davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

A MICHIGAN young woman was
about to elOpe with a man whose
family could not afford to lose him.
The woman was the ward of a trust
company, a dignified and responsible
concern, that realized the necessity
for prompt action. The woman
would not listen to reason, so the
trust company, with laudable zeal,
hired a pugilist to waylay the man
and beat into him a sense of his own
unworth. The plan succeeded. The
fellow got the best licking that mus
cular minion, anxious to earn his
money, could devise. The scales fell
from the woman's eyes She refused
to fly with battered cripple whose
optics were blackened and nose awry.
A trust that makes a speciality OF
moral reform deserves frequent diyi-
dends.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

The frequency with which the
courts set aside the wills made by
lawyers of repute disposing of their
own property suggests to laymen the
expediency Of having their testa-
ments drawn by those who are not
members of the legal profession.
Samuel ]. Tilden was regarded in
life as the most astute lawyer in
New York, but he was unable to
draw a will for himself that would
stand the scrutiny of the courts. The
late Senator Mcdonald was also one
OF the foremost men in his profession,
but it seems from the pending con-
tentlon that he too was incapable of
framing a valid will. AS a shoe
makers children are always the
worst shod "f their companions, so a
lawyers heirs are always most Der
picked and in contention over his
work. Wealthy lawyers will here
after, If they are wise, hesitate to
undertake the task of apportioning
their property amony their legal
heirs. There will be less trouble in
disposing of their possessions if they
die intestate than if they leave will
lacking in the perspicuity which
should characterize all testaments.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

The passage of a law last year in
Massachusetts restricting the work
ing hours Of women and minors ia
manufacturing establishments to
fifty-eight hours week would, it was
feared, place the manufactures OF
that State at disadvantage with
those OF other States. The appre-
hensiOn was increased when the same
wages were given for f1fty-eight as for
sixty hours Of labor. But as it turned
out this move on the part of Massa.
chusetts has been an incentive to
other States to take like action. The
New Hampshire Legislature has just
passed a law exactly similar in its
terms, and the large Lewiston Mills
in Maine have increased wages to a
point where the cost of production
will be equal to the short hour pro-
duction in Massachusetts. This re-
tbs encouraging, as it shows that
efforts to improve the condition of
the workiDgman in one State are
pretty sure to be seconded elsewhere.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

WHAT in the mischief are We to eat
nowadays: After listening to the
vegetarians, who say We shouldn't
eat meats, and to the sun ripeners.
who warn us against eating under
ground growths like potatoes and
turnips, We hear the voice Of another
food reformer who says We mustn't
eat anything made Of grain, such as
wheat bread, corn dodgers, flapiacks,
oat cakes, peas-meal bannocks, or
macaroni. all Of which are hard of
digestion and bad for the health. Go
to grass. We humbugs all, and herd
with Nebuchadnezzar. Give, us all
things that are good, wholesome.
nourishing, tasteful. and heightened
things as make q person feel
happy and brave. Give us a show.
Let folks loose in the animal, veye-
table, graminivorous. cocoanut, chest.
nut, and apple-sass kingdoms.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

ceived the same penalties as the
younger De Lesseps, and NJ. Eif1el, of
Eiffel tower fame, two years and Z
fine Of $4,000. 1t is almost to be
hoped that NJ. de Lesseps' mental
condition is as feeble as has been re-
ported, that he may not realize the
disgrace that has clouded his brill
liant career. Few will believe that
he was criminally guilty in the
Panama scandal and all generous per-
sons will hope that the President of
the republic may see his way to the
exercise Of executive clemency. As
to the Others, they have made then
beds and must lie in them.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

In 1892 the raisin crop of Califor-
Mia amounted to 42,O0O,O 900 pounds,
which was about equal to the con-
sumption Of the United States four
or five years ago. The first 1000 car
loads sent East realized the raisers
a cents per pound. But, says the
San Francisco Examiner, owing to an
overstock of the market and insane
competition in November several
hundred carloads OF the remainder
were consigned to Eastern brokers.
who in many cases loaned money
thereon, and were sold at prices that
would bring the grower about l cent
per pound.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

A POLICE JUDGE of San Francisco
has stipulated that in his court a
woman must always be spoken of as
a lady. A point in etiquette, backed
by the dignity of the bench, can
only be ignored by those willing to
run the risk Of being in contempt.
The saleslady has already won her
place, with the kitchen lady good
second and the scrublady a likely
candidate. To demand that police
man shall say, "Yer homer. arrested
this lady in Tar Flat bowling drunk,
and the court responds, "The lady is
fined &C." does seem at first to be
stretching polteness, but doubtless
the public can be educated up to it.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
livery breach of faith.

