The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1893-12-15
WOULD STAND NO POOLING.
Pioneer Landlord Who Settled All DIR
fculties with His Revolver.

A Pioneer Landlord Who Settled All DIFF
iculties with His Revolver.
About noon the stage drove up to
long, low building, composed OF sods
| and poles, and the driver called to us
that this was the place where we were
to eat dinner and change horses The
house was tavern and the owner OF it
came forward to receive the five pas
sengers and said:
Glad to see you. gents-very glad
Haven't got much in the way of din
ner, but, of course. you don't expect
much"
There were no conveniences for wash
! ing. and when one of the men went to
the landlord about it h replied:
| 20. Never mind gettin' the dirt off.
I've lived here over two years and
haven't washed once. We don't put on
any style out here"
| We were about to sit down to dinner
when a shot was fired out doors and
the landlord came into the room to
say:
| Sorry to bother you. gents. but as
wait on the BILE myself you'll have to
hold on for few minutes There's a
cuss out here who wants to be shot,
and as I'm all ready it won't take over
FIVE minutes
He seized his gun and went out and
after a couple of shots the ''cuss" was
hit in the shoulder and rode off. The
dinner consisted of baked beans. corn
bread, little bacon, and corn coffee,
and as the landlord served it out he
said:
Sorry | can't offer you more grub.
but my Mexican cook got impudent
last night and / had to plant him /
was just heapin' up the grave on the
other side of the road as you came in
sight. Eat hearty. gents"
Some tried to and some lost their ap-
petites Observing the latter, the gen.
ial host observed:
Better fill right up. gents, as this
stage will probably be stopped at Red
creek by road agents, and they may
keep you standing around till to-mor-
row."
Something was said by the kicker of
the party about the absence of napkins
and table-cloth. and the landlord
promptly replied:
Eyes. know. did start it with ia
ble-cloths. but the neighbors came and
begged 'em fur shrouds fur people
| killed by the Indians. and I've clean
run out. Sorry about it, but we have
to help each other out here. you know"
Meat seems to be pretty scarce with
vou- observed a passenger who had
failed to get a taste.
'Yes. rather. but only at the present
time Last week had oceans of meat.
but | got into a row with the Teller
who was freighting it down for me,
and he's planted just beyond the Next
lean"
When we went to settle out for the
meal the landlord said it would be four
dollars apiece. There was a general
kick about the price, and he threw up
his hands and exclaimed:
Great lands, but what is this coun-
try coming to. anyway? a month ago
/ had to shoot traveller for insisting
on having white sugar in his coffee
Two weeks ago I had to kill another
for kicking about a looking glass. Last
week | plunlled man from Chicago
who wanted Il hair brush, and now I've
got to kill the FIVE of you to get what
that dinner actually cost me. Do you
fellers imagine that all | have to do
out here is to dig graves and shovel
back the dirt?'
He seemed 50 hurt in his feelings that
we paid him the fou- dollars apiece and
went our wav. hut in the course of halt
an hour something happened to solac
us We met three men on horseback.
who halted us that one of them might
inquire:
'sDo you know If ole Dan Smith are
at homer
You mean Smith of the FOrty-Mile
housed suppose?" answered the driver.
1--WE do"
Yes he's home
Much obleegel We ar goin' up
th1r' to FIJI his old carcass with lead
and plant him alongside his cook
" Y. Herald
Favor is one of those things which you
can best keep in by asking for none Of it
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