davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
A Bright Young Man Wanted as Wasllin.
ton CorresponsIent.

Bright Young Man Wanted as Washing
ton Correspondent.
WANTED. THE KICKER desires to secure
the services of some ambitious young man
in the west to go to Washington and act as
its regular weekly correspondent We pre-
fer a young man because he is more likely
to pant for fame and glory, and we prefer
one from the west because he will put that
breeZiness into his correspondence which
our readers are bound to have or stop their
paper. His correspondence can be run ia
connection with windmill agency. an ir-
rigating scheme, a ship canal across Ari-
zonf or most anything else. He will be per
mitted to siosh around Washington as
pleases him BEST but We want him to be
chuck -a-luck with every government of
fetal from president down. We are willing
to start the right man at 81 per week. and
as his breeZiness increases we will softly
and gradually lift him to ss. 50 and SO. We
don't care for the regular proceedings of
congress, nor do we want much abouteast-
ern congressmen, but we want a correspond
ent to keep his eye on all western critters
and give them due praise or Hail Columbia.
We see great and glorious future here for
a young man who can shoot both handed
has a nose for news and isn't afraid TO speak
his mind. Apply at this Office in person
All candidates must be able to put five
bullets out of Il possible six into the bulls.
eye at Is PAGES aud to rope a steer by the
hind leg while going at full gallop.
An EMBARRASSING GMisTAKE.-Last Tues.
day afternoon upon returning to TIE KICK
EIs office from the city hall, we found a
rather mbarrassing state of affairs. Mr.
Tompkins, a fat, baldheaded editor from
Iowa, who had arrived in town without our
knowledge. called at the Office ina fraternal
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10

They were male and female, both young
and tender Neither had ever loved be-
fore. He owned a coon dog and a mule,
and she could read, write and cipher.
"Jen," he said, breaking a long silence.
'Yes, Tom"
Any 'skeeters hit yo' yit?"
Heaps
The sun disappeared behind the Raccoon
hills, and twilight fell Insensibly the gal
critter heaved Il long, quivering, tremulous,
trembling sigh Insensibly the man critter
hitched toward her on the log.
'Jen. s'posin?" he queried as he looked
straight into the gathering darkness.
tS'posin what. TonS" she answered as
she thumped the life out of mosquito
which was trying to carry her off bodily.
But he stuck there, while the darkness
grew deeper and the old man Shepard trot-
ted by on his mule and an owl in theswamp
gave utterance to his lonely cry. Her heart
was beating wildly, but a gal critter must
wait for ii man critter to ask her. Insensi-
bly,, however, they hitched in unison to-
ward the center of the log.
"Jen, s'posin yo'r pop was to be eat up by
a BARI"
YES"
And yer man was to git the breakbone
fever and dies"
Yes"
He got stuck again. He picked up chip
with his naked toes and worked it about in
nervous manner, while the owl wheoped
it up for the next five minutes for all there
was in it. She could hear his heart flip
Topping. and he knew that she was red
clear back TO her shoulder blades Insensi-
bly, they drew together as illustrated by
the following diagram:
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
He Wanted News.

There was long haired. long bodied,
lonesome looking sqaatter sitting on a log
in front of his cabin smoking a cor1lcob
pipe, and as | came up he removed his pipe
afor an instant to ask:
.Howdy, stranger; what's the news?"
We'll, it looks like war in Europe"
answered as sat down beside him.
Too fur away, what elseS" he presently
queried.
There's a great famine in Persia
"Dod rot Persiala
Perhaps you heard about the great coal
mine disaster in Pennsylvania? asked.
No, and don't Wanter."
But you asked for news y
''Sartin did, and want news. | wanter
know if the price of terbacker has riz. /
wanter know what moonshine whisky is
wuth down in Knoxville. yanter know
If you'n has met up with anybody who has
killed oneo' them dod rotted reyenew fel
lers lately. ] wanter know why in sin the
owner of this emery patch O land don't
cum down yere and drive me off and rouse
ND my pestiferous ambishun to git move
ON mel If yo've got that sorter news
stranger spit 'er out and make me happy,
RI yos hain't, why, then jog along to Bill
Whites place and leave me to suck this
old pipe aud keep on with my thinkinia
MI QUAD
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
Growing Asparagus.

