davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
No.Pas.sl

The Camden and Atlantic Railroad com
pany has hit upon novel scheme for re
fusing passes over the road It is basee
upon Holy Writ. When an applicant fol
deadhead privileges enters the Office, in
stead of receiving the desired pass he i.
gravely handed q card on which are printed
the following Biblical quotations:
Thou shalt not pass. - Numbers Xxx, Is
Suffer not a man to pass. Judges iii
THE wicked shall no more pass, y" Ma
hum i, Is
None shall ever pass. Isaiah xxxiv, 10
This generation shall not pass. - Mark
xiii. So
Though they roar, yet can they not
pass ~ Jeremiah v, 90
So he paid the fare and went. u-Jo Jonah
|. 3.-p Philadelphia Record
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Very Absent,nintle,i. A

The late Justice Lamar's we'll known fits
of abstraction were well illustrated one day
before he had become member of Mr.
Cleveland's cabinet, says recent writer
He had been attending to some business in
the treasury department, and leaving the
building he jumped into one OF those Curl
Gus Washington stages known as herdics to
ride TO the capitol. Passengers in these We
hicles are expected to act as their own con
ductors and deposit their own fares in the
box in front of the herdic.
Justice Lamar, then a senator, took a
quarter from his pocket. and with thoughts
intent on faraway things dropped it into
the box.
Why. senator" exclaimed a fellow pas
senger who knew Mr. Lamar and noticed
his mistake, don't you think it's little
extravagant to pay 25 cents for a herdic
when the fare is only five centssa
why, that's fact, that's factp' re
sponded the senator, waking up from his
day dream. Then, TO the establishment of
his friends, hebrew out a handful of change,
carefully picked out a nickel. dropped it
into the box and sat down, satisfied that he
had rectifed his mistake and paid the right
fare at last.-Detroit Free Press.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
TRIED EVERYTHING.
Until Last Expedient Occurred to
Manager.

| s.
Until Last Expedient Occurred to He,
Manager.
The star was In distress. She sat in her
dressing room after the play and positively
/ refused to be comforted. Outside the man
ager of the company, with 60 per cent of ths
/ $3.50 which represented the gross receipts
| for the night in his pocket, paced Thought
fully up and down the narrow passageway
| which led to the stage.
| Suddenly he stopped and raped on the
door. Come. Miss ,Actorine, Y he said, SIT
| is time that we were getting to the hotel
We leave at LIS O'Clock in the morning fol
the next stand. -
Miss Actorine sat with her head bowed
She said nothing for fully five minutes.
Then she looked up and beckoned to the
manager. "Cone here, she said tragically.
The manager obeyed. He entered and
sat on a trunk The star was silent for five
minutes longer. Then the managers pa
thence gave out, and he asked, What do
you wants"
What do wantS" repeated the star bit
terly. What dc wantg I want to know
what's to be done.
Business is pretty blamed bad" re-
marked the manager.
II should say it was, aid | can't account
for it. I'm sure I've done all / could. /
have exhausted all expedients to make the
people come and see me. have worn
dresses made in Paris. y
You have,'' assented the manager, shud-
dering at the thought Of the prices he had
to pay for them.
Il had my diamonds stolen at Oshkosh. y
.sYou did,
"I got divorce from my husband at
Sioux City"
s.You did,
Il eloped with the leading man at Fort
Wayne
quite true
II shook him for Johnnie at Syracuse. ),
Il remember it.
Il quarreled with my leading lady at
Springfield. 2
Yes, madam
II horsewhipped critic at Atlanta
Il bought the horsewhip'
II claimed that I had been asked to pose
for the Montana statue of JUSTICE
Il wrote the articles about it and paid to
have them printed. "
Il created a scene in hotel lobby at New
Orleans
Il remember it.
And still the people won't come to sec
me. haven't played to $500 in six weeks.
don't know what more an actress can do
to gain the peoples confidence What can
do to win public supportsn
The manager thought for long time.
Then he said slowly and distinctly, Sup
pose you try to act 8 little Buffalo Ex-
press.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Ahead Every Time.


