The National tribune., 1893-08-03

connecting him with his air-ship had parted,
and that he WAS falling. A second later he
stopped with a terrible jerk. aud soon became
dimlv conscious that he was suspended between
the heavens and the earth by some object which
had evidently caught in the back of bis coat
He felt sensation of thank fuiness as he re-
membered that the garment was of unusually
strong material, and then lost consciousness.
The residents Of the quiet village of Postum
Ridge, Tenn were somewhat surprised one
morning 10 find Il man hanging by the coat.
tails to the weather-vane which surmounted
the steeple OF their only church, like ripe
persimmon waiting to be- plucked. A fter some
discussion ladders were procured, and COM
mittee of two went up and harvested him. He
remained insensible for a long time. but vigor-
Gus rubbing, alternating with occasional cener-
Gus potioBs Of newly distilled appiejaek, finally
restored bin. He persistently refused to di-
vulge his name place Of residence, but very
piausibly explained how he came TO be in u e
position in which he was found by saying he
calculated he must a walked in his sleep"
few days later particularly limp and de-
Iected looking specimen of the genus homo was
seen hobbling slowly and painfully up the walk
ia front Of the P0ppingham mansion, and a
moment later there was shrek of JOY as the
lady OF the house recognized her lord and mas
ter.
Where earth have you ben. Napoleon :"
asked Mrs. Poppingham, after the first tender
greetings were over.
well. I've been on little pleasure exeur-
sion from Ballyhack to break fast and return
my dear" replied the wanderer. | have tirted
with a cyclone an waltzed with a tornado;
have jostled agin the tail OF the comet, played
tag with the Ursa Major. an bathed my throb-
bin brow i'll the Milky Way, b. gosh 1t was
very interestin, from philosophical pint OF
Mt ippa ~ an
even thrillin. but it made me yearn for the
quiet joys o. home, as q country minister
yearns for a square meal.
You can tell your folks. Maria, an likewise
the neighbors an inquirin' friends, that your
husband has discontinued aerial navigation.
either for pleasure or business, until he gifts to
be a seraph with wings manufactured by some
body as thoroughly understands the trade.
You can further inform uOos lOvin' an anx-
ious public that your life partner is now a free
morii agent 50 to speak, bavin' swore off on
the inventin' habit forever an eternally, world
without end. Amen"
What you goin' to do now, NappyP"
"If pull through this, my dear I'm gon'
to study an improve my mind with the one
idee of trying to pass the civil service examina-
ton for admission into the National Retreat
for Busted Balloonatics, WappIe-Jawed I'm
beetles aud Dodderin' Idiots"
You look awful. Napoleon"
"Yes, Maria, s'pose do. feel awful IF
do not survive my ujoories -
Don't talk like that, Nappy."
Don't you interrupt ME, old lady. say, If
| happen TO elevate my toes as the result of my
brief but tempestuous experience as app entice
in the sky-scrapin' line, don't want you to
let the parson go into tie harrowin details at
the funeral. just notify him that be can dish
up consolation TO the bereaved friends and reIa-
tives for all he's worth, but that when he has
to alood to the late lamented he must stick to
elitterin' generalities, and stick clus. An.
Maria, you hear me; when I'm duly planted
accordn' to law an gospel, don't erect no tow
erin MONUMENT. no costly marble urn, no.
"Oh, Napoeon!"
"Jest plain stun slab will do, Maria, with
no frills or filigree. an bearin' this simple but
tecbin' inscription: Sacred to the memory of
a dumb fool "-Fraak Leslies Monthly