Grand Rapids herald. [volume] (Grand Rapids, Mich.) 1892-1959, 1893-02-19

Grants sztet r<selns4er Ma ~ e-A-rse
sst. he dssns ~rsts il
AID onee N ezzsp = nen = tresh
ostesr <t&xtsa II - issil . de1seatli story
with Eae Dreaxz - Ehcre are no l---lss
ur<~enf. CsA Graz. pruznPtly re-
r.srke.k But taezs sFe gentlemen
pr~s<es. ana tas stsry VA eex~r told.
whea F1sstea king wens . eongress
he eoalaDs tsks = seSrtlssis tram. ous
haa % ritis On bors2basz. soaeh. esa--
hoas an1 f.4s Ike. - he tola with teei-
ing fLis tosashiaz tA-e.
eone 4af sk~E. Vas rt1iav along .
n1dsiy Fsad Ia nortksrn &r~ York
observed htEie dls,sncc az y r1aiay
whip apparently stiekieg ~ Ia the
mad sIs3pea - plcA L up. hat. raest-
ias vita unexgees<1 resistance. tiseoy-
erea thzt IL ~as txht.y slzzped N y
hialnAa hand l sus4moAed s-ssisfanss
and we aeon had LA mud piastered gen-
Asnssn dug o1t Of the totEotllsss
sbysz tsentlsm2a. said he. a. he stood
there In bis mad-pl.2tersd raln~nt 4
thank You all Tor your kiad assistance.
bat for which | must Inevitably have
lost my life. Now II you WI add ~
your good lsbors by assisting nss TO re-
cover ny horse. l will"
Hold on" said . Iouisiana man
fthis was Ia . congressional cloak
room), '.your story IL all right ling.
only IL happened To- my own love.
Louisiana
"Pshswl'' said virginiaa- 1T was
right out here ON the Richmond road
not dozen miles from Washington"
As matter % fact. the story Is sew
eral thousand years old and still in CON-
pArztively good health
Ihere - . Chicago story which Il told
about Eugene Field. Philip d. Armour.
Or. Gunsanlus aud half dozen other
victims The hero couldn't have been
Field. for he Is an accomplished linguist.
The tale runs that Chscago man WIS.,
itiny Paris sat down one day In a res
taur2nt Utterly ignorant Of the Ian
guA9e. he ran his thumb down the bill
Of fare a little way and said; .'iierei
Bring me some % that The waiter CON-
piled. Struggling his shoulders rs one
who liseialns responsibility and pres
emily returned with oish Of pickied
pigs feet
"H-N' remarked the pork packer,
surveying The array. show aid he know
/ was fren Chicngo?"
Chauncey VI Depew. Robert @. rngcr-
soil aud Senator woleott, Of Colorado.
are called three OF tic wittiest speakers
In America one Of Depe'vs best jsIScs
fen hat when first uttered and became
famous next day. II was at the mass
meeting during the Minneapolis con-
vensisn. Depew was holding his audi
encs IN great shape when no compared
somebody or something With "the in
eeriated chamois which. IN It's Alpine
fsstsess. leaps from jag TO jag" Prob
ably because pepcw's accurate pronun-
ciasisn Of the word ''chanscis' wasn't
the ono taught in the district schools.
there was hardly ripple Of Laughter.
Next day. when FOLKS saw the joke In
type. they roared-
Speaker Capron. Of Rhode Island. tells
with gusto n story of n tax collector
who, after an exciting experience OUT
side. burst into an Iri<h wonan's cabin
with the remark: I'm have to tax you
for that goat. Mr., Mulcahey."
"An' why, thin. darlin,7"
Because tho law distinctly says
must tan al property bounding and
sbrtsing on this street. aud that goat
has been Astounding aud a-buttins ON
that street for the last hall hour
Either Frank stoskson or Julius
Chambers-I forget whieh--to,d this