The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-08-09
SARGE PLuNKETT.
The Old Man Goes ON Short visiG to the
Worlds Fair.
Atlanta Consultation.

T heard SO much of the World Fair
that I felt obliged to go, and l went.
Chicago got me hacked when | was
there before, but it WASH t nothing
then to what it is now. 1t took me
all my time in daylight to make pre-
parations for the night time: l
thought it the smart thing to do to
find place to board the first thing. l
wanted to find Bill Mickelberry.
Some Atlanta friends told me to look
Bill up the first thing and he would
see me through, and they give me q
letter with his address so that l would
have no trouble, but [ did have trou-
BILE, and haven t seed the gentleman
yeti lost the address.
I landed in Chicago at half-past 9
o'clock in the morning, and walked
out of the car-shed with a proud step.
1 at once begun trying to make some
acquaintances. For two hours / walk
ed and walked, and bowed and said
chow are you''l to every fellow I met.
They paid no more attention to my
sshowdies'' than if I had been dog,
but just rushed on like / had never
been there. At the end of the two
hours I give it up. My tongus was
hanging out from thirst and the heat
was about to kill me. Ny friends in
Georgia told me to be mighty careful
about going into houses; it was dan
gerous, they said, but into a house |
must go or die in the street. 1t was a
beer saloon, of course. There is moth
ing else there that stranger can find,
and, in justice, I must say they treat
you with more consideration thar any
where else. Leastwise, it was the only
place in the State Of Illinois that they
would let me sit down. They won't
let you rest on curbstone, nor q log,
nor nothing else up there. tried it,
and I wouldn't more than get down
and my carpet sack fixed between my
legs, till policeman would sqaeal:
"Move up there Get move on you,
old mani till they had about moved
me to death. In the saloon | took a
chair by a little table and it wasn't
more than a minute till waiter came
and asked what I would have.
"Water, waterr' said l.
The waiter was surprised that any.
body in Chicago would want wates and
he'whispered to the fellow behind the
bar and they laughed. But, anyhow,
they gave me some water, and the man
behind the bar came over and took
seat with me.
aStranger in the city?' said he.
eyes
"Where are you from Z"
Georgia.
Georgia, Georgia? In this State p
said the fellow, looking puzzled.
This sorter stirred me up, for thinks
l., if this fellow don't know where
Georgia is he must be mighty green,
so l sailed in to inform him that
Georgia was great and grand old
State, that I was from there and that
I wanted. to find Bill Mickelberry.
BeforeI had time to pass any more
words with this gentleman he was
called away to wait upon customers,
while I proceeded to make the acqussint-
ance Of every fellow who came near
me.
It don't take acquaintances lorg to
accumulate if you strike the right
channel. I had struck it, and pretty
soon I was one Of alarge crowd who
all seemed more than willing to discuss
the virtues of their respective States.
I felt q little cowed as one after the
other related what great industries
thrived and what great products were
common to this, that and the other
State. How I did wish that George
Truitt was there with ne, to tell them
about the wonderful growth Of cotton
down in Georgia. George wasn't
there, and all the crowd had come
round to the place where they waited
and looked as if they expected some
thing from me. I wasn't to sit there
and not hold old Georgia up, and so,
as the 'schooners' were filled again,
1 squared myself for the onset, and
poured it into them about thusly:
''Speaking about corn" said I, rs |
cleared my throat and turned toward
six-foot Missourian who had been
relating about it being common for
land in his State to yield from $50 to
200 bushels per acre. "Corn is not
raised in my settlement down in Geor-
gia.
Just here the walters disturbed us
by crowding the beer upon the tables,
and I was glad Of it, for it give me
chance to sorter collect my thoughts
and wet my throat, as well as to
"nerve up so that my old State would
not fall behind. I went on again alter
few sips of the beer.
"You see, gentlemen, the grand old
State Of Georgia has progressed to such
an extent in the matter Of railroad
mileage, together with its network: OF
electric car lines, that it makes it
almost out of the question to raise
corn in the State, and especially in
my settlement-close to Atlanta--it
would be dangerous.
AS I stopped here to take another
sip Of beer, the whole crowd moved up
nearer to me and / could see that they
seemed puzzled to understand what
railroads had to do with the raising of
corn.
"You see," went on, ''corn grows
SO high and large that it falls across
the tracks and blocks things the same
as if it was trees. ~
:, A fellow in the crowd, from the
State of Texas, gave long sigh as |
closed my remarks and this caused me
to go on and and tell them about as
how it was recently that the old Geor-
gia railroad, from Atlanta to Augusta,
had to suspend operations for three
days to get the pumpkins moved out
of the cuts and off from the tracks.
Even squashes have been known to
block a railroad in one nights growth
on the soil Of Georgia, and water
melons, it's getting so it won't dc to
fool with them at all.
There was silence for a moment
after I had closed, when the long
Missourian called for the beer, remark
ing: ''I thought was good one