davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
The LISTENER.

Senator Pugh of Alabama is a devout
worshiper at the shrine of New England
apple pie.
Lord Dunraven of yachting fame de
rives a goedly portion of his income from
the proceeds of his farming operations in
America
Congressman James B. Reilly of Penn
sylvania was called home to Pottsville re-
Gently to welcome an infant son, his four
tenth child.
J. c. Henrics of Charleston, S. c., is the
only ex-Confederate in that state who wears
the iron cross of Prussia for valorous service
in the Franco-Prussian war
Governor Turney of Tennessee, although
20 years old, keeps pack of foxhounds and
devotes all his spare time to foxhunting.
He is a fine horseman despite his advanced
age.
The senior surviving officer of the Confed-
eracy is James LOngstreet He is a very
old man now, gray and deaf. He lives
quietly and simply at his home in Gaines
vile, Ga
Everett Chauncey Bumpus of the fresh
man class at Harvard has been totally blind
since he was years of age. He is a son of
Judge E. c. Bumpus of Quincy and is 90
years of age.
DIR. Schweninger (Bismarck's private
physician) condemns vegetarianism, the all
wool and all cotton systems of treatment
and number of cures" including the so
called Schweninger cure.
Ben Dixon, a miner in Center Creek, No,
is a champion long distance faller. Recent
ly he fell into a mine shaft 145 feet, and
lives to tell how it feels Once before he
fell 50 feet, and once-'tis said-20O feet.
Speaker Crisp has comprehensive mind,
and, like Gladstone, can grasp the sub
stance of book while turning the pages.
What he has once seized upon his mind
never surrenders. 1t is always ready at
command.
Edmond Picard, a celebrated Belgian ad-
vocate, announces publicly his intention, in
conformity with his democratic views, to
abandon luxury and live henceforth as sim
ply as does Count Tolstoi. Brussels society
has been stirred up by the announcement.
| r. c. Spencer, NJ. P, wears collars 4
inches high-probably the highest on rec
ord. They are made from a special pat
tern, never stand more than one or two
washings, and it takes three of them a day
to satisfy Mr.. Spencer's instincts of neat
| ness.
Senator Morgan is well equipped and
ready on every public question. His great
speciality is international law and the his
| tory OF ulplOmacy- Herein ne Is mead and
shoulders above any man in public life in
this country, and with few peers in the
| world.
DR.. NJ. l. Nardi, who accompanied Gen
| eral Grant in his tour around the world
lives in San Francisco, where he is devot-
ing himself to making anatomical casts OF
the human body. He has made cast of a
heart IS times the normal size of the hui
man organ.
The Duke of Westminster, who owns 6
large number of houses in the fashionable
district of Mayfair Oondon), has declined
to lease or renew leases to any surgeon
| physician, dentist or medical man in gen
eral. He gives no explanation for it, but
the accepted opinion is that it is simply 6
| fad.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07

They told me at the last stopping place
to inquire for a family named Bristol, and
at O'Clock in the afternoon reached the
hamlet and soon discovered that Mr.. Bris-
toll was Justice of the peace in and for
the said county" He was a man about so
years Of age, and though he could have
raked in many fat fee by encouraging his
neighbors to go to law he did not believe in
what he called 'fussing around" We had
an instance of it while sitting on the porch
after supper. A negro came up on the run
and very much excited and said:
Mars Bristol, l can't stand dis yere no
mol want to git out a warrant fur Nose
Henderson, who dun knocked me down an
walked all ober mel''
Let's see. Yo'r name is Abraham Tibbs,
isn't itf"
Yes, sab; Abraham Tibbs, de peace
fullest pusson in all dis county"
And yo' want a warrant for assault and
batteryS"
Oats 1t, jedge. 1t was de biggest kind
OF 'sanlt an de worstest kind of battery"
Well, yo' go and tell Moses 1 want to
see him, and yo' come back with him."
Yes, sab, an IL he won't come I'll dun
break his ole black neckl Doan' gin him
less'n i've Vars in state prison, jedge, an il
20 kin dun make it 10 I'll send 20 five
bushels Of sweet Eaters"
In about 10 minutes Abraham returned
In company with Moses, and his honor
queried of the latter:
Moses, how did this yerc fuss beginf"
He dun called me a liar, jedge."
II denies itP' protested Abraham.
II wants q warrantp'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07

