davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
plTH AND POINT.

NO people ever made any money
swapping grunts.-Dallas News.
"A kind word can be made to strike
harder than cannon ball. - Rams
Horn.
-Cass iannoyed)-"Dont You know
that fool can ask questions?" Bass
II had heard so; now know it."-Bos-
ton Transcript.
They say history repeats itself"
"Humphi History must be working ON
several of the comic papers just now"
buffalo Courier.
-Frank-"Were you actually sur
prised, as you said, when | proposed?''
May-''Yes, indeed; Ireally had all but
given you up,"-vogue.
Guessed His Mission. First Pedes-
trian-"out walking for your health?''
Second Pedestrian-"Yes I'm going
for the doctor. Truth.
-May-"What did you marry that
wreck for?' Maud haughtilyl-"To
save him" May-"H'ml How much was
the salvage?'-The Club.
-He-"Can do anything to break
you of saying sarcastic things?' She
Yes" He--''What?' She-"keep out
of my sight. Y. World.
Every wife occasionally wishes she
could vindicate herself by letting some
woman her husband praises have him
for a few weeks. -Atehison Globe.
So far it's proof of the recupera-
tive value of vacation that as matter
of weight man carries his poekctboolx
back more lightly than on going away.
Philadelphia Times.
A Mean Retort. Dawson & Brad
ley are going TO bring out my five
novels in uniform Style" said Dullby,
the novelist You mean in fatigue
uniform style, SUPPOSE" said Cyni-
cus.-Puck.
They say that fortunes are swept
away in breath nowadays" said Mrs.
Harris. and Mrs. Sozzle sadly replied:
IF You had ever smelled the colonels
breath. mum, you would believe -
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
--"Slithersby is way up in bottle
French" I'm what2" Bottle French
When he was in Paris he wanted to see
the mint, so he asked his guide to take
him to the 'menthe.' Got il off a creme
lie menthe bottle. "-Harper's Bazaar.
ALI the wedding party were assem-
bled at the registrars. The bridegroom
alone was missing. At last he put in
belated appearance. He was hale old
gentleman of seventy. another time, "
said the registrar, come bit earlier. "
-Sonntagsblatt.
Literature-Scene, a store near
Highland Light. A lounging tourist,
looking at copy for sale of Thoreau's
Cape Cod: "Ah! Thoreau! He was a
great writer, he was! He wrote many
of his works in Latin, down there in
Concord, he did. Why, Col. Higgin-
son, who looked over his writings
after he died, said il would take a man
who was well posted to translate
them"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
LIMITATIONS OF OUR SENSES.
These Place Perfect knowledge at an In
finite Remove from Us.


We gain our experience of the world
through our senses. Man is born with
intellect, and through the senses the
intellect is trained. The newborn ba by
possesses already some knowledge of
touch acquired before birth. and this
knowledge he afterward rapidly ex-
pands by constantly feeling his body
over and over, as if in exploration of
unknown ter tory. Later he acquires
the faculties of hearing and seeing,
and likewise of tasting and smelling.
Now, these senses. five IN number, are
they which train the intellect. They
are all very imperfect. Sight: but the
greater part of the solar spectrum is
invisible-that is 10 say, more RAYS
which come to us from the sun are i'm
visible than those which our eve can
see: Hearing: but there are sounds so
low and sounds SO high that they are
inaudible. Taste and smell: very i'm.
perfect. Touch; but there are millions
IF PARTICLES of dust to the square inch
of the hand which we can not feel.
Yet. even with these imperfect means
IF education. many men have reached
the conclusion satisfactory to them
selves that they are clever; but the
visest man knows nothing in COMPARE
son with perfect wisdom.
The whole of the known universe
consists of matter in motion. All SEN
sation. everything we know of the ont
side world, comes TO us through mo-
ton. The motion sets up movement
in the nerve ending. on the skin. on the
retina of the eye, or wherever the prop
er ending capable of receiving the par
tieular motion may be situated. This
motion is carried from the nerve end
ing along the nerve to the special cen.
trail organ of the brain where it is in
terpreted. Light, sound, touch, taste
and smell are the only forms of motion
we are capa BILE of approaching, because
for each of these forms of motion we
have a special apparatus which can re-
ceive. transmit and interpret. There
are other forms OF motion which we
can not reciate-magnetism, for ex-
ample-and this simply because we
have no nervous mechanism which re.
spends to that kind of motion. In like
manner there can exist around us
forces in infinite variety of which we
have absolutely no knowledge what.
ever.-PrOf Graham Lush, in Popular
Science Monthly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
AN ExACTING CRITIC.
She Knew the Kind of a Picture She
Wanted.

