davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
business Got Brisk

Meyer, the confectioner, stood behind
his counter and gazed sadly at the hug
pile of apple tarts which were beginning
to grow stale, for during the last few days
business had been unaccountably slack.
Suddenly he bethought himself of plan.
Sitting down at his desk he wrote as
follows:
Genuine Offer of Marriages. young
man of agreeable exterior and ample
means desires to form the acquaintance
of young lady with view to make her
his partner for life. Beauty and wealth
not so much an object as a good
character and amiable disposition.
Young ladies' who may feel inclin-
ed to cast their lot are hereby requested
to call at Michael Meyers confectionery
establishment this afternoon at o'clock,
and as recognition eat an apple tart.
A few minutes after the whole stock
of apple tarts were cleared out.-Yankee
Blade.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Things Worth Rendering.

When you feel kind of goneness about
the stomach it is a sign that your food
does not sit we'll and that you are about
to have fit of indigestion.
When you begin to feel nervous and
are unable to sit still comfortably; when
your clothes suddenly seem to lose their
fit and become too tight in places the fit
of indigestion is surely upon you.
When this ct of indigestion is repeated
from day to day it finally resolves itself
into dyspepsia.
Remember that three to ten Of Brand
reth's Pills will cure the worst case of indi-
gestion or dyspepsia, or both, and that a
regular course Of them, say two every
night for week or ten days, will act as
preventive of either complaint.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
The Remedy.


When the tramp approached the man
he proposed to mulct in any sum from
ono cent upward, it was from the wind
ward and the man noticed the odor of
liquor.
What do you want with it! asked the
man.
I'm hungry, sir.
And thirsty?
No, sir.
You must have had drink?
Dim not utterly unfortunate, sir, said
the tramp with faint smile.
The man was not pleased.
I guess you don't get the nickel, he
said. No man need starve if he stays
sober.
know that, sir, whined the tramp, but
isn't the remedy worse than the disease!
and the man frowned on the tramp and
retained the nickel until he reached a
saloon, where he blew it in on glass of
alleged hop extract for himself Detroit
Free Press.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
His Courage Failed.

A pallid youth with high forehead stood
in the midst of group of men whose wild
eyes and crumpled shirt bosoms bespoke a
devotion to the principle of liberty to exist
without labor.
"Dost thou swear"--
The pallid youth was holding his right
hand aloft and looking very solemn.
ITO resist despotic power SO far as in
thee lies and to destroy tyrants at every
opportunity. according to the principles of
anarchy"
The youth was silent Great drops of
perspiration stood upon his brow, and his
limbs trembled beneath him.
Speak" they commanded.
"Gentlemen''--
His voice was tremulous, but very ear
nest.
~ cannot take that vow. My father
is the janitor in fiat, and my mind abhors
the crime of parricide."
With averted glance and heaving breast
he NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Tribune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

There were two wanderers from the
land of the harp and the shamrock, and
CHANGED had led them into this part of
Massachusetts. They we're on foot. One
of them could not read at all; the other
could read only sufficiently we'll to be
proud of airing his Accomplishments be-
fore his companion. Their journeyings
had brought them into the neighborhood
of Manchester by-the-Sea.
Presently they encountered sign post.
Mike stopped to read it and Pat stopped
to hear him.
Now the sign was very simple and it
said, Mancheste Seven Miles, but it
seemed to bother Mike and he looked puz-
zled. Pat waited until his patience gave
out.
What does it say he demanded.
Mon-chased- her, returned Mike slowly.
Mon chased her siven moiles.
Pat picked up his bundle in disgust.
Sure, he remarked, if he wanted her
that bad OF hope to Hivin he got her.
Boston Budget.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

A gentleman called one day at house on
a question of business, and, in order to
make himself friendly with all concerned,
talked agreeably with the children, and
asked them several questions. He at last
turned to bright little boy, and with a
winning smile, said:
"And what are you going to be, my man,
when you grow up?"
The answer came readily, "Oh, I'm going
to be trustee, for ever since papa has been
trustee we have had ever so much better
things for dinner "-Tit-Bits
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Quarrying . Monolith.

A fragment of bas-relief discovered in
Egypt has shown how the obelisks and
other large monoliths were transported
from the quarry to their site. The stone is
depicted upright on great galley or ves-
sel; which is being lowed by number OF
small boats alongside. The method OF
detaching monolith from the mother rock
is also explained by a semidetached block
in one Of the quarries OF Syene. After hav-
ing been hewn clear on three sides, deep
groove was cut into the side still attached
to the rock, and the holes were pierced, into
which wooden pegs were driven. The pegs
were then wet, and the wood in swelling
broke off the monolith from the quarry
st. Louis Republic.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Ntar Of the south.

