Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1893-08-19
LITTLE JOHNNY.

"a Iainer ne WdS d-reuin8 Inc foot 70
hiGelf an ol to once he spoke mp md SD
he wuld be dam. Then Uncle Ned hespoke
mp. his own self, an SD, Uncle Ned did,
sRobert, IL you have red that out Of The
Post, must say the press Is done great in
sustiss to by them which says newspapers
Is liar, cos that is fack."
My father he luked like he was astonish,
an he said wot was fack. And Uncle Ned
sed, IVY, that you will be dam"
But my father he spoke up an sed;
'Edard, you make me tireder than days
work. Wot l ment was jug Msckenny
cried when he past the deth sentens on that
gum dasted sailer wich threw the mate
overbord. Now, wot kind Of a man Is that
for to be jugi Wot has he got TO do with
1t, anyhow He seems to think the hangin
is to be done I'm conscience of wot he says
wich amt so, cos IL is In conscience Of wot
the Jury says. Them Is the fellers wich
OF to weep IL 1t is sech terrible thing for
TO hang a cuss like that. Wot els could
Jug Mackenny do but to pas sentens wen
the jury had sed the prisner done itf"
Then my father he turned an looked at
me and rose up his four fingers and whig-
gled it an sed: johnny, listen to yure fa-
ther and be wise, dwell up on his words and
know the truth. Them wich isent allowed
no discreshion hasent got no responchabil-
ity. jug Mackenny hasent got no more to
do with that hangin than the feller will
have wich springs the trap. Then wot right
had he got for to dress hisself oil In black
an stan up there and snottle Just like he
was the hero Of the piecsf"
Uncle Ned, witch hadent said nothing for
long time, cos wen my father is took that
way he wants to be let do all the tolkin, be
sed, Uncle Ned did: "That remines me of
little story. One time wen l was a jug
back In old Missoury u murder feller was
foun gilty, and when / come to pass the
sentence onto him I busted into teers.
Then the murder feller he turned to the
oddiants and sed, 'Feller citizens. IL any of
you wicb has come In late has got the i'm
preshion from that chaps manner that it's
him wich is to swing for murder, hope
you will do me the jestice to observ that ID
amt So He is Jim doodled imposteA and
wudent hurt rabbit
"That made me jest furious, and stopped
cryin an sed, John Spinla you infernle
wrascle, sentence you to be hung by the
neck till you are as dead as Adam, an as
for God havin mercy on yure scalliwag
soul, that's Jest as he pleeses."
But my sisters yung man, he says he
gesses IL Uncle Ned was ever on the bench
It was at a dog sho. My sisters yung man
has got black hair, but hern Is brown, an
wen hern is against hisen, you see the diff
ference. but you got to be quick about IL.
My father he said other time:
"Wot's oil this rot in the papers about the
Duke of New York marryin that Teck girlf
There's 10 columns about that, and wen the
Squedunk Sampson carrys OK ol round
the ring on the spine of his back kbone these
III Il . ill L. Nx.~<% he
wude think that for prince and prin-
cess to get marrid was the most difficult feet
wich coud be undertook"
Uncle Ned he sed:
ut isent the difficulty of it, cos walkina
wire acros Niagry falls beats it In that re-
speck, but wot makes 1t interestin is, meb-
by, the great PERIL"
Then my mother she spoke up and sed,
my mother did
"You OF both to be ashland OF yureselfs
to tolk like seeh fools wen you kno nifty
we'll that the papers make 80 much Of it
becos of the exolted rank of the bride and
groom"
Ny father he busted out an sed:
"Exolted rank be blodel line speakin
of the papers rite here in republican Amer
lea, where them kids haven't any rank az
OIL"
Uncle Ned he looked real sollem out Of
both of his eyes, an bime by he sed:
zone time wen wasin Bomgomba II was
given out that the city was to have a Witt
from the queen of Ngwumwum, wich is the
only place In the world where frogs has
wings. So the mayor of Bomgomba, who
ode his position to his skill in throing live
cats thrugh horse golfers without tutching,
he rwote out a long speetch Of welcum for
to read at her. The speetch it was dazy,
and 1t was arranged by the town council
that after it was spoke 1t was to be rwote
In letters of gold ol over the front Of the
temple, and tot in the publick skhools, and
sang for ever in the wurship of Glubdoo,
the god of rats
$50 wen the day come, and the queen Of
Ngwumwum arrived, the mayor was on
hand in front of the temple with his speech.
Ol the rest of the peoples thay stood along
the sides of the streets with their tungs out,
wich is a token Of respeck, and wen the
queen was drove up an set before the mayor
he begun for to read"
Wen Uncle Neds story had got that far
my father he said:
"Wot the American people need is phiz-
ick. Thay are sick, that's It. IL thay was
give the right kind Of medicine thay wudent
do sech things. Educashion wont do them
no good AS long as thay have got bad liv-
ers, wich comes of eaten pie and fried meat
You can't make feller respeckt hisself
wich has yello liver, and its the fried
meat and the pies wich makes 1t that way
Let me make nashions medcin an care
not who makes them take 1t. Sho me
man with a red liver and plenty of blu
mass In his pocket, an lie show you a pa
triot wich makes tirany tremble"
Uncle Ned he said:
"The speech 1t was pretty long and the
mayor he read on an on an On oil the after
noon, and the peoples KEEP their tungs a
hangin out of their mowths to sho that they
wudent think Of sayin anything in the
presents of roilty. Just as the sun went
down the mayor he finished off with gloin
periorashion, an stood silent in noble an
strikin attitude of blended dignity an grace.
The queen she dident say anything. Bime
by the queens priminister he tapt the may
or on the sholder from behine and said in
his ear, Her majesty would be pleased to
reply, but unphortunately she is dunn
"The mayor he was astonish, but he said,
'Mebby her majesty will xpress her sense Of
things In writing
"The priminister he said, That would |
aford her CRATE pleshure. but by misteri-
Gus deere Of Profdence her majesty Is par
allied
.'The mayor was real sorry, he said, but |
peraps her majesty had some other way for |