The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-02-08

or my mind was added the agony Of the
body. How can l describe it,
"In addition to the sensation of being
pricked by millions of need s-not in the
skin but side my muscles-there was tue
most irritating feeling OF creepiness along
the bones of my legs and arms, something
like thai | afterwards experienced when
had la grippe, only a thousand million
times worse / got so that | could not hold
myself still. My arms and legs would fly
out as IL were striking and kicking at some
body-it seemed as ii by exercise | could
get relief, but ! would thrash my arms
about me as the cabby does on a cold night,
or jump IN and down and dance about till |
was brsathless, but all to no purpose-I got
no relief.
The doctor did not come again till after
the theater. The night nurse came at about
o'clock. The doctor brought some chalky
looking stuff which [ took eagerly In the
hope it would help me; but it dill no good
| could not even take drink of water aud
enjoy it. | would light my pipe or a cigar
only to lay IL right down again. Hot and
cold flashes came over me with the rapidity
of lightning.
That night The recollection of it will
haunt Inc es long as ivel By o'clock in
the morning felt as sore all o, er as if had
run till l was overEeated and in a violent
perspiration and then had suddenly cooled
process. | could not bear to touch my own
flesh, it was so sore. There was not much
left OF II, for had grown very thin during
the long time that had lived on morphine
without food. The hot and cold flashes grew
worse, and cold perspiration, which would
make me shiver, would succeed burning hot,
teverlsh spells with scarcely al Interval be-
tween them. The moisture would pour off
me while was shivering.
Then l would run little then get my
dumb-bells and clubs and use them Tor a
moment. | would sit down and try to be
quiet for while. But could not
The doctor came about noon. l had
been walking the floor and flying from
couch to chair aud chair to bed, never re-
naming in any one more than a mlnute-I
could not stay in one position longer-and
about al hour before the doctor came had
new and most alarming experience. All
at once, as | happened to lie down on my
bed, it seemed as if my heart had stopped
beating. 1t was most awful sensation. l
sprang to nv feet and ran back and forth
across the room as fast as my tottering
limbs would carry me. The nurse looked
at me inquiringly. told him it seemed as
if my heart would stop beating. He looked
little anxious, but said nothing.
="When the doctor came l explained the
must keep myself quiet. The idea of keep
ing quiet when l was enduring all that
agony! ! asked him il it was not a little
dangerous TO stop off so suddenly. He
answered gruffiy that that was the only way
TO cure ne. but added that he was ready to
give me dose IL l wanted 1t, and asked
sneeringly how many grains he would give
me. saw that be thought l was about to
break down and | was determined that,
although the temptation was irresistible,
would die rather than go back to the
morphine. So told him that l employed
him to help me quit. not to help me back to
the old habit again.
Half an hour after the doctor left US a
bottle Of medicine was sent up to the rooms.
The nurse said it was for my heart trouble.
He was not to give it except in case of ex-
treme suffering, but kept on with the chalky
stuff, which had about as much effect on me
as so much water.
That day was three years long. 1t was
a repetition of the day before in its suffer
ing, only worse; and there was the added
annoyance of the trouble with the heart. |
noticed the nurse watched me much more
closely and when my heart was almost at
standstill he would give me the medicine,
but said he did not want to give it too often.
l found out afterward that it was aromatic
spirits of ammonia, and it destroyed what
little stomach had left
There is not much more to tell. The
next day | was so weak l could scarcely
move about. The heart trouble seemed TO
grow greater-it is an appalling sensation.
But had not the strength to jump and run
about. The nurse would watch my pulse
and when he saw it getting near the danger
line would give me the medicine. The re-
turning fits Of nervousness ana pain were
dreadful, worse than ever it seemed, be-
cause had no strength to resist them.
"At last the work was done and nothing
remained but to get my strength back.
Before that came | had to go through long
sleepless nights-for eight days and nights
l did not sleep two hours altogether. l
would drop off into a cat nap Of a minute
at a time never more than two minutes 4,
and that always in the forenoon, never at
night. Ny eyes grew red and inhamed. L
could not read, and it was awful to sit
there and do nothing but think, think, till
my brain reeled, as the novels have it.
"Those long nights were filed with an
unnatural activity of mind. | would lie In
bed and plan things-in business matters
the boldest, most audacious schemes, many
of which were impracticable Of course.
FINALLY sleep Logan to come back to me,
but very slowly. At first would get only
an hour in the night. then two hours. but
In about five weeks l was able to sleep four
to five hours.
II will never forget the first time I went
out. 1t was one of those soft fine after
moons that sometimes comes in December.
Thomas wrapped me up we'll aud sat by me
in the carriage. The world had never
seemed so glorious nor life so bright to me
before. 1t was almost worth all of my suf-
ferings to experience the sensation. You
may talk as you please, but it Is only when
mans body is reduced that the spiritual
part of him has the opportunity to assert it
self.
at was three months before l was en-
tirely myself again, Not that was really
ill, but | would have nervous attacks and
fits of insomnia from time to time. .
1.-TWO years went by and had almost
forgotten the affair-that is, as nearly as a
man could forget 80 terrible an experience
when it came on me, the pain in my head,
l mean. 1t was the same thing over again
The doctor tried, at my urgent request,
every other remedy before he used the NOR
phine. But it was no use. The pain was
simply intolerable and relief had to be fur
nished at any cost.
THE time came when I had to step. l
talked it over with the physician aud be
urged ma to go to hospital.
1.-THE inferno treated me beautifully at
first. | told him that was satisfied that
some Of the suffering and much of the shock
to the system could be avoided by breaking
off gradually. That if he would agree to
do this would place myself in his hands,
otherwise l would go elsewhere. He agreed
to it, and we went over anu decided upon