davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
For Over Fifty Years

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been
used for over fifty years by millions of
mothers for their children while teethlng,
with perfect success. 1t soothes the child,
softens the gums, allays all pain, cures
wind collie, and Is the best remedy for
Diarrhoea. 1t will relieve the poor little
sufferer Immediately. Sold by Druggists
In every part of the world. Twenty-Five
cents bottle. Be sure and ask for "Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup" and take no
other kind. 1138y1
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
Amimals-Deceivers Ever.


Swindling and deceit are known
among animals. In military sta
bles horses are known to have pre-
tended to be lame in order to avoid
going to military exercise. A CHM
panzee had been fed on cake when
sick; after his recovery he often
feigned coughing in order to pro-
cure dainties. The cuckoo some
times lays it's egg in the sparrow's
nest, and to make the deception
surer it takes away one of the SPAR
rows eggs.
Animals are conscious of their
deceit, as shown by the fact that
they try to operate secretly and
noiselessly; they show sense of
guilt if detected; they take pre-
cautions in advance to avoid discov-
cry; in some cases they manifest
regret and repentance.
Thus, bees which steal often hes
itate before and after their exploits,
as if they feared punishment.
Someone described how monkey
committed theft; while he pretend
ed to sleep the animal regarded
him with hesitation, and stopped
every time his master moved or
seemed on the point of awakening.
Such, and many more well-known
facts, may be due to fear of punish
ment, which naturally follows a
just as observed among
habitual thieves.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
Far and Wide.

Not ON this broad continent alone, but in maiar-
iai breeding tropical regions, in Guatemals, Mex
leo. South America, the Isthmus Of Panama and
elsewhere, Hostetters Stomach Bitters affords to
inhabitants and soiourners protection asainst ma
laria. The miner, the freshly arrived immigrant,
the tier Of the virsin soil newly robbed Of its for
ests by the axe Of the pioneer, and in the superb
antifebrile specific preserver against the poison
Gus miasfna which IN vast districts rich in natural
resources, is yet fertile in disease. IL annihilates
disorders Of the stomach, liver and bowels fortifies
those who use 1t against rheumatic ailments breed
and fostered by outdoor exposure. infuses general
ture, and robs Of their power TO harm morning and
evening mists and vapor laden with hurtfuness;
strengthens the weak and conquers incipient kid
ney trouble.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
Jas. Boss
Filled
Watch Cases

are all gold as far ms you can see. They look
like solid cases, wear like solid cases, and
are solid for all practical purposes-yet
only cost about half as much as an out.
and-out solid gold case. Warranted 20
wear for 40 years; many in constant use
for thirty years. Better than ever since they
are now fitted, at no extra cost. with the great
bow (ring) which eannot be pulled or f70iifed
off the case--tha
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
IL Is Strange

That people suffering from Piles will
endure them for years or submit to dan
gerous. painful. cruel and expensive
surgical operations. when all the time
there Is q painless, certain, lasting cure,
which gives instant relief and costs but a
trife 1t is called the Pyramid Pile Cure
and can be found at all drug stores. Any
druggist will get it for you if you ask
him
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
A SURGICAL Operatlop.

For the cure of Piles is always painful,
ften dangerous aud useless. and invari-
bly, expensive; on the other hand there is
new, certain cure, perfectly painless,
ives instant relief and permanent cure
md costs but trihe. 1t Is the Pyramid
Pile Cure. 1t is moro certain cure than
4 surgical operation, without any of the
intense pain, expense and danger Of an
operation. Any druggist will get 1t for
you.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

"Great Scott" he walled, as the
street organ man grabbed the tune
producer, "there's another crank
turned loose" Washington Star.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

We shouldn't object so much to
the man who knows it all if he
weren't always SO ready to tell us
all about it.-Somerville Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Prisoner-"I beg you, judge, not
to condemn me-not on my account,
but so as not to injure the prospects
of my counsel" Fliegende Blatter.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
MICHIGAN CENTRAL
"Ths Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

sDaiiy. All other trains Daily except Sunday
Parior car on day trains aud sleeping cars ON
night trains go, A.
fhe direct line 10 NIAGARA Falls, Bun'io, New
York Boston, Detroit, Toledo, Chicago, and all
points 10 the United states and CANADA. 49,.
and Canada.
J. WHITING, Ticket Agent.
o.w. RUGGLEs. o. p. T. Agt.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

