davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
rrvv vopx DAILY TRIBUNE AUGUST PAGES

Of the shoulder blade, an then the under side'
an then through the middle, an then
But, Hiram, came to see II you wouldn't JOIN
Village Improvement Society,"
WALL now. / don't bleeve your Provemeh' 90
ciety will improve my roomatiz none. I've .rieu
evry kin err remedy there is, l guess. But uon
git no better I've kerried horse chestnut u"
my pocket for the past thirty year, an Bii reases
SEE II I'll ony kerry ii twenty year longer II .e
me- sure. Jim Fletcher tol me to drink danoehon
tea wen the moon is in the last quarter III ''e
month of August. But August don't come out
once n year. any way an the moon nan ,he
time don't hev no last quarter then an as theie
amt no dandeons in August. no how, doh seen,
to get much better Sim Barstow recommehoeu
But. Hiram. came down
"As was sayin' Sim Barstow recommended sea
ba thin But as there amt seas anywheres
aroun' here for two or three hundred miies-ai-
though Sim said there wuz fust class ocean, III
fact the best oceans he ever seeu' uo""
roun' Boson-but / can't afford TO make Max
hall into seaport, the ocean roun' Boston, IL IL
the best ocean in the worr won't never 90
me no good. Chef Bascom toll me that
But, Hiram l came down
"Chet Bascom-you know Chef, the long laig-ed
fellow tibet works for Widow Mullen-wali' Chet
toll me tibet a eagles breastbone wore aroun yer
neck would cure the hardes roomatiz In
two weeks-pervided yer didn't kill the eagle IN
takin out the bone Wall. cant ketch an OK OK
me. an how am / gon' to ketch an eagle ven us
flynn away-an the ony one / ever did ketch he'd
to up an die as soon as took the breast bone out
of him. Wall. I've tried hundreds er things Tor
this pesky roomatz. I've tried
But Hiram | came down.
I've tried pennyral, an billed hackma tack park.
an sasserfras an saspriller, an billed grass zen
the moon Is full an billed chckweed wen the moon
| Is new an I've tried barmygilud an mullen
But Hiram" go
An the balsam er wild elderberry. an milkweed
wen the moon is two-thirds full. an snake-root:
an fag-root. an yallerweed, an w'ite-weed, an
| rag-weed, an yarrsr an hardhacks an sheek-
| Kill. an cherry rum an catnip Wen there ain
no moon, an chickery. an"
| well, Hiram, l think If you could get your
mind"
"'Taint my mind at all. tell ye., It's my jnts.
| See tibet jint right back my shoulder?
But, Hiram
Jest feel tibet jnt now On'y this mornin
bathed that with bay rum, an jest fore you come
roomatiZ hez gone into my left wrist an the ketch-
| in pains hez begun in my elbow an kinder wob.
! BILE back an forth an teeter up an down an
sashay all aroun' the circle Fust it takes me on
| this side an then"
Good morning Hiram"
| "W'y. ye amt gOin? | want tell we bout the
| roomatiz he'd in the fall OF eighteen sixty-four.
Yer see, it begun. in my right laig an then
Good morning"
"An' then"
Good morning."
! 10 rush Off fore a Teller gets a chance say
| half dozen words. long.
| The president went back to the club. and this Is
| the report he made:
Hiram is Joined to his rheumatism. Let him
| alone"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
THE KING OF MANICILAND.
From South Africa


