The herald., 1893-05-25
A GOLD BRICK TRICK.
IN THE ASSAY OFFICE THE PEOPLE
HAD LOADS OF FUN.

was dropping out of his pockets, and his
unkenpt whiskers were sporting with
the wind as he marched into the United
States assay Office in Wall street and de-
posted upon a desk big carpet bag,
which he set down with resounding
bang. All the clerks stood around and
grinned. 1t was the old story.
Mr. Assay Man." he said. II have
here gold brick that p
But he was interrupted with roar Of
laughter A young man in a corner
nearly rolled on the floor with merri-
ment. A bankers clerk who had come
in to inquire about gold shipment gig
gled till he was crimson.
Sucker born every minute" he said
Same old yarn. You jayhawkers
wouldn't get taken in SO often if you
read the papers- Oh, Lord. what a fool
you must ber'
The old man looked puzzled. IF you
will kindly talk English" he remarked,
you and | will be able to understand
each other better What do you mean
by calling me fool?"
Precisely what say" spoke up the
bankers clerk You've been taken in
by the gold brick swindle"
"Swindle, eh?''
Yes. swindle You met man from
California, didn't you, who had gold
brick tied up in red handkerchief and
an indian with him? Man said the brick
was worth $4,000, and he'd sell it for
| $4,000. didn't her
He did"
oh, what Iarkr' laughed the bank
er's clerk. and every one in the Office was
on broad grin at the mystifcation Of
the jayhawker ''The Californian said
the Indian knew where there were a lot
more gold bricks and they've gone to get
them And then they sold you lump
of lead covered with gold paint that is
worth about $4. 65, and you've come down
here to the United States assay Office to
have the lead analysed and get told what
a monkey you've made of yourself" And
every one howled with mirth
Not SO fast, young man." objected
the jayhawker "You were right about
the Californian and the redsHin selling
me the gold brick, but there your infor-
nation ceased 'Tain't no bit of lead they
worked off on me Ihada chip of it ana
lyzed No, sir | want born yesterday
if am from the country"
You had it assayedr' burst out the
bankers clerk, almost exploding with
the intensity of his grin. You knocked
a corner of the brick. and then they
changed it on you, substituting a piece
of real gold cut from a SIS goldpiece
That OF course was found to be all right
and they landed you like an old guy
high and dry" Laughter.
No. they didn't" protested the jay
hawker I've got the genuine thing.
I'll bet you $500 it's a real gold brick. >
And he pulled out the sum of money
named and threw it on the table
There were cries of Don't take the
poor old chump's money He's been done
once and "Taint fair to bet on sure
thing The jayhawker. however pro
tested
I'm rich" he said I've got lot
more money I'm going to spend on gold
bricks and if any one can fool me want
to know it. I'd like to take fler on it
anyway
The bankers clerk hardly liked to
cheat the Jayhawker, but all the rest said
that the lesson would be worth $500 to
the old fellow
I'll make the bet without looking at
the BRICK, said the bankers clerk. THE
terms of it are that you've been fooled
and that you've bought a lump of lead
OF something Money talks Here's
mine and he threw $500 on the table
There were some moral scruples in the
minds of the crowd about doing" the
old man up in that way but the major
ity view was that he deserved it for be
ing so fresh
The money being deposited the jay
hawker slowly unpacked his carpet bag
in the presence of broad grin. There
were derisive cheers as he took the gold
brick from the many coverings he had
wound around it and handed it to the as
sayer
That official accepted it, and a look of
amazement came over his face.
'Gentlemen he said this brick will
not need any assaying It was made in
this building, and it has the government
stamp upon it 1t is worth $4,000"
lie Jay udW hcT TcdCHcu lOf bIlc SUdke
money and transferred it to his pocket
The grin on the face of the know it all
clerk changed to an expression of pain
as he turned to the man nearest to him
and politely requested that he kick him
to the foot of Wall street and off into the
East river
The only person in the crown who was
smiling now was the jayhawker Turn
ing to the assayer. who had taken no part
in the proceedings he said:
i had business here. but have trans
acted IT. My business is exclusively
with smart young alecks who know 1t
all and want to enlighten the old suck
ers Good day. gentlemen" He beamed
upon them for moment and was gone.
Outside the assay Office he was Joined
by young man who likely enough
capped his game when occasion re-
qulred
Did it work, uncle2" inquired the lat.
ter anxiously
Work. Did it ever fail? Let's go up
10 one of the Broadway banks. and you
can start crowd guessing and betting
as to whether it's real gold. Work.
They sauntered west The old man
looked so guileless and innocent that
every second citizen they met had a
mind to sell him green goods or pick his
pocket.-New York Herald.
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