The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-05-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Long may it wave-The ocean.
Truth
Nothing less than strike arouses a
bass drum to action. Detroit Free
Press.
Let it be understood that there are
popular facts as well as popular fall
lacies Truth.
'Tm feeling dead rocky" as the
petrifed fish remarked to itself.-Har-
yard Lampoon.
Love is frequently satisfied with
quantity; but friendship demands
quality. Puck.
A girls conversation must appear
howery when she talks through her
hat. t."-Statesman.
A man may itch for office, but it is
the voters right to do the scratching.
Boston Courier.
'1'm IN pretty pickle, as the fly
said when he fell into jar OF red cab
bage. Texas Siftings.
The only bright spot left by some
men is the secured place on the char.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Since the introduction of electricity
the street car horse has been gradually
losing his pull. Buffalo Courier
There is something wrong with the
mans head who falls down ON the same
banana skin twice Rams Horn.
They can disinfect and quarantine,
And work as hard as a beaver
To make the country sweet and clean,
thew pnu't keen ont gDriQR lever.
kansas City Journal
In the summer perhaps we can turn
the big postage stamps wrong side up
and use them for fly paper. Washing
ton Star.
When a crate of crockery falls
through an elevator shaft it's little
the worse for the ware. .-Binghamton
Leader.
They make the man in charge Of a
steam fog signal do considerable whis'
tling for his pay before he gets 1t
Buffalo Courier
OTIS n wise monarch, said the man
who abdicated a precarious throne,
''who knows enough to come in out OF
the reign. W Washington Star
cts pretty hard on a man OF my
age to have to depend on his looks,
said the astronomer as he put his eye
to the telescope. Washington Star.
Charlie "Why did they bury poor
Glider ut night?" Archie-"He had no
decent clothes but dress suit. The
Clothiers' and Haberdashers' Weekly.
She-"So you're fully determinedto to
marry her, are you?' He--"Abso'
lutely." She-"H'm Don't you ever
feel sorry for her?"-Detroit Tribune.
Clara-"Did you know that Mrs.
bangle had gone ON n trip to Ber-
muda?" Maude-"No. / must call
ON her before she gets back. Vogue.
Whenever the piano ceased
There was a great furore,
And those who understand 1t least
Were lOudest to encore.
Kansas City Journal.
Mrs. Goodwin-''You shouldn't eat
SO many peanuts, Johnny; you'll be
having dyspepsia. " Johnny Do the
policemen have dyspepsia, mammaT
Life.
She-'A poor painter Why, he
says that he is welded TO his art. " He
-'Perhaps that is the reason, then,
that he darcs treat her SO badly. -
Truth
A woman is keeping in II book a list
of things she ought to purchase, but
cannot afford to wear. She calls the
book her ought-to-buy-ography. New
York Clipper.
About the most discouragiug thing
that comes to IA man in this life Is the
desire TO whip an enemy, coupled with
the belief that ne cant do it.--Cleye-
land Plain Dealer.
Extract From Love Letter: "Should
you fail to reciprocate my affection,
then please return this letter, in order
that / may use it ON another occasion"
Fliegende Blaetter.
What's the price of
your tallow candles?' Dealer Five
cents apiece; fifty cents u dozen"
Customer "Wcu, let me have a
twelfth of IL dozen.
81 don't know which is worst"
languidly remarked the European
monarch as he read of another attempt
IN his life, "my peoples disloyalty or
their craftsmanship. - Washington
Star.
Miss Elder-'I think it was real
mean in You to tell Mr. Spatts | was
twentyseight years old Miss Fosdick
why, you surely didn't want me
to tell him how old you really wereY
Vogue.
Little Beth in the country
"Grandpapa, you must have TO keep an
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