Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1893-01-19
PllNaENT PARAGRAPHS.

PuNaENT PARAGRAPHS.
Husband Didn't YOU promise 10
obey hesat the altar? Wife-..Ye but
we're not there Witt Bits
Visitor-.'NVhat is all that noise and
racket IN the private ofice?' Office Boy
10, that's the silent partner going
over the books. Life.
Durable. Mother My child il
tongue-tied, doctor" Doctor-'Um-er-
ah-don't worry about that, madam.
It isn't inherited. - Detroit Free Press.
where have you been, doctor?''
Caring hams" Really? Why. don't
you buy them already cured?'' .You
misunderstood me, guess. I'VE been
prescribing for couple Of actors. -
Omaha World Herald.
He told me 1 was the only girl he
ever loved. = And told it SO that YOU
believed sit?' inquired her confidante.
Yes would consider his offer
very carefully. He certainly ought to
do wellln business. Washington Star.
Mrs Hicks-''Why, Mrs. Dix, how
pale you look!' Mrs. Dix-'sYes, I've
been having lots Of trouble lately with
q boil" Mrs Hicks ''I'm so sorry!
Was it on your neck?' Mrs. Dix-.'No,
it was on my husband. ''-Somerville
Journal
I'VE don't place any value on things
s till we lose them" said Mrs Smith.
That's SO, said the Widow Jones; ST
never knew what good husband had
lost until ! heard the min ster preach
his funeral sermon."-N Y Press.
Heroic Treatment-Mrs. Watts
= What is that you are making now?"
Mrs. Potts-''A smoking jacket for my
husband. If that doesn't cure him Of
smoking around the house, / don't
know what will. "---Indianapolis jour
nxl
Keeping His Memory Green. Miss
!. Euveygh-"Can it be that the Widow
Wonsommer has put aside her weeds SO
soon?" Miss Gellus-''No, not entirely.
.She is still wearing them several feet
high over her late husbands grave. -
July.
]. Look here, Herr Pipser, this canary
you sold me the other day as good
song ter hasn't opened his mouth yet !"
'Ah, that is because he is proud bird.
He knows that he has not been paid for
yet; and on credit he does not sing. -
Fliegende Batter.
She (gushingly)-'There are days
when we seem more in unison with
nature than at other times; when our
hearts seem to beat in accord with the
sublime harmony of the universe
Have you ever noticed?" He-'Indeed
Ihave. It is always that way with me
on pay day"
Wasn't it sad about old Millions
failure?" ''What! has he failed?" "Yes,
gone clean to smash" Chats too bad;
he promised me something yesterday,
but now in his trouble will not hold
him to it." ''That's generous of you.
What was it?'' Ellis daughters hand
in marriage. "-Tit-Bits.,
"A well-known total-abstinence lee
turer recently delivered himself thusly:
II have a weapon in my tongue, friends,
with which I propose to kill all fools"
''Collar him, Mr.. Chairman yelled a
voice from the back row. Hes a-goin'
to commit suicide. brakes Magazine.
-Good-natured Friend-''What a
nice-looking little dear it is" Fond
Mother-"Do you think he takes after
me or his dada?' Good-natured Friend
well, don't see any resem blance to
either of you just yet but you never
can tell, they change SO as they grow
up, and sometimes the prettiest babies
grow up plainest. Fun.
They say that stolen kisses are the
sweetest" he said, as they sat on the
steps looking at the moon. "Indeed?"
she said. Eyes. What do you think
about it?' 20, I have no opinion at
all; but it seems to me, if were young
man, wouldn't be long in doubt as to
whether they were or ot"-N. Y. Press.