The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-02-19
How MANAGE A WIFE.
Or. Deems Said "You Don't Manage
! Wife" When He Was
Asked.
sAoWevor, Interest In the Question
10 al Wide as Marriage
Itself.
~Eolonnon, Renouned for Wisdom, Never
Discovered the Secret and His Wives
Managed Him.


AZ : good many Of our young reader
have been married during the last twslvt
monshs. and o still larger number hope Il
be In tbs next twelve, We trust that III.
subject We have chosen for this morning.
meditation may prove interesting TO them
says The Charleston g. o. News ans
Courier. II IL related that a young mar
Who WAS about to be married recently
called on Rev. DR.. Deems, of New York.
and requested his advice as to the best
method Of managing . wife. 'You manage
= horse, air!!" the doctor replied indig-
nantly. ''bnt you do not manaR a wife"
A. the good doctor is somewhat Of . hum
oriat he doubtless added, mentally.
''though they often mansRe u.s."
We are not informed whether the in
quisitivs youth skunk away abashsd or re-
NAMED to pat his question In some less
offensive form. II he pursued tho latter
course We would be glad to hear what sd-
vice he received from the reverend gentle
man, whose opinion on any subject is we'll
worth attention. Interest In this subject 10
by no means confined to the newly married,
however. Even though We be about to
celebrate our silver wedding, or have long
since done so. it is probable We might
gather . few hints from the doctors talk
with his young friend, since it 10 very sure
that NO man ever succeeded in answering
that question to himself in a perfectly sat-
isfactory name.
From time immemorial the problem Of
hoW IN mannuo = uvifo hau haou = uoaAA>p of
anxious thought with husbands Of every
land and aRe, and we have yet TO hear Of
q that made a complete success Of It.
Blusbesrd. who is generally held up % an
example of f~erooity and stsrnneas. i'm
aRined he had solved the difficulty when he
cut off the heads OF his various wives and
hung them in his closet; but that was only
. brief triumph OF brute strength over
Fatima. his tenth or twelfth bride. . wife
who was more than . match for him.
Mythology assures US that even the gods
themselves. with all their supposed
wisdom, were quite as powsrless as mortals
when it came to this matter. Despite
Jove's frowns and ever-resdy thunderbolts,
he made bat a sorry figure in his efforts to
manage Juno. and whenever he was par
ticularly anxious to gain his point IL was
necessary for him to resort to some crafty
means of coercing or deoeivinR her. Where
he failed it would have been presumptuous
more fortunate. and SO Clytsmnsstra.
Helen, Penelope and the rest Of the Gre
clan wives followed their own sweet Wills
and kept their husbands in hot water con-
tinuallY.
II We turn from fiction TO reality We are
forced to conclude that tho early writer's
were drawing upon their OWE experience of
human nature in depicting the lives Of their
heroes and heroiAes. This inability to
manage their wives has been inherited BY
men through hundreds of generations. The
very frat husband On record made a miser-
able failure in his attempt to govern Eve,
and ended, as his eountlsss descendants
have always done, BY allowing Mrs.. Adam to
twist him around her little finger with disas-
trouG consequence to them both. Abraham,
Isaac and Jacob were all notably incapable
OF rolling their households, and II their kins-
man Lot had had his wife In better training
he never would have allowed her to look
back at sodom. But it il useless to ena-
merate any more especial cases when We
remember that Solomon. 10 renowned for
his wisdom in everything else, never dis
covered the secret Of how to manage his
m%ultitudinous wives, but allowed them ia
lead him into all manner of hsresy and
achism. And as it was in the days of Solo
mon SO it has been without exception ever
since. until it has ended in mon universally
acknowledging this weakness and always
speaking respectfully of their wives as
my better half" And the fact Of their
subsection 30 home rule has embodied it.
self in many a homely provsrb Synonymous
with the gray mare being the better
horse"
IL 10 very amusing to any one who IL "a
miliar with the ways of the world to hear
how particular some young men are that
their bride should pronounce distinctly the
word "obey" of the marriage service. We
even known ministers when they had
not heard it clearly OF had suspicion
that the lady was Intentionally evading the
obnoxious word. pause and repeat IL sig
pifcantly. Alas, how vain are ell such az
tempts to change the course Of nature! As
veil one might try to stop a crevssss ON the
Mississippi with a single sod as to oppose a
little word like that to the course of a wo-
mans will. And that man makes a fatal
mistake at the very outset of his married
life who allows his wife to perceive that he
is more anxious that she should ''obsy'
him than about her loving and honorine
him. To realize this is enough to arouse
all the opposition In her nature, and he NAV
be very certain that whsthe, she said
'"obey" or not she has not the slightest idea
doing it unless it suits her pleasure COCA
slonally. Should any yenturesome youth,
outside of North Carolina. think to play
to his wife's Katherine. he il
dioIc iAhcly w lhuO III d Ulv0FC0 court thAD
to induce her to say with the latter:
] am ashamed that women are 80 simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace:
Ut seek for rule. supremacy and sway
When they are bound to serve, love and obey.
From all this it would seem then tb al
she best way to manage Il wife is to let her
manage you; she is bound to do SO whether
you like 1t or not. Or if you are a domestic
you may possibly succeed in
her into the belief that she ia do
as she likes, when in truth she ia obey
your uneXpressed will. This policy is
30 difficult, however, and requires such con
Iummate tact and eternal vigilance. that it
Is perhaps easier to submit to mans oom-
mon lot and do as your wife wills.
Disease marches through all lands. hut good
Aealth blesses all who use Hoods sarsapariila,
VIII Woman Lose Her Hair?
If the unsatisfactory statistics that | have
able to collect can be relied on, tbs
of badness in bows and girls