davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1893-06-27
SHARP JEWISH WIT.
Anecdotes Which Show That the Hebrew
Can Appreciate Joke.


Can Appreciate Joke.
A striking commentary was re-
Gently made by a Russian Jew on the
judicial corruption which stains his
country. lie passed the law courts In
one Of the cities Of the empire and no.
ticed a fine statue placed in front OF
the building.
Whom does this statue representa-"
he inquired Of passer-by. "Why, JUS
tice, of course" "IIow sad, f" exclaimed
the jew, heaving a profound sigh, that
Justice should be relegAted TO the out
side of the editice and be altogether ex-
cluded from admission withinl"
Death is the best physician" said "a
willing to his medical attendant, who
had been somewhat too assiduous In his
professional visits "Why sop asked
the doctor Because he only pays one
VISIT
A dialogue overheard at the stock
exchange on frosty winters day:
"Mr. Moses, what would you advise me
TO buy to-day" Thermometers. OF
course; they are very low at present,
and are sure 10 rise"
A Mr.. Goldsmith became a convert TO
Christianity. He thought II advisable
70 adopt a name with more Gentle
ring. and dubbed himself Mr. Smith.
"What fooll" exclaimed member OF
the congregation on hearing of the
change; this is the first jew who has
thrown away his gold"
At festive banquet representatives
of the Protestant, Catholic and Jewish
clergy had been invited. and were en-.
gagged in pleasant converse. The rabbi,
faithful to the dietary precepts of his
religion, partook of only q few of the
dishes. An appetizing Joint Of roast
pork was set on the table. The Catho'
lie priest turned 10 his neighbor and
asked; when viii the time some that
/ may have the privilege of serving you
with a slice OF this delicious meat9"
"When have the qualification of as
slsting at your reverence's wedding"
the rabbi reJoined with a courteous
bow,-Rabbi Adler, In Fortnightly Re-
view
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1893-06-27
Highest Of all in Leavenng PowerLatest u S Govt Report
ROYAL B Bs.til,s'!
ABSOLUTELY PURE

don't blame her, do you) and at the end
OF the ten years we knew no more about
her affairs than we did at the end of
the first. Fenwick, the elder boy, was
telegraph operator and was well liked
by the young people. lie was hand
some youth of twenty-one Ada and
Archer were still at school. We never
heard the children speak Of their father,
though we asked them several times
when he was coming home or how long
he'd been dead. Our curiosity began TO
die out at the end Of the fifth year but
still we surmised great deal.
We invited Mrs Croswald to teas and
bees and circles, but she kept the man
tie Of dignity wrapped so tightly around
her that ! took very little real pleasure
from her company, the few times she ac-
cepted One day my husband brought
home paper, and during the evening
startled me by reading the notice of a
new invention. 1.-The patentee, Mrs.
Emily Croswald, has concluded not to
sell the right, as was at first reported.
Mr. Croswald will conduct the sales.
We Join their friends in wishing them
success"
'Mr. Croswaldl Mr.. Croswaldl Why
e-e-, Tom, where he has been all these
years?" / exclaimed, taking the paper
TO read the notice for myself Fifty
thousand dollarsl Why, Toni How
wish could patent something" Then
went to the window and saw the quiet
woman contentedly swaying to and fro
In a rocker on the opposite porch.
fell 70 wondering what Mrs. Oscar
ly would say when she found out there
was man In the case. While | stood
at the window FenwiclS came from
school and handed his mother a letter
Now comes the story part of this
story. Mr.. Croswald had been unjustly
accused of forgery, but had no visible
way 10 prove his innocence. The Of
Tense had occurred In Pennsylvania
and he had passed ten years Of his life
In the state prison there. The real Gull
prit, dying, had confessed his sin,
and the letter which | saw Fenwick
hand his mother contained the tidings
of Mr.. Croswald's release. A week
later he appeared, and "a the tall, fine
looking man entered the gate saw his
form tremble with emotion. The chill
dren ran 10 meet him, but his eyes
looked beyond them 10 the figure In the
doorway. God bless her! God bless
herr" he cried. taking e child by either
hand and leaping up the steps. Mrs.
Croswald told me all about the trouble,
and my tears mingled with hers as
listened. Gradually the reserve left
her and she became blithe as a'bird.
have learned good lesson from know
ing her that never learned from the
good book-"Love thy neighbor as thy
elf."-Lephis NJ Bryant In Chicago
Inter Ocean.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1893-06-27
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

