Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1893-05-14
SUICIDE MADE EASY.
Scientific Research Has mt Length Fer.
fectsd tho Art of Self. Distraction.

fectsd tho Art oil Seif-Destructions
II have solved the problem. and future
generations will bless my name." said the
philosopher. and his face wore look of
mingled conplacency and triumph. Not
that care great deal what future genera
tions may do" he continued.
What problem have you solvedr"l
asked.
i've taken from death i.s sting. andthe
little instrument / have here will make
the act of dissolution a positive pleasure.
at solves all problems nicely. easily,
and pleasantly. Death. instead OF being
an object of dread. may now be welcomed
with as much Joy "a you for instance enjoy
q clean, comfortable bed after o hard
II will explain It. To thousands Of hui
man beings death is far preferable to life
If only they can be induced TO see il. The
pain. the physical suffering attendant
upon the act OF dissolution deters them
from lust giving up the struggle and
making room for those who are left behind
to carry on o more hopeful fight for an en-
durable existence.
My invention is founded on that king
of forces. electricity, and in brief is this !:
Tho subject is tired of life: he is out or
work, with no chance of employment; his
sweetheart has forsaken him for some
moro favored sutton he has taken too
much wine and the future looks black to
him.
AFRAID TO DIE.
"In short, he wants TO die, but Is afraid.
He comes 70 mo and for a small fee put
him in the way of taking the lastlourney
with foretaste of Heaven
You see here o common electric clock;
then you see there are two wires. one from
either side; the ono leads TO powerful
nd
number of volts IL IS deemed necessary To
insure instantaneous death.
This DYNAMO. of course, is hidden. In
fact, anything which would be the least
suggestive of unpleasant things il abso-
lutely barred from-shall call IL my sui
eide parlors!
The other wire leads to this bed in the
corner. The bed itself is one Of the most
important pieces of the machinery. 1t Is
TO be made by electrical experts for the ex-
press purpose for which 1t Ia intended. and
while no effort is TO be spared 10 make II
as attractive and luxurious rs possible tho
general idea of utility will not be sacri-
feed in the slightest degree.
Attached to the head of the bed in such
position that ii will not cause any incOn-
yenlence. but will be "a sure Is the hand OF
fate, which In truth it III measure will be,
there IL a head-piece. to which the second
wire will be attached. At the foot will be
q piece equally as unobtrusive and equally
as effective. To this will be attached u
ground wire. making the circle complete.
I'm the clock itself there Is TO be q
piece of simple mechanism much on the
order of that in an alarm-clock. Through
this the clock can be set for certain time
and when that time comes the connection
between the two wires IS made, the pow
erful current Is sent whirling through the
I Il n m
thing which interrupts its course.
THE CREAM OF TIE IDEA.
That's all simple. you say. SO is. and
is not particularly new and pleasant. Now
comes the cream OF my idea.
"Our friend seeking oblivion comes TO
me- As you know. | am a physician by
training. | make n careful examination or
him and am able TO tell TO minute how
large a quantity of given narcotic 1t will
take to send him into INCONSISTENCIES IN
| given time.
81 give him this dose and no sets tho
clock for tho given time He takes his
place on the bed. As he does so mocha
nism is set in motion which reveals copies
of the masterpieces OF art, both painting
and sculpture, so that the sense of sight 10
delighted.
AT the same time tho most perfect au-
| tomato musical instruments obtainsble
discourse the sweetest music phono-
graphs, which have been charged with the
most enhancing songs of the best singers,
ioin tho heavenly chorus. The sense OF
hearing Is charmed.
Invisible ceusors burn with the most
delicate aud subtle perfumes. satisfying at
| once the senses of taste and smell"
by httle mechanism / have discov-
cred the way 10 counterfeit in some
measure that most delightful of all sensa-
tions-a woman's kiss. AS the patient
sinks into Inconsistencies with every
sense gratifed. just when tho power 10
| fee. is about to leave him, he can feel the
sweet warm breath of the woman tor
whose loss perhaps he has sought death
on his face and her lips pressed to his"
"Jhen cOmes-whati.
| II do not know. All l know Is that
there is no more waking. no more pain, nc
more sorrow. SO far as mortal mind eau
| know II 10 the end.
| Il propose az once to interest philan-
thropists in my invention, and when you
| get tired OF giving your valuable aid 70
| getting out tho greatest newspaper III the
world I'll be in position TO aid you IN
your praiseworthy aim with neatness and
| dispatch-for small consideration, oil
course"