At the annual meeting of an Illinois
association of horticulturists the subjec.
of asparagus was introduced in a paper
read BY one of the members, who con-
siders it an excellent paying crop. lie
plants 4 by 4 feet, with good, strong
1-year-old or good 2-year-old plants as
early in spring as the ground is in good
condition. The crowns of his plants are
four or FIVE inches below the surface
when the ground is leveled and settled
The ground is occupied between the
plants the first season, one way, with
early vegetables early beets, lettuce,
radishes, dwarf peas, wax beans, early
and late cabbage date cabbage can take
the place of the earlier vegetables. Some
OF these crops may be grown the second
wear. Mr.. yickroy does not cut his
asparagus until the third year, and ex-
poets it then to average net income of
at least 800 per year for twelve or fifteen
years. He cultivates it the same as corn
as long as he can get between the plants.
Professor BurriH, in an after discus
sion, said that he does not cultivate his
asparagus except to get out the weeds.
In the spring he burns off the tops. After
burning he shoyels on some barnyard
manure.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
E$$Ss5S, 5S,LZI11N$}NN$GsFY%ESSMM&SMMNMI

And s'posin yo'r bruther Jim should
git snake bit and expires' he continued as
he dropped his voice to a whisper
"Yes, Tom"
Ard the cabin should burn down."
Yes
wv what would yo' do then?"
Reckon Ed go over to yor house"
"WhaE fur?"
To AK yo'r mann if--if''--
The owl stopped his consarned hootfng to
listen, and Tom worked his toes under a
root and queried:
''Fo ax my mann if what?"
"Yo' won't be mad. Tom?"
Reckon not. :"
And yo' won't git up'n run aways"
No"
Then I'd go over to yo'r house to az
yo'r mann if-if she reckoned was old nuff
to git married."
His arm stole around that gal critter,
and her head fell upon his shoulder. The
owl hooted, and the 'skeeters bit, but they
heard nothing but the whispers of love-
felt nothing but that overpowering sense
of happiness which comes to calves who
bite each others ears for the first time.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
a FAIR UNDERSTANDING.
ghey Arranged beforehand as to just
What the CYCLONE Would Do.

They Arranged Beforehand as to just
What the Cyclone Would Do.
was talking with the colonelat his gate
when negro man came along and saluted
and said
sKurnel Bingham, Izecum down yere to
git far understantlin wild yo'. !"
'sWho are your"
"I'ze Moses Roberts, an Fze rented dat
cabin an piece o. land down in de bend of
de ribber."
.'Well, what's the trouble?n
''Yo' owns de wood lot across from me.
Yo's got right smart o. pigs in dat place.
.'Yes"
"TaaI, now, yere am de pint Sum day
sigbclone am gwine to riz up on de bot
tom lands an cum saifin frew dat wood lot
o. yo'rs, an when yo'r man counts up de
hogs he'll find two or three missin."
81 see."
''An what want to know am whether
yo'll allow dat tdeafo'said sighclone sceoped
up dem hogs an carried em ober into de
state of Gawgy, or whether-whether''
'sOr whether I'll suspect you of killing
them for your own use?"
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
Thines Told by Beekeepers.

President Secor, of Iowa, in an address
before the North American Beekeepers'
association, emphasized the Importance
of the honey bee in its relations to agri-
culture.
AT a recent beekeepers' meeting the
old query, ssHow far do bees fly for
honey" was also agitated. The general
expression favored apiaries at least three
miles apart, though bees do not usually
fly more than two miles in their pursuit
of honey and oftener only II miles.
james Heddon expressed the opinion
at the Michigan beekeepers' convention
that s.it is possible to breed nonswarm-
ing strain of bees" He thinks that bees
swarm less than in days past. To be
able to have bees stop swarming would
be one Of the greatest advances that
beekeeping has ever made.
At the Missouri state beekeepers con-
,vention the question, .Shall grades of
honey be established by law?" was dis
cussed. The majority present did not
think the plan practicable.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
have your
at Z sg1

