New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1893-02-23

......, ,ror its esteemed contemporary
After first DENYING the charge that hahS.'' Nv
mon yben wearing full dress" ma thehsoi.'
with n large stock of hands in their possesnr,"
which they don't know what 70 do wi'h' i"0
Palladium" makes half admission VI ne 49,
hut adds that they know what to DO WIN '"c'N
"a wclI os men anywhere" Then 1t Dolby OPENS
an interesting inquiry by asking VIII. III num-, ~, ,
soIf.rcsnoctinc man is going to do win MS
hands ANYHOW when logged out in evening
dress 2" .
After all does not the slightly violent inquiry
of "The Palladium" contain that COMMON '"S
far from fattenng nourshmcnt known as ioou
for thought? What can even man VII" ish
self-rcspecting do with his hands whiie iuin"i :,
in dress suitp Let em hang, Of course,
will I've the reply Of the quick ana pehe.r"'i's
reader. and. no doubt that is the best thing lie
can do. hut IL occurs to us that it should not
he so. The dress suit is defective; II Is DC
hind the are il does not meet the requirements
of civiIizcd man The man who can wear drcs'
sut and let his hands hang and swing ABOUT
without experiencing n sense Of discomfort SHOWS
an instance OF atavism. Man originally, OF course
Let his hands dangle and whip about MIN III
every passing wind. He also ate his 1904 ra"
and lived in n cave with dark rooms, ana per-
hans n family in tho next cave with chilurch.
In this primitive condition OF lie man ''u
but little to do, so he did not ina IL diil'cu'
to look after his hands, even II ne hao 'o
place to put them But rs he advanced lie hau
other things to take up his attention ava
thoughts, and relief from the constant strain "
attending to his hands became Imperative
place where his hands could repose IN coihlor'
while his active mind continued TO wrestle WIN
important problems was seen to be a necessary
The result was the invention of inc TROUSERS
poclet. the natural home of the human mascu-
line hands. Woman, not having any weieh"
thoughts like man, and consequently being freo
TO look after her hands, has never de'eiope"
any pockcts for them.
Ono Of the most difficult problems which the
scientist has TO encounter is why man. after
having throurh lonr years Of evolution devel-
orcd "A satisfactory pocket for his hands. should
deliberately give It up in the dress suit FOR
the trousers Of the dress suit. not always. OF
course but in majority OF cases, VIC thpk'
taking the country a. whole. are entirely waht'
ing i'm pockets or the pockets are rndimentnry, or
they are placed in such a position that IL i
harder work to keep the hands In them thah IL
l. 10 attend 10 them outside. Or course 'hc
man who puts on dress suit every evening at
G o'clock becomes In time accustomed 10 th1'
unnatural condition in measure ana even APP
pears quite Mt his while his hands are
loosely swaying ut his sides. But even III his
case il il largely the appearance oil ease Ill"
bis tbouohts frequently revert 20 his former
pockctcd state. But in the case OF the man WHO
vc,rs his dress suit only half n dozen or n dozen
times n year the positive misery invoNed IN
suddenly having n pair Of orphan hands
tbruet rnon him l. always considerable. and
Frequently il is intense. 1t is lack Of trousers
rockets for his hands which makes man FOR
90, all the GOOD things he was going TO say
in his after-dinncr speech: he thinks OF them
easily enough the ncAt day when lie can ge'
rid Of his hands. IL is the mental strain Oh
Getting along without trousers pockets when
Frequently brings u man home from an enter
tainmcnt in a demoralized condition. whlch MS
wifi. fool-hly ascribes 10 drink. when p"rnapS
lao bosn't had but five or six kinds of wine, with
\ little brandy and n miscellaneous lqueur or
.vo Statistics show that only one young man
IN n thousand can successfully propose marriage
in n dress suit. the difficulty being solely the
amount of attention which his hands demand
II is hard. OF course. for n woman To understand
,bis ching never herself having felt the need
of a suitable retreat for her hands; but women
orc Going 10 discover when they come TO vote. and
10 annex distant islands. not TO mention learn
ing TO play poker. that they will have to have
s,orocc facilities for their hands, or be left H.
the poitical race. Mrs. Lease recognized thl'
and had not the rumorcd approach OF crlnoilh'
caused her 10 withdraw, she would have gone
into the Senate with little outside velvet peck
cts for her hands hanging from her waist ny
cord.
II our Kansas City contemporaries can work u
reform in the dress suit as regards pocKets' IL
will b. the proudest journalistic feat Oh tic
year.
", Nork vcStprlaV o.