davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
DUMMY MONEY PACKAGE.
How Timid Denver Merchant Deceive
Himself.

How Timid Denver Merchant Deceived
Himself.
[ arrived in Denver just before the
first bank suspension, and one of the
first calls | made was on merchant
whose nervousness made it painful to
do business with him, no matter how
large bill could be sold him. On this
particular occasion he seemed afflicted
with an excessively severe attack of his
chronic complaint, and he told me he
was too much worried about finance to
talk about giving orders. After q while
he became communicative and told me
he had succeeded in withdrawing from
the bank that day over 1900, which he
had put away III a strong box IN d burg
| lar-prOof vault into which thieves could
not possibly break through and steal
He prOceededto tell me in addition that
he had made up a dummy package repre-
senting the package Of currency, which
he carefully labelled with the actual
contents of the valuable roll. The
dummy package, he explained, was IN
the back of his ordinary cash drawer,
which he showed me. His explanation
Of this peculiar precaution was that as
he had been seen by several people
who had helped start the run on the
bank, he was afraid his place might
be burglarized, and that if it was, the
dummy package would undoubtedly
be taken without being opened and
examined, and the thief would hurry
away without searching for further
booty. | smoked a good cigar with the
merchant and tried to convince him
that his bank was all right and that he
had taken a great deal of unnecessary
trouble. Later in the same day, how
ever, the bank had to suspend, and
when [ saw my customer the next day
he chuckled over the success of his pre-
cautionary measures. When | got him
down to talking business, he suddenly
remembered he owed our house few
hundred dollars, and said if [ would
wait he would go to the vault and get
the money. He came back in about ten
minutes looking as though lightning had
struck him He carried in his hand
what [ presumed was his roll of bills,
and when he threw it on the counter
and rushed headlong to his cash drawer,
[ began to doubt his sanity. But in a
minute his peace of mind was restored
and the explanation was obvious. He
had made up the real and dummy pack
ages so much alike that he had deceived
himself, and had placed a roll of brown
paper in the vault while the package
containing over 1000 had been lying
loose in his cash drawer without any
protection against fire or thieves.-S.
Louis Globe Democrat
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Parliament'S Troubles.

On October 20, 1896, Parliament met
met in the midst of the worst COM
mercial and financial crisis England had
ever known. at was generally ex-
pected that a strong effort would be
made to carry law enacting that nine
pence should be a shilling. Most of
the milled pieces were, therefore,
boarded"
Before the house rose that day reso-
luton was passed without division)
"that the standard of money should not
be altered in fneness, weight or de-
nomination"
Two hundred years ago they made
better time than they do now Mark
the result-two hundred years ago:
"From the moment at which the Com
mons notified their fixed determination
not to raise the denomination of the
coin the milled money began to come
forth from a thousand strong boxes and
private drawers. There was still pres
sure, but that pressure was less and less
felt from day to day. The nation,
though still suffering, was joyful and
grateful"
The quotations are from Macaulay' s
tWenty-second chapter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Cures for Dyspepsia.

The story of the man who was cured
Of dyspepsia by eating nothing but ice
cream is still going the rounds of the
press, but it does not appear that many
dyspeptics have adopted the suggestion.
Doubtless in this as in many other cases
what is one mans meat is another
mans poison" and vice versa. We
once knew a man who, after suffering
the severest pangs Of dyspepsia for
years, one day ate heartily of pork
dumplings at dinner, and never feltany
Of the distressing symptoms afterwards.
In describing his marvellous cure, he
said the dumplings were the heaviest
he ever ate; so heavy in fact that they
had to stay down. Perhaps the dys-
peptic who keeps On eating everything
set before him until he strikes a cure is
as wise in his generation as he who goes
hungry or fills his stomach with drugs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Peculiar Court Case.

From a description of English mourn
ing customs in the London Queen it
appears that the periods of outward
grief for a father-in-law is twelve
months, ten months black, two months
half mourning; Grape is seldom worn,
although the Grape period was formerly
SIX months. For a parent the period
is the same as above. The longest
period for brother is six months, five
months black, one month half mourn
ing. The Grape period was formerly
three months; it is now almost discard
ed. The shortest period is four months
mark that the period Of mourning for a
father-in-law is often shortened to six
months when relatives reside at con-
siderable distance from each other.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
CALIFORNIA CONDOR.
Huge Bird Shot on the Edge of I
Desert.