81 have Just pronted by IA holiday to pay visit
IN mo chief Umtassa, rather the kinglet I'M
tassa as the official dispatches call MN Inc couh-
trv belongs to him and the Chartered Company
gives him yearly present OF $780, ana this present
Vas inst due IL Is almost impossible TO get a
rIimns, of I'mtassa, partly because he Is such a
verv' important person-n his own eyes-but chiefly
drink drinking and being very drunk indeed 1t Is
extremely difficult to catch him In the 1rst or these
mia SOS We were shown into reception NUT
into which we crawled almost upon our hands ana
knees and we seated ourselves on mats. prepared
To wait an indefinite time for the chic OF native
chief like that of smart dentist Is TO keep every
one waiting as long possible After about half
an hour began to clamor, ana theil we ieit .ile
hut and began to wander about the kraal. a pro,
cecding which the natives greatly objected TO- ana
before we had gone far an nduna came to say tha
Imtassa was coming. and had sent q present OF
Ka0r beer So we scrambled back and sat outslue
the stuny hut and waited. At last a sort OF pro-
cesson came winding down among the rocks so,Ie
of the natives wearing snuif-box and catsk h;
none OF them carrying any sort OF weapon, VIZ
the exception of a big native VINO carrier n.shor
SAL knobkerrie and his battle-aXe AFTER tns Si,a
of the Black Rod came UmtaSsa, drapeu III a a, bis
and white toga with n blue and wnite cap vi ha "a
head Much to our surprise. he turned OUT W NC
very imposing looking personage III sppt is called
excessive dirt he decidedly possesses What 10 ' en-,
le grand air which take to he prouuceu ny rond
pete satisfaction OF ones self ana one st ~ the
ings and not a little contempt fortne Iest ~ ,s
world Well our friend Umtassa gave edcn Vi us
very grmy hand to shake, anu rea,S hIs na1is
have planted meae field under edeia ~ he raonie
He then sat down on his mat, with al MS People
grouped around him. and his nduna told our in Yer
prefer that he might speak. Thereupoh soou oe"i
of business transacted.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
PARIS CLOTHES.
MORE SIGNS OF LOUIS XIII STYLES-A
TRAVELLING COSTUME

We are just now at "a pause OF the year" In
fashion The French couturiers have not yet
brought out their definite new styles, and the hints
OF what is TO still somewhat vague. What
seems to be established however is the tendency
to drape skirts 1t is which many women
will regret, for the graceful bell skirt has been
remarkably becoming and comfortable. The re-
port that paniers will be worn also seems to have
some foundation. Other features of the styles OF
Louis XIII are foreshadowed in new French gowns
the little round basques, the lace collars, the
skirts. open in front upon tabliers OF lace and
brocade and fastened down with ribbon knots.
the aiguettes of ribbon.
The French travelling costumes prepared for use
in late August and September are the simplest
imaginable, the severity of the cloth skirt and
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27

jacket being relieved merely by the dainty chemi-
settle or vest of silk The plain costume illustrated
is one Of these. and is made up in dark blue
vigogne The skirt has five rows OF very prctty
gallon in blue Of lighter shade. The chemis"te
is OF surah in the same shade OF light blue. ana
is held to the waist by draped grdlc OF the
same The sleeve Of the beautifully cut coat Is cut
in one piece The skirt Of the coat Is quite iull
in the back following the lines Of the fulness OF
the bell skirt.
Worth is Just using in gowns for the races
n thick white silk. which initiates pique, ana Is
made up in tailor style. one of these costumes
has a piquant torero Jacket, opening on guimpe
Of white silk muslin trimmed with lace
pretty gown worn at Dioppe Is OF dark blue
foulard dotted with yellow. The skirt Is draped
a little on the hips. and is quite boufant behind.
1t is surrounded at the bottom by a band OF yell
low satin ribbon. yelled by an insertion OF black
lace The skirt fastens over the corsage under
a girde of yellow satin. The corsage has bretelles
of "bouton dor" satin ribbon.
Paris toilette prepared for the early autumn
Is Of ribbed crepon in changcablc rose and green.
The skirt. which is lightly gathered 10 the belt,
is lined with pale green surah. The unusually
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27

-.,.. ,.ce with a black osprey standing up De-
,n,oen ,ts wings completed the costume.
"putteray' bonnets. by the way, are just ~"
nre-eminenty the head-gear Of the Partisan "oh'a''
OF fashion. . ., coral
Gowns OF black tue with appliques or real coia.
are coming from Paris They are "au
nth ruchings of coral silk and black lace. Beau
,,rI Things are a very important part OF faris
Garments lust now. and add immensely to the oo''
~ them. Nantes and Jackets are as hanuso'e
inside as outside For example, jacket IN ST.,
cloth has pelerine or deep collar OF Ga'ne'.N
emerald green velvet. and both jacket ana pew
rine are lined with rich rose-colored SILK
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
A MAN OF LEIsUREs CREED.

live. I live TO fill up space
No other substance fills up,
! live to carry round my face
live to run my bills up.
/ live to fill W time between
Last evening and tomorrow.
/ live TO keep my memory green
And see what | can borrow.
I live for one who loves me
And bowers me with pelf
Through pleasant places shoVes me,
Ny one true love-myself.
| live that | may still exist
And still keep on existing,
| live the dinner-bel to list
And still keep on a-llst ming.
/ do not live 10 toll and seethe,
AS other folks are seething,
But cause it's easier to breathe
Than to refrain from breathing.
/ live. | live to wear my cloeS
And get myself admired.
To hold myself from work and woes
And keep from getting tired
! live. live to daily get
Whatever | am getting,
And sit and sit, and sit and sit,
Because I'm fond OF sitting;
] live because it's work that kills
The world owes me "A living
And while my good wife pays my bills
render up thanksgiving. - ~
SAM WALTER FOSS.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
A PRETTY BAD PICTURE.
, Grand In The Humanitarian.

