davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
aIgsanAria GazGtte.
WEI NEsDAY EVENING. SEPT. 6. 1892.
A HUNGRY MANS DREAMs.-one Of

A HUNGRY MANS DREAMs.-One Of
the worst evils attending penal serN-
tude is said to be the hunger which as
sails man with a healthy appetite
during the first months or years OF his
imprisonment. A man who has just
done a long term for forgery says i
used to 60 to bed every mig hit pinched
by hunger. began dreaming OF ban
uuets. and would have thought roth
Jug strange about it had not the same
dream come to me every night. Inc
banquet was always the same, in tic
same place, and l always had the same
place at the table. The exasperating
thing about it was that just as the first
course was offered / always awoke, so
that even in my dreams was not per,
mitted to taste of the munificent spread
which was nightly presented to me in
leep. / dreaded to go to bed because
the dream tortured me. II only made
me the hungrier, and l then understood
the agony of Tantalus, the king
who was tortured with thirst, and to
whose lips the waters were ever coming
and recedng just as he was III the act
of taking drink. "-BOStOn GLOBE.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
SOCIETY DIRECTORY.

Knights Templar, Old Dominion command
erv meets every third Friday of each month
a; Masonic Temple.
Royal Arch Chapter Mount vernon hoya
Arch Chapter meets every first Friday of each
month at Masonic Temple. -,
Alexandria-W aShihStoh !ocse VI r., va
SONS meets on the second and fourth Thurs
days of each month:
Andrew jackson Lodge OF Masohs meets OK
the first and third Inursaa!S Oh each lioi so
Potomac Lodge OF Ouu reiio"S, No. %
meets in their hall, on north Columbus street
every FRIDAY hlght. 10
Sarepta Lodge /: o. y. r., no. 40, meets III
their hall, on hihs street, every iueS0as
night,
Marley Encampinehl' NO o. neeS Eseiy
second and fourth Monday at ooa FELLOWS
Hall, north Columbus street:
Mechanics Lodge Knights OF Pythias NO.
3 meets every Thursday night III fythiah
Hall. north Pitt street
Oriental Lodge Knights OF Pythias meets
every Friday night on north Pitt street.
Alexandria Lodge X. of P, No. 10, meets
Wednesday nights at Sarcpta Hall, King
street
Potomac Tent Rechabtes meets in Sarepta
Hall every Friday night.
Golden Light Lodge Of Good Temp!ars
meets in their hall, 'on south Fairfax street
every Tuesday evening.
Talisman Lodge Good Templars meets every
Monday night in Pythian Hall, north Pitt
street.
junior Order kechabites meets every MON
day night at Good Tcmplar's hall, south FAIR
fax street.
Refuge Council. Sons OF Jonadab, NO. L.
meets every Monday night at Sarepta Hall
juvenile Temp lals meets every saturday
afternoon at Good Iemplais Hall south falr-
fax street.
Champion Castle, no. D, khightS Of uoideli
ESeIc meets every Wednesday night at Good
Tsut9!ars hall. south Fairfax street.
Alexandria CoGncl Royal Arcanum meets
Potomac Hal! room north Columbus street,
se,,.,G AID fourth Tuesday.
t.,i.e Haven !."iGr knights Of Honor meets
CO..: hr-; and tiuid lleScay IN POTOMAC
1~oge rooia, north Columbus street,
s.'ieFt andrews DIVISION bTothernoou OF
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
Opening and Closing of the Mails.

