Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-02-05
A BABY IN THE BAG.
A POLICEMAN'S EXPERT
ENCE WITH AYOUNGsTER.
The Infant Howled, OF Course
History Of a Goat---Funny
Whims and Stories.

policeman in Virginia than Officer
Everett II. Rsdford. Of the Second Dis
trics. He weighs at least $50 pounds,
and every ounce Of his avoirdupois Is
merriment. His humor and his wit are
as sparkling as the big diamond ring he
wears on his finger, and he loves joke
better than anything on earth-espe-
cially il it's on some other fellow.
But his brethren have got one
on him now. and it's a pretty good
one, too. Some nights ago the big po-
licemsn received q message to hurry
around in the neighborhood OF First
street between Broad and Grace. He
"humped himself to the above-named
point rs fast as his ponderosity would
allow, and when he reached his destina-
tion--Oh, horror OF borrors-he discov-
cred that several people had found a
real, live baby, which had been deserted
by some cruel parent. There was the
youngster, comfortably wrapped up, and
hale and hearty. Everett realized the
situation in moment. He knew at a
glance that his official dnties demanded
that he should take the baby to the sta
tion-house, but how to do it-that was
the question. IT might be stated here
that the big "blue-coat Is bachelor,
and as matter Of fact he's
got no more idea how to handle
an infant than dude in dress
suit would have about carrying q
forty-poupd block OF ice. He was awfnlly
embarrassed for O minute or so, and then
his face lighted up. He thought he had
solved the problem. and he smiled with
delight at his ingenuity. Forthwith
the big fellow called up Captain Angle
and told him to send the patrol-wsgon,
as he had an obstreperous prisoner.
"Who is he ?" whooped the Captain at
the other end OF the line. ga baby" la
conically replied Mr. Redford. The
Captain told the officer to take it to the
almshouse. and orders, of course, had to
be obeyed, so Everett prepared to de-
camp with his animated trophy. Some
good Samaritan furnished bag, and the
burden was carefully deposited in this
receptacle and the public guardian start
ed on bis journey. He boarded street
car. and though considerably embar-
raised at first. he soon regained his
presence OF mind. for the baby kept as
still as mouse, and besides no one
guessed what was in the bag. After the
officer had gone some distance a mystic
nous noise emanating from an invisible
source was heard. The youngster COM
menced bowling from the cavernous
depths OF the salt-sack that bore his
earthly frame. A lady IN the car re-
marked alt seems to me L hear baby
CRYING" A smothered echo verified her
statement and other matrons began to
show interest. No one could tell where
the sounds came from, aud excitement
ran high. 1t seemed to Redford that
the car took hours TO move and he turn
ed all sorts OF colors. His hair almost
became gray before he was transferred
to the Fifth-stree line, and he breathed
a sigh of relief when he left the ladies'
But the other car was equally as full OF
the fair sex, and Everett, 1t must be adj
mitted, despite his precautions, "let
the cat out the bag" though he
still swung on to the baby. When his
secret became known a roar OF laughter
filled the conveyance. But the baby
reached the almshouse all right and is
getting along finely. Everett decided
10 name it either after prominent Clay
Ward politician or q big Democrat Of
East Richmond. He drew straws with
himself to determine which OF the citi-
Zens should have the honor, and the
East Richmonder won.
-
1t is truly wonderful to note the many
ways in which electricity is utilized.
You can accomplish almost anything
with it except make it put dollars and
cents in your pocket, and some people
have even succeeded in doing this. DIR.
j. A. White recently brought the forces
of the subtle element into play for a
rather singular purpose, but he made
great hit-a most decided hit. Some
months ago he purchased pony for his
children, and the little ones were de-
lighted when the cold snap came. for
then they knew they could hitch the
dlminutive equine to their sleigh
and have glorious time. They
lost no time doing this after
the snow fell, but the pony wasn't
success. He was like q grasshopper,
and only moved by fits and starts.
Sometimes as they drove him up Frank
lin street he would speed along beauti-
fully for several squares, and then, as if
seized with a meditatiye humor, he
would pause and stop. When he halted
thus no eloquence could persuade him
TO continue his journey until his think
ing spell was over. II the spirit moved
him" he would start off again, but
there was no telling when he would
come to halt. The Doctor marvelled
greatly over that poly, and almost
gave up in despair about the animal, but
at last he bethought himself OF electric
ity. He rugged up little battery, put
it in the sleigh, fastened the wires to
the harness so that it would touch the
ponv's mouth and back, and then turned
the thing on. The first time the little
rascal got contrary the effect was cleo
trical in more senses than one. The
peryerse equine went off like flash.
He was completely conquered. After
that everything was plain sailing. DR..
White would touch the button and the
pony would do the rest. The shock adj
ministered was a very slight one, but it
never failed to produce the desired eff
feet.
Goats always did interestme. 1t may
be owing to the fact that their whiskered
faces are symbolical of q foaming,
frothy fluid which is never sold at tenn
perance gatherings. bat at any rate l
always pause and pay my respects when
/ meet them in the busy whirl OF life.
Goodness me, there are so many kinds
OF them too-it would take hours to re-
call their many species. There are
white goats and black goats, gray
goats and brown goats. sacred
goats and Angora goats, and last.
but not least, Billy goats. To this
latter class would fain pause and de-
vote my eulogy on the caprine race, but
they need no introduction to the public.
They are universally recognized. At
home they travel without credentials and
abroad they need no letters of credit
In every land that has yet felt the life
giving rays of the sun the wind is al
lowed to blow unmolested through their