The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1893-06-23

When You 20 in room ana smell the
hot. damp carpet, you know at once that
the radiator is not seaworthy. The
other night Mr.. Burbanks radiator be-
gan about midnight TO get restless and
palpitate. At first it just gave two or
three kicks at itself and moaned. Mr.
Burbank turned over in his bed and said:
"Ah, the radiator il repairing itself"
Then he went TO sleep.
Soon after he woke with n start and
heard the radiator rumble like u distant
freight train crossing three or four other
lines Of road. At the end she seemed to
hit one coil with another and began to
mix things.
He looked at his watch and saw that it
was half past IL. Tired nature then
yielded, and with o long drawn sigh at 80
days he went 20 sleep. Eo awokc again
to hear tho radiator riveting its boiler
ard generally reftting itself.
He lighted his last match and saw that
IL was half past o'clock. lie tried 20
go to sleep and begau counting 900 10
settle his L ives. IIo was joined by tho
radiator. 10 threw of the covers and
said: There Is water in that radiator.
That's what makes it practice all night
trying 70 play Tho Awakening of the
Lion Will let the water out. and then
can Sleep"
SO he got M f.ly and started for tho
electric lish; to turn on same. lie was
httlc dazel and stepping high. so he
stepped into his trunk. Then he knew
where he was and started across the
room, but was met by the center table,
which had late lunch on 1t. II con-
tanned. among other things. some bread
with jam on it and some cheese that had
come from Germany at time when the
quarantine regulations were looser than
they are now.
lie upset this table.
Now | know where everything is"
said Mr.. Burbank. This cheese is i'll
the center of the room. aud can always
find out where ! am even without a
light" Just then in trying TO turn on the
electric light he stepped in the jam and
cheese at the same moment. He also
found that the electric light had been
turned off at the cellar
No one can know just how he would
feel under these circumstances unless no
has been under those circumstances. Mr..
Burbank had now lost all idea of direc-
ton. for the cheese still chung TO the sole
of his foot and roamed around the room.
attracting attention from the radiator.
Mr.. Burbank is tail, slender man.
looking very much as Henry Irving
would if he had been trying to board at
the Gastritis House during the winter
and train himself down TO represent
Thought. Dressed in the simple robe of
night. with .his dark hair released from
its contineiscnt and tossed about over
his shoulders. with n cheese sandwich on
one foot and n corned beef and mustard
poultice on the other. now and then
stepping on revolving bottle of Halford
sauce. he made strong picture as he
saved himself from falling by catching
at the towel which hung on rack.
He went three times around the room.
feeling on the wall for the button of the
bell, but missing it, as no could not get
the right height. he opined. In the morn
ing he found that the button was con-
cealed by the headboard Of his bed and
did not work anyhow.
It now became easy to locate the radi-
ator by the sound it made, also by a little
puddle of hot water which he stepped out
of with such wild start that he skinned
his knee and hoped around over the
lunch in great agony. As he felt the jam
oozing up among his toes he became irri-
tated and said:
IF | had it to do over again, would
go to the other hotel"
There were two hotels. one called the
Phyloxeria and the other the Bergamot
House. We were at the Bergamot.
Mr., Burbank approached the radiator
and turned the valve open quickly. then
stepped back into the halford sauce as a
stream of hot water squirted across the
room into the coy bed which he had
inst left. The little valve nut was now
SO hot that he could not turn it back for
quite a long spell, but after awhile, by
the use of towel, he managed to turn
it off enough SO that only small stream
came from it, and he filled q china cuspi'
dor with water. also the wash basin and
his valise. This he did while trying to
empty the basin out Of the window. a
great deal of the water was spilled when
he stepped on the Halford sauce bottle
again.
He emptied the basin while the cuspi'
dor was filling and then emptied it while
the basin was filling.
Sometimes in going back and forth he
did not step ON the Halford bottle at ALL
He does not remember how many
times he did these round trips, but as the
gray dawn began to steal timidly across
the sullen sky there stood at the open
easement tall man with pale, intel
lectual face and in simple, futtering
and severely plain negligee with wet
sleeves. He was just pouring the last
pitcher of hot water out at the window,
and below lay the body of tho watchdog
drowned.
The watchdog lay with CLASSY eyes
chained to the house. and the watchdog's
honest bark was peeled off In places
where the hot water had struck him.
That pale and interesting man was the
author OF these lines.
At first thought ! would say it was
Mr.. Burbank, but now as think it over
aud remember his many kindly acts to-