Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-05-19
ALL FOR SCIENCE.

was an eninuSlaStlC amateur uOctOr,
used to teach n class Of female friends
the rudiments Of physiology. At that
time Magruder was in business, and as
he generally came home tired he had a
habit Of lying on tho mp stairs sitting
room sofa in the evening for the pur.
pose of taking a nap.
Several times when he did so and Mrs.
Magruder had some friends with hei
down stairs he noticed upon awaking
that there was a peculiar heaviness in
his head and a queer smell Of drugs in
the room. When he questioned Mrs.
Magruder about it she invariably col.
Ored and looked confused and said he
must have eaten something which had
disagreed with him.
Ultimately the suspicious of Magrudel
were aroused. He suspected something
wrong. A horrible thought crossed hi!
mind that Mrs. Magruder intended to
poison him for his skeleton-to sacrifice
him so that she could dangle his bones
on q string before her class, and explain
to the seekers after medical truth the
peculiarities Of construction which en-
hbled the framework of her husband to
move in society.
SO Magruder revealed his suspicious
to his brother, and engaged to secrete
himself in a cupboard in the room while
he took his usual nap ON q certain even
ing upon the sofa.
When that night arrived Mrs. Ma,
gruder pretended to have a "sewing cir.
Gle" in the parlor, while her husband
went to sleep up stairs in the sitting
room with that vigilant relative Of his
on guard.
About o o'clock Mr.. Magruder's broth,
er was surprised to observe Mrs. Ma
gruder softly stealing upstairs, with tho
members of the "sewing circle follow
ing her noiselessly in single file. In hei
hand Mrs. Magruder carried a volume.
If her brother-in-law had conceived the
idea that the book might contain the
tender strains of some sweet singer
amid whose glowing imagery this WON.
an reveled with the ecstasy of n sem
sitive nature, he would have been mis-,
taken, for the work was entitled
"Thompson on the Nervous Systena,i
while those lines traced in a delicate fe.
male hand upon the pertumed note
paper carried by Mrs. Magruder, so far
from embodying an expression of the
gentlest and most sacred emotions of hei
bosom, were merely a diagnosis of an
aggravated case of fatty degeneration OF
the heart.
When the whole party had entered
the room Mrs. Magruder closed the dooi
and applied c~hloroform to her husbands
nose. AS soon as he became completely
insensible the sewing in the hands Of the
ladies wa quickly laid aside, and to Ma.
graders secreted brother was disclosed
the alarming fact that this was her class.
Mrs. Magruder began her lecture with
some very able remarks upon the
nervous system, and in order to demon
strate her meaning more plainly she at.
tached n galvanic battery to her hus
bands toes 80 that she might make him
wriggle before the class. And he did
wriggle, Mrs. Magruder gave him >
dozen or two shocks and poked him with
a ruler TO make him jump, while the
others stood in a semicircle with note
books in their hands and exclaimed,
''How very interestingy"
Ga6A hhNA = bAbNAIA AAbA III IL awful
but he was afraid to come out when Inc
reflected that they might want two
skeletons. Mrs. Magruder then said
that she would pursue this branch OF
the investigation no further at that mo
ment, because Mr.. Magruder's system
was somewhat debilitated in conse
quence of an overdose Of chlorate OF
potash, which she had administered
in his coffee upon the previous day fol
the purpose OF testing the strength Of
the drug.
Mrs. Magruder then proceeded tC
'quiz' the class concerning the general
construction Of her husband. She said
for instance, that she had won what we.
called the heart Of Mr.. Magruder, AMI
she asked the students what it was thaI
she had really won.
"Why, the cardia, of course, said the
class. 1T is an azygous muscle OF
an irregular pyramid shape, situated
obliquely and a little TO the left side Of
the chest, and it rests on the dia
phragm."
One fair young thing said that it die
not rest on tho diaphragm. Another on,
bdlu sue WOulu ueL "a quart OF pdleBOIl
it did, and until the dispute was settled
by the professor Magruder's brotheri
hair stood on end with fear lest they
should go to probing inside Of Magrude,
with a butchers knife and a lantern 70.
the purpose Of dete mining the actua
condition Of affairs respecting his dia
phragm.
Mrs. Magruder continued. She ex
planned that when she accepted Mr.
Magruder he seized her hand, aud SIN
required the class 10 explain what il
was that Mr.. Magruder actually hei
hold Of.
The students replied that he held il
his grip twenty-seven distinct bones
among which might be mentioned tn,
~phalanges, the carpus and the meta
earpus. The beautiful creature who wal
i%ncredulous concerning the diaphragm
suggested that he also had hold of tn,
deltoid. But the others scornfully sug
gested that the deltoid was a muscle
The discussion became so exciting tina
lancets were drawn, and there seemed
10 be a prospect Of bloolshed when the
teacher interfered and demanded Of IN,