davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Value of the the Thames.

In connection with the value of
the River Thames to the mercantile
interests of the English metropolis
good story is related of James l. and
the Lord Mayor OF London. James,
as was often the case during his
reign, was upon certain occasion in
great need of money, and he applied
to the corporation of London for the
loan Of 920, 900. This gentle request
the corporation refused, and the
King, in high dudgeon. sent for the
Lord Mayor and the Chief OF the Al.
dermen, and having scolded them
severely for what he termed their
disloyalty, he insisted upon their
raising the money for him.
'.Please your majesty" said the
Mayor, I'VE cannot give you what we
haven't got"
You must get it," declared the
King.
"We cannot" said the Mayor.
II will compel you" cried James,
with a stamp of his foot.
"But your majesty cannot compel
US to do that which is beyond our
power" retorted the Mayor.
"NOw exclaimed the King, an.
grily. ''Then I'll ruin your city for
ever; I'll make a desert of Westmin-
ster; I'll remove my whole court
law. Parliament and ALTO York,
and then, what will you do?"
"Please your majesty" replied the
Lord Mayor with submissive bow,
you will remove your courts and
yourself whenever you please, but
there is still left one consolation for
US poor merchants of London-you
cannot take the Thames along with
you."
James did not remove his courts.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

room, if you use your broom Judi
ciously, will be gathered into the pa
pers On mating use larger pieces
Of paper, pushing them about ahead
OF the broom, to take up your fluff, if
any, before beginning the regular
sweeping. After a velvet or other
heavy pile carpet is thoroughly swept.
a sponging with ammonia and water
will preserve its brightness wonder
fully About once a month, after
sweeping, taking pailful of warm
water, adding thereto a tablespoon
full of ammonia or turpcntine. Two
spoonfuls of the latter will do good,
it being a preventive against moths
Go over the whole carpet with large
soft cloth or sponge wrung so as not
to drip Doubtless you will be sur
prised at the rapid discoloration OF
the water. II the carpet be large
and much soiled or dusty the water
should be changed once or twice.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

We eat every year In this country
about five and half millions of oys-
ters-raw, stewed. fried. roasted.
picked, scalloped and In q pate. But
Us a single oyster may contain at one
time over eight hundred thousand
.mbryo oysters, there need be no fear
of a famine in this delicious food.
provided proper provision is made for
it's culture. Oysters are wholesome
because they are easily digestible,
and please the taste without exciting
20 surfeit. Professor William
Mathews, in his essay on Oysters"
1uotes Brillat-Saverin, the master of
French cooks, to show that 1t is not
Easy TO tell where safety begins in
OYSTER eating:
ssThe despair Of my life is that 1
ian never get my ill OF oysters. "said
A friend Come and dine with me
aud you shall have your fill, " replied
5avarin. The friend, one NJ. Laperte.
came, and for one hour devoted HIM
elf to eating oysters. When he had
swallowed thirty-One dozen, and was
proceeding to eat the thirty second,
the host rang for the SOUP saying,
mot to-day, my friend, will destiny
allow you to eat your ILL.," M. La
perte did ample justice to the dinner
which followed.
But the Frenchman was excelled
by the gluttonous Vitellius. who is
reported to have eaten a thousand
oysters at sitting.
HE was very valiant man who
first ventured on eating of oysters"
King James was wont to declare-a
sentiment echoed by the poet Gay:
The man had such palate covered DER
With brass or steel, thaton the rocky shore
And RI ked the living mOrsel down his throat.
The Romans were as fond of oys-
tiers as Americans are, and were de
vided in opinion about the luscious
ness of the produce OF different beds.
Juvenal, in his Fourth Satire, says
hat a gourmet of Rome, fiat
paunched Montanus, could tell at
lhe first bite from what coast an Oys-
ter had been taken.
Whether oysters were bred at Circ@i Or
Rutupian bottom,
do KNOW We'll W O1SCONoK NJ tuo u1SU
Oysters once played an ius.,urtant
part in English history. One Of the
objections of George l. to the throne
Of England was that he could not
find in all England oysters to his lik-
ing. He erumbled at their queer
caste and want of flavor, and threat.
cned to return to Hanover. AS the
departure of the King might lead to
the return of the Stuarts. his minis
ters devoted themselves to finding
out which sort Of oysters the mon
arch liked. On discovering that he
was fond of stale oysters. no time
was lost in procuring some with
good strong rankness about them.
The King smackcd his lips and con-
sented to remain on the throne.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
! Durable Substitute for Glass