opening anu SiOSlnS Oh TIC "ails.
Northern mails close at : 80 and 9 so a. m.
and l. 50. 6 80 and S45 p. IN. Open at
8 GOA M. II co IN. and Is 30 m.
Southwestern mails via Charlottesville,
close at ! 80 and II 90 Il. m. and 40 p.
IN. Open at S 90 n. m and 3 90 m.
Chesapeake and Ohio mails close at so
y. m and 5 10 p. III. Open at 90 a. NJ. and
> 90 p. m.
Southern mails. via Richmond. close at
10 10 H. m and , 80 and s 40 p m. Open
81. 5 90 a. m and 2 30 p M.
Manassas Division mails close at so a. IN.
srd 30 p. IN. Open at 9 90 a. IN.
Alexandria and Round Hill mails close at
s 40 a. M. and 90 P. IN. Open at 8 90 am.
and 5 10 p. IN.
Western mails close at 8 As a. m and
ID SOP. m. Open at 8 Goa. IN. and II 90 IN.
Washington mails close at so and 8 so a.
m and u 80, 4 40, so and 8 40 p H.
Open at s 90 aud 10 90 a. NJ, u 90 m and
3 80 and SO p. m.
Office Hours-Open at s 90 a. m. Close at
8 30 p, ~. Open at T. 30 p. M. Close at Z 90
p. m.
Sunday Hours-open at 9 90 m. Close
at 9 80 A. M.
Carriers Schcdule-Colections made at
6 80 and 10 90 q. III. and II 20, 8 90 and
5 40 p. III.
Deliveries made at 90 a. M, ~ 90 m. and
500 p. IN.
Sunday-Carriers' window open at 90 and
Close at 8 80 a. m.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
SLEEPING CAR SERVICE.

Nos. 81 and 3S are composed entirely OF
Pullman cars, on which no erird fare is charged
over and above regular Pullman charges.
Through Pullman Sleeping Car between New
York and New Orleans, New York and Au
gusta. connecting at Salisbury with Parlor car
for Hot Springs, and ut Columbia with 5. &
Railway for Charleston ; also Pullman Sleep
or between Washington aud Memphis via At
!anta and Birmingham. and Birmingham to
Columbus, Miss. Dining Car between New
York and Montgomery.
On trains Nos. So aud Sc Pullman Buffet
jleepers between New York and Atlanta
uniting at Greensboro with Pullman Sleeper
for Augusta.
WASHINGTON AND OHIO DIVISION.
Leave Alexandria from depot at 8 10 a. M.
and 1 30 p. m. daily, arrive at Round Hill
II 4Oa m. and 10 p. NJ.
Leave W. & o. Junction daily 6 al p. m.
for Herndon, arriving at Herndon 40 p. nj,
Returning trains leave Round Hill 90 a.
NJ and 30 p. m. daily, arriving at Alexan-
dria at 8 % a. IN. and 03 p. NJ.
Leave Leesburg daily at % a. m, arrive
Alexandria wv. & 0. Junction. s So q. m.
The 8 10 a. m. train from Alexandria con-
meets at Round Hill with stage for Blue Ridge
Berryvile and Winchester, and at Leesburg
with stages for Aide and Middleburg.
The 9 10 a. m. train aud 4 so p. NJ. train
from Alexandria connect at Vienna with
stages for Fairfax Courthouse.
Through tickets on sale at the principal
stations to all points. For rates or informa-
ton apply to any agent of the company or to
w. A. TURK, G. P A., Washington, d. c.
s. II. HARDWICK, A.G.P.A., Atlanta Ga.
j. B. THOMPSON, Supt.. Rich'G., Va.
w. H. GREEN, Gen. Mgr, Washington.
SOL HAAS, Traffic Mgr Washington.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
KING STREET LINE.

Cars every ten minutes, connecting with al
Pennsylvania Il. R. trains and boats viz
Washington and Alexandria ferry.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06

