Evening journal., 1893-04-19
A TALK ON BILLINGS.
MRS. MAX GIVES HER IDEAS ON SIN
GLE AND MARRIED MEN.

when our regiment was stationed in !
Ban Francisco. some years before resigned /
10 assume the slightly impersonal, though /
altogether comfortable, character Of the
husband Of Mrs. Max. knew fellow out
there named Arthur MclEwen. who wrote
things
The major paused TO give his undivided |
attention to a sandwich he had constructed /
OF half walnut and an almond, interlaid
with plump raisin.
Has he, that man you speak OF, come 70 /
New York;" asked Mrs. Max, with slightly |
anxious brow.
Some Of the majors western friends are a |
trial to his wife, for she finds difficulty in
adjusting her placid ideas to the degree OF
breeziness she observes In their view Of
things
"No," answered the emaior "McEwen, |
regret to say, is not here. But ] was re
minded Of him to-day by talk had with J
western artist. Mac, you know-I think /
have mentioned IL TO you-is the author
Of that charming book, now out OF print
How to BE Esteemed, Though Witty
What recalled him to mind today was n
remark made by my Western artist, that
he proposed TO write book entitled How
to BE Appreciated, Though Western"
Mrs. Max was silent for some time, hold
ing her glass Of wine against the light so
that it reflected a dancing ruby on her bare
arm, before she announced seriously;
Il do not think your friend, the writer,
could have been In earnest, for he must
have known that really nice people never
are witty. Perhaps he was only Joking so
many Of those western people seem TO be
jokcrs, though whatever they do that for
don't know, I'm sure"
NNaI ny no r-ffrl.f Ina. aut1 a..
major judicially, "although ! am not so
sure as you are. Perhaps McEwen holds
the theory that wit is not an accomplish
ment, but failing lie may have been ac-
tuated in writing his book by the exalted
though seemingly hopeless purpose OF the
distinguished author Of that recent work,
How to BE Healthy, Though Sick But
you never can tell about those westerners."
~ should think not" exclaimed Mrs.
Max decidedly. "There Is that Bob Bill
Ings. He does say the most foolish things
sometimes He told Mrs. Jack Daring the
other day that he expected to be ordered
back soon TO his regiment on the frontier,
although he hoped 20 have been assigned to
some nice duty here or in Washington. His
only chance now, he said, was in getting in
terviewed in the papers about his change in
politics.
"What you say" remarked the major,
crushing walnut into fat mass with the
nut cracker, proves that Bob has been out
west too long to retain that degree of re-
spect for political phenomena which should
always mark the officer and gentleman who
longs for soft assignments. / shall send
Bob my copy of How to BE Esteemed,
Though Witty"
"Do you know" said Mrs Max I'm a tone
which she adopts to denote her opinion that
the major Il talking unenlightened stuff
"do you know that Bob Billings needs
only wife to make him a very acceptable
man
But would he not prove himself accept
able II he proved that he could get wifeP"
Pm sure don't see how. Bachelors Of
his age can never be popular with more
than one woman at time Nobody wants
always to be meeting a man who is likely
to be very much in love with some other
woman
If rightly follow all the subtleties Of
your roasonings, madam, an unmarried
man Is pretty sure to be in love with some
woman, and married man is pretty sure
not TO be-"
why. Of course. That's what makes
the unmarried ones not NIECE
yet IL has been said that all the world
loves a lover"
"Well, whoever said that meant young
lover. They don't count. don't you seefn
II am slowly beginning TO see. lt is be-
cause Bob has reached an age when he
does count as a lover that, IL he Is sensible
Of the advantages of being popular. he
should forthwith put himself out Of dan
ger Of being in love by getting married.
Mrs Max allowed the major TO an her
glass, and thoughtfully slipped her bur
gundy before she answered
That's not exactly it, major, and don't
suppose that you could exactly understand.
being only man. Society is made and
managed by married women. They want
the men they see the most Of in society to
be free 10 admire any of them more than
man In love with some one else could don't
you seei How could man who is not
married do that and still be nice, don't you
know It's very stupid Of you not to sec
what mean.n
But / am merely man. However, is
It like thisY Bob-I use this name as me is
the horrible oxample-being bachelor
and past the age when he can be loved by
all the world merely for being IN love, Is I'm
danger OF becoming socially Objectionable
because he cannot adopt that catholicity of
affection which, TO my infinite delight, You
assure me society approves ia a married
man."
81 never said anything about affection,
major. Nobody wants anybody's affection
except his wife. An lanybody wants is that
the man she meets shall be just as free Ia
admire her as anybody else. And he must
understand the kind of admiration that is
wanted. A married man knows that. It's
about all they do learn by getting married
and it's little enough sacrifice 20 make fol
the sake of being endurable, I'm sure"
Al last, madam great light breaks IN
upon my masculine understanding Mat
rmony, as you have so lucidly explained
Is the process Of refining aud education
which develops man from puny plant
dwarled and stunted by the chill air and
nieager soil of bachelorhood, into a hun
dred-leafed rose that sheds the favor Of III
perfume and the sweetness and light of itl
full bloom culture upon ell who coml
within the circle Of It's radiance
Burgundy always makes you talk non
sense, major. What ] mean is that II Mrs
jack Daring would only leave Bob Billing
alone ! could marry him oil inside Of a yea
toa girl who has money enough for him q
retire from the army on. Then one coul