The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-08-03
HER FUNERAL DELAYED.
Mss PdSSaRO Didn't Die, But Got
Married Instead.

3 n eoNA v sAaAA N~aAe " a--
/ Wasn't Such Treasure as Her Mis-
tress Thought Her 20 Be.
From the Philadelphia Times
cold age is honorable. but middle age
/ is disgraceful"
Such was Miss Passano's theory in re-
gard to that barest, bIeakest period Of
/ existence when the devastation wrought
by the blighting frosts of autumn is as
yet unconcealed by the beautiful snow
mantle Of winter And yet. with a frank
ness rarely met with in one of her sex.
she acknowledged TO having arrived at
that undesirable epoch.
You can see lot of trash nowadays. -
she would say when surrounded by
ladies OF the flower mission, she tied
roses and understanding bouquets for
the hospital patients, about there being
no Such things as old maids: but | am an
old maid and | want everybody to under
stand that | am one from necessity and
not from choice
At this unexpected announcement each
bouquet fell into the lap Of its alTanger
ana the mouths of the members of the
mission flew open with the concerted mo-
ton OF young ladies doing calisthenic eX-
ercises.
y
Mrs. Antrim, who always managed to get
scat next to that lady at the meetings
| OF the mission, you know you've had Of
| fers. | can't believe the men so wanting
in Appreciation
Yes replied Miss Passano with an
upward sniff, "a job lot of them Two
for-hvers, YOU know But ] preferred
being Miss Somebody to Mrs Nobody. 1t
used 10 amuse me when l was a girl 10
see the married airs my friends would as
sumo as soon as the knot was tied. How
they'd quote Harry and Fred as if they
were OrdcIeS, and attempt actually to pat
ronize me; and they married, my dear,
here Miss Passano emphasized her words
with an expressive gesture of the right
hand, ito some stick that ! would have
discarded the minute he asked me "
You know the Spanish definition of an
old maid, Miss Passano, "A woman who is
hard to please, " one of the ladies said,
as soon as the chorus Of laughter which
greeted her speech had somewhat sub
sided
No, replied that lady, Il never heard
it. I'm glad you told me-
by the way, Miss PassanO." said Mrs
Antrim, i repeated the conversation
which occurred when | was last at your
house to my husband, and he says he'll
be on hand if you'd like to have him.
80! what is Miss Passano going to do?"
broke in "a number of voices at once
Nothing, my friends" replied Miss
PassanO, that | can promise with any
degree OF certainty, except die when my
time comes. +"
"You see," explained Mrs. Antrim.
Miss Passano is getting uneasy about
the arrangement of her funeral, although
/ never saw her looking better, and says
she actually doesn't know men enough to
Otficiate on that solemn occasion. and my
husband has offered his services"
Very much obliged to him, indeed, "
said Miss DassanO, with great decision,
land don't know nicer fellow than
your husband, but he's too frivolous and,
besides he's too young. IL wouldn't be
appropriate No, have my eye on man
that will do for one"
Hear, heart exclaimed the ladies
with one voice, Miss Passano with her
eye on a man. Who would have thought
it,"
And the worst of it," said Miss Pas
sanO, "is that | don't know him, only
know that he is a 'widow-lnan.' and that
l have on the authority of my maid"
Miss Passano flirting with a widower!"
chimed in several voices. Where did
you see him. Tell us all about it."
why, he boards across the street from
me, replied Miss Passano, uttering each
clause with the air of one giving out a
list of items, he teaches a class in my
Sunday school, and he has seat right
next to me in church. There's the basis
for a romance, now
And you peep through the shutters at
him. said one of the girls, initiating her
tone, land put on pretty airs when you
are teaching the children, and glance side
ways at him during the church service,
and look mOdestly down when your eyes
meet. Now we know why Miss Passano
attends the services at the mission in
stead Of going where she could hear
swell music and decent sermon There's
man in the question. Ofticiate at your
funeral, indeed why he'll be what Biddy
calls the best man al your wedding. Now,
mark my words"
After this conversation drifted into the
servant question, u subject not long alb
sent from female assemblage. Ladies"
said Miss Passano, congratulate me- |
am in possession of treasure, an educa-
ted cOlored lady, who doesn't require any
overlooking and is quite above the pick
ings' to which her race is addicted and
which neceSSitate keeping everything I'M
der bar and bolt. Why, she has watch
a great deal handSomer than mine; is a
member of q literary class and the other
day had an organ sent to the house and
has asked to be permitted to take lessons
on it,
Il don't think should fancy such fine
lady" said one of the ladies.
Indeed you would, - said Miss Passano,
If you once saw the cleaning she does,
and a specimen of her cooking and wash
ing; but l couldn't help laughing the 9TH
er day. | came in from down town and
she met me at the door with glasses on.
why, Julia, / said, Il didn't know you
wore spectacles. Are you short-sight-
ed ?"
Not at all, Miss PasSanO," she said air
lily. II only wear these for style"
Miss Passano congratulated herself
anew on the possession of Julia, when
few days after this she was summoned to
New York on business, and left her in en-
tire charge of her small establishment.
The only key she had turned after her in
stalment was one TO tiny work table in
her room and this key, when anything
called her from home, she concealed be-
tween the seat and back of an upholstered
chair in the parlOr Owing to th3 shaky
condition of a certain bank, Miss Passano
had removed the sum of $500 which she
had deposited there, and, sewing itup in
three chamoiS bags, a hundred dollars in
each bag, had placed iJ for safe keeping
IN the drawer of this work table.
At the last minute before setting out
for New York She had bethOught her of
this amount, and had sewed the three
bags to a piece of tape and tied il about
her neck under the waist of her dress
SHE had also frequently assured herself
as to their safety during the progress of
tho ipprr1aa- DpI ~, bpr 7.t.; col ;,, 49,,