davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-07-08
G AID " B IL.

Caldwell is the County seat
of Canyon County.
It is in the center of a vast
mining, agricultural, stock rails
ing, numbering and fruit grow
ing country.
It is the natural supply and
distributing point for all the
country between Pocatello,
Idaho. and Portland, Oregon,
Kelton, Utah, and Butte, Mon
tana.
Nature has so ordained that
Caldwell is bound to become
one Of the great inter-mountain
emporiums. In the short space
of ten years it has grown from
Il few tents and cabins to a town
with brick blocks, wholesale
mercantile establishments, good
hotels, banks, bottling works,
water works, churches, schools
and colleges, telephone and
everything pertaining to adj
vanced civilization.
Ten years. ago nobody lived
in Caldwell and only a few
camped l.ere. Now there are
dozens OF elegant residences,
fine lawns, fruits and flowers
and everything which goes to
make life beautiful and enjoy.
able.
For some years Caldwell was
regarded as a competitor with
surrounding towns, but her nat.
ural advantages were so supe-
rior that she tar outstripped
her less fortunate neighbors
and now stands without even a
pretending rival. Caldwell en-
joys the happy distinction of
never having suffered the blast
ing influence of a boom. 1'he
people who settled here did 50
Tor substantial and permanent
purposes. They saw. that the
location was pre.eminentE ia,
vorable as a business point, and
most desirable for residence.
People came here because there
was opportunities here for sue
cessful and legitimate enterprise.
They did not come here to
boom and then skip. !.
The conditions and the coun.
try surrounding forced Caldwell
onward and upward, and she is
still expanding and climbing.
There Is plenty OF room left
for substantial; energetic, enter
prising people. but there is no
place here for drones and hang
ers,back to rest the soles Of
their feet.
If you want a foothold in the
coming. town of Idaho, get into
Caldwell as soon as possible.
Come and see it and study the
situation. Don't listen to any,
body. Don't take anybody's
word. Don't believe anything
that you can not see with your
naked eye. Don't spend your
money until you are convinced
beyond doubt that the invest
ment will pay. Caldwell is a
straight business proposition.
1t is a cold blooded money
making consideration. You
don't want to come here solely
for your health and religion.
Good health doesn't sit well ON
an empty pocketbook, and sal
walton is accessible from every
nnint Of tho con,pocs ,,bvs;oo11xy
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-07-08

items From the DeLsmar Companies Annual
Report.
The Nugget has received from
the London Office of the DeLamar
Co., copy of the directors and
mine managers report, balance
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-07-08
%4t- TEE
MOST NOTED CASTRAT0R IN THE WORLD

Has his methods now in book form, and for
sale, fully illustrating his most approved
methods OF Altering Colts, Spaying Cattle and
ing the best after treatment OF castrated
stock. Very important to all stock owners and
castrators For prices and particulars Of book
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-07-08

Be a prune baron in Canyon
county.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1893-08-05

Per menus de "a n,it.td de "a e.lor -e
vende Ia Hacienda Caeaaiidod 81 II iuris-
lic':i6n do Aguada Posee excelentes terre-
nos iincados de- ca1aS duleee, espacioRos es-
tabiecimientos 1e n,anrcFtef(a con potente
nohno. gran ul;tgnna de gapoc, eTaporndo-
ras, aia.nbque con sus accessories, dos
grandes ranchos De baga2o, llenos lie COM
bustihes. casa de vivienda 6e . pisos. etc.
etc, todo an rnuy buen astado.
Los terteuos pueden regarse por los rios
Gnayodo = Gro,tde que atraviesan Ia finca.
Ii ferro -carril he circunvalacion paea 4
90 metros lie distanca de la casa de vivien-
da en menos De ) minutes Sc liega :, In
estaci6n de Agu;da
Para pormeuures di1ig;rse i
SC5SABEL y Aguadilla.
Julio, 10 1898. 3 nj
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1893-08-05
SELLOS De COMA
Julio, 10 1898.

Sc hacen con perfection y IA
pidez. 4 prccios muy m6aicos.
Tanbien Sc vende tinta para
los mismos, < % centavos pomo
Informes en- ia CMalaaa, de
Cabanas y Tarrats, Plaza Princi-
pal.
Diciembre IL de 1892.
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1893-08-05

I.4iit;ls.AE RS
La democracia. (Ponce, P.R.) 1890-1948, 1893-08-05

ARECIB0 PLAZA PRINCIPAL
Estahlecimiento de botillcfl7. Gnico
dep6sito del ron IOPAC1O / IS cen
tavos botella, y del ron s 5 s. pc
sino. internal, a 50 centavos Lotella
.7.l,:2 : ds 1898
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
The Power OF Water.

