davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18
HuMoRs OF BANN PUBLISHING.

Announcements of Marriages That Have
Been Unceremoniously Interrupted.
A few years ago q ludicrous, albeit
vexatious, incident occurred at church
In Larkhall. A rustic couple, after hay
ing had the banns published the pre-
scribed number Of times, proceeded to
the church to be joined in holy wedlock.
The service was conducted without a
hitch until the officiating clergyman ar
rived at that part where he asked, evil
liam Wisher, wilt thou have this woman
to be thy welded wife?" when the bride
groom replied with some establishment
that his name was not William Wisher.
The ceremony was Of course suspend
cd, and on investigation being made as
to the cause of the mistake 1t transpired
that the bridegroom had written to the
sexton of the church requesting him to
have the banns published, and concluded
his letter thus, $50 no more from your
well wisher and Mary Williams" The
sexton, supposing that William Wisher
was the name of the intending Benedict,
published the banns accordingly, and
the disappointed couple were compelled
to await the publication of the banns in
their proper names.
The precentor of country parish
church near Arbroath one Sunday an
nounced from his place that "there was
a solemn purpose of marriage between
Alexander Sphinx of Fishers loan and
Elspeth Hackett of Burn wynd," when
the parish beadle, who was something
of q character, suddenly arose and un-
tremendously interrupted the proceed
ings by exclaiming, "That's wrangi
That's wrangl It's no Sanders Sphinx O.
Fishers loan that's gaun to marry Els
peth Hackett, but Lang Sanders Sphinx
o Sniddy croft" The name of one of
the parties had been wrongly stated in
the proclamation paper, and this was
the way the beadle took to correct it.
Some years ago middle aged agricul-
tural laborer called upon the session
clerk Of Alloa and asked him what the
charge was for publishing the 'cries"-i.
O., banns of marriage-three times on
the same Sunday. "a pound" replied
the clerk. 'Aye," said the other, ian
what dye TAX when We TAX two Sun
days to dotf' "Half a guinea" was the
reply. "An what dye charge when ye
TAX three Sundays to't?" was the rus
tics next query. "Seven and six,' an
swered the clerk, with an amused air.
AYE, man." rejoined the querist, II
see; the LANCER We TAX to dae't the cheap
er it gets. Just cry AVA till We pay yer
sepr'
Andh took his departure withoutmore
ado.-London Tit-Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18
WEDNESDAY. OCT. 1S. 1898.
THE BOY IN THE NOW.

THE BOY IN THE NOW.
There glides through the barns mammotl
door
A sweet scented hilltop of hay;
An athlete, with strength bubbling DER,
Now filings it in forkfuls away.
Another is slowing 1t back,
With white pearls of toll on his brow,
And, treading the hay in his track,
Looms family the boy in the NOW.
Through crevices often can he
View, past the old barn wall Of brown,
A river that leads to the sea,
A railway that drives to the town.
"Oh, when shall my fortune make hay
In yon fields of splendor, and howP
Twill wait for full many day;
I'm only a boy in now"
A cloud like flag from the sky
Is splendidly spread and unrolled;
The sun reaches down from on high
To fringe 1t with silver and gold.
"Oh, when will heavens mercy my name
AS bright as those colors allow2
But earth has no glory or fame
To waste on boy in the now"
A cloud in the west, like pail,
Creeps upward and hangs in the light;
1t carries gloom over all,
1t looks like part of the night.
With clamor the thunderbolts swarm,
And trees bend in agony now;
"fTis thus, too, that poverty's storm
Would conquer the boy in the mowl"
The clouds have flown into dream,
The birds are discoursing in glee,
The smile of the sun is agleam
On river and hilltop and tree.
Look up to the heavens, little lad,
And then to your earth duties bow,
And some day both worlds may be glad
To honor the boy from the mowi
VIII Carleton in Youths Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18

