davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

How would you like to be a kangaroo,
or be able to jump like one, but you We
got piles so bad you can't. Use Haller's
Australian Salve and you'll get there.
Sold by Mcconnell & Co.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

My customers have been using Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy for several
years and will have no other kind. The
reason is because it can always be de-
pended upon, is quick in its actions and
perfectly safe. DIR. r. L. ST. JOHN,
Rowland, Mo. For sale by Mcconnell
& Co.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

shiloh's Cure, the Great Cough and
Group Cure is for sale by us. Pocket
size contains twenty-five doses, only rs
cents. Children love it. A. McMillen.
druggist.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

Captain Sweeney, U. S. A., San Di
ego, CAL, says: "Shlloh's Catarrh Rem
edy is the first medicine I have ever
found that would do me any good" Price
so cents. Sold by A. McMillen.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

Karl's Glover Root, the new Blood
Purifier, gives freshness and clearness
to the Complexion and cures Constipa-
ton. rs cents, so cents and ST.. Sold
by A. McMillen. 526-1yr.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

A good live paper every Tuesday
and Friday, is what you get in The
Semi Weekly Journal for one dol
lar. The TRIBUNE and journal both
one year for $3.50.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16
Pessimistic.

DO you believe the rain falls alike on
the just and the unjust?:'
Mike! The unjust swipe the umbrel-
las. "-Exchange.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

81 men wanted at Mcconnell & Co. s
drug store next Monday morning, to buy
a bottle of Haller's Barb Wire Liniment,
it is absolutely guaranteed.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

There are people who claim to be
praying for the salvation of the whole
world, who never go to prayer meeting
in rainy weather.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

Happydays and restful nights result
from using Ayers Sarsaparilla. 1t so
regulates all the bodily functions and
strengthens the nervous system that
worry and fatigue are comparatively un-
known and life is truely enjoyed. It is
certainly a most wonderful medicine.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

When a church member goes to a
circus, his light for good goes clear out.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16
Money to Loan.

On farm or city property at four
per cent. for five years or 2-and-one-
half per cent. for ten years. Principal
payable on installments.
[. T. BENJAMIN.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

scrubbing a pig with soap will not
take the love of mud out of its heart.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

Find a man who has no hobby, and
you find me who is not happy.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

There two ways of telling a goose; by
its gable and its walk.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

We sell the Empire letter copying
books. Also best grades Of type writ
ing paper.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

God is robbed whenever one man gives
another light weight.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16
We TELL YOU

nothing new when we state that it pays to engage
m . p ,hat rafmr,I most {, nr nenit fGy a arar Pie dav,n worn
Such is the business we offer the working class.
We teach them how to make money rapidly, and
guarantee every one who follows our instructions
faithfully the making of 100000 a month.
Every one who takes hold now and works will
surely and speedily increase their earnings; there
can be no question about it; others now at work
are doing it, and you, reader, can do the same.
This is the best paying business that you have
ever had the chance to secure. You will make a
grave mistake if you fail to give it a trial at once.
If you grasp the situation, and act quickly, you
will directly find yourself in a most prosperous
business, at which you can surely make and save
large SUMS of money. The results of only a few
hours work will often equal a weeks wages.
Whether you are old or young, man or woman, it
makes no difference, do as we tell you, and sue
cess will meet you at the very start. Neither
experience or capital necessary. Those who work
for us are rewarded. Why not write to-day for
full particulars, free ? e. C. ALLEN & CO,
Box No. $40, Augusta, Me.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

There is no easy place anywhere OF
earth for a lazy man.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

The nation has no better friend than
a mother who teaches her child to pray.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16

The wren has a sweeter song than the
peacock.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-06-16
WANTED,

