davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
JUST IN JEST.

Amy-'1 don't see how this woman the
papers speak about can be prosecuted for
bigamy." Mable-''She had three hus-
bands all at once, didn't shes'' Amy-
''Yes, but they were all dudes-not a man
among them Epoch
The New Rector-''L find the work in
this parish very interesting indeed Miss
Al should think you might there are
ten unmarried girls to. every man III the
congregation. Life.
delicious fresh air; wonderful invigor-
ating fresh air. You never breathed such
air in MosSachusetts' writes az enthusi-
astic youn5 pioneer who has gone to seek
his fortune in the Far West His father
replies: ''Dear Boy: You can't live on
fresh air. l inclose my check for $100,
contribution to your fresh air fund. y
Boston Transcripts.
A boy who wasn't much bigger than the
top ear ON cornstalk after a dry sum-
mer was standing on the corner of Canal
and Houston street putting away at a
cigar in the mcst vigorous manner, when
a motherly old lady stopped and placed
her hand on his head and exclaimed:
Mercy on me. but havn't you mother?"
Il has, num- he courteously replied.
and if you hain't III lend her TO you ALI
summer and not charge a cent !'-New.
York. World
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
Caught a Fly.

OF the father of the present king OF
Bavaria it is related that one day.
when two OF his cabinet ministers
called upon him with the draft of a
new law for which they required his
approval and signature. they found
him seated in his armchair. with an
open book on his knees. After read
ing the statute to his majesty the min
listers stood for long time silently
waiting for an answer. At length.
when their patience was nearly ex-
hausted. tbs king suddenly closed his
hook VH , sAnG, and exclaimed.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
UNIQUE INCIDENTS.

There were 1900 pennies found IA. a
drop a cent in the. slot" chocolate stand
at Atlantic City.
Tacoma, Wash has a well 100 feet
deep from which the wind blows continu-
ally. As there is fifty feet of water in
tbs well the source of the wind is q nays-
terry.
''Bidddord," Maine newspaper re-
ports, has a blind man-Darius, Perkins
by name-who can kill a rat or mouse
with his cane as quickly as a cat could at
tend to the job
Miss Hattie II. Kimball, who. has been
elected president of the PenHsb0ro g.
gainesville railroad, is probably the only
woman in the country who. is at the head
of steam railway.
The driver of steam tram car in Paris
recently saw a woman on the line In
front of the engine. She was paralyzed
with fear, and apparently unable tc,
move. 1t being impossible to stop head
way in time to save. her life the engineer
crawled along the side of his engine in
the hope of being able to snatch the wo-
man up away from death. He missed his
footing and falling both were ground to
atoms.
At Mobile lately mother was standing
on the gallery Of her house with her baby,
when the latter fell over the edge. The
distance to the ground is twenty feet, but
the mother, without an instant,s hesita-
ton, sprang after the baby, and both fell
to the ground at almost the same instant.
The baby, striking the mothers body,
escaped with only few bruises, but the
mother had her hip dislocated Other
wise shs was not injured.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
WATERING 4 AoRsE.


