Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1893-1895, 1893-09-09
OUR SEASIDE LETTER.
The Way They Receive Their
Husbands at Newport.
SEA GUnS CATCHING ONTO A WHALE
How Two Willamette Valley
Girls We're Struck by a Swell.

Don't be q kicker, don't be Q clam;
Try to be sociable,
But never take q dram
II you can't lake drink
Without getting on q jam.
WELCOMING HUBBY.
Young married women always well
come their husbands in the most sffec-
tionate manner when they arrive Sat
urday night to spend Sunday with the
family. You can almost tell how long
q mai has been married by the recep-
ton he receives. If her arms go clear
around his neck and lock behind his
ears scarcely q year has intervened
since the license was issued. If six
months or less she does all that and
kind o,glues her bill onto bis for sea
son. People older and more experienced
in matrimony are just as loving but not
20 demonstrative. The young wife's
reception Of hubby at the coast reminds
one of Byron's description Of g certain
game birds habits:
Man is an Omniyerous production,
He cannot live like the wOOdeOck-by
suction"
OPTICAL ILLUSIONS.
The r.irage of the mist on the beach
is productive of some eOmical illusions
At certain distance and angle every
thing has q certain, luminous enlarged
appearances. Sea gulIs away of look
like people and lot of them struggling
over fish knocked out and Tapping on
the rocks resemble a ships crew dis
patching q whale. Coming closer il
was a wo-pouad hake. l had him for
dinner. Ny Shoes on the sands twenty
rods away resemble box cars.
THE SEA GULLs
are beautiful creatures, and two years
of production by the Oregon law, max
ing 1t crime to shoot them, has rem
dered the gulls at Yaquina Bay Du-
merous and tame. There are many
kinds from Wee one no bigger than 8
sparrow to birds as large and awk-
/
they always appear very busy and yet
they haye nothing to do but loaf, cal
and squawk. Chuck full of business,
yet always ready for caucus on the
beach or a mass meeting on the sand
spit to denounce the rising tide.
THE DIFFERENCE.
| Gsnao hara I hauo laarnad
the difference between business and
embezzlement. When few prominent
and wealthy men organize boom and
trust company aud employ secretary
to rope in other people it is business.
When their secretary John l.. Aver
ropes them in, 1t is embcZzlement.
When the Job Bros. at Corvallis cause
thousands of dollars of public money
and private bank deposits to disap-
pear, that is business. When q pOOI
school CLERK uses $50 school money and
replaces it that is emLezzlement and he
goes to the pen two years.
THE BAY VIEW.
A $3.50 sea otter skin is part Of the
attractions at the Bay View house
some landlords get fat purses starving
people but Col. Pete Abbey, of the
Bay View house don't seem to get
poor making other people fat.
Several people had to leave this
house this summer because they
got TO resemble a walrus so much they
could not see out Of their eyes. A cele-
brated anti-fat hotel in the valley soon
restored them to their normal dimen-
sions. At Abbey's you get not only
the fat Of the land but the fat Of the
sea and few meals there make one be-
gin TO resemble g. Cleveland.
WHAT KILLS PEOPLE.
A good many people here fret about
the fog. Yet fog does not kill half as
many as whisky.
STRUCK BY A SWELL.
AS pretty sight as has been wit
messed in many q day was a distressing
accident that happened the last day Of
surf bathing at Newport. A heavy
Southwestern swell struck two valley
girls and rolled them over like balls on
the beach. They picked themselves up,
a mass Of sand, seaweed and perfectly
drencbed with sea water. aud made a
run for the bath house.
They were not hurt half as bad how
ever as another woman out on dry land
who was struck on swell from Port
land. 4. HoFER.