Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1893-10-10
WHAT "a the MArrEai

done up tneFe, anu eau Pos "
clean apron and sit down, and stay
sot!" She wanted rest, but not only
for the moment. That 10 NOS rest
that watches the clock and knows u
must start again ut Q given TICK. She
wanted the sense that the WORK Was
s,done-. and that she could not only cit
down bot "stay sot" Says another
woman. whose circumstances make her
cook. bousemaid, nurse and seamstress:
al never call my work done, and l never
think of taking moments rest, I'LL the
children are all In bed, and then CIT
down and mend them up for the next
day." And another says: "RestedI i
don't know what Il IL to feel rested!'
Soma one has facetlously said, "lt 10 q
characteristlc OF American women to be
always tired" II more characteristic OF
American than Of other women, then
surely American good sense shouid %
able TO find q reason and remedy:
That the feminine constitution should
be In chronic state Of fatigue, argue:
an expenditure Of nervous or physical
force dlsproportionate to the supply.
Then methods would suggest themselves
of equalixing the two, by Increasing
the supply or diminishing the demand.
And the average American woman, who
succeeds In almost everything she I'M
dertskes, falls most surprisingly In this.
Perhaps her failure Is due largely to
one of her noblest qualities, namely, her
unset fishness, that considers what 10 due
to her family and friends before what 10
due to herself. She has quick eyes for
others needs, and ready hands Tor
Others wants. Her affections and her
religion both prompt her to spend and
be spent. Her judgment, that CONSTANT
~ reminds her Of what Is due to herself,
Il put aside as tempter, and she only
finds that she can do aud be the most for
others when at her own best, after she
has ceased to be her best. When the
oyertssked nerves have felt the strain too
long, and the children's voices must be
hushed at their play, and the violent
headache leaves mothers place ut the
table vacant, and the rustic OF papa's
newspaper In the sick room almost
drives her frantic-when each separate
grasshopper, whether II be the dinner,
the kettledrum, or the expected friend,
loses zest and becomes burden to be
"gotten over" rather than privilege to
be enjoyed-then she knows she has
carelessly spent In the morning the
vigor that should have gone with her till
life's afternoon. Then, too, she Ia pre-
pared, II too late to solve the problem
Tor herself, to help younger women
TO solve Il. For solved II must be by
some women for themselves and for each
other. No one rule can be made To
meet all cases, but the condition Is the
same, whether the women are rich and
waited upon by many servants, or are
themselves the servants OF all; and the
same general principle must be applied
| In every case. The question Is always
the same, whether asked by the woman
on whom social and philanthropic duties
press, or by one whose daily routine OF
domestic tasks takes every bit OF her
nervous and physical force. In both
cases there are but twenty-four hours
In a day. In both the struggle Is to do
thirty hours living In the twenty-four'
In both to-day is constantly stealing
from tomorrow aud pillaged tomorrow
count when we take them of the end OF
the life. The life Ii curtailed In days and
usefulness, but women need not com
plain. IL We burden one day with the
work Of two, we must expect only hall
as many. "She hath done what she
could" Is the verdict women like to
hear. And so they 90 on struggling
to do far more than they can, forgetting
that nature IL an memorable debtor,
'To the uttermost farthlug" she exacts
and wesrlness, as warning or as pen
atty, IL too often the price.
Happy the woman who has the wis.
dom to heed and the moral courage tC
spare herself In time. say mora
courage advisedly, for believe IL out Of
nv army of tired women could strike
those who would not depart from .
routine In which they consciously 60 DO
You'd their strength, because somebody
a friend, husband, q mother-in-law,
child, expects the routine to continue,
we should have reduced the ranks one
half, Our relations determine our duties
ale IA used to this, ""She expects that"
III have been In the habit OF the other I
therefore the effort Is to be made regard
less Of the consequences to oneself. ~
women 20 weakly on forging letters To-
themselves, made up Of links OF othc
peoples notions, Ideas and desires
Said one very sweet woman whose on
poor servant did not save her the post o
domestic In her own house, al shoul'
be so benefited by an hour In the Opei
air daily, but I get through with m,
work so late that there Is no time for !
before my husband returns from town
lie gets home ut four, and he always ex
poets to find me In"
"Then you 20 out afterward, l sup
pose, and walk with himy"
"No, I don't. he has enough OF beinl
out through the day, and we dine yo'
know mt Ave."
"But why don't you 60 out earlier
and leave some Of the work to DO dom
after he cOmesr'
.'Well, you know he doesn't like 4
see me about the house, and II he find
me dressed and ready to make 1t pleas
ant, he need never know that i didn'
get my frock on till heard the whistle
Of his train. or course he doesn't I'm
derstand why one girl cannot do all thu
work." And that was not In any sens
n selfish or unkind husband; only h,
was accustomed To have her In the
house, and expected to find her at leisure
and she did not trouble him with an!
shock to his expectations. When, on
day, she broke down utterly, aud NURSE
and doctors and every domestic dlscom
fort rsined down upon him, he felt sor
~ for her, and for himself secretly sg
grievcd! lie didn't expect 1t OF her
She had worked years to save him tn
shock Of finding things different fron
his expectations, and now he had IN
cumulative shock all ut once. Wha
wonder that he felt secretly Injured ant
held her silently but somewhat sulkil!
responsible for "not having taken car
Of herself"
And she was responsible. Aud sh
did deserve her punishment, the stln,
Of which Was, that her husband hat
never been used to sickness, and tn
comfort If which was that she no long
err felt that she ought to get up, sine
she had tried and could not move han'
or foot. III can rest now, surely;" ant
rest she did from the morbid, conscien
tlous feeling that she ought to yet nj
and keep going. Yet the throbbln,
| head and the quivering nerves were tn
price she paid for the privilege OF lyinl
still aud the absence Of the inexorabl
ought.
Happy, I said, the woman who ha
the good sense to see Justly, what ar
the real responsibilities OF her position
and the courage to adjust her life, 90 Al
to do the most possible good with tn
least exhaustion Of force. Expenditure
there must be. Woman should give a
freely as the sun shlnes-of her best