The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1893-06-14
CALLS THEM FOOLS
Colonel Vann MOraliZes in a Gen.
eral Way.
Proves All Men Are Fools and GideOn's
Band Is the Stuff.
AS TO THE LATTER DAY PATRIOT
A Good Time Coming When Gold and Sill
yer Will Be as Plentiful as Third
Party Politicians.

A Good Time Coming When Gold and Sill
yer Will Be as Plentiful as Third
Party Politicians.
Sing, celestial Muse, that on the secret top
OF Horeb. or of Sinai, didst inspire
Their wisdom!
FROM paradise LOST
That musical monad, vocillating man,
who endowed with the latent principal
of immortality, fondly claims a monop-
oily of divine favor, and yet has ever
failed to note his own imperfections !;
runs gleefully wild in his exuberance of
egCtism, and then makes his exit from
life in that same deplorable condition as
in which he began eXistence-a fool !
The ladies will, however, forgive and
bless us too, in advance of their wrath,
as this reflection applies only to the
genus homo-their lords and masters
and does not remotely implicate them.
1t seems to us-disprOVe the proposition,
if not a logical one-that it would be
more than superluous to add an iOta to
the sum total of felicity enjoyed by the
one who thinks he possesses the balance
of knowledge on his side of life's ledger;
why not leave him to worship the delu.
sion, and not shatter the shrine of his
idolatry with any crude, baseless dream
of our glazing idiocy?
There is a certain clique, yclept "po-
litical reformers," who would have US be-
lieve that if the ruins Of the general
government were in their grasp, man
would be free from all hidden, or wildly
crying woes; greenbacks and the silver
dollars of our defunct dads, would be as
abundant and as easily procurable, as
are now their lying, fraudulent promises.
Those same cheeky fakirs, always with
an eye single to your Uncle Growers cof-
fers and their own glory, will tell The
dear misguided people that if the tariff
on Limburger cheese and pegging-awls
were repealed, the now clogged wheels
of industry would again smoothly slide
along the ruts of ante bellum prosperity.
This is the homeless logic Of n fac
ton another branch of the genealogical
tree points to the fact hat the minority,
by right of their patronage Of the national
good, must have a voice in the final adj
Indication of Gladstone's "Home Rule"
bill for Ould Ireland, the land of their
nativity-clime of peerless usquebaugh
This admirable devOtiOn-stick to your
Inherited rights, boys, and give John Bull
a whack over the head with your shilla-
lahs. Still another scion from the parent
stock-Gideon's Band.
Blow ye the trumpet DER Egypt's dark sea-
our luetl nome, AIncflCa, snail De Tree
This is the invincible shiGboleth of the
c%rusading patriots; now stand aside, We
unbelieving malcontents, and see the sal
walton of Israel worked out-why, it's as
simple as the tenth problem Of Euclid
any jackass might have seen the gate of
d~eliverance a thousand years ago, but
didn't, and much is the pity
The peoples party-your Aunt Mary
AIMS squalling infant-well, what is
their status in the panorama of idealties ?
just this, pure and simple: They propose
to revolutionize public opinion in the
matter Of 'possum culture; and this will
e lge upon Captain Sam Dickson's vested
rights-thcre will be trouble in the camp
of the wall eyed tresspaSsers, and don't
you forget that fact.
Another pet hobby of those pesky in,
novators is their firm belief in the practi-
cability of converting moonshine into a
motive power, by the aid of which they
hope to curry their pigs and sheep a la
Franchise! Now, We RAIDS and democrats.
might as well get ont your Calling guns,
and be prepared for any emergency; the
retail price Of liberty, as you are proba-
bly, aware, depends upon the drop that
you get on old Sister Chance-be on the
alert, and with ornamental earnestness
defend your ancient dignity from the in
science of the naughty marauders,
l.. d. NANN.