davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

must not obstruct the passageway.
'But we have our return tickets and
we want to 60 back to the city," Then
the rigid marine nearly falls over. He
stuffs his white cotton glove in his
mouth, presents arms to naval dig
nitary who is just then coming on
board, and concludes for a moment to
enjoy the fun. Presently he observes
signs of impatience on the part Of the
gentlemen from KokomO, and, as was
the case the other day, the latter be-
gan to abuse the steamship company
for it's dilatoriness. '"These worlds
fair people don't keep their promises
nohow. Here, they said these boats
were going to run every, ten minutes.
We have got our return tickets and we
have been sitting here nearly half an
hour and no sign Of a move; more peo-
pie seems to be goin' off the boat than
is coming on and she is chained fast
to the dock; confound these show peo-
pie anyhow" About this time the
rigid marine feels it his duty to en-
tighten the man from Kokomo, and he
gently intimates that perhaps the gen
tleman has got on the wrong boat.
Capt. Taussig says that this amusing
bIunder occurs in some form nearly
every day.
A Marvel of Deception.
The ship is indeed wonderful de-
ception. She sits the water like a
thing Of ife;" she is moored to the
rlanlzs out, she is painted white and
wharf by chain cables she has gang
is perfect counterpart Of the battle
ship Indiana now approaching compile
ton in Philadelphia. There is no rec
ord kept, but it is probable that no less
than 10000 people visit the ship daily.
Gunner Walsh, who has charge of the
ordnance of the 7essel, which, by the
way, is about the only genuine thing
about her, says that the stream of peo-
pie who enter the after gangway, go
through the ship and depart by the for
ward gang way is incessant. 1t is only
now and then that anybody comes
along who has an intelligent conception
of what a modern man-Of-War is. They
know something about guns and forti-
| fcatons, but the inside of ship they
have never seen. The majority of peo-
! pie are impressed from the very begin
ming; they come on board with a feel
ing Of uncertain curiosity; they look
about the spacious decks, into the COM
Portable, not to say luxurious cabins,
and then their ideas of what a man-of-
war is begin to expand. 1t is hard to
say with which special department
they are most impressed. Rural visit
ors to the ship care very little about
the guns or. the armament. They in,
spect, however, closely the quarters
of the officers and the accommodate tions
of the men. They look through the
chartroom with great interest and
listen attentively to the explanations
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

Complained of Not Receiving Cour-
teous Treatment.

Complained of Not Re,ceivinE Cour-
teous Treatment.
''When was down in North Carolina
last,' remarked the drummer, says the
Detroit Free ress, II met n mount
aineer beauty in Asheville for Il day
sightseeing. She was tall and angular
and her calico dress and limp sun bon
net Of the same material clung to her
as if they had no other support in the
wide world. Her face was freckled and"
her teeth showed that she either
dipped or hit the pipe. met her iHs
the railroad station, waiting for a.,
train, and she spotted me on sight.
"'Ain't you a drummer| she in-~
quired.
I'm a travelling salesman 1 re-
piled. What will you have?
"'I want to know about my trains
an ther' amt nobody round that seems
to know anything. Drummers know
it ALL she laughed.
Il told her what shes wanted to
know, and then she blanched off:
- I wuz over thar in the mems side:
Of the depot Il while ago. she said,.
1ookin' round, an when I went in.
thar every man was smokin', and the
way they created me wus real in
sultin'.'
You didn't expect them to stop
smoking when you came in, did your
I asked. That's their waiting roomr
you know, and they have the right Of
way
''She tapped the floor with the toe
of her big calfskin shoe moment.
But they might have been polite"
she continued weakly
What you want them to dog
'Welr, some Nv 'em,' and here she
pouted' might a axed me to smoke
Then 1 offered her my cigar case
and she took all had and smiled"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22
A LAWYERS MISTAKE.

