The Portland daily press., 1893-06-30
THE BRUTE AND THE HAT.
Nature Of,the Man Who Is Constantly Conn
planning of Woman's Meadgear.

planning of Woman's Headgear.
There is something extremely fati-
guing in all this talk about the big hats
at the theater. From every point come
shafts of ridicule and even abuse to the
woman who wears to the theater bon
net larger than saucepan. Those who
make all this hubbub are the very ones
who have the least right to, and I'll
prove it.
It is generally man-plain, horrid,
Grabbed nan-who finds SO much fault
with our hats. Now, I don't mind tell
ing you that it is this same man who does
more to spoil a lady's evening at the the
alter than all the hats in Christendom.
You know him as well as do, for you
meet him at every theater. He seems to
have nothing in the world to do but to
go to playhouses and cause people to
wish they had never been born.
This man, whom we all know, never
gets to the theater until the play has be-
gun. And, what is more astonishing
and even more aggravating, he always
selects seat midway between two aisles
and in the most crowded section of the
house.
Down the aisle he-this horrid man
tramps, every step drowning at least
two lines of the dialogue, At his row
he stops and gloats over his victims as
he counts how many there are. Adjust
ing his overcoat SO that it will hit every
hat in the line and dishevel every bang
under those hats, he begins his mad
plunge for his seat. His cane he carries
SO that it will catch every thread Of lace
or every ornament, while he so handles
his feet as to take an inch of patent
leather off every shoe.
Gained his seat and he casts his eve
along the wreck he has wrought, looks
into the face of every auditor in the
house, bangs up his chair, then down
again, throws his overcoat over it so
that it will hit the victim behind him,
and down he planks himself with a grunt
of sublime satisfaction at having for
once in his life made his presence felt by
scores.
This is the individual who usually
makes remarks about big hats in thea
tiers.
And am going to tell you how this
ubiquitous acquaintance Of ours was
most beautifully ''sat on" the other even
ing.
1t was at down town theater. The
prettiest, daintiest, most exquisitely
dressed little girl came in. Her hat was
perfect dream, though I'll admit it was
rather large, yet it was SO bewitchingly
becoming that only brute could have
breathed word against it. The girl
had hardly seated herself and arranged
rebellious lock Of hair that persisted
in looking into her eyes, when this hor-
rid brute Of man Of whom have been
speaking gave vent to the following piece
of pure, unadulterated brutishness:
"Oh, Lord! How am expected to see
through that hatw
He rather flattered himself, I think, il
he imagined the girl had any expecta-
tions in regard to him when she put the
hat on. However, dubious look passed
over her face, she hesitated moment,
then raised her hands, unpinned her hat
and took it off with deep sigh that
should have gone straight to that mans
heart. She then turned around and
with a charming smile, which went to
show that woman never does anything
by halves, she asked:
sis that better nowY'
And this horrid man, this foe to hats,
bangs, laces and ornaments, this tram
pier on rights and patent leather shoes,
had the boldness to say that he believed
he would go out to see friend.
The girl? Oh, she held her hat through
out the performance.--Blanche Hastings
in San Francisco Examiner.