Go to velasco for health, sea air, and
comfort; whore ships too deep for all
other Texas ports sail in and out with
ease; where fruits ripen earlier and pay
better than in California, where the soil
is q natural hot-bed. Fresh vegetables
all winter. Coolest day in three years rs
degrees above zero. Warmest day 90 do
grees. Velasco offers the best invest
ments in the south. Write the CONNER.
cial club, velasco Texas.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Mr.. W. M. Terry, who has been in the
drug business at Elkton, KY, for the
past twelve years, says: "Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy gives better satisfaction
than any other cough medicine / have
ever sold" There is goods reason for
this. No other will cure cold SO quickly;
no other is so certain a preventive and
cure for Group; no other affords 80 much
relief in cases Of whooping. cough. For
sale by A. G. ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
you CAN ESCAPE

just about one
half tn e ills
that flesh is heir
to, by being
ready for them.
When you feel
dull, languid,
"out of sorts "
&c n e rally
then you may
know tQaJ some
lof tn m are
coming. Don't
let them get
any further.
Brace tn e
system up with
Doctor Pierce's
Golden Medical
Discovery.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
A Tride Mixed,

A worthy materfamilias, whose children
were troubled with severe coughs, wrote to
ask the editor of paper to insert remedy
under the heading of "Answers to Core
spondents" On looking over the paper q
few days afterward she found the follow
ing answer marked with her initials:
ST they are not too young, peel them
carefully, steep them in boiling water with
plenty of salt and keep them eight days in
brine",
The subeditor had mistaken the column
and substituted for the desired remedy q
recipe for picking onions. Petit Jour
nal.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
His Time Valuable.

Mr.. Irving tells story of the "boots"
at a country hotel whore he was staying, to
whom he gave an order for the play.
Come and see the piece, Tom, said Irv-
ing.
At the theater?
Yes, said Irving. Here is an order for
you.
The next day Irving said: Well, Tom,
did you like the play!
Oh, yes, said the shoots" in a dubious
kind Of away, but who is. to pay me T or
my time. --Wagonet.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
His Ealing Too.

II didn't like your cake very well to-
night" remarked Gus de Smith to his
landlady.
."No'" queried she. "What was the mat
ter with it?"
1T seemed to me it was little short"
II have noticed the same failing in you,
MIR. de Smith," was the terse reply. And
Dingley borrowed enough from his friends
to pay something on account.-Texas Sift-
ings.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Contrasts.

She-You men are incapable Of writing q
letter unless you have got proper desk, a
decent chair, a blotting pad and all the rest
Of it.
He-And you women may have writing
desk fitted up with every requisite, and yet
you will squat down on low stool and
write on the back of an old book.-Unter
haltungsblatt
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
The Alameda.

new and very attractive resort in the
charming Mesilla valley, one mile from
Las Cruces, N. NJ. Thoroughly comfort
able and home-like. Strictly first-class
in every respect. The choicest of fresh
fruits at all seasons and Jersey milk and
cream speciality. Livery furnished at
reasonable rates. Terms $40 to 81 per
week. For further particulars, address
]. K. LIVINGSTON,
Las Cruces, N. M.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Mr.. Moore, the postmaster at Bradshaw,
Va, after reading an advertisement of
Chamberlain's Collie Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy, concluded to try small bottle
of it. He says: "I.used it in two cases
for colo and three for diarrhea with per-
feet satisfaction. have handled and
used great deal of patent medicine but
never tried any that have as good results
as this" For sale by A. G. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Seventy five Commissions A Thrilling
Fxperience.

There is no one but at some period in
life has an experience that stands out
prominently beyond all others. Such is
the case of John B. Collins, of Romeo,
Mich, who says: From September to
January, before using Nervine, had at
least seventy-fve commissions. After
three months use I have no more at
tacks." DR.. Miles Restorative Nervine
also cures nervous prostration, headache,
poor memory, dizziness, neuralgia, ETC.,
and builds up the body. Mrs. J. R. Mil
Ter, of Valparaiso, Ind, and j. R. Taylor,
of Logansport, Ind, each gained twenty
pounds of flesh by taking it. Sold by A.
G. ireland jrr on guarantee. Get the
Doctors book, free, It.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

The Best Plaster.-Dampen piece Of
flannel with Chamberlain's Pain Balm
and bind it on over the seat of pain. 1t
is better than any plaster. When the
lungs are sore such an application on the
chest and another on the back, between
the shoulder blades, will often prevent
pneumonia. There is nothing so good
for a lame back or pain in the side. A
sore throat can nearly always be cured
in one night by applying a flannel band
age dampened with Pain Balm, so cent
bottles for sale by A. @. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Astonishing Fnct, Suspected by Con
paratlvely Few.

