Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1893-12-07
LOVE MEASURING.

There were tears in the eyes ,of John Ton
SON Opposite to him sat a young girl, also
crving-a girl with no more beauty than
comes from youth, good hesrt and not eN-
travagantly i'll shaped featurcs-a kind of
staple diet girl unlikely to attract con
noisseur.
at was his fault. He thought he loved
me. and It's my fault that, having such Il
start. did not make him love me-"
"Thc fellow ought to hare known his
feelings before he proposed-a gentleman
would
you've no right to say he's not a gem
tleman, and you shan't. How could he
tcll2 How can any one know without test
Ing? On, You men OF science are so sillyr'
As she spoke she got up hastily, knock
ing down with her skirts the elaborate
model of an apparatus for transmitting
photographs by electricity Flow could
he know What's the use Of all your ma
chimes? Do you thinl; they make people
happier? How could he know? Why don't
you-why dont you make machine in
vent something to find cut whether people
are in love? That would he worth doing.
That would prevent all this sort of thing.
But il : just like you, 90 inyeuting things
that don't make any one wiser or happier
or better and never think of important
matters. ] don't believe you ever were in
love"
That night John Tonson sat mp late, late
even for him, but his unfinished apparatus
for creating darkness-nOt by excluding
but by actually negativing light-failed to
occupy his thoughts. Time after time he
walk ed up and down the crowded idy
laboratory, asking himself, Can love be
measured-is an erotometer posSible?" Vi
sions crossed his mind of a machine which
would revolutionize the world, which
would make marriage a real union of
hearts and reduce the operation of the
divorce court to a mere physical test
WHAT is lOve?' was the question which
the simple sayant then set himself to an
rwer For months the laboratory was de
serted, and he passed his time at the Brit
ish museum consulting novelists and poets,
for he deemed them to be experts in the
matter What is the use of a display of
dictionary learning, of naming the rare
books that he read rs well as the common
ones? Why should one copy out lists Of i'll
and well known authors? Why not pass
them by and say frankly that he read them
diligently, and that the knowledge he
gained was III almost inverse proportion 10
his labors? However, one book must be
named, since it influenced him greatly
Durton's "Anatomy of Melancholy" in
its strange, horrible chapters OH Love Mel
ancholy," set him ON the track of a theory
which has little novelty and indisputable
truth Love is a disease and has bodily as
we'll as mental symptoms. Adopting this
as working theory, he began to experiment.
To describe his futile experiments would
be foolish. In the one direction whore hope
lay-the dissection of those who have conf
United suicide for love-few as We're his
chances, he made an important discovery
There is love bacillus. One catches love
as one catches the influenza, and one gets
over the attack, TOO, but in proportion to
its severity and the importance of the
sequeiH. Those who catch it badly never
get over the elfects-so much the better for
them-sometmcs. OF the question of re-
captivity of subject and object this is hard
]y the place for discussion, but it may be
mentioned that he sent a scientific paper
on the subject to The Lancet which, 10
doubt, will be published in due course.
Having arrived at this stage, it was not
long before J ohm Tonson had worked out
the question. Nodoubt it is needless to tell
the present learned generation how the
breath acts as "A kind of scavenger, but our
dear parents Of course were quite ignorant
Of physiology, so a few words Of eXplana-
tion must he given TO them. We will eX-
tract a passage from a novel lately pub
lsbed called "A Freal; of Fate" of which
we have a very jiattering opinion:
"Ihe brilliant red blood starts from the
heart laden with life bestowing oxygen
As it passes III the arteries through the
body, the oxygen is separated from the
blood and detained while carbonic acid ga,
and other matter (products of a suppositi
tious combustion) take its place. At last
the impoverished, darkened, poisoned blood
for Carb0nic acid gas is a poison enters
the venOus system and is carried around tC
the lungs. Then the air drawn into the
lungs exchanges part Of its oxygen for the
carhOnic acid gas and other deletcrious
matter connected in the arteries, and til,
blood, purified, inyigorated and restored t.
its brilliant ruddy hue, sets off again on it:
vital mission
From this it can he seen that the nj,
brcathed forth not only carries with it tht
carbonc acid gas but also the bacilii de
stroyed in the arterial conclusions. Con
sequcntly an analysis Of the breath will
show the nature Of the bacillus, and I'll,
quantity Of the dead bacilli will indicate
the intensity of the disease Tonson, afte
q long series of experiments, found that
diaphragm Of fine goldbeater'A skin dippe,
in orthrophoitesy cho phanto-dik o-talaepor
otto acid is very sensitive TO the "pacillu
amoris," the contact causing heat, From
this TO the construction OF Il machine was
mere matter Of ingenuity.
One or two difficulties he had to cOnten,
with. When the breath is affected with &c
bacco, it, action on the skin diaphragm !
to great extent neutralized, while onion
and peppermint quite destroy it. On tn
other hand it Is greatly intensified by wine
spirits and scent These difficulties Ii
uvercamc b. certain receives carboli
acid for one class and carbonate of soda TO
the otLer.
At last tie machine was perfect, It's &C
ton was very simple. You repeated sicutl
the phrase, Il love Amanda" or Jane,
rs the case might be, 80 times, thinking in
tenSely Of the person all the time and sic ;
ping the chEAJ CHS was To cause increase
heart action or artcrial combustion), the
you put a penny i'll II slot (merely to IT
move Il shutter and benefit the Inventor