The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1893-07-05

old far away tick that he is &C.
customed to, so he begins to hunt
for the little wanderer, does not
find it in his ear, but does find it in
time, and again; "persev RS"
according to directions. After
several fruitless attempts to get
the things properly placed,
arms aching his ear feeling as
though it had grown to four times
its usual size and as sore as gum
boil, he concludes that he must
either call Mrs. F., to his assiss-
lance or abandon she experiment
but no a happy thought strikes
him, he will get the looking-glass
which be does and works with all
his might, he turnes his head and
rolls his eyes this way and that
until he is completely exhausted
when he throws himself back i'm
his chair while his great desire to
hear rapidly fades away; he repents
of the whole thing and wishes he
had not tried the "pesty things"
but the directions say presevere
and trys again, taking extra care
and is rewarded by getting the
thing into his ear he pushes it up
and in little farther but still he
notices no change in his hearing
so sends it up still farther until
it strikes something that makes
his head feel as though bomb had
exploded in or very near it. He
thought he used to have the ear
ache when "kid," but it was
nothing when compared to tits,
He must have the thing out, and
after "clawing" about in vain with
his fingers he then thinks of the
little frcips which he eagerly seizes
and tries to reach the little treasure
that cost him so much money and
pain and which he would not be
without for the world, but just now
would like to be very much without
if he could. His ear is very much
irritated as well as his temperate is
tired and nervous, he thinks very
bad thoughts about the inventor
of the things and if he does not
wish him where it is everlasting
sunshine he does wish him in some
country where they do not run a
newspaper and advertise for
suckers.
Mrs. F., hears some suppressed
signs and perhaps some remarks not
intended to be heard and enters
the room to see how dear John is
getting on. The children creep
slyly in to see if Pop can hear yet;
"Do you hear now Mr.. Foggerty,
and are they all you would have
them be?
Hear? Well yes I hear too
much and too well and feel more
now if could only let some poor
fellow have them, l think / am
cured. l am so glad who would
thought it.
"Here woman can't you see ]
am in torture? l want this thing
out of my head, shall die if don't
get it out soon, O-o-o-o"
"What is it dear, can help you !
Could l not take the lamp and get
it out?
"Take the lamp and get it out !!
What has the lamp got to do with
it? You don't propose to organ.
nize search party and explore my
ear do you? No madam my ears
are large / confess and are growing
very fast but I guess 1 can not
accommodate you just now, you
may retire, (Which she does and
Mr.. F., soliloquzes thus) off l ever
make such another donkey of my
self as 1 have this time little wife
III be blowed if my ears won't bt
big enough for your proposed
exploration. "In the mean time b!
dilligent prodding and fishing afteI
his almost lost treasure he succeed
ed in getting il out, when he put
it away with the rest of the i'm
pliments fully resolved to let wei
enough alone next time, and no
believe every thing he reads in tn,
news papers.
AS the mercury runs up to the 81
mark, hot weather jokes come int,
, season. This is said to haye hap.
pened at Maryville hotel. A
guest was sweltering in his room
recently and sent down for a pitcher
of ice water. Directly up came
mind host. his countenance 8
picture of astcnishmen: "Why,'
! said boniface, ''you say you want
ice? Now, whoever heard OF ice in