Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-08-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


Showing the queer-Incarceratine
lunatics.
The baby in the cradle strikes the
bedrock of happiness.
The police justice should always be
prepared to see fine point.
When man begins to say Every
thing goes - it usually does Puck
The less attention you pay to your
neighbors the more you interest them.
Two for five-A couple of tramps
trying to pick up a nickel. New York
Journal.
All escaping prisoner seldom begs
pardon for the liberty he takes
Troy Press.
1t is strong boarder who can eat
three plates of hash without turning a
hair. Boston Courier
Yale wants the eroclzs,e but what TO
do with granite quarry is a puzzle.
-Meriden Republican.
knowledge is power except in tho
case of the man who knows he is licked.
Indianapolis Journal.
One way of providing for rainy
day is to make preparations to go to
picnic. Philadelphia Times.
1t is hard to live within ones salary,
but there is one consolation-it Is
harder to live without it, Truth.
The bare faced lie naturally does not
meet with the same respect as the
ancient humbug with whiskers. Puck.
''The heart knoweth its own bitter
ness, but there are many souls VINO
don't appear to realize their own gall.
RAMS Horn.
The modern landlord doesn't get
frightened when he sees the hand
writing on the wall. He just gets mad.
Buffalo Courier.
If cholera prevails i'll years when
rhere are few flies, the indications fJr
a healthy summer are very favorable.
Buffalo Express.
A Camden minister who was given
match sealed in an envelope for a we'd
ding fee made light Of the imposition.
Philadelphia Record.
He-'Dont you think you could
love me just httle?" She-"Oh,
yes can love you just as little as you
like. "-Somerville journal.
1t is easier for camel to go through
the eye of a needle, than for woman
to go through ferryboat without
glancing i'll the mirror. Puck.
What's the name of your new
boat?' II named it Bridget after
the cook, because it makes such heavy
rolls. journal of Education.
You perhaps wouldn't think 50 to
look at it, but almost any musician
will tell you that the stick beats the
drum all hollow. Troy Press.
Miss Chicago-''Is your neuralgia
any better, dear?" Miss Boston
Better? How could it be? 1t was
never good. Detroit Free Press.
A great deal has been said as to the
slowness of the turtles movements, but
all we can say is that he generally AZ
rives in time for soup. brakes Mag
azine
Even after people have struggled TO
reach the top of the hill of success
they find the apex swarming with
mosquitoes and other nuisances.
Truth.
Hotel Clerk (Chicago)- =" "Sir, You
are leaving without your board bill -
Guest t-"Of course l am Don't take
me for freight train, do you ?''-At-
lanta Constitution.
Bob trying to grow a mustachel-'1
say, Tom, does it show at all?" Tom
(seriously) Well, yes, little; but
never mind l don't think anybody
will notice it. Washington News.
Is Spooney apt to marry that pret-
ty girl at the cravat counter?" II
think he would if he felt that she
could break herself of the habit of
calling for cash. "-Philadelphia
Record
81 think l will take holiday the
next three weeks" remarked the Sec
rotary and Treasurer of private COM
pany to the Chairman thereof. "But
you returned from one only two weeks
ago" True; that was my holiday as
Secretary; wish to go now as Treas
ursr, '~-Tid-Bits