davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-06-17
ELI on THE CHINESE.
He Delivers q Free Lecture to an Gin.
dppendent'' Man,


Helena Mont, independently
Eli Perkins Melville D. Landon)
passed through Helena yesterday on
his way to Townsend. where he will
lecture tonight. After visiting the
Chinese quarter and the Montana
Club with M. E. w. knight, the
humorist, who spent last summer in
China, was asked what he thought of
the Chinese certificate question.
"Why, had to get . passport or
certificate in China last summer when
l went into the interior. One of our
party, who went TO Han Kow with US,
having neglected to get a certificate,
was arrested and sent back to ShauR.
hal. The Chinese refuse to do here
what Americans have to do in China. :"
"Suppose China should retaliate?"
"She couldn't. All Americans
there have certificates, There is no
just ground for retaliation. Then
China has no especial commerce with
the United States. Her big sea ports,
Shanghai and Hong Kong, are held
by the Eoglisa. They have harbor
masters and full jurisdiction over
American trade in big cities. Our
commerce With China is with English
men and Americans, not with China.
men. We needed Chinese silk, tea
and rioe once, when Japan was a
closed port. Now that Japan is open
she sends US better and cheaper tea
and silk than China. We do not need
Chinese opium. China could hurt
herself, but not US. There are 1000
Japanese laborers on the coast now.
They are docile, clean, honest and
glad to become Christians. Chris
tianity has been licensed in Japan,
but never in China. The Chinese
hato the mission ariee, while the Jap.
anese like them. Japanese can take
the place of every Chinaman on the
coast, and will If we give them a
chance. They are in the Sandwich
islands $4,000 strong and have jus,
commenced coming here. There are
1900 of them on the Union Pacific
now"
ibid you see any fun in Chins?'
was asked.
Eyes," said Eli, my wife engaged
q Chinese cook in Shanghai. Wher
he came she inquired his name.
"'My nance Wong Hang How,
l,sped the Chinaman.
"'Oh, l cau't remember all tina
lingo said my wife. Il will call 20,
John.'
| "The next morning when the celes
tial came be asked my wife what he
name was.
"'My name,' said my wife YER
slowly, is Mrs. Melville u. Lanion.'
"'My no can 'membel ell Ia
namee,' said John. My call 20
, Tommy"
Mr.. Perkins said lie was simpl
rushing through from the coast in
great hurry. 81 ain in about as bi
a hurry" he said, "as old Deaoo
, Marvin Brewster was over in Co
> necticut."
! "How much of hurry was he in?
; swell, old Deacon Brewster was q
, ways in a hurry. One day when h
, made up his mind to get married h
. rode over to Widow Monson's far
. in yellow buggy, hustled into tn
s house right 10 the middle of dim.
r and gasped:
+ "'Widder Jenkins, I'm a man {
/. business. l am worth *10,SOO an
!. want you for a wife. give you jul
r three minutes to answer
n "'I don't want ten seconds, oil
y man, she replied, as she shook o,
r the disholoth. sI'm woman
= business, worth $4,000, and
4 wouldn't marry you if you were Il
k last man on earth! l give you 70,
e seconds to git!'"
It And then the Independent man LEI
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-06-17

XYANTED-Permanent ONCE assistant; either
wv sex; salary $3.50. Railway fare paid to
once. Enclose self.sddressed stamped envelope
IL. JONES, sec'y, San Francisco, Cal
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-06-17
Head ache

Usually results from deranged stomach or
sluggish liver. In either case, an apericnt
is needed. Ayers Pills, the mildest and
most reliable cathartic in use, correct all
Irregularities Of the stomach. liver, and
bowels, and, in brief time, relieve the
most distressing headache. These pills are
highly recommended by the profession, and
the demand for them is universal.
~ have been afflicted, for years, with
headache and Indigestion, and though I
spent nearly fortune in medicines, never
found any relief until began to take Ayers
Pills. Six bottles Of these Pills completely
cured me-" Benjamin Harper, Plymouth,
Montserrat, w. l.
"a long sufferer from headache, I was
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-06-17
G. A. R. NOTICE!

