The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1893-11-28

TO you ?" :" Yea" replied the general,
stalk quick 1 must be going.o
Well said Roaris, "Iejust want to
say to you that / have been swapping
horses forty years, but this is the first
time / ever traded without i had any
say In It,"
so it was with the people. They had
TO swap their money for gold, and they
had no say at all because OF the legisla-
tion which was forced upon them.
In referring to Mr.. Harter's speech,
Mr.. Talbert said that 1t reminded him
OF the man who was inquiring of q lit
tie boy standing on the road the way
to q certain house. The little follow
replied: swell, you go this way half
q mile to another road (; then take that
road and go about q quarter OF q mile
and you will find a blind path which
Will lead you to q swamp then go up
into the middle Of the swamp until you
find a tremendous big tree ; then go up
into the fork of hat tree, and then IL
you amt lost / am dot rotted IL l amt
a Dutchman."
THAT" continued MI. Talbert, sis
about like the talk OF my friend from
Ohio. i tried to follow him, but he
first took me into q swamp, then into
the fork of a tree, and finally L was
completely lost"
Mr.. Tafbert In his speech said that
be had never written a speech, as he
did not like to be bothered with notes.
He undertook to make one with notes
once and got them all stirred up to-
gether and made q complete failure.
Itreminded him ofwhat happened to the
old preacher down South, who told the
boys what portion of the Scripture he
intended to read for the morning les
son. The boys, finding the place, glued
two pages together. The next morn
ing the old preacher began to read at
the bottom Of one page:
And Noah, when he was q hundred
years old, took to himself q wife, who
was
Then, turning over the leaf.
A hundred and thirty cubits long and
forty cubits wide, and made entirely Of
gopher wood, and pitched within and
without.
This puzzed the good old preacher.
He took off his spectacles, rubbed
them, and verified the verse.
WELL" he said, after drawing a
long breath, "brethren, l had not seen
it in this here book before, but I know
it is true Of it would not have been
here. 1t is an evidence Of the asser-
ton in another portion Of the Holy
Bible, that mar is %fearfully and
wonderfully made"
1t was an old story, but one that
threw the House into commissions.
This brought down the House.
While the Hon. Charles l.. Moses, OF
Georgia, was speaking for free silver he
was much annoyed by questions from
Gen. Grosvenor, u leading Republican
from Ohio. Mr.. Grosvenor was very
pressing with one of his questions.
Finally Moses turned to him and said
"My friend, / had almost forgotten
you until you rose in your place yester.
era. You Republicans remind me OF
the old Negroes terrapin down in Geor.
gia. He cut the head off the terrapin
and the next morning found him crawl
ing around the yard, and exclaimed
THAT fool terrapin don't know he is
done dead yet"
The laughter and applause was ter.
rife, anG Gen. GrOsvenor made nc
further attempt to interrupt Moses.
Ono of the best stories told in the de-
bate on the silver bill came from that
Pence, of Colorado. He said that the
people in his country could not discern
the difference between the dollar Of
the Treasury to-day and the dollar Of
the Treasury under John Sherman
To illustrate this fact he said that back
in Marion County, Ind, there is a lit
tie town on the johnson County line Of
about 800 people. A stranger came
into the town n Sunday, and walking
out from the hotel saw q little white
church and u crowd going in. He
noticed that it was q Lutheran church
He ven on and in the next block saw
Il little brown church, and was supris
ed to see hat it was also a Lutheran
church. He went back to the hote.
and told the proprietor that it struck
him as strange That in q little towr
like this, hardly able to sustain one
church, there could be two churches
just alike.
"What do you mean ?" asked the
landlord. The stranger told him what
he had seen.
"Oh," replied the landlord, "yor
are mistaken. Those two churches
are somewhat alike, but not just alike
Over in the white church they believe
that the serpent tempted Eve, anG
but over in the brown church they
think that Adam vas a bad egg from
the START.
The majority Of the good stories told
in the House come from the South and
West. The are usually original, and
given in dialect. But in the crowd OIL
new members who have entered the
Fifty-third Congress there are none
who begin to approach John Allen
His drawling intonation in detailing
life in Mississippi touches every Con,
gressional midriff. and throws the
HOuS into conclusive merriment,