Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-05-05
MAJOR AND MINOR

there must be about the hearthstone
when Mrs. Mckinley wants to discuss
the issues In the case and the judge
threatens her with contempt OF court
for irving 10 influence his decision; and
what a beatifc state OF domesticity
must prevail when he holds against her
in a case and practically throws IL out
OF court. Judge Mckinley should re-
sign or induce his wife to quit the BAR
In consideration Of q good TAT salary as
housekeeper.
AL observing little girl, who lives In
the upper part OF the city, does hef own
thinking and speaks right out with
Juvenile frankness, was looking qt some
pictures the other eVening ma came
across one which represented woman
in a full-sized hoop skirt, such as was
worn when the style was at It's night.
She studied il as a rare curiosity for
second. and then exclaimed: Mamma,
Just look at this lady with an umbrella
on"
When a woman learns the charms
and benefits of horseback riding there
is no enjoyment more fascinating.
II she has a horse properly bred and
well-handled, 1t becomes boon COM
rade and the object of her devoted al
fections. Il knows her voice and touch,
aud through the friendship established
will always be recognized the fact that
the lady is the master and her compan-
ion a proud servant that yields grace
fully when their wills clash.
Schoolgirl confidence begins to de-
cline when those who possess 1t cease to
chew the same piece of gum and do not
make two or three round trips getting
each other home after they have been.
ont together. Those are the halcyon
days of perfect unselfishness and cannot
last after the claims Of society and the
attendant customs assert themselves.
Among the exhibits of the French
Government at the Worlds Fair will be
a parasol that was once carried by
Martha Washington. 1t is a touching
tribute 10 1.-The memory of her whose
name is so closely identified with the
birth of American liberty that such a
memento should be so esteemed by one
Of the greatest Of European powers.
The question as TO whether man
can love more than one woman has
been answered. The Khan Of the
Khelat has recently put to death hvs
wives whom he suspected OF intdelity.
There can be no jealousy where there Is
no love, and this wholesale slaughter of
the partners of Joys and sorrows set
ties the whole thing.
She was q handsome blonde leading a
pet dog up Woodward avenue. An ex-
Quisite masher smiled a chimpanzee
smile as she passed, and said: MADAM,
envy your dog" $50 do all the rest
OF the puppies in the city," was her
quick response, and he pulled up his
coat collar as he took the nearest side
street.
First 6ude-'I say Harry, did you
know that Chswley thinks ne looks like
the Pwince of Wales?"
Second dude-"To be sure he does,
the foolish fellah. Why he has been
carrying a horwid stiletto ever since it
was reported that the Prince would be
assassinated if he came to this coun-
twy."
Here is q kiss, described upon femi-
nine authority, as the latest, which the
Ohio Board of Health or any other ag-
gregatlon Of sanitary wisecares can
prohibit in the interest of the general
health. 1t is executed by laying the
left cheeks together and letting the
smack 60 uninterrupted into space.
A man went into an Alabama news
paper Office the other day to kill the
editor. There was a brief interview,
aud then the editor wrote touching
obituary, in which the plea Of self-de-
Tense was ingeniously introduced.
Never fool with an editor or gasoline
stove.
A few woodcock were recently served
at Delmonico's, and before the thing
was over they cost just S32 apiece.
They were taken during the close
season, and the law had to be appeased.
Even millionaires hesitate at woodcock
at the figures named.
Timber grows down there as long as
there is sap in it, declared the visitor
from New Mexico. II have planted a
green stick for hitching post in the
spring, aud by the time it was seasoned
in the fall it was liberty pole"
Bibbs-'Jenk ins is a man who has
great deal of dry humor about him"
Jabos-I should say so. l have
bought him a dozen drinks in an even
ing and he kept getting dryer all the
time"
Now the time approaches when the
head Of the household will attend the
circus Just 70 take the little boy, and
then paddle the youngster to get him
inside after he has taken fright at hear
ing the camel yawn.
One of the Indians who participated
in the recent troubles is named ''No
Water" his tribe must have origi-
nally come from Kentucky.
Some men are honest by way OF self
interest, Just as a matter OF policy, and
generous as part OF strategic plan for
attaining success.
There Is no other music on earth so
sweet as mothers lullaby, for it comes
from the heart attuned to the chords OF
undying love.
A baby which can sleep with its feet
over pillow while standing on its head
is always worth raising.
The fellow with the coolest nerve IS
the one who has already come out in his
straw hat.
BuyIng West Virginia Coal.
UNoNTOwN, PA, May 81. S. Douglass
left this evening for Fairmont, w. Va,
where he will conclude a deal by which a
number Of Uniontown citizens become pur-