Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-12-25
STRENGTH and Health.

nave painted NJ sell.
Strength and Health.
| Strength and Health. If you are not feel
| ing strong and healthy, try Electric Bitters.
| If ''La Grippe" has left you weak and weary,
use Electric Bitters. This remedy acts direct
| 1y on Liver, Stomach and Kidneys, gently aid
| ing those organs to perform their functions.
If you are afflicted with Sick Headache, you
will find speedy and permanent relief by tax
! ing Electric Bitters. One trial will convince
| you that this is the remedy you need. Large
bottles only soc. at II. @. Pierces Drug Stores
Amy sleeping apartments in the
club you belong to? B.-Not one ex-
cept the reading room.
The principal article on the menu at
Washington at present is the Sand
wich, and it isn't very palatable.
Mrs. Young wife Cher first order to
the butcher)-Send up a roast Of beef,
and be sure to have it rare!
A Kansas paper, speaking Of an ac-
cident, says: zone man was killed and
the other had his head severed from
his body"
Teacher What happened when the
man killed the goose that laid the
golden egg? Dick Hicks-His goose
was cooked.
BUCKLEN's ARNICA SALvE.-The Best Salve
in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers,
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or pay
quired. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect sat
isfaction, money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box. For Sale by H. G. Pierce.
Mike-They do be afther tellin' me
that I has insomnia. Biddy-Then
why don't yez be afther goin' to bed
an slapin' it aft?
Mr. Jason = Deacon Green never
hears from that boy Of his'n any more.
Mrs. Jason-No; I guess he's gone to
the bad for good.
HWaiter, it is almost half an hour
since I ordered that turtle soup!"
er-Sorry, sir; but you know how
slow turtles are.
Mrs. R.-Chris topher, darling, new
er can remember whether soda water
is written as one word or two joined
together by syphon?
Hunk-What prompted you to ask
Miss Giddy to be your wife? Green
I think Miss Giddy herself prompted
me more than anybody else.
I suffered from severe cold in my head for
months and could get no relief. Was advis-
ed to use Ely's Cream Balm. It has worked
like magic i'll its cure. | am free from my
cold after using the Balm one week, and be-
lieve it is the best remedy known.-Samuel j.
Harris, Wholesale Grocer, 119 Front ST. New
York.
Cali want, madam" said the poor
man at the door, els a place to lie"
Lady-Then get a government com
mission and strike for Honolulu.
If fishes knew enough to live in the
ground instead of water, remarked
Frank, they could get all the worms
they wanted without hooks in them.
Saleswoman-I can stoutly recon-
mend you this style of mantle. Only
last week an intimate friend Of mine
became engaged in just such another.
Little Johnny was sent by his moth
er for loaf of bread, and ran home
with the loaf held at arms length, be-
cause the baker said there was little
Indian in it.
Elder Berry = It must be a great
comfort to know your husband has
gone where there Is no night. Mrs.
Weeds 1t is, to be sure; he was
great hand to hang out nights.
Prof. Barrett of ST. Lawrence county, n. "
speaking of pulmonary diseases, says: not
one death occurs now where twenty died be-
fore Downs Elixir was known. Over fifty
years OF constant success places Downs Elk
ir at the head of the long list of cough rene
dies.
Harry-Well, never heard but one
speech that moved me. Cecil-Who
made it? Harry-My land1ady. She
said I'd have to pay in advance or
move-and I moved.
Male Passenger (standing in a street
carr Madam, you are standing on
my foot. Female Passenger (sweetly)
Beg pardon, sir. thought it be-
longed to the man sitting down.
Helen-Have you decided what you
are going to give Harry for Christmas?
Mrs. Harry-Yes. I've selected sever
al beautiful brushes and a tray I've
wanted for my dressing table for a