Leave Lambertvie for Manunka Chunk 1888,
! 81 m. 1875, 5.32 and 8.f3 p Sunday, S13 nj.
For Phillipsburg and Easton only 632 p m week
4 days.
Leave Frenehtown 0 Os, 1868 m, 2O7, 5.54 and
| S42 m weekdays, 8 AZ m Sundays For Phil
| lipsburg and Easton only. 706 p m.
Arrive at Philipsburg 36 and 1926 a. M, 2.45,
| 623, 740 and 918 p. Sunday 9.lS p.
Leave Phillipsburg 7.25, $40 and 1910 m, $50,
/ 6.2S and 9.23 m. Sunday, % p m.
Arrive Belyidere 75S 1904 and I'LL m, 1924,
6.59 and So m. Sunday, 9.53 p m.
Arrive Manunka Chunk sos, l0.IO and Ills m,
$3.50, 7.O5 and 1000 m. Sunday, 1000 m.
Additional trains leave Belvidere for Manunka
Chunk 100 and 940 a m, and 225 p m. Sunday.
Belyidere 1925, l0l5 M, 49, Ito, 1905 m Sun
day 10 05 IN.
Freight or mixed trains leaving Manunka
Chunk at 500 m, Beividere 6.15 m, Martins
Creek 35 a M arriving Lehigh Junction $50 m,
will carry passengers and make stops at flag sta
tions north of Philipsburg. Trains leaving Ma
nunka Chunk at 1926 III and 4.30 m, will carry
passengers to BelvIdere.
Passengers for Broad Street Station, Philadel-
phia, by trains leaving Manunka Chunk 727 a m
daily. and 1920, p m weekdays, and leaving
Phillipsburg SEQ a m daily us m, and 100
? m weekdays go through without change at
Trenton. through car for Manunka Chunk is
attached to trains leaving Broad Street Station at
6.O7, M, 1900 noon, and Ala p m. Trains
leaving Manunka Chunk 1927 m and Philipsburg
500 IN for Philadelphia, and leaving Philadel~
pha 800 m for Philpsburg, Easton Manunka
Chunk and Buffalo carry Pullman Buffet Sleep
ing Car between Philadelphia and Buffalo. BY
all other trains passengers to from Broad Street
change cars at Trenton.
Connection Is made at Manunka ChunK with
Delaware, Lackawanna g. Western Railroad; LIE.
high Junction with Lehigh Valley ,Lehigh d sus-
quehanna Morris & Essex, and New Jersey Contra
Railroads. AT Lambertville with Pennington Rail-
road At Trenton with trains to and from Me-,
York, Camden. &c.
Forfurther information see timetables, which
can be obtained at the ticket Offices.
j. r. WOOD,
General Passenger Agent.
s. NJ. PROVOST,
General MaDoper
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18
LAMBBRTVILLE NATIONAL BANK,
LAMBERTvILLE, NJ.

The Bank will be opened at o'clock A, M, and
close at o'clock. r. NJ, on all business days, ex-
cent Saturdays, when the closing time win be /
o'clock, p. NJ
All legal holidays observed.
Stated meetings of the Directors every Monday.
at 10 O'Clock, A. NJ.
SAFE DEPOSIT BOXES TO RENT at Eve and
seven dollars per year.
Coupons cashed and dividends and interest col
lected.
WILLS when enclosed In sealed envelopes and
accompanied with written instructions as to their
delivery, in case OF death, will be receipted for
and kept, free of charge.
STOCKS AND SECURITIES PURCHASED for
patrons Of the Bank, at market prices.
We respectfully solicit accounts, aud offer every
accommodation consistent with conservative
banking.
ISAIAH p. SMITH,
Cashier.
Feb. 10. Iss2-tf.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18

r OST OR MISLAID,
- Policy No. 1850, issued by The
Penn Mutual Life Insurance Company,
on the life of Jacob Helms. The finder
will please return it to the undersigned.
Application has been made for the issu.
ing of duplicate.
JACOB HELMS,
Nov. Q, Iss2-st
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18
LADIES


Will also find it TO their interest to
consider our stock for their
GLOVES,
HOSIERY,
CORSETS,
LACES,
EMBROIDERIES,
WHITE GOODS,
RIBBONS,
HAIR PINS,
VEILINGS,
DRESS TRIMMINGS,
DRESS Innings,
AND ALL SMALL WARES.
We have entered on our 18th year
of service to you. Our experience
enables us to serve you intelligently.
A continuance of your patronage
solicited.
S. A. FINGER, AdT.,
40 n. Union street,
Lambertville, N. j.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18

Leave Lambertvile for Pennington 9.3S m, 200
and .33 m, weekdays.
Arrive Pennington zoos m, 2.55 and COB m,
week days
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1893-10-18
Reading Railroad.
TINE TABLE IN EFFECT JULY "a, 1898.
TRAINS LEAVE NEW HOPE