--Jack-''Seen my tobacco pouch any
where, Dora?" Dora-"Oh, don't say
you want it I've just done 1t up in my
back hair as pad "-Slopers
Docs Minton expect to get any.
thing when he marries Scadds' daugh-
ter2" "Yes, breach Of promise suit
from another girl Inter Ocean
-"Who was Louis XIV. OF FranceP
asked the teacher. ~ know" said lit
tie Miss Fifthave; The was the man
who made all our chairs Vogue
AT Parting. -IIe-"And what would
you do, meIn Fraulein, II were To steal
a kiss from you2" She-"Dear me. how
can tell observation-disclosures Schreib-
Kalender.
Another Alexander. He There
Is but one thing that mars my happi.
ness" She-"What is that9" lIe-"ro
think that cannot marry all the girla
who love me. Truth
WHAT Smoking. FredY ThouRht
your doctor told you II would kin
your 80 he did and quit Hut ~
the end OF a week | wanted 10 die, 10
Pm smOlSing again. Life
Mrs Hicks--"What made your cook
lcav ? You did all you could 10 make her
contrnted" Mrs Dlx-"l should say
did. even asked 10 have our police
mon transferred IN. Y, Times
--Judge--"Why did you not return
the pocketbook you found on the same
EVENING"" Defendant-''lt was too
late" Judge-"Why, then. did you noe
deliver II Ia the Inorning2' Defendant
--''No usei nothing left In it"-Flle
gonde Batter
"A man aud his wife entered re,
taurant out la the country, and III,
former said 10 the waiter; ''What can
you let us hhye2' "Signorl there ID
only q single mutton chop left" per
Baccol Whatever 10 my wife 70 have foI
dinnerP'-ll Mossagiero
A Verbal Answer, -'Can l kiSl
your" he asked the Boston girl after
his proposal had been accepted IL do
not know whether you can or not, sho
replied, critically lie hesitated mo
menL "MaY kiss your he mnrmured
That's different" she responded, ane
he gathered them In
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1893-06-27

"A Cause for Grief Mother lat .
balD-"Are you enjoying yourself
dearT DauRhter-''No, Im not Z"
"What Is the natter" "rye refused
George six dances running, and he
doesn't seem miserable bit"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1893-06-27
:. VOLUME XV.-NUMBER 81.

TO-DAY the annual meeting
of the New York State League
Of Republican Clubs assemblies
,.s at Saratoga Springs.
The sessions will continue two
days. Colonel +. A. McAlpin,
President Of the Leaguccalls the
assembly to order and the meet
ing has attracted to the famous
watering place a great gathering
.of Empire State Republicans.
EX- Senator Thomas c. Plat
and Chauncey NJ. Depew will
be present at the meeting.
Everybody wiU be pres
ent at our store this
Weeb who appreciate
good, Genuine juicy Bar.
gains.
our centre tables and
SheLUeS are teeD1iRS WiH
them.
We are 0I,CayS LOWEST
IN price. Best IN quality
and FdireSt In tTeat-
D1ent.
Money taJkS, We re-
fund IL ,Chen customer
is dissatisfied.
CaAA1H@0
--..S..s, or NC, ,st0
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1893-06-27
An ObiIeina Man,

Some friends were talking about I'm.
prudence, audacity and boldness. One
told an incident that happened In an
adjoining county two or three years
ago.
young man had purchased bicycle
one of the high wheels then 80 com
mon-and was on the outskirts Of che
town learning 10 ride H. IL was nearly
dark and q stranger came along.
"lIow do you get alongP" asked tho
stranger
First rate, replied the young wheel
man; except that | can't mount very
readily"
Possibly | can show you how II
snould be done" politely ventured tho
stranger.
lie did 80, and mounted and dis
mounted several times, taking great
pains "a show the novice just how II
should be done. Then he mounted
again. after talking minute or two
about the beauty OF the bicycle, and
spun away down the road into the
darkness, The young fellow never
heard from him or the wheel again. -
Utica Observer.
"A Cause for Grief Mother lat .
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Bullion Items.

