The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-10-18
ALI Sorts Of Paragraphs.


Nothing is really settled that is
not settled right. @
There are 267 ,456 miles Of tele-
phone wires in this country. 3
= People who blow their own horns
seldom furnish good music for other s
folks.
Borrowed trouble is hard to get
rid Of. One never knows to whom to 4
return it.
Two postofices in North Carolina
are are respectfully named, "Joy" and
A lady being twitted about her
ugly shaped nose, made it all right by
saying it was birthday present.
-Elmore: Did you ever see conn
pany Of women perfectly silent ?
Decker: Once. Someone had asked
which was the eldest. 81
-"Pa, are all politicians thieves 2
asked young Henderson. No, my
dear; some Of them never succeed in I
stealing anything"
=" "Didn't you promise to love,
honor and obey me p eyes; but the
minister has known me all my life,
and he knew I didn't mean it. y
Look out for the man who shakes
your hand with two fingers, 1t would
take asmany of him to make Chris
tian as snowballs to heat bakers
oven.
"A Presbyterian Church in New
York, Of which Rev. DR.. Wylie is now
pastor, has had but six ministers since
the Church was organized, 1877 years
ago. ;ss
The most reliable estimates Of
the value of farm crops for 1893 show
hay 81 ,OOO, 100000, corn $3.50, 1000, 600,
wheat $500, 100000 cotton $3.50, GOO,
600.
"A farmer near Buchanan, Ga.,
has, it is reported, a tame rattlesnake,
that has the freedom of the premises,
and beats forty yard dogs keeping off
intruders. q: q
Papa, said boy, know
what makes folks laugh IN their
sleeves. y ssWell, my son, whatmakes
them ?' Cause that's where their
funny bone is.
One Of the largest hauls Of mack
erel ever known on the Western Coast
was made recently in the West Bay at
Abbotsbury, Dorset, when over 80, 600
fine fish were landed.
- Moses. the great law-giyer and
reputed author Of the first FIVE books
Of the Bible, died On the anniversary
Of his birth, August 27 1705, b.
being exactly 120 years old: z &
-aBlinkers never contradicts his
wife. no matter what kind Of q state
ment she makes" aJust a lovely
disposition 2" 'sNo; she never gives
him chance to say anything.
- She-"As I am to be poor
mans wife, don't you think fought
to get q cookbook p He-"Wait q
little, my pet, until we make sure that
we will have anything to cook. rs. ss
= Live, as it were, on trust. All
that is in you, all that you are; is only
loaned to you; make use Of it accord
ing to the will Of Him who lends it,
but never regard it for a moment as
| your own. S
- One hundred dollars worth Of
nuggets Of virgin gold in box have
many years been awaiting aclaimant'
at the Dead Letter Office in Washing
ton. Does anybody know who the
rightfal owner is ?
The first Sabbath School was
instituted in 1857. There are now in,
the United States 108, ,939 Sabbath
Schools, with e,649,OO0 scholars.
The world has 20,078,595 Sabbath
School scholars.
! The Rector: Did you ever hear,
of the theory that people will have the
same vocations in the next world as
they had in this f? The Widow 1
don't believe my husband will. He
was an ice dealer.
! The edible dogs of China are
known by their blush black tongues.
They never bark, and are very taci-i
turn. Four millions and half are
slaughtered annually to titillare the.
palates Of Celestials.
Joseph Samuels Of Page 6ountN
Virginia, who is 81 and his wife So
are proud, happy and thankful to say,
that they have never yet had use for a
doctor. They live on the farm where
| Mr. Samuels was born.
There has been considerable dis.
cussion as to who invented spectacles
and who had che pleasure of wearing
the first pair. The honor is generally
awarded to an Italian named Salyino
Armati, who died in 1917.
Little Dick--Dot isn't going to
give me any candy. | sSpow it.
Mother-Didn't she say shep1ould Z?
Little Dick-Y-e-s, but she said it
lust the way sister Clara says s'Don' T.,
when some feller is going to kiss her.
Teacher Clearing arithmetic class
recite) mike, if you should see
seven birds on tree, and should shoot
three of them, how many birds would
remain ?" Mike-"Nary one, mum );
the rest O. them would be afther Ayin'
away"
Cornelius Ryan, of Waltham,
Mass, found in railroad station four
years ago wallet, which he returned
to the owner, whose name and address
were among the papers it contained,
and recently found himself named for
81 900 in the mans will.
One night when Alberta was put
to bed she said her usual evening
prayer. Her mother was little sur
prised, however, to hear this unusual
petition: 20 Lord, make me a better
girl; and make my papa and mamma
better, too-if you possibly can.'
= If the eyes are tired and inaamed
from loss Of sleep, by sitting up late
or long travel, apply in the morning
soft white linen, dripping with hot
water-as hot as you can bear it..
laying the cloth upon the lids. You
| r. IL onI froo From,