The Portland daily press., 1893-02-09
WHAT THEY ARE GOOD FOR.

BRANDRETH's PILLS are the best medicine
known.
First-They are purely vegetable, in fact a
medicated food.
Second-The same dose always produces the
same effect-Other purgatives require increased
doses and finally cease acting.
1Hird-They purify the blood.
Fourth-They invigorate the digestion and
cleanse the stomach and bowels
Fstth-They stimulate the liver and carry off
yitiated bile and other depraved secretions.
The first two or three doses tell the story
The skin becomes Clear the eye bright, the mind
active, digestion is restored, costiveness cured
the animal yigor is recruited and all decay ar
rested.
BRANDRETH's PILLS are sold in every drug
and medicine store, either plain or sugar
coated.
Seedy individual approaching My dear sir.
you look like an American. am one of your
countrymen. For Gods sake help me to get
something to eat!
Tourist (recognizing)-Why Bugley. old boy,
is this you?
Seedy Individual-Yes, Cholly, old fellow.
Tourfst-Why, what could have brought you
to this?
Seedy Individual wipng away tear)-A
book called How to make trip to Europe on
$2oO;" butr-but it didn't say how to get back.
The Million.
AS a blood purifier Ayers Sarsaparilla sur
passes all other remedies
Wrought His own Ruin.
Hell am afraid our wedding will have to be
postponed for while dearest.
She-Great heavens! Why?
Hell have been figuring little, and find
that have given you so many expensive pres
cuts that would not be able to pay the taxes
on them. Indianapolis Journal.
What Shakespeare Might Have Said.
To take or not to take: that is the question.
Whether 1t is better for a man to suffer
The pangS and tormentS of ind geStion,
Or something take and in it's taking, end them.
Shakespeare didn't say that, but very likely
he would have said something similar, if he
were living in this 1 9th century, when so many
suffer unit Id agonies from indigestion. OF
course he would have gone m to say that man
must be fool not to take the something
which would put an end to the ''pangs and tor
ments'' spoken of, if he could get it. Now it is
a fact that weakened. impoverished blood
brings on indigestion, which is the cause OF dys.
pepsia, constipation-a poisoned condition OF
the whole system-and it's a fact, also, that
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery will so
purify the blood and enrich it that all the weak
ened organs are revttalized and strengthened.
1t is guaranteed to do this. If 1t doesn't, your
money will be returned to you.
1t was little girl at Maiden who, having
been naughty and having received punish
ment from her mother said this prayer fervent-
ly when she went to bed at night: 20 God,
please make me good,-n real good, but just
good enough so won't have to be whipped
Boston Record.
John! get Halrs Hair Remover and keep
your hair lustrous and free from dandruf.
DESPERATE.
Now the thaw, which in JAM,
Is a part of the plan.
Doth the annual nuisance foretOken,
OF the fellow whose aim
Is to daily proclaim
That the backbone of winter is broken.
And before he gets through,
We all wish, so we do,
With wish more emphatic than solemn,
That woat he doth state
To be old Winters fate.
Would ensue to his own spinal column:
Boston Courier.
Cconsumptives obtain relief by using Ayers
Cherry PICTORIAL No other cure is so effective.
Wouldn't Try.
s.Hello, Thomson said his friend. $50 you
are married, are you? How do you manage
your wife?"
ssVUal1 dir renliad Tbomnson will, en-