The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1893-11-25
NEWGAG.

NEWGAG. /
| It was not his real name or his stage
ame. but it was the one under which he
tas best known by those who best knew
lin. 1t had been thrown ut him in cafe
he night by II newspaper man after the
performance, and had chung to him. Its
significance lay in the fact that his gags"
supposedly comic things said by presum-
IDLY comic men in nominal opera or bur
were old. The man who
estowed the title upon him thought it q
ZINE bit of irony.
Newgag received it without expressed
Resentment. but without mirth, and he
bore its repetition patiently as seasons
vent by. He was accustomed to enduring
kalmly the jests, the indignities that were
Melted by his peculiar appearance. his
eful expression, his slow and bungling
peech and movement, his diffident manner.
He was one of the forbearing men, the
nany who are doomed to continual suffer
ng OF kind that their sensitiveness and
imidity make it the more difficult for
hem to bear, Undying ambition burned
Beneath his undemonstrative surface;
launtless courage lay under his lack of
|bility.
He was an extremely spare man, OF ex-
aordinary height and the bend of his
houlders gave the small head comical
hrust forward. His black hair was with
ut curl and it would tolerate no other ar
angement than being combed back
kraight. It was allowed to grow down
ard until it scraped the back of Newgag's
Pillar, device for concealing the meager-
ess of his neck.
He had smooth. pale face, slanting
rom ears to nose like u wedge; and the
imness of the blue eyes added to its in
respective cast. He blushed, as rule,
Khen he met new acquaintances or was adj
ressed suddenly. He had II gloomy look
md hesitating way Of speech. An anus
ng spectacle was his mechanical looking
mile, which, when he became conscious
Il it, passed through several stages ex-
bressive of embarrassment until his normal
nournful aspect was reached.
when off the stage, the length Of his legs
was divertingly emphasized. After the
fashion of great actors of a bygone genera
lion, he wore u soft black felt hat, dinged
IN the crown from front to rear.
He had entered 1.-The profession" from the
amateur stage, by way of the comic opera
chorus, and to that chance was due his
being located in the comic opera wing OF
the great histrionic edidce. He had orig
tnally preferred tragedy: but the first. con
aideration was the getting upon the stage
by any means. Having industriously
worked his way out of the chorus he had
been reconciled by habit to his environ
ment and had come to aspire to eminence
therein. He had reached the standing Of {
secondary comedian-that is to say, II mar
playing secondary comic roles in the piece.
| for which he is cast. He was useful IL
such companies as were directly or in
directly controlled by their leading come
dams; for there never could he any fear o
his outshining those autocratic personages
Only in his widest hopes did he ever lool
upon the center Of the stage as spot posi-
BILE for him to attain.
His means Of evoking laughter upon tn
stage were laborious upon his part an
/ mystifying TO the thoughtful observer. II
took noticeable pains to change from hi
real self. 1t mattered not what were tn
nature of the part he filled, he invariabl
assumed an unnatural, strained, raspin
voice; he stretched his mouth to it's utmOe
reach and lowered the extremities Of hi
lps; he turned his toes inward NATURAL
his feet described an abnormal Outwai
angle) and bowed his arms. Brought u
in the school which teaches that to NAL
4 others laugh one must never smile one
self, he wore u grotesquely lugubrious an
changeless countenance. Such was New
gag in his every impersonation. When
thought he was funniest he appeared to
in most pain and was most depressing.
my methods are legitimate, anyhow
he would say when he had enlisted one
attention and apparent admiration acro'
q table bearing beer bottles and san
witches. 1.-THE people want horse play no'
adays. But when I've got to descend
that sort Of thing I'll go to the varie
stage or circus ring at once-or quit"
THAT'S a happy thought, old man
said comedian Of the younger school o
night, when Newgag had uttered }
wonted speech. "Why don't you quitS"
Such speech sufficed to rob Newgag
his self possession and to reduce him
silence. He could not cope with easy, Q
hand, impromptu testers. In truth,
one tried more than Newgag to excel
"horse play" but his temperament or
training did not equip him for excelling
it; he defended the monotony, emptin'
and toilsomeness Of his humor on
ground that it was Legitimate"
One night Nswgag drank two glasses
beer in rapid succession and looked at
with q touching countenance.
"Old boy" he said, In his homely dra,
4 horvt IN