The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1893-05-05
How They VIII Dress in 1909.

regard the present date as the climax Of
fashion in dress. While it has taken several
hundred years to WORK up TO it, the decline
will be far more rapid. Man has simply
been goaded TO point of desperation, and d
change is bound to occur. have already
given an order on the downward slide and
in couple of weeks shall appear as
pioneer in the new movement. We shall
not only restore the dress of our great
grandfathers before we stop, but run the
costumes of Adam and Eve pretty close
shave.
Man wears too much cloth, and that
cloth is cut up into too many shapes. The
100000 men of the United States are
wearing an average of twenty buttons each,
making 4OO,OO0,0O0 buttons for all, esti-
mated to weigh 100000 pounds. Five
buttons can be made to answer every pur-
pose, even at this day. Fifty years hence
the number will be reduced to two or three
pieces of fishline, or tarred rope may be
made to answer every purpose. My great
grandfather used horse nails in place OF
buttons, and don't begin to be as rich.
handsome and healthy as he was.
Collars, cuffs, neckties, starched shirts,
sleeve buttons and underwear are of mod.
ern origin. The idea of the inventors was
to keep down the population by making
man kill his fellow man, and it has been
success Darius, the great and wise king
of Persia, never had shirt in his seventy
two years of life, and don't propose to set
myself up as being heap better man than
old Darius There is no record that George
Washington ever even saw suit of fan
nels, and yet he managed to wallop the
British and hold down the White House to
the general satisfaction of the country.
Not one of the pilgrim fathers landed in
this country with socks on his feet or col
lars and tails on his coat. Any artist who
puts coattails on pilgrim father ought to
be sent to Jail for his ignorance. Those
things were not only accounted as superfiu-
Gus, but positively unhealthy. The coats
were tailless and collarless, and one wooden
button was considered all that was neces-
sary. Are we any healthier than the pill
grim fathers? Can we run faster, jump
higher or stow away more corned beef and
cabbage at dinner?
Hannibal never had sock on his foot.
He never saw vest Had man come
fooling around him with starched shirt
there would have been a sudden death.
Had he been told that the day would come
when civilized being would have to buy
at least three two shilling neckties per year
to be in the swim he would have called
that man a liar and horse thief. Am
better man than Hannibal? Can / have
the cheek to characterize him as a slop
shop dresserp
Woman will keep right on until every
one of her suits costs n million dollars apiece,
but man is bound TO return to the simplici-
ty of Biblical days Sandals, toga and a
cheap straw hat will replace the costumes
now worn. Sandals will strike us as rath-
er cool for January, and togas and straw
hats will bother us some at first with
blizzard whooping around, but in time the
change will give general satisfaction, and
we will look back in contempt and disgust
upon the costumes Of today. My straw hat
and sandals are finished, and my toga is to
be sent home next week. How they will
take it along Broadway is more than can
tell, but some one must pioneer the way,
and shall fall-to be remembered and
blessed. NJ. QUAD