Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-08-02
ONE OF TOM coRwlN's FRANKS.
How He Rid His Sister of the Attentions
of an Obnoxious Suitor.

How He Rid His Sister of the Attentions
of an Obnoxious Suitor.
According to an old copy of the Louis
vile Courier-Journal,T Tom Corwin of Ohio
in his younger days used to tell the follow
ing story:
In early life-so early that / cannot re-
member the removal-my father pulled up
stakes, and carrying with him the house
hold goods went from Bourbon county,
KY, where was born, to Ohio. Notwith-
standinS a rough and tumble struggle with
the world, l had hard time to get on
owing to numerous and rapidly increas-
ing family. Well, family matters had not
much improved when reached my thir-
tenth or fourteenth year!
At this time there lived in the neighbor-
hood a young man named Pickering He
had inherited a well stocked farm, was
good looking and made a strong profession
of religion. This latter qualification caused
him to find peculiar favor In the eyes Of my
father, who always was blinded by profess
sions of extra piety.
This fellow had q strong hankering after
one of my sisters, who was a very pretty
girl. To her he was peculiarly distasteful.
She always seemed annoyed at his pres
ence. Yet he was ever at her side. She
dared not dismiss him entirely for fear Of
the paternal anger. Things went on this
way for year or two, and as partook
largely Of my sisters hatred of him / re-
solved to get rid Of him in some way. least
about some time for a plan, but nothing
gave me the slightest hope Of being sue
cessful.
At last, returning home late one summer
night from the mill, found the family at
their nightly devotions. Passing by the
windows of the room in which they were
assembled, saw that Pickering was there,
and pretty soon discovered that he was
nodding, and finally his head dropped.
Now was my opportunity. stole slyly into
the hall, and reaching the hall door, which
was slightly ajar and close by which Pick
ering was ION Blended knee" l reached
in and quickly pulling his chair from under
him, be rolled heavily, as a sound sleeper
would, upon the floor. The noise alarmed
all. The old gentleman stopped in the
midst of his almost interminable prayer
and saw the position of Pickering All the
family laughed outright; even my mother
smiled
Pickering endeavored to pick himself up
as rapidly as possible, but he had touched
the old man upon his tender point. 1t was
evident, from his rubbing his eyes, that he
trations, and had not my father reputa-
ton far and wide for the strength and
fervency of his ministrations, and was not
Pickering his protesting brother? Slowly,
yet most dignifedly, did the old gentleman
approach him. "Begone, IMPORTER he
cried in laundering tones. Never enter
my house again"
Pickering was thunderstruck He felt
that he could make no apology which
would not add to the insult. He had no
suspicion of the extra force which had aided
him in his fall. He at once found his hat,
took up his line of march. and completely
crestfallsn passed by me as stood in the
shadow of the porch.
At suitable time / entered and got my
supper, was told by my brother in hurried
whispers what had happened, and then l
stole off to bed, affecting ignorance, and
laughing most heartily as ensconced my
self between the sheets at the complete Sue
cess of my plan. Next day 1 cautiously i'm
parted my secret to my sister. She was in
her own room at the time, and threw her
self upon the bed and rolled in agonies and
commissions Of laughter She had been
emancipated forever from an obnoxious
lover. The old gentleman did not hear the
real state OF the facts for fully 20 years, but
when he did he laughed heartily.