Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-04-24
JUST FOR FUN.

1t will take lots of rocks to keep them
going.
A great social upheaval may be ac
complished by boy taking his first
chew of tobacco.
Fifty cents is a small doctor bill, but that is
! all it will cost you to cure any ordinary case
| of rheumatism if you use Chamberlain's Pain
Balm. Try it and you will be surprised at the
! prompt relief it affords The first application
will quiet the pain. so cent bottles for sale by
H. G. Pierce.
Why not make the cactus the ma
tional flower? 1t has more fine points
than any other yet mentioned.
In your Impotence do not call yoIr
disputer an Off horse, for an ff-horse
is always on the right side.
1 suffered for more than ten years with that
dreadful disease, catarrh, and used every
available medicine that was recommended to
me. cannot thank you enough for the
lief which Ely's Cream Balm has afforded me.
Emanuel Meyers, Winfield, L. l., N. Y.
How are you getting on with your
bicycle riding, Dick? Dick-I spend
most of my time getting on.
Van Demmit: $50 he's a cynic? ell?
Been disappointed in love, has he?'
Van Arndt: ''No: in his COOKE
am an old man and have been constant
sufferer with catarrh for the last ten years /
am entirely cured by the use of Ely's Cream
Balm. 1t is strange that so simple a remedy
will cure such a stubborn disease Henry
Billings, us. Pension Atty, Washington, DO.
There are little and great scoundrels
The last are worshipped by the ladies;
the others are run in by the police.
Waiter-How did you find your
steak, sir? Guest Blamed if know
how did find it, it was so small.
Ethel-Who was the friend 1 saw
with you moment ago? Ellen-He's
not friend, Pm engaged to him.
BUCKLEN's ARNIcA sALvE.-The Best salve
in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers,
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
quired. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect sat
isfaction, or money refunded. Price % cents
per box. For Sale by H. c. Pierce.
Johnny-Do you say your prayers
every night? JIMMY do whenever
I've got ter sleep in the folding bed"
Speaking of bonds, there's one
which it is next to impossible to re-
DEEM" "What is that?'' "The vaga-
bond"
Lanes Family Medicine Moves the Bowels
Most people need to use it Each day.
Kind Party-What are you crying
that way for, little boy? Little Boy
Cause it's the only way 1 know how
to cry.
1t is truthfully remarked that the
tramp probably puts more sole into
his profession than many men of even
higher aspirations.
The many testimonials received daily by
the proprietors OF Salvation Oil, emphasizing
its value as cure for neuralgia and rheuma
tism, furnish convincing proof of its great
merits. 1t is par excellence the liniment.
Tommy-There's a girl at our school,
mamma, they call Postscript" Do
you know why? No, dear Tommy
Because her name is Adeline Moore.
The difference between a politician
and a statesman is hard to define, but
very easy to understand. All the fell
lows in the other parties are simply
politicians.
Said noted man of GO years, "my mother
gave me Downs Elixir for coughs and colds
when was boy"
Old Menagerie Monkey-Wel, what
do you think Of the white people so
far' New Monkey-The most striking
trait about them seems to be their in
tense curiosity.
Little Johnny--May hitch the dog
to my sled and have him pull me?
Mother afraid he'll bite you. Lit
tie Johnny-It's the other end Pm
going to hitch.
Take it home. "Having used Salvation Oil
in my family for rheumatism find it an ex-
cellent remedy. Hiram G.. Dudley, of Dudley
Carpenter Commission Merchants, 1875
Light St., Baltic, Md"
A recent advertisement in an En-
glish paper reads: "For sale.-A bull
terrier dog, two years old. Will eat
Anything; very fond of children. APP
ply at this Office"