davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
BRIGHT BITS.

What have you really learned in college,
Harry that is useful to yout'
Il learned that 1 don't know how to play
poker. brooklyn Life
Tommy-Paw, wqat is an equinoxP
Mr.. F1gg-EqutnoX, my son, is derived
from two Words-eQuine and OK. II is one Of
the names Of the horned horse Indianapolis
Journal.
An Emotional Role-She-Wh were YOU
so awkward and embarrassed when you pro
posed to mel
He-Oh, I was trying not to look so cock
sure OF being accepted as Ifelt.-Life.
Wills Of miIlionaire's remind us
IL in our graves we be content,
we should. dying, leave behind US
Not so much as one blamed cent
Buffalo Courier
Mechanically friend suspect you've
been putting kerosene oil IN this watch
George Bond-That have. When a watch
goes in soak so often something must be done
to counteract rust.-kate Fields Washing
ton
What is the difference between wages
and 'salary'?'
Wen, generally. one means a great deal Of
Ork and some pay, ana the other is a good
dsal OF pay and some work. - Chicago Rec
ord
A Useful Invention.-Gus De Smith-How
is your friend Jackson coming on?
HOStetter McGinnis-He rich He in
vented handy derrick that will hold a Sun
day newspaper While it is being read.-Texas
Sutlngs,
She-It can hardly be questioned that ev-
cry woman is more or less of mind 7, a Ter
He-Do you think you could read miner
She-Id rather not. Mamma is little par
tcular as to the character OF my reading
Boston Globe
Guest-Here. waiter, there's a fly in my
tea.
Waiter-It isn't strong enough to hurt him.
We always look out for that. Thaiproprietor
is member of the Cruelty to Animal Society
Boston Transcript
At a Hall-The Countess x Ito can
tain of ssars)-Undoubtedly soldiers make
the best husbands.
How is that, sonora?
Because they are accustomed to subordi-
nation.-El Noticiero.
mo, Mr.. Bronson, 1 cannot consent to YOUR
marrying my daughter"
But what is your objection to me- Mr.
Tinslow2n
i haven't any; but my daughter has. and
she requested me to tell you So "-Harper's
Bazaar.
Dashaway- a nice suit, old man.
How much did you pay foc 1t?
Travers-Fifteen dollars.
DashaWay-Flfteen dollars? Why, you
must have changed tailors.
Travets (sadly)-I have. That was the de-
poslt.-Clothier and turnisher.
They grabbed missionary
And they bOnnd him to post;
They kindled the fire under him
And let him slowly roast
But ne only smiled back at them,
And let his memory roam
To visions OF the lynching bees
He used to see at home.
Indianapolis Journal.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
The Guest Held a MORTGAGE.

The returned traveller was telling about the
glories Of the worlds fair, says the Buffalo
Express L went out there and did it," he
said: stayed two weeks and lived on the fat
of the land and didn't pay a cent for board or
lodging. save the little money that used for
luncheons."
HUH said the man that was listening.
you've got relatives out there. That's dead
easy"
4 haven't got a relative this side Of Bos-
ton"
Friends, them"
Didn't know a person in town when I
struck it."
Met somebody who asked you to live with
him.
Nope; put up at the biggest hotels and,
as said, 1t didn't cost me a cent"
How you do it?'
Easiest thing in the world. After I came
back from the fair each night, picked out
Wha: looked to be good hotel and then
went TO theater or somewhere else to enjoy
myself during the evening. got back to the
motel after the night clerk had gone on duty.
Waited, you know, until the head clerks and
the proprietor or manager had gone to bed
Ihen walked in, registered with big -four
lsh and said: 1 want the best room you've got
IN the house. I'm the man from the east who
has mortgage on this hotel OF course, the
clerk knew there was a mortgage and he
didn't know who had it, so 1 always got the
best the house afforded and got away next
morning before the proprietor got down
Every hotel is in the same fix, and the scheme
is good for month"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
PERSONAL.

