Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-04-15
PITH AND POINT.
Time locss-gray hair.
A cowcatcher-The lasso.


A cowcatcher-Thela sso.
A chop-house-The wooashed.
But one in a thousand-Tle figure
one.-Harvard Lampoon.
The bad practices of Others give the
lawyer his good one. Truth.
If the tongue could kill, not many
would live to old age. Rams Horn.
The play of Imagination is great
help in the work OF Imagination.
Puck.
Some persons are like the sky; they
never are perfectly tranquil unless tney
are blue.-Puck.
''Now, this is what you call high art, "
said the man who was frescoein5 tae
ceiling. Washington Star.
sis your neuralgia any better, deer2"
"It's worse-I can't even think of my
new dress. "-Forget- Nc Not.
Jealousy is that which makes us in.
sauely think we can secure the object OF
our regard by appearing hatcful.-Puck.
st. Louis has girl phreuologist. Evil
IDENTIFY woman is getting to the head in
the march of progress. Boston Tran
script.
No man can paint sign on fence in
such way that boy cannot change it
to read something else, --Atchison
Globe.
she (yawning)-'T do like young
man with some get up and go abous
him." He gets up and goe'.-Dstroit
Free Press.
Fsed-"How do you like the table at
your new boarding housed Is there ANY,
thing to object to2' Arthnr-''Precious
little, old fellow"
First Stranger-"It seems to me
have seen your face before" Seeon |
Stranger likely. That's wnere
/ carry it."-Tit- Bits.
81 must collect my tlou yhts," he slid,
And she, sarcastic miss
A thimble gave him, with the word,
''Col ect your thoughts in tdis."
Washington Star.
Teacher-"Who was tle person WAC
turned everything he touched to goldi'
Scholar-'I guess it was the man that
makes cheap jewelry. detroit Free
Press.
Influence will make itself felt in poll
tics. Even the humble letter carrier
when he comes to the door shows what
1t is to have pull.-PailadeipAia
Times,
Only one person in thousan dies OF
old age. So it seems that old age is not
80 dangerous as the insurance tables
would have us believe. Boston Tral-
script,
The way in which little things count
looms up lmpressively wnea you Lo.e
how far slight change in the prevail
ing fashion can put your hat out OF style.
Washington Star.
Nanager-"Wnat il the world is all
that racket about out in the bac roo n?'
Helper-''It's time for the fourfooted
girl to come on and she can't find her
other two feet. Truth.
"It's just like fussy old maid, any
way" Mamma-"What's wrong now,
Johnnie?" "Well, teacher told ME not
to speak out loud, and then kept me III
for whispering. "-Iute- Ocean.
DollY-"Oh, mamma, l met Il little
girl to-day who had never heard Of a
cow" pollys Mother - THAT was
strange, wasn't it2 Who was the little
girl, Dolly9" Dolly-"Sae said her
father was a milkmau."-Ljfe's Calea-
dar.
$50 you say Professor Gufin7 ex.
pressed great deal of interest in me,
said Miss Passeigh with little futter.
she seems like very distinguished
man." eyes, replied Miss Clttins,
che is celebrated antiquarian. Wash.
ingtou Star.
The Rev. silas Sophtey-"Ah, Thorn.
as, that man tried to take me in about
that wretched screw of horse; but I'm
not such fool as l look, eh3' Thomas
(the groom)-"Noa, sir, that ye're not"
The Rev. Silas-"Eh, whatl" Thomas
beg pardon, sir, mean ye're hadn't
need to be. p Punch.