The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1893-12-15
GODS, taking with him the warriors long

woods, taking with him the warrior's long
spear.
In less than an hour he returned with
couple of fat pullets, and small pig, and
peck of early rose potatoes disposed
about his person in a manner that would
have done credit to the Kings conjuror.
''And now" said he, as he laid his booty
on the ground, ''we will light IRE in the
stove.''
''What stove ?'' exclaimed my ancestor in
amazement.
81 will show you," replied AimIess,
chow necessity can create out of apparent
ly incongruous materials satisfactory
e-burning, seIf-feeding and self-regula-
ting Sunshine range and heater combined,
warranted likewise. to save fuel and re-
duce the cost of living one-half.''
Speaking thus, he took the warriors iron
iron bOdy-piece and placed it upon several
stones, in an upright position, In a few
few minutes he had attached the arm
pieces, thus constructing a stovepipe, and
filing the continuance with leaves and
wood, in less than quarter of an hour he
had merry fire blazing therein. Filling
the helmet with water, he placed it upon
the opening in the armOr for the knights
neck and left it to boil, while he prepared
the chickens. These he put into the pot
with the potatoes to boil. Then, taking
the knights shirt of chain, he drove four
stakes in the ground at equal distances,
and suspended the garment in such man
ner that, when he had lighted the fire be-
meath, it served as a gr1diron to broil the
porker upon.
''Now," said Aimless, as he removed the
porker from the gridiron, and, placing it
upon my ancestors shield, began to carve
it with the sword, "just spear them poul-
try and taters outen the pot, and we'll be-
gin the banquet"
My ancestor fshed out the chickens and
potatoes, and they fell to.
ga couple of perfectos would just finish
this about right" said AimIess with sigh,
as he lay back against tree for awhile.
Then he filed the stove with more wood,
and said:
"We'Il keep that going all night and
snooze right alongside of it, which they
did.
In che morning they warmed over the
remnants of the feast and proceeded on
their way. AS they neared my ancestors
castle, Walker began to muse, as one who
meditates putting up a job, but the warrior
did not perceive it, as he was busy pushing
the wheelbarrow. Suddenly Walker broke
out:
"Strikes me, my lord, that it were an I'M
seemly entrance to your city that you make.
Perchance 'twere wiser to resume your
metallic toys and go in some STYLE"
My ancestor assented to this, and with
the pilgrims help entered his armor, and
Walker fastened the combination lock.
Then the base, ignoble churl rapidly
trundled the supine and hapless knight to
an obscure street in the lowest and most
questionable part of my ancestors town,
down near the river, and opening his visor,
gagged him with piece of cloth torn from
his new coat-of-arms.
Chuckling with fiendish glee, he then
proceeded until he came to the junk-shop
of William Slathers. afterward Earl
Slathers, the first of what became noble
English family, and there he sold the ar
NOR and weapons, my ancestor included,
as old iron at cents a pound.
He then decamped.
| SlatherS, in examining his bargain a
little later, discovered concealed within,
the person of his Iiege lord. Between the
shock of finding him thus, and realiZin
| that he had been buncoed into buying
! 125 pounds of my ancestors as old iron
| he almost lost his mind.-Walt McDOuga
| in New York World.