The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1893-05-21
BATCH OF SHORT STORIES
How Jacksonville Justices of the Peace
Drum Up Matrimonial Business.
An Inviting Left Handed Compliment
Why He Was Striking-Dsformity Incl
dent to the Circle Sidewalk.

From time to time the press of the State
young people of the sister States coming
to Indiana to be joined in holy wedlcok.
Jacksonville. on the Ohio river has been
known for many years as the "Gretna
Green" for eloping couples. and many
amusing occurrences have arisen at that
place.
EDhraim Keigwin now and for many.
years past has been Justice of the peace
at Jeffersonvllle, and TITS said that he has
joined the hearts and hands of moro than
i've thousand couples. 1t has been claimed
that the various justices living on the bor-
der have had runners" guiding them to
the courts of Justice. or. more aptly styled,
cupld's bower.
John Hause. residing in Jacksonville.
w Was for many years connected with
many was the couple that he has directed
to the office of the Squire, where their
troth was plighted for better or for
worse. and until some court should say
what man has Joined together the
court may tear asunder. Hause
had been so long connected with the
justice court, and knowing the ms and
outs concluded IL good thing. and con-
Guided to shy his castor IL the ring and
u
Justice. and opened his office. A neat
building on the street fronting the
river was procured and htted up. In
crossing the river from Kentucky one IL
landed by the ferry at the foot OF the nil
and taking the walk up TO the top of the
hill the following notice on building
meets his eve, wedding parlor'-and on
the side of the door MARRIAGE licenses pro-
cured"-and this il the Office of Squire
Hause. Business seems TO be good. There are
ma N Istfa "A w ara
able to tell upon the landing of the ferry
just who it Is that desire the offices of the
Justice. and are cautiously approached and
taken to the justice office, where the bride
awaits the return of the groom from the
courthouse. whittier he goes to secure that
parchment that allows the union of hearts
and hands +
when / sees dat duffer down on de end
seat my heart goes mp inter me mouth"
said the small boy who shines shoes at
observation-disclosures barber shop. 81
sees dat his lamps Was twisted. and so ]
boilers ont to de new man on de red plush
chair dat bad fairy wus in sight. What's
q bad fairyP Pshawl Why. JONAH
of course. Where you been studyin'
yer elercutionl Now if had ter
shine de shoes of dat bad fairy knows me
luck In thrown seven or maxim me point
was gone. So wOt did do but goes out in
front ter catch u breath of fresh air when
il came time ter call next on der man
wild der lamps crossed. Bot der bad larry he
sees me and says. Come here boy. l
want er shine / pretends / don't see him.
cause be was lookin' anuther way.
He was looking at the man on dc
red plush chair and dis new barber wus er
duck from New Mexico wOt won't take
stuff from any man. See her. me FRIEND
says der new barber, Il Amt der shoe
shinin' business. but III lit yer up fer de
ambulance if yer tinker wild yer tongue
like dat AGAIN.
Der bad fairy begins ter speak back ter
de new barber. but he looks at all de
time. an thinks he WINS fslkin' ter me- i
wue not addressing you, sir. says be. No.
snys L. Il know de insult not Intended
fer me- When say dat, der bad fairy he
becomes indignsntand begins ter talk to me.
bot of course he fastens has eyes de new
barber from New Mexico. Yer pretty dsrned
impudent' says he, and dat sets do new
barber wild Den dey mixed. and q
feast of good mIxin' DAT Was. De bad
fairy got ter adnlt4rating der dirt on de
floor wid his tangled HAIR. aud after der
new barber cot threw wid bin helps kick
der bad fairy out der door. and says ter
him:
1--WE don't issue any RAIN checks after
der frat innin'p
Dat same night made seven passes. an