81 been bettin on boss races for some time
now said the man with the yellow dia-
monds refectiyely, AN | begun to think
there's nuttin in it. / tried 'em all ways
trottin, runnin, pacin, walkin, and every
other way, an notice that / allays get it
in the neck before the games over. Now.
kin play game of cards an think | bin
gittin something like an even break for my
money, but when goes up agin a boss
just nacherally think I'm givin the man
what I'm betting with lots of odds. fig
ured out scheme to make horse races even
breaks.
1.-The only thing to do is to make every
race a 2-hoss affair an handicap 'em SOS
they's as near even as possible. Then it's a
case of win or git beat, an you kin back
your judgment at even money an win or
lose an be glad of it. But as for beatin
hosses the way theys run now they amt
no such thing
s.Huh,n said the man with the velvet
vest, wen / was down t n York this
winter / run across man who's played at
Guttenburg every day it's bin open an
come out ahead every day too.
''That amt possible" said the man with
the yellow diamonds oracuiarly.
Bet you Dottle. SalQ the man with
the velvet vest sharply.
'Go you, said the man with the yellow
diamonds. s.Now, as | understan it, your
frien has played at Guttenburg every day
an always made money M right2"
"You are"
How'd that come; play a systems"
Mop said the man with the velvet vest,
smiling cruelty, .he played the big horn in
the band an never made a bet. Was his
wages ahead. Seesn
And the man with the yellow diamonds
bought the bottle without word-Buf-
falo Express.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
CharIey,s 5 sacrifice.

With joyful cry she threw herself upon
her fathers bosom
The old man stroked her golden brown
tresses, but dared not press her for her mo
tives
''Oh, par she murmured eestatically.
What is it. my childsn
only think Charley
Her eyes grew moist at the mention of the
beloved name
has arranged so that we cam
CAM
She faltered, and in her confusion she was
doubly lovely.
'sbe married y
The parents lips moved, but gave no
sound
PA y
My child"
Would you believe the sacrifice he has
made for love of mes He has just told me
that he wou ] try-oh. SO hard-to live
within your i,come.n
1t were .aptious nature that would
longer withhold the paternal sanction.
Detroit Tribune.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
she Caurhe the wrong pran.

Passing down one of the side streets to-
ward the main thoroughfare, she thought
she saw her husband In ali the glory of his
new spring suit, standing on the corner.
The clothes had come home the night be-
fore and had been pronounced fit and
quite unique.
Not another like it In Boston, 2 said its
wearer.
Now, this same husband IS always rail-
ing at women for standing on the streets
talking and impeding the progress of busy
traffic. Deciding that she had caught him
this time, the lady gave the gay lounger a
gentle poke with her parasoi and said:
Really standing still on corner. sweet
hearth
He turned round
1t was another mani Boston Herald.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
A Solicitor.

Magistrate You appear to be man who
has seen better days. Tell me, what has
been your career in lifey
Mendicant 4 was brought up as solic
itor.
Magistrate--Ah, what a pity you should
have allowed yourself to be SO dreadfully
reduced
Mendicant-I haven't been reduced, your
worship. am a solicitor still
Magistrate-Then how is IT you are
brought here on charge of beggings
Mendieant Ny profession, sir, my pro
fessions am solicitor Of aimsi- Bits.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Friend-What' TO hindera
L.noki,,g Out For No. 4.

We'll, You have picked out nice hus-
band for your daughter, y said one Of the
guests ut a fashionable New York wedding.
do you know anything about hIm2,
asked the brides father.
Certainly do. He IL nothing but 4
penniless gambler z
Why didn't you come and tell me this
before the marriagesn
Because he owes me 5000. Take me for
foolSu-Texas Siftings
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
A Great Combination.

On the outer wall of a Brooklyn house
are two signs which make an extremely
suggestive combination. The most striking
Is patent medicine advertisement, which
begins near the top. This medicine claims
to be specific for nearly every ailment
man is heir TO. The name, price and viz
tues of the medicine are first set forth,
then follow the ailments that it can con-
quer, enumerated at great length. The adj
vertisement then comes to an abrupt halt
and another modest, unpretending, butex-
ceedlngly gestiye-sign reads, Murphy,
Undertaken. - Harpers Magazine.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
He was one of Them.

