The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-08-29
UNCLE SETH AS A cONSOLER.
Priceless Philosophy From . Man VINO
Earns 90 Cents Every Day.

Earns 90 Cents Every Day.
Wal, 30 ye he'd yer laig sawed of In
sawmill, did YEP Sawed right off two inches
above -4e kne~' Wal it's the best thing yer
could do. Hold yer horsesl Hold upl Don't
say n word! came down here on purpose
to console ye an now don't 20 to gettin riled.
/ tell ye q man ought to be happy who is
lucky enough to get his laig sawed of.
Hold on, now; don't yer see I'm consolin
yei Wen feller's tryin to say sweet words
of comfort an peace to ye it's plague-on pro
vokin TO hev re 90 an r'ar up about IL. !
tell We, Ab'rum, it's the biggest thing We
ever did wen yer went an he'd that ar laig
sawed off. It's money in yer pocket, an it
would ha been more money in yer pocket to
he'd yer other laig sawed off too-on'y in
that case yer wouldn' had no pocket TO put
yer money into He he
Oh, 80 you can't see any use in any sich
tom-fool, foi-de-roi nonsense2 / tell ye it's
Jest as true as scripter mixed with the cell
sus report that every experience man has
is worth 81 10 him. Any miserable, every
day experience Is worth 81 to him If he Is
the right kin er man. Ye know young Bob
Perkins, who couldn't earn his salt fore he
lost his right laig. Then he went circusing
ruun to all the shows In cie country as the
one laiged bicycler an made S1,Soo in one
summer. Wen be fell Off n his bicycle an
lost his other lag, he went roun with
menagerie an O circus walkin on his hands,
an no made $1,000 in one trip. II you
want to ketch fortune, you can ketch it
quicker on one laig than yer can on two,
an ye can ketch it walkin on yer hands in
no time You know oil Cy Perkins, who
wuz born up here at the Bean placer A
regular lummixi Wal, he went TO the war
an lost his laig Guess he lost it runnin
away, COZ he wus 40 scarf he allus run away
from an angleworin COZ he wuz feered 1t
wus snaik. Wal, he wuS so scarf that
wen some of the Union boys shot some
tame turkeys he heerd the firm an thought
the rebs were comm All started TO run so
fast that one laig tumbled over the other,
an he got all mixed up with hisself an
broke it. Wal, sir, he came home, an we
all kinder pitied bim-he wu2 SIGH gawk
an we made him sillickman, an mex year
we pitied him some more, COZ he WIZ
gawkier than ever, an sent him TO the leg
islatur, an I'll be dinged If the deestrict
didn't take him up an run him for congress
on his soldier record.
Wal, cir, he run good deal better than
the other man, COZ the other man didn't hev
either wooden laig or a wooden head, an
Cy was we'll supplied with both. If the
other feller he'd he'd five laigs an bicycle,
he couldn't ha' run for congress az quick az
oil Cy with bis wooden laig an his head OF
the same material.
| tell ye, Ab'rum, as l said afore, every
experience is with 81 10 man If he knows
how 10 use Il. OF course losin yer laig is
wuth thousans But every little miser'b bic
experience is with 81 If you've only got
gumption enough to carry 1t TO The right
market an sell it. Ye might give hungry
man bushel Of taters, an he would starye
TO death IL he didn't know 'nough TO cook
'em. An expenunce amt with nothin il
We don't know how to use it. Neither is
$40 bill.
| tell ye every experience Is with 81 to
We, an every man ought to hey three eX-
perfumes a day-like gettin cinder in his
eye losin his pocketbook or fallin of ahay-
mow-he oughter get three day, an that's
50. an that's Il 900 year; an so every man
who's 60 years oil ought to be with S60. 900
How oil am Il Wal, I'm co myself. How
much am / WORTH Oher-er - mighty
pleasant weather we're heyin now, amt iti
Good grass weather, good weather for
garding sass, good weather for critters,
good CROWN weather, good wealth How
much am ! wuthi Wal, I've got thirteen
dollars an some odd cents in the bank, but
then hain't never had no time 70 80 foolin
roun ~ fin q market for my experiences.
81 | can't hang roun here no longer. Bill
SIN. a is giyin me co cents day to take
care of his stock, an must hurry home TO
water the cows.-S. w Foss in New York
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