davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
A Cure for Drunkenness.

The habitual drunkard in Norway
or Sweden renders himself liable to
imprisonment for his love of strong
drink, and, during his incarceration,
he is required to submit to a plan
of treatment for the cure of his fail
ing, which is said to produce mar
velous results.
The plan consists in making the
delinquent subsist entirely OH bread
and wine. The bread is stepped in
a bowl for an hour or more before
the meal is served.
The first day the habitual topper
takes his food in this shape without
any repugnance; the second day he
finds it less agreeable to his palate;
finally, he positively loaths the sight
Of it.
Experience shows that a period
of from eight to ten days of the re-
gimen is generally more than suffi-
cient to make a man evince the
greatest aversion to anything in
the shape of wine. Many men, af-
ter their incarceration, become total
abstainers.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Will Give it a Trial.

Rivers-"lf you are suffering
from rhumatism. Banks, why don't
you try carrying a cedar knot in
your pocket? They say it has
been known to cure"
Banks-"That's too utterly pre-
posterous and idiotic for any sem
sible man to believe"
81 don't know anything about
it myself, but a friend of mine
says he has heard it sometimes rec
commended. While carrying the
knot in the pocket the person
with the rhumatism must at the
same time drink a gill of apple
brandy twice day
"Rivers, I'll try it! There may
be something in it. A cedar knot
did you say y?"--Chicago Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Recovered Her Sight.

A Scotch paper tells of farm
er's wife who has a great deal of
trouble with her servants. The
other day one of them came to her
to say:
MADAM, | feel ] shall not be
able to work much longer. think
| am going blind"
"Why, how is that? You seem
to get along pretty well with
your work"
Yes; but | can no longer see
any meat on my plate at dinner"
The farmers wife understood,
and the next day the servants were
served with very large and very
thin pieces of meat.
How NICE" the girl exclaimed;
my sight has come back. | can
see better than ever"
How is that, Bella?"
"Why, at this moment" replied
Bella, Il can see the te::through
the meat"
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Catching a Big Shark.

British bark Active, which was sur
veying the west coast of Africa
from Possession island to cape Cross.
We had been at work in Hotten-
tot bay, on the coast of Hottentot
land, for three or four days, when
a monster shark was seen cruising
around the vessel. We had just
finished dinner, and everybody
crowded to the port rail to get
sight of the big fish. We had
men aboard who had sailed every
sea, but no one had ever seen a
shark like this. He had come
straight in from the ocean, and he
made three circles around the bark
and then took up a position just
off her starboard quarter and only
10 feet away, as If to wait for
something to happen. No one
put his length at less than 20 feet,
and his spread of jaws would have
enabled him to take in common
-four barrel.
no not believe that one sailor
in twenty has ever seen a shark out
of water. While it is not much of
trick to hook, one, it is a great
deal of trouble to get big fellow
on deck, and the killing of him
creates bad muss. For this rea-
son few captains will allow hook
to be put out. In this case, how
ever, the fish was of such bulk
that his presence would be
menace to a quarter boat pulling
about the bay, and the captain
ordered the second mate to super
intend his capture. A shark hook
which | believe no draft horse
could have broken by a steady pull
was baited and flung over on the
opposite side. 1t had scarcely
touched the water when the shark
sank from sight, passed under the
keel of the bark, and next instant
there was a cry that he had taken
the hook. He started straight out
for sea as fast as he could 60, and
when brought up at the end of 200
feet of line the "snub" shot him
out of water half his length.
1t took just 30 minutes to get
the fish alongside so that bowline
could be slipped down over his
head. 1t took seven men TO play"
him. A dozen times over he drag
ged them six or eight feet along
the deck as he made a rush, and
several times he preached his full
length above the surface. As
many as l5 of us lent a hand to
hoist him on deck, and three or
four men at once fell upon him
with sharp axes and made an end
of him. He measured 81 feet lack
ing an inch. He had seven rows
of teeth in his jaws, and when we
pried them open it was seen that u
barrel had plenty of room between
them.
As soon as the monster was dead
two men set to work to rip him
open, and we made some queer
finds. There were two empty meat
cans, a beer bottle, an old shoe, a
piece of inch chain foot long, a
sailors sou'wester, the half Of a
large earthen platter, big beef
bone, the handle of a tin dipper
and lot of wire which seemed to
have been a birdcage when it passed
his jaws. No doubt he had dined
OH more than one human being,
but we found no proofs of it. As
to his age no one could even guess,
but he was big enough to have
towed the bark at the end of a
hawser, When we heaved the car
cass overheard, dozen ordinary
sized sharks gathered to feed on it,
and there was enough to give them
all hearty meal.-Skipper.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
WHOLE NO. 1888.