For vulgarity. for boldness, for folly Ignorance
want OF principle petty weakness intrigue and
positive vice. you must go to the average society
woman Her one motive Is self-seeking. She u
bad wife a bad mother and a false friend. For
intellect she has fair supply of shrewdness an%
cunning: for religion. rotten congiomeTato ~.
emotional superstitions that do not improve n efS
conduct: for virtue. the hope Of not being and
out; while for charity. good feeling: ,i.ses tact
the tact to respond outwardly TO wna' ~
II required OF her by different peop"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
TOM AND BILL.

Tom ulster talk till all was dumb,
But Bill would set an twir his thumb.
Us boys at school would set around
While Tom would crack the air with sound.
He showed us all his future course,
How he would shake the universe;
An how his name from sea to sea
Would rattle through our history.
Bill crossed his laigs an set there dumb,
Jest set there still an twirled his thumb
An we all thought that Tom was great
An big enough to rule the state.
Beside him Bonyparte looked small.
An Washington warn't very tai;
An General Jackson side err him
A babe 'longslde seraphm!
white House'll be too small for him
Wen he is presidunt." said Jim.
But Bill. he on'y set there, dumb.
Jest set there still an twirled his thumb.
An wen Tom went away from school
He said his teacher was fool,
An then he took five hours to show
How much his teacher didn't know;
Then talked ten hours to make us see
Jest how much more he knowed than ne.
It's waters on the dred-up earth.
We sunk-wc were too tired TO walk
Drowned In the ocean of his talk;
But Bill upon the shore set dumb.
He Jest set still and twirled his thumb.
The war broke out an ev'ry night
Tom showed his neighbors how to hght;
He'd make each night-at Blancoms store
His sabre whz, his cannon roar.
Oh loud would swish his fashin' blade
An loud would roar his cannonade
An fierce ne swum out from the shore
Into a swashin' sea of gore.
Each night he drilled his soldiers raw
An fought an finished up the war.
He did it-up North-with his mouth
The climate was too hot down South.
But Bill he raised troop OF men
An marched away as cap'n then
They made him colonel-he stood dumb
An simply blushed-an twirled his thumb.
But meath red battles fiery suns
He did loud talkin'-through his guns.
Wen General. he put on no starch.
An all he said was, "Forrerd March!
He made no speech, as on he led
"Forrerd" an "Firc"-all he said
An through a hundred battles grim
lie let his loud guns speak for him.
VI.
Pack through the land he helped 70 save
An make too pure for a slave.
Back from the awful bloody years.
Back through an avenoo ~ cheers
Marched General Bn. the loud hurrahs
tf.I he. list
He rode through all the loud cheers. dumb.
But dropped a tear an twrled his thumb.
But Tom still goes TO l}lancom's store
An talks. as IN tn" days - yorc.
Stlll shows his wondrous wealth OF brains
fly criticising Bils campaigns.
He shows the great mistakes Bill made,
shows all his actions second grade.
shows his own military skill
l. FAR bc-cnd the reach OF Bill.
An how 4 Bill he'd done his ways
The war had closed In thirty days.
An once up 10 the State House where
or Hill scts In the gov nors chair.
pil oil Tom go-H" warn't afraid
To tell 1911 the mistakes he'd made
An Bill hc Jest set SIN there dumb,
lie Jest st sun an twircd his thumb.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
SAM WALTER FOSS.
A SANDWICH OF METRE AND PROSE.

