The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-01-14
NE KNEW CoIU1fDUs.
And He Was Ready to Lick Any Nan
who Didn't Believe 1t.

WHO n
Half a dozen men Of us were loungins
about on tho depot platform, As waiting
Messengers always do, and on an old trunk,
tied up with a piece Of BEDFORD n
checked for indianapolis. sat an Old man
smoking a corncob pipe. He appeared TO
he deem in his own thoughts, and was sit
TING with his elbows on his knees and his
chin in his hands, when something was
said about the late Columbus centennial.
"Are You talkin about Christopher
C,lumbussv asked the old man as he sud
denly looked up.
"Yes."
ave knowed him goin on fifteen years
and I can't understand why they make
such a fuss over him."
You don't mean that you know Christo-
pber Columbus personality" queried one
Of the men.
"SartinIy / dor was the peppery reply.
"I bain't used to bein called a liar when |
make n statement. / said | knowed him
for nigh fifteen years, and guess It's a
year or two more'n that
"But. man, Christopher Columbus has
been dead for several hundred years.
"Call me a liar agin, do yer hain't no
FIGHTER. but | won't stand that from any
body, Christopher C'lumbus was over to
my house last night TO borry my busnel
basket and see II | had any cider bar'ls to
sell. he was livinthen and in good health.
"Ah, / seel" replied the passenger. you
are speaking OF n neighbour"
"Sartinly, and A good Deighbor he Is"
but we were talking Of the Christopher
Columbus who discovered America"
80 am |. | never heard him say with
hisown mouth that he did it, but I'm willin
TO bet on It. He's no hand to brag, but all
of us know he's the man, jest the same.
His wife once told mine all about it."
"My dear man." continued the other
with great persistency, christopher Co
lumbus discovered this country in the year
l492."
"Waal, Pm not goin to call you a liar
about that. II you say itss so I'll let it 90.
And he died early in the Fifteenth cen
tury."
"Tbat hain't sol He hain't dead yit on
less he was takin sudden last night or this
mornin, and | don't believe he was"
But he must be-"
"Then I'm a liar, am II" squeaked the
old man as he rose up and spat on his
wrinkled hands.
81 don't say that. | wouldn't call an
old man like you a liar even If | knew he
lied. The trouble is that you don't under
stand"
I'D as lief be called a liar as a foolp
shouted the old man, growing more ag
---..s,. M tLa nthar caannaH m yyaaEan
81 hain't struck a man in thirty years. but
it may not he two minits before | knock
some one into the middle of next week.
"Can a man live 400 years." demanded
the other.
ale kin fur all Of me! ! hain't sayin
how long he shall live"
us your neighbor 400 years oidf"
Gle don't look it, but | never asked his
aige. | was brung up to hey better man
ners than to ask folkses' aiges."
"Wcll. you ought to know that he can't
be the Christopher Columbus who discoy
cred America"
"Orter know! How'd | orter knowi
Dye 'Spose | go around pryin into other
folkses' bizness and maxim a fool o my
selfi When he bought the farm next to
me on the north they said he was the Chris
topher C'lumbus who diskiyered Amer
lea. He looked Ike it and acted like it,
and why should | say it wasn't SOP Then
his wife told my wife that he was the man,
and I'd hev been a purity naybur to call
her a liarl"
Pm sorry for you." said the passenger
as n last shot.
about WHAT"
because you are so ignorant"
"What, callin namesi" shouted the old
man AS he spat all over his hands and
hoped around. 'Fust you call me n liar
and then you call me names! | wont
stand il another blamed minitl III give
ye the gaul durnedest lickin g Teller ever
got in all his born daysl Here, cum back
But the other hastened away, and when
he had turned the corner Of the depot and
disappeared from view the old man, whose
legs had been wabbling about all the time.
resumed his seat and iOurished his aged
fists around and exclaimed:
"Nebbe thar's somebody else here who
wants to call me n liar about Christopher
Columbus! | hain't no fighter, but I've
got woke up for the fust time in thirty
years. and I'll give any man a bar'l of cider
as dast knock a chip off my shoulderP-
New York Herald.