davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1893-03-27
UNDERTAKEN.

The undertaker's wages are SO much per
die 'em.-Yonkers Statesman.
Dead men tell no tales, but the ones who
write their obituaries often do.-Texas
Siftings.
The polite man never looks at his watch
in the presence of ladies. Neither does
the very poor one.-Philsdelphia Record.
"What makes some girls look young SO
longa"
"The men are to blame. They won't
propose. e."-Life.
Hicks-What do you thinki VIII II be
q mstohi Wicks-It ought to be. He is q
regular stick and she's all fire and brim-
stone.-Boston Transcript.
''IIl kiss you for the one" he said,
"You love the most, outside Of me"
The maiden blushed and hung her head;
II love the human race, she said.
Parkes-Pennem writes verses that are
quite moving. Rhodes-You don't say sof"
Psrkes-Yes. You may have resd some of
them in the elevated cars.-Puck.
"And is the air healthy hereE" asked q
visitor at a mountain resort. Excellent,
sir, excellent. One can become q oenten-
arian here in a little while. ."-Tt-Bits.
He (sazing at her jewelless ears during q
| temporary lull in the conversation)-Why!
did you never have your ears boreda She
Never, up to the present ume.-Boston
Transcript.
Does the usher belong to the churohf'
Certainly; what do you mesnP
'Nothing-only one might infer from
his actions that the church belongs to
him. Puck.
A-Hello, old chap. Congratulations.
hear you have married 9 lady with an in
dependent fortunel
B-No; married fortune with an In
dependent lady-Vogue.
"rve such joke on Clarence"
"Oh, do tell me-"
HE ssked me to be a sister to him, and
told him would be his wife. BE took
1t in earnest, and is miserable. Life.
Not His Size.-Nswly Elected Congress
man (trom KansRsl-Pd like to have nay
| picture taken. Photogrspher-CAbine
| Newly elected congressman (blushing)-
No; just plain, everyday congressman.
Puck.
Enfant Terrible Host Ito visitor)-Ahl
what pity You did not come a minute
sooner; my wife has only just cleared away
| the coffesl Little MoritZ-Yes, and she
nearly broke a cup in her hurryl-Deutsche
| Wespen-
"Williel Willie," said the boys mother,
"Whst are you crying for" 'N-n-noth-
inn sobbed Willie 1.-THE idea of a boy
like you crying for nothingl" "Wwell,
/ it's nicer t-thsn oryin' for somsthin', 'csCse
| w-when you cry for something y-you don't
| always get 1t, but w-when you cry for
nothin' You DIDO get it."-Harper's Bazaar.
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1893-03-27
EDITORIAL NOTES.

1t is expected that Baby Ruth's nose will
be out of Joint In June,
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1893-03-27

really mean to vote last fall for no serious
check on the competition of foreign manu-
facturers and for increased importations of
foreign goodsi It is evident that they had
some curious notions In their heads when
they voted as they did, but did they mean
to thus deliberately vote against their own
interestaS
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1893-03-27
FASHION NOTES.

They'll Stand Alone; but Where7
The problem Of storing wide sleeved
and wide skirted dresses is already q seri-
GUS one. 1t is hard enough to keep sleeves
stiff while wearing them, bat what Is to
be done when bodices are crowded into
narrow olosetsi One thing possibly is to
have pair of undersleeves stiffened gen.
erously and split. Such sleeves, mere
cuffs, of course, are really sleeve hoops.
Being split they eau be rolled to dimen-
sions that permit their introduction into
the armholes; then they can be widened
inside the puff of the dress sleeve and Sc
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1893-03-27
sary or dressing Is going to be q serious

sary or dressing Is going to be q serious
task, indeed, theee days.
About four yards of lavender satin RIB
bon three inches wide and four and half
yards of white lace are required for this
fichu. The ribbon is laid in boz pleats at
the back, and from there gradually mar
rows until it is doubled at the bust. The
lace Is pleated to the ribbon. The fchu
CROSSES In front, as indicated, and meets
in the back near the waist, where 1t Is
fastened with bow of ribbon. A simi-
lar bow Is placed at the neck In the back.
The lace must be of sufficient width to
form the deep epaulettes at the shoulders
FLogKrTu
Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1893-03-27

CURED to that size by basting threads. II
Is good deal easier to take care Of one
pair of such sleeve hoops than to store .
half dozen dresses, each with permanently
inflated sleeves. The biggest sleeves are
made by the introduction of . ruffie of
very stiff crinoline into the arnhols, the
rest of the sleeve having no orinoline.
This ruf7e can Of course be taken out and
put In with some ease, but maid II nsoes-
Arizona republican., 1893-01-17
NEICHBOR JIM.