A fool carries his name in his mouth,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

to cause any Inconvenience. 1t COW
ers lot 26x28 feet 1t rejoices In
the luxury Of front entry and a
side porch and is provided with a
bathroom and plenty Of closets. The
walls are all painted, and they can
be washed with perfect freedom.
There are outside blinds, q gable
roof, and a brick chimney, and all
this plenitude Of possession may be
had for the moderate sum Of 81, 900.
The ground floor contains a sitting
room and a kitchen, front hall, and
a bathroom. This latter is located
here for economical reasons, as the
drainage can be united with that Of
the kitchen. The parlor has an open
Fireplace and an ornamental mantel
The floor is covered with pretty rugs
and the furniture Is tasteful and
serviceable.
The house is completely furnished
throughout--linen, crockery, and
even clothing. 1t is intended for a
model family consisting Of one father,
one mother, three children, and one
baby. All the drawers and closets
are full of neatly folded clothing for
the model family, each piece marked
with the cost; in fact, everywhere
about the house are plainly written
instructions giving size and use Of
rooms and all needful detail for
workingmen to read and profit by.
There is only one feature of the
model home which would possibly
merit any sort Of criticism; that is
the closet system. The model wife
has a rather small closet allotted to
her, the model children have one a
trife larger, and the model husband
has one nearly twice as large. Now,
unless model workingmen's wives are
Of a different species from other mems
wives the woman would have that
big closet for her dresses, if she had
to render the four model children
orphans in order to obtain it,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
Cadi and Council.

Justice Is the end Of government,
and every nation has its own peculiar
method by which this end is achieved.
In "Our Future Highway to India,
/ an interesting trial is described.
There had been a riot and one man
had been hurt. The ringleaders in
the riot were now put on trial, and q
curious sight it was.
The cadi and council we're seated
around a table. An officer called the
"kaimacan" had conducted us to the
place where the trial was going on,
and the party was accommodated on
a divan. The prisoners were brought
in under a strong guard, the wound
ed man and the doctor being at the
other end of our divan. The whole
place was crowded with witnesses
and spectators.
A more peculiar trial was never
seen; every one gestlculating, shout
ing and yelling. The prisoners abused
kaimacan, cadi, court, and every
thing else, and were abused in turn.
LAC uOlbC WCnu Ou luCIOdblllB uuUll ~
seemed as If the roof was about to
fly off.
Suddenly there came a lull, and
every one, prisoners, guards and all,
commenced smoking cigarettes The
ringleader In the riot coolly took a
light from one of the members Of the
court. After a pause, and with their
lungs refreshed by the soothing
fumes of tobacco, they all again burst
forth in chorus, and the noise was
worse than before.
l know not how the clerk to the
court managed to keep his notes of
the evidence, but perhaps he was ac-
customed to such scenes, and man
aged to take down fair description
of what occurred.
Though there was fresh blood on
their clothes, and some long hairs
were sticking to the sword Of the one
who had actually struck the blow,
the prisoners swore they we're inno-
cent. Luckily the case did not rest
on frail testimony, as an officer had
been present and seen the man cut
down. So far everything went to
convict the culprits, but the question
of provocation given and received
had to be debated before the punish
ment could be awarded.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
TO MAKE FINGERS TAPER.
A Newly Patented Device which Was Used
by the Ancionta,

ny the AnCieMt4s
A few months ago the United
States Patent ONCE granted letters
to the patentees of what was regard
cd as a most unique and novel inven-
ton. It was called the device for
tapering fingers, and 1t was thought
that 1t would be of utmost popularity
with ladies throughout the land.
The application for the patent was
accompanied by illustrative drawings
showing the beneficial effects of the
device, and pictures Of ladies' lily
white fingers taken before and after
the use Of the invention.
The supposed novelty and origin
ality Of this beauty-producing device
led reporter TO examine the model
on which the patent was granted.
To his establishment he found that
tlnger-tapering devices Of various
kinds have been patented for several
years back, and that there was moth
ing at all new or wonderful In this
latest effort of Yankee ingenuity.
Indeed, Examiner Marvin, Of that
division In the patent office, who has
charge of the examination Of appli-
cations for inventions similar to that
Of the finger taperer, showed the re-
porter a whole batch Of patents on
inventions designed to heighten the
beauty of woman's face and form,
and many that were intended for the
benefit of fastidious Beau Brummels
as well.
AS for the tapering device
upon which the original patent was
granted, it is simply a series Of little
steel bands, shaped something like a
clothespin, which are slipped over
the finger at night when the beauty
retires to rest, the pressure being
made tighter toward the end Of the
fingers. 1t is device well known to
the ancient Greeks and Romans, and
1t is thought by Examiners Marvin,
Rice and other experts in the Patent
Office, who have spent long years ex'
aiming this class Of inventions, that
perhaps its revival now is due to the
popularity of typewriting machines
and type-writing girls.-Washington
Post.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
Alive and Dead.

