Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1893-09-21
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SAYINGS AND DO.
lNGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and JOkelets that Are Supposed ia
Have Been Recently Born-Sayings and
Doings that Are Odd, Curious, and Laugh
able--The Weeks Humor.
Let Us All Laugh.


as BARTON rich?" well, only re-
latively so. He has a rich aunt
Puck.
THE epicure is masticator who
appreciates master caterer.-Bos.
ton Courier.
The average farmers boy leaves no
stone unturned except the grindstone.
Texas Siftings.
MARJoRIE-Jack is a very dashing
fellow. Madge-Yes. He swears
terribly-EXchapge
No TOWN looks as we'll from the
car window as it does in boom cir
cular. tchison Globe
THE girl who had falling out
with her friend will not try the ham
mock again. -Picayune.
"How PLEASANT it is to be tall"
pleasant? Yes, everybody looks up
to you. New York Press.
"TRAvERs says his best poems are
still unwritten." mo doubt That's
why they're the best. - Chicago
Record.
HORSE dealer-I always pick my
customer. Friend-Do you? | was
told that you skinned them. Brook
Ign Life.
"STRANGE, living so long here, that
/ haven't met you before" Not at
all. | don't owe you anything. -
Chicago Record.
CYNICAL editor-Ah, it is the way
| of the world. We never strew flow
ers on mans grave until after he is
dead. Texas Siftings.
IT'S terrible the way the CONVEX
saton is dragging. What shall
do?" He-You might get up game
of whist. Ocean.
SOMEONE has asked: "Where do
flies go in winter?" We don't know