The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-02-25


lay figures or Chinese joSses, Mrs.
Thimble insisted that If we looked
dowdy we should be hopelessly. ire
trievably ruined!
In the midst of this heart breaking
agony sort OF compromise occurred
to Mrs Thimble. 1t was to the effect
that her sister lend her that red gown
of hers--that very red gown to which
had iustinctively taken so fixed an
antipathy. And right here the plot
deepens and thickens. l have talked
with several learned Presbyterian the
ologians about it, and they confirm my
theory that Satan engineered the
trouble from the beginning. To begin
with, Satan created that red gown;
then he put it within Mrs. Thimbles
comprehension; then he artfully imbued
Mrs Thimble with yearning for and
harkering after that gown: then he
weakened the sterner qualities of my
nature until 1 became in a measure
particeps criminis, by yielding my per-
mission to the borrowing of that fatal
raiment-yes, Satan is responsible for
it all, so 1 warn everybody against the
insidious articles of that diabolical old
tyrant
To make short of long and harrow
ing experience, the red gown was duly
transferred temporarily to the uses of
my wife. The pearl-gray dinner gown
was rehabilitated and the brown silk
and the English walking dress were
fixed up in some sort of fashion-upon
my word, know nothing of this kind
e Z -
stood that Mrs. Macgregor's gown, the
red gown, was to be the piece de re-
sistance. Moreover, 1 was solemnly
informcd-nay, was vehemently en-
joined-that l was to set an inviolable
seal upon my lips and upon my coun-
tenance lest L should betray in one
way or another the awful secret that
Mrs. Thimble was wearing raiment
that belonged to another. | made every
promise; but, mind you, not until had
eXpostulated long and earnestly My
conscience clamored against this out
rage. The still, small voice within
kept warning me that this duplicity
would surely lead to sorrow. But
bless your soul! when it comes to ar
gument with ones wife-particularl
when that wife is the most adorable
creature on earth-eloquence and rea-
son and conscience are fragile, futile
things.
The first three days at Calm Lake
were halcyon days indeed. The Turn
ers were simply charming-so cordial,
so informal, so hospitable, so gracious
We had boating and fishing and tennis
galore; of evenings there was music
to refresh the senses, and the neigh
bors had a pleasant way of dropping
in after dinner and contributing to the
general mirthfulness. Yes, those were
ideal days; look back upon them with
fondness. Upon the fourth day came
an awful change. Intuitively 1 knew
there was trouble brewing for when
arose that morning my corns ached.
Moreover, Saturn was then at perihe-
lion and so was Mars.
Mrs. Thimble confded to me that it
was Nh Turner's birthday, and that
the dear fellow had a surprise in store
for him in the shape of birthday din
ner which Mrs. Turner had surrep-
titiously planned. And now," said
Mrs, Thimble, II shall wear the red
gown"
From that dinner the mischief spread
and deepened and waXed and ramified
Mrs. Thimble looked more beautiful
than ever before The shrieking, sin
full red set off to amazing advantage
the sweet spirituality of her face and
the girlishness of her figure. She was
I say it with regret, she was the Gym
osure of all eyes. Other ears might
have been deaf but mine heard what
that diabolical red raiment kept shrielS-
ing. Borrowed! Borrowed! Bor-
rowedn' That was what it shrieked,
and my misery was complete. To
emphasize the horror of the complica-
tion, Mrs. Turner guilelessly and cor
daily complimented my wife upon her
appearance. what lovely toilet you
have this evening"" said she; sit is very
becoming, you should wear it often"
am a man of quiet disposition and
of tranquil methods; as the author of
juvenile text books and an elucidator
of logarithms l have never mastered
the style necessary to convey to the
reader even a suggestion of the variety
and intensity of my emotions when |
overheard this remark which Mrs.
Turner, in all innocence, passed. Let
my silence now stand as an eternal
monument to the magnitude of my in
ability.
We came back home next day. /
held my peace. Mrs. Thin BILE was ex-
travagant in her rhapsodies over Calm
Lake and the Turner's and everything
thereunto appertaining. "Deluded
woman" thought 1; "enjoy your
triumph while you can A dreadful
awakening is in store for you!' Mean
while the gown-the odious red gown
went back to the keeping of its law
full owner.
They went to the theater about a
month later; yes, | remember, it was
October-the 10th; l was Watching the
stars that night, for the Review had
commissioned me to prepare critical
paper upon the apparent congestion of
meteoric matter in Sigma of the con-
stellation Andromeda. So did not 90
to the theater, and the party was made
up of the Macgreg gors, my wife, and
our oldest child. 1t was happy party
going, but sad party coming back. 1t
seems that in the very next box to
theirs at the theater sat the Turner's!
That wouldn't have been bad at all if
Mrs. Macgregor hadn't worn the red
gown, her red gown, that night. But
she did wear it, and of course the Turn
ers SAW it-of course they saw it, for
that red gown was of all gowns the
l..