davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
A SOUTHWARK.
Leave / Arrive
/ ~NoRTHWARD.

No.. pel sssSf rg. Rl airao2
a. '2:43 An. $40 An. Fast Mail.
80 "7:4O AM $50 AL. Accommodate
8E*1O:13 AN il 90 AN Norfolk Train.
1884, I'll .OT An ll;4j AN. Atlanta Spe'al
IS 400 PM. 4:45 P.M.IN. and w. Con.
rs '5.52 PM $50 PM. Through Train
10 s0:29 PM 700 PM. Norfolk Speci1
STOPPING PLACES.
Nos. Il. 40. sc and 81 make no Stops.
Nos. ~ and 1874 stop at Beineid and
Stoney Creek on signal. Nos. %, "A.
80, 20 and - stop on signal az Man
chester. Drewry's, Centralia and Ches-
Wilmington, n. c. Nos. "a and IS via
Wilson short cut to all points in North
pullman Palace Buffet Sleeping Cars on
all through trains. on trains Nos. II
and 81 Sleeping CARS between Richmond
and E E~ERSnP RIfryyE TO ATLANTA. GA.
Leave Richmond $40 T.. NJ. daily: ar
riv'nr weldon 526 +. NJ. and AZ Atlanta
1870 A. NJ. via s. A. l.. Through sleepers
THE ONLY ALLcRAIL LINE TO NOR
Leave Arrive.
Richmond. 300 AN. Norfolk. .1l.25 Am.
Richmond. $40 Z. N. Norfolk .6& j. NJ
Eorfolk.....7:3O An. Richm'd. III 100 AN.
Norfolk. ..4:R PM. Richmond. 700 PM.
The trains leaving Richmond at 900
a NJ and Norfolk AT 40 Z. NJ. are solid
trains between these two points, and pas
senxers go through without change ~ cars
Trains leaving Richmond AZ 900 A.
NJ. and 11.5O p. NJ. and arriving
al Richmond at st35 A. NJ 4:45 p. NJ,
make close connections al Petersburg to
and from Farmyilie, Lynchburg and
West.
l. NJ. SULLY.
superintendent.
n. n ID. MYERS.
General superintendent.
T. N. EMERSON. Traffic Manager.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
LEGAL NOTICE.

" IRGINIA.-IN THE COUNTY COURT
OF THE COUNTY OF HENRICO,
THE 12TH DAY or SEPTEMBER, 1898.
In the matter OF the application Of
George W. Clarke and others 10 estab-
lish a public road running from the
Charles City road 20 the Darbytown road.
This day came again the petitioners
by their attorney, and IT appearing TO
the Court that the summons awarded
against the proprletors and mani Of
the land wanted for the bed OF the said
road has been executed on all OF the
said parties save Mrs. John f.. Giblin.
And it. appearingsto the Court from the
affidavit OF XIII A. Carter, this day made
in open court, that the said Mrs. John r.
Giblin has departed this life, and that
the names OF the heirs al law Of the
said Mrs. John b. Gibitn are unknown,
and that they are non-residents Of the
State OF Virginia: and there being no
agent Of the said heirs at law residing In
this county known 10 the Court; where
upon, IL is ordered that the said heirs
at law, whose names are unknown, and
all others whom it may concern, be
summoned to appear before this court on
the first day OF the next November term,
1893. thereof (belng the 18th day OF No
vember, 1899, and show cause. IL any
they can, why the said road should not
be established as proposed.
And il Is ordered that a copy OF this
order be published once a week for four
successive weeks in The Times, a news
paper published IN the city Of Richmond,
ana that a cop thereof be posted az
the front door OF The courthouse Of this
county on the first day or the next term
Of this court.
SAMUEL p. WADDILL, Clerk.
SANDS, Attorney. se29fr4t
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06