Mr.. L. Seigmund and bride have
returned from their tour through
Iowa.
Mrs, Bennett who is suffering
from q stroke of paralysis is slow
ly recovering.
The Bullion Literary society
has decided to give gu entertain
ment Christmas night.
Mrs. McGin of Iowa, is the
guest of her cousins Mr.. and Mrs.
Lon Seigmund.
We ara again called to mourn
The loss Of q friend. Edgar Me-
Kinney passed away Wednesday
morning of last week. He was
sick about three weeks, but DUR
ing that time WAS patient and mur-
m1red not. The remains were in
tered in the Bullion cemetery
Thursday. The funeral services
we're conducted by Prof. Proctor.
The large number of friends pres
ent ana the beautiful floral offer
ing sent by the Normal Faculty
are evidences of the high respect
in which he was held by all.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Resolutions Of Respect.

Resolutions adopted by the
faculty and students of the North
Missouri State Normal school as a
tribute of respect to the memory
of John Edgar Mckinney,
Whereas, 1t has pleased the ALL
wise Father to permit our fellow
student, John Edgar Mckinney,
to lay down his life and work
among Us, and to take up that
which has been prepared for him
where the Omniscient one shall
be his teacher, and the redeemed
of earth shall be his companions:
Resolved l: That, through all
the months of our daily intimacy,
we have come to recognize in HIM
the careful and conscientious STU
dent, the refined and courteous
gentleman; one to whom life
meant all that Is noble in charac-
ter ana sAalted IN achievement.
He has fallen upon the threshold
of a manhood Of promise and DOW
er.
Resolved 2: That to the sacred
circle of his own family and home,
upon whom the shadows of this
sad bereavement fall most darkiy,
we extent our earnest sympathy.
We would mingle our tears with
theirs, while we cherish for our.
selves and CONNIE d to all others,
the priceless legacy of his memo
ry and his example.
Resolved 3. That copy of these
resolution be presented to the
family of the deceased, and also
to each of the city papers for
publ cation.
G Il. LAUGHL1N,
g. W. PROCTOR, Com.
MARY ". PREwITT,
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Llbbs items.

Sauer Krout is ripe about this
time of the year.
Mike Wilson, of LaPlata, vas
IN town Tuesday.
Johnnie Gsrlock, who has been
sick WAS in town to-day.
The storekeepers report good
trade for the past few days.
Jep Moore is putting the finish
ing touches to Mr.. Treebe's house
Mr.. Min. Ridge, of Brashear,
was in town Sunday and Monday.
Mr.. Rsnz Cunning who has
been sick with pneumonia IS con-
yaiesoeut,
Our public school is prosparing
in the bands.of Miss Laura Me-
Dermit.
Uncle Moses johnson and Dave
Bricker are on the sick list this
week.
The corn crop is about harvest
cd and is not as good as reported
early in the fall,
Look out for a good entertain
ment by the Sunday school,
Christmas eve.
To-day is hog day and there
are good many farmers in town
delivering hogs at the stock
yards.
Mtssrs Gibbs d Boone snip
ped two cars of hogs to Keokuk
to-day for which they paid sc per
pound.
Why not organize company to
prospect for coal? Thare are in
dicatiops OF coal within three
miles of Gibbs.
The picture gallery is still il
town. If you want to Gee yourself
as others see you, go aid haye
your picture taken.
Mrs. VIM. Demoss and Mrs
Sherman Boone are visiting MIR
and Mrs. Frank Long, near Locust
Hill in Knox county.
Mrs. A. L. Gibbs has one of the
finest collection of flowers and
shrubs in the county. La tht
collection is a magnificent century
plant.
There is talk OF canning fac
tory here next year. This Ii
right and we hope that every bust
ness man and farmer will lend q
helping hand in the matter.
s. A. D. Murphy of Kirksville,
was in town on business Monday.
John McClanahan aud son, Clar-
ence, are repairing the bridge
across Bear creek on the LaPlata
road.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Normal Mound.

