The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-04-16
RoUqaT A COLD BEIGE.
Took 1t Down to the Assay ONCE,
Where People Had Loads OF Fuu.
FTOul the Mem York Hernld

Took 1t Down to the Assay once,
Where People Had Loads ofFuu.
From the Neto York Herald
What a jay he lookedi The hayseed was
dropping out of bis pockets and his unkempt
whiskers were sporting with the wind as he
marched into the United States assay office
in Wallst and deposited upon desk big
carpet-bag, which he set down with re-
sounding bang All the clerks stood around
and grinned. 1t was the old story. "AIr.
Assay Man." he said. ~ have here gold
brick that i"
But he was interrupted with a roar of
laughter, A young man in corner nearly
| rolled on the floor with merriment. A
| bankers clerk who had come in to INQUIRE
about gold shipment giggled till he was
crimson.
sucker born every minute" he said.
'Same old yarn. You jayhawkers wouldn't
| get taken Ia so often If you read the papers.
o, Lord, what fool you must beln
The old man looked puzzled. "lf you will
kindly talk English" he remarked, you
and | will be able to understand each
other better. What do you mean by calling
| me a fool?n
"Precisely what / say" spoke up the
banKers clerk you've been taken in by the
! gold brick swindle?"
! 'Swindle, chs"
Eyes. swindle You met a man from
| California, didn'r you, who had gold brick
tied up in a red handkerchief and an Indian
with him? Man. said the brick was worth
81, 600 and he'd sell it for IS. 900, didn't hes"
He did,
20, what a lark" laughed the bankers
clerk, and every one in the office was on a
broad grin at tho mystitication of the Jaw
hawker. The Californian said the Indian
knew where there we're lot more gold
bricks and they've gone to get them. Aud
then they sold you lump of lead
about 1865 aud you've come down
here to the United States assay
| Office to have the lead analysed and
get told what a monkey you've made of
| yourself" And every one howled with
mirth.
mot SO fast, young man." objected the
| Jayhawker. "N on were right about the
Californian and the redskin selling me the
| gold brick, but there your information
| ceased. 'Iaint no bit Of lead they worked
off on me. l had a chip of it aualyzed. No,
sir. want born yesterday If am from
the country"
You had it assayed" burst out the
bankers clerk, almost exploding with the
intensity Of his grin. You knocked a cor
ner off the brick and then they changed it
on you, substituting piece of real gold cut
from SIS gold piece. That, of course, was
found to be ali right and they landed you
like an old guy, high and dry" Laughter.
mo, they didn't" protested the Jaw
hawker, I've got the genuine thing. III
bet you $500 it's real gold brick And
he pulled out the sum of money named and
threw it on the table.
There we're cries of Don't take the poor
old chump's money. He's been done once"
and "Tatn't fair TO bet on a sure thing.n
The jayhawker, however, protested.
| m ha ne Iokv
money Pm going TO spend on gold bricks,
| and if any one can fool me | want to know
| it. I'd like to take flyer on 1t, anyway"
The bankers clerk hardly liked to cheat
the jayhawker. but all the rest said that
the lesson would be worth $500 to the old
fellow.
''Il make the bet without looking at the
brick, " said the bankers CLERK. 'The terms
of it are that you've been fooled and that
you've bought a lump of lead or something ~
Money talks. Here's mine," and hethrew
$500 on the table. There were some moral
scruples in the miLds OF the crowd about
| doing" the old man up in that way, but the
majority view was that he deserved it for
| being SO fresh.
The money being deposited, the jayhaw-
| ker slowly unpacked his carpet-CaR in tine
presence Of a broad grin. There we're deris-
i've cheers as he took the gold brick from
| the many coverings be had wound round it
|
That official accepted 1t and a look of
amazement came oVer his face. |
"Gentleman," he said, "this brick will
not need any assaying. 1t was made in this
building, and it has the government stamp
upon it. 1t is worth 100000"
The jayha wker reached for the stake
money and transferred it to his pocket
The grin on the face Of the know-it-all clerk
| changed to an expression of pain as he
turned to the man nearest to him and po-
htelY requested that he kick him to the foot
of Wall street and off into the East river
The only person in the crowd Who was
smiling now was the jayhawker. Turning
to the assaYer, who had taken no part in
the proceedings he said;
| 81 had business here but / have trans
acted it, My business is exclusively with
smart young Alexis who know it all and
want 10 enlighten the old suckers. Good
day, gentlemen" He beamed upon them
for a moment and was gone.
Outside the assay Office he was Joined by
a young man who likely enough capped
his game when occasion required.
'Did il work, uncle inquired the latter,
anxiously.
Work Did it ever faill Let's 20 up to
one of the Broadway banks and you can
staff a crowd guessing and betting as to if
it's real gold. Work."
They sauntered west That old man
looked so guileless and innocent that every
second citizen they met had mind to sell
him green goods or pick MS pocket.