The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1893-06-14
The Troubles Of Being Woman.

1
Upon the whole it ia q dreadful thing to
be 8 woman, and do the business up in
good shape.
In the first place, you've got to look
we'll, or else you're nobody. A man may
be homely and still be popular. Whis-
kers cover up the most of his face, and if
he has got large mouth, nobody mis-
trusts it; aud, if he wrinkles bad on his
forehead, his friends speak of his many
cares, and of his thoughtful disposition,
and tell each other that his wrinkles are
lines of thought. Lines of thought, in.
deed when, in all probability, his fore
head is wrinkled by the habit he has got
of scowliug at his wife when the coffee
isn't strong enough.
A woman must always be in good order
throughout. Her hair must be frizzed
and banged as the fashion demands and
she must powder if she has shining skin !;
and she must manage to look sweet, no
matter how sour she may feel, and she
must hang just so, and her laces must be
always g2otless, and her boot buttons al
ways in place, and her finger nails clean,
she mustn't whistle nor climb fences
nor stone cats, nor swear, when she is
mad.
She can't go out alone becauae ladies
must be protected. She can't 60 any.
where when it rains, because her hair
| won't stay crimped, and she'll get mud
on her petticoats, and things. She can't
be a Freemason, because she would tell
their secrets, and everybody would know
all about that goat and that gridiron
She can't smoke becaurs it wouldn't be
| feminine. She can't 60 courting because
| it is unwomanly. But she must get mar.
| ried before she is twenty-five or every
body will feel wropged. People will sigh
over her, and wonder why it is that men
"don't seem to take," aud all the old
| maids and widows will smile significantly
and keep quiet.
Oh, these smiles and these significant
look,l They are ten times worse than
open slsnder.
lis terrible thing to be an old maid
terrible Everybody Knows it is, and
the women who are married to drunken
husbands, and who manage to qusrrel
with them six days out of the seven, will
groan in agony of spirit over the sin
gle woman, and call her the poor old
maid
A woman must marry rich, or she
doesn't marry "well." To marry well is
the end of woman's existence, judging
| from view which people in general take
of the matter.
It is everybody's business who woman
marries. The whole neighborhocd put
their heads together and talk over the
pros and cons, and decide whether she is
good enough for him. And they criticise
the shape of her nose, and the way she
does up her hair, and relate anecdotes OF
how lazy her grandfather was, and how
her Aunt Sally used to sell beans and but.
ter milk.
A woman must wear No. boots on
No. 8 feet, and she must manage to dress
we'll on seventy-6ve cents week; and
she must be kind to the poor, and be
ready to dress dolls, and make aprons
and ties for church fairs.
She must be good cook, and she
must be able to "do up" her husbands
shirts so that the heathen Chinese wash.
erman would groan with envy and gnash
his teeth with the same unholy passion,
at sight of them.
She must always have the masculine
buttons in the family sewed on 80 that
they never will come off while in use,
and she must keep the family hosiery so
that nobody would mistrust that there
were toes inside of the stockings when
they are on.
She must hold herself in continual
readiness to lind everything her husband
has lost-snd 8 man never knows where
anything is. He will put bis boots care
fully away on the parlor sofa, and when
he has hunted after them half an hour
he will appear to his wife with
countenance like that of the aveng.
ing angel, and demand to know "What
in the thunder has she done with my
boots 2"
She must shut all the doors after her
lord and master, and likewise the bureau
drawers, for married man never was
known to shut drawer. 1t would be as
unnatural as for q hen to go swimming
for recreation.
She must 20 to bed first in cold wealth
er, so as to get the bed warmed. Her hus'
band, If he be wise man, asks her to do
this, but he sits up to finish piece in
the paper" and waits while his wife
gets the sheets to comfortable tempers'
ture.
Ah, there are good many tricks in
the trade of what is called "living togeth-
er."
a woman is expected to take care OF
the baby, even after the frat infantile
wonder multiplies into round dozen.
And if he doubles up with colic, or the
trials of cutting teeth, necessary evils OF
the mumps, and measles, and whooping
cough, aud scarlet fever, and rash, and
throat distemper, and short sleeves, and
bare legs, and pins sticking into him,
and too much candy and bad temper,
why her husband tells her that "he does
wish she'd try and quiet the baby"
And be says it just as ifbe fully believed
that she alone was responsible for its be-
ing in existence and as if he thought