Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1893-01-12
A PERPLEXED HOST.
A TURKEY DINNER At WHICH THE
BIG TURKEY WAS ABSENT.

BIG TURKEY WAS ABSENT.
How a Crowd of Country Lads Spoiled a
Nicely Planned Feast-Mysterious Dis
appearance of a Roast Turkey The
Flight of a Tender MorseI.
4 gentleman noted for his originality
made the following improvement to the
old saying, There's many slip 'twixt
the cup and the saucer the other day
in speaking of disappointment friend
of his had experienced in losing his din
ner through missing train-a dinner to
which he had been invited and at which
he had been selected to respond to one
of the toasts.
The simple missing of the dinner was
more than set of at the old General
Shields hotel. on the West Chester pike.
A company of twelve Philadelphians in
terested in real estate developments had
gone out in the country for the purpose
of looking about for profitable invest
ments, and had sent word to the proprie-
tor of the old hostelry of their coming
and ordered an old fashioned turkey din
ner to be ready at o'clock.
The order put the proprietor in his best
humor and the entire establishment into
an unusual furry of exciting prepara-
ton. The hostler hurried to the nearest
farmhouse, where he purchased the
finest turkey to be had, and carried it
back to the hotel in triumph. Taking
it into the stable he dispatched and
plucked it in great haste. Everything
was excitement in the large kitchen from
the time the order was announced until
late in the afternoon. when the last dish
was ready to be carried to the dining
room.
The news of the gentlemen coming
spread through the village. and every
one felt duty bound to go to the hotel
and see them, and none took greater
interest in the affair than the boys.
They had finished their chores unusually
early and were promptly on hand long
before the hour Of serving the supper.
Of the entire community none felt his
personal Importance more than Dave
Peters, the colored waiter.
Dave was of portly build and prided
himself in his appearance, and if he had
a hatred for one thing more than any
other, that thing was a claw hammer
coat, which he said belonged to society
gentlemen and not to a waiter. conse-
quently he held to the old fashioned
roundabout jacket Just before the
time for announcing that dinner was
ready number of the village boys stood
peering through one of the dining room
windows. watching Dave arrange the
different dishes on the table and ad-
miring the display made by the twelve
napkins in as many cut glass goblets.
After viewing the effects of the
table with countenance beaming with
satisfaction, Dave strutted toward the
door and disappeared by descending the
stairs leading to the kitchen, and few
moments later reappeared, carrying on
a large dish the turkey, done to lovely
brown and beautifully garnished with
carved roses, sprays of parsley and Gel
cry tops. Walking toward the table he
found that no room had been left for the
central and chief adornment of the
table. Taking the situation in at a
glance, Dave saw his mistake, and hur-
riedly set the dish down upon the broad
sill of the window through which the
boys were peering, and began rearrang-
ing the table to make room for the
turkey.
No sooner had he turned his back to
l,o nor Of tha hOr-c cnft11- |
and quietly raised the sash, while an
other grabbed the turkey from the dish
and fed across the hotel yard toward
the old stable, followed by his compan-
ions. After making room for the large
dish Dave turned around, stepped to the
window, raised the dish and placed it in
its position in the center of the table,
never noticing that the bird had flown.
Going to the sideboard he picked up the
supper bell and gave it violent ring, |
thus notifying the host that dinner was
ready.
This way, gentlemen; this way, |
please" spoke the proprietor to his
guests; "step this way, gentlemen"
leading them through narrow passage
from the bar to the dining room. No
sooner had he reached the dining room |
than his gaze fell upon the empty plate,
when he exclaimed, David, where in
the name of General jackson is that |
turkey?'
Poor Davel Never was man taken
more by surprise. When for the first |
time he noticed the broken platter his |
broad smile vanished. In an instant his |
jaw fell and his large eyeballs stared |
most frightfully, while his whole frame
shook with a terrible tremor. All he
could say in reply to the abrupt and en- |
phatic question was, Don't know, sir; |
it was dar, it was dar," and hurrying to
the kitchen stairs he shouted down,
You. Pheby, whar in deb'l's dat tur-
key?'
go erlong now, you's got it up dar
long ergo" The disappearance was not |
only mystery to the waiter and cook,
but to the proprietor as well, who in an |
apologize manner asked the guests to
repair again to the barroom while
thorough investigation could be made.
Every one in the house, including the
hostler, was questioned and cross ques-
toned, yet no light could be thrown on
the mystery. After wasting an hour in
trying to find the missing bird, and after
a consultation with the guests. fried ham
and eggs were substituted for the turkey. |
Ii was not till two hours later, when |
the guests were about to depart, that the
proprietor learned what had become of |
the turkey One of the boys, more bold |
than his companions, came back to the
hotel to see how the joke worked, and |
thinking the story of the birds disap-
pearance too good to keep, told it to one
of the men that were lettering about the |
outside of the hotel.
The next morning the picked bones of
the turkey we're found scattered about
on the ground back of the stable, where
the boys had, after carving it with their
pocketknives, greedily devoured the
well cooked bird.-Philadelphia Times.
"OId Physics Crawford.
General S. W. Crawford was called