The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-08-26
PuNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-"Figgs-"Do you think peanuts
healthful?" Fogg-''Yes, indeed; very
fattening. Look at the policemen.
Boston Transcript.
why do you think Mrs. Timpson
is not going away?" She-''Pooh, didn't
see her pack all the things she would
need right in the top of the trunk. -
Inter Ocean.
-Teacher-"Do peas grow on vines
or on bushes?" Pupil (whose father
keeps a summer boarding-house)-
"They comes in s"-Boston Tran
script.
Use Fish Liver Oil."-Pinxit-
sand what's D'Aubsr doing this sea-
son?' Stipple-''Painting in the Cats
kills, believe" Pinxit-"Humph On
the Catskills, more likely. Puck.
"A Cool oposition.-She-'I want
twenty-five dollars to buy Japanese
fam" He-"O, get one of those five
cent ones. 1t is easier to raise the
wind at that price. Texas Siftings.
Bob trying to grow mustache)-
81 say, Tom, does it show at alp"
Tom (seriously)-"Well, yes, little;
but never mind. l don't think anybody
will notice t."-Washington News.
You're wrong in thinking Bigtalk
a coward. Nothing can scare him."
That's what l said. I've seen him get
frightened at shadow. Troy Press.
Ills Spooney apt to marry that pref
ty girl at the cravat counter?" 81
think he would if he felt that she could
break herself of the habit of calling for
cash. ''-Philadelphia Record.
-'You made mistake in calling
that drama OF yours play without
hero" "Why? 1t hasn't any heroes"
Its chocl-full of them. Every man
who braves an audience in play like
that is a hero."-Harper's Bazaar.
-Security.-"Are you afraid of burg
lars?" said the lady who was making a
short visit. mot since our new girl
came. The policeman spends most of
his time at our house now. "-Washing-
ton Star.
-She--'Mr. Sinnox, you ought to be
ashamed to say SO many mean things
about us women. / cannot imagine
y
other women lostly."-Indianapolis
Journal.
20, dearest, did you bring the at
tachment for my diamond locket?"
"Well, no, precious! Don't be alarmed,
though; the sheriff may bring one."-
n. Y. Ledger.
-Adams-"There are some things
cheap in New York. You can ride in
an open car from Harlem to the Battery
for a nickel" Burns-Yes, pneumonia
and nine-mile ride are cheap for a
nickel.-Texas Siftings.
Her Brother-'Why did you persist
in using French at the reception last
night? You bungled the language so
frightfully that no one understood
what you said" Miss Budd-'Indeed?
l did, every word of it"-Buffalo
Courier.
"A Boon to Mankind.-Dealer-
This is the finest boat in the mar
ket." Customer-s'What are its special
features?' Dealer-'sIt has seats with
powerful springs under them, that can
be touched off by pressing a button,
tries to rock the boat" Customer
'Name your own price. Puck.
The Chance of His Lif,.-Mr. Hen
peck-"My life is miserable" Friend
WHATS the matter?' Mr.. Henpeck
80, my wife is always fiaring up at
something, and now she is jealous of
my typewriter" F.-"Jealous of your
typewriter? Good! This is the chance
of your life." Mr.. H.-"How?'' F.
Discharge your typewriter and let
your wife take her place, and then you
will be able to do something you've
never done before in your life" Mr..
H.-''What is that?'' F.-''Dictate to
your wife. IN. Y. Press.