davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

The burglar is not inclined to be
talkative, but he is great bore
when he finds the safe locked
Binghamton Republican.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

Jimmie, where did you get this
five cents?" "It's the money you
gave me for the heather, mamma" "
"Then why did you keep it?" my
teacher said [ was a heather. ~
Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

II am now," croaked the parrot,
reaching for its mistress costly
bonnet, "about to put in a bill for
damages. Chicago Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

The wife-"How did you dare,
sir, to scold me before Mrs. Brownp"
The husband-"W Well, you know,
Maria, daren't scold you when we
are by ourselves. Kate Fields
Washington.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

Hank Bitters "a prominent citi-
zen of Oklahoma) -"Goin' to the
ball tonight, Ikep"
Alkali Ike-"I'd like to, mighty
well, Hank, but l can't. You see,
it is to be strictly full-dress affair,
and I've lost one Of my spurs" y
Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27
HUMOROUS.

A barber has no right to lather
his wife.-Boston Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

Bessie, how many sisters has
your new playmatep" HE has
one, mamma. He tried to fool me
by saying that he had two half
sisters, but l guess he don't know
that l studied fractions. New
York Sun.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

"Do you think it right" queried
the idiot, 6heerfully-"do you think
it right to call box at the opera a
music boxp" Hardly" said the
unfortunate who was his friend; 81
should prefer to call it a chatter
box. Chicago Record.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

Pretty cashier-"You must give
me vacation to recruit my health
My beauty is beginning to fade"
Manager-"Why do you think
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

IF you refuse me, Mable Bend
erby," howled the young man, 81
shall offer myself to Mag Scarea.
wayw "Do, Mr.. MAXWELL" said
the proud maiden with a fierce Joy
shining in her eyes. II hate her!
Chicago Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

M. Skidds Feeling his way)-
Miss Fosdick, what salary do you
think young man ought to have
to marry?" Miss Fosdick-"My
gracious, Mr.. Skidds, do young men
demand salary for marrying now
a days?"-Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27
COLLECTIONS

Promptly attended to, and remittances
made to all parts of the country by drafts.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

-He lS Wiling W pun hAsoAA ii0o
anybody's place.-Elmira Gazette.
"Thickhed's ignorance has got
him into a box at last" HAS, eh ?
What kind of box?" Jury box"
Buffalo Courier.
She-"Do you believe it is true
that every woman is beautiful in
some eyesp" He-"Yes, if you in
clude her own" Life.
The burglar is not inclined to be
talkative, but he is great bore
when he finds the safe locked
Binghamton Republican.
"How do you know when the
first of the month. comes around2
You say you have no calendar
mo, but | have tailor. Harlem
Life.
He-"I will never marry girl
who knows more than | do"
She-"Indeed! So you propose
|, to remain batchelor?" ?"-Munsey's
Magazine.
He (indignantly)-"I hope |
know my own mind" She (sweet-
Ily)-"Yes, you surely ought to
know as much as that. "--Philadel-
phia Record.
Young man-"Tommy, you are
such nice little boy!" Tommy
mo use talking that way to me,
Mr.. Deadgone. Sis already has a
fellow.-Truth.
Father-"Well, young man, |
understand, then, that you love my
daughter?" Nervous youth
"N-n-n-no, sir. | wish to marry
her" New York Herald.
The wife-"How did you dare,
sir, to scold me before Mrs. Brownp"
The husband-"Well, you know,
Maria, | daren't scold you when we
are by ourselves. Kate Fields
Washington.
Jimmie, where did you get this
five cents?" "It's the money you
gave me for the heathen, mamma"
"Then why did you keep it?" my
teacher said | was a heather. ~
Harper's Bazaar.
"Bessie, how many sisters has
your new playmatep" HE has
one, mamma. He tried to fool me
by saying that he had two half
sisters, but guess he don't know
that studied fractions. New
York Sun.
"Do you think it right" queried
the idiot, 6heerfully-"do you think
it right to call a box at the opera a
music boxp" Hardly" said the
unfortunate who was his friend; ~
should prefer to call it chatter
box. Chicago Record.
M. Skidds Feeling his way)-
Miss Fosdick, what salary do you
think a young man ought to have
to marry?" Miss Fosdick-"My
gracious, Mr.. Skidds, do young men
demand salary for marrying now
a daysP"-Harper's Bazaar.
IF you refuse me, Mable Bend
erby," howled the young man, II
shall offer myself to Mag Scarea-
wayw "Do, Mr.. MAXWELL" said
the proud maiden with a fierce Joy
shining in her eyes. III hate her"
Chicago Tribune.
Hank Bitters "a prominent citi-
zen of Oklahoma )--"Goin' to the
ball tonight, Ike?"
Alkali Ike-"I'd like to, mighty
we'll, Hank, but l can't. You see,
it is to be strictly full-dress affair,
and I've lost one of my spurs. y
Puck.
Pretty cashier-"You must give
me vacation to recruit my health.
My beauty is beginning to fade"
Manager-"Why do you think
SOP"
Pretty cashier-"The men are be-
ginning to count their change
Puck.
Practical father-"Has that
young man who wants to marry
you any money!" Romantic miss
Mooney! He gave me cluster
diamond ring studded with pearls. :"
Practical father-'Yes, know.
Has he any money leftp"-New
York Weely.
In the Consulting room-Doctor
Excuse me, which of you gen.
tlemen has been waiting the long,
estp" Tailor-"I believe I have.
It is more than year since you or
dered suit of clothes and got it, but
.. you haven't paid me yet" Stock
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent

Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
WIN take oharge.of estates for residents and non.
residenta. collect rents pay taxes. place insurance
obtain abstracts Of title, etc.
ONCE hours-10 to 12A. NJ, 4to 6P.x.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

Michigan Central.
- Pm.
1885 Bay City, leave, ! 80
a2OA.M leaves Detroit. arrives, lO
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27

Pretty cashier-"The men are be
ginning to count their change
Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R'

Mail and Accom- Mail and Accom-
Exnress mediation Express. mediation
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-12-27
Here's the Idea

OF the Non-pull-out Bow
The great watch saver. Saves the watch
from thieves and falls-cannot be pulled of
the case-costs nothing extra.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
ATLANTA's REGULARS.
The Batteries of the Fourth Artillery
Off for Washington.

Atlanta, Ga, May 1.-Two batteries of
the Fourth artillery which have been
stationed at Fort Mcpherson for the past
four years left this afternoon for Fort
McHenry, Baltimore. The batteries to
leave were G, commanded by Capt.
Feuger, and L, commanded by Acting
Captain Lieutenant Lndeen Chief
Buglor Thompson, who is the only bugler
in the United States that can play
'sDixie'' on an open bugle, left to-day.
Tomorrow morning Battery A, Capt.
Howe; Battery G, Capt. Ennis; Battery
l, Capt Chase, and Battery M, Capt.
Feuger, will leave for Washington, which
will be the headquarters of the Fourth
artillery
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
wAYCRoss NEWS WAITS.
Merchants Looking for Better Times.
A Board of Trade Wanted.

bOdEu OF 1IduS w dnC6u.
Wayqoss, Ga, May IA merchant on
Plant avenue said this morning that
while business is now little dull, he
thinks next fall will be the busiest season
the merchants have had in years. A
board Of trade will in his opinion, be a
great thing for Waycross, if the business
men will take hold of it right.
j. j. Wilkinson, tax receiver of Ware
county, says that while receiving taxes in
the two school districts allotted to J. A
Cason for the purpose of taking the
school census, he found that Mr.. Cason
had not canvassed the districts on &C
count of sickness in his family
The Sunday schools of this place ap-
pointed delega1es yesterday TO attend
the annual convention of the Twenty
seventh District Georgia State Sunday
School Association at BlackShear next
Saturday and Sunday.
Rev. Mr.. Crumples filed the pulpit of
the Methodist church Sunday morning
and night during the absence of Rev
George w. Mathews.
w. 2. Lee has moved his extensive
crosstie business from Fort Nudge, TIA,
to Braganza Ga, on the Brunswick and
Western railroad.
The Florida rolling exposition arrived
here last night. 1t will remain here
till tomorrow.
w. H. Cason has moved his family into
his handsome residence near Pendleton
street
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
Carlisle and Western Bankers.

