davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Judge.
Miles Nerve 4 Liver Pills.

Act on new principle-regulating the
liver, stomach and bowels through the
nerves: new discovery. DR.. Miles
pills speedy cure billiousness, bad taste,
torpid liver, piles, constipation. I'm
equaled for men, woman, children. Small
est mildest, surest, so doses Is cts. Sam
pies Free, at A. G. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Queer.

Burglars broke into the New York pen
itentiary the other night and carried of 9
clock. Earlier in tho week a couple Of
burglars broke out of an Iowa Jail and
left behind them the time they should
have served. 1t is queer fraternity
Philadelphia Ledger.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

Joseph v. Dory, of Warsaw, ILL.,, was
troubled with rheumatism and tried a
number of different remedies, but says
none of them seemed to do him any good,
but finally he got hold of one that speed
lily cured him. He was much pleased
with it, and felt sure that others similarly
afflicted W )uld like to know what the
remedy WAS that cured him. He states
for the benefit of the public that it is
called Chamberlain's Pain Balm. For
sale by A. @. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Hoosiers " ant the Best

"The people of this vicinity insist on
having Chamberlain's Cough Remedy, and
do not want any other" says John V.
Bishop, of Portland Mills, Indiana. That
rs right. They know it TO be superior to
any other for colds, and as preventative
and cure for Group, and why should they
not insist upon having it? 80 cent bottles
for sale by A. c. Ireland, RI,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
strict Business.

IL Mr.. Snobley much of business
manf
Yes, indeed; he didn't propose until he
knew some one had left me fortune.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

It would be worth while for the ladies
to bear in mind that If they take gentle
course of Ayers Sarsaparilla in the spring
they will have no trouble with 'prickly
heat" "hives" "sties, '"boils," or "black
heads" when summer comes. Prevention
is better than cure.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
He Has a Pull.

What makes that pugilist behave SO
timidly in your presencef said one man to
smother at private sparring exhibition.
He acts as if he we're afraid of you.
He is. I'm his dentist. 49,,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
TheyC Come High.

Did you apply for the place suggested
to you, said the man at the intelligence
Office.
No; I saw her out on the street last Sun
day, and knew then 'twould be no use.
Any one that dresses as we'll as she
does can't afford to pay the wages I'm
accustomed to.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
A Difference in. Age.

/ II hear you are going to marry Miss
Bullion. I should think you would marry
Goldie Sterling, she is just as rich and
much younger"
eyes, my dear boy, but Miss Billions
papa is much r."--Life's Calendar.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

An Educational Necessity.
Father-Do you need this dictionary In
your school work.
Dollie Yes, it'S Just the thing to stand
on when I heat my curling iron in the
gas.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

the most intelligent people Of our com
munity recognize in DeWitt's Little
Early Risers pills of unequaled merit for
dyspepsia, headache and constipation.
Very small, perfect in action. New Mex
leo Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
should be Arrested, The Popular De.
mand.

Whoi What should be arrestedi All
excessive nervousness, dyspepsia, head
ache, dizziness, sleeplessness, neuralgia,
nervous debility, dullness, confusion of
mind, nervous prostration, and etc.
They should be arrested, or, stopped, be-
fore they develop into a condition that
can but result fatally. For this purpose
no remedy equals DR.. Miles Restorative
Nervine, the discovery of the renowned
specialist, whose remedies are the
wonder of the civilized world. Nervine
10 sold by A. G. ireland IT,, on positive
guarantee. Ask for his book free.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
WON an.

1t may take sixty-eight measurements
to constitute a beautiful woman; but one
span around the waist makes happy
man.-Now York Herald.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
He Probably Was

But what rakes you think that John
has been drinkings
Belle--He said at dinner that he thought
my biscuits were betrer than any his
mother ever made.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
BOstOnese.

You may give me milk-shake, said
Miss Blocker to the soda-fountain man.
I will take tactical vibration myself,
added Miss Emerson, of Boston.-Judge
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Just the Same.

