Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-12-28

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he wants to succeed he must keep in
practice, -Plcayune,
THE popular pianist finds little diff
tculty in realizing on his notes Of
hand. Buffalo Courier.
The sculptor is generally fishing
for fame when he makes a cast,
Glens Falls Republican.
THE philosopher is a wise man who
absolutely refuses to have any enc
mics. Galveston News.
He is a miss guided youth who
does everything his sweetheart asks
him to do. Boston Courier.
IT is rather too much to expect a
man on his uppe's to be a whole
souled fellow. Buffalo Courier.
No MAN is as good as he demands
the young man shall be who asks for
his daughter. -Atchison Globe.
'THE most pathetic college cry is
that Of the youth whose remittance
failed to arrive. Plain Dealer.
THERE have not been so many revo-
lutions on the seas since the close of
the bathing season, Plain Dealer.
IT is a consola ion when another
man is in trouble to think that it
will prove valuable lesson to him.
-Atchison Globe.
"RIGHT here" said the minister, 81
would like to have the cents Of this
meeting. The collectors will pro-
eed."-Plain Dealer.
Mr.. PRDIE-"Mrs. Dawson fairly
worships that son of hers" Miss
Splteful-"Yes; he is so unlike his
father, Music and Drama,
WHEN there is company in the
house the members of the family be-
gin to say "Good morning" to each
other at breakfast. -Atchison Globe
CHATS a point in your favor"
said the lawyer to his new type
writer, as she completed a very nice
job of pencil-sharpening. - Buffalo
Courier.
He IAN old hand) - They have
dropped their anchor. She Ga begin
ner)-Served them right. 1t has been
hanging over the side all day long. -
Tid-Bits.
"HAvEN'T seen you Tor an age,
Charlie?" mo; I've changed my
business" what are you now?"
"FlOOrWalker. It's twins. Detroit
Free Press.
"POoR Jimmie! Foive years in Sing
Sing! l do feel shorty for him." "Be-
dad, an yure shympathy's trowed
away. He's surrounded by frinds. -
Brooklyn Life.
"DID / hear you say that you have
found in your mother-in-law your
ideal?" ayes, indeed; all the COM
ments ever made on mothers-in-law
apply to her!"-Fliegende Batter.
THE CLERGYMAN - "And why
should little boys say their prayer
every night?" The Good Boy--"So's
the Lord can have a chance to get
what they want by morning. Life
PAPA-Won't you be glad when
you are big man, Harry? Harry
No, papa. Papa Why not? Harry
Why, because then | cannot get into
the circus for half price. --Harper's
Young People.
PEDEsTRIAN-You should be in
better business than begging. A
great, strong fellow like you ought to
look for work. Beggar-What!
Throw up sure thing for an uncer-
tainty?-Tid-Bits.
SINGLEToN-In her girlhood days
your wife was possessed of a very
sunny disposition. Has she any of it
yet? Longwed - Well-er-enough
to make things warm for me occas-
ionally Buffalo Courier.
"AREN'T you glad you have little
brother to play with, TOMB" inquir-
ed neighbor referring to the fort
night-old Snow baby. "Play with"
echoed Tom, scornfully. "Why, he
can't even wash his own face!"-Ex.
change.
AT THE CLUB. MIR. Murray Hill
"You here, Uptown? Why, l under
stood your daughter was to be mar
ried tonight" Mr.. Uptown-"So
she is; but l make it a rule never to
mix in other peoples affairs. Texas
Siftings.
AN error of the press, for which
an ample apology must be forth com.
ing: When you think you're press.
ing the foot of the pretty niece under
the table and find you've accidentally
been pressing that of the elderly
maiden aunt.-Drake's Magazine.
Mr.. EAsTsIDE-"I heard you had
the bad luck to upset your plate of
soup over lady's silk dress at the
dinner yesterday" Mr.. Westside-
"Yes, it was pretty hard luck for me-
You know it is contrary to etiquette
to ask for a second plate of soup. y
Texas Siftings.
KIDDER-"Did it ever occur to you
that in riding bicycle you might be
encouraging certain form of gam
bling?" Ministerial Enthusiast
Horrors, no! There's no gambling
about a bicycle, is there?" Kidder
--"Ain't, ehP I'd just like to know
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