Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Sprinkles of Spice.

SORROWS are, Of course, preserved
in the family jar. Plain Dealer
FLYING machines would prove more
profitable if they came higher. -
Pittsburg Post.
THE valley-dictorian generally
strives for the heights Of eloQuenceS
-Yonkers Gazette.
THE balance of trade in the skirt
dancing business has again turn ed in
our favor. Washington Post
APPROPRIATELY enough in many
cases the husbands Of grass widows
are straw men.-Philadelphia Times.
ROMEO was SO madly in love that it
was no wonder he gave the core of
his heart to the apple Of his eye. -
Buffalo Courier.
"I'M not in it," murmured the
crinoline girl us she gazed at the
hoopskirt in prominent store.
Philadelphia Record.
IT is a long lane that has no turn
ing, but the broker who is on the
outside often finds it hard to get
around the corner.-Butfalo Courier.
SUIToR-l have come, sir, TO ask
you to give me your daughters hand.
Paterfamilias-Why sir, when l last
saw it, it was in your possession
Chips.
The West will blow. 1t now tries
to offset the big horsefly Of the East
by referring to the housetly common
there in the cyclone season. -Phila-
delphia Times.
BEATRICE--I hear that Mr.. Sapley
is suffering from brain-fever. Jones
i guess not. He hasn't the raw
material necessary for brain-fever =
Brooklyn Life.
WHILE Il division fence isn't the
most sensational or exciting thing in
the world it frequently furnishes the
neighbors something to talk over
Buffalo Courier.
Observation-Disclosures, have you said
your prayers? Tilly--Yes, mamma!
You were very quick about it," Il
prayed one half and Daisy the other"
Texas Siftings.
THE Debutante (aside)-How many
verses shall ] sing? The Professor
Do you want an encore? The Debu-
tant-Of course. The Professor
One. Boston Budget.
BRIaGs-What did you tell your
wife when you got home so late Tues
day night? Brags-I told her she
was the sweetest woman in the
world. indianapolis Journal.
HoUsENLoT-"T his scare is nom
sense. The country is all right. ="
Putencall-"Don't doubt it.; but
what's troubling me is how to get
money enough to enjoy it. Vogue.
MRS. TIMMINs Ito her caller)-Yes,
/ was connected with the Board OF
Lady Managers. Mr.. Timmins (who
has entered unperceived) = Hsh,
Maria. Let the dead past be for
gotten. 4
CONGRESSMAN BoATNER is the fast
est talker in the House, so much so
that the stenographers find many an
impediment in his speech after they
have taken it down. philadelphia
Ledger
.TERsEYMAN - Monmouth county
has several voters over a hundred
years old" Stranger-"Well! Welll
Not many railroad crossings at grade
there ! presume. - New York
Weekly.
AN eminent physician says it is
often dangerous to lie on the right
side. 1t is also unnecessary Any
political speaker or writer knows the
wrong side needs the lying, If any.
Buffalo Courier.
CARLTON G ATEs--"Are you so hard
up?" Tramp Hard up? Why,
boss, if suits OF clothes wuz sellin' at
l cent piece l wouldn't have
enough to buy the a. mhole of vest"
Smith, Gray & Co S Monthly.
ToMMY's Mother-nshaw, Tommy.
You oughtn't to have been frightened
because the yacht rocked little
Look at Little Cousin Nellie; she
wasn't scared bit Tommy-No
wonder: she had me there to look
after her.
LAwyER-What change did yon
first notice in the patient as result
of his acquiring the cigarette and
morphine habit? Witness-Well. at
first he began talking incoherently,
and then he took to wearing pink
shirts. Chicago Record.
MoLLIE had been to church for the
first time, and on her return home
her grandmother asked her what she
thought of it. Il liked 1t very
one thing / did't think was fair
aWhat was that, DEAR" Why, one.
man did all the work, and then an
other man came around and got all
the money "--Harper's Bazaar.