The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1893-07-01
What a Woman can do.

A certain philosopher tells US that a
woman can do many things that a man
would not attempt, and we must ac-
cept this assertion, as the few follow
ing paragraphs prove the truth Of
the same:
She can sharpen lead pencil-if you
give her time and plenty OF pencils.
She can throw stone with curve
that would prove fortune TO a base
ball pitcher.
When fellow proposes to her she
can say mo- in such sweet way that
it will often mean Eyes.
Ten of them can talk at the same
time and understand one another; no
two men could do the same thing.
She can pick up fifty pins in batch
and slap them in her mouth while a
man is scrambling around for one.
She can dance all night in pair of
slippers about two sizes too small for
her and enjoy every minute of the time,
She can arrive at the conclusion ofan
argument without the slightest troub-
lie of reasoning upon something
that no sensible man can do.
If man is so unfortunate as TO
tread on her dress in any public life
assemblage she can glare at him with
stare that viii make him quake in
his shoes.
She can make charge witha broom
stick on an old hen in her garden with
the vim and desperation of grenadier
of the Old Guard of Napoleon.
She can laugh with such sweet
tinge of sarcasm at the wit of BRAIN
less dude that straight way he mag
ines himself Daniel Webster in wis
dom.
She is as cool as a cake of ice in a
skirts while poor man is sweating.
Tuning and swearing in one loose mus
lin shirt and pair of linin trousers.
She can plant an ear-tingling slap
alongside of the face when you try to
kiss her without her consent with
quickness that would make an enraged
hornet hide himselfe with shame.
She can talk as sweet as honey to the
woman she despises, while two men
would in about five minutes be punch
ing each others heads and turning the
air blue with "cuss wordsr
She can attend church and after
ward tell you what kind of a dress and
hat every woman had on in the con-
gregation, and in one or two instances
can give you one or two words of the
text.
She can drive man wild for twenty
four hours in teasing him for new
spring bonnet. and then bring him
back to the gates of paradise in about
two minutes by simply tickling him
under the chin.
She can walk all night with a baby
with bad attack of, the cramp collie
without once expressing the desire to
murder the midnight bowler, while
the male parent would mistake the
carbolic acid for the paregorie.
She can throw herself into the arms
of her best fellow with such a graceful
motion and glance up into his face
with such winsome smile that he
concludes he is holding a saint in his
embrace, when, in realty, she is a reg
ular little vixen.
She can keep her best fellow waiting
below in the parlor for space Of two
hours while she performs the mysteries
of the toilet, and then descend and
greet him with such a sweet "Have |
kept you waiting long?" that his rising
feeling of animosity is scattered to the
winds and he imagines that she is one
of Rapheal's angels.
She can-but what is the use of pro-
ceeding further? She can generally do
anything she sets her heart and will
on and there is not living mortal son
Of Adam that can do the same.