davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
BRIGHT BITS.

ETHEL (radiantly}-You know that dear Mr..
Busseyi He promised to join the Y. NJ. c. A. if
| would let him kiss me.
Msude (envioUslyJ-Well?
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Just taken fve-year
member5hip,--Pltc
ABSTRACT AND -Jaspar-Bighead
is a strange man for philosopher.
Jumpuppe-Indee
Jaspar-Yes. He said that all men are merely
animals, and yet got angry when / called him
an ass Buffalo Express.
81 CAN'T SEE why you charge so much for ice.
The crop has largely exceeded the demand this
year" complained the consumer
True; and that has made the selection of
good ice so much the harder. We aren't ex
Perts for nothing said the dealer.-Harper's
Bazaar.
FIRST DRAMATIC REPoRTER-Say, did you hear
that sensation about Nine. Primadonna's dia-
monds?
Second Reporter-whatl Are they stolen
again?
FIRST Reporter-No; they're reaL-Frank
Leslie's Weekly.
SUFFERING CUsToMER-Have you anything
that will cure neuralgia?
Druggist-No, sir.
Customer with fervor)-Give me your hand
It's some compensation for seventeen years of
misery that I've found one honest man at last
Chicago Tribune.
Mns. swELr-Our house is fitted up with all
the improvements and we have picture mold
ing Ia the parlor
Mrs, Homespuu-Sakes alive! But your
house must be awful damp. To think Of a
picture moldinR 1t must be the paste, l
spose Boston Herald
"CAN You spare e trlae for q poor blind man?'
first rate
90, certainly, siRnor; l am only begging in
pace OF my blind friend, Trincatore, who has
no time for 1t himself, his daughter is getting
married to-day. III Popoto Romano.
TRAMP-Reg your pardon, sir, but -
Anable Party-O, that's all right, certainly;
don't give me another thought. When you
stopped me | didn't know but you wanted q
quarter or something OF that sort, and you only
wanted To beg my pardon? Granted freely! God
bless you, my man.-Boston Transcript
THE LIVELY PAssENGER-Yes, there's nothing
like pugllism for developing muscle and endur,
ance BY the way, are you interested in such
matters
The Solemn Passenger am a professional
boxer. Here's my card
The Lively Passenger (reading card}-M
Balmer, undertaken.
AT COUNTRY INN.-Traveler-Hsre.l landlord
what the matter with your d0gf have driven
him away score of times, but he always comes
back again and sits close up to my chair watch
ing every mouthful eat. Do turn him out and
let me have my dinner in peace.
LandlOrd-Plaa sr sir, my karO is such know
ing brute; expect you have got the plate he
generally eats out of.-Ludecker KGtender.
HAFoLD came into the study one day. The
father used to cater to his mechanical appetite
at all times. That morning Harry's eyes were
bright.
20, father. did you see about that yankee
down east that made an engine entirely of
paper?"
MIR jackson smiled mo. my boy; tell me
about it; was it a donkey enEine?"
mo; stationary. "-BOston BUDGET
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
Willing to Play.

When the subject of Doctors fees is men
toned, says the Chicago NetUs Record, a we'll
known physician likes to tell the story of a
young man who was very i'll and very Door. to
whom he gave unremitting care aud finally
nursed him back to health.
Before he had recovered his strength he
dragged himself feebly TO the Doctors Office
aud endeavored to express his gratitude, which
was greater than his GRIEF that he had nothing
but thanks with which to repay the debt.
Unless" said the young man, hestatingly
you would be willing to accept payment in my
way
What is your way" inquired the doctor,
W tn some amusement.
Il am musician by profession" replied the
young man 81 teach the flute, and should
Ike to give YOU some lessons upon it,"
an exclaimed tine doctor, thoughtfully
so you are a flute payer? I'll tell you he
said, whinsically, II ain too busy q man TO
take lessons on a flute. but suppose you make
yourse comfortable here in the office while I
20 my rounds and blow out the amount you
think you owe me. "
The young mau, who appeared to have been
of a erary turn of mind, actually took his be-
loved flute from its bag and was about to begin
the payment when he caught the doctors ex-
preston and saw that the suggestion was made
in joke.
He seemed so oppressed with gratitude and
anxious 10 do something" says the doctor in
telling the story, chat | let him play at an en-.
tertainment for soma poor children not long
after, ana IL flute playing had any value he Ger.
tainly blew out the entire amount OF his in
debtedness on that occasion, and seemed to be
greatly relieved"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
Gordon and Postal Cards

