Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-03-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

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v0ice.-Truth.
Not common bark-An ocean grey
hound.-New York Journal.
On the roll of fame-The champion
wheelman. Galveston News.
A discarded official standing about is
out of place.--New Orleans Picayune.
The man who fancies he writes poetry
frequently wrongs it.-New York Morn
ing journal.
Old Diogenes would have had an
anxious time of it in France.-Louisville
Courier Journal.
1t is certainty of continuance. not the
present amount, that is the measure of
Kindness
When there is great falling off in
hod-carrier's business some one gets hurt.
New Orleans Picayune.
The best cure for trouble is labor.
Who ever heard of wood-sawyer COM
mitting suicide9-Buffalo Enquirer.
Law, physic or divinity
Which is the easiest of the three?
Divinity; because the fact is
'Tis easier preaching than to practice.
Judge.
Little Elsie-"Who was Shakespeare,
pa?" Scribblems (the play wright)-
"One of my predecessors, child. Tit
Bits.
just as soon as young man finds that
he can't have girl he begins to imagine
that he can't do without her.-Dallas
News.
''This is vane struggle" as the
breeze said after trying and failing to
turn the weathercock. k.-Philadelp
Record.
No man can sleep we'll in cloudy
weather when he knows that he has a
sandy foundation under his house.
Rams Horn.
Most creatures are entirely harmless
when they are asleep. But the moth
does the most mischief when it is taking
a nap.-Siftiugs.
"What am looking for" said Big
gins just after he had rented a telephone,
sis the man who said that teik is cheap"
Washington Star.
He (painting)-''If you were /, Miss
Maud, 1 wonder how you'd treat this
subject?" She (posing)-"Oysters."- =
Kate Fields Washington.
"It is an odd thing" mused Indigest.
icus, ''that the same food winch makes
the brain so stupid by day, keeps it so
ferociously active at night. Puck.
The PROFESSIONALISM, Miss IRIS, it's
very pretty, but it's not the least like
the model. Pm afraid you've painted
the eyes out of your own head. Punch.
Oh, from that swell deliver us
or whom it may be said
The sweetness is most noted in
The region of the heal.
wv ashington STAR
"Maggie," called Mulligan to his ac-
comphshed daughter. "What do you
wanta' 'Is the pianny bruk or are you
playin' classical musica'-Washington
Star.
s.But why do you always hear them
called etchingsa" Father-"Um-sr-
we'll, suppose because it takes such
hard scratching to pay for them. Inter
Ocean.
"The early bird gets the worm,"
mused the big fowl. "Ill just hang
round in leIsurely way till he does, and
then I'll take it away from him. Wash
ington Star.
son the Verge of the Unknown" is
the title of an editorial IN recent issue
of the Fort Worth Gazette. So they
have hash in Texas too, do theys-
Chicago Mail.
Mother Ito her child, who has just
had some sweets given her by the man
opposlte) do you say to the
gentleman, Mabel2" Mabel-"Have you
got any more, pleases"-Judy.
Diner-'.Waiter, l find / have just
money to pay for the dinner; but it
nothing in the way of a tip for yourself"
Waiter-'Let me add up the check
again, sir."-New York Herald.
Tommy Sisters beau kicked
my dog yesterday, but got even with
him, you bet." Johnny Briggs-"Howa"
Tommy Figg-"I mixed quinine with
her face-powder. Indianapolis Sen.
tinel.
While Mr.. Donovan was watching an
engine that was engaged in backing the
other day he was heard to remark,
"Faith, that's the most roundabout way
of goin' forrard Oh liver saw."-Wash-
ington Star.
Caller-sSo you mean to be an NJ. P.
when you grow big, Tommy?" Politi-
clans Youngest-"Yes; like pa" Caller
-"Then you've made up your mind to
do great deal of talkinga" Politicians
Youngster Yes; like ma."-Funny
Folk.
Yabsley-"I tell you, when | see one
of these hard working, patient school
ma ans feel like taking off my hat to
her in reverence" Mudge-ssI tried
that once and her brother kicked me
clear across the street. indianapolis
Journal.
Miss c. met beggar in the street
and was moved to help him. t'Here's
my card," she said. elf you'll call at
my house, I'll give you some clothes"
He failed to put in an appearance; but a
day or two later she CHANGED to see him
again and asked: .Why didn't you
call3" "Indade, mum, but your card do
say 'Thursdaysr "--Brooklyn Life