davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
HUMO OROuS.

--Ledy-'T don't exactly like the
frieze in this room: it" Landlady-
'Mercy, the heat isn't turned on fall
yet."-Inter-Ocean.
He (about TO otravel)-''Do you real.
" want me to come back sorny' She
| "Well, perhaps you had better. You
sec, have promised not to forget you"
Absence Of Mind-Miss van Wou-
YER (benevolently)-"I haven't . cent
| Of change, my poor man. I am %
sorry! Could you change Avs-dollar
billr'-Judge.
Mother quitting the boy ont Of the
pantry)-"How many more times will
have to tell you to keep out Of that
preserve jar?' Small Boy (sobbing)-
mo more. mamma They're al gone!'
"A Had Diet-MrA Giddy to her
physician. who has recommended rest)
|-"But, you know, doctor. that variety
ID the spice Of life" DR.. BluR-'.Nsy-
be, madam; but people can't subsist On
seasoningA@Truth.
-Harry-"Dariingi I love you"
DsrlinR-"Yes. know IT, Harry; bat
l was in hopes you'd have some news
to tell me tonight haven't seen .
soul to-day. and I'm just dying for
newA"-Boston Transcript :
-Lexicographers Please Nots. -
Whipple-''Can you tell me just what
. variety actress" is supposed TO DOR
Snapper-'I think BY that name one
usually refers TO . person whose acting
varies between bad and worse."-Puck.
Elder Berry, had . long talk TO.
day with . pickpoclet He said he
would reform . little later, bat couldn't
think Of it Just now" Mrs. Berry
''What n he waiting for n0w?" Elder
Berry-"For chatelaine watches TO 10
out"
Something in Name.-Little VIII
lie-"Say. honest, are you . mulstto4"
Crosshatch (the artist)-'sNo. indeed
What gave you that ideaT' ''Why, Sic
said you WAS one Of the best-knowu
black-and-white men in the country,-
Truth.
lyon were cones good while, said
the invalid to her husband, who had
been TO the drug store; 1T must have
taken the clerk good while 70 put up
the prescription?" II don't know:
think he must have spent . good deal
Of the time putting up the price."-
Warrington Star.
~ don't know what has come over
our SON since be went 70 work In .
shoestore," said Mrs. BlagRinA HE
was looking at . ealendar and he spoke
Of the figure t6' - = and - - - His
mind must Be going" 'Oh." replied
her husband. ''that's al right Thev
have put him 70 work selling shoes TO
the lady customerR" Washin1tou
Star.
An Afterthought-Before bidding
her good night he begged 70 be Per.
mitted to kias her. 'sOb, no." che seid.
II could not permit such thing. BE-
sides. somebody might see NJ. That's
true" he said. There was . pauee.
after which she said. with . li9ht
laugh: ''Ilow quiet It ID here. There
appears 70 be nobody shout A"-N. Z.
PfeaA
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
READING IN ICELAND.
Culture ~ II Exists Away Up Toward the
North Pole.

Culture ~ II Exists Away Up Toward the
North Pole.
w. E. Mead, in his paper ON Books
and Reading in Iceland" thus speaks
Of the universally Of the reading habit
in that far-away island:
Zone naturally expects the clergy to
be more or less educated and 70 have
books rs . necessary accompaniment,
but one hardly dares to expect much OF
the ordinary farmers Of 90 poor q land
Is Iceland; yet in spite Of all draw
backs the Icelsndic farmer manages to
have ut least = few books. and some
times remarkable number.
'On my trip to Hecla and Krisuvik I
omitted NO opportunity Of looking over
the books in the farmhouses Some
times found nothing but the Bible
and the psalmbook. or an old trca tise on
farming. or some practical religious
work, put u little inquiry usually
brought out . few volumes of the old
saga& At . farmhouse almost under
the shadow Of Hccla I found on the
chest Of drawers in my bedroom, sew
eral schoolbooks-one for learning
Danish-a volume of tales, and the
usual psalmbook. Against the wall
hung . portfolio partly filed with Ice
landic newspapers.
THE members Of the family appeared
to be very intelligent and by no means
to have limited their reading to the
few books in sight. A day or two later
we were at Skumstathir, on the south.
ern coast As we had just come from
some of the places most famous in Ice
landic story. asked our host IL he had
. copy OF the Njalssaga. He was tall.
man Of over sixty,
with . strong face. . mighty. hawk.
like nose, . little fringe Of beard under
his chin, and sharp. penetrating eyes
He thought there was . copy In the
house and returned with . well.worn
volume published in Copenhagen in
l77e, having . part Of the title page
printed in vermilion. Other books were
lying about the room. A bunch of news
papers published At Reykjavik hung
against the wall. and the first number |
,f . religious newspaper was handed |
lbout ss specimen copy.
Books turn mp in unexpected cornerA
While we waited for the wind to sub.
,ide, 90 that our horses could safely
swim the Olfusa, we stayed at the house |
# the ferryman. He opened bottle Of |
,ort wine for rs; and when asked for
book to while away the time he
brought . small armful for me to
hoooe from.-Atlantic.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

