The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-05-21

operation on me at the tender age Of
eight years. / got wind OF the mysterious
physicians object, and away l went.
The entire household, accompanied by
half the friends of the family, instituted
brisk search for several hours before
j was brought 10 light from the most
secluded nook, in the corner behind the
ashbank. Finally / was hauled out. and
the suspense and terror of the operation
caused my auburn locks to resemble an
angry porcupines back IT was soon all
over. however. and then the satisfaction
Of knowing that / would be exempt
from the dreaded maaldy was
something 10 inspire a happiness only
10 be eXcelled by the occasion OF my first
pair Of boots.
But the authorities in Richmond are no
respecters Of persons. They have no
pets or favortes. and you can't pay your
way out Of the dilemma, for the wishes
OF the few must be sacrificed for the
good Of the masses. No syndicates and
monopolies in this traffic Everybody will
have 10 share in the enterprise. The rich
and the poor, young and old, male and
female, white. black. chocolate and amber
all must submit TO the great, universal,
sweeping necessity-in order TO contribute
60 the public good.
But you, swell society girl. let me
warn you. Don't allow your pretty
plump arm 10 be disfgured by the vac
cinator's knife. This is one instance
whore the young members Of the medical
profession have ample opportunity TO
make their marks, and she who disfe-
CARDS my advice had just as well fold
up her dainty evening gowns with short
sleeves She will hardly fancy the idea
of attending a recherche social event
when arrayed in decollete costume, there
b. exhibiting an immense ugly blemish
on an arm that might put Venus TO blush
TO walk around at a swell reception as
a perambulating advertisement Tor a
struggling young doctor is not at all
odifying; and, no joking, it has been IN
fimated that some Of the Vaccinators
have a new kind Of instrument with
seal something like this: 90 Il. Blank,
NJ. D.-OGice hours: 9 to 10 A. NJ. and
sto5 Z. NJ" Imagine it. You'd better
keep your eyes open, and when the doc
tor comes around insist upon being vac
cinated near the knee, or some other
portion Of the anatomy than the arm
"A word TO the wise is sufficient.
II Is downright interesting to see how
RAPIDLY the local political asprants are
adding TO their list Of friends:
Five delegates TO the House and
two State Senators are TO be
elected by Richmond and vicinity,
and some Of those who are willing 10
serve their country in this capacity
prC losing no time in getting IN some
effective ticks Cor number one Oh course,
everybody is expected 70 array hmseh
on one side or the other. Meantime the
drink-mixer around the corner Is redplns
"a harvest. for every ten 'set-ups' means
an extra chance for him who dishes out
cordial invitations TO come and "De So
ciable with the boys" But what dis
Pppointment to some OF the enthusiastic
electioneers If the Sunday law should be
rfgidly enforced, thereby Squeezing many
a fair prospect Of influencing a FRIEND
while slipping a palatable mint Julep
through a straw during a social Sunday
,nornino soiourn I'm q downtown sample
roomi Go II, We minor aspirants' ana
LET no one sally forth in opposition 10
those glorious aspirations so dear 10
thine beartl For there is not Would-De
candidate to be found from the western
limits Of Reservoir Park TO the utter
most parts Of Fulton, nor from the sunny
slopes of Barton Heights TO the most Sc
ouestered retreats Of Swansporo' WIN
docs NOT love his country with an ardency
III, exceeded bv his love for the poliu-
cal bonors appertaining thereto Re not
discouraeed thou who wouldst cast a
Io,,fpo lingering look upon the vacant
seat in the Legislature. for even shouldst
Zion fail TO gather the honor, thou wilt
have the satisfaction of knowing that IL
&c better TO have loved and lost than never
TO have loved at all
PINT speaking Of getting ones self
elected the first requisite is TO drink
buttermilk or beer and grow fat People
hesitate 10 support lean men: they don't
TOOK important enough. very fat man
wears an air of dignity that takes the
Dublic eve Somehow, there is a certain
zeal appearance about all his languid
movements which carries its weight in
an election.
Now. there's Captain Taylor Stratton,
FOR example There's not a shadow OF
doubt in my mind that his brisk cleo
pioneering efforts will be crowned with
success. He has been there before, and
no understands all the quirks and turns
of a legislative body. Physically speak
ing the Captain fills the bill, and then,
he's mighty apt 10 go In with nourlsh
on general principles All you We got 10
do Is to fatten up like Taylor Stratton'
freshen up your smiles with certain
delightful geniality, "set 'em up literally
a dozen of times a day, and there's no
use talking, your eloquent voice viii re-
sound through the historic cloisters OF
the State-House.
Among the dry goods clerks In the city
there is a movement on foot to get the
various proprietors to close their estab-
ushments at 6 o'clock in the evening dur
ing the summer season. Many of the most
prominent dry goods men are heartily
IN favor OF the plan, and have agreed
10 adopt H. while some few refuse 10
grant their clerks petition. ] was
clerk In a dry goods store myself once
upon time, and know just what they
have TO do My salary was S2.75 per week,
and I was expected 10 set 'em up TO
cigars A lady would waltz into the es-
Establishment every hour, and examine each
article Of dress goods for some ten min
utes. After inspecting the entire stock.
she frequently bought a yard and a
quarter OF blue ribbon at eight cents a
yard. My commission on such purchases
was not calculated TO make me million
aire TO say the least Many clerk in
Richmond Is detained an hour or more
after 6 o'clock simply to effect such bar
gains. and frequently his evening engage
ment has 10 be broken because the pro-
prietor is unwilling TO close at O'Clock.
A dry goods clerk has hard time, any
way you put il. He leads hum-drum,
prosaic sort OF life, and after long sum-
mer days work he ought by all means
20 have a few hours before bedtime in
which to get little fresh air In one Of
the parks. There's nothing made by keep
ingthe store open later than o'clock II
all the merchants should sign an agree
ment 10 close at this hour / venture that
not customer in the city will complain
OF the fact. The clerks win be more ca
pable of doing good work the next day,
and the proprietor will soon ascertain