appearances are often deceptive, +"
said Theophilus Greathead. as he set
tied himself comfortably in his chair
and lighted fresh cigar. 81 have
lived much as other men have, and
pride myself on being an exceedingly
keen observer. / must admit, however,
that there are times when make most
serious errors in Judging persons and
things. | was in a large art room the
other dav, when a young woman of
most distinguished appearance entered.
She had come TO the place in hand
some equippage, and footman had ac-
companied her as far as the door of
the establishment. Her maid followed
at a respectful distance. There was
such an air of noblesse oblige,
admixed with even hauteur, about the
young woman, that at once felt that
i was in the presence of a person of the
most aristocratic pretensions. Invol-
unfairly / rearranged my necktie, adj
justed my coat. and took a survey of
myself in a convenient mirror. The
majestic creature seemed greatly in
terested in the works of art about her.
which she surveyed through her
lorgnette in the most critical manner
Therewasa frown upon her aristocratic
features. All. said to myself, here
is young woman who has so high an
ideal of the great in art that the splen-
did paintings here seem to her to be
but mere tawdry.' The superb woman
turned and. stamping her foot petulant-
ly. said to the proprietor: Them is all
very fine, but / wants a oblong pic
ture IN Y. Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
DOMESTIC CONCERNS.

Berry Tea Biscuits: Add cup of
blueberries to the ordinary tea biscuit,
made from a quart of flour, three heap
ing teaspoonfuls of baking powder,
large tablespoonful of butter and two
scant cups of rich milk. Make up the
biscuit as soft as possible. and bake
In a quick oven. These are delightful
/ for tea or luncheoa.-Farm, Field and
Fireside.
Jersey Wonders for Afternoon Tea:
One pound of -four. two ounces of but
/ ter, two ounces of sugar. two teaspoon
fuls of baking powder, grated nutmeg
to taste, and one or two eggs. Work
the butter into the -four, add baking
powder, sugar, and nutmeg. Make in
to stiff paste. adding little water If
necessary. Roll very thin, cut into
strips, and plat or tie in fancy knots,
fry in deep fat, shake sugar over, and
serve hot and dry.-N. Y. Times.
Peach Short Cake: Many persons
who are familiar with straw berry
short cake never think of using any
other fruit for the purpose. If they
will try the following, they will pro-
nounce it excellent. One pint of sweet
milk, one teasponnful Of baking pow
ing powder. one teaspoonful salt. one
third cup of butter Mix as soft as can
be worked. Make four layers, spread
ing each one with butter when baked.
Place peaches cut in small pieces be.
tween and serve hot, syeetened to suit
taste. -Western Rural.
Baked Chicken: An appetizing way
& 10 l. IL T.
If for fricassee. Dip the pieces in
beaten egg and then in fine bread
crumbs. Season with salt, pepper and
minced parsley. Pat them in the drip
ping pan with bits of butter over them,
and little water In the pan. Bake
slowly until they are done Put the
chicken upon hot dish, make a rich
gravy of the contents of the pan and
pour over them. Garnish the dish with
parsley. boston Budget.
Royal Brown Pottage: Set gallon
of strong broth ON the fire, with two
shivered pallates and cockscombs sliced
with savory balls, pint of gravy. two
handouts of spinach and young lettuce
minced, boil these together with duck,
the legs, wings and bones being broken
and pulled ont, and the breast slashed
and Drowned in pan of fat then put
TO il two French rolls sliced and dried
hard and Drowned, then put the pot
tage in dish and the duck in the mid
dle. Garnish with scalded parsley,
beets root, turnip and lemon.-tiood
Housekeeping.
Finger Cream: Ladies who are fond
of pleasing and astonishing their
friends with their culinary skill will
appreciate this recipe Cut three
ounces of preserved ginger in thin bits
and put in g bowl with three table
spoonfuls of the sirup; the we'll beaten
yolxs of four eggs and pint of cream,
pour in the upper receptacle of
farina kettle, cook slowly for ten min
utes, remove from the fire and beat
with wire egg beaten until nearly
cold. Soak one ounce of gelatine in
little cold water and pour over it a
half pint of boiling water; add two
teaspoonfuls of powdered sugar and
stir until dissolved; strain into the
mixture in the kettle, beat well and
put in a mold which must be set on
ice. Serve very cold with whipped
cream.-American Agriculturist.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
COLD WATER AND LONG LIFE.
An Eminent Physician Recommends the
Liberal Use of Aqua Pura.