dertook to make the sale. She got
a peck measure, and then went to
the granary. There the woman
filled the measure twice, poured it
into the bag which the man held
open, and then was going to tie
the bag and take the pay for a
bushel. "But, madam" said he lit
takes four pecks to make a bushel. !"
"Oh, does it," said she; "Well,
you see, | never had any experience
in measuring grain before ! was
married; | always taught SCHOOL,!
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Fig Pudding.

Beat two eggs with egg-beater
until light, then add one cup of
milk and two cups of sifted flour;
stir in slowly and beat until smooth
add three tablespoonsful of melted
butter, dust of salt, heaping tea
spoonful of baking powder, half
pound choice dried figs, chopped
fine; mix well and pour into a
pudding dish CREASED with butter,
set in steamer over kettle of boil
ing water and steam two hours
serve with hard sauce made by mix
ing smooth sugar and butter to-
gether and grating nutmeg over it.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Mrs. Upperten-"It was very
thoughtless of you to speak of Pa
tience on a Monument in the pres
ence of DIR. Fewkures." Her daugh-
get-"Why?' Mrs. Upperten-
because, with so many of his
patients under monuments, he pro-
badly took it as a personal reflec-
ton. Troy Press.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

A parson who had a call from a
little country parish to large and
wealthy one in big city asked
time for prayer and consideration.
Finally some one met his youngest
son on the street. "How is it,
JOSIAH" said the neighbor; is
your father going to B--?"
"Well," answered the youngest,
judicieusly, ''paw is still praying
for light, but most of the things is
packed
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

won't you give me just one lit.
tie kiss, my darling?" he pleaded, in
a low and tender tone. III can only
say." she answered in her brisk and
breezy western style, "that l am a
true Chicago girl, and the motto of
Chicago is, i will. '"-Somerville
Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

"By the way" inquired the young
woman with the bundles, turning
back for a moment, 'do you fill
mail orders" "I--I think not,
miss" replied the new salesman,
somewhat hesitatingly. "The mat
rimonial agency is in the next block,
th."-Chicago Tribune.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
0. |. PARTRIDGE.
Real Estate Agent
Rooms 4, 5, Dawson Block.
wnl take charge.of estates for residents and non.
residents collect rents pay taxes, place insurance
obtain abstracts OF title, etc.
Office hours-10 to 12A. M, 4 to6P.M.

Wicks-"Yes, Mrs. Norshea is
really eloquent when she touches
upon home happiness"
Hicks-"Her home is model
one, | am sure"
Wicks-"Well, hardly that. Sup
posed, of course, that you knew that
she and her husband never speak,
But then, that has nothing to do
with the theory of the thing, you
know. boston transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Birds of Passage

Between this and the other sido OF the broad At
lantic, in the shape Of tourists commercial travel
ers and mariners, agents "on the road" steam
boat captains, ships surgeons and "all sorts and
conditions of travellers, emigrants and settlers
appreciate and testify to the preventive and re-
medal properties of Hostetters Stomach Bitters in
sea sickness, nausea, malarial and rheumatic
bowels. Against the prejudiciai influences Of
climate, crudey cooked or unaccustomed diet and
impure water, it is sovereign safeguard. and has
been SO regarded by the travelling public for over
from the calentura of the Pacific and the broken
bone fever of the Mississippi to it's milder types,
persons in feeble health liable to incur disease.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Husband-"I think | will run
over to Chicago for week during
the fair" Wife-"Then | think |
will go with you. What is fair for
one is fair for two" Husband
mo, my dear; what is fare for one
is far from being fare for two."-
New York Herald.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

"Isn't it heavenly" said Miss
Birdie McGinnis to Gus Clam
whooper, after they had heard Pad
erewski pound the piano. "Heav-
enly?" replied Gus, who went mere
iy to accommodate Birdie. "Heav-
enly? / suppose So. 1t sounds like
thunder. ."-Tammany Times.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Beautiful Theory.