Everything pleased our ncighbor Jim
 When it rained
 He never complained, But said wet weather suited him 'There is never too much rain for mo, And this is something like,n said he. A cyclone whirled along Its traeK
 And did lem harm
 It broke his arm And stripped the coat from on his back And l would give another limb To see such blow again." said Jim. And when at length his years were told. And his body bent,
 And his strength all spent, And Jim was very weak and old "I long have wanted to know" he said, "How 1t feels to die"-and Jim was dead. The angel of death had summoned him To heaven, orwell
 cannot tell. But knew that the climate suited Jim; And cold or hot, it mattered not It was to him tho long sought spot.
 Atlanta Constitution.
Arizona republican., 1893-01-17

It has been said in explanation of the colors of the United States flag that ''red is supposed to represent courage, white in tegrity of purpose, and blue steadfastness, love and faith"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
Romance Of Emin Psshs.

A pretty little romance is told Of
Emin Pasha, the African explorer
who was the cause of Henry NJ. Stan
ley's expedition. In early life be-
fore leaving Hungary he fell in love
with charming little play mate, still
in short dresses. Although he did
not tell his love, it was so deep that
no other woman has ever shared it.
He retired from society, became a
misanthrope, and did not marry
Long years after, while attending
the wife of Ismail Pasha in his pro-
fessional capacity, he found in her
his former love. The result was the
old story. Ismail, after many hard
ships in war and prison life, died to
make way for Emin, who declared
his love and won the widow.-Oma-
ha Bee.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
Snow Fritters.

Only new fallen snow will make
these fritters, because their lightness
depends upon the air intermingled
with the snow. Have ready frying
kettle half iull Of hot fat; make a
batter with pint Of milk, level
teaspoonful Of salt and enough -four
to- thicken the milk TO the consisten-
cy of griddle cakes; when the fat
begins to smoke quickly stir in a
cupful of fallen snow into the
batter, and dropit by the tsblesp oon-
full into the hot fat; when the fritz
tiers are brown take them up with q
SKINNER and serve them with fine
sugar and fresh but,er.-New York
World.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

Many of our most beautiful and
accomplished ladies die before they
have reached the prime of life. OF
those who live to middle age only
one out of two hundred is sound;
the other one hundred and ninety
nine are sufferers. Why is it
Self-neglect. The shattered health
can be restored, the home made
happy and your life heightened if
you commence at cnce.
Rose Buds" have been used for
20 years in the private practice of
one of the most eminent physicians
of Paris, and the following diseases
and their distressing symptoms yield
to them like magic: liberation,
Congestion, Falling of the Womb,
Ovarian Tumors, Dropsy of the
Womb, Bearing Down Pains, Rup-
ture at Childbirth and Miscarriages.
"ROse Bud" will make new wo-
man Of you.
(Leucorrhea or Whites are gener-
ally cured by one application
Price per package lone months
treatment) Sl.OO sent by mail post
paid, securely packed. The LEV
ERETTE SPECIFIC CO., 339
Washington ST., Boston, Mass.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
Had Him There.

A rather seedy looking individual
one of the large army who live on
their wits, was working the smaller
towns OF the Fort Worth & Denver
city railway as a phrenologist and
was waiting at the depot for his
train to come. He was walking up
and down the platform with his Ilas-
ter-cast head in bag under his aim.
A young farmer who had been max
ing fun OF him said soto voce:
II don't have to make my living
by carrying plaster head under my
arm"
"No," replied the Nseedy phrenolo-
gist, "you carry your plaster head
on your shoulders. Judge.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

E. G. Williams druggist, de-
sires to inform the public that he
is agent for the most successful
preparation that has yet been pro-
duced, tor coughs. colds and Group.
1t will loosen and relieve a severe
cold in less time than any other
treatment. The article referred to
is Chamberlian's Cough Remedy.
1t is a medicine that has won fame
and popularity on its merits, and
one that can always be depended
upon. 1t is the only known remedy
that will prevent Group. 1t must
be tried to be appreciated. 1t ID
put up in so cent and 81 bottles.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

