Lawrence democrat. (Lawrenceburg, Tenn.) 1884-1925, 1893-12-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

-"Called down The feathers on
an elder duck Chicago Record.
1t is sometimes hard matter to
tell the prodigal son from the fatted
calf Memphis Commercial.
Mrs. Catchall-What do you think
you make out of Miss Nextdoor's voice?
Professor of Music-Five dollars les
son Inter Ocean.
-Jasper-ls intoxication always fol-
lowed by swelled head? Jumpuppe
Yes, even when man has been in
toxicated by success. N Y. Herald.
Mrs. Byer-Those are nice-looking
eggs. Grocer Enthusiastically
indeed; they're birds! (And then he
wondered why she didn't buy any
Troy Post
All the worlds a stage; bat to any
one who has ever witnessed an amateur
theatrical performance the fact is APP
parent that all men and women are not
actors. Vogue.
What ebbah yoh does. said Uncle
Eben to his eldest boy, "doan be sab.
castle. Err man dat keeps allus tryin'
ter shoot Folly ez she flies run er heap
o'resll Oh bein hurt by de kick oh his
own gun Washington Star.
When an athletic sinner is con.
verted he is apt to make an athletic
saint There is some stuff in him, and
he runs the heavenly race with zeal
and serves God as heartily as he ever
served the devil. Rev Chas G. Ames.
What is the matter with Dickie
Van Wibbles? ] saw him in the gym
nasium just now going through the
most horrible facial contortions. "Oh,
that's all right. Dicllie is developing
his facial muscles, SO as to get a good
grip on his monocle. w Washington
Star.
--"Dese new-fanglcd clothes dat de
young gents is wearin' makes me
tired said the young man who prides
himself on creating an impression that
he is looking for trouble. Whit de
matter wit emp "Dey make one man
look Jest like anodder Yer can't tell
whedder yer goin' up against er dude
err a college athlete Washington Star
~ never in my life, said a clergy
man to his wife, after sermon in
Westminster Abbey, so touched the
congregation. They were entranced;
every eye was upon me from the first
word to the last" mo wonder" said
his wife; your gloves were inside your
hat, and when you took it off they re-
manned ON the top of your head all
through the sermon. "-Tit-Bits.
When you have mind TO divert
Your fancy, consider the various good
qualities of your acquaintances. As
the enterprising vigor of this man, the
modesty of another, the honor and in
tegrity of third, the liberality of a
fourth, the vivacity and cheerfulness
of fifth, and so on; for there's moth
ing SO entertaining as Il lively image OF
the virtues and advantages of those we
converse with. -Antoninus
There are persons who are always
calling upon us to admire their virtue
of saying just what they think. If we
could only regulate their thinking, we
would perhaps lie more willing e
grant tl-~ln their tribnte of praise. TC
say iusi what one thinks may be wei
enough, # only the thoughts that are
kind and charitable and sympatheti,
are entertained, hut we all want to bt
delivered from the human tormentol
who thinks unkinf, cruel things ant
straightway gives expression TO sucl
thoughts and then actually expects u
to acknowledge with all meekness an,
with approving smile, his disagreeabl
habit oi plain speaking. = United Pres
/ byterian.