The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1893-05-20

the keenest tests of character
appearance in the girls life
disturbing elemeut-a lover.
How many women are able
back upon the last year spent in
fathers house without twinges @
reproach? How little was done to
and cheer the mother whose tender
then appeared so light thing as
trasted with lovers rhapsodies! "
opportunities for self improvement
lightly set aside in those days of
dreams! How little the safe, shelter
life, with it's freedom from care
valued! Dear girls, if you would ha
your engagement the preparation for
happy married life, in which there az
no stings of memory and conscience
think on these things. First, you cannos
afford to injure your health by late hours
and excessive demands upon your nerv.
GUS vitality. 1t is quite as we'll to leave
some Of the wooing to be done after
marriage, and not to suffer your lover to
fall into the condition of Mr.. Hale's tired
double, who could only murmur, $50
much has been said, and on the whole,
it has been SO we'll said. that l will not
further occupy the time" Too many
girls suffer the fance to engross their
every thought, and exchange the girlish
birthright OF the joy and freedom of
content for the pain and restlessness of
an exactng affection.
There is such a thing as spending too
much time and strength upon dainty
personal belongings and household plen-
ishings which are being made against
the wedding day. Remember that in
Little Women Mrs. March tells her daugh
ters how she used to suffer during the
first lonely weeks in her new home
because there was absolutely nothing to
do, and how anxious she became for
something to wear out.
There is second thought: "While
lew engagements are marred by malice
or active unkindness to others, many are
tainted by what has been called the
great sin of social Observation-Disclosures
Many foolish lovers, in the selfishness of
their satisfaction, forget every other love,
every other duty. 1t seems quite right
to them that the interests of every other
mortal shall serve their interests, and
that two homes shall be filed with
sorrow that they may build their home
upon their ruins. So the daughter dis
regards the just claims of her family,
and cannot see the duty which her fiance
owes to his own people.
Few girls realize how hard it is for
mother to give up the son upon whose
strength and love she has counted for
the years to come. Particularly is this
the case if that mother is a widow. The
devotion of ber son has been like the
after glow of her own romance, and has
kept her young in heart. She couldsnot
let 90 of her hold on life while her son
needed he. SO much; but now her boy
seems swallowed up by another family,
adopted into another home. See sees
little of him and while two thoughtless
young people are having what the
children call "a beautiful time," very
lonely sadhearted woman Is grievipg
over the truth of the old adage, "My
sons my son till he gets him wife,"
A noble tactful girl will encourage her
fiance to spend some of his evenings at
least with his mother. She will guard
him against himself and prevent his
making those peculiarly masculine
blunders which often lay the foundation
for unpleasantness between the daughter
in law and the mother in law. The
truly happy wife is she who has the
hearty good will and backing so to speak
of her husbands family. Kindly con-
sideration of their claims during the
engagement will in most cases win these
for her.
The fourth point to consider is this:
There is nothing more desirable than
that wedding should be greeted with
cordial good wishes from friendly lips
and hearts. A girl makes great mis-,
take who neglects her former associates
because she happens to be in love.
Wisdom suggests that she try harder
than ever before to win and to hold the
respect and regard of those who have
known and loved her for years. Many
life long friendship has been broken
because girl became so engrossed in
her lover that she had no time nor
thought for those with whom she used
to be intimate. 1t sometimes happens
too that there is a difference In the
treatment OF the relatives OF the iance
before and after the engagement is an
companiorship were eagerly sought;
now both are practically ignored. The
inference is one which every girl of
delicacy and refinement cannot but wish
to avoid. 1t is also mistake to suppose
that in any condition of life social usages
can be violated wish impunity. An
engaged girl sometimes does not try to
make herself agreeable in general society
because as she says, her market is made.
| Iu this way she loses valuable acquaint-
ances whom at some future day she
intimates, and lessons the chances of a
happy social future.
There is one plant often rooted in the
days of an engagement which brings
forth bitter fruit in married life and that
| is lack of proper reticence about family
matters. There is q tendency on the
part of the beloved to pose as a martyr.
| perhaps because pity is AKIN to love" "
| The real or fancied short comings of the
relatives are dwelt upon. Perhaps the
| fiance is told that none of her lover g
relations care for him or she in turn
declares that she is not appreciated in
her home. Many man has wondered
why his wife did not like his father,
fors citing that before marriage he told
her enough about the dear old soul to
ma ke her detest him forever. Now how
ever he is angry because she does not
love what he has taught her to abhor
A wi fe notes with concern the contempt
her husband shows for some membe rs
of her family overlooking the fact that
her good man is simply resenting their
supposed i'll treatment of herself in her
girlhood days.
While all mystery about an engage
ment is to be deplored, and the secrecy
condemned which leads to the withhold
ing of confidence where it should be
given, it is a mistake for girl to talk
much even to an latimate friend of the