People's voice. [volume] (Wellington, Sumner County, Kansas) 1890-1917, 1893-10-06
{" NE AND ELI.
They Take in the Show, of Course

see the animals. First cage contain
ed a trick mule that some feller had
painted stripes around like a barber
pole. 1t was dirty trick and that
is why it was trick mule. A feller
with Salvation Army jacket and a
jockey cap said it was a zebra. We
told him we could always distinguish
a mule that way-by Ze bray. Passed
several cages that contained some
fair-Sized wildcats aid other COM
mOnplace animals. Turning around
we noticed an old maid standing
near Eli. She wasn't chewing gum.
In the next cage was another very
old monkey and it wasn't chewing
gum either. 1t looked more like a
fried idiot. A clerical looking gen.
tleman said it was the ancestor of
our fOrefathers. The monkey didn't
seem to be at all fattered and showed
no signs of recognizing the C. |. G.
Eli couldn't believe it. The C. |. g.
said the monkey sprung from stump
and man sprung from the monkey.
This rather Stumped Eli, but he said
if he had been there he would have
shot the ''varmint" before it sprung.
That would have spoiled the evolu-
tiOn Of gOldbug congressman and its
darn pity Eli and his gun were not
there. Passed on and came to some
very lOng-necked birds-longer than
Jack COrbett and as fat as a barbed
wire fence. If the neighbors would
see that Jack gets something to eat
he might fatten up a little tOo-but
he wouldn't be in style with the
other sharp editors of the town, so
we concluded we wouldn't ask for a
donation for Jack until he gets ready
to visit the Worlds Fair, when he
will probably be able to take up his
own collection. In the next pen were
some more camels, but the editor of
the Monitor wasn't among them.
He probably crawled through the
tent On the other side. The next Gu.
riOsity after the Campbells was a
horse that had fallen into a tanners
vat and shed his coat. A butcher
would probably call him dressed
horse, but anybody could see it was a
lie, for he didn't have a hair on him
nor nothing else. We passed on
around until we came to two of the
darnedeSt biggest hogs we ever seed
They were dressed too, but stark
naked. The elephant had stepped on
their SnOuts and kinder llatteneC
them out, and they have been passing
as rare specimens ever since. Eli eS
timated that if properly ground they
would make eight thousand links Of
bologna, but said he wouldn't eat one
link if he knew it would kill him
Passed the peanut venderS and Othel
animals and went on in to see thu
circus. Col. Seeley had preserved
seats awaiting us, and a man with /
Greeley hat and kodak came alOnI
and took our picture-free gratis
for nothing. We didn't charge hin
anything for the time we stood look
ing across the way-while he wa,
looking out for other victims. FL
said it was one of the Sellses. / tolC
him / thought ii was Adam Sell
He says yes, that's right. Adam
SELL" The crowd didn't hear thl
joke or the laughing would have beer
more hearty than it was. Then Johr
Stewart came along with his chill
dren and got his picture taken;
family group. 1t was a good night
for taking pictures and it was a littl,
surprising how many people wer,
anxious and willing to have their pic
lures taken-in cigar box. Me ant
Eli were right In the swim. Beside
the green and gullible couple from
the country, Marshal Quinn, El
Coates, E. Van Horn and other prom
inent people followed our example
1t amt often people ian get thei
pictures taken for nothing. Alon,
came another flock of geese, headet
by Elmer Layne. The kOdaker want
ed to take the group, but true to hi
instincts, Elmer kicked. He Away
does. He would kick II the best al
, tist in the world was to come alonI
and want to paint him red. Thi
same man kicked like a bay steer be
cause people didn't wait until h
got bottom claim in the Strip.
he had taken horse that can ruI
like the one the manager OF th
VOICE owns he might have got
claim. We noticed auother sheep il
the animal show that looked as indC
! pendent as he does. But it didn'
! kick. Then came the grand parad
Of dogs, dudes, dutchmans and Othe
dOnkeys, followed by the old Glow
mounting an elevated stage and sing
ing mo Place Like HOmer He ya