The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-23
HOW HE'S GOING TO THE FAIR.
The Ingenious Scheme of New York
Citizen Who Knows Chicago.
From the New York Tribune.


If you sec any good articles on the
world S fair, said the cynic, "or hear of
any good exhibits around here which are
going to be sent there, just let me know
about them, please
Much interested in the fair?" asked
the other.
Very much" answered the other
dryly.
Going to study it all up before you 90,
50 that you can see and examine things
intelligently."
Exactly"
Aren't you afraid it will detract from
| your pleasure?"
Not in the slightest"
| Don't YOU think half the pleasure Of
| such things consist in the anticipation,
and the other half in the surprise, the
| novelty of the thing!'
| Not a bit
80 you are grinding up on it already
| as we used to say in college when we
were getting ready for examination
| YES, sir; that's what I'm doing If
| there is anything about the buildings
| there that | don't know I'd like to hear
| every one of them. l have studied all the
maps and diagrams of the grounds and
| can redraw all the buildings for you.
| know where every statue is going to be,
| and who made it and what it is supposed
| to represent. | can describe all the
| facades, all the friezes, entablatures, the
| columns and all the other architectural
| features. ! am an expert regarding the
| marbles and the bronze work. ] can give
! YOU all the measurements of the silver
| statue. | know what and who are going
| to be in the German, the Swiss, the Rus
| sian and the Swedish villages. ! have
| taken account of every case of exhibits
| that has come from Spain. / have a care
| fully prepared list of the exhibit from the
| vatican ! am familiar with the cOlleC-
| tions of almor which have come from
| foreign nations for the fair | know all
| about the jewels which are going to be
| shown there. I can even tell you where
| the peanut stands and refreshment count
| crs will be on the grounds
"Well, " said the other, you are an en-
! thusiast. l suppose that man who is so
| interested as you in the fair will put in
| about all summer at the big show. You
| certainly have made a good start.
Il flatter myself that ! am doing pretty
well, - said the worlds fair expert.
And you are still hungry for moro
| knOwledge!'
Want every bit l can GET
when do you expect to 60 to the fair?'
MY dear friend, were you ever in Chi
| cagO in the summer
Yes, I've been there
''Were you ever in a hotter place."
'It's pretty warm sometimes O! I
| see you aren't going till fall, so you want
to be able to go through the whole business
in short order-say in a couple Of weeks
in October, when it's cool and pleasant"
pleasant, Ell? Don. you know that
| everybody will go in the fall to miss-the
hot weather! Were you ever in Chi
| cage crowd! Do you think | want to be
torn to pieces? Do you think want to
stay at hotel where they will sleep sixty
in a rooml Do you think | want to stand
around dining room for three hours.
waiting for chance to get Il seat at u
table? Do you thing | am going to get up
at o'clock in the morning to get room on
a street car when / want to 90 any where
Do you think l want to engage cabs six
months in advance at 1925 day. Go in
he fab? / guess not
"Of course. l see. Going the SPRING"
Going in the spring" howled the New
York man. Going in the spring when
Chicago is breeding place for malaria
and typhus fever, when a mans life is in
danger every time he fills his lungs with
Chicago air, when life wouldn't be worth
living under any circumstances. Not
exactly this spring.
when am l going Do you know how
I'm going to the worlds fair! About
July I'm going to start for the fair;
only I'm going to a quiet place on the sea
shore I'm going to swim, fish, sail and
take life easy. Pm going to read the
papers once in awhile, just to see how
people out there in Chicago are suffering.
I'm going to gain forty-five pounds About
Sept. ! I'm coming home, fat and con
tented, to glOat over the miserable wrecks
that have got back from Chicago. ! am
going to tell them how ! enjoyed the fair
III know all about it-more than they
will know. I'll declare the fair was a
success. Nobody will ever know that !
was not there III be in good health and
about = 900 in pocket That's the way
ism-well, that's the kind Of a patriot l.
ann