Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1893-02-25
The Selfishness Of Mourning

more ready TO feel for others, there
seems to be no sacrilege in trying tc
iaaugurate gradual adjustment of
the aweeds of woe;n at least an
amendment of the extent of their in
Fiction on the public at large. II
would seem as If death were omni-
present enough TO need no such fire.
quens REM ders as the display of
Grape and TIE unrelieved monotenY
of black In the dress of those bereav-
ed. Because we have private and
sacred grief. why should we tell It TO
everybody as far as the eye can seef
Why should we infict the often psin-
full thoughts OF death on the mer-
chant in his business, on the chill
dren in the street, on our friends to
whom we really wish no sad
thoughts.
If it be answered that the dress OF
mourning is so common a sight IN
city streets as to excite no interest,
then, though the answer is wrong, it
could yet be proved by it that the
garb Of grief is in this respect at
least useless. On the contrary. how
ever, many sensitive or nervous peo-
| pie and invalids are given an I'M
pleasant and unwholesome shock by
the awful black attire; and to pass
| it, or sit next to voluminous mass
Of sitting Grape, is to receive chill
like the damp of the grave. 1t
seems, therefore, only Christian that
we should spare others the infection
OF gloom which, in the presence OF
a greater gloom, or through the har-
denment of habltual use. we who
wear the weeds of woe do not feel.
When we GENE to consider "mourn-
| ing" as way of giving vent to our
own feelings, there may be two sides
to the question, but the brighter side
would suggest its being done away
with to great extent, if not alto
gether. Shall we delegate our grief
to our clothes If there is shat
within that passeth outward show"
do not "the trappings and suits of
woe" seem q making light of The real
grief by the very inadeqdacy of the
expression9 One will say that it
relieves one from the intrusion of
worldly pleasures or social enjoy
ment, from the temptation to forget
our sorrow. What sad admission !
A real sorrow is lifelong. A sor-
row OF the heart grows with our
| growth, as we learn to appreciate our
loss, and rightly viewed becoTg one
OF our strongest and best of angels.
Let rs, then, not fear the forgetting
of real sorrow by the ole who ex-
| periences 1t.
| A sorrow, then, being lifelong,
| should not be restricted in its ex-
preston TO a period of six months, a
year, or two years, as fashion die
tates in the various degrees of be-
reavement. The very idea OF fash
| ion in the realm of grief should make
fashionable manifestations fits pres
ence most distasteful to all sane and
refined people. Fashion in sorrow
must ultimately lead US to the inane,
where feeling is unknown. To Ger
tain extent there is at least plausi-
excuse in the adoption of mourning
emblems by those of extended social
connections and duties. But the ex'
cuse limps in that it acknow Wedges
that the hundreds OF friends" or
the visiting list are, after all, not in
innate enough with US to be able te
remember our Affections and exer
else the proper forbearance. So the
advocates of mourning" would con
less, first, that they mourn through
the medium of their clothes; second
that they have TO adopt mourning al
defence from the intrusion Of theil
friends. As We have seen, the in
Fiction of gloomy apparel on tn
public whom we do not know, ant
who do not know us-is violation
of the Golden Rule. Fashions il
mourning stationery, in mourning
head gear, in mourning livery,-wha
q hollow sound they havel Doe
"mourningn help to keep alive th'
: memory of the dead2 Possibly, t.
.. some; bat who of the dead would
! care for remembrance thus perpetu
!. ated, associated with sombre image
: ry? And must it be written tina
I "mourning becomes some people
and that it has been worn beyon'
. even the fashionable period for tina
reason? What sense of grief, or th
sacredness OF sorrow, or the solem
nifty of death, is conveyed when
rosy -cheeked person developed il
Grape comes into street-car laugh
ing and chattering with compan
ion! Is it not travesty2 One can
J not hope that the aged, accustomed
to the usage, win abandon il at once
if it eases their grief to so display il
who would forbid them. who hav
lost so many of their life friends
In the very old there is, If anywhere
an approach to appropriateness i
the wearing Of at least partial black
But the discarding of excessiv
mourning display may well be begu
| - Al. yr,rnor ard middle aUad Es