Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-07-05
Sprink1es OF Spice.

IT sometimes helps us up IN the
world to fall in with the right man.
Dos ton Courier.
The professional baseball player
leads a hit or miss sort of an exist
ence.-Troy Press.
The enterprising dentist is never
appalled, at running against snag. =
Boston Transcript.
In the game of life it's the nom
paying tenant who gets the most
moves. Buffalo Courier.
SOME people imagine that they de-
serve a months rest every time they
do right. Galveston News.
"WRY do they call one-ho1se vii
lagos hamlets?" Because they are
SO melancholy. "-Harper's Bazaar.
IT is unquestionably true that some
Of the greatest diplomats Of the age
are lightning-rod agents. Detroit
Free Press.
The yeast calsc may be a conspicu-
Gus example of early rising, but it is
invariably followed by big loaf -
Lowell Courier.
The man who insists that his pas
tor must have more religion than he
is willing to have is not on his way to
| heaven Horn
THE man who never made a mis-
take in his line breaks his record
when he begins telling anyone about
it. -Somerville Journal
IT is all right for man to insist
on having his own way if he would
only take it and get a move on
cleveland Plain Dealer.
THAT boarder lacks feeling who in
the landlady's hearing begins to talk
Of the leather trust when the steak is
brought on.-Philadelphia Times.
"ONE of de penalties oh greatness"
said Uncle Eben, "is ter be specially
conspicuous ebry time yer makes er
fool OBJ yerself. Washington Star.
The summer girl may equally love
the mountain, the country or the
shore, but of all spots on this earth
she hate freckles most. -Philadelphia
Times
II is often saddening to note how
hard it is for some young men to keep
their seats on horseback and how
easy it is in a crowded car.-Wash-
ingtOn Star.
you are the first girl, Mabel, to
whom | have ever breathed a word Of
love-" "What were you afraid of with
the others? Breach of promise?"-
Brooklyn Life.
AUNT MARIA-And so when the
prodigal returned, his father killed
the fatted calf. Little Johnny-But
what had the calf been doing?-Bos-
ton Transcript.
FIGG-Do you believe in second
marriages? Fogg-Yes, for women.
A widow is perennial danger to So
ciety until she is married again.
Boston Transcript.
No MATTER how finely the display
window Of a store may be fitted up
the pretty young lady clerk will al
ways prove counter-attraction.-
Rochester Democrat.
AFTER an inexperienced man has
rowed boat for about three-Quarters
of an hour almost any kind Of scenery
is good enough for him TO stop and
admire. -Somerville Journal.
A DOCTOR who advertised himself
as graduate Of two German colleges
offers to attend patients at so cents
visit. He should do a fee-nOminal
business. Philadelphia Ledger,
odd you ever get back the UNI
brella you lent ROBINSON" %Yes."
"How?" Il borrowed it again."
From ROBINSON" mo, from the
man he lent it to. Albany Journal.
POLICE CoMNussIoNER-O Officer Mu-
larkey you are charged with being
asleep while on post and on duty.
Oficer-Not guilty, sir. I was off
post at the time-Raymond's Monthly.
BLoBBs-"Col. Bloodyfeld's old war
traits still cling to him." Slobbs-
"How SOP" Blobbs-"I dined with
him last night and he gave the
waiter no quarter. - Philadelphia
Record.
TUTTER-While I was fishing the
other day I saw two fish cOmeA4p and
bite at my hook at the same time.
Jagway-That's nothing. | came
home from the club the other night
in two cabs.-Life's Calendar.
Il FIND that Brother Linkun has
very liberal religious views" said the
new pastor to one of his dtacons.
eyes. replied the deacon; Brother
Linkum is more liberal in his views
than in his contributions. "-Earper's
Bazaar.
FOND Observation-Disclosures, you
are an angel" Pretty Wife-1 don't
want ever to be an angel Fond
Husband-"Why?" Pretty Wife
Because / have found that feathers
are not becoming to me. "-Rttsburg
Bulletin.
EDITOR is the sOdety re-
porter getting along at polite head
quarters?" City Editor-"Fist class.
He wrote up an inquest today and
gave the names Of the jurors a among
the most distinguished persos pres
ent Puck.