Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury, Conn.) 1887-1895, 1893-01-07
NOT ON THE MARRY.
Millions Of Young Men Who Pre-.
fer Single Life.
Although There Are Plenty of Wives t.
Be Had the Selfish Creatures Cling
to the Joys of Bach
elOrhoOd.

to the Joys of Bach
elorhoOd.
1t is estimated that there are three
million young men of manageable age
in the United States who obstinately
neglect to provide themselves with
wives, and this implies the existence of
at least an equal number of young
women of marriageable age who are
waiting for proposals that never come.
The fact is important, says the St.
Louis GlObe-DemOcrat, as indicating
one of the social tendencies of the
period. 1t cannot be doubted that the
popularity of matrimony has material
ly declined in recent years and that a
kind of general hesitancy seems to pre-
vail respecting the negotiations of such
alliance. There was a time when the
young people Of the country fastened
to pair themselves with birdlike eager
ness and delight as soon as they were
out of school, and society not only en-
couraged them but practically COM
manded them to take that course.
They were considered superluous and
burdensome until they got married.
The true work of life could not begin
with IlISll, GIlCy "CIS I1GS oO 1OIlS
as they remained single; it was their
duty to become yolled without I'M
necessary delay, and it was disgrace
to miss reasonable opportunities in
that relation. But it is decidedly diff
ferent at the present day. The prac-
tice of wedlocl1 is no longer imperative,
nor does discredit attend the minated
state, even when prolonged into the
thirties. There is as much advice given
against marriage as in favor of it by
the wise and experienced of both sexes,
and the result is a steady decrease in
the proportion of actual weddings to
possible ones.
The causes which have produced this
marked change are not sufficiently
definite for satisfactory analysis. 1t is
probably true that our extravagant
style of living is one of the effective
influences. The cost of supporting a
wife and raising family is much larger
than it used to be, and this feature of
the matter often gives pause on both
sides. We have come to measure so
many things by money that matrimony
has not escaped the rule. The young
people are disinclined to start in a hum
BILE way and gradually improve their
situation; they want all that their
parents have without waiting and striv-
ing for it. Many proposals are unques-
tionably delayed or rejected on this &C
count. Then, it is we'll known that the
new avenues of employment open to
women have made them more indie
pendent and probably also more exact
ing as to the qualifications of husbands.
1t is not nearly so common as it once
was for girls to marry simply in order
to secure a home and living; they are
able now to earn good wages and to
take their time about assuming the
duties of wives and mothers. We may
safely believe, moreover, that the prog
ress of women in education and in social
power has led them to look less favor
ably upon the connubial condition OF
!; subordinating their hearts to their
heads, so to speak. And finally it can
not but be that the abundance of criti-
cism to which the marriage system has
been subjected by writer's of pro-
nounced vigor and skill has served to
weaken it in the popular estimation
and to disparage the quality of sacred
ness that is its highest claim to respect
| and honor.
There is no reason as yet, however
to lament the prevailing tendency as a
national misfortune. The amount OF
| marrying is still large enough for al
| ordinary purposes, and it may be that
less rather than more of it would best
| promote the interests of society. Such
unions should be formed with some
| other object than that of merely prOpa
eating the species. They involve the
most serious obligations and RESPONSE
bilities of human life, and if people are
learning to be slow and careful abou
making contracts of so much Importance
it is hardly sign of decay or threa'
of calamity. Whenever any two per
sons care so much for each other tina
they cannot happily live apart they vii
be welded in spite of all opposing in
huences, and perhaps those are the only
circumstances under which a wedding
ought ever to take place. 1t would not
do to say with Hamlet that 1--WE vii
have no more marriages." and that al
who are now single ''shall keep as they
| are" but we are justified in thinking
that the rate of matrimonial happiness
is likely to be increased according tt
the measure of marriages that are
brought about py reflective instead o
emotional means. The system will
which the critics find so much fault il
not perfect. but it is much better thai
they represent it to be, or it would no
have survived so long. With all thei
flaw-picl1ing, they have not been abb
to devise an acceptable substitute TO
it, and until they are able to do so
will continue to stand as the mos
beneficent of those great agencies whicl
| regulate and control the affairs of civ
| ilizatiOn.