Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1893-01-21

6HfAA SMA evening" WHht uru ne
w !: J ! !: !"
~y. ~ mean2 A man can be
Iva ENNMN on his fourth or fifth
NVIkAEs,NAgM decade Of life, and be
WW forty or fifty years old,
or he can be on his
~ fourth or fifth matri-
monial venture, and in that case death or the
divorce court has been kind to him above the
general run Of men. He may, IL he is a reck-
less man, be on his fourth or fifth essay at a
tumber of intoxicant, and if that is the state Of
affairs he is in danger Of talking too much. or,
perhaps, of not being able to talk at ALL But
the man addressed understood the remark per-
fectly. for he replied at once:
my dear fellow, am on nv twentieth"
VI course, II he was on his twentieth decade
he would be two hundred years DID, and il was
clear that he was not more than forty. To be
on one twentieth venture in matrimony would
be to beat Blue Beard or Henry Will No man
could or would accomplish the feat of getting
married once a year for twenty wears; and if a
man was on his twentieth drink he would be so
drunk that he would not be able to answer
questions.
"You say you are on your twentieth2" said
the first speaker. "You really are doing we'll
And what has become Of the old ones?"
CURIOUS CALCULATION.
This was getting little palmer. 1t began to
look as though clothes we're being discussed
But man of forty has worn at least 160 pairs
of shoes in his life and about IT'S pairs of trou-
sers and about 480 shirts and about l. 500 collars
and about 5000 cuffs He has used up il he is
gifted with the carefulness of the average man,
l,O4o collar buttons which allows him the lux
ury or losing one week for twenty years. He
has gone through about 1000 stockings and
between rs and 100 hats. He has DESTROYED
about $50 cravats and about 400 pieces of
underwear. His total destructiveness in forty
years has thus amounted to at least s,295
pieces. Allow his shoes to have averaged 81
pair. his trousers So, his shirts 81 25-but
the calculation is getting too complicated and
statistical. 1t is safe to say at a rough guess
that his clothing has cost at least 81 900. Ii he
had never worn clothes and the money spent on
them had been saved he would be worth a very
| respectable little fortune.
IT WAS DRESS SUIT.
Now, glance at the above figures will con-
vince any one that no ordinary article of man 8
| apparel was alluded to when the swell said he
was on his twentieth. The truth came out at
length. These two men OF fashionable society
we're simply talking of their dress suits, and
they were using them thus in figurative sense
to express the number of years that they had
been ''in society" The man who was on his
twentieth dress suit had begun early in life,
and had given himself no rest, for he must have
worn out one dress suit a year IN his twenty
years career, and to do that he must have
worn it night afler night.
Let the solid domestic man whose entertain
ments are not numerous and seldom of the
grand order which are denominated .'dress-
suit affairs" reflect upon the fact that there
are some men in the world who, by the time
they have reached middle life, have spent
u, 600 in the purchase of swallow-tail coats,
and there are yet Others who have spent great
deal more than that upon this garment. The
sum would be sufficient to make the first pay
ment on a house and lot or would carry a boy
through two years Of college course. 1t
would take man to Europe and give him the
benefit of several months Of interesting travel
1t would furnish a house very comfortably or
it would be great boon to an orphan asylum
There are really grea. many things that one
could do with 81, GOO beside spending the money
for dress SUITS
THE DOMESTIC MANS ONE SUIT.
Now, the solid domestic man probably has
one old dress suit that he got married in. and
perhaps once or twice year. upon some gala
occasion of extra solemnity he puts on this old
suit. The odor Of responsibility clings to it. as
well as the odor of the camphor in which it has
been preserved. He is not comfortable in it,
and it must be confessed that he never was
comfortable in it. He has a sort of dread of it,
and well he may have, for it is associated in his
mind with awkward feelings When he wore it
the first time. at his wedding. he felt decidedly
awkward, as groom invariably docs, and since
then his figure has enlarged. perhaps and the
dress suit has remained OF the same size.
The cut is a little antiquated, but that
does not matter. as all dress suits
resemble each other, and the garment
that was the fashion forty years ago would pass
muster even at the present day. Nevertheless,
the dress suit expresses an idea to the domestic
man, just as it does to the fashionable man.
The former never sees it but what he thinks of
the day when he first wore it, ard the happi-
ness of his married life, it ia to be hoped makes
him forget in some degree the extreme torture
he endured when he stood up before the audi
ence and went through the marriage ceremony.
In this way, although he hates to wear the old
dress suit. he likes to know that it is still part
Of his belongings.
But to the fashionable man it expresses Jolly
times out of number. If it could talk it would
tell of dinner parties, dances and suppers out
when he gets in place where he can't wear q
dress suit.
IT SAVED ONE MANS REASON.
Here is a little story about this that came to
the writer from the lands where there used to
be buffalo and where there are now Blooms and
real estate agents-the great and boundless
west. He went away from Washington, where
he had been for many years one Of the leading
lights Of society. No party was complete with
out him, and conversely 1t may be said that he
never had a complete feeling without a party.
to in the west, and the parties there were few
and far between, and were Of a most primitive
order. The Washington man used to sit over
his fire in the evening and think of what was
going on in the gay capital. He had it all
mapped out in his mind, and he knew
just what evenings it was probable his
old friends had selected for their DIM
ners or their germans. He had til STAR
sent to him regularly and after supper he used
to pore over the society columns as he had
never done before. Sometimes, as he read the
notices and saw who had been at a certain ball,
he would be carried away by his imagination
and would think that he was there himself.
He would carry on an animated conversation
with young lady whom he used to love. He
would go into supper and partake of terrapin
and champagne. He would waltz and polka and
finally he would participate in the hilarious
Virginia reel before saying good night and 60
ing home. Then while in the middle of this
delicious dream he would look down and see
his feet in rough boots instead Of patent
leather shoes, his trousers of corduroy instead
of the elegant plain black, and thick
coarse coat instead Of the expanding
snowy shirt front. He had on no
dress suit. the party was all in his mind,
he was ont in the wild, woolly west where to
have worn dress suit would have been equiva-