He Mistook a Promising Client for a.
Map Peddler.
I'm a poor book agent began the
| tall stranger as he entered a well
known lawyers Office in the Potter
building and placed parcel on a.
| friendly chair. But I have"
Don't want any books growled the
| counsellor with scarcely a glance at
the man.
"But, sir, I have given up that line
| and am now selling maps Still that
is"
"Never use 'em, don't want 'em,.
| wouldn't have 'em at any prlce."
'Sir, map selling is not
"NoW, see here exclaimed the
| lawyer wrathfully, whirling around in
and rising from his revolving chair and
facing the persistent fellow, 'I wish
you to distinctly understand that / will
| not buy books, maps, porous plasters,
| liver pads, stationery, eye shades mus
tache curriers', corkscrews, needle
threade1s, patent buttons, invisible ink,
| corn eradicators, popular songs, photo
graphs nor paper weights nothing
whatever, see? Now, get OUT =
VERY well, sir, will leave; but be-
fore taking my departure let me say.
this: Map selling was not my business.
with you. mentioned that only by,
!, way of introducing myself. My inten--
ton was to retain you as counsel in a.
contest of the will of my aunt who,
died recently, leaving an estate in Put
nam county valued at some S75. 900.
but that is past and he gathered up
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

but it could only be a blind. He had
heard all. @~A -
.We are lost!' she said.
3 t'Lost!'' said the. gallant gentleman,
following her look.
eyes! Poismenu is a terrible retailer
of scandal
81 The pair fled.
There wasn't t much sleep for madame
that night. Her husband would surely
hear everything from Poismenu
Z But in the morning things looked
different After ALL what had hap
pened? She ought to be able to set
matters right. Besides, did Poismenu
know? Had he heard?
To find out she decided to attend a
soiree the next night at which her en-
tire set would be, and which she
originally meant to excuse herself from
at the last moment upon a preteXt of
sudden illness. She would get ahead
of Poismenu at dinner by telling of her
visit to the museum, her unexpected
meeting with the gallant gentleman,
her exaltation over the arts, etc. No
there was nothing to fear.
In spite Of her assurance, however
she felt nervous when entering hel
hosts house with her husband at he1
side. She soon lost that feeling. how
ever, in the general hilarity of the
evening.
One guest had not yet come-Pois
menu. Suddenly he was announced
Then they all went in to dinner.
Eating has a notoaiously humanizins
/! and expansive effect. When the des
sert had arrived it is only matter OF
course that the stories and the laugh
ter commenced.
Let me tell you something start
ling" said one guest.
ALI attention.
''There is a man we all know an(
whose jealousy is proverbial. Need
less to name him. He's remarkably
fond of fishing. Now his wife is il
love with a young doctor who lives il
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

rifle. The patience with which Ensign
Blow and Gunner Walsh explain to the
crowds, some appreciative, and some
just the reverse, the mechanism and
power of these guns is truly commenda-
BILE. and yet they must have their
jokes; the strain upon them would be
too great were they allowed no pleas
antries. The other day dear old
Quaker lady with a drab shawl and the
conventional Quaker bonnet, came on
board and wandered listlessly about.
Gunner Walsh saw her, and with that
urbanity which so distinguishes him,
approached her and asked what she
particularly wished to see. She said
she wanted to see one of those "mur-
derous implements''. Of which she had
read and whose existence in the world
she so much deplored. Mr.. Walsh
rubbed his clean shaven chin moment
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22
They Know All About 1t.

