The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1893-07-13
CHURCH ROW OVER NOSE.
Ecclesiastical Suit Brought Against
the Slanderer of a PrObOscis.

Baltimore Sun: They have had funny
church row in an Ohio town, and all about
the shape Of woman's nose. The quarrel
originated last Christmas about the pur-
chase of candy for the Sunday school enter
tainrnent, one of the ladies who had been
appointed a member Of the committee for
that purpose showing herself SO domineer-
ing as to call forth some sharp criticism.
One of the critics discussing the matter de-
clared that the trouble arose because the
lady in question twas too SMART where
upon a would-be male wit remarked that
che knew that from the shape Of her nose, y
at which all the ladies laughed with great
zest, at the same time casting admiring
and approving glances in the mirrors at
their own orthodox noses. From this pleas.
ant bit OF religious gossip a feud arose to
which ordinary choir feuds are as nothing.
The lady whose nose had been insulted was
presently informed of what had been said
about it, and she Immediately bearded the
slanderer in his own house and demanded a
retraction. -..- ~ ~ ~ Il. f.!
With the cowardice that characterizes the
average man when confronted by an indig.
nant woman, he hid, fguratively speaking,
behind his wife's petticoats and persuaded
her to tell the lady with the heretical hose
that he had not said anything derogatory
pacitied in this way, however, but went
back<at, once to the person who had told
her, and had the story confirmed with all
the the; ., narrowing circumstance m and detail
throw into a narration of this sort about
another. The wife Of the slanderer stin
her guilty and trembling husband, the
lady whose nose had been so shamefully
maligned brought an ecclesiastical suit
ing them with being guilty Of false
hood in denying the accusation. and OF
hatred i 1, malice, ana all acknowledgements
were engaged on both sides and the case
was heard before a jury of five church
members, with the pastor sitting as the
bers of the female persuasion were ex.
amined and testified with great volubility
and delight, bringing in so much extrane.
quently out Of the case to make little filings
at other female members that there was
great danger at times that the proceed
ings would degenerate into an active e1
pulling and scratching. s5 ri Ms 2
It took great tact on the part Of the pas.
tor and the qrymsn to- soo 18th the excited
brought in a verdict which served to calm
the storm. They found that the defend.
ants were not guilty Of fafsehood and had
never reflected in any way upon the plain
tiff's nose, and they found further that the
nose which was at issue in the case was
good, orthodox. Christian nose, indicative
only Of such virtues as humility, patience,
long suffering, faith, hope, and charity, and
not in the remotest degree suggestive OF
pride, arrogance, Or a dictatorial character.
The verdict pleased all sides; the women
had threatened to disrupt whole congre-
cation and destroy the friendships Of life
time retired to the shades Of domestic
all the world. The moral Of this story
would seem to be: In the first place never
speak. i'll Of a. woman's noses. but in the
to your denial and in the third place, =
the case comes to be adjudicated in til,
church. let the pastor and his jurymen
initiate the diplomatic course OF the Ohio
heal the lacerated feelings Of the ladies
and convert a threatened schism into 3;
general love-feast. ysE