The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-11-25
NO CAPTAINS TABLE FOR HIM.

He Thought Thst the Big Man Of the
Ship Ate with the Deck Hands.
He was pacing the promenade deck of
an ocean steamer. One of his eyes was
blackened, and his red nose and swollen
features wore u careworn expression. The
breeze played gently with the tails Of HIS
long ulster. and he could scarcely keep his
feet. A sudden lurch Of the ship sent him
sprawiing on the deck in front Of one of
the passengers, who helped him nm and
asked him II he were sick.
mo, my FRIEND" he answered eravelv
''but I'm afraid I've made q biz mistake'
Ever crossed the ocean beforei"
1.-TWO or three times," was the n.odest
answer. :,
Well, then, he continued, ..perhaus Won
can tell me whether was right or wronr. "
How was itf'
well, you SEQ it was this way. The
other day | was appointed United States
consul to little port over here across the
pond. I'm on my way there now. took
CABIN passage on this boat and I was hav-
ing tiptop time until today This morn
ing had just sat down to breakfast whom
. Dig waiter came up behind me, and said
ne, I beg pardon, sir, but the captain re-
quests that You be seated at his table
What's thatr said l, sit at the captain,.
table. Not much, sir. rm no plug OF 4
common sailor. I'm United States con-
sui. paid for first class passage on this
craft and I'm going to have first class
grub.
"'Sit at the captains table! You must
be crazy, man. No, sir, I'm going to sit
right here and take my meals like the
other hrst class passengers. Pm q gentle
man. I'm an American sovereign, SIR. and
stand on my rights. The next thing
you'll want me to 60 down and take pot
luck with the coal beavers. I'm no steer
age passenger. II you don't believe it
here's my ticket. l don't eat with sea
captains, do you seer
Everybody at the table began to look
astonished like. and the waiter said: I'm
sorry, sir, but orders is orders. Iwouldn't
dare tell the captain that you had refused
to come to his table. He would be much
SIR Then let him get insulted.'
said l, getting bit riled. It's none Of his
business where sit. don't have to eat
with my social interiors. Pm going to sit
right here, and II you don't take your hand
OH my shoulder I'll paste you one right be-
tween the eyes
But you don't understand he be-
gan, and put his hand on me again. With
that got up and hit him. He struck
back and we clinched, rolled over on the
Moor and gouged each other. A lot of the
walters ran up and parted us got up
and left the room without any breakfast.
Just as went out heard somebody rc-
mark that was the biggest fool that
ever stepped of dry land. Now tell me,
is man = fool because he stands
up for his rightsr
Certainly not answered the other pas
senger, but don't you know that it il con-
sidered great honor to be invited to the
tablet It is an honor accorded
only to people of high social rank or off,
cial position. The captains table is con-
sidered the finest in the dining room.'
In tho dining roomp he gasped Then
It amt down in the forecastlel All, now l
catch on. What q tarnal fool I've been.
anyhow. I'm going to get the biggest
deck hand on board to kick me all over the
ship and then I'm going to my stateroom,
and won't stick my nose outside until we
get to Queenstown. Goodby. my friend. >"
New York Tribune.