Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-14
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO.
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.

means friendly pressure. Lowell
Courier.
LABEL man dangerous and most
girls Of Is see halo around his head.
-Atchison Globe.
SOME nervous people waste almost
half their time getting there too
early. Dallas News.
If you'll notice, the man who can
sleep like top is pretty apt to be a
hummer. Buffalo Courier.
W1LLIs-Which is the best position
in which to sleep? Wallace-On the
police force. -Brooklyn Life.
THE most majestic manner cannot
be maintained when its possessor is
obliged to sneeze. - Kate Fields
Washington.
DYING by inches is fast enough,
but it's unfortunate when football
players die by the foot as it we're
Philadelphia Times.
NELL-"Miss Passe hasn't very
beautiful form, has she?" Belle
mo, but she makes up for it,
Philadelphia Record.
THE ears are eyes to the blind, says
an observer. According to this view
blind person must be an ear-sighted
person.-Boston Courier.
parker is awfully conceited. He
doesn't seem able to get away from
himself" That's because he's stuck
on himself. "-Harper's Bazaar.
MoLL1E-"That old man Hattie is
going to marry isn't worth dollar.
Sarah-"Of course not; he's only a
remnant. "-Detroit Free Press.
"YOU nave faith that your husband
will become great artist?" Wife
Il can't tell yet, you see; he has only
been dead ten years. Inter Ocean.
A MAN can always tell where he
got his cold just as easily as he can't
tell where he left his umbrella two
or three days before. - Somerville
Journal.
"YOUR neighbor appears to have
failed good many times. Gust
twenty-four times. The next will
be his silver-bankruptcy. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
A RoUGH ESTIMATE. Miss Sears
what should you imagine her age
to be?" Miss knox-"Im not very
good at guess; possibly the carbon.
ferrous. Vogue.
II isn't always sure that young
man is religious because he goes reg
ularly to prayer 1t may be
the girl who is the religious one
Somerville Journal.
BERTHA-"Oh, dear, I've got to GO
to the dressmaker and be fitted.
Maud-"I sympathize with you, for
know you will have trying time. y
Rochester Democrat.
CUsTOMEK-Have you a copy OF
"Fifteen Decisive Battles?" Bookshelf
er-No, sir; we are sold out but we
can give you reflections Of Mar
ried Man. "-Tit-Bits
"IT's wonderful" remarked the ed
itor, "how proud man acts when he
is going to have his picture publish
ed, and how humble he feels after it
has happened. Washington Star
WHEN a man is accused he begins
by saying: "These attacks Of my en-
emles will not injure me. [ have
lived here too long to need defense,
and then proceeds to give one. -
Atchison Globe.
FEATHERsToNE waiting for Miss
Slimson to come down)-Willy, that
clock of yours is half an hour fast.
Willy-You'd better not tell sister
So Feathers tone-Why not? Willy
oh I'm
it.-Puck.
Mr. JoNEs-So you are the new
servant my wife has hired. / sup
pose you had good references? New
Servant-Yes indeed. | was in my
last place three years and they gave
me a time allowance of nine months
for good behavior. Texas Siftings.
CHIEF MILLER-Say, Sleuthpup,
did you catch that thief? Detective
Sleuthpup-No, sir. Chief Miller
Well, why didn't you catch him?
Detective Sleuthpup-I don't know,
chief, unless it's because I've
Just been vaccinated. Philadelphia
Record.
DEAR me-" said the girl with black
snappy eyes, Il wish l was a foot
bali player" what do you mean?"
asked her mother aghast "Just
what I say. l wish I was football
player, and that hateful, snippy little
Sallie Giggles was on the other side. +"
w ashington Star
Mrs. MEADOW heard those city
people say something about taking
rides in traps. What kind Of wagons
be they? Mr.. Meadow-Huh! Any
body might know you'd never been to
York. It's black-covered carriage
that We git into expectin' to pay 10
cents fare-and We git charged So
p,nn