davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
SOME GOOD TUNNELING.
That Is, the Florida Mans Story Looks
That WAY.

That Is, the Florida Mans Story Looks
That Way.
He took off his high silk hat, and
carefully busted off his bald head with
a silk handkerchief.
."Gentlemen,'o he said, taking flyer
with what the New York Tribune calls
cuspidor, II come from the stae of
Florida"
"Wonderful state" remarked the
man with yellow goatee.
"Wonderful is no name for it," said
the man with the high silk hat emphat-
ically. "There's only one drawback to
the state of Florida"
"What is that?" inquired one of the
company.
''The muskeeters.
II didn't know you competed with
New Jersey"
"Well, we don't exactly do that.
We'd get along all right if them Florida
bugs weren't SO blamed curious. About
a year ago | was up in New York on
business and | made deal on phos-
dollars; and l celebrated by taking
home fine French clock to my wife.
1t was an elegant clock, all gilt, g lass
shade, and ran month without wind
ing. We set that clock up in
the parlor and it KEEP such
time they regerlated the clock in
the Methodist Church by it. One
night about two months after | got
home, and just as / was BLOWN about
the most perfect clock in the state Of
Florida, she gave a terrible buzz and
stopped. Well, I worked over that
clock an hour. I wound her up, joggled
the penjerlum, and shook the works.
No use. She stopped short. When l
went North again | took the clock to
the store where l bought it. This
stopped. / want her swabbed down so
she'll run year this time The next
day l got a postal card to please call at
that store.
"'You say this clock ran for two
MONTHS says the teller when [ came in
"Two MONTHS says l.
"'It'll cost you about $50 to repair it, ,
he says sort of quiet. Wen have to
send to Paris for some Of the parts
"'What's the matter with it?' says /,
beginnin' to get mad. Il bought that
clock here last May, and now it's all
caved in
understand this clock. Our record
SHOWS IL WIS Iudl hCu pCllCCO NhSI AZ
went out, and now the whole main
spring and four of the cogs are com
pIetely riddled with pin holes. OF
course says he, III the clock wasn't
perfect to begin it, We'll make it all
right. There's only one queer thing
about it, he went on in a kinder puz-
zled way. up between the first and
second eggs we found tremendous
muskeeter.'
"'Dead" says I.
"'Dead, says he.
"Gentlemen,' said the man with the
high silk hat, pressively, 1.-The cussed
curiosity of a Florida muskeeter had
ruined that clock. He got caught in the
cogs, threshed around, and bored holes
in the whole business"
81 thought you said there was glass
shade over that clock" ventured the
man with the yellow goatee.
CHATS just the point of the whole
thing. Down near the bottom of that
shade we found a little round hole.
Blamed if that curious critter hadn't
heard the tickin' and bored a hole in
the glass just to find out where the
buzzin' came from"
There was silence when the gentle
man with the tall silk hat had finished.
Finally the man with the yellow goatee
cleared his throat and said: "Who's
DIM down to the Inauguration
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

peculiar phase of London East
HE is the formation by working
OF clubs for purchasing various
attire. For instance, ten or
e or more girls working i'll the
Factory will constitute themselves
4 club for corsets. Enough
y is contributed weekly
'crmt of the acquisition of
lar Of 'corsets, lots being cast to
upon the possessor. These East
lrIS have expensive tastes in the
u stays, giving from 5s to l2s6d
ait, and IN many cases insisting
having. them made to order. A
&c corSctiere has just finished with
OF twenty-four men bers, who
sod pair. Clubs are also consti-
I'F buying hats, drapery goods,
iorth{ \ certain advantage in
cubs lis Mat the members have no
'o'ent 10 outyie one another in
aganrpf
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Placid Ignorance.

