The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-04-18
Advantage of Fine Weather.--No News
From the Duel-Henry Wat
terson Interviewed.

B.-"Hellol Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hello! Bro. BIkins. Fine
weather we are having" sd
Fine as -iIk. It is nifty guide on the
offs seekers in Washington, fer they
are havin'' to sleep out of doors now.
There is so much prosperity foatin'
around that they hain't got any money
nor credit"
R.-"Have you any late news from
the duel?'
B.-"Not a thing, but Betsy is rarin'
around gettin' ready fer the picknick
whut the Prince Nv Wales is goin' ter
give in the Dizmul Swamp"
R.-'You had better not deceive
your wife about that matter. When
she comes home life won't be worth
anything to you"
Bee Wilkins! that is what I've
been thinkin' -erbou5. Betsy will raise
the roof off the house when she comes
home an fnds how l fooled her. If
she gets too obnooktus I'll report her to
the Attorney Colonel at Raleigh an tell
him she is partyzan and Oughter be
taken down a peg Oh two. He will tell
me ter take her before a notar pub
lican an have her bound up ter keep
the peace for five years."
R-"You car do nothing along that
line. There are thousands of men in
the State who would like to have pro
lection, but they can't get it from the
Attorney Colonel, as you call him. He
, was elected to lock after the Alliance
and he has torn nearly all of his hair
out trying to study up some plan to
make the Allan e grow and prosper"
B.-"HelIo! / thought he was agin
u.s."
R.-"Well, he is and That is why the
Alliance is doing so we'll The Ali
ancemen are opposed to tyranny. and
when the Attorney General drew the
bill to amend the charter he did the
Order a grand service, That is what
makes it so funny"
B-"Say, hitch my phone to Kurnel
Henry Watterson at Lewiville, Ky. l
wanter ask him erbout gettin' side
tracked on the silver an tariff ques-
, ton. Hello! KUrnel Watterson, hello!
Wake up an tell me whut you are doin
for the country these days"
Watterson Hello who is that?'
B.-"My name is Major Blkins,
from North Carolina"
W.-"Oh!yes, glad to hear from you
Major. North Carolina is a fine old
State. 1t was the birthplace Of indie
pendence and the tarheel boys were
''stickers" during the late war"
B.-"Hold up, there, Kurnel, l
wanter know where you stand these
days. You use to be the champion ov
tariff reduction an free coinage"
Won! I am still preaching from
the same text. Tariff reform Is the
paramount issue, and free coinage an alb
solute necessity, though w%ecannot put
toomuch stress upon them at this time
it would not be good policy. We will
educate the people upon these ques-
tions for the next four years and they
will be the leading planks in our plat
form for '96."
B.-"Hold up, there, Kurnel. |
thought the people had bin goin' ter
schulz about % years, an I thought as
the Democrats have the President and
both houses of Congress now, there
would be no trouble about some good
legislation on that line"
g W.-"Oh! I see, well-well er-I see
sec what2 Well, President Cleve-
LAND, er-says the business interests of
the country, er-welI, he says we can't
afford any legislation just yet on those
questions. In fac5-well, er-well, we
wont have time to do anything in the
next four years. This is a big country
and it takes time, and we must go
slow, and er well-you see-you know,
well we can't afford to have wildcat
money. The President knows more
than all Of us-yOu see-well-you see
the question of annexing the Hawaii
islands must be settled first, you see."
b-"Yes, er-well-yes-by gosh I
See-yes' l see. You felIers are regular
PollIlcal pirates an have bin foolin the
people. Yes, 1 see, you don't propose
70 DC anything and that ends il Good
bye" ' 0o0N
II the preachers must not sav
anyChlng about the dear RennhIico1
parry IN the South they must not cav
@nyCulhg about the dear Damocro+;n