Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1893-11-17
WHOLE NUMBER 1.768.
WIT AND HUMOR.

Angry Customer-"The eggs VOC
sold me are stale. Your placard says:
"A lot of fresh eggs" Grocer-''No II
doesn't. 1t reads: "A fresh lot O!
eggs They came in yesterday
Epoch.
Coal Operator (despondently) -"l
wish way could be found to relieve
the glut in the coal market" Con.
sumer (contidentially)-"Tell the deal.
ers to give better weight" - N. y
Weekly.
Sunday-school What is il
that stingeth like an adder?" Little
Tommy (who remembered wood.
house experience)-'I guess it's the
snapper on dads whip."-Richnsond
Recorder.
Grumpy "Pshaw! Women can
never keep secret" Mrs. Grumpy
Cant, eh? Perhaps l haven't guard.
ed the secret that the wedding ring
you gave me was plated?"-La,0rence
american.
Minister-'I think delivered very
touching sermon to-day. Don't you
think I moved the Congregation"
Deacon--"I know you did. 1 saw a
good many get up and 60 out. ."-Bos-
ton Herald.
Bagley-"Have you recovered from
your recent sickness, Bailey?" Bailey
No, not fully" Bagley - why.
you look as we'll as ever" Bailey
Yes, but owe the doctor SIS yet.
N Y. Ledger.
This talking all night on the sleep.
ins-car is a shame" said the Rev. Mr..
Bolus. Nobody can get to Sleep
Just you talk little, john" said his
wife. They'll all 60 to sleep right
of."-N Y. Sun.
Here. waiter. is a dollar for tip.
I've just been looking over the bill Of
fare. Now. tell me honest, what yor
can recommend?" Waiter Tin a hoarse
whisper)-"Go to some other restau.
rant. ."-Fliegende Blatter.
Minnie-"What are the people OF
your church going do with that 1928
they made from the grab-bag?" Ma.
mie-'We are thinking of using it to
break up the sale of Louisiana lottery
tickets here. ."-1erre Haute Express.
She-'Queer that so handsome .
man as Byron should have been so tai.
ented." He-"O. Miss Nixon! Surely
you don't deny that brains and great
beauty often 60 together. I'm far
from fool, l assure you."-Chastcr.
Skribler-"Aren't you afraid that
last novel of yours is a little too broad.
as it were? / should think it would
be deba.red from the mails" De Ruy.
ter-''That style of novel is not writ
ten for the males. ."-Icrre Haute Ell
press.
Miss B.-"And you have just re.
turned from Verona. Did you enjoy
your winter therep" Miss S. with
emphasis)-''No; it's a perfectly stupid
old place. Really don't believe there
were ever two gentlemen in Veronar'
-Chautaugan.
Miss Fiancee-"Do you get any
time to practice now, Lena7" Mrs.
Younghusbaud-"O. yes, plenty of it. ="
Miss Fiancee-"Indeed! I am sur
prised. What are you practicingP"
Mrs. Younghusband-'Strict econo-
my."-Burltngton Free Press.
Nov. doctor, how long do you
think it will take me to get wella"
Hum. let me see; you will be able to
be around again in a couple of weeks. "
And then you will send around your
bill?" Yes" "And how much long
er after Washington Post.
Billy and Johnny mere playing pitch
and toss with lemon over a cistern.
What are you doing. boys" asked
the minister. MAXIM Sunday-school
lemonade. said Billy. And beth boys
laughed 50 heartily that they got no
merit cards for . month"; Y Sun.
Mrs. De Firm-'.I tremble to think
Of our daughter marrying that young
man. Why. he orders his mother and
sister around as il they we're slaves"
Mr.. De Firm-"Don't worry, my dear.
He won't order our daughter around
more than once. She takes after you"
IN Y. Weekly.