The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1893-07-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

fug1llstlc talent counts for very lit
tie in whipping trout stream.-Iroy
Press.
Wagner music is being experimental
with as rain-producer. Philadelphia
Record.
The cremationist is never a loafer.
He firmly believes in every man urn
ing his dust.-Bufalo Courier.
Barkeepers should make clever pu-
gilists. they are SO used to giving
cross-countsr punches Philadelphia
Record.
If mortal will try right hard he
can always find numerous disappoint-
ments lying around loose Galveston
NeaOS.
We would respectfully inquire what
faith-cure disciple does when he sits
down on a loaded yellow w-jacket.-De-
trott Free Press.
This-is pre-emineutly world of Cos
sip. Even the moon can't get full
without having more than one speak
of it.-Troy Press.
George wonder why Ethel calls
me her chrysanthemumP Binks-She
may have discovered the fact that you
She-I want a sealskin sacque,
George. He-But it is too warm now
for sealskin. She-It won't be by the
time l get it.-Detroit Free Press.
"Those were indeed good old times!
Whenever knight saw his creditors
approaching, he simply pulled up his
drawbridge. F9iege,sde Blatter.
II have just been enjoying myself
among the breakers" as the young
man said who had been talking to the
kitchen girls. Cleveland Plaindealer.
81 heard number of sound areu-
ments this morning." "Was it scien-
tiic discussionP" mo. A dispute be-
tween two musicians. y Washington
Star.
"You don't mean to say that in Chi
"Why, of course they do. Would you
have them eat asparagus withoutP"-
Vogue.
The Minister--Do you ever think of
a higher life, Miss Emmap Miss Emma
No, papa is so much afraid of fire
we always take the first flat.-M. Y
Herald.
He-What a charming young wo-
man! She speaks on every topic with
equal ease. Shea matter of atavism,
my dear. Her grandfather was bar
ber.-Le Figaro.
Cholly Thrownover (reproachfully)
Why, ngelina-Miss Coldsnub- Il
never had-er-the slightest idea
Miss Coldsnub-Y Yes, that's what every
body says. Troy Press.
alur /Ruo.~, Wona.1...\ III.
Rufus, do look at these tadpoles in
day all those horrid wriggling things
will be butterfiesp p-PucIc.
Binaway-And our talkative friend,
Miss Angular? Is she Miss Angular
stillP Stadehome = Hardly! She's
Miss Angular, the woman's suffrage
adyocate.-Bafato Courier.
Miss Penstock-I am going over to
Paris this year to see if cannot get
something decent to wear. Miss Pink
erly-You havc never been there be-
tc=ss~hase you9-Detroit Free Press.
Wobbosh-After all, marriage is a
lottery. Mrs. jackson Parke-And
isn't it pity that it is not good form
to have the drawings oftener than
once in three monthsP- Indianapolis
Joa7DGl.
Mlnnie-Why. dear, you have mis-
spelled two or three words in this let
ter. Mamie-I know I have. don't
want him to think am too we'll edu-
Gated to be "womanly. Indianapolis
Journal.
Servant-Please, ma'am, there's
poor man at the door with wooden
legs. Young housewife-Why, Bah
ette, what can we do with wooden
legsP Tell him we don't want any
LGnd6ote.
Hotel clerk (to new bell boy)-"Did
you wake up No. 44P" Bell boy-"No
sab. Cuddent wake him up, sab: but
l did the best / could, sah." "What
was thatP" II walked up No. 45, sah."
-Harper's Bazaar.
20 for some new coined name by
which to call him! o for some name
no other lips could give!" was the
prayer of Violet until she married
him. Now she is content to call him
Old Beeswax. Roseleaf
"There is no pleasing Mrs. Adipose,"
said Parker. "She got on a crowded
car the other day, and when three
men got up to offer her a seat she got
mad. Took it as a reflection upon her
size. ."-Harper's Magazine.
"What in the world possesses a we'll
educated young woman to leave a good
home and elope with the coachman?"
"Iguess she wants the world to know
that the family was able to afford
coachman. ."-Lsdia'sapotis Journal.
sDo you think travel broadens the
mindP" asked Barker at the club. at
depends on the mind" replied War
rem. Il think glove-stretcher would
do quite as well for Chappie Bron-
sons, for instance. Harper Bazar.
Footpad-Gimme your money! Mr..
Lushforth (disgustedly)-Do you sup
pose would be goin' home at g
o'clock if had any money! You are
the biggest chump have met in
month of Sundays.-I'adiaraapolis Jour-
nal.
"No," sadly said the stranger at the
restaurant, as he looked at the cup of
coffee handed out to him, "you can
take it back. 1 haven't the heart to
tackle anything SO weak as that. It's
against my principles. ."-Ie1as Sit-
i'sgs.
She (aC 11:oO p. m. )-George, don't
you feel sorry for the poor ChinamanP
He-Naw, why should 1 feel sorry for
himP She-Because he has to go.
George took the hint and next day
they were registered. Cleveland Plain
dealer.
He read the letter twice and then
said: "This is one of the most moving
pieces of literature L ever saw" as
it an appeal for aid?" asked his wife.
mo. It's a note from the landlord
saying he has raised the rent Wash
Gngton Star.
Jeweler (to grocer)-T beg your
pardon, but didn't see you put two
or three finger rings and a scarf pin in
your pocketp Grocer = Certainly
When you come into my place aren't
you always picking up things and put
ting them into your mouthp-Bostom
Transcript.
He-Miss Pnicephase is an odd
creature regular crank in fact.
WHY she actually thanked a GENTLE