Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1893-03-17
veraclty aud the r.ress.

w. III. Siviter in Harper's Magazine:
Now" said the editor of the Quo.
hosh Genius of Liberty to hisreporter,
sin your work shall look for u calm,
dispassionate statement of fact. My
paper is noted for its veracity, and NO
exaggeratiOn is allowed on any sub
ject. DO you think you understand
that clearly:"
eyes, sir.'
'"Then you may attend the Skim
gullet- Dumsquizzle wedding, which
takes place at noon today, and I'll
see how you handle it, said the edi-
tor, turning to his desk.
This is what the new reporter
handed in after the festivities were
over:
cit is the custom of most newspa-
pers, in giving accounts of local we'd
dings, to speak of the bride as beau.
full, even if she is as ugly as a mud
fence. The Genius of Liberty scorns
such battery, however. If Il woman
is beautiful we hesitate not to say SO,
but il she is not it is not our fault.
We proclaim the fact. We wish we
could say that Miss Melinda Dunn
sq,tizzle, who became Mrs. Dennis
Skimgullet at noon today, was love
ly in form and feature. but we can
not. While we have seen uglier girls,
it must be conceded by all impartial
observers that brick dust hair and a
multitude of freckles do not look we'll
ona bride. However, she die the
best She could under the circum-
stances in wearing tolerably thick
veil, and rugged out as she was. i'm a
dress of cream. satin, looked quite
prcsentable at distance. Hardly SD
much can be said of her husband.
who walked with limp, and whose
sparsely settled chin whiskers of a
pale dun color would have improved
his appearance if they had been
shaved off. We asccrtaincd by care
full inquiry that Skimgullet is old
enough to be his wifc's father, and
has, in point of fact, committed the
otfensc of matrimony twice before.
Some say that both his former wives
were starved to death: others, that
he worked them to death. Which is
correct, the Genius of Liberty does
not pretend to say. The statements
are given for what they may be worth.
What Miss Dumsquizzle saw in him
to marry is a mystery, unless she
thought she would be more success
full than her predecessors in getting
hold of the money which he is said to
keep buried somewhere on his farm.
We heard it said that her father
owed Skimgullet sl35, and that the
latter threatened to have him ar
rested on charge of forgery if lie did
not get Melinda to marry him; but
this statement has not been verified
yet. The presents were not very
and the most expensive
one that we saw was a peach-blow vase
worth dollar at retail. The couple
left on the accommodation for a
bridal tour of two days to Podunk.
We asked the Rev. Y. +. Geticks
how much the groom gave him for
tying the knot, and he said seventy
five cents. This. therefore. can be
relied upon as otticial.''
"Young man," said the editor, after
leading the reporters account, 'syou
are far too high genius to bury
your talent in small place like
Quohosh. would like to keep you,
but ! am sure that would be doing
you an injustice. think you had
better go to New York. where your
talents will be appreciated as they
deserve. And, by the way, when you
go to the station TO buy your ticket.
avoid making the fatal mistake of
buying return ticket. We are fond
of ycu, but not so very fond that alb
scncc could fail to increase it,.
Mary Montgomery, a domestic in
Pullman, Ill.,, was strangled to death
in her room before daylight after
being chloroformed and shockingly
abused by burglar, supposed to be a
maniac. The intruder. while in one
of the rooms r,lmmaglng for valu-
ables, was discovered by nurse. He
coolly turned down the gas. jumped
out of the window and escaped.
A damaging cyclone struck
Vincennes. Ind. and damaged much
property. Many buildings were un-
rooted, chimneys. trees, sheds, fences
and small buildings were torn down.
AT Brooklyn the Masonic and
Knights of Pythias halls, and also
Sellers and Richards blocks were
unroofcd. Heavy rain accompanied
the storm. No lives were lost.
The scheme of building an elevated
road from the business portion of
Cincinnati to Euclid Heights. an
eastern suburb, is now an assured
fact. Work will be commenced as