The Columbus journal., 1893-06-21

plGcnor6 you knOW-- .
He was interrupted by the appear
ance Of . big piece Of roast beef
which he attacked with q great flour
ieh of knife and fork and the remark
"Aha! Brown, old boy, I'll show
you some beef that isn't quite q.
fair as that you had yesterday.
only hope that confdunded cool
hasn't spoiled it."
At this point I became aware o
the voice of the unmarried sister
which was raised several octave.
above its usual pitch of F in alt
saying:
mo, Nellie, don't believe it, and
you can't make me believe it if YOU
talk all night, SO you may as vel
stop"
There. there, Mary" said the un.
fortunate Mrs. Smith, Il only meant
"You only meant to beat ME out oi
my opinion, that's all. But you can't
do it if you talk till doomsday, and
don't want to hear any more about
it."
..You introduced the subject your.
SELF" retorted Mrs. Smith, very un.
wisely, it seemed to me, though
suppose the poor woman couldn't
help it.
"Yes, Of course! Everything is q
subject with you, subject to argue
and wrangle over for hours. cant
say a word about anything but you
snap me up, and contradict and try
to beat me out of my opinion, and ge,
insulting and personal, as you did
just now.'
why, am sure, Mary" Mrs.
Smith began.
But she was interrupted, and the
attention of all was diverted, by a
little remark from Smith.
Considering the justice of the re
mark and the number of times it has
been made by other persons. it was
strange that it produced such a pro-
found impression.
All he said was:
"Damn that coOk!"
"Charles!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith
and her sister. simultaneously.
Wouldn't it do to burn her at the
steak?" suggested White.
smiled gratefully upon him.
thought he was justified by the
circumstances.
..H you are going to be profane,
Charles" said the unmarried sister,
icily, Il shall leave the table"
Smith clutohed his carving knife
and glared at her. But he got him
self in hand, after an effort. and
merely said:
..Don't be an idiot, Mary"
"Isn't it enough to make a saint
swear?" he continued. turning to US.
There's as fine piece of beef as
ever saw, simply ruined by the stu
pidity of the cook"
.Do you prefer it burned or raw,
Brown" That's the only choice
can offer you"
Well, We got through dinner at last
and adjourned to the parlor. where
Tom and Blanche recommended their
discussion and the unmarried sister
again fell foul of the unhappy Mrs.
Smith, while Smith talked politics te
White and me. But as we were very
careful not to contradict him, he
tired of the sport in little while
and asked Blanche to play ''tha1
little thing like SO much" on the
piano
This was the last straw. looked
at White and he looked at me.
IL am afraid l must CO." sale
White. 81 have a very particular
engagement"
by Jove" I exclaimed, Il am en-
gagged, too. The time has passed 81
pleasantly that 1 had forgotten al
about it. l must be off at once"
As we left the house White said:
"Well, what's your engagement;
Mine Is with a cocktail and the farce
comedy at the Gaiety. l need {
bracer. Will you join me?''
NO" l said. "A stiff dose o
bromide will suit my case better
And then l think l will 60 to tht
Rev. DIR: Knapp's lecture. Repose il
what want"
failed to appear at the office next
day. and suffered good deal witt
dyspepsia and palpitation of the
heart for q week.
At the end of that time l me-
Smith.
"Hello!' he exclaimed. "You lool
seedy. tell you what, old man, the
life you lead is killing you. If you
take my advice you'll get married
and make home for yourself, just
as soon as you can.
Meanwhile, look up respectable
boarding house. or dine and spend
the evenings with friends as often a:
possible.
Il can sympathize with you. my
boy. Used to be in the same boa'
myself, you know.
You're welcome to my house just
as often as you choose to come. Wish
l could keep you there for while,
but l suppose that's out of the ques
tlOn. You would be another man II
q month"
NO" said l, Il don't think
should. The fact is, l don't believe
in the transmigration of souls"
Then l made a flying leap for ;
Broadway car and left Smith scratch
ing his head
He said to White afterwards:
THAT man Brown sets up for {
wit. but can't see anything in hi.
brilliant remarks. And l think In
as good q judge of that sort of thins
| as the next man."
And dare say he is.-New Yorl
| World.
Tho Pigeons OF st. Marks.
Nothing is more amusing than t
! 1uofoh nm a 1vin<orfc dow tho avsvol