The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-04-02

Nj tributioD, iutcvminglcd with tor
3rnting visions OF austere courts, de-
&cted Offenders. and scenes vcrging on
ZIG inquisitorial abuses of old. a hor-
&able panorama OF IN execution in some
cludcd spot III the gray dawn haunts
&c dismal fancy Of the morbidly scnsi-
I've, and in the minds eye is depicted
<$ie haplcSs and helpless victim as he
sPtters on the brink of an open grave
s3 I'd receives the lcadcn messengers of
,,ath from smoking rifles in the hands
#t an unfortunate firing detail, who
ZIG afterward seen to perform the sad
S#utics of IL burial party.
fH 30, my innocent and civil brother,
zach conditions do not exist. nor have
ISsicy ever existed in this glorious coun-
8'y except in time of war, and even
E#icn in fragrant and desperate cases
S8nly Discard your gloomy thoughts
!5Snd learn that in these piping times of
@cace, when every little offensc and
~ inor breach OF discipline is invcsti-
lted by either summary, garrison,
g5F general court-martial. it is not an
2$incommon occurrence for the genius
k%f comedy TO enter the inquisitorlal
iamber.
FL who would think IL? Comedy parad-
f$E before II cOurt-nartial! Even SO.
M Irivatc Schultz Of Company 9Th
A&fantry, was arraigned to answer to
&c awful charge of Conduct to the
3rcjudice of good order ana military
IN scipline." This charge is one Of the
81 ereotypcd kind which, like charity,
#frvcs to cover multitude of sins. 1t
n ON fan &c
!aHld viii be found covering Il large Fer
IA ntagc of accusations against military
7Efcnde"s. When all other specific
&iarges covered by the articles Of war
s$sftil to meet the requirements of a case,
ae sombcr and wcll-worn blanket of
*3conduct TO the prejudice, etc. is
Saprcad over sheet of legal cap and
MIC cntiro omnibus hurled at the un.
fortunate offenders head.
# On behalf of Tic prosecution three
il itncsses were introduced who ,csti-
Ned in support of the hcinous offcnses
II llcGed to have been committed by the
T1risoner at the bar. So positive and
1&Snclusivc was the testimony of these
81 Illnesses that the judge advocate of
Nc court deemed it unnecessary to call
5%pon others who had been cited to ap-
Near. He rested the prosecution on
S$>c overwhelming evidence adduccd,
1t to give the trial the proper lcral
#avor ne asked:
~ Private Schultz, what have YOU to
#ffer in defensc?"
Rising slowly from his chair Private
schntc gulpcd down big lump of
3lome thing which had gathered in his
Ihroat-hc was an old hand at the bust
hess, having earned the sobriouct of
fhe guard-housc fawyer-and, raising
II pair of pleading eyes. the warrior
Epokc in trcmulous tones:
/ May it please the court, Private
Iiunn. my 'Dunky' la soldier bedfcllowl
Ir7as with inc on the day in question,
E!nd wish to introduce his testimony
E's to my sobriety nj that time. also
Slesirc TO testify in my own behalf.
Trhat is all have TO offer, and con
'iidentiy rely Gu the Justice of the
court"
Private Gum, who was in ,convcnicnt
waiting, was called. After being duly
sworn, according TO law, he testified to
the identity of Tie accused and stated
that on tho day in question lie was in
the company OF the prisoner, who he
alleged, was not intoxicated at any
time.
Considerably startled by such con-
flic:ing testimony, old Mai. Ball, the
president of the court, dropped the
news paper which he was reading,
other members Of the court nwol,c
from lethargy into which they had
pardonably fallen, the judge advocate
opened his eyes in mild establishment.
the prisoner smiled conplaccntly, and.
looking straight at Private Gum, who
was now the cynosure of all ewes. he
remarked: That's ali"
Glad enough to escape, Private Gum
turned to leave the room, but before
he could make his exit he was called
back by The president of the court.
DO you mean to positively assert"
asked that officer, that Private Schultz
was not intoxicated OH the day in oues-
tion?"
"Yis, sorr, that's what Oh do.D an.
swcrcd the witness, as he cast an az.
fectionatc glance ut his "bunlsy." "Oi
wuz wild him nearly all tn day an he
niver got full"
"Did you see him drink any liquor at
ALP"
We'll, some" responded the hes
.iVating Gum, but he WIZ niver
drunk"
How many times did you see him
drink?' interposed natty second lieu
tenant, whose curiosity was now OK
cited.
"Oh, jist few tonnes, sorr''
;. How many times do you consider a
few?' asked the officer.
Not many, sorr."
:. That's equivocation!" cried the lieu
IN dunno, sorr," responded Gum,
tbut hp y