The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898, 1893-08-18
A MODERN PRECISIAN.
AN AUTHOR WHOSE DELIGHT is TO
FIND DEFECTS IN NOVELS.

Ruthlessly Destroys Poetic Expression
Whenever He Discovers Sentence Inn
properly Constructed.
A chie Of the grammarian order has been
taking notes Of our blunders in the use Of
our native speech, and he has given us the
result in little volume. There is an air
Of anonymity about the whole perform
a1ce which BELTS the nature Of the task.
The author IL known but as "Anglophil,"
a name for which it will be in vain to
search in the directory. He publishes at
the Literary Revision and Translation of
fee in the Strand. 1t is measure of pre-
ca-tion. Mankind. naturally pursues la
bors Of this kind with an amount Of cxecra-
tion which is proportioned to their benefit.
To learn on irresistible evidence that we
scarcely ever open our mouths without ut
tering an absurdity Of construction is to be
made wise and wretched at the same time.
Reform seems hopeless, the wretchedness
abides, and we look around for victim,
unconscious that perhaps Anglophil is the
very person we invite to aid us in our
search.
Such kill joys Of social converse may be
admired, but they can never be loved, and
our benefactor is to be excused for every
device by which he seeks to escape the odi-
um attaching to his Office. His terrible
mission is to read all the literature Of the
day not for its beauties, but for its faults.
The periodical press is not his happiest
hunting ground. He bags most game in
the S-yolume novel. Meetings and part
ings, the glory Of sunrise in padding,
the tender condolences of affection, the
tragic tumult of the courses of true love,
are, as such, nothing to him. He runs
through the descriptions of them with the
fierce haste of an ogre looking for some
thing to deyour, and rs soon as he finds a
verb out OF agreement with its nominative
case he makes a meal. Dread yet saiutary
dutyl 1t makes men and women afraid to
read novel and still more afraid to write
one, yet it should leave US with enough
charity to pity the fellow creature on whom
it has been laid
"Womanly sympathy and advice is never
wanted" 1t is soothing reflection, and
who cares to be interrupted in the enjoy
ment Of it by the remark that the lis"
should be "areP' We are not sure that
modern grammarians would agree with the
author, for there is precedent for the use
of the singular with nouns of kindred sig
nifcation. But let that pass. Then again,
"Her gayety, her good humor, was [werel
30 infectious" leaves us in no mood to quar-
rel-we are too sad. The clammy touch Of
criticism has marred the beauty of an en-
tire character. Similarly, Zone gives up
all for woman's sake and then they tor
ment ones life out" she torments, etc.
seems to rob the sacrifice Of all its imagi-
native charm. He saw it still-the bend
of her neck, the stoop OF her shoulders, the
fash Of her eyes, he saw them still, etc. |.
Alas and alasl for man who, in such a
picture, can see but a pronoun in the wrong
number
Let us hurry through the other examples
we have no neart for comment. Never
were the weaker sex held in greater honor"
[wasl. MARY had never before seen any
one 80 handsome, well bred and well
made as her new friend She resented the
latter perfection" Ilastl. Heroes are turned
to dust and ashes in the same remorseless
way. His eyes are blue, his nose aquiline'
what eau be the matter with thatl Sim,
ply that plural eyes and q singular nose
must not take the same verb Put "is'
after the central feature, and we may once
more yield to the charm of the description
If we can, "of the two lovers, James took
the highest place. The "higher'-
thing for peace
"You will feel pleasantly when she is il
her cofinn pleasant, but the effect o.
tragic irony has gone all to nothing Will,
we have been getting the sentence right
The same thing may be said Of an equally
fine effect Of scorn: How haughtily h'
complained of the wine being corkedn [that
the wine was corkedl if you please. MARY
was occupied with her work, and the paint
er and his model with each other' [were en-
crossed with each otherl, And just as til,
author seemed settling down to business
we do not like Anglophil: 1.-THE policeman
is great friends with the cook" The police
man and the cook are great friendsl. Ag,
fares no better at his hands than youth
II refuse even to allow his visits to tn,
house, much less give him my daughter
much morel.
This spirit Of destructive criticism in
yades every part Of life, 1t is not enougl
to forbid us to read; we must not speak
At every turn we are tripped up in the sim
plest colloquialisms that have becom
household words. Let no man hencefortl
say ''it don't signify" aud think there i
an end of the matter. 1t does signify yer,
much, II you use the verb in the plural
at does not signify" is the absolutely cor
rect, mealy mouthed form. Who woul'
not echo the complaint given in one Of th
examples, Looking into things don't he'll
me-" 1t cry Of despair, yet the autho
can not let it pass, docs not help me" i
, the right way.
= Under treatment Of this sort Of cours
every phase becomes stumbling block
We are at Sancho's feast Of speech, and a
each tempting morsel of use and won
comes before the hungry talker the ply
sician waves it away with his wand
"Would any one in their senses have S
acted?"-stop. would any one in hisS
lt,,sttL I,,,