Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-05-17
HOW CARL DUNDER CAUGHT ON.
AS Usual He Gets the Small End of the
Bargain.

AS Usual He Gets the Small End of the
Bargain.
"Wel1, 1 hope you haven't been swim
died again." remarked the fat police
sergeant as Carl Dunder entered the
station-house the other afternoon.
Sergeant vhas dere some hayseeds
on my coat collar?'' queried Mr. Dun
der in lively way. "Schwindied! I
guess not. If somebody looks me for a
spring chicken he vhas left"
'"Then you begin to catch on to the
customs of the country, do you?"
Il do. l vhas awfully discouraged
der last time [ vhas here, but now l
vhas all right. Nopody can fool me
again. Shust gaze on dot
He pulled out gold watch and chain
Rod handed them over with broad
grin on his face.
''Well?' queried the sergeant as he
briefly examined them and sighed heav-
lily.
''Four days ago." said Mr.. Dunder, 81
goes down to Toledo to see my brudder-
in-law. On the train a young man
comes to me und says vhas [ Carl Dun
der? vhas. Dot pleased him, because
he reads of me in der papers, und he
knows how big-hearted [ vhas. He likes
to raise money to buy some grave stones
for his dear mother, und he Will sell
me dot watch for two hundred dollars -
Great Scots! but you didn't pay him
no such price?"
Sergeant, do you see some green
grass in my eye?" chuckled Mr. Dunder
81 may be leedle slow, but vhas no
corntield. [ say to dot young man dot
/ doan' care if he has lost six mothers.
Will gif him seventy-fve dollars und
not one cent more. He feels mighty
bad, but he is obliged to sell it to me.
How vhas dot, sergeant-a two hundred
dollar watch for seventy-fve dollars
Don't catch on, eh?''
The sergeant looked very serious and
did not reply, and Mr.. Dunder con
tinued
"a stranger comes in my place der
udder day md says his wife und shil-
dren vhas all burned oop in a fire in
Buffalo. He wants to go oudt by der
first train, und it Will be a great favor
to him if 1 cash check for thirty dol
lars
But you didn't do it?''
Sergeant, do 1 look like some cat
nip?" demanded Mr.. Dunder as he
stepped back and Strengthened up. Il
feels sorry for dot man, of course, but [
shust tell him dot L gif him fifteen dol
lars und no more. If he doan't like dot
he can go AWAY. He takes me oop.
Here is the check. [ save shust fifteen
dollars on dot DEAL
The sergeant looked at the check,
which was signed John Smith, and in
a sorrowful voice he asked Mr.. Dunder
if he had anything else to relate.
''Vhell, do a leedle peesness yester-
day dot | like to shpeak aboudt A
man comes in my place und says vhas L
Carl Dunder? l vhas. All right. He
like to see me quicker dan der presi-
dent. He reads of me in der papers,
und he knows l vhas a sharp, shrewd
man. He likes me to go into peesness
nit him"
''What sort of business?"
''Vhell it vhas a new kind of fly
screen. 1t vhas d fy-screen NIT hole
in der center about as big as a dollar.
He vhas der inventor. Nobody ever in
vents dot idea BEFORE und he sells me a
half interest for feefty dollar. 1t vhas
worth one tousand, but he likes my
name for influence, see?'
''What is the hole left for?''
''Vhell, some flies go in by der door,
maybe, und dot vhas to let him go oudt
by der window. Dot vhas good idea,
eh? I close dot bargain at feefty dollar,
und belief [ make ten tousand What
vhas der matter, Sergeant?" Why you
look at me like dot?"
The sergeant handed him watch and
check, and taking him by the arm led
him to the door and put him out and
said:
''Mr. Dunder, am sorry for you.
You are too incocent for this world.
Goodbye"
Mr.. Dunder turned at the curbstone
and stood and looked long at the sta
tion-house door. By and by a smile
crept over his face, his chin went up
foot higher, and he called out as he
walked stiffiy away:
''It vhas all right, Sergeant! I see
how she vhas. You vas shealous of me
dot I don't get shwindled some more,
und dot dere COWS dot take me for
some grass any longer! Ha! vhas on
to you like big house, und don't ask
you no more if I buy an electric clothes
line fur ten dollar und save all der rub
bing und half der soap.'-M. Quad, in
n. Y World.