davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

AN OLD AND WELL~TRIED REMEDY.
Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for over fifty years by
millions of mothers for their children
while teething, with perfect success.
IL sOothes the child, softens the gums
allays all pain, cures wind collie, and is
the best remedy for DiarrhGa. Is
pleasant to the taste. Sold by Drug.
gists In every part OF the world.
Twenty-Five cents a bottle. It's value II
incalculable. BE sure and ask for Mrs
Winslow's Soothing Syrup, and take NJ
other kind.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

TIE Southwest Sentinel is after the
scalp Of eur much beloved superin-
tendent Of schools. The Sentinel de-
mands his removal because he occa-
slonally fails TO tell the truth, be.
couse he iuggles the school funds and
because be Is seudeavoring to deprive
the Silver City district Of its share o.
the public school money.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

Go to Velasco for health, sea air,
and comfort; where ships too deep for
all other Texas ports sail In aud out
with ease; where fruits rlpen earlier
and pay better than in CALIFORNIA;
where the soil is a natural hot-bed,
Fresh vegetables all winter. COldesi
day in three years Is degrees above
zero. Warmest day % degrees. Ne,
lasco offers the best Investments ID
the South. Write the COmmercial
Club, Velasco, Texas.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15
H ASSESSMENT LAW.

There has been a great deal OF mis-
understanding and argument In re-
gard to the new law regarding mining
assessments. Through the kindness
OF Judge Egan the LIRERAL is able to
print an oficial copy OF the law this
week. Persons desiring certificates to
llewIth the clerk car obtain them at
the LIBERAL ONCE.
DEPARTMENT OE THE INTERIOR,
GENERAL LAND OFFICE,
.WAsHlRGToE, ID. O., Nov. 10, 1898. }
Hon. Cas-. y. arico. Acting eovernor. Phoo-
nix. 4ri7oaa:
Sla;-in compliance wluh your tele-
graE. dated NOvcinber u. 1891, l
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

]. ]. VAN ALIEN. whe was appointed
minister TO Italy, because, 1t is said,
he donated fifty thousand hard, Amer
lean dollars TO the committed that had
On charge the election Of Grover Clev-
Gland, has resigned. lie thinks the
disgrace Of being found out as a con
tributor to Growers election is too
much TO be borne, even in a foreign
country.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

When on a visit to Iowa, Mr.. X. Dali
ton, OF Luray, Russell County, Kansas,
called at the Laboratory ofChamberlain
s. Co., Des M0ines, to show them his
six year old boy, whose life had been
saved by Chamberlain's Cough Rem
edy, Il having cured him Of = very
severe attack Of Group. Mr.. Dalton Is
certain chat It saved his boys life and
Is enthusiastic in his praise Of the
Remedy. For sale by Eagle Drug
Store.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

Saturday Deputy Sheriff Howarth of
Wilcox was in town with a horse
thief wanted at Roswell, awaiting the
arrival Of an officer to take him. In
the evening the prisoner went to the
closet and Eowarth supposed he was
watching him, but afterwards found
that his man had slipped. The man
had on a pair OF handouts. He has
not been seer since.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

John Brown was in the city from
Duncan this week accompanying his
brother and wife to Muscatine. Mr..
Thos. Brown is a sufferer from insom-
MIA and came down to this country
recently with the hope that a change
would help him. Unfortunately he
got no relief aud so concluded to re-
turn home.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

THE editor Of the White Oaks Lead
er, Major VIM. Cafrey, died on the
fourth Of the month. The Major was
q veteran Of the late war. He was one
Of the most popular newspaper men in
the territory.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

Ex-G Governor Prince passed through
the city this week or a business trip
to Carlisle, one OF the few camps in
the territory he never had visited.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

Children between FIVE and twelve years of
age half price.
~ 100 phunds of baggage carried free with
each full fare, aid 90 pounds with each half
fare ticket.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1893-12-15

EF-A saving OF Areo cents per day for .
year win provide more than enough money
to purchase q copy OF the International.
Can you afford TO DO without It?
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18

Why You Do Not Read THE ROANOKE TIMES:
BECAUSE you don't know that Roanoke has within ten
years become the third largest city IN Virginia.
Because you don't know that THR TINES Is the ,enr-
sentative organ OF Southwest Virginia.
Because you don't know that TER T1MHs Is the be,.
paper In Virginia outside of Richmort
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
VIRGINIA NOTES.

