Morning journal and courier., 1893-08-19
VERBAL BANGLES,

VERBAL BANGLES.
 Verify, the tongue Is an unruly member, not only when 1t lies, threatens, scolds, abuses, gives expression to moods that ought to have been suppressed. and in g hundred ways disgracss its owner, but when 1t by the merest little twist misplaoes oonsonant, or syllable, or even an entire word. Then these little alterations are amusing to the nearer, but most embarras- sing to the speaker, who cannot always join good -naturedly in the laughter caused by the conspiracy of wandering wits and frol- icsome tongue.
 Amusing examples of these verbal tan gles have of late been widely circulated in the newspapers.
 There was the "pillercatter" story, and that of the ''Tether Locking Sales," and the inquiry ss to an invalid's "infamma- roomy toryism," with number of others equally ludicrous. There WAS that of the .peaker who in a very impressive manner alluded to the "pittomless bott;" the lady who called the attention of friend to the beauty of the "autimnal tunts," and of another who complained that her husband was worked like "bird of beasten." ," There was the sedate gentlemen, who, when the door-bell refused to jingle, horri- fed his wife by advising her to send for the "hell- banger;" and the pompous clergyman, who read grandiloquently, "He spake the word and cathoppers came, and grassipillars innumerable." All these, whether genuine or counterfeit, we have read and enjoyed, for we know that they might have been said, in fact, that our own tongues might have been mischisvous enough to say them.
 Here is a small assortment; all true, and mostly new, since some of them have not before been in print.
 ."The bowling, wol6sh pack, was the un- complimentary phrase applied by politi- cal orator to the army of office seekers, but its force was turned to foollshness by a reader of the reported speech, who pro nounced with much emphasis the words, s'the wowling, pullish hack" We've been all in confusion at the house," said lady. "We've been paper. ! ing and paintering"; and another, in re l lating some experience, said that she had "just got the lass gighted when the bell rang"
 "He has been both beating and chet | tingi" exclaimed 6 gentleman, indignant | ly, and was yexed because his hearers l smiled.
 Ayoung lady was cautiously. picking hel way over a muddy crossing. A young man, coming from the opposite direction was engaged in the same engrossing oceu patton. The result-a collision. Botf were much embarrassed, all the more be cause they were entire strangers. Eacf murmured a word of apology, then th young man, by way of relieving his ments perturbation, politely remarked, Its rathe walk wettingl" Then they hurriedly pur sued their devious ways and maintained tumultuous silence.
 Very queer blunders are those of person who misplace entire words. as did the olt gentleman at @ lunch room when he asked for Ca bath of milk and glass bun" l Amateur elocutionists sometimes do this and it is certainly 6 very effective touch delighting the audience who often suffe in silence and deserve much by way o compensation.
 "'Gol your liver loves, said Cromwell, Curfew shall not ring to nght!"
 is one of those delightful tangles, and
 "Tnaef hs a,a the sp5ssaing smithy tree
 is almost as enjoyable.
 The story of the gentleman who said t another, "Excuse me, your name is pei fectly familiar, but I cannot recall you face." is offset by another of a dapps youth who, on being presented to distiI guished woman, remarked, 1T thinf madame, you have had the pleasure ( meeting me before."
 Said an old lady to a young girl who ha been lamenting 8 lack of money, "M 1 dear, you must remember that 1t Is easie for needle to go through the eye of
 camel than for rich man to enter hea' en-" Then, becoming conscious that st had blundered, she added hurriedl,,
 "There! always did get the horse b fore the cart"
 "What people did all this train con froma" was the question heard few day
 ago at the Union depot in New Haven.
 A slight confusion through conneotio
 occasionally speaks in public on the stag
 and the effect is not at all what he iuten
 ed. After telling very pathetic story.
 speaker 8. an open air temperance meetir
 exclaimed, q assure you, my friend
 there was not dry tear
 the roomp Another vehemently eja
 ulated while making an impassion'
 plea for the poor, ''My hearers, 1t is
 fact, that hundreds of children in tt
 very town go to bed every night barefoe
 edp
 These impish tricks of brain and tong
 in collision are not always played up'
 the speaker who truthfully begins his J
 marks with, "Unsccustomed as am
 public speaking" It was cultured al " popular minister who, in the course of 2 sermon upon the miracle wrought by ter and John upon the cripple who lay ? the gate called Beautiful, said ''Now Il n man was blind in his ankles" "Then
 must have had the blind staggers," ss marked one of his audience, and with tl a very natural conclusion this tangled ent
 tainment is brought to close. as HILARY