The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-01-01
dare think. for fear that my heart-throos

respect me and love me after what / have
TO tell; but said that / would come and
tell you this. and then ask Miss Ellen TO
marry me, and have come. Shall l say
more?'
He did not wal: for any reply, but in
his excited mood seemed to understand or
anticipate the minds of his frienas as he
hurried on:
You both know me. you have been my
friends. In your life, my bishop, have
found guide; and in Miss Eien's kind
ness l have found inspiration that has
helped me onward and upward IN my
profession and in my inner life. in my self
respect. and in my very rnanliness, hope;
yes, in everything.
Il do not need to tell you of my present
successes in my profession or otherwise.
YOU know each day the deeds OF my lite.
But what want 10 tell you; what must
tell you. is very far from ali OF this.
Here is photograph, one that Is
stained by kisses, my kisses. IL Is Ce-
celia Manor, My Saint Cecilia she Is
dead.
I'VE were school mates: and when
school life was over and /. penniless law
student, walked past the doors of her
fathers Fifth avenue home. 1 rebeiled at
the thought that there could be no room
room in the heart of As noble q
woman as Gods sunlight ever blessed.
saw her when I could and she loved me as
l loved her; and in the little ways that
true women have. she told me so.
Il worshipped her; worshipped as mar
tyrs must worship God. So terrible,
so awe-full is such alteration that cannot
describe it to you. nor can you know 1t
without 1t be by experience. l could not
even show 1t to her, by actions, as IL seems
now that might; / could scarce think It
myself" Uorlmer nearly stopped, over
come by the energy of his emOtions.)
You wonder why 1 tell you all this,
perhaps; and why my excitement? have
never told it to anyone, and it has been
burning into my life all these years; |
never told it to Celia. but in looks and
feeble acts of love. She told her mother
of her own thoughts and her belief IN
mine, and the good mother, with sad
knowledge of the years of waiting, en-
couraged us to be patient and see what the
future had in store.
Then in time came a reaction: my
pride exerted itself; my thoughts grew
more definite and clear; line of duty
which had been overlooked in love
became apparent. / looked into the
future and saw the great gulf that her
beauty, her fathers wealth, her social
position, her very self, must leave BE-
tween US; in fact. had already left between
US. l saw wealthy. capable, socially equal
suitors for her hand.
Il cannot tell you the self-struggle, but
little by little conquered myself. and at
last gathered up the many little tokens
that held her presence when l saw them,
and sent them to her. l sent but brief
note saying that it had all been an error,
our lives were too divergent, our oppor-
tunitles at variance, that my life was I'M
happy and hers wasted by our love. 1t
was done, and / was martyr in my own
selfish eyes.
81 do not see how we kept it 50. but for
two years I never closed my eyes nor
opened them but to thoughts of Saint
Cecilia; my Saint Cecilia; and yet I
never saw her. The same spirit which
sent her tokens back kept me from the
opportunities of meeting her. / avoided
the streets, the cars, the theater and the
church for fear l might meet her, and tn at
she might think IL intentional and weak.
And not a sign came to me that l was not
forgotten-and then began to fear that
was
II buried myself in my studies and
work; and to lose my individuality
devoted myself to my profession. I
think that in my profession, as in all
things, / owe my success to nv Saint
Cecilia could never have worked so.
but for the circumstances that my love for
her evolved.
"One day read in the Herald that Miss
Cecilia Manor, accompanied by her
parents and DR.. Dunsmoor and nurse,
was en- route to Ainsworth Heights, Ga.
''She came home early in the spring:
with eager fear L found that in the close
watched newspaper, and then my courage
failed. l went to her home; I can tell you
no more.
1--WE said last farewell. She still loved
me as she had ever loved me. NV whole
heart was laid bare in its great overwhelm-
ing despair. The next morning my Saint
Cecella awoke in heaven
Il did not attend the funeral, but there
has never been Sabbath since when dow-
ers for Saint Cecilia have not been NV
first thought: and never a possible oppor.
tunlty when | have not been at my Saint
Cecelia's grave
at was three years ago that she died. I
worship her as I ever have and ever will.
no matter what my surroundings and cir
cumstances; no matter where nor what
my home may be; nor how glad it may be
made by the presence of a true wife. if God
80 wills it. Ny home shall always contain
memory of that love which shall make it
happier home to me, that shall make it
so much the more full of that true love
which alone can make home.
.! cannot help this; would not if
could. NV Saint Cecilia would not. per-
haps. have seemed SO sanity to you, but
she lived as far above me as the stars above
the earth, and it is only as / know that
worship her, and that / do no violence to
that sanity memory, that can bring N.Y.
SELF to speak to you, my hearts conf
dants. as I wish.
Il do not ask for an unstudied answer
on this, my life's thoughts; nor for any
answer that, If given, will sever our
friendship or lose me your confidence.
| have not told you this for sympathy.
for my thoughts and dreams are ali
aglow with that sympathy which is I'M
speakabe; but if you, Miss Ellen, can be-
heve that my love for one who was true.
noble and good above all others. has made
me more capable of loving a woman whom
l would make my wife. If YOU can see
and believe that this love has made me
equal to loving care for true woman,
such as l never could have felt without
II. And if you. my bishop friend, can
but see tins as l do; if you can read
my heart through my imperfect words.
and know that all that am, all that
can be, and all the love of which I am
capable, is due TO the love of nv Saint
Cecilia, and that it can bring nothing but
love and happiness to our home. If Won
understand this as do then have no re-
greet as ask Miss Ellen to be my wife"
He knelt slowly, devoutly: not in a
spirit of passionate love so often pictured :
but In worshipping attitude that seemed
as much for the dead as for the living.
and buried his face in his hands-a strono
man IN the presence of the great divinity
OF pure love-and in the sobs of the
father and daughter, as thew chung to each
nf 81 q han 4