Liberal Use of Aqua Pura.
DIR. II. II. Dalton says that although
to suggest the methodical use of cold
water as beverage in the absence of
thirst as means of augmenting the
chance of longevity may render a man
liable to he dubbed a crank, if not a
lunatic, the idea has a soundly ply
Biological origin, and is well supported
by experience. Solid and dry as the
human body appears water consti-
tutes more than one-fourth of its bulk,
and all the functions of life are really
carried on in a water bath. and al
though the sense of thirst may be
trusted to call for n draught of water
when required, the fluid can be inn
bibed most advantageously for many
reasons besides merely satisfying thirst.
In the latter stage of digestion, when
communion of the mass is incomplete,
it is much facilitated by a moderate
draught of water, which disintegrates
and dissClves the contents of the stom-
ach, fitting it for emulgence and pre-
pairing it for assimilation. Hence the
habit of drinking water in moderate
quantities between meals contributes
TO health, and indicates the fact that
those who visit health resorts for the
purpose of imbibing the waters of min
eral springs might profit by staying at
home and drinking more water and less
whisky. Water is the universal solv-
ent in nature and the chief agent in all
transformations of matter. When taken
into an empty stomach it soon begins
to pass out through the tissues by an
osmotic process into the circulation to
liquefy effete solids whose excretion
from the system is thus facilitated.
Very few people think of the necessity
OF washing the inside as well as the
outside of the body, and he who would
he perfectly healthy should be as care
full about the cleanliness of his stom-
4ch as that of his slim.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
Buttermilk Biscuits.

To the country wife they are not I'M
common, but to the city married woman
they are rare. Neither yeast nor balx-
ing powder is required in their compo-
sition. Take a quart OF. butternilk,
into which sift hour enough to make a
thin batter; cover the mixture over in
a crock and allow il to lise until morn
ing; then take the usual amount of
flour used for the family, with which
salt and soda are sifted, using one
fourth teaspconful of the latter ingre-
dent; use lard of sufficient quantity,
thoroughly mixed with the right pro-
portion of flour; then take the batter.
which serves in the place of water; care
must be used in not getting the dough
too thin to roll: after the bread is ready
for the stove cook in a quick oven.
The biscuits will be found far richer
and sweeter than the ordinary water
and baking powder ones.-St Louis
Republic e.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

A young. tired. honest and kindly
looking couple sat beside me on the
boat the other morning. exposition
bound, and they had much to say 70
each other.
overheard this:
Prank, how much money you got
left2'
''Thirty-eight dollars"
What? Do you mean to tell me.
Frank Whipple that il cost us sixty.
two dollars already?"
That's what I mean"
''Oh. Frank, and we could have
bought that lovely parlor set"
''oh, 'onfound the parlor set, Myra.
Why we've seen enough here to last us
all cur lives in thinkin' and tsllxin'
=. .asher sit on tub o. butter an eat
my meals of the top of the sink than
TO have missed this"
And | spplauded Frank very quietly
for his good sense.-N. Y. Recorder.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
FACES THAT ARE GONE.