"a Southern Engineer" contributes
valuable article on "Geology aud the
Mississippi Problem to the Engineering
Magazine. In it he says:
We find in water the only tireless
agent that works in the modification Of
continents; and instead Of being tine
great renovator OF the land, as 1t is pop.
ularly conceived, It is the great de.
stroyer. The destruction of ancient
Rome has been attributed to time. But
it was duo simply to the moisture of the
atmosphere working thro Ugh chemical
agencies. 1t was water, invisible but
penetrating even the very stones of the
wonderful city, that caused her to
crumble to ruins, and gave to modern
Rene a grade greatly elevated above her
ancient grade. But it works not alone
in the cities and towns. There is not
hill on earth that has not been shorn of
some of its altitude by this subtle force,
and there is not mountain on earth, il
not fitfully renewed by volcanic action,
that has not been compelled to lower its
peak before this universal leveler of tho
exalted. 1t may be dreadful thought,
indeed, but we do not know absolutely
that we are not dependent on the earth.
quake and the volcano for keeping our
continental habitat above the level of
the ocean; for water not only destroys,
but it has the persistency and force to
carry off to its burial place in the sea all
that it has caused to perish. 1t may
take long time at its task; bat working
either in its gaseous, its liquid, or its
solid form, it seems to be the most pei
sistent thing on earth, never perishing,
and, however divided and invisible at
times, always ready to unite its forces
for supreme effort at the degradation
of continent.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
Rabbits of Many Kinds.

In America no game law limits the
sport of hunting rabbits. The ordinary
gray rabbit of the fields is shot, trapped,
or shared, from the beginning of the
year to its end, except that there is an
unwritten law known to schoolboys and
sportsmen, that rabbits are not good
eating in the summer season. In the
northern latitudes, the hares turn brown
IN summer, and change to light gray in
winter. This is supposed to be pro-
tective providence that helps them to
amalgamate with their surroundings, and
so escape slaughter.
Rabbits appear to be native to nearly
all climes. The rabbit fancier has list
which includes Dutch rabbits, Hina-
layans, Africans, the little Polish rabbit,
the Belgian, the Angoras, the silver
grays, silver-browns, black rabbits,
white rabbits and an endless lot of names
and nationalities. Besides these there
are the rabbits with personal cognomens,
such as the dew-lar, the lop-eared and
the dwarf rabbit. These are all fancy
rabbits, not half as good for eating
purposes as the wild ones with their
distinct nutty flavor. But these prize
rabbits cost all sorts of fancy prices, a
single one selling as high as $780,
Detroit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
CASE FOR TILE CORONER.

Mrs: Irons (matron of the well-known
Irons Boarding House) -"Sergeant, 1
wish you would send squad of police
down to my house as quick as you can!'
Police Officlal-"Calm your excite
ment, Mrs. Irons. What is the trouble2'
"We've got burglar locked up in
tine cellar!'
''How did be get in?'
"Through an outside window. We
heard him moving about in the cellar
and one of tho boardcrs got up and
slipped outside and fastened the shut
tiers tight, and the only door he can get
out is locked. o, we've got him!"
''Is there anything of value in your
celar?"
"Anything of value' There's dozen
of my best mince pies and some cold
meat, and
''How long has he been down therea"
''5ince about four o'clock. Nearly
three hours"
(Moving toward tho telephone)-
"Madam, this is not case for the po-
lice. 1 will slmnon the Coroner."-
Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
A SOCIE1Y IDYL.

"Why is it that women are always SO
jealous and suspicious OF each othsr2'
asked the Professor In plaintive voice
of the lady with whom he had been
dancing.
"Oh, because they know each other
so we'll. Now, there's that Kate Law
son. Do you know what she told young
Lawson to-nightg'
"No. Please enlighten me-"
"5he said she had one of the most
eligible young fellows in town at her
feet. Such whooper, when everybody
knows she never had a single offer"
II can prove the truth of Miss Law
sons assertion" said the Professor in
his cold, calm voice, that sounded like
brook gursling over broken glass.
''Oh, were you the man2' spitefully.
'.No"-not in the least disconnected
she was buying her wedding shoes,
and the man at her feet was the clerk
who was fitting her."
"Her wedding shoes! You don't
mean to say that that girl has at last
caught husband2'
$50 they say"
"Who is the unhappy man3'
'tMyself. Detroit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
First Publ Building at Washington,

