The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-10-17
THE DEMOCRATIC PLATFORM
As it is Being Carried Out by King Cleve-
land and the Machine Democrats,

r. ) It IS 0elngg - aTTleQ Gut Dy King CleVe-
land and the Machine Democrats.
1. We demand that as soon as the
President is elected that he get off the
platform he was elected on and go fish
ing.
2. We demand that as soon as the
President is sworn in and everybody
gets sober, that he put in just as many
Republicans and whiskey sots in his
Cabinet and as many negroes in the
mail service as he may think in his
wisdom will be necessary to keep on
the good side of the white Republicans,
negroes and the whiskey rings.
3. We demand that if Wall street or
any part of the money lords or mo
nopoly shall get panicky, that the
President shall call Congress together
during dog days or any other days and
he shall dictate to them what they
must not recommend.
4. We demand that the President
shall go fishing again and let Congress
sweat and cuss and the toiling masses
go on with their work and keep their
mouths closed.
5. We demand that there shall be
but one standard of money, and that
gold. That silver plank we had in was
only fun; we did not mean it; we did it
to catch the votes of the mutton heads.
6. The President shall have the right
to knock the platform into a cooked
hat if it is necessary to protect his
brewery, gas and sugar trust.
z. We demand that the President
shall withhold appointing patronage
from any Senator who fails to do his
bidding; such cranks as Zeb Vance,
Talbert, Bland, etc.
8. We demand that the tariff be laid
over for the next campaign. It is all
we will have to fool the people with,
and that yarn we told them about it
robbing them to the tune of $13, 500, 900
a week was all miserable Democratic
| lie, but we fooled them all the same.
g. We demand that the Union sol
diers, their widows, nurses and grand
daddies shall be looked after so far as
pensions are concerned, but we would
recommend that they die off as fast as
possible and say nothing about it so
that we officers can steal the pensions
a few years before the people find it
out.
10. We demand that no money be
coined or struck only by order of the
Democratic President.
Resolved, That we believe that all
States, cities and towns in the United
States should have the power to change
their constitutions and municipal laws
to suit the Democratic party.
g. That they shall have power on
the day of election, if not done before
hand, to change their election laws to
suit the Democratic voters.
8 That small towns shall have power
to vote as many illegal votes as is nee
essary to elect machine Democrats
over Third party and Republican can
didates.
4. That if 26 citizens who are not all
Democrats and are short on brains and
are not able to purchase a bicycle,
should petition a town board to pro
hibit bicycles being run on the side
walk, and ten should petition to the
contrary and that ten were men of
brains and could purchase a bicycle
and were good machine Democrats,
that the board should act on what 10
said and let the 26 go.
5. That the mayor of town should
have the power to insult a citizen if he
fails to get out of the way Of his
bicycle. Com.