The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-11-24
A MATTER OF HABIT.
Unpleasantness q Foe That Intrudss Cpol
the Home Almost InsidIOu>lv.


Uppleasantness Foe That Intrudes Cpon
the Home Almost InsidIou>lv.
Our moods as well as our actions are
very much the results of habit, and
very often, as we know, our most Of
fensive habits get the better of us. 1t
would matter less if we alone were the
sufferers. but when they mean disap-
pointment and unhappiness to others,
especially to those who'are nearest and
dearest to us, it is time to step before
the mirror of determination and be-
hold ourselves in our true light The
reflection would. undoubtedly, make
new and unpleasant revelations, and
we would be little surprised. per
haps, to see ourselves shown forth as
victims of tho habit Of unpleasant
ness. Yes. our contemporary. the Con-
gregationalist, speaks truly when it
says that being pleasant Is largely a
matter of habit and that it must be
cultivated like every other good habit.
We have probably never before recog-
nized this fact, and for that reason its
truth will come home to US all the
more forcibly.
1t is no easy matter to overcome bad
habits, for as they are usually the out
come of carelessness they are left to
grow unheeded until they unconscious
" become parts of ourselves Bad
habits, like weeds, need no cultiva-
ton: good habits, like flowers. need
constant attention. 1t is very easy for
ono to find fault at home with things
which ordinary courtesy and ambition
for the good opinion of others prevent
one from noticing abroad. In society
we display, without effort. graces OF
temper and speech which at home are
often shown only with the greatest
difficulty. We do not mean to place
outsiders above our own cherished
ones, observing toward them courte-
sizes, or favoring them with kindnesses,
that are neglected at home, but the re-
straint Of the outer world and the
freedom of the family world being SO
Numerically opposite have had wholly
different effects. We may have al
lowed ourselves to be carried on by
these influences until we have estab-
lished the habits of unpleasantness at
home and pleasantness abroad to such
an extent that it seems like one gigan-
tic hypocrisy. We would hesitate long
before reproving friend for his i'll
temper. while at home we would speak
of it with frankness more forcible
than kind; and we would turn away
hi vtA
had it been served under other condi-
tions, we would regard our host with
an amiable smile and swallow it with
a most facile compliment. OF course
we do not mean such rudeness, but 1t
comes as the unconscious result OF hal
it's that, with little care, need never
have existed.
The little reproofs must necessarily
come now and then, and often are we
prompted to utter the plain, un-
vanished truth: but we need not
growl it out, or say it in any way un.
kindly Differences of opinion there
NAV be and must be in every house
hold" says the Congregationalist. 1T
would be very monotonous if all the
members of family thought alike.
Good-tempered discussion and the
mutual agreement to differ hurts nc
ones feelings. 1t is the want OF self
control, shown in snappish tones. curt
replies and sulky looks, that spoils the
peace of mind of those who are sub
jected to them. For a person to come
to the table and sit buried in gloom
throughout the meal, not vouchsafine
a word or smile, or contributing in
any way to the pleasure of those as
sembled there, shows selfishness
which is appalling and inexcusa BILE
Away from home he would make AT
effort to be agreeable, and it is no les:
necessary because he happens to be il
the privacy of his own house" What
ever be the provocation. rudeness j.
| never to be excused. No well-bred mar
or woman allows hasty word to pas:
his lips for it jars upon the modesty
and refinement of his nature. In the
home, as in society. he never forget
| his courtesy and never ignores The
rights of those in whose happiness HI
has so large share. He never allow
| himself to become the victim of tn,
| habit Of unpleasantness. - Boston
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