The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-03-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Short intervals-The periods between
pay days.
A bald headed man may yet bea hare
Drained fellow.
A no-account fellow--The man who
never asks credit.-Life.
On the roll of fame-The champion
wheelman. .-Galveston News.
An all-round mana fat freak in
museum.-New York journal.
Onions are healthy. Plumbers get fat
on leaks. philadelphia Times.
A high-binder-The publisher of
ornamental Observation-Disclosures Star.
1t is very convenient for a rapid
writer to have a good train of thought.
Troy Press.
There is no help for the case of the
woman who can't get servant. -Phila-
delphia Record.
"What you need," said the aeronaut
to the balloon, ''is good blowing up"
Washington Star.
No one can know the value of n little
scratch on a red wagon until he offers 1t
for sale.-Atchison Globe.
oh, roses, go and nestle
Next the roses meath her locks
That were made with mortar and pestle
And cost one-tfty a box.
Chicago News Record.
''Did you ever go to Bins, the tailorS"
"Yes. Got two suits from him. One
dress suit. One lawsuit. Very expensive
man."-Waif.
A boy never looks in the glass to see
If his face is clean after he has washed
it; he looks at the dirt on the towel
Atchison Globe.
"How long can man live without
air2" "It depends on the air. Forever
If it's 'Ta-ra.ra boom-de.aye. '"-Kate
Fields Washington.
Considering the fact that coal bills are
presented every month, it's a wonder
that more people don't die of heart fail.
Washington News.
The best wishes one can offer the i'm
provment-of-roadsc crusaders is that their
chosen walk in life may be over smooth
ways.-Baltimore American.
An Irish carpenter fell from the roof
to the ground, and when picked up re-
marked: az was coming down after nails
anyway. ay."-Harvard Lampoon.
Breathing through the nose is the only
proper way to sleep. If you awake in
the night and find your mouth open get
up and shut it.-Tamaqua Recorder.
A fashion journal asserts that "the
hoop skirt is coming in again." Queer
that q thing that stands out so should
come in, too. Philadelphia Ledger.
A servant girl puzzled Chestnut
Street druggists clerk yesterday for a
moment by asking for a dozen three
grain Queen Ann pills. Philadelphia
Record.
''My first offense,p the footpad cried,
His victim hung his head.
"To think that was held up by
San amateurn he said.
Washington Star.
Clerk-"I advise you to try these
socks, sir. We call 'em the messenger
boy Customer-"Why9" Clerk
"Because they don't run. "-ClothieF
and Furnisher.
"Are those shirts Of Wigby's readyiD
asked the laundrymau of his assistant.
''No, sir" she replied, ~ haven't had
time to tear off the neckbands et."-
Buffalo Express.
81 love you,n he with arlor said;
"At last rll show itn
She smiled and gayly tossed her head
And said, 81 know it,"
Washington Star.
Guest (angrily)-"see here, you've
upset half that soup on my coatl' Wait
er (soothingly) - "Never mind, sir;
we've got lot more in the kitchen. -
New York Journal.
81 have one advantage over you,"
said the Gifted Liar. "Do you know
what it is9" Il cant imagine" " replied
the Truthful Citizen. "Exactly. That's
it."-Chicago Tribune.
Spellman-"Are you going South on
business or" MIR. Setrich--"Well,
business and pleasure combined. It's to
attend this funeral of the uncle who left
me fortune. Inter. Ocean. B.
Teacher-"What part of speech Is
phonognphp Big Boy-'A noun OF
the feminine gender.' Teacher-"Why
feminineW Big Boy-"Because it az
ways talks back. New York JournaIN
Tommy-"Paw, l heard man say
that Mr.. Watts was self made man,
Whai is a self made mani" Mr.. FiggZT
''A man who knows how to buy doH
lars worth OF work for fifty cents. "-Insl
dianapolis Journal.