John Ireland, who may succeed
Gov. Hogg Of Texas. in case the latter
, should 60 to the senate two years
hence, IL the man who WAS afraid that
immigration TO Texas would become 50
great as to elbow the old settlers into
! the sea.
-Ex-Gov. Robert L. Tsylcr Of Ten
nessee il something of . philosopher.
When asked about his defeat for the
United States senatorship BY Gen. Rate
he said: II will not cry over split milk
nor quarrel with the cow that kicked
! over the pail But I shall always BE-
lieve that the pail ought not TO have
been kicked over"
-Ex-President Hayes invented IN i'm
genions method of shaking hands with
crowd. He once made . short speech
to 10000 people in Columbus. regretting
that he could not shake hands with
everyone present. BRIT I have plan"
said Hayes ''I'll hold mp my hand. and
when shake everyone shake" He did
it, and il seemed as though 10. 900 hands
went MP.
Mrs Jane G. Austin. the novelist,
spends her winters In Boston. Her
health il not robust, but she contrives
to accomplish . good amount Of lit
er1ry work. She has . genial, kindly
face, an abundance Of white hair. and
she generally dresses in black. "a
Nameless Nobleman" was the frat book
written by Mira Austin, and contained
the story Of her great grandfathers
life.
The Countess Louise Cianciana, Il
is stated. now sells matches on the
steps of the palace of Monte Citorio.
where tho Italian legislature meets. .
body over which her husband presided
as speaker some years ago. The count
was also one of Garibaldi's most distin-
guished associates. mayor Of Rome, ETC.,
all of which IN duly set forth upon .
placard which the countess wears hung
around her neck while having matches
for salo
There will be . worlds parliament
Of religions at the Worlds fair. begin
ming September II. Preceding this will
be . Catholic congress, which will b.
gin September S, and contemporsneous
with it Protestant denominstionalc con-
gressea Among the speakers will be
Mozoomdar, representing progressive
Hinduism, and . scholar appointed by
tho Chinese government TO represent
Confucianism. Let all the religious
world unite on al that II best for the
purpose and press Il for all that il h
worth.-N. Y. Herald.
Mrs Frances Hodgson Burnetrs
newest book, which is. indeed. . book
let Of eighty pages about Tho Drury
Lane Boys Club" Of London. bears the
interesting inscription: Copyright By
Vivian Burnett" and h printed st the
press Of The Moon. MrA Burnett ex.
plains that her new publisher In . re-
lation by marriage. and that the son
Vivian, who II but lad. publishes .
little paper. which II called The Moon,
rs . less ambitious title than The
World. The Sun or The Star. Mira Bur.
nett adds to her reputation q . woman
Of great literary genius the still moro
fame Of wise and devoted
mother.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06

