The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-08-10
PAPA WAS TOO SUDDEN.
He Sent Out the Birth Cards Before Ascer-
tanning the Sex of His First Born.

tanning the Sex of His First Born.
Out on DreXel boulevard in an impo-
singly luxurious home there recently
materialized royalty welcomed 4" gift
of the storks'' with no attributes visi-
bic to the naked eye worthy the full
some glorifcation accorded other than
wee puclIered red pippin of face
and prodigiously healthy pair of
lungs, which she scrupled not of exer-
cising.
Her fragile mother could imagine no
more exquisite pleasure than to fondle
with timid caresses the stolid mite
which lay swathed beside her, but
adoring, incredulous papa's behavior
was reprehensible, to say the least. He
peregrinated about the palatial man
sion with his long-skirted hostage to
fortune-indicnant or quiescent as best
suited it's humor-and proved impervi-
Gus alike to the gutturally voluble re-
monstrance of a portentously solemn
party of the Sairey Camp style of arch
itecture and the half-audible raillery of
tittering servitors.
Mother-in !aw''-that antique motif
of ostensible dispensers of labeled attic
salt-in this case was a misft, the sill
very-haired patrician doing graceful
duty as such being more like an elder
sister to the blissfully happy young
couple, and honored manifestly, but
dreaded not IA particle.
When Aunt Simpson" after per-
forming the appalling dread rite of
"a mi hs IN tttrn ~ "a
Madonna-faced patient tentively COM
plained-probably for the hundredth
time-she was consoled by the laugh
ing assurance that when "Mr. Bron-
sons mother" arrived that same even
ing affairs would assume different
compleXion-and with grunt of SUI
preme satisfaction she bided her time
of reckoning.
"Mother dear The baby's come,
and he's hummer. There! Did you
ever hear such hubbub? He'll give
the fellows on change a lively tune
some day, II be bound" as the proud
father gleefully conducted his deter
mined-faced maternal ancestor to the
''holy of holies.''
"Aunt Simpson" after a cursory
survey, waxed suddenly and unaccount-
ably servile, as the penetrating gray
eyes met hers, and a pleasant, low
voiced-exacting and dominant, how
ever-greeted her, for the despot's sway
was ended
Frederick, you are not to handle
baby so recklessly. See you render
Ada nervously excited when you carry
it from her''-and Frederick Bronson,
a tower of obstinate energy, paused
with his uplifted first born and amazed
ly confronted the arbiter.
"Why! nonsense, mother. He likes
me to trot with him, or did," he hastily
interpolated, as the filmy-rohed in
FAINT challenged that broad assertion
by series of angry, protesting howls.
my baby" he resumed firmly, but
ruefully, surveying the small element
of discord, lis to undergo system of
training distinctively of my own in
vention that will render him an honor
to us ALL and it's none too early to
I begin to initiate him now He's
spunky, by Godfrey, to start with"
for the wriggling midget in a convul-
a left-handed singer to the mentor.
Frederick Bronson, Jr. Sounds
grand. Eth, mother? Eyes like Ada
and the rogue knows me already. No
sight, Ell? Fudge! He knows all that's
going on. I'll give him walk down
the hall for constitutional and then
resign him to hims muzzer wuzzer.' as
l heard Ada call herself this after
noon"
The autocrat's mother smiled blandly
and gracefully accepted the capitula-
ton.
"Arrant foolishness Angry. for
sooth. And why, pray Isn't cherub
of a girl-baby as much to be desired as
boy? My son is surely not to follow
the example of the horrid Chinese if l
know it. Here he is with his promis-
ing asprant for board of trade honors
Now, to enlighten him.
Its all right, of course darling, but
why didn't you let them tell me Not
pleased unless it was a boy ? Well,
now, you are delirious, dearest''-as he
tenderly embraced the fair young
mother and gurglingly content angelic
visitant.
"Blest if it isn't the worst scrape
yet I've stood slumps in wheat and
twist tobacco squeezes in oornered
stocks, but how to liquidate when those
confounded boys find out that the sew
en- hundred odd birth cards I've written
are fakes is what settles me. Whew !!
But the annotations on some of them
make me SILVER. and | thought them
sublime when wrote them. Won't
be guyed, though ? Oh never Can't
play off printers error, either, be-
cause old pig head ,could write every
one"
And with cry of Ibsenic despair he
hearkened to the urgent summons of
wailing Miss Fredericka, who having
whiled away the time allotted for re-
freshment wished for a saunter.-Chi-
cago Times
Narrow Escape.