davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26
MO Use FnR HIM.

Waiter GnsinuatinglyJ-B pardon, sir, but
haven't you forgotten something?
Old Flint-Well, what have / forgotten,
har?
"The-the waiter, sir"
"All right All right! Next man that
comes along can have you. ! have no use for
you"
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26
ALL ABOUT GIRLS.

Girls don't have any aim in life but just to
get married Pooh! l wouldn't get married
for $50! I'm going to be an author when /
grow up. I'm gathering the material for my
book now. It's going to be all about how dudes
aud such like propose. and the lies they tell,
and what the girl says. hide behind the cur
tains or under the sofa every time see one of
Sisters fellers begin to look sneaking. / can
tell 'em every time I'm experienced.
Well. the other night I laid for Mr.. Putti-
head. He was pretty badly ratified, and when
he got about to the point he muttered aud slut
tered and gobbled so that / couldn't make head
nor tail of what he said. I forgot myself, and
stuck my head out from under the sofa.
Louder, please !" says /. 81 didn't catch
that last remark"
Well, sir, Puttihead tainted and Sister
screamed bloody murder, and Pa rushed in
and hauled me out into the woodshed, and, oh,
if he didn't raise my coat in great shape!
That is all l know about girls at present.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26
AN EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING.

swiggs-Zish sh pretty bad on Soak-trund-
ling him homesh in wheelbarrow in broad
daylight.
Tippleton - Gotter to do It'll Welsh too
drnnksh OURSELVES to walk him.
Old Soak during lucid irtervai)-Oh, zush
-hic!-tel foiksh welsh payin'-hic lection
bet zish way and letter 60.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

THE bill of Representative Caruth, of
Kentucky, provides that any man holding a
Federal Office shall have his pension stopped
while in Office. 1t may be that the incoming
Administration will see that this bill affects
as few pensioners as possible by removing
them from office.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26
coDIF1cATIoN OF THE PENSION LAWS

CODIFICATION OF THE PENSION LAWS.
A very important work has been finished.
1t is the complete codification of all the
laws relative to pensions, which was under
taken by order of the House of Representa-
tives, by Special Committee, consisting of
A. J. Pearson, of Ohio; A. N. Martin, of
Indiana; r. P. G. Wilson, of Missouri; Jas.
2. Flick, of Iowa, and Daniel Waugh, of
Indiana. Secretary Noble directed Special
Examiners T. T. Dennis and D. S. Porter,
of the Pension Bureau, to act as clerks to
the Committee.
The greater part of the work was done
by the two gentlemen last named. They
have spent several months in going through
the voluminous pension legislation since
the Revolution, and have carefully rear
ranged all that is in force under appropriate
headings, with references to the dates of the
acts containing it. This was work re-
curing patience, industry, intelligence,
and intimate acquaintance with the pension
laws. These the compilers have had in q
high degree, and they have produced a
valuable codifcation, which will be of the
greatest convenience 10 all interested in
pensions. The work now goes to Congress
for adoption. 1t is expected that this will
be done without serious opposition.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

$50 you have broken your engagement with
Miss Brisk, eh?"
YES; I endured being snubbed by her in
public, and smothered my jealously when
she firted ontrageously with other men, but
when she said that looked like the portrait on
a Columbus souvenir half-dollar could stand
it no longer, and broke our engagement on the
SPOT
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

TIE M TYONAL TRIBUNE is the only
shdnlpion he soldiers hare among the great pa
Sss Of The country. The best aray to help all
s~erGas Is by qsstiaS more Subscribers,
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

If each subscriber 10 THE NATIONAL
TRIBUNE tciH charge himself Nth getting
one nelc subscriber the circulation Of the paper
iI be doubled at once, aud Nth little trouble.
Lei each subscriber tfyit
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

THE New York Erening Post advises that
the Secretary of the Treasury be authorized
to issue 100000, 600 bonds to meet pension
expenditures. There IL no love for tho SOL
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26
KEEPING THE BOYS ON THE FARM.


