Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-04-07
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INCS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and JokeIets that Are Supposed To
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
Laughabl
sprinkles of Spice.

Sprinkles of Spice.
ALL France is now talking through
its Panama Appeal.
A DOGS bark does not always indi-
cate that he is upon the seize.-Bos-
ton Courier.
The couple who married for fun"
afforded large amount of it in the
divorce court. Puck
POLITE LITERATURE" must consist
of that class of books which we never
meet without an introduction.
This is undoubtedlya skin game"
said the man who had been cheated
in the purchase of furs.- Washing
ton Star.
LAvINIA-Yes, James and l are
to become partners for life Mabel
And you will be the senior partner.
How sweet!-Judy.
MRS. BILKINs-What a command
ing presence that lady has. Mr.. Bill
kins-Yes, guess she's married.
New York Weekly.
HOWEVER much we may revere the
wisdom of the ancients, 2O-year-old
encyclopedia is great accumulation
of cobwebs Puck.
"IN some respects the ancient Ro-
mans had the best of u.s." "Give me
an instance" "They hadn't got to
learn Latin. Half Holiday.
PERHAPS the strongest advocate of
an extra session is the young man
whose best girls parents hold him
down to one call per week. k.-Exchange
PHoTOGRAPHER-No madam, a
pleasant expression, please? Son-in-
law Gn the background 1
must not miss sthat!-Fliegende Blaet-
ter.
LETS go back and break bottle,
Cholly?" impossible, my deah boy.
I've quit breaking" "Why so?" "Im
broke already. Atlanta Constitu-
tion.
"THIs," said the youngster, as he
gazed at his effulgent al-tipped
shoe, "must be what they call the
light fantastic toe. Washington
Star.
JEss-To be safe, a young girl
should keep her heart under lock and
key Jack-I fancied most of them
did keep it at the bottom of their
chests.-Quips.
"MY son is smart boy at a bar
gain," said Hicks. "He sold a $40
gold piece his grandfather gave him
last Christmas to coin collector for
SIS yesterday. Puck.
Mrs. DowNYCOUCH-Bur broke
into the church last night and took
everything. The Rev. Downycouch
(absent-minded)-Did they take a
collection?-Texas Siftings.
"How DOES Editor Scrabbleton
manage to get such reputation for
Originality?" @He waits till all the
other people have expressed their
views and then disagrees with them"
Washington Star.
GILGAL-" you want anything
well done do it yourself is a good
rule" Mullins-"1 know a better
one. If you want anything we'll
done tell the waiter to bring it rare"
-Harper's Bazar.
TIMID CITIZEN (who has just
escaped from riot)-Who are you,
sir? Policeman am a member ot
the police force. There's my badge.
Timid Citizen (vociferously-Hel
Washington Star.
IN BosToN.-Tourist- like. a
conveyance this afternoon at
o'clock. Liveryman-Yes, sir. Do
you mean vehicle or a blank legal
form for the conveyance of real
estate. Pittsburg Dispatch.
A LONDON magazine has been sup
pressed for publishing one of Queen
Victoria's poems. 1t seems to us
that the editor might have estab-
lished an alibi by showing that it was
not poetry.-Memphis Appeal.
CURTIs-"Lend me a fiver, old
man." Burtis-"Certainly. How'll
a ten go?" Curtis-"Oh, come to
think, five wouldn't be enough; bet
ter make it ten." Burtis- -"Sorry,
old man; Pve got only V."--Truth.
NO." SAID good old Mrs. Jenkins;
Il haven't any faith in these new
tangled specifics. I've buried eight
children in my time, and the good
old-fashioned YARDS is plenty good
enough for me. e."-Someryille Journal.
HUsBAND-"Mercy! what have you
got all the gas turned on full force
for?" Wife-"As matter of econ
omy, John. / want to consume
81 900 worth this year SOS to get the
discount Of 10 cents thousand. -
Boston Transcript.
PERTERzE IRNCHzIzKowsKELow
is San Francisco cabinet maker, and
Perterje OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
ia Ruffalo bOiler-maker The con-
sequences Of chance meeting of
these two men in a narrow Boston
street would be too horrible to con-
template. e.-ROchester Post Express.