New-York tribune., 1893-12-24
THE DEMON UMBRELLA.
A NIGHT OF MISERY.

We were having dinner. my friend Hartley and l.
| I'm the little Barclay-st. restaurant or the Astor
ITouse-the place where yot feel as II you are down
cellar In the pyramid of Cheops and where you can
| look out Of a subterranean window across stone
| crypt, which promises mummes. INTO that earish
| courtyard, the Rotunda. and catch glimpse OF d
mural camel and have the Egyptian IDEA turther
| realized.
'Odd notion you have" said Hartley while we
were waiting for coffee that OF carrying the poor
est umbrella In New-York
My umbrella poor. but Il was not altogether
! my fault. l explained TO him that few mornings
| before a thoughtless gentleman. name ana present
address unknown. had inadvertently walked or with
| my hat and umbrella while I being served In
ba rber shop leaving behind his own. the hat sea-
son in the rear of the goddess Fashion. and Win
| red lining I'm IT, and the umbrella somewhat pat
! ,orad and bulgv A messenger boy brought me
new hat but the umbrella | took along i De-
| Iieve" continued, that I'll throw that umbrella
| away tonight and get one in the morning
! 4 bright idea struck me. I'm leave II right here
I said and | tucked 1t behind the steam radiator'
! unseen Of any.
The dinner was over. end we rose ana
| started out I had forgotten about the umbrella
heard q quick step behind me end looked around.
"Ab 70 shentleman forgeets hees umbrella. ex-
! claimed the walter and with a grand hourish ne
held out the shabby wreck in all its horror. took
| II and walked out.
"Dld YOU see the pretty girl who was dining with
asked Hartley had observed that smile.
"con1c ip town with me-" said. "Tll leave II IN
the elevated car-no trouble about leaving an UNI
brella there-Ive left two there during the last
year"
.I can't do IT," replied Hartley. who is employed
on 4 morning paper. IL shall be late tonight. Be-
sides I couldn't imperil my social standing by walk
! ing with a man who carrying such an UNI
brela Better jab 1t in the first ash can you come
| to-"
made no reply TO this bit Of pleasantly ana
walked Of carrying the umbrella at a modified
,ar,le rest AT Park Place took the elevated In
side I "a; down next a kindly appearing old gentle
man who was reading The Ev ming Post" As we
swung in under the steady glow Of the great Judson
Memorial cross he folded his paper carefully, ap-
parentIy with the intention Of getting 1t bound took
of his gold trimmed eyeglasses. smacked his lips as
n the intellectual draught had been satisfactory, and
said:
Pardon me. but can you inform where can
find the lost and found bureau of the elevated
roads,
Down In the nelghborhood OF Morris-st," I an
swered.
"Ah indeed-thank you. left umbrella in the
train this morning and | must look it up to-nor
, row"
you may find Il there" I said encouragingy.
! ''Th. ulac, is upstairs \ blond young with n
/ puckerol mouth viii meet yoI and after taking
/ down minute description OF your umbrella. to-
gether with the exact minute OF the loss. and the
road train car seat and station where II occurred.
| he viii retire into a OF umbrella library.
where he has about 1900 OF them arranged and cata-
! loc.ed on shelves and look the matter up"
"You have had the experience" observed the
| kindly old gentleman
| MANY times returned carelessy. 81 usually
| have one or two deposit there" had slipped
| the ancient specimen | carrying over next 10
| the window and was leaning forward so AZ 10 hide
IT, Twenty -thlrl-stl" shouted the guard. l rose
! and started back astily. felt my heart beating
[ approached the door. Then came the voice Of the
| old gentleman. Here. here!" ne called sharply:
/ ''you've forgotten your umbrella" l turned and
! took IT from his hand. Game near increasing your
account with the road. h?" AMI the old reprobate
chuckled as he sank back in his seat. step lively"
beloved the guard. / turned and ran out; the gate
smote my heel I reached the platform. An ee-
waited guard would have had no trouble in dsposng
! of the remarkable Mr. Achilles.
! stopped at the newsstand on my way out and
bought IN evening paper "II. there boss" said
the porter 'you's lcavn' yo' umbrella | picked IL
| up and fled down the stairs.
hurried through Twenty -thirl-st.. clutching the
I handle Of tho umbrella AMI turned the corner ana
started up broadway. had not gone far when
barper's sign caught my eye. This is my chance"
| thought to myself. II got the accursed thing in
barber shop and there will leave II" l went In.
and was having my hair cut. though the opera
| ton was not demanded. There is something sooth-
/ Ing about a harber's chair; 1t conduces calm dis
passionate thought: with oppOrune hair cut
! Caesar might might not have plunged impetu-
ousy across the Rubicon l saw that had so far
been acting with great haste. Instead of reason-
ing out a course ard following II had been rush.
ing blindly along. depending wholly on chance.
arose from the chair with finn purpose. The
! brush boy handed me my hat. and turned quickly
and started for the door "Ieahs You umbrella.
| sah" said the boy. he in hot pursuit. 1
turned deliberately, looked at it and said:
| "Youve made a mstake-that Is not my
! brcla."
Must be. sah-yo' brought HIT in heah-yo'
wouldn't be carryn' no other gents umbrella. sah."
lie held the thing up in the glare of the lights.
| Il had no umbrella" sal sterrly
"Yous fo'got. sab. only umbrella In the rack-no-
/ ticed plrtc'lar when you come IN" The BARRIERS
! had all stopped work. and half-hthered customers
| were rising up in their chairs. | weakened
| Il believe it IS mine" / said | took 1t and
again He'd while the boy pock tod his tip and OBJ
served: Dis yere amt de SHOP where wes ever
! mistaken bout no umbrellas"
| But determined to retain my self-composure at
| any cost of mental strain. boarded uptown
! Broadway with another boil resolve In mind.
! Incidentally 1 decided to try the car. though
had small hopes Of IT, At Thrty-sixth-st l rose
to get off, leaving the umbrella behind but
met the reproachful eye OF the conductor and went
| back and picked 1t up.
| I walked east through Thirty y-sxth-st. My plan
was diabocal In its nature. but hoped for
| good results. Ii was nothing more nor less
| than 10 call on a certain friend and desert
| the thing in his hall. In five minutes
was In his easiest chair busy engaged In con-
/ versatlon. But I do not remember OF what we
| talked-my heart In the hail. with the um>
brella. / know not how long stayed or how got
| away. Ny first distinct recollection Is or walking
rapidly along the street-almost runnng-toward the
| lights the corner. reached hem. dodged around
| the corner. caught my breath, then again stopped
| breathing as hoard rapid steps behind me- Hoid
on. old man." said my friend. you're running or
without your umbrella Madge said II couldn't De
yours. but ! told her knew better. 80 here II is
| why. yes. it's mne-thank you-stup'd thins Tor
me to do-sorry TO put you to the trouble Again
IL had wound its tentacles around he. went down
Madison-ave. and then turned through Thirty-hfth-
st. and walked to Third-ave. l was beginning 10