davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
PUNoENr PARAGRAPHS.

-She-"How do you like my hat?'
He-"It makes your face very long"
She-'It. made papa's face very long
when he paid for it."-Truth.
Mrs. McQuerry-"Do you believe in
sympathetic suffering?' Mrs. Peck
do /? You ought to see how | suffer
when my husband is out of Sorts"
-Bertic-"Why did you buy this
picture? 1t is only flight of sparrows.
Algie-''Why, they are very Eng. ish,.
don't you know, deah boy?'--Intcr
Ocean. t84kt $50
-She-''You would be surprised if
were to tell you that am past %.
wouldn't you?' He--"I would be sur
prised at your telling me.'-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
How the Doctor Felt.-Wcllman-
II say throw physio to the dogs" DOG
tor-"All right. Do as you please. As
for myself, l can get more for it else
where. Detroit Free Press. 'N
Shuttle seems very
clever kind of fellow. How is 1t he can
turn his hand to almost anything?"
Freezeout-"Wcll, he generally carries
\ deck up his sleeve. Inter Ocean.
Good morning, my boys; IS your
father in his study?'' mo, sir; papa
has gone to the dentists to have man.
mas teeth attended to-" 20, indeedi'
''But mamma is in. Petit Parisien.
IL came here" said the youth to
peace of mind" "Ah, she said, you
appear to have piece of mind; when
do you expect to get the rest2"--N. Y.
Sun.
-Maud-"fIe asked me 10 marry him.
but said he had only broken heart to
offer me-" Marie-"Did you accept him
under those conditions?" Maud-"Yes,
his bank account was intact. IN. Y.
Herald
Its Weight They Have. n.
Gedonc-''I hear that Jeweler Gilt has
disappeared and that his liabilities are
heavy" Brad Streete $50 are his
assets-he didn't leave anything but
two safes. Jewellers Weekly.
Life is made up of paradoxea The
restaurant keeper who never purchases
anything but the cheapest clothing and
seldom has q new suit oftener than
once in ten years has supreme con-
tempt for the customer who dimes off
fve-cent sandwich and glass of water.
boston Transcript 1888
-Billups had just been graduated at
Yalcvard 81 was valedictorian of my
class, sir, Phi Beta Kappa man, and
the winner of four scholarships" he
said to the merchant to whom he APP
piled for work. Every good as far as
it goes" replied the merchant; but
what do you know about putting up
shutters and sweeping out offices and
making yourself generally useful?"-
IIarpcr's Bazaar.
Congratulations They were on q
train going from Cleveland to Column
bus o. The train was crowded and the
last man on took the first seat he could
find. ''Going to Columbus?' he asked,
after few minutes YES" was the
response of the first conner, who, by the
way, was quite respectable looking
person. "Legislature?r 'sNo!" "No?"
mo. Penitentiary." "Ah, let me con-
graduate you. I've tried both. DE.
trOit Free preSc
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

overreached the limit in the begin
ming and quit after the first week."
''Tell us about it," chorused the
crowd, always ready for yarn.
SWELL" he said, ''when was about
twenty, / was a very flip young man
and thought / was cut out for the life
Insurance business had plenty of
friends and soon had job on commits
sions and four dollars a week salary.
went ut it with rush and button
hol ed every body knew. talked life
in surance all the time and / had an
idea that what didn't know couldn't
be learned. The real facts in the case
were, / simply didn't know anything.
/ had the gift of CAB and was persuas-
i've IN my style. and that went long
way to hide my weaknesses. AS to
laws and liabilities, and that sort of
thing, / may say was absolutely ig-
norant. The first week was at it I
made ten-strike, so to speak, and run
in about four men. One of them was
for fifty thousand dollars"
The old insurance man looked up
quickly.
II had met him at the hotel and he
had told me he was travelling man.
He dressed well and was a smooth
talker, and when he asked If could
insure him for fifty thousand dollars 1
was paralyzed with joy. The man.
ager of the company was cautions, but
my man answered all the questions in
the blanks, passed the medical exami-
nation and put up the requisite fee
like little man, and sent in the APP
piication and in three or four days 1
called in the evening at his hotel with
the policy. / met him in the Office
with handsome woman, his wife, he
said when he introduced me, and he
told me to call again at nine o'clock as
they were to take the Gas train and
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

