Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-07

by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.
THERE is no such thing as a fin
ished reputation. Galveston News
THE lawyer is like the slugger. II
he wants to succeed he must keep in
practice -Picayune.
The popular pianist finds little diff
ticulty in realizing on his notes Of
hand. Buffalo Courier,
The sculptor is generally fishing
for fame when he makes a cast
Glens Falls Republican.
THE philosopher is wise man who
absolutely refuses to have any ene-
mics Galveston News.
HE is a miss guided youth who
does everything his sweetheart asks
him to do.-Boston Courier.
IT is rather too much to expect
man on his uppe's to be whole
souled fellow.-Buffalo Courier
No MAN is as good as he demands
the young man shall be who asks for
his daughter. Globe.
THERE have not been so many revo-
lutiOns on the seas since the close Of
the bathing season.-Plain Dealer.
Mr.. PRIME-"Mrs. Dawson fairly
worships that son of hers" Miss
! Spiteful-"Yes; he is so unlike his
father. Music and Drama.
WHEN there is company in the
house the members of the family be-
| gin to say "Good morning" to each
other at breakfast. -Atchison Globe.
"THAT's point in your favor, "
said the lawyer to his new type
writer, as she completed very nice
job of pencil-sharpening. - Buffalo
Courier.
He Gan old hand) - They have
dropped their anchor She Ga begin
ner) -Served them right 1t has been
hanging over the side all day long. -
TidBits.
"HAvEN'T seen you FOR an age,
| Charlie?" "No; I've changed my
business what are you now?"
"Floorwalker. It's twins. "-Detroit
Free Press.
y
Sing! l do feel shorty for him. " "Be
dad, an yure shympathys trowed
away. He's surrounded by frinds. y
Brooklyn Life.
did I hear you say that you have,
found in your mother-in-law your
ideal?" eyes, indeed; all the COM
ments ever made on mothers in-law
| 70 horiD E1iaranIn P1attar
THE CLERGYMAN - "And why
should little boys say their prayer
every night?" The Good Boy--"So's
the Lord can have chance to get
what they want by morning. Life.
PAPA-Won't you be glad when
you are big man, Harry? Harry
No. papa. Papa-Why not? Harry
Why, because then | cannot get into
the circus for half price. -Harper's
Young People.
PEDEsTRIAN-You should be in
better business than begging. A
great, strong fellow like you ought to
look for work. Beggar-What!
Throw up sure thing for an uncer-
tainty?-Tid-B Bits.
SINGLETON-In her girlhood days
your wife was possessed of very
sunny disposition. Has she any Of it
vet? Longwed -, Well-er-enough
to make things warm for me OCcas-
ionally Buffalo Courier.
"AREN'T you glad you have little
brother to play with, Tom?" inquir-
ed neighbor referring to the fort
olJ h,b NV wi n
echoed Tom, scornlully. "Why, he
can't even wash his own face."-EX-
change.
AN error Of the press, for which
an ample apology must be forthcom-
ing: When you think you're press
ing the foot of tf pretty niece under
the table and find you've accidentally
been pressing that Of the elderly
maiden aunt.-Drake'S Magazine
Mr.. EAsTsIDE-"I heard you had
the bad luck to upset your plate Of
soup over lady's silk dress at the
dinner yesterday" Mr.. Westside-
eyes. it was pretty hard luck for me.
You know it is contrary to etiquette
to ask for a second plate Of up .
Texas Siftings.
KIDDER-"Did it ever occur to you
that in riding bicycle you might be
encouraging certain form Of gam
bjing?" Ministerial Enthusiast
Horrors, no. There's no gambling
about a bicycle, is there?" Kidder
-"Ain't, en-? I'd just like to know
if it hasn't been wheel Of fortune
to the makers?"-Buffalo Courier
MAUD-And, pa, what did Trof
Crochet say of my piano playing?
Pale was quite extravaganza in his
praise. He said you possessed an
originality in execution that was
truly remarkable. He said he had
heard some of your pieces performed
by the greatest masters, and not one
of them played as you did.-Boston