The Progress., 1893-07-08
PUT THE GEESE TO BOOST.
The Mistake of Lawyer who Retired
and Took to Farming.

ana TOOK TO Farming.
Don't talk agriculture to farm
er, was Daniel Webster's advice to
"a friend. discuss any otncr sub
jcct with him-art, literature, pOlit-
ical economy, finance - but never
farming; for if YOU once launch forth
on that he will find you at fault in
some particular and conclude that
ignorant in one thing You are ignOr-
ant IN all This advice was recently
repeated in the hearing of i Herald
man 10y a gentleman of New York
city upon hearing of the eX-
pericnce OF an amateur farmer, a
friend of his, who, after "a long and
active career, in which he achieved
fame and fortune. rclinquished an cX-
tensivc practice of law for bucolic
hupcrintcndencc over an estate not Il
hundred miles from New York
Shortly alter he assumed the man
agement of his farm the lawyer re-
cClvcd a visit from one of his neigh
bOrs, a shrewd old farmer, who had
never been a hundred miles from
his nome. Various matters were
discussed as together they wa. Ged
about the farmyard inspecting the
new windmill. improved water
trOughs. cattle sheds and other '.ncw
tangled fiNinCs." Naturally the am
ateur betrayed his gross ignorance
to his more practical and experienced
companion. The latter was some
what of wit and at last, in visiting
the poultry yard. venturcd a sugges-
tion. This is all very fine, he said.
as he glanced about, but where do
your ducks and geese rOost at night?"
Il never thought of that, replied
the amateur. '''ve seen them
'squatting' around at night and
thought they liked that. I'll have it
attended to at once. Low rOOsts, |
suppose, would be the bcst?"
The farmer thought they would.
"Place them about two feet from the
ground" he remarked, and then.
smiling in his sleeve, unhitched his
old mare and drove away home.
Not a moment was lost by the
former New Yorker. He erected his
duck roosts, and at nightfall visited
the Toultry-yard to observe how the
fowls enjoyed the innovation. 10 his
chagrin they appeared to ignore the
rOOsting place and were squatting as
before on the ground.
Poor things, I've neglected them
too long" thought the humane anna
teur. They don't realize the
change" With that he began to
grab at the ducks and brakes and
geese and ganders and deposit them
Il terrible commotion among tho
fowls. which attracted all the farm
hands with shotguns to the poultry
yard.
When they arrived there they saw
their employer, perspiring and red in
the face, trying to balance the web
footed creatures on the roost from
which they fell with terrible "quack.
quacks" the moment his back was
turned. it was not long before the
truth dawncd upon him that ducks
ard geese were intended by nature to
"squat" and not to rOost.
He returned to the house deeply
ashamed OF his ignorance and speed
lily became the laughing stock of the
country around. The illustration Of
Webster's advice came in the form OF
an entire disregard thereafter of any
opinions expressed by the man. In
New York his utterances had beer
regarded as words Of wisdom urcr
no matter what subject EXPRESSED,
but in the country they were greeted
with: "Oh. pshaw, ne don't know
notEin' He mt pAesa to rOOSt "