The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1893-04-12
A FAMILY DINNER.

/ was dining at q well-known restaurant
the other evening when Smith came in.
''HellOY he cried. in his breezy manner.
= ado you eat in this placer"
Sometimes" replied "Why not? 1t
is the best place I know"
rs it? Then Pm sorry for yOu," said
Smith. as he dropped into a chair and gave
a hurried order to the waiter.
''Whyi What's the matter with the
place." [ asked in establishment.
'Oh, nothing in particular, any more
than any other place. They're all alike. II
by any miracle they get anything fit to eat
they spoil it in the cooking. l suppose they
wash their pots and pans occasionally in a
halfway decent place ike this, but yet. for
some reason or other, everything you get in
any given restaurant has one compost and
Undesirable havor peculiar to the place
a sort of trade mark, as it were.
He paused for breath. and l ventured to
say: This beef is pretty fair"
''Fairi l should think So" he growled
Altogether too fair for my taste. P osi-
lively auemic. 1t needs a tonic. l pre-
fer q warm brunette complexion in beef
But, as 1 said, it isn't the stu # so much as
the way it Is served. And then the sur
rOu ndings, mani The surroundings. You
either eat in a heightened place like this i,
amid ghastly silence and an air Of mystery
or, II you are in hurry, you rush into one
Of those ten-minute dives and bolt your
food Ike wild beast, between man who
spills his soup on The table and another WI o
eats with bis knife. Never any cheerful
conversation OF merry laughter at your
table. poor fellow! Tell me, don't you
suffer from dyspepsia"
"a little" | admitted.
"AhI l thought so. l did when I used
to eat at the restaurants. Not since I've
lad a home Of my own and lived like a
Christian, though. Tell you what, old man :;
come up and dine with US tomorrow. No
seventeen-course affair, all fuss and feath-
ers and nothing to eat, you know, but just a
plain family dinner. You must have for
gotten what one tastes like. And l can
promise you more fun than you'd get in
any show in town. / believe in having
things lively at the table. 1t is good deal
better than nerve tones and pepsin and it
don't cCst a cent Whatl Going? Here
comes nv dinner, and | shall have to eat it
alone in this horrible place. You wouldn't
see me here eXceut that I've got an en-
gagement in Brooklyn tonight and didn't
have time to 90 home. Well, so long. Don't
fail me tomorrow at $50 sharp"
There Is no use in irving to decline
Smiths Invitations or combat his state
ments, as / knew from long experience,
wherefore | allowed myself to be taken
captive, aud on the following evening at
$50 sharp delivered myself, as per order. at
his house. Mrs. Smith, a nervous little
woman, whom | had met once or twice
before, welcomed me and said that Mr..
Smith had not yet come home, but she
supposed that he would come soon, but she
was not sure-he was often kept so late
by business, aud then they lived so far up
town, and the cars were so often delayed,
and IL there was one point in the city
further from the elevated than the house
she believed it was the office, and besides
the elevated wasn't very much better any
way, and 1t was shame the way-the tax
PAYERS were imposed on, having their
streets torn up and their houses filled with
dust, and yet packed into crowded cars and
couldn't get home Till midnight and if she
were man she would try TO do something,
and she often talked to Charles like this,
but he only laughed at her II occurred TO
me that Charles must have a SUMMER
disposition, even, than l had given him
credit for.
1t is my impression that she touched on a
few other points, but l may be mistaken.
Perhaps she merely enlarged upon these,
for Smith only kept us waiting half an hour,
and part OF the time was taken up by dis
cussiOn between 14-year-old Tom and p
, year-old Blanche con corning the right and
title to certain books and dissertation on
cough syrups by Mrs. Smiths unmarried
sister, who was much addicted 10 indulg-
enee In those seductive beverages.
The time was so fully occupied that / was
greatly surprised when Smith entered like
breath OIL lTeSU All duu SdiQ IL WAS 4 U CLOCK.
Thought it was 10.
He brought friend with him.
bob White. Why, Brown, you surely
remember old Bob White Used to be with
Cbappit & Snider when we were youngsters
ever so many years ago"
And with this summary Introduction we
sat down TO dinner.
Sorry l am so late," said Smith, "but one
of those everlasting takers came in just as
l was starting and kept me half an hour.
- e. I.
In love with the sound Of his own voice.
cit was just that-nothing else In the
world. He knew ! didn't care rap about
what he was saying, and that he was boring
me half to death. Yet he kept on full
head OF steam. and l had to put on the
throttle myself. Told him 1 always got a
lecture for being late at dinner. Put IL all
on YOU my dear. Hal hal Now | can talk
myself, allhough-hellol this soups cold.
and swallowed nearly all Of mine before l
noticed 1t. It's enough to give fellow a
chill. What's the matter with that cook,
''But. Charles" suggested Mrs. Smith,
depreeatlngly. you were SO late, you
know, and"
"Ob, all my fault, of course. But 1 don't
see why man should be compelled TO eat
frozen victuals II he is late. That cook
doesn't know her business I'll discharge
her next week. Never mind, let's try
tho fish.
u
II us necessary, though Pm not much of
talker. But ! generally have something to
say when L do talk. and l have some con-
slderatlon for other people-now what are
you Youngsters fighting about?"
Tom has hidden all the DO oks that
Uncle John had brought us, and won't even
let me read one. and / know Uncle
john
That's right. baby" interrupts Tom.
with fine scorn, ''cry about II. wouldn't
be such teli-tale for"-
"Herel heIer' roared Smith. mo wrang-
ling at the table. don't care whose books
they are, but the first one l hear another
word out of PIP
He didn't say what he would do. but he
brought his fist down on the table 40 that
the hsh jumped up and turned over. as
those in the Arabian Nights did at the
geniPs bidding. Then there was an elo-
Quent silence, only broken by whimpers
from Blanche. for nearly fifteen secnnds.
1.-THE best children man ever had" Smith
then remarked. aside 10 White and me
''But they will have their little saGabbles
now and then. don't suppose they would
be healthy without them. Speaking of
children reminds me-but never mind, IN
tell you that some other time. Little pitch
ers, you know
He was interrupted by the appearance of
big Iiece of roast beef, which he at
tackled with a great flourish OF knife and
fork and the remark:
"Ahal Brown. old boy. I'll show you
some beef that isn't quite as fair as that
you had yesterday. / only hope that con-
founded cook hasn't spoiled it,"
At this point became aware OF the voice
of the unmarried sister, which was raised
several octaves above its usual pitch OF F
in 81. saying:
mo. Nellie, / don't believe 1t. and you