New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-04-11
THE TALK or THE OAf.


u e said that Max Judd, the newly appointed
oa'u, conero, 10 Austria expects that the opposi-
zion IN him I'm that country will cease when the
Austrlons learn that ho can play Chess.
willing to Make Amends.-Angry. Candidate-In
vmr paper this morning. sir, you say seem 70 nave
learned small amount OF sense III ,c ast nv Ua 81.
vcnrS, look upon that as an Intentional insult,
Sir and / won't stand H. Wo,u s.v to.morrow morning
nt rou don;t SEEM to learned small amount Of
sense i'm the last five or six years. "o"d h'ornns'
-(Chcago Tribune.
There IS an honest old stage driVer IN NeW.hamp'
shire who. in entire good faith, gives the following
Exclamation OF the origin Of the Bible " There WIZ
va,,h.,v an, Mark an Luke an John, an Moses,
an, Jonah an, Solomon an David, an ther DON'T no
ho,v know haow many more. They all he'd their own
Dibes and every Teller thought his wuz 'ier pest one
in the hull lot Wal, after some years. 'ner Peope
begin Ter clamor for ther true Bibc an so all these
oilers met tergethcr ter decide which wuz her true
ph,e Naow OF course, every one on em said us
v,,, tho hest and then they had some words which
waound I'D I'm a war. They fit purity herce ior q
,ine an, there WIZ considerable many OK them gco
killed off, so Their rest callated they'd better can
halt an caOunt up the waoundeu' linen Tic! hee
rnuther consultation an after good deal er lawin'
ON all Sides they ter Their CONCLUSION 'e' teyo
better put all their books tersether Into one An
tba more I think ont the more believe us the way
the Bible wuz made"
LAZY CHAP.
I'm tbe LATEST chap reckon, that feer ever seem
Feel drowsy at the tinkle o bell or 'hIpelne, j.,
warn't never built fer runnn' where inc 'e'e"u'
I'm What you'd call "a lazy un"-eS' made fer lynn
roun'!
Contentcd Mighty right, am! When spring "'nos
In IL" medaers where the daisies dot the carpet at
wher, the nc,tn' birds are chrpn, where the brook
An runs a0ng,' a,augin' at the lilies in its way;
yor.u find me almos' any time aIyn' at my ease.
With the lnlsong o the locus an the oro"Sy 'rons
Above me and around me: I'm rhymer In my way
An I'd rather hear the BIRDS sing th'h " s'o' e'
any day
"Jcs' lazness,' they tell me, an reckon they aN
With the moclin' birds in daytime an the whip
But difcrcnt folks has different minds. an drink
When I'm talkin' ter the lilies they're ap!onghn' OF
'cm up.
Nv aels pastur' fer the COWS, an though 1t never
It's a powerful source o. pleasure jcS' ter see the
Tho tlnue tinkle o. the bells Is such q pleasin'
But I'm lazy chap. you know, jes' made fer lyin'
ETrank L. stanton. In Atlanta Constitution.
al once thought could be an actor says James
whltcomb Riley. "but fonnd they wouldn't Jet me-.
Whenever ! chance 10 do some good actihs'
something that would DC nlluTiii uStl hHpcfa'' '"o
stage manager. would yell out. Here, that amt the
way to do that Now you come In here at this en-
trance. and you stand there, and You do this this
way and you do that that way Well. was always
In hot water rchearsals, and. II course, COULDN'T
do any good acting I'm the piece. My heart wasn't IN
IT, II was all n false basis don't Won see. Why,
! used TO say TO him. NO man ever said that thing
the way YOU want me % Sag II. Taint Natural.
'tan't truthful. an It will not 60. NO matter says
he you do it the way tell YOU. I've got TO look
out for the proper effect Well. | soon saw they
want going to let me be actor. was discour.
aged
A Dnemma.-well Ralph, do you have many play.
Nav: don't have any
what playmates at all"
"No: mamma won't let play with about half
the boys and Tie other boys mammas won't Jet them
p Iorb %i'" Y News Record o' '"'' se'
what is manslaughter,, asked the teacher There
was a dead silence. WELL he continued III
should point pistol I'm fun at some one. and II 1t
should 60 of and kill him, what would 1t bci'
Didn't know-it-was loaded exclaimed every
boy in the class
She Amt asayin' much now-shes done put In her
She's spent six weeks with Grover an read him ont
She's s.' w %a now on Providence whatever 1t mny
An corgias fine four hundred will reach glory the
end
ATLANTA Constitution
Some years ago. "oulps. of Buffalo. says. a Roch.
ester clergyman In baptizing infant paused in the
middle OF the service 10 inquire the name OF the
infant, TO which the mother, with a profound cour-
tesy, replied
shady sir, II you please.'
"Shndy I, replied the minister. "Then It's q boy,
and you mean Shadrach, Ell -
"NO, please. your reverence. It's girl.'
And pray" asked tho inqusve pastor how
happened you to call the child by such . name''
"Wcl, sr,' responded the woman. "K you must
know. name is Bower and my husband said
how he should like her to be called Shady, because
Shady Bower sounds pretty"
Tho only -Teacher-Why is this called the
temperate Zoncl
summer an the coolest day In winter an add 'em
together an divide by two. the weather will be just
rght.-(Good News.
The Boston Traveller on Wednesday appeared for
the first time under Its new management. The Rev.
James d. Dunn the editor and manager. and Reuben
Crook who have been with the paper for several
years, retire. and John c. King becomes manager.
Eliot Lord Is the new ediorin chief. and Albert A.
Reed becomes managing editor. "The Traveller
announces that 1t "wil not depart widely from Ito
past policy continuing stanch advocate OF temper.
ancc reform and In other respects being thoroughly
American. maintaining throughout that cleanness
and reliability which has always characterized the
paper"
At Country nn.-Traveller-licre, landlord.
what's the matter with your dog I have driven
him away score OF times, but he always comes back
again and sits close mp TO my chair. watching every
mouthful eat. DO turn him out, and let me have
Is such knowing brute: / expect Won have cot the
plate he generally eats out of-(Luebecker Kalender.
THEY WANT TO BE EDUCATED.
From The Providence Journal