We take this opportunity OF in.
forming our subscribers that the new
Commissioner of Pensions has been
appointed. He is an old soldier, and
we believe that soldiers and their heirs
will receive justice at his hands. We
do not anticipate that there will be
any radical changes in the adminis>
tration of pension affairs under the
new regime.
We would advise, however, that
U. S. soldiers, sailors, and their heirs,
take steps to mako application at
once, ii they have not already done
so, in order to secure the benefit Of
the early fling of their claims in casa
there should be any future pension
legislation. Such legislation is SELL
dom retroactive. Therefore it is of
great Importance that applications be-
filed in the department at the earliest
possible date.
If U. S. SOLDIERS, SAILORS, OR
THEIR WIDOWS, CHILDREN, OR Pa
RENTS desire information in regard
to pension matters, they should write
to THE PRESS CLAIMS COMPANY, AT
WASHINGTON, D. c., and they will
prepare and send the necessary app
plication. If they find them entitled
under the numerous laws enacted for
their benefit.
ADDRESS
! PRESS CLAIMS COMPANY,
John Weddsrburn, Managing Attorney
| WASHINGTON, ID. G.
p. O. Box $50.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
DESTROYED BY FIRE,

Saturday morning about one o'clock
and alarm of fire was sounded, and it
was soon located at the planning mill
of Charles Krug, situated below the
ID. l.. & W. railroad and fronting on
Seventh street. When discovered the
fire had already spread over a large
portion of the building, which being
frame with tin roof, burned rapidly.
When the fire companies arrived they
could do nothing toward saving the
building, as it was already nearly de
stroyed, and the flames spread to the
office and hardware room and agricul-
tural building of H. V White & Co.
The tiremen directed their attention
to the grain elevator and mill and
storage room of H. V. White & Co.
The roof beng shingle soon caught
fire, as well as the sides of the build
but by dlligent efforts the building
was saved, but the water played havoc
with the contents, Of wheat, flour,
meals and fertilizers. Charles Krug's
was a total loss OF about 10000, with
out any insurance. H. V. White &
Co. lost in their Office, hardware, agri-
cultural implements, about $4,000.
In their grain house the wheat, about
5000 bushels, and rye, about 500
bushels, was completely soaked, as
we'll also a car load of flour. About
two tons of binder twine and all their
sacks were destroyed. Their total
loss will reach about $1,000, covered
by an insurance of $4,000. The
origin of the fire is a mystery. For
some days past Mr.. Krug had been
running the mill at its full capacity on
special contract for doors, and it
may be possible some journal became
overheated.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
BUTLER-HARMAN.

Miss Grace, daughter OF Mr.. and Mrs.
p. S. Harman, and Mr.. Daniel Butler
were married in St. Paups Church on
Tuesday morning at nine o'clock, the
rector, Rev. w. c. Leverett, officiat-
ing. The chancel was beautifully
decorated with flowers. No invitations
had been issued, but it was understood
that any of their friends were welcome
to witness the ceremony, and goodly
number were present. Miss Eta Gel
ger was maid of honor, and J. Lee
Harman was best man. Freeze Quick
and Daniel Butler Jr., served as ush-
ers.
In the absence of the organist, who
was called to Wyoming county, on
business, Miss Maud Runyan, organ
ist of the Presbyterian Church, played
the wedding marches After the cere
mony quiet reception was held at the
home of the brides parents. on Iron
street, which was attended by the fam
lies and relatives. We extend con-
gratulations, and wish Mr. and Mrs.
Butler long and happy life.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

waiter that set all the glasses and
croclery on the pantry shelves to
jingling in unison.
\ family alteration was in ener-
getic progress. The guests looked at
each other and the hostess tried to
chatter it down. But no one human
throat was powerful enough for that.
"Scnd up them tomattuses.'
Il tell you they ain't none"
They is, Miss Maria says they is.'
Il tell you they amt, you ole black
fool you," the voice was that of the
cook. Il dun forgot to open EN-, |
dun tell You. If YOU doan b'lieve me
use your own eyes, you ole country
niggah in Maw's JGwns pahty close,
Il looliin' like scarccrow in Il Gavin
iicl. Now look
The waiter came up with bang.
All was still. Jupiter was doubtless
docking" Presently the guests
looked too. He appeared upon the
scene with an unopened can, glowing
with a gorgeous label, in either hand.
BEG pawdon, Miss Maria, but that
OLE" He got no further. There had
been a swish of skirts on the stairs.
Fanny dartcd across the room, pcahed
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