Two Women, Not Troubled with Homes
seruples. Pick Up Purse.
1t was . red purse that was chose
to test the honesty of the average won
en-a :small. red purse with nicke
clasps-one that looked as il il had see
better days. In it were placed som
keys that had outlived their usefulness
an outlawed Turkish bath ticket, Ii,
tie brass ring that looked like gold
thirty.five cents in change. and. no
least in importance, q card with tn
name and address Of the owner plainl,
engraved upon it
1t was dropped with studied careless
ness just where the crowd Of shopper
was the thickest in one of the bi,
downtown stores, and the young wo
man who was engaged in laying snare
for the tripping feet of her sister
passed to an adjoining counter to lool
As little like y villain Is her scarce
conscience would permit and to avail
Developments
They came sooner than she had ex
pected. A child's bright eyes had seer
the pocketbook drop and . piping voics
announced: you've lost your money
purse. lady," before sufficient time had
elapsed to make the traditional ex
clamation concerning one Jack Robin
son!
There was nothing to do but to take
the little red object graciously from the
small fingers and to try catching con.
sciences in some other part Of the shop.
This time the experiment was more
successful-far too successful. in fact.
Two well-dressed women, evidently
friends. who stood near the place where
the spurse fell. discovered Il almost
simultaneously. One of them-she of
the big-plumed hat and triple, fur
hordercd cape-picked it up and turned
to the other. who was more sobcrlv at-
tired in blue serge and q small blue
toque trimmed with mink and blue
quilla
wonder what's in it?" she said, re.
garding the modest affair curiously.
open it and see" her friend sug
gested promptly.
And so the clasp was turned and the
poor contents revealed to two pairs of
eyes The ring was regarded
with some interests, the bath ticket
subjected to a searching examination,
but 1t was evident that the smallness
,f the find did not recommend it to the
consideration of the women
nto whose hands it had fallen.
''Only thirty.five cents!" exclaimed
,ae, disgustedly.
There's . card with the address,"
the rOther, who seemed to
'avc mild prornptings toward honesty.
"Yes, but who's going to race ones
eet of for a little bit of money like
hat?' snapped the owner of the big
rat people that ere 50 careless ought
o be taught o lesson. Come along:
veil 60 and get some hot chocolate
With the quarter"
II her friend had an scruples they
scre young and tender and easily
trangled, for she made no verbal pro-
est. but followed in the wake of the
'older Of the purse with seeming satis-
action.
And the reporter sauntered carelessly
fter them, watched them enter a we'll.
nown confectioncr's, and, horrified and
ismayed that such q thing could be,
aw them pay for the check that the
0urteous saleswoman handed them ont
{ the little red purse itself.
Then she went away and wept for
he moral terpitude of her own SEX
hicaGo Tribune,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
Essllv Explsiusdl.

Miss Lakebree9e-I wonder why us
Chicago girls are usually shorter than
You eastern girls?
Miss SYSTEMATICALLY it is because
you are turned over . good deal more
ct the feet-National Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06

Prof Do 6cisnce-Ststistics show that
men are grossing shorter and women
are growing taller.
Lady-Not unlikely. don't know Of
anything thaf has such stretchy effect
as hanging onto street-car strsps-N.
Y. Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
The Only One.

what an atrocious prevaricator that
boy of Jennings, the novelist, is:.'
YES That lad is the only imagina-
tive work Jennings has produced. -
Judge.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06

-Optim-"America is good enough
for me--a country where every right il
given to the meanest citizen" Pessim
Yes. indeed. The meaner he is the
more he makea Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
4 BOHEMIAN LIGHTNiN0.ROD

! How the Que lnvented By Divis Was Coo.
structed.
The lightning-rod of Divis was con.
structed as follows:
A pointed, slender iron bar formed
the main part Of the machine. Fast
ened to it were two cross-bars, thus
making four arms. across each of which,
| In turn. shorter bar was laid. And
each Of the twelve cxtrcmitics 20 ef.
fected bore . box filled with shavin9s
of iron In which twenty-seven brass
needles were stuck, making three
hundred AMI twenty-four needles in
all. The main bar was supported by .
wooden column Sufficiently high forty
eight feet ut first. afterward one hum
dred and thirty-two feet) to secure
protection for the building and it, inn
mediate surroundings. Several iron
chains connected the main bar with
the earth. The effect of the machine
was to divide the lightning into a.
many sparks - there were needles
three hundred and twenty-four). and
thus lessen its force. It might, there
fore, more properly be called Q light
ning-divisor.
Scarcely had tho rod been erected
when storm came rushing on from
the north. Thunder-clouds hung over
Prendice. and occasionally white shafts
OF lightning were seen darting from
the clouds and flying toward the con-
ductor. In . few minutes a white
cloud cnvelopcd the machine, and the
storA soon passed away without doing
any damage. For two years Divis con-
tinued experimenting with his light
ning-rod: the results were published BY
DIR. Scrinc: in the Prague News (l754).
Having satisfied himself in regard to
the utility Of his new machine, Divis
offered to the emperor plan for erect
ing number of conductors IN various
parts OF his empire. The emperor sub
mitted the plan to vienuese mathe-
maticians. who were unfortunately
little behind the times, and reported
unfavorably upon the Bohemian's
proposition. The plan was conse-
queutly never carried QUIT. j. Krsl,
in Popular Science MONTHLY.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
THE FARM Err.

