The Red Cloud chief., 1893-08-11
Written for THR CHIEF
People We Don't Need.
ny CONSISTENT KICkER.

w ''.NN'NiENl hlthfh.
While j%ourncying through life we meet
with many classes of people. who are pc.
culiar but the class that we can most
easily dispense with are the kickcrs.
They are the people who in Jul inmost
souls wished were banished to some dis
tant land, either to Siam or to Hayti or
some place where they can haye all the
disturbance they want, in fact they are
what we call chronic kickers. There are
a number Of different kinds OF kickers
but II chronic kicker is far the worst.
They are the people who Kick when
they get up in the morning, kick when
they eat their breakfast, kick when
they go to work and kick all day.
and then sit down IN the evening and
kick, and they will kick all their life and
then kick when they have to die, and in
fact kick and criticise always.
Some time ago in n of our large east
ern papers some fellow made n terrible
kick, about newspapers being filed with
patent medicine advertisements, aud such
ms st. Jacob OIL, Lydia +. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound etc. Just think Of
it; picking on those boons to the human
race. Why 1t makes me mad, very mad
indeed, criticising poor old Lydia! why
its a shame, n who has done so much
for her fellow beings.
Methinks l can SEE her now trudging
along through the woods over hill and
dale, stopping ever and anon to pull
some root, or gather leaves and herbs for
that wonderful compound, that great
medicine which has proven such a Bless,
ing to her SEX, ] tell you it is a shame,
although lhave often wondered il il really
is composed OF vegetables. can't hard.
ly believe it, still it must be so or lydia
wouldn't say 80.
Now as to st. Jacob, why no other oil
has aver been proven such a blessing to
mankind as the Great Apostle Oil, not
excepting the Standard Oil Co.'s pride,
Kerosene. Why, why. Jacobs oil will
cure all the ills that flesh is heir TO. So
they say. / once knew of q man who
gave some to his dog for the distemper
and the poor dog died; but that isn't
saying, that the apostle oil killed him.
Something. else might have done the iob
Just as well. powdered glass for instance.
but still 1 shall always think that Vol.
gers preparation did The lob. Well, ,ust
the same, ! wish ! had some Of Il. for
know of a dog that | would like TO prac,
tice on; but l am not able TO buy and ]
cant borrow OF the neighbors Tor they
say they won't have it around, (humph
they doa.t snow what's good) but | am
going to borrow a g.., and il that don't
do the job, am going TO town some dark
night and stenl n whole bottle, then look
out, for am coming. Every dog that j
know Of will have to take it, even IL /
have 10 pGar il down him; 70 every one
that owns a dog take warning, for | an
coming with a bottle of Jaky's oil, And
then to hear that fellow kick--it make,
me tired. Why, how would we know
there WIS any such a thing il /. wasn't
for their advertisements. Why, 1T al.
ways brings a smile to my face to pick
up IA paper and see Lydia's smiling face
glaring Mt me, as the sombre old monk il
holding in bis hand a bottle of the great
st. Jacobs ull. tell yoy i isn't right
for those fellows to make kios owe,
such "A thing as that. II they don't want
to see them, they needn't look al the
papers, or they can cmigrate TO China
where he can look at u paper and not tell
a patent medicine advertisement from n
glowing account OF a ship-wrcck on the
Republican river, or the hub. hub over the
tinansiat HHestion
Instead OF EeteianN calling an extra
session of congress Ia discuss tlie 6nan.
clai prospects of the country. he ought
to insist on n law being passed TO SEN
these kickers TO same foreign cline: or
we had ought to take the law in our own
hands, as they do in Texas and Ken.
tu-@y and inilict some horrible punish
ment on theta Coz instance, shut them
up in some dark duneeoa aol seedino
them on green cucumbcrs TIL they begged
for mercy; or stand them up in a row
and hire Corbett to hit them Just once.
Now, rs / have expressed my views on
this class OF kickers, ] will desist, but in
ts,e tntire will have something TO saw of
another class 81 kirkers which are liked
fully us well. Your,
! CONsIBTENp.