davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-01-29

FIRST Methodist Episcopal church, on Third
South between the Knutsford hotel and Main
street. Rev. w. D. Maory pastor. sunday
school, s:45 q. M; preaching by the the pastor,
II q. m and 1880 m. Evening subject: Les
sons from the Life and Character of Rutherford
3. Hayes, " with prelude on James G.. Blaine
Epworth League meeting. 6:50 pm. Seats free;
eli invited.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-01-29

ENGLISH LUTHERAN CHURCH OF THE HOLY
TRINITY-Rev. James E. Beates, pastor. Ser
vice today at II q. N. and 7:30 D. m. in St
Marks hall at lis East First South street
Sunday school at l2:15 instead of 10 a. m. Pas
tors study at go East Third South street
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-01-29

CMITH & LLOYD, ATTORNEYS-AT-I,
- 5l4 Mccormick block, Salt Lake city
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-01-29

tlksI CHRISTIAN CHURCH-Meets at 167
south and Third East streets Bible school
III pm Memorial service at D. m ANY
and all will be made welcome at these services.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

recumbent and ungraceful position for five
minutes, and we promptly assured him
| that we would cheerfully spin the time out
| to quarter of an hour if it would be doina
! him favor After about 10 minutes we
arose and proceeded on our way without
| further adventure. There is a disposition
on the part of our fellow townsmen to cly
US, and of course the critter who runs the
dishrag weekly down the street is out in a
double loaded article telling how we craw-
hshed. We are serene, however We are
not college graduate, nor do we claim to
be philosopher OR statesman, but we do
know enough to ''hands up'' when chap
has the muzzles of two guns pressed against
our palpitating bosom and is rather anxious
to pull the triggers.
No SYNDICATE.-Last week our esteemed
fellow townsman, Captain Carter, sent a
note to this office to the effect that he had
just received fighting dog valued at $500
from his brother in New Mexico The can
tain looked for half column article on
that dog in our last issue, and not findineit
he gave out that he would form a syndicate
with capital of $4,000 to establish a rival
to THE KICKER. Tuesday afternoon we
buckled on our guns and paid the captain
friendly call. Only two shots We're fired
both of which missed-before he abandoned
his idea of a syndicate and expressed his Ell
tire satisfaction with our editorial policy,
which is to run TIE KICKER on metropoli-
tan principles. Captain Carter is progress
i've citizen, and Captain Carter's fighting
dog is a valuable addition to our local re.
sources, but Captain Carter will keep right
on running the Bald Eagle saloon and let
journalism take care of itself.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

heart goes cut for him. und be drinks fife
glasses Of my beer und eats more free lunch
ash sefen 1Flen ),
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

LUCY, DUN FOUND OUT ABOUT THAT CALL. ~
husbands apiece in the promised land We
marched him down to the forks, turned
him to the left, and rybody Civ him a
cut. He I'm never did cum back fur his
clothes. Reckon he I'M s still on the canter. -
And what did the men-your husbands
--say2"
"He-he-he! My ole Sam sits right down
yere next day and smokes and smokes and
smokes Bimeby he un says:
Lucy, dun found out about that call.
. thought it was the Lawd a-callin of me
alone to the promised land, but ! was mis-
took 1t was Sam Bebee a-callin of both
of US to cum over and eat green con and
coon meat fur dinner. Git on yer bonnet,
Lucy
''I'ze too ole and humbly, Sam
No, yer hain't, Lucy-no, yer hain't.
Swas jest a-lookin and a-fggerin. Yo'
hain't a day over foty, and yos the best
lookin woman on all this yere Cumberland
tumblification of hills and hollers Cum
ON, LueyP"
And so?" queried after a long pause
That's jest ALL" she replied as she
reached for some more tobacco, lest all
except that when my Sam gifts leetle
high headed jest say, Promised land to
him, and he willis right down like cab
bage leaf in the sunp'
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
HECHANGED HIS MIND
LUCY'S HUSBAND FOUND OUT ABOUT
THAT CALL.