Inc farmer is royal man,
lord. king:
nc reigns on Gods primeval plan
Of him SIM.
Responsive to his daily care.
Earth yields her trust;
ne Sows, he plants and haryests fair
spring from the dust
Dencsous fruits countless store.
From earth's green breast,
ound US their rich fragrance pour.
And make US blest.
Inc farmer wields scep,er grand,
And Wall street kings
ray difference to his to:liny hand.
1nAt treasure brings.
1ee monarch Of the railroad guild
Must bend the knee:
1se farmer feeds him and he's filled
Wfthholds-wherc's he:
INDUSTRIOUS priuce! still loyal be,
Though hands are brown,
my nn.shed work will win for thee
"A laurel crown
Evelyn Travers. in Western Rural
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06

eentences Passed by the Judge.
Life is an azglomeration Of incon.
0ruities
Against vulSarity there is no do.
fcnsc.
It is easier to out-ridiculc . folly than
to out-reason it.
Kindness too far extended becomes
in the eyes Of the recipient an obliga-
ton.
A man can afford to be critical. not
having been born with the incumbency
of pleasing.
The last probability is that money
should produce happiness: what it does
j. to make happiness possibls-some-
'imeA-Kathrine Grosjean. in Judge
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06


A Csss avenue man. who Is consider.
able of Q philosopher. has . nervous
wife and heneeds all the philosophy in
sight The other morning about three
o'clock she awol<e him with shake
''Sh-sh." she whispered. ~ he star ted
to make . few emotional remarks.
''there's robbers down-stairs."
How do you known he inquired.
II heard them as plain - could be. I"
"A7h you sure they are down-stairs?"
'Of course am: can't hear? Go
down there and see."
II guess not" he said bravsly. If
they are there. I don't want to 70
where they are. and II they are not
there. what's tho use Of going down It
all? Let's 60 To sleep and wait until
moring," and in two minutes he was
snoring away comfortably obliviouA-
Detroit Free PresA
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06

Thaddeus Stevens was considered one
Of the best lawyers to draw . will or Il
find ways to break one already drawn
in the state of Pennsylvania, and yc,
twenty-five years have passed since he
was gathered to his fathers, and the
courts have not decided vet what dis.
position he intended to make Of his own
property, 50 muddled Is the will which
he drew. The bulk of his estate was
granted to . favorite relative ON q Va
riety Of original conditions The con-
ditions failed, and . children's home
was the residuary legatee, with the sd-
ditional condition that the estate should
reach $4,000. Again the condition
seems to have failed. and now . rela.
tive in Indiana appears and claims the
estate on the ground that the required
sum which was necessary to give vital
ity to the children's home bequest was
made mp largely by delay and accumu-
lation OF interest, and not BY the proper
assets of the estate. With the memory
Of the Tilden will and others, one can
not but ask why IN eminent lawyer IL
20 prone to muddle his own legal docu-
ments?-Boston Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1893-05-06
THE MouNTAiNs. RooTs.
Mercury aud Plumb-Llne In the vleln1tY
of Great Ranges.

eessN~ss S"n bs0u0V- 8soU0 ~ ~ vUr90b8y
of Great Ranges.
1t is well known that mountains At.
tract the plumb line. and thus render
ATTITUDES determined by its means or
by spirit or mercurial level inac-
curate in their vicinity. During the
trigonometrical survey Of India the
amount Of this error was carefully
determined in several localities near
mountains. but o discrepancy ap.
peared. When the mass of the Hima-
layas was estimated and its attraction
calculated it was found 70 be
more than the observed attrac.
tion. The same thing had occurred in
the original experiment by Maslselyne
at Schehallion In Scotland, and sim.
liar deficiency in the error produced
was noticed by Petit in tho case of the
PyreneeA
Many attempts were made to explain
the discrepancy, but that which was
advanced by the late Sir q. b. Airy
seems best to account for all the phe-
no'nena, and is that adopted by Mr..
Fisher. 1t is that every mountain
mass on continent has q much larger
mass projecting beneath the crust into
the liquid substratum. exactly rs an
iceberg has a larger mass under the
water than above it. Sir G. b Airy
argued that whether the crust were
ten miles or q hundred miles thick it
could not bear the weight of such
mass rs the Himalayan and Thibctan
plateaus without breaking from bot
tom 20 top. and receiving support
by partially sinking into the liquid
mass. The best experiments show that
the proportionate densities of most
rocks in solid and q liquid state are
approximately as ice is to water, and
thus no mountain masses can be
formed. whether by lateral pressure or
other agency, without q corresponding
protuberance forming below to keep
the crust in equilibrium. It Is this dis
placement of the denser substratum BY
the less dense roots of the mountains"
that leads to the total attraction Of
such mountains being less than il 9TH
erwise would he. In our authors
words. ''the roots of the mountains can
he felt by means of the plumb-linc."-
A. X. Wallace, in Fortnightly Review.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1893-08-03