They Know All About 1t.
of how a great ship is handled at sea.
The lady visitors pay particular atten-
ton to the ships galley and to the Gu
inary department. and all good house
keepers cOmmen d the absolute clean
liness of the mess tables and the cook
ing utensils. The paymaster's depart
ment is also the object Of a great deal
Of interest, and particularly that
branch of it known as Small stores"
In the days of the old navy it used to
be saying that a paymaster had ev-
erything for sale from hairpin to a
kedge anchor, but if that were true of
the old navy it is infinitely more true
to-day. In those days Jack had to live
on salt pork and salt beef He combed
his hair with a COW brush and scrubbed
his clothes with a curry comb. The
only vegetable he ever get at sea was
a patent thing called desicated vegeta-
bles. Every farmer knows what a
silo is and how green food for stock is
prepared by the silo for use. Desicated
vegetables We're prepared in the old
days precisely the same way. Jack
used to call them "desecrated vegeta-
bles," and the name was inapt, for a
viler compound was never PREPARED for
the human stomach.
All this is changed in these days.
The naval exhibit in the paymasters
department Of the battle ship shows
the presence of canned fruits, canned
vegetables of all variety and prepared
meats in their countless forms. Not
all Of these enter into the daily rat1ons,
but Jack can buy what he wants under
certain rules, which is something never
known before. There is but one thing
i'm the paymaster's small stores that
does not seem to have changed since
the days of Paul Jones, and that, is
jacks tobacco; it lis still made in Vir-
ginia under the old naval formula,
comes in plugs about a foot long, is
as black as tophet and strong enough
to turn landsman's stomach. e. T..
All. day people crowd around these
and other features Of the exhibit Most
of the time of the very polite officers
is devoted to showing the mechanism
of the guns and particularly the rapid
fire battery. Gunner Walsh has his
hands full of: this. 1t is well known
that the heavy guns to wit, the four
13-inch and the four 8-inch rifles re
dummies made of wood and plaster,
but the secondary battery, consisting
of four 6-inch high power rifle and &
dozen or more rapid fire guns are genu-
inc. Great interest is felt in the 1fnCh
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22
COURAGE OF THE FoxHoUND.

The Animals Endurance Depends"
Much Upon Companionship of It's
Kind.
The foxhounds courage is not showni
when in isolation. No hound alone will
attack a fox with the determination Of
a terrier, yet the passive courage Of
the foxhound is declared by the Lon
don Spectator to be immense. To see~
tagging hounds come up through field
Of horsemen, to watch the pace with,
which they charge the thickest fences,
and the endurance they show du ing;
a long nun will convince most Of his
We heard once a curious instance Of
combination supplying courage. A pack
of English foXhounds were taken to-
France for wolf hunting But when a.
wolf was reused each hound, as he
caught the scent, dropped his tail be-
tween his legs and refused to follow
When. however, some French hounds
used to the wolf had been added to the
pack, the fOXhounds hunted eagerly
But now they ran with their bristles up
to kill, not to eat The fox they re-
gard as a dinner; not SO the wolf. The.
large, straight fore legs, deep chest
and level back of the foXhound show
| what he really is-the highest develop
| ment Of united speed, strength and en-
| durance. Ten miles to the meet, five
! hours hunting at an average Of five,
miles an hour, during Which two foxes:
are run down. and ten miles more be-
fore supper, is but an ordinary days:
work We do not think We arc exag-
gerating when we say that many Il
hound could cover 100 miles in a day
without being greatly distressed. But:
for this he would need companionship..
| Alone he would probably tire sooner
than slim pointer or long-legged set
ter, whose steady g;lllop over grass
| or heather is another marvel or ami
NAL endurance. But the courage Of CO.
| operation is less interesting, even if
none the less creditable, than the DASH
| of the greyhound. y,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22


being given he call ID out Louder"
to the great amusem 2nt Of the audi
ence. But when a kindly disposed man
IN the next seat said with emphasis in
Poismenu's cal, "This Is Il pantomime!"
the. deaf man, seeing that he had be-
trayed himself, answered: Il know.
but I'm speaking to the orchestra. They
seem to be asleep"
$50 he got out of sometimes. But
al man is not always among strangers,
whose opinions, as rule, count for
little. In his Immediate circle Pois-
menu had to play part. He went
about with his pockets stuffed full of
scientific publica tons, and said he be-
longed to some learned society or other.
By5always appearing absorbed in these
books his defective hearing seemed
merely literary abstraction Poismenu
began very soon to be considered amaz-
ingly wise.
OF course, this elaborate deception
did not deceive everybody. However,
those who saw through it did not have
the heart to expose the sensitive deaf
man
Now, near Poismenu's house lived DR..
de Naloques and his lovely young wife.
The latter had for a long time been
the3recipient of letters f1om o. gallant
gentleman whose occupation in life was
m;,inly to understand women who were
MISUNDERSTOOD by their husbands. One
morning this lady got Il particularly
appreciative letter. The gallant gen.
ue,nan wanted an interview.
II won't 60" she said, when she
read it.
sDear me-" said she, an hour later,
It might at least keep the fool from
kiihng himself Oh 1ny account. ''e =: z:sF'fs5'
And the considerate creature went.
The rendezvous was in the museum
public enough to be uncompromis-
ing; private enough for a talk.
When the gallant gentleman saw her
he was charmed, romantic, tender, re-
pectful, etc.
"Sh!" said the considerate creature
"You saunter toward that bench. 1
will begin to look at the statues. If
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

an adjoining street. One day the jeal-
GUS lover of fishing caught fine lot Of
trout. He had them cooked for his
dinner, but while at table a bone
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

