Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1893-12-14
"oLO ROCKS" GOT HIS FISH.
And the East River Jokers Haven't
stopped Laughing Yet.

ana the Fast River Jokers Haven't
stopped Laughing Yet.
old Rocks" is quite a celebrity in
his way in East river circles. That, is.
he Is celebrated for the tender care
which he takes of his wife, who sup
ports him. When he is sober he runs
errands for her and takes charge of
the household generally, but the trou-
bic IS he is seldom sober. II his wife
sends him out he generally returns
with as much liquor on board as he
can comfortably hold.
Among other things. "Old Rocks
and his wife are very fond of Goldfish,
which comes prepared in boxes of a
certain size, and the boys" had no
ticed that he seldom went to the gro
Gerry without taking back package of
this delicacy, always nearly wrapped
In light colored MANILA paper and
placed on the Top of his basket
The boys" are full of tricks in that
neighborbood and they carefully
planned one on "Old Rocks" One dav
they put it in operation and watched
the result with delight. They lay in
wait for him as he went home from the
grocery, his basket full of purchases
and himself so full of liquor he could
scarcely walk straight. AS he stag
gered along they cautiously took the
Goldfish package from his basket and
replaced it with another parcel which
so closely resembled it in color, size
and weight It would have taken an ex-
pert to have told the difference
"old Rocks reached home, the base
ment fiat of tenement. and prepared
to get dinner for his wife, who had not
yet returned from delivering a parcel
OF laundry. He lighted the fire, put
on some water in dish and then start
ed to unpack the Goldfish to soak it.
He took off wrapper and threw it
on the floor, then picked up the box,
thinking he would open it. There was
another wrapper on it just like the
first.
"Stransh," he said to himself. "Tho't
op'n'd err"
Then he united the second string and
again threw the paper on the floor.
Another one appeared underneath.
Mighty stransh," he said. SHAW
shat grossly man tie Ssh boxsh if he
on'y put one pap'r ont"
Again he took off the wrapper. only
TO find third there.
Then he looked around in fright
ened manner.
. "Won'er f I've got EN- gin. he said,
and steadying himself he surveyed the
box with puzzled air. 1t was APP
parently just as he had taken it from
the grocery man.
Mus get shat fish, he said, and
then he went desperately to work As
fast as he took off one wrapper another
appeared, and he never noticed that the
box was growing smaller.
The floor was covered with strings
and papers, but he worked away, never
even pausing to wipe the perspiration
from his brow.
Mus have shat fish fur IN wife, he
mumbled and muttered.
Finally, just as his wife came home.
he came to the end of the wrappers, and
in a small box was little sardine. He
seized it in his hand. waded through
the paper on the floor to the stove,
placed it carefully in the water and
said to his wife, who stood looking in
mute establishment at the scene:
"Knew shat fish wash ashore. Boun
{ get i'm er die
Then he fell, exhausted. in the paper
wrappears, and the "bovs" sneaked
away from window holding their
sides, while the wife cleared away the
rubbish N. Y. Herald.