Hicks-''l heard Mrs. Norshea
lecture last evening on how to make
home happy. II was a beautiful
thing. She said the true wife
should always send her husband
away in the morning with kiss,
and greet him in the evening with
n smile"
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Worse and Worse.

Sometimes an apology for blum
der is worse than the blunder itself.
One day man went to buy q
bushel of buckwheat for sowing.
He found the farmer of whom he
was to buy the grain away; but
his wife was at home, and she un-
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

There Is a reason why a business
that has been built up by advertis-
ing cannot afford to stop or change
its tactics. The class of trade that
has been secured is the kind that
is influenced by advertising, and he
who would hold it must continue
using the same means.-Printer's
Ink
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Schoolmistress Ciust beginning a
nice improving lesson upon miner
ais to the Juniors -"Now, what
are the principal things we get out
of the earth?" Youthful angler
(aged 4, confidentially)-"Worm "
-Tid-Bits.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

NO" sadly said the stranger at
the restaurant, as he looked at the
cup of coffee handed out to him
"you can take it back. | haven't
the heart to attack anything so
weak as that. It's against my prin-
ciples."- Texas Siftings.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Servant-"Step this way, Mr..
Whizz." Caller-''Mr. what? My
name Is Jones'" Servant-"Your
pardon, sir. When | handed your
card to Miss Mollie she said 'G.
Whizz. Show him in.' '"-Bing-
hamton Leader.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

did Mrs. Dudderson cry when
her daughter married old Boohdel?"
"Yes, poor thing. 1t is tough to
bring up daughter and then, at
the age of q, have her cut her
mother out" t."-Harper's Bazaar.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
II IS Strange

That people suffering from Piles will
endure them for years or submit to dan
gerous, painful, cruel and expensive
surgical operations, when all the time
there is a painless, certain, lasting cure
which gives instant relief and costs but q
trife. 1t is called the Pyramid Pile Cure
and can be found at all drug stores. Any
druggist will get 1t for you If you ask
him.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

."Oh, Maria, I'm SO glad to see
you; | haven't seen you for ever SO
long. Where are you boardingP"
Maria (loftily)-"I don't board;
am married and have taken a flat" )"
"You don't say so! What is his
name?" ?"--Boston Commercial-Bull-
etin
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Wife-"See, my dear, this style of
dress is the very latest fashion" ="
Husband with a deep sigh)-"How
glad | would be if it would contin-
ne to be the latest fashion. ."-Schalk.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Deacon Jones--Do you think it
sinful to marry for money? Par
son Tium-It never occurred to me
so; on the contrary sometimes |
have thought the fee was too small. "
Boston Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Old subscriber (to editor)-"Can
you lend me S5' Editor--"We
cannot" Old subscriber-'Paper
not doin' much, eh?" Editor
"Well, we're holdin' our own. v
Atlanta Constitution.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

He-"Now that our little quar-
rel is all made up, | would. ask you
to take a good cigar, if you were a
man." She-"And if you were a
woman | should ask you to join me
in a real good cry."-lndianapolis
Journal.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

The greatest trouble with the man
who learns to play poker is that
when he gets the game learned he
hasn't anything to play it with
Elmira Telegram.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Mrs. Blank.-"You were very late
at the club last night. The day
actually broke before you got
home" Mr.. Blank--"But | was
broke long before the day."-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

Friend HAS the landlord raised
your rent this month ?" Tenant
IL sincerely hope he has, for I've
tried to and failed. Inter Ocean.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
HUMOROUS.

