Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-11-23

MANY a girl who marries for leis-
ure repents in haste.-Elmira Ca
Zette.
THE late Gulf storm has been Il
| terrible blow to the South. New Or.
leans Picayune.
! THE doctor who will discover al
remedy for fits and starts may treat
| the world. Galveston News.
NEARLY every boy determines to-
whip a certain school teacher when
he grows up.-Atchison Globe.
A VIGOROUS gale gave the parti-
sans OF the Yankee boats something
to blow about Lowell Courier.
WHEN a public man has lost his
grip he will not do much handshak
ing with constituents, -Siftings
THAT beats me-" the drum said
contidentially, referring to the rose"
wood stick. -Somerville Journal.
THE long term convict isn't much
of believer in the theory that life
is evolved from a cell -Lowell COu-
rier.
If we all turned out as well as the
professional bouncer there would be
fewer failures to record. Buffalo
Courier.
"YoU think you are cutting dash?"
as the driver said when the horse
kicked in the front of the buggy. -
Siftings.
WHILE discussing cheaper article
it only adds insult to injury to call
Big gas bills light affection. Phil
adelphia Times.
WHEN the Congressional orator
| loses the thread of his discourse, he
has no difficulty in spinning new
one.-Plain Dealer
"Do YOU pay for poetry" asked the
author. awe do, replied the editor
each poem costs US six subscribers"
Detroit Tribune.
KIND PARTY-"Why are you crying
like that, my little boy?" Little
Boy "Cause it's the only way /
know how. Vogue.
"COPPER" very quiet and sluggish"
Market report He is merely set
thing down for his accustomed nap.
Philadelphia Ledger.
WHAT a lot of labor would be saved
if the sweeping giances we read about
would only take the dirt from car
pets. -Buffalo Courier.
FRENCH judges were won't to make
very cutting remarks to felOns whom
they condemned to death by the gull
| lOtine.-LOWell Courier.
jack declare, if Miss Sears isn't
getting gray. Jess-No wonder, poor
thing; she has had so much trouble
, TO conceal her age.-Puck.
JAGsON says the man who declares
! that he will forgive but can never
| forget has never tried to mail his
wife's letters. -Elmira Gazette.
Miss S1NGLEToN-"I never expect
to marry" Miss Sateful-"But you
know it is the impossible that always
happens Boston Transcript.
| A SAILING yacht is "a thing Of beauty
when flying before wind, but it be-
! comes tame when crawling behind it
and beating its way.-Picayune
what lovely bachelor apartments
! bOWSGI UdS.-DuU UllCy say llC las
strange doings there. eyes; l fancy
his room is better than his company.
Puck.
THE unskilled printer finds little,
consolation in the fact that his efforts
! always receive marked attention at
! the hands of the proof-reader. But
falo Courier.
| h y,lz i, io11 f/,,
| play cards are apt to do one thing
! that is worse to entertain guests
| they bring out the family album
! Atchison Globe.
! DOCTOR-"I would advise you to
| take a walk every morning before
! breakfast" Sappy-"But, Doctor, I
-ah, never get up until after bweal-
{ fast. y'know. Tit Bits.
| HYGIENE is making itself felt n
the land. In his composition one
boy writes: "Girls can't run and hol-
! Ter like boys because their diagram is
squeezed Boston Traveller.
| HE-"I like the room, and perhaps
! I'll hire it, but / hope no one in the
house plays the piano." Landlady
-"Only my Youngest daughter, and
she only just beginning. "-Fliegend
Blaetter,
PRISON MISSIONARY = What are
you in here for, friend? Convict
bitterly Just for missing a train.
Nonsense mo nonsense, sir.
missed a train for Montreal. p
Brooklyn Life.
"Wi -" said a facetious stranger
to member of the brass band, there
is one thing for you to be thankful
for" Vat is dose?" inquired the
musician. you can always blow
YOUR own horn" "Ncin, my friendt.
Dis cornct is borrowed Washing
ton Star.