West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1893-04-20
!
BROTHER GARDNER
In the Limo Kiln Club-..He Decides
That Force Must be Used to
Carry Ont the Rules or
Cushlng's Manuel.

FOR some time past there have
been evidences Of an insurrection
against the one man power of
Brother Gardner in the Limcklln
club, and those best posted have
predicted that calamity would
result in due time. At the last
meeting both Giveadam Jones and
Waydown Bebee appealed from cer-
tain rulings, and although Brother
Gardner betrayed considerable SUR
prise he held his peace. At the
same meeting the Rev. Penstock
moved the previous question when
there was no question, evidently
itching to be called to order, but
Brother Gardner lodged the crisis
to bIde his time. At the Saturday
night meeting, when the order Of
communications was reached,
the president arose and said:
81 have dun received q commu-
nicashun from Philadelphia iu-
quarin il dis club has any statistics
in regard to chilblains-whar dey
goes to--de gineral effect, mentally
and physically, upon de cull'd race
an so fo'th, and so fo'th. Brudder
Boneset White am do duly elected
medical director Of dis club, an
should like to inquar il he has col
lected any chilblain statistics ?'
The conspirators had been wait
ing for an opportunity of this sort,
and they grasped it at once.
"Sah, / moves TO lay it on de
table y said the Rev. Penstock as
he arose.
Il moves dat it be rejected %
added Brother Bebee.
81 calls fur de prev'us queshunw
shouted Givedam Jones.
Ten seconds later 80 members
were OF thor feet shouting and
gesticulatlng, and the confusion
was unprecedented in the history Of
the club. Brother Gardner rapidly
tumbled to the situation and made
vigorous use Of the gayeI, but with.
out result. lIe saw that heroic
measures would alone save the day,
and he removed his coat and vest
and descended from the rostrum.
At the end of two minutes deep
hush fell upon the meeting. The
Rev. Penstock lay on the floor
under the benches Brother Jones
was in the woodbox, head down and
feet up WaydowD Bebee lay ACROSS
two chairs limp and almost lifeIess;
Shindig Watkins had struck The
hot stove as he passed over IT, and
there was All odor Of burning boot
leg in the hall. As the hush fell
Judge Cabif, Stwdoff Taylor and
Uncle Platt lay in heap on the
floor and seemed to sweetly slum.
Der. After returning to hls station
Brother Gardner pinned up seven
rips ia his shirt, repaired two
breaks in his suspenders and
removed his collar, which was hang
ing by one end. BY that time tho
dust bad settled, and he quietly
observed
"At de Organizashun Of dis club
it was decided to adopt Mr.. Cush.
ing's manuel as our guide. ] has
allus anticipated dat sooner or later
de tactics in dat manual would be
put ~ The test, az I may add dat I
has allus been ready fur de ingur-
Tection which broke out with such
suddenness dis eaycnin. Does any
body want anythin laid on do
table? Does I hear moshun 70
reject? Am anybody back dar by
de stove callin far de queshun or
moviB to amend ?"
Only deep, hurried breathing,
as from q herd Of cattle RUNNING up
hill, made answer to hrs questions.
"My frenfs," resumed tho prosi.
dent in very soft tones, "oberythin
on dis airth has its weak side. Mr..
Cushing manual ON no excepsbnn.
While ] nebbcr met mp wid him 30
ak De queshuR, feel sartrn he
expected all presidin officers to back
mp bis manual as bev done 20.
night an as ] shall contiuer 10 do
as long as ] am president Of dis
club. DE Rev. penstock is ons Of