The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-10-21
MY BROTHER ELIJAH.
v. 1 A,asn d Tale, " Ne c0Ionel b az.

". l. Alden IN Tl,es By the Colona IN Eaer
"Ineyer told you about my brother
the inventor, did I?' asked the colonel.
Speaking OF flying machines reminds
me OF him, Tor he invented seven OF
them, and one OF the lot was a stunning
success. Stunned one darkey, and came
very near stunning a whole camp meet
ing OF darkeys. My brother Lije-his
name was Eljah-was what you might
call 4 general inventor. He didn't stick
to any one line, such as electricity
for example, but he would in
vent anything from womHn's
pocket to 4 new motive power. lie in-
vented 4 pocket for n wom0n's skirt that
was warranted never to be found by tho
most expert piclpocket, and he put the
pocket in the skirt OF his wife's dress on
trial. She searched for it for about a
month-not all the time, you under
stand, but on an average three or four
| hours Il day-and then gave it up. She
said she could always find her usual
old-fashioncd pocket in the course OF q
week or ten DAYS, and that was rs much
| time us she could afford 10 waste on the
subject. As for Elijah's perpetual mo-
| ton machines, he invented a new one
at least every year, and the lott IN our
barn was always full OF them. Ot course,
they were failures, but that did not dis
courage Lie. You can't discourage a
born inventor--thaJ is unless he is in
the chemical line, and blows himself
up with some new kind OF dynamite.
| Lilies inventions were, to my mind, MS
smart rs thoseof Edison, but the trouble
with them was that for the most part
they wouldn't work. However, they
amused him, and did no harm to any
body.
"NIy brother was not in the least like
me in anything. He was short ana
stout, and tho best tempered man in the
state. Everybody liked him, especially
the darkeys, who said that there was no
more harm in him than If he was 4
child. I've seen him when he had Just
accidentally chopped of finger, or had
burnt all his hair oil and | never heard
him use the smallest swear word. VI
course, he never got married. A man
with that sort OF heavenly temper
doesn't need the discipline that other
folks need, and he was too much abb
sorbed in science TO have any time to
associate with other people. He spent
nearly all his time in his workshop,
monkeving with his inventions, and his
only companion was Il darkey boy, about
twelve years old, named Aristophanes,
who waited on him, and was SO fond OF
him that there is nothing that Lie told
him to do that Aristophanes wouldn't
do ii Lie had invented new guilIo-
tine, and wanted to try it on Aristo-
phane's neck, the boy would have con-
scented to have his head chopped OFT,
and would never have doubted that
Massa Lije'wouId put it on again with
out even leaving scar.
you were speaking OF this new fly
ing machine that somebody has Just in
vented, and that acts on the principle
OF kite. Resistance OF an inclined
plano to the air is what you called it,,
| but that means kite, and nothing else.
Why, Elijah invented that machine
forty years ago, and it was one oil his
greatest successes, the only one, in fact,
that | ever remember his making.
When l say that it was successful, l
! don't mean TO say that it was practlCa-
bic. 1t would rise, and it would carry
Il man with it, but it never came into
general use, for it was about impossible
to get the man down again without kill
| ing him. Newt TO Swiss excursion
steamboat, IL WAS the riskiest mode OF
loComotion ever invented.
"The way in which Lies machine
was constructed was very simple. You
must have seen what we boys used to u
spidcr-wcb kite. ltyou haven't, ! might
as wei! tell YOU that 1t is made with
| three sticks that cross one another ut
the same point in about the middle OF
the kite, or rather little above the
middle, and give the kite something the
shape and look OF big spider.web.
Lie was fond OF kite.ilying, and was al
ways trying TO make improvements IN
kite.building, which were naturally fail
ures, for you can be sure that the mil
lions OF boys that have boon making
kites ever since boys were tirst invented
know great sight moro about kites
than any scientific man knows.
"Elijah's flying machines was no.
thing moro nor less than the
biggest spidcr-web kito that was ever
built. The sticks were ash poles an
inch in diameter, and they were COW
cred with silk instead OF paper | for
get the exact dimensions OF. the kite,
but, according TO Lies calculations, it
would sustain hundred and fifty
pounds Of human being, in addition 10
its own weight and the weight
OF lis tail. The question OF the
exact amount OF tail that the kite
would require gave Lige good deal o!
trouble, but he solved 1t like man OF
science by sending up an ordinary kite
and finding by experiment how
much tail it needed, after which
he calculated by the rule OF three
how much tail to give his flying
machine. In order TO get the
necessary weight without too
great Length, the tail OF the fly
ing machine was made OF light iron
chain, and at the end OF it there was an
iron hook, so that q lanthorn could be
attached to it ut night. As for the
string that was to hold the kite, it was
about the size ola ships signal halyards,
and Lie calculated that it would bear
twice tho amount of any strain that
could possibly he put on it,
"Arlsiophaucs was to make the trial
trip, aud he was perfectly willing to 20,
never having the least doubt that
Massa Lie would secure him safe and
pleasant trip to tho moon or there
abouts. Lie fastened the boy in the
centre OF the kite, in about the posi-