The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-12-07


& that few words carry
ing with them the wis
W dom of experience, may
not come amiss. The
most deplorable of all matrimonial con-
illusions is the marriage of a miss in
her teens. She is, In all respects, little
more than child-with all child s
conceit in the extent Of her powers.
Such marriages must of necessity be the
result of short engagements. How much
wiser it would be if the youth and maid
IN would consent to a prolongation of
he engagement beyond the first fever
sh heat of Lowell a young couple be-
coming engaged on three weeks or a
months acquaintance should, if the
parents be wise, continue SO at least a
rear.
Sober common sense should govern ey
Try action of our lives, particularly the
linking together of two young hearts.
Haste under any condition is a serious
actor, and it is especially SO in forming
The relationship above named. The
youth Of 81 or % years and the maiden
Of II or 10 cannot possibly have formed
habits which will characterize their
after lives. Youth is the season of
change, and the gawky lad just merging
into manhood stands ready to be made
)r marred.
The same rulo holds good in the
young girls case. The union of two
tender lives not yet expanded may mean
in the near future a pulling apart. 1t
were well if girls would consent to re-
main single until they had passed at
of hirfh WI 1 q,
the average young man, by the time he
had reached 90 or 27, would find that
his ideas of life had greatly enlarged
from the callow period. In such cases
engagements not extending beyond one
year are desirable, for by few meet
ings each can tell whether he or she is
suited to the other.
Where the law of primogeniture OBJ
tains, as in England, the younger sons
are oftimes RELOCATED to such a posi-
ton that they are not permitted to dis
play much force of character. AS a
rule, young men of this latter stamp
make fairly good husbands, from the
fact that the wife becomes the presid-
ing genius of the household. Permit
woman to rule, and peace will reign.
1t is when two rulers hold sway in one
domain that the times become out OF
Joint.
A sensible mother will early instiQ
into her daughters mind the necessity
of making "a wise choice of a mate with
whom to walk through life. Girls
brought up under such jurisdiction sell
dom marry before they have reached an
age at which they may be said to know
their own minds. With them the, mar
rage agreement Is not hastily entered
into, and the heart is only yielded up
after mature deliberatiOn and the prom
ise of an engagement extending over
such a period as to permit both parties
to become thoroughly acquainted.
Life is not entirely like the summer
sea-composed of roseate hues. 1t is
more often like the surface of old ocean,
ON which storms and sunshine follow in
quick succession. The test of love lies In
its endurance, and only well balanced
minds come out unscarred nom lire
battle. In the heyday of life its twilight
is obscured, and it is the ability to meet
both which cements the marriage tie
In these rapidly progressive times, when
people rush headlong through life, too
little attention is paid to this most holy
of rites. 1t would seem that even the
necessity for its existence We're IN a
measure passing away. Men and wo-
men, instead of forming conJugal
unions, are arrayed against each other
in individual efforts to secure living.
And so the battle surges on.
The spirit of the times creates COM
pulsory independence, and woman IN
all things considers herself the equal or
man. This, in many respects, IS not to
he doubted. and indeed in certain fields
she is his superior. The man, never
theless. vet stands king, for in this busy
world might still makes right and the
battle is to the strong. Thus In certain
walks of life it is only occasionally that
woman rises to mans dignity. 1t is
these exceptional cases that are held up
"a laudable and worthy of emulation.
Where man, the king, can be counted
as tens of thousands strong, the greatest
woman appears as but beacon hgnt
tn the members of her Sex.
What we want in this busy workyday
life of ours is that we stand side by side
with rnan-not seeking favors on the
score of womanhood, but determined
to rise or fall ON our merits alone.
Special training - ISquAAeA ~ "
such task, and the young woman VINO
while still almost child enters the
matrimonial state finds that the ties OF
home and family bind her more closely
than the tire of the wagon s wheel en-
circles the spokes. Properly to prepare
n woman for n life's work as a bread
winner, however, requires years OF
study on her part. This possibly ac-
counts for the late marriages among this
class.
It sometimes happens also that long
engagements become matter or neces-
sity rather than of choice, for while the
affinity may be strong the pockets orteh
are weak. Occasionally such agree
meuts continue for so many years that
death carries off one of the parties, and
the remaining member plods his or her
weary way alone.
Life is at best but a dream, and rev.
erish one at that. 1t is composed OF
hills and valleys with intermittent sun
shine. The lives of the rich can be
made no criterion for the poor. Inc
loyemaking of the one is totally differ
emit from that of the other. Wealth
gains privileges and concessions which
The lack of it debars. The rich Rirl'