Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-07-20

to remain with you after the others had
gone home. I say could imagine
Robert cooling his heels and shaking the
water out of his umbrella in the front
entry of the White House waiting to get
in, but, failing even to do that, then 60
ing sadly away, while in the distance he
could hear you pouring out volley OF
oaths on Mr.. Cleveland. Then l hear
the gentle, quiet voice of the poet as he
quotes from himself:
And yet deem that God is not disQuieted.
Do you realize, Thurber, that you and
1 and the German emperor are only
worms in the vast economy of nature?
Do you understand that men struggle
to the close of a long lifetime and are
never heard of? That they study and
work to get even an opportunity to ap-
pear on the stage, think thought and
retire? Do you consider the fact that
they fail even in that?
Why should you and try, Thurber,
try to be great stars and be well fixed,
when the nearest fixed star is so far away
that it takes three years for its light to
reach US, and he is not so very well fixed
either?
We should not overestimate ourselves,
Thurber We should be modest. Look
at the pictures made to represent me.
Would you stand that, Thurber? No,
indeedy!
Here is a boy who writes me on a
postal card, Notwithstanding the ruling
in the Thirty fifth Massachusetts, Reports
in Bingham versus bingham, page POS
viz, that correspondence purported to
have been carried on by means Of postal
cards is not admissible as evidence, the
court having dismissed the case with
costs because the evidence hung upon
matter written on a postal card.
He reminds me of You, Thurber, in the
way he reprimands his superiors and
snubs them and sauces them by postal
card for laxness in sending two auto
graphs at Once-one for himself, l pre-
sumo, and one for the cigars:
MELRosE Mass April q.
DEAR Mr. NYE-l sent to you q letter on the
I'D day of February asking for two of your
autographs. inclosed a 2-cent stamp. Now,
do not why have not received a reply. Is
it because you did not receive my letter, Is It
because you are. as | have heard is the case
with all humorists. unwilling to oblige mo, or
is it for some other reason? Pray relieve my
mind by replying and sending two autographs.
l am boy 10 years Of age and go to the high
school Yours truly. ALECK l.
You do wrong, in the first place, in
signing yourself Aleck l, or Smart Aleck
|. Aleck MDCCCXCIII would be more
appropriate, for l have other such postal
cards
But l will not try TO brave it out.
Aleck. l alone am to blame. 1t is bet
ter to expose myself in the paper and let
the whole world know what a wretch 1
am.
Aleck. was unworthy of your trust
used the stamp you sent me. en-
bezzled it. wrote to my grandmother
in Wisconsin and put that stamp on the
letter. You know how times have been
since.
could not write to you and tell you
what l had done l was unable to right
the great wrong or even confess it to you.
Have pity on me, Aleck l, aged 16-have
pity and let it go.
You speak harshly of humorists. That
does not concern me. Your cold stabs
per postal card fall harmlessly on my
massive skull. When you revile the
farmer, l writhe and squirm, but your
| attacks on the humorist do me good.
Hop on EN-, Aleck! They deserve it.
They would he improved by it. Write
them on the back of a postal card fire.
| quently. But go easy on US farmers.
You can have no idea, Aleck. what a
| shrinkage there has been in values. 1t
| applies to everything. \ week ago had
Worlds fair watermelon! Yesterday
| went down to gloat over it. 1t had
shrunk to little dead melon that had
been tapped twice!
Do not write me any more. however,
| Week. l do not build mp correspond
ei:cr generally with those who write me
for two autographs.
| There is another reason why in later
/ years l have neglected my autograph
| friends, and l am sorry and ashamed to
admit it here in public, but the consump-
| tive young man who did my best auto
/ graph fact similars is dead.