Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-09-30

ing summer lived through the full height and depth of my nature. The action and passion of a lifetime were con in that little space. The torch famed up royalty for moment. but now it fickers, and perhaps it will die out. Indeed l feel an indifference stealing over me. Few terrors and few joys could quicken my pulses now. have made trial of myself, and the result is not very satisfactory.
 thought had in mo the making of q great man, but great man is great for a lifetime, not merely Cor an hour. l have cleared my way and am ready to begin my career, but now that all else is won the enterprise is lacking. Some men, it would seem, are mocked in their very creation. They feel within them the stirrings of what seems to be mighty soul They follow its dictates, and. behold! all that fine flame exhales away and leaves nothing but dust and ashes. It was but the specter of mighty soul-a will-o -the-wisp that tempts them to destruction.
 Yet there is one thing that can re- animate me and perhaps stimulate me to fulfill the destiny had imagined. If Sinfire gives herself to me, am happy, am in heaven, and the powers of hell shall not prevail against me. She is my ifeblood and the breath of my nostrils. Who she is, whence she comes and for what end know not, but she has made herself my earth and my heaven, my space, my fate. Will she vanish as she cameP The sun sets and darkness falls, but anon the east is afire, and he comes again. But upon the night of her depar ture-if she depart-no dawn will ever rise.
 cannot feel any confidence or securi- ty. She seems when fix my thoughts upon her to be far off and still receding. am crushed down by some nameleSs oppression of evil visions The ghosts of my dead brothers seem to be lying in wait for me in the gloom. But Sintire can rescue me: her soft white hand can savo me. She is my god; l can look to no other. But if she fails me, what thenf
 Well, there is still Saprani.
 
 This little blank book-now no longer blank-which picked up in an idle mo- ment and resolved to make journal of, has but few pages left, and when it is uIllSucu l Sildll uOL btSlu diOlIltE. NO does the Creator of men pick up the white leaf of their ignorant souls and trace black marks upon it and then fling it aside. But who reads them? Angels, perhaps, and sigh at what they read, and devils read them and tear them to pieces and laugh. But no soul inter prcts its fellow soul; it cannot even in terpret itself:i it knows that it is no longer white, and that is all.
 Sinfre has been with me, and now am alone again. My library is cool and quiet, and the lamplight shines upon the backs of the books upon the shelves, and wonder the door opens into the labora- tory. which is dark, and in these rooms my days and years have been spent, but not my life-that has been lived else where. Is it immortal? It may be so, but what is immortality to me? Will it give me Sinfre?
 All the obstacles that separated us have disappeared" said to her. One after another they are gone. If there is any other thing to keep us apart, it must be in you and nowhere else, You know why l took that sin upon myself. Do you forgive it."
 What sin?" she asked.
 Perjury"
 Oh, that"
 Did you wish to die under false ac- cusation:" said I.
 How do you know it was false:" she returned.
 At any rate. know it"
 Perhaps, then" she said, ''I may have wished to save the one who was really guilty. Why should l so greatly care to live? The man who had given my life its object was gone. What had l to wait for"
 Then you loved him still?" I ex- claimed.
 She gave me strange look. Loved him still! I never loved him. From the time first heard his name l hated him.
 Surely you did love him once, only too well!"
 Have you thought so ill of mo as that" sho replied, smiling d moment. Il might have expected it of the judge and jury, but supposed your eyes were keener. If l were a man, l would believe in miracle sooner than in the dishonor of the woman l loved. No. you are wrong. never saw Henry Mainwaring till met him here"
 Then why was he your enemy" dc manded in astonishment.
 After pause she said: II will tell you little story which will perhaps helr you to understand it. \ good many years ago T gentleman who had wife and little daughter saw another wom. an who was young and wonderfully beautiful. A man may love as many ha v,1a l,,,t ha 1,,-i,, honor to only one at most. To all the rest his love means disgrace.
 This other woman returned his love knowing no harm, and she belonged tc a people who have no social rights, and who understand love and hate and joy and grief. but not the niceties of the law. After a time they, too, had little daughter. But after year or two the mother learned that though she was 6 mother she was not wife. And sht died, but sent the child to him. By and by the mans wife died also, and he wa: left with his two daughters. He educated them both, but he gave the elder prece dence over the younger, who, knowing neither whence she came nor that hel companion was her sister, accepted hel position willingly and joyfully, us wa: her nature.
 ''So they grew up together and loved you see that she dies in decent circun- stances? It would not be too exacting a recompense for having taken from her her three sons and the estate of Cedar cliffe."
 She looked at me long time. do not know what she sought or what she found. But all passion and suffering had burned themselves out in me. l stood there wishing that she would go and leave me ill peace. knew that she had never been more beautiful, but her beauty could not impress or interest me. I looked upon it as internationally as an