Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1893-03-09
PlTH AND POINT.

The mother who starts to get
sleepy boy ont of bed these mornings
may be said to have rousing time of
it.-Philadeiphia Times.
-Kate-''The brides uncle gave her
away" Bessie-.'Couldn't he get any
thing for her?n Kate-"No. Nothing
but husband.
-''Goodness me, Johnny! What are
you crying about now?" "'Cause Tom
my dreamed about eatin' pie last night
and didn't "-Indianapolis Journal
My Few cook is a Jewell said Mrs.
Hicks ''Shc can take few old chicken
bones and n little veal and make a fine
ferrapin stew out of them. ''-Harper's
Bazar
Except in Case of Fire-Papa-
wonder how it is night shirts last
longer than dress shirts?" Mamma
Clothiers' Weekly
Penelope = Its dreadful. Papa
wants me to marry a man have never
seem" Perdita-'That's nothing, My
father wants me to marry man have
seen-"-P. & S. S. Co. IS Bulletin.
First Footpad-"What 'er We foller-
in messenger boy fur? He haint got
no money" Second Footpad-.'Hush
-sh! He's got bunch of violets. an
that's just the same."-Inter-Oc Ocean.
German Students Time
You going to attend the lectures on bot
any from seven to eight a. mp B.
Nonsense! i go to no lectures in the
middle of the night?'-Fliegende Blat-
ter.
Uncle John-''What still studying,
Nellie? They give you hard lessons to
learn, i fear" Nellie-''Yes, Uncle
John, they are hard to learn. but then,
You know, they are awfully easy to for
get-"-Boston Transcript.
-Maud-''I don't see how you can
marry man like the count, who is
marrying you only for your money"
Marie-'He does not put it that way.
He says he is marrying my money only
for me."-Brandon Banner.
"A Sharp Eloper-The Long Island
man who eloped with his mother-1n-law
showed remarkable acumen. When he
gets ready to be forgiven and taken
back to the home nest the mother-in.
law will not be in it. indianapolis
Journal.
Modest Merit.-Manager--'
claim, sir, to have every qualification of
a frst-rate actor?" Hamlet de Ham
phatte-"Well. perhaps 1 ought to men
ton the fact that am slightly deaf
the result of so much applause, you
know."-Truth.
-Spaceryt-"I shall have to change
that obituary of Joblots." Editor
What is wrong with it?" Spaceryt-
ut says she died in the attitude of
prayer 1t turns out that he broke a
blood-vessel while looking under the
bed for his collar-button"
"A Bed That Would Raise Corns.-
81 was going to bed the other night at
my hotel at Sea Beach, when a streak
of lightning came in through the win
dow and struck my mattress" What
was the effect?'' ''Bent the lightning
double. Seattle Soundings.
I'VE don't see much of you now"
"No, Pm studying to pass an examina-
tion for letter-carrier's position"
What are you studying?' The struc-
ture and origin of the Egyptian
pyramids You see have to pass a
civil-service examination. NY. Press.
How did you like the sermon?'
asked the minister of the drummer.
''Oh, I liked some parts of it first-rate,"
was the reply. Your remarks about
sins of omission didn't hit me. but when
you talked about those of commission
must say you were getty pretty close"
Star.
Even In the Suburbs They're Partic-
ular.-'Could you give me something
to eat, ma'am?" humbly asked a tramp
in the suburbs of Boston of the stern
visaged woman who opened the kitchen
door. Yes, said the stern-visaged
woman, as she theoretically closed the
door in his face and locked it with a
jerk, II could. "-Somerville Journal