Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-08-07
THE WOMAN'S NOVEL.
SECRETS NEVER BEFORE REVEAL
TO THE COLD PUBLIC. =

/
| that strange and wonderful creation "a
| woman's novel, until 1 accidentally over
| heard the following conversation between
| Mrs. Kate jenkins Shyster and Mrs. Gert;a
| Dunderfield:
DO you know Gertie," began Mrs. Kate
i've written real novel at last. and ito
| tne dearest thing you ever saw? I've got
the loveliest man in it. He's an artist and
awfuily clever and very polite and nice"
| We put MIR. Stems into my new move, I"
answered her friend. You know him
that awful prig who fell in love with me
when we were at the beach last summer
DIDN'T wind him round my little finger
thought"
My hero" went On Mrs Kate, speakino
OF her own book, meets lovely girl down
at the beach. You know how Mr.. Throck-
ton met Jennie Sturgis last summer and
nlrted her all around? Inever put real peo-
| pie into books, but couldn't help thinking
Oh her. described those lovely moonlight
nights, and l made him kiss her on the sly
which she never noticed Do you know. I
saw Mr.. L. kiss Jennie on the cheek. and
she paid no moro attention to it than if he
had been-been brushing off a fly.
i made Mr. Stems fall in love with Jen-
ME too. You know she had Irritation with
him before Mr.. Throckton and you came
down 1t was nothing but Irritation. She
never let Mr. Stems kiss her-no, can tell
| you though she made him want to so much
he could hardly stand it. don't think she
is quite such firt as made her out in NV
| novel, but l wanted a good, cold blooded
Irritation, and had to- you know
| There was slight pause after this. Then
| Mrs. Kate went on:
| w hen got through with them at the
| beach, didn't know what on earth to do
| with them. l meant to keep them off and
| on, you know, till the end of the book and
| then make them get married, but had to
| do something to amuse the readers in the
| meantime. I've heard that if you put a
| certain number of people together they will
be sure to do something So at last
thought would introduce lot of horrid
| people and just fairly nice girl or two and
see what they would DO. So put in little
Fanny Baxter, you know, and old Stanton,
who was so cross to me, and Grandma ellis,
| who whined all the time when we were over
| at Long Branch, and that timid little wom
an who never spoke to anybody. 1t took
| quite while To describe all these people.
| but when | got them described l simply
had to make hem do something, and |
| didn't have room. So l concluded to write
the thing all over and leave out a few"
| Il never have any trouble of that sort"
said Mrs. Gertia II always have six peo-
| ple-two married, two engaged and two
who simply fiiru. First they fiirt with each
| other, then with the married people and
then with the lovers. They make them
break their engagement, and they make
| one fall in love with one of the married peO-
| pie, and that makes a scandal Oh, have
no trouble with my plots at all!
But my trouble comes in putting in the
| mr. l.,
about politics and Bellamyism and the flu
ture of the novel in the United States and
all that never think of putting that in
| the first time write it out until something
| clever happens to come to me. But cener-
| ally | wait until I'm done with the plot of
| the story, and then / ask some gentleman
know to give me some notes ON the topic
want, and l write up some discussions
| and put them in separate chapters. Once
| IN awhile put 1T in the ordinary CONVEX
| sation but don't like that because some
| people do not enjoy that sort of thing, and
| II 1t is put in separate chapters they can
skip it easily, while if it is in the middle of
a nice love dialogue it makes them mad, for
they don't know how far to skip, and they
want to get to the love, you know. don't
| blame them any, for should do Just that
myself if l were reading novel But peo-
| stuff in. The newspaper critics are sure to
discuss it, and that advertises the book
| too"
II never could do that replied Mrs
Kate II often regret it. People call me
| light and frivolous, and know I'm not a
| bit more frivolous than you are, and they
| call you strong and virile.' Oh, dear, |
wish could do it,
But made my novel end in just love
| ly way. 1t all came about through a COW.
She got frightened and threw herself in his
| arms"
"Who? The COW didr'
1.-The girl, OF course. You needn't make
| fun of me-"
81 was just wanting to give you a lesson
| in English. You know the use of language
is very important thing I've studied it
awfully hard, and some of my gentlemen
friends usually look over my stories to see
| If I've made any horrid mistake in gram
mar or rhetoric. The newspaper men are
used to that sort of thing, you know"
~ wish l knew some newspaper men,"
cried Mrs KAYE dolefully. 'All the people
| I'm acquainted with are nice folks-gentle-
| men, you know" 49,,
"If my newspaper friends are not gentle
men, then Pm not lady, and you had bet
ter get right out of here"
"Oh, / was saying l wish / had such
| friends. 1t would help me any amount.
| Only don't seem to have the tact to at
| tract them"
After this there was long pause. Then
Mrs. Gertie said meditatively:
Kate, do you suppose we shall be ia
NOUS after we die, like Thackeray and Scott
| and-Shakespeare One gentleman told
me he thought was the leading light of
my age. And why shouldn't we of this age
be just as lannon's as those horrid men were
Of the last agar When this gets to be the
last age, won we be the big lights them"
You are perfectly sacrilegious, Gertie"
| exclaimed Mrs Kate. Think of comparing
| yourself to Thackeray."
But you can never tell. l suppose any
of us may turn out immortal. You can
| never tell till after you're dead Oh dearN'