The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-01-06
WHY HAM WAS CURSED.
He Tried to Work OFF Antednuvian Ches
nuts On the Crew of the Ark.

! AIAcu W " Oh Shcst
nuts On the Crew of the Ark.
The ark had been out of sight of Ian
a little over three months. 1t was get
! ting monotonous. How does sh
head?" said Noah to Shem, who ha,
just come off watch.
! Sou west by west, little west"
"All right" said Noah as he shifte'
his quid and resumed his examinatio.
of the chart.
This ought to be good day for fish
ing" said Japhet ''If only had some
| bait"
Speaking of bait" interrupted Ham
reminds me of the colored man VIII,
was fishing off the dock alongside
small colored boy when the boy fel
overheard The colored man"
Ham," said Noah, sternly, do yol
know how Cain escaped being hung fol
murder?"
NO; I don't remember"
"We1, his defense was that Abel haC
tried to ring in that old story on him
And the jury returned verdict of just
fable homicide"
Ham felt the rebule. There was ar
awkward pause. Presently there wa,
disturbance in the cattle depart
ment.
Sounds to me as if the bull was max
ing trouble" said Ham. And speak
ing of bulls reminds me of friend o.
mine who undertook to tame a bull.
He tied rope round his waist"
Eyes, Interrupted Japhet. II remem
Der that story. Tubal Cam set it to mu
sic; the bull belonged to his brot her-in
law; you needn't tell it"
Ham subsidized again
Seems to me, Ham, " said Noah, look
ing up from the chart, that you're d
kind of an ass"
"Ha! har said Ham, good-naturedly,
laughing at his own expense. But
that reminds me of what a man down
in Mesopotamia said to fellow who
was Dragging about his mule. He
said"
Never mind what he said" inter
rupted Shem. eve know all about the
mule and the buzzards and the whole
business. Methuselah used to play
marbles in his youth with the man who
made the remark about the buzzards
and he told the story twice week for
900 years"
Well" said Ham, 81 think this is
rather rough on a man who is doing as
well as he can / don't pretend that
these stories are new, but we've been
so long at sea with no company but the
animals, [ thought they might sort OF
enliven us"
There's where you make bleeding
error" said Japhet, these stories are
so stale they need disinfectants. They
are liable to breed disease and get us
quarantiued
Silence ensued for some time. At
length Shem said: Tomorrow being
Friday, I suppose we shall have fish for
breakfast" "
Speaking Of fish" said Ham. IRE
minds me OF farmer friend of mine
who went to a hotel on his wedding
tour and struck Goldfish cake"
''Merciful heavens" cried Noah. ris-
ing TO his feet; have we got to listen
TO these chestnuts all night? The man
who found something dead in the bread
was the prehistoric man himself Adam
found the story written in hieroglyphics
in the anteroom of cave bear. Ham,
if you don't shut up I'll throw you out
of the Window
Ham was angry, but he took the hint.
Weeks afterwards, as the family were
going ashore at Ararat, Noah said:
Ham, where are you going 70 lOcate?"
Raising his hand solemniy, Ham an
swerd: II am going to North America,
and | shall tell those four stories to
somebody who viii listen 70 them #
have 70 wait FIVE thousand years
Sure enough, Ham came up from
Georgia and told those stories in Tam
many hall Thursday night There has
always been some doubt in theological
circles what Noah "cnssedH ham for.
II he told the stories in the ark that he
aid in TammaBy hall the mystery IS
solved " J Tribune.