Miss Kate Miller, of Edna, is
visiting relatives In this vicinity.
Miss Ida Mcintyre closed o
successful tern, Of school at Paul
vile Friday.
Several of our Normal Mound
boys attended literary at Pleasant
View Thursday night.
Ernest Milstead started for
Humphreys Friday, where he
will spend few days with rela-
tives.
J. S. McCreerY and James Nc
Lntyre went quail hunting last
Saturday and had splendid luck
they shot twenty-five times and
killed two quails.
Several of our young people met
Friday night and organized
literary society TO meet every two
weeks. J. A. K.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Trustees Sale

Whereas, Neal Lutz and Fannie Lutz
his wife, by their certain deed OF
trust dated the II day of Nov 1892, and record
ed IN the recorders Office of Adair county,
at deed book V, page 2l0. conveyed to Thos
Dockery rs trustee all their right, title, in
terest, and e-'ate, in and 10 the following
described real estate situated in the county
OF AdaIr, state of n ssouri, viz
The east ha of the southeast quarter q
section eight en-, Is. township siXty-OLe, Gl
OF range fifteen, II, and south half Of the
north west quarter and the north half of tie
south west quarter of section twentyfour and
south half of the south east quart, r
of sect on twenty three. % all of TOWNSHIP
sixty c, 81, of range sixteen, 16.
Which said conveyance was
made in trust to secure the bay
ment of two certain promissory notes in
said deed described, and whereas saiG notes
haVe became due and are unpaid, now there
fore, IN accordance with said deed of trust
and at the request of the legal holder Of said
notes | shall proceed to sell the above de
scrlbed real estate at the court house door in
the citv OF kirksyille, in ihe county of Adair.
slate aforesaid, to the highest bidder for
cash, al public auction, ON
Saturday December 9, 1893,
oetwaen ha hours of nine III the forenoon
and ave IN the afternoon of that day, 10 at
lsfy said note, toy, ther with The cost and X
pense OF executing this trust.
L. j. DocKERY.
Dated this lith day of Nov. 1903 Trustee.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Wilson Items
Weatl,ar cool.

weather cool.
Ray Barrows has rented the
Chas' Elmore farm.
VIM. Conklin is helping w. A.
Craggs husk corn this week.
MIR. Waterman Reed has moved
into the property rented of MIR.
Vandiver.
j. III. Malone took than ksgivipg
dinner with his friend Harry
Morse, of La Plata.
J.C. Farrell has been taking
treatment of DIR. Still and thinks
himself greatly benefited.
Grandpa Billings has returned
from his trip to Iowa where he
went to visit. his son, Frances.
Mrs. Minnie Tompkins is suf-
fering with felon. o. w. Clot-
felter is also nursing some pets on
one Of his hands.
Most of the farmers in this VI
cinity have finished husking corn
The crop here is much better IN
quantity than in quality.
Mr.. Beckley, wife and little son,
of Iowa, recently made a short
visit to Mr.. Beckley's sister, Mrs.
Geo. Billings. of this place.
Sammie Davidson was nome
from Chillicothe, where he is at
tending school and made his pa
rents d short visit recently.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01

bers pretend an indifference they
are far from feeling. Secretary
Gresham is trying to sneak out
by telling his personal friends
that Mr.. Cleveland had determined
to restore the queen before be
was sworn in and that Blount's
instructions were prepared in the
White House and given to him by
Mr.. Cleveland, and that he
(Gresham had nothing whatever
to do with shaping the Hawaiian
policy. But even while trying to
do the sneak act he has proven
his completely in what will be re-
gsrded by posterity as one of the
most dastRrdly state crimes in
American history by ransacking,
the State Department record and
giving out for publication in ad-
misistration newspapers isolated
letters which seem 10 bear out his
theory, or, as he claims, Mr. Cleve-
lands theory. that the Harrison
administration had knowledge of
the intention to overthrow the
queen long before that event took
place.
Just why the administration
thinks that its position would be
completely vindicated if this fact
were proven is more than [ can
see. 1t is probable that nine in
telligent citizens out of every ten
would say that this government
lid exactly what was right if 1t
had actually dethroned the queen,
as Mr.. Cleveland would like the
country to believe.
Not satisfied with controlling
the Congressman now in office
Mr.. Cleveland has entered into
conspiracy with Messrs Harrity,
Quincy and Dickinson, of the
Democratic National Committee
to control the nomination of every
democrat who runs for the House
of the Fifty : Fourth Congress,
through the machinery of the
national committee, which is to
open headquarters here solely for
that purpose. The democratic
Congressman have just "got onto"
this conspiracy AM those who are
anti-C Cleveland are making dire
threats about what they propose
doing, not only to secure their
denomination, but to get even
with Mr.. Cleveland.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
La Grippe,

