St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-03-12
HOOP SKIRT FACTS.

AASOA 0AAAhA nv - 0s
How much longer are men going to
labor under the false impression that
women want to wear hoop skirts? Let
me emphatically assure the sterner but
less discerning sex that we do not want
to wear hoop skirts, and If man will
just put one on and go shopping in it
he will find ont the reason why. or
course, il Mrs. Cleveland, the queen of
the Cannbal islands, or the empress of
Hong Kong appears III hoop skirts, we
will don them or die in the attempt, but
that will not prove that we wouldn't
b. happier without them. We will
be fashionable il it costs US our
lives; it will be dreadful blow
to have to give up bargain counters and
removal sales, but we would have no
chance there at all. If women must put
on hoops to be fashlOnably appareled
and any OF US neglect to wear them, the
first ones to find fault with our attire
and call us 'dowdy" will be those very
brothers, sweethearts and husbands
who are now bothering their brains
about passing prohibitOry laws. Men
make most of The fashionable dresses,
why don't they have Redfern and
Worth arrested and not mix women up
IN their laws. Ii they make law for
bidding the wearing of hoops, do MT
they know we will only enlarge the
hoops and wear Them on every Occa-
sion?
Our grand mothers have some weird
and horrible tales to tell about hoops.
One poor woman covered three seats at
theater. She found seating herself
easy enough, but when the owners Of
the other two seats arrived. she found
she was immoyable and there she had
to sit until the end of the performance,
despite their protests. She was then
cut out with buzz saw, and ever after
wards tainted at the mere sight of
hoop skirt.
l am not believerin women's rights
nor DR.. Mary Walker costumes, but
isn't it about time that fashion ceased
torturing US? One year we are coD-
PEELED to wear dresses over hoops eight
yards wide, and the next season we APP
we could not accept a seat in a street
car were one offered US. We "prefer
standing" ana are mot tired" on all oc-
casions, and remain upon our feet until
they are ready to drop off. Goodness
only knows how we manage 10
climb.,a pair of stairs. Then, too.
those enormous skirts of the year before
cannot be wasted after making stylish
skirt for ourselves, we have goods
enough left to make Tommy and Harry
shirts, the baby cloak and the SIX little
girls each dress. If the material hap
pens to be green, your family looks like
an animated colony of grasshoppers if
brown, choice collection of beetles. OF
course, your husband fatty refuses to
be economical and help use the residue
by having coat made of it. That is
always the way, all the suffering and
economy is left for the women.
Pa
% Men and women are not the only par
g ties interested in stitfened skirts. Many
= of them are held out with horse hair
cloth. How about the poor equines who
have got to lose their tails ? A protest
ing bray will ascend that will shake the
very SKY and make the stars fall. How
will the poor things look going about
their daily tasks draped in mosqu itO
netting because they haven't wisp of
hair with which to drive off the feasting
flies? 1t may be we'll for the mosquito
netting manufacturers, but think no W
mad the flies will feel.
j Imagine person boarding a street car
intending to catch train and being de-
layed a couple of hours while the side of
the car is removed in order to eXtricate
an unwary beho0ped female. who has
become wedged in between the seats.
Why can't somebody invent such an
uncomfortable device for men as hoops
are for women? Why are we always
made martyrs to fashion, while men
look so comfortable? If we have got to
wear hoops, why not make men wear
the enormous pulled sleeves? An cpl
demic of big sleeves threatens US. If
we take the big sleeve disease real hard
it will be worse than hoops. We will
become permanent fixtures in any mod
ern doorway, through which we may at
tempt to pass, and our wise lawmakers
will be compelled to call an extra SEES
sion Of the legislature.
1t will not be very long before bustles
will come in again. and we will look
like dromedaries. Once more we will
have to load the front of our hats with
trimming in order to maintain our equi-
librium, and l ain sure l don't know
how we will ever manage TO keep evenly |
balanced in the house. unless we wear
extra heavy bangs. Even then it will |
take long and careful practice to enable |
US to keep our feet under all circum-
stances. Now, do men suppose that we
enjoy being in continual dread of tip
ping over backwards? And then the
amount of newspapers 1t takes is really |
ruinouS. When buStles come in, news
paper circulation increases cOnSidera-
bly,.
Did you ever hear the woman who
went down town with an enormous
hustle OH and couldn't imagine why all
the men she met went into spasms of
laughter. until she passed a mirror.
when to her unutterable horror she saw
a little imp of bootblack calmly seated
upon her back drapery? He had dropped
down from neighboring lamppost, and
she had been carrying him for block.
She thought her hustle felt extra heavy,
but supposed the newspaper Of which it
was made must contain speech about
the Mckinley bill, and thus accounted
for the extra weight.
81 Men talk about hoops in the same