Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-09-13
in a voice that curdles the milk down at


 the springhouse-
 My wife's grandfather is a Baptist and an Abolitionist, while Peradventure is a Mohammedan and kicks because we have to pay the Hey yolutionary pension CTS, though he hasn't paid cent of tax in l5 years. They have had good many discussions over politics and religion, but never had any real serious fights Mortimer could always prove all his statements by the Bible and so could Peradventure.
 "Sometimes they would go q little too far, and Mortimer would pout all the evening, and Peradventure would fiounce off to bed and slam his boots one at time on the floor when he undressed and tried to scare us. But in the morning both would wake up all pleasant, and Mortimer would tackle little black pipe he has. while Pcradventure would go into the buttery and take large com prehensive swallow out of bottle that has q lonesome old cherry at the bottom of it. At first he took this only in the spring. but now he has gradually added more and more spring months till the robins seem to be nesting most all the time with him.
 Il take them to the circus with me every wear and sometimes twice, and they remember and talk about it for wears afterward. Mortimer is a great almirer of the elephant. and have all can do to drag him away from the large beast with the country seat to his pants.
 'But Peradveuture loves rare animals, such as the jackass bird of Australia and the sacred new milk COW of Farther India. He claims that he has seen most everything now that Noah had and some that he couldn't get, like the Rolled Angus or mooly COW, and other things that Noah advertised for far and wide. lut couldn't obtain in those days.
 One day they got into a sort of quar- rel over the female acrobat that hangs from the top of the tent by a bunion and holds, suspended in air. by her teeth and q wide suspender an uncle and two other relatives on her fathers side. Mortimer claimed to have selected her first. but Peradventure said: You bet | fer take. some one of your own age. Take the child wonder in the sideshow shes about as tottering as you be And So they Quarreled that way. till finally thought I would have to take them out, but pretty soon the lion cage was wheeled into the ring. and the curly beaded lion tanner. with Hair Bloom on t,S trrS~es. performed all sorts of feats with th> king of beasts, winding up by SlgEing the king of the forest with his | dank dome of thought. Then people ap- plaudcd the man, forgetting that the poor lion would have to go and eat a cat l or an Angora goat to take the taste ont If his mouth.
 We have great fun. of course. though in quict way. my wife and comparing notes regarding Mortimer and Peradven- turc. for they do lots of amusing things ! Sometimes it is not so pleasant when 1 they eat too much preserves or drink milk when they have been eating green corn and watrrmelOnS.
 But nothing is more beautiful than in the winter evenings by the big open fire to watch Mortimer and Peradventure playing checkers and whistling 'Floyd's Retreat while they knock couple of | checker men together and crow like a pair of infants.
 "l didn't finish telling you, though, how Peradventure hoppcd on Mortimer and accused him of taking the horehound candy that he had put up on the joist of he wnnlhouse. Well, Mort denied it, ,nouSh he didn't of course know that I | Lad done it myself for Peradventure's | good. and he said my grandfather ought ! to know what he was talking about be- 1 fore he tackled folks.
 At that my grandfather said that he mad been graveled and galled about | bong enough by an old fungus like my | wItc's grandfather. and he might about 'S well settle him and put him out of misery now as any time. So he ted at him with a wild light in his l ,lrs. but Mortimer had in his mind what l I'd told him about being prompt or his life would pay the penalty, so he grabbed the ax that was sticking in the choppinS block and made a rush for | Peradvcuture that scared him almost to death.
 Blank your old prltr says Mortimer.
 If you are i'll this wuudshed in another minute, I'll split you open from the bris- ket to the watch pocket and open you up like a bouShten codtish! Now gitr