The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1893-02-17
GIMME FADDEN PHIL osopHlzEs
He Discovers an Unexpected Trait in Miss
Fannie,


der dey is torrowbreds like Miss Fannie,
dey is all queer See? was teilin yer bout
de mug wot is stuck on Miss Fannie squarin
isself wild 'is w'iskers, Miss Fannie fadder
Dat fslly e is a torrOwbred, an now dat
e is all square wild lis w'iskers e is maxim
up fer lost time round our way OATS
right. Say, was goin ter tell yer bout
how queer womin is but guess Pm gettin
er little loony meself, all along wild de
same game. If yuse soc any er me old gang
don't put dem on to de way Chimmie Fad
den lost us grip, cause dey'd string de life
outer me, an couldn't kid dem back, all
along wild womin bein so queer. See?
WELL ware was | at? De mug wot
squared ITSELF wild is w'skersS OATS
right. Twas telliL yer bout Us bein up ter
our house all de time now. Well, de funny
ting erbOut it is dat now dat o 5 back an
ev'ryt'ing is up to de limit wild Miss Fannie,
she amt breakin 'er neck no more bout no
| orphans, nor no kids in hospitals wild crook
! ed legs, nor no old womin wot amt got no
good grub, nor no Bibles in de slums. See?
Say, amt dat kinder queer' Yuse
would tink dat now dat things is comm 'er
way more dan enough she'd be t'inkin bout
de dead ducks an dinky backed kids, an old
womin outer work, wot amt got nothin
comm dere way sept de winter, an de land
| lord, an do measles, and dose t'ingA OATS
right, amt it!
Say, was er farmer ter t'ink so. Wom-
In Is queer, An de more yllse think er bout
dere game de moro Of farmer yuse get till
yuse can't see fer de hayseed fallin outer
| yer hair. OATS straight
"Lemme ted ye. was sayin To de Ouch
ess dat WAS paralyEed cause Miss Fannie
| quit de sluns and things like dat ~ soon as
de mug wot IL 'er felly comes back. De
Duchess she says ter me, she says, in dat
form French dago wot she talks English in,
| ye know, says she, 'Chimmie,' she says,
'yusS are little heather fool, an don't
know wot love IL. says she. SeeI
Duchess says I, putin me arm round
'eF waist ware We WAS sittin one night when
she was waitin for Miss Fannie to come
home, says l, tell me wot it is, says l, like
! dat Seer
Den she says dat love is wot made Miss
Fannie go inter der slums, an love was wot
makes 'er forget the slumA
did yuse ever hear such talk like datl
Say, she must take me fer er worse gillie
dan am, an dots wat was sayin tor 'er
when in ware we was sittin walks dat mug
! was tellin ye OF wot fixes lis w'iskers'
shirts and things like dat, wot dey calls lis
w'iskers' valley.
Say, IN slug dc head often dat valley
some day, sure
"W'en e comes in de Duchess she chases
me to de odder side de room an begins get
fyix yV, do LAUGH inI1
dat valley till | was near dead wild not
KNOWN wedder was in it or not. Seer
"Wen she'd give me de laugh and jollied
dat valley till I'd been off me base if I'd
hung round dePe any longer, | chased me
self out to de barn an pegged de coachman's
kid in de mout' fur stringin me on bein
cooked.
well, | had me buttons off, an was
rugged up in me new dude harness wot Miss
Fannie gives me fer meself de day after !
helped square er foley wild lis w'iskers at
de club an l gets tired peggin de kid, an
gets tired Of everything, so goes out on de
avenue fer walk. Yuse never seed ME in
dat harness, did yeS Say, it would kill ye
dead to see me In 1t. look like acter
sure"
"As was tellin ye, went ont on d.
street, an who de ye t'ink l meetsY Miss
Fannie's felley a-comin away from de house
ware ed fetched Miss Fannie an lis wis
kers from de t'eater dey'd been ter. Isnamt
is Burton, but dey calls i'm Hal, cause u:
front name is Harry, an e was w'istlir
; like 'er kid, wen e sees me an says says e
Hello, Chimmie,' y says, out fer de air3
says e.
Ppm going to wet me new harness.
says
Den 'e Taught an says, says e, Here!
something to wet dsm wild q says, al
gives me a PUNK.
u Il pockets de PUNK wen pipes me of
jes' under de lectric light, an 'e says kind
er jollying me, says e, Yer off yer feed
Chimmie, % says; 'wot's ailin YEP
Say, down ware / was raised wese dom
gochasin roun tellin wen wese gets de gaff
fer ye'd only get de laugh fer it. Seer Blu
e was kinder jolly wild $ way, and wa.
kinder looney, guess, so tells i'm how
, was outer de game wild de Duchess, and ),
r didn't give me de laugh ert'all
, "'E taut er vile; den e says, says 'e
Amt der anodder Duchess in de houseT =
says.
"'Dere is little chip says, 'wot dust
de rooms and things like dat says, mean
in one er de help what had been kinde
jollyin me. But she amt me size says l.
r Never mind de size says e. 'Jes' yus
] jolly 'er Tomorrow, and let de Duchess Sc
{ it, 'e says, an things will come yer way,
/ guess says e.
, Say, wot wants to know is how ,
could know dat. See?
But lemme tell We. De next day meet
de chip jes' as | seed de Duchess er comi
long ds hall, an begins jollyin 'er up to d
limit, like de mug-Mr. Burton, mean
9 had put me on to, See?
5 Say, yed died if ye'd seed de Duchess
@ She told de chip te chase 'erself te
I housekeeper, an den she sung me a Ion
r, song an dance bout me bein flirt an ting
like dat, wot dey talks erbout out on to
y er de stage, an says, says she, t'rowin 'erse
, on me shoulder, she says, 'Chimmie, yus
have broken me heart says she. Dat
C straight. Sure.
l. But wait till tell ye. Jes' den dG
s valley comes chasin ITSELF along, an We
n do yuse t'ink dat Duchess doneS Say, ST
4 gives i'm err slap in der jaw an gives II
: kissl
Now, wot tell does dose things mea1
> Dat mug, Mr.. Burton, 'emust know, eau!
= 'eput me onter de game. But e chase
s ITSELF all over form part te find out WI
s t'inkin.
p che next time I seed i'm tells i'm III