D-Dinner. ~S-Suuper
No. % makes al locsl stops. Co1naci
at. aleigh with iieimont Air Line f0r ASIDE
vile, n. g.. and al intermediate points a lis
western North d 70 ina Rallr0 I.
o., ~ has Pullman MET IS. srar| I.l
mOnd to Atlanta & nnecta diralI 20 lt.
!aute with ". h A.. r. H. for thtHsl00la.
y shrille, AMI all points le,t Coule.. ti1
4. 4 w. t. r. o. for Mobile. M.uaomeU
New Orleans and all points SOutuWes
A RIVE RfCaMONU.
No. i3i. dsiiy-A. a W. specIal-u.BA.M
No -, daily except sunday-MaI tnl Lt
press-6:AJ ".
For tickets Pullman reservar0nt A.. g.
plr AZ ticket Office. Byrd-Streef sa i01. $500.
mond transfer tOm any. H' ca Man fyssi
and company Office. -3I cas- Man street,
JOHN G. NItIEE. l.. A.. NEiFH..
General Manager. bel0u sl.L
o. Y. SMI u, To. ANUEGs0N.
Traffic Manager, Pass lg rtgsat
II. NJ BOYkIN city passengar Assent
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06

ID PHILADELPHIA, RICHMOND AND
l. NORFOLK STEAMSHIP COMPANY.
DAY and FRIDAY at j r. NJ. and every
SUNDAY at 5 A. NJ. Freight for Tues
days and Fridays steamers received
until sailing hours. For Sundays steam
er I'LL . p. NJ. Saturday. Freight received
daily tn ) p. NJ.
Fare 20 Philadelphia. 5000
For further Information apply 10
J. w. MCARRICK.
General Southern Agent.
Of1op Rockets.
W. p. CLYDE Il co.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06

Sell TO-DAY. at 1890 sharp, a hand
some assortment Of HOUSEHOLD FUR
NITURE.
Two PARLOR SUITS. 8 CHAMBER
SUITS, 1 WALNUT BOOKCASE, / large
BRUSSELS CARPET, 1 SINGLE and
DOUBLE WARDROBE. ! BUFFET, 5
KITCHEN SAFES, 2 WRITING DESKS,
l UPRIGHT PIANO, ? SEWING MA
CHIMES, in good order; l BED LOUNGE,
Q SINGLE LOUNGES, 2 EXTENSION
TABLES, 10 good HUSK and COTTON
o MATTRESSES. = HAIR MAT
TkESSES brand new, l large FEATH-
Err BED, BUREAUS, BEDSTEAUS,
WASHSTANDS, SPRING BEDS. large
ROCKERS. COOKING and HEATING
STOVES, 1 LATROBE STOVE. in good
order; 8 good YOUNG DRIVING
HORSES, that must be sold ION tide
street at 1920. Come and get goods Of
your " price. Seats for the ladies.
A. y. POLLARD,
ocG-lt Proprietor.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
City Engineers once,
Richmond, Va, Oct. 4, 1893.
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.

SEALED PROPOSALS win be received
at this Office until MONDAY, OCTOBER
10th, It 4 o'clock p. NJ. for GRADING
CERTAIN STREETS IN THE LEE
DISTRICT. Specifications, prohles and
lists of streets can be seen al this Office.
Each proposal must be accompanied by
a eruhea eheek tor $50" as a guaranty
Of the execution OF the contract.
The Committee on Streets reserves the
right 10 reject any or all bids offered.
w. Il. CuTSHAW,
oc5-td City Engineer.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
M VI Hmiah:8asana

w@uuE-B
SCHEDULE ~ EraL.4 a-t4
LEAVE RICHMOND DAlLN. BIN
STREET 2IA4lOH y1RFOLk
Arrive Norfolk ~ a
Stops Only AZ
Wayerly aBd 3lnoiN suL5
900 A NJ. THE CHICAGO rk.
tor L~yDchOufg, -s0sA
Dlueneld, P~OCanOnt@',N
Columbus and Chl-aeE .Is.A
man BUFFET sleepe! r6aast
~ Chicago, BitDp-t u
$40 y. M. For sIroif. Nori0ik a.-ies
termedsate stations
at Norfolk al GO pu-
ua5o PM. For Roanoke raaI9! Saas
at Roanoke 10 ,snoogA
Washington ana sss,srs
LimIted. pullman aI1
RoanOke 10 AeinpD~ car
New orleans. Dlnlhs pf.
attached Also iof ..u
rsld. ~POcahontas' h.r.n
and stations on fg
Valley division. 10
iouIsyilie and stslie' Nor
T. and ". railroad va Ssnt
TON Also Tor k0eAI atom
and ALI stations en- " n
salem division. rIeh-
Mace sleeper betNtth a.-ths
nond and LynchbafN gO
ready Tor occupancy .snsr
,. n, Also gilmsp '''
Petersburg 70 HoapoN' ,oeh.
Trains arrive Richmond nom ~,
burg and the West daily AZ e@ Nrsst
sndi:pP p. NJ; from Norfolk ana g tD' IN
AZ los A. s.. ard N~ESribuLHN
TIED TOO r. NJ ~orpTSrY.
District Passenger 49,
W. y. REN!LLa
ceneraI Passenger AssH-
General Once. Roanoke va
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06

w NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. FOR A
w LARGE, PLEASANT ROOM on
first floor, with board. References ex-
changed. Apply to 209 east Grace street.
oc6-lts
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
y ohN EIyER LINE via WGsI POM

Y DIRK RIVER LINE via WEST P0lNg
DAILY EXCEPT SUNDAY
THE tAEOhtTE ROUTE no UALIi.
MORE, PHILADELPHIA AtU
NEW HOHF
LEAVE RICHMOND.
TRAIN 10. 80. p FOO j. NJ
I OCAL EXPRESS, DAILY except SUD-.
Lday. Stops at all stations 20 les.
tor Manor connects with stage fUr Wl..
kerton, also connects with Baltimore
steamer at West Point daily except SUBJ
TRAIN No. tG. ff5 T. g.
u ALTIMORE LIMITED. daily er.--t
ID Sunday Tor West Point. connecting
with York River steamer daily etesgt
steamers connect with .b1linlrg ga
Ohio railroad tor Washiugt9n. fnI1-
deiphia and New YORK.
STEAMERS LEAVE BALTIMORE
nor WEST POINT daily eA'
Il day, thence by Richmond o lt
Vile railroad 20 Richmond. arriving ~
9O5 A. NJ. 1910 A. 81, and SIS = Dbl
TRAIN Ne. AZ, 7f0j A. d.
I OCAL MIXED daily rt.rlI
Ldav. leaves TWenty-tniri sif'.l
tion for West Point and hle'Del1"
Ticket once at station foot q F,rs55
street open 500 A. NJ 10 oD r.
from 800 10 - 80 A.
ci,y tiSket Office ooi wai9 TURK.
Tramc MsneSsr Gen Pass Agent
" n GRFFsS. General Nanasef
7 & II, THOMPSON. SuperIntrh''nI
mo NJ BFALT. Travl Pa-.
oya Nafp strsaf. Richmonl
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
ATTACHMENTS.


A CADEMY OF MUSIC
TH0S. G. LEATH 80. Lessee and Manager.
FRIDAY
AND ; OCTOBER 9Th and 9TH.
SATURDAY.
MATINEE SATURDAY. MURRAY AND
LOHMA 8 elaborate production o the great
racing f~arcical satire,
"a estrafEht TIP"
BY John ]. McNslly, with q cast Of % Artists.
Don't miss seeing the maryelously realistic and
exciting Massive hacs Track scene. being an
exact adjudication Of a famous race course
ocS2t-fr.sa.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06
A TLANTIC CuAs- LINE.

A TLANTIC COAs- LINE.
RICHMOND AND PETERSBURG RAIL
ROAD TIME TABLE.
Commencing Sunday, oct. l. 1873.
at 1901 a. NJ, trains on this road will
run as follows:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-06

Steward Eastern Lunatic Asylum.
oc6-3t
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03
TABLE OIL CLOTH,

Plain White, Marbleized and Fancy.
Walkers and everybody elses Csc
a yard, our
price .............. 12Hc Yard
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03

HOLIDAY GOODS. Ell ::::: ..5 = s :
by erienCew w
know will be here morning
the little ones that only be this peminenty
The the smallest
seeks here Buy Get the benefit of full Avoid
rush OF the two weeks before Christmas
lowest priced the south.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03

Extra Quality 1914 Wool
y a n X e is. walker 8
price Il 0S, our ri ~
price .......... sD1s -
lO-4 Bed Comforts. Walkers
price 81 .25, our IKE
price. ............. q CC
California Wool Blankets.
fu i 1914. alker
price $3.50, our G..lf az
price.....-....-. sDfsO O
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03
25G HANDKERCHIEFS FOR Sc.

imported Initial Handkerchiefs, hem
sltched and hand embroidered, Walk Sn
er price was &c each. our price Dc
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03
TOWELS,

Honey Comb and Bleached Huck p1/a
walker price l0c our price 49,. > u 4
Extra Large Size Honey Comb Towels
nlue and red border, Walkers price 60
2OxfO Full Bleached Huck Towels 1O0
walkers price lSc our price .... IOC
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03
BIANK S.
More Remarkable Prices.

