The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-01-19
THE ADJECTIVE VENDOR,
Illustrating the Past and Present
Styles in These Words

Nice sharp adjectives! Sweet round ad-
jectives! Adjectives to sell!''
The adjective vendor stood on sun
ny corner. His pack was slung across
his back by means of a string. The
string was made of long adjectives,
and W hen the vendor sold one from it,
he linked on another taken from his
| pack. In that way the string never
grew too short to fasten about him
| The adjective vendor was a wide-awake
man. He had travelled far, and had
friends in all parts of the world lie
had now just returned from the Arctic
regions, where he had been to collect
oddities with which 70 replenish his
stock He was glad OF the sun on tho
street corner, and finally decided to
take up kis stoeion there for tee dny.
"Gcod poopLS ell!
Gave noe CALI"
he sang out, as he arranged his stock
Oh little counter by the side Of tho
| walk
Here's for young ladiesi The latest
goods for gents! Just imported Here's
for the maFazinesI Fresh adjectivesl
Give Us calLp'
''Ohl the dear things" exclaimed a
young woman who was passing. She
looked longingly at the vendors wares
al do love them" she unused How
much is that one with tho frilled edgeY'
Not much" said the vendor, with a
courteous smile. but win it become
you?"
May I take it home to try?" said the
young woman.
Free of charger answered the VEN
dor, with a deep bow.
Those snowy goods have all gone
out, if she did but know it" he muir
INJURED to himself. She'll appear like
fool, but that's not my affair"
Az old man drew near. and, putting
on his glasses, stopped over the wares.
"Pshawr' said he, 'these gimcraclls
arc nothing like the adjectives of my
day. The world is growing foolish, :"
and with motion of disgust he moved
on.
II must look up something for him, :"
thought the vendor. 1T will pay"
"Adjectives, sir?"
This remark was addressed to an
erect, prim gentleman, who had not
apparently noticed the vendor.
Il never use them" said the stiff
gentleman, without turning his head.
The vendor . r~rC3 lis shoulders.
But he was soon ccaeclsl fo- The re-
buff. He spied a bevy Of schoolgirls
coming down the street He drew his
feet together, and down he went in so
deem q bow that the cap in his hand
swept the ground.
''Good morning, ladies. Those on
that side are for gents" he added,
hastily, as he perceived his customers
foclzing to the wrong side of the coun-
ter.
These are the thing, of course"
sad a short, round miss with a prom
inent chin. Have you the latest from
Yale?"
Yes" said the vendor, but he looked
bewildered. The world, it seemed, had
been marching on during his stay in
tho Arctic regions But he was a
ready, shifty man.
"If you like those rough goods,
ladies', I can show you any variety.
The gents sometimes use than strung
together, but you only want an odd
one now and then, judge"
"No. indeed" said the former speak
err. II shall have mine strung together.
What do you say, girls?'
The girls bounced upon the vendors
goods. and rolled them over, and turned
them over and talked them ove-. Such
thaU 1hnSai
Some of the gentlost of the buyers
could hardly grasp their purchases,
but that only made them laugh the
harder.
"Kittie's got The nobbieet lott" they
all exclaimed, as, laden with purchases,
they departed up the street Klttie
was the short maiden, aud she had
truly chosen the longest and the most
bizarre OF the articles for sale.
The vendor of adjectives was tired.
Re sat down upon the curbstone and
wiped his brow.
who would think it," he murnured
to himself.
But he was above all man of bust
ness. His stock needed Encouragement.
He II ust bring out goods from his pack.
to take the place of those that were
sold. While he was busily working, a
group of young men lounred up to
watch him. They were the glded
youth Of the town.
The vendor did not at once accost
them. lie was no longer certain what
would please them, and he did not like
to show his ignorance. But he soon
caught by the expressions Of their faces
that the latest novelties from the Arc
tic regions were the objects Of their ad-
miration.
Hang IT," cried one-''these are
summers"
Thought the vendor: ~ will put up
the price"
The vendor began 70 be very happy
before night descended and put an end
to his traffic. His gains were enor-
nous. All day the youths and maidens
had been floc}ling to his counter. He
had tucked away the grave and solid
goods. aud had displayed only the most
tempting novelties.
When be went 70 bed that night he
set his alaru.-clock SO that it might
EwaEzs him early.
81 VIII trade of some or those snoP
worn goods on the working people"
ne thought to himself
Alas! misguided man that he was!
The sun rose bright and smiling.
When the vendor arrived at his post
the street was cleanlv swept The
shop windows were still covered with
their shutters, and only few wagons
went rafting BY. The vendor whistled
cheerfully 70 himself
Al OF a smsAen thn snn-a ~ MANI