The Opelousas courier., 1893-05-06
RUMOR OF IL DAY.
Dust-proof-A handbook.
In at the death-The heirs.

In at the death-lhe helrs.
A dog star-The prize setter.
Tough characters - Hieroglyphics.-
Puck.
- The crinoline is coming with a hoop
and a ~hurrah. Star.
emo, Maud. dear, Joan of Arc was
not Noab's wife. "-Philadelphia Record.
The greatest part of a self-willed mans
estate usually goes to the lawyers.-Troy
Press.
The newspaper man is the great
writer of the peoples wrougs.-Gatves-
ton News.
The pen enables a young man to give
hi6 girl an inkling of his sentiments
Texas siftings.
There is some hope that the fashion
magnates will stave off the hoop-sklrtS.
Lowell Courier.
To one travelling through the country
milestones are pretty good signs of pro-
gress.-Troy Press.
When you see a boy unable to behave
himself you should lend a helping hand.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Every dog has his day, but the nights
belong to the cats and the clupmen.-
Kate Fields Washington.
"Gee, that was a cold snap as the
bulldog remarked after biting the Bos-
ton girl.-Philadelphia Record.
"It is pretty hard to be showed to the
wall this way" plaintively remarked the
bill to the bill poster. WASH
Star.
The mother who starts to get a sleepy
boy out of bed these mornings may he
said to have a rouslng time OF it.-PAlla-
delphia Times.
Citticus--"I wonder how it is that so
few women SHUTTER when they taIk?"
Witticus-"They haven't got time
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. New Lee Wed-''You are a fail
ure, John. You've never had any luck
Mr.. New Lee Wed--"Yes, once; [ was
born single. "-Brooklyn Life.
"You needn't assume that am holier
than thou air." growled the Rochefort
to the Schweitzer; Everybody knows
you are not up to my tone. Puck.
"Why did Columbus forgive the mu,
tineers?" asked the teacher. "'Cause
they was half seas over when they
kicked" said johnnie .-BroklYn Life
"Pm a JONAH" said the urchin,
With a m4st expressive wall,
"Aud | sae ~ fathers manner,
I'm abo TO meet a whale
81 think" murmured the haudcutfed
convict, "that l must be a poor finan-
cier, for l Rave more bonds ON hand
than can manage baltimore Amer
ican.
The two most exciting periods IN a
woman's life are when she is listening to
her first proposal and bidding On a bas-
ket of broken crockery at an AUCTION
Siftings.
"Were you IN perfect health when you
were struck by the street cara" asked
the lawyer. "No, sir" said the plain
tiff, II was a good deal u down.
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Mrs. Goodkind-"There's only one
trouble about poor Mr.. Careless. He's
generous to a fault" MI. Grutf-
HHumph! It's a pity that he isn't gen
erous to his family. Black and White
In '97: Mistress Ito her maid of all
work)-sEMlss Mulloney, the fire is get
ting low; will you be kind enough to go
to nv room and bring me three pieces
of coal from my jewel ase."-ELmlra
Gazette.
Making the Best of It: "Good morn
ing. Uncle Charles. Did you Steep WE'LL
I'm afraid your bed was rather hard and
uneven but" ooh, it was all right,
thanks. / got up now and then during
the night and rested q bit, you know"
Punch.
Aboriginal America, in the person OF
a Sioux squaw, is to show its Ideas on
dress at the Worlds Fair. She live;
near San Diego, CAL, and has been al
work for two years making this gown 81
deerskins embroidered with sixteen
pounds of beads.
"Could you give me something to eat,
ma'am2" humbly asked the tramp in tat
suburbs of Boston Of the stern visaget
woman who opened the kitchen door,
eyes" said the stern visaged woman
as she theoretically closed the door II
mis- face and locked it with a jerN. ~
could. "-Somerville Journal.
One of the richest specimens of a nea'
! Irish bull was perpetrated by the clever
and witty but laundering Irish knight,
SIR Richard Steele, when inviting al
English nobleman to visit him. "lf
sir" said he, s'you ever come within
mile of my house, l hope you will stoI
there" Insurance Economist.