Fairhaven herald. [volume] (Fairhaven, Wash.) 1890-????, 1893-04-18
FUN FOR CITY YOUTHS
SINGULAR IDEAS OF SPORT THAT is
LAUGH PROVOKING.

sentisl TO a Full Appreciation OF the
Richness of This Fun.
Hulloa, everybody, did you ever have any
tun' Now don't all speak at once. Per.
haps you don't know MS much about fun as
you think you do. II may be that you have
been so restricted by your environments
that you have never seen or had the real
crude article, and perhaps it will be new
suggestion to you when tell you that fun
is one of those many good things which de
preciates and is apt to lose it's germ by be
ing superrv'iaed
There Is no end Of fun in this world. The
city Of New York is fairly efeTvescent with
IL. II turks unseen in every alleyway wait
ing to tickle You between the ribs and send
YOU of into commissions The most sedate
and sterile streets abound in latent fun if
you only possess a sufficient sense of humor
to find it out and overcome its inertia.
There are "a few essentials, however, which
. it is absolutely necessary that you should
possess before you can explore the ultimate
recesses where fun seeks seclusion.
You must Doe years old. You must be
poor. You must be "a. .ycd You must live
In the vicinagc of Mulberry Bayard and
Baxter streets. OF course you can have
some fun if you are years old-or 9. But
should advise You to be as near S as pos
sible, because at that age your sense of
humor is broad, unabridged and pure. You
must be poor in order that you may appre-
ciate fun in its crude STATE; ragged, because
that gives you ian unity from injuring
your clotheS-au abandon. so to speak. You
must live in Poverty Flat" because there
you will have the greatest scope and the
most fertile field ia which to display your
ingenuity. Being thus armed and equipped,
by both nature and fortune, you will go
forth in quest Of fun
What is funy The answer may be summed
up in the one word, "Aggrayation." Per
haps you won't find the word given as a
synonym in Che dictionary, but that is sim
ply because Noah Webster didn't have his
fun in that way There is, to be sure, a
time honorcd hut most dclusiye aphorism
TO the effect that "to be good is to be hap
py." You and viii readily discard such
sophistry We would remark that Ito be
sggrayating is Ia he happy For example,
The barber NJ. Raven, has n nice, clean
window pane. lie washes il every morn
ing In order that the passersby may look in
and see how coy and inviting his estab.
lishment is and how his customers stretch
out at their ease in his big, comfortable
chair. This is a splendid opportunity for
fun. You 20 along and breathe on his win
dow pane BY pre- sing your face against
the pane till your nose Is quite fiat and
breathing quick and hard you can manage
to steam over quite n large surface in a
short time
Then, when the barber shakes his fist at
you and makes a prrtence.of leaving his
customer, half lathcrcd, 10 run after You,
you can indulge in a species Of 5-hnger ex-
ercises, which il very irritatng-that is,
you elevate your hand to the level Of your
nose, extend your tagmb until it touches
the tip Of thar organ CD1 wiggle waggle
your fingers Tbs las been called CON
denscd irony and VIII surely cause the
barber great annoyance, while at the same
time, NJ your susceptible age, rendering
you lots Of pure, ur1dulterated fun. II You
wish 10 fur-h,r indulge your sense of hui
NOR AZ the expense of the barber, you can
write YOUR name wien "A flourish on the
pane where You have steamed it,
You are r3s-,ed, 1nd thcuatuul imprints
which your fee. leave In the newly fallen
snow show that You are barefooted. Very
good Can't boy EUgh with his boots
of, / would Ike TO know Did ever n mag
absorb any humorous pTupeusties from
his shoes and stockings You and | have
heard Of those people who can't tell Joke
from side oi sole heather, aud they are
the misMthroq,s who look upon bare
footed childhood as one lacking in fun and
devoid of happiness
Another source OF .uu il this: You get an
old tin pail til % with lime aud pour in
sufficient water TO set fire to the lime.
Then You fasten piece OF wire to your
pail and whirl lt around Your head furi-
ously. This will not only brighten horses
70 the verge of madness, but is a Legitimate
source OF ian per so.
Again, you procure am old stocking-any
color will doth, leagth is the important
factor. The foot oi tiis you MI with flour
snd, by thc way, as the victim of this little
joke rarely, if ev,r gets the right porspeo-
tive in loohiug as It from his standpoint,
sou would better have partner in your
enterprise, OF better st,ll, four or five But,
hal hal sec you catch my idea at once
Yes, hcugin lies your opportunity - get
even with the Toy who wears better clothes
than you do, Nou -four bag" him, 40 to
speak. Your exquisite sense of humor will
attract you toward some boy whose clothes
are dark-black preferred. This Is, more
over, an instructive maneuver. You are
excmplifyiug for the time being, in the act
Of swinging your loGdcd stocking. the OPP
erations Of the cCutripeiM and centrifugal
forces, and you uncousciously absorb a Ger
tain amount of practical knowledge there
by, much as the nursery babes do who
construct houses out of blocks labeled
RATS" etc, respectively.
Another rare bit Of legitimate aud highly
communicable sport IS this: You can walk
along very softly behind some nervous old
gentleman, till you SEE az = distance ahead
OF you one 81 Your Daniel boon eompan-
ions Then yOu rash forward like a ma
MAC and at The same instant let ont veil
that will frceze tie blood in has veins--to
say nothing OF his arteries aud heart You
arr merely calling to your playmate, and
how can any man in his right mind take
ofense at you Tor that
Above all tAiLSs, be cautious. Avoid
getting into trouble Alasl you are com
pelled TO hear in sliud that nos every per
son who has advanced somewhat beyond
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