Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-06-05
A Great Day For Agents.

1t was just after Christmas that
got round so that I had a day to run
my candles, That was great day
for agents, too. Agents! 1 should
think so. Seems as if all the agents
in New England took a Decline for
Pottsville.
I'd hurried round, and got the
washin' an ironin' an lot o. bakin'
done UP the fust O. the week, an
Wednesday 1 got up early, ready to
make sassage and run candles.
I'd got my fat on, am my meat all
ready to chop, when there came rap
at the settin'room door. Before
could get there, however, it opened,
and in walked fattish kind of a wo-
man, carryin' a sort of leather case in
one hand.
''Ho do you do, ma'am?" she asked,
tallzin' as if her life depended on it,
am never waitin' for an answer.
s'Ain't it a nice day? How's your
health? Are your folks well? Did I
understand from lady up the road
here that you had seven children?
one? Never mind. 1 have here,
ma'am-she'd been unrollin' her case
all the time, and here took out a roll
of something" have here a new
style of corset that gives most styl-
ISL air to the stoutest figure. This is
the most remarkable corset ever pro-
duced in this age or any other. Why,
it makes stout person look slim as a
girl, or slim one look nice and
plump 1 should advise you as a
friend, ma'am to buy this corset. 1t
has an electric spring in the back that
viii keep you warm in the coolest
day, and so equalizes the temperature
as to prevent your becoming over
heated in the warmest weather. It
has galvanized iron springs in front
that are so comfortable you'll hate to
take them off at night, while they i'm
part grace and beauty to female
figure that is unequaled in the history
of corsets in the past. just let me
how it will improve your figure.
Why"
Just here [ smelt my fat burnin' and
rushed out to there in hot haste, but
she followed.
'EIt will impart truly marvellous
charm to your manner, and you will
be admired by everybody. You know
men just love an elegant figure.
She said this last in such a lacka
daisical way, it maddened me, and
broke in:
''Men!" says l. "Men! An [ an
married woman! What business have
I goin' round incitin' the admiration
o. men? H'aint | a pardner! Don't
he admire me just as much in loose
calico sack as he would in a set of
electric spring, galvanized sheet-iron
corsets? don't want to hear no more
such talk, an [ won't, neither!'
She see she was on the wrong track
SO she begun over again.
''Well, you wear corsets? All ladies
do, of course. We SELL
mo, ma'am," says I, 'EI don't wear
corsets, nor never did. Iiput on some
once, an felt as if I'd been run into
plaster o. Paris mould, such as they
put on folks with spinal an kindred
diseases"
''Oh, but these you could wear, I'm
sure!" she went on. determined to
get round me some, way. "You
wouldn't be without them a single
day if you knew how they would i'm
prove your figure
''My f1gger," 1 went on, calmly
pickin' up my chopin tray, els just
as the Lord made it. If He'd wanted
a galvanized trap round me, He'd "a
built one there to begin with. So long
as He and my Johnson are satisfied
with it, be-"
She. see it wasn't any use to talk
corset to me any longer, so she got
out some tape stuff and begun again.
LET me sell you some hose support
ers, then"
''Hoes supporters!" says I. "My
Iandl what won't they get up next?
Why, John always keeps his hoes |
hung up in the shed chamber through |
the winter, till plantin' time; and
then he supports them himself-ex-
cept when the neighbors come up an,
lean over the fence to talk politics. |
don't think he'd think necessary to
buy any hoes supporters