The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-02-19
THE HERO
WOMEN LIKE.
fcopyyieht. 1898, BY Jerome K. Jerome.J

fCopyyirht, 1898, by Jerome K. Jerome.l
The final question discussed at our last
meeting had been: What shall our hero
be? MacShaugnassy had suggested an
author, with . critic for the villain.
Browns fancy was an artist. My idea was
q stock broker. with an undercurrent OF
romance in his nature. Said Jephson,
who has . practical mind, approaching at
times the commercial: "The question is
not what We like, but what the female
novel reader likes"
THAT is So" agreed MacShaugnassy.
81 propose that we collect feminine opin-
ion upon this point / will write to my
aunt and get from her the old lady's view.
You," he said, turning to me, ''can put
the case to your wife, and get the young
lady's ideal, Let Brown write to his sis
ter at Newman, and find out whom the
intellectual maiden favors, while Jephson
can learn from Miss Medbury what is
most attractive to the common-sensed
girl"
This plan We had adopted, and the re-
suit was now under consideration. Mac
Shaugnassy opened the proceedings by
reading his aunt's letter. Wrote the old
lady:
think, If I were you. my dear boy, should
choose q soldier. You know your poor grand
father, who ran away to America with that
wicked Mrs. Featherly, the bankers wife. was .
soldier. and 20 was your poor cousin Robert,
who lost $4,000 as Monte Carlo. have always
felt singulsriy drawn toward soldiers. even ss .
girl; though your poor uncle could not bear
them. You will find many illusions to soldiers
and men OF war in the Old Testament tSee Jer.
xlviii:l4). OF course. one does not like to think
of their fighting and killing each other but then
they do not seem to do 20 much of that sort Of
thing nowadays.
$50 much for the old lady," said Mac
Shaugnassy. as he folded up the letter and
returned it to his pocket. what says
culture?"
Brown produced from his cigar case q
letter addressed in a bold round hand, and
read as follows:
WHAT q curious condolences! A few of Us
were discussing this very subject last night in
Millicent Hightopper's rooms, and I may tell
you at once that our decision was unanimous in
favor of soldiers. You see, my dear Sclkirk,
in human nature the attraction is towards the
opposite To a milliner's apprentice poet
would no doubt be satisfying; to a woman of
intelligence he would be an unu.terable bore.
The man OF brain Is not for the woman Of brain.
What the intellectual woman requires in man
to look at To an empty headed woman l can
imagine the soldier type proving vapid and I'M
interesting; to a woman of mind he represents
her ideal of man-a creature strong. handsome,
we'll dressed, and not too clever.
THAT gives us two votes for the army"
remarked MacShaugnassy, as Brown tore
his sisters letter in two and threw the
pieces into the waste paper basket. what
says the common-sensed girl?"
First catch your common-sensed girl"
muttered Jephson. little grumpily, as it
seemed to me. where do you propose
finding her?'
"Well," returned MacShaugnassy, II
looked to find her in Miss Medbury."
As q rule, the mention of Miss Med
bury's name brings q flush of Joy to
Jephson's face; but now his features wore
an expression distinctly approaching q
scowl.
"Oh" he replied, ibid you? Well, then.
the common-sensed girl loves the military,
Also"
"By Jove" exclaimed MacShaugnassy
what an extraordinary thing. What
reason does she give?"
THAT they look so nice when they're
dressed, and that they dance so divinely."
answered Jephson shortly.
We'll, you do surprise me-" murmured
MacShaugnassy. II am astonished."
Then to me he. said: "And what does
the young ." married woman say' The
"Does she give reasons" he asked.
ooh, yes" l explained; because you
can't help liking them"
There was silence for the next few
minutes, while We smoked and thought.
l fancy We are all wishing We had never
started this inquiry.
That four distinctly different types of
educated womanhood should, with
promptness and unanimity quite unfemi-
nine, have selected the soldier as their
ideal, was certainly discOuragng to the
civilian heart. Had they been nursemaids
or servant girls, l should have expected it.
The worship of Mars by the Venus of the
white cap is one of the few vital religions
left to this devoutless age. A year or two
ago lodged near q barracks, and the sight
to be seen round its huge iron gates on
Sunday afternoons shall never forget.
The girls began to assemble about II
o'clock. By 2. at which time the army.
with its hair nicely oiled and a cane in it's
hand, was ready for a stroll, there would
be some 400 or 500 Of them waiting in line.
Formerly they had collected in a wild
mob, and as the soldiers were let out to
them two at time. had sought for them.
as lions for early Christians. This, how.
ever, had led to scenes of such disorder
and brutality, that the police had been
obliged to interfere; and the girls were
now marshalled in queue, two abreast, and
compelled: by force of constables especi-
ally told OF tor the purpose, to keep their
places and wait their proper turn.
At O'Clock the sentry on duty would
come down to the wicket and close il.
They're all gone, my dears," he would
shout out to the girls still left; ''it's no
good your stopping, we've no more for you
today"
"Oh. not one" some poor child would
murmur pleadingly. while the tears weIled
up into her big round eyes, mot even a
little one. I've been waiting such a long
time"
Cant help that" the honest fellow
would reply. gruffly, but not unkindly.
turning aside to hide his emotion: .syou'ye
had 'em all between you. We don't make
EN-. you know; you can't have 'em if We
haven't got 'em, can you? Come earlier
next time"
Then he would hurry away to escape
further importantly; and the police, who
appeared to have been waiting for this mo-
meut with gloating anticipation, would
leeringly hustle away the weeping rem
nant. Now then, pass along, you girls.
pass along" they would say, in that irritat-
ingly unsympathetic voice of theirs.
you've had your chance. Can't have the
roadway blocked up all the afternoon with
this ere demonstration of the unloved.
You II have to put up with your ordinary
young men for today. Pass along.
In connection with this same barracks
our charwoman told Amenda, who told
Etheloertha, who told me a story, which
now told the boys
Into q certain house, in a certain street
In the neighborhoo1, there moved one dav
a certain family. Their servant had left
them.most of their servants did at the