Astonishing Fact, Suspected by Con
paratively Few.
Things that embody the most truth are
frequently among the last to be realized.
Incredible as it may seem one in four has
weak or diseased heart, the early
symptoms of which are, short breath OPP
Ing, pain in left side, smothering, swollen
ankles, dropsy, wind in stomach, etc.
LetiLogan, Buchanan, Mich, suffered
from heart disease thirty years. Two
bottles Of DR.. Miles Heart Cure cured
him. HChs effect Of your Nev Heart Cure
10 wonderful" Mrs. Eva Dresser, Nc
Gregor, Iowa. This favorite remedy IL
sold by A. 9. Ireland jr, on q guarantee
for the Doctcrs book, "Nsw and Startling
Facts," tree.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Rusiness Notice.

Frank Masterson has fitted up his
cabinet maker and carpenter shop, on
corner opposite Boletin Popular Office on
Water street. He is prepared to do all
kinds Of upholstering, cabinet making
and general, carpenter work, with neat
ness and dispatch, and solicits the public
patronage, II. you have any extra nice
OF difficult work to do, give him call.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
A Remarkable Case.

Hicks-I saw Upper just now. What an
interesting talker he is!
Wicks-You may we'll say SO. Why, he
was in BARRIERS shop getting shaved the
other day, and he SO charmed the barber by
his conversation that the fellow actually
let him go without asking him if he'd have
a shampoo!-Boston Transcript.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
The Artful Maid.

''He doesn't care for girls" said Nell;
sob, no;" asserted charming Belle,
Said Sue, "I'll bet an ice cream treat
That I can bring him to my feet"
That night her trap the maiden set,
And easily she won her bet;
The guileless youth aside she drew
And said to him, "Please tie my shoe,''
He with the maids request complied,
Knelt and the shoestring quickly tied.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Niles Nerve Il Liver Pills.

Act on new principle-regulating the
liver, stomach and bowels through the
nerves: new discovery. DR.. Miles
pills speedily cure billiousness, bad taste
.orpid liver, piles, constipation. I'm
equaled for men, woman, children. Small
est mildest, surest, 50 doses 25 cts. Sam.
pies Free, at A. G. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Jenkins-How are you getting along
with your literary workf
Riterson-Oh, I'iu lucky. have never
lost manuscript yet. Every one have
sent off has come back to me in as good
shape as sent it.-Detroit Free Press.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Are your children sub ect to Group? If
so, you should never be without bottle
of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. It is a
certain cure for Group, and has never
been known to fail. If given freely as
soon as the croupy cough appears it will
prevent tbs attack. 1t is the sole reliance
with thousands of mothers who have
croupy children, and never disappoints
them. There is no danger in giving this
Remedy in large and frequent doses, as it
contains nothing injurious. 30 cent
bottles for sale by A. 9. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
or Two Evils.

Toodles-Which would you rather, Moo
dies, seem to be, bigger fool than you
are or be bigger fool than you seem!
Noodles-I'd rather seem to be big
ger fool than I'm. !,
Toodles-That's impossible.
Noodles-No. I--er-would rather be
q bigger fool than seem.
Toodles-That's impossible Boston
Courier.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
The Advantage.

They met on the street and the lady
was so sure she knew him, that she stop
ped and spoke to him.
II beg your pardon" he said icily, II
think you have the advantage of me, l
don't know YOU"
Then she froze. !.
II think not" she replied, sin view OF
the fact that I know you and you do not
know me-" and she sailed away as red as
q scarlatina.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
A Mothers SOlicitude.

"Where are you going, JOHNNY Don't
you see how it is rainingp"
"Yes'm. Pm going in swimming"
"Going in swimmingl Why, you foolish
boy, you'll get yourself ringing wet if you
20 in swimming in such shower as this
Wait till the rains over. "-Boston Courier.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Heredity.

"Yaas," said Cholly, my mother was
Won Danderbeck."
"Dear me-" rejoined Trotter In tone Of
sympathy, that must worry you awfully'
May ask, did she die Of its'-Life. 40
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Little vegetable health producers: De
Wits Little Early Risers cure malarious
disorders and regulate the stomach and
bowels, which prevents headache and
dizziness. New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

All the talk in the world will not con-
vince you SO quickly as one trial of De
Wits Witch Hazel Salve for scalds,
burns, bruises, skin affections and piles.
New Mexico Drug Store
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Broken Of.

