Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-06
TYPEWRITER

. .achine Relates Few Tales Out of
schooi-ROmaneO of the Gifted Genius
Who Resigns Literature for the Frying
Pan-Better Than the Usual Thing of
elO q Week aud Man to Flrt with.
igBegritsr N ne NsV York Recorder.
assure you have an awiully hard
time of 1t.
appear to be the property Of a girl
with literary aspirations, and, accord
ing 10 what / have heard OF the world,
would prefer TO be the property OF a
steamship and exchange office, or Of a
busy editor, or even OF the most pro-
life author In the world.
might be worked harder, but l
shouldn't be Knocked about so much.
The girl with literary aspirations lets
out all her feelings on me.
i know she is not one Of my name
sakes-an ordinary typewriter, because
she doesn't flirt with boss and lure
him 20 take her out in the evenings in
stead Of going home to his wife in Har-
lem-and she doesn't keep a box Of can
dy and box of curling tongs by the
side Of me.
Her fingers are certainly rather
sticky when they touch me sometimes
but those are the days when she Is
very literary and doesn't trouble much
about her personal appearance. On
these days her hair is Just twisted up
anyhow, in way that makes her head
look very high, aud as If a slice had
been cut of at the back, and she wears
red blouse waist that is very short
WASTED at the back and stained with
ink.
On these days / am worked very hard
and talked to a good deal.
She keeps me in dark, dirty, dismal
little office, where she says she gets ''in-
spiration.
This quality Of gift comes to her at
all times of the day or night, and is
generally manifested In the neglige
style Of her hair dressing. the red blouse
before mentioned and \ preOccupied
manner.
On thefday OF inspiration she drags
NE OuEof q dark corner, where in more
ordinary moments I may lie unnOticed
EuOqg rubhs 'ands, mucilage and ink
ibOttles, ar wing me q superficial
duSing 4ther brush, sits down,
an6S inserting the paper,
start Ingers me and talks 10
me.
II ,hsader II am really only a clever
amateur, or a mediocre, unhedged pro-
fessional. (She is fond OF hard Words.
I have IDEAS certainly have ideas, but
they seem so much better before 1 write
them down.
''Now, in conversation I get on all
right, and young men often say that
I'm quite q brilliant cOnverSatiOnalist.
] know Charlie says that's because men
,Rre lazy, and il saves a man lot OF
trouble II girl talks right through
whole hot afternoon, when be doesn't
want 70 exert himself-but then Charlie
always tries to snub me.
"Now, the question is, do 1 drivel
away all my ideas in conversation in
stead OF keeping them?"
Then she falls into a reverie, after
which she registers a solemn vow never
to drivel away any more ideas In con-
versation, and, having condemned her
self to perpetual silence, she spasmOd-
ically begins TO work me.
She Is an amateur at typeWritlng, as
indeed she is at everything.
Generally she works with one hand,
the other being free to scratch her head
which, / admit, sounds vulgar, but,
have heard, Is a habit common TO liter
arV people and comes from absence Of
mind.
She works unsteadily, heavily aud
-----tlr = Esam E9siZgasshe goes along,
mak.A many mistakes and Blaming me
theoretically whenever q fresh one o.
ours.
'You great stupid" she cries. after
striking the wrong letter End. striking
the keyboard, sendk every letter up al
once.
Then feeLfgSry cross with her, be-
cat.95 ms 'yssence hurts me and il is
not my fault that she is so careless.
After she has completed 4 compost
tion she very hurriedly and excitedly
incloses IL, with stamps, in an envelope
aud with a great many diSjointed in
functions gives il TO lacOnic boy, who
takes IL nonchalantly as il II were moth
ing important.
The laconic boy disappears with ii
and for a few days have rest
On these days (which l may call the
unliterary ones) my mistress looks
different girl.
Hsr ha;ris done fashionably, and she
wears q tfght-ftting gown with no ink
spots.
Her mannerSs no longer preOccupled,
and she only flea in and out Of the dark
little den TO fetch things, and takes no
notice Of me at all.
Then one day see, her with her head
on the dirty desk, ina limp attitude OF
detection.
A man whom she never calls by any
name, and who never calls her anything
but ssyoung woman" and who seems 10
consider that his proper mission In life
is to tease her, come in and says:
''What? soma more returned?"
The girl with literary aspirations
murmurs something In a stihed tone
without lifting her head.
Then the man whom she never calls
anything says:
%Did the editor offer TO shoot youP'
And the girl OF literary aspirations
funds up like a creature at bay and
tries to get out of the little den.
But the nameless man prevents her.
''Why not give 1t up," he says, land
, 20 to- typewrit.ng? You get lots OF
glce Ter dollars week, and
. man 10 fiirt with"
The nameless man gets no reply.
There is rustic OF petticosts, and am
not touched for week.
When l next see the girl or literary
aspirations she lifts me up carefully
and as she does so diamond ring
flashes on her third left hand finger.