davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
HUMOROUS.

-"What made you wink ut the clerk
when you were buying soda water?"
"Oh, that was the sign of secret or.
der. er."--Indianapolis journal.
--Joax-'I threw baseball q mile
yesterday" Hoax-"oh, come Off"
Joax--"Yes, did! You see, threw the
ball at a mark, but it went amiss, and
miss is as good as a mile"
Ounce. "A teacher spent long
time in making one of his boys under.
stand very simple matter; and then,
to relieve his mind, said: 'Ifit wasn't
for me, you would be the biggest Ounce
In town"
Wouldn't Be Dictated To. Wool
81 saw postal card the other day,
dropped in the Office by a woman the
front was written full, with only the
address on the back" Van Pelt--
"There is line on the front of the
card which forbids that" Wool
"That was the only way could ac-
count for it. Puck.
AN EDglishman at a hotel in New
York asked if there were any oysters
in the hotel. 20 yes,' was the answer.
"Step right into the restaurant. We
don't keep them in the office" 81
think you misunderstood me, said Mr..
John Bull. ''You know / meant a
'oister, don't you know, lift, hele-
vator may be you call it in this coun-
try
Little Edith had the habit of eat-
ing out the soft part Of her bread and
tuclSing the crust under the edge of
plate. Her mother had frequently re-
proved Edith for this reprehensible
practice, but it appeared to have no
lasting effect The other evening
Edith was detected at her old trick.
Said her mother: "Edith, how often
have told you about leaving your
crusts? There may come day when
you'll be glad to eat them "Yes,
mamma" replied Edith, with de.
mure, whimsical countcnance; "thats
what I'm saving 'em for. Christian
Register.
Brought to Terms. .-Pinchcash lex.
citedly)--"Nhat do you mean by pub.
fishing that obituarA notice of me? l
amt dead, not by a long ways" The
editor (calmlyl-"Well. well! 1t does
look that way. doesn't it? You see,
sent you more than twenty letters ask
ing you 10 come in and pay some
thing on the fourteen years subscrip-
tion you owe. ! didn't get any answer
or see anything Of you, and thought
sure you must be dead. S'pose you set.
tie, and I'll print retraction free OF
charge Thanks; that's just the right
chsnge. Come in again Eiresida
&c upanion
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

In length at each side by the addition
of smooth board top, which was Sc
curely nailed to position; this was COW
cred with tightly-drawn cream-white
rubber cloth, which was turned under
the edges and tackled around on the un-
der side.
Into the under side Of the shelf, close
to each table leg, was turned strong
screw-almost, but not quite, through
to the upper surface of the board SO
that the heads projected like four legs,
each nearly an inch long. These little
legs dropped through and fitted closely
into the eyes of strong screw-eyes
which were turned into and projected
from the inner side of each table leg.
Being held in position in this way, at
four points, the shelf was as secure as
need be, and it almost doubled the use
fulness of the table.
A square, round or oblong shelf may
be adjusted to any four-legged stand
or table in this way. They make con-
venient sewing or reading tables or
commodes.
At the end of the table, close to the
pillow, row of roomy pockets were
suspended by cords or ribbons from lit
tie brass screw-eyes, and, to keep them
from swinging out of place, each lower
corner was secured to similar screw
eye inside the table leg.
Standing close by the side of the ed
every part Of the tabletop, shelf,
drawer and poclzets-soon became in
dispensable. Water, medicine, fruit,
bell, handkerchief, napkin, fan, watch
or book, any or all, could be safely
within reach. The rubber cloth, i'm
pervious to water, could be wiped off
and made fresh and sweet, no matter
what might have been spilled upon it,
and the pocket Innings, like rubber
cloth bags, could be turned out and
cleaned at any time.
When the table was pronounced q
success and fixture it was made more
attractive and still more convenient by
the addition of back boards to the top
and shelf-see dotted lines-which,
like the rest of the woodwork, was
then given two coats of prettily-tinted
enamel paint, the brass drawer-pull
was polished and tiny ornamental
brass hooks were placed wherever they
were needed for the suspension or safe
keeping of any little article; wash silk
or linen snarfs vara drapal over the
back boards, their fringed ends falling
gracefully at the sides, and the result
was piece of furniture which was as
dainty and neat to look at as it was
convenient to use, which is saying q
great deal for its appearance.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
TITO Ago of Women.

