Rock Island daily Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1886-1893, 1893-01-24
.~nE AVE aAcg MANS caEpuLlrr. :
The Broker Tells Two Good Stories to
Illustrate His Theories.


They wandered from subject to SUBJ
ject in listless way over their coffee
and cigars, as men often do when they
have enjoyed good dinner. until the
broker got on his favorite hobby-the
average mans credulitv. His compan-
ion, lawyer. disagreed with him, and
that at once started them on lively
argument. After few minutes OF
general discussion the broker said:
@Well, I'll give you an instance. It
is pretty good story. anyhow. and
perfectly true, almost incredible as it
seems. In the town where was born
there lives an old river captain named
Stewart. who is great practical joker.
The propriet tor of one of the two hotels
in the place is rather pompous and
conceited old man. Stewart walked
into the Office of the hotel one day, a
few years ago, and drawing out a one
dollar bank note asked the proprietor
if he could change an $11 bill. The
old fellow said yes and took the bill,
which, sure enough. had the number
eleven in the corners, and just glanc-
ing at it handed the amount in change
to Stewart. The joker had added an
other figure in ink to the Numbers on
the bill, and as the proprietor did not
like to acknowledge that he had never
seen an 81 bill before, he had only
glanced at It casually before putting
it into the drawer. Stewart walked
out of the hotel and told all the men
he met about the joke.
about fifteen minutes after Stewart
-, 81
to the proprietor:
"'Mr. Kennedy, l understand that
you have an 81 bill here; may l look
at it? / never saw one.'
Kennedy produced it, and the man
maryeled over it for several minutes.
Before he got through examining it
another mar walked in and asked to
see the bill, and then another and an
other. Finally Kennedy's curiosity
became excited, and he thought he
would see what the bill really looked
like. He saw at once how it had been
fixed, and his face was study. The
boys shouted with laughter, and the
old fellow had to acknowledge that
the drinks were on him, and he set
them up like man."
Hum, that was funny" commented
s sNSsYiy S:r.,. .,o,s.r ,n.,.no., ..,a
the broker; Stewart went to a picnic
one day with some men, and one of
them had on 3 brand new hat he had
just bought in the city. 1t was an al
most white derby, and it at once at
tracted Stewards attention.
"'Well, he said, going up to the
young man, you've got one of those
new hats, have you? Let's look at it,
THE fellow took it off with some
show of pride and handed it over for
inspection.
81 saw one of them hats the other
day in the city said Stewart to the
little group of men who had gathered
around him, and had half a mind to
get it, but as l was in a hurry, L didn't
stop. They are something entirely
new. They don't burn, you know.
I'd like to have that hat; whatll you
take for it?'
a. don't want to sell it, answered
the owner, glinning with pleasure at
being the object of so much attention.
4 didn't know it was fire proof, though.
Are YOU sure about it?'
"'Oh, yes, replied Stewart, conf
IDENTIFY. Sell it to me and I'll show
you
",No, if you're sure, I'll try it my
self and the young countryman
walked over to wood fire. followed
by the crowd of men who had been
gaping with wonder at the reported
qualities of the new hat.
"'How will | put it imp he asked
Stewart, who stood near by, with
look of intense interest on his face.
"'Oh, chuck it right in; it can't hurt
it" replied the joker.
$50 the innocent victim threw his
hat into the fire, which, of course,
made short work of it. The mans
face was conyulsed with rage and as
constituent, and his temper was not
improved when the crowd OF men
burst into roar. He looked around
for Stewart, but that gentleman had
discreetly disappeared.
go, come off Go and tell that to
the marines as your experience You
can't make me believe such fairy sto-
ries," said his auditor
Those stories are perfectly straight;
knew the men myself"
you did, hey? Well, they're pretty
good stories, anyway. Hang the dis
cussion; let's have something to
drink. IN Y Tribune.