The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-01-13

road was with him in MIR. Depew's office
when the story was told. Tie Englishman
gave a courtesy laugh, forced and feeble
"ha ha." When he turned into Duvars
Office and the door of the presidents room
had been shut, he remarked anxiouslv. II
say, what the -blazes did Depew mean by
that freight trainr
The Scots don't like to be Iwitted about
the surgical operation and the Joke. Here
is Mr.. Depew's account of what happened
at a Scotch dinner in New York;
Speaking at a So. Andrews Society din
ner. Iremarked that II my jokes were not
always appreciated Immediately by the
Scotchmen, by the time the next yearly
dinner came around they had always seen
the point. 1 don't think that's a very funny
thing to say growled a handsome old Scot
who was sitting beside me. 90 said /,
that's all right You'll see the fun In it q
year from now.'h
In Mr.. Depsw's recollections of his friend
ship and friendly feelings with President
Lincoln and Horace Greeley he has a stock
of stories on which he draws occasionally.
This story about Mr.. Greeley has been
often told. but Mr. Depew was the first to
tell 10, and he was a witness of the scene.
To interrupt Horace Greeley when he
was In the thrOes of bringing forth an edi-
torisl was danger which no friend, no
enemy, none but q fool dared to encounter.
| was once in his editorial sanctum when
the fool was there. He was one Of those
itinerant and persistent gentlemen with q
subscription book. He kept presenting it.
while old Horace was writing away with
his pen up to bis ohm. Horace had a habit
when any one would interfere Of kicking,
and so he kicked at the subscription fiend.
Finally, when he saw that he could not get
rid Of the intruder by this means he
stopped in the middle of a sentence, turned
around and said raspingly, in that shrill
voice Of his:
"What do you want? State it quick and
state it 10 the fewest possible words"
We'll" said the subscription 1end, 81
want a subscription, Mr.. Greeley to pre-
vent thousands of my fellow human beings
from going to hell"
81 won't give you damned cent said
Greeley. There don't half eaough go there
now"
Mr.. Depew has done good service by his
stories, not only for his party, but for his
railroad. Here is one of his "reminiscences,
which embodies a good story and tells how
he applied it.
There was an anti-monopoly party in
the state. The railroads were their special
objects of attack. They came tn Albany In
great numbers and we're assisted by some
commercial bodies from New York. A
public hearing was heard upon a bill which
would have affected the New ork Central.
Ali the members and senators were present
and a large audience besides. After the
orators in favor of the bill had made their
I n "A aw1 as aAir,
reply in defense of the railway companies.
Feeling ran very high, and my address did
not produce much effect. Then told this
story:
"A New Bedford whaler had very tacI-
turn and Rruff captain, who treated the Of
fcers and Grew very badly. The mate, who
was at the lookout, called: Thar she blows
an thar she breaches The captain growled,
i don't see no blower and don't see NO
breaches AS the mate deserted the whale
more clearly he called more confidently,
Thar she blows an thar she breaches,
and received in gruffer tones the same an
swer. The mate. being oonfidsnt OF his
whale, sang out once more with greater en-
thusiern, and the captain said, Mate, If you
think thar she blows an thar she breaches
you can lower the boat an &c
for her The mates capture was soor
alongside of the chip and tried out eighty
barrels Of sperm oil. The Modified cap
tain said, Mate. when we get back to New
Bedford you will De mentioned in the re-
port. You. will get an incfsase of salary
Maybe you will be promoted And tbs
mate said, Gaping, | do not want no hon,
rable mention, and don't want no increas,
of salary, and don't want no promotion
all l want is common civility, and that Of
the damnodest, commonest kind"
The whole legislature burst into long.
0nfrOllahlo Ianuhkar TT.
bill was laughed out of the House; IL wa,
laughed out of the Senate. The story wen,
into every paper in the state, big and little
daily and weekly. IL became the amuse
ment OF every barroom and the incentiv,
to discussion Of the railway question IL
every corner grocery, and the result wa
the bringing together of the anti-railroac
aud the railroad people BY the lowering o.
the demands on one side and concession
on the other, which has permanently dis.
missed railroad questions from politics anc
legislatures in the state OF New York.
There are two more "reminiscences whict
contain stories and explain the ciroum.
stances OF their narration:
presided at the state convention thres
years ago. and in describing the politica
bourbots who learned nothing and whom
experience taught nothing, said they re-
minded me of small boy at Psekskiil
whom | met wandering among the chill
dren's graves in the church yard, eating
green apples and singing "Neerer, NY God
to Thee" / heard of a delegate at tina,
convention who was at the funeral of his
wife year or so after ward, and who, when
the minister gave out that hymn, had the
uproarious scene at the convention sud.
denly burst upon him and broke out into
laugh. | have been told that my life
would be sacrificed If l ever entered bis
town.
The most curious person In the audiences
of story. teller is the htersl-minded man.
When Gen. Dix ran for governor there wa,
great discussion as to his age. 1t was one
of the controversies of the canvass. His
opponents claimed that he was too old TO
fulfill the functions of the office. Singu-
larly enough. the biographical dictionaries
differed about ten years. l was making a
speech at Watertown TO very big audience.
| / was running at that time as liberal re-
publican for lieutenant governor upon the
same ticket with Francis Herman. IL was
| an immense outdoor audience.
In front Of me stood man who watched
me during the three hours OF that speech
| for the purpose OF catching me on some
! material roint l finally took up the ques-
/ ton of Gen. Dix's age, gave the dates Of
the various biographical dictionaries and
| encyclopedias and based q theory OF how
| old he must have been in the war of 1912