The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1893-11-22

Still Expecting Something tc Turn up and
Confidence to be Restored-The Man
| Vino Has Means is Wanted-The
/ Experience VIII be Furnished.
10 the Editor of The Herald and
News: Some time since, 7 mentioned
incidentally in a Communication to
your paper, that, should I come mn
missing, some fine morning, that par
tles Wlshlng to correspond with me,
would accelerate matters by directing
man mater to Washington, D. c.,
care, 6: Cleveland, ESQ.
had no idea that such, a trivial af.
lalr, as the repeal of the purchasing
clause would have so utterly ABSORBED
the attention of the Lords of Patro naps
as to have obscured the eminent ouaIi.
hcation of myself and a few others.
who were waiting so patiently the
workings OF the law of gravitation. But
tempus fugits ct mutats and am rude
~ awakened from the pleasant reyeries
OF expectation by something like the
following:
DEAR SIR: There is an urgent de-
mand for some action on-your Mart.
that would tend to the s.resto-atioa Of
confidence. You have worked the
purchasing clause" of the supply bill,
until we feel it encumbent on us to no.
tify you that the Senatorial dead.
lock" has, at last, been broken, and
resumption ofspecie payment is ordered
forthWlth and Immediately, if not
sooner. Without grace or any other
orthodox exercise to speak of, YOU
will proceed to waltz to the time of S
and cts.
SWIFT, BUSINESS & Co.
Now, wouldn't that have been a
daisy" to fall into the hands of nv
"Private Secretarym I. shudder to
think Oft, and beg to acknowledge my
lasting obligation to the aforesaid 6.
Cleveland, Esq, for holding my ap-
pointment until a "more convenient
season."
I am in daily expectation of dis
patch, conveying the intelligence that
l have been appointed Plenipotentiary
and Envoy Extraordinary to Jerusalem
with instructions to get a hump on me
and rustic up sufficient amount Of the.
slna qua hon, to meet the exigencies of
the case. arising out Of the electrically
demolition of the cloud with a silver
lining.
What pity that "silver lined cloudsu
have deprecated so that for the future
they will become the exclusive property
OF such low grade poets as those who
masquerade in the character of Poet
Laureates Of England.
The prophesy that cotton would ego
up" upona the passage of the Repeal
Bill, will figure as the last link in the
chain OF inspiration. The inspiration
of hindsight, as it were, for It has gone
up out Of the reach of the fellow who
followed the little brown muleu the
whole summer, and is now in possession
of the only ones who ever make a decent
living out of it, viz, The Incubii.
Grease Of al descriptions has been
50 high that we have raised fine crop
Of coTn-in our brogans.
Other varieties suffered from a SUI
perabundance of water, and eshortn is
the name of it.
Eight-pound yellow yam potatoes is
the way John P. Wicker figures it this
season. We have kindly volunteered
to bank his surplussage, and promised
to take care of them as long as they
last, Our whole crop, carefully gath
cred, we feel, would approximate
something like eight pounds; but, for
fear that this estimate nav be TOO
large, we defer making final report
until we hear from the other four. We
will feel this reduction from our gem
eral average, which is hamper full,
but "There is no thorn without its
rose," for John is, a sound sleeper and
the potatoes are banked really phil
anthropic distance from his domicil.
The confidence of some people is
truly beautiful anyway, and glass
doors to potato banks, with tPush and
walk in," are among the, possibilities
Of the near future.
School matters in the land of the
"elect" are still in statu QUO, which is
Latin for Gin deuce of a FIX" This
is not chargeable to the school board,
for we are law unto ourselves, good,
bad or Indifferent, as the case may be.
The "Syrians are coming down like
wolves on the fold" and report says
that several of the fairest that be
among the Inhabitants Of Judea will
be borne captive to the homes of the
strangers. It must be nearing the
time, as the turkeys are getting so fat
that they have to sit down to gobble.
1t has been suggested that the "Picd-
mont Land and Improvement Com
pany" build an Intramural or Trans
Continental Railway from Newberry
station out to the city of Jerusalem,
thereby securing, in connection with
Little Mountain, the two most proba-
bly, passable summer resorts on the
South Atlantic Seaboard. It is in
ferred that the sale of preferred lots in
the city of Irmo will secure enough of
the available to insure the 1st mort
gage construction bonds, said bonds to
run for period not exceeding 80 days
and to be held by the citizens Eastern
Terminus as security against the trans.
mission over its system Of q. s. Circuit
Judges and bi.2d tiger whiskey.
After reading all the opprobrium
that has been hurled at the Senatorial
portion of the body polite, had come
to the conclusion that I would lose
something of prestige to cast my lot
among them, and had about agreed in
my own mind to allow Gilman and
Butler to have the race to themselves;
but, since the expose in your last issue
of the affairs "de Senectute," I must
acknowledge to slight change of
opinion. II fact, it cjnes so nearly
up to the surroundings of my palatial
residence on this boulevard de Joni
dab that I feel that would experience
but slight inconvenience in offering
myself as sacrifice upon the altar Of
my coantry's veal. | have not exact
ly determined, but I rather think I'll
60. 1t is true that I might be forced
to call on one of my attaches to 60 to
a door or window to throw out my
pindar hulls, whilst at home-I can
poke them out myself without trouble
through one of the many admirably
arra4ged ventilators that render my
doniicile lovely Inspiration as a sum-
mer resort.
There is a fine opening for several
parties with ample means and small
experience in this community; in fact,