The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1893-07-19
Wit and Wisdom.

'a'Ooy 10 Oh rs w CTS louS dS
both husband and wife like to read
their old love letters to each other.
Watts -"Old Grimmis left his
wife pretty we'll off, when he died,
didn't he" Potts-"Better off, in
fact"
Old Gent greeting friend)-"Hul-
10, Jorkins. Been fshing2 What did
you catch9 Jorkins (gloomily)-
"Ha'-past six train home"
"The difference" said the man
with weary look in his eye, sbe-
tween my poem and my umbrella is
that the poem is always returned
with thanks"
Levinski-"Vas dot drue dot Chi
eago vas really set on fire init a cow2'
Stranger-"Yes, sir; that's correct"
Levinski-"Do you know we're l could
get COW Of dot breed2 1 could use
such COW in mine peezness."
Clara-T must really go to church
next Sunday" Amelia-"Does your
conscience prick you for staying
away so long9" Clara-"No; but
there are several new dresses which
L haven't even seen yet"
Wife-"Why, Charles, what do
you mean by burning our old love
letters" Husband-"I have been
reading them, my dear. After l die,
some one who wished to break nv
will might get hold of them and use
them to prove l was insane."
A Gavroche (standing in front of
the booth of the Brabaneonne gian-
tess at Vincennes)-"What do you
charge for seeing your shown
Twenty centimes, young man."
"See, here's ten confines; I'll ONLY
open one eye"
"Mandy, I've just been readin'
about the arc lights they are goin'
to have at the Worlds Fair" Man
dy-"Law, Josiah, don't it seem
strange to think of them usin' the
same lights that Noah used durin'
the food?"
We were dining together at a
French restaurant, and spied to our
intense disgust fly in the soup.
Waiter" ] Indignantly cried. NV
friend interposed. "Whatever you
do, don't mention the fly; they'll
charge it extra in the bill"
Mrs. de Blocker" Mary, I
could not engage your young friend.
She is too ugly by far" Mary-"I'm
very sorry, but you said so particu-
larly that I was to look out for a
good plain cook, that l thought you
had some particular reason"
Bilton-"It is great misuse of
terms to say man is the architect
of his own fortune" Chilton-"How
so3" Bilton-"When an architect
plans a $1,000 house it costs $4,000.
but when a man plans to get $2O,-
600 fortune he usually lands some
where in the neighborhood of $500"
Mudge-"Women are queer crea-
lures" Yabsley-"What is the mat
ter with you now2" Mudge-"Why,
all the old women l know insist that
| am making a mistake in remaining
single, and all the young ones seem
to think the other way"
MAY have the honor of taking
your daughter in to support" asked
Griffin of lady he met at the cricket
club ball. MAY you take her in to
supperT echoed the dame. 81
should think you may just; and me
too. That's what we came for!"
Griffin didn't follow it up any far
Their.
A schoolmaster was giving his
scholars lesson in singing. He
told the boys to be silent and the
girls to sing. Observing one girl not
singing he came up and asked her
why she was not singing. "Cause
all the folk says l ought to have
been boy" was her answer.
The Boston girl visiting in Chi
cago was startled at times by the
invigorating freshness of Cook Coun-
ty sociability, but she did not permit
herself to comment upon it adverse
ly. On the contrary, she tried to
enter into the spirit of it. One
evening after more than usual
bolster, for grown-up people. she
spoke to lake-front downger. "You
Westerners," she said pleasantly, "are
not atall reserved, | have noticed"
"Oh, no." shirruped the dowager;
there's lot of bon hominy in our
best circles after people get ac-
quainted."