Farmer Tuffkids-It haint such q difficult
matter after all, to keep the boys on the farm,
if you only go at it right.
City Visitor-Ah, yes Exactly. You-Good
gracious! There must be circus parade COM
ing.
Farmer Turf kids-That's only the Italian
band that I've hired to play six times day.
Tho boys are fond OF music Let's go out to
the barn; the billiard table is in the loft, along
with the poker room. The boys hold their
scrapping matches and dog fights on the other
side of this high fence. If your thirsty there's
q keg O. beer in the cellar, and hot tomales to
go with it. YondeI is the ball ground they've
formed two first rate mines out of the neigh
Dor boys and play twice q week. If you're
lookin' for sport, suppose you run up agin my
oldest sons faro bank2 They are talking Of
organizing a fire company, and I've promised
to let I'M burn a stack o hay once fortnight
Better stay over Sunday, for they're going to
give sacred concert in the barn. Going to
have a couple of real French skirt dancers,
and
City Visitor-What is that terrible uproarf
Sounds like the approach of a cyclone.
Farmer Turf kids guess it's my little four
year-old son amusing himself The child is SO
passionately fond of tying tin kettles to dogs'
tails that we keep 16 able bodied dogs for his
special benefit. He has invented plan for
tin kettling eight of 'em at time and letting
'em all of at once.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

The protracting of Mr.. Blaine's life is
wonderful exhibition of will-power by the
distinguished invalid, and of medical skill
hy his physicians
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

The Pacific Coast people are if anything
growing stronger in their determination to
prevent the introduction of the Chinese.
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

ask the doctor if he'll gimme al old pair OF his..
pantss
Handsome Young LADY, am the DOCTOR
Wabbly Walker (gaspinz]-Gug-gug good
LordI IL (Faints.)
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

FEARFUL MISTAKE.
Wabbly Walker (who has rung . physicians
door.bell)-1f you please, Msddim, will you
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26
THE LOGAN MONUMENT FUND.

THE LOGAN MONUMENT FUND.
The following additional subscriptions
have been received since our last report:
GRANVILLE Post, 1913. GRANVILLE, Ill...--... s. 90
Arthur Post, H. diminishing, Md----..... 10
So 70
Previously acknowledged. ........"..-. 1868 Ga
Total &l3 6I0 "a
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1893-01-26

ssrtsEo A. rt ~,.+seror r0sT OFFICE BATTER
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
Star OF the South.

Go to Velasco for health, sea air !,
and comfort; where ships too deep for
all other Texas ports sail in and out
with ease; where fruits ripen earlier
and pay better than In California;
where soil is natural hot-bed !.
Fresh vegetables all winter. Coolest
day in three years p degrees above
zero. Warmest day 90 degrees.
Velasco offers the best investments IN
the South. Write the Commercial
Club. Veiasco, Texas.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

We are going to the Fair, Mary
Jane; all our neighbors viii be there,
Mary Jane; and we'll eat Chicago pie,
and we'll drink Chicago rye, and Wen
breathe Chicago air, Mary Jane. We
won't find the trip joke, Mary Jane;
for we'll leave our goods in soak, Mary
Jane; and we'll save for sixty years
just to square up the arrears, for the
Fair will leave us broke. Mary Jane,
Mary Jane, for the Fair viii leave us
broke, Mary Jane.-Walt. Mason.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

A few months ago, when trips to
the Worlds Fair were first talked of,
number of our people began to
arrange parties, crowds, companies etc.
to GO and have regular picnic Of a
time. Somehow, these proposed par
ties are all broken up, and you see this
or that one sliding off to Chicago all
by himself or herself, bent only On
seeing all there is to be seen in as
short time as possible and at as little
expense.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

A valuable horse either strayed
away or was stolen from Will Merritt,
of near Heller, last week. It will be
well for people to watch their stables
and pastures with more vigilence, as
there are reports Of horse stealing from
every part of the state. There are
lots of men leaving the western part
of the state, going east or south to
hunt work, and some of them are not
averse to borrowing horse occasion
ally to help them on their way.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

An exchange says that wagon ma
ker who had been dumb for years pick
ed up hub and spoke. Yes, and a
blind carpenter on the same day
reached out for plane and saw; a
deaf sheep ranchman went out with
his dog and herd; a noseless fisherman
caught barrel of herring and smelt;
a defunct halter was tenderly deposit.
ed on a pile of hair and felt; and q
forty-ton elephant inserted his trunk
into a CRATE and hue. Yes, and the
dog walked off with his pants and coat
and the bed bug listened to the bed
tick, and so on, ad infnitum.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
The Population of Great Bend

Is about 8, 900, and would say at least
one half are troubled with some affec :
ton of the throat and lungs, as those
complaints are, according to statistics,
more numerous than others. Would
advise all our readers not to neglect
the opportunity to call on the druggist
and get a bottle of Kemp's Balsam for
the throat and lungs. Trial size free.
Large bottles SOC 81. All druggists.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
FRANK ROSE, Supt.

