Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-08-25
A VENTILATING HAT.


 had got to the very bottom of the ladder. Never mind how got there, or why got there, that's my business, and it doesn't concern you ill the least. But 1 was earning my living all the same, and earning it honestly. l had read sto- ries of the workhouse, and they made my flesh creep. It wasn't pride that made me work; it wasn't an honest spirit of independence. II was the workhouse l dreaded and the peculiarly unattractive fare provided for the pauper. And there 1 was with Is pence, my days earnings, between me and the casual ward. With in 24 hours that IS pence would assuredly disappear, and unless got work of some sort to the casual ward should have to go. l and a gentleman in position sim | liar to my Cwn were talking matters over.
 Things is very slack, governor" said he to me
 There is one game you might try" continued my acquaintance with a be nignant smile, and that's Wilkins, the ventilating natter. But you cant keep on with that long, you know. It's ruin ! to the constitution"
 Anything was better to my mind than the casual ward, so asked for Wilkins | address.
 Oh, you can't miss it." was the an- swer; you just walk down Shoreditch. | There's always crowd outside Wilkins | shop. and all you've got to do is to ask, holdlike, for Wilkins, and when you sees him you just urs and says, I'd like to be ln the way of earning a honest 'alf | crown, sir Then he'll put you in the | way at wunst." Then my friend nodded and departed.
 \ arrived at Shoreditch. I wasn't long in finding Wilkins-there was crowd in front of the window. In the window were hundreds of hats. Every one of them had ticket bearing the same leg end, Wilkins Nentilating Hat" then followed the price. I gradually elbowed my way to the front TOW, and then perceived the nature of the exhibition that gave so much pleasure to the in habitantS of Shoreditch.
 In the center of the array of hats were two human heads, which protruded through two artfully constructed holes in the polished mahogany which formed the flooring of the shop front. Each mead was covered by what appeared to be an ordinary tall hat. The head on the right had a large window ticket be- mind it, on which were the following words:
 Wilkins vrntilatiuG hat. Perfect comfort. No suffering from heat by want of ventilation. The wearer of this lrticlr enjoys life. The head is human. There is mo deception. The only estab- hshmrnt i'll which Wilkins ventilating lat may be obtained. It comes as boon and a hlro,inE to men, like the Pick wick. the Owl and the Wavcrlcy pen" ! There was similar ticket behind the
 al on the left:
 The ordinary silk hat. Observe how the unfortunate wvtrrr suffers from the heat Puer fellow! He evidently wishes ! himself dead. The common unVcntilated hat of commerce. is Il titnlish invention worthy of the atr"citIvS of the worst | laNs of the spanish iuuui,itiun. The wcarsr of an unvrntilat,,l hat is hurry Ing to an carly grave The head is hu- man; there ie no dtcelt!"a." | noticed that tLe mulo-anv plankine ~f inc shop front b.l,w the heads was Ipcrforatej with innumt small holes l Then l observed that there was q very great difference i'll the appearance of the faces of those wearing the hats. The gentleman wearing Wilkins vcntilatine hat looked the picture of contentment He smiled. He seemed uS if he had at tained the summit of human bliss. H, was evidently very comfortable indeed The other head presented striking con trast. Never till now had l the leas idea that such dreadful effects were pro duced by the wearing of an unventilate( , hat. The face was as pale as death. 1 cold precipitation seemed to trickle iron , every pore. The mouth was set a though ill agony, and all through an un ventilated hat. I boldly determined t, enter the shop.
 , What can l show you. sir" said al assistant, with excessive urbanity. Il want to see MT. Wilkins" Ireplied
 That is Mir. Wilkins" said the man
 indicating portly and benevolent look
 ing gentleman in black silk waistcoat : What can l do for you. my man?
 said MT. Wilkins.
 l I'd like to be in the way of earnin l an honest half crown. sir" replied. ) Very good, my man. said MT. Vii l kins, with smile. 'Is there vacanc = today, Boldger:"
 "Yes, sir. Certainly, sir" replied tn
 man. We shall be ready for the ger
 tleman in about 20 minutes"
 Been here before, my man:" said Nil
 Wilkins to me, not unkindly. Not l." replied.
 "Then you'd better put him throug
 the mill, Boldger," said MT. Wilkins t t the foreman.
 eel "Step this way, young man." said th # foreman to me, and followed him int z q lavatory.
 Il "There you are" he said. You're i
 luck, young man." he went on. Half
 crown for wearing a new hat for thre
 hours is good pay. You'll be on at |:
 lncrnm IlHKcnn InnuIrrn.