The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-10-26

KEEP for any length of time. But" SEE
|, these men go too fur in their idees;
they hain't mejum enough"
Yes, they be-" SEE he, they are jest
exactly right, and they know it and 1
know it and every Twin man knows it.
OH" sez he warmly, them men put
men and wimmen in their own different
| spears and keep EN- there so beauti-
| fully. If You would foller up them
| idees. Samantha Allen, | would be the
happiest man in Jonesville or the
work."
"Well," sez l, in reasonable axents,
II would be willin' to charm you,
Josiah Allen, but ! don't see how l
same time"
And then we had some words.
SEE l: This butter has got to be put
| down, and / would like to have you
bring up the tub from the suller and
have you help pack it. 1t is hard work
| for a woman's arms, when they are
almost broke off Already"
"Wall, seq he. short and terse, ''if /
go to 10 nesville that democrat has got
to be creased"
And he ketched up his basin of wag-
on-grease, from the suller-way, and
started off almost on the run.
And, if you'll believe it, that man
| slammed the door behind him. And
whether it wuz that slam. or whether
| it wuz his refusal to bring up that tub,
or whether it wuZ | wuZ so tired out, or
whether it wuz that piece he had read
wuz a-gratin' on my nerve onbeknown
to me-whether it wuz any of these or
all on 'em put together, don't know
but tenny rate before the echo of that
slam had died away in the spare room
and parlor, jest dropped that butter
ladle down, sot the bowl on the but
terry shelf and, sez | to myself, in the
! inside of my own mind, but firm and
positive:
"Tll take you at your word, Josiah
Allen. | will do the rose act as near
as can make out what it is, and you
may work for me while | allure and
charm. will emulate the rose and be
silent"
turned over in my mind all the pic
lures ! had seen of females trying to
allure and charm, and recollected, as
nigh as | could remember, that they
had ginerally been in a settin' poster, so
consequently sot.
l believe, too, it wuz proper for me to
sort O clasp my hands in a easy, grace
full attitude and smile some, so conse-
quently | smiled considerable.
had, previous to my goin' into the
parlor, put on good clean bingham
dress, brown and black plaid, and a
white bib apron.
/ didn't remember of any of the fe-
| males l had mentioned appearin' in a
bib apron, but thinks /, bib, more or
| less amt goin' to make or break a al
lurer and charmer. So ! ventured it.
| And ! leaned back in my most lux
uriors armed chair, covered with good,
handsome copper plate calico, and, as
say, smiled quite good deal, and looked
very allurin' and winnin'.
Thinks es l, l don't know exactly
how to do the rose act" without any
regular rules. | knew roses blew out,
but it couldn't be that Lien would set
that for a sampler for their companions,
| for they are deadly opposed to their
pardners talkin' on duty which they, in
their blindness, cal! "blowin' BLOWN
| round"
No; knew it wuzn't that ] s'posed
it meant to keep still and look pretty.
So tried faithful. | am always very
thorough in anything | undertake.
Wall, jest as got my hands clasped
in a very graceful and allurin' attitude,
and my lips wreathed in a winsone
smile, my pardner entered with his
basin of wagon-grease in his hand.
set where | could see him plain.
| He glanced into the butterv, and SEE
| he:
Gracious Heavens! Hain't that but
| ter finished? Nor the tea-kettle on at
| half-past elevcn?'
smiled at him as sweet as knew
how but KEEP silent.
Ag'in he yelled: why, in the name
of the gracious Peter, hain't dinner I'M
der way?"
Ag'in l smiled. And agin l KEEP
silence. THE rose act" jest as nigh
as could foller it,
And finally he sez, lookin' clost at
| me:
What are you a-tryin' to do, any
way?"
Then | come out plain and sez to him,
in middlin' calm aXents. but firm:
Josiah Allen, am a-tryin' to allure
and charm"
Sez he: You are a-bein' gol-darned
fool, that's what you are a. bein'." That
wuz the secont time he had used that
dreadful word ''gol darn since our
married life commenced. But | still
smiled and murmured, gently and ten
derby:
"Sweet pet"
And then Josiah Allen burst out into
words that | won't tell, even if am
put on thevery pint of the steak.
No, indeed. They wuz words that
wouldn't have them men that wrote
that piece-"What l Would Do If
Wuz Woman"-I wouldn't have them
three men hear what one of their own
sex said, not for a dollar bill. 1t would
gnaw into their consciences too much.
1t would wilt EN- right down into the
ground to see what consequences had
flowed out of their flowery talks and
what Jest one woman's follerin' their
rules had brung down onto both men