Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1893-07-29
PuNeENr PARAGRAPHS.

--Magistrate-"You are accused Uf
not supporting your wife" Prisoner
"But, your honor, you don't know my
wife. She is unsupportable." Mercury.
-"Jane, did you invite the gentle
man to come and take chairp' "Yes,
but it was the table he wanted because
you'd not paid for it.''-Inter Ocean.
-She--"Am the first girl you ever
proposed to, darling?" He sincerely
mo; but you are the only girl who
ever accepted me. brooklyn Life.
Willie Wilt-"I cawn't say that L
aw-lille brilliant women" Miss Pert
81 should think you would for the
sake of contrast IN. Y. Times.
-"Miss Budd's heart is like volume
in circulating library" How is
that?" Not to be kept longer than
two weeks. s.'-Washington News.
Funny that Longwed always re-
fers to his wife as that old hem ("
"You wouldn't think so if you could
see the way she rules the roost. -
Buffalo Courier.
-Clara-''Why are you so bitter
against him just because he proposed
and you refused him." Maud-''The
wretch! He said he would never ask
me again. Vogue.
| -Nlamma-"Robbie, didn't tell YOU
that you must not go swimming?'
Robbie-''I didn't swim. The other
| fellows had just all they could do to
keep me from drowning
| Charlie Sappy-"No, don't go in
for yachting much since the time was
knocked overheard and lost my senses"
Miss Spright-"How sad, and you never
recovered them, did you?"-Philadel-
| phia Record.
-Gableigh-"Do you believe in the
power of the human eye with n wild
beast?' Professor-'.Yes, the power
of the eye is very useful-to see the
wild beast coming, IN. Y. Herald.
Room at the Top. .-Wifc-"Dear,
aren't you drinking little too much
wine?' Husband-"No; 1 can hold
more liquor than most men" Wife
81 dare say. 1t always goes to your
head. Scranton Republican.
-Boggs-'You might talk until
doomsday and you couldn't convince
me that dueling isn't murder" Biggs
-"All right. I'll take you over to
France with me and let you see some
of it."-Troy Press.
do you know of an opening for
me?" inquired the college graduate.
"Ain't the reg lar bars wide enough?"
rejoined his father, gesturing eloquent
ly in the direction of the corn field
Detroit Tribune.
-McFingle-''I thought you believed
in letting the Office seek the man?"
McFangle-"I do; but l m going down
to Washington just to save the office
few steps when it seeks me. boston
| News.
The short story seems to be quite
the fad nowadays" said one club man
to another. Il should say so. 1t seems
| to me that nearly every man l meet
| stops to tell me how short he S.
| Washington Star.
-Rollo-"Tell me, pa, is there any
difference between common salt and
| chloride of sodium?" Mr.. Holiday
| "Yes, Rollo, great difference. Salt is
| two cents pound at the grocer's,
| while chloride of sodium is fifty cents
teaspoonful at the druggists
when l marry l shall try to be
sure of one thing, and that is l have a
woman of sense" You mean wo-
| man OF prudence and forethought,
with fine perceptions and knowledge
of human nature" Yes, that's it eX-
actly." But they are just the ones
that never arry.'-Funny Folks.
Talking Chickens. A learned
French scientist, catching the cue
from Prof. Garner's investigation of
the monkey language, has turned his
attention to the vernacular of chickens.
If he can only induce the spring pull
lets to tell their age he will not have
lived in vain.-Augusta Chronicle.
The Man for the Place.-Editor of
Organise you came in to apply for
the position of political editor?" APP
plicant-"Yes, sir, and you will fini
me trustworthy man. l always stats
things just as they are" Editor
HIM! Any fool can do that. What
we want is a man that can state things
just as they are not."-Boston Tran
script.