davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

He (painting)--"If you were |
Miss Maude, ] wonder how you'd
treat this subiect?" She (posing)
-"Oysters. Kate Fields Wash
inpton.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

When wife counsels her hus-
band to come straight home after
an evening banquet she means it in
more senses than one.--Boston
Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

won't you try TO love me3" he
pleaded. mo, Mr.. Adams, ] cam
not" she answered. 81 am not
over-strong, and my physician has
advised me not to do too much, -
Vogue.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

She-"Maude--Oh, she's one OF
the friends of my youth" He-"l
didn't take her to be as old as that.
Kate Fields Washington.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

Il don't think that fellow will
be quite so fresh hereafter" re-
marked old Farmer Huskey, the
other night, as he sent a load OF
roek-salt into the fleeing figure of
the chicken thief.--Philadelphia Re-
cord.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

George-"I wonder why EtheI
calls me her chrysanthemum?'
Binks-"She may have discovered
the fact that you haven't cent. v
BROOKLYN Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

He talked Of love in a cottage;
1t was his fondest dream.
But he forgot the awful expense
Of heating it by steam.
Chicago Inter Ocear
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

Miss Bewty (romantically)-
Men never do bravedeeds nowadays
to show their love for women.
Mr.. Best They don't, ell? Don't
they marry them?" ?"-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

There is no help for the case of
the woman who can't get servant.
philadelphia Record.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

New Patient--"Do you think
you can help me, doctor?"
Doctor-"Well, ] ought to.
have had experience enough.
have been attending a man with
the same disease for the last TWEEN
ty wears. Puck.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

Shelf | refuse you, what will
you dof" He-"Propose to some
other girl" She-"Then accept" "
Chicago News Record.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08
HUMOROUS.
Measuring vessels speed is a
knotty problem. Boston Courier.

When n man is generous to
fault it is never one of his wife's.-
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08
HUM PHI REYs'

This Precious OINTMENT is the
triumph Of Scientific Medicine.
Nothing has ever been produced to
equal or compare with it as CURATIVE
and HEALING APPLICATION. 1t has been
used over 40 years, and always affords
relief and always gives satisfaction.
For Piles External or Internal, Blind
or Bleeding; Fistula in Ano Itching or
Bleeding of the Rectum. The relief is
immediate - the cure certain.
For Burns, Scalds and liberation and
Contraction from Burns. The reiefis instant
the healing wonderful and unequaled.
For Boils, Hot Tumors. Ulcers, Fistulas,
Old Sores, Itching Eruptions, Chafing or
Scald Head. 1t is Infallible.
For Inhamed or Caked Breasts and Sore
Nipples. 1t is invaluable.
Price, 50 Cents. Trial size, IS Cents.
Sold by Drusrsta cent pos-rad receipt price,
HUMPHREYS nwD. CO., iiIAiis william st., NEW YORK.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

1t appears to be the business of
the needy tramp to go around look
ing for success.-Binghamton Lead
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

Samson was the first man Oh
record to bring down the house.
Union County Standard
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

Odd as it may seem, the profess
sional lady-killers seldom sleigh
their girls.-Chicago Times.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08

The man who buckles down to
business runs but little chance OF
being strapped.-Troy Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

sDaily. Daily except Sunday. Carrying
passengers with permits.
Parlor car on day trains and sleeping cars on
night trains
The direct line 10 Niagara Falls, Buffalo, New
York, Boston, Detroit, Toledo, Chicago, and all
points in the United States and Canada.
Through tickets TO all points in the United States
and Canada.
WHITING, Ticket Agent
O.w. RUGGLEg, @. p. & r. Agt.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent
Rooms 4, 8, Dawson Block.

Wni take charge OF estates for residents and non
essdents collect rents, pay taxes, placs Insurance.
'otsin abstracts OF title, etc.
Once hours-lO to l2A. NJ, 4to6P.M
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-02-08
Absolutely Pure.

A cream Of tartar baking powder. High.
Get Of all In strength. as. Gorera-
msenf Food Report
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
BE Generous With Your Wife.

