Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-05-04
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Arc Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd Curious and
LauShable.
Let Us Laugh.

urdHlpleu 10 Jelly III lOOU-Ddll rush.
-Picayune.
Ir is doubtful whether blind man
can possess the prophetic gift; he is
no seer.-Lowell Courier.
CHAT air is very familiar" said
the musician, as a gust of wind took
his hat away.-Lampoon.
SMATTERs-"Is Miss Doud up TO
the times?" Lumsy-"Oh, yes. She
wears French heels. "-Nast's Weekly.
"I'M onto your game" as the fly re-
marked when he settled on the
checkerboard. -Philadelphia Record.
MEN who never take stand any
where else frequently have to take
one in street car.-Detroit Free
Press
EVERY poor poet knows that writ
er's cramp is never SO hard to cure as
when it's in the stomach. -Somerville
Journal
TEACHER What is arithmetic"
Ike-"Arithmetic vas the science vich
teaches us how to compute interest on
money. "-Life.
FANGLE-"A man is not necessar-
lily foor-walker because he walks
the floor" That's so. He
may be parent, Vogue.
WILLIs-"Does Rollins board?'
Wallace-"I suppose not. To-day he
was telling me about burning his
mouth drinking coffee. "-Quips.
A MAN should not imagine be-
cause girl of l6 laughs at his jokes
that he is great wit; girl of Is
laughs because she is 16.--Atchison
Globe.
MRS. WABASH" did you come
to marry your divorced husband
Helen?" Mrs. Lakeside--"It was the
only way I could get my alimony."--
Truth.
ELLA-"What makes you think
he loves you? Did he say SOP" Ida
mo- but he Rugged me. That is
roundabout way of letting me know
it. Life.
ST. PETER-Good morning; won't
you come in? Shade of Boston Girl
How dare you speak to me without
Traveller.
CARE you tired?" asked the poet,
as he stopped in one of his illusions.
"Tell me truly" ooh, no." she an
swercd, 81 have just been asleep
Exchange.
"WAslI'T that moving sermon on
domestic charities by DR.. Monthly?"
ayes, indeed; old Skynflynt actually
dropped tear in the plate. "-Har-
ward Lampoon.
MAUD-"There are no flies on Mi
nerva Backbay." INTELLECTUALLY
having their toes frost-bitten. y
Texas Siftings.
81 NEVER had so long dry spell in
my life" said the Kentucky gentle
man, who had been shut up for
week in a temperance town by the
tloods.-EXchange.
"THE difference" said the man
with weary look in his eye, "be-
tween my poem and my umbrella is
that the poem is always returned
with thanks. Exchange.
SHE-"Why co you suppose Mr..
Tonpkins always wears such an
amused smile?" He-"Well, he
ought to. He has keen sense Of the
ridiculous and is very self-conscious.
Life.
THERE is no need of the whole ma
tiOn getting off about consular
agent being shot in the foot, but it
wouldn't be surprising if it made
him hopping mad. - Philadelphia
Times.
MAMMA--"And how did my little
pet get to sleep last night without
mammal" Little Pet-"Papa tried
to sing me to sleep like you do, an /
hurried up and went to sleep SOS not
to hear ."-Exchange.
He KNEW HER FAILING. Mrs.
Dresswell (to her daug law
Wait a minute. you haven't seen my
duck Of new bonnet. Daughter-in-
laws husband Gnterposing)-H HASN'T
she? Then you didn't buy it any
where in this neigborhood. Fun.
SUNDAY MORNING. Barker going
TO his club = Good-morning, Miss
Smithers. On your way to ST. Pc
ter's? Miss Smithers-And you are,
too | suppose? Barker (embarrassed)
oh, Of course. Miss Smithers-
Queer we should be travelling in OPP
osite directions. -Harper's Bazaar.
WHAT is going to be played at the
opera house tomorrow evening. Mr..
McGinnis?" asked Mr.. Longcoffin.
ut isn't decided yet, replied McGin-
mis-. "How is that" Il don't know
how it comes" said Mr.. McGinnis,
"but | read in the paper this morn
ing that they were going to play
.Othello, or the Moor of Venice.
but it did not say which. Texas
Siftings.