Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-08-21
Let Us An Lau1h.

WuAN4 VI UuC opplCS Will Uc WOruy.-
Texas Siftings.
The farmers way of heading off
the enemies of the orchard-spray
without ceasing. -Lowell Courier.
IT ought to give promise Of rest to
standing army to be ordered to the
seat of war.-Yonkers Statesman.
No, MY son. the chief marshal is
not nine-tenths of the procession,
although he thinks he is.-Chester
News.
THERE is a tied in the affairs of
men which, il taken at the knot,
leads to strangulation. -Thomasville
Times.
ANYTHING that would be consid-
cred rude at home is considered a
huge joke at a picnic. - Atchison
Globe.
"WHAT tools shall I use?" said the
subway laborer to his foreman. "Oh,"
take your pick" was the easy reply.
-Waif.
AFTER THE HONEYMOON. - She
(sweetly) - What would be living
without me? He (gloomily)-Cheap-
er.-Tid-B Bits.
WHY express surprise that a young
man should get giddy when pretty
| girl violently turns his head.-Phila-
delphia Times.
THE mathematical feat of taking
one from one and leaving two still
continues-in divorce courts. -Glens
Falls Republican.
Our idea Of Christian is a man
who doesn't laugh when it rains on a
| picnic party to which he was. not in
vited.-Atchison Globe.
1T is said that EImira Female Col
lege has no yell. We would suggest:
"Myra, Ella Myra, Elmira, Sarah,
'Rah, 'Rah!"-Utica Herald.
"YEs, we sent Archie out West to
| grow up with the country" And
did hep" mo: he went up with it,
Kate Fields Washington.
WHATS the name of your new
boat?" Il named it Bridget, after
the cook, because it makes such
heavy rolls. journal of Education
"FALsEE sings be autifully, but they
tell me he can't tell the truth"
That's right. He's the most tune
full Tyre in the State. Detroit Free
Press.
THE hammock doesn't look unlike
a fishing net. Hence its suitability,
4 in way, for nice perch and an
occasional founder - Philadelphia
Times.
AN awful responsibility rests upon
the man who has definitely made up
his mind at last that it is time for
him to paint his house.
Journal.
Il WOULD like" said the young
man, ito leave little poem with
YOU" "All right" said the editor,
they usually get left. Atlanta Con-
stitution.
UPsTREET-"Hullo! didn't know
you were bicyclist. How long have
you been riding?" B. Ginner-
"'Bout two weeks, off and on. Buff
falo Courier.
II WAS careless at church and put
81 in the box when intended to give
only dime" "a case Of contrtbu-
tory negligence, so to speak. De
troit Tribune.
their religion with business, but for
|
business invariably rises to the top
Texas Siftings.
SHE--"How many times have you
been in love before you met me?" He
-"Once. She-"And why didn't
you marry herr" He-"She was mar
ried eady."-Judge.
BUGGINs-"What did you do when
you found you had no money, after
ordering large bottle?" Muggins-
"Oh, was terribly put out about it,
philadelphia Record.
"BRIGGs was feeling pretty gay
when he went to the club last night.
How did he make out?" "He didn't
make out at all, they had to put him
out. Detroit Free Press
CLARA--"Why are you SO bitter
against him, just because he pro-
posed and you refused him?" Maude
1.-THE wretch! He said he would
never ask me again. Vogue.
ANNE-Do you know, Mabel, 1 had
two offers of marriage last week? Ma
bel-My darling Anne! l am so de-
lighted! Then it is really true that
your uncle left you all his money!
Judy
WERE you introduced to the Count
last night, Marie?" Eyes, we talked
together for an hour" what did
you talk about?" Il haven't the re-
hottest idea. We spoke French.
Harper's Bazaar.
SHE lin Wagner car)-How smooth
ly and silently these cars move along!
He-Yes. Isn't it queer that a man
who can make such quiet cars as these
should write such noisy music?-
New York Weekly.
THEY were speaking of supersti-
fiOnS and Mira niv said UWho% 4,