Every season brings with it to the
feminine mind at least a desire to 90 ont
and shop" which process of course
means certain amount Of money in the
white, red or heliotrope purse which the
woman of fashion now carries. If she
has an allowance given her at the begin
ming of every month, she can by prudent
fOrethought be provided with sufficient
sum to get all the little fxings she de-
sires, and she won't have to beg and
plead for new bonnet or a spring gown
after the manner of many wives and
daughters who have not their own pocket
money, but who are compelled to ask for
even quarter with which to buy hair
pins or candy.
\ man may be as generous as even the
most eXtravagant woman could desire,
but even to ask of him every time you
want anything is not pleasant. There is
something n feminine nature that would
rather economic on a certain stated
amount, knowing that it is hers to dc
with as she desires, than to be allowed
to run up large bills and yet not possess
a half dollar that can be squandered
without question.
Let every man from the very day of
his marriage give his wife sum that he
can afford and which she will under
stand is to be her very own for her ward
robe and her various wants, and which
she can either spend on the first day that
she gets it or make last until her next
pay day.-New York Commercial Adj
yertiSer.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
DADS OLD GRlNDSTONE.

Under a spreading russell bOugh,
Cncarcd for an alone,
Through summers sun an winters snow
Has stood dads oil grindstOne.
An i'll faLcy sCe il now
Almost with weeds O'ergrOwn.
How well l recOllect each morn
That dad would call to me
At break of day to come an turn
The stone beneath the tree,
An every whirl she'ud squeak and groan,
An much eXerted be.
My hands would blister, peel an tear,
But | made ne'er face;
Twas better to be blistered there
Than on some other place.
So while the lark songs filled the air
The grindin went apace.
steal from town life oft in ruth
An look the old scenes through,
And though it sounds bit uncuuth
find these words come true,
1.-THE work l dreaded so in youth
Inow would gladly dO.'
I'm turning now the stone of life,
A-grindin fortunes blade,
With hicks an cracks extremely rife
An ruther poorly made,
An oft the stone squeaks in the strife,
Like dads beneath the shade.
Boston Advertiser.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
Clerical Criticism of Gladstone.

A reverend parsonage named Porter,
preaching the other day at st. Thomas.
Nottingham, actually announced from
the pulpit that he ''abhorred" Mr.. Glad
stone and went on to compare the pre-
mier to Judas Iscariot in this strain.
Judas" he said, 'sold his Master for 30
pieces Of silver, but Mr.. Gladstone sold
his mother, the church, for 80 Welsh
votes" 1t is only fair to say that the
gentleman who informs me of this sally
avows himself an i-Gladstonian, but
he says that he draws the line some
where. He, however. is not a minister
Of religion.-London Truth.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
A Natural SuppOsition,

A woman planning to remain very late
in her country home found difficulty in
persuading her city servants to consent
to remain. She thereupon tried to pro-
cure some native assistance and found
it necessary to begin with a maid of the
village who was willing to see what she
could do in the waitress line.
The methods of the work were care
fully explained to her, and she seemed
to understand its requirements.
How hopeless tie situation really was
showed to the amused employer when
the girl finally said, Il suppose after I've
set the dishes on the table you can do
your own reaching, can't you:"
She was not engaged.-New York
Times,
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
WOOD SONGS.

Ask me not why-I only know
1t were thy loss if could show
Thee cause as for q lesser thing.
Remember how We searched the spring,
But fuVud no >ouTcc-sO clear the sky
Within its earth bound depths did lie.
Give 10 thy Joy its wings,
Unto thy heart its song, nor try
With qUc>tionimgs
The thrubJiue throat that sings,
For in thy clear and steadfast eyes
Thine own self wonder deepest lies,
Nor any words that lips can teach
Are sweetcr than their wonder speech;
And when thou giyest them to me
Through dawus of tenderness see,
As in the water sky
The sun Of certainty appear.
SO-ask me why,
For then thou knowcst, dear.
Arthur Sherbarne Hardy in Scribner's.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27

submissive by reason or MS own NORTH
cation.
The colonel, therefore, went in and
told Mrs. Frosty about it, which so thor
Oughly pleased that amiable lady that, in
view of previous circumstances, she set
up resistless laugh i'll the face of her
humble lord, in the midst of which his
very polite escort took occasion to quiet
ly withdraw.
But Frosty was thoroughly cured of
his jealousy, for he admitted that it was
quite possible for a respectable man to
mistake even the number of his own
dOor.-BostOn Globe.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
A Trick With Figures.