A damsel who becomes betrothed to q
blockhead is no better than he. He 10
wooden one and she is wooed an won.--
Yankers Gazette.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

A little i'll, then little pill. The ill is
gone the pill has won. DeWitt's Little
Early rRisers the little pills that cure
great ills. New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Couldn't Remember.

Did you stay out late at the CALI
balli
really don't know; I'm told did,
judpe
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
The Owls Grammar.

Out in the wood knowing OLD owl
Sat on the bough of a venerable yew,
With never smile and never scowl.
Contentedly hooting: "To-win" "To-
whoo!"
But Boston maid, who was passing
through
The wood at twilight, mid the gloom.
Cried out in despair: "Oh, beg of you.
Mister Owl, don't say To-whoo"-say
TO whom!'" Brooklyn Life.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

The rustic seats within the park
We hasten now to gain,
But homeward hobble later on
With sharp rheumatic pain.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
A FacetiOus Bird.

A robin sat on bending spray
And warbled a carol tender,
And his mate observed, as he piped his
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Never.

The poets eye in a fine frenzy rolling
seldom makes ten strike.-Boston
IN zekfA
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

Facts speak louder than words. Sim
mons Liver Regulator does cure bowel
disorders,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

Piles of people have piles, but DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve will cure them. New
Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

Do not ruin the stomach with chemicals.
Simmons Liver Regulator is purely vege-
table and effective.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
The Daily New Mexican
SHOOTING STARS.
Awkward Youths.

Little Dick-Seems to me the older
folks grow the more awkward they get.
Mamma-Why sof
Little Dick-I can fix on sisters skates
in two minutes, but it takes Mr.. Nicefello
bout half an hour.-Exchange.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

Nothing like Simmons Liver Regulator
for dyspepsia and indigestion--asafe ant
sure cure,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

"My husband is on a bender"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

The little girl had seen an electric dis
play, in which some very beautiful floral
shapes in lamps were shown.
"Can we have themW she asked.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
Not Decided.

"What is going to be played at the opera
house tomorrow evening, Mr.. McGinnis!''
asked Mr.. Longcoffin.
st amt decided yet" replied McGin-
mis-.
"How is that?"
81 don't know how it comes said
McGinnis, shut read in the paper this
morning that they were going to play
'Othello, or the Moor of Venice but 1t
did not say which" Siftings.
ALI miserable sufferers with dyspepsia
can be cured by Simmons Liver Regu
lator. .,......-.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21
AMIzETT PLACER.

Beginning at Cor. No. II which 10
identical with Cor. No. II of the Keystone
placer and has the same bearing trees.
Thence s. SO deg. W. 2147.s feet to Cor.
No. 10 which is identical with Cor. No. 10
of the Keystone placer and has the same
bearing point. Thence s. 2 deg. E. $50 #.
to Cor. No. IS which is identical with
Cor. No. 10 of the Keystone placer aud
has the same bearing trees. Thence N.
SO deg. E. 2217.17 ft.to Cor. No. 20,whence
a balsam 6 ms. diam. marked B. 7. 20-981
bears 8. 65 deg. 40 min. E. 1876 #. and.an
aspen s ms. diam. marked B. T. 20-931
bears s. 2 deg. E. 10 #. Thence N. 70
deg. E. 2422.2 IT. to Cor. No. 81, whence
an aspen "A ms. diam. marked b. T. 2l-0S1
bears N. 81 deg. 20 min. E. 1875 IL. and an
aspen IA ms. diam. marked B. T. 71-901
bears N. 81 deg. w. II IL. Thence O. "
deg. H min. E. 8262.s8 fl. to Cor. No. q
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-04-21

"No."
"WhyH
"We have no electric plant"
"Oh" Then after some thought-"Pa
pa, how often does an electric plant
bloom?"- Washingto Star.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31
CHARLES CARLGREN.

