St. Landry democrat., 1893-12-09

moi lot lrlcluSulp. Dut cdCn
Has an unmarried brother.
-IJudge.
Reggy SmallfcIlow bursting with in
'dlgnatlon at having been rudelv-~ jostleC
by a muscular pedcstrian)--I say, will
you hit that main for a dollar?
Micky Tulfwon-Wot's de use?
JUS struck him for 10 cents an didn'
get a red.-LTroy Press.
BUYING THINGs FOR MAMMA
jessie am going to buy my mother
some oranges.
FRIENDSHIP likes oranges, does she?
.Eessie-No, ma'am, she gives them to
ms-- Yankee Blade.
LONG EXPERIENCE.
Head Of Firm-Have you had much
experience as a travelling man!
Applicant-I should say | had. ]
have Just walked home from the Worlds
Fair Detroit Free Press.
SOCIETY NOTE.
Wifc-Did you notice, dear, at the
party last evening, how grandly our
daughter, Clara, swept into the room?
Husband with a gruntJ-Oh, yes.
Clara can sweep into the room grandIy
enozgh, but when it comes to sweeping
out the room she isn't there Texas
.Satings.
DISAPPOINTED.
"Did you have a good time on your
sroc+or,, Ell, ~ - cuil am 1irl
"Lovely," replied the other.
'1'm sure you saw everything there
was to see"
eyes; l suppose So"
"You say that as if you might have
missed something"
"Well, you see, to tell the truth, our
train didn't get robbed nce."-LWash-
ington STIR.
Visit or Ito Boston parrot Polly want
a cracker?
Ps.rrot-If you please. Won't you
have one first ?--[Truth.
AN ADVANTAGE HE ENJOYED.
She (from the hammock)-IIavc you
read "An Exquisite Fool'?
He with q sigh Of hopelcssness)--1'vo
been one.-DetrDit Free Press.
HEW PROTECTOR.
Tommy's Mothcr--Pshaw, Tommy.
You oughtn't to have been frightened
because the yacht rocked q little. Look
at little cousin Nellie, she wasn't scared
q bit.
TnpnT1J. Nc rynp11u cka hal --o
there to look after her Chicago Rec
ord
lie STOPPED BOARDING.
Mrs. Snaggs (reading) A man in
South Duxbnry, Mass, has coughed up
a ten-cent piece he swallowed some time
ago.
Mr.. Snaggs--Yes, I've noticed other
indications that the boarding of money |
is coming to an end pittsburg Chron-
icle.
NOT A DINE NOVEL HERO.
"My dear Sir, said the grateful father,
chow can | reward you for dragging my
only daughter from Il watery grayc?"
"Simply do not expect me to marry
her." replied the hero. -IDetroit Free
Press.
VALID OBJECTION.
He-How do you like Lord Popping
ton, Miss Barrow
Miss Barrow-Not at all. He can't
pronounce his RS, and ] do dctcst being
addressed as Miss Bowwow.- Tidbits.
AN TMPossIB1LITY
Customer-These collars don't suit me.
They don't sit we'll on my neck.
Clerk-How do you expect them to
sit when they are standing collars?-
[Pitssburg Bulletin.
COULDN'T EXPLAIN.
"Why don't you get married, dear
boy?"
II must refer you to Miss Jones, who
persists in jilting me for reasons OF her
w ."-[Chicago Record.
NoN-COMMITTAL.
81 say, Charley, been a fishing, Ell?
Got any fish in your basket?'
Charley (ambigu tusly)-I have got q
good eel.-LBoston Transcript.
A HINT
'How are your just thought I'd drop
in a while to kill time
"WclI, we don't want any of our time
killed. "-IBoston Globe.
SAVED By A ARROW MARGIN.
"Becn to lodge have you, Absalom?"
said Mrs. Rambo, in Il metallic tone of I
voice.
eyes, m dear" replied Absalom.
"What time does the lodge usually let {
out?" !
"About--um about II o'c!ock.n S
"And what time do you think it is a
L
"Er-it's about II, isn't it"
s'It is $50. Does it take three hours
and a half to come home."
eyes. M dear. Lodge bodies move
And Mrs. Rambo went gaspingly up y
TO bed.--lChicago Record. i.
MS SUSPICIOUS WE'RE AROUSED. c
siCau you tell countcfeit money when {
you see itG" asked a clerk in the war de- Z
partment Of a treasury cmployc. /
yes !,
81 wish You would look at this $40 l.
bill.a )
'tDo you think there's anything wrong :.
it!'' !