Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-11-24
ANEM0TI0NAL AUT0MAT0N
Written by 1ngersoll Lockwood, Author of
Baron Trump" "Giant Boab," Etc.

hood with every promise Of making an
uncommonly handsome woman, but
strange to say these bright signs failed
utterly and when I returned home in
the summer OF 1887 my little sweet
heart" appeared to have been sudden
Nv transformed into q most uninterest-
ing and unpoetic looking girl.
She's Is good as gold" exclaimed
my maiden aunt almost reverently.
Il know she is, was my reply with
q perceptible tinge of malice in it, sbut
I'm sorry she has turned out to be 80
dreadfully plain-lcoking.
For shame!" cried my aunt, would
you select your wife as fop does his
waistcoat, for show?"
need hardly add that didn't de-
serve this sharp reproof, for l knew
quite as well as my aunt what sterling
qualities Vera had, how thoroughly
good and sweet-tempered she was; but
l had written 80 many verses to my
beautiful Vera," to my Fair Mate Of
Boyhood's Hours, to "Vera, the Dream
Child, whatever that was, that felt
chagrined to think that should never
dare read any Of them to her. But
that was not the only difficulty. If
should now address my verses to "Vera,
Angel of Light" or to "Vera, My Com
fort and My Souls Support" she would
see in a moment that felt the loss of
her childhood's beauty and her dear
heart would be troubled with the sus-
plcion that l no longer loved her. l
confided my perplexity to my aunt, who
solved it in most practical and effect
ual manner by informing me that upon
my return to college she would write
a 1offoW NH, nh Of l.
read to Vera, peremptorily forbidding
me to make any more verses. a habit
which, be it said. she held it lofty and
dignified contempt. Several years went
by. graduated and returning to New
York. entered the law school, but
neither contingent remainders" nor
"incorporeal Embellishments" occupied
my mind so closely that l didn't find
time to chafe little under that re-
striction in my fathers will.
1t is strange what obstinate creatures
men are. AS my old aunt used to say
There's only one way to get pig to
market and q man to your way of
thinking; make him believe he's
going in the opposite direction. But
it's my belief that Jack Olney had a
great deal to do with making me dis
satisfied with Vera.
"A woman has no right to be plain
looking, Jack would say in his dogmatic
way; mature started the sex in the
right direction by creating great
grandmother Eve perfect in loneliness,
and it was Natures intent that woman
should continue in that way just as
every fawn has grace and every heifer
beautiful eyes. If woman has fallen
from her high estate. it's her own
fault, and let her pack off to nunnery
and not attempt to palm off bogus
brands of beauty on unsuspecting men.
It's an outrage"
Much as 1 despised Jack Olney and
his cynicism and selfishness. the man
exercised peculiar fascination over
me. l couldn't shake him off or close
my ears to the audaciOus insincerity of
his sentiments. While 1 could feel the
utter hollowness Of his friendship, l
didn't seem to have the will-power to
is easy enough. Poor justification is
better than none when man contem-
plates the commission Of mean act.
Jack knew of my increasing repug-
nance to marrying such plain-looking
girl as Vera, and Mephisto-like he
prodded me deeper and deeper into the.
slough of selfshness every chance he
got. was wretchedly low spirited;
so much so that both aunt Sarah Ann
and Vera noticed it and did their best
to cheer me up, and at times Vera was
so sweet and lovable that I was upon
the very point of throwing myself on
my knees and making a clean breast of
the whole business, and then end by
clasping her in my arms and ratifying
my fathers contract by pressing kiss
on her lips; but somehow | couldn't
screw my manliness to a sticking point,
and when almost there Jack Olney's
words would suddenly ring in my ears,