S1.50 Full 1914 White and Grey
Blankets. Walkers regular $50, 0Vo
our price ................. IAI
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03
CHINA, ETC.
UnapprOachable Offerings.

200 dozen Silver Plated Teaspoons,
warranted not to change color, Mn
worth 81 dozen, Il dozen. ....... L0b
Extra size German China Decorated Bohe- f0o
Decorated Chocolate On milan Vases pair . fOC
Pots. ......... fOS
10 inch Bsque Fig 2Qn German China Tee- A On
ures pair. 80. 80. OOC a-tete Sets...'.... AZc
Tea sets eftv On - ~ English Porcelain Decorated
s5 psSfs German i Rn3s5 sets $IO.9S
and Saucer decorated Ass Large China Covered OOo
pair n ~ Dishes, oval shape sDOC
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-12-03
UMBRELLAS,

Ladies and Mems 20 inch Umbrellas
oxydlZZed silver handles, Walkers - 20
Men 2S inch New Crook Handled. SILK
serge. patent fastener thO Hsp
a $3.50 Umbrella. .............,. - sOsD
Ladies' 26 inch Gloria and Silk
Serge, nickel enameled rods. paragon
5! :5o,. i'ney handles, worth $l.63
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12

A smart young cavalry officer was re.
,ently exercising his regiment upon
the drill ground when the familiar
words of commands suddenly slipped
from his mind, and the strenuous effort
made to recall them was utterly futile.
In or Ter to cover his embarrassment he
was compelled to retire from command,
under the plea of illness. The fugitive
sentence came to him when he reached
his rooms. A still more singular case
Is that of well-llnOwn and esteemed
merchant, whose ns,mory so treacher-
ously failed him one morning after
leaving home that he was totally un-
able to locate his Offices, and was act
nally compelled to inquire aS to their
wherea bouts Another interesting eX-
ample is that of a popular novelist who
had nearly finished an important work
upon which he was engaged when Il
sudden failure of memory deprived him
of his plot and necessitated the laying
aside of the book for more than II week;
then an association of ideas recalled
the missing plot, the novel was brought
to II successful issue and enjoyed wide
circulution.-I'osto Globe.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12

BUT, SIR, YOU ARE TAKING THEM ALL. "
law beheld with intense satisfaction.
He occasionally slipped at his own
empty glass, which seemed especially
to madden the landlord.
The story would, of course, go
through the whole town-perhaps
farther But what could he do but
look on in silence. He had brought
the whole thing upon himself. He
would have given thousand marks if
it had not happened.
But no! This was little too muchl
He would not stand it any longer.
After the terrible guest had demolished
nearly half a roast turkey and a whole
pudding, the cheese was brought to
him. Ut was magnificent Roquefort,
and had just been cut Cheese was a
speciality in the "Kaiserhof."
The landlord now beheld Herr Sittig
seize the walters arm and, regardless
of his resistance, sever the cheese with
a powerful cut and place half of it upon
his plate. In a moment the landlord of
the "Kaiserhof' was standing in a fury
beside the energetic guest.
Sir" he shouted, ''if you wish to
eat half the cheese you might at least
have the grace to take the half which
is already cut!"
Herr Sittig stopped Immediately. He
looked up with a good-humored smile
in the excited face of the landlord, and
replied with well-assumed innocence:
30, it really does not matter, land
lord we are coming back again.
With suppressed imprecation, and,
scarcely master of himself with rage,
the landlord retired before the laughter
which burst from the spectators. He
resumed his place beside the buffet,
with one hand in his vest, and stared
at the ceiling, while he occasionally
stamped his foot on the floor in his
passion.
"Ah," reflected the lawyer.
What have to payP"
'Ten marks, SIR"
The solicitor deposited tcn-marl
piece on the table and departed with
his guest, who to all appearances wa:
extremely happy and perfectly satisfied
both in mind and body.
The other guests looked after then
with smile.
at really does not matter" was fre
quently in their mouth that day, ant
afterwards, when any of them met at
table they did not fail to record tn,
incident.
At such times the landlord of th,
"Kaiserhof' appeared ready to sinl
through the floor.
But it really does not mattcr-if i
serve to make him wiser in future
Boston Globe.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12
Overplaying His Hand.

