The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-03-01
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A bouncing baby-The rubber doll.
Fair and square-The angular blonde
girl.
Settled out of court-Tho confirmed
bachelor.
Gossip will very soon die without
proper ventilation.
Fighting tooth and nail-The dentist
and the chiropodist.
The barbed wire fence is the thing
that can give you points.
A bird that can't sing and will sing
ought to be made into pot-pie.
When bad example is set it is apt to
hatch mischief.-Kate Fields Washing
ton.
Many man has made a goose of
himself with a single quill. Sift-
ings.
Sleep is not the period of conscious
ness; it is only the coma, so to speak,
Boston Courier.
1t takes years for wise mau to ma
ture, but fool can get ripe in minute.
- w ashAuBbOu Guar
The diamond that poets praise,
Though still favored jewel,
win be outranked ere many days
By carbon used as fuel.
Washington Star.
This would be a much happier world
if we couldn't borrow trouble without
collateral security.
"a little learning is a dangerous
thing" as the poor skater remarked as
he picked himself up.-Puck.
"This is tirst-class sugar Loaf" said
the candy merchant as he retired from
business. Washington Star.
When some people get on the roll of
honor they must roll it up and take it of
with Decentralization News.
The height of mpudence-Taking
shelter in an umbrella shop till the
shower is over.-Le Monde ComIque
1t has been demonstrated oft
A man ne'er reaches fame,
Until the world famiiarly
Makes use of his first name.
Washington Star.
Photographer - "Now, madame, a
pleasant expression, please" Son in law
Gn the back ground) )--"W Whewl must
not miss that"-Fliegende Blaetter.
IL am not afraid to say what l think"
exclaimed Hiladd. 81 always express
my views" "They are too heavy to 60
by mail, suppose, replied Larimer.-
She-"Dudes haven't more than half
sense" Mr.. sappy-"Aw, Miss Navy,
are there no exceptions2' 80, yes, Mr..
sappy; some haven't any. ."--Brooklyn
Life.
"Poor Mr.. Mills is so sympathetic,
think" Dolly-"What did he dom
"To-day he sat with his eyes closed on
the car rather than see the ladies stand
up."-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
"What have you got all those pictures
out on the window sill fort" asked a
friend of an amateur photographer. "I
am simply airing my views y was the re-
spouse. Yonkers Statesman.
Oh, novelist, little light
We humbly beg OF you.
Why are the clocks of which you write
All made of ormOlu?
Washington Star.
"Hello, Dinwiddiel" exclaimed Shin
giss, when the two met on Fifth avenue,
al haven't seen you in an age. What do
you do for living now2' "Ibreathe,"
replied Dinwiddie, languidly. PITTS
burg Chronicle.
Neighbor's Boy docking through the
fence)-"My fathers heap bigger man
than your'n!" New Boy with cold dis
dain)-"Size amt nothn'l When my
father coughs you can hear him half
mile lel'-Chicago Tribune.
Elderly Maiden (out rowing with a
possible suitor and little sister who is
frightened by the waves -"rheodora
II you are so nervous now, what will
you be at my agel" Little Sister (meekly)
-"rhirty-seveu, | suppose. lid Bits.
Sranger-"I notice you called your
friend Professor. Is he really pro-
fessori" Boweryite 81 should say so.
Why, dat feller swollers sword eighteen