Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-06-17
THE MAN WHO KNOWS 1T ALL.
One Phase Assumed by This Offensive Typ
of Individual.

~
of Individual.
"There is man know who bores me ex-
tremely," said Noodles las: night at the Piaty-
pus Club. FOR long time it was mystery
to me how he got his living. but 1 have grad
ually formed notion on the subject He is
one of those fellows who possess a superior
knowledge of about pretty nearly everything. If
you have just purchased an article he says: why
didn't you let me know? l could have got
ii for You better and cheaper
1T doesn't matter n particle what the thing
may bet is always the same way On nv
way down the street TO buy hat one day met
him. Incautiousiy / told him of my GRAND.
All, said he, Il can take you to a place where
they have the most stylish hats in town and. il
introduce you, you Will get percentage OF
the price SO L went with him and got the hat.
1t was a good one, but nothing extra for quality
or cheapness.
Another time he took me to his tailor to get
a suit of clothes. He let me know that his in
fiuence with the shop worth difference of
at least Is per cent on the price. never asked
mm how it WAS that he had such pull at the
establishments of SO many different tradesmen,
but it was always SO. There was not an i'm
aginable article of merchandise which he could
not obtain for himself or friend at considerably
less than the regular market value. He would
always introduce me in patronizing way as Il
person of his own intimate acquaintance, stat
ing that a favor done to me was equal from
his point OF view. TO one conferred upon him
| self.
II suppose that on different occasions pur-
chased as many as dozen things of various
sorts under his guidance and patronage l got
| so accustomed to it that actually began to feel
doubtful OF my ability to make any sort of
| small investment on my own hook. IL this
| man met me down town and saw that l
| had pair of shoes on he would ask
4 r,.ar vha,, II 4tA,. has 7
| them. Then he would shake his head sor-
| rowfully and remark: 'pshaw, could have
| taken you to place where you could have got
the same shoes for dollar and IA half less 1t
was the same with walking stick. meerschaum
| pipe or what not.
''It was only BY an accident that learned
| the true inwardness OF the whole business. 1
found that this friend of mine acted.,s a sort of
commission broker IN n small way on his own
account. When he took me to shop to buy a
hat he received from 30 cents to 81 from the
| merchant as "a recompense for fetching the
customer. 1t was exactly the same way with
| the tailor, the shoemaker and the dealer in
| pipes. He had established private relations
with them all on like basis and he was ac-
| customed to work every other guileiess person
just as he did me. Oscourse, when got on to
the game quit, and l notice that he makes no
effort to tackle me usually when meet OH the
| street nowadays.
1T shows how green am that, after having
been undeceived in this matter | should have
permitted myself TO drop into another trap.
| just before the recent presidential election
CHANGED to come across this in beer
saloon. where he was par.aking literally of the
free lunch. He offered to bet me a quart of
champagne that Harrison would succeed him
self i'll the White House. l promptly took him
up, and q memorandum was made of the wager
or course. l won. On the day after the cleo
ton be said: Well you got me. But l have n
suggestion to make. quart of champagne
doesn't 20 very far. You put another bottle
with it, come to my rooms tomorrow evening
and we will have a blow out. | will invite two
or three of the boys. What do you sav?'
Il saiG all right. He suggested that it would
be good plan that he should buy the cham
payne, inasmuch as he knew where to get the
best at a reasonable price To that l assented
also. On the evening of the next day helped
drink the wine in company with some friends
of his. We also had crackers and cheese.
day or two later l asked him how much
owed for the bottle had contributed and he
said that So would be correct. / paid it with
out a murmur; bat, as matter of fact / could
have bought the bottle of champagne for 50 nj
the grocers. He charged me restaurant price
l am reasonably confident that he did not paw
more than 50 for both bottles. Thus, though
had won the bet, paid not only for the bottle
wagered. but for n second bottle besides
This friend Of mine has had more to do
with bottled goods than Is conducive to his
health. / met him the other day on nv wav
through Lafayette Square. He beckoned to me
and engaged me in conversation for some mo-
ments though he did not seem to have ANYTHING
in particular TO say. told him that was in a
hurry; but still he kept me buttonholed. saying
that he would accompany me presently. AT
length asked him why, if he was coming he ,iid
not do so without further delay. In response lie
pointed down the path with his stick and said
gravely: AS soon a. that hippopotamus gets
out of the way will accompany you.
an hiy,,,n ,,,fo hat 4
clined to wait"
IL Judge KimbalIs court today Mrs. Mary
Maligan forfeited So on charge OF permitting