The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1893-01-21
THE ADJECTIVE VENDOR;
Illustrating the Past and Present
Styles in These Words.


jectives. Adjectives to SELL
The adjective vendor stood on a sum
ny corner. His pack was slung across
his back by means of a string. The
striLg was made Of long adjectivcs,
and when the vendor sold one from it,
he linked on another taken from his
pack. In hat way the string never
grew too short to fastcu about him.
The adjective vendor was a wide-asake
man. He had Travelled far, and had
friends in all parts of the world. He
had now just returned from the Arctic
regions, where he had been to collect
oddities with which to replenish his
stock. He was glad of the sun on the
street corner, and finally decided to
take up his station there for the day.
Good people all:
Give me a cali
he sang out, as he arranged his stock
on 4 little counter by the side of the
walk
Here's for young ladies. The latest
goods for gents! just imported! Here's
for the magazines! Fresh adjectives,
Give us a CALI"
'sOhi the dear things" exclaimed a
young woman who was passing. She
looked longingly at the vendors wares.
Il do love them" she unused. How
much is that one with the frilled edge?'
Not much" said the vendor, with a
courteous smile. But will it become
you?"
May | take it home to try?" said the
young
Free of charge" answered the VEN
dor, with a deep bow.
Those snowy goods have all gone
out, if she did bat know it, he muir
INJURED to himself. She'll appear like
a fool. but that's not my affair"
An old man drew nea and, putting
on his glasses, stopped over the wares.
"Pshaw..' said he, these gimcracks
are nothing like the ~adjectives of my
day. The world is growing foolish"
and with a motion of disgust he moved
on.
II must look up something for him."
thought the vendor. 1T will pay"
".Adjectivcs, sir"!'
This remark was addressed to an
erect. prim gentleman, who had not
apparently noticed the vendor.
Il never use them" said the stiff
gentleman, without turning his head.
The vendor shrugged his shoulders.
But he was soon consoled for the re-
buff. lie spied n bevy of schoolgirls
coming down the street. He drew his
feet together, and down he went in SO
deep "a bow that the cap in his hand
swept the ground.
Good morning, ladies. Those on
that side are for gents" he added,
hastily, as he perceived his customers
flocking to the wrong side of the coun-
ter.
These are the thing. of course"
sad a short. round miss with a prom
;nent chin. 'IIave you the latest from
Yale?"
YES" said the vendor, but he looked
bewildercd. Tie world, it seemed, had
beer marching on during his stay in
the Arctic regions. But lie was II
ready, shifty a
If you like those rough goods,
ladies, ! can show YOU any variety.
The gents sometimes use them strung
together. but You only want an odd
one now and then, | Judge
mo. indeed" said the former speak
er. 81 shall have mine strung together.
What do you say, girls"
The girls bounced upon the vendors
goods. and rolled them over. and turned
them over and talked them over. Such
great, hard articles as they chose.
Some of the gentlcst of the buyers
could hardly grasp their purchases,
but that only made them laugh the
harder.
"Kittie's got the nobbiest lot" they
all exclaimed, as, laden with purchases,
they departed up the street. Hittie
was the short maiden, and she had
truly chosen the longest and the o
bizarre of the articles for sale.
The vendor Of ~adjectivcs was tired.
He sat down upon the curbstonc and
wiped his brow.
VINO would think it," he red
to himself.
But he was above all n man of busi-
ness. His stock needed Encouragement.
He must bring ont goods from his pack,
to take the place of those that were
sold. While he was busily workir g, a
group OF young men lounged up to
watch him. They were the gilded
youth of the town.
The vendor did not at once accost
them. lie was no longer certain what
would please them. and he lid not like
to show his ignorance. But he soon
caught by the expressions of their faces
that the latest novelties from thu Arc
tic regions were the objects of their adj
miration.
Hang it, cried one-"these are
stunneIs,,"
Though. the vendor: II will put up
the price
The vcndor began to be very happy
before night descended and put an end
to his traffic. His gains wer. enor-
mons. All day the youths AMI maideEs
had been flocking TO his He
had tucked away the grave and solid
goods. and had displayed only the most
tempting novelties
When he went TO bed that night he
set his alarm-clock SO that it might
awake him early.
Il will trade off some of those shop
worn goods on the working people,"
he thought to himself.
Alas, misguided man that he was.
The sun rose bright and SIN ling.
When the vendor arrived ut his pest
the street was cieanlv swept. The
shop windows were still covered with
their shutters. and only Il few wagons
went rattling by. The vendor whistled
cheerfully to himself.
All of 4 sudden the sound of many
feet attracted his attention.
Confused cries of Catch him. Catch
him." broke upon his ears
He turned and saw Z crowd of peo-
pie. Some had canes and some brooms.
Here was 4 man with the fire shovel.
there one fiourishing the tongS Some
were without hats: some were strug-
Cling into their coats
Catch him. Catch him. was the
cry Of all
Gentlemen, gentlemen" cried the
vendor. spreading ont his arms. But
one of his own ~adjectives. whizzing by
his ears, warned him that expostula-
tiou WA vain. He sajza6 his naeE and