The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-26
p,yNcgNr PARAGRAPHS.

The Wifc-"You are poor excuse
for man" The Husband--I must
be, INV dear, IL married you to get
better half."-Truth.
Mrs. Fern-"What! Married again,
and your wife has only been dead three
wccks?" The Carpenter--'Why, yes.
Isn't she as dead as she ever will beP'
-Soundings.
Summer Landlord "Well, how
does the thermometer stand this morn
ingP' Summer Guest--"It does not
stand, 1t lies, by about fifteen degrees"
Indianapolis Journal.
TIT must have been love match,
Tor she knew he was poor" NO he
told her he had only remnant of his
fortune left, and she, of course, thought
she'd get bargain. Inter Ocean.
Deacon Bragg-"Do you think it is
sinful to marry for money!" Rev. Mr.
Tium-"It never occurred to me so; on
the contrary, sometimes have thought
the fee was too small. ."-1'oston Globe.
Jack Brown and his sister Emily
are twins aren't they?' "They are
now, but they won't be when Jacks
thirty. Emily will never consent to be
the same age as Jack then. '-Harper's
Bazaar.
81 understand" said the man of
general information, "that the King
of Siam has hundred wives.' 'Great
Scott" exclaimed Mr.. Meellins; ''no
wonder he isn't looking for war;
Washington Star.
-"I hope, Johnny" said the Sunday
school teacher to her new scholar,
'that your parents are good Chris
tians." "Well, ma isl replied Johnny;
land pa used to be, but l guess he is
little out of practice now"
-Fizzleum-'I went home full the.
other night. and had the greatest diff
Guilty in finding the keyhole." Squiz-
zleum-"I can always find dozen
when go home in that condition.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Not Much Danger.-Mr. Snooper
(boastingly)-"I carry my life in my
hand" Miss Giddey with glance at
the size of his hand)-'T should say
your life was fe."--Detroit Free
Press.
--Colored Philosophy.-"Why, Sam,
how do you expect to get that mule
along with spur only on one side?"
''Well, boss, if I gets dat side to CO.
amt de udder one boun' to keep up?"
Yankee Blade.
"A Dangerous Summer Girl.-He-
| $50 we are engaged. Isn't it lovely?"
Satisfactorily" He-"I wonder il
anybody saw me when kissed you last
night?" She-"I hope So" He
''What?" She-"I hope So" He
'Why?" She-"I mean business and
want witnesses. Detroit Free Press.
From One Point of View.-"I won
der" said one of the loungers," what
was the origin of the swallow-tailed
coat?" SIT is my idea" said the grizzle-
whiskered man from Montana, "that
they We're cut that way in the first
place to make it handy for man to
git his gum n.'-Indianapolis Journal.
Young Man-"Why don't you go
faster? am going to be married this
morning and at this rate 1 will arrive
too late for the wedding Driver
! athetically)-"Well. what of
that? am giving you plenty of time
to think better of it"-Chips.
AN Experienced Man.-Jeweler-
"Yes, Sir, l will engrave anything you
wish on this ring without extra
charge" Young Man-"Inscribe on it
From George to Alice" Jeweler-
"H'm. The lady is your sister, may
be?" Young Man-"The fact is this is
an engagement ring" Jeweler-"Ah,
my young friend, have had consider
able experience in engagement rings,
and would suggest that the inscrip-
tion be simply From George Then it
will do for another time, you know"
Iowa State Register.