Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1893-07-06
THE BRUTE AND THE HAT.


Ptaihths Ut heauKear.
There is something extremely fati-
guing in all this talk about the big hats
at the theater. From every point come
shafts of ridiculo and even abuse to the
woman who wears to the theater bon
net larger than a saucepan. Those who
make all this hubbub are the very ones
who have the least right to. and I'll
prove it.
1t Is generally man-plain, horrid,
grabbed man-who finds so much fault
with our hats. Now, don't mind tell
ing you that it is this same man who does
more to spoil lady's evening at the the
ater than all the hats in Christendom.
You know him as well as I do, for you
meet him at every theater. He seems 10
have nothing in the world to do but TO
go to playhouses and cause people to
wish they had never been born.
This man. whom we ell know. never
gets to the theater until the play has he-
gun. And, what is more astonis..i.-; !;
and even more aggravating, he always
selects seat midway between two aisles
and in the most crowded section of the
house
Down the aisle he-this horrid man
tramps, every step drowning at least
two lines Of the dialogue. At his row
he stops and gloats over his victims as
he counts how many there are. Adjust
ing his overcoat SO that it will hit every
hat in the line and dishevel every bang
under those hats, he begins his mad
plunge for his seat. His cane he carries
- that it Will catch every thread Of lace
or every ornament, while he SO handles
his feet rs To take an inch of patent
leather of every shoe.
Gained his seat and he casts his eve
along the wreck he has wrought. looks
into the face Of every auditor in the
house, bangs mp his chair. then down
again, throws his overcoat over it so
that 1t Will hit the victim behind him,
and down he planks himself with a grunt
Of sublime satisfaction at having for
once in his life made his presence felt by
scores.
This j. the individual who usually
makes remarks about big hats in thea
tcrs
And | am going to tell YOU how this
ubiquitous acquaintance Of ours was
most beautifully "sat on" tho other even
ing
II was AZ a down town thcatcr Tho
prettirst, dalntlest. most exeuisitclv
dressed little girl came in Her hat was
perfect dream. though I'll admit it WAS
rather large. Yet II WAS 50 bcwitchin:lv
becoming that only brute could have
breathei word against il. The girl
had hardly seated herself and arranged
a rcbellious lock Of hair that persisted
IN looking into her ey'-. when this hor-
rid brute Of man of whom have been
Speaking gave vent 10 the following piece
Of pure, unadulterated hrutishness:
"Oh. Lord, How arm expected 10 see
through that hAt::'
He rather fAttercd himself. think, If
he imagined the girl had any cxI.,ct4-
tiuns in regard 10 him when she put the
hat on However. a dubious look passed.
over her face, size hesitated moment,
then raised her hands. unpinne,l her hat
and took il off with a deep Sigh that
should have gone straight to that man 5
heart. she then turned around and
with n charming smile. which went 10
show that woman never does ANYTHING
by halves. She asked:
lis that better now
And this horrid man. this foe TO hats.
Gangs, laceo and ornaments, this tram
pier on rights and patent leather shoes.
had the boliness to say that he believed
he would g. ont to see friend.
The girl: on, she held her hat through
out the performance Blanche Hastings
i'll san Francisco Examiner.