The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-03-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Not a common bark-An ocean grey
hound New York journal.
On the roll of fame-The champion
wheelman. Galveston News.
A discarded official standing about is
out of place.--New Orleans Picayune.
The man who fancies he writes poetry
frequently wrongs it.-New York Morn
ing Journal.
Old Diogenes would have had an
anxious time of it in France. .--Louisville
Courier journal.
It is certainty of continuance, not the
present amount, that is the measure of
kindness.-Puck.
When there is a great falling off in
hod-carrier's business some one gets hurt.
New Orleans PicaYune.
The best cure for trouble is labor.
Who ever heard of wood sawyer COM
mitting suicide9-BuGalo Enquirer.
Law, physic or divinity
Which is the easiest of the three?
Divinity; because the fact is
IT'S easier preaching than to practice.
Judge.
Little Elsie-"Who was Shakespeare,
pa2" Scribblems (the play wright)-
zone of my predecessors, child. Tit
Bits.
Just as soon as young man finds that
he can't have girl he begins to imagine
that he can't do without her.-Dallas
News.
"This is a vane struggle" as the
breeze said after trying and failing to
turn the weatherc1ck.- ck.--Philadelph
Record.
No man can sleep well in cloudy
weather when he knows that he has a
sandy foundation under his house.
Rams Horn.
Most creatures are entirely harmless
when they are asleep. But the moth
does the most mischief when it is taking
a nap.-Siftings.
"What am looking for" said Big
glps Just after he had rented telephone,
ais the man who said that talk is cheap"
Washington Star.
He (painting) you were l, Miss
Maud, l wonder how you'd treat this
subject" She (posing)-"Oysters. -
Kate Fields Washington.
at is an odd thing" mused Indigest-
icus, "that the same food which makes
the brain so stupid by day, keeps it so
ferociously active at night. Puck.
The Professor-"Ah, Miss IRIS, it's
very pretty, but it's not the least like
the model. Pm afraid you've painted
the eyes out of your own head. Punch.
Oh, from that swell deliver US
Ot whom il may he said
The sweetness is most noted in
The region of the heal.
Washington Star
sIIargie," called Mulligau to his ac-
comphshed daughter. "What do you
want7' "Is the piauny bruk or are you
playin' classical Washington
| Star.
"But why do you always hear them
called etchings3" Father-"Um-er-
well, suppose because it takes such
hard scratching to pay for them. Inter
Ocean.
J "The early bird gets the worm,"
mused the big fowl. "pll just hang
round in a lelsurey way till he does, and
then Ill take it away from him. Wash
ington Star
son the Verge OF the Unknown is
the title of an editorial in a recent issue
of the Fort Worth Gazette. SO they
have hash in Texas too, do theys-
! Chicago Mail.
Mother to her child, who has just
had some sweets given her by the man
opposlte) do you say to the
gentleman, Mabell' Mabel-"Haye you
got any more, please"-Judy.
Diner" Waiter, | find have just
money to pay for the dinner; but it
nothing in the way of tip for yourself. "
Waiter-"Let me add up the check
again, sir."-New York Herald.
Tommy Figg-" Sisters beau kicked
my dog yesterday, but gos even with
him, you bet." johnny Briggs-"HowP'
Tommy Figg-''I mixed quinine with
her face-powder. indianapolis SEN
tinel.
While Mr.. Donovan was watching an
engine that was engaged in backing the
other day he was heard to remark,
"Faith, that's the most roundabout way
of goin' forrard Oi liver saw. Wash.
ington Star.
Caller-"So you mean to be an NJ. p.
when you grow big, Tommy Politi-
clans Youngest-"Yes; like pa" Caller
-''Then you've made up your mud &
do a great deal Of talkingi' Politicians
Youugster - "Yes; like ma. Funny
Folk.
Yabsley-'I tell you, when l see one
of these hard working, patient school
ma'ams l feel like taking oil my hat L
her in reverence" Mudge-"I tried
that once and her brother kicked m,
clear across the street. "-Indiauapoli.
I Journal.
Miss G. met beggar IN the stree
and was moved TO help him. "Here'
my card 4" she said. "lt you'll call a
my house, TN give you some clothes.
He failed to put in an appearance; but q
day or two later she Glanced TO see hin
again and asked: "Why didn't you
call}n "Indade, mum, but your card do
say 'Thursdaysp "-Brooklyu Life.