Ask friend to put down four figures,
which you are not supposed to see. Let
him add these up and subtract the sum
from the original figures. Then let him
strike out any figure in the result and
tell you the sum of the smaining fig
ures. You can instantly ten him what
figure he struck out. The modus oper-
andi is easy and depends on the esoteric
qualities Of 8. He puts down, say, 7,42S.
Add up these tigures-21, which sub
tract and get 7,4O7. Cross out, say, :.
This leaves the sum of the remaining
figures II, which, he announces. Mentally
subtract II from the next highest null
tiple of 8, which is Is, and You get Z,
which was the figure crossed Out.-Phil-
adelphia Times.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27

the love she nad 1nsplreu. one casJupon
the boy one last look of infinite tender
ness; then, gathering all her strength for
the deathblow, she said in her cold, beau
tiful voice:
you little foolr'-Translated For Ar
gonaut From the French of Albert Gui-
non by Alice Ziska.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
A Remarkable state of Affairs.

In one Of the leading dry goods stores
recently 10 was proposed to reduce the
wages of rhe women in order that those
of the married men might be raised.
But investigation showed that the single
women were supporting more people
than the married men. and the proposed
change did not take place.-New York
Sun.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
\ Great Volume of Homer.

Among the thousands of volumes
burned in the great book fire at ConSan-
tinople in the year AT A. D. was one Of
the works of Homer written in letters
of gold upon the great intestine of
dragon, which made manuscript of 12O
feet long and crrbit and a half C27
inchesl widest. Louis Republic.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1893-05-27
Babie. OF Today Are Indeed Fortunate.

This present generation of babies is
certainly far from being spanked for
what were once known as 'tantrums,"
but that now come under the head of
emotions" Tender provision is made
in these days for this cropping out of
the old Adam.-New York Times.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
HOUSEHOLD HELPS.

RrMPLED EGGs.-Heat six eggs with
a teaspoonful of melted butter and a
tablespoonful Of sweet milk. put in a
saucepan, set over the fire, and stir tn-
til thick; season with salt and pepper.
Pour on buttered toast, and serve
Harper's Bazaar
FRIED HoMINY-Have a frying pan
with hot butter IL it, and put in as
much hominy as required for the meal.
Pour over 1t very little water or milk
to keep it from burning on. Salt to
suit the taste. Do not stir it while
cooking. but leave the kernels whole. -
Boston Budget.
BOILED RICE-Look over and wash
one pint of rice, add three pints of
water and one teaspoonful of salt, boil
over quick fire for ten minutes, stir
ring it often, then pour off nearly all
the water, cover closely, set on the
back part of the stove and let steam
fifteen minutes.--N. Y. Observer.
GRAHAM APPLE Pie. One cup sour
milk, half teaspoon soda, one cup Of
Graham flour. batter should be soft
enough to level itself: fill deep pie
platter third full; peel, quarter and
core tart apples and place as many in
the batter as It will hold; over the top
sprinkle sugar and bake until brown
Detroit Free Press.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
Sks-RUNNiNG.
The High Jump from the Sno|y-Co.ared
Pracipice with the STAY.

The High Jump from the Sno-y-Coysred
Pracipice with the STAY.
In ski-running probably greater in
terest centers in the high jumping, the
delta hole hop" as the Norwegians
call it, delta hoga hoppet'' in Swedish
vernacular. than any other ore depart
ment of this splendid sport 1t needs
trained feet and a trained eve, care ard
experience and caution, and, above all,
nerve. to be n successful jumper
Mounted upon the long narrow pine
wood silis, the runner pauses at the top
of higl, hill. His muscular form is
sharply drawn upon the blue back
ground of the sky. He roises himself,
gives mayhap another tug at the fas.
Jennings of his slender runners. He
is off down the hill at d ter
rife pace. Midway in the hill an en-
banlSment has been made, n snow
covered platform, which juts out from
the hillside and forms the precipice
from which he is to make the leap.
Just as he reaches the brink he crouches
low, holds his ''stav'' before him in
both clenched hands, and springs.
bent, into the air, the marked curve
be gives to his course propelling him
all the further on his way. Quickly
the resisting air must part before his
great momentum-keen. wintry air
that thrills like tingling wine.
There have been many famous re-
corded jumps made by those who have
cOnteSfe ed for nriZee, ~. tho osra, Z o,,r,,o
ments of Norway and Sweden, but it
has remained for an Americana or
wegian, Mikllel Hemmestvedt, Thele-
marken man, TO break all official rec
ords by leaping, at the Red Wing
(Minn.) tourney, in 1890 sheer one
hundred and two feet from precipice to
landing. Mr.. Hemmestvcdt also holds
the championship of Norway.-W S.
HARDWOOD, in Outing.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