He and Several Others Were All Ready
For the Promised Land, but They WiIted
Down After Certain Proceedings Had
Been Instituted.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
hat else" qleried the sergeant.

hcafU goes cut Tor nm, End he drinks fit
glasses Of my beer und eats more free Iuncl
ash sefen men,
What elses'' uueried the sergeant.
1T yhas like dot eafery night till vha.
shakin al! oafer NIT shilI all der time
One feIler he finds dot der trolley vhas out
Of order; der next one finds she vhas 2Gt
volts too mooch; der third one says she only
has finch stroke when be should be 10
der fourth cne likes to tighten oop der belt
und put en- Il safety valve. So it vhas al
der time till last night. Den feller comes
in und begins to look around nnd grow pale
und tell me dot der feed pipe in dot meter
vhas shtopped oop und der water all out OF
der boilero
'And he got beer also?" queried the ser
geant.
Not mooch! Vhas l some haystacks?
DO you see some greenness on me? Look
on my back und see if some flies vhas roost-
ing dere! vhas no longer scared l got
mad shust like lightning. make oop my
mind dot | haf troobles enough nit dot gas
meter, and l shump for him und Eaf it all
oafer."
"How?"
why, | take her off der pipe und send her
oop shtairs to der garnet. Den my son
Shake brings in der garden hose und puts
her on und lets all dot shmell 90 out by der
alley. She vhas booming avhay all night
und all day, but she can't scare me. Eel
lers come i'll to shpeak about flues und pis-
ton rods und cylinder heads, but it vhas too
late, und viias happy man again"
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
Her Poor Opinion.

"Weel, Janet" said one Of the elders OF
the Carbally parish church as he met old
kittlebody in the village street, ''hae ye
had ca frae the new minister yet?n
''Ou, ay, returned the old lady rather
shortly.
AN hoo are Se plessed WI hims" per
sisted the elder.
'Oh, juist middlin, juist middlin," +" re-
piled the dame, with some acerbity 81
canna' say l think very muckle o him."
IAN what mak's ye hae sic a puir opeen-
ion O. him?' inquired the church officer in
his most insinuating tone.
"Weel," was the answer, II dinna think
he's muckle guid o. a, minister, for every
Sabbath since he came he's prayed for guild
weather, an it's gettin wetter than ever
Glasgow Herald.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
An American Legend,

Once upon time an eastern cadi gave
out that he would make beautiful and
rich present to the most honest man in his
kingdom, and on the day appointed there
was great assemblage to see who should
secure the prize. A lightning rod man de-
| clared that he could have beaten an old
farmer out of SO, but his conscience would
not permit. A Bohemian oats agent cited
| half dozen cases where he had advised
| would be customers to sow shoe pegs in
stead of his oats. a sewing machine agent
came forward and took his affidavit that he
| had never spoken i'll of any other machine
A coal man declared that he had given 2 COO
| pounds where ! $50 would have filled the
| bill, and an ice man had indisputable proofs
| that his chunks were always a little over
weight. Then came street car conductor
who had never knocked down a cent,
druggist who had never made above so per
cent on prescription, a circus ticket agent
who had always given the correct change,
and 50 it went until the cadi felt compelled
to exclaim:
Indeed, but am proud to rule over such
an honest people! Each and every one of
you seems to deserve a presentE'
The next man who came forward ex
planned his case as follows:
20 cadi, was a subscriber to aweekly
newspaper. did not pay in advance Time
ran along until owed for IS long years.
One day saw Il notice of wood wanted on
subscription. Before 4s hours had passed
had delivered 19 cords of wood at The Bugle
office and taken receipt in FULL
But you put in old knots" replied the
cadi.
Never a one."
"You left cat holes in the piling"
Not q cat hole"
Then it was Eastwood orswamp elm and
not worth s2 per cord.'
80 cadi, it was all hard maple and |
beech. Aside from this the editor had ME
charged with only 10 years instead of 1S |
Dost not think am deserving of the prizes" |
mot by a jug fullr' exclaimed the great |
and wise man. Il remember the case very
well. AS soon as the editor found himself |
possessed of that wood he suspended pub
location, opened Il wood yard and made the
Is cords sell for 25! Step back, my friend,
and give the people room to come upr'
NJ. QUAD
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

Subscription sl1l a year, in advance.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
CARL DuNDER's GAS METER.
Called OH by Several Men, at Last He BE
comes Desperate

