Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1893-04-21
MRS. AND MR.. TODDLEs.


mas gifts from his majestic major-general
of wife), he was placidly putting friend
ly cigar before the CHEEKY CRATE fire in his
easiest chair The soft blaze lighted his
meek and benevolent face and made it look
rounder and roster than usual, while
dainty wreaths of fragrant smoke lazily
foated on the air in halos above his bald
but extremely wise little head.
The aristocratic cat lay at his feet on
the parlor rug purring most contentedly.
Mrs. Toddles in the big rocking chair,
which she comfortable filled with nothing
to spare, was deeply interested in a fashion
paper which her ever-thoughtful and affec-
Tomato husband had brought home that
evening.
The bouncing twins were asleep in their
double cradle up stairs, and dreamy and
delightful silence, broken only by the rust
ling of the aforesaid paper, reigned over
the serene and happy household.
So intensely absorbed was Mrs. Toddles
in the fashion plates that she entirely for
got to recount her daily assortment of
domestic troubles which seem so terrible TO
the female mind and so trivial to the manly
one.
Consequently Mr.. Toddles was having a
longer period of undisturbed quiet and rest
than usual, and thinking if it wouldn't be
good plan to always bring home fashion
book or paper.
Suddenly Mrs. Toddles broke the charm
by rather excitely saying, 80 Timothy
Crinolne is to be revived and | am going
to wear hoops with my next dress. Won't
look stylish?'
Mr. Toddles for moment made no
reply. Neither did he show surprise. But
he knew he had task on hand to prevent
his large and sometimes very headstrong
wife from making herself ridiculous in the
coming hoops.
80, ah, yes, of course!" he said present
ly. 1.-The papers are full of the subject.
But I don't believe they'll be worn by
the real fashionable set, though
so, yes they will, Timothy. They're
commencing already with hair cloth The
Princess of Austria wears that now. Here's
her picture"
Mr.. Toddles took the paper from his
wife's eager hands and gazed attentively at
it through his sympathetic glasses.
Eyes, poor thing he sOrrowfully re-
marked, "She's got to. If you had her
figure | wouldn't blame you either"
"Why, what's the matter with it? I'm
sure it's slender and graceful" said Mrs.
T. with a sharp glance at the apparently
sincere critic.
"Thats just the matter, my dear. The
Princess is too slender and she needs some
thing to hide her painful slimness. But
you, Mrs. Toddles, are not built that way.
Nature has generously given you perfect
and imposing form-you want no bustles,
nor padding, nor hoops, nor shoulder-puffs,
nor high hats to make you distinguished
1onIyino ar hanAcnp,n nxnyifI, ont
those artful aids for covering deformities,
'Twould be a crime to disguise your Venus
shape and Amazonian proportions with
such frippery. Gaze on yourself in the
mirror, my dear, and tell me If l am
wrong"
Mrs. Toddles looked pleased in spite of
herself. Eyes, but, Timothy, don't you
know that if hoops are the style I'll have
to wear them. You wouldn't like to go
out with me if my dress was old-fashioned,
would you?'
In Mr. Toddles' mind came a picture of
how his diminutive self would appear
beside the extra-sized hoops which his
large and weighty better half would prone
made in. AS it was it required all his
dignity and manly bearing to avoid making
the contrast too noticeable.
"Old fashioned?" he laughed, "Why, if
anything's older-fashioned than hoops |
don't know it. But there's something more
serious to consider. We are living now in
the electric age of trolley cars. Suppose
one Of them filled with women all girdled
by steel wire hoops was to explode. What
would be the result? Every one of those
steel hoops skirts would become bands OF
living fire. Every dress would be ignited
and dissolve into smoke. Now how long
could you and the other fair creatures sit
In public street before a crowd of inquisi-
tive men with red-hot gridirons on your
laps and without a stitch of clothes left to
protect you when the firemen played on
the water2''
Mrs. Toddle turned pale with horror.
81 never thought of that" she gasped,
sand we might attract the lightning, too,
mightn't we?''
"You certainly would, my dear. You
attractiveness is overpowering-to me, al
least. Suppose a bolt struck you when
you were holding the twins. Maybe you'll
put them in hoops, too?"
Mrs. Toddles shot glance at her hus.
band to see If he meant the last remark
but he kept straight face and went on.
There's another point, my dear, in re
gard TO you wearing crinollne, and that is
fle rldicule you would be subject to on
ne street. The men would turn around tc
gaze "a your fine but utterly spoiled figure
and say with laugh, there goes Barnum' s
c|ftHs ient' The small boys would shout
hoopIa5 and sound Indian war-whoops and
pretend 70 have the whooping cough every
time hef saw you. Then beneath such an
trpaun 81 canopy as you must carry little
dogs would Be lost. Think Of a gentleman
asking you 70 lift your skirt and release
bis ~ poodle The pup might be mad
Also, sod being unable to escape, you
would surely BE- bitten by his poisonous
Ia1 Mrs Toddles almost imagined
fh. had hIdIophobla already. "Goodnes:
sIN|oDI she easped, ~ never thought
hoop. could BE- v dangerous"
Dangerous & no name for them, my
dear continued The darling man, ''you
would be likely to trip every time you