The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-08-06
BRIGHT BITS.

strange, nYlng so long mere, thaJ maven I
Not at all I don't owe you anything -
Chicago Record.
Horse Dealer-I always pick my custo-
mers.
Frlend-Do you? was told that you skinned
them.-BrooAlyn Life.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Th COWS are in the
corn, John.
Mr. Crimson beak-All right dear; the corn
will soon be in the cows--Yonkers States
man.
He-I don't believe you'll ever marry me-
Why, you've already been engaged to nine
she-Ycsi but never married any of them,
George.-Life.
The baby reminds me q great deal Of my
college days" said Funn. "Why?"' asked
Mrs. Funn. principally because its time is
mostly taken up in drinking and yelling -
Philadelphia Record.
At the Wild East Show-Mandy, where are
these camels from do you 'spose?
Mandy-For the land sake, Josiah, I'd think
you'd know from the name that they're from
Scotland.-Chicago InterOcean.
Valuable Time Lost.-Briggs- you have
nice time last night at the reception?
Griggs-Not at first.
Briggs lost nearly thirty minutes trying
to find the punch bowl.-DetrOit Free Press.
This baby of yours seems pretty solid"
said Hankinson, holding Tompkins baby up
in his arms.
of course he is, rotorted Tompkins; Ibid
you think he was platedr-Harpers Bazaar.
Nervous Passenger--Why are you steaming
along at such fearful rate through this fogY
Ocean Captain (reassurtngly) -Fogs are
very, dangerous madam, and I am always in a
hurryto get quito thefn.-New York Weekly.
Shell don't know what 1 should do if
thought you were marrying me for my money.
He-Then, darling, don't think of it. I'm
sure 1t will be ever SO much pleasanter for us
both If you dont.-Stonington Line Bulle-
tin.
This new soap" said the barber, "is very
| nice. 1t is made largely Of cream, with just
little dash of alcohol in it."
We'll, remember I'm temperate man"
returned Dobbers, and don't put any more of
it in my mouth than you can help. National
Barber.
miss Gussie Ould-Oh, my dear, you
know this age is so dreadfully unromanticl
In the old chivalric times everything was so
different
Stella Young-I wasn't aware of it, but it
must be So You ought to know.-New York
| Recorder,
Elder Berry-Joblots made bad break in
church today
Mrs. Berry-What did he do?
Elder Berry-SubScrlbed ten dollars toward
sending DR.. Thirdly to Europe, and offered to
double the amount if they would make it
Africa.-Life.
Swipas docking over the base ball record
Let me see. How do the Chicagos stand?
lands PittSburgS-
Swiggles If you want to get at it quickly
why don YOU begin a the bottom and read
up!-ChIcagO Tribune,
First rramp--If l had my way Ia have 3G5
national holidays in the year.
Second Iramp-HOu would, Ell? and then
there would be one working day every four
years. O, you are nice one, YOU are! You
would make a galley slave Of the poor labor
ing man wouldn't yOuy-TcSas Siftings.
Mistress ! have written out a good charac-
ter for You, though Won have given me but
! little ground for satisfaction.
Departing Cook Wen ma am. as you are
so kind, ought to do something in return
| and so / may tell you that th . key to the
| kitchen fits the pantry door as wel.-Saphlrs
! Witzblatt
! 1t was in the definition class; teacher was
| giving out the words to spell and explaining
| them at the same time
! Nap. nap, that means a little sleep. you
| know, Johnny. kin, kin. that means OF
family, belonging to the family; do you I'M
! derstandy'
Yes, ma am.
| Pretty soon the class was called up again
! and the word napkin" came up
Can any one tell what napkin means?
| What is it," asked the teacher.
| i know, yells Johnny, "a sleepy family"
| -Harpers Young People.