davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
The Moorish Cure For Rheuma
tiSm.

In Fee there are fire doctors, who sit
in the more frequented streets waiting
for rheumatic patients. Each doctor has
a little furnace. pair Of bellows and a
number Of curiously-shaped iron rods
before him. When not operating, he
solemnly and incesssntly reads boo <
Of one sentence
There is no God but God, and No
hommed is his prophet"
When a patient appears, the doctor
lays down his book, blows mp his fire
with his bellows, and sticks into the
Goals several Of the rods, which are
about two feet long and have queer knobs
and hooks on their heated ends While
waiting for these to get hot he constant "
repeats his one sentences.
When all is ready, the patient pays his
fee, lies down on his face and draws his
clothing up on his back. ~In tie name
Of God, SAYS the FIRE doctor, ali passes
q redhot iron with great deliberation
over various parts ofthe back. Il makes
a sizzling noise, and a smell Of burned
flesh fills the air. Meantime a crowd Of
men have collected % witness the opera
ton. They necessarily pass their fingers
through their boards and praise God and
Mohommed,
Frequently the patient after one opera
ton lies still for awhile, perhaps wait
ing FOR another twinge OF the disease. II
it comes, he perceives that he is not
quite cured, and demands another in
stallment Of the treatment for which be
pays another fee Youths CgmDad0a.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Bill Flicker as a Cariope.

Ore Of The most singular men l ever
knew" said a wealthy retired circus man
to N. Y. S,su reporter, was canvas
man in the first show I ever owned His
name was Bill Flicker, and his singulari-
" lay in his voice he was the londest
taiker I ever knew. He disturbed every
body when he talked, and if he talked
a. night heaiways woke up the animals
This once came very near getting rs into
serious trouble. The giraffe one day bit
at a little child who had approached too
near his cage, and he never would have
done this in the world il he had not
/ been made irritable by being kept awake
nights hearing Bill talk. There were
times when we thought We would have
10 get rid Of Bill, but be was a good
hearted man, and he did twice as much
work as anybody else. and so we kept
him. and the time came when We were
very glad We dill. Our steam ealliODe,
one of the frst ever used, was . great at
traction. We always billed it very strong
as a leading feature Of the street parade'
and it pleased the people immensely. We
we're at that time in the far west In
those days there was in every far west
ern town a considerable number Of in
tensely emotional people who were al
ways sure 10 make a great row if things
didn't 60 % please them. While We
were in one of these towns our calliOPe
broke down and the engineer was una
bic to repair it in time. We dragged It
in the procession, but the people were 50
enraged ct not hearing it play that they
shot the horses. At the next town the
calliope was still out OF repair and We
expected that the people there would
wreck the show, but al the last moment
just as the parade was about to start, Bill
Flicker stepped forward and said
Colonel, I'll be the ca!liope'
They took the inside out Of the CALI
ope and put Bill in. The player took
his lace and worked the keys and Bill
talked. After that nobody ever thought
Of discharging Bill Flicker. He disturb
ed the animals, but he had saved the cir
Gus"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
How Mr.. Depew Got up a
Speech.

The death Of the Rev. Thomas
Vermilye, who for fifty years was
chaplain Of the New York ST. Nicholas
Society, recalls an incident in which q
well known Brooklyn man and Chauncy
NJ Depew figured.
Doctor Vermilye had for many years
spoken to the toast Holland" at the
annual dinner Of the organization named.
some eleven years ago, and on the morn
ing Of the day set for the banquet, he
was taken IN, and notified the Dinner
Committee that be would be unable TO
make his wanted oration-
Att O'Clock on the same day. Depew
entered the office Of John y. Niekols,
Il Broadway, New York, wearing a
worried expression and a perspiration-
bedewed forehead.
"Nickols" ne said, "Tm in a fix, and
want you to help me out. These St.
Nicholas people have Just wired me that
in the absence of DR.. Vermilye they
look 10 me to respond to Holland ;
don't know the first thing about the
subject and its o'clock"
"Well," said Mr.. Nickols.
"Now,T went on Depew, Just you take
me by the arm and walk me up Broad
way to Twenty-third street D1a't talk
to me and don't expect NE to talk 20
YOU. just steer me around the people,
mind don't get run over az the cross
ings and 20 slow. That's all want you
TO do"
Mr.. Nickols did as requested, and the
pair did not exchange a word until
Twenty-third street was reached at
5.l5 P. N.
~Thankee,7 said Mr.. Depew as he
parted with his friend: 81 guess I'm
all right"
At 80 p. m. the first thing that the
eye of Mr.. Nickols met, as he sat down
at the dinner table, was the bland,
unrufiied, smoothly shaven face Of De-
pew. Tie speech that he made later is
yet a delightful tradition in the annals
of the St. Nicholas Society. Il vas
choek full Of Wit, fact, figures and senti-
ment. Nobody but Mr. Nickols dream
ed that it had been conceived, shaped
and born amid the riot and roar Of Broad
way.-BD0k'yn Cdr9gicis
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
EFT, PA, WEDNESDAY, JUNE IA, 1898.
Fighting a Ground Hog.

