The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-07-02

~ dollar on q Brooklyn
handicap. and fails to name the winning
steed, true tbs hard 20 part with ones
month salary, but think hove much the
man mas learned. For once he realizes
that mes not prophet and that is worth
reallzlns When a preacher storms all
over the pulpit for an hour or more on n
hot night, knocks down a hynin-boolx
and arouses the neighbors for squares
around without enticing a single back
slider 70 the fold-dlscouraging to say
the least; but then he discovers that his
| perspiring flock can't stand sound doc
| trine, and that is. worth discovering.
| Even when young man all broke up
on pretty, irresistible debutante attempts
to tell her all about IT.. gets his linglial
member tied up I'm a Knot and comes
near fainting when she informs him she'll
"be friend 10 him." why it's enough to
| make him threaten 10 throw himself into
| the river, ana adopt a plan Familiarity
| known as biting OF ones nose 10 spite
ones face just 10 get even with the
| world. But, then, he can save that six
| dollars a week for bonbons and carna-
tiOns, and settle up his delinquent laun-
dry bills. and that's worth settling 10.
SO, after all, behind the clouds the sun
| is still shining" and bit OF humor rare
! ly fails to fash from the gloomiest hours
] II was only few weeks since when the
entire family In a West End household
was in the depths of grief from the sud
den death Of a loved one. The doors and
blinds Of the house were Of course closed
tight. but the Grape on the door-knob
didn't seem TO have any effect on that
Dago gon-grinder who sauntered up I'm
front OF the residence poised his instru-
ment on It's unique wooden leg. and I'm all
the pride OF his musc-loving spirit pro-
cee1ed TO render "BOOm-de-ay" with a
series of artistic variations composed for
the special purpose OF inspiring the mon
key 10 do some peculiarly difficult Terpsl-
chOrean work. There he stood Che Dago,
not the monkey on the pavement imme-
diately In front Of the chamber of death,
and soon succeeded In collecting around
him all tho street urchlns In the neigh
borhoOd who watched with intense in
terest the fetching movements Of the ami
NAL from which evolutionists claim that
man descended while the notes from his
most popular classic selections hOated
out in quick succession upon the silent
evening zephyrs. Presently n woman
rushed from the front door and threw her
hands into the air frantically. The Dago,
however mistook the sign, and sauntered
up smlingly. holding out his hat. He was
deeply disappointed when some one in
formed him that there was n dead man I'm
the house, and he'd better 'mOve on"
with his screeching, screaming. shrieking
crank-instrument If he had any respect
for his personal wel-belng and that Of the
monkey with him. He moved on. A
square below heard the frivolous strains
OF 1.-THE Skirt Dance" issuing from the
instrument I'm volumes sufficient TO resur-
roo II
less than sheer sacriege 20 laugh AT such
performance. but II you could have wit
messed the expression Of mingled limo
cence and surprise on that Dagos physl-
ognomy you would have at least smiled
out loud though your mother-ln-law ar
rived that evening for n months. visit.
When l was a very small boy. Ike most
small boys I was irrepressible-at least
I was, unlike many so-called society
women. not pressible. / used to sit on
my high stool an hour after each meal
and srrayed in a big Bingham apron
most completely smeared with samples
Of the MENU think how I would like 10
be copper and carry a billy, thereby
putting all the small boys within the
circle Of my acquaintance q was on inu-
mate terms with every urchin for miles |
around upon their P's and Q's. II was !
a glorious thought, and hIyd my tender |
imagination TO a pitch that induced me |
10 form a temporary friendship with |
several OF the blue coats at the old First |
station.
Approaching my majority | conceived |
the idea of becoming a young society |
man. This dream soon vanished into
thin air." for it was a problem never
solved how 10 store away a sufficient
Of a l..
TO keep up with the young social leaders,
and at the same time insert the latch
key IN its proper place. thereby proving /
myself hero In the late unpleasantness
(hicl in the morning.. Besides. | never
went TO boxing school, and a difficulty
on a moonlight excursion might cause me
10 view an entire solar System during an
Early morning set-to on CANDLES Hill.
The months grew into years, until / de-
cidcd that the only way 10 realize my |
dream and become a sport was 20 join
the City Council II doesn't require lucre
10 be a heavy sport when you are once
elected 10 "A seat I'm this honorable body.
Beavers are furnished you free Of charge;
urgent invitations to attend swell suppers
40 a European Hotel are daily occur
-ences. box parties I'm New York become
rs common as former seats In the pea
lut gallery in Richmond, not 10 speak
Il the Havana cigars, whisky cocktails
and trips 10 Brooklyn bridge and the
3owery My reader. II you want 10
realize your ideal in sporting life, secure
IN official seat in n city Council. and
~ all means stand I'm with" the chair
nan, and get yourself appointed a MEM
)er OF the Grounds and buildings Com
nittee. The problem then Is solved. You
ire a sport and a public official all at
,nce. Oh. II I could just stop picking up
title thoughts for nay diary. and become
member Of the City Councill II vas
always my dream TO be a sport and wear
/ beaver.
Speaking Of news-gstherers reminds me
an experience one OF these inquisi-
I've pcrsonages had which doesn't speak
4 glowing terms for his religious cnthu-
asm. The scribe. who sometimes uses
nom de plume that would lead you 90
eieye that he's not quite so spherical
rom an anatomical standpoint as
,rtain friend OF mine who presides over
le OF the city courts, arrayed himself
his choicest articles u wearing apparel
Sunday or two since and sailed forth
it'll a borrowed prayer-boOk and
)ung lady friend 10 All Saints church.
he DRIFT Of his thoughts however. ike
at OF more than one young man Ia Rich
ond who attends the sanctuary, tended
ore towards romantictsm than splritu- F,
ism. And 1t came 10 pass that while J
e preacher spake after these words, !
ying, Here endeth the second lesson" :
hold. the scribe did sketch upon tho I
Lck Of his card divers illustrations. And q
nong these, 10! there was picture OF Q
old man and an old woman. Ana :