The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1893-09-21

<AD
ON PNEUMATIC TIRE.
torted mouth like that of one who has
tried to eat with souvenir spoon to ex.
cess.
NO." said, Il was born too far back
to pick this up. can never ride the
wheel in public successfully" tried
one of the tall kind once, because it looked
so graceful, and it not only threw me in
such way as to drive my spectacles up
my nose quite long distance, but it fol-
lowed me up and stepped on me and lay
down on me and got one Of it's cold,
hard treadles in the bosom of my bicy-
cling jacket, where my lunch was.
But with pneumatic tire and a low
wheel there is less danger Of shortening
the spine and finding vertebr@ in your
shoes when you undress at night. The
pneumatic tire is blown full of air. be-
ing a tight rubber tube encircling the
wheel. Riding on air that way is great
sport. especially to the witness 1t is
like running a lawn mower.
have large colored gent who exerts
himself for me at a reasonable price, and
saw him from my study pushing the
lawn mower one bright June morning
till could not stand it any longer. He
pushed it from him as he would water
melon, it was so easy. He kept singing
something about like this:
Shell be called when de great day come.
Or shell hide my hade in shame?
Shell jine de hosts dat wall and gum
'Caz Dennis is my Christian name2
And the green grass rolled like fragrant
cataract over the machine. couldn't
write because the sputter and buzz OF
that lawn mower and the hymn, or what
ever it was, kept wooing me to the win
dow, and l couldn't get two ideas to-
gether to save my reputation. Finally ]
gave up my job and went outside. It
looked even easier out there than it did
from The house.
"You may go down to the garden, Al
cibiades,' said, "and weed the succo-
fash pines awhile. Twill finish moving
the lawn"
took off my rich dressing gown and
hung it up on the doghouse; took off my
reversible cuffs and put them on the tail
of a beautiful, ornamental iron dog which
stands on the lawn, and started in.
But why go on? Every man with
soft muscle or two has tried these things
to get up glow. I did not do anything
more or less than other men have done
who need exercise and gorge themselves
with it in an hour so that they can't bear
the sight of it any more forever.
l moved place as big as this morn
ings paper, think, a small rosebush
and rubber doll, when l began to see
that the sun was rapidly removing the
shade from the lawn and putting it over
on the north side Of the house.
Imowed down the old rusty arches Of
a forgotten croquet set and got mad eight
times and started a tumor at the place
where rested the handle Of the mower
against my person. The hotter l got
the less knew. aimed at first to just
fool with the machine awhile and quit,
but as l went on and overheated my
Judgment l moved down a bed of mi
gnonette and some tuberoses that were
just beginning to bear
would have moved down trainload
of fresh air fund children if they had
come my way, but that's nothing. Any,
body would do that if they had ever met
a fresh air fund outfit alone on the road.
Well, that's the same way rode the
bicycle, only I concealed myself while
practicing. Then went at it on rainy
days. It was in the barn., enjoyed it
some, though at times I knocked the
rafters little to one side with my head.
soon learned, too, to carry in one hand
q heavy club with which to knock over
the machine whenever it. hoped on me
while was down.
Next learned how to repair my wheel
if the pneumatic tire got punctured and !
let the climate out. You carry little
kit of things, gum and things, also q
plumbers furnace by strap over your
shoulder, with your vest pocket full Of
charcoal, and then when your pneumatic
tire gets hole in it and looks like pink
tight in the hands Of the sheriff you get !
of the wheel at the roadside, and tho
children of the district school come and
stand by your side while you fix it.
lam not Of q mechanical turn Of mind,
and 30 I could not find the hole where
the air had escaped when l broke down.
When you puncture your tire, you blow
into the valve, and then, If you look soon
enough, you will deftly discover the air
In the act Of escaping. Then you heat
piece Of pneumatic pelt and solder It on
- soon a. possible.
I did not realize till was II ini'es
from homo, at the bottom of five mile