Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1893-06-08
FACTS FOR THE FAIR SEX.
VARIOUS MATTERSO FlNTEREsT
TO WOMEN.

Art of ConversinG--Dress
for the Rtde--Sway OF the
Elderly Lady-The Danger
From Matches.
A Woman's Hint to Women ON the
Art of Converting.
There are a few women who are
born with the gift Of knowing how not
to talk, but there are a good many
who cultivate that knowledge, and
with good reason, for the woman who
is able to make other people interest
ing conversationally has distinct So
cial status as brilliant talker, says
woman writer in the Philadelphia
Times. Men are sure to like her, and
the Mrs Leo Hunters Of modern So
cicty like to feel that they have some
one at hand who can make their lions
roar should they prove undesirably re-
served. If you, too, long to be social
power and would win laurels rs a
bright conversational first impress
your mind with the idea that it is not
flow of words that you need. but abil-
ity to direct conversation. You must
practice the art of starting thought,
keeping the talk general or making the
guest of honor the apparent leader;
you must draw out the timid, avoid
dangerous channels and make every
man and woman about you appear
at his or Mt her best, while your own
efforts are confined to an occasional
word thrown in to fill gap or change
the current Of the talk When you are
trying to make a company CONVEX
sational success always avoid rafting
iveliness on your own part. Don't i'm
agine that to be clever woman you
must be wit. If you are naturally
witty it is all well enough, and it will
crop out occasionally. but if your wit
is forced it degenerates into mere af-
fectation, and affectation is fatal.
If you are busy woman and cannot
find time to study all the subjects that
to get little of the technical jargon
Of everything, just enough to know
how to ask an intelligent question and
draw out what somebody else knows
about it. Your main object should be
to make yourself interesting without
being obtrusive; to keep yourself in
the background while you manage the
general conversation. 1t is a wonder
fully interesting accomplishment. You
learn to note the slightest change in
the facial expression. The CULVER of an
eyelid OF the movement of lip tells
you story. You see pleasure, anger,
interest, dislike, where another detects
no thought. Your own mind acts more
quickly as you appreciate the unspoken
thoughts Of others. 1t takes years to
bring it to perfection. and there is al
ways something to be learned, while
you have the pleasure of feeling that
your requirement is not wholly selfish,
for it gives yor the power to UNDER
stand the reserved and put the shy
ones ut ease.
Every woman should do her best to
become what we call a clever talkcr,
whether she aims to be social queen
or not. 1t is eminently a woman's &C.
compliShment, for there is not man
in the world unseltish enough to pract-
ice it successfully.
The Good Dinner Woman.
Helen Bridgeman has analysed the
good dinner woman" as one who must
be neither too young nor too old; she
must not be unpleasant to look upon,
neither must she be a beautiful auto
maton; she must be quick, responsive,
interesting and vivacious, but she must
not monopolize the conversation and
cause others to fight for their rights;
she must have in her the spirit Of bon
hommie, yet she must be the epitome
of good breeding and refinement; in
fine, she must be the most fascinating
flower of a complex civilization"
One could spell all this with four
letters, tact, and tact in it's highest
form amounts to geniOus, says the Sun.
1t is probably the hardest grace to
cultivate in the catalogue of virtues,
for it embraces all the others. It is
really the spirit and the letter of the
golden rule and it's corner stone is un-
selfishness. The popular woman
knows that every human being is hap
pier to tell a good story than to hear
one. 1t belongs to the general princi-
pie Of being more blessed to give than
to receive, and the good dinner woman
if one may be pardoned for using the
numbering phrase again, has this writ
ten as the first law in her decalogue.
One of the few really gifted women in
this particular said in Il sudden burst
Of confidence the other day:
Nobody knows what downright hard
work l do to earn my success. 1 keep
a notebook at hand and every quaint
expression, every good story, every
amusing thing I see or read or hear
which think will work up into tell
ing sentence, down it goes into classi-
fed order. Then I sit down and cram
for dinner as n school girl does for
examination. Want to know who I
learned that from? Why, from the ia.
nous Chauncey. They say he has
scrap books galore, full Of all manner
Of jokes and Of good things But with
a woman it is different. You have to
think of other people than yourself
when the dinner begins. My mind is
just like my gown; after it is once
ready think no more about it. I try
to find out the people I am to meet,
what they are interested in, and then
lead up to appropriate topics, intro
ducing them as adroitly as possible,
fill in the gaps with my nonsense, and
get people to talking That is the way
to entertain them. 1 once sat down