An alarming state of affairs is re-
vealed in the protest which Rev. Letus
Hittumup felt constrained to make to his
congregation. "My friends" he said,
"the extent to which gambling is car
ried on in our town is alarming. From
my study ! can look in club-room
across the street, and last night saw
sight that made my blood run cold.
There at table sat four young men
playing polSer-for money! Yes, for
money. do not wonder that you shud-
der, brethren. Large stacks of money
were before them, and, would you be-
lieve it, actually saw one young man
who ought to have known better bet
ten blue chips on a pair of kings!"-
Montreal Star.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12
LINDA WEEDS THE pARsoN.

When Linda wed the parson there was much
commotion made:
The folks upon the outside said that they were
all afraid
He'd made foolish bargain. Just because she'd
been the life
OF District Number Seven, wasn't fitting for
the wife
OF one who preached the Scripture In the
church upon the hill,
Hut we who knew her better said he hadn't
done so ILL.,
She was the sum and total of the fun upon the
farm,
The end and tho beginning of the frolic and tho
charm
Tha, makes party easy no that sends Joy
GUS round
OF laughter and OF pleasure when her merry
notes they sound
All! beaux unnumber ed courtcd, but their fan
ccs ull they fed
When Linda and the parson in the little church
were wed.
wish you could have seen her in her veil Of
flmy white,
Her eyes they were a-sparble like the stars
a.twinklc bright:
Her pretty feet went gliding DER the carpet
like tie soft
Delightful fight of swallows that are winging
ways aloft.
And there she stood as bravcly and as sweetly
a, you please
Beside the pars on's elbow with her same com.
ported ease.
She held the sewing circle as she'd held the
rural fun,
According TO her notions and until the thing
wasalone;
She supervised the packing Of tho boxes for the
poor,
And she marked them with her fingers when
they went from out the door;
The Christmas tire g attendcd-and the folks all
felt a JOY
When the parson said that Lindas baby was q
pretty boy.
The parson wilted, sudden. and he crumpled
like u leaf
When Dr. Box he told him there was only
human grief
Awaiting patient yearnng in the years that
were to come.
On Sunday just stranger took his place. for
he was dumb.
In little tomb they laid her with the baby on
her breast
The two had died to gether, and the world knows
all the rest
They took away our Linda and they laid ner in
the place
Where the roses and the lilies and the weeping
willows grace
The land where folks are slecping-only wait
for the call
That brings them from the shadows, from the
cerements and pail;
And the folks, they softly whisper when they
see the preachers head
Arise there in the pulpit, 'bove tho spot where
they were wed.
H S. Keller, in Good Housekeeping.
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12

the whole of the fish and the parsley,
to his own plate before the waiter could
interpose.
But, sir! You are taking them all!
Those are trout" cried the waiter, with
a look of horror.
SIT really does not matter" replied
Herr Sittig with smile; II rather like
them" And he returned the serviette
to the waiter.
The neighboring diners were aston
ished at the young mans audacity and
made their remarks accordingly.
The landlord frowned and the waiter
fed toward the kitchen. The trout
had run short and some sole would
have to be recookcd for those who had
not yet had fish.
To the great joy of the solicitor Herr
Sittig soon disposed of the fish and
looked round for more. At whisper
from his master, he called in loud
voice, which was heard throughout the
whole room; waiter bring me another
couple of those fish,"
Some of the visitors laughed; others
frowned, the proprietor looked threat
eningly at the.pair.
"Now, see that you don't give my
guest all your leavings,' growled the
lawyer. in loud voice, to the waiter
What" he continued. ''all gone? No
more fish! Well, that's a pretty state
of things!' 49,,
The proprietor became as red AS a
poppy at this ccnsurc. The chief
waiter smiled distractedly. and, ap-
preaching the lawyer, whispered some
thing in his ear.
THAT is nothing To me- replied he;
there one may take rs much or aslittle
rs he wishes. You said so yourself the
day before yesterday. So, just bring
some more tish.'
The host seemed ready to burst with
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12

