The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-09-19
READY FOR THE BORE
CONVERSATION OF = MAN WHO WAS
PRlNED FOR 4 DYSPEPTIc.

i Chronic Invalid. Bent or Relating HIS
oun Case. Hears o: u More Remarkable
One and Is Able to Get In bat Few
Words In the Course % t. long Talk.
You are so burly and robust" sad
the orgulous dyspePtic, vita secret
scorn, TO his casual travelling acquailt-
ance, that l presume you axe never
troubled with dyspepsia. You hEys
much to be thankful for. ! am often II
such a state that
Was the burly acquaintaoce 70 endure
the garrulity Of a chance Ggspelt.c: lie
was not.
On the contrary" he immediately re-
piled. for, never having suffered NO
ment in his life from any physical all
ment, his mind was active and ViSslant-
ON the contrary, I have suffered IN
told torture from dyspepsia, and IS you
are interested IN the subject VIII will
ingly give you my experience. began
with the finest digestion in the world,
but while engaged in the military service
of the country, being 10 years scouting
on the frontier. the character Of the fa-
tons, together with the quality of the
confections Of soldier cooks previously
engaged in driving hacks and smuggling
castings'-
oh, my trouble was not with cooks
interposed the dyspeptic loftily, but
nevertheless much chagrined 70 find the
burly acquaintance prepared 70 talk on
on the subject AS WIS about 10 tell
YOU, am often in such = state that
And the irregularity Of the meals"
hurried on the burly acquaintance,
served, you understand, III camp, al
fresco and a Ia fourchette sans cc-euCu.e,
threw me into such disorder that hal
Indigestion, then dyspepsia, then non
assimilation. | submitted my case to the
army surgeons. They advised me-
Doctors are of little use viii tel
YOU
TO confine myself to the simplest and
most digestible edibles and csculents to
be found in the military couuissary
But grew worse, and the surgeons or
dered me back to civilization. where !
could obtain the delicate rutrimeut
which my disordered and seriously i'm
paired system required. | went TO Chi
cago and began diet Of chicken broth
fresh fruit, stale bread made from newly
ground graham, steamed oatmeaI'-
''Oh. tried all those Five years
ego
The result was that grew worse, IS
before. and tho local doctors advised me
to go Toto go to New York. where |
should be able to find foods better suited
to my parlous state. Accordingly went
to New York and laid out diet Of the
finest and purest of the selected foods
that that metropolis GfTords''--
plain country food taken as the SIS
tenn requires'-
My physician advised exact regular
ity. l had two ounces sea food, two
ounces farinaceous food, two ounces Of
the Juice of fresh imported fruits and
two ounces coagulated albuminoids ev-
cry two hours. Growing steadily worse,
| consulted higher medical talent. One
doctor kept me on clam broth, another
on tangerines, another on shredded
broiled frogs legs, another on distilled
alfalfa'-
Five years ago.
Growing steadily worse, consulted
still higher authority. was now told
that my diet was at variance with ma
ture. The doctor told me that nature
was proportion, rhythm. music-foods
must be taken in harmonious proper
tons He prescribed the same sea foods,
cereals, meats and fruits as the others,
but in chromatic scale of the decreas-
ing seventh, throwing in occasionally a
few vegetables by way of variation OF
the fugue and double extracts as over
tOneS"-
"Of course you recovered, your case
being merely temporary
| 1I,rI tod
doctor who had had great success
among the millionaires-fnancial sue
cess. He was man of blunt speech
and plain common sense. He said had
overworked my stomach and must give
it entire rest. What / was to do for
living in the meantime he did not say,
but he took large fee with great scOrn.
rightly despising me for the small
amount Of money that he left me. My
stomach was now worse than ever. It
refused to be c2joled and desplsod my
offers of peace. Excuse me 4 moment.
Once had spent over - hours fasting.
| then drank two drains Of soda mint
with four ounces of aqua pUra-every-
thing was now drains, scruples and
ounces with me, and the zigzag symbols OF
those distressing quantities appeared IN
nay nightly Nightmares like procession
of Daniel Quilps and Humpbacks OF No
ire Dame-as | say drains Of sterlhzed
milk at 20 degrees centigrade, with "
wiggles of bismuth and ii jiggle jaSgles
of soda, with couple of glasses of wine
and pepsin to aid in the mysterious proc
esses of digestion
The large amount Of actual food con
tanned in tie ounce Cl milk began 10 dis
tress me exceedingly, bat the wine. TO
which was not accustomed, gave me
courage. took several more doses Of 1t
Immediately, increasing the doses rhyth-
mically. | had not felt so wellin months,
| said. Wine is undoubtedly q nocker,
but it is = good rubifacient, besides pos
sessing valuable qualities as an antinar-
cote and merry1naker Now, very well,
Mr.. Stomach, l said, you are un&mena-
BILE TO gentleness, unmOved by kindness
and irTespO-sive to the concord Of sweet
culinary symphonies. | Will give you
something TO rage about Putting on
my hat. walked lightly adown the
street, and entering. not doctors wait
ing room, but a restaurant, instantly
ordered and partook of repast consist
ing in part Of turtle soup, roast old goose,
broiled fat Holsters, cOrned beef and
cabbage, salt pork, hot rolls, Italian
cheese, tripe, mince pie, black coffee.
chartreuse and black and green cigar.