davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
THE ADMINISTRATIONS WISHES

VIII Govern Mr. Crisp In the Organ
ization of tho House-Mr. BANDS POSI-
tion.
New YORK, July 29.-The Worlds
Washington special says: Mr.. Crisp
will organize the house in harmony
with the wishes OF the administration.
This is not due necessarily TO any agree
ment he has made, but because he de-
sires to carry into effect Democratic
policy. And Democratic policy he be-
lieves is that which has 0een deter
mined upon IS best by the administra-
ton. Whether Mr.. Bland goes TO the
head of the coinage committee or not
that committee will favor the uncondi-
tional repeal of the Sherman act. As
to Mr.. Bland himself 1t is not deter
mined that he will again be Chairman.
That rests largely with himself. II he
is appointed Chairman the major
ity OF hlf COMMITTEES Will
not be in sympathy with his
free coinage sentiments. The leading
committees of the House all be In accord
with the Presidents views. In other
words, the Heuse OF the Fifty-third
Congress will bo differently organized
from the House OF the Fifty second Con-
gress. Mr.. Crisp has expressed his pur-
pose to the members OF the administra-
tIon to organize his committees that
they will be help TO the Presidents
wishes. Mr.. Crisp could not be elected
without a contest, possibly not at all. II
he had not been thus inclined, for when
unity Of action with the administra-
ton.
Besides the changes that will be made
In the coinage committee, there will be
a radical change in the complexion OF
the ways and means, The appropriations
and the rules committees.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
viii Burn smith In EmEy.

CINCINNATI, o., July GA dispatch
from Portsmouth, Ohio, to the Enquirer
says that at Rome, Ohio, the action Of
the Pension Department on dropping
from the rolls old soldiers will result in
the burning in effigy tonight Of Secre-
tary Hoge Smith. The man is j. l..
Reed and he is SO years Of age. His
pension was his only means OF support.
Losing It affected his mind so that be is
now q maniac and will have TO be taken
to an asylum. de was member OF
Colonel Robert G. Ingersolps Eleventh
Illinois Cavalry. His pension has not
been cancelled but discontinued pending
Investigation.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30

LospoS. July 29.- The annual ma
nouvres between the red and blue
squArdrons began with the declaration
OF war A. 10 o'clock last night The
red fleets, under Vice Admiral II. Fair
far, consists OF thirty-one men OF war
and sbout dozen torpedo boats. The
blue Geets, under the command OF Rear
Admiral Fitzroy, are Of approximately
similar strength. The objects OF the
msnouyres are--on the one side, 70 OBJ
tain command OF the Irish sea; on the
other side. 70 prevent this. Already =
series Of slight mlshaps have been re-
ported.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
MYSTERIOUS EXPLOSION.
A Child Terribly Hurt Near Parkcrsburg'
Explanations offered.


spssidl telegram 20 ne sunday Recsstsr.
PARKERsBuRo, w. VA, July 29.--Last
evening while MIR. John Wyatt and family,
who live below the Little kanawha, were
sitting In their house, little May, n pretty
little daughter about or 10 years old,
started 10 20 out on the porch. just as she
reached the door and stepped outside ter
rible explosion took place, shaking
the house and knocking down loose articles.
When the family recovered from
the shock and ran out, they found the
little girl laying on tbeporch covered WITH
blood apd terribly manglcd. one hand
was cohpletely torn "a, and ono or two
fingers wero torn frpsS tsA-QiRer. 5he
was also fearfoliy torn about - chest,
and was covered with blood. She
living but her injuries are probably -
No one can account for tho terrible aifk,s,.
There are several theories, OF course. One
of them is that some rniscreant
threw dynamite cartridge on the
porch, and another Is that some
OF the boys had found n dynamite cart
ridge and had carelessly left II on the
porch and that the little girl had picked 10
up without knowing its dangerous charac-
ter. The mystery OF the AFFAIR has deep
ened since II became known that number
OF persons saw the explosion, and none saw
any smoke. No powder marks can 90
found on tho girl and no pieces OF metallic
substance, such as would have beer fQund
had IL been dynamite cartridge.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
CHOLERA REPORTED AT VARIOUS PLACES

ROME, July 29.-The TTIbund says
that up to last evening there had been
2s cases Of cholera and IS deaths in the
province Of Alessandria.
ATHENS, July 29.-The Greek Consul
in Naples telegraphs that there have
been 4 fresh cases Of cholera and ,
deaths in that city in the last "a hours.
The Trtbund in Rome, he ssys,aeknowl-
edges that there have been few iso-
lated cases OF cholera In Naples, but
does not concede more.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
Carnegie May cIs.s Down.

