The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-10-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The general run of men-After the
last street car. Philadelphia Record.
The man who falls in love very often
dislocates his common sense.-Puck.
To make bills ishuman; opay them
these days-is divine. - Pittsburg
Bulletin.
Forged notes can always be properly
classed among the gilt-edged paper on
a bank. Chicago Inter-Ocean.
The most popular bird of passage
arriving at the port of New York this
month is the gold eagle. Baltimore
American.
''That," said the man who smote a
calamity howler, sis one of the best
financial strokes l ever made. Wash
ingtSn Star.
The photograph of boy never looks
like him, because no one ever saw n
boy as clean as he is in photograph
--Atchison Globe.
The clerk who attempts to live be-
yond his means will soonbe obliged to
live beyond the reach of his frlends.--'
New Orleans Picayune.
'What sort of girl is she?" och,
she is a miss with mission" "AhY
"And her mission is seeking man
with mansion. Sketch.
Occasionally you will meet n man
who seems to think just ms you do.
What clever ideas he has, and what
pity he is so scarce.-Blizzard.
Jack the Clipper has been arrested
in New York. The girls whose tresses
he cut will be present at his trial to
upbraid him. News.
Customer-'Do you suppose you
can take good picture of me?" Pho
tographer-'I shall have to answer
you in the negative, sir. Vogue.
Unmixed evils rarely occur. "he
fact that money has been tight is said
to have resulted in good deal of
sober thought. Baltimore American.
It's not true that "every man
His price has" as they say
I know of one, an honest man,
Who gives himself away.
A man never looks so helpless and
insignificant as when standing around
a dry goods store waiting for his wife
to get through trading. - Lowell
Courier.
1t is very hard to explain the attrac-
tions of country life to city man who
has lust investigated the voltage of
black-faced bumble-bee. - Baltimore
| American.
"And you are poor?" eyes, but we
are happy" "Happy in your pow
erty?" "Yes, for every one around
us is poorer than ourselves. New
York Press.
Miss Antique-"How mean these
newspapers arel Here is column
headed Proposals, and it is all about
public improvements and such non
sense. The Club.
Mrs. Skidmore (reading) - "Ph !
/ ippa Fawcett, who won such great dis-
! tinction as senior wrangler mt Oxford,
is still unmarried" Mr.. Skidmore--
',No wonder. Detroit Free Press.
Watts-"I can't see what reason
you have for comparing old mel
| Gotrox to sausage. Potts--''be-
cause his stuff is all that makes him OF
any consequence. indianapolis Jo2r-
nal.
Gaswell-'Tm disgusted with young
Mr.. Van Braam." Dukane-"Why?'
"He does nothing but hirt with She
GIRLS" "Then YOU don't like to SEQ
mans efforts all miss directed. -
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
"Can't You settle this bill to-day,
sir?" asked the tailor of the delinquent
MP. "No, Snip, it wouldn't be rsS-
liamentary. I've merely glanced o7er
it, YOU know, and can't pass a. LII
until after its third reading. lid
Bits.
He blushed fiery red; her heart
went pit-a-pat she gently hung her
head, and looked down on the mat.
He trembled in his speech; he roso
from where he sat aud shouted with
screech, ''You're sitting ON my h1tl'-
Tid-Bits.
$50 you only have a weeks vacation
instead of two, this year?' Eyes;
they told me / must either give up
half my vacation or lose th5 situation;
and concluded that half II loaf was
much better than no bread. Brook
lyn Life.
"Men are not TO be trusted she re-
marked TO her younger and moro sue
cessful friend. ooh, my dear, said
her friend, sweetly, "has it taken all
these years to teach you that?' The
silence that followed couldn't be
broken with sleigehammer. De
troit Free Press.
A young lawyer talked four nours
TO Indiana jury who felt like lynch.
ing him. His opponent IA gri2zled
old professional, arose, looked swectly
at the Judge and said: 'Auur honor
will follow the example of nay young
friend, who has just finished, md sub
NIT the case without argument. Then
he sat down, and the silence was large
and oppressive. Christian ut Work.
There are now seventy lines of ocean
T.