Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1893-12-14


fraud or not the woman is cold. and that
as to her honesty, why give her the benefit
of the doubt. He thinks it is perfectly
ridiculous for man TO be in love with
woman, and as for children, nasty little
boats, he wonders why they are not put
IN barrels until they are trained into being
nice Icung Men and nice Young Women.
HE IS TfREsoME AND OBJECTIONABLE
in every one OF his moods but most of
all when he is declaiming with smart air
on the folly Of belief. He Is more bias
phemous than Tom Paine, and hasn't half
as much brain as the puppy bora last
month that is learning from its mother to
sitquietiy while the babies are saying their
prayers.
He prefaces all his conversation by say
ing, "A young man like me-" and then
the women look at him, and wonder by
what right he calls himself man Yet
he is here-he is all over New York. In
my heart of hearts, | believe prefer the
bully to him. The bully started out with
bit of heart, and u larger bit of brain,
and even he sometimes repents. can
not understand from what the nice Young
Man results. Sometimes | think he
growed. Sometimes think he is the
result of over-educntion. sometimes !
lhnk-well, | wouldn't dare to tell you
what think, but Darwin's theory has
great deal to do with it. / have heard
him humble over bit of cake and a cup
of tea, Just as a wel-trained monkey
would over something that he liked, and
have seen him initiate the girls in the
movements of his hands, just as | have
seen marmoset initiate u man. Really,
II makes one quite nervous about the
future. What will be the result Of him,
MONKEY OR A MAN?
He hasn't the immortality of monkey,
but he has all of his cunning; he hasn't
the brains OF a man, hut he is built like
him in miniature. Really, one Is forced
to mourn the dude when one meets the
nice Young Man. He is very modest; he
thinks it isn't quite nice to read booksthat
haven't nice words in them; consequently
Shakespeare, CunSreve, Wicherly, Smol-
lett, and all the writer's vino followed after
them are unknown to him. lie doesn't
think it is quite nice to refer to some uu-
pleasant habits right ont III open words,
consequently, he likes the Bible and the
ARABIAN Nights" revised. He doesn't
think that it is quite nice to know much;
vulgar people, who study and read books,
and, worst of all, write them; do that sort
of thing He says he remembers his
mother saying that a girls name ought
only to be in the newspaper three times IN
her lite-when She was born. when she
was married and when she died. And"
he adds, IF that is true of girl, how
much truer 1t is OF Il thoroughly nice
Young Man?' He knows there are men
who discover countries, who, as he says,
fiddle up things and bring out queer mix
lures, that they say are scientific discuv-
cries; but, after all, these are not the young
men one would wish to know. They are
| quite as likely to have dirty hands as not,
and to be thoroughly unpleasant.
He once went to a mans dinner, did this
nice Young Man, and he wac quite horri-
| fed Not because anything WAS told that
would make him blush, but because the
men got SO excited in talking about cur
rents and about Prince who threw no
end of bottles in the water, bottles that
had leather slips with u request written
| upon them that wherever the came to
| shore they would be sent back to him. He
| thought it was unutterable stupid for q
| Prince to do this sort of thing, and though
he wouldn't like it told generally, still il
did seem to him that no Prince who
troubled himself about such nonsense
could be really-well don't you know
really, quite nice Young Man. Why not
let his servants do il? Why not hire PEG.
pie who studied up such rot to work it out
and then he added, My Dear Boy, never
want to go with those men again, it is such
bad form to get excited"
GIRLS DO NOT MARRY THESE IDIOTS.
1t is pity that the nice Young Man
isn't spotted at his birth, for then the wise
doctor, recognizing him could chloroform
| him. / wish the mothers of the present
day would look at the nice Young Mar
from my standpoint. think If he came
to see girl of mine, and were an able
bodied man, should either kick all of tht
sense he had out of him, or else kick lit
tie into him. To PUT il plainly, he is ar
eifenlinate fool, and fools are thousanC
times more dangerous than knayes. / like
a man who is young, who is enthusiastic
who is good-looking and who is well
dressed. Every woman does, even If SHIT
is Oh the shady SHE of 80, but the thinl
that is presented under the name of thu
nice Young Man isn't manly, isn't nice
and is abnormal.
The girl OF to day wants to marry man
one who is stronger in brain and body than
she is, for there are times when, in thi
woman ridden country, she requires eithe
mental or physical beating, and he
man and master ought to be able to give
to her. rather like that old Saxon wa
OF calling husband My man" Tor it pre-
suppuses strength and a respect and low
given TO that strength. No woman wou
ever call the nice Young Man that. 1t rest
with the women to decide whether he sha
continue to exist. For my part, | Shout
think they would veto him without di.
sentiug voice. lie has nothing to con
mend him and everything against him
Why will continue TO think about Dal
win? He stands before you, my dear, yo
the beauty oil the day. He stands anon
your admirers. Which are you going /
choose? The man or the monkey? BAB.
|