St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-11-26

powers that govern the universe so ar
ranged the great coSmic machinery from
the beginning of time. that it turned
out the goat and goat cart for Billy Just
III time to prevent Billy'S life from be-
coming shattered by disappointment
and hope deferred. This goat and his
goat cart put little Billy Claggett for a
time III harmony with the great uni
verse.
But the universe and Billy Claggett
never got along together for any length
OF time. Billy began 10 droop from
ehhnl. He soon became too blase for
goats and goat carts to please his So
pilSticated tastes. Once more he
reached out for the unattanable.
The unattainable this time was
pony But it seemed as easy for Billy
70 become the owner of certain real es-
tate lots on the other side of the moon
As To become the owner of popy. He
cried Pony. pony!' But there was no
pony. Blliy now grew entirsly out of
sorts with the universe. He said: "The
universe may go its way and | will go
mine We have nothing i'll common"
But the universe didn't get angry.
and at length out Of its abysmal depths
OF possibility it produced a pony for
Billy CIaggett.
Was Billy Claggett happy? On, yes
for whole day. But Billy soon dis
covered that he was too big boy tor
ponies. He must go to school and col
lege and become learned and great and
ricn: 80 he went to school and filled his
head full OF rules aud eXceptionS-and
as rule lie forgot the exceptions, and
IL was an exception when he remembered
the rules. And he studied dead Ian
guageS for eight years, and he became
SO wonderfully proficient in them that
he could almost read them by the help
of a translation.
But still. with all his wonderful
learning, there was something the mat
ter with Billy. But perhaps we had
better call him William now-for the
sweet drama of love had come into Will
lam's life. and it is entirely out of Con-
sonance with the eternal harmony of
Things TO call young man "Billy" who
SPENDS an hour ana a half in adjusting
MS necKtle, and who languishes and
yearns. Billy cannot yearn; only Will
lam can yearn.
And William yearned. But the sweet
object of his dreams was unattainable.
es, as unattainable as the pony, or the
dog, or the goat. But there Is one
curious thing about unattainable things
1t Is very easy to obtain them.
And William got his girl, as the wise
reader knew he would all the time. Did
they live happily together? Tush!
tash! 1t is not my business to retail
family gossip. l simply digress right
here and say that William went into
politics.
He now wanted to go to congress as
bad as ever he wanted that goat. And
so lie went round TO all the rallies and
TOOK a large assortment of gestures
WITH him and great variety of facial
expressions, and told the people that
nothing but his election would restore
confidence to the country, ana that his
opponent was a bad man who had been
corrupted by British gold, and was
working for the interests of Europe.
But Billy-pardon mellon. William
w. Claggett, of Claggettsville, was elect
ed,because the universe was on his side,
as was also Patrick O'Flaherty, boss
of the Fort ward.
But still there was something the
matter with Hon. William w. Claggett,
OF CHARLOTTESVILLE. 1t is true he got ali
his speeches he didn't make printed in
the Congressional Record. But he grew
tired or the perpetual round of legiSla-
ton and longed to get into the United
States senate. where egiSlation is not
permitted. Now he says if he can get
elected president and have million
dollar monument built over his remains
when he dies, and his son, William
Claggett Jr., can succeed to his wealth
and political power, he will be per-
tectly happy.
But he wouldn't be- And why
wouldn't he? Why? Because he is
just like the rest of us. And have
just told this story, anyway, in kind
of sneaking way that have, in order
that the reader in the mirror Of Hon
William w. Ciaggett, may behold his
own countenance. L have been talking
about William w. Claggett. But thou
art the mani And so am L! And l am
glad of it. For when a man becomes
entirely satisfied, it is time for his
friends to make arrangements for his
funeral services.