The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1893-08-24
NUMEROUS INTERESTING OCCURRENCES.
Wise and witty Things Moro or
Less Edtfying.


In front of Mr.. Malloy's feed store
stands baby carriage which bears this
sign For Sale-Have gone out Of bust
ness" That dodge won't work, Malloy.
We've tried it several times and had to
buy a new carriage every time.--iSuperior
Times.
An Oregon girl in applying for gov
eminent job states that she is twenty
four years old and weighs 472 pounds.
We hope she will not be appointed. She
undoubtedly would fill any Office to which
she might be appointed, but she already
holds fat position. WaHa Valid States
man.
A Moscow Chinaman was overheard
speaking to himself as be ironed shirt.
Picks up one showing evidence of having
been well cared for, and says: Bachelor.
Him lan'lady fix him." Picks up an
other, buttonless and all frayed at the
wrists and neck, and says, "Mallicd
man. "--A osco,r idaho Democrat
lasending out news Of an exceedingly
brutal murder, together with TIE TACT shSt-
posse carrying a rope IS in pursuit If
the murderer, a correspondent Invariably
adds that If caught the man is likely to
be roughly handled. Nobody would sup
pose that the purpose Of the mob was to
present written testimonial OF esteem
and bouquet. Moscow Idaho Demo
crdt,
That incorigible Davini The other
day he was counsel in an appeal case in
which the legal definition OF an Indian
was involved, the dispute being over
half-breed. Said Mr.. DAWN: 81 appre-
bend Indian blood means Indian blood
AS port wine would mean port wine, or
claret, claret, or whiskey, whiskey.''
One Of the judges interposed: "But sup
pose wbiskey is mixed with water-made
punch of--would not the mixture be
whiskey?" To which Mr.. DAWN replied
II think it would be whiskey water; but
that is subject on which bow entirely
to the superior experience OF the court
Winnipeg Free Press.
Down in South Minneapolis there is a
barber named Hans. The other day be
found himself the victim of financial de-
preston and seemed on the eve OF crisis.
He was able, however, to borrow two
dollars from his friend, the shoemaker.
and with this financial assistance he It'd
ed over his difficulties. His gratitude to
his friend, the shoemaker, knew no
bounds. and he was scarce able to find
words in which to express bis obligation.
"Johan," he cried, ooh mein Johan, il
ever your friends desert you, if ever your
fader and moder die, il ever you are
hungry or haven't anything to wear, yust
come to me, Johan, und will shave you
for nothing. "-Minneapotis Tribune
A Crookston man tells the following:
"a few years ago an old farmer living
not far from here suffered the loss OF his
wife, most amiable and respectable
woman. Notwithstanding the age Of the
widower, who was about 20, he married
a young and giddy girl about two months
later. The neighbors, all of whom had
great respect for mis- departed better half,
became very indignant. So the night Of
the wedding festivities they gathered
from all points-men, women and chill
dren-about one hundred in number.
They carried tin pans, tin kettles and
at nine O'Clock there commenced such a
din as never was heard before. The old
man stood it as long as possible, but
finally he threw open the door and said,
4 should think YOU folks would not make
such racket around here so soon after
there has been funeral Red Lake
Falls (Minn.) Gazette