davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
The Texans Notion of Humo
W. nhi,,...., ~,


The Texans Notion of Humor.
Washington Post.
The Texas congressman usually has a
shrewd perception of humor. The dele
cation has o corner on half the good
stories going, and can lay claim to sew.
eral whish have got away. A CORE
spondent backed the dean of the delega-
ton up in corner the other day and
told him the following tale
"a friend OF mine,n said the CORE
spondent, ''came up from Texas when
the session opened, and, as he expected
to be here some time, he looked around
for moderate.priced room, which he
located in a nice neighborhood. A
motherly old lady showed him the
room, which pleased him very much.
As he was about 10 leave the room she
asked him where he was from.
"'From Texas, madam
"sWell, let inc show you how this gas
works. You turn ii on SO, and put a
match 10 il so; and when you get
through turn it off SO.
"But understand all about gas. We
have it at home
Yes, but | have had good deal OF
trouble with Texans about gas, and il
doesn't do any harm to show you. Turn
it on so, and turn it of this way. Don't
try to blow it out.
"'But, madam, protested my friend
'you needn't so to all that trouble. Ii
it will relieve your mind any, lived in
Chicago for six months before coming
here.
"'You did, Ell? Well, want you L
understand that this is a respectable
house, and l won't have any poker play
ing or drinking and caronsing up here. -
"Haw, haw y laughed the Congress
man, 'that is one Of the best stories
ever heard" and his sides shook with
laughter.
But said the correspondent, "the
boys are sending that story out to.nigh
and saying that you are the Texan.
The - you say Well, that is
pretty low down sort of yarn to spir
on anybody" grumbled the Congress
/ man,
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

"The tariff is the great maintainer Of
wages" says the Hon. Thomas Bracket
Reed in his minority report. Then
why didn't tho tariff maintain wages at
Homestead and many other places last
yearY There was no apprehension of
Democratic tariff revision then. And,
since If "the tariff is the great main
tainer of wages" it logically follows that
the higher tae tariff the higher the
wages, why did not the Mckinley bill
put up wages instead Of putting them
DOWN. Sometime when you have the
leisure, Thomas, will you kindly figure
the exact extent TO which the tariff on
iron ore goes to maintain the wages of
those Pennsylvania miners who are
laboring for 20 cents per dayp
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
While tie Christian world is celebra

N,rt.il, ,,,,,i.,t,,., .i.I l.,
"''e wy u'',''a" "o1l' . ee's'tat,
w w "eSeF,eN s.,''s " 'NV
p'''u " '"' nauo " t'e'n'eneii' surfing
saU",e = , "sAe'e ~, o,"sssy p'os'vss
w ,sa"stts'us :" '"' ANY mHe'o 'hS
a .,, , sa"s VIZ ','S SuVt"o'"s Na'ei's"
u's,' .ooNs y ".su'' ~ 'Nuush 'ne
w, NJ, =, V."p,,e raS 'ui"oa e"ssNNsH y
y 80 ~ W. W avn = aus aVN N'.1Ns
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
An Actual Conversation.

50 Or. NJ. has cured your sons cough.
Mrs. u. 2 SEiHul man.
No. madame, We gave up his medicines
a week ago, They put JOHNNY 10 sleep,
but they did not touch the CoHgh II All
All indeed What brought tie bay
around 50 sudden, then
Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
madame. One iNscent bottle did the busi.
ness, while the doctors bill for doing
nothing was ten dollars,
Sold BY all druggists everywhere. Prices.
- and 81 cents and slO0. The large Size
being the most economical.
fike's Ioothache Drops cure in one
minute.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

We all have pains and aches, but they
neeia't last long-not any longer than il
taxes 10 put on an Alleoek's Porous plas-
ter. The only thing to look out for is that
you set the right plaster. There are Others
but you don't want them; take our word
for it, for when you need plaster you
ard tt. and there's no time for experiment.
ing and finding out mistakes then. Ask
for Allcock's Porous Plasters and see that
you get;hem. Ii they say that some other is
Just as good, tell them that only the best is
gooi enough for YOU. Al.cock's Porous
Plasters are quick and sure. and acknowl-
edged by the highest medical authorities
remedy for pains and aches of every de
Scriplion.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. a5, 1893.
MIDWINTER DAYS IN
WHITE.