Just about grounding day." which
all weli-informed people know to be
Feb. ., a New Jersey farmer heard a
flock Of crows making big fuss in a field
near the woods. The farmer investigat-
ed and found the cause Of their disturb
anee 10 be ground hog looking for
something 70 eat For some reason the
crows resented the appearance of the lit
tie animal and assailed him on every
side with sharp beaks and claws. . As
good luck would have it, the grounding
Was near his hole, and in he went in a
hurry.
His sudden disappearance caused sur
prise and CONSERVATION among the crows
and for a time they flew around wildly.
Then they held council, with the re
suit that two old crows few to the top Of
rail fence a few feet from the buIrow
as sentinels, while the Others flew some
distance away.
Ten minutes elapsed and then the
grounding reappeared. Instantly the
sentinels eawed the signal, and the main
army came flying, but the animal was
too quick and lodged into his home.
The exasperated crows Immediately
fell to work, and in the course Of 10 min
utes plugged up the hole with dirt and
stones. Then they INDUCED in a chorus
Of exuItation and were having joyous
time when one old crow gave a terrible
cav Of rage.
He had discovered the grounding sit
ting on a knoll 80 feet away, having
emerged from the other end of his bur
row.
Then there was another council of war,
and the farmer expected to see another
attack, but it soon became evident that
the crows were disheariened, and after
awhile they arose as one bird and with a
Few faint hearted caws flew 10 the woods
and disappeared, thus acknowledging
that the grounding was smarter than
they.-Goliss Ddgs.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Ancient Food.

I have eaten apples that ripe ned more
than 1900 years ago, bread made from
wheat grown before the children Of Isra-
el passed through the Red Sea, spread it
with butter that was made when Eliza
beth was Queen of England, and wash
ed down the repast with wine that was
old when Columbus was playing bare
footed with the days Of Genoa" said q
gentleman at the club the other day.
The remarkable spread" was given
by an antiquary named Gorbel, in the
city Of Brussels, in 1871. The apples were
from a jar taken from the ruins Of Pom
peii, that buried city, to whose people We
owe our knowledge of canning fruit
The wheat was taken from a chamber
in one Of the smaller pyramids. the but
ter from stone shelf in an old well in
Scotland, where it had lain in an earth
enware crock, in icy water, and the wine
came from an old vault in the city OF
Corinth.
There were six guests at the table, and
each had a mouthfnl Of the bread and q
teaspOonfnl of the wine, but was per-
rsitted to help himself literally to the
butter, there being several pounds of it.
The apple jar held about two-thirds Of
gallon, and the fruit was as sweet and
the flavor as fine as though put up yes
terday.-Chicag0 Tribune.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Had a Good Hold.

had stopped to smoke a pipe with a
Georgia cracker on log at his door,
and noticing the general shiftlessness OF
the surroundings finally asked:
Why don't you tix the roof of your
cabin p"
"Gwine ter some day ne replied.
That chimney ought to be rebuilt"
I'm a eonsiderin' to do it"
I should be afraid that stable would
fall down and kill the mule"
Reckon I've got to prop IT,"
"The weeds appear to be too much for
your corn"
" Yes weeds is powerful around yere
de was 50 placid and good-natured
about it that I ventured further and said:
at seems TO me that with ambition
and hard work you could not only make
4 good living on this place, but get some
thing aheadS'
g could, for suah, he answered.
Then why don't you do it,"
q" Naitin'"
Waiting for what -
Waitin' fur to git that ambishun you
spoke off,
And do you think youTl ever get it?"
He reflled his pipe, lighted it and slid
of the log to get a brace for his back.
When he had got comfortably settled he
queried
Stranger, yo' dOan' live around yere
l reckon %
No"
Cause if 20 did you'd diskiser that :
hev a might good thing Of it as it is and
would be fool to let it 90 for somethin.
new
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Be Your Own Doctor.

