The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1893-08-03
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-"Figgs-"Do you think peanuts
healthful?' Fogg-"Yes, indeed; very
fattening. Look at the policemen."-
Boston Transcript.
why do you think Mrs. Timpson
is not going away?" She-''Pooh, didn't
l see her pack all the things she would
need right in the top of the trunk
Inter Ocean.
-Teacher-''Do peas grow on vines
or on bushes?' Pupil (whose father
keeps summer boarding-house)-
"They comes in cans."-Boston Tran
script.
Use Fish Liver Oil ''-Pinxit--
"And what's D'Auber doing this sea-
SOM" Stipple-''Painting in the Cats
kills, believe" Pinxit-"H Humph! On
the Catskills, more likely. Puck.
A Cool oposition,-She-''I want
twenty-five dollars to buy Japanese
fam" He-''O, get one of those five
cent ones. 1t is easier to raise the
wind at that price. Texas Siftings.
Bob trying to grow a mustache)-
81 say, Tom, does it show at all?"
Tom (seriously)-''Well, yes, little;
but never mind. l don't think anybody
will notice t.''-Washington News.
You're wrong in thinking Bigtalk
a coward. Nothing can scare him"
That's what | said. I've seen him get
frightened at shadow. Troy Press.
lis SpoOney apt to marry that pret-
ty girl at the cravat counter?' Il
think he would if he felt that she could
break herself of the habit of calling for
cash. '"-Philadelph Record.
You made mistake in calling
that drama of yours a play without a
hero" ''Why? 1t hasn't any heroes"
cts chock-full of them. Every man
who braves an audience in play like
that is a hero. ."-Harpers Bazaar.
-Security.-''Are you afraid of burg
lars?" said the lady who was making
short visit. Not since our new girl
came. The policeman spends most of
his time at our house now. ashing-
ton Star.
-She-''Mr Sinnox, you ought to be
ashamed to say 50 many mean things
about us women. I cannot imagine
where you get your IDEAS" He-''From
other women 1ostly."-Indianap
Journal
20, dearest, did you bring the at
tachment for my diamond locket?"
''Well, no, precious. Don't be alarmed,
though; the sheriff may bring One.''-
N. Y. Ledger
-Adams-"There are some things
cheap in New York. You can ride in
an open car from Harlem to the Battery
for a nickel" Burns-Yes. pneumonia
and nine-mile ride are cheap for a
nicllel.-Texas Siftings.
Her Brother-''Why did you persist
in using French at the reception last
night? You bungled the language so
frightfully that no one understood
what you said" Miss Budd-''Indeed?
l did, every word of it."-Buffalo
Courier.
"A Boon to Mankind,-Dealer-
This is the finest boat in the mar
ket." CustOmer-''What are its special
features?" Dealer-'It has seats with
powerful springs under them, that can
be touched off by pressing button,
and made to hoist out any fool that
tries to rock the boat" Custom err
Name your own price. Puck.
The Chance of His Lif,.-Mr. Hen
peck-"My life is miserable Friend
-'What's the ma .ter?" Mr.. Henpeck
20, my wife is always faring up at
something, and now she is Jealous of
my typewriter" F.-'Jealous of your
typewriter? Good! This is the chance
of your life" Mr.. H.-''How?" F.
discharge your typewriter and let
your wife take her place, and then you
will be able to do something you've
never done before in your life" Mr..
H.-''What is that?" F.-''Dictate to
your wife. IN. Y. Press.