blondtn is stiu performing on the tight
rope 100 London The other uight he acct
deHiallY dropped d chair upon the head OF a
spectator, but fortunately caused no serious
injury. such an accident however is signih-
cant 'h 'hc case of man as old as he is.
Mr. Joseph Chamberlain. NJ. p. began his
collection Of orchids sixteen years ago He
now has about ,OOO plants Of an kinds from
an parts OF the world They fu thirteen OF
the eighteen glass-houscs RANGED along the
size or ms house on the outskirts OF Birming-
ham.
Alexander Herbert Bailey. the lost English
man for whom search has been in progress for
several years past by the solicitor OF an estate
IN ENGLAND OF which Bailey is the heir. has
beeu discovered al last. He has recently
been peddling books for a Chicago publishing
house and posing as "a Spiritualistic medium
lot recreation through Washington county,
Penn,
When Senator Perkins was a youngster in
California, friendless and with only 81 in his
pocket, a Mr.. Knight, merchant gave him a
situation as porter where he could earn reg
uar wages, $40 a month. He never forgot
the kindness. When he had made place for
nlulSelI IN the business world he sent for his
Ola employer who had in the meantime met
with misfortune, and gave him a bookkeeper's
place IN his Office worth Sl75 a month.
Fraulein Thesis is an able and highly cul-
tivated woman who teaches the French and
German languages to d large number of
young ideas" in Hartford. Conn. She is
quite eccentric and has followed in the Toot-
steps Of Bernhard in that She sleeps in a
comm destined 10 be her final resting place.
50 anxious was she to have a coffin that
would be thoroughly satisfactory that she
went TO Boston and purchased one of the
very latest and most improved fashion. 1t
was sent to Hartford and for some time she
TOOK great pride and pleasure in her lugu.
Drlous acquisition. One day her attention
was called to the fact that Hartford was very
well equipped in such grave matters. After
a visit to several Undertaking esta blishments
IN Connacticut,s capital the good fraulein
exclaimed; We'll, how mpetuOus 1 was, l
could have obtained o coffin in Hartford just
as cheap and fully as comfortable as the one
got in Boston. -
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
Humors OF Bann Publishing.

A few years ago q ludicrous albeit vexa-
tious incident occurred az church in Lark
hall SAYS London Til Bits rustic couple
after having had the banns published the pre-
scribed number OF times, proceeded 10 the
church 10 be joined IN holy wedlock. The ser
vice was conducted without hitch until he Of
hciating clergyman arrived at that part where
he asked, William Wisher, wilt thou have
this woman 10 be thy welded wife, when
the bridegroom replied. with some astOuish-
ment. that his name was not William Wisher.
The ceremony was. Of course, appended, and.
on investigation being made as to the cause
OF the mistake. II transpired that the bride
groom had written to the sexton OF the church
requesting him to have the banns published.
and concluded his letter thus: so no more
from your Wen Wlsher and Mary WilllamsY'
The sexton. suppOsing that William Wisher
was the name Of the intending Benedict. pub
llshed the banns accordingly and the disap-
pointed couple were compelled to await the
publication OF the banns in their proper
names.
The precentOr Of country parish church
near Arbroath one Sunday announced from
nls place mat there was solemn purpose OF
marriage between Alexander Sphinx OF Fish
ers Loan and Elspeth Hackett of Burn
WYnd, when the parish beadle who was
something OF character suddenly rose and
unceremoniously interrupted the proceedings
by eXcIalmlng: That's wrang. that's wrang
1t no Sanders Sphinx O. Fishers Loan that
gaun to marry Elspeth Hackett, but lang
sanders Sphinx O. Smiddy Croft" The name
OF one of the parties had been wrongly stated
in the proclamation paper, and this was the
way the beadle took to correct it.
Some years ago a middle aged agricultural
laborer called upon the session clerk of Alloa
and asked him what the charge was for pub
fishing the cries ii. e., banns of marriage
three times in the same Sunday. "A pound"
replied the clerk. Aye" said the other,
an what we TAX when We TAX tws Sun
days to dOtY' Half guinea" was the re-
ply An what dye charge when We TAX
three Sundays tO't?'' was the rustic'S next
query. Seven and six, 80 answered the clerk
with an amused air. Aye man" rejoined
the cheaper it gets just cry ava till We pay
yerser!"
And he took his departure without more
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
Tho Situation at Brunswick,

