The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1893-08-11


establishment asked permission yester-
day to stay away from the Office today
to attend the funeral of his aunt. The
broker kindly granted the request. and
great was his surprise this morning
when going down to the dock to see fore
most In the throng of those anxious to get
down on the steamer 10 see the race Tor
the Goelet cup the mourning Office boy.
II is safe to say there was one spectator
today who didn't enjoy the race.
The Looking Glass recently Motel the
exislencs and circulation of counterfeit
five dollar bills in New York. and eau
toned storeksspers 10 keep sharp look
out for their appearance In this city.
Yesterday there was An attempt made TO
enter counterfeit five In Olnevvllle. but
It failed. A young man about 5 IL. 10 In,
dressed In good suit of black, aud with
dark moustache, called at the liquor
saloon OF Thomas Killelca, 81 Joslin
street. and tried TO pass counterfe.t S5
bill. He called for glass OF beer and
rendered the bill in payment, at the same
time telling the bartender 10 keep
half q dollar for himself and
to hurry with the change as he
aroused the bartender aud he returned
the bill saying he had no change. He
then put an officer on his track but the
would bs shower OF the queer had got too
far away. No doubt he will try the same
game at some other place, and poss bly,
there is "A gang working the city with
these spurious fives They bear a vignette
Of General Grant. and are readily detect
ed by close examination. The wise
course to pursue is to examine all five
dollar bills carefully. and with those
bearing the Grant vignette take particular
pains.
The most transcendant piece OF fol ly
man or woman can bs guilty OF these hot
days, we are told. is TO get excited. IL
be let's nervousness aud invites sunstroke.
or course. Don't get excited. II
you have just lost 100000 IN
unlucky speculation. keep calm. IL you
have a raging, bowling toothacne or are
rfil cted with other grevious bodily all
ments, keep calm. Ii you are heavy
holder Of railroad stock and you get word
that you are Liable to be frozen out.
keep calm. BY so doing you can keep
your temperature down at least one degree
and what are stocks. toothaches or specu
lation compared with temperature.
I I
A little Public street boy went 10 the
drug store the other day and wanted to
buy some fly paper to make kits with.
! ! I
The average American citizen is man
Of peculiar ways prone TO impulses, on
which he acts without due regard to the
possible consequences. 1t was at a small
81 nburbau place near this city that l
noticed his impulsiyeless fully de-
veloped recently. 1t WAS early In
the morning, and the daily exodus
OF business men had not commenced. /
stood on the platform OF the depot ad-
miring the beautiful scene stretched be-
fore me. Dire,tly in front of me and
extending nearly as far as the eye could
lie ,ch was the principal street OF the
little village lined with big trees wh csc
dense foliage shadowed charming resi-
dences. The scene was peace
full and as I gazed feeling of
rest and contentment possessed me.
Suddenly, afar down the s rect, / noticed
man glidiug along at full speed. AS it
time Of the arrival Of the train /
but when / saw the gates along {,
highway burst open as tie man
ran by, each gate affording egress to an
other man, who fell In behind the first
man, seeking to rival his speed, my wtn-
derment Increased. Faster and faster
ran No. 1, and those in his rear tore
along in frantic haste. Is 1t n criminal
fleeing from his just deserts? The thought
pa sed into my mind. but disappeared
an instant later when the first man struck
the depot platform and pulling out n
pipe started to enjoy quiet smoke.
Tnen one by one his pursuers franticilly
climbed upon the platform aud rushing
to the track iazed anxiously
towards the placs from which
the train would come, but not
seeing any signs of the approaching iron
monster, they all fell to gazing at the
man who had started the migration. 1t
seems that man No. being a stranger in
the village mistook the toot of an engine
IN freight car for the whistle OF the pas
seager train and had started on his
hard race for toe depot. Brown saw h i'm
no by. aud, thinking him a neighbor,
Immediately jlmped to the conclusion
that his clock was sloS, aad no piled out
after him. Smith, Jones. Robinson,
White and the ether commuters, seeing
their neighbors tearing down the street,
hastily swallowed their coff @. and for
q It'll = to bid their families good
by, flew out OF the house and put on ex-
ira bursts OF steam TO catch the head OF
the line. An indignation meeting was
held on the station Platform, and it was
found that personal violence would be
cone o the stranger, but, before auy def
mite action could he taken, the train drew
up to the station aud all climbed on
board.
A hefuddled individual stopped at Broad
and Chestnut STREETS long emo ugu last
night to explain: "Pm jesh keep'n mon in
shirkelash'n. thash all. Pm p'trot. am
b'leeve in keep'n mon in shirkelash'n.
Whash country R'oin do ef shirkelash'n
s-s-stopsh-whash g'oin do 1 shays.
Why, g'oin to devil an no doctor shtop
it--shee Keep up shirkelash'n, fellersh,
an we'll be all right Shay. shirkelate