Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-08-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Old as the hills The dales.
Made to order-The waitress.
Two wrongs make lawyers write.
Alive and kicking disappointed
of1ice-seeker.
The buzz-sa is always ready to
take hand in.
A burning question Was there any
insurance. New York Journal.
Little wonder that one of the billiard
balls is so red. 1t is often kissed.
Upon the gay excursion boat
That sails by town and thicket
They say that Cupid always has
Communication ticket
Washington Star.
The laws delays are not manifested
in the presentation of lawyers bills
Puck.
Smugglers are eccentric people
they avoid the regular customs. -
Truth.
Every man is n great baby ii he can
find the right one 20 cry to.--Atchison
Globe.
'Well, do declarel' said Thomas
Jefferson, as he signed the Declaration
of independence, Puck.
81 will now get into my coat of
mail, " remarked the letter when it saw
the stamped envelope Washington
Star.
''Of what are you thinking?"
''Of nothing said she.
"Oh. thank you, said Cholly,
For thinking of me-"
Washington Star
Patient doctor, is there any sure
cure for dandruff?" Doctor "Yes,
cultivate a bald head. Detroit Free
Press.
While the elevator man gives many
fellow lift, he doesn't hesitate to
run chap down. Philadelphia
Record.
'Do you think this dress makes me
look older?" Clerk 81 don't see how
it possibly could, ma am. Chicago
1nterOcean.
There is nothing q man hates worse
than to have his wife call him into her
room and say she wants to have a
private talk with him. --Atchison Globe.
He saw many sights at the Fair
That others had failed to take in,
For he planted his heel by mistake
On piece of soft orange skin.
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Teacher pease grow on vines
or on bushes?" Pupil Whose father
keeps summer boarding house,
''They comes in cans. Boston Tran
script.
The Blonde--"Of course he thinks
her an angel, wings and all. " The
Brunette 81 guess he does. She told
me he wanted her to fly with him. =
Troy Press.
"Move on, there !" said the facetious
policeman to a lounger near a Western
States prison; ''the Sheriffs the only
man who is allowed to hang about
here Statesman.
Dicksmith- "How do you account
for Miss Muchcash never having mar
ried ?" Kajones Easy enough She's
too blamed stingy even to entertain o.
proposal. " Buffalo Courier.
"If money does talk, observed
Snobbs, the other night, Il would like
to ssk the girl on the silver dollar why
Enc 90 PclSiottittil dIt su'tSSSitiiD
shuns me. Philadelphia Record.
Vans not looking at all we'll for
man who's just back from health re-
sort. y "No. They call it health
resort because one leaves ones health
there. - Kate Fields Washington.
In French School Teacher
"What is the matter, boys? You are
all covered with mud. Pupils
''Oh, sir, we've only been playing the
Panama Canal game. ." journal Anus
art.
Jinks- DO you approve OF mar
riage with deceased wife's sister?"
Binks Certainly I do" Hnks-
And why, may ask ?' Binks 'Be
cause of the saving in mothers-in law.
Funny Folks.
'What / want, father, said the
young man with the college medal, sis
n wide field " Good !" exclaimed the
old gentleman. 81 always said you had
horse sense, John take the blind mule
and ten acres Detroit Free Press.
No Consideration For His Loss.