The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1893-01-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

a curling lron-Thc corkscrew.
Plain sailing--The route of the prairie
choener.-Puck. =
The man rowing boat is always back.
ward in coming forward.
Kissing goes by favor, but 1t often
comes by stealth.-Puck.
Wemay not like pawnbrokers, but we
have to put up with them. Truth
b Travelling dresses are now made with
vestibule trains.-Berkshiro Courier.
What The college freshman doesr't
know he talks about.-Elmira Gazstts.
Woman's face may be poem; but
she is always careful to conceal the lines
In it.
The man who fails in attpining other
perfections eau easily make 4 perfect
fool of himself.-Puck.
The man who didn't fulfill the promise
of his youth claimed that tnc notes Of
minors were pot binding.
The only man on earth who thinks
twice before he SPEAKS once is the man
who stutters.- Atchison Globe.
-tAll women are "beautiful" in tho
:. newspapers until it comes to the print.
Ing of their photographs. s.--Puck.
The Indians started for whoo2,
But soon their facss fell.
Some students, they, who passsl that way,
And they gave college yell.
Washington Star.
Take yonr hard luck as you would
pill. If You grind your teeth over it,
you will find it nastier than ever
Puck.
The man who objected to hiding his
light under u bushel succeeded in dis
playing his darkness to tho whole world.
Truth.
"The football game broke up in a
fight, didn't it2" "Yes. It WAS the
tamest affair ever saw."-Iudiauapolis
Journal.
: 'It's little weigh of miue," re-
marked clerk in Main street grocery
as he gave his customer fourteen ounces
for the pound.-Buffalo Quips. -
81 understand that all you bagged on
your hunting trip was a pair of trousers. -
"Well, they were cucA trousers, any
s%ay."--Indianapolis Journal.
"I wish+you would not take advantage
of the Relationship seemingly implied in
your rame to so familiar" said tho
hen to the hatchet.-> Washington Star.
\. The boy stood on the s5jprning deck
But who could blame GsTn, please.
The price of cca! had gone so: hign
1t was either this or fresz,.
Chicago Inter:Glcean
The making of joke is a good\ deal
like the making of a salad. We thHpk
we have struck good thing, although
it may only agree with our own personal
taste.--Puck.
"How do look," said the turkey as
he expanded his gorgeous array of
feathers. "Fit to KILL" replied the sar.
donic old rooster who is 30 tough that
he can't lie eaten. Washington Star.
! "Why didn't you keep tho horse, Ber-
tic, deah boya" Bertie-"The how'd
creature had the impudenco to tell me
that the horse was bwoken, and sent
him back for n whole one."-intess
Ocean.
" Friend-"f suppose y,ur wife often
burns the midnight oil" "Yes, l
guess she does now and then; but yo1
rust remember that she hasn't hsd
much experience in cooking yet."-In.
ter Ocean.
Wife-"Charley, dear, these are
graham gems that l made all alone.
Now tell me what you think Of them"
Charley-"Any one who tried to eat
them could tell they were precious
stones. ."-Chicago Inter. Ocean.
Papa sat reading his evening paper
when Tommy came up and leaned on
his knee. "Pa," said Tommy, "may
ask you a question:" "Certainly, my
boy" "Then tell me, pa, where the
wind is when it doesn't blow" Hart
'->-d Journal.
7m no |.