davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Mr.. Rapid: woman has to live a year
in Chicago before she can get a divorce.
Mrs. DeSmith: Yes, i: comes high. but it Is
worth it
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

81 took the pledge against swearing las
New Years Day. Indeed. And how dc
you get along:' Very we'll. but the crucial
tes5 is approaching" How" II am so
ing to take porous plaster OF my back to
night"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Lanes Medicine Moves the Bowels
Each Day. In order to be healthy this is
necessary. Cures constipation, headache.
kidney and liver troubles and regulates the
stomach and bowels Price SOC and Sl.O0 at
all dealers
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
Senator John Martin.

John Martin, of To-
peka, received So votes
In the joint session of
the Kansas legislature;
Cobun got 5 votes, and
l vote each was given
to Hanna. Snyder and
Close. Wilson, indie
pendent republican.
and O'Bryan and Ros-
enthal democrats
voted for John Martin.
Lieutenant Governor
Daniels declared Mar
tin elected senator.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

| Jimmie said mamma, you have
smashed your train of cars almost to splint-
ers 1; aren't you ashaned?' Il didn't do il. }"
''who did it," Il don't know until hold
| an inquest |"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

The Bi. Sister: Tommy. what do yor
mean By shifting al Mr.. Slowpay's over
oat? Inc Little Brother: Eth tryin' t.
thmell thmoks. When pa thaw it he thaiG
the mutht been a fire thomewhere.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Look out for counterfeits! See that you
get the geaulne -alvation Oil! Do not let
the dealer Sc you some lust rs good" but
Isist upon getting the genuine with the
Bulls Head trade mark on the wrapper.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

'Do you quarrel with your neighbor still
about his dog coming over into your garden ?
| "NO: that's all over now" Buried the
hatchet.' No: bur ed the dog"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Willie: It's lucky man that dies ct New
Years Nilly: How 20? Willy: Why, be
- credit for al the good resolutions b
1oaldn't have kept.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

s'You do not dazzle one with your intel
lect, Freddy" ''No; me man tends to all
that, chu know"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

When Visiting Kansaa city Stop nc
the Blossom House opposite Union Depot
First Glass in every respect, Rates, $3.50 per
day.
Cable cars to all parts of the city pass the
door.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Disease is unnatural and is but the proof
that we are abusing Nature. 1t IS Claimed
that Garfield Tea, simple herb remedy,
helps Nature to overcome this abuse.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Gibbs: I think they mus. have cut the
opera very much last night, don't you?
Smler: guess SO, for it seemed awfully
weak toward the last
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

She: Why IN the world does he call hi
feet poetic? He: Because they go to NEE
her. YOU know.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Young Callowe: expect to start for Lon
don and Paris tomorrow. Can I do any
thing for you? Prunella: Yes; be sure moi
to mics your steamer.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Coughing Lesds 20 to"sumpi"".
kcmps Balsam will stop the cough at
once. Go to your druggist to-day and get a
sample bottle free. Large bottles SOC and 81.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

A man who lives fast cannot expect that
enjoyment will keep up with him.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

'eNeithe. my father nor grandfather ever
did q bit of work in their lives" boasted the
visiting young man. Gosh" said Uncle
Summerboar, ''wuz they feeble-mmded,
tooYs
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Nellie: Mamma. Geordie's swallowed Z
quarter an he's chokin'. ''Oh. my child
Why did you do it! Now l haven't enough
for car fare"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Poet: have a little poem hera, sir, that
has been indited-" Swell, sir, would be
Glad to see 1t convicted but cannot try it. -
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

One woman has gone insane because of
her hired glr,. Perhaps that is the easiest
way.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

We have noticed page article in the Ddty Gtooe
on red ucing weight Mt very small expense: IL
will pay readers to send two-cent s.aS .st
Chicago. Ill,
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
Spcc;al Announcement.