6Lord! Could Never Get UD Them
;, F.. Steps.'
the catastrophe that even newspaper
artists who sought to sketch the model
were regarded as sacrilegious :nter'op-
ers and carried off to jail.
This feeling as to the model of the
Victoria has somewhat subsided, but
there are thousands Of other people
who are more and more anxious in the
light of the horrible details Of the
catastrophe, to know what real bat
tie ship looks like, and so for the past
week or more the battle ship Illinois
has been one of the most sought after
Of the exhibits Of the fair. So much
has been written about the Illinois that
her construction and existence at the
fair is rather an old story, but the
crowd who throngs her decks and gang
ways hourly attest the deep interest
which is felt upon naval matters. The
ship is now under command of Lieut..
Commander E. D. Taussig. Under him
are Lieut. Poundstone, Ensign Blow,
Passed Assistant Engineer Bennett,
Lieut. Russell, of the United States
marine corps, and Gunner J. J. Walsh,
United States navy. Considering the
exacting and somewhat novel nature of
their duties these officers are to be
commended for the patience, polite
ness and discrimination with which
they perform them. During all the
open hours of the exposition they are
beset by people who have never seen
a ship nor the model of one, who do
not know an anchor from an eye-bolt,
{or main truck from a keel-plate;
nor do they know a copper kettle from
la harness cask. All day long these
Officers are beset with foolish questions,
and not once is there any record of
their losing their patience or polite
ness.
q In view Of the publicity and the sup
posed general knowledge of the fact
that the battle ship Illinois is built upon
brick foundation and is about as Sc
curely fastened to the bottom as the
Inflated Victoria, it is surprising that
any considerable number of intelligent
visitors to the worlds fair should con-
stantly beset Capt. Taussig with the
inquiry as to when his ship is going to
sail. The captain says scarcely an hour
in the day passes that some gentleman
{ from Kokomo or Oshkosh or st. Louis
does not ask when the ship is going to
move from her moorings and show her
sea-going capacity. Many affirm they
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

there Is no one to watch us I will come
gradually around to where you are"
"Good idea!'
It was acted on.
Well, there was the pair He talked
as gallant gentlemen will talk in the
presence of wives whose husbands do
not understand them. She answered
like the considerate creature she was
fearful lest the dear, foolish fellow
should blow out his brains on her ac-
count. She didn't have much success
in bringing him to reason. She kept
her eyes on the ground all confused.
Then she raised them.
Horrorst
There was her husbands old friend,
Poismenu, on the other end Of the
bench, He was immersed in his work,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22
Woman, Woman!

She-Why don't you tell me that
noise isn't a burglar George? A wom-
an always needs to be reassured.
George-Of course it isn't burglar,
dearest. That is only the rain drop
ping on the caves. There! don't you
hear it again?
She-What do you want to keep talk
ing about it for?
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22
W AS. HE :]|].]l DEAF?

Why are the deaf ridiculed? The
blind are. treated differently.
M. Poismenn was a man who would
not admit he was deaf. This weakness
naturally exposed him to occasional en-
baTassments. Entering theater one
evening at which a palltomi1ne was
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22

