The morning call., 1893-05-07
THE LADIES KISS.
War Is All Over at the
Women's Union.
EXPERTS TALKED TO DEATH.
internecine Strife Of Many Months
Is Happny Ended = All About
Arithmetic and Vouchers.

That admirable Institution the Women's
Educational and Industrial Union is seeth-
ing with excitement.
Not that anything new has transplred.
The charitable ladies OF the union are too
busly occupied in settling old matters to
bother themselves with present affai
So they bubble and seethe like the waves
of storm-tossed sea, and 1t is all about
penmanship, arithmetic. bad memory and,
last but by no means least, who have told
mean stories about whom?
No actual dishonesty is charged. The
philanthrOpic ladies who are engaged in the
herculean labor of bettering the Industrial
condition OF the poor of their sex are too
tender of each others feelings to inslnuate
anything so dreadful as embezzlement.
But the internecine war that these gen tie
combatants are waging is utterly without
parallel in the history OF even benevolent
societies, so fierce and so furious the fray.
Last year the old administration went out
and new one came in. The relations of
the old administration to the new were any
thing but pleasant.
The old charged that a member Of the
new, who had been q member OF the old,
had been careless enough TO pay a bill
twice. The amount was small, and no one
thonght Of questioning the honesty of the
member.
But the member thought she understood
arithmetic as we'll as any charitable lady in
San Francisco, and would not admit that she
had made any mistake
So when the new administration began to
tell the shnpeirls and factory girls and
seamstresses and milliners, and all the other
mem bers Of the union who periodically as
sembls In its rooms for the purpose OF being
educationally and industrially uplifted,
that the old administration had ''just
botched things horribly and mismanaged
the affairs of the union frightfully and
spent money extravagantly," the old ad-
! minlstratIon became indignant, appeared at
one of the subsequent meetings and said
that their accounts had been properly
audited and approved and themselves hon.
orably discharged from their duties.
They said that it looked very much as
though the lady of original arithmetic above
men toned, had created the disturbance
simply for the purpose of hiding what they
said was her innocent blunder under cover
OF the cloud of dust thus raised, and this
the lady Indignantly denied.
But the new administration went right on
talking about the mlsman cement OF the
old aud the old administration and par
ticularly tho chairman of the old domestic
training committee struck tragic attitudes
and would not stand It,
So they called in experts to examine the
old accounts, and vlndicate their reputa-
tions as expert bookkeepers.
That was several months ago. The meet
mostly about nothing at all, but the ladies
were in earnest almost TO the extent of hair
pulling Pandem0num reigned.
The experts put cotton in their ears to
imagine themselves alone in their down.
town offices and plunged Int the accounts
They said that everything was o. K.
But the ladies did not intend to have their
fun spoiled so easily. The new administra--
tion didn't like 1t at all. They put their heads
together and announced that the old do
mestic training committed had not brought
| its vouchers, and that therefore the expcn-
ditures mentioned in its accounts were not
properly proved.
The old committee replied that the ac-
| counts had, months and months ago, been
audited by the committee having that duty
| in charge, and after which it was no longer
| necessary to keep the vouchers The deaf
| ened experts reported in accordance with
| the facts.
The chairman of the domestic training
! committee happened fortunately to find the
bundle of vouchers corresponding to the
| questioned accounts and handed them to
the experts, who accordingly modified their
| report to the extent of inserting the 81 ate
ment that the vouchers had appeared and
| the item might now be checked off
The experts did not bring In tile report.
| They sent it In. They did not like to ap-
pear. They had lost buttons innumerable
| ana tnelr nearing was almost goue. 80 they
| sent the report TO the secretary and 1t was
read at the next meeting, which happened
| TO be a regular quarterly meeting.
| Nothing would satisfy these belligerent
| phlanthropists but that more experts should
be entlced in for the purpose Of checking
of the vouchers. and for that purpose the
clan assembled yesterday afternoon.
The ladies opened proceedings by an inter-
change of those delicate little compliments
| which ladies know so well how TO give and
then the expert, who happened to be a
young man Of great patience and consid-
| erable knowledge of arithmetic and law,
was placed before few stacks OF papers
and books and told TO go right ahead.
He Tailed the expenditures; ne tailed
the vouchers. The warm spring sunshine
crept across the carpet aud lit up the wall
! Five o'clock came and the west was all
glow with crimson light but still the
| aoung expert toiled on.
A propinquity Of four solid hours had