St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-08-05
TIE GUEST FROM GRASS CENTER
Things Are Different Down There, and II
Troubled Abner HaNea.

Things Are Different Down There, and II
Troubled Abner Hawes.
There was a commotion of somewhat
peculiar nature ON Union square Satur-
day. The inevitable bIuecoat was in the
| midst of the crowd, and two individuals
were gesticulating before him. One was
the Italian bootblack, and the other was q
cadaverous old man in very shiny suit of
| black.
Its a swindlel', shouted the old man
vigorously Folks warned me about this
down to Grass Center, Ia, where come
from. / amt been in New York two
hours, an you fellers is tryin to swindle me
already. / KEN up Broadway for mile an
a half, an by the time got here Twas tired.
seen cheer standin by the corner, an i
says to myself, Folks up here is ahead of
Grass Center in some ways anyhow, /
thought the cheer was pat there fer tired
folks like me, but it was regular trap
While | was sittin there, feller came
along, busted off my boots an begun to rub
one of them city shines on 'ena. Down our
way we just grease EN-, but / know all
about your city shines I told the feIler, |
says, Now amt askin you for this an If
you want pay for it you don't get it.
But he only looks up an grins at me an
keeps right on. Now, got one of them
durn shines on my boots, spoilin the leath-
er, an he wants pay. But he can't beat me-
I'm Abner Hawes, am, from Grass Cen
ter, an my names stitched i'll on my hat
band -
After some moments of argument and
persuasion, the matter was finally adjusted
to the satisfaction of all parties but Abner
Ha.x- Ia fol fy.,1 off.
ing to himself, and an interested spectator
followed him as, after gazing at the large
glass windows. he cautiously entered a
restaurant.
He had not proceeded more than dozen
steps when he stopped The large mirrors
on either hand and the inIaid ceilings vis-
IDLY impressed him. Abner stuck ont three
long inches of a very red tongue in an en-
barrassed manner, turned about and at
tempted to retreat But it was too late.
An attendant had already pounced upon
him. Is there anything you wishs'' he
asked. Guess you are too high for me,''
returned Abner modestly This is one of
the cheapest places in the city, insisted
the attendant.
Kin you give me what wantsn
What do you want?'
Corn beef an cabbage
"Any hour of the day.
Ten minutes later Abner sat at long
table discontentedIy eying the very small
portion of the delectable dish before him
It was busy time of day A man occupied
chair beside Abner. and Abner observed
him with suspicion Another patron en-
tered and seized upon a chair on the other
side of him Abner grew uneasy. The
man to his right reached out hand for a
bottle of sauce Theone to his left extend
ed his hand for the salt that stood before
the stranger. It was too much mo grab
bin herep' shouted Abner. giving each of
his neighbors violent push that almost
unseated them. The man from Grass Cen
ter then encircled the dishes before him
protectingly with his long arms
When Abner left the restaurant, he walk.
ed with a peculiar Looping gait that was not
well adapted to crowded thoroughfare
He stepped on lady's train, and she be
slowed withering glance upon him. This
caused him to make some uncomplimen
tary remarks about the ladies OF New York.
Ell the women didn't like his looks, they
needn't look at him" )" he observed
At length the man from Iowa encounter
ed something that readily aroused his in
terest and admiration. It was the working
model of the well known meek little old man
who stands on Fourteenth street. He has
a glass case on tripod that contains the
presentment of ship on stormy sea-
When he winds it up, the ship rocks up and
down with a jolly motion of distress On
the lower end of the case are inscribed the
words:
''This ship was made by myself, poor
old sailor"
Beneath these words is little slot into
which charitable people may deposit con
tributions to the genius of the designer
The ship caught Abner's fancy. and the
slot caught his eye. After great deal of
fishing he extracted as cent piece from bis
pocket and dropped it into the slot The
poor old sailor rubbed his hands approx
ingly. Abner remained before the case and
eyed the slot with an interested gaze.
When does it come outsn he asked ex-
pectantly. when does what come out?"
returned the meek old man. ''The gum,
cried Abner. ''The stick o. gum that comes
out of tie nickel in-the-slot machines, of
course | promised Mandy I'd bring her
home present from New York, an that's
why dropped in the Nickel
The meek old sailor tried to explain, but
Abner could not contain himself longer. |
"Bunkoedl'' he shouted. 'tBunkoed at last
been expectin it every nifnnit. heard
tell all about you bunko men. Gimme
back all my money, er I'll git the constar
BILE. 2
The man from Iowa grew quite wild
about the matter, and it took a number of
men to hold him.
Il got enough of your town" he cried.
Everything raises my dander here. I'd
git the janders eff staid here a week
Where's the station? | want to git back |
to Grass CenterF'-New York Recorder