The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1893-04-26
MIR. and Mrs. sowser.
sons od Rsoal.esions R.liessi and D.lliied-

see" said Mrs. Bowser, 2s she sat
reading the paper the other evening.
while Mr.. Bowser was trying 10 dig peg
out of his shOe-@I see that another
Brooklyn man has run away and left his
wife,
Has, ehq Wei. don't wonder at
il" replied Dir. Bowser
@Did you read the item?r
"0h, but I know how it happened.
He found out that he couldn't take bit
of comfort in his home, and he left it.
Noone knows the misery that poor man
suffered before he took that step"
1T doesn't say he was unhappy"
"Of course not No husband ever gets
justice to say nothing Of pity. III bet
he suffered thousand deaths before he
walked away to die in some lonely spot
by his own hand
~well, dear, you'll never be driven
away al any act Of mine" she said as
she went over and kissed him.
~W-what in thunder are you doingP'
shouted Mr.. Bowser, as he dropped the
shoe and sprang up.
why, kissed you"
We'll, don't want anybody blowing
into my ears or splitting on my chin .
What struck you all at once -
@There was a time, Mr. BoEser-there
was time when
When what?r
When you said that if ! would kiss
you, you would be the happiest man in
the whole world.
"NeFerl Never even hinfed such a
thing Iwasn't that sort Of a noodle
head P'
Mr.. Bowser, Why, there was COR
three months, while 1 was making up
my mind to marry you, that you eoald
hardly live from day 10 day"
Waiting You waiting, Well that Is
cool That tickIes me-ha, ha, har be
shouted, as be held his sides.
Yes, waiting"
Why-ha Ia, ha.-you said yes 50
mighty quick you bit your tongue in do
ing it The idea Of me pining and vast
ing away because I feared you would
say no"
do you remember the pet name you
used 20 call me p she asked.
Z" Pet nonsense -
You called me your red Wild rose"
"Rsd Wild pigweed Are you getting
sofl in the head, Mrs Bowser ,"
Nearly al your letters to me we're
dated anywhere from midnight to i
O'Clock IN the morning, and"
Never. Never wrote you letter ex-
eept in the afternoon, when hadn't any
thing to do and wanted to use up half an
hours tine, replied Mr. Bowser.
And every one Of them speaks Of how
lonely you were, and with what joyous
anticipations you looked forward to your
next call"
Lonely Joyous 4nticipations I'd be
apt to lonely when there we're a dozen
or more mighty good looking girls after
me, wouldn't 70
Bot in few brief years after mar
rage how the average husband does
change observed Mrs. Bowser, as If
speaking to herself
Yes, that's il. You hunted me down
and got me to marry you. and now you
are trying TO make my home happy. II
you are feeling badly why don't you 90
and make yourself some catnip tea"
Husbands talk about happy homes"
she continued, as she looked the paper
over, but what do they do to make it
happy %
While they are coarting they are al
smiles and soft talk, but the honeymoon
is no sooner over than they stand reveal
ed in their tree colors."
Keep pitching right in, Mrs. BO~ser +.
Nothing ike a fault-fnding wife 10
make home pleasant -
Do you remember that Fourth Of Ju-
ly evening when We sst on the veranda. +"
she asked. Il shall always remember
whaf you said that night aud hoE much
the situation affected you
Affected me, What on earth are you
talking about -
You took ny hand in yours. Mr..
BoBser and you asked me to please try
and learn TO love you"
Never, Ifyo1'd swear to that on Il
family Bibles I wouldn't believe it,
@Yousaid that life was but a weary
waste TO you before crossed your path.
and
"IBever dij-never never. never r
he shouted as he sprang up, No one bet
you ever charged me with being an IDIOT
or iuna,ie :.
Didn't you once show me soma bak-
/ ing powder in a pill box and tell me il
was strychnine, and tha; you'd take il if
I married any one else 2'
Never Never cared two c0nts wheth-
/ er you married any ore else ,"
And you deny that when father came
out one evening and threw you Of the
stoop and told YOU never 20 come back
+ that you wrote me YOU
Threw me or the stoopl Your faith
/ er. By the great hornspoOn, but this IS
too much, Ms Bowser, Threw me. I'd
ike to have seen the hole caboodie OF
your relations throw meef a stoop"
Perhaps you daa't remember how
! you used to compare my eyes to stars and
tell me that il would be the one effort o.
yOur life 70 make me happy ?"
Eyes, Stars. The idea Of ny taking
any such bosh came home expecting
u spend a happy evening in the bosom
Of my family and you've gone and
knocked il al over, That's the way with
the tzrnal womaE-slways kicking and
complaining about something"
There was q time when you used to
/ pet me, Mr.. B0Eser."
@Tha:'s It. Keep right on hsrp;ng OF
that sane old string, If husband don'l
tel bis wife 20 times day that she's bis
wife, % times day that she's his shin
ing star she's ready to kick and make bis
home miserable, may be driven oat any
day nov. I've seen itcoming for the las
tEo years. put l was helpless Tn going
to lock up and % 70 bed. Good night