St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1893-05-20
THE JOKERS BUDGET,
Jest AND YARN BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

jESI AND fARN by FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
An Appeal to Gratitude Cautious
Assent Her Pets-One Way to Get
Word in-Etc., Etc.
AN APPEAL To GRATITUDE.
Briggs-1 have never told you about
he smart things my little boy does and
,ays, have l?
Braggs-You never have.
Briggs Then don't you think you can
ind it convenient to lend me $25?-[ In
Annapolis Journal.
CAUTIOUS ASSENT.
'Now, for example," said Miss Well
llong, twirling a corkscrew ringlet in her
myers, "there is my Cousin Penelope s
little girl Fanny. Think of it. Reading
Plato, and only eleven years old. 1t is
20 strange and yet so charming-don't
you think so. NJ Hankinson?-to see
IN old head on young shoulders
"Y-yes,' said Hankinson, rather dubi-
ously, and moving his chair little
further away.-[Chicago Tribune.
HER PETS.
Little Barbara has been sick, but was
convalescing,
care you my doctor ?" she said, wax
ing up suddenly and finding a strange
lady at her bedside.
ono, DEAR" replied the stran &c lady.
" am your trained nurse"
All, that's BETTER" exclaimed the
little girl. 81 shall like you very much.
Trained nurse" she continued, pointing
to cage hanging near the window, "let
me introduce you to my trained canary
-[Chicago Tribune.
EQUAL TO HER TEST OF TRUE LOVE.
eyes, she said, ~ shall marry Har-
old, for | know he loves me-
"How ~
{" He watched me sharpen pencil and
didn't laugh. y Washington Star.
ONE WAY TO GET A WORD IN.
Mrs. McCordle-It strikes me that it
is awfully disagreeable for you to talk in
your sleep every night.
McCordle-I agree with you, my dear;
but | have to improve my opportunity,
you know - Puck.
REASONING BY ANALOGY.
Mr.. Bronston-Mr. and Mrs. Upton
both had on new suits in church to day.
Mrs. Upton's dress was tailor made.
Mrs. Bronston-Huh! How do you
know it was tailor made?
Mr.. Observation-Disclosures Mr.. Upton's
clothes were ready-made. -[New York
Weekly.
MOSTLY HOLES.
"That's pretty big buckwheat cake
for boy of your size," said papa at
breakfast to Jimmie boy
1T looks big said JimmIeboy, "but
really it isn't. It's got lots of porouses
IN it. ''-[Philadelphia Record.
CHICAGO STUPIDITY.
And then George took courage.
Timid Youth--Miss Oracle, perhaps
my coming here so often may SEEM
nav seem-to smack of undue persis-
tency.
Demure Maiden--George, your coming
here has has never smacked of ything
yet Il Chicago Tribune.
INTERESTING, BUT SENSITIVE.
What an interesting animal!' ex-
claimed Fweddy. approaching the cage
If the orang- outang. Il wondah, bah
love, if I'm distautly violated to him
At this point Fweddy was interrupted
ny scream from the Gagged simian, SO
-ull of anguish, horror, and sudden, des
Derate, ungovernable rage, that the en-
ire mcnagerie was thrown into state of
violent excitement, and the keeper
hastily ushered the young man into the
apartment where the mummies and
stuffed snakes were on exhibition. II Chi
ago Tribune.
HARD ON THOMPSON.
SINAI! Boy Nav, can't 60 skatin' to-
lay?
Nervous Mother-Tm so afraid you
will fall in and get drowned.
Small Boy-Naw, I won't. Besides
We are going to take Fatty Thompson
'long to try the ice for U.S. [Indianapo
is Journal.
TIE HUMAN PARADOX.
Senior Partner-Brownett' bill has
been running little too long, think.
Junior Partner-Guess we'll have to
ret after him. Brownett never settles
except when he is stirred up Indian
'polis Journal.
ROOM FOR DOUBT.
Experienced observation-disclosures wants
o see you, sir.
Mr.. Richmann-Who is he7
Experienced servant-I couldn't find
,ut, sir; but, judgin' by his clothes, he's
ither beggar or millionaire, sir.
A FLUNGER.
Senior Partner-Send for an expert
nd have our cashiers books examined