Conditions were never be-
fore so favorable for retail
buyers of Women's Muslin
Underwear.
Manufacturers have well
coined work on any terms, so
it let them keep their organi-
cations intact, and the larger
the orders the more willing
have they been to make con-
cessions.
In Januaries past we have
had special sales of Women's
Muslin Underwear that be-
came the talk of the country,
but none Of them IN any RESPECT
cqnaled an interest the oRs pre-
pared fer Tanaa'y, 1894.
More than THREE HUNDRED
AND FIFTY THOUSAND garments
have been gathered for the
beginning Of the sale, and
other thousands, like snowy
mountains, will be drifting in
as the days go by.
In many instances we have
been able to price the finished
garments at about the retail
cost OF the materials in them.
What are told of here are
perhaps one in a score of the
kinds that make up the great
assortment.
The stocks are very large,
but when exhausted orders
cannot be filled at the rates
quoted in this list:
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

DR.. John Newell Tilden, principal of
the Peekskllt Military Academy, Peeks-
kill, \. v, was badly burned, Christmas
night. He was playing Santa Claus. He
was clothed in costume Of cotton bat
ting, which caught fire from a candle on
the Christmas tree, Just as he was pre-
senting his last gift.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

Washington Star.
"Missus," said the very small boy,
skin | shovel off your snow"
"Why, the SHOWS all off my walk"
II don't mean now"
"But I've promised another boy to let
him do the work the nexttime it SHOWS"
81 don't mean then either. Every
place I've been it was just the same
way. You have to get yer application
in carly if you want work these hard
times. What | want to know Is, can
shovel of next winters snow for ye?"
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
Tho Nov raiI..
The
Buffalo Courier.

budAlo courier.
wihbs Didn't that fortune,teller
prophesy that dark.complexloned
woman would make trouble for your
Slopay-Nes.
Wibhs-Well, the prophecy has come
true.
Slopsy tneryouslyl-It hasa What
do you means
Wibbs-N0ur colored wsshwoman is
waiting At your room and says she's
going to stay there until she gets what
you owe her.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
DRAWERS.

10000 Drawers
Fine good Muslin, wide hem and
fine plaits, 1Sc. Three pieces only
sold to one buyer.
6ooo Draa0ers
Very fine good Muslin, wide hem
and spaced plaits, 30c. Three
pieces only sold to one buyer.
24oo DraaVeyS
Very fine good Cambria, wide hem
and spaced plaits, 300. Three
pieces only sold to one buyer.
1910 Drawers
Fine Muslin, neat Swiss rufiie, 2
plaits above, Acc.
1910 Drua0ers
Fine Muslin, neat wide Swiss ruffic,
10 fine plaits above, soc.
GOO DyaaorIS
Fine Muslin, neat fine wide Swiss
ruttle, 0 plaits above, 75c.
500 DruSoeys
Fine Muslin, neat fine wide Swiss
rufile, IL plaits above, 81.
Others in great variety up
to $1,000.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

In recent issue Of the Philadelphia
Press, the New York correspondent Of
tina, high tariff organ quotes, in a
manner that must be edifying to its pro.
tectiouist readers, some talk with Mr..
NJ. Z. D, Borden, perhaps the ablest
man engaged in the print cloth manu-.
tacturen the correspondent admits. Mr..
Borden says, Smong other things, that
the cotton manufacturers Of Manchester
could not touch the low prices for
print goods made in this country, and
that 80 far as our business isconcerned
it does not make much difference what
Congress may 90 With respect 10 any
tariff bill as American print cloth
manufacturers are now able to bea, the
world, Mr. Borden has recently erected
two very largo mills in FAN River
! without consulting the calamity howlers.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
CORSET COVERS.

$500 Corset Co0ers
Good Cambria, high neck, trimmed
with neat Swiss edge, &c. Three
pieces only sold to one buyer.
500 Knit Corset Co1e1S
High round neck, 15c. Three pieces
only sold to one buyer
1900 Corset C00crs
Good fine cambria, high round neck,
trimmed with neat Hamburg edge,
CSC.
1850 Corset CoVerS
Good fine cambria, surplice neck of
Swiss insertion, embroidery and
hemstitching, csc. Three pieces
only sold 10 one buyer.
1880 Corset CoVers
Good cambria, surplice neck of wide
fine Swiss embroidery, 35c. Three
pieces only sold to one buyer.
1900 Corset Cove,y
Good cambria, surplice front and
square back of wide, fine machine
made torchon lace and ribbon, Soc.
$3.50 Corset Co0ejy
Good cambria, surplice front of two
rows Of neat Swiss embroidery
trimmed arm-holes, Soc.
Other styles in great variety
up to $40.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