TWO WARRIORS ONE FOUGHT NoIsILY AT HOME
TIsM AS A PROFESSIONAL LAZY
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27
Copyright; 1898: BY Sam Walter Foss)

MANS CREED.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27

Pack through the land he helped 70 save
An make too pure FOR a slave.
Back from the awful bloody years.
Back through an avonoo ~ cheers
Marched General Rnl. the loud hurrahs
Rolled up an reached the listening stars.
lie rode through all the loud cheers dumb.
But dropped tear an twrled his thumb.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27

Princess Eualie has been staying quietly IN Lon
don where she hired a furnished house. She mas
ridden in the early morning. shopped on foot, ana
avoided visitors. and has altogether taken thor
ough rest after the excitement and fatigue OF her
American tour. Her little sons have been with
her They are small for their age, but uncommohly
precocious little fellows.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-08-27

f'UI, ffITafn 7 'siTII' 'VN'''
EYER see this roomatiz | he'd IN 'he sp',"e y.
1857 took me in the shoulder 1t wuz jest '"'s way
III try an tell it jest as 1t wuz' LOT III ".','"
with the roomatz you've gotter be ache'a''
gun up in the top corner Of my shou'e, a. -
gradually spread acrosst. dodgin out an In cross
roads ever once in a while an fust on the top side
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28

One of the sublimest effects in nature
is occasionally seen by those who climb
the tall and isolated peaks of the Rocky
mountains in Colorado. The dryness
Of the air and the strong heat of the
afternoon sun cause a rapid evapora-
tion from the brooks, springs and snow
banks on the mountain sides, and this
moisture, rising on the warmer air,
coudenses as it reaches the cooler,
thinner atmosphere about the noun
tain top. The traveller, looking down,
sees clouds literally forming below
him, and growing thick and black
every instant, so that as they reached
his level they roll slzyward and in huge
masses of vapor that eclipse the view
and bury him i'm darkness. Lightning
occasionally leaps from the clouds and
a mountain top is a particularly bad
place to be at such time. The stone
signal service station on Pixies Peak
has been nearly wrecked by lightning
more than once.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28
CHAPTER XIII.
nIs IA Is DIscoURAaED.


"Say, you leave here mighty quick"
said the grocery man to the bad boy as
he came in with his arm in a sling and
backed up against the stove to get warm.
Everything has gone wrong since you
got to coming here, and think you are
a regular Jonah. l find sand in my
sugar, kerosene in the butter, the cod
fish is all picked off, and there is some
thing wrong every time you come here.
Now, you leave"
u amt no Joner,' said the boy as he
wiped his nose ON his coat sleeve and
reached into a barrel for a snow apple.
Il never swallered no whale. Say, do
you believe that story about joiner being
in the whales belly all night? l don't.
The minister was telling aboutit at Sun
day school last Sunday and asked me
what l thought joiner was doing while
he was in there, and / told him inter
preted the story this way-that the
whale was fixed up inside with upper
and lower berths, like a sleeping car, and
joiner had a lower berth, and the porter
made up the berth as soon as joiner
came in with his satchel and joiner
pulled off his boots and gave them to the
porter to black and put his watch un-
der the pillow and turned in. The boys
in Sunday school all LATED, and the min
lister said ! was "a bigger fool than Pa
was, and that was useless. If You go
back on me now, / won't have friend
except my chum and dog. and l swear
nv my hg1i1OfD thnf never. But no sand
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28

There are over two thousand species
of suailsaud they are found in all parts
of the world. Some are even smaller
than a pin head, while others, in
France and italy, for instance, are cul-
tivated for food and are large enough 20
make a good mouthful Suails are
vegetarians, and have jaws and tongues
of saw-lil5e edge, the number of points
on each running into the thousands.
On the approach of cold weather the
snail throws q film over the mouth of
its shell, which tightens like a drum
head. As it becomes colder, other
films are added on the plan of storm
windows. Extensive drought will cause
the snail to close its doors in the same
way to prevent the evaporation of its
bodily moisture and drying up. These
little animals are possessed Of aston
ishing vitality, regaining activity after
having been frozen in solid blocks OF
ice. and enduring a degree of heat for
weeks which daily crisps vegetation.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28

shot, and gave him a large cartridge
the gun store man loaded for me with
a handful of powder in, and / told Pa it
was goose cartridge, and Pa put it in
the gun. The geese came along, about a
mile high, squawking, and Pa aimed at
a dark cloud and fired. Well, / was
offul scared. l thought had killed him.
The gun just rared up and come down
on his jaw, shoulder and everywhere,
and he went over a log and struck on
his shoulder. The gun flew out Of his
hands, and Pa he laid there on his neck
with his feet over the log, and that was
the first time he didn't scold me since he
got relidgin. l felt offul sorry and got
some dirty water in my hat and poured
it down his neck and laid him out, and
pretty soon he opened his eyes and asked
If any Of the passengers got ashore alive.
"Then his eye swelled out so it looked
like a blue doorknob, and Pa felt of his
jaw and asked if the engineer and fire.
man jumped off or if they went down
with the engine. He seemed dazed, and
then he saw the gun, and he said take
the dam thing away, it is going to kick
me dBdlu' 4ueu no SOG AI9 solsVS anu
wanted to know if he killed a goose, and
told him no, but he nearly broke ones
jaw, and then he said the gun kicked
him when it went off, and he laid down.
and the gun kept kicking him more than
20 times when he was trying TO sleep
He went back to the tavern where we
were stopping and wouldn't touch the
4 gun, but made me lug it, He told the
tavern keeper that he fell over a wire
fence, but think he began to suspect,
after he spit the loose teeth out, that the
gun was loaded for bear. suppose he
will kill me some day. Don't you think
hewill2"
ANY coroner's jury would let him off
and call it iustifable if he should kill
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28

