Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-08-31
HUMOR OF THE WEEK.
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Many Odd, Curious, and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed
by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day
"A Budget of Fun.
Sprinkles of Spice.

Sprin<les of Spice.
The advance agent is not neces-
sarily forward man. - Yonkers
Statesman.
THAT just fills the BILL said the
robin as he seized fat worm
Lowell Courier.
THAT is Mrs. Specie, there. She
is a society leader; right in the swim"
so? BY Jove! she dresses for it. -
Puck.
THE fin-de-siecle girl and the fine
bicycle girl have more or less pro-,
nounced relationship. -Philadelphia
Times.
The Chinese language has only $50
words. The rest of it is expressed
with f1recrackers. -Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
BRIDGET, Gid you hear me call?n
EYES, mum; but you told me the
other day never to answer you back. f"
Tid-Bits.
HERES der laundry, und fader
wants to know Of you can't wash yust
der bosoms OF der shirts for half
price. Life.
THERE is no disputing the fact
that a man has to have considerable
ego" to gain much prominence as
traveller. Courier.
LUMMIx-"I hear you have new
baby at your house" Skimgullet-
eyes, | hear it myself about every
xuhon Tn, of homo -
BELLE-"Would you call Blanche.
beauty?" Jack-"Not unless [
thought she was likely to overhear,
me. Kate Fields Washington.
1--WE got an awful cold," said the
weather. What are you taking for
it?" asked the wind. "A drop of
mercury every hour. "-Exchange.
THE glad season is here when a
man cannot tell whether he is being
pursued by a mosquito or small boy
with a Jews harp. Washington Star
SHF-Don't you swim? | think
everybody should be able to swim.
He-Ah. it's as much as / can do to
keep my head above water on land
Ally Sloper
STRANGER-"With all the talk
about immigration l haven't noticed
many foreigners here" HCst-"N ait
till you see nominating conven-
tiOn. Puck.
ToMMY-My fathers in the butcher
business What business is your'n in?
Sammy-My father don't have to fol-
Ter any business. He's an Alderman.
Chicago Tribune.
"MY lines are not cast in pleasant
places" sighed the poet, as he stood
helplessly by and saw his wife throw
his latest effusion in the kitchen
stove. -Detroit Tribune. +
IT is difficult to understand how
Chinese theatrical company can go
through one of their serial plays
without getting all mixed up on their
cues.-Detroit Free Press.
OLD SUBSCRIBER Ito editor)- Can
you lend me s5?" Editor-"We can
not" Old Observation-Disclosures not
doin' much, eh?" Editor-"Well,'
we're holdin' our own. Atlanta
Constitution. /
MRS. NORTHUMBERLAND do you al
ways trust your husband implicity?",
Mrs. Experienced enthusiastically
Indeed / do. That is to say. of
course to certain extent. "-Somer-
vile Journal.
AND He PULLED His WALLET. II
seem to be considerably pushed for
cash to-day" muttered Rivers, re-
luctantly squaring an account Of SIS. IS
with the wheeled chair man.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
FIDDLEsTICKs Recommending ap-
plicant for cashier)-I assure you the
young man is very quick. Employer
Shortly -Don't want him. Our last
cashier was SO quick that he got to
Canada in ten hours.
"LAcE?" said the attentive clerk.
Eyes, madam, we have all kinds.
What sort shall / show you?" "You
can show me some ancestral lace,"
replied Mrs. Crewe Doyle. Il hear
that is very stylish now. Vogue.
A LINE in one of Louis Morris
poems says: "The old thoughts shall
never more be thought. Mr.. Nor
ris can never get the support of the
funny papers for the laureateship on
such platform as that. apo
lis Journal.
TEN BRoKE-"I wish hadn't mar
ried such an orthodox woman" Askit
Does your wife make you go to
church?n Ten Broke-"No; but she
holds tn the Biblical theory OF the
creation Seems to think I'm made
of dust Puck.
FIRST ADVOCATE OF ELECTRICITY
enthusiastically Electrocntjon
kills condemned criminal in one
tenth Of the time hanging does"
Second Ditto (more enthusiastically
Eyes; and it does away with his pain
full suspense. too Buffalo Courier.