The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-10

The one thing he most objects to is what
he calls "love and all such tommy rot,
don't you know Which means that be-
ing incapable of an unSefsh feeling, he
doesn't trouble himself about anybody.
he thinks you a fool because some cold
day you give coin to some wretehed,
ragged looking woman, and he starts in
To tell you that she is a fraud and that
you ought to report her, and he sees no
argument in the fact that whether she is
a fraud or not the woman is cold, and
that as to her honesty, why give her the
benefit of the doubt He thinks it is
perfectly ridiculous for a man to be in
love with woman, and as for children,
nasty little beasts, he wonders why they
are not put in barrels until they are
trained into being nice young men and
nice young women.
HE Is T1REsoME AND OBJECTIONABLE
IN every one of his moods, but most of all
when he is declaiming with smart air
on the folly of belief. He is more bias
phemous than Tom Paine, and hasn't half
as much brain as the puppy born last
month that is learning from its mother to
sit quietly while the babies are saying
their prayers.
He prefaces all his conversation by say
ing, "A young man like me, and then the
women look at him and wonder by what
right he calls himself man Yet he is
here-he is all over New York In my
heart of hearts, believe l prefer the
bully to him. The bully started out with
a bit Of heart, and larger bit of brain,
and even he sometimes repents. cannot
understand from what the nice Young
Man results. Sometimes I think he
growed. Sometimes l think he is the re-
suit of generalization. Sometimes I
think-well, wouldn't dare to tell you
what l think. but Darwin's theory has a
great deal to 60 with it. l have heard
him humble over a bit OF cake and a cup
of tea, just as well-trained monkey
would over something that he liked, and
] have seen him initiate the girls in the
movements of his hands, just as I have
seen a marmoset initiate man. Really,
1t makes one quite nervous about the fu-
ture. What will be the result of him,
MONKEY OR A MANI
he hasn't the immortality of a monkey,
but he has all of his cunning; he hasn't
the brains of a man, but he is built like
him IN miniature. Really, one is forced
to mourn the dude when one meets the
nice Young Man. He is very modest; he
thinks it isn't quite nice to read books
that haven't nice words in them; conse-
quently, Shakespeare, Congreve, Wych-
erly, Smollett, and all the writers who
followed after them are unknown to him.
He doesn't think it is quite nice TO refer
" SOAh6 uHpI6dStub u3DllS El2Hb OUT III
open words, consequently he likes the
Bible and the Arabian Nights" revised.
He doesn't think that it is quite
nice to know much; vulgar people,
who study and read books, and,
worst of all, write them; do that
sort of thing. He says he remembers his
mother saying that girls name ought
only to be in the newspaper three times
in her life-when she was born, when she
ne ~ FsrG T 4 nh, tod
he adds, "it that is true of girl, how
much truer it is Of a thoroughly nice
Young Mani" He knows there are men
who discover countries, who, as he says,
fiddle up things and bring out queer mix
lures, that they say are scientific discov-
cries; but, after all. these are not the
young men one would wish to know.
They are quite as likely to have dirty
hands as not, and to be thoroughly I'M
pleasant.
He once went to a mans dinner, did
this nice Young Man, and he was quite
Mortified Not because anything was
told that would make him blush, but be-
cause the men got so excited in talking
about currents and about a prince who
threw no end of bottles in the water.
bottles that had leather slips with a re-
quest written upon them that wherever
they came to shore they would be sent
back to him. He thought it was unutter-
able stupid for prince to do this sort of
thing, and though he wouldn't like it
told generally, still it did seem to him
that no prince who troubled himself
about such nonsense could be really
well don't you know really, quite nice
young man. Why not let his servants do
it, Why not hire people who studied up
such rot to work it out, and then he
added: MY dear boy, never want to
go with those bad men again, it is such
bad form to get excited"
GIRLS DO NOT MARRY THESE IDIOTS.
1t is pity that the nice Young Man
isn't spotted at his birth, for then the
wise doctor, recognizing him, could chic
reform him. l wish the mothers of the
present day would look at the nice Young
Man from my standpoint [ think if he
came to see a girl of mine, and were an
able-bodied man, should either kick all
OF the sense he had out of him, or else
kick little into him. To put it plainly,
he is an effeminate fool, and fools are a
thousand times more dangerous than
knaves. like man who is young, who
is enthusiastic, who is good-looking and
who is well-dressed. Every woman does.
even if she is on the shady side of 90,
but the thing that is presented under the
name of the nice Young Man isn't manly,
isn't nice, and is abnormal
The girl of to-day wants to marry
man; one who is stronger in brain and
body than she is, for there are times
when, in this woman ridden country, she
requires either mental or a physical
beating, and her man and master ought
to be able to give it to her. rather like
that old Saxon way of calling a husband
My man" for it presupposes strength
and respect and love given to that
strength. No woman would ever call the
nice Young Man that. 1t rests with the
women to decide whether he shall con
think they would veto him without
dissenting voice. He has nothing to com
mend him and everything against him.
Why will I continue to think about Oar
VIM He stands before you, my dear, you
the beauty of the day. He stands among
your admirers. Which are you going to
choosel The man or the monkey2
Bah.