The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-06-22
THOUGHT 1T WAS THE soRosls.
Unhappy Experience of q Man Lured by
Hot Wafies and Sirup.

Unhappy Experience of o Man Lured by
| Hot Wafies and Sirup.
He was one of the holdovers from the
| naval review and evidently from the
/ provinces. His clothes were black and
shiny, his shoes large and square-toed,
| and his collar and necktie had a loose
| and easy fit that suggested rural laun-
/ dering and domestic manufacture. He
| had passed up Fifth avenue with a copy
| of the Worlds map in his hand and had
| carefully noted the principal buildings
| along that famous thoroughfare. In
| front of the woman's exchange he came
| to dead halt. An attractive sign had
caught his eye: Hot Waffies and
Sirup." Now if anything could appeal
| to a warm and dusty and tired gentle
man from the provinces at l p. m. it
was hot waffies and strip. And there
was something about the name "Wo-
mans Exchange" that cheered and en-
couraged him. 1t suggested bower
of peace and rest, an air of refinement,
clean tablecloths, neat and personable
young women in dainty caps and
aprons, home cooking, quick service.
moderate charges, no tips, and no shaw
| ing--consequently no strikes. SO the
stranger entered gayly, as "A wandering
spirit exhausted by trip through
space might enter paradise.
1.-The middle of the day at the woman's
Exchange is not conducive TO the most
perfect state of privacy and rest. 1t is
that hour when women, tired and
venomous from an arduous morning of
shopping, gather together TO eat spoon
victuals and such assortment of wo-
mans food as does not conflict with
steady conversation and a flow of per-
sonal feminine remarks. These re-
marks cover an immense amount of
territory, ranging from sprightly
repartee to jagged invective, compre-
hending not only the morals, customs
and dress of the feminine sex, but per-
sonal allusion to all men who come
within the range of the feminine
vision. On this occasion the gathering
had been a little more critical than
usual, and the unlucky she who came
in last was subjected to an overhauling
that left her without raiment, and pos
sibly without character.
Such was the condition of affairs
when the unsuspecting man walked
into the trap. 1t is not an easy thing
to enter any sort of restaurant at any
time, but to plump down suddenly into
a convention of women, to realize that
you are alone and helpless in a hostile
country, to feel that fifty pairs of
scornful and inimicai feminine eyes
are fastened upon you, is a terrible ex-
perience. The aisle was perfectly
clear, but little to the right was an
empty chair. Why man should
swerve from the track, give lurch
and knock over that chair can be an
swered only by the proposition, put
yourself in his place. A litter went
over the room and the man, very hot
and very uncomfortable, lurched on
and sank into a seat in the far corner.
1t is well known to ornithologists that
doves in the midst of family quarrel
will stop their contention and make
cause against a common enemy.
So these women for a time forgot
their own little differences and united
to make the unlucky man more misera-
ble even than the natural circum-
stances would justify. They marveled
at his presence; they criticised his APP
pearance: they made little insinuations
and flippant and irreverent remarks
that penetrated to his corner and added
to the horror of his situation. And it
SO fortuned that when a sudden and
abrupt silence fell over the assembly
the unhappy man would drop a fork or
spoon with an awful crash, and every
woman would turn and glare at him,
and ripple of hooking laughter would
be waited to his agonized consciousness.
The purpose of this narration is not
to gloat over the suff erings of this
wretched man, not to describe in detail
the progress of the cons umption of his
hot watfies and sirup. The memory of
which he will carry to his grave, The
purpose is raore philanthropic, more in
accord with human impulses. 1t is
note of friendly warning to other men
to beware when three or four or more
women are gathered together in one
place. The women of New York have
long chafed under masculine restric-
ton that shuts them out or hotels and
restaurants save at certain specified :
hours, and when the opportunity pre-
sents itself to take a sweet and terrible
revenge they embrace it hungrily. Woe
to the man, urban or provincial, who
invades woman's dining-room unless
protected by guard of feminine skirts.
Better for that man to conquer his APP
L -,
tempt diet of less terri flying accom-
paniments
But as the afternoon wore away and
the sun took on a deserted appearance,
the gentleman in evidence timidly
emerged from his corner, paid his bill
and ventured
Guess | got into the wrong place
and struck the Sorosis bgosh. N. y.
World.