The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-02-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A yard stick-The clothes pole.
Never too old to leorn-The ancient
classics.
Measuring vessels speed is knotty
problem.-Boston Courier.
The monetary questlon-Can you set
tie that bill to-dayl-Omaha Wold-
Herald.
The trouble with the lynx eyed de-
tective is that he sometimes drops some
OF the links.-Puck.
She-"How do you pronounce Chi
c-a-g-o" He (of st. Louis) "Guilty."
Detroit Free Press.
A girl gives her lover mltten, we
suppose, because pair is out of the
Observation-Disclosures Leader.
Mary man who couldn't train de.
cent dog properly confidently undertakes
the training OF a child.-Puck.
There are good many successful lion
lighters who will run at the sight of a
hornet.-Indianapolis Rams Horn.
The woman with the new sealskin
sacque is just as anxious for cold weather
as the plumber.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
All, very fair, indeed, is she,
This maiden fair by me adoredl-
But it's very plain to me
She's dearer than eau afford.
Puck.
When lady "condescendsn to do
something, she can only preserve he's
self-respect by doing it very badly
Puck.
Inquisitive people are reminded that
the chap who "pumps" the organ isn't
the one who brings out the music.-
Truth.
Many unkind things are said of the
telephone, but one of its redeeming fea-
lures is that you can't lend money
through it.-Philadelphia Record.
"sure, Pat, the wather's terrible close
to the idge o. the boat" .'Yis; an II
the toide rises six inches more we'll both
be drooned. Yale Record.
"It's all very well," said the grave
digger, ''to advise a young man to begin
at the bottom, and work up, but in NV
business it amt practicable. Life.
Binks-'I read a curious article, the
other day, advocating a tax on beauty"
Jinks-"Good idea. They won't have
much trouble in collecting it."-Quips.
"A jokes joke" the horse thief said
When they led him meath the tree;
But you tellers seem in dead earnest
While you're a-stringing me-"
Puck.
An lrishman has written a strong ar.
ticle in favor of cremation, and says that
cremation has one great advantage. Il
will prevent ''dead' people from being
buried alive.-Truth.
Orr E. Entle-'I hear that Ned Bird.
say has given up his bachelor apart.
ment." Marlboro Eyes, he has
changed his bachelor quarters for bet
ter half. brooklyn Life.
Mrs. snaggs (as she removes hei
wraps)-"I had lovely time at the diff.
ferent stores this afternoon" Suaggs-
"There you go talking shop again W-
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Dumsqulzzle-"Young Timberwheel
has suit of clothes for every day in the
week" skimgullet-'I never see him
wear but one" Dumsquizzle-"Y
that's the suit. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Tug ptain-"Boss, the boats
workin' very badly now, an we ought to
do somethin' about it," Tug Owner
"She won't work, ehl Well, then, dock
her, seei'-Philadelphia Record.
The military man was once
A hero TO US ALL
The football player now it is
Whose carnage we recall.
Washington Star.
Dukaue-"Speaking of storms, once
saw hailstones as large" Gaswell lin.
terrupting with sneeD-"Chestnuts"
Dukaue -"Oh, bigger than thatl As
large as horse-chestnuts. "-Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Mrs. Shyster de Puyster-~ Rensselaer,,
that Miss Westlands you pay such assid-
uous attentions to betrays anything but
a refined training" Rensselaer-"Ah,
mother, she is rough dIamondl' Mrs.
Shyster de Puyster-"Then you ought
TO cut her. The Jewellers Circular.
In the State Of Maine the yield Of po.