The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1893-01-14

but they have this disadvantage-that
while walking upon them you can't for the
life Of you tell whether you are stepping
ON carpet that cost six dollars yard or
the elegant train of some lady who has
drifted into your vicinity
know that | was in a sort of nervous
state all the time was at this tea, In fear
that the next minute would find me either
floundering upon the floor amid wrecked
train or standing up receiving the wither-
ing glance of Justly offended dame. So
[ passed most of the time looking at my
feet. and | noticed that other men did the
same thing
1t is tremendously hot Probably s2O,-
600 was spent in ornamenting the walls of
this house and not dollar for ventilation.
About one-third of the people present
appear to have bad breaths. Society peo-
ple are more afflicted with this misfortune
than other people because they eat so much
sweet stuff and drink so much champagne
punch between nibbles at salads and things.
As the mob surges to and fro, disporting
many fine gowns and jewels, one finds HIM
self unconsciously moralizing upon what
shall it profit man to have fine clothes ii
he lose his good health and acquire bad
breath.
The conversation which goes on in these
crowded drawing rooms is a revelation
Unless you had heard it with your own
ears you could never have believed COM
pany Of men and women could De so inane
and stupid 1t is impossible to move about
without hearing what your neighbors have
to say, but if you overhear one bright or
interesting remark in the whole entertain
ment YOU will be in great luck. | don't
mean to say that the people are naturally
stupid. Many of them are as bright as
new silver coins and have made their rep
utations in the world in some phase of
intellectual effort.
But it would take more than common
mortal, male or female, to be brilliant, or
even interesting in mob like this. There
is no onversation-mere singing Of few
sentences at one another. No one sits
down. If you attempt to stand by friend
long enough to have bit Of talk current
of humanity or storm of gown or train or
something comes along and separates you,
If you are not interrupted in this manner
some woman rushes up and whisks your
friend off to be introduced to some one
else, or brings her friend up and plants
him or her between you and your acquain-
tance, with whom you are trying to carry
ON conversation, and drives you away in
disgust.
You notice that every one is moving to-
ward the dining room, where . table is
gorgeously spread with things and you can't
for the life of you tell what they are, but
they lock good enough to eat. Here the
crush is at high pressure. In the excite
ment aud enforced contact of the moment
you feel your neighbours heart beating
against yours. This may or may not be
Interestingly depends altogether upon the
identity and characteristics of the neighbor
whom the fates have awarded you for the
moment 1t seems impossible to get near
the table, where from the edges of the
crowd you get glimpes of men and women
eating red stuff and drinking from pretty
cups. You envy them and wonder how
they ever got there. You are in despair.
But while you are waiting and growing
hungry an experienced tea fiend comes up,
inserts shoulder in the nearest opening,
says III beg your pardon, smiles and pushes
in. A series of insertions of the thin and
well trained shoulder, of pardons and smiles,
and the experienced pusher has pushed her
way. or sometimes it is his way, to the very
front. where he or she presently stands
with plate in Que hand fork in the
other as calm as sleeping dog. Notwith-
standing the crowd every one Is studiously
polite and considerable. There are no dis
graceful scenes As the throng shifts to
and fro. forward and back, a trained eye
would observe, however, that it is the ac-
complished and experienced tea attender
that gets to the front, while the tyro re-
mains in the outskirts and sucks his thumb.
Politeness is here cloak to pushing people
out of ones way, as l fancy it is in any OF
the other affairs of life.
OF course it is absolutely necessary that
some idiot should come along with ice
cream and dash it against your best trous,
ers. And an old woman loses control OF
her glass of punch and spills it upon your
coat. Another old woman, to whom you
were so unfortunate as to be introduced,
asks you to get her an Ice, and AFTER you
have skirmished for about ten minutes.
perspired and had your clothes ruined,
walked upon the gowns of a half dozen Other
women, you return triumphantly with the
ice in your trembling hand only to discover
that some other dupe has been before you
and supplied the old danes wants, 1t is
favorite trick of the experienced tea at.
tender in Washington to ask four or five
men to get her something from the table
One or another is pretty sure to meet with
success in his quest in her behalf, and i
two or three of them come up with cups
and plates, why, 50 much the better.
1t isa queer tumble of humanity. The
highest officers of the government are here