The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-11-23
WIT AND HUMOR.

The best view of charity may be OBJ
tanned through benevo-lenses.-U Uiston
| County Standard.
You can't eat your cake and have it,
too. But it's different with an onion.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Making love is a game that two can
play at. When there are three it is
work.-1eras Siftngs.
A quarter in the pocket will buy
more groceries than dollar some
body owes you.-Ra,n's Horn.
There are so many people who never
expect to get what they ask for in
prayer meetlng.-Ram's Horn.
The bald-headed man is blessing
in more ways than one. He never gets
his hair cut Saturday night. Dubois
Courier.
A famous dressmaker has designed
a coming-out-gown. 1t looks it. ac-
cording to the pictures.-NeU Orleans
Ptcaytt,se.
| Mrs. 147-Was that man who just
went out a friend of the familyP" Mrs.
l49-Oh, bless you, no; he's my hus-
band.-Vogue.
Mrs. Dogood-How did you get to be
such an inveterate liar? Dusty Rhodes
i took it up to break myself of slut
tering.-M Y Times.
He-Has the young man a good rep
reputation of being millionaire.
Detroit Free Press.
"Did Goithard inherit anything from
his father?" Il guess he did. He says
he was born with on appetite for
liquor. IN. Y. Press.
Frank-Do you know how can cure
May of loving me? Belle-No; if she
loves you her case is plainly hopeless.
Kate Fields Washington.
wright--What do you think of
my play? Truthteller-I beg pardon.
but it is not calculated to provoke
thought.-BOston Transcript.
A horse is not good for much until
he is broken. 1t does not follow, how
ever, that it is to mans advantage to
be broke.--BoSton Transcript.
Mrs. de Style-How do you manage
to get servants to wear caps? Mine
| won't. Mrs. de Fashion, hire a
| policeman to admire them.-London
Million.
"How do you like your alarm clock?"
asked the jeweler. First rate" "You
didn't seemed pleased with it first"
NO. But it's broken now Wash
tngton Star.
Merchant-Do you think I could sell
much liquor among those tribes were
to take it there? Traveler-O, no.
They are very little civilized as yet.
Detroit Tribune.
Clara-How did you like the color
in Mrs. Van Wyke's new tea-gown?
Maude-Weren't they q trife weakp
Clara-Yes. She got 1t to match her
tea.-The Cloak ReUieW
"Sorry I've no better quarters to in
| vite you all to, Mrs. Quiverfull!" "Ah,
| you should marry, Capt. Syarks! If
you'd get better half you'd have bet
ter quarters, too!'-LondOn Punch.
Cutting-"Hair's very thin, SIR" at
was thinner than that thirty years
ago." Indeed, sir, you surprise me.
Why, you don't look more than 80
now, SIR" Thirty yesterday" -
Judy.
| "The scent of violets make Patti so
hoarse that she can scarcely speak,"
said Gasser to Chinner. That evening
Mr.. Chinner took home large bunch
of violets to Mrs. Chinner. Y.
| Press.
| Upson Downes-New York is GER
tainly growing moral. Rowne de Bout
Il should say SO When fellow goes
| fo mir 10 l,nt
preachers and Sunday-school teachers.
| Puck.
$50 should make you very happy
by accepting you, Count?" "HappyP"
All, mademoiselle, | should die wiz ze
happiness" Really, CountP You al
most tempt me to say Yes. ."-Brooh-
Ign Life.
Penelope-You have been engaged
before? Ten Broeck-Yes. Penelope
Then how am l to know that you are
sincere? Ten Brock CATER painful
pause)-I can bring around my bills.
| Truth.
"But, Jack, the ring won't 60 on my
engagement finger" well, I'm sor-
ry, Pen, but we'll have to call the en-
gagement off. 1 can't have that ring
altered for every girl who wears it,
| n. Y. Herald.
"Ilove you deeply, Ethel. l cannot,
will not live without YOU" very
well, Mr.. Bronson. l will send a
| broken pillar of roses-or would you
prefer the omission of howerS2-P d
S. S. Co.'S Bulletin.
The Prince of Wales, we are told,
| IL, l. f. eli Of h..on Il
and sausage five mornings out of
on the sixth he is not at his wurst.-
Philadelphia Ledger. ...4
q fought you said you wanted to
measure the force of me blows"
said the pugilist to the writer on sports.
Il do" well, dat amt no punchiu'
machine" Il know it. It's = lung
! tester"- Washington Star.
Customcr-This overcnat you sold
me last fall is worn SO thin | can al
most see through it. Dealer-Iaw.
Dot ees our patent sanitary overgoat.
Ven YOU leaf it off in der spring, you
vofi catch cold.-N. T. Heck',.
Hoop skirts! The idea! How can
they expect us 10 lie graceful in tiiem?"
Il don't know. There's one consola-
tion, though. We can be as ungrace-
full as we please without anyone know
my he difference. e."-Isdtdsap0lts Jour
I-ndi
NO. sir" said Farmer Begosh.
e'Tain't no use to argy calamity poll
:, ics ter me. | amt one o. the people
that thinks er man has got ter believe
the country's goin' ter ruin in order
ter have its welfare at heart Wash
isgt0R Star.
We'll. Charlie" said the nurse the
other day TO 9-year-old Boston boy,
you're an uncle now; you've just had
| = little nephew as that SOP" said
l Charlie with a blase air. "Wcll, / sup
t,nS,. I'll l,va I'm .ri va Tho LITTLE ip pua 7