davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-06-27
FUN.

Mrs. Fangle-I must say you nave
your husband well trained. Mrs.
Cumso-Yes; I commenced to sit on
him as soon as we became engaged.
Wiggs-I heard about your being
rotten egged at Boonville; it was a vile
shame. Actor Futlites-Oh, I don't
know; there were three or four good
ones among 'em.
Tom (of Pittsburg)-Did you see the
Aurora Borealis while you were East9
Laura (of Oshkosh)-No. You know
there r very few theatres open at this
season of the year.
Visitor-Why, Maud, your grand
mother is not very old. Maud-Well,
she must be, cause yesterday she was
telling me what a good boy George
Washington was, and how'd she know
if she didn't see him?.
Old Martel-Whiskey has very diff
ferent effects in different parts of the
city. Rowne de Bout-You don't say
so9 Old Martel-On the Bowery it
causes drunkenness, on Wall street alco-
holism, and on Fifth avenue heart
failure.
Chow did Nh. Comoften treat you
when you called on him with our bill9
Was he annoyed, or was he angry9"
asked Mr.. ~Promptpay of his new col
lector. "Oh, no sir; quite the contrary;
| hn MO- ~ o01iEn Aho% ho oToD oC6oS 00n
to call again."
She-Does the fact that l have
money make any difference to you,
dearest! He-Of course it does, my
own. 1t such a comfort to know that
if I should die you would be provided
for. She-But suppose I should die7
He-Then I would be provided for.
You look awfully blue. What is
the matter with you2" THAT editor
has sent back my last batch of poems.
I wish I knew how to get his good
will" ''That's easy enough DONE"
"How am 1 to do it to put him in good
humor?" Don't send him any more of
your poetry"
Johnny" said his mother, eff you
don't quit smoking cigarettes you won't
grow a bit" Don't care if I DON'T"
responded Johnny. sullenly. And,
of course" continued the good moman,
eff you don't get any bigger you will
still have to wear clothes made from
your fathers old ones" 81 CUES iii
quit, ma"
It's singular that the man who can't
sleep nights in a bed, with every win
dow up and no superauous attire, can
drop into a chair after dinner in a back
Office, where the temperature is 1O5
degrees and where flies do battle, and
can sleep so sound that he can't see the
man with the bill for pew rent or hear
the jingle of the telephone.
Complaining Passenger-This train
makes abominably slow time. Can't
you persuade the engineer to get up a
little more steam9 Stocal Conductor
Time suits us. If you are dissatisfied,
get ont and walk. Complaining Pas
senger-I would if it were not for one
thing: I sent word for my wife's folks
to meet me at the station, and it would
be exasperating to wait half a day for
the train to get in.
Young Wife-My dear, you were the
stroke car at college, weren't you!
Young Husband-Yes, love. And a
very prominent member of the gym
nastic class7 I was the leader. And
quite a hand al all athletic ~exercises9
Quite a hand? My gracious! I was
champion walker, the best runner, the
head man at lifting heavy weights,
and as for carrying7 I could shoulder
a barrel of -four and-Well, love, just
please carry the baby a couple of
hours; I'm tired.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-06-27
THE VERY BEST

Husband-Have you completed your
list of persons to be invited to the re-
ception?
Wife-Yes.
H.-You have invited only the best
people9
W.-The very best.
H examining the list)-And these
are all2
Wall, excepting the two de.
tectives, who are to be here incog. to
see that nothing is stolen.-New York
Press
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-06-27

Subscribe now to The PROGRESSIVE
FARMER.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-06-27
THEY WERE NOT POLITE.

