The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-05-20
MORAL: do NOT KISS"
That Is, Do Not Kiss Cooks WHO
Make Bread Puddings.

They had been talking of spiritual
manifestations, haunted houses and
other cheerful su0jects-that is, three of
them had been talking The fourth
man had smoked on steadily, his hands
locked behind his head. staring into the
wood fire.
Just for something to say one of the
party asked; We'll. Jack. what about
you? Weren't you ever haunted?'
The man they called Jack took his
cigar from his mouth and, with his eyes
still fixed on the fire, spakc:
Yes. was haunted once; haunted
by a woman with bread pudding
wrapped in newspaper. | have never
forgotten it. i will tell yosothis story
because it has moral and therein diff
fers widely from the stories you have
been telling.
ITO begin with, II was ali the fault
Of a kiss. In the days Of his youth and
the spring OF his blood d man win kiss
almost anything feminine if he gets the
chance. When that sort of malady
came upon me was an under master
in large private school in the south of
England. We had about sixty boys and
a correspondingly large force of serv-
ants. Some of those servants were
pretty and some weren't. Prominent
among those who were not was the
cook. Looking baci, through the vista
of years, | know that Cookie was
homelicr than a Chinese idol, bat in
those days the elixir Mcphistopheles
gave faust got into my blood some
times, and on one OF those occasions |
kissed the cook; 1t was a chaste salute
and Cookie evidently liked it. That kiss
was the beginning Of many things, all
of them unpleasant.
Cookie was good cook and the fare
at that school was neither plentiful nor
good. Besides good healthy appetite
! had in those days a great prediction
for bread buildings A bread pudding
is something like fruit cake, only more
doughty, and it touches the hungry spot
better. Cookie was a great hand at
those buildings and sometimes used TO
make me one for lunch, but after that
kiss | never had 10 ask for lunch, for
Cookie went to making bread buildings
for me until | couldn't rest. ] would
linda cold, clammy bread pudding under
my pillow when I went to bed and an
other would be nesting in the bureau
drawer among my clean linen. Such q
plethora OF pudding would pail on my
appetite and finally got to firing the
delicacies out Of the window at the
strolling cats and pugnacious .spsrrows.
well, it came TO pass one evening
that Cookie looked upon the beer when
it foamcd in the pewter and came
home hilarious The next morning
Cookie got fiji ed and | was not as
sorry as | might have been, because |
forsaw a puddingless rest ahead l
babe Cookie a tender farewell and ac-
cep:ed last bread pudding OF giant
proportions which promptly fed to the
cats.
You fellows know that in England
the bartender's place is generally filed
by a girl-mighty pretty girls some OF
them are, too. Somewhere near the bar
is what. in hotels, is called the bar par
lor This IS reserved for the aristocrats
and othes salt Of the earth. Down at
the little seaside place ! speak Of there
was a nice hotel called the Red Lion.
with a coy bar parlor presided over by
the prettiest girl you ever saw. We
called her Miss Dee Whether il was
the excellent quality Of the brown
brandy or the superior attractions II
tha. barnaid don't know, but 10: Of
US used to get n there in the evenings
and sit around and smoke I was IN
there one night with the usual crowd.
and Miss Dee was dispensing smiles and
hot drinks with irapartizlity when SIZE
was called 70 :hc outer bar. This was
from the parlor by a screen
Pretty soon Miss Dec caTse hack with a
rather mystifed look on her face. and, 1
coming across TO me, Whispered:
=" There's a person II the bar wants
10 see you
with more nisgivings than cal r. /
member peePed around that screen /
There, IN tie bar. radian: with Smiles !
stood Cookie. Under her arm she c2--
ried something wrapped IN . neTsP.- .
,er. / knew Is shape only too vel 4
NJ fate had followed ne 7. was 4
mother bread ~udtiag.
Il went oz, beeause feIt that II .
.idnt Cookie wo1ld nrotaoiT bring