davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
A WOMAN AND A BABY.
What She Did With 1t While the Car Wa
Going Three Blocks.

What She Did With It While the Car Was
Going Three Blocks.
A woman got into a Cold Springs car
the other afternoon. She was carrying
sweet-faced baby, which was not
more than six months old
The car was detained on the corner
where the woman got on, and she
shifted around nervously in her seat
toss the baby about Here is a true
description of what she did with that
child while the car was going three
blocks.
Held it upright on one knee for
thirty seconds. Then shifted it to the
other knee.
Pulled it up against her and Rugged
it twice.
Tossed it on her left shoulder and
then shifted it to her right sho builder.
Held it up to the window and then
stood it up on her lap
Made a cradle out of her arms and
jumped 1t up and down about six times.
Placed it on her left knee Then put
it on her right knee.
Laid it on it's stomach in her lap.
Rugged it to her bosom and patted it
seven times.
Held it up at the car window again,
then pulled it over to her left shoulder,
shifted it to her right shoulder, and
wound up by dumping it on her lap.
Tossed it in the air a dozen times and
Rugged it four or five times
Laid it on its back in her lap and
then turned it SO that it lay on its
stomach.
Patted it for a minute and hummed
''Hush-a-by, Baby" although the child
wasn't making a sound.
Put it on her knee and joggled her
knee up and down, shook in front OF
her, holding it out at arms length, and
then Rugged it ecstatically three times
al f0 fh<. win f<,,s !,
third time and then, when the con-
ductor came after her fare, laid it in a
mussy lump on the seat beside her.
Patted it some more, joggled it some
more, tossed it some more and Topped
it down on its stomach again.
Held it out at arms length and gazed
at it rapturously. Talked gibberish to
it and Rugged it some more.
And all this while the car was going
tn rec blocks.-Buffalo Express
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
Language of tho Visiting card.

The custom of turning down ethe
corners of the cards to signify different
messages is not a very general one, al
it is considered better form to have
ones pasteboard representative as
fresh in appearance as possible. How
ever, the fashion does obtain to a small
extent and its language is as follows
Turning the upper right hand cornSe
signifies that the single card is to i'm
clude all the ladies of the household.
and turning the upper left hand corner.
that the call was made personally.
This latter is the more senseless cas-
tom, as, except in Washington, where
the visiting duties are so very onerous.
it is very unusual in this country for
ladies to call by proxy, or to send their
cards to a door by their maid or foot
man,-Ladies' Home j Journal
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
he GOT A CLAIM.
A the Same Time He Got Even With His
Wife and Ii Happy.

a 8000
wife and L. Happy.
There is at least one boomer happy.
one "stripper'' joyous ''in this melan-
choly vale;'' it is-a gentleman from
Sheldon, Ia, who was interviewed at
the union depot in Kansas City, and
told the reporter a tale of woe through
which runs like a thread of sunshine
the gloat of the exultant proprietor of
the cow that ate the grindstone.
Listen:
MY wife kept nagging at me to go
down and take q claim until 1 simply
had to 60"
No one who has not heard wife
smite the harp of life on one key for
breakfast, dinner and supper, and take
it to bed with her, can understand the
delirious bliss that frenzies the brain
of the gentleman from Sheldon, Ia, as
he makes this proud avowal 1t is q
bliss that transcends the joy of doing a
good deed. It resembles nothing so
much as the excruciating, guilty joy
one knows in scratching a chigger bite
till it bleeds, with the aggravating
knowledge that it will make an ugly
sore. After this outburst the gentle
man from Sheldon loses all sense of
shame and continues:
''Well, got a claim, and I'm afraid
got consumption with it, for my lungs
are full of ashes and sand"
Here he begins to feel his nails go
through the quick skin, but he only
digs in madden. more ecstatic and more
love! where love like this is found. O.,
heartfelt rapture, bliss beyond COM
parev What a wealth of happiness the
gentleman from Sheldon, Ia, is storing
up for his quiet home! How he will
throw the halo of his presence around
wife for sending him away from the
roof-tree, if it takes all winter! He
continues musing, as if to himself,
while the reporter follows.
II got a spade and began digging my
claim. In fifteen minutes the wind had
blown the sand out to a depth of four
feet I am going home now to tell my
wife that I've got a claim and the law
will force us to live on it or go to the
penitentiary."
All, there is consideration for you!
Ulysses returning from his travels.
Hero breasting the waves to Leander,
the troubador who gaily thrums his
guitar coming ''home from the war
none Of these bring the delicious thrill
of satisfying comfort that the gentle
man from Sheldon bears to the wife of
his bosom. A consumptive with one
lung full of sand on the one hand, and
a dank, dark. Shiny prison cell on the
other. One can almost see him go trip
ping up the gravel walk that leads to
his humble but happy home and hear
the glad cry with which he will greet
his patient wife who has kept 1.-The
light in the window" There are joys
and joys. There will be no billing and
cooling in the family of the gentleman
from Sheldon, Ia; but there will be a
lively home coming and a joyous re-
union when he gets back. The God
bless our home" sign over the cupboard
Will be in full force and effect in that
sweet hour, you bet your bottom dol
lar.-Kansas City Star.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
SilencinG . Bully.

