Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1893-01-27
THE CITIZEN
A Good Story Teller.

While riding over the Pennsylvanis Cen
tral the other day We overheard conver-
sstion between two men in the seat just IN
front. One of them was large man with
o deep, bass voice with whiskers on II.
He had an air of great sgf Importance
about him and was talking loud, evidently
with the intention Of impressing the other
occupants of the car with the idea that he
was a great man.
Hewas discussing the matter of John
Dubois suit for damages against the par
ties who built the Brooklyn bridge for in
fringing on his patent.
"This man John Dubois" he said, was
an old man who was worth about twenty
millions Of dollsrs, and be was regular
crank on the subject of patents. He in-
sgined he was the inventor and r1ghtful
owner Of every valuable patent he heard
OF. He was a very eccentric old fellow, as
is proven by the manner in which he dis
posed OF his ealth."
"How was that'" inquired his eompan-
ion de voyage.
"well. it was this way. The old man
was up in Lock Haven one day, and no
body there happened to know him. he
left home without any money as he was IN
the habit of getting check cashed where
ever he wanted it. But it was after bank
ing hours, and be needed five dollars He
asked several parties to loan il to him until
the next day. but none of them happened
TO have it. Finally he struck young man
whom he had never seen before, and the
fellow gave him the five dollars, which
was the last cent he had in the world.
The old millionaire showed his gratitude
the next day by making his will and be-
queathing all his millions to the young
man who had given him the five dollars" {"
After the old gentleman had talked him
self tired we called him gently aside and
told him lie bad made slight error in re-
gard to the disposition the late John Du-
Bois had made of his property. We sssur-
| ed him that Mr.. Dubois had given, or
rather sold, his vast estate to his fsvorite
nephew, John E. Dubois. for one dollar,
and that suit to recover the collateral in
| heritance tax was brought in the Clearfield
county courts.
"Oh, well, replied the old gentleman
unconcernedly, II presume you are right,
but don't believe in spelling q good story
by strictly sticking to facts"
And then the old william laughed
Punxsutswney Spirit.
Tie other day gentleman was look
| ing at the letters which were stuck up con-
spicuously in frame in the post office in
q neighboring town with the legend Held
| for postage" above them. He reflected
| on the matter a moment and concluded
thatA might be doing the people who hsd
| forgotten to put stamps on those letters g
kindness by paying the postage and send
| ing them on their journey. And be did so
| If this custom were general it would be
nice, but unscrupulous persons might take
advantage of it to save postage. As rule
the amount Of money required to send the
| few letters that are held Tor postage at any
ordinary office in an entire week wolld bt
less than would be required to act up the
beer or cigars, aud it would be doins
| much more good.
| Hrperdermic injections of morphia are
| frequently prescribed by physicians foi
| cure of neuralgia; but its effects arc only
| ephemersl and you will have to repeat the
injection every day. Discard this seduc
tive enchanter. and use Salvation Oil
which goes To the seat of the trouble and
effects 4 permanent cure.
| There is a man up in Sugargrove, Pa
who is so anxious to engage in the govern
ment employ that he waits TO work fol
nothing and pay $50 per year for the privi
| lege. His name is Sevant Rickers and he
asks to carry the U. s. mails from Sugar
grove to jamestown, n. Y, and back-9i
miles-six times per week and he wants e
pay $50 year for the contract. Under
the present contract the mails are being
carried on this route at cost of one cent
| a wear. When the bids were invited fol
the next four years Rickers and another
| bidder each offered to do the work for one
cent. They must have compared notes,
| however, for before the bids We're opened,
| Rirksrs opponent submitted supplement- d
bid, offering to pay $40 per year for the
contract Rickers then offered $780, and
his opponent raised il to $40, and Rickers
| finally raised to $53, at which figure the
contract will be awarded. The willingness
| Of these men to work for nothing and pay
for the privilege is explained by the fact
that the mail carrier can make a handsome
profit by carrying passengers, baggage ex-
| press and freight There are many mail
routes throughout the country where the
! service il done at cost tn the government
far below the actual expense Of doing the
work il nothing but mail was carri Vi and
| yet the contractors as II rule, thd the bus
ines- they are ensbled to carry on in con-
nec,ioI with 1t profitable The route from
| Sugargrove tc jamestown is the only one
on which the government actually re-
| ceivcs money from the contractor.
Josh Billings suggests that il n man is
on his way to tbr woods to commit suicide
and bull suddenly gives chase the
chances are that he will run for his life.
Handsome is that handsome does, "
and Hoods Sarsaparilla does handsomely
"A Sai. Francisco exchange raises the
alarm that California ia suffering "a girl fam
ine." In every large town in that state,
with the exception Of Alameda, there is a
lamentab'e paucity Of the gentler sex. In
Los Angeles tho male population exceeds
the female by 1000. in San Jose and Stock
ton by 1000, in Fresno by 2,600, in Sscre-
mento by 1000. and in San Francisco by
by the startling number Of 10000. Per-
haps half of the excess in these cases is
due to the Chinese population, which CON
sists mainly Of adult males, but after max