Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1893-08-31
ONE DAYS FISHING.

Like blooming idiot" said the ma
jor, 81 agreed to take the colonel fishing.
"Well, the next afternoon, which was
Saturday, he came around with fish
ing rod that ! gave him, and when I got
into the cab blame me if he didn't have
a trunk. Got my things in that said
he, and may eternally fry If there
weren't things enough in that trunk to
stock a pawnshop. By ged, he had every
thing from evening clothes to patent
bootjack. But he hasn't them any more,"
and the major chuckled.
1--WE started for Mud Run, out in
Pennsylvania. I'd never been there be-
fore, but man told me there was good
fishing there. he was liar, by the way.
about the time we got started the
colonel wanted to smoke, and by the
hind hobs Of Gehenna if he hadn't
packed all the cigars in that bloody
trunk. When I cussed, he tried to get
up in the baggage car and was nearly
killed. Then he got some bad cigars
from the porter and growled for an hour
steady. Pretty soon he wanted drink,
and the whisky was in that confounded
trunk.
1.-The woman at the hotel where we got
out said it was too late to get anything
to eat, and the colonel got mad and
called me burbling chump for drag
ging him out into the wilderness.
when the boy walked us in the morn
ing, the colonel kicked becauseh he had to
get up so early. He had the deuce of q
time finding his things in that Internal
trunk, and he kicked because I got inn.
patient.
"The woman at the hotel looked queer
when we got down. Going fishingp says
she. You'd better look out for the con-
stable. It's against the law to fish round
here Sundays
"Then the colonel got suspicious and
said he didn't want to be locked up. ]
got him into the wagon, and the driver
says: Better look out for the constable.
It's against the law to fish round here
Sundays
"'Say,' says the colonel, I'm not going
to get locked up and bring eternal dis
grace upon my family choked him
off finally, and we started. Then we met
a farmer, and he lowed that we'd get in
trouble if we fished on Sunday. The
driver grinned and the colonel, like the
eternal galoot he is, says, 4 told you so.
It took me about 10 minutes to choke
him off, but he growled all the way to
the stream. ...s
"Say," continued the major, "did yor
ever see the colonel catch trout No? Well
neither did anybody else. He couldn't
catch trout in aweek of leap years. By
ged, it was a sight to see him whiI
the stream. 1t was like driving balky
mules over broken bridge. He banged
that river until half the fish in it were
scared to death, and guess he thought
he could catch trout by knocking them
stone dead with his rod. He lost about
two dozen flies trying to cast half the
length of his rod, and then he got his
line all tangled up in the bushes. Did
you ever hear the colonel swear? Well
hodcarriers and river pirates aren't in il
with the colonel. Talk about breaking
the Sabbath! Why, the colonel swore
enough to send an army to perdition fol
eternity.
"While the colonel was cussing every
thing in sight the driver came tearing
down the road, waving his hands like 6
windmill in full sail.
"'Hip he yelled, the constable's com
ing, and he's after you too. You'd bet
ter get. Cut up through the woods
there, and I'll meet you at theturn oi
the pike
"We didn't know where the turn oi
the pike was, but the colonel grabbed
me by the arm and hustled up into the
woods. When we got under cover, hi
was steaming like a soap factory anG
cussing me too.
"'What in the name of thunder die
you ever bring me out here for? Yor
want to get me arrested. do you?
81 was that speechless that couldn't
arswar- inst stood and lnnlzad at him
NkE0M "a