Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-08-21

After all, the difference between /
true hearted girl and firt is onl,
trifling.
First Tramp-Say, Willie, have you
taken a bath? Second Tramp (anx-
iously)- No! Has somebody missed
one?
Perhaps some of our readers would like te
| know in what respect Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy is better than any other. We viii
| tell you. When this Remedy is taken soon
| as a cold has been contracted, and before it
has become settled in the system, it will count
eract the effect of the cold and greatly lessen
it's severity, and it is the only remedy that
Will do this. It acts in perfect harmony with
nature and aids nature in relieving the lungs,
] opening the secretions, lquefying the mucus
| and causing it's expulsion from the air cells of
/ the lungs and restoring the system to strong
! and healthy condition. No other remedy IN
the market possesses these remarkable prop
critics. No other will cold so quickly
For sale by H. G. Pierce. druggist.
81 called upon Mr. Gaswen this after
noon and made formal proposal for
his daughtet's hand. All, indeed!
And what was the outcome?" 81 was"
GA man." said uncle Moses, sis a
heap like a silver dollah. De best
way to find out wat kline o. metal he is
made of is to slam him down hard"
eff I were you, Jones, wouldn't be
a fool" said Robinson, during an ar
gument. ssYou are right: if you were
I, you wouldn't be FOOL" replied the
latter.
elbow did you fall into the cigar
cite habit?" 81 was on the roof Of a
house one day and fell to the ground"
IT don't understand y sit knocked me
senseless."
BUCKLEN's ARNIcA SALvE.-The Best Salye
in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers,
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
CURED. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect sat
isfaction, or money refunded. Price Is cents
per box. For Sale by III. c. Pierce.
Guard = Fraulein, get in quick,
please! The taain is just going to
start. Young Lady-But want to give
my sister a kiss. Guard-Get in, get
in! I'll see to that.
A little fellow climbed upon his
mothers knee and essayed to wipe
away her tears. ssBe a man, mann
NAL" through her sobs she heard him
murmur. esBe man!'
Hicks-I guess I'm square with Dix.
gave his boy a mouth organ last
night. Mrs. Hicks-But you are not
square with me. Mrs. Dix sent him
over here to spend the day.
The motto of the proprietors of DR.. Henry
Bakers Mandrake Bitters is, "the greatest
good to the greatest number and so sell
large bottle of valuable remedy for the
small price of 25 cents, and warrant every
bottle to give satisfaction money refunded
At a restaurant gentleman called
for one photographed error" "We |
don't serve 'em sir,'' said the waiter
''Then why do you have them on the
bill of fare?' asked the patron.
eff Torkins pays me what he owes
me, | shall go on to the continent this
summer" "And if Torkins doesn't |
pay you what he owes your" "Well, it
will probably be Torkins that goes to
the continent.''
Papa-Mercy: what an interroga
ton point you are! Pm sure I didn't
ask such strings Of questions when I
was boy. Little Son = Don't you
think if you had you would be able to
answer more of mine?
EDITORS SOM asked papa when the
was comm, an if Mars
was Inhabited, an if it was goin' to
rain next Fourth of July; an he said
ever got to be an editor.
| don't see, said the Investor as you
have any signs of a town here. No
signs! Well, I reckon we have! There
S lot for the post office, a site for
pond for baptism and six
for governor.
Hazel-Did you take those Column
oian stamps off the library table?
Bridget Faith, mum, if yez mean the
10y paper what has the chrome on
van side Of it, sure and it's out in the
kitchen where they do be most worst
ssPalette is in hard luck,'' said one
lrtist TO another. .How?o "He
PAINTED a picture of the CRATE in his
DOM, and got it SO natural and life
ike that a new servant he had threw
scuttleful OF coal through it and ruin
ID it.''
A common cold should not be negle cted.
Downs Elixir will cure it.