The Durham daily globe. (Durham, N.C.) 1889-1894, 1893-03-16
MARRIAGE OF FRENCH c,Rls.

French IDEA of marriage with horror
without exactly knowing why. A
young girl is educated under the c"r@-
ful eye of her mother or go]verne~s, W.0
accompanies her to all her classes, al
considers it as only a matter OF courS>
to SIT patiently with needle work or
book during the music or singing les
SON. the girl is taught from her earll-
est childhood that it is the destiny of
woman to become a wife and mother.
When she is about eighteen years j
she makes her appearance in SO ,iety.
The walls of a French ballroom are al
ways lined with chairs. The mother
and daughter take their places side by
side, and the two chairs are theirs Tor
the evening. When a man requests a
girl to dance he writes his name on her
card and does not appear again until
the dance begins Then he puts his
''claque" Opera hat) on the girls chair,
with her fan, and with a bow to the
mother, leads her off. Sometimes dur
ing the whole dance not a word is ex-
changed between the two. Such a
thing as "dividing" a waltz or sitting
it through" while the music plays is
unheard of, though ~promenading is
permissible. When the dance is finished
the girl is led back to her place, and
with Thank you mademoiselle," and
Thank you, monsieur" the couple part.
To the American girl the idea of
thanking a man for dancing with her is
preposterous, but her French sister is
more philosophical
why shouldn't l thank him?" she
asks. Has not the dance given me as
much pleasure as it has given him, and
is it not a compliment to be chosen
from SO many girls? Then why not be
p~olite?'
After a season or two in society
madame decides that it is time her
daughter should be married. At pres
ent it is the fashion for wealthy people
to spend the summer in their own cot
tages by the seaside, and there young
peop.e meet and are allowed a certain
degree of freedom, though always under
the eye OF a c%haperon. After the
French girl is fairly we'll acquainted
with her future fiance Though this is
not always the case), some relative of
the young man Is charged with the
delicate commission of presenting his
case to the mother Of the young lady.
The education, social position, DISPOSE
ton, health, wealth and prospects of
each are discussed with the greatest
f%rankness. Then, if the two are not
already acquainted, the girl is taken to
the theater and the men call on her in
the box, or the two are invited TO dine
at the house of a common friend. If
either does not like the other the mat
ter is ended, for it is a very unusual
thing for a parent to force a child into
marriage. If, however, the liking is
reciprocal, other meetings take place,
the two are allowed a few moments of
privacy, a walk in the garden, or a con-
versation at one emil of the room. If
the result is satisfactory the marriage
is decided on and takes place three
months afterward. The question of
dot (money) is a serious one.
1t is absurd to say that French wo-
men are married only for their money.
1t is almost an impossibility for a man
in ordinary circumstances to marry a
poor girl. The education of the aver
age man is far more complete in France
than in America Every family tries
to send the boys to school until they
are at least eighteen years old. Then
IN the military service, and a man
begins business when he is about twen-
ty-one. If his family are in moderate
circumstances it is probable that the
son accepts a government position,
with a salary Of thirty dollars a month.
At thirty years of age, if he is steady
and industrious, he may make forty
dollars a month. How is it possible to
support a family OF SO small a sum?
The only solution is to marry a girl
with about the same income. 1t is not
necessary for her to have a large CAPT
tai if she has any means of supporting
herself. This also applies to cultivated
people.
A marriage in France is not the cosy
thing it is in America. The consent of
the parents of both parties must be fur
nished. or if that is not possible and
they are of age, then the refusal must
be obtained. together with their birth
certificates and the marriage certif-
Gates of the parents If the latter are
dead their death certificates must be
procured before the pans are published.
A religious marriage is not recognized
by Law, and it is usual for the civil
marriage to take place at the mayors
office in the early morning and
the religious marriage in the church at
noon, though often the civil ceremony
is read the day before the relig Gus
ceremony takes place. AS France is a
Catholic country the double marriage
is customary. The groom wears a dress
suit, the bride a high-neck white gown.
The trademarks and bridal party are
all IN high-necked dresses, as it is con-
sidered the height of improperly to en-
ter a church decollete. After the serv-
Occurring part of which the bridal
couple sits on chairs with their backs
to the congregation-the bridemaids
take up a collection, passing purses made
of the same material as their dresses.
The proceeds are given to the poor.
The question is often asked, Are
French marriages usually happy?" As
a rule they are more SO than American