St. Paul daily globe., 1893-12-10
DARWINIsM AMONG MONKEYS

Prof. Garner, who has just been to
Africa and learned the monkey Ian
guage, will have much to tell us of
monkey literature and monkey phil
osophy.
Perhaps the professor will pardon me
for giving the following extract from
the advance sheets of his forthcoming
book on The Literature, Art, Science
and Philosophy of Monkeydom."
1.-The theory of evolution has come to
be partially accepted among monkeys.
1t is simply Darwin's theory of evolu-
tion reversed. Darwin believed that
man was gradually evolved from the
monkey. and by successive stages of
development has reached his present
advanced level.
"Nlwrad. the great monkey evolu-
zionist, OH the contrary. taught that the
monkey was gradually evolved from
the man, and by successive stages of
development finally reached his pres
ent lofty position in the scale of teing.
"'YeS,' says NIWrad, in the conclud-
Ing argument of his great work, there
is no doubt in my mind that the mon
key, the acme and crown of creation,
the transcendant elimination of all
natures works, the paragon of the uni
verse, has descended from that inferior,
chattering and degraded creature
man.
This theory, when it was first pro-
mulgated by Niwrad, was bitterly as
sailed. What. its opponents said, the
noble monkey, graceful as god in his
movements, whose mien is dignity, and
whose countenance is radiant with
beauty, whose glance is significant with
Intellect, and who bears within himself
the qulntessence of all natures choic-
est gifts-this transcendant being de-
Scended from that awkward, palIid
creature called man, who is SO utterly
ashamed of himself that he covers HIM
self up with the skins of dead cows. the
hair of sheep, the stuffY fiber of the
cotton plant and the entrails of the
silkworm! What, that paragon of ami
| mails, that apex and elimination OF
creation, that mighty climax of the gods,
| the monkey, the consummate flower of
| all the animate universe, descended
from creature who is so ashamed of
himself that he conceals himself by an
| artificial covering! Never! The very
| thought is an impietyP
80 Niwrad'S theory, like Darwin's,
was received with universal contempt.
Why its opponents said, man is the
| most awkward OF all created beings.
He cannot even dig hole in the ground
| with his own paws. His front paws
indeed are absolutely useless for any
| purpose whatever, as far as any monkey
| has yet been able to discover. He can
not walk upon them and gets over the
ground on his hind paws by awkwardly
| putting one prong before the other. If
| anybody is foolish enough to think that
| the monkey descended from man, let
| him observe a man climb tree. It is
| sight to make the angels weep. And
after he has climed the tree he has no
| sign of tail to hang down by. The
monkey is symmetrical and complete.
Man is the great unfinished.
And all the evidence we are able to
gather shows that man himself is per-
fectly aware that his race is failure.
And so they are trying to kill each
other on gigantic scale. They keep
tremendous armies, simply for the pur-
pose of killing each other; and it is the
opinion of our best chronological stu
dents that they do this because they are
so dissatisfied with themselves that they
hope, III this manner, TO eXtirpate the
race. 1t is mOnstrosity of absurdty to
attempt to prove that the monkey
descended from creatures like these.
But still the persistent Niwrad (Which
name, oddly enough, is simply Darwin
spelled backWards) still perseveres in
his remarkable theory. But it is meet
ing with very slow acceptance in