It seems to he understood that Secrc-
| tarv Carlisle wiz have conference with
the Chicago bankers during bis visit to
that city similar 10 the one he had re
Gently with the bankers Of New Work.
He viii ask Them to give upaTart of their
gold to assist The government to maintain
it's gold reserve until congress- meets,
when It is hoped that a solution of the
financial problem that. now troubles the
country viii be found.
As matter Of fact, the Chicago banks
have more sold than the New York banks,
and there is more gold in the
banks of the west than in those
of the east. A statement Of the
gold holdings of the banks published on
March p shows that in the banks Of Chi
cago there was at that time Sl4,S24.6OO of
gold coin and in the banks of New York
S12, ABS, 652. In all the western banks there
was a total Of 81, 6O4 $50 of gold coin and
in the banks Of the east 500, All IA
From the foregoing figures it is appar-
ent that the Secretary of the Treasury is
by no means dependent upon the New
York banks. In view Of the strength of
the banks Of the west the secretary is
wise in giving them some attention.
There is another thing in connection
with the western bankers that is
worth noticing. 1t is that they have
not tried to force an issue of bonds as the
New York bankers have. They have
shown that they are more patriotic than
the eastern bankers by their willingness
to aid the government without demand
ing the right to dictate the governments
financial policy. They understand that
an issue of bonds to maintain the gold re-
serve would make it more difficult to get
congress to repeal the Sherman silver
purchase act They have, therefore, of
fered their gold without insisting upon a
financial policy which might be made
profitable to them. With the help that
he feels certain of getting, the secretary
has po doubt, apparently, that he can
meet all demands for gold without draw
ing heavily upon the gold reserve.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
CALLED OUT ArD"sHor.
A Newcomer From North Carolina
Killed Near Pembroke.

Pembroke, Ga, May News of an
atrocious crime has just reached here.
Bennett B. Wheeless, a newcomer from
North Carolina, aged 25 years, was called
out of his bed at o'clock last night and
killed. He has been in the employ of L.
F. Wood, whose turpentine distillerv is
located seven miles from this place One
ball took effect in the right hip and the
other in the center Of his forehead, and
was fired from a 33-caliber pistol.
Wheeless boarded with Willis Billiard,
who occupied the former residence of
William A. Hughes. The two shots fired
were heard by Charles Swinson and En-
cry Bullard, who We're coming from a
neighbours house at that hour and who
report the shots to have been five minutes
apart. Calvin Lanier, farmer living
near by, also heard them. Bullard had
recently married the daughter of j. NJ.
Bowen, without her parents consent.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
A MIRROR OF oCALA.
Ballard Ordered Sent to the Convict
Camp-Destructive Hail Storms.

Ballard Ordered Sent to the Convict
Camp-Destructive Hail Storms.
Ocala, Fla, May six mem bers of the
Ocala Order of Red Men went to Mican-
opy Friday afternoon and instituted an
order at that place to be known as the
Cachala. 1t starts with thirty charter
Lott M. Ballard, who killed Charles
Shafer, and was tried about six months
ago and sentenced to twenty years i'm
prisOnment but was detained in the
county Jail waiting a decision of an ap-
peal to the supreme court, was ordered to
the convict camp Saturday, as the court
above sustained the decree of the circuit
court.
Ocala's daily paper, the New Capitol,
will change from morning to an evening
issue It's prosperity is so great that a
new business and editorial Office has been
added to its room.
DR.. James Chase, one of the best dent
lists in the state, will go to Gainesville to-
morrow as Ocala's delegate to the State
Dental Association, which convenes in
that city tomorrow.
Reports for the past few days have
come in of destructive hail storms al
Dunnellon and Williston. Much loss was
sustained at the latter place in fences
and trees, blown down corn and fruit on
trees cut down. The grown was strewn
with hail the size of hens eggs.
The South Florida presbytery closed its
session last Thursday
Revs. Y. M. Hunter and r. A. Pierce
were dismissed to other parts of the
church. Rev. L. M. Stevens preached
the opening sermon as past moderator
Eight of the fifteen members, with three
elders, uwere present. The Dunnellon
church was organized with nine members
Rev. George S. Rice of Sorrento and
Prof. B. F. Marsh of Eustis were elected
delegates to the general assembly, which
meets in Washington, d. G.
In the twenty-one churches there has
been an increase of membership of 1856.
Three new churches were built during the
year
Contributions during the year exceeded
that of last year $500. A committee
was appointed to consider the advisability
of establishing college for South
Florida.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
Great Steamships.

