Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-10-06
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

III IS thyme that makes the ola man
sage.
Well done-The farmer who falls III
with bunko men. Philadelphia Call.
The quickest way of ofsmoothing rough
| Siftings.
Many fond parent does not get to
sleep until after the bawl is over.
Boston Globe.
Even when the acrobat is bending
the crab on the front lawn he is, fgura-
lively speaking, on the back stoop.-
Detroit Free Press.
Geography Teacher Tommy, how
is the earth divided?" Tommy "Er,
not at all cause everybody most wants
it all. Chicago Inter Ocean
Smiths business is going along like
clockwork." :" pooh, his place is III
the hands of receiver" ''That's it,
being wound up. Chicago Inter
Ocean.
Dinkle-'' Funny thing about Not
rich and his new piano. Dankle-
"1s, eh?" Dinkle--''Yes; plays it by
ear and pays for it by note. y" Buffalo
Courier
Arrival ''Can [ put up at this
house?" Clerk--'I suppose so. Got
any baggage?" Arrival Clerk
-"How much do you want to put up?"
Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Jones-''I your wife at home,
Mr.. Wilbur?" Wilbur ''Not certain,
but if you'll hold that screen door
open half n minute you'll hear. from
her. - Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Consolation of Matrimony: She
u suppose you would have been
happier if you had not married me?'
He--''Yes, darling, but / wouldn't
have known it. --Life's Calendar
Prisoner .'But | would rather tell
my own story. Don't you think it
would be believed?" Lawyer Yes.
that's the trouble 1t would carry
conviction with it, II Harlem Life.
You seem to like the Colonel,
Uncle Mose?" Eyes, sab he's SO
gentlemanly, sab = Gentlemanly, in
what way?' ''With his money, sah,
with his money. Buffalo Courier.
Tenor" "Sir, this music is Il trihe
too high for me. Manager ''Let rs
take it note lower" Tenor ooh,
half note would do Manager
(solemnly Here, sir, We never do
things by halves !" Tit-Bits.
Mr.. Baldboy (smiling kindly )--"Tho
waves are using you rudely VIII you
permit me to assist you to the shore?'
ATf.a KN,t,rI,- Navs, mind 4EopI-
you. The waves may be rude, but
they are not fresh. B Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Spiker in search Of boarding.
house, There is no limit to the diet.
presume, madam 2" Boarding house
Keeper proudly -''No limit sir.
During the last year five OF my
boarders died from over-eating. -
Tit. Bits.
"Mr. Meteman, said the young
wife with great severity to her butch
er, those last eggs you sent me were
all spoiled, and unless YOU change
your old hens for new ones | shall loo
obliged to trade somewhere else. 10
Chicago Record.
Random Observer Pardon me,
htt NtAAt uft AbH ltAtttuE NtNh III
your notebook" Worlds Fair Visit.
or "oh, I'm just putting down the
things that have made au iudelible i'm
preston upon my memory So that
won't forget them. Chicago Record.
Freshleigh to stranger al recor.
tom Cad, this is e iBnny beusei
| came here Tonight without Hn invita-
zion, Stranger $50 did / How
lid you come here" rreshleiph
just walked in How did You come
heres' Stranger just walked ia.
II nay house. + Vogue.
He vas a small nun. the conductor
oi an electric ear, and She Wa e large,
powerful hooking Woman. "A want
,ou g. put nae of at CnufaHl street,
,he said IT, viewed hef malteile lls
arr fuf moment. and 81 piled "AlaI
tn. uili top the far and let geu ael
~ Nen York Press
- #ippose tbs paue haat struck
fUH Yet, Af tuiroa tit hehG
sh4 tlera tYe Hut martn siaWb
hHt / eaHt sst peurls e. baftus at
1T thef fe ~. afeaii H iWta hH5.
ir 8as deeper Il tas ttnuH kUens
A. iiHiv lpHser / 4 Iani % tht poor
iHH M rs HaHtAs indianapolis
lautH#l
a Jul lu efgasius laa islsa Nhau
~ ahe iHu8 Hisht hnae be.i asatHs
neli aHaNa suits mHseN BE- Ass
NiNttH tefflhi8 EM saieAue
atHA / da anfthna oF RaHH stf
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