| He Csn Live = Long Time Without Food
but Must Have DrskE.
A horse can live TWENTY-FIVE DAYS
without solid food. merely drinking
water, seventeen days withoas either
eating or drinking and only Eve days
when eating solid f00d withous drink
ing. An idea prevails among< horse
men that q horse should never be. wa
tered oftener than three times day or
in swenty-four hours. This is not.only
mistaken idea but brutal practice.
A horses stomach is extremely sensi-
tive and will suffer under the least*in-
terference causing a feverish condi-
ton
Feeding horse principally on grain
and driving it for hours without water
is like giving a man salt mackerel for
dinner and not allowing him to drink
until supper time-wery unsatisfactorE
for the man.
1t you know anything about the care
OF horses and have any sympathy for
them water Them as often as they want
70 drtnk-o1ce an hour II possible
By doing this you WILL not only be
mercifui to your animals but yOu will
be- a. benefactoE to Yourself as they
will do more work; they Will hs
healthier; they will look better anal
will be less liable to coughs and colds
and will live longer.
A horse Is q great deal E5s q man.
Let him get ovegworked, OEerstSrved
or abused. and particularly for the |
want OF sutficiens drink IN warm
weather. and the consequences will |
always be injurious. Sensible hostlers
In iarge"cities- are, awakening to the
advantage; ef frequent watering.
Street-car horses. arg wateEed every
hour and sometimes oftenCT; while
they, are at. work. It is plenty of T
water that supplies evaporation or
and keeps down the tem-
Derature.
Twenty years ago. person having
l fever of any kind of pneumonia was
allowed but little water to drink. and
hen it had to be tepid To-day
practitioners prescribe all the iced
water the patient can possibly drink
Ind in addition cold banSages are ap-
'lied to reduce and control the tenn
of the. blood What Is ap- +
'licable to man. will never hurt a
lorse. Use common sense and human
ceiling. &
Don't think it is q horseand capable
I enduring any and ALI things A
river who sits in his wagon and
ashes his worn-out half-cuirried, half
ed and half-watered team should never
omplain of any abuse he may receive
rom his master or employer, for he is
over in character; harder in SYM
athy and less, noble than the brutes ,
g is driving and deserves in the
anne OF all that is human the same
as Il criminal
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
IT'S THE GARs OF HEROES.
The Scot IA. Kilt eiOod for All Wealth
ers.aad All Occasions.

! The Scot tbs Ra. Kilt Good for All Yeath-.-
erS.aud All Occaxiona
The act fOrbidding The wearing of.
the Highland dress only increased the
attachment to it, and the, poets became
more enthusiastic In its praise, says
! the Scottish Review. The most famous
l.song of tfds kind is MeDonald's ..Amn
Breacajl uallach in which he scorns /,
the English CLOTH shat Other bards-
had extoaledi when ON the persons of
their chiefs. The kilt is the .hero's !,
garb. - the soldiers true DRESS" the.
real garb, for pursuit, for putting
swift nesssin tho legs" 1t is the best
for tho chase or for going to the
church. for lying down or getting up
for protaction from the weather for,
sho wing. off shield and sword and
kee ping the gun dry-in fact for.
eve ,rything. A more humorous pro-
ductioni on the same subject is one by
Iaj n haacCOdrum. Curses on the.
king. "he says. 'that took the plaid
from as. You gave us the4
bI eeks, you fettered our hips: would
ia theE have the loose plaid the light,
active garment. fits bad wear for.
N .ght; can't stretch my legs. can t.
get any sleep; better were the ten
y ards l would put in the kilt when. I
Eise.in the morning; that's the comelY
raiment to keep off wind and, rain.
The curse of the two worlds on the,
man that put it out You
never saw a mothers son. on street or
field that is more active than SON of
the Gael, with his comely person. The
plaid above tho kilt his pistols. in
order that will not fail the spark a
shield upon his shoulder and a .slendar
sword beneath his arm; thAre is not =
lowlander ir the world that would not
fade away at the sight of him. Mhsn
the Gael gather fol the natue. with
, their sharp Spanish blades. and the
cleaning of helmets. they will pay
dearly in blood and gore and the day
of CullodsR viii be avenged.
The MacQonalds. the tailDrs Of the
red cloth, not to sew it. bat te rend it
with their sharp shearing: blades. cut
ting ears-and skulls
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05

Robert w. Heobard of the Charity
organization society, who has had
many years experience with the beg
gars of New York and has known
nearly all of the famous ones person
ally. says that an industr Gus beggar
will frequently make as much as $40
S15 a day. He has known men who
have been begging for some time to
have fortunes of so 900 and $15. 600.
'.N hat is the best game you know
Of?' l asked him.
We'll. | think blind men make the
most money. as Il rule, particularly if
they are old men.
w hat is the best location for beg
gars in the city9'
Nv herever there are women. 1t is
quite fad for the Fifth avenue ladies to
step up daintily and drop few pennies
in the hand OF a begger. People have
no idea OF the amount of money that
is squandered every year in perpetuat-
ing these paupers.
'.If we had the money that is given
each year in maintaining this race of
parasites we could rid New York of
professional beggars New York
World.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05

eSsSd and shattered.
With ink an bespattered.
Bat stu with the strength to annoy and
too bless
Loved by the eGitor.
Cursed by the creditor,
Rambling and stumbling the old hand
press.
Gone are great editors,
Patient meek creditors,
Since the far dag when il first saw the
- light;
r. Age has but lengthened it.
Riveted, strengthened it,
Made it a victor in many fight
Stars from their settir1 fall:
Men die forgetting all;
Suns-they may vanish and light NAV
grow less;
But till GabrieI-s horn shall blow,
Ages unborn shall know
That it's still in the brsiness-the old
hand press!
-Atlant4 Constitution.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
AN Orange PeeIer.