'.The board will please remain after ths
congregation is dismissed" said the Rev
Mr. Harps.
After the congregation had filed out th,
minister observed that a stranger still kept
his seat.
"Ah, my friend, did yon wish to see mes'
asked the good man.
Not particularly" replied the stranger
.'Then, pardon me, but why are you
waitingsn
Because you asked me to stay
81 am sorry. but you are mistaken.
asked the board to remain
well, am one of the bored Life
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Beautiful,

One night we were sitting out Of doors ID
the moonlight, unusually silent--almost
sad. Suddenly some onea poetic looking
man, with u gentle. lovely face said in a
low tone:
Did you ever think of the beautiful les
son the stars teach usSn
We gave vague, appreciatiye murnur.
but some soulless clod said:
NO What is it2s'
How to wink be answered In sad,
sweet voice. Exchange
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
A Principle MT Stake.

.sYour account of the concert last night, .
said the musician. trembling with indigna-
tion, omitted all mention of the very thing
| wanted to see printed. The violin
played, as was careful to tell your report
er, was genuine Stradivarius. and one OF
the best he ever made"
That's all right" said the editor of The
Daily Bread. when Mr. Stradivarius gets
his fiddles advertised in this paper, it will
cost him SO cents line. Good morning,
Chicago Tribune
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
a vast Differences.

Rollo- Tell me, pa, is there any differ
ence between common salt and chloride OF
sodium2
Mr.. Holiday Yes. Rollo, great differ
ence. Salt is two cents a pound at the gro
GERS, while chloride of sodium is SO cents a
teaspoonful at the druggists = Boston
Transcript.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Two of Kind.

What is all that uproar about In theresn
inquired stranger, trying to force his way
through the crowd in front of the building.
It's plumber and a paper hanger, 2 re-
piled man standing ON the window sill
They've done some work for each other,
and they're trying to settle. ~ Chicago
Tribune
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
All Lost.

Rev. DR.. Drowsie-I am afraid that my
remarks on the proper raiment for a clergy
man this morning were entirely lost.
Mrs Drowsie-How sos
Dr.. Drowsie-I have since ascertained
that there isn't tailor in my whole con-
gregation.-Iife
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
why He Missed III.

Amateur Tenor-Did ron hear me sing
last night?
Frankman-No. The fact is got In the
lam at the door and colIdn't.
A. z. (pIeased1 w hat, was there such q
crowd trying TO get In as that2
Frankman--No. to get out. Vogue.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Fl. FL. HILL
Al Taste For Science.

Little Dick-I know how to tell how deep
well is without going down.
Father-Ah, I'm glad to see my son has
taste for science You drop IN stone and
then count the number of seconds required
for the descent, presumes
Little Dick-Oh, no. tie the stone to a
string and then measure the string. Good
News.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Limit.

Old Gentleman When the children oe
today get to be old folks, DONE see low
they are going to get light enough to retui
by.
Friend What's TO hinderp
Old Gentleman When was q boy, wa
used candles, and they gave light enough
for young eyes like mine Then, as grew
older, we changed to lamps and later TO
gas, and now we have electric light, and
Pm all right get I can read by that as
well AS | used TO do with candies But
what's to become OF the children who begin
with the electric lights That's what I'd
like to know--Tit- Bits.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Money In 1t,

A Scotehman waited upon one of the
most celebrated teachers of the German
fute, desiring to know on what terms he
would give him a few lessons. The flute
player told him he charged 2 guineas for the
first month and guinea for the second.
s.Then,n y replied the Scot, aI'll begin In
the second month"; PIT Bits.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
a Proud Father.

Forester w hats the matter with Jones
He never speaks to q body now.
Lancaster-O course not Their rev
baby weighed Is pounds Brooklyn Life.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Too sweet.

Cholly Don't you think Madge Slim
waste has sweet MOUTH
Gus Yaas; wish it wasn't so confounded-
Iy sweet though. I'll be expected to keep
it supplied with ice cream all next summer.
doneherknow. Brooklyn Eagle
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Good Adriee.

Snitor-sir. you are undoubtedly aware
of the object Of my visits
Father believe you desire to make my
daughter happy. Do you really mean it?
Suitor-U Unquestionably
Father-Well, 1on't marry. then.-Tit
Bits.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Suspected 1t.

Bank Clerk No, madam. i am sorry.
but we can't cash that check. Your hus.
bands account is overdrawn.
Mrs. Lamode-Ohl OTer,irawn, is it2 /
it without waiting for me to into hysters
les Exchange
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
A Long Walt.