nave YOU
II hapei9
But at the risk of being thought Off
cfous ! want to relate an incident in my
own career. Thirty years ago it happened
that had to pass a night in large room
in tavern with IA other men. At mid
night all began to snore. had with me
two dozen spring clothespins. got up and
placed pin on each mans nose, aud in 10
minutes every sllore had ceased. grinned
chuclsled. | felicittted myself on my
cuteness When | awolle in the morning
every man was deadn'
'sNol What killed them?"
Every one had swallowed hissn The
clothespins had done it. Fourteen dead
men lay on their backs with II cIothespins
tightly pressed to their pale, cold noses -
Served 'em rightT' ehuckled the blood
thirsty wretch.
Il admit it. But how did come outs
was tried ON II separate charges of murder.
Ii was nine years before the last jury.
brought in verdict of justifable homi
eide, had paid out my last cent TO the
lawyers Fourteen widows cried out for
my life. Over 10 fatherless children shrek.
ed for vengeance. More than iG0 newspac
pers demanded that be lynched. was an
0uGcasGs Il iEReFsf IeElitE,f W lc sli1itiiSsi
Day and night the sohs Of those widows
and the walls of those fatherless children
ring in my ears. am going to my grave
feeling that have not one friend mall this
great world =
But. YOU see''
.sOf course see. He ought to be killed
No one can blame sou for numbering him
in cold blood but reflect ere it is too late /
beg of you to pause and reflect.
The would be murderer was struck By the
old mans earnestness. Heput mp his knife
and revolver and crept back under his
blankets, aud he was hardly out Of sight
before the sleeper turned over, and the snore
was heard no more. Next morning the
snorer incidentally mentioned that he Lad
been married five different times and had
sabscript 81 q year. in advance.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
Protecting siIos Against FROST and Rats.


The general verdict, according to tes-
timony received at the Wisconsin agri-
cultural experiment station, is that
freezing, SO far as the silage is concerned.
is more an inconvenience than serious
loss. When the frozen silage is mixed
with the rest it quickly thaws, and is
apparently relished as well as if it had
not been frozen. It is advised, however,
that all types of cemented silos be made
frost proof, to prevent the cement from
cleaving off, but with wood silos the
construction required to preserve the
si1age and to protect the frame from
weather appears to be sufficient to pre-
vent any serious freezing during all
except protracted and extreme cold
weather.
The surest safeguard against rats, ac-
cording to the authority quoted, APP
pears to be covering the bottom of the
silo with layer of small stones or grout
before the cement is applied. When the
cement is applied directly upon the
ground the action of the acids soon sof-
tens it to such an eXtentas to permit the
rats to penetrate it without difficulty
The rats usually enter by burrowing un-
der the foundation walls. Their de-
structive effects result from the adnis-
sion of air to the silo.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
Not a Second.

AS they passed the city hull they all
pulled out their watches to compare them
with the municipal time. The Price hill
man slipped his hunting case into ispock-
ct again and remarked, You may say what
you please about fine timepieces but I've
got a cheap clock up at the house that I
bought 90 years ago that has never varied a
second from the day bought it to this
.sWhatfa painted the crowd.
"That's right | bought it 20 years ago
for IS, took it home, placed it on the man
tel. set it's hands and wound it up, and
from that day to this it has not varied q
second.
"Wonderful!''
''Stupendousp'
''Amazingn'
Not II seeondsa
mo, sir. not second,n said the man
from Price hill. '.Fhc handspring broke
when Iwound tup, and it has never varied
a second from that instant
It was surprising the number Of cigars
he got out of that crowd. Cincinnati Com
merciaI Gazette.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
Roup in Fowls.