PrrrsBURo, Pa, July 90 "A Braddook,
Pa. special says: at IL said the Edgar
Thomson Steel works OF Carnogie's are
about to shut down indefinitely In oil de-
partments during the coming week or az
tAe furthest the week after.
"The fact that two furnaces were blown
out on Thursday AID another yesterday,
furnauce A, the oldest OF the plant
lends color. 20 the report that the mill Is
about 20 suspend operations. Nothing can
be learned officially OF its Affairs. There
are still six furnaces running. but 40 mon
are laid on
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
Accidentally shot.


HUyTrseToS. W. VA. July 2o.-At
Rockuood, Ohio, opposite this city, an
accidental shooting took place az 5
O'clock this evening and Gus Kimble.
aged 16. lies in 9 serious condition from
a buIIet wound in the right thigh. de
and Chauncey Crawford, also 10, were
nrotecting the peach orchard OF the lat
ser,, father from thleves and bad armed
themselves. In chasing cuiprit who
rad entered the orchard Cravford's gun
vas accidentally discharged, and the
bnIlet struck MS partner, Kimble. as
sboys stated. Physicians called think
nat the wound will not prove fatal.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
Increased capital for = eIa.. works,
sp.aal Tsl.orap 70 u. sunday R.oitr.

EVANSVILLE. O., July 29.-The Board
OF Trade committee to-day completed
the work Of securing the subscription
10 $50, 900 additional capital stock,
which will be used IN putting . tank
system in the Kearns-Gorsuch glass
works. When this is done the plant
will resume operations with force OF
over 300 workmen and pay roll OF
81, 600 q week.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
nobody want. Boads.


HUSTrSGroS, w. VA, July 2o.-Blds
for the sale OF the $4,000 paving and
sewerage bonds issued By the city and
extensively advertised were 70 be opened
this evening, but when the finance COM
mite met the clerk informed them that
not q bid had been received. They wiz
he read yertised.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
THE AUSTRIAN HEIR APPARENT.
He win Visit the Fair, But Will Travel
IncOgnitO.

Spscfo! TsIspram to ne sunday Rt01S'sr'
WASHINGTON, D. c., July 29.-An-
other royal visitor is on his way 10 the
United States to see the Worlds FAIR
This is hisimperial highness, Arc duke
Franz Alexander, Of Austria, the helr
presumptive to the throne OF Austria
and Hungary The news OF his Visit
came to Washington to-day In the
form of a private telegram from Van
couver. B. c., saying that preparations
are being made there for the recep-
tlon of the Grand Duke and party,
who are now making tour OF the
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
rxoDerated her Old Father.

CHARLESTON, S. c., July 29.-Ada
Hers. q negro, was hanged at Water
boro yesterday for the murder OF per
half brother last June She eonfe I'd
on the scaffoId that her aged fsthe' =
was also convicted but respiteob
ernor TiIIman. had nothing
the crime
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
aarsrnnr rl.hbaet pylnr.

LITTLE Rock, ARK, July ze.-P
yats Secretary Fiippin has been aesi
from Fort Smith that bis chief. 20
nor Fishback Of Arkansas, - a.
The physician In atteDdapee deem
impossible for The governor 70 "
tIl night.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
West Virginia PostmasterS.
n 7sls0reyn N shs .S,sndny R.1i,,--

Special 7sIS0rGs5 20 re SuHddv Register.
WASHINGTON, D. c., July 29.-The
following postmasters were appointed
to-day In West Virginia: at Conaway,
Tyler county, Henry Kerns in place Of
81. E. Wise, resigned; at Fort Fay,
Wayne county, w. J. Frazier in place
OF S. G. Ratleff, resigned; at Victoria,
Fayette county, A. J. Taylor in place
OF A. d. Taylor, resigned.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30

word and who are
expected to reach
that port early Ia
September. T h e
Grand Duke is
travelling incogni-
to, and. therefore,
will not be recelv-
ed in an official
capacity. He will
make an extensive
tour Of the United
States, begin ming
with a shooting ex-
pedition In the val
ley OF the Yellow
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30

KANSAS CRY, No., July 29.-Chief
Of Police Spears. acting under author
ity OF State Law fOrbidding railway
companies 70 bring panpsrs into the
State, intercepted at State line.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
YESTERDAYS BASE BALL GAMES.

