Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-10-05
Let Us AL Laugh.

Let Us All Laugh.
THE tip-top fellow is never low
| down.-Picayune.
THERE isn't mushroom for doubt
that toadstools are deadly.
| Press.
HE-I think you love me- Am L
right? She-No, sir, you are left.
Fashion Review.
The man who takes the cake
| thinks he is only receiving his des-
sert Boston Transcript.
PHYSICIANS are made, not born
no boy ever yet took naturally to
| medicine. -Elmira Gazette.
Ii is cruel to dock horses, but they
| never complain: the victim is no
tail-bearer Buffalo Courier.
A NEWPORT (Ky.) girl married d
fellow seven feet tall. She had loved
Kim long. Plain Dealer.
| LOVE is said to be blind, but it
generally gets there ahead Of the old
| man Just the same. - Galveston
News.
ONLY in rare instances is man
justified in borrowing money to pay
the tax on a dog. - Philadelphia
Press.
IT is the inside way to the wayside
inn which makes the inn popular
among outsiders. - Texas Com
mercial.
AT the electrical examinations:
"What is the best inSuatOr we know
OFF," Candidate - "Poverty." - La
Science Examiner
THERE are two things in the world
| upon which there has never been any
| improvement-the Wheelbarrow and
kissing.
II HEAR Clara has contracted a
mesalliance. ''poor girl. 1t was
only week ago she contracted hay
| fever. "-Detroit Free Press.
MANY a young man has a great
future ahead of him. The great
| difficulty is that it persists in keep
ing there. Washington Star.
How CAN I become ready con-
versationalist? Persuade yourself
| that you have a chronic disease Of
some kind. Buffalo Express.
BuRGLAR-"You money or your
life" Head of the family For
| goodness sake, don't shoot. You'll
wake the baby. "-Detroit Tribune.
WHENEVER you have proposition
| to get something for nothing it will
! pay you to walk around it by the
| furthest route. -Doylestown News.
"PERRY CRATER won't be able to
write any more jokes for good while
now" "Why?" "He fell and broke
his humerus Indianapolis News.
AN editors excuse for discontinue
| ing the publication of his paper was
that everybody else stopped the paper.
and 50 he thought he would.-Tid-
| Bits.
THAT woman has no idea of dis
| lance is known by every husband
who has heard his wife boast how far
she makes her dollars go.-Atchison
| Globe.
BRACE-"I wish my creditors would
| have that sign before them on the
first of every month" Bagley -
"What sign?" Brace - "POst No
! Bills. Puck.
TRAMP-"Madam, / have gone
through many things" Woman
Eyes, and you can go through that
gate again as quick as you can.
Here, Tige."- Drover's Journal.
HE-'If you will give me just
one kiss, I'll never ask you for
another" She-'George, it is bad
enough to tell falsehoOd, without
insulting me at the same time. p
Boston Transcript
NEARLY every druggist in the
large towns of Maine there are only
two exceptions in Augusta is under
Indictment for violation of the liquor
law. This shows how it is winked
at.--Philadelphia Ledger.
Nh. BINKs-"Why so unhappy?"
Mrs. Binks--I hate that Mrs. Mex
door with a deadly hate and I'm per-
fectly misera bic over it" Mr.. Binks
-"She doesn't know it," Mrs. Binks
-"That's why I'm unhappy. New
York Weekly.
HIS FIRST RESTAURANT DINNER. -
Waiter-"You're not gwine t. forgit
de waitah, sah?" Silas Haymow-
"Not much. I never forgits face
after I've once seed it. If yer ever:
up near Bristol, drop in. Pll be glad
to see yer. Puck.
FoGG1Ns, SR.-"My son, youeknowh
that of all things / hate falsehood.
And you, sir, have had the face to
tell me it was a quarter Of IL when
you came home last night, when l
myself heard the clock strike 3 as
you entered What can you say for
YOURSELF" Foggins, Jr.-"Fjgures
may lie, but am truth itself, and if
nv memory fails me not | have al
ways been taught, even by you, that
three is a quarter OF twelve. Go
lumbia Spectator.