The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1893-12-08

eyes, they be- sez he, ''they are jest
exactly right, and they know it and 1
know it and every livin' man knows it.
Obi" sez he warmly, "them men put
men and wimmen in their own different
spears and keep 'em there SO beauti-
fully. If you would foller up them
idees, Samantha Allen, would be the
happiest man in Jonesville or the
work."
"Well," sez /, in reasonable axents,
81 would be willin' to charm you,
Josiah Allen, but 1 don't see how
| could allure and do housework at the
same time"
And then we had some words
Sez I: ''This butter has got to be put
| down, and l would like to have you
| bring up the tub from the suller and
have you help pack it. 1t is hard work
| for woman's arms, when they are
| almost broke off Already"
"Wall,' sez he, short and terse, ''if l
| go to Jonesville that democrat has got
to be creased"
And he ketched up his basin of wag-
on-grease, from the suller-way, and
started off almost on the run.
|
| slammed the door behind him. And
whether it wuz that slam, or whether
| it wuz his refusal to bring up that tub,
or whether it wuz l wuz SO tired out, or
| whether it wuz that piece he had read
wuz a-gratin' on my nerve onbeknown
to me-whether it wuz any of these or
| all on 'em put together, don't know
| but tenny rate, before the echo of that
slam had died away in the spare room
and parlor, jest dropped that butter
ladle down, sot, the bowl on the but
terry shelf and, sez l to myself, in the
inside of my own mind, but firm and
| positive:
''Ill take you at your word. Josiah
| Allen. will do the rose act as near
as l can make out what it is, and you
may work for me while l allure and
charm. l will emulate the rose and be
| silent"
turned over in my mind all the pic
lures had seen of females trying to
allure and charm, and recollected, as
nigh as l could remember, that they
had ginerally been in settin' poster, so
consequently | sot
| l believe, too, it wuz proper for me to
sort O. clasp my hands in easy, grace
full attitude and smile some, SO conse-
| queutly smiled considerable.
| had, previous to my goin' into the
parlor, put on a good clean gingham
dress, brown and black plaid, and a
white bib apron.
didn't remember of any of the fe-
males 1 had mentioned apoearin' in a
bib apron, but, thinks 1, 4 bib, more or
less, amt goin' to make or break al
lurer and charmer. So I ventured it
And 1 leaned back in my most lux
urions armed chair, covered with good,
handsome copper plate calico, and. as I
say, smiled quite good deal, and looked
very allurin' and winnin'.
Thinks es l, / don't know exactly
how to do the ''rose act" without any
regular rules. I knew roses blew out,
but it couldn't be that men would set
that for a sampler for their companions,
for they are deadly opposed to their
oardners tallkin' on duty which they, in
oheir blindness, call ''blowin' blowin'
round"
No; knew it wuzn't that. 1 sposed
t meant to keep still and look pretty.
So tried faithful l am always very
thorough in anything undertake.
Wall, jest as got my hands clasped
in very graceful and allurin' attitude,
and my lips wreathed in a winsome
smile, my pardner entered with his
basin of wagon-grease in his hand.
/ set where / could see him plain.
lie glanced into the buttery, and sez
he:
Gracious Heavens! Hain't that but
ter finished? Nor the tea-kettle on at
half-past eleven?"
1 smiled at him as sweet as knew
how but KEEP silent.
Ag'in he yelled: why, in the name
of the gracious Peter, hain't dinner un-
der way?"
Ag'in I smiled. And ag'in l KEEP
silence. (The rose act" jest as nigh
as could foller it,
And finally he sez, lookin' clost at
me:
What are you a-tryin' to do, any
way?'
Then come out plain and sez to him,
in middlin' calm aXents, but firm:
Josiah Allen, am a-tryin to allure
and charm"
| Sez he: "You are a-bein' gol-darned
fool, that's what you are a-bein'." That
wuz the secout time he had used that
dreadful word "gol darn" since our
married life commenced. But l still
smiled and murmured, gently and ten
derly:
Sweet pet"
And then Josiah Allen burst out into
words that won't tell, even if I am
put on thevery pint of the steak.
No, indeed! They wuz words that /
wouldn't have them men that wrote
that piece-"What / Would Do If |
Wuz Woman''-I wouldn't have them
three men hear what one of their own
sex said, not for a dollar bill. 1t would
gnaw into their consciences too much.
1t would wilt 'em right down into the
ground to see what consequences had
flowed out of their fiowery talks and
what jest one woman's follerin' their
rules had brung down onto both men
and wimmen.
stood up under it, bein considerable
used to it, and also bein' nerved COM
pletely up on principle.
And ag'in he yelled, in nearly fren.
zied axents;
81 shall lose the chance to sell that
butter!! And am starved!!! Twenty
four hours since I've eat mouthfulli,l'
His axents wuz dredful. Stormy and
| nnprr and vovalant in +ba avtro,,,o