The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-11-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Every man with bright son be-
lieves in heredity. -Atchison Globe.
There are always some rare bargains
at the meat market Galveston News.
IL you want to know woman's
faults, ask her dearest female friend.
When the dealers put down the
prices on peaches the women put them
up.-Boston Globe.
what are you wearing glasses
for?" 'For my eyes, stupid. S'pose
I'm wearing them for corns?"
When the colleges open it will be
Drawn versus brain, and may the best
man win. Rochester Express.
He wore a wide hat and a sash,
And stared in away that was bold,
But the girls every one adored him.
For you see he was four years old.
Chicago 1nter-Ocean.
Many a girl makes bad blunder in
not taking a man at his word when he
says, 'T am not worthy of your love-"
Puck.
''The pleasantest way TO take cod
liver oil, says an old gourmsnd, lis
to fatten pigeons with it, and then eat
the pigeons
'I am told that Carson always heaps
Goals on his enemies heads. p" "Well,
he is rich and can afford to do such
things. Truth.
Friend-"well, Tommy, now that
you've started to school, what do ysu
like best? ?" Tommy Recess. CHI
eago Inter Ocean.
Hark, from the tombs a doleful sound
Comes TO us, one and all
II Is a maiden down the street,
Who sings, after the Bail
Detroit Free Press.
JiRRs-- "The last saw of Gayboy he
said he was out for time. wonder
II he got it?" Jaggs-''Yes; the
Judge gave him ten days. Buffalo
! Courier.
Everything American goes in
France. They even want American SER
wants there, and have not yet learned
that there is no such thing. Boston
Journal.
Mother "Childrea have you said
your prayers?" Tilly-"Yes, mann
ma" ''You we're very quick about
it," ~ prayed one-half and Daisy
the other. "---Texas Siftings
The Debutante (aside) -"How many
verses shall sing?" The Professor
do you want an encore" The
| Debutante-"O course. The Pro-
fessor--" zone. boston Budget.
She was airy
As a fairy.
And no man she'd ever led
To think guess,
OF heaviness, 81
Until she took 10 baking bread
-Bufslo Courier.
al read an account Of how n girl fell
over forty feet without killing herself.
GOOD gracious How did she do
it?" Tried 60 get out of moving
street car with exactly twenty men in
it. - Vogue.
Hostess-'So you are going 20 be
married, Ethel?n Girl Friend--"Yes.
81 thought you said you intended TO
remain single" 81 did but I've been
taking lessons in the cooking school,
and | don't want 10 waste them. -
Chips.
Mrs. Fangle--'Haye you secured o
lodger for your second floor vet, Mr..
Goslin?" Goslin (horrifed) ~" "Ihayent
been looking for lodgor, madam.
Mrs. Fangle-"Why, I'm certain my
husband told me you had rooms 20 LEI
in your upper story. ~ Waif.
Her Friend--'I thought you were
| going 60 marry man with title or
forever remain single" Mrs. Nuwodde
"He has title, beg leave to in
form You. "What is il. pray3"
'Ducksy darling. | gave IL 30 him
myself. - indianapolis Journal
"You quite devoted yourself 90 that
frightlul-looking Van Stick on the
train the other day, Edith; what ON
earth made you do thatW 'Well, Il
was absolutely necessary 90 pay some
attention 10 him. You don't sup
pose | wanted people 20 think he was
my husband - Brooklyn Life.
For two hours the fashionable lady
kept the draper exhibiting his goods,
and at the end of that period she
sweetly asked. care you quite sure
you have shown me everything you
haye?" "No, madam, ,aid tho
draper, with an insinuating smile, II
have yet an old account IN my ledger
which 1 shall very gladly show YOU
It'd Bits.
A misguided individual came mp 60
young lady the othe- day aud con-
graduated her upon Ecr Sesement,
IL may be rationa! TO congratulate
girl that il is no worse or Que OF un-
certain years on not missing her last
trick, but neither would be advisable.
The best that an engaged girls frieuda
can do is 10 extend 10 her their best
wishes and try 10 withhold the sigh
The man is the one to be congratulated,
for he plupSe' into matrimony with
both eyes open, snd It is his own fault
if he does not fad the bliss for which
he si5hs Brooklyn Lfe.