Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1893-09-15

l...'.
For that tired feeling il migAt he
good to take a rest from patent medi'
ciurs. -tft'a.
How many men he@in on cake and
have to finally come down to bread
-it'ht>p1l Gt0j,.
There never was crank born that a
shr,wd worker didn't turn it to his
own ,r>.-i,b''lnd Press.
The dude has his greatest swing in
society whc he hammock season ar
riv,',. Ser OrlcaHS HicayHnc.
Il i MI right for some people to he
right. but the WAY some of them are
right i horrid. -ftcuSon Globe.
Every man has fool streak: it is
only matter of giving him oppor.
tuni,y to show it.-.;tchiS0n Giobc.
rIcre are four varieties in society
the lovers. the ambitious. observers.
and fools. The fools are happiest.-
Tame.
Put not your trust in riches" but
there's no objection to Your putting
your riches in trusts.-Ionkers States
man.
Was his address of any value''
Us indeed" said Mrs. Spriggins.
My husband said it was very voluble. ."
NTrI,'r'S Ed%dr.
A Nevada forest is said to be so vast
and impenetrable that many Travellers
have been lost in mere contemplation o!
it.--Amcricdn Grocer.
Fadman-"The paper says the speak
err spoke in rapt voice" Fangle-
"Ah. | see! Sort of -Iutiled tones. y
Dry Goods Chronicle.
Clcverton-''Do you ever expect to
become engaged to Miss Summit"
Dashaway (doubtfully-"If my dress
suit holds out. '-CiOthier.
Razzlc-''Did you notice how many
Yes. That's the only way he car
stave off his tailor" ClOthier.
so You had your clothes made by
Worth? Did you get good ftp" mo
My husband will have the fit when the
bill comes in. "-Lircrpool Post.
Teacher-s'Don't be discouraged
children. if you were not perfect 20
lad in one day "-F1iegende Blatter.
Il bought a donkey yesterday. jus,
for fun" remarked Gurley. We'll,
replied Gazzam. that's remarkable
instance of self-possession." -Harper''
Bdzdr.
There has been tide in the affair!
of many young woman which ROLLED
Ix-o lnff hAv ho
she said No" when she meant Eyes.
Dallas NeWs.
''Why do you cut out the lamb!
trachea?" asked the professor O.
.'Majah" Jones. Because" said thu
Majah. Il want to get at the baa fact
of the matter. Ashland Press.
Foreign Visitor-'I see it stated tha
public interest in baseball is declin
ing" American Host (sadly)-.'Ifea.
It is. haven't seen an umpire mob
ped this season."-M Y Weekly.
Miss Antique is delirious. Tn
doctor says it is the result of grea
joy" What caused it?" 1.-The census
taker asked her if there were any othe
young ladies in the house. BOstO,
Herald.
First Doctor-"Say. there's an un
licensed physician in town curing PEG
pie right and left" Second Doctor
Curing people? Good graciousl W.
must have him arrested. !
Weekly.
Bagley-''Hive you recovered from
your recent sickness, BaileyP" Bale,
NO. not fully" Bagley-"Why
you look as well as ever" Bailey
Yes. but I owe the doctor SIS yea
~ y Ledger.
Tommy-"Say. paw, what is phil
osopherP" Mr.. Figg-''A philosophe
Tommy, is man who sits around an
figures out how other men have so niue
more money than he has."--1ers
Haute Express.
Mudge-"You don't catch me gettin
up with the lark any more" Yah
ley-"That's what l said. tried
one day last week and every one D>
thought had been out on q b:t.-
zsrre Haute Express.
1t is astonishing how a little min
will hold out. A female fiend whol
we know has been giving piece of ht
mind to most everybody for forty year
and yet the original plant remains.
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
Tommy-"Pa, what does tact meant
Papa-"It means, my son, the abilii
which a woman has of sponging none
from her husband so that he can new
find enough in his pocket to buy Gigs
or pay car fare.-Bostc.i Herald.
Its enough to kiph of sour = ma
on human nature" said the tramp
''when you stop to consider how ofte
you're called lazy because you won
do 75-cent job at sawin' wood for
lucent breakfast. ~ Washington Post
How does your husband spend h
time eveningsf" He stays at hon
and thinks up schemes to make money
''And what do you do with yourse
when he is thus occupied?" %.
ttink up schemes to spend ."-Epoc
ut was the next thing to a railros
accident that deprived me of n
lover" said Miss Antic. "My back ha
fell off, and he knew that 1 had 4
ceived him" Those misplace
switches are dreadful things" -Epoc
M1. Slimdiet-"So you have place
Iaurself under the care of physicia
WHO reduces superfuous feshe Did
recommend any special dlet?" Ne
Boarder-'.No, madam. He simpl
recommended your clearinghouse"
N. Y. Weekly.
Calico-"I see Brcwr has invented
machine for the scarf trade. called II
tramp It counts the ties yo
haowr' Cassimere-"Yes, but tt
name hoodOoed it from the start.
bear. Nobody can make It work.
Dry Goods Chronicle.
1t was Horatio who, aiir1.::ng to hi
(Hamlet's father.) first observed I
Hamlet, "Can you match this shaded
mot invoice. certainly" replied tn
Dane uneasily. as the ghosts hollowe
tones came gurgl;ng up through I'll
pd.-Dry Goods Chronicle.
Servant answering belD-"M
master isn't in. sir. You may leav
the bill if you wish" Caller Gin sui
prise)-"Bill? 1 have no bill-wis
%" Servant Tin surprise also)-
No bill? Then you must have Gale
at tbe wrong house."-La Gaulois.
Withholding Guest-"Have you
room with a window overlooking tn
street," Hotel Clerk-..No. but v
have a room without any carpe,
Front! Show the gentleman to No. Is
Beg pardon. slr-at what time sna
we send for the Coroner?"-C hicag
Tribune.
Professor-"Mr. Chumpy. al
Gov ,-orr CO. bor'c to hraa