The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1893-07-01
A SNAKE BITE CURE.
The Old Settler Tells OF It's Won.
derful Effects.

Great spoolks!' exclaimed the squire,
looking up from the paper he was read
ing and keeping his finger on the
place. Twenty thousand! Wat do
ye think O. that, ma jor? Twenty thou
SAN folks dyin' from snakes in one
year,
swat do think on it?" said the Old
Settler "Wull, think them folks must
"A took their applejacls pooty durn new,
bgosh, an leetlc too ofteny'
"Applcjack!'' said the squire, glar-
ing at the Old Settler. "Applejack hain't
got nuthin' to do with it! These folks
was bit"
"Bit, was they?" responded the Old
Settler. "Wufl, tina hain't nuthin' that
kin bite wuss thin new applejack,
squire. I've know'd it to be sharper'n
sarpent's tooth. But who were tellin'
We bout all them folks dyin' from snake
bites? That's good many folks,
squire. Yc orter be leetle keerful of
yer figgers when We set out to peddle
incts."
why, consarn IT." exclaimed the
squire, ''here it is, right here in the pa
per! The paper says that last year tina
was twenty thousan' folks died in Injy
from snake bitesl"
"In Injy, hay?' said the Old Settler.
''Why, didn't hev no kind an idee that
the sarpent had got ez much of foot
hold on Injy's coral strand ez all that!
Humph! must tell M'riar bout that,
an tha'n be a special meetin' of the
Clothers o. Them that's Naked an Feed
ers o. Them that Hungers called to
look inter it. This here won't never
do! M'riar must call meetin' of the
Clothers an Feeders, and the sistern
must line the mex cargo O. red flannel
shirts an secon'-han' pants with leather.
/ been spectin' they was a little too
thin to perfect them heathens on Iniy's
coral strand. An wat is the news
from Greenlan's icy mountains, squire?
How many folks is missin', long o.
snakes, up there? An does Afric's sum
ny fountains send in any returns?
Gosht'lmighty! This'll make trouble
fer my yaller-leg chickens ag'in, wen
this news gifts around, fer the Clothers
and Feeders alluz stays to supper.
Watts the returns from Afric's sunny
fountains, squire?"
The squire folded up his paper, put it
in his pocket and gave the Old Settler
a whitening look, but said nothing.
This was plainly disappointing to the
Old Settler, but after awhile he resumed
the subject.
Twenty thousand, hay?" said he. II
wisht ! know'd the directions o. some
leadin' heather over there an I'd send
him letter tellin' him bout the never
failin' Sugar Swamp cure for snake
p'ison, an tina wouldn't be no use o.
snakes bitin' anybody in that pleasin'
kcntry any more, fer they'd only waste
their p'ison. If anything ever were
cortion to snakes that Sugar Swamp
p'ison cure werel Goshtlmighty. how
it could draw! An that were fist the
trouble with it. It had so much hcft
to its drawin' powers that the danger
were that If 1t got its hooks onter a
Teller that had snake p'ison in him 1t
were liable to kill him while It were
curin' him. Pervidin', o. course, that
We want keerful in usin' on it. The in
grejints o. that Sugar Swamp snake
p'ison cure is q secret ez nobody kin
ever hev outside o. our family. The
were thunk up by an an
cistor o. mine who kim inter Sugar |
Swamp wen things was skeerce.
Ev'rything but bar an snakes. Tha |
want but two bar'l o. apple Juice In |
the hull settlement wen this ANCESTOR
o. mine sot down there, an folks was
comm in ev'ry day all bit up by snakes,
and consistently havin' to be filed up |
with that juice in q way that were
alarmin', that bein' the only snake |
p'ison cure ez were reco'nized 'mongst
the 'arly settlers o. Sugar Swamp. So
this ANCESTOR o. mine he got all worked
mp over it, seein' the way things was
goin' the future were goin' to be very
short, ez fur cz life bein' pleasant had
to do with 1t, snakes bein so
plenty, folks bein' so willin' to be bit
IN apple Juice bein' so skeerce. So he
up an says:
Its durn shame sayshe, to be
vastin' good apples, jist cause folks
won't git outen the way o. snakes! This
here's got to be stopped. A Teller can't
rev no show at toothful Of that { BE
10 more. less he goes an gifts bit py q
make. Them two bar'l won't last
noTs'u . month. a. then wat ave