The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-09-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Good luck is the best nerve food.
In at the death-The heir-apparent.
Truth.
A model young lady-Tho one who
poses for an artist.
Jagson says he has no objection to
foreign air if it is disinfected -Elmlra
Gazette.
Antiquity is the thing which we are
going to be thousand years hence. -
Rams Horn.
The woman who vows that she has
waited for an age" never confesses to
it in her years.
Hope is the smiling parsonage who
presents us with bill-of-faro when we
haven't cent in our pocket. Worlds
Fair Puck.
Landlord-"You should always pay
as you go, young man" Impecunious
Boarder-''True, but don't intend to
gofor six monthsyet. Boston Gazette.
"When 1 was young we prepared
students for life; now we prepare them
for examinations" is n bit of truth
AAOH OuuSo NolAuOu' '-uhtulCul htcOIus
If all things come to those who wait,
Then wide must be the range
OF things to como to those who stop
In dry goods stores for change.
Buffalo Courier.
Mr.. Foster ightfst-" "Say let me
have that five loaned you last night,
will you?" Mr.. Spender "Man alive,
I haven't had time to spend it yet. -
Brooklyn Life.
Late revelen singing "Thero's No
Place Like Home" always stop their
melody just before they get there and
creep upstairs in their stocking feet.
Boston Transcripts
He-(maliciously)- 10 only the
female mosquito that annQys people"
She (musingly)-'1 notice that you
take great delight in mashing them"
indianapolis Journal.
Skiggs--"M Must be something inter
esting. What is it?" Skaggs-fLong
account telling how man was robbed
on car" Skiggs-"H "Humph Veg
ner or Pullman ?"--Buffalo Courier.
Charley-"So, Jim, you were .ex-
travagaut enough to pay $40 dozen
for your handkerchiefs. Don't you
think that was good deal of money
to blow in?"-Columbus Spectator.
zone of you boys has been stealing
raisins again; l have found the seeds
on the floor Which one of you was
it?' Tommy-'It wasn't me; 1 swal-
lowed the seeds in mine. Tit
Tommy lat the Fair)-"M Mamma,
what makes all the guards wear straps
under their chins?' Mamma tired
OUT think it is to keep them from
asking questions. Chicago Inter-
Ocean.
He-"What kind of a story did that
tramp trump up TO get his breakfast ?"
She-'None at all. He said he'd seen
good many babies, but our Teddy
was ahead of them all. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Teacher - ''Now, Tommy, if YOU
were a man and had $4,000, and you
wanted to buy house worth SO, 900,
what would you do?" Tommy-'T
guess I'd try and marry some woman
with $4,000. Texas Siftings.
I'm peIBehut Ato lecTulIl - We
told you forty times that you must
stand up Gs straight as if you had swal-
lowed a ramrod. Instead of that you
appear to have swallowed half dozen
Turkish scimitars. Texas Siftings.
He-'Is there anything can do TO
prove my affection 30 that you will not
doubt it?" She-"There is. Marry
my sister. She is older than /, and
mamma is determined to not let me
marry till sister is disposed of. In
journal.
Mr.. WiclSwire-"I notice that Jules
Verne is sixty-six years old and has
written just siXty-six books. Mrs.
Wickwire - "Well, that is not SO
many. He only had TO write at the
rate Of one book IL year TO do that.
journal.
Doctor-"What you need is more
exercise. What business do you fol-
ow?' Patient am bricllayer."
'Humph l should think you would
get a.l the exercise you required, but
your symptoms indicate that You are
If sedentery disposition "WeU,
7ou see, Doctor, l work by the day"
'Ah, that explains it. "--Texas Sift-