Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1893-08-16
TIE FUSSl HOoTt SIS.


II the present days our nerves are
good deal shaken, and we chiefly seek
either complete rest or intense excite
ment. The fussy hostess bores us.
Sic neither soothes us nor amuses us.
She entirely lacks repose. When you
enter her drawing-room she welcomes
you with SO much effusion that 1t be-
comes nauseating. She is generally
transparent humbug. She talks
chiefly in italics. She is $50 glad TO
see you; and when you rise to take
your departure she begs you to remain.
"Oh, don't 60. Must you reahyF It's
quite early" So one has to frame ex-
cuses to get away-and excuses, espec-
tally lame ones are so fatiguing.
When her visitors have drifted into
pleasant conversation, she interrupts it
by fresh introductions. She swoors
down upon you when you least expect
her, carries you of, and presents you.
labelled, to someone You do not want
to know, and who has no burning de-
sire to know you. "Let mo Introduce
Mr.. Jones, he's so fond of -" gen.
orally an art about which the Coutle-
man has no ideas, beyond realizing
what he likes.
At the house OF fussy hostess l
once met three friends of mine who
were unknown to one anothor-an
actor, n novelist, and young journal
ist. "Now 1 know you will like each
other so much" she said as she intro
duced them. "Really, how fortunate
L am this afternoon, for you SEQ have
a 1OCk-kHOlCn actor, n great novelist,
and RISING journalist; L feel have
salon" Strange to say, the three mon
had never heard of each other, and
they all told me, in moments of con
fidence afterwards. that they loneed to
creep under the sofa. The pause In
tho conversation of the rest of the
party after the hostess speech was GER
talnly not made less appalling, by the
silence of the three distinguished peo-
pie who had been labelled into lifeloss-
ness by her stupidity. If she intro
duces you TO young %irl she tells you
in n stage whisper TINT she is "sOeetiy
pretty" il it is an older she will pcssi-
bly, say, 81 do SO want you to know
Ter, she's Uery clever and most use
full" In tie first case yoI will proba-
bly, find yourself trying to see beauty
In an ordinary and self-conscious
schoolgirl, and the elder lady will talk
you down and patroniZe you.
The fussy hostess rarely sits down.
That, one would not mind If she would
only allow her visitors to remain ut
anchor for five consecutive minutes.
Ii she wears train she either kicks it
constantly or allows 1t to take its
chance; when it takes its own sweet
way it is generally wrapped round the
leg OF chair or of man. The
chair, as n rulo, will fail, but the man
has to smile. When she appears IN a
short gown she reminds mo of one of
those horrible dolls that walk by
machinery, suddenly taking three or
four unexpected steps when you think
they have "run down"
Her rooms arc usually in artistic "up
to date" Everything looks fresh from
the shop. The furniture and decora-
tions are as icrky as herself. The tussy
hostess does not give very good dinners.
She is one of those to whom William
Morris cries ont in vain, "If you can
not afford n real work of art, do not put
up with an Imitation one. Learn to do
without"
Her dinners are Us lar from that real
art ms her decorations. She has invari-
"p4J 'SA"LhI1Cu bAiOuBu every plCtuIc
gallery, and seen all the new plays.
Her opinions upon what she sees are an
Ola pOdr5da of other folks ideas
which she carefully culIs from conver-
versations and plundcrs from papers
She Is well read; she gets the authors q
little mixed and the plots of stories
hopelcssly entanglei with tho details
of books of biography and travel, but
that Is due to her ''dreddtM men,
ory."
Tho fussy hostess is often IDOL zed by
very young men. 1t ia their privilege
not to see through her. She has SO
many pretty little ways of gratifying
their vanity. She grcets them some
times with both hands, and very young
mon like that; she calls them naughty,
boys" and they love that. 1t
makes them feel they are men, when
woman of the world talks to them as if
they had n nice long sullied past of
copdgests.
. She Is always managing woman.
She Is ambitious in feeble way. She
is never in society. Hsr husband is
usually very dull-probably the result
OF long years OF enforced silence, for
he is always talked at, or talked for. 1
always shake hands with him with a
mut:ered cOndolence. If the fu.sv
hostess is firt in addition to her other
accomplishments, leave carGs whenever
oucan politely void visiting.