The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-01-22

''sit under me-" I wrote to this man
ager and told him that he might
make fifty dates for me in desir-
able cities in December and January
at an enormous price. He wrote back to
know what printing and press notices 1
had.
1 had one notice, which I sent to him st
once, although he never used it. II was
as follows:
Last night Mr.. Nye spoke at the new
rink here on the subject. Is or Is Not the
Tariff Tax?' The speaker arrived on
the O'Clock stage from Tie Siding.
de was the first man IN the hall and by
far the last one out of it. He speaks
with great difficulty, owing to the
fact that he is unable TO think of things to
say. Some think he will improve. The
lecture was free, and several came in to
get warm. Those who were already warm
enough did not come In.
The lanitor tells US that the lecture
lasted over an hour. He thinks that if
our people here had begun in time 1t could
have been averted. He is going to resign
as Janitor # the owners of the building do
not treat him with more consideration.
There were other notices that were bet
ter than the above-notices that l had
written mvself-for | was more careful not
to wound my feelings than the man who
wrote that one.
After a few weeks. greatly to the sur
prise of those who knew me, got tele-
gram asking me my price for lecturlng.
The telegram came from small but very
active and thrifty place. l was not ready
with my lecture yet, and my clothes We're
not done SO | wired back that | would
charge $500 and expenses. The answer by
red message was that my terms were ac-
cepted with pleasure.
This only gave me two days in which to
t,HFav -
was very annoying, but | could not hon.
orably get out of it. Also by this time 1
had grown very tired of studying the lee
ture. 1t did not improve on acquaint-
ance. | wondered how | could have seen
anything smart in 1t on the start. Oh,
how very trite and tart and tough it
seemed as l studied it walking up and
down in the granary, and how l wished
that l had not beaten down the price of
the young man who wanted to write q
good Iectuye for me.
Why didI try to economic by writing
my own lecture? Here was young man
who had written lectures for all the prom
inent lecturers of the country, and S. was
all ne asked. Why did | try to save IS
and thereby humiliate myself before the
peoplef
Finally the job was done. The lecture
instead OF the lecturer was committed,
and the new clothes came home with
white basting thread in them. l had a
dress rehearsal in the evening at hd he
before went to bed. One good. kind Ikan
went from my rehearsal to sit up with q
lady who had been killed by her husband
while at tea. He went rather cheerfuliy,
it seemed to me.
All along the way to my engagement /
could not be happy. Everything reminded
me of my lecture. In my Imagination /
could see the audience, at first expectant,
i
offensive and finally riotous. l could not
ca anything. did not feel hungry. /
dreaded meeting the committee. l was
tempted to get killed on the road, and
though | needed the advertising I gave it
up, for could not think of any kind of
death that would not make me ashamed to
be laid out.
No one M me at the train. Then be-
gan to hope that possibly it was all a mis-
take, and that maybe would not have to
lecture. went to the only hotel and reg
istered. The landlord asked if Was any
relation to Bill Nye. said yes.
'Well." said he. che is here today; has
been here all day."
HE has?"
Yes. Came in on the morning train.
The committee met him and took him up
to see the artesan well, and visited the
public school with him, and they say he
spoke to the children, kept 'em laughing
all the while, sa ,sed the teacher. swore at
the scholars and smoked the committees
cigars. On, he's corkerl He lectures
here tonight"
rs he stopping here at this house?"
Eyes, he stops here. Charlie, where did
Bill Nye go tor"
why, he was here just before the train
went out"
"Well. s'posin' you run. UP to No. so and
see if he's in. Tell him there's a relation
of his down here"
Pretty soon Charlie came back and said
that he was gone Also his bright little
enameled portemonnaie. He had gone on
the same train which brought me in. He
had enjoyed himself very much indeed, 1t
is said. He had buggy ridden all day,
made a few remarks to the worklngmen
on reciprocity and delivered VIGOROUSLY
unsound speech before the Presbyterian
synod, which was then in session there-a
speech which have been nearly eight years
in trying TO live down by an upright lite.
spoke on that evening al a great disad-
vantage. 1t had become noised about that
l was a low, coarse thing. and that | had
never been in good society much. One
man asked at the box Office il it would be
proper place to bring ladies. do not
know when have been so panied. 1t is
hard enough t. lecture for the first time
anyhow; but, oh, how distressing it is
when one has been maligned and misrep-
resented by an alibi
Twas introduced by man who was so
afraid that he might accidentally be re-
sponsible for my sentiments that he said
nothing except in regard to the beautiful
soil and climate of the town. and what a
future she had before her. and what unde-
veloped resources she had, and how lit
tie foreign capital would make her what
she was destined in the no great distant
future to become-the gem city OF the con-
tlnent.
| arose somewhat irritated and said that
after the beautiful and deserved tribute
and introduction just given to the gem
city Of the continent, | was sorry to say
that il was unable to be present this even
ing. and that | had been secured TO take
its place Then | went on from that with
my lecture, which sounded strange and
very poor for me.
When any one snickered it surprised
nm z