The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-02-12

ctu0o Sno world began women nave IN
msn. Yet II is a. easy to ovsrrate
the indusnce OF the sex as to underrats IL, a.
q girl who marries a man TO reform him
generally discovers. II is a vitality impor-
taut question that women have pondered
with tears and prayers: How shall a wife
keep her influence over the man who has
won hsr2
Every bride knows her power; every wife
comsa 70 know her weakness. a good pro-
portion Of the hesrtbreak of early married
life il due to the fsrmsnt of this knowledge.
The Door child whose lover gave up his
cigars and his club with such angelic meek
ness. dnds shat her husband oan smoke like
. chimney, and leaves her alone nights in
order TO spend the evening with his men
friends. She. imapines that hs cares less
Tor her than he did, which is a mistake. In
most cases; seven out of ten men love their
wives better than their sweethsarts. II Is
simply that her presence is not the absorb
Ing excitement that it was when love
Was new. The chances are that the
wife is become a dozen times moro
necessary to the man than ever
the swsetheart could have been. He would
feel her death far more keenly, but he does
not need to adjure his heart to sit stilr'
whenever his fancy summons her image.
In short, she is become the bread of exist
ence in place of the elixir. Now. most Of
rs who have sense would prefer to be bread
rather than elixir; but there is no question
that more fuss ia made over the elixir.
The heart Of woman turns with q home
sick ysarning to the delicate courtesy, the
tenderness, the thousand endearments Of
shat 0nNhAnkAd TINA whAn har hrGhAnH WQa
her lover. How to keep him her lover?
There ID only one halfway house whore
love. IN his swift progress from into1ioa-
ton to indifference, may be arrested and so
happily entertained that he will rest con-
tented until death come to summon him;
that resting place for lovo is friendship.
You remember Chateaubriand's dreary
description of a lovers letters-so dreary
because 30 real? "Lo! one morning, some
thing almost imperoeptible steals on the
on the front of an adored woman" l will
not 20 on with the bitter sentences, you
know how they end: ~ love you is merely
an expression of habit, a necessary torn,
the I have the honor to be- Of the love
io..ss; %antioipat ah' is p rasher 'a dreaded. no
writing has become a fatigue. y y y
What has happened? Is 1t a new attach
ment that begins when an old ono ends?
No; II is love dying in advance of the OBJ
ject he loved. We are forced to own that
the sentiments Of man are subjected to the
effects of a hidden process; the fever of
time that creates lassitudes also d~issipates
Illusion, undermines DUR passions, withers
QuE Love. changes our tlocks and our years.
1here is but one execution to this hun an
infirmity. Sometimes in a strong soul
there OCCURS a love firm enough to trans
forrn fkualf irt0 mn I'm ro Srion a "a frianSchjr
= y Then neutralizing the weakness
of nature it acquires the immortality Of
prinoiple!'
Chauteaubriand, whose absorbing friend
ship for one woman lasted all his life. may
b. called a competent Witness. He was
Madame Recamier as complete a sentiment
as ever a lover of twenty penned: "All
other things are old stories; you are all
want to see."
But how shall a woman make her hun.
band her friend?
There is one indispensable quality Of
happy friendship that many women neRlee
interest. Assume that the wife has hel
husbands respect; assume, further, tina
she makes him comfortable Ga matter o.
vast importancel. all the same, the poo
fellow, when home, may be bored to death
AoubO 10 tSllSdtiui WIG uluuoT adl
aroused all his yiftuous instincts by III
excellence; madame, his wife. possessor o.
all the virtues, looks very pretty over hsl
embroidery: but-but-after she has tole
him about the baby's stretching out its LITTLE
arms, and Tommy's wonderful clevernes
in the kindergarten and the stupidity o.
Emma. the waitress, and the perfectly
awful way" the new furnace consume coal
there falls q pause like q wet blanket. H,
cannot spend a whole evening over tn,
newspapers, even the folios that we 81
name. Madame does not care a rap TO,
politics. she does not understand bushes!
(and after certain memorable efforts to en-
tighten her. he feels that he does not wan
the martyrs crown enough to continue hel
financial edpcation). she is not fond o.
games, and he Ia not fond of books, so, aftsI
q while he kisses her, and goes off dow,
'ttown'' on buEin ess-at the club.
How many women hate that impersona
rival and. in their minds. teacher OF all tn,
small vices-the club. They honestly be
love that If their particular naturally viz
tuous Tom. Dick or Harry were not lures
away by that detsstsble club he wouI,
spend every evening in the week at homo
1t ia in vain to point cut to suoh womel
that some of the most devoted husband
belong to clubs. or that, in general, the re
spectacle clubs distinctly discourage hiQI
play; or that innumerab!e times they tax
the burden of hospitality off her shoulders
tSs~ StNSp Ao Shp III
only distinction is that some clubs ar
wiokeder than Others.
Were she NJ wise a woman as she often 1
good, she would look about her to discovs
among her friends what women most sue
cessfully hold their own against tn
outside tsmpters of their husbands. Oh
would throw her theories into the vast
basket, and make a fresh set OF facts see,
by her own eyes. think she would dis
e~over-this. at least, ID what one humbl
observer has discosered-that unlss,
woman is interesting to a man, she came
permanently hold him.
j once knew a distinguished political
whose wife was lis private secretary an,
best helper. Do you imagine they wer
bored II left alone for an evening? AS
matter OF fact their mutual affection wa
envied by other couples.
Many men, however, like to BIS distracted
amused. soothsd. even know one nobl
woman that became nm amateur photo
grapher to help her husband.
But n wise woman, again, has auoths
quallty. quite ga necessa y in friendship q
interest: the quality that some one hs
called the oil Of the machinery of life
tact. such II woman is AVA 9 that ''absens
makes the heart grow forder" and thl
her husband will love her and value he
all the more for occasional losses of her q,
ciety. LET him so to his club, now an
then" said the wife of she most dsyote
husband l know. He always hears som,
thing amusing. and lie likes to tell it to NJ
aI rpuNh IA like Ia Eeerpt Ih.. = -