davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

;, A SETTLER on the western shores
Of Oregon has gotten himself into
great trouble with the United States
Government. A lighthouse keeper
near him obtained permission to erect
small shed for the storing of his
boats gratuitously, The keeper was
removed some time ago and new
man appointed. The settler imme-
diately proceeded to knock the lock
off the boat-house and take posses
sion, whereupon the lighthouse
keeper informed him that he was liza
bic to Imprisonment in the peniten-
tiary for five years and proportion
ate fne, Notwithstanding that the
house was on his own property.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
Not Much of a Company.

A British regiment stationed in
India had listened to a sermon on
"the company of apostles" from it.
padre" now colonial bishop. AS
the officers sat at mess the sermon
came up in the conversation and vari-
Gus opinions of its merits were heard.
Presently the Adjutant, silent.
saturnine man who had risen from
the ranks, remarked: "To tell the
truth, / don't think much of the
apostles as company-only twelve.
rank and f1le"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
Not a Desirable lob.

The Coptic patriarch of Alexandria
IS never allowed to sleep more than
nfteen minutes at any one time, and
II the attendant should allow the
holy ones nap to extend beyond the
allotted time the penalty is decan-
ltatlon. Upon being aroused at the
eno OF each quarter hour the patriarch
arises and spreads his rug upon the
floor, kneels upon it, bows his head
uhree times to the east and then
again retires. NA
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

ELECTRICITY is gradually taking
the place of oil for locomotive head
lights. One ST. Louis road, the Van
dalia, has fourteen locomotives equip
ped with the new light, and is adding
to the number every week. The re-
cent rear-end collision on the Illinois
Central Road would probably not
have occurred had the engine of the
second section been provided with an
electric light.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
cOMEBODY says a man should be

SOMEBODY says man should be al
ways a little bigger than bis wife,
and a little Older, a lite brave, and
little stronger, a little wiser, and a
little more in love with her than she
is with him. A woman should al
ways be a little younger, and little
prettier, and a little more consider
ate than her husband. Very likely.
If husbands and wives were made to
order, what pretty, proper, unendura-
BILE creatures they would be.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
The Office Cats,

Tom and Irene are no Long
this earth. Their souls have
to the great unknown, says \
perior Inland Ocean. I0n)
Irene were the feline mascOS1
Leader building and their ~I
death brings desolation 10
community of prints, lf0l|
horse down to the devil.
The cats had inhabited \
composiDg-room of the Leada
past three months. They WeF1
creatures and obtained theN1
ance from the abundant SUI
"pi" which was scattered aul
floor. They had become N1
prints" adopting their CUSTOM u, \
guage and hours, going TO OFu1
the morning and arising "
But they were curious cats an
in lay their doom. They Osl
the battery jars of the teles N
strument and partook c0m aY7
the creased lightning l%tl
was electrical. In a few Snv, .
Irene was wrapped in the sI1
death. But Tom, who n sar
from the third story Wlnuv .'sl
and otherwise shown MS sl .'l
acity of life, hung on lol am !,
thirty-six hours, when liz u, n
cumbed. Death came u ~
o'clock Thursday morning
The funeral exercises s W.
and touching. The "prln1,
mously voted an adjournp,tbbs
minutes out of respect TO l@ n,
The cats lay stretched u 1PS;nb 4
posing-stone while Slug NJ b'so of
ing]y recited "The Dea. Snare
Nell" during which proceeu nith
could be heard dropping o WV
reports upon the grimy 30g Top
all that was mortal u IN
Irene had been consjgnet.b ei-
the ~ prints int went back :, to the tss
with a firm resolve Clia . tbs
time they got a maS' wv d /
keep the battery jars o surrn,Dabf
The prints" have tEe ,''Tn,1nitE
the entire newspaper c0'n~
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
This Was Ages 40,

Evidences of preglacial river have
been found, which in earlier age,
drained Lake Michigan westward in
to what is now the Mississippi River
Some of the places where this river
run are covered by nearly two hun
dred feet of deposit, but the silt (which
occupies the rivers bed is black and
contains shells which show remains
of earlier animal life. probably before
men lived on this planet.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

