The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-01-22
Romance In a Canoe.

NAfAANb VI Nllt QAdktT were TWO Inlla-
de!phians. and this was their first canoe
cruise; they were a young married cou-
pie, gay, quick witted, and ready for
anything In the way OF an adventure
may mention here that the husband
was Familiarity known as Charlie. and
that he was not noted for his energy or
activity, being very much inclined TO
take things easily in this world. and he
had caused a decided sensation among
his friends by starting on this cruise
particularly as he had not the faintest
idea OF padding. and much commisera-
ton was expressed for Mrs. Charlie"
when he announced his intention OF pad
ding her himself in the canoe he had
ordered for the occasion. However, she
had that blind faith that womeu-some-
times-display IN their husbandy. and she
evidently imagined that If Charlie"
chose to paddle he could do it well
as he could do anything else; we re-
spected her faith. and left IL for time
and the ST. Lawrence 10 undeceive her.
In the Experiment l padded bow ana
my cousin Jack was in the stern. Our
party was completed by a female known
as Burney.
We had arranged. out OF consideration
for our Philadelphia friends debut as
paddler TO travel by very easy stages
Burney. too. was not "a slight. in any
sense OF the word, drawback 10 our
rapid progress She weighed 2l5 pounds
and when the bOatman we engaged at
Cardinal saw her sylph-iike form ap-
preaching. and understood that he was
TO row her, he stood transiixed for a
moment. and then exclaimed, Good
Lord" No notice being taken Of this
he inquired In a confidential whisper:
Has she ever travcled?' on our look
ing mysuned he added: Il mean with a
show"
Mrs. Charlie informed him in a dgni-
fled manner that she was our cook, and
her husband assured him that she was
not as heavy as she looked a state
ment which he received in credulous ST.
lence. We all surveyed Burney with
critical eye after this. and arrived at
the conclusion that she was rather stout,
undesirahly stout, perhaps, but the truth
was that her services had been obtained
with such difficulty that we did not feel
inclined to judge her harshly. She had
been char-woman In our family for years.
but when / suggested TO her to come and
cook for us at camp her horror was ex-
IRENE, and / was at first met by
decided refusal.
"Me campingl OH don't ask me to go
On an island or any Of them floating
things, Miss Ethel. for l couldn't do it."
But my persuasion and the promise of
liberal remuneration finally prevailed,
and for a month Burney's services were
to be ours.
The Grand Trunk train deposited us
and our canoes in Cardinal one sunny
Saturday morning, and we proceeded 70
embark. Jack and l threw our small
valises iuto the Experiment, and then
turned 10 assist IN establishing the crew
OF the Quaker when the sound OF an
angry alteration arose on the air, and
Burney and the boatman (who reioiced
IN the marine appellation Of Waters)
were found TO be engaged in wordy
war. with every appearance, on Burneys
part, Of soon proceeding TO fisticuffs.
II appeared that Burney's luggage
which consisted Of two huge bundles was
SO heavy that Waters had demonstrated
about taking II in the boat, and had
made some very teering speeches about
the multiplicity OF ''women's fixing Al
this Burney had retorted with some very
personal and unpleasant remarks about
the noted bad temper Of red haired
folks" and as Waters hair vas deci-
dedly fiery In its hue, he was correspond
ingly irate. We demonstrated with Bur
ney on the extent Of her wardrobe. and al
last drew from her the reluctant con
fession that one Of the corpulent bundles
contained a feather bed: she wasn't ''goin
70 get no rheumatics lyin' on the damp
ground" she informed US, but on our
representing that she would be provided
with a "stretcher." she consented 10 leave
the bundle in charge Of the station mas
ter tn our return.
We packed the boat, which Mrs. Charlie
christened Jumbo" with three tents,
three stretchers. an alcohol lamp. and
various cooking utensils, put in Burney
bundle. and then Burney herself in the
stern, the boatman took his place and we
pushed them off. may remark here that
Burney was a widow, and had been
widow for ten years, and though she wore
colors in her own home, and when she
went out "charing," and when she visited
her "neighbors" IN the village, she sun
kept a complete set OF widows weeds
and on state occasions dOnnsd them'
Evidently she considered our canoe cruise
worthy OF note for. to nv df"'0"N ""
she appeared at the station she was ar
rayed in her most funereal garD' her
hands were encased IN black COTTON
gloves, very baggy at the fingers ana on
her head she wore an erection or crepe
ana bugles al least quarter Of yard
In height. From this foated a long crepe
veil.
Altogether her appearance was certainly
trnoeipp uarticularly as she stu cluns
10 the crinoline that had been the fash-
ion In the days Of her youth, ana never
appeared IN public without putting on
huge hoopskirt But her tout ensemble
on our Philadelphia friends for they went
into FITS Of laughter every time they
caught sight Of her rosy, not TO say
rublcund. face. and when had seen
her safely launched. sitting very erect
IN the stern of the boat, with her ven
streaming behind her In the breeze ana
her eyes fixed severely on the unioitulale
Waters. / turned around 70 ma the rest
OF our party helpless from mirth.
by Jove'' gasped out JACK pity
that poor Waters from the bottom OF NY
heart What a pull he'll have, ana the
current dead against him all the way.
Il don't think the pull a circnmstahce
20 what he'll have 20 suffer from buIheS
tongue" laughed Mrs. Charlie.
You're both wrong" Announces Hei
husband "Burney will reient Deiofs a
mile is over II Is her smiles not her
frowns, that Waters win have 10 dreau,
and she Is widow, Is she notF '.-turhIns
70 me. "Ah. then, there Is no nope LOT
him Why ola none or US think 10 WINS
per the elder Weiler's warning IN MS
carr"
But, before long our Philadelphla ffieno
had troubles Of his own 70 contend WIN,
and had forgotten Waters ana tue ,aas
burney. The current was. as JACK nao