EVERY breach of faith, every
broken promise, every mean advant-
age taken, however small and trifling
each may appear, helps to build up
the dishonesty which at some time,
and by some one, wrecks the happi-
ness of multitudes and drags down
the SHINING one to degradation and
sin. The honor of the country and
the integrity of the nation are in the
hands Of every citizen; each is re-
sponsible for his share in making or
in marring them.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

A FAvORTTE drink in Hawaii is
known as the "poi cocktail" 1t is
made by stirring poi into glass of
milk. An American who has tried
1t says there is nothing like a poi
cocktail for the head" that follows
prolonged spree. "When the stom-
ach absolutely refuses anything
known to civilization" he writes,
glowingly, when the throat is dry
and burning, the voice husky, the
temple throbbing and the hands
shaking" the cocktail is swallowed
and is almost instantly assimilated."
a delicious feeling Of calm and rest
steals over the patient. The
throat becomes once more of flesh in.
stead Of fire and the head ceases to
ache. In fifteen minutes he is ready
for another spree" With the aid of
the poi cocktail, then, a man of aver
age capacity, with free access to spree
producing beverages of the necessary
strength and the disposition to i'm
bibe them. can indulge in thirteen
and one-third separate and distinct
jags every working day of ten hours.
This computation allows him thirty
minutes for getting drunk and fifteen
minutes for SOLDERING of. An expert
enced rounder will testify that in
many cases quarter of an hours in
dulgence in whisky and beer or whis-
Ky and hard cider will develop a full
grown drunk, but with a view to
greater scientific exactness we have
made half an hour the basis Of calcu-
latiOn. The result is simply appall-
ing. By dev0ting eight hours of the |
twenty-four to sleep a determined !
debauchee can crowd twenty-one |
sprees into one day and still have If
teen minutes left for indulging in
free lunches. The poi cocktail is the
worst enemy to sobriety ever discov-
cred. 1t is the most potent jag pro
moter yet devised by the ingenuity Of
man. Away with It!
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

No Trees of first quality can ever be
sent by mail. Mayhap you know it. BY
freight, prepaid if preferred, we ship
safely 4, or #. trees; 2-year Roses of
rare Notwithstanding. You actu-
ally pay less than for the puny stuff
1000 acres Nurseries. 10000 acres Or
ehards. Exact information about trees
and fruits. Stark Bros, Louisiana, Mo.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Poor old De LessepS That will be
the verdict of the world. The feeble
.octOgenarian was sentenced to be inn.
prisoned five years and pay fine of
$1,000. His son was sentenced for
the same term and his fine placed at
$50 n F0ntsine and n. Cotter ne.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

A TRIBEin Africa requires its pub
lie speakers to stand on one leg while
engaged in discussion. Thus is our
boasted civilization put to the blush
by the savages of the dark continent.
Their plan would spare the American
people vast amount of Oratorical
blOviating and buncOmbe.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
MOST peOple think they shOuld n;

Most people think they should pay
a good deal of attention to love as a
sort of sacred thing. Bacon dis
misses it with half page, and says it
is a weak passion which no man Of
sense can afford to acknowledge; and
one OF the most successful family
magazines in the world will not allow
the subject to be mentioned in its
columns.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
The Best sy.tem OF Fertilization

Is that adopted by people in precarious health
who wisely fortify their systems against dis
ease with that acceptable and erectual barrier
against its inroads-HOs letters Stomach Bit
tsrs precautionary measures, when the
neaith Is Duts slightly impaired is as physicians
well know, worth any amount Of medication
alterward premonftory malarial chill a
NJ OF Indigestion, increasing irregularity OF the
OF the kidneys. slight At first bilious sallow-
ness accompanied with furred tongue-these
are appeals 10 the sense OF self-protectioa
Whlcn no person OF common Judgment will dis
regard. Hosteffer's Stomach Bitters pre-
serves those who take IL from malaria, dys-
Pepsia chronic constipation. rheumatism kid
nty ana bladder trouble and liver complaint
Nervous invaIids persons troubled with the
innrmit:es incident TO advanced years ladies
IN oeIlcate health and convaleScent, derive in
nnite benefit from the Bit,ers
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

