davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07
No Perfect hook,

It 10 said that a Spanish firm Of rubbish
els once produced a work in which ono let.
ter only got misplaced tn ough accident,
end this is believed to nave been the near
est approach to perfection that has ever
been attained In a book. IL is further
stated TINT m English house. has mgdc n
Rteat effort to the same end. and Issued
p oof sheets to the universities. with an
otter OF iaoif any error was discovered in
them. but. in spite OF this precaution. sew
etai biunders remained undetacted ill the
work was issued from tho ptess.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07
JUSTICE AND FLY-CATCHING.
They Go On Sim ultaneously In an Aus
trRliRn Court.

They Go On Sim ltanoously in an Aus.
trRliRn Court.
The champion hy-catoher Of Australia is
a Judge, says the Sydney Bulletin. He is
only happy in the summer; in the winter,
when flies are scarce. he wears a melan-
choly asroct, like Othello when his occupa-
ton was gone. But in the hot weather he
il happy. As he sits listening to tho evil
dence he reaches softly after flies and picks
them off the bench or grabs them in tho air.
He lies in wait for flies while lie il sum-
ming up. and he can solve q profound law
point and lursue the fseting insects at the
same time; in fact. his mental alertness
appears to be much dependant on the
priaoner to death once on n blaz-
ing January afternoon. after he had caught
flies softly and persistently oil through the
,rial and all through the summing ur.
Then The jury returned with it's verdict and
tho Judge. who had retired while tho
with a dend fly between his fingers and re-
sumed his seat on the bench. The verdict
WAS guilty." the prisoner had nothing TO
say and his honor proceeded in u very few
words with the sentence.
"Prisoner Mt tho barr he said solemnly.
and then he went suddenly for n fly that
was standing on his official robes. and
caught it. you have been found guilty OF
wilful murder-" Here the majesty Of
tho law made q long shot at a blue bottle
and looked at the squsshed in
sect thouehsfully: And it is my
court, at this stage, throw away the blue
bottle. 'Ihe sentence of this court ia that
you be hanged by the neck Then there
was another hiatus while tho bench dived
inter two flies and caught one and smashed
the other ono against the cushion "till
your body 10 dead. and" Cleaning forward
impressively and raising tho hand that held
the dead insect) may the Lord have mercy
Jon your SOUL" And rs he spoke his honor
cast his hands abroad imprsssiyely and
threw the deceased fly straight at tho pris-
lWay.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07
All Free.

Those who have used DR.. King'a New Dis
covery know its value, and those who have
not. have now the opportunity to try it fre..
Call on the advertised druggist and Get a
trial bottle. free. Send your namo md ad-
dress to H.. Z. Bueklsn 4 Co.. Chicago. and
get q sample box Of DR.. Kings New Life
pills free, as we'll as u copy OF Guide to
Henlth and Household Instructor, free.
All OF which is guaranteed TO do you good
and cost you nothing. II. NJ. Parchen 4
Col drug store.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07
$500 Reward!

Liver Complaint, dyspepsia. Sick headache, In
DIGESTION, Coordination or Costiveness We can
not cure with Vests Vegetable Live Pills. when
IRE purely vegetable. and never fail to give ratis.
ttactlon. SUGAR Coated Large boxes, 2a cents.
beware OF counterteits ana limitations. The
genuine sold by IL. NJ. Parchen d Co.. Helena,
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07
Euoklen's Arnloa Saliva

Tho Best Salve in the world for Cuts.
bruises. Sores. Ulcers. Salt Rhsum, Tever
so;es. letter. Chapped Hands. Chilblains,
Cons and oil Skin Eruptions, and posi-
lively cures Piles or no money required. II
q guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction,
or money refunded. Prics26 cents psr box.
For sale BY II. Al. Pxrchsn 4 Co.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07
Illinois Central R. R.

respectfully presents it's claims fo
the new and every way desirable
SIOUX CITY ROUTE.
Fol folders and further partlcl
lars call upon local ticket agent, q
address tho undersigned at Man
chester. Iowa.
B j. r. MERRY,
Asst. General PASSENGER Agent.
The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-07

Only Two Nights and Tnst Time to CHI
cago.
The Great Northern makes several hours
quicker time-Hslcna TO 81. Paul-than any
other line; Is tho only limo which makes the
run to Chicago in two nights, other lines
usinR three aud four nights.
u. II. LANGLEY.
General Ticket Agent.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
FORTUNES IN A TEAcUP.

