The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-11-18
LIMEKILN CLUB PHILOSOPHY.

sit has cum to my knowledge" said
Brother Gardner, after the stove had
been righted up and the windows low
cred 10 let out the smoke-"it has
cum TO my knowledge dat Brudder Way
down Beebe has Jest about dun gone
crazy on de subjick of philosophy. i
also l'arn dat Kurnel johnson has spent
IS fur books on dat subjick, although
it's powerful hard work fur him 80 spell
cat and git dc words in whar dey be-
long. Also dat Elder Tcots has been a.
sittin' in his cabin fur de last week,
shoes off an feet on char, a.tryin' 10
find out why dar am holiness bout heat
an GOODNESS bout cold. Deed, but
dar seems 70 be a sort o. craze among de
members of dis Limekiln club jist now
fur philosophy. an l want to say few
words 10 yo' who am present.
''Dar bain't no secret bout dis philos-
ophy bizness, an dar hsin't no sorter use
fur any of yo' to spend any money or loaf
about de house. l kin tell yo' oil yo
want to know All yo' need am plain,
eberday philosophy, without any silver
plstin' on it, DE philosophy of philoso.
ply am as plain Ss the nose on yo'r face.
Fur instance:
If Samuel Shin spends TO days in de
week loain' around saloons and foolin'
wild game chikens some Of de Shin chill'en
hev got to 60 bsr'fut.
"If Antimony johnson losses $i2 wuth
OF time to win 81 on hoss race he's $40
short. n all dc tiggerin' in de world can't
make it any oIder way.
4
He has a wife an six chi'en an keeps
FIVE dswgs Does philosophy encourage
him in de hope of bein' wort millyon
dollars some day. Not much Philoso.
ply says he'll be mighty lucky if he even
gets 10 cents ahead of de game.
"On fo'ty different occashuns last
summer saw Jedge Primrose asleep on
his doah-steps when odder men. war al
work. Am philosophy providin' him
wild chicken potpie an Mocha coffee dis
winter Not rs we knows of, On de
contrary, he's powerful happy when he
humps up again cold later an a cup OF
2-shillin' tea.
Last spring Shindig Watkins bought
a gold watch fur Sl5 an diamond pin
fur $40 mo-. Dis fall he's got an ole
towel pinned around him fur an under.
shirt an am maxim pathetic inquiries
bout de price of turnips Do yo' want
any better philosophy dan dat
Last summer Majah Scott arrove in
dis town from Virginny wild his family.
He rented box at de possoffis; his wife
gin high tea; he rented piano at s.
per month; he bought tickets to straw
berry festivals, an de family was seen at
dc theater. De odder day dar was a
crash which shook de United States. DE
ma jah reached de end of dat $40 he
had got eor his mewl when he left Vir-
ginny, an today he am hunting fur
stoves to black. Dar was philosophy
dar, but he didn't see it. Philosophy
teaches us dat if yo' try to make $40
answer fur 81 ,000 something has got to
bust sooner or later.
"De Rev. Penstock am another shinin'
example of philosophy. lie had 500 in
de bank TO run him frew dis winter. lie
drawed it out and took Mrs. Penstock TO
de sea shore and flung on heap of style.
De odder day he borrowed half "A dollar
of me TO buy co'nmeal. Philosophy
orter told him dat if he spent his money
gwine to de seashore he couldn't hev it
to buy mncemeat in de winter, but he
couldn't see it.
My frens, do not wish to dictate,
nor would fo'ce my advice upon any OF
yo'. l hope, however, to find yo' con
sistent in dis philosophy bizness. DE
man who throws up a cash job to Loaf
aroun' home an study philosophy may
git a few theories, but he can't trade 'en
fur meat or 'taters. De philosophy OF
heat won't buy an oberooat fur Jinuary
weather. De philosophy of cold won't
pay de rent in July. 1t may be mighty
interestin' to know why de airth moves
around de sun, but shoes and stockin's
cost money. Yo' may wonder why de
wind blows, or why de sea am salt, OF
why de moon doan' shine at MONDAY,
but when de landlord calls fur de rent
he expects his money. About hall
philosophy, half horse sense, and steady
work at 81 day am jest about de dose
fur common folks like US. If de whit,
folks kin stand leetle mo- dat's der
locke u NJ. Quad, in Chicago Times
Widest River In the World.