St. Landry democrat., 1893-03-18
THE JOKERS BUDGET.
JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
The Force of Habit-How They Mar
ried-Rather Liked t--In Its Place,
Etc, Etc.
TIE FORCE OE HABIT.

HE foNt r OF HABll-
: On the day before the execution the
keeper informs a doomed man that a
visitor wishes to see him.
DO you know who he is?' asks the
doomed man.
"NOn
"Wcll, just ask him if he wants to
collect bill. and if he does, tell him to
call day after to morrow Texas
Sftinys.
cW THEY MARRIED.
Old Friend--Wcll declare, old boy,
your wife is fully as tall as you are.
Mr.. De Meek Tin whisper)-Y- -e-s, I
guess that's So
GLOW came you to marry such a big
woman?'
"Well-er-she didn't seem so big be
fore marriage. - New York Weekly.
RATHER LIKED 1T.
Aunty-Where are you going now,
pet?
Little Pet-Down to the dentists.
Dear me! Don't you hate it2"
| ''No'm. go twice week with the
govcrness. like it,"
''But doesn't the dentist hurt you?'
| "Nom. Tisn't my teeth he fixes, it's
the governcss's. s.'- Good News.
IN IT'S PLACE.
Jennie-1f he was pleased with the
embroidered footstool | gave him why
did he put it up on the mantel?
| Maud-Oh because that is where he
| always puts his feet, dear Inter
| Ocean.
FOND RECOLLECTION.
She-Iou haven't brought me box of
candy since we were married.
He-Yes, but think of the tons |
brought you before we were married.
SUGGESTION. !
Woman (on railway train Hush.
hush There. there Baby by,*'&~
don't know what in the world to do
sometimes. The more work with him
the worse he cries
Quiet Passenger (benevolcntly)-Hav
yOu-cr-cyer tried chloroform?-[N New
York Weekly.
A TENDER HEART
Little Johnny-I guess I'll get rid of
that dog found He's too much of a
fighter He's always hurtin' other dogs.
Fond Mothcr-My little cherub does
not like to see the poor dogs hurt, |
know.
Little Johnny Nom. cause some of
the other dogs is owned by bigger boys
than am.-[Good News.
HE CALLED NAMES
II won't play with Hal any MORE
pouted Mabel. ''lle called me Names
''What did he call you?'
Jimmie and Tommie," said Mabel.
lf1arper's BaZar.
IT LOOKED THAT WAY. ,
Wife Do you think Tommy djsturbs
cur neighbors with his drum? {
llusband-I am afraid So They made
him present of Il nice new kite to day.
Pcnclope-.Tack is a fool
Prr'lia-Then why are you going to t
marry him?
Prnclopc-To convince him that he is. |
VICTIMS OF THE ELEMENTS ,
owe have had stormy life" said the f
Jester to the King, with easy familiarity. q
How so3 t
"lours has been rcigny and mine i
windy"
Personal LIBERTY
"EyCusc me. sir; your ears are frozen. !
and thought I ought to tell you.'
''N ell sir Whv do yn,, int rfo +b l.,
my affairs: | always wear my ears fro
hen.'- LChicago News Record. y
Sure SIGN a
Clara-I am sure George loves me and +
will make me his wife, !
Jcnnie-Has he proposed? i
Clara-Hc has not exactly proposed, q
>ut know he is going to- There is one 9
hing that convinccs me of it. :,
Jcnnie-W What's that? h
Clara-His antipathy to dear mamma >
-ITexas Siftincs J.
sAMsoS's STRENGTH. ST
Little Dot-That is picture of Sam h y
on. Hasn't he awful long hair? =,
Little Dick-That's wot made him
trOnG.
Little Dot-Why? -
Little Dick-I don't know. but ruess o.
IS cause he never went to the barber ~
hop. Papa says BARRIERS talk folks half l.
o death. M IL.
"Oh, John, I've saved $500 out of what H
on gave me last year. Aren't you glad?"
nd an uptown housewife. ar
Eyes; very glad. | can cut YOUR al W;
'wance down $500 next year" replicd ic.
le unappreciatve husband Philadel- ws
hia Record. pc
WASN'T HE RIGHT? ~
"Did you enjoy yourself in the coun- tir
y, Johnny" Wa
''Iou bet. And the funniest thing seen ba
as the hired man unmilkin' the cows sn'
/ indianapolis Journal. ov
THE MYSTERY EXPLAINED. w
Mrs. Hayseed-Where did you learn be
at new piece? fo
Daughtcr-lt isn't new piece. The wa "a
ano has been tuned = Good News, exl
TENDER SPOUSE. sht
Wife-Hcre comes a friend of mine. ~
It's turn into this side street until she 'ei
sses
Husband-Quarrelled with her?
No, but don't want you to see her.
"Hum! Why not9' r
Il know you will admire that new the