St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-07-30

a retired clergyman or an alderman.
Certainly | will take the other door,"
thought |, sit is just what we need Tor
our wood shed; nobody but villain
would be rude enough to take the one
with the sign on it when the other
one is offered" / set to work and
Jerked and pulled, but the door would
not bulge. l got a sledge hammer
and pounded, but all to no purpose.
Then | got a telegraph pole to use as
ram, but just as | Was about to use it
the phllanthropist poured q bucket of
water on me from the top story, pre-
sumably to attract my attention, asked
me what the devil | was doing"
and before l could explain [
was landed in the castle for the Geten-
ton OF offenders which the city so gen
erously provides. In vain did explain
to the Judge in the most lucid manner
what had been my intentions towards
that door. 1t cost me SO to get out, and
as passed through the door | heard
some rude person remark, "Got 'em
again" l write this as a warning to
other receptive innocents who always
take everything offered. Be sure first
that it is bona fde offer. have now
come to the conclusion that my phil
anthropist had a contract for feeding
prisoners at so much head.
passed nice green lawn last week,
where several little men and women
were playing their innocent childish
hat 10
were quarreling or teasing for ice
cream or the moon. AS l passed l
heard small girl remark, Il am 60
ing to pretend am a grasshopper
mo, L guess l Will be a dude" Can
some one explain why 4 dude and a
grasShopper were so closely associated
III that childish mind? Children ale so
frank and observant. mayhap there is
some similarity about their construction
which has escaped my golG-rimmed
spectacles,
have heard new theory of charac-
ter reading advanced by a student of
human nature. Scientists have said it
was the mouth that showed the charac-
ter; others insist it is the eyes, others
the nose. etc.; but this student in
Sists that the religious tendencies of a
female are always plainly expressed by
her headgear. l amagine symptoms of
religion in hat-those articles which
from time immemOTiaI have been known
to cause such unseemly language to be
used when the bill is presented TO nus
band or father. The row over the cost
of the apparently harmless trihes has
quite ousted the mother-in Joke from
the front page of the comic paper and
thrust itself boldly forth as a substitute
This human nature student says he is
never mistaken. The difference be-
tween an Episcopalian and Methodist
hat is as marked as the difference be-
tween fish and a chicken. You will
all acknowledge difference there. He
insists that the EpiscOpalian bat is pro-
fusely decorated with ribbons, feathers,
flowers or anything else that is fashion
able, such as live bugs or pigs feet
Next in order comes the Presbyterian,
which is palmer, but is a marvel of
worldly frlvolousneSs compared to the
tight-fitting Baptist bonnet or the quiet
Methodist headgear. Every one knows
of Quaker bODnets and the Salvation
Army idea of millinery art; is it i'm
probable that other denominations have
an unconscious leaning towards certain
styles?
Girls in this country do not care to be
burdened with maid. American girls
are too independent,and would consider
themselves martyrs to fashion if com
PEELED to submit to being dressed and
combed as English girls are. But there
are times when the services of maid
would be very convenient, if only to
look one over and announce that every
thing is in place. | was stopping atone
of the lake hotels for few days;
young lady, whose mother is an invalid,
came down to breakfast alone. She
soon perceived that her appearance
must be peculiar in some way.
1t could not be admiration which
caused the prolonged stares she re-
ceived, because she was sure she could
deteDt covert smile lingering around
the muStacheS of the men. She felt
more and more uncomfortable. Her
hair was combed, she knew. She felt of
her breastpin; that was there. Her shoes
were all right Then she noticed the
chances seemed to be directed particu-
larly to the back of her head. She put
up her hand. when oh, horror there
were two neat little curl papers made of
newspaper snugly curled down in her
neck. She had forgotten themI She
withdrew with burning blush. When
one unlucky individual mentioned the
awful occurrence she snapped out eff [
wish to absorb literature through the
nape of my neck l don't know that it is
any ones affairs" Z. Ii. r.