A lady had almost decided to buy
the coat she was trying on. Thu
weary saleswoman breathed a sigh o,
relief The customer had been hare
to suit. Even yet she fingered the
buttons and twitched the sleeves
thoughtfully.
what was this fur when 1t was
alive?" she asked abruptly, as she adj
justed the collar.
The saleswoman hesitated and
stammered. She was torn between a
business-like desire to make a sale
and conscientious regard for the
truth. Her confusion was painful.
"Well, ma'am, we have to call 1t
MARTINI" she said, at last, "but it
was skunk when it was alive"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
ALuminous Tree.

A remarkable tree grows near some
springs, about twelve miles north of
Tuscarora, Nevada. 1t is about six
or seven feet high, with a trunk
which at its base is three times the
size of an ordinary mans wrist. Its
truly wonderful characteristic is its
luminosity, which is so great that on
the darkest night 1t can be plainly
seen mile away. A person stand
ing near could read the finest print
by its light The luminous property
is due to gummy substance, which
can be transferred to the hand by
rubbing, together with the phosphor-
escent light, while that on the leaf
disappears. This luminosity 10
thought to be due to parasitic worm.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
A ManteIpieoe 5000 Years old.

1t is seldom that wood which was
grown more than four Thousand
years before the Christrian era is
used In the construction of a present.
day residence, and yet this really
happened recently In Edinburgh,
where a mantelpiece was fashioned
from wood said to be 5000 years old.
An oak tree was found In a sand-pit
at Musselburgh thirteen feet below
the surface Professor Geikie, OF the
geology chair Of the University Of
Edinburgh, after personally examin-
ing the strata in which this oak was
found, said the tree, which was 5
feet inches in diameter, must be at
least six thousand years old, and de-
scribed 1t as a relic Of neollthlc man.
1t was in fine state Of preservation,
due to the sand, and was easily
workable.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
Points in Etiquette.

A hostess need not hold herself re.
sponsible for the likings or dislikings
OF her guests. She evades this by
avoiding introductions, but she does
afford her circle the most charming
opportunities for establishing and
maintaining pleasant associations.
Well bred persons know how to con-
tinue an acquaintance thus casually
commenced providing there is a
mutual liking. When introductions
take place ut other than formal re-
ceptlons, the man is introduced or
presented to the woman unless she Is
young and he old and distinguished,
when she js introduced or presented
to him. The charm Of social liberty
ia the freedom to retain as friends
such as are wholly sympathetic to US
according to our individual standards
and tastes.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
A Tremendous Shakinr On,

This is what every system afflicted with
chills and fever, bilious remittent, or any
other form of malarial disease, undergoes
periodically. Not only is malaria terrible in
itself-it is the breeder of an infnity of bod
lily ailments. Specifics used for its preven-
ton and removal prove, in the vast majority
of cases, useless for every other purpose than
to mitigate the disease and stave off its
attacks. They are sure, with the average
treatment, to return after awhile. The suf-
ferer may change his location to a healthier
one, but the complaint, which is in his
blood, is not thus lightly got rid of, and re-
turns after the wonted interval. Organic af-
fections of the nerves, heart trouble, gener-
al debility of the system are the offspring of
malaria. Cure the originating cause and
avert future physical injury with Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters, efficacious also in liver
complaint, inactivity of the kidneys, rheu-
matism and Indigestion
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10


