Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-08-03
SpriRlkles of Spice.

SprinIxles Of Spice.
IT isn't every one who can make
game man quail. Courier.
A CITIZEN of Colorado can force the
yield of silver if he has a mine to-
Picayune.
AFTER all, the difference between
true-hearted girl and a flirt is only
trifling. Troy News.
THE way out of it for Australia is
to set her pugilists to killing rabbits.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
WEREN'T you surprised when he
proposed ?" "No. Why should be?"
Everybody else was life.
A DEAF man cannot be legally con-
victed. 1t is unlawful to convict
man without a hearing. -Siftings.
IN well-regulated family the
olive branch of peace is sometimes a
stout hickory sprout. Dallas News.
! ALTHOUGH rheumatism must be
very undesirable, many people seem
bent on having it.-LoWell Courier.
JAGsoN says the only way to make
home attractive to our boys is to rent
it to some other family. -Elmira Ga
1ette.
"Do YOU believe in a personal
devil?" Il believe in everybody until
[ have been deceived. Boston Tran
script.
"DID Bilkem leave anything when
he died?" Eyes; his creditors. They're
the worst left lot you ever saw. p
! Buffalo Courier.
BLoUNr looked into the crater, but
| the press dispatches don't mention
whether he took drop Of it or not.
Florida Times.
SOME men are so INDECENT that they
wouldn't even take their ease if they
bad to go out of the way to get it.
YOnkers Stateman.
SWEARING may give relief to over
worked feelings, but it doesn't bring
back the excursion boat the swearer
mas missed Chester News.
TIE only suspicion of crookedness
in heaven came about when an as
tronomer discovered that some Of the
stars had been flxed.-Picayune.
"DoEs Jaggs seemed changed any
since his stay at the gold cure?"
"Yes, he's able to drink any kind of
stuff he can get noW."-lnter Ocean.
The young lady to whom became
engaged at the ball last night is
hereby requested to send her name
and address to the office of this paper.
IL Secols.
WHEN man reaches the age at
which he is ready to settle down and
stop giving his wife trouble, his sons
have reached the age to begin. AT
Gibson Globe.
"YoU'vE bought bicycle, ell?
Well, that beats riding in street
car, doesn't it?" ooh, don't know.
AS it u.s. old fellow, l frequently have
to give up my seat. Truth.
AT the theater: Mamma, doesn't
papa like music?" eyes, my child;
why do you ask?" "He always goes
out between the acts when the band
plays. philadelphia Record.
"How DO you like your new lady
help Mrs. Todgers?" Il should like
her a good deal more, Mrs Dodgers,
if she was little less the lady and
little more of a help. It'd Bits.
REALLY, sir, I'll pay you in time,
said the young man. Excuse me-"
replied the impatient creditor, ''if
it's all the same I'd rather you'd pay
me in money. Washington Star.
No-SH1Rr is the name Of the chief
of the Umatilla tribe. When he
visits the Midway Plaisance he will
find some of his old friends in the
Dahomey village.-Chicago Tribune.
BUT one thing may be said Of
purely personal and private fights;
they have this distinct advantage
over the professional article they
are never faxed. Stand
ard.
HARD LABOR. Dusty Dolliver-
oyer find it hard work ter git any
grub hereabouts?" Ragged Robert
ayes; awful hard Most of the
houses sets away back from the
| fence. Puck.
"THE short story seems to be quite
the fad nowadays" said one club man
| to another. Il should say SO. It seems
to me that nearly every man | meet
stops to tell me how short he is. -
! Washington Star.
YOUNG WIFE-"Now, sir, I've Civ
en- you half my picnic pies, and you
promised to work for them"
Tramp-aBless yer ssWeet eyes, mum,
| I did-as wuz eatin of 'em. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
SHoRT-sIGHTED gentleman chooses
a pair of spectacles. "These glasses,
he says, "are not strong enough for
me-" aBut, sir, they are No. ?"
~What have you next to No. %" NO.
l." And after that" after No j,
sir. YOU will want dog."-Tit-bits.