James Vass, Of Culpeper, has fled an
application for appointment as special
agent OF the treasury az the Seal Islands,
and ID. G. Coon. OF Culpeper county.
wants to be an internal revenue apen.
MIR. John Hattersly died suddenly at
the Albemarle scaps.one quarry yester.
day morning. Deceased was a native
OF New Jersey and was largely inter.
ested in the extensive soapstone works.
situated near North Garden, in Able.
marie county, and OF which ne was man.
ager.
"Oak Grove" the home of the late
Mrs. Fannie L. Chancellor, which was
purchased by Mr.. Yes. Chancellor a
snort time ago, WAGON Wednesday pur.
chased by Mr.. Snyder Bradford, OF
Norfolk. for the sum of $4,000. The
farm is situated about two miles and
a.half from Fredericksburg on the
plank road.
Mr.. Lee W. Wallace, OF Stafford
county, was arrested yesterday by a
deputy United States marshal and
taken to Richmond 20 answer before a
United States commissioner to a charge
OF perjury. The warrant alleges that
IN applying for United States mail ser.
vice, he made oath that he had been q
citizen Of Virginia for ten years pre-.
vious.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
Excursion to Atlantic CITY.

The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad
Company announces low rate excursion
to Atlantic City on Thursday, July 20.
The train service provided for the
occasion will be unexcelled, and the
country through which passengers
travel is without rival in the pic
turesqueness and variety OF it's scenery.
Tickets will be valid for return journey
twelve days, and will permit stop over
at Washington on return journey, afford
ing an opportunity to visit the public
buildings. which are open to visitors free
of charge, and to take trip down to
Mt. Vernon, the tomb of Washington,
as we'll as visit other places OF interest
near Washington. For rates and times
of trains consult appended table:
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
GREAT INDUCEMENTS
TO GO WEST

Salem having been connected with
Roanoke by electric cars, which as
sues cheap and rapid transit to par
ties living in Salem and working in
Roanoke, and as Salem can give in her
different factories employment to q
large number Of young ladies; also
cheap homes either to renters or buyers.
This in connection with her cheap
markets make it very desirable to the
majority of us just now. For further
information address box &c, Salem, Va.
10 law limo
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
All Free.

those who have used DR. Kings New
discovery know its value, and those who
have not, have now the opportunity to
try it free. Call on the advertised drug.
gist and get trial battle. free Send
your name and address to II e. Bucklen
~ Co., Chicago. and get a sample box Of
Dr. Kings New Life Pills free, as we'll
as copy of Guide to Health and House.
hold Instructor, free. All Of which is
guaranteed to do you good and cost you
nothing. Christian & Rarhee
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
Sec the World,s Fair for Eifteen Cents

UPON receipt of your address and
fifteen cents in postage stamps, we will
mail you prepaid our Souvenir Portfolio
OF the Worlds Columbian Exposition,
the regular price is fifty cents, but as
we went you to have one, we make the
price normal. You will find it work
OF art and thing to be priced. 1t con-
talns full page views Of the great build
1ngs, with description of same, and is
executed in highest style Of art. If not
satisfied with it, after you get it, we
will refund the stamps and let you keep
the book. Address Il. E. BucKLEN 4
Co., Chicago. III.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18

Correspondingly low rates from other
stations. Pullman buffet parlor car
from Stanton to Philadelphia on after.
noon train. For more detailed informa-
ton apply to c. E. Dudrow, travelling
passen ger agent, Winchester. Va.
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
BUILDING ASSOCIATIONS.
A FIRST-ClASS INVESTMENT

We offer the best security in the city
and pay semi-annual dividends.
AS "A SAVIN G S 3 a NJ K
this institution offers special induce
ments. Paid up shares $50 each. In
stalment shares 81 per month. Shares
may be subscribed for at any time. For
further inform alton address
THE PEOPLES PERPETUAL LOAN
AND BUILDING ASSOCIATION.
VIM. r. WINCH,
Secretary and Treasurer.
Masonic Temple jana tt
The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-07-18
Bucklen,a Arnica sal.e

IHE pest salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulsers, salt rheum, fever
Sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains,
corns and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles or no pay required.
is guaranteed to give perfect salts.
faction or money refunded. Price. o.
cents per box. For sale by Christian &.
Barbee.
w. p. DROP, druggist, Springfield,
Mass, writes Japanese Pile Cure has
cured lady. years afflicted; could no,
walk half mile in last 3 years; now
walks any distance" Sold by Christian
IL Barbee.
EAGLE dairy restaurant and ice cream
Parlor, IA Salsm avenue. best tableser.
vice in the city. Breakfast 25 cents;
dinner, 35 cents; supper, rs. Parties
served G. y. LUKENs, proprietor.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
SAVED FOR AN OBJECT.