When man dies regretted by all who have
ever come in contact with him, leaving be-
hind none but kindly membranes. he has
not lived in vain, no matter how humble his
station. Such man was Officer Charles
Carlgren who died Friday evening last. at his
home, of pertonitis. He has left behind him,
in good circumstances, wife and five chill
dren. the eldest twenty-one and the youngest
ten years DID, to mourn the loss of faithful,
true and loving husband and father.
For twentyOne years had Charles Carlgren
been connected with the State penitentiary.
First as foreman mason for Mr.. Seymour, the
contractor, he superintendent the building
of the entire prison, except the old foundry,
and walls during period of seventeen years,
and became widely known for his excellent
workmanship and answering fidelity to the
best interests of his employer. All the water
mains, sewers, buildings and outer walls are
memorials to his skill. He grew to look upon
the prison as part of himself; therefore,
whenit became optional to him, under Warden
Randall's administration, to leave his creation
to seek other fields or remain here as a guard,
! he accepted the position and continued the
work of supervision, he had previously per-
formed for citizen, as servant of the state,
dOnnng the uniform in the winter of 1890,
and becoming regular guard as we'll as SUI
perintendent of construction.
Deputy Lemon who had known him well for
seventeen years said: ct would be impOssi-
BILE to find more honest, earnest, faithful or
kindly disposed man. AS my late father-in-
laws foreman he was implicitly trusted and
highly respected. AS an officer of this prison
/ he always did his duty with such admirable
fidelity, tact and kindness as to win for him.
self the highest opinions Of his superors."
His associates and brother officers regret him
as cOmarde worthy to stand shoulder to
shoulder with in the battle of life.
Among the prisoners there is deep feeling
| of regret, many feeling that with him friend
/ is gone. He had ever kindly word of advice
or warning or good cheer, as the circumstance
required. Scrupulously firm and cOnscien-
tious to his duties, he had the soulful tact
/ that distinguished readily between willing
/ fault and temporary absence of mind. Such
( man the social world wants as ballast and can
/ i'll spare. Such a man need fear no close
scrutiny of passport at the heavenly gates.
To him is surely given the welcome "Come We
J blessed of my father inherit the kingdom pre-
pared for yOu," or the heaven of our cherished
hopes is not the heaven we wish it to be.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31
Temperance.

There is a great deal said about tenn
perance by the press and by all the good
people of the land: the good ladies who
try to help us seem to think that intem-
perance is one of the causes which have
produced SO much crime, and therefore
we, as criminals, are, or have been, in
temperate men. 10 a certain extent
this is very true, but there are men
here in prison who are not guilty of the
crimes alleged against them. They are,
to-day innocent, and have been con-
demned and sentenced to term of i'm
prisonment here to satisfy the wicked
devices of sinful men, These knew
how to work the wires and so prejudice
the minds of men of influence and mon
ey that they gained their object. They
made their money and gained their
higher social positions las they deem it)
by pushing others to the wall. But let
us remember that there is ali eternal
God "WhO ruleth in the armies of heav-
EN- and among the inhabitants of the
EARTH" The best lecture on temperance
is the man who has always lived tenn
perate life; and it is supposed that he
cannot be found in prison. But the
writer knows man in this prison who
never drank glass of beer, never tas-
ted liquor Of any kind but a very few
times in his life, and then only as pre-
Scribed by physician. He is well along
in years, yet has strong, healthy body,
and is capable of hard mental and phys
ical labor. Total abstinence will pay any
man we'll if only considered in physi-
cal point of view. l.. P.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31
Another Theory.
Where Am I At.

Our editor has brisk decided tread:
you know he's coming along before he
comes. l had promised him "copy''
but had been to lazy to get it up and
had been meditating plagiarism when
ran across an article in paper on the
Evils of Literary Piracy. had become
so deeply interested that failed to no.
tice his coming till he was glaring
through the bars at me with hungry,
hunted look, hoarsely muttering "copy."
Things looked dubious. bluff him off
flashed brilliant idea through my
brain-pity it had not come sooner for
| might have captured it and handed it
over to the editors tender mercies.
The bars were between u.s. so I assumed
threatening attitude and growled out,
{" say what do you mean by"-but he
was gone. was laughing softly to my
self at the success of my little strata
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31