An electric car was passing Union
Street. A gentleman was pointing out
the places of interest to companion.
"There," said he; Hawthorne was
born in a house on that street." A nod
of approval. Soon the tourist turned to
his informant and said: who is this
Hawthorne, anyway ?"-Salem Gazette.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
r,;ohtning Rods known to Egyptians

A German Egyptologist, Herr Helm
r;cb Rruesch. has endeavored to prove
that Benjamin Franklin did not invent
,n,,' merely rediscovered the lightning
pu, anctor This German scientist claims
con- he has ample proof that the ancient
Ina, ,..,i -. MS nsed q form of lightning rod
f ngs nprotecting their temples against dis
iJr p of atmospheric electricity
Electrical RerieT.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
KISSING.

lei me not in scientific
r, rages, such tale as this.
That diseases most terrific
Gain diffusion by kiss.
hiiSSsing's real, kissing's earnest
Though the vile bacillus lnrl'
III the KISS that thou returnast
trust me, Damon will NOT sh;rL
Vain the doctors admiration
re- thyllls lightly to me trims
Ii there's death in osculation
Let me take it from her lips
"nen merry maiden fair is.
Medical advice decline:
Let her sweet orbicularis
oris lightly rest on thine
Yet since kissing surely pleases
we, by Esculapian art,
Gan prognosticate diseases
ooit affections of the heart.
Kissing is by Nature taught us
~, Mss the girls then when they como
ihou3h kiss be. vide Plautus.
Acherontis pabulum.
- Yankee Rim,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

In several cantons Of Switzerland the
custom prevails of holding wrestling
matches and other exhibitions of physi-
cal strength at their choral, gymnastic
and rifle festivals. The champions TAX
ing part at these athletic sports belong
to the most diverse ranks in the social
scale
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Grace Before Meat.

eff you marry Grace" exclaimed an
irate father to his son, "I'll cut you off
without penny and you won't have SO
much as piece of pork to boil in the
pot" "Well," said the young man,
terrace before meat" and he immedi-
ately went in search of minister
Chicago Erenino Post.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Corscts for English Lady Paupers

Corsets for English Gladly Paupers."
One of the English newspapers re-
Gently got quite excited over the man
agement, or, as it is asserted, misman-
agement of the Mile End Workhouse.
One Of the leading items of the list OF
chlrges was that the corsets which were
supplied to the LADY paupers" were
bought for 2s6d dozen, or about 5
cents each. Investigation, however,
proved that the lady paupers had not
been subjected to the indignity of wear
ing scent corsets as their only visible
support, for the managers conclusively
proved that they had furnished a lux
urious article costing over 80 cents.
Upon this journalistic wrath was APP
DpaSpG
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
The Modern Beauty

Thrives on good food and sunshine, with
plenty of exercise in the open air. Her
form glows with health and her face blooms
with it's beauty. If her system needs the
cleansing action of a laxative remedy, she
uses the gentle and pleasant liquid laxative
Syrup of Figs.
LOVE is said to be blind, but it gener-
ally gets there ahead of the cid man
lust the same dIUeSton Ne,cs.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Special Bargain.

We will sell you Parlor Suite in fine
Plush or Silk Tapestry for S3S, which is a
little more than half the usual price. Write
for description. G. ARNOLD & Co., Mfrs,
Second Ward Bank Building, Milwaukee,
Wis
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

HE-"I think you love me. Am [
right?" She-"No, sir; you are left"
Fashion ReyieW.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

IT is the inside way to the wayside inn
which makes the inn popular among
outsiders.-Tcrds Commercial.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

BEEcHAM's PILLS act like magic on tht
vital organs, restore lost complexion ant
bring back the keen edge of appetite.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

ALBERT BURCH, West Toledo, Ohio,
says: HALL Catarrh Cure saved my life"
Write him for particulars. Sold by Drug
rists 75c
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

The Duke of Westminster is said to
have expended about 5000, 900 in re-
building Eaton Hall, now one of the
palatial private mansions in England.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

PHYSICIANS are made, not born-no
boy ever yet took naturally to medicine.
Eynirn Gazette
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

ONLY in rare instances is man justi-
fed in borrowing money to pay the tax
on dog.-Phitadelphia Press.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Draws a Snug Salary.