For one dollar get bottle Of Mayors
Magnetic Catarrh Cure. It viii last for
three months, and is absolutely guaran-
teed by your druggist
Doctors say the only way TO cure ca
tarrh and hay fever is by inhalation. We
have worked for years to accomplish a
good, simple method for inhaling medi-
cine, and offer Mayors Magnetic Catarrh
Cure, which is used by this new method,
to the public, and guarantee it to cure
any ease, no matter Of how long stand
ing. One bottle IS all you need to ac-
eomplish a cure. Il viii last for three
months. Ask your druggist or address
The Mayer Drug Co., oakland, Nd.
For sale by q. w. BESFoRD and J. VI.
LoUTHER, Somerset, Pa, and DAVID GID
SER, lockwood. Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Political oratory in Texas.

q heard a political speech down in
Texas last fall said 4. Z. Gaines, Of
Gainesville, in that state, to a Washing
ton Poe reporter, "that wOuld have i'm
pressed our eastern critics with the belief
that all the DepeNs, Choates and Tom
Reeds are nQt born east Of the Missis-
sippi. was in the northern Rio Grande
country-a wild, sparsely settled section
Of the state-and ran into little town Of
about 200 people. There was to be a
grand political rally and joint debate
The first speaker was q fair talker,
populist. He gave Us an hour or 50 Of
talk on suppression, monopoly, etc, and
then Democrat took the platform. He
knew no statistics he scorned figures,
facts and argument He rolled up his
sleeves pulled of his bat and began
hammering with his fist.
Gentleman Of the great state Of Tex
as, are you aware Of who's been talkiu'
slush about the greatest party ever God
created bein' in cahoots with robbers en-
thieves en- such fur one solid hour? An
outlaw from Mizzouri that dassant show
his yeller hide in the town where he
wuz born-a man that fur a - bill
would swear that he wuz a bosom friend
Of George Washington; that the father
Of his kentry kept a slaushterhouse III
the San Pecos valley, and then would
turn right around, 90 to Mount Vernon
and dug up his bones an use EN- for
fertilizers. An his party Why, gentle
men Of the great state Of Texas, that
little handful of one-gutted bellyachers
called populists no more compares with
the mighty hosts that fight Under the
nag of eternal democracy than the feeble
grow of lightning bug compares TO the
glorious efulgence ofthe midday sun ~
That was only starter. he kept it
up for an hour. Did it take? Il carried
the counfvn
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
From Friend to Friend

Goes the story Of the excellence Of Hoods
Sarsaparilla and what it has accomplish
ed, and this is the strongest advertising
which is done on behalf OF this medi-
cine. We endeavor to tell honestly what
Hoods Sarsaparilla is and what it viii do
bat what it has done Is far more import
ant aud far more potea5. It's uneqnaled
record Of cures is sure 70 convince those
who have never tried Hoods sArsaParil-
Ia that It is an excellent medicine.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Strength and Health.

If you are not feeling strong and heal
thy, try Electric Bitters. fla Grippe"
has left you weak and weary, use Elect
ric Bitters. This remedy acts directly
on Liver, Stomach aud Kidneys, gently
aiding those organs to perform their
functions. II you are afflicted With Sick
Headache, you will fad speedy and per
manent relief by taking Electric Bitters.
One trial will convince you that this is
the remedy you need. Large bottles on
ly 80 cents at ]. n. snyder's drug store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

I have been troubled with chronic ca
tarsh for years. Ely's Cream Balm IS
the only remedy among the many that
have used that affords me relieL-E. II.
Willard, Druggist, Joliet, Ills.
I have been troubled with catarrh for
ten years and have tried a number Of
remedies. but found no relief until l pur-
chased bottle Of Ely's Cream Balm.
consider it the most reliable preparation
for catarrh and cold in the head.-Geo.
+. Crandall, P. NJ. QuonOchawntaag, r..
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Knew Her Hubby.