For Glenside, Jenkintown and Philadelphia, week
days, 5A5, 7.40, a. m, LOS, 42O, 60I p. IN
Sundays ITO a. m, 4.35, ESQ p. m.
RETURNING TRAINS.
Leave Philadelphia, Twelfth and Market SITS,
weekdays, 8.02 a. M, 2.l2, %, 6l0, 932
D. m. Sundays 907 a m, 1877, pm
Leave Philadelphia Third and Berks Sts., week
days, $780, a. m. LAO p. m. Sundays $40 a. m, 20
7.O5 p. m.
Close connection at Jenkintown with fast ex-
press trains to and from New York, Baltimore,
Washington, the South and West.
ATLANTIC CITY DIVISION.
Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut street wharf, and
South street wharf.
FOR ATLANTIC CITY.
Week-days-Exp press, 90, a m, 400, $50 p. NJ
Accommodation, 800 a. m 545 p. m
Sundays-Express 900, 1000 q. M AceOmmoda
ton 500 a. m. and 4'30 p. m.
Returning leave Atlantic City Depot, Atlantic
and Arkansas avenues. Weekdays-Exp press, 30
S.5Oa. IN and 400, p, IN. Accommodation, SIT
a. m and 30 p. m.
Sundays-Express, 400, SIS p. m. Aecommoda
ton. 7.15 a. m. and AIS p. m.
Parlor Cars on all Express trains
C. q. HANCOCK,
!. A. SWEIGARD, Gen. Pass. Agt.
General Superintendent
Aug. 2, 1893.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

the dollar for State purposes.
Our school system is excellent.
With less than a million people
We spent last yearsl. 100000 for
education. The State has not q
dollar OF debt.
Our natural resources Of forest
farm and mine are boundless,
our people rapidly progressive;
we have low taxes. a salubrious
climate, no locusts. grasshoppers.
cyclones or droughts.
We offer the heartiest welcome
70 our Northera and Eastern
friends desiring to change their
homes. This welcome is especial
" extended to the small farm
er; for him, in our fertile soil, is
every possible hope of success,
both in regular agricultural line
and in fruits. The State is the
gateway between the West and
the North. and 1t is right at
the market.
VIM. A. McCoRKLE.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24
OUR GREAT STATE.

3 r =
The last issue Of Ha,per's
Weekly contains a Symposium of
Southern Governors" The fol.
lowing is the contribution of
Governor McC orkle, of this State:
Int National Convention ten
years ago q newspaper reporter
mentioned a recalcitrant member
as mailing from the Little Wild
State of West Virginia" Would
that be true to-day
The State is three times larger
than Massachusetts.
In West Virginia there is the
largest nail mill in the world.
There are invested in the indus
tries of Wheeling alone $4,000.
600, with annual sales aggregat-
ing $50, 600, 600.
In 1880 railroad mileage was
SOL miles, in 1892 ltwas loo
the second State in the Union in
railroad building.
In 1880 the Big Injuns sand
was not touched; to-day the oil
output is 625, 600 barrels per
month-the second oil-producing
State. The rich Gordon and
Berea sands only touch il two
places. The Sistersville field is
today the greatest oil.producing
field.
In 1880 we produced 1,4o4, 0os
tons of coal; 1892 produced g.
10, 1888 tons. making the fourth
coalsproducing State.
In 1880 we produced 121, 715
tons: of coke; 1892 1913, 1858 tons.
making second coke State. New
River coke outselling Councils.
vile coke in Chicago. The great
Pittsburg seam scarcely touch;
ed.
We have 10000 square miles
of Goals making our coal area the
greatest.
The Flat Top region in 1880.
there was nothing but a wilder
ness. Last year the output was
9, soo,0O tons; the coke more
than 40O,o 600 tons.
We have the largest area of
hardwood in the Union. good iron
ore, fine glass and salt water,
splendid building stone.
Our taxes are only 81 mills on
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

genial and able gentleman.
Richie Gazette.
The Postofiice passed into the
hands Of the recent appointee
Mr.. Lee II. Vance one day this
week but ex.postmaster. Bough.
ner wiilremain a short time to
assists the new officials.
Hon. Presley w. Morris, we'll
known as logicaland well versed
lawyer and an eminent journalist,
should be nominated by the Re-
pubIicans of the Fourth district
as their next candidate for Judge.
We are out for Judge Morris.
Mr.. WIN S. Creenlief, former
ly Of this county bridgeport,
has composed piece of sheet
music entitled Protection
which he has dedicated to Gov.
Mckinley. Mr.. Greenlief is
recognized as one OF West vir.
fiinia's finest. musicians and has
many friends here who will be
glad to know that 9. F. Thomp
son can furnish this composition.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24
Don,ts For wIre..

