The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-06
Children Cry for
Pitchers Castoria.
SMITHS MAGAZINE.
Truly Great Scheme With a Very Pror
ising Outlook.

isins Outlook.
The drummer was talking to two or
three reporters.
81 met an old fellow in Adrain, he
said, that had a scheme of interest to
you newspaper chappies.
Naturally, they asked him to put
them on.
San old fellow at hotel there" he
continued, got to talking to me about
newspapers. He said his name was
John Smith, of Smithville, Smith county,
Tennessee, and that he had originally
come from Michigan and was then on
a visit among his relatives in various
parts of the state, and also to look up
members of the Smith family and name.
81 have made money, he said, half
million or more, and I'm going to spend
a part Of it in esta blishing monthly
periodical to be called the Smiths mag
azine, to which nobody shall become d
subscriber unless he bears the name of
Smith. Plain Smith, too: none of your
Smyths, of Smythes, or Smithes or
Schmids or anything like them.
'''Great Scott, man, said l, give me
the money What do you want to throw
it away for? The Smiths are not nu-
merous enough to keep you going
''Ain't they?" he said, with little
sneer. "Well, let me tell you there is
hardly state in the union that hasn't
a post office with the name Smith in it
somewhere. and there are 1,500 post
masters and post Office employees named
Smith. Illinois has, for instance, Il
Smithfield, Smithdale, Smith boro, i
Smithshire, a Smithton and a Smith
vile. Then there are Smiths creeks,
Smiths fords, Smiths ferrys, Smiths
mills. Smith groves, Smiths valleys,
Smiths cross roads, Smiths lakes
Smith landings, Smiths corners, Smiths
rivers, Smiths fats, Smiths ranches,
Smithburgs, Smiths basins, Smith
towns Smiths branches. Smiths roads,
Smiths forks, Smith points, and down
in South Carolina. Smiths Turnout, all
post offices, too, from Maine to Califor-
MIA, and the Lord only knows how
many Smith places there are that are
not post offices, mine, for instance. In
Michigan, there is a Smith in st. Clair
county, and one in Saginaw: Smiths
corners in Sanilac and in Oceana coun-
ties; then there are Smiths creek, two
Smiths crossings, Smiths siding and
Smithville, four of them post Offices
Two Smiths in Michigan are postmas-
ters, and among business men
there are about a hundred in De-
troit in business; twenty-five in
Grand Rapids; twenty-five in the two
Saginaws, to only seven in the two Bay
Cities; Lansing has four, Kalamazoo
eight; Ypsilanti six; Adrian seven, and
so on down to Adair, small town of
sixty or seventy people, where there IS
one. These are the figures of two years
ago. and. of coarse they have increased,
because the Smiths are prolific and pro-
gressive. / believe that / am safe in
saying that there are upwards of Is, 600
Smiths in the state of Michigan alone.
In other states they are proportionately
as numerous, and you can readily see
what contingent have to draw from,
not counting the family pride Why,
sir, in the national capital, a city Of
$50, 900 people, there are over 1,200
Smiths. a Smith ratio of one 20 every
200. not counting the children. And
children, sir, are features Of the Smith
family"
The drummer paused moment
well, boys he resumed, that
wasn't one quarter of it He bad
Smith statistics till you couldn't think,
and when he finally had To stop to rest
his chin, ] wanted 20 take several
shares in his magazine. but III be
blamed if he'd let me have it at any
price Now. what have you 70 say 10
that?7
It's SDithicai, piped a small reporter
for an obscure sheet around the corner.
and the drummer threw cigar butt at
him Detroit Free Press