For the benefit of those struggling
with Portuguese orthoepy in Brazilian
proper names we will state that the
final vowels in words like "Sao Joao"
are to be pronounced like down-east
Yankee farmer with hay fever imi
tating a garrulous and jealous cat.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
*. RESIDED IN Az,

''erman DID j,
of His country's can, a y
Professor Heinrich B snp'''l
University Of Berlin, tb sNa
tiuguished living egypto Ios a(s
fishing my Life and WsssE.
which are interesting, MT "aaa
count of the revelation NJ, ~ eal
thor,s personality and th VI
cences of celebrated scie rtt
earlier half of this centn ,,'
they contain, but also nv uty
dotes which the great say,s se
happy faculty of relatinra p
them, quoted by the p5n,,
Ledger, may furnish a hint al
OF our own globe trotts,
Professor Brugsch's fret t'', \
Alexandria he lodged with y,
nal by the name of Bauernt''a
birth a Mecklenburger, anda
gigantic strength AMI statrr
combined the office of prussi'
Consul with the condunt NJ
shop. He was generally h.
the sobrlQuet of Father I,,l
He rendered important ss s
many ways, and Professor N
made him promise that il
came to Berlin again he vonp
him.
Some years afterward FatbpI
field appeared one morninr |
Professors rooms in Berlin
the customary greetings ri
Brugsch inquired;
Where are you STAYING i
Langfeld?"
Here, below.
What. In the same hons
me: That a curious coincjdnl
Not at all. In a cab"
"Ah, you have Just come md
station and are looking for n
"On the contrary; lived jptl
since Yesterday"
What in the name Of ed
sense Go you mean? And vm|
gage"
Garry it with me-" and vl
fat right hand he patted sn|
slung on his shoulder by a
strap. "Here are brush, comb
and money"
But please explain yougel.
clearly: I don't understand ad
Not much to explain, Lip
and night in the cab; sleepn]
a couple Of hours in the stable
cred with a horse blanket. Sud
you know, Cabman shows me |
thing worth seeing-intelligen
low-spares me the expenseotl|
de place. Eat and drink web
everything, hear everything
everything. Cab stops, | geto]
ceive instructions, and explore
man waits till ! get back. Ii |
linen or anything, buy it al
gets all that | cast of. QUITE
tent. No extra luggage torI
no hotel bills, no tips, 10 bund4
questions; everything all right
three days longer. Now, Hem
tor. put on your coat and visit
my hotel. Let the cabman di1
whittier he will. Very CONVEX
Father Langfeld had already
Trieste, Vienna, and Prague
same fashion, and firmly belie|
was the only way to see the \
He subsequently applied his \
with equal success to Paris and
don. 1t has merits; whetha
are not more than cOunteral
by its disadvantages each indy
must determine for himself
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

opposite direction In order to re-
turn by balloon it would be necessary
to 60 around the world. Prof. Hazen
thinks there is no reason why bal.
loon voyages around the globe should
not be made some day. He believes
the north pole will eventually be
reached by aerial navigation.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
Our First Flag

The first strictly n 1os 10;
raised in the United oVeV1W WASH
ed over the capital av roe 81
February "a, 1866 ! IL , nmossricao
feet, and was made Of !: Ap Lowell,
ing manufactured II boe,, ~
previous flags had D'
English material.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

EXCLUDING about sixty-two thou
sand small craft, the commerce of the
world is carried on by forty five thou
sand vessels of twenty million five
hundred thousand registered tons,
with a carrying capacity Of forty
eight million.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

paper that have been fundamentally
measured are put In the machine and
the record is found to agree perfectly
with that laboriously performed by
the old-fashioned hand method. The
Importance of checking sales and de.
liveries Of leather can not be over
estimated.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

A CHICAGO schoOl-teacher favors
the readers of a current magazine
with his views On what a Daily
Newspaper Might Be Made" In
the vernacular it appears he would
make monkey of it.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
TWIN SCREWS ON A BICYCLE.

