The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1893-01-27
ETIQUETTE OF CARDS.
Rules For Using Them AS
Laid Down By an
Authority.
MANY gu EsTIuNs ANSWERED.
The Habit of Folding Cards Is 0bso-
lete-When Calling on
Visitors.

The profound remark is made by
the author in a book on etiquette,
arranged by Agnes NJ. Morton and
published recently by the Penn Pub
fishing Company of Philadelphia,
manners and morals are twin shoots
from the same ro OF. The essentially
weltbred oman is he whose manners
are the polite expression OF moral
principle, magnanimity and benevol-
ence." Miss Morton introduces the
subject to her readers with a chapter
on the ethics of etiquette, and then
takes up the department of visiting
cards. She says the rules guiding the
use of visiting cards are based on the
idea of representation. The deputy
is on duty only in the absence OF his
superior, so the card is superfiuous
when the owner is himself present
which must be taken with an excep-
cards must be left at anafternoon tea,
and also upon making calls.
In this little book full directions are
given do W IL ctJlC vi 0o3 COCs, "
both men and IL Also full
directions for the use of cards are
given. Cards may be sent by mes
card leaving is not imperative. A wife
may leave her husbands card when
he can not call in person. The per-
mission to leave cards by proxy is
often abused by selfish and indolent
men, but the social advantage which
it gives to a large class of men who
are neither selfish nor INDECENT more
than counterbalances any disadvan-
tages. Some other card rules noted
in this book are-When anyone in
vited TO a church wedding cannot at
tend, it is proper to send on the day
of the marriage a card or cards to
those who issue the invitations; one
card if one parent or guardian invites.
If the names of both parents appear on
the invitation a card is sent to each,
enclosed in an envelope and addressed
to both. Ii the invited guest attends
the wedding, he leaves or sends cards
within a week similarly addressed.
A personal call is allowable only on
intimate acquaintances.
CARDS OF C~ONDoLEECE.
Cards of coincidence are left as soon
as possible after learning of the af1ic-
ton. If in town, cards are left in per-
son or by a messenger with a message.
Ii out of town, a card is sem by the
first post. Nothing is written upon
these cards. A visiting card, with
congratulations" written upon it, is
sent to felicitate a friend upon any
happy event in which friends may
sympathiZe. Such cards are sent by
messenger or post. Ii a card is left in
person, with a friendly message,
nothing is written on the card. When
a man calls to see his hostess, but not
the host, he should leave a card for
the other. If the hostess is not at
home, two cards should be left.
A visiting card is used in sending
informal invitations to a tea or after
noon reception. The card of the
hostess is used, and in addition
to the name, the date and the hour
of the occasion are written in
t .e lower left corner. In this infor-
III Il invitation the numbers are indi-
Gated by figures. This card is accept
Ell 10y the recipient as equivalent to a
call paid by the sender, and they re-
spond at the time Indicated, leaving
cards with the servant as they enter,
and on their departure leaving cards
of such male members of their respec-
tive families as have been invited but
are unable to attend. II any one in
vited cannot be represented by a
proxy" card, a card must be sent by
post or messenger on receiving day.
WHEN VISITING VISITORS.
When a man calls upon a woman
while she is the guest of a family with
whom he is not acquainted, he in
quires for both his friend and her
hostess, and sends up a card for each.
If the hostess receives him on this oc-
casion, but extends no further hospi-
tally, he has no claim upon
her recognition beyond the hour.
If the hostess subsequently
offers him any hospitality dur
ing the time his friend is her
guest, he must call upon her. II he
defers this until after his friends de-
parture he must leave a card, without
intruding a personal call. unless he
has been distinctivelY invited to con-
tInue the acquaintance. If the man
does not wish to continue the ac-
quaintance with his friends hostess
after she has offered him hospitality,
he must at least call and leave a card
for her. This is obligatory. Miss
Morton says it is only people who
cling to old-fashioned customs
who still fold over the right side
of a visiting card to show that
the card was left in person, and also
fold over the left side to show the call
was meant for all the women of the
household. This custom is practic-
ally obsolete" Another fashion that
has had its day is that of leaving a
separate card for each of the women
of the household. Now one card
answers the purpose; the inquiry ac-
companying it indicates whether the
call was intended for one or more. In
case a guest of the household is in
cluded, a separate card is left for her.
Unhappy Rich Maidens.
Worse off than the match girls or
even the omnibus men of London, are.
the unmarried daughters of the rich
people living in the London suburbs.
Without a vocation in life, devoid of
aim or object in existence, there are
no greater sufferers writes Mrs.
Arnold White) than the daughters of
the middle class who are too we'll off
to work, too idle to excel in art or in
music, and too selfish to take in hand
the welfare of their poorer fellow
subjects, and to share with them the
MOOD tbiuoc thav aninv in sunar-