Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-08-08
Let Cs All Laugh.

feeling. Press.
WHEN engineers and trainmen are
we'll trained the locomotive goes oil
on a toot.-Picayune.
| NO NATTER how cheap quinine may
be 1t is always drug on the market.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The ice man now calls every morn
ing at the home Of the coal man and
does him up,-Dallas News.
POLICE officers in hOodluh districts
naturally expect to have many tough
experimentation Courier
WHEN a mercantile concern takes
in sail" it is in the interest of the
balance-sheet.- Lowell Courier.
IT is highly probable that the times
which tried mems souls found some
OF them guilty.-Butfalo Courier.
A REGULARITY about it is that
when money is tight it's business
that's apt to stagger. -Philadelphia
Times.
HE reStaurateurs at the Column
bian Exposition seem to think that
fair exchange is no robbery. Indian
apolis News.
WITH reference to these shows it
may be said dogs ancestral tree
cannot be told by its bark. -Phila-
delphia Times.
The man who knows that he was
one kind of a fool yesterday often has
suspicion that he is some other
kind to-day. -Ram's Horn.
Mrs. SLIMDIET.-"Don't you find it
little lonesome sitting down to
luncheon all alone?" Bordaire-"Oh,
no, the cheese is here. Truth.
The women in an insane asylum
look, somehow, like the women you
meet at home with a church enter
tainment on their hands. -Atchison
Globe.
"PooR Mrs. Chatter is all worn out
from talking last night" Did she
Lecturer" ooh, no: it was a whist
party she attended. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
The government of Russia has ex-
cluded "Uncle Toms Cabin" from the
theaters oil that country, yet they call
it despotic aud inconsiderate. -Phila-
delphia Ledger.
WHAT makes Swiggins such an
uncOnScionable lar?" "Stinginess,
He has as many facts as anybody,
but he hates to give them out. -
Chicago Tribune.
The mosquitO-pest season seems to
have reached Boston, when a clergy
man preached a sermon the other day
on "The Bigness of Little Things
Philadelphia Ledger.
WHEN a man considers how easy he
finds 1t to lend money, he cannot help
wondering sometimes that he finds it
so hard to get anybody else to lend
money to him.-Texas Siftings.
Music TEACHER-"I don't know
why you are displeased. Your daugh.
ter really sings very WELL" Father
"Yes; but how is it that she never
sings anything but soprano. "-Schalk.
HICKs-"Brown seems wide awake
enough when at his business, but at
home he is fearfully absent minded"
Wicks-"But then his wife has
mind of her own, and it is quite un-
necessary that he should take his
home with him. "-Boston Courier.
A PRIVATE soldier, walking arm
in-arm with his sweetheart, met his
sergeant when about to enter cheap
restaurant. He respectfully intro
duced her to him: Sergeant, my sis
teri" "Yes, yes" was the reply. Il
know; she was mine once. lie Lit
toral.
The ELDER noticed that Mrs.
Van Vests father died the other day
and left her a lot OF land out in Da-
kota. l suppose she will separate
from Van West now. The younger
Separate? Why so? The elder
She will have very good grounds for
divorce, you sec.-Brooklyn Life.
"LooK at me, ma'am,' said the
man who was asking for something
to eat. Amt l the picture of
despair" Il don't know anything
about yer bein' a picture" she an
swered, glancing ut the ak: "but I'M.
less you're in the wood-cut line you
can't get anything to cat here. y
Washington Star
THE conversation turned en- the |
number thirteen, the splitting OF salt. |
knives and forks placed crosswise,
and other kinds of superstitions. |
"You need not laugh at similar be-
liefs," gravely remarked Tranquil
letti. "An uncle of mine at the age |
OF II committed the imprudence Of
going to dinner at which the guests
numbered thirteen" "And he died |
that very evening"" mo, but ex-
actly thirteen years afterward. -
GaZetta Piedmontese.
YES, l may take a few summer |
bcarders this year." replied the old |
farmer, after asking for Il pound of |
regular saleratus, "but I'm goin' to
hev fair understanding in the out
SET" About what?" "Wall, princi-
pally as to buttcr'n' eggs and cream
and such, but particularly rs to
SleeDin'. We took an artist from