A late invention gives us a curious
substitute for glass for windows and
like places. A network of wires laid
about twelfth of an inch apart, and
crossing each other at right angles, is
dipped into a specially prepared
transparent varnish. Wien dry the
result is a translucent sheet of vel
low, which makes an excellent sub
stitute for stained glass The effect
is that of yellow glass crossed with
network of fine lines.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
cuResToNE SYNDICATE.
A Profitable Ente fpise Developed ON Busa-
mess Principles.

A Profitable Ente rpise Developed ON Busi-
ness Principles.
It is so seldom that people get the
credit OF better motives than tney
possess that the following incident
seems worthy of notice:
II was walking partially deserted
cross-street of New York. when 1T be-
came apparent to me that my shoes
were very dusty. A boOtblack was
strol!ing leisurely along on the other
side of the street. his hands In his
pockets, his rude box OF tools dan
Cling carelessly from his back There
was nothing about the boy that would
distinguish him from others in his
profession. There was the SLOUGH
hat several sizes too large for his
head; ragged pantal00ns fastened by
a single string srspender, trailed on
the ground behind his dirty bare feet
He wore no coat. and his thin arms
emerged from his calico shirt clear to
the elbows. There was, too the
same ever-saddening, old, hard look
on the boyish features-the look so
characteristic of all street-educated
boys. There was something in the
reluctance with which this boy Obeyed
my summons, however. that was very
peculiar indeed. Never before had I
seen boy move so slowly toward the
coveted dime, especially when an
other bootblack was within hailing
distance.
Don't you want the job?" asked
him, rather sharply, as he shambled
slowly toward me.
".PIease SIR he replied, with
downcast eyes, would you give it to
that other Teller down there?' He
pointed with his thumb to similarly
equipped urchin a block away. I've
had six shines this mornin', and he
hain't had none.'
WAS it possible that l had found
SO generous nature in the very
slums CT the city. Almost instinct
lively my hand went into my pocket
and left shining quarter in the
hand of the grinning boy, as l made
my way to the object OF his pity.
''The second boy was ready for the
job.
"Meanwhile my generous friend
had pocketed his quarter aud leisurely
recrossing the street, comfortably
seated himself where he could con-
template his companion at work.
"'Who is that boy over there?' I
asked OF the one on my boots.
ooh, he's my divvie. he replied
without looking up
".Your divvie?' l was not versed
in street slang.
"Yes; me and him runs this street
together, and divvie up the cash. -
Harper's Bazaar.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

The house itself may be a valuable
adjunct IN the Entertainment of ones
friends, or kill-joy whose influence
it is hard to overcome, writes Mrs.
Burton Kingsland in delightful ar
ticle on "Entertaining Friends in
the Country in the Ladies' Home
Journal. II possible, let US do away
with company rooms" and make
our friends welcome in those made
hOmelike by our daily presence and
that of our families Nothing but
living in it will take the stiffness out
of room. The ideal room for the
entertainment of friends in n coun-
try house is a large, cheerful ''sit.
ting-room," that shall he library,
music and drawing room in one-the
heart and soul Of the house. Here
should be collected all that we care
most to have about us-souvenirs of
travel. favorite pictures. photographs,
low bookcases containing readable
books, luxurious divans with bright
hued pillows, and every chair made
for comfort A piano standing across
one corner. SO that the player face
the room may be draped with gay
stuffs and made a "thing of beauty"
The addition of tall lamp with gor-
geOus shade near by. and a fine palm
or two makes ''cozy corner" that
would prove alluring.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A Giove-Maker's Hint.

