davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
A NEW YORKER.
He Was the Simon Pure Article and Mighty
Particular.

He Was the Simon Pure Article ana mighty
Particular.
"From New York, eh?" queried an old
farmer down in New Jersey town where
a railroad accident detained me week before
last several hours.
"Yes, from New York." replied.
"Waal, you've got GURUS lot o. critters
up thar"
what do you mean"
'Too blamed pertickler for anythin! It's
a wonder you don't want different air
from what we breathe down hereW
Have you had New Yorker down
hereS"
II hev, and if he's sample of your cror
never want to see another. He was drivin
across from Vineland and broke down and
staid with me over night Begun to put
on airs the very fust thing. Thought he
was too awfully nice to wash himself in the
basin and wipe on the kitchen towel with
the hired man and the rest of us. He
wouldn't eat no fried pork for supper, and
he jest tasted the other things and showed
back and said he was tired"
"Yes?'
1--WE tried to make him feel to hum in
the evenin, but he was as contrary as a
mule One of the naybur's gals cum in
and sung seven gospel hymns while my
own gal played the organ, but he didn't
seem to know what music was. l offered
to play him game of checkers, but he
didn't thank me fur it. Jest carried him
self as if he was the salt of the airth and we
was dirt. The gals wanted to make some
'lasses candy, but he turned up his nose
and said he never eat it."
''Sure he was New Yorker?"
"Oh, yes We found that out fur sure.
When he cum to go to bed, he pulled off
the feather bed and throwed one of the pill
lars on the floor When he got up, he
kicked cause he didn't have water and
towels in his room. We give him the best
ha'rbrush in the house. but the blamed
critter never used it! We borrowed the
hired mans comb fur him, but he jest
looked at it and laid it down. The old wom-
an bumped herself to git nice breakfast,
but he didn't appreciate it. You could see
what his bringing up was from the way he
acted. He happened to git a fork with
only one tine to it, and he asked the hired
girl right out to change it for himl Even
our preacher wouldn't hev done that When
asked the blessing at the table, 1 had my
eyes ClOSeu auu COulQuU SEE ulill, Dub uue
hired man will sw' ar that he sort O. grinned
all the time"
II think he must have come from Brook
lyn."
mo, he was New Yorker straight huff.
and guess a fair sample of the rest Of you,
from what I've heard. When he cum to go
and charged him 50 for meals and lodg
ms, he flung the money down on the table
and went off mad. Why, them seven gos-
pei hymns was with 5000, to say nuthin of
two meals and bedP'
From his actions should say that he
was from Jersey City. In fact, know a
man over there who"-
"You needn't try to sneak out O. it,
stranger" he interrupted HE was one O.
you New Workers who think you own the
airth and part of Mexico, and I'm tellin
you that if this train has to stay here fur a
month i wouldn't take ne o. you home
with me short O So day. Even then you'd
hev to sign paper that you wouldn't turn
up your nose at saleratus biscuits or kick
al 'tatcrs viii, their hides onl"-New York
Mercury.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
HE TALKED TOO MUCH.
The Story OF a Little Chap Who Wanted
Get Aboard,

The Story ola Little Chap Who Wanted to
Get Aboard.
ut amt no sign of bravery ter abuse
folks over a high fence or from t'other side
the river said the captain, fitting the key
On which he was sitting so that his back
might rest against the fish house. His COM
panion sat by mending his nets. snow
when was quite a lad," he went on, Il
he'd an experience that showed me what I'M
common poor policy it is to be too funny
even at distance"
How was that"
well, was put in alternate cap'n on
one OF them steamers that runs in French
mans bay, an bein young an tolerable sue
cessful l got to thinkin l knowed pretty
much the whole of it.
"One day we was layin at the wharf load
in the freight on an see little man walk
in up an down waitin ter go aboard. He
was pompous lookin individual, an fol-
lerin an hangin on his words was two or
three men that seemed ter consider what
he said as golden speech.
II kept thinkin that l wished it would
come time ter start when he was way up
tother end of the wharf, an sure enough,
just as he got much as a rod away it was
time ter pull out.
u pulled the whistle an waited full time,
but he turned round mighty moderate an
come toward the plank. The men COM
menced ter haul it on, an we fell back from
the wharf. Then he broke into run an
waved his hat an shouted
when we was clear of everything hol-
Tered back, Hurry up, little chap, or you'll
hev ter walk!' an lot of sech talk, when !
got signal from the cap'n that was long
side ter put back, an findin somethin un.
usual was up he'd to.
1.-THE men lowered the plank, an the little
man walked on board an come right up ter
the pilothouse an passed me his card.
HE was the owner of the whole line OF
steamers, an he says very slow an kind:
'Speakin of walkin, p'r'aps you'd better go
ashore now fore they draw the plank in.
We shan't need you on this trip"
"What did you do?"
do? Why, went of course, an my as
sstant run the trip. The matter was fixed
up, but when I makea joke now take keer
it's one that amt comm home ter roost."-
Youths Companion.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Heidi you tell her would be thers
bright and earlyl
She-I told her you would be there early
life
just the Name.