The wish to conceal her age is so
popularity supposed to be second nature
to every woman that it has come to be
accepted almost rs one of her preroga-
tives. Even on the witness stand legal
inquiry and Judgment are very lenicnt
on this point here Ia America. Over
In Australia, however, it seems, it is a
serious ofRcnsc, and recently mar
riage was declared void because the
husband proved that his wife had de-
ccived him as to her age, claiming to
be fifteen years younger than she really
was. In this connection the colebra-
ton the other day of the ninety-ninth
birthday of still vigorous woman is
worth mentioning as bringing together
a company of the eek who strovc each
to be older, not younger, than the
other, those who had touched the
ninety mark announcing the fact with
pride that quite silenced the in
mature matrons OF scventy-eight and
cighty-fvc.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
THE SIN OF FRETrlNa.



the subject.
There is one sin which it seems to
me is everywhere, and by everybody Is
underestimate and quite too much
overlooked in valuations Of character.
1t is the sin of frotting. 1t is as COM
mon as mir, MS speech--so common that
unless 1t rises above its usual monotone
we do not even observe it. Watch any
ordinary coming together Of people and
we see how many minutes twill be
before somebody frets-that is, makes
more or less complaining statement of
something or other, which most prob
ably everyone in the room or the car
or on the street corner knew before,
and which most probably nobody can
help. Why say anything about it? 1t
Is cold, It is hot, it is wet, it is dry,
somebody has broken an appointment,
ill-coolxcd meal; stupidity or bad
faith somewhere has resulted in dis
comfort There are plenty of things
to fret about. 1t is simply astonish-
ing how much annoyance and discom-
fort may be found in the course OF
every days living. even at tho
simplest, If one only keeps sharp eye
out on that side of things. Even Holy
Write says we are born to trouble as
sparks fly upward. But even to tho
sparks flying upward, in the blaclSest
of smoke, there is blue sky above,
and the less time they waste on the
road the sooner they will reach it.
Fretting is all timo wasted on the
road.-IIelen Hunt,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
THE OLD RURAL CHRISTMAS.
Things wcrc Different In tho Old Days
Yet Children Werc Very Merry.

Thing1 Vcrc Diifcrcnt In tho Ola Days
Yet Children Werc Very Merry.
How many Of the young people know
that some forty years ago nine-tenths
of the children in America had to enjoy
Christmas with only such sums as they
had saved MP for months, often penny
at time? Yet so it was. Not one
father in ten thought of giving O boy
"Christmas money! the big family din
ner and such fun rs cost nothing was
enough.
Indeed, save for candy and fieeeracls-
crs, there was little to spend money for.
"Robinson Crusoe" and "parley's
Tales" were almost the only story
books, though the people had some old
standbys on their shelves, and the "Old
English Reader was, like other poor,
always with them There were "Moral
Lessons" few, and tracts enough; but
no gorgeously lcttercd volumes of child
ish song, no fairy stories shining in
covers of blue, green and gold.
The story that artists for the earliest
juvenile books had to label their pic
lures This is horse" This is a
cow" etc, is no doubt an exaggera-
ton, but the toys really needed it.
Many little girl made q doll by dress
ing up crook-ncc1ed squash. Rag
babies' were the rule. A doll such rs
any child Of parents above the grade of
paupers may now have for Christmas
would then have excited the amaze
ment of the ncighborhood, and doll
that would open and shut its eyes
well, language is lacking to set forth
the Juror such wonderful creation
would have excited.
1t is an actual fact that the purchase
of such doll by order from Cincinnati
at o cost of two dollars-was made
matter of church discussion in one
town as late as 1913. "Thc neigh bors"
finally decided it was all right, as the
mans little girl was an invalid and
needed amusement She certainly got
it, If company was any amusement, for
every child for miles around was crazy
to sec that doll. AS for paying ten
dollars for q doll, the people would
have asked the court to name a
guardian for the man who did it as
one unfit to manage his own affairs.
| Ten dollars would buy an acre of good
timbered land in half Of the country.
| Wood carving was an envied accom-
plishment in those days. The SHRED
hand who had some skill with q
jaclSknife had crowd of children after
him on all possible occasions; the
father who could carve q human-lools-
| ing figure ont Of walnut bark was a
hero to his family.-N. Y. Mail and Ex-
presS
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
left It, blazing wildly up towards .he

