Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-30
POLITENEss IN ENGLAND.
How Americans and Others Are Snub-
bed-At Parties.

From Harper's Magazine.
II the Scotchman. who certainly seems re-
served enough in our eyes. is chilled by the
Englishman's manner, 1t is evident how
much more the American must suffer be-
fore he learns that there is something bet
ter to come and that the Englishmans man.
ner is his own misfortune and not his in
territorial fault The English say to this
when you know them we'll enough to com.
plain, that we are too sensitive" and that
we are too quick to take offense. 1t never
occurs to them that it may be that they are
too brusque. If you say, on mounting 4
coach, Il am afraid am one too many, ]
fear 1 am crowdng you ALL" you can count
upon their all answering, with perfect cheer
fulness, Yes, you are, but we didn't know
you were coming, and there is no help TO,
II" and it never occurs to them that that
is not, perhaps, the best way of putting II.
After bit you find out that they do not
mean to be rude or you learn to be rude
yourself and then you get on famously
have had Americans come into my rooms
in London with tears of indignation In their
eyes and tell Of the way they had been, as
they supposed, snubbel and insulted an6
neglected.
Why" they would ask, did they invite
me to their house If they meant to treat me
like that? l didn't ask them to. l didn't
force myself on them. 1 only wanted a wore
now and then, just to make me feel 1 was q
human being. If they had only asked me
when are you going away2 It would have
been something, but to leave me standine
around in corners and to go through whole
dinners without as much as a word without
introducing me to any one or recognizing
my existence. Why did they ask me- IL they
only meant to insult me when they got me
there? Is that English hospitality"
And the next day l would meet the people
with whom he had been staying and they
would say: I'VE have had such a nice com.
patriot OF yours with us; such a well-in.
formed young man; hope he will stop with
us for the shooting" AS far as they knew
they had done all that civility required. ali
they would have given their neighbors OF
have expected from their own people. But
they did not know that we are not used tc
being walked over roughshod; that we af.
feet interest even II we do not feel It, and
that we tell social f1bs IL 1t is going tc
make some one else feel more comfortable
1t is as II the American had boxed with
gloves all his life and then met a man who
struck with his bare fists and it naturally
hurts. And the most pathetic part of the
whole thing is that they do not know how
much better than their own the breeding OF
the American really is. 1t Is like the line
in the international Episode where the
American woman points out to her friend
that their English visitors not only dress
badly, but SO badly that they will not ap-
preciate how we'll dressed the Americans
are.
l have seen a whole roomful Of English.
men sit still when a woman came into her
own drawing room, and then look compass.
sionately at the Americans present because
they stood up. They probably thought we
were following out the rules of some book
on etiquette and could not know that we
were simply more comfortable standing
when a woman was standing than we would
have been sitting down. And it will not dc
to say in reply to this that these English.
men of whom i speak were not OF the bet.
ter sort, and that should not judge by the
middle class. l am not writing of the mid
die classes. TT was the best butter" as
the March hare says.