Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1893-09-09
ALL FOR SCIENCE.

A few years ago the Magruders lived
in Ccdford. and Mrs. Magruder. who
was an enthusiastic amateur doctor,
used to teach class OF female friends
the rudiments of Ihy,iology. At that
time Magruder was la business, and as
he generally came home tired he had q
habit of lying on the up stairs sitting
room sofa in the evening for the pur-
pose Of taking a nap.
Several times when he did 50 and Mrs.
Magruder had some friends with her
down stairs he noticed upon awakin2
that there was peculiar heaviness in
his head and u queer smell of drugs IN
the room. When he questioned Mrs.
Magruler about it she invariably col
ored and looked confused and said he
must have eaten something which had
disagreed with him.
Ultimately the suspicions Of Magruder
were aroused. He suspected something
wrong. 4 horrible thought crossed his
mind that Mrs. Magruder intended to
poison him for his skeleton-to sacrifice
him so that che could dangle his bones
On string before her class, and explain
10 the seekers after medical truth the
peculiarities 4.>truction which en-
ablcl the It..incNoEA vi her husband to
move IN society.
So Magruder revealed his suspicious
TO his brother, and engaged TO secrete
himself in cupboard in the room while
he to5k his usual nap on a certain even
ing upon the sofa.
When that night arrived Mrs. Ma
gruder pretended 10 have Sewing cir
Gle" in the parlor. while her husband
went to sleep up stairs in the sitting
room with that yigilant relative Of his
on guard.
About o'clock Mr.. Magruder's broth
er was surprised 10 observe Mrs. Ma
gruder softly stealing upstairs, with tbs
members of the Sewing circle" follow.
ing her noiselessly in single file. In her
hand Mrs. Magruder carried a volume.
IL her brother-in-law had conceived the
idea that the book might contain the
tender strains Of some sweet singer
amid whose glowing imagery this WON.
an reyeled with the ecstasy of a sem
sitive nature, he would have been mis-
taken. for the work was entitled
Thompson on the Nervous System" :"
while those lines traced in n delicate fe-
male hand upon the pertumed note
paper carried by Mrs. Magruder, so far
from embodying an expression of the
gentlest and most sacred emotions OF her
bosom, were merely diagnosis of an
aggravated case of fatty degeneration of
the heart.
When the whole party had entered
the room Mrs. Msgruder closed the door
and applied chloroform to her husbands
nose. AS soon rs he became completely
insensible the sewing in the hands Of the
ladies was quickly laid aside. and TO Ma
gruder's secreted brother was disclosed
the alarming fact that this was her class
Mrs. Magruder began her lecture with
some very able remarks upon the
nervous system, and in order to demon
stlate her meaning more plainly she at.
tachcd galvanic battery to her hus-
bands toes SO that she might make lnln
~usgle. Mrs. Magruder gave him a
dozen or two shocks and poked him with
a ruler TO make him jump, while the
others stood in o semicircle with note
books in their hands and exclaimed,
How very Interestingly
Magruder's brother thought 1t awful,
but lie was afraid TO come out when he
reflected that they might want two
skeletons. Mrs. Magruder then said
that she would pursue this branch Of
the investigation no further at that mo.
ment, because Mr.. Magruder's system
was somewhat debilitated in conse
quence of an overdose Of chlorate Of
potash, which she had administered
in his coffee upon the previous day for
the purpose of testing the strength Of
tho drug.
Mrs. Magruder then proceeded 10
quiz" the class concerning the general
construction of her husband. She said,
for instance. that she had won what was
called tho heart Of Mr.. Magrnder, and
she asked the students what it was that
she had really won.
"Why, the cardia, of course" said the
class. at is an azygous mnscle of
an Irregular pyramid shape, situated
obliquely and little TO the left side of
the chest, and it rests ON the dia-
phragm."
One fair young thing said that il did
not rest on tho diaphragm. Another one
said she would bet quart of paregoric
1t did, and until the dispute was settled
by the professor Magruders brothers
hair stood on end with fear lest they
should so TO probing inside of Magruder
with butchers knife and lantern fol-
the purpose of determining the actual
condition of affairs respecting his dia
phragm.
Mrs. Magruder continued. She ex
plainel that when she accepted Mr.
Magruler lie seized her hand, and she
required the class to explain what il
was that Mr.. Magruder actually had
hold of.
The students replied that he held in
his grip twenty-seyen distinct bones
among which might be mentioned tho
phalanges, the carpus and the meta
earpus Tue beautiful creature who wa
incredulous concerning the diaphragm
suggested that he also had hold Of the
deltoid. Dot the others scornfully sug
gested that the deltoid was a muscle
The discussion became SO exciting thai
laEcets were drawn. and there seemed
to be prospect OF bloodshed when the
teacher intertered and demanded Of tbs
girl who had begun TO cry about III.