washington ana Alexandra Terry.
FOR NEW ALEXANDRIA. RIVERSIDE
PARK AND Mt. VERNON.
South Bound-Leave King and Fairfax
streets at 30, S 10. S 40, 8 10 9 40 10 TO-
10 40, II 10 and II 40 a. H., and II 10
- 10, 10. 40, . 10. 40, , 10, $40
4 10. 40, ) 10, ; 40 and 10 p IN. For
Riverside Park only 30. 10. : 40, 8 10,
5 40 and 9 10 p. Ill. Arrive at Mt Vernon
! 10 s 40, Is, ID. 10 ID, 10 40, II 10
and / 10 a. m, and u 10. II 45, Is,
/ 40, 215, . 10, 3 10, 3 ID, 4 10, 40.
) 10, 5 10, 6 ID and 6 40 p ~ Arrive at
Riverside Park only at 10, Z 40, 10,
5 10 9 10 and 40 p M.
North Bound-Leavc Mt Vernon at 10,
s %. %, 80, 10 %, 10 so, II 25 and
II 80 a M, and u 25, u 30, 25, So,
, %, > 30, 325, %, 4 %, 4 30, %,
Park only at 80, 8 90, s 30, 900 and
1915 p. N. Arrive at King and Fairfax
streets at 7 30, 8 30. 1000, 10 30, II 90
and II 80 a. M, II noon, and u 30, 90.
80, = 90, 30, 3 90, 3 80, 4 90, 30,
800, ) 80, 600. q 30. 100, 30, s 90,
s 30, 9 90 and 10 40 p. III.
Persons having packages or other freight to
ship will procure stamps from the company's
agents. Packages must be properly stamped
before they will be forwarded. Those having
milk to ship will purchase tickets which are
issued for this species of freight.
Round trip tickets beoween New Alexan-
dria and Washington and single trip tickets
from Mount Vernon and New Alexandria to
Washington. Baltimore, Philadelphia, Tren-
ton Elizabeth. Newark and New York via
p K. Z. and 3. & o. r. r. J; also to Pittsburg,
Cincinnati, st. Louis and Chicago via B. & o.
E. r. for sale on the cars
D. W. HOLDEN, Superintendent.
VIM. S. NOBLE Gen. Manager.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06

WARRENTON-Trails Nos. 9, Is, So
connect daily for Warrcnton. Nos. 10 and &c.
iaily, and 16 daily, except Sunday, from
WarrentOn.
FRANKLIN DIvISION-Leave Rocky
Mount daily except Sunday 45 a. H., ar
rive Franklin Junction $50 a. M
Leave Franklin Junction daily except Sun
day 4:30 p. m; arrive Rocky Mount 7:30
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
Mt. VERNON ELECTRIC RAILWAY.

Time Table in effect August 1st, 1893.
On and after this date cars after leaving
Alexandria will stop at the following stations
only: New Alexandria, Dyke, Belmont We'll
lington. Arcturus. SnOwden's. Hunters, Riv-
erside Park and Mount Vernon
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
STEAMERS.
WTASHINGToN STEAMBOAT CON-
w PANY LIMITED0
FERRY SCHEDULE
On and after Monday. March 9th, 1888, boats
will r,,n o. fnllnMS.

On and after Monday. March 9th, 1893, boats
will run as follows:
Leave Alexandria. foot of King street, al
go, 7 30, S 80, 80, 10 30, and ] ~, 3,
M, II 80, 80, . so, 8 80, 4 30, 5 80, + 20
and is p. M.
Leave Washington, foot of 18th street,
at 10, 7 80. s SO. $50. 10 30 and
Il 30 a M, II 30 ! 30, . 30, 3 80, ~,
5 50. g SO and - p N. n. 2. Same sched-
ulc Sundays, commencing 8 30 a. III.
PoT03IAC RIVER LANDINGS-STEAA-
Ell Observation-Disclosures Washington
Mondays and Wednesdays at 8 p IN, ana
Alexandria at a p. H., and Washington on n
Saturdays at $50 p. IL. and Alexandra al
D. M. for river landings as far as Kinsale. Re-
turning Wednesdays aud Fridays. STEAM
En- WAKEFIELD leaves Washington Mon,
days. Wednesdays and Saturdays at o
a. H.. and Alexandria 1T s % 4. H., for land
ing5 as far as Nomini.
C. w. RIDLEY. General Manager.
JOHN B. PADGETT. Agent.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DRUGGISTS,

WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DRUGGISTS,
los and 1O7 south Fairfax street.
Dealers in Drugs, Chemicals, Patent Medi-
cines Paints, Oils, Dye StutiS, Spices, Drug
gists' Fancy Goods and Specialties.
Wholesale agents in Northern Virginia for
J. c. Ayers Medicines and John Lucas q Co.'S
Tinted Gloss and Prepared Paints, &c.
Manufacturers OF Standard Pharmaceutical
Preparations
We have made large additions to our stock
and are buying leading Proprietary Articles,
Chemicals, &c, direct from: the manufacturers.
We are therefore enabled to supply the trade
with all goods usually carried by well-ap-
pointed WHOLESALE DRUG HOUSE at
prices as low as those given by the best houses
in larger cities All goods forwarded by first
freight or express after receipt Of order.
Promptness is our speciality. We guarantee
the purity of all drugs furnished. Core
SpOndcnce invited.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
MEDICINAL,
for Infants and Children.

"Castorla isso well adapted to children that
recommend i; as superior to any prescription
known TO me- II \. ARCHER, II. D.,
i'll 80. Oxford ST., BROOKLYN, y. Y.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-09-06
WTARFIELD & HALL,
DRUGGISTS,

English, French, German and Domestic
Toilet Soaps; Genuine Farina Cologne; Mag
nolia, Hcdyosinia, Geranium and Florida
Water; Genuine Lubin's Extracts; Spongcs,
Hair Brushes and Combs best English Tooth
Brushes; full assortment of Patent Medi-
cincs; Coxes Gelatine, Com Starch, Sea Moss
Farine, Spices Of all kinds, and q select stock
of all articles sold by druggists at prices as low
as the same quality can be ohtainel elsewhere.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
Escaping Torture.

During General Clusters attacks on
Kettles camp during one of the
United States Indian wars, some Of
the prisoners, taking advantage of
the thick brush, broke through the
line of the troops, and escaped to the
prairie.
Major Elliot, calling some of his
men to follow, dashed off in pursuit
of the fugitives. Not one of the
nineteen cavalrymen was ever again
seen alive by white man.
Intent on hispurpose, and not sus-
pecting the vicinity of other camps,
Major Elliot found his little party
surrounded by an overwhelming
horde of Indians.
Dismounting, loosing their horses
and forming in a circle, the little
band of twenty brave men prepared
to sell their lives as dearly as pos
sible. In less than twenty minutes
every man but one was dead.
Wounded in several places, his
ammunition expended, Sergeant
Major Kennedy stood alone, sabre
in hand.
No shot was fired at him, no ef-
fort was made to kill him, but sew
eral of the Indians approached him
with hands thrust out, saying:
"Howp How?"
To we'll he knew the meaning of
this kindly demonstration. He was
to be reserved for all the horrors Of
the torture.
He saw that his only hope Of es-
Gaping torture was in so exasperat-
ing the Indians that they would kill
him.
Seeming to surrender, he advan-
ced towards the chief. They ap-
preached each other, hands extend
ed. Quick as thought Kennedy's
sword passed through the chiefs
body. One instant of terrified sur
prise OH the part of the Indians;
the next, twenty bullet-holes in
Kennedy's body. The merciful
death had come to him.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
For the Best of Reasons.

There is perhaps no more unfair
question than that which certain
rejected swains are said sometimes
to ask the object of their ELECTION,
subsequent to their refusal-"But
why won't you marry me?"
A formula for reply to a ques-
tion of this sort is said to have been
framed by young woman who had
to do with an importunate lover,
Said she: 81 would marry you but
for three reasons" "Tell me
what they are" he implored, that
| may remove them"
Unhappily for him she did tell
him. The reason were, as she
stated them: "In the first place, l
do not love you; in the second
place, | don't want to love you; in
the third place, l couldn't love you
if did want to-"
Surely reply so comprehensive
should satisfy any reasonable man,
even if it did tend to injure his
self-esteem,
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
The Toilet of Birds.

