West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1893-12-28
MR.. BOWSER'S BOIL
His san AFrLiCvsoN LslD uum
Ue ron a WEEK.

the house the other evening. Mrs.
Bowser knew that some calamity
had occurred or was scheduled TO
occur at AN early date. His figure
was all bumped over, his legs drag.
ging as he moved, and on his face
was look Of desolation and
despair.
"Mr. Bowser, what on earth has
happened ?" she exclaimed, as she
met him at the sitting room door.
"l-Pm laid up - he gasped in
reply.
"Laid upl Have you been run
over or flung off the carp
"N-no- It's on the back OF my
neck -
Mrs. Bows0r is very practical
woman and never loses her head.
She got him seated in chair
and had his collar and tie off inside
OF 30 seconds. She found % red
hard swelling and asked
"Do you mean this spot here P"
"Yes ! | could hardly get home,
| suppose it's blood poisoning 20
"lt's nothing but boil, Mr..
Bowser Why. / thought from the
way you acted that you"
Nothing but boil 20 he
moaned. Nothing but something
which will cause mo the most
intense suffering for several weeks
and then result IN my death -
"lt may be little painful" she
soothingly observed, "but il
needn't lay you up at all. Don't
YOU remember when l had that
felon on nv finger ?"
"Td rather have forty fc1ons
Than this boil Let me lie down
before faint away !"
Mrs. Bowser helped him over to
the lounge and got his coat, vest and
shoes Oft. and that was the begin
ming of week full of business 10
her. 1t wasn't % Urge gener GUS
proportioned boil. bailt on the
mansard roof and doncr window
style. On the contrary, it was u
one-story affair covering small
extent OF territory-just such boil
as Q year-old boy likes to have on
hand aud rub against the fence
when another boy Is showing off q
stubbed toe or sore finger. Mr..
Bowser, however, had the idea that
it was as large as a disbpan and as
painful as broken leg, and Mrs.
Bowser thought it wiser not TO
undeceive him.
That evening he had to have
toast and jelly aud vino and a
poached egg, and when Mrs. Bowser
got his socks of and rubbed his
feet with alcohol be feelingly
remarked that # the calamity had
to come it was better that he should
oe the victim, as he could stand
the pain so much better than she
could. Before going TO bed Mrs.
Bowser had used, at his suggestion,
camphor, arnica, whisky, bay rum,
hot water, chlorOform, liniment
and two or three patent pain kill.
ers. After getting to bed he sug-
gested brandy, witchhazel and flax
seed poultice, and he turned over
to go to sleep with the remark:
"Some husbands suffering what
] do wouldn't care how much lrou-
bic they made. but don't want
anyone TO put themselves ont for
me -
Next day Mr.. Bowser bad a stiG
neck, ~ might be expected. As a
consequence Mrs. Bowser bad to
dress him and put en- his socks and
shoes. As q further consequence
he insisted on lying on the lounge
and moaning and grooming a large
part Of the time. Mrs. Bowser
assured him over and over again
that she knew ali about boils and
how 70 bring them to a head, but
he could not rest easy until doctor
had been called in. The doctor
professionally assured him
First-That 1t was boil.
Second-That " vas a small boil.
Thlrd-Tbat haxseed would
bring it to = head.
Fourth-Thas IL would burst in
due time.
Fifth--Tbat a ous.stofy boil Oh