Viscount Gotham, who has just been
appointed to succeed the late Earl of
Derby as trustee of the National Por-
trait Gallery, is the chief Of the infiu-
entail family of Lyttelton. which en-
joys great prestige and popularity
alike at court, in society and in
the sporting world. Lord Gotham
himself is probably the greatest
authority on golf in Great Britain, and
the. champion player at that game,
besides being recognized expert on
questions pertaining to art, and prac-
present moment he holds the position
of a government railroad commissioners
with salary of SIS, 900 year.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

No more old pills for me. Small Bile
Beans, If you please.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
Princess OF Wales Deaf.

The Princess of Wales is becoming 50
deaf that Albert Edward has to shout
until he is black in the face in order to
make himself heard. Her highness'
affiiction has the advantage that it pre-
vents her from hearing burglars in the
house at all hours of the night, and her
husband doesn't have to go down into
the cellar with a poker in order to quiet
her fears. The Princess inherited her
deafness from her mother, the Queen OF
Denmark, who has been stone deaf for
many wears.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
'l(liEl'
FLESH CRACKED OPEN
AND BLED

IIDgrTIE (CLARK, Rirer Falls, Pierce
\, ? Econfin, writes:
sHS NE pleasure to express my faith
nmtue of DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical
reEE, ha1 ling suffered for three years
SsH,'nrtneurh, and after having been I'M
'uly trelitcd by good physician, |
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

ONE Small Bile Bean every night for g
week arouse Torpid Livers. 25c per bot,
tie
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

What Inventors Make.

Thomas A. Edison, the wizard of in
vention, says that he has not made one
dollar out of his inventions by reason o:
any protection that came to him from
the United States laws, and that he will
hereafter work in secret. and only give
up his ideas when the other fellow is
smart enough to steal them from him.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

began the use of
the Discovery.
The humor was in
my hands. l was
obliged to keep a
covering on them
for months at a
time, changing the
covering morning
and mig h t. The
singing. burning
!, and itching scnsa-
ton would be so
int nse that at
times it seemed as
' if | would go crazy.
When l bent the
fingers, the flesh
would crack open
and bleed. 1t is
ribe the intense pain
.ured night and day.
of the " Discovery "
'ce's Golden Medical
d by Dealers.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

A GRAMMATICAL DIrFERENcE,-D'A u-
ber-"I wouldn't sell that picture for
s., OOO" Cobalt-"Why don't you use
better grammar, D'Auber You mean
Il shall not sell that picture for s., 900. !"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

ECONOMICAL, easy to take, Small Bile
Beans.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

THERE isn't mushroom for doubt that
toadstools are deadly.-Iroy Press.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28

THE tip-top fellow is never low down.
-Ptcuyatae.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-28
,inS GIRLS Purchasing Club.

HaR Bud.get.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
TO-DAY'S TELEGRAPHIC NEWS.
The Russians in Paris.

PARIS, Oct. 25.-The most notable
feature of the performance given last
night at the Opera House in honor of
the visiting Russians, was the ballet,
which is pronounced to have been the
finest ever produced in France. The
artists, attirtd in Russian costumes,
were received with frenzied plaudits by
the spectators. One of the performers
sang the Russian anthem, the whole
house cheering and crying Vive la
Rusie, Vive la France and "Yive Ia Al
lance" Admiral Avalen was car
ried away by the enthusiasm and,
springing to his feet, shouted "Vire
Ia Francew To described the scene
that followed would be impossible.
The audience was absolutely delirous
with patriotic enthusiasm. The Rus
SLAMS left Paris this morning for TouIon
by the way of Ly ons, where more
than 100000 visitors have assembled to
take part in the fetes attendant upon
the visit.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
VIRGINIA NEWS.

