St. Landry democrat., 1893-05-27
THE JOKER'S BUDGET,
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Circumstantiai Evidence-A Possible
Development OF Fad - Absolutely
Correct Didn't Like the House
An Explanation, Etc, Etc.

Development OF Fad Absolutety
Correct-Didn't Like the House
An Explanation, Etc, Etc.
| A POSSIBLE DEVELOPMENT OF FAD.
Visitor (in the school room)---Is thi
! the spelling class?
Teacher--No, this is the first class in
mud and apple cutting. We leave thu
: special courses to private schools.
ABSOLUTELY CORRECT
College Don--So you confess that the
unfortunate young man was carried out
to the pump and there pumped on
Now, Mr.. Geer, what part did you take
in this disgraceful affair?
Student (meekly) --The left leg, sir.
NOT A MODEL YOUTH, AFTER ALL.
-Wcstcott-I tell YOU there's strong stuff
in that young man.
Whyte (sarcastically)--Yes, I was 60
ing to the barroom just now, and saw
him put it in Somsrvillc Journal.
The millionaire, old and picturesque,
With the shrewd, sagacious head,
At nday sits at his Office desk
And munches a crust of bread.
The clerk a toby of old ale drinks,
Eats chops with joyous grin,
And envies the rich man who, he thinks,
Is feasting on terrapin.
And we think We see with vision fair,
Through these luncheons, cold and
hot.
Why one is always millionaire
And the other one is not.
-LPuck.
DIDN'T LIKE THE HOUSE.
Midgely-Did the architect carry out
your last plans?
Barton-I suppose he must have, for /
don't see anything of them about the
house. - Chicago Inter Ocean.
AN EXPLANATION.
"Papa," asked Willie, "What is a
phenomenaI!'
ut is phenomenal, my son." cx-
planned Mr.. Wisepate, when lawyer
is content with nominal fee - Judge.
one OF THE INCORRIGIBLEs.
A hi, sion school teacher caught one
of her small boy scholars in "a fib.
and she brought him up with round
turn.
Don't you know" she said, that it
is wicked to tell lic:'
II s'posc so, he replied, with indiffer-
cnce
"Why did you do it, then:''
II dunno
George Washington never told a
lie
who's George Washington? guess
he don't live in Detroit, docs he?"
The teacher was astonished and
panied.
''Why,' she said. very imprcssively,
George Washington was the greatest
man that ever lived"
The yourgster never tlickered.
swell, ! guess lie wuzn't when he
wuzn't no biygcr'n me-" he said. with
supreme confidence. and the teacher re-
lerrcd til" incorriyb!" to the superin-
tendent- Detroit Free Press.
SUE WAS, TOO
They said she looked good enough to eat,
And in this they didn't lie,
For it is a fact that the maiden sweet,
Could eat a whole mincc pie.
Il New York Press.
4 BEAUTIFUL DREAM.
Dudelev Cancsuckcr-I had beauti-
full dream last night Drcamt ! had
$50, 0G0 all my own.
Tommy INTERCHANGEABLE You woke
up to find you hadn't a dollar.
DUDLEY Canesucker-Ics; but | was
mighty Luckily not to dream Of having a
million ! don't think l could ever
have got over SO heavy a loss as that. -
Texas Siftings.
ONE WAY OUT.
Enamored Youth (who has been bid
ding her good-by for half hour)-Oh,
darling, how can leave thee?
Deep Red Voicc(from top of the stairs,
with fiery sarcas'm-Shall l come down
and show sou how. young man. Puck.
TRACED.
Hicks-Thcrc, For once I'll know
where that collar stud is when | want
Mrs. Hicks-W here is it?
Hicks-The baby has swallowed it |
brakes Magazine.
CALLED DOWN.
A "ten 'erfoot' in a mining town was
exhibiting with some ostentatinn little |
twenty-five calibre revolver, with the |
dea, probably, of letting the bad men,
If the place know that he was armed.
A cowboy who. like his fellows,
always went provided with two guns
VI forty-four calbre, was at length un-
lblc to longer control his disgust, and
ouching the "tenderfoot' on the Shout
Ter, remarked dryly:
Say, sonny, if you was to ever shoot
ne with that thing, and l found it out,
ID kick your pants. '-ETruth.
LOSING 200 PER CENT.
eyes" said the merchant, when |
irst began business put $4,000 in, and
lost 20 per cent a year for ten years"
"But, my dear fellow" protested the
listener, "2O per cent for ten years is 200
,cr cent, and you can't lose more than
90 per cent, you KNOW
Cant 1? Well, l did. just the same.