The Portland daily press., 1893-10-25
DR.. CARAWAI.

For three mortal months the editor Of
The Wagon Tire Warwhoop had been
calling for physician. Il is not meant to
be implied that for this length of time the
able journalist had been rolling about the
floor Of his Office in violent pain, imploring
the general public to call medical man to
his relief, but that he had for three months
been using the valuable space of The War
whoop to direct attention to the fact that
there was no doctor in Wagon Tire, and
that there was an urgent demand for one
At last his altruistic efforts were rewarded.
One day in August a tall, fimsy young
man wearing a white tie and carrying a
battered and old fashioned patent leather
bag (somebody suggested that the patent
had expired) alighted from the train and
looked about with an air as if he might
stay or might walk, back into the car and
go on. Before he could do the latter the
editor of The Warwhoop stepped up to
him, grasped mis- hand and asked him what
his name might be, where he might be
from and what he might be going to do in
Wagon Tire. A great wave of the quintes-
sence Of refined joy welled up in the edito-
rial bosom when the fimsy young man re-
piled that he was the long prayed for ply
stefan. Without word the journalist
seized the decaying bag, and holding it in
both hands before him as if it were pot of
boiling water led the way to the Frontier
hotel.
When The Warwhoop appeared the next
day, it announced that, thanks to our SUI
perhuman efforts for the good Of the city, a
physician has located in our midst at last.
He is DR.. Benedict Caraway, M. D., lately
graduated from the Flunkmour Medical
college of Chicago. DR.. Caraway informs
us that he will make speciality of danger
Gus diseases" The young man secured an
office in the back part Of the One Price
pharmacy and awaited practice.
Dr. CaraWay was not man to inspire
confidence. He was a callow youth, with
out understanding of medicine or acquaint-
ance with the human system. He never
laughed, but Yves much given to smiling
and looking away at the horizon, an astro-
nomical appurtenance which at Wagon
Tire was situated about 20 miles distant to
any point Of the compass. Though appar-
emily weak and irresolute, when consulted
professionally he took hold of the case with
firm hand. His prescriptions were in
variably long and caused the owner Of the
One Price pharmacy to whistle softly to
himself as he compounded them and cast
up the charge with the aid of lead pencil.
When asked privately by somewhat
wavering patient as to his opinion of DR..
Caraway's ability, this amiable chemist re-
piled: "Oh, Doc amt none of your big.
gilt edged physicians of course, but when
you want plain, honest treatment for
straightforward disease which is on the
vital it pretends to be on he can give it to
you as well as the next one. With dis
ease that is willing to fight fair Doc is all
o. K" The man got the prescription re-
filed and went away bordering deeply
The young man soon had a large practice
for there was no other doctor within 80
miles. Besides, the burning local patriot
ism of Wagon Tire, fostered by 1.-THE War
whoop," caused the people to follow the
maxim to ''patronize home industry at
any cost. The town at the time was en-
gagged in a life and death struggle with Red
Bird City for supremacy in county capital
matters, it being highly probable that the
larger place would carry off the prize at
election. But it was soon seen that the lib
eral employment of young DR.. Caraway
was doing more hurt than good in this race
with the rival town.
Another old settler and prominent citi-
zen has gone to that bourne from which no.
body ever returns" was the constantly re-
curing announcement Of The Warwhoop.
"Our late fellow Citizen" the account
would pathetically conclude, twas attend
ed in his last sickness by Wagon Tires
skillful physician Dr. Benedict Caraway,
M. D. Hick jacet. Requiespace in scat"
1t was seen that the price being paid for the
ability to faunt doctor in the face of the
physicianless Red Bird was too high. A
public meeting was called to consider the
dilemma.
Nothing was ever done in Wagon Tire
without public meeting, in which respect
it resem bled Red Bird City and all other
territorial towns. The people assembled in
Calliope hall, above the Square Dealing
Hardware store. Everybody in town was
present except DR.. Caraway, who did not
come out of sense of delicacy. A chair
man and secretary were elected, and after
the expenditure of a considerable amount
Of eloquence the following resolutions
were adopted:
Whereas, DR.. Benedict Caraway, M. D.,
late graduate of the Flunkmour Medical COL
lege of Chicago recently settled in our midst;
and
Whereas, We have extended to him all the
support in our power, calling upon him for
treatment many times when it was not needed,
both In the case eff small temporary sjcknesses
and in that of diseases of long standing, which
were known to be beneficial rather thfln other
wise; and
Whereas, We could formerly point it'll pride
to an almost total absence in Wagon Tire of
deaths from natural causes, the fell DESTROYER
coming among us only when summoned by
the unfortunate baSk of the six shooter or the
beneficial moose Of our efficient metropolitan
improvement committee, we are now, oa the
contrary, daily reminded that in the midst of
life we are in death by seeing the said DR..
Benedict Caraway. NJ. D., pursuing his depopu-
lating rounds in our city. Therefore, viewing
with alarm the present deplorable state of af
fairs, be it
Resolved, That the said Dr. Benedict Cara
way, M. D., be hereby prohibited from prac-
uclng his profession upon human beings and
compelled to confne his attention to horses.
mules, cattle, swine and citizens of Red Bird
City.