The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-11-16
CHE aoANOKE7 TIMES. THURSDAY NOVEMBER IS 1893.

arguments, Josiah Allen; it there hain't
o grain of salt in 'em how can they be
KEEP for any length Of time. Butt sez
!, these men GO too fur In their ideess
'they hain't mcjum enough
Eyes, they be-" seq he, "they are jest
exactly right. and they know 1t and
know it and every liyin' man knows 1t.
Obi" seq he warmly, ''thcm men put
mon and wimmen In their own different
spears and keep 'em there SO beauti-
fully. If you would foller up them
idees. Samantha Allen, / would be the
happiest man in Jonesville or the
worl5."
"Well," SEE +, in reasonable axents,
az would be wiliin' to charm you,
Josiah Allen, but 1 don't see how I
could allure and do, housework at the
same time.
And then we had some words.
SEE /: This butter has got to be nut
down, and I would like to have you
bring up the tub from the suller and
have you help pack it. It is hard work
for woman's arms, when they are
Almost broke off already"
WALL" sez he, short and terse, 'if 1
go to Jonesville that democrat has got
10 DC BTcuSeu.
And he lsetched up his basin of wag-
on-grease, from the suller-way, and
started off almost OH the run.
And, if you'll believe it, that man
slammed the door behind him. And
whether itwuz that slam, or whether
it wuz his refusal to bring up that tub,
or whether it wuz wuz so tired out, or
whether it wuz that piece he had read
wuz a-gratin' on my nerve onbeknown
to me-whetheri it wuz any of these or
all on 'em put together, don't know
but tenny rate, before the echo of that
slam had died awayin the spare room
and parlor, I jest dropped that butter
ladle down, sot the bowl on the but
terry shelf and, seq ] to myself, in the
inside Of my own mind, but firm and
positive:
"I'll take you at your word. Josiah
Allen. will do the rose act as near
as can make out what it is, and you
may work for me while / allure and
charm. will emulate the rose and be
silent"
turned over in my mind all the pic
lures l had seen of females trying to
allure and charm, and recollected, as
nigh as could remember, that they
had ginerally been in settin' poster, so
consequently sot.
believe, too, it wuz proper for me to
sort O. clasp my hands in easy, grace
full attitude and smile some, SO conse-
quently smiled considerable
had, previous to my goin' into the
parlor, put on u good clean bingham
dress, brown and black plaid, and u
white bib apron.
didn't remember of any of the fe-
males l had mentioned appearin' in u
bib apron, but, thinks 1, a bib, more or
less, amt goin' to make or break al
lurer and charmer. So I venturcd it.
And l leaned back in my most lux
urions armed chair, covered with good,
handsome copper plate calico. and. as 1
say, smiled quite good deal, and looked
very allurin' and winnin'.
Thinks cs I, don't know exactly
how to do the "rosc act" without any
regular rules. knew roses blew out,
but it couldn't be that men would set
that for n sampler for their companions,
for they are deadly opposed to their
pardners tallkin' on duty which they, in
their blindness, call "blowin' BLOWN
round"
No; knew 1t wuzn't that 1 s'posed
it meant to keep still and look pretty.
So tried faithful I am always very
thorough in anything 1 undertake.
Wall, jest rs got my hands clasped
in very graceful and allurin' attitude.
and my lips wreathed in winsome
smile, my pardner entered with his
basin of wagon-grease in his hand.
l set where l could see him plain.
He glanced into the buttery, and SEE
he:
Gracious Heavens! Hain't that but
ter finished? Nor the tea-kettle on at
half-past eleven?"
1 smiled at him as sweet as I knew
how but KEEP silent
Ag'in he yelled: why, in the name
of the gracious Peter, hain't dinner I'M
der way?"
Agin 1 smiled And ag'in 1 KEEP
silence. (The rose act," jest as nigh
as could foller it)
And finally he sez, loolsin' clost at
me:
What are you a-tryin' to do, any
way?"
Then come out plain and seq to him,
in middlin' calm axents, but firm:
Josiah Allen, I am a-tryin' to allure
and charm"
SEE he: you are a-bein' gol-darned
fool, that's what You are -bein'." That
wuz the secont time he had used that
dreadful word "gol darn since our
married life commenced But I still
smiled and murmured. gently and ten
derby:
"Sweet pet"
And then Josiah Allen burst out into
words that won't tell, even if am
put on thevery pint of the steak.