The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1893-09-28
NUMBER 81.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

After the Honeymoon.-She (sweet-
ly)-''What would living be without
me?' He (gloomily)-''Cheaper."-
Tit-Bits.
The photograph of boy never
looks like him, because no one ever
saw boy as clean as he is in a photo
graph.-Atchison Globe.
Keeping Time.-Watcher- -"Does
that clock l sold you keep timeP' Bire
1T does, indeed. 1t has been stopped
ever since got it. Detroit Free Press.
Horse Dealer-"I always pick my
customers" Friend-"Do you. l was
told that you skinned them. Brook
lyn Life.
-'Soled out" he murmured to him
self, as the father of his best girl gave
him lift at o'clock in the morning.
burlington Press.
-He-'An Irishman drowned here
last night" She-"How sad! Was he
Cork man?" He-"Cork man? No.
How could Cork man drown?"-Judy.
-Professor-'Tell me, sir, why it is
you smile so persistently?" Candidate
You ask such ticklish questions,
Herr Professor. ."-Dorfbarbier
"A Mixing of Genders.-Visitor Tin
dime museum)-''And is the bearded
lady your mother?' Infant Phenome-
non-'Nixy; she's me fadder. Chi
cago Record.
-Arthur-"And do you really love
me, pet?" Mabel-'Tf didn't do you
suppose could possibly endure hear
ing you ask that silly question thirty
times day. ."-Somerville Journal.
Rags pard, did you see
ghost in your dreams?' Taggs-
"Worse; 1 thought I'd just finished a
good, square meal" What's bad
about that?' bad! 1 thought I'd
worked to get it."-Inter Ocean.
A little girl, while isping her
prayer at her mothers knee before re-
tiring, stopped in the midst of her de-
votions and said: 30, Lord, please
wait minute until l scratch my toe"
N. Y. News.
Papa, what is a king?" ga king,
my son, is person whose authority is
practically unlimited, whose word is
law, and whom everybody must obey"
Papa, is mamma a king?'-Free
Lance.
Miss Summit-'I hear that your
father has sold his yacht" Miss Pali-
sade-''Yes, he couldn't afford to keep
it." Miss Summit-"Then the report
that you are going to be married isn't
true?'-Vogue.
I'm sure we shall be on good
terms" said the man who had just
moved into the neighborhood to the
corner grocer. mo doubt of it, sir,
Especially" he added as an after
thought, ''if the terms are cash" y
Washington Star.
The johnson Family Visit the
Great White ty.-Paterfamilias Ten
tering the gate at the head of the pro-
cession)-"Great lam, Gloriah! I'd a
giben dat spotted mule oh mine for the
contrac' OBJ whitewashin' dis yer
place!'-Harper's Weekly.
They say Printem's new story
paper has taken like willfre among
the women" ''Yes; result of one of
Printem's little schemes" "How's
that?" ''He publishes the last chapter
of each serial first. Buffalo Courier.
-He-"Well, what have you there?''
She-''Two of yoIr old letters, my
dear" He-"Umph! What's the first
one-that forty-pager?" She-"One you
sent me when 1 had slight cold before
we were married. This half-page is
the one you wrote last winter when ]
was very i'll with the influenza. That's
all dear. .''-Tit-Bits.
Wife Ito servant girD-"Here, Lima,
take this postcard and put it into the
pillar-box'' Surely, my
dear, you cannot think of letting the
poor girl run down three flights OF
stairs and up again for the sake of
Postcard Lima, just fetch me pint
of beer at the same time. ."-Fliegende
Blatter.