davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
HUMOROUS.
mother.

-Lady-sI don't exactly like the
fricze IN this room; it" Landlady-
"Mercy, the heat isn't turned on full
ct.'-Inter-Ocean.
He (about to traveD-"Do you real
ly want me to come back soon?" She
'sWell. perhaps you had better. You
see, I have promised not to forget you"
Absence of Mind-Miss van Wou-
yer (benevolently)-' haven't cent
of change, my poor man. 1 am so
sorry! Could you change five-dollar
bill?''-Judge.
Mother quitting the boy out of the
pantry)-''How many more times will
have to tell you to keep out of that
preserve jar?" Small Boy (sobbing)-
mo more, mamma. They're all gomez
"A Bad Diet.-Mrs. Giddy Ito her
physician, who has recommended resD
But, you know, doctor, that variety
is the spice of life DIR. Bluff-''May-
be. madam; but people can't Insist on
seasonings. Truth.
-Harry-"D arlingl 1 love you"
Darling-'Yes, ! know it, Harry; but
was in hopes you'd have some news
to tell me tonight. 1 haven't seen a
soul to-day, and I'm just dying for
boston Transcript. /
Whipple-''Can you tell me just what
variety actress is supposed to do?"
Snapper-"I think by that name one
usually refers to a person whose acting
varies between bad and worse Puck
Elder Berry, had a long talk to-
day with picSpocket. He said he
would reform a little later, but couldn't
think of it just now Mrs. Berry
| "What is he waiting for now?" Elder
Berry-"For chatelaine watches to go
OUT
Something in a Name.-Little VIII.
| lie-"Say, honest, are you a mulatto?"
Crosshatch (the artist)-"No, indeed.
What gave you that idea?' "Why, Sis
said YOU was one of the best-known
! blacl1-and-w white men in the country
| Truth.
You were gone a good while" said
| the invalid to her husband, who had
been to the drug store; lit must have
| taken the clerk good while to put up
the prescription?'' Il don't know; 1
think he must have spent good deal
of the time putting up the price,
| Washington Star.
| IL don't know what has come over
our son since he went to work in a
shoestore,, said Mrs. Blaggihs. "He
! was LOOKING AT q caienldr anu ne spoke
of the figure 81 as 50 and ~ as q. His
mind must be going" oh" replied
her husband, that's all right They
have put him TO work selling shoes to
the lady customers" - Washington
Star.
An Afterthought.-Bef bidding
hey good night he begged to be per.
n.tted to kiss her. "Oh, no." she said.
Il could not permit such a thing Be
sides, somebody might sec MS" That's
true" he said. There was a pause,
after which she said, with a light
laugh: "How quiet fit is here. There
appears to be nobody about. IN Y.
/ Press.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22

Little Laura and her brother Ollie
have been encouraged in the habit OF
racing at their toilet in the morning.
Ollie always wins, for he has little else
than shirt waist and a pair OF
brooches to put on, while Laura's attire
is great deal more elaborate and
plentiful than that. Nevertheless,
Laura is ambitious, and she doesn't
lose heart by frequent defeat.
One morning she played stratagem
in order to win the race. She AID her
brother had just got out of bed and as
they were getting ready to begin dress
ing she turned te him with an arch ex-
preston and said, coaxiugly:
''Ollie, you know that haste makes
waste, and if you hurry now You'll
waste your time"
ollie was victorious just Che same
Boston Herald.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22

flict. Lieut. James Calhoun, the bril-
liant young officer, was the husband OF
Gen. Clusters sister Margaret, or Maggie,
as her fond brother always called her.
Thus five of the Custer family persisted
in that brief and bloody battle. 1t was
then that the strong religious nature of
Father Custer asserted itself most
valiantly,- and while he mourned for
his boys it was not as one without hope
He loved to recount their noble deedsj
to dwell on their home life, and the
days of their boyhood. That he was
proud of his ''yellow-haired laddie,"
was not to be gainsaid, for he saw in
him all his fondcst hopes realized.
George made himself what he was
without anyouc's assistance" he said
once to the writer of this paper. ''He
asked me once to see Congressman
Bingham about getting him an appoint
ment at West Point. Bingham and I
were opposed politically, and 1 didn't
want to ask him to do anything for
me or mine. But the first thing i knew
George had the appointment-he stole
n march on his father and asked Bing-
ham himself. And l knew that Bing-
ham was always glad and proud that
he gave it to him. 1t makes me sad
every time l look at this picture and
think of my three boys who were killed
in one day
If Father Custer had lived until De-
cember 10, 1892, he would have CONF
pleted his eighty-sixth year.
MRS. NJ L. RAyNE.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
A Cutting Remark.

