Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-30
THE DECLINE OF COURTESY.
A Marked Absence of Little Attentions
in Social Life
The influence of the salon I'm Euro-
pean Capitals IL for Good, bat
Not Enough.

mat tne salon has never existed, IN the
height Of its influence. outside of France.
and as characteristic feature. is nearly
extinct there. is a popular mistake In Lon
oon there are a few. though only a few; but
In StPetersburg there are many, giving to
that city on the Neva an animation much
needed in the dullness of its long winter
The political salon, especially. reieus
there in glory. The Russian lady is very
clever, and to her the important morsel of
gossip Is not the most recent bit OF news
In regard to the social or domestic Affairs
or her friends. What she Graves is the lat
est state secret, the ideas Of the car on
the subject of the day, the details Of an
official mystery
1t is true there are drawing rooms where
the elegant young people kill time by talk
ing about dresses. plays and the most
frivolous gossip. but to pick ND a word
nom foreign ambassador that viii reveal
the secret of a situation. to be ready In
conversation to glide impercepubly into
politics. in short, to be 1.-THE best Informed
woman in St Petersburg" is the aim of the
woman of the smart" set
In Paris there are some cases of the sur.
vival Of the salon. For instance. there is
the salon of Madame Carpenter. wife of a
weH-known publisher. where the most die
unguished hgures in literature and politics
cohgregate Another which yet exists n
that OF the Princess Mathilde
But II is like a "Reminiscences, only of palmy
days, because the prejudices of It's mistress
. n with freedom Of opinion and
speech A new salon is Madame Jane
Diealafoy's, the resort OF a lot of sayants
whom she receives in the male attire which
sne adopted when making excavations in
fersla- This does not mean that she made
excavations in an evening suit and white
tie, but that in Paris she continues 70 wear
male attire Another fourishing one is of
the dignited and venerable order not easv
of excess. with ancient traditions ana fur
niture TO match. sim another is a philo-
sophie salon. where Buddha and the Khan
asaha are discussed as freely as the last
hew play might be by ordinary mortaL-
wEile IN that OF one very brilliant lady the
takers are so numerous and SO very 40
Quent that the hostess has to limit the
time allowed to each by ringing a litfis
bell.
Little BattIenelds of Thought.
The fame Of the old salons OF Europe has
been traced to the vague nervous rest
lessness Of the temperament of their Head
ers. whose absolute necessity for ceaseless
activity drove them into these little battle
fields. where they could bring into the com
Dat their own good and bad though feebler
quaites; Tor the possession of a salon gives
the hostess much opportunity and power
In one political IDEAS may germinate; in
another strife may be stirred I'D, as in the
old times of revolution; in another impor-
tant political intrigues may come to frui-.
ton. In Paris. however, hostesses TODAY
content themselves with academical and Mt
erary intrigues, and they do not, as OF ola
sway the social manners of the time. This
| Is pity, for the manners OF the present
are certainly in need Of repair.
The days of chivalry often are quoted
with longings for mended manners but they
were tinseled days after all. while the UNI
yelled grossness OF later good old days.
was almost brutal And in society now the
fha -
the lack of senstiveness on the part Of wo-
men, is bringing about a very rude state OF
social AFFAIRS. IL now. In the height or
salon days, women would make a stand
against bad manners ana refuse 10 tolersfe
any man that is too ignorant or too boorish
TO understand and pra ctice politeness on All
|. occasions, they would soon cease to be
treated TO lapses in courtesy. II women
with fortunate position In the world. who
have handsome establishments, entertain
attractively, and have a wide. assured social
innuence would refuse TO invite receive
man whose manners fail in general polite
ness-no matter how desirable he may h.
considered financially. or as a matrimonial
parti-there would soon be a revival OF the
courtesies of life.
The woman that has a cultivated dispo-
sluon angelic enough to see only the good
SIDE or human nature, that pleads mere
thoughtlessness for a selfish upstart anc
enters the claim of a kind heart for a man
whose manners would be scarcely respect
able in a stable-such a woman would
hardly be calculated to lead a social hope:
her amability blinds her discrimination
1t is the woman, brilliant rather than gen
tie. discerning rather than lenient that
might accomplish most gracious wonders
by the exercise OF her decision.
They, Too, Lack Courtesy.
Members OF the "jeunesse doree" are ant
to consider themselves the very pinks Of
courtesy. but their actions often fan &c
bear them out In that idea: as. for example
| uh one NJ fHarr loA
ball and languidly asks her:
do you care to dance thisy'
II she should be very handsome. tremen-
dously wealthy and young he might infuse
more eagerness into his suggestion-it can
hardly be called an invitation. He might
in such a case. convey an idea OF asking a
favor, though, in the majority OF cases. he
considers his dances blessings conferred.
Another case is that OF a chaperone who
brings up young bachelor 10 introduce 70
the daughters of a friend only 20 see him
bow and walk away. when. moreover ne
has received, many times. the hospitality OF
her house, and is really under obligations to
help her entertain her charges. Again. at
supper. who has not seen young men re-
peatedly push their way before elderly Ia
dies to serve younger ones that were afford
ing them amusement and pleasure for the
time?
The lack Of civility TO any but those that
are a particular pleasure or advantage 70
him detracts from the matrimonial desira-
bility OF any man. The girl that sees her
admirer leave her to pay Difference 20 her
mother or her hostess viii not think the
less OF him: she will be more apt to see in
that a foretaste OF the courtesy coming 20
her also when her youth and beauty are
fed and she has reached the dismal stage
of the ''yellov leaf"
One is almost considered effete to EXPECT
unselfish politeness nowadays. IL Is argued
that nobody has time to think and bother
about little courtesies in this busy age. The
read of life has become so crowded that
people think more OF struggling after wealth
and fame-or for sheer existence, Il may
be-than of such trines as little cividties ,
We must hustle and hustle and jostle others.
or we ourselves will be thrust out OF the
roadway.
Although men are sometimes lacking In
small courteses. IL must be admitted that
women often are lacking in acknowledg-
ing and approaching them. When polite
ness is shown IL should certainly be politely
acknowledged. yet many men have had ex-
periences where that rule has not been OBJ
served They could tell Of more times than
one when they have held open a shop door
or tried to prevent its swinging back in the
face of the next conner and their little ef-
forts have been accepted without word
Of thanks even slight acknowledging
bend OF the head They could mention many
cases where they have been kept waiting
by an unpunctual lady friend who would
have been surprised to be told that she had
been guilty of selhshly impolite behavior
in showing such scant consideration for a