Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1893-04-15
SMITHS MAGAZINE. .
Great Scheme with Promising Out.
look.

Great Scheme with q Promising Out
The drummer was talkf TO two
DR. three reporters
81 met an old fellow the other day. >
he said, ''that had a scheme of inter
EST to you newspaper chappies"
Naturally, they asked him to put
them on.
IAN old fellow" he continued,
'got to talking to me about news
papers. He said his name was Johu
Smith of Smithville, Smith County,
Tennessee, and that he had originally
come from Michigan and was then on
a visit among his relatives in various
parts of the State. and also to look
up members of the Smith family and
name.
81 have made money he said,
half million or more, and I'm going
TO spend a part of it in establishing a
monthly periodical to be called
Smiths Magazine, to which nobody
shall become a subscriber unless he
bears the name Of Smith. Plain
Smith, too; none of your Smyths or
Smythes, or Smithes. or Schmids. or
anything like Them
Great Scott, man, said ], give
ne the money. What do you want to
throw it away for? The Smiths are
not numerous enough to keep you
going
Amt they?' he said, with lit
lie sheer. well, let me tell you
there is hardly a State in the Union
that hasn't a postoffice with the name
Smith in it somewhere, and there are
|, 500 postmasters and postoffice en-
ployes named Smith. Illinois has,
for instance, a Smithfeld, Smith
dale, a Smithboro, a Smithshire, a
Smithton, and a Smithville. Then
there are Smiths Creeks, Smiths
Fords, Smiths Ferrys, SmIJh's mills,
Smith groves, Smiths valleys,
Smiths cross roads Smiths lakes,
Smith landings, Smiths corners.
Smiths Rivers, Smiths flats, Smiths
ranches, Smithburgs. Smiths basins,
Smithtowns, Smiths branches,
Smiths roads, Smiths forks. Smith
points, and down in South Carolina
Smiths Turnout, all postotfices, too,
from Maine to California, and the
Lord only knows how many Smith
places there are that are not post
offices, mine, for instance. In Mich
igan, there is Smith in st. CLAIR
County, and one in Saginaw; a
Smiths corners in Sanilac and in
Oceana Counties; then there are
Smiths Creek, two Smiths Cross
ings, Smiths Siding and SmithvilIe,
four of them pOStOifices. Two Smiths
in Michigan are pOstmasters, and
among business men there are about
a hundred in Detroit in business;
twenty-five in Grand Rapids; twenty
two in the two Saginaws, to only
seven in the two Bay Cities; Lansing
has four, Kalamazoo eight, Ypsilanti
six, Adrian seven, and so on down to
Adair, small town of 80 or 70 peo-
ple where there is one. These are
the figures of two years ago, and, of
course, they have increased, because
the Smiths are prolific and progress
i've / believe l am safe in saying
there are upwards of $4,000 Smiths
in the State of Michigan alone. In
other States they are proportionately
as numerous, and you can readily see
what contingent l have to draw
from, not counting the family pride.
Why, sir, In the national capital, a
city of ESQ, 900 people, there are over
l, 200 Smiths, Smith ratio of one to
every 200, not counting the children.
And children, sir, are features of the
Smith family"
The drummer paused a moment.
swell, boys" he resumed, "that
wasn't one-quarter of it. He had
Smith statistics till you couldn't
think, and when he finally had to
stop to rest his chin, I wanted to
take several shares in his magazine,
but I'll be blamed if he'd let me have
it at any price. Now, what have you
to say to that?"
Its Smithical," .Diped a small re-
porter for an obscure sheet around
the corner, and the drummer threw a
cigar butt at him. Free Press.