"Pa repeated the words, and my chum
sprinkled the kyan pepper on the goats
mustache, and he esneezed once and looked
sassy, and then he see the lager beer goat
raring up, and he started for it just like a
cowcatcher and blatted. Pa is real fat,
but he knew he got hit, and he grunted
and said, 'Hell's fire, what you boys doinY
and then the goat gave him another de-
gree, and Pa pulled off the towel and got
up and started for the stairs, and so did
the goat and Ma was at the bottom Of
the stairs listening, and when l looked
over the banisters Pa and Ma and the
goat were all in a heap, and Pa was yell.
ing murder and Ma was screaming fire,
and the goat was blatting and sneezing
and bunting, and the hired girl came
into the hall, and the goattooll after her,
and she crossed herself just as the goat
struck her and said, 'Howly mother,
protect mep and went down stairs the
way we boysBlide down hill, with both
hands on herself, and the goat rared up
and blatted, and Pa and Ma went into
their room and shut the door, and then
my chum and me opened the front door
and drove the goat out.
"Ihe minister, who comes to see Ma
Ivery three times a week, was just ring
ing the bell, and the goat thought he
wanted to be nishiated, too, and gave
him one for luck and then went down
the sidewalk blatting and sneezing, and
the minister came in the parlor and said
he was stabbed, and then Pa came out
of his room with his suspenders hanging
down, and he didn't know the minister
was there, and he said cuss words, and
Ma cried and told Pa he would go to hell
sure, and Pa said he didn't care, he would
kill that kussid goat afore he went, and
told Pa the minister was in the parlOr
and he and Ma went down and said the
weather was prOpitiOus for revival, and
it seemed as though an outpouring of the
| spirit was about to be vouchsafed to his
people, and none of them sot down but
| Ma, cause the goat didn't hit her, anC
while they were talking relidgin Will
their mouths and kussin the goat in
wardly my chum and me adjourned tht
lodge, and l went and staid with hin
all night, and l haven't been home since
"But | don't believe Pa will lick me
cause he said he would not hold us re
sponsible for the consequences. He or
dered the goat hisself, and we filed tn
order don't you see? Well, I guess
will go and sneak in the back way am,
find out from the hired girl how the lant
lays. She won't go back on me, 'caus
the goat was not loaded for hired girls
She just happened to get in at the wronl
time. Goodby, sir. Remember an,
give your goat kyan pepper in you
lodge"
As the boy went away and skipped
over the back fence the grocery man sal,
to his brother Odd Fellow: IF that DO,
doesn't beat the devil, then never saw
one that did The old man ought t.
have him sent to a lunatic asylum"
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28

you. You must be q lunatic. Has your
Pa talked much about it since you got
back2 asked the grocery man.
mot much. You see he can't talk
much without breaking his jaw. But
he was able to throw a chair at me
You see, Thought would joke him lit
tie, cause when anybody feels bad a joke
kind Of ivens 'em up, so we were talk
ing about PAS liver, and Ma said he
seemed to be better since his liver had
become more active, and / said, Pa,
when you was a-rolipg over with the
gun chasing you and kicking you every
round your liver was active enough,
cause it was ON top half the time Then
Pa throwed the chair at me He sayshe
believes knew that cartridge was load
ed"
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1893-10-28

The scorpions have become so numer-
GUS in the city of Durango, Mexico,
that the municipal authorities have Of
fered a valuable prize, to be given to
the person capturing the largest num-
Der Two thousand of the dead
ly pests were killed at the hospital
there recently in one day. For these
scorpions the city pays sixty cents a
hundred, and three times a week those
collected are counted and killed at the
hospital, and eighty Thousand were
thus destroyed last year Persons who
get permits to hunt the pests have the
right to enter and search private houses
tor them