The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1893-11-28
Story Ielers In Congress.
4py AMOS 81 cuMMINes, OF n. ..

- - 10 EoEa E
y AT q first glance this Congress- would
seem.to have more than it's proportion
OF story ~tellers. The stories, however, |
bear no comparison to the number OF
speeches made in the House. Anec-
dotal illustrations are really very few. |
Some are stale, while others are quaint
without them discussion or debate
would be dull indeed. The first story
told on the foor this session came from
Mr.. Cooper, of Florida. The House |
had been In session ten days, before the
Z anecdotal vein was rev called. Cooper's
story illustrated precisely a point
which he was making in 81 anti-silver
speech. He could not reconcile him
self to vote for a measure which would
make fifty-seven cents worth of silver
q dollar. II this was done he thought
his people ought to receive o dollar for
every fifty-seven cents worth Of cot
~ ton, tobacco, yams and oranges. He
p did not say that he supported such u
proposition but informed the House
that he would manage to hold his con-
science in allegiance" .s,.a -.
San acquaintance OF mine," said
Mr.. Cooper, twas cow attorney for q
certain railroad. His duties we're to
go around and resist claims for cattle
J killed on the track. He resorted to
legal bubbles and delays, and continu-
ed in service about three years, when
: the railroad company discharged him.
Thereupon he became q very active
and Jealous promoter Of like claims on
the other side One day as he was adj
dressing the jury in u Justices court
he became very severe not only upon
the company, but upon the attorney
representing the company. Finally,
the other counsel could stand it no
longer, and threw his record at him.
"Didn't you for three years repre-
sent this railroad and resist just such
claims as this, doing what l am doing,
only a deal more ?"
Whereup0n the indignant cow attor-
ney replied /: "Sir, for three years l
held my conscience in allegiance, but
now it is broke loose"
To clinch the anecdote Mr.. Cooper
said that he had not held his conscience
in allegiance, but If he was TO do it he
wanted to see some tangible benefit for
his people:
TIE next anecdote was related by
1t was an old-timer. Josiah Patterson,
of Tennessee, had happened to remark
in his anti-silver speech hat we had
+ come to the fork Of two roads. Mr..
Hutchinson was making a silver speech
and said that if this was so he would
stand where the colored man in the con-
gregation stood. The minister said
that broad road am de road that
leadeth to destruction, and straight
and narrow am de path hat leadeth to
eternal ~damnation," and these we're
two roads mentioned in Scripture.
AT this an old darky in the congrega-
ton Jumped to his feet shouting. off
dat am de case den ais yere niger
takes straight to de woods"
Nh. Hutchinson said that it might be
that he should be obliged to take
straight to the woods but if he did he
{ wanted h Democratic party to hew
the way, and he wanted tho gentleman
from Tennessee to be present to chop
along the line and help his party
throught the wilderness.
N next yarn came from the lips of
that classic scholar of Harvard, DR..
William Everett, of Massachusetts.
He was amazed at the determination
of some gentlemen of all three parties,
Democrats, Republicans, and Populists,
to find politics somewhere in some part
OF the silver dicussion. They had a
wonderful nose for the political cat in
every bag OF meal presented to them.
1T reminded him of what happened in
q certain poor religious congregation
In England. The congregation wanted
to procure new hymn books, but they
were very poor and could not afford to
{ pay for them at the ordinary prices.
They understood, however, that a Ger
= tain great advertising house, q bust
ness house that made patent medicines,
was willing to furnish them hymn
books at a penny each if they would
allow some advertisements to be in
serted in the books. They thought
that would be no special harm, that
they might have a few pages of adver-
- fionrnnnfD hntttl rN ,.Ll -
Doddridge. They agreed to the pro-
position. The books came duly print
ed, and they got down to the church on
the oath of December.
On Christmas morning the model
Christians, who had no thought of any
thing but religion, got up to sing.
Their pastor gave out by the first line
q very familiar hymn. Immediately
the congregation arose to their feet,
n in u few seconds were aghast to
find themselves singing
Hank the herald angels sing
Beecham's pills are just the thing.
Peace on earth and mercy mild
: w for man and one for child.
The House broke into uncomfortable
laughter and cheercd DR.. Everett to
the echo.
"A laughable story was told by the
Hon. w. j.. Talbert, of South Carolina,
a day or two afterward.. He said he
had listened with a great deal Of
earnestness to speeches on both sides
of the question. He had listened SO
seriously and patiently that sometimes
he had been in the position of the lit
tile boy whose mother, in making him
his first pair of trouser, put the front
in the rear The little fellow started
for school the next morning, and walk
Ing cheerfully along until he looked
down and discovered the situation.
when he burst out crying and whimp-
cred, 81 don't like these pants | don't
know whether l am going to school or
going back home
The South Carolinian's statement
was received with great laughter.
Not long afterward, in referring to
the desperate effort of tho bankers to
choke off the silver men, Mr.. Talbert
said that charity forbade hat he
should say that Congress was influence
ed by their action. Every man, how
ever, could think, if he did not speak.
To illustrate his idea, he said that
down in South Carolina there was q
man who hired a lawyer once to con-
duct a case in court. AS the lawyer
was not talking exactly to suit him, he
got up to make q few remarks himself.
The Judge, OF course, made him take
Ibis seat. He got up again, and the
judge made him take his seat again.
a third and fourth time this happened,
and finally the old farmer got up and