a Cass avenue man with a son whose
mustache and whiskers are just be-
ginning to exert themselves. was try
ing to shave himself the other even
ing His language on that occasion was
so forcible as to attract his sons at
tention.
Hello, pop" inquired the youth,
"what's the disturbanc
''Confound this razor" was the reply,
sits so dull that it pulls things out by
the roots
TRY mine" suggested the boy, pro.
ducing his steel.
The father looked ut his sons downy
face and at the razor1et in his hand.
my boy" he said, with gentle pity,
stake it away. / want something that's
accustomed to cutting whiskers, De
troit Free Press.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
MRS. ELIZABETH BACON CUSTER.

father of Gen. Custer" I remember
seeing him at the Cyclorama of the
Little Big Horn when it was here in
Detroit. That terribly real semblancc
of the battle field had so overcome
ordinary spectators that they had
tainted from the effect. Yet this brave
old man regarded the scene of carnage
with calm and stately courage that
was truly wonderful. While he sat and
watched the scene q man who wore the
badge of Michigan cavalryman touched
him on the shoulder:
Excuse me, comrade. You are Gen.
Clusters father"
eyes," SAID the fine old man, with a
glow of pride at his hero.s name, "he
was my SON."
"I was with Gen. Custer when he
made that raid out of Winchester, and
broke through Early's lines said the
cavalry man.
Then another came up:
81 was with him in the FIRST cavalry"
said another, when his brother Tom
was wounded in the ,:eck.''
az remember that enCag CEMENT" aid
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22

MT. Custer, as If repeating MATTER Of
history. ''Tom brought that necktie
home, and have it yet
"Let me speak to Gen. Clusters fa.
ther. My son fought under him." said
an elderly woman in black, coming for-
ward.
.'He fought under good man, then"
said Mr.. Custer, in his quiet way.
AS he passed out some men wearing
the grand army badges gave him almost
TN ovation. knew him, and as I saw
his face paling I said:
"Oh, Mr.. Custer! they are glad to sec
you--how pleased they are"
est isn't for me,'' he said, and I No.
ticed that his voice was husky; ''they
are thinking of hin,-and SO am 10
He was very fond of his only daugh-
ter, Mrs Margaret Custer Calhoun, and
Gen. Clusters widow, Mrs. Elizabeth
Bacon Custer, and these ladies were
with him when he died, Mrs. Calhoun
going from Lansing, Mich, where she
is state librarian, and Mrs. Custer from
her home in New York. When the two
lived temporarily here in Detroit Fa-
Their Custer used to come to visit them,
and it was amusing and pathetic to SEQ
the interesting trio engaged in the
amusenents of an evening.
However much they smiled or talked
when their attention was concen-
trated on what was around them, there
was always a sad preoccupation or a
fevcrish restlessness when the atten~
ton was withdrawn. Then it was that
those who knew bowed their heads and
felt the infinite pity of it--and looked
upon these as set apart and consecrated
through a national loss and sorrow.
But they could be very jolly, too, at
times, and perpleS staid, practical Fa-
ther Custer with their jokes at his ex-
pense, and even make merry over occa-
sional "reminiscences of greater jokes
perpetrated by "Artie,'' their pet name
for the general.
1t is not generally known that two
brothers of Gen. Custer We're killed
with him. One only is mentioned par
! ticularly, Tom, the younger brother.
The other one was Boston Custer. The
youthful hrtic Reed was grandson OF
Mrs. Custer by Il former marriage. Bos.
ton Custer and Attic Reed were not in
Gen. Clusters command, but werE west
for visit, and for their health, and ac-
companied their gallant relative as
volunteers, having entire confidence in
his ability to engage safely in the con-
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
REPUBLICAN, ROTTENNESS.
Some of the Unsavory Transactions of tn
Harrison Administration.

