Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1893-01-11


youth. de was turning it round in his
hands ard puz3ling over 1t when ray Of
light burst into his mind II must belt
was-a mans corset, built for corpulent
bathers like himself. 1t was delicate atten-
ton which the bathing house keeper had
paid him, and he had the good taste not to
refer to 1t verbally.
Teddy passed the corset around his fat
chest and fastened the catches in front.
The garment laced up behind, and Teddy
had wit enough to draw the stay lace tight
and to knot the ends Except that it was
rather baggy in the upper portion of the
Sront 1t fitted him very well and gave him
what he had not had for years--a waist.
Hastily donning the rest OF his bathing
clothes he was soon in the water, waiting
tor the widow.
She tried his patience sorely, and when
abe came there was dark cloud on her
brow. But Ted was so full OF good humor
and cracked 50 many jokes that the cloud
evaporated, and presently the widow was
enjoying herself, as Ted lifted her over the
breakers in his stalwart arms She had
no idea he was so strong, nor had she the
least idea that he had so good figure. In
his ordinary costume he was actually
shapeless, but now manly chest swelled
from fairly proportioned waist, and the
widow could not deny that so far as ap-
pearance went he was proper man.
One tremendous breaker came which
tested his muscle, but he lifted the widow
over it at the cost Of the buttons on his
tunic. Through the indiscreet aperture
thus made the widows eye discerned an
| inner garment which was black.
Sputtering from her immersion, she point
ed with dark scowl to the object and
asked:
"What is thatY"
"Ah, har' jauntily replied Ted; "hal
part OF my bathing cOstume-made for me
expressly by my tailor on Montgomery
street"
The lady vouchsafed no reply, but went
ont OF the water, hastily walked up the
beach and took the direction of her bath
| ing room. Ted, who had been so long in
| the water that lie was chilled through, and
whose fun ended with Dulcinea's depar
! ture, followed her example. He assembled
I the steps, walked along the corridor,
/ noting the numbers on the doors till he
/ came to 81. The door resisted a slight
/ pressure from his hand, but vigorous
/ shove from his shoulder threw it open and
| he stood inside.
| A piercing female shrek divided the
/ air, and Mr. O'Mara's Mortified gaze beheld
/ Mrs. McDonaghue, still fully equipped in
her bathing suit, sitting on the bench with
/ his trousers in her hand.
"Get out of this, you bastel" she screamed.
! "I'll get out fast enough" said he, but
/ I'd like to know what you are doing in my
/ bathing room"
! TITS not yours; it's mine. And IL you
/ don't go I'll call the police"
| 81 swear hired this room Of the keeper
| few minutes ago"
/ II tell you it's mine, hired by the week"
| "Perhaps you'll be telling me, swate Mrs.
/ O'Donaghue, that those are your trousers
/ you have in your purity hand"
| You are a BRUTE" cried the widow,
/ Furnishing the male garment-"a brute
and thafe, too, for that corset you're
wearing is mine, though you did have it
made expressly for you in Montgomery
street"
A suspicion of the mistake began to
dawn on TeiS mind.
"The laundering villain" he muttered.
''Iil break every bone in his body"
"Are you going, Mr.. O'Mara." cried the
widow, In more subdued tone, "or shall
scrame murderp
"And bring the crowd round us'" not
unadroitly suggested Ted. How can go
when you have my trousers in your handt"
Here are your dirty old Clothes" said
the widow, gathering them up and throw
ing them at him.
Thanks" replied Ted, quite politely.
"And, by the way, as you lay claim to this
corset, shall take 1t Off don't know that
am able to unlace it without assistance"
go! Col Brutel Fiend Villainp
And the widow, whose musuclar strength
was not to be despised, pushed him out Of
the bathing room,
1t is not to be supposed that this ami
mated colloquy escaped the ears Of the
bathers. The keeper OF the bathing house,
for prudential reasons Of his own, did not
put in an appearance on the battlefield,
and when Teddy, having resumed his
proper attire, visited the Office and ex-
pressed desire to have few moments
conversation with him, his wife declared
that he had gone to Sequel and would not
be back for day or two But quite
number of gentlemen and ladies were con-
sumed with curiosity to know the cause Of
80 warm controversy, the prevailing opin-
ion being that the fat Irishman had been
guilty OF crimes for which death would
have been too lenient penalty. Nothing
but his decidedly belligerent air prevented
his being called upon by the bystanders
for an explanation.
When Mrs. McDonaghue reappeared in
street costume and accompanied Mr.
/ O'Mara to the hotel, the women followed
the couple with sarcastic looks, and one
small boy was heard to cry:
Jumbo and his wifep'
! When they reached the widows sitting
room she burst into a paroxysm Of tears
/ and sobbed:
"What am to dor"
! ttTha citu atior ~ aaid Tod Up,y,ct ha od.