Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-06-01
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
foxes and JoksIets that Are Supposed to
Have Been Recently Born Sayings end
Doings that Are ODD. Curious SnS
Laughable.
SprinkIes of Spice.

THE coffee corner has been broken
and that settles the price. Lowell
Courier.
THE combatants in the piano war
should hold the fortes. Philadel-
phia Record.
For the organ-grnder it's a short
street that has no turning. -Phila-
delphia Times.
JACK HARDUP-Is there any cure
for love? Lovina Cottage-Oh. yes:
the gold cure. Puck.
THE oyster is a humble creature.
1t is content to begin life at the bot
tom. -Yonkers Statesman.
ERERY boy would rather run the
lawn mower next door than the en-
at home. -Atchison Globe.
SO MANY newly married people
whom the papers say are to be cnvied
don't look so.-AtchiSon Globe.
GOOSE eggs have been picked up
out in Shackleford County almost as
large as hail-stones--Dallas News.
The men who gather up the colloc-
tions are expected to take at least a
passing interest in religious matters.
"AFTER all, murmured the artist,
perhaps the ideal figure has a dollar
mark in front of Washington
Star.
YOUNG King Alexander signalized
his entrance into politics by captur-
ing the primaries. indianapolis
News.
DOES he write TO you regularly
since you became engaged NO:
sometimes ] only get che letter a
day."-Life.
II is not SO strange that the sea
breaks on the shorc-the sailors gen
orally do the same thing. Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
ALL that has been said so far
against the crinolino is nothing. Just
wait and see the wind blow it up
Buffalo Courier.
Miss SNIPPIT-Men are such fools,
Miss Darley-Ah, VINO has proposed
to you now, dear?-BroWning, King
& Co. s Monthly.
"IT seems" said the barber, that
my whole life is to be spent getting
out of one scrape into another. -
Washington Star.
THERE seems to be more in heaven
and earth and in our drinking water
than is dreamt Of in our philosophy,
Chester pa News.
PROBABLY not ali postmasters will
be removed this summer, but those
who remain may count upon an early
fall. Lowell Courier.
The SHIRT-Im completely done
up every few days. The Peanut
Poor fellow. But / am continually
roasted. -Pittsburg Bulletin.
"Tu1s is what / call solid comfort,
was the remark Of the young husband
when he partook Of his wife's first
sponge cake. Boston Gazette.
IT is natural enough after all that
an athlete should mount the ladder
of fame more rapidly than does the
average man. Detroit Free Press.
IT shows better discipline to have
parents take after their children than
it does to see the children taking
after their parents. Rochester Demo-
crat.
SINCE the introduction of cype-
setting machines with seats for the
operators, the printers trade has lost
a great deal Of it's standing. Troy
Press.
A GERMAN student wrestling with
the English language rendered text
as fellows: "The ghost is willing, but
the meat is feeble. "-EducationaI
News.
A YOUNG man with pushing quail
ties can always get something to do,
even if it is nothing better than en-
gineering lawnmower. i Buffalo
Courier.
T1MID VIsIToR-Isn't that water
unhealthy? Chicago Landlord
What? That water, sir, is filed with
life and strength. Cleveland Plain
Dealer
EVERY time there is stormy
weather PlunkeY goes on a spree.
But he couldn't do it if he didn't lay
up something for rainy day. -Bos-
ton Transcript.
MILKMAN alphabetically The
milk is little blue this morning,
Mrs Housekeeper-lt must be think
ing how everlastngly poor it is get
ting. Troy Press.
DoBBs-I never saw such man To
exaggerate as that man Brown is.
He overdraws everything. Bobbs--
Yes, sir. even his bank account.
Detroit Free Press.
my husband is very much inter
csted in agriculture, said Mr.. Heavy.
wit. only last night he was talking
in his sleep about a 50-cent rake. >"
Binghamton Leader
"WHY do you ask me for my auto
graph" asked the poet, who liked to
hear words Of praise. Because you
are the only one who can write it.
III.