davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New South., 1893-09-23
HUMOROUS.

what have you really learned in
college, Harry, that is useful to youg'
Il learned that | don't know how &c
play poker. "-BroolSlyn Life.
-He-"Don't you think Il wrong fos
people to marry their intellectual infe.
riors9n She-"les. always wrong. and
in some cases quite impossible. y Rose.
leaf.
I'm winter we kick and we growl and we
swear.
When the ice on the sidewalk does gather.
But in summer we pay just to get II put there;
And rave II II fa!lss Well now, rather.
buffalo Courier.
--"What made Jaggs leave the lawn
party just after the fireworks bcgan?''
well, you see, the fiery serpents that
We're sent up looked so natural they
started him to hiccoughing. Inter
Ocean.
-Belle--"I was supremelv hapnv
the day ! was sixteen" blanche
NO doubt. I've always insisted that
the last generation enjoyed them
selves much more than the present. w.
n. Y. Herald
Mr.. Union Cluh-"I never ret re-
ligious except at twilight, when / have
time to sit before the fire and smoke. 2
Mrs. Union Ciub--''l suppose the fire
and smoke make Won dwell upon your
future, dear. Club.
Still in Doubt. First Little Girl
Has your sister begun talSin' music
lessons yet?" Second Little Girl
"She's talSin' somfin' ON tn piano; but
can't tell yet whether its music or
type-writin'. Daily Traveller.
-iunior Partner-"While / was TAX
ing down that buyers order this morn
ing, | told him one of your funny
stories. Senior Partner-'.Ha, ha,
Did he laugh?s Junior Partner-"No.
He countermanded the order. .--Clo-
thier and Furnisher.
Not a Good Plan.-One Rich Fa-
ther-''I think il is the best plan for
your son to marry my daughter, and in
that way we can keep the money in the
family The Other Rich Eather-"My
lear friend. you don't know my SON.
Detroit Free Press.
An Experiments got tired of
riding home in crowded cars. so |
bought bicycle 80 you are going
% ride home on that hereafter?r
Well, i don't know. I got it only
and last night rode home
n an ambulance. Chicago Record
Young wife-"This talk about ma n
,eing so impatient when a woman is
yetting ready to go anywhere is all |
FRIEND Doesn't your hus- |
,and complain at all9r Young Wife
No indeed. Why last evening l |
find my gloves, and l had a
ong hunt for half-a-dozen other things;
md yet when l WAS finally dressed and |
vent down stairs to my husband, there
lie was by the fire reading and smok-
ng as calmly as If wasn't half an
lour late Friend--"Well. l declare.
Where were you going?- Young Wife
ITO prayer-meeting Buffalo Com
aercial.
The New South., 1893-09-23
a NEW BONANZA.
Disabling the ryseo of wheat ~ consert-
lnx n into H0Rs.

