The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1893-08-31
HUMOROUS.

A draft on Chicago - An Illinois
cyclone.
Gardner: What is the softest kind
of pear? Wardner: A bridal pair, ]
should say.
No, my son, the chief marshal is not
nine-tenths OF the procession, though
he thinks he is.
sssThey are the closest of friends"
eyes; / never knew one of them to
lend the other cent. y
Bagsy Tn maxim piles o. "dust."
now. Jagsy: Y'air? Wot are youse
workin' at? Bagsy: Beatin' carpets.
There are people in this world who
never attempt to reach the top of the
greatest pole of success, because they
can not ascend.in elevators.
Figg: Do you believe in second
marriage? Fogg: Yes, for women.
A widow is perennial danger to
society until she is married again.
| Though he knows his politeness she II scorn,
Butit'splain that in this way he's safer by far
If he doesn't she'll tread ON his corn.
Charley: so Jim you were extra
VACANT enough to pay $50 dozen for
your handkerchiefs. Don't You think
that was good deal OF money to blow
! in?
"What ever possessed Miss Sharpley
to marry that old Holdfast?" He
was her guardian, and she was bound
to get part OF the handsome fortune
left her"
The butcher (haughtily)-" Madam.
my reputation rests upon my meat.
Doubling customer" Well, if it's as
tough as that last steak you sent me l
feel sorry for you.
Mrs. Cumso-" wouldn't criticise
! the singer so severely if l were You.
He is doing his best" Mr.. Cumso--
"Oh, in that case it's all right; was
afraid he was doing his worst"
First Tramp: "Who wouldn't be a
pretty little flower. 1t stays in bed
all summer" Second Tramp" Yes;
but think of the water you would have
to take during that time. Ughl"
Mrs. Upercrust You go abroad
great deal lately, do you not Mrs.
Newmonie? Mrs Newmonie: La!
yes, my dear. Why, we're in Paris
so much lately that | call us reg'ler
Parasites
They were speaking of superstitions,
and Mrs Dix said, "What is it sign
of to have the family cat howl outside
at night?" ''Of death in the family
ii the man is good shot, replied Mr..
Dix emphatically.
A good -natured man who was run
to hear him shout 'Look out - "Phat
is the matter wild you'll" said the man
in disgust, "yer not coming back
again, are yep
This world would be a splendid place
And always fair and sunny.
If we could clip the wings of love,
Likewise the wings Of money.
Old Lady to Druggist / want a
box of canine pills. Druggist; What
is the matter with the dog? Old Lady
Indignantly; | want you to know,
sir, that my husband is n gentleman.
Druggist puts up some quinine pills in
profound silence
Husband" Do you know that every
time woman gets angry she adds a
new wrinkle to her face?" Wife
" No, / did not but ii il is so,
presume ii is n wise provision OF nature
to let the world know what sort of q
husband the woman has. T."
Jones aud his wife were wandering
among the cages in a menagerie. 81
say, Jones dear, what on earth has
that rsttlesnake tied himself up into
such an involved knot for?" Cant
say, darling, unless there's something
on bis mind that he wants to remem-
Der.
Mrs. Wickwire; Don't you think
you would make better success of life
il you We're to go to work." Weary
Watkins: /" dunno, Do you think
a man ought to woyk on sunday"
Certainly not, il he can avoid it. :"
well, every day is sunday to . man