It's influence is The Land OF Nod Review and
also with perfect realization OF the necessity which
exists that the people Of my great Territory, which
exports more unsated hides and terked beef than
State In the Union. should be heard from on this
subject. II may be allowed to paraphaSe cele.
brated remark OF distinguished and eloquent citizen
Of IA ncighbcrng state-I refer to the Hon. Webster
Flanagan, Of Te>as-I only inquire, What L.
the dog here for! The dog can wag the tail and In
my opinion he ought TO do It. IN the words Of
another celebrated statesman, 10 the vctors belong
that It belongs to the dog is beyond question More
than this believe that the dog could claim the right
Of vagging his tail on the ground OF eminent domain
The opinion Of the Hon. Mr. PUNK, Of Georgia.
thusasm and ardent warmth Of feeling which ever
pulsates in the bosom Of one born and nurtured in
this sunny cline OF intoxicating flowers, melodious
birds and handsome women. / feel deeply on this
subject and shall express myself plainly. believe
that the tail should wag the dog! The right Of the
tail to wag Itself cannot be disputed by any sane
person. This is conferred upon It by nature. The
right OF the tail TO wag the dog Is based on the
fact that the dog has too many other things to do
to attend to wagrng himself. therefore 1t IS clearly
the duty Of the tail to wag him. These conclusions.
sideration and am sir ready to maintain them, here
or elsewhere, and IN such manner aS may DE agreed
upon by the seconds"
Convictions OF Mr.. Mission. President OF the Tall
Timber County (Mass) AntiVivisection Society:
There Is something far deeper and more I'm.
portant in this question than the mere expediency
OF dog wagging his tail or allowing IL 10 wag
him. We have right to inquire into the subject
at all The next thing We know. some so-called
scientist. at heart las most scientists are)
will be standing a poor dog on the rack and making
him torture himself by striving TO his tail while
his tail IS struggling to wag him. In the name OF
the Tall Timber Anti-vivisectIon Society demand
to know II such things are 10 BET What say the
enlightened people Of America to such barbartyf
How my heart bleeds for the poor dogs daily sub
jected to such torment! Picture to yourself the
scene, as poor, harmless noble dog stands on
marble slab. while bloody minded scientist
urges the animal to wag his tail and another heart
less thing in the outward guise OF man, does all
that his fendlsh and diabocal nature can conceive
Of induce the suffering tail to wag the paintorn
dog. What say the mothers OF America TO such
things this. which, It Il well known, are daiy
being practsed In the torture chamber OF our labora
tories I say the remedy for this shameless ana
terrible state Of affairs is to give woman inc na1t,
Until that time comes must poor dumo noes ne
hourly wrenched TO pieces In an attempt to settle
In The name OF the Tall Timber County AnVivisec-
ton Society protest against it!'
Conclusions OF Mr.. Higgnbotham Paddleford. the
eminent Boston satistcian and political economist:
"Let us settle this question by bringing 1t into tho
clear radiance OF fact There at the time OF the
last census, in the United States dogs as follows:
North Central Section. 24o,s57 Middle Section.
564 400: South Central Lower Edge. 1.10s.045; West
Central Corner G9O.213; Northwest Central Strip,
49,. 666: Pacific Coast, 3jSo04. This gives us
grand total OF 3.3o9.477 dogs In the United States
Deductng from this o4.371 dogs born without tails
4os 42s which had lost their tails through either acc
dent or design. % $50 about which their owners re-
fused give the facts and GO,334 which were going
so fast that the enumentor could not be sure as to
the exact OF their tails 1t leaves us with $780,
o04 dogs and the same number Of tails. Again do
Quoting 1.cA.3l5 dogs whose tails remained fixed
during the call Of the enumeration. and 6s4.os which
bit the enumerator and hourished their tails wildly 1t
leaves us total Of sGO,771 dogs observed and noted
or these. II is surprising to learp that In 43O3sS
the dog wagged the tan. while IN eHactIy me
same number Of Instances the tail wnSged The DOG;
leaving dog. reported from the South Central
stub-eud which alternately waGged his tail and al
any question the great value OF Statistics
Convictions Of General Post Prandial, the widely
celebrated after-dInner speaker:
In approaching this question which + really much
vital than is generally supposed. am reminfed
OF the old conundrum 10 the best point at which 10
cut of dogs tail the answer being Just behind the
ears.' when small boy remember that one
OF neighbors had dog 50 BIG that II II happened
to hit me when wagcing It's tail II would knock ne
over. I only conjecture what would have been
the result had the tail remained stationary and swung
the dog around and struck ME. BY the way. am
reminded to ask II the dogs brought up In our New
York fats which, owing TO the lack OF space learn 10
wag their tails up and down. are TO be Included IN
thi, important inquiry l find that | have already
exceeded the limits OF my space and can only say
in closing that must rally round this great prob
lem as one grand united people. knowing no South.
no North no East, no West but with calm faith IN
Constitutional Government and that the right must
clGslon can BE- arrived at than the one have ont
lined. am glad OF the chance which TINS mas NJ
fordcd me 10 put myself unaerably on record as up,
holding the side Of right, justice and ultimate victory
The ideas OF Mrs. May jerks Tradefellow. the poet
OF passion. author OF Conrad Fuioso' Eight kuh'"
Lives" And We Cast Away the Decalogue. TRACK
Went Ny Hcart!' spring Footwear and Trou'erines
for Gentlemen How Wives Abuse Their Husbands
fought Walters to Wear Mustaches - ETC.:
1t seems TO that the best way 10 settle ms
question Is TO pug dogs. The pug's tall curS so
tightly that 1t can neither be wagged nor wag the
dog. The tendency Is think, in the beau monde to
employ pugs more and more
| As seen by the Rev. Mr.. Recentcall
"What must look ut In this question. AZ In all
Others is the right and wrong Of IT, for there Is
right and wrong TO everything. When was Il little
Goy this was early impressed upon me. ami while
was in Europe last summer became still further con-
WINGED OF IT,. The problem. then. Is To fni ont the
right and let that become our rule Of action In the
matter. How easy II all becomes now! some claim
that the dog should the tail Others that the tail
should wag the dog. Each side Is honest in its con-
vlctIon Bat each makes the slight and perfectly
natural mistake Of going very little too far FOR the
true solution is as we have seen to let the dog wag