II was the last Christmas day on earth
for the late Ex-Governor Biggs, the
memory Of whose genial personality
will linger with Delawaroans while
many coming ChnStmases wax and
wauc, Tho setting sun Of the hsllowed
anniversary looked upon his peaceful
Iap.a into the sleep from which the in-
mortal part OF man awakes IN another
world. Looking upon what VIC call
death in this aspcct--tha of the orderly
passage to n higher life Of one whose
ripened years looked back upon an
earth-life well spent, a career honorable
10 himself and marked by usefulness to
his State and to his fellow men-we
prefer, instead Of words OF unavailing
regret for the cordial handshake, the
kindly voice. the benevolent visage Of
him who has gone, those inspiring
words of admonitlon and promise Of the
gifted William Cullen Bryant;
SO live that when thy summons comes to
Join
Tn innumcrable caravan that onward
moves
To that mysterious realm where each shall
take
His chamber in the silent halls OF death,
Thou go not like the galley slave Mt night
Scourged to his dungeon, but sustained
aud soothcd
BY mn unfaltering trust, approach thegrave
As one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him aud lies down TO pleasant
dreams.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
u T Q IN G q n T
No. A9.-CurtailinRh.

l. Plume-plnm. 2. Heron--hero. 3.
Sircn-sire. L. Panel-pane. .. Swamp
swan. g. Slate-slat. Z. Duel--due. s.
DrRms-dram.
The successful competitor for the month
is Miss Mary X. Cause, of No. 6l9 Delaware
avenue, this city, who sent correct answers
to all the puzzles, with n single exception.
She is entitled 10 her selection from the
prize books or articles mentioned in the
introduction TO the first instalment of this
department.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
GOWNS.
$4,000 Go7Ws

1900 Go50RS
Good heavy Muslin. Mother Huh.
bard surplice yoke effect, "a rows
spaced plating and cambria rutfle
on neck, yoke and sleeves, 35c
Three pieces only sold to one
buyer.
24oo Go5pRs
Good heavy Muslin, Mother Huh.
bard yoke of so plaits, neck, yoke
and sleeves trimmed with neat
embroidery, soc. Three pieces
only sold TO one buyer.
1900 GoalWS
Good heavy Muslin, Mother Huh.
bard yoke, . rows fine inserting
between 40 fine plaits, neck, yoko
and sleeves trimmed with neat
embroidery, roc.
1920 Go1OmS
Good heavy Muslin, Mother Huh.
bard surplice yoke effect, 2 rows
of neat insertion between ia Ana
plaits, Swiss embroidery on neck,
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28
cONsERFAroRY or MUSIC.


Talented Pupils Desired Who win Adj
vance the Cause of Music in Their Nae
tive Land.
The National Conservatory of Music
of America, Nos. 1856 and 1873 East
Seventeenth street, New York, opens its
spring sessions the second week of the
new year. The conservatory is under
stood to be the Alma Mater of all aspir-
ing native talent of this country. In re-
ferring to this point the secretary says !:
at is the desire of the board to gather
from all parts of the United states,
pupils whose after labors will advance
the cause of music in their native land.
The position taken by the conserva-
tory Is on the same high plane as that of
the great French school In Paris and
aims to be thoroughly representative in
its character here.
The faculty list largely indicates the
latter claim, in such world-famed names
as DIR. Antonin Dvorak, director; oper-
attic department, Gustav Heinrichs; oru-
torio class, Mrs. Becbe Lawton; piano
Rafael Joseffy; organ, Samuel p.
Warren; violin, Camille Urso.
There are certain fees required. But
the statement is made that all appli.
cants having remarkable talent, and
without means, are taught free OF
charge.
There are annual prizes in the follow
ing subjects:
For the best grand or comic opera
(opera comiquel, in one act, $1,000.
For the best libretto for grand OIL
comic opera (opera comique), $500.
For the best symphony, $500.
For the best overture and cantata
5000.
For the best string quartet, 800.
The secretary, Charles Inslee Pardee
invites correspondence in relation to tn,
January semi.annual entrance examina
| tons
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

Arms OF snowy whiteneSs; neck pure as
alshSsteE, complexion like the blush of a
rose. She patroniEsd Glenn sulphur Soap
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

