The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1893-08-21
HIS PA PLAYS JOKES,

Htb IA FLATS JOkES.
ssSay, do you think little practical
3oke does any hurts" asked the bad boy of
. The grocery man as he came in with his
Sunday suit on and bouquet in his but
tonhole and pried off couple of figs
from q new box that had been just
opened.
mo, SIR" said the grocery man as he
licked off the sirup that dripped from
quart measure from which he had been
filing jug. IL hold that man who
gets mad at practical joke-that is, one
that does not injure him--is fool, and
be ought to be Stunned by all decent peo-
pie. That's nice bouquet You have in
your coat. What is sit-pansies? Let me
smell of it?" And the grocery man bent
over in front of the boy to take Whit
ot the bouquet. AS he did so stream
Of water shot out of the innocent looking
bouquet and struck him full in the face
ond run down over his shirt and the
grocery man yelled murder and fell over
8 barrel of ak helves and scythe snaths
and then groped around for towel to
wipe his face.
"You condemn skunk said the gro
cory man to the boy as he took up an ak
helve and started for him. "What kind
Of . golblasted squirt gun have you got
there2 / will maui you, by thunder"
md he rolled up his shirt sleeves.
'sThsre, keep your temper. Itook tesl
vote Of you on the subject of practical
iokes before the machine began to play
upon the conAagration that was raging
on your whisky nose, and you said that a
man who would get mad at joke was a
fool, and now know it. Here, let me
Ghow it to you. There is rubber lose
runs from the bouquet inside my coat to
my pants pocket, and there is bulb Of
rubber that holds about half pint, and
when Teller smells Of the posy squeeze
Che bulb, and you see the result. It's fun
where You don't squirt it on a person
that gets mad"
The grocery man said he would give
che boy half q pound of figs if he would
lend the bouquet to him for half an hour
10 play it on q customer, and the boy
axed it on the grocery man and turned
the nozzle so it would squirt right back
into the grocery mans face. He tried it
on the frst customer that came in and
rot il right in his own face, and then the
bulb In his pants pocket got to leaking,
md the rest Of the water ran down the
grocery mans trousers leg, and he gave
& up in disgust and handed it back to
the boy.
"How was Il your Pa had to be carried
home from the sociable in a hack the
other nighty' asked the grocery man as
Ne stood close to the stove 80 his pants
7eg would dry. HE has not got to drink
ing again, has hep
ssOh, no." said the boy as he filed the
bulb with vinegar to practice on his
ehum. ''It was this bouquet that got Pa
Into tho trouble. You see, got Pa to
smell Of it, and just filed him chuck
full of water. He got mad and called
me all kinds Of names and said was no
good on earth and would fetch up in
states prison, and then he wanted to bor-
row 1t to wear to the sociable. He said
be would have more fun than you could
ohake q stick at, and / asked him If he
didn't think he would fetch up in states
prison, and he said it was different with
= man. He said when man played
Joke there was certain dignity about it
that was lacking in boy. So lent it to
him, and we all went to the sociable in
the basement of the church. never see
Pa more htteny than he was that night.
he filed the bulb with ice water, and
the first one he got to smell of his button
bole bouquet was an old maid who thinks
Pa is beathen. but she likes to be made