West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1893-02-02
MRS. B0WSER'S GOAT.
Mr.. II. Jumps at Conclusions and Gets
Sadly Left.

stovepipe in the back yard he caught
his breath and exclaimed
Well. of all the silly things YOU
ever did this is the worst Got n
goat, eh +? Probably paid $40 or
Sl2 for him-and of all the mean
aud useless animals on the face of
this earth goat is the climax If
you are ever left II widow you'll ran
through every dollar IN three
months !"
Mr.. Bowser," calmly replied
Mrs. Rowser rs the goat left the
stovepipe to hunt for ashbones,
"do you remember when you
bought n horse for $3.50 ?'
I" What of it?
" Nothing. except that in about
ten days YOU sold him for 500 and
was ticklod to death TO get rid OF
him. You bought him for sound
horse, but 1T turned out that he was
wind broken, spawned, rlngboned,
nearsighted, vicious, 20 years old
and"-
"It didn't turn out anything OF
the sort ! You got afraid to ride
after him, and what could | do but
sell him ? And what has horse
to do with Il goat? or all the silly,
sonselcss things "A woman ever did
this is the cap sheaf ! I'll bet 500
to cent you paid as much as $I5
for him -
" And alter the horse came
cow quietly observed Mrs. Bow
ser. I" coaxed and argued, but
you were bound to have COW.
You paid $40 for u red COW. She
was guaranteed new milk COW.
The seller guaranteed that she
would give 10 quarts of milk day.
In one wcok"--
=" Behold your purchase, Mrs.
Bowserw
" In one week, Mrs. BoMsor, you
drove mo into parting with her
You we're obstinate and determined.
You used to so out and annoy and
torment her till she was halt crazy.
] sold her for $50 to save her life,
poor brute Look At that goat
chewing an oyster can ! OF all the
fool things in creation a goat takes
the cake ] can get carload Of
goats for 81 apiece, but / suppose
you paid $40 for this one"
"And after the COW o pig," con
tInued Mrs. Bowser, with sigh Of
regret. " You paid s12 for SO
pig, went to an expense Of s5 for
pen, and in four days you gold the
pig for $3.50 and smashed the pen
into kindling wood. You thought
it would be homellko to have n pig.
You figured out profit Of so in
three months, but
q" But what - shouted Mr.. Bow
ser at the top Of his voice. lyon
wcro down on that pig from the
hour that ] got him. You used to
90 ont and pound him with the hoe
handle and throw boiling water on
bin / foand parks on him whore
you knocked him down with
crowbar ! sold him out Of
feeling Of mercy, aud you know it
Whatever put it into your head to
pay go or s25 for q good for moth
ing, squint eyed, saphcadcd brute
Of a goat?'
" Then came chickens, Mr.. Bow
ser-S2j for chickens and $40 or
&12 for a coop, to cay nothing Of
poultry books and patent food.
You wanted TO hear your own
roosters crow in tho morning.
You wanted fresh eggs from your
own coop. You we're going to make
enough profit on eggs in three
months to pay for everything. In
ten days you"--
Yos, in ten days I had 10 sell
what fow hens remained alive for
quarter apiece. but why was Sc ?"
be almost yelled. Who went out
to that coop with base ball bat
and pounded those poor fowls into
the earth Who sroakcd out and
mixed Paris green with their food
a" Who iabbos 'em wl,ha clothes
pole uut.ltho ueighbors threatened
10 have her aressods J lost money.