Some years ago Rochester clergyman in
baptizing baby paused in the middle Of
the service to inquire the name Of the in
FAINT, to which the mother, with profound
courtesy, replied:
Shady, sir, if you please"
"ShadyS' replied the minister "Then
it's boy, and you mean Shadrach, chr"
mo, please, your reverence, it's girl"
2"And pray" asked the inquisitive pastor,
"how happened you to call the child by
such a name?"
well, sir" responded the woman, III
you must know, our name is Bower, and
my husband said as how he should like her
to be called Shady, because Shady Bower
sounds SO pretty. "-Quips.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
i = }

THE M0sT STUBBORN
Skin and Scalp Diseases, the
worst forms Of Scrofula, all
blood taints and poisons Of
every name and nature, are
utterly rooted out by DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery. For every disease
caused by a torpid liver or
impure blood, it is the only
remedy SO certain and effec-
tive that it can be guaranteed.
If it fails to benefit or cure,
you have your money back.
Eczema, letter, Salt-rheum,
Erysipelas, Boils, Carbuncles,
Enlarged Glands, Tumors, and
Swellings, and every kindred
ailment, are completely and
permanently cured by it.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Worth Knowing.

That Allcock's Porous Plasters are the
highest result of medical science and skill,
and in Ingredients and method have never
been equaled.
That they are the original and genuine
porous plasters, upon whose reputation
imitators trade.
That Allcock's Porous Plasters never
fail to perform their remedial work
quickly and effectually.
That this fact is attested by thousands
of voluntary and unimpeachable testi-
monials from grateful patients.
That for rheumatism, weak back, sci
attic, lung trouble, kidney disease, dys-
pepsia, malaria, and all local pains, they
are invaluable.
That when you buy Allcock's Porous
Plasters you absolutely obtain the best
plasters made
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
A Girl,s LUNCHEON.

took four girls to lunch one day,
May and Jane, sweet Bessie and Kate.
The garcon menus gave to US,
And then he had to stand and wait.
"Just order what you like" said,
For we were out to have time.
They read the menu through and through.
This is their order set to rhyme.
"0h, anything will do" said Jane,
"And will take the same," chimed May.
ut really matters not, said Kate,
And then sweet Bessie had her say.
"Pray, leave it not to me-" she cried,
For can eat most everything"
And then she laughed silly laugh,
And with her napkin cleaned her ring.
The waiter now impatient grew,
Much anger in his eyes did CLEAN,
But in another hour or so
They all decided on ice cream.
--Pittsburg Dispatch.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
The Noble Art Of Self Defense" Set
Forth by an Authority.

Self defense instructive. Persons who
find themselves afflicted with heart dis
ease as manifested by its many symp-
toms, palpitation short breath, irregular
pulse, pain in side or shoulder, smothe:
ing, fainting or dropsy, ETC., naturally
desire a defense against what may term
mate fatally. For the express purpose
no remedy has ever approached DR..
Miles New Heart Cure, sold by A. G. Ire
lard jr., on guarantee. Mrs. O. F. Per-
kins, of Northwood, Ia, says, DR.. Miles
New Heart Cure, saved her life. She suf-
fered from palpitation and heart would
frequently beat as high as 1876 minute.
Was rot expected to live. Was mere
skeleton, no relief from physicians.
New Heart Cure cured her.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
safety Guaranteed.