This is the oft expression of the
weary sufferer of Rheumatism, Neu,
ralgia and other painful diseases
The whole human frame is tortured
and racked with pain. It is well to
remember no known medicine equals
Red Flag Oil for Rheumatism, Neu.
ralgia, Sprains and Bruises. Price
IS cents at E. G. Williams, Jr. &
Co., Drug Store.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
What is

is DIR. Samuel Pitchers prescription for snfns
and Children It contains neither Opium, NORTH nor
other Narcotic substance. 1t is harmless ss;i1ute
fer Paregoric, Drops Soothing Syrups, and Castor Oh
II is Pleasant Its guarantee is thirty years. uss BY
ens Of Castoria destroys Worms and allays
feyerishness. Castoria prevents .omtng Sour Curds
cures Diarrhoea and Wind Collie Castoria relieves
tecthing troubles, constipation and fatulency
Castera assmilatcs the food, regulates the stomach
and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Cas-
toria il the Chdrens Panacea-the Mothers Friend.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

Mr.. William T. Price. a Justice
Of the Peace, at Richland, Nebraska
was confined to his bed last winter
with a severe attack of lumbaGo; but
= through application of hamber-
lian's Pain Balm enabled him to get
up and 60 to work. Mr.. Price says:
"The remedy cannot be recommend
too highly Let anyone troubled
with rheumatism, neuralgia or lame
back give it trial, and they will be
of the same opionion. so cent bot.
ties for sale by E. G. Williams Jr
& Co.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

A congssted condition the
threat and bronchial tubes is a dan
gsrous symptom. Inflammation of
the bronchia extending downward
may soon reach and involve the
lungs. Under such circumstances
to avert consumption take DR.. Bulls
Cough Syrup regularly according 10
the directions on the bottle.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

Pearls are the rage.
Queen Victoria has fifty-L ~ "
scendsnts.
The Russian belt continues to 4sel
popular.
Women OF rank go barehsaded
in Mexico.
There are l0S women lawyers in
the United States.
In 5 o'clock ts. no two cups and
saucsrs should be alike.
Harriet Prescott Spodord is fond
OF the womanly employment Of knit
ting.
Patti, the great diva, is proud OF
her needlework, especially u her
darning.
Florence Nightingale says an Ir.
ishm.n makes better husband than
an Englishman.
In Sweden and in Denmark the
Parliaments have voted that the Of
ace Of ssenograrher shall Be allsd by
women.
Mrs. Tel Sono, the Japanese re-
former, who 10 now lecturing in this
country. had the honor of being the
first woman lawyer in Japan.
Reduced to currency, the postage
4 Mrs. Cleyelands morning mail
would amply pay for her gloves,
shoes and slippers for a year at
least
Mrs. Abby Hutchinson, who set
to music Kind Words Can Never
Die" and "Ring Out, Wild Bells"
has just died in New York City.
Mrs. Oracle King, President Of
the Colonial Danes Club, has some
plate which figured at the statelisst
banquets Of the days Of Washington.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
Admitted the Facts,

Newspaper editors have to be
very careful in opening their columns
for statements. But aware that the
DR. Miles Medical Co. are RESPONSE
BILE, we make room for the testimon.
ial from r. McDougall, Auburn,
Ind, who for two years motto d q
stoppage or skipping Of the pulse,
his left side got SO tender he could
not lie on it, his heart futtered, he
was alarmed, went to differe doc
tors, found no relief, but one bottle
of DR.. Miles New Heart Cure cured
him. The elegant book "New and
Startling Facts,' free at A. M. Gill
bert's. It tells all about Heart and
Nervous Diseases and many wondre-
full cures.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

In New York city's miscellaneous
collection Of voters there are SEQ
Armenians.
A block Of marble Is feet long, 5
fact inches wide and 6 feet thick
has been quarrisd in California.
The longest wsrd in the new Cen.
fury dictionary 10 palatopharingsol-
aryngeal. The next longest 10 trans
svbstantiationalist.
The inhabitants of the Asdamar
islands are the smallest race
known human beings-that 10, taken
as an average. The height of q full
grown Andamsndi seldom exceeds
81 isst, and few weigh over sixty
fiv pounds.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

In THE NEAR FUTURE.-Old
Friend-"And so both of your chill
drsn are studying professions"
Hostess-"Yes, my daughter is in
a polytechnic college, studying me-
chanicaI engineering, and my son is
in Paris learning dressmaking." IN.
Y. Weekly.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

Spendall-I gave you that five
dollars as friendly tip. Why dc
yon hand four dollars back?
Waiter-I likes to keep every,
thing on a business basis, sab
Gents wot's SO very friendly wen
dey has money is apt to come round
tryin' to borrer wen dey gets broke
IN. Y. Weekly.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
AMONG THE POULTRY.