Before he entered the domain of Swedish
dialect comedy Gus Heege drifted about
the country with various dramatic enter
sound basis financially. This process is
technically known as transforming" and
while experiencing its vicisSitudes the COM
edian had many odd experiences. Once he
found himself stranded in Kansas City,
and he was driven into the streets by a
heartless landlord. After wandering about
for two days without a mouthful to eat he
became thoroughly desperate and cut a
hole in bakeshop window. Just as he
was about to remove a loaf of bread there
from policeman pounced upon him and
he spent the night in a cell. 1t would have
gone hard with him had not a chance ac-
quaintance learned of his predicament and
arrived just in time to pay his fine and buy
him a ticket to Chicago.
Say" inquired the friend in need as he
left the court with Heege, did you con-
fess to cutting hole i'll the bakeshop win
dowg"
Yes, l did, replied the comedian.
what with, prayt"
With the diamond in my rig, of
course" was the reply.
What on earth did you go hungry with
q diamond ring ON your finger fory" asked
the man why didn't you pawn itg''
Pawn ity" replied Heege. DO you sup
pose l would give up my diamonds and
lose my professional standing2 Not then,
my boy. Now, happily, see through a
glass of another color. "-Chicago Post.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07

Adapt your fashion to the figure, not
the figure to the fashion. Styles that
suit a stout, short woman will i'll become
a tall. thin one.
\ stout woman appears best IN black
or dark colors.
Simpler costumes arc completed by
triple capes of the material of the skirt.
or else n single cape is trimmed around
with three rows of ruching or of serpen-
tine braid in clusters to give the effect
Of superposed capes.
Velvet rejuvenates a gown. Velvet
revers, starting from broad belt of the
same and spreading over the shoulders,
are pretty and not difficult.
Last winters coat may be modified.
Big sleeves of some rough cloth of cor
responding shade or of velvet, with a
shoulder cape, or two capes of the new
material and collar of pronounced
shape. will change the appearance Of the
garment at a comparatively small cost.
Change last seasons plain waist with
am accordion plated chiffon bertha.
which may extend in epaulets over the
shoulders.
A cape admits of change, in the addi-
tion of deep ruffles over the shoulders,
one or two or three. with new kind Of
/ collar.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
+ CAhRS


month; he bought tickets to strawberry
festivals, an de family was seen at de
theater. De odder day dar was crash
which shook de United States. De majah
reached de end of dat $40 he had got fur
his mewl when he left Nirginny, and today
he am huntin fur stoves to black. Oar
was philosophy dar, but he didn't see it.
Philosophy teaches us dat if yo' try to
make $40 answer fur 81 600 something has
got to bust sooner or later.
DE Rev. Penstock am another shinin
example of philosophy. He had a 500
in de bank to run him frew dis winter.
He drawed it out and took Mrs. Pen
stock to de seashore and flung on a
heap of style. De odder day he borrowed
half a dollar of me to buy co'nmeal.
Philosophy orter told him dat il he spent
his money gwine to de seashore he couldn't
hev it to buy mincemeat in de winter, but
he couldn't see it
My frens, do not wish to dictate, nor
would foce my advice upon any of yo'. !
do hope, however, to find yo' consistent in
dis philosophy biZness. De man who throws
up a cash job to loaf aroun home an study
philosophy may git few theories, but he
can't trade 'em fur meat or Eaters De
philosophy of heat won't buy an obercoat
fur Jinuary weather. De philosophy of
cold won't pay de rent in July. 1t may be
mighty interestin to know why de airth
moves around de sun, but shoes and stock
ms cost money. Yo' may wonder why de
wind blows or why de sea am salt, or why
de moon doan' shine at MONDAY, but when
de landlord calls fur de rent he expects his
/ boss sense an steady work at s. day am
| jest about de dose fur common folks like
us. If de white folks kin stand leetle
mo-. dat's DER lookout"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Old 81 Leatherhead Made Happy by q
Mayors Generosity.

