The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-08-15
TWO JOHN ALLEN STORIES.
The Funny Mississippi COngressman's Il.
IustratiOn of Negro wit.
Clark Avenue and Tenth Street.


IustratiOn of Negro wit.
Congressman John Allen, the bub-
bling humorist from Mississippi, is in
great favor in Washington circles, for
he generally has bright story at his
tongues end. He was RECALLING crowd
of friends with some southern stories,
and among them was the one which
follows, one of the few stories of Allen s
that h as not got into print:
Allen had employed on his place an
old negro servant, who in times before
the war was the property of the con-
CHEESEMAN'S father. Old Uncle Rufus
suffered frequent and ungovernable at
tacks of kleptomania, attacks that
seemed to be beyond all remedy.
He was arrested time and time again
for stealing articles from the
place of his employer. Mr.. Allen
finally grew tired of attempting to
reform his old servant, and he had him
arrested for stealing big piece of side
meat from the plantation storehouse.
1t was the intention to have the serv-
ant serve out brief time in the coun-
ty Jail for the offense with the hope
that the imprisonment would check
him in his habit of stealing. The old
man pleaded hard with the ,.''young
mahstah' to be released. and recalled
all the favors and kindnesses he had
shown Mr.. Allen when that dignitary
was still boy. Allen began to weaken
on the line of this argument and was
about ready to release the servant on
the strength of his past services. He
turned to Uncle Rufus with:
Now, Uncle Ruff, if You will bring
back that side meat; and promise me
on the Bible that you will never steal
another thing from this plantation, l
will let you go. Furthermore you
will have to sign q paper promising on
your solemn honor never to steal
again
Uncle Rufus hesitated for a moment.
''Mahs' john" said he, Use willin'
to glib you back de side meat. Yes,
sab. I'll do dat, I'll do dat-but now.
look yeah, Mahs' Johh-you can't
'spect me to sign away my rights"
Aliens generous ways made him
very popular with the old-time negroes,
and frequently he was called upon,
without expectation of compensation,
to defend them in suits for pilfering
On one occasion eolored preacher of
the neigh borhood was on trial for steal
ing some poultry from a neighbor
The preacher protested his innocence,
and Allen made a very able defense
for him. The evidence, however was
very strong against the parson, and
Mr. Allen saw that his client would
probably be convicted. He whis-
pered to him after the case
had gone to the jury and told
him to prepare to meet the worst. The
preacher was shrewd old fellow, but
he could not just see how he was going
to get out OF the scrape. The jury was
ont only a few minutes and the preach
er lost all hope. After the jury had
taken their seats and the foreman was
beginning to read the verdict the old
preacher jumped up from his seat and
bawled out:
''Yo' honah' Use"
'Sit down, said the court. and, turn
ing TO the attorney: what does the
prisoner mean?"
''To' honah. persisted the prisoner.
Il move dat dis cot do adjou' n"
well" replied the court, somewhat
amused. how do you expect the court
to adjourn?'
Because" continued the prisoner.
"a motion to adjourn is always in or
dab. sab. Indianapolis Journal