The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-10
"BAB" ON DUDES.
The Modern FOp When Set Up For
DraWilg-TOOm Exhibition.


The Dandy Considers ideas Vulgar
and Hates Honest work-rhe Mice
Young MAN. on His Travels-The
Horsey Youth--when Will This
AbominabIe Race of Dudes Die Out,
Anyhow P--Do Fops Ever Think
Doctors Should Chloroform Dudes at
Birth, Says Bah.
New York, Dec. 9.-He is not a dude
There Is always chance for the dnde.
1here is possibility of his growing and
getting over his fads as children get
over their first teeth
And puppies, too.
For him there is absolutely no hope.
nave devoted many precious hours to
studying him, and if I could be brought
to believe there was no future, 1 should
think he would be in It. That sounds a
nttie mixed. But what mean to say is
that II the future is a vacuum, and he is
entirely vacuous, the nO;hingness of them
would combine That word dOsnit come
from Huxley or from any one of those
people who say all the future is nothing
ana nobody; it is straight from Bah. The
he of whom I am talking is the something
who IS referred to as the Young Man"
Ihey are very right to put the adjective
before the man, because ne never grows
old. don't mean that he is like some of
the beautiful, delicious elderly gentle
men who are young in heart forever: oh,
dear, no! The Young Man, when he was
equipped for the battle of life, had left
out Of his general makeup both heart
ana brains. In the place of a heart
he took a caprice; in the place of
Drains ne chose cunning. You can
see him at most any of the
places where the so-called fashionable
set are on exhibition. He is al
was understood, and he makes up for his
lack of muscle by the quantity of clothes
ne wears. His frock coat reaches nearly
to his ankles and is as full as q woman's
pettlcoat: his scarf has pin in it bigger
than that worn by any other man-why
did l seem TO insinuate that he was a
mainland his tie is tied so noticeably
that you are made painfully aware of the
fact that he scorns the ready-made ones.
His hat is the latest shape his gloves the
perfection of fit, and his boots, while per-
fectly polished, do not draw attention to
their brilliancy.
The Young Man loves to consider him
self conservative;
he NEVER Rad AN IDEA IN HIS LIFE,
In fact, he thinks they are vulgar The
dude, peace be to his ashes chased around
town after chorus girls, adored getting in
the newspapers, and once in while sur
prlSed some tough by mis- ability to knock
him out, but frequently married and set
tied down TO become a very respectable
husband, man of business. and, once in a
while, father. The Young Man never
reaches this state. He thinks it is not
nice to get yourself so excited. He thinks
that "a really nice young man wouldn't
get himself mixed up with girls who
were not quite nice. Instead of
knowing, don't you know, really
nice girls who were quite nice and
never got young man into any of those
ridiculous states" He thinks it is nice
to be young man, and he thinks it is
nice to know fashionable people He
thinks it is nice to be seen at all the
proper places, and that any young man
who isn't there is quite the sort of young
man whom you wouldn't want to intro
duce to your sister, because, though he
might be an awfully clever fellow, with
no end of brains, still his niceuess would
always be matter Of doubt.
The first year he went abroad he saw
the Premier Duke of England kAeeling on
the stone floor of a church and saying his
prayers, and he told his confidant. a very
nice Young Man, Really, deah boy, he
seemed very much more interested in the
service than in seeing what class of peo-
pie were there. Now, could he have been
quite nice" Probably he would have
been surprised if he had known that
kneeling next to the Duke of Norfolk was
perhaps a chambermaid, perhaps some
poor soul whose sins were as scarlet. but
the Young Man of to-day cannot under
stand a church where the rich and
poor are treated alike. A number
of things surprised him in Eng
land. He found that most of the men
liked out-of-door sports, and that the
most popular Americans were those who
were thoroughly American, and who
didn't attempt to hide a down-east or
=fe,rsr, I.rva 4-1,
he found no people like himself, except
here and there a Young Man who was
chaperoned by his grandmother, and of
whom the women said, though they got
him to hold their worsted and run their
errands: HE is nice Young Man, and
one can't help feeling sorry for him."
And then, queerly enough, they would
tap their fingers on their foreheads.
When our Young Man came back he said
England was rude and gross.
FOOLS AT HORSE SHOWS.
/ never saw him at his best, or worst
until at the horse show this year. It
was almost as good as seeing that IA
nous baboon at the park. On the first
day he tried to talh nGE'sa. and got all
mixed; for some girl laughed in his face
when he talked about litter Of ponies,
The second day he confined himself to
criticiztnS the men, and one girl who
had considerable sense, gave him repri-
mand that even he could understand
Talking about a splendid fellow who had
lost all the money he inherited, and who
had the moral courage to go to work, the
young man said: II assure you, Miss
We're de We're, l was not surprised at his
losing his fortunel / have seen him
wear a made tie!" Miss We're de We're
put her gold-rimmed monocle in one eye,
gazed at the young man, and said: II
never heard before that such things ex-
isted.n The third day, the Young Man
came to the conclusion that the horse
show wasn't nice; that rough people
We're there, and that the horses them
what difference did it make whether
horse had mother or not. And so, he
went to see some women. VINO weren't at
the show, and they petted him and made
much of him. just as they do of fluffy dogs,
and expecting nothing from him, weren't