The herald., 1893-01-23
AN ADVENT OF FAKIRS.
THE TOWN FULL OF MEN WHO WORK
SIMPLE MINDED PEOPLE.
Street Operators Who Cure Diseases
Pull Teeth. Sell Soap, Remove
Warts, and Sell Everything,
Even Their Patrons.

"My girl, she ran away from me with
Chinaman, and wrote her to come
back to me and would marry her." is
the narrowing plant of street vendor,
who accompanies himself with a banjo
in singing, or singing at. this soul-stir-
ring and nerve-destroying ditty. This
professor wears long hair, of course, the
usual badge of genius unappreciated,
and fur overcoat. This latter lisa libel
upon our climate, but no doubt tbe hir-
suse professor is from the northern
citrus belt," where such an Esquimau
costume is necessary.
After he has finished his aria, much
to the delight of the audience, who are
waiting to see what will come next, he
then begins to descant on the supposed
virtues of his cureall, which he guaran.
tees is a sure remedy for every
remedy from toothache to pain in a
window. After few sales, another
aria is given by DR.. Cureall, in which
the auditors are informed that his girl
has left the Chinaman, returned to her
first love, and that he, the singer, will
make of her blushing bride. Then
some more choice curealls are offered at
cost Ito the purchaser, and as the
crowd begins to thin out, DR.. Curesll
gives another "plink, plunk, plunketty
plunk" on his banjo and holds crowd
until closing up tlme-about 10 O'Clock
at night.
On Upper Main street, near the plaza,
genius with short hair holds forth.
He has a portable stand, on which rests
a satchel filed with cakes of soap. He
has gig lamp in front of the dry goods
box which he mounts, when he sum-
mons the pasHers to draw near and to
hear what he is about to say. He opens
with banjo eolo-having the good taete
not to attempt to sing
When the crowd has assembled he
takes cake OF soap and lathers his
face and then as if by a trick of legerde-
main blows it Fl, or rather the bubbles
evaporate. He then goes into long
putting endorsement OF the many saving
qualities of the soap, and after working
off the sepulchral joke about ship
wrecked man being washed ashore in
consequence OF his having cake in his
pocket, the professor" begins to sell it
The neighborhood of the plaza is very
good market for soap, and the professor
does good business for two or three
days, until it ie found that his soap wont
work as advertised.
Another fakir offers to remove stains
from clothing. The stuff that he sells
does remove the stain by discoloring
the garment and eating out the threads.
Those who buy his stain eradicaror like
those who buy certain quack medicines,
never buy another BOTTLE"
The voice of the ''doctor" who re-
moves warts and moles is also heard in
the land on South Spring street. He
begins his entertainment" with lee
ture on dermatology. and offers to show
diplomas from New York colleges
(bought at SO each). He has a few
dummies to practice upon small boys
to whom he pays 10 or % cents each.
Then patients come forward and are
operated upon. In few days. they
take their sore hands to a physician to
be repaired.
The lightning tooth extractor is an
other fakir playing the town. He
guarantees to extract teeth without
pain (to himself and does it
at from 80 cents to 81 head.
Frequently he gets hold of the
wrong tooth, but out it comes. The yells
and groans of the subject furnish addi-
tional amusement to the crowd Then
the fakir sells patent tooth-wssh to the
crowd. which he also guarantees will
prevent the hair from falling out. In r.
few days he leaves for San Diego, where
the field ie greener.
Within the last few days several of
these peripatetic professors have
swooped down upon Los Angeles, evil
IDENTIFY preferripg the climate to the rain
and fogs of the windy city by the Golden
Gate. After they have worked the
southern section like theatrical snaps,
they will fit northward in the spring.