Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1893-03-21
FUN FOR CITY YOUTHS
SINGULAR IDEAS OF SPORT THAT IS
LAUGH PROVOKING.


fun Now don't all speak at once. Per-
haps you don't know as much about fun as
you think you do. 1t may be that you have
been so restricted by your environments
that you have never seen or had the real
crude article, and perhaps it will be new
suggestion to you when tell you that fan
is one of those many good things which de
preciates and is APT to lose its germ by be
ing superrefined
There is no end Of fun in this world. The
city OF New York is fairly etrervescent with
it. 1t turks unseen IN every alleyway, wait
ing TO tickle you between the ribs and send
You off into commissions. The most sedate
and sterile streets abound in latent fun If
you only possess n sufficient sense of humor
to find it out and overcome its inertia
There are flew essentials, however, which
it is absolutely necessary that you should
POSSESS before you can explore the ultimate
recesses where fun seeks seclusion.
You must be 8 years old. You must be
poor You must be ragged. You must live
In the vicinage of Mulberry, Bayard and
Baxter streets. OF course you can have
some fun if you are years old-or O. But
/ should advise you TO be as near s as pos
sible, because at that age your sense of
II bIbdAls NilttlltAEth anu DAllc. lOu
must be poor in order that you may appre-
cate fun i'm its crude state; ragged, because
that gives you immunity from injurng
your elothes-an abandon, so TO speak. You
must live in Poverty Flat" because there
you viii have the greatest scope and the
most fertile field in which TO display your
ingenuity. Being thus armed and equipped,
by both nature and fortune, you will go
forth in quest of fun.
What is fun? The answer may be summed
up in the one word, "Aggravation." Per
haps you won't find the word given as IA
synonym in the dictionary, but that is sim
ply because Noah Webster didn't have his
fun in that way. There is, to be sure, a
time honored but most delusive aphorism
to the effect that ito be good is to be hap
py." You and 1 will readily discard such
sophistry. We would remark that ito be
aggravating is to be happy" For example:
The barber, NJ Raven, has a nice, clean
window pane. He washes it every morn
ing in order that the passersby may look in
and see how coy and inviting his estab-
lishment is and how his customers stretch
ont at their ease in his big, comfortable
chair. This is splendid opportunity for
fun You go along and breathe on his win
dow pane. BY pressing your face against
the pane till your nose is quite fat and
breathing quick and hard you can manage
TO steam over quite a large surface in a
short time.
Then, when the barber shakes his fist at
you and makes pretence of leaving his
customer, half lathered, to run after you,
you can indulge in a species of 5-finger ex-
ercises, which is very irritating-that is,
you elevate your hand to the level of your
nose, extend your thumb until it touches
the tip Of that organ and wiggie waggle
your fingers. This has been called con
densed irony" and will surely cause the
barber great annoyance, while at the same
time, at your susceptible age, rendering
you lots of pure, unadulterated fun. If you
wish to further indulge your sense of hui
NOR at the expense Of the barber, you can
write your name with a flourish on the
pane where you have steamed it.
You are ragged. and the natural imprints
which your feet leave in the newly fallen
snow show that you are barefooted. Very
good. Can't a boy laugh with his boots
off, / would like to know Did ever a man
absorb any humorous propensities from
his shoes aud stockings? You and / have
heard of those people who can't tell a joke
from a side Of sole leather, and they are
the misanthropes who look upon a bare
footed childhood as one lacking in fun and
devoid of happiness.
Another source of fun is this. You get an
old tin pail, fill it with lime and pour in
sufficient water to set fire to the lime.
Then you fasten piece of wire to your
pail and whirl it around your head furi-
ously. This viii not only brighten horses
TO the verge of madness, but is legitimate
source of fun per Sc.
Again. you procure an old stocking-any
color will do-the length is the important
/ factor. The foot of this you fill with flour
and, by the way, as the victim of this little
/ joke rarely, if ever, gets the right perspec
/ tive in looking at it from his standpoint
| you would better have a partner in your
enterprise, or better still, four or five. But
hal ha ! see you catch my idea at once
| Yes, herein lies your opportunity to gel
/ even with the boy who wears better clothes
! than you do You flour bag him, so t.
/ speak Your exquisite sense of humor vii
attract you toward some boy whose clothe'
are dark-black preferred. This is, more
over, an instructive maneuver. You ar
exemplifying for the time being, in the &C
Of swinging your loaded stocking, the op
erations of the centripetal and centrifugal
forces, and you unconsciously absorb Ger
tain amount Of practical knowledge there
by, much as the nursery babes do VIII
construct houses out of blocks labels
RATS" ETC., respectively.
Another rare bit of legitimate and highl
commendable sport is this: You can wall
along very softly behind some nervous oil
gentleman, till you see at distance aheai
Of you one Of your Daniel boon compan
ions. Then you rush forward like ma
MAC and at the same instant let out vel
that will freeze the blood in his veins-t
say nothing OF his arteries and heart. 70
are merely calling to your playmate, an
how can any man in his right mind tax
ofense at you for thatl
Above all things, be cautious. Avoi
getting into trouble. Alasi you are con
PEELED to bear in mind that not every PEI
son who has advanced somewhat beyon
your happy time of life was ever endowe
with, OF, if so, still retains, your keen, III