The low price Of wheat and the ten
dency 70 still lower prices, seems 70
present an opporfune time 70 call The
attention of the farmers of the wheat
districts In northern Minnesota and
the Dsksfas to the high price Of hogs-
A. the present prices of hogs recent
experiments seem 70 demonstrate that
by fattening hogs on wheat. the farmer
may realize more than o. per bnshel
Tor his wheat, now worth AZ the farm
40 70 20 cents, and which, after freight
has been paid 70 Minneapolis or Duluth
u worth only about e2 or 90 cents At
present prices, the largest car load of
wheat fi.soo bushelsj In 81 Paul is
worth only about $500. while car load
OF hogs Of the same weight 100, 900
pounds) would be worth 1880.
The hog natures az the age Of six to
nine months. Hence II Il is true that
50-cent wheat when turned into pork
becomes wopth more than si q bushei.
the business OF raising hogs by the
wheat farmer promises large profits
and quick returns
Now let us see what evidence there
y upon The value Of wheat for fatten-
Ing hogs
Upon this point the following state
ment has been made. "A farmer in one
Of the best corn and wheat counties Ia
central Illinois was so reluctant the
past season 10 sell his wheat at the pre-
vailing prices that he thought he would
convert u into pork. lie was greatly
pleased AZ the result lie had e., 900
worth of hogs, and fattened them al
most on wheat, using a little corn. His
method was 10 soak the wheat In warm
water twenty-four hours before feed
Ing. In cold weather he let the water
come 10 a boil in the kettle and then
poured in the whest and put out the
fire. When Il cooled Il was soaked |
enough and ready 70 feed, which he did |
immediately. He weighed the hogs be-
fore commencing 10 feed and kept n |
strict account Of the weights Of all grain /
fed; also figured the corn al 35 cents
and the fat hogs at ~ cents. Said he:
The wheat just brought me s1.0l per
bushcl' -
From this statement IL would seem
hat wheat Is worth sl.0i per bushel 70
Iced when hogs are worth ~ cents per
,ound. The present price of hogs in
,t Paul market is SO cents, which, on
he above basis, would make wheat
worth si.25 per bushel.
The writer Is informed that during
he last few months twenty-four full
arloads Of fat hogs have been sold at
he South St. Panl market which were
niscd IN northern Dakota and fattened
ntirely on wheat, sometimes fed In the
manner pointed out by the Illinois
armer and sometimes converted into
ude graham -four before feeding. |
he unanimous testimony OF the r..isers
as been 10 the effect that by feeding II
hey had realized over one dollar per
ushel for their wheat. The quality Of
he product of such hogs is said to be
nperior to the product OF the corn-fed
nimals. II this is true, Il seems TO open
p the possibility 70 the wheat farm.
rs OF introducing TO the markets Of the
'orld q brand Of American pork which
. time would become as famous as
Minnesota hard wheat, and, like Il.
ommand the highest prices and the
est markets.
IL Is certainly matter worthy of
onsideration.--A u. Sticxney. !,
The New South., 1893-09-23

The thought is an old one, but far too
valuable TO be allowed to fall into des.
uetudc because OF age. that the prod,
uets OF the farm. 10 sell for the highest
market prices, must be put up in the
most presentable and acceptable shape
and the best condition possible. This
fact cannot be too strongly impressed
upon the minds Of the producers The
merchants know how todo il by artistic
displays ON their counters and shelves
and in their show windows and the
reader may be assured that the same
rule applies throughout the business
world. A ear load OF choice selected
potatoes, for example, will sell for fully
fifty per cent more than another ear u
all sorts and all sizes. Ii Is the same
with apples and other kinds Of sruit
as with potatoes and all kinds OF vege-
tables; and with hogs. sheep and cattle
and grain as well. Clean well. assort
well, use only sound packages OF full
size; ship to commission merchants uf
known and tried integrity, and. as
rule, quality will sell your goods and
command the market-Colman's Rural
World.
The New South., 1893-09-23

thunder mnitering and rolling over The
hills behind me Suddenly the trnfh
flashed across nv mind that the sfonr
anchor which held my boat must hare
slipped from its loop and the boat was
drifting away from me with Increasing
speed " WAS decidedly startling and
disagrrcable situation, 70 ray the least.
Out Ia fi. middle of the lake. with one
~ shose violent mountain storms com
ing Vn. ihe land u mile away from me
On every side. and my boat driving on
with the wind faster than could SWIM
The more ] considered Il the more ter
rihly serious the matter looked. and II
was not long before ! realized that, sn
uroba biliiies 90. there was only about
onc chance In Ten thatsf should y~t out
Of my adventure nlive. Under favor
able circumstances ! could have swan
n mile, no doubt bat not IN raging,
driving storm.
Al soon a. ! saw that u would be Inn
possible for mc to overtake the drifting
boat brought myself to an upright
position and began 70 triad water,
whiic took good look around me
Hos ms heart leaped with Joy when
] sAw. not more than afty yards away,
What looked Ike short. thick, foat-
ing leg u was drifting along In the
same direction a. the boat, but az
much slower rate of speed. and was
filii % windward of me, 20 that could
easily suirrcrpi IL
strack out VITA renewed courage.
and heart that was lighter by n good |
many mental tons than il had been a |
fcw minutes previously. II did not |
take me long 20 get In line with the
dark noatlug object, but just - was
about ta make spurt for Il and lay
hold of lt something caused me 20 stop
~ suddenly ~ II had been seized with
cramps
The dark object turned ont 70 have a
head, and that head was bears head.
The apparently floating log was moth.
ing less than bear, letting the wind
drift him across the lake. as "a fre.
qncutly done by these big furry fellows
when they have long journey TO make
By water and feel lazy.
II IL had not been so terribly serious
Ihe situation would have beer ridicu.
ous In the extreme At lnst the enthu.
siastic bear.huntcr had come face 10
lace with his gamc-but under what
Unexpected and discoufaging circum
Itanceal The tables had been turned In
'uch a way as 10 leave little doubt
which would be the game and which !
he hunter should the bear choose 10
ake advantage Of the situation. Prob.
Ibly few hunters have ever been placed
n such an embarrassing, not 70 say dis ,
resslng. situation. | must either beg /
idc from the bear or 20 10 the bottom
The New South., 1893-09-23

