The Portland daily press., 1893-10-31
LOVE MEASURING.

SoihCo lLOi1l yOueI, SOOu HtdEU anu lOU GA-
travagantly i'll shaped features-a kind of
staple diet girl, unlikely to attract con-
noisseur.
sit was his fault. He thought he loved
me, and it's my fault that, having such a
start, 1 did not make him love me'
"The fellow ought to have known his
feelings before he proposed-a gentleman
would"
you've no right to say he's not gen.
tleman, and you shan't. How could he
tell? How can any one know without test
ing? Oh, you men of science are SO siIlyi'
AS she spoke she got up hastily, knock
ing down with her skirts the elaborate
model of an apparatus for transmitting
photographs by electricity. 'sHow could
he know? What's the use Of all your ma
chimes? Do you think they make people
happier? How could he knows Why don't
you-why don't you make a machine, in
vent something to find out whether people
are IN lover That would be worth doing.
That would prevent all this sort of thing.
But it's just like you, go inventing things
that don't make any one wiser or happier
or better and never think of important
matters. don't believe you ever were in
love-"
That night John Tonson sat up late, late
even for him, but his unfinished apparatus
tor creating darkness-pot by excluding,
but by actually negativing light-failed to
occupy his thoughts. Time after time he
walked up and down the crowded, untidy
laboratory, asking himself, "Can love be
measured-is an erotometer possible?" vi
sions crossed his mind of machine which
would revolutionize the world, which
would make marriage real union of
hearts and reduce the operation &c the
divorce court to mere physical test.
What is lover" was the question which
the simple savant then set himself to an
swer. For months the laboratory was de-
serted, and he passed his time at the Brit
ish museum consulting novelists and poets,
for he deemed them to be experts in the
matter. What is the use of display of
dictionary learning, of naming the rare
books that he read as well as the common
ones? Why should one copy out lists of ill
and well known authors? Why not pass
them by and say frankly that he read them
diligently, and that the knowledge he
gained was in almost inverse proportion to
his labors? However, one book must be
named, since it influenced him greatly.
Burton's Anatomy Of Melancholy in
its strange, horrible chapters on Love Mel
ancholy," set him on the track of theory
which has little novelty and indisputable
truth. Love is a disease and has bodily as
well as mental symptoms. Adopting this
as working theory, he began to experiment.
To describe his futile experiments would
be foolish. In the one direction where hope
lay-the dissection of those who have com
mitted suicide for love-few as were his
chances, he made an important discovery.
There ia love bacillus One catches love
as one catches the influenza, and one gets
over the attack. too, but in proportion, to
its severity and the Importance of tho
sequelB. Those who catch it badly never
get over the effects-so much the better for
them-sometimes. Of the question of re-
captivity of subject and object, this is hard
ly the place for discussion, but it may be
mentioned that he sent scientific paper
on the subject to The Lancet which, no
doubt, will be published in due course.
Having arrived at this stage, it was not
long before John Tonson had worked out
the question. Nodoubt it is needless to tell
the present learned generation how the
breath acts as a kind of scayenger, but our
dear parents of course were quite ignorant
of physiology, SO a few words of explana-
ton must be given to them. We will ex-
tract passage from novel lately pub
lished called "a Freak Of Fate" of which
we have very flattering opinion:
"The brilliant red blood starts from the
heart laden with life bestowing oxygen.
As it passes in the arteries through the
body, the oxygen is separated from the
blood and detained, while carbonic acid gas
and other matter products of suppositi-
tious combustion) take it's place. At last
the impoverished, darkeped, poisoned blood
flor carbonic acid gas is a poison) enters
the venous system and is carried around to
the lungs. Then the air drawn into the
lungs exchanges part of its oxygen for the
carbonic acid gas and other deleterious
matter connected in the arteries, and the
blood. purified, invigorated and restored to
its brilliant rudy hue, sets off again on it's
vital mission"
From this it can be seen that the air
breathed forth not only carries with it the
carbonic acid gas, but also the bacilli de-
stroyed in the arterial conclusions. Con-
sequently an analysis of the breath will
show the nature of the bacillus, and the
quantity of the dead bacilli will indicate
the intensity of the disease. Tonson, after
long series of experiments, found that a
diaphragm Of fine goldbeater's skin dipped
in rthrophoitesycho-ph anto-diko-talaepo
otto acid is very sensitive to the bacillus
amoris," the contact causing heat From
this to the construction Of a machine was a
mere matter of ingenuity.
One or two difficulties he had to contend
with. When the breath is affected with to-
bacco, it's action on the skin diaphragm is
to great extent neutralized, while onions
and peppermint quite destroy it. On the
other hand it is greatly intensified by wine,
spirits and scent. These difficulties he
Overcame by certain reactives -carbolic
acid for enc class and carbonate IF soda for
the other.
AT last the machine was perfect. Its ac-
ton was very simple. You repeated silently
the phrase, Il love Amanda" or Jane"
as the case might be, 80 times, thinking in
tensely of the person all the time and slap
.,ipg the chest (this was to caLse increased
Heart action Or arterial combustion), then
you put a penny in a slot (merely to re-
move 4 shutter and benefit the inventor
| French pennies would answer) and whis-
pereti 81 !oye Amanda" or Jane" into
funnel. The heat generated in the SIX
diaphragm by the dead bacilli was indi-