The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-07-27
WIT AND IIUM0R.

he never SAYS word" Precisely"
Detroit Tribune.
After ALL" murmured the artist,
I perhaps the ideal figure has dollar
mark in front of it, Washington
I Star.
The world is full of people who are
rich merely because they could not
sell out when they wanted to- Ga!UeS-
ton .NeocS.
Every man "has his influence" but
sometimes has a hard time TO find 1t
when he is in hurry CLeUeland
| PiGiHdealer.
One of the poets says we can't live
without cooks. and many ladies say
they can't live with them.-PhiLadel-
phia Times.
Champagne probably got its reputa-
tion as high-toncd drink through 60
ing so much into good society,"
! tat0 Courier.
She-So you're fully determined to
marry her, are You? He--A Absolutely.
/ She-H'm! Don't you ever feel sorry
for her?-DetroH TriJaRe.
/ Playwright What do you think OF
my play? Truthteller-I beg pardon,
! but it is not calculated to provoke
thought. Boston Transcript.
Aigh-Binelcy's wife doesn't prove
to be all that he fancied she was. Bee
Very likely; he got her at q bargain
/ counter. Boston transcript.
If haste is the mark of weak mind
! tb,,,,, ir h.lin,.o bo
average errand boy is profoundly in
tellectua!. = Washington Ae1c5.
"a little change of heir" remark ed
the old man as he altered his will, cut.
ting off his nephew in favor of his
pewriter.-Pbaadeiphia Record.
Boggs-Do you think that man
can serve two masters? Henpeck-
Well, sometimes; he may have a'wife
and a grown daughter, you know
Puck
When a girl allows fellow to put
his overcoat on without assisting him
it is sign that she doesn't want him
to come back any more. .-AtchiS09
Globe.
Jaspar - Women have very poor
memories. Jumpuppe - Nonsense!
You step on wOman's train at a ball
and see how long she'll remember it.
| Truth.
Profe ssor-For anatomical reasons.
women cannot stand as long as men.
Young LADY, guess you never saw q
woman having Il dress titted.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Big2s-Tha,'s rather pretty girl.
Is she weli-informcd? Boggs-Well
informed? She works on the private
house circuit in telephone exchange.
Troy Press.
She-SO she married that bald head
ed old scamp. Why, | heard he had
been biackballed at every club in town.
He-Ihat'S why he married; for a
home.-Lye.
Dobbs-I never saw such man to
eXaggerate as that man Brown is. He
overdraws everything. Bobbs-Yes,
sir, even his bank account.-Detr0it
Free Press.
The engaged girl is seldom known
by the company she keeps. As rule
he doesn't get thoroughly acquainted
with her until after they are married.
-Butalo Courier.
Wife-I have just been to the dem
fists and had a tooth drawn. Husband
(heaying sigh)-Lucky tooth! 1t is
now beyond the reach of your tongue.
De -S0bFe,ReSa.
Il wish," said the mbarrassed-look
ing man, who had tried to dance,
that it wasn't so hard to catch a train
at the depot and so hard to miss it in
ballroom. - JFuShingion Star.
Collector-Mr. Trager, will you sub
scribe towards the decoration of the
soldiers graves? Mr.. Trager-No,
sir, The men whose graves | want to
decorate amt dead yet.-Lye's Cale"-
ddr.
Jackson-I met q man on the street
Yesterday who reminded me of you.
Jenkins-Is that so; how? Jackson
He, too, has owed me $40 for more
than a MONTH Browning, King d Co. 8
Monthly.
Mrs Snooper (reading)-A New
Jersey paper mill has produced sheet
of paper six feet wide and seven miles
! long. Snooper-For some ice dealer to
make out bill on, suppose. -Genera!
| Manager.
Wife Oaughingly)-There are some
excruciatingly funny jokes in this
paper about women going shopping al
day and never buying anything. Hus'
band (hotly)-Yes. but they're lies.-
| n. Y. Weekly.
Tramp-Say. mister, don't you want
to give me something to do? Mer-
chant-Youl Nonsense; what can You
do that would be of the least value te
me? Tramp-Well, I'd move on for q
dime.-Harper's Weekly.
He--Bwothah Chawley has the
bwain feyah and we cawn't find s
nurse high or low. She-Sit up with
him yourself. There is no human
possibility of your catching the dis
ease.-Detroit Free Press.
Stuart-Dd Senator Prosieghmar
look much exhausted after the con
clusion of his two hours oration
Snarleigh-No, not a person in the en-
tire audience showed fewer signs 0
fatigue than he brooklyn Lge.
Northern lady-You attend church
of c0ursea Matilda Snowball-No
mum. ustct belong ter de Blue Ligh
Baptist tabernacle, but has quit al
dat foolishness. and now is con
lirmed acrosiic.- gtr.tS s.{..t.'.
Wickwire ! tell yo@. La:.dv, m.
boy. there's nothing like baby t
brighten up mans home labsie.
Yes. l have noticed ia;.t The ga
seems to be at fail I.ri@ai in you
house at almost any hogr of the nigh.
-QUtpS.
Hicks-rhe Rhode Island court
have decided that the father has III
legal right to name tie i;iby. = ha
,, do YOU think of that3 Mrs. Hicks
; | think Rhode Island is about th
: smallest State in the Union. N.
; I,H3cS.
SAYS Uncle h;osc: I'D dcs Ike t
, know why il is dat a church has t
IL =, I, ~ IA, Al 1i