davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A Church usher,s numor.

Even a church usher can show a keen
sense Of humor in the pursuit Of his du-
ties. Not long ago q prominent young
business man Of Rochester promised his
little daughter that she might have a
party on her birthday. The birthday
happened to come on the Sunday before
Easter, and the little girl came up to her
father the day before to remind him Of
his promise. Her father told her that Of
course he could not let her have a party
on Sunday, but that he would take her
to church instead. AS the father him
self was little given to church going,
and tho daughter had never been but
once, the idea struck her as absolutely
unique and absolutely delightful, so she
accepted the alternative eagerly-much
to her fathers regret.
They went down TO church together in
the morning Robinson and little
May-and by dint Of careful examining
Of charts Mr.. r. located his pew. He
had hardly seated himself when up came
an usher with q humorous twinkle in his
eye and wonder in his countenance at
the unexpected appearance Of Mr.. r. at
church. Him did the usher make straight
for, and leaning over he whispered in a
loud stage whisper:
Il beg your pardon Mr. Robinson, but
haven't you made amistakel Next Sun
days EasterI"-Quips.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
Dumas and His Economical Son.

Alexander Dumas, the great French
story writer, was very fond and proud Of
his son Alexander, who also became Il
famous author. His regard for him was
increased apparently, by the fact that
the son had a very good appreciation Of
the value Of money-a quality which the
father did not possess in the slightest de-
gree.
A recent writer Of recollections relates
that he once visited Dumas at St. Ger
main. He had just been bitten in the
hand by his dog and was unable to write,
but was debating a novel.
His son went out as the visitor came in.
Alexander has just left me-" said the
father. "What good fellow that boy
isl Just fancy, this morning received
$50 francs. He said to me, I'll take 90
francs Of it, 1 didn't quite hear and
thought he was going to leave me only
90. So 1 called out, Hold onl Let me
have 100 Of it at leastP But tell you
I'm only going to take 50r he called out.
oh, OH said l. 4 thought you were 60
ing to take the 600. Well, take as much
as you want
And Dumas added proudly, "What a
golden hearted fellow Alexander is, to
be surer'
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
An odd Love Letter.

A lady has written the lfeof the Arch
duke Carl Salvador, the brother Of the
Grand Duke Of Tuscany, who died sud
denly about a year ago. A letter now
published, sent by the king Of Naples
sister, Maria immaculate, to the arch
duke, then 90 years old, who had hon
ored her with an offer of marriage, is
worth reading. The princess, who was
10, and became the archdake's wife two
years later, wrote: "My Dear Cousin
Your honored letter gave me all the
more Joy because 1 see from it that you
have for a long time entertained the
idea Of marrying me. / hope that God
and the Holy Virgin viii give me grace,
that may satisfy you in everything;
that may make you happy all your life
long and be devoted, obedient and re-
spectful TO your parents. ask them to
receive me as their daughter. thank
you also for the photograph you sent,
and hoping soon to see you in Rome re-
main ever your devoted cousin, Maria
immaculate" It would be interesting
to know what governess or tutor was re-
sponsible for this composition. London
News.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A seathing Renly 60 a nIshon.

Alta clerical meeting the subject Of tho
separate mode of administering the COM
munion came up. One of those present
said that when there were a large num-
Der present at the celebration he often
preferred to give the exhortation to sew
eral persons together, as it made the
feast more Of n communion than when
each was isolated from his fellow wor-
shippers by the separate mode Of admins
tration. Bishop Wilberforce, with sar-
castle mien and tone, replied, Il under
stand you, Mr.. Eardley, to prefer admin
istration by WHOLESALER
Mr.. Eardley rejoined, my lord bish-
op, when the divine founder of the feast,
addressing the 12 apostles, said Drink
ye all Of the cup do not think that
even Judas Iscariot would have dared to
sneer at him as a wholesale administra-
tor The bishops usual readiness de-
serted him, and he had nothing to say
San Francisco Argonaut.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
He Made a Mistake.

