Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-02-03
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

yHAN SeiSh- Ac ClOLQeS Dole,
Never too old to learn-The ancient
classics.
Measuring vessels speed is knotty
problem.-Boston Courier.
The monetary questIon-Can YOU set.
tie that bill to-day?-Omaha Wold-
Herald.
The trouble with the lynx eyed de-
tective is that he sometimes drops some
OF the links.-Puck.
She-.'How do you pronounce Chi
c-a-g-oT He (of St. Louis Guilty"
Detroit Free Press.
A girl gives her lover a mitten. we
suppose, because pair is out of the
Observation-Disclosures Leader.
Many man who couldn't train de.
cent dog properly confidently undertakes
the training OF child.-Puck.
There are good many successful lion
fighters who will run at the sight of a
nornet.-Indianapolis Rams Horn.
The woman with the new sealsx;n
sacque is just as anxious for cold weather
as the plumber.-Pttsburg Dispatch.
All, very fair indeed. is she,
This maiden fair by me adored!--
But it's very plain to me
She's dearer than can afford
Puck.
When lady sscondescendsn to dc
something, she can only preserve her
self-respect by doing it very badly
Puck.
Inquisitive people are reminded that
the chap who "pumps" the organ isn't
the one who brings out the music
Truth.
Many unkind things are said of the
telephone, but one of its redeeming fea-
lures is that you can't lend money
through it.-Philadelphia Record.
"Sure, Pat, the wather's terrible close
to the idge O. the boati" .sYis; an II
the toide rises six inches more we'll both
be drooned. Yale Record.
"It's all very well," said the grave
digger, "to advise young man to begin
at the bottom, and work up, but in my
business it amt practicable. Life.
Binks-"I read curious article, the
other day, advocating tax on beauty"
Jinks-"Good idea. They won't have
much trouble in collecting it."-Quips.
"A jokes joke" the horse thief said
When they led him meath the tree;
But you fellers seem in dead earnest,
While you're a-stringing me-"
Puck.
An Irishman has written strong ar.
ticle in favor of cremation, and says that
cremation has one great advantage: il
will prevent ''dead" people from being
buried alive.-Truth.
Orr-E. Entle-s'I hear that Ned Bird.
say has given up his bachelor apart.
ment." Marlboro - "Yes, he ha
changed his bachelor quarters for bet
ter half. brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Snaggs (as she removes he,
wraps)-"I had lovely time at the diff
ferent stores this afternoon" Snaggs-
"There you go talking shop again l''-
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Dumsquizzle-"Young Timberwheel
has suit of clothes for every day in the
week." Skimgullet-W never see him
wear but one." Dumsquizzle-"Y
that's the suit. brooklyn Life.
Tug Captain-''Boss, the boats
workin' very badly now, an we ought to
do scmethin' about it." Tug Owner
"She won't work, eh2 Well, then, dock
her, see2"-Philadelphia Record.
The military man was once
A hero to us ALL
The football player now it is
Whose carnage we recall.
Washington Star.
Dukane-"Speaking of storms, once
saw hailstones as large" Gaswell Tin
with sneer)-"Chestnuts"
Dukane-''Ob, bigger than thati As
large as orse-chestnuts. ."-Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Mrs. Shystcr de Puyster-"R Rensselaer,,
that Miss Westlauds you pay such assid-
uors attentions to betrays anything but
4 refined training" Rensselaer-"Ah,
mother, she is rough diamondl' Mrs.
5hyster de Puyster-"Then you ought
to cut her. The jewelers. Circular.
Tn fba Ctofa of Maina fha via1d 0f x,o-