Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1893-01-01


aud nothing q the kind yoG mention
VIII ever befail US i
And would il DO better II the cynical
philosopher supposed Is thus address
them succeeded IN convincing them u
their mistakes Suppose they turn back .
from the door where be encounters
them and leave the expectant person 70
wait for them IN saini As life goes on
and man and maid shriyel into anlddie
aged celibaey. 90 they bless that kind
friend who stood in their Way or DO
they curse him for ineadling fooli !
Probably the latter, for there Is no
proverb so pregnant with melancholy
truth as that there Is 10 cream SO rich
as that which rises or spilled milk" Mr..
Whittier put the same idea into prettier
phrase when he wrote:
OF al sad words OF tongue or pen
The saddest these-''it might have been"
But the idea is the same, and there is
no truer one aaoat. Whatever you do,
you will wish you had done the other
thing. Suppose. for instance, that you
are "A sensible man and have chosen
your wife as the Vicar Of Wakefield says
he did his partner, and she did her we'd
ding gown. not SO much for present at
Effectiveness as for its likelihood of wear
ing well, or suppose You are sensible
girl and accepted from among your
many suitors the one most likely To be-
come wealthy and 10 make for you and
himself such name and place III the
world as your ambition led You to desire.
Well, you two sensible persons are
married, and what is the result? Why,
you are both pining or grumbling or
scolding, as your temperament suggests,
because, having all that you bargained
for in your matrimonial venture, you
have not also secured quite another set OF
advantages which you had no right 10
expect. The man, tired and Disguised
with his day among his fellow men,
comes home with feeling that here is,
or should be. refuge from the selfish
ness, the hardness, the indifference to
his interests or pleasure, which have all
day surrounded him and kept his wits
upon the stretch lest some one should
get the advantage of him. He vaguely
and unconsciously expects to find SYM
pathy, tact, sweetness, forbearance and
tenderness enshrined within the pre-
cincts of the place he calls home, even
though it be but room in boarding
house. Well, he does not find them. and
he is cruelty, bitterly disappointed even
though he may not know just how or
why. He finds what he bargained for
a shrewd, capable partner of his purse
and prospects. not at all of his heart
and soul. She inquiries how his business
has gone; gives her opinion as to what
he has done, left undone or ought to have
done; puts her finger unshrinkingly upon
the weak spot which he has vainly tried
To hide from her, and when he confesses
that the man he trusted has disappoint-
ed and cheated him she calmly replies:
Il told you so, Really wonder you
will not take my advice sometimes about
these things"
And she?
Well, was there ever woman who
did not want somebody upon whose
shoulder she could cry her unreasonable
tears and be petted back into joyousness
and smiles? Was there ever a woman
who did not want mans Endorsement
upon the set of her new gown, and per-
haps the girdle Of mans arm around
the waist as he whispers that nothing
could help fitting well to so pretty a
figure or suiting SO sweet face? Some
of my readers who have made the other
kind of marriage from sensible one
will understand what / mean.
Well, the woman who has made the
sensible marriage would doubtless like
this sort of thing as well as her weaker
sister, and, although she may not know
what it is that is lacking, she feels the
lack, she frets and pines for she knows
not what, and finally, if she has good
luck, grows cold and hard an6 numl
and buries the best part of her woman
nature so deep that it ceases to trouble
her.
That is sensible marriage, but an
not prepared TO say that it is not prefer
able to love marriage, for the disap
pointments, if more whitening and hard
ening, are not so intense and not so ap
to lead to destruction.
In the love marriage both parties SCI
out with an absolutely impossible ideal
not only of the character and capabilitie!
of the chosen partner, but as to the con
6itions under which they are TO live TO
| gether. The marriage relation as for
| muIated by pair Of true lovers is on'
that never was aud never will bo real
lied on earth. and, rs we are told upon
the best authority that there are no mar
riages in heaven, we may fairly conclud'
| that it Ia absolutely ideal and never t
be realized anywhere. II Is pity, for
suppose the human mind is unable u
conceive OF anything more satisfactor'
than an ideal marriage-a husband no
bic, lofty, wise and powerful among
men. tender, deferential and protective
toward his wife-a sort of combination
of Napoleon. Solomon and Romeo.
do not now remember meeting sucl
8 gentleman, but he Is one well known
In feminine chateaux ON espagne. Wit
: such man Is mated. In the ideal mar
, rage. woman compounded Of Pencil
/. ope. Aspasia, Griselda. Recamier AM
the Joan vino saw no man in the worl'
tut her Darby. She Is endowed witt
beauty, wit. grace end sense enough Z
I make her an intelligent companion 70
her husband. yet feminine humilit.
F, enough to make her always look up t
! him as her head and lawgiver. She
. as good tempered as an angel, a. swee