The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-08-30
THE HUNGRY MAN.
A Gastronomicai Hypochondriac Who
Was Almost Starved

Was Almost Starved.
"If you're so hungry, why don't You
go and get something to eat?" was
asked of the bony, lathy looking busi-
ness man the other day.
We'll, | would, and pay for 10, too
any price, if knew of anything that
was suitable to eat, and that was
| healthful.
I How would good, juicy roast of
beef go?"
Beef? why / couldn't eat beef; you
ought never to eat that; all the medical
works say now that beef is very injuri-
Gus; you see the cattle suffer so from
| thirst while en- route from the west
and then the plcuro-pneumonia, ye
know. and the heating nature of beef.
and-why l couldn't eat beef, 'twouldn t
do"
Couldn't you eat poultry, chicken
and
Say" interrupted the hungry man,
don't you know there is nothing more
hurtful for any person, young or old,
than poultry, the chickens, turkeys.
ducks and such are killed nobody
knows when, maybe weeks ago, and
put in cold storage. and they lie there
becoming just frozen dyspepsia breed
erS"
Cant you eat corned beef or ham
Or -"
Say" earnestly interrupted the hun
CRY citizen, ham or any salted meats
are very indigestible; the follicles'
here the clock struck two, and the
glan took from his pocket box of pills.
and placing one carefully on his
tongue, said: 81 ate some oatmeal for
breakfast and you know now all scien-
fists agree there is nothing much worse
than oatmeal for the stomach, 50 take
this soda mint pill to counteract the
effects of it."
''The deviln' said the friend. ~
thought oatmeal was just kind of pap
made for stomachs when they wanted
jacking-up?"
one eats oatmeal now"
well, anyhow, there's one blessed
Thing yon can always depend on, and
that's milk" said the friend.
a look of horror spread like q plaster
over the hungry fellows face. Milk.
Good heavens, man. Don't you know
milk is almost fatal to any one If taken
often; why, | went to one Of the first
physicians in this city and he said:
Never drink milk-nothin2 is more in
furious; milk always forms a curd
in the stomach and is much Of the
root of evil and base Of illness among
Americans
why not cat cracker with il, 20
give the curd something 70 kind Of
'chaw on'T''
Crackers ruin any ones digestive
powers. "
well. the heavens De praised. you've
got white bread and all the fruits lei;
between yon and starvation
That reminds me-" said the starved
and his hand sought his |
other vest pocket, whence Il pulled out
q white folded paper holding a powder. |
''l ate a banana last night md forgot /
all about il till now: must take this |
phe1acitine powder, and he Tapped 4 |
down Fruits" he continued. are I
now eaten only bv those who take their 4
lives in their own hands. Strawberries |
contain an acid which forms gaseous I
poison which viii eventually make 4
ansemia and kindred ills Cnr-ansA. 4
raapberries. waortEc berries. black ber- &
ries are Just a rank poison
Wen, said the now emi-paralyz-d
listener. 'taere are oranges, rae blood
fse~--
> 7oUi,tnf eat an orange f0r thon-
saud dollar oili, exeitealY interrupted
he hungry citizen "IFhv. an orange
or al spple has ottcn thrown people
into convuisious and beea the indiree.
sause Of heart failure. AMI tozaz:oez.
another menace 20 LIE. Is j. nox