The best place for maiden trips
is on the sea of matrimony. Kate
Fields Washington.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

The duties of worlds fair hotel
cashier are very exacting. If you
don't believe it, ask some of the
guests.-Buffalo Courier.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

rs Bankcoin very ill?" "Yes;
he is perfectly listless. Don't take
interest" Say, doctor, you try
borrowing a few hundreds from
him. Inter Ocean.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31

THAT was clever joke Bagley
played on the mind-reader." What
was it?" Submitted himself as a
subject. Truth.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Father-You have been fighting,

Boy Call used up)-Ye-yes, sir.
Father-Well, who was whipped?
Boy with dignity)-The law
does not compel one to criminate
himself.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
MICHIGANCENTRAL
"The Niagara Falls Route"
Time Card in Effect.

sDaiiy. Daily except Sunday. Carrying
passengers with permits.
Psrlor car on day trains and sleeping cars on
night trains.
The direct line 20 Niagara Falls, Buffalo, New
York, Boston, Detroit, Toledo, Chicago, and all
points in the United states and Canada.
Through tickets 20 all points in the United States
and Canada.
WHITING, Ticket Agent.
o.w. RUGGLEs. @. p. at. Agt.
Alpena argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1893-1909, 1893-05-31
Detroit, Bay CITY & Alpena R.R.

Accom- Mail and Mail and Accom-
modation Express Express. mediation.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
A Custom That Is Very Old Indeed.

A bride made the confession to a group
Of young women who gathered around
her after the wedding ceremony and the
congratulations had been said and
owned up to having worn yellow gar
ter fort years, that she had counted
the stars and carried out the various
bits Of lore that are prophetic Of a speedy
marriage and happiness ever after.
She wore something old and something new,
Something borrowed and something blue.
on her wedding night, and, moreover,
wore a silver COMA Columbian half
dollar--in her shoe. She was showered
with the usual amount Of rice when it
came time to get into the carriage and
drive away for the honeymoon trip, and
had old shoes and good wishes enough
sent after her to make the after years
joyous ones if they all hold good, and,
moreover, when she opens her trunk and
travelling bag and the bridegroom opens
his umbrella enough rice will come to
light to make their first rice pudding, and
the shoe strapped on the outside OF the
trunk will tell its own tale.
It is strange how much enjoyment one
gets out Of such harmless things, but the
custom lasts, and the older 1t grows the
more rigidly it is adhered to.-Buffale
News .....
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
His Plaintive Plea.


He had loved her very tenderly and
for long time, but she had scorned
him. He was no worm either, for he
would have turned when trod upon, but
she rocked not this. It was enough for
her that she did not care for him. This
is usually enough for any woman; also
for any man when the boot is on the
other foot, for Of such is the kingdom
Of Cupid.
His condition had at last become un-
bearable to him, and he resolved to win
all or lose all. It was late one evening
when the fateful moment came.
"Will you marry mel" he asked her
in pain, untrimmed English, for he could
trust himself to nothing in the orna-
mental line.
She spurned him scornfully.
"Nep she replied, with sarcastic, hate
full, cruel emphasis, t'No"
Theword pierced the heart in his bos-
ON. His lips quivered, and at first he
could not speak.
"Have you no more to say?" he asked
at last plaintively.
mo, sir" she replied. "What more
could sayap
Again he Shrank at the cruel thrust.
II didn't know" he murmured tremu-
lously, "but think you might have said
No, I thank YOU"
Then he fled away so weary with dis
asters, trigged with fortune, that he
would set his life on any chance to mend
it or be rid Of it.-Detroit Free Press.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
Sweet Graduates Everywhere.

The sweet girl graduate is heard in the
land. She is coming forth from Vassal
and Wellesley and Smith and Bryn
Mawr and many other educational resorts
of greater or less note and keeping up
the reputation of the woman Of the pc.
riod Just to show how easy it is, a
young woman passed the Yale classical
examination the other day. OF course
that was the end of it as far as she was
concerned, butit was pleasant pastime.
Another young woman took the de-
gree of Phi. D. at Johns Hopkins. She
has not decided what she will do with
it, but she will probably tack it on tn.
wall along with four or five other de.
Eroop that eho hos tolxeu oh various col
leges. Miss Jean Nelson was not 80 for.
tunate. Jean lives out in Indiana and
was caught in the act Of pilfering exam
nation papers. Young men have been
caught doing this sort Of thing for sew
eral centuries, but women have been
more scrupulous. Miss Nelson proves
however, that there is no field occupied
by men which women may not hope tt
invade, York World
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
A Tourist Hat.

