The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1893-10-29

first to arrive. Cicero has habit of tuck
ing his trousers in his boot leg when his
machine responds to an alarm and Is also
fond of donning an old SLOUGH hat. On Sat
urday night he was far from looking the
gallant fire laddie, but he ready for
work, Notwithstanding his rough personal
appearance. On arriving at the fire Cicero
bethought him that 1t would be a good idea
to secure the lay of the land before start
ing his engine and the nearest route TO
the scene of the flames was down very
dark alley he stalked ahead. He hadn't
gone far until brass-buttoned patrolman
intercepted his progress and laying hand
on the old mans shoulder turned him about
and queried:
WHO are you and what are you doing
The old fireman realized instantly that
the officer had mistaken him for "vag''
and replied:
nobody and I live where I happen to be-"
Now don't get smart with me, old man,
or I'll beef you," retorted the gallant pa
trolman drawing his club from his pocket
as he spoke At this moment another Of
ficer came up and the pair were on the
point OF calling the patrol wagon, when
Cicero concluded that the joke was growing
somewhat excessive and revealed his fden-
tity. There was no time for explanation
Many people have an exalted idea of the
office of United States marshal. They get
the impression that the marshal Is a sort
of supreme functionary. second only to the
President Of the United States. They write
to the marshal on all sorts of missions,
upon affairs over which he has no mora
control than any citizen in private life.
Some few days ago Marshal Hawkins re-
ceived the following postal card, dated
National Soldiers Home" Marion:
.'Sir-My pension for the quarter has not
vet been paid me- and is now in the hands
OF the treasurer of this home. l have sug-
gested II repeatedly but am put off. VIII
YOU please demand of the governor OF this
home that my money and papers be placed
in my possession, and l will leave this
pace i''9i CALVIN JEAN.
Company A. Sixty-sixth Ind. VOL
This is only sample of some of the
absurd requests we receive, explained the
a woman came in here with the complaint
that her husband was drinking up all his
pension money. She wanted US TO either
take the money away from him or get her
a divorce. She was not particular which
of these We dld
Cal Darnell the political sage Of the
Third ward. was indignant as he marched
into the City Hall basement the other day.
He had heard that the banana carts were 10
he moved off Washington street.
"mst my luck" he clustered. ito have
these banana carts moved off the streets
What's my horse Dobbins going TO do?
That's what / would like TO know. Don't
know about my horse? Well, that animals
the most intelligent beast you ever saw
Sometimes when / come down town IN the
morning 1 leave that horse standing on
the street. and when l come TO look for
him he is gone. Yes. sir. gone after a
barana wagon. He il connotsselr on
bananas When the eye or the peddier is
of his wagon, Dobbins will just snoop a
banana and down she goes, peeling and all.
One day some brutal peddler left railroad
couplina. pin in his wagon and my eorse
DoIbins nearly choked himself to death
why don't you feed that horse. Cal?'
suggested n bystander
ION, you go TO grass. You didn't vote Tor
Denny, anyhow" snapped the controller OF
Kenwood and then he drifted to another
subject.
IL Is the proper thing for Columbian fair
excursionists TO be deeply impressed at the
first sight OF Lake Michigan. but II didn't
work that way on the hfteen-year-old boy
who was on the Pennsylvania train that
reached Chicago last Sunday morning. The
lake could bo seen In the distance stretch