Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-28
Let Us All Laugh.

and take the baby.-Troy Press.
as BARTON rich?" SWELL, only re-
latively SO. He has a rich aunt. -
Puck.
THE epcure is a masticator who
appreciates q master caterer-BOs-
ton Courier.
THE average farmers boy leaves no
stone unturned except the grindstonc.
Texas Siftings.
MARJORIE-Jack Is very dashiny
fellow. Madge-Yes lie swears
MISUNDERSTANDING.
No TOWN looks as we'll from the
car window as 1t does in q boom cir
cular.-Atchison Globe.
THE girl who had a falling out
with her friend will not try the ham,
mock agatn.-Picayune.
"How PLEASANT it is to be tall"
Pleasant? Yes, everybody looks up
to you. New York Press.
"TRAvERs says his best poems are
still unwritten." mo doubt. That's
why they're the best" - Chicago
Record.
ODDLY enough it IL when a woman
retires to a convent that she gives up
her conventional ways. - Buffalo
| Courier.
HORSE dealer-I always pick my
customer. Eriend-Do you? l was
told that you skinned them.-Brook-
Ign Life.
STRANGE, living SO long here, that
l haven't met you before" "Not at
all. l don't owe you anything
Chicago Record.
Mrs. POTTs-Mrs Flyer called this
afternoon. Jack Potts (ahse mind
edly)-What did You have?-Phila-
delphia Record.
| CYNICAL editor-Ah, it is the way
Of the world. We never strew flow
ers on a mans grave until after he is
dead.-Texas Siftings.
"IT's terrible the way the CONVEX
satiOn is dragging. What shall
dO?" He-You might get up a game
of whist.-Inter Ocean.
SOMEONE has asked: "Where do
flies go in winter" We don't know,
but we wish they would go there in
summer. Siftings.
NO" SAID Grogan, ut is not me-
self thot is in favor of shorter hours.
There is too many hours in the day as
1t is."-Indianapolis journal.
| STALATE-I wish l could do some
thing to achieve notoriety. Ethel
Knox-Why don't you try sudden
disappearance?-Harper's Bazaar.
NIAGARA is in the group of the
ice king and several hackmen are re.
ported badly frozen. Retribution,
they name is Boreas!-ChicagO Post.
Il UNDERSTAND Jigson is financial
ly interested in the concern he is
WITH" ayes, they owe him six
months salary. WestAeld Union.
PAPA-"Do you say grace at the
seminary?" Product of Modern Edu-
cation-"Certainly. Inever heard OF
more than one pronunciation. -
Truth.
THE papers are full of benevolent
suggestions about fresh-air schemes,
but none of them include any hints
concerning the hand-0rgan. -Phila-
delphia Times.
ode singin' OBJ birds is sweet" re-
marked Uncle Eben, "but de cackle
OBJ er chichin' on yer own hen roos'
has er heap mo- expression in it,
Washington Star.
PASSENGER (On slow train)-"What
are we stopping for?" Conductor
SCOT hot box" Passenger-"Huh!
Some tramp must have built a fire
under it" New York Weekly.
TRAMP--Give me your jewelry and
money. -Unprotected Female-Have
pity on me in my lonely state.
Tramp-Alone, are you? Give me q
chunk of ice.-Detroit Free Press.
MRS. HIGHERMAN-"Now, about
that man you sent over to me-is he
honest?" Mrs. Fircman-"Well,
should say. He has been tried twice
for stealing and has escaped both
times"
TENEYCK-"The Perks have taken
their cook abroad with them this
year." Blueton-"Yes. She invited
them to stay month at her mothers
summer residence in Connau yht.
Bazaar.
MOTHER-"Do you think his love
for you is unseltish?" Daughter
Perfectly. The other night he let
me sit so long on his knee that he
walked lame for ten minutes. New
York Weekly.
WITHERBY-"You haven't seen nv
new boy, have you? They say he
takes after his father" Plankington
-"If he takes the same thing his
father takes, Pm sorry for him, old
man Detroit Free Press.
LIvINGsTON-I didn't know that
you and Mrs. Featherspray were sc
well acquainted. Nina-Oh, yes: we
are distantly related. Livingston
How? Nina-We are both sisters te
the same young man.-Vogue.
SHE-You are the afst one who
ever kissed me that way. He-You
mean you never before felt a lovers