The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-04-16

tenn, "a likely story. don't believe IS
word of It'll" 81
Walk home!' said my wife an
mothcr-in-lnw together; you don't d Is
serve to have u liome."
''Or n wife either" continued the
derby lady.
"NIuch less twins" concluded tie
daughter IS
l covered before tie blast and trieI
10 hioe my face like n dissipatcd oSE
trlch' Dehnd the coifee-urn. HostilitieEs
were abandoned for few minutes dui&
ing the entrance of the maid, bcsrin Is
tho matutinal bacon, but were resumej&
with renewed yigor in consequence Oh
one of the twins-I don't know which,
but it was the one with The badost head
and vicious look in his cyc-gettingE
his fist damned into the milk jug, andE
being rescued with much difficulty an1E
the loss of the greater part OF its conf
tents. fS
"a nice father you arc!" said myE
mothcr-in-law. breaking out again. alE
tho other twin, who had, no douHE
with the best intentions, been eudeaNE
oring to cut his teeth on the handle OH
fork, accidentally hit himself in thsE
eye, and sent upa howl of anguish tds
the heavens! do you want to see thdE
poor children murdered before you1E
very eyes, and not SO much as move 81
finger to help them? Do leave off starr
ing like Il born fool. and hold the chilli
drcn for u moment while your wifek
pours out the coffee
| obcycd; that is to say, the twoE
squirning, squcaling masses of flabbyE
humanity were deposited one on eac!IE
knee. AS | was mcditating in SimpIE
kins interests, gagging my mothcr-iniI
law with the tablccloth and depositinef
the twins in the coal scuttlc, n divcrlb
sion was occasioncd by the former cxif
claiming: II
"Ah. there he goes A nice. quietE
gcntlcmanly fellow. He would ncverE
stop out all night playing cards until
goodness knows what time, and wearI
ing his Wits into fiddle strings! That's
the one YOU ought to have marriedf
Roberta"
looked and beheld- myself. my
own head and shoulders, which weraE
all that could be seen Of me over thel
top OF the fence passing the house, evil
IDENTIFY on my way to the station. Byf
Jovc. there was in my light overcoltI
and top hat. looking. as could not hel "A
rcmarking, not Mt all bad loollingb
chap and worth two of Simpkins anvil
day. tried hard with my whole heard
and soul, 10 will myself back again [
but it was no go. So She ought 10 havef
married hiIu-thas is to say, mc-oughtI
She? Not if that is TO say. hc-s
knew il. No, indeed. that is. tlal
other fcllow-had had n lucky escape,
and poor old Simpliins had been tho
victim instead. Who would ever have
thought. though. that Roberta Tom
Inns would have turned out such IL ter
maSant or that Mrs. r., on the death,
of her husband. would come and quar- 4
ter herself on her unfortunate son-in-
law, making his lifc-with the aid OIL
the twins-a howiing wilderness, Inl
the CONSERVATION and bcwildcrmcntl
caused by the unexpected appcnrancol
of somebody else pretending to bH me,
unfortunately allowed the bald hcadeu
twin to anoint himself plcntifully with
the mustard, with distressing results
"lnhuman wrctch!" shriel,cd my
motlicrin-law. Would you try to de.
stroy your own innocent offspring?
Give him to me, sir! You are n brute,
Something within reused me to sud.
den fury
"Confonnd the twinsr' I cried, selling
hold of them by their petticoats. WHO
wants twins? don't"
swung them in the air-their skulls
came together with IL violent crash; I
heard them crack like cggshcils amid
chorus of shrieks from their female
relatives
Now, then, are yer a-goin' to tell me
where to drive yer to or not?" There
was rush of cold air upon my face lis
] once more regained consciousness
The cabman had opened the door OF the
cab and was confronting me with de-
termination written upon his brow.
Ere ave bin a-drivin' of yer about
foi. the last hour an Il 'alf, an not q
word o direction can git out O yer,
an I'm tired of it, ] am"
Where was /? Who was I? How
was Simp!lins or myself? And whera
were the massacrcd innocents? felt
myself carefully all over, and came to
the conclusion that was back in my
own body again. There was TO corn
on my right foot it was evident. then,
that my spirit had returned 10 its cl.:.
ginal clay tenement. / concluded 10
get out and walk, and, having paid .
most cxorbitant fare, / proceeded TO
take the rest of my way home on foot.
l had passed through most remark
able experience, and completely proved
the truth and practicabiliiy of Davis
theory with regard to the doctrine OF
transmigration. But / didn't want it
to occur again; the experiment had
proved completely successful, but de-
cide'iiy unpleasant pitied SimplSins