The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-09-30
Laughworthles.


ence between Mrs. Parvenue and a
point?
The West Point Cadet-I hate mathe-
mathics and give It UP.
The Vassar GirL-Well, point Is
that which has position but occupies no
space. and Mrs Parvenue occupies space
but has no position.-I-ife.
William Brown. a colored Romeo, Ala.
| who claims TO be lO3 years old. recently
applied at the Mobile. Ala, courthouse
for a marriage license.
"why don't you go to work. asked the
| benevolent woman.
"Wen." replied Dismal Dawson, In a
voice mingled with tears and pie, i 'ried
| keepin' a hotel oncet. and l tried runn1n
| a newspaper oncet, and both or EN- NJ
| zled. so | just give It up l knowed that
a me1 who couldn't get rich on any enc
| OF them business wasn't meant to get
along in this w0rld.-Indianapoiis journal.
nal
Mrs. Bysr.-Those are nice looking
eggs.
Grocer (enthusiastically)-Yes, they re
birds. And then he wondered why she
| did mt buy any.-New York Recorder
Dudly-Coats are worn a little longer
than usual this fall.
Fewcads.-I don't wonder The times
never were so hard before.-Texas SIT
| ings.
Cooney Driestein.-Don'd you own a
lot OF stock in dot North Greenwich IN
surance Company
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures, YhyE
Cooney Dreistein-Den you peter sells
oud. I'm insured in. dot comDany for
dwendy dousand toiiars. unit I've had
tream dot mine store purns down mad
veek-Life.
Mr. Uppercruse ito his son)-I say,
Charles, why don't you wear your dess
suit?
Charles-Not much. The last time /
wore my dress suit at party young
lady ordered me to bring her cup OF
coffee and be quick about It.
SAY" said regular customer of the
side street restaurant as he topped II me
desk to pay his check, where Cd you
get that beef you are serving today
whats the matter with ~" aggres-
sively asked the cashier, who scentt d an
other kick.
There's nothing the matter With it;
that's why 1 asked."-Life.
On a Way Train: John .Chinaman-Me
get ee out Showing ticket ID brakeman
Brakeman holding him "a * while ex-
aiming tickeD-No, sit down; l will
tell you when we reach the station.
John Chinamen-Me get-ee out Newark
place.
Brakeman-Sit down. say zwei ,zwei yet
yet. Showing his fingers)
German passenger Gndisnant) 80 Vat
you mean, you tam no-noding ignorant
Irish? Vat Insult for you mel1' Vat fer
you say German 10 Eat lam lao speek
Chinaman?
well, Miss Billus is mafried at LAST
"Whom did she marry?"
Really. my dear fellow. l have no de-
sire 10 expose any one who IS overtaken
by misfoft Record.
When money is tight II mems that II is
locked up. It's sometimes 'his way with
a man.-Scottish American.
Uucle Silas was at the theatre II was
with intense delight tina he saw he tCrO-
bat go across the stage on MS hands.
Turning to his wife he SAID. well, am
glad / found out at last
Found what out?'
How they do II. I've often read IN
the funny papers about actors wp'kln' On
their uppers, but l never knowed before
what II Observation-Disclosures Star.
An Omaha policemen has been sus-
pended for neglect Of duty, but rever was
patrolman. probably, ever before sus-
pended for neglect under such circum-
stances. As he pleads. he entered a
church and, becoming interested in the
services, remained too long.