The times., 1893-12-15

very verge of preclpice, yet way down
there are houses and way. way above some
shepard Is bringing his goats down for the
winter There are tunnels and tunnels.
Looking away at an approaching mountain
l saw way above what seemed tiny door.
Mrs M. explained that we were doubling
on our course and should go through that
mountain again But must desist. There
are some things for which adjectives are
inadequate and descriptions should be re-
s srved for word artists Switzerland Is one
OF them 1t does not seem so impi0us to
attempt to describe the works OF man. but
such masterpiece of the Almighty as
Switzerland should be treated as holy
ground.
We stopped once where we saw people
eating. Now we had bread, but we
''thIrsted" for pickles Mrs NJ and went
In but saw none Still we kneD they were
there. but as they could not understand one
word We said, 1t WAS rather difficult to inn
press our convictions on the stOlld German
woman In attrndance. Ah! l see him-On
that Frenchman's plate over in the corner;
he is military, "uast" we do 1t? dare to
dare er tO do IL. so seiZing walters arm
she marched him over there and pointed to
the pickle. The Frenchman taking Us for
German spies. no doubt. grabbed his plate,
drew his-fork, and prepared tn try titles
for his dinner. whereat We retreated. We
were not after fuss any of the time. We
didn't propose to make an International
affair of 1t, we we're not thirsting for gore,
but simply pickles, and having gained them
we retreated In digni6ed way to our party
and ate dinner.
Now here Is one on me. In Paris we
read In our guide book that ''there is literal
ly nothing to be found to eat from this hour
Zone O'clcck) until six" We had been to
an early breakfast and likewise to Notre
Dame cathedral and were famished We
came TO what we would call grocery and
proposed a raid. Backed by numerous
and hungry following headed it. had
book in which in three parallel columns
stood. first an English phras'. opposite it
it, French equivalent and at the end the
way to pronounce it spelled phonetcally in
English. You can imagine what horrible
stuff the last was Well, l wasn't going to
at empt any pronunciation before that
crowd. so fixing my eye on II q sentence
"What have you for luncheon?" | pointed.
not to the FreI ch, but to the pronunciation.
He looked troubled, and looked at me. l
relentlessly directed his attention again to
the phrase. He evidently doubted my
sanity. while | held strong opinions con-
cernng his intelligence He was small l
wasn't-n0t very, and had taught school
too long to let HIM off like that. Mrs NJ,
tender hearted as usual, came to the rescue
The Frenchman never smiled. never
smiled again." Meantime the more voluble
of our party had been dlckering for crackers
and cheese which they c0ntentedly munchep
while meditated on methods of teaching
Frenchmen French phonetically. They
don't speak OF it Otten-nOt more than a few
times day. DIR. II rOarpd at an official
''parey Franchise mol" which somewhat
relieved all our feelings.
In Switzerland DIR II. bought New
York Herald printed in Paris the day he
fore, giving the result of the elections. We
were gliding into tunnels every three min
utes. We clamOred for news. He stood up
in front and began, Republican victories
sweep tunnel, and suspense) everything
before them. complete reaction of sent-
ment Massachusetts goes (:unnel-much
tubnel--this Is awful; finally thought
strikes me, so brilliant he can almost read
by it. Lets applaud going through tun-
nels. Hur-r-) republican by - majority
New Jersey gives her opinion tunnel,
dubious applause) on the race track ques-
ton. Ohio elects Mckinley by so, 900
majority Ia regular st. Gothard of APP
plause) etc., etc" Finally L hug myself
and say, "Oh, il L could see Mrs. Perkins
when she gets the news" We all subside
as happy as any living mugwump after
Clevelands election.
We reached Milan late. We had to get
off at custom house station and all of our
things were taken in and we were ordered
to go in, too. We took every bit of our
luggage and left poor Mrs. Ii. to hold the
car. An officer came and told her to 90 into
the building. suppose in Italian. She in
dicated the fact that all was gone. He got
another, and he another, and so on until
five or six were there gesticulating and chat
tering and she came in. We are carrying
box containing another box which has atype
writer. Well, the outer box is fastened
with screws so close that they are a puzzle.
They tackled 1t but before they had one out
they had turned it over and were prying
open the nails. The train men were re-
mOnstrating, others were having us open
our trunks. The train men howled, the
officers grimly proceeded. We had sgnifed
our willingness to pay duty but couldn't be
understood, and i'm the midst of the pow
WOW the box was opened, only to find the
inner box. Oh, it was jolly. Mrs. M.
made them understand at last she wanted to
pay and go, and the train men made II quite
clear about going and so we paid and went.
We were somewhat ''riled" on regaining
Jul PioCOo diiu WCIc uOb oOOtHcu ny tuc idCt
that two men had taken possession. one of
whom was smoking villainous cigar. Mrs.
M. just walked up to him and said, ''See
here, my FRIEND" touching him on the
shoulder and pointing to the sign mo
smoking" In Italian. He desisted. Then
we rehearsed the scene and talked, quite
oblivious of our fellow passengers. Pres
emily one left and remarked that would
take that seat IL was sure he wouldn't
come back. The other replied In the purest
English that he had gone, he thought.
Suddenly we all remembered what we had
said to each other. The man was an
English manufacturer going to Milan to
look after his factories there. He had ex-
planned to the Italian that 1t wasn't custom
airy In our country to smoke in the car with
ladies. hope he enjoyed our conversation,
and presume he did.
AT Milan. wonderful to relate, we could
have fancied ourselves in an American city.
l mean after dark. There were electric
lights and steam heaters.
We had half a day to see the cathedral
and we were not disappointed. There
seems to be but one thing to describe it.
that old, old hackneyed phrase--a dream In