Passaic City record., 1893-03-04

what is set before him. admit that it
is no longer the case with me---unless
/ am taking you out" he continued.
cor course these things are serious
offenses against the higher life, especially
the stoutness; and they amply demon
strate that am of the earth, earthly. l
am glad it is proved to your satisfaction,
for otherwise there have been moments
when have been so fatuous as to think
that you might after all find it hard to
throw me over completely"
sIt is hardly fair to talk like that,
she said with suppressed agitation. 81
try hard to recognize the facts of life. ]
am reasonable being. l have not been
dreaming about the hero in melo-
drama. But surely, somewhere, though
/ have never known him yet, there is
man who is both strong and fine; man
who can use the adornments of life with
out falling their slave, or can dispense
with them and respect himself no less; a
man who is not ashamed to have ideals
and to stri re toward them. Is humanity
so poor, then, that may not hope to
find hima And do you suppose I like
to tell you that you are not hef You
who come so rear in most things2"
Outside the swift November twilight
had begun to fall. The light was grow
ing faint in the library. Amory turned
the carved paper-cutter over and over in
his strong, soft hands, bending it this
way and that.
eff / were to tell her that am that
man, what would she say, wondera" he
thought. .sOn my soul I think that I
am not far from beng it. If my life is
not blameless in my own eyes, yet it
would hardly be blameworthy even in
hers. Is 1t nothing to have kept ones
hands clean and ones soul unstained2
Does she think man does that without
ideals2 Does she really think / am under
any serious misapprehensions as to uses
of life2 Does she-O, Lord. How hope
less it would be to try to make her un-
derstand."
He interrupted his own thoughts abb
ruptly. The paper-knife snapped in his
hands, and he dropped the fragments
with soft gesture Of his opened hands,
and drew one long breath. Then he
rose, saying with new gravity that she
had never heard IN his tones before:
$50 be it. You must forgive me if
I seemed triHe bitter. A man does
not lose cheerfully all am losing-for
did not ask you to marry me to make
me comfortable, since you insist my
fondness for comfort, but because it was
my one chance for happiness Such hap
piness and such stimulus as you are still
young enough to get from many things,
I find only in your presence. I have
only one thing more to say. Please re-
member it. am, unfortunately for my
comfort, too old to change. / shall not
love again. Absurd as it may SEEM
and know you think me quite absurd
I shall not cease to love you as love
you now. But as for you, know your
world better than you know it. You are
twenty two. That is rather young.
am not young, but can afford to give
you ten years out of my life TO look for
that ideal of yours. And shall think
the time well wasted if at the end of it
you can tell me that no one has ever
come nearer it than /. You know you
have never told me that you could not
love me, never once, but only that ! did
not come up to that mark. And so do
not give up"
Her eyes had been fixed on the floor.
Now she lifted up her head, but it had
grown suddenly so dark that he could
only see the motion not the look she
sent toward him.
SIS that what you truly think, you
truly feel9" she asked at last with note
in her voice which he never remembered
to have heard there before. It stirred
his pulses and he wondered duly what it
meant.
He assented silently. The exhilira-
ton with which he had entered the
house, the courage with which he had
begun the discussion, had all evapora-
ted. He felt tired; he was conscious of
the night, of the burden of his years and
of the deadly soberness of life.
.sThen-then-I almost think you
need not waitl"
Eleanor, do you know what you are
sayings"
She turned her head away and faced
the gathering darkness.
Show can he be SO stupid as to ask
me that?" she demanded of the friendly
November twilight. lis it going to
take ten years Tor him to understand"
Kate Fields Washington.