Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1893-09-15
CHAPTER XIII.
HIS PA IS DISCOURAGED.

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CHAPTER XIII.
HIS PA Is DISCOURAGED.
"Say, you leave here mighty quick"
said the grocery man to the bad boy as
he came in with his arm in sling and
backed up against the stove to get warm.
Everything has gone wrong since you
got to coming here, and l think you are
a regular Jonah. l find sand in my
sugar, kerosene in the butter, the cod
fish is all picked off, and there is some
thing wrong every time you come here.
Now, you leave"
Il amt no JOINER" said the boy as he
wiped his nose on his coat sleeve and
reached into barrel for snow apple.
81 never swallered no whale. Say, do
you believe that story about joiner being
in the whales belly all night? 1 don't.
The minister was telling about it at Sun
day school last Sunday and asked me
what thought joiner was doing while
he was in there, and I told him inter-
preted the story this way-that the
whale was fixed up inside with upper
and lower berths, like sleeping car, and
joiner had lower berth, and the porter
made up the berth as soon as joiner
came in with his satchel, and joiner
pulled off his boots and gave them to the
porter to black and put his watch I'M
der the pillow and turned in. The boys
in Sunday school all LATED, and the min
lister said was a bigger fool than Pa
was, and that was useless. If you go
back on me now. won't have a friend
except my chum and dog, and swear
by my halidom that never put no sand
in your sugar or kerosene in your but
ter.
II admit the picking off of the cod
fish, but you can charge it to Pa, the
same as you did the eggs that l pushed
my chum over into last summer. though
thought you did wrong in charging
Christmas prices for dog days eggs.
When my chum's Ma scraped his pants,
she said there was not an egg represent
ed on there that was less than two years
old. The Sunday school folks have all
gone back on me since put kyan pep
per on the stove when they were singing
Little Drops of Water and they all
had to 60 out doors and air themselves,
but I didn't mean to let the pepper drop
on the stove. / was just holding it over
the stove to warm it when my chum hit
the funny bone Of my elbow. Pa says l
am o terror to cats. Every time Pa says
anything it gives me q new idea. tell
you Pa has got great brain, but some
times he don't have it with him. When
he said ! was terror to cats, thought
what fun there is in cats. and me and
my chum went to stealing cats right off,
and before night we had II cats Gagged.
We had one in q canary bird cage. three
in Pas old hatboxes, three in Mas band
box, four in valises, two in a trunk and
the rest in a closet up stairs.
THAT night Pa said he wanted me to
stay home because the committee that
is going to get up noyster supper in the
church was going to meet at our house,
and they might want to send me on err
rands. ! asked him if my chum couldn't
stay, too, cause he is the healthiest in
FAINT to run after errands that ever was,
and Pa said he could stay, but we must
remember that there mustn't be no
monkey business going on. ] told him
there shouldn't be no monkey business,
but didn't promise nothing about cats.
Well, sir, you'd died. The committee
was in the library by the back stairs, and
me and my chum got the catboxes all
$o<,o<ha~ o$ <ba ION 30 Tho c<o;rs opd x,,o
took them all out and put them in a
clothesbasket, and just as the minister
was speaking and telling what a great
good was done by these noyster sociables
in bringing the young people together
and taking their minds from the wicked
ness Of the world and turning their
thoughts into different channels one OF
the old tom cats in the basket gave a
purmeow' that sounded like the wall Of
lost soul or a challenge to battle.
II told my chum that we couldn't
hold the bread board over the clothes
basket much longer. when two or three
cats began to yowl. and the minister
stopped talking, and Pa told Ma to open
the stair door and tell the hired girl to
see what was the matter up there. She
thought our cat had got shut up in the
storm door, and she opened the door to
yell to the girl, and then pushed the
clothesbasket. cats and all. down the
back stairs. Well. sir, I suppose nc
committee for noyster supper was ever
more astonished. Iheard Ma fall over q
willow rocking chair and say, Scat!
and heard Pa say, We'll, I'm dam'dI
and girl that sings in the choir say
Heavens, l am stabbedg Then my chum
and me ran to the front of the house
and come down the front stairs looking
as innocent as could be, and we went in
the library, and was just going to tell
Pa if there was any errands he wanted
run my chum and me was just aching tc
run them, when a yellow cat without
any tail was walking over the minister
and Pa was throwing hassock at two
cats that were clawing each other under
the piano.