Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-08-14
IIUMOR OF THE DAY.

make nay Wnlle the sun shihes.
When a man is generous to fault,
it is never one of his wife g. Chicago
er-Ocean.
People speak of the face of note,
when it's really the figure that inter
ests them. Sparks
A small boy says if time is made of
days and nights, it must be striped like
a circus zebra. a.-Puck.
1t is contended that there is nothing
in a name, and yet about all one has is
in it. t.--Galveston News.
The man who strikes for shorter
hours is always willing to except the
one allowed for dinner. Puck.
Independence is the inclination to
mind ones own business, combined
with the ability to do so. Puck.
A great deal of repentance nowadays
lis done in broadcloth and ashes of
roses, instead of sackcloth and ashes.
Texas Siftings.
No girls musical education is con-
sidered complete these days until she
can sing as if she were having her teeth
pulled. d.-Atchison Globe.
A correspondent wants to know if it
is "the correct thing to eat shad with
fork only" 1t would be safer to eat
it with sieve. Statesman.
The chappie of to-day is the old
fashioned dude dipped in a little de-
pravity. He has just brains enough to
be nuisance. Texas Siftings.
She" "How do you suppose the apes
crack the hard shells of the nuts they
pick" He-"With monkey wrench,
of course. American Hebrew.
Alas for the story Of gloom
That l. chasesa ,. a chill through the biooii
~ And so eonsludes d wI with a sickeninp oTi tbud
Washington Star.
The peck of trouble we hear so much
about, if handled properly, could be
easily gotten into quart measure
without knocking the bottom out
Puck.
Struckile-'I am beginning to think
that one,s opcestors aro ;mnortant -
NJ. Nd. e.vo IL
MISS Mcbean- es, they come undef
xuo no"'' poi '"A'' - 'i"o'
vogue
NO matter how timely the display
window OF store may be htted up,
the pretty young lady clerk Will always
prove counter attraction. -Rochester
democrat
You have all seen the little thimble'
sized after dinner coffee cups, that are
SO awkward to handle; well. that's the
size OF most mems cup OF Joy.-Atchi
son Globe.
johnny Mamma, can't you tell me
q new fairy story?" Mrs. Braggs-"1
don't know any, Johnny. Maybe your
father will tell me some when he comes
in tonight. Bulletin.
"Here, mamma, is the clock key.
Will that do?" 'Do for what2
"Why, for you. I heard you saying
n while ago that you were all run
| down. Rochester Democrat.
Little slots for nickels,
open-mouthed but dumb,
Woda of 'mIO "hauin s.nVu"i Na',',
Detroit Free Press.
woman will face frowning world
and cling to the man she loves through
, the most bitter adversely but she
wouldn't wear a bonnet that was out
of fashion to save the Government -
Tit-Bits.
Husband Cant help you pack
that trunk?" Experienced Wife
Eyes, you can help me immensely by
going straight in town to your office
and leaving me to pack it as see fit. u
-Somerville Journal.
.Is Sir Robert Paulton n very tin,
man, mammal" inquired little Maud
earnestly. "No, my dear, not very.
Why do you ask?" because father
says he's to sit on your right hand a.
dinner tonight. Funny Folks.
"Bovs." said the teacher, 1--WE mus,
all work in this world. Did any Of
you ever get something for nothing?"
''Yes," replied every boy in the room.