davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09

An American and an Englishman
were one day sitting on the balcony of
the Anglo-American Tub in Brussels,
passing the rather slow hours in a
little friendly guying of each other The
Engsishman sat facing the American
flag. and the A merican sat facing the
English flag. After a brief lull in the
sharpchOoting the Englishman came
out with. Il say old man, We cawn't
imagine what your flag reminds me
of"
The American was serious. "Well.
what is it?''
why il reminds me of deuced big
gridiron. don't you know"
The American smiled sad smile and
then said: "All right. Johnny. But
what do you think your flag reminds
me OFF,
Don't know"
We'll, IL reminds ne of darned big
beefsteak that we can frs on our grid
iron boston Budg.N
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
THE MODERN VIKING SHIP.
A Close Copy of the Boat iu Which Lief
Erickson Sailed.

Nine centuries ago Lief Erickson, or
Lief the Lucky" found his way, ii is
claimed, to the shores of America in
one of the sea-slkimming dragons and
skirted along our New Englnnd coast
long before Columbus crossed the At
lantic in his caravels: and the stone
tower at Newport, the age of which no
one seems to know, is thought by many
to have been built by the Vikings
crew.
Prominent Norwegians interested in
the debate as to whether Erickson real
ly did make this voyage, have patriot
ically contributed money to have ship
built in all respects similar to the one
found at Gokstad. She was sent across
the ocean on a visit to America and the
Worlds fair as part of Norway's ex-
hibit. She is seventy-seven feet long and
sixteen feet wide. Her rudder is on
IL e starboard or ''steerboard" side
and she flies the ancient and
dreaded red flag and raven of the
pirates of old. She has thirty oars,
worked by relays of rowers from a
crew of eighty picked Norwegian
sailors who brought her over the sea
with sail and oar, just as their forefa
theirs came so long ago, amid icebergs
and storms.
There is one difference, however: for
instead of landing on rocl1-bound
coast inhabited by savage Indians, they
are welcomed ny new nation, great
and free, in whose harbOrs is many an
iron war-ship greater and more terri
bile than the Viking ever dreamed of.
But these men-of-war did not meet to
destroy one another in battle, but for
the purpose of celebrating the coming
of that other great sea-rover and dis
coverer, Columbus.
When the Palisades of the Hudson
looked down upon the seemingly
antique earavelS. themselves modern
besides the Viking ship, perhaps the
old rocks sleepily wondered at the alb
sence of the good ship "Ialf Moon
the craft of their old friend Hendrix
Hudson; for to them it seemed that the
old Dutch vessel might well have Joined
the procession of historic ships that
long ago discovered America. - St
Nicholas
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09

The japanese are a very polite peo-
pie, but they sometimes like to play a
joke, in roundabout, oriental way,
upon the men of the west In the days
of the second empire Baron Gros was
sent To Japan to demand the opening
of certain ports to French commerce.
Among the rest he named to the
Japanese ministers certain city.
The Japanese functionaries smiled so
broadly when he preferred the request
that the French ambassador asked them
TO tell him what gave them so much
amusement; but instead of answering.
the japanese ministers said:
I'VE will open the port in question,
my lord, If France, in her turn, will
open a certain port to us."
What port is that?' asked the
Frcnchman.
The port OF Liverpool.
But, your eXcellencies," laughing,
Liverpool is not French port, but an
English one"
"les?" answered the Japanese.
And the port you named TO us is not
in Japan, but in Corea,'
The French ambassador was COM
PEELED TO admit that the joke was upon
him. Youths Companion.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
yaIue Of the Drained zuvder Zee.

In the year 1856 a society was organ
lied in Holland to make plans for the
draining of the Zuyder Zee. II now
officially reports that three-fourths OF
the soil covered by these 300, 900 acres
of water is as fertile as surrounding
districts, and proposes a scheme of
drainage which will leave 800, 600 acres
in the center as a lake. while the rest
will be redeemed at rate that will
annually render from II. 600 TO $1,000
acres habita BILE. The cost of the en-
tire work is estimated at 5000 600.
The largest enterprise of the same sort
hitherto carried out has been the drain
ing of the HARLEM lake, which, after
thirty-nine months of labor. added 49,
600 acres TO the solid soil of Holland
When the Zuyder Zee was formed by
an inundation, in the thirteenth cen
fury. some 50, 0O0 lives are believed to
have been lost, and this fact gives an
idea of the profit which viii result from
its redemption. Garden and Forest
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
A CASE OF CONSCIENCE.
How a Lswmslser Avoided Telling a Di-
rect L..

