The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1893-10-22
Should Deny Themselves, hut Not to
the Extent of Self-Enacement.

Harper's Bazaar.
That parents should deny themselves
superfiuities for the sake of their children
Is not in the least to their credit; II is meet.
right, and their boJnden duty. That they
should give their children better advantages
than they had themselves is equally, in the
nature of things. their proper line OF con-
advance all that il can bestow of prepara-
ton. Of culture, of opportunity, and OF priv
iege. The self-denial of parents is the
tribute the race demands; 1t is not especial
ly notable nor particularly praiseworthy, be-
cause it is the appointed and expected role
which is given to people when they take up
on them the obligations of parenthood.
But sef-denial on the part of parents is
one thing. and self-effacement quite an
other. The plain man and the plain woman
who have scrimped and stinted and saved,
contrived. managed, risen early and sat up
late to send their sons and daughters TO
college. to educate them literally, TO place
them. well in the world, are not TO be set
aside as OF small account when their chill
dren arrive at maturity.
They are wrong to allow themselves to be
pushed to the wall, set in the background,
as they sometimes are. The mother may
not know Euclid, or have the faintest ac-
her daughter plays may be Chinese puz-
zle TO her comprehension; but she does
know whole world of science not neces-
sarily in books, to which her daughter can
gain no clew in the class room. since life
must be the teacher. The father may speak
vocabulary. but he has the shrewdness, the
acquaintance with men, which come only
by intercourse with ones fellows. by joy
and sorrow, and the different phases
through whfch all pass who live long
enough. 1t should be no part Of the self
denial of parents to do without the defer
ence, the tenderness, the regard, of those
whom they have brought up.
One finds ii oftener in comparatively
new country than in the more conventional
seem to have been outgrown by their chill
dren. There are farm houses in our from
tier States where women, not vet middle
aged, have put on gray hairs and wrinkles.
lost the beauty and elasticity OF youth
years before their time, resignedly accept
ing privation and toll, and loneliness to
give. their girls a chance. If the girls are
noble, sweet-natured and true they Will
bold the dear mother in the greatest OF es-
TEEN because Of all that she has done for
them. Far from entertaining feeling OK
pride or of complacency, they will repay
the beautiful self-denial of their parents by
a devotion which never knows a shade or
dininution. 1t is an ignoble nature alone
which is capable of feeling ashamed or
those who belong TO ones kith and kin on
account of any simplicity OF manner or
plainness of speech. Self-denial must not
become self-effacement.
A few years ago IL was not uncommon 10
find the parents OF young people rather
rooms given Up to the youthful daughters
and their friends, while the mother ana
father sat by themselves in a basement
dining room, or their own chamber. A bet
ter state of things obtains now. and young
people have learned that society Is crude
and unsatisfactory in which parents have
not their fitting place.