The situation at Brunswick is very
serious. That every one admits Bust
ness is practically paralyzed, and, there
fore, there is no way in which the poor
can. earn the necessaries of life. There
will be a great deal of suffering there un-
less aid is provided either by the govern
ment or charitably disposed people 1t
will be provided. The people of no city
Of this country suffering from an cpl
demic have ever been permitted to suffer
for food
But the fever has not yet been declared
TO be epidemic, and it is sincerely to be
hoped that the necessity for declaring it
so will not arise. There were only two
new cases there yesterday, and only two
the day before The fever is spreading
very slowly. The season is pretty well
advanced, and that is one reason for
thinking that if there should be an cpl
demic 1t would not be a severe one.
Il has been mouth since the first case
developed and there have been only four
deaths and less than a dozen cases. There
is, therefore, still ground for hoping that
Brunswick viii escape a severe vista
tion from the fever.
Some of the northern papers are con-
demniug the local physicians for conceal
ing cases, and asserting that the marine
hospital surgeons would have stamped
out the disease if they had been kept ac-
quainted with the actual condition of
affairs.
The local physicians deny most en-
phatically that they have concealed cases
of the disease. They would hardly take
the responsibility of doing such a thing
They may have been mistaken as to the
character of the sickness from which
their patients suffered in two or three in
stances. Mistakes of that kind some
times occur when an epidemic is
threatened.
The fever has been acting queerly at
Brunswick II has baflled the fever ex-
perts stationed there. 1t is difficult to
explain the long time between the first
and second appearance of the disease. 1t
will be determined within a few DAYS
whether or not the second appearance
means serious pidemic.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17

The rcyolutiouists in Brazil are meet
ing with much more success than was
thought they would They have driven
President PciXoto FROM Rio Janeiro and
have effected a landing in that city a
battle between the landing party and the
portion of the army that remains loyal
was, at last advices, expected TO occur At
any moment.
[ IL looks very much as il the republic of
Brazil would be troubled by revolution
lists frequently unless the government
shows itself strong enough TO enforce its
authority President Peixoto reached
his present position by means Of a revolu-
ton that was "a comparatively iusignih-
cant affair Deodoso, who was president
at the time. dissolved congress and un-
dertook to play the role Of dictator. The
navy concluded that it would show
him that he was not so much Of a dictator
as he imagined himself to be, and it drove
him into retirement by threatening to
bonn bard Rio When Deodoso dropped
back into obscurity, PeiXotO, who was
vice president in Deodoso's administration,
came to the front with the approval of
the navy. He and the navy got along to-
gether for awhile, but the naval officers
wanted the government run to suit them
selves. Peixoto objected to being mere
creature of the navy, and so the navy re-
volted again. a threat of bombarding
Rio was not sufficient to drive him from
pOwer, and so the navy proceeded to carry
out its threat the bombardment was
not severe one, however and there is
reason for saying ii was not intended to
be. If PeiXoto has the right sort of courage
and sufficient support he will hold on to
his Office as long as he has the least hope
Of doing so successfully.
Ever since Dom Pedro was driven out
of the country and the republic was es-
tablished, there have been revolutions in
Brazil of more or less Importance. In
some of the states of the republic the
garrisons have undertaken to direct po-
litical affairs to suit themselves. Conse-
quently there have been quite number
of minor revolutions that have attracted
attention for day or two and then have
been forgotten.
What the outcome of the present at
tempt to dictate TO President Peixoto will
be cannot be predicted with any degree of
certainty. The naval officers say they
want the president either to resign
or order another election. II is
not thought probable that he will do
either of the things the naval officers
want done If he should yield it would
not be long before there would be an
other attempt at revolution. The way to
stop the petty revolutions is to deal Wig
Orously with the revolutionists. If the
government were sufficiently strong to
compel respect the revolutions would be
few and far between.
The empire was overthrown with such
ease that the impression appears to be
quite general that is a very small matter
to bring about changes in the administra-
ton by forcible means. Unless this i'm
preston is changed the republic will not
last long.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
How the "Applausen Gets In.

Occasionally something appears in the
Congressional Record that is really worth re-
producing not of course in it's entirety but an
extract, says the Washington Post. Repre-
sentative W. Jasper Talbert of South Caro-
lima, was prominent in the farmers ALI
ance and helped to formulate the "Ocala plat
form Aug. Is, and it was published in the
voluminOus Record on the 10Th. 1t is literally
fnterspersed with Enclosures in brackets with
applause great applause, ' great laughter,
and many other such expressions which
break the mOnotony of the average con
gressiOnal speech after it has been withheld
for revision Mr. Talbert had been scoring
the plutocrats, he had been lashing the priyi-
lodged classes, telling how the rich coudaget
anything they wanted but as to the poor who
were growing poorer send up a little petition
here. he said. and these great bieAstates-
men sit up and look as wise as owls and saw.
1T can't he done. 1t is unconstitutional. ." Then
the following in brackets as If reported by the
stenOgrapher of the House: This was said
in a very sarcastic and humorous manner
causing renewed laughter" 1t is not often
that the Congressional Record drops into the
descriptive
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
Understood the Game.