How We long TO see the faces
That have crossed the silent tide
faces marked with care ana SorrOw.
Faces fun OF joy and pride
Some with furr0H ed brow and hoarv,
some In youth iamcnted bloom
One hy one from u departed.
For the cold AMI silent tomb
Birds employ their notes of Eiadness
As they futter 10 ana fro.
Tiow'rs display their wealth o. beauty,
As they used 10 long ago
But The birds might sing forever.
And the iiOw'rs forever bloom
They can uc'cr bring back ire faces,
That are hiddta In the tlmo.
Silently death steals upon Us.
Silently time speC Ieth on
Soon we. too shall al b. numbered
WITH the faces that are gone.
Zach and all must shortly follow
Ihro' the shadows aus the gloom,
To the loved ones who are waiting.
IN the light beyond the tomb.
Henry r. C0uant in : aukee Blade
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
Economy in Good Rrushes.

One of the most useful of articles in
the house is a brush made of good
hair. If properly cared for il will last
for years, but buy only the best kind
with the hair wired into the back.
The cheap brushes have the hair glued
in and will not stand water. Even the
stove brush should be of the best,
whether for use outside or inside.
Choose one with a short handle and it
will clean out every bit of dust from
every nook and Granny. Stove ovens
should have the SCOT and dust brus1e
out every day.-American Agriculture
-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
= whole community At HIs Nercy.

Ruggles Injecting him after many
yearsl-How are you, McP cit, still
running a meat market?
MePelt-No. Ruggles. made dead
failure at butehering. guess it wasn't
in me.
Sorry 70 hear it. What are you
doing now2~
oh. I'm doing well enough. am
practicing medic ne. I'm the only doc
tor there IS in the place - Chicago
Tribune.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

From Chicago TO Seattle via the Chicago,
Milwaukee a. St Paul and Great Northern
Railways. has been established and first
class sleeping cars VIII hereafter run daily
from Chicago at ii 80 p, M, arriving at
Seattle 1890 p NJ, fourth day This IS I'M
doubtedly the best route 10 reach the North
Pacific Coast.
For time tables. maps and other infor-
nation apply TO the nearest ticket agent,
or address GEO II. HEAFFoRD, General
Pass. Agent, c., NJ & St P. R'y, Chicago,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
-The postmaster-peneral has iss,

The postmaster-general has issued
an order TO the effect that disease
germs, or other things of like charac-
ter, no matter how securely put up. are
of the character of poisons and ex-
tremelv dangerous to health. and that
they are absolutely unavailable Post
masters are instructed to see that no
such things are allowed entry into the
mails
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

porter and equipped with bedding, cooking
ranges, lavatories. toilet rooms etc, form
part of the GREAT NORTHERN RAIL
WAY through train between the Twin
Cities and Seattle. For the present tourist
cars leave st. Paul Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Sundays at ~ y m, Minneapolis s:l5
p. M. s. 80 for dOuhe berth &c Spokane; So
TO Seattle.
Daily service will begin shortly. in con-
nection with the present splendid servire
for all classes Of travel.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
Onfnous.

Daughter-Oh, father! a bird Just
few into the parlor window. and that's
a sure sign of death in the house.
win you drive him out?
Father-Well, if this is Young Adj
dlepate's regular night for calling. let
the bird stay. 1t may mean luck!-
Truth.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

Billy Brilshem-I want er bottle o
alcohol
Careful Druggists it for mechanic
al purposes?
Billy Brushem-Naw. Artistic. Want
to mix it wild shoe blackin'. - Good
News
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
an unroa.onabIe ouarreI.

she-I know I'm unreasonable! THAI
is a woman's privilege
He-But isn'tit unreasonable for you
20 want to be unreasonable?
She fhotlyl-No; but it is unreason
able for you not to want me to be un
reasona BILE.
He (mildly)-It strikes me that is al
unreasonable proposition.
She (triumphantlyl-of course it is
for ! made At. They kiss and max.
friends. Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
Room at the Ton.