SIXTEEN rebellious Indians CAP
tured by Mexican troops are to be
subjected to rigid questioning and
then shot. If the Indian character
south of the Rio Grande is the same
as on this side, time and annoyance
would be saved by shooting the pris-
OnerS first.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

An opera house and a church were
destroyed on the same night by fire
at Purcell, in the Indian Territory.
Those who are accustomed to draw
morals from calamities Of whatever
kind will find an interesting puzzler
in this one
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
IF King Kalakaua were alive he
would call for another stack of chips
and endeavor to regain his lost ground.

WHEN you are buying high-priced
carpets do not forget that combina-
tion Of weaver and jacquard loom can
turn out fifty-yard roll of Brussels
in one day.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
THE MODERN WAY

Commends itself to the we'll formed. to do
pleasantly and effectually what was former
ly done in the crudest manner and disagree
ably as we'll. To cleanse the system and
break up colds, headaches and fevers with
out unpleasant after effects use the delight
ful liquid laxative remedy, Syrup of Figs.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

A TEXAS editor wants a law passed
compelling actors to wear clothes on
the stage. It will be necessary first
to provide against the numerous
stage robberies for which the Lone
Star State is notorious.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Thousands of tons of blood and bone fer
tilizers were used by Missouri and Kansas
farmers last year. They are rapidly learn
ing that honest fertilizers are highly prof
liable investment Armour Packing Com.
pany, Kansas City, are the larSes. manufac.
turers OF these goods in the world.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Applicant TO, insurance: No, sir: neith-
.t eI oIlhx. cnew ror swear: l don't go to tho
theatre or attend balls. and have nc a~;, aS
socrates. | am at home always bv 10 O'Clock:
am Sunday school teacher, and nv morals
are ABOVE reproach l neve- had a davis
sickness IN my life. Agent: That ia an ex-
ira extra hazardous risk. young man. and
we we can take 1T. Applicant: What! Agent:
The good die young, you know. s0"''
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Lanes Medicine Moves the Bowels
Zach Day. In order to be healthy this IS
necessary. Cures constipation, headache,
kidney and liver troubles and regulates the
stomach and bowela Price SOC and 81. 90 e
all dealers
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

For Coughs and Throat Troubles use
Brown's Bronchial Troches.-.sThey
stop An attack of my asthma cough very
promptly. &c. Fdlch, MidmiriIie, o.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Tourist: understand they raise pretty
nearly everything in this county? Farmer:
Everything but mortgages, partner
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Inspector tat the penitentiary): under
stand that measles broke out three days ago.
Warden: Yes: but the guards caught them.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

We eat too much and take too little out
door exercise. This is the fault of our mod
ern civilization. 1t is claimed that Garfield
Tea, simple herb remedy, helps Nature to
overcome these abuses.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Lady (engaglng cook: Do you under
stand French cookery? Irishwoman: Oh. yis,
mum. Oi understand all about furrin cook.
cry: VI can cook Frsnch beans an Spanish
onions. an jerusalem artichoLss.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Miss lPterly: Yo1 westerners. under.
stand, alVvery sociabie. Mr.. Kehboi sad
ly): Taint like it useter be. miss, when we
carried our guns to functions.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

ssh" questioned an irate female shopper.
as she pounced upon small man who was
pacing the store, ''are you the floor walker?'
M o, ma'aIn,' he gasped, I'm o-o-onIy
the p-p-propretor'
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

No table of liquid measure in the books
states the fact. but a person, If he tries. can
get peck OF trouble out of pint of whisky.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Ethel: Did you enjoy the playing at the
concert as much as you expected? Helen !:
On. dear, no; the pianist's hair was cut real
short.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

First Stranger: It seems to me have
seen your face before. Second Stranger:
Quite likely. That's where carry !.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
FUBLIsHHD BIZ

The adding pig has been outdone
by spelling bee.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

