Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1893-08-25
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD ey FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many odd, Curious, and 1aushable Phases
Of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists of Gu Own Day
"A Budget Of Fun.
Sprinkle. Of Spice.

Sprlnhles of Spice. ,
The ocean breakers come In swell
and grand and go oft broke.-Pica-
yune.
Do NOT be a minlow. Take the
world for your scboOl.-GalvestOn
News.
The prize bull is generally unap-
proachable in his particular field
Troy Press.
JAGsoN says he has no objection to
a foreign air If it is disinfectcd.-El-
mira Gazette.
The street-paver isn't far wrong in
characterizing his work as beneath
/ m.-Buffalo Courier.
1NQu1s1T1vE PARTY - Whose fu-
neral is this? Irish Undertaker-
Mine, sor.-Texas Siftings.
ALMOST everyone who can't sing
was at n time a member of a.
church choir. -Atchison Globe.
"DD you see that shocking straw
hat De Slips is wearing?" ayes; an
other Panama scandal. Puck.
JAasoN says that the fellow who
keeps whistling sAfter the Ball"
ought to get it.-Emira Gazette.
"Do YOU use condensed milk?:".
@Guess so. The milkman can put q,
quart of it in a pint jar."-Puck.
ONE disagrecable feature Of gam
bling is that a man has to meet so
many chance acquaintance. Troy
Press. D..
TEACHER - Define gentleman
Boy-A gentleman is a growed-up
boy wot used to mind his MOTHER
Good News.
MANY show their teeth when they
grin, but few grin when they have to
phia Times.
1T is singular that so many banks
should be swamped when the people
nave S o thoroughly drained them
Lowell Courier.
"IIE is fippant. He can't be seri-
ous if lie tries" ayes, he can. He is
very serious when he tries to be fun
ny. "-Brooklyn Life.
JONES (reading)-The Worlds Fair
- Browne (bitterly)-Don't be-
lieve 1t. 1t hasn't treated me that
way.-New York Times.
The fly that the spider wove a web
for was not SO very fly after all. He
was curious about the weaving, and
got taken in.-Picayune.
The thoughtful man never mails a
letter with a new Columbian stamn
on it without wondering If it will 20
for two cents.-- Elmira Gazette.
A NoMAD1c RAcE.-First floor
How many servants do you keep?
High f1at-None, but we have no
end Of 'em as casual visitors. Puck.
FIRST ACTOR Gin tragic Whisper
Are we quite alone? Second actor
glancing grimly at the small audi
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES York Weekly,
The active d%og-catcher often
catches it most severely when the
woman who owns the dog catches
him at his little game.-Swansea Ga
zette.
GERMANY will now have a bigger
standing army than ever. This ia
due to the Reichsrath not sitting
down on the tax. - Philadelphia
Times.
SHE-I can't see any sense in call
ing them my sailing shoes. He
Well, I notice you make about twenty
knots an hour to keep them tied
Inter Ocean.
The WAITER Gas Wigley started to
leave)-How do you like my button
hole bouquet, sir: Forgetrme-nots,
sir. Thank you, sir. GoOod-morning.
-Pick-Me-Up.
RoBBINs-I'm just back from Chi
cago. Dobbins-Really, old fellow,
I'm sorry, but I'm so tied up fnan.
cially that I can't lend you a cent?
Philadelphia Record.
LATE jewellers singing aThere's no
place like home" always stob their
melody just before they get there, and
creep upstairs in their stocking feet.
Boston Transcript.
ALTHOUGH as a rule the girls are
no admirers of stinginess, when the
right fellow comes along few of the
fair ones object to a certain degree of
closeness.-Buffalo Courier.
CHARLEY-So, Jim, you were ex.
travagant enough to pay 800 a dozen
for your handkerchief. Don't YOU
think that was a good deal of money
to blow in?-Columbia Spectator.
IRATE but polite person (who has
just taken away an umbrella from
the social pest in front)-Permit me.
sir, to return your umbrella; I found
1t in my eye.-WOrld's Fair Puck.
alt was awfully clever of baby. He
had never been told what flowers
were, but the minute he saw them
he said, sBwobs!'" sBut what does
'Bwobs' mean?" Showers, of course.s
Bazaar.
HE-Io often think-atleast / some-
times wonder-I mean I wish I knew
II you cared for me, don't you know?
She-Oh, but they've got a clairyoy-
ant in the next town. Couldn't YOU
find out?-Boston Budget.
Cunum Cynr r--