The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-04-25
MANY MILKMAIDS IN A ROW.
A Unique and Amusing Enter
taiument at the
I'M. "A.

"Y's" Thursday was unique and
successful. The audience as
sembled at the Y. NJ. c. A. Hall
was not as large as it would have
been had people had the least idea
what a pretty array of non-profes-
sional milkmaids had taken pos
session of the staid building. They
were assembled in one of the rooms
downstairs, where they were pre-
sumably occupied in putting a
final polish on their tin pals, be-
fore marching upstairs two by two
and taking possession of the plat
form.
Each young lady was armed
with a brand new shining tin pail
NOT one of which had ever come
in contact with a drop of milk
and stool. Of the latter some
had seen use. The costumes were
those of the traditional milkmaid
of the generation which knows not
the COW, and were, like the maids
themselves, as pretty as pretty
could be.
The Dairy Maids Convention
opened with the singing of a chorus,
the milking stools being used to
mark the time, after which the
chairmaid, Mrs. Jordan, made a
speech which was an eloquent vim
dication of the cow-dignity and
Importance illustrated with an ar
ray of arguments and presidents
from history, nature and grace, and
spiced with an unsuitable number
of puns. Indeed the whole even
ing was ruled by the baleful star
of the pun, and the equivocal allu-
sions to cream, milk and COWS were
as numerous as the resources ofthe
language would permit.
The secretary called the roll, and
the names on it were a potpourri
of about everything in the universe,
the accessories of the dairy of
course predominating. After the
roll call the conflicting claims of
two rival delegates were summarily
disposed of by the president. A
telegraph boy then interrupted the
proceedings with dispatch
from Mrs. Cleveland expressing her
regret at an enforced absence and
urging the maids to hold their next
seance in Washington. An ad-
dress of welcome from Miss Dexter
and reply from Miss Patty contrib
uted to the humor of the occasion,
which was heightened by the di-
verting election of officers which
followed. A second message, from |
Claus Spreckels this time, an
nounced his intention to spend |
100000 in the endowment of a
hospital for superanuated milk |
maids and invalid cows. This an
nouncement was heralded with
great satisfaction by the young |
and blooming maids present who
Immediately voted to devote $50 |
of the sum named to the purchase
of chocolate creams and peanuts
.delicacies which they failed, |
however, to divide with the audi
ence.
One at least of these maids is
endowed with a wit which is not
without a bite. Presenting a re-
port on the progress of the society
she said that SO many young men
had been admitted to honorary
membership that most of the milk
maids had withdrawn their atten-
ton from the proper subject-cows,
to the study of calves" The juv-
emile males among the audience re-
ceived this gentle pleasantly in
severe silence.
The presentation ofreports, which
was one of the leading features of
he evening, led to some friction
among the rival delegates, and 1
regret to chronicle the fact that the
Convention finally broke up in a
row."
Two songs, from Miss Rhodes and
Miss Debby Lyle, lent a further ele-
nent of variety to the evenings
On the whole, the entertainment
vas original in conception and
successful in execution. The
speeches, dialogue and reports were
ull of fun and many of the hits