Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1893-03-18
PITH AND POINT.

but it is her hat that dominates her.
Puck.
A thorn in the hand attracts more at
teution than two in the bush. -Somer-
vile Journal.
Thieves dread the light, and so does
the man who falls out of balloon
Binghamton Leader.
Talk in cheap. If you don't believe
it see how much you can get for the
price of shave.-Elmira Gazette.
Is all this talk about "woman's en-.
larged sphere" to end in the revival of
the hoopskirti-Louisville Courier
Journal.
A Fearful Fate: Van Demitt- ESQ
he's cynic, eha Been disappointed in
love, has be9" Van Arndt-"No, in
his cook. Vogue.
Grocer-"Your son seems to be full of
grit" Customer-"Yes; you know he's
eaten your sugar for several years. -
New York Journal.
It will be some time before Hawaii as
q part of the United States can be gen
orally regarded as pronounced success.
Washington Star.
When the young maa becomes en-
gagged to young lady he establishes a
protectorate. The wedding Is annexl-
tion.-Baltimore American.
A violinist to be successful must keep
UP with the times. That is, he sloLl
always have something new Ga the
string.-Rochester Democrat.
Jagson says it is the man who lives in
apartments who believes that the saying
"there is no place like home" has Hat
contradlction.-Elm Giz tie.
There is not much difference between
a young mans first love ALTAR aul tie
way he feels when he first sits IL a
BARRIERS chair.-Atchison Globe.
"What makes you wait for the change
before you select your gloves" BE
cause there may be some new style be-
fore it gets back. Inter Ocean.
"This is a nice time to come home"
she said. "Ian glad to hear you say
so, dear" he answered: 81 thou mt yol
might think was rather late. New
York Press.
The result of jumping at conclusions
is markedly shown in those women rea /
ers who first turn to the back of the
novel to see how the story turns out
Philadelphia Times.
"You may think you are better than
1 am" said the larger portion of the
Steak to the Tenderloin; "out l don't
know any one that gets cut out oftener
than you do."-Puck.
Mr.. Brown (whose family are in des-
titute circumstances)-"Listen. There
are burglars in the house." Mrs. Brown
(coolly)-'T hope they have brought
something. Kate Fields Washington.
Maude-"Me marry that old fright.
Why, he's got one foot In the grave"
Emily-"Tneu, dear, that's all he ever
will get in, unless that particular grave
is considerably larger than usual. Dos.
ton Herald.
Captain Nimrod Ito city friend on
hired mount, who is in ditficultiesl-
swell, old fellah, how are you coming
on2' Friend (between gasps)-"Dun-
no. raid--Im- coming off. -
Funny Folks.
Jess-"How in the world does Miss
Fitz make herself out to be tweuty-twol"
Bess TWENTY-FIVE years ago the family
Bible was lost in fire, and to fix the
date beyond question she had to begin
all over again."
Shsdbolt Qu the crowded carr
Stab, this is the first time ever saw you
rise and give your seat to woman"
McStsb (of the suburbs, in woestrucl
Whisper -"Shl That's our hired girl"
Chicago Tribune.
"Just put this on the slate" said Mr..
NJ. p. Kuhn, after ordering a loa
of c)al. ave don't keep any slate, "
the dealer informed him. "Don't keep
any slstei What do you do with it,
sell itf"-Indianapolis Journal.
A Vocation: Tho Vicar-"Oh! that's
your boy, Smithersf And what's he
going to be9 A shoemaker, like your.
scliE Smlthers--'Oh, no! sir. hes
uncommon fond of animals. you see so
we're thinking of making him butcherw
Punch.
MY DEAR" said he to his lady love,
"I've been busy all day; not manual
labor, you know, but brain work, which
is tae hardest kind" "Yes, indeed;
know it must be for you," aud there
was look of tender sympathy in her
eyes VIII ca aroused him. New York
News.
"say, Tom, this proposing is a fearful
business, isn't it, A fellow never knows
how to go at it 10 the most graceful way.
Come, now, what did you say to Mrs.
Greenwalter when you asked her to be
your Wife" Reminiscent Husband
"Great Scott! what didn't Issy to herr"
Toronto Emnire