Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1893-08-19

MN, out llial ne AoFSob that my WlfU
did not allow me TO take things. He
wrung my hand and disappeared into
the night
was very much grieved over my
friends misfortune and came near
writing reproachful letter TO his
wife. But the next mouing he went
away,
Can't send them to youg" she
meekly asked,
NO, sir, | want them now. and l
don't stir a foot till | get them
And he didn't. So you see it was
lucky for me that | didn't write the
letter to his wife.
Whenever he comes over now 1T
night to wake me up and inform me
that this time the break is for good.
that no earthly power can heal the
breach, and all is over at last, l mild
ly inquire why he can't arrange the
final breach in the daytime And the
last time | was SO aggravated that l
dropped to the mOmentary per6dy of a
pun, Look here, old boy" | said
II have heard of wives wearing the
breaches but these breeches must be
wearing the wife, really now
But he only wrung my hand, told me
that ne was a hidden sorrow. but the
world was wide, and then proceeded
as before to 80 out into the night ana
perform his idiot feat of cireing round
the neighborhood and getting over
fnnl.,s nYI s.Iif In M
dow in the morning
lie never succeeded in getting be.
You'd the reach of the velvet paw. But
his intention was good.
My other friend to distinguish him
! will cali him a white mouse suffers
from continual abandonment by his
wife. She has a subtle instinct. which
tells her that he has specially loving
spells She watches these spells com.
ing on and then makes sudden visit
TO her mother My white mouse on
these occasions comes home loaded with
deserted. He storms, knocks over the
umbrella stand, muses. up the toilet
stand, throws the tides on the floor,
kicks the dog and swenrs he win 80
and find the boys and have n good
time
lie never does; he goes obediently in
search of his tyrant to her mothers,
and there he is worried for hours 10y
the two women, who treat him with eN
ira politeness and tell him what a
scheme they have Of going off for a
weeks outing and LETTING him run the
house all by himself When he is
brought to the last limit of endurance
and PUSHES out, declaring that he win
go off himself for a month, his torment
or returns home and waits for him as
demurely as Il she had never been out
Of the house,
The exercise Of this kind of power
is womnn's prerogatiyc II she
doesn't torment you she doesn't tone
You,
Both Of my mice have evolved n
theory that n man should never give
up his natural rufiianism If he wants
to have his own way with Il woman.
They always say Shakespeare knew
how to get along with women. All
what a head he had, my boy; he Great
ed PctIuchio. Women respect rullians;
men who wreck things, who have
spasms that it is not polite TO bring on,
in which they knock down their wives
and kick the furniture to pieces
/ call this the mouse theory.
II doesn't work.
In The first place. any exhibition of
that kind conyinces the cat that YOU
have coarse organization and cannot
suffer keenly, Tie moment She dis
covers that fact she loses interest in
you. she thinks that her ideal will
set up another one with finer sus-
capabilities.
In the second place she is apt 10
refer somewhere TO your career with an
angel voice that it must be fun to have
the furniture three times over.
! know Of one Of these creatures, who
conceived the purely feminine iniquity
of instigating her spouse to strike her,
Just for the exquisite delight of going
about afterward with black eye and
eAlthsHS iiit hAitlt VI iflAlViHI NV ttii'
in her sweetest manner
That win explain to you why the
wives who appear in the police court
against the wifebeaters always beg
the Judge TO let them off
Good heavens, You don't suppose
they would willingly give up the eX-
quislte delight Of making the men suf-
fer for it, to the Judge, do youf
No, no, my boy; women are not in
QUESTIONS who use thumb-screws and
try 10 convert people, They are delici-
Gus little Neros who want 10 sit on an
ivory throne and enjoy suffering for
the fun of it. Men who deceive and
abandon women arc wild beasts.
Women who coax men to fail in love
with them, so that they can torture
them as esthetes, and they must be
pardoned because they are not thinking
Of the suffering they intlct, only Of the
satisfaction they receive.
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THOMAS PLAYERS DISCHARGED
The Grand Orchestra No Longer NJ