The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-07-29

to have the lOvehest outfit you ever saw, +"
responded the loving maiden. Mamma
is giving me everything want"
And the lover-Of course he is the
most perfect man in the world" con-
tinued the lady, trying to lead the girl to
talk Of her happiness.
Yes, he Is q right nice fellow. You
know, he has had his salary raised, and
he says we will surely go abroad in the
summer. Isn't that lovely:"
The lady turned away with n sigh.
Alasl was this the extent of girls
happiness on the eve of the most impor-
tant event in her life-a lovely trous-
seau and trip to Europe?
And how would the fright nice fell
low" seem in her eyes should some mis-
fortune cause his salary to be cut down,
and if, unlike her mamma, he could not
give her everything she wanted? Were
she deprived of her trip to Europe, would
marriage seem a delusiOn and a snare to
her? One would think that marriage
should be regarded more seriously than
this, and yet hundreds of men and wom-
en- enter into the sacred relation with
anything but sacred ideas or motives.
know q woman whose whole life was
imbittered by the discovery that her
husband had married her because his
aged mother needed companion. Serv-
ants were unreliable. and he liked to
be free to go and come as he pleased, so
he married a wife and gave her a COM
Portable home and left her to find COM
partnership with the aged mother while
he followed after his own pleasures. 1t
never occurred to him that he should
sacrifice time Or inclination to bestow at
4, l.
Marriage ought to mean something
quite different from this. 1t seems to
me woman who takes the wifely VOWS
ought to reason in this wise:
"I am now going to make it the great
object of my life to establish happy
home for this man whose wife 1 am.
No matter what personal sacrifices are
necessary, what distasteful duties 1 may
have to perform, will persevere until
make my home an ideal one for the man
who is forced to contend with the turmoil
and strife of the business world. In
that terrible warfare which men wage
for dollars he meets with discord, self
ishness, jealousy and deception. He
shall come to his home as a haven of
refuge where peace, love, appreciative
rest, await him. He shall be king of
kingdom of home shall find it delight
to consult his tastes and cater to his COM
fort. He shall always go forth with fresh
courage and strength TO meet the daily
battle Of life"
At the same time the man who takes
q wife unto himself should reason in this
wise:
II will make this woman happy, what
ever curling of heretofore ungoverned
appetites and passions, whatever con-
quering of selfish habits, it may necessi-
tate. / will remember that she may
sometimes tire of the home which is a
novelty to me after my days work, and
I will plan a theater, a drive, q journey
for her often enough to give her LII
riety. l will remember that 9. .to1;ooto
minded woman - nevor i1,-,e,;1;ote5
o. - -lsey.z---- --1r0sCx 50 Illuminated
,.e,@3fIen obliged to ask for money, and
will place Il sum at her disposal, each
week or month.
IF the household arrangements occa-
sionally seem troublesome and i'll or
dered, viii be considerable, remember
ing that matters in my office sometimes
become mixed despite my systematic
methods, and l should not like to have
my wife reprove me for lack of business
qualities at such times
ST will remember that the physical
woman is a delicate machine, and if she
sometimes seems strangely nervous and
sensitive l will be considerable and not
reproach her. will remember that she
needs to be told in words as well as ac
lions that she is dear to me, and that
word of praise gives her new JOY and
courage in her efforts to please me, and
/ will not neglect the polite attentions
which every woman appreciates from
the man she loves. To keep her in love
with me and proud of me shall be my
chief object"
There may be great many men and
women who reason in this wise as they
enter married life trust there are. [
know at least three couples who set
forth with these resolves, and / know
that they have made home place which
is as near heaven as can be found on
this care burdened earth.
But such heavens are mot reached at
a single bound" Patience, sacrifice on
the part of both, self control and COM
mon sense are necessary to establish
harmonious relations between two peo-
pie who have been reared with entirely
different surroundings. A wife may be
tlreO or the mouse ana long IOr recrea-
ton, but if she sees her husband come
home with an especially tagged express
sion of face she should have the tact to
realize that this is the time to keep silent
about her wishes and to settle down to
quiet evening at home. And the hus-
band for whom such sacrifice is made
needs to be on the watch TO give such a
wife happy surprise ere long in the
way of pleasure.
think the scene Of the most needed
and most difficult sacrifices necessary to
the happiness of home and husband lies
in the kitchen. The majority of men,
who have the hurlyburly of life during
the day, 90 not find happiness in board
ing house or hotel, but want the home
comforts
The majority of women in these days
dislike housekeeping, with its tyrannical
cares and responsibilities. To think up
bill of fare for each day, to direct
servants to prepare it or to aid in its
preparation, to try to economic in the
household, to keep the machinery of the
house all in good working order-this is