The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-05-18
WIT AND HUMOR.
THE BABY IN THE TOP FLAT.


When the dawn breaks and we're longing to
Down comes your ear-spltting voice through
Households Bazoo.
Many man who starts off well"
spoils everything by coming back
Cleveland Piaindeaier.
As to prevailing fashions, the close
OF winter seems rather long in the
back.-PhiLadeLDhld Times.
sYou can not afford to curse all your
friends enemies, yet this is what some
friends expect GdtoeSton Ne1CS.
As baseball salaries are cut down
the pitcher becomes more and more OF
a growler. Philadelphia Record.
$50 she is going to marry him9"
Yes" Does she love himP' 1T is
impossible to tell. He is rich. N Y.
Press.
Harry-Does she know you love
her? Fred--She can't help knowing
it. Why. she told me she had $4,000
year.-LJe.
Mrs. Poeticus-Isn't this hat poem,
dear? PoeticuS (sadlv as he looks at
the bilD-I wish | could write that
kind.-Pttc6.
That bandmaster had proper idea
of the fitness OF things who ordered
that his musicians should wear tunics.
boston Courier.
Customer-Why do YOU refer to this
folding-bed as she? CIcrk-Because,
sir, there is no danger OF its shutting
up.-Detrott Free Press.
She-So you're fully determined to
marry her, are you? He-Absolutely.
She-H'm. Don't you ever feel sorry
for hcr?-Detrojt Tribune.
Bluster-I made speech tonight at
the banquet which will make me i'm
mortal Mis-. B.-And it was only last
month that you got your life insured!
boston Transcript.
About the most discouraging thing
that comes to man in this life is the
desire to thrash an enemy, coupled
with the belief that he can't do it
CleUeiaRd PLatNdeaLer.
Penelope-It's dreadful. Papa wants
me to marry man | have never seen.
Perdita-That's nothing! Ny father
p. Dc S. S. o.'S Bulletin.
Clara-Jack, can you return my
love? Jack (who has an understand
ing" with Clara's sister)-Clara, can
not. But will always be a brother
in-law to you.-Br0oktym Life.
The great difficulty about politics is
that it is utterly impossible for the ap-
pointments to make any kind of a nu-
merical showing alongside of the dis
appointments.-I IFaSLtRgton Star.
Weary Watkins-Bv the way, what
is your politics? Hungry Higgins-I
guess | am a sort OF 4 mugwump. Me
appetite is democrat, but ME whiskers
is spopulist.-I1dtanap0Lis Journal.
First Statesman-I can truly say
that no man ever sought to bribe me.
Second Ditto--O, well, / wouldn't be
discouraged. Your luck may change
some time or other.- Boston Tran
script.
Ruth-No girl could have refused
him if he had proposed to her as sweet
" us he proposed to me. Mabel-But
YOU must rememb Der, dear, that he has
had great deal of experimentation
per'S BdzdF.
Mrs. McCordle-It strikes me that
it is awfully disagreeable for you to
talk in your sleep every night. Me-
Cordle-l agree with you, my dear;
but nave to improve my opportunity,
you know.-Puck.
"Those cigars gave you have lasted
you long time, haven't they, dear?"
Yes" replied her husband. The
clerk who sold them TO me warranted
them to wear" she said complacently.
Washington star.
Figg-They tell me that Blumley is
a man of high principles. Fo@g-You
may well say that. His principles are
dent of the confederacv, was received
several days ago. 1t is bound album
containing over eighty specimens OF
notes issued by the confederate states.
A peasant blowing near the village
of Povcura, in Spain, a fortnight ago
turned up an amphora filled with gold
and silver coins, all in a good state OF
preservation. The gold coins are
somewhat larger than a 25-cent piece
and on one side is the inscription
"Sabina Augusta Hadriana, G. K. A. p"
The figure of a Roman soldier is on
the other side.
Rev. I. Marshall, in his work or
football. says: Football in Ireland
may be said to consist of three parts
/ Rugbeian, Associationist and Gaelic.
The rule of play in these organizations
( has been defined as follows: In Rug
by. you kick the ball; in Association
/ you kick the man if you cannot kicf
/ the ball, and in Gaelic, you kick the
/ ball if you cannot kick the man"
An interesting discovery was lately
made at Glastonbury, Somersetshire
/ England, OF the remains of an ancient
{ lake village. From sixty to seventy
/ low mounds. rising from one to two
I feet above the surrounding soil, anC
[ from twenty TO thirty feet across, were
( found on the level moor which stretehe
to the British channel. Many curiou:
objects were found.
4 Savannah drummer SAYS drum
mer vino had had great many deal
ings with the Macon lawyers went on
recently to Rosehill cemetery ant
amused himself reading the inscrip
tions on the tombstones. He tinall,
! came across one that read: Here lie
lawyer and an honest man" Turn
ing to his friend, he said: "Bill. wha
made them bury those Two fellows il
the same grave::"
He is a very unSaphislieated youn
man who would undertake to talk iov
TO ii woman or a bargain day.-Ifsd
Gisap0it5 J0arAai.