Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1893-10-19
The Self-Deaial of Parents.

That parents should deny themselves
is not in the least to their credit; II is
meet, right, and their bounden duty says
writer In Hdrper's Bazdr. That they
should give their children better advan-
tages than they have had themselves IS
equally, in the nature of things. their
proper line Of conduct. Each generation
owes to the one in advance all that IL car
bestow of preparation. Of culture, OF op-
portunity, and Of privilege. The self-de-
NAL of parents Is the tribute the race de-
mands; it is not especia ~ notable nor
particularly praiseworthy, because II is the
appointed and expected role which is
given to people when they take upon
them the obligations of parenthood,
But self-denial on the part of parents is
one thing, and self efscement quite an
other. The plain man and the plain won
an who have scrimped and stinted and
saved, coutrived, managed, risen early ana
sat up late to send their sons and daugh.
tiers TO college, to educate them literally,
TO place them well 10 the world, are not
to be set aside as Of small account whau
their children arrive at maturity.
They are wrong to allow themselves to
be pushed TO the wall, set in the back
ground a. they sometimes are. The
mother may not know Euclid, or have the
faiutest acquaintance with the Greek
poets; the music her daughter plays may
be Chinese puzzle 70 her comprehension;
bat she does know 4 whole world Of sci
ence. not necessarily In books, u which
her daughter can gain no cew in the class
room, since life must be the teacher.
The father may speak less ornate
vernacular than his boys vocabulary. but
he has the shrewdne-s, the acquaintance
with men. which come only by Intercourse
with ones fellows, by Joy and sorrow, and
the different phases through which all pass
who live long enough IL should bc no
part Of the self denial Of parents d do
without the Difference, the tenderness, the
regard. Of those whom they have brought
up.
one and- Il oftenor in comparatively
new country than III the more conventional
life of our cities. state Of things in
which parents seem 20 have been out
grown by their children There are farm
houses in our frontier States where
woman, not yet middle sged. have put on
gray hairs and wrinkles, lost the beauty
and elasticity of youth, years before their
time, rcsigncdly accepting priyation and
toll and loneliness 70 give their girls a
chance
II the girls are noble, sweet-na;urvd.
and true. they VIII hold the dear mother in
the greatest esteem because Of all that she
has done for them. Ear from entertaining
a feeling Of pride or Of complacency, they
will repay the beautiful self f-denIal OF their
parents by devotion which never knows
a shade of diminutlon. 1t Is an iguoble
nature alone which is capable Of feeling
ashamed OF those who belong to ones kith
ana kin on account Of any simplicity Of
manner or plainness OF speech. Self-denisl
must not become self-etfacement.
\ few years ago ii was not uncommon
TO ind the parents " young people rather
crowded out Of the way, the drawing
rooms given up to The youthful daughters
and their friends, while the mother aud
father sat by themselves in q basement
duing-room, or their own chamber. 4
better state OF things obtains nov. and
young people have learned that society is
crude and unsatisfactory in which parents
have not their fltting place.