The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1893-06-28
ARP'S NEARLY DEAF,
Some Good Jokes on the Deaf-Old Man
"Hasty'' and His Ready Kesponses-
Rev. Mr.. Braham is Introduced
to Captain Howell, Etc.
Atlanta Constitution

| Olu l1lau 11aSLy " as Ot6l-fe1y OSdl.
BE WAS nabor Of mine when We lived
in the country, and he hauled load of
wood to town every day to sell. He
was poor and old, but he never COM
planned. The town boys used to poke
fun at him, but he never got mad.
"Good morning, Mr.. Hasty," they
would say. "Seventy-five cents" he
replied. How does your corporosity
sagatiate?" Won't take cent less,"
he said. The boys would laugh, and
the old man would smile and drive on.
"Wo, wo,' said the boys to the steers,
and they would stop again. "Git up
Dick, git along, Brindle, you old lazy
rascals; every time you git to town you
want to stop every half minute. Git
up, I tell you," and he frailed them
with his thrash pole. About the time
they were fairly started, the boys said
"wo" again, and the old man had to
lick them again, but he never got
mad.
I was Illuminating about this, for I
hm deaf myself, now, and begun to
realize its inconvenience. For several
years I have been deaf in one ear, but
I didn't mind it, for the other was
good. The only trouble was that while
I could hear perfectly we'll couldn't
locate distant sounds with much preci-
sion. I couldn't tell what church bell
was ringing or which way the train
was coming, or whether the mocking
bird was singing in this tree or that
tree, but got along very well and
could always hear Mrs. Arp when she
told me what she wanted. There was
some good in having but one good ear
/ in mosquito time, for I.could just turn
that ear down close on the pillow and
the little varmint might sing away all
night in the other if he wanted to.
My head trouble has all settled in
my good ear now, and I reckon it will
90 out at that oriice and leave me
after while, but have sufered-yes,
suffered-like a poor sinner ought to
suffer, and the whole family has to fly
round and wait on me when these
paroxysms come on. My ear is nearly
closed up now and Pm waiting for it
to burst or do something. Mrs. Arp
tries to amuse me and some times says,
"Good morning Mr.. Hasty," and.I
always respond, "Seventy-fve cents"
The other day I met my old friend,
Rev. Rich Branham, in Atlanta. He
is very deaf, and while we were talking
secrets on the edge Of the sidewalk
Evan Howell came swelling along
with his corporosity and stopped to
shake hands. "Mr. Branham you know
Colonel Howell" said in gentle
whisper that attracted attention across
the street. "Colonel Towers
Colonel Towers, I am pleased"
"Howell, of The Constitution" said
Evan, screaming in his ear. THANK
you," said Branham,. my constitution
has given away very much within the
last" This is Evan Howell, Of The
Atlanta Constitution" said I. "Oh,
yes; yes, see; yes, I understand. I
used to know him very we'll, but he
quit knowing me and so I quit. know
| ing him. He is running great political
newspaper, and am running a great
religious newspaper. He thinks. he is
doing big thing, but know that I
am. The Christian Index is a power
for good. The constitution is power,
too, but whether it il for good or not I
can't say" And they laughed and en-
joyed each others wit and humor and
so did I.
rve been helping out deaf people all
my life; that is, I have been giving
them some of my time, for they don't
have much pleasure 10 a social way.
and always pleases them to be noticed.
A deaf man feels very much like he is
outside of society. The world has gone
off and left him. My folks were telling
something at the table to-day that was
very funny, and the laugh went merri-
ly around and I laughed, too, but 1
never heard a word. But whenever I
make a misfit answer to my wife she
elevates her voice and says, GOOD
morning Mr.. Hasty." "Seventy.five
cents" says I. And I hear her say
some other things. too, ever and anon.
She told me this morning that she had
a new moon vine she wanted ME to
plant out for her if felt like it. ut
changed yesterday" said I. awe had
new moon last night" And looked
solemn and sad and put my hand up
to my ear after the position of deaf
folks. There is no lodging her that
way. She went and got little pot and
pointed to the ground and / went and
got the hoe and planted the vine, and
she smiled at me and said: "Good
morning, Mr.. Hasty," "Seventy-fve
cents" said I. Yesterday she said she
reckoned she would have to get Mrs.
Roberts to make up that last dress I
bought her if 1 could spare the money.
I got glimmering idea of her remark
and nodded assent, for wouldn't give
her q nice dress and not pay for the
making. I am not that kind of e man.
The girls make up all their dresses but
my wife shall not make hers any more
so long as I live. She has worked
enough. Haven't forgotten the beau
tiful plated bosom shirts she used to
make for me before there was ever a
sewing machine in the world. haven't
forgotten the hundreds and hundreds
Of little garments she made for the
children. I haven't forgotten the les
sons that she taught them by night and