Paul de Cassagnac is practically an
extinct Volcano OF late his interrupt
tions in the chamber have not been SO
frequent or SO noisy as they at ono
time were. and in the field of politics
he does not count as a serious factor.
One of the best stories told of NJ. de
Cassagnac has az it's hero M. Menier.
the chocolate manufacturer. NJ. Me-
nier, who was q deputy, had mounted
the tribune and comm1ced to speak,
but NJ. de Cassagnac SO persistently
shouted "Chocolat! Chocolat!'' that he
had great difficulty in proceeding. At
length, in desperation, NJ. Menier
turned on his tormentor and shouted
that if NJ. de Cassagnac would pay him
the bill his uncle had owed him SO long
for "chocolat'' he would feel very
grateful. The chamber roared. and
NJ. dc Cassagnac at once subsidized
London Figaro.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
SIZE OF THE PACIFIC.


COVOE0 E0Et0v0
Area.
The Pacific ocean may be reckoned to
include GO, 600. 900 square miles, or more
than one third of the total area of the
earth's surface. 1t extends through
nearly 1876 degrees of latitude, or three
eighths of the worlds circumference-a
stretch of 1000 miles from north to
south From east to west it varies from
an even greater length to less than fifty
miles. If confined by the smallest pos
sible length of boundary line it would
form a round pond $500 miles in di-
ameter.
The deepest sounding made by the
Challenger expedition was in the Paci-
fic. between the Carolines and Lndrones,
and was 4,475 fathoms, or 20, $50 feet;
q greater depth than the height of any
mountain in the world except three.
A still deeper sounding was made from
the United States ship Tuscarora of r.
to the Sea of Ol<hotsle; this being prob
ably the deepest reliable sounding ever
made.
The Pacific ocean has not been ex-
plored nearly SO thoroughly as as the
Atlantic, and generalization from the
may be subject to considerable inacu-
racy, but, putting together the record
ed soundings, and taking into account
an estimate of the depth based upon
the sxiftness of the tide wave, it seems
probable that the average depth of the
Pacific may safely be put at 3, 600 faith
oms (1s,O 900 feet), or nearly SIS miles
This gives the entire contents of the
Pacific as nearly 2S2, 900, 600 cubic miles
Some conception of one cubic mile
may be got from the statement that,
if we had a block of buildings of that
size, it would take an hour to walk
around it at a good pace, and a fairly
easy staircase to the top of it would
contain ten thousand steps, while thir-
teen cathedrals as high as St Pauls
could be piled up on one another with
out reaching to the top.
The cubic contents expressed in
feet is thirty-four trillions (thfrty-
four million million). This is a
number it is not easy to realize;
1t is so great that if 1000, 600 clocks
licked once second for 1000, 900
years their combined tickings would
not amount to it. AS each cubic foot
of water weigh over sixty two pounds,
the weight of the Pacific is over 1900
trillion pounds, 5000, 600, OOO, 600, 600
tons. Magazine.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
ADVENTURES OF A PHYSICIAN.
why He Found Himself Regarded .
Hari8h ON q Street Car.


