The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1893-03-14
DRIFTWOOD.


The richer man becomes, the
more he insists on the importance OF
honesty.
No one likes to visit all the time,
because. no one likes to be polite all
the time.
No man who is fond of his wife
ever has TO learn to tie his tie, or look
tor things that are lost.
The railroads are writing nicer
letters this year, and sending fewer
passes, than ever before.
What a cool, delightful summer.
resort the frying-pan seems 10 you,
after You have landed in the fire.
A privilege of home that YOU
never read about, but always appre-
ciate, is that Of slamming doors when
you get mad.
We are sorry there is no such
word as "boringest." We occasionally
want to refer to the boringest man in
the world.
In the offices in Kansas CITY
where there is the least business trans
acted, We see the most doors marked
Private"
"A good many people believe that
as soon as they eat pie with fork,
and wear a muslin night gown, they
are cultured.
"A great many women have to 60
to the album when they want to see
how their husbands look when they
are pleasant.
Though every one agrees when a
man dies that he is better of, no one
is DESTROYS of lettering his own con-
dition by following him.
As soon as people find out that
paper does not contain a perfect mar
ket report, they want markets more
than anything else.
The man who compliments his
wife in public great deal is gener-
ally regarded as sham. That's not
the hest way TO be good to Il woman.
We are panied to find that Kan
sas City has a man in it of the kind
YOU find in other towns: when YOU
shake hands with him, i. has the same
effect on YOU Us if YOU had grasped a
wet fish tail.
The gown worn by Mrs. Cleve-
land at the inaugural ball was made
in the empire style. This will make
the women smile: they know some
thing funny about the empire style of
gowns.
Did you ever think how much
backdOor econemv is practiced to keep
up front door style? lu many houses
where the front resembles a bloated
millionaire, the back door sees as much
pinching and grinding as man trying
to keep out of the poor house.
There may be congressman and
United States senators who have wives
who are thin. homely, and not bright,
but the people never heard of them.
Every woman who goes to Washington
wears her dress low in the neck, Is de-
scribed as a beauty, and "helped to
make her husband" A famous man
With a homely wife is as rare as a CEN
Jury plant.
When country dog comes to
own, and tries to behave himself by
under the wagon to which
ne belongs, he attracts great deal Of
infavOrable attention from other dogs,
Who are constantly coming around and
,llering to chew his foot. In case the
country dog sticks 50 closely to the
wagon that wheel finally runs over
lis foot, and he is compelled to ex-
press his anguish by means of loud
Tells, all the town dogs will take after
lin. As the procession goes by,
very dog that sees it will join in,
md every new dog will try to get at
he one that is in trouble, and bite
lin. The new dogs do no know what
he trouble is, and they do not care;
here is dog running and thes want
o bite him on the foot, which is SAID
o be particularly tender spot with
dog. Some people are good deal
ike dogs. When anyone is in trouble
hey want to make the trouble worse,
ather than better.
There is class Of young men to
e met with everywhere who seem to
e of no other use than to act as par
Or favorites. They are content to
i've from hand to mouth for the priv
ege Of being parlor favorites, and
hey are seldom distinguished any
Their way. From time to time, the
arlor favorites disappear. usually
eaving number of unpaid bills be-
ind, and q girl or 90 to mourn for