Pawtucket tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 1890-189?, 1893-12-28
I wish I was dea6'

am 2S years old. j never really no.
ticed IL till now. / am perfectly sound In
limb and wind as they say of horses;
can't find a wrinkle or n crowsfoot on my
face, II look ever so hard; / could dance
all night without stopping-but no mat
teri have had my day, and the sooner
realize the fact the better.
Isuppose / oughtn't to complain. I've
had good time on the whole. i came out
and was made a fuss about. and lots Of
people felt In love with me-and that's al
ways supposed to be pleasant. Not for
them, poor thingsl but then no woman
ever thinks Of that.
I've danced and firted and gossiped and
amused myself generally y and made n busi-
ness Of pleasure. II the dancing shoes I've
worn out were collected, what heap
there would bel And all the frocks I've
worn and torn and put my foot through,
and the bouquets I've ruined, and the
compliments I've had, and the offers I've
sefused oh, yes, ! was a success, not
doubt OF ltl
And now what's the good Of it all' I've
made a certain number Of people quite
miserable, but I've never been in love my
self, not really-except perhaps
/ was very heartless. I've been told
times out of number that had "no
heart" Men always say that when n girl
refuses them TO save their own vanity, but
In my case dare say it was true.
Well, nobody cares now IL have heart
or not. It's all different. j have got a GER
tain number of friends whose step suits
mine. who ask me for dances, but without
enthusiasm, and talk to me of this or
that "dear little thing over there who is
enjoying herself sop They say I'm a
"good sort" and 'real friend" A
friendi What has friendship to do in
ballroomt
can see the ballroom reflected In the
mirror here. How nice and cool the glass
I Is TO my hot cheeki What a fool / must
look-only there Is nobody can see me,
and II they did they wouldn't care. No
body misses me. There's Laura Grayi She
tries TO be the good Samaritan Of the ball
room. Don't let me catch her eye, or she
will come and throw me a castoR partner
Of her own. She's a kind girl, Laura, but
don't want charity dances. i should say
I was engaged. | will not dance with vet
trans or boys. had rather sit out.
How decidedly melancholy dance music
Isl never noticed IL 80 much before. I
could lie down on the floor this very min
ute and howl, IL were to let myself go.
Suppose I were to cross the room and
talk TO Mrs. Flemingi Anything to seem
occupied No, see she is asleep, and II
she were not she would only tell me of
Violets perfections. l see them-every-
body sees them. Oh, dearl
There Is Violet, with John Forrest. He
Is looking at her exactly as he used TO
look at me, eight years ago. WbE did we
QUARREL My fault, begin 10 think. !
suppose it was, but ] know / felt very
much in the right at the time. am not
sure now if-and he has not said more
than three words to me sincei It's rather
awkwardl We have 10 go on meeting, as
we move in the same sets, and both he and
hate fuss. Oh, the world. the worldl
Anything not to have people talk. But
he has never forgiven me. II he were to
ask me for dance now, ] should think
the end OF the world had come. / needn't
be afraid, though was much too horrid.
Sometimes lately have thought that
he would be glad to-oh, it's Just my fan
cyl And i don't want him to either
Iwonder If be really cares for Violet
Fleming' She's delightfully."- young and
naive and enthusiastic. l know he thinks
so, but she has the reddest arms i ever
sawi
Oh, don't let me be spitefull
know that cadence. The waltz is near
ly over. They will all come by. That's
the most awful moment of ALI I wish
was talking to Mrs. Flemingl IL Is so
hateful to have TO try to look uncon-
! cerned and as II were sitting here be-
cause ] preferred it.
Oh, / can't bear I'll I'll marry. I'll
marry Mr.. Brown. He adores me-he Is
only waiting, as Herbert's poem says:
That weariness may toss me TO his breast.
shall condescend to let him see that
don't absolutely dislike him. | shall mar
ry him and live in the countryl How ter
rible! But it's the only way out of Il for
mel
Yes. for me, but for himl don't love
him. How could II ! should have TO tell
him, and even Mr.. Brown is not so alb
ject as TO marry a woman who tells him
point blank that she can only promise to
tolerate himl Aud II don't tell him
It would be mean.
No. I'll go into a convent. How dulli
Not so dull as marrying Mr.. Brown
though.
Here they all comei must try to look
unconcernedi / know every stick Of my
fan by heart, bst will pretend IL inter
ests me deeply. / can see over the top Of
II.
Here's the first coupled Billy Danvers
and Miss Forrest was his first love, and
he's trying hard to make Grace Forrest
think she Is. Let himi
Mrs. Jenkyn and our hostl She's Wild
ow. wish some one would make me a
widow, What am saying' But she's 10
! years older than am and she laughs like
q child. That's the good OF being n widow.
Here's Mr.. Hastings. He really was In
love with me once, so now he detests me.
"a man scorned" Is much worse than
woman scorned. He won't even look at
me. No-straigbt past
Why, here's Violet with Mr.. Darcy I
thought she was dancing with John For
restl And John Forrest-alone!
May you have dance, Mr. Forrestt I
-I-yes, certainly. The nexti--tbe next
but one.
Oh. good heavensi The end Of the world
or the beginningf-Black and White.