Passaic City record., 1893-01-21
PITH AND POINT.

TllH AMI IUlP l..
| Shooting irons--Meteors.
A far-seeing man--The astronomer.
A drawer of water--The marine artist.
Truth.
| When bicyclist goes at top speed he
calls it spin. -Quips.
When man becomes ga big gun" we
always expect good reports of him.
It Is queer that man becomes most
nervous when he has lost his nerve.
Musical bars are no barriers to the
man who ssbreaks out in song. "-Bos-
ton Courier.
It is impossible for anybody to have
too many of the necessaries of Iife.-
Galveston News.
When man is sick he takes melan-
choly enjoyment in looking at his tongue.
--Atchison Globe.
When q man has boil he is in posi-
lion to keep his family in hot water. -
Binghamton Leader.
Why need the wild sea waves lash the
Ihorea There's no danger of the shore
getting away. Truth.
You may jocularly tell man he's .
Tyre, but it isn't wise to harp on it too
much. Boston Courier.
The man who erects large building
OH very small lot does so because he is
short-sited. - Rochester Democrat.
A pessimist likes thing he can't en-
10Y, and an optimist enjoys thing he
can't like.-Tenneseee Twinklings. !.
"Theres time to work and q time
to play" but to the hand organ grinder
both times come at once. Rochester
Democrat.
"Your speech is rather sharp, Think,
complained Mrs. Hawkins. II have to
make it 80 to get it in edgewise, re-
torted Hawkins.
First Disputant-ssThen I'm liara"
Second Ditto-"On the contrary, my
dear fellow, you have just spoken the
truth. It'd Bits.
ssDo you believe in corporal punish
ment for stupid school childrenl" Eyes,
spanking always makes 'em smart. -
Philadelphia Record.
The Parvenu-ssAre you fond Of
belles-lettres?" The Chump-ssBe
Letters9 Don't know. Never met her,"
Chicago News Record.
Sneeze, sneeze sneeze
There is no way to help it, you see,
For tAgrip" has landed once more
In the home of the brave and the free.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Making Sure: She-"Then you'll
take me for drive on Thursdaya" He
"Yes; but suppose it rainsa" She
"Come the day before, then. brooklyn
Life.
Col. Umbus-s'If you knew America
was beastly before you left England
whatever induced you to come overt"
]. Taurus-"Oh, simply to verify my
suspicious"
Miggs-"Why do you suppose it is
considered bad luck to open an umbrella
in the houseq" Milton-ssI suppose
there is danger of disclosing the owners
name. Inter Ocean.
The times when policy of dignified
silence would unques tionably do man
the best service are the very times when
digniied silence is particularly hard to
keep. p.-Somerville Journal.
Farmers Wife-"Why don't you go
to worka" Tramp-.I would if I had
the TOOLS" Farmers Wife-"What sort
Of tools do you wanta" Tramp -"Knitc
and fork. Texas Siftings.
Hownow-.sDo you find the book in
terestings" Mrs. Tangletongue-.sOh,
very" Hownow-ssWho is the author2"
Mrs. Tangletongue-"Oh, his name isn't
given; it is published unanimously. p
Boston Courier.
Tommy Cabbage Cat the Sunday din
ner table)-"Mrs. Tillinghast was knit
ting at church this morning" Mrs.
Cabbage (shocked) )-'What on earth
was she knitting in churcha" Tommy
"Her brows. Judge.
Lawyer-sso you have had this
stolen ring from babyhood. Pray,
what is your age2' The Court--sThe
question is impertinent. The lady need
not answer" Lawyer--..Well, how
long have you owned the ringa"-Jewel-
ers' Weekly.
Maud-sI don't see you at DR.. Flips-
ley's church any more" Madge-sN
the colors the sun throws through those
new stained-glass windows were too try
ing to my complexion, SO ! was obliged
to sever my connection with the church" T"
Brooklyn Eagle.
She (sittirg down)-ssI see you are
not regular traveller on these suburban
trains" He (standing up)-ssThat \
true. How do you know2" .sYou gave
| me your seat" Sand you, madam,
| pardon me, are not regular traveller on
suburban trains either" ssAh, how did