the empty tray for the next one TO be
turned.
In the illustration, A A is the body
Of the case, u Il Il Il Il are strips, one
inch square, nailed four inches apart,
on which the tray slides, and X is one
Of the trays. This arrangement is n
great labor-saving one, as the eggs in
each tray may be easily turned in half
a minute, IL is best not have the case
too large. Trays holding fifty eggs
each are handled with less difficulty
than larger ones. Ii is important to
turn eggs mt least three times week
when saving them, and the egg case
should be in cool place. II eggs,
from hens not in yards with roosters
are used, they win keep several months
in this case. Simply lay the eggs on
the trays, as no packing or egg-preserv-
ing materials are necessary. Farm and
Fireside.
The New South., 1893-09-23
HOME HINTS Anp gel ps.

I
--Potafo robynsise: Stew cold slice,
boiled potas<oes IL broth or milk an,
dress wi,a caper sauce, and you wil
have potato polonaise ~ Boston Globe
= Herring Fiiiets: This . q goos
rest The salt herrings should be care
fully washed, the heads taken Of
and properly cleaned, then. they
should he soaked IN milk and watei
two honrs After this they should b,
wiped dry and soaked in half vinegar
and water for twenty-four hours viii
raw onions and whole pepper. They
should be perfectly drained and serves
IN boat with vinegar and oil blended
with mustard. Boston Globe.
Strawberry Cream Cake: Two cup.
fuls of sugar. four eggs. one cupfui d
sweet milk. six tablespoonfuls @.
melted butter. three cupfnls ~ flour
two teaspoonfuls OF baking powder
Bake n layers. For the cream take
one eupfui of thick sweet cream ans
beat or whip until stiff. add four IN
blespoonfuls Of granulated sugar 1.-THE
granulated sugar gives firinncss. bui
must be fine grained. and one pint ot
strawberries, well sweetened: spread
on the layers Of cake, when perfectlv
cool -FIOusekeeper.
--Chowchow; One quart Of very
small cuenmbers, one quart Of small
onions, one quart Of green tomatoes
cut IN small pieces. one caulifiower,
three red peppers sliced; mix all to-
gether and scald them In salt and
water. After draining pour over them
hot vinegar and LET stand two or three
days Drain OF the old vinegar. Take
a quarter Of n pound OF English mus.
tard. one quart of good vinegar, one
cupful Of brown sugar, one-half cupful
u Hour. Boil little vinegar, mix IN
the other ingredients in little cold
vinegar and pour into the pot, let ii
boil up and pour II hot over the
pickles. Ohio Farmer.
Cooking Beefsteaks and Chons.
Trim the steak carefully. cutting Of
all ragged pieces for soup-meat Put.
In the pan piece Of butter the size of
a hilbert, and teaspoonful Of worees.
tershire sauce. Lay the steak upon the
butter and sauce. Butter thinly the
side that Is up. and sprinkle with salt
and pepper. Cover closely. Let cook
about three minutes, then turn over
This browns both sides and keeps the
Juice In the steak. Turn once or twice
more while cooking, which should take
ibout ten minutes for a steak OF me.
iinm thickness. Chops should be cooked
ust as steak, except that, being thin.
ier, they will require rather less time.
Ladies' Home journal.
--Jellied Veal: Take knuekle of
Teal, wipe, put in a kettle. over with
old water, and bring slowly to boil:
kim, and let simmer for two hours;
i'd a slice Of onion. blade OF mace.
! dozen whole cloves, half dozen pep. |
'er-corns. half a teaspoonful of ground |
.lispice, and one grated nutmeg; let
INNER gently for one hour longer. |
Take the joint of veal up, remove the
'oncs and gristle, put the meat in a
quare mold, strain the liquor, and
'oil until reduced to one quart: add
ialf a teacup Of vinegar. the juice Of d
mall lemon, with pepper and salt pour
over the meat, and stand aside over
light to cool. When ready to serve.
urn carefully out OF the mold: parnish
With parsley and thin slices of lemon.
lice very thin. Farm, Field and Fire.
ide.
The New South., 1893-09-23

The popularity of stained floors goes
ON increasing. Nowhere are they more
appreciated than in sleeping rooms.
where sweetness and freshness are the
main considerations. just what is the
best stain is difficult question to de-
eide, although permanganate OF potash
is believed to possess many advantages.
1t is much used in the navy, and is very
satisfactory in sitting rooms and sleep
ing rooms. AS most people know, per-
manganate not only STAINS, but purifies
and disinfeets the rooms which are
stained. The mode of procedure is this
Procure good quality of perman-
ganate OF potash and dissolve about an
ounce and a half of the crystals IN 4
gallon of boiling water. This win
make quite dark stain. Use a stick
TO stir up the mixture; then. with
painters fat brush. lay on the stain.
working the way of the wood Quickly
and boldly National Builder.
The New South., 1893-09-23
DOES n P4Yq


n nac poor ffriirFiiaf 3piitr Ger ifet road.
who meets - " me wAT.
sccs on less conscious q his rA4iaai icAd.
Then life indees does pay
u We Gao show oss iroapies hsagt he gain
There lirs henratA III les.
why, then. se To- are paid fcf Al thc pals
OF bearing iifes hard Srusa
n some despan6ens ssal 70 hqpe -ss sartsA
Some tAa iirs moved 10 rmiis
Ht any act 81 ours cr any wure
Tier hAs iifs hcea ~uih sffe
si.enrh - su~st thinrs srx nissiEg frum sui
lot
Wherein al wpsx are rfs-
" 10 sonf efhes cns 50 hsTs fro4slt
We shaHis shsFs sod scs M
-Eus wh.riss wiser ~ onrs week.
The New South., 1893-09-23