SWEAT in the name of Jupiter have
you sewed up all the pockets in my
overcoat for?" Dearest, have an i'm
portant letter 10 my milliuer that
wish you TO mail. Inter Ocean.
THE scent OF violets makes Patti so
hoarse that she can scarcely speak,
said Gasser to Chinner. That evening
Mr.. Chinner took home large bunch
of violets to Mrs. Chinner--N. Y. Press.
How THOSE GIRLS LOVE OEE AN
OTHER. -Clara-"How many times did
YOU dance last night?" Maud-''Three. -
Clara-"Then there must have been ct
least twenty dances, weren't there?H-
Truth.
THE car must have pretty nice
time, after ALL" said Mr.. Meekins.
What makes you think sop asked his
wife. His wife takes chances on going
to Siberia if she blows him uP."-Wash-
iuCton Star.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A BROOKLYN editor says that Brook
lyn is the greatest gum-chewing city in
the world.
A TOAST given at meeting of WON
ans club in Springfield. Mo-, was The
Men We Left Behind Us"
CALIFORNIA boasts of having shipped
no less than 25,326 car loads Of fruit
outside the state during the past year.
PRopRIEToRs of the Pawtucket Or. l. }
mills report that orders are so plenti-
full that they can't get out crinoline
fast enough.
THE daily supply of milk for the New
York market amounts to about 10000
cans of milk, 10 cans of condensed
milk and 400 cans of cream.
IL the town of Flint, Mich. man
and his wife are candidates for school
trustees On opposing tickets. the man
a republican and the wife democrat.
TOBACCO received its name of nicotia-
ma in honor of Jean Moot. envoy from
the court of Franco to Portugal, who
sent some seed to Catherine dc Me3icis.
A PAIR of young bisons have been
placed by an English nobleman on his
game preserves and several similar
orders have been placed with American
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
PICKED PEPPERS.

WRITIN' fiatterin' epitaph is like
~aterin' last years garden.
THE preacher or speaker that can't
bile down, generally blles over.
SOME people think that one good in
tention weighs more'n dozen bad acts.
THE minute Pride takes hand in the
discharge of duty, Virtue goes on a
strike.
a ROSEWOOD coffin Tor the dead don't
make no amends for days unkindness
or injustice TO the. livin'.
1T would be a heap easier for some
people 20 pay for a memorial winder in
a church, than 1t would be to speak a
kind word.
YoU'D think from the way some PEG
pie count on q chance like the dyin'
thief had for repentance, that there
want no disgrace in bein' hung if they
only squeezed into Heaven.-Young
Mems Era
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18

a SMART DOG.
He Looked After the Interests Of HI
Master.

