Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1893-10-15
DEGERpEHTs OF EVE CRAZY
To BE P=rllamsntsFians---No-
men who Indulge in Free Fights,
Work Hard the Newspapers For
PAM, aud Butcher the queens
English.
(cspyright, 1898, By the Box syuai-
cate Press, New iorkl.


wants 70 call h = club. and to bgn ~
be parlia-uenIary. Ives daughters are
not clubbahle When Few nice women
meet have ! nice time arrange to come
tog ther sOon agalu, and keep on meet
Ing Informally each week or 50, It's de-
liEhiful But the very minute the woman
enters who has once belonged 70 a club.
the heaven OF unhlppiue<s comes; rrea-
ident is elected. rules are made. the Wv
men sillHblle. and they ye1rn for d.
asripii0u= thrr meetings 90 - Wnt-
ten 10 IN he newspapers l once hal ior
twO mnnils the doubtful felicity Of be
longing 10 a club, and during hat uu-e
/ heard more bad English. saw more en-
w, hatred. malice aud all uutharita1le-
ness. aud came nearer to losing ny oWn
seif-respect than ever before. bccagse
belonged o. the SCI that ali that club did.
! CLUB WOAli1N ARE so SILLY.
Z Since then / have had the extreme
I pleasure OF being present at various c.up
mpctiug and every time l 20 ! w.sh
/ ] had me pen Of q Dickens aud the pencil
af IiosIrth. The woman vita uumiu-
gated gall am obliged 70 use q sZniT
aud cOlrs, word. thr woman WIZ -
] the m1st .u evidence. she pushts past
The more refined wJlz and counts heE'
srif the "Hylcv." NyXt 20 her comes
she gushing woman who gets Up aud dis-
| tribute. nuJtery with uowei until the
: Nml4IFM AAHNA ML4Al aAE - tAAA.As 80
[ 90 believe lhey are something 1ao7e than
women aud not les than gods. Tie
/ feu.niHs idea of parliamentary rule ls
I sn,ique; some enthusiast W.il tD'rd
I motion; another wall get up rsht IN the
uidst Of An argument as 10 now ihj
! rent il to be raised for the club rooms,
aud afscr saying that she hopes they viii
4 get H. tell au Affecting little story about
/ her baby girl praying that she may soon
[ be old enough 10 join mamnas cluo.
Then everybody app.luds aud one tender
/ hearted woman jumps up and says: -
I know that was good speech because il
made me cry
| The iAst club meeting that / attended
/ made such al Impression upon me that
] couldu sleep all night, and my family
{ objecting to me mcantering around in
/ long white robe and frightening the
| dogs. lliuk that | had better not accept
I another invitation. The speaker who
/ locked % II she were in training for q
1 prlze-hsht, out who at that time was
/ only wrestling with the Queens English.
| announced that she wasn't going to make
I se. speech but just give a talk, which
/ talk she promptly proceeded ta read from
/ bundle 0f manuscript. Il va an iguor-
| ant, vulgar piece Of ilattery; ii simply
| PRAISED everybody aud eyerytbing and
I Flmmed up the situatiOn by concluding
( that everybody who didn't yearn to wear
the special badge " that club and who
I wasn't proud VI belonging TO Il. had
I better-weN, ! don't exactly know what
| they had better do; but anyhow. got oa
| into innocuous deMetude.
There i3 no comparative degree In a
| woman's club. Everything il superlatiye.
| A young woman, who wore pink felt
| hat on which black feathers bobbed, and
| whose hair had the stamp that marks
the caste Of peroxide of hydrogen. was
presented to me as Miss Lulu Smithers,
the greatest dramatic actress living" !
confess 70 being frightened and ! know
| Miss LULU Smithers set me down as
| being an idiot. ! had met the divine
| Sarah; l had met the exquisite Jane
! Hading; | had delighted in Ellen Terry,
| ioyei with Mrs. Kendall, starred at Duse,
| had lived twenty-nIDe years, had gone 10
i the thcIter ever since / was years old.
and had never heard Of Miss Snillhers,
the greatest dramatic actress. Immed.
| lately after that. Miss Angelina Bas.
Bleu came up, aud was announced as
| 'the writer Of today" She was tall:
she spoke of herself as slender But /
hnd bony women often call themselves
| SHE HAD A MOUTH LIKE A
| BULLDOG,
! and her clothes looked like they had
/ hoen tired at her, aud by chance stuck,
| She was graciouspess Itself. indeed. II
may be said that she condeScenled 10
| uIe'to such an extent that | felt she was
| Wipng up the hoor with me. Her voice
uud her walk were alike strident In a
sort Of long-dlstance telephone tone she
1 hhllOaed; II an told that you write a
/ Little" / grew two inches shorter, and
said; lon the typewriter" Her nostrIl,
inflated; she looked at me pityingly, and
added: II though YOU were one OF US.
There are times that feel must write;
feel glnttartqu did l fa,I fh.
attietus; ! get up In the night aud nut
my thoughts down in burning words
aud for three days afterwards / am uag-
fectly exhausted" | always like TO buy
new book, 80 l weakly said 1T NAV
sound very ignorant, for | should lie
I 10 know the name Of your last book. fnr
| believe ! would enjoy It" With glance
that ought 60 have Killed me but didn't,
she answered, and II % had beeu through
the "phonc" they would have heard hrr
IN Washlngton. ~ have never yet pnl-
lished My thoughts are too hscred for
The world as large 'raen had the same
feeiug thAt dog has when he walks
out of room with his tail between his
A MOB OF CLUB LoJNGERs
i Was introduced to the famous SON.
brc,te who had never made her appear
apec on guy stage; | was introduced 10
shp Cumius woman, who was 70 rewriis
an tbs plays 10 show the faults Of hi,
great drainatist and all thr players Of
The prcscat day; | WIS introduced 90 A
young woman who asked mr " MS
athlctic, mad TO one Who asked ME 4
wore cur.t IS. and who called down uuon
me an aNful present aud a fuutr. ~
lire unl sulphur when / said / did.
FrLniess sf all, l was Introduced to a
woman who was called she woman.
friend" aui who yet 10 my knowledge
nad deirAuded young woman ous nf