The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-02-02
PUNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

-tielding-"Why do you think Phil
lips will enjoy all the stupid jokes in
the play tonight" Johnson-"Becausa
he's perfectly deaf Inter Ocean.
-"Pll be awful glad when paw
swears on smokin' again, said Tommy.
''This is the fourth lickin' I've got in
three days indianapolis Journal
What made the jury render a yer.
dict so quickly?" swell, you see, one
of the jurors began to tell us about the
bright sayings of his five-year-old boy. 3"
-Tit-Bits
-Gazzam-'Old Soak is one of the
most inveterate gamblers ever saw
Hazzam-"You are right. Why, when
he is alone he plays solitaire for the
drinks IN. Y. Heruld.
Why, John, what is that awful
spot on your coat?" asked the bride, as
the carriage rolled off. my hated
rival couldn't find any rice to throw at
me, said John, 80 he pelted me with
some cold oatmeal mush. "-Harper's
Bazaar
The Big Sister-''Tommy, what do
you mean by shifting at Mr. Slopay's
overcoat?" The Little Brother-"Fth
tryin' to thmell thmol1e. When pa
thaw it he thaid the muth been a fire
thomewhere. "-Clothier's Weekly.
After the Play.-"And weren't you
glad when the villain was killed."
mo wasn't But | would have been
glad If all the others had been killed.
The. villain was the only good actor in
the piece IN. Y. Press.
| .sssJings-"There are supposed to be
about 400, 900, 600 Christians in the
world" Bings-"It may be, but when
any scandal attaches itself to your
name it is mighty hard to believe it,
N. Y Press
-ticnic Scene. Laura Ito her cousin
who has just kissed hero, Rudolf,
we aN lost There is Mr. Miller "
Rudolf Never mind him, he is a
harmless, fellow Laura-''Iie was;
but now he is an amateur photogra-
pher "-Flhgende Batter
You are overcharging me-" she
said to the cab driver. Nom, amt"
he protested But it hasn't taken me
two hours I'd ma Ike that call" Nom;
but We see, na'am, the company COM
pels us to count in the time we spend
saying good BY = Washington Star.
-Daughtef-''There is only one thing
more aston is hing than the readiness
with which Ned gave up tobacco when
we bacame engaged" Mother-"What
is that astonishing thing?' Daughter
THE rapidity with which he took it ur
again after we were married. Tit Bits.
is the whole always equal to the
sum of ali its parts? A German beggar
thought it doubtful. Here l am" he
| said, as he looked at himself in pocket
mirror; here am wearing the boots OF
bank manager, the trousers of q
landed proprietorAa baron's coat and
vest, and a counts hat, and in spite OF
| it all, look like tramp
-Wife-'Herr Zartheimer is a charm
ing man. just fancy, he has been mar.
ried fifteen years, and only yesterday,
| when speaking to me about his wife, he
called her an angel!" Husband-"It is
very possible that she is an angel now;
don't you know that she died twelve
months ago?'-Schweizer Handles.
Courier
| Anxious Inquirer-"But why are
you SO strongly opposed to convict la.
! borY Mr.. Y. r. Puller-"My dear sir
Unjust look out for the interests of my
constituents. Scores of them are liable
to be jagged any day, and ! don't be
lieve they would be more likely to enjoy
labor inside the walls of prison than
| thew do outside r-Roston Trapscrint