The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-12-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Observed of all observers-The look.
ing-glass. Halo.
Struggles with the dentist generally
end in n draw. Halo.
"He is your closest friend?" eyes,
he never lends cent. Harvard Lam
poon.
Fly paper is gradually being with
drawn from circulation. - Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Yachts take spins to show whether
they are tip-top or not. Boston
Transcript
: Nearly every boy determines to whip
{ n certain school teacher when he grows
up -Atchison Globe.
Belle-'I can't bear to think of my
thirtieth birthday" Alice-"Why,
,dear-what happened"-Vogue.
When you can think of nothing bu5
lthe weather to talk about it is a good
time to keep quiet. .-Atchison Globe.
! 1t is noticeable that the man who
thinks he is whole show by himself
seldom draws crowd.-Milwaukee
journal.
! There is some consolation in being O
bachelor when you hear woman talk
fifteen minutes without taking q
full breath.
Money on call is not to had; that
is, not on one call. 1t takes many,f
and then you don't always get it
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
Miss Singleton-'T never expect
to marry" Miss Sateful--"But You
know it is the impossible that always
)happens. Boston Transcript.
"I guess I'll quit" said the boy who
was scraping perch at a market fish
stand. "rm tired of doing business on
such small scale. WashingtonStar!
'Tis now the heartless iceman,
With never the least ado,
Leaves on the steps a piece of ice
That will chill the whole house through.
Chicago Inter-ocean.
A boarder has good reason for suA
pecting his landlady of hypocrisy when
she advises him to eat sparingly if he
wishes to be healthy. New York Jour
NAL.
Painter Schmierlein's representa-
Itions of tropical life are SO realistic
THAT any critic who examines them too
long is sure to be afflicted with sun
lstroke. "-Schalk.
"My son, if you think it is hard
work to get up in the world, just try
Ito raise mustache and you will find
itinfnitely more difficult to get down. "
-Elmira Gazette.
Teacher Ito class in addition)-
"Now, take two mince pies and four
.mince pies, what does it make?"
Johnny Longhead - Nightmare,
ima'am New York Journal.
Young Mani want an engage
ment ring" Jeweler - eyes, sir.
About what size?" 81 don't know ex-
,aetly, but she can twist me round her
finger, if that's any guide "-Tit-Bits.
''While the lamp holds out TO burn"
Which line an old song does begin,
In these electric days should read:
'While yet the dynamo does spin"
Buffalo Courier
''What are you crying for, Fritz?"
because my brothers have holiday
.unu uhNeu I. Dul why uhNGu you
holiday, too?" Because I'm not
'old enough tot go to school yet. Pile
gende Blaetter.
Brightly dividing your detec-
tives into two squads you'd accom-
,plish great deal more" Burns
''What would | do that for?" Bright
$50 one-half could hunt clews while
the other went after criminals. -.
Vogue.
Tommy (who has been studying with
lbut poor successl sl-''Pop, my teacher
says history repeats itself; does it?"
Tommys Father - Eyes, my boy,
sometimes" Tommy Well, l wish
mine would repeat itself, cause
can't. "-Philadelphia Record.
/ The Professors Daughter - "Oh,
papa, here is the sweetest little bird,
THAT one of the boys caught in the
yard. / would SO like to keep il for a
pet, if ! only knew what it eats. The
Absent minded Professor-"W can
find that out easily enough. I'll cut
lit open and examine its crop '-lndi-
journal.