The mother tongue is probably the Ian
guage of Mars.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

"Sophtis is badly troubled with dyspep
isa." That's because he is SO gullible. y
ssWhat has that to do with it," HE swal-
lows everything"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

EsYS-Au fits stopped free py Oh. KLINES GkkA1
NERvH RESTORER. No fit after first days use. MAT.
yeIous cures and e2 90 trial bottle free 70
800 send to DR. Kline Arch St Phindephia. IA.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

This country might bestow on one of its
| cowboy yersi.iers the title of pOet-lariat.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

The humor:s OF this country seem to have
made butt of the goat.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
COuchlnS Leads

If any young man wants to lind out what
the wild waves are saving. let him 20 to sea.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Many a wise man has picked up good
suggestion where some fool dropped it.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

81 only got a nominal fee in that case, y
said Brief. $50 the plaintiff said. He said
your charges were phenomenal"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Mrs. Fifty who thinks she appears youth
fuD: You may be surprised to hear that
that tall young man Is my son. Mr.. Gauche :
Yes, indeed, thought he was your grand
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
4 DISTURBANCE

isn't uha. yoc want, If your stom-
och and bowels arc irregular.
That's about all you get, though,
with tho ordinary pill. It may re-
isve you for the moment, but
you're usually in q worse state af.
terward than before.
l This is just where DR.. Picrcei
Pleasant Pellets do most good.
They act in an easy and natural
way, very different from the huge.
old-fashioned pills. They're not
only plesanter, but there's no 10
action afterward, and their help
] lasts. One little sugar-costed pellet
for a gentle laxative or corrective
| three for q cathartic. Constipa,
ton. Indigestion, Bilious Attacks,
Dizziness, Sick and Biliouc Head.
aches, are promptly relieved and
cured.
They're the smallest, the easiest
to lakeland the cheapest pill you
can buy, for they're guaranteed to
give satisfaction, or your money il
returned.
You pay only for tho good yor
get.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
SDrayinT.

A genius Is a person who finds out things
for other DeOp!e.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

"Hanson's Magic Corn Salve."
Warranted to cure, money refunded. Ask your
druggist forit Price Is cents
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

What is done cannot be undone, especially
if it is q hard-boiled egg.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

Many a man thinks he can road woman
like book till he tries to shut her up.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

II the Baby L. Cutting Teeth
BE sure and use that old and we,ltred remedy, NEE
Wtys1ov's SOOTHING SYRUP for children teething.
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
important to Fleshy People.

"Why are you stopping the ciock!' II
save time"
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03
Pain Self-Infllcted.

A Snow Bawl: Say, who threw that
The Globe-republican., 1893-02-03

c~~%oI~~o No v>OIcCO
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Women and Badness.

'Did you ever see a woman that
was entirely bald? Would you
marry a bald-headed woman?" were
the two questions that Perry For
rest of Cincinnati fired at q Globe
Democrat reporter in the corridor
of the Southern yesterday. ''You
haven't and you would't, of course
not. Then why is it that woman
will show an utter disregard for
hair on a mans head and marry
him if be has top like billiard
ball when man wouldn't recog-
nize bald headed woman on the
street even if she was his own
mother? Why is it that one sex
enjoys absolute immunity from
badness and the other is prone to
it? If the causes of badness at
tributed to men are correct, why
shouldn't they apply to women az
we'll? am not q biologist and can't
answer these questions. but I am
interested in finding the man who
has ever seen q woman that was en-.
tirely bald. And, then, when I find
him I want to find the one who
would marry q bald headed woman
Then I'd like to know why they
don't get bald" Globe Democrat
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Hiding In His Own Hair.

Wilhelm Schmidt, living four
miles south of this place, has be-
come one of the most remarkable
freaks outside ofthe museums, says
a Conneaut, Ohio, correspondent of
the Pittsburg Dispatch. He has
been in this country thirty-four
years, but is unable and unwilling
to speak word of English, living
with his wife and daughter on an
isolated little farm that yields corn
and potatoes enough for the trio.
A visitor, from curiosity, called on
the old man recently and thus de-
scribes what he saw: what proved
to be Schmidt sat in an armchair
in the center Of the one-roomed
house. Only huge mound of hai'
surmounting his shoulders was Wis
ible-not q human feature to be
seen. Schmidt propped his cain
against his chair, and with both
hands pulled this shock Of hai'
open. showing bis face, which il
bleached and uncanny looking likt
vegetables grown under cover: Only
! for minute was the mans face <
Be seen. for he dropped the curtain
Of hair back over it, saying in Ger
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Pocket, or Pin Money.

