The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1893-02-12

kawlSe's Center asking this paper how ne
can cure soreness of the tongue. Alonzo.
it seems, during the cold weather was act
ing as understudv for the property man at
East Rawlse's Center. and one of the other
stage hands, bright, young whaleback
farmer. got Alonzo to wager that he
(AlonzO) could not erase with his tongue
the name of Pistache Oleson. the rising
young Swedish nightingale and child won
der, which she Miss Oleson) had written
in blue chalk on the gas pipe of her dress
ing room while at the grand opera house
Of East Rawlse's Center.
AlOnzO accepted the wager and now
writes to ask about what he shall do.
AlonZo has large, copiOus tongue, which
almost encircied the gas pipe, and out
lines Of it may still be seen there. For
one night he and the opera house occupied
the same apartments. The next day they
logged along together till about noon,
when the other stage hands told tho
authorities, and steps were taken to ar
range 1t SO that the opera house and
young Belcher could be used separately.
You see, you dare not cut out piece OF
gas pipe that way for fear of asphy xiatiOn,
and they could not cut it off at the meter,
1t seems, as the company had arranged it
so that gas would be consumed" every
evening, whether the house was opened or
not. and they did not see how they could
change it.
A hot shoehorn, however. was applied
to the tongue, and soon the little sufferer
was removed from the real estate and
again became his own personal property.
He went home, he exclaims in the letter,
feeling like man that has red-hOt cutie
bone in his mouth and cannot get il out.
Ever since then he has communicated
with the outside world wholly by means Of
the pen. No one can even think of his
great sorrow without = bitter and some
what braCkish tear.
How puny are our efforts when We find
ourselves in the act Of violating a great
natural lawI We must not get ON the
mighty turntable of creation or try to
cross tho sidetracks of the solar systems
unless we are employees.
Mr.. Belcher will do we'll to bathe the
sore place with witch hazel as often IS the
idea occurs to him, and keep q piece of
oiled silk between the tongue and the roof
of the mouth, 50 that the two shall not
unite and become one grand whole, to the
injury OF the grand hole that he has been
in the habit of swallowing through.
Some put the tongue in the sling-a gin
sling, pcrhaps-under those circumstances.
but the gin does not assist the healing
process, and it induces the tongue to wag
too freely. One OF the greatest wags ever
knew was gin sling wag. But why in-
such time?
Mr.. Becher (which. by the way, is sim
ply pseudonym) writes also regarding
his future, inclosing chart of his palm
and a lock Of hair, asking to know what
the future of one possessing those things
may be.
The thumb is marked strongly and would
indicate that in your early life you whitfield
toward yourself good deal; also that not
many generations back your ancestors
competed with the wOOdpecker in their
glad. free shuttle for food in the forest;
also that during the early part Of the
eighteenth century. possibly later, your
folks walked on the palm Of the hands a
good deal and resembled the Hightehind
or BIuenosed baboon, of Lake Dennis, in
equatorial Africa.
The headline runs backward toward the
wrist instead of forward. thus indicating
that you will gradually, as years roll on.
add more to what you do not know.
The hair does not Indicate anything, and
l would have respected you more If you
had told me you had none.
1t is good, vigorous hair, and seems to
grow quite rank, indicating that you are
of a Emphatic temperament and have a
cool skin, well adapted to the growth Of
hair and whiskers. too, that will toss to
and fro in the summer breeze as YOU grow
to be man and while you are adding all
the time to your lack Of inteili gence, thus
fitting yourself for duty as a juror in the
future.
Your hair would indicate that YOU in
herit from your fathers side. and that you
are not strong physically. You need out
of door exercise. cheerful company and q
shampoo.
In choosing q wife you had better select
lady with q wooden limb. Then you
can keep the limb locked up in the bureau
drawer, and she will no doubt remain at
home more than she OF herwise would.
You should not marry one who could cas-
lily escape.