Brookings register. (Brookings, S.D.) 1890-1894, 1893-04-28
Uncle Simon Takes u Hand.
MISTER EDITOR:


MISTER EDITOR:
AS Talmage wud say "Whar ar we
at? Last fall | and the rest OV the
fcllcrS started to clean out the kOllcgc
that IL | wllZ tOlc that doc. McLOuth
had scd get up on yur hind legs and
say suthln." So | thUt Id jine the
karaVan and clean doc. out. Wal we
tuck a guide dcCl OV stock i'm what
Frost Scd that Foster Sed that DawSun
and Orcutc Scd LapIlam had Scd he
new about the bizncSS and cS thay war
all anXuS to HAY Il veStigaShun we
pinted Will Roddlc. COckwrcn and
another independent to 60 to Pier to
see governor Sheldon and hav him
inStantcr, but the guvener didn't seem
to gras our idcc SumchOw SO we drOpt
him and went for the senate. Will
stade out tharc and seed that things
went rite. We wanted to pint the
kumittcc that wuZ to Judge doc. and
Nv kOrSc az we had made up our
minds to bounce him anyway we just
wanted to hav kumittee to make it
look as tho the thing wuZ dun cOrding
to HOilc.
Wal we got the kumittce awl rite,
but Allen the dunn igiOt blattcd the
snap out in the p. o., and gin us away
We wuZ SO Shurc the dccl would work,
hOWSumCvcr that we didn't care very
mutCh
All NV us WuZ summoned to Pier
and tel what we new, bTt dunn it
the boys didn't respond with the
whiz I'd like to hav had 'em. Then
| didn't know nuthin and lots Nv
the luther fellcrs found out when we
Sumed up, that thay didn't know as
mutch as did. SUMMON had to 60 to
keep up peerancCS, SO | went out to see
doc. veStigatcd. Frost acted as our
lawyer of course for he new aWl about
the biZneSS. and he looked nice behind
them goggles, and wuz az wizc az a
hull glass case full NV SerpentS. We
had the hull house on our side the
first session NV tie kumittee be-
cause me an the boys had been
tellin everybody all we hcared enS
body sed that sumbOdy had tOled them.
The side show ketched the crowd but
the main performance didn't pan +
as we had promised and the SpectatC S
went over to luther side Ov the bUEsc
and stood by doc Frost must haV for
got and left his story at home in his
luther pants pocket fur he told a diff
ferent StOrv Ian the one he had told
me. and me blame igiOt tOle one good
story and the next day Scd he had lied
an | kummcnccd to feel Shaky like.
Then Foster he got onto the stand an
my spinel kOllum kinder got stiff agin
coz thO't he did know Suthin, but
bust my buttons if he didn't say that
he didn't know nuthin about nuthin
only that he Scd he had etcn lots Nv
good things off NV the kOllegc farm an
Daid nuthin for 'em, and my heart
sunk into my brOgans.
Then Dawson wuZ called and the
way he stepped out made me think he
did know morn cnybOdy. If the kum-
ittee had let him alone | dO believe he
mite hav made the people think he
did hav pint, but when the chairman
made him read the whole Of does
letter he sort o forgot the run Nv his
discuShun and kertlummuXcd into
nuthin like the rest on 'cm and every
body LATED. | looked around town to
find the rest NV us to see what the
boys tho't we'd better do, but couldn't
find enybody. The KNOWN ones had
smelled mice an skipped for home
not even sayin word to me.
Wal now you needn't think | wuz
fool enough to stay round tharc eny
longer without back bone, so | made
tracks.
When | got home all the fcllers wuz
all mad at Frost and wouldn't say
nuthin about the vestlgashun and |
aXed 'em what they wuz g0in to do
next. They sed that if the vestiga-
ing and kumittee went back on us we
would say it wuz waShin-machine or
a whitewash or suthin. But, SeZ |
'haint we got the kumittee ?" One
NV the fellers remarked kinder sar-
kastic like. 1--WE had 'em, but CON
sumit. them eX-prOfeSSOrs didn't tell
the same story to the knumittee that
they told us and then the stories didn't
seem to sound as big away from home
ez they did in Brookings and the kum-
ittee can't fine an excuse to decide
apinst doc. even if they wanted to-"
So we decided to say it wuZ a white
wash and it wuZ fun to see how the
peepul swallowed the white-wash biz
ness. pail. brush and all. Then we
inst set out and sed that Dawson
could and would take the students out
if we only told him that he should
he presdent NV the kOllege after doc:
wuz bounced. Dawson pitched in and
inspired the students to hold meetlnS
and Lapham an Orcute and sum NV the
rest nv the wimin held meetinS ana
Dawson run his legs off gettin things
worked up.
The bizness worked to purfeXshun
and felt shure doc. would have 10, go
cuz the student wuZ tellln now doc.
had sed "say hunny" and stand up