The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1893-09-30

IN fond of company, you're runnin'
risk. Wait till tell you how the mejun'-
sized cooker saved my life. Well. the
old witch doctor took a big dislike to
would make better meal cooked than
I would cool<in'. USogina wanted to
marry me, and the chief was wiilin',
but the witch doctor prophesicd q lot of
calamities If the marriage took place.
and scared the chief Now 1 didn't
want to marry Ugogina, but could see
that if did would be saved from
bein' ct; but thought would try to
save myself and get out of the marriage
also l could have run off to sea
any day, but there warn't no
boats. I could see ships sailin' by quite
off to 'em. ] decided to FIX the witch
doctor first. got Ugogina to wheedle
the old feller TO give me my meju1:a-
sized cooker, the srnall-sized not besu'
large enough for my purposes. Then 1
got q lot of African beans and some
hollow reeds and some sticky clay. I
set the beans n coolSin' and put the
reeds into little hole made in top of
the cooker. invited the witch doctor
in, and told him this was some of my
new vaporized atmospheric mir. and
told him to put his mouth to the reeds
and suck some in. You know, if you
have studied chemistry. that beans are
this true of the genuine African bean.
Well, sir, that old chap svvallered a lot
of that gas, and quicker than n wink
Ugogina and knocked him over and
plastered his nose and mouth up with
clay, and I'm dummcd liar If that gas
didn't float that old Teller right up in
the air, clear out Of sight You see, he
was remarkably capacious. and the gas
was rcmarl1a bly, strong-rcmarkably
strong. l stood there in front of the
people when he was floatin' in the air,
and told 'em I was Il magician, and
could set 'cm all floatin'. They was
scared; wanted to elect me chief; but
wasn't used to high political honors,
and compromised with alderman and
president of tho school board. Well,
sir. UgoSina WAS dyin' to marry me at
once; but STAYED her Oft for a time by
sayin' l wanted to git my trousseau
ready. That's how the mejum-sized
cooker saved my life"
II will buy a mcdlum-sized one," said
the rector, family. 1T can be used by
St. Mnrgaret's ward of the guild church
fairs.''
''Or country fairs. either. However,
l think you would like the laree-sized
cooker for the church fairs. But You
wait till 1 finish my story. Now. I was
engaged to 4 girl in the United States.
I'll married Ugoginn what would be
the consequences? Breach of promise
suit for ten thousand dollars, and me
with no assets but three sample cookers
of block tin. What then? Default of
payment, states prison for life. sides.
1 didn't want to marry Ugogina. What
did do? Well, sir, one day l sec a
ship goin by. ADD, stretchin' out the
large-sized cOoker-they are all air
tight jumped on it and padded of
to the ship, poundin' on the small and
mejum-sized all the way to scare sharks.
That's how the large-sized cooker saved
my Hfe.''
Put me down for the large size"
said the rector of st. I:artholomews,
wcarily.
II l<nowcd you would" said the mild
hammered man with the soft, low voice.
''Theres something affectin' in the
story of how them cookers saved my
life. "-Wardon Allan Curtis, in Har-
per's Weekly.