The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-02
A DUTCH COURTsHIP.
Peculiar Betrothal Arrangements In
Holland.

When a Dutchman falls in love he
straightway goes 10 the parents of his
adored one. Then, il he be considered
eligible, he is asked to take tea with the
family. On such occasions he has the
delightful satisfaction of sitting next TO
his charmer. Then informal dinners
and home parties are arranged on his ac-
count In this way the young folks get
acquainted with each other. AS soon as
the wooer feels sure that his love is reci-
procated he asks the father or the
guardian TO make a betrothal bargain
with him. He knows that his suit is
sanctioned by the older members of the
family. That he has been permitted TO
call at the house aud has been enter
tanned there is sufficient evidence that
he is acceptable. When they are
actually engaged they may seem fond
Of each other in the presence of Others.
Ia fact, they will have no private occa-
sions for demonstrations of alteration.
Whenever and wherever the young wo.
man goes with her affianced she is sc-
com panied bv an elderly relative or a
companion OF her own sex of middle age.
The betrothal arrangements include the
settlement Of money affairs and an under
standing of their financial, business and
social prospects. Then cards are printed,
both names being given and also the day
for the reception, which as rule takes
place at the fiance's house in the after
noon, from 2 to 5, the usual calling hour
in Holland. Those cards are sent not
only to friends, but to the slightest ac-
quaintances on both sides, who are all
20 la1 oil
by sending letters of congratulation, or,
if living in the same town as the fance,
by presenting themselves on the day of
the reception. At this reception the
lovers are decked in their best clothes,
and for hours they stand beneath floral
canopy bowing and shaking hands and
listening TO congratulations. OF course.
the parties most interested feel
nervous, for nothing is more talked
about in Holland than a new en-
gagement. The relatives of the pair ara
especially pointed in and lavish with
their criticism. Within fortnight after
reception day all congratulatory calls
must be returned. In cities the lovers,
chaperoned, of course, drive together ia
coupe TO the homes of all their friends
and intimate acquaintances, while with
those whom they know slightly they
only leave their cards. In small places
and in the country they repay the recep-
tion calls walking arm in arm, as is the
Dutch fashion If the prospective groom
lives in an adjoining town the receiving
and calling ceremonies are repeated
there. In such case the young woman
is the guest Of her future parents
in L. Nf
tion allow the young man to remain at
home all the time during the visit of his
tiance, but in former times the accepted
custom was for him to go for the night
either to the house of some friend or to
hotel. In all public places, as con-
certs and theatres, the young couple
have chaperon, either an eld-
erly relative or some friend,
whom they also have to take along
when paying calls on relatives living in
other places. for it is the rule that the
young girl and young man must be made
acquainted with all the uncles and aunts
on both sides. A very pretty custom
among the Dutch is the exchanging of
engagement rings, which are narrow
bands of plain gold, with the initials of
the betrOthed and the day of the be-
trothal engraved on the inside, worn on
the left hand during the engagement and
on the right after marriage. Dutch en-.
gagements extend over period of from
two to five years. During this time the
young woman gives up all amusements
in which her fance does not participate.
If he is not of the dancing sort she re-
trains from the amusement, however
much she may desire to engage in the
figure. She never goes in company any
where if he is not present, and when
they go together to ball no gentleman
will ever ask her for dance without
formally gaining his permission. The
prospective groom is likewise bound
to respect the inclinations of his tiance,
and to absent himself from places that
he formerly frequented, such as the club
and bachelor dinners.