Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1893-03-09
sprinkIcs OF spice.


is OF absorbing interest. Troy Press.
THE poker-player does not use Wis
iting cards when he is calling. Plea
yune. t 80
NAILS should be sold at auction.
They go well under the hammer
Picayune.
The winter girl has one satisfac-
tion-it's chappy eather.-Philadel-
phia Record.
SOMETIMES man Is so deep that
he is absolutely without foundation.
Galveston News.
BIOLOGISTS say the cradle of the
deep has nothing to do with making
the bed rock. Texas Siftings.
You realize that silence is golden
when you come to settle for a case of
umm.-Binghamton Leader.
ILLUsTRIoUs ancestry is a glorious
thing to have, but IL won't be taken
as security for hot stew. Chester
(Pa.) News.
ONE is sometimes surprised at hay-
ing bought goods so cheap-until
after the peddler is gone. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Suppose man should
call you liar, what would you do?"
Jones (hesitatingly) =" what sized
man?"-Tid-Bits
THE worst about the average crank
is that while he inevitably turns up
he objects to being turned down
Philadelphia Times.
BEssIE--He was very impudent.
He put his arm around me twice.
Jessie-Humph! He must have had
very long arm.-Puck
A MAN never realizes how mHeh
furniture he owns until he tries to
walk rapidly through the house in
the dark.-Etoile Beige.
Mr.. YoUNGHUsBAND-~ Darling, you
have been weeping. What Is 1t my
sweetest loye?" Mrs. YOunghusbaDd
-"Horeseradish."- Bits.
STRANGER Ito Pat, drinking apol-
linaris)-"Ho does 1t taste, Pata"
Pat-"Faith, it tastes like as X my fut
was asleep. Harvard LampOon
YOUNG NUwED is having hard
time in his venture into matrimony."
"How Is that?" Neither his wife
nor his servant girl know how TO
cook. New York Press.
HE-Do you love me, darlinga
She-Sometimes / think do, and
then again, when you have on that
hideous baggy new overcoat, l doubt
the strength of my affection.-Tid-
Bits.
LITTLE JOHNNY May / hitch the
dog to my sled and have him pull
me? Mother-rm afraid he will
bite you. Little Johnny-It's the
other end I'm going to hitch. Good
News.
A GENTLE HINT. Short-Eh!
Beg pardon, Miss Wosalie, butch
isn't that mistletoe that you have in
| your hair? Miss Rosalie-Yes, Mr..
Short, 1t is What Of it?-Harpdr's
Bazaar.
"WHY did you arrest this MANI"
asked the judge, sternly. For prac-
tice," returned the policeman. I'm
new on the force, and 1 wanted to
learn how, your honor. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
GENT should like to have my
photo taken, but / want it to be
nice-looking. Photographer-Ne
fear, sir, it shall be so handsome that
| you won't know it yourself-Der
| Schalk.
FIRST CLoTHIER-Your're fool to
call that suit the Rip Van Wrinkle.
Second Clothier-What would you
call it? First Clothier-The never
Rip Van Wrinkle, man!-The Cloth
iers' Weekly.
Miss PoRTER-Did you notice the
blank look of that gentleman who
sat down on his silk hat? Mr.. MUIR
rayZNo; but I'm glad you didn't
hear the blank words he used
Princeton Tiger.
A CHANCE TO RIsE.-Butcher-I
need boy about your size and will
give you SO week. Applicant
Will have a chance to rise? "Yes;
/ want you to be here at o'clock
every morning. Life.
MRS. TIMOTHY SEED-@Where's
Lizzie?" Miss Gaskett-@I just left
her in the arms of Morpheus" Mrs.
Timothy Seed (scandalized)- What!
And she engaged to Joe Pender. Show
me where she Is this minute"
DOMESTIC PEACE ASSURED. Wife
And so you got your life insured
for my benefit That's lovelyl" Hus-
band-"Yes, my dear; but, just re-
member, If you drive me to suicide
you won't get a cent."-New York
Weekly.
MRS. HICKs--Why, Mrs. Dix, how
pale you look. Mrs. Dix-Yes; I've
been having lots of trouble lately
with boil. Mrs. Hicks-Im so
sorry. Was it on your neckp Mrs.
Dix-No; it was on my husband. =
Somerville Journal.
SALESMAN great store)-This coat
fits your little girl nicely. Lady
(thinking Of next seasonl Yes, it
does now, but 1 think we'd better
take size larger. Little Girl--Oh,
yes, / forgot, We have to wait f1r
our change. news.
al DON'T know what has come
over our son since he went to work
in shoe store" said Mrs. Blaggins.
ale was looking at the calendar, and
he spoke of the figure as 3, and 4
as 2. His mind musC be going
wrong" "Oh," replied her husband.
that's all right. They have put
l. H.. -