The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1893-08-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

| lnS tenant VINO SetS tue most moves.
-Bufu!o Courier.
When mercantile concern "takes
in sail" it is in the interest of the bal
ance-sheet.-LolccH Courier.
A peculisrity about it is that when
money is tight it's business that's apt
TO stagger. Philadelphia Times.
"Does Mr.. Lynch suffer from chronic
thirst?" 20, dear, no. He doesn't
wait long enough. ."-Pick-Me- Up.
Patient-Do you give gas? Dentist
No: you have to pay for it. This
isn't barber-shop.-Brooklyn Life.
There is no half way about a physi-
clans practice. 1t is either live sue
cess or dead failure. .-Butalo Courier.
Peastraw-How is your niece look
ing these days? Barnes-Just the
same as usual-for an.--Haper'S
Bazar.
"She appeared to me like one woman
in a thousand" How so?" Il saw
her at the bargain counter. ."-Detroit
Tribune.
aren't you afraid to trust the baby
with that nurse grip" 20, no. There's
the policeman, you know. ."--DetrOit
| Tribune.
Mr.. Verisick-I shall never be my
self again. Mr.. Verisour-What poor
unfortunate do you expect to be?-N.
| 4. Herald
The yeast cake may be n conspicu-
Gus example of early rising, bat it is
invariably followed by big loaf
LO1CeU C0uricr.
When man is thrown bodily out of
a saloon he seldom returns to look for
the power behind the thrown.-Paila-
delphia Record.
| These are the days when the cry is
"Dress REFORM" and it must be admit
ted that much reform needs dressing.
-L0aUeU Courier.
Dora-The papers say you are 10
marry Lord TOpnott. Clara-It's Il
base SANDER. I'm only engaged to
him.-N. Y. Weekly.
Although never down on any list of
officeseekers it is by no means unusual
| for roof to find itself slated for a GOOD
thing,-BuGalo Courier.
well, my boy, how do you find
yourself?" Il don't" responded the
detective, with an air of offended dig
nity.-L1dianapoiiS Journal.
She-This horrid article implies that
| you married me for money. He
| Well, don't contradict it; | don't care
to be taken for fool.-LJe.
"Well!' exclaimed the liquor dealer
who had just won a suit in court, "the
law and the profits both appear to be
on my side. Washington Sta.
She-Have you ever seen my friend
| Miss Dashaway? He-Only at dis
tance. She-Thon you have seen her
at her best.-Detr0H Free Press.
1T was a woman who took the prize
in the missing word contest" Il am
not surprised at it. A woman is never
at loss for words. IN. Y. Press.
Hicks-You say that Bings is to be
tried for heresy? Wicks-Yes; he re-
fuses to believe that "schism" is pro-
nnnnceh "Sism. "-BOst01 Iranscriat
She Gan heiress) What made You
love mep | know my face is plain. He
with enthusiasm )-Perhaps, dearest;
but your figure is most attractive
Brooklyn Life.
Exacting Father-James, how are
you getting along with that job of
| wood-splitting? Rebellious Son-Im
making about three knots an hour
| Detroit Free Press
Il have rented handsome cottage
at the beach for the summer" Il
thought you would do something of
the kind when l heard that you had
failed. IN. T. Press.
$50 my daughter has referred you to
me, eh? Well, | hardly understand it.
She never consults me except in
| financial way" "Well-ah--sir, that's
Just it, IeraS SittingS.
After an inexp erienced man mas
rowed a boat for about three-quarters
of an hour almost any kind of scenery
is good enough for him to stop and ad-
mire. S0merCtlie Journal.
"Cholly is very independent. He
says he will never be owned by any
body" Probably that is why he feels
at liberty to give himself away SO
often. y Washington star.
Wibble-Td like to know what rea-
son you have for calling beer an aris-
ttocratic drink? Wabble-Wen, it
comes within the pail, is the chief rea-
son.--IHdia7lap0Lts Journal
| He-Is your sister very high church?
She-High as they make them. She
discharged our old family physician
last week for saying that she had
low fever Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Lushforth-You wouldn't mind
putting down another dimes worth
against me, would you? Barkeeper-
| No, | guess not. 1t does not add much h
to your credit.-IHdiandp0LiS Journal.
Dropin-What was the row betwee
you and that man? He's some big
gun, isn't he? Physician-I guess he
is. ] happened to charge him little
too heavily and he kicked.-Butalo
Courier.
"What was it that caused you to
break your engagement TO Iom?" 90,
one night he began speaking seriously
of getting married, and | thought that
was going little bit too far. "-Br00k-
ty'g Lye.
Hustle (of the BIasc1) You must
read NY paper. 1t is the only paper
of lis Kind in the world. Simplcgood
is that SO! keatiE. htu don KNOW
how glad | am 10 lear i,.-BoSt0n
Transcript.
Mrs. Binks-Ihat woman we just
passed is The incest neigA1sr ever
had Neigh5or? hy. she
didn't so much as glance NJ You. Mrs.
Binks-That's what Ike about her
N I. Heettg.
~Hovy did Won Ii{-n fha.i,sf s.,ny
last song?7 Size repeated. .. yes,
| always like your last son. best."-
Washington STIR.
Harry Marridwell-Lel's 80 10 the
opera, Ethel. These long evenings
are awfully dull. Ethei-O, Harry!
Before we were married YOU never