Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-02-23
THE COST OF A FILTRATION.
A Free Press Writer Tells How He Was
Cured of the Habit.


Did ever flirt? Well, I should
smile unreservedly and often. My
wife knows me too well to ask such a
question, but at the same time she
is aware that l never f1irt now-nev-
er, oh, never. What married man
does?
| got myself into innumerable
scrapes by flirting, but there was one
that was just a little too sensational
for even my iron nerve. And no man
can possibly flirt without that outfit
Of moral ore.
| was travelling in the South at the
time, and found myself one day
stranded near shabby cabin on the
hillside where it seemed impossi BILE
for human beings to live, but which
gave signs Of being habited, although
the door was close shut. / raped
without dismounting, using the butt
of my whip, and the door was opened
instantly and by one of the handsom-
est girls | ever saw, albeit she wore
but a single garment, and that yell
low calico gown scantily made.
| bowed and smiled, my horse
curvetted and pranced, and | thought
l was making fine figure as l asked
If | could be accommodated with a
dinner for myself and some water for
my horse.
Il reckon yer kin, stranger, seem
ez fayther air willin'," and she looked
inquiringly at lank man who had
been peeping over her half-clad
shoulder.
ut air yer dicker, jimmie" he said
in drawing voice.
"'Light, stranger" she said; Eyer
can eat corn bread an bacon l reck-
on"
l told her that I could, and gave
her the long look of professional
tlirter, to which, rather to my sur
prise, she replied by winking one eye
in manner SO fantastic that had she
not been really handsome it would
have made her look grotesQue.
$50 this is to be game that two
can play at, l thought to myself as
followed my hostess into the cabin.
The father" talked crops, politics
and weather in a drawing monosyl-
Liable sort of way, and | watched the
daughter and got in some smiles and
smirks which were meant to show
that / admired her and to which she
responded with as much alacrity as a
regular city tirt.
While | ate my dinner she waited
on me and / managed to say several
things that were not intended for
no fo no ,cH Ia RI
to notice us, Or perhaps was quite
willing | should admire his pretty
daughter. She was blonde, and
blondes always made me giddy-
headed. You will notice ! speak
in the past tense-my wife is bru
nette.
While / was eating and flirting
noticed that the lank father" was
busy with the stub Of pencil and a
bit Of wrapping paper and l con-
cluded from certain glances he cast
at me that he was figuring up my
dinner fee. This is not characteris-
tic of the hospitable South, but there
as we'll as in other parts avarice, or
rather necessity, prevails. So | asked
as / rose from the table what the
damage" would be for what | had
eaten.
eve don't take no pay for vittles,"
said my pretty hostess with mu-
steal intonation that quite capti-
waited me.
"No, stranger, reckon we kin give
We a bite for notin', but fob abusin
yer priverlidges an trespassin' on
other folks property, heah air yer
bill, an it's all regular made out.
l took the bit Of paper in my hand,
and this is what l read:
"mr. stranger Deter two seth Sharples:
for lookin crosside at His Wifi scots. fer tew.
dozen larffs in the face of mis- Sharples ST.:
Fer five wunks frum Miss sharples scots :
"But this is outrageous, I said; "in
the first place | thought your wife
was your daughter and"
Mr.. Sharples reached for his gun,
which was behind the door.
THAT don't go down." he said, and
began to fool with the trigger.
THAT settles it., l said, and 1 paid
the two dollars, with hard bitter
laugh at my folly. AS / mounted my
horse and rode away, the charming
Mrs. Sharples looked after me with
speculation in her eyes, and it's dol
lars to cents that that episode cured
me of miscellaneous f1irtations.
"A Blacksmith's Museum.
" II -