Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1893-11-15

Tirainia frrf gross.
Humorous.


out
Ellie Tired and sleepyl-l suppose 1t
thinks it's time something went out.
eli you don't look our" said the excl d
stranger, c,lching the policeman at the
crossing by the arm aud jerking him to-
wark the sidewalk. you'll get run over
You're standing right in the middle of the
street ~
McCarhy-O,d Brown declares you are
the mott entertaining talker in the club
What do you usually talk about in his COM
pany'
McI,ormick-O Brown.
Rivers, you smoke TO access That the
third time this morning I've seen You light
a fresh cigar with the stump Of the oil one.
I call that disgiacefu extravaganza"
No, Banks, IT'S economy. Saves
matches"
Mrs. HuuiwelI-Dear me. thought III
fund lot of bargains here.
"Are the prices away upr'
Mr-. IInntwrll-No; but they are all
useful articles
Feaihersiune-' Won't y'u play some
thing? Mr. Tutterer says you play beauti-
fully"
Miss P.nkerly-"If he likes to hear me
PLAY 81 much. why doesn't he call ofienrr?
Fealherstone-"IIe says YOU always in
sist upon taikingf'
Policeman TON Stony Island avenur) Hi,
there, hayseed, VIII, are you selIin' there
o the sidewalk furs
Uucle Joshua-I'm waitin' for a man
who wanted to take my watch to jewelers.
To see if some dern scamp didn't swindle
me on it.
"Hullo, Old man. IIow's it you're dining
At the club? Thought your wife told me
had the Browns aud Smiths to dinner
his evening
"No; that was yesterday. This evening
he has the odds aud ends J"
Ctiz.n-lIave you been to the board OF
tradr9
Vi,itor-No, but | heard the DAhomey
people sing.
"lIave you any Holsters today asked
Mrs. Honeymoon.
Yes, ma'am," said the fisherman, there
i, fresh lot
"Oh, dear, me, don't want them; they
ire green. Haven't you any ripper on''
tlan ihose?"
Sweet Grl-"The man marry must be
blth brave and brainy."
Adcring Youih-"When we were OIL
sailing and upset saved you from a wa
try grave"
'rhat was brave, admit, but it was moi
rainy"
Eyes it was. l upset the boat on pur'
,ore."
Lorinda B'ueberry- Did you 'njoy you.
,e' at the Worlds Fair, Mi-tsh Sumine?
Cal Somiue-Wall. candy, Miss Lprin-
Ia, | can't say I | did. Dere's sich heap
,lng% fer people ter look ut dat didn't
tract 20 sorrer 'trn.ion ertall.
And this is the State pcnitentiary, is
?" inquired the stranger who was stroll
| ing abnuts;he euyirons of Joliet. cts a
pretty fLe piece of architecture"
at depends II 6 'oi deal on how sou are
Looking at it, )" replied the man spoken to,
vinking slyly at the .bystander'.
"Ah, yes. suppose i, does" rjoined the
stranger. "How d pes it look on the inside?
Tommy-Are you going TO whip me
mamma?
Mamma-YeS, am. Tommy
T"mmy-Ynu said The other day iha
whipping never did me any good, didn't
you?
NJ, mma-l believe did
Tommy Then what's the use of whip
,ug me again?
Mr.. barley treading)-A shower of rice
throSn after bride and bridegroom in
L lyl,ud as they were starting on their
welding journey Cause the hnrse. attach
to the carriage to bit, with the result
that The bridegro," WAS thrown out and
received serious injuries
Mrs D-rley (who has been refused mon
ey for new bonnet, spit fully
warming against marriage
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An Introduction TO the Queen