After all, it is the condition of
trade that regulates fashions. Near
ly all kinds of garments are worn
longer in dull times than in prosper
Gus ones.-Boston Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Diamonds are said to be bad form
in the morning. Still we have
known a chap with five diamonds to
be envied by everyone else at the
table quite early in the morning.
Boston Bulletin.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

When the autumn winds grow chilly
And when vegetation dies,
There is one great satisfaction
We get even with the flies.
Kansas CITY Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Fond parent-"I cannot inter-
fere, Bobby; your teacher writes
me that she thrashed you on prin-
clple." Bobby-"Well, she didn't.
Don't you think know where she
licked me?"-Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

young Slurger used to be quite
a hand at drawing before he went
to college" He is yet" "What
does he draw on most, architecture
al plans?" "Nope; on his father" "
Buffalo Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

"The last thing Fred did was to
kiss me-" ~ should think it would
bev-Life.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Judge-"Why, didn't you call a
policeman when the man assaulted
you with a club?" Citizen-"Call a
policeman! Good heavens! your
honor, wasn't l thumped enough as
it P"-New York Herald.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
The Sagacious Porter--Palace

The Sagacious Porter--Palace car
porter (out west)-"Don't CUB me
no fee, sab, till we gets to de end
OBJ de trip" Passenger-"very
well. Just as you prefer" Porter
-"Yes, sab. You see, desc train
robbers always goes for me fust,
an eff | amt got muffin dey say de
passengers amt got muffin an goes
off."-New York Weekly.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

"The Anger is a sharp fellow" ="
said the hammer to the Saw, ''but
heruns around a good deal" "Yes;"
replied the Saw slowly, between
his teeth, "and what an awful bore
he is!-Vogue.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

He (in Chicago)-"So your name
is DaisyP" She-"Yes, Papa
named me after his famous brand
of HAMS
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Mrs. Cumo (holding up the art
icle admiringly Isn't it duck of
a bonnet? Mr.. Cumo-It's more
like pelican of a bonnet. Mrs.
C.--What do you mean, dearP Mr..
C.-The bill is too big for a duck.
Truth.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

triumph Of Scientific Medicine.
Nothing has ever been produced to
equal or compare with it as CURATIVE
and HEALING APPLICATION. 1t has been
used 40 years and always affords relief
and always gives satisfaction.
Cures PILES or HRMoRRHoIDs External
or Internal, Blind or distinguishing and
Burning; Cracks or Fissures; Fistula in Ano;
Worms Of the Rectum. The relief is imme.
diate-the cure certain
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
He sat some minutes thinking,
And then he softly spoke:
"When man is bent on drinking,
He'll end by being broke"
New York Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Professor-"Jobnsin my boy, art
thou enticing one of the finny tribe
to engulf into his denticulated
mouth the barbed hook, on whose
treacherousp points applied the dain-
ty allurement?" Johnsin-"No,
sab; I'm fshin'."-New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

"See here" said the man who
had married widow, "hasn't your
hair turned gray rather suddenly
since we were wed?" "Oh," said
she, "that's from fright. ! was so
scared when you proposed to me,
don't you know" indianapolis
Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Beautiful" answered the fair
Pittsburg girl when asked whether
the Worlds Fair was attractive.
Beautiful? Well, l should just
say it is. The buildings look as
though they were carved out of
solid ice cream. Chicago Record
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

"Please ma'an,," SAID the boy,
cant you help meP / have wife
and three children" "Youp Why,
you're not old enough to be mar
ried." mo, but my father is. It's
his wife and three children that |
has to support. ."--Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Mistress-"Do you mean to tell
me, Bridget, that you let baby eat
seven bananas?" Bridget-"An'
sure, ma'am, didn't yez tell me, the
last thing, goin' out, to moind the
baby, an sure he ordered the whole
siven. ."-Harper's Young People.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15

Extract from a new novel
"Stand where you are, Reginald
de Coursey! Advance one step
nearer and | will tell you what |
saw at the worlds fairr' Fooled
again. Kissed the villain, as he
faded from view.--Philadelphia Re-
cord.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-11-15
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R.

