The Wichita daily eagle., 1893-12-30
A PAuPER MoNoPoLIsT.
He Lived in Glover While the Wcnel
Were After .he Curate.

He Lived in Glover While the WcEeA
Were After che Curate.
It happened in pretty Iorkshire
village--a peaceful. respectable spot,
where folks found life bit slow One
day. however. n new curate arrived.
and that woke things UP considera bly,.
He was nice young man. and. having
large private income of his own, was
altogether most desirable catch
Every unmarried female in the place
went for him with one accord. But
ordinary feminine Establishments ap-
peared to have no effect upon him. He
was q seriously inclined Young man,
and once in the course of . casual con-
versation upon the subject of love. he
was heard TO say that he. himself,
wOuld never be attracted by mere
beauty and charm. What would ap-
peal to him. he said. would be wom-
ans goodness-her charity and kind
illness to the poor.
Well, that set the petticoats ell
thinking. They saw that IN studying
fashion plates and practicing express
sions they had been going upon the
wrong tack The card for them to
play was 1.-The poor But here a Sc
rious difficulty arose. There was only
one poor person in the whole parish.
cantankerous old fellow who lived in a
tumble-down cottage at the back of
the church, and fifteen able DO lied
women eleven girls, three old maids
and widow wanted to be good to
him Miss Simmonds. one of the old
maids, got hold of him first and COM
menced feed ing him twice a day with
beef-tea: and then the widow
boarded him with port wine
and oysters. Later in the week
others of the party drifted in upon
him and wanted to cram him with jelly
and chickens The old man couldn't
understand it He was accustomed TO
a small sack of Goals now and then, ac-
companied by long lecture on his
sins. and an occasional bottle of dande
lion tea. This sudden squirt on the
part of Providence puzzled him. He
said nothing, however, but contrived
to take in as much of everything as he
could hold. At the end of month he
door.
The competition among the women
folk grew keener every day, and at last
the old man began to give himself airs,
and to make the place hard for them.
He made them clean his cottage out
and cook his meals. and when he was
tired of having them about the house
he set them to work in the garden.
They grum bled a good deal, and there
was talk at one time of a sort of a
strike, but what could they do? He
was the only pauper for miles around,
and he knew it. He had the monopoly,
and. like all monopolists, he abused his
position. He made them run errands.
He sent them out to buy his ''baccy" at
their own expense. On one occasion
he sent Miss Simmonds out with Jug
to get his supper beer. She indignant
" refused at first, but he told her that
if she gave him any of her stuck-up airs
out she would go, and never come into
his house again. If she wouldn't do it,
there were plenty of others who would.
She knew it, and went.
They had been in the ha bit of reading
to him-good books with an elevating
tendency But now he put his foot
down upon that sort of thing He said
he didn't want Sunday school rubbish
at his time of life. What he liked was
something spicy. And he made them
read him French novels and seafaring
tales containing realistic language.
And they didn't have to skip anything
either. or he'd know the reason why.
He said he liked music, SO few of them
clubbed together and bought him a
harmonium. Their idea was that they
would sing hymns and play high-class
melodies but it WASH his. His idea
was: keeping Up the d Girls Birth
day" and ''She Winked the Other Eye"
with chorus and skirt dance, and that's
what they sang.
To what lengths his tyranny would
have gone it is difficult to say. had not
an event happened that brought his
power to premature collapse. This
was the curate's sudden and somewhat
unexpected marriage with very beau
tiful burlesqu actress who had lately
been performing in neig hboring town.
He gave up the church on his engage
msnt, in consequence of his fiancee's
objection to becoming minister's wife.
She said she could never ''tumb to-
district visiting. With the curate's
wedding the old pauper's brief career
OF prosperity ended They packed him
off to the workhouse after that and
made him break stones. s.-Novel Notes.