Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-11-12

1t is very hard for an American gen.
| tleman to know how TO treat q valet.
| I've had Clarence two weeks now, and
all that he has done so far was TO reach
up my back for a suspender that had
escaped me. He said he could shave
me when l engaged him, and he could
| IL | did not regret IL so after be did IL.
| He got me in a chair upholstered with
| horse hair cloth, and which l fell out
OF twice while he was working my face
into place by means Of my nose, then
he shaved me with q razor that was
captured during the Crimean war, and
/ can truely say that Plum Levi, Patton
avenue, Asheville. North Carolina,
U. S. A., In his best flights Of genius
could not approach Clarence. Plum
might have been as gifted.i in the matter
OF torture, but he never had the preced-
ing generations OF that sort OF thing TO
help him.
I've a good notion to retire Clarence
for he has got after all q degree OF ap-
petite and dignity which makes people
mistake him for the gentleman Of the
two. Possibly it's partly. too, because
I'm Is years younger than he and nat
uralIy more frlsksome and debonair.
The second morning after | took
these lodgings / did not get my boots
sometimes called shoes) from the black
er down stairs, and so | went down nv
self, The blacker said that be did not
black servants shoes. He mistook me
for Clarence:
A kind Creator rave Clarence dignity
to make up for his gnRwing hunger.
/ let him eat with me, for | actually
suffer when l have to eat alone. The
kind, hospitable E%nglishman looks out
for my dinners, but the breakfasts are
especially lonesome without Clarence,
He has done Valeting for others, among
them an American and two Australians.
He likes me the best, he says, because
/ am q better provider. Al he sort OF
directs my diet so that l won't get the
govt, which threateded me for 10 days
and nights, he makes suggestions which
suit him.
For breakfast We take q sole, with q
boiled egg, toast, coffee and possibly
some liver and bacon, with Apollinaris,
which Is ivepence the bottle, Then for
lunch at 1870 we have a beautiful mack
erel-not q fossil mackerel, with his
bosom full OF brine, but q tender, blue
eyed mackerel, with q radiant compiler
ion and genuine good feeling. Then a
big, Juicy steak, with brown gravy. Oh
sir, me eyes, but that steak and that
gravy make England look good 70 me,
and / am willing to let bygones be by
cones. Then there is fine old stilton
i'll -L.e saoA 40 rall a oRaru-
er, bat now q biscuit. Also celery and
brussels sprouts. with a bottle OF Bur-
gundy, because water here Is only used
externally.
Then al $3.50 we have dinner. / have
the name OF paying for It aud Clarence
eats IL. 1t is fine brolled fish after
some anchovies and pea soup. Then q
Joint and q bird with q bottle OF Moselle
and swests. Sweets are mostly tarts
I've never eaten one. The look like q
medallion in paste and g~ooseberry, and
I've often thought that II her most gra-
cIous majesty the queen Of Great Britain,
empress Of. India and tanner OF Ireland
would some day while I'm up a. her
place for dinner decorate me with one
Of them, I'd wear it on my breast for
ever.
saw Sir Edwin Arnold q few days 10
P~iccadilly, aud the following day saw
a column or W devoted by him In The
TeIeqrah to America, and generally TO
local songs like the "SWanee River"
comparing our local songs nth those Of
the Scotch, the Irish, Frene1, Italian,
and so forth. When be says our scenery
Is ''stringy." however, l say that his
own is very tart. Here follows Arnold's
piece:
ssThese thoughts came to me-, rsmem-
hering something that happened I .
long Journey which / took last year be-
tween New York aud New Orleans. go
ing round By the south and following
what Is called by enterprlsing railway
advertisers there the "Sunset route"
Train travelling in the states is wonder
fully well organized and fairly comior-
table for long trips, bat it cannot be