Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-11-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Ruled off-Ledgers.


A tweed garment-A sac coat.
sect off the earth, r" the cyclone said
to the barn.
A nervous atfection-A man Oh the
eve of proposal
The crawtish is not very good to
cat, but it will do at pinch. Truth.
One characteristic of good old Elijah
was his raven n-ous appetite. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
London's constant fog may be
caused by the continuous reign -
Dallas News.
The fine wheat will insure the farmer
and the English sparrow full crops.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
People who are always schcmine
generally pay about double for what
they get. Milwaukee Journal.
When man is dressed in little
brief authority, he makes it more con.
spicuous than red neck tie. Puck.
SO far no one has ever made the
blunder of painting Cupid to look as
if he had any sense. -Atchison Globe.
''Why does Snagsby keep his hair
cut so short?" Because he's getting
bald, and he won't have it long. =
Philadelphia Record.
''He says he owes You lickins
docs he? Well, you'll never get it. y
"How do you know?" 'I'm his
tailor Chicago Tribune.
gIIIn,. - VOW, ,,o,,1o.4 ,->,,.s ,No-
isn't hep Modest as a burglar he
doesn't even want the credit of his
own work. = Philadelphia Record.
An enterprising hosier has an
nounccd new button, which he calls
The Old Maids Wedding. Why? Be
cause it never comes off. Tit Bits.
The coalman's season may be the
winter, the summer the icemaps harv'
est, so that it's possible the milkmap
finds his greatest profit in the spring.
Shall l from her sweet spell depart,
Or take her for better or worsey
The choice is will she break my heart,
Or shall she break my purse? ~
Puck.
Demonstration in Natural Silence
Gentlemen, | hold i'll my hand three
shells" Voice (from amphitheatre)-
"It isn't under any OF them. y. Detroit
Free Press. ~
Watts-''l wonder how tifis world
will get along when you and, | have
left it?' Potts-''You'd better be
wondering how we'll get along ?'--ln
dianapolis Journal. '"'
Pipkin--" Does your wif4' know
anything about cook;ng?" ,Potts-'1
guess she does; you can't yet .her into
any of your cheap restaurants - Kate
Fields Washington. D."
"Hello, Bingley. how did tile doctor
succeed III breaking up yaarf feverT
"Oh, easy enough he presented his
bill, and l had chill in fifteen min
utes. Chicago Inter ocean.
Can get this note ishdVcd?" he
timid.y asked the mohoylle lender
Gracious - calculated the broker. rs
he glanced at the date, ''itAbld enough
to need ii Atlanta Constitn'ion.
Unless old words can he exchanged
for the new ones that are being rapidly
coined, English dictionaries Viii soon
nave No ne taken tp a fpltNf tth lftss
TO he rendered portable, 'itallfs News.
Applicant for Work rr 'Bu:t the oc.
cupatiou seems to he dangtrops Que.
Manager "Yos; hut then IN tasc YOU
are killed the company Sbuid send
flowers to your funeral. 7 =, Bostop
Transcript, ,.,,f
Richard When my wife agreed to
share her lot with me | Ndn't know
there vas mortgage Oh it."' Harry
"a mortgage Ric-hardi. Her
mother, found. went with the lot. ~
Boston Transcript
\ fellow ia Smithyille who ceuldnt
spare - year for q Nslaper sent
atty tw0'cent stamps to = ,dowH-east
Yankee 60 know how &, faiss heets
Ito got au answer. "pakA ihtls - thu
oops ami pull for AL yo,l aFs'NAasih, ~
1swesp i,mos. .,t.t...,.4t
uh. the gold h roli,us iu
trnn beyond the hFsnS f.fas
Milton rallus "a .ga,gl Agssi
i.ILsing us luah ial esss
Miii0rs mors afa ~ tka s4tsl
NH'hng nnNari tn thts goat
40 as wc are nona =, husk
hnr woil iurt ei hyEfYliss
khu,as fsff = afual