St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-10-02
TRIED "GERsPR1TzEN."
A Drink That Came Near Doing"
Two Men.


Two Men.
1t was in Old Vienna.
They were two chums, says the Chi
cago Tribune.
The waiter brought them two glasses
of ''gerspritzen." Neither of them had
ever tasted ''gersprItzen;" they saw it
on the wine card and wondered what it
could be. With the same sort of curl
osity that temptS man TO look down the
muZZle OF gun to see if it is loaded and
suddenly discovers that it is, these two
chummy youths ordered ''gerSpritZe1-"
The were what ex-senator Tabor. of
Colorado, would call ''canooZers'' in the
matter of summer beverages, but they
had never soothed their palateS or cleo
tritied their minds with the sparkling
amber fluid of Austria.
The day was not and the ''gersprit-
zen" deliciously cool. The band played
and the handsomely attired crowds
moved gaiIy about. There was no
breeze from the lake. but its absence
was more than condOned by good
strong one that came from young man
with his mouth close TO the right auricle
of his best girl.
The MODERN David and Jonathan
Damon and Pythias, Antony and C8 sar
as 1t were. pledged undying friendship
in the innocent-looking ''gerspritZen."
They clinked glasses merrily and said
"gesundheit" and ''bessen vie kronk-
heit." and in other ways showed that
each had an aggravated case of auld
lang syne. They were totally uncOn-
scIous OF the fact that each glass of the
palatable beverage was equal TO four
revolutions on the Ferris wheel.
With childlike innocence they ordered
more. How it danced and sDarkied in
the glass. How delicate yet how rich
that beautiful tint which finds Its only
counterfeit in the perfect mOuthpiece
OF rare old meerSchaum.
They were drinking the fourth glass.
The band seemed to play a liyelier tune,
the crowds moved about with greater
alacrltY; the bright colors of the decora-
lions seemed to blend into Kaleidoscope
brlllIancy. A large shade tree bent its
branches to the ground in royal salute,
and then. as II 1t were signal, the
other trees bowed and began to go
through an accelerated qnadrille; the
roof OF the cafe raised and lowered like
the lid on coffee pot; the table per-
formed an Irish Jig, and the revelrY OF
the crowd seemed TO take on Baby
lonish jargon.
SHAY, Fred" exclaimed the smaller
man n u ushe liar.''
NV ash Zhat?'
''Shu heard wash l she'd"
Zhu mean TO shut me?"
''Zhure no good"
"Ill break Zhure fache."
''Zhu try it onche.''
The next moment they we're rolling
upon the grass with the table as third
participant. a Columbian guard came
up at this moment. and in few moments
IT was difficult to tell whether Fred.
Charlie. the guard or the table would
come out first best. At times it was
difficult to distinguish which was which.
When the affair was over il was found
that the table had sustained the most
serious Injuries, Fred's right eye was
taking melancholy cast. and Charlie
had lost several strips OF tine complexion
by Fred's finger nails.
Fred and Charlie are friends again.
They go TO the French restaurant and
drink absinthe frappes, they cIink
glasses filled with Duique and mescal at
the Mexican quarters, they sip the fiery
connections of the Turks and daily with
the harmless drinks of the South Sea
Islanders, but they have sworn off on
"geTsDritZen.''
Yesterday they went into Old Vienna
again.
What will the gentlemen have?D
asked the polite waiter.
Anything-anything but 'gersprit-
Zen.' Bring US an arsenic cocktail. fuseI
oil with gunpowder IN it. dynamite
punch. a haSheesh julep, some sui
phuric acid with carpet tacks on the
site-but don't bring any 'gerspritzen,'
remember that! If you have a family
dependent upon you or any tender
ties, smpathies, memories or affections
that bind you to earth and make life
desirable. don't bring any .gersprltzen.'"
When the waiter had disappeared for
two beers Charlie Said:-
II have been in three railroad wrecks
in my life; have had a hand-to-hand
fight with a bear; was carried three
miles by cyclone, and once had dis
pute with the master of ceremonies at
an Irish wake, but as compared with
that ''gerspritZen" all those experiences
combined were an iridescent dream aud
panorama of delight"