1t appears that some Of the Office seekers
who have been seeking the assistance of
Senator Gordon are disposed TO criticise
him for using postal cards in bis CORE
spondence with them. The inference is that
they don't want to have it known that they
are applicants for Office.
But why should any one object to having
It known that he wants place under the
government 1t is not discreditable TO ap-
ply for an Office. The government service
is an honorable one, and only men and
women of good ability and respectable at
tainments are appointed TO places in it.
There cannot be any reasonable objection,
therefore, to making the public acquainted
with the names of those who seek those
places.
Many Of those who write to Senator Cor
don think probably that he receives very
few communications from office-saekers.
AS a matter of fact he receives hundreds,
perhaps thousands, and each applicant ex-
poets TO be kept informed as to the varying
chances for his success. 1t is doubtful il
any OF them ever thinks to inclose postage
stamp for an answer TO his inquiries.
All of them expect Senator Gordon
to devote his time to their affairs
and to furnish stamps and stationery in his
correspondence with them at his own ex-
pense. And it may be that many Of them
never did either the President or the senator
or the Democratic party any particular
service. Iu fact, 1t is often the case that
the least deserving are the most persistent
Of the offlce-seekers. IL is pretty safe to say
that those who oriticise the senator for re-
plying on postal cards to the inquiries have
never expended 80 much as postage stamp
to advance his interests.
Senator Gordon is a man of excellent
judgment in matters that require good taste
and discretion. II is pretty certain, there
FORE that he has never committed TO a
postal card any information that would do
any one any harm if it should be read by
those who haveno right to make themselves
acquainted with it,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
Mistaken for a suIcide.

The most singular thing that ever happened
to me, D." said the travelling member of the club
to Detroit Free Press reporter, was this:
was stopping over night at large hotel in
Chicago, and retiring late I left word to be
called in the morning. intended getting up in
time for a late breakfast.
Il was awakened by knocking at the door
or the room next to mine, mysterious whis-
perlngs, and orders given in suppressed voice.
lay still, wondering what time il was and
whether should get up or not when there
came loud racket against my door and
sonnd OF the trausOm moving. l sat up-my
bed being close by the door--In time to see a
small boy backing in over the door Hansing
full length, he held by his hands aud then
dropped to the floor. AS he gained his feet he
turned toward the bed, and, seeing me sitting
up and looking at him, he gave a yell that made
my blood thrill.
"'Open the door, commanded a mans voice
on the outside.
He's alive. yelled the boy, sprawling on
the floor in abjeCt terror.
Il thought everybody was crazy, as I heard
the noise outside and, unlocking my door, |
asked what was the matter. The hall was full
OF chambernaids, bell boys and porters, all of
whom took TO their heels as soon as they saw
me, and ran as II possessed with demons
The landlord and one of the clerks came I'D
10 explain matters, which tGeY did quite smil-
lngly 1t was slight mistake, that was all;
they nad mistaken my room for the one next
door, where man had killed himself the previ-
Gus night. They had looked in at his transom
and seen that he was dead, but when the boy
came up with a stepladder to climb in and un-
lock the door they had helped him into my
room by mistake. That was all. 1t was time
was up, II O'Clock by the meridian, and was a
little shaky as | hurried into nv clothes and got
past the door Of that other room, where nv
grewsome neighbor had dispatched himself
while was soundly sleeping "
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
Mr. Cleveland and Sis secretaries.