Old 81 Leatherhead Made Happy by q
Mayors Generosity.
His LAST YELL-As mayor of this town
we have been subjected to considerable IN
favorable criticism for an incident which
occurred last Saturday afternoon, and which
the knockkneed critter who publishes the
dishrag weekly down the street is deter
mined to make the most of. About noon
on Saturday, while we sat in the mayors
Office in the city hall, old 81 Leatherhead
came in. He had come down from his roost
on Bill Williams mountain to buy bacon
and powder. He had the same old mule he
has owned for IL years, and both 81 and
the mule were looking sad and detected.
The old man had heard that Arizona was
to be admitted to the Union, and that this
town, which he helped to found, was be-
coming civilized enough to have sidewalks
and telephones He couldn't believe it till
he got here and saw those things with his
own eyes, and as he sat down in our Office
he wept like a child.
We felt sorry for the old man. When he
told us that he was 65 years old and had no
hope of living through the winter. it seemed
a hard case. He had come down expecting
to get drunk, ride his old mule through sa-
looms and do considerable shooting and
yelling, and it saddened our heart to be
obliged to tell him that any such conduct
would result in his arrest. Tears werS
falling down his aged cheeks as he asked
our official permission to ride through just
one saloon and shoot six holes into the
mirror behind the bar. When we had to
refuse it, he begged to be allowed to gallop
up and down the street and shoot at glass
insulators on the telegraph poles We
couldn't sanction that either, but after dis
cussing the matter we made compromise
with him. 1t was agreed that he might
stand on the public square and utter a
dozen old time boots and then go and get
drunk, but there was to be no riding or
shooting.
Old 81 selected O'Clock in the evening as
his hour, and the city marshal was on hand
to count his boots. The first three brought
everybody into the street, and the next
three started half the population out of
town. The last one was a grand windup,
which Jared the shingles on the roofs, and
when he got through the old man felt him
self 10 years younger. An hour later he
was blind drunk, and by our direction he
was laid away on q bed of shavings in q
carpenter shop We don't deny that it was
against the ordinance, and we certainly had
no legal authority to permit it. but we
wanted to make old 81 happy once more
and are willing to take the penalty.
ANOTHER MIsTAKE.-When a stranger
came to us as mayor the other day to get q
license for "a grand aggregation Of living
curiosities," which he wanted to exhibit
under tent, we felt 1t our duty to warn
him that IL things were not up and up he
would hear something drop. He treated
our kindly intentions with lofty disdaiu,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
PROPRIETOR RICHARD W. ADAMS.

and found it to possess the most wonder
full reviving power and influence over me.
1T has built up my whole system and
has never failed to strengthen me and in
crease my vitality and vigor to a remark
able extent.
1T is certainly most valuable and
wonderful medicine and l cannot speak
highly enough in its praise. l heartily
recommend it to all"
Certainly no one who wishes to regain
health, strength and vigor, should delay
using this remarkable remedy. Never
mind if you have consulted doctors and
tried other medicines until you are we'll
nigh discouraged. Get DR. Greene's Ner-
vura blood and nerve remedy, and your
restoration to health is assured. it will
make you feel better right away, and a
cure is certain. The medicine is purely
vegetable and harmless.
1t is the discovery and prescription of
the famous DIR Greene, of IS w. f4th
street, New York, the successful specialist
in curing all forms of nervous and chronic
diseases. The doctor can be consulted
free by all, personally or by letter.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
THETRUE SPIRIT OF HILoSoPHYs SET
FORTH BY BROTHER GARDNER.
The Logic of Certain Events rs Plain a.
the Nose on Your Face-Brother Gardner
Holds Up n Few Conspicuous Examples
to the Public Gaze.
Copyright, 1873, by Charles B. Lewis

