Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-08-03

portant function he bought barter
| ders complete guide and CAREFUL
studied those sections which treat
the various varieties OF lemonade. an,
Is prepared to give chapter and yers,
to any doubter who may suspect tina
too much sugar or not enough lemon
have been employed. He knows his
business, he does, and while he is stir
ring the lemonade and exposing the
knots In his suspenders II Is not safe to
NEEDLE with him.
Not less important, however, are the
members OF several other committees
who are commonly self-appointed. Tho
committee on swings has generally
the pleasantest Job OF the picnic; for,
after having, at the peril Of their lives,
arranged the swing In proper place,
cut off o limb or two that interfered
with the movement, and pulled the
rope up and down until the seat was
just right, 1t Is theirs to invite
the young ladies to be swung.
Seldom Is the honor declined, for, al
though the lady properly approached
on the subject Is morally certain that
she will fall out, and in addition urges
the consideration that swinging always
makes her dizzy, the urgency OF the
lnviters prevails, and with pretty little
shrieks and squeals and much and
careful adjustment of her drapery
about her feet, she gets herself In po-
sitlon and Is duly swung, amid many
protestations that she Is going too
high, and that she knew she could not
stand 1t. The misery Of the swinging
committee comes when stout miss
who is fond Of swinging makes her ap-
pearance and stands about, with perse-
vering patience, waiting to be invited.
The slim youths manipulating the
swinging circle prolong their exertions
with the petite beauty in hand as long
as possible, keeping her going far be-
You'd her own desire in the hope that
the big girl will go away, Vain Is
their expectation. She has come to be-
swung, and by and by it becomes inn
possible to ignore her any longer. The
slender youths take off their coats and
settle down to the task with dumb res
ignation, all of which Is needed before
she becomes tired and requests them
to 'let the cat die"
A display of enterprise is always
pleasing, though when the enterprise
Is misdirected it has comical aspect
which often excites the risibilities in
no small degree The presence of o.
considerable number OF persons as ut O
picnic generally attracts individuals of
the class that lives by providing cheap
and humble popular amusements. How
ever rigid the prejudlces of the clergy
men and Sunday-school superintendent
may be against the canvas screen with
the agile black head thrust through
the slit, the owner of which stands
prepared to dodge any number Of base
balls thrown at his Uranium, the screen
and its appurtenances are almost sure
to appear, the loud-voiced proprietor
Justify commencing the sport to world
ly minded youth. We're there none
such in the gathering the fat man with
the loud voice and his hard-headed
dusky assistant would be forced to 20
away in disgust, but hanging to the
skirts Of every Sunday-school there are
always several young reprobates who
have no taste for Sunday-school singing,
who regard the speeches by visiting
Sunday-school workers" as a bore, and
who slip away to try their luck at the
darky's head. So the darby generally
has q busy time, and the fat proprietor
reaps a harvest of nickels and dimes.
Much more deprecated, however, Is
the presence of the operator who with
his rack of canes, his bundle of rings
and his keg Of beer advertises his
business in a set formula of words.
Walk up now, gents, and try your luck.
Five rings for nickel, and every time
you ring cane you get glass Of beer.
Sometimes, installing the nature of
the entertainment, he hobs up at a
Sunday-school picnic, to the horror of
the preacher, superintendent and old
ladies, who Immediately take measures
looking to his summary election. His
is case of mistaken enterprise, and
he must suffer the consequences.
Viewed strictly as a business propo-
sition the picnic is an undoubted fail
ure. Purely from an economic point
Of view, it does not pay to run around
in the hot sun all day long in the effort
to enjoy yourself; viewed from socio-
logical standpoint, it is brilliant sue
cess, for, while statistics on the subject
are lacking, there is little doubt that,
we're they available, they would dem
onstrate that of all the marriages in
the country no inconsiderable proper
ton have their beginnings at the picnic.