There il ne breed that lays eggs
Of uniform color.
The game fowl is the choicest Of
all breeds for the table.
Frou now until spring give the
FIRST meal as early as possible.
Using clean sand is good way OF
keeping the quarters clean.
1t will cost an average of ! cent
week to keep a chick until it is ~
weeks old.
From this time on it will nearly
always be advisable to send the poul-
try to market dressed.
A small hen will lay fully IS large
eggs as large one, and at the same
time will require less room.
When eggs alone are wished there
is no necessity for keeping ROSTERS;
the hens will lay fully as well with
out them.
1t is often the case on the farm at
this time, when stock is being fat.
tened for market, that the hens Will
get too fat to lay.
When the poultry is to be sent to
market dressed there is no advan-
tage in feeding for at least IL hours
before killing.
The nearer eggs for Matching are
kept to q temperature of 40 degrees
the better; extremes either way
should be avoided.
Some one says that coal tar placed
in the drinking water is sure cure
for running nostrils, that so often al
flict poultry at this season.
Chickens that have not grown to
fair size by this time often get
stunted as soon as cold weather ap.
proaches; such need good attention.
To be certain Of COED supply Of
eggs in winter, the pullets should be
at least 9 or 10 months old, and then
be well fed and comfortably abel
tered.
It is always considered by good
breeders that the last eggs of hen $
clutch are not nearly so fertile as the
first, nor are the chickens so strong
and healthy.
Some fowls seem natural y dispos'
ed to contagious diseases, and while
with good care they may be kept up
they should never be used for breed
ing.-St. Louis Republic.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
Mrs Bibbs las the train gives

Mrs Bibbs Gas the train gives a
lurch My goodnessl Are we of
the track?
Mr.. Bibbs-No, we seem to be
running all right. Guess we went
round the curve. We must be ut
Chicago.
Mrs. Bibbs-But Chicago was q
thousand miles off when we started
and we've only been riding an hour.
Mr.. Bibbs-Can't help it. / look
ed at the map Of this railroad and
there amt curve in it till it gets to
Chicago. Hunt up y'r things.-N.
Y. Weekly.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

A DIFFERENT BRAND.-"You are
chewing the the cud of fancy, l sup.
pose ?" said Mr.. Blocker as he APP
preached Miss Wabash, who had
been sitting alone.
"No," replied the fair Chicago
maiden as she moved something
about in her mouth "this is just or
binary plain gum, Mr.. BECKER"
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

He-But couldn't you learn to
love me, Ida?
She-I don't think l could,
George.
He Preaching for his hat)-It is as
/ feared You are too old to learn.
Chicago Tribune.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
The Population OF Martins
burg

Is about 5000, and we would say at
least one-half are troubled with some
affection upon the Throat and Lungs,
as those complaints are, according
to statistics, more numerous than
others. We would advise all our
readers not to neglect the opportu-
nifty to call on their druggist and
get bottle of Kemp's Balsam for
the Throat and Lungs. Trial siss
free. Large bottles SOC. and 81.
Sold by all druggists.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
We TELL YOU

nething new when We state that 1t pays to enraxe
IN permanent, most healthy and pleasant bust
Such lie the business we offer the working class
We teach them how to make money rapidly, and
guarantee every enc who follows our instructions
faithfully the making Of $500. 90 n month.
kvsry ene who takes hold new and works will
surely and speedily increase their earnings; there
can be no question about 1t; others now at work
are doing It, and you, reader, can do the same
This 10 fAe best paying business that you have
ever had the chance to secure You will make
grave mistake II you fail to give 1t trial At once
IL yoa grasp the Situation, and set quickly, You
VIII directly and yourself in Q most prosperous
business, ut which you cau surely make and save
largs sums OF money. The results Of only q few
hours work will often equal a weeks wages.
Whistler ysu are old or young, man or woman, 1t
makes ne difference, - de as we tell you, and sac
cess viii meet you at the very start. Neither
experiences or capital necessary. Those who work
for rs are rewarded. Why not write TO-DAY fol
ftil particulars, free Il. @. ALLEN q CO..
BOX No. 420, Augusta, Ne.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

1T Is A WAY WoMKr HAVE
"Miss Budlong is travelling under an
assumed name"
what on earth is she doing that
for 7"
s'Shs's been married and has as
sumed her husbands name. They
are away on their honeymoon.'-
Puck.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
ID should be i'm Every House.