Bot on farms personal property exists
only in forms that areshard to hide and
easy for an assessor TO appraise. The
unsuccessful attempts to tax personal
property fairly and the vigorous efforts
now being made by the New York Tax
Reform association and others for its
abolition should have not only the sym-
patty but the active support of every
WORKING farmer
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

nod to him and hearty shake of the
hand for me, she excused herself and
said she had to join party of friends
and would meet her husband at the
station. Then she left with the bag,
her.
"'Let me see, he said, as he sat down
and took out his pocketbook, i be-
lieve the premium on that is in the
neighborhood of fifteen hundred dol.
lars
Fifteen hundred and sixty, to cover
everything replied.
"'Can you change a thousand dollar
bill?' he inquired
81 laughed at his little joke.
No. i said. 4 can't. I'm afraid,
and took ont roll of money which I
happened to be taking to man up.
town. I've got eight one hundred
dollar bills here, but that isn't enough
"'Give it to mel he exclaimed, maxi
ing grab for it.
81 jumped back and for tie first time
noticed the face of my friend. There
was business all over it, and ugly bust.
ness.
What do you mean@ almost
yelled.
Don't be SO Loud he whispered. 4
mean to have that money
"'Well, guess not said, coolly, as
l pulled pistol which had in my
pocket as a guard for the money was
carrying and what l expected to get
from him, though had scarcely
thought to use it under these circum-
stances.
That's all right, my chicken he
laughed. If you kill me it will cost
your insurance company fifty Thousand
dollars, for that policy is good for it,
guess
vi dropped my gun as if the man had
shot me. OF course the policy was
good for It's face, and its face was fifty
Thousand dollars. / couldn't kill him
and take the chances.
land don't make any disturbance or
call for anybody he continued, or
Ill just cut my throat with your PEN
knife have here in my hand, and will
not only be in for the fifty thousand dol.
lars, but You will have some trouble in
explaining how it happened, when
neither knife, pistol nor other deadly
weapon can be found in this room, ex-
ccpt what. belongs to you. Pm a des-
perate man and you might as well fork
over that money and such other valu-
ables as you may be possessed of
and call it square
II tried to think of some plan to es-
cape, but my brain was in whirl, and
] couldn't do thing, but stand there.
He was very polite, however, and came
to my assistance by removing the
eight hundred dollars from my person,
besides fifty dollars of my own, also
one gold watch and chain worth one
hundren dollars; one diamond stud
worth twenty-five dollars, and one gold
ring eighteen karat, worth ten dollars.
Then he carefully tied me to the bed,
put nice little gag in my mouth,
packed my stuff in his bag, turned out
the gas, bade me good-by, and, locking
the door, went softly whistling down
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
A Wise Teacher.

Father-Do you think my daughter
will ever be able to sing?
Teacher-Nevare, monsieur.
Father-Then what's the use of Civ.
ing her any more vocal lessons?
Teachc.-A great deal of use, mon
sieur. give her lessons two. three
months more, and by and byx teach
her that she can't sing. That is good
musical education for young lady.
Very important.
Father-By gimini. you're right. II
sne can't sing and you can convince her
that sh> can't. the lessons won't be
thrown avay,--N. Y. Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
Tho Boys Idea of It.

It seemed as if the visitor never would
go away. She had been there q month
or more and gave no signs of departure
One day the small boy of the house was
looking at her very intently at the
table.
What is it, johnny" she inquired
graciously, as do those who are receiv-
ing undcserycd benefactions
"Ain't no part of your head gone, is
thcrc?" he asked. T' ~ g.
''Of course not Why do you ask such
a queer question:"
'"Cause heard mamma say You were
eatin' your head off, and / wanted to
see if there was any marks of it."-De-
troit Free Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
WON ON A BLUFF.
Story Of a Life Insurance Agent
Who Knew It All.