Mr. Cleveland and Sis Secretaries.
The story has appeared in several Of the
republican papers that there is a GOODNESS
between the President and Secretaries
Gresham and Carlisle The cause of this
cooluess is alleged to be the refusal OF the
President to permit his secretaries TO exer-
else the authority which properly belongs
TO their respective offices. He treats them
as clerks, it is said, and is 50 overbearing
( sometimes Ia his manner toward them as
to he extremely dissgreeable.
/ The republicans papers would be glad II
/ the relations between the President and his
/ cabinet officers were such as they describe.
| They would not hesitate n assist in bring
ing about relations of that sort. They have
nothing, however, upon which TO base
! their stories.
During Mr.. Cleveland's first administers
ton a similar story was started, but, as it
received no encouragement from any source
it was soon forgotten. 1t was revived dur
ing the national campaign last fall, and
now it Is at the front again. 1t is rather
curious, however, that it appears only in
republican papers, and in none Of them ex-
cept the most partisan and least reliable.
That Of itself is sufficient to show it has no
real foundation.
Neither Mr.. Gresham nor Mr.. Carlisle
would remain in the cabinet day If the
Presidents treatment of them was not what
It should be. They are sensitive men, and
not only know what is due them in their
official capacity, but insist upon their
rights under all circumstances.
There is no danger that the President
will treat them as mere clerks. In the first
place he would not desire to do so, and In
the next place if ne should do so they would
understand that their services were not
wanted and would resign their portfolios.
No doubt a good many people believe the
silly republican stories of strained relations
between the President and his cabinet ad-
visers t1csuse they are anxious TO believe
anythila that is damaging or disoreditable
TO the Uauocratio party, but they will not
nave .Hs satisfaction Of hearing these sto-
ries verified
If Secretaries Gresham and Carlisle should
fail to get along harmoniously with the
President, the first the public would know
Of the matter would be the announcement
VI thSlL ioslB Iatious' lucy WOULDN'T go
about among their friends complaining that
the President was discourteous in his treat
ment of them.
Some of the appointments Mr.. Cleveland
hes made may not be satisfactory TO all the
members Of the cabinet, but, as the power
of making appointments is not lodged in
them, they will hardly complain if they are
not permitted to parcel out the Offices in
their respective departments among their
friends The fact that they have the
sympathy of the republican papers in sup
posed condition of affairs must amuse them
greatly.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
swath Cutters in Cav Paris


I hadn't seen Blummins for nine months
until l met him last week in Twenty-third
street, says a New York Herald writer A
more changed man it would be nard to find
than is this same Blummins. Let me tell you
the circumstances under which we en- countered
each other last June.
The young man had fallen heir to $500 900.
said he to himself 81 will take half that
amount and blow it in IN a year In Europe IN
snow those feUdal barons IN Paris how an
american can Haunt his wealth when he once
starts in 20 tiauUt it for keeps"
Like many backwoods Americans Blummins
mad the republican campaign theory OF Europe
that every one who lives there must be a pau
per. Up in Reading, Pa. where his folks
come from, 1t is generally believed that $40
title.
I'm show them what's what" declared the
merclless Blummins-lasu June that was. I'm
MAKE en- turn green with envy. Think OF the
ned We got! Why, in Paris there aren't 100
people who have more than 5000 O year
Europeans, understand, very rarely taste meat
ana folks there live largely on soup. What
sensation it'll create when l 20 to Paris and
begin living at the rate Of so 900 week! All
the papers will put things IN about me and
every one will hang around watching for the
reckless American to whom wealth is no OBJ
ject."
That was the ambitious programme of the
haplesS Mr.. Blummins.
When met him in Twenty street he
mad an entirely different tale to tell
Great Cesar said he. What lot OF liars
there are in the world Why, Paris is Just TEEN
ing with millionaires. They laughed at my
$4,000 and asked me how many days thought
l would stay there on that.
The town full OF Russian princes, Ameri-
cans and millionaiTes from everywhere. There
are men there who shed gold pieces as they go
along the bouevardS l met chaps who were
spending 5000 day and then saying they were
forced 10 deprive themselves of luxuries.
That Paris crowd is much too rich for the
blood OF citizen Of Reading, Pa. l was never
in 1t from the start. For every penny | spent
there would be men who'd spend $50. My idea
OF 1t was that should create envy ard jeal-
ousy with my gold. What did create was pity
Tor the smalness of my pile.
Il met lot OF Americans with incomes of
$4,000 year who thought they'd settle in
Farls and become great mOguls at once by rea-
son of their wealth, but their status In the great
cosmopolis was that Of very small POTATOES of
an inferior brand.
Just because the Europeans who arrive at
Ellis Island are poor, Americans mustn't imagine
that the continent isn't wealthy. Every sum
mer lot Of young bucks Ia new store clothes
and $1,000 in cash go to Paris and expect to take
the whole blamed place by storm just on Their
shape and by their lavish expenditure. They're
never heard OF again and when they return
doubtless they are much wiser.
Don't fool yourself with the notion that you
can cut swaths in Paris on the cheap. I've
tried 1t and know. If you think you're going
10 trot IN the two minute class there without
having good many millions you will be very
oadly left. I've tried it and know. I'm going
BACK to Reading tomorrow"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
Ballade OF an Old Maid.
From the Bostcn Globe.

