Morning journal and courier., 1893-08-16
STRApPEp.

The man who had himself shipped to Chicago in trunk has returned 'strsp- psd. Herald.
 Free coinsge or not, South Carolina couldn't get along without a ltltle mint '" Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Appearances are drcyitful. A mid glance has besn Enowa 70 come from a crcss eye.-BOsIOa TrAusCrip: "Weil," exclaimed the damsel who 20. free admission to the worlds fair. "things have come 10 pretty pass. ."-WEsbirgtUn Star.
 The o.d Trouble-First Dress Suit-I Which gre you, a waiter or a genilsmAnl
 Second Dress Suit (haushtily)-SIr, I cndesyor to be both.-Vosue.
 "DsTrup looked embarrassed when he met you- Whist was the mstterF" lowe him $50 and he has written tu me 'o psy 1t several times."-Cbicsgn Herald
 Little Mise Cat tue play l-who Is that man that bends over 70 when he walk.l Mother-Thats Ksag Richard. Little Mlss Is that his bicycle sultI-GOod News.
 Brown-ThRt Is 6 beautiful medal Smith has. Jones-Yes; tha E for beating the bicycle record. Brown-Whst is his Tee ordi Jones-Rsn over seventeen men in & week.-Brooklyn Life.
 "Any interesting legends About hereg" asked the tourist. "No," returned the ns- tive, slowly; "Ain't never ssen none, though you may find 'em way back in the thick woods "-Hsrper's Bszsr.
 "Howdy do, Hsr!eys linear you've giv- up art" "Hss- l found out I couldn't paint and gave 1t up" How foolish, Why, man, when you find ont you can't you're just beginning "-HATpsr's BEzar
 Emeliue-rm sWfully afraid I've offend ed Archie. Annabel-In what wSyI Eme- Ine-l broke our engagement and forgot 10 tell him Rbout 1t uniil I'd given II out to the society psPers-ChIcsgO Record.
 'Do you mean to gay that there are mI- crobes in Rock creekE7 che asked of the young physician ''Yss, it is quite safe to make such An assertion" Dear me, how do they ever survive iiI'-Wsshington Star.
 Young HnsbAnd-I'm just Aboat dead from putting down this carpet. Wife The carpet is not heavy. "No, but have to work in such a crAmPed position" " ''Sonsense. Just imagine yen are on your bicycle."-St BOtolph-
 'Y-a s-a S." ssid young MT. GIigAl, "I sang foh them. They didn't seem to care foh popular music, thougbF' Liked some. thing with more depth 10 1t, chr "Y-s-A G. That's what they said. So I gave it to them" "Wha: did you EingF' ".DOwa | in Coal Mine '"-DgtroIt Free Press.
 4 Simple Method.-"A year or so ago" said 8 young man to 8 Pittsburger, ''I spent a few weeks In New Orleans. One day saw 6 machine which bore the inscription, | Drop a nickel In the slot and learn how to make your pants last As hadn't 6 great deal of money thought sn investment of | five cents to show me how 10 save the pur- chase of pair of trousers would be small capital put to good use, 60 dropped in 6 nickel and s card appeared. What do you suppose it recommended as the way to make l your pants lAstf'
 Don't wear lem, I supPOte." | ttNo"
 "what did it ssyT'
 "MAke your coat and vest frst"-Pitts- burg Chronicle
 'pve just been expecting all this trouble about money and business" said General Calamity. who brAoed himself sgAInst | popular bar last evening. 'T knew 1t all | along, for this is the year of thIrteeus." The crowd moaned. but the effervescsnt | General didn't mind that. Said he: EsThs first and last figures of 1893 show i3, don't theyr' No one answered "TAke the g, the 8 and the l, aDd add 'em and you get IS. Add the s and e-gives you i7; add the and 3-gives you 4, don't iiI And from IF haves IS. don't itE" The crowd was thinning out, but the General kept merrily on. Multiply by 9-gives you T2: 2 and are Q, 3 make 12. and makes IS Oh, there's lots more, besides there's thIr- teen letters In the words Congress meets. |" and there's1 But General Calamity felt the force of typhoon of soda at that In. stant, and dissembled. - PhilsdelphIs Record.