St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-06-19
LOAD ON HIS MIND.
He Was Terribly Bothered Abou
the shape of His Head.

He Was Terribly Bothered About
the Shape of His Head.
New York Tribune
Williams bought a spring hat the
Their day. He is naturally one of the
brightest and most cheerful men in New
York city, but from the day he put on
that hat he wore melancholy look
which would have given hope to
a man who has had a case for prop
erty damage against the elevated road
for thirteen years. He Stunned all his
friends, he never smiled, he refused to
60 to the theater, he would not talk
about Democratic appointments, the
worlds fair had no charm for him-he
was gloomy, sonr-faced, hopeless,
desperate-looking man.
A week after he bought his spring
hat he met Jones. Jones is always tell
Ing about things which have happened
to him. Begin to tell him about ride
you took and he will give you an ac
count of his journey across the plains
on horseback. sLet him know about your
having bought house, and he will eX-
plain about his famous real estate
speculation in the dim past. Well, this
trick Of Jones undoubtedly saved Will
iams' life.
"See you've got spring hat. too
said Jones. "How do you like the new
style" ;,
answered Williams in a gloomy voice.
Say" said Jones, speaking OF buy
ing new hats, did you ever notice how
your size and shape show up your
head?"
"What has that to do with the new
style?" faid Williams sharply.
''Oh, nothing, only
sit looks as if spring were about
to come in earnest, doesn't it"' asked
Williams.
Yes, but about the shape of ones
head"
ats been about as mean spring as
l have known" Williams went on.
Now" said Jones. when they put
hat machine on your head"
''Pll be glad when summer gets here
Williams insisted.
"When they put those machines on"
"But Williams was determined to dis
cuSS the weather.
lit can't get too warm for me-" he
sid, theoretically.
See here, Williams" said Jones,
SottiuS leu III Vic ldCc, Why III tio
world do you insist on talking about the
weather? l want to tell you about those
Misunderstanding machines"
''Say, JONES'" said Williams. desper-
ately. "let's go to the theater tonight;
let's go and get luncheon; let's take
walk-let's do anything
Great Scott, man'' cried Jones.
"what are you so excited about? l just
want to tell you about"
''See here, JONES'" said Williams
sternly, Il don't want to hear another
word about your internal machine. Pm
not going to listen TO you. | won't do
it," he said. shutting his teeth, -91
''And Pm going to tell it to YOU" said
Jones, getting mad enough to fight, "if
die for it. What | want to say is this.
When looked at the shape of my head
the other day it was something awful,
something awful. l say. Yes, SIR" he
continued, looking earnestly at Will
his hat while he held one hand in a
frightened way to his head. Yes, sir.
my head looked like an idiots. That's
what it looked like.
caesars ghost!' said to the man,
you don't mean to say that my head is
shaped like that?'
"'Why, no. he said, this machine
doesn't really show the shape of your
head; 1t only brings out certain points
to help us fit you."
Williams looked dazed with surprise.
but, say, you ought to have seen the
kind of head that thing gave me. :.
Now"
Look here, JONES'" cried Williams
joyfully. getting his speech again,
"come and have drink. Come and
have bottle. come and have anything.
Old mau, pou've taken terrible load
off my mind. | looked at the shape of
my head when 1 bought this hat. 1t
was the first time had ever looked at
that outline. Wen, it nearly
stopped my heart from beating.
You never saw anything like
it, Talk about your head. Mine
looked like founder with a broken
back and two twists in it. There were
bumps and curls and holes and patches
in it. l knew that if had head like
that | was in danger of becoming an
idiot any minute. There was no use to
try and get around it. | about made up
my mind that ! was an idiot already.
And now-come ane have a drink, old
man. That's load off my mind"