The limit in the size and speed Of great
steamships has not yet been reached.
When the Great Eastern was launched, in
1859, she was looked upon as one Of the
wonders of the world She was not a
prof to bic ship for her owners. and when
i { was clearly demonstrated that she was
a failure it was thought by many that the
building Of so large a steamship would
never he undertaken again. For a num-
bcr Of years, however. the size of steam
shirs have been steadily increased, and
they have proved to be 50 profitable that
tie rival transatlantic steamship com
paEies are trying to Guido each other in
the size and speed Of their ships.
The City Of New York, City of Paris,
Teutonic and Majestic each approach
pretty closely the dimensions of the Great
Eastern. but in the matter of speed they
are far in advance Of that vessel. The
Great Eastern was able to make only
about thirteen knots an hour while they
have no difficulty in making twenty.
The Cunard steamer Campania, which
reached New York SaturdayOn her initial
trip, approximates the Great Eastern in
size much more closely than any other
ship built in recent years. She
is only 65 feet shorter and Is
feet less in width than the Great
Eastern was. Her speed, however, is
vastly greater. She is expected to make
twenty three knots an hour, and there is
every reason to believe she viii fulfill ex-
pectations. She has two triple-expansion
Of Rr~I i,b hoe hat
600 and $1,000 horse power.
The cable dispatches announce that a
steamship, to be called the Gigantic, has
been designed for the White Star Line,
which is to be larger than the
Great Eastern was. The Cam
pania is $40 feet long, the
Great Eastern was 6s5 feet long and the
Gigantic is to be 700 feet long, 6s feet
wide and is to have 45,0OO-horse power.
She will have nine times as great horse
power as the Great Eastern, and she is
expected to have an average speed of
twenty-seven knots an hour. With such
speed she will run from Queenstown to
Sandy Hook in 100 hours, a little more
than four days.
The cost of operating such a ship is
very great, but those who are building
her know what they are doing. The con-
ditions of commerce and passenger traffic
have changed greatly since the Great
Eastern was built, and these conditions
are fully understood by the transatlantic
steamship companies. If they did notfeel
sure there was motley in such ships they
would not build them.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02

MEETINGS-German-Am American Mutual Loan
and Building Association; Oglethorpe Lodge
No l. I. o. o. F.; Savannah Lodge 1888, B. p.
o. Elks Alpha Lodge No. l, A. and A. S. r.
F..
SPECIAL NoTICEs-Le Panto Cigars, Her
man Kiene; 1O7th Anniversary of Chatham
Artillery May p Expert Accountant, VIM. P.
Hardee.
AUCTION SALEs-Lot in Dittmersville, by
R. H. Jones, Auctioneer; Fifteen Shares
Capital Stock Southern Bank of the State Of
Georgia: Lot on New Houston street, -Four
Lots. by l. D. & r. d. LaRoche; Contents Of
EightRoom House, J. H. Oppenheim s. Son;
Potatoes. Etc, j. Mclaughlin & Son
CooLERs-Appel & Schaul.
NONE OF YOUR BUsINEss-B H. Levy g.
Bro
STEAMSHIP SCHEDULB-Baltimore Steam
ship Company.
You NEED A CHANGE-Andrew Hanley,
Proprietor Suwannee. Springs, Fla.
LEGAL NoTICEs-Citation from Court of
Ordinary; Application for Leave to Sell Real
Estate.
RAILROAD ScHEDULE-South Bound Rail
road.
MINERAL WATERs-Apollinaris
COLUMBIAN ALBUM-The Savannah Soap
Company.
LEGAL SALEs-City Sherifs Sale; City
Marshals Sale
WHILST WE DO NOT FOR A MOMENT-Falk
Clothing Company.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
A FLOOD IN THE MISSISSIPPI.
All Previous Records of Ruin and
Devastation to Be Eclipsed.