Pariah on = Street Car.
IL had rather a grevvsome venture
the other day." said well-known
Washington physician to a writer for
the Star. Il had been up all night
with a patient on whom I had per-
1t was a question whether he would re-
cover from the shock. In fact it was
touch and go, SO that 1 could not take
minutes sleep. About a.. m. I got
away and started for home, so ex-
hausted that it never occurred to me to
think of my appearance.
1.-The horse car had boardedAluickly
filed up with laborers on their way to
work. Though very sleepy, was some
what surprised to notice that several of
them eyed me strangely. Those of
them who sat down near me quickly
moved away, and one man who took a
seat next to me- was in one of the
front corners-lool<ed at me, got up
hastily, and held on to the strap. No
body else took the vacant place, though
the vehicle by that time was crowded.
mot being used to being regarded as
a pariah, was considerably puzzled. I
observed the faces of two or three men
who sat opposite to me, and thought
that they gazed at me with an express
sion of horror and disgust. What could
it mean? 1 began to feel alarmed.
'Just then I CHANGED to look down
at one OF my cu1IS. IL was saturated
with blood. The other cuff 1 noticed
for the first time was bloody also. My
trousers were spotted with blood, and
there were fresh stains of it on my coat
sleeves My anxiety about the patient
and subsequent exhaustion had pre-
vented me from thinking of the matter,
and had not done more than wash
my hands before starting for home. At
once saw what the trouble was. The
people in the car could find no other
way of accounting for my condition
than to suppose that 1 had just killed
somebody. They sized me up for a
murderer. Unshaven as 1 was, and
wearing an old hat, must have looked
rather tough. Not word was said as
1 got off the car and made a sprint for
my house, glad to get back safe, and to
remove the traces of imagined crime
from my MISUNDERSTANDING Star.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
A Pretext.

A few evenings ago little boy was
busily engaged at his lessons. His
father, one of the leading citizens of
Harlem, had gone to the lodge, and his
mother was busy sewing. The little
boy looked up and asked: Mamma,
what does the word pretext' mean?"
t'When your father says he has to go
to the lodge two or three times a week,
that is a pretext to get away from his
family"
The boy did not say any thing, but
whole school his definition of 'pre-
text" created a sensation.-Texas Sift-
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
The Uses of Charcoal.

Charcoal isn't always sufficiently ap'
preciated- 1t is handy for various oc-
casions and for many uses 1t may be
a help in time of need. Impure water
may be clarified by fltering it through
the crushed Jumps. Glass and other
utensils, when they have been washed
with soap and water, may be freed
from odor by rinsing with charcoal
powder. An occasional use of charcoal
as tooth-powder makes the teeth
wonderfully white and the breath
sweet Powdered charcoal, taken as a
medicine, is excellent for indigestion.
pan of charcoal put in a closet which
does not admit light and air, and left
to smolder an hour SO, will render
the atmosphere perfectly fresh. When
meat, fish, and the like are likely to
become tainted from intense heat or
long keeping the simplest method of
keeping them sound and sweet is to put
a few Jumps of charcoal into the pot
where they are to be cooked.-Chicago
Mail.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02

-ssI should like to know when you
are going to pay that bill I can't
come here every day in the week. -
what day would suit you best?''
..Saturday.'' Every well. then you
can call every Ssturday."-Petit Par
3sieu.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02

An honest, industrious man of our
acquaintance came down with an ill
ness which lasted through winter.
His wife also fell ill. A lot of us
dubbed together and saw them
through. Both recovered and he as
serted his manhood by earning the
money and Offering to pay it back.
That man was helped, not hurt, by Civ
ing him money when he has brought
want upon himself by his own doing or
not doing. It is only when, because of
not originating in his character, he is
in want, that he may helpfully be
helped.-Interior.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
RS0S9OrtnH.

Mr.. Day Weld am afraid, love, you
will find me rather exacting at times,
and am afraid, too that I am little
inclined to find fault without cause.
Mrs. Day Wed-Oh, don't worry,
dear! I'll see that you always have
cause.-Judge.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02

Advice to q Girl Concerning Her Socia
Relations.