A little boy was asked what the Sunday
school text was. He answered, MANY are
cold, but few are fro en-"
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

NEkVk kkSIOkER. No nt after first days use. Mar
veIous cures Treatise and trial bottle free to fs
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Coughing Leads to Consumption.
kcmp's Balsam will stop the cough at
once. Go to your druggist to-day and get q
sample bottle free. Large bottles SOC and 81,
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Is'prised my teacher in school, to-day"
said Nancy. ''She told me couldn't whis-
per, and told her right off how | could
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Daughter docking up from her novel;:
Papa: In time of trial what DO you suppose
brings the most comfors to a man? Papa
t"ho Is district judgeJ: An acquittal, l
should think.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Jagson says his hired girl finds so much
fault with things that he classes her with the
hire critics.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

g., Inc reason Why these Arctic expedition.
OF men," Whom would Won tasa ~ ..ra," r,Lo
Erapn inemen, of course" "And whv
tasm Eecause they can get from pols to
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Il got a secrd," said Molly. Nv MANN.
says maybe if i'Ia awful good for a whole
month papall try to have me eggszibited at
ths woyid's fair "'
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

II wonder Why the wedding was post.
poned:' SAID one girl to another. ''It was
n!' ''She told him che couldn't cook. but
shs was going to learn"
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

An Exception.-Snooper: There is moth
ing perfect on this earth. Swayoack: You
forget Gilley. what about Gilley?- "He's
q perfect asso
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

81 envy Curtfey his memory, "Why?"
'He invited Miss Grlmchsp to dance and
then forgo. it,
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Sister Goldbug: Use berry sorry. Drs'P
Whitetop. to seed you comm out o. dat e.
loon yesterday. brother Whitetop: Can't
help it, Sister Goldbug; pse can't expeud all
my time in dere; I'se got to 60 home wunce
in or whila
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Customer (at bookstore: Have YOU Mod
ern Views of Heaven?" New Clerk IL don't
know, sir. Have you inquired at the photo
graph counter?
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

II the Baby d. Cutting Teeth,
BE sure and use that old and we'll remedy Mka
WINsLow's SOOTHING SYKUP for Children Teethirg
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

If anybodys actions speak louder than
words they must be those of the bass drum
mer.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

The coal miner is generally above his bus
iness after working hours.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Sporting Gentleman (aftsr a fve-mile
walk): Great Scott! u that tho mill you
wanted me to zee? thought somebody was
going to stand up against somebody else 10
zee which Was the better man.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

Love is merely very pleasant faith
cure.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24
DIR. TALMAGE'S SERMON.
DECADES FROM 2oTO 70 HAVE
LESSONS FOR MAN.

Age OF the Patriarchs-The Years Allotted
BY the Psalmist-Though Some Have Ex.
ceeded Them. Yet Seventy Years Are
Natures Usual Limit.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

WHEN no one is bOthering him.
how beautifully a man counsels peace.
The Globe-republican., 1893-03-24

40"
CountIthe vast value Of your souls
Beware and count the awful cost
What they have gained whose souls are Loaf
The record-union., 1893-03-25
GRAND WORDS OF TRUTH.

1t is easy for people to talk about them
selves, ana state what they may have done.
but il is far better TO have other people spea k
for you. The WORDS which follow are the frank
expressions of people who know OF what they
speak.
Rev. VIM. w. Whitney, of Linuthgo. y. Y.
says: al have been afflicted more or less for
six years past with malaria, aEue. have had
pneumonia three times and have been
troubled with bronchial and catarrhal trouble
of the throat. Two years ago had the grip.
which ran into catarrhal pneumonia. l was
very sick for twelve weeks and the doctors
thought / would die. While in this condition
I began taking something OF which I had
heard much but knew little and am rejoiced
to say that l have been practically cured by
the use of Dufy's pure malt whisky"
Mr.. John Kelly Chase. Amesbury, Mass
says: For some six years past my wife has
been suffering from nervous prostration. For
years she was troubled with insomnia and
nothing recommended by the most eminent
physicians would induce sleep. Under the
advice OF physi ,ians she recently tried Duny's
malt whisky In small quantities and with the
most satisfactory results. While Mrs. Chase
has always been stanch in her temperance
principles and consistent in practice, she has
no hesitation in recommending to inyalids
who need gentle stimuant, DuHy's pure
malt whisky"
H. Il. Babcock, the celebrated wagon manu-
lacturer OF Watertown, y. y, says: Myself
and wife are using Dufiy's pure malt whisky
and il is doing Us good. We celebrated in
we are now looking forward TO the seventy
fifth and believe that good tonic may help
Us along"
E C. Avlla, of the Brooklyn association Tor
81 nave used Duffy'S malt whisky for the
past two years, having suffered from severe
headaches and nervous prostration. | have
been very much relieved by the use OF the
whisky, and have gained nearly seventeen
pounds in weight"
The above statements speak for themselves.
The record-union., 1893-03-25
American Swiss, 1G@lsc, Martins Cream
ery. 11m1Gc.

