St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-02-05

that crank stopping you on the street
when the Thermometer registers 20 be-
low zero, and Offering the information
that this is fine. bracing weather?"
You can only answer Very" with as
much sarcasm as can be introduced into
a voice that is frozen from the knees
up; if your hand weren't frozen Sti Il,
you might chastise him as he deserves,
but your brain is the only really active
organ you have at present, and YOU
must be content with hoping he will
lose his position, have to take job as
grlpman or freeze his nose.
Even the proverbial hedgehog crawled
diSgu sted back into its hole on Candle
mas day. with every briStle frozen stiff
with Indignation, and sWOre he would
not come out again until August,
shadow or no shadow. L suppose he
was afraid of freezing his shadow, and
then Interpolation as weather prophet
would be hopelessly gone.
Fine, braciag weather, indeed! !"
Never mind. you hove good furnace
and warm house awaiting you, and
you will soon reach home-only to have
these bright hopes blasted. Something
looking like an animated pair of
blankets greets you in wee, frozen
squeak: upon investigating you find
your small Daughter on the inside of the
blankets, and looking around you see
other bundles of blankets. shawls. furs,
ETC.. walking to and fro, and the house
feeling like the Arctic regions. From
the depths OF a sealskin coat and two
bed quilts a hollow voice informs you
1.-THE furnace got a clinker in it and has
gone out, they have been waiting for
you to come home and build a fire. and
do hurry up. john, for we are freezing
all III breath, and crawls back under
the quilts; and this to man who has
been walking i'll an atmosphere Of icicles
all day and is cold and hungry! You
then give vent TO the same language
that is justifable when you fall over
rocking chairs while hunting for
matches in the dark. Your wife DIS
solves into tears. which freeze on her
lasheS, the kitchen girl gives
notice, and your maiden aunt
takes refuse in the Bible and
tries to take some comfort i'll read
ing verses about the burning bush, the
pillar of fire. the three men i'll the fur
n &c, and other warm subjects. But
d iwn into that cold, damp cellar you
must 90. You decide to live in steam
heated flat of two rooms next winter as
Won tumble down the stairs and fall into
the ash heap, from which you emerge
nearly suffocated, to kick the unotfend-
ing pussy who has perched herself OH
top of the furnace to try and thaW out
her "meow." Then the poker breaks
and the coal spills. BY the time you
have the fire built you are too cold to
eat, and crawl into bed hungry, to wait
until the house gets warmed up. You
ever after feel an added respect for
Greedy, Melville and other Arctic eX-
plorers, and as you lie shiyerlng under
the covers, reinforced with rugs from
the floor and your overcoat, You wonder
when ST. Paul ministers VIII come 10
their senses and cease preaching ABOUT
eternal fire being punishment.
saw an extraordinary sight this week
which | think should be reported 10 the
historical society May be it is not toe
late to catch it and preserve II; II too
late for preservation, | hope record OF
this phenomena will be placed amongst
our Indian traditions. | fear an uhue'
liaving public will set it down as "oniy
tradltion''-I think "tradition' sounds
so much prettier than lie" Any one
subject to heart disease had better Stor
here and read no further; the shock
may make their hearts jump out OF
their mouths. and | am not willing tc
figure in q damage suit, Just be
cause [ am kind enough to give
the public the banefi Of my experience
| saw red hot street car stove! Now
of course, YOU don't believe that, and
hiOb If If
did so. that line would become block
AIDED by the multitude rushing to see
such sight. | think it has never oc-
Cured in any city before. and would be
better advertisement for st. Pau
than an ice palace or acyclone. When
| saw that stove / was so overcome
with establishment, awe and Severa
other emotions which | did not pause tC
analyZe. that [ completely forgot my
street car manners and walked the
length of that ear without treading up0r
any ones toes, knocking any babe;
from their mothers arms or stumbling
over any market baskets. Dom
flatter yourselves hot stove i;
going to be a common occurrence
| inquired at headquarters for the cause
of this extravaganza. with little ray OF
hope intruding itself into my frozer
body, only to learn ''that the door haG
become fastened and refused to OpeI
until the coal on the inside was en-
tirely consumed" consequently it couiC
not be subjected to the usual squelch
ing process that street car stoves have
to 60 through if they dare show the
faintest signs of life or heat. Tha
liberal conductor has been dismissed
for the good of the service" and the
discomfort of the travelling public, anC
the stove ornaments an ash heap. Won
the public step forward and take up {
collection to keep that stove and con
ductor in luxury until they reach {
better land. where heat will be drug
OH the market instead of luxury?
Speaking of street cars reminds me o.
how much is written and said abOu
men who do not offer women q seat
Couldn't some women mend their owl
manners a trifle and stop railing agains
the Sterner sex? have see girls enter
a car and glare at the males who KEEP
their seats, and when they have finally
secured seats themselves and an elderly
lady gets into the car, do they offer hel
a seat? Not usually. But last week
did see one of st. PauPS sweetest WON
en- rise and offer an old woman her seat
but before the latter could accept per-
little miss had secured the prize, anC
both women had to stand. Most mer
consider it a pleasure to give lady {
seat, but woe betide the elderly female
who happens upon car full of girls
She is lucky if she is allowed to hang
on to the rear platform. Z. IL. X.