Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1893-10-19
We Wurderers my Wife
and

and |.
The pity OF it had weighed upon my
wife's spirits during the evening after
she told me of the occurrence at and be-
fore dinner time, but it was in the dark
that she began to Sob and said with a
shuttle, 'Oh, suppose suppose" Sup
pose, indeed, my DEAR" l said, for | fol
lowed her thought easily, and, | con
fess. it appealed to me, but if you
choose to call the fiat a nest, [ have not
stolen the furniture for it, and, more
over, animals of Il lower organization
than the human kind have not the same
capacity for suffering, and"
"Oh, hush" said my wife. suppose
some one would talk that way about us,
and land it might happen to us not in
that way | know, of course, I'm not a
fool, my dear.
This last was in answer to Il frivolous
attempt on my part to point out the alb
surdity of the parallel which her mind
was so determinedly following.
Then she was silent, but in the dark
seemed, being sympathetically affected,
to be conscious of Il sense of deSOlatiOn
which we had wrought, and [ would
have welcomed the presence of Il sue
cession of frlrtive little noises in the
night which only Il week before | had
called a great nuisance.
In the morning / saw that the three
mutilatcd velvet balls had been cut
from the bottom of the pOrtiere. My
wife gave me one to match at the up
holsterer's. Il shall keep the other
two" she said, ito remind me never
to be cruel to anything for oh, it MN
might happen to us. You kn-kn-llnOW
course"
SO | left her, and on my way down
town stopped ut the doctors to ask him
whether he thought it would be adyis-
able for us to take another fiat to efface
the impression which might have so
distinct a bearing on future events.
When | told him what the impression
was he laughed hilariously, and said
that | would have to hire row of
apartment houses if little things like
that were to drive us out of our quart
erS Then he fell to talking of how
the diffusion of smattering knowledge
among the laity really brought more
harm than the deepest ignorance.
Nevertheless, | can fully appreciate
my wife's feeling, and would like to
hear again the fllritve little noises in
the night
The thing came about through those
mutilated velvet balls at the bottom
of the portiere attached to the fringe.
We wondered, at first. being young
hoUsekeeperS, what caused it, and
failed to associate it with the furtive
little noises, the squealIing and the pat
tering. which we heard in the might and
the source of which, of course, we
knew,
Many morning after breakfast had
my wife pumped down on her knees
in the ribbOned morning gown, and
making very pretty picture with her
dark head in the red damaSll of the
portiere, had examined he mutilated
little velvet balls with MI. the gravity
of the first detective on He scene Of a
murder.
Finally a light broke il upon her on
one of these inspections. She stood up
as one convinced, pushed the fluffy
hair back that had escaped from her
pompadour, for l would not let her
wear bang, and said: ITS mice. You
must get a trap"
Often have we thought since of the
sorrow we would have ayerted by sim
ply tucking up the portiere. But this
did not occur to us at the time, and ]
got the trap. It was one of those
round, wooden affairs, whose mechan,
ism now appears to us a refinement OF
cruelty, since it grasps the mouse by
the throat instead of raging hun as q
rat trap does. We baited it first with
Gorgonzola cheese, though my wife
doubted the efficacy of this, for she
said they were American mice. L tod
her that she need not worry about that
as very little foreign cheese was made
out of the country. Nevertheless, the
Gorgonzola did not stop the furtiyt
little noises nor the nibbling at tht
velvet balls, and so [ acknowledged The
superior wisdom of my wife and bough
a pound of yellow cheese. which is KEEP
behind circular wire MEETINGS in grocer!
stores and cut in slabs by men in theil
shirt sleeves.
That night the furtive noises stopped
suddenly, and were instantly succeeded
by clicking sound of the mechanism
in operation. We recognized it, as W.
had snapped it frequently in batting it
In fact, it had pinched my wife's fingers
which are very long and white. Tha
noise now in my wife'S memor,
sounds, | am sure, at least as loud a
the falling of a gallows trap, and tn
sound is as sinister. Then it simpl.
announced the end of annoyance
lighted the gas and picked UP the trap