The "signi6cance Of billion" as
illustrated by a United States coin,
is best shown in this example
Place q five-dollar gold piece on the
ground and pile upon it as many as
will reach 200 feet in height, then
place numbers of similar columns
in close contact, forming straight!
line and making . sort OF wall
twenty feet high, showing only the
thin edges of the coin. Imagine
two such walls running parallel to
each other. and forming, as it were
q long street. It would be neces'
sary to keep on extending these
wallis for miles, nay, hundreds o.
miles, and still be far short OF the
required number, and not until w
had extended our imaginary street
TO q distance Of 2, 1861 miles, shall
have presented for inspection ont
billion Of fcoins.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
It Makes an Impression.

"Its the greatest idea in the
world" said William H. Pascoe, as
he stood at the desk in the Southern
Hotel yesterday rubbing his glasses
with q $50 bill.
"Now, I can't see ten feet with
out my glasses, and glasses have a
tendency to become blurred, you
know.
"Now, have worn spectacles
constantly for over twenty-five
years, and have, in small way
made study ofthem. A linen hand.
kerchief does not clean them we'll
and silk is always sure to leave a
thread sticking to the frames. :.
"Paper is Of no account, as II
leaves specks on the glass. Cotton
is sure to leave a lot of lint behind
it. Chamois is too thick, and kid
don't do at all. I've tried them all
and know. The thing to use, my
boy, is a bank note; it cleans the
glasses beautifully and leaves moth
ing behind it.
"Of course it isn't necessary tc
use a fifty every time, but | hap
pened to have this one loose in my
pocket, and I'm expecting frienc
along in few minutes and
wanted to make an impression
Yes, they say bills carry disease
with them, but ! amt afraid much
I've never caught anything from
them. You can use q one as wei
as fifty, but use a fifty if you can
there is more money in it."-St
Louis Globe Democrat.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
He Dies Regularly Once Week.

An Italian, who cannot be other
than a most remarkable imposter,
has been playing wonderful tricks
upon the good people of Tifiis, in
the Caucasus, Russia. His name
is Tagarelli, and, while he cannot
be termed an Italian in the strict
sense of the word, having been born
| in Russia of parents born in the
same country, it is known that ne
is of that extraction. He is known
all over the land of the Gear as
1.-THE Dying Prophet" his ability
| to delude the public depending on
the queer faculty he has for dying
and returning to life once every
week. A person who has viewed
the situation on the ground says
"The audacity of his pretensions,
the skill with which they are main
tanned and, above all, the profound
effect produced upon all who come
in contact with him, have no paral-
lei in history. He is most extra
ordinary being, and if he be an
imposter then he is the most mar
velous imposter of the age"
i He dies, to all appearances, and
the ordinary death tests declare that
life is extinct. While in this con-
dition he declares that his spirit
visits "the other world" but which
of the two he will not tell. All that
he will diyulge in regard to his do
! ings while on these "trips" is that
he examines the Book of Life, and
that he can tell the spiritual stand
4 ing of every person who cares
enough about it to make inquiries
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Made of Human Eyes.

A wonderful necklace is to be
exhibited at the Chicago exhibition.
It is the property of rich merch-
ant of that city and is composed of
three rows of human eyes, all in a
state of perfect preservation, pol
ished and set in a magnificent
mounting of gold.
These eyes were taken from the
mummies in the burying places of
the Incas in Puru. At africa there
are immense cemeteries filled
with ancient tombs. The mummies
are so numerous that they can be
found by simply scraping the soil.
They can be readily purchased for
81 or SO.
The eyes in question come from
the tombs of africa. They were
brought from South America by
Mr.. Curtis, member of the scien-
tific commission recently sent to
this district.
In the rough state these human
eyes are bronze yellow and quite
opaque, but by a careful polishing
a translucid lens is obtaiqed of an
orange color, like an opal, and
forming a very odd stone.
Certain naturalists, however, after
examining the eyes of the famous
necklace, maintain that they are
not human eyes, but the eyes o1
cuttle-fsh. A number Of Peruvian
archeologists think likewise. They
say that among Peruvian Indians
embalmers used to substitute fishes
eyes for the natural eyes OF the
bodies to be embalmed.
This is made more probable BY
the fact that the crystalline lenses
of the eyes composing the necklac.
in question are not less than Il
millimeters in diameter-enormou'
for human eyes.-Leeds Journal.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Better Than . Patent.