At Cincinnati, seasonable batting won
the game for Pittsburg. The Reds, after
driving Ehret out of the box, were unable
TO bat Killen at all successfully. Attend
ance, 5000.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30
OUR FOREST EXHIBIT
At the Worlds Fair Attracts Uni
VerSal Attention.
PROMINENT WEST VIRGINIANS

Who Have Been at the Fair This
Week-Col. st. Clair Attends a
Meeting Of the Council Of Ad-
ministration, but Says Nothing.
The Fair Will be Open To-day.
a Interesting Incident.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1893-07-30

WASHINGTON, d. c., July 2l-Ths navy
department to-day awarded tracts Tor
|, Supplying about : million .s a .os 8. p sseei
cnlnns 1of Pennxyl 4iA
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
THE BODY FOUND.


The Police Were Right In Their sus-
piclOns Concerning Wife Murderer
AMSTERDAM, September 26.-It would
now appear that the police Of this city
did not not discover a mares nest"
when they, on September 20, made an
arrest which they claimed would result
10 unfolding a series OF crimes similar
20 those Of Deeming, the Anglo-AuStra-
Ian wife murderer, for the body of one
OF the prisoners victims has been
found.
In June last it appears HendricE De
JOng, a HOllander, married IN England
8 young English girl named Sarah jew
EFT and they passed their honeymoon
here. Soon after arriving here Mrs.
De JOng disappeared and il was current
~ reported that she had grown tired Of
Holland and Of Dutch customs and that
she had returned 20 England. De JOng
was then reported 90 have married, iu
August last, the pretty daughter OF a
local inn-keeper. Strange 10 relate she
also disappeared soon after the marriage
and ugly rumOrs began TO gain cirCula-
zion. These reports reached the ears Of
the police and an investigation
followed, which led TO the arrest Of De-
jong. The English police, 10 appears,
were communicated with previous 70
the arrest OF the HOllaDdey, and il is
said they led the authorities here 20 be-
lieve that a series OF wife murders
might have been committed by the
prisoner In England. This led TO
searches for bodies both IN England and
Holland with no success for some days.
In fact on Saturday last the editor Of a
local paper insisted that a woman he
believed 70 be Sarah JeWett COR Mrs.
Dejong) had called upon him re-
Gently Che could not remember the
exact date OF the visit and has offered
some drawings, her own work for sale,
saying that she intended 20 go TO the
United States with the proceeds Of these
drawings. The editor did not buy the
, Woman's work, but later On, he in-
formed the police of the occurrence and
hen the facts leaked(ouL both the
lglish and - ls0iice were jeered at
the mYstsS Gus hints as 90 wholesale
mupd6f~ which they had thrown
But to-day the laugh was turned
against the sCOffers, for the body
OF Mrs. levitt, Dejong's English
wife, was found in WOlfehesen
Wood, near Arnham, Oh the Rhine,
forty miles from this city. There seems
no doubt that the poor girl has been
murdered, and her husband is believed
to be the murderer. The police Of this
country have renewed their eEertions to
get at the bottom Of the Dejong mys-
terry, and hope soon to find the body of
the innkeeper's sister, for nobody
doubts that the latter has also been
put out Of the way.
These facts have been cabled to the
English police, aud 10 is believed that
Dejong's victims are numerous and 70
be found on both sides Of the channel.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
From down about welch.


WEIGH, w. VA, September Is
Shipments Of timber and lumber have
Increased so rapidly at Wyoming City,
in the lower end of the county, that the
Norfolk and Western has been con-
strained to advance the agent at that
point to the first grade. Commissions
to the ac,nt last month amounted to
5000, aud an regular agents salary
amounts 10 about one-tourth that sum.
II is q cold day when railroad cannot
see some way TO economic.
Quite a number Of Wyoming county
citizens left here Saturday night for
the Worlds Fair.
A Wyoming county man hauled a
walnut knot 10 Davy one day last week,
for which he received $50.
Ex-Sheriff D. H. Hannah, ST., left
for the Hot Springs in Arkansas last
Sunday morning. He expects to stay
there for some time aud see IL he can
not receive some relief from rheuma-
tism.
Mcdowell Criminal Court will con-
vene on the 9th proximo. There are
forty felony and four hundred misde-
mesper cases on the docket, and the
term is apt to be protracted one.
Considerable complaint comes from the
ipsufficiency OF room in the county jail.
There are only Accommodations for
tWenty-four prisoners, while there are
at present thirty-four confined in that
building. There should be some speedy
convictions TO make room, or new cells
houId be added at once.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
Confesssd his Horrible Crime.