If you have two spoons I'm your cup
It is sign that you will figure promi-
nently at u wedding before the year Is
out.
If cream or milk is put in your cup
before the sugar 1t will cross your love.
A tea stalk floating on top of the tea
is called Il stranger says the st. Louis
Globe-Democlut. When this happens
to unmarried women they should stir
the tea briskly and then place the
spoon in the centre of the cup, holding
1t quite still.
If the stranger in its gyratlons is at
tracted to the spoon he will come that
evening; should 1t, however, cling to
the sides he will not come at all.
We may observe that it really de-
pends on the state of the atmosphere
as to whether the stalk goes to the
middle or not.
1t Is a sign of fair weather If the clus-
ters of air bubbles, which usually rise
after the sugar has been put In, collect
themselves and remain In the centre
of the cup. If, on the contrary, they
straggle to the sides, 1t Is sign that
1t will certainly rain In few hours.
This cluster of bubbles is also called
kiss and portends that the owner
will be thus saluted during the course
Of the day.
A cluster of tea leaves with a few
stragglers at the front at the bottom
of the cup signifies a hearse or q fune-
raj, while the couple Of leaves at the
bottom, If close together, signify we'd
ding.
If the tea grounds take the form of
a woman on the side of the cup 1t sig
nifies rival in love; If it looks like a
bird 1t means news from distant
friend; If it looks like a book it refers
to IL well-known acquaintance who Is
at college; If it looks like q tree 1t
means soon taking journey into the
country; If two stalks come together
it means you are to meet a man; If 1t
looks like u snake 1t Is an enemy.
If it is dog you will meet or hear
from n friend; If it looks like house
or shed it means that when married
you will keep house for yourself and
not board; If it looks like a spire 1t
means you will be married in church;
If 1t looks like Il duck or a swan It
means that you will cross the ocean;
IL 1t looks like Il bridge 1t Is an un-
questioned sign that your marriage
will be happy and your life long and
sweet.
If 1t looks like man fishing with q
rod 1t points to preacher who may
either officiate at your marriage or be-
come your husband; If it looks like
man with many spots lying before him
1t means that your husband will be
rich and may be banker; if broken
bridge turns up on the side of the cup
it means that your marriage will be
unhappy.
If there are undulations on the side
of the cup, some faint and some heav-
ier, 1t means n checkered life or
career of struggle, sometimes light and
sometimes severe.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
FACTS IN FEW WORDS.

A New York widow lately secured a
husband for $40 at an agency. The
man has decamped, and the woman Is
advertising for his return.
The Krupp gun works claim to have
manufactured machine which will
roll iron so thin that it would take
1,SOO sheets to make an inch.
A baby whose eldest brother is a
grandfather was born in Richmond,
Ky, recently. Its mother is sixty-eight
and her husband seventy-two years
old.
A swarm of flies will make their ap-
pearance at car window and easily
keep pace with the train, even though
it be rushing across the country forty
miles an hour.
This announcement recently appeared
In Kirscheva, Bavaria, paper: Lost,
on the 22d of September, my wife,
Anne. Whoever has found her Is
begged to keep her. He will be hand
somely rewarded"
The late Major Decker, the midget,
weighed but pound at birth, and
physicians predicted that he could not
live two days. Yet he survived forty
four years, and, it Is said, was drunk
half of his life.
Lightning played curious freak at
Washington, Ga, during a late storm.
1t struck large bush, under which a
hen and three chickens had sought
shelter. The former was instantly
killed, but the chickens were found
alive under their mother.
In the Sandwich Islands the apple
has become wild, and forests of trees
ofE}nany acres are found in various
pl of the country. They extend
from the level of the sea far up into
the mountain sides. 1t Is said that
miles Of these apple forests can occa-
sionally be seen.
The greatest whirlpool is the mael-
strom off the Norway coast. 1t is an
eddy between the mainland and an
island, and when the current is in one
direction and the wind in another no
ship can withstand the fury of the
waves. Whales and sharks have been
cast ashore and killed. The current is
estimated to run thirty miles an hour.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
REVISED ARITHMETIC.