an adjoining street. One day the jeal-
GUS lover of fishing caught a fine lot Of
trout He had them cooked for his
dinner, but while at table a bone
choked him. - - !: :sssssssIEs
Then followed an account Of how the
tender wife rushed around to the
young doctor with the ostensible OBJ
ject of getting him to attend her hus-
band. In reality she left the latter to
choke to death and promised to marry
her lover when the Widows weeds
were doffed.
The story created a sensation.
In the midst Of it up spoke Poismenu
Nothing to what I can tell you,"
said he.
General silence. Let Poismenu tell
his story!
But the cOnsiderate creature and the
gallant gentleman who understood the
misunderstood exchanged gIances and
turned pale.
''There is one Of our friends,'' began
Poismenu, whose jealousy is notori-
GUS. But he's remarkably fond of fish
ing
The guests looked blanlzly at each
other.
"Now his wife, continued the deaf
man, lis in love with a young doctor
who lives in an adjoining street,
The widest laughter interrupted the
story teller.
"Oh! wait" said he "You haven't
heard half the fun of it. One day the
jealous man caught fine lot of
trout
And so amid a gale of merriment
Poismenu, quite enjoying the success
of his story, told exactly what the first
raconteur had told.
No one laughed louder than the con-
siderate one and her gallant.
But Poismenu's deafness was never
again doubted.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1893-07-22
[ER DECK THRONGED.
BATTLE SHIP ILLINOIS IS AN OBJ
JECT OF INTEREST, ....%2,
Fair Visitors Evidently Interested
a In Naval Matters-Amusing Cues
tions by Oshkosh and st. Louis
" Men. - - ! > 10" '-'

The dreadfu1 naval catastrophe in the
Mediterranean has given a new interest
to much that is on exhibit at the
worlds fair. When the news was
first received the model OF the battle
ship Victoria, the victim of the awful
disaster, was surrounded by a curious
and somewhat excited throng Of people.
Every Englishman in the city sought
out the model as a shrine upon which
to expend his sympathy and horror.
So strong was the feeling evoked by
The morning call., 1893-02-12
LEATHER GARMENTS.
Edinburgh Has a Fancy for Jackets
and Skirts Made of Kid.

l came across at Edinburgh, says a Queen
writer. some most charming aud useful of
novelties. They took the form of leather
jackets for ladies' wear while shooting and
for country wear.
They are called Danish coats and appear
to be made of glove kid. being very bright,
resembling satin. They are to be had in
brown, black, green, blue and gray, and
have skirts to match. They are light, per-
feetly impervious to weather, and the coats
display some pretty stitching.
The leather jackets are found to be ex.
ceedingly useful for riding. in place of covert
jackets, as they will stand any amount of
wet. They are made with short basQues
and are quilted inside.
a useful little novelty is a butter-sppar.
with which you can harpoon balls of butter,
often so difficult TO secure with an ordinary
knife.
Grouse feet brooches always please across
the border. and / notice here that carn-
germs fiGd their way, not only into the
transform snuffboxes, but into the various
silver fittings for the dressing table, and the
national thistle has been utilized for recep-
tacles for pepper, mustard. sugar and other
needs.
Edinburgh Is rich in jewelers. shops,
whose massive silver is shown to the best
advantage.
The morning call., 1893-02-12
DUCKS AND TULES.
A Fair Harvest of Malsards
and CarYasbaCks.
THE CRUISE OF TIE BONITA.
How Eight Nimrods Found That DuCits
Were Scarce in the Tule Lands
of the San Joaquin.
Written for THE MORNING CALL

Five days In the tules.
Long enough to shoot many score OF can
vasbacks, mallards. buebills and honkers,
you say. True enough-if they are there.
But when the ducks are scarce and fly high.
or fly not at all, what then?
Then you do what these nimrods did
leave the tules. go back toward the salt
water and the blue hills. and keep going
back until the game is reached.
In nutshell that is the history Of the
duck-hunting cruise of the sloop Bonita and
her eight jolly hunters. There were, in
truth, more than eight, for Captain Ander
sen, the skipper, and Nelse. the mate.
steward and crew all in one, and Plate, the
dog, must all be counted, for they all ate
and slept and took up room on the narrow
decks Of the forty-foot Bonita. And The
last named, though be ate the least and oc
cupied the smallest space OF room. was the
best hunter. and Of the game that was
bsgged his ready teeth plueked the most OF
il from the deceptive depths of the tule
land.
Five days in iule land 10 eight erstwhile
busy men may mean much or little game.
But at all events ii meant a jolly winters
outing and the opportunity TO store up
stock of good health against the contin ing
cty's winter life. 1t did mean a rare good
time for these eight, and the game bagged
was not so meager as il might have been.
Had You seen the Bonita coming down the
bay Monday afternoon. you would have