The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1893-10-21
HUMOROUS.

-Teacher-"What is the plural of
baby?'" Bright Boy-'Twinsr
-Tommy-"Paw, what does it mean
that time shall be n more?' Mr.. Figg
II guess he will be no more when he
lays down his scythe. Indianapolis
Journal
DO you believe all that talk about
Benton's being untruthful?" Bangs
mo; he's the soul of honor. l wouldn't
believe otherwise if he told me him.
self."-Inter-0cean.
That's a great scheme of Scaddle-
berry's." What is itP" 'He has put
a big steam-heater under his garden,
and is going to try to raise baked
beans."-Harper's Bazar.
How do you like Lord Popping
ton, Miss Barrow" Miss Barrow
Not at all. He can't pronounce his
RS. and I do detest being addressed as
Miss Bowwow. -Tit-Bits-
-Freddy's First Composition on the
Seasons-'"There is 5 seasons 9 Evry
year spring summer ortum winter and
fawl but as for Me gimme liberty or
gimme deth."-Boston Courier.
What He Meant -Gummey"Skid
more has good horse sense" Gargoyle
IL suppose You mean he knows how
to pick the winners at the races?" Gum
mey-"No; l mean he never bets
Detroit Free Press
Why He Returned-'Look here"
said Mrs. Taddells to hungry Higgins,
didn't ! give You a dinner yesterday"
"You did, madam" replied Higgins,
with a courtly bow, land one good
dinner deserves another."-Detroit
Free Press.
My mother-in-law is the most
obliging woman" said farley. "She
wanted to go to South Ferry the other
day, but when the guard on the L
yelled Chatham Square, change for
city hail. she got up and changed and
vent to city hall, just to avoid a fuss,
as she put i~t"-Harper's Bazaar.
One of the best Scotch stories which
has reached us for some time relates to
a minister of the broad" section of the
established church. Meeting a mem
Der of his congregation making his way
home somewhat OBVIOUSLY. he thus &C
costed him: John, l thought you had
taken the pledge" Sac / did. sir"
replied the culprit, but it's ae thing
to tax the pledge and quite another
thing to keep it, as We ken weel enough
wi respect to the confession o. faith"
Tho two laudladies were comparing
notes 81 find it pays TO serve the
breakfast piping hot" said one. FIX
cept on Sundays Then serve it cold.r
"why do You do thst?" asked the other.
well, m weekdays my boarders have
to eat breakfast in a hurry, and If it is
hot they don't have time to wait for it |
to cool OFF; so they eat very little. Sum
days they eat less because it is cold. /
you, Mrs Jones, but for this
discovery j should have lost money this
season."-Harper's Bazar.
"A Detroit man some time ago CON
cluded he would go for an Office in
Washington, and the first thing he
knew he was confronted by a civil !
examination. He went through
the form, handed in his papers, and
the next day the examiner called him
up. "You have omitted an answer to
one question" he said. is that so?''
asked the applicant; (which one Is
that?r This: Which railroad would
you take going from Detroit r. San
Can You answer Il o. &c
you want to let 1t go?" .Oh. I can
it, said the applicant with
wei, tell me and IN
write It in for you" The one that
would give me q pass" responded the
frank young man. and the sxaminey
son~gTstulatsd hin.