The Portland daily press., 1893-04-29

for further reflection. My first Russian
bath was over. EVELYN MALCOLM.
BUILDING EXPERIENCES.
Munkittrick Learns That 1t Is Far More OF
a Lottery Than Marriage.
Especial Correspondence
ESSEX FEILs, N. j., April s7.-One day
last week I took trip out to Essex Fells,
picturesque little suburb of Montclair,
to ascertain if land could be purchased in
that growing spot for anything less than
Fifth avenue rate. In the stage that
plies between Montclair and Pine Brook
took my seat, with a few other men, and
before we had reached the top Of the
hill the conversation turned upon build
ing, for we saw houses in course of cree
ton upon every hand. cit beats every
thing" said one man, chow this county
is growing and spreading. declare it
beats everything. Why, one day you go
out shooting in certain field, and when
you come out month later you find q
street through it and half dozen houses
in course of erection. Did you ever build
a house?"
Never" replied the party as in one
voice.
''Well, congratulate you. Building
is a bigger lottery than marriage, .espe-
cially if you don't know anything about
it. know what am talking about, by
jimmy, when it comes to building"
''Then you have had some experience
in that liner" asked small, thin man,
with nile green wart on his nose.
''Some!" exclaimed the building man.
"somei Well, should say I have had
considerably more than some, by large
majority, and think was victim IN
til had put up six houses. But on the
second six got back what I lost on the
first half a dozen. Talk about wild re-
suits! Whewi"
Here he paused and mopped his face
with red handkerchief and groaned at
the very memory of his early building
exploits.
"What do you mean by wild results?"
asked the man with the nile green wart.
81 mean simply comic disasters-dis-
asters that are comic because they make
your friends laugh at you and go into
commissions Of merriment even when you
have their heartfelt sympathy. Now,
when I built my first house felt that I
was about the happiest man in the wide
world, but when first entered it the
bright illusion was quickly dispelled. l
don't suppose was in the house Is min
utes before found it necessary 10 make
lot of repairs. The first thing T had to
look out for was leak in the roof and
another in the cellar. The roof leak let
the water m, and it came in so fast that
after it had run down the winding stairs
like Dingman's Ferry cascade for little
while it go completely filed the cellar
that everything in it was afioat with the
exception Of the furnace and the coal"
Glow is it that it didn't run out Of the
leak which you have just said was in the
cellar?' asked the thin man whose nose
was decorated. with q nile green wart.
.sBecause the leak in the cellar" re-
piled the building man, twas that mys-
FERROUS unknown aperture through which
our frewood and the contents of the re-
frigerator disappeared from time to time.
Then the chimney blew down just as my
two cows were walking near. The old
$40 cow was not hit, but the 800 Hol-
stein heifer was killed on the spot. After
this the ceilings fell, and the floors spread
until they ripped the carpets, and when
the house had settled there were such
cracks all over it that I had to turn it
into a concrete house by plastering it
outside"
Here the man with the building ex-
perience drew sigh about two minutes
long, and his fellow passenger with the
nasal decoration offered his sympathy.
"It's SO long ago that it only makes me
laugh now, SO my signs mean nothing.
But an experience on my sixth house
was the funniest of all You see when
the masons mixed the plaster they did it
On the ground, and 1t happened that
lot of corn thrown out for the chickens
got mixed into it. The plaster was put
on with the corn In it, and along in the
month of June it sprouted, and we had
fine crop on the walls, and when we got
the winter fire started it all popped and
fell on the floor like snowfalzes."
Here the old man jumped out at We
roma, and we continued on our way in
silence. R. K. MUNKITTRICK.