The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1893-11-22
MOTHERS PLACE.
How to Get 1t.

-" S"u oCSulH pSIleCI ODeul-
ence from my child2" This oues-
ton is daily agitated by thousands
of well meaning fathers and moth
ers. Various answers might be
given, to suit various cases, all of
which would be more or less helpful,
such as "Don'tnag," Don't demand
too much, Don't punish in anger, 3"
"Give the child chance to exercise
right of choice" Trust your boy"
"Show your faith in his good inten.
tions," Sympathize with him in
his NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. of which he
may have inherited from you, and
which he sees in you," Treat him
as though his youth were not his
fault, and don't let it debar him
from obtaining simple justice"
But there is one answer which is
above and beyond all these; in
truth, it lies back of them and in
cludes all of them. The shortest
and surest way to get obedience
from your child is to think less
about what you are going to get, and
more about what you are going to
give. Think less of yourself as his
master than as his helper. G DIS
truth is unit, and the infallible
rule against self-seeking applies in
this as in every oth er sphere of life.
1t applies in Gods own dealings
with his creatures. His whole ma
ture is outgoing. Humanity speak
ing, his first concern is for his
children.
"But," replies the inquiring faith
er, 81 don't call that self. seeking.
Paul says that children ought to
obey their parents; and, as a par
ent, 1t is my duty to train my child
to do what he ought to do"
Good father, you and Paul are
right; but it makes a great differ
ence whether, in your general desire
to so train your child, the burden of
your anxiety falls most upon your
deserts as his father, or upon his
deserts as your son.
OF course, the child must under
stand that it is under authority, and
1t must grow by doing for and serv
ing you; but that is quite apart
from your indulging yourself in the
despotic delights of my authority"
as the family of your parental
thinking. The man who lies awake
at night over the proposition "How
can get obedience?" is not likely
to think beyond that obedience
when he gets it by fair means or
by foul. He will rest satisfied in
the ultimate achievement of his
purpose to be obeyed. And if the
demands that he makes upon his
child for obedience are unreasonable
not to say immoral, he will still
have reached the goal of securing
obedience,-which was what he
started out to do.
And what about the obedient
child's character in the meantime?
!" answers the good father,
Il wouldn't make unreasonable de-
mands, and of course 1 purpose to
be morally correct in my rulings"
Let the moral question pass. Are
you sure you would not be unrea-
sonable? Are you sure you could
not misunderstood your child some
time, that you could not be unfair
to him, could not slight him, could
not even be impolite to him2 Are
you sure you are fallible in every
thing except this one business of
being your child's master and ruler?
oh certainly l should make
mistakes" replies the father;
wouldn't you yourselfl"
Undoubtedly 1 might. But, 9TH
er things being equal, when my
child's due was my first thought /.
should be in far less danger OF max
ing mistakes than when that thought
was for myself. Now let me tell
you a good old secret: Mature is
commanded by obeying her." Child
nature is one of Gods forms of ma
ture. Study tit will take about
all the brains and heart and time
that you have to spare. In dealing
with the little children we obey God,
so far, by obeying child.nature,-
that is, complying with natural con-
ditions. Work from that point of
view, and you will be surprised to
fiud how naturally your child obeys
God by obeying you. Get by giving
but don't give for the purpose Of
getting. Obedience to you is the
child's business. If you do your
part faithfully toward the child, he
Will easily do his part toward his
father. When he fails in his duty,
as occasionally he will, it will not
be too soon to look back Of his fail.