The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1893-12-21

you see, but-but it will be shortly, when
the Bowery is heard from"
Then Mr.. Jones served the Christmas
turkey in his most polite manner.
White or dark he would ask one OF
the company. "Ah. yes, to be sure. You
always preferred the dark meat. How
deuced stupid of me not to remembers
Cornelius. he said as he deity removed
and divided one of the turkeys legs,
there's dIumstick for you in remem-
brance of your infancy, don't you see,
but, Corny, for heavens sake, for my
sake, don't pound ont Annie Rooney
on the doilies with it,
"B- bah Jove, Deuced shame." cried
Mr.. Girard.
Not until every person at the table
had been helped did Mr.. Jones turn his
attention 10 his own plate. When he
and the Bowcry boys did get fairly to
work, however, turkey, cranberry sauce,
turkey dressing, wines and the numer-
Gus other deicacies that composed the
Van Tassels Christmas dinner vanished
from view like Kansas town in the
track of IL cyclone.
When the three strange guests had de-
voured the turkey on their own plates,
they turaed to i'll the most polite manner
and assisted the Van Tassels, the Girards
and the Cowles. The dinner passed off
very well, considering the circum-
stances, as Mr.. Jones afterward re-
marked.
Those Gramercy park people, don't
yon know, were rather stupid. They
didn't talk much. They ate even less.
The Bowery people, too, were no h,
ter rs conversationists, but there was
nothing the matter, don't you know,
about their appetites. | never before
saw ruch n demonstration Of the shovel
ing capacities of the ordinary table
knife But / amused them all. don't
you understand. | WAS not only after
dinner but middinner and before dinner
speaker, and told few good stories that
| see Depew has since got hold Of.
BY the time the different courses had
been served aad the coffee came on in
the Dresden china after dinner cups, the
pockets of Mr. Jones aud his companion
We're fairly bulging with spoons, kniv's
and forks, and 1t was evident that the
heavy movement in silver was soon I,
commence. The only interruption to the
dinner occurred when. just as Mr. Jon :
was drinking Mr.. Van Tassel's coffee
a voice with an unnistakable Bowery
accent shouted from the buffers pantry
EFF youse fellers don't send me out A
ham sandwish er sohethiD pretty dern
quick. I'll give de hull gang dead away.
See"
Mr. Jones paid no attention to the re
mark, however, but drank the remain
ing cups of coffee within reach, excused
himself and rose from the table. Par
don us he said humbly rs he and his
assistants relieved the gentlemen of THEN
watches and pocketbooks and the ladies
Of their diamonds and other jewclry,
but at Christmas time it is always bet
ter to give than to receive, don't you
know"
With profuse apologies, too, Mr.. Jone,
securely gagged the Van Tassels, theiI
guests and the maid, and saw that they
were all firmly bound. Then Mr.. Jones
companions engineered the heavy move
meut in sllverware to Il carriage at the
door. leaving Jones to bid the hospitable
Van Tassels bon soir.
Raising the turkeys wishbone so that
all could see, he pulled it apart with his
own hands, wished them many happy
returns of the day and vanished.
II
Thus it was that Jack Schuyler (alias