During little pedestrian trip a gentleman
came Unexpectedly upon country race
course, and on one portion of the ground
found thimblerig establishment in full
work. Notwithstanding the remonstrances
OF his companion, the gentleman, who was a
bit of madcap, insisted on watching the
game, says London It'd Bits.
Now, would the gent like to wager crown
he could find the pear remarked the ex-
pert.
Yes" was the reply.
The money was on both sides deposited
and the pedestrian, lifting up the thimble'
pointed out the required pea and took the
stakes.
"A second bet, double or quits" ended to
the surprise Of the expert In the same re-
suit
Then third wager, "a pound or nothing :"
steadied the nerves Of the loser, and the trick
was accomplished with great caution The
gentleman lifted up the thimble and showed
the pea at the same time pocketing the
stakes.
help me, etc. ''I didn't put it therel"
exclaimed the bewildered artist
NO, but l always carry my own pea" re-
joined the man who had come out right as he
went on his way with his spoils of war
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
Esther.

One of the most thrilling stories in the
Bible-and it contains more thrilling sto-
ries than any other book ever written
is that of the Vaccinations of the wicked
Haaman to compass the destruction Of the
Hebrew people. and his overthrow by
brainy, beautiful and good woman
Esther. In memory of her services to
them the Jewish people established the
feast of Purim. Purim brings to the Jew
ish mind 1.-The days wherein the Jews
rested from their enemies, and the month
which was turned unto them from sorrow
to JOY and from mourning unto a good
day, becaose Haaman, the enemy of the
Jews, had devised against the Jews to de-
stroy them, and had cast Pur, that is lot,
TO consume them"
The feast of Purim occurred early in
March. But the day before the begin
ming of the Jewish New Year there was
born to the wife of President Cleveland a
daughter And they called her name
Esther
The parents were probably not in
fiuenced in the selection of name for
the child by the fact of its birth near the
time of Jewish holiday. But the coinci-
dence of the holiday and the advent of
new Esther into the world must be pleas
ing to the Jewish people.
Mr.. and Mrs. Cleveland lay no claims
to being leaders of fashion" but it, is
sincerely to be hoped that their example
in giving their children good "old-fash-
ioned, sensible names-names that they
will not be ashamed of when they grow
up-will induce other parents to do like
wise.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
Failure of the Faribault Plan.

The Farihault plan for the co-education
of Protestant and Catholic children about
which so much has been written in the
last two years, has at last been pro
nounced failure.
1t was in Oct, 1891, that a plan was
submitted TO the board of education of
Faribault, Mimi, by Father Conroy for
merging the parochial schools with the
public school system. The reasons he
gave were that the Catholic children
should receive the benefit Of the training
provided for in the public schools, and
also that the public schools in Faribault
should receive the additional tax from the
state and county to which they would be
entitled by the increased number of pub
lie school children. Father Conroy's
proposition was accepted. The parochial
school houses were turned over to the
board Of education, and Protestant as
well rs Catholic teachers were employed
in them. There was provision, however,
for religious teaching.
Recently Papal Delegate Satolli visited
Archbishop ireland, who has all along
favored the Faribault plan, with the re-
suit that last Tuesday Father Conroy mott
fed the board of education of Faribault
that the Catholics of the town would no
longer consent to the employment ofProt-
estant teachers in the parochial school
houses. The board of education at once an
nulled the lease by which it held the
parochial school buildings and thus ended
the much discussed t'aribault plan As
neither the Prostestants nor the Catho-
lies We're satisfied with the plan, its fail
ure will not be regretted
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
GBr3flornng0tos
SUNDAY. SEPTEMBER II. 1898.

REGISTERED tTTHE ro~TnFFtcE NSAvANNAH
.~~---~---.--.-
The MORNING NEWS is published every
day in the year. and is served 90 subscribers
IN THE CITY 40 ~ 00amonth. g forsix months
and $40 % for one year.
The MORNING NEWS BY MAIL. one
month. 81 90. three months, 81 50; six months,
g. 90, one year $40 90.
The MORNING NEWS. BY MAIL. six
times a week without Sunday ISSUE, three
months s. ~, six months a co. one year
g. 90
The MORNING NEWS Tri Weekly Mon
days Wednesdays and Fridays. or Tues
days Thursdays and Saturdays three months,
q %; six months. 81 so. one year, % 90.
The SUNDAY NEWS, BY MAIL, one year,
i2OO
The WEEKLY NEWS, BY MAIL, one year,
U25
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit
by postal order check or registered letter
Currency sent by mail at risk Of scnders.
Letters and kilograms should Ae addressed
MORNING NEWS, Savannah. Ga.
Transient advertisementsOth other than special
column, local or reading notices. amusements
and cheap or want column 10 cents a line
Fourteen lines OF agate type-equal to one
inch space in depths the standard Of meas
urement Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business office.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park 70 = New
York City G.. 6. FAULKNER Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
Charaoteristio silverite Methoda.
From the Philadelphia Ledger HndN.

