The Forrest City times. [volume] (Forrest City, Ark.) 1871-1919, 1893-01-13
THE ADJECTIVE VENDOR.
Illustrating the Past and Present
Styles in These Words.


"Adjectives to sell, Adjectivcs to sell.
Nice sharp adjectives. Sweet round adj
jectives! Adjectives to sell.'
The adjective vendor stood on a sun
ny corner. His pack was slung across
his back by means of Il string. The
strilg was made of long adiectives.
and when the vendor sold one from it,
he linked on another taken from his
pack. In that way the string never
grew too short to fasten about him.
The adjective vendor was a wideawake
man. He had travelled far, and had
friends in all parts of the world. He
had now just returned from the Arctic
regions, where he had been to collect
oddities with which to replenish his
stock. He was glad of the sun on the
street corner, and finally decided to
take up his station there for the day.
Good people all.
Give me 4 call
ne sang out, as he arranged his stock
on little counter by the side of the
walk.
Here's for young ladies! The latest
goods for gents. Just imported, Here's
for the magazines. Fresh adjectives.
Give us CALI
''Oh! the dear things" exclaimed a
young woman who was passing. She
looked longingly at the vendors wares.
II do love them" she unused. How
much is that one with the frilled edge?'
Not much" said the VENDOR with a
courteous smile. But will it become
you?"
May / take it home to try?'' said the
young woman.
Free of charge" answered the ven
dor, with deep bow.
Those snowy goods have all gone
out, if she did but know it." he muir
INJURED to himself. She'll appear like
fool. but that's not my affair"
An old man drew near. and, putting
on his glasses, stopped over the wares.
"Pshaw" said he, these gimcracks
are nothing like the adjectives of my
day. The world is growing foolish, p"
and with a motion of disgust he moved
on.
Il must look up something for him"
thought the vendor. 1T will pay
'Adjectives, sir?'
This remark was addressed to an
erect prim gentleman, who had not
apparently noticed the vendor.
Il never use them" said the stiff
gentleman, without turning his head.
The vendor shrugged his shoulders.
But he was soon conSoled for the re-
buff He spied bevy Of schoolgirls
coming down the street. He drew his
feet together, aHl down he went in so
deep a bow that the cap in his hand
swept the ground.
Good morning, ladies. Those on
that side are for gents" he added,
hastily, as he perceived his customers
hocking to the wrong side of the coun-
ter
These are the thing, of course, ;"
sad a short, round miss with Il prom
inent chin. Have you the latest from
Yale?"
Yes" said the vendor but he looked
bewildered. The world, it seemed, had
been marching on during his stay in
the Arctic regions. But he was a
ready, shifty man.
IF you like those rough goods,
ladies, ! can show you any variety
The gents sometimes use them strung
together. but you only want an odd
one now and then, judge"
mo. indeed" said the former speak
er. II shall have mine strung together.
What do you say, girls?"
The girls pounced upon the vendors
goods. and rolled them over, and turned
them over and talked them over. Such
great, hard articles as they chose.
Some of the gentlest of the buyers
could hardly grasp their purchases,
but that only made them laugh the
harder
''Kittie's got the nobbiest lot!' they
all exclaimed, as, laden with purchases,
they departed up the street Kittie
was the short maiden, and she had
truly chosen the longest an the most
bizarre of the articles for sale.
The vendor of adjectives was tired.
He sat down upon the curbstone and
wiped his brow.