The state republican. (Jefferson City, Mo.) 1871-1896, 1893-03-02
HELLO THERE, BLAND
The 0ne-Ga'lOused Democracy ELECTS
Postmaster.
A Private Promoted to the Rank Of
Colonel.
From All Quarters by Statesmen
Of High and Low Degree.
A Biz Vote that No Doubt Includes q Good
Many Republicans.
The Successful Candidate Calls Up Bland
Why the Furniture King" Was Sat Upon.

Why the Furniture King" Was Sat Upon.
Since the fantastic exhibitions of
the Democratic club, in which The
heads of the priyates were chopped
off and dropped in the bottomless
pit Of political hopelessness, the demo-
Gratis have had nothing to do but 10
discuss and scheme and work and
twist in the hope Of getting their
particular favorite in line for the
postofice. The scramble for this
fat and desirable place was recogniz.
ed by the leaders of the party and
they decided in order to appease the
ambition of all in this land OF free.
dom, where every democrat wants an
Office. they should be given a chance
to test their strength and an election
was accordingly ordered. 1t was
ordered by the Democratic club, the
dictator and boss Of political move
ments, and the beheader of political
statesmen.
AS soon as the order was promul.
gated, the aspirants obeyed as a
lamb obeys when led to slaughter.
That Mr.. Bland was ultimately to
pass upon the claims OF the individ.
ual elected, vas not for a moment
allowed to ruffle the even temper of
the one-galloused statesman. The
| club that could behead democrats
ought to he able to boss the job of
debating a postmaster, and doubt
did not for a moment enter into the
subject in hand.
The candidates were glad to see
their friends. They shook hands
with them on every corner, as ifHhey
were long.lost brothers and all they
wanted was an opportunity to kill
the fatted calf. They did not only
shake hands, but they would extend
their hands down into their pockets
pail out a wheel and give it to
John and tell him to go in and 'set
'em up to the boys" But they did
more than this; they were so we'll
] pleased with the world, that they
brought the voters to the polls in
carriages and did everything to make
them comfortable and happy. Free,
all free to the voter!
As the time for the election near.
ed. the excitement grew and several
blooming, prospective and aspiring
statesmen fell by the road side and
left the field to their more determin-
ell competitors. The race finally mar
rowed down to five candidates
Vaughan, Brakeman, Moore, Helm
richs and Ferguson.
We intimated to our friends in
the early part Of the week that Geo,
Vaughan knew a good thing when he
saw it, and was after this one in o
manner that foreboded evil to his
competitors, but We we're laughed a,
and told that we we're q tender-foot
in politics; that George was not in
the race, but that it was Mr.. Moore
who would win. We whispered oul
opinion TO others and were quietly
taken aside and informed that Brede
mann had the pull; that he would
get the whole Catholic vote, the Who'll,
prison vote and he would divide tn.
colonies and the privates. We
thought perhaps we knew very littI'
about politics, and began to believ'
the other fellow, but we have beel
NllulCdltu. Luz iCSuit VI thc clcC
ton shows that we were a prophet
that we knew whereof we spoke ant
that the other fellow was the tende
foot.
The following Is the vote:
Vaughan 23
Bredelnann ............... ...... I'll
Moore 80. III
iIeinrichs. .... 8
Ferguson ....... !
! TOTAL ......'. -. ...'......''''. OF
The sad feature Of the contest wa
; The avalanche that fell OF the skiing.
!, The King was always regarded q
a shrcwd politician but he made
mistake in this campaign. That a,
counts for his trouble and his failuI
to get the prize. The king had
good ticket In the lottery and til
, chances were that he would get th
capital prize, but his over anxiet
t led him into a grave error. In q
unguarded moment he dumped til
fat into the fire. lie was always
true hlue ~colonel and hp vas. sura 1