/ Called OH by Several Men, at Last He I:e
comes Desperate.
Sergeant" whispered Mr.. Dunder as b,
softly entered the station house the othel
day, maybe you haf experience NIT ga.
meter?"
YES a few years experience" answered
the officer as he looked at his caller over the
top of the desk.
Maybe she vhas all right, but dunno
like to shpeak nit you about him. Three
weeks ago make shange from lamps tc
gas | feels afraid, but eaferybody saws il
vhas all right und dot meter doan' blow
me oop sky high some time. | doan' like
dot gas. You can't feel her nor see her.
und she doan' haf no wick to turn oop or
down. She vhas in shust one hour when a
feller comes in und shtops und shmiIes und
listens und says:
"'Mr. Dunder, do you wish to be at der
golden gates of heafen in about four min
utes?'
"'Of course not
"'Vhell, it vhas lucky for you / came in
shust now. You doan' know about gas.
Der pressure on dot meter vhas shust seek
teen times too much, und purity soon you
vhas exploded all oafer town. T shall re
duee him for YOU
He goes by der place under der stairs
und makes it all right Dot yhas kindness
in him, und ask him to take glass of
beer. He vh;,s mooch obliged, und he takes
two glasses und IL cigar
Il see" said the sergeant
Der werrT next eafnings a feller comes
in und begins to look all around as if he
vhas scared, md pooty soon he says to me:
Mr.. Dunder, if you vhas so anxious to
die, Why doa1 you go out und hang your
self und not put der lives of so others in
peril2'
"'Ifow vhas dot2
"'Vhy, dot gas meter vhas making 400
revolutions to der minute when she can
shtand only $50. In three minutes more
some fues collapse, und You vhas der goncst
Dutchman in all dis country, nnd dis Sixth
ward vhas one scene of desolation. Where
you keep dot meter, eh?'
''Vhell, he crawls under der shtairs und
fixes her oop und safe my life, llnd of course
ask him to take Il glass of beer He vhas
oxeited, und he drinks four times''
Pm following you," said the sergeant as
Mr.. Dunder looked up.
"On der next eafnings | belief dot meter
yhas all right, und | vhas feeling happy
und peaceful when feller comes in by der
door und puts his hand oop to his ear to
listen. Pooty soon he whispers to me-
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
A Field Where an Ambitious Man Can
Find Wings.

A Field Where an Ambitious Man Can
Find Wings.
Nor YET.-We have not received our ap-
pointment as postmaster of this town yet
in place on the wretched critter who has
been handling the mails for the last three
years, but we are not worrying any. Even
IL postoffice comes to him who waits. It's
only question of time when we shall have
: the right to register ut a Chicago hotel as
editor, mayor, senator and postmaster, and
during the interval we may pick up dep
uty marshalship or something of the sort.
This is a field where an ambitious man is
not hedged around by barbed wire fences.
If he is determined to soar, he can find
wings We have collared everything we
reached for thus far, and we feel just as sure
of the postmastership us if we We're already
installed and throwing half the circulation
of our esteemed contemporary into the
wastebasket as an act of mercy toward his
subscribers. There are editors in this ter
eritory who are not looking for anything
fat. They have our heartfelt sympathy.
1T WAS Us.-Monday night at II o'clock,
as we were returning from the soiree given
by Mrs Flint on Gila place, a stranger rose
up from the earth and commanded us to
throw up our hands We didn't stop to in
quire his name, age or voting place, but up
went our hands, and our countenance took
on d benign expression lit the same in
stanG. The editor in chief of Il great New
York paper would have stopped to ask for
data and been bored. The mayor of Gin
cinnati, Chicago or St. Louis would have
waited for an introduction, according to
focial custom, and awoke in that brighter
and better land two minutes later. The
man in front of us was no gentleman. but
we didn't tell him so, as a Boston editor
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

