New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-12-06
THE TALK or THE DAY.

good story OF the danger of phonetic spelling
IL told by Australian paper. Scandinavian
named Ole Baumgartz. who is established in
Australia as n schoomaster was astonished and
outraged ole day by the receipt OF the following
mssivc:
''Old Boom CUTS. Is queer.
Cur ass you ar Il OF no legs wish to inter
my bowie in your skull
\ conference held. and the writer, new
conner. was visited by body Of inhabitants and
asked Indignantly to read his letter aloud. and
say what he meant by it, He read:
"Ole Baumgartz. esq.
Sir As you are a man of knowledge l wish to
enter my boy in your school,
A PARLIAMENTARY fine tin can you have
there remarked one Anarchist 70 another
Yes: but it has filled my mind with new prob
lem Tin cans are rather scarce. you Know
And can't make up my mind which sort Of a
load to put in this one
IL don't know whether to use II for a bombSheil
or "A growler. "-(Washington Star.
The famous old schooner yacht Ambassadress, Of
the New-York Yacht Club, owned by Nathaniel
Thayer OF Boston. purchased short time ago
by Richard r. Green OF Boston. and is being
fitted out for the Newfoundland herring fishery.
The Ambassadress which designed and built
by David CARL, at City Island, in lS', was in her
day the largest and finest yacht afoat. being JAG
feet long, and IS feet BEAM with burden of 233
tons.
What He EnIoyed.-"Do you enjoy holidays?"
said Johnny's uncle
What DO you enjoy most about bout th ncpnn, u,ou,
ben' sick "-tWashington Star.
The phrase In Chicago used to be Before the
fire" Now it Is Before the FAIR
Her Little Scheme-"What a lovely bon
Mrs Potts-It's funny the way got It,, too |
hax.fn iChl
the new Tariff bill He talked for about five min
utes and then compromised on ths-tindianapoiis
Journal
"Whcn went out to live in Lonelyvllle" said
Suburban the other day to friend. II organized n
Society for the Prevention Of Cruelty to Animals
"And how is IT working" oh pretty well; but we
have changed its name and character somewhat.
We now call II the Society for the Prevention OF
Cruelty to Men. and its object is to free the town
from the COO odd useless dogs that now make 1t
terror by day and night"
She Wanted to See It-"Do you like to look at the
yes. indeed. uncle" replied the intelligent child
but | can't make out yet which pig Il is which
gives the homeless bacon. "-(Pittsburg Chronicle
1.-THE other day" says Boston gentleman. II
was told of II little girl who attended a distribution
OF prizes given by the Society the Prevention OF
Cruelty of Animals. She had won. you must know
a book reward for writing the best essay on
children. undergoing a viva.voce examination.
"Well. my dear said the gentleman who had
given away the prizes, can you tell me why 1t is
cruel to dock horses tails ana trim dogs ears?
"'Becarse.' answered the little girl what God
had Joined together let no man put asunder"
Scvcre.-She is the brown-eyed girl who works in
the telephone exchange. and he Is the young man
who Is sometimes more energetic than courteous.
Hello. Central" he called the other day. this
Is the second time have called you. Have you
been asleep"
such strange dream. 1 thought | heard voice
from the Internal regions and awoke just In time
| to hear you calling. What number" Washington
Star
"The Wichita (Kan) Eagle" thus diagnoses the
best-known woman politician OF Kansas: Mrs.
Leases glory is In her ridescent zigzag her gyrated
scinization, rather than In her unbfurcated
| habiliments 1t Is the dazzle of her unexpected
sbyward scoot and the dead thud of the subsequent
backward flop that at once fascnate and paralyze
| her devotees"
He was as green as a pumpkin. and 1t showed
very plainly on him when he appeared before the
court charged with stealing mule:
Have you an Attorney asked the Court.
| DO you want ore?'
| whats the him.
| He will defend you"
You mean he'll git me or?
| Hell try to-"
| But can hep
| That's for the jury to say"
| KIN The jury do it?'
Yes; the case is left to them"
..A And they kin git me OF?
We'll, then. ef It's jest the same to you. III
take jury."-(Detroit Free Press.