The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-09
HIS CLAIM.

/ ftfultd-ErltbtIs hWlullE lIhuh.
| Penelope-And do you love him be-
cause he is Frank
Perdits-No; because he is Ernest. -
Truth.
A FINANCIAL TRANSACTION.
His Son Gust returned from Africa
| bought silver mine down there,
| father, for FIVE thousand dollars.
| His Father-I knew they'd swindle
you. So you were fool enough to buy a
| minel
His Son-Yes; ! formed a company
and sold half the stock to an American
for ten thousand dollars.
His Father breathing heavily)-You
didl I'll bet Pm the one who bought
it!
His Son Crying to appear at home)-I
know you are.-lTruth.
A COMPARISON.
Swell of the Period-Oh! Doctor. !
have sent for you, certainly; but must
confess i have not the slightest faith in
| modern medical science.
Doctor-Oh! that doesn't matter in the
least. You see, a mule has no faith in
the veterinary surgeon, and yet he cures
him all the same lTagliche Rund-
schau.
ROYAL CONTEMPT.
"Come hither," said Queen Liliu-
etc.
What does your ma ajesty desire Z"
Have you any of those mean edi
torials printed by the United States news
papers about met"
| Yes"
Bring them hither; ! am told that
they will make my hair curl"
80 am /, your majesty"
~ will see that the prophecy is full.
filed. l will use them for curl-papers. I"
Washington Star.
THE APT CALLER.
Butler-There's a man below to see
| you, sir.
Mayberry-What did you tell himl
Butler-I told him you told me il it
was a lady to say you were in, and if it
was man TO say you were out.
Mayberry-What did he say thcnl
Butler-He said to tell you he was a
lady Harvard Lampoon.
SAD MEMORIES.
Madam" said the tramp, "take back
yer loaf of bread. return it unbroken.' >
What's the natter"
"It brings back too many sad mem
cries l can't tech it"
"Does III" she asked, gently, "make
you think of the bread your mother used
TO make"
"No, IN. 1t makes me think Of when
| was doin' time on the rock pile. -
! Washington Star.
GLOOMY FoREBoDINGs.
"Velvet will be worn as much as ever
this winter" said the wife Of promi-
nent New York journalist, who was read
ing fashion journal.
"Yes, ! am afraid the velvet there il
left on the collar of my last winters
overcoat will be more worn than ever
before the robins nest again." was the
pensive reply of the moulder Of public
opinion.-LTexas Siftings.
HE SKIPPED.
Millonaire's Daughter-Hurry Geof-
frey! You'd better take your cue and
and skip.
Walking Gentleman - Yes; good
night darling I'll get out before the
old mans foot lights. s.-[New York
| Press.
WHICH KILLS sLowESr.
Doctlr-You can either take this
medicine in capsules or in liquid form.
Patlent-Which kills slowest2-L Texas
Siftings.
THE MATTER WITH 1T.
Uoon-Iook here Waters I don't
care for any more milk like that you left
yesterday morning. 1t was altogether
too cynical to suit my taste.
Waters (the milkman) )-Cynicall What
do you meana
Hoon-It seemed to have been pre-
maturely soured Puck.
FURTHER INSTRUCTION POSTPONED.
After leading carefully up to the sub
| iect the teacher of the class in the Waits
Mission Sunday school felt confident he
had made an impression on Snub-Nosed
Mike. the bootblack.
And now, Nike" he said. adapting
his style of talk 10 the vocabulary Of the
class, what ort of kids do you think
go TO heaven"
Dead ones" answered SDub- -Nosed
Mike, solemnly.
And the moral lesson ended right there.
-lChicago Tribune.
--
No Waiting for IA Bite There.