The morning call., 1893-05-28

handsome offer to the Rev. de Witt Talmage.
L cabled TO The Prince OF Wales that there was
a good opening for him as sporting editor Of
the Vociferator. and nrided myself on my
originality in asking Bud Doble to do horse
for us and Count Lyof Tolstoi to run the labor
column.
Then l went home and slept soundly. In
the morning remembered that a new Board of
Trade man was needed TO 20 with the new staf,
so l cabled Herbert Spencer. Offering him a
princely salary II he would undertake to do
both the board and market reports. You see 1
still 1t obliged o ecouomlze wherever l could
and was stll pound to get the most for the
least money.
"well. it was near the end of The week before
all the new hands reported for duty. had
wisely kept mum about the big surprises in
store for the Vociferator's readers and had the
members of The old STAFF stay in their places till
/ could get the entire new one together.
"It was my idea to fire off all the big guns at
once, so as TO make roar, as it were, that
would bring everybody to their feet. l PIC
tured to myself the admirlng surprise of our
readers aud the amaZement Of our contem-
pOraries
'At last The new men all put In appearances,
even to Gladstone. 1 dismissed he old re-
porters one morning-the proudest Of my life
with orders on the business office for two
weeks salaries.
Then made out the new detail-book pretty
nearly as have already indicated.
81 can tell you 1 was the biggest City Editor
in the land that day. and l felt about TWO
in ches taller thar had ever been before.
what wonders of journalism would the
Vociferator now producrl
Each article was TO be signed by the full
name OF the writer, and l. bad even planned
that wien a really meritorious piece of work
was turned in-sometniDg above the average,
you know-I would publish the portrait and a
little complimentary notice OF the writer at the
end OF his article.
"Tbat was about the longest afternoon ever
put in. waiting to get my fingers on some of
that new copy. 1 ielicltated myself on the
PLEASANT evenings before me in reading and
editing the writings OF such men as the Vocifer-
atol's new staff comprised.
"But, alas! the happiness of reading the
manuscript OF my new staff was deni-d me for
the first night at least l was slated for a con-
ference with the business manager and the old
man. which lasted till near midnight and nded
In the latter's threatening to revoke his carte
blanche 10 me, as the salary list he found, had
exceeded all bounds.
II had left ders with the copy-reader to let
everything 90 so far as space was concerned
and II necessary 10 get out a sixteen-page
paper.
when the conference was over downstairs /
ought to have come up here and looked over
the proofs. but determined to wait till morn
Ing and take my surprises along with the est
OF the Vociferator's readers.
II did not sleep much that night being so
anxious and expectant for the morning paper
And in the morning l punished myself still
further by not touching the paper till the coffee
was served and had lit my pipe.
'What rapture was niue in unfolding those
sixteen pagesi
bah! What a blockhead l had been after
all in not securing Messonier and Verestchagin
and few other celebrities for the art DEPART
men', reflected all OF sudden, as my glance
struck the old cuts.
"Ab. that was the mistake of my life! and it
was TOO late now, for already The old man had
begun TO talk Of retrenchment. Well it could
not be helped. The art department was not
under my control anyhow, and we had the
writers If not the artists
but had We he writer's? Or. If we had
where was their woik2 bese questions began
TO occur to m as turned over the local pages.
Following the editorials-whIch were always
weak on the Vocferator, l misrd = came
twelve columns OF solid matter with scarcely a
breakIne in them all.
81 groaned as saw them, for they spoiled
the appearance of the paper, no matter what
they were. Itis probably a raid ad.,' said 10
myself as looked to The end for an astetisk
No ast risk wa, there, but in its place was the
name of Lyof TolstoI, in all the holiness of
fac-simile penmauship, as / had ordered the
signatures to be printed. loo ed at the head
ing.
THE LABOR REVIEW
Stared me in the face. Now. you know, If there
ever was thing / prded tile Voclferator on
under my administration it was the originality
oi Its head lines. Here was a fine beginning
for the brilliant new staff. II should have been
THEY WANT WORK
or something like that, with action and vigor In
It, you know. But twelve columns on labor
when there wasn't strike in town! MerciTul
heavens! Was Tolstoi Iehashing his economic
ESSAYS? did no. read TO see. Who IN the
world would cad half column OF such stuff?
Count 1olstoi should never write another line
for lie Voclferator while l welded the blue
PENCIL And the readers who had passed hat
stutf-weli, l had gwen orders 10 pass ey-ry-
thing signed. But they really ought TO have
had sense enough TO disobey orders in such a
case.
"What was this next TO the labor dsquisition?
A short article, observed, bro en- into beauli-
ful short paragraphs and signed w. Clark
Russell. An. here would be something worth
reading, no doubt, light and breezy, perhaps.
Ike the famous Flying Du chman.' | tried
TO forget the labor article l settled back to
read this charming sketch.
Ies, 1t was charmng-in dction-and light
and breezy, too. All that, indeed, but horrors
upon horrors! l read trouble for the old man
in every line of IL. Captain Ha tren wou1d be
down on US with blood in both eyes His new
schooner, that we had published cut of last
week and whole column OF pufery about was
declared little better than Tub to go TO sea in
by his brilliant nautical writer
1T Is unseaworthy in every respect wrote
Russell, 'and the men who ship in her VIII be
picked for the fishes rather than roasted by
the sku-hunters.'
Il could appreciate his picking and roast
Ing, Tor the vessel was bound for The cannipal
Islands OF The South Seas, but wept inwardly
and penitently when thought OF the old man
reading this terrible scathlng OF ship that was
owned by his son-n-law
IA column and half of society by Henry
James came next. He ought TO be drawn and
qua.lered,' l thought when 1 had read it
through. His satirical scathing of Sena or ana
Mr>. Granding's fashion BILE reception would
page OF advertising patronage at single stroke.
"Mr. James and Nlr. Russell must both 90 /
determined then and there.
'The next headline l struck was:
"A MILL OUTRAGE
ut was signed By Mrs. nett, three col
umns In length and breath calumny aud The
loss OF patronage IN every line, even If we couid
prove that the owners OF the Silver Rule Gimp
Factory were as great monsters as she de-
picted them.
II forgot to puff at my pipe and the coffee
coll m ntn