Huge Bird Shot on the Edge of the
Desert.
Archibald Campbell, writing from
Laguna, on the edge of the desert, I'M
der date of August /, says: To-day as
Henry E. Clark was riding near the
laguna he noticed a large bird among
some carrion crows, eating at a steer
which had died from rattlesnake
bite. 1t flew up into tree, where he
shot it with a rifle, and the shot broke
it's thigh. 1t then flew away among
some rocks, when he threw his RATA
over it and caught it, and it tried
to get away and nearly endorsed
him. He gave it another shot
through the wing and disabled
it. He brought it home and it
measured 9 feet 3 inches across the
wings and feet43 inches long from the
beak to the end of it's tail. Valentine,
the captain of the Indiana, says it is a
female and not near SO large as the
males. The males have the under part
snow white, while this is pretty dark.
| think it is the cathertes volturinus,
also called the California vulture, which
approaches the condor in size and has
wings even longer in proportion. 1t is
very little inferior to the condor in
spread of wings, which natural history
says OIUen spread 10 more JudH ~ 1eeC,
with length Of 4 feet Last Sunday, as
party of us were out on the high peaks
overlooking the desert, three of the
birds kept circling around overhead,
and now and again by far the biggest of
the birds would swoop down suddenly
toward us and make such ugly demon
STATIONS that the ladies got scared
and we all left on that account.
[ think their young were in the cliffs
above us and they wanted to scare us
away. The biggest was winter under
meath than the other two, and think
that it was one of the smaller birds that
was shot Mrs. Wiegar from San Diego,
who is up here on visit, skinned the
bird, and on her return will take it with
her and put it on exhibition at the
Chamber of Commerce. They are very
rare here now. Valentine says they
used to be very numerous here when he
was young. Two years ago we used to
see a solitary vulture every now and
again, but he disappeared, and now
these three are to be seen near the same
place. This one, [ think, could have
easily carried off a spotted fawn, a young
calf or baby.-,S0p Diego San.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

by Scott Alexander may be interesting
as showing the rich possibilities Of the
future: Circumference of basin 400
miles; diameter, 127 miles; area, 1850
square miles, or 360,710, $4,000 square
feet. Taking average thickness of eight
series of blanket beds at 6 feet equal
to As feet, equals 16,S3fI093, O56, 900
cubic feet of reefs, or at Is cubic feet to
the ton, 10,521, 433, 100000 tons. At
SO shillings per ton very low, value of
gold equal to 81, SIS, 1876, 224 900. Taking
the population of WitWatersrand at 40, :
600 souls this allows each 939, 454, 905 II
shillings and pence.-tSo,th africa.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Religious Beliefs of Authors.

will 60 farther, and say that I know
of no other class nor professional which
religion, such as there is. is less matter
of form or custom, or in which it is
more based upon intelligence, sincerity
and the desire to live better and more
useful lives, writes John Habberton in
a pertinent article entitled "The Re-
ligious Beliefs of Authors in the Sep
men Of any class but the experience
cranks are given to talking of this inner
life; but even were authors to unbosom
themselves to the world on this subject,
their talk would not convince anyone.
Everyone, from pastors down, judges
mems religion by their lives, and ii
would be impossible, by this method, to
bring an Indictment for irreligion
against American authors. The creed
of some individual writer may not meet
the views of some individual critic
but classes are not to be judged in that
WaV
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Scientists May Differ

AS to the causes of rheumatism but there is no
difference of opinion among them as to the
danger which attends it, the symptoms by which
it manfests itself, and the difficulty of dislodg
ing it al its chronic stage. Several mineral and
vegetable poisons are prescribed for it, but none
Of these has been shown by experience to pos
sess the same efficacy as Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters This benign specific depurates the
blood by promoting vigorous action of the kid
neys, which strain from the blood as it passes
through them the rheumatic virus when it ex-
lists in the system Physicians of eminence
testify to the value Of the Bitters in rheumatism
and the professional opinions regarding it are
borne out and corroborated by ample popular
evidence The Bitters remedy chills and fever
liver complaint, dyspepsia and consultation.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
PaWning a Dead Body.


A curious case came under the notice
of the police week ago when it was re-
ported that a dead body had disap-
peared from junk which had arrived
a few days previously in Victoria har-
Dor. This body, it was said, was to have
been transferred to land and a sampan
had been sent for. When the
authorities arrived with the sampan
they were informed that the body
was gone. An inquiry was instituted at
once and the corpse traced up. 1t was
found in pawn shop at Kowloon few
miles down the river, whittier it had
been taken by two sailors and pledged
for thirty Mexican dollars The
away and was beginning to arrange for
communicating with the deceased's
relatives looking to redemption of the
body
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Anecdote of John Mccullough.

