Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1893-03-24
PITH AND POINT.
Shooting irons-AIetoors.

A far-seeing man-Thc astronomer.
A drawer Of watcr-Thc marine artist.
Truth.
When bicycl;st goes at top speed no
calls it spin.-Quips.
When man becomes ia big gun" We
always expect good reports Of him.
1t is queer that man becomes most
nervous when he has lost his nerve.
Musical bars are no barriers to the
| man who "broaks out in song. "-Bos-
ton Courier.
1t is impossible for anybody to have
too many Of the necessaries Of lile.-
Galveston News.
When man is sick ho takes melan,
choly enjoyment in looking at his tongue.
-Atchison Globe.
Whom man has boil he is in posi-,
ton to keep his family in hot water
Binghamton Leader.
Why need the wild sea waves lash tho
shore2 There's no danger of tho shore
getting away.-Truth.
You may jocularly tell man he's
Tyre, but it isn't wise to harp on it too
Tho man who crects large building
OH very small lot does SO because he is
short-sited Rochester Democrat.
a pessimist likes thing he can't en-
joy, and an optimist enjoys thing he
can't likc.-Tennessee Twinklings.
"There's time to work and time
to play" but to the hand organ grinder
both times come at once.-Rochestcr
Democrat.
"Your speech is rather sharp, I think"
complained Mrs. Hawkins. ar have to
mako it SO to get it in edgowisc," re-
torted Hawkins.
First Disputant-"Then I'm liar9"
Second Ditto-"On the contrary, my
dear fellow, you have just spoken the
truth. '-Tid-B Bits.
'Do you believe in corporal punish,
ment for stupid school childrenl" eyes,
spanking always makes 'cm smart."-
Philadelphia Record.
The Parvenu-"Are you fond OF
bcllos-lettrcs2" The Cbump-"Bollo
Lettcrsa Don't know. Never met her."
Chicago News Record.
SnoeZe, sneeZe, sneeze,
There is no way to help it, YOU sac
For grip" has funded once more
In the nome of the brave AMI tho frea
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Making Sure. She-"Then you'll
take me Tor drive on Thursday2" He
eyes; but suppose it rains3" She
"Come the day before, then. Brooklyn
Life.
Col. Umbus-"If you knew America
was beastly tefore you left England
whatever induced you to come overt"
j. Taurus-"oh, simply to verify my
suspicious"
Miggs-"Why do you suppose it is
considered bad luck to open an umbrella
in the housed" Milton-.I suppose
there is danger OF disclosing the owners
name. Inter Ocean.
The times when policy of dignified
silence would unques tionably do a man
the best service are the very times when
dignilied silence is particularly hard to
kecp.-Somervills Journal.
Farmers Wiio-"Why don't you 90
to work2" Tramp--"I would If had
the tools" farmers Wife," What sort
of tuols do you want?" Tramp-"Knite
und fork. "-Texus Siftings.
Hownow-"Do you find the book in.
teresting2" Mrs. Tangletongue-"Oh,
very" Hownow-"Who is the author2'
Mrs. Taugletonguc-"Oh, nis namc isn't
given; it is published unanimously
Boston Courier.
Tommy Cabbage Cat the Sunday din>
ror toblal Tiil;n-haoa 800. i'll
ting at church this morning." Mrs.
Cabbage (shockcd)- What on earth
was she knitting in church2" Tommy
"Hcr brows." Judge.
Lawyer-"So you have had this
stolen ring from babyhood. Pray,
what is your age2" Tho Court-"Thc
question is impairment The lady need
not answer" Lawyer-t.We how
long have you owned the ring2"-Jcwel-
crs' Weekly.
Maud-'I don't see you at DIR. Flips-
ley's church any more" BIadge-"No;
the colors the sun throws through those
new staincd.glass windows were too try
ing to my complexion, so 1 was obliged
to sever my connection with the church."
Brooklyn Eagle.
She Sitting down)-"I see you ERE
not regular traveller on these suburban
trains" He standing up)-"rhat is
true. How do you know2" "You gave
me your seat" "And you, madam,
pardon me, arc not regular traveller on
suburban trains either" .tAh. how did
you guess that2" "You thanked me. -
Chicago Tribune.