The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-01-01
The Daughter of senator Dawes Advises
:, Few Plain. sansihie ohsernances.

RECOGNITIoNS AND INTRoDUCTIoNS
The Daughter of senator Dawes Advises
q Few Plain, Sensible observances
Perhaps the greatest bore known in the
social world is the apparent stranger who
comes up to you and says: "You don u
know who I am; believe you have Tor
gotten mei'' and the second bore is that
other who without saying this in so many
words, acts it by an expectant silence;
and the third bore is he who never
realizes that you haze forgotten him, bat
leaves you to founder about in an I'M
happy ignorance of who it is you are
talking to. The first takes rank at the
head because his crime is deliberate and
OF malice aforethought, and the other
two are only trifie less to blame. though
they are simply stupid.
There are some OF us who never could
remember name, yet whose memories
are a perfect gallery of faces gathered
from many scenes and places. There are
others OF us who do not care to burden
still more an oVerburdened mind with
names we never need to use again. Gen
orally, both the unwilling and the will
ing bankrupt is really glad to renew an
OLD acquaintance and knit UP lost threads
of life. But IN this busy world, many
times, such chances are lost IN the delay
OF the vain attempt to remember that
woman 5 name, or the struggle to decide
where We saw that man the last time, and
one IS Justly vexed that the man or woman
VIII not speak their names. You have
been very pleasant acquaintance 1t may
be, but meeting on a sudden In strange
place you cannot possibly recollect them
quick enough to hide that melancholy
fact III only the man would speak his
name it would be at once an all-sufhcient
clue. Time makes changes, 700; in the
passing seasons men grow boards and
women wear b0nnets.
cannot see any possible bjection to
saving when you meet q wiulom acquaint-
ance: my name is Smith, - II am
Mrs. Jones whom you met at Newport.
That would be enough to save the whole
meeting and conversation from destruc-
ti0n. Yet some men-and especially some
Wcnen-do seem to have an objection to
this course, though or what grounds, as
I have said, II is impossible to conceive.
Moreover, the name should be spoken
Immediately, before that fatal moment
which oiscloses 70 you that you are for
gotten. It is really your business TO pre-
vent that contTetemps. You can save the
situation. Almost no one in these busy
DAYS and this crowded world can remem-
Der Us at an instant's notice; and while
he is searching his perplexed memory, the
passing opportunity for adj the pleasant
questions aud answers that might have
been has gone by.
But thai highway rObber Of society who
calis upon YOU to stand and dellver-hls
name deserves no mercy from you.
ssDon't you know me2'' she cries; and
YOU are tempted to answer, s'No, never
want TO- Such retort would be only
lust retributiOn Tor such challenge. For
il is most embarrassing even to appear TO
have forgotten q friend. And 1t is q sore
hurt to fad yourself forgotten. Neither
the one person nor the other should be
put ia such position. 1t is highly prob
able time and trouble have changed us SO
that IN old friend does not recognize US,
but he does not wish to tell US so; what
right have we to oblige him to be even
tacitly unkind2
was once met with this greeting in the
midst Of d crowded room: 'fDon't tell
me Won don 1 know me. have just been
10 see Mary Smith and she didn't know
me. and I shall be perfectly disguised if
YOU don't eitheri'' That visitor was
making her appearance Tor the first time
in d dozen years. during which she had
grown from glrihood to Woman'S estate.
Set It down that it certainly is obliga-
tory upon every individual recalling him
SER TO an acquaintance. after a lapse OF
time or change OF place, to speak his
own name. And this is binding even
when the acquaintance may be called a
friendship, unless il has been a matter OF
daily intercourse or a very close intimacy.
II is especially good form upon meet
ing with distinguished men or women.
The moon looks on many brooks, and
while it IS highly proper and pleasant TO
remind g great man thHt we have met
him before, the occasion particularly re-
quires thar q name should be given. In
all probability ne is glad 10 remember us
and renew OF increase an acquaintance,
but he cannot stop to think to whom this
face belongs
The like custom IS quite necessary with
elderly people, Many father or mother
remembers well enough that you once
visited under their roof-but your name
has slipped away, or your face it not quite
distinct 20 dim ewes 1t would doubtless
give them much pleasure to learn that
you remember that visit also, if you, the
younger person, would seek the oppor-
UNITY to say SO and begin by telling who
you are.
The ability to remember names is
counted q great gift, and with reason. 1t
is said OF General Grant that he never
fofg Ot name, and many Idols OF society
were born with a like gracious talent. All
the world recognizes the social charm it
gives, and covets the power.
ii in introducing strangers their mutual
friend would give them some common
sorting point the battle of social ease
would be half won. There would be no
lack of topics, no despair of finding any
thing to talk of but the weather, no dis
astrous failure TO enjoy all that was ex-
pected in each others society. And be-
sides, for instance, such an announce
ment as {. Mrs. Jones, the wife OF the ad-
miral, - prevents you telling that good
lady that YOU think the navy should be
abolished, while it also enables you to
compliment the appearance Of the White
squadron at Bar Harbor
Allow me to PRESENT. Miss Robinson
Of Chicago is simple phrase and easily
spoken, but it may furnish forth con-
VersatiOn for q whole evening
In ike manner the name OF Captain
Brown of the til cavalry suggests TO
you the inquiry whether he knows your
cousin, Lieutenant Smith.
This is the use of phrases which seem
TO SAVIOR OF the shop, and the especial
value OF titles in Introduction.
sshIr. Thayer, the artist, - gives you
81 once the long coveted chance to ask
the meaning of his Madonna, and deli
cate suggestion Of the fact that plain Mr.
DAVIS is Mir. Richard Harding Davis
opens a new world.
n Won are informed at the moment of
introduction that you must have met Mr..
Whitney when ne was secretary, or that
this IS Professor Briggs, the items will be
hints quite sufficient to prevent your
villifying the Democratic party to the
one. or avowing an especial devotion for
orthodoxy to the other.
How often we have all bewailed our ig-
norance that we were meeting the neigh