The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-01
EATING DINNER MECHANICALLY
The Waiter Docs Everything But swallow
tho Food nd Drink.

EATING DINNER MECHANICALLY
The Waiter Does Everything But swallow
tho Food and Drink.
On a recent evening a big man with a
heavy walk entered a well known ca fe
on upper Broadway and sank wearily
into a chair at a table. He was about
fifty years old and had the appearance
of a high liver His face had the pecu-
liar purplish-red color which is some
times ascribed to burgundy and some
times to champagne, but is always due
to indulgence of the appetite for good
things His movements indicated that
he felt sluggish, and it would have cre-
ated no surprise in the observer to have
been told that he was liable to apo
plexy. He seemed preoceupied, and
glanced listlessly about the room.
Presently a waiter came up to him. He
was about the same age as the man at
the ta BILE, but was quick and active.
Good morning, Mr.. JONES'" he said
briskly. ''We have some nice turtle
soup and some excellent roast grouse. -
''All right, James, said the other,
absent-mindcdly.
"Some potatoes chateau and a lettuce
salad?''
"YcS.''
The waiter went away and returned
presently with some illustrated papers,
which the man took from him without
SO much as looking up. The soup was
brought on and ladled out by the wait
er, who then took the napkin and
spread it carefully over the mans lap.
He brought on a glass of sherry, al
though the man had said nothing about
it, and set it down beside his plate.
The man did not notice it, but began to
eat his soup greedily.
'You are forgetting your sherry, sir, :"
said the waiter, respectfully.
Mechanically the diner reached out
= ~ L.
waiter watched him carefully as
mother does her child, filed the glass
of water when it was empty, replaced
the napkin when it slipped down, and
in other ways saw to it that the diner
was comfortable. The soup was fol-
lowed by the roast, potatoes, and some
celery. The latter had not been or
dered, either. The grouse was carved
by the waiter, who also served the po-
tatoes and picked -o,issiv" the "tender pieces
of celery.
DO you want your champagne, sir?"
he asked.
"What champagne?' demanded the
diner, querulously.
you have half bottle left from last
night, sir"
Bring it on, then.''
The waiter returned with a half
empty bottle. A rubber cork tightly
pressed into the mouth had preserved
the sparkle. Through the remainder
of the meal the waiter never relaxed
his watchfulness. although he had to
wait on two other tables When the
diner had finished his coffee he started
to rise. The waiter, who happened to
be at another table, rushed to his side
wait a uoment, Mr.. JONES' he said;
you must take your pepsin.''
''Then why the deuce don't you bring
it?''
irI< c;r
In a moment he had rushed out of
the room and returned speedily with a
bottle and spoon. He mixed up a dose
in a glass and handed it to the man,
who drank it with wry face. Then
the waiter brought finger bowl and a
cigar, of which he cut off the end. He
waited until the man had slowly put it
between his lips and then he struck a
match and applied the light. The man
puffed SO slowly that the match had
burned down to the walters fingers
and scorched them before the cigar was
thoroughly lighted. The waiter now
helped the man on with his overcoat
adjusted his silk muff1er, buttoned up
the coat and handed him his cane
Good night, Mr.. JONES' said the
waiter, as the man toddled away. An
indistinct mumbling was the only re-
ply.
The head waiter explained. ssThat
here for fifteen years and always has
the same waiter. He's a grouty man.
but not bad hearted. He's a chronic
dyspeptic, but you see he won't deny
much. You noticed he didn't
tip the waiter? That's because he paws
him once a week aud generously. He
pays his meal checks the same way
The waiter knows his habits absolute
ly, and, as you saw, does not require
any orders He knows that he wants
certain things always, and understands
his tastes we'll enough to be able to
suggest a satisfactory menu every time.
l have an idea the old fellow will re-
member his waiter in his will He
gives him lots of present is, as we'll he
might, for the waiter does about every
thing except eat and drink for him.
N. Y. Sun.
THE MiLLiONAlRES' MALADY,
A NJ tai Disease Which is the Outsrowth
of the Possession OF Great Wealth.
There is reason to think that great
wealth begets mental disease akin to |
those forms of paralysis which affect a |
m mute portion of the brain. II is not |
to be denied that the very rich, as a |
class, show as much sense as otker peo-
Dle. Those who har 10 ho;