Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-12-18
JUST FOR FUN.

was many are colu pub lew
are frozen.
In some of the cyclone blowing
States of the West the people are
afraid to have a high school.
Maybe the tree turns red because
losing their summer dresses they
haven't any more just now in their
trunks.
What's your congressman doing in
Washington? He's a DRAWN of his sal
airy. Nothin else? Yes, he's a BLOWN
of it in.
Her Adorer.-May I marry your
daughter? Her Father (dejectedly)-
[ don't know. Ask the cook; she
runs the house.
Professor-For anatomical reasons
women cannot stand as long as men.
Young LADY, guess you " saw a
woman having a dress fitted.
DON'T suffer with indigestion, use Baxter's
Mandrake Bitters.
Do you love me? said the paper bag
to the sugar. Pm just wrapped up in
you rOpl10u Uu0 sugar. IOu OWOOo
thing murmured the paper bag.
Hardly any money in circulation in
America? said Nine. Patti, pleasant
ly. That will never do. I must run
over for another farewell tour.
Wright = Those + pretty tough
looking patent leather shoes you have
on. Garner-They were all right orig
inally, but the patent has expired.
I was a sufferer from catarrh fer fifteen
years, with distressing pain over my eyes, l
used Ely's Cream Balm with gratifying re-
suits. Am apparently cured.-Z. G. Warner,
Rutland, VT.
Harry, I want you to come in now
and amuse the baby. Harry, (aged
fve)-You'n have to excuse me, moth
err; Pm not in the low comedy line.
A young man never thoroughly ap-
preciates what big hands he has and
how clumsy his fingers are until his
young lady asks him to button her
glove.
Visitor-So your brother is taking
lessons on the violin. Is he making
progress? Little Girl-Yes'm; he's got
ing or playing.
Hickox's Shorthand School, Copley Square,
Boston, has the unparalleled record OF having
placed every GRADUATE during the past three
years in a position, at a stating salary Of not
less than $40 a week.
Anxious Husband-I am afraid doc
tor, my wife is a very sick woman.
She hasn't spoken a word all day.
Doctor = Then you don't need me.
You want the undertaken.
Johnnie-Mamma, this book says
knowledge is power. Mamma-And
it is my child. Johnny-No, mamma,
it isn't. I know there is a pie in the
pantry, but 1 can't get at it.
I don't suppose this business de-
preston affects you tramps much,
said the philanthropist. Yes it does,
retorted the tramp. The quality Of
the food we get these days is some
thin awful.
can't be your sister, because [ am
a sister to SO many brothers now, but
I can be your aunty, she said as she
gently dropped him. Make it a grand
mother, he answered grimly, and she
spurned him forever.
See here! o Pm a quare mon, on I
want to do right by everyone, but
there is one ting, and that is, if yez
don't quit akin me for money 1 Dor
rowed, be the powers Ill forgit yeZ
liver lint it to me.
Deans Rheumatic Pills absolutely cure
heumati & Neuralgia. Entirely vegeta-
BILE. Safe.
Tommy, said Mr.. Eastsider to his
mendacious on, I can read in your
eyes that you are lying. But pa, re-
piled the youth, you haven't got your
glasses on, and you know you can't
read worth a cent without glasses.
Mrs. Snarl-The papers say that rus
set shoes are going out of fashion.
Mr.. Snarl (who has two pairs on hand)
Huh! That's the way things go in
this country. Ill bet the Italian boot
backing monopoly has subsidized the
press.
See here, exclaimed the red headed
woman in wrath, if you amt out of
this yard in ten minutes I declare I'll
run this umbrella down your throat
and open it. There amt a bit of use
of that, mum, replied Dismal Dawson;
anybody that's as dry inside as / am
amt needin' no umbrella in him.
Children Cry for