The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1893-02-26
MARRIAGE In FAIR FRANCE
Matrimonial Customs Which Dispense
with the Preliminaries of Courtship.
A Girl without Dowry Stands but Little
Chance Of Securing Husband-A System
Which Is Not Satisfactory in Its Results.

Special Correspondence OF the Sunday Journal
PARIS, Feb. a-The marriage customs of
France are decidedly peculiar. To de-
scribe them inteIliGently we must refer
first of all to those delightful preliminaries
of wedlock which are summed mp In Amer
lea under the general name of c0urtship.
At once, however. a difficulty arises. for
the things embraced In that name to Amer
lean thoughts are conspicuous by
their absence. In our country we
always think of courtship as some
thing which has for its basis
an intimate companionship between the
two parties, and which finds Its expression
in quiet moonlight walks anc. in the occa-
slonal monopoly of the pa4lor together.
Somewhere. too, are American lovers
brought face to face during their courtship
with great crisis AS rule they dread
this In anticipation but 1t usually turns
out to bs any thing but o dreadful ordeal in
practice. What we refer to is the custom
commonly spoken of as popping the ques-
tion." 1t will be noted. too, that
American candidates for matrimonial
felicity are referred TO. in what we have
said of them. as lovers; which. as gen.
eral thing. is emDhatically what they are.
Quires them TO be. These are our time
honored American notions, and they are SO
much enjoyed, as rule. and seem TO be 80
necessary to q proper adjustment of thin gs
matrimonial, that We can hardly conceive
how it would be possible to get along with
out them.
But the French manage to do so. 1t will
seem like q singular statement. but 1t Is
only the truth TO say. that IN the upper and
middle classes of this country, courtshlp.
as We understand It, Is almost entirely un
known. The preliminaries of wedlock are
all arranged by third parties. One ls
spared here the happy wretchedness of fall
ing In love as well as the miserable de-
light of making personal proposal. 1t
would seem. indeed. as though love cut
scarcely any figure in the arrangements,
and as TO moonligh. rambIes with only the
moon for witness, young couples In
France-from fear either of the man in the
moon or man In the abstract-are for hidden
such things. Custom. In fact, Is so very
strict that 1T does not allow them to be
alone together for even quiet tete-a-tete
in the drawing-room. Nor Is this all; but
1t is only under q strict system of parental
oversight that the couple are permitted to
correspond with each other.
OBSTACLES TO MATRIMoNY.
One wonders how. under q system like
this. the matrimonial RANKS are ever re-
cruited. and this query opens the way for
some further astonishing statements. The
Us. In America the presumption would be.
with reference to the average young man
of fair prospects in life. that after w bile
he will take unto himfelf better-half,
whereas in France one would be warranted
In promising, unless the young man had eX-
pressed o distinct purpose TO the con-
trary, that he would remain single. AS TO
girls, 1t would really seem as though their
chance of getting married depended en-
tirely upon how much money they have.
To speak here of the matrimonial market"
is not misnomer. There are exceptions
SO all rules, but these exceptions do not in
validate the rule. and the rule In
France is that girl who Is we'll brought
MP. but whose parents or friends
ore unable TO give her a dowry. will not be
troubled with an offer of marriage. She
could easily enough pick up a husband
from the sclasses she holds TO be beneath
her. but the caste feeling is rigid in
France rs are the marriage customs. and
hence our we'll raised, we'll educated French
girl. lacking a res pectable dot as 1t is called,
will presumably live on TO the end of her
DAYS in single blessedness.
From this rule of eXactlng a dOwry with
his wife one can hardly except even the
homDlest workman. The bride must al
ways bring something TO the union. 1T she
Is so poor as not to have few hundred
francs laid mp for her wedding day. then
her dot will technically consist of her
wardrobe, and possibly a few articles of
furniture. with, perchance. q skilfull pair
of hands, and an understanding on both
sides that she Is 70 help out on household
expenses by daily labor In some shop. And
here. by the way, Is a suggestion of the
argument which the French offer in justifi-
cation of this custom. What they say Is,
that amongst the poorer glasses, the wages
of she man are so low that, but for the help
from the other side of the house. it would be
impossible for the married couple TO subsist,
and in regard to those who are higher mp In
the social scale, the difficulty, they say.
Is the same. Young men In an
ordinary way of business get scarcely
enough to support themselves. and to IN
dertake the support OF another, without q
proper provision for an increase of funds.
would be an act of imprudent rashness:
especially French women are fond OF
luxury and have such eXJravagent tastes
IN dress THIS is the putting of the case
from the French point of view. End it is
Burely plausible If not entirely satisfactory.
PARTNERS IN BUSINESS.
To this custom must be credited large
measure of the proverbial French thrift
The advent of girl baby into the family
marks new era IN household management.
This atom of humanity. if she is finally to
marry. must have dot, and even thus
early do the thoughtful parents begin to
sconomize and lay by in order to provide
this requisite. Another effect lt has on
French life is 10 make wives, TO very
large extent. partners with their hus-
bands in business. The wife general Iy
invests her marriage portion in this way,
and having a decided penchant-as nearly
all French women have-for careful
financiering. she generally also retains con-
troll over her lnvestmeDr by means of n
legal partnership. In other ways the
effects are less gratifying. The girl who
has an ample dowry st her command being
pre- pared TO give much, will naturally ex-
pect much in return. She will always
demand the equivalent of what her
OVID fortune amounts TO. and her parents,
who really have the control of this matter,
will often stand out for much more Hence
she is more likely than not TO lind herself
tied for life TO man nearly twice her own
age-a sort OF marriage which is hardly
ever conducive TO either happiness or good
morals, and which In France if all reports
are true. is decidedly conducive in very
many cases, TO the opposite of these condi-
tions.
The effect upon young men and women is
more lamen Ca BILE still. Single blessedness
If seif-im posed for conscientious reasons, is
o state of life which presents few dangers
and which may open TO some persons ex-
traordipary opportunities of usefulness
When, however. vast masses of young
people with no inclinations toward such a
life find themselves Opdemned to it by
arbitrary laws or rigid social customs
the results must be bad and only bad
both for the individuals themselves and
for society at large; and that results of this
nd OF Eranaa n taO