"When I was down in North Caro-
lima last" remarked the drumm 9r, II
met a mountain beauty who was in
Asheville for a days sight seeing. She
was tall and angular, and her calico
dress and limp sun bonnet of the same
material chung to her as if they had no
other support in the wide world. I
met her in the railroad station waiting
for a train, and she spotted me on
sight.
"Ain't you a drummer3" she in
quired.
"'I'm a travelling salesman I re
piled. What will you have9'
81 wantto know about my train, an
Their amt nobody round that seems
to know anything. Drummers know it
ALL, she laughed.
"ItOld her what she wanted to know,
and then she pranced off.
81 wuz over thar in the mems side
Nv the depot, a while ago. she said,
lookin' round, and when I went in
thar every man wUz smokin', and the
way they treated me was real insultin'.
"You didn't expect them to stop
smoking when you came in, did you9'
I asked. That's their waiting room,
you know, and they have the right
of way
"She tapped the floor with the toe of
her big calfskin shoe for a moment.
But they might have been polite,
she commended weakly.
"What did you want them to do9'
"Well, some of EN- and here she
pouted, might a. axed me to somke.'
"Then I offered her my cigar case
and she took all I had and smiled
Detroit Free Press.
TEN YEARS BETWEEN DRINKS.
Mr.. Samuel Blackwell of Alabama,
the newly appointed Third Auditor Of
the Treasury, is an instance of what 6
genuine man can do in the way o.
curbing his appetite or shaking off 6
dangerous habit when he makes up his
mind for a long but winning fight. He
returned to Selma at the close of the
war a young and very attractive fel
low of a strongly social disposition, anG
promptly fell in love with n of the
bellies of the town that is noted in thC
Southland for it's beautiful women
The affection was mutual, but Black
well, like so many other youngsters il
the ranks, had acquired a thirst which
he proceeded to slake whenever thu
humor seized him. The lady of hi
heart finally told him that she would
marry him, but upon n condition
only.
What is that?" he asked.
"That you shall not swallow a droI
of intoxicating liquor for ten years."
'Thatis a long time between drinks,
said he.
ST know it is" she said, &C."
"Will you wait that Tonga" heI in
quired.
She replied that she would. He re
sponded, "All right" and went out
They were faithful during the decad
of his probation. At the end of tn
time they were married. Mr.. Black
we'll has vigorously refrained ever sine
the day when he set his hat squared,
on his head and walked out of hi
sWeetheart'spa rlor.- Washington Post
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
TO SIDE TRACK HAWAII.
A Plan for Taking the Matter From
the House.

A Plan for Taking the Matter From
the House.
There is a proposition coming from demo-
Gratis to involve the Hawaiian question in
an investigation by a special committee, and
thus to draw 1t out of the House, avoiding
as much of the irritation and danger to the
party from Mr.. Cleveland's course as possi-
BILE. 1t is the intention of Mr.. Bourke Cock
ran to introduce a resolution which will be
sent to committee for action, resolving
that, whereas it has come to public knowl-
edge that an attempt has been made by the
executive of the United States to acquire
territory, without consulting the House on
the subject, that therefore a special COM
mittee be appointed to investigate the mat
ter and ascertain whether or not such an
attempt has been made without consulting
the House at any time. The design is to
have the resolution broad enough to cover
the proposition rot only for annexation dur
ing the Harrison administration, but to go
into the whole general question of similar
propositions before that time, both as to
Hawaii and as to territory which has been
acquired. for the purpose of showing what
has been the established policy of this gov
ernment, and to establish the rights of the
House to participate in negotiations for the
acquisition of territory.
The political object of this of course is
to distract attention as far as possible from
the issue which Mr.. Cleveland has raised by
his treatment of the Hawaiian question and
to obscure his effort to restore the queen by
vastly enlarged the whole fell of investiga-
ton. 1t is probable that this resolution will
be met on the other hand by one directing
an Investigation into the course OF Mr.
Cleveland's administration in the Hawaiian
matter, and 1t is understood that the demo-
Gratis, while they would be glad to avoid
such Investigation, will not deem IT safe to
attempt to smother it, IL it is pressed.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
TARIFF REPORTS.
Both VIII BE Presented in the House
Tomorrow.

Both VIII BE Presented in the House
Tomorrow.
The reports on the tariff bill by the demo-
Gratis in support of the Wilson bill and by
the republicans in antagonism to it are ex-
pected to be presented to the House tomor-
row. MIR. Wilson, who has been !aboriny en-
his report for some time, mas no, yet quite
completed it, but it will probably be in.shed
some time today, SO as 10 be presented to-
morrow. 1t is a complete analysis CT the
bill, coupled with n declaration of demo-
cratic principles and the treatment of the
tariff question from the anti-protection
standpoint.
The Minority Report.
The minority report Is a voluminous docu-
ment, proposing no new legislation but
criticising and assaulting severely the Will
son bill and poin. ling out the advantages
which they claim have come to the country
through the Mckinley bill. 1t will lie held
in this report that ,he hearings before the
ways and means committee disclosed that
the Mckinley bill far exceeded the expecta-
tions OF its most ardent supporters IN the
benefits which it brought TO the coun,Iy.
VindicatiOn OF the Mckinley Bill.
1t will be pointed out that even in those
cases where the attempt to develop new in
dustries in this country was attended with
the most doubt and uncertainty the result
was an entire vindication Of the bill and tar
exceeded the most sanguine expectations Of
the republicans. The tin-plate industry and
the industries in the higher grades Of manu-
factures, such as plushes, will be indicated
as examples Of the unexpected success of
the provisions of the bill 1t will be claimed
that the Mckinley bill has been beneficial
to the country in all it's operations; that it
has brought prosperity in it's wake and that
this prosperity was not checked until the
country brought face to face with the
danger of it's repeal and the enactment of
tariff legislation by the democrats.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
OFFICIAL REPORT.
The Board Tells of the Trial of the
Cruiser New York.

The Board Tells Of the Trial Of the
Cruiser New York.
The official report Of the naval board that
conducted the final trial Of the cruiser New
York was received at the Navy Department
Saturday. After enumerating a number Of
minor defects. the board submits the opin-
ion:
First That the guns. gun carriages and
turrets, their fittings and appurtenances
work properly and that the ship is well
built and sufficiently strong to stand the
shock caused by firing.
Second. That the hull. engines, boilers
and dependencies have not upon this trial
exhibited any weakness, breaking down or
deterioration.
During the two hours trial at sea under
full boiler power at natural draft the high
est steam pressure was 160 lbs. the average
steam pressure was 14O lbs; highest number
of revolutions, 112; average number Of reyo-
lutions, 1O6.
The mean speed at full power at natural
draft, shown by two Bliss patent logs,
was 1884 knots. This low speed was prob
ably due to the poor quality of the coal
used, to great draught Of water and to foul
bottom.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
FIGHTING AT RIO.
Firing Between the Forts ana the
Fleet for Five Day..

LONDON, Dec. 1s.-A dispatch from Ber-
lin says that an official message has been
received there from Rio de Janeiro. saying
that incessant firing between the govern
ment forts and the insurgent fleet has been
going on for the last few days.
NEW YORK, Dec 1s-The Herald has
the following cable dispatch from Pernam-
buco. Brazil:
The cruiser Nictheroy. purchased by the
Brs lillian government in New York, ar
rived here on wedi esday. but was not
formally delivered to the Brazilian authori-
ties as fighting ship until Saturday.
There is already trouble with the crew.
Those who enlisted in New York demand
very high pay for re-er listment for service
in the Brazilian navy, although IL was well
understood before sailing that they were
expected to re-enlist for active service when
a Brazilian port was reached.
Representatives of President Peixoto re-
fuse to allow the demands of the crew and
will ship a new crew of Brazlians here.
The Nictheroy will go TO Bahia from here
and. thence to Rio Janeiro.
The America was left at Fort De France
repairing the damages she met with on the
trip down.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
The War Declared On.

Gen. Don Caesar Canevaro. minister from
Peru. returned to Washington today after
an absence OF some days He says there is
no foundation for the report that war is
likely to grow out OF troubles with Ecuador
over the boundary line between that coun-
try and Peru. The controverted territory.
although OF considerable extent, is not in
habited. and neither country is likely to re-
sort to extreme measures over IT, The mat
ter has been submitted TO the arbitration OF
the Queen OF Spain, and her decision will
doubtless now be awaited without further
attempts OF the two countries to settle the
question.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18

during the year of those who violated the
pension laws. and said that the declaration
that thousands of localities contain those
drawing fraudulent pensions was unwar-
ranted and unjustifiable.
Mr.. Van Voorhis IN. " defended the
soldiers. and said that they were entitled
to all they receive; that pensions We're a
vested right, and that an annual appeal
could not be taken from one Judge TO
another Of the same jurisdiction. If Grover
Cleveland. or any other man, suspended a
pensioner VINO had legally obtained his pen
sion. he should be impeached, as 1t was a
violation of the law.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
Baron Fava's Movement.

