The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1893-02-09
FLIGHTS INTO FUNNY'DlOM.
TREND OF THE MINDS OF THE
{ HUMORlSTS.
He Was an Outcast--About Slang
Az@5 The Office Boys Item--Not in
His Line Exactly--A Nice
Compliment--A Boy Z
Prima Donna.
He was an Outcast.

80 aSE" Tie was an
The old man who sat by the road
side coughed violently. He seemed TO
have one foot in the grave, yet he
was a wanderer, ragged and forlorn.
A little boy stared in wonder at the
strange, decrepit figure.
"Why don't you go home?" the
child demanded.
The old man shuddered. Buryine
his face in his hands hemoaned miser-
ably. s
Don't cry a.. $685. " -t.
The words OF comfort from the ten
der lips wrung the grief-stricken heart.
Boy
His voice trembled with age and
bodily weakness.
II dare not 20 home"
Don't dare?" r.-
The youthful eyes grew big with as
constituent.
"No, I do not dare"
There WAS a world of sadness in his
tone. -
"Twenty-seven years ago, boy, 1
left my home bright and early. My
wife kissed me fondly'-
Tears sprang to his eyes and rolled
UNDECIDED down his cheeks.
-"and told me to get some thread,
sugar, tOweling, matches, a wash
board, s%aleratus, needles and-and'-
AS he faltered the look of agony in
his face grew more intense:
.-"and one other thing, that l for
got I
have been an outcast ever since. I
dare not 60 home"
lntently the boy watched the stoop-
ing figure until it hobbled laboriously
from sight.-Detroit Tribune.
About Slang.
"Slang is no good" remarked the.
drummer to a Detroit Free Press re.
porter, land a man is clean off his
base when he monkeys with it,"
Gas to how" inquired the hotel
clerk.
"Well, this is how" continued the
drummer. 1.-TWO weeks ago I went
into Boston with a. traveller from Chi
cago who couldn't speak ten words OF
English pure and undefiled. At the
railroad station he tackled a hack
driver.
"|Say, hackie,' said he, what's the
damage to take me to Parker's?"
"'No damage at all, SIR replied the
hackman, with a Harvard accent.
"'Sure?" =:
"'Quite sure, sir, if you go with.
"Then I'll go with you and he piled
in and l took g. street car. -
= "At Parker's the driver opened the
door and politely handed him out.
Are you all right, sir?' he inquir-
"'You bet I am. Never was finer
."'Had a pleasant driver
"'Bang up
"'Arrived here in good condition.
"a I, thanks and he started into
the hotel.
"'Two dollars, please said the
AIAFol, utCitAlllJB Hlul.
81 thought you said there was no
damage he said in surprise.
There wasn't, sir. Haven't you
just said everything was all right and
you were in excellent condition.
"'Yes, but .
"1 understand perfectly, SIR in
terrupted the driver. If you had
asked the fare, I should have inform
ed you, but you did not. presumed
that was quite immaterial to you so
long as you were delivered at your
destination safely and without dam
age - -&.r.> -
1.-THE slangv man did not discuss
the point. He handed over the So,
aud has since been more careful Of
his lingo" i.
lis A Bad Dream. = r.
The mother Of Mrs. Yerger died not
long since, and the Colonel and Mrs
Yerger were sitting by the fire talking
about her. ~.
II dreamt about her last night"
said Yerger.
""What did you dream?" asked Mrs.
Yerger.
II don't like to tell you, Maria"
"But I want to know" Ill.,
ITa---Sl 49, 49, NvL.---- I - y 49, =