Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1893-01-05
sclssored smiles.

scissored Smiles.
THE more liquid a man puts down
his throat the less chance there seems
to be OF drowning his voice. Yonkers
Statesman.
SOME men are born wealthy;
rome men are born great;
But all men are Kicking
Forever at fate
No MAN can stand a drain upon
his resources so well as the farmer,
provided the drain is on wet land. -
Lowell Courier.
IT is running to extremes when
prediction that the comet was going
to make it hot for US is followed by a
snow storm. Washington Star.
LITERARY AUNT--Are you fond OF
Crabbe's tales, Edna? Edna--I don't
know, aunty. I've never eaten them.
but love the meat in Holsters legs.
Truth.
THE Maiden-"Then you find mar
ried life happy?" The Wife-@Yes;
but then l seldom see my husband,
you know. Smith, Gray g. Co.'s
Monthly.
DUKANE-I believe the physician
is right who said cholera is a crime.
Gaswell-That accounts for the effort
being made to arrest it.-Pittsburg
Chronicle.
SATAN-Where does this arrival
hail from? Charon--New York.
Satan-Boil him in oil. We can't
afford to catch the cholera. New
York Herald.
MAMMA-"Why do you put onAspch
airs over that little girl?" Wee
Woman-"Her mother hasn't got
bought teeth Ike you has. "-Street
& Smiths GoodNews. VA
DAUBE-Now, Miss, Hunter, please
look pleasant; that's it-keep that
for a moment until / catch it. There!
now you may resume your natural
expression, if you wish.
PATIENT-"Isn't So rather high for
pulling tooth?" Dentist think
not. Fifty cents for extracting and
$3.50 for gas" Patient-"One fifty
for gas. So that's why you talk so
much. Texas .Siftings.
MoTHER-"Dear me, are you
through shopping? How did you
manage to get back so soon?"
Daughter "a bright girl)-"I told
them to send the change home with
the goods. Street & Smiths Good
News.
Boy (on bridge)-Say, mister, il
you don't look out you'll be fined.
Teamster-Why will l? Boy-That
sign says "walk your horses" don't
it? Teamster- jesse Boy = Well,
yours are standing still. Street &
Smiths Good News.
OLD LADY (reading report of pub.
lie dinneD-"Some of these were
drunk standing" Think of that,
Elizer Jane; so drunk they couldn't
sit down! They must be what them
papers call people. twho stand well in
society. Princeton Tiger.
HE-"The architecture of Europe
would interest me most. She (Da.
kota belle, expatiating on her trayeis)
Eyes, everything is so quaint" He
How did the cathedral of Cologne
impress your" She-"Oh, of course,
that was too sweet for anything. -
Thomas Cat.
THAT man Blobbs is a lucky dog.
sand why?" ale was going through
tannery the other day and fell into
a vat" 81 don't call that luck.
"But he had on his light summer suit,
and when they pulled him out it was
dyed beautiful black and he won't
have to buy any winter clothes. -
Buffalo Express.
JIMMY, wot'S an anarchist" "a
anarchist is Teller wot takes wot's
your'n an keeps wot isn't his'n; ac-
cordin' to them if / was ter take
ev'ry apple an peach from that stand
yonder it'd be all right, cause that
Eyetalian can't eat 'em, and I'd have
a perfect right to 'em!"-"Jimmy,
let's be anarchistsw-Life.
PHYsICIAN-"Th best thing we
can do is to find a healthier location
for our hospital" Hospital Manager
IF all your colleagues were like you
the best thing we could do would be
to shut up our hospital altogether.
Physician = "Oh, you compliment
me-" Hospital Manager-@Yes, for
then we could start a second ceme-
tery."-Exchange.
MIRANDA, when my boy first went
to college they called him a moss
back, and now 1 see by this paper
they're calm him a full-back.
"Can our boy be drinkin', Cyrus?" Il
don't know, but I'll pack my grip
and go right on, and If he is he'll be
called back quicker than creased
MISUNDERSTANDING Dispatch.
TEAcHER-"I have told you of
Louis Kossuth and what he did. !
have also just said that he recently
received a congratulatory address
from the Hungarian diet. Now, who
can tell me what the Hungarian diet
is?" Little by formerly Of Halle
ton, Pa. )-@Most anything that they
can lay their handsoon. "MStreet s
Smiths Good News.
Al, I.,a~o