Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-05-25
Let Us Laugh.

Let Us Laugh.
A BLANKET trust Is lntimated--at
least Boston sheet so states. Low.
ell Courier.
The military prisoner Is forced To
be guarded In all he says and does -
Troy Press.
THE undergraduate is one who is
trampled to jelly In football rush.
-Plcayune.
IT is doubtful whether a blind man
can possess the prophetic gift; he is
no seer,--Lowell Courier.
"THAT air Is very familiar" said
the musician, as a gust of wind took
his hat away.-Lampoon.
SMATTERs--"Is Miss Doud up TO
the tlmes?" Lumsy-"Oh, yes She
wears French heels. "-Nast's Weekly.
IT'S an open question which is the
more Objectionable, a boisterous girl
or aglrlstrous boy,-Dansville Breeze.
"rM onto your game" as the fly re-
marked when he settled on the
checkerboard. Philadelphia Record.
MEN who never take a stand any
where else frequently have to take
one in a street car.---Detroit Free
Press
EVERY poor poet knows that writ
er's cramp is never so hard to cure as
when it's in the stomach. Bonneville
Journal
TEACHER-"What is arithmetic?"
Ike-"Arithmetic vas the science vlch
teaches us how to compute interest on
money. Life.
ENPEC (sighlng) Things are not
what they used to be in this house. I"
Mrs Enpec-"No; even you have
greatly changed. Truth.
FANGLE-"A man is not necessar.
lily hoor-walker because he walks
the floor" Gunso--"That's so. He
may be parent. Vogue.
WILLIs-"Does Rollins board?"
Wallace-"I suppose not. To-day he
was telling me about burning his
mouth drinking coffee, "-Quips.
A MAN should not imagine be-
cause a girl Of l6 laughs at his jokes
that he is a great wit; a girl of 16
laughs because she is 16.-Atchison
Globe.
Mrs. WABAsH-"How did you come
to marry your divorced husband,
Helen?" Mrs. Lakeside-"It was the
only way I could get my alimony, y
Truth.
ELLA-"What makes you think
he loves you? Did he say SOP" Ida
"No; but he Rugged me. That is
roundabout way of letting me know
it."-Life.
ST. PETER-Good morning; won't
you come in? Shade of Boston Girl
How dare you speak to me without
having been Observation-Disclosures
Traveller.
"ARE you tired?" asked the poet,
as he stopped in one of his effusions.
"Tell me truly" "Oh, no." she an
swered, 81 have just been asleep,
Exchange.
"WAslFT that a moving sermon on
domestic charities by Dr. Monthly"
eyes, indeed; old Skynhynt actually
dropped tear in the plate. "-Har-
ward Lampoon.
MAUD-"There are no flies on Mi
nerva Backbay." INTELLECTUALLY
not. Those insects are not fond of
having their toes frost bitten. -
Texas Siftings.
81 NEVER had so long a dry spell in
my life, " said the Kentucky gentle
man, who had been shut up for
week in a temperance town by the
floods. Exchange.
SHE-"DO behaved" He-"Just one
little kiss! Your father has gone in!"
She gazing skyward) Eyes, but don't
you know that Mars unusually near?"
Bulletin.
"THE difference" said the man
with a weary look in his eye, "be-
tween my poem and my umbrella is
that the poem is always returned
with thanks. Exchange.
SHE-"Why do you suppose Mr..
Tompkins always wears such an
amused smile?" He-"Well, ne
ought to. He has a keen sense of the
and is very self-conscious.
Life.
THERE is no need of the whole ma
tion getting off about a consular
agent being shot in the foot, but it
wouldn't be surprising if it made |
him hopping mad. - Philadelphia |
Times.
MANlMA-"And how did my little
pet get to sleep last night without |
mammal" Little Pet-"Papa tried |
to sing me to sleep like you do, an I |
hurried up and went to sleep SOS not |
to hear it. "-Exchange.
HE KNEW HER FAILING. Mrs.
Dresswell Ito her daughter-in-law)-
Wait a minute! you haven't seen my |
duck of new bonnet. Daughter-in-
laws husband Qnterposing)- Hasn't |
she? Then you didn't buy it any
where in this neigborhood. Fun.
SUNDAY MORNING. Barker going |
to his club) = Good-morning, Miss |
Smithers. On your way to St. Pc
ter'S? Miss Smithers-And you are,