The Helena independent., 1893-12-07
IN THE JUSTICE COURT.
"His Honor" Delivers an Exhaust.
i've Opinion in Most I'M
pressive Style.
Attempt to Quash an Indictment
Because OF Misspelled
Word.
Tho Justice Whose Chief Aim 1t IL to
Put tho "Korbosh" on Crime on
Appearance.

Life has been lamenta Bile failure to tn
man who has not prowled around the pre-
cinct judicial gristmill on grinding day
and seen iniquity "stomped on" and jus
tice crowned queen Of the May.
But If you would see the justice court IL
its wild. "unpestered" state go into tn,
jungles of east Texas, where it roams Al
will and subsists on funny young mer
who get accused Of disturbing IL peact
which in all likelihood never existed. In
such places the justice of the peace gencr-
ally runs his Office in connection with a
small stock Of family groceries, and The
sessions Of the court are held in the rear
end Of the mercantile esta blishment, where
the presiding genius can keep his eye on
the front door. SO that he may not miss a
cash sale If opportunity offers. And the
opportunity sometimes presents itself on
such occasions and "his honor" asks the
lawyers and the jury to excuse him while
he increases the gross receipts of the cash
drawer. 1t also happens sometimes that
the j. p. espies some one in the courtroom
who is in arrears for supplies, and lays a
paperweight on legal proceedings while
he attempts to induce the delinquent to
square the account. This sometimes re-
suits in bad blood between debtor and
creditor, angry words, axhandles and bar
rel slaves and the ground torn up, in which
"his honor" sometimes comes out of the
conflict on all fours, with head on him
like II hippopotamus. Then an adjourn
ment is in order and the rest of the docket
Is carried over to the next term of court.
attended the sitting of one of these
lYtpfS Opp ,I hot oil
brood OF unvarnished justice. A young
man had disturbed the peace and trifled
with the dignity of the state in the one
aud the same transaction, and justice
whetted its hayknife and howled for re-
venge. 1.-THE court" had drawn up the
Indictment at the instance of a nervous
gentleman, who claimed that subdivi-
sion of the peace located IN his immediate
vicinity had been disturbed by the young
man hereinbefore referred to. In draw
ing up the Indictment "his honor" had
detected somewhat from Hoyle and Or
biography and spelled peace p-i~e-c-e.
When court was opened, counsel for defen-
dant attempted to quash the complaint on
the ground of its literary and legal imper-
fection and made quite an exhaustive ar
gument to that end. After counsel had
closed his argument the court" sustained
the indictment in substantially the fol-
lowing language:
''While admitting that in the drafting
of the indictment an embarrassing degree
Of unfamiliarity with the standard au-
thorities on diction is evident from the
spelling Of the word peace, at the same
time it is the opinion of the court that
this inaccuracy does not vitiate the indct-
ment, for we cannot enter upon the dan
gerous precedent of predicating the ad-
ministration of Justice upon a certain de-
gree of familiarity with the textbooks.
. 'Justice was full grown and had corns
on her toes before knowledge had ceased
to wrestle with the collie. She stood guar
dian over the liberties of man while knowl-
edge was in the kindergarten and small
clothes, and now to make her subservent
to this precocous young 'un were like the
head paying homage to the tail. If coun-
sci will bear with the court we will state
that we are here to administer a Job lot of
rectangular Justice and not for the pur-
pose Of discussing tho literary merit of |
the complaint wherein superfuity of |
- seems to have obtained and in which
the drought appears to have struck the "a
crop
Admitting that, when scrutinized by
mind II different meaning to that of piece
lr has no age over it when conveyed to
The understanding phonetically. Honce,
should witness on the stand testify to
,he fact that the defendant had disturbed
,he peace, the import of the word would
De determined by the sense in which it
VAS employed, and the same process of
'easOning would obtain as applied to the
written instrument
wherefore the court holds that the
while II little wobbly in it's legs
,s regards literary makeup, is abundantly
sufficient for all practical purposes. and
bis Is not Il court in which abstract
,heory will ever be invited to IL seat up
lext to the stove and practical demonstra-
ion allowed to gnaw n file in the back
lall. We take it for granted that Justice
would get along as well and sleep as
should IL conviction be secured for
disturbing the piece as though the same
verdict had been obtained for disturbing
the peace The fine would be no harder
to pay for the person 30 convicted, ther,1p
tured peace would recover it's normal func-
ton as early, and the revenue accrung to
the county by reason of the fine collected
would build as many bridges, court
houses or jails. The chief end and aim of
The JUstlce court IS to put the kerbOsh on
crime wherever it shows its ugly front,
and not to attempt to compete in ortho-
graphical finish with the bill Of fare at a
first rate restaurant in drawing up bills
Df Indictment Scholarly attainment is
Ill we'll and good, but the crucial moment
arrives when justice presses
her lily white hands to her stomach and
vearns to be satisfied.
1--WE do not desire to be understood as
Favoring the conviction of a party for one
'f1ense when charged with another For
Did that we should desire IL man hung
when he should only have the scat Of his
PANTS kicked into tatters and his plug of
,obacco taken away from him. Neither
10 we favor the release of II party when it
8 evident that he is guilty simply because
The Indictment whereby heis brought be-
ore the courts would fail to provoke ap-
clause from literary society. So, with a.
supreme desire to do the square thing be-
;ween legal form Oh the one hand and
box toed justice on the other, the court
will be forced to sustain the sufliciency of
'he Indictment and leave the rest to the
Jury and its God"
Then the trial was entered into, and aft-
ar fha aViReypa f,ly !