The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-11-23


! twenty-five years. or matter of g,125
days. AS night follows day, so has it
followed that every night for 9,1o5
nights Mrs. Comfort has aroused me
from slumber by wifely nudge of her
elbow to hoarsely whisper:
Burg lars, Mr.. Comfort"
Where away?'
Fright here in our housed"
whats their obiect?"
ITO burglar us, of course~
Il cant believe it, Mrs. Comfort. So
far as have posted myself on the bur-
glar he is man of good Judgment.
He doesn't go wandering around city
at midnight to commune with the cob
blestones below nor the stars above
He is in the burglar business for the
sugar there Is in it. He ascertains by
some means unknown to us that there
is Doodle to be had at certain domi-
Gil. and he leaves his lodgings at an
appropriate hour and proceeds to that
habitation and gathers in such plum
der as may come to hand. We have no
sugar-no boodle-Do plumber. Your
supposed burglar is probably tramp
overhauling the back yard in search
of succulent clothespins and oyster
cans. Mrs Comfort, let us WOO the
Goddess of Slurnber againr'
''Silas. Do you want to be murdered
in your bed.'' she gasps There
don't you hear him moving about?''
1T is our neigh Dor, whose child has
the whooping-cough, Mrs. Comfort.
What you catch now is simply the
preface; the whoop will come later
Sleep. good woman-sleep."
1T isn't the neighbour. nor rats, nor
cats, but a burglar in the house If
you don't get up will.''
very will. Mrs. Comfort, will
get up and fall over chair, smash my
nose against an open door, tumble over
the baby-crib and probably roll down
stairs. and when the circus is over you
will probably feel better for it. If you
keep this thing up for two or three
hundred years longer. I'll turn burglar
myself, and then we'll have the bulge
on the rest of the community. Here l
go, and on my soul hope shall really
and truly discover burglar this time
above has occurred nine Thousand one
hundred and twenty-five times. and it
occurred again only three nights ago
got ont of bed and CROPPED and bumped
and tumbled around and struck light
l descended the stairs expecting to find
the cat mixed up with the mocking
bird. but the cat was out and burglar
was in. As entered the family room.
which he had illuminated without ref
erence to the size of my gas bills, l
found the burglar holding pistol at
my ear and kindly advising me to keep
quiet
Are you a real BURGLAR" says I, as
soon as could take in the situation.
The genuine stuff says he.
And you are here after boodle?"
Il am that
But this may be your first expe-
rieuce. was in hopes you were bur
glar OF many years standing-a hard
ened old professional, You know"
We'll, ! robbed my first house
twenty-three years ago. and have served
two terms in prison he replied with
an offended air.
THAT is splendid! That will do nice.
lyi Oh, Mrs Comfort-throw on a wrap
and come down here"
What's up?" asks the burglar.
Il inst want Mrs Comfort TO see .
real, genuine burglar She has oeen
looking for one for nine thousand one
hundred and twenty-five successive
and respective nights, and now that
yor. have shown up at last twould be
a shame to disappoint the poor thing"
No foolishness!" growis the man as
he fourishes his gun
"oh! no! nc. mol Everything is in
great good nature. with due respect 10
the personal safety Of all Mrs Com
forts appearance will not be entirely
In her favor, but under the circum-
stances beg you 70 excuse her. Here.
Me- Comfort this NAT