The Worthington advance., 1893-08-10
PuNoEnT PARAGRAPHS.

PuNoEhT pARAoRAPHs.
Mrs. Goodhash- You are never
troubled with tramps. What do You do
that keeps them away?'' Mrs. New
cook-'l always give Them 2 meal. -
Inter Ocean.
Hated to Take Chances. Come,
Tommy. expect your uncle to-day,
and you must have your face washed z
"Yes, ma, but s'posen he don't come2''s
F--Arkansas Traveller IS
did Bilkem leave anything when
he died?'' Yes; his creditors. They're
the worst left lot you ever saw. But
falo Courier s
-Revivalist-"Did they experience
religion? Deacon-t.Not as we'll as L
expected; the rake-off only shows
$11. 34."-N. Y. Times. s
Have You had good time this
summer, Willie?" ''Yes,'' replied the
young man. "Do you miss your school?''
''Not much. But guess mother does
washington Star -.-...--. ~. Y.
Dreamy Novelist-''What change
woman can make in q mans life!'
Victim-''Exactly, and what . lot Of
change she requires doing it. Chips.
First Traveler-"What is your
business?' Second Traveller (haught-
ily)-"I am a gentleman. sir.'' First
Traveler-''Indeed! How long have
you been out of work?''-N. Y. Herald.
1t was an awfully mean thing for
her to say, but, nevertheless, when
Chollie had observed that he wondered
how it felt to be a donkey, she replied:
'Why, Mr.. Sappy, can't you define
your nsations?'-Harper's Bazar.
-Fred-"What do you think of nv
argument?'' ll-"sound-most GER
tainly sound" Fred-"And what
else"' Will-'Nothing else-merely
sound. boston Globe.
The Wife-''Of course, can make
allowance for little heat of temper.
1t isn't every man that can be master
of himself" The Husband-.'No, if he
has wife. IN. Y. Press.
Tied told me last night that was
the only girl he had ever loved"
bah, he proposed to me three months
| ago." Nov l know what he meant
when he said there were some un-
PAO0S9<tAV AAC1uCApS III 11S DitSV Ill., -
Inter Ocean.
MIR. South-''I'll buy some of those
new scarfs you SO much admire if you
refer me to somebody to tie the knot"
Miss North-''Why don't you see our
pastor?''-Clothier and Haberdashers'
Weekly.
-Teacher-''Tell me- Alfred, who
helped you in your composition?"
Scholar-''Nobody, sir" Teacher-'I
want you to tell me the truth. Now,
was it not your brother?" Scholar
mo, sir; he did it every bit himself"
How He Became Freak.-''I don't
see anything remarkable about the
looks of this man." said visitor to the
dime museum. ''What's he here for?"
''That man." said the lecturer, ''took
$40 home with him after two-weeks'
stay in Chicago. ."-Detroit Free Press.
-''Do you have any trouble with
your freaks?" asked the visitor of the
dime museum man. 'Lots of it, re-
turned the keeper. ''The ossified man
is always kicking; but guess he won't
kick much more.'' ''Why not? Have
you given in to him?'' NO; but told
him the next time he growled I'd give
him to the Jog-faced boy for lunch. -
Harper's Weekly.
| -Mabel-''Do look, Florence! Did
you ever see such an extraordinarily
ugly man? And yet he must have found
some woman to marry him, for that
child he has with him evidently be-
longs to him." Florence-"Why, Mabel,
the child proves nothing. 1t may be
only grandchild after all. ''-London
Punch.
-"Give an example of natural in
ference" the college professor said.
"Well, sir" replied the student, 'if
you should meet a carriage some Sun
day afternoon with young man on the
front seat and another young man and
a pretty girl on the back seat, natural
inference would be that they were
going after another pretty girl. Som
| ervi11o JOnrna1