Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-12-03
,bese breaches must be wearing the

but these breaches must be wearing the
wife, really now"
But he only wrung my hand, told me
that his was q hidden sorrow, but the
world was wide, and then proceeded as
before to 60 out into the night and per-
form his Idiot feat CT circling round the
n~eighborhood and getting over fences
and climbing in at his W window 10
the morning.
He never succeeded In getting beyond
the reach Of the velvet paw. But his
intention was good.
My other friend-to distinguish him
| will call him a white mouse-sufers
from continual Abandonment oY his
wife. She has a subtle instinct, which
tells her that he has specially owing
spells. She wathes these spells coming
on and then makes q sudden visit TO her
mother. Ny white mouse comes home
loaded with extra dellcacies and hnds
the house deserted. He storms, knocks
over the umbrella stand, muses. up the
toilet stand, throws the tides on the
floor, kicks the dog and swears he will
20 and find the boys and have a good
time.
He never does. he goes obediently In
search of his truant to her mother s.
and there he Is worried FOR hours by the
two women, who treat him with extra
~politeness and tell him what a scheme
they have Of going off for u weeks out
ing and letting him run the house all by
himself. When he is brought 10 the
last limit OF endurance and PUSHES out,
declaring that be will go of himself for
a month, his tormentor returns home
and waits for him as demurely as II she
had never beSu out of the house.
The exercise OF this kind Of power Is
woman'S perogatiye. II she doesn't
torment you she doesn't o you.
Both Of my mice have evolved a the
orr that a man should never give up his
natural runianism IL he wants TO have
his own way with a woman.
They always say Shakespeare knew
how 20 get along with women. All
what a head no had, my boy; he cre-
ated Petruchio. Women respect ruff
fame: men who wreck things, who have
spasms that ii is not polite TO bring on,
in which they knock down their wives
and kick the furniture to pieces.
I call this the mouse theory.
1t doesn't work.
In the first place, any exhibition of
that kind convinces the cat that you
have a coarse organization and cannot
suffer keenly. The moment she dis
covers that fact she loses interest In
you. She thinks that her ideal has
persisted, and il you are not careful she
will set up another one with finer sus-
capabilities.
In the second place, she Is apt to re-
fer somewhere in your career with an
angel voice that it must be fun TO have
to buy the furniture three times over.
know Of one OF these creatures, who
conceived the purely feminine iniquttY
OF instigatlng her spouse to strike her,
lust for the exquisite delight OF going
about afterward with & black eye and
sticking the knife Of remorse Into him
In her sweetest manner.
That will explain TO you why the
wives, who appear In the police court
against the wife heaters, always beg the
Judge to let them of.
Good heavens! You don't suppose
they would willingly give up the exquls-
ite delight Of making the men suffer for
1t, to the judge, do youP
No, no., my boy; women are not inqui-
sltious who use thumbscrews and try to
convert people. There are delicious
little Ner0s, who want to sit on an ivory
throne and enjoy suffering for the fun
Of it. Men who deceive and abandon
women are wild beasts. Women who
coax men TO fall in love with them so
that they can torture them as esthetes,
and they must be pardoned, because
they are not thinking OF the suffering
they inHict, only Of the satisfaction
they receive. NYM CRYNKLE.