Advice to a Girl Concerning Her Social
Relations.
It may be taken as a general rule
that no woman can retain her friends
who can not control her temper. What
she thinks may be right, but because it
is SO no excuse can be found for her
going into a long quarrelsome argu-
ment, raising her voice and making
her hostess and all the other guests
uncomfortable. Then the people must
know that she is to be relied upon;
that she is not going to bring the daily
worries of her life into the social at
mosphere, but that she is certain to
bring her mite of agreea bleness to add
to all other mites until the perfection
of enjoyment is achieved, and the
pleasant side of everybody is seen and
enjoyed. The woman who wishes to
keep her friends must steer clear of
fer, religion or politics being especially
undesirable for discussion.
Be pleasant and agreeable to all men
who may be in your own social world,
but give no one man the right to
especially claim you untib the verita BILE
Prince Charming appears To retain
ones friends one must also respect
their social rights. and by this l mean
that if their hospitality is accepted it
must be catered to properly in the way
of dress and manner, and that the girl
shows wisdom, who, invited to a very
ella borate affair and feeling that she
can not afford even simple dress, re-
fuses the invitation rather thnn NOR
tify the hostess by being out of tune in
the general harmony. Consideration is
have.-Ruth Ashmore, in Ladies' Home
Journal
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
A Bright boy.

ssMa," said a newspaper mans Son..
stI know why editors call themselves
swe.''
s'Why?"
"So's the man who doesn't like H..
article will think there are too mAnys
people for him to tacklot -Waehe1
ton Star. q -
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
New Game for IIim.

Poker Jim of Dead Mans Gulch was
at church for the first time in his life
whats the ante?'' he inquired in a
whisper, leaning forward as the contri-
button basket came around to him.
Chicago Tribune.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
A Proof of Trust.

Fond Mother-Willy tells me his en-
ployer is gradually taking him into his
confidence.
Eather-Yes?
Fond Mother-He says he showed him
how to lock the safe yesterday.-Pucls.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
Johnnx.s Art Taste.

Little JOHNNY don't like the new
set of books our school is goin' to uae.
There isn't hardly any pictures in 'ena-
Fond Mother-My little boy loves
the beautiful in art, doesn't he?
Little Johnny-Yes'm. The less pic
lures there is the more things there -
to 1earn.-Good News.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02
No Doubt OF It

Mr.. Pensive-Al things come to the
man who waits.
Mr.. Getthar-Yes, but if you fee the
waiter some things will come to you
much sooueE-Texas Sittinga
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02

Charles-I have eaten brain-food for
six months without apparent results
Edith-Yes, am told the brain is
the only organ upon which it has any
efsect-Tvutts
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-12-02

The descendants OF a single female
wasp will often number $4,000 in one
seaSon,
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07

versal numerator representing by GER
tain legal stamps and signs the unvary-
ing and ever constant monetary unit,
the mineral or figure with its multi
pies and fractions 1t was in the year
265 b. C., with the coinage of the first
silver coins. that the destroying serpent
metallism first set its poisonous fangs
IN the body polite, and human liberty
commenced to wither and die. The
money unit ceased to be looked upon as
the universal conventional denominant
and passed from the abstract and ideal
into the real and material. becoming
certain quantity of certain commod-
ity The unit of account" became the
standard of value" The world had
changed its monetary system from the
''numerary' to the commodity" and
liberty received its mortal blow.
An enslaved and Shylock oppressed
humanity sweeping at the grave where
lie entombed human liberty and the
numerary system of money, and the
day Of resurrection draweth nigh The
tear-washed throng of mourners are
derisively termed socialists, anarchists
and calamity hOwlers, and the cry of
the despoilers is: Where is the prom
Use of His cOming?' But lie will come.
The ''stOne cut ont of the mountain
without hands" is gathering momentum
and force and soon will strike upon its
feet Of iron and miry clay. that image
whose head is of fine gold and whose
breast and ayms are of silver. and ut
terly demolish it. Then will the uni
versal brotherhood of man rise from
the ashes Of present dynasties and be
free from Shylocks bonds.
Brethren, Awake! Awake! The
conflict of the ages is upon u.s. The
mighty and invincible ballot in the
hands of an educated people possessing
universal suffrage, will emancipate hui
manity and reseat the risen Goddess
OF Liberty upon her throne. Let the
watchwords be: Organize, Educate.
Agitate. GEORGE c. WARD.
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07
PETER, THs MINI BIRD.
An Eagle Who Was Ward of the Amer.
lean Government.

