The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-10-14

A PARALLEL CASE.
"Do you mean to say, grocer, that you
are going to charge me for the few
crackers and raisns that my boy eats
while you are taking my orders?"
"Well, I'll be fair, ma'am. If when
you goes to book shop to buy a set o.
novels the bookseller don't charge you
for the pictureboo your boy hooks,
| won't charge neither | can't say no
more than that. - Harpers Bazaar.
SAHARA JOKE.
He had been out on the sandy wastes
of the west and had returned safely.
GLOW is it out there" inquired a
friend.
He shook his head obviously.
"Where did you stopP
"At hotel"
Glow did they feed you"
They gave us corn beef, cabbage
and scenery"
Scenery
eyes"
"You couldn't eat that2"
| "Oh, yes, il was dessert, you know, a"
and he laughed an alkali sort of laugh
with white crust on it. Detroit Free
Press.
| THE CRITIC REBUKED.
"Isn't there something the matter
with the feet in this poem 2" asked the
editor
"Sir," replied the naughty man, who
stood by his desk, 81 am poet; not Il
chiropodist. - Washington Star.
AN AVERAGE BOY.
Father-Little Johnny appears to be
hard at work out in the yard. What is
he doing!
Mother-I don't know, but if he is
working hard, it is play. --lGood News.
SCIENCE AND APPETITE.
The old gentleman who takes an in
terest in natural history was very happy
Congratulate me! Congratulate me ~
he exclaimed.
"What for?" asked his nephew.
81 have Just discovered rare bird"
ooh" replied the young man as he
turned back to his book, you'll get
used 10 that after you've been here
awhile"
"Do you mean to say that such dis
coveries are frequent?"
"Yes. Almost any restaurant will
cook 'em that way, unless you tell 'em
not to- Washington Star.
WITH VERDURE CLAD.
Miss Heigho-You seem very con
tented, Mr.. Rapport. We've been on
this wooded island two hours in un-
broken silence. Can't you promulge
something in the nature of a remark
Mr.. Rapport-Oh, beg pardon, to be
sure! It's charming spot, exclusively
verdant and delightfully."- rural.
Miss Heigho-Then, ! ought not TO
wonder that you feel so thoroughly at
home. Truth.
THE CAPTAINS INDIGNATION.
Scene on the deck of mail steamer
at sea. Esthetc Passenger (to Old Salt,
Can you tell me, my good man, the
name of that fine bird lowering about'
Old Salt-That's halbatross, sir.
II. P.--Dear me, quite a rara avis, is
il not?
O. S.-Dunno, sir I've always heerd
il called halbatross.
II. P.-Yes. yes, my good fellow, but
call that rara avis, just as | call you
a genus homo.
o. S. Indignantly oh, do you,
Then | calls that halbatross just the
same as | calls you a blooming humbug
-lTit-Bits.
SHE WAS BOUND TO SAVE 1T.
1t was the highly cultivated girl
first effort at baking.
Dear mem she said; "there must b,
something wrong with that loaf o
bread"
IL think" replied her mother gently
"that you had better throw it away"
: Throw away the first bread | eve
baked"
"Yes; most Of us have to, you know"
"Never! | know what I'll do. II
nut some cuneiform inscriptions on
and send il to the seminary museum. -
Washington Star.
lie roSD THE MARK.
Madeline-Did he make amends 70
: stealing that kiss?
Olga-Yes; he was very manly an,
would not stop till he had made com
plete restitution.-lTruth
THOSE oFF-HAND EFFORTS.
81 hear Bronson's impromptu speec
at the banquet last night wasn't sue
cess. What was the matterr
"He'd forgotten to bring the manu-
script"
A SACRIFICE.
: Ny. Sourly-Im going to have m
picture taken to-day.
Mr.. Sourly's Wife-You will have
make great sacrifice IL you do.
Mr., S.-Whyi
Mr.. Sc w.--Yon'll have to lvok plea