We heard one farmer say, the other
day, that he would cut $50 acres of
wheat this week and would immedi-
ately put listers to work and list the
stubble to corn. He figures that if
late rains come he will make it on corn,
and if not, he will have the ground
we'll stirred up for next years crop.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
This Office is the only place in town

This Office is the only place in town
where You can get first class job print
ing. such as cards, badges, invitations,
note and letter heads, statements,
envelopes, etc. printed in the latest
designs of type and with the best of
material. Special attention also given
to poster or advertising work. Our
prices cannot be duplicated outside of
the larger cities.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Theo. Elzbach, of Mendoza, Illinois,
cane out last week to visit his brother
Fritz, and the family of Hon. I'll. j.
Roetzel of ElIinwood. He only
intended staying a day or so, but the
east side boys have made it so pleasant
for him he may not be able to get
away at all.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

On Monday of last week Charles II.
Boyle Of this city and Miss Ada NAL
lory, daughter Of Mrs. T. E. Mallory
of Hoisington, were married at the
home of the bride, and now make
their home in this city. The DEMO
GRAFT is little late in announcing the
fact, but our congratulations are in
earnest just the same.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The annual meeting of the United
Presby terrain Synod will be held at
Ottawa, Kansas, August 1st to Sth.
The Mo. P. r. r. will make ra4e of
one and one-third fare for the round
trip. [. RAsoR, Agt.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

,Adolph Nicolet Of the south side
has just put up new Perkins wind
mill, which he says is the best one in
the county, and that if he had put up
one four years ago he could have been
a thousand dollars better off today.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

If the signs of the times do not
change pretty soon the farmers of this
locality viii be short on roughness the
coming winter. 1t would be a good
plan to keep this in mind and provide
for a shortage.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Editor Hodgedon, of the Rice
county Eagle, populist, was a caller
Monday. He processes to see no diff
ference between the Cleveland and
Harrison administration, and hence
has no use for democrats or democratic
aid.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The democrats held rousing COM
mittee meeting Saturday, when the
windows of the heavens were opened
the next day and a refreshing rain
moistened the earth. Draw your own
inference.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The Mogullians last Tuesday even
ing elected the following officers: Past
Master Mogui, G. III. Smith; Master
Mogul, w. T.. Carr; Senior Mogul, III.
j. Smith; Junior Mogul, John Dur
kin; Cash Grabber, Geo. Crummack;
Quill Driver, f. j. Mattingley; Supe.
q. a. Hooper; Inside Snoozer, Fred
Miller; Outside Snoozer, g. H.
Hume.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
rhe Homlies. ManIn Great BEND

As well as the handsomest. and others
are invited to call on any druggist and
get free trial bottle of Kemp's Bal
sam for the throatand lungs, remedy
that is selling entirely upon its merits
and IS guaranteed to relieve and cure
all chronic and acute coughs, asthma,
bronchitis, and consumption. Large
bottles 90 cents.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

One of the best little farms of $50
acres, in one of the best neigh borhoods
in Barton county can be got for $4,000,
cash. If you have the money call at
this office and get particulars.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The city board of education last
week elected Jonn Lightbody to sue
coed Mr.. Schermerhorn as member of
the board for the 1st ward, and Albert
Allison as member for the district
outside the city, in place of Laferty,
resigned.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

A terrible hot wind swept over this
county from the southwest, last Fri
day. being the most oppressive and
scorching about 4 in the afternoon. 1t
was hard day on Vegetation.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Parties living on or near the line of
the streets, where the electric lights
are. can have electric lights furnished
on application to the Electric Light
Co. Also electric bells, and all kinds
of house bell work done, in this and
adjoining towns.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The days are growing shorter and
the nights longer, now. AS the days
are awfully warm and the nights beau.
tifully cool, the DEMOCRAT will not
register any kick on this new order of
things.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Ebe Ciafiin Banner nominates Dick
Bosse and Press Upper to succeed
themselves on the republican ticket
this fall, but says nothing about Geo.
Spencer. How is this, Oscar? Is
George left off the slate? We knew
the "boss,'' (he of the mouth that is
always open) had it sin for" George,
but we hardly expected you to give
the slate away SO early.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