HE life insur-
ance agent had
been tellin &
S o IN c g o o d
stories of his
experiences in
the busin c S s,
and when h G
had fin i S h c d
the drum IN e r
rose up and
stretched him
self.
II came very
near being a
life insurance
man myself"
he said, rs he
sat down, but
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

OAXN 4<A&yN -
Both the method and results When
Syrup Of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, disrels colds, head-
aches and feyers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy Of its kind ever pro-
duceG, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend is
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup Of Figs is for sale in 300
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA re syrup co.
SAN FRANCISCO. cal.
LOUISVILLE. ~. NEW y0Rk. M
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

had some business that demanded at
tention before nine. Promptly on time
appeared and was shown upstairs to
my friends room. The lady was there
looking radiant, and began to think
the life insurance business was the
finest thing on earth. handed out the
policy, which, by the way. named the
wife as beneficiary, and in the checriest
why possible she took it and locked it
up in her bag, and with pretty little
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
Home Rule in Taxation Would Cure
This.

II hold that under our present system
thereis no greater mandatory of per-
jury on the face of the earth. What is
the habit throughout the entire length
and breadth of the state of New York?
Towns are fighting towns, through
their assessors, to get at the lowest Dos
sible point the assessment of their real
and personable property, for the pur-
pose of going up to the board of super
visors, and in the taxation of the conn
ty charges to have their particular
towns as low rs possible in the roll of
taxation. That engendcrs a necessity
on the part of counties to act in the
same way; and you find the counties
cutting down their assessment rolls in
the equalization of valuation of their
property as low as possible, SO that
when they come up here to Albany and
appear before the state equalization
board, to divide the state taxation, they
shall pay the least amount of tax they
possibly can There is no attempt on
the part of the assessors and super
visors to get at the honest, actual value
of the property of the country, but
there is an attempt to get it at as low q
point as possible, in order to get an adj
vantage over neighboring towns and
counties in the operation of dividing
the taxes of the county and state. -
Hon. Thomas @. Alyord, Debates New
York Constitutional Convention.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
ELY'S
CREAM BALM

4 had cctarrh so
bad there sOere great
sores in my nose, one
place scas eaten
through. N.Y. nose
and head are sreu.
Tro 6~ttlcs Of Elys
Cream Balm did tAs
scork. C. s. 1fcMfl-
en-, Si6leu. No.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

For perfect and permanent cure Tor
Catarrh. take DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy.
IT, proprictors offer $500 reward for an
incurabfo case Of Catarrh.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
TWO MOODS.

Some times I think the world TO be
Disgustingly mundane,
With nothing beautiful or good,
But everything inane.
Why will the dust get on my shoes,
The wrinkles Ia my clothes:
Why must there be sad blemishes
In everything that grows:
Why is the world with shoddy filled'
Why had the mucker life;
And why must every lovely thing
Be crushed out In the strife:
My cultured soul, with grand ideals,
Gets shocked on every side;
I'm elbowed IL / walk the streets,
I'm 1olted II ride;
I'm sickened by the vulgar crowd
That hustles night and day;
I'm bored TO death to sit around
And idle time away.
1t makes no difference where I am;
All crumbles that touch,
Shocks my ideals and soils my hands,
And grieves me overmuch,
Until at last, with sickened heart,
shrink away In pain;
And then I'm forced TO think the world
Disgustingly mundane.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

But then, again find the world
Delightfully."- mundane
The dear old world, that offers us
Its pleasure with its pain.
My soul grows lonesome by itself;
My shoulders fairly ache
To feel the push OF other men
In iife's stern give and take,
feel the blood surge through my veins
Until my muscles swell,
And straightway all my fine ideals
Turn ghosts beneath the spell
AndFdust, and dirt, and blemishes,
Seem dearer to me then
Than any spotless paradise
With artificial men.
The hurdy-gurdy's deafening bang,
The street bands awful bray,
The gent" that takes his lady friend"
To picnics down the bay,
The baseball crank, the college man,
The swell, and all the rest
they shock me sometimes, but they touch
A chord within my breast.
All! yes; although the world Is coarse
And vulgar and profanc,
/ find II, after all. TO he
Delightfully."- mundane!
-Ayarv
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28
Taxation Which Does Not Pay.

