Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-09-30

men helpin' me there's been all we could
tend to and unless things let up I'll have
Profitable? Never dreamed of so much
money as I'm maxim now Twouldn't
bother me bit If they kept this fair run
min all next year. But I guess they'll shut
up by the end Of next month and that'll
send me home TO Nebraska again. Win I
stay there? Not much! They tell me there's
gotn' to be a midwinter exposition In San
francisco. and II you want to make a dol
than by bettin' 1t agin somebody elses dol
lar that IN be in the big California town
with plenty o. needles thread and buttons
When that show opens"
A solemn Souvenir.
Ninety-nine out of every hundred people
who have visited or will visit the fair took
or Will take away some sort If a souvenir
by which the greatest of modern expoSi
tons will be held in remembrance. Some Of
these mementoeS are Of the sentimental
variety, others are purely decorative, many
are useful, at least one will be grueSome.
great deal of admiration has been ex-
pended on the magnificent display Of manu-
ractured marble; not the Carrara variety,
shaped by the tools of genius and apparent
ly endowed with life, but the colder blue
that lnsunerable and CHASTITY appearance.
The display of tombstones and Of monu-
ments Is really fine. AMI it is by no means
an uncommon sight to see quite a number
Of PROFESSIONALLY well advanced in years
standing around the exhibits discussing
the merits OF this or that product of the
stonecutters art after very cot1-bloode1
and intensely practical fashion.
The old gentleman was from Iowa-from a
prosperous town near the western border
OF the state-and one of the best of the
monuments struck his fancy with a good
deal OF force. He examined it from about
all the possible points of view. rubbed the
glossy parts Of it's surface with his hand
and then with his handkerchief; breathed
on 1t to see whether its ulster would depart
under the influences of warmth and mois-
ture; polished the place he had thus dulled
with the cuff Of a homespun sleeve, and
then, finding the brilliancy unabated, STEP
PED back with an approving nod. After
some inquiry he found the man who was in
charge OF the exhibit; listened to the cut
and dried stock eulogy on that particular
variety Of marble; made open inquiry as to
the price OF that particular mCnument;
tried his best for a minute or two to beat
the figures down, and. finding that impossl-
bic, purchased the object of his alteration
ana made arrangements for having it ship
PED TO him Immediately after the close OF
the FAIR. Upon being asked who the monu-
ment was for he very frankly replied that
1t would decorate his own grave as soon as
he occupied 1t. He further volunteered the
Information that he had purchased the cas-
ket IN which his remains we're to be placed
while visiting New York sumo two years
ago, and that the buying OF this monument
practically completed his funeral arrange
ments. he was cheerful old gentleman,
VINO seemed to have made up his mind that
ne would, in the not far distant future be
compelled to leave Iowa for some other
country, and probably a better one II the
departed ones are privileged to look down
upon the scenes with which they were per-
sonally familiar this amiable Oh specimen
or phiiosophic humanity will doubtless gaze
with pleasurable pride Upon the worlds
iair souvenir that will at that tiiue prevent
the premature uprising Of his mortal re-
MAINS
One On the Colonel.
Mention OF tomb stones and a future state
and the like reminds me of a somewhat re-
markable advertisement prominently dis
played In large letters on a huge board on
one or Chicago's most beautiful drtyeways.
The real estate agent is perniciously active
IN chicago even now. He leaves nothing
u ts ana notmng undone to attract at
tention and probably bring about a sale
Ills descriptive tendencies are of the exag-
gerative sort and once in a while border
quite closely on the personal For instance.
on .he board to which reference has been
made Is the inscription. Col Bob IngersolI
may find warmer place than this delight
ful spot when he dies" And the colonel
easily may, for the lake winds sweep freez-
BUT the insinuation is always there just the
same.
Fakes on the Midway.
With few notable exceptions the estab-
ilshments on the Midway Plaisance are I'M
adulterated fakes; a gigantic aggregation of
SIDE SHOWS much less meritorious than those
In which the bearded lady, the fat woman,
the tattped girl, the living skeleton the
snake charmer and the man who makes
profitable display of sickening elephantiasis
are commonly conspicuous A very Ia ROE
proportion Of the foreigners found therein
nave been residents Of the United States for
some time; recently imported goods are in
a minute minority.
One OF the attractions put I'D to capture
american quarters was a band of wild
and woody Zulus. Impressionable visitors
from the country and at least few of the
more suspicious city folk paid the admission
fee and gazed with more or less awe on the
so-caiied war dances and listened with crit
ical interest to the discordant songs of the
savage warriors from the realm Of Cete-
wayo. They were declared to be members
Of the most blood thirsty and fearlesslv
courageous section of the Zulu nation: had
participated in the great battles of Rorke's
Drift and Isandula. One of the brayest and
best cavalry officers the United States ever
had in its service. unappreciated though he
may be by the supreme military authorities.
who. Notwithstanding their supremacy can
never possess such a record as Is his wan
dered into the Zulu village when 1t was a
fourishng institution. A muscular brunette
of the male persuasion, with a leopard skin
dangling from around his waist and three
native Chicago feathers sticking upward
from the summit or his woolly head, was
standing just inside the gate. One sinewy
hand grasped the buckskin loop from which
depended and swung a Sioux war club: the
other hand rested on the haft of a real ST.
Louis butcher knife.
How Is the Zulu business nowp'' fnuu,red
the officer, whose knowledge Of the races of
mankind Is sufficient to enable him to rec
ognize Zulu when he sees one.
The savage stood unmoved
Drawing good houses" persisted the
querist.
me Zulu chief" groaned the tar-tinted
specimen. me Oolabungalooloo Me big
Zulu chief. Fight much"
, "'Oh, yes, was the response, I'VE under
stand all about that, but now, honest Iniun.
so to speak, is there any more money in this
Zulu business than there is in shucking
oysters or backing boots or peddling pop.
corn?'
And the wild son of the desert dropped
his club and roared aloud.
There are several thousand such Zulus in
Washington.
A bulgarian From the West,
OF all the men on the Midway none are
more likely to be remembered by the lady
visitors than the handsome Bulgarian who
assisted by female Bulgarian, so,d Bull
garian curos just a little to the southwest
of the Ferris wheel. He is a handsome
man, and, so far as physical appearance
which, to be accurate is not Bulgaria
Years ago he had ranch in the Platte
valley, and in a little while acquired such
reputation as masher as made Nebraska,
large and comparatively unpopulated as It
was then, much too small, TO contain hin,