St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-02-05
HOW TO MANAGE A WIFE.
The Best Way Is to Let Her Man
age You.

The Best Way Is to Let Her Man
age You.
AS a good many of our young readers
have been married during the last
twelve months, and still larger number
hope to be in the next twelve, we trust
that the subject we have chosen for this
mornings meditation may prove inter
esting to them, says the Charleston Is.
c. News and Courier. 1t is related that
young man who was about to be mar
ried recently called Oh Rev. Dr. Deems,
Of New York, and requested his advice
as to the best method of managing
wife. ~ gu manage Il horse, sir" the
doctor replied Indignantly, but you do
not manage a wife" As the good doc
tor is'someWhat of humorist, he doubt
less added mentally, though they often
manage us"
We are rot informed whether. the III
quisitive youth skunk away abashed or
remained to put his question in some
less offensive form. If he pursued the
Intercourse we would be glad to hear
what advice he received from the rev.
erend gentleman, whose opinion on any
subject is so we'll worth attention. In
tereSt in this subject is by no means
confined to the newly married, how
ever. Even though we be about to Gel
citrate our silver wedding, or have long
since done So it is probable we might
gather few hints from the doctors
talk with his young friend, since it is
very sure that no man ever succeeded
in answering that question to himself i'll
a perfectly satisfactory manner.
From time immemOrial the problem
of how to manage d wife has been
matter of anxious thought With nus
bands of every land and age, aud we
have yet to hear of one that made
complete success of it. Bluebeard, who
is generally held up as an example of
ferocity aud sternness, imagined he had
solved the difficulty when he cut off the
heads of his various wives and hung
them III his closet but that was only a
brief triumph of brute strength over
WOmanly weakness, and he found in
Fatima, his tenth Or twelfth BRIDE wife
who was more than 4 match for him.
Mythology assures us that even the gods
themselves, with all their supposed
wisdom, were quite as pOWerleaS as
mOrtalS when it came TO this matter.
Despite JoYe'S frOWnS and eyeT-ready
tmunderboltS. he made but Il sorry
figure in his efforts TO manage Juno,
and whenever he was particularly anX-
iouS to gam his point 1t was necessary
for him to resort to some crafty means
of coerciug or deceiving her. Where he
failed it would have been presumDtu-
Gus for Homer to have made any of his
heroes more fortunate, and So Clytem-
neStra, Helen, Penelope and the rest of
the Grecian wives followed their own
sweet wills and kept their husbands in
hot water continually.
If we turn from fiction to reality we
are forced to conclude that the early
writer's were drawing upon their own
experience of human nature in depict
ing the lives Of their heroes and hero
ines. This inability to manage their
wives has been Inherited by men
through hundreds of generations. The
very first husband on record made a
miserable failure i'll his attempt to gov
ern Eve, and ended, as his countless de-
scendantS have ALWAYS done, by allow
ing Mrs. Adam to twist him around her
| little finger with disastrous cOnSe-
quences to them both. Abraham, Isaac
and Jacob were ali notably in
capable of ruling their households.
and if their kinsman Lot had
| had his wife in better training
| he never would have allowed her to
look back at Sodom. But 1t is useless
| TO enumerate any more especial cases
when we remember that Solomon, so
| renowned for his wisdom in everything
| else, never discovered the secret OF how
to manage his multitudinOuS wives, but
allowed them to lead him into all man
| ner of heresy and Schism. And as it
was III the days of SO'OmOn so it has
| been without exception ever since. until
| it has ended in men universally acknOWl-
| edging this weakness and always speak
| ing respectfully of their wives as my
better half" And the fact of their sub
! lection to home rule has embodied itself
in many a homely proverb synonymous
with 1.-THE gray mare being the better
| horse"
1t is very amusing to any one who is
| familiar with the ways of the world to
| hear how particular some young men
| are that their bride should pronounce
| distinctly the little word ''obeY" of the
marriage service. We have even known
| ministers when they had not heard it
clearly or had any suspicion that the
lady was Intentionally eYading the OBJ
noxous word, pause and repeat it sig
nifcantIy. Alas, how vain are ali such
attempts to change the course Of nat
| ure! AS we'll might one try to stop a
crevasse on the Mississippi with a
single sod as to oppose little word
| like that to the course Of Woman'S
| will. And that man makes fatal mis-
| take at the very outset Of his married
| life who allows his wife to perceive that
! he is more anxious that she should
"obey" him than about her loving and
honoring him. 10 realize this is enough
to arouse all the opposition in her ma
| ture, and he may be very certain that
whether she said ''Obey" or not she has
not the slightest idea of doing it unless
it happens to suit her pleasure occasion
| ally. Should any VentureSome youth,
outside of North Carolina, think to play
Petruchio to his wife's Katherine, he is
more likely to land i'll a divorce court
than to induce her to say with the lat
ter:
am ashamed that women are SO simple
| To offer war where they should kneel for
| peace;
| Or seek for rule, supremacy and sway
| When they are bound TO serve. love and
obey.
From all this it would seem, then, that
the very best way to manage wife Is
to let her manage you, since she is
bound to do so whether you like it OF
not. Or, if you are domestic Machla-
velIi, you may possibly succeed in de-
ce wing her into the belief that she is
doin as she likes, when in truth she is
o. yng your uneXpreSSed will. This
poll is so difficult, however, and re-
uu.res such conSummate tact and eternal
Vigilance, that it IS perhaps easier tc
submit to mans common lot and do as
your wife wills.