Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-07-03
JUST FOR FUN.
The Daughter of an Editor-Why
did you reject him? ''He was not ac-
commanded by Stamns J,

| COAA CesA1O0 ny dLIDO.
I Suffered from acute Inflammation in my
nose and head-for week at a time 1 could
not used Ely's Cream Balm and in a
few days cured. 1t is wonderful h ow
quick it helped me.-Mrs. George S. Judson
Hartford, Conn.
A Kansas cyclone is spoken of which
was SO terrible in it's fury that it blew
all the keyholes out of the doors.
Irate Caller-Is the editor in? Office
Boy-No. Caller-How soon will he
come in? Office Boy-As soon as 70 U
60 out.
| Some Remarkable Cures Of deafness re
| corded of DR.. Thomas Electric Oil. Never
fails to cure headache.
She How was your speech at the
club received the other night? He
When I sat down they said it was the
best thing [ ever did.
Hicks-Did you hear about Brash's
death? He died quite suddenly. Wicks
1t was like him. He always was SO
impulsive, you know.
A farmer who wished to enter some
| animals at an agricultural exhibition,
wrote as follows to the Secretary:
Center me for jackass.''
For lame pack or for pain in the side
chest, try saturating piece of flannel with
Chamberlain's Pain Balm and binding it
to the affected parts. This treatment will
cure any ordinary case in two days.
Pain Balm also cures rheumatism. so cent
bottles for sale by H. c. Pierce, Barton, VT.
Mrs. Squeezem I mean to have
spring lamb and green peas for dim
ner soon. Boarder-I move that your
resolution be tabled at once.
When you wish to communicate
with the spirits, do you do SO by rap
ping? New member-Yes; three times
on the back door of the saloon.
Judge-What was your first step in
crime which led up to this daring forg-
cry. Prisoner-I changed the date of
my wife's letters before I finally mail
ed them.
If you troubled with a ''hacking cough
Down S Elixir will give you relief at once.
Warranted as recommended or money refund
ed.
Chow is it that the milk has lately
had such a watery taste?' 'Well, you
see, the COWS have new kind Of food;
and, besides, your last months bill is
not paid yet.
Stranger addressing an old colored
bricklayar) = Uncle, who's building
this house? Colored bricklayer- Mr..
Hirseburg, he built the house; but
Queen Anne, she drawed de plan.
Servant Please, ma'am, there's
poor man at the door with wooden
legs Young Why, Ba
bette, what can we do with wooden
legs? Tell him we don't want any.
Hicks-I think 1 shall bring up my
boy to follow the the sea for liveli
hood. Dix-Why have you settled on
that? Hicks 1t seems to be the only
industry in which one is not expected
to begin at the bottom.
The Senator who has just sat
down. whispered the guide in the
visitors gallery, ''began his public ca
reer as a page" sIndeed!o said the
visitor. II Judge from his speech that
he has developed into a volume"
Mother i wish you to go to the
store and get me bariof soap. Little
I've got an awful toothache.
Mother Does it really ache much?
Johnny - Awful! [ can't let thing
touch it! Mother-Then you may also
bring a pound Of raisins.
Dashaway-You say your sister will
be down in a minute, Willie. That's
good news. [ thought, perhaps, that
she wanted to be excused, as she did
the other day. Willie-Not this time.
[ played trick on her. Dashaway-
What did you do? Willie (triumph-
antly)-I said you were another fell
low.
"Confound It'll" exclaimed Jackson,
'what stupid fellow that jeweller
isl" CHOW SOP" inquired his friend.
''Why, told him the other day that I
wanted engraved in the engagement
ring the letters From to T.
from Arthur to Zenobia, you know
and the idiot went to work and put in
the whole alpha bet"