The record-union., 1893-02-18
THE WAYS OF WOMEN.
They Are the Same Up in Seattle as
Elsewhere.
Beselena Writes of Fashions Fancies
and the Big Blizzard Up
Along the Coast.

EDS. RECORD UNION: The very oldest
iuhabitant shakes his hoary old head
and says he never saw anything like it
before. He has reference to our late
weather, of course. For nearly two
weeks it was a miniature Dakota blizzard
and Kansas cyclone rolled into one. 1t
is my private opinion, here publicly ex-
pressed, that the quill-driver of the
meteorological Bureau is now recuper-
ating from nothing more nor less than
genuine old-fashioned ''tear''; at any
rate he succeeded in freezing things up
most beautifully.
The mercury didn't quite knock the
bottom out of the glass, though it tried
to hard enough for time. 1t got on its
dignity, which, to say the least, was de-
cidedly frigid. To-day angels tears have
ceased TO fall. The earth is no longer
robed in spotless white. The snow
which fell so pathetically from her dizzy
nights has vanished. The warm vapor of
the Chinook zephyr has absorbed the last
remnants. Every trace has disappeared,
and Jupiter Pluvius reigns supreme
again.
If you want to find out peoples char
acteristicS-I mean if you reilly want TO
dear creatures known as women can be
just don your oldest clothes and sally out
in a storm, when the streets and walks
are almost impossible, with only small
path down the middle of the latter for
pedestrians. A man will invariably step
aside and allow woman to pass, no mat
ter whether she has the bloom of youth
and health in her cheek, or the wrinkles
-of old age-whether she has dimpling
beauty and a bewltching smile to give
him in return for his courtesy, or only an
ugly frown and withered something
quite unintelligible. This courtesy TO
women is the mate chIvalry in every
mans nature toward woman. He was
born with it inherent in his nature, or,
as TOpsy would say,.he crowd" so.
AS for the women, q lackaday; some
thing within me whispers that some of
you are very, very selfish. A selfish
woman will start across tnat path with
determination in her eye to have the first
right-of-way, or she'll know the reason
why. When she comes to the middle
there is a collision and trouble galore.
Some one has to suffer, and that some one
is usually the smallest woman. The little
woman is thereupon given push that
almost causes her the indignity of fall
or else is rudely thrust aside into a snow
bank knee-high, where she has the pleas
ute OF leisurely eXtricatng herself after
The woman who committed the deed sails
triumphantly past with head in air, in
the conscious superiority OF noble deed.
l wish with all my heart that spotted
wells would go out of fashion. Every
woman blindly follows this tyrannical
goddess with never a thought as to It's
fitness or appropriateness to herself She
saves the city the expense OF maintain
ing a STRENGTHENING department when
long-trailed gowns were worn; she cut
OF ''woman's crowning glory" her long
hair, and wore it friZZled in wild mass
over her head to crafty one OF her ca
prices; she made herself semi-masculine
last summer, and nearly bankrupted her
men relatives by her run on his linen,
and now she caps the climax by sporting
the spotted veil
To-day she sails down town content
with herself and mankind in general,
in blissful unconsciousness that a spot is
on each optic, another adorns the tip of
her nose, another is perched impishly
over her ear, still another adorns her
mouth, and heaven only knows where
they are not.
l have certain lady friend who rashly
invested in one of these affairs, only hers
tspotted. Oh, dear, no! This particu-
lar piece of feminine face wear was posi-
lively respondent in little black spiders,
sprawling in charming profusion and
confusion over its entire surface. That
woman shuddered in horror at sight of
the snake bracelet l wear for talisman,
yet would wear this spotted veil with the
utmost sang froid. Ididn'tsay anything,
but l made up my mind that chat spider
veil should not see the light of day very
long if l could only get hold of it without
exciting undue suspicion. AS all things
come to him who waits, 1 didn't have to
bide my time very long, and one day l
stole-yes, l repeat the assertion
] stole that spider veil, and after
/ committed the deed, and stood
with it in my hand, my courage failed
me, as 1 thought of presenting it to the
cham bermaid, and as a last resource l
burned it as a holocaust to the tyrant
Fashion, and as l watched 1t writhe and
curl into all sorts of fantastical shapes in
the greedy flames, sent up a mental
wish that could thus easily dispose of a
lot more of Dame Fashions DEGREES, and
see them end in naught but smoke.
Ye gods and little fishes What are the
women of the nineteenth century COM
ing to, anyway? They follow the die
tates of fashion with as much religious
scrupulosity as did the Medes and Per-
slams; her edicts are followed as blindly
and unthinkingly as a flock of sheep
follow their leaders. All self-independ-
ence is laid aside; thing is worn simply
because everyone else wears 1t.
Ny friends, let us show our self-asser-
ton and boldly wage war against this
tyrannical old PERSONS DEGREES, and take
my word for it, we will be a better
dressed set of women. L don't mean, of
course, not to follow her edicts at all, but
only to rebel when she wishes to make us
ridiculous before our fellow men.
During the recent heavy snowstorm in
this city certain drummer entered a
well-known hotel and asked for a room.
He was shown an apartment in portion
of the hotel which had been added but
recently. Nothing more was heard from
the newly arrived guest for half an hour,
when he appeared in the Office and re-
ouested to have the room changed.
wv hats the matter?' queried the pro-
prietor.
with a shiver.
you are not so delicate that you can
not stand little cold weather, are you?'
again asked the landlord.
For moment the commercial tourist
gazed upon the hotel-keeper in speechless
Indignation. Then, in deep and i'm
pressive toue of voice, said;
''Sir, | wish you TO thoroughly under
stand that l am nota walrus, that glory
in a bed of ice and blankets of snow
Feel that umbrellan' ~
IL was frozen stiff, sure enough, so
without further parley the room was
changed. BEsELENA.
seattle, WASH, February II, 1898.
EVERYBODY'S COLUMN