He Was the Only Person Who Could Raise
Any Cash.
Good mawnin, sab, good mawnin!' he
saluted as he came up the hotel steps and
removed his hat and bowed very low. 81
war Jest walkin round dis mawnin to see
who was on de Lawd's SIDE"
'How do you mean?" asked.
"Why, sab, our meetin house got bowed
away by cyclone last month, an Pze col
lectin up to build anodder. Yes, sab, cy-
clone dun took it right off de face of de
airth."
SIS this the first timer"
Eyes, sab. Dat meetin house dun es-
capped all de odder cyclones befo' dis"
did you see the building go?"
81 did, sab. Twas right dar at de time,
bress de Lawd! Dat was de moas' power
full sight yo' cher did see in all yo' life. It
was long in de AFTERNOON, sab. went ober
to de meetin house to git my hymnbook.
was in dar when the cyclone riz up. She
cum mighty sudden, sab. heard a sorter
howl, like a dawg fast in defense. Den
Oar was a groaning, like somebody had
fell down stars an busted hisself. Den
dar was whoop, like as if eberybody in
town had got drunk an was prancin
around"
And then she struck"
''She did, sab. knowed what was cum
in, kase I'ze seed bout five cyclones in my
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14


'My name is Carter. spell it with c.
live in Darby county, this state My OBJ
ject is to see if you are Sam Donkers."
''Sam Donkers be hangedl never heard
of him in all my life, and haven't been in
Darby county in a dozen years!'
Didn't you sell fannin mills?"
mo, STRIP
Didn't you use to stop at my house?"
"Not by a long shot,"
"And you didn't run away with my wife
Eliza the 10Th of July year ago?"
''You blamed foolp' shouted the big man
as he seized him and slammed him around,
''but what sort of a game are you trying to
work on me?"
Fire! Policel Lemme gov' yelled the
redheaded man.
Explain yourself before throw you out
of the window"
"Waal, a fannin mill peddler named Sam
Donkers run off with my wife, and thort
you was the man. guess Pm mistaken"
Il know you are. Now, sir, you sit down
and behave yourself, or Twill not be re-
sponsible for results"
The redheaded man sat down and pinned
up the rips in his coat and smoothed down
his hair and got his breath back. Then he
turned to me with:
DO you know him?''
mo"
eff it wasn't right here, I'd lick himl The
idea of his being SO mighty techy about
things! When a mans wife runs away,
hain't he got perfect right to ask about
her? Has an ole rhinosceros like him any
right to choke me off? Even if he was Sam
Donkers, and I'll be gaul burned if I don't
believe he is, all I was going to do was to
ask if Eliza was well and wanted the pair
of calfskin shoes she left behind when she
dug out!''
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14

