The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-08-17
JOHN VOGELSBLAAT.
Our German Friend Goes Down to tn
Rarge Office.

Our German Friend Goes Down to the
Barge Office.
"Vhell, vhas a widower for oafer
two years now, und l says to my frendt
Shon Obenhauser in Houston sthreet-
l says to him der odder day:
'Shon, MAYBE get married some
more, Ell? Do you pellet he vhas all
right?'
Certainly, Mr.. Vogelsblaat-cer-
tainly, und l like to gift you some
pointers. Go down Ply dot barge Office
when some Sherman emigrants come in
und pick you oudt wife. In dot vhay
you doan' hat to do some sparkin
Und all { r Sherman girls bring oafer
lots of money und vhas as healthy ash
beef
"Vhell, dot seems sensible to me und
I keep watch for some Sherman folks.
When big crowd comes in puts some
grease on my hair, pay boy fife cents
to shine my shoes oop, und l vhas a
regular shim-dandy when I goes me
down by dot barge Office. vhas look
ing around when bolicemans init a
red face says to me:
Hello, you Teller, who you like to
see aroundt here?'
"'Of you blease, sir, like to find
some Sherman girl nit red cheeks und
fife hoonered dollar who Will marry
der best man in Moo York. Will you
be so kindt ash to spheak for me|
"'Who you vhas, eh?
81 vhas Shon Vogelsblaat, if you
please, und make somepody kind hus-
bands
"Vhell, / see aboudt him. You
shtand oafcr dere und shall go in und
shpeak nit some young und tender
matchen und pring her oudt. Maybe
you Will name dot first shild after me,
eh?'
"Of you please, mister bolicemans,
name all der shildrens otter you, ind
bless you forever
"Vhell, he goes in, und by und by he
comes oudt again nit vomans who
vhas zeexty years oldt. She vhas all
bent oafer und almost blind, und she
hat to walk nit cane.
"'Here she vhas, my poy,' he calls
to me. She vhas very young und
tender, ind you must be kind to her. >
"'She vhas no girl Do you pellet
vhas fool?'
Ono girl! Why, you Dutchmans, you.
Vhas you blind? She vhas only rs
years oldt"
"'She vhas hoonered, sir, und she
vhas not a Sherman, either
"'Humph! Well, you must be some
idiots. OF course she vhas Sherman.
Shpeak to her in der Sherman lam
guage.'
eyes, me bye! Sphake to me in
the lingo. | was waitin' fer you these
two days, me darlint.
"'Take her, Mr.. Vogelsblaat-tal
her und be some happiness said dot
bolicemans.
'Nefern
"'Vhat! You make me all dis troubles
for nothings. You lie to me about how
you like to git married to some nice
Sherman girl Take dot
"Und he gifts me der club more ash
fife times, und dot oldt vhomans kicks
me twice, und vhas run in like Il tief.
When goes pefore der shudge he looks
at me und says:
"'My frendt, if anypody fools aroundt
like dot he vhas some badt mans und
must be punished
"'But, shudge, l doan' like no wife
seeXty years oldt.'
"'Dot makes no deeference, Mr.. Vo-
gelSblaat. Dis vhas free country, you
know. Dot oldt vhomans vhas entitled
to husband shust as mouch as der
young girls, und | hat to find you
guilty und make you bay four dollars.
"Und when seetle oop dot fine und
goes oudt on der sthreet who you pellet
vhas dere? Why, dot oldt vhomans init
her cane. und she calls to me:
'Faix, ind maybe you like to thrfle
wild a tender young gals affections
again. Good for der shudge, und if |
Wasn't so young uud bashful I'd be
afther maxim you dance to the swate
und gentle music of Il shillaleh playin'
about your legs. "-Detroit Free Press.