II would say to the ladies who per.
sist in wearing kid gloves in hot
weather, do not, every time you take
them of, make yourself red in the
face by blowing into them. The air
thus admitted Goes to be sure, dry
them, and they are not a hopelessly
shrunken mass Of kid when you next
attempt to wear them. But there is
a less Objectionable way to obtain the
same result. Pull them of by the
wrists, turning them inside out Let
them air few minutes thoN turn
them and put them away-not folded
in a wad, but stretched at full length
in long glove box. You will find
the result fully as satisfactory and
the remedy much easier Of applica
tiOn.m
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
In Chicago

Mr.. West Monroc-These Eastern
people are awfully careless when eat
Ing. Mr.. Fort Wayne - How SO?
Mr.. West MOnroe-Just look at that
Eastern man!-how carelessly he
throws his napkin in his lap. He
doesn't appear to care whether he
gets his vest all full of soup or not.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A Point on Milliners' Folds.

"If you will give me your atten-
tion for about five minutes" said a
practical woman, II will give you an
idea that is worth knowing. The
present fancy for trimming of milli-
ners' folds is a very pretty one and
quite effective, but these folds are so
troublesome to make. that your dress.
maker will either persuade you into
using something else or, as in the
case of the friend OF mine, will put
the folds into the sewing
and stitch straight through them.
This Is all very well IL one likes them,
but the rounded fold strictly hand
made is much more effective and ar
tistic. TO make perfect fold. the
goods should be exactly on the bias
and the strips should be wide enough
SO as not to skimp the turned in
edges. For an ordinary tive-eighths
of an inch wide fold, strip of goods
about one and one-half inches wide is
required. Fold one edge over on the
wrong side, make this fold a little
less than half an inch wide, haste
this down with the utmost accuracy,
then fold the other edge over so that
the edge Of it will almost meet the
edge OF the first fold. The space be-
tween the two should be trifle over
an eighth of an inch wide. Basic
this with the utmost care as near the
cut edge as possible, taking care not
to draw or slide the goods; when the
basting is done, fold again and pre-
pare to sew the folds together. Select
a narrow, very thin whalebone and
run into the edge of the upper fold.
then turn this wrong side up, bend
the whalebone slightly over the FORE
finger Of the left hand, then with
rather fine stitches run line Of sew
ing just as near the left-hand edge of
the whalebone as may be without
running of. Keep sliding the whale
bone along the fold as the work pro.
crosses An expert can do FIVE yards
to one over the old rate, when it was
necessary to blind stitch with the
greatest care, and even then the
needle would 70 through and spoil
the symmetry of the work. BY q
little practice one can get so dexter
GUS in this that it would almost be
possible to run the folds down in the
dark. There are a good many of
these little points about present-day
dressmaking that do much to sim.
pity the task for the amateur and
expedite business for the profess
siOnaL New York Ledger.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Fond of Children.

The Mother-I want to buy a dog
for my little girl. Is that fierce look
ing animal of yours really fond of
children?-The Dog tancier-He is,
indeed, mum. He came near eating
two of my little ones yesterday
Detroit Free Press.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
The Latest Style.

Little Boy-What's all those women
here Tor? Little Girl-They've been
upstairs to see the baby. Little
Boy-Baties is plenty 'nough. Little
Girl-Yes; but this is a real new one
an l guess they wants to see the
style. -Guod News,
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A New Invention.

' "What kind of a clock is that Jaw
kins? 1t doesn't seem to be right
''Sh-sh-! It's called the Married
Mans Delight my boy. The hands
stop at 10 o'clock every evening, but
the ticking goes on as loud as ever.
See?"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A Valuable Error.

Cholly Why, wheah ah youah dia.
monds and watch gone? Chappie
(beamingly)-Oh, I met bunco man
this mawnirg and he took me fob an
Englishman, just ovah. y know, so
let the deah fellow cheat me out of
ev'wything. Puck.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

Whipper-So Miss Grace Will
oughby is in mourning. eh? Idon't
suppose she'll appear at any fashion
able watering place this year. Snap
perl suppose nOt-she's so horribly
consistent that she'll probably 60 to
the Black Forest.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Her Reference.

