Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-05-08
JUST FOR FUN.

'You can't do that again. said Pat,
when the Indian scalped him.
The woman with the new sealskin is
Just as anxious for cold weather as the
plumber.
"He speaks very badly. 1 couldn't
understand word he uttered" ayes,
he's an utter failure"
"What's the cause of the sadness
of the ocean," asked teacher. cts
the goldfish" said little girl.
81 used DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup in my fam
lily and found it's work marvellous. No house
hold is complete without it. Chas. Schober,
81 Norris ST., BALTIC, Md"
elbow is your business?" asked
Browne of an astronomical friend of
his. Looking up" was the reply.
Justice O'Halloran- Have you any
children living, Mrs. Kelley? Mrs
Kelley i hov two living and won
married.
She-Do you love me for myself
alone? He-Yes, and when we're mar
ried I don't want any of the family
thrown in.
The kind of religion that tells in the
long run is the kind that never bowls
and growls because there is no pud-
ding on washday.
Don't! If dealer offers you a bottle of Sal
walton Oil without labels wrappers, or in a
mutilated or defaced package, don't touch it,
hn of
that there is something, it may be a danger
Gus and worthless counterfeit. Insist upon
getting perfect, unbroken, genuine package.
Price 25c.
Unfortunately for the universities"
one of our 'sesteemed contemporaries"
sagely remarks, call the 'fellers' with
rocks are not Rockfellers."
Lady (to servant) = Matilda, have
you watered the flowers? Matilda
Snowball-Yes, mum, I dun watered
them more'n two weeks ago.
Boodle-Of course there will be
great concourse of fair women at the
Chicago Fair, but it is conceded that
Philadelphia will send the bell"
Some fancy the charms of the H1y-white
maid,
Of ETHEREAL form and Ianguishing eye,
Who faintS in the sunshine and droopS In the
shade,
And is always ''just ready to de-
But give me the girl of the sunshiny face,
The blood in whose veins courses healthy
With the vigor of youth in her movements of
Oh, that is the maiden for
She is the girl "tie to- for life. The siczly,
complaining woman may be an object of love
beauty worn down by female weakness and
disorders, subject to hysteria and martyr to
Prescription is d cure for these distress
ing com plants, and viii transform the feeble,
drooping sufferer into hea1 I'll w. hsPRy
faction in every case, or money paid for 1t re-
funded.
The man who sat out on the wood
pile and told funny stories, expecting
the wood would split, evidently did
not strike responsive chord"
Young Mani wish your opinion,
sir, as to whether your daughter
would make me a good wife?" Law
yer-No, sir; she would not. Five
dollars, please.
Tested and approved. J. NJ. Littig, Esq,
Pres. Marine Nat. Bank, Baltimore, Nd says
81 have tested Salvation Oil and find it
cellent remedy for neuralgia Keep it in
your family.
Good-by, love. In case Pm really
prevented from coming home to din
ner, I'll send a telegram. You need
not send it; I have already taken it
out of your jacket pocket.
ga stitch in time"often saves consumption.
Downs Elixir used in time saves life.
A resident of the vicinity OF Bryn
Mawr is modestly advertising his
property for sale under the descrip-
ton of can exceedingly handsome
gentleman's country place.
BUCKLEN's ARNIcA SALvE-The Best Salve
in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, no pay re-
quired. 1t is guaranteed to give perfect sat-
isfaction, or money refunded Price % cents
per box. For Sale by H. c. Pierce.
GIN what part of the body is the liv
er?'' asked the teacher, while exam
lining the class in physiology; and she
was good deal surprised when the
tall boy replied, "South of the lungs.'
They had been discussing the pro-
nunciation or "oleomargarine," and
finally agreed to leave it to the wait
er, but he hedged. "Sure,'' said he, 1T
have to pronounce it butter or lose
my job"
Now try This.
Now TRY.-It will cost you nothing and will
surely do you good, if you have a Cough
Cold, any trouble with Throat Chest or
Lungs. DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con-
dc Sc 10