rect Tie.
Some of our lawmakers" said a
veteran lobbyist, who had had exper-
fence in many capitals, have very
curious consciences. I remember on
one occasion that it became neces-
sary to have a certain man in a certain
state legislature on our side in a little
legislation of Importance. and it was my
duty TO look after him. did SO, with
various attentions, including wines,
dinners, and so on, and at last, as
couldn't fix him, pumped thousand
dollar bill at him. My, my, but he was
hot.
No man can bride me. sir, No man
can bride me, he fairly yelled, and he
tore up and down in such violent
manner that discreetly pocketed my
thousand and left him. The next day
i don't know. of course, how il could
have happened-one or two newspapers
that didn't like my man published an
intimation that the lobbyists were
taking care of him Then he was hot
ter than ever. and the next night sent
lady lobbyist ia my employ 10 see
him. She came back TO me in an hour
without the thousand dollars and said
he was all right Then saw him, and
the next day he had card in all the
papers TO the effect that he had repealed
with scorn the advances of a lobbyist,
and that he had accepted a bride from
no man. When the bill came up he
voted with US and no comment was
made because he had been on the fence
anyway and nobody, except the few,
knew how he would vote. All the same
he took roundabout way to avoid tell
ing a straight lie, didn't hc9' and the
lobbyist laughed Detroit Free Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09

y y
had told some wonderful story of his
exploits except the athletic Jack VIII
mcr, who sat. big and calm aud upper
tnrbable, putting away II his corncob
ripe
Look here. Wilmer" said Greer.
this won't do Any fellow that's led
the tough life tina; you have must hav,.
lots Of things Ia tell. Tome. brace up
and give rs a story. We want 10 be
amuse ed.
Never had but one extraordinary
ADVENTURE" said Wilmer. land that
was chiefly remarkable for the way it
ended lou won't ike it"
Come, give IL To- u>-''
Take drink. Jack. aud begin
Wilmer took his pipe from his mouth
and stretched out his frame in the
chair.
We'll, you see" he said, 1T was
when first came to New York I was
having pretty hard time OF it. with
ont money. friends or any education 20
speak Of. like YOU fellows that have
becn To college. There wasn't much
that ! didn't try my hand at, from
porter ia hotel To- clerk in a big cloth
ing store on Sixth avenue. but gave
that mp pretty ln-cOuldn't stand
fitting clothes On pert little dudes that
| could have carried with one hand
Good thing got out of H. too, because
If d; had lasted much longer I should
have knocked some of them down.
But while was clerk had room
IN a cheap lod. ing house on the East
side near Third avenue Eighth street.
] think il was. II was On the first
floor. the back room. as stuffy and hot
lI.tle hole as you ever saw. and was
there all summer. IL had one big
window in the back. and there ! used
To- spend most Of my time when was
IN the house. trying 10 get a breath OF
frrsl. air and looking at the dingy
courtyard that belonged also To the
house back of us on Seventh street. II
was like ..c't, paved with stones The
children used To play in il and the wom-
EN- hang ont their clothes
One awfuily hot day in July about
FIVE o'clock in the afternoon I was sit
ting there in my shirt sleeves, drowsv
and sleepy with heat. Not having any
thing e.se To 10. I had a sheet of paper
before me on which / idly scrubbed
over and over again my name. John
Wilmer. in my own peculiar scrawl-
that looks like the trail of ifs that
mas Just Crawlcd out of an inkStaud
- was very drow>y and mad a. hops
with yellow haired woman al a win
diW who was calling ont a she lifted
the liz Of box that had been hung
cut Of the ~ .ndov To serve as a refrig-
erato~;
Maggie. do vou want ME TO bring the
POTATOES. too Maggie. Maggie. why
don't vuu answer
-'On the fire escape Of another house
two children we're having fight NV
ewes closed for a moment when sud
denly in the quiet came a gust OF
wind hooked up in time To see the
paper before me blown out Of the win
dow acru>s the courtyard TO the win
dow in the basement where 4 man was
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
plTn AND POINT.