J. B. Wilson, 37l Clay ST., sharps-
burg, Pa, says be will not be with
out DIR. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Colds,
that it cured his wife who was
threatened with Pneumonia after an
attack Of La Grippe" when various
other remedies and several pbysic-
ians had done her no good. Robert
Barber, Of Cooksport, Pa, claims
DR.. Kings New Discovery has done
him more good than anything he
ever used for Lung Trouble. Moth
ing like it. Try it. Free Trial Bot
ties at e. G. WILLuxs' JR., & Co.
Drug Store. Large bottles, 5Oc.and
$1.00.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

Snow is the winter of our discon-
tent made glorious summer" by
Ayers Ssrsaparilla. This wonder
full medicine so invigorates the sys-
tenn and enriches the blood that cold
weather becomes positively enjoyable.
Attic explorers would do well to
make q note of this.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

GAINING TIME.-Teacher-"Wha
is the height of Pixies Peak?"
Boy-"Do you mean how high it
is above the surrounding country n
"How high is it above the sea! 7"
"Uml at high tide or low tide?n
"Either.n
II forget.n-Good News.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

THEY Could NOT REMEMBER
"What was the name of that man
you pointed out to me yesterday? 2"
signaled one deaf mute to another.
Lets ses," the latter .signalled
back.
ooh, dear, it's odd l can't remem-
Der it, for l have it at my finger
ends. "-Truth.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

JUsr so.--Miss Gertrude's Faith
sr-"You understand me, sir, that
the man my daughter marries must
give her generous allowance
Miss Gertrudss Lover-"My gem
erosity viii be only measured by
yours sir."-ChicagO News Record.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

A DOUBLE Entry ACCoUNT.-Per
dita-"I'll give him credit for get
ting me an engagement ring"
Penslope-"I understand that's
what the jewsler did, too."-Jewel-
er's rcular.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

When does the CHEST walk Z" in
quired new actor Of the treasurer
of q prosperous company.
It doesn't walk at all, respond
ed the treasurer, it rides. How
much do you want?',-Erchanoe.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21
WHE.lk AUTHORITIES pIFEksED.


The reading class vas standing in
stitirow upon the door Of an In
diana school house, and bright lit
tie fed W was drawing 3 paragraph
about ! Roman massacre.
The president of the school board
was present on his regulsr tour OF
inspection, and he pompousIy 10.
quested that the tos tread that verse
again."
The "verse' was read again.
"Ahl himl' said the great man, in
q loud voice. why do you pro-
nouncs that word massa ker?y
The boy was silent.
sit should be pronounced masss-
krs," continued the great man, with
= patronizlng smile.
The boy remained quiet, but the
teacher finally spoke:
pardon me, sir" she said, "but
the fault is mine if the word was
mispronounced. | have taught the
class to pronounce it "massa kerr
"But why?' insisted the great
man, as look of surprise WAS fol
lowed by look of pain upon his
benign features.
IL believe that Webster favors
that pronunciation, said the teacher
meekly.
"Impessible," said the great man
The dictionary was brought, and
the president Of the school board
turned over its leaves until he found
the word. There was a breathless
silence as he looked up.
81 am astonished, madsm,' he
said at last, shat Daniel Webster
should have made such q mistak E Al
that
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

A WAY Out. What can do for
nv little boy" asked mamma, 80
that he won't want to eat between
meals?n
"Have the meals ticker together, y
replied the young gourmand.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

PRoRABLY MADE THEM NERVOUS
Newsport-"The game seems very
wild this year"
Oldsport-"Yes; but not wilder
than the shooting. Puck.
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-01-21

SUFFICIENT UNTo TIE DAY
"What are your hopes for the fu-
tursi" asked the solemn man.
81 have none just now" replied
the youth. ITO morrow is my best
girls birthday, and I'm worrying
about the present. life.