The featered tribes have many pc
culiar ways and fancies about the
details. of their toilet.
Some birds use water only, some
water and dust, while others pre-
fer dust and no water.
Birds are not only exceedingly
nice in their choice Of bath water,
but also very particular about the
quality of their "toilet dust"
Wild ducks, though feeding by
salt water, prefer to bathe in fresh
water pools, and will fly long dis
tances inland to running brooks and
ponds, where they preen and dress
their feathers in the early hours Of
the morning.
Sparrows bathe often, both in
water and in dust. They are not
SO particular about the quality of
the water as about the guilty Of
the dust. They prefer clean water,
but | have seen them take dip in
shallow pools that were quite mud
dy.
The city sparrow must take a
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
Plain Words Well Handled.

Nothing is more astonishing in
literature than the meager variety
of words to be found in the pro-
ductions of great writer's. The
same words recur time and again in
Shakespeare. His noblest fights
OF fancy and his finest outbreaks Of
passion are expressed in simple
terms that are daily in use in every
intelligent American household.
Addison, a prince of writers Of
graceful prose English, employs
few words that the average school
child does not understand and can
not define. The simplicity of Ian
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

guage in the Pilgrims Progress"
is proverbial, yet it is sufficient to
portray emotions ranging from the
agonies of remorse to the raptures
of the redeemed. The phraseology
of Swift and Goldsmith, except
when technical subjects are under
discussion, is almost as limited.
The Bible is largely repetition of
few simple words.
Mastery of language consists in
the proper arrangement of words
rather than in a multiplicity of
words. The use of simple terms is
evidence of the highest art. 1t is
the sole way, indeed, as a rule, in
which the firnest and widest I'M
pressions can be made. To attain
such command of speech depends
in large measure upon the possess
sion of imaginative faculties. Met
aphor is frequently a substitute,
not only for large words, but for
many words. 1t suggests rather
than depicts, and from its peculiar
measure makes necessary the en-
ployment of terms that are readily
understood. 1t should not be for
gotten, also, that there are few pur-
suits that demand a varied vocabu-
larry.
Many of the technical terms
used by lawyer are Of little prac-
tical worth to physician or a mer-
chant, or vice versa. 1t is ques-
tionable also if the English Ian
guage is not worse for the multi
tude of unnecessary adjectives that
have crept into it from one source
and another. "Junius" looked up
on adjectives as if they were per-
sonal enemies. Macaulay used
them under protest. There is a
peculiar force in the familiar obser-
vation of Thomas Hobbies: "Words
are wise mems counters-they
do but reckon by them-but they
are the money of fools. New
York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent
Rooms 4, 8, Dawson Block.
will take chargeof estates for residents and non.
residents collect rents pay taxes place insurance
obtain abstracts OF title. etc.
Ofice bours-10 to 12A. NJ, A to 6P.M.
Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.

water bath where he can get it
in the street, or on the tops of
of houses-but he is most careful
in the choice of his dust bath.
Road dust, the driest, and finest
possible, suits him best.
have noticed the city sparrow
taking his dust bath in the street,
and invariably he chooses place
where the dust is like powder.
Partridges prefer dry loan. They
like to scratch out the soil from
under the grass and fill their feath-
ers with cool earth. Most birds
are fond of burnt ashes. Some
early morning take a walk across
field that has been burned over,
and see the number of winged
creatures that rise suddenly from
the ash heaps.
A darting form, a small cloud Of
ashes, and the bathers disappear.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
And He Never Came Back.

Alexander ii. H. Stuart, when
Secretary of the Interior under
President Fillmore, used to tell the
following good story of how he
got rid of on office-seeker soon af-
ter assuming the Office.
II was very much annoyed by %
persistent applicant for the post Of
messenger The man came in reg
ularly every day for several weeks
until he became an unbearable
bore. Finally one day after the
man had gone out | asked the mes
senger then in the Office if he knew
what that man was after. He
said:
"'No, sir
WELL said |, he wants your
place, and if ever / see him again
he shall have it,
CT na,,o, eou, @ba mas, ooo,,, -
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
For Over Fifty Years

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been
used for over fifty years by millions of
mothers for their children while teething,
with perfect success. 1t soothes the child,
softens the gums, allays all pain, cures
wind collie, and is the best remedy for
Diarrhoea. 1t will relieve the poor little
sufferer Immediately. Sold by Druggists
In every part Of the world. Twenty-Five
cents bottle. Be sure and ask for "NIrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup" and take no
other kind. 1887
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
How We Grow Old.

