Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1893-10-16

ONE CONQUEST.
Oh, yes, she is homcly,
No doubt of it. sir,
Yet saw mosquito
Once mashed upon her.
-[Ncw York Press.
THE STAFF OF LIrE.
II can't see why bread should remain
at the same price when wheat and -four
have come down So"
MY dear boy, the main things in
bread are water and air Neither one IL
cent cheaper than it was at the close Of
the war. -" indianapolis Journal.
AN UNREASONABLE QUARREL.
Shc-I know I'm unreasonable That
is Il woman's privilege!
He-But isn't it unreasonable for you
to want to be unreasonable?
She (hotly)-No; but it is unreasonable
for you not to want me to he unreason-
able.
He (mildly)-It strikes me that 10 an
unreasonable proposition.
She (triumphantlV-Of course it is,
for ! made it! (rhey kiss and make
ASuuO u uCn'
HE KNEW WHAT HE MEANT.
He-I love you letter than life.
Shelf you love mo so much as that
why will you annoy me by asking me to
marry you?
He-When I say love you better than
life l mean better than life without you.
--(Boston Transcript.
THE POINT or VIEW.
Harry-Mamma, can | go and play
with Tommy Bonser9
His Mother-I think you ought to be
particular about tho company you asso-
ciate with, dear. What kind of boy is
Tommy Bonser?
Harry-He's tho best little boy in
town, mamma
Harry's Father-Thcn he has no bust.
ness to be playing with you, my son.
tChicago Tribune.
COURAGEOUS ALWAYS.
She-You are not afraid to ask papa,
are you?
He-Afraid9 The idea of you doubt
ing my courage when l had the BRAY
cry to ask you.-(lndianapolis Jour
nal.
ANOTHER GREAT DISCOVERY.
First Traveler-Why ia that pomp.
GUS fellow strutting about so absurdlyY
Second Travelcr-IIe found some ham
In his railway sandwich.
UNDENIABIE.
''She was a woman without past"
"Who9"
Eve. "-[Lifc.
ANOTHER STORY.
Askem Where's the rich heiress
you're engaged tor
Tellum-YOu sec that lovely girl in
pink at the other side of the roomY
Askem-Yes. l say. old man, what
superb
Tellum-Wcll, it isn't she. It's that
grand old ruin in yellow sitting next her.
New York Herald.
GAINING PERENNIAL YOUTH.
Gertie-How old is Maud?
Ethel-Shc has been a3 ever since q
FIRE in her house burned up the family
Bible six years ago.-[Ohioago Record.
CONTRADICTORY.
Jack-There is one peculiar thing about
love.
Tom-Xes2
Jack-It makes q fellow feel that he
would like to die for his darling, and at
the same time strengthens his determin-
alton to keep on living for her sake
New York Herald.
GREAT SAVING IN LEATHER.
Little Diok-Papa, didn't you tell
mamma we must economical
Papa-I did, my son.
Little Dick--We.l, l was thinkin' that
mebby if you'd get me pony wouldn't
wear out SO many shoes.
KINDLY WAY
Miss Fuzzlc-I want to break my en-
gagement with Mr.. Sappie, but don't
know how to do it without driving the
poor fellow to suicidea
Little Brother-Why don't you let
him see you in curl papers.
ANOTHER CASE OF MISPLACED SWITCH.
"Aren't you ready yet"
~ couldn't find my hair"
"Well miss the train. Switches al
ways seem to delay traffic"
A FAIR PROPOSITION.
81 wish, sighed farley to his wife,
''that l could get a receipt for happi-
ness"
"Well, perhaps some time If you will
give me little happiness, I'll give you
receipt for it," returned Mrs. g.
tHarper's Bazaar.
THEY'RE WORTH 1T.
The blessed girls, our loyalty
To them shall never falter!
We're willing to stand up for them
Even at the altar
-IDctroit Free Press.
1T MAKES NO DIfFERRNcR.
II suppose you don't believe in court
ship" said the paragraphist laughingly
to the President Of the gas company.
s'Why not Z" asked the President.