"A common calamity is a great
teacher Of human brotherhood Ram S
Horn.
Habit is garment easily put on,
but when il is worn threadbare it can
not be put off fas easily.-Ram's Horn.
1t is only fair that when patient
has faith in doctor, the doctor should
treat the Observation-Disclosures Rec
ord.
My wife reads a great deal of
poetry" remarked Washington min
lister. You have quite literary house
hold then" Yes; she's poetic and
I'm prosy. Washington Star.
-McSwatters-"Y say that he's
ters-"Why, man, he can't get his
poems published anywhere, but in the
gazinesp'-Syracuse Journal.
-"John," 1aid his wife. what are
you doing?" Figuring" he replied.
Figuring on what?' ION which we
can better afford to do--buy coal or use
the parlor furniture for fuel."-Wash-
ington Star.
II don't believe the world goes
round so fast all the time" said Jack
to his teacher. "And I'll tell you why.
jumped up in the air yesterday, ard
il didn't slide from under me Bit
Harper's Bazaar.
Piano Progress. uggs-"So your
daughter is taking piano lessons?''
Buggs-''Yes." Snuggs-"Is she doing
much with it?" Buggs-''oh, yes; she's
driven all the neig hbors into the other
end of town."-Detroit Free Press.
-Tommy's Mother-"Pshaw Tom
my! You oughtn't to have been fright
ened because the yacht rocked little.
Look at little Cousin Nellie; she wasn't
scared a bit" Tommy-"No wonder.
She had me there to look after her"
-'You are on speaking terms again
with you next door height Dor" Mrs.
Hustler-"Yes." Il suppose she saw
that she was wrong and" mo, she
saw some of my new samples and for
got al about the trouble. - Inter
Ocean.
Teacher (hcaring arithmetic class
recite)-"Mike, If you should see seven
birds on tree, and should shoot
three of them, how many birds would
RENAME" Mile-"Nary one, mum: the
rest o. them would be afther flynn
away. boston Courier.
I'm Brooklyn the other day." said
man, ~ saw something that | had
never seen before, and that was a
vender selling live chickens. lie had
them in crates on wagon, and he
cried them just as he might have cried
anything else: Chickens! Live chick
ems
"A Question of Time Young Spoon
amore Hooking at his watch -"Dear
me, it's nearly eleven o'clocki didn't
think IL was 81 late. Did you?" Miss
lphigenia theoretically suppressing a
yawn)-"No, indeed. 1t seemed to me
about twenty-one hours earlier Chi
cago Tribune.
Angelina (anxiously)-" you
sure, dear, that you don't regret it, and
that you don't sometimes miss your life
as bachelor" Edwin with cheerful
conviction)-"Not a bit. | tell you
what, Angy, miss It so little that if
were To lose you-a-Im blessed il
couldn't marry again. '-Tit-Bits.
MIR. Simpson-"Willie, why didn't
you take off your hat to your aunt
when you passed her?" Willie Simp-
son-"Because. pa / was over to her
house yesterday, and she wouldn't give
me a piece of pie" Mr.. Simpson
Then you should be doubly polite to
her, Willie, for having saved your life. +"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09