OCH dSSabAO4 " DC IGAApoChs
st. Louis, April 1.-The Mississippi is
again on the rampage and before the apex
of the food is reached twill eclipse all pre-
vious foods in hight, ruin and devasta ton.
The gauge at this city now marks 81 feet,
or within - inches of the danger line, and
the water is rising at the rate of inch
per hour. Reports received from points
above here state that the tributaries are
rising fast and pouring torrents
of water into the Mississippi.
This volume will reach here in two or
three days and then the food scenes of
previous years will be re-enacted. The
railroads have taken profit from expert
ence and will probably not suffer from
the floods. The rainfall during the month
of April has exceeded that of any month
for twenty years.
Down the river reports show a tremen-
dous rainfall and swollen rivers. Mem
phis, Vicksburg and Natchez will suffer
greatly from the flood.
The Mississippi dock warehouse at the
south side of the Eads bridge at East St
Louis was undermined and wrecked by
high water this afternoon. A workman
named Cicero Pate was drowned and two
others are missing. The damage to mer-
chandise will reach S15 900.
break is reported in the Caho6ia levee,
by which number of farms on the Amer
lean bottoms were flooded.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
AN ANNOYING SEQUEL.

Report of Mrs. CleveIand's Illness
Brings Many Messages of Sympa-
thy.
Washington, May 1.-The erroneous re
ports telegraphed from New York Thurs
day that Mrs. Cleveland had been taken
suddenly ill on board the Dolphin and had
started Immediately for Washington
have had an annoying sequel to Mrs
Cleveland in the receipt of numerous tele-
grams and letters from friends in all
parts of the country inquiring as to her
condition and rendering sympathy all
these communications requiring answers.
Numerous personal friends of the Cleve-
lands in Washington have left their cards
All have been informed of the inaccuracy
of the story
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
Broke Her Leg.

Hazlehurst, Ga, May 1.-On Friday
Mr.. and Mrs. E. d. Nash of this city,
started to visit Mrs. Nash's father, who
lives some distance from Bailey.
They had gone but short distance
from home when they were met by a boy
riding horse who did not turn out of the
road as expected.
Mr. Nash tried to turn his horse, which
becoming frightened, began to kick the
buggy. Mrs. Nash jumped from the
buggy breaking her leg in two places. Mr..
Nash was unhurt.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
coFFEE's SUNDAY SCHOOL.
The County Convention Held Satur-
day-Crops in Fine Condition.

Willacoochee, Ca, May 1.-The county
Sunday school convention, held at Lone
Hill Saturday and Sunday last, was an
interesting and profitable occasion
Coffee county now has thirty-eight Sun
day schools, and is the banner county in
the Sunday school work.
n NJ Pofford, J. NJ Wilcox and s. G..
| Taylor were chosen as delegates to the
district convention, to be held at Black
| shear next Saturday and Sunday The
| association will hold its next convention
at Douglas on the third Saturday and
! Sunday in October.
The Sunday schools at Willacoochee,
Pine Bloom, Leliaton, Kirkland and
Pearson will hold a union picnic at Kirk
land on Tuesday after the second Sunday
! in May
An extended trip into the country
/ shows crops in fine condition and looking
well The fruit of the county is promis-
| ing The oat crop was never better.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02
OUT IN THE sIxTH DIsrRTCT.
oARoL1NA's LIQUOR Law.
The Liquor Men Now to Fight 1t Of
Constitutional Grounds.

Columbia, S. c., May 1.-The Chester
liquor case, involving the validity OF the
dispensary act, came up in the supreme
court this morning. A question of fact
having arisen the court appointed T. S.
Norman to take testimony. The testi-
mony showed that the bill had been reg
ularly and legally passed and Mai. Hamil-
ton, attorney for the liquor men, receded
from his position that the bill was illegal.
He will fight the bill on constitutional
grounds. 1t seems certain that the dis
pensary law will go into operation on
July |.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-02

Controller of the Currency Ecl1els is of
the opinion that if there were more bank
examiners there would be fewer bank
failures. There are but forty-three bank
examiners in the service, and they have a
total of 3,S4l national banks to look after.
AS the examiners districts are laid out at
present some OF them have more than 200
banks to care for, making it apparent that
to examine each bank oftener than once a
year is an impossibility. Mr.. Ecl1els says
he will redistrict the territory, and as
soon as possible arrange for more exami-
ners, so that each bank may be examined
at least twice year and as much oftener
as possible. An increase in the number
of examiners, by the way, will not mean
an increase in the expense to the govern
ment, as the examiners fees are paid by
the banks they examine.