One of the needs of the present season
is a tourist hat that can be used for va
rious purposes, something not too elabo-
rate for railway travelling, but yet smart
enough to wear about the exposition
grounds and for the thousand and one
little occasions incident to the summers
occupation of sightseeing. There are
chips and basket braids that are partic-
ularly desirable for this purpose, also
open work braids that may be made up
over lace frames lined with plain or
figured lace and trimmed with soft silk
or knots of ribbon and wings. AS a
trim, useful, year-in-and-year-out deco
ration for a hat there is nothing equal to
the pretty little wings that are brought
out in such variety. Dampness and dust
seem to have noeffect on them, and they
are always stylish as well as convenient
New York Ledger.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
PIOCHE, NEVADA. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER g. 1898.
Respeotability and Lunch Baskets.

regret very much that a correspond
ent got excited and abusive because !
quoted an interview with lady who
differed with him as to the propriety OF
taking cold luncheon in the Worlds
fair grounds. He argued that no one
with self respect could or would do this.
She said that Mrs. Potter Palmer, Mrs.
Wheeler and scores Of prominent women
did SO every day; chat it was the way to
escape extortion and bad food to boot,
and no one who had to calculate closely,
perhaps pinch and economize for months,
to get to the fair at all, need hesitate to
take luncheon to the grounds. She add
ed that she never went into the Wom
ans building without seeing scores OIL
women eating luncheons there.
This is free country, and the women
are generally accorded the right to say
what they please, and the men, too, for
that matter. I hope that the time the
correspondent thought over this he was
ready to go to the young lady and apollo
gize for his very bad tempered language,
no matter if he still wants to take club
to the man in the case. There are thou
sands of shopgirls and working girls,
professional women, farmers wives and
daughters, and artists, young and old,
in town and country, who have very
scanty incomes, yet who feel they cannot
afford to miss the fair, no matter what
they must deny themselves to get there
1t is great deal better for them tt
eat, cold luncheons than not to go at all
or run themselves in debt that will re
quire greater privations to discharge
These are the people who go to the gal
leries in order to hear Joe Jefferson ant
Patti because they can't afford to buy
dress circle seats, but they appreciate
art too much to deprive themselves O
something they want more than show
/ honor the man or woman who keep
heart pure and life honorable, "wh,
pays his debts, believes and says hi
prayers" even if he has to carry lunch
con basket through life. - Louisvill
Courier journal.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
What She Would Do.

Every one has noticed the growing
height of each successive years bevy of
debutantes, and the younger generations
promise to be quite as tall If not taller
than their predecessors. SIS it possible
you are only 1872" said a small woman to
little, girl who was more than an inch
taller than herself. "How big you are!"
"0h, do you think sof" answered the
child. "Why. my friends consider me
quite short. They are nearly all Of them
taller than am" Good gracious!" ex-
claimed the little woman. in dismay.
"What Brobdingnagians you will all be,
and how will you get partners9 If you
were my child, would put brick on
your headr'-C Chicago Tribune.
The Pioche weekly record. [volume] (Pioche, Nev.) 1877-1900, 1893-11-09
cloaks and Wraps.

See our complete stock, all marked at
Low Cash Prices.
Ladies' Cloth Jackets, winter weights,
latest styles, plated skirt and full sleeves,
tan, gray and black, worth $3.50 else
where, our low cash price $4.00.
Ladies' Kersey Jackets, assorted col
ors aud black, with latest styles Cape
Collar, trimmed in fur or serpentne Mo
hair braid, worth $1,000 elsewhere, oul
low cash price $500.
All wool Beaver Jackets, with new
''Worth" Cape Collar, worth $500 else
where, our low cash price $3.50.
Stylish all wool Fall and Winter weight
Capes, with fur edging, worth $1,000
our low cash price $500.
We are showing very large stock o
Latest Novelties in Capes and Jackets
which cannot be described in this adver
tisement. These garments have JUS
been received and are now on sale. AL
are offered at very low cash prices.