left it, blazing wildly up towards the
black and stormy sky.
It was late IN the afternoon before
the foraging party had reached the
little settlement, several miles away,
and after getting well warmed and
rested they had started out on their re-
turn, carrying plentiful supplies for
their fasting comrades on tho snow
bound train. But in the carly twi-
light they had missed their way, and
after hours Of aimless wandering
through the pathloss snow, chilled and
overcome with drowsiness, they had
thrown themselves down to sleep, even
though they knew that TO sleep then
might mean to perish. They never
dreamed that they had almost reached
their goal, round which they had been
circling for SO long.
Suddenly, through his half-closed
eyes. one Of their number saw light
flash out in the distance, and, half
dreaming, he fancicd it q star. At
that moment he was child again in
his fathers house, and it was Christ
mas Eve. His mother bent over the
bedside and tucked the blanket close
around her boy, and .! how warm it
seemed Her goodnight kiss was
pressed upon his brow, and as she left
the room she drew the curtain back so
he could see the sky, whence ono
bright star shone down upon him
through the silent night ''nis star in
the east, perhaps, and as he remern-
bercd the sweet old story the star
grew brighter still and seemed to
beckon him, like Heavenly guide.
Then the dream faded away and con-
sciousness came struggling back
through the bewildering numbncss
which nearly mastered him, but still
the star CLEANED on.
star d light, q beacon fire. a refuge
close at handl With difficulty he
aroused his sleeping comrades, and
they raised their shout for help. e .s
The ,i', Wind caught u,iazti1e soui.s and
carried it across the great white sheet
of snow to ears thatwere strained with
listening. Then came shrill answering
cries of encouragement, and brave men
came plungiag onward through the
drifts in haste to find and aid in bring
ing in the wearicd and half-frozen lit
tie band.
Happy tears were glistening in Mrs.
Van Aliens eyes that night as she lay
on her improviscd bed OF cushions un-
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

given to everyone upon the train, and
no one, young or old was forgotten.
Mrs. Van Allen had found something
In her seemingly inexhaustible treas
urc box that was appropriate for eacl..
Even the conductor was presented with
a handsome poclsetknife; and the
brakeman who had so gallantly
plunged through the deepest drifts to
cut down the Christmas tree had nep-
warm mufflcr wound about his neck ~
her own hands.
If they had been Mrs. Van ALIENS
chosen guests in her own bone, the
evening could not have passed more
merrily. And for the time no one gavo
his or her personal discomfort or dis
appointment even passing thought.
When the lights on the tree had at
last burned out and the sleepy chill
dren were about to be tucked into their
improvised beds, Mrs. Van Allicn sat
resting upon her now empty Christmas
chest, with her eyes fixed drcamily upon
the dismantled tree. Turning at last,
she bcclroncd the conductor to her side.
| Something has been worrying me-"
she said, in her rapid way. Tho
foraging party has not returned, and
cannot rid myself Of the dreadful idea
| that those poor men may be lost and
! yandering about, half frozen, in the
snow"
"More likely they have found com
Portable quarters in some farmhouse
! for the night, and carly IN the morning
! they will turn UP, bringing supplies
for our breakfast" was the rcassurina
answer.
Perhaps So" she assented, doubt
| fully. "But still, there is the other
chance, and feel that something
J ought to be done Maybe it's only q
4 woman's foolish fancy, but won't you
do mo this favor? Get that obliging
brakeman to help carry out this tree
\ which has served its purpose here, and
somewhere--at q safe distance from
the train-set it on fire. There's just
chance it may prove beacon light
and anyway, I'd feel SO much better tc
see it done"
! Not any of the men would have dc
nied this little woman anything thai
she might ask. no matter how absurt
the request might appear TO them. &
the dismanted tree was carried ont
and dragged far up on the top OF the
drift. and there they touched il off and
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