To J. S.-We think that the young
lady's indignation has just foundation
in your impertinence-that is, if your
own statement Of the affair be taken as
the basis Of facts. You had no business
to hint that she used cosmetics even if
you did honestly think So" Her ring
ing for a glass Of water and Offering that
and her handkerchief to you to enable
you to test the matter on the spot by
washing her cheeks was a masterstroke.
She did a sensible thing in putting the
question beyond doubt by rubbing her
face, when You declined her offer, with
her damp handkerchief, and then did a
most becoming thing when she rang for
the servant to show you out, stating that
you wished to retire. That was well
done. Such spirited girl as that can
have no need Of cosmetics. You made o
mistake and must now abide the conse-
quences. That seems to us about the
whole sum and essence Of the matter
New York Ledger.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A olrrs rnsto ror ErereI.e.

Miss Lena Tuttle Of Connecticut is
amusing herself by clearing a farm and
cutting down cedar trees. for which tasl.
she is receiving the plaudits OF admiring
editors. 1t seems to be a matter of taste.
Different people havo different minds.
A great many women make themselves
useful in great many ways. Miss Tut
tie likes to chop wood-a very invigor-
ating and health producing exercise. it
amuses her and doesn't hurt the neigh
bors. Miss Tuttle. If she marIies at all,
will perhaps espouse a man who viii be
able TO wash the dishes audattend to the
knitting, and thus harmony and domes-
ITCHY viii be established New York
World.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A Story Painter.

Rossetti was both romantic and
shrewd, and among Yankee spectators
there are few keenor men of business
than was this childlike genius Yet he
treated the purchasers of his pictures
with scant courtesy. George Rae, bank
CT and a fine judge Of art, had bought
several Of them, but he objected to the
price Rossetti had set on "The Bride. ="
A few days after he returned, and Ros-
sett greeted him sarcastically.
"What do you want for your pictureg"
asked Rae.
"Three hundred guineas."
"Why, you offered it to me for 25Ol"
81 really don't remember" was the
lordly reply; perhaps 1 did. But why
didn't you take it? Well, you may have
it for e3OO. If the odd shillings are Of
any use to you, Rae, you're welcome to
themw-Harry Quilter's Preferences"
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
roasts at Temperance meetings.

Is there not something perverse and
contrary TO nature about having toasts
at temperance banquets and drinking
them in water out of goblets? Water is
unquestionaoly the best drink in the
world, but not for toasts. It is right
and proper that our temperance friends
should eat together and that their souls
should flow. but they ought to get up a
new apparatus for the exploitation of
their after dinner remarks. The livery
Of Silenus is not adapted to the service
of Lady Henry Somerset and Miss Fran
ces Willard. Twist or turn as you will,
it does not iit.-Harper's Weekly.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
IYouldn,l ray Tor IlInmlnatlon.

Ono day this week o fellow with the
worst kind Of a toothache crept timidly
into q certain Lewiston dentists Office.
"What do You ask for pulling o
tooth?' queried he, holding ON to his
face.
Fifty cents without gas, n dollar with
gas, replied he Of the forcops.
The fellow started as if he was shot.
And what do you suppose he saidf
"If you can't pull my tooth in broad
daylight without gas, III go somewhere
where they CAM Lewiston Journal
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A VALENTINE.


Accept, dear wife. this little token.
And II between the lines you seek
You'll find the love I've often spoken
The love III always love TO speak.
Our little ones are making merry
With unco ditties rhymed in jest,
But in these lines, though awkward very,
The genuine articles expressed
You are so fair and sweet and tender,
Dear, brown eyed little sweetheart mine,
AS when, callow youth and slender,
asked 10 be your valentine.
What though these years Of ours be fleeting7
What though the years Of youth be flown?
I'll mock old Kronos with repeating,
an love my love and her alonel"
And when I fall before his reaping,
And when my suffering speech is done,
Think not my love IS dead or sleeping,
But that it waits for you TO come.
So take. dear love, this little token,
And If there speaks in any line
The sentiment III fain have spoken,
Say. viii you kiss your valentine?
Eugene Field In Ladies' Home Journal
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A nnchess ana IIer nlnmonds.

