Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-11-30
sprInkles Of sploe.


acquired a shoulder stoop from bicy-
Gle riding.
IT is the telescope which lens en-
chantment to the distant view,--
Lowell Courier. Y
AFTER all, why should a young
man be always pursuing his studies.
Plain Dealer,
THE bald-headed man can tell us
all about "parts" unknown, --Glens
Falls Republican.
WHEN 1t comes to jealousy and
Growing, man is about as bad as a
rooster. Dallas News.
No MATTER what may be said of
Senator Stewart, none deny that he
is on his metal Plain Dealer.
TEAoHER--@Deane memory" Dull
Boy-Tt's what we always has till
we come to speak piece. Good
News.
FIRST TwIN-"Well, what do you
think Of this world, anyway" Sec
ond Twln-"Pretty rocky, "-Roches-
ter Democrat.
MOST Of the wrong deeds charged
against man are those he COM
mitted trying to get his rights
Atchison Globe.
THE poet who found books in the
running brooks" certainly had no rea-
son to complain Of dry literature. 49,
Washington Star.
SOME dentists seem to think it
necessary to have a snowy sign in
order to have strong pull with the
public. Newport News,
NEW UNDERESTIMATE Senator
Silverstate a man of his word?" Fifth
Termer-"Well, not quite as bad as
that Detroit Tribune.
"IF ever get rich," said Tommy,
IL mean to go to Italy and eat all
the bananas 1 want, right off the
trees indianapolis Journal.
CARRUTHERs-What did you hold
when you called Brobson, and he
showed down four aces? Waite-I?
Oh!-er-I held my breath!-Puck.
AND now with gas bills coming In
That fill up many pages
We wish within our inmost heart
We'd lived in the dark ages.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"DID you ever go to Bins, the
tailor?" ayes. Got two suits from
him. One dress suit One lawsuit.
Very expensive man, Home Jour
nal.
LITTLE ALIcE-"What is. a boor,
mammal" Cynical Mamma-"A
boor, dear, is man who has never
been taught to lie, Detroit Trib-
une.
ToMMY-Paw, what makes the
stars so bright? Mr.. Figg-Oh,
these astronomers are securing the
heavens all the time. Indianapolis
Journal.
IT will go hard in the next world
with the newspaper space writer If
he has to give account for every idle
word uttered while on earth. Boston
Transcript.
MAMMA--Now, Teddy, we must all
try and give up something while
times are so hard. Teddy-I'm will
ing. Mamma-What will it be, dear9
Teddy-Soap. Inter Ocean.
"BIFFINs appears to have taken a
rather obscure place in the commu-
nifty" "Obscure? Well, should say
so. Why, nobody even brings him
petition to sign. Washington Star.
OLD ToMKINs-I hear, you lucky
dog, you've come into more money
again, according to your wont. Young
Jacksou-Yo, you're wrong. It's &C.
cording to my uncle's will.-Funny
Folks.
LES frances. -She-"And are you
sure you will like married life as we'll
as you do your clubP" He-"Oh,
yes" She-"And are you so awfully
fond of your club?" He-"Not very"
-Life's Calendar.
THE EARNEST YoUTH.-"I thank
you, sir, for your kind permission to
call on your daughter9" Remember
that l turn out the gas at 10 o'clock"
"All right, sir; I'll not come before
that time. life.
CoNsTANCE-"Did he not go home
after you refused him?" Clare-"No.
He stayed right on and said, All
things come to him who waits"
Constance-"Andw what came?" Clare
Father was the first. Puck.
A BRIGHT BoY.--Kind Old Gentle
man-And that is your brother? He
appears to be a very bright little
fellow. Boy (proudlO-You bet he
is! He kin swear like a car-driver.
Curse for tn gent, Mickey. Puck.
FIRST FRENCH STATEsMAN-What
is the secret of the fine health you
have at your advanced age? Second
French Statesman-Sstl 1t is indeed
a secret. / have fought duel every
month for the last twenty years.
Chicago Record.
CLARENCE-"The little kangaroos
must be very unhappy, mamma.
Mamma-"Why do you think 30,
Clarence?" Clarence why, because
they have pockets, but no tops or
jack-kniyes to put in them. "-Har-
per's Young People.
.n,,rw ..o41o 1900 a.