Roup is one of the most contagious
and fatal diseases of poultry, and very
little success attends treatment of dis
eased ones. If three-fourths or even
two-thirds of the number have become
diseased, the best course would be to de-
stroy all, because the balance, having
become sufficiently exposed to the con-
tagion, would be very likely to become
diseased. IF treatment is to be attempted
it is advised in The Prairie Farmer to
give the diseased birds thrice daily
three or four drops of tincture of iron
in teaspoonful of sweetened water.
Sponge the head thrice daily with solu-
ton of half dram of carbolic acid well
shaken up with a quart of rainwater.
The food should consist of Indian meal,
mixed with milk, and to which should
be added finely cut raw onions; also give
them q meal daily of boiled and mashed
potatoes, among which are mixed some
powdered pepper and raw onions finely
chopped. A mess like this will be a good
preventive to give the healthy birds once
daily. Prevent the birds from drinking
other water from that which is given
them, and this should be renewed thrice
daily in vessels kept scrupulously clean,
and in which should always be kept some
rusty nails or rusty iron.
Theauthority quoted says: IF the poul-
try house is old tear it down and burn
it, with all its contents, including the
poultry. If the henhouse is too good to
burn, the nest boxes and roosting poles
should be removed and burned, together
with the flooring, if wooden, as well as
the dung ana sweepings collected in the
henhouse, etc. After thorough scrap
ing and securing of the henhouse spr; u
kle the floor literally with chlorinated
lime, and with the same material white
wash the walls and ceiling. Providenew
roosting poles, nest boxes, etc"
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
OPELOUsAs, LA, SATURDAY, J JUNE, 10, 1893.

went away saying that he was considerably
disappointed in the glorious west. We arc
sorry as we can be, but can hold nobody to
blame. Our agricultural editor only gets
81 per week and is blind in one eye, and he
can't take the chances he could in New FORK
city. It's really his duty to get the drop
ON all callers Until he knows whether they
come to subscribe to the greatest of all
American weekfies or to drili holes through
members of the editorial staff
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
THE STORY or AN oUTcAsT.
In Which sian with Murder In His Heart
Has a Narrnxy Escane.


The man in upper No Il began snoring
about 1890 o'clock, and an hoar later the
man in lower No. got ont of his berth
fully determined to choke off that noise or
kill the man who owned it. Among the
half dozen ef rs who looked out to see what
was going on was an old chap of 70, who had
lower No. /. AS soon as lower No. 7turned
out the old man beckoned him down to the
end of the car and asked:
Am correct in supposing you mean to
wet your hands in human gore?n
You are!'' was the prompt reply.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
1t Wasn't Politics.

Soon after we passed Salisbury man en-.
tered the car, having paper and pencil in
his hand, and beginning with the first male
passenger he said:
Il amt after no political straw, as they
call it, because don't care shucks how
anybody votes or who is elected What
want ter git is your religious belief
What do you want of that?n asked the
man addressed
"Ill explain bimeby.n
But you must explain now. This seems
to be curious sort of proceeding anyhow y
Methodist or Baptlst?" queried the
other as he wet his pencil on his tongue
and made ready to write
None o. your business! By what right
do you assume to ask me such 4 question: ~
WAL. FIJI explain all about it. In the
car ahead I've fell in with cantankerous
old Baptist, and we've lin hayin it hot and
heavy as towhether Methodistso or Baptists,
air the best. y
8 But what's that got to do with my re
ligion?'
A heap. stranger. I'm goin to canvass
this train. If thar's a big show o. Baptists
Pm goin to keep away from that old she'll
back and let him go down to destruction
while if thar's a bigger show Of Mcthodists
I'm goin back and git him to call me d
liar and then punch his blamed old head
OFF,
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
- ase,sesx
FARM meFoghD
49, RaD GARDEN
SPLICING WIRE FENCE.
Homemade Tools with the Assistance of
Which Farmers Can Make Neat Job.

