Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-09-03

Temperance pledgef" queried one ot
his palhd victims.
You're shy on that guess" quoth the
drummer with unmoved features.
Sweetheart bluG "lntorrogated sec
ond victim.
the abstemious wonder
Then what is II Z questioned a chorus
of the deacon's satellites.
"Ilsten. said the drummer as he swiped
four handfuls OF pretzels and scOoped
up the remaining pound OF cheese. LIS
ten. and We shall hear" The deacon fas-
tened himself on 10 4 straw, which nest
led among the mint. while the victims
blew away the froth and prepared TO hear.
lit was only last summer" said the
drummer. but shall never forget IT.
We were travelling on the cars, the other
bows and /, and all went merry as a we'd
ding bell until We reached that desert.
And then. IN an arid, subscribed space,
the tram broke down and there we stop
ned Hour after hour passed, a1d the SIT
nation renamed unchanged. IL was too
blarsted. beastiy hot to get out and walk,
and there wasn't house for miles
What did you do" eagerly asked the
drumrner's audience.
I'VE decided to take drink" was the
solemn response. -,
Yes we decided to take drink. One
of our gang got up in tins ear and address:
INC the passengers, said: Have any of
YOU gentlemen little whiskeyE Every
man in the smoker produced a bottle, so
we were all right there"
A little sugar, please next SAID the or
ator.
What about that mintY' asked our
A thoughtful gentleman who always
travels in comfort produced bouquet of
ths lovely flower"
Now for the water" joyously shouted
our self-improvIsed barkeeper. "Ah,
here it is in the cooler. Now, boys, you
push pins while your Uncle Fuller gets
everything ready"
And then our chief engineer went yig-
orously TO work. Suddenly he uttered a
howl of dismay. why, this water is
warm, II won't do TO mix---get me some
lce.(to the newsbov who was licking his
chops). The urchin went of, but soon
came back with a long face and said:
There isn't piece on the tram. 0 the
anguish--the bllghted hopes-that this
statement created.
"Iwould give FIVE dollars for pound OF
ice.n said our leader.
"A little Dutch passenger whom we had
sized up as peddler leaned over to me
and said: "Wot vas dot" funf dollors
fur elm pund OF ice---I Will get dot ice
melnself."
Then hump yourself and get It," cried
the thirsty passenger.
The Dutehman waddled off. and none
knew where be went. Soon he came back
and with HIM was one pound OF sparkling,
cooling ice. "Ah. how we enjoyed those
drinks, said the drummer TO the deacon.
But pretty soon We wanted another and
ordered Dutchy to get more Ice. "Neln,
nein, nicht. kann nieht das thun," replied
the chubby foreigner in his native tongue,
but We begged---ws beseeched---we i'm
plOred. and finally be disappeared again,
and then came back with another but 9
smaller chunk of the cooling article. The
juleps disappeared again. but confound
II, we got thirsty once more. This time
tue DutohInan wouldn't hear to getting
any more ice. Our prayers were In vain.
''Mein gott, ich muss nicht---ich. kanu
nicht," excitedly exclaimed the foreigner
why can't you. why can't youy---here's
fifteen dollars for another piece.
''Nein. nein, mein Bruder say dot dc
corpse won't keep"
a hush fell over the whole train. and
then, one by one, No slinked out and
kicked ourselves. That Dutehman had
his dofunct father on the ice we were eat.
ing
''Na, l don't drink---not on your life
DON'T" concluded the drummer. as he ca.
ressingly punched the deacon IN his sancti
ned ribs.
TIE IDLE REPoRTEs.