he SEIZED OUR RISING YOUNG HUMoR1sT.
right here is good place to give notice that
The KICKER has no use for funny man.
There are lots Of funny things happening
around here, and most of our people enjoy
joke, but at the same time we are set il
our ways. We shall now and then write
and publish something funny, but for three
or four days after the paper comes out we
shall have our two guns lying where they
can be grabbed at a seconds notice. The
joke may be received all right and bring in
several invitations to go out and take some
thing, Or it may be received all wrong, and
result in half dozen calls from parties
who shoot right and left handed.
ONE ON Us.-We had telephone mes
sage from Clinch Valley last Tuesday to the
effect that the people of that town were 60
ing to hold'a public meeting on the subject
of admitting Arizona to statehood, and that
we We're wanted as one of the speakers
We therefore gayly saddled our cayuse, put
our speech in our pocket and started out.
Just as we were ready to CO. the city clerk
sent over to borrow our Office dictionary to
see how the word "eventuate'' was spelled,
and in fooling around we forgot to strap
ON our guns We were two miles out of
cluded to trust to the speed of our mule in
very foolish conclusion on our part.
We reached the crossing of Spike creek
without incident, but while ascending the
bank on the north side critter stepped out
from behind bush, leveled two guns at
us and ordered us to get down. We
held our arms above our head while he
t11r cd oEotS 70
had almost dollar in cash, but the avari-
cious critter was disappointed and indig
nant and made some awful threats. We
tried to put in Sc watch to him at $50, but
he wouldn't have it. He was about to let
us off, when he came across that speech.
He was one of the few men in this territory
who are opposed to admission, and of
course he wanted to make it as hot as pos
sible for u.s. While he sat on rock with a
gun in either hand and one of our best
cigars in his mouth, we were compelled to
deliver the speech. He frequently inter-
rupted us to call us liar and scoundrel,
but never to applaud.
The speech is timed for 20 minutes, and
the unfeeling scoundrel insisted on our re-
peating it three times over. While he
thought he knew us as editor of The KICK
Err he wasn't quite sure, and it is needless
to say we lied about it and claimed to run a
poker room. We returned home instead
of going to Clinch Valley. We have got
our affairs in shape to leave the office for
four or five days, and tomorrow we start
out. If that wretched apology for high
way robber is in Arizona, we mean to find
him. The dignity of journalism demands
that his scalp ornament our Office looking
glass, and that his ears find their way into
the jar of alcohol wherein are preserved
various kindred relics
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14

ODE NEXT MINT 1T WAS CLAIR ACROSS DE
RIBBER."
time. run around to de back eand Of de
buildin an braced up agin it wild all my
might, but shoo!'
ut went, did it?"
"Jest didn't mind me nohow, sab. De
cyclone picked dat meetin house right up
same as yo' would lift single, an de next
mint it was cl'ar across de ribber an all
smashed to squash"
''And weren't you hurt?"
mo, sab. Nebber got a scratch"
"How do you account for that?"
providence, sah-jest Providence, sab.
was saved dat might collect up money
fur anodder meetin house."
''That's rather curious. If you had been
killed, somebody else could have collected,
couldn't they?"
''Dey could, sab, but I'ze de only pusson
around yere who cher dun collected up a
dollar fur de Lawd an turned in ober seb-
enty-five cents of itp'
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14

.Hain't your name Samuel Donkersls
"No, sir. =
Didn't used to drive span Of gray
horses to a red wagon and play on the fid-
.le?"
Look here, sir, but what are you trying
get at?" demanded the big man as he
Id aside his book.
Il thoro / knowed you."
"Rut you are mistaken about it. don't
GENE mber that I ever saw your face be-
fore"
Say, you are either Sam Donkers or his
twin brotherp' chuckled the redheaded
man.
II am neither one, sir!"
Don't seem as if my eyes could deceive
me-same eyes, mouth, nose and gold film
in your teeth. I'd swear you was Sam Dom
kers."
Whore you, sir, and what is your OBJ
ject in annoying me?" shouted the portly
man as he stood up and looked very fierce.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
NOT Mr.. DONKERS.

Mistaken.
In the seat in front of me was short,
redheaded man, and in the one across the
aisle was large, portly man. shouldn't
have paid any attention to either but for
the actions Of the redheaded man, who
kept his gaze on the other one and seemed
to be greatly tickled about something. He
finally rose up and stepped across to the
portly man and said:
'.Mebbe I'm mistaken. but I think not.
Didn't you used to sell fannin mills in
Darby county,"
mo. sir" briefly replied the other.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
An American Fable.

THE BEAR, THE BEES AND THE wooDMAN.
On a certain occasion, as Bruin was TAX
ing walk in the forest. he elevated hisleft
eye just in time to see number Of bees
passing into hole in q tree about 20 feet
above the ground. His serene countenance
was Instantly beautifed by grin Of de-
light, and he sat up and pulled his ear and
whispered to himself: 'Egadl old boy, but
luck has come your way this timei You
didn't make much fooling with that Porcu-
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
NO PLACE TO JOKE.
THE EDITOR or THE KICKER THINKS
A FUNNY MAN is OUT OF PLACE.