gem when heard him tip-toe up to the
side of the door and stop just round
the corner. l promptly kicked chair
over and at the same time ratified the
door. ] didn't hear him 60 up; but
when he landed heard both feet strike
the floor; then there was soft swish,
the patter of editorial feet and he was
gone. this time for good. Now when
We editor has business to transact in my
neighborhood he stops just before he
gets to my door, deliberately climbs to
the gallery above and just as deliber-
ately deScends on the other side; some
times he goes around the block; and
there are times when he is in hurry
that hear rushing noise down the
corridor and look up just in time to
catch a glimpse of a flying editor as he
goes by with jump. And now am
sorry. The editor is harmless, we'll
intentioned fellow creature, like Diog-
enes somewhat, wandering about seek
ing for an honest man who, to para
phrase an old sentiment:
Nov he's catched and got to prison
Won't longer steal what isn't hiSen.
F. s.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31

One of the eXiles from Oklahoma explaining
why Waterbury watches were so abundant in
that territory said carload of Irish potatoes
was ordered and they ran short two barrels so
they threw in two barrels of Waterburys. "Itell
ue boss hits poo niggah can't spot a Watch
buweh deOwn in OklahOm.''
When the man had his foot burned by molten
iron in the foundry lately, perhaps nobody fully
appreciated what terrible ammount of heat was
applied Iron requires heat of $40 degrees of
Fahrenheit measurement to melt it, or over six
teen times the heat of boiling water. He is mend
ing steadily under DR.. Halls careful treatment.
Miss Cochran in company with officer and
Mrs. Forester paid us a visit Monday. Officer
Forester looked as bright as a bridegroom on
his honeymoon; aid no wonder, as his wife, who
for four years has been bed-ridden, is able to be
about again. A man learns to appreciate good
wife when he is deprived of her fellowship and
encouragement for a time.
The following problem is given us by one of
the boys as an evolution of the brain of a Geor-
gia mathematical professor. 1t shows, though
figures don't lie, that they may tell mathemat-
cal truth but commercial improbability at the
same time. 1t also shows the remarkable force of
supply and demand: A has 10 eggs, B has 80
eggs has so eggs; each sells all he has, on the
same day, at ruling market prices and all realize
a like sum. Can any of our readers solve the
catch?
S. w. sends us some very apt quotations
gathered here and there, among them he asks
" Have you gOn astray? Well, stop right where
you are, turn about and get good sized hump
on yourself in the opposite direction. 1t is inele-
CANT but sound and worthy the attention of
every man among us. He also points out that:
The egOtiSt lives next door to the foOl.'' We
are of the opinion however that they bunk right
together and eat with the same spoon out of the
one hOg-trough.
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31
LOCAL PICKINGS.

Discharged, 2.
Received, none.
Population. 49,
Officer PhilbrOOk went to st. Paul Monday,
The state carpenter has made needed re-
pairs to the bucket shed.
The omnibus subject for Sept 4 is Socialism:
Sept. IA, Education; Sept. 81, Liquor Traffic
Thanks are due to H. I. w. for drawing at
tention to some beautiful verses in the Worerly
Magazine.
The damp, chilly weather of the past week
set many coughing and others looking for rheu-
matism specifics.
Officer WeStergren presented the deputy with
very handsome oleander which now graces the
entrance of the hospital.
Isaac Pearce, Alpena n. d.; T. r. Baldwin,
Minneapolis, in company with Steward Benner
went the rounds of the prison Friday.
DIR. Hall will have to brew a lot of cough
syrup II this chilly weather continues. The gal
lerles at night resOund with coughing.
Statement of population Aug 80: Working
for Thresher Co., $780, working for State, 22s;
sick and infirm 5. Total population 427.
Officer Stlkey says man knows how to
appreciate holiday after twelve hours day of
steady guard duty for six or eight months
The state machinist has recently put the
electric light dynamo through a severe course of
cleaning and Furnishing which accounts for the
clear steady light we have been having lately,
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31
Samoan Troubles.

