The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-09-09
A CONFORMING REILLY.

'"i'iy. IA aiiaiu they VIII tiiuh Ia
not dignlfed enough.
He-Oh. no, the girls will take to you
directly.
She-Which one shall like bestl
He-My youngest sister, Flossie, !
think. She's an awfully silly little
thing, and I'm sure you'll get on capi-
tally together. Truth.
NOT A ROMANCE.
Locked in her room, five times a day
She sets treasured gift before her,
And sits and dreams the hours away,
Her fond gaze that of an adorer.
What memory does the treasure bring
That she should count it dear and
dearerl
Is there a love tale in the thingl
Not quite It's just her largest mir
ror.
-[Chicago Record.
BILKISs IN PAIN.
Mr.. Bilkins-Ouch, Woo! Mhoop!
l can't stand this toothache any longer.
Hurry round to DR.. Pullem's at once.
Mrs. Bilkins-Welll
Mr.. Bilkins-If-if he isn't in. tell
him to come and pull this TOOTH New
York Weekly.
PAPA's OPINIONS on EDUCATION.
Little Dick-I told the teacher you
didn't remember half the things you
studied at school.
Papa-I am glad you did. There is
no use in all this stufling, and the teach
.l.N % hnt IL. l.a
say?
Little DiclI-She said she guessed /
was chip o. the ole block Good
News.
TOO MUCH FOR ONE WHEEL.
'Look here, young man." said the
medical practitioner, " if you ride
wheel so much you'll get Kyphosis
Bicyclistarum.'
"On this wheell"
"Yes, SIR"
"Well," replied the wheelman, "if
do, one of us will have TO get off and
walk. - Washington Star.
OUT OF POLITICS.
Foreign Visitor-You have a glorious
country here, and fairly revel in the
blessings of freedom, Supposed
Mr.. Crossroads-Wall, as to that, we
don't take much interest in politics up
our way. The post-office don't half pay
expenses, and so all parties patriotically
agreed to retire from the political field
and let soldiers widow have it.-[New
York Weekly.
MAY HAVE BEEN RIGHT AFTER ALL.
"My! Jingleberry, what cash you
have in your cheek!'
'It is pretty bad"
"How did you get itr
Shaving"
"You must have an idiot for bar
ber."
Don't you call me an idiot"
81 didn't"
eyes, you did. I shave myself ~
lHarper's Bazar.
Mrs. Gumbleton-Oh, doctor! I'm
afraid l swallowed my false teeth in my
sleep!
Dr. Wagg-Don't be alarmed, my dear
madam. Do you feel a gnawing sensa-
tionl- Puck.
THE REToRT COURTEOUS.
MADAM" said the gypsy, "let rue
tell your fortune?"
mo; go away" snapped the elder
female at the door.
Pardon returned the gypsy; ~
had not noticed that madam's fortune had
been told years ago. ~ Judge.
THE BRIGHT EIDE OF IT.
Eastern Capitalist-You don't seem to
have many people here.
Boomtown Land Agent-But think of
the unrivaled opportunities that gives for
growth Of population"
oSE OF HER PLIGHTED LOVERS.
Maud-How dreadfully awkward!
Elaine-What's awkwardl
Maud-Tm engaged to that man we
Just passed and can't think of his name.
PLEASANT NOTE.
Wife "a widow newly married)-Do
you speak German9
Husband-Oh, yes.
swell, occasionally address me in that
language"
why"
'It will remind me of my first dear
husband. ."-lTexas Siftings.
GETTING TOO SERIOUS.
Elaine-Why did you break off your
engagement with Georgel
Gladys-Iou see. we were forced to
be together a good deal, and l found l
was getting fond of him.-[Chicago Re-
ord.