Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1893-09-29
tii\IIiIt NNII.

w LIT -. ,.4rtu = t..;s. NuU itpc =
-. y,.r.r uil"r li':' e.ldihr grocery na.i
l. liz had h'.y ~ lie came III and hr,an
t. l"rl Il rItaba=a, and ms uiisr iip
hum, down over his teeth and WAS COW
cred with something that looked like
shu,llakcr> wax. You hook H. though
you had been digging Potatoes with Your
nuSr."
oh. that : -oln, # Pas darn smart
re~S. a-r,! hlln If Il" knew anything
that w"l;.I uIah.. a boy mus;achc grow.
am T., tu... IA" the best thing heeycrtricd
WI tar. an! for Inc 80 rub il on thick
wii.u wont L. l,.,I and wash II off III
tH,.l.. rl3,, | lu; 81 on last night. and
jv .-..~. can't wash Il III. Pa told me
all | had t. DO WAS To- use scourin,c
brick. and il would come off, and Used
thc securing brick, and it took the skin
Of. and the tar Is there yet. And, say,
dos my llp look very ha,l:'
Tho grocery man told him it was the
worst looking lip he ever saw, but he
could cure it by rubbing little cayenne
lcpper III the tar. He said the tar would
neutralize the pepper, and the pepper
would loosen the tar and act as cool
ing lotion to the lacerated lip. The boy
went to a can of pepper behi:.d the
Co'.,..r and stuck his finger i'll and
rubbed n lot Of it on his lip, and then
his hair le-an TO rise, and he began to
cry AMI rushed to the water pail and ran
his face into the water to wash off the
pepper. The grocery man laughed, and
when the boy had got the pepper washed
off and had resumed his rutabaga he
said:
That seals your fate. No man ever
trifes with the feelings of the bold buc-
cancer Of the Spanish main without liv-
ing to rue it. will lay for you, old
man, and don't you forgetit. Pa thought
he was smart when he got me to put tar
on my lip to bring my mustache out,
snd today he lays on bed Of pain, and
tomorrow your turn will come You
will regret that you did not get down on
Your knees and beg my pardon. You
will be sorry that you did not prescribe
cold cream for my bruised lip instead
of kyan pepper. Beware, you base 10
ounces to the pound huckster, you gim-
let eyed seller of dog sausage, you sanded
sugar idiot, yoa small potato three card
monte sleight of hand rotten egg fiend,
you villain that sells smoked sturgeon
and dogfsh for smoked halibut! The
avenger is on your track"
Look here, young man, don't you
threaten me, or will take you by the
ear and walk you through green fields
and beside still waters to the front door
and kick your pistol pocket clear around
so you can wear it for a watch pocket in
your vest. No boy can brighten me, by
crimus. But, tell me, how did you get
even with your Par"
We'll, give me a glass Of cider and
we will be friends, and l will tell you.
Thanks! Gosh, but that cider is made
out of moldy dried apples and sewer
water" and he took a handful of layer
raisins off the top Of box to take the
taste out of his mouth, and while the
grocer charged peck Of rutabagas, a
gallon of cider and two pounds of raj.
sins to the boys Pa the boy proceeded;
You see, Pa likes joke the best OF
anybody you ever saw if it is on some.
body else, but he kicks like steer when
it is on him. asked him this morning
If it wouldn't be good joke to put some
soft soap on the front step so the letter
carrier would slip and spill himself, and
Pa said it would be elegant. The lette,
carrier is as old man as Pa. and didn't
want to humiliate him, but just want
ed Pa to give his consent 50 he couldn't
kick if he got caught in his own trap.
You see? Well, this morning the minis
ter and two Of the deacons called on Pa
to have talk with him about his actions
in church on two or three occasions,
when he. pulled out the pack Of cards
with his handkerchief and played the
music box, and they had q pretty hot
time in the back parlor, and finally they
settled it and were going to sing hymn
when Pa handed them a little hymn
book. and the minister opened it and
turned pale and said, What's thisY and
they looked at it, and it was book Of
Hoyle's games instead of hymnbook.