Mail and Accom- Nail and Accom-
Express mediation, Express. modation.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
Trenching Tool Attached TO Rifle.

The "ride-trenching tool Of NJ. dc
Layen, which was recently tried at the
Armory House Parade Ground, Fins.
bury, and is expected Sin one sense to
revolutionize the warfare of the fu-
ture," consists essentially of an ar
rsngement by which spade or such
like tool can he fixed to the butt of
rifle without preventing the weapon
from being ready for use either with
shot or bayonet To this end there is
q receptacle in the butt, and the spade
fits into it with spring catch. OF
course, the stock and barrel of the rifle
become the hnndle of the spade.
1t is claimed for this appliance that
it will enable every infantry soldier to
be his own sapper and rihe-pit maker,
and the tool wagon will become un.
necessary. Moreover, if there is no
time to fix the bayouet the spade itself
will he mGkeshift, and when not in
use it can he carried in leather case.
slung across the chest of the soldier,
thus balancing the weight his haver-
sack and forming II breastplate against
sword, bayonet, or lance. and possibly
bullets. NJ. de Layen, we may add,
is n Frenchman, married to an English
woman, and settled in this country. -
London Globe
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
WaltZing Mice.

Lately the employees at the Phila.
delphia Geological Garden have been
amused by the antics of some queer
little animals which are not on public
exhibition, says the Inquirer. The
newcomers are black and white jap
anese waltzing mice, seven in number
When let out of their cages they wink
at each other and step gracefully for
ward with movement which some of
the beholders declare is a bow. Head
Keeper Manley whistles "Annie
Rooney" and the mice skip away in
pairs with queer whirling motion.
When he strikes up "The Bowery"
they revolve so fast that nothing can
be seen but little gray balls. eta. ra-
ra-boom-de-ay" causes them to "swing
corners" and dance "all hands
around. :" Once the owner ventured
to play the "Dead March" while they
were dancing. With n whisk of their
tails the little rodents fed to their
cages, like man pursued by night
mare.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
A Tame Chick Loon.

'Last fall, when my chum and
were in the Maine woods,' says a
sportsman, eve captured a chick
loon. The old birds flew away as we
went out with our boat, leaving the
chick to take care of itself. 1t couldn't
fly, SO it tried get away by diving,
but by chasing it about here and there
we tired it out and at length pulled it
into the boat. The little fellow lust
squatted down and took life easy. We
stroked its back and talked to it, and
then told each other what fools we
had been for capturing it, and put it
back into the water. Well, sir, that
loon followed us as if we had been its
parents, and wanted to come into the
boat again. If we had known what to
feed it we would have kept it, but we
didn't, and we left it at the further
end of the lake. We heard the old
birds before night, so 1 guess it was
taken care of. From that experience
am sure you can tame looms. New
York Recorder.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
The Population of the Earth,

In an appendix to "Petermann's
Mittheilungen," just issued, there
are complete statistics of the popula-
tion of the car tn, in which table OF
the great cities with mo than l00,-
600 inhabitantO is of great interest.
or such cities England has thirty,
Germany twenty-four, France and
Russia each twelve, Ita'y ten, Aus
tria- Hungary six, Spain five, Bel
GUM, the Scandinavian States,
Noumania and the Balkan Islands
each four, the Netherlands three,
Portugal two; the total in Europe
being l16 great cities. Asia has l05.
China having fifty-three and British
India thirty. In Africa there are
seven, in America forty, of which
the United States have twenty-six,
South America nine. Australia has
only two large cities.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04

"John," exclaimed the nervous
woman. "There's burglar in the
house. I'm sure of it.
John rubbed his eyes, and protested
mildly that it was imagination.
"No it isn't. l heard a man down
stairs"
So John took box of matches and
went down. To his surprise his wife'a
suspicious were correct. Seeing that
he was unarmed, the burglar covered
him with revolver and became quite
sociable.
'1sn't it rather late to be out of
bed?" he remarked
"A-er-a-little bit" replied John.
"You're too late, anyhow, because
I've dropped everything out of the
window, and my pals have carried it
Off"
"Oh, that's all right. I'd like to
ask one favor of you, though"
'What is it? ?"
"Stay here until my wife can come
down and see you. She has been
looking for you every night for the
last twelve years, and don't want her
to be disappointed any longer. -
Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
Wallapai Charley.

