River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-03-23
PITH AND POlNT.

The mother who starts to get a
sleepy boy out of bed these mornings
may be said to have n rousing time OF
it.-Philadciphia Times.
-Kate-.The brides uncle gave her
away" Bessie-''Couldn't he get any.
thing for hero Kate-''No. Nothing
but husband. Vogue.
My new cook lisa jewel" said Mrs.
Hicks. ''She can take few old chicken
ZONES and little veal and make fine
terrapin stew out of them. "-IIarper's
Bazaar.
Except in Case of Fire-Papa-
"Woader how il is night shirts last
longer than dress shirts?" Mamma
Because You Cont wear them Out
Clothiers' Weekly.
Penelope - Its dreadful! Papa
wants me to marry man have never
SEEN" Perdita-"That's nothing, Ny
father wants me to marry a man have
scen."-P. & ). 5. Co.'S Bulletin.
First Footpad-"What 'er We foller-
in e messenger boy fur? lie haint got
no money" Second Footpad-"Hush
-sh. He's got a bunch of violets. an
that's just the same. "-Inter-0cean.
-German Students Time.-A-"Are
You going to attend the lectures on bot
any from seven to eight a. mp" b
NONSENSE / go to no lectures in the
middle of the night?"-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
Sweets to the Sweet.-Mother Ito
her child. who has just had some sweets
given her by fellow-passenger)-
what do you say to the gentleman,
Mabel?" Mabel-'IIave You got any
more. please?'-Puneh.
Uncle John-'What. still studying,
Nellie9 They give you hard lessons to
learn, l fear" Nellie-"Yes, Uncle
John, they are hard to learn, but then.
you know, they are awfully easy to for
get boston Transcript.
-Maud-"I don't see how You can
marry a man like the count, who is
marrying you only for your money. .
Marie-''He does not put it that way.
He says he is marrying my money only
for me. Brandon Banner
"A Sharp Eloper The Long Island
man who eloped with his mother-In-law
showed remarkable acumen. When he
gets ready to be forgiven and taken
back to the home nest the mother-in-
law will not be in it. indianapolis
Journal.
Modest Merit. Manager You
claim, sir, to have every qualification OF
first-rate actor?" Hamlet de Ham
phatte-"Well. perhaps ought to men
. f. I a1s
.he result OF SO wuch applause, you
now."-Truth.
-Spaceryt-"I shall have To change
that obituary of Joblots'' Editor
What is wrong with it?" Spaceryt-
at says she died in the attitude of
prayer 1t turns out that he broke a
blood-vessel while looking under the
bed for his collar-button.
A Bed That Would Raise Corns.-
81 was going to bed the other night at
my hotel AZ Sea Beach, when a streak
of lightning came in through the win
dow and struck my mattress" What
was the effect?" Bent the lightning
double. Seattle Soundings.
I'VE don't see much of you now. +"
''No, I'm studying to pass an examina-
ton for a letter-carrier's position -
What are you studying?' The struc-
ture and origin of the Egyptian
pyramids. You see l have to pass a
civil-service examination. NY Y. Press.
How did YOU like the sermon?''
asked the minister OF the drummer.
"Ch. liked some parts of it first-rate. IS
was the reply. Your remarks about
sins of omission didn't hit me, but when
YOU talked about those of commission
must say You were getty pretty close. "
w ashington Star.
Even In the Suburbs They're Partic-
ular.-''Could You give me something
t. eat. ma 'am?" humbly asked n tramp
in the suburbs of Boston of the stern
vj>agcd woman who opened the kitchen
cor. YES. said the stern-visaged
= oman, rs she energetically closed the
door in his face and locked it with a
jerk, - could. "-Somerville Journal