The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-03-10
EATING DINNER MECHANICALLY
The Waiter Does Everything But swallow
the Food and Drink.

The Waiter Does Everything But swallow
the Food and Drink.
On recent evening big man with 8
| heavy walk entered well known cafe
on upper Broadway and sank wearily
into chair at table. He was about
fifty years old and had the appearance
of a high liver. His face had the pecu.
liar purplish-red color which is some
times ascribed TO burgundy and some
times to champagne, but is always due
to indulgence of the appetite for good
things His movements indicated tina,
he felt sluggish. and it would have Gre
ated no surprise in the observer to have
been told that he was liable to apo
plexy. He seemed preoccupied, and
glanced istlessly about the room.
| Presently waiter came up to him. He
was about the same age as the man al
the table, but was quick and active
Good morning. Mr. JONES'" he said,
b-iskly. ''We have some nice turtle
soup and some excellent roast grouse u
'.All right, James," said the other,
| absent-mindedly.
''Some potatoes chateau and lettuce
salad?"
Yes"
The waiter went away and returned
presently with some illustrated papers,
which the man took from him without
30 much as looking up The soup was
brought on and ladled out by the wait
| er, who then took the napkin and
| spread it carefully over the mans lap
! He cria of 81 q.
| though the man had said nothing about
| it, and set it down beside his plate.
The man did not notice it, but began to
eat his soup greedily.
you are forgetting your sherry, sir, I"
said the waiter, respectfully.
Mechanically the diner reached out
and carried the glass to his lips The
waiter watched him as carefully as a
mother does her child, filed the glass
of water when it was empty, replaced
the napkin when it slipped down, and
in other ways saw to it that the diner
was comfortab BILE. The soup was fol-
lowed by the roast, potatoes, and some
celery. The latter had not been or
dered, either. The grouse was carved
by the waiter, who also served the POI
tatoes and picked out the tender pieces
of celery.
do you want your champagne, sir?"
he asked.
What champagne" demanded the
diner. querulously.
You have half bottle left from last
night. SIR
Bring it on then"
The waiter returned with a half
empty bottle. A rubber cork tightly
pressed into the mouth had preserved
the sparkle Through the remainder
of the meal the waiter never relaxed
his watchfulness, although he had to
wait on two other tables. When the
diner had finished his coffee he started
to rise. The waiter, who happened to
be at another table, rushed to his side.
'.Wait a moment Mr. JONES'" he said;
you must take your pepsin.'
Then why the deuce don't you bring
it?'
Right away, sir"
In moment he had rushed out of
the room and returned speedily with
bottle and spoon. He mixed up dose
in glass and handed it to the man,
who drank it with a wry face. Then
the waiter brought finger bowl and
cigar, OF which he cut off the end. He
waited until the man had slowly put it
between his lips and then he struck
match and applied the light. The man
pulled so slowly that the match had
burned down to the walters fingers
and scorched them before the cigar was
thoroughly lighted. The waiter now
helped the man on with his overcoat,
adjusted his silk muller, buttoned up
the coat and handed him his cane.
Good night, Mr.. JONES'" said the
waiter, as the man toddled away. An
indistinct mumbling was the only re-
ply.
The head waiter explained. THAT
man JONES'" said he, has been coming
here for fifteen years and always has
the same waiter. He's grouty man,
but not bad hearted He's a chronic
dyspeptic, but you see he won't deny
himself much. You noticed he didn't
tip the waiter? That's because he pays
him once a week and generously. He
pays his meal checks the same way.
The waiter knows his ha bits absolute
ly, and, as you saw, does not require
any orders. He knows that he wants
certain things always, and understands
his tastes well enough to be able to
suggest satisfactory menu every time.
| have an idea the old fellow viii re-
member his waiter in his will He
gives him lots of presents, as well he
might, for the waiter does about every
thing except eat and drink for him. -
n V Sun