The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1893-09-20
DE PLEASANT.

DE PLEASANT.
II there is any one thing we all need
TO learn. and having learned. 10 prac-
tlce II is this one simple matter-be
pleasant. 1t may seem a small thing to
do. yet there is little one may under
take that is more difficult and which
taxes the powers OF self-control TO
greater degree. II is easy 10 be pleas
ant when all our business interests are
moving smoothly, when the whole world
seems TO wear a smile. Then we may
reflect the smile OF everything around
us without effort on our own part, and
in that way get the reputation OF being
pleasant. even n we are not.
In no place should the average man
and woman be more particular about be-
ing pleasant than in the family circle.
There. II anywhere. the frowns or smiles
OF the father. the husband. the brother
the mother and wife. the sister. have the
most influence. Nevertheless, Il Is in
the home circle that the frowns are apt
W NC klNtn luil sway anu Sfllled ana
pleasantness seldom seen. Especially Is
this true OF the man absorbed in busl-
ness and the woman whose time is oc-
cupied with multitudinous charities and
other benevolent work, or who Is doing
her best TO shine in social life. This
Miniature is more noticeable at meal
time than at any other hour In the day
and IL is not uncommon for a man or
woman 10 sit through the whole meal
without speaking, or. at best, but snarl-
ing when he tries to make a noise
What an example for the children, and
what will be the effect?
II matters not how seriously business
troubles may be pressing upon a man or
how many outside charities need atten-
ton by the woman. neither has the
right to be cross to the other or to the
children at home. They should keep a
little of the sunshine which they dis
pense so freely abroad for the home
hearthstone. and II they do not feel like
being gay they can. at least, be pleas
ant. That costs but little and amounts
to much.
AS matter OF fact, however. the man
who is often all smiles and affability
in his office or shop when talking with
customers is the acme Of frowns when
at home. The woman who goes to the
charitable meeting and is the perfection
of gayety there will go home and scold
everybody she meets. 1t is the outcome
of wrong conception Of the duties of
life. a misunderstanding of what should
prevail in the home and what should
be given to strangers.
1t isn't for lack Of love that there is
so much acrimonious criticism and soul
scorching language used. 1t is solely
because the man or woman does not try
to practice self-control at home. Merely
because the lover or friend has become
the husband or wife seems in the minds
Of a large number to give the COM
panion the right to say as hateful
things as possible. There are times
when a little reproof or correction is
a good thing, when the attention Of one
may be called by the other to some
slight shortcomings which seems to mar
an otherwise perfect department. Then
say it kindly, not in spirit of harsh
criticism. but in the spirit of love which
ought to characterize all the actions
OF husband toward wife and wife toward
husband. Never speak harshly to one
another, and let this be particularly
applied In the presence of strangers.
Nothing is so humiiating as receiving,
and nothing is so degrading to the one
uttering. the reproofs The wounds made
then will never heal. They may be COW
cred up, but far down they are bleeding,
even when the surface seems to be COW
cred with the healing influences OF
time.
Only the kindness which existed be-
fore the couple took each other for bet
ter or for worse can make a home
truly happy; and even though the cares
of life are pressing hard, even though
the course in the future seems uncer-
tain and almost impossible Of following,
yet one can be pleasant and not snarl
or growl every time member Of the
family speaks. Self-control is a very
valuable acquisition and the best place
OF all the world is to exercise 1t among
ones own fanny and at ones own fire.
side