The Republican., 1893-06-01
A SNAKE BITE CURE.
The Old Settler Tells of It's Won
derful Effects.

~@~~OOSNs
~Great spooks" exclaimed the squire,
looking up from the paper he was read
ing and keeping his finger on the
place. Twenty thousand Wat do
ye think o that, ma jor? Twenty thou
san folks dyin' from snakes in one
year,"
''W'at do think on it?" said the Old
Settler "Wull, think them folks must
"a took their applejacll pooty durn new,
b'gosh, an leetlc too often!"
"Applejack.' said the squire, glar-
ing at the Old Settler. "Applejacll hain't
got nuthin to do with it, These folks
was bit"
bit, was they?" responded the Old
Settler. "Wull, tha hain't nuthin that
kin bite wuss thin new appleiack,
squire, I've know'd it to be sharper'n
a sarpent's tooth. But who were tellin
ye bout all them folks dyin' from snake
bites? That's good many folks,
squire. Ye orter be leetle keerful of
yer figgers when ye set out to peddle
facts"
'Why, consarn it," exclaimed the
squire, 'here it is, right here in the pa
per! The paper says that last year tina
was twenty thousan' folks died in Injy
from snake bites!'
SIN Injy, hay?" said the Old Settler
"Why, didn't hev no kind an idee that
the sarpent had got cz much of foot
hold on lnjys coral strand ez all that
Humph! / must tell M'riar bout that
an tha'll be special meetin' of the
'Clothers O. Them that's Naked an Feed
ers o Them that IIungers called to
look inter it. This here won't never
do M'riar must call a meetin' of the
Clothers an Feeders, and the sistern
must line the mex cargo o red flannel
shirts an secon'-han' pants with leather
l been spectin' they was a little too
thin to perfect them heathens on Injy's
coral strand. An wat is the news
from Greenlan's icy mountains, squire?
How many folks is missin', long o
snakes, up there? An does Afric's sun
ny fountains send in any returns?
Gosht'lmighty! This'll make trouble
fer my yaller-leg chickens ag'in, w en-
this news gifts around, fer the Clothers
and Feeders alluz stays to supper.
Watts the returns from Africs sunny
fountains, squire?'
The squire folded up his paper, put it
in his pocket and gave the Old Settler
a whitening look, but said nothing.
This was plainly disappointing to the
Old Settler, but after awhile he resumed
the subject
Twenty thousand. hay?" said he. Il
wisht know'd the directions o some
leadin' heather over there an I'd send
him letter tellin' him bout the never
failin' Sugar Swamp cure for snake
p'ison, an tina wouldn't be no use o.
snakes bitin' anybody in that pleasin'
kcntry any more, fer they'd only waste
their p'ison. If anything ever We're
cortion to snakes that Sugar Swamp
p'ison cure were Gosht'lmighty. how
it could draw. An that were jist the
trouble with it. 1t had SO much heft
to it's drawn powers that the danger
were that if it got its hooks onter a
feller that had snake pison in him it
we've liable to kill him while it were
curin' him. Pervidin', o course, that
We want keerful in usin' on it. The in
grejints o that Sugar Swamp snake
p'ison cure is secret ez nobody kin
ever hev outside o our family. The
prescription were thunll up by an an
cistor o mine who kim inter Sugar
Swamp wen things was skeerce
Evrything but bar an snakes. Tha
want but two barl o apple juice in
the hull settlement wen this ANCESTOR
o. mine sot down there, an folks was
comm in ev'ry day all bit up by snakes,
and consistently havin' to be filled up
with that juice in a way that were
R|armin', that bein' the only snake
p'ison cure ez were reconized 'mongst
the 'arly settlers o Sugar Swamp. So
this ANCESTOR o mine he got all worked
up over it, seein' the way things was
goin' the future were goin' to be very
short, ez fur ez life bein' pleasant had
anything to do with it, snakes bein so
plenty, folks bein' so willin' to be bit
an apple juice bein' so skeerce. So he
up an says:
Its durn shame says he, to be a
wastin' good apples, jist cause folks
won't git outen the way o. snakes! This
here's got to be stopped. A feller can't
hev no show at toothful of that apple
no more, less he goes an gifts bit by a
snake. Them two barl won't last
n1Ore'n a month, an then wat a we