Last Guest tat the dairy lunch counter
What time you closer
Tired Waiter Girl-If it takes ron as long
to finish the pie as It did the sandwich, NJ
shan It close for Is minutes yet.--C Chicago
Tribune
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
In It

Miss rs-The least thing sympathetic
about play causes the tears to pour down
my cheeks.
The Professor Following the latest
wrinkle. suppose-that is-eh--I don't
mean wrinkle at all--of course not-fad-
that's it--fad is the word Brooklyn Life
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Not Intended.

Hicks-I guess Pm square with Dix.
gave his boy mouth organ last night.
Mrs. Hicks-But you're not square with
me. Mrs. Dix sent him over here TO spend
the day. Vogue.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Hard Pressed.

He-No, they don't pay me more than
aIn worth
She-How IN the world do you manag
to live on It Funny Folks.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
SHE KNEW.


Behind rock
Upon the sand
They sat in bliss.
lie held her hand
Until She said,
''Dear George. are you
Aware your sleeves
Might well hold twos"
A moment passed.
No words exchanged;
A rustling sound;
Things rearranged-
And then a voice,
Though cut of sight.
.Tis heard quite plain.
by Jove. you're righti''
-Ciothier and Furnisher.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Try Somewhere Else.

5 Customer The nissus wants some egg
very bad.
{ New Clerk IL don't think we have any
very bad eggs, ma am Yankee Blade.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
In Doubt.

B0y-PapeF. ST!
Citizen Um yes, will take paper.
Boy-Afl right, sir. Which ones
Citizen I'm, let me see. Which one Is
offering a house and lot or a grand piano
this mornings New York Weekly.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09

Loudly.

what do you think Of choIly's new
spring suits''
It speaks for itself New York Press
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
The Point of view.

FIykyns-Ihat's very funny scrape you
are in
Slykyns--I'd think SO myself il it had
happened to some other fellow. Truth
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
His Name.

A drummer entered city hotel few
days ago and approached the register. He
made a few inquiries and then proceeded to
disfigure the book with row of marks like
this:
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
A Trihe Put Gut.
Cou1ln,t Buy 1T,

Guest-What a magnificent residence
that is opposite.
Mr.. Pompous-Gr Grandl A veritable pal
aeei have been trying to buy that place
for years
Guest They won't sell, eh?
Infant Terrible Yes, but they want cash
Good News.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
/ ask what it wass
No. Indaedi

Cholly-I say, what shall do to make a
reputation that viii be of service in Euro
pean society,"
Chappie-Go into dueling and kill your
man.
Cholly-But, my dear boy, could never
find another who understands parting my
hair SO well Brooklyn Life.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09

The clerk resented the disfguration with
the remark that This amt a drawing
school. sir; neither is it headquarters fer
the solution Of idiotic geometrical prob
lems y
Al the conclusion of his little speech he
glanced once more at the register and saw,
to his surprise. that by few strokes of his
pen thevisitor had transformed the disfgu-
ration into
e. FL. HILL.
Strange though it may seem, he treated
to cigars.-New Bedford Journal
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Reason Enougl,.

she-How is it you were not at the De
Goldeoyne's reeeptions
Hell staid away on accountof a personal
matter.
She-May ask what it was5
He-Will you promise to keep it secret9
She-Yes.
He-Well, they failed to send me an in
vitation.-Vogue.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09

Tramp mister, don't you want to
give me somethin to dos
Merchant-Youl Nonsense! What can
you do that would be Of the least value to
me5
Tramp I'd move on for dime
Harper's Weekly.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
The Price,

Mrs. Waughntit Oh, Id just give the
world for q cottage at Newport.
Mr. Waughntit- Yes. my dear believe
that's about what they cost. Detroit Trib-
una
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Over the Telephone.

Jenkins Helloi Is that snipft. the tai
lori
Hears voice say Yes ~
Well, this Is Jenkins. Sayi Why In
the devil don't you send down those trou-
sers Of miner Are you wearing them your-
selff'-Life
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
Thos.e Girls,

Maude Fred Is always doing something
no one else would do.
Lena- Why. has he proposed to yous--
Truth.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-09-09
IS rights maintain, unawed by influence and unDrib

oPELoUsAs, La, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER o 1898
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1893-10-05
$40 REWARD.
NOTICE TO WATER CONSUMERS

From this date until further notice water
Will be shut off from all mains from 9 o clock
a. m. until O'Clock p. M, and from 10
O'Clock p. m. until o'clock a. m. Please
take notice and be prepared
J. ROUGON, Supt. W. w. w.
Winnemucca, Sept. l, 1898. IT,
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1893-10-05
KNOWLEDGE

