The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-11-16
THE USE OF TACT.


A Valuable Thing to Possess In the Home
and in Society.
We hear about mans inhumanity to
man, but nothing about woman's in
humanity. 1t is astonishing how much
bitterness has been caused by most un
intentional rudeness. Women stab
each 9th er daily in conversation, with
out intending to be malicious Tact
is. perhaps, the rarest and most valua-
bic of gifts. She who has it can get
along happily without any beauty. and
almost without brains. She who has
it not can not get on at all without
constant attrition. She hurts where
she would heal, and wonders at the
resentment that follows her well-meant
efforts. There are several "don'ts"
which should be considered whenever
two or more women are gathered to-
gether. For instance: Don't say to
a friend: ''How stout you are grow
ing" No woman likes to be told
that she is growing or has grown stout.
If it be fact she is doubtless well
aware of it and anxious to keep others
from discovering it. You would not
think of saying to her: How ugly you
are growing yet what you have said
is of very much the same nature. for
most women consider any approach to
stoutness as so many steps are taken in
the direction of the loss Of beauty.
If you arc really polite you will doan
In your power to turn your friends
thoughts from any distressing or an
moving channel.
Don't say, 'How thin you are"
either, for both women and men 'oathe
to be told that they are either stout or
thin. Unless you can say, How well
you are looking!" it were better to make
no remark ON the personal appearance
of your friend.
Don't tell friend who has on par
ticularly becoming gown OF bonnet
that she looks ten years younger in
that than in anything you have ever
seen her wear. That is at best but q
dubious compliment. You mean it to
be flattering, but it is equivalent to
saying: "AIl your other gowns are I'M
becoming and make you look old" No
woman wants one garment praised at
the expense of every other that she
possesses. Don't tell her either that it
is the most becoming thing you have
ever seen her wear. That is an i'm
parchment of her taste heretofore
though you probably have no such
thought.
If you should notice bit of black
court-plaSter on a friends cheek don't
try to be witty by pointing at 1t and
asking her if she has been fighting.
Netting could be less delicate. 1t
forces her to speak, about it and that
certainly can not be agreesble to her.
She knows it is there, certainly, or it
would not be there, hence, it is super
fluous as well as offensive to speak
of it. ~
In these days. when hair changes its
color with much greater facility than
the leopard can change his spots, don't
ask friend if her hair was not lighter
or darker some years ago, when you
Hrst knew her. Such question may
be embarrassing to her, and may force
her to explain what is entirely her own
affair. Whatever pertains to ones toilet
is of strictly private nature. and the
weH-bred stranger or friend informed.
dleth not. 5s
When elderly persons are present do
not tell how you dread the thought of
old age. In short, do not introduce
subjects of conversation which eeuld
prove offensive to anyone present.
In society, beauty. grace, wealth and
learning will avail but little without
that valuable aracteristic-tact.-
Chicago News