Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-06-09
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

Small talk--'Yes" and "No."
A lump sum--Damages for club
bing.
Whatever ones lot in life, he should
have good deeds to show for it, ---Phila-
delphia Times.
We never knew a man SO good that
his wife didn't often say: "Oh, pal"
--Atchison Globe.
When d man finds woman that
there is nothing too good for, he wants
her to take him. Galveston News.
1t wasn't until woman started in to
improve her mathematics that she be-
gan to count for much. Troy Press.
Said the hen, 'Thoughts expressed
In slang will not do,
But it must be confessed,
l am laying for you"
Washington star
II will now write something in
light and airy vein, said the clerk
who makes out gas bills. Washington
Star.
Don't offer to bet with an elevator
boy unless You mean business He has
way of taking you up.-Buffalo
Courier.
He-"No, they don't pay me more
than am worth" She--"How in the
world do you manage to live on it?"--
Funny Folks.
Singers must be particular about
their diet. This is owing to the close
relation between their board and their
timbre. ."--Binghamton Leader.
Life is real, life is earnest,
But 1t might be more sublime "
If man were not kept busy -
Dodging microbes all the time.
Washington Star.
Treebag-''D ''Did Joblots leave any
last request" ?" Humplate eyes; he
wanted the funeral procession to drive
around by the way of the ball grounds.
p. & S. Bulletin.
Nervous Passenger-"Arey you sure
there is no danger?" Officer---''Not a
bit. The Captains just gone to take
nap, because it's too foggy to see any
thing. p. & s. Bulletin.
Probably the first cooking school
product on record is the famous pie
whose four and twenty black birds
were SO done that they began to sing
as soon as it was opened. Washington
Star.
Burleigh--''It' my opinion that
Brown hasn't half the brains he thinks
he has. Wagleigh Probably not;
but did you ever think how nicely he
could get along with even less than
that ?"-Detroit Tribune.
Nervous Passenger ION New Haven
steamer)-sThere's u very peculiar
noise in the water tonight Do you
notice it, Captain?" Captain-''Yes
madame that's the reg'lar Long Island
Sound. New York Mercury.
If in search of a name that's bound to be
lucky
Let the next battle ship be called the Ken
lucky,
For it's sure that her guns would do terrible
slaughter.
And though shot full of holes she would never
take water.
Chicago Record.
Cumso Ito Threds) )--''Not counting
you, how many clerks are there in this
store who can't tell the truth p Threds
(highly indignant Sir !" Cumso-
"Oh, well, don't be cross about it.
How many are there; counting you,
then?"
A Permanency A young countrywo-
man in Burgundy, writing to the parents
of little girl whom she has in charge,
wound up her letter in this affectionate
strain: 81 remain, with respect, mon.
sieur and madame, your wet nurse for
life. lie Phare du Nord.
In Picture Gallery: A-"That's
newly married couple" B"How do
you know?' Ale is always step
ping on her dress" B-''What does
that prove?" A-''After he has been
married some time and found out what
a dress costs, he will be more careful.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
She--'Do you love me as much as
when we first became engaged?"f
He-"As much? Why, my darling, I
love you thousand times more" She
tanxiously)--sI don't know, George,
wish were sure of that" He--"You
can be, dear. Just think of all have
invested in you. Brooklyn Life.