The Opelousas courier., 1893-04-22
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

n HASu - W0atGHy dCIOTs
No man can tell how much it would
take to make him rich.-Ram's Horn.
A horse, strange to say, feeds best
when he hasn't a bit, in his MOUTH
Truth.
1t doesn't always follow that shaking
an acquaintance rattles him.--Philadel-
phia Times.
A slay belle-One of:the King of Da-
homey's Amazonian warriors. New
York Journal.
It does seem a little odd that a good
s'trusty" gfocer rarely succeeds. -Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Lecturer-tWhat is dearer to a man
than his wife," Bachelor-"Her jew
elry."-Jeweler's Weekly.
When an old crank spoils the slide,
the small boy doesn't feel like saying
peace to his ashes.-Puck.
What the solar system needs now is a
good stringent law for the punishment
of vagrancY.--Kansas City Star.
One of the hardest times to love al
enemy is when he seems to be prosper
ing like a green bay tree.-Ram's Horn.
No charge to florists for this advice:
If YOU would have your plants start
early put them in spring beds.-Loweu
Courier.
ssHow can I become ready converse
tionslist9" "Persuade yourself that you
have a chronic disease of some kind. "
Buffalo Express.
"You are beneath my notice." as the
land owner remarked when he found the
tramp asleep under his sign "No tres
passing."-Comic Cuts.
First Thlef-"What do you do when
you can't pull the wool over a jewelers.
eyes2" Second Thief-"Throw pepper
in em."-Jeweler's Weekly.
Tommy-'say. pawT Mr.. Figg-
"Well2" "When a hole in the ground
is filled up with dirt what becomes OF
the hole2"-Indianapolls Journal.
Jagson says there are two reasons why
his servant girl cannot succeed in this
world and they are because she hates to
get up and dust.-Elmira Gazette.
Martin-"How well Miss Greenbough
keeps her agel" Mrs. Grinder-"Why.
of course; nothing would induce her to
give it away."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Reggie-"van Harding has been ex.
PEELED from the club" Ferdie-
"Whym Reggie-"He was getting too
beastly bwainy."-New York Herald.
OBJ, take the telephone away,
Its trials greater grow,
For all You hear and all you say
n Is that one word "Hello"
W darlington Star.
Judge-"Have you anything to say
before I pass sentence on you7" Prisoner
-"No, I amt got any time ter waste
talkin' ERE. I want ter gol"-Pick Ne.
Up.
A man who is rough and awkward at
everything else will show q delicacy and
skill greater than any woman's when he
has to patch a torn ten-dollar bill.--
Atchison Globe.
The Brilliant Spirit of Repartee;
she-sIt is reported around town that
we are engaged" He--sI have heard
worse things than that" She'll never
have."-Life's Calendar.
Miss Ann Gulaw-'I wish you would
tell me how you manage to keep your
dresses in such pretty shape" Miss
Plumpette--esimrly by wearing them,
dear ."--Indianapolis journal.
"Don t you think" the mother said
proudly, ssthat her playing shows a re-
markable anish2" EYES," replied the
young man absently; ''but she was 4
long tune getting to 1.-THE Jury.
Watts-"Did you ever eat any pos
sums" Grogan-'soi niver did an
niver will. Oh how no use for a haste
that wud dhrop the o from the name o.
him as the 'possum has."-Indianapoli
journal.
"Mrs. Migg's children look SO neg
leeted, poor things; is she aways" ''Noi
she is spending her time writing those
beautiful articles, How to Make Home
Attractive for the Children "-Ohicago
Inter.Ocean.
Turf Muggs-s'so you got clear o
that larceny charge, ehs Must "a had a
purity smart lawyer" Barryl Howes-
1Naw. He was a regular ohump. Only
charged $25 for clearin' me."-Indian
apolis journal.
Importunate Borrower-"But I have
a family to support, my dear fellow
Unwilling vlctim-s'All the NOR
reason, my dear fellow, for your not try
ing to hold uphill your friends. "-Kat'
Fields Washington.
aUllol" said the messenger boy
saint you workin' no more, kid2'
aNaw," said the ex-oficeboy, ~ amt
Pm on a strike. Der walkin' deligi
came around an said we III to gi
double price fer lie1in' desc new stamps
or 90 out. An I went out. Indian
apolis Journal.
Little Flory-"Would you mind let
ting me Put your ring in the bath tub
faw minutesa" Mr.. Pridec--'tWha
for2n Little Flory--ssSister Madge salt
last week she knew you'd put your rins
in soak to get the flowers you sent her
and I wanted to try it aud see il cool'
get some. n--Inter-O Ocean.