him to drop the dish on the sideboard
with bang. Presently he barely
Crazed the minister's head with the
turkey platter. Feeling that energy
might compensate for the vacuity eX-
listing in his mind, Jupiter proceeded to
ply every one with the dishes on the
table. Sailed almonds and bonbons
carcercd about the board with light
ming rapidity. He even grasped the
macaroonS again, but a sudden mis-
trust seemed to seize him and he
dropped the dish. He was breathing
heavily and each moment his unwonted
apparel seemed to grow smaller for
him.
The hostess strovc bravely to appear
as if this was daily occurrence in every
well regulated household, and that a
stream of gravy extending across the
cloth and down breadth of her best
gown was merely an adjunct of
Thanksgiving. The host forgot all the
speeches he had intended to make in
praise of the president-elcct and all the
subtle antennae of diplomacy that he
was going to put forth to the minister
only feel rather than see, for he scarce
dared look up. That Mr.. de Post and
the executive-elect's cousin were stor-
ing a fund of anecdote that would re-
gale many dinner table-he had
caught sufficient of their exchange OF
| glanccs to rest assured Of
AS for the minister, his kindness of
heart was as proverbial as was his
sense Of humor. If he laughed rather
more heartily at his own stories than
was his wont both host and hostess
We're thankful to him for diverting
some small degree of attention from
! Jupiters aimless and comical gyrations.
Jupiter, you have not served the
| tomatoes" said Mrs Grimm. Mr..
Grimm felt the perspiration start out on
! the back of his neck; he was wondering
what new catastrophe was in store.
| As for Jupiter, he smiled blandly. Here
at least was something he could engi'
neer. ''romattuses," he ordered OF
Fanny. a great whispering cnsued,
| then came a pounding on the dumb
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

been elected and would take his seat
the following March. The minister of
the church they attended was also the
pastor and intimate friend of his ex-
ccllency-elect, and it seemed very
fitting and auspicious that he, together
with his wife, should be honored
guests, There was, also, certain dis
tant cousin of the successful candidate,
very pompous old lady with ter
rible prediction for her neighbor's
affairs, whom it was considered wise
to ask. and to entertain her there was
yoIng Mr.. de Post, who led cotillons
and gossip with equal facility.
While Mrs. Grimm had very pretty
glass and china, in keeping with the
rest of her modest establishment. il
did not seem grand enough for such a
distinguished and critical company, so
she borrowed her mothers service,
from the silver soup tureen to the nut
! crackers.
This plan was readily feasible. as her
parents took dinner with an elder sis
ter upon that day. No sooner was this
arrangement completed than it seemed
very out of place to let Fanny, the col
| ored maid, wait at table with such ac-
companying magnificence-they ought
to have a butler. They got one in the
| person of Fanny's father. who had come
up from Manassas Junction to spend
| the day with his family, and that was
| where the trouble began.
He was an eminently respectable old
man. and when he had gotten himself.
after much groaning and the assist
ance of his wife, the cook, into an old
dress suit of Mr.. Grimms, he looked as
if he knew the proper thing to do,
which was far from the case, His wife
had been doubtful from the first. "lle
kin drive a l<crrige jest lovely. Miss
| Maria" she said. but he doan know
nuthin' bout waitin.''
But Fanny can drill him." Miss
Maria had said, airily, as she set out tc
Thanksgiving services in company witt
her husband.
Fanny. dressed in new gown ano
with n huge white cap on her very
black head. admitted the guests with &
| gravity of countcnance that woulo
have betitted a servitor of fifty years
Fanny had woeful misgivings. Jupiter
her father, had not proven very ap'
pupil. He asked many strange ques
tions after he had insisted that he un
derstood everything. The butler
pantry was too small to hold then
both or she would have remained by
her parent during the ordeal; but she
stationed herself at the foot of the
dumb waiter to admonish in stage
whispers If necessary.
Jupiter wiped the perspiration from
hi, brow with red bandanna and car
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
NO 80
BRIEF MENTION.
About People You Know.