Daring the prevalence of the
Grippe the past seasons 1t was q
noticeable fact that those who de-
pended up DR.. Kings New Dis
covery, not ouIy had speedy re-
coYery, but escaped all Of the
troublesome after effect of the
malady. This remedy seems to
have peculiar power in esfectipg
rapid ourss not only in cases of
LaGrippe, but in all Diseases OF
throat, chest and lungs, and has
cured cases of asthma and hay fe-
yer Of long standing Try it and
be convinced. 1t won't disappoint.
Free trial bottle at B. +. Heury's
Drugstore.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
Brashear Items.

| Some of the side walks need
rep airing.
Mrs. Molesworth who has been
i'll for some time is improving.
DR.. Murry, the oculist of Mont
gomery City. is treating 3 number
of patients here.
The plate glass for the front of
j. n. McCreery's new brick build
ing has arrived.
A number of our young people
attended the concert at Sabbath
Home last Saturday evening.
MIR. and Mrs. Sherwood of
Kirksville were the guests of the
Miss Ssngsters of Brashear last
Sunday.
Owing to the icy condition of
the sidewalks Brashesr people re-
msined in doors last Sunday.
The latest sensation in town
was caused by a dog jamping
trough window of the north
side drug store. ,
There is quite number of peo-
pie In town. Notwithstanding the
bad condition of the roads. Bra
shear hardly ever lacks a good
crowd.
Is it possible that The alleys are
to be used for the receptacle of
all the filth and trash that may be
raked up about our premises. How
is it Mr.. Marshal?
Rev. Scull has been holding a
protrscted meeting at Fsirview for
two weeks, and reports q number
of conversions. The ordinance of
baptism will be administered to
the converts next Sunday.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
+, E. sUBLETTE, PROP.
MISSOURI
FRIDAY. Dec. l 1893.
Hicks Storms, as usual. ar,

Hicks Storms, as usual, are
right on time.
The new tariff bill has been
given to the public. It's a mighty
bad bill, but is the best the Dem
ocrats can do, and is all that was
expected of them.
The tariff bill reduces the
sugar bounty in eight annual In
stsllments, the last instsllment to
sweep the bounty away altogether.
This will ease the opposition from
Louisiana.
The revenue in the New
York banks Is greater by S6,O0o,-
600, than than any previous time.
To pile up idle money seems to
be about the oaly thing Democrs-
cy can accomplish.
Secretary Carlisle's speech
on finance the other night has the
hearty endorsement of all exclu
sive gold men. There is another
class of men, not SO exclusive In
their ideas, that will be heard from
later on. Mr.. Carlisle should make
q note of this.
The Democratic tariff bill
is radical measure. Its attack
on American industries is vicious
enough to satisfy even Senator
Vest. The reduction is sweeping
all along the line and the free list
has been greatly extended. Wool,
coal, iron, salt and lumber are on
the free list, and duties on nearly
all classes of manufacturers have
been cut down below the protec-
tive limit. 1t is hardly possible
for the bill to become law, but if
it does, it will close up the factor
les, and fill the country with un-
employed men.
Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1893-12-01
SCHOOL REPORT.

Third monthly report of West
Center school, for the month be-
ginning Oct. 9th and ending Nov.
9th. Number of pupils enrolled
during the month, IL; total num-
ber of days attendance by all pu-
pills for the month, CIT; average
number OF days attendance per
pupil l6; average number of pu-
pills attending each day, 80; per
cent of enrolment of enumeration
so; Of average daily attendance of
enrolment 81; number of days
taught during the month %. The
names of these attending each
day during the month are Maggie,
Nellie and FANNY Darr, Ethel and
Mud Phi0ps, Hattie and Eddie
Stage, Nettie, Roy and CLYDE
Shoop, Cora Shafer, Leonard and
Msble Reed, Eta Vanlaning-
ham, Eddie Stone. Clara Thomp-
son, Johnny Highland and War
ren Horrel. Yours Respt.
ADAM HoERMANN, Teacher.
OvERooATs FOR MAN Oh BoY ST
b. III. I,OWFNsTFIN's