Been Instituted.
Copyright, 1898, by Charles B. Lewis.7
lt was in cove on the Cumberland
mountains that sat on the doorstep of {
mountaineers cabin in the twilight of 6
summers evening and listened to the fol
lowing:
"Yo' see, stranger" said the mountain
eer's wife as she drew long whiff from
her corncob pipe and gave one of the dogs a
Kick with her bare foot, "a Mormon elder
he cum up yere to lead we uns to the prom.
lsed land. 1t war way out west sumwhar,
out he I'm had bin sent by the Iawd to lead
us through the wilderness. Reckon yo've
met up with them Mormous?"
Yes"
Got long tongues Good on the CAB.
Git everybody stirred up in no time. Peo-
pie all around yere got stirred up to 20 to
the promised land. He all promised every
man four or five wives, and the winin folks
was to sit and sing the praises of the Lawd
from mawnin till night. First / knowed
my ole man was hankerin to go. Then he un
got Bill Raynor and Sam Bebee and Jim
Iaylor a-ltchin fur to dwell in the tents of
the Lawd, as he un called em
Lucy says my ole man as he sot right
yere one night, the Lawd is dun a-calin of
me to go, and We'll sell them nevis
- : Sam, is the Lawd ta-callin of me too?
Ssseckon not. Yo' is too ole to be
called
Has the Lawd dun called Mrs. Bebee or
Mrs. Taylor?'
Reckon not. They is too ole and hum
blyto be called to the promised land
And how about Mrs Scott and Mrs.
Henderson and Mrs Bartlettp
Too ole and humbly. Lawd don't want
'em out thar
Stranger" said the woman as she ut
tered a chuekle of satisfaction, II reckon
yo' dun see the rabbit in the holler log?'
According to the elder the Lord only
wanted your husbands Eh?'
''Yo's hit it'll They all was packin I'D to |
go when sunthin happened. The elder was |
stoppin up yere at Tom Whites. Toms
wife was one of the ole and humbly ones
the Lawd didn't want. Thar was fo'teen |
of us. They all met yere bout 10 o'clock |
See that bresh over thar?''
"Yes"
Mighty fine place to cut switches. |
had 80 all cut and ready. We uns marched
up to Toms and took the elder outer bed
and tied him up in the back yard with the
clothesline. Powerful scarf, he I'm was.
while Tom was away. Did yo ever see a
messenger from the promised land git
a-switchin?"
No"
'They uns heard him holler. fur mile
and IL half, but thought it was nlewls bray
in. We used up 30 switches. He dun laffed
and cried and hoIlered and cussed He
called on the Lawd. He promised us fo'
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

Subscription to the Clarion 81 so a year
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

would have done Keeping us covered
with one of his guns he used t ile other hand
to remove our watch and cash. and We tried
to smile blandiy during the operation
When he had cleaned us out, he suggested
that ve lie down in the sand We regarded
the suggestion as good one and adopted
it without dissenting vote When he
limited that he was out of shoes and thought
ours would fit his feet, we hastened to coin
eide with his views. He took liking to
our hat, and we instantly offered to ex-
change tiles with him. When he was ready
to disappear, he asked US to remain in our
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
Doubted It.

The pretty girl at Old Point was just
hopping mad, SO she was.
whats the natter" asked a young
man whom she had only met that evening.
"Those foreigners are too horrid for any
thing" she exclaimed
''What have they been doing?"
why, that officer l was speaking to
asked me if | spoke French"
''And do you?"
why, of course | do. Hadn't l been
speaking French to him for half an hour?"
The young man restrained his risibles
for later developments. = Detroit Free
Press
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
Liked the Other.

1t was down in q Chautauqua village
that a gay young soldier had his sweet
heart Such Il beauty she was too
1t happened once that he sent her down
from Buffalo a pot of cold cream to keep
her checks as fresh us the budding rose
When he came down to visit her again, he
asked how she liked his little gift
''The taste was very nice, " she said with
rather a sickly smile, ''but think / like
the other kind of cream best "-Quips.
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

Mr.. Dunder, vhas it convenient for you
to pay out 100000 on der first of der
month";
Heafens, no! Vhas sometimes wrong
NIT dot gas meter agains
"Vhell maybe you vhill call him all
right, but | ioan' can tell by dot noise
dot she vhss burning gas at der rate of 49,,
000,0 GOO feet month. At 50 a thousand dot
makes you 100000. 1t yhas none of my
peesness of course, but if you'-
He vhas a very kind man, sergeant
He crawls under der shtairs und fixes oor
dose piston rods und cylinder heads und fly
wheels, und he says my gas bill vhas re-
duced from s32000,000 to about $40. My
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03
Georgia ON Deck.

We knew that Georgia'd get there, no matter
what they said,
For we always gave her credit for mighty
level head,
And we mounted her on bicycles, and soon
she'll make 'enl stare,
When they sec them wheels a-rollin
In the
St. Landry clarion. (Opelousas, La.) 1890-1921, 1893-06-03

She couldn't get free passes from the agricul-
tural boards
To take the big exhibits of her possums and
her gourds,
So she borrowed two good bicycles and started
on the square,
And you'll shortly see her rollin
In the
Worlds
You just can't down old Georgia. for she's up
at break o day,
And while you're coo!sin breakfast she is ten
miles on the way!
And soon she'll strike Chicago, and the people
won't tbs y stare
Whsn they see them wheels a-rollin
In the
Worlds
fair?
Atlanta Constitution.
Arizona republican., 1893-09-15

