South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1893-09-28
PITH AND POINT.

Literary circles-The rounds of tho
press.
1t is the comic opera singer who is
most apt to 'steal march" on us.
There are more ways than ono to
kill a cat; but most of them are
failures.
In the game of life it's the non-pay-
ing tenant who gets the most moves
Buffalo Courier.
The man who looks out for rainy
day generally makes many sunny ono
for his heirs.-Puck.
'Inquisitive Party" Whose funeral
is this?" Irish Undertaker-"Mine,
sor. Texas Siftings.
The young man who sows his wild
oats Is laying up store of good advice
for his children that are to be.
Some people are so anxious to get
ahead in the world that they only sue
coed in getting a headstone.-Puck.
Mamma why did You
come to the table with that pair of
hands?" s"Cause haven't any other"
just Possible: Lord G.-'Ycu're q
girl after my heart" She-''HoH do.
you know? I may be after your titlStS
Brooklyn Life.
"Jack-'I told her I would like
tnke care of her always" TomA
"What did she say?" Jack-''Taka>
! care, sir. Vogue )
t'My hair" murmured Van Arndtl
sadly, as he strove carefully to conceak
the bald spot on his head, "reminds
me of e fool and his money! Puck.
Among the new members of tho
German Reichstag is n master Chin
ney sweep. In some respect it is
sootablc occupation. - Philadelphia
Ledger.
''Has my boy been n little defender
and kind to dumb animals to day ?"
eyes, grandma, let your canary out
of the cage, and when my cat caught
it set Towser on her. Life.
A Brazilian recently saved his life
by carrying a roll of G100 notes inside
his vest when bullet came that way.
Yet there are people who neglect SO
simple precaution.- Bits.
Tommy-"My fathers in the
butcher business. What business is
your'n in?" Sammy-"My father
don't have to foller any business. He's
| n Alderman. Chicago Tribune.
Fiddleback-':Doy ou suppose Miss
Pinkerly noticed that my cuffs were
! soiled?" Tutter-"I don't believe so,
old man. She never notices anything
unless it is out of the ordinary
| Truth.
Yabsley-"Did .Bings apologize for
kicking you yet?" Mudge-"No. He
said he knew he owed me an apology,
but times were so hard that no could
not think of paying il. Indian
| apolis Journal.
Roberts-''There's one thing 1
don't like about orr National motto. I"
Peters-"What-E pluribus unum :?
What's the matter with it?' Roberts
-"Parts its name in the middle. -
Brooklyn Life. :
Mrs. Dangle-"What do the papers
mean by the phrase painful silence
| dear? I don't see how silence could
ever be painful, do you?' bangle
mo, I can't, Mrs. Dang.e; no I
| can't. Buffalo Courier.
Les, we are going TO get up bene-
fit entertainment for Yellowly." "Why
should You get up benefit for him?
He earns as much money Us you or I. ;"
"Oh, but he is just home from Chi
cngo. New York Press.
Gaswell-"I'm disguised with young
Mr.. Van Braam." Dukane-"Why ?''
HE does nothing but firt with the
girls. "Then you don't like to see a
mans efforts miss directed. "-Pittsl
burgh Chronicle Telegraph.
Mistress -(instructing green SER
vant)-"And don't forgeExn Bridget.
every time there is ring at the bell
you must go to the door" Bridget.
Sure Mum, Oh will. An can Oh keep
the ring?"--Philadelphia Record.