Timid Lady (about to buy ticket to
Europe) -And is the boat that sails Thurs
day perfectly safe?
Agent for the Ocean Greyhound Com
pany (gravely)--Madame, can assure
you that in all the time this ship has been
in service, and that time covers number
of years, madame, not one has she gone
to the bottom.
Timid Lady (reassured)-Oh, then it
must be all right. Let me have an out
side room please.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
A Shopping Exploit.

"Doyou think it will fadeS" she asked
anxiously as she chewed q mouthful of the
goods.
Nom, Pm sure it won't"
''Nor shrink ia the washing?n
''No'm. These are linen threads"
"How wide did you say it was?"
''Forty-two inches, ma'am."
That isn't extra wide"
SIT isn't made any wider"
"Are you sure it will wear well?"
Certainly, ma'am-like cast IRON"
"And won't fade nor shrink"
"Not the least BIT ma'am."
"Do you change goods in this storeS"
''Not after they are cut, ma'am."
!'Then won't trade here! l won't pat.
ronize store where they're not more ac'
commodating, and she walked away, leav-
ing the clerk wreck behind her.-Detroit
Free Press.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

The cry of misfortune is never heard
without a responsive throb of sympathy
from those who hear it. Thousands who
have had la grippe, which left them with
that constant tired, worn-out feeling,
sleeplessness, dull headache, depression,
hysteria, ETC., have often prayed for relic,
and are obtaining it from DR.. Miles Res
torative Nervine. M. Lew Enyart, Macy,
Ind, says: "Your Nervine has cured me
of prostration; it is just what your ad-
vertisement said it was" 1.-TWO bottles
of Nervine cured me'of sick headache"
-Chas. WILDER Palmyra, N. Y. Sold on a
guarantee by A. G. Ireland. jr., Call for
the Doctors book, "New and Startling
Facts" free
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

The srccess of Mrs. Annie M. Beam, of
McKeespo,t, Pennsylvania, in the treat
n ent of diarrhea in her children will I'M
doubtedly be Of interest to many moShers.
She says: II spent several weeks in
JIG own, Pa, after the great flood, on
acco Mt of my husband being employed
there. We had several children with US,
two OF whom took the diarrh@a very
badly. l got some of Chamberla'1's
Collie, Cholera a, Diarrhoa Remedy from
Re7. Mr.. Chapman. 1t cured both of
them. l know of several other cases
where it was equally successful. think
it can not be excelled and cheerfully
recommend it," 25 and so cent bottles
for sale by A, C. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Governor Russell's little son Eustis sur
prised his mother one morning short time
ago by exclaiming, Mamma, I want a
dark breakfast" Mrs. Russell was at a
loss to know what he meant and demanded
an explanation. WELL" replied the young
hopeful, last night you told Mary to give
me light supper, and I didn't like it.
Now, mamma please do let me have dark
breakfast. Boston Globe.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Mr.. H. j. Mayors, of Oakland, Nd,
saws: II have sold thirteen bottles OF
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to-day and
am literally sold out. This is the largest
sale on record of any one preparation in
a day over our counters. 1t gives the
best satisfaction of any cough medicine
we handle, and as a seller it leads all
other preparations on this market" For
sale by A. G. ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

WORLDS How to economize time
FAIR. and money as to see
the Worlds fair to best advantage, is
question that may have puzzled you.
Avoid mistakes by getting posted in adj
vance. Perhaps the illustrated folder
just issued by Santa Fe route is what you
need. It contains views of Worlds fair
buildings, accurate map Of Chicago, and
other information of value to sight-seers.
G. T. NICHOLSON, G. p. & 7. A., A., Z. rs.
F. R. R., Topeka, Kas., SANTA FE
and ask for free copy. ROUTE.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
star OF the South.

Go to velasco for health, sea air, and
comfort; where ships too deep for all
other Texas ports sail in and out with
ease; where fruits ripen earlier and pay
better than in California, where the soil
is o natural hot-bed. Fresh vegetables
all winter. Coolest day in three years rs
degrees above zero. Warmest day 80 de
grees. Velasco offers the best invest
ments in the south. Write the CONNER
cial club, velasoo Texas.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

For lame back or pain in the side
or chest, try saturating piece of flannel
with Chamberlain's Pain Balm and bind
ing it onto the affected parts. This
treatment will cure ony ordinary case in
one or two days. Pain Balm also cures
rheumatism. rs and so cent bottles for
sale by A. G. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
KEY TO THE ABOVE.