of the lake that was pretty evident.
Tho waves were rising, the storm was
beginning 70 sweep down the mountain.
side. Still, ! was naturally delicate
about asking favor from one for
whom ! had two shnrlt's.tceth traps
set In the woods, and a gun loadcd
with fourteen successive ounces OF lead
There was no time 20 consider the
matter however; and really il seemed
better TO be clRwcd, chewed or even
hugged TO death than 10 be helplessly
drowned. No ] swan around the bear.
approached his hanlss. and very timidly
and respectfully put out one hand and
got hold OF his furry hide. There was
q protesting growl on the part OF bruin,
but he made no other objection 10 TAX.
ing me In tow, and sor few moments
we foatcd along very sociably togeth.
er. Then the storm broke upon ns
with all its iierceness, and | actually
ceased 20 fear the bear In the turmoil
OF the elements and, drawing closer 10
his sheltering side, buried both hands
In his long FUR and hung on for dear
life. II was n perfect hurricane that
burst over us Tho wind whipped OF
the crcsts OF the waves as II they had
been 40 many white hats: the light.
ning flashed aud darted all around us,
and the air was torn by crash on crash
OF rafting thunder Ii was not lonr
before the bear was MS fr ightcned as /.
and began 20 swim, dragging me along
with him. actually believe he was
for my company, in that terri.
flying tumult of sky and water. and
am sure | was about as thankful for
his as man could well be. II was
impossible 10 see dozen yards ahead.
but the bear seemed 20 know by
instinct where the nearest land
lay, and SWAN steadily ON
as little affected by
the waves as ship Of three hundred |
tons burden. Occasionally heard him
snort and blow, when the wind whipped |
OF a whitecap and tossed Il squarcly In |
his face, but he had ceased TO growl at |
his companion in danger, though one
q my hands had sought out his stub IL
tail. and mus, have given Il some
painful wrcnches, as the rollers tossed |
me TO and fro.
just AS the fury OF the storm was
abating, we got into shallowcr water.
and once in awhile could feel my feet
touch bottom. held on however, un-
I'll the shore loomcd up In sight |
through the ram, aud then east of |
from the bear with an audible: |
Thank you. old fcllowle and let him |
make his way 10 land first. saw him
emerge, dripping. from the water.
climb the bank, and disappear in the |
woods For several minutes, however,
stood waiting, waist-deep in water,
until the coast should be safely clear |
Finally, l scnturei ashore and Law |
down TO get my breath and recover |
from my exhaustion.
As soon as | felt able to walk. / /
started, naked, for camp around the
over end of the lake, and reached it's
shelter just as the other fellows.
irenched with their long walk through |
he woods, came In from troutinv. /
old them my story, but they thought
vas guying them. and refused 10 be-
ieve me until next morning. went
nut and snapped both my hcar-traps and
.uried them in the woods. Then they
new | was speaking ia earnest when
said that ! had made up my mind
ever to kill bear. unless he tlrst
ried to kin me. Chicago Tribune Il
The New South., 1893-09-23

cut its actual qualification had gone
of into the woods, with party Of
other young fellows. 20 spend the lat.
Ger half ~ the summer vacation. We
all carried Winchester repeating rifles,
and in addition ! took two immense
bcartraps. with jaws and teeth like
sharks II was almost as much as a
persons safety of limb was worth 10
set these traps. for II they went of
permatnreiy, or the man who was ad.
justlng the tongue lost his nerve. leg
or an arm wouldn't be worth much a
second later. And as for coat-taii, II
would soon be pnt beyond the help OF
tailor.
We camped on the shore Of q noun.
tain lake, surrounded on all sides by
wooded hills. There was no house
within ten miles. and the whistle of d
locomotive, or even the rumble Of
singe-conoh, had never echoed from
those solitary monntein.sides. Here.
II anywhere, we thought, bears ought
10 be plentiful, Ours was distinctively
bear.huntinR party. but ! was the
chief enthusiast Az least, spent
more hours OF the day and night In
senrch Of the longcd-for game than any
of the resL
One sultry day ! had trampcd six or
eight miles through the woods 10 lock-
nt my traps, and on my return TO camp
felt 40 warm aud uncomfortable that
decided Va take ono af the boata, row
out into deep watcrs sna have royal
bath and swim. The other fellows
were all up the brook, trout fishing
and ! had the whole lake 10 myself. /
rowcd out fully mile from shore, So
as 10 get that grand scnsation which
every adventnresome swimmer can APP
preciatc, Of floating aud diving In a
hundred feet depth of water Those
who daily near shore know nothing
nbout this sensation. IL Il like the
sensation which nm eagle or hawk
must have, poisinR and wheeling, with
mile Of transparent air between Il.
self and the earth. Great depth Of wa
ter buoys swimmer makes him
feel ~ y he Ind wntcr-wings, and could
circle float and almost sleep on the
water MS the broad.wiugcd bird does
in the air.
When got ont into the deepest part
'i thc i"hc Threw over thc hhnrp-cOr- |
nered stone we used for an anchor. at
tachcd 10 is hundred feet OF stout cord, |
and proceeded 20 uudrcss aud make my |
first thrilling plunge Down. down / |
went into the clear water, till It's elastic |
resistance like a cushion, stopped my |
body and drove Il toward the surface
again, As | emerged, blowing the |
water from nostrils and mouth. 1 guv
that a black storm cloud was coming up
over the mountain behind the camp:
but as yet the sun shonc iicrccly from
the western sky, and had no thought
of giving mp my delicious bath for
threatened thundcrshowcr
dove repeatedly, foated, swan on
The surface and beneath the surface,
trod water and enjoyed myself In the
most luxurious fashion. Finally. 1
The New South., 1893-09-23
AGRICULTURAL HINTS.
The HANDY MECHANIC.


