The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-11-25
LIMEKILN CLUB PHILOSOPHY.

| at has cum to my knowledge said
Brother Gardner, after the stove had
| been righted up and the windows low
cred TO let out the smoke-'1t has
cum TO my knowledge dat Brudder Way
| down Beebe has Jest about dun gone
crazy on de subjick Of philosophy. !
| also Farm dat Kurnel johnson has spent
SO fur books on dat subjick, although
| it's powerful hard work fur him 10 spell
cat and git dc words in whar dey be-
| long. Also dat Elder TcOts has been a-
sttin' in his cabin fur. de last week,
shoes of au' feet on char, a-tryin' 10
fird out why dar am a holiness bout heat
an a codness bout cold. Deed, but
dar seems to be "A sort o. craze among de
members Of dis Limekiln club jist now
fur philosophy, an | want TO say few
words to yo' who am present.
"Dar bain't no secret bout dis philos
ophy bzness, an dar hain't no sorter use
fur any Of go to spend any money or loaf
about de house. | kin tell yo' all yo'
want to know. All yo' need am plain,
eberday philosophy, without any silver
platin' on it. DE philosophy of philoso-
ply am as plain as the nose on yo'r face.
Fur instance:
"If Samuel Shin spends TO- days in dc
week loatin' around saloons and foolin'
wild game chikens some Of de Shin chil'cn
hev got to 90 bar'fut.
"If Anthony Johnson losses s l2 wuth
OF time to win $! on hoss race he's $40
short, n all dc iiggcrin in dc world can't
make it any Older way.
. Ig.,,I1nv EnhiH Nn xunal
lie has wife an six chil'tn an keeps
five dawgs. Docs philosophy encourage
him in dc hope Of Ocin' wort n millyon
dollars some day? Not much PhiIoso-
ply says he'll be mighty lucky if he ever
gets ID cents ahead Of dc game.
"On fo'ty different occashuns last
summer saw Jedgc Primrose asleep on
his dCah-steps when oddcr men. war at
work. Am philosophy providin' him
wild chicken pOtpie an Mocha coffee DIS
winter! Not as we knows of. On n
contrary, he,s powe. ful happy when he
humps Up again II cold tater an a cup OF
2-shilIin' tea.
"Last spring Shndig Watkins bough,
gold watch fur $lj an IA diamond pip
fur $40 mo- Dis fall he's got an ole
towel pinned around him fur an under
shirt an am maxim pathetic inquiries
bout dc price of turnips. DO yo' want
any better philosophy dan dat!
Last summer Majah Scott arrovc in
dis town from Nirginny wild his family.
lie rented "A box Mt de pOssOllis; his wife
gin high tea; he rented piano at -
per month; he bought tickets to straw
berry festivals, an dc family was seen at
dc theatcr. De oddCr day dar was u
crash which shook dc United States. De
ma jah reached dc end Of dat $40 he
had got Cor his mewl when he left Nir-
gnuy, an today he am hunting fur
stoves to black. Dar was philosophy
dar, but he didn't see it. Philosophy
teaches US dat if yo' try to make $40
answer fur : 600 something has got To
bust sooner or later.
"De Rev. PenstOCk am another shinin'
example of philosophy. He had 500 in
dc bank to run him lrew dis winter. He
drawed it out and took Mrs. Penstock TO
dc sea shore and flung on heap of style.
De oddcr day he borrowed. half a dollar
of me TO buy co'nmCal. Philosophy
orter told him dat if he spent his money
gwine to de scashore he couldn't hev it
to buy minccmcat in de winter, but lie
couldn't see it.
My lrens, do not wish to dictate,
nor would fo'ce my advice upon any of
yo'. | hope, however, to find yo' con
slstent in dis philosophy bizncss, De
man who throws up Il cash job to loaf
aroun' home an study philosophy may
git few theories, but he can't trade 'cm
lur meat or taters. De philosophy Of
heat won't buy an obcrcoat fur Jinuary
weather. De philosophy of cold won't
pay dc rent in July. 1t may be mighty
interestn' to know why de airth moves
around de sun, but shoes and stocllin's
cost money. lo may wonder why de
wind blows, or why do sea am salt, or
why de moon doan' shine Mt MONDAY,
but when dc landlord calls fur de rent
he expects his money. About half
philosophy, half horse sense, and steady
work at 81 a day am jest about de dose
fur common folks like us. II de white
folks kin stand lectle mo- dat's deir
lookout - NJ. Quad, in Chicago Times.