The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1893-07-27
NUMBER p.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Not Polite.-He--"Truth is stranger
than fiction" She Cinsinuatingly)-''It
is to some persons. boston Tran
script.
--Cholly-'Chappi awfully sick"
Penelope-"Cuttingh his teeth?' Cholly
mo - cutting his mustache."-
Brooklyn Life.
What is house without a baby?''
asked a lady writer, and an old bachelor
editor replied: 1T is comparatively
quietw-Tit-Bits.
There's Ralph Botolph and his
fiancee-isn't she a stunner?' "Yes,
she holds herself elegantly" Not half
so well as Ralph holds her. Harvard
Lampoon.
His e.-Harry-'Didn't hear
you breaking in on Miss Pruyn's con-
versation by complimenting her on her
voice" Jack-"You did; l was vainly
striving to dam her with faint praise"
N. Y. Sun.
-Figg-"Do you believe in second
marriagesT' Fogg-"Yes, for women.
A widow is a perennial danger to so
ciety until she is married again.
Boston Transcript
Police Commissioner-'Offic Mu-
larkey, you are charged with being
asleep while on post and on duty"
Oficcr-"Not guilty, sir. l was off
post at the time. "-Raymond's 8 Monthly.
Rustic Endeavor-"What are you
trying to raise here?" asked the trav-
eler. And the farmer looked up from
his work just long enough to reply: "A
mortgage. ."-Washington Star.
"A boy who could not understand
what conscience meant was at last
asked: what is it that gives you an
uncomfortable feeling when you have
done something wrong?'' Dads
cane" was the reply.
-Hicks-'I guess I'm square with
Dix. l gave his boy a mouth-organ
last night Mrs. Hicks-''But you're
not square with me. Mrs. Dix sent him
over here to spend the day."--Vogue.
-Papa-''Well, Johnnie, you went
to church this morningT' Johnnie
.'Yes, papa" Papa-''How did you
like the sermon9'' Johunie-'The be-
ginning was good and the end was
good, but there was too much middle
to 1t, papa"
-Squareman-"Do you think it just
right for you to be working to get him
out of his office? Apply the golden
rule to the situation. Put yourself in
| his place" Seeker-"Put myself. in
his place! Blame It, what are you
talking about? Amt that just what
| I'm trying to do?''-Buffalo Courier.
"A Case of Pressure. re.-"Gertrude,"
he said, fixing his intense gaze upon
her downcast brow, would you object
II ] should pass my arm about your
waist?' Eyes, George" she replied,
gazing archly at his manly feet. 81
should object, but I might yield to
pressure. ."-Springfield Republican.
-'Look at me, ma'am," said the
man who was asking for something to
eat. "Ain't the picture of despair
81 don't know anything about yer
bein picture" she answered, glanc-
ing at the OK, but unless you're in the
wood-cut line you can't get anything
to eat here "-Washington Star.
Prof. Potterby-"Any letters for
me?" Delivery Clerk-"What name,
please3'' Prof Potterby-"Why-er-
blessed If have not forgotten it. !
am always forgetting something. Ii
nv wife was here-Mrs. Socrates Pot
terby, you know-she could tell you in
a minute, but can't think of it to save
my life. Indianapolis Journal.
Mr.. Freshleigh-'In asking for
your daughters hand, sir, feel that !
ought to tell you of my faults. occa-
sionally play the races" Mr.. Culver
ful-~''Well, well, that's bad, but still
excusabie." Mr.. Freshleigh-"But
only when 1 get straight tips" Mr.
Ouiverful (sternly)-"You can never
marry my daughter, sir. IN. Y. Her
aid.