The morning call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1878-1895, 1893-04-10
GOING TO THE WORLDS FAIR.
A Man Who Expects TO Learn a Good
Deal at Trifliug Expense.

DeaI at a lflliug Expense.
New YORK Tribune.
''If you see any good articles on the
Worlds Fair" said the cynic, "or hear of
any good exhibits around here which are
going 10 be sent there, just let me- know
about them, please?"
much interested in the fair?" asked the
other.
Very much" answered the other dryly.
Going to study it all up before you 60,
SO that you can sea aud examine things in
diligently.
Exactly"
Aren't you afraid it will detract from
your pleasure?"
IN OF in the slightest"
Don't you think that half the pleasure
of such things consists in the anticipation
and the other half in the surprise, the
novelty OF the thing ?'
Not a Bit"
$50 YOU are grinding up on 1t already, as
we used 10 say In college when we were
getting ready for examination?"
Yes, sir; that's what I'm doing. If
there is anything about the buildings there
that | don't know I'd like TO hear about it,.
can tell you the square feet in every Oh g
OF them. have studied all the maps and
diagrams OF the grounds, and can redraw all
the buildings for you. know where every
statue is going to be, and who made it and
what ii is supposed TO represent 1 can de-
scribe all the faeades, all the frezes,
the entablatures, the columns and ali
the other architectural features | am
the bronze work. l can give you all
the measurements of the silver statue.
L know what and who are are going to be in
the German, the Swiss, the Russian and the
Swedish villages. have taken account of
every case Of exhibits that has come from
Spain. | have carefully prepared list of
the exhibit from the Vatican. am familiar
with the collections OF armor which have
come from foreign nations for the fair. |
know all about tie jewels which are going
10 be shown there. / can even tell you
where the peanut-stands and refreshment-
counters will be on the grounds"
We'll, said the other, you are an en-
thusiast. l suppose that a man who is so
Interested as you in the fair will put in
about all summer al the big show. You
certainly have made a good start"
Il latter myself that | am doing pretty
well" said tn e Worlds Fair expert.
And You are stllllhuDgry for more knOwl-
Want every bit can get"
" men DO you expect to 90 to the fair 9'
My dear friend. were you ever in Chicago
in the summer"
Yes, I've been there"
Were you ever IN hotter place ?''
IT'S pretty warm sometimes. Oh, l see
,
able to go through the whole business In
short ordeI-say in couple of weeks in
October, when rs cool and pleasant"
Pleasant, Ell? Don't you know that
everybody will go in the fall to miss the hot
weather? Were you ever in a Chicago
crowd? Do you think l want to be torn TO
pieces? Do you think want to stay at a
hotel where they sleep sixty in a room? Do
you think want to stand around dining
room Tor three hours waiting for chance
TO get seat at table? Do you think am
going TO get up at O'clock in the morning
to get room en- stTeetcar when | want to
go anywhere? Do You think l want to en-
gage cabs six months in advance at SIPS a
dayP Go in the fall? / guess not"
''Of course. | see. Goiag in the spring?"
Going in the spring." howled the New
York man. Gong in the spring when Chi
cage Is breeding place. for malaria and
yphns lever. when mans life is In danger
every time he fills his lungs with Chicago
air, when life wouldn't be worth living
under any circumstances? Not exactly this
spring"
Well. when are you going then ?''
When am going? Do you know how
I'm going 10 the Worlds Fair? About the
LIST of July Pm going TO start for the fair.
only IN going 10 quiet place ON the sea-
shore. I'm going 10 swim, fish, sail and
take life easy. I'm going to read the pa
pers once in while, just to see how people
out there in Chicago are suffering | am
going to gain fOrty-five pounds About
September 1 Pm coming home, fat and
coniented, 10 goat over the miserable
wrecks that have got back from Chicago.
l am going to tell them how / enjoyed the
fair. I'll know all about it-more than
they will know. I'll declare the fair was a
perfect success. Nobody will ever know
that was not there. I'll be in good health
and about $1,000 in pocket. That's the way
I'm going TO the fair"