The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-10-15
gloom of the November night with his
sad but searching sonp


The woodchuck, dolphin and Goldfish
are natives of New Jersey. Also the
turkey buzzard, low necked clam and
politician. People who think that the
mosquito is the only mammal of New
Jersey know little of our fauna.
Rider Haggard. who visited New Jer-
sey i'll his mind several years ago, said:
"At the kraal in Hohokus we provided
ourselves with a supply of biltong and
elephant guns, secured 20 or 80 natives
armed with crescendoes and sharp duo
decimos and began to penetrate the
jungle. We had not gone far when our
supply of biltOng ran short, and as we
began to trek toward the interior my
men began to fear that we might perish.
At this time my gunbearer, Tippu lib,
Jr., of Weehawken, gave yelp of de-
light, for he had struck the spoor of
Fulton market wagon. Hunger gave us
all energy, and as we continued to trek
westward could see that my men would
make desperate struggle rather than
die of starvation.
Opening small boobeyack of native
spoopju and giving each n measureful
with u loaf Of mealie cake and an ele-
plants tongue on toast. together with
the sweetbread of a hippopotamus with
green peas, our men We're soon ready to
make an attack on the wagon, which WAS
also treking westward rs the crow flies.
sit was not long till we heard the
crushing of twigs i'll the Jungle. and be-
fore we camped that night we had baggcd
the entire delivery wagon, containing
veal outlets, skun and unskun cells, shad
Ill
spare ribs, soup bones, pigs feet, oysters,
spinach and other fauna of New Jersey
and having killed the voracious driver
we carried him away to Railway to act
i'll the capacity of mystery for future
years"
Though Mr.. Haggard touches very
lightly upon the zoology of New Jersey,
one can see that the field is very wide
indeed, and with his African vocabulary
and with q gallon or two of New Jersey
spoopju 1 think I could write very
thrilling jungle tale, locating it within
10 miles of New York city. A hectic
imagination, some Congo words and the
right brand of spoopju will make the
zoology of New Jersey look like Noah's
ark in the midst of conhagration at sea.
P. 81 forgot to name the spoopju of
New Jersey i'll the list of her geological
wonders. With it the field is enlarged,
and one can see crocodiles with red
stomachs and uniforms with purple tails
so l am told.
And now comes n note from little
boy i'll the public school of Lorillard, Il
tobacco center in this state, inquiring
about Socrates and how he stood at home
after his name had become famous over
the then world.
Socrates suffered as do most great men
who return to their birthplaces and seek
to impress their old neighbours Going
back to Athens, where he was called
strange that he should have felt down at
| the heel?
give below notice of his lecture
taken from the Athenian Daily Aston
isher, which, it is said, was followed by
the suicide of Socrates, May 30, 470 B. c..
\ rather light audience meandered into anu
| ratified around in tho annex of tho Acropolis
| last evening to listen TO Socrates, whom we
| nave heard highly spoken of. Certainly,
| from what has been said of Sock, especially by
| our vile contemporary, the Athenian Evening
Rubber Stamp, we had reason to believe that
| Old Sock, the Child Wonder. would paralyZc
Athens in three rounds with bare knuckles.
Suffice 1t TO say that the audience was bitter
ly disappointed, and the Athenian Hook and
Ladder company and the Corinthian Squirt
company No. 3 are left to the tune of about the
rent OF the annex of the Acropolis and tho
printing.
Socrates is u greatly overestimatcd man. He
writes fairly well, but as an orator he gives lis
violent pain.
In the first place, he is an extremely plain
man. Ho Is pop eyed, stoop shouldercd and
| baldheaded, with IA mouth like II stab in tho
| dark" How it ever occurred to him to lecture
| we do not understand. He might well DO util-
| lied to brighten Incorporate men back into tho
| path of rectitude, but he cannot pronounce n
| panegyric-at least ho does not pronounce it
| as we have been accustomed to hearing it pro-
| nounced
On his arrival in town yesterday Socrates
| became the guest of the Corinthian Squirt
| cQmpanY No. and is snil to hive yisitnd the