The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-08-02
penciI md Scissors.

to go.
There is a fly poison shampoo for bald
headed men.
Gold in large quantities is returning
to this country.
The ice-cream sign is still bane to
the dude with feeble pockets.
John Sherman is pretty sick of his
unpopular offspring, the silver bill.
ALI Sinclair had his hand badly laeer-
ated in the wheel of a wagon, recently.
The Kanawha river at this place is
entrancingIy beautiful these summer
evenings.
West Virginia and Delaware viii cele-
brate together at the Worlds Fair on
the 23rd inst.
Silver dollars will be accepted at their
full valuation at this Office in payment
of subscriptions.
A baby cannot see very far into the
future. or it would postpone its bowling
until it grows mp.
Chestnuts with whiskers are great
deal easier to swallow than butter in
the same condition.
There may be pigs that never wal
lowed in the mire, but there never has
been one that didn't want to.
a really good christian is man who
doesn't laugh when it rains on u picnic
party to which he was not invited.
Quite a number of our farmers were
in town last Saturday, and the mer-
chants who advertise were all busy.
1t turns out after all that the ''Immor-
tai ]. N" is not dead. Missouri water
was not thick enough to drown him.
The merchants OF Berkeley Springs
have all agreed not to sell cigarettes
hereafter. Let our merchants do like
wise.
Samuel s. cambridge, the richest col
ored man in the S. ate, died at Charles
ton recently. His estate is valued at
$4,000.
After girl has been married a couple
of months her former admirers begin to
discover how pretty her younger sister
is growing.
When a Young mans moustache is
smaller than his eyebrows, he is better
satisfied with himself and knows more
than he ever will again.
Seventh street is in bad condition.
Weeds grow there nnmolested, and
seems to be the dumping ground for the
balance OF the town. Clean it up.
The business man who is making ex-
penses these dull times ought to be sat
isfied. Keep hustling and pushing bus
mess and better times will soon come.
Will some one explain why we always
speak of putting on our shoes and stock
ings. and of putting on our coat and vest,
when the the stockings and vest are al
ways put on first?
Too much praise cannot be given our
citizens for their valuable work at our
recent fires. They are always promptly
on hand, and can beat the world fight
ing fire with buckets.
Rather than loaf around the streets
from day to day and week to week, it is
best, if there is not work at home, to
put the feet to work travelling to where
there is work. Who does this ftp.
Our country friends should be on the
lookout for swindlers. Every exchange
that has come into our office for. a month
has reported some scheme which this
enterprising set of citizens have worked.
Credit is due to Mr.. Alb. Van Matre
for discovering and putting out large
spark which had blown on the roof OF
the Lew Gibbs house, during the fire
Saturday. A breaking out in that corn
er would have been disastrous.
If your uncle has an aunt who has a
nephew whose wife has cousin that is
married to an old friend of your wife's
sister, whose grand father used to live
in the same town with an old school
mate of yours, whose son-in-l law is now
living in Chicago, you should at once
renew the acquaintance with view of
saving hotel bills while attending the
Worlds Fair.
While our pet racers, Strong Boy and
Marquette, have been winning laurels
and fame in the Buckeye State, we little
dreamed that we had in Mason county
two of the fleetest footed gentlemen that
ever lifted a hoof When returning
from camp-meeting at Cheshire, last
Sunday, Messrs. W ~ Chambers, of this
city, and Frank Fry, of Henderson,
got off the train on the Ohio side and
started to walk down the track to the
road leading to the ferry-landing. They
had gone but short distance when
they stepped plump into nest of angry
humble bees. Mr.. Chambers threw out
his breast like a fat partridge and flew
down the track like a jack-rabbit with
a grey hound in pursuit, swinging his
hat and umbrella frantically about his
head, while his legs worked as rapidly
as patent churn dasher Mr.. Fry was
far in the rear at the quarter pole, but
one of the hot footed little birds having
took passage on his left cheek bone, now
began to ply his spur and Mr.. Fry pass
ed under the wire only nose behind
the winner. amid the cheers OF sundry
farmers who witnessed the exciting race.
Beyond a few swollen spots and bad
case of thumps they are all right.