Brings comfort and improvement and
tends to personal enjoyment when
rightly used. The many, who live bet
ter than others and enjoy life more, with
less expenditure, by more promptly
adapting the worlds best products to
the needs of physical being, will attest
tie value to health of the pure liquid
laxative principles embraced in the
remedy, Syrup of Figs.
It's excellence is due to it's presenting
in the form most acceptable and pleas
ant to the taste, the refreshing and truly
beneficial properties of perfect lax
ative; efFectually cleansing the system
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
and permanently curing constipation.
II has given satisfaction to millions and
met with the approval of the medical
profession because it acts on the Kid
neys. Liver and Bowels without weak
ening them and it is perfectly free from
every Objectionable substance.
Syrup of Figs is for sale by all drug
gists in SOC and 81 bottles, but it is man.
ufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co. only, whose name is printed on every
package, also the name, Syrup of Figs,
and being well informed, you will not
'ecept any substitute if offered.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1893-10-05
WINNEMUCCA, NEVADA THURSDAY. OCTOBER S, 1893

Bimetallism With Great Britain In
cluded Is Possible" was the title Of
paper read for the author by Captain
G.. A. Power of Kansas.
It's argument was that Great Brit
ain as creditor nation controlled
the world. On behalf of the Knights
OF Labor delegates present, L. A. Os-
borne of Kansas presented the con-
vention an address indorsing it's OBJ
jects. After reviewing in general
terms the present financial and labor
situation it urges the increase of the
medium Of exchange; pledges its op-
position To the destruction of silver
as money; favors free coinage at a
ratio of l6 to |, and closes with a
resolution to clay aside all other is
sues for the present and ask the South
and West to unite on the remoneti-
zation Of silver" As the East is
solid against it let the West and South
stand together and pay the East bonds
according to contract, but no more.
incidentally it urged the convention
to educate and vote instead of re-
naming ignorant and having to
shoot. The Colorado delegation pre-
sented for the consideration OF the
convention bullion bureau plan,
which is to be urged uron the state
legislature of COLORADO. Under the
plan the bureau, as state creation,
should receive bullion for storage on
basis of units, such units to consist
of 37l4 grains of pure silver and cer-
tificates OF such receipt of units to be
receivable within the state for taxes,
lands Except school lands) water
rentals, interest and all other dues to
the state.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1893-10-05
HUNDREDS DROWNED.
Southern Islands Swept by a
Tidal Wave.
LIVES AND PROPERTY DESTROYED
The Second Days Session of the Bimet-
allie Convention at st. LouisIn the
Senate Butler and Blackburn Make
Stirring Speeches Against Repeal

New ORLEANS, Oct. 1.-The dis
aster at Grand island and Cheniere is
unparalleled in this section. The
first authentic news came this morn
ing when several survivors reached
here. They tell heartrending stories.
The tidal wave swept over the island
destroying lives and property on all
sides. One hundred and forty-fve
families are said to have perished.
The death list will run up into the
hundreds.
1t is now estimated the loss of life
on Grand Isle and Cheniere and in
Grand and Adams bay and Cook
Chaton and Oyster bayou settlement
will reach eight hundred to one
thousand.
This morning near Burras the bod
les of three little girls, evidently sis
ters, were found clinging together,
horribly mangled by a barbed wire
fence, against which they had been
thrown by the force of the wind.
A man, wife and two children went
on board schooner outside of Bayou
Cook; the schooner was wrecked and
the husband and children drowned.
The woman lashed herself to broken
mast and fioated in the angry sea all
night. She was rescued in the morn
ing by passing vessel and brought
here today.
Mathew Schurts of Gouldsboro, ,one
of the survivors of the Cheniere Cam
india calamity, arrived this morning,
and brought a narrowing tale of the
loss of life there. He was engaged
there constructing a schoolhouse, and
boarded in house where twenty-five
people lodged. The house was de-
molished, and it is believed that
about all the inmates were killed.
Schurts himself was frightfully
knocked about and bruised, and his
clothes were torn to shreds. He es-
timated the loss of life on Grand Isle,
Cheniere and in the Grand and
Adams bay and Cook, Chanton and
Oyster bay settlements at 800 or 1000.
When he left Cheniere island yester-
day he counted but five houses stand
ing out of total of about 800. The
island was covered with corpses.