When sausage is worth twenty cents
pound, how much are dok-skin gloves
worth per pair?
If 1t costs one unmarried man all he
makes to live, how much will it cost
to marry and raise Il family?
If u COW gives two gallons of milk
day worth eight cents quart, how
deep Is the cistern In the COW lot?
If landlady charges $S week for
board, or $50 month, and the board
er skips one day before the month is
up, how much does she lose?
How long can one young man on
500 a month, with expenditures of
$3.50, keep it up before he begins to
use the cash in the money drawer?
If 1t takes one woman one minute to
communicate bit of gossip across the
back fence to another woman in strict
secrecy, how long will 1t take for the
other woman to scatter 1t all over town.
If two candidates in a county having
q voting population of $685. receive
1000 and $500 votes respectively, how
long will it require to purify politics,
the county having an area Of 325
square miles?
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
rnrlu Ideas About Hnir.

All the ancient philosophers held
curious ideas respecting the growth
functions, structure, etc, OF the hair,
and had many superstitions founded
ON these old opinions. The carly
writers ON the makeup of the human
bodv almost invariably refer to the
hair as being an eXcremcnt fed on sub
stances similar to itself. They sup
nosed that il generated in the fuligi-
nouspartsIo of the blood; was eXhaied by
the heat of the body, becoming lrin
and fibrous on being exposed to the AR
inst as the fluid of the spider web does.
In these days every idea respecting the
Growth and character of hair Is
Changed. 1t is now agreed that every
hair properly and truly lives ana re-
oo;yes its nutriment from the body
,rrpc. they take upon themselves the
nature of parasitic plants; they grow as is
yegctation does, yet each has, as 10
were. n distinct life and economy. Ihat
tbov derive their existence from the
;uices of the body there is no oouop'
Int that food is not taken from the nu'
tr;t;ous Juices, for we know that halr
win thrive even though the body starve
or be wasted by disease,o or even aiter
the animal life has ceased to eNist ID
the flesh or skin TO which they are Ht
tached.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
ASTONlSHED SAVAGES.
Money In Exchange for Food Was n Good
joke to the wild Kaiirs.

Money in Exchange for Food Was Good
joke to the wild Kaiirs.
The author of "Where Three EN-
pires Meet" took some Kafirs from
their desolate inland home in the
Himalayan gorges beyond the noun
tain ranges to the more civilized south.
Like most savages, they looked with
stupid Indifference at the marvels
about them, and once only were they
excited by an incident which opened
their eyes to what they considered a
most extraordinary and unnatural
state of things.
They were descending road when
one of them chanced to remark that he
was hungry, and the English ''sahib"
bought him some food at way side
shop. The Kafir saw the money change
hands.
"Iow is this?' he inquired, in sur
prise. "Do you have to pay for food
in this country?'
Certainly"
"What country!" cried the man, in
amazcment. Then after pondering n
while he continued, doubtfully; sup
nose a man had no money in this
country; he might starvc!'
"It is quite possible"
The Kafir shook with uncomfortable
laughter. 1t was the best joke he had
ever heard. He then explained the ri
diculous system to his companions, and
they roared in chorus.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29