Vessel property is of such nature
that only such owners as wish to be
need be taxed for it. The companies
who are brought into the collectors
hands by the recent decision can find
scores of places all about the lakes
which will be glad to let their boats lie
up without taxing them for the priv
ilege, and they will escape from De-
troit's tax gatherer simply by escaping
from Detroit Their departure will
necessarily injure the town to some exc
tent, if it only deprives Detroit work.
men and business men of the money ex-
pended every spring in fitting out But
the indirect injury will be much greater.
Ship building and repairs will naturally
follow the ships to the places where
they are treated with the greatest gem
erosity, and it will only need continu-
alton of the policy to Danish to other
ports every dollar which is now ex-
pended here by the shipping interest.
The recovery of few Thousand dollars
from the ship owners this year will
hardly compensate the city for the in-
jury that would ultimately be done the
town by driving the shipping interests
out of it by hostile treatment.
But why should not this sort of prop
erty be taxed as well as other sorts,
may we ask? The answer maybe put
as another question:: Why is not the
promissory note taxed? Why is it that
under our most recent law mortgages
can no longer be taxed? Why is not
the cash in your pockets taxed? Why
is not your balance at the bank taxed?
Simply because the experience of man.
kind has discovered that no community
can make that sort of taxation pay.
There are certain things which even the
omnipotence of government can rot
do, and this Is one of them When
mankind has a good deal more expert
ence, it may dawn upon governments
that they arc still trying to tax good
many things which do not pay for the
trouble. And possibly we may live to
see the day when Taxation win no
longer be used as means of depressing
industry, discouraging enterprise and
promoting unproductive speculation
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-01-28

A particle IS apsAed Into each nostrii and .
agreeable. Price 80 cents at Druggists or by mnlA
ELY BROTHERS, e Warren ST.. New York.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16
A CHASTITY FIND.
Discovery of the Remains of a Whole Troop
of Soldiers.

Of Soldiers.
ABUQUIN, n. NJ, March 13.-Capt.
Stanley of the Silverton. company, ac-
companied by Thomas Sewell, {. }.
Gain and E. J. Clark of Denver. while
prospecting in what is known as the
Devils Gulch. they were astonished be-
yond all measure at a CHASTITY discovery
they made there in the way of lot of
skeletons of a company OF soldiers that
has been missing from Fort Marcy ever
since the memorials day of the Apache
raid Oh Espanola. Sept. 9, 1879. 1t was
supposed that they nad been massacred
by the Apaches. as not one OF the 43
ever returned but it seems they all
must have drank from the poisonous
Verdigris spring. where their skeletons
have lain bleaching for the last IA
years. Forty-three skeletons. some OF
them still incase,i in uniform. three
piles of guns stacked as they left them.
a lot of ammunition. and the skeletons
of A. horses constituted the extent of
the CHASTITY discovery of Capt. Stanley
Aand his party.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16

A SERIOUS and painful accident, caused
by an avalanche of snow and ice from
the roof of the Northwestern Cordagc
works. st. Paul, occurred the 10th, in
which three men We're seriously in
jured and one was slightly bruised.
The injured men were in the employ of
the cordage company and We're en-
gagged in unloading freight car stand
ing on a side track at one end Of the
building and directly underneath the
ovcrhanging roof. They were John
Marks. VIM. Lehman, John Foley and
Joseph Near.
THE officials of the United States mint
in Philadelphia. the 18th, held the
largest amount of bar silver ever stored
in one mint in the United States. The
quantity is 11O.OCO.OO ounces, or fully
enough. with the usual alloy, to make
$50. 600. 900 silver dollars.
THE New Jersey Legislature has
passed law prohibiting winter racing.
REPORTS from the North and South
Platte country received at railroad
Headquarters at Omaha. the 18th. show
that the heavy rains are playing havoc
with the railroad property along the
North Platte. South Platte and Loup
rivers. bridges being torn from their
moorings by the drifting ice and gorges,
damming the water SO that tracks are
inundated and some parts abandoned.
THE farmers of Polk county, Ia, have
started an anti-good roads organization.
They are not opposed to good roads,
but they want to know who will foot
the bills.
BY the death of VIM. Farrell, of the
Pleasant Mills Printing company of
Philadelphia. Cecilia Hibbs Farrell
comes into fortune. Miss Hibbs a
year ago was a typewriter for Farrell
and married him, although he was So
years old and she only %. Farrell left
his fortune of $500. 900 to his wife.
u. S. KEYS Of Chicago the night of
the 18th, while in fit of drunken rage,
shot his wife and neighbor, Mrs.
Mary Weir. and then tried to put bull
let into his own brain. 1t is thought
that none of the shots will prove fatal
THE legislature of California the af-
ternoon of the 18th passed resolutions
to move the capitol from Sacramento to
San Jose The action. though hasty,
appears to have been earnest. The inn
mediate animus of the resolution was
an article in Sacramento evening
paper headed. THANK God the Legis.
lature Will Soon Adjourn and profess
ing to rccite various misdeeds and mis-
81
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16
Highway Robbery.