not pleasant prospect to be obliged
70 spend Christmas Eve and Christmas
day cold and hungry in a snow-drift
in deserted part Of the country.
The afternoon wore slowly on. There
was no communication with the ont
side world, for tho storm had beaten
down the telegraph wires, and the for
aging party which had started out
some hours before had not returned.
Mrs. Van ALLEN, all this time, went
fitting from group to group, dropping
crumbs Of comfort on every side, and
endeayoring to replace complaints
with at least scmbiance of content
But the weary children were fretting
because they wouldn't be anywhere
for Christmas, and wouldn't have any
Christmas till Christmas was all over"
Then new and charming possibility
opened itself to Mrs Van Aliens busy
brains and presently she was seen in
earnest consultation with the conduc-
tor and tho porter, and after that they
all three vanished into another car.
The proceedings after this were 20
Delightfully."- mysterious to all of the
children, and they were SO taken up
with wondering what was going on,
that they quite forgot to fret One end
Of the car had been hastily curtained
off with shawls, but one chill, peep
ing, was sure he had seen the branch Of
o great green tree.
All of the mothers had now been
taken into Mrs Van Aliens conf
dencc, and several of the older girls
had been called upon to help, behind
tho shawls.
The excitement among the children
momcntarily increased, and just as the
darkness Of Christmas Eve was enfold-
ing the wcaried and supperless passen-
gers in the dimly-lighted train, down
came the screening shawls, and bril-
liantly-lighted Christmas tree burst on
their bcwildered gaze. Then such a
shout went up as filed tired little Mrs.
Van Alien with, keen delight.
OCousin Henrietta MARROW and your
eight childrenl You little dream how
the unexpected gifts SO carefully pre-.
pared for you are being scattered now!
Your coats and shawls will serve to
keep these little snow-bound children
warm through the 1ong-coming night;
and your toys and bright picture books
will while away the otherwise tedious
hours of their long cold Christmas day.
There had been general invitation
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

der the great-coat of the kind con-
ductor, FOR she knew that there was
not a soul on board that train, but had
called blessing down upon her and
her wondcrfn, Christmas tree.
With the first rays of the Christmas
sun, for the storm had ceased in the
night, and the morning sky spread its
clear dome of blue above the sparkling.
,whiteness of the snow, help came, VT
snow-plows and gangs of willing md
1t was unloollcd-for luck, and the
passengers eagerly congratulated one
another, for there were few among
them who would not be able now to
reach their homes in the course Of
Christmas day. But during the wake
full, wee small hours of the night, little
Mrs. Van Allen had suddenly changed
her plans. 1t was Of no use to go on to
Henrietta Marlow's now, she thought,
for her Christmas box was empty. And
SO she had decided to bid her fellow
travellers farewell ot the first stopping
place from which she could take train
that would carry her back to town.
There were tender good-bys cx-
changed when the parting carnc, with
many grateful words, and childrcn's
kisses and warm embraces. Mrs. Van
ALLEN stood smiling and waving back
to them from the little wayside station,
while the train slowly rolled on and
carried them one and all out of her
sight and life.
"What nico people they all were"
she said to herself, ''and such good,
happy children. bless them. Well, the
moro see of the world, the better
opinion have OF the people in it. l
didn't get to Henrietta Marlow's after
all, but declare never had a lovelier
Christmas Ia all my life. But how sur
priscd Caroline and John will be to SEQ
me back SO soon," she unused, ''and
when they know but they sha'n't
know a word about it, they'd only call
| il another Of Augusta's yagaries,' and
they'd have too many disagreeablc
things to say. know they think I'm
very queer but they are just as qnccr
themselves and dreadfully curious.
Now I'll Just give them something to
wonder over and puzzle themselves
about this time. and won't tell them
one single word
/ So Mrs. Van Allen suddenly reap
peared aud seemed in the best of spirits
in spite of her heavy cold But she
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
CHRISTMAS cRINkLEs.
Some Pertinent Rcm.rIss on seasonablo
Questions.