can all-round no good" is what the
Arizonans say of Wallapai Charley,
and his own copper skinned tribes
men, in compliment to his duplicity,
say, ''nis tongue is forked." This
chief of the Wallapai Apaches re-
Gently wrote a touching letter to
President Cleveland telling the woes
OF his tribe and asking for rations.
One of the business methods of this
astute and pre-eminently lazy Indian
is the precise line followed by Dickens's
Noah Claypole and his faithful Char
lotte. 1t is to persuade stranger
Ignorant of the law to buy whisky for
him and then have his benefactor ar
rested for giving whisky to all Indian.
His own experience of the law in
eiudes a soiourn at Yuma Penitentiarv,
and in various Indian troubles of the
past he has the reputation of having
impartlally betrayed both the whites
and his own people. Detroit Free
Press.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
NfuitnomRh Falls.

The Columbia River, having It's
head waters in British Columbia and
flowing for long distance between
Oregon and Wa 'hington, Is one of the
most teautiful and charmingly pic.
turesque rivers in the world. The
Dalles of Columbia, where the river
narrows, are world famous and over
terraces OF stone the waters flow in
succession of cascades. OF the nu.
merous falls that lend picturesque.
ness to the great river the most beau.
tiful is Multnomah Falls, Oregon.
Heie the waters fall, like a strip of
spray, distance of 500 feet.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
A PRUDENT MAID.

Henry" she began, in sweetly
timorous voice, "what's all this talk
about gold and silver?"
Henry. who read the papers, and
was about as thoroughly ignorant on
the subject as everybody else, plunged
In bravely, but she stopped him.
81 don't want to know that" she
faltered "but is gold getting 80 awful
scarce?"
"Awfal scarce" echoed Henry, dis
mally.
"And is it all being taken away?"
''lt is, said Henry.
"And if they continue to take it
away, there won't be any left in this
country by-and-by, and well have to
use silver?"
"Yes," sighed Henry.
Henry" she whispered, '1 told
you that would give you my decis-
ion in the winter-but 1 repent. 1t -
it is Yves, Henry. Don't--don't
you think" she continued, after a
moments silence, "that it would be
well to get the ring now, before all
the gold is taken away ?"-Harper's
Bazaar. =
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04

Interesting french Investigations
In a communication to the Societe
Medicate du Nile ACCOMPLISHMENT de
Paris, DIR. Rosenblith shows that Ell,
fusions of blood in sprains are very
rapidly reabsorbed by massage. In
practice the injured articulation is a,
tlrst immersed in very warm water in
order to dilate the superficial vessels,
after which PREPARATION Of the af
fected region massage is performed
outside of the injured part; 1t is then
gradually approached, very gentl,
stroke being applied to it at first
followed by more vigorous friction,
thus gradually producing insensibl.
ity. When partially obtained a moIo
Or less energetic kneadirg Is pursued,
according to the vary ny degree o,
'ensibility experienced by the pa
tient and to the massage part is
finally apDl ed compressive band
age, with waduing, which is wrapped
in nanel or linen band. If tho
strain occurs In the inferior limbs Dr.
enhlith-contrary to the ordinar.
lily commended practice of avoiding
movements for shorter or Ion ,ei
period-ad vises the patient to walk
Is soon as he can do 80 without feel.
ing great pain. Walking, he says,
adapts the auricular surface in a nat.
ural way and actuates the venal and
Emphatic circulations by the mus
;ular contraction,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
IN THE HANDS OF HIS FRIENDS.

81 assure you, gentlemen, said a
convict entering the prison, ''the place
has sought me and not / the place.
My own affairs really demand all my
time and attention and 1 may truly say
that my selection to fill this position
was an entire surprise. Had l con.
suited my own interests should have
peremptorily declined to serve, but as
l am in the hands of my friends l sec
no other course but to submit"
And he submitted. New York Mer.
curry.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04

With local applications, as they cannot reach
the seat of the disease. Catarrh is a blood or
constitutional disease, and in order to cure
1t you must take internal remedies Halls
rectly on the blood and mucous surface Halls
Catarrh Cure is not quack medicine. ID was
prescribed by one of the best physicians In this
country for years, and is regular prescription.
It is compose of the best tonics known, COM
bined with the best blood purifiers, acting di-
rectly on the mucous surfacts. The perfect
combination of the two Ingredients Is what
produces such wonderful results In curing ca
tarrh. Send for testimonials FREQ.
F. J. CHENEY & Co., Props, Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
OFFENDED sENsIBILITIEs.

