Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-08-10
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and JOkelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
Able--The Weeks HumOr.
Let Us All Laugh.


scalp-Dallas News.
SHARP rife picking pock-
ets.-Lowell Courier.
PAYS as he goes-a paymaster on a
railroad. Siftings.
MATURE deliberation--planni to
meet a note. Union County Stand
ard.
THE fat man in the side-show is
lying in wait for his victims.
weston News.
The Scotch are very canny peo
pie, but they are not as can-can-ny
as the French. Boston Courier.
HALF railroad rates to the Fair
would undeniably be a big go with
the people. Philadelphia Times.
APPROPRIATE quotation on enter
ing q BARRIERS shop: Il come not
here to talk. Boston Transcript.
"IsN'T it strange" said little Tom
my to his mother, that a babys lst
9th should come 4th?"-Rocheste
Democrat.
PERHAPS if a pneumatic tire were
put On the dollar Of the dads it
would circulate better. ~-Johnsuown
Democrat.
"IT may be wrong, but I'm laying
for you," as the bird said to the good
little Sunday school boy. cleveland
Plaindealer.
A MAN never discovers how hard
his lot really is until he tries to put
spade into it and make garden. -
Washington Star.
No MATTER how hopeless the future
may be to other men, the good math'
emati sian always has something to
count on. y Troy Press.
AN elevator boys contrariness can't
last very long There are too many
people to call him down il he keeps
it up.-Buffalo Courier
"THEsE trousers are awful short !"
well. you told my collector the other
day that you were awful short your
self. "--Stonington Bulletin.
mine is the business before
pleasure that you heard Of SO much, +"
said the man at the theatrical box
ow.-Philadelphia Record
ICELANDERs, it is recorded, never
whistle. 1t is bard to see why a man
who lives in Iceland should ever feel
like whistling. Washington Star.
GooDMAN-"Are you regular about
church," Badderly-- Every. Pve
stayed away every Sunday for the
last fourteen years. "-Chicago Trib-
une.
UNMIxED evils rarely occur. The
fact that money has been tight is
said to have resulted in a great deal
of sober thought. Ameri-
can.
WHEN child is learning his let
ters it is hard work at first, but after
he gets as far as A, b, Q, ID, it is then
a matter of Els for him.-Rocheste
Democrat.
LANDLoRD--"Yo should always
pay as you 60, young man." lmpe-
cunious Boarder-"True; but don't
intend to go for six months yet.
B ,ston Gazette
STREET CAR CHAT. Miss Blank,
who eloped with the Chinaman, has
returned home" How did her faith
er receive herr" 'Very cOOlie. -
Philadelphia Record.
A MAN will get mad quicker at be-
ing called fool than at any other
term you may use. 1t is probably
because the allegation is so easy to
prove Chester News.
Il AN taking cooking lessons Of
Mrs. Picrust." do you find them
benefcial:" very. / have already
learned how to tell when something's
burned. Chicago Record.
WHEN Fogg was thrown down by
the electric car into the lap Of a dig
nitied old lady he said he now knew
what it was to sit in the seat of the
scornful. Boston Transcript.
THE clearinghouse keeper often
complains of the effort it costs to get
up meal. and her boarders main
tain that it. is more Of an effort to
get it down.-Yonkers Statesman.
"MR. SKYLARK is a very devoted
husband, isn't he?" "HOw dc you
know" well, he engaged type
writer the very day his wife left, so
that he could write her every day. 80
Chicago Inter Ocean.
"YoU made mistake in calling
that drama of yours a play without a
hero" why? 1t hasn't any heroes. !"
"It's chock full OF them. Every man
who braves an audience in play like
that is hero "-Harper's Bazaar.
a SMART GIRL.-Mrs. Newgold-
Observation-Disclosures are not
playing that duet together. One Of
you is a bar ahead Of the other"
Geneyieye (proudly)-"Well, | was
the one that was ahead anyway
Puck.