The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-05-21

I'D small fortunes every year In cigars
and tobacco. How long have you been
| smoking?'
"About eleven years." replied the young
| man, putting like furnace
"And how many cigars day do you
| smoker" continued the preacher.
From eight TO ten.'
"That smells like n good brand; what
do you pay for your cigars?"
"Fifteen cents apiece" returned the
smoker. with nonchalant air.
"Why. just think Of it." resumed the
preacher. 'By investing the money you've
spent on tobacco for the past eleven years,
you'd now have that block of buildings
across the street"
The yosng man arched his brows. do
you smoker" he asked.
mo" said the preacher. 81 haven't used
tobacco in any shape or form for over
Wenty years"
"Aha-yes. See" came the answer;
land where IS your block OF buildings?"
The preacher went on his way without
replying. The young man smiled, and
continued to pun his Havana.
Isn't IT a shame that city as large
as Richmond doesn't furnish anything in
teresting in the way Of baseball? Why.
of semi-stagnation since the season be-
gan. When the 'Varsites and the men
from New Haven drew a large crowd TO
Island Park some time ago, everybody
was more or less disappointed. The
orange and blue achieved little or no
glory Indeed, they played a tame game,
losing no little Of the reputation they had
acquired The Yale men, too, fell far
below everybodys expectations, and that
red-haired pitcher, formerly Of Princeton,
proved an easy SNAP" for the Varsity
boys, who batted the sphere with a ven
geance. The Bean-Eaters had a walk
over with the Virginians recently. A one
sided game never arouses any interest,
and the "cranks" were again deeply dis
appointed Several other games have
brought out creditable crowds only to tire
everybody, and tempt them TO swear off
from attending the park henceforward
and forever. Some thousand or two de-
voices OF the diamond are simply signing
for n respectable contest, and so far there
hasn't been one Such a record doesn't
speak a volume for the baseball talent Of
a city that gave the world such celebrities
as the late Charlie Ferguson, who in the
box, became the idol of the Quaker City
"cranks." and Billy Nash with his present
national reputation as a guardian Of the
canvas on third. Are there not some
enterprising sports I'm the city 10 stir up
the devotees of the ash and sphere? 10
seems a pity TO allow an abundance Of
ripe talent to 80 10 waste for want Of
practice. Wake up, boys. and let's have
at least one real live game before the
season is over.
sss f--~f~r~
In the social whir these days there
seems to be craze for getting up odd
entertainments. You hear of pink teas,
when Oliver Wendell Holmes sums up
with, "gggle, gable, gobble and git;'
carnation luncheons, butterfly dinings,
and now I'm told of a thoroughly unique
affair recently given on west Grace street
to number Of married gentlemen by a
friend Of theirs. 1t is hardly necessary 10
state that the wives Of the gentlemen
were not I'm attendance. It was an onion
supper Did you ever take in" one2 II
so, it was unnecessary TO inform your
neighbors. Four or five guests who are
devoted 10 the vegetable, but through the
earnest solicitation of their respective
spouses abstain from partaking, helped
themelves lavishly TO the appetizing dish,
the ingredients Of which were either par
TALLY or totally bona fide onions. It is
said there were
Onions fried, onions stewed
Onions boiled and onions brewed;
Onions new, onions old.
Onions hot and onions cold;
Onions short. onions long,
Onions weak and onions Strong"
In fact, every conceivable culinary pre-
paration in the shape Of onions A lady
is said to have walked along the street
a few minutes before supper was served,
and quoted absent-mindedly:
Then methought the air grew denser,
Perfumed from an unseen censer"-
little approaching the aptness Of the
quotation. 1t was nearly II o'clock when
the guests departed. Whether each Of the
husbands received his usual osculatory
greeting from his wife has not been ascer-
tanned. The indications point TO the mega
tive side Of the question.
YOUR UNCLE FULLER.