The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1893-05-04
nUMOR OF THE DAY.
Humbug--Bumble bees.
Buy words-How much2
A shining light-Jupiter.


A shining hght-Jupiter.
A spokesman-The wheelwright.
A pronounced failure-Stuttering
Room for improvement--The gym
nasium. Truth.
81 am willing enough to work, " said
Young Steer, "but can't find anybody
TO work. ."-Elnlira Gazette.
Cholly--s'What kind of a balance has
me wawtsch?" Jeweler-s'Probably an
unpaid one. Jewellers Weekly.
George-"I thought yoa we're study.
ing oil wells in the West" Fred-"Oh,
I gave it up; it was such bore, you
know. w."-Exchange.
Crticus docking at a picture of the
mpressionist)--"If If that's high art, then
Pm an idiot.t Cynicus-"Well, that is
high art. ."-Tid.bits.
Extreme loquacioushess seldom goes
with an air OF prosperity. The more
man talks through his hat the shabbier
IL gets. Washington Star.
Crinoline or cholera,
To sweep the western continent
In eighteen ninety three?
Detroit Free Press.
.She--"Really, now, aren't you a
married man?" He-ssNo. Wby2" She
-"Oh, you have such settled look"
He--"Yes; dive been refused by thirteen
girls"
Doctor-"I really believe you have
some kind of poison IN your system"
Patient (G.oomily)--"I shouldn't won.
Ger. WHAT was tnat last stuff you gave
me?"-Judy.
A-"Hel,o, old chapi Congratula.
tions! l hear you have married lady
with an independent fortuneP B-"No;
l married fortune with an independent
lady."-Vogue.
Daggs -" "What are you reading
there2" Scsggs-" TIE story of She
Who Must Be Obeyed.'" Daggs-"oh,
yes; the romance of hired girl. -
Somerville Journal.
''Spoodle has married girl
who knows half a dozen languages"
Nagger-''Poor fellow, pity himl Ny
wife only knows one language, and find
that one too many"
A stump orator wanted tue wings OF
bird, to fly 70 every village and hamlet
in the broad land; bat he collapsed
when a man in the crowd sang out:
you'd get shot for goose Def ore yoa
Ho-r n milo o-Tit- RitS
Miss Poetique --"How dreanily de,
lichtful is the soothing sound OF Old
oceans waves rolling up in the moon
light upon the silver sands" Miss Prac-
tcal-"Yes, always did like to hear
the water sloshing around on the beach"
-Somerville Journal.
Biggs-''You say your wife always
pins flower on your coat tefore you
leave homer" "Yes; she has for
month" Biegs--"Well, it shows she
thinks of you" ''No; it's because she
never can remember to sew on the but
ton. Chicago Inter Ocean.
A man can grow sad, melancholy, dys-
peptic, bilious, hollow eyed, pale, de.
iected, tired os life, cynical, cold
blooded, repellant and too dangerous to
be at large, and still he will laugh to
see fat man chasing street car that is
going three teet 10 his one.--Detroit
Free Press.
"Want to buy some of those apples2"
inquired the grocer's clerk. ITO buy
somel" said the hopeless looking man
near the barrel, with dry sob. mo, !
don't want to buy any; but if it doesn't
cost too much I'd like TO stand here a
few minutes aud indulge sparingly in
smelling them Chicago Tribune.
"Halloa, Major, said the Judge ono
morning; 81 haven't seen you for a
week; where have you been3" "Beer
home i'll as anything" replied the
Major. "Yol! Why you were always
as healthy as could be. What iu tho
world made you ill2' swell, tried to
follow some rules on health ! saw in the
paper. ."--Drake's MAGAZINE.