The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-10-20
THE OLD SETTLER.
He Hears That the Hatchet Story
Is Not True.

''Gran'pop," said little Peleg one day,
didn't you ever hear of George Wash
ington and his little hatchet?"
"Peleg" replied the Old Settler,
looking sternly at his inquiring grand
son, "'arly an late, an late an 'arly.
I've sot ye warnin' agin siniwatin'.
Do you think that cause Sugar Swamp
want swellin' an Dustin with popu-
lation like the ridge is here that
folks never heerd nothin' there? Do
you think that cause the schoolma'ms
that usety ketch the young idees o.
Sugar Swamp by the seat o the pants
and the nap o the neck an churn 'em
till tina were blisters on 'em--do ye
think that cause them schoolmams
didn't chaw gum an wear their hair
down in their eyes that the young
idee o Sugar Swamp didn't know
nuthin'? You're siniwatin, Pelegl
\ You're siniwatin' that your poor old
\ Rran'pap didn't git no furder along in
] his eddication than TO stan up ag'in
I. the wall an spell b-a ba, k-e-r, ker-
baker, an hor up his han TO asst
4 wuther him an Bill Bonutt couldn't
please 60 out an git pail o water
But kin tell ye, sonny, that the
young idee o the Sugar Swamp dees-
tric' grabbed rarnin in great big
chunks, and the schoolma'm never had
to asst more'n wunst how much two
||temstoo was. hadn't orter say nuth-
in more to We cause We siniwated, but
|Ijust to pour Goals O. fire on your head
Erll let ye know, b'gosh, that have
lheerd O. George Wash'nton an his
|llittle hatchet, an the onfortinit cherry
|Itree, an, more'n all that, don't think
la durn sight o. the hull business,
lnuther!'
Il Don't you, gran'pop?." exclaimed
Peleg. well, do you know that ii has
been found out that it amt SOP"
"Wh at hain't SOP" asked the Old
Settler.
Why" replied Peleg, what his
Etory says about Washington and the
fhatchet He didn't cut the cherry
tree down with his hatchet"
Go way" CALCULATED the Old Set
tler. What did he cut it down with?"
Nothing" said Peleg 'He didn't
"An' George didn't go up to his pop
an say: Father, can't tell lie! l
lone it with my lit tie hatchet?'
That's what the teacher says has
been discovered" said Peleg.
Sonny" said the Old Settler ''this
iere has added sumpin' like nineteen
y twenty years to your gran'paps life.
has took load often his mind like
iftin' ffty-pound weight often a
,ressin' o. head cheese! That's the only
hing I had aR'in Wash'n'ton. Jist to
hink of man ez liked his little hooter
the oil stuff in the mornin's like he
ID with tsnzy in, mebby; an man
could handle cuss word now an
aen without spilin' it, ez the record
aid he did when his men want fight
q jist to suit him, an then to hev him
hnded down TO hist'ry ez ssyin that
{e were chap ez couldn't tell
liel Why I usety say, If
rats SO. George Wash'n'ton mowt
st ez we'll a not keered fer his morn
! snifter. and he mowt jist ez well a
y his sojers act foolish without chuck
swear or so at 'em, fer this here
tie statement that he can't tell a lie
,iles the hull business. Some things
bout ye, George / usety say, is great,
at can't go that little statement
out lyin'! 1t ain natur'.' An SO tha
fver We're no hatchet an no cherry
Pc, hey, Peleg? An George Wash'n'-
p never said he couldn't tell liel
Ius said he were the greatest man
er heerI on, an now know it! He
Jed his snifter. an he could handle
ssin' when he were mad, TN he never
ID he couldn't tell lie-which has
JUS been a siniwation, Peleg, that
ybody ez could tell lie were pooty |
along on the down-hill side o. the |
pPikel I can hardly wait fer nex'
ssh'n'ton's birthday to come around,
yant to celebrate it so bad, Peleg,
us keep your eye on the man that
.kes PINT O. gettin' q reputation fer
in a man ez can't tel lie Folks
ne their best TO git me up reputa-
ia like that un, but fit it and fit an
'em they mustn't.
t' Don't do it, says ''Tain't right!
u cause don't lie says, 'hain't no
gin that can't, says.
Even up to this Very time folks
,en meets me an, shakin' their heads,
rs: You an George is like two peasl
aat team you an him would
der they says. That has allus made
madder'n hornet, sonny, but now
zen they say that to me kin clap 'em
the back an say:
Right You are, b'goshl Ne an
orRe- d make that team now.