One man makes all the ink with
which the United States Govern
ment prints its paper money. His
father invented the ink but he never
told anybody how he did it until
just before he died, when he let his
son into the secret. Had an un-
timely accident gathered the inven-
tor to his fathers before he told his
son about the ink the Government
printer would have been in bad
way, for this is the only kind of ink
that will print on the peculiar sur
face Of the fiber of which Govern
ment note paper is made. The
maker employs only six men in the
manufacture of his ink and none o1
them are in the secret, nor has any
one yet seen the interesting act o'
mixing the ingredients of which the
ink is composed.
The owner of the secret locks
himself up in his own room two
weeks in each year, and it is there
and then that he mixes stuff enough
to supply the Government with inl
for the ensuing twelve months
The process of locking himself W
surrounds him with an air Of 70
nance something like that of tn
man whom Balzac made to search
for the alkahest, the only differenc'
lbeing that the alkahest fellow shu
himself up for lifetime and 60
nothing, besides alternating the affec
tions of his wife, while the othe
locks himself up for two weeks an
gets $4,000 a year.-New Yor
journal.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04

The KEYSTONE is the sole representative
of the Great Upper Wood River. Sawtoosh
and Smoky mining regions. and, located
as it is in the very heart of the most prom
ising mining country on the face OF the
earth, and leaving nothing undone to pre-
sent its readers complete synopsis OF all
mining news and developments, as well as
matters of local Importance in and about
Ketchum, it is an invaluable guide for cap
ital and informant to the settler OF every
craft aud position Subscribe for i, READ
it, and aet yeur frieads readdt.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Drops Of Blood That Turned to Pearls,

The celebrated "Tonquin Pearl
Myth" or Legend of the Golden
Bow" is both curious and interest
ing. Mythologists will tell you
that in all countries where precious
stones are found remarkable le-
gends and curious myths are related
by the natives to account for the
origin of the gems, such is the
"Tonquin Pearl Myth which is as
follows: There was once q Ton
quinese King SO we'll skilled in
magic as to be able to make bow
of pure liquid gold, which he after
wards hardened and tempered to
suit his taste. The arrows fired
from this wonderful golden bow
always struck the mark and were
also certain death, even though the
wound be ever so slight; this being
the case it is clear that the bow was
a pledge of perpetual victory. The
kingly owner of this strange weapon
therefore had no difficulty in de-
feating the Kings which surrounded
him, taking their lands and making
the people tributaries.
In the course of time his daugh-
ter married the son of one OF the
defeated Kings, and, on the very
day of the marriage, this crafty SON.
in-law prevailed upon his wife to
procure for him the magic bow and
to substitute therefor a golden bow
made in exact imitation, but, OF
course, lacking the magic powers.
She did so, being in ignorance of
the virtues of the talisman her faith
er had so long carried on his victo-
rious raids, and the result was that
her parent was compelled to sur.
render to his unworthy son-in-law.
Then the demons informed the de-
posed King of the source of his
late misfortunes and he forthwith
seized his daughter and prepared te
cut off her head with his scimitar
While preparations were being
made the unhappy daughter pro
tested her innocence, even on bend
ed knee, but her tears availed moth
ing. Finally, as last resort, she
declared to her father that every
drop of her innocent blood that wa'
shed would turn to pearls. Instant
ly the enraged sire flashed his blade
and the blood of his daughter fell in
showers of beautiful pearls. Sinc'
that day the sandy plain upo'
which she was murdered has beel
the richest pearl field in all Ton
quin.-St. Louis Republic.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Ltfts an Elephant With His Teeth.

