The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1893-07-19
AUNT POFFK|NS' EARRINGS.

AUN PUFFklNS EAKKIN6S.
Detective stories have always been
my favorite form of literature. have
read many, and have gained from them
a thorough contempt for probability
and the police. The first thing you
should do when crime has been COM
mitted, as l often said to Uncle Poff-
kins, is to suspicion the most unlikely
man as being the criminal. That was
the course / adopted when Aunt Poff-
kins' earrings were stolen. 1t was in
the morning when the theft was dis
covered. Aunt came down late and
ran into the room where Uncle Poff-
kins, Dora and l were breakfasting.
Ny aunt bore traces of strong agita-
ton, and she had forgotten her cap.
"My earrings" she cried. "They
are gone-they are stolen!"
"God bless my soul!" exclaimed I'm
Gle Poffkins, dropping his teacup as
if he had been shot, and leapinG up
with yell of pain. He said the yeil
was attributed to the heat of the tea,
which was trickling down his legs.
My aunt explained. The earrings
were kept wrapped in cotton wool in
a jewel-box on her dressing table. The
box was never locked, and the house.
maid had access to the room. The girl
had only been in the house week, and
was known to have beau. My aunt
and cousin at once concluded she was
the thief, and sent for a policeman,
who searched her trunk and found
nothing of Importance. I could have
told them that.
Meanwhile I Kept my eye on Uncle
Poffkins. He was the one person who
could have no motive whatever in
stealing the earrings. He was very
rich. most respectable and extremity
slow and noisy in his movements;
moreover, my aunt would have given
him the earrings at any moment if he
had asked for them. Evidently he
was the last man to attract suspicion.
Accordingly l watched Uncle Poffkins
closely.
We passed q week of excitement.
The police were running in and out.
Dora cross-examined the housemaid
necessarily. Aunt Poffkins went about
weeping and reminding every one she
met that the earrings were present
from Uncle Poffkins on the occasion
of their engagement. My uncle him.
self affected to make light of the mat
ter and went so far as to loudly and
ostentatiously curse the earrings. He
was wrong if he thought l could be
put off the scent by that clumsy ma
neuver. I never left him alone; /
tracked him to the city, hung about
all the morning, shadowed him when
Il To lI1n /,
when he crossed over to the exchange.
Unknown to him was on his bus, in
side if he rode on top, and on the top
when it rained and he slowed himself
away inside. He never escaped me,
except while he was in his Office.
At last, after ten days weary chas-
ing, was rewarded. l need not say
hat the police had discovered moth
ng. The house was still topsy-turvy,
md my aunt subject to intermittent
lysterics. That wronged creature,
;he housemaid, did her work with
mop in one hand and in the other
wet with innocent tears.
But to return to Uncle Poffkins. The
5enth day after the earrings had dis
as he was brushing his
hat before leaving the house and look
ing at my aunt's tear-be-dewed visage,
MS conscious smote him and he so far
forgot himself as to exclaim audibly:
"I'm blamed if l can stand this any
longer!" The folly of the man was in
credible. l had him now. In an in
slant I was after him. He took bus,
[ took cab, and started for the city.
Now came the odd thing-Uncle Poff-
kins disappeared. How it happened I
DO not know, but when the bus pulled
up at the bank Uncle Poffkins was not
to be seen. | questioned the conduc-
tor, but he had evidently been
bribed, and told me very rudely that
he had something better to do than
answer my riddles. He drove on, and
I was left for the first time at fault.
1t was. evening before l saw Uncle
Potfkins. was going home in very
state, when about two
hundred yards from our gate, espied
him ahead of me. Quickening my
pace stealthily approached him. He
opened the gate and passed in; noise
lessly l followed. A little farther on,
sheltered by the shrubbery, he stopped,
and after a stealthy glance toward the
house took from his overcoat pocket
small morocco case. l stood on tiptoe
just behind, and, with mingled horror
and satisfaction as | looked over his
shoulder, l saw the earrings! was
right! Uncle Poffkins sighed. Shall
l give 'em to her or notw he said to
himself "It's rank waste. Still it
will keep her quiet" watched the
struggle between his good and evil
angel. Clearly his good angel had
triumphed so far as to bring the ear
rings within fifty yards of Aunt Poff-
kins; but now came the tug of war.
It was severe, and it ended in the vic
tory of evil Uncle Poffkins, shutting
the case with a snap, exclaimed:
"It's all blamed nonsense! I'll take
'em back to Abraham's tomorrow"
Abraham no doubt was the receiver.
for my uncle went on, IN a satisfied
tone:
He'll make no trouble about taking
'em."
He was putting the case into his
pocket when my feelings overcame
me. Respect for ones elderly re-
latives is a praiseworthy feeling, but
it must not be allowed to override
higher duties. l flung myself on I'm
Gle Poffkins, crying:
Surrender! You cannot escape
mel"
My uncle fell heavily on the gravel
path. l fell heavily on top of him
and pinioned his arms to the ground.
"'Tom!" he exclaimed, "what the
mischief-are you drunk"
at is useless, sir" began, "to af-
feet ig-"
had reached this point when l was
violently collared from behind, lifted
bodily off my uncle's chest, where l
had been sitting, and was deposited on
a grass plat, while deep voice said in
my ear:
"Now, then, young man, turn it up.
You're a lively 'un, you are. Fust yer
aunt and now yer uncle"
The new conner was policeman.