A remarkably ingenEeus and simple.
orange and lemon peeler has been in
vented by which, it is claimed that.
l. O0os oranges may he peeled without
soili9g finger or glove or losing drop.
of j.sice. The peeler is piece of wire.
nicsle- plated. very much in the shape
of button. hook. but with tiny blade
let into ths inner bend of the hook.
When the point of the hook is drawn
iato the fruit it slides between the pulp
and the peel without danger of enter.
ing either. while the blade divides the
peel easily and rapidly. after. which Il
may he removed without trouble.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
s1lsPs o. rs4R T,sg<,
4hIuss 1hss yExrs ns6lv niizsa o. 4
1afsir sayape.


i Thiugs Thst N<rs RsMv naixsa umf ikt.
r1eir sayRne
Many persoE1 have sid 81 mlskafiS
precisely the reverse Of what was ~
their thoughta says Cssselrs journal
I A workingman oailed or 4 cpunf,svs
clergyman closely related tota ducaL
house. The applicant wanted letter
OF recommendation to neighbOring
ncbleman. from whosa he hoped tu.oh-
tain employment why not 70 per-
soDalIy and see my ISrda'' the friend
asked Well you sea was the
nervous answer. Il donot like speak
ing to Lord x; he may ,beproud, ana
not care to listen to the likes Of mo
II would be quite q. diIferent thing
II il were yourself for shere's
nOthing Of the gentleraan in Fou.
Mr. Bancroft has related that dur
ing holiday jaunt in Switaerland Sir
Paul Hunter was lost But news iies
apacs and gashsrs as it goes II was
soon said that guidss were- away IN.
the mountain to find q missing man.
Somebody had seen or heard signals
OF distress Lady Hunter. safe In Tie
hotel, began to tremble for her hus--
band. But his predicament was not
so desperate after all He was die
covered. and given the necessary help.
and guidance In his descent Atdusk
Ae re~euAered the Alpine hamlet alone,
as'u nothing had happened Wishing
to- avoid notice and curious questions.
ing be had sent his guides to their
own. haunts- But as he passedz up.
through little waiting English crowd
Lady Hunter darted to meet him.
oh. Paul" she cried. i am so glad
to sess you baclxp Where have ycu
beenD Some silly man has lost him.
self ins one Of the mountains and Z
teared 1t might be you" Considerate.
( indlT but not quite-in It's literal :
ct instruction. compliment
Some comical slips of the tongue,
ar dusrts doubtful or insufficient 1nA.
Ion nation. There may be lack OF
I'M portant knowledge about the tper.-
son addressed Victor Hugo once,
net a garruloHsf notary who talketk
with hiD on literary subjects. The
awy er belonged to the provinces and
1e asked If his companion had heard
anything before he left Paris about.
Herr lanis" one Of Hugo's own plays.
hugo admitted that be had heard it
mentioned. .IS is miserably stupid
piece. Very likely" said the poet
The autAOr must be an abominable
person Ono OF my friends saw him
n the street not long ago. and in such
! state Dhe wretched creature is
learly always drunk The two
'cssed nlto"the same hotel. and what
~ the eonsternatieu Of the man
With the liSelous tongue when Hugo
Vrote his name in the arrival register
eneath his traducer's eye.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
PHrAssls Sc RuRE An.


