Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1893-05-18
JEREMIAH BOLTON.
Two Opinions Of Him as Expressed
by Hiram Stiggins.

lage by the name of Bolton, Jeremiah
Bolton?" asked the stranger of Hiram
Stiggins, who was sitting on the top rail
of the fence.
''He doesn't live here" said Hiram,
a good deal of emphasis on the word.
~ have aletter from him and he gave
this place as his address,"
''Oh, it's his address all right enough.
We don't call Jerry's existence living,
You know. He vegetables. And If you
want to collect any money from him
let me give you q pointer or two that'll
save you some trouble. You just go
back where you came from and wait
till Jerry sends it. You'll get the cash
just as quick that way as by bothering
him about it. Jerry's the allfiredest
loafer in the hull country, and that's
saying good deal, for know most of
the folks in the neighborhood. I've
lived here myself goin' on twenty four
year. Some of 'em are splecny enough.
and these times man has to be up and
dom eff he wants to pay his debts, let
alone gittin' credit for maxim more.
Times amt what they used to be. I
remember nineteen year ago this spring
when -
''What is Mr.. Bottoms business? BE
Is a mechanic, isn't hep"
Jerry? He amt got no business
never had. tell him he's got no bust
ness to live. Beats me what such men
are made for in the first place. Natural
born loafer, Jerry is. Yes, sir. Work?
When you see Jerry Bolton tackle
honest work, you look out fer the judg-
ment day the week after. The world
will be comm to an end, sure. Why,
last harvest-I own this farm joinin'
the village-and men were mighty
source, come over to get Jerry to help
me with the hayin'-offered him good
pay-a man can get anything he likes
in haydn nowadays. 'Tain't like what
it used to be. Seems as eff the more ma
chinery we get on a farm the more
work there is to do. Labor savin', they
call them. Labor maxim is more like
it. remember sixteen year ago last
harvest that we"
Wouldn't Jerry work?"
"Not by long chalk. Needed the
money, too. His wife was dom the
washin' for the village to keep the chill
dren and Jerry alive, AS fer the rent,
they never thought O. payin' no rent. l
own the house he lives in and sup
pose Jerry thought I would take it out
in rent eff he came to work. Still,
that's fatterln' Jerry. He hain't sense
enough to be afraid I'd apply his wages
on his rent. Hes just good for nuthin'.
He's tinkerer, Jerry is. Allus work.
in at some new tangled thing that amt
no good to any livin' creature. Jack of
all trades and good at none. tell him.
Trusts providence and his wife mostly.
Jerry would have starved long ago if it
wasn't for that woman She's sight
too good for him. But she's just as big
fool as Jerry, for she believes he'll do
somethin' some day. She's the only
one creature on earth that does,
but that don't make no differ
ence to her. She's faded. washed
out creature, and the only time
she flares up is when some one tells the
truth about Jerry and she hears it.
Jest like woman, you know. There's
no accountin' fur 'em. Many woman
with a good, hardworkin' husband
don't appreciate him. There's my wife,
fur instance"
"Whatdoes he tinker at, principally?"
"Who? Jerry? Oh, Lord knows. Some
fool thing or 'nuther. Deacon Swipes
says it's perpetual motion, but tell the
deacon there's no motion, perpetual or
otherwise, about Jerry. Perpetual dunn
foolishness, I call it. Tryin' to get a
living by the sweat Of somebody else's
brow. tell 'em down in the village
that Jerry's smarter man than any of
US cause he can live without work and
we can't. Time was in this country
that man had to work or starve
Things amt what they used to be with
the young folks all wantin to clerk in
the city. remember twenty-one years
ago when"
"Then how does he manage to live?'
II tell you he don't live; he vege-
tates, and on my vegetables, too,
mostly. Only the other day Miss Boil
ton she come to our place with basket
and said she wanted to borrow a
basket of potatoes. I says to her:
Miss Bolton, you can't borrow nothin'.
I'll give you q basket of potatoes, if
you go out and dig 'em. But I'm no
such a dunn fool as to lend anythin' to
the B olton family Then she up and
cries, and my wife she says: Well, that's
neither here nor there Some women
don't know when they're well off, and
other women can't bear to hear the
truth. l went down to Jerry's and
give him apiece of my mind. Had to
do it to somebody or bust, for my wife's
a plain-spoken woman, and then man
shouldn't be tyrant in his own fam
lily. Well, Jerry he jest looks at me
an says nothin'. I believe the mans
crazy. He didn't seem to hear q word
said, but jest looked past person as
if some one had hit him with club.
He'll go to a insane hospital yet, and be
kept at the county's expense his fam.
lily, too. Hanged Of I can see the sense
of lettin' q man like that have fam
ilY. remember years ago when-yes,
the first house you come to, right on the
edge of the village. No, it amt much of q
house; more Of a shanty, as you say, but
it's mighty sight bigger'n any rent !
ever get fur It. Good-by, stranger
TEN YEARS LATER.
Hiram holds forth to q crowd OF
listeners on the veranda of the village
/ tavern