Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1893-09-10

dt.cnsaons oEer politics and religion.
bus n~ser had ny real serious Gghts
Mortlnler coad Always prove al his
ssasemen1s ~ no bibls AID - could
foFadvenEufs.
''sometimss they would 80 little too
far, and h0rtiner would pout al the
evening. aud Per.dssnture woald nounos
OF n I'D and slsm his boots ous at
time on The noor WHEN hs undressef an.i
tired 10 scare "a Bat IA the morning
both woald wake mp all pleasant. and
Mortimer would tackle httls black
pipe be has. While Psradsenturs would
50 INTO ths battery snd take largeeom-
preAsnsiTs swallow cut Of bottle that
has lonesome Cd chsrry It tho bottom
II IL Ar hrst be took this only In tho
spring, bat now be has gradually aided
moFe and ul0re spring months al the
robins seem % Be nesting most all the
time with hirn-
Il take them 90 the circus with me
every year aud sometimes twice, snd
they remember and talk about it for
years afterward. Mortimer u . great
adn,irsr Of the elephant. and have al |
can % 20 drag him away from the large
beast with tbs country seat 10 his pantA
sf3ut Persslveufure loves rare animals.
such - the lsekass bird Of Australia
and the sacred new milk cow Of Farther
India He claims that be has seen most
everything now that Noah had and some
that no couldn't get, like the Polied
Angus % moody COW. and other things
that Noah advertised for far and WIDE.
but couldn't obtain In thoss days
''one day they got into sort Of quar-
ri over the female acrobat that hangs
from tho top Of the tent by = bunion
and holds. suspended in air. by her teeth
and . wide suspender an uncle aud two
other relatives on her fathers side.
Mortimer claimed to have selected her
first. but Pcradventure said: You bet
Ter take some one Of your own aga
Take the child wonder In the sideshow;
shes about a. lettering as you be-
And SO they quarreled that way, till
finally thought l would have TO take
them out. but pretty soon the lion cage
was wheeled into the ring. and the curly
headed hon tanner. with Hair Bloom on
has tresses, performed all sorts OF feats
with the king Of beasts. winding mp by
gagging the king q the forest with his
dank dome Of thought. Then people APP
plauded the man. forgetting that the
poor lion would have to go and eat cat
or an Angora goat 70 take the taste out
Of his mouth.
I'VE have great fun. OF course. though
IN qnist way. my wife and / comparing
notes regarding Mortimer and Peradven-
ture. for they DO lots Of amusing things.
Sonetimes l. is not 50 pleasant when
they eat too much preserves or drink
milk when they have been eating green
corn and watermelons.
But nothing is more beautiful than
In the winter evenings by the big open
ire 10 watch Mortimer and Peradventure
playing checkers and whistling 'Floyd's
Retreat while they knock a couple Of
checker men together and crow like
pair of infants.
''Ididnt finish telling you. though. how
Persdyenture hoped on Mortimer and
~ A1-l%A ma ~ t8AiA4 ttA0 a4VANAO%AAAN&
candy that he had put ZIP on the joist Of
the woodhouse. Well. Mort denied it,
though he didn't Of course know that
had done it myself for Peradvenfure's
good. and be said my grandfather ought
10 know what he was talking about be-
fore be tackled folks
AT that my grandfather said that he
had been graveled and CALLED about
long enough by an old fungus like my
wifes grandfather. and he might about
"a well settle him and put him out Of
his misery now as any time. SO he
started at him with wild light in his
eyes. but Mortimer had In his mind what
ia told HIM about being prompt or his
hfe would pay the penalty. go he
grabbed the ax that was sticking in the
chopping block and made rush for
Peradventure that scared him almost TO
death.
Blank your old peltr says Mortimer.
II you are In this woodshed IN another
minute. I'll split you open from the bris-
ket 10 the watch pocket and open you
up Ike a boughten codfishl Now gitr