ST. PAUL. March 13-In the broao
daylight of Saturday afternoon a dar-
ing highway robbery was committed in
a lonely portion of the Chicago Great
Western.yards on the West side. Two
laboring men, Joseph Hoffman and
Charles Branstadter. under promise of
securing employment, were lured there
by couple of men and pounded and
choked into insensibility, while the rob
bers relieved them of their valuables.
Mike Nolan, charged with being one of
the highwaymen. was arrested. and the
other one escaped.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16
Special Cabinet Session.

WASHINGTON, March 11.-At a special
cabinet meeting yesterday to consider
the Hawaiian annexation treaty. which
was withdrawn from the senate, it was
said a decision was reached to send to
Hawaii as soon as possible a senatorial
committee or a commission to be APP
pointed by the president to investigate
the alleged revolution and to make a
report later in the summer.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16

PORTLAND. Mich, March l3.-The De-
troit. Lansing & Northern railroad is
the heaviest loser by the food which
has continued since Friday night Last
night 600 feet of track was washed out
half mile east of the depot by an ice
gorge. which turned the course of Look
ing Glass river across the roadbed. The
break was discovered just before pas
senger train from the west was due to
pass. A wrecking train arrived at an
early hour and the track has been re-
paired so that trains will probab bly, cross
tomorrow. Several other bridges are
in danger. This town is still in dark
ness. the electric light plant having
been flooded
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16

NJ. Charles de Lesseps Tells All He Knows
of Panama Corruption - Ciemenceau,
Freycinet and FIoquet Implicated.
PARIS, March 9.-Thc first hearing
in the trial of NJ. Proust and his col
leagues implicated in the Panama canal
corruption business gives the re-
suits which public curiosity expected.
The hearing lasted from IL o'clock
in the morning until o'clock in the
evening. NJ. Charles de Lesseps had
decided to tell all he knew, and he did
so. The whole session was taken up
with his interrogatory. NJ. de Lesseps
avowed his relations with Cor
nelius Herr and the late
Baron de Reinach, Herr, said
M. de Lesseps, was acquainted with
President Grevy, which inspired con-
fidepce in NJ. de Lesseps. The inter-
vention of NJ Clemenceau, NJ. de Frey
cinet and NJ. Floquet was also proven.
Theref fore the general opinion is that
the political career of these three
statesmen is absolutely at an end.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16
Hanged.

CENTER Ala, March II. sherman
Arp, a negro, was hanged here on
Friday. Arp killed an old white
farmer named Hoque several months
ago. The murder was committed for
the purpose of securing sum of money
which Hoque had il the house. On
Wednesday Arp sold his body to med
ical student for $3.50, and spent the
money for choice viands and whisky.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16
THE REDWOOD GAZETTE.
For sale

16Oacres in Underwood, unimproved
at $500 an acre.
l6O acres in town of Sheridan, good
house and barn and fenced pasture
with living water 5000
40 acres in town of Kintire, 21O
acres under cultivation, 20 acres fenced
pasture, large house and barn and
other improvements $4,000.
We have the j. A. Willard. Wright
Il Austin. and the Am. Land Colonial
ton Co.'S for sale. and many other
tracts. Some very cheap.
J. 3. ROBINSON q Co
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1893-03-16
Given q High Honor.

WASHINGTON. March 1l.-Rev. Sam
uel L. Beiler, D. D., has been elected
vice chancellor of the American uni
versity at Washington. DR.. Boiler
graduated from the Ohio Wesly an uni
versity, from the school of liberal arts
and the theological department of the
Boston university. He enters upon the
duties of his office April l.