The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-10-13
UNCLE SETH AS. A coNsoLER.
4 Cutting Reminiscence from the Sa
NTflIa

4 Cutting Reminiscence from the Saw
Mills.
Wal. so ye he'd yer laig sawed off in a
! sawnlil. did yer? Sawed right of two
inches above the knee? Wal, it's the
best thing yer could do. Hold yer
horses! Hold up! Don't say word!
came down here purpose to console
ye an now don't go to gittin' riied. /
tell ye man ought to be happy who is
lucky enough to get his laig sawed off.
Hold on, now, don't yer see I'm con-
solin' We! Wen a feller's trying to
say sweet words Of comfort an peace
to We it's plague-on provokin' to hev
We go an r'ar mp about It. 1 tell ye,
Ab'rum, it's the biggest thing We ever
did wen yer went an he'd that ar laig
of. It's money In yer pocket, an it
would ha' been more money in yer
pocket to he'd yer other laig sawed off
too-on'y in that case yer wouldn' had
no pocket to put yer money into. He! he!
0, SO you can't see any use in any
sich tomfool, fol-de-rol nonsense! tell
with the census report that every ex-
periunce man has is worth a dollar
to him. Any miser' Bile everyday ex-
periunce is worth a dollar to him If he
is the right kim er man. Ye know
young Bob Perkins, who couldn' t earn
his salt fore he lost his right laig.
Then he went circussing roun' to all
the shows in the country as the one
laig-ed bicycler an made seventeen
hundred dollars in one summer. Wen
be fell oHn his bicycle an lost his
other laig he went roun' with a me-
nagerie an circus walxin' on his
hands, an he made ten thousand dol
lars in one trip. If you want to keteh
q fortune you can ketch it quicker on
one laig than yer can on two, an We
can ketch it walkin on yer hands in
no time. You know oil Cy Perkins,
who wuz born up here at the
Bean placer A reg'lar 1ummix! Wal,
he went to the war an lost his
laig. Guess he lost it runnin' away,
coz he wuz so scat he allus run away
from an angle-worm COZ he wuz feered
it wuz a snaik. Wal, he wuz so scat
that w en- some of the Union boys shot
some tame turkeys he heerd the firm
an thought the rebs were comm an
started to run so fast that one laig
tumbled over the other, an he got all
mixed up with hisself an broke it.
Wal, sir, he came home an we all
kinder pitied him-he was such a gawk
an we made him sillickman, an mex
year we pitied him some more, coz he
wuz gawkier than ever, an sent him to
the legislator, an I'll be dinged if the
deestrict didn't take him up an run
him for congress on his soldier record.
Wal sir, he run good deal better
than the other man, coz the other man
didn't hev either wooden laig or a
wooden head, an Cy was well supplied
with both. If the other feller he'd he'd
five laigs an a bicycle. he couifn' ha'
run for congress az quick as oil Cy with
his wooden laig, an his head of the
same material.
tell ye. Ab'rum, as said afore, eve
~ experiunce is wuth a dollar to
man. if he knows how to use it. OF
course losin' yer laig is wuth thousan's.
But every little miser bic experiunce is
wuth a dollar, if you've only got gump-
ton enough to carry it to the right
market an sell it. Ye might give a
hungry man bushel of taters an he
would starve to death, if he didn't
know nough to cook 'em. An expert
unce amt wuth nothin' if ye don't
know how to use it. Neither is ten
dollar bill.
/ tell ye every experiunce is wuth .
dollar to We an every man ought to
have three experiences a day-like
gettin' cinder in his eye. losin' his
pocketbook, or fallin' off a haymow-
he oughter git three day, an that's
three dollars, an that's thousan' dol
lars year; an so every mar who's
sixty years OF ought to be wuth sixty
thousan' dollars.
How OF am 1? Wal, I'm sixty my
self. How much am l worth? Oh-er-er
mighty pleasant weather we're hav-
in now, amt it? Good grass weather,
good weather for garding sass, good
weather for critters, good CROWN
weather, good wealth How much am
l wuth? Wal, I've got thirteen dollars
an some odd cents in the bank, but
then hain't never had no time to go
foolin' round to find market for my
But l can't hang roun'
here no longer. Bill Smith is givin'
me sixty cents a day to take care Of |
water the cows.-Chicago Inter Ocean.