The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12
PAPA WAS TOO SUDDEN.
Ia Sent Out the Birth Cards Before Ascor.
tnining tho Sex OF His First Born.

lie Sent Out the Birth Cards Before Ascer.
taining tho Sex of His First Born.
Out on Drexel boulevard In an impo
singly luxurious home there recently
materialized royalty welcomed gift
of the storls" with no attributes visi
bic to the naked eye worthy the full
some glorification accorded other than
wee puckered red pippin Of face
and prodigiously healthy pair OF
lungs, which she scrupled not Of exer.
cising.
Her fragile mother could imagine no
more exquisite pleasure than to fondle
with ti,nid caresses the stolid mite
which lay swathed beside her, but
adoring, incredulous papa's behavior
was reprehensible, to say the least. He
peregrinated about the palatial man.
sion with his long-skirted hostage to
fortunc-indignant or quiescent us best
suited its humor-and proved impervi.
GUS alike to the gutturally voluble re-
monstrance of portentously solemn
party of the Sairey Camp style Of arch
itecture and the half-audible raillery OF
tittering servitors.
Mother-in- -aw"-thata antique motif
of ostensible dispensers of labeled attic
salt--in this case was q misfit, the sill
very-haired patrioian doing graceful
duty as such being more like an elder
sister to the blissfully happy young
couple, and honored manifestly, but
dreaded not particle.
When Aunt Simpson" after per-
forming the appalling dread rite of
ascertaining the temperature of the
Madonna-faced patient tentively COM
plained-probably for the hundredth
time-she was consoled by the laugh
ing assurance that when "Mr. Bron-
SON S mother" arrived that same even
ing affairs would assume a different
compleXion-and with grunt of SUI
prcme satisfaction she bided her time
of reckoning.
"Mother dear! The baby's come,
and he's a hummer. There! Did you
ever hear such hubbub? He'll give
the fellows on change lively tune
some day, I'll be bound" as the proud
father gleefully conducted his deter
mined-faced maternal ancestor to the
''holy of holies."
"Aunt Simpson" after cursory
survey, waXed suddenly and unaccount-
ably servile, as the penetrating gray
eyes met hers, and pleasant, low
voiced-eXacting and dominant, how
ever-greeted her, for the despot's sway
was ended.
''Frederick, you are not to handle
baby so recklessly. See, you render
Ada nervously excited when you carry
it from her''-and Frederick Bronson,
a tower of obstinate energy, paused
with his uplifted first-born and amazed.
ly confronted the arbiter.
"Why! nonsense, mother. He likes
me to trot with him, or did," he hastily
interpolated, as the filmy-robed in
FAINT challenged that broad assertion
by series of angry, protesting bowls.
"My baby" he resumed firmly, but
ruefully, surveying the small element
of discord, sis to undergo a system OF
training distinctively of my own in
vention that will render him an honor
to us all, and it's none too early tc
begin to initiate him now. He's
spunky. by Godfrey, to start WITH
for the wriggling midget in a convul-
sive rebound had deftly administered
left-handed stinger to the mentor.
"Fredericll Bronson, Jr. Sounds
grand. Eth, mother? Eyes like Ada
and the rogue knows me already. Nc
sight, eh? Fudge! He knows all that's S
going on. I'll give him walk down
the hall for constitutional and then
resign him to 'hims muzzer wuzzer, as
heard Ada call herself this after.
| noon."
The autocrat S mother smiled blandly
and gracefully accepted the capitula'
tion.
"Arrant foolishness! Angry, for
sooth. And why, pray? Isn't a cherut
of girl-baby as much to be desired as
a boy? My son is surely not to follow
the example of the horrid Chinese if
know it. Here he is with his promis
ing aspirant for board of trade honors
Now, to enlighten him.
sits all right, of course, darling, bu
why didn't you let them tell me ? No
pleased unless it was a boy? Well
now, you are delirious, dearest"-as h,
tenderly embraced the fair youn,
mother and gurglingly content angelo
visitant.
"Blest if it isn't the worst scrap
yet. I've stood slumps in wheat ant
twist tobacco squeezes in cornere'
stocks, but how to liquidate when thos
confounded boys find out that tine sew
en- hundred odd birth cards I've write
are fakes is what settles me. Whew
But the annotations on some of ther
make me shiver. and / thought ther
sublime when ] wrote them. Won't
be guycd, though Oh !never. Can
play off printers error, either, be
cause old pig head could write ever
one"
And with cry Of Ibsenic despair
hearkened to the urgent summons {
wailing Miss Fredericka, who havin
whiled away the time allotted for r,
freshment wished for saunter. r.--Ch
cago Times.
WHERE DRESSES DO NOT FIT.
Weak Points of the Average Houses an
EtOn Jackets.
The point where the average bodic
is not what it should be is just belo
the collar at the back of the necl
| FIha,.n ~ ln,, L. a.