The Meeker herald., 1893-02-11
A Graduate's Experience.

A reporter OF THE HERALD While IN
search of local items this week ran
across two Kelley graduates who were
holding a fraternai conilab. Waiting
till the conference was at an end, the
interrogating quill-shover singled out
one of the "Jags" and proceeded to in
teryiew him with the following result
which we give in the original language
of the "Jigger:"
II woke W Q: .1anri..ag and was in
formed that had been mt the Institute
for three days. l had no recollection
of coming or having been there that
long but reliable men so assured me and
it must have been so. Immediately
after rising l drank all the whisky in
my room and sent boy after more.
With the assistance of my nurse | got
my clothes on, and drank some more
whisky. | was not what you would call
a drinking man. In the last ten years
have been sober three times, and still
people think | was addicted TO liquor.
i ate grape for breakfast, drank some
more whisky and went to the Institute,
the people giving me the right-of-way
and hoisting danger signals at regular
intervals. AT S O'Clock joined a pro-
cession of people who moved step by
step into the operating room. | saw
three physicians when / entered, but
there are people who say there was only
one. guess they were only teasing
me. After the shot took some whisky
and went up stairs, where | had an
other drink. While l was walking
across the club room chair moved de-
liberately in front of me and l fell over
it. think the chairs should be fastened
to the floor. 1t confused me, falling in
this manner, and l kicked myself an
grily and gave tue chair drink. |
slept awhile, and was reused hy hearing
the clock strike fOrty-siX. | knew that
If IL were that late it must be time for
some liquor, and called fer some. They
gave it to me in a stingY way, handing
me a bottle containing only about half
a pint The proper way to drink whisky
is out of n dipper. 1t was drinking out
of d bottle and taking water on the side
that ruined the Republican party, and
water has wrecked many happy home.
| slept again for while and dreamed
that was in cho'sc of II herd of two
bcaueu suakrs that wore sprotavics and
played checkers with their tails. l
woke at II O'Clock, noon, and after
swallowing several bottles of whisky |
To, La al, nt n
there squirted some violet ink into my
arm which made me feel like n third
rate circus actor. If man hadn't come
along and given me some whisky | do
not think would be alive to tell this
tale. At dinner | ate part of a dried
prune, after which drank some whisky
and went to sleep on the lounge. l
dreamed again and thought [ was dig
ging a well, starting at the bottom and
working up. SOMEBODY woke me with a
pitchfork in time for the next shot,
when the same three physicians injected
all the medicine they had in my left
arm and gave me some lozenges.
thought they were peppermint and com
ihciCSu W cav tiieui, pul lhC' Pio'cu "
be bromide, and when they reached my
stomach felt rs though l had been
raised on diet of alum and broken
glass. l remember no more of what
occurred on that day. Friends say that
| tried to sing Annie Rooney to the
tune of the Star-Spangled Banner, and
was still singing when went to sleep
clasping bottle to my warm bosom"