Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-02-02
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes ana Jokelets that Are Supposed 10
Have Boon Recently Born Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd. Curious ami
LNuEhabl0.
Tea Table Talk.


delphia Record.
THE ascent of the balloon is gem
orally a soar point with the aeronaut.
--Binghamton Leader.
THE merchant finds that his hard
est work begins when everything is
dun.-ChicagO Inter Ocean.
THE Greeks solved the theater-hat
nuisance by not allowing the women
to go to the theater. -Detroit Jour
nal.
SOME claim that the counterpart
in the opposite sex of the grass widow
should be designated the hay rake
Philadelphia Times.
PAT" Have yez an almanac,
Moike?" Mike-"I have not" Pat
"Then We'll have to take the weather
as it comes "--Truth.
ToMMY-"What's the turkey strut
ting around that way for?" Jimmy
-"Guess he's trying to look tough"
indianapolis Journal.
BY adding few medical properties
to the mucilage the Columbian stamp
might be utilized to crush the porous
plaster trust. Washington Post.
JINKs-Gallon was dead to the
world last night. Filkins-Did he
have stored urn? Jinks-No: just
an animated st.-Field's Wash
ington.
REeG1E-"Van Harding has been
expelled from the club" Ferdie--
"Why?" Reggie--"He was getting
too beastly bwainy. New York
Herald.
ToMMY-"Say, paw" Mr.. Figg-
"Well?" Tommy-"When a hole in
the ground is filed up with dirt what
becomes of the hole?"-Indianapolis
Journal
"YoU were out again playing poker
last night" said the father. mo,
father" replied the truthful young
man, 81 was in just SIT. Washing
ton Star.
SHE-Dudes haven't more than
half sense. Mr.. Sappy--Aw, Miss
Navy, are there no exceptions? "Oh,
yes, Mr.. Sappy; some haven't any. =
Brooklyn Life.
Il HAVE discovered way to cure
cockneys of pronouncing horse as il
it were orse" "How?" Spell it
orse. Then they'll be sure to say
horse. Puck
THERE is no end to New York's
jealousy of Chicago A street car
conductor of Gotham even refused
to accept a Columbian half-dollar at
it's face value. -Pittsburg Dispatch.
docs your husband pet you?"
asked Mrs McCorkle of Mrs. Nc
Crackle ooh, yes" was the reply
"when he's drunk" "How nice it,
must be to be petted all the tt me. -"
Truth.
John" said Mrs Norton, as she
seated herself at the hotel breakfast
table, did you call waiter?" yes,
said Norton, looking up from his pa
per, 81 called him and he had tray
full. Life.
DON'T you think you are OVERRIDING
this matter of delay?" said the cred
itor. Not at all, replied the debtor,
but I am satisfied that your part OK
the transaction is decidedly over
dun. Washington Star.
YOUNG HUsBAND-What. You are
IS years old to-day? Why, you told
me year ago, just before the
wedding, that you were only 20.
Young Wife-(wearily)-I have aged
rapidly since married. Life.
HE-"You don't mean to tell mp'
you are going to marry that old, bald
headed professor" She-"He is
rather bald, but think how many
young men of to-day are bald on the
inside of their heads. Truth
ED1ToR--You say you want d
check for some jokes you left here
two weeks ago? Why, those jokes
have been paid for Mr. Chestnut
How long ago, sir? ooh, about fifty
or hundred years, l imagine. -
Life.
BRowN-There were some things
in which the ancients surpassed the
moderns. Dunn-What, for in
stance? Brown-Noah was better
weather-prophet than the fellows
who make the predictions nowadays
Puck.
HEADING HIM OFF: Gildersleeye
when are you going to propose to
the wealthy Miss Munn?" Tillinghast,
Never" Observation-Disclosures.
the trouble?" Tillinghast-"Well
she sent me as Christmas gift II
book entitled Don't '"-Christma,
Puck.
MAGAZINE OFFICE BoY-"Oh, there's.
been an awful time up in the editor
ial room to-day" Business Manager
-"Eh! what's the trouble?" Office
Boy-"The janitor made a mistake
and put the No Admittance' sign at,
the subscription office and the Wei
come door mat in front OF the ed
itor's room. Good News.