The White House was the first public
building in Washington. The premium
of $500 for the best design was given to
James Hohan, a young Irishman, then
living in Charleston, S. G. The first
funds, $4,000 and S72, 900, were
furnished by Virginia and Maryland re-
spectively, and Congress was finally in-
duced to appropriate the sum necessary
to finish 1t. Up to the present time its
total cost has amounted to So, 332, 0)0.
or this sum $3.50, 900 has been spent in
finishing, furnishing and caring for the
building since 1897; 1852, 600 in repair
ing it since 1907; $373,000 in improv-
ing the grounds siuce 1918, and SIS, 900
in the erection and care of the green
houses aud conservatories. The corner
stone was laid October 13, 1899, in the
presence of General Washington aud the
District Commissioners, PUBLIC opiu.
ion,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
e Cannot Take the Bit.

The chief of the Kansas City (Ho.)
Fire Department has invented a new
bride for horses, the use of which
makes it impossible for the horse to
take the bit between his teeth. 1t has
no bit to take. 1t is arranged with a
strap over the horses nose, and q steel
curb under his jaw in such way that
hard pull on the reins make the animal
very uncomfortable indeed. Ths new
bride works to perfection, it is said, on
a practical test, keeping the horse per-
fectly under control. while giving him
the minimum of discomfort. One great
advantage of the contrivance is that it
enables the animal to eat aud drink in
comfort without displacing the bridle.-
New York News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
HIS TERRIBLE REVENGE.

"So2' exclaimed Harold We're &C
We're, folding his arms and regarding
the young woman with stern, pitiless
gaze, "you have cast me aside, Mabel
FeatLeroone, in order to get rich
widowcr, have you9"
"lf you choose to speak of it in that
coarse manner, NJ. We're de Vere," she
replied, raising her head and meeting
his gaze haughtily. ~ have, sirl l
have promised to marry Mr.. Wagonsel-
lers."
Harold We're de We're crushed bis hat
down over his eyes and started for the
door.
"Mabel Fcatherbone, he said, paus.
ing with his hand on the door knob,
"you have thrown ME over for man
with bari. You will find he is not
the only man with bari. have one at
home filled with your love letters! 1
shall sell them to the ragmau. Good
evening gl"-Chicago Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
How to Guess q Moman's ARe.

A volume of memoirs has lust been
published giving the experiences of
French President of Assizes. It bears
curious testimony to the inaccuracy of
women on the subject OF their own ages.
As the writer's information 10 from the
calender, he speaks only of the criminal
classes. The only instances in which he
finds correct dates given by women are
when they are under twenty-five or
over eighty five. At these periods OF
life, he says, they are to be trusted.
Atall other periods the sure controlling
tendency is to understate. The magis.
trate has been able to give rule for
guidance. He finds that female prison.
ers invariably state their ages as twenty
nine, thirty nine, forty-nne or fifty-nine
and from this remarkable circumstance
he deduces his rule. If their ages are in
the forties, they bodily set them down in
the thirties, but conscience asserting
itself, they keep as nenr the truth as they
can and fix them at thifty-nine. Whether
male criminals do the same the magistrate
does not stste.-London News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
august.
Flower.

clam ready to testify under oath
that if it had not been for August
Flower should have died before
this. Eight years ago was taken
sick, and suffered as no one but
a dyspeptic can. 1 employed three
of our best doctors and received
no benefit. They told me that had
heart, kidney, and liver trouble.
Everything l ate distressed ME so
that 1 had to throw it up. August
Flower cured me. There is no med
icine equal to it." LORENZO F.
SLEEpER, Appleton, Maine. @
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
Ee-"PasSed the candy store without
stop ping. New York Weekly.
IN DOUBT.

Patient-"WelT. Doctor, how do you
find things to-days"
d, ctor (cheerfully) &c feel very
much better satisfied"
Patient-'I feel worse than ever.
What have you discovered that makes
you feel so assured?"
Doctor-'I am satisfied now that the
medicine | have been giving you for
the last three months has not been do
ing you bit of good. was in doubt
about it before. Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
1T WOULDN'T BURN.

