The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-02-23
THAT RED GOWN.
Why It Caused Mr.. Thimble a
Great Amount Of Trouble.

A sense of duty impels me, otherwise
should shrink from this task, for it is
. delicate and paint one. To begin
with, l call the gods to witness that
myself am to an infinitesimal degree
only responsible for the train of morti-
fications and regrets involved by that
little sin of feminine vanity wherewith
all the trouble began. To be more ex-
plicit, / will say at once, and speak
the solemn truth, that l never liked
that gown; / hated it from the very
moment when first it shrieked at me.
use that word advisedly. Mrs. Mac
gregor's gown was of that shade of red
which shrieks. For you must know
that Mrs. Macgregor's husband was,
as you might suspect, of Scotch de-
scent, and he had an instructive, con-
genital passion for that particular and
Shrieking shade of red which obtained
to a surprising degree in the trade
mark plaid of the Highland clan bear
ing the proud name of Macgregor. 1t
was in Difference to her husbands alb
surd, yet otherwise appropriate pas
sion, that Mrs. Macgregor had pur-
chased that gown. And Macgregor
was delighted with it. Its shrieks
were, in his prejudiced Scotch ears,
sweeter than the tones of the tuneful
bagpipes. They were, | fancy, more
grateful to his sodden Highland soul
than the milder persuasive influences
of finnan haddie or of Athol brose. Yet
hated that red gown. Yes, at the
very beginning | in tuitively recognized
and regarded it as a thing of evil.
Mrs. Macgregor is my wife's sister,
and sweeter lady never walkedS in
heather, excepting, of course, nv
wRe herself, who in spite of
her very few, but very disas-
trous frailties, is unquestionably
the most beautiful and most amiable
creature in all the world. The Mac
gregors live near us; we see one an
other constantly. This is great con-
venience. Macgregor abounds in
Scotch thrift; it is an inestimable boon
TO have a brother-in-law handy when
one is constrained to borrow money to
answer sudden and imperative de-
mauds.
Last summer Mrs Turner wrote nv
wife charming letter inviting us to
pay her a visit. Mrs. Turner has a
lovely summer house at Calm Lake.
If You have ever visited the delightful
Wisconsin lake region You surely do
not have to be told of the extraordin-
airy beauties of Calm Lake, nor do
have to assure you that the Turner's
have made for themselves and their
friends the most delightful retreat in
all that delightful country. OF course,
Mrs Thimble and / were overjoyed by
the prospect of a sojourn in this lovely
spot We accepted Mrs Turner's in.
vitation with dispatch and an enthu-
siasm which must have made even
Mrs. Turner's gracious hospitality
quake with astonishment.
am in no sense a man of the world.
My life has been spent in meditation
and in the pursuit of the literature of
education. My History of Henhawlx
County" my First Book for Amateur
Astronomers" and my essay upon The
Essential Principles of Vulgar Frac-
tions" have enrolled my name-T say it
in all modesty-in the proud roster of
my country's benefactors ! am of
cain, contemplative nature: l love
tranquility, shun the'excitements and
vaniues of society life. recall now
with a painful blush how upon a time
1 made my appearance at a church
sociable wearing my ear muffs-the re-
suit of mental abstraction, for lust
then l was deep in work upon log
arithm involved by the conjunction of
Aidebaro and the other eye of Tau
rus
So was surprised and ANNOYED when
Mrs Thimble, having accepted Mrs.
Turner's invitation, suggested to ne
that her wardrobe was hardly extern.
slve enough to admit of her making !
successful appearance at a fashionable |
watering place. 1t had not occurred |
to me that Calm Lake was that kind of |
n place; neither had it occurred to me |
that Mrs Thimble's wardrobe was not |
extensive. | recalled that OF the seven |
spacious closets in our house | was not |
permitted to use one, and so had to |
stow away my linen AID other traps in 1
the lower drawers of a bureau. | re-
membered very distinctly the pearl I
gray dinner gown and the brown silk 4
and the English walking dress and /
- and - but why enumerate? / was
wholly satisfied with Mrs Thimble's
wardrobe, and it seemed to me
that if her husband was salts
fed, surely the wife ought not to
complain But Mrs. Thinble thought