cry, l j@1Gc.
EGGS-Ranch, I5c e dozen.
PDULTRN-IurSeys- Hens, ] &c 2 ib;
CfobOiers, sc; Dressed. ~c. Chickeus- Hens
/ S697 2 dozen: Rooster, S5@G. BrOllers 3:
Tame ,I15 Packs, 80 90; Geese. - { Fqir.
GAME-Hure- 2uC H pair; Rabbits, 2OC a
pair; squirrels, % e pair; Gray Geese, soc;
BruGt, 35c; White IJc
NEGETABLES-Ne Turuips, Sc q
dozen; Beets, &C; Turnips, -r; carrots, Sc;
Parsnips, Sc oyster Plant, sc; Lettuce Sc;
hadishes, s.; Green onions. So; Leek. Sc;
cabbage esc r h; savoy Cabbage. soc q
dozen; Celery, soc; CauliliOwtr, JOc; Red
Cabbage, 5cc; kale. SOC; Onions, PC p 10;
Hubbard squash, &c; Dried Peppers. I215c;
Garlic. &c: hOrserudisn Root. 0c; Mushrooms,
| 6@S Sc Spinach "a Green Peas. 80; Peppers,
Sc; Dried OkrN. zoe: Celery Root. 1Oc .
dozen; Asparagus &c p h..
MEATS-Beef, 5la96c p 10; Mutton, 71lGSc;
Lamb, 5 sc; Veal. large. 5a ll.c: siualI.
dressed, $ seHc; Hogs, 51sajl4c; dressed Iori..
g; h'uu-, Eastern, ls92oc; California, 90
19c; Bacon, - s01sC.
BREADSrUFf S-Fl1ur, 81 :, hbI: Oatmeal,
1O-b sacks. 3 C. q b. s. So = lOU. % SACKS;
Cornme1l White, 81 90 r IOO-h sacks;
Yellow, 81 go 1UC-b sacks; crack q Wheat.
81 30 Q 1OO-h sack; Graham, - z 100 %
sacks.
POTATOES - Early Rose. aoc@sl p c,.t;
h4Net buruanks, HOcf Centennial. SOC. -n-
lnaS Burbauks, choice stock. ~; River Recs,
15c; Fancy Suuwfiakes, 600. 5c; SWecf-,
II 90; NevadaS. s. IL; New PotatOls So = h.
HAY AND GhAlN-0af Hay. S1ual1 p
/ ton; Wheat, SlOa1l; secuna quality, -;
! 80 q etl; Barley, s50s0c; White Wild OH.S,
81 1901 20; Corn, 81 90; Bran, So e ton;
Middlngs, $50 2 ton: Ground Barley, Si9g
20 ? ton straw, 0O055c & bale.
The record-union., 1893-03-25

could not remain forever upon my bed,
nor could l expect to hide my crime if
the evidence of it remained there until
the morning. The corpse must be re-
moved, the floor scrubbed-every mark
must be erased. With all effort I arose,
staggered to the table, lit the candle, and
prepared to look upon nay grewsome work.
a small mirror hung on the wall, and
as the candle blazed up l saw my face
reflected in the glass. 1t was pale and
drawn, and my hdiT aUdS nearly iChite.
With shudder turned to confront the
staring, .glazy eyes of my victim, to see
the headless trunk from which the blood
was slowly spewing. turned and Isaw,
all Gashed and torn by that murderous,
sweeping blow-my best pair OF patent
leather boots.