A New Jersey Plumbers Plan for Increas-
ing the Speed of Tandem Wheels.
Frederick Heller, a plum Der living
in Caldwell, N. j., who is a promi-
nent cyclist in that place, has devils
ed a scheme for the auxiliary pro-
polling of bicycles, which he thinks
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
A Large Order

Nine. Newriche-"I want first
class passage for Havre."
Inc agent of the Standard Line
Yes, ma'am."
NINE Newriche-"And I want =
smooth passage, no matter what the
cost" oA0
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

A SOUTHERN newspaper says that
nearly every house in Honolulu has a
telephone. They are certainly hav-
ing "hello" of time there
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

"UTAH may have it's plural wives, F"
observes Mr.. Quilp, "but other parts
Of the country have very singular
ones"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

IT is always best that the truth
about everything should be known
to everybody.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
We're Willing to Believe -

Inc gnat is provided with req
u,ar SET OF lancets and cupping
glass; from which the air can be with.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

GREAT are the resources of the adj
vertising agent. Hattie Weems. an
actress, goes She divorce dodge one
better and attempts suicide because
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
Natural Change.

Ducats were originally dukes
money; first made in the Duchy of
Apulla in l14O.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
Rotanical item :

Plants placed under aDa lnt
starve, because ivy ), no atDf'
carbonic acid from tno
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

like comet, for trail of mud and
water extended for some distance in
the air behind him as he whiZZed
along.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28
We Bcas

The United states o,,ntriss
place among the IJ,,ctjoD
world in wheat proau0'
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-12-28

0. B. MOON. Editor and Proprietor
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
The Fertilization of Willows,

Some singular exceptions GRO found to
rules generally deemed absolute. and re-
markable ones have recently been noted
in connection with theories recently
established in regard to the relations
between flowers and insects. Flowers
have to be fortified by pollen before
they can be productive. Most flowers
have stamens or pollen bearing organs
and pistils, the reproductive organs, in
the same flower, but these separate or
gans maturing at different times the
wind or insects are agents for carrying
the fertilizing pollen to other flowers
than those which bear it. This is known
as cross fertilization.
Those flowers only which require the
aid of insects have color or fragrance.
This is said to be On arrangement for at
tracing insects and insuring cross fer
tilization by their aid. But the exception
comes III the case Of willows which are
in bloom in early spring and often COM
monty known as pussy CATS" Though
in the class fortified by the wind, they
have bright golden color and delight
full fragrance. and the philosophers are
at loss to understand what this excep-
ton means.-Philadelp Times. rs
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
Moses and His Horns.

Did Moses have horns? Certainly not,
but If you have ever had the pleasure of
examining a copy Of Michael Angeles
great picture Of The Lawgiver'' you
have wondered why the great painter
surmounted the patriarchal face, gray
beard and becoming priestly gown with
a pair of horns much resembling those
OF 2-year-old animal of the bovine
tribe. The reason is this: Jerome's Bi.
BILE, the Latin Vulgate, tells that when
Moses came down from the mountain
top his face was radiant" (rayeD with
the great light shining from his pure
soul In the Greek Septuagint the trans
lation said it was .'cornua," meaning
radiant" Jerome used this later YER
sion in making his Latin Vulgate and
translated ''cornua" as "cornuta," the
last meaning horned. Angelo made
his picture Philadelphia
Press
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
Ideas of Heaven.

There used to be popular form of
torture. in the form Of Books of Cues
TONS" which once figured on most draw
ing room tables, and in which visitors
were expected to write their definitions
of happiness. misery" etc. How diff
sferent. by the way, would be many def
nitions of both these conditions! The
old woman's idea Of heaven as a place
where she would sit all day in clean
apron and knit and sing hymns" would
not be an entirely satisfying ideal to some
minds, while Cowley might have sympa-
thized with the denizen of town Stun.
who on her deathbed, being comforted
with illusions to the golden city, >
promptly retorted, ..Oh. no; If ever ret
to heaven, hope shall be let to live in
the country London Standard.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
The Religious Denominations,

In the order Of their numerical
strength, in rough figures, the great
churches of this country stand thus, &C.
cording to the last census: Roman Cath
olic. 7,O00,00o; Methodist, 5,000,00O; Bap-
fist, 4.00O.o0o: Presbyterian, 100000;
Lutheran. 1.250,000; the rest of the Prot
estant co1nmunions. counted together,
about 100000. The Presbyterians COM
prise Aess than tenth of the total
Protestant membership, but the sub.
stance Of the doctrine of the West1nin-
ster confession is the faith of about one
half.-New York Sun.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
Fighting Among Amorous Animals.