B. l.. Wilson is this week located
at Marion, Kansas with his Palace
Photo Car, "Antoinette." This office
has shipped Mr.. Wilson IL, 900 adver>
Using bills during the past week.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Col. Thomas Powers, the versatile
editor of the Sterling Champion, was
in the city Monday 20 attend the
peoples party judicial conference. Miss
Stella, his handsome young daughter,
accompanied him, and the DEMOCRAT
editors family were happy to enter
tain them.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

To Denver, Colorado Springs, Man
itou or Pueblo and return, good all
summer, for $40, via the Mo. Pac.
/. RAsOR, Agt.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

We keep farm leases, blank notes,
receipts, contracts, chattle mortgages,
and a full line Of justice of the peace
blanks, at prices that canno! be dupli-
Gated by eastern houses.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Geo. Luttrell has purchased the
Webb & Co. drug business at Hois-
ington and taken possession of the
same
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

No. 6, the morning train on the
Santa Fe, east bound, leaves now al
9:38, and stops at Ellinwood.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

All Rebeckahs, Odd Fellows and
friends and families, who desire to go
in a body to Horse Shoe Bend, Tues
day, will meet at the hall at 8 a. m.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Mrs. Wilson, of Seward township,
Stafford county, left Saturday last for
Monroe, Iowa, to attend the death
bed of her mother.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The Worlds Fair WIZ ha open every
Sunday from now until It's final close.
This information is impaired 10 those
who are still talking about closing it.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

ALI Democrats should read the To-
peka Daily Press. 1t will give you
good value for your money.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Call on this Office for stock liens.
bills of sale, notes, mortgages, justice
of peace blanks, etc.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Send us no more hot winds, Mr..
Weatherclerk. The sample received
has been found too sultry for use in
this locality.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

An announcement of your candi-
dacy for county office, IN the columns
of the DEMOCRAT, would be good
way to bring yourself before the
people. Sabe?
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

The Brotherhood of Locomotive
Firemen gave ball at Hoisington
last Friday evening which was very
largely attended and greatly enjoyed.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Joe Schlim, of near Albert, was
visiting near Ellinwood last week, and
finds wheat in good condition down
there-better than in The west part of
the county. -.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Oh. merchant in thine hour of ee,
If on this paper you should C C,
Take Que advice, and now be wy
Go straightway out and advert Iii,
You'll find the project of some u u u:
Neglect can find no exqqq,
Be wise at once, prolong your d a "a,
A silent business soon d XXX.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

DIR. w. A. Phillips, the Salina eye
and ear surgeon, spent couple of days
in the city last week. He will visit
Great Bend about once every six
weeks.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
WORK EllR Us

a few DAYS and Tou Viii "a startled al the u1eN
pected success that viii reward your efforts We
positively have the best business TO Offer agent
that can be found on the face of this earth.
&45. 90 profit ON = 300 worth of business Is
being easily and hOnorably made by and paid to
-n,ircds of men, women, bows, ana girls in orr
- You can make money faster at work for
Us. IL have anv idea Of The business is
easy to earn and instructions simple and plain,
that all succeed from fiie start Those who take
hold of the business reap the advantage that
arises from the sound reputation of one of the
oldest, most successful. and largest publishing
houses in America Secure for yourself the profits
that the business readily and handsomely yields
All beginners succeed graHdly. and more than
realize their greatest expectations. Those vino
try it find exactly tell them. There Is plenty
of room for a few more workers, and urge
them TO begin al once. If YOU are already n
TO them to advantage, then write at once
flor this is your grand opportunity, and receive
full particulars by return mail Address,
TRUE g. CO, Box No. 400, Augusta, NE.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

Our sincere thanks are hereby ex-
tended to the many kind offices of
friends and neighbors during the long
sickness and death of our beloved wife
and mother.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29
LOCAL COMMENT.
Where will you celebrate?
Try Is cent dinner at Baird's.

Fourth of July next Tuesday.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-06-29

J. A. BLAND AND DAUGHTERS.