The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-08-02
Sam Jones In Texas:

The Dallas (Tex.) Ne,os tells good
one on Rev. Sam Jones.
Brother Jones is very fond of but
termilk, and in conversation with a re-
porter the other night jocularly re-
marked that he could drink more but
termilk than any one in town. "And
no one" said.he, could send me any
thing that I would appreciate more
than fresh buttermilk.'
The Ne,cs published Rev. Sans
remark, but it seems that the breth-
rem and sisters failed to see the joke,
and took it seriously. The next
morning Brother Jones had not been
out of bed ten minutes before there
was knock at his door and the bell
boy handed him a tin bucket full Of
fresh buttermilk, sent by sister who
had fine Jersey COW. He accepted
it, and turned the bucket up to his
parched lips and took long swig Of
Just then another knock sounded
on the door and the bell boy had
pitcher Of buttermilk sent by sister
who had a Holstein COW. "Hump,"
said Brother Jones, II won't suffer
for buttermilk on my last day in Dal-
las" He resumed reading, and in a few
minutes knock came again, and this
time the bell boy had two half gallons
Of buttermilk, sent by two different
| sisters, and Brother Jones commenced
to smile.
II wonder if somebody ain t. putting
up a joke on me ?" he remarked, as he
left the four vessels of buttermilk and
| went to breakfast and picked a chicken
and drank cup Of coffee. Then he
| hastened back to his room. When he
| arrived at his door there were no less
than three men and two boys. and
each one had buttermilk for him, and
before he could get his door unlocked
two more brethren came, bringing but
termilk.
Brother Jones commenced to grow
restless and was beginning to wonder if
every sister in town had churned the
day before. He lighted his cob pipe
and started to read the morning paper,
when the bell boy informed him that
there were two ladies in the parlor who
wanted to see him. He went down
and, to his horror, each lady had a
pitcher of buttermilk for him, and they
commenced to sing the praises Of their
COWS.
He thanked the two sisters and
started up stairs with the buttermilk
only to find three more brethren, each
with bucket of buttermilk for him,
and by the time he was again set
tied four more arrived, all with butter
milk.
Brother Jones was beginning to look
haggard and distressed and when the
bell boy brought up the card Of call !
er, he shouted, SEQ back. and tell the
gentleman that it is impossible to see
any one, and that furthermore, I've
got buttermilk to float a Trinity river
steamboat" Rev. Sam then picked
up the Necs and read his talk with
| UuG TGpOTGtI dSOu0 spuooSAAA1n'
"That's what's the matter" he said,
throwing the paper to the floor. "That
long-legged, gander-necked, slab-sided
fool Of reporter put that in the, paper
and here they are sending me enough
milk to drown in. >
Then another knock at the door was
answered, and darkey entered with a
gallon pickle bottle full Of fresh but
termilk.
"Get out of here p exclaimed
Brother Jones. "Take that buttermilk .
back and tell them that 1 am sick of
buttermilk, and that I have bathed in
it, and I've got enough to do me ten
years" Then he made a bee line for
the elevator and barely escaped three
more sisters with pals Of milk. .
Next time Brother Jones works OF
a joke in Dallas he will see that it is
accompanied by diagram and the
legend "No Butterwilk Wanted. +"