Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-11-21
A DIFFICULT DUTY.
The Post of the Doorman at the
National Museum.
CANES UMBRELLAS IN HIS CHARGE.
Sometimes He Receives and Puts
Checks Upon Babies.
HE MIXED THEM UP,

|
good nature is paid for by the government
at small sum month. 1t is the post of
the doorman at the National Museum, the
gentleman who regards an umbrella with
horror and looks upon a cane with dismay.
He stands. meek and obllging, at the great
portal in the north. where all enter VINO
are in search Of Information about out-of-
the-way things Of earth.
| 1t is his place to see that the visitors
take into the building nothing with which
they can injure any of the exhibits, though
just how the government regards hands,
plain, simple hands. is a mystery. Canes
and umbrellas may be dangerous weapons
in the possession of tourists. but where
there Is will there is a ready finger to
pluck eyes out of models of Chinese man
darins, and to fitch fragments of burial
robes from Egyptian mummies.
However, it is all in a day. The man at
the door knows this. so he raises no point
about anything but canes and umbrellas
He has an eagle eye for them, and not one
gets past him. He reaches out over his
little railing that surrounds what looks
like combination of a wardrobe and a
hotel annunciator and he brings up the I'M
conscious traveller with a jerk.
Your cane, please" he remarks, so quiet
ly and incidentally that the guest bushes
that he did not think of II himself. Then
the transfer is accomplished, the official
tucks the cane away in revolving rack
In the wardrobe section of the apparatus,
ana fishes out a little round brass check
bearing number and few initials
Ihere is nothing more polite in the world
that the way in which this guardian of the
exhibits disarms the tourists
But he does not confne his attention to
canes and umbrellas, by any means: for
he is an adept in taking care of almost
anything, from a brown paper parcel to
baby. The other day Star reporter
strolled through the gates, surrendered his
umbrella with the remark that he boned
the gentleman in charge would NOT forget
MIN when he returned. as he might need
the water shedder in the pouring rain that
was falling outside: and then he tarried
moment to ask the guard the meaning
or a great variety of things that cluttered
up his little compartment.
Are you going to start a general store?'
was asked.
No. sighed the Waterman, I'm only talk
ing care OF a few things"
DID you issue checks for Them
On yes!' was the weary response; II
check everything. 1t is necessary in order
to identify the owners
Souidnt you remember them?"
suppose might, yawned the guard
as he returned an oyercoat to a departing
Ia
is" enough as IL
What's that in the corner~,
nat! repeated the guard, slowly turn
ing 10 see. Ihats bird cage, left here by
a woman just before you came in She,s
o.. mean, You know. that her check is
o. she may be fifty, for all know"
Just at this point a chicken confined In
market basket. started out to saw some-
thlns. She had some trouble in getting ria
OF her thought, for he was accompaniei hv
several other fowls, and the lid was down.
remarked: AN
Il wish the women wouldn't stop In here
on their way from the market It's a
nuisance, and it sometimes makes this
place smell like butchers stall. l had
Tour baskets last Saturday and one of
them had voice on it like a fog horn
saturday Is my worst day Not to mention
the baskets there are swarrns of children
and they seem TO lug Things along Just
Tor the fun of getting checks for them-no
ma am! fou- husband has not gone out
This was addressed TO lady with a very
red face and an excited manner who had
just rushed out of the lecture hall in search
of her spouse.
He was the tall man with a slouch hat 4"
she gasped.
What was the number" asked the
guard. mechanically turning to his cane
rack.
"Sou wretch She was gone The guard
lapsed into a melancholy musing.
DO people eve leave things here and for
get TO come after them was asked,
"Oh, yes; they are very absent minded
when they get in there among the relics of
the past, and sometimes they go out OF the
other doo- and carry off nv checks I've
had them come back here DAYS afterward
and claim their property. But l lose lots
of checks. and turn I'm good many canes
and umbrellas to the superintendent every
month. We clear up each thirty days"
The owner OF the chickens just then came
along and claimed her poultry. She had a
hard time finding the check. and grew very
much excited before she discovered IL in
that darkest Africa of human apparel, her
skirt pocket. 1t was number ~, and she
gave 1t up with a sigh and tucked her arm
through the handle of the basket and
walked out satiated with anthropclogical
facts. Her eye had scientific CLEAN
she went down the steps, and she pondered
upon the exact amount of lard to be used
in he next batch of crullers.
This is a bad day." said the guard re-
Stunning the conversation. because II is rain
ing and l have very little but umbrellas,
and wet ones, too. l often wonder that l
don't catch cold. handling them. Then l
don't have any babies to take care of on q
day like this. i like babies. My wife says she
thinks l would rather pet one of these
check babies than my own. I've got three,
of various sizes. But there is so much d.
versity about these check infants! They
are mostly pretty. for I've noticed that
mother doesn't usually take her baby out
II it isn't real good looking"
Il should think you would have a good
deal of trouble with them when they cry"
suggested the reporter.
Yes that's one of the drawbacks, but
they don't cry much They're pretty good.
as a rule. You see, babies like j:ngling
bright things. and so give 'em the checks
to play with. I've got lot here that l
don't use very often, and I've strung 'em
together on a string, and so l keep the
little ones amused. They come in arms and
in carriages The carriages make a good
deal of trouble, but l can't keep 'em out
because the babies can go to sleep in 'em,
and so they are out of the way"
There was a pause while the guard fitted
out a party of five young ladies with UNI
brellas mackintoshes and overshoes. He
was very gallant about II, and refused the
assistance that the reporter offered. When
they had gone and he had returned the
checks to their places he turned and show
ed his bushes.
Zone of the hardest things about this post
is the fact that people think they have got
to tip fellow for this business. IT hurts
their feelings to refuse tip, and II hurts
mine too, sometimes but l must do 1t; IL
would be against the rules as well as my
pride and conscience to take the tips"
The conversation was having a very rug
ged way, and another interruption came
along just then in the form of a man who
claimed that the guard had given him the
wrong umbrella. He had tramped all the
way back from the monument The guard