The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1893-06-13

Gentleman" said an indignant pas
senger or a Third avenue car yester-
day, will none of you get up and
give this old lady a seat9" III thank
you, sir" snapped the lady, Ito attend
to your own affairs. I am not so old
as you are by twenty years, if 1 am
any judge of a persons age" The in
dignant passenger got off at the next
station,
ON THE FACE OF 1T.
"Where are you gring, my pretty maide?'
I'm going a-milking, sir" she saide.
,",What Is your fortune, my pretty maide?"
Exactly what mine is, my pretty Made"
II pity your poverty, sir" she sadie
And the lowly herd wound slowly Ger the lea.
Life.
HER ARTFUL SUGGESTION.
Licenses are very expensive" re-
marked an Oakland young man to his
best girl.
"Why, they only cost fifty cents
apiece" replied she.
Fifty cents! Great Scottl Where
can you get a liquor license for fifty
cents9"
Twas thinking of marriage license.
dear" explained the girl, coyly.
"O-o-oo! Shall I get one next
week9"
Well, the first of May will be soon
enough."-PittS6urg Chronicle TeIe-
graph.
DOMESTIC LOVE.
[ never saw a garment too fine for a
man or maid; there never was a chair
too good for a cobbler or a cooper or a
king to sit in; never a house too fine to
shelter the human head. These ele,
ments about Us-the glorious sun, i'm
perial moon-are not too good for the
human race. Elegance fits man; but
we donot value these tools a little more
than they are worth, and sometimes
mortgage a house for the mahogany we
bring into it.
I would rather eat my dinner off the
head of a barrel, or dress after the
fashion of John the Baptist in the
wilderness, orsit on a block ali my life,
than consume all on myself before
get a home, and take so much pains
with the outside when the inside was
as hollow as a empty nut.
Beauty is a great thing; but beauty
of garment, house and furniture are
tawdry ornaments compared with do
nestle love. All the elegance in the
vro,IJ rr;1T MT 1oolzO y hopoo, ooJ T
would give more for a spoonful of real
heart love than for whole ship loads of
furniture and all the gorgeousness,
all the upholsterers in the world can
gather.
MAYBE HE WAS A LOAFER.
Darling" said he tenderly, Il have
made up my mind to ask-to ask
your"
YES" she whispered breathlessly.
"To ask you to be my wife. know,
dearest that it is bold-it is presump-
tuous for me to do SO. You are SO
much superior to me. I am, I feel I'M
worthy of your"
So no more, John. I am yours.
You may be unworthy of me, but"
"But what, dearest?"
"Half a loaf is better than no bread"
I-TeGas Siitftjngs.
SHE HAD HOLES IN HER STOCKINGS.
One of the most estimable women of
Louisville, and one whose friends would
never suspect her as the one referred
to below, is subject to smothering
spells and confidently expects to die
during one of them. Several days ago,
while sitting at he front window en-
gagged at some light needlework con
versing with a neighbor, she felt one of
the spells coming over her. She called
to her friend to summon Dr.. -- and
then fan her. The friend sent for the
family physician, and in nc time he
was at the house. Meanwhile, the suf
ferer was sure she was dying.
ooh, Mrs. -" she sobbed hyster
ically, 81 know I am going this time
I am dying, I am dying. Good by.
Mrs. -"
The doctor at one began the appli
cation of the usual r~estOraives, but
they seemed of no avail. The suf
ferer appeared to be gradually losing
her breath, and the doctor believed she
was expiring. He tore away her ruch-
ings about her neck and called to her
friend:
"Mrs. --, take off her shoes, please
we must enliven her circulation some,
how" The doctor got her neck free
enough, but when the friend lifted one
foot to remove the shoe the sufferer