The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-23
A CLOSE CALL on 30.

NLp'H tALL w cVs
Judge (to witness)-wha is your age,
%senoral
Witness-I am over 20.
"You must tell me the exact truth"
Between 20 and 30"
"But when will you be 30p
."-lLa Union de Valpa-
raiso.
SATISFACTORY EXPLANATION.
"Charles Softleigh is a regular milk.
and-water kind OF a person, isn't hel"
ayes; | suppose that's why he's al
ways talking about his blue blood
Chicago Inter Ocean.
AN EXTRAORDINARY WOMAN.
Luelia-What on earth that rich
Joseph Dudley saw in Marion Moriss I'd
like to know! wonder why be fell in
love with herr
Justinia-He says she's the only wo-
man he ever met who finds out il her
hats on straight before she leaves the
room.-tNew York World.
SUR TO BE SEEN.
Merchant wish this dry goods ad-
vertisement put in some part Of the paper
where the women will be sure TO see it.
Editor - Why, great snakes, man!
When we van 10 print anything where
the women will be sure to see it, we put
it alongside of "A dry goods advertise
ment. New York Weekly.
A Biz
"Do you happen to have any money
about you, Snaggs?" said Manchester to
his friend.
"Sorry, Manchester" was the reply,
''but haven't a quarter of q dollar to
my name just now"
Then" reioined Manchester, as he
produced a fat roll Of bills, "then you
will be glad to get back this tenner /
borrowed from you a month ago."
Snaggs tainted. - Pittsburg Chronicle
A GREAT PIECE OF
The Heiress' Brother-Bah the count,
as he calls himself, is "A coward!
The Heiress-Oh, no, Jack! Why,
have seen him dance on the most dread
fully slippery floor Puck.
THAT WAS ALL.
"Why do you carry a gun?" said a
visitor at the penitentiary to one of the
guards.
ITO keep the prisoners from taking
liberties, ma'am,' was the reply
Puck.
A HEROINE.
"She's small, but they say she's
p~lucky."
"Plucky. That's no name for it.
Why, Eve known that woman to be
alone in a room With a mouse and never
scream"
CARRYING THE NAME.
Mr.. Peck Cthe groceD-What kind Of
tea did your tell you to get,
Tommy?
Tommy TaddeIs-Ob,ong.- LJudge.
A MIsCALCULATIoN.
She-You to not fear him as a rival.
He-No; | loaned him 800 just to
shame him out of coming here.
She-Wcll, if he's a smart as that
and you're as big a fool as that, | think
I'll marry him Truth.
ONE WAY OF PROPOSING
Mr.. Fainte-Miss Resale, l under.
stand that you have been attending the
lectures on "How to Treat Ordinary III
nesscs"?
She-Ies.
He drawing nearer)-Can-can you
tell me what you would do for a broken
heartl-lNogue.
ETHICS vs.. HsTHETICs.
She with conviction)-I don't believe
in cutting up poor little birds and put
ing them on hats.
Ue-Oh, how good you arei
She-It's so much prettier to use the
whole bird. II Chicago Record.
THE PATRIOTIC PHOTOGRAPHER.
DIR. Dosem posing for q full-length
Portrait See here, sir! Do you meal
to insult me by giving me a background
plastercd over with advertisements of
my pills?
Photographer Calmly - That land
scape is a photograph from nature, sir.
A DESIRABLE NEIGHBoR.
Mrs. Binks-That woman we just
passed is the incest ~neighbor | ever had.
Friend-Neighborl Why, she didn't
so much as glance at you.
Mrs. Binks-That's what | like about
her. New York Weekly.
EXTREME sINGULARIrY.
Editor-What do you mean by saying
that Closefist's life was one OF singular
generosity
Spaceryt-He is good to himself
Truth. o
EXPLANATION.
Friend of the Family-Wcll, how's
little Willie? We don't see as much Of
you as we used to.
Willie (shyly)-No. Im-lm IN long
trousers now Truth.
Novel Way TO Clear "a Common.
In lsOS when jamestown, y. Y, was