Mosher-Is your letter to your husband
ready to mail?
Married Daughter-It's all done ez-
cepting the postscript, telling him to send
me some more money. I'm looking for
another sheet Of paper.
Write il across the lines,
No indeed. Hell pretend ne could
not read il.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

During the preEalznee Of the Grippe
the past seasons it was a noticeable fact
that those who depended upon DR..
Kings New Discovery, not only had a
speedy recovery, bat escaped AL Of the
Troublesome after effects Of the malady
This remedy seems 20 have a peculiar
power in eil-cting rapid cures not only in
cases OF La Grippe. bot IN all Diseases Of
Throat. Chest and Lungs, and has cured
cases Of Asthma and Hay Fever Of long
standing. Try it and be convinced. 1t
won't disappOint. Free trial bottles at J.
\. snydeF's Drug Store.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

The following item, clipped from the
Fl. Madison, Iowa Delaocraf, contains
information well worth remembering:
@Mr. John Roth, Of this city, who met
with an accident few days ago, sprzin-
ing and bruising his leg and arm quite
severely, was cured by one 50 cent bottle
Of Chamberlain's Pain Balm" This
remedy is without an equal foF sprains
and bruises and should have place in
every household.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
FARM AND HOME.
LOST MY BOY.

LOST have lost him.
When did ne goe
Lightly olaspsd.
how could I know,
Out OF my dwelling
he would depart,
Even as I held him
Close tony hesrt
Lost have lost him.
Somewhere between
School house and college
Last he was seen
Lips faH OF whistling,
Curl tangled hair
Lost l have lost him.
Would I knew where.
Lost I have lost him,
Chester, my boy
Picture book, story book.
Marble and 10Y,
stored in the attic,
Useless they lie.
Why should I care 50 muchs
Mothers tell why
Yes, he has gone from me,
Leaving no sign.
But there's another
Gals himself mine.
Handsome and strong OF limb,
BrilHan; IS he,
Knows things that know not.
Who can ii be-
Face like the father face,
Eyes black a mine,
step fun OF manly grace,
Voice masculine,
Yes, but the gold Of life
Has one alloy
Why does the mother heart
Long for her boy
Long for the mischievi2us,
Queer little chap,
Ignorant, questioning,
Held in my lap,
Freshman, 50 tall and wise,
Ans Wer me this
Where Is the little boy
used 70 kiss-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Spinning wheels are not altogether
things OF the past Go down into Corn
wall or Wales, or up to the Scotch high
lands, and you viii find plenty Of cot
tages where the spinning wheel is as
much piece Of useful household furni-
ture as are the scrubbing brush and the
kitchen broom.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Rome Rediyivus seems 10 be Signor
Cpispi's dream, for he has Just declared
that the Eternal Cisy win one day carry
the true conception of civilization and
liberty into The whole world.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
ChamberIain's Eye and Skin
Ointment

A certain cure for Chronic Sore Eyes,
letter, Salt Rheum, Scald Head, Old
Chronic Sores, Fever Sores, Eczema, Itch,
Prairie Scratches, Sore Nipples and
Piles. 1t is cooling and soothing Hun
dreds Of ozses have been cured by it az
ter all other treatment had failed- II Is
pat up in p and 80 cent boxes
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Just as sure as hot weather comes
there Will be more or less bowel COM
plaint in this vicinity. Every person and
especially families ought to have some Ie-
liable medicine at hand for instant use in
case it's needed. A > or 50 cent bottle
Of Cham beriain's Colo, Cholera and Di-
arrhUa Remedy is Just what you ought
70 have and all that yOu would need ,
even FOR the most severe and dangerous
cases. II Is the best, the most reliable
and most successful treatment known
and is pleasant to take.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
A YOUNG GIRLS FORTUNE.
AN INTEREsTINe sKgTcH.

Nothing appeals 50 strongly 10 Q mothers
affection as her daughter Just buuulu- INT
WOmanhood. Following Is an instance cuf
daughter. Blanche, now = years ot are, l1d
beenterribiy afflicted with Eervuusne>ss anC
had lnStfhe entire use Of her TiCht arm she
vas such a condition that NC had 10 kecf
her from school ana abandon her music te--
sons. In fact. We feared -. kitEs dance. aua
are positive but for an invaluable remedy
she would have lad that terrible af-iciion
We had employed physicians, lut shc rcceiNCd
no benefit from u. The first OF last August
she weighed bul pounds. and altafugE SHE
las taken only three bottles @ Ncra iiic size
now weighs lo5 pounds; Ler ncryuus.ess ana
-Fmnfouis OF -t.A Aitus dance Drs- elIiireil gone
She attends school regularly and studies Nitl
comfort and ease. She has recovered complete
u-e Of her aFm. her appetite J. spieneld- ana
no money coIid procure for cur l'-C-htei tie
health Ilr. Miles Nervine ha> brought htf-
When my brother recommended llic rem
efy had no faitE in patent medlcIhe-, iiiiu
would not listen - him. but q q last resort
he sent u q bottle, We began EirlnE D. @
Blanche and tlc C.fert was almost l1-t.cGi-
ate"-Nrs. -. X BulO-k Brighton y J /.
Dr. Miles Restorative ,serrine Is sclo > all
druggist Or q positive guarantee, CT - NJ
direct by She Dr. Mics Medlc1- Co, J. ssl-ai'
ind. on receipt of prlce, ! Ter Iuffls, tx
hlstic- for 3 eEprlss prcpa O. lt = PCS ,lstly
free lugn oEiares o. dluEc-1t- eiCls-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