movement he would undoubtedly shoot
me The worst of it was that my
strength seemed to be gone. felt a
sudden drowsiness and could only stare
into that mans eyes. / remember that
he had cast in one of them. and think
ing that he would be quite good look
ing if his beard was trimmed in point.
All this time the man was raging and
swearing and threatening NV life.
Suddenly there was a sound down
stairs rs II something had been thrown
against the front door My adversary
turned As he did SO ! made a quick
movement and pinioned him. He was
a powerful fellow but got him under
Meath In the struggle the pistol went
off, the bullet striking the ceiling.
knocked the man down. gave him
blow on the head. enough to have set
tied an on. then picking up his key
rushed downstairs, unlocked the door
but forgot the key and left it in the
lock. The street was full of people
but did not dare 10 ask for assistance
from any of them My hat was gone.
my clothes torn IA the struggle. but
went on several squares looking for a
policeman. Not ono came in sight I'M
til found myself on the Bowery.
'' Come with me- said to the first
one met
Where to?' he inquired.
Come. come. I said. breathlesSly
lie looked at my wild condition and
evidently Thought that I was either
crazy or drunk. but he came. while |
told him as best could. about my ad
venture. he seeming very skeptieal
'AftoT making several turns | found
myself hOpelessly lost. couldn't find
the place. The policeman was about
10 take me in charge as a dangerous
lunatic when caught sight of the lit
tie bakers shop. We turned into the
alley and went into the empty house
The door was locked and the key was
gone.
The baker will know about it, sa id
the policeman.
We went into the little shop and
found a fat. hone>t-loOhing German.
Who lives in the empty houseY
asked
80 That house belongs to me. Il is
empty. No one lives there now. A
good man-pajd in advance. He came
IN just little while ago and said he
didn't want IT. aud brought back the
KEY. lie was a good man aud paid in
advance
The policeman told him the story
and he was Mortified Taking the key
he went with rs "a the house. TWAS
dark and stuffv inside as If the house
had not been opened for weeks. We
went upstairs 70 the back room. I must
confess 10 tremor aS we opened the
door. ] struck match and lit the half
burned candle on the table The room
was inst as I had left IT, There was
my tat on the table. the bullet hole in
the wall. but the valise and the red
haired man were gone!
While the policeman was examining
the room ! sat down on the chair over
come by that strange sensation of ex-
haustion. Death seemed To be in the
atmosphere Of the place. aud believe
that il was the effects OF the cigar
which had been given me. that it had
been poisoned.
The policeman aud the baker made
thorough search but could discern no
elew. The rest of the house was vacant,
and evidently no other room had ever
been occupied. IL was the mans inten
tion to lure me TO this place merely to
get my signature. and. evidently. 10
make away with me afterwards.
The policeman reused me from my
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
FAMOUS FlGURE-HEADs.
RecoIIections OF Rush and His Artistic
rrows.

William Rush's father was a ship
carpenter, and from his youth the son
was fond of ships Often when boy
he would cut out m mature vessels
from blocks of wood and exercise his
artistic talent in drawing upon boards
figures in chalk and paints. When he
commenced work in this country there
was no demand for the productions of
native sculptors; consequently to make
living Rush was obliged TO carve
prowheads for vessels, then in common
use BY 1900 he had attained consid-
cradle reputation as a sculptor and
carver i'm wood, and time matured
his talents. At an early date in
his career his fgure-head Slogan to
be noticed in foreign ports. The figure
of an Indian trader on the ship Will
liam Penn was much admired in Lon
don. The wood carvers there, it is re-
ported. would come in boats and lie near
the ship To sketch the designs of the
hgure-head. This was but few after
the revolutionary war. Another year
nota BILE provincial which Rush carved
was the figure of river god for the
ship Gauges 20 well known abroad
did his work at last become that the
house of Nicl1lin & Griffith, Of Phila-
delphia, received many orders from
England for figure-heads to be made
by Rush 70 adorn ships built on the
other side of the Atlantic. One OF the
most celebrated of these carvings was
female figure Of commerce.-Lippin-
rntf+S
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09

The use of the bicycle for military
purposes, after having developed with
great rapidity in France, has suddenly
received check. Gen. Loizillon. the
minister Of war, has, it appears, little
faith in it. He has issued an order that
the cyclist corps are only to be used on
prepared ground.
In time of war, he says, their use,
even if no account is taken of the
liability of the machines TO break, is
likely to cause serious miscalculations,
and they can only rarely be substituted
for men on horseback. The cyclists
henceforth, therefore, or until some
successor to Gen. Lorizillon more favor
able to them is appointed, will be re-
served, by his instructions, for garri-
son duty, for the great maneuvers, and
in time of war for certain easy COM
municstions at the rear of the forces.
London News
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09

The story IS an old one that an ostrich
will stick his head in hole in the
sand when he is being pursued and
then because he can't see his pursuer
will labor under the delusion that his
pursuer can't see him. But this story
is base libel on the ostrich, although
when his head is once covered up al
most anything can be done with him.
During the plueking season the ostrich.
with bag over his head, viii stand
perfectly still while all his beautiful
feathers are taken away, and so when
they are moved their heads are always
covered. and they remain perfectly do
cile while in transit But after one of
these periods OF confinement they gen.
orally show some vindictiveness Chi
eago Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
Are You Going South This Winter.

