St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1893-04-22
VERY SUSPICIOUS.

"George" said Maud
II am William" said William, sternly.
ooh, I know that, Willie" returned
Maud. II hurt my finger, and that was
my little swear word. - Harper's Bazaar.
A GOOD REASON.
Bande 1sitting in his comfortable
apartment,- I pity the poor such
night as this!
Blutf-Then why don't you put on
your coat and 60 out and see if you can
not render assistance to some of them?
Blaude All, then / SHOULDN'T be SO
comfortable as | am now, and might
forget the poor and begin to pity myself.
That would be selfish, you know.
Il Boston Transcript.
Clarissa And you say that old Jones
told you he loved you?
Ethel-He said he dotted on me.
Carissa-Oh, yes, it is plain to be
seen he has reached his dotage.
NO ONE ELSE HAD ANY SHOW.
Brobson-Who was the greatest show
man-Barnum?
Craik-Oh, no; Noah. Yousee, when
he got his mcnagerie together he was
the only man on earth who had any show
at ALL Life.
TINE AND MONEY.
A couple of bachelors were talking
about their forlorn and undouble con
dition
"Well,' said one. II should have
married long ago. but haven't had time
enough to think about it,
" Time echoed the other. " Time?
Well if the adage is true that time is
money then | haven't had time enough,
either" and they went on their lonely
ways detected and sad Detroit Free
Press.
WHY THE COOK LEFT.
You ask me why left there?
1t really made me grieve;
But master and missus quarreled SO
much
That at last had to leave
Their lanswidge it was dreadful,
And awfully they looked.
You ask me what they quarreled
about:
Twas the way the meals was
cooked.
TYPICAL FIRE ESCAPES.
ttuest-What precautions have you
here in case of fire?
Hotel Clcrk-We have fire escapes
from every floor. All you have to do is
to make YOUR way to one of them and
fall of. -fNew York Weekly,
SMART AS HIS PATIENT.
Old Doctor-You look quite well to-
day Did you take the pills | left for
you?
Young Knowital (emphaticall-Not
one of EN-
Old Doctor--Well, it doesn't matter.
They were made of bread
4 GREEN FOREIGNER.
First Boy--The paper says that when
!, some train robbers started to rob the pas
sengers out West, man jumped up an
knocked 'cm down, an kicked 'em out.
Second Boy-Guess he must a-been
some immigrant wot hadn't been livin'
in free country long enough to get
scared. - Good News.
THE FORTUNE TELLER OUT.
And she is going to marry an Eng
fish lord?'
"She isl"
well, I'll never believe in fortune
teller again
"Why not?"
"Bocause one told her fortune and
said she was going to have a happy
future. y New York Press.
WHY HE WET
.Iohnnys mother found him weeping
bitterly Something serious must have
happened.
why, Johnny, my dear, what is the
matter:''
''Boo-hoo! Grandpa just fell down on
the we-wet walk and got his clothes all
mud"
but don't cry, Johnny am glad to
find you SO kind hearted and svmpa-
thetic.'
"Ye.ye-yes, and sister saw him, and
I-ldidn't. II Truth.
BOUND TO SELL THEM
Crusty Customer-You say those
SldSSCS dIC tIItc IllIlt US FdluaDle rs L
wear. | can't see it.
Bright Salesman-Certainly not, with
those imperfect old sses.-[Jewellers'
Weekly,
LIKED OYSTERS.
Little Son--Mamma, do you like
pearls!
Mamma-lndeed, do.
Little Son-Weli, you give me some
morey to 80 to a restaurant an get
oyster stew, an mebby I'll find nice
pearl for you.
THEY CRY IN TRAGEDY.
Frcnd-Did you ever shed real tears
on the stage!
Actress-Often. It's enough to make
even an actress Cry to be told, right in
the middle of fve-act tragedy. that
the manager has skipped with the gate
receipts.
LOUD
How does he dress?'
His clothing speaks for ITSELF.
.lHharpia isn't afraid to toll tho tr,,tl