Master.
An interesting incident of canine in
telligence was contributed by gentle
man, of Milton, Nova Scotia. A lum.
herman had dog named Watch who
knew as much, if not more, than some
people do. Watch knew the names oi
all the tools used by his master. and
also where they were kept. He would
bring any one Of them or return 1T to
its place when told to do so.
The great exploit Of Watch's life,
however, was in connection with his
dexterity in the water
His master lived close by the river,
about a quarter of q mile below the
mills. and the slabs edgings and other
driftwood coming down from the mills
were picked up for fuel.
Watch was very fond Of picking up
this wood: would swim out when he
saw a piece coming. and drag it to the
shore The tide from the sea rose and
fell as far up the river as his master 6
house, and one OF the strangest sights
was to see how the dog secured the
heavy pieces he was unable to drag
clear of The river He knew that pieces
living against the shore at low tide
would float off when the tide came in,
so he watched the tide and, as the
water helped, he drew them futher and
further up until the tide began 10 fall,
which of course left the wood high and
dry, and some of the family would pile
it up clear of the tide altogether. Any
thing he was able TO handle he would
carry out clear himself
A man by the name of Gardner rent
cd house just above Watch's masters
place, and Gardner, IN order to catch
the driftwood. built small wharf
out in TO the river from which for day
or two he secured all the wood, the dog
waiting anxiously below and getting
nothing.
This soon got too monotonous for
Watch, and the fourth day, when Gard
ner made his appearance as usual. the
dog deliberately walked up above him,
to stone wall lying up and down the
river, and from there he sprang in and
drew off every piece of wood that came
down, so that Gardner could not reach
them. This so enraged Gardner that
he went UP with his boat-hook to drive
Watch away. But the dog sprang at
him, and in the melee the man was
knocked into the water, getting a wet
ting and the worse of the conflict
Gardner tried the experiment next day
OF letting part of the pieces 90 past, a
compromise that the dog accepted in
good part, and there was no more trou-
BILE. The Voice.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
YOUNG PEOPLES SOCIETIES.

THE March St. Andrews Cross says:
"Wifhin SIX months d thousand new
members have been admitted TO the
brotherhood of st. Andrew"
THE Young Women Christian assoc
citation OF Westbournc Park, England,
conducts classes at a home for young
women in dress cuttin" and making.
THE next British convention Of the
Young Peoples Society Of Christian
Endeavor viii be held at Bradford, Eng
land, next June. It is expected that DIR.
Clark viii be present.
THE membership of the Young WON
ems Christian association OF New York
city is s27. of whom 277 are active. The
association is in debt and an appeal for
s25. 900 has been issued to enable it to
meet the deficiency of last year and
continue its benehcent work on the
broad lines now laid out.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
CURRENT NOTES.

BEAUTIFUL spring swells the buds
and the heads of spring poets.-N. O..
Picayune.
when a penurious young man mar
ries an heiress 1t is not improper to al
lude to the event as .'tin'' wedding
Rochester Post.
ONLY heartless man can watch a
households moving-to say nothing of
participating therein-and be unmoved
himself pittsburgh Dispatch.
FAIR VIsIToR-"How can you tell an
optimist from pessimist?" The Art
ist-"The one says. that's good and the
other that's not bad. Life.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
Hosea Riddle. who died not -

Hosea Riddle, who died not very
long since, very old man. was IA.
nous o1-driver and democrat of north
crn Delaware. He rdroveo enormous
oxen, and employed in the task voice
that could have rivaled steam fog
horn. His labors frequently took him
over into the edge OF Cecil county. Nd.
whose white highways are clearly
visible from the neighboring hills OF
Delaware. When rural Delawarea u
heard noise as of incip;ent riot over
N Mary land, and. straining his eyes.
saw sDeck toiliug up some hillside,
he knew il was the voice Of Hosea
Riddle urging on his OK team. The
belief i tradition that Riddles voice
could be heard as far as his team could
be seen.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-04-18
Sugar W Gather.

When snovballs pack on the horses hoofs
And the wind from the south blows warm,
When the cattle stand where the sunbearns
beat
And the noon has a dreamy charm;
When icicles crash from the dripping caves.
And the burrows peep black through the snow,
Then hurry away TO the sugar bush,
For the sap will run, know.
With anger and AK and spile and trough
To each tree visit pay,
And every boy in the countryside -
Is eager to help to-day.
We roll the baclSlogs into treir place,
And the kettles between them swing,
Then gather the wood for the roaring ire
And the sap in pailfuls bring.
a fig for your arches and modern ways,
tg for your shect.iron pan,
] like the smoky ola kettles best,
And stick 10 The good old plan
We're going 10 make sugar and ta1y tonight
On the swing pole under the tree,
And the girls and boys for miles around
Are all sworn friends TO me.
The hens are cackling again in the barn,
And the cattle beginning TO baWl,
and neighhors, who long have been acting cool
Now make forgving call
For there's no love feast like ta1y pull,
With its hearty and sticky fun.
Apd know the whole world 5 Il peace with me
For the sap has commenced &c run
p Macarthur, in Youths Companion.