The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-05-02
MY AUNT'S EARRINGS


thorough contempt for probability and
the police. The first thing you should
do when crime has been committed, as
l often said to Uncle Poffkins, is to sus-
pect the most unlikely man as being the
criminal
That was the course l adopted when
Aunt Poffkins' earrings were stolen. II
was in the morning when the theft was
discovered. Aunt came down late and
ran into the room where Uncle Poffkins,
Dora and were breakfasting. My aunt
bore traces of strong agitation, and she
had forgotten her cap.
my earringsp she cried. They are
gone-they are stolenr'
'God bless my soulI' exclaimed Uncle
Poffhns, dropping his teacup as if he had
been shot and leaping up with a yell Of
pain. He said the yell was attributed to
the heat of the tea, which was trickling
down his legs.
My aunt explained The earrings were
kept wrapped in cotton wool in jewel
box on her dressing table. The box was
never locked and the housemaid had ac-
cess to the room. The girl had only
been in the house a week and was known
to have beau. My aunt and cousin at
for policeman, who searched her trunk
and found nothing, of course. / could
have told them that.
Meanwhile L kept my eye on Uncle
Pofkins. He was the one person who
could have no motive whatever in steal
ing the earrings. He was very rich,
most respectable and extremely slow
and noisy in his movements. Moreover,
my aunt would have given him the ear
rings at any moment if he had asked for
them. Evidently he was the last man to
attract suspicion. Accordingly watched
Uncle Pofkins closely.
We passed week Of excitement. The
police were running out and in. Dora
cross examined the housemaid incessant-
ly. Aunt Poffkins went abroad weeping
and reminding every one she met that
the earrings were a present from Uncle
Poffkins on the occasion of their engage
ment.
My uncle himself affected to make
light of the matter and went so far as
loudly and ostentatiously to curse the
earrings. He was wrong if he thought
he could put me off the scent by that
clumsy maneuver. l never left him
alone. tracked him to the city, hung
about ali the morning, Swallowed him
when he went to lunch, when he re-
turned, when he crossed over to the ex-
change.
Unknown to him was on his bus
inside if he rode on the top, and on top
when it rained and he slowed himself
away inside. He never escaped me ex-
cept when he was in his Office. At last,
after 10 days weary chasing, l was re-
warded. need not say that the police
had discovered nothing. The house was
still topsy turvy and my aunt subject to
intermittent Mysteries.
That wronged creature, the house
maid, did her work with a mop in one
hand and in the other a handkerchief,
wet with innocent tears. But to return
to Uncle Poffkins. The tenth day after
the earrings had disappeared, as he was
brushing his hat before leaving the
house and looking at my aunts tear
believed visage, his conscience smote
him. and he so far forgot himself as to
exclaim audibly:
I'm blamed if can stand this any
longerr' The folly of the man was in
credible. had him nowi In an instant
was after him. He took bus, 1 took
a cab, and we started for the city. Now
came the odd thing-Uncle Poffkins
disappeared.
How it happened do not know, but
when the bus pulled mp to the bank
Uncle Poffkins was not to be seen. l
questioned the conductor, but he had
evidently been bribed and told me very
rudely that he had something better to
do than answer my riddles. He drove
on, and ! was left for the first time at
fault
1t was evening before 1 saw Uncle
Poffkins. / was going home III very
disconsolate state, when, about 200 yards
from our gate, espied him ahead of me.
Quickening my pace, I stealthily APP
preached him. He opened the gate and
passed in; noiselessly followed him.
A little farther on, sheltered by the
shrubbery, he stopped, and after
stealthy glance toward the house took
from his coat pocket a small morocco
case. Istood ON tiptoe just behind, and
with mingled horror and satisfaction as
i looked over his shoulder l saw the
earringsl was right. Uncle Poffkins
sighed.
'.Shall L give 'em to her or not!' he
said to himself. Its rank waste. Still,
it will keep her quiet" / watched the
struggle between his good and his evil
angel. Clearly the good angel had tri-
umphed so far as TO bring the earrings
within 80 yards of Aunt Poffkins, but
nov, came the rug uS var. 1t was severe,
and it ended i'll the victory of evil.
Uncle Poffkins, shutting the case with I.
snap, exclaimed:
Its all blamed nonsense! III take
EN- back to Abraham tomorrow. Apra-
ham no doubt was the receiver, Tor my
uncle went on in a satisfied tone:
"He'n make 10 trouble about taking
'ern." He was putting the case into his
pocket when my feeling overcame me-
Respect for ones elderly relatives Is a
praiseworthy feeling, but it must not be
allowed to override higher duties.
flung myself on Uncle Poffkins, crying:
Surrender You cannot escape me-
Nv uncle fell heavily on the gravel path
fell heavily on the top of him and pin
toned his arms to the ground.
TOM he exclaimed, what the mis-
chief-are you drunk
at is useless, sir" began, Ito affect
ign"- I had reached this point when
was violently collared from behind, lift
ed bodily off my uncle's chest, where
had been sitting, and was deposited on
grass plat, while deep voice said IN my
ears:
.Now. then. young man. tprn IL up