The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1893-06-13

For while their pathway was strewn
with roses; life seemed to be covered all
over with blossoms.
Adam, however, was ambitious. He
had conceived the notion of annexing
West Dalles, Grand Dalles and Thomp-
sons addition, and in case the salmon
should conclude to emigrate, that he
would consolidate the interests of this
place with good slice of Washington,
by building good substantial bridge
and by suoh means bring about city
that would astonish the natives and
tickle the pride of the oldest inhabitants.
But Eve didn't seem to take much stock
in Adams project, and as Adam was
running behind, and getting into debt
with his grocer, Eve mildly expostu-
lated with him upon his extravaganza,
and plainly informed him, that if he did
not draw in the horn of his city plans
just little bit, the family exchequer
would soon run so low there would not
be single bean left with which to buy
the baby pair of the commonest kind
of shoes. Adam was in a predicament.
to look for Sunday, but he saw the point
of Ewes argument and determined to
at once act upon it, even if he had to
douse the glim of every electric light in
the city, order less cross walks put in,
and he even decided that the fire de-
partment should squirt no more water
unless the boys were willing to do vol
untary squirting at their own expense,
and without charge to Adam or the city.
And SO Adam with the consent and APP
proval of Eve, issued an order, directing
that no more street lamps be lit, no
more cross walks be built or repaired,
no more useless pNlice force, and no
more squirting of water by the fire de-
partment, and from thenceforth every
one should furnish his own lights, cross
walks, and do his own squirting of
water, freely and voluntarily and with
out any more charge or expenseto Adam
or the city. This order received general
sanction, and the people for many miles
around applauded Adam, and thought
even the people of North Dalles, and
Grand Dalles, and Thompson's addition
were of the same opinion, (leaving the
bridge between the two cities out of the
argument) while old Caroline whooped-
er up' and offered to bet ten cents on
the dollar that such statesmanlike
views had never been promulgated since
she commenced .peddling Snyder's
whisky. There may be dog rackets,
and there may be cat rackets that figure
more or less conspicuously in the affairs
of men, but statistics show that no i'm
portant racket antedates the Adam
racket, whatever may be claimed to the
contrary Notwithstanding.
Yes, we are going to have reintrench-
ment. Dou't you forget it No more
street lamps; no more cross walks; no
more police force; no more squirting of
water, and no more Caroline in ours
WE ARE THE PEOPLE, and by the Eter-
nal, we do not propose to buy any more
cotton bales to catch British bullets!
No! Let Andrew jackson hereafter
fight his own battles and buy his own
breast works. We do not propose to
stand any more extravaganza, our babies
have to be shod. He who stays down
town after dark hereafter, does so at his
peril. Eve shall have her reward; she
shall have her say in this matter, at
least. But we do not want her to flip
up any more of her old dried up apples
Notwithstanding, however, she might be
able to catch us with strawberries and
cream.
As Adam seems to have satisfactorily
solved very difficult problem, we have
concluded to say no more for the pres
ent. 1t would hardly be just to antici-
pate the future, and besides we might
shoot wild if we attempted prophecy.
SCHooLBoY.