New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-09-24


ZENAS COLEVILLE'S SALUTATORY.
Young Zenas ColevIlle succeeded in any
thing which he undertook and consequently ne
considered himself admirably qualified to run
newspaper.
Accordingly he started a newspaper in Grass
Vile which lived until 1t was born. and then died.
But there a universal complaint In GrassVhe
that 1t lived too long. 1t never forgave the paper
for its longevity.
But Zenas Coleville himself could not conceive
why a thing so beautiful should die so young
give below Zenas's sautatory to his readers.
I think 1t will be SEEN after reading this, that the
death of "The Grassvle Weekly Banner was per-
fectly excusable:
TO OUR READERS.
"Tbe Grassvlle Weekly Banner" the first issue Of
which we herewith present our readers Is estao-
shed to fill g-feit want NJ. -, ,s,.
journal that the great metropolitan papers pup
shed they are under tns ariIa centres Of
population are conducted upon unnatural abnormal amor
and anomalous principles PgolisneI anp efte and
congested civilization, they fail to appeal 70 me
native heart and intellect of the unsophisteated:
mndeoenerate spontaneous. natural man. What
pIea SOS the pampered enervated and luxurious deni,
lens of New-York Boston and Chicago would isii
genuine soul of inhabitant OF Grassyiie' .l my
great metropolitan journals only know wh a n an-
Seasoned Journalistic spcery Will please the PAM pam
pered. congested intellectual PeptGs Oh se cop;
mental mind outside metropolitan boundaries, 90
sires. They do not UNDERSTAND ""a' '"e pe'p''
The editor of this paper is making no rash and
unconsdered statement. He knows whereof ne as
He himself has sent many adnlrapie arc'. -,
calculated to please the great continental nina 10
and and these same admirable articles have been re-
peatetiiy rejected This statement, improbable as Il
ntaSti b These articles were all in the editors
best style and contained thoughts of unusual beau
~ EXPRESSED in a spirit of more than usual 1erVor
and words of more than usual length ..
1t now gives the editor great pleasure TO announce
Of Ira llp these
will ali be published from week TO week. IN 'hs
Our readers will all have the privilege of seeing
for themselves the gross stupidity and the fatuous
average metropolitan editor. But the principle OF
compensation prevails N me teossu ia
The first Of these rejected articles. The Mystery
let us not be misunderstood. We have quarrel
h H w sd oua But 9 let
this article and judge between us twain ,,,.,.
The pecy va sfa treat the great
political questions that are now agtating the copn,
week ~ avons the grand old party
week p the n0 thet this ad
Unstable political policy will commend itself to All
comprehensive platform is broad enough for them
all to stand upon, and that Mugwnmps, pronln mn,
tionsts Populiss, Republicans and Democrats WI;
each and all. find in us a sincere eulogist we
@ policy as as we we msy here
be allowed to mention that now is the time 10 SUD-
The editor of this journal will identify himself
with all the great moral movements OF the , gay:
moral welfare His religious creed is as broad and
Comprehensive as his political platform and he VIII
s unday With the FIRST Baptist Church, and going
about like religious n pilgrim 1 sa tne the Metho
dist. the Catholic and the Free Thinkers congrega,
make ourselves solid with the churches We are
told that the principal advertisers of this town are
an anna nnd accompshed drysoods merchant the
popular Mr.. Green. who is devoted ana ae ssd
ance upon the various churches and upon the Free
Thinkers congregation will commend Itself 70 tae
good graces Of these sincere ana deVoted auve r.
Users. Internationally once more; II we may oe
permitted the suggestion. we would ih''ha'e 'ha'
The Crassve Weekly Banner which now
waves before for the first time has me largese
circulation of any paper of its age IN THIS or any
Ne trust all OF our readers who now subscribe
for the metropolitan papers. which come, to US.
reekng as they do from the great cities, Will speed
tries and take paper that amounts to something.
In what METROPOLITAN paper can our readers ma q
mysterious Illness of Squire Erastus Pendleton's
dog fun particulars Of both Which are given IN this
In what metropolitan Journal can oe touna sucn
We pause for reply.
WHEN THE OLD CLOCK STRIKES THIRTEEN.
Life will he swelling anthem, with no discord In
the tune.
| In the dim and ranbowed distance OF some thirty
first of June:
Then we'll find the Happy Valleys dressed in ever
lasting green,
| Skied with rich purpureal splendor, when our OLD
clock strikes thirteen.
| We shall glide through halcyon waters, with no la
boring oar to pull,
| When the morning sun is setting and the bright
new moon is full;
| do. In sat "
ing rest
| When the Polar Star is shining at the threshholo
of the West
| We shall find the Enchanted Isands-they are rest
ing over there,
| Where the square peg fits the round hole ana the
round peg fits the square,
They resting in the centre of the worlds third
hemisphere
| When to-day shall catch tomorrow we shall fnd
them; never fear.
swathed in Hesperidean hazes on the mystic sea
they rest.
Twixt the North Pole and the South Pole, just be-
tween the East and West
Let us bravey go to seek Them put our bold prows
out to sea-
All we've got do to find them is to go just where
they be.
| Then We'll hear life's swelling anthem with no dis
| cord In the tune,
And Wen pluck times full fruition that thirty.
| first of June:
And we'll till those Happy Valleys, dressed In ever.
lasting green,
/ Skied with rich purpureal splendor-when our OLD
! clock strikes thirteen.
SAM WALTER FOSS
MR. GREATHEAD rs FARSEETNG