HARRIsBURG, PA, September 20
BENJAMIN Tennis, farm hand, con-
tossed to-day that be outraged and then
murdered little Agnes Wright near
Hummelstown one week ago. Suspi-
cion rested on Tennis, aud he was ar
rested this morning while cutting corn
on a neighhoring farm. He broke down
Immediately aud made full confession.
lie said he concocted the scheme on
The night Of September 18th and made
the assault the next morning as the
child was on her way 10 school. The
little girl said she was going TO tell on
him, aud with this the brute tore her
underclOthing aud, wrapping them
around her neck, strangled her 10
death. He then secreted her In the
uuderbruSh, where she was found the
next evening The child was only nine
years Old. Tennis is forty-two years OF
age. a widower, and the father of seven
children. de is now In Jail Excite
ment is high, but there is NOT likely to
be a lynching.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
Empsror william Austria.

VIENNA, September 26.-Emperor
William OF Germany arrived at Hetzen,
where one OF the Austrian mperial
chateux is situated, at $40 this morn
ing and was received at the southern
railway station in downpour OF rain
by Emperor Francis Joseph who wore
the uniform Of Prussian &c eral. The
two Emperors kissed each other twice
in the most cordial manner possible. III
spite Of the rain, Emperor William after
arriving at Schoenbrunn proceeded TO
Laiz and Thiergarten, on deer shoot
ing expedition.
Shortly before Emperor William ar
rived az Schoenbrunn, a supposed luna
tic who said that be had been ordered
to wait upon the German Emperor, was
arrested and taken TO the nearest police
depot.
The Austrian Reichsrath meets on
October 10.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
he WAS A PROTESTANT
49, ats Wife Cathono-rhey Quarrelled
-uoat kdneasing the children, aud Now
Both Are Dead.

@ee ais wife Cathono-rhey Quarrened
Auoat Educating the children, aud Now
Both Are Dead.
a. flrrsBURG, PA, September 20
samuel ID. Stodhart, a car accountant
az the Carnegie Steel Company, shot
ms vile 10 the heart while she was
Sieeplng and then placing the muzzle
Of the revolver 10 his mouth, sent
bullet crashing into his own brain.
ne tragedy occurred at 5:35 this morn
log az the home OF StOdhart on Point
View avenue, East End.
insanity caused by religious differ
enees aud dependency over business
troubles ere the causes which led TO the
awful deed. Stodhart was forty-6ve
years OF axe and his wife two years his
junior The couple had been married
sixteen years and had seven children,
the eldest being girl fifteen years old.
Mrs. StOdhart was a Catholic aud the
two frequently Quarreled over the edu-
cation Of the children. Recently St0d-
harts salary was reduced fifteen per
cent, aud this also preyed on his mind.
lie arose about 1--WE o'clock this morning
and after smoking a cigar took a
bulldog revolver and fired at his sleep
Ing wife. The first shot killed her.
He then turned the weapon upon him
self aud ended his miserable existence.
The children were awakened by the
shooting aud rushed out Of the house
screaming with fright. When the
neighbOrs arrived Stoddart and his wife
were dead.
That the crime was premeditated is
evident from the fact that last night be
told his eldest boy that times were hard
and u anything happened 10 90 to the
neighbOrs.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
Campbell FSe President.
Enst Ltrsrpool lOl Crtsts.

Ex-Governor Campbell was in Wash
lngton at the time of Mr.. Deidrick'S re-
cent xisit there. He expressed the live
Hest interest IN the condition Of affairs
in this place and sends words OF cheer
TO the fighting Democracy Of East
Liverpool to continue in their good
work; that the eye Of a grateful coun-
try appreciate their effort. II is we'll In
this connection to note that Governor
Campbell is Cleveland's most trusted
adviser so far as Ohio is concerned, and
that the President largely defers to the
Judgment OF the Governor in the dis
posal Of patronage in Ohio. Campbell
is the coming nominee for the Presi-
dency, if indications do not deceive.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
Federal Election Laws.


Possibly it was q little injudicIous for
Democrats in Congress to precipltate
fight over the federal election laws at
this time instead Of waiting until some
settlement OF the financial question
had been accomplished. We rather
think they have made mistake. But
whether they have or not, the intima-
tions Of Republican leaders, amounting
to threats, that the repeal by Congress
of the election laws will bring about
the failure OF the needed financial legis-
lation, are utterly unpatriotic and in
desensible. The threats probably
amounts TO nothing but bluff; but II
they should be carried out it would not
be the first time, by great many, that
the grand old party has subordinated or
sacrificed the public welfare to partisan
interests.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
rrantah Ksen Ri. Place.