When the Duchess Of Marlborough
made a flying visit to America about s
year ago, she dressed very simply and
wore few jewels, three or four dia-
mond stars in her hair and on her cor
sage being, as a rule, her only ornaments.
Some people expressed disappointment
that she did not appear in her coronet.
Gas we'll" exclaimed some one, Eek
pect thequeen Of Englandto appear with
her crown on her head and a scepter in
her hand when she drives out in Hyde
park. New York Recorder.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
A stnrr Ahnnt an rnn-

Some years ago tobacconist discov-
fred the utility OF tin foil for wrapping
chewing tobaccos. Heretofore paper
had been exclusively used for the pur-
pose, but it did not serve TO keep the
moisture of the atmosphere away from
the tobacco nor preserve the natural
moisture Of the tobacco from the effects
Of a dry or heated atmosphere. Paper
also absorbed the aroma Of tho weed and
was not sufficiently lasting. Therefore
tin foil was used for wrappers. But il
became costly and could only be rolled
TO q certain thickness or thinness be
yond which the ingenuity Of man seemed
to find it impossible to so. The fact was
that no rollers could be made to sustain
the pressure necessary TO mashing the
tin foil to leaf sufficiently thin to suit
the manufacturer.
Many ingenious inventors struggled
with the proposition for months and
gave up the problem as unsolvable,
when a simple workman about the shop
one day, after rolling two sheets TO the
customary thinness, put the two sheets
together into the rollers and made both
halves as thin as one was before. This
was as simple as standing an egg on end,
but it created a revolution in the manu-
facture Of tin foil for tobacconists' use
and made mint Of money for the boss
Of the discoverer. The man had struck
upon the idea by accident, but the dis
covery was as great and as profitable as
if he had been a great inventor and
spent years Of his valuable life over the
question. .-Eoston Herald.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
TEN efiectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup Of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac-
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
70 all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50c
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. DO not accept any
-ybstitute.
CALIFORNIA Fle syrup co.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. 6E NEW YORK. ~
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
St. Dunstnn and the Devil.

One Of the most famous smiths Of the
Weald was st. Dunstan, archbishop Of
Canterbury. Mayfield in Sussex is the
site Of an ancient archiepiscopal palace,
and here, according to some, took place
the terrific encounter between st. Dun
stan and the devil. AT any rate the an
vii, hammer and tongs which are alleged
TO have belonged to the saint are still
preserved at Mayfeld palace.-Gentle-
mans Magazine.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

AT Easter in Scotland, where the great
festivals have for centuries been sup
pressed, the children still get their hard
boiled dyed eggs, which they play with
and finally eat.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
cIadstone's WAY or saving aso. ..

The verbosity Of Mr.. Gladstone is pro-
verbal, but it hasnever been more mark
edly put in evidence than when, want
ing to answer a querist with a negative,
ne used these words. 81 must reply with
that brief and simple monosyllable--
No "
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

A loose and easy dress contributes
much to give to both sexes those fine
proportions Of body that are observable
in the Grecian statues, and which serve
as models TO our present artists.-Rous-
Enan.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

It is a physicians suggestion that per-
sons meeting on a street corner should
move ON for their chat, avoiding the enl-
anations from the sewer openings usual
" found there.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
ITEMS or INTEREST.

Just when the coffee thinks it has good
grounds for complaint the egg drops in and
settles the whole busness.-rroy Press.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

The most notable attraction in
mosque at Delhi is a single red hair
which is said to have been plucked from
the mustache of Mohammed.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
The TestImnnlnIa

Published on behalfof Hoods Sarsaparlla
are a. reliable and as worthy your confidence
as III they came from your best and most
trusted neighbor. They state simple facts.
uood's Iills cure sick hoadAche.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

10 Is the escaped convict who complains.
when caught, of being run down hy inQuisi-
tive people Philadelphia lines.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

THE EVENING JoUKNAL has
a special telegraph wire, giving
its patrons all the live telel
graphic news
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
nav RIdro Season Of IS08.

The President can afford TO shake hands
with an olflce-seeker when he can give him a.
shake that will last Picayune.n
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
S-orgo white,

safes and pianos moved and set with care;
furniture cars az short notice; hosiing and
rigging dnne. Office. No. l2i French street.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

A Genoese adage runs, Tears of wom-
an, fountain of malice" and another,
1.-THE weapons Of woman are tears, the
tcngue and the nails"
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
REMOVALS.