Copyright, 1895, by Charles B. Lewis.l
1T has cum to my knowledge" said
Brother Gardner, after the stove had been
righted up and the windows lowered to let
out the smoke-''it has cum to my knowl-
edge dat Brudder Waydown Bebee has
Jest about dun gone crazy on de sub
jick of philosophy. / also Parn dat Kur-
mel johnson has spent Sc fur books on dat
subjick, although it's powerful hard work
fur him to spell cat an git de words in
whar dey belong. Also dat Elder Toots
has bin a-sittin in his cabin fur de la9t
week, shoes Off an feet on a char, a-tryin
to find out why dar am a holiness bout
heat an a GOODNESS bout cold. Deed, but
dar seems to be sort O. craze among de
members of dis Limekiln club iist now fur
| philosophy, an l want to say few words
| to yo' who am present
"Dar hain't no secret bout dis philoso-
| ply bizness, an dar hain't no sorter use
/ fur any of yo' tospend any money or loaf
| about de house. kin tell yo' all yo' want
| to know. All yo' need am plain, eberday
philosophy, widout any silver platin on 1t.
De philosophy of philosophy am as plain
as de nose on yo'r face. Fur instance:
IF Samuel Shin spends fo' days in de
week loafin around saloons an foolin wild
game chickens, some of de Shin chill'en hev
| got to go b'arfut.
IF Anthony johnson loses $12 with of
time to win 81 on a boss race, he's $40 short,
an all de figgerin in de world can't make
it any odder way.
"Brudder Cabiff Arms 80 per week. He
has a wife an six chill'en an keeps five
dawGs. Does philosophy Encourage him in
de hope of bein WORT a millyon dollars
some dayS Not much! Philosophy says
he'll be mighty lucky if he ever gets Is
! cents ahead of de game.
ION fo'ty different occashuns last sum-
mer l saw ledge Primrose asleep on his
| doahsteps when odder men war at work.
! Am philosophy providin him wild chicken
| potpie an Mocha coffee dis winterp Not
as we knows of On de contrary. he's
powerful happy when he bumps up again
a cold later an a cup of shillin tea
Last spring Shindig Watkins bought a
gold watch fur SIS an a diamond pin fur
so mo-. Dis fall he's got an ole towel
pinned around him fur an undershirt an
am maxim pathetic inquiries bout de prict
of turnips. Do yo' want any better philos
| ophy dan dat?
Last summer Majah Scott arrove in di:
town from Virginny wild his family. He
rented box at de possoffis; his wife gin 8
high tea; he rented a piano at IS pei
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
THE DESIGNER.

The use of olivines in foliage in wreath
brooches is very good.
Receptacles of silver net, purse shaped,
are made to carry the handkerchief in.
A swallow poised in a downward flight,
made of seed pearls, is pretty ornament.
There is no end to the enameled salt eel
lars in silver gilt and the tea strainers with
enameled borders.
The marquise rings are longer than ever
and so slender that they might be used as
weapons of offense.
A new brooch of pink shell, convolvulus
shaped, was wreathed in diamond foliage
with tiny gold cupid crawling from out
its depths.
The newest bedroom silver candlesticks
are low with square bases. These are up
turned at the edges and have perforated
diamond shaped ornaments at the angles.
The newest floral jewelry has the petals
trimmed either with small diamonds or
with gold or colored markings. This is
much better. A new mourning brooch has
crumpled petals as in a carnation.
This season there are numerous styles in
brooches which are set in alternate tur-
quoise and diamonds and pearls. Why
could not pink coral, so universally becom-
ing, be used in the same manner9-Jewel-
er's Circular.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07


But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere.
Let's see. was over at Selma the other
day"
Yes. SAIL, yo' was ober to selma
And while there called at the Jail"
Yes, sab, yo' called at dc Jail DEFY has
got powerful nice Jail ober TO Selma"
And while at the Jail l saw a colored
man who was serving n sentence for steal
ing hog"
mo doubt of it, kurnel. Yes, yo' dun
saw Guild pussOn right in dat Jail at
Selma"
And you are the man. said the colonel
as he laid his hand on the negro's shout
der.
"Jes' so, kurnel-jes' so. l was right in
dat Jail at Selma, an dun members of
Try some white folks has got in DER heads!"
But You don't suppose l want n man
who's been in Jail for stealing, do your"
exclaimed the colonel
mo, sah-no, sab. OF co'se yo' don't.
OATS what I'ze yere to displain about. Yo'
got it all wrong bout dat hog, kurnel. De
pussOn who dun stole de hog was asleep
when yo' called. wasn't in dat Jail fur
stealth no hog. Pze no SIGH man as dat"
Then what were yo' in forS"
why, dey said dem two bags of cotton
seed meal what dey found in my cart was
Token from de depo'.'
"Oh, see. Well, what's the differences"
What's de difference? Heaps o. differ
ence, sab. On de one hand, I'ze loadin
up bar'l o. salt arter dark, and dem bags
jes' tumble into my cart when my back
am turned. On de odder hand, pusson
goes out by daylight an runs hog around
de woods fur ober two hours before he
cotches hind leg. Scuse me, kurneL. l
al Il n
shun, but il yo' am de sort o. man who
can't see de difference between a pusson
restin in Jail to obleege de jury an bein
sent to Jail fur Gtealin a hog l couldn't
trust my reputashun in yo'r hands. Good
mawnin, Kurnel Thomas-gosd mawninl"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07

