The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-02-11
Punctuation q Z Fine Art,

punctuation - . Fine Art.
"Browp, my boy, there's nothing like
1t. It's better than French in six weeks, ;
because you can work it into yourself in
month, 20 that you can hardly say or
think anything without following the
rule. Take this beautiful selection,
which recalls our schoolboy days: The
boy stood on the burning deck, comma,
whence al but he had fed. aemicolaa !;
the flames that lit the battles wreck.
comma, shone round him DER the dead,
PERIOD That's grand; that's inspiring.
You have all the beauty and all the sent
iment, and besides you punctuate as you
60 along, and 70 mingle the artistic and
the useful.'
Brown was quite taken with this new
plan for learning how to punctuate prop
erly. He had often felt like brother to
the fellow who wrote book without any
punctuation whatever, simply adding in
an appendix complete list of puntua-
ton marks, from which the reader could
select and punctuate as much or as little
as he pleased.
The first lesson went of swimmingly.
Brown 30 fell into the spirit of it that as
he walked up the street afterward he
found himself soliloquizing: II wonder,
comma, if I had better get that paregoric,
comma, for the baby, comma, before l
60 home, period. Perhaps, comma .
Then he slipped mp on piece Of banana
skin and went down fiat with two excla-
nation points and enough stars to equip
several issues of "blanket sheet"
For the first time in his life he felt like
using the ''dash" and also making dash
for the miscreant who threw that murder
Gus peel there. He lay on the pavement
long enough to denote several paragraphs
then got up with difficulty and limped
down the street. But the magic power
of that first lesson was still upon him,
and meeting newsboy he began: swell,
comma, my boy, have you the Star? in
terrogation point" The sharp-eyed little
rascal stared at him curiously, and then
replied: "Com-ah2 Come off. When
did yer 'scape from the 'sylum2"
After punctuating the town generally
during the next two hours and getting a
crowd Of small boys at his heels, whom
he escaped by seeking refuge in an empty
school building place the average boy
never enters if he can help it-he took
home to his dear family somewhat bat
tered but still large supply of punctua-
ton.
At 2 q. m. his wife nudged him.
''John, John, there are burglars in the
housed"
"What-ahl Burglars, burglars" Now
wide awake he sprang to the floor, ex-
claiming: "Dearest, comma, will defend
you, comma, even with my hearts blood,
comma, if necessary, exclamation point"
AA0 sSCA IoACW OpCA TUG Cuot0OCI uOOI
right in the face of two masked burg
lers, who held pistols to his breast and
demanded:
"Your money or your life!"
With one whirl of his strong right arm
he dashed the pistols aside, two bullets
perforating the hall window instead of
his head, as was intended. With two
more whirIs of that trusty arm he sent
the burglars as surely and swiftly as one
sentence follows another in the mouth of
q 20O-a-minute speaker, out through the
window after the bullets, remarking:
There, comma, now, comma, you can
hunt your bullets at your leisure, period.
Call again, comma, and I'll show you
how to punctuate better, comma. but
you can't put period to my existence
just yet, period"
Then rushing back to his wife, he ex-
claimed: "Joy of my life, exclamation
point, light of my eyes, more exclamation
points, cone to my arms, period" They
fell, weeping, upon each others necks.
Stars and dashes came in here, denoting
domestic scene too sacred to the eyes
and ears Of the vulgar public WASH
ington Star.