ink stains on their thumbs. So, hav-
ing nothing requiring their attention,
they all looked at me, and I felt as
comfortable as we do in those dis
tracting nightmares when we roam
through dignified assemblies looking
for quiet corner where we can put
our clothes on. They kept on chewing
with n gentle and rhythmical move
ment which required no conscious di-
rection and left their minds free to
consider my claims to personal beauty
and engaging manner.
And then, suddenly, the entire eight
hundred took their eyes off me, end
forgot that was alive. 1t was the
only thing that could have made me
feel worse than felt when they were
looking at me, and it accounts for the
tinge of bitterness which may be de-
tected in these lines A man must be
older and more philosophical than
am before he can endure with patience
the humiliating reflection that not one
girl in eight hundred prefers him to a
plate of ham and beans.
stumbled along through the room,
and at last discovered a place at the
far end where there were few men.
The only vacant seat was by table
which had men on one side and women
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
HISTORY OF A GhNK NOTE.
Used as Messenger by an Eneilshu,n
confined In an Algerian DUNGEON.

oscu as messenger by an Engiisru,n
confined In an Algerian Dungeon.
Bank notes have curious Histories n.-
Tackled to them IN the way of humo,
comedy, tragedy and mclodrama, saws
the New York Homo Journal. A collect.
orat Paris Of such curiositics rot hold.
some years ago, of fvc-pound
land OF England note which had somc-
what of tragic interest connected
with it, Some sixty odd years ago the
cashier Of Liverpool merchant had
received IN tender for business paw.
ment n Bank of England note which
he held up to the scrutiny Of the light,
SO as TO make sure of its genuineness.
He observed some partially indistinct
rcd marks or words traced on the front
of the note beside the lettering and on
the margin. Curiosity prompted him
to try to dccipher the words so in
scribed. With great difficulty, so faint
ly written were they and so much
obliterated, the words were found to
form the following sentence: "If this
note should fall into the hands of John
Dean, of Longhill, near Carlisle. he
will learn hereby that his brother Is
languishing prisoner at Algiers."
Mr.. Dean, on being shown the note,
lost no time in asking the government
OF the dey to make intercession for his
brothers freedom. 1t appeared that
for eleven long years the latter had
been slave to the dey of Algiers, and
that his family and relatives believed
him to be dead. With piece of wood
he had traced in his own blood on the
bank note the message which was to
procure his release. The government
aided the efforts of his brother to set
him free, this being accomplished on
payment of n ransom to the dey. I'M
fortunately the captive did not long
enjoy his liberty, his bodily suffcrings
while working as n slave in Algiers
having undermined his constitution.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
"UNCLE JERRY"
A Couple of Stories About the Late AyrI-
cultural Secretary Husk.


On one occasion chief of one of the
divisions in Secretary RuslS's depart
ment had got into trouble with n news
paper man and had been soundly rated
by him in the papers. Secretary Rusk
had seen the statement and he called
the man up and asked him what he was
going to do about it. The clerk replied
that he didn't know what to do, and
said to the governor: suppose you
take the matter up and settle it."
mo, SIR" replied Uncle Jerry, II am
not. such n fool. 1t is your tail that is
under the gate and you've got to do
the squeGling."
A certain congressman called on Sec
retary RuslS one day and tried to chaff
him. He said: "See here, Gov. Rusk,
you don't know me. want you to un-
ierstand that come from the west,
and I'm regular Jim Dandy of a
fcllcr." Yes, suppose you are" said
Uncle Jerry, as lie arose to his feet in
order to tell the story better. You
make me thinl; of the sermon of the
minister who was discoursing on the
wonders of the Lords creation, and
said that he made the large as well as
the small things of the universe. Said
the preacher: when God made the
mighty ocean he made little rivulct;
when he made the snow-cappcd noun
tains he made hilloclS; when he made
that king of beasts, the elephant, he
made flea, and when he made me-
here the governor drew himself up to
his full height and stretched out his
arms, /" 'he made daisy And l sup
pose you think you are the daisy"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29