NOTICE. -REMOVAI.-rHE OFFICE OF
- the Wilmington Coal Gas Company Is
now at 40. s2' Market street.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

r. G. Dun & Co g weekly report Of
trade showed better condition for gen
eral trade and that there was little busi
ness disturbance. although stocks had
declined very besvily The failures for
the week were ESQ in the Uuited States
and Canada
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

Those who kee D latc hours have not much
use for early 40 ucs.-6alveston News.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

CITY PASSENGER AGENT aiFio of ne b. 4 o. H. r.
can secure dates and liberal rates 90 Bay
Ridge for excursions during the coming sea-
son. The resort opens June 10
man who win take umbrage without
cause would probably take most anything
olse.-kOstOn Courier.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

~. w. G WINNER HAS kEMUN Ed
~ from 20 King 81. TO ssl Washington 81.
Evening journal., 1893-05-13
GET THE BEST.

THE EvENINGs JOURNAL
gives the largest and besl
newspaper ever printed in thi'
state, for the least money.
SIS per year or 25c.a monte'
Evening journal., 1893-05-13

SAN FRANCISCO. Cal.
LOUISVILLE. KK NEW YORK. ~
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13

Great attitudes furnish q gymnasium
whore the respiratory organs are compelled
to be exercised, and, consequently become
larger and moro efficient.
Altitude, also, prevents instead of inducing
hemorrhage, as was the old opinion. This
fact has been well established by experience
and observation.
Prof M. W. Harrington, chief Of the u, 8,
weather bureau says:
"Santa Fe lies in the drieat part Of tho
United States. This region is extensive, but
changes in form from season to season,
snnta Fe is always in it, however.
THE WATERS OF SANTA FE,
DR.. J. y. Banter vice president of the
American Health Resort association says:
ut Is worth travelling miles to drink u
such wateD ss flow through this deep cut Ia
The mountains and supply the city Of Santa
F'e for domestic purposes and for irrigation
of the fl nit farms. The water is absolutely
pure, cold and fresh from the melting
SHOWS above, or trickling from springs in
the mountain side. 1t is free from all lime,
elkali or other ingredients so very injurious
TO the consumptive patient. Such water Ia
q great boon anywhere and at any time, but
here, where other features Of sunshine and
pure air combine to produce an fdee
climate, 1t Is Of special value"
STATISTICAL IMPORTATION.
The annual temperature varies but little
from year to year. The following tables tell
the tale:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13
4 New Place.

There is one lawyer in the city who will
never again make use of Latin phrases in
writing business letters A short time ago
he had to write letter to silent of his in
a neighboring city regarding an important
lawsuit that was to come up before the
court in the course of few days. The in
formation he solicited was highly essential
to his case. In writing this epistle he made
use of a letter head with his printed address
at the top. In closing his letter he signed
himself thus: John Langdon. Address
ut supra" After waiting several days for
the reply, which did not come, he again
wrote his procrastinating client and asked
why he had not sooner answered his first
letter The next day he received a reply in
which the client said that he had answered
the letter and addressed it to John Lang
don, Ut Supra, N. Y."-Buffalo Express
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13
COnoiuefare,

Detroit has popular man who is mora
or less disturbed every day in his Office by
visitors, and though he is naturally amia
BILE it is beginning to tell on him This
other night after he had been asleep about
three hours his wife shook him into semi.
consciousness.
'Wha--what is it, my lear.n he asked
sleepily
''Sh--sh, George" she whispered, there's
burglar down stairs"
How do you know?' he inquired, still
half asleep.
II heard him moving around, and--ob,
George, there he is now. Iistenw apd she
gave him another shake desperately.
We'll, dear he growled, don't disturb
him. This is his busy time, and he ought
to be given chance to attend to business
occasionally anyhow"
Then he began to snore, aud his wife lis
tened and listened and finally went to sleep.
Detroit Free Press.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13

