New-York tribune., 1893-12-23
THE T1LK or THE DAY.


THE Buffalo Express" has discovered in THAI
city a male Mrs Maaprop The other day he took
his wife to a concert When he got to the doos
he found he had left his tickets at home. So hs
sdled up TO the door-tender and said: Say won't
you let me In? I'VE transacted my pockets all
through and cam; find my tickets" Speaking Of
a man he didn't like. he said: Il don't admire that
man. lie always holds himself aloft from me.".
vis.tor-I am most grieved to learn OF your mis-
alarm, | trust? The New French Maid-No. mon-
sieur; nozzing beeg. nozzing grande. .Somezing.
Tho New French Maid-Eet is what zey call 70
litle-sma -smailpox.-'Tid-Bts.
The following story comes from Nebraska towni
few days after the passage Of the Silver Repeal
bill a weary-ookng individual l.mped into town.
looking thirty years older than when he had left
H. No one knew him. He rang for admission into
a certain house. compassionate lady answered
the bell.
What do you WISH my poor man." she asked
Come In and rest yourself while. You look very
weary"
Yes" he replied: IT am weary. but you should
the other fellows In Washington"
He was Senator Allen who had returned home
after his 14s. hours speech.
Iondon's Great Curiosity-Attendant Mrs. Jar.
ley's Wax Works. London-This. ladies and gentle
lsh gentleman who went to the Worlds Fair hat
Chicago. travelling the hentire distance from New.
nGk s IN S'nS %o W s
ing robbed, hand returning 70 Eew-fork without
being killed hin ha railway haccident.-(New-Yo ork
Weekly
Congressman Cannon says the atmosphere Of the
Pension Office Is twenty degrees below normal And
some fine morning Hokc smth-whose head is sew
eral Inches above normal-wiil wake up 20 find the
political Thermometer far below throughout the
entire country.
Blufkns wandered in at the club the other night
and argw MS chair ia Sose 70 she 5e for anvbnr
he calculated. They have the most gluttonous ap-
you cawnt prove that bah Jove.' said Mr..
Algernon Hawkins. who lived on chops and swors
II can" replied Blunkins. with unruhied com:
posure. and here Is the proof | was riding nome
to me I ave just bought stove said one. so
ave L. said the other. Put mine is the best on
the first .Jove, said the second. That isn't any
thing; can eat my stove IN fye minutes ,,,.,.n
that the Englishman did have pretty solid sp-
petlte-tBoston Budget
Owing TO the chaotic state OF affairs occasioned
by tariff tinkers and prosperity annhilators. 1t Il
probable that watches than stockings will be
hung up this Christmas
And He Thought Better OF It,-'If you refuse me.
Mabel Benderby." howled the desperate young man.
Il shall Offer myself to Mag Scaraway!' -
DO Mr. MAXWELL" said the proud maiden witt
a ierce JOY shining in her eyes. Il hate herr
Chicago Tribune.
Actress TO burgar)-Avaunt. villain! Out OF my
presence bur-r-r-g-l-a-r-r! You make another step
toward me and I'll sing After the Ball!' (Exit
burglar. dejected)
she-Deare. did you think Of me often when
HepWeli should say So four big bills came In
the first week-(Chlcago Inter Ocean
II women would put their pocketbooks in their
dress pockets they would be secure from male
thieves AT least.
Your neighbor appears to have failed 5000
lust twenty-four times The next will be
his silver bankruptcy. y."-(Flegende Blatter
Prince de valor a faithful partisan OF Don
Carlos the Spanish Pretender. and a representative
OF the old French nobility has written TO the Parm
newspapers protesting against an omission OF 'Ihs
London Times" THE Tines had published list
OF the exiled persons to whom could be applied the
amnesty which was proposed in the French Cham-
ber and which latest cable dispatches reported
as having been refused by a majority OF 81 votes
Prince de Valori. In his eloquent letter recalls the
facts that Don Carlos Is grandson OF Louis NV
who gave Alsatia TO France; that he Is generaiy
known as 1.-The first gentleman Of the world ana
that he was expelled without due motive from
France. which had been governed by loi kings. his
ancestors.
Where the Voice Is Overworked-Physiclan-
Your throat is In bad condition. my dear younS
lady. but / think | need impose only depriva-
tlon upon you. .
Miss Smelsy-What Is II. doctor? .
Physician-I must absolutely forbid you 10 attepo
performances OF the opera-(Chicago Record
Another incontestable proof OF the rapid advancs
OF the Japanese In the civilization OF the West v
the following advertisement which appeared In
Toxic paper recently: "A young lady wishes to gss
married She Is very beautiful. has rosy race
which Is surrounded by dark curly hair Her eye
brows show the form OF the half-moon and the
mouth Is small and pretty. She is also very ricn'
well-read enough TO admire the flowers In the day
time at the side OF life companion. or at night
10 sing OF the stars In heaven. The man whom shs
will choose must also be young. handsome ana WELL
educated and be ready to share the same grave
with her"
A Modern Poor Rlchard.-Father-Thi Is a me
house you've bought. l don't see how you raiseo
Sonmi am buying It on the instament plan.
"Oh But where did you get all ths ha"uSo"''
"Huying that on the instalment plan. too, s.-
"Humph. Must cost something. don't see nov
you can spare so much for clothes your wiz
dresses like princess"
Yes get our clothes on the nstalment plan
Wont do. won't do at all. Suppose you shou'e
die? u
Il can be buried on the instalment plan easily
''Blt your wife won't have any money to pay ta'
Eyes. she'll have plenty I'm insured on the IN.
stalment plan-pav every week.
Weekly