Some of the Unsavory Transactions of the
Harrison Administrations.
The final performances of the Har-
rison administration are we'll calcu-
lated to watt into the public nostrils
farewell puff of the peculiar flavor
which has characterized it's doings
from the outset Thus, Mr.. Wanna
maker, in opening formally the pneu-
matte postal system recently completed
in Philadelphia, selected as the first
parcel to be sent through the tubes a
Bible wrapped in the American flag,
and put upon it the unctuous label:
THE first use of the first pneumatic
postal tube in the United States is to
send through it a copy of the Holy
Scriptures-the greatest message ever
given to the world. Covering the Bible
is the American hag-the emblem of
freedom of nixty-five millions of happy
people," Probably this is the last ap-
pearance in our national official life of
this most unpleasant combination of
piety, politics and bargain-counter lit
erature-at least, let us hope it is.
Nothing like it was ever seen before in
this or any other country. While
his postmaster general was round
ing out his official term in
this fitting manner, President Har-
rison was improving the shining
hour at Washington in distributing as
favors among his friends such public
offices as he could get hold of before
his success or came in. In order that
his private secretary might not be left
without job after March 4, he APP
pointed him a paymaster in the regu-
lar army, thereby committing au act
of gross injustice to members of the
army in line of promotion-being "iust
in time" with this as with his Gillian
and Hawaiian messages, for there is a
Till pending in congress forbidding
such appointments. After doing this
ne heard ST tro editorial friends of his
il Iowa who were intending to get
married and wished to make foreign
tours Us bridal trips, but could not af-
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
Arc These the Old Aztec Hlines2

According to advices received ~
Chihuahua during the last few tk-s
there is no abatement in the mining ex-
element near Tres, in the state of So
nora, over the rich gold finds that
were made there few weeks ago. 1t
is estimated that the new camp now
has population of $4,000 people, most
ly Mexicans, with a few American
prospectors from the southern part of
Arizona. Traces of old workings have
recently been discovered, and this fact
gives color to the belief that the long-lost
mines of fabulous richness of the Aztecs
are about to be rediscovered. There has
been no trouble so far between the
prospectors and the Yaqui Indians, al
though the latter view with sullen
silence the entertainments upon their
domain
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
eRuDDAH JoHNslNe's SERMON.

I'ze a-gwin' faw to take q tex dis mornin'
bright and fine,
Bout sutn lead,n' princepul you wants TER
keep in min.
And des will glib it to you in my hottest solemn
tones:
@'when yoh all lives in glass houses, doan yoh
git to frowin' stones"
Dah's mitey sight OF wickedness gwyin to
And de debbes alays on de watch faw sinnahs
heah below,
So, keep yoh eye out fob yose'f, an not fob
Brudder Jones
sWhen yoh all lives in glass houses doan you
git to frowin' stones"
When yoh meets a sistah comm wifi ribbon in
err hat,
Doan think the sistah's gittin' vain, faw, when
it comes to dat,
Des gaze upon yoh speckled tie, an say in hum
BILE tones:
~When yoh all lives in glass houses dean yoh
git to frowin' stones"
If membeh o. dis church OBJ mine goes strayin
FUN de way,
de Lawdu sholy jedgc him de final jedge-
ment day;
But de bred'rin all mus he p him faw to fin de-
straightcs' path
An scape de sutn turner's OBJ dc Lawd's indig-
nant wrath.
Religion is Gurus thing in many ways an
one,
But dah's pitfalls lurkin' cbrywhah you sholy
If Sistah Wilson's 'sperience am told wifi tears
an groans
Doan think yose'f much bettah-doan you git to
frowin' stones.
Doan pestah young folks Gaze dey's young, but
let lem laugh an smile,
Flaw childens laugh like fowahs come bright
springin' fun dc sile;
An dc sweetes kind OBJ music is de vespahs
dat am sung
In de hahts o men and wimmin in de days hen
dey am young.
Keep charity faw cherry onc-doan jcdse yoh
fellowmen,
But Leah 1t all to dat one Pow'r who'll ledge ds
people when
We cross dc shinin ribbah in de mansions OBJ de
best
Whah the wicked cease FUN troublin' an dc
weary am at rest.
So lissen what I'ze teflin' yoh, an take it tc
yoG. haht,
An Nuke dis Dressed tex o. mine OBJ daily life a
paint,
And softly say it in yoh prayers when yoh
l.. marrer- bones:
when you all lives in glass houses, doan yot
git to frowln' stones.'
Ernest McGaffey, in Chicago Times.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
CHANGED CONDITIONS.
The Treasury After -Four Years Of Repub-
lican Nisrule.

The Treasury After -Four Years OF Repub-
lican Nisrule.
The republican organs that pretend
to have discerned n weakening of Mr.
Cleveland's purpose to secure Il reform
of the tariff probably do not deceive
themselves. They certainly will not
deceive the country. The man who
risked defeat for an otherwise sure re-
election to the presidency by forcing
the issue of tariff reform because he
believed 1t to be right, and who has add
hered steadfastly to that issue ever
since, is not at all likely to weaken in
its support now that he has been sus-
tanned by the people and put in power
to carry out his policy.
To the sneering inquiry whether Mr..
Cleveland now thinks that sit is u con-
djtion that confronts us, not Il theory, :"
the reply is: Eyes. but. thanks to re-
publican profigacyl and misrule,- the
condition is different and more peri
louS.''
When MIR. Cleveland spoke in 1857
the condition was this: A surplus OF
SEQ, 900, 900 in the treasury and an an
nual revenue Of 500, 900, 900 in excess
of the needs of the government; a
strong gold reserve; n silver coinage
which the business of the country
absorbed without serious consequences,
and a war tariff after twenty-five years
of peace.
To-day, after four more years of re-
publican rule, the condition is this:
An exhausted treasury; Il revenue in
sufficient to meet the expenses of the
government the free gold reduced to
So, 900, 900, three-fourths of which has
been loaned by the banks; 4 compul-
sorry silver purchase and paper infia-
ton which have driven gold out of the
country and impaired public conf
dence. and a worse than war tariff that
has been twice condemned by the coun'
try.-N. Y. World.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
HlhzlmL - s. ~ ~
IL An EATERS.


along the coast of China, no matter
how remote from the great centers of
population, to which his fame has not
extended. With him the killing of the
great man caters who infest the
3ungles is looked upon as a pastime,
and he has shot them under almost all
Imaginable circumstances.
He arrived in this city on the steamer
Gaelic, en- route for London, and it
was early in the forenoon that he
strobe into the California hotel. He
wrote his name in big bold letters
across the page of the register, and
lost no time in plunging into n bath
tub. Later he emerged from his Sc
clusion, looking rudy and muscular.
He looked more like the ordinary
globe-trotter than n slayer of tigers
whose name is known throughout the
Orient. In appearance he is tall and
robust, with closely trimmed white
beard and keen gray eyes. A long
oose-fitting sack coat of gray tweed
was buttoned about him, and a brown
derby hat was tilted back far enough
upon his head to show that he is grow
ing slightly bald. His feet were in
cased in shoes of russell leather. and he
carried in his hand a heavy cane, which
he chung to tenaciously as he strobe
rapidly along.
'Oh, yes" he said. in gruff tone,
when asked about his experiences as a
tiger hunter, II have bagged n good
many of the beasts in my day, but there
is nothing remarlSa BILE about that With
us, don't you know, it is merely pas
time, and we hunt the tigers for the
sport there is in it. Why, bless my
soul, can see no reason why anyone
should care to hear about tiger hunt
ing. With us it is ordinary sport, just
as deer stalking is in America
''After ALL" he continued, as he
grasped his cane more firmly and
planted his feet very wide apart, 1.-The
tigers of China are not nearly as fero-
cious as those of India, but they give
good deal of trouble to the natives at
times. When one of them gets taste
of human blood he at once becomes fe-
rocious. aud is never satisfied with any
other diet They become transformed
into what are known as man eaters,
and they hunt human beings as q cat
does mice.
Take big man eater, for instance,
and he is pretty sure to make his lair
in a Jungle close to native village,
avoiding the larger towns, an6 always
on the alert to make victim of some
luck1ess human being who may fall in
his way. 1t is his habit to Turk about
the outskirts of the settle ment, con-
cealed in the edges of the jungle, and
await his opportunity to seize a victim.
Moonlight nights suit him best. AT
such time he is extremely vigilant.
he prowls about until he sees some be-
lated straggler in the streets. This is
the opportunity for which he has wait
ed for hours, perhaps for days There
is the flash OF a heavy body in the
moonlight, cry of terror, brief
struggle and the man eater is off for
his lair in the Jungle, bearing the help
less body of n human being in his mas
sive jaws. Months later, it may be,
the bones are found in the dense under
growth.
When / went to China twenty years
ago Z had already some experience in
hunting big game, and wanted to Kill
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22

