Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-12-15
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Observed of all observers-The look
ing-glass. Halo.
Struggles with the dentist generally
end in draw. Halo.
''He is your closest friend?" eyes,
he never lends cent. Harvard Lam
poon.
Fly paper is gradually being with
drawn from circulation. - Pittsburg
Chronicle.
Yachts take spins to show whether
they are tip-top or not. Boston
Transcript.
Nearly every boy determines to whip
a certain school teacher when he grows
up. -Atchison Globe.
Belief can't bear to think of my
thirtieth birthday" Alice-''Why,
,dear-what happened?"-V
When you can think of nothing but
the weather to talk about it is good
time to keep quiet. .-Atchison Globe.
1t is noticeable that the man who
thinks he is whole show by himself
seldom draws Il crowd.-Milwaukee
journal.
There is some consolation in being
bachelor when you hear a woman talk
fifteen minutes without taking o
full breath. Halo.
Money on call is not to had; that
is, not on one call. 1t takes many,
and then you don't always get it
Martha's Vineyard Herald.
. NJ,
to marry" Miss Sateful--"But you
know it is the impossible that always
}happens. Boston Transcript
II guess I'll quit, " said the boy who
was scraping perch at a market fish
stand. 'Im tired of doing business on
such small scale. " Washington Star.
'Tis now the heartless iceman,
With never the least ado,
Leaves on the steps piece of lee
That will chill the whole house through.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
A boarder has good reason for sus
,pecting his landlady of hypocrisy when
,she advises him to eat sparingly if he
wishes to be healthy. New York Jour
NAL.
"Painter Schmierlein's representa-
Etions of tropical life are so realistic
THAT any critic who examines them too
Hong is sure to be afflicted with sun
'strolle "-Schalk.
''My son, if you think it is hard
work to get up in the world, just try
to raise n mustache and you will find
Infinitely more difficult to get down.
i-Elmira Gazette.
Teacher Ito class in addition)-
''Now, take two mince pies and four
mince pies, what does it make?"
Johnny Longhead = nightmare,
ma'am. New York Journal.
Young Mani want an engage
ment ring" Jeweler - eyes, sir.
About what size?" 81 don't know ex-
actly, but she can twist me round her
finger, if that's any guide. "-Tit-Bits.
''While the lamp holds out to burn
Which line an old song does begin,
In these electric days should read
while yet the dynamo does spin"
Buffalo Courier.
What are you crying for, Fritz?"
because my brothers have holiday
and / haven't. " ''But why haven't You
holiday. too?" ''Because I'm not
,old enough to go to school yet. Pile
gende Blaetter.
Bright-''By dividing your detec-
tives into two squads you'd accom-
,plish a great deal more" Burns
s'What would | do that for?" Bright
$50 one-half could hunt clews while
the other went after criminals. -.
Vogue.
Tommy (who las been studying with
sbut poor success e)-"Pop, my teacher
says history repeats itself; does it?"
Tommy's Father - Eyes, my boy,
sometimes" Tommy We'll, I wish
mine would repeat itself, cause. ]
cant -Philadelphia Record. d,
The Professors Daughter ooh,
papa, here is the sweetest little bird,
that one of the boys caught in the
yard. ] would so like to keep it for
pet, if | only knew what it eats The
Professor Eve can
find that out easily enough. I'll cut
it open aud examine its crop. '--1ndi-
journal.