Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-11-24
Sprlnkles Of Splce.

lanta Journal.
The fence-builder is supposed to
ges through job in post-haste. =
YOnkers Gazette.
AN uptown Christian association
announces chalk talk by a reformed
milkman. "-SQnibs.
THE fast man is no snail. It is not
timidity that induces him to draw in
his horns. Galveston News.
YOUNG man, behold the small fly
in the hot coffee. He took leap in
the dark once.-Dallas News.
A LIQUOR dealers stenographer
necessarily puts good deal of spirit
into his letters. Buffalo Courier.
THERE ought to be reformation
in the habits of sculptors; they are
frequently on a bust. Cou-
rier.
SOME cautious people look at a
knotty question from all sides and
then walk off and leave it.-Galves-
ton News.
The woman on the silver dollar
can't be an actress, for she isn't
worth as much as she thinks she is.
-Stageland.
No MATTER how economical he may
be or how large his wages, the coal
miner often finds himself in the hole.
Buffalo Courier.
The highest form OF sincere fat
terry at the present time is to ask a
man if he can change $40 BILL
Memphis Appeal.
II is said good whisky can be bought
in Eastern Tennessee at SO cents a
gallon, but that's all moonshine.
Chicago Tribune.
How is it such numbers of young
men starting out to make a name for
themselves in life hit on Dennis?-
Philadelphia Times.
The Baltimore police were paid in
silver dollars last week. And yet sill
yer dollars for coppers is not a good
exchange. Globe.
THE man who was out on a lark
the night before feels like he had
been on wild goose chase the next
morning.-Topeka Journal.
ASPIRING politicians should enlist
the sympathies of telephone linemen;
they are expert wire-pullers and &C.
tive at the poles Lowell Courier.
WHILE it is true that great many
mortals are dissatisfied with their
lot in life, the chimney sweeps
seems to SCOT him entirely. Buffalo
Courier.
SOME laundry could establish itself
firmly in the affections of a COM
munity by making it a rule to lose a
whole pair of cuffs at time Wash
ington Star.
WHEN man does try to be good
and takes care of the baby, his wife
complains that he will be the death
OF the child the way he handles it. -
Atchison Globe.
IN Tartary when a native wants to
invite a man to eat or drink with
him he first takes him by the ear. In
this way it is easy to catch Tartar.
Philadelphia Ledger.
What's the differ.
ence between a cat and legal docu-
ment? Answer-The one has claws
es at the end Of its pawses; the 9th.
er has pauSes at the end of its claus.
es.-Boston Courier.
"THE whole world loves a lover
said he. "Yes, so l have heard. ;"
said she. "But then, you know. T
am not the whole world" "You are
to me-" said he. And then she gave
in.-Harper's Bazaar.
THERE is great difference in peo.
pie. Last Monday an Iowa farmer
hanged himself because he lost q cow.
while we sometimes feel like hanging
ourselves because we own one. FIN.
coin (Minn.) Journal.
Mrs. FADDER-"I have lust been
to see Mrs. Sharper. Such an inter
esting woman. She is devoted to
dress REFORM" Mrs. Homespun-"She
must be. She is always busy max.
ing over old buds. Boston Tran
script.
"A HoBoKEN wOman's husband re.
marked testify that he wouldn't
give two cents for her way of cook.
AA6t uuu ShO ~ UIlc OASIS or a
suit for divorce. Some women are
entirely twO-cents-ative. - Philadel.
phia Ledger.
"WHAT a marvellous vitality Slith-
urs has! He's been ill six months
now. Any other man would have
died." 1T isn't vitality. It's the
times. He is so hard up he cannot
even pay his last debt to nature.
Harper's Bazar
did you come across any brigapds
in Sicily?" "Plenty. But l always
got the best of them" "How SOP"
"Oh, simply enough. Every time /
met a suspicious. looking character
the road l went up to him and
asked an aims. Courier du Mid.
ALL the wedding-p party were as
sembled at the registrars. The
bridegroom alone was missing. At |
last he put in belated appearance.
He was hale old gentleman of 70.
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