The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-10-08

n.i relative must smoke two-for-five
cigars so as TO meet the book Dill.

M, relative must smoke two-for-five
cigars so as TO meet the book DILL
MA you ever attend what Is called a De-
,,nt,Ion Party? They are sources of |
much amusement. as we'll az extensive |
Invocation. Well. / attended one for /
thn arst time enc evcning last week. The |
thing vas n novelty TO me, SO for the
henoftt ~ those who never took in
a aDsftnition Party this Is the way II |
is conducted: The guests are seated I'm |
a long line OF chairs. the ladies and gen.
uemen alternating. a Feries Of wordi or |
expressions, are propouhded TO them, |
and the lady and gentleman who return |
the clevorest answers In writing go in to |
sumner together. the second best together |
ana so on through the list. This is the best |
way ~ arranging matters; for then the |
clever couples are paired off. and so with |
the obtuse couples, thereby establishing |
n hann,, coneenIality all round. The place |
succeeds FAR better than assigning a gem
tlemar who has made speciality OF the
'bread and butter sciences to an accom-
pllshei musician. or typical moder
blue stocking. Wen, was seated next
IN woman whom / thought had never
read anything more thai' rreheh men"
or a fashion hint. But things are not al
x.,.,,e a. thev seem, and neither are wom-
on. fo- ,yould Won believe IT, this self
sam v,ornan sat at the head Of the table,
with the cleverest man, Wnlle, as TOT me-
sat az the foot with society de5utahte
.-bo returned an answere unworthy or re-
titon.
The lady at the head OF the list was
given the slang phrase Getting Down
To It~ 10 define "CoaNing mustache,
vvos ber answer. She got the third place
which the answer, "A cap when wanted
r.as e,,,on the fourth place. The second
r. ace vyes assigned 70 the gentleman who
Saa~aa - evreu affair" as Dried apples
ga voter" while the LADY to whom l
49, roforrod became the toast Of the
evening on her definition OF the word
kiss" The definition was quite long
ono she scratched II or upon the spur
~ the moment, however, and dropped
the paper I'm the box AS near as can
recoliect It read as follows; Ihe KISS
IS a species OF when there are seEel"i
,,,rIetfea according 10 circumstances
Eirst there is the kids kiss, Wilich'
r,incles with sticky remnants OF candy,
oonetete or n clearly audible smack, IN
accomnanled by the embrace, and usuail|
followed bv a coy glance, and a certau
constituencies when leased about the tea.
Then. there is the kiss OF marrleu OO"pe"'
totally mechanical. like chewing TOM
and often unconsciously executed through
force OF habit. Still another, In when
the participants are both females ihis
is by far the most common tor' ~ sup
posed to be- and means nothing more
nor loss than-'T do not hate you"
put the most INTERESTING variety or the
sracies "a that I'm which young men and
their respective idols are said to indulge
only rarely. however. and under peculiar
conditions This is allowed tor. Is be-
lleved TO bel only the favored one; but II
has been whispered that IN some fashion-
able localities cases have been KNOWN
where there were the favored two. ana
even the favored three. The variety "
question is the only one which IL no,
performed publicly. 1T should be con
fined to the presence or the actual partic-
ipants. and never repeated twice during the
same evening. IL Is like evaporation, a
cooiino, nrocess and IT has been stated,
| someyyhat correctly. that young man
never cares so much for his Venus atter
- bos ktssed her THIS is question OF
| oninion. but when one considers mans
| necullar constitution, ne Is inclined 10 be-
neye IL. Men are restlessly unhappy 10
| possess n thing they soon toss aside IKE
| a child its toy. So with the kiss. When
| once INDUCED in, the interest nags' ana
|
| There IS still another variety In when
| tho narticipants are both men. But,
| really. this Is too ridiculous to consider.
| Everybody has deal OF sympathy for
| the moor little page boy who sat like pa
| tience on monument smiling at grief.
| BDt few casual observers have practi-
| cal knowledge Of what that means. Ihere
| Is no one who can appreciate IL more
| thoroughly than a certain acquaintance
| NJ mine who keeps n drugstore on west
/ Main street not thousand miles rom
| Laurel. 1 recently called at his "Healt
| Restorer" and was surprshed TO see on
/ the door in flaming letters sign 10 TINS
| effect: do Not Ring The Night-Bell For
| Stamps." This put me to thinking. /
| wondered II any customer could have the
| cheek TO ring up the druggist, and spoil
| his peaceful slumber TO get on a letter on
| the 1910 A. NJ mail. l became lnquisl-
tive what do you mean by that signF
| | asked
well" said the apothecary mixing
| some never falling powders, "a rev
| nights ago, when the thermometer got
on a log. and came near falling down on
the pavement, was sleeping very snugly
| under two blankets for the INST lihe
since 7 Maid nv ice bill. The clock had
| fust tolled once. The night-beh rang
loud enough 10 wake up everybody for
block around Somebody's got the crainp
collie said to myself and In one minute
bv the clock l had on my trousers ana
slippers. and stood shivering before a
customer. Whiskey and ginger? / asked
reaching for these remedies on the top
shelf, and totally unmndful OF the fact
that my outfit was not suitable for ap-
| pearance before the fair sex.
Hold on said a young woman sun
holding the arm OF her husband uoh
want any medicine. / want to send OF
this letter tonight, and let mother Know
that our baby's got tooth; won't you let
me have a stamp?
You could have knocked me down with
| a feather. OF course I'm willing TO DO
| anything to announce the welfare OF the
babies, but there's limit TO everything.
YOUR UNCLE FULLER.