Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1893-07-22
A SILENT BARBER.
An EgotisticaI Bostonian's Dismal Failure
to Make the Man Talk.

An Egotisticat Bostonian's Dismal Failure
to Make the Man Talk.
The man about town finds many
thing to interest himself nowadays.
He is something of an optimist, and he
finds bright exceptions to disagreeable
rules. The other day he felt happy
because he was able to knock higher
than the Washington monument the
familiar comic paper theory that all
BARRIERS like to talk their customers to
death. lie came and told me all about
it and rejoiced with him, for he had
discovered a silent barber.
81 went into basement barber shop
connected with fashionable hotel"
he said, "to get my morning shave.
Personally l rather like the merry
prattle of the barber. He knows every,
thing that's going to happen, from N
sure thing on the races and base bali
down to a sure cure for any complaint
or sure dream on a policy gig.
~ leaned back in the chair puffed
at my cigar and then told him to 60
over my face twice. He looked me
straight in the face.
"'Twice,' said distinctly. Heloolsed
again and held up two fingers inquir-
ingly. / shook my head in acquies-
cence.
"'The Bostons have been playing
pretty good ball. said by way of sug-
gesting topic for conversation.
Not a word from the barber.
Ibid you lose any stuff on Diablo?'
Iasked, Frightening at my own thought
that horse racing would touch him on
a conversational point.
but the horse racing didn't phase
him.
Il waited perhaps two minutes. The
barber went on shaving.
"'Been to the theater lately?' Iper-
sisted, for with that thought l might
tempt him to break his stubborn si-
lence.
'Not murmur of approval or rebuff
from the sphinx-lise artist.
WAS he teasing me?
81 began to think So and sullenly re-
signed myself to his little practical
joke. hoping to hold up my end, too.
when he finished working with the
razor and held up the hamamelis bottle,
l shook my head negatively and shook
for Yes when the bay rum came in
sight.
when he soaked the cloth with hot.
water and pointed to it carried out.
the game by holding up four fingers,
and he obeyed my directions to the let
ter, rubbing the cloth to my face four
times.
1T was eXasperating.
'He pointed to my hair. and with the
aid of the mirror asked me, all the time
by signs, if wanted it brushed back
in beautiful, waving mass, SO much
approved by BARRIERS, or parted in the
middle and brushed on either side half
carelessly.
"He read my answer by signs.
"At last the work was finished. What
talking had been done had done, and
that early in the game.
Then drew myself out of the chair
and arranged my collar as best could,
for it was attached to my shirt and was
n bit crumpled, and all the while the
barber looked on, as l believed, half
sneeringly.
He passed me the check marked ff-
teen cents pulled out shiny twenty
! tive-cent piece, all glowing with new
ness and handed it to him with the
check for a shave.
Now, look here said I to him,
break away. Why don't you speak TO
a customer
Don't mind him, said the boss bar
Der from corner of the shop. The
man who shaved you is deaf and dumb,
and the egg phosphates We're on me. y"
Boston Herald.