The Rising EumOTlsI ~ no came from COL
orado to Be Real Funny Runs Up Against
snag the First Thing-A Doubtful Ex-
pertinent.
copyright, 1893, by Charles B. Lcwis.l
OUR FUNNY MANIFEST week a young
man came along here who claimed to have
been the funny man on a Colorado paper
for two or three years. but had lost his job
on account of the suspension Of the paper
He was willing to work cheap in order to
get new start, and we took him on trial
for a week at IS. AS we had always under
stood that funny man couldn't be held
down like other newspaper folks, we told
this chap to slash around on his own hook
and pick up his fun wherever he could find
it. AS he didn't look like tenderfoot, we
didn't think it necessary to post him on the
eccentricities of any of our leading cit
liens. Old Bill jackson, who operates the
ferry across the Little Colorado river, is in
variably picked up by strangers as comical
cuss His mouth always wears grin, and
there is bland and jokeful look from the
end of his nose to the roots of his hair.
These things are deceptive, however. Ten
years ago Old Bill brought his wife out
here from Illinois at an expense of $50, and
she ran off with a half breed inside Of q
week. He's been mad ever since, and we
who know him best would as soon think of
tickling grizzly under the fore leg as to
joke with the ferryman.
Our funny man had got sight of old
Bill and estimated that he would pan out
about thousand jokes. He went down
to seq him and found him asleep on the
bank of the river. The funny man awoke
him by tickling him with straw and
whispering "Ratsr' in his ears. The can
tankerous old critter got up and seized
our rising young humorist and flung him
up and flung him down and pitched him
around and walked on him till he couldn't
have been worse off if herd of a thousand
mules had passed over him. When we got
possession of the body, it was supposed to
be lifeless, but after four hours hard work
the doctors famed up a little flame, and to-
day the young man lives, though he is not
conscious. 1t will be six weeks at the least
before he can get out of bed, and probably
six more before we can ship him off to
some other paper wanting a funny man.
We shall be out of pocket at least s1c0, and
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
He Knew.

''There's one thing" said the new board
er emphatically, that will have to be set
tied before make up my mind to remain
with you"
''And what is that?" inquired the land
lady anxiously. The new boarder paid a
high price and paid it promptly.
1.-THE Coffee" was his response.-Buffalo
Courier,
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
Hard to Please.

Polite Tramp Madam, may inquire
what variety of fowl this is?
Lady of the House-That is Plymouth
Rock.
Polite Tramp-Er-I thought so. Have
you any stone crushers on the premises?-
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
She Wanted to Know.

She Wanted to Know.
She boarded the train at a flag station
and took the seat ahead of me. and when
the conductor came for her ticket she mild
ly inquired:
Conductor, does this train ever run off
the track?"
Hardly ever, ma'am," he replied as he
winked at me.
but it does sometimes?"
''Yes'm, sometimes
"You don't know whether it will run off
today or not?"
'sNo, ma'am. If we strike COW, it prob
ably will"
about where might you strike COW, if
you strike one today?" she persisted.
"Well, pretty soon after we pass Black
River, ma'am," replied the official as he
went away with broad grin on his face.
Black River was 20 miles down the road.
The woman sat very prim and erect until
we reached the town and left it. Then she
turned to me with:
Excuse me, but that was Black River,
wasn't it?"
"Yes'm."
Sand if we strike COW it will be pretty
soon, won't it?"
''That's what the conductor said"
"Yes, and he ought to know. There's a
COW out there now, and suppose we ought
to get ready for the accident"
She got a brace for her feet, grabbed the
railing of her seat, and while the fat man
across the aisle and I were exchanging
winks and mods and fattering ourselves
that we knew thing or two there was a
bump, the front end of the coach reared up,
and next moment it lurched to the right
and went off the rails and slid down an en-
bankment and brought up in a marsh
There were % of us in that car, and every
single one except the woman in the seat
ahead suffered severe bruises or broken
bones. The entire train went off, and there
were IL killed and about 80 seriously in
jured. The cause of the mishap was an old
spotted COW, which had got fast in a cattle
guard. After we had been helped out by
way of the windows, 1 found the woman
calmly seated on the grass, and she was
just as calmly saying to weeping female
beside her:
Il am sorry your are hurt, but you should
have asked the conductor where we were
going to strike COW and so have been pre-
pared for it, NJ. QUAD.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-09-14
Well Qualified.

'Jones-I think my wife would make a
first rate member of congress.
Jones' Friend-Why?
Jones-Because she talks SO easily and so
long on the money question. Free
Press.