The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-11-25
AN EYE FOR BARGAINS.

going 20 marry economically
! Son (enthusiasticalIy(-I should say
so. Why last year she spent 81, 500 in
bargains. -IChicago Record
STOMACH ACHE IN SIGHT.
Tommy" said the teacher, " do
you know what the word foresight
meansp
"Yes'm."
"Can you give me an llustrationw
"Yes'm"
"You may do So"
"Last night my mamma told the doc
tor he might as well call around and see
me Thanksgiving night. - Washington
Star
ONE REPLACES THE OTHER.
Miss Manhattan (maliciously)-Y
must miss the dear old London fogs very
much"
Lord Tuffnot Qoftily)-I do. But /
am partially compensated by your charm .
ing New York mud. Vogue.
PROOF OF 1T.
He (fervently)-Dearest, do you love
me so much that you would rather be
miserable with me, if you had to choose,
than happy with any other manl
Shc-Why, darling haven't said that
] would marry Vogue.
AND now THEY DO srEAK!.
The schools of oratory don't teach any
eloquCncc that surpasses that of couple
of dumb and silent chairs sometimes,
when pa goes into the parlor the morning
after John has made an evening call.
Bonneville Journal.
CAPABLE SUBSTITUTES.
"You don't have monarchs in this
country" said the foreigner, musingly.
Not by that name" replied the ma
tive. 1--WE have servant girls, how
ever Judge.
NOT AN ADMIRER OF 1T.
Park Rowe--What dye think of the
sut2 Election bet, you know!
Hoffman Howes-That's too bad
How long do you have to wear it?
FRUGAL.
81 am sorry to tell you," said the
editor ''that we cannot use your poem. {"
"lndeed?" "To be candid with you, it
is clumsy in sentiment and faulty in con-
struction. The rhymes are all wrong,
and altogether it is not even decent dog
gerel." Here the editor paused for
breath and the poet said meekly: '.Give
it back to me, please" IL don't think
you can do anything with it." ''Oh,
yes, can. 'I'll have it set to music
and make "A popular song of it."-LWash-
ington Star.
WASTED soLICITUDE.
"Now, dear" said the thoughtful
wife, you will be careful not to get
your feet wet. won't you" "Humph w
replid the dyspeptic husband. chats the
way with you women. That shows just
about how much consideration you have
for man. suppose you'd be satisfied
to see mo break my neck trying to walk
down to my office on my hands, wouldn't
you?" Washington Star.
A COMPARATIVE ESTIMATE OF HIMSELF.
Reginald" said the young mans
father, 'you couldn't earn your salt. ="
''Oh, yes, could. fathah," he replied,
complacently, and, after some thought,
he added, "but might have to fall back
on you foh the peppah. Washington
Star.
MARRIAGE WITHOUT MOTIVE.
Mistress-So you are going to leave
my scrvicel Now, what motive impels
you TO go awayl
Servaut--It's no motive, madame; it's
soldier.-[Pa Gaulois.
HAD ENOUGH.
Judge-Why didn't you call police
man when the man assaulted you with a
clubl
Citizen - Call policeman! Good
heavens Your Honor, wasn't l thumped
enough as it wos!-lNew York Herald.
AN EXCEPTION.
care you going to-to wear that big
hat to the thcstrei" the young man
asked.
"Ycs. George" And after silence,
she added, "But l am going to take it
off when we get Inside"
Aud that is what confirmed Georges
suspicious that she is an angel.-Wash.
ington Star.
WHAT HS RETAINED.
Il was in railroad accident once,'
said the man in the moker to u group
of listeners, land had both legs aud
both arms broken" Ibid you retain
your presence of mindf" inquired one of
the listen rs. NO" "Nol What
did YOU dor" al retained lawyer and
g"t $4,000 damage."-(Detroit Free
Press.
LIMITATIONS OF MATRrMoNy.
Little Boy-What is your papsp
Little Girl-He's literary man.
whats thsti"
"Hc writes"
"What does he writei"
"Oh, he writes most everything 'cept
checks. ."--IGood News.
A LITERAL TRUTH.