The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1893-12-30
THE USE or TACT.


4
and In Society.
We hear about mans inhumanity to
man, but nothing about woman's in
humanity. tits astonishing how much
bitterness has been caused by most un.
INTENTIONAL rudeness. Women stab
each other daily IN conversation, with
out intending, to be malicious Tact
is, perhaps, the rarest and most valua-
BILE of gifts. She who has it can get
along happily without any beauty. and
almost without brains. She who has
it not can not get on at all without
constant attrition. She hurts where
she would heal. and wonders at the
resentment that follows her well-meant
Efforts. There are several s'don'ts"
which should be considered whenever
two or more women are gathered to-
gether. For instance: Don't say to-
q friend: How stout you are grow
ing No woman likes to be told
that she is growing or has grown stout.
II it be fact she is doubtless well
aware OF it and anxious to keep others
from discovering it. You would not
think of saying to her: "How ugly you
are growing!' yet what you have said
is of very much the same nature, for
most women consider any approach to
stoutness as so many steps are taken in
the direction Of the loss of beauty.
If you are really polite you will dali
in your power to turn your friei1~ 9
thoughts from any distressing or an
noying channel.
Don't say, "How thin you are!s
either, for both women and men loathe
to be told that they are either stout or
thin. Unless you can say, How well
you are looking!'' it were better to make
no remark on the personal appearance
of your friend.
Don't tell q friend who has on a par.
ticularly becoming gown or bonnet
that she looks ten years younger in
that than in anything You have ever
seen her wear. That is at best but
dubious compliment. You mean it to
be fattering. but it is equivalent TO
saying: "All your other gowns arc un-
becoming and make you look Old No
woman wants one garment praised at
the expense of every other that she
possesses. Don't tell her either that it
is the most becoming thing you have
ever seen her wear. That is an inn
peachment of her taste heretofore
though you probably have no such
thought
II you should notice bit of black
courtrplaster on friends cheek don't |
try to be witty by pointing at 1t and |
asking her If she has been fighting.
Nothing could be less delicate It |
forces her to speak about It and that |
certainly can not be agreeable t. her.
She knows it is there, certainly. Or It |
would not be there. hence it is Super
huous as well as offensive to speak |
of it.
In these days, when hair changes its |
color with much greater facility than
the leopard can change his spots, don't |
ask friend if her hair was not lighter |
or darker some years ago, when you
first knew her. Such . question may
be embarrassing to her, and may force |
her to explain what is entirely her own
affair. Whatever pertains to ones toilet /
is of a strictly private nature, and the
well-bred stranger or friend informed
1leth not.
When elderly persons are present do
not tell how you dread the thought of
Did age. In short, do not introduce
subjects of conversation which could
prove offensive to anyone present
In society, beauty, grace, wealth and
will avail but little without
hat valuable characteristic
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