New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-12-03
THE TALK or THE DAY.

Soloquy OF Bowery Sport-"Shall have me hair
cut short and pass for prize fighter, or let II
grow long and be taken for football player?"
| The Way of a Mean Man-Mrs. Suttle dnsinuat.
ingly)-John, Mrs Swiftlys husband has Just bought
Mr.. suttle-I always said Swiftly had wheel In
| his head.-Chicago Record.
The following notice is posted in the Pensioa
| Office at Washington:
Members of the medical division are forbidden to
have their hats or clothing on preparatory TO leav-
| ing this office before o'clock. Any one breaking
this rule will be charged with dement, of Is min
| utes
| II is perhaps not strictly our business but We
should think 1t would be rather uncomfortable for
the clerks of the medical division to work all day
| without any clothing
A Big surprise."Do you happen to have any
money about you, Snaggs? said Manchester to his
Sorry Manchester, was the reply but haven't
a quarter of a dollar to my name just now
Then" rejoined Manchester, as he produced .
this tenner / borrowed from you a month ago
snaggs fainted.-tPittsburg chronicle
DIR. II. L. Wayand of Philadelphia, thinks that .
| Street Cleaning Bureau is department organized
| for the purpose OF explaining to the public why the
streets are not cleaned. DR.. Wayland hits 1t about
| right for New-York.
At the Dude Cub.-Chorus las Dcky enters in an
heavens What's the matter?
| Dcky-A Wude girl on the street called out as l
went by. 20 mamma, buy me that. and police
man wouldn't awest her when asked him to-
Bloomington Bulletin.
| First Communicable you hear about Brown
Jones, my next-door neighbor? A dime museum has
offered him engagement as freak
Second Commuter- how is that? always
thought that Brown-Jones anything but
| freak.
'Oh you are mistaken. lie has been living in the
suburbs year and has never yet carried bundIe.'
Not a Swndler.-D aughter-That man who adj
vertsed all the latest popular songs for 81 Is
Old Man1Eh Didn't he send anything for your
YES. he sent the latest popular songs just as
advertised. but they were only the words. No
music at all; l can read them. of course but can't
dear that Is NOT wee iTnder He
New-Jersey's Republican gain OF $40 votes this
| year makes 1t the banner Republican State. This
fact takes all the point out of the old joke about
| New-Jersey being out OF the Union.
Mrs: Younsma Explains.-Little son-what u
Mrs Youngma- Bricks are made of clay.
after the clay shaped The bricks tan, are SI baked"
street stree Ses smi t@G GOOD 0 News 's your ''c
4 tombstone in cemetery the spot where
the old stone church in East Lynn, Conn, formerly
stood bears the following inscription:
| Children.
Ma'am?
Mother Has Come.
When the author this unique epitaph was about
it. he ought have recorded the reply OF the
children when they informed by the mother
that she had joined them.
Actress-You are a divorce lawyer understand?
Lawyer-Yes, madam; secure divorces without
Actress-Um-rm in tie wrong Office. Good day
| (New-York Weekly
A London merchant is utilizing the monograph
in his business. While he is driving to his place
of business in his carriage he talks his instruc-
tons into Of the machines. and when he ar
rives he gives it to his head clerk, who makes It
repeat them.
The Football Players sorrow.-"Thus one by one
locks as n se S hs s
she always seemed unseltlsh.'
"Oh, we'll brace up. Think of your fame as
lit is that which sundered the ties that bound
u.s. She demanded too much! A.. .,
would s SVe her her. your lie il She asked for it.
And so 1 would-but what she desired was
"A lock OF my hair" washington Star.
| The MARYLAND Eplscopalians talking OF dvid-
| ing the diocese making the city of Washington
one diocese and the State Of Maryland the o'ner.
Some however object TO this. on the grounu 'na'
| the future Bishop of Washington ought 10 nave
some outside missionary territory to Keep MN iro"
|
| himself washington" after the English fash'on'
| and II his front name should happen to be George
| the result would be awkward
Going Him One Better-Watts-I had supposed
that excessively high heels were out Oh aiS heels
| hut | saw a woman on the street To-Day VIII" ~
| on her shoes fully inches high. - ,,.
! Potts-That's nothing. saw a woman o'' wers
stage last night the heels or whose snoes, ~
| higher than her head.-Cndanapolis Journal
| A Kansas Populist who recently began a" az"
aass with the remark "Felow-citizens, ehu me
| your ears y was all broken up by voice eAe'ai',
| inc Great Scott. you've got more thah 'ou'
| share now!
$50 Young" unused the editor, looking une nd
noen, that had lust In by mall 90 yoSl - ~
20 oifted Hardly sixteen, yet SIaduae VI ar,ss
The most excu sVe and expensive ienaie h,s nro-
In the country! There is vgor aDou t ts glkns-
drction n dash a breeziness. wealth. Oh i i.as
ton and a facility Of expression rus And yet''
In one Of her youth and inexperience. A. ha
added the editor, firing 1t enersevea', This naner
waste basket "she can't WORK on vi III. nth '(shi.
| a poem that tries TO make Vraso ''
| cago"(Chicago Tribune
| At the centennial celebration OF bowuom W
,sge next June Chief Justice Fuller Will denver
| the Grafton.
| He Knew the Ps.-Farmer hoefas.m."vw ss
inst "a many miracles now as there css, ,vssf
Rrbere's Whole columns about miracles every "eeA
| In 1.-THE Bungtown Bugle 49,. van,r stead OF
Mrs Hoefast-If you'd read N Pdpe.,,. 10 ali
ms skmmin over IT, you'd see them aruce9 pii,o,ss
about people gttin cured by Dr. Dose" ''
Ps r,,se "a efastEh Did those pills ever DO any
hodv any good? WELL that's WueetS ~Uss"