River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-06-15
NO SERMON.


A clergyman heard that certain poo
pie were criticising the infrequency
with which he visited them. "Do they
say neglect the sick or he afflicted"
mo, but they think you might drop
in oftcner in a soeis way"
"Ah. ! see; thank you very much for
a hint I'll attend to this"
Monday morning the pastor left his
home, and carrying a carefully-revised
list of his parishioners in a small book,
he began house-to-house visitation. IL
was wash day. His congregation was
made up of all sorts and condi-
tions of people. lie didn't mind it.
lie at once adapted himself To
circumstances Entering house.
he began talking about soap. and am
monia, and royal bluing, and wire
clothes-pins, and patent line pullies,
and stationary tubs. and pickup din
ners, and tired laundresses. IL was just
delightful.
Tuesday, he resumed his rounds.
Now he discoursed on beeswax, smooth
ing irons, satin-finished shirt fronts,
the consumption of fuel. and the ever
lasting raking at the stove. He grew
in favor.
Wednesday, he continued ringing
bells and rapping at doors. Tie threw
out wise suggestions about the work
basket, spoke of stocking darning. and
how to sew new patches : in the
denoralized seat of little boys trousers.
He showed a charming familiarity
with needles. and scissors, and thimbles.
He made a deep and abiding impress
sion.
Thursday, nothing daunted, and
moved by a noble ambition to elevate
the flock. he spent the entire day com
menting upon pleasures derived from
formal calls, evening parties, and
dramatic entertainments. 1t tired him
awfully, but he would not give up.
Friday found him talking up the
merits of furniture polish, the advan-
tages of salt over tea leaves for clean
ing carpets describing different meth
DDS of busting. and the wholesome eff
fleets of exposing mattresses to the sun
light He kept growing in favor.
Saturday morning, he hurried
through breakfast, and after consult
ing the list of names, he informed his
wife that he would not return until
late in the evening, and again renewed
his pilgrimage. Some families
who didn't keep cooks were at
work in their kitchens. lie in
sisted upon going there, SO as
not to disturb their plans He fasci-
mated them with his knowledge of GU
linary science. He discussed the rela-
tive merits of baking powders, told how
to make ice-cream without eggs, brown
bread without yeast and delicious jelly
from dried apples. lie expressed hope
that they never fried fish without flour
ing, and warned them never to drop
erullers into the kettle until the lard
was boiling. He abominated hot lemon
pie, but by the urgent invitation of a
newly-married experimentalist, he con
scented to eat a piece, and suffered for
two days afterward in consequence
Footsore and tagged, he returned TO
the parsonage about nine o'clock. Sun
| day came. The church was filled. The
preachers stock had suddenly jumped
way up. At the time for the sermon
he came to the pulpit step and
thus spoke: with desire to concili-
ate those of my brethren who never in
health or sickness land have been in
both conditions) think il is necessary
or polite to call upon me, have spent
the entire week in the parish. Out of
| two hundred families, | have found
| just nineteen persons ailing. Two com
/ planned of liberated teeth. one was
suffering from a stiff neck. one was
nursing toe with an ingrowing nail,
/ three had sick headache. five were doc
toring for neuralgia, two had asthma,
one was laid up with broken leg and
/ four bad colds in their heads. Under
/ the circumstances have had no time
/ left for study or the preparation of a
/ sermon. of course you do not expect
/ one. Let ms pray!"-Living Church.