The record-union., 1893-02-11
CHASING AN ANCESTOR.
Mrs. Brown-Jones Wants q Few 4
cestral Portraits.

Mrs. Brown-JoneS wants Few An
cestraI Portraits.
Mrs. Brown-Jones - Thomas. Ter
think we ought to have few family por-
traits.
Mr.. Jones-Good idea, my love. Pill
stop in tomorrow and have my photo
Mrs. Brown-Jone - Mr.. Jones. you
know L regard the question of family as
sacred, and TO jest
Mr.. Jones-Jest, my dear? If paving
| 81 a dozen for photographs is testing, l
do not wonder at the poverty of pro
fessional humorists.
Mrs. Brown-Jones lin placid tones)-I
| think few ancestral portraits would be
| delightful.
Mr.. Jones-But our families are not
limited; your mother was a Smith, and
mine rejoiced in the name of Robinson.
Now the late census shows
=. Mrs. Brown-J ones-Thomas, this is
actually sacrilegious. Our ancestry is Il
noble, proud one, and thus to laugh at
it and provoke the spirits of those be-
ings-
MIR. Jones (humbly)-Pardon me, my
dear; l forgot what legions l invoked.
Well, we'll get some portraits. l think
there Is one OF my great-grandmother at
the old house.
Mrs. Brown-Jones (delighted) So?
Who painted it?
MIR. Jones.-I am no connoisseur, my
love, but, judging by appearances. 1
should say that my grandfather must
have had hand in it at the age of Jour.
Time has been merciful, however-the
frame is
Mrs. Brown-Jones Suddenly grown
sadj-Then it isn't worth much as por-
trait?
Mr.. Jones-Can't say; never saw the
old lady.
Mrs. Brown ones-Wasn't her father
Sir Thomas
Mr.. Jones-Give it up, sweetheart:
never dabbled with family skeletons.
Mrs. ADMINISTRATIONS! You
might think
Mr.. Jones-I might, my love, but 1
rarely do.
Mrs. Brown-Jones (severely)-You
might think there was some hidden
mystery.
MIR. Jones-None apparent, SO it must
be hidden if there is any. But what good
are ancestors?
Mrs. Brown-Jones-W What good? Why,
Thomas Jones, what would we be with
out ancestors?
MIR, Jones tthoughtfully)-Tru true.
never considered the question i'll that
light. Why, we wouldn't be.
Mrs. Brown ones-And so I want n
few portraits to prove that our family is a
notable one.
Mr.. Jones-A directory would prove
that.
Mrs. n-Jones-Now, be serious.
Can we get that picture to hang III the
library?
Mr.. Jones-We can get the picture. but
as to hanging it in the library, say no.
Mrs. Brown-J ones-I-I-thinll you're
horrid. IL
Mr.. Jones Calm yourself. You can
have the portrait. but l would warn you
not to speak her name.
Mrs. Brown-Jones (excitedly)-Why,
| Thomas, why?
Mr.. Jones lin whisper)-Because her
name was Bridget Maloney, and my
reat-grandfather eloped with her from
Dublin in 1877.
Mrs. Brown-Jones-Oh, why did ever
marry you? You never told me-you
nevertheless sobbing).
Mr.. Jones-Eou never asked me. Do
you want the picture?
Mrs. Brown-Jones stopping in door
way)-Do l wantIt? No, sir. The idea
an llish ancestor and the Batchby-Poke-
dyes are English back to the Conquest.
No, sir; it's absolutely vile in you
exit.
Mr.. Jones (musingly)-I wonder if I
could have palmed of that thing of mid
night on Lake Como" for the old lady?
Well, it's all right. L can't afford to have
any modern painter go back hundred
years and pay him annual interest.-Har-
per's Bazaar.