The Democrat. (Scotland Neck, Halifax Co., N.C.) 1884-1896, 1893-03-30
BROWN AS 4 PUNCTUATOR.
WHAT CANE OF TRYING NEW RAPID
METHOD OF LEARNING TIE
RULES.

"Brown, my boy, there's nothing
like 1t. It's better than French in
ISlx Weeks because you can work
it into yourself III d month, SO that
fyou can hardly say or think any.
thing without following the rule.
Take this beautiful selection, which
recalls our old school-boy days:
The boy stood on the burning deck,
comma, whence all but he had fed,
semlcolon; the flames that Int the
battles wreck, comma, shone
around him o,er the dead, period
That's grand; that's inspiring.
You have all the beauty and all the
sentiment, and besides you punctu.
ate as you go along, and SO mingle
the artistic and the useful.
Brown was quite taken with this
new plan for learning how to pupct.
uate properly, says the Washington
Star. He had often felt like q
brother to the fellow who wrote u
book without any punctuation what
ever, simply adding In On appendix
a complete list of punctuation marks
from which the reader could select
aud punctuate as much or as little
as he pleased.
The first lesson went of swim>
mingly. Brown SO fell into the
spirit of 1T that as he walked up the
street afterwards he found himCelf
sohloquizing, II wonder, comma,
If had better get that pacegorlc,
comma, before l 60 home, period.
Perhaps. COMMA" Then he
slipped up on piece of banana
skin and went down fat with two
exclamation points and enough stars
to equip several issues of 9 "blank>
ct sheet"
For the first time IN his life he
felt like using the "dash" and also
making q dash for the miscreant
Who threw that murderous peel
there. He lag on the pavement
long enough to denote several para.
graphs, then got up with difficulty
and limped down the street. But
the magic power of that first
lesson was still upon him, and meet.
ing a newsboy, began: "Well, CON-
ma, my boy, what papers have you?
Interrogation point" The sharp
eyed little rascal gazed at him Gu
riously and then replied: "Com.ah?
Come off. When did yer 'scape
frum th' 'sylum?"
After punctuatlng the town gem
eraily during the next two hours
and getting u crowd of small boys
at!hls heels, whom be escaped by
seeking refuge in an empty school
building--a place the average boy
never enters if he can help lt-he
took home to his dear family q
somewha battered but still large
supply OF punctuatlons.
At2a. m, his wife nandged him.
Jobn there are burglars IN the
housed" "What-ahq Burglars
burglars!' Now wide awake, he
sprang to the floor, exclaimed:
"Dealest, comma, Will defend you,
Gamma, even with NY hearts blood,
comma If necessary, exclamation
point! He then threw open the
chambe door right IN the face of
two masked burglars, who held
pistols to his brest and demanded:
"YOur money or your life!'
With one whlrl of his strong
right arm lie dashed the pistols
aside. two bullets perforating the
hall window in instead Of his head,
as was intended. With two more
whirls of that truaty arm he sent
tbs burglars as surely and swiftly
as one sentence follows another in
the mouth of q 200 minute speak
or out through the window after
the bullets, remarked: "There, cam
ma, now, comma, yon can hunt your
bullets at your leisure, period. Call
again, comma, and Pll snow you
how to punctuate better, comma,
but you can't put a period to my
existence just yet, period"
Then rushing back to his wife he
exclain ed: "Joy to my life, excla-
nation point, light of my eyes,
more exclamation points, come to
my arms, period" They fell weep.
ing on each others necks. Stars
and dashes come in here. denoting
a domestic scene too sacred for the
eyes and ears Of the vulgar public.