Some Pertinent IicmarIss on seasonablo
Questions.
1t requires no outlay of money to
wish people q merry Christmas
Don't give yourself to moro than one
girl as Christmas present
Don't spend in gifts the money you
owe your wash-woman.
Presents arc not numerous in the
ZONES where the parents carefully
teach their four-ycar-olds that Santa
Claus is o mythical parsonage.
Pricc-marks on Christmas gifts are
not to be regarded as emblems of YER
acity.
The woman who can circulate most
through the stores tho first three
weeks of December can approximate
more closely the value of the presents
her friends rcceive.-William ucnry
Siyiter. in Puck.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
To Note a Clever woman.

The cleverest woman in the matter
Of dress is the plain woman who con-
trivcs never to let you know she's
plain. To be successful in this respect
one must have natural good taste. It's
no use to put ones self entirely in the
hands of good drcssmalSer. Dress
makers need directing. They can't be
expected to know customers
weak or strong points as well as she
should know them herself. All women,
except those with hopelessly bad fig
ures and no throats, pay for dressing.
A gown is usually becoming if it is the
same color as the wcarcr's eyes. A
bright bandeau under the brin of a
hat is apt to have an improving effect.
Good taste Is thing to be thankful
for. Those who possess ltare inclined
to value 1t too lightly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
YOUR WIFE AT CHRISTMAS.

She finds all business matters new,
TO her finance Is STRANGER
a hundred dollar bill or two
She calls littlc change.
Each day the dinner Is on time.
No word she answers back
She shows that she can act sublime
10 get a sealslKin sacquc.
( Although her tastc you'd not deny,
You must admit It mars
The seasons Joy TO have her buy
You neckiics and cigars
Shc makes you drink Of sorrows cup
10 gain the kids applause;
For now she likes to rig you up
TO look like Santa Claus.
Though ready for the yearly strike,
1t hits you rather funny;
She wants to know flrst what you'd like
Then asks you for tho money.
James J. OConnell, in Judge
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
A PRETTY HEART FRAME.

tural shades Of forget-mc-nots, with
delicate foliage in keeping with the
flowers. The leaves are also cut out
around the edge, leaving the space
within for the photograph or picture.
A back, the same shape, is made from
pasteboard and fastened to the frame
with Royal glue. Tho blue ribbon
hang-by and some faint suspicion of
gliding about the center of the flowers
and the entire edge of the frame only
add to its decorative charms. Square
frames of the same paper, with design
of wild roses and leaves, are also v.ry
becoming to pretty faces within.--N.
Y. uernld.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

The height Of novelty has been
reached in shirt studs. They nrc
devils heads, small and black. There
are five Of them connected by fine
gold chain. Imagine the sensation
they create when seen ona deIicately'
tinted shirt front
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21
DAINTY PICTURE FRAME.
Easily Made by an Amateur Artist from
Water Color Paper.

Water Color Paper.
Room belongings are often spoiled
by one tone not quite in harmony, and
dainty pen and pencil or delicate water
color drawings arc at times cruelty
treated by the framing, which, in real
ity, should be the crowning touch.
A pretty frame is easily made by an
amateur artist out Of water color pa
per.
1t is first cut out heart shape, then
painted, as in the illustration, in ma
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

~ thought it better to get you some
thing useful" said Mr.. Dossill to his
wife, $50 have brought you couple
of good brooms for your Christmas
present"
THAT was very thoughtful Of you,
my dear" replied Mrs. Dossill. II
share your ideas, and have bought you
a good strong coal scuttlc for you to
carry up fuel from the cellar in. y"
Judge.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1893-12-21

--Itis the girl who says she doesn't
believe IL accerting presents from
young mon who Is most likely to be
popular this month. Washington Star.