Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-01-02
JUST FOR FUN.

/ ~
inches.
Well, said Mr.. Cynicus, when thu
baby had swallowed his collar button
1 know where the pesky thing is now
anyhow.
'1This is har-rud world,' said one
labOrer to another. eyes. Oh do be
thinkin' av that livery time Oh put ms
pick-axe Until it,"
"Papa, what is a veterinary sur
geon?' zone of those fellows at the
pension office, my son, who examines
the veterans for pensions"
1t is very poor economy to endeavor to re-
1ieve a cold by neglecting it, when bottle Oh
DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup will cure it at once
Oh, papa! I know what makes peo-
pie laugh in their sleeves! Well, my
son, what makes them? cause that's
where their funny bone is!
All! If I were only that ring on
your finger, sighed young Mr.. smig-
gins Yes, remarked the fair girl,
if you were you'd be worth $500.
Miss Bacon Oh, it is such fun to
hang up ones stocking! What do you
expect to get in yours? Miss Lake
side-Well, a piano, for one thing.
Extract from a sentimental letter:
"Last night sat in a gondola on Ven
ices Grand Canal, drinking it all in,
and life never seemed to full beforeH'
am of a very sympathetic dispo-
sition, said N. Peck. Whenever I
come home and find my wife with
nervous headache, [ am sure to catch
it,
The most aggravated cases of rheumatism
have been speedily and permanently cured by
Oil. Every one should have it. 25
cents.
Professor = You seem to be very
dull. When Alexander the Great was
your age he had already conquered
the world. Student = Well, he had
Aristotle for teacher.
Skidmore-Can you think Of an il
Iustration of the scientific truth that
motion produces heat? Shopper
When my wife's tongue moves get
uncomfortably warm.
Ma, said a newspaper mans son, [
know why editors call themselves we.
Why? Sos the man that doesn't like
the article will think there are too
many people for him to tackle.
II am always moved by the sound
Of music" said young Phathead, Jas
5he clock struck eleven. "Let me
play something for you,' said Miss
Jplete, with sudden eagerness.
Riding Master Have you learned
20 trot yet, Miss Manley? Miss Man
ey-Oh, yes, I could trot all right if /
t wasn't for the horse. The plaguy !
hing keeps jogging up and down SO. |
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Poor old Lushforth fell down and
roke the trestIe of his nose. Don't
GU mean the bridge? You might call
the bridge, but as no water passes
nder it, 1 thought the other word
etter.
Mrs. Slimson-My Clara is an aw-
lily delicate girl, she can't stand any
hing. Mrs. Van Blumer - Neither
an my Maud. She put on sailor
at the other day and it made her
easick.
Old Friend = And SO both Of your
are studying professions?
ostess- Yes, my daughter is in
college, studying mechan-
al engineering, and my son is in
arts, learning dressmaking.
An English health officer recently
,ceived the following note from one
the residents of his district: Dear
r, 1 beg to tell you that my child, !
,ed eight months, is suffering from
easles as required by Act of Parlia- {
emit.
]
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