The morning call., 1893-09-07
NOBODY DID 1T.
Deputy Custodian Jerome
Investigated.
1t Appears That WatermeIons Are
Almost Unknown to the Gus
toms SerV ice.

There has been another investigation at
the Custom house, but this time not very
serious one.
Postmaster Backus on the 1st inst sent
a written complaint to Assistant Custo-
dian Jerome of the CustOm-house building
stating that watermelon rinds had been
thrown from the Custom-house windows
into the postoffice grounds. An investiga-
tion was at once started by Mr.. Jerome
with the showing that watermelons are
almost unknown to the gentlemen con-
nerted with the customs service.
From one to another the letter was sent
accompanied by appropriate inquiries
until it was covered with Endorsements.
The Postmaster had written:
Sir: My attention ha been directed to the
fact that some one is in the habit of THROWN z
watermelon TindS and other refuse out of I'll g
east windows of the CuStOm-hOuSe. As we
have recently put some skylightS in over til e
well-hoeS below, l have 10 respectfully ask
that you will cause this practice TO be discOn-
tinued. II not only makes filthy mess under
our windows, but is apt 10 do damage. Yours
respectfully.
SAMUEL W. BACKUs, Postmaster.
Mr.. Jerome referred the letter to the
watchman, who subjoined the following
bit Of self-eXOnerati0n:
Mr.. Jerome: | have had but one watermelon
IDlS season, ana al cr Il ale II DldceQ the finUS
in The stove. but saw some boys ealing melons
there one evening and drove them away.
TIMOTHY MAHONEY.
The matter was then respectfully re-
ferred 10 Cashier Of Customs Chappell
with the query
Is the man In your Office who doesit
JEROME.
Mr.. ChappelPs reply was indorsed upon
the document in the GLOWING:
No melons have been eaten in the cashiers
Office since my incumbency, unless il was done
at night or after business hours, which do not
believe has been The case. CHAPPELL.
Mr. jerome next sent the letter TO Paris
Kllburn with the question scrbbled upon
Ii:
Surveyor, are you the man? JEROME.
/ Back 1t went with tUis answer
Surveyors department does not indulge in
the festive watermelon, and we have no access
10 lhe eastern windows OF The CuStom-house,
PARIS hILBURN, surveyor.
Naval Officer, are you the culprit?" next
wrote Mr.. Jerome.
The response was:
Employees in the Naval Office eat rlnds and
All. Could not possibly come from the Naval
Ofic las we have no access TO the east WINDOW.
WILLIAM b. HAMILTON, Sp. d. n. o.
This almost completed the round. but
the night watchman yet remained. Wrote
Mr.. Jerome:
Referred further TO the night watchman. Do
you throw your rinds out OF the window on thr
east side of the building? Report by indorse-
meut.
The watchman's answer was very
serious:
/ have not had or eaten watermeIons in the
Custom-house, nor have | seen anybody else do
so within the past four years. +. DURKIN.
That settled the investigation for there
was no more space left on the back of the
letter. and about everybody concerned had
been reached. SO Mr. Jerome returned
the missive with it's several Endorsements
to Postmaster Backus, first pinning to it,
| however, the following type-written as
teTpece:
Respectfully returned with the information
That have inquired at every station,
And each aud all have now denied
That they the watermelon rinds have SHE'D
Into the Postoffce ground.
1t is suggested that. perhaps,
Some unemployed or other chaps
While on the steps eating their dinners,
And reading lcIters-DoOr Old Sinnersi
Have tossed their melon rinds around.