The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-12-30
100 WILLING.

ana WouId ne give US enough 10
live beautiful y on"
''I'm sure OF it, Harry"
"And would he take me into the frmi"
Certainly he would"
"And let me run the business TO suit
m self?"
''Of course he would, darling"
She Struggled to his bosom, but he put
her aside coldly.
Il can never marry you" he said
hoarsely. Your father is too willing 10
get you off his hands. "-LDetroit Free
Press.
WELL Broken.
Burglar-Don't say a word, or I'll
blow your head off.
Henpec Celeepily)--Beg pardon, my
dear; | didn't mean to-(snOres).-
Puck.
THEY CAP
Jobbers CunhappiIy mated)-I wonder
if all men who get married lead lives OF
endless torture?
Enpeck bitterly oh, no. Some of
them die.-tChicago Record.
ON THE s|CAFFoLD.
Prison Chaplain - The condemned
seems to have plenty of nerve.
Warden-Well, | should say he had.
The idea OF "A man with his record asking
for a pardon!-[Detroit Tribune.
THESE
Laborer (admiringly to comrade, as a
stylishly dressed woman sailed by with
shoulders apparently five feet broad)-I
say, Jimmy, there's "A pair of shoulders
for a nod. -.Philadelphia Record.
WORKS LIKE A CHARM.
First Tramp-The police won't let
anybody beg around this club. How do
you manage TO pick up so much?
Second Tramp %(Iiarvard, 'S2)-Oh,
when ! see a swell coming out | say:
Git onto the English dude, byesl
EXPRESSIVE.
Minister (to prisoner BE cheerful,
my man. You may see better times
yet. Life is made up of disappointments
and uncertainties'-
Prisoner--Yes ne ncvah kin tell whah
de dwag is.-LClcveland Plain Dealer.
EXPERT IN PROFANITY.
Judge-Do you understand the ma
ture OF an oath!
Witness with pride)--I reckon do.
I'm a mule driver on a canal. Halo.
\ MORBID y
Coroncr-What led you to believe that
the deceased had contemplated suicide
for some time!
Witness -Nothing in Particular; only
he took such a gloomy view Of life.
Coroncr-In what way!
Witncss-He was an English humorist,
sir. - Puck.
DEVOTION.
She with enotion)-Do you truly care
for me Just rs much - when we were
first engaged!
lie with conviction)-Yes, lovey,
every single bit as much.
And at the time thi conversation ook
place they had been engaged Just four
teen hours eight minutes and twenty-five
seconds. = Chicago Record.
sUPPOsING.
She-Supposing you were going to
propose To Il girl, what would you sayl
llt-Ou. s'llltAllne SlllJlt dllu hiltNl,
like this: "Will you be my wife?'
Surprising you were the girl, what would
your answer be?
She-les. Harlem Life.
SURE CURE.
Anxious Mother-Ques.-"My boy is
sadly addicted to playing jackstones. He
claims that it furnishes both mental and
physical exercise. How can | wean him
from itl'
Ans.-"Buy a cord of nice oak wood,
uncut. furnish him an AK and put him to
studying the beauties of botany and the
structure of plants. He will soon forget
about iackstcnes.- Atlanta journal.
TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
II thought Belle was to marry the
Kentucky c~olonel?"
NO; the engagement is off. She asked
him to drink her health in a glass of ice
water - Indianapolis Journal.
$50 you want employment in my
storel'
Yes, SIR replied the young man.
do YOU keep books!'
II never borrow them"
And the merchant hired him on the
strength of bis honesty. - Washington
Star.
DID NOT WANT TRUNKS.
Pardon me, madam" gently urged
travol-stained Rhodes, as he str OK the
lady of the house at the alley gate, have
YOU an old pair Of shoes YOU can spare a
poor pilgrim on life's thorny pathI'
bidding him wait a moment the good
woman went into the house and returned
with "A Yair Of shoes. which she handed
10 him.
Excuse me, good lady, he
Ell. hoarsely, ''your husband is a Phiia-
delphia Policeman
''lIe is" she replied wonderingly.
How did YOU Know
by the size OF these. was the sorrow
full reply. "Herc, madam, take them
back. wanted shoes TO walk in.
- s..-Ia Ia - Il