The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-12-20
A Cleveland Prayer.
How the Mayor OfIrwin, COL, Closed
democratic Convention.

| d U6HOCTdtiC GOuNCuuOH.
Prayers to Cleveland are much in
vogue out West, but the GunnisOn, Col,
Tribune publishes the best that has yet
appeared. Ii was addressed to Almighty
Cleveland" and was spoken by Edward
Croke, Mayor of Irwin, at the close of the
Democratic County Convention on Octo-
Der 3lst:
"Oh, almighty and all-powerful Cieve-
land, who art in Washington when not
fishing; thou who art the father of Ruth
and Ruth's sister and the godfather Of
the Democratic party, its father wouldn't
own it if he were here.) we hail thy
name as the great political prophet Of
the century. We bow down before thee
in humble political obedience When
thou sayest 90, We go when thou slyest
come, We come We have no desire bat
to serve thee. If thou sayest black is
white We will swear to it and lick the
everlastin' stuffin' out Of the man who
disputes it. When thou takest snuff We
will sneezs when thou sayest free silver
we will echo thy words when thou say
est gold then gold it is. We are DEM
ocrats after the improved modern type.
Our business is to vote the ticket and
vote 'er straight What is it 10 Us wheth-
er we have free silver G. not? We are
but dogsthat eat Of the crumbs and when
they fall we wag our tails when they
fall fast we wag faster when they don't
fall, We stand and wait until they do. This
is Democracy. This is the kind of Dem
ocracy that elected thee, our great and
almighty Cleveland. Oh, most adored
master, We love thee for what thou hast
not done for us. We love thee because
thou art Cleveland. We humbly sur
render ourselves to thee. Do with us as
thou wilt Though wheat is but forty
cents a bushel, We love thee; though cot
ton is low, We love thee; though busi-
ness is dull, We love thee though thou
sands, yea millions are out Of employ
ment, We love thee; though our children
are clothed in rags, We love thee though
our wife, the dear companion Of our
bosom, is scantily dressed and looks so
shabby she can't go to church we love
thee though we are sinking deeper into /
debt and poverty is knocking at the door, |
and hunger is staring Us in the face, We
love thee STILL This shows our great |
faith and love for thee. Oar wives and /
children we are willing to sacrifice even
as the HindoO mother sacrifices her |
offspring by throwing it under the crush /
ing wheels of the Juggernaut. Oh. /
mighty Cleveland, words cannot express /
our love for thee. We love our party, |
too. What care We about the many
promises it made. We know it promised |
free silver, and We know it won't give it /
to Us, but we will stick to the party. We !
know we said that if it did not do the /
things promised we would leave il, but |
We lied when We said il. We thought /
We had some manhood about Us, but We 1
amt. Wehave enoiadependence. Thou, /
oh mighty Cleveland, hast all the man
hood and independence in the party. I
We are fools, liars, lickspittles, mudsills.
We have no business to want anything /
or say anything. Last year we favored !
free silver, and now we have TO oppose il. |
We favored il then because We thou sht |
il was right. We oppose it nov, most /
sdored master, because thou tellest Us
20.
Amt we honey OF the drst water
Did ever dog serve his master more /
faithfully? Did ever dog get less for it? /
Oh, mighty master, We are ever ready to
serve thee and party. All the pay We I
ask is TO be patted on the back by s0ms
local politician and called good DEM
ocrat. Weain't got any sense. We don't |
want any, only enough to vote the ticket. !
It don't take any sense to be a good DEM
ocratic. What a joyful thought! We
don't have to think. We don't have 10 /
worry. Our work is all mapped out for /
US. All that is xpected Of US is to do what /
we are told to do. We thank thee, o |
Cleveland, that We are Democrats. We 1
thank thee for the panic. We thank 1
thee for the hungry and idle men and 1
women in the land. We thank thee for /
low prices. We thank thee for the banks /
that have busted and the Thousands Of I
business failures since thou hast come in |
to power. We thank thee for the hard /
times. We thank thee for the rags our
children wear. We thank thee for the |
clothes our wife needs and can't get. We /
thank thee for what thou hast done for
be banker and what thou hast not done
for the people. We thank thee for all
these things because it is our duty as 4
good Democrat to do so. II may be
against the grain" but we will take our
medicine. We will work our wives to
death, starve our children, saerifce our
homes, crucify liberty snd kill prosper ity,
but will never go back on our dear old
party, and on thee, our most adored
Cleveland. Thou art Of more account
than all Of us put together. Thou know
est more than the South and West. Call
US fools, spit in our faces, wipe your feet
on Us, we will love thee all the more.
And now our great political father we
leave US in thy care. Do with US as
thou wilt Kick silver into the middle
Of the next century; give more priyi-
leges to the National Banks; issue more
/ bonds. preserved the Mckinley bill
establish State banks; foster trusts
bribe Congressman with patronage; fish
whenever thou wilt and hunt snips
whenever thou carest to, and We will in
dorse everything thou doest, carry Cieve-
land roosters, campaign torches and for
evermore sing thy praise. Amen
How do you do when you buy shoes or
clothing? Don't you go to the place III
you can find it, where they tell you that
| vou may wear the articles ont and then