She heard one saying: 81 wonder why
That pretty old maid was never we'd"
And she turned aside with deWy eve
And sat with her hand to her Bonded head.
"If they only knew, " her sad heart said;
And her pleading thought searched the universe
through
Again for form that long ago fed,
The gallant form of a boy In blue
Again were the soldiers marching BY,
With eager zeal in their measured tread,
The brave flag Frightening land and Say
With glorious light from its rich folds shed,
Again the blast of the bugie led
Her heart where blood was the grasses dew:
And lying low on a hero's bed
The gallant form Of boy in blue.
No wedding chimes from the bells on high,
But ever through all the years Instead
A toll pfolonRing the mingled cry
OF woe and triumph that battle bred,
And her heart on no other love was fed,
But ever through all the years was true
To him who fell where the field was red
The gallant form OF boy in blue
ENVOY.
Prince, who art young, when war times sped.
Was many fatal shot that flew;
And many a maiden mourned her dead
The gallant form Of a boy in blue.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07

The New York World regards as "a
judgment Of Solomon" the decision of the
United States supreme court IN the case of
the state of Virginia against the state of
Tennessee, involving the Jurisdiction of a
strip of land over which Tennessee has
heretofore held. The decision makes the
line Of demarkstion cut the town of Bristol
in twain; it ''divides the child" Bristol,
by the way. is an important town, and will
one day become a manufacturing center.
Under the existing order of things it is de-
vided into two towns by the state line,
which runs down one of the streets. 1t has
two city governments, two sets Of public
works, two police foroes-in short 1t is
even more of a "twin city" than Winston
Salem, N. c.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07
A Pleasant Predicament.

The city Of Charleston finds itself In the
peculiar position of heir to fortune, with
which it does not know what 20 do. Re-
Gently Mr.. John Thompson, a rich and
benevolent citizen Of Charleston, died and
left TO the city a residuary estate which IL
is estimated will amount TO at least $780,
600, and probably as much more. The
money, it Is understood has been given to
the city absolutely; that is, without oondi-
tion or restriction; the city is at liberty to
use it as it sees fit. Under these circum-
stances it is the right of every citizen to
express his opinion as to what manner of
disposing Of the money would be most bene-
fetal to the city as whole. And the citi-
zens are expressing themselves freely on the
subject A recent issue of the NelUs and
Courier contained a solid column Of sug-
gestions, embracing in their range almost
everything imaginable, from "a geological
garden TO a sinking fund to retire the city's
debt.
1t is gratifying to note, however that the
majority Of suggestions favor the putting
of the money into some institution, or in
situations, for the amelioration of the con-
dition OF the poor of the city. What APP
pears TO be one OF the best suggestions yet
sub uitted provides for an apportionment
of the fund between the free schools, the
city hospital, the orphan house, and like
institutions, besides setting aside a portion
Of it for the benefit Of the museum of the
College of Charleston. 1t is known that
the generous donor intended to leave the
museum a sum Of money. but beyond that it
is not known what his desires were.
However Mr.. Thompsons bequest may,
in the end, be distributed, Charleston will
not neglect to see that his memory is per-
petuated. His splendid gift is, In itself. a
monument, but his name ard decd deserve
to be preserved to posterity in eternal gran
ite. There are few rich men 80 generous as
Mr.. Thompson Was. and none can demon
strate higher regard for the public welfare
or greater confidence in his fellow citizens
than he did.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07

