Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1893-02-17
The 0face-Holder Specifies the Dis.
tinction Between the Office
Holder and Seeker.
The Shadow Party at the Residence
of Mr.. and Mrs. Barnes a Com
plete Success.
An Appreciative Audience at the
Concert In the Methodist Church
Last Evening.
In the Matter of Appoiutm ents.

Az Cue VMAtC0r OF appO10tma nt6
There are a great many disagreeable
features connected with the office of chief
executive of a boundless state like North
Dakota. do not wish to give rise to the
impression that l have ever been such an
executive. Not for worlds. l am still as |
have always been, a humble citizen. l do
not crave distinction in an official way.
Though assembled thousands have stood
and beckoned me to come and ensconce
myself in the g%ubernatorial chair and fold
the robes of purple negligently about my
mortal frame, yet l 4 have not come. Il say
shave not came to eradicate the impression
that l was reared in Boston). l have man.
fully withstood all temptations in this line,
and The hands which the rod of empire
might nave swayed do not sway anything
but the crosscut saw as it wand
erS dreamily across the cottonwood log or
the snow shovel as l remove the feathery
flakes from the sidewalk Immediately in
front OF my summer residence. My warm
personal! friends often accost me as l am
busily laboring at n of the aforesaid tasks
and ask me it l do not yearn tor some fat
public Office, wherein l might grow thin
and pale, in the fruitless search for some
thing to do. But l am happy in my lowly
walk OF life, and non of the yearning
which they speak so plaintively about
ever Expresses me. Iwould not like to be
the governor of any state, because l have
too many warm friends and advisers.
Humble asl now am l count by hundreds
the friends to whom I owe everything |
have in life. l owe them also, various
little sums. ranging from so cents to So
which with insane carelessness they al
lowed me to borrow at different times.
l am worried a great portion of the time by
persons who expect me to lay aside my
political n literary work and refund to
them some meagre pittance which they say
l borrowed from them. In such cases l
grow pettish and cross, and even my nearest
relatives dare not approach me. When l
see one of these importune conditions ap.
preaching and realize that l am about to
have one of these passionate fits of anger,
l at once lock myself in a closet and there
l battle with myself until l hear the disap-
pointed footsteps of the creditor as he
bangs the door and walks haughtily away,
not having discovered me. l then emerge
from my closet. eat a light lunch of lob.
sters and champagne, sing until
the house is vacated by everyone
but myself and am happy and light.hearted
again. In this way l await the fit of anger
and the creditor is spared the pain of con-
versing. with me when l am distract and
not in the mood.
IL | realize sizs perfectly perfect that if | occupied
s %onia n IL on Sf'e' mult R}piilfi snd my nerd fs!snf in
number until 1 could count them by
thousands. They would also grow
warmer, as they realized the appointments
which lay in my power to bestOw. l would
be besieged at all hours of the day and
night with friends of my long deceased
but who would come to tell me how much
l resembled my grandfather and how
my voice reminded them OF his.
Others. too. would come to tell me
how they told my parents, when
l was yet a child, rambling aimlessly
among the tomato cans and sage brush
which thrived i'll luXuriant profusion IN
the family hot house. that they knew |
was destined for something extraordinary.
They would all iusinuate carefully, after
making the above remarks, that a position
on some board of trustees would be the
proper thing, in consideration OF the long
standing friendship which had existed be-
tween my family and theirs. l would
grow thin and wan and pale. as l came to
understand fully how very popular my
family must have been, and at last 1
would cease to breathe and give up the
ghost, in endeavOring to apportion GU 100
appointments to the countless millions
who always loved and supported me, and
who had helped my family when the
children were all down with the measles.
Afriend of mine who has since died of
removal, once appointed NE to a deputy
ship in the p~oStOttice which the govern
ment had bestowed upon him in considera-
ton of the great service he had rendered
the party. 1t, the postotfice, was shaped
something after the fashion of a dry goods
box, but not so large, with a small, round
hole where people who never expected any
mail. came and stood patiently and asked
me in melting tones. from six to eighteen
times per day, Sundays included, if there
was something for them. There was also
a small, stained glass window in one cor
ner through which the light struggled and
fought its way, and finally arrived upon