The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1893-06-01
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
lMOS HERE AND THERE.
Sehoo ona Joke.ets shas Are Supposed -
Have Bean Recently Bors- Oayings ooa
Doings that Are OdA Cus1ous aad
Laughabi0.
Sprinkles Of SpIre.

Spr1nkleS OF SPICE
The coffee corner has been broken
and that settles the price.-Lowell
Courier
TnE combatants in the piano war
should hold the fortes. -Philadel-
phia Record.
For the organ-grinder it's short
street that has no turning.-Phila-
delphia Times.
JACK HARDUr--Is there any cure
for love? Lovina Cottage--Oh, yes;
the gold cure. Puck.
THE oyster is a humble creature.
1t is content to begin life at the bot
tom.-IonKcrs Statesman.
ERERY hoy would rather run the
lawn mower next door than the one
at home. e.--Atchison Glote.
THE shre"I spectacle dealer al
ways cndcavors to keep his customers
in sight.-Buffalo Courier.
SO MANY newly married people
whom the papers say are to be envied
don't look so.-Atchison Globe.
GOOSE eggs have been picked up
out in Shacklcford County almost as
large as hail-stones---Dlllas News.
The men who gather up the collec-
tions are expected to take at least
passing interest in religious matters.
"AFTER ALL" murmurcd the artist,
perhaps the ideal figure has a dollar
| mark in front Of it. t."-WashiDgtOn
| Star.
You've King Alexander signalizel
his entrance into politics by captur-
ing the Observation-Disclosures
| News.
IT is odd how a railroad contractors
creditors feel safest when they know
he is making tracks. - Buffalo
| Courier.
"DoEs he write to you regularly
since you became cngaged?' NO:
sometimes l only get one letter .
day. y."-Life.
IT is not SO strange that the sea
breaks on the shore--the sailors gen.
orally do the same thing.
Plain-Dealer.
ALL that has been said SO far
against the crinoline is nothing. Just
wait and see the wind blow it up
Buffalo Courier.
Miss SNIprIr-Men are such fools!
Miss Dlrley-Ah, who has proposed
| TO you now, r?-Browning, King
* Co.'S Monthly.
1T seems" said the barber, that
my whole life is to be spent getting
out of one scrape into another. -
Washington Star.
THERE seems to bc more in heaven
and earth and in our drinking water
than is dreamt of in our philosophy
Chester Pa.) News.
THERE arc accidents that are Pc
culiar to the seasons. The bal.Oonist
gets the worst of it in the fall
Binehamt, n Leadc'.
PROBABLY not all postmasters
be removed this summer, but t
who rem Ain may count upon an
fall. Lowell Courier.
THE SmRT-I'm completed
up every few days. The l.
Poor fellow. But am COL.
roasted. Pittsburg Bulletin.
This is what / call solid comfort,
was the remark Of the young hns''a
wha,,=- H.. --------'~ ..e's FIRST
1t fIe.sA..-i,oston Gazette.
IT is natural enough after all that
an athlete should mount the ladder
of fame more rapidly than does the
average ma1.-Detroit Free Press
j, Ir shows better discipline to have
} parents take after their children than
. it does to see the children taking
after their parents. Rochester Demo-
crat.
SINCE the introduction of type
setting machines, with seats for the
operators, the printers trade has lost
| great deal of its standing. Troy
Press.
Il 4 GERMAN student wrestling with
. the English language rendered text
as fellows: "Thc ghost is willing, but
, the meat is feeble. e."-Educaticnal
News.
/ A YOUNG man with pushing quail
ties can always get something to do,
even if it is nothing better than en-
} gineering lawn-mower.-Buffalo
Courier.
T1MID VlsrToR-Isn't that water
unhealthy? Chicago Landlord
What? That water, sir, is filed with
life and strength. Plain
> Dealer.
. EVERY time there is stormy
weather Plunkey goes on spree.
But he couldn't do it If he didn't lay
up something for a rainy day.--Bos-
ton Transcript.
MrLkMAN (apologetically) - The
milk is little blue this morning.
, Mrs Housekeeper-It must be think
> ing how everlastingly poor it is get
1 ting.-Troy Press.
DoBBS-I never saw such man to
! exaggcrate as that man Brown is.
. He overdraws everything. Bobbs-
a Yes. sir, even his bank account. -
. Detroit Free Press.
i MY husband is very much inter.
ested in agriculture, said Mrs.. Heavy
: wit. "Only last night he was talking
= : in his sleep about a 50-cent rake. -
Binghamton Leader.
4 "WHY do you ask me for my auto
8 graph?" asked the poet, who liked to
hear words of praise. Because you
!, are tn, only one who can write it,"
I said the applicant, meekly.-Vogue.
o Miss WALFLoUR is much more
a sentimental than l thought. She
!. keeps every letter that old lover OF
I hers writes her." THAT isn't senti-
ment, my dear; it is good, hard,
breach-of-promise sense. Vogue.