The weekly Union times. [volume] (Union C.H., South Carolina) 1871-1894, 1893-08-11
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Old MS tho hills Tho dales.
Made to ordcr-The waitress.
Two wrongs make lawyers write.
Alive and -Thedisappointcd
Oflicc-scckcr.
The buzz-saw IS always ready TO
take IL hand in.
A burning gucstion-Was thcrc any
York Journal.
Little wonder that ono oftho billiard
bulls il 80 red. 1t is often kissed.
Upon tho gay excursion bont
That sails by town and thichct
They suy that (aIpid always has
A commutation ticket
Washington Star.
The laws delays nre not manifested
in tho presentation Of lawyers hills
Puck.
Smu9glcrB aro eccentric people;
they avoid tho regular customs
Truth.
Every man is n great baby if hc can
find tho right one to cry to. o.--Atchison
Globe.
"WolI, I do dcclnrc!" said Thomas
Jefferson, as he signed tho Declaration
Of Independence. Puck.
"I will now get into my coat ot
mniI," remarked the letter when it saw
the stamped envelope. Washington
Star.
cor what nro yo,, thinking2"
cor nothing" Said she.
| ooh, think you said Cholly,
| 'For thinking Of me-"
| Washington star.
| Do
cure for dnndruir?" Doctor "l cs,
cultivate bald hond. detroit Free
| Press.
While tho elevator man gives many
fellow II lift, he doesn't hesitate to
run II chap down. n.-Philndclphin
Record.
"Do You think this.lross makes mo
look oltlcr?" Clcri,.-'I don't see how
it possibly could, maam. ."-~Chicago
Intcr-Occan.
There is nothing IL man hates worso
than to have his wifn cnll him into her
pqpsN .,Hn!I.> @sy.. sslhG2 sslhlG2. wants to have II
II" saw many sights at tho Fair
| That others had fnilOd to take In,
For he planted his heel by mistake
| On pinco OF soft orang" skin.
Chicago Intcr-Occan.
Teacher pcaso grow Oh vines
or on bushcs?" Pupil (vhoso father
keeps summer boarding house) -
"Thcy comes in cans. Boston Tran
script.
Tho Blonde -"Of course nc thinks
her IN angel wings and ALL" Tho
Brunette 81 guess he does. She told
mo he wanted her to fly with him. -
Troy Press.
"Movo on, thcrc !" saitl tho fncetious
policeman to n loungcr near II Western
States prison; "the Shcriff's tho only
man who is allowed to hang about
here. Statesman.
Dicksmith "How do you account
for Miss Muchcash never having mar
ricd?' Kajones Easy enough. She's
too blamed stingy even to entertain u
PROPOSAL Buffalo Courier.
of money does talk" observed
Snobbs. the other night, 81 would like
to ask the girl on the silver dollar why
she SO porsistcntly and successfully
shuns mo. - Philadelphia Record.
"Van's not looking at all we'll for a
man who's just back from health re-
| H'i'' ANo. IHc. Gull IL u hchltIl
resort because ono leaves ones health
there. - Kate Fields Washington.
III II French School: Teacher
"What is tho matter, boys? You arc
nll covered with mud" Pupils
"Oh. sir we've only bean playing the
Panama Canal game. journal ANUS
ant.
Jinks--"Do you approve Of mar
ringc with deceased wife's sister 2"
Binks 'Ccrtninly | do" Jinks---
"And why, may ask?' Binks--''Be-
cause of the saving in mothers in law"
Funny Folks.
"What L want, father" said tho
young man with the college medal, sis
u wide field" "Good!" exclaimed the
old gentleman. 81 always said you had
horse sense, John take the blind mule
and ten acres Detroit Free Press,