The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1893-06-23

wAsHISeroN, ID. c., June 2l,
About four days ago struck this city
now Id is striking me, and very forci-
bly,, toot tits not doing me any dam
age, however. but effects me as Col.
Bob lngersoll used TO say about some
chnrch-going people who only made
confessions when surrounding efrcnni-
stances grew uncomfortably warm
That's Just about my trouble. Wash
ington, although the finest city in the
Union, with all its attractions, cannot
boast Of that healthfnlness and qiie-
tnde that makes our old Burg SO de-
sirable. Indeed, have been struck
so forcibly here by surrounding cir
cumstances twarIn weather. that ! am
only too glad to make any sort Of con-
fession. / try to tell the people here
that while their tin roofing and plate
glass windows are melting from the
suns heat, the people in Martinsburg
are filling ice houses and devising
plans TO avoid freezing to death. Well,
Of course they all believe it--and some
are already making preparations to
spend the warm months there. told
one fellow the other day that sun
flowers grew in our ice ponds, that we
never knew what mosquitoes were. that
we were 50 closely located to the
mountain that during the summer
months the sun never shone upon that
section, and weenioyed one continuous
mountain breeze that almost convinc-
ed one that the old Burg was para
disc. Well, the fellow was dumb
founded, and after awhile wanted to
know if the place wasn't first inhabit
ed by Adam and Eve. Of course, |
told him "Yes.n He went away final
#ly, and afterward heard he wound
up in the police stationhaving be
come insane over the fact that Sena-
tor Faulkner was a resident Of the
same place, The truth then leaked
out that he was an Office seeker To
talk Of the heat here only aggravates
one. Why, it's daily occurrence that
people are being sun-stroked, and melt
away before they can be carried IN
the shade.
So mnch for the delightful and soul
inspiring sunshine I Wen next say
something about the people. In doing
this | am doubtless justified, and per-
haps you'll agree with me. Our Burg
has large number Of congeniai com
panions in the way of cats and dogs,
but Washington takes the whole bake
oven for cats. Yesterday was near
ly suffocated with heat, and after
climbing a monument stairway about
half way toward the clouds, lay me
down for a quiet snooze. | made all
possible preparation for one Of those
rests we all read and dream about at
times. Well, fell asleep Immediate
~ on striking the bed. Just about
the time Was, dreaming Of that i'm
mense Office, with perhaps a $4,000
salary attached, which will nndoubted-
" be secured for me by Charlie Faux
ner and Billy Wilson. and Of course
Grover Cleveland and all the other
crowned heads Of this grand and
glorious government,) screnade
struck up with about forty pieces.
Naturally awoke as from a dream.
1t didn't sound much like the Marine
Band then trouble beganto brew
and discord arose. | went to the win
dow and looked out. On a large shed
tin roof the gay company had assem-
bled, and besides representing every
color of catdom, they also represented
about fifteen blocks of the neiglbor-
hood in number. at once set about
devising some plan to get rid of them.
There wasn't any boot-jacks about the
room, and of course it wouldn't do to
throw the furniture out. so began on
shoes, etc. Hardly had / commenced
until water, shoes, sticks, etc. began
to pour out from at least a half dozen
windows. wasn't the only one dis
turbed. However, they were driven
off, and managed to get some sleep.
Politics 7 Why the hot weather has
but little, if any, effect on the Office
seekers. True, it has given the repre-
sentatiyes a good excuse for leaving
the city, but only to be all the more
| bothered upon their return. Every
man / meet first asks if am West
Virginian, giving as his reason that ]
look as though had been sick, and
that all sick looking people in the city
where ofice-seekers from that state
that they came here in healthy condi.
tons, but went away very i'll. ! told
him that the shoe fit me exactly with
the exception that | had been very i'll
for about three weeks prior to coming
here, that it was brought about by
anxiety for fear ! would not know
know whatto do with the $4,000 sal
airy attached to my Office. When
say my Office youwill please understand
i mean the one Charlie Faulkner would
| not secure for any one else but me
That fellow leftme by saying he would
" call again, when he would like tt
learn the secret Of success. He was {
| West Virginian too, and on thu
strength of this went TO the Norman
die Faulkner's headquarters and en-
gagged board until Faulkner's return
The question is as to who will be the
most successful, the applicant or th'
hotelf
| Senators and Congressman are very
important characters just at present
AT the request of a friend in the ole
Burg, who is laboring under the i'm
preston that his application has beef
properly endorsed and filed, Gale,
at the department with Congressman
and found it more con