The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-05-19
JUDGE CEPHAS.

happening SOOH dICer The close OF the
war to ride along the road past "Old Pop
Castle" l observed a large and excited
concourse of colored people standing u n
der the famous oak at that place. Upon
approaching and making inquiry I
learned that Uncle Cephas-now Squire
Bolden-who, along with some others Of
his race, had recently been appointed
magistrate, was about to hold his first
court.
Elbowing my way through the dense
crowd till I reached and mounted one of
the gnarled roots Of the oak, l was en-
abled to overlook the sea of heads and
survey the court. On the safest corner of
a very unsteady shuck frame was perched
the presiding magistrate, his ebony fore
head, which bowed back without limit
over his ball pate, covered with an ap.
propriate frown. The rest Of the frame
held the six jurymen, who leaned against
or sat upon it according to each ones
confidence in its stability. The prisoner,
a vagabondish but harmless
on whose crow black face fright was i'm
printed in an ashy cast, was wrapped up
in ropes and placed in the middle of the
shuck frame for safe keeping.
l had scarcely gained my position and
taken in the surroundings when the court
opened.
de court I'M now adjourned en- will
perceed to bizness," cried Uncle Cephas
in a loud voice as he removed his hat
and dropped it on the ground. "Let
whomsomedever gwT pussycute dis pus-
u hyere in de .shuck frame now speak
up er f'rever hole his peace!" he contin-
ued with solemnity.
A young mulatto, the smartness of
whose dress eliminated in a highly
glazed paper collar, slowly arose from
n of the oak roots, cleared his throat
in the most approved legal fashion and
announced that he had been engaged to
conduct the prosecution.
"Well den. shoot, Luke, er give up de
gum" exclaimed the court after the coun-
sci had wasted a good while fumbling
through his pockets in a perfunctory
manner.
"Mister Magistrate en- genermen OBJ de
jury" began the prosecutor after this
warning, you am dissembled tergedder
hyere dis Fzirty day under dis blue sky
en- desc green leabes to deform one err de
highes' juties er freemuns en- Teller Cit
zens."
"De gentermuns better not take quite
SIGH er big chip, en- chop er II c~loseter
to de line" put in the court.
"You am dissembled tergedder," con-
tinued the counsel, in no wise abashed,
''hyere to see dat err pussun dat needs
jestice wess'n anybody in de succle er
my whole intelligence gifts hit, en- gifts er
plenny oh it, heaped up, sheken down,
squashed in en- runnin ober. En- ef-ef
de law didn' inquire dat some confusions
must perceed out'n de mouf er de pussy
cutter, ev'y word dat would be necessary
would be, 'Hyere's Nickydemus en- OATS
de linn er grapevine pointing to a stout
grapevine which lay on the frame near
the magistrate. "Ev'body knows he's
done broke ev'y law dat been made sence
dey fust started to maxim laws, sides all
sights en- stacks I'm UNI dat nebber al
been made. He's broke UNI straight way,
en- broke UNI sideways, en- broke EN- cross
ways, en- broke um sloperdicler, en- broke
UNI puppendicler, uppendicler, downen-
dicler, en- roun'endicler twel he's nately
wo' UNI out to er FRAGILE.
"But es de law do inquire some co1Nu-
sions to perceed fun de mouf er de pus-
sycuttin lyyer, I will perceed. Fustly,
who is dat In de shukk frame? Nicky-
demus Wagstaff! What is he excused
OBJ? Ev'ything in God Ermighty's worl
'cep'n one theng, en- dat is dom right.
Eben de biggis't lier 'twixt Roanoke en-
Tar river never excused him er dom dat.
"WhoU come to yer house en- holler
tull he'll make yer walk two miles from
yer work en- nebbe wade de crick, en-
den des want to borry 5 cents? Who en-
gin er thousin reasons why yer mus len
him er dollar, en- den turn roun en- gin
ten thousan wy he ca pay it? Who en-
make de biggis' promus N de Titles kerr
formence in de Nunited States? Who
en- outargyfy Daniel Webster hisself
when he wants to git holt er yer thengs,
en- den outargyfy him ergin when yer
tries to bre'k dat holt?
who is de lazis', lyinist, eatinis', out
landishis', ~worryinis' niger avn dis
side OBJ de river? Who aggyvates en-
'sturbs de neighborhood till dey don
know dar heels from dar head? Ergin
l axes yer who ewes ev'body in twelb
miles er dis place er furder eff he ranges
furder? Who en- looks into yer min en-
tell ter minute how lawng it takes yer
furgit dat las 25 cents he borrid, en- den
step right up en- borry er nudder one?
Nickydemus! En- now who ken be spar'd
de bes en- missed de less? Nickydemus."
The magistrate, who for some time
had been extremely busy trimming the
knots from the grapevine with his peck
etknife and twisting it into suppleness,
now paused and delivered the following|
charge:
"Gentlemuns OBJ de jury, you's hyeard
enough to hang er whole cuppen( Cow
penn full er niggers. En- all I'm got to
say is dat pull'n Fodder Time putnigh