The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-02

After the ball was over
He gloomily sat by the fire,
Thinking how he would pay
For the flowers next day,
And settle the carriage hire.
= Buffalo Courier.
COLD WEATHER COMING.
Your majesty" said the attendant at
the Hawaiian court, "fuel is getting low
and we may have little frigidity in the
atmosphere ere long"
We may have whstr
"Why, your majesty-thst is to say
we may get froze out, and fuel Is
scarce"
Yes; and so is the cash in the treas
ury."
1T is, indeed
"Well, guess you might rs we'll 60
out in the woodshed anu get an AK.
Well carve few chunks out of the
throne for kindling wood. | always
knew it would come in handy some
time. " Washington Star.
THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR.
Nine. Newriche-I want first-class
passage 10 Havre.
The Agent of the Standard Line-Ics,
ma'am.
Nine. Newriche-And | insist upon
having a smoo'h passage, no matter what
the COST Chicago Record.
RESERVE.
Jaspar-A woman, as a rule, rather
enjoys seeing a man making fool OF
himself
Jumpuppe - That all depends on
whether it is for her or for some other
woman he displays his ioolIshness. -
Truth.
NO PUNISHMENT At ALL.
Frayed Fagin-Yes der Judge sint
me up to der workhouse for six months.
When gifts derc | wouldn't work and
den they puts me in strait jacket
Dusty Rhodes (sympathetioally)-Dat
muster bin tough.
Frayed Fagin enthusiastically -
Tough! Not much! Why, say, Dusty,
feller couldn't move in one o. dem
strait. jackets il he wanted to- Puck.
TRIPARTITE JEALOUSY.
"It's very happy little family, isn't
iti"
"Oh, dear, no, Her husband is jeal-
Gus of her poodle, and her poodle is jeal-
Gus of her baby, and the baby cries for
its father all the time. - Vogue.
THE BURGLARS SARCASM.
"Oh, YOU horrid mcn!" she shrieked.
IL know what you are. You're bur
glars"
"Well," exclaimed Bill Bludgeon, "ef
that amt like woman! No, marin,
yer mistaken. We han't burglars.
We're jes' company that hez to pologize
fur furgettin' ter bring long our calm
cards. See!"-lWashington Star.
INSIDE INFORMATION.
"Waiter, here's a quarter for yourself.
What dishes would you recommend to "A
fastidious man as being neatly prepared
here. don't you know"
"Thankee, sir, ! think the oranges
and the mixed nuts will be perfectly sat
isfactory IN that respect, sir"
DISCRIMINATING JUDGMENT.
Youugblood- Luifkins is a corker,
don you think?
JollybOy--On the contrary, Judging
from the tint OF his nose, should say he
was an un-corkcr. - Kansas City Journal.
JUST LIKE A MAN.
Bobby-Pop, what is reason2
Fond Parent-Reason, my boy, is that
which enables man 10 determine what
10 right.
Bobby-And what is instinct
Fond Parent-lnstinct is that which
tells a woman she is right whether she is
or not Brooklyn Life.
PROLONGED SUFFERING.
Mr.. Mcbride say that poor
WinebiGdle is dying by inches.
Mrs. Mcbride with deep concern lis
hel And he is such a tall young man,
too : Puck.
A PARADOX.
Jefferson-Didn't you say old Stingee
is a distant relative Of yours
Jack Borroe-Yes. But in money
matters / have always found him very
near Hello.
DIFFICULT ORDER.
A man with bald spot on the top Of
his head, and very little hair on the sides
of his Uranium, went into a Pittsburg
barber shop, and after the tonsorial ar
tist had shaved him, the customer was
asked:
Haircut, siri
Eyes, he replied.
GLOW will you have il cut. sirW
"Football style. - IPittsburg Chron-
icle.
NOVELTY And ECosOxY.
mpkins-Jugson's wife has novel
and economical idea about Christmas
presents.
Lumpkins-What is itl
"She intends to give Jugson pair Of
slippers this Christmas. - Bro wings
Monthly.