Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-07-29

out anu out 1aHket-NG were always
trained to regard John as the future
head of the family and in some sort
of another flesh and blood than we.
Though generous and very affectionate
fellow, John was naturally overbearing
and peremptory. and his position would
tend to develop these traits. respect
him and something more, but4 care most
for Henry. And am inclined to suspect
that Henry is mothers favorite, too,
though she never confessed as much and
is too aristocratic in her instincts to adj
nit it even to herself.
Perhaps | would better have taken a
leaf from Henry's book and have cut
loose from the family homestead and set
up for myself when father died. think
should have done so had l been left to
myself But mother was accustomed to
my ministrations, and John could hardly
| have dealt alone with the matters conse-
ouent upon his accession. And, to confess
the truth am incident ! lack ambition.
| lack motive If the opportunity or
the stimulus came, like to fancy might
do or be something in the world-if, for
| instance, instead Of John had inherited
Cedarcliffe and sec, eco la year. But since
in order to do that both John and Henry
must die before me, and unmarried, my
stimulus and opportunity are not likely
TO come to time Heaven forbid they
| should!
1t is rather singular, by the way, that
neither of us three boys has ever serious
| lv thought of marriage. John is now 80
and getting set in his ways For his own
sake, as well as for the family's, lie ought
not to delay much longer. Father set
his heart upon the pcrpetuatiou Of the
Mainwaring line in America, and he
| built this great stone mansion and
bought the 200 acres of ground on which
it stands with the purpose that it should
| be our homestead forever. Bat John does
not seem to be attracted by women or
| to attract them, apart from the fact
| that he is a millionaire. am not mar
rying man either. never was so much
in love with any girl as ! am with my
cobra. Henry is the lady man of the fam
lily. He was always cherishing romantic
passion for somebody and had a score of
| good chances of becoming a Benedict
even before he went abroad. What he
may have done since know not. But he
is as tickle rs he is impressionable, and
doubt whether he will ever bring him
self to the point of calling any woman
| b wife. What villainous mischance
it would be if we were all to remain
childless and Cedarcliffe were finally to
go to some of our unknown English rel
atives. There is Edward Forrestal, for
instance. my mothers brother. The last
we heard of him was 90 years ago, when
he married and was going to India. He
may have dozen children by this time
who would come in for share of our
spoils. 1t would be too bad.
Now that | have got my cobra in
| tend to make some experiments in snake
charming. 1 ought TO succeed, Tor L was
always fond of snakes, and they never
seemed inclined to harm me, hope to
discover how the effects are produced
and to get at something like a scientific
formula for it. There must be further
use for serpents than has been yet re-
vealed. Since the time of Adam they
are reputed to have done much harm to
the human race, but | believe that they
may be rendered as benefcent as they
| have hitherto been hostile. Probably the
rncients understood them better than we
do, and the Asiatics are still far in adj
vance of us in that respect. But there
may be something that no one has yet
detected, and | may be destined to hit
upon it. At all events it will be some
thing to do and to think about, and that
is what am in want of at present.
shall get my Indian toumril and set to
work tomorrow.
despise myself and my way of life. l
am nothing | think of nothing. | do
nothing-a man who has never loved, a
student who has made no discovery, a
physician who has never earned his liv-
ingi People say that prescribe for So
phie Stubbs and Mrs. Hodge and charge
them no fees out of benevolence, and
that refuse wealthy p tents from pride
that / may devote my time to scien-
tific research. But the truth is | have no
sense of human brotherhood. l cannot
breathe and hope and work with my fell
low men, | am gradually getting be-
numbed out of existence every year. Ev-
cry month finds my scope of action and
interest narrower. Yet | know that there
is in me the power to be great. Oh, for
some torch to kindle me into blaze. and
care not whether the torch be lighted
at the higher or the neither fire. sit and
read the newspaper to my mother when
might administer laws to a nation.
counsel my brother in the care of his es-
tate when | might direct the policy OF
an empire. investigate the physiology
of serpents when | might solve and de-
clare the secret of earthly immortality.
am pyg1ny when could be a Titan.
Is this insane vanity? think not. 1t ID
not that THAT my private unaided sell
is great, but that cannot rid myself OF
the conviction that was born to be the
instrument through which some great
result shall be accomplished. | cannot
escape a premonition that am destined
to render the name Of Mainwaring for
ever famous. But such prcmonitions and
convictions, though | cherish, | do moi
believe them. They are whit are Utmost
IN me. yet laugh them toseorn. know
that TO change viii come, no kindling
no enlargement, and nevertheless al
that preserves me from total spiritua
death is the secret assurance that the
impossible will occur. Well, if prove
great in no other way. shall prove my
sell Sc greatest of fools. But at least
will keep my folly to myself. | may
whisper it to my queen cobra-my Sa
prani--perhaps, for she will not reveal 1t
but unless it go far indeed it shall go M
farther.