Morning journal and courier., 1893-01-19
COMMUNICATIONS.
The old Sanitarian Relates Some
 Events Which Have Recently Oc- cured in This City and Shows the Propriety of Voting Him a

The old Sanitarian Relates Some
 Events Which Have Recently Oc- cured in This City and Shows
 the Propriety of Voting Him a
 Salary.
 To the Editor of the JOURNAL AND COURIER
 Last Sunday morning, our highly es- teemed and efficient mayor read the fol- lowing item in the New York Sun among the cable news from London:
 Typhoid fever has assumed almost an epidemic form in London. Its chief vic tins SO far have been found among the upper classes, who, in this metropolis at any rate, live amid bygienic conditions l which may be said to be almost ideal But, for all that, the Earl of Londes- borough, Lotd Hslbridge, and several other peers have been prostrated by the dreaded disease, and there is ress on to be l ieve that typhoid rsges in large number of West End houses unknown to the gen. erAl public. Various causes have been as- signed for this state of tbings."
 "Aha," ssid our astute mayor, after he had read this item; "'various causes have been assigned ohoi Ono! that shows they are all ignorant of the real causes. If the truth were known, there would be no dispute and no division of opinion. Here is a terrible state of affairs. The greatest city in the world, containing thousands of the most learned physicians, is unable to find out the cause of typhoid fever"
 The more our worthy mayor thought this matter over the more his humanits. i rian sentiments became aroused. He was troubled over the unhappy condition of benighted and ignorant London. Finally, light appeared in his mind. The happy thought occurred to him that ss I was the oldest and most learned sanitarisn in town he had best confer with me.
 Whereupon he ordered a carriage dis patched at once to my house. With it he sent this note: "A orisis has occurred in the worlds history. Come to my house at once and bring all your pescefulness and all your sanitary science with you. Do not delay moment. The microbes have broken loose"
 Of course. my overhowing philanthropy was stirred by this appeal, and l rode to the mayors house. We talked aboat ths cause of typhus fever, but have not time at present to state what learned and intri- cate expeditions were laid before the mayor. Suffice it to gay that when left him he was very much exhausted; his pulse was up to 163 and he was in a pro- fuse precipitation. But we had decided what to do to succor unfortunate London. On Monday morning Mayor Sargent sent the following message by cable to London: ] "The woods of New Haven are full of sani- tsrians who know all about the cause of typhoid fever"
 On Tuesday morning our benevolent mayor received this cable dispatch from | the mayor of London: sfSend us one of your most learned ssnitarisns. Salary, ten thousand pounds year"
 On receipt of this message, person with the slightest acquaintance with myself would naturally suppose that our indus trious mayor would select me to represent | American sanitary science in London. But somehow or other his honor forgot all about my great attainments, and conse- quently he sent copy of the message to each prominent eanitarian in town except myself, and with the message @ note asking that the person notified come to the mayors office in the city hall at 10 o'clock on Wednesday morning.
 Wednesday morning promptly at 10 | o'clock thirty nine devoted and eminent sanitarians appeared In the mayors office. The genial mayor turned to his private seo- retary and said: "How Is this; sent out forty notices and only thirty-nine scient- fists are hereI" "Oh," said the secretary, "this note will explain It." As he said this he handed the mayor a note which read: "Am confined to my house with rheumatism, but will soon be out again. Am ready to sacrifice my life for sanitary science JOHN SMITH, N. D., 8. & P. s."
 When the mayor read this note his intel l lectual brow became clouded. He looked puzzled. Finally he asked the noble com pany of scientists in front of him: "What in creation does s. & P. s. meant" "Oh," was the reply, ''that means Scientific and Profound Ssnitarisn."
 "Well," said the mayor, "do you all have that on your osrdsf" The reply was: Certainly, when our cards are in full dress. We do not hide our light under c bushel
 The mayor then remarked to the audi. ence: 'T have a request for only one sani. tarian and you have all thirty nine stated your readiness to go. How shall I select the onei think you had best talk thii matter over among yourselves and then present me the name you deem the besi representative of New Haven Sanitary Sol ence."
 The scientists unanimously assented tc the wisdom of the mayors remarks, but [ curious division of opinion appeared ai soon as a vote was taken on the name to b, handed to the mayor. Each ballot contain ] ed different name. Esoh and every mAi had voted for himself.
 Another ballot was ordered, and the bal