press dispatch from Rome Indicates that
Signor Catalina, Italian minister to Dem
mark, may be sent to Washington to re-
lieve Ambassador Fava, who is said to be
booked for a European mission. Baron
Fava is In New York. and the officers of the
embassy were unable to affirm or deny the
report.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
THE ENGINEER CORPS,
Three Teams Take Their Turn at
Rifle Practice.

Y
Rifle Practice.
Three teams from the engineer corps
took their turn at the National Guard rifle
gallery Saturday night and made some
very creditable totals. The scores were as
follows:
Company A.-Sergt Dickey. AZ; Scott. 46;
Sergt. Tallmadge. 45: Carleton. a; Stam-
baugh. ~; Taylor. "A; Gapen. Al; Corp.
Shaw. ~: Calladay. 81. Total. $50.
Company B.-Corp. Hadger. 43: Tegethoff,
Al; Corp. Kline. Al; Sergt Barry, Al;
Wheeler, Al; Corp. Scott 3s; Miller, 81;
McCauley, 81; Barry, %. Total. 342.
Company Corp. johnson. A; Rose, 43;
Stevens. A.; Sergt. Dennison, Al; Sergt
Chandler. %. Total. 1872.
Lieut.. G. b. Young ofiiciated as inspector
of rifle practice for the corps, and acted as
range oficer. Capt. Bell, inspector of rifle
practice for the second regiment, acted as
scorer.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
GOING TO LAKEWOOD.
Probable That Mr.. and Mrs. Cleveland
Will Go There shortly.

Will Go There Shortly
Now that he has disposed Of the Hawaiian
matter, for a time at least, 1t is likely that
the President and Mrs. Cleveland will
shortly follow out their plan Of spending a
few days at Lakewood. n. j.. before enter
Ing upon the social program of the season.
which will begin with the New Years Day
reception at the White House. The holi-
day recess Of Congress will enable the
President to have short respite from his
official cares, and 1t is believed he will take
advantage of the opportunity. His move
ments are kept secret in order that he NAV
not be bothered with crowds at railroad
stations, but IT need surprise no one If the
President and family should take up their
abode in their Lakewood cottage tomorrow
or next day.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18

The torpedo boat Gushing has arrived at
Delaware City on her way to this city.
The Ranger arrived at Acapulco on her
way to Corinto, Nicaragua.
The Concord and the Monocacy arrived
At Shanghai today.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
Has Authority,

Attorney General Oney has given an opin-
ion that the Secretary of the Treasury has
authority to remit a fine imposed by
United states court on steamships for viola
ton of the immigrant laws
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
Gone to Boston.

Assistant Secretary Hamlin has gone q
Boston to address the Young Mems DEM
ocratic Club on tarifT reform az embodied
in the Wilson tarin bill.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
SECRETARY CARLIsLEs REPORT.
1t Will he Ready for Conversational
Inspection Tomorrow.

Secretary Carlisle has completed the prep
aration OF his annual report and it will be
submitted to Congress Wednesday. 1t en-
bodies an elaborate review of the financial
situation and discusses various plans for it's
Improvement. 1t is unusually long. con-
tanning about 50.O0O words. Secretary Car
lisle has devoted special care to its prepa-
ration and an able state paper may be look
ed for. The financial report usually goes to
Congress on the opening day of the ses-
sion This Is the first time that it has
failed to go in during the first week Of a
Congress.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
THE BRAZILIAN REVOLUTION.
Indications Point to the Fact That II
fs Growing fn Strength.