rage; but what could he do9 He tried
to restrain himself, although portions
Of the story, which the lawyer was now
detailing for the cdihcation Of the other
guests, reached his ears quite distinct
ly. The tale was received with great
laughter.
The tale soon made the round of the
entire table d'hote, and everywhere
were to be seen faces curious to exam-
inc the two chief persons concerned.
Many an eye was also directed towards
the buffet, and many malicious smile.
The landlord stood there stewing in
his own gravy.
The next course arrived-roast beef
and potatoes. Herr Sittig went boldly
to work: he even held the walters arm
when he was about to pass on too
quickly and got possession Of at least
pound of meat.
The solicitor did likewise, and many
of the others laughingly followed suit.
Again the supply fell short.
Perplexed looks from the walters;
laughing and cxpostulation from the
guests.
The performance of Herr Sittig was
almost Incredible. The others looked
on with astonishment mingled with
abyss.
He had two helpings from every dish,
and even then called loudly to the
waiter for more. He drank whole
streams of water. All this the man Of
The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-08-12
puNoeNr PARAGRAPHS

-Wickwirc--"IIow many kinds q
vegetables do they give you at youi
boarding. house?" Yabsley--"O, every
kind - except fresh" - indianapolis
Journal.
-Dora-''Don't you think my gowns
fit better than they used top Cora
Eyes. Your dressmalker told me yes
terday she was taking lessons In gcom.
etry."--Quips.
Promptly Punished.
met man this morning who said
looked like YOU" Smartley--"Tell me
who he is and I'll go and knock him
down." Starter--''I did that myself"
Judge.
--lIicls-"One Of the stores adver-
tises a list of 1000 new names for
girls Mrs. Hicks-''Stop in and get
1t; I've called ours all can think Of"
IN. Y. Times.
New Reporter-''Why DO you al
ways write out fish's weight instead
of using figuresp" Old Reporter-"Be
cause figures won't lie my boy, figures
won't lie. Buffalo Courier.
---Mamma--"And how did my little
pet get to sleep last night without
mamma?' Little Pet-"Papa tried to
sing to me like you do, an hurried up
an went to sleep SOS not to hear it."
Mrs. Houser-" don't think there
Is anything so awfully wicked about
horse-racing." Houser-''Humph! You
never heard fellow who has failed to
pick the winner swear, then."-Troy
Press,
Its queer how careless Dapper
has become in his dress" "In what
way?" His hat brim is SO very mar
row could really get near enough to
recognize him without glasses. Inter
Ocean.
-Unappetizing.- can't un-
derstand how shipwrecked sailors ever
starve to death" FillSins-"Why not?"
,Jinhs-'Because I just came over from
Liverpool, and I never once felt the
least desire to eat. Puck.
When He was Well Off.-visiting
Englishman-"Aw, got off an awfully
funny thing yesterday" New York
Host-"What was it?' Visiting En-
glishman-'One of your Fifth avenue
stages. Kate Fields Washington.
First Artist-"Well, old man, how's
OuSIAcSo! OcCOuo W. Spun
did Got commission this morning
from millionaire. Wants his children
painted very badly First Artist
pleasantly my boy, you're the
; very man for the job. b."-Demorest's.
"A Domestic Mishap. -Wife-sWhat
on earth have you done with the baby?"
Husband-"Done? Nothing" Wife
latter prolonged search)-"You dread
full man! you have thrown the Sunday
papers over our darling child, and IL
will take an hour to dig him out. -
Pittsburgh Bulletin.
--Scalds-'T wish you to understand
once for all, young man, that if my
daughter marries you I shall will all
] my property to charity" Pruyn-"I
| am very glad that you have made just
that point, sir, for 1 assure you that
under such conditions we will soon be
most deserving" IN. Y. Herald.
| -"My dear, Johnny must not use his
scroll-saw while I am taking my nap.
You know it makes me nervous. Please
tell him to stop Johnny isn't saw
ing. He isn't home from the ball game
yet" so, he isn't, eh? suppose what
heard was an echo from saw mill
somewhere off in the mountains" ;"
"No, Mr.. Wilkins, it was not. 1t was
your own snoring you heard. '-Har-
| per'S Bazar.