The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-04-29
THAT RED GOWN.
Why It Caused Mr.. Thimble a
Great Amount of Trouble.

A sense of duty impels me, otherwise
I should shrink from this task, for it is
a delicate and pain full one. To begin
with. / call the gods to witness that !
myself am to an infinitesimal degree
only responsible for the train of morti-
fications and regrets involved by that
little sin of feminine vanity wherewith
all the trouble began. To be more ex-
plicit, will say at once, and l speak
the solemn truth, that ! never liked
that gown; / hated it from the very
moment when first it shrieked at me-.
use that word advisedly. Mrs. Mac
gregor's gown was of that shade of red
which shrieks. For you must know
that Mrs. Macgregor's husband was,
rs you might suspect, of Scotch de-
scent, and he had an instructive, con
genital passion for that particular and
shrieking shade of red which obtained
to surprising degree in the trade
mark plaid of the Highland clan bear
ing the proud name of Macgregor. 1t
was in Difference to her husbands alb
surd, yet otherwise appropriate pas
sion, that Mrs. Macgregor had pur-
chased that gown. And Macgrcgor
was delighted with it. Its shrieks
were, in his prejndiced Scotch ears,
sweeter than the tones of the tuneful
bagpipes. They were. fancy, more
grateful to his sodden Highland soul
than the milder persuasive influences
of finnan haddie or of Athol brose Yet
hated that red gown Yes, at the
very beginning i in tuitively recognized
and regarded it as thing of evil.
Mrs. Macgregor is my wife's sister,
and o swceter lady never walked in
leather, excepting. of course, my
wife herself, who, in spite of
her very few, but very disas.
trous, frailties. is unq ucstionabIy
the most beautiful and most amiable
creature in all the world. The Mac
gregors live near us; we see one an
other constantly. This is a great con-
venience. Macgregor abounds in
Scotch thrift; it is an inestimable boon
to have brother-in-law handy when
one Is constrained to borrow money to
answer sudden and imperative de-
mands.
Last summer Mrs. Turner wrote nv
wife q charming letter inviting us 70
pay her visit Mrs. Turner has a
lovely summer house at Calm Lake.
II you have ever visited the delightful
Wisconsin lake region you surely do
not have to be told of the extraordin-
ary beauties of Calm Lake. nor do l
have to assure you that the Turner's
have made for themselves and their
friends the most delightful retreat in
all that delightful country. OF course,
Mrs. Thimble and / were overjoyed by
the prospect of sojourn in this lovely
spot. We accepted Mrs. Turner's in.
vitation with dispatch and an enthu-
siasm which must have made even
Mrs. Turner's gracious hospitality
quake with establishment.
am in no sense man of the world.
My life has been spent in meditation
and in the pursuit of the literature of
education. My History of Henhawk
County," my First Book for Amateur
Astronomers" and my essay upon 1.-THE
Essential Principles of Vulgar Frac-
tons" have enrolled my name-I say it
In all modesty-in the proud roster of
my country's benefactors / am of a
cain, contemplative nature; l love
tranquility, shun thc.excitements and
vanitiea Of society life. / recall now
with painful blush how upon time
l made my appearance at a church
sociable wearing my ear muffs-the re-
suit OF mental abstraction, for just
then was deep in work upon a log
arithm involved by the conjunction of
Aldebaron and the other eye of Tau
rus
So was surprised and annoyed when
Mrs. Thimble. having accepted Mrs.
Turner's invitation, suggested to me
that her wardrobe was hardly extern
sive enough to admit of her making a
successful appearance at fashionable
watering place. 1t had not occurred
TO me that Calm Lake was that kind OF
. place; neither had 1t occurred to me
that Mrs Thimble's wardrobe was not
extensive. Irecalled that of the seven
spacious closets in our house / was NOT
permitted to use one, and SO had to
stow away my linen and other traps in
the lower drawers of bureau. re.
membered very distinctly the pearl.
gray dinner gown and the brown silk
and the English walking dresa = and
= and = but why enumerate? was
wholly satisfied with Mrs Tbimhla,e
wardrobe. and it seemed to me
that It her husband was satis-
6ed, snrcly the wife ought not to
eomplsiR Bat Arh Th:mble thought