River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-02-09
INCOMPATiBlLiTY.
The Serious Mistake That Lies at the
Root of Welded wretchedncss.

The Serious Mistake That Lies at the
Root of Welded Wretchedncss.
Said a brilliant woman, whom not
one of the refined coterie who heard
her thought of calling immoral" AT
eighteen l married, of my own foolish
will, a man of fifty, who adored me.
At twenty had learned that it would
be sin to waste my full young life
the only life l could know this side of
the grave-in so monstrods union.
He was a good man, and, according 10
his lights, model husband. / could
not but respect him, but we had not
one emotion in common. We wera
wholly incompatible in feeling, sem
timent--in nature. Upon this ground,
and this alone, obtained divorce"
Tear away sentimental verbiage and
this woman's case stands thus: Her
husbands ideas and tastes were not. to
her apprehension, favorable 20 the de-
velopment of what she slSetched as the
life she ought to lead. Her individual
happiness outranlSed all other consid-
erations in her mind. The marriage
vow, uttered of her own free will. be-
cause she then fancied that she was
forwarding her selfish interests by the
union, became a rope of sand when in
clination veered to another quarter.
There is an extreme OF altruism
which is fanatical Bald egoism of the
type here avowed can never be any.
thing but contemplate.
1t Is sound If homely wisdom to make
the best of bad bargain. Our repre-
sentative Incompatible made the worst
of one that, to dispassionate judges. was
only doubtful. Carlyle's caustic re.
minder to the complaining egoist that
"there is no act of parliament to the
effect that thou shouldst be happy"
comes intelligently here. The appel
liant at twenty, against her eighteen.
year-old self, was by her own confes-
sion incapable of standing in her lot
and conquering circumstance. In de-
handing that everything in her en-
vironment should be suspicious to her
growth in the direction indicted by
wilful imagination, she testified to her
inability to bear and TO perform what
Providence or fate or her own ill-judged
desires had brought to her.
Wedlocl is not Eden any more than
men and women are angels while wear
ing the garment of mortality. The
united pair. turning from the altar, al.
belt one in name, and for the time, in
heart. are no more made perfect in pa
thence and wisdom than in holiness and
in happiness. How they fare in the
novel state, entered upon with unques-
tioning eagerness, will depend as much
upon the discipline of temper and will.
and the practice of the every day graces
of mercy, goodness and truth, as if each
had continued to lead an existence de.
tached from the other, and been com.
peeled to defer to the whims of blood rel
atives, and to consult to wishes OF
chance associates.
The serious mistake that lies at the
root of this form of welded wretched.
ness is the fatuous belief in one an
others perfection, without which ballad
makers and romance writers tell us
marriage is a moclkery. Nobody car
live up to standard as false as it is
mischievous. Husbands and wives are
as fallible as il they had never been in
love, and hoped, through love, to find
terrestrial heaven. There is noblei
use than the pursuit of personal happi-
ness for the mutual affection which,
thanks to Him who implanted it. yields
but slowly 10 the pressure of crucia,
disappointment. 1t is refined, strength
ened by sustained effort to rise superior
to the disposition to seek out infirmi.
ties and to punish wrong doing. With
each victory over selfish ease and de.
sire it approximates the love that tc
gentlest long suffering adds belief and
hope in all good and gracious POSSIBLE
ties.-Marion Harland, in Harpers
Bazar.