The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1893-03-03
THE ADJECTIVE VENDOR.
Illustrating the Past and Present
Styles in These Words

'Adjectives 10 sell. Adjectives to sell!
Nice sharp adjectives! Sweet round ad-
jectives! Adjcctives to sell"'
The adjective vendor stood Oh a sun
ny corner. His pack was slung across
his back by means of a string. The
stri.Ig was made of long adjectives,
and when the vendor sold one from il.
he linked on another taken from his
pack. In that way the string never
grew too short to fasten about him
The adjective vendor was a wide-awake
man. He had Travelled far, and had
friends in all parts of the world. lie
had now just returned from the Arctic
regions, where he had been To collect
oddities with which 10 replenish his
stock He was glad of the sun on the
street corner, and finally decided 70
take up his station there for the day.
GOOD pGOpIc aIlt
Give d call
he sang out, as he arranged his stock
on a little counter 10y the side Of the
walk
Here's for young ladies. The latest
goods for gents, Just imported, Here's
for the magazines. Fresh adjectives.
Give Us a call!'
''Oh, the dear things" exclaimed a
young woman who was passing She
looked longingiy II the vendors wares
Il do love them, she unused. ''lIow
much is that one with the frilled edge?"
Not much, =" said the vendor, with a
courteous smile. But viii it become
you?"
young woman
Free OF CHARGE" answered the ven
dor, with a deep bow.
Those snowy goods have all gone
out, IL she did but know it." be muir
INJURED 70 himself shell appear like
a fool. but that's not my affair"
An old man drew near, and, putting
on his glasses, stopped over the wares
"Pshaw,n said he, these giIncracks
are nothing like the adjectivcs Of my
day. The world is growing foolish
and with motion OF disgust ne moved
on.
II must look up something for him."
thought the vendor. 1t viii pay"
''Adjectives, sir?"
This remark was addressed TO an
erect, prim gentleman, who had not
apparently noticed the vendor.
- never use Them" said the stiff
gentleman, without turning his head.
The vendor shrugged his shoulders.
But he was soon consoled for the re-
buff. He spied bevy of schoolgirls
coming down the street. He drew his
feet together, and down he wont in so
deep q bow that the cap in his hand
swept the ground.
Good morning, ladies. Those on
that side are for gents" he added,
hastily, as he perceived his customers
focI1ing TO the wrong side of the coun-
ter.
These are the thing, of course"
incnt chin. Have you the latest from
Yale?''
Yes" said the vendor, but he looked
bewildered. The world, it seemed, had
been marching on during his stay in
the Arctic regions. But he was
ready, shifty man.
IF you like those rough goods
ladies, l can show you any variety.
The gents sometimes use them strung
together, but you only want an odd
one now and then, judge"
mo. indeed" said the former speak
er. II shall have mine strung together.
What do you say, girls?"
The girls pounced upon the vendors
goods, and rolled them over, and turned
them over and talked them over. Such
great, hard articles as they chose!
Some of the gentlest of the buyers
NotAh lldIN4N grasp NiitAI pAtEiAdStSs
but that only made them laugh the
harder.
"Kittie's got the nobbiest lot!' they
all exclaimed, as, laden with purchases,
they departed up the street. KIttie
was the short maiden, and she had
truly chosen the longest and the most
bizarre of the articles for sale.
The vendor of adjcctives was tired.
He sat down upon the curbstone and
wiped his brow,
''Who would think itr' he murmured
to himself
But he was above all a man of bust
ness. His stock needed Encouragement
lie must bring out goods from his pack
TO take the place of those that were
sold. While he was busily working a
group of young men lounged up to
watch him. They were the gilded
youth of the town.
The vendor did not at once accost
them. lie was no longer certain what
would please them, and he aid not like
to show his ignorance, But he soon
caught by the expressions of their faces
that the latest novelties from the Are
tic regions were the objects of their ad-
niration.
Hang it," cried one-'these are
stunners.r
Thought the vendor: ~ will put up
the price"
The vendor began to be very happy
before night descended and put an end
to his traffic. His gains were enor-
nous All day the youths and maidens
had been floclIing to his counter lie
had tucked away the grave and solid
goods, and had displayed only the most
tempting novelties.
When he went TO bed that night he
set his alarm-clock SO that it might
awake him early.
II Will traue some of those shop
worn goods on the working people,
he thought To himself.
Alas misguided man that he was!
The sun rose bright and smiling.
When the vendor arrived al his post
the street was cleanly swept The
shop windows were still covered with
their shutters, and only a few wagons
went rattling by. The vendor whistled
cheerfully to himself