Lady examining written character
of applicant for situation as cook
But this is not at all satisfactory as
to your cooking capacity. Can you
cook? Cook-Well. ma'am, if that
paper don't satisfy you on that point
ask my policeman. Tit Bits.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Her RellefA.

Maud-She is a woman who has
suffered great deal for her beliefs
Ethel--Dear me! What are her be-
liefs? Maud-She believes that she
can wear a No. shoe on No. 6 foot
and 23-inch corset on a 3O-inch
waist
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
AnsOld Proverb Proven.

Mrs. Hichurch (as she gazes out of
the window on rainy Sunday MORN
ing)-Yes; it's true. Providence does
temper the wind to the shorn lamb.
Mr.. Hichurch-What makes you say
SO? Mrs. Hichurch-WhY my new
bonnet didn't come home last night!
Puck.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
FellOw-Feeling.

Gotham Mann, Esq. And here's
quarter for you, waiter. H. Singer
OF Chicago-Thanks, but I can't &C
ept such a trifle. l have known
THAT 1t was to be poor myself.
Pockets n dollar complaccntly. y
Sew York Recorder.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A Crisis,

Landlord-Look here, Mr.. Roots.
you'll either have to move your
painless dentistry parlor" some-
where else or make your patients stop
hollering. The other tenants won't
stand it any longer!-Exchange.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
They Knew 1t.

Myrtylla-How can l be sure that
you really love me! Harry-By watch
ing this evening and noticing how all
the other girls want to flirt with me.
Truth,
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

An Equation.

Smythe-I hear you ara hSvips
delightful time in the suburus-uais-
ing vegetables and keeping chickens.
Tompkins-Not exactly. / simply
keep the chickens; they raise the
vegetables. Truth.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Determined to BE Married.

A Virginia maid jumped from a
window Of her Roanoke home
to join her lover and elope. She was
picked up with a broken leg, taken
to churchyard and patched up and
the wedding came of on time.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
LAUGH AND GROWFAT'
A HEALTHY TONIC FOR INvAL-
IDS OF ALL KINDS.

Humorous Anecdotes Cleaned from vari-
VIII: Mako Anybody Sleep Well-Better
Than Medicine When Taken Before Re-
firing.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
An Aid to Sweeping.

OR sweeping a
room neatly there
is nothing like
newspaper aid.
Take q page OF
new s pa er or
other paper at a
time, wet in hot
water. squeeze
until it ceases to
drip Tear into
pieces the size of
ones hand and
cast them all over
the carpet. Then
sweep. and most
Of the dust, in the
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
His Better Half.

Brown-SO Tillipy is dead? Jones
Yes; he died at 5 o'clock this morn
ing. BrOwn-What were his last
words? Jones-He didn't have any.
His wife Was there. -Detroit Free
Press
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

Really fine linen handkerchiefs are
so expensive that nowadays many wo-
men make those that are their best
for all except evening dress them
selves. They are made from little
squares Of fine linen lawn, with a
hem about a third of an inch wide,
finished with hemstitching. They
are embroidered with a small and not
very ornate initial in one corner
The initial is either worked solidly OF
outlined and filed in with dots or
fancy stitching. A favorite decora-
tiOn is of conventional fieur-de-lys,
one or number in each corner.
Where lace is added it is of real Val.
enciennes the width of the hem.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

"FOr the luv av Hivven, Mary Ann.
phwat are yez doin'?" whist Moike.
Its manicurin' me nails l am"
"Oho! Whin yc finish thot hand, We
can manicure me bouts,s
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

School-boy-Did the teachers give
black marks for everything when you
went to school? Father tretrospect-
ively)-N-o, my son. We got red
marks News
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
No Alternative,

II wish you would get me q couple
Of packets Of cigarettes. said the con-
demned murderer to the jail warden.
Cant do it, "replied the officer. 1.-THE
law must be allowed to take its
course "-Exchange.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Evidently Not,

The man who sat out on the wood
pile and told funny stories, expe CT
ing the wood would split evidently
did not strike responsive chord. I"
YOnkerS Statesman.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

''And you think he loves you:" II
am afraid he does. l sung to him for
an hour and half last night and
when l stonped he asked me to 60
on. "-VOgue.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

Yabsley-Did you ever tackle any
of "thOse missing-word" contests?
Mudge-Yes. The missing word was
eyes" but l could not get her to say
it.-IndianapOlis Journal
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A House Warming.