Milo, the famous athlete Of an
cient Greece, the man who vas the
yitor at both the Olympic and Pyth-
ian games for six different times in
succession, and whose chief claim
to fame rests upon the feat of rum
ming four miles with q 3-year-oid
OK upon his shoulders, would hide
his head with shame could he visit
London and witness the wonderful
feats performed by Sullivan, tho
modern Samson. Sullivan is only
81 years of age and weighs bat 16S
pounds, yet he is physical giant
without an equal in the known
world. He regularly goes through
a routine of feats illustrative Of bis
wonderful strength, the most re-
markable being the actual lifting
of an elephant with his teeth. The
elephant is not q Jumbo, to be sure,
neither is he small, especially when
you come to consider the size of
the man who does the lifting and
the usual dimension and strength
of human teeth. The elephant daily
and nightly swung like pendulum
from Mr.. Sullivan's teeth is known
as "the infant, "and weighs between
800 and 1900 pounds. This re-
markable strong man is probably
the on|v one in the world who lifts
more than 1000 pounds with the
teeth alone. Another favorite trick
| of his is that of lifting a barrel OF
water (566 pounds9 witk one finger
st. Louis Republic.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04

our pOput8tlOu S06tulAS uaoo ~
corruption and anarchy, and can be
hired for q mere stipend by the
money power Of the nation to burn
and destroy. It is not menance
to the liberties of this government
to have the common, honest, plain
people banded together, and they
will never lift their hands to tear
down the flag or raise the red rag
of anarchy in the nation we love.
/ know not whether such q conflict
will ever come, but I do know un-
less we win the battle against the
oppressive money power, that has
fastened its fangs upon the people
of this land, this grand republic
will be destroyed. The history of
all nations demonstrates this fact,
and I assure you this plan Of organ
ization will not injure the party In
the least, but has met with great
favor all over the country. The
National Indurtral Legion does not
take the place Of national, state,
county or precinct committees:
They remain in full force and
power. It is intended as helpful
auxiliary and is to be organized 80
firmly and the interest kept up so
strongly that it will last through
the campaign of '96.
If you would appoint county or
ganizers, the work could be done
very cheaply. The charter fee sent
to national headquarters is only
three dollars, and that is only un-
| til a state organization is made pos.
sible by the organization of five
counties. It is the same price
charged for Farmers Alliance
and Industrial Union charter, and
the plan of organization is just the
same, and the coming in only fifty
cents. It is as cheap as any organ
|ization can be devised, and iftaker
hold of properly will do away with
the necessity ola few men in eacf
community reaching down in theil
pockets and paying all expenses o
the campaign. Your plan woule
do very well but it has been triee
over and over, and proven failur'
in the line Of systematic work. Th'
Industrial Legion was organized By
the members of the national execu
tive committee. They have recon-
mended in the most earnest term
that each state and county commit
tee should take hold of this worl
at once. Every state committe
but yours has taken hold Of it cor
daily, and you are the only mem
Der of any state committee in tn
United States that has, even in mile
terms, protested against this organ
ization; and in accordance wit
the instructions of our Executiv
Council, / shall at once take step
to organize Oregon.
The Ketchum keystone. [volume] (Ketchum, Idaho) 1885-1899, 1893-03-04
Bland and Silver.

Should silver go above its pres
ent level it would mean that gold
had fallen. The truth is that silver
bullion will buy as much of COM
modities to-day as ever; that 1t has
not in fact fallen, for as silver goes
down as compared to gold, so do
all other things. The rise in silver
would, and does mean the rise OF
commodities, or, what is the same
thing, the fall of gold. This is the
true situation. 1t is not cheap sill
YER they fear, but it is cheap gold
they are battling against. They ap-
preciate the fact that full restora-
ton of silver to it's old relation to
gold means the fall of gold; that
the equalization of the two metals
will be reached by a fall in gold,
and that the fall in value of gold
will be greater probably than the
rise in silver. Gold will fall and
silver will rise in value, and meeting
each other midway the parity is
restored. The holders of stock,
bonds and mortgages and fixed IN.
comes are determined there shall
be no fall in gold. They must have
the best money in the world-but
another name for the dearest and
scarcest money in the world. On
this line the battle RACES, yet the
gold advocates are artful enough to
deceive many with the cry Of cheap
silver. They see gold going uF
from year to year; they see then
pound sterling or their dollar in
creased in value. These increasing
exactions on production to pay
their demand, measured by gold
increases from year to year. They
shall not escape the logic OF the
situation by the deceptive slogan
of cheap silver.-Hon. r. ?. Bland
! in North American Review.