Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-10-26
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists OF Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.
Sprinkles of Spice.

Sprinkles of Spice.
IN these days OF bank stringency it
takes an artist to draw money.-At-
lanta Journal.
THE fence-builder is supposed to
ge5 through a Job in post-haste.
Yonkers Gazette.
AN uptown Christian association
announces "chalk talk by a reformed
milkman. "-Squibs.
The fast man is no snail. 1t is not
timidity that induces him to draw in
his horns. Galveston News.
YOUNG man. behold the small fly
in the hot coffee. He took leap in
the dark once. Dallas News.
A LIQUOR dealers stenographer
necessarily puts good deal of spirit
into his letters. Buffalo Courier.
SOME cautious people look at
knotty question from all sides and
then walk off and leave it.-Galves-
ton News.
The woman on the silver dollar
can't be an actress, for she isn't
worth as much as she thinks she is.
-Stageland.
No MATTER how economical he may
be or how large his wages, the coal1
miner often finds himself in the hole.
Buffalo Courier.
THE highest form of sincere fat+
terry at the present time is to ask q
man if he can change $40 bill -
Memphis Appeal.
II is said good whisky can be bought
in Eastern Tennessee at so cents q
gallon, but that's all moonshine. =
Chicago Tribune.
How IS it such numbers of young
men starting out to make name foI
themselves in life hit on Dennis?-
Philadelphia Times.
THE Baltimore police were paid in
silver dollars last week. And yet sill
yer dollars for cOppers is not a good
exchange. Boston Globe.
THE man who was out on a lark
the night before feels like he had
been on a wild goose chase the next
morning. Topeka Journal.
ASPIRING politicians should enlist
the sympathies Of telephone linemen;
they are expert wire-pullers and &C
tive at the poles Lowell Courier.
WHILE it is true that great many
mortals are dissatisfied with their
lot in life, the chimney sweeps
seems to SCOT him entirely. Buffalo
Courier.
SOME laundry could establish itself
firmly in the affections of COM
munity by making it rule to lose a
whole pair of cuffs at time. Wash
ingtOn Star.
WHEN man does try to be good
and takes care of the baby, his wife
complains that he will lie the death
of the child the way he handles it, -
AtchisOn Globe.
IN Tartary when a native wants to
invite man to eat or drink with
him he first takes him by the ear. In
this way it is easy to catch Tartar.
Philadelphia Ledger.
"THE whole world loves a lover"
said he. Eyes, SO / have heard"
said she. "But then, you know, I
to me-" said he. And then she gave
in-Harper'c Bazaar.
THERE is great difference in peo-
pie Last Monday an Iowa farmer
hanged himself because he lost cow,
while we sometimes feel like hanging
ourselves because we own one. Lin
coin (Minn.) Journal.
Mrs. FADDER-"I have Just been
to see Mrs. Shaper. Such an inter-
estng woman. She is devoted to
dress reform" Mrs. Homespun-"She
must be. She is always busy max
ing over old buds. Boston Tran
script.
"WHAT marvellous vitality Slith-
urs has, He's been i'll six months
now. Any other man would have
died" at isn't vitality It's the
times. He is so hard up he cannot
even pay his last debt to nature. =
Harper's Bazaar.
odd you come across any brigands
in Sicily?" PLENTY. But | always
got the best of them. "How SOP"
"Oh, simply enough. Every time
met a SUSPECT US looking character
on the road | went up to him and
asked an aims. Courier du Mid.
ALL the wedding party were as
sembled at the registrars The
bridegroom alone was missing. At
last he put in belated appearance.
He was hale old gentleman Of 49,.
aAnother time" said the registfdf,s
come bit earlier. - Sontagsblattsa
"THE price Of this Rembrandt is
SO 900 and this other Rembrandt is
On Y Sc, 900. What makes such dr.
fel ence in the price," remarked Pete
Amsterdam to the proprietor Of a
Harlem art store. "The 80, 900 one
is much more genuine than the other. +"
Texas Siftings.