E. D. Price says that the late John
Mccullough always entertained the
friendliest feeling for 'supers" who APP
peared in his support. He never forgot
that he had been one himself, and took
much pride in rehearsing them. How
ever, on one occasion they spoiled one
of his best scenes. He had been travel
ing all day and reached the town where
they were to play that evening rather
late in the afternoon. Mccullough, feel
ing very tired, sent his stage manager to
train the supers who had been engaged
for the performance and give them the
proper cues for their entrances and
exits.
The play was "The Gladiator" and
everything went smoothly until the
great scene in the arena. Mccullough
was in good form, and had never acted
better. He had raised the audience to
the height of enthusiasm, and his mag
nifcent voice had just uttered the
words: Romans, will we be slaves ?''
when the ''supers'' forgot their cue.
Instead of answering in negative man
ner, they shouted with appalling unani-
nifty:
eve will, we will !"
Mccullough stopped for moment,
and, glaring at them, muttered:
Cd you, you won't"
The noble Romans looked at each
other in dismay; but one or two of
them, plucking courage, piped in a
shrill voice:
eve won't, we won't"
The tragedian's choice expressions
were drowned in the laughter that fol-
lOWed.-S. Louis Republic.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Queens New Counsel.

James Francis Oswald, a new queens
counsel, is perhaps the hero of more
good stories than any man at the En-
glish bar. He was the junior, who, on
being told by Justice Kay that, cal
though he could teach him law, he
could not teach him manners" quietly
remarked: '"That is 50, my lud" An
encounter with Justice Chitty was hard
ing the court at great length in a bill of
sale case, and at last said: "And now,
my lud, [ address myself to the furni-
ture." ''You have been doing that for
some time past" said Justice Chittv.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

Flower .

My wife suffered with Indigestion
and dyspepsia for years. Life be-
came burden to her. Physicians
failed to give relief. After reading
one of your books, purchased a
bottle Of August Flower. 1t worked
like charm. Mywife received i'm
mediate relief after taking the first
dose. She was completely cured
now weighs 165 pounds, and can eat
anything she desires without any
de1eterious results as was formerly
the case. G. H. Dear, Prop'r Wash
ington House, Washington, Va. @
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Increasing His Sales.

An Irishman, who was near Sabden
and who is noted wit, went into pub
lie house the other day and called for a
glass of ale. The tumbler was not full
enough for Pats satisfaction, SO he
quietly asked the publican how many
barrels of ale he sold in week. 'Ten.' .
replied the publican. II think" re-
piled Pat, eff y ez stand me a pint
could put yez on a plan to sell eleven
barrels a week" agreed" said the
landlord, handing him a pint; now how
at his new pint" Always fill your
glasses. "-SDdre Moments.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Works Though He is Blind.

The fact that he was stricken totally
blind four years ago, and remains in that
condition, does not prevent Marvin R.
Clark from counting himself one Of the
most active newspaper men in New
York, though he is compelled to do his
reading through the eyes OF boy at
operates typewriter, as that machine
enables him to turn out legible manu-
script rapidly, and to a great extent
overcomes the drawback of his blind
ness. He writes plays, short stories,
special articles and editorials, and
thirteen newspapers take his matter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
SOME QUAINT RECEIPTS.
Odd Cures for Various Known and I'm
known Ailments.

O0d cures Tor various known and In
known Ailments.
Some quaint recipes are given us by
the herbalists. Here is one good
against merrie gals" another Fto ripen
felons," one to "engender naughty hui
mOrs," and lastly, one for subtle form
of m urder, inasmuch as the, detection is
''to kill man in such sort as though he
seemed to die laughing" So many an
tidotes exist against plague and poison
that, according to the herb doctors,
there is no excuse for any one to perish
from these dreaded ills. We have the
famous antidotes Of King Mithridates,
who insured his safety so completely
by using the following recipe, that when
he attempted to commit suicide by taxi
ing poison he utterly failed. The IA
nous recipe runs thus: 1.-TWO walnuts,
two figs and twenty leaves of
rue beaten together and taken fast
ing will preserve against poison or
plague that day" To the lovers Of the
animal kingdom, says the New York
Post, it may be interesting to learn that
dogs eat grass as an emetic; that asses
cursed with melancholy become lively
by eating milk waste; that deer pre-
serve themselves from the III effects Of
serpent bites with wild parsnip; and
that the willy weasel, before encounter
ing the snake, insures his safety by
meal of rue. Eyebright, by analogy,
cures the failing sight Of linnets and
goldfnches; while the eyes of young
swallows, pricked with a needle and
pin, and SO made blind, within three or
four days after will see again-the old
| swallows will restore their sight with
the juice of celandine" Serpents clear
their eyes with fennel, and SO much
| i Il
under it's shadow, they will prefer to 60
through fire
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Feeling the Servants.

