Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1893-03-11
BROWN As A puNcrvAroa.
THAT Game pf TRYING . New Rapid
Method of Learning the Rules


"Drown, my boy, there's nothing like It.
It's better than French In six weeks be
cause you can work 1t into yourself In
month, so that you can hardly say or think
anything without following the rule. Take
this beautiful selection, which recalls our
schoolboy days: The boy stood on the
burning deck, comma, whence all but he
had fed. semicolon; the flames that lit the
the battles wreck, comma, shone around
him DER the dead. pcriod.' That's grand;
that's inspiring. You have all the beauty
and all the sentiment, and besides you
panctnate as you go along, and SO mingle
the artistic and the useful"
Brown was quite taken with this new
plan for learning how TO punctuate prop
erly. He had often felt like n brother to
the fellow who wrote book without any
punctuation whatever. simply adding in
an appendix a complete list Of punctuation
| marks, from which the reader could select
| and punctuate as much or as little As he
1 pleased.
The first lesson went OF swimmingly.
| Brown so fell into the spirit Of IL that as
he walked up the street afterwar,i he
found himself soliloquizing: Il wonder,
comma, II had better get that paregoric,
comma. for the baby, comma, before &c
home, period. Perhaps, comma Then he
slipped up on n piece of banana skin and
went down fat with two exclamation
points and enough stars TO equip severa
issues OF a blanket sheet"
For the first time in his life he felt lik,
using the "dash" and also making dasl
for the miscrcant who threw that murder
GUS peel there. lie lay on the pavement
long enough TO denote several paragraphs
then got up with difficulty and limpe'
down the street. But the magic power o
!. that first lesson was still upon him, am
! meeting a newsboy he began, We'll. com
!. ma. my boy, comma, have you The Star
Interrogation point" The sharp eyed lii
tie rascal stared ut him curiously. aud the
! replied: 'Com-ahi Come of. When di
: yer 'scape from tn 'sylumi"
After punctuating the town general
during the next two hours and getting
crowd of small boys Mt his heels, whom b
: escaped by seeking refuge in an empt
school building place the average DO
; never enters II he can help 1.-THE too
home To his dear family somewhat la
= tered but still large supply Of punctuation
= At3 a. IN. his wife uudged him, "Joh
y John, there are burglars in the house,
!, "What-ahs Burglars, burglars" No
: wide awake, he sprang to the floor e
;. claiming Dearest, comma, will defen
u you, comma, even with my hearts bloc
comma, IL necessary, exclamation point
( He then threw open the chamber door rigl
= In the face OF two masked burglars, WI
u held pistols to his breast and demande
:" "Your money or your lifel''
VI With one whirl OF his strong right ar
r be dashed the pistols aside. two bulie
w perforating the hall window instead of b
N head, as was intended. With two mo
of whirls OF that trusty arm he sent q
70 burglars, as surely and swiftly rs one Sc
De tence follows another in the mou
OF a two-hundred- a-minute speaker. OF
u through the window after the bullet
% remarking; There, comma, now, comm
IA you can hunt Your bullets at your leisui
VI period. Call again, comma, and I'll she
~ you now to punctuate better, comma, b
you can't put period TO my existence iu
- yet. period"
y Then, rushing back to his wife. he G
!. claimed, "Joy Of my life, exclamati
Gu point, light Of my eyes, more exclamati
81 points, come TO my arms, period" TIL
10 fell. weeping upon each others necl
en- Stars and dashes come in here, denosins
~ domestic scene too sacred for the eyes a
NC ears OF the vulgar public.-W ashingt
"h Star