Jackson Park-.'How do you do,
Pata how are you getting along in your
new business2"
Pat-"Forst sthrate; but how do yez
loike me new foire proof safei"
Jackson Park-"An right; but how
do you know it is fire proofa"
Pat-"Faith, didn't thry it wild
match before Oi bought it it!"-PucS.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
"A SUCCESS"

F. J. Cheney G. Co., Toledo O., Gent1emen:--
I have suffered from catarrh for about five years
and have tried several remedies without relief
until commenced to use Halls Catarrh Cure last
February. l must say that it is A SUCCESS,
the dropping in my throat disappeared entirely
after the first bottle. 1t increased my appetite SO
that now weigh eight pounds more than my Gus
tomary weight l have recommended it to others
and all who used it have been greatly relieved and
speak highly of it. One of then-was in my store
yesterday and expressed his wish to peddle it this
winter Will you please let me know the lowest
terms you could furnish it for, as would like to
keep it in stock. Hoping to hear from you
soon, remain, Yours respectfully,
r. c. HAUSWEDELL,
Lake City, MINI
SOLD BY DRUGGISTS, 75c.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

Canon Carr may now be said to be- tho
sealthiest clergyman in England, he
having inherited the vast estates of Sir
William Evans, the Derbyshire Baronet
who died some weeks since. The Canon
was connected with the late Baronet by
marriage only.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
BEGAN TO EcoNoMIzE.

She-"As we are to be married in
June, doA't you think you ought to be-
gin to economical"
He-"Oh, I've begun already. That
very thought occurred to me this even.
ing as was coming here"
She--."What did you dof'
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER.

Mamma-"Mr. de Bank asked me to-
day, daughter, if he might marry you.
Daughter-''And what did you say,
mammal"
Mamma-.''I said 1 had no objections,
If you hadn't"
Daughter (demurely).- ."That's what
/ told him last night, mamma. DE
troit Free Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
rRovINe ms INNooENcE.

Mamma-"Wna in the world are YOU
making such noise down there fora'
Roderick-"To let you know how
good am"
Mamma-"Why do you think you are
good when making SO great II noisea"
Observation-Disclosures you always say
I'm in mischief when I'm quiet. ."-Har-
per's Young People.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

English Ignorance of America did mol
begin with this generation. Goldsmith
description of Niagara Falls includes the
statement that "some Indians in their
canoes, asst is said, have ventured down
it in safety.'
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
THAT RESTLESS UMBRELLA.

"Did you ever get back the umbrella
that you lent Brasher2'
Eyes"
"How7r
81 borrowed it again."
''From Brasher?"
'No; from the man he lent it TO. -
Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
CHAsTIsEMENT.

Mrs. Chessers-"Yes, my daughter is
very fond of my piano."
Mrs. Caustique-''Indeed2 Then why
does she pound it go hard every morn.
ingf'-Chicago News Recoad.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

The Sultan OF Turkey has ordered
competitive trial of Krupp and Gail
cannon. The latter are used by the
French army; and the Ottoman army has
been using the former.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

A phenomenal success in pennH journalism
THE P1TrsBURG PRESS, Pennsylvania's pioneer
in cheap journalism, has attained an average
daily and SUNDAY circulation of over A., 900 as
shown by its last sworn statement THE Press
is sent by mail or delivered by carrier for
25 cents per month for the daily and cents
per month for the Sunday edition.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
FIXED.

Crummer-"Voke is man OF great
tenacity of purpose"
Gllleland-"Why do you say so?"
Crummer-'I have known him to
keep the same umbrella through whole
rainy season. Truth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
BLUE WITH GOLD.

Young Mrs. Fitts--"This is the bluest
milk ever saw"
Milkman-"Yes'm, it's blue with the
cold. indianapolis Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
WHAT SHE DID.

Husband (who married money!
"You have made me poor wife. -,
Wife-"That may be true; but. L made
you rich husband. Puck.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

~ have been occasionally troubled with
Coughs, and in each case have used BRowNs
BRoNCHIAL TRoCHEs, which have never failed,
and must say they are serond to none in the
world."-Felir A. Nay, Cashier, 50. Paul, MHn
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

"Remember that in Garfield Tea you have an
unfailing remedy for Indigestion, Sick Head
ache and every attending i'll that an abused
stomach can make you suffer. Every druggist
sells it. 2c., 60c. and 81"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
CHANCE FOR HERoIsM.

Adorcr (anxiously)-"What did your
father say!"
Sweet Girl-"o,, he got so angry
was afrai1 to stay and listen. He's in a
perfectly terrible rage. Go in an anpcase
him. New York Weekly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
COURSE OF LOVE TOO SMOOTH.

Maud-"Why did she throw him over2
She liked him well enough, know
Georgiana-"Ycs, but her parents ap-
proved of him. Chicago New, Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
A DIFFERENT NAME.

