Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1893-09-07
COURTEOUS WAYS.
Their Value to Young People DESTROYS of
Making the Most of Life.


Making the Most of Life.
"A good manner" SAYS Bulwer. is
the best thing in the world either to
get good or to supply the want of it. :"
Politicians are well aware of this, and
therefore are careful to put hinge in
the neck, and keep it well oiled. In
many private callings coarse. awlz-
ward, or offensive manners often neu-
tralize the finest intellectual gifts. 1t
seems hard j II men should be prepos-
sessed or prcjudiced regarding one an
other by what is merely superficial;
but the simple fact is, they are There
are thousands of good, even excellent
persons in the world with a certain
hardness of character whose manners
are disagreeable. There are blunt and
boorish Shy and reserved men. with
whom intercourse is exceedingly I'M
pleasant 1t is not that they are
malignant, but they lack a deli
cate perception of the little
trifing things by which pain or
pleasure is caused. Again, there
are rude cynical, restless people-the
cOntradicters and railers at public and
private tables, that, as Emerson says,
are like terriers, who conceive it the
duty of dog of honor to growl at any
passerby, and do the honors of the
house by barking him out of sight On
the other hand, there are men of win
ming, sympathetic, golden temper, with
whom n half-hours talk is as invigo-
rating as bath of sunshine. Is there
any doubt to which Of these classes be-
long the men who get on in life?
"Civility," says Lady Montagu. costs
nothing and brings everything. The
shrewd Nine. de Tencin gave as a rule
to Nine. de Geoffrin. who was educated
under her: Never rebuff any man. for
though nine persons out of ten should
not give themselves farthing's worth
of trouble for you, the tenth may be
come a useful friend" Many a fortune
has been won by little attentions that
were not tinged with the hope of
after reward, but were sincere and
kindly ones springing from good
heart and good breeding combined
1t is related of the wife OF DR. Dodd
that once. when attending an auction,
She bid for a cabinet, and was at once
outbidden by a lady present upon
which Mrs. Dodd Immediately courte-
seyed and retired from the contest
The lady. who had set her heart upon
the article, was SO pleased by this, that
she expressed a desire for better ac-
quaintance with Mrs. Dodd. and short
~ afterward presented her with lot
tery-ticlIet which drew prize of one
thousand pounds. A celebrated En-
glish politician is said to have won an
influential ladys support in an inn
portant election, by listening patient
IL as She explained to him in detail
fourteen ways of making a certain
kind of cake. The glaring vices of
Charles James Fox were overlooked by
those who felt the fascination of his
manner His courtesy and affability
preserved him from personal dislike.
even when he had gambled away his
last dollar, and politically was the most
unpopular man in England. When
Pitt, his chief opponent. was asked in
Paris in 1888, by some French states
men how a man ruined by the dice-box
and the turf, could have such weight
in England he replied: You have
never been under the wand Of the
magician"
Can this charm of manner true
courtesy, be acquired: and if it can in
what way? No doubt it is often
natural gift. but it is often, too, the
result Of art and culture. Though
when it is in perfection I'VE can not
analyze it and detect its hidden mvs-
terry any more than we can analyze a
delicate perfume, yet it is in substance
what Lord Chatham. in his letters to
his nephew at Cambridge. calls be
nevolence n little things. This be-
nevolence is noU to be acquired by
studying rules of etiquette, though
these are not to be despised. OF course
a well-bred man will be truthful,
calm, quiet dignifed, and self-pos-
sessed; he will not be unduly familiar
or obtrusive; viii not be supercilious,
boastful. or vain of his gifts or ac-
complishments; will be respectful
to his interiors, and tender
toward the weak; viii be
self-denying without effort; will
listen attentively when spoken to. and
not interrupt the speaker: win tell few
stories in general society. and when re
tells one viii make it brief. and avoid
needless details, etc But these are
merely the outward manifestations Of
courtesy, which has its source within
in the heart True courte springs
from r2o74eos r. Irq-t Toa ain it you
must ID h..-a v-ti. i s a and loving
sp.4.t lu4 l.a !, .-4,1 nat sir Philip