| Aat1ReA 8esnsQtes ARe ep@ 0o1t 1og RMl-
monary INseaSas.
1 have heard IL stated that nearly Or
quite all the nuns die Of consumption,
says writer in the ST Louis Maga-
zine. Whether this is urue cannot
say, but it is well-known fact that
very many Of them fall prey to this
disease. It is also well known that
the inmates Of jalls and prisons many
OF them, die in the same way think
it is true as a popular writer and
| physician has remarked, that impure
air is prime factor in the develop
ment of tuburcuIosis. To tell the
truth, people seem to avoid pure out
door air as If it were poisonous. They
take the greatest pains to shut it out
of their dwellings, public halls
churches schools. places of business
street cars, railway carriages thea
ters and other buildings. public or pri-
vate- So that wherever we go or stay
the same thing is to be met-foul air.
We speak OF the savages as filthy,
wanting in habits of neatness and clean
liness But | sometimes think that
the great difference in this respect
between ourselves and these people is
that their fifth is mostly on the out
side. on the exterior of their bodies:
whereas. we take our impurities di-
rectly into the lungs and from there
into the circulation. We are careful
not to drink from a cup that has
touched the lips of q child with a
dirty face; but we do not hesitate to
breathe into the lungs air that is
freighted with foul human excretion.
the debris of the vital organism;
moreover. these organisms are often
stepped in tobacco, whisky and other |
noxious substances. Worse vet we |
live in an atmosphere that has been |
breathed over and over again. not |
only by ourselves but by persons it
may be- whose bodies are one mass of !
disease and corruption.
DR. Felix l. Oswald in speaking OF !
the habits of the so-called civilized |
people, says that he thinks it impossi-
bic for any one to escape the catarrh-
al and consumptive diseases at least
wholly. while we have to circulate
among people with their present
habits visit libraries or lecture halls,
or travel IN public vehicles where
the subject of ventilation is so thor
oughly ignored. Though he is aware
Of the fact that these diseases can be
often at an advanced
stage bya persistent application of
fresh air and sunshine. he condemns
IN unmeasured terms what he styles
the might air horror " and he recon-
nends an abundance of the pure arti-
;le every hour of the twenty-four. /
The German people are in advance
If US in some things At some of
heir health resorts they have tried
he plan OF having the consumptive
patient sleep all night in the open air
md in the pine woods. where the at
nosphere Is usually dry. The expert
nent is said to have been a success.
The patients slept better than they
lad been able to do in their rooms {
md the sleep itself seemed more re- {
reshing. Really, if we only knew it
ature's healing agents are all about
s-fresh air, sunshine electricity.
'ure water and other heal .hiul
gencleS and influences
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
Feund HI. Lev.a.

Old Friend We'll old boy, how
have you been getting alonea Did
you succeed as novelistPn
Mr. SOarhigh- No the puhiidhoe1
said my imagination xaa too HYeiy.
plots lacked probability. you know
so had to give it up; but I'm Aoin1
first rate.
'.Whst at?n
Writing railroad adVcrtieen
New York Weekly.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
A PhYsio.nOlsa et.

''Oh!" exclaimed Miss, Bondclfpper.
what a clever ntsn, Mr. Gilhooly is!
He is really quite D. physiognon.ist. l
was telling him. last evening that
had become quite proficient In paint
ing. and he said:
am sure of it. madame; your face
shows it. ;"
Chorus Indeed :''-Texas Siftimgs
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
The American Joke.

America " said Darweesh to one
OF the ladies. must be IA fine place and
very much like Egypt You have
corn, tobaaco. watermellons and a big
river there
And crocodiles. too " she replied
"Wa!lah," he cried in admiration;
then with slight touch of jealousy
that these blessings should be scatter
ed broadcast, he 2dded: do they eat
men,
NO only dogs she admitted.
''Ah!" he returned. e e,ulting in the
superior gastronomic taste OF the
Egyptian saurian ours eat men"
"Of course yours will not eat dogs;
they are MosIem crocodiles." she
answered referring to the Moham-
medans' avoidance Of the dog a. ain
uncleau animal.
AS one of the most lovable charac-
teristics OF the Arab is his instant
and intense appreciation of the
feeblest joke, says a writer in Scrib.
ner's Darweesh seemed much amused
and repeated with many chuckles.
Ours are Moslem crocodiles." as he
went about his daily work.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
what Streets Are Paved For.

Tax-Payer-That's very firm and
solid piece of paving you're doing
there, Patrick
City Employee-Indade an it s a
foine pace of worruk; and moighty
glad am Oh to see it.
why. does it make any difference
with you Patrick?"
I 'indade. and it does; it will give US
DOODLE the job pullin' it up."-Bos-
ton Courier.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
Had "A RaY Off.

