The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1893-04-08
BoNY DIGGS' RECORD.


The express was bounding over tf
rails. Four men sat in the smokin
compartment OF drawipg-room ca
Enjoying their cigars with the cali
elaboration OF men who were .
habituated to being in q hurry tina
they were never hurried. That wa
not to be wondered at, for, they wer
newspaper reporters. One. rosy
checked. dark-eyed young Irishman
astired in a suit OF light tweed and
soft hat, was undoubtedly O'Connell
the representative OF the New Yorl
Mercury. The second, dark-skinnet
black haired fellow OF athletic build
dressed in q close-ftting black cut
away coat AMI derby hat, lookin,
like a reckless youth who would no,
mind falling overheard from steam
boat If good story was to be got out
OF it, surely was English, the ennis
sary OF the Globe. The third. the
| youngest, had il-ftting clothes, long
hair and eyeglasses. He looked MS il
he had recently graduated from a
western college and come to New
York to seek his fortune. There was
no mistakiDg the fact that he was
learning the business of journalism in
the city room OF the Protectionist.
His name was McVey. The fourth
man was the best dressed of,the little
company, and had an air OF self-con-
tent and experience which might have
led IN observer to take him for
more man of the world had it not
been for the distinctively literary
cast OF his forehead. He was, OF
course, Perry, the man from the Office
OF the Muewump. He was leaning
back with his eyes half closed listen
ing indolently to the remarks of his
fellow travellers.
TITS an era OF record breaking
said Perry in his judicial manner.
For my part tire OF it. From trot-
ting horses and ocean steamers down
to statesmen and pie eaters, every
one is trying to do a fraction better
than his predecessor. In nine cases
out OF ten no good comes out of it all.
/ sometimes think that Bony Digs
has more sense than some OF these fell
lows"
who's Bony Diegs when he's at
homei" demanded English.
II don't know; he's never at home"
"A man who's never at home must
be interesting" observed McVey; tell
us about him."
"Well, / don't know about doing
that!" replied Perry. "You see, it's
q very good story and at present it's
all mine. However, it's all in type,
today is Saturday, and it's coming
out tomorrow, SO If you three fellows
will give me your solemn promise not
to take advantage OF my confidence
In you-which you notice, is very great
IN tell you the yarn"
O'Connell, the Mercury man, look
Cd uncomfortable, but finding three
pairs OF eyes fixed upon him with
suspicious portent, joined with the
Globe and Protectionist men in CIV
ing the required assurance.
"The subject of our conversation q
few minutss ago." said Perry, was
record breaking. Now, the hero OF
my tale is not trying to beat any
record"
"what is ne trying to dor" inquir-
cd O'Connell.
ITO beat Death. His name is
Jerome Bonaparte Diggs. Why his
parents ever gave him such
q designation / am unable to con.
ceive. Perhaps they fancied that his
family name lacked style and i'm.
and they strove to
atone for this by introducing it with
royal given applications. Their in
tentions were frustrated early in
their sons life by the total deprav-
ity OF -schoolboys, for no sooner had
Jerome Bonaparte entered upon q
course OF abecedn rian instruction than
he was dubbed Bony Diggs.
Gas he grew older his loneliness for
ways of thought man.
iiestod itself more frequently and
more picturesquely., 1t is narrated
OF him that while i'll college he pur-
chased parrot and proceeded to
teach 1t the art OF speech himself. He
did not teach it English French, Ger
man, Latin, Gr;ek, Or Any other
known tongue, but invented half a
dozen sentences in q language OF his
own. When asked the design of this
curious education he replied that II
the bird should chance to get lost no
would now have NO difficulty in
it.
"Bony Digs father was q compare
lively wealthy man. He died soon
after his sigmoidal son had been
from college and had
entered upon his salad days, dressed
with an intellectual mayonnaise COM
posed OF wonderous ingredients. The
death of the father was speedily fol.
lowed by that Of the mother, and
Bony was lef. sole master OF his for
tune and his fate. This was % years |
ago. / am told that at that time
Bouy was tall, straight rea-
sonable-looking fellow, despite his
puxxlsd air. When last saw him ne
bad been engaged for Ave years in his |
attempt to beat Death around the
world; and then at the age OF 40 he
was q worn, bent, white-haired old
man. with nervous lips and hands,
The puzzled air more firmly fixed than
pyer on his features, and eyes in which |