The herald., 1893-10-02
HERE AND THERE.

hear Mr.. Klokke, Of the chamber OF
commerce, is very much distressed
about his pet pumpkin from this semi
tropic land being outweighed by one
from the semi.arctic region of Canada.
The chamber OF commerce people
have read doubtless of the Jumping
Frog of Calavsras, and the important
part that some shot, in the place where
it would do the most good, played in his
jumping contests.
OF course it is not desired to add to
Mr.. Klokke's depression, but | once
heard man who is an officer OF the
chamber of commerce and supposedly
we'll informed, under the mellowing in.
| fiuence OF some of "Billy's" beer, make
some very Suspicious remarks about the
use of shot and big exhibition pump
kins.
He then went go far as to describe
how big pumpkin might be minutely
punctured and its weight materially
increased by introducing through the
puncture large quantity OF bird shot.
| xxx
A local society paper states that
masquerade to be given this evening
has caused q social sensation. The
cause being the inviting OF a very
wealthy young man whose escapades
have brought him an unenviable no.
tofiety.
Without discussing the proper social
status of the young man in question itis
safe to assert that if he was only mod
erately wealthy he would never have
acquired the present opposition to his
social progress.
Fortunately for number OF young
society men hereabouts they are not
conspicuous enough to make their
escapades news" and so they are
easily and with welcome received.
| Wealth has some draw backs it seems,
for it often makes the only distinction
between persons and personages. and
the latter are given notoriety where the
former escape it.
After all, ladies and gentlemen, there
is but one capital sin in society, and
that is stupidity. The others are venial
and are often forgiven or forgotten.
Sometimes censoroiusness and stupid.
ity are synonyms. as
| *x*
J. D. Spinuey of Ventura has false
teeth. This used to be secret, but as
Mr.. Spinney has disclosed the fact him
self on two occasions it might as well be
recorded. w
Mr.. Spinney usually travels between
his home and San Francisco by steamer.
A friend OF his N ct him in the bay city
about month ago iast as he landed,
snd was startled to see terrible change
in him.
"What's the matter, Spin?" he enx-
iously queried.
Mum, mum, mum-bur-rr-mum,"
was The reply.
"What" cried the friend; cant
you talk ?''
Hereupon the usually amiable Spin
ney executed war dance, his mumbles
eonnded profane, and at last he drew
cut q pencil and paper and wrote:
Game up by steamer; eeasick; lost my
teeth overheard; new set tomorrow (;
will cost me $40; damn; goodbye;"
and off he went.
A few days later he was eeen all
smiles. with fine new eet OF teeth. He
was on his way to Los Angeles and was
about to take the steamer again.
Better 90 overland, Spin," remon-
strated his friend; you might lose
those teeth"
But "Spin'' was not afraid. He did
not often get eirls, ind hU ~0ui0 t~lo
chances, 80 ne sailed away.
The friend came down by train and,
having some business at Redepdo, spent
a few DAYS there. The day after MIA az
rival the steamer from San Francisco
was due, and he thought he would sur
prlse Spinney by meeting him., He
coon saw him coming down the gang
plank. and ne was the eape hollow.
checked, tongue-tied Spinney that had
landed from the boat IN San. Francisco
!. "Why, great heavens, Spin, you
, have lost your teeth again. said ths
Los Angeles man. Spinney nodded
{ deisctedly.
"O,d fellow" continued his friend
"ycu had better travel by train aftel
this or else people will suspect tina
: YOU have no teeth, false or real;" ant
: Spinney has taken the advice.s
: x*x
: Mr.. Theodore S. Van Dyke, one OF th
q many former San Diegans now livinl
here, is literary man with keen ey,
to business. When the boom bursted
and money was scarcer than cocktail
70 are in Pasadena, he sat himself dowl
Vt and wrote a novel in which the boor
9 was described in detail. and ever einc
n then financial stringency he's beon a
. unknown condition to him. His booh
~ which wac a good one, sold better tina
p town lots in an 1887 subdivision, and h
\ has corrected the only mistake ne mad
- by coming to this city.
,s x*y
T. On Saturday night Riverside becam
Or q prohibition town. According TO tn
r. law of compensation, Editor Pialste
- ought to get that postoftice nov, sure.