Senor Mendonca, the Brazilian minister,
was the only visitor to obtain an audience
with Secretary Gresham today He remain
ed at the department for several hours. The
impression is growing that the Peixoto
government is weakening before the deter
mined onslaughts Of the insurgents and that
the end is not very distant There are many
little things that taken together show that
the revolutionary movement is rapidly grow
ing In strength and popular favor and that
Its success is now scarcely more than a
question of time.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18
the Armx and NAVY

Surgeon General Sternberg OF the army
will deliver lecture before the Army and
Navy Club this evening.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18

An index TO advertise.
ments will he found on
Page 3.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-12-18

To a minister of this temper full Of zeal
for annexation there seemed to arise in jan
uary, 1898. the precise opportunity for which
ne was watchfully waiting-an opportunity
which by timely deviation from established
international rules aud precedents" might
be improved to successfully accomplish the
great object in view; and we are quite pre-
pared FOR the exultant enthusiasm with
which In letter to the State Department
dated February 1. 1898, he declares: ''The
Hawaiian pear is now fully ripe and this is
the golden hour for the United States to
pluck it,
As further illustration Of the activity of
this diplomatic representative, attention is
called to the fact that on the day the above
letter was written, apparently unable longer
to restrain his ardor, he issued a proclama-
tion whereby ''in the Eame of the United
States" he assumed the protection of the
Hawaiian Islands and declared that said
action was taken pending and subject to
negotiations at Washington" OF course
this assumption of protectorate was
promptly disavowed by our government. but
the American flag remained over the gov
ernment building at Honolulu and the
forces remained on guard until April. and
:
The Waco evening news. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 1891-1894, 1893-03-18
A Story Applied.

A certain man, supposed to be big
bug heard OF a prophet. The "bls
nug' was diseased with cames and
servants, and gold and silver, with
big charots he proceeded to this
prophet He wanted to be cured, 10
big way. The prophet said. go
,athe sometimes in Jordan" NJ!
Mol said the big bug" That will
not Go, | am one OF your big fellows
aud demand big bug treatment.
Oue of his servants suggested that if
the prophet had advised some big
treatment the "big bug would have
'eadllv accepted. The fellow "got the
dea," did as was sugges ed and was
healed, "ba,hed 10 jordan"
S me "oig bugs" in Waco seem to
h'nk free wagon yard TOO small q
thing for I'M rchants, bankers and 'ead
ing men in Waco to tackle. No! No!
~e all ought to de, in attitudes, la,i-
tudet, plal'udes and dig into the ra, $
Of the sun AID see how much salt is
here! Waco needs bu,iuess and if
a high sounding thing could be starte d
that would bring one fourth as much
rade to Waco as the free wagon yard
some OF these big bugs would be on
fire any time. The pale light of a
Pickering moon beam would strike
them! Ever since the great smallpox
scare in Waco, aud since the electric
cars have taken all our principal streets
Waco has been looslog her retail
trade Ten years ago Waco received
g. 600 bales If cotton, last year about
$1,000 What become of the 20, 900
by wagonl Oh, you say, "we have
more railroads, more towns" Yes,
and we have proporti,nately more
people to feed and m Ike living in
Waco and more people to plant and
grow cotton
We must offer something in lieu of
all these things Railroads alone will
not bring our trade back to US.
Hundreds of little things must be
done. The free wagon yard will do
more than any other one thing. Let
the big bugs" OF Waco cone down
from their chariot aud battle in Jor-
den
The Waco Trading company can
furnish the big bug or the little bugs
house from kitchen to parlor.
Furniture, stoves and carpets, cash
OF easy payments.
j. w. RIGGINs,
Proprietor.
The Waco evening news. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 1891-1894, 1893-03-18
THE STENOGRAPHERS.
Meeting OF the Association Last
Night Social and Instructive.

The Stenographers association OF
Waco met lat night at the residence
of Mr.. Doueherly. on North Eleventh.
as the guest Of Miss Adams. There
being no business m alters TO transact,
the evening was taken up with literary
and so,ial features.
A discussion OF several objects Of
interest to the profession was the main
pat Of the program. MIR. Enon lee
IN the discussion of "Posi,ion in
Shorthand Writing" Miss Warner pre-
>ented a aper on the subj lot "Sh4d
ing" and "Phras,ng in Ph typography
was discussed at length in a pape1
prepared by Mr. Hanrlck. NJ s
Brown rendered the evening delight
ful with some pretty selections OF in
strumen,al music and a qusrtette g
the members enter aimed the club will
some vocal Selectiors