The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1893-05-28

down by the evening lamp to improve
their minds. With the practical Home
Physician" spread unon his knees, the
medical dictionary under his arm and the
distilling apparatus beside MIN OK the
table, Upton was veritable image of
paterfamilas studying for the good of his
helpless dependents. Opposite him. with
"Home Medication" in her lap, Mrs. Upton
looked like dutiful pupil. fully aware OF
the masters great superiority.
Herbert, dear" said Mrs. Upton. after
prolonged study of Home Medication"
this book says We all eat too much IN
this country, and that half the disease
among the people is directly traceable to
overlooking"
II don't doubt it, DEAR in the least. My
book says we eat too rapidly, as ell on.
LIN sure we do, for here are full directions
for eating slowly. 1t says every mouthful
should be chewed twenty times before it
is swallowed'
MY dear, listen to this:
Every doctor knows what it is to be called
out at midnight to prescribe for a colicky
adult, who has gorged himself with rich food
Just before retiring, and if doctors had III
courage 10 speak the truth they would tell
these human pigs to eat less and work more ii
they would be free from pain.
But, Herbert, love. this seems to con-
tradict that" and Mrs. Upton read:
In fact, our people are nation of starvlings
Our women are feeble and sIckIy for want of
because they do not eat enough. Doctors
starve their patients and patients diet them
selves into eternity.
"Curious," frowned Upton. Seems to
be a discrepancy. Let us see what the
hydropathy man says" and he read:
In a word, less food and more drink is what Is
needed. Cold water is natures panacea for all
Ills. Warm water Keeps man tat aud healthy.
One meal of simple. unlocked cereals per day
and plenty of pure water would make of us a
nation OF eenlenarians.
Here is something further" said Mrs.
Herbert, reading from Medicine In the
Family:
Our people drink too much water. 1t is often
impure aud nearly always injurious. Ii dilutes
the gastric juices and is a prolific source of III
digestion. Those people are healthest who
drink but little and eat satisfying quantities of
wholesome aud varied food.
In multitude of counsel there is wis
dom" said Upton, reading from another
OF the books. which said:
If man would be we'll let him never eat at
night or after 8 O'Clock In the afternoon Trna
is il, indeed. That nutriment taken into the
stomach Is golden in the morning, silver at
noen and poison at night.
But just notice this" and Mrs. Upton
read:
In fact, the best rule Is to eat when you are
disposed and what you are inclined TO. The
stomach is not mere machine. 1t has its
moods and humors, as do we, and these are en-
lit ed to respect If man would live long ana
be happy.
They seem to conflict, Herbert" she
said. plaintively.
"Never mind. darling; there must be a
way Of reconciling them. for, you know,
these opinions are based upon scientific
observation and cannot really be in con-
filct," and the two resumed their study.
L met Upton at his office one pleasant
morning in July, having accepted an invi-
tation to spend week with the family.
He was attred in suit of yellow flannel.
with stout, laced shoes, broad brmmed
high hat and white gloves. Over his
mouth and n0strils he wore a continuance
of antiseptic gauze filled with absorbing
cotton.
How is this?" l asked. "Broken your
jaw? Why didn'tyou write me about ii 2"
'Oh no, but wonder at your reckless
ness in going bout without observing the
commonest precautions to preserve your
health"
Il don't understand you." 1 said,
blandly.
why, man alive" was his reply. "Here
you are IN gray suit that, more than.any-
thing else, attracts the SUMS rays. Yellow
is the only color that can be safely worn
in dog days. You're liable to get your
feet chilled in those thin shoes. and who
knows what poison you may contract
through your ungloved hands"
Upton spoke thickly through his cotton,
and again L asked why he wore such
gag.
''As means of safety, my boy. Don't
you know the air of this city is full OF
calcarious carbonates? Why. my little
boy was i'll the other day and | gave him
an intinitesimal dose of cal. carb. 1t
acted like charm. / saw at once what a
powerful agent it is, and looking il up in
chemistry discovered that L was taking it
in on every side, with every breath l drew.
Why, my system might become loaded
with cal. carb. before l knew it but for
this seasonable precaution."
l gazed at my friend in awe, marveling
at the depth Of his newly acquired knowl-
edge.
l was busy about town all day and did
not get up to the house until dinner-time
that night. A pleasant meal was served
in the cheerful dining-room, where the
table bore varied abundance of appel T.
ing viands. Both Mr. and Mrs. Upton ate
with apparently ravenOuS appetites. and
began to think their pallid looks and evil
dent dyspepsia must be due to overlooking.
Yet they were both thin; even the baby
was lean ard pale. Still. l began to think
my friend Upton less of a crank than had
feared
After dinner Upton lay back in his easy-
chair and snored. while Mrs. Upton re-
cllned IN another easy chair and did nothing
Tor an hour. We passed deligh tful even
Ing, and was later shown to a pleasant
room, where | slept soundly in good bed.
NeAt luuFuinS L was summoned early to
breakfast that filled me with wonder. A
steaming urn of hot water stood on the
table, row of cups and saueers beside it.
Nothing more. Here's cheer" said In
ton heartily. Here's to your health"
and he drank at draught the cup OF boil
Ing water his vile drew for him. l slipped
a little from a spoon. Don't do thatW
he cried in alarm. Don't you know that
With every teaspoonfu you take in
mouthful of cold air and injurious gases
Drink it, man. while tits hot"
struggled with the scalding stuff, while
Upton explained his system of diet. based
upon his medical reading.
You see," he said, 1--WE knew these
opinions were all based upon scientific
truths and must be correct, even though To
our unselen tific minds they seemed con-
Trajectory. We studied the matter for
long time and finally hit upon our system.
Yesterday we lived upon the fat of the
land. ate heartily and loafed, as DR.. STUFF
fem advises. To-day we revel in the sim
pie Injuries of the famous water-cure dis
covery of Dr. Wetter. To-morrow we
adopt vegetarian diet and partake of no
food after 3o'cock P. NJ. On the next day
we eat when, how and what we please. as
Professor Colt advises; and so, in turn.
through the week, we follow the counsel
OF some learned savant, aud thus do JUS
tlce to all, and ourselves reap the benefit
OF their united wisdom"
Amazed beyond words at this astnund
ing logic L could only sip my cup of hot