Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-08-28

/ Col wing nA1AeO 49, Wv eS0
he was trying to unjoint one of the
turkeys wings. The end of the knife
flew in one direction while the dis
membered wing few in another and
landed against framed picture of
! Columbus discovering America with
such force as to smash the glass and
smear the old navigator all over with
turkey grease.
No further mishaps occurred till
late in the afternoon, when Bertha
undertook to amuse the company by
playing upon the piano. She request
ed Tom Fletcher, her beau, who had
called early in the afternoon, to raise
the piano lid. He was SO eager to
oblige her that he never took time to
notice that large vase Of wax fruit,
which Aunt 'sBelle'' Lukens had
brought as a present for her sister was
on the piano Tom threw the lid up with
a vim, and crash went the frail glass
covering, while the fruit, that looked
as natural as if had grown, was smash
ed into atoms of different cOlOred
| beeswax.
After sweeping up the broken glass
and wax Bertha began to play some
of her classic music, and while at
tempting to turn the sheet as she was
rafting off one of the most difficult
bars Of "Bobby. Will your dog bite?"
TOMS foot slipped as he trod on
piece Of wax banana peel and he went
sprawling upon the keys of the instru-
ment, one of his elbows knocking
whole octave out of killer, while the
other landed upon Bertha's shoulder,
sending her to the floor. Toms nose
causing the blood to flow most copi
ously, staining the piano. Aunt Belle
screamed "Murder!" so loud that a
lamp lighter passing along the street
heard it and yelled out the word at
the top of his voice. Two policemen,
who had been helping hired girl in
neighboring house to dispose of
some leftover dinner rushed to the
scene, but upon learning the cause Of
the trouble hurried back to their
beats.
This day, like all other days, has an
end, and after supper the company
assembled in the little parlor, where
the events of the day were recounted.
Tom, poor fellow, had gone home with
sore nose, a troubled mind and his
blood. Murtha had gone to the club,
leaving Bertha, Mrs. Murtha, her sis
ter and half dozen other relatives to
spend the evening as best they could.
One after the other of the happenings
were gone over, when Mrs. Murtha
happened to think of the opal ring.
and gave full vent to her belief, to
the edifcation Of the others.
Among those present was Miss Sal
lie Archer of Parkersburgh. She had
come to spend some time in this city.
She was old enough to remember the
time when William Henry Harrison
was elected to the Presidency. When
she heard of the ring she said: "Mer-
cy, save US! No wonder you've had
such time. Why do you know, at
tribute all the bad luck Of my life to a
beautiful opal breastpin that William
Wolfnger, near and dear friend of
mine, had given me on my twentieth
birthday. / was then teaching dis
trict school, and the very first day I
wore the breastpin to school, one of
the larger boys, John Butler, who was
regular scapegrace, coaxed an old
into fho
first thing I knew, the man had taken
charge of the scholars. He even com
PEELED me to take a seat among the
girls and made me answer every ques
ton in the days lessons. He took
down the large maps and number of
charts from the walls and smeared
them all over with red and black ink.
Then he took it into his head that |
would look better if had black
face. He got several of the boys to
hold me while he took a sponge and
rubbed the horrid ink all over my
nose and ears, which he afterwards
painted with the carmine ink.
"How I got home that day never
knew, but after I rushed from the
room, the children followed me, the
crazed man kicked over the stove and
set fire to the building, which was
completely destroyed. I was so
that took sick and was
kept in doors all winter. Wolinger
visited me regularly, and one night, as
he was going home, he fell into hole
while crossing a field and broke his
left leg and his right arm, dislocated
his right hip and spained his left