Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1893-04-27


Loftus-What sort of a dog is thai
you haye-a pointer? Spotly-No, 8
disappointer.-1rat
"The preacher got in some good ticks
this morning, didn't hep" asked Riggs.
yes; and prolix. too" replied Griss.
Pick.
The latest in bric-a-brac are pretty
thisgs made of coal, but the prettiesi
things made of coal are dividends
L0weH Courier.
A new theatrical spectacle is to have
an Electric ballet" That sounds as if
it might be a pretty shocking show
Philadelphia Record.
What would you DO if you found
yourself in :. deadlock? Why, get
out of it with a skeleton key of
course."-FaRny Folks.
Visitor-What have you cot an cleo
trio befl here in the kitchen for? Cook
Silly girl! Why, it's to call my
missus when want her.-LUstige Btat-
ter.
When the war broke out did you
take the iield?" 20 yes. several OF
them. / staid at home and ran a
mortgage loan office. "-Detroit Iri-
bHRe.
No table of liquid eas in the
books states the fact, bat a person il
out of a pint of whisky .-PhiiGdeLphia
Times.
Sbe--This is such a stormy season to
| cross the Atlantic. Was your voyage
remarkable in any way? He-Well.
| should say SO. / held our aces twice.
Vogue.
"Did you ever get back the umbrella
that you lent Brasher?" yes" "How?"
Il borrowed it again" From Brasil
erg" No; from the man he lent it
to- Washington Star.
When a doctor starts about seeing
whether a modern pr:ze-fighter is in
condition n of the first things he
does is to bid him let him see his
tongue.-PailadelpAia Times.
Justly Irate Party-Robert, you are
a naughty boy. You want a jolly
good hiding, Robert-Pardou me, ia
Their. may need chastisement, but |
do not Uant it.-LoRdon Judy.
"Sav, Ebnezab, what's dat chune de
man dat moved mex door ter you sings
ebery time he goes ter his wood pile?"
Il don't know. but | reckon it mus
be de los cord. m- Washington Star.
Miss Elderby-You have never met
my elder sister, hare YOU? Cieverton
Why no, Miss Elderly. | didn't
suppose it was possible that YOU had
an elder sister. -Dstr0t Free Press.
"Ingersoll says that Homer didn't
believe in religion" Nonsense! We
have reason to believe he went to
church anyway" ~What is it?"
Didn't he sometimes nod?"-Judge.
Tommy Figg-Sister's beau kicked
my dog yesterday, but / got even with
him, you bet. johnny Briggs-How?
Tommy Figg-l mixed quinine with
her face powder Indianapolis Senti-
net.
She-I have a telegram for you.
That wealthy uncle of yours is dying.
He-Hip. hip, hurrah. She-Gracious!
Why do you hurrah? He-I want TO
cheer him in his last hours.-Brookiya
Lye.
At a country ball-@My dear, sir.
you have just stepped on my partners
foot. | demand satisfaction" "Oh
certainly. Gonder sits my wife; "a
and step on hef foot."-Peters6arg
Skyd Gageta.
A duel between the treasury of a
county and the Treasurer generally
ends in the discontinue of the former.
aud it ~retires from the unequal field
with q severe wound in the. chest
Texas SJtiags.
"Was your Waterman well recon-
mended?" 20. not directly. used
to see him in church, and as he staid
awake all through DR.. Sonora's ser
mon | concluded he was the mar |
wanted."-Teras Siftings.
Jake Here's a advertisement in tn
paper for that dog you found. The
man who owns him offers a reward.
Jim-How dye know it's a maui?
Jake-The paper says, No questions
asked.-N. Y. Weekly.
"To think that my Ethel should have
spoken so impertinently to papa at
dinner. She never hears mamma
talk that way TO him" Ethel (stout-
ly)-"WeIl. but you choosed him aud /
didn't. TIT BIS.
Il cannot recommend that feather
buster for service" said an attendant
in a Market street store ~but all the
ladies are buying that kind because it
bears such a strong resemblance 10
Paderewski's head.-Phiiadeiphta Rec
ord.
John, this is a bad report You bring
me from school," john know ia
Their, but you know you said if | would
bring you home a tirst-class report
you would give me a shilling. and |
wanted to save you that expense
Forget-Me-Not
Husband (irritably)-Can't you re-
member where / said | left my glasses
at the breakfast table this morning?
Wife-Tm sorry. dear. | really can't.
Husband (peevishly)-That just shows
the forgetfulness OF you Women
Harvard Lampoon.
A physician found one of his pa
tients sitting in the bath aud swal-