Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1893-07-19

THE lean pig is the one that squeals
the most. Let the Pathfinder make
a note. RAMS Horn.
IF pretty women were conductors
men wouldn't try to evade the car
fair.-Lowell Courier.
WHEN old ocean is in for a "high
time" there is sure to be raid on
bars.-Yonkers Gazette.
SHE-This fur rug is very beauti-
full: 10 what beast does it belong?
He (candidly)-To me.-Jury.
The law is like the ocean. The
greatest trouble is caused by its
breakers. -RochesCer Democrat
~DoEs Mr.. Lynch suffer from
chronic thirst?" ooh, dear, no. He
doesn't wait long enough. "-Squibs.
Il FIND my money in creasing,"
said the man whose business was
pressing clothes. -Yonkers States
man.
A SAUSAGE machine exploded in a
Manayunk butcher shop and a meat
eOric shower ensued. -Philadelphia
Record
THE scout heads the list in indus
try, His business is securing plains
and scaling mountains. Cleveland
Plaindealer.
THE miracle about the tippler's
head is that the less there is of it
the more apt it is to go round. Ell
mira Gazette.
& LEGAL CURIOSITY. desire
TO know what men with masks are
doing in your house after midnight. =
Detroit Tribune.
OPENWORK hose may be popular
with fashionable damsels, but good
Dire department will have none Of it.
Lowell Courier.
CANADA has carried off nearly all
The Worlds Fair prizes for cheese.
The victory must have been a mite-y
one. Troy Press.
THE lynching center is gradually
approaching the Worlds Fair The
hOtel-keeper had better beware.
Memphis Appeal.
THE modern landlord doesn't get
frightened when he sees the hand
writing on the wall. He just gets
mad. Buffalo Courier
WHAT sort Of a girl is she?" "Oh,
she IS q miss with mission" "Ah."
And her mission is seeking a man
with a mansion. Life.
WHEN a girl has two strings to her
bow it simply means that if she may
not with one she will knot with the
other.-Philadelphia Press.
THE author who sent to an editor
"a story Of his own c0mposure" didn't |
add much to the editors stock OF
tranquility. Courier
SHE-What return did you get
from the contribution you sent to
that literary journal? He : The
manuscript. Detroit Free Press
FEGG-You have seen Jones' wife;
what is she like? Should you call her
DFetty2 FOgg- [ might if I was talk
Ing to Jones. Boston Transcript.
WHILE the spoon is an insignificant
article to look at, it has probably |
caused more stir in the world than |
any other one thing. Buffalo Courier. |
WATTs-What right has Jiggsby to |
be applying for pension Potts
He claims he lost his voice in the
Salvation Army. indianapolis Jour
nal.
To CONSTANT READER: No; the |
Issuing Of marriage licenses was not |
prohibited by the law forbidding the |
sale Of lottery tickets.-BufalO |
Courier,
ExACTING FATHER-"James how |
are you getting along with that job |
Of wood splitting?" Rebellious Son
I'm making about three knots an
hour. "-Detroit Free Press.
( EXCELLENT wrapping paper is now
made from the stalk of the banana
plant. The peel will go on making
those who inadvertently step On it
rap Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
~Row IS it with your" asked the
editor Of a subscriber who was dying
in arrears. "All looks bright before
me-" gasped the subscriber. Il
thought So" said the editor; "in
abos1t ten minutes you'll see the
blaze, oil City Derrick.
AN ORIGINAL CoMPos1TIoN.-
Teacher-aAre any of your compost
6ions ready?" Little Girl-"Mine is"
~Is it an original compositions"
eyes m" "You may read it" Il
went 30 a wedding and funeral, an
the bride looked lovely an the corpse
Booked natural. Good News.
MRS. KINDLY "Now, I'll give you
3 dime. poor man. But 1 hope you
will not go and get drunk with it. F"
The Poor Man (much hurt)-"Lady,
Won do me a great wrong to suggest
such a thing" Mrs. kindly
didn't mean to accuse you" The
Poor Man-"rm glad Of it, lady. Do
/ look like man who could get drunk
on dime?" Puck.
CALLER-"Why are you waving
your handkerchief SO wildly?" Mu-
rilla- Since papa has forbidden Jack
the house we have arranged a code
Of riapalC Callpr-"Wl3t is it?"