The morning call., 1893-05-24
LIGHT AND SHADE.
Eiumors and Curios of d
Courtroom.
JAPs, DEACoNs, cRIPPLEs.
Oddities of Human Nature Under
"Trying" Circumstances AS
Viewed on the Side.

Il. Yoshikans, sleek and tony Jap
stood up in Police Judge Campbelps
court yesterday morning in response to
howl from the Clerk.
"Who's complaining witness?" roared
Judge Campbell.
George Y Kado. take the stand," or
dered Prosecuting Attorney Reed.
How'd he hit you?" asked the dis
penser of Police Court justice.
Mr. kado was not less elegantly attlred
and carefully groomed than the defendant.
And Mr. KadO being one of the very high
est class Japs in the city, was also cui-
tured and courteous Of sntech.
I'm ger first place" began Kado," Mr..
Il. Yoshikana complain something in zer
japanese newspaper about him he does
not like. ], an empl0ye Of Teo IN IA Ma
son street, he mistake my occupation, be-
cause he thinks me a journalist.
Disgust and indignation divided the ex-
preston of little Kado's sWarthy counte-
nance.
Took you for a reporter and smashed
you for writing him up, ala he?' asked
the Prosecuting Attorney.
with a kitchen implement about so
long and so broad, and with which he
struck me on ger head many times"
Every two minutes another Jap walked
up to The front ana soon tuere were
dozen in attendance.
G. Y. Kado retired and several other
Japs stood up, went through the oath num-
bic, and fiatly contradicted G. Y. Kado.
One important looking little fellow said
Kado had called Yoshikana a bad name,
which had provoked the assault.
You lie, sar! on, how you lie, sar"
shrieked Kado, advancing threaenlngly TO-
ward the witness.
"Oh, come now, hold your tongue or I'll
iail you in half second" said the court.
II think that fellow ought to be fined %
suggested tue prosecuting officer "Yon
fined an attorney $500 not long ago for call
ing man iIaT.
"Wen. I'd fine a LAWYER for that quicker
than l would Jap" retorted the court
Sharply. II ought to have given him
$500"
Meanwhile the Japs were jabhering and
gesticulatng. They organized several
tribunals among themselves i'll when they
vigorously prosecuted and defended each
other, and out of the babel and confusion
the court tried in vain 20 extract some ill.,
tellgent testimony.
Some spoke English and some didn't.
An Interpreter was called, who under
stood the language almost as we'll as the
man whose lingo he was engaged in inter
preting. Being also witness, the court
called turn about" and 10! the in
terpreter testified through the Jap he had
recently interpreted for. Bus the noise
only increased, and ii seemed as though
Japan mad come to stay.
'Oh, it's clear case" said the attorney
for Kado.
Very" replied the court with empha-
sis, while he mopprd his brow with a
bandana. IT'S clear as mud. But | hate
10 send the Jap to Jail without knowing
anything about the case: What's it all
about, anyhow ?" Snared his Honor at last
in desperation.
Fifteen Jars in discordant voices, ia k
ing partly in japanese and partly in Eng
lish, offered TO tell him all about it, but
the judicial patience had become ex-
hausted.
ease dismissed. Now scat !" was the
courts finding of fact and conclusion OF
law, and out of the room the Japan ese
warriors and journalists filed in body.
The police cot together in the corner
and voted him the finest liar on record.
Fred certainly was good one.
Kelly was his other name and he had on
trousers and vest so old that every tint of
the rainbow glnted from their greasy sur
face. And a two weeks beard, pair of
red ewes and adrEy draggled necktie added
further perS nal adornment to the cture
of Mr.. Kelly.
young fellow named Jones, who drives
an express wagon, testified that he mi ssed
large red package. su,pected Fred. fol-
lowed him TO the What Cheer House and
thence TO the OREGON House where he took
the booty from him and turned Fred over
to an officer.
Did you see him with the package in
his possession ?"
"Yes, sir; that is how | came TO follow
him. Finally | took it away from him."
Fred WIS allowed to crnss-eXamine. He
looked al his young friend in the EN- ploy
of a rich corporation. and then slowly and
sadly he questioned him. One was pain
fully reminded of Sunday-sch ool su er-
intendent gently bnt firmly questioning a
truant lad as to whether he had done nj
fishing last Sabbath. Mr.. Kelly was
grieved, he declared, that such bright,
promising looking Welis-Fargo man could
tell such an untruth.
"And you saw me- with that package in
my hand; how think? exhorted Mr.
Kelly.
Yep; that's what, partner" said the
driver
"Of course, as matter of fact. your
Honor" SAID Kelly. In kind of coufiden-
tla aside to The court, II never saw the
package until to-day"
'Of course" agreed the court, ironically.
And, my boy." pursued Deacon Kelly
fixing his melancholy Ze upon the young
man, you still say that you took tha
package from my hand ?"
Yep" was the laconie reply.
my boy, my boy; think Of your soul
think of your soul!" and old Kelly broke
down and wept and the court saic
guilty" and they led him away and pu
him in a cell with less pions liars. where
he may phiiosophiZe at leisure upon III,
corrupting influence which big corpora
tions exert upon The young.
Reed announced the next case.
"R. n. Morrow, charged with battery.
Morrow stood up upon his stumps. II,
measured about feet s.
! The court in merry mood inquired