Ex.SpeaSer Reed is frank enough 10
give his party another backhauded slap
in his reference to the Wilson bill as
"only another tariff tinkerlng bill, the
like Of which has disturbed the con.
ditions Of business SO many times the
last thirty years" His contention is
that the bill which he put through the
House under "Reed rules" should be
accepted as tlnality, while all proceed,
ing attempts to get the tariff high enough
We're sbortiye efforts fruit,essly disturb.
ing the conditions OF business 80 many
times the last thirty years" The Erea.
tlg P9St gives a list q these Republican
tariff acts, chronologieslly arranged
there were % OF them in all. After SO
many Republican disturbances Of bust
ness in the direction of revising the
tariff upward, in the interest Of com.
biues and monopolies, surely the country
can stand one Democratic tariff revision
downward, in the interest Of the con,
sumner.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

The Morning AeWs appears to find
something treasonable--or al least un.
patriotic--in President Clcyelauds be-
lief that "the American market Is too
narrow for the American manufac-
turers." But ii the President is to fall
under condemnation on this score, what
shall we say of those among our enter
prising townsmcn who have for years
been cXemplifying their faith by their
works in the same directl9n2 With the
z. y j. Pylc Company shipping their
patent leather to England for the pnst
10 years, with the Harlan Is Hollings-
worth Company, the Pussy 4 Jones
Company and the Jackson n Sharp
Company building boats and cars to
foreign order for generation or more,
with tho du Points supplying gunpowder
to the world as far back at least as the
siege Of Sebastopol. with our hard fibre
manufacturers keeping up a branch
salesroom In the heart OF London, With
our carriage makers sending their pro-
ducts to the Antipodcans-~those and
many other examples that will suggest
themselves to the local reader Indicate
that President Cleveland is merely stat
ing truth that long since forced itself
upon the attention of many of our more
progressive fellow townsmen.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28


Under the management OF commits
sioners known and honored of all as
public spirited men who stood too high
to dabble in petty politics and who ac-
copied and regarded their trust as
public and not partisan one, the Will
mingtou Water Department has hitherto
deserved and held the high approval of
the people whom il has served SO well,
regardless Of which political party hap
pened to claim the allegiance of the
majority Of its members for the time
being. The department being run on a
business basis, with the same regard for
the best public service that tho commits.
sionors devoted to the conduct of their
private business, the people at large did
not bother themselves with respect to
the nominal political complexion of the
board. We certainly hope that the
rumors that this department is now to
be prostituted to the base ends OF mere
piece of party machinery may prove
unfounded, When that time comes the de.
partment will have outlived its usefulness
and the interests Of the payers will
require its abolition or reconstruction.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

The Baltimore SuH says; "trhe scenes
at the recent execution of two murderers
at Princess Anne, Md, have suggested
TO many the necessity for some change
Of methods. Il has been proposed that
the Legislature at the coming session
should enact a law providing that the
execution OF all death sentences should
take place at the Jail in the city Of Balti.
more, There is much to commend the
proposition. Some years ago law was
passed requiring the execution of death
sentences TO be private, This law, while
il may have been productive of some
good, has fallen far short of what was
expected TO be accomplished. A hang
ing in the counties rs usually still made
public spectacle, and no spectacle is
more brutali2ing and horrible, The old
theory that such exhibitions are warn
ing to those who witness them is not
true, One of the last persons hung in
Somerset county before the execution
last week was hung for . murder com
mitted on the way from hanging
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

given that be will not vote ID make
every Democrat In the employ Of the
department walk tho plank in order TO
make room for Republicans.
II Is only natural that Mr.. Hastings
should have given an evidence Of his
Characteristic bis-headcdncss in The
bunptlous remark, addressed directly
to President Porter, that "You deserve
no more credit for what you have done
than Mr, Pickles and myself deserve, so
faras our ability approached your own. .
II VIII be time enough to consider what
credit may DC due Messrs. Pickles and
Hastings whom they shall have rendered
| the public . measure OF service In the
Water Department that will make even
The slightest impression In contrast with
the splendid record Of efficient manage
mont and careful regard for the public
interests that stands forth conspicuous
rs tho result of Mr., Portcrs long and
honorable connection with the depart
ment
But, after all, those people who have
at heart tho interest Of tho Water De-
| partmont and desire continuance of
lis excellent business management, will
be glad that the undoubted political
motive that actuatod the changes In the
bylaws was exposed by EVERY EVEN.
ING. 1t has evidently brought upon
Messrs. Pickles aud Hastings the pro.
tests OF tho respectable members Of
their party. who will insist that the
management Of tho department shall
continue free from the contamination
Of partisan politics. II is this that hurts
them, Their toos are sore from the
continual tramping upon them BY in
dignant and protesting citizens, who
demand that at least one department Of
the city government shall be kept free
from tho grasp Of the party spokesman.
Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-28