Among the lower animals sexual Sc
lection prompts combats which often
end only with the death Of the weaker
rival. Male black snakes are apt not
only to kill, but to swallow g vanquished
competitor for the favors of a dus.zy
charmer, and the champion bucks of the
oryx antelore use their sharp horns to
stab the pretenders who venture to chal-
lenge their supremacy. The males of the
yellow breasted pine mink have been
known to tumble out of high tree top
in the blind fury of their courtship COM
bats. The cocks of the Alpine mountain
grouse neither see nor hearin their eager
ness to demolish q rival and have thus
been actually taken alive. struggling in
the very hands Of their captor-not to
escape, but to finish their work of venge-
ance.-San Francisco Chronicle.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
Getting Something Like II.

The following little experience, re-
Gently enjoyed by well known tenor.
seems worthy of narration. Having
mislaid his copy Of Handel's air. ..Wher-
e'er You Walk, = the artist in question
sent a faithful but unmusical servant to
procure a copy of the song. In due
course the messenger reappeared, bear
ing in place of the required piece Ger
tain music hall ditty entitled, ST Like a
Little Toddle Down Regent Stree" not
by Handel.
He had failed to secure the object ct
his quest and SO, imagining that words
Of an ambulant tendency were the chief
desideratum, had picked out what he
thought to be 1.-THE nearest thing" The
story certainly seems to require grain
of salt for its due assimila tion, but i
must be borne in mind that truth is
stranger than fiction. Sheffield Te1es
graph. s.8
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
= Why 20 Did Not Smoke,

Have a cigar said one Wall street
broker to another in down town res
taurant the other day:
THANK you, no. have quit smok-
ing" was the brisk reply II have quit
for a year,
''Indeed?' que-ied the first speaker.
How is that?'
well, it stands me in clean 81 900,
besides what l save by not buying any
cigars. The old gentleman offered to give
me 81 900 in cash if would not smoke
for year, and took him up. He is dead
set against the tobacco habit"
''What are you going to do at the end
of the year?''
"Eh? Well. don't know, but | can
strike dad for $4,000 for another years
abstinence. New York Times.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31

~ and Unpr ofitable Day.
They had been married years and years,
yet never had he gone away from the
breakfast table in the morning without
goodby kiss until friend came to visit
them one Of those cynical, time soured
bachelors who find fault with every body
md everything and decide for them
selves that the Whole scheme of creation
is wrong.
TIE friend did not say anything at the
time, although the kiss Jared on his
sense Of the proprieties. but he waited
until he had lis host by the ear. SO to
speak. then he said:
on seem to keep the honeymoon
pretty well, George. Must bea deuced
bore. too. when the romance is over
Then good, weak George began to get
wabbly in his mind and had d silly fear
chat his friend was making fun Of him.
Yes he said as he lighted a cigar,
st is rathe,. a bore. don't you know, but
the little woman expects it..
81 dare say" resumed the friend, .sbut
wouldn't coddle her any more if l were
you It's too-too domestic. you see. for
this age. Makes a man seem spoony and
weak
Eyes. I've thought SO myself. Guess
I'll turn over new leaf with the little
woman
The little woman, who had more sense
in her least fingei. than George had in
his whole body. was greatly surprised
when her husband threw his breakfast
napkin on lis plate. rose in haste. and
: with a cacizied Ia ia. dear" ran OFF
without the customary salute. But she
didn't say anything and bided her time.
, 1t came sooner than was expected.
George went home at night without
/ the friend, who had returned whence he
came. At dinner George was silent and
norose. and the littlc woman asked:
Anything gone wrong; today
Yes Everything. Lost SEQ cut Of
my vest pocket
TOO bad. but it might have been
| worse
Then | mislaid some valuable papers
that carried in the inside pocket of my
coat-it's just been one of ny worrying
days. don't yon know %
George" said Che little woman in a
calm. sweet voice. don't you think it all
happened because you went away with
out a goodby kiss? I've had Il worrying
day, too. and laid it all to that"
"By Jove. little v:o;na1, believe you're
right. Queer. hut really believe there's
something in it.
And here is the money. You dropped
it on the hall floor in your hurry. And
the papers are probably in your other
coa:-you know! yo7' changed this morn
ing
THAT settles it, little wolnan," and
George gave her the kiss he had omitted
in the morning with interest, and if the
friend could have seen it he would have
CRASHED his teet:,-but he didn't. DE
troit Free Press.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
a 90 IN IA !.
It rains. What lady loves rainy dayf
Not she who puts prunella on her foot,

it rains. What lady loves rainy day7
Not she who puts prunella on her foot,
Zephyrs around her neck and silken socks
Upon graceful ankle-nort she who
Sports her tasseled parasol along s}ts
The walks, beau crowded, on some sunny noon
Or trips in muslin on winters night
On cold sleighride to a distant ball.
She loves rainy day who sweeps the hearth
And threads the busy needle, or applies
The scissors to the torn or threadbare sleeve;
Who blesses Gcd that she has friends and
home: r~ EEEse. ~
Who in the peitiag of the storm will think
Of some poor neighboc that she can befriend;
Who trims the lamp at night and reads aloud
To g young brother tales he loves to hear,
Or ventures cheerfuily abroad to watch ..
The bedside OF some sick and suffering friend
Administering that best OF medicine ."
Kindness, tender care and cheering hope:
Such are rot sad, cen on a rainy day .
j. G. B"ainard.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
An Improvement For q New Broom.

A Bangor man has invented broom
that can be adjusted to any angle so that
thenooks can be swept without dislocat-
ing the operators back. It should be
accompanied, in order to be practical,
by an adjustable telescope, for there
are many neat housewives who will in
sist on looking into those crannies to be
sure every speck of dirt is removed
Kennebec Journal.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31

Charles Henry Pearson, an English
man, has written a book in which be
claims to have proved that the great
races of the world are losing ground. and
that the Chinese, Hindoos and South
American half breeds are the coming
leaders Of civilization.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
An Approprtate Emb,.m.

An Irish laborer, a great favorite with
his fellow Workmen, was honored at his
funeral by their offering Of an enormous
floral anchor. The widow had never
seen the like, but mother wit helped her
to its name she thanked the givers
warmly for Patsy's pick. = Exchange.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31

The great ant bear of the South Amer
lean forests contrives to intimidate his
feline enemies by rearing up to his full
length, but by that very trick gives the
hunter chance to take deadly aim at
his heart.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31

It is remarkable how frequently the
games peculiar to different peoples take
some form calculated to test severely
the hardihood. the powers of endurance
and the Indifference to pain Of the play
ers 1
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31
.ne Went Fishing After All.

~ pretty StOIy Is loiN u d yOul5 mar
ried couple at one of the hotels. Both
were telegraph operators, and both were
at one time stationed at keys almost
1000 miles apart, yet on the same line,
in the far west. They began talking
over the wires. The groom, mistaking
his future bride for a man. was allowed
by her to believe such was the case.
Some of his remarks were FOR male ears
only, but he always got reply Final
ly lone hot day Bob called up *" and
said: "What do you say to trip in the
mountains trout fishing? Imagine wad-
ing through cool brooks in weather li,zo
this
u would like to co. came back the
reply, but have no rubber boots
''Oh, neither have L. That shouldn't
worry you. All you have to do is to roll
up your trousers and wade in"
For some reason Ky did not reply
and the friendship was broken. On his
way to the mountains Bob stopped over
at ks station. In the telegraph room
he found a pretty, blue eyed girl, about
90. Then he learned all. Two weeks
later, as she hid her face on his shoulder,
she remarked, Il didn't think you would
like girl who would not roll up-who
would not go fishing" Washington
News
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1893-05-31

Put a pinch of cayenne on a piece Of
lemon before you squeeze i over Little
Necks or Blue Points and tniey the COM
bination SIS