The Virginia democratic State com
mittee will not furnish tickets for the
coming election.
The Governor declined to interfere
with the sentence of the court in the
case of doc" Taylor who is to be exc
cuted at Wise Courthouse Friday.
After years of experiments the ord
nance bureau of the United States
Army has found that two brands OF
smokeless powder-one invented by
Mr.. Leonard Virginian, are better
than any small-arm powder so far in
vented in this country.
Police Sergeant Griffith and Chief
Terry surrendered to the Hastings
Court at Roanoke, yesterday, to answer
the charge of felony in accordance with
indictments found against them by the
special grand jury that investigated
the late riot and were admitted to bail.
The first wedding of colored people
that ever occurred in the gubernatorial
mansion of Virginia took place in the
dining-room of the mansion yesterday.
Winston Edwards, the governors chief
butler, who has served faithfully in his
position under both Governor Lee and
the present executive, and Jenny
Leigh, an attractive maid, who has
been in the governors service for sever
al years, were married.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
TELEGRAPHIC BREVITlES

The Confederate monument at Clarks-
vile, Tenn, was unveiled to-day with
imposing ceremonies.
1t is said that both Mitchell and Cor
bctt have stopped training till the place
where they are to fight is decided upon.
VIM. Costello, of Memphis, while
huntiugin Mississippi yesterday was ac
cidentally killed by his friend, John
E Igerly.
This morning fire broke out in John
Glnnon's residence in Pittsburg and
two of his children were burned to
death. Mrs. Cannon was seriously
burned while attempting to rescue
them.
Michael Zarro, son of a wealthy Ital-
ian in Newark, n. j., shot himself this
morning. His wife, who had been sick
for two months, died few moments
before, and when the husband found it
ont he shot himself. He was lying in
bed with his wife at the time.
Mrs. James Whitehead and her
daughter while on q claim in the
Cherokee strip yesterday were over
taken by q prairie fire. The mother
placed her daughter on pony but be-
fore she could mount her own horse
the flames reached her and she was
burned to death. The daughter es.
capped.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
Congress-.

In the Senate yesterday there were
but two speeches, or rather, sections of
speeches, made, and they were those o.!
the two Nevada Senators, Messrs. Stew
art and Jones. The latter assured the
Senate, before taking his seat, that
there was no intention on the part Of
The opponents of the repeal bill to pro-
long the discussion further than was
necessary to enable them to state their
views clearly to the Senate and to the
people. This assurance was accepted
by Mr.. Faulkner on whose motion the
Senate, at p. M, took another recess
till this morning.
In the House the bill to establish a
uniform system of bankruptcy in the
United States was discussed until the
hour of adjournment. The chief Incl
dent of the day was silver discussion
which the declaration of Mr.. benson
that silver had been demonetized by the
democratic party, precipitated. Mr.. Pat
terson said that the repeal of the Sher-
man act would not eliminate one dollar
of silver from circulation. Messrs. Bry-
an and Pence were drawn into the col
loquy, and bi-metallism was discussed
for some time.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
What the Effect will be.

If the Senate repeal bill passes, what
will happen? This inquiry prompts a
reference to the facts of the situation
as they stand. The Wilson bill, which
the House passed August 2Sth last, pro-
viding for the repeal Of the silver pur-
chasing clause of the Sherman act, con-
tains this proviso: "But this repeal
shall not impair, or in my manner af-
feet, the legal tender quality of the
standard silver dollars heretofore coin
ed: and the faith and credit of the
United States are hereby pledged to
maintain the parity of the standard gold
and silver coins of the United States at
the present legal ratio or such other
ratio as may be established by law"
The VOORHEES, bill, which was report
ed to the Senate from the Finance
Committee as substitute for the Will
son bill, replaced that proviso with the
following substitute "And tits hereby
declared to be the policy of the
United States to continue the use OF
both gold ard silver as standard money.
and to coin both gold and silver into
money of equal intrinsic and exchange
able value, such equality to be secured
through international agreement or by
such safeguards of legislation as will in
sure the maintenance of the parity in
value of the coins of the two metals.
and the equal power Of every dollar al
all times in the markets and the pay
ment of debts And it is hereby fur
Their declared that the efforts Of the
government should be steadily directed
to the establishment Of such safe sys-
tenn of bi- metalism as will maintain al
all times the equal power of every dol
lar coined or issued by the United
States, in the markets and in the pay
ment of debts.
Should this bill pass and be sent over
to the House, Speaker Crisp says there
will be two motions in order-one to
concur in the Senate amendment or
substitute, the other to refer it to a
committee. The expectation express
ed was that the former motion would
be made and adopted. The declaration
in the Voorhees, bill is so far satisfac-
tory to the repealers in the House that,
in order to get prompt action on the
bill, it is believed they will concur in
it without question.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
OFFICIAL.
BOARD OF ALDERMEN.