Some indication Of the unbridled language
or the silver organs. and of their reckless and
untruthful presentation of the news, is fur
nished by the following headlines which APP
peared IN the Rocky Mountain DENVER News
on the day following the passage Of the Will
son bill by the House of Representatives:
John Bulls Work-The Infamy Of 1873
Openly Repeated in 1S93-British Gold and
Federal Patronage Used to Bride the Ameri-
can Congress-HOw Long win American Vot-
ers Submit to It:-Blands Is to l Amend
ment Voted Down-All Ratios and Compro-
misses showed Under-Cleveland's Bill Car
ried Through by Large Majority-The Dem
Ocratic and Republican Parties Equally Re
sponsible for the Result Republicans Obey
the Crack OF Cleveland Whip-Bland and
the Silver Men Looking Grimly Towards the
Future-One Hundred and Fifteen Democrats
10 be Buried Next Year-1he Republican
Party, rs Usual, the Servant of the Money
Power This is the sort OF literature which
is fed to the people OF the silver states. Any
journal INSCRIPTIONS enough 20 say that
British gold is being used to bride the Amer
lean congress fOrfeits all claim 20 public at
tentlon. The accusation Is simply q sample
Of malignant lying.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
THIS ISSUE
CONTAINS
S TX TEEN PAGES
INDEX TO new ADVERTISEMENTS.

GEETNGs-The Hibernian Society Robert
G. Shaw Post No. 3, O. A. r.
SPECIAL NOrIcES-Light Bay Colt Strayed;
III jasy. Houstoln II. Thomas Real Estate
and Insurance To My Patrons ana the Pub
lie Langdon {. Strong; Again on. Desk, NJ.
Prayer, Proprietor savannah Steam Laun-
dry; Special Notice. savannah Steam Laun.
dry Bread and Biscuit Bakery For Sale or
Rent Rossi2nol K Mahn; The Interstate
Building and Loan Association Of
Columbus, Ca; Administrators Sale.
J. C. Mahcr. Tcmporar- Adj
ministrlto;r Notice TO Debtors AMI Cred
itors Samuel Cherry, j. c.. Mahn, temporary
Administrator; Suwauu e Springs Water,
Andrew Hau'ey: Fine Store for Rent ed
ward Loveu's Sons: ConmOiious Residence
for Rent George G.. Freeman; New Goods
Bernard Brady; special Notice to Wheelmen;
A Card w. $. Harrison; Meyer Beer VOL
tiers Brewing Company; Lots at Living Prices.
w. X. wilkinson Real Estate Dealer; Fine
Groceries at r. A. Bll kwells; Bicyclists
Attention. Ned Myers. Jr.
MILLINERY ErouskoG Millinery Com
pany.
CENTEMERI KID GLOVES, ETC.-At Gut
man s.
TYPEwRITERs- Remington Typewriter.
OUR FURNITURE LINE Emil A. Schwarz.
HATs-Appel & Schaul.
DULL:B II. Levy & Bro.
BEAUTY James Douglass.
MISSES REFERS, ETC.-At Eckstein's.
NEW FALL DRESS GOODs-Leopold Adler.
TAKE NorICE-Thos L. Wylly.
THE SOLE PURPosE-Byck Bros.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Savings Bank.
THE HOPKINS HAr-Wakefeld, sole agent.
Prices DON'T TELL-Falk Clothing Com
pany.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS Help
Wanted Employment Wanted; For Rent For
Sale; Lost, Personal; Miscellaneous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-17
They Must All Go.

From the Louisville Courer-Journal Dem0.
The federal election laws seem bent upon
keeping themselves mixed up with the silver
legislation, and there are those who fear that
the precipitation of the force bill issue in
congress at this time may interfere with the
repeal OF the sherman act. But both must
90 and VIII 20 in good time. The sherman
act, the Mckinley bill and ali that savors of
federal interference with the peoples rights
at the polls all belong to the same republican
inter which the people have made up their
mind to drown