Don't be jealous because your
husband is a gentleman and con-
sequently polite to other women.
Don't bother him with details
of dressmaking. but put on your
prettiest clothes for him.
Don't worry when he talks
about mothers cooking, but
ask your mother-in law to make
a visit.
Don't have Bridget's and Mary
AIMS failings and shortcomings
for dinner.
Don't try to outdress Mrs.
Smith wheL her husband has
twice as much salary as yours
has.
Dan' ialk about your old 10y.
ers; your husband will eventually
wish one Of them had you.
Don't leave the children en-
tirely to the nurse-girl and then
wonder at their behavior.
Don't forget that they are a
little better than the fascinating
lap-dog.
Don't be talking constantly Of
their projections; it's tiresome.
Don't be cross and irritable
when a little patience may save
q family quarrel.
Don't, ifyou have to do your
own work keep at it from day
light to dark have a system.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

Mike West. better known as
big Liz, the member OF Com
pany D, Second Regiment West
Virginia National Guard, who
was struck with a bayont during
the recent encampment. is re-
ported to have died at his home
in Hinton. big Liz tried to
pass a sentinel, who ran after
him and struck him in the back
with a bayonet. The official an
nouncement was made that he
had been wounded by a soldier
in the discharge of his duty, and
no punishment was ever given
the man from Milton who wound.
ed him. Ear
y b |
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24
Municipal Elections.

Chapter 25. Section IS of acts
of West Virginia Legislature.
session Of 1893. says, &c. Every
municipal election shall be held
in conformity with the provisions
of this act, referring to the act
in regard to State and county
elections, sometimes called the
Australian SYSTEM. except that
the duties herein required of the
county and circuit court clerks
shall bel erformed by the munich
pal clerk Tor recorder as the case
may be, the duties herein re-
quired of the commissioners OF
the county court shall be per
formed by tie municipal council,
the duties herein required of the
county sheriff shall be perform
ed by the municipal marshal Tor
d =
chief of the police as the case
may bel; and the rights of desig-
nation Of election officers by
political parties shall be exercis-
ed by the chairman of the com
mittees of such parties in the
municipality, il any such there
be. Municipal officers are here
by required to perform the vari-
GUS duties herein prescribed for
county officers in whose stead
they act subject to the same pro-
visions and penalties herein pre-
scribed as to such county officers.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

A monument ., Gen. B. F.
Kelly at Philippi is talked OF.
Two prisoners escaped from
the Logon Jail last week.
Weston is now talking OF .
water works.
Coal is 10 cents per bushel at
Spencer.
The county papers have bios
somed out with big sales OF real
estate for taxes.
The late James McGraw, Of
Harper's Ferry, left an estate
valued at Si65, 900.
While excavating for Q vault
in back yard, at Rayenswood.
workmen unearthed q human
skull.
Edward johnson, aged IL years
OF Parkersburg, while playing
leap frog was knocked down and
his back broken.
Frank Stroman. oldest SON Of
W. S. Stroman, ofUnion, Monroe
county, was fatally hurt last Sat
urday by jumping from q train.
A bed OF fire clay from seven
TO ten feet deep and four miles
long. has been discovered at Ban
dy Gap. Cheat Mountain.
Mrs. Jane Lanham was burned
to death at Gillespie, Richie
county a few days ago. by her
clothing catching fire while she
was asleep.
J. F. Lilly, OF Summers county.
who was shot some weeks ago. at
his home by Thos. Meador. died
from his wounds last Sunday
night. Meador is in jail.
The trial Of Lewis Hall. accus-
ed Of the murder OF Samuel
Steele. in Mcdowell countyl,clos-
ed last Monday by the acquittal
Of the prisoner.
There was . marrow escape
from . terrible accident at the
Martinsburg Methodist parson-
age on the 4th. The Fireplace
heater was not properly closed,
which consequently emitted
Considerable quantity Of gas that
entered the sleeping apartments,
nearly suffocating Mrs. Trump
three children and Miss Ella
Troxell, q visitor. In her uncon-
scious condition Mrs. Trump fell
down the hall stairwsy. The
sufferers endured excrutiating
pain and intense sickness for
hours, the patients not fully re.
covering for several days.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24
Additlonall Loeal.

Seewhat Mr., Granville Bart.
lett has to say about life insur.
ance on page 5 of this issue.
Mr.. f. M. Cunningham, that
eminent, genial merchant from
Sardis, was q pleasant TELEGRAM
visitor last week.
Mrs A. P. Bond, of Lost Creek
died on last Sunday. The TELE.
GRAM recently spoke OF the am
putation Of her arm, which opera.
ton did not save her life.
The lovers of choice music will
be glad to know that Mr.. viii
Nusbaum has secured the Smith
Sisters for one of their famous
concerts January ID, '94.
DR.. W. Fish who has been con.
nected with the State Institute
here for some time has decided
to resume the general practice
of medicine and has permanently
located here.
The @ larksburg TELEeRAM has
begun its thirty third volume. It
is splendid newspaper and its
editor, Mr.. Stuart f. Reed, d
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24
Baekhannon Briefs.


