St. Landry democrat., 1893-04-29
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
The Ruling Passion-The First Spring
POem--His Face His Fortune-Too
Generous-Might Be Worse, Etc. Etc.

The Ruling Passion-The First Spring
Poem-His Face His Fortune-Tot
Generous-Might Be Worse, Etc. Etc
THE RULING PASSION.
"She has something of a tongue the.
say" q
s'something of tongue2 Well, !
should say she has. Why, man, she
talks in her sleep.'
THE FIRST SPRING POEM.
Soon we shall hear the cooling Of tn,
And see the grasses springing on the
hills;
The thoughts of youth will shortly turr
to love
And those of age to stomach draughts
and pills. New York Press.
HIS FACE HIS FORTUNE.
Mr.. Richmann-It seems to me that
your charges are very high.
Poor Artist-I do not charge for paint
ing your daughters portrait, sir That
was pleasure, and you are welcome to
the picture as free gift.
"Good gracious! Then what do you
charge fora"
''For not eloping with her."
The old man paid.--lNew York
Weekly.
| TOO GENEROUS.
He-I am afraid our wedding will
| hova fo ho noctncpo5 for xub;lo Ioor
| est.
She--Great heavens! Why?
Hell have been figuring little and
find that have given you 50 many ex-
pensive presents that | would not be able
to pay the taxes on them indianapolis
Journal.
NIGHT BE WORSE.
Practical Father (angrily)--I am told
that that young man who comes to see
you writes poetry.
Daughter-Y-e-s, father, he does.
"Pubishcs it, too, suppose?'
"No. No one will print it."
Then there's some hope for him -
New York Weekly.
AN INsUPERABLE OBJECTION.
''Rarrows's wife is a very handsome
woman"
"But she has one abominably homely
feature
"What is tllat?n
''Barrows. ~ Harpcr's Bazaar.
ALL THERE'S IN IT,
She-Why is it that people invariably
refer to newlywedded couple as the
happy pair =?
He (crustily) - Because there are
grounds for believing they're glad the
ceremony is over.
NEVER PIED AGAIN.
why don't you sing any more?'
asked the robin of the thrush.
Il heard somebody say smoking was
bad thing" said the thrush.
"What has that to do with it2'
Il gave up my pipe on that account
-!Harpcr's Bazaar.
HE NEVER CAME BACK
Clara-Why has Fanny Finnimaker's
wedding been postponed:
Maule-Thcy sent the groom down
town to match the wedding ribbon. -
lJudgc.
AN EXPENSIVE PRIVILEGE.
"Phew.." calculated Palmer This
is an awfuly expensive world. Here is
a man who is fined 800 for slapping the
face of one of the 400 1t would cost
man $40, 0O) to slap the lot.
y SOME Use YET.
Mother (reprovingly)-Every doll you
have has lost an arm, or leg, or head,
and some have>nothing left but the body. |
Now what are yep going to do2
Little Ethel (th0Sghtfully)--I don't
know, unless play dTne museum
Good News.
THEIR TASTES AGREsk
HeI am very fond of you.
SAe-How well our tastes aareeH
He-What! Are you fond of me(
She-Oh, no-of myself.-tVoguA
BY THE AMATEUR ARCHITECT.
If had thousand acres,
And mint or two of pelf,
might, perhaps, construct the house
That | designed myself.
A FATAL FIGHT AT LAST.
"There was terrible duel in France
"Really3"
eyes. One of the participants got
attled and hit the champagne basket
Broke every bottle. y Puck.
DROWNED.
"Why was the match spoiled p
''Ihe old man threw cold water on it,
hat would spoil any match. > Harper's
}azar. s
COMMIsERATION ;
Miss Stivetts-Miss Dennis's face is
cr fortune.
Miss Caustiquc (pityingly)-.Poor '
hing !-[Quips.
HE WAS TOO SMART. {
The clearinghouse joker has at last |
let with setback. lie has been crush {
d by the landlady, and it came about in
his way. a
Ha woo tho onlr ,,,,, - 41a 4s1I ru | s