New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-07-02

Record.
1.-The Chicago Mail" says 1t Is cur firm cohVicuoi
that before the close OF the exposition period ts
Columbian guard will involve the Nation In rid'
pestileBce, cataclysms, mlerheclhe s'rie, anu i'S
odd foreign wars
TIE PICKLE CHINA MAID.
Oh, Wing Tee Wee
Was a sweet Chinee,
And she lived In the town Of Tao.
Her eyes were blue,
Hung daugling DOM Fer back,
And she fen In love with Gay Win Sill.
When he wrote his love OH laundry Dill
And, oh. Tim Told
And he sail sailed / IN nu a Chinese Riss junk;
And he loved Cah meD
sweet wing Tee Vice.
But his valiant heart had sunk 81,
So he drowned his blues In tickle fzz
And vowed the maid would yet be Ill.,
So bold Tim Told
To the maid I'm the town of Tao,
And sweet Wing Wee
Eloped TO sea,
And more CANE hack:
For In far Ch.nee the maids fair.
And the maids are false, as everywhere. .
-lEauhelle Bazoo.
"Kyphosis bicyclisarum." IS apparently known =
the West as well as the East why is it, ash
.The Chicago Evening Journal that soon as !
Young man learns the useful and graceful art q
bicycle riding he must forthwith attempt TO undo ps
work by which he was made In the image OF Us
Maker and seek to transform himself into hdeots
mesozoc dnosaur some other uncanny creeping
thngf The head goes down. the back is humpct
the arms assume the position OF foreegs. and all that
is wanting is a croak TO pass for broken backed
frog. There is no excuse for this abomnation. An
erect attitude gives the rider much better command
Of the wheel. 1t is merely habit due TO too much
pernlcious and unhealthy "scorcllIng.' Women who
,ide wheels do stocp. out upon this frog squat,
This humpbaeted disease, 'kyphcsis bicyclstarumr
Mr.. south-Pn buy of those scarfs you
much admire Il refer me TO somebody TO tie the
knot.
Miss Norh-why don't yOu see our pastorl-
(Clothier and lIaberdashers' Weekly.
A hardware dealer of Albion. n. V. announces that
to every purchasing wheelbarrow he will give
free ride home In It,
"Say. Jimmy. IS yer father gon' tn help you eel.
citrate the Fourth OF July?'
:" Nav. Is yours ?"
well. ye-e-s He says hen buy me all the court
plaster an arnca want. T-(Waslnston Star.
Says Hardware: " Brass bedsteads are now found
everywhere, and the wealthy silver plating PARTS
of them making pretty piece of furniture at cost Of
$500 and upward. Perhaps the idea will solve The
silver problem
BOTH PLEASED.
Before Niagara Falls they stood.
He raised aloft his head,
For he was In poetic mood,
And this Is what he said:
"Oh, work sublime! Oh, wondrous Law
That rules thy presence here!
How filled l with boundless awe
To view thy waters clear!
"what myriad rnbow colors float
About thee like "a vel.
And In what countless streams remote
Thy life has LETT Its trail!'
"Yes. George the maiden cried In haste
"such shades I've never seen,
Pm going to have my next new waist
The color Of that green
-(Clothier and Furnisher.
A correspondent signing herself "Miss L., writes
TO The Brooklyn Tines inquiring: How late 60 YOU
think young should stay when he Is counting
a young lady7' Is 1t any wonder that Brooklyn
editors grow prematurely old when they are called
upon TO pass judgments upon questions as delicate
and momenous as this?
1t is said that James II. Randall, the author OF
" Maryland, My Maryland is to have a good Gov.
eminent office the Senate meets Prob
ably he will then wish his remarks about tho
" despots heel" the "tyrants chan' and the
" Northern scum" TO be understood In a Pckwickian
sense And he will try 10 avenge "thc patriotic
that necked the streets of Baltimore' by getting
and holding good fat office. 1t Is all right but
what sad havoc time makes OF old hates,
An Italian Prince who had Slclllan cook was once
travelling to his provincial Estates taking with him
out which, so fond was he OF the decacies they
wont TO prepare, he rarely II travelled. At o
the angle Of a roc the Se Ss &C
the head OF bis long cavacade heard shrek and the
splash OF body falling into the torrent far below.
Ing back. exclaimed THE cook! the cookl Oh. DO
not tell me 1t Is the cook!' No, your excelency,'
The Prince heaved sigh Of intense relief, then said
I" All. only the chaplain Thank goodness !"-fTroy
Times. Wv