1t seems that MalietOa holds the Sa-
moan crown in opposition to the peo-
pies will. The trouble dates back to
1880. England, Germany and the Unit
ed States have all put their fingers into
the Samoan pie and helped to cause
much bloodshed and trouble. The
trouble has now drawn to head by
the revolt of the people against Malie-
tOa, who is king by the will of the chief
justice appointed under the treaty of
Berlin. BY the treaty of Berlin the
three powers above named decided that
the people by general election should
name their own king, but the chief
justice will not issue writs. The natives
want Mataafa and are confident of
electing him king if given the OppOr-
tunity to express their choice. The
revolution now on is to enforce the pro-
visions of the Berlin treaty which gave
the people the electoral right. By a
misapprehension the powers were led
to believe that MalietOa, who had re-
signed the kingship to Mataafa. after
the disturbance of a few years back,
was reelected king by the people. But
in fact he was left in power by them
till a general popular election should
take place, and in accordance with the
photographed wishes of the signatories
to the Berlin treaty. Finding that no
election was to take place, the following
of Mataafa, which is very great among
the natives, have come to the conclu-
sion that, denied the right to elect their
king by voice or ballot, they will elect
him by the sword. AS a signatory
power the United States should see
that the intentions of the treaty of
Berlin are honestly and consistently
carried out regardless of the desires of
others than natives of the islands who
wish to control affairs through an un-
popular tigurehead
The modern maiden who says she swims
Is surely modern daughter;
She hangs few clothes on her shapely
limbs,
And she does MT 60 near the water
p3fck
The prison mirror. [volume] (Stillwater, Minn.) 1887-1894, 1893-08-31
A New Philosophy.

The following extracts are taken by
the N. Y. Herald from a pamphlet late
ly published by Mr.. Claburn of Ken
lucky. His ideas of some terrestrial and
celestial phenomena are startlingly nov
ell and they define the author as crank
of the first magnitude.
1.-THE change of seasons is because the planet
travels fast-fifty thousand miles an hour-and
that the front end keeps cool; and when it starts
to go east it gets warm in the north because the
burning side of the planet is driven back to the
north by the current of air that it receives going
east.
GravitatiOn is caused by the earth travelling so
fast that itdraws everything to it, like train of
cars, when you stand close to the track when it
is passing.
What makes us have cholera? We receive the
electricity in our stomachs and it floats around
and pOsOns our food. We receive this from 9TH
er planets.
What would prevent it? Nothing but tube
to breathe through, surrounded at the end by a
blaze of fire to burn up the electricity or gas.
If a man could sit near the front end of plan
ct in the direction that it is going he would
freeze to death in one minute. And if the planet
should stop one minute he would burn up.
There is one planet they call the comet. 1t is
the same as the other planets. The tail that we
see is the hot lava running from the volcanoes,
caused by conclusion, made by the atmosphere
of the two planets. When the planet is crossing
the equator the atmosphere divides this hot lava
and makes it look like falling stars, which some
times reach the earth.
Another Theory.
Away in the distance. when earth was very
young, it went around so fast that the day
was only three hours long. The whole globe
was liquid then, and as it spun around and
around at that frightfu speed it finally burst in
to two parts. The smaller of the parts became
the moon, which has been sailing round the
earth ever since at AZ everlasting distance.
These curious points are not given on the "sup-
pose so " theories of an ignOramus but are the
well-matured deductions of DR.. Ball. the astron-
Omer royal of Ireland.
Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1893-09-15
KEYTEsvILLE. MISSOURI, FRIDAY, SEPT l5 1893

Three or four young men from
Mendon visited a farmers water
melon patch one night last week.
After devouring all their rapacious
appetites required they each filed a
sack, which had been provided Tor
the occasion, aud started home. The
farmer was watching the proceedings
and when the young melon thieves
left for home, he followed on after
them. When in the vicinity of their
homes the young men concluded to
hide their melons. This proceeding
was also observed by the old farmer,
and after the boys had separated for
their respective homes, he went
quietly to the place of concealment.
gathered up the sacks Of melons and
took them home. The next morn
ing the old gentleman sent word to
the young men that they could have
their sacks by calling and paying for
the melons they had eaten the night
before.