Mrs. w. S. Rishton is visiting her
mother in Philadelphia.
John A. Garman, District Attorney
Of Luzerne county, was IN town on
Wednesday.
DR.. !. Bruce Hess mas located in
Benton, and occupies the Office of the
late Or. G. S. O'Brien. He is a gradu-
ate Of Jefferson Medical College.
a. c. Freas, Esq, has moved from
Bloomsburg to Wilkes Barre, where
he is engaged in the life and accident
insurance business.
Messrs. Ratti, Oswald. Yorks and
Hartzell, form a quartet of equestri-
ans who have been taking long rides
on horseback recently.
DR.. d. ]. Waller, Jr., of Indiana
Normal School, and DR.. Geo. p. Wal
Ter, of Nebraska, are both at home,
having been called here by the serious
illness of their father Dr. George P.
Waller reached Northumberland on
Sunday, and drove up from there, as
no trains were running
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

They were very young couple; thai
accounted for it largely, and while the
affair was certainly ludicrous it was
not without a touch of pathos. They
both declare that they have better
sense now, and that tho like, with
them at least, shall never occur again,
so thcre ci.u scarcely be any harm in
telling all about il.
When they went to housekeeping in
n modest way in a fashionable street
in the national capital rents were not
so high as they are now. They had
many friends, some of them very
wealthy ones, and, as her entire life
had been spent in Washington, she felt
that a change from single To- double
blessedness would not alter things ma
terially.
While the streets and her friends re-
mained unchanged there was certain
indefinable something that shaped it.
self presently-she could not entertain
as she had been used to in her fathers
house: neither on such scale, nor
With such lavish hospitality.
She fretted little, at first quietly,
shSi Sht cOuHucu itI NoCo W iiNi 'i"'
band, for she told him everything. and
he, good fellow, took it very much TO
heart.
Being a lawyer without cay consid-
erablc practice, for he was young
man in his profession, he did not see
his way ont of it in that direction. But
the idea suddenly struck him that he
would try to get some kind of an OF,
hcial position. They had influential
friends in the political world, and it
appeared quite clear sailing.
The plan met with his wife's prompt
approval and size concluded on the spot
to begin the siege by giving Il Thanks
giving dinner. Some people might
have thought 1t wiser to first get the
desired position and then give thanks
but she looked upon it differently
from the point of view of the almanac
as 1t were.
presidential candidate had just
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
NUMBER BLOOMSBURY. Pa THURSDAY. NOVEMBER 80. 1893

her surprised parent into the pantry
and turned the key. With an air of
elaborate Indifference as though moth
ing had happened to mar the oc-
casion, She removed the plates and
the dinner progressed. From the
depths of the pantry could be heard
the wailing of Jupiter: "If | KANT
wait I'm pow'ful at drivin' an IL amt
no erthly use tryin to appeah what
you amt. Ole Miss dun say There
was "A pcrcmptory command from below
20 "comc down this minnit," great
crcalting of the waiter and Jupiter
had descended on the vehicle of his
woe.
Mr.. Grimm looked at his wife and
she in turn looked at him. Between
them extended massive cpergnc of
silver weighted with fruit and flowers;
tall candelabras and dainty bon-bon
dishes, strangely out OF keeping with
the furniture and the tiny dining-room.
There was look in his eyes that light
ened things. though, and the verge of
tearfulness was banished. Aitcr, how
ever, when the guests were gone and
she had had Il good cry in his arms, she
said: John, Jupiter was right. We
have no business trying to appear
what we are not, and whether we get
the position or whether we're never n
cent richer, I've that good lesson to be
thankful for to-day and for the rest Of
my life"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
ST. PAUL'S PARISH NOTES.

The ladies of St, Pauls congrega.
tion will hold Bazaar in the Parish
House on December r4th, when they
will offer for sale a large number OF
articles, many OF which will be suitable
for Christmas gifts. A lunch will be
served the same day. If necessary
the sale will continue another day,
All those who have articles of any
description TOR the Bazaar are request
ed to send them to the Parish House
on Wednesday, December 9th.
Next Sunday evening the Advent
service OF the Sunday School will be
held in the church at 7 o'clock.
The Wednesday evening service and
lecture will DE resumed next week, at
1880 in the Parish House.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
ADJOURNED COURT.

