The record-union., 1893-03-22

least hope in the world that it viii help
her give up this foolish and heather Gus
tom-of artificial color and form.
Elk GROVE.
Tryphena and Old Crank Settle the
State Capital Question.
Tryphena - Now that the legislators
of the State have removed the Capital to
San Jose, for, of course, we can consider
it a feat accomplished, for the people are
bound TO uphold their representatives in
whatever they may do, the question
arises: What shall be done with the old
CapitoR ! have plan, which, if carried
out. will supply a long-felt, though an
comprehended want, and which Will un-
doubtedly be the longest stride towards
civilization which this or any State has
ever made. No matter what the motives
OF the Legislature were ii the establish
ment OF this scheme shall be the result of
their action their names will deSerYedly
shine most brilliantly on the rolls of
fame, and posterity will look with
wonder on the workings OF Providence,
which accomplishes so much good
through the pettish actions OF a few
lallibIe lawmakers, and our city will
have no cause to mourn; for, instead of
loss, the result will prove great gain, not
only TO the city but to the State and to
other states and to the world at large
for, when the glorious benefits to man
kind are once fully shown and estab-
IIsAed by precedent, all countries will
surely rush 10 follow our example.
Old Crank-Why. Tryphena, / never
knew you to be so enthusiastic unless it
was on the theme of mons inconsisten-
cies. Please explain your idea.
Tryphena-N ell, my idea is intended
to remedy one of your greatest inconsist-
encieS. ! suppose you will admit that
training Is necessary for the successful
practice OF any occupation? The tailor,
the shoemaker, the carpenter, the black
smith, the jeWeler, the doctor, the lawyer,
the preacher, in short every occupation
OF man or woman requires preliminary
teaching before the individual is compe-
tent to undertake it.
Old Crank-Certainly 4 person would
make poor showing at almost anything
unless they had been taught how to do il.
Tryphcna-And yet. for the most i'm
portant occupation on earth-that Of law
making-yOu pick up Tom. Dick and
larry, VINO, no matter what their natural
talents and abilities may be. have never
had minutes teaching for that work,
and set them to making laws, and expect
from them nothing less than perfection.
No wonder that the country is Hooded
with courts ana educated lawyers trying
to pick Gut the applicable laws and to eX-
pam lilGtll 81 tlidj iHcN CJI DC utteu 10
whatever case may be on trial. Now !
propose that we tale our eX-C1pitol and
use il Tor Il political university, where
Statecrait shall be taught III ali OF its
branches, and irom-which every aspirant
fNr public Office, from Constable to Prcsi-
dent, shall be required to graduate with
sufficient knowledge To H. him for the
office he aspires to before he is allowed to
solicit an election or appointment
cid CrarE-HOld on, Irvphena: YOU
DON'T know what You are talking about.
Ten buildings like our old Capitol woula
not hold haIi Cf the aspirants for public
Offices.
Tryphena after a few moments rehec-
tiOnj-N ell, old Crank, | believe you are
right for oncc; SO we will make this a
legislative university, where aSpirants to
become legislators shall be thoroughly
taught the requirements needed to make
firSt-c!ass lcgislator-irom honesty, in-
iegrity, unseInshne,s and incorIuptibll-
ity, 10 the use Uf language which cannot
be misunderstood, or miSconstrued; ana
to the periclt harmony which shouId eX-
list in every code throughout all OF its
parts. and to the strict, impartial Justice
which should be melted alike to high and
low, rich and poor, from millionaires to
tranps.
Old Crank-Well, Tryphena, such leg!s-
lators would be marvel TO the world.
and 1 am not sure but the manUtacture OF
legislators would prove as profitable to
our city and beneficial to mankind as
many other manufactures.
GID CRANK.