The wife-Do YOU really love me more
and more every day p
The husband-Yes. darling, for You
do not play the piano nearly as much as
yOu used to.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
Bucklen $ Arnica Salve.

The best Salye in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores. letter, ChaPPed Hands, Chill
biains. Corns. and ali Skin EruptiOns,
and positively cures Piles, OF no pay re-
qnired. Il Is guaranteed to give perfect
satisfaction. or money refunded. Price
25 cents per box. For sale by J. \. Sny-
der.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Hon. W. y. Lucas, Ex-State Auditor Of
Iowa, saws have used Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy in my family and have
no hesitation in saying it is an excellent
remedy. 1 believe all that is claimed
for II. Persons afflicted with a cough or
cold will find it friend" There Is no
danger from whooping cough when this
remedy is freely given. = and SO cent
bottles for sale.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Why DO they have so many tine oil
paintings in saloons nowadays?
&c Probably because water colors
would be inappropriate.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

II do think Hoods Sarsaparilla Is worth its
weightin gold.' For four years suffered misery
with terrible pains in my back and trouble with
ny kidneys. The doctors thought had Bright's ;
disease Many q time I had % give up y ork,
and continually grew worse. and when sat or
stopped down ] had 70 be helped up At last
had 10 give up and 60 70 bed and remain si0 long
weeks. II was then l began % take ltood's 3
Sarsaparilia. and soon found that lt WAS help
ing me although I lad been told nothing would
help me and thought
Would Have to Die.
But continued 70 improve TIL an now in per-
feet health and have as good back as any man
in town. Today ] can do q good days work.
and truly feel that Hoods Sarsaparilla was a
GOd-seld 10 me. l am as sound as The best dol
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

A vegetable boa constructor" has been
discovered in India It will so tsine
round huge trees as to destroy them in a
short time.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Old Grimes-aullO, Bab, what ye DO
in with that big dog2
Smart Boy Can't you see. I've got
reins on him, an a whip. I'm out driv-
in.
Old Grimes-Blt ye hain't got no wag-
on.
Smart Boy-His tail is waggin, Amt
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Regarding Hoods Sarsaparilla, ask the
people who take this medicine, OF read
the testimonials often published in this
paper. They viii certainly convince you
that Hoods Sarsaparilla possesses une-
qualed merit, and that Hoods Cures.
Hoods Pills cure constipation by re-
storing the peristalic action Of the ali
mentary canal They are the best fami-
ly clthartic.
"What led you % 20 on the stage p
asked the youth Of the tragedian.
Economy" was the answer.
Economy r.
Yes. 1 have thereby saved the
price Of an indefinite but large number
Of haircuts.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Rich relatives are apt to be very close
relatives and distant ones too.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

KIAIAlELL,

,z-z1 bis professional services 20 the citizens
,-z1ssl s1d vicinity. Unless Professionally
,a- hs can be found AZ his ofice on Main 8.
= u Diamond.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

Mrs. Newliewed-I do 50 enjoy a
bright day. Now last Monday was a
superb day.
Miss Spinn-It was-a perfect day for
a walk or a drive.
Mrs. Newliwed-Yes but was think
inc Of the wash.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

\ Macon, GA policeman goes his
rounds on a bicycle in full uniform.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
The Wonder OF the Age.

Have you catarrh No DOUBT you have.
Most people are so afflicted. Get a bot
tie Of Mayors Magnetic Catarrh Cure
from your druggist. It'sthe only medi-
cine Of its kind on the market and absO-
lutely guaranteed For sale by druggists
or address
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14
THE MAYERs DRUG Co,

For sale by G. W. Benford ard DR.. J.
NJ. Louther, Somerset, Pa, and David
Gildner, lockwood, Pa
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-06-14

The funds and securities Of this bank
are securely protected in celebrated Cor
hss Burglar-proof safe. The only safe
MADE absolutely Burglar-prOOf.