Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-01-28
MOLER'S AVENUE.


The folks up here have found
out why our milkman is like the
whale that swallowed Jonah.
When the uninitiated ask how
that is, we're always ready to
reply, because he got a profit
prophet out of water" but we
add she didn't get the water on
Moler's Avenue, for those who
have no cistern must go over the
hills and far away for the prec-
ious liquid. Even the recent
thaw has not unlocked the ice
bound jaws of our hydrants. and
the only response we get when
stand over over one and twist
and wait and swear in our sleeve
is a noise something like a growl
(which we take for an exclama-
ton of sympathy as it seems to
say through clenched teeth "I'll
be hanged if Id pay water rent
if | didn't get any water :" and
we turn away just little soft
ened and reflect.
Mr.. Luther Hill is still unable
to leave the house but is some
what better.
Mrs. Joshua G.. Tabler is very
sick. DR.. Morrison is attending
her. Mrs. Thrush, we are glad
to learn, is improving rapidly.
Mrs. John Stanley is also on
the sick list, we regret to say.
Lottie, the bright and interest
ing daughter of Mr.. Samuel
Frankenberry, fell and broke
her collar-b bone. DR.. Snodgrass
set the bone and fixed her arm
in bandages without bringing a
tear to the plucky maiden's eye.
Mumps are sneaking around
and a fellow don't have to get
in a fight to wear swelled jaws,
but if afflicted he has to hug the
cook-of course. We mean the
cook stove to keep from a worse
disaster.
Hunting UnsuccesSfuly.-Two
of Smoketown's sons were heard
on the avenue Sunday night with
a sleigh and bells. And their
anxious looks of inquiry wrung
the question ''Have you lost any.
thing 2" "No," was the reply,
"but we're hunting snow. can
you tell us where to find" Then
search was fruitless, Hunting
and succeeded in securing what
it was after. Friday last a great
big something in a sleigh passed
by; its arms were clawing
around; its body had been flung
over the side OF the basket and
torn it from it's fastenings. It's
companion made frantic efforts
to pull it back but evidently il
was hunting for something il
was determined to find and il
was successful, for with a heav-
Ter lunge it got a terrible fall. II
was the ground it was searching
for and bound to have it and il
got it, but that fall, however UNI
pleasant, knocked a half gallon
of rye out of the object which a
flock of ducks mistook for water
and after drinking heartily wad-
died home drunk as fools, dis
grazing their owners barn yard
with their idiotic actions.
Very SeductiUe. "A fellows
smooth tongue when he wants to
persuade a woman to go to court
who is strong enough to shake
him apart and scatter his prince
ly attire to the sport of the four
winds; verify a "Soft answer
turneth away wrath, while griev-
GUS words stir up strife"
Miss Josephine Tabler, one of
Berkeley's fair daughters, is Wis
iting friends in Md. and Penn.
we wish her pleasant visit and
a safe return.
Crimped my hair in dainty .tyle,
Sang love song all the while;
Dressed in robe of crimson hue,
To look queenly Just for YOU.
Then | in the glass surveyed
Faultless form of dazzling maid.
Happy, TOO
Then | waited and | waited
And | thought you was belated
Till my disappointment grew
From a mole hill 10 a mountain,
From rill to dashing fountain
Angry spray that over me flew
Because of you. =.
Jealous rage that spray inspired
And perchance one more admired