The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-19
FEMININE TRAITS.

interest.
Women said Jim between puHs,
ssis queer cattle-yes, they be- A feller
thinks be has th'r p'ints an mebbe keeps
on thiniin 50 fer awhile Then he finds
out al Of a s1ddint th't what he thinks
he knows and what he don't know Is
more alike thin what he thinks be knows
and what he does know.
.-One woman amt no more like mother
woman thin ! be Ike that-waal. like that
stove. frinstance- Cause why: 'Cause
th'r p'ryerse. They be, an they can't
help II. none whatever. MoreovermOre,
they don't wanter help it-that's tn pr
versity Of 'em. Wy, We never seen 10
woman that'd b. 7 do ? think ike n
other woman ef she hung fer not dom IL
Th'r' all like-all right 'nough IN them
rsspecks, but nor any more. Ye cen
pick out VI female wharever ye please.
an IEont keer ef she's tn mos common
est. er'rvday sort o. criter We CANT ind
mother one WI thssame marlins. n
LORD Almighty didn't make 'ein that way
no nor n all cattle Is Shorthorns, and I've
sew a lot
i was jes' thinhin Of a couple O cases
len reclect.
Up in Dakoty Anowed a feiler th'5
he'd d reglar thoroughbred wife. His
name was Samniis. an he KEEP store up
70 Bessemer. also sellin wagons an grain
He was a fine feller, this Sammis, an
nothin was teo good fer him. not even
his woman, an they was reg lar stuck
on each other. Mis- Sammis had all they
was goin-SanInis had dust, an he want
'fraid : put it up. They had fine
house, KEEP a Chinese cook an a hired
girl. an had av'ry thing folks en- banker
fer. includin various trips [ Omahaw
and Chicago av'ry year. knowed 'em
a long time n l never seen folks get
along so smooth t'gether-jes' like them
doves that sits on tn fence b tn stable.
They'd been hitched seven 7 eight year.
had a brace Of as likely kids as ye ever
seen, an still folks used I say alters how
much them Sammis did sot by each
other. 1t beat the dooce sure, an
might've went on fer all time. ef Sam
nis hadn't gone an got inter trouble.
Come one year bizness was slack at
the store-cash bizness, I mean-an
Sammis, he let out heap Of stock on
time, fer grub stakes an tn like. But
he'd likewise ben playin poker some, as
uzhal, and was shy fer stuff wen one
day some o th' people hewas OWN called
fer him [ settle up. He'd ben borryin
dust firm the election he'd made fer
some of 'em, 'xpectin { pay up right
soon, but be didn't c'nect proper. an
they sinched i'm Ev'rybody at Bes-
semer took a hand-'xcept few O them
th't cd We helped him most. an ought
er've did it-an tried 10 help sam out.
Int feelin innercent sam. he wouldn't
have II none whatever an tOl them east
ern cusses th't, seem they didn't wanter
wait till fan an git far squar up. they
cd 20 { the devil, an he'd 90 L Jail. So
they sens i'm up two years beltin rock IN
tn pen. Wed We got a gang t'gether
an took i'm way from the offusers. but
sam sent Us word he didn't want nothin
o tn sort-he was goin L take his sassy
fras Ike a man, an he's done il.
Snow don't think for minnie th't eli
this time Mis- Sammis want dom moth
in. Great Enoch. that woman hustled
like a major-wint I the men as was
sinchin sam an begged an pleaded an
might We got 'em 1 give IN ef Sam
hadn't been so uppish with EN-. She
looked jes' Orful durin III trial, an took
GA tur'ble wen tn iedge sent need Sam.
She didn't look ike she uster fer a long
time. jes' got paler an more peakedlize.
an folks thought she was goin L die of
sure. Bout three months later she went
L see sam. an sam. he tol me 'bout it
couple years ago. They had real scene.
jaInful o tears an real spOony love, an
sam wanted L know ef 1t wouldn't BE-
better FER her [ get a divorce. cause ne
was a disgrace / her, Then O. course
she falls on Is neck an weeps q hull lot.
an sez as how she'll stick t him til III
ol Harry goes into III ice cream bizness.
r sonethin Ike that.
An. gents. It want three months
longer bfore she gifts her doggone de-
vorce an spices with a baldheaded q
duffer I'm Pennsylvany th'i'd come 10
Dazoty L git unhitched hissclf, Oh. 1t
was tough. / tel'ye. Sammis. he's out
now. doin good bizness. an got his kids
a Bessemer. TOO, b'gosh-an also bel,uyil
hissel. But he was considerable broke
10 wen In woman shuck i'm"
Here Jim paused TO refill his pipe, and
We took advantage Of the opportunity
briefly 70 debate tho qaesuonas 10 wheth-
e. or not Ms. Samrnis was justified y
doing as she dad. Jim then proceeded:
Tn other case I was thinkin Of Is dif-
frunt hull lot tn woman in It was
bout III same caliber as t'othcr one, I
reckon, but more perseverin.
1t was Up IN DakOJy, TOO, this here
case: ever Z Gilman, bout 20 miles fr'ra
BeSsemer. Twas sheriff then IN laowed
ev'rybody n IL blame coanty. B'sides
til gy-lrl was g sorscr relztion o mine.
how ! came L know s'nuch about i.
This here gyurl was 2 dandy high
stopper Her o. man was well fixed an
she'd went L school [ s.. Louis an was
party persnickeiy. Blame fine gyurl,
stuanin purity an nice. but persniekety.
cause sosno q III finest and best fixed
boys n tn county wanted 'er. an she
turned I'D her nose at th' hGll bilin.
Treated 'em all nice an all that. bus
treated 'oa alike, w'ich WIS unpleasant
fer th' boys.
Tho trouble was, reckon, she'd ben
roadin hull lot o blame trash. an
xpectad some prince was comin long /
offer hisself, witch did happen. only be
want no prince. kept. mebbe. 'cordin
/ her notion. 1t was blame dood firm
somewhere east th't struck town an got
a Job t tn Cleveland smeiter kespin
time-a. feller named T calm hisself
Ward Fortescue.
He hadn't hardly struck tn camp
b'fore him an Name meets each other an
is mashed. most immejit. He was one
o these slim, purity ducks tbt en- sing
lO6s an put up a real smooth talk. an
make book loye-one o. these sweet
warts th't feller aches t spank an kick.
Ispose its women's natur' / git stuck
on 'em, cause they allus do.
ANYHOW, Fortescue, as ne called his
self, wades right IN an rushes Name fer
all be was worth, an Name she liked il
all right, 50 'twa'n't long fore she M sn
tells her folks tli't him and her Is goia
1 git sPliced- The o. lady was tickled