Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-02-23
"UNC' P'TROOSHO."

"Marse Gawge CUB me dat name,
down in Faginny, enduin wah time.
Marse Gawge greet man ter glib we all
moo names. 1 had mon 'leben, guess,
on'y P'troosho de on'y one sides Petah
dat stick ter me. Wen Miss Alice CUB
me suit er Marse Gawge's clo'es, wild red
necktie an plug hat, Marse Gawge he
laff an say he gotter call me Boobrum-
MI, and so he do fo' long time eb'ry day
L dress up. Den, one time wen I gwine
to mill, de ol hosses dey git scarf an run
plumb ter mill an back ergin; an after
dat, eb'ry time Marse Gawge see me wild
de bay team, he hollah, 'Hullo, Gilp4ng!'
"Nodah time, wen bin fussin aroun
in de garrit, foun er ol muff, wha' oil
miss done frow erway, an ak Miss Alice
kin l hab IN, case it jes' de ting wen
halter go set b. Pomp, de dribah, on col
days wen Marse Gawge an Miss Alice
go dribin. Miss Alice she say l kin, so
mex col day, wen dey halter go ter
Marse Willie's, 1 war lie muff. N
Marse Gawge, he seen IN, an say: HUI
10, Rushinbow! Wen you come FIN
FranceP
But wy he call me 'P'trooshoP |
dunno, zackly, but Marse Gawge do.
He kim ter me one day, an say, 'Petah,
whuffer yo' dom git merried ergin?
Marse Gawge allus sayin tings right
plumb out ter we all, jes' lax dat.
"An l say: 'Marse Gawge, I ain
speakin no names, but does yo' mem
bah er suttin pusson dat am now gone
erway FIN disher vale of teahs, an
.whatter mis'able tempah dat pusson had2
An do yo' 'membah dat wen dat suttin
pusson was hbin, folkses dat libed wild
her gotter stan roun? No. sab, doesn't
CATER any mo- tank yo', Marse Gawge.
Sides, Pze ergettin too OF fo' sich non
sensical tings'
"Marse Gawge he laff wy Petah,'
he say, 'yo' is on'y bout fifty. Yo'
young man yit. Now, me n Miss Alice
bin tinkin dat 'twould be nice ting eff
Cl'rindy n you'all d git married.
'Twould sorter mex it mo- c'nveeniunt,
an all dat
81 dunno whatter say ter dat. Dat
CFrindy was lady lookin an right smaht,
but she got jes' sich tempah as l done
had 'speriunce wild So l look It Marse
Gawge an say: NH! Golly, chile, dat
niggah wuss'n de odah one l done men,
shun. How yo' spose kin stan dat?
''Marse Gawge he stop n tink fer vile.
Den he say: Petah, rze feared yo' done
let yersef be hainpeck'. Lemme tell
yo', Petah, dat de on'y way ter be boss
am ter 'sert yo'se'f an don let no woman
mex yer stan roun lax Aunt Debby
done. Dey was er man oncet whar name
was P'troosho an he right smaht man.
Well, dey merry him ter gal wha' got
mo- tempah n er settin hen. My, she
war tur'ble! So Ptroosho, wen he git
all hitch, gin ter train dat oman.
"'Ef she git mad he git mad, too, r
tend dat he is an he jes' raise de ol Nick
wussn her. Eff she say it col day, he
say she lie, dat de day am mis'ably wahm
OF he don lax he dinner he tex n frow
it on de fioh an bre'k de dishes. He hol-
lah at dat oman an boss 'er roun an
bullyrag twell dat oman don know 'er
name. By IN by she git so dat wen
P'troosho tell 'er in broad daylight dat
de sun am de moon she b'liebe i'm, an
willin ter sw'ar ter it. Eff he call 'Kater
she mos bre'k 'er naik comm ter see
whuffer he call.
"'Now, Petah, dat's de way ter do eff
er fool oman ac' lax dat. In dat way
yo' kin bre'k 'em OBJ deir tricks in bout
two days
81 fought erwhile an mex up my min
dat war greet scheme, so l say ter Marse
Gawge, 'Marse Gawge, eff yo n Miss
Alice sesso, l do dat an see how yo plan
wuk'
$50 wen Chris mus kim, me n Grim
dy stan up in de pollah oh de big house,
an de wife pashon merry us, same lax
he done Marse Willie an Miss Blanche,
an after dat we all hab big time in de
hall twell mos mawnin."
81 had er house back b. de cookhouse.
whar me n Debby done lib fer mon
twenty year, an me n Clrindy we mobed
in dar. Marse Gawge done CUB us new
cheers an table an stobe, an Miss Alice
she let us hab new cyarpet, wha' she
don want i'll up staihs hall no mo-; so we
all was fixed up right smaht.
"Cl'rindy war jes' sweets psimmons
fo' mon er week. Den one day she git
outer de bald wrong way, an wen look
t her l know dat omen is mad. l dim
lax dat, case l hab my min all mex up
dat wen she 'gind at mad bsniss she got
ter hab less'n, an don lax ter CUB it
ter her. But l don say muffin, on'y mex
mp my min ter let 'er go twell she git
rassy, den shek 'er off'n dat high hoss.
'W'en we waitin on table at dinnah,
Marse Gawge no kin see dat Crrindy am
hot, an he wink at me, lax dis. After
Timer, wen he cotch me erlone, he say,
Wei Ptroosho, is yo' git de shoe
Llned? Den he laff.
"Isay, What shoe does yo' mean, sab?
| don't know muffin bout no shoe.'
Den Marse Gawge laff some mo-, an
say, 4 dim say no shoe, Petah. l mean,
is yo' had ter gin Cl'rindy's less'ns yit? l
kin see she mad wild somet'ing.'
II tell i'm 1 ain staht trainin yit. but
it look LAX hah ter right quick.
'Petah,' Marse Gawge say reel SOL
lum, don vase no time in disher 'ffaih.
De moment de trubble stahts in yo'
I T