First train leaves Santa Fe at Sis p. m,
connects with No. 3 west bound, returning
at 1925 p. M.
Second train leaves Santa Fe 9:05 p. M,
connects with No. 2 east bound and returns
at lao p. m.
Third train leaves Santa Fe at LAS p. M,
connects with No. west bound, returning
at 1876 a. m.
Fourth train leaves Santa al Fe TAO am,
connects with No. 4 east bound returning
at 9:45 a. m.
Nos. and 2 are the northern California
and Ell Paso trains.
Nos. and are the southern California
trains.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
MOnOpolixsng the Fun.

OFeaney-Have you hear-rd of the
brisk time they do be havin' in the house
av commons?
Riarty--I have, so l have. And now l
know right well why them selfish tories
don't want ireland to have parlyment
of her own.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

To every sufferer from Catarrh,
no matter how bad the case or Of
how long standing, the proprietors
of DR.. Sage's Catarrh Remedy
say this: eff we can't cure it,
perfectly and permanently, we'll
pay you $500 in cash." Sold by
oil druggists.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
AT THE GATEWAY OF THE NATIONAL PARK.

Worlds Only santarium-staStica Information Tor
and Health Seeker.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
A Proper Young Man.

DECENTRALIZATION man, the time has
come when must demand an explanation
Why do you pay such attention to my
daughter without asking my approval?
Young Mani thought it would be
cheeky, you see, to ask your approval when
we've been secretly married year.-Life.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Poor Little Thing.

What's the matter, Mollyf asked Col.
Yerger of his little 6-year old daughter.
Pa, my hooking bird is dead.
Well, never mind, Molly, I'll buy you
smother one.
am calm enough now, but when saw
that poor little dead bird could have
cried like a child, said Molly.-Texas
Siftings.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
How Whey Learn to Eat Grass.

Little Dot-I don't see how COWS can
eat grass.
Little Dick-Is'pose when they young
tire mother cow keeps sayin' to their chill
ems. If you don't eat grass you shan't
hSye any pie. Coed News.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Mr. Croaker-And does the Rev. DR..
Sweetmouth believe in practicing what
he breaches? Mrs. Gadby-Yes, surely.
I've ever heard that he practices it before
looking glass; Scribner's Magazine.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

ALI through trains equipped with Pullman Palace
and Tourist Sleeping Cars
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Excuse Ready.

Employer-You are late again, Mr.. Tar
dee. That makes twice this week. Last
time you had the grip. Now the grip
won't work this morning.
Mr.. Tardee-No. sir, the grip wouldn't
work this morning. / took a broadway
car and the cable broke.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Plant ola LOOser.

My friend beware of proverbs,
The sportsman sadly sighed,
For failure is the sad result
With most that I have tried.
That money makes the mare 60
I've often heard, and yet
It seems to work the other way
With money that I bet.
Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
A Good Plan.

1T would be to Chicago's interest to chip
in and have New York's streets cleaned"
why so?"
"Visitors to the fair from foreign coun-
tries won't be able to get to Chicago.
They'll get stuck in the mud in New
York. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
The Daily New Mexican
SHOOTING STARS.
AIlnrse- Power Churn.

Mrs. Backwoods-I don't want to buy
any city butter and haven't any churn.
What in goodness name am l going to do?
Mrs. Townlife Put can of fresh milk
on an Adams street carette for half an
hour
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Fifty-sIx Hours to New York via
The wabash.

Leave Denver, Pueblo and Colorado
Springs, Monday evening; arrive Kansas
City, Tuesday, p. M; arrive Toledo
(Wabash Short Line), Wednesday, 4:30 P.
M; leave Toledo lake Shore Flyer,
Wednesday, p. M; arrive New York IN.
Y. Central), Thursday, II a. m.
Avoid the rush and crowd at Chicago.
G. M. HAMpsoN, Coml Agent,
1924 18th st., Denver, Colo.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Miles, Nerve 4 Liver Pills.