ANAh pbFNAhhicAAs
If you have a silver dollar of 1896,
1888 or 1889, or one of the first nickel
cents coined in 1856, you will find upon
it the true portrait of an American
eagle that was for many years a ia.
miliar sight in the streets of Philadcl-
phia. "Peter," one of the finest eagles
ever captured alive, was the pet of the
Philadelphia mint, and was generally
known as the mint bird" Not only
did he have free access to every part of
the mint, going without hindrance into
the treasure vaults where even the
treasurer of the United States would
not 60 alone, but he used his own
pleasure in going about the city, flying
over houses, sometimes perching upon
lamp-posts in the streets. Everybody
knew him and admired him and even
the street boys treated him with re-
spcct. The government provided his
daily fare, and he was as much part
OF the mint establishment as the SUI
perintendent or the chief coiner lie
was so kindly treated that he had no
fear of anybody or anything, and he
might be in the mint yet if he had not
sat down to rest upon one of the great
1y-wheels. The wheel started without
warning. and Peter was caught in the
machinery. One Of his wings was
broken, and he died a few days later.
The superintendent had his body beau
tifully mounted, with the wings spread
TO their fullest extent: and to this day
Peter stands in a glass case in the
mint's cabinet, where you may see him
whenever you go there. An exact por.
trait of him as he stands in the case
was put upon the coins named.
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07
CAPTURED A THIEF.
story of a Bear Who Was a SUGGEST
Detective.

Detective.
Not bear that went around with a
policeman's hat upon his head and a
club stuck in a belt at his waist; but he
captured a thief as easily as though he
did. His name was Bruin, and he be-
longed to an Italian who travelled from
town to town, making Bruin dance for
living for them both.
Late one afternoon he stopped at a
farmhouse and begged to stay all night.
He ordered Bruin to dance for the chill.
dren and then shut him up in the barn
for safekeeping. During the night the
family were aroused by great noise
coming from the barn, some one cry
ing: Help! Help"
The farmer ran to the spot, followed
by Bruins master. They found the
bear with his arms around a mans
neck, hugging him tightly. The bear
was muzzled so he could do the man
no great harm, although he was terri
bly, frightened.
He proved to be a dishonest neigh
Dor who had come to the barn to steal
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07
He Was Embarrassed.

Jinks was young man who had
been married year, and he was tell.
ing friend how difident he was when
single.
Were you much embarrassed when
you popped the question:" asked his
friend.
Embarrassed? Well, | should say |
was. owed $1,000 for board and
clothes and one thing or another, and
didn't have darned cent to pay it
with."-Texas Siftings.
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07
A Diplomatic.

Wanderer Wiggins-No, mum, do
not want no money or food or a place
to sleep. Goodness knows, mum, I'm
no beggar. merely want to inquire
if that beautiful little baby in the
front yard is yourn, mum. It's the
prettiest young 'un | ever seen, an
Mrs. Youngwed-Do come right in,
my good man, and sit down in the par.
lor while ! send to the grocer's. Do
you prefer apple pie or ice cream with
your dessert?-Chicago Record.
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07

His master, learning how matters
stood, called out: Hug him, Bruin!"
The bear continued to hug him until
the farmer, thinking he had been pun
ished enough, told the Italian to make
the bear release him. Bruin was given
great piece of honey-comb as a re
ward, and no doubt he wished that he
could catch thief every day.-Louise
Thrush Brooks, in Our Little Ones
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07

The farmer makes hay while the
sun shines-but the bankers horse con.
sumes il.
People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-07-07

Boy-Father sent me up to say that
he would be very thankful if you
wouldn't lay any more carpets tonight
he can't sleep
D Flat-Go down and tell your
father not to let my hammering pre-
vent him from feeling thankful; tell
him to be thankful his carpets are laid
and, above all, to be thankful he sent
you up instead of coming himself. Git
out!-Puck.