The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1893-04-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Stand and deliver-Saeswome
A common rcport-The sunset gun.
A force pump-A repolc cer's inter-
view.
Out of the fashion-A dressmakei's
profits.
A checkered career Tho chesc.
players.
Love is merely very pleasant faith
cure.-Galveston News.
The auctioneer is man who likes
to have you talk back.
Even when hard at work the cooper
has staving good time. - Boston
Courier.
"We will let it 90 at that" said the
young boy as he threw au apple at a
dude Harvard Lampoon.
When a man says that the world is
growing better, it means that the opinion
of himself is growing higher. RAMS
Horn.
81 can dispose of a whole boat load
of Sailors" remarked the whale, "but
it's when swallow their yarns that l
feel worsted. "-E mira Gazette.
When doctors disagree
An dunno what does all yer,
Then, 'twixt you an me,
They jes' C Ills II heart tailureP
Puck.
The bee of Northern Greenland has no
sting. But there is nothing in Northern
Greenland worth singing. Nature sell
dom makes blunder.-Chicago Tri-
bune.
The great difficulty about politics is
that it is utterly impossible for the ap-
pointmeuts to make any kind of u nu-
merical showing alongside OF the disap-
pointmeuts.
The idea of employing pretty women
for bill collectors looks feasible, but it
would not work. The delinquent debt
ors would all want them to call again.--
Somerville Journal.
The question Of department is not au
unimpoItant one. A man always looks
better who carries himself well than
when two or more friends are trying to
carry him. p Philadelphia Times.
He talke of love in I cottage,
1t was his fondest dream;
But he forgot the awful expense
y, beating it by steam.
Chicago lntsr-Ocean.
Physician -"Considering the weak
state OF your eyes, it will be as well II
you gaze rs much as possible into empty
space" Patient-"All right, then; Ill
keep looking into my purse. ."-BIumen-
lese.
Yapsley-"Miss Passay seemed Offend
ed at you last evening. What did you
sayi" Mudge-"Bessei il know.
only asked her if she didn't dread having
to wear hoops again. ."-Indiauapolis
Journal.
"I thought the Millions were going to
give large party "Tiey were, but
water pipe broke in the house."
Couldn't it be mendedl' "Yes, but
tho plumber took the house rs part pay"
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Flora-"Why does Mrs. AIinton
Worcester invariably wear white this
season" Dora-"Oh, hadn't you heard
that her $1,000 vase was brokenl And
white, you know, IS tho mouruin color
for China. Vogue.
Wife-"Oh, George, the water pipe
is leaking and the water is spelling tho
new hall cIrpet. Co and get plumber.
quicEl" Husband-"Tha.'s all right,
my dear; let it 90; it's cheaper to get q
new carpet. ~ Harvard Lanpool.
Cook ION the day after her arrivaD-
"Please, mum, I'm bit fiery az times,
and when Pm fiery I'm apt to 6e Bit
rough spo ,eu; but you nee Int let that
put you about-with u little present yon
can allus bring me round again. Fit
Bits.
Mistress-"Now, Jaue, clear away tho
breakfast dishes aud thea loo < after tho
children. I'm gcing around the corner
10 have dress itted,' Faith'ul-
"Ye5, mum. VIII ye ta'e the night key,
or shall set ~ for yef'-reNH Sift-
ings.
New Bly--"rhere's uau oltsile as
acts as il he oNuei the place Agent
--"Tell him I'm out. later What
did he say" New Boy" rhat il you
couldn't stay here and n'teni to business
he would get an aseag who would, -
New YORK sun,