IOWA.
Mr.. William Stanage, one of Sioux
City's staunch and reliable residents,
writes the following short and to the
point testimonial:
"My wife was in very poor health
for long time from disease of the
liver and other troubles. She tried
different kinds of medicine and doc
tors; they did her very little good, SC
concluded to try DIR. Hathaway &
Co. The day took her to them she
could hardly stand on her feet She
lost nineteen pounds in weight in six
weeks She has gained fifteen pounds
In two months under DIR. Hathaway
IL Co.'S treatment. She is perfectly
cured and enjoying good health. 1t ia
with the greatest pleasure write this
recommendation.
own. STANAeE, Sioux City, Iowa"
We can with honesty, say that our
treatment cures where others fail, and
we know that if cure is possible we
can do it. Our grateful patients test.
ify from all over the United States.
Our cures are permanent. No poison.
GUS medicines used
Men and women write us if you have
any disease of any kind or character.
Patients treated and medicines sent
TO all parts of the world free from OBJ
servation, with full instructions Send
for Blank No. for Men. No. Q for
! Women. No. 3 for Skin Diseases.
Address Or. Hathaway Il Co., Cor. 9th and
Edmond sts., S.. Joseph, No. References
given II desired.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

than two wet feet. In great disgust
heleaned the fish pole up against the
house beside the door and disclaimed
any knowledge Of the fish market.
The next morning his astonlshed
eyes fell on a good fat hedgehog
dangling from the hook. His "bait"
Of the day before can hardly be held
accountable for the event.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
Do Women want to voter

Ninety-dve per cent. Of the women
of Wyoming availed themselves Of
the privilege Of voting for President,
although some of them had to ride
seventy miles going to and returning
from the polls This seems to be
sufficient answer to the question
whether II women generally had the
right, they would take interest
enough in politics to vote.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
Improving an Opportunity.

Mother-I wish you to 90 TO the
stole and get me bar Of soap Lit
tie Johnny--l've got an awful TOOTH
ache. 'Does 1t really ache much9"
awful l can't let a thing touch
i'll" 'Srhen you may also bring
pound of raisins"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
Photopranhinp suaneota.

Suspected persons, as they stand at
the paying teller's window in the
Bank OF France, are instantaneously
photographed. A camera is always
in position, and is operated upon a
signal from the teller
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Mm. Lalker; II isn't considered at all
binding on the clergyman in Chicago to kiss
the bride. Mrs, BECKER: Doesn't he ever
do itp Mrs, Laker: Yes, sometimes, If he
hasn't married her for quite long time,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

The March of Intellect. Father (rebuk-
ingly); When was a little boy never
thought of asking such questions. Tommy
(the youngest) All, but, papa, when you
was little boy wasn't bornp
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Dolly: Oh, mama, met little girl to-
day who had never heard of a COW. Dollys
Mother; That was strange, wasn't itY Who
was the little girl, Dolly? Dolly; She said
her father was milkman.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Just think oft fliO52 made in week by agent
representing B. F. johnson Co., Richmond, Va and they
have had many parties travelling for them who did
equally WELL good deal better II you need
poyment It would DO good thing to Sit down and write
them line at once.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
MODEL HOME FOR woRkMEM.
New York Shows Dwelling at the Fair
Which Costs but 1000.

