St. Landry democrat., 1893-10-07

! A Purely Human Envy-PilIs
Required Herc-A Sisterly Plea,
etc, etc.
A PURELY HUMAN VICE.
"What Il tumbe-down chimney that
Is! What is the matter with it?1
II have Il notion it smokes too much"
i IIarper's Bazaar.
Shc.-Whcn | told Maud about our
engagement she said that she really en-
We'd me.
He-Certainly; / don't wonder.
Shelves; she said she would give
anything if she could be so easily suited
as was. i indianapolis Journal.
PILLS REQUIRED HERE.
81 do not see why you should cavil at
your husband; his heart is all right"
''Oh, yes, his heart is all right but
do wish his liver were in better condi
ton New York Press.
A sIsrERLY PLEA
Maudc-I saw Hattie embracing jim
the other evening"
Clara-Well, they are engaged, and in
sailing down LIES stream why should
not young woman hug the sure if she
wishes to 2 Boston Transcript
HARDLY AN EQUAL DIVISION.
"Who is to perform the marriage cerc-
mony for Miss Vyne and Mr. EIum?'
''The young Rev. DR.. NeWcome, of
course. Who else2'
"Of course-of course. He always
gets the marrying jobs. | think it's
shame that good Pastor Millsap, who was
here twenty years before that young man
came, is always forgotten when there is
an affair of this kind
''Why, Brother Millsap can't complain.
He always gets the funerals. -lChicago
Tribune.
FAR FROM IT.
III all human beings looked like
these,' said the elderly, chin whiskercd |
stranger, gazing mournfully at the dane
ing Dahomey villagers, life would look
mighty blue Cor me-
You are Il phrenologist, perh APPS"
hazarded the young man in the straw
hat.
"Thunder. no! I'm a corn doctor. -
tChicago Tribune.
PLAYING IT ON PAPA.
Small Ethel-Papa, would YOU say II
an she" or II am herr"
Papa-I should say Il am She" of
course.
Ethel thought you might say II am
ne. - Indianapolis Journal
A LAST RESORT.
Patron-Do you intend to teach YOUR
10y trade!
Journeyman-No, he's too lazy and
rood for nothin' to make a lvin' at any
rade ever heard Of Guess I'll have
o let him adopt some profession. - Good ,
News
THE MECCA NOW.
Old Man-Where are YOU going now2
Young Man-Going West to grow I'D
With the Worlds Fair Good News,
FRIENDS ADVICE.
Bikins-That boy of mine has such an q
gly temper, hate to buy him pony. d
Wllklns-Then don't do it. Get him 5
sail boat. I
Bilkins But if he should get mad at
he sail boat, and lose his self-control y
ed upset.
Wilkins Yes, but you'd still have II
he sail boat. - Good News. 6
MORE IMPORTANT. C
Mrs. Blank-You were very late at a
lie club last night. The day actually q
rohc before you got home. =,
Mr.. Biauk-But | was broke long be- ~
re the day Boston Transcript 81 81
REASON ENOUGH. q
he girl refused him fatty, not alone =,
Because he was (alas, that truth should ~
pain SOL
youth to fortune and to fame I'M ~ ~
known, ~
But more than likely, to remain so. II
- Puck. az
He LAY IN WAIT FOR HIM. sa
The piano tuner was coming gayly up ~ ~
e alley when he was accosted 6y a Nv
ern visagcd man who inquired A,
Say, mister, what dyer charge for a.,
ming piano?' rn
"Three dollars.' h he
Heres three fifty; just trot to the U Ur
Xt street, IT
"What's the NATTER" Va
1.-THE piano next door is out of tune ~. ~
d they don't play on it now. THEY'RE W. W.
Iiting for you to come round. That ~, ba'
rec fifty is for you not to 90 round" , &c,
The piano tuner whisted and walked ="
fly away, and there is silence still in 20,
? alley New York Press. so ol
CIRCUMSTANCES ALTER MEANINGS. to
That's too FORTE" said the music
cher to his pupil. ,u,,
what do you mean by too forte2' W. WI
'ed the latter, as he stopped playing. eve w
TOO Loud I've e,
oh, thought two-forty meant too t ne
t. '-[Truth, va, LA
THE WIND OF DESTINY. sid
'osom Friend - Proposed to Littv Wv
1sby? You surprise mel thought
were in love with Zurilda Nc
mis-.
'ickaby-i was but had to propose l.!
letter, and didn't know how to make ms
II Chicago Tribune. Ere