Jinks-There's always room at the
top.
Winks-What have you struck now?
Jinks-Here's an account of a man
who began as newspaper reporter at
fifteen dollars week, and now he
makes one hundred dollars a day as a
race-horse starter.-N. Y. Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

When strength and health have run down,
by timely resort TO the helpful, bracing
tonic, HOstetter's Stomach Bitlers, particu-
larry adapted TO the wants of nervous, dys-
peptic, bilious invalids. If worn out by
mental strain, the care of business or over
work, seek its prompt and benign aid. IL
annihllates malarial complaint, and Is an
efficient remedy for ineipient rheumatism
and neuralgia.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

~ tell you that idleness doesn't
pay. The surest way for person to
get ahead is to keep moving" Guess
you're right. That's the way four or
i've tenants got aheadof me last week"
Boston Courier.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
pecuIiaritIes OF phraslng.

New York-Who stole my hat?
Philadelphia-Wh stole me hat?
Boston-Who has appropriated my
hate
Chicago-Who swiped my hat
BROOKLYN Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

Needs assistance il may be best to render
1t promptly, but one should remember to use
even the most perfect remedies only when
needed. The best and most simple aud gen
tie remedy is the Syrup of Figs, manufac-
tured by the California Fig Syrup Co.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

If all would think twice before they act
once. how still the world would become
Rams Horn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
wI,an Nature

JUsT when the coffee thinks il has good
grounds for complaint the egg drops in and
settles the whole business.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

A Bombay newspaper calls atten
ton TO the virtues of the castOr-oD
plant as means of protection afsinsi
mosquitoes.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

CLOSE RELATIONS -The anecdote met the
short story. AMI said: ..Ah, how are you
We're related. aren't wefi so I've been
told,n replied the short story And then
they both rushed into print together
Truth
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

Rev. II. P. CARSON, Scotland. Oak, SAYS:
1.-TWO bottles of Halls Catarrh Cure CON-
pletely cured my little girl" Sold by Drug
gists. 75c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

Miss summit was very much sur
prised, Mr.. Jagway. TO see you coming
out OF a saloon Thursday afternoon.
Jagway-Yes; had to catch trSin.
Boston Globe
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

A WISE editor wants to know why peo-
pie say man "feels his oats" when he only
feels his rye Siftngs.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

WHEN we feel discouraged we look at a
cooped up chicken in front of a grocery
store and revive. Globe.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
New Tbrourb sIeepinc car Line

HARD.-"Miss Bigstoree is very fond Of
fancy work. is she not4i Yes; she even
carries Il into her conversation. Truth.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

''SUPPosE you wanted TO propose marriage
to girl, farley, what would you ask her
firstl' III we were alone
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

Indigestion, Sick or Bilious Headaches,
Nervousness, and every arrangement OF the
liver, stomach, and bowels.
Cedar Rapids, IOtud.
DR. r. v. PIERCE: Dear Sir Ny whols
system seems 10 have undergone a change
since taking " Pleasant Pellets" My nerves arc
wonderfully improved and no longer have at
tacks of " the blues" IL Is wonderful. the good
tho "Peletsn hive done my liver Complaint.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

To appear helpless is woman's way
Of fiattering man. II is because she
allows man to look down upon her
that man looks up TO her.--Bostor
Transcript
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

II you want to be cured of cough use
Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

STIR up the liver. remove disease. promote
good cheer and good health, by the use Of
Bsecham's Pills.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

THE generous husband talks through his
wife beautiful hat Galveston News
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

VINO was the first wheelmant Father
Time. from the beginning he has gone by
on cycles.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12
BELONGS TO 4 PAsr AGE

IF SIT goes withrIt saying why DO peo-
pie persist in saying i'll
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

WHAT some people consider prudence is
what their neighbors call meanness.-Ram' s
Horn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-10-12

GS TO A PAST AGE
the great. gripping,
nsuseating pill
In this enlightened
age you have Dr.
Pierce'S Pleasant Pei
.lets - Letter because
s they're the smallest,
easiest to take and
easiest in their action;
l better because they do
! lasting good
They have a tonic
effect on the lining
membranes, end per-
manently cure Consti-
patton, BilioUsness,