Which Costs but $1,000.
Down in the southeast corner OF
the Worlds Fair grounds, near the
confusing display Of wind-mills, and
almost under the shadow Of the in
tramural, stands a modest little
structure which the average visitor
would be apt 10 overlook. A sign
extending half way across the front
informs the passer that the building
is the New York State exhibit Of a
model worklngman's home.
The model home Is two stories
high, the upper rooms being cut into
trifle by the root, but not enough
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Watts; Did you ever eat any 'possum?
Grogan: Oh niver did an Oh niver will. Oh
hov no use for haste that wud dhrop the
o from the name of him as the 'possum has.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Mother: What makesyou so nervous,
Charley, dear? Charley; I've had two pro-
posals OF marriage, and really don't know
whether to accept Clara with her brains or
Ethel with her money.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Young Wife; Now, sir, I've given you
half my picnic pies, and you promised to
work for them. Trampi Bless yer sweet
eyes, mum, did-as wuz eatin of em.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Wear the Knickerbocker shoulder brace
and suspender combined. Sold everywhere or
sent postpaid on receipt of 81, per pair, plain,
or $l.b0, silk-faced. Send chest measure. Adj
dress, KNICKERBocKER BRAoE Co., Eaaton, PAs
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Jonas Injecting Brown in dry goods storeJ
Hello, Brown, how are your What are you
doing now--got steady iobp Brown;
guess have. I'm waiting for my change,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Tattle: l see you everywhere with Miss
Menibowe nowadays. You seem to be very
friendly with her, but you don't say much
about 1t. Rattle; No. Wherever / 60
find you've saved me the trouble.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Sappleigh yale 1881; Freshleigh has
eloped with girl whose father is gambler.
Happleigh ditto; Faro's daughter ehP
How did they happen TO meetp Sappleigh;
Why, she saw him in the freshman rushes.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

When Visiting Kansas City Stop ~
the B1ossoM Housn opposite linton Depot.
First Glass in every respect, Rates, $3.50 day.
Gable cars 10 all parts Of tho city pass the
door.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

"Arent you in the grave-robbing bush
nessW "My profession, sir" responded the
witness, with dignity, ''is that Of exhuma.
torial artist.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

The Mother; Now that you have been
graduated, what do you intend to doP The
Sweet Girl Graduate; Look out for hus-
band, | guess.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

/ Cure Dyspepsia and Constipation.
DR., Shops Restorative Nerve pills sent FREQ
with Medical Book 10 prove merit, for 20 stamp
Druggists, 2hc DIR, SnooP. Box w. Racine Wiz
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Physician Ito bank PRESIDENT; Your hab-
It's are too sedentary. You should take more
exercise Patient How would run on
the bank do?
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Is YOUR blood poorP Take Beecham's Pills
Is your liver out Of orderp Use Beecham'O
Pills. % cents box.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

"You'ye bought a bicycle, eh2 Well, that
beats riding in a street car, doesn't itG'
"0h, don't know AS ii is, old fellow,
frequently have TO give up my reatN
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Jonas (meeting Brown in dry goods store) (;
Hello, Brown, how are your What are you
doing now-got steady job? Brown l
guess have. Pm waiting for my change.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10
DIR. AMY -. PARKER, !.
SpeeIaIIst in Chronic and Nervous DlUeaHs1.

Specialist in Chronic and Nervous Diseases.
Consultation or Examination by letter or
In person.
DR.. Parker has new and complete meth.
cd Of treatment based with scientific accu.
racy on the laws governing tho
Psycho-PhysiologicaI Constitution
Of Man, that has proved invariably success.
full. Correspondence solicited. Enclose 2
cent. stamp. Room % Keith Block.
$40 Kansas Avenue, Topeka, Kansas,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Mother: have my doubts about that Mr..
Hanson. Daughter: He wears dress
suit on all proper occasion. Mother: Yes,
but it isn't always the same one.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

Fond Mamma: My son Is studying biolo.
gy now. Mrs. Storker Buyologyp Oh I
wish my daughter could study that. II might
teach her how to shop.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

~ cannot understand 20 American paper"
said the educated foreigner. "Here is one
Eat says re bank is gone up, and here is one
Eat says re bank has gone under
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-10

He: My wife never got the better of me
but once. She: Lucky man-when was
thatP He (sighing); When she married me,