GOLD MINING in Arizona Is attracting
more attention than usual because Of
the depression in silver. That terri
tory will come to the front In the next
few years and will receive great deal
OF immigration. II has enormous re.
sources in both silver and gold, apd it
probably is the best gold region in the
United States, although its resources
in this respect are very little developed.
An effort will be made in the present
congress to secure the admission oil
Arizona into the Union, and il 1t be
successful il will stimulate the growth
and development of the country enor'
mously Republican.
Arizona republican., 1893-09-15

censure The government is so fear
full that the people may get the idea
that there is strength in union that IT
recently forbade the use of a certain
geography because 1t spoke of the
union OF two rivers. The censors are
especially vigiiant in suppressing all
publications which seem to prejudice
their religion. A recently published
tract in which it was stated that
'Christ came into the world to save
sinners" created wide commotion,
which was only allayed by the print
ing of revised edition in which the
word christian, was inserted before
the word sinners" 1t Is not surpris-
ing that a government which is thus
intolerant and fearful of the effects Of
enlightened education should sanction
the burning Of Christian colleges and
condemn Christian teachers TO death
and imprisonment, upon manufactured
pretexts, as was recently done in the
case Of the professors and officers OF
the American college and mission in
| Marsiyan.
Arizona republican., 1893-09-15

The ONO papers are fighting the
campaign in the good old way. The
meetings Of the opposition are poorly
attended and the speeches are coldly
received. The orator of the occasion
usually clears the ball, and so on ad
nauseum. The meetings held in behalf
Of the ticket favored by any Ohio pa
per you may happen to pick up are al.
ways overlooking and the speeches are
received with vociierous enthusiasm
and all that sort Of thing. OF all
newspaper lying the sort outlined above
is the silliest and OF the least effect.
Arizona republican., 1893-09-15
nulLn MORE HOUSES.

The scarcity Of honses for RENTS such
that "house famine" 10 imminent !;
and men with money cannot invest IT
to better advantage than by erecting
neat and comfortable cottages for rent,
This is the particular time eli the
year when the enterprising dwellers in
rented houses seek locations for the
ensuing year. The first Of October is
noted as moving day" in Phoenix
nix. But Of late, any observing per-
son, with half an eye" must have no.
ticed that house bearing the sign
''ior rent" has been Immediately en-
gagged and taken possession Of at an
early day.
This fact serves to show that there is
very large number Of families which
are constantly seeking comfortable ten
ements and also shows that house
containing four, FIVE or Six rooms, rent
ing for from $l2 to SIS per month, will
not remain empty. That class Of houses
are eagerly sought for and are seldom
tenantless.
This is not always the CAGE with more
costly houses-residence that have re-
ouired thousands OF dollars TO erect
them and that. consequently, must
bring more revenue in order to make
the investment q paying one. II 10
also true, however, that there are very
few OF such houses idle, comparatively,
owing perhaps to the fact that they are
nearly all located in the central portion
OF the city, are conveniently appointed
and modern in structure. Then, again,
several families can occupy one large
house and divide the cost OF rental
4 gas and servant hire and fuel. But fol
ordinarily small families, house com
posed OF four, five or six rooms is suffi
GENTLY large and, If the location is de
4 sirable, will always be in demand.
| Spectators, landlords and home
seekers understand this thoroughly, ant
take advantage Of their knowledge
every day, and that is the reason tina
when small dwelling house is Offered
for sale there is no scarcity of buyers
Small properties in Phoenix always pa.
big income on little outlay. This i
point for home.seekers and hous
builders.
Phoenix lie certain to become city o
much importance and aside from the in
+, como improved property viii increas
, in value. Now is the time to built
? houses.
Arizona republican., 1893-09-15
TURKISH TYRANNY.
Rigors OF the Censorship Obtaining In the
Suitan's Donations.

Rigors OF the Censorship Obtaining In the
Suitan's DomlniOns.
DIR. Francis T.. Clarke, the founder OF
the Society Of Christian Endeavor, who
has just completed tour around the
world, during which he visited and ad-
dressed thousands of societies, many
Of them in heather lands, gives an
amusing illustration of the rigors of
the censorship which obtains in Tur-
key. That was the only country visit
ed In ali his travels in which freedom
of speech was found to be impossible.
He was not permitted to use the words
s'union, 'afellowship,@ organization, 7
society," and was warned that any
expression which conveyed the idea Of
nnited action would expose him To
Arizona republican., 1893-09-15

LILLIAN RUssELL's leading tenor 10 an
applicant for divorce. The fact that
Miss Russell's company will shortly
bring out new piece has, OF course,
no connection with the troubles that
are being aired by herself and her help.
Bus, really, LILLIAN. the divorce racket
10 too ancient.