The Van Buren press., 1893-08-19
PAPA WAS TOO SUDDEN.
He sent out the birth Cards Before Ascef-
t.inInr the sex Of HIS First Born.

t.ininr the so1 Of HIS First Born.
Ont ON Drexel boulevard In an impo-
sinply luxurious home there recently
materialized royalty welcomed "giit
of the storks" with NO attributes vis,'
BILE to the naked eye worthy the fui.
some plorification accorded other than
q wee puckered red pippin OF fsce
and a prodigiously healthy pair OF
lungs. which she scrupled not OF exer-
.ising.
Her fragile mother could imagine no
more exquisite pleasure than TO ionoie
with timid ceresses the stolid mite
which lay swathed beside her, but
adoring, incredulous papa's behavior
was reprehensible, to say the least. he
pereqrinated about the palatial man
sion with his long-skirted hostage TO
fortune-indignant or quiescent as best
suited its humor-and proved lmpervi-
GUS alike to the gutturally voluble re-
monstrance of a portentously solemn
party of the Sairey Camp style OF arch
| itecture and the half-audible raillery OF
tittering servitors. =.
"Mother-in- n-!aw''-that antique motif
of ostensible dispensers Of labeled attic
salt-in this case was misfit, the sill
very-haired patrician doing graceful
duty as such being more like an elder
sister to the blissfully happy young
couple. and honored manifestly, but
dreaded not particle.
When Aunt Simpson" after per.
forming the appalling dread rite OF
ascertaining the temperature OF the
Madonna-faced patient tentively COM
plained-probably for the hundredth
time-she was consoled by the laugh.
ing assurance that when "Mr. Bron-
sons mother" arrived that same even
ing affairs would assume different
complexion-and with q grunt OF su.
oreme satisfaction she bided her time
If reckoning.
Mother dear! The baby's come.
md he's . hummer. There! Did you
.ver hear such hubbub? He'll give
he fellows on change lively tune
some day, I'll be bound" as the proud
!ather gleefully conducted his deter
mined faced maternal ancestor to the
holy of holies."
Aunt Simpson" after q cursory
survey, waxed suddenly and unaccount-
ably servile, as the penetrating gray
ayes met hers, and q pleasant, low
voiced-exacting and dominant, how
.ver-greeted her, for the despot's sway
was ended.
Frederick, you are not to handle
baby so recklessly. See, you render
Ada nervously excited when you carry
it from her"-and Frederick Bronson,
tower of obstinate energy, paused
with his uplifted first-born and amazed
ly confronted the arbiter.
"Why! nonsense, mother. He likes
me to trot with him, or did," he hastily
interpolated, as the ilmy-robed in
FAINT challenged that broad assertion
by series of angry, protesting howls.
my baby" he resumed firmly, but
ruefully, surveying the small element
Of discord, lis to undergo q system Of
training distipctively of my own In.
vention that will render him an honor
to us all, and It's none too early to
begin to initiate him now. He's
spunky, by Geofrey, to start with.
for the wriggling midget in q convul.
sive rebound had deftly administered
: left-handed stinger to the mentor.
Frederick Bronson, Jr. Sounds
grand. Eh, mother? Eyes like Ada
and the rogue knows me already. Nc
sight, eh? Fudge! He knows all that,
going on. I'll give him walk down
the hall for q constitutional and then
resign him to 'hims muzzer wuzzer,' a.
I heard Ada call herself this after
noon"
The autocrat's mother smiled hlapdl,
and gracefully accepted the capitula
ton.
"Arrant foolishness! Angry, for
sooth. And why, pray? Isn't cherul
of girl-baby as much to be desired a
boy My son is surely not to fallov
the example of the horrid Chinese II
know it. Here he Is with his promis
ing aspirant for board of trade honors
Now, to enlighten him.
ats all right, of course, darling, bu
why didn't you let them tell me ? No
pleased unless it was q boy? Well
now, you are delirious, dearest''-as h,
tenderly embraced the fair youn)
mother and gurglingly content angelo
visitant-
"Blest If it isn't the worst scrap
yet I've stood slumps in wheat an,
twist tobacco squeezes in eornere,
stocks but how to lieuidate when thos
confounded boys and out that the sew
On hundred odd birth cards I've writer
are fakes is what settles me. Whew
But the annotations on some Of then
make me shiver, and I thought then
sublime when Wrote them Won't
be guyed, though Oh never. Cam
play of printers error. either, be
cause old pig head could write eyery
one"
And with a cry Of Ibsenic despair h
hearkened to the urgent summons Q
wailing Miss FredsrickA, who havinI
whileA away the time allotted for re
freshment wished for a saunter.-Chi
cago Times.
WHERE DRESSES po NOT PIT,