If so, make your arrangements 10 go via
the Big Fouc Route. Whether in pursuit OF
health or pleasure, no portion Of the country
offers so many and varied attractions at
this season as the Sunny South. The Orange
Groves Of Florida, refolent with the per-
fume OF sweet blossoms wave their branch
es in hearty welcome 10 the tourist from
the Snow-clad Northland and the mellow
breezes of the Southern Sea woo the Invalid
from the Billiards of the Frozen North.
There is one liue TO Florida, ''The Big -Four
Route" which on account of its excellent
tram service, perfect connections IN Union
Depots and absence of transfers, forms the
Tourists Ideal Line 10 Florida . From all
points north of the Ohio River the b Z -Four
Route. in connection with the Through Car
Lines from Cincinnati, will be found TO offer
the Best Time, Best Service and Best
Equipment TO all Southern Points, and II
you desire to travel with comfort and ease
be sure your tickets read via the Big Four
Route.
E o. MCCORMICK, ID. r. MARTIN,
Pass'r Traffic Mgr. Gen'l Pass'r ACT,
Cincinnati, o.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
7@@
RUN INTO MATRlMONY.
A Young Man Wooed, Won and Wed BE
fore He Knew 1t.

tore TIE hneW HI.
A slim-built young man in clothes OF
q belligerent cut walked timidly into
the marriage license Office the other
day. lie was followed closely by a
resolute- looking young woman in holt
day attire.
The young man glanced around sus-
piciously for an instant and then
reached for the clerks ear. Ills com
panion assumed an air of unoStenta-
tious preoccupation, turned her back
and gazed far away at n corner of a
ceiling, but she was careful to keep
between her companion and the door
SSH" Kissed the young fellow,
bending far over the counter in his eff.
fort to prevent his companion over
hearing anything. SSH, say, can't we
duck out of sight somewhere? Ssh,
don't shout"
The clerk shook his head.
The stranger continued his cautious
whisper. Say he said. ssh, I'm in
hole, see? It's agin me to hitch TO
that she-devil. see? How can / jump
the game, eh?"
The clerk shook his head. There are
courts all about here" he suggested;
try EN-"
The stranger bent closer
SAY" he continued, with an appre-
hensive glance at the back of his com
panion, she'll land me dead to rights
if you don't give me lift. She's swore
to give me divorce after we're hitched,
but what good'll that do, eh?" he con-
cluded mournfully.
The clerk remained silent,
Say" went on the visitor in plead
ing tones, 't'row her out, and I'll fix it
with you. Run her in; do anything;
anything goes"
The clerk shook his head.
Say" suddenly exclaimed the wom-
an. wheeling about resolutely. "what
game err you putin up on me now?
Scratch out that license lively"
This here mans been keeping com
psny with me for two years, and he's
got TO do some lively marryin' now. an
don't you forget it. Scratch along live
IL! His names Monroe l..
Westmure--an' he lives at go Jessie
street, an he's twenty-six years old, m
my names Cora-C-o-r-a, Cora-Gale. "
houEOc DuhL iht II L ever
knew that before"
You'll learn lots when you've mar
ried me" was the answer, given with
calm superiority.
an sometimes they call him West;
n sometimes they call him Tommy
White. Put 'em all in. If you want to,
and charge the bill TO his nibs here"
The clerk made out his bill and This
nibs" paid it with sigh.
"N' now start us for the nearest
justice, an well get nearer marriage
N this fellows been since he was born. -
They were started, and ten minutes
later they emerged happy, beaming
bride and woeful, disconsolate groom
San Francisco Examiner.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-11-09
WAYS OF TIE WICKED.

A HoRsETHIEF in Bloomsbury, Pa,
was pursued and captured by police
men mounted on bicycles
THERE are some very mean thieves in
bayfield,. Wis. They steal gravestones
from the cemetery.
A MAN in Monroe county, o., has been
kicking himself for some time past. He
became frightened about the safety of
the savings banks and drew out all the
money he had-s1, 800. A burglar stole
the money, and the timid fellow holds
only an empty bag
AFTER returning hcme from a party
Mr.. and Mrs. Philor King. Of Delavan,
Wis, were startled by a rap at the
door. When it had been opened three
masked men rushed In and forced her
10 surrender diamonds to the value OF
81 900, which she had worn at the party.