New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-01-04

yelleQ thleE ana the women ALI had
Mysteries. There was two old maids
up there that tried the paper racket.
But it didn't work. They got scared
too often. A couple of fellows got in,
and the old women screamed, but the
fellows went right along and went
through every blessed thing in the
house with the old women screaming
murder and thief at the top of their
voices. The boys didn't care. They
knew nobody would come. The old
women had been trying papers tor g.
week, and every night they had walked
up the neighborhood yelling if a breeze
stirred a paper. The men got tired o.
goin' over an never finding anybody
there, an SO they stopped an let the
old women yell all they wanted to.
The papers didn't work this time.
But in ordinary cases if a woman who
was alone in a house got whiffet dog
an baby an spread papers around,
no thief, unless he was a murderer
too; would go near that house.
A MAN UNDER THE BED.
'The best way for woman to do
If she woke and found g. man in her
room would be to keep very still and
pretend she was still sleeping, or, if he
knew that she had seen him, to
obey his orders and keep still. If he
thought she had submitted, he
wouldn't watch her so hard, and it
would give her time to think what to
do. There's one thing, though, that
would be bad for a woman. If a
burglar left her room by the door she
ought to listen to his footstep or
watch the light O. his lantern, an she
don't want to get out o. bed or move
until he is we'll out ofhearing. A man
who goes out that way will always
stop when he has gone few feet from
the door where woman is, and if he
hears her jump out of bed at once, he
suspects what she's up to and would
| then escape by the nearest window
and be out of her reach, or else he
| would go back an make it dangerous
| for her. She wants ter be cunnin'.
Then she can catch him.
1t was a smart girl and cool girl
that got away with fellow 1 know.
He had got into the second-story
window and had just about landed
when he heard two women comm.
He crawled under the bed and got out
O. sight. The women came in and un-
dressed and got into bed. When he
thought they had been in bed long
enough to get asleep he began to work
out. A dim light had been left in the
room. He had just got his head to
the edge of the bed and and his arm
and hand were sticking out beyond
the bed when he found one of the
women was getting out o. bed. She
stepped square on his arm, and, look
ing down, saw him, so it seemed, draw
it back. She went across the room
ard turned up thegas and beganlook
ing around the dressing table. In a
minute she called to the other woman,
Mary, wake up The woman got
awake an the other says: What did
l do with that letter that came this
afternoon?' The one in bed didn't
seem to recall the letter, but finally
she seemed to and the girl on the floor
said: 1T worries me; can't sleep; I
must 60 downstairs and see if left it
in the parlor.'
| =, TAINTED WHEN 1T WAS ALL OVER.
''The other one said, ALI right an
the first girl calmly took O. lot of
matches, just as If she meant to light
the gas, and went out of the room,
but she didn't 60 any further than the
room where a man was sleeping. She
told him she had found g. man under
her bed. He thought at first that it.
was the same old man women are al
ways finding. She convinced him fin
ally and he went out and got help.
| She came back into the room alone,
and in few minutes the men burst
in and snaked. the fellow from under
the bed. He was a completely fooled
man, an said that the woman was so
cool an natural about it that he
never should have suspected her in
the world. But the best part OF it;
was that after the first woman left
the room the other was just as quiet
and happy there as baby. She
didn't suspect anything, an when she
found that there had been man I'M
der the bed all the time she just up
and tainted away. That's how a
woman can fool a burglar if she keeps
her wits about her.
"One foolish thing that women do.
is in getting their husbands to get up
at any noise and 60 chasing around
the house to locate it. Half the men
who hear a noise in the house would:
think it had some good explanation,
an turn over an 60 to sleep again;
| But their wives won't let 'em. They
make 'em get out of bed and go roam
ing around hunting for possible thieves.
| That's where the mischief comes in.
The man don't stand as good a show
as the woman does. If the woman
would only turn over an go so sleep
| herself she'd save a good many lives
that are lost through burglars.
"All thieves know that women ara
their greatest dangers, an nine-tenths
| OF the burglars who are captured are
caught through women; but it de-
ponds, as I said, on the woman's
keeping cool an usin' her wit. After
all, guess you've got what We want
3D."
Why Thunder Sours Milk.
You have often asked or been ask!