The farmers' union. (Memphis, Mo.) 1891-1895, 1893-05-04
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO,
INCS HERE AND THERE,
Jokes and JokeIets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-sayinss and
beings that Are Odd, Curious and
LauShab!e.
Let isLiuS',-

he guarded in all he says and does -
Troy Press.
TIE undergraduate is one who is
tramp'cd to jelly in football rush.
-Hcayunc.
IT is doubtful whether blind man
can possess the prophetic gift: he is
no sccr.-Lowcll Courier
THAT air is very familiar" said
the musician. As gust Of wind took
f''s rat away. V.-I.ampoon.
SNATTER lis Miss Doul I'D 10
the time>:' Lum>y-"Oh. yes. She
wears French heels. "-NaSt's Weekly.
It's an open question which is the
more ohjc'. .ionaAlc. Il hoistcrou> girl
or 4 Eir;str Us boy y.-DanSyille Freeze
I'M onto Your game. a> the fly re-
marked when he tt.el on the
eckertoard. -!'h Philadelphia Record.
ME> who never take stand any
where else frequently have to take
Gnc in Il street car Detroit Free
Press
EVERY poor poet knows that writ
rrs crarlp is n Yer 50 hard to cure us
when il : in the stomach
Journal
TEACHER What is arithmetic"
Ike -"Arithmctic vas the science vich
I aches Us how to compute interest on
money Life.
ESrEC (>ighins) Things are not
what they used to lie in this house
Mrs. Enpcc No: even you have
greatly changed. Truth,
FANGLE-"A man is not ncrcsSar.
ily Il foorwalker because he walks
the floor Gun>o-"That's 50. He
may BE parent. Vogue.
\ MAN should not imagine be-
cause girl Of ,6 laughs at his jokes
tha' he is Il grsa wit: girl Of Is
laughs because she is l6. 6.-AtchiSOn
Globe.
Mrs. WABASH How di . YOU come
TO marry your divorced husband
IIelen:' Mrs. Lakeside 1t was the
only way l could get my alimony7 y
Truth.
ELI.A-"What MAKES you think
he loves you? Did he say so:" Ida
No: but he huGgrd me That is 2
roundabout Why Of letting me know
it.'-Lifc
ST. PETER-Good morning: won't
you come in? Shade of Boston Girl
How dare you speak tn me without
having been introduced: :-Arkansaw
Traveller.
ARE you tircd:' asked the poet,
as Ec STOPPED in one of his ctrusion>
Tell me truly" "Oh. no. she an
Swcrcd. al have just been asleep =
Exchange.
wv A-,.'T that moving sermon on
domestic ch .ritic- by DR.. Monthly"
ayes. indeed; old Skyntlynt actually
dropped a tear in the plate. "-IIar-
ward Lanpoon.
MAID-"Thcre are no flies on Mi
ncfva Backhay." Mah--"Certlinly
not. Those insects are not fond OF
having their toes frnst-l itten. -
Texas >itting-.
Il NEVER had so long Il Try spell in
my life" said the Kentucky gentle.
man, who had been shut up for a
WEEK in Il mIcrancc town hy tho
foods. Exchange.
SIiE-"Eo lchavc" Hc--".IuSt one
little kiss. Your father has gone in,
She gazing >kyward) )-"Y,s. hut don't
yoli know that Mars unlisra ~ near
-i'ittshurg Bulletin.
"THE difference said the mar
with weary look in his eve. abe.
tween my poem and my umbrella i,
that the poem is always returned
with thanks. ."-Exchangc
SuE-"Why do you suppose Mr.
Tompkins always wears such ar
amused smi!c?" IIc-"Well, ht
ought to- lie has a keen sense of the
ridiculous and is very self-cOnScious.
Life.
THERE is no need of the whole ma
tiol getting OF about a consula
agent being shot in the foot. but i
wouldn't be surprising if it mad,
him hopping mad. - PhiIadclphi;
Times.
NAMMA-"And how did my little
pet get to sleep last night without
mammal" Little Pet-"Pap1 trie(
to sing me to sleep like you do, an
hurried up and went to sleep SOS no
to hear it. t"-Exchangc
He KNEW HER FAILING. Mrs
DrcSswcll Ito her daughtcrin-law)-
Wait a minute: you haven't seen m
duck of a new bonnet. Daughter-in
laws husband Gnterposing)-lIaSn'
she? Then you didn't buy it any
where in this ncigborhood.
SUNDAY MORNING. Barker (goin,
to his club --iood-mornng. Mis-
Smithers. On your way to st. Pc
tcr'S? Miss Smithcrs-And you are
tco, / suppose? Barker embarrassed
oh, of course. Miss Smithers-
Queer we should be travelling in oI
rosite directions. -IIarpcr's Bazar
WHAT is going to be played at tn
opera house tomorrow evening. Nj
McGinnis:" asked Nr. Lopgcolin
ut isn't decided yet" replied McGin
mis-. "Ilow is that?' Il don't kno,
how it comes" said Mr.. McGinni,
"but ! read in the paper this MON
ing that they were going to pl:l
'Othcllo, or the Moor OF Venice
but it did not say which. ."-Tcxa
Siftings.