49,
't'''' w si'sP " wy Pai'y si'oi's'na'''
Mr. Manning Gllacn writes n tho
lLrp;o9 N,re Ia inform Eyrny EvrN.
M ,hot ncysnn,,ors ~. .,,,,,on,o5n Il,
,or,,ity Ir ia h.d r.od isvY,y F,r,.
,Nn c,rcFnllv be wonld hsynd iscny.roa
uot ma ohyinus foct wos an,oidcoI,,
ennccdod ma noint ,l,at we md. was
MAJ INV ono ~ No yr.at Anor;oan
dnI,,,. i =, consnIcnons ond ror
vincIng ilns,rotinn ~ ma snnor,orIty
or A,nrrirn, nnergv NM ontcrrr;sc II
49, ind,stry nhi.h 4 ~, and .ann,,, ~,
nr,,,cc,,1 ~ mo a,nr;ns ~ ,oIT W.
stated lint thcnrcticnllv accnrliny Il
no htsh tn,,r man =, nnnro,o,,od IL.
ans,rr.-,hot i M whioL dave :,
,nriN nonsio, d,rnc, a. indirnc,oan
nat NV hirhor v,.os ora %, nradnno !,
hct,er and chonncr ,r,,clc thnn L ~
a,cod abroad hi. i ia ,,ro,ac,,nr
,hanr, o,hoS,,,,o ,,a.. ,.,,,fd /. ~
nnss,i,,o nn,,,nnv a. ,a,,nn III. h.,a,.
il u, ,to hodoay,,.r ,onh,s,,o,, a,,,,,.
,na hn,h,r ,ho :, -, iaharn. M 49,
drea otncr occnna,ions ~, M honot,
Il nrofosscd henelt n tho worlmon !,
,hn ca,nn,,in n,,lIs ~, 4 n,a,,a. :, :,
rnct AMI I'm o,nco of ~, i .ortl, ,
~ ~ ,hoar, tho n,ar,oan ,o,n.,,a,,o
nuhlisher i dcmons,rot,nr ia satlan,
If thia thoory cyerv DIV MA onlv Il h,
n,,orl, nnnr,,oc,oS ~ ,,,o tarig ~ i,
/. tnxod ~ m ,ori,T ~ his n,n,s ~
tync lii III, ma n,hor ,hinrs n,d 90,
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1893-10-26
The G. Onfederate War journal
for October

The. October number is just out, and
contains the following:
Portraits-Hon. Judah P. Benjamin, of
Louisiana, Secretary Of State of the Con-
federacy; General Braxton Bragg, g. S. A. :;
Commander Catesby APP r. Jones, IS. n;
Lieutenant Generals Ambrose p. Hill
of Virginia, Daniel Ii. Hill, of North
Carolina, and Richard (Dick) Taylor, Of
Louisiana.
ulustrations-Map of the Battle of Big
Bethel. Va; TIE Battle of Wilson's Creek
Coax Hills. or Springfeld), Missouri--size
913xl312 inches.
Descriptive Biographical Sketch
of General Braxton Bragg. 1.-The Services
of the Virginia (Merrimdc)," by captain
Catesby Ap, R.. Jones. c. S. N: List of
Officers of the Virginia; Accomplishments
Of the Re{ha ats Fleet The Battle Of
Bankhead Magruder and d. H. Hill
Operations of the Army in Missouri,
from July 25th to August 18th, 1861, in
Guiding the Battle of Wilson s Greek Coax
Hills. OF Springfeld,) Missouri" as
described by General Sterling Price;
Order OF March and Commands; Address
to the Soldiers o. Louisiana, Arkansas,
Missouri and Texas, by General Ben Nc
Culloch: Proclamation to the People of
Missouri. History of the Civil War,
Chronologically Arranged. Roster of the
Officers of the Confederate States Army
ana Navy, and their Commands. Ordi-
nances OF Secession of Virginia and Ari-
IONA. Confederate Poems. Organization
OF the troops i'll the Department of the
PENINSULA, commanded by General Ma
gruder. Abstract from the Return of the
Department of the Peninsula, an Abstract
from the Department of Norfolk, Major
General Benjamin II. Huger commanding.
Humors OF the Camp Fire, ETC.
Ihe November number will contain a
description of the Capture of Fort Donel-
son. by Generals Floyd, Pillow, Buckner
and Forrest, and other interesting matter,
besides Portraits. Battle Scenes, Maps,
- The subscription price of the Confederate
War Journal is only 81. 90 a wear: single
copies 10 cents. Addres the Confederate
War Journal, Lexington, KY, and ITO
Fifth Avenue, New York.