St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-08-20
CAMP STORIES.

H'oob CuthuSidSdc camper. Illere are
doubtless pleasanter positions than be-
ing shut up in tent all day, with the
rain trlckling through the holes that the
girls have made by sticking pins in the
canvass. You can talk, explain or
lecture until you are tired, but your
female friends will continue to use your
tent sides for pincushions. The thun-
der roars and the rain pours; the
camp fire goes out with sizzle, then the
hammock is blown away and the
small cooking tent is undermined
All you can do is to wrap bedspread
around your slowly drowning anatomy,
peek out from behind the tent flap and
watch your property go slowly sailing
by. Perhaps you can sleZe an extra oar
that has been used for decoration and
spear the gasoline can. the bacon or the
condensed milk before they are carried
into the lake. 1 wonder il all of the
camp equipments that are carried off
into the lakes in storms, finally find
their way into the ocean. If so, how
very embarrassing it will be when
we are steamlng across the ocean,
dressed in our SWEETEST clothes,
trying to look as if real
silver was hardly good enough for us to
handle. to have one of the sailors fish
name scratched across it. For fear of
such all accident, campers would be
wise to register fictitious names when
they cross the big water next fall. By
doing So you may risk being hung for
all anarchist or smuggler. but surely
such death would be preferable to
having the fact become known that you
ever ate off a common tin plate and
considered Yourself lucky to get that
instead of chip.
-
unfortunately tents are not supplied
with windows, and on a rainy day
thick black darkness holds sway inside
the canvas. Ii your tent is dry you
have one consolation left you-you can
perch around on the floor or tables anu
tell stories. a short time ago [ spent Il
rainy day i'll camp with jolly lot of
girls and boys, and heard some
thrilling tales. l will relate one
with which [ was greatly impressed.
L would not vouch for the
truth of this gruesome tale, had it not
been related by a religious youth. who
teaches Sunday school-when fishing is
poor. The others could not have been
aware of this leaning toward religion.
for am sorry to say that, after he had
whiled away the dreary afternoon in
such an Interesting manner, the males
of this ungrateful crowd called him q
''falstho0der." and, removing him to
the pier, unceremoniouSly duckcd him.
L put this uncalled-fOr performance
down TO pure. unauthorized jealousy
because they didn't know as good a tale.
-
Il have friend" began this Rider
Haggard No. 2, ''who has but one leg.
lie is very sensitive about the unayOid-
able absence OF his other iimb, aud only
his most Intimate associates know Of his
loss. He had invested in all sorts of
cork legs, wooden legs aud leather legs,
but all proved failures. Smith-this
was the aristocratic cognomem which
added to his other burdens - Smith
though he could invent a leg which
would discount real flesh and blood
leg as walking machine. His inVen
ton was a wooden leg with cIockwUrk
sort of machinery inside. which could
be wound up and then the leg would
walk of its own accord. The length of
the step could be regulated to match
the gait of any real leg, and it contained
a spring which when touched would i'm
mad pt at W OF 10
as desired. Tins leg was manufactured
completely to Sini tbs satisfaction, and
beautiful works put inside which would
run continuously Cor three days at a
moderate speed. The leg could not be
removed wheD in motion, but there was
always the spring to stop it, so Smith
felt no uneasiness. The leg was tri-
umphantly adjusted, and Smith sailed
j0yonsly forth 10 take the first really
comfortable walk he had known for
many months. L can beat any two
legged man IN tue country Walking lie
said, because | only have the exertiou
of working one leg
IS
He worked his own leg until he was
WI tilCu, tuCii "Ouiu
; go home. When he reached his deStina-
ton and touched the spring to stop the
works of his walking machine prepara-
tory to mounting the steps of his family
mansion, to his horror he found the
spring refused to work. He couldn't
mount steps with that leg, and as he
thought over the names of his intimate
friends, lie discovered f,ey all lived up
a few steps at least. He concluded he
would take walk around the block,
perhaps the spring would loosen then.
So around the block he went. and
around the block he continued to go,
but the spring held tight. This grew
monotonous, and, longing for new
scenery, he took n walk down
town and back again. He began to get
anxious. and tried to remember if he
had wound it up to the full three days
limit. He looked longingly up at The
lights in the windows as he passed his
residence for tito twenty-third time.
How he longed to get into the house
and take the blamed thing off. He
tried not to look hungry, but lie saw
starvation staring him i'll the face.
Then another misfortune Occurred-the
machinery changed its speed, began to
work faster, and he had to make his
own leg run TO keep up with it, What
a figure he must cut, running like mad
through the streets! He tried to throw
On an expression as if he had received
telegram that his mother-in-law was
dying, and he was running to catch a
trail that would take him to her bed
side, where he might dutifully receive
her last words. and read her will,
or make it over. He was so i'm
pressed with this idea that he felt
resentful when he found he could not
halt at the depot, but must fly right by
and think up new expression for his
classic features. He met his wife, but
could not stop to speak to her. He
tried to scream out his trouble as he
dashed by. but his gait was too rapid
On he sped; she chased him for block
or two, but soon became exhausted, and