The winterterm at the Confer
ence Seminary opened last week
with an enrolment of one hun
dred and thirty.five.
Jerome W. Stuart has engaged
with the boot and shoe firm Of
Young, Creighton & Diggs, OF
Baltimore, as travelling sales
man.
Mrs. Anna Carper and daughE
ter. Carrie. were in Baltimore
last week.
Mrs. Prof, s. b. Brown, Of
Morgantown, is the guest Of Miss
Carrie Weisenfelt. Delta.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

points a pistol or a gun at Won
knock him down; don't stop TO
inquire whether it is loaded or
not; knock him down. Don't be
particular what you knock him
down with. only see that he is
thoroughly knocked down. If a
coroner's inquest must be held.
iletit be on the other fellow-he
won'tbe missed.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

THE smallpox alarm has about sub
sided and there ia little PROBABILITY that
the disease will go beyond the ono
family in which it broke out at Bridge
port For awhile there wna considera-
BILE alarm and no small amount Of un-
easiness prevailed at Bridgeport The
schools were closed on last Monday
simply because parents would not send
their children TO school and there was
nothing for the teachers to do.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

CAPT. MAeSus ASprRsos. tho Nor
wsgian sailor who built the Viking
ship and sailed her across the sea to
Chicago. was presented 70 President
Cleveland the othcrd day by Gardiner q.
Hubbard. president Of the National
Geographical society. It is thought
that the Viking ship will end . per
manent resting place in Washington,
now that the worlds fair Is closed.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

TEE slang expression II don't think,
Is not so new that one may feel that
he is very fresh when he uses II. It
was common more than atty years
ago, when Dickens wrote Martin
chuzzlewit." II was pat into the
mouth Of one Of the characters early
in the story, and the author comments
on 4 Us being a fayorite phrase.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24


A girl never marrles her ideal.
One reason is that she seldom
finds him. and when she does she
dosen'tllke him. Another reason
is, the material man is so dread
fully unlike the one of her inn
agination. A girl is an inconsist
emit creature anyway. AS sure as
she fashions the idol of her
minds eye as a great fierce.
black.mustached, brigandish.
looking individual. the end will
bea promise to love and obey
some meek, freckled red-haired
person who cannot forget his
affection for chocolate caramels
and foot. ball scrimmages.
Most dreadful is the fate of the
little woman who admires the
Jolly man who canlaugh at paper
weight biscuits and boiled beef.
steak, for she invariably falls
heels over head inlove with some
solemn, steady man whose very
photograph makes her dumb
with silent awe.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

|. An Ohio wife asks for divorce
on the ground that her husband
lis in the habit of going to bed
with his boots on. 1t may be
that the gentleman suffers from
cold feet.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24
II Has Passed the white House.

The new tariff bill has passed
the White House, SO the Wash.
ington correspondents say. In
other words, Grover Cleveland
has examined the several SEIZED
ules, has invited a few Of his init.
mate political friends to look over
the work, and the announcement
is now made that the bill in all
its parts has been.fashioned after
the idea of the Chicago platform,
and thatthe autocrat of the White
House has pronounced it good,
and he himself is well pleased.
Having passed the White
House it win next go to the leg;
islative branches of the govern
ment for approval. unless a suf-
ticient number of independent
Senators should be found to pro-
test against this measure of de.
struction. The bill, as it stands
approved by President Cleveland
is dy all odds the most radical
and most dangerous piece ofleg-
islation that has emanated from
the Democratic party since the
first attempt of Representative
Morrison to make a horizontal
reduction of the tariff. The effect
of this bill will be far more dis
astrous to industry and labor than
any of the former propositions.
for two reasons. First it's in it.
self more radical, andin the sec.
ond place the present critical
condition Of our manufactures
makes the passage Of the billat.
this time a wanton and reckless
blow at the very foundation of
our industrial progress. 1t will
destroy thousands of industries
and build up none. twill close
half the mills and factories and
workshops in several branches
of manufactures and open none.
It will throw hundreds of thous-
ands ofwage earners out of work.
and reduce the wages of all. It
will leave human misery and in
dustrial wreckage where twelve
months ago the Democratic par
ty found human contentment and
industrial prosperity.
Such is the measure that has
passed the White House and is
awaiting the signature of the
House of Representatives. m
Y. Press.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1893-11-24

A srRrSerrELp tMass.) paper sug-
gests that the name ofJefferson ave.
nue. in that city be changed 70 Bliss
avenue, since SO many newiy-married
couples are taking up their abode
there. That paper must figure on tho
supDosition that marriage Is success.