The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-03-08
The TACTLESS MAN,
TIC SAYS THE RIGHT THING At
The WRONG TINE.
OF rover in "A Man Can Com
pehsate for UngsIIant Conduct Toward
women Says Ella Wheeler U-flcox
some Instances That Point a Moral.
copyright, l8fri. by American Press A..oci,-
ton. AL rights rescryedJ


man he meets and has ready |
niio' shopworn compliments in store |
- oy TAR more excusable than the man
VINO cannot pay a merited compliment.
ana VINO says unfiattering and blunt
things with an idea that he is being
frank and honest.
IL Is mans duty to be gallant to wo-
man so long as she is womanly Be she
obi or young. married or single, she APP
Preciates refined gallantry from boy
or man and misses the absence Of it.
NO amount of strength or power on the
part oil IL man cOmpensates for utter lack
81 taste III his department toward her.
was passing out OF my door one day
with Il young lady guest when we en-
countered on the steps young gentle
man who was about to ring the bell
Oh, are you still here?" he said, with
evident pleasure in his voice Il sup
posed you had gone"
What could have been more tactless
and laundering? Why did he not say:
Il feared you might have gone! How
fortunate am to find you still here!"
He was really pleased to see her. His
face and voice showed that But his
unfortunate phrase told her bluntly that
his call was not intended for her.
Another young lady guest of mine was
requested to lead Il german with gen
tleman at whose home pretty girl was
visiting. The day after the german took
place the gentleman was calling, and
said. II was surprised to find that Miss
A. your mothers guest, does not
dance"
Yes" he replied, lit was great dis
appointment to me"
OF course my friend, who had danced
with him and had felt complimentcd at
mis- choice of her as a partner, at opce
realized that she had served as a sub
stitute because the lady he preferred
could not dance. How easily he could
have concealed his disappointment.
The man who compliments one lady
ut the cost of another is an unfortunate
sort of being.
WAS once in Il small company of peo-
pie where the hostess found it necessary
to request n moments assistance of one
Of her men guests. The young man had
been sitting on divan for considerable
time chatting with Il bright, talkative
woman Mr.. A.. may ask you to ex-
cuse yourself for Il moment" said the
hostess. land come over hereT
With great pleasure" cried the
thoughtles5 well meaning fellow. as ne
sprang to his hostess side.
If had known it would lie such a
pleasure to you would have excused
you long ago" said the woman with
whom he had been chatting
Il really think she was provoked at
my leaving her so abruptly" said the
stupid fellow when referring to the
matter, but how could | do otherwise
when my hostess called me-"
a man like that should live apart from
women and confine his society to his
own sex.
Some one CHANGED to mention the hour
in the hearing OF IL gifted and educated
man one day. who had been conversing
for some time with his hostess.
What. so early still!' he exclaimed
L had an idea it was much later"
Il am sorry you find the time SO long
in my house." said the hostess coldly az
she moved away and left her guest TO
nis merited discomfort. Talent and
learning are i'll bestowed upon man
with no more refinement or taste than
mis- remark betrayed.
Even the fellow who tells you that lie
is surprised you take sugar IN your cot,
fee and says sweets to the sweet when
offering you bonbons is to be tolerated
In preference One can only bore you at
most while the others atfront and wound.
There is fine lire between gallantry
and fiattery Men do not understand
the difference between the two. NC
man need be brute TO avoid being q
fuIsome hatterer. and no man need fiat
ter TO avoid being rude,
know a man who tells every woman
ne sees in evening dress that she has
the lost arms of the Venus de Milo
heard him say it to a pudgy woman
who weighed eco and within an hour
repeat it to human skeleton. Bott
women were offended and thought the
man was making sport of their misior
tune, when in fact he was trying to bt
agreeable.
The pudgy woman possessed tine teetf
and the skeleton fine eyes! n man witt
more brain who desired to pay com
pliuent would have observed thesi
points. bat this fellow had made it {
habit to compliment arms. and he wa:
10 respecter of persons
The man who is not born with tao
,ind who HIS never studied women need:
training by some wise dame before HI
attempts compliments.
That hat becomes you much more
than your hats usually do | heard ;
man remark to 4 lady one day, and TIT
lady was highly indignant. as she wei
might be He had no business to speal
of her costume at all if he could not turi
more pleasing phrase than that. witt
Il less unfortunate Interpretation.
Let our young American men stud,
the art of paying delicate and tasteful
compliments TO women, and let then
strive to avoid stupid and brusQue re
marks which wound and offend withou
serving any useful purpose.
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX.