People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-09-29
NO. 6.
"1E AND ELI.
What They Know About Farming.
BELLE PLANE, Sept.

BELLE PLANE, Sept. %.
EDITOR VOICE. notice that me
and Eli have been to the Strip. They
seem TO be little soured because
they didn't get claim, and we write
TO ask What in the world would they
do with a claim" A. READER.
DEAR A. READER: II you have an
idea as faint as a mosquitoes sigh that
Me and Eli don't know all about farm
ing you are away of. To farm sue
cessfully you should first get piece
Of land. Horace Greeley farmed on
paper, but we advise you TO get some
land. You may want to raise ducks.
Farming is In reality tilling the soil.
That is why we recommend that you
get some ground. Then 90 and get a
mortgage. The man who issues the
mortgage will give you whole lot Of
money. With this sink a coal shaft
on the northeast corner OF the land.
You will also need a good dog. Don't
invest in cheap stock. Buy a hundred
dollar dog. The newspapers will all
give you nice notice. Also the dog.
When your ducks first come up they
won't be ducks. They are only goS.
lins. Don't let any old granger with
hayseed in his hair and malice in his
forethought persuade you that they
are gourds. They will be yaller but
they amt gourds. Don't pick them
yet. They won't be ripe till fall, and
they won't be yaller then. In all
probability you will be blue too. BY
this time the hired man ought TO have
the corn Laid by" and the cook be
ready for the sea shore. There will
be other things you will see sure.
Among them will be the mortgage
man after his interest. Put him of
till next week and 60 right TO town
and work up a scheme to build a rail-
road through your neighb0rhood. You
will need il TO move your crops. The
newspapers will also give you some
more nice notices. IL will then be
time TO plant turnips. Plant them In
the light of the moon. This will pre-
vent the shingles from becoming turn
ups. II the diggers havn't struck coal
yet they hayn't gone deep enough.
If they strike salt first stop at salt.
But the probabilities are that they
will first strike for what you owe
them. Strike back. The other cheek
Sunday-school racket won't work in
making a success of farming. Your
township may refuse to vote bonds
for your railroad scheme, but it will
put you in touch with the people and
you can run for Office. We haven't
time and space TO tell yoa one-sixth
of what we know about farming, but
you can tell from this that we do
know. In fact we can learn things in
print-shop that you wouldn't learn
on farm In four hundred years. But
IL you follow our instructions closely
you won't want to live half that long.
The chances are you will be ready to
retire in two or three years, and not
have TO look after the farm any more.
The mortgage company will do that,
and you will be hundred dollar dog
ahead.
When you want any further infor-
nation about farming you will find
Me and Eli doing business at the old
stand, ready to help the needy.
P. S.-You should pick your ducks
before taking them to market. The
feathers make very good pillows, and
you'll need some place to lay your
head, besides a dressed duck will sell
better In town where people make
study Of modesty and de-1uck-shun.
Yours truly, Me- AND ELI.