Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-11-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

No doubt the iailbird often wishes
he could fly. Truth.
1t is the man who is always getting
left that talks about his rights.
Most of the things that everybody
knows are not true at all Puck.
Tailors and lawyers build up their
business by care in taking measures
for winning suits.
A short history of China; A seven
dollar tea-cup and a three-dollar ser
vant-girl. Washington Star.
A dollar in savings bank will ulti-
mately turn out to be worth two in an
old stocking Boston Herald.
The tenant who spends all his money
on tear naturally has cause to worry
over the rent. Buffalo Courier.
There was a man in our town,
And he was wondrous wise,
He kept his tongue, he stopped his ears,
And also shut his eyes.
1t is the man with about Sc. II to his
credit in bank that usually tries hard
est to stir up panic. - Washington
Star.
The highest form of sincere fiattery
ut the present time is to ask man if
he can change a $40 bill. N Memphis
Appeal.
The walking delegate doesn't need
to be remarkably handsome to present
striking appearance e. buffalo
Courier.
A good many concerns that have
gone under lately have been sunk by
their floating debts. Philadelphia
Ledger.
Friend-"Well, Tommy, now that
you We started to school, what do you
like best?" Tommy Recess. In
ter-Ocean.
"Well, Anna, have you found the
rose for my hair yet?" Eyes, Madam;
but now / cannot find the hair. -
Fliegende Blaetter.
Cuericus-" "Who was it that wrote
the song They're after me-? With
Gus. -" "Adam, in all probability, as. he
was the first man. The Club.
He went to get photograph;
He posed in killing style,
The sad result was little else
Than hands and feet and smile.
Washington Star.
The true luxury of an alarm clock
lies in its reminder that with little
extra haste you can spare fifteen min
utes for another nap. Washington
Star.
In the search for the Western train
robbers, one detective arrested another
detective rs one of the guilty men.
Detecting is great business some
times. Baltimore American.
They didn't come with awful bills
To present with savage stare.
For they we're afraid he'd begin to tell
OF the things he'd seen Mt the Fair.
Chicago lnter-Ocean.
Life is Il song" said some poet,
and he told the truth But it is Il sad
reflection that man may make his
existence as obnoxious to society ms
some popular tunes get to be. ~ Wash
ington Star.
II wouldn't he So particular to take
the sand out OF your shoes all the time,
Mr.. Noodle" " she said, aud then, after
pause, "Your system might absorb
little | think you need some. ~
Philadelphia Record,
"A penny for your thoughts, my love
In tender tones he said.
Then she told that visions OF oyster stews
We're floating through her head.
Chicago lnter-or reau.
All the wedding party were assem-
hled at the registrars The bridegroom
alone was missing, At last he put m u
belated appearance He was hale
old gentleman Of seventy, Another
time. said the registrar, "come bit
earlier, SoEntagsbatt.
"Well, Aunt Rachel snid the Young
lady iu tho travelling sult II shall
have to hid YOU Il hong farewell . "it
you're going IA this tram, m3 Sam,
said the guard lslsnallus o. the driver
to 60 ahead You'll have to make ~
pretty short Tit Bit