The fruit growers Of Delaware have issued
a warning and protest against the sale of
diseased peaches from trees with the ''yel-
lows" The diseased peaches get yellow and
apparently ripe before the good fruit, and,
consequently, are put in the market first.
The effect is that people who eat them are
made sick. and one consequence is the
reputation Of sound fruit is injured. The
paramount reason why diseased peaches
should be kept out Of the market, however,
is that this is regarded everywhere as most
likely to be a "cholera year." and few
things are greater cholera spreaders than
unwholesome fruit. Georgia peach growers
and handlers should bear this in mind when
they are preparing the crop for market.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07

Rabbi Abram P. Mendes. of Newport,
the father of Rabbis II. Pereira Mendes
and DE Sofa Mendes.of New York city, and
the uncle of Rabbi I. P. Mendgs, Of this
city, died suddenly at the home of one of
his sons IN New York on Wednesday morn.
ing. He was a well-known Hebrew divine.
He was born in the Island of Jamaica 6S
years ago. He was educated in England,
where he married daughter of Rabbi D.
A. De Sofa. After a short ministry In
Jamaica he became rabbi of the Birming-
ham Hebrew congregation, which Office he
held for many years. after which he was
transferred to London. Here ne was made
the head Of large communal institution,
and was also chosen the ecclesiastical chief
Of the Spanish and Portuguese Jews In Lon
don. Ten years ago Rabbi Mendes came to
America aud became rabbi of the Jewish
congregation at Newport. He was the
author Of THE Post Biblical History" and
of the catechism called "Ihe Law of
Moses" He leaves a widow and ten chill
dren.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07

me Mosl,tNa NEWS Is on lie At the following
pieces where Advertising Rates and otheF r.
orruatiou Tsgsr .inc rne paper can % o0IA4heo'
NEW YORK CITY
: l. BATES. 81 FarF @oT.
g. ?. R0vvl.IL < Co.. III Spruce streaG
W ". SHApp s. Co.. - Pork Row
FRAsyK ErEa,JAE s. Co, - broadway.
DAUCHy & Co., y Park Flaca.
J. ". THOuFeCE. So P5E't Row. .
ANEslcas b 1esPAPsD PUB--EaE8's ASSOCIATION
Potter Building.
PHuADELp ETh-
z. ". AVER e SON, T1n1as Building
BOSTON
r. Il. ErLE8, 256 WssEl "a gton street
PB1rsSG1LL G Co., 80 state street.
CHICAGO
Loan & Tsas4s, % Randolph street.
CINCINNATI
ECv1v Aruslf COMPANY, &c West Fourth street
NELSON Gs-saAs 6 Co.. 1877 Pine street,
ATLAErA-
&oBEIEG zws B-UEAC. SE WhtehAu hLreet
ST. AUGU6NlNL--
Is NAFcorrr. ST Augustine Fla
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07

There must have been an extraordinary
number OF useless employees in the depart
ments at Washington during the latter days
of the Harrison administration. As soon
as the new secretaries got fairly to work
they found the ship Of state covered with
barnacles that had been allowed to accumu-
late during four years cruise, and at once
went to work to scrspe them off. Each of
the secretaries has done considerable scrap
ing, and still they have not finished. 1t is
said that in numerous instances young men
were, through favoritism. put upon the de-
partment pay rolls in order to enable them
TO attend the law or medical schools of the
District Of Columbia, and that the actual
services rendered to the government by
them amounted to naught. Under the new
administration nothing Of this kind will be
permitted The government is not an insti-
tuition Of charity. It is a great business
concern, and the employees will be required
TO transact public business.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-07

Vice President Stevenson is bringing pop
ularity to the heretofore prosy position of
president Of the Senate. Usually the Vice
President occupies the public attention only
occasionally, and then merely as the man
who sits on platform and puts questions to
the august Senate. But mir. Stevenson is
in demand for dinners, receptions, exposi-
lions, etc. Only few days ago he opened
fair in the city Of Baltimore, thus really
forestalHng the Presidents forthcoming fair
opening act at Chicago.