At regular meeting of the Board OF
Aldermen held October oath. 1893, there
were present:
VIM. n. Marbury, esq, President, and
Messrs. Burke, Hinken. Carln. Leadbeater,
Sweeney and Lindsey.
The communication from the Board OF
Managers of the Alexandria Inilrmary re-
qucsting Council to contribute the annual ap-
preparation of $500 was referred to the FL
nance Committee.
The petition for the opening of Pitt street
to the Corporation line was referred to the
Committee on Streets.
The report of the Committee on Public
Property appropriating the sum of $500 for
making the Sun engine house portion Of the
station house was adopted by this board.
The resolution for the sale of property on
which taxes are due and unpaid to June 1st
1893, Was adopted by vote of ayes Is; noes,
l. Mr.. Carlin voting in the negative.
A communication from TIE Mayor, enclos-
ing the resignation of Mrs. NJ. G. Cornwell, as
keeper of the Aims House. was received from
the Common Council and their action thereon
concrrrcd in as WAS also the following viz
The report of the Committee on Streets recon-
mcnding that new pump be placed at the
corner of Gibbon and Lee streets; also the
same committees report regarding the pump
ut the corner of Pendleton and Columbus
street also the same committees report upon
the sale of the stone in and around the canal
basin also the same committees report upon
placing back the fences on west Franklin
streets also the report of the Finance Com.
mttee upon the petition of T. II. Netherland
for reduction of taxes on his property No.
211 north Alfred street also the resolution
for fixing the salary of Overseer of the Poor !;
also the communication from Judge Norton
regarding the office of City Treasurer.
The following were laid on the table: An
ordinance to secure the repairs of streets and
alleys also an ordinance granting permission
to the Washington, Alexandria and Mount
Vernon Electric Railway Company 10 fur
nish electric power for the operation of cleo
trio fans, etc, for erecting poles and stringing
wires in the city.
This Board upon invitation proceeded to the
Chamber of the Common Council to partici-
pate in the election of a keeper of the Aims
House and Dispenser of Medicines and upon
its return it adjourned.
Testc: NJ. p VINCENT. Clerk.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1893-10-25
NEWS OF THE DAY.

Re DR.. Benjamin Griffith, a promi-
ment Baptist minister, died at his home
near Chester, Pa, yesterday.
Admiral Walter W. Queen, I. S. N,
retired, died last night of heart failure
at his residence in Washington.
A peusioner who has been drawing
an illegal pension for thirteen years has
sent his certificate to the commissioner
with the request that he be dropped
from the roll.
Senator Hill thinks Congress will adj
iourn next week until the regular ses-
sion in December. On reassembling,
should there be an adjournment, MIR.
Hill will press his cloture resolution.
Joseph Alevich, who was shot in
Baltimore Monday evening by his di.
vorced wife, claims to have married
again, and Just about the time he was
shot his second wife gave birth to a
boy. Alevich's condition is still criti-
cal, and his divorced wife is now in Jail.
A deputation from Lorraine called
upon the Russian naval officers in Paris
Yesterday and assured them that the
people of that province entertained the
same regard for Russia as did the peo-
pie of Paris. The hearts Of the people
of the province were with France, the
deputation declared.
William Ryan and Mary Ryan, his
wife, were found dead yesterday after
noon in the parlor of their home. in
Baltimore. Both had been suffocated
by illuminating gas. In corner, upon
mattress, were the bodies. Mr.. Ryan
was partially undressed and his wife
wore her night clothes. The woman's
left hand was claspcd in the right hand
of her husband. 1t is thought that in
turning the gas down Mr.. or Mrs. Ryan
accidentally turned on the gas at anoth,
er burner.