Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-09-21

carriage to ride in-nothin' but that
old buggy lonped way down on the
left side, where his old GRANDPA ther
BiggerS. the fat man. used to ride home
from town with a couple of kegs of
beer on the seat beside him. gradually
tranSferrir' the contents of the kegs
and diSturbin the balance of the buggy
springs
I've got it all fixed. Pa don't allow
them boys to come here now. / want
YOU 10 cit old Judge ReaSly to come
here at ten o'clock tomorrow night.
prepared to marry me to Clarence or
Ed. At quarter of ten l want YOU TO
tell Clarence and Ed TO come here.
and that II marry him. The first tel
Ter that gifts here gifts me. l don't want
either of EN- TO know the other has
been asked. and III know that the
one who comes first likes me best.
Pa goes to bed at nine. I'll stand in
the winder lookin' out of the hall
way upstairs. You can put a ladder up
to the winder for Clarence or Ed to
climb up on. You can put another
ladder up to the piaZzy roof. BeaSly
can git pretty near the winder on the
piazzy roof and perform the ceremon-
les from there. l want you to come
right back here after notifyin' the
boys, to assist me in calmin' pa if he
wakes up
EARLY next day l notified the Judge
to be on hand ready to marry some
body. He was willing to do it, bust
ness bein' slack. and got me to ad-
vance him dollar On the marriage
fee. and | knew that by ten that night
he would have drunk all the liquor
4 dollar would buy. At quarter Of
ten | found Clarence and Ed playin'
dOminOeS at JacksOn'S store, and |
took each one aside and told him to
come on out and git married
" l must go home and put on my
Prince Albert and shave first whs-
pered Clarence, and he skipped for
home.
" I must go home and put on my
Prince Albert and shine my Shoes
whispered Ed, and off he ScoOted
I L went back to Dyspringer's and told
y
was there, asleep on the piazzy roof.
and I was afraid he would fall off
and spoil things. Mary was mad about
the fellerS not rushin' right out to her
house. She said they cared more for
Prince Alberts and show than they
did for her. After a while I see one
of 'em come into the yard and stand
at the foot of the ladder, but I could
MT tell which it was.
g Who is it?' asked Mary of me. I
want to know who I'm maTyin'.'
" Mebbe it's Clarence and mebbe it's
Ed Looks kinder like Clarence and
kinder like Ed
g Can't you tell from the clothes?'
g Clarence wears a Prince Albert
SO does Ed. That straw hat with a
black ribbon looks like Clarence's, but
the ribbon on Eds hat is dark blue,
and that would look black at night
! g Who is it" whispered Mary to
the Teller.
! . Me- he whispered back.
| Can't you tell from the voice.
asked Mary of me. 4 don't want to
ask if it's Clarence or Ed. because
, I want whoever it is to think / never
thought of ma1Tyin' anybody but him.
" I amt heard either of 'em whis-
per since we went to school. 1t kinder
sounds like the tones in which Clarence
used to whisper ''NOw's your chance
when we used to throw pertaters at
Jim OsgOOd, sittin' in the front row.
when teacher warn't 1OOkin'. but it
also reminds me of Eds hushed voice
when we used to rob your pas melon
patch
i oh dear, what am I goin' to dog
grOaned Mary, aloud. That woke old
Beasly up, and he said, sharp like,
Join hands, and Mary was so startled
she slipped her hand in mine.
I pronounce you two man and
Wife said Beasly, In virtue of the
authority vested in me- and he lighted
a match. Why, it's you, BOokins.
You are the Teller. Well, I'll make out
the papers, and they'll be at the office.
well, I was married, and I didn't
care. Mary didn't care either. She
said she was tired of foolin' round
tryin' to decide between the two fel-
1ers. Old Dyspringer didn't care either
He said he was glad Mary married a
sensible Teller like me, instid of a cOu-
lple of blamed dudes like Clarence and
! Ed. I never knew which of them
boys was the maddcst. Sometimes
think Clarence was; sometimes / think
Ed was. "-Wardon Allan Curtis.