The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1893-04-23
FUN FOR CITY YOUTHS.
SINGULAR IDEAS or SPORT THATTs
LAUGH PROVORISG.
Amusement From tho Point OF View of the
Ragged Urchin-Qualitles That Are
Essential to be Appreciated.


fun? Now don't all speak at once. Per.
haps you don't know as much about fun as
you think you do 1t may be that you have
been so restricted by your environment,
that you have never seen or had the real
crude article, and perhaps it will be a new
suggestion to you when tell you that fun
is one of those many good things which de-
preciates and is apt 10 lose its germ by be
ing superrehned.
There is no end Of fun in this world. The
city of New York is fairly effervescent with
il. 1t turks unseen in every alleyway. wait
ing to tickle you between the ribs and send
you off into commissions. The most sedate
and sterile streets abound in latent fun II
you only possess sufficient sense Of humor
TO find it out and overcome its inertia
There are a few essentials however, which
it is absolutely necessary that you should
possess before you can explore the ultimate
recesses where fun seeks seclusion.
You must be years old. You must be
poor You must be ragged. You must I've
In the vcinage of Mulberry, Bayad and
Baxter streets. OF course you can have
some fun if you are years old-or O. But
should advise you 20 be as near as pos
sible because at that age your sense q
humor is broad, unabridged and pure Y0l
must be poor in order thst you may appre.
ciate fun in its crude state; ragged, because
that gives you immunity from injuring
your clothes-an abandon, so 20 speak You
must live in Poverty Flat" because there
you will have the greatest scope and the
most fertile field in which 20 display your
ingenuity. Being thus armed and equippel
by both nature and fortune, you will 70
forth in quest Of fun.
What is funy The answer may be summed
up in the one word, "Aggrayation. Per
haps you won't find the word given as
synonym in the dictionary, but that is sim
ply because Noah Webster didn't have his
fun in that way There Is, to be sure
time honored but most delusive aphor.m
10 the effect that 'tO be good is 10 be hap
py." You and will readily discard such
sophistry. We would remark that "to bee
aggravating is to be happy" For example
The barber, NJ. Raven, has a nice, clean
window pane. He washes it every morn.
ing in order that the passersby may look In
and see how coy and inviting his estab-
lishment is and how his customers stretch
out at their ease in his big, comfortable
chair This is a splendid opportunity for
fun. You go along and breathe on his win
dow pane. BY pressing your fece against
the pane till your nose is quite fiat and
breathing quick and hard you can manage
to steam over quite a large surface in a
short time
Then, when the barber shakes his fist a.
you and makes a pretence Of leaving his
customer half lathered, to run after you
you can indulge in a species Of 5-fnger eX-
ercses, which is very irritating-that is.
you elevate your hand 20 the level Of your
nose, extend your thumb until 10 touches
the tip of that organ and wiggle waggie
your fingers. This has been called con
densed irony" and will surely cause the
barber great annoyance. while at the same
time, at your susceptible age. rendering
You lots of pure, unadulterated fun. Ifyou
wish to further indulge your sense of hui
NOR at the expense Of the barber, you eau
write your name with a flourish on the
pane where you have steamed it,
You are ragged, and the natural imprints
which your feet leave in the newly fallen
snow show that you are barefooted. Very
good. Can't a boy laugh with his boots
OIL, would like to knowi Did ever a man
absorb any humorous propensities from
his shoes and stockings? You and have
heard of those people who can't tell joke
from side of sole leather, and they are
the misanthropes who look upon bare
footed childhood as one lacking in fun and
devoid of happiness.
Another source Of fun is this: You get an
Did tin pail, ill it with lime and pour In
water to set fire 20 the lime.
Then you fasten a piece Of wire to your
pail and whirl it around your head furi-
Dusly. This will not only brighten horses
10 the verge of madness, but is a legitimate
source Of fun per Sc.
Again, you procure an old stOcking-any
,olor will do-the length is the important
actor. The foot of this you ill with -four
md, by the way, as the victim OF this little
oke rarely, if ever, gets the right perspec
i've in looking at it from his standpoint
you would better have partner in your
enterprise, or better still, four or five. But,
IA! ha! | see you catch my idea at once.
Yes, herein lies your opportunity 10 get
wen with the boy who wears better clothes
han you do. You flour bag him, so 10
speak. Your exquisite sense Of humog will
attract you toward some boy whose clothes
Ire dark-black preferred. This is, more
over, an instructive maneuyer. You are
for the time being, in tho act
If swinging your loaded stocking, the op.
,rations of the centripetal and centrifugal
iorces, and you uncOnsciOusly absorb GER
ain amount Of practical knowledge there
)y, much as the nursery babes do who
construct houses out Of blocks labeled
RATS" etc, respectively.
Another rare bit Of legitimate and highly
sport is this: You can walk
llong very softly behind some nervous old
till you see At distance ahead
If you one Of your Daniel boon compan-
ons. Then you rush forward like a ma
liac and at the same instant let out yen
hat will freeze the blood in bis veins"
.ay nothing Of his arteries and heart. You
ire merely calling TO your playmate, anc
low can any man in his right mind take
,hense ct you for that?
Above all things, be cautious Avoid
getting into trouble. Alas you are com
lelled 20 bear in mind that not every per
ION who has advanced somewhat beyond
FOUR happy time OF life WAS ever endowed
With, or, il So still retains, your Keen, mn
ieiied, unadulterated ana unoounded
,ease Of humor. New York Herald
Petronius Arbiter, the poet and man Of
pleasure IN Nero's court, having fallen into
isgrace. went home, wrote = Satirical poem
escribing Nero's debaucherles aud thee