The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-11-16
! And then gin him about three full

ana splacikln, ora IN the Suller-way, and
the lamp-chimney cleaner is a-hangin'
up over the kitchen sink"
For SO arjous hud been my work a.
doin' that immense churnin' that my
usual mornin's work wuz neglected and
ondone.
|. What are you a-goin' to doq" he
yelled
II am a-goin' to charm you, Josiah
'Wimmen are made to charm men,
They should do nothin' important. A
clean house is important; therefore,
will not clean. Eatin' is Important;
therefore, will not cook. will emu
late the rose in it's wisdom. l will
charm and be silent"
And leaned back in still more
luxurious attitude in my cushioned
chair, and smiled quite good deal at
him. 1886
Are You dumb lunatickp" sez he.
"Or what duz all you?"
And he put on his glasses and looked
closer at me.
But still sat demute and graceful as
I could, aud still tried faithful to al
lure and charm hinr accordin' to the
rules laid down % Dig men and APP
proved by smaller ones. tpi
But anon as looked, see change
come over my pardner's face. His an
CRY mean subsidized, and look of in
tense and questionin' alarm and agony
swept over his eyebrow
And see him glance at the campfire
bottle. And anon he turned silently
and reached up the stairway for the
soapstun, with his eye on me all the
time.
And he sez, in low, appealin' axents:
Don't you want to be rubbed, Sa-
mantha3 Where is your worst pain?
Won't campfire relieve you? Shall
60 after Miss Gowdy or the doctor9
Don't you want your feet soaked?" SEE
he, glancin' toward the tank.
SEE L: Josiah Allen, I don't want
soapstuns or campfire. want reason
and common sense in my companion;
that is what l want to relieve me. I
have tried jest as faithful as ever O
woman did to foller after the rules you
read this mornin'. You said you loved
the men that wrote 'em, and if 1 would
only foller them rules you would be the
happiest man in Jonesville or the world.
have follered 'em faithful for about
twenty minutes, and it has reduced YOU
to the condition of a lunatick. If TWEEN
ty minutes Of it has brung you to this
state, what would hours and DAYS of it
do. and years. Now it has made you
lose morals, tear round, use indecent
language, break your word with gro
GERS, and act. Now if you have had
enougho of my follerin' them rules, say
SO, and I will stop"
''Oh, dumb the piece, and dumb the
fellers that wrote it'
/ turned nyyov from, hin, ord ocr,;,,
broke out in that sweet and winnin'
smile, and clasped my hands allurin'ly
over by bask waist.
He stamped on the floor; he kicked!
But kept firm and smiled onto him,
and ag'in ] called him .swcet darlin'
pet"
That was the time when he kicked
the boot-jacl acrost the floor and
jammed the clothes-press door to that
extent that one PANEL has been loose
to this day.
But will draw the cur tains on their
bras rod over the scene. But suffice it
to say that at twelve o'clock land he
said he hadn't had n mouthfuI to eat
in forty-eight hours) he capitulated
with no terms.
He said: Dear Samantha, have had
enough of the rose act. l have had
enough of allurin' and charmin', now
want some meat vittles, and I want
'em quick
So got right up and got as good
dinner as hands ever got, but quick
1 Drilled young, tender fowl, I had
already dressed; I smashed up some po-
tatoes with plenty of cream and butter
into 'em; l made orange puddin',
h,1t 4 4
melt in your mouth And I had some
rich yeller coffee that would do your
soul good to partalxe Of
And while I was a-gettin' the dinner,
and if you will believe it. such is my
tact and my faculties for turnin' off
work, got time to finish that last
layer of butter, and imegiately after
dinner put snowwhite cloth over it,
sprinkled it with salt on top, and Jo-
siah sot off in good season, after all
for Jonesville.
And. at his request, put on my
brown alapaclSy dress and rode down
with him.
And as we went along we visited,
very agreeable. He was very affection
ate (owin' to that coffee, and partly by
his feelin's for me-he worships me).
He said: THAT sweet, f1owery talk
read we'll, and made men feel kinder
generous and comfortable to write it,
and men feel dredful sort O. patronizin'
and good natered toward wimmen to
read it, but it wouldn't work worth q
cent
No" seq 1. "And fen like fool a.
settin there a-tryin' to allure and
charm, a-smilin' stiddy, when knew
everythin' wuz ut loose ends in the
hffohan h.,