How fss Can s,sppiy the F&fm Kifrbe1
With Hot water.
a friend ~ mine has not only carried
water into the kitchen In pipes. but
with his own hands has made copnrc-
tion for the kitchen stove, which heats
an abundance of water for an house
hold purposes without Hitting and With
out any danger Of explosions from
steam.
a box holding % 20 gallons of water
mnst bs mounted near the sink snd
lined with copper or tin. or a strong
iron-bOund keg will do. In either case
u must not have tighthttiug lid, or
an explosion of confined steam would
result To 6il the tank. short piece
of pipe or trough ispiaced 40 that water
will run from tho cold-water faucet into
~ tSee a IN cut) Another faucet for
the water from the tank makes the
work easier than dipping II out The
heating ~ done a. follows. The water
tank u higher than the kitchen stove.
a pipe connected with the box At the
bottom j. carried along the wall 70 the
back of the stove, enters II through the
pipe above the collar. turns 10 several
coils just over the oven. and pasaes out
~ II came, ending midway Ia the side
of the box close TO the wall. with
tight Joints all the way. no leakagc--a
The New South., 1893-09-23


First sort the tags 10 get the cleanest
ones by themselves. II You get two or
more grades you win save time in
washing. Take tub OF soft water, as
warm us You can work in. Put one
grade of the tags in, stir them up. don't
leave them soak TO exceed ten minutes.
Wiring them out. A common cloth
wringer is the best Get another tub
OF warm water TO rinse the tags
In. This water will do 10 soak
the second tub Of tags in. Place
the tags in the sun to dry and
stir them up once or twice tMy. Be
careful not 70 let il rain on them. In
this way you will have nice white wool
from your tags. II they soak too long
II will stain the tags. Wool and Mutt
tOu
The New South., 1893-09-23

The Biblical Land Of Plenty" was not In
Y with Texas. the grandest State in the
Dnlor- Al invitation Ia extended 70 all 70
come and see. for 70 see Il 70 believe Yen
are assured Of hearty welcome, and an in
expensive trip, for cheap railroad rates Will
be made from all points In the Southeast
to Texas. Round trip tickets will be sold on
August Ind and 3rd for two harvest excur-
sions and can b purchased 70 any place ].
Texzs, good 70 stop od st any point on Tho
gong trip within fifteen days from Tina
ticket is purchased, s=a you nave thirty
days IN ali. 10 make the journey and get
back home. The rate is one fare for The
round trip. There is no question as 70 the
route over which you should travel. for there
is but one railroad entering the state OF
Texas. which offers the Home Seeker'
choice OF three reutes, either via MemphiA
Shreveport or New Orleans. and that u
the Texas q Pacific Railway, which croasea4
the State from East To West pas 81 o z through,
IL most fertile lands. Correspondence 30
licited BY the undersigned. who will give
full information as 10 rates, tickets and
routes. forward folders, showing time OF
trains and connections. and pamphlets de-
scriptive OF the country. II you contem-
plate going 70 Texas. 1t will pay you 70 write
us. aUd your wants will be given prompt At
tentlon. J. II. WoRp. Tray. Pass. Agent.
8 Wall ST. Atlanta. Ga. A. A. GALLAGHER
bouthern Pass Agent. lo3 Read House,
Chattanooga, Team. BissELL WILSON. South
ern Travelling Agent, S5< West Main st..
Louisville, Ky.