Pursuant to adjournment Court
convened last Saturday afternoon at
two o'clock, President Judge keller
and Associate Millard on the bench.
On motion of plaintiffs counsel
the hearing in the matter of the bill
in equity Of the B. * S. r. X. Co
al , was continued.
The hotel license of ID. l.. Hustled,
in Sugarloaf, was transferred to 10
seph Carpenter.
II. O. Stine VS.. H. w. Smith,
habeas corpus. Defendant was ar
rested by plaintiff on charge of for
gerry. He was held in $500 bail for
his appearance at Court.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

w. H. Slate took possession of the
stationery store of w. H. Brooke &
Co. on Monday. Mr.. Slate is young
man Of experience, and while he is al
most a stranger here, he comes from
Willamsport with the very highest
references He will continue the bus.
mess at the well-known stand in the
Exchange Hotel building, and pur-
poses making many additions and i'm
provements.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

A man driving douole team down
Third street Tuesday morning met
with an accident that might have been
even more serious. In crossing the
deep gutter at the Intersection of
Centre street, the axle OF the front
broke through the centre and wheels
were only held by the platform springs
He had a young team, but succeeded
in stopping them. The crossing is
the most dangerous one in the town,
and should be repaired at once. There
may yet be some loss Of life by some
one being thrown out or a run ,way
caused
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

Notification of the change in the
form of pos;office money orders has
just been sent out by the postoffice
department. This introduces into the
order the name of the payee, and
makes the order negotiable like bank
check. The new forms will be sent
to al post offices as rapidly as the old
ones which they now have are used
up.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

The MOnto,r american, published
at Danvile, was sold by the executor
Monday, November goth. The name
of the purchaser has not yet been
made known ; but the paper is issued
regularly and publishers will be an
nounced later.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30
BALL AND VENIsON SUPPER.

On Christmas night, December asth,
J. Boyd McHenry, the genial landlord
of the McHenry House, at Benton,
will give grand ball and venison sup
per. 1t will be great event.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

Hon. Geo. R. Vending will deliver
lecture in the Normal Auditorium
on Monday evening, December 4th,
subject, "The Man of Galiee.' This
is the second entertainment in the
Normal Lecture Course. Tickets can
be procured at B,ooke & Cos. book
store. or at the door.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

A change in time OF some Of the
trains on the d. L. & w. Railroad
was made last Monday, viz: 6:2o P.
m. train north to 6:5o. and the S:IS p.
m. train south to $3.50.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

w. II. Brooke & Company went
out of business on Monday. For a
number of years Mr.. Brooke has had
active charge of the business, and he
was uniformly courteous and obliging
to all his customers. He has not yet
determined his future course, but it is
to be hoped that he will remain in
BloomSburg, as the departure OF such
man and such family as his, would
be loss to any community.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

The investigating committee ap-
pointed to inquire into the matter
concerning the rumors relative to.
County Superintendent Johnston, had
a session last Saturday, but on accoun.
of the absence of DR.. McCrea, who
was called on professional service, no.
action was taken, further than consid-
ering some preliminary matters, neces
sary for a subsequent meeting. A
meeting OF the committee will be held
Saturday, December and, at o'clock
in the afternoon.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

The apparatus for the gymnasium,
at the Normal, was received this week,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

ried the silver tureen. With the en-
ception that he put his thumb in Mr. dc
Posts soup and then wiped it dry with
his bandanna, that portion OF the BAN
ouct progressed favorably. But when
the raw oysters were served he took
plate of macaroons from the side
board. and, doubtless mistaking them
for a new variety of crackers, gravely
offered them. The hostess flushed vio-
leAtly and tried to distract attention
from her husband who, though he SAID
only few words to Jupiter had looked
such unutterabls things as to cause
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

Geo. c. Staley, the comedian. will
appear in Bloomsbury Opera House,
Friday, December Ist, in new and
original and romantic comedy, by John
Stapleton, entitled Antony, the Trum-
peter, a tale of the Knickerbockers in
three acts, a special feature of the
play will be the Pans Pnixster dance.
by the ladies and gentlemen of the
COMPANY, in the characteristic wooden
shoes of the period. Secure your
seats early at Dentler's shoe store.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

This Paper and the
NEW YORK WEEK
LIZ WORLD :na year
!,r $50.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-11-30

Advertise your Goods
and your Wants in this
paper. The circulation
is large, and Rates Lew.