The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1893-09-09

unS game d SOOu uedi CuteI tudu we
ust to. -
Why"
..Bekase we've fooled the people in
to yotin' the Republican ticket so often
that you've got to bait the hook awful
nice or you can't ketch your sucker. :"
But of course you can fix up the
bait all right"
"Bet yer buttons we kin. You
know Pete Lemons, and Seth Skim
mons, and Rube Smokers, and Bile
Jones, and Nick Snodgrass?'i
"Certainly!n
"You know they're the pizinest
Democrats in the township"
Eyes.
"Well we've got 'em all hotter'n
hades at the Democratic party, and
they're swearin' that they'll vote the
Republican ticket from top to bottom. :"
"You astonish me.n
Il knowed / would. That's what
we sot out to do. y
"What turned them?"
Choke Smith.
What had Hoke Smith to do with
them?i
"You know they're all soldiers and
ust to draw pensions?"
Certainly they draw pensions yet,
don't they?"
'sNop."
WHY"
"Bekase we got EN- stopped. y
" Who got them stopped?,,
"Our fellers.
"ln what way?n
"Well, you see, we all sot down and
writ Hoke Smith that they were tar
nation frauds and didn't deserve pen
sions. Then he suspended 'em fur
sixty days and sent 'em notice that
they wuz to explain away the charges. y
"What made you do that"
"Bekase they wuz Democrats. s.
but they were good soldiers, and
each deserves the pension he receives. :"
"And they WIZ Democrats, too, and
thar's where the joke comes in. We
knowed that if their pensions wuz
held up couple of months they'd git
so alfred hot under the collar that
they'd vote the Republican ticket be-
fore they found out they'd been fool
ed"
But it's disgrace to treat old vet
Grams that way"
''Oh, hold on now, and don't get so
techy. We're only dom of it fur
the good of the Republican cause.
They'll git their pensions arter while
when the thing is zamined into, and
they won't lose nothin' Well git
their votes for the Republican ticket,
and in that there way Wen make.
somethin'."
"And this is what you call politics."
Eyes stree, our kind of politics.
We want the votes, and we amt GO
in to miss chance like this to git
EN-.
"Have you had the pensions OF any
Republican soldiers suspended on
charges like these?"
mot much. We amt fools by a
long shot. We don't interfere with
no Republicans pension
"Why not?n
"Bekase they'll vote the Republican
righteous.
"Well, my opinion that this pro-
ceeding is disgraceful remains I'M
changed.
'What of that? We don't keer
what you think, so we git the votes.
That's what counts when it comes to
gitten' the offices. We'd be fools eff
we didn't work every thing that comes
in cur way"
"And you think it is honorable?"
awe think it is politics"
"What kind of polotics?"
s.Our kind The real, genyine old
Republican kind that you read about"
''But why shold you deceive your
neighbors?"
''I'd fool my grandfather eff | could
get his vote a-doin' it. That's the only
smart thing to do when the party's in
a hard row of stumps."
"Have you any other schemes for
deceiving the people?"
Lots of EN-. We've got no end Of
farmers on the string. We're yankin'
them gally west"
GLOW do you do that"
"When a farmer sells his wheat for
flfty-five cents a bushel, we say:
That's on account of old Cleveland. !"
"When he gifts So bushel for clio
ver-seed, we say: That's on account
of the Mckinley bill"
"When he gifts twenty cents pound
fur his WOOL we say: That's on ac-
count of old Cleveland free trade"
"When he gifts $40 a ton fur hay,
we say: That's on account Of McKin-
ley and perfection
''And that's the way we go right
along. Whenever the price Of emmy
thing is low we lay it on Cleveland
and free trade"
EFF ennything sells at good price
we say its on account of Mckinley and
perfection. It's big card to play.
You ought to see how we kin make it
work.
''But suppose the price Of some ar
ticle, like live hogs, Tor instance,
would advance"
"Then we'd change. Some time
ago we laid the price Of hogs on Cleve-
land and free trade, but the price
went up and we gave Mckinley and
perfection credit for it,"
"The price of wheat has been adj
vancing for two weeks"
''Oh, we are watching that with
both eyes, We're laying the price on
old Cleveland free trade yit. But eff
it goes up a few pints more we'll
change off and whoop it up fur Mckin-
ley and perfection.
"You have no ijee how this thing
kin be worked till you git right down
to the biZness in earnest"
"And you think that votes secured
in this way rebound to the benefit of
the public welfare?"
"They help us to git office, and
that's all we're a keering fur this year.
TIN be time enough to git up a high
moral tone next year Fool 'em and
you'll win is our motto. So long! l
want to fool Joe Brown about his
wheat and git Lige Slemmons' pension
stopped fur sixty days"
And the matches Republican lead
err went smiling to his work WAT.
MEMS fine shoes reduced from