Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-09-30

the collector: "A due, kind friends, a
due!"-Cleveland Plaindealer.
YACHTING costumes for women are
far more stylish than nautical. They
yacht not to be so.-Troy Press.
TEACHER-John returned the book.
In what case is book? Dull boy latter
q long Observation-Disclosures. Good
News.
"s1zzARD" is a syggignocism used
to define hot wave or wind, and is
particularly appropriate just now
Lockport Union.
WHEN a woman calls her son to
come just "for a minute, he knows
she wants him to work an hour
AtchisOn Globe.
A CAT may look at king, but she
wants to keep both eyes open when
she looks at the family hotel janitor.
Somerville Journal.
If some people think they can
crawl through the needles eye into
heaven they're going to get stuck. -
Philadelphia Times.
CONFINEMENT is better than riches,
but it takes about the same amount
OF money for the one as the other
Chicago Inter Ocean.
@AFTER the bawl is over" the baby's
father can leave of dancing up and
down the floor at midnight, and
sleep. Boston Gazette.
VIs1ToR-Your river is really very
bad. Loyal Chicagoan = But Just
think how bad it would be il it were
worse.-Chicago Record.
A BASEBALL pitcher should never
lind fault, else the crowd might
straightway proceed to work the
growler.-Roston Transcript.
CoRN-BLossoMs are the fashionable
flowers in Paris. They we're always
the rage in Kentucky and are worn
on the nose.-Chicago Tribune.
CLARA-"How has your dress
maker been treating your" Maud
"Oh, splendidly. But she has been
suing father. Detroit Free Press
"D1cK doesn't seem to have Sc
much interest in the races as he
used" well, no. He's putting the
principal there ow."-Detroit Trib-
une.
How MUCH easier it seems to be to
advertise the finding of handker-
chief with hole in the corner than
a purse with dollar in the corner
Dansville Breeze.
THE burlesque actress who fell
through a hole in the sidewalk in
Louisville and broke her leg feels al
bad as Patti would il she had caught
cold.-Boston Globe.
TIaHTPURsE (who has been resist
Ing demand for loan)-"Well, If I
should lend you $40 what would YOU
do?' The Borrower (waxing indig-
nant)-"Think it case of mistaken
Identity"
BRoaas-"Hello, Mulligau. haven't
seen We for month. I heard We had
gone to work" Mulligan (indig-
nantly)-"Work? Nav. I've been
cleaning the streets for Tom Bren.
nan. Life.
Boaas you might talk until
doomsday and you couldn't convince
me that dueling isn't murder" Riggs
All right. I'll take you over to
France with me and let you see some
OF Troy Press.
A MASTER butcher had twins. He
AZ once announced the fact to his
parents as follows: II write in great
haste to inform you that my wife has
Just presented me with a couple of
WINS More next time!"-
BOte.
NERVOUS -"Wby are
you steaming along at such a fearful
ate through this fog?" Ocean Can
ain (reassuringly)-"Fogs are very
dangerous, madam, and am always
q hurry to get out Of them. New
York Weekly.
FIRST BoY-Is that a good watch
log? Second Boy-No "Good bird
log?" Nope" Good for rabbitspn
Nope" KNOWS some tricks, NAV
'e?" "Nixie" what is he good
orr" "Nawthin', only to take prizes
t dog shows. Good News.
IT may be observed in the general
in Of embarrassed banks and f1nan-
ial agencies that many of them
7ouldn't be in such straitened cir
IL there weren't some
rocked circumstances ACCOMPANYING
hem.-Philadelphia Ledger
Miss LAURA-"Oh, auntie! Yon
Mr. Meeker, who went
rom here as a missionary? I have
lst heard that those awful cannibals I
te him" Aunt Sophronia-aLa. I
lie! l do hope they cooked him with &
lrnips. The poor, dear man was so
md OF turnips. Tit Bits.
INDIGNANT tourist Ito Partisan
otel manager who has just present.
his bilD-"See here. You have : :
larged me fifty confines for writing
aper, and you know very well Won
ave not furnished me with a scrann =
anager-"Oui, monsieur, but it is
+ the 9aper on which your bill IA
ade out Tit Bits :