The Penn's Grove record., 1893-08-11
THE PUSSY HOSTESS.

In the present days our nerves are
a good deal shaken, and we chiefly seek
either complete rest or intense excite
ment. The fussy hostess bores US
q neither soothes us nor amuses us
She entirely lacks repose. When you
enter her drawing-room she
you with SO much effusion that 1t be-
comes ~nauseating. She is generally
q transparent humbug. She talks
chiefly in italics. She is so glad 10
see YOU; and when you rise to take
your departure she begs you to remain.
"Oh, don't 60. Must you realty! lts
quite early" So one has to frame ex-
cuses to get sway-and excuses, espec-
Tally lame ones are so fatiguIng.
When her visitors have drifted into
pleasant conversation, she interrupts 1t
by fresh introductions. She swoogs
down upon You when you least expect
her, carries You off, and presents you,
labelled, to someone you do not want
to know, and who has no burning de-
sire to know you. "Let me Introduce
Nh. Jones, he's so fond of -" gem
orally an art about which the gentle
man has no ideas, beyond realizing
what he likes.
AT the house OF a fussy hostess l
once met three friends of mine who
were unknown to one another-an
actor, a novelist, and a young journal
list. Snow 1 know you will like each
other SO much," she said as she intro
duced them. Greatly, how fortunate
L am this afternoon, for you see | have
O U~ett-knoWn actor, a great novelist,
and a RISING journalist; [ feel l have a
salon" Stionge to say, the three men
had never heard of each other, and
they all told me, in moments of con
hdence afterwards. that they lon9ed to
creep under the sofa. The pause In
the conversation of the rest OF the
party after the hostess speech was GER
talnly not made less appalling, by the
silence of the three distinguished peo-
pie who had been labelled into lifeless-
ness by her stupidity. If she intro
duces you to a young girl she tells you
in a stage whisper that she is "sWeet(y
pretty" il 1t is an older she will pcssi-
bly, say, 81 do SO want you to know
her, she's Uery clever and most use
full" In the first case you will proba-
bly, find yourself trying to see beauty
IN an ordinary and self.conscious
schoolgirl, and the elder lady will talk
you down and pstronize you.
The fussy hostess rarely sits down.
That, one would not mind if she would
only allow her visitors to remain at
anchor for five consecutive minutes.
If she wears a train she either kicks it
constantly or allows it to take its
chance; when it takes its own sweet
way it is generally wrapped round the
leg of a chair or of q man. The
chair, as q rule, will fall, but the man
has to smile. When she appears in a
short gown she reminds me of n of
those horrible dolls that walk by
machinery, suddenly taking three or
four unexpected steps when you think
they have 'trun down"
Her rooms are usually in artistic cup
to date" Everything looks fresh from
the shop. The furniture and decora-
tions are as jerky as herself. The tussy
hostess does not give very good dinners.
She is one of those to whom William
Morris cries out in vain, of you AN
not afford a real work of art, do not put
up with an Imitation one. Learn to do
without"
Her dinners are rs far from that real
art as her decorations. She has invari-
ably scrambled through every picture
gallery, and seen all the new plays.
Her opinions upon what she sees are an
Ola p0drida of other folks ideas
which she carefully culls from conver-
%versations and plumbers from papers
She is well read; she gets the authors a
little mixed and the plots of stories
hopelessly ~entangled with the details
of books of biography and travel, but
that is due to her ''dreadfUi men,
ory."
The fussy hostess is often idol zed by
very young men. 1t is their privilege
not to see through her. She has SO
many pretty little ways of gratifying
their vanity. She greets them some.
times with both hands, and very young
men like that; she calls them ''naughty,
naughty boys" and they love that. 1t
makes them feel they are men, when a
woman of the world talks to them as if
they had a nice long sullied past of
questionable conauests.
! She is always a managing woman.
She is ambitious in a feeble way. She
is never in society. Her husband is
usually very dull-probably the result
of long years OF enforced silence, tor
he is always talked at, or talked for. |
always shake hands with him with a
muttered coincidence. If the fu sy
hostess is q hirt in addition to her other
accomplishments, leave .carl> whenever
youcan politely a void visiting.
students, teachers male or female), Clergy
men and others in need of change of emnlov.