"Yo' won't git no warrants of this yere
court, /" replied his honor as he shaved of
some tobacco to fill his pipe This yere
court finds yo' both guilty of the offense as
charged. Abe, yo' know them three acres
of co'nfield over by the Wilder Jonesesf'
Eyes, sah."
"waal, that's my CON and needs hoein,
and the sentence of the court is that yo' hoe
it and do the work mighty we'll Moses,
yo' know my two acres of peanuts over on
the Ridge roadS'
II do, sah."
Them peanuts is weedy, and the sem
tence of the court is that yo' put in three
days work over there with hoe. That's
all. Court is adjourned, and if yo' two hev
any mo- fussing around I'll double the dose
and fine yo' enough to buy me a bar'l of APP
plejack fur the winter" NJ QUAD
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07
ONE KIND OF ADVERTISING

Our esteemed contemporary, the Hart
ford Times, directs attention to the fact
that it has, within year, rejected objec-
tionable advertising for which more than
s., 900 was offered.
The DEMocRAT is one of the few papers
in the state that refuses to take disreputa-
Bile advertisements. We have declined
thousaL DIS of dollars worth of business for
which high prices were bid.
Two weeks ago proposition to publish
a disgusting advertisement was refused by
the DEMOCRAT. The agent who wanted to
place the business changed the phraseol-
ogy of the advertisement and asked us to
name price for its publication. as modi-
fed. OF course the offer went to the
waste basket.
Not being able to secure a place in the
columns of the DEMOCRAT the agent turned
to another local daily paper, which is now
publishing the advertisement, in its origi-
nal nauseouS form.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07

Franklin tells story of a man whose
two legs were very unlike-one hand
somely turned. the other deformed.
When any one who visited him looked at
the ugly leg and commented on it. he
held the man to be looking for the bad
side of things and folk. But if the Wis
itor saw his handsome limb and COM
mented on its beauty he held the fellow
to be worth esteem, for he looked at the
good side of things and probably would
see the best in his neighbors and friends.
Is it easier to see other peoples virtues
than their faults? have at last come to
see that folk are far better than they get
credit for being.
When Carlyle and Emerson walked
London and saw the horror of gin pal
aces and the miseries of poverty, the
former said, What do you think now
of the Saxon stock?' Emerson answered,
1.-The more see of the English people
the more 1 admire their power and Won
der at their progress" A story is told of
Jesus that he was walking with some of
his friends when they came on the car
cass of dog. They turned up their
noses in horror, but Jesus stopped down,
and looking said, But behold what beau
tiful teeth he has. st. Louis Globe
Democrat.
Ninety-two Years In WOrkhouse.
The death has been reported to the
Sheppey board of guardians of Eliza
HUMPHREYS, who has been an inmate of
Sheppey Union workhouse, Sheerness,
for 90 years. The deceased was born in
the establishment and remained charge
able until her death, somewhat weak
intellect debarring her from earning
her own living. She was affectionately
known as the mother of the house.
Frequently she would ask the visiting
guardians whether her long residence
had not entitled her to q pension.-Ex-
change.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-11-07

am often reminded Of how unwiscly
some wives spend money when shopping.
but never more wildly than the other
day when watched family in Sixth
avenue store. The occasion was impor-
tant, that was easy to see. for even the
father had left his work 10 take part in
the selections. The mother. with baby
in her arms, was poorly dressed and
with little attention 10 details. She
wore no gloves, her shoes We're shpshod
and her choker upfastencj. The father
led a small boy who was rather Cayly
attired, but the chief object was a girl
of IL or Il whom they were fitting out.
They had been on the second floor, rs
appeared in the new dress and new jack
ct, very light. delicate affair in the
height of fashion, which was bound 10
show wear very soon unless kept far
more carefully than there was any like
hhood of its being. Now they We're try
ing on bit white leghorn hat turned up
in the back with a ribbon bow. The
brim was edged with lace. while two
large white plumes ornamental the
crown.
Never once during the interval IF in
decision did the mother glance toward
the array OF black OF brown strawS.
Lizzie must have a big white hat. and Of
course the saleswoman was only too glad
to show the expensive models. The
father seemed proud of the new rig. $
and from his soiled and greasy pocket
book gladly paid the money for the in
appropriate hat just selected. The locker
on could not but imagine its condition a
few weeks hence, when, bedraggled and
soiled, it would look so mean. In fact,
there were quite a number of interested
spectators slyly watching the scene
doubtless led by the contrast Of such
hnery with the general appearance of the
family. 1t seemed such pity that thu
sum spent that morning should not hay,
been for more serviceable apparel, buf
who would venture to interfere:- Brook
] Iyn Eagle.