Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-07-22
CONGRESSIONAL STORIES.
Sherman Hoar Mistaken for Page and thu
Result.


Sherman Hoar Mistaken for q Page and the
Result.
Dan Quinn In the Kansas City Times.
Sherman Hoar was very young then. Indeed
he is still But year ago he was very young.
It Was also his fate to closely resemble in per-
sonal appearance the chief page on the repub-
lican side Of the House. This similarity came
at last to be the basis Of grief to Sherman
Hoar. 1t was this way:
Congressman. many Of them, have q taste to
be clearly. As an adjunct to the House Is .
lavatory, much like in sort and scheme to the
"wash room" Of a hotel. After some unusually
dirty piece OF legislation members are wont to
20 there to wash their hands and submit their
countenances to the cooling waters of the Po-
tomac, which flow from the faucets. This lava
tory is in care of young colored man. He is
not person OF broad views nor quick intelli-
gence and his speciality Is sleep. The page
aforesaid has q taste for humor. 1t was his joy
to discover the colored young man wrapped in
slumber and overturn his chair or by cuffs and
kicks restore him to indignant wakefulness.
The page always made timely and successful
exit just rs the colQred person became fully
alive. These athletics the page regarded as a
great. continuing zest, as SO, indeed, they were.
One day toward the close Of last session the
page had been uncommonly jocund. Fully u
round dozen of times had the poor colored
person been brought back from peaceful dreams
in the riotous manner described. Nor did he
get q chance to retaliate. The joke was never
on the nimble page once. SO the bedeviled
colored young man was very low spirited.
Just as the House clock pointed to the
wronged Congo came into the wash room
freighted with towels. Could he believe his
ewes? His enemy was there bent above wash
bowl bathing his humorous face. The colored
race is not original. 1t is an imitator. Its
-. 4 n
this occasion the coored young man merely
kicked his foe. but he kicked him with accuracy
and emphasis. He thought OF the wrongs OF
his race and threw his whole soul into it. The
victims head struck the wall with the mslevo-
lent force Of the billy goat in full career. Then
horror. lifted his dripping and astonished face.
1t WAS Sherman Hoar.
Eye witnesses recite that the colored man did
not faint. He probably did not No colored
person ever fsints; that is purely a Caucasian
accomplishment. But he compromised by
turning dingv ecru. Thus it came to pass
that Sherman Hoar's whole record could be
stated. He came to Congress TO be kicked by a
coored janitor theory that he was page.
Such be the mishaps Of greatness.
Ii was a beautiful afternoon. Two Congress
men filled a happy side-bar buggy, the whole
bending its way at a brisk, thirsty trot to that
noted and popular hosiery Of the suburbs, the
Woodlev Inn. One Of the Congressman was
Col John R. Fellows, the other withholds his
name.
As they spurted along level stretch Of couu-
try road they ran upon a native who was very
much dissatisfied with his wife. She did not,
in some Of her domestic economies, altogether
| meet his rigorous views, and he was confding
| his objections to her with no end Of noise and
bitter profanity just our law givers drove up.
| In fact the ugly husband was advising himself
| to whip the offensive lady and betrayed symp-
toms, indeed OF acting on the suggestion.
Col Fellows drew rein and ssernly remon-
| strated with the ugly husband. The ugly hus-
band retorted in a forcible and boundless way.
| He declared it to be immaterial whom he chas-
| tised and offered to whip Col. Fellows in lieu Of
his wife. The other statesman, being a young
athletic six-footer, then assumed the pressure.
He asked the ugly husband-who was not a
giant at all and very much resembled what is
| colloquially termed u sure thing-if he would
permit him to act as a substitute for Col Eel
lows The ugly husband said he would be toe
| happy. Thereupon the member so substituted
| got out Of the buggy and the ugly husband bea,
| him to rags in . moment. His wife. who stayed
| to see the fun, was very much delighted. and q,
| the close kissed the ugly husband and extolled
| his valor. The ugly husband was ugly nc
longer. and he and she went their way rejoicins
in each other and cooing like doves. saw the
| peacemaker afterward and he looked as il he d
fought with dog.