West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1893-10-19
COOL Mr.. BOWSER.
He HAD PLANNED FOR EVERY MOVE
In Case or Fire, but When Mira.
Bowser Smeiled smoke Hc IL sud.
denly Flustered-.-The Same
Old Bowser.

other evening, "has it ever
occurred to you that this house
might get afro somo night ?"
Glow could it ?'' she innocently
asked.
GLOW could it? Why, in 10, 600
different ways. That's just like a
woman. So long as nobody builds
bonfire in the basement she argues
that tho house is safe from con-
fi"grahon. You should go to bed
every night with the possibilities of
fire In yiow."
"Do you ?"
Certainly / do, and 1 know
exactly how 1 should act under the
circumstances. should be lust as
cool and calm as at this worry mo-
ment. Have you ever given n
thought as to what you would do p"
g never have, but | know /
should go out OF the house," she
answered.
"That's the woman of ;t---no
thought, no plan, but trusting to
luck. There isn't one chance in a
hundred, Mrs. Bowscr-no. not one
chance IN million--that you would
escape with your life unless | assis
ted you. You would awake to be
confused, mistake the clothespress
door for the back stairs, and having
got in thorc you would remain until
overcome by smoke and heat"
"ln your confusion you might 90
into the bath room," quietly OBJ
served Mrs. Bowser.
"In my confusion Are YOU
talking to man 45 years old or to
boy of 8? It's no wonder that
women are the ignorant, helpless
creatures VIC find them. The min
ute husband begins to talk sense
his wife loses all interest in his con-
Versation aud even ridicules him :,
It's all right howeyer-all right (!
Ii you want to leave your charrcd
skeleton amidst the blsckened ruins
Of the house. ] have no particular
objection. ! suppose ! could hire
man to gatner up the bones IN
soap box and bury 'em somewhere
for couple Of dollars"
And Mr.. Bowser crossed his
hands under his coattails and pro-
ceoded to pace back and forth
across the room and utterly ignore
the fact Of Mrs. 15owser's continued
presence. a night or two later, as
he slept and dreamed, something
nudged bis ribs, and he heard a
voice saying:
"Wake up, Mr.. Bowscr Wake
upi Can't you smell tho smoke ?
! do believe the house IS on fire 70
1t was the voice OF Mrs. Bowser.
and he sat up in bed and rubbed
his eyes and shouted "Fire l' and
"Pohce - at the top Of his voice.
Get out Of bed and hurry down
stairs and see if you can put it outl"
she called to him as she spraug out
herself.
Mr.. Bowser had declared that he
would be calm and that he had
figured out regular programme to
follow. Perhaps 1t was down on
his programme TO roll out OF bed
with the coverings "wapsed"
around him till it took two minutes
to kick himself loose. During tho
interval he WAS yelling "Firol" and
directing Mrs. Bowser TO telephone
to the police station. She had the
bedroom door open for him to run
down stairs, but be got into the ball
to canter mp and down and dodge
into the various rooms and out
again,
"Mr. Bowscr, be calm % she
called TO him az she seized his arm
and tried to hold him.
"Yes--ycs--I am calm Fire :
Police! The house is on fire p he
shouted in reply as he broke away
aud continued bis cantering.
Mrs. Bowser let him 90 and hup-
ried down stairs, where size found
tho covering Of the lounge smoking