Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-05-01
JUST FOR FUN.


Tyre, but it isn't wise to harp on it too
much.
1t is very poor economy to endeavor to re-
lieve cold by neglecting it, when a bottle Of
DR.. Bulbs Cough Syrup viii cure it at once.
A pessimist likes a thing he can't
enjoy, and an optimist enjoys thug
he can't like.
There's time to work and time to
play, but to the hand organ grinder
both times come at once.
Why not make the cactus the ma
tional flower? 1t has more fine points
than any other yet mentioned.
He-I can tell just what people are
thinking of me! She - Indeed! How
unpleasantly it must be for you!
GA stitch in time"often saves consumption.
Downs Elixir used in time saves life.
Your speech it rather sharp, think,
complained Mrs. Hawkins. have to
make it SO to get it in edgewise, re-
torted Harkins.
Mr.. Bilkins - What a sad face that
woman has. Mrs. Bilkins-Yes, poor
thing, she has either loved and lost, or
loved and got him.
[ see Roughpath has got down to
work. Light finger Struck a good
job, has he, for the winter? Yep, work
ing out 800 fine.
Breathing through the nose is the
only proper way to sleep. If you
awake in the night and find your
mouth open, get up and shut it,
Teacher-Tommy, you may give a
sentence illustrating the difference
between could and can. TOMMY
could have good time fishing to-day,
but 1 can't.
You know Bigphee, the great corp
Grafton lawyer? Well, thieves broke
into his house last night. And did
they get away with much? Yes, with
their lives.
The most aggravated cases of rheumatism
have been speedily and permanently cured ty
Salvation Oil. Every one should have it, IS
cents.
1t always bothers a Frenchman who
is learning English to read one day
that a murder has been committed
and the next day that the murderer
has been committed.
If the next postmaster general will
invent a postage stamp that you can
stick without a lick he will win for
himself more fame than all the rest of
the members put together.
The inventor of the alphabet must
have been a modest man, said Hawk
ms. Why so? asked Mawson. Because
he began it with A, said Hawkins.
Most men would have begun with I.
A teacher was explaining to a little
girl how the trees developed their TO-
liage in springtime. "Ah, yes" said
the wee miss, 81 understand: they
keep their summer clothes in their
trunks"
First Boy = Coin TO the Sunday
school picnic? Second Boy-No; went
las year. What was the matter with
it' Too much talk about thu goodness
of our heavenly Father, land not enough
ice cream.
Mrs. Della Nj. Jones, Granville, N. Ywrites:
81 have the highest praise to give TO DrBuITs
Cough Syrup. We have used it in our family
for five years with the best effects"
Mrs. Strongmind - Why don't you
go to work? Tramp-Please, mum,
made solemn vow twenty years ago
that I'd never do another stroke of
work till women was paid the same
wages as men.
First Boy-Wot yer all drest up fer?
Second Boy-Celebratin' Easter. First
Boy--Wot's Easter? Second Boy
Well, if you amt Ounce! Why, East
er's de day wot Saint Patrick inter
duced eggs inter Ireland.
Tired Harry could you help
poor Teller a little? I've got haclzin'
cough an a headache. Mrs. Kind
lings-Well, I've got little wood out
side you could hack, and it might cure
your headache. Tired Harry-Much
obleeged, mum; but, yer see, my
headache amt of Their splittin' kind