The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1893-07-07
THE Pile OINTMENT
JEHOSHOFAT'S REMARKS.

Well / sa1tinly was dombfounded
when l Jemima had been rushin' into
print. The idee is redickerlous in any
woman to get outer her spear that a
way but a leetle wusser in Jason nor
any one else as they most commonly
has a proper sense of the inferiorness
of the female sect. Why! next thing
l hear Jemima will be wantin' to
vote, or stand on street corners work
in hard, leanin' up agin a BARRIERS
pole talkin' pollyticks or some other
maskyline atteryboot. Wal we agin
thought of drivin' over to Vernon. l
come poorly near not lettin' Jemima
go. She's gittin' so onfennynine; but
finally did consent but argyed With
her pritty stern goin' out thar. Jest
as Use talkin' the sternest to her we
drov into Vernon, and that ere band
was playin' so beyoutifully l forgot
what | was sayin' and stopped to lis
ten. Jemima, she looked at me sort
of Quere, and seZ. Music hath charms
to soothe the savage beast" Now
what did she mean? But she alters
did make Ambiguous remarks. Now
last winter me an Trim Smithpeter
we was the school timber and we
thought as heow we'd gin Jemima
the skule as she wouldn't need her
money till skule was eout; and we
wanted to use the money to pay our
taxes, and roods was to bad to haul
off grain or hogs to market and Jemi-
ma she could do the work at home
and not need to pay board or hire a
girl either. 1t war hard winter and
Jemima she he'd teu miles ter walk.
Still was mighty astonded when she
wanted her money at end of fust
month of skule. "Why Jemima," sez
[, ''you don't need that money"
"Humph," seq she, short as pie crust,
/" The laborer is worthy of his hire
and I'm goin' to have that money"
"Sho now mind" seq 1, ''if you make
a fuss about that money you'll make
Trim mad and you know he's got the
fullest pocket book of anyone in the
"Humph," sez she agin,
what signifies full pocketbook with
an empty head:" But she alters did
say SIGH ambiggerous sayin's.
Wall we went to Baptist church on
Sunday. Heard good! patteryotic
sermon. l tell yeou that mans a
good loyal subject to "Uncle Sam" as
well as ten Higher Government
He's a poorly smart fluent speaker teu
It's worth going to Vernon to hear
SIGH good sermons as we've heerd
thar. Then we was talkin' of goin' to
"Children's Day" Sunday night, at M.
E. church. Jemima she's feered I'd
git the Cat-R goln' out at night but l
haint never he'd no SIGH complaint or
it's the wust kind of BrownKeetis l
has. Sister Jemima she deu makes
mistakes if she deu be a Skule miss.
Well now the Methody- church did
look nice and the Columbian exer-
cises war most amasin' nice. I tell
yeou now the stars and stripes are
never out of place and to see those
little childrins speakin' so patriyotic
with flags in their hands was most
astonishin' and that poorly Alice from
Mankato who war Columby she jest
did look and act most amazIn pooty
and those guards presentin' all those
grand, good and noble 9atteryboots l
jest can't describe it, and Columby's
proper answers war all astondin' nice
and Columby's sister Aster, she sung
was it?) oh yes it was
sohi and It's noff to charm the birds in
the bushes, but l never war teritist
so can't tell etcetery good.
JEHOSHOFAT JASON.