The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-19
TWIN UNCLES.
The Old Settler PHILOSOPHERS On
an Important Subject.

SWELL. Squire" said the Old Settler,
as he took his accustomed seat at the
tavern, whats the news?"
The latest" replied the Squire, SIS
that Sab1n Bifles' wife has ben doin
Of it ag'iu."
"Doin' of it?" said the Old Settler.
''Doin' o what?"
Twins replied the Squire, and his
tone implied that he looked upon such
proceeding on the part of Mrs. Biff1es
as something most reprehensible.
Pooh. exclaimed the Old Settler.
''Thar hain't much news in thar
That's sol" said the Squire. That's
the third time durin' six or seven years.
AN yit Sabiu BifileS comes up smiliu'
an clipper. an bate he thinks the
queen o England can't hold a candle
20 one side o his wife Sooby. Now if I
was him, if I wouldn't be slittcrin'
around fer a deevorce it'd be queer!
That's what i would 9
"Fiddlesticks." said the Old Settler.
What's twins, IN p'tic'la-, anyhow?
Leastways for q SRively. Sooky BIZ
fes were 4 SQively, an, looltiu' back
fer forty year an better, l can't rec
pnemoer when tha want twins in the
Snivcly family. That's list the reason
didn't marry into the Snivelvs. Mag
Snively, OF jeff Snively's gal, were the
incest an snappinest Snively O. the hull
passel, an she were dead sot on hav-
ing me. But that idee that seemed to
ha'ut the Snively family that the more
relations the Snivelys had il a short
time the betterd be for the kentry,
kind o made re shy of, and Mag mar
ried 'Ria= Flott. / recomember that
Rrter 'Riar'd been married ten year.
an tina was four yOke-o' twins in his
family already, he kim in one day look
in the most onmercihest worritted an
despairiu' mortal man that anybody
ever see. Folks said TO wunst that
they guessed tina was FIVE yoke up 20
the FIott c.earin' now.
"'Weu. 'Riar.' says 10 him, consol-
Unlike, twins ag'in, hay?'
No" SAYS 'Ri2r, bright'nin up con-
sid'b BILE. No. he says, not ez bad ez
that, quite. Ny barn burnt down las
night he says, long with them spot
ted steers o mine, he says
Twins where tha's a Snively mixed
up with EN-, Squire. hain't nuthin'
amazin' Twins IS ez ketchin' e. meas
les or the hookin'cough when it comes
10 Snlrely. But what's twins in
giner'l, anyhow? Nu,hin', 'cept that
they'm two babies Std O one. An
that's the ugly thing, b'gosh. tha:
49, -, .,,-,e TV-,.-s S. u. =,
last uns. Squire? Schoolma' rms or
bark peelers?'
''Schoolma'rms replied the Squire.
both on emf
'Yes. both on EN-"
That's diskerri6ginr The market
IS crowded with schooima' rms. Tha's
more schoolma'rms in The deest-ic'
now than tina IS young idees 70 be
teeched how TO shoot An here's the
woods Just howlin' fer bark peeIers,
an Will be fer many year to come.
Schoolna'rns Is doing Wei if they git
fifteen dollars month an board
around, and bark peelers kin git TWEEN
ty.five or thirty list fer the astIE'.
Sooky Bifies has made mistake.
b'goshi Specially Icc Snively- But
that hain't nuthe- here nor there.
They're twins Gal tsyinS. an conSe-
lsentIy sisters. Tia haIn't nuthin
unusual IL two gals bein' sisters. Twin
sisters hain-t uGthin, no more = twin
brothers Is. Bue pose they'd ben
Twin uncleS like compile O ancestors
o. mine was wunst? That noct ben
sunp;a' - talk abort >elss1re.
..Ies said the Squire. suit5uz coz