Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1893-04-28

Love is merely a very pleasant faitl
cure.-GatvcstoW Ncvs.
Polish is good thing in society, ex
cept when it's worn on the cont
Philadelphia Record.
Lcftus-What sort of dog is tina,
you have-a pointer? Spotly-No, 8
disappointer.-1rut
"The preacher got in some good licks
this morning. didn't hep" asked Riggs
"Yes; and prolix, too." replied Griss.
-Pucb.
The latest in bric-a-brac are pretty
things made of coal, but the pre,tiesl
things made of coal are Dividends
Lovel Courier.
A new theatrical spectacle is to have
an "lectric ballet" That sounds us il
it might be u pretty shocking show
Philadelphia Recora.
"What would you do If you found
yourself in a deadlock? Why. get
out of it with skeleton key, Of
course. "-FuMmy Fotks.
Visitor-What have you got an elcc-
tric bell here in the Kitchen for? Cook
Silly girl! Why, it's to call my
missus when l want ller.-LWstige Biui-
ter.
when the war broke out did you
take the iied?" 10 yes. several oi
them. l staid at home and ran a
mortgage loan Office. ."-Dctyon 1ri-
0Wne.
No table of liquid measure in the
books states the fact. but u person if
he tries can get II lcck of trouble
out of pint of whisA y.-P4iiuttcI,hta
Times.
She-Ihis is such stormy season to
cross the Atlantic. Was your VOYAGE
remarkable in any way? Ne-WeIl.
should say SO, held tour aces twice.
-l'oguc.
"Did you ever get back the umbrella
that you lent Brasher?" Eyes" "Howo."
IL borrowed it again" sFrom Brash-
er?" NO; from the man he lent it
to."- -I!ashi0gson Star.
When doctor starts about seeing
whether Il modern pr.ze-iigh,er is in
condition one OF the first things he
does is to bid him let him see his
tongUe.-lMiladelphia Times.
Justly lrate Party-Robcrt, you arc
u naughty boy. You want a jolly
good hiding. kobcrt-Par,lon me, ia
ther. may need chaslisement, but
do not aca"t it.-LoMesom Jueiy.
"Say, Ebnezah, what's dat chune de
man dat moved mex door ter you sings
cherry time he GOES ter his wood nile 2"
81 don't know, but l reckon it mus
be de los cord. Wushinyto.s Star.
Miss Eldcrby-You have never met
my elder sister. have you? Cleverlon
Why, no. Miss Elderly. l didn't
suppose it was possible that you had
All cider sis,er.-DtA'on Free Press.
"lngersoll says that Homer didn't
believe in religion" NONSENSE! We
have reason to believe hc went to
church anyway" .What is it?"
Didn't he sometimes nod?'-Judqe.
Tommy Figg--Sisler's beau kicked
my dog yesterday. but got even with
him, you bet. Johnny Briggs How?
Tommy Fi.gg-I mixed qniiine with
her face powder.-Iutiianupoiis Senti-
mci.
She-I have telegram for you.
That wealthy uncle of yours is diving.
He-Hip. hip, hurrah! She-Gracious!
Why do you hurrah? He-I want to
cheer him in his last hours.-Byook{y1
Life.
At country ball-aMy dear, sir.
you have just stepped on my partners
foot. demand satisfaction" .Oh
certainly. Yonder sits my wife; 20
and step on hci foot.
Skya Ga.seta.
A duel between the treasury of a
county and the Treasurer generally
ends in the discontinue of the former.
and it retires from tho unequal field
with severe wound in the Chest
Texas Stttings.
sWas your watchman we'll recom-
mended?" 20. not directly. used
to see him in church. and as he staid
awake all through DIR. Sonora's SER
mon concluded he was the man l
wanted. ."-1cras Sif1ings.
Jake Here's % advertisement in tn
paper for that dog yon found. The
man who owns him offers q reward.
Jim-How dye know it's q man?
Jake-The paper says, "No questions
asked.-N. y. Weekly.
"'ro think that my Ethel should have
spoken so impertinenllv to papa at
dinner. She never hears mamma
talk that way to him." Ethel (stout-
ly)-"Wel, but you chooscd him and
didn't. ."-IIt- Bits.
Il cannot recommend that feather
duster for service," said an attendant
in a Market street store. abut all the
ladies are buying that kind because it
bears such strong resemblance to
Padercwski's d.-Rhiladelphi1 Rec.
ord.
sJohn, this is bad report you bring
me from school," John-I know ia
ther, but you know you said if would
bring you home a tirst-class report
you would give me shilling, and I
wanted to save you that expense
FOrget-Aie-Not.
Husband Grritablv)-Can't you re-
member where l said left my glasses
ut the breakfast table this morning?
Wife-Tm sorry. dear, really can't.
Husband (pesvishly)-That just shows
tho fr1noco 0.ns,