The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-09-14

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the springhouse.
"My wife's grandfather is Baptist
and an Abolitionist, while Peradventure
is Mohammedan and kicks because we
have to pay the Revolutionary pension
ers, though he hasn't paid cent of tax
in 5years. They have had good many
discussions over politics and religion,
but never had any real serious fights.
Mortimer could always prove all his
statements by the Bible and so could
Peradventure.
Sometimes they would go little too
far, and Mortimer would pout all the
evening, and Peradventure would founce
OFF to bed and slam his boots one at a
time on the floor when he undressed and
tried to scare us. But in the morning
both would wake up all pleasant, and
Mortimer would tackle little black
pipe he has, while Peradventure would
go into the buttery and take large COM
prehensive swallow out of bottle that
has lonesome old cherry at the bottom
of it. AT first he took this only in the
spring, but now he has gradually added
more and more spring months till the
robins seem to be nesting most all the
time with him.
II take them to the circus with me
every year and sometimes twice, and
they remember and talk about it for
years afterward. Mortimer is q great
admirer of the elephant, and I have all
can do to drag him away from the large
beast with the country seat to his pants.
But Peradventure loves rare animals,
such as the jackass bird of Australia
and the sacred new milk COW of Farther
India. He claims that he has seen most
everything now that Noah had and some
that he couldn't get, like the Polled
Angus or moody COW, and other things
that Noah advertised for far and wide,
but couldn't obtain in those days.
zone day they got into sort of quar-
rel over the female acrobat that hangs
from the top of the tent by bunion
and holds, suspended in air, by her teeth
and wide suspender an uncle and two
other relatives on her fathers side.
Mortimer claimed to have selected her
first, but Peradventure said: You bet
ter take some one of your own age.
Take the child wonder in the sideshow;
she's about as tottering as you be-
"And so they quarreled that way, till
finally thought would have to take
them out, but pretty soon the lion cage
was wheeled into the ring, and the curly
headed lion tanner, with Hair Bloom on
his tresses, performed all sorts of feats
with the king of beasts, winding up by
gagging the king of the forest with his
dank dome of thought. Then people ap-
plauded the man, forgetting that the
poor lion would have to go and eat a cat
or an Angora goat to take the taste out
of his mouth.
1--WE have great fun, of course, though
IN quiet way, my wife and comparing
notes regarding Mortimer and Peradven-
ture, for they do lots of amusing things.
Sometimes it is not SO pleasant when
they eat too much preserves or drink
milk when they have been eating green
corn and watermelons.
"But nothing is more beautiful than
in the winter evenings by the big open
fire to watch Mortimer and Peradventure
playing checkers and whistling 'Floyds
Retreat while they knock a couple of
checker men together and crow like O.
pair of infants.
II didn't finish telling you, though, how
Peradventure hoped on Mortimer and
accused him of taking the horehound
candy that he had put up on the joist of
the woodhouse. Well, Mort denied it,
though he didn't of course know that /
had done it myself for Peradventure's
good, and he said my grandfather ought
to know what he was talking about be-
fore he tackled folks.
'sAt that my grandfather said that he
had been graveled and CALLED about
long enough by an old fungus like my
wife's grandfather, and he might about
as well settle him and put him out of
his misery now as any time. So he
started at him with wild light in his
eyes, but Mortimer had in his mind what
ia told him about being prompt or his
life would pay the penalty, SO he
grabbed the ak that was sticking i'm the
chopping block and made rush for
Peradventure that scared him almost to
death.
60 Blank your old peltr says Mortimer.
IF you are in this woodshed in another
minute, I'll split you open from the bris-
ket to the watch pocket and open you
up like boughten codfishl Now gitr
- II. (@==:=---======-==.: