Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-10-07
THE ART OF Conversation.
Some SuggestiOns to Those Who De
sire to Excel In 1t.

Some SussestiOns to Those Who De-
sire to Excel I'm 1t.
From Good Housekeeping
A talent for conversation has an extra
ordinary value for common every day life.
Any one who has the gift enters in a social
circle anywhere. How every ones face
brightens at his coming. How soon he
sets all the little wheels in motion, encour-
aging the resources of the reserved and
shy. subsidizing facile. and making every
body glad and happy AS civilization ripens
and the social life improves. so language
continually assumes new and higher forms,
and conversation-which Is a sort of radia-
ton of the intellect-gives a luster which no
other form of expression can to the higher
developments of our intellectual moral ma
ture. Our language is not merely expressive
or our wants-it is communicative of ideas
and impulse that stand far above all mate
rial things-a streaming out of the soul
or man to make common cause with his
fellows. ~
To converse well is not to engross the con-
versation- II is not to do all the talking
1t Is not necessary to talk with very great
Dr1liiancy. A man may talk with such sur
passing power and splendor as to awe the
rest OF the company into silence, or to ex-
cite their envy, and so produce chill where
his aim should be to produce heat and sun
shine Those who aspire to the enjoyment
or feast OF reason and flow of soul''
must learn to listen patiently, and without
oetraying an anxiety to speak themselves,
or patronizing condescension to the speak,
er. We are all a little egotistical, but in the
moment We betray 1t we become obnoxious
conversation Is like game of see-saw
as one goes up another goes down, but
the game Is over in an instant If the two
ends are up at the same time. The mo-
ment, therefore, that a person essays to
speak, give way, no matter what good
M on6x
II In the midst of a narrative which you
are relating some bore should break in
with an interruption to displace you let
a ,i nave MS way at once; suspend your
dialogue and let him go on, and he will,
unless hard as granite, feel your forbear-
ance TO be much greater blow to his rude
ness than II you were to persevere. A per-
son so breaking the thread Of another's dis
course deserves severe rebuke. and Won will
md none so severe 50 salutary as a polite
yielding at once-not sulkily and with a
frown. but with fullest disposition to hear
him Patiently, and to enjoy his obtrusiye
nonsense.
Self-possession must be cultivated by the
conversationalist, that he NAV not run
away headlong and say many things that
he may afterwards regret. This Is the
source of that gentlemanly reserve which
distinguishes the man of refinement from
the mere bore, and begets that patience in
listening and that generous spirit of ap-
probation which makes a speaker feel as
much pleased with his heareres as with
himself. He should seek the art of making
others feel quite at home with him, so that
no matter how great may be his attain
ments or reputation, or how small may be
theirs. they find it just as natural and pleas
ant talking to him as hearing him talk The
talent for conversation, indeed, more than
anything else in life. requires tact and dis
creuon- IL requires one to have more varied
knowledge, and to leave ii at instant and
absolute disposal, SO that he can use lust
as much or just as little as the occasion de-
mands- IL requires the ability to pass in
stantly and with ease from the playful to
the serious. from books to men, and from
the mere phrase of courtesy to the express
sion of sentiment and passion