Idaho semi-weekly world. [volume] (Idaho City, Idaho Territory) 1875-1908, 1893-03-28
WE EXPECT TOO MUCH.
MARRIED PEOPLE DEMAND uNREA-
soNABLE ATTENTION.

Why Loves Young Dream Is Often sadly
DIspelIed Shortly After the Honeymoon
Is Over-why Mans Taste Is Generally
Different from woman's.
The much discussed question, eIs mar
rage failureT' came up at a small 30
cial gathering few evenings since. In
the company were an old bachelor,
widow. several married people and
couple OF young persons who were alb
sorbed in unsuccessful attempts to per
suade the company that they never
heard OF such thing as loves young
dream.
Various opinions were advanced and
some little warmth was becoming evil
dent in the remarks Of some of the mar
ried guests The bachelor was cynical,
the youngsters somewhat shocked and
sorrowful and the entire company I'M
comfortable.
At length lady who had hitherto re-
manned silent was appealed to for her
opinion.
'If we judge by the amount of happi-
ness we find in families" she said, II
think we may call it a failure, for per-
fectly harmonious household is very hard
to find. There is SO much selfshness and
so much Indifference displayed, SO much
and SO little you, that the instinct Of
self preservation springs up and takes
alarm, and the individual is at once put
upon the defensive as to his or her
rights.
Young people marry and begin their
homelife on a wrong basis. Courtship
and marriage, while often merely an in
cident to the man, is all absorbing to the
woman. She dreams about it, lives in
it, worries and cries over it, and throws
her whole life into the ideal as she has
read it in books Her ideal husband is
always gentle, tender and considerate;
face, and, although burdened with care
and perplexed with business. is never
other than hero. She is quite likely
to forget the ideal man can be very dis
agreeable when he is hungry, and finds
little to comfort him in kisses and blisses
if the laundress has failed to bring home
his linen, or he hasn't quiet corner
where he may sit down and rest.
"For man is more solitary creature
than woman. There is an old legend to
the effect that Gods original plan was to
create woman the mother Of the race
first of all, but, in his far seeing wisdom,
he decided that woman should never
be alone in the world; SO man was Gre
ated first, that she might find a compan-
ion even in her earliest hours of exis-
tence, and from her infancy she Graves
society, and all through her girlhood has
her little girl friends, and their associa
alton is much more intimate than that
of the boy with his mates And all
through her young days how she con
fides in her girl associates and tells them
all of her little secrets, reads her first
love letter to them, and tells them al
about the ideal which she has fashioned
and clothed with graces as with gar
ment. How natural that she should
carry great deal of this ideal into hel
married life and expect love and devo
ton all of the time, and that the hus
band will be as devoted and as self sacri
ficing as the lover.
"But all the same he isn't, and sh'
feels chilled and unhappy when, afte
one greeting kiss, he looks beyond to SCI
if there are signs of dinner, or frowns
, there are number of girl friends scat
tered all about the house, putting an EN-
to the quiet, restful hours he feels h
: needs SO much after the days business
: He is certain that she cares less for hi
/; society than that of the girls, and nat
urally resents it, He thinks he marrie
and had his home as a place in which t.
t be quiet and comfortable, and makes N
7 his mind that he will put stop to al
: this company. Then he reflects that h
is selfish and a brute, and will do moth
: ing of the sort.
"But such reflections never make IN
3 average man happier. He doesn't Gk
4 to admit, even to himself, that he
0 wrong, and the necessity for doing S
a nettles him. And they both get irritate
n and petty jealousies spring up, and ther
= are sharp words and bitter feelings, an
d everything goes wrong. Perhaps goo
sense comes to the rescue, and they com
to perfect understanding, but niue
oftener they grow worse, until he rushe
. away to the club, and she sits down t
. NOPE and worry, perchance to cry; OF
= following his example, seeks congenis
: society, and their lives end in dissip;
= ton or an open rupture.
"And all because each expects to
much of the other. Indeed, this is til
keynote of almost all unhappiness in lif'
. We expect too much. Our ideal is tc
- high, and not finding plain, practices
facts to meet it, we are disappointe
% and discouraged, and become soured an
+ cynical.
| SIT sometimes happens that two pc,
pie who have passed through some (
n the severest trials of existence, and hay
learned wisdom from the things the
I have suffered, two such congenial spi
~ its may meet, and with the experience
= of years stamped on their lives and cha
4, acters may establish home on bias
of mutual concession and unselfish low
- and each may spend his or her remain
ing years in the acknowledged effort
make up to the other what life lacke
aforetime. Such homes are rare i
is deed, but when they are found am ce
w tain that neither the members of Il
70 household nor the few friends who a
permitted to share the beauties of the
a inner lives will go away declaring ma
10 riage failure.
a, ''Such home is stronger plea f
y the marriage relation than any series
% arguments that the most learned al
is skillful theorist can bring forward. b
IN such relations are rare, indeed, in ear
life r. is only when the shirt has be,