During little pedestrian trip a gentle
man came Unexpectedly upon a country
race course, and on one portion of the
ground found thimblerig establishment
in full work. Notwithstanding the remon-
strances of his companion, the gentleman,
who was a bit Of a madcap, insisted on
watching the game.
Nov, would the gent like to wager a
crown he could find the pea?" remarked
the expert
YES" was the reply.
The money was on both sides deposited,
and the pedestrian, lifting up the thimble,
pointed out the required pea and took the
stakes.
A second bet, double or quits" ended,
to the surprise of the expert. in the same
result
Then third wager, "a pound or moth
ing" steadied the nerves of the loser, and
the trick was accomplished with great eau
tion. The gentleman lifted up a thimble
and showed the pea, at the same time peck,
citing the stake.
"S'help me-" etc. II didn't put it there"
exclaimed the bewildered artist.
mo, but / always carry my own pea"
rejoined the man who had come out right
as he went on his way with the spoils of
war.-Tit Bits.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13
where to stop In chicago.

The perplexing question which is every
day asked by people who desire to go to
Chicago to attend the Worlds fair is,
"Where are we going to stay when we get
theres" This is easily answered, and if
you will go to the ticket agent of the
Santa Fe, Mr.. w. M. Smith, he will tell
you.
Arrangements have been made for the
distribution by the Santa Fe company of
a pamphlet entitled "Homes for Visitors
to the Worlds Fair" This is reliable
pamphlet containing the rames and ad-
dresses of about 5000 families who will
furnish accommodations to visitors from
May to October 81, 1898. The pamphlet
also contains sectional maps which will
enable the intending visitor to select any
quarter of the city that he would prefer.
Correspondence can then be carried on
and definite arrangements made SO that
when visitors arrive in Chicago they can
proceed at once to their quarters.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13

Why is it that people in general are so
prone to disregard loss of strength, clear
ly perceptible In bodily shrinkage, failure
of appetite, broken rest? Incompetent
sible but true. Sheer carelessness, an
overwhelming confidence in the power OF
nature to Representatives. are suggest
ible reasons. One of the most observable
signals of danger thrown by distressed
nature is waning strength. An efficient
tonic is the best safeguard against i'm
pending peril. Among the invigorants
which modern science has developed and
experience approved is Hostetter's Stom-
ach Bitters, and it occupies the first place
Digestion, renewed by this genial stom-
achic, compensates for drain of vital
force, and a regular action of the bowels
and tranquil condition of the nerves.
both insured by its use, cooperate in the
complete restoration of vigor. The Bit
tiers remedies liver and kidney trouble
and malaria.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13
Important Announcement.
To Those Who Contemplate Trip to the
Worlds Fair.
For sale by A. O. Ireland, Jr.

Under its new summer schedule now in
effect, the Burlington route is enabled to
offer increased facilities in train service
and fast time from Denver eastward.
Train No. 8, "the Chicago and St. Louis
Special" leaves Denver daily at 8:35 a. m.
reaching Chicago at 4:1O and st. Louis al
800 p. M, the next afternoon, being only
one night on the road.
Train No. 2, the popular evening
"Flyer," leaves Denver at 1910 p. m.
reaching Chicago at $40 and st. Louis al
1895 the second morning.
These trains consist of vestibuled Pull.
man sleepers, chair cars and diners, serv.
ing all meals en- route, and making quick.
" time by several hours than any other
road. For full information, tickets and
sleesing berths, call on local ticket
agents, or address 9. W. vallery, General
Agent 100 Larimer street, Denver.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13
An Cnfeeling Brute.

IF you go FIRST" murmured tho wife of
his bosom to the sick. man, "you will
wait for me on the other shore, will you
not, lover"
II s'pose I'll have to-" he grumbled.
II never went anywhere yet without hav-
ing to wait for you at least half an hour"
New York Times.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1893-07-13
A Household Remedy.

Allcock's Porous Plasters are the only
reliable plasters ever produced. Fragrant,
clean, inexpensive, and never failing;
they fully meet all the requirements of a
household remedy, and should always be
kept on hand. For the relief and cure of
weak back, weak muscles, lameness, stiff
or enlarged joints, pains in the chest
small of the back and around the hips,
strains, stitches, and all local pains, ALL
cocks Porous Plasters are unequalled.
Beware of limitations, and do not be
deceived by misrepresentation. Ask for
Allcock's, and let no solicitation or ex-
PLANTATION induce you to accept sub
stitute.