PITTsBURG, PA, September %. -
VIM. O'Brien, a non-unjon iron worker,
who was discharged from the Lockhart
Iron and Steel Works when the strike
was declared of and the old men taken
hack procured q bulldog revolver and
went % the works 70 Kill General Man
aqer George Tatlin. He was disarmed
bv two deputy Sherilfs who were still on
61tv and lodged iu jail, charged with
carving concealed weapons. BE was
angry because be had been displaced by
a striker.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
CATARRHAL NEURALGIA
Affecting Principally the Stomach.
Endorsement Of Treatmentand Cure
By a WelI-knOwn Young Lady Of
Wheeling.

Neuralgia OF stomach"
"Pains very severe at times"
would almost lose console usness.
'Gagging and vomiting
, s'Nostrils stopped up
''Mucus dropping in throat
''Severe pain over eyes.
Ringing in ears"
pains through chest.
DRY hacking cough
Feet ami ankles tecame swollen.
The above were the distressing symptoms In
Miss Eta Evans case when she first consulted
Drs. Copeland, Bell and Davis. Miss Evans,
who resides at 2l04 Chapiine street ana IS
stenographer for the Joseph Speidel grocery
Company, gives her statement Tor publication
as follows: ANY one suffering from catatrn
and stomach trouble as have should give DrS-
Copeland. Bell and Davis trial have recon-,
meuded their treatment 10 others and still
recommend it. for have been greatly benent-
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
nnlre = neaxr EmbezzIsr.

BUFFALO, II. Y, September 90
John Legs, OF Toronto, Queens counsel
and member OF the Ontario Legislature
who led from tbis city last week, is
now 40 hiding near this city. Legs was
legal adviser to the Threshold and
Lion Association, and this, with his
other fees from other corporations,
gave him an income OF over $4,000.
He managed several rich estates and he
appears TO have embezZled every cent
of trust funds in his chatge, bringing
his defalcationa with his debts 70 $780,
600
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27

CLEVELAND, O., September Ca
s,ecial from THIN, Ohio, says: The
ififn Agricultural Works, one Of the
i5rgest manufacturiEg industries in this
civ has gone into the hands Of re-
ceiver. The company has a large
amount OF manufactured stock on hand
which 10 could not turn into money, but
Il otherwise in good financial condition.
no statement of assets and liabilities
has vet been given out
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
canadlan immigration a FAILURE.

OTTAWA ONT, September 26.-Immi-
grotion into Canada this year has proved
failure. For the first seven months
o,fv . 400 homesteads were taken up IN
tba northwest, decrease Of 25 per cent
.o,o nared with last year while the num-
hsr ~ settlers arriving fell of p per
cent The largest decline is IN the
onmber Of emigrants who leave Great
R~itaiD and Ireland for Canada.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
Competent OmeIal.
WayHe Nelrs.

Col. S. S. Vinson seems to make
everything connected with the Office OF
L. S. Marshal Of his district move along
lust like a Pullman car on a nice
smooth road. Just as everything moves
that he takes hold Of Hope all the de-
partments will do likewise, so the peo-
pie NAV have peace and rejoice, and
the Democratic party be still stronger.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
Wreck on the b. 8 o. S. W.
Il, $500 . b. Rszts.sr.

PARKERsBURG, w. VA, September
ga bad freight wreck occurred on
B. & o. Southwestern this afternoon
near Athens, o. A number Of cars
were smashed and the track torn up
and DISTRACTED to such an extent tha
east bound trains due here at 5'45 p. m.
had not arrived a. 8 p. N. No lives
were lost.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
What They arc Talking About
!SAepAerdstoUn Register.

Six months of this administration
gone-and Republican postmasters still
drawing fat salaries at Wheeling, Par
kersburg, Huntington, Martinsburg,
Clarksburg, Grafton, Charles Town,
and, indeed, all over the State. What's
the matter with BisSell?
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1893-09-27
IN Ia 81 in session.

mrs MONIES, Iowa, September 20
m. fo-tv-seventh annual convention OF
lta National Council Of the United
49, ....-fcon Mechanics began here this
a -. This is the first meeting ever
IT, ~ : .-est Of the Mississippi river. Del
hs.4 are here from nearly every State
az the Onion.