Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-06-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A rank failure-Tilted imbecility.
Truth.
peck of trouble-Four quarts of
green apples.
In contempt of court-The con-
frmed bachelor. Truth.
Tunefully considered, the human
neck isa pipe organ. n.-Dansville Breeze.
A bridge should never be condemned
until it has been tried by its piers.-
Judge.
Women certainly have room enough,
in these times, to laugh in their sleeves.
Puck.
Some housekeepers are so exasper-
atingly industrious that they give the
dust no time TO settle. Truth.
In politics the coming man finds the
roads badly blockaded by the going
man. n.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
People speak of the face of note
when it's really the figure that inter
ests them. Philadelphia Times.
Jagson says the messenger boy moves
SO slowly that he has come to be a
standing joke. .-Elmira Gazette
A fashionable woman is one who has
what everybody else has before any
body else gets ii. t.--Elmira Gazette.
Trite sayings rhymed are liked by some
They'll like this one, no doubt
The schoolgirls string OF chewing gum
Is Sweetness long drawn out"
Truth.
Only man bearing title can be
considered ''real livs nobleman on
the simple evidence that he merely
breathes.
There is nothing especially irritat
ing about an air of Importance, pro-,
vided it is being sung instead of being
worn.-Puck.
The people who follow the fashion
most religiously generally look as if
they were trying to get ahead of it.
Somerville Journal.
A young man with pushing qualities
can always get something to do, even
if it is nothing better than engineering
o lawn wower. Buffalo Courier.
The humble individual who saws
wood for a living is of more benefit to
his race than the man who does moth
ing and that poorly. Troy Press.
Hunger overcomes superstition. If
a man is really hungry thirteen is no
more unlucky than thirty, if the vic
tuals hold out. Evansville Breeze.
o. what's the use o grievin?
We're jes in love with life,
For the blossoms on the melon
An the edge is on the knife?
Atlanta Constitution.
The dividing line between inquisi-
tiveness and impertinence is largely
imaginary. Few people can be- in
quisitive without being impertinent. -
Troy Press.
''Hello, Charlie Not ut work?
What's up?" sob, we're ont ON Il
strike" "What' the trouble?" Don't
know; but we'll not give in till we get
it. Boston Beacon.
Columbus and Newton, Franklin and Watts,
In their discoveries found great zest
Yet what to compare with the joy of the man,
With quarter he finds in last summers
vest.
The man who is hailed as public
spirited benefactor at the time loan
is wanted may live to hear himself
howled at as Il blood-sucking vampire
when the money falls due. truth.
He asked her If she Thought popcorn
Was good for indigestion
She said she didn't know would he
Please pop some other question.
Kansas City Journal.
When a man speaks disparingly of
everybody, one of three things is true:
He has the ''big head, y is on bad terms
with himself, or has an intensely jealous
and envious disposition. st. Paul
Globe.
Poverty is disease" howled
speaker. ''And yet," murmured the
poor chap in the back of the hall, I'VE
who are afflicted with it are arrested
whenever We take anything for it ~
Vogue.
Mudge-fThat waiter i'll there is en-
:irely too smart for his business"
Yapsley-"W "Why?" Mudge--'I told
him to get me a rare steak, and he said
t couldn't dc done. indianapolis
journal.
He = 'sBwothsh Chawley has the
owain fevah and he eawn't find aittrse
nigh or low" She -''Sit mp with him
yourself. There is no human possi-
bility of your catching the disease. -
Detroit Free Press.