The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-10-21
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd. Curious, and Laughabie Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists Of Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.
SprlnkIes Of Spice.
No PEOPLE ever made any money

, w IrsOILf thtI tuduc HlOucV
swapping grunts. News.
IT Is the deaf and duml,orator who
speaks feelingly, as it were. .-Elmira
| Gazette.
WHEN baby is born IL Ia usually
red, but 1t soon becomes little yell
ler.-Boston Courier.
In carrying gun the great point
is 10 point the muzzle the other way.
Philadelphia Times.
CoBBLE-"How do you find trader"
| StOne-"That's the great trouble. /
] can't find it. ."-Clothier
ONE feature OF cyclone is worthy
OF general limitations; it always does
its level best. Lowell Courier.
MILK has gone up half a cent a
quart in Brooklyn, but no rise Of
cream Is reported. Troy Press.
THE amateur photographer has a
habit OF taking almost anything ex-
cept hint. -Somerville Journal.
The prize housekeeper IS a tenant
who can hold on for six months with
out paying any rent.-Galveston
| News.
So FAR, no one has ever made the
blunder OF painting Cupid TO look
as II he had any sense. .-Atchison
| Globc.
A SPRUCE STREET girl calls her pet
pug Knickerbocker because he is ad-
dicted to short pants. Philadelphia
Record.
4 GROCER who had lot OF Linn
| burger cheese for sale advertised il
as an "unapproachable bargain. -
| Siftings.
ABOUT all the buried treasures
most people have are the good reso.
lutions they have put away. Calves
| ton News.
"THET comes" said Uncle Lie, 90
the express company not hevin' their
money in old socks. " - Cleveland
| Plain-Dealcr
IT'S no use to ask the man who Is
| going to have a tooth pulled whether
he doesn't think this is just perfect
day. Journal.
Il FEEL myself beneath you," as
the man in the lower berth in the
| sleeper remarked TO his companion
on the shelf above Lowell Courier.
THE Tree planting Society OF
Brooklyn Is trying TO check the nib
bling of trees by horses. 1t is GER
tainly a-gnawing. Philadelphia Rec
ord.
BOTH lemons and figs can be done
| ..it IN hn tit.n
peach is preserved the women will
| put up with that. - Philadelphia
Times.
LIFE" exclaimed the man who
enjoys being a misanthropc, "is moth
ing but one long hustle for a chunk
of ice or lump Of coal. Washing.
ton Star.
IT was small suburban youth
who explained that it was not SO
much the heat that troubled people
as "the general humility. Boston
| Transcript.
THE woman who never had a baby
| of her own generally can't under
stand how il is that mother can be
so foolish as TO let her baby cry
, Somervile Journal.
TIMES like these breed cautious
ness. A farmer whose poultry is in
the basement OF his barn sends us
word that even the hens are laying
low. Buffalo Courier.
SOCIETY EDIToR-Ilere is a woman
writing to us to know if a grass wild
Ow ought TO wear mourning. Boss
Editor-She might wear green
lawn. n.-Indianapolis Journal.
Understandable always speaks
we'll OF everybody" Wicks-"Mere
matter OF habit. He worked at cut
ting out tombstone epitaphs for sew.
eral years. Boston Transcript.
Mrs. PoINDExTER (horritled)-"I
leads a double life Miss Forty
! with a sigh)-"That's, much better
! than a single one. brooklyn Life.
SHE (romantically)-In what hour
OF inspiration do those beautiful
poems Of yours come TO you? He lab
stractedly)-The time Of the noon
mail delivery, mostly. Chicago Rec
ord.
YOUNG WIFE-How nice il would
be il life were perpetual honey
moon-nothiug but billing and cCC-
ing. Young husband-H'm! | think
could get along with just the coling.
| Truth.
Miss MAY WATTS, OF Boston, re-
Gently dec aased, lett all her estate OF
5000 10 her pet cat, Otto, which
will be taken abroad. The cat should
come back with an Otto biography -
Philadelphia Ledger.
! WATCHMAKER-My friend, l sus-
pect you've been putting kerosene oil
in this watch. George Bond-That
| have. When a watch goes in soak
so often something must be done TO
countcract rust. Kate Fields Wash
| ipufpn