The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1893-11-30
J'HE LATEST IN HUMOR.
sGME BRIGHT LEAVES FROM OUR
| CONTEMPORARIES.
How the Lawyer Got Even With the
Heartless Being Who Rejected Him
Never Heard of the Instal1ment
Plnn--An Ungrateful Texan.

How the Lawyer Got Even with the
Heartless Being Who Rejected Him
Never Heard of the Instal1ment
Plnn--An Ungrateful Texan.
Pale with suppressed emotion, the
struggling young village attorney stood
before the naughty heiress, hat in hand
and ready to go. Il RI. HI
Il could have borne your refusal,
Verdigris McSorren,'' he said brokenly
although I had hoped for a mere fa-
vorable answer. But you have chosen
to accompany it with words of scorn
You have accused me Of fortune hunt
ing. You have twitted me with my
poverty, my ms g,1incance and my lack
Of worldly knowledge. I have not de
served this. I may have been pre-
sumptuous, but I am not the sordid,
mercenary, soulless wretch you have
pictured me to be. And, mark my
words, proud beauty, the day will come
when your naughty spirit shall be
brought low!''
''What will you do, Mr.. Bramble?''
soornfully asked the young woman.
"Will you sue me for damages? Will
you publish some dismal verses about
me? Or will you crush me by silent
contempt?'' s
Il shall bide my time. Heartless
being, farewell"
Long years passed away. In crowd
ed court room in a large city, the IA
nous case of Kersmith VS.. Jehones was
on trial, involving the possession Of
millions. limos A. Bramole, now one
of the most notable and successful law
yers in his native state, leaned forward
in his chair to crosse examine a wit.
ness. ~
''Your name, madam" he said. 'if
l understand you rightly, is Mrs.
Bimm?'' -
Eyes, SIR replied the witness.
your familiarity with this case grows
out of the fact that you have resided
all your life in the neighborhood Of
the property in dispute? Is that cor
rect?'' s...%
Eyes, SIR 1851 .1.
1T will be necessary, then, to ask
you-but, first, how long have you been
lnarried?" 49, .-.ss
IL was married several years ago.
I am widow -. F..
'How long have you been a widow?"
"Oh-several years." -
what was your maiden name?"
'McSorrell."
Full name, please?'
"Verdigris McSorren.'
'Thank you. In order to ascertain
all the facts pertaining to this contro-
versy it will be necessary to ask you
one more question. Now, then, Mrs.
Verdigris McSorrell Bimm?" Numbered
Lawyer Enos A. Bramble, rising to his
feet, please tell the jury your age!'-
Chicago Tribune. 1888. -.
Never Heard Of the Insta IImcnt Plan.
Darling, I lay my heart and life at
your feet"
ooh, Georgev' .--
II love you sincerely, deyotedly. ar
IDENTIFY, passionately-I love you more
than I can tell. Be mine .r. r. D.,
George, I will" 49,.
''And will you engage yourself to
me?'
II will"
''Bless you, my darling I am the
happiest man in America tonight
There was 4 long, delicious pause
Then the maiden whispered:
Am I to have an engagement ring,
dearest?'
Georges face grew pale, his lip quiv-
cred as he replied:
by and by, darling, I cannot give
you one for awhile"
You cannot. Why?''
The paleness of his face was succeed
ed by a deep flush. his face grew dark
and his bosom heaved as he hoarsely
answered.:
I'm just from the fair, and I'm dead
broke. New York Press.
There's Many Slip "rwixt the Cup
ind the Lip.
The subjoined announcement ACTUALLY
appeared in suburban paper of the
German capital:
Il hereby declare that the engage
1nent of my daughter Marie with Mr.
w, merchant Of this city, was
broken off five minutes before the we'd
ding, as the honorable stepfather of
MI. WWW came to me and observed
that it was high time I should state
what amount Of dowry I was cling to
give my daughter. AS the thumbscreW
CT the right honorable Herr Stepfather
was not to my liking L showed the
honorable gentleman the door, and
believe that in doing so, T have acted
as a man of honour" s......@s.ss ~
The full name and address of the
sender are appended to the above
Neue Freie Presse III.
As Ungrateful Texan.
Speaking Of Thanksgiving some peo-
pie never know when they ought to be
grateful. Old Judge Peterby, an old
Texan, has been laid up for some time
with the govt. His legs are swelled I'D
to an enormous size. He is very i'm
patient, and his doctor, who is also a
church member, rebuked him, saving:
you should be grateful to the Al
mighty for his Kindness
What kindness?'
His kindness in giving you only two
legs to suffer with. Suppose you had
as many legs as centipede?'
A Question of Color
"Mv dear don't vn1, intona ! = :-:L