The morning call., 1893-04-04
THE BURGLAR.

He might very well have asked me for a
fill of tobacco 1--WE we're fellow-travelers in
third-class carriage) without telling me
that he had not smoked pipe for eighteen
months.
In face of such candor l felt it nc pre-
sumption to inquire in friendly tone how
lie and the laws of his country had man.
aged to fall out.
Pulling luxurlously at his pipe, he looked
at me for a moment, decided apparently
that l was a man who could appreciate a
"reminiscences, slapped his thigh and with a
chuckle began his story:
I'm tell you, sir, cos you're a gen tleman.
Me and my mate got wind OF very touchin'
little occurrence as had took place at crib
called Minerv '0use. The young ladies as
got their learning there took and gave the
misses a Illuminated address and a and
some silver salver on the occasion when the
old woman had been teachin' of 'em five and
twenty year
1T were real 'andsome salver. and me
ana Bill saw it in the shop winder before it
went up to the house. Well, sir, me and
Bill 'ad bin workn' ard for five and twenty
year, too, mighty 'ard some of it, on FER
Majesty's 'lowance q grub-and we thought
we 'ad as good right to that salver as the
missus.
SHE could ave the address, and we'd
call it square. So one dark night we packed
up the tools and started for Minervy 'Ouse.
I'VE knowed about where the plate was
KEEP. 1t lay in chest In the old lady S
room on the second floor, and we knowpd
about where ladder was, too, and we reck-
oned we could persuade the old lady to lay
quiet.
'Ere's luck. We don't want n ladder
They got the fire escape up agin the wall.
aud. jedge me, If it amt slap by the missus'
winderr
You may guess, sir as we said grace, for
gettin' the ladder hout was the ticklish bit
ON account of the gardener sleepin' andy
to it.
lord! it's easy as drinkin' says I, so
we admit much fear OF the job gOln' wrong.
Well-trouble you for another fill, sit
when we come over the wall and got near
the 'nuse, Bill e says, Up we goes, and
there we areP
''Upw went, sir-I fust and Bill follerIn'.
The escape was beautiful goin', and O.
course no one could spot us, but told Bill to
stay near the bottom aud give me a shout if
any one came round.
We'll, then, up goes. sir, soft and sure.
and soon l was a-standtng with my cad
Just out O. the escape and not three feet
below the wnder. L 'adn't made sound.
sir s'welp me. admit, and 1t was all goin'
beautiful. Things was so quiet that
allied Bill and told him to come up and
bring the sack for the stuff, and he come
nothink.
Now, list me up, old man, says I. and
I'll do the trick Bill was just a-putling
his shoulder under my leg to list me, when,
all on student, the shindy begun.
"a bell rung. There were shrieks of
Fire! Fire! then a lot of runnin' about
and bit O laughin' and screechin', and
then the escape begun to move. You may
suppose, sir, as we wasn't over and above
pleased. We got down into the escape and
lay still. sir, and the old thing moved like
winkin'.
Some one down below says 'Lor', Minie
ain'C it 'eavy?' But we Travelled, sir, ali
the same. Presently we stopped aud l says
to Bill:
"Can we clear?'
Not it, says he. There's crowd on
'em down below
Curse the fire. says 1. Can you see
No says Bill. Blamed if /"
jest at that minute, sir, we card win
der open. And thumpi Somethin' soft
come tumblin' down on me, driving my
cad into my shoulders and my feet into
BlPs mouth. You should ave card Bill!
Then the soft thing Civ awful screech,
and, thump! come another, and nv cad
come further into my neck and my toes 60
further down old Bits throat
"Ihump came another and then another,
and that started US, and we all bundled off
to the bottom Of the escape like a fash o.
IlE III lu6 UOiIOll, HE next, ana
the rest O. 'em-they was gals, sT-screamin'
and 'olerin' and gigglin' like mad.
linen when we touched bottom. first
thing l knew was sOms one a-turuin' the
garden 'ose full on me, while fat old girl
shouted out Now. then, rule Is, use the
'ose freelyp
They did use 1t, sir. Soon as ever tried
TO sing out got gallon druv into me-16
Orse-pOweI-and took down more water
than ever did afore.
Last, the old gal with the booker was
shOutin' Rule 13'-twiggeI ME aud Bill, and
then fun begun over again.
Way went the book and Rule IS; way
went all the gals as 'ad come down with US
in the escape-and there was above dozen.
sir. III take my oath-and they stopped
Thieves! Murderv
Then l said to Bill, Time we moved, eh,
BtllP But Bill, Q grOaned and damned me
for breakin' his teeth. and lay still wringin'
out his clothes, and aiore he come to 'imself
the gardener was sittin' on his cad, and
the copper 'ad mine tucked away COM
fable under his arm, and the game was just
about up. sir
well, sir, look at 1t. If there'd bin
fire 1t 'ud "a bin jest ellis own luck. and
there 'ud a bin an end of it. But, Lor'
bless We, there never warn't no fire
when they brought US 10 the old girl, SO
as she could charge us, there she w6S, with
about twenty pretty young ladies all round
eI-dll Oh eHl IN tue neateSt DatUln' dresses
you ever see, with their 'eads in sponge
bags so as not to Spite their air, and the old
gal smiled and laughed, and she said:
SO very fortunate, Mr.. Constable, that
it occurred tonight. Hotherwise we might
not ave detected these wicked men,
Then l up and saws, IT'S the fortin o.
war, mum, and we ain't cOmplanin'. but
I'd take it kindly. mum. if you'd tell MS
what in the old un's name you might be up
to, for don't see no more fire nor cou d
put on the end of my thumb and heat for a
relish
And she SAYS: 'Ye don't deserve, man.
as how | should tell We anythink, but as We
arsk it 'appens that you IN ade yer wicked
attempt on the night of hour fire Drip
and it's fact. sir; the copper told me i'm
self.
Once week them gals got up a fire out
OF their own 'eads, put on their bathin'
dresses, tumble down that there escape ard
garden use 'emseives at the bottom. Tia .
lire DRILL that is, sir. And you may bet us
low l shan't forget it..
He mopped his brow. & sudden vision of
the young ladies descending in an avalanche
on him and Bill came across me, and burst
out laughing. After moment he laughed.
too, slapping his thigh. Then he recovered
his gravity and appealed to Inc as a reason
bic man.
Once week, hall the year round, sir,
Amt it handlcappin' man ?"-St. James
Gazette.