Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-16
A CONFORMING REPLY.

Hio Fiancee-I do dread to meet you,
family. I'm afraid they will think I'm
not digni6ed enough.
He-Oh. no, the girls will take to you
directly.
She Which one shall like hest?
He-My youngest sister, Flossie, I
think. She's an awfully silly little
thing, and I'm sure you'll get on CAPT
tally together. Truth.
NOT ROMANCE.
Locked in her room, five times a day
She sets II treasured gift before her,
| And sits and dreams the hours away,
Her fond gaze that of an adorer.
What memory does the treasure bring
That she should count it dear and
dcarer9
IL there love tale in the thing?
Not quite! It's just her largest mir
rOr.
-[Chicago Record.
BrLKINs IN PAIN.
Mr.. Bilkins-Ouch! Woo! Whoop!
! can't stand this toothache any longer.
Hurry round to DR.. Pullem's at once.
Mrs. Bilkins--Well?
Mr.. Bikins-If-if he isn't in, tell
him to come and pull this tooth. -[New
York Weekly.
PAPA's OPINIONS ON EDUCATION.
Little Dick-I told the teacher YOU
didn't remember half the things you
studied at school.
Papa-1 am glad you did. There is
no use in all this stuffing, and the teach-
ere ought to know it. What did she
say?
Little Dick-She said she guessed I
was chip o. the ole block.
News.
TOO MUCH FOR ONE WHEEL.
"Look here, young man," said the
medical practitioner, :" if you ride
wheel so much you'll get HYPNOSIS
Bicyclistarum.'
"On this whecl2"
EYES, SIR"
SWELL" replied the wheelman, "if I
do. one of us will have to get off and
alk.'-[Washington Star.
OUT OF POLITICS.
Foreign Visitor-You have q glorious
country here, and fairly revel in the
blessings of freedom, supposed
Mr.. Crossroads-Wall, as to that, we
don't take much interest in politics up
our way. The post-otfice don't half pay
expenses, and so all parties periodically
agreed to retire from the political field
and let soldiers widow have it.-[Nsw
York Weekly.
MAY HAVE BEEN RIGHT AFTER ALL.
"My! Jingleberry, what a cash you
have in your cheek!'
1T is pretty bad"
:. did you get it9"
You must have an idiot for bar
ber."
Don't YOU call me an idiot"
81 didn't"
"Yes, You did. shave myself ~
lHarper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Cumbleton-Oh, doctor! I'm
afraid l swallowed my false teeth in my
sleep!
DIR. Wagg-Don't be alarmed, my dear
madam. DO you feel a gnawing sensa.
tion?-[P Puck.
THE RETORT COURTEOUS.
MADAM, said the gypsy, "let rue
tell your fortune?"
"No; go away" snapped the elder
female at the door.
Pardon" returned the gypsy; 81
had not noticed that madam's fortune had
been told years ago." Judge.
TMK BRIGHT SIDE OF 1T.
Eastern Capitalist-You don't seem tc
have many people here.
Boomtown Land Agent-But think of
the unrivaled opportunities that gives for
growth OF population"
ONE OF WER PL1GHrEp LOVERS.
Maud-How dreadfully awkward!
Elaine-What's awkward9
Maud-I'm engaged to that man we
just passed and can't think of his name.
A PLEASANT NOTE.
Wife "a widow newly married}-Do
you speak Germanl
Husband-Oh, yes.
"Well, occasionally address me in that
language"
why"
cit will remind me of my first dean
husband. "-lTexas Siftings.
GETTING TOO SERIOUS.
Elaine-Why did you break off your
engagement with George2
Gladys--You see. we were forced to
be together a good deal. and l found I
was getting fond of him. Chicago Re.
ord.
AROUND THE HOUSE.
If dish towels and cloths are boiled ur