Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-06-22
sprlnkles Of Spice.

sprlnlles of Spice.
THE coffee corner has been broken
and that settles the price. Lowell
Courier.
The combatants in the piano war
should hold the fortes, Philadel-
phla Record.
For the organ-grlnder it's a short
street that has no turning, --Phila-
delphia Times.
JACK HARDUP--Is there any cure
for love? Lovina Cottage-Oh, yes;
the gold cure. Puck.
The oyster is a humble creature.
1t is content to begin life at the bot
tom. --Yonkers Statesman.
ERERY boy would rather run the
lawn mower next door than the one
at home. --Atchison Globe.
The shrewd spectacle dealer al
ways endeavors to keep his customers
in sight. Buffalo Courier.
So MANY newly married people
whom the papers say are to be envied
don't look so. --Atchison Globe
GOOSE eggs have been picked up
out in Shackleford County almost as
large as hail-stones--Dallas News.
The men who gather up the collec-
tions are expected to take at least
passing interest In religious matters.
"AFTER all, murmured the artist,
perhaps the ideal figure has dollar
mark in front Of it."--Washington
Star.
YOU'VE King Alexander slgnalized
his entrance into politics by captur-
ing the primaries, indianapolis
News.
IT is odd how a railroad contractors
creditors feel safest when they know
he is making tracks. - Buffalo
Courier.
"DoEs he write to you regularly
since you became engaged" "No;
sometimes l only get one letter a
day."-Life,
IT is not so strange that the sea
breaks on the shore-the sailors gen.
orally do the same thing. Cleveland
Plain-Dealer.
ALL that has been said so far
against the crinoline is nothing. Just
wait and see the wind blow 1t up
Buffalo Courier
Miss SNIpPIT--Men are such fools!
Miss Darley-Ah, who has proposed
to you now, earY-Browning, King
& Co.'s Monthly.
"IT seems" said the barber, that
my whole life is to be spent getting
out Of one scrape into another -
Washington Star.
THERE seems to be more in heaven
and earth and In our drinking water
than Is dreamt of in our philosophy. -
Chester Pa.) News.
THERE are accidents that are Pc
culiaT to the seasons. The hallOonist
gets the worst Of 1t in the fall. -
Blnghamton Leader.
PROBABLY not all postmasters will
be removed this summer, but those
who remain may count upon an early
fall. Lowell Courier,
The SHIRT-I'm completely done
up every few days. The Peanut
Poor fellow But / am continually
roasted. -Plttsburg Bulletin.
"THIs is what / call solid comfort,
was the remark Of the young husband
when he partook Of his wife's first
sponge cake. Boston Gazette.
IT is natural enough after all that
an athlete should mount the ladder
of fame more rapidly than does the
average man. Detroit Free Press,
IT shows better discipline to have
parents take after their children than
1t does to see the children taking
after their parents. Rochester Demo
crat.
SINCE the introduction of type
setting machines, with seats for the
operators, the printers trade has lost
a great deal of its standing. Troy
Press.
A GERMAN student wrestling with
the English language rendered text
as fellows: "The ghost is willing, but
the meat is feeble. "-Educatlonal
News
A YOUNG man with pushing quail
ties can always get something to do,
even If it is nothing better than en-
cheering lawn-mower. Buffalo
Courier.
TIMID VIsIToR-Isn't that water
unhealthy? Chicago Landlord
What? That water, sir, is filed with
life and strength. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
EVERY time there is stormy
weather Plunkey goes on spree.
But he couldn't do 1t If he didn't lay
up something for rainy day. Bos-
ton Transcript.
MILKMAN alphabetically - The
milk Is little blue this morning.
Mrs. Housekeeper-It must be think
ing how everlastingly poor it is get
ting. Troy Press.
DoBBs-I never saw such a man to
exaggerate as that man Brown Is.
He overdraws everything. Bobbs-
Yes, sir, even his bank account. -
Detroit Free Press.