Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-07-19
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

SOME Iu0u are 80 1uQOlouU UndU Un6v
wouldn't even take their ease if they
had to go out of their way to get it.
YOnkers Stdtemdn.
to Congress and the country in prepar-
ing his August message, and cut it low
in the neck p Cincinnati Times.
NOBODY can we'll blame those pen
sioners for preferring to say reform
be hanged"- rather than to suspend
themselves. Philadelphia Times.
MosT other things seem different, but
tre-ccackers make just as much noise
now as they did when most of us were
yOung.-SOmerUiUe Journal.
WHEN man reaches the age at which
he is ready to settle down and stop Civ
ing his wife trouble, his sons have
reached the age to DECENTRALIZATION
Globe
AT the theater: Mamma, doesn't
papa like music?" Eyes, my child;
why do you ask ?'' "He always goes
out between the acts when the band
plays. Philadelphia Record.
Young WIFE-''Now, sir, I've given
you half my picnic pies, and you prom
Used to work for them -" Tramp
''Bless yer sweet eyes, mum, [ did-as [
wuz eatin' of 'em. - leceIa,ed Plain
Dealer.
IT is not enough to take what comes.
Go after something aIoestou Neocs.
AFTER all, the difference between a
true-hearted girl and firt is only tri-
fing.-Troy New.
"WEREN'T you surprised when he pro
posed ?" mo. Why should [ be ?"
Everybody else was. "-LJe.
''Do you believe in a personal devil ?"
Il believe in everybody until l have
been deceived. "-Bosto,o Transcript.
THE fool seeketh to pluck the fly from
the mules hind leg, but the wise man
letteth the job to the lowest bidder
Memphis Appeol.
THE thoughtful man never mails a let
ter with new Columbian stamp on it
without wondering if it will go for two
cents.-EZmiro Gazette.
DOES Jaggs seemed changed any
since his stay at the gold cure?' eyes,
he's able to drink any kind of stuff he
can get now" -Inter- Ocean.
THE young lady to whom [ became
engaged at the ball last night is hereby
requested to send her name and ad-
dress to the office of this paper.-I
Sec0ls.
''YoU'vE bought bicycle, Ell? Well,
that beats riding in street car, doesn't
it % ooh, | don't know. AS it is, old
fellow, | frequently have to give up my
seat. "-Trttt.
BECAUSE patriotic Capt. Lawrence
once cried: Don't give up the ship !"
various folks construe it to mean not
giving up ship--PhjJ0-
deLphio Times.
Glow do you like your new lady
help, Mrs. Todgers?' ' II should like
her good deal more, Mrs Dodgers, if
she was little less the lady and little
more of help. "-IEd-Bits.
YOU'VE RoRTY-''What do you mean
when you say you are a gentleman be-
cause you aE1ea hH2stl r n that al; to be gem
tleman / must have no business.
Young Rorty-"Ah, [ understand noWl
You mean that you have no business to
be gentleman, Brooklyn Life.
LITTLE ELLY-FPapa, the coniurer we
went to see last night changed shilling
piece into flower !" Father-'T That's
nothing to what your mother does; she !
can change &5 note into a dress. .
Bdsler Ndchrjchten.
HE way out Of it, for Australia, is to
set her pugilists to killing rabbits
CIeoeto1ad Plain Dealer.
ALTHOUGH rheumatism must be very |
many people seem bent on
having it.-L0aCeU Courier.
A DEAF man cannot be legally convict
ed. 1t is unlawful to convict man
hearing.-SJtings.
IN well-regulated family the olive
oranch OF peace is sometimes stont
hickory sprout.-DaIas NqaUs.
JAGsoN says the only way to make
home attractive to our boys is to rent it
Q some other family. Ejmira gazette.
Dip Bilkem leave anything when he
he'd ~ Yes; his creditors. THEY'RE
he worst left lot you ever saw. "-B9fa-
0 Courier
BLoUNr looked into the crater, but
he press dispatches don't mention
whether he took drop Of it or not.
florida Times.