MICE NtTVC ~ HI :,
Act on new principle-regulating tho
liver, stomach and bowels through the
nerves: A new discovery. DR.. Miles
pills speedy cure billiousness, bad tases
torpid liver, piles, constipation. I'm,
ca ualed for mon, woman, children. Small
est mildest, surest, so doses 25 cts. Sam
pies Free. at A. G. Ireland, jr.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
He Couldn't say.

Bobby-Pa asked me if you were kiss
ing sis when peeped in the parlor while
ago.
Young Man-What did you sayf
Bobby-I told him Icouldn't see in the
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Y. hat They Are For.

Teacher-What are marsuplals?
Boy-Animals which have pouches il
their stomachs.
"And what they have pouches for?"
'To crawl into and conceal themselye.
when they are pursued. "-Figaro.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Mrs Bingo-What does a silent partner
mean, dear?
Bingo-That's term, my love, that !
don't think it would be possible to explain
to you.-Detroit Free Press.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
The Trouble.

"Matson must be very happy man; his
wife dresses so plainly"
Eyes; but her temper is ruffled most OF
the time. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Very Moving.

Wasn't that moving sermon on do
nestle charities by DR.. Monthly"
Eyes, indeed. Old Skynfynt actually
dropped tear in the plate"-Harvard
LAmnoon
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Working q Husband.

Who is that with you, Polly? Mr.. Chyn-
ming, the greatest bore on the island.
Then why are you with him SO much?
Because it will be sure to get to my hus-
bands ears and bring him here. It's the
only way l can make him take a vacation.
-Life's Calendar.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

De Wits Witch Hazel SaIve cures piles.
De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures burns.
De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures sores.
De Wits Witch Hazel Salve cures ulcers.
New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Our word describes it-"perfection."
We refer to De Wits Witch Hazel Salve,
cures obstinate sores, burns, skin diseases
and is a we'll known cure for piles. New
Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Little vegetable health producers: De
Wits Little Early Risers cure malarious
disorders and regulate the stomach and
bowels, which prevents headache and
dizziness. New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

We could not improve the quality if
paid doable the price. De Wits Witch
Hazel 6alve is the best Salve thet ex-
pe-ience can produce, or that money can
buy. New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

She (after the service)-What makes you
think my feet are so small?
Hell noticed while we were in church
that you seemed to have no trouble in get
ting them into my silk hat.-Vogue.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Ignorance of the merits of De Wits
Little Early Risers is misfortune. These
little pills regulate the liver, cure head
ache, dyspepsia, bad breath, constipation
and billiousness. New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

All that honesty, experience and skill
can do to produce a perfect pill, has been
employed in making DeWitt's Little Early
Risers. The result is specific fot sick
herdache, biliousness and constipation.
New Mexico Drug Store.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Fully Competent.

Fortune Teller-Let me read your for
tune, lady. can find out your future hus.
band.
LADY, already have husband.
Fortune Teller-If you'd like to have him
found out, can do that too. indianapolis
Journal.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

If you can afford to be annoyed by sick
headache and constipation, don't use De
Wits Little Risers, for these little pills
will cure them. New Mexico Drug sttcre
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
In a Measure Prepared.

Maude-I don't see how men can bear
it to watch a prize fight.
Ellen-Oh, I don't know. I've seen a
session of the board of lady managers.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
Too Late.

Minister Ito small boy)-Sonny, do you
chew tobacco?
Small Boy-Sorry, mister; I just put
the last in my mouth.-Texas Siftlngs'
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Mrs. R.-Why, Mr. H.. isn't that Miss M.s
Mr.. H. THAT was her name, I believe.
Mrs. R.-Ah, she's married, thenl And
pray do tell me what narrow Drained, sim
pering idiot could have married her?
Mr.. H.-You refer to the minister who
performed the ceremony, presume, as am
her husband. Truth.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02

Simmons Liver Regulator is invaluable
in the nursery. 1t a gentle laxative, and
harmless.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-08-02
A Surfeit.

First Moth-Can help you to piece of
this flannel shirtS
Second Moth-Thanks But 1 have just
got up from dress suit.-Clothier and
Furnisher