The thread that binds us TO life is most fre-
quently severed ere the meridian of life is reached
in the case of persons who neglect obvious means
to renew failing strength. Vigor. less the
source of happiness than the condition of long
life, be treated and perpetuated where IL does
not exist. Thousands who have experienced or
are Notwithstanding many physicians of en-
inence-of the effect of Hostetters Stomach Bit
ters, bear testimony TO lis wondrous efficacy as a
creator OF in feeble constitutions and de-
bilitated and shattered systems. steady per-
formance of bodily functions, renewed appetite,
flesh and nightly repose attend the use of this
thorough and standard renovant Use no local
tonic represented to be akin TO or resemble it IN
effects in its place. Demand the genuine, which
IS an acknowledged remedy for indigestion, ma
laria, nervousness, constipation, liver and kid
ney complaints and rheuma atism
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Sue Deering-"Im afraid papa
was angry when you asked him for
me, Jack, loveP" Jack Hillow--
"Not at all. He asked if knew
any more respectable young men
who would be likely to marry your
five sisters if properly coaxed."-
Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
A Surgical Operation.

For the cure of Piles is always painful,
often dangerous aud useless, and invari
ably expensive; on the other hand there Is
o new, certain cure. perfectly painless.
gives instant relief and permanent cure
and costs but a tride. 1t is the Pyramid
Pile Cure. It Is moro certain euro than
q surgical operation, without any of the
intense pain, expense and danger OF an
operation. Any druggist will get 1t for
you.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Every Man whose watch
has been rung out Of the bow
(ring), by pickpocket,
Every Man whose watch
has been damaged by drop
ping out of the bow, and
Every Man of sense who
merely compares the old pull
out bow and the new
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
Il Is Strange

That people suffering from Piles will
endure them for years or submit to dan
gerous, painful, cruel and expensive
surgical operations, when all the time
there is n painless, certain, lasting cure,
which gives instant relief and costs but
trihe. 1t is called the Pyramid Pile Cure
and can be found at all drug stores. Any
druggist will get II for you II you ask
him.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
never saw the man again.

Mrs. Chicago was just tell
ing frankie the story of Jack and
the Beanstalks." Mrs. Boston
"Little Emerson heard the story Of
Jack and the leguminous plant
known as the Faba Vulgaris before
he was put into spectacles. Min
neapolis Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Yellowly-"It is the scarcity Of
bills that is paralyzing the business
of the country" Brownly-"You
are decidedly wrong, my boy.
had seven bills presented to me be-
fore IL o'clock yesterday. New
York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Editor--"Isn't this arather queer
ending to this romance-no mar
riage mentioned?" Authoress-"I
omitted the marriage because !
wanted it to be strictly romantic in
every detail. There is nothing ro-
mantle in marriage. Indianapolis
Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Speaking of good hands, l held
one last night that was worth a
cool hundred thousand to me" !"
"You don't say! What was it?"
"Miss Bullion's. Down on the
ach."-Brooklyn Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Debtor-"Don't get scared, the
account will be paid in time,
Creditor-"T -"That's what I'm afraid
of."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

He (thoughtfully) -"When a
man marries twice, which wife does
he take when he gets to Heaven. VI
She (who loves him, dreamily)-
"Neither. A man who marries
twice dosen't go to Heaven. y
Vogue.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23
HUMOROUS.

He pressed his lips upon her hand
She said twas out of place;
He rectifed the error
And kissed her on the face.
Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Some men try to carry the world
on their backs while somebody else
is carrying their families.
ton News.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

The man who is looking for a
soft thing can find it on the average
boarding house butter dish just
now.-Buffalo Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-08-23

Young wife-"How nice it would
be if life were a perpetual honey
moon-nothing but billing and
cooingp" Young husband-"H'm
I think l could get along with just
the cooing."-Truth.