After the guests had assembled
the mother, with a dignity that
made it a pretty ceremony, passed
from room to room. and with a
lighted taper illuminated the house
The master Of the house next lighted
the fires that were laid on various
hearths. and as the logs cracked and
blazed and light and warmth were
summoned to the home, all the
guests sang "Home, Sweet Home"
Later, when bread was broken in the
pretty dining room. the daughter of
the house, little maid OF four sum-
mers, lighted the lamp on the table.
and hospitality was added to the 9th.
er fires that make house a home
New York Evening Post
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Impossible to Tell.

Mrs. Observation-Disclosures, did the
butcher have sleeps tongue?
Bridget couldn't see, mum. He
didn't stick it out wanct. -Philadel-
phia Record.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

If the Russian Nihilists hear of
the terrible explosiveness of Western
banks they will want to send COM
mitUee oyer to buy few for their
own use. Better than bombs, you
know.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
A Good Scheme

Watts-ATe you going to make any
garden this year? Potts. think 1
shall. I had garden last year that
kept me supplied with chickens clear
up till frost. Journal
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Something for Nothin.

Mr.. Fligg--You should remember,
my son, that there is nothing at
tanned without labor. You need not
expect to get something for nothing.
TOMMY get lots of lickin's for
nothin', anyhow.-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Decidedly.

Pipkin-Do you think there is any
thing unlucky about the number
thirteen? Potts-I know there is. l
paid that for a suit of clothes once
and they did not wear we'll at all
Truth.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
Belonged to Both.

''How is it you write for both the
Bazoo and the Weekly Hoodoo. when
they quarrel so abominably:" "Oh,
l have charge of the quarrel in both
PAPERS"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

Waiter-Scusc me, boss, but dis
table is resarvcd fur ladies. Take
yo' hat of, too, sab, ii yo' please.
Puck,
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
His Crying Want.

Young Gotnix (sadly)-l saw a sign
in a window down the street that ex-
actly described my condition. links
What was it? "Cash girl wanted. 1"
-Waif.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

''How much is twice two, NelIie?"
olive" ooh, no." "Well, it would
be if you added one to it "-Exchange.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
NATIONS AND MAIDS.
FAIR WOMAN'S DOINGS AND
IDEAS.

An Idea About Millinery Folds That IL
Worth Knowing Care for the Nails-fIow
to Prevent Wrinkles-An Aid to Sweep
Ing, Etc.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

Farmer Ryestraw Ito tramp)-I
BpOse yer willin' to work? IndOlent
Ivers-Not much. l amt no canned
fruit.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06
College Expenses.

A comparison of the expenses of the
college girl at the leading colleges for
women shows the following: At
Mount HOlyOke the cost in round
numbers for board and tuition, with
out extras and incidentals, is 5000 a
year; at the Woman's College in Bal
timore, $500; at Wellesley, $3.50; at
Smiths, $3.50; at Vassar, $4OO; and
at Bryn-Mawr, $475. To this outlay
the student has in addition the ex-
ira expenses OF her toilet, travelling
expenses, for music and painting, for
attendance on certain extra lectures,
the fee for membership in college So
cieties, and usually a share of the
cost of class entertainments giving
during the year. These expenses
may be decided by the young woman
herself, as may also the cost of the
pretty extras for comfort or decora-
ti0n that she may add to her room.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-06

Cleanliness of the nails is very
important essential. II possible,
never use a nife-blade, but at the
toilet nail-brush and plenty of soap
and water should always be called
into service. Surgeons long ago
learned that deposits under the nails
were menace. and that through
them wounds we're easily poisoned.
This led to extreme care in the mat
ter of personal cleanliness on their
own part and on the part of all their
assistants. Before an operation is
performed all who touch the patient
or the instruments which are to be
used must first clean their hands
thoroughly with soap and water, be-
ing especially careful to have the
spaces under the nails absolutely
clean. After this the hands are put
into diSinfcctQnt solutions