Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1893-06-01
A SNAKE BITE CURE.
The Old Settler Tells of It's Won
derfll Effects,

''Great spooks!" exclaimed the squire,
looking up from the paper he was read
ing and keeping his finger on the
place. Twenty thousand! Wat do
We think O. that, major? Twenty thou
SAN folks dyin' from snakes in one
year!"
"W'at do think on it?" said the Old
Settler. 'Wull, think them folks must
"a took their applejack pooty durn new,
bgosh, an a leetle too often!'
"Applejack!" said the squire, glar-
ing at the Old Settler. ''Applejack hain't
got nuthin' to do with it! These folks
was bit.''
''Bit, was they?" responded the Old
Settler. ''Wull, tina hain't nuthin' that
kin bite wuss thin new applejack,
squire. I've know'd it to be sharper'n
a sarpent's tooth. But who were tellin'
We bout all them folks dyin' from snake
bites? That's a good many folks,
squire. Ye orter be leetle keerful of
yer fggers when ye set out to peddle
facts.''
"Why, consarn it," exclaimed the
squire, 'here it is, right here in the pa
per! The paper says that last year tina
was twenty thousan' folks died in Injy
from snake bites!"
I'm Injy, hay?" said the Old Settler.
''Why, didn't hev no kind an idee that
the sarpent had got ez much of foot.
hold on Injy's coral strand ez all that!
Humph! must tell M'riar bout that,
an tha'll be a special meetin' of the
Clothers O. Them that's Naked an Feed
ers O Them that Hungers called to
look inter it. This here won't never
do! M'riar must call meetin' of the
Clothers an Feeders, and the sistern
must line the mex cargo O. red flannel
shirts an secon'-han' pants with leather.
I been spectin' they was little too
thin to perfect them heathens on Injy's
coral strand. An wat is the news
from Greenlan's icy mountains, squire?
How many folks is missin', long O.
snakes, up there? An does Afric's sun
ny fountains send in any returns?
Gosht'lmighty! This'll make trouble
fer my yaller-leg chickens ag'in, wen
this news gifts around, fer the Clothers
and Feeders alluz stays to supper.
fountains, squire?"
The squire folded up his paper, put it
in his pocket and gave the Old Settler
a whitening look, but said nothing.
This was plainly disappointing to the
Old Settler, but after awhile he resumed
the subject.
Twenty Thousand, hay?" said he. II
wisht know'd the directions O. some
leadin' heather over there an I'd send
him letter tellin' him bout the never
failin' Sugar Swamp cure for snake
p'ison, an tina wouldn't be no use O.
snakes bitin' anybody in that pleasin'
kentry any more, fer they'd only waste
their p'ison. If anything ever were a
cortion to snakes that Sugar Swamp
p'ison cure were! Gosht'lmighty. how
it could draw! An that were jist the
trouble with it. 1t had so much heft
to its DRAWN powers that the danger
were that if it got its hooks onter a
Teller that had snake pison in him it
were liable to kill him while it were
curin' him. Pervidin', O. course, that
ye want keerful in usin' on it. The in
grejints O. that Sugar Swamp snake
p'ison cure is secret ez nobody kin
ever hev outside O. our family. The
prescription were tbunk up by an an.
cistor O. mine who kim inter Sugar
Swamp wen things was skeerce.
Everything but bar an snakes Tha
want but two bar'l O. apple juice in
the hull settlement wen this ANCESTOR
o. mine sot down there, an folks was
comm in evry day all bit up by snakes,
and consistently havin' to be filled up
with that juice in a way that were
alarmin', that bein' the only snake
p'ison cure ez were reco'nized 'mongst
the 'arly settlers O. Sugar Swamp. So
this ANCESTOR O mine he got all worked
up over it, SEEM the way things was
goin' the future were goin' to be very
short, ez fur ez life bein' pleasant had
anything to do with it, snakes bein so
plenty, folks bein' so willin' to be bit
an apple juice bein' so skeerce. So he
up an says:
It's durn shame says he, to be a
wastin' good apples, jist cause folks
won't git outen the way o. snakes! This
here's got to be stopped. A Teller can't
hev no show at a toothful of that apple
no more, less he goes an gifts bit Dy a
snake. Them two bar'l won't last
more'n a month, an then wat we
gointer do? I'll think up snake
p'ison cure, bgosh, and save the ken
tryr
'''An' so my ANCESTOR went off an
thunk up a snake p'ison cure, an it's
main p'ints was its heft O. DRAWN
power. 1t want cure we took in'ard-
~, but it was clapped onter the place
where the snake had socked the p'ison
in, an that p'ison mowt better had q
millstun bout its neck an jumped inter
the sea than ben foolin round inside o.
folks wen that cure got arter it.
From all kin learn, tina were an
orful hellabaloo in Sugar Swamp the
fust time that snake p'ison cure were
used. Sim Janniken kim tearin' in
one day, and foppin' down in the tav-
ern ez usual, he hollers out:
.Spooks spinnin'!' says he. SIN
bit ag'in! Fill me up!'
Nov, this were the third time hand
runnin' that Sim had been bit that
month, an it took a pint ev'ry time to
skeer the p'ison outen him. So wien he
kim in this time an Topped down an
waited fer Uncle Noar Tidfit to come
a-rushin' out with a bottle an a tumbler.
my ANCESTOR were there, all ready With
the snake p'ison cure he had thunk up.
an he run up to Sim an says:
I" 'Where'd it bite yep
" Calf o my legp says Sim.