Homemade Tools with the Assistance OF
Which Farmers Can Make a Neat Job.
When a farmer undertakes a job OF
wire fence building, whether of smooth
or barbed wire excepting the buckthorn),
the difficulty of making neat and strong
splice comes to the front every time.
Linemen working for telegraph tompa-
nies always make neat and strong
splice, and do it easily with the elarnping
pincers that have two grooves in their
jaws, near together, in which the ends of
the wires to be spiiced are placed and Sc
curely held. The ends of the wires pro-
jecting on each side of this handy wise
are, by the use of another pair of pinchers,
wound tightly around the main wire, the
neatness of the job depending to con-
siderable extent on the skill of the oper-
ator. A farmer cannot afford to buy and
keep these pinchers. because the amount
of wire splicing he has to do will not JUS
tify the outlay. If they are wanted by
the farmer, the difficulty is in getting
them, SO the following from a, CORE
spondent of Ohio Farmer will be wei
come to many. He says:
What little splicing we have had to do
we've done with two small tools that
cost us but twenty cents to get made, and
should, we think. be made for less than
that. From our scrapbox of iron and steel
weselected a piece of steel lthree-sixteenths
of an inch thick by one inch wide. From
this the blacksmith cut two pieces, FIVE
and four inches long. One end of the
longer piece he drew out, making the
drawn out part one-half inch wide and
/ ] inches in length. One-half of this he
turned back, making a slot large enough
to admit No wire, as this is the size
we use principally in building fence. We
place the ends of the wire to be spliced
in this slot, passing them on each side SIS
far as may be necessary. Bend the ends
at right angles to the main wire. This
keeps them from slipping out of the tool.
In one end OF the other piece of steel
we have hole punched large enough TO
admit the size wire to be used; If re-
auired, two or three holes of different
sizes can be made. Slip this tool over
one end, as we have it secured in our
wise, and turn it about the main wire.
The friction caused in bending and slip
ping through this hole will make it wind
down tight to the main wire. The sec
ond end should be turned in the opposite
direction from the first. In this manner
we are able to make neat and strong
Splice, We nse the same tools to splice
barbed wire, and found they answered
tho purpose much better than two pairs
of pinchers. The slot or loop in the first
named tool, while made to admit a No 0
wire, can be used for smaller numbers;
however, an open loop could be turned
on each end of the tool, giving two Sizes
which would be better and make the wire
easier to handle in making the splice
These are the cheapest appliances for this
purpose that we have knowledge Of. IF
mislaid or lost, the loss is trifing.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10

spirit. Our long, lean. lank agricultural
editor. who has been shot at three times
within a month and lives in daily fear of
his lie. took Mr.. Tompkins for an assassin
from Lone Jack and covered him with a
.tiln. pon our arrival explanations were
nads, and Mr. Ton1pkins was received with
.Iae hospitality. but he could not be en-
tireiy modified We drove him out to our
private graveyard. took him through all
ths leading poker rooms and introduced
I;.s: 10 Ill eur prominent citizens, but he
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10

a ,v;,,as srl % or;i,lrs,, a,,d sto,,os,;, ,,,ro,
sill livino and tha n,llor which oyersnraad
the n,,.r.lerals vrete,s faca Iil1o > vii did
not. % .,,vay far hours Ma lad hara1v 90.
eaned n,urfer;nt, !, !. arv ornhan - asrl,,,n
@ ....-.-..- : - 5. i,e,-s,
NJ n;sKs
NO. 10, aa,,,a.,,,,.,., So, a. ,,,1,,v
n,,a so.a ~ 10y na
f.1ia iis's eiiet1
sas,a : s1s e.ls nas
.,, s - :. 10 H. boz s
asi e :. sns 70. 's
I. aslaa. iss' '..o
.sfia,,.
..I,;f., 80 80 'e.',.
a1tr;l -, eita' ta,.a 10 sns dea,,
,,a,,tsa, e''fe . I'iiiiio e''e,AsfNin - p1'
..-ll,s, ..Yae u
.l4s;i, 80,
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
An Original Pun.

Mustapha Ben ALI Mnlay, did you buy
that beautiful slave who SO took my royal
fancy few days ago?
The Lord High Treasurer Defender OF
the faithful, It is impossiblel The dog who
owns her wants 10000 piasters.
NJ. B. A sadly Yes. Muley. she comes
high, but Mustapha. Yankee Blade
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10

mo, sab. y
'But one may come any day"
Eyes, sab. -
'If hear of one down there, shall be
down next day IF the wind scooped up
one of my pigs and tipped your cabin oyer
at the same time, it will be all right, but if
a pig is missing and your cabin is all right.
why"-
Il see de pint, kurnel. Dar has got TO
be sort Of percolashun between the sigh
clone, de hog an my cabin, or a constable
will be spookin around wild a s'arch war
rant. | see. understand. Maybe some
high winds down dat way dis summer. but
feel mighty sartin dar won't be no sigh
clones Wort speakin 'bouti''
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-10
vhy He Wasn't Called.

.Did you cali the gentleman in No. 73s
He wants his breakfast att o'clock.'
Bellboy-No. he don't.
ibid he say so?'
BelIDoy- No. He blew out the gas last
night. Chicago Inter Ocean.