St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-11-05


down them nice weeds fOr?'
Ihls last remark was addressed to a
dog with curious apparatus attached
to his tail, who just then cane boundin'
up through the weeds to lick his mas
ter's hand.
Say, john" asked the squire.
whats that contriYance OH that dog S
tail?''
oh. that's my celebrated dog-tail
motor"
What's it for?,
What's it for. W'y,man alive.it's to
'bolish labor. It's the biggest invention
you ever see, an in less than five years
1t will 'bolsh all work"
How can that be?''
FOUR
Explain"
wall, you see there's 65.O0O.0OO peo-
pie In this country, an it will average,
reckon, one dog 10 ev'ry persOn-Pve
got seven-an' ev'ry dog has got tail,
an ev'ry dog ways his tail at least sixty
tlmeS minute, and that's thirty-six
hundred times an hour, or thirty-six
thousan' times in ten-hour day."
We'll, what of it?''
why, can't you see. Squire, that
ev,ry time dos ways his tail he puts
out strength enough to lift pound,
that is thlrty-six thousan' pounds, or
eighteen tons a day."
well, we'll what of it?''
wall. you don't suppose Pm SIGH a
fool as to let all this strength go waste,
90 we? WY, there's siXty-five million
dogs in this country Vaughn their tails
ev,ry day an wastin' energy 'nough to
lift two million three hundred an forty
thousan' pounds. an nobody. as fur as 1
ever heerd, has ever made the least OBJ
lection. It's scandalous! It's out
rageous. an | petest agin' it,
We'll, what are you goin' to do about
do about it? Put an end to it. Stop
the whole thing mighty quick. WY, in
less than two years purpose to put
one OF my Bascom's celebrated dogtali
motors onto ev'ry dog in America. Ey'ry
time their tail ways volt of Electricity
VIII be generated in the motor.
an wire between the tails
an a big central station in Wash
lngton will kerry all this force to head
quarters, witch will then distribit it
'roun' in ekil quantities to the hull
country, an all the factories, saWmillS,
foundrleS, steam engines an locomotives
In the country will be run by doS-tail
power"
Big scheme"
Big! Wall rather guess. Wy, this
ere is the real secret of perpetual mo-
ton witch men have been huntin' for SO
long, but nobody foun' till discovere d
1t. Ihls is genoolne perpetual motion,
Tor dog never stoyS Vaughn his tail
till the tail or the dog wears out. 'Taint
the Mckinley bill. nor free silver that
this country needs; its my dog-tail mo.
10 yUh IN,
all you've got to do is to jest catch the
dogs am make 'em hop still vile you
hitch the motor on, am then connect
with Washington by wire"
Big scheme, john"
"1 eS, an you can carry the principle
further. You can hitch the motor to
babies, who are allus kickin' an squirm.
ram make 'em rock their own cradles
Hitch it to mans chair, vile he's
eatin' his breakfast, an he'll store up
enough energy in the motor to wash the
dishes when he gifts through. Hitch il
to small boys, VITO are allus dancin' an
Jumpin' an then connect with SeWin'
machine an make 'em mend their own
clO'eS."
''Great idea.''
''Ye s, but you can kerry it further
Wen a cow cheWs her cud, accOrdin' &c
my calkerlations, she wastes hundred
pounds Of energy ey'ry night. I'm goin
to have one of my dog-tail motors
hitched to ev'ry cows jaw, hitched te
ev'ry sleeps tail, hitched to every"
Got any other inventions, John?"
IVY, lots on 'em. [ expect in two OF
three months to git my invention fol
! maxim bread out of soil ON the market.
wy here's people starvin' an treadin'
bread under their feet with eV'ry STEP
they take, All the food i'll the world
grows out er dirt. If straw of wheat
| or stalk of corn can find this food. WY,
| OF couse, l can. I've got as much sense
l guess, as cabbage or currant bush.
l cam
How much do you expect to make
| out of your inventions, John?'
Twelve million dollars year."
pretty big figures, John, but | hope
| your dreams will be realized"
Course they will. But you amt
goin' yit, Squirrel"
| Yes, | must.'
"Say. squire, fore you go I've got &
very important proposition to make tc
to ye-one on witch my whole future
| success hinges?''
well, what is it?"
| 81 want to borry so cents of We for q
few weeks, until git my dog-tail motor
| on the Market"
Saw. hn0A 7rA.