4 -DIFFEKENT NAME.
"Where are you living now7"
"Pm boarding."
"Good tousei"
"Pretty."
'.Ever have hash?'
"My, nai croquettes. ."-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

FAST FLYERS.
Boy-''Thc teacher says ducks fly at
the rate of 200 miles an hour"
Father-"That's nothing. Pheasants
fly at the rate of thousand miles an
hour"
Boy-"How dye know?'
Father-"Tve tried to shoot en-
Good News.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

Not person has been killed in Maine
railroad wreck since 1889.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
TABLE TALK.

Sim the unluckiest dog alive" said
the Cayenne; Somebody's always shak-
ing me down and leaving me in the
SOUP"
"fhat's just what makes me hot" re-
torted the Consomme.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
DIDN'T STRIKE OIL.

"Juggins told me yesterday he hadn't
a dollar left"
"Ais money was well spent, though. :"
"How?'
''Boring for oil. l."-Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

Liverpool has the largest local debt of any
town in England.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
DIDN'T LAUGH.

eyes, she said, 81 shall marry
Harold, for rknow he loves me-
uHnH2n
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
WHY!

"What makes Tompkirs so stuck
up2'
"Oh, because he's well posted,
guess. Truth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

United States has 73, 900 paupers.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

England has revived an old law against
swearing.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

comfort From Hawaii-Why-Wh
She Did-Bluc With Cold-The
Course OF Love Too smooth, ETC.
There's peacefuness of feeiin.
-. That will come serensly stealing
oer the minds of those who con the newsy
page;
For life there's some endurance
-, Since we're given the assurances
That Queen Lii isn't going on the stage.
Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

"He watched me sharpen pencil and
didn't laugh. Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-04-10

! Ger the minds of those who con the newsy
| page;
For fife there's some endurance
| -, Since we're given the assurances
mat Qusel Lii isn't going on the stage.
Washington Star
WHY.
"What makes Tompkirs so stuck
up2'
"oh, because he's well posted,
guess. Truth.
WHAT SHE DID.
Husband (who married money!
"You have made me a poor wife. .''
Wlfe-"That may be true; but. Il made
you rich husband. Puck.
BLUE WITH GOLD.
Young Mrs. Fitts--"This is the bluest
milk ever saw"
Milkman-"Yes'm, it's blue with the
cold. indianapolis Journal.
COURSE OF LOVE TOO SMOOTH.
Maud-"Why did she throw him over Z
She liked him we'll enough, know
Georgiana-"Ycs, but her parents ap-
proved OF him. Chicago New, Record.
oHAsTIsEMENT.
Mrs. Chessers-"Yes, my daughter is
very fond of my piano."
Mrs. Caustique-t'Indeed2 Then why
does she pound it go hard every morn.
ing2"-Chicago News Recoad.
DIDN'T LAUGH.
EYES, she said, 81 shall marry
Harold, for Tknow he loves me-"
"How?"
"He watched me sharpen pencil and
didn't laugh. Washington Star.
DIDN'T STRIKE OIL.
"Juggins told me yesterday he hadn't
dollar left"
"ais money was well spent, though. :"
.Howl"
"Boring for oil. oil."-Washington Star.
FIXED.
Crummer-"Vokes is q man OF great
tenacity of purpose"
Glleland-"Why do you say so2"
Crummer-"I have known him to
keep the same umbrella through a whole
rainy season. Truth.
CHANCE FOR nERoIsM.
Adorer (anxiously)-"What did your
father say {"
Sweet Girl-"0a, he got so angry
was afraid to stay and listen. He's in a
perfectly terrible rage. Go in an appcase
him. New York Weekly.
TABLE TALK.
"1m the unluckiest dog alive" said
the Cayenne; somebody always shak-
ing me down aud leaving me in the
SOUP"
That's just what makes me hot" re-
torted the Consomme.-
ADIFFERENT NAME.
"Where are you living nowl"
"l'm boarding."
"Good touse2"
"Pretty."
'.Ever have hash?'
"My, n3i croquettes. "-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
FAST FLYERS.
Boy-''The teacher says ducks fly at
the rate of 200 miles an hour"
Father-"That's nothing. Pheasants
fly at the rate of a thousand miles an
hour"
Boy-"How dye know2'
Father-"Ive tried to shoot en-
Good News.
THAT RESTLESS UMBRELLA.
"Did you ever get back the umbrella
that you lent Brasher?'