miss Gilgal, he said as he led her to
chair after the dance, "Icrave permission to
call upon you"
1T is granted with pleasure" she replied
graciously.
what evening would it be convenient
for me TO Gomez"
"Oh-let me see. Say next Tuesday"
"rhanks, awfully."
At o'clock on the evening named, Mr..
Cosset faultlessly attired, presented him
self mt the door of the Gilgal mansion and
expressed his wish to see the daughter Of
the house.
"Miss Gilgal is not at home"
"Awfully sorryl I'll leave my card"
He left his card and then left himself,
thinking it was n trihe odd, but that per
haps Miss Gilgal had forgotten.
They met again in a week or two, and
the young man remarked;
"Oh-er-Miss Gilgal, called at your
house"
"How kind of you, Mr. Cosset / re-
ceived your card after l returned home
from the opera"
But, If you remember, you said it would
be convenient for me to call on that even
ing"
ayes, remember" said the sweet girl.
~ hope you found it so."-Vogue
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1893-08-03
Injury From Iiicrele Riding.

One evil traceable to bicycling is the con-
firmed stoop which has already declared
itself in many wheelmen, a result so COM
mon in the less strongly built bicyclists Of
the continent as to have found its way into
classification as the HYPNOSIS bicyclista-
rum"
The dorsal curvature posteriorly, which
used to be rare in boys under IA years OK
age, is, now that the bicycle is so largely
used, very frequently met with, particular
~ among those young bicyclists whose
spinal column is developing more rapidly
than the ligaments and muscles, and in
whose case, therefore, the equilibrium be-
tween those parts is more or less disturbed.
Were it merely an unsightly deformity,
the stoop in question ought to be combated
in every way, but confirmed dorsal curva-
ture posterOrly has consequences Of its own
quite mischievous enough 10 call for i'm
mediate counteraction. The displacement
embarrassed functional activity and ar
rested or diseased development of these
organs, which HYPNOSIS inevitably induces,
are all too serious to warrant the slightest
neglect in remedying them.
Exercise of a kind to accustom the spinal
column to an action directly antagonistio
to the inclination forward of the bicyclist's
attitude is what is needed. The use Of the
Indian clubs or such similar means of in
curvating the spine anteriorly, throwing
out the chest and maintaining the head
erect, should be practiced with that object.
London Lancet.
Evening journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1888-1932, 1893-08-03

THERE is nothing startling, though
there Is much that is unique, in the fact
or the impression that Representative
Cochran, Of New York, is on good terms
with President Gle veland. No intelli
gent reader Of current history could be
startled at the conjunction of two
strong men of the same party in the
same state. He must be a hermit or a
Yahoo who could perceive that the con.
junction Of Cleveland and Cochran was
inevitable. We pity the man who hath
ears and eyes which are RESP ectively
soundless and slghiless. There are such
men and to that lamentable fact is due
the dlstressingly slow progress the
world makes in civilization, refinement
and Christianity. Bourke Cochran is a
Democrat. He had a candidate for the
Presidency who did not suit the rest of
the Democrats or the people of the
United States by large majority. When
his candidate was beaten "out Of sight, "
as it were, Mr.. Cochran came out at
once like a good Democrat, loyalty and
ardently for the man Of the
people, Grover Cleveland. He made
hundreds Of speeches proclalming the
some principles he had proclaimed be-
fore. He is a man of principles, not q
thing with a collar labeled. He did not
change any principle. Any man who
had kept himself familiar with the
events of the campaign of 1892 might
remember the speech full of splendi(
eloquence that Cochran made to thu
largest audience ever gathered in VIII
mington. The man who does not re
member that Bourke Cochran was
Cleveland man then, should have nil
bumps examined.