The Helena independent. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1875-1943, 1893-03-19
Anterosting Statistics Of the Subject
Collected and Put in Tabu-
lar Form.
UYmAnss Choice Harvest Time Ia
Between the Ages OF
sS 80 and 80.
" Troposal-Figures for Study
and Reference.

1OUtcO some interesting otatisttcS upon tue
aubisct OF men and mntrimony that arc
worthy of contemplation these somber
Lenten days. The result Of his o~alcula-
ttons ID offered in the form Of a tabulated
list. which shows US the percentage of mar
!riaga at various ages from 20 to so. Thus
wo are informed, says the Cincinnati Com
mercial, that ont of 1000 bachelors ovid
oWerv have a table to themselves) only
twenty-one may be expected to
take themselves wives when
they are between the ages of
20 and rs. Now, although IL is emphat-
ically at such an age that youths make a
profound study of the ethics of Irritation.
II must disagree with the clever atatistician
when he laments their continued bachelor
hood. Itsw ould be but a sorry spectacle to
see them making a study OF the ethics of
y~epenting at leisure. From % TO 30 they
grow in resolution, as ninety four marriages
may then be expected among 1000 mar
sr~iageablelmen, which leaves only BOG maid
ems with nothing more substantial. as a
memory Of past tenderness. than a
ball programme, or. may be. a with
cred flower. Bachelors whose ages vary
from 30 to IS should be strsnuouslv culti-
waited. Positively 1873 out of the thousand
are desperate enough to take the fatal step;
while. from So TO 40, LAT are sufficiently
bold TO do 80. This is magnificent; but
then come Immediately symptoms of the
decline. During the next five years the
marriages drop to 1872, and the thence fade
silently away to solitary numerals. ending
at the age of 80 in a fraction. Not even
halt q bachelor out of a thousand. is
left to blush before the altar when he has
Attainedsto his fourscore years. A matter
for regrss is that we cannot obtain statistics
Of the ages at which the other sex proposes.
Judging from the experience OF most
women, men commence to do SO at II, and
work steadily and perseveringly away at
the accomplishment until they reach the
ice OF % or 90. when they only indulge in
d pastime. Now, the table chat has been
given to us provides that. until he is SIS. a
bachelors proposal has absolutely no
marketable value. II may. indeed, only
be said to fetch a reasonable price be-
tween the ages of 80 and Do. The deduction
forbids us to give our hearts into the keep
ing of q man under 80, as, the aforesaid
hearts must inevitably be broken. It seems
that ut even the most blooming .hymenial
periods the chances against final annexa-
ton Of a husband are nearly seven to one.
Au6 LOWE x9 AOV OaCOAAAR w C4HuAVA
couples. In any case, ! advise Angelina,
when Edwin falls on his knees. to think of
this table Of her chances. n to be pru-
dent.
Another statistical sharp has come to
light III San Francisco, and he has. after
reading several hundred novels. given us
the benefit of his researches as to how men
md women behave at tho critical point
when a man pays u woman the compliment
of asking her to share his burial lot with
him az we'll as the time intervening before
that uninteresting event.
Some f~allacies are exposed, tho princl.
pal one being that the ladies do not promise
TO be a sister to the rejected one oftener
than seventeen times out of fifty. while she
promises to be n friend twenty-six times in
the same number.
Now, as to the gentleman's behavior, de-
cidedlv the popular thing is for him to de-
clare that he nj live without the woman
in question, and in sixty-seven cases in loo
he kisses her on the lips, seventy-two times
he holds her hands very tightly. and sixty
three times he begins "all of a sudden"
The least popular thing for him to do il
kiss the woman on the head, on the nose by
mistake. and on the shawl. He usually sits
upon a chair or sofa, three times be reclinet
on the r lass, four times he goes on one
knee, and twice he goes on two knees, sc
that the kneeling business is pretty vel
evened up.
The popular thing for the lady, in cas-,
of an acceptance, ia to sink into the arms
of the gentlemen. and this she does Gig hty
one times out Of a hurried, and in Gig hty
seven cases she knows something is com.
inc.
Seventy-two times she has eyes full Of
love, and sixty-six times she rests her heat
upon the gentleman's breast. Only fonl
times is she taken by surprise, and 81,
times she weeps silently for Joy. Once sh'
sneezes. once she struggles not to he kissed
and once she says, Don't be a fool"
In cases Of rejection it is evidently thu
proper thing for the gentleman to rush mad
~ away. for he does this in thirty one case
in fifty. He declares that he will commi
suicide but six times. once he says he viii
he will go home.
Once he pounds a stone wall with his fist
once he pulls down his vest. and only one
does he refuse to be prayed for. but h
swears that life is of no value sevente el
kipoan