The morning call., 1893-02-06
WHO DISCOVERED AMERICA ?
Almost Tragic Result of Debate at
HemloCk Hollow.


Columbian year. Not to all have the inves-
LEGATIONS touching those grand old navi-
gators who came across in their high-heeled
ships and found us-not to al! of these in
vestigators has the subject brought joy. In
Hemlock Hollow. H.. for instance. as we
learn from a dispatch IN an Indianapolis
newspaper, blood has been shed over the
inquiry az to who discovered America any
how.
Hemlock hollow. it seems. has prosper
Gus debating club which meets weekly in
the schOOlhOuSe. The subject for last week
was stated thus Resolved That TINS
country was discovered by Christopher
Columbus" Squire Hapgood was appointed
20 uphold this DoWise startling ldea, NhIle
young Mr.. Todd, a student OF the blue
blossom academy. was chosen TO com par the
notion. The squire opened the DEBATE
calmly, but unnlistaka bly,. by remarklng
that up to q week before he had never heard
The fact that Columbus discovered America
questioned. But investigation had
shown him that il was so; that GER
tain cranks and fools. not TO call them
bv stronger terms, had set up the
idea that some Norwegian pirate had first
seen America. This was an age OF skeptl-
cism. and he presumed that somebody
would yet doubt the account concerning
George Washington and the cherry tree.
He had even heard that man In Peoria
was questioning the advisability of plan ting
potatoes in the dark of the moon. He con-
sidered all this sort of thing unsettling to
the mind of youth. Indeed be thought II, as
be had read in Chicago paper time to call a
halt If Columbus didn't discover America
what was he doing in these parts in l492 ?
But even surprising, as these Jackleg writer's
said, that some Seandinavian did get lost IN
this neighboThOOd and America found
him, what did it amount TO? Even
the wobble-minded writers themselves
only claimed that the stray out
law stayed long enough To show that he
couldn't sound ~ and inquire the nearest
road 10 Norway. 1t was If Deacon \ nder-
hilPsdOg should go out IN the woods and
look uD into a tree and bark couple OF
times and then go home and crawl under
the kitchen stove, while Bill BasSett'S dog
went out and brought the coon back in his
mouth. The first dog was the scandinavian
tramp, the second was Columbus. but he
presumed that If this thing was TO happen
these onc-horse writer's 10 whom he had re-
feTred would push forward their claim In
their Undetermined way that the first dog
caught the coon. Squire Hapg0od then sat
down and swept his brow with red ban
dana, while young Mr.. Todd arose.
Mr., Todd looked around for a moment
and thea drew a roll Of manuscript from
hIs coattail pocket. lie hoped, be said,
that his venerable opponent, willie talking
his back teeth loose in defense OF an lmpOs-
tor, had saved enough strength 10 listen 10
some remarks founded on common sense,
The whole aim OF man ought TO be 10 ar
rive at truth Shall error be fosieIed
Out upon it! said Mr. Todd l. was time
10 apply higher criticism 70 history. bis
aged opponent would do better 10 stick to
dark the-mOOn potatoes and leave ones
lions demanding thought TO minds not
ravaged by the decay Of time. Amer
lea was discovered by Let Eric
son several hundred years before Co
lumbus was born. he knew what
he was doing. but couldn't stand the rigors
Of The New England winters, so went back
to Greenland When it comes to being lost,
continued Mr.. Todd, this man Columbus
didn't know which way America was from
him tile day before he got 10 land. lie was
an adYenturer and deadbeat anyhow, but
the speaker would give him credit Tor one
thing and that was this: That II he could
have foreseen that an old add e-pated fossil
like his CTodd's) able opponent was going
20 get up and make pltiable exhibition OF
himself about him Columbus, he would
have sailed back and told Ferdinand and
Isabella that he couldn't find anything but
salt water and fying fish. MIR. Todd sat
down; but right here, 1t appears, the
trouble began.
"a warm dispute followed" says the dis
patch, "and finally Hapgood struck Todd
over TIC Hcdu " IN q 4dlGe oOtVOt EloOO.
We know not ii he struck him with Siberia
or Northern Europe, the home Of Leif Eric
son. but we are told that "Toda's head
crushed into the globe" and further that
Todd butjed Rapgood and knocked him
over" His head. we fancy. was Stiil in the
bowels Of tie earth, 50 the Squire may have
been hit by India or the South Pacific.
ANYWAY, the unfortunate HapgOOd was
confined 10 his house" at the date Of the
telegram, while Todd. after having bis
scalp sewed up where it had been cut by
the Jagged coast Of Norway, was arrested
and lodged in Jail. considerable excite
ment exists" concludes tie dispatch, "and
more trouble is feared, as the people have
all taken sides"
We regret, of course, to hear of this diff
Guilty at Hemlock Hollow. but great histori-
cal questions must be settled, and no doubt
the people there are willing to sacrifice q
reasonable amount OF blood 10 that end