II thought you wuz such good friends
with him."
''There wuz time when fairly iderlzed
the ground he walked. on, int when he
kicked my dog that ended it. We amt
smoke sipce,"-Life.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

If you can afford to be annoyed by sick
headache and constipation, don't use De
Wits Little Risers, for these little pills
will cure them. New. Mexico Drug Store
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Mother.-I notice, Martha, when Mr..
Smith calls on you, you generally turn the
gas low. Do you do it for economy's sakei
Daughter-No, mother, tor Mr., Smiths
sake. Yankee Blade.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

We could not improve the quality if
paid doubleth price. Dc Wits Witch
Hazel Salve is the best Salve that ex-
perience can produce, or that money can
buy. New Mexico Drug Store. Z.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Ignorance of the merits of De Wits
Little Early Risers is misfortune. These
little pills regulate the liver, cure head
ache, dyspepsia, bad breath, constipation
and bilIiOusness. New Mexico Drug Store
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
The Daily New Mexican
SHOOTING STARS.

Clever In Seeming SO.
The cleverness some people link
With what they're doing ever
Is all In making others think
That they are clever.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

A Question in Theology.
Mamma Yes, my child, we shall know
each other in heaven.
Fannie But, mamma, can We make be-
lieve We ore out when they call'-Texas
SiftinRs.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Net the Kind He Needed.

O'Lally--Oi have come = offer yer .
drap az consolation this marning Dennis.
Hallahan newly made widower) Tank
yes, O'Lally! Tis just in tonne; the last
Az moline is gone. Be it Scotch or Ryel
Puck.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
A Good Plan.

Visitor lat Chicago restaurant)-This
bill Of fare IL In French.
Waiter-Yes, sab, but the prices is in
English, sah Mos folks goes by dem
New York Weekly.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Our word describes it-"perfection.'
We refer to De Wits Witch Hazel Salve
cures obstinate sores, burns, skin diseases
and is a we'll known cure for piles. New
Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
Practical Scientists.

George-Now for every shooting star to
night I shall exact a kiss.
Ethel-But, George, it's so cloudy to-
night we can't see them. =
George-We don't need to. Astronomers
calculate that 10 million odd stars fall
every night, and it would be a waste OF
valuable time for, US to watch for
them. (And they don't.)-Judge.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
stood aPowerf,

stood a Powerful Competition.
Visitor I've just come from Niagara
Falls.
Ardent ChicagoanG Great guns! Has
that been running during the Worlds
Fair? @
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures piles.
De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures burns.
De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures sores.
De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures ulcers.
New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

She Knew what was the Matter.
Maude (appropos of nothing)-I wish
! were dead!
Elaine-Who is he?
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
All Hone Lost.

shams proposed to Miss slimpurse las
night.
Did she give him the least hope?
No. She accepted him.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07
when Your Eye strikes This stop
and Read IL.

The famous hot springs OF Arkansas,
world renowned for their health qualities,
and asa health and pleasure resort, can
be reached quickly in Pullman buffet
sleeping cars from Denver, Colorado
Springs and Pueblo via the Missouri Pa
cinc railway. Sufferers Of "la grippe" in
fiuenxa, asthma aud kindred diseases can
obtain relief by a visit to this famous
sanitarium.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-11-07

Kep0rtee in the Stock Barns.
The Porker Tin the fat-stock pavilion
Il walked off with the first prize!
The Calf-That's because you're hog.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-06-16
STILL UiTTING 1T PETERSON,

THE GRANr JURY TAKING RECESS. AND POLL
TICIANs PECoMING HOPEFUL.
The suspense about the results Of the Grand
Jurys inquiry into Passaic County affairs is likely
to continue for more than week. Technically
speaking none of the county officials and others
whose names are mentioned have been indicted,
hut il IL conceded that the Grand Jury has voted
TO indict large number OF men, and has instructed
the pro .ecutor TO draw up the bills. Meanwhile
the Grand Jury Is taking IA recess, and II is not
thought likely that they will recOnvenc 10 pass
upon the indictments this week, the prosecutor
las several engagements the State courts this
week, and Judge Dixon will not be in Paterson
until week from tomorrow unless specially sum-
moncd This long recess gives rise 10 speculation
whether the Grand Jury may not reconsider some
of the votes to indict certain men by the time
the bulls ready.
The latest story is that certain architect did
some effective "sQueang" in regird 10 the trans
actions connected with awarding the plans for tho
proposed now court house One chosen frecholder
las cen display ng roll Of bank-noes and orerin:
10 bet that there would he moro indictments
against him than any other man in the county.
There are also some absurd stories circulated.
One of these is to the effect that every member of
the Paterson Centennial last July has been in
dictcd, because the county Illegally appropriated
money TO help the celebration. 1t is conceded
that some indictments have been voted tor the
Illegal expenditure of part of this fund, but as u
matter Of fact Prosecutor Gourley himself was
a member of the Centennial Committee, and this
disposcs Of that portion of the rumor.