The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1893-04-13

%'NN ANfA AieNNta'
Everybody who has listened 10 the
eloquence Of Dr. Depew in his finest
moments, when he is paying tribute to
the virtues OF Peekskill and to the ex'
cellenI results upon mis- life OF the disci-
pliae and training to which Mrs. De.
pew, with conscientious devotion, wise
iy subjects him, kuuws that tho keep.
ing OF social engagements on the part
OF tue doctor is largely duo to his wiie's
thoughtful care. 1t follows then that
when Mrs. Depew is unfortunately alb
sent from home the doctor Is liable to
make numerous mistakes aud 10 en-
counter serious mlstortunes. Mrs.
Depew has recently been visiting Fort
Tess Monroe, and the doctor, In penaive
loneliness, has been doing the best he
could To render life endurable in Now
York, Spme nights ago, after ono ot
those bothGrBomG days thar all busy
men experience during which thon-
sand and one disagreeable things and Il
thousand and one disagreeable people
have crowded themselves upon him and
have got on his nerves, Dr., Depew re-
turned to his lonely habitatIon, sat him
down in dreary solitude to find his way
through his dinner. disposal OF 1t swift
~ and To the sure impairment OF his
digestion, as a good man ia bound 10
do under auCh circumstances, and lay
down upon couch in his library TO
think the penslyu thoughts suitable to
the occasion. Happening to glance
toward the mantelpiece directly oppo,
site, no saw what appeared TO be card
OF invitation.
How did that get thore?' said the
doctor TO himself. "Undonbtedly Mrs.
Depew must have pnt il there rs
memorandum for tue that atn duo
somewhere, at some time, for some pur-
pose. Now | would better stlr myself
and ascertain when, where and what
for. Ii have got to talk tonight on
tho Manifest Destiny OF the Human
Race, or Tho Immortality of the Soul,
or anything OF that sort, it's time l was
knowing II" .... 200 ...,.
Thus considering, the Doctor arose,
walked over 10 the mautlepeCe, and
read from the card the information that
Mr.. aud Mrs. Joseph II. Choate re-
ouested the pleasure OF his company TO
meet the Thursday Night Club and Mr.
George Grossmith at Sherry's.
"Grossmith!" exclaimed the doctor.
"Thursday night! Sherry'sI Why
this Is Thursday night, and hero |, am
about to lose the best show of the sea.
sonp
Tho doctor glanced mt his watch. 1t
was already past s. ReInarking shat he
had no timo to lose, he cast himself in.
70 his dress suit and hurried off to
sherry's. Arriving the doctor went
directly to the private dining hall en-
countering on the way an amiRbty az.
gressive waiter, who obligingly assumed
possession OF the DOCTORS coat and hat,
busted at him with the utmost dill.
gence, and inquired II he had ticket,
"No, said the doctor, ~ left it at home.
But l guess it's all right"
"oh, why, certainly" replied the
obliging waiter; whereupon, without
more ado, no busted the doctor into an
apartment well filed with ladies aud
gentlemen, and sat him down near tho
door.
Tho doctor looked around to discover
his host and hostess, but concluded
they must be hidden by the flowers ut
the further end of tho room. A hand.
some elderly gentleman was addressing
the company, and. as the doctor con.
templated his appearance, he remarked
TO himself that he had no idea that
Grossmth was so old Il man, or that he
looked SO nncommonly like scientific
person who had spent his life cultiva-
ting bNcilli or staying the procession OF
the equinoxes. However" said the
doctor, thouGhtfully, English humor
is apt to make man look oldish and
sedatc" Settling himself to be enter.
tanned, Mr.. Depew was startled to hear
the humorist desCant upon the quality
u tho Ego, then on the qualities Of a
Non-Ego, then on the desrability OF
maintaining ones soul in harmony with
the Eternal Essence, then on the
operations OF the moral law Of gravit-
alton. How very remarkablew
said DR.. Depew; land this is the
gentleman who invented Sir joseph
Porter and Bunthorne. This il the
gentleman who sings that delightful
and instructive yers about polishing up
the handle of the big front door, about
how he always voted at his party's call,
and never thought Of thinking for him.
self ut all, mud abont that unfortunate
dicky bird who sat on tree sadly muir
muring from time to time, in grief.
bnrdencd accents, oh, willow, tit willow,
lit willow, and this same gentleman
undertakes TO move me to nproarious
inirth by telling me about tho Ego, and
the Nom Ego, and the Essence. Well,
have always heard that English
humor was occult, and that it required
man highly educated in fun TO de-
rive the fullest satisfaction out OF it.
have thought myself fairly well
equipped with humorous sensibility,
but really don't believe that | por.
ceive in any full and sufficient way the
mirthful quality OF Mr.. Grossmith's
original addresses"
Nevertheless, Mr.. Depow continued
to listen. and when the lecturer reach.
cd that point where lie told OF the
curious relation Of moral consciousness
on the part OF the ancient Chaldeans
aud tho signs OF the Zodiac, Mr., Depow
heayed gentle sigh, and, turning To
an exceedingly decorous young gentle
man at his eide, inquired eoiomnty:
"My friend whore am atY"
This, sir" said tho docorous young
man. '.is q meeting Of tho Drawing
Room CLUB"
"Ah? And what are the objects Of
the Drawing.Room Club2"
"The discussion OF Csotoric phloso.
ply"
1907" said Dr. Dcpcw. "And YOU
will DO good enough to toll INC who is
tho learned and powerful lecturer to
,pho,,, ,,,n nrn IsiartnV9 u