The Ohio Democrat. (Logan, O. [Ohio]) 1886-1906, 1893-09-30
PUNGENr PARAGRAPHS.

--T,icker--"w What Is The flag on til,
Equitable building at half-mast forP'
Ticker Dead policy holder, proba
"--Broolslyn Life
Are you fond of authors readings
Mr.. Johnson?" "No, Mrs. Browne
The contemplation of suffering afford
mo no pleasure. "-IIarper's Bazar.
He Great Scott! burglars were n
our room last night, and" SheA
How lucky it was I didn't have my
bangs done up on curl papers. Inter
Ocean.
-Tramp--''Madan, have you an axp''
Lady Of the house--"No." "Have you
saw?" "No, have no saw" "Then
give me a little something to eat,
please" e."-1nter Urban.
--Harry--"How did that fellow come
to get off who was arrested for stealing
kiss from Mrs. Riclks?" Jack-"O, she
failed either to show value or prove
property."-N. Y. Herald.
-She-"Buty you have no reason to be
jealous of me; you know you haven't" :"
He-"Reason! reason! dispensed with
my reason entirely when / fell in love
with you. u."-Indianapolis journal.
First Politician-"My dear sir, In
ternational arbitration is all humbug.
Why, If you do away with war how
are you going to keep down the surplus
population"" Second ditto "Why,
we've got football!'
"A graphical reporter of Boston
paper, in describing suicide, says:
ut is quite certain that he was unmar-
ried, and there is absolutely no ap-
parent motive for the self-destruction.
Public Ledger.
"A Warm-Hearted Woman.-'NTis-
sus, could yer give an honest and hun
said the sympathetic woman; ''step
right in and take a good chop in the
woodshed. "-Arkansaw Traveller
-"And you rejected hin?" 81 did"
"He has the reputation of being q
large-hearted man" That's the
trouble with him: he is too large
hearted. lie can love half dozen
women at the same time. Cape Cod
Item.
-Watchmaker-"My friend, sus-
pect you've been putting kerosene oil
in this watch" George Bond--'That
l have. When watch goes in soak so
often something must be done to coun-
teractrust. "-Kate Field's S Washington.
Mrs. Sprightly-"I would like to
get an additional table for my dining
room" Furniture Dealer = "Sorry,
ma a'am; we have run out of additional
tables; but can let you have multi
plication or an extension table. RAY
mond's Monthly.
I'm the Banking Business.
HawbuclS -"How's Bill doin' now,
since he went to the city?" Farmer
Gee Up-"O he's doin' fine. He writes
me that he's runnin' an Egyptian
bank" "Why, that's funny name
for a bank" ''Wall, 1. s'pose its
he says it's a Pharaoh
bank. IN. Y. Tribune.
-''Great Scott! There's man in a
fit!' 80, no, he hasn't fit" But he's
got both legs wrapped around his neck
and his face is terribly distorted"
Yes, that's Mrs. Cumso's coachman-
he's just limbering up bit after wait
ing two hours on the avenue for the
good lady to match piece of lace."-
Detroit Fri ibune.
The daughter of country rector
in England taught the choir boys
new tune at a Monday evenings prac-
tice, to be sung on the following Sum
day. Sunday morning came. "Well,
Johnny, hope you haven't forgotten
the new tune, for we depend much on
rou." Nav, mum, not bit. Why,
n va ell I, -
Ill weekr'
Opposing Woman's Will.-"Did
my man ever make anything by op-
posing IL woinan's will?' exclaimed a
husband. 'Yes, l have
made a good deal by that sort of
hing" answered his brother Richard.
But, Dick, responded the other,
you're a lawyer, and the woman
whose will you opposed was always
lead. boston Globe.