New plans have been made for the
projected bridge across the English
channel, and the promoters will apply
to parliament this session for power to
go ahead with its construction. The
engineers are Sir John Fowler and Sir
benjamin Baker. The length of the
bridge has been reduced about three
miles, and the number of piers has
been reduced from 1a1 to ~. The can
tilever system is proposed. The greatest
span will be l,G40 feet. The masonry
piers are to be 147 feet long and 6e feet
broad. The cost is estimated at GA
INC 900.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22

n arrow escape that ever had. When
measured the tiger was found to he al
most twelve feet in length, and his
claws were one and three-auarter
inches in length. / had the lattc-
mounted and distributed them among
my friends.
II could tell you great many
stories if l had the time, but they have
grown old to me ard would be of no
interest to the public" and the tiger
slayer fastened away to his dinner
San Francisco Examiner.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22

ford to do SO at their own expense.
Finding two consulships at his dis
posal, he gave each of them one, said:
''Bless you my children" and the two
couples will sail away presently at tho
public expense. The fact that the new
consuls win not reach their posts be-
fore April /, and consequently only get
there in time to return. was not con-
sidered in the matter. Public Office
will no longer be public trust at
Washington. and goodness knows it
may be many a year before Harri-
son gets a whacls at the offices again.
Let us make our hay while the sun
shines, and wave the American flag
vigorously while doing son. Y. Post.
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
GEN. CUSTER'S FATHER.
Memories Of the Venerable Parent
of q Gallant Soldier.
He Was a Man of Strong Prejudlees, But
I.ovabie Just tho Same--Members rs
the Custer Family who PerIshed
With the General.
Especial Detroit (Mich.) letter.

The recent death of Emanuel Henry
Custer, father of Gen. George A. Custer,
the hero of the battle of the Little Big
Horn, brings wildly to the public mind
the conspicuous events Of that mem
orable year 1876. Father Custer, as he
was Familiarity called by his townspeo.
pie at Monroe, Mich, has been a figure
of interest for many years. 1t would
have been bereavement enough to have
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-04-22
Reason In All Things.

Bingo (at breallfast)-Seems to me
those waffles come mp very slow.
Mrs. Bingo-My dear, the cook hasn't
had her breakfast yet.-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1893-07-06
Bucklen's Arnica Salve.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises. Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chill
blains, Corns, and all Skin Eruptions.
and positively cures Piles, or no pay
required 1t is guaranteed to give per-
feet satisfaction, or money refunded
Rrice % cents per qox. For sale by P.
p. Crisp.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1893-07-06
This Is Democracy.

Postmaster General Bissell has re-
scinded an order made some weeks
ago. to the effect that fourth-class
postmasters could only be removed for
failure to properly discharge their
duty, and he has now decided that at
the expiration of four years from the
date of appointment such Offices become
vacant. This sounds more like De-
mocracy. and it is gratifying to learn
that Mr.. Cleveland is responsible for
the new order of things. Mr. Bissell
made himself very unpopular by inter-
fering with the work OF removing Re-
publicans from Office and it is well that
he has been appraised of his mistake in
due time.
The offices belong to Democrats and
a Republican fOurth-class postmaster
has no more right to expect to hold
Office under Democratic administration
than a Republican cabinet officer.
When fOurth-class postmasters are
turned out to grass Republican office
holders will be very scarce in this
country. The other cabinet officers
have not been slow about removing
Republicans, and in fact the only de-
lay calculated to make the Democrats
desperate is chargable to Mr.. Bissell's
department, and with the latter in line
with his party the Republican office
holders may as we'll commence casting
about for other Employment.
All that has been said about the
clamor for spoils has emanated from
three general sources. to-wit. D those
in office who want to hold on, 81 those
who have lately been appointed to of
flee and don't want to be bothered with
less fortunate office-seekers and (3) the
political eunuchs who would rather
summer in the Internal regions than to
be where they could not find fault. 1t
is pretty well understood by this time
mat DclDOcTdlS nave TlSHt u Suck
Office under the present administration,
and whenever the demands of those
who have not been provided for be-
comes too great for those in Office let
the latter resign, SO that others can be
appointed who will be able TO stand
the pressure. 1t is not very pleasant,
we admit. for an oifice-holder to be be-
seiged by applicants for positions, but
this is part of the responsibility as
sumed by the lucky ones. and they are
not entitled to any sympathy rs long
as they are accorded the great privil-
eye of resiging.-JeBersOn city Iri-
bune.