The custom of feeling the servants
upon ones departure from a friends
house appears to be in questionable
taste, but it has become almost uniyer-
sal, and principle must sometimes make
concessions to popularity where the
matter does not involve a question of
serious right or wrong, writes Mrs. Bur-
ton Kingsland in the September Ladies'
Home Journal. In England an omis-
sion Of this custom would be regarded
as an evidence either of parsimony or
of ignorance, and we are such an imi-
tative race that we eventually follow
usages Of polite society in the ''mother
cG11nfrN -
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
A Question for Art Critics.

A woman artist, who has pictures in
the exposition, is described thus: can
active young lady, clad in blue serge,
who has clear olive skin, mass of
heavy black hair and black eyes which
take in everything with quick intelli-
gent chances" When man paints a
picture the picture is described. When
a woman paints picture the woman is
described. Why the difference p
BROOKLYN EG0le.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
He Ran the Meeting.

In a school district of Dickinson
County, Kas., at a recent meeting only
one man, the director, was present.
He promptly called himself to order,
selected his wife as clerk and his son as
treasurer, voted to hire a lady teacher
at $40 a month, made levy enough to
pay the bill and adjourned. Everything
was carried unanimously, and that fam
lily will run the educational affairs of
the district for a wear.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Treasure from the Flood.

Searching parties at Johnstown. Pa,
have been finding valuables lost during
the flood A few days ago a valuable
gold watch was found, and young man
named Brown found a diamond ring,
said to be very valuable 1t is reported
that q jewel box with diamond cluster
ring and an exceptionally fine solitaire
were found. 1t is also stated that some
of the most valuable recoveries have
been kept secret for fear the claimants
might make trouble.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Billions of Gold, but as Yet Unmined

An experimental boring $500 feet
deep was recently made in the Wit
watersrand gold field with a view to
testing the lie of the auriferous deposits.
The result was of the most satisfactory
character and the ''strike" has led TO
calculations of the hidden wealth of
these fields, and possibly the following
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
A Woman Bank President.

Texas is reputed to have the only
woman bank president in the United
States. She is Mrs. Annie Moore, who
is president of national bank at Mount
Pleasant, that state. She is described
as well educated and having much bust
ness tact and experience.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Effect of the Panic.

Il suppose the panic hasn't struck
YOU yet, Mr. Gotrox ?" cit hasn't eh :?
Here I've got more'n $4,000 that [
can't get people to borrow at all; they're
all afraid to get into the business any
deeper. If these times keep up little
longer I'll land in the poorhouse in six
months. Indianapolis Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

GHooLY KHAN, the Persian man who
shook the dust of Washington from his
feet because he thought the fippant re-
marks made in the newspapers about
his boss were in Sultan, is said to be on
his way to visit the fair incog. Col.
ception if he will make his presence
known
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

The duplex and quadruplex systems
of biography begun by Mr.. Edison in
1869, and finished after six years of
work, have saved in this country alone
the sum of SIS. 900 600.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
To Cleanse the System

Efectually yet gently, when costive or bill
iops, or when the blood is impure or slug
glish, to permanently cure habitual consti-
patton, to awaken the kidneys and liver to
healthy activity, without irritating or
weakening them, to dispel headaches colds
CIR fever use Syrup of Figs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

S. K. CoBURN, Mgr. Clarie Scott, writes:
II find HalPs Catarrh Cure a valuable
remedy" Druggists sell it, 75c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30
Natural SOlicitude,

A story, which will be appreciated by
every agriculturist and University man,
is just now going the rounds in Edin-
burg. A number of examinations are
being held at the University, and at one
of them a student bearing the name
of Meadow, who had answered the
printed papers, was called up for his
''oral." "Ah, Mr.. Meadow" said the
professor, genial man in his way,
Zine old name yours eyes, pro-
fessor," responded the student, ct
would be a great pity if it were
'ploughed. Pal Mall Budqet.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

IF sunshine had to be paid for, there
are people who would declare that
candle light could beat it.-Rana's Horn.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

THE horses hat, which last year a
humane horse owner in Bordeaux pro-
vided for bis horses, is now becom-
ing great article of trade in France.
1t is made of straw and covers the eyes
and forehead of the horse, while open
ings are left for the ears. A sponge is
kept in the inside of the hat and this is
moistened from time to time with vine
gar, SO as to keep the horses head re-
freshingly cool.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

WILLIs-.1Brown says he has horse
for sale" Wallace-dI don't doubt it.
| sold him.one the other day .'-Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-08-30

BEECHAMs PILLS are a painless and eff
fectual remedy for all bilious disorders. q
cents box. For sale by all druggists.