Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1893-01-19

Tea-Table Talk.
PAPER bustles belong In the waist
basket. New Orleans Picayune.
AN obtuse angle--dshing for COM
pliments. County Standard.
A COMET crushed to earth will not
rise again. New Orleans Plcayune.
AN ear of corn is supposed to be at
tentive to the corn's-taik. Boston
Courier.
The crockery trust Is broken. 1t
ran up against the servant girls
trust.-Texas Siftings.
MAMMA" said Johnny, IF swal-
lowed thermometer would / die by
degrees?p-Boston Post.
TALK about your transformations!
We have seen square man turn
round.-Yonkers Gazette.
MANY man who will fight il you
kick his dog, let's his wife carry in
all the wood. Rams Horn.
RECIPE for a domestic broil: First
catch the hair on your husbands
coat-collar. Boston Gazette.
You never could persuade horse
car driver that women know enough
to vote. -Somerville Journal.
The race question at present per-
tains not so much to immigration as
to the America cup. -Philadelphia
Record.
AS THERE are no railroads in the
other world, Mr.. Gould has probably
seized the toboggan sllde.-St. Louis
Post Dispatch.
THE winter girl who is described
as dressed to kill would doubtless be
classified as a form of slay-belle. =
Washington Star.
No CHARGE to florists for this adj
vice: II you would have your plants
start early put them in spring beds.
Lowell Courier.
IT is now thought that what was
regarded few days ago as Biela's
comet was only the price of COAL
Binghamton Leader.
BOOSTERS are good deal like men.
A rooster never gives notice OF finding
a worm until after he has swallowed
it.-Atchison Globe.
If cats could only hold their back
fence carnivals in the daytime they
wouldn't mew-till-late nights So
Rochester Democrat.
A MAN is satisfied to make repu-
tation for himself, but woman, bless
her. wants to make one for everybody
in the neighborhood.- Elmira Ga
Zette.
OFFICER KRAUTMEIER Il guess
peter as you 20 to vail. Befuddled
Stranger-Not mush I'll go to Yale.
I'm Harvard man. -Indianapolis
Journal.
ADORER-"When we are married,
darling, we shall be one" Miss
lbsen-"I'm aware of that, Edward;
but the question is, which one?"-
Funny Folks.
@YoU said you would die for me,
but you get discouraged the first time
papa kicks you down stairs" Il
never agreed to die for him."-De-
troit Tribune.
Il WISH you would not take adj
vantage Of the relationship seemingly
implied i'm your name to be so
familiar" said the hen to the Ratchet.
Washington Star.
TEACHER = James, what is the
shortest day Of the year? James
from experience) = The day your
father promises to give you lickin'
afore you go tobed.-Puck.
ETHEL (excitedly)-"He has known
me only two days and put his arm
around me-" Eva-"You mean, /
suppose, that he knew you two days
and only put his arm around YOU
Life.
TAX AssEssoR-"Do you swear that
you own nothing but the clothes you
are wearing?" Charlie Lakeland
well, / also own a porous plaster,
but am wearing that, too. Seattle
Soundings.
CREDIToR-"I called to see if you
could pay that little bill to-day"
Debtor-"Come, now, this is little
too much. You press me about that
little bill just as though Iwere poor
man. Boston Transcript.
STURGIS-We 1nuulRe In DOMESTIC
drama every night at our house.
Parkes-Indeed Who takes part?
StuIgis-My 3-months-old daughter is
leading lady, and 1 do a walking gen.
tleman part-New York Herald.
LITTLE DICK--"I wish had a
pair of skates" Fathcr-"Why don't
you pray for them?" Little Dick
well, skates wouldn't be any good
without ice. III tell you how Wen
fix it. You get the skates and I'll
pray for the ice. Good News.
~WHAT a beautiful woman Miss
Barclay is. BY Jove, she is Venus"
said Hicks. "Bosh!" returned Nav
son. "Look at her arms; they're so
thin you can't see 'em. That's all
right; she's Venus of Milo" ex-
planned Hicks. Harper's Bazaar.
JACK-"Did you lose anything on
the game, Maud?" Maud-~No; you
see, Jack Holworthy promised me ten
pounds of candy If they won, and
George Ely promised me the same IL
they were victorious. 1t was rather