on the other. fell into the chair, and
instantly found myself face to face
with d naughty typewriter girl who, in
our elevator, has frequently repulsed
with scornful eyes the advances which
Heaven knows | did not make.
stole glance at her to see whether
she could still find it in her heart to
crush me, humbled as | was, in the
presence of so much youth and beauty.
But she lifted her cold gray eyes from
her griddle cakes, and looked at some-
thing which was Immediately behind
me. do not know what it was, but
could feel her steely glance pass
through me with the cold precision of
scalpcl. And yet she is not destitute
of human sentiments. / have heard
her converse with the elevator boy in
such moving tones that he has run by
four floors where business men waited,
swearing, to be taken down in the car.
And have occasionally seen her gaze
into the mirrors in the car with other
purpose than to contemplate her own
lovliness. | have even thought that
she was looking at me, but, alas, it
was always when hadn't shaved for
four days.
A young man came to remove the de-
bris of my predecessors order. Though
young, as have said, this gentleman
had already risen high in his profess
sion He could clean off table as l
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
He That Humbleth
Himself Shall BE Exalted


1t fitted my case exactly. and yet
the promise involved in it seemed
to be scantily fulfilled. began
to open some eggs with trem-
bling hand. A large piece Of
the shell fell into my glass. tried
to fish it out with spoon which, such
was my agitation, knocked against the
glass like one of those tappers in a shop
window, inviting people to come in
and be robbed. Then all the girls
shifted their gaze from my necktie to
the piece of she'll Under such circum-
stances, | vas not likely to catch It,
Let me send it back and get you
another" said kindly voice behind
me. 1t was the male superintendent
of the establishment, an exceptionally
polite and obliging young man. had
never been SO glad to see male Of my
species before. It brought my courage
back. arose and abused that gentle
youth for every fault of omission and
commission known to the restaurant
business. He took it with the bland
est courtesy. Suddenly, grown brave,
] turned to see what effect my asser-
ton of dignity had had upon the girls.
They were all gone. One o'clock had
struck and they had gone back to ham
mer some more holes in our language
Perceiving this, apologized meekly to-
the superintendent, and then sat down
md ate the cold egg, shell and all.
HOWARD FIELDING.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
HISTORICAL.

The art of embroidery is Of very an.
cient origin, and was brought to great
perfection by the women of Greece and
Sidou. 1t was extensively practlsed in
medaeval times in Europe. The wo-
men of some barbarous races, like the
North American Indians, often exhib-
tied n marked degree Of skill in en-
broidery
Aaron Burr resigned from the Prov.
incial army by reas~n Of i'll health In
1889 In 1900 he and Jefferson each
had seventy-three electoral votes for
the office of President Of the United
States. The choice was thus left to
Congress, which on the thirty-sixth bal
lot chose Jefferson for President and
Burr for Vice-President.
Rusento, a river of Italy in the prov
ince of Salerno, empties into the Gulf
Of Rusento at the city of Policastro.
Upon the death of Alaric the Visigoth|
King, his followers turned the coursel
Of the river, and after having buried
him, again led the river into Its old
course, thus covering all trace of AL
aries grave from the eyes Of his enc
mics.
In the appalling catastrophe which
destroyed the city of Lima and its har-
Dor, Callao, in Peru, in October, 1746,
The earthquake shocks were repeated
every seven or eight minutes, and over
700 of the most violent kind were count
ed within twenty-four hours. In the
great earthquake of Caraccus ON the
2Gth of March, 1912, fifteen shocks
were felt on the first day, and they
continued numerous every day until
The 9th of April following.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1893-12-29
VERlTlES.

The Croton aqueduct has q collect
n" reservoir whose capacity is 3000,-
Jou,000 gallons.
Tho public free schools of the United
states are at present educating 49,
lop. .Oo0 children.
William Waldorf Astor has subscrib-
81 $1,000 in aid of the monument of
Gen. Mcclellan at Philadelphia.
Kansas City, Kan, is the new home
Cor lottery concerns. Nine institutions
If that description are now openly do
ug business there, and more are prom
sell.
4 territorial enlargement is under
7usideration by the Cincinnati author
~. l'ile coveted annex contains rs
.uaro miles and has a population of
..,3Go.
a 81. Louis saloon gives a ticket for
= Gish:'s lodging with every glass OF
O., and each night furnished a rest
.,plare for from 100 to 200 men and
49, Its patrons sleep on the hoor
,ho,it bedding.