Fort Worth gazette. [volume] (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1891-1898, 1893-08-03
LEAVES FRoR LlEE.


OF Imagination" said Burg Zeis, 4 HAr-
ward graduate. WIN represents q iarce
| Roston Uilk aud Undertaking house
As soou a. April makes lie appearance
| start out On the reAd with my grips
full " heavy winter eloihing. and this
the PRECIPITATION of my classic brow. 1
hold to the gaze Of my customers extra
heavy garments and point out bow per
fecfiy they will protect their customers
from the severe weather Of the coming
winter. for which we al loag just then
a. a measure Of relief from setni-snn-
stroke and actual melting away. The
heat keeps pace with my cl1queuce as 10
the dangers " cold. aud when September
arrives with the hrs; Indication that the
sun has begun TO get the worst OF u IN
rs Annual prize fight with every living
thing. | 20 out again With the hghtest %
fabrics aud the gaurlest Of underwear.
These | sell all winter. aud a. Knock
the SNOW OFT NY shoes and shake more OF
il off my oyercoat 1 dilate on the CON.
fort OF wearing net undercloihing and
stockings through which the mhdest Of
breezes can penetrate A travelling mans
lot is q mixture OF the sublime ana ridicu-
lons. and | certainly get fun measures
OF the latter The only thing that re
gre, is that l can't reeoneile my uul! 70
ms principles with the dlYine maxim
about not taking thought for the uior'
row.
sHREwD YANKEE-'There are de
vices practced Ia the far West Cd
served an Omaha man recently tor
making money. devices that appeal 10
aud thst are, By long way lhore
ingenious than commeudable.
Every now aud them be went on.
"a shrewd fastener segs an UNLOCKED
for opportunity to get ahead IN the w est.
lie generally intends 10 remain Just lOAs
enongh 10 get a biz bank account a,nH
rH. hl-nr 1nd sitnN me
money. Oftcner than not he does not
.rsw West, is recruited with just such
Eastern adventures.
There Is a man living on a claim near
the frontier town OF Hecla, Wyo, Whos'
career so far has been pre-emihehuy sue
cessful
land claim for Con acres. He had MS
I'VE upon the land adjoining his own,
where an old frOutiersmun lived aiOht
with his daughter. f
.sTbe shrewd fastener gained the favor
Of the old man by winning us way lhtS
the daughters affections aud aiter"Afu
"He then put his father-in-law into th,
way Of stealing sheep that bad wandered
from neighboring ranches, claiming .hnl
they We're commuuistic properly: botH
were arrested. as the 'buslness a w,
knew and intended they should De- ING
latter then turned states evidence uhd
THAT was part Of his well formulated
sebefnp Whil" his father-in-law Wgf
serving out his sentence In prison the
EHsternrr Jumped the Old mans claim
hired an INSCRIPTIONS neighhor to run
away with his wife and oplulAeh w
v0rce on the ground Of deserilou'
He now smokes the pipe OF peace us
he surveys his broad acres anu cohEFAt H-
i,tr. himself upUu his shrewduels- lie
,yiu probably return East some DAY ~
Inubt he'll pose as western 'attl'
King or something Of the sort when he
does"
HIS NATIONAL BENT-'The other
dnv a son VI the Green lsle.whose heavy
brocens still bore the traces Of ne Dogs
and Whose tongue WIS thick WIN lhe
irpc7ie III County Cork, stepped INTO a
r,,lice STATION and asked for me c'plah'
What dyes want here inquired the
l.nughty sergeant % the desk.
.Oi want Job. says the Verdant Nlsi'
"awcn this amt no place fur job. .un-
| Iesl It's n nUicp coscy cell yes want.
"a cui' Is il. beg6b? An Is thot tn
way yc- got yer job on H. foorGeF =.
Eiii haughtineSs nearly teii on hl5
stool lie finally came oTou'u Ihe r"'
and locked the singular VISITOR over.
"fi,w long since yes come oyerF''
"a fortnight come tomorrer said the
"Xn what kind Of job is it you'd be
! after hayin hcreF n, Ia.
her To feed chickcnst Ol want a JOB on
| 49, f...r.f %
"Howly mother" exclaimed the ser
| ,r.aut running his hands through his hair.
! mot here two wakes, aud are wanuh Ia
"ol am thot mont was the confident
reply. , at, va, ,hov unr -
| kiddiu' We. lnhw The officer spoke syinpa,
thetlraliy WYATT TN y kin spake ~
| iangwidge Of IN country an know Broad
way from Baxter street
"'Begob, an It's lapgwidge, Is H. yer
| giyin urf Shurc. an yez amt bin over
| MORN siycn wakes yerselG Yer hrogue /,
AS thick ns a hog. I'll see the captin.'
Aud he waited half an hour. aud ii re
quired the entire reserve to put him out
A LITTLE FACT-"Its strange
can't ert my wife to mend my Clothes
remarked Mr. Bride, disgustsdly. 81
asked her to sew the buttons ON this vest
this morning, and she has never touched
Won asked herr" observed Mr.. Norris
with slight shrug Of his shoulders
Yes; what else should ! dof'
"You haven't been hurried very long
and perhaps you'll takc u pointer tron
me-" remarked Mr.. Norris. with faith
crly air. Never ask a woman to ment
anything; that's fatal
why. what do you mean
DO ns do. When ] want to have
SHIRT meude1. for instance. ! take II u
my hand aud hunt up my wife, Where
that rag bag. Mrs. NorrisF ] deman,
| her.rly
What do YOU want the rag bag for;
she says suspiciously
81 want 10 throw this shirt away; IL
all Worn out | reply
&c" Let me see H. she demands,
but | put the garment behind m!
back.
mo my dear answer, there is n,
use OF your attempting to do nuythinl
with u. IL needs
Let Inc see It, she reiterates
hut its all worn out, | tell you
Now, John you give me that shirt,
she says IN lev nost perruptory tones
II hand over O.. gnrucut,
WHY John Norris" She cries, Will
womarly triumph. THIS is pcrfccil
good shirt; all It needs Is Il new neck
band
"'And The cuffs are ragged, too,
answer. mildly.
"'And new wristbands and the button
holes worked ONpr sha uills