Certainly" said the farmers wife
to Meandering Mike, "Ill give you
your breakfast
"Thank you, ma'am, fur ever an
ever"
Suppose, she went on with n
glance at the wood pile, "that you
start in with chop"
And he turned haughtily away with
a remark to the effect that nothing was
SO offensive to man of taste as un un-
timely and unseemly jest.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
But It's Her Bright Side.

The inhabitants Of this earth have
never seen but one side of the moon.
The explanation is this: The moon
makes one revo ution on her axis In
the same Ieriod Of time that she
takes up in revolving once around the
earth, thus the same geographical
'egion OF the lunar surface Is al
ways toward lis.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.

"Say," said the regular customer of
the side street restaurant as he stopped
at the desk to pay his check, "where
did you get that beef you are serving
to-day?"
"What's the matter with ?" ag-
gressively asked the cashier, who
scented another kick.
"There's nothing the matter with
it; that's why l asked. Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
The Gondolas Must Go.

Fair Venice Is in danger of losing
a feature which has become world
famous and to which mauy a romance
may be traced-to wit, the gondolas
and gay costumed gondoliers. In the
place of the former feet OF Ameri.
can electric launches will ply Vene.
tian canals, and instead of the gon-
doliers American engineers will guide
these new tangled boats.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
THE BOOK THAT HELPED HIM.

"Would you oblige me-" said the
reporter who gets novel interviews,
"by telling me what book has helped
you most in life?"
And after thoughtful pause the
great man answered:
''My bank book. Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
REASsURING HER,

She was little bit afraid of the big
waves, but the presence of her big
cousin from the country reassured her
a good deal.
"Now," she said, elf I get fright
ened shall make vociferous appeal
for assistance"
"No," he said, heartily, "don't do
that. Jest you holler fur help, an
I'll be on hand. Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
THE PARTY ABASHED.

Fanning-"So you went out to con-
gratulate your old chum on being a
father, did you?"
Channing-"Yes."
Fanning-"I suppose Thompson
looked like fool when you did it.
Channing-'No. He was very dig
nifed-er-but the baby looked aw-
fully sheepish. Judge.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
NO TIME TO LOSE.

Plankington-"Come out to dinner
with me tonight, old man. We've got
a new cook.
Won Blumer Don't believe I can
tonight. Won't tomorrow do?"
Plankington-"Oh, no. She leaves
to- m orrow. Life.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1893-12-04
The Lime-Kiln Cub,

"Ar' Brudder Lightfoot in de hall
dis evenin'?" asked the President as he
looked anxiously around.
Eyes, sah," answered the brother a.
he hobbed up with energy and dis
patch.
please step dis way, sab. Bruddel
Lightfoot, understands dat you has
lately been calm yoself purfessor
"Yes, sab. i plays on de fiddle"
"Oh, dat's it? You has also been
wearin' mighty high collars"
"Yes, sah."
SCOT good clothes? ?"
"Yes, sah."
"Talkin' bout rentin' q box in dc
pos offs, harp"
"Yes, sah."
"An' you is smokin' reg'lar cigars ?"
"Y-yes, sah."
"Ar' dat dimun pin you has on?"
"N-not quite, sah."
"Am' dat watch chain all gold?"
"Nnot all, sah."
"Now, Brudder Lightfoot, look "A.
yere. You is behind in your rent, head
ober heels in debt, an your chill'en
hain't got shoes to go to school. hear
of you loafin' bout saloons an standing
on de co'ners. I'm gwine to gin you
iist one week to drap dat purfessor biz
ness an hunt fur a job. If you do it,
well and good. If you doan' do it, dis
club kin dispense wid your presence. A
purfcssor ar all right when he purfes-
ses, but purfessor who saws a fiddle
fur beer while his wife rubs a wash
board fur grub am about de moas'
onery critter on airth, De meetin am
now disjourned. ."-DetrOH Free FreSs.