Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1893-01-12
MOTHER IN-LAW.

told 'em L wus goin tn marry the German
gentleman that had boarded to Aunt Sa-
rah's all summer. They wus opposed tn
furriners, you see but when they knowed
him they couldn't help ownin up that he
wus real pleasant, and the way he learned
American wus enough tn amaze sea sar.
pent. Why, 'twarn't six months before he
spoke it jest as perfect as eour folks did,
cen almost, only fur the" He couldn't
never say the" aud never won't, but his
grammer couldn't find no fault with my
self
And jest about then he perposed tn me
and / married him.
Well, twas sort Of funny tn be called
Mis- Schimmelwizer Chats the nearest |
ever hev come tn my married name yet.
When | write | alters sign myself "Nep-
tany," as formerly, but nobody objected
had jest the shiniest little house-most
everything was vanished soft you stuck
tn 1t passing ef you warn't keerful, and
the lumferkins was gorgeous. But intu
the midst of this here paradise came a sar-
pent. WAL, so it kinder seemed tu me at
fust.
Twas a letter sayin that Paups mar wus
hcomin tn live with him. Seemed to me
should expire when he translated that
letter intu American. SEE !, II want tn
knowP' That wus all could say. As fur
him, he wus wild with Joy. / expected to
See him turn summersots.
Now l half all dat heart couldt vishn
he said, dat best beloved und ever de-
voted Of moders und dis dearest of vivesp'
didn't want to hurt his feelings, no
tried to grin; but it wasn't easy.
so" he said, I've shall be a 'appy party
She will teach you tn cook sauerkraut und
make noodle soup"
"That'll be real nice, " SEE |, trying not tn
heller right out, though tears would come
"Ah, We feel de same" he said, getting
cut his handkerchief. See, weep also.
And We will ave Of music. All, she plays
on de violin. All, beautiful-dot accom-
plished moderl''
Now, didn't know jest what he meant
by a,"wiolin," but | said, "Well, like a
tune myself, whatever it is on" and l let
him talk ON till he had tn 20 tn the store
Then jest sot down and give up. Moth
ers-in.law amt pleasant prosper anyway,
but furrin ones, SEE | tn myself, must
be even wuss and all my peace and happi-
ness seemed tn me tn be hyin Jest as fast
as 1t could up chimney.
Next day wus Sunday. and we went tn
church, and the minister's tex wus about
bearin the burdens that wus Civ you tn
carry, and he preached beautiful and
comm out, SEE | tn myself: well, seein
what awful packs some has tn carry about,
ought tn be willin tn take my easy one
10 I'll jest hist my mother-in-lsw pig-a.
back and get along the best kin with her.
And I'd orter, fur Paul is real good, and
deserves it, and man that loves his mar
will love his wife" And thought what
. wicked thing it wus fur a wife tn sot
herself against her husbands mother, that
he'd suffered fur him, and cared fur him,
and carried him in her arms, and sot up
with him when he he'd Group and measles,
and like as not saved up and wore old bun
nits tn give him schoolin, and walked
cut ON Paul's arm feelin real good and
Christian, and made fopover fur dessert
He was goin away for a few days The
hrm he'd sent him tn buy fur them-which
vus step-and his salary wus to be
raised-which warn't tn be despised ef
nars-in-law, however worthy, wus cumin
and we parted as feelin as ef we wus
steddy company; fur, with 30 many blow
ups and collisums in all the newspapers,
who could be sure. we'd ever meet againi
"Oh, may he come back safe" seq tn
myself as | watched the retreatin COW
catcher. Even hevin a Dutch mother-in-
law is preferentiable tn bein a widder,"
and / went home calkerlatin tn put things
tn rights, and invite mar and Mirandy and
Lizer Jane tn come and pay me visit.
And l had got things pretty slick and
wus Just polishin of the front windows
with a shammy, when somebody hollered
tn me from down below, Say, ladyp' and
when turned my head, so as tn see him
good, there wus a man lookin up at the
house and SEE he, Excuse me, lady, but do
you know of anybody that's expectin a
Dutch lady''
When heard that, 1 wonder that 1
didn't tumble out OF the window, wus 80
skeered and upset.
"Wait a minute" SEE /. "I'll cum
down" And down went.
There he stood.
Lady, excuse me-" seq he again. "I've
been drivin Dutch lady and her trunk
around the hull mornin, fur I've got a
mother myself, and hadn't the heart tn
leave her in the street, especial as l zee
that she wus beset tu get herself run over,
"a they mostly are. She's jest off a Ger
man steamer, and she's lookin fur her son
so the man that put her aboard said
and she's lost paper she he'd the direc-
tion writ on, but / think it was somewhere
about here"
YES" SEE |, 81 guess it must be. I'm
expectin my mar-in-law from Germany"
"Well, am thankful" sez he. She's
jest around the corner, and I'll fetch her
up"
So he went away, and expected tn see
cab drive up, but instead Of that in a min
ute he cum leadin dray horse, and on the
dray wus a big blue trunk and a bundle,
and ON the trunk wus-I scursly know
what-looked like a dirty ball Of knittin
wusted as much as anything, or two or
three old stockings raveed out and punched
together. but IL was bellern out loud and
sayfn suthin despurit in Dutch, and claspin
Its mitts-red mitts it he'd onto it--and |
made out 'twus an old lady. And when
the drayman had h'isted her down and
tried TO make her understand she he'd orter
pay fur her ride, but couldn't, 80 / paid,