Mrs. Out-of-town Ito near neigh
hor): Such trouble I've had to day {;
Pm nearly dead.
Neighbor: Dear me, What's hap
pened?'
My husbands S watch stopped last
night"
Il don't SEQ why that"
No neither could we. 1t never
stopped be'ore. and we didn't know it
was stopped this morning. because. it
stopped at seven o'clock last evening,
and so | set the clock by it. and that
was wrong. and my husband missed
the train TO town and the children
were late to school
Not pleasant, of course; but"
oh. but haven't told you all. You
see. my husband. after missing his
regular train. concluded to take day
off and mend all the furniture"
IL see Z"
Yes. He's got everything in the
house apart and can't get them to-
gether again.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05

with look 81 unumbrable' triumphs
Il have got him! have got hinF,
He had caught and crushed q az.
ArRonaut.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
M Various Names for Corn Bread.

Corn bread has various names in
different localities. The general name
of the article is Indian bread. In Della
ware griddle cakes made of Indian
meal are called corn cakes. In Mary
land they are called cookies. Pone is
the name for Indian bread an inch or
more in thickness and baked to a crisp
crust top and bottom. In parts of New
England corn meal. baked into a thick.
crisp cake. is called Indian hammock.
The Puritans it is supposed. learned
the art of making that bread from the
Bannock Indians
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05
Thcy UnGcrAtand the Game.

Here. boys stop that lighting
We amt fighting. mister; We re
playing politics.
What do you mean. then. by
scratching each other, and pulling
hair and kicking each others shinsPn
'Oh. you see, him an me is on one
side. an we're lettin' the other bows
see how much harmony there is in the
party. Texas Siftings.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05

Thepoe ito element wing hiddars
women i the source of g. -
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1893-11-05

The United States mint in San fra1cfs-
CO iS the largest one OF its kind In the
world.
The World. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1891-1896, 1893-03-04
AN AMUSING PET.
Tstc Short Hut Brilliant Career OF III
KIttea.s Queer PiayfeIIow.

Tstc Short hut Brilliant Career OF the
KItten's Queer PiayfeIIow.
u WAS the smallest woodchucx had
ever seen, not much larger than large
rat. lis head and shoulders were So
large In proportion to the body as TO
give II comical look II could not
walk about yet, and had never before
been above ground. Every moment or
two il would whistle cheerily, as the
old one does when safe In its den and
the farm dog IS fiercely baying outside.
We took the youngster home and my
little boy was delighted over the pros
pect Of tame woodchuck.
We captured them all, and the young
family was again united How these
poor halffamished creatures did lay
hold Of the spoon when they got taste
Of the milk One could not help laugh
ing. Their little shining black paws
were 50 handy and so smooth; they
seemed as II incased in kid gloves
They throve well upon milk, and then
upon milk and clover But after the
novelty u the thing had worn OFF the
boy found he had encumbered himself
with serious duties In assuming the
position Of foster-mother TO this large
family: 50 he gave them all away but
one, the FIRST one captured, which had
ortstrippcd all the others in growth
This soon became very amusing pet,
bnt it always protested when handled.
and always objected to confinement.
] should mention that the cat had a
kitten about the age of the chuck, and
as she had more milk than the kitten
could dispose Of, the chuck, when we
FIRST got him, was often placed in the
nest with the kitten, and was regarded
by the cat as tenderly as her own, and
allowed 70 nurse freely. Thus friend
ship sprang up between the kitten and
the woodchuck. which lasted as long as
the latter lived They would play To-
| Ecther precisely like two kittens;
clinch and tumble about and roll upon
The grass in a very amusing way.
Finally the woodchuck took up his
abode under the floor Of the kitchen.
and gradually relapsed into half wild
state He would permit no familiarity
from anyone save the kitten, but each
day they would have a turn on two at
their old games of rongh-and- tumble.
| The chuck was now over half-grown
and procured his own living. One day
the dog, who had all along looked upon
| him with q Jealous eye, encountered
him too far from cover. and his career
/ ended then and there. John Bur-
| rolEhs, in Century.