The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1893-03-25
WHO STOLE OUR STOVE WOOD 2


1t was with regretful regret that the
editor pulled out from his mornings on
Honesty Hill, for Notwithstanding divers
and various vague hints that there was
something rotten in the Denmark OF its
reputation for that delicate regard of the
law of "meum ct tuum" that it ought
to have, we found it a pleasant and
breezy place to live in and was quite com
Portable up there. il we got out OF wood,
Judge Blackwell could always tell us
where to get a fresh supply, and at just
what hour to call. If we needed chickens,
Col. Jones was exactly the man to inform
us where the choicest ones roasted and
would then kindly go with us and help us
garner the crop;-and we must say that OF
all artists in this line we ever met the
gallant colonel just gets away with the
whole confectionery shop. There never
was a Georgia Minstrel that could hold a
lightning bug to him. No man Of all the
town could hear q pig sing o-o-igh!
o-o-igh! farther than Bud Hall, and so
accute was his ear that he could not only
tell the age of the infant porker, but its
exact location and condition. Another
very useful neighbor was Buck Bolton.
Talk about great heads! There's a fellow
who has the best head for watermelons
and roasting ears we ever saw. He doesn't
lave to wait for moonlight to find the
best melon and keep out of the way OF a
shot gun.-blest if he can't steer a santa
ry committee to the biggest melon on the
darkest night that ever
Spread its mantle DER a sleeping world,
and out of it again loaded to the guards
without ever once arousing the watch dog
or disturbing the peaceful slumbers of the
guardians of the patch.
Then there were other good fellows
Pete horde ave us all the water we
could drink, and when we had drained
his cistern dry, we could borrow all we
wanted from Mrs. Ken. Ryland by prom
ising TO pay it back when it rained.
Uncle Jake Price was kind and neigh
borly, as was Prof. Kerdolff and George
Catron.
But we moved Monday-moved where
Bob Bledsoe has been living-ard whatdo
you suppose happened the very first
night? A whole lot OF stove wood was
CukeH TlBnU OuI OF our WOOu Sneu anu
carried off. We are struck with con-
sternation. 1t caught us on the point of
the jaw and knocked us clean out; left us
dizzy while the other fellow got the
stakes. just think of our.new neighbors
and then Of our depleted wood pile. Inn
mediately west is DIR. Put Fulkerson-
across the street from him live Brother
Worthington rand his on, Clarence.
Clarence, we think, used to know where
Bledsoe lived, but he'd lave no use for
stove wood. Col. and Squire Hook are
also close by-could they lave hooked our
wood? Death to the idea! Mrs. Reeder
and G.. NJ. Hill live north and close by,
but they use coal. Prof. Meyers, Stewart
Summers j. w. R%inehart, Ed. Meyers,
Tom Paxton and Jim Price live across the
way, but would they do up a poor, lorn
neighbor in that style the first night he
came to live among them? There is some
grave mystery here. We intend to put de-
t~ectives on the track of the fellow who got
our stove wood and drive him forthwith
to Higginsville, for there's not a drop of
mercy or the minutest corpuscle of the
milk of human kindness left in our heart
for the rascal.