Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1893-07-06
s1xoN sTarNaza's RELIGION.

being a plain matter-of-fact man.
about whom there was no foolish
ness or sentiment. On more than
one occasion he had mortified his
wifeand daughters by hustling them
out of religious meetings when they
had begun to show signs of emotion.
He said he didn't believe in "mi-
rackerlous conversions, and that
people that cried and yelled over
getting religion wasn't gettin' it
by a durned sight" He believed
that the genuine article was sooth-
ing and calming, and not exciting
in its influence.
Once the Campbellites held pro-
tracted meeting in his neighborhood,
and as was in some way carried on
without any outbursts of feeling ST.
mon took kindly to it and attended
regularly. One Sunday morning
he told his wife to lay him out two
suits of clothes.
why, Simon,' exclaimed she, in
her shrill tones, whatever do you
want with two suits of clothes.
That's my business, not yours
he replied gruffly; You lay the
black suit out for me to put on, and
wrap the brown one up in a bundle,
and don't ask any fool questions.
His wife silently and wonderingly
complied, and Simon donned one
suit, and with the other under his
arm, mounted his horse and rode
away, followed by the anxious eyes
of the big and little Stringers, who
marveled greatly and said one to
another, What's dad goin to do
with his t'other clothes?'
Simon didn't return till supper
time. He took his place at the sup
per table, which was the usual sig
nal for the family to commence an
onslaughter upon the victuals. but
on this occasion his voice arrested
every arm in its decent, and for the
second time that day astonished the
1
Stringers. Glancing around the
startled circle, he thus delivered
himself.
Il want it understood that the
head of this household has this day
been baptised. He is follower of
the meek and lowly Jesus, and the
first critter at this table that dips
into anything afore u blessing is
asked, III git snatched baldbeaded.
Drop yer eyes, We heathen.'
The blessing was asked and the
meal was eaten in silence.
After the chores were done the
Stringers were stringing off to bel (,
when the stern voice of the old man
arrested them, and filled their minds
with grave forebodings as to what
was coming next.
He addressed them as follows:
Come into this room, every devil
of you, ank flop down on your knees.
1t is my duty as a devout Christian
to have a family worship, and I'll
have it too, and have respectful at
tention, or I'll bust some domestic
ties asunder. This mansion must
resound with praises to the Most
High or it'll resound with some one
gettin' - Of a thrashin' i
mean being severely chastised.
The first one who snickers or makes
any unseemly naise, I'll git up and
throw cheer through him or her,
as the case may be. Let us pray.
The prayer was prayed, and never
was there more attentive audience.
This sort of thing continued
about two weeks, and the Stringer
family was kept in a state of ex-
treme misery. The younger mem
bers had several times been severely
whipped for conduct unbecoming a
true believer, and the older ones had
received many harsh reprimands for
failing to fall in with the new order
of things and comport themselves
with due dignity.
| Then one morning Simon came
in, with bad limp, battered milk
pail and the knee of his pants torn.
Dropping in chair at the table, he
plunged his knife into the nearest
dish. The children looked up from
the backs of their plates question
ingly, and their mother squeaked
why, Simonv
Shut up and eat he growled