Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-10-18
LITTLE JOHNNY.

he wuld be dam. Then Uncle Ned he spoke
up, his own self, an sed, Uncle Ned did,
Robert, if you have red that out of The
Post, must say the press is done great in
iustiss to by them which says newspapers
is liar, cos that is a fack."
NV father he luked like he was astonish,
an be said wot was fack And Uncle Ned
sed, "Wy, that you will be DAM"
But my father he spoke up an sed:
"Edard, you make me tireder than days
work. Wot l ment was Jug Mackenny
cried when he past the deth sentens on that
gum dasted sailer witch threw the mate
overbord. Now, wot kind of man is that
for to be jug? Wot has he got to do with
it, anyhow? He seems to think the hangin
is to be done in conscience of wot he says.
witch amt so, cos it is in conscience of wot
the Jury says. Them is the fellers WITCH
OF to weep if it is sech q terrible thing for
to hang a cuss like that Wot els could
jug Mackenny do but to pas sentens wen
the Jury had SGD the prisner done it?"
Then my father he turned an looked at
me and rose up his four fingers and whig-
gled it an sed: Johnny, listen to yure ia
ther and be wise, dwell up on his words and
know the truth. Them witch isent allowed
no discreshion hasent got no responchabil-
ity. jug Mackenny hasent got no more to
do with that hangin than the Teller viii
have witch springs the trap. Then wot right
had he got for to dress hisself oil in black
an stan up there and snottle just like he
was the hero of the piece?"
Uncle Ned, witch hadent said nothing for
long time, cos wen my father is took that
way he wants to be let do all the tolkin, he
sed, Uncle Ned did: 'That remincs me of a
little story One time wen l was jug
back in old Missoury murder Teller was
foun gilty, and when l come to pass the
sentence onto him I busted into teers
Then the murder Teller he turned to the
oddiants and sed Teller citizens. If any of
you witch has come in late has got the inn
preshion from that chaps manner that it's
him witch Is to swing for murder, hope
you will do me the jestice to observ that it
amt so. He is a jim doodled imposter, and
wudent hurt rabbit
"That made me jest furious, and stopped
cryin an sed, John Sphinx, you infernle
wrascle, sentence you to be hung by the
neck till you are as dead as Adam, an as
for God havin mercy on yure scalliwag
soul, that's jest as he pleeses.
gesses il Uncle Ned was ever on the bench
it was at dog sho. My sisters yung man
has got black hair but hern is brown, an
wen bern is against hisen, you see the diff
ference, but you got to be quick about it.
My father he said other time:
''Wots oil this rot in the papers about the
Duke of New York margin that Teck girl!
There's 10 columns about that, and wen the
Squedunk Sampson carrys OK oil round
the ring on the spine Of his backbone these
editors can tel it all in two inchs. A Teller
wude think that for q prince and prin-
cess to get marrid was the most difficult feet
witch coud be undertook"
Uncle Ned he sed:
1T isent the difficulty of it, cos walkin
wire acros Niagry falls beats it in that re,
speck, but wot makes it interestin is, meb-
by, the great peril"
Then my mother she spoke up and sed,
my mother did:
''You OF both to be ashland of yureselfs
to tolk like sech fools wen you kno nifty
we'll that the papers make SO much OF it
becos of the excited rank of the bride and
groom"
My father he busted out an sed:
"Exolted rank be blode! line speakin
of the papers rite here in republican Amer
lea, where them kids haven't any rank al
| OIL"
| Uncle Ned he looked real sollem out Of
both of his eyes, an bime by he sed:
Zone time wen was in Bomgomba 1t was
given out that the city was to have Witt
from the queen of Ngwumwum, witch is the
only place in the world where frogs has
wings So the mayor of Bomgomba, who
ode his position to his skill in throing live
cats thrugh horse golfers without tutching,
he rwote out long speetch of welcum fol
to read at her. The speetch it was day,
and it was arranged by the town council
that after it was spoke it was to be rwote
in letters of gold oil over the front of the
temple, and tot in the publick schools, and
sang for ever in the wurship of Glubdoo,
the god of rats.
$50 wen the day come, and the queen OF
Ngwumwum arrived, the mayor was on
hand in front of the temple with his speech.
OF the rest of the peoples thay stood along
the sides of the streets with their lungs out,
witch is token Of respeck, and wen the
queen was drove up an set before the mayor
be begun for to read"
Wen Uncle Neds story had got that fal
my father he said
"Wot the American people need is phiz.
lex. Thay are sick, that's it. If thay was
give the right kind Of medicine thay wudent
do sech things. Educashion wont do them
no good us long as thay have got bad liv
ers, witch comes of eaten pie and fried meat.
You can't make Teller respeckt hisselt
wich has yello liver, and its the fried
I, ~ cVr,soh II hot "
Let me make a nashions medcin an care
not who makes them take it, Sho me
man with a red liver and plenty of blu
mass in his pocket, an lie show you pa
triot witch makes tirany tremble"
Uncle Ned he said:
1.-THE speech it was pretty long and the
mayor he read on an on an on oil the after.
noon, and the peoples KEEP their lungs
hangin out of their mowths to sho that they
wident think Of sayin anything in the
presents of roilty. Just rs the sun went
down the mayor he finished off with gloin
periorashion, an stood silent in a noble an
strikin attitude Of blended dignity an grace.
The queen she dident say anything Bime
by the queens priminister he tapt the may.
or on the sholder from behine and said in
his ear, Her majesty would be pleased to
reply, but approximately she is dunn
"The mayor he was astonish, but he said,
'Mebby her majesty will xpress her sense Of
things in writing
'The priminister he said, That would
afford her crate pleshure, but by misteri.
GUS deere of Providence her majesty is par
allied
1.-THE mayor was real sorry, he said, but
peraps her majesty had some other way for
to signify her mind about wot she had herd
.The priminister he sed: 'Unluckly she
dident hear it. Her majesty is deaf
"Wen he herd that the mayor sed: oh,
my Godl wot was born fort But surely
you know that her majesty is plesed by all
these DEMONSTRATORS in her oner-the