Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-02-11

soh Al your PAIN VIII be the opening OF an once
door. Well, don't knock az the door Of public
Office. Even If the man you seek keeps many
clerks and an Office boy they are there for
other purposes than opening the door for timid
Cor stupid) applicants for employment And
1t may even happen that the man of business
VIII have 10 answer vour knock himself and this
makes him mad and preiudices him against you
AT the very start You will never fully appre-
ciate this until YOU have heard a harassed. inn
patient man repeatedly call out Come in" in
response to some womsns feeble tap. and Use
objectionable language under his breath be-
tween times because she doesn't come in.
NO REASON TO KNOCK.
Then, TOO. there Is no esrlhty reason why Won
should knock. business man is IN his Office
for business and is not supposed to be engaged
in anything else. II he should have occasion to
change his shoes or his cravat or 10 open a bot
lie OF beer, You may be quite he would
lock the door during the performance But as
long as his door is unlocked the proper thing
for You To do is 10 walk right in and ask your
questions and make Your apologies Afterward
and very briefly. This doubtless seems a mere
trite to YOU, but it is one o? the most irritating
of the trifes that daily harass the business
man.
MUST EXPECT NO MORE THAN A MAN.
II you should patronize q dairy lunch YOU
must not expect the man behind tbs bar to
bring out your lunch and otherwise wait upon
you Your custom is worth no more TO him
than mans, and he cannot afford TO give you
better service. IL he does il is most distinctly
courtesy and should be acknowledged as such.
The bank is an institution which hope you
viii have occasion to frequent; and / want you
TO bear it in mind that although man in a
long line may give YOU plsce, YOU have no
right TO expect it. The yielding OF place in line
at bank Is very different matter from giving a
seat In a street car. though every one knows
that even that is given solely through courtesy.
In short, having thrust yourself into place
Whatever, You are in no position to make de-
mands upon the patience and kindness of those
about you.
NEVER BE FAcETIoUs.
In your search for employment never for a
moment be facetious, through either embsr-
rassment or a feverish desire to avoid being
commonplace. Be serious even at the risk of
seeming stupid. No man will willingly take
smart aleck' into bis Office especially a femi-
nine one He will know that a stupid person
may be Taught, but smart one" never. Even
if not facetious, don't make the mistake of APP
pearing too clever. A man wants a sensible,
intelligent employe, but he likes to feel that he
knows more than some. et least, of his clerks.
The most satisfactory state of mind for eler
Is to know, If possible, those things which her
employer seems TO expect her to know, but TO
be receptive and fairly ignorant regarding
those ludtters OF WHICH ne taxes IL 1Or
granted she knows nothing. Much has been
said about mans delight in being looked up to,
admired, resered by woman. But 10 certainly
is true that one in authority finds il irritating
to be constantly taken down" by a subor-
dinate. And SO, / advise you. display as Nttis
ignorance y may be regarding matters which
You expected to be mistress OF. but at all
other times refrain from showing off. Don't
air your Greek in a real estate Office unless it is
asked for. If you must dazzle the eyes Of all
beholders at least confine your scintillations to
society. In Office suppress every thing substan-
italy but your hardest horse sense, your even
temper and your obliging disposition
RESPECT NOT COURTESY. MUST BE EXPECTED.
And, darling. when you have succeeded in
finding place and have settled down to work,
remember that while you may and mus. always
insist upon being treated with respect Won
cannot ALWAYS expect 70 be treated with what
you may regard as courtesy.
While woman is today to be found in almost
every line OF employment, she is there not on
the same footing In the drawing room, but
as working woman. She is there because she
has forced herself into the place and must and
will remain. She is there not n favor TO her
EMPLOYER and those with whom she is thrown
in contact, but as a favor TO herself.
Il is not reasonable for her to expect that
nice courtesy which she naturally looks for in
all Of her purely social relations. In society
association with her should be a privilege for
the others concerned. not for her. But in bust
ness she is not in n position to dictate the
manner in which she shall be treated Her
only remedy is to leave, and this she must do If
il becomes necessary in order to preserve her
self respect as woman. Although there are
Offices in which all the men are 20 thoroughly
and unaltersbly gentlemen that they never fail
to be scrupulousiy courteous, vet many a man
without intending to be rude TO his clerks treats
them all with scant courtesy, the women as well
as the men-he ''has no time for fol-de-rols."
TREATMENT NOT TO BE RESENTED.
In your business life you will probably be
treated very much as one man would treat an
other; and this 10 just the sort Of treatment YOU
need never resent You cannot ask in sny sit
uation for q mans rights and q woman's priyi-
leges and immunities.
A woman who has her own bread to win can
not afford to resent mere lack Of courtesy or
even rudeness. II is only intentional '.fresh-
ness" that need arouse her ire, and which she
must not for q moment tolerate. You can harden
yourself and learn to stand it il your EMPLOYER
swears at you, but il he is disposed to comment
admiringly upon q new arrangement Of your
hair and do other things of that nature you
must look for another situation, no matter how
sore your need for employment
Indeed. 1 am insxpressibly sorry that Won
must earn your own living. as 1 have done: for
while / know that the working woman need not
in the least sacrifice her self-respect vet I
know, too that she must and does lose MANY of
the dainty traits that make women SO delight
fully different from men. The constant alert
ness which comes from 'looking out for her
SELF causes harshness that il not at all xttrae
tive or desirable. And, my dear, when / saw
attractive" and desirable" don't imagine FOR
O moment that | mean attractive to men mar
ticularly. 1t is, as you know, nv idea that
people should all make Of themselves desirable
factors in the world-should nav their vny in
some manner-should afford, if possible. some
justification for having been created; and so a
woman should be agreeable TO the men she
meets, because they make mp q large part of the
world with which she must mineie, and to
which she owes . duty.
MCsT COMMEND HERSELF TO woxEx
But the most attractive and admirsble-the
most perfect-woman is the one who most COM
mends herself to fine women. know n Is charged
that women do not appreciate each other; but
We women know that they do, and much more
truly than do men No one admires Q noble
woman a. much - women do: and certainly no
one Is ever 10 enthusiastic a woman about
feminine beeuty, whether she herself has il or
not.
And, dear child, II in your own business life
you should become fully convinced that greater
success can be attained only by greater sacri-
nee Of dainty vonanlines don't strive for it
an sure You win in tho end b glad to have
chosen 10 be first Of all woman, losing a. lit
tie Is possible of womsn's own innate charm
and achisvinG only that financial success which