Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-23

conduct and conversation proper TO such
peedlesslv solemn occasions, but there
is not. Every young man with sum-
mer suit and a vacation has felt the
need of Just such books, and some phil
anthropist ought to devote himself to
the writing of them. Probably he will
now that the long felt want has been
pointed out to him, for there are shekels
in it by the boatloads. Meanwhile the
SUNDAY REGISTER steps into the breach
with a few suggestions as to moonlight
and starlight conversations, which the
Young man will do well TO learn by
heart and practice on the beach, with
pc bibles In his mouth, on wet mornings
when the surf runs high and booms
like great guns.
"What Are the Wild Waves Saying"
"The Man in the Moon" and Read the
Answer in the Stars" are naturally the
best subjects to study, as on these even
ing walks the ocean, the moon and the
stars are-it is TO be hoped-the only
objects in view. 1t Is easy, OF course,
to cram up on poetry dealing with such
celestial objects, but that any numb
skull can do. Besides, the girls read a
great deal OF poetry themselves, and
she may spoil the whole effect
by repeating the refrain just when
YOU have made an artistic pause,
or she may gently sigh at the memory
of some handsome fellow who once
breathed the same lines to her under
similar circumstances. Poetry alone is
not sufficient, for poetry buffers no
parsnips, and girls are often practical
in their thought when you least expect
1t. 1t is easy, very easy, to invite her
to gaze upon the deAthless heavens and
guess what star shall be your home
when love become immortal, but that is
too indefinite for her. She will be all
the time guessing whether you can az
ford il; whether you mean whole star
or only an upper fat in 1t and how you
will furnish II, and these details you
naturally wish 10 avoid in mere sum-
mer courtship.
Therein lies the danger OF talking
poetry Of the Imagination without q
| back track OF fact TO switch on when
| the express comes along. You may tell
her that she sis farer than u thousand
skies" with comparative safety, but II
YOU allow your ardor TO carry you into
the next line, "Clad In the beauty OF a
thousand stars" she will softly COM
mune with herself as to whether you
are worth enough TO introduce you TO
Worth, the dressmaker, and these are
prosaic emotions you do not care TO
\ awaken In her gentle breast You can
not be too careful, you see. 10 the
really thoughtful youth these examples
of the possible evils OF poetry quoting
may be found sufficient. A nod Is as
good as wink to blind horse and love
is proverbially blind.
10, what you have first to do is to
| get up a smattering OF astronomy and
/ talk it of in al easy, meditatlve way. a
/ few facts garlanded with the poesy Of
fancy to cover the raw edges OF pedan-
/ try and poverty Of real knowledge. The
| facts must seem TO be incidental, and
/ only q sample Of what you know, and
the light, airy description entirely due
to inspiration drawn from her own
sweet self. You are never witty. eXcep:
with her, DO other girl inspires you.
That's yer lay" as Brodie, the Bow
cry philosopher, would put it.
Look up trst the real movements Of
the planets and their present posi-
tions, being careful to refer only to
those shining overhead, and not those
on vacation and therefore In
visible at their usual places Of
business. You might say a few words
about our own planet which At this
time is in the position known as aphe-
lion, or At the greatest distance from
the sun. This comes in after you have
remarked, ''It has been very hot TO-
day" and she has agreed with you, fer