The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1893-03-01
AFFAIRS OF THE HEART.
Chow 10 Court-WhO to COurt-When
tO COurt.''

| 10 Court.
This was the subject of an address which
was elivered in the Court Room last Friday
night to a full house by the KEY: Dr: Bays. -
considerable interest In the expectancy, and
In It's delivery the people were not dlsap
| pointed. 49,.
| of character, possessing the power OF elo-
Quence In q mark ed degree.
| For nearly an hour and a half ne held his
| audience, which listened TO him with unnag-
ging interest from first to last.
DR.. Bays related many Interesting circum-
stances in his own experience be-
fore he crossed the Rubicon. in which he often
ries were amusing In the last degree, yet with
slight changes In some CT his recltals they
were not totally different from the scenes and
Saapers In the psd the
nature. But these rehearsals were more
amusing than Instructive,
His address was arranged under three gen.
eral divisions, as indicated In the heading OF
this notice, as follows:
How 10 Court-Although he said at the be-
ginning OF his lecture that courting was
dine art, he said that young men should be
TO see their sweet hearts In their every day
clothes. The girl, he said. should be seen as
she truly Is. In her every day apparel. even as
she cooks the meal or Kicks the cat out OF the
Kitchen window.
On this we would remark that our expert
ence would lead US to believe that TO win sue
cess something else is needed than sincerity
Of speech and honesty or purpose. On the
other hand, IL Is barely possible, II we saw
our sweetheart Kick the cat out OF the kltch-
en- window, or exhibit disposition 10 use the
poker on a head, that we would readily relin-
Qulsh all claim TO that particular angel. 1t Is
every woman s Christian duty to appear as
pretty as possi BILE, and II Is also her bounden
duty TO be az good as she appears to be.
Who to Court-The lecturer said that the
dude ought to marry the firt. The manly
men ought to marry womanly women. That
q girl ought not 10 attach too much Import
gard with too great severity his gawky man
ner or the lack Of polish on his shoes. Ihat
the rough exterior OF the country boy often
covered better heart than the more fashion,
ably dressed and better educated boy from
town. The plalnest gi1l, he said, II worthy,
need have no fears that she would have
suitable offer Of marriage.
When to oCourt-The learned Doctor thought
that in young manhood was the time 10
court. Children should neither court nor
marry, but when men and women bad reach
ed the years of maturity they should marry.
They should not fritter away the best part Of
life in prolonged courtship or in an intermi.
nable engagement.
did as much eourting as the uaa, men, and laa ne
ing gudgeOn'S scalp In most cruel manner,
which act, he suggested, was not commend
able one.
tributes to the excellencies and virtues and
sweetnesses Of woman. He thought that
while q man might occasionally get vile
who would be Wiling on the slightest provo
cation 10 fight Sherman's army with poker,
yet such women we're the exception. AS
rule they were good-scarcely lower than the
angels. Being good and pure themselves ne
their lovers that their lovers demanded Of
them, VIII ich leads US to remark that-if they
adopt the lecturers advice-there will be sew
The Difficulty of Marrying-There are some
things which the learned Doctor did not say:
He could not say everything In an hour and
hulf, und as supplementary TO our report OF
the "Di fticulty of Marrying" which we find
in the newspapers:
sometimes great deal of useful advice can
oe concentrated In very small space. THIS
of New York. on marrying-a subject on
which the budding youth OF the land cannot
have ZOO much wise direction. The young
lady. to begin with, is dissuaded In this WORK
from expecting an ideal marriage. She is not
10 count upon ~ creature OF form, make and
mental endowment that hrills her whole
being into rapturous JOY" She must take
men rs they are. Still she is not 10 marry "a
very small man." nor "a masher," nor a
Spendthrift. nor u william, nor stingy man.
She Is also 10 beware OF the top, the dude, the
drunkard and the clown. The clown, we are
told. won't wear we'll. Real providers" II is
explained, "are never witty. Life Is a trip
that that costs car fare. wash bills, and actual
outlays. Is he funnys How many times can
he be funny?" ..
BY avoiding punsters is not the whole duty
OF woman. She must marry, our author as.
sumes, but she must be discreet about II.
Don't marry for money" she Is told, but az
the same time "don't marry man too poor"
She is to avoid the foreigner, the crank. the
miser and men OF .odd Sizes" She ~ not TO
marry "too young" but at the same IT,, 1t is
unwise 70 marry "too old'' or "far apart 10
ages" When, at length. she does marry, the
motive must be all right. She IS not TO mar
ry IRON pity nor "recklessly,r nor "hasti-
not to expect too much in marriage" and
when the time comes she is not 70 elope. Evi
IDENTIFY husbands, In our authors opinion, are
very uncertain Investments. The young man
naturally needs fewer cautions. 1t is the la
rIage bargain, Still our author advises the
young man not to marry n titterer." nor .
coqaette. nor "flne feathers" nor "for Spite"
This Is special caution about girls who
ing" Nor is il advisable, says the author, 10
marry ~ doubly divorced wOman," or "above
you," or below you," or your cousin" or
lone who is not good at home" Having
made up hia mind. the lover "must not COAX
the woman, But"don't daily" says our au-
Ing" Many mans happiness has been
blasted by procrastination. There are how.
ever, cautions to be observed as TO times and
places or proposing. "Don't propose" urges
at break fast or In tunnel" When all the
foregoing warnings have been needed, the
prospect OF happiness in welded life, our au-
thor assures us, Is very fair. But how any
body Is ever to get married after all these d.
rections have been followed 1t is impossible
to say.