Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-01-19
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious and
whuh

AN Obtuse angle-fShing for COM
pliments. County Standard.
A COMET crushed to earth will not
rise again. Orleans Picayune.
AN ear of corn is supposed to be at
tentive to the corn's-talk. Boston
Courier.
THE crockery trust is broken. 1t
ran up against the servant girls
trust.-TeXas Siftings.
MAMMA" said Johnny, "if | swal
lowed a thermometer would die by
degrees?"- Post.
TALK about your transformations!
We have seen a square man turn
round. Gazette.
MANY man who will fight if you
kick his dog, lets his wife carry in
all the wood. RAMS Horn.
RECIPE for domestic broil: First
catch the hair on your husbands
coat-collar. Gazette.
You never could persuade horse
car driver that women know enough
to vote. -Somerville Journal.
THE race question at present per-
tains not so much to immigration as
to the America cup --Philadelphia
Record.
AS THERE are no railroads in the
other world, Mr. Gould has probably
seized the toboggan slide.-St. Louis
Post Dispatch.
THE winter girl who is described
as dressed to kill would doubtless be
classified as form of STAY belle. -
Washington Star.
No CHARGE to florists for this ad-
vice: If you would have your plants
start early put them in spring beds.
Lowell Courier.
IT is now thought that what was
regarded few days ago as Biela's
comet was only the price of COAL
Binghamton Leader.
BOOSTERS are good deal like men.
A rooster never gives notice Of finding
a worm until after he has swallowed
it.-Atchison Globe.
IF cats could only hold their back
fence carnivals in the daytime they
wouldn't mew-till-late nights So
Rochester Democrat.
A MAN is satisfied to make repu-
tation for himself, but woman, bless
her. wants to make one for everybody
in the neighborhood. -Elmira Ga
zette.
OFFICER KRAUTMEIER Il guess
peter as you go to vail. Befuddled
Stranger-Not mush I'll go to Yale.
Pm a Harvard man.-Indianapolis
Journal.
ADoRER-"When we are married,
darling, we shall be one" Miss
Ibsen-"rm aware of that, Edward;
but the question is, which one?"-
Funny Folks.
Il WISH you would not take adj
vantage of the relationship seemingly
implied in your name to be 50
familiar" said the hen to the Ratchet.
Washington Star.
shortest day of the year? James
(from experience - The day your
father promises to give you lickin'
afore you go tobed.-Puck.
ETHEL (excitedly)-"He has known
me only two days and put his arm
around me-" Eva-"YOu mean, [
suppose, that he knew you two days
and only put his arm around you."-
Life.
TAX AssEssoR-"Do you swear that
you own nothing but the clothes you
are wearing?" Charlie Lakeland
well, [ also own a porous plaster,
but l am wearing that, too. Seattle:
Soundings.
CREDIToR-"I called to see if you
could pay that little bill to-day"
Debtor-"Come, now, this is a little
too much. You press me about that
little bill just as though Iwere poor
man. Boston Transcript.
STURGIs-We indulge in domestic
drama every night at our house,
| Parkes-Indeed, Who takes part?
Sturgis-My 3-months-old daughter is
leading lady, and do walking gen
| tleman part.-New York Herald
LITTLE DICK-."I wish / had %
pair of skates" Fathcr-"Why don't
you pray for them?" Little Dick
"Well, skates wouldn't be any good
without ice. I'll tell you how we'll
fix it. You get the skates and PIE
pray for the ice. Good News.
WHAT a beautiful woman Miss
Barclay is. BY Joye, she is a Venus"
said Hicks. "Bosh!" returned Nav
son. "Look at her arms; they're so
thin you can't see 'em. That's all
right; she's Venus of Milo" ex-
planned Hicks.-Harper's Bazaar.
JACK-"Did you lose anything on
the game, Maud?" Maud-"No; you
see, Jack Holworthy promised me ten
pounds Of candy il they won, and
George Ely promised me the same III
they were victorious. 1t was rather
risky / know but won II 4amnnnn