St. Landry democrat., 1893-08-19
THE, JOKERS' b 1DGET.
.JEsTs AND YARNS BY FUN NY MEN
!. OF THE PRESS. !
A Big Start-Father was Nhaaaas-
Struggling With the Ian Euase-
Rules of the Road-Sure SiSI Is, etc.
Etc.
1 A BIG START.

~ don't see," said the investor, s'that
YOU have any signs OF town hero
"No signs! Well l reckon we have
Theirs lot for postotfice, a site foc q
cemetery. pond For baptlzln' and sis
candidates for Guv'nor n'-l Atlanta Coz
stitution.
Daughte"-Mr. Nicefello wants m'; tt
play duets with him.
Father-Well?
"Have you any objections -
"Of course not. 1t will please me to
DEATH
"Will it really ?"
eyes. indeed. I've Just been aching
for chance to act even with the neigh
bors next door. New York w 'eekly.
STRUGGLING WITH THE LANGI JAGE.
az wonder what became of my pen
knife?o said the new teacher in the kin
derearten. 81 am sure left it. on my
desk"
freddy Mullil ran swiped it,rnun, - re-
piled little Dennis: Quinn.
"Swiped it," asked the teacher,
with a surprised infection in her
voice. y
Yes, IN; l seed him."
"But what do you mean by swiped
it,"
"swiped it?' repeated Dennis, it now
being his turn to be surprised.
eyes. What is s~tiped it,"
''Why, snailed it."
"Snailed it? What on earth do you
mean"
"Why, he prigged it, num-
"More incom prehensible than ever.
swiped, snailed, prigged! What on
earth do you mean2'
why, he yanked it, you know" ex-
planned little Dennis, amazed at his
teachers failure to understand common
language. ''Put it in his pocket, you
know
ooh" exclaimed the teacher, with a
great sigh of relief, as she went after
Reddy Observation-Disclosures Bazaar.
RULES OF THE HsoAD.
City Gue,t-This road seems very mar
TOW. How do two wagoa s pass2
Farmers Boy-Well, mum, wen
man comes dnvin' along I gives him half
the road, and we pass on trot; but
when | see woman comm | gen'rally
takes down the fence bars and lodges in
to tield.-[Good News.
'Summer's comm sure said Hodges
to his wife.
"Haouw do you know?''
"Got letter from Cousin J ohm down
to the city, askin' us to come down for a
day or two. Johns maxim ready to be
asst up here. - Harper's Bazaar.
STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN.
Uncle Simon-Strange things happen
some times.
Aunt Sally-What We heard.
''3'hat boy O Johns has turned into
first rate, go-ahead sort of n man arter
all. They say he's MAXIM money hand
over fist in tn city,
"Be is?'
"Sure as shootsn'. An JUS think. That
boy never seemed to care for ANYTHING
but sfudyin' his lessons aud mopin' |
around home. Never started West to
fight Indians, or hired out as cabin boy.
or run off with a circus, nor nothin'. -.
GOOD News.
BEWARE OF THIS ROAD.
D,ra--Wha1 road did you travel over7
CLARA The North Southern Railroad.
and III never patronize that line again,
either Their Caramels are horrid. -
GOOD News.
A WOOER KNEW
"My father and mother were very
handsome" she said on the nj ght of her
first visit.
"Iou need not tell me that" he said
81 judged that they must have been the
moment saw you. ~ New York Press.
NEW PLEA.
Tramp lost everything I had in
Chicago, ma'am.
Housewife-Oh, that excuse about
losing at the great fire was stale fifteen
years ago.
Tramp-I don't mean at the fire. 1t
was the fair that bankrupted me- New
York Herald.
BABY's NATIONALITY.
Census Taker "a tride rattleO-Er,
what, er, nationality is your baby,
madam?
Young Mother (withcringly)-A lap
lander, just at present. New York
Journal.
CONFRONTED BY CONDITION..
Mr.. Wickwire this2 Aint
we going to have any dinner to-day:
Mrs. Wickwire-I guess not. That
woman over the way has bought such
lovely new bonnet that just haven't got
a bit OF appetite. indianapolis Jour
nal
DELIGHTFUL SITUATION.
Myrtalla-So you're engaged to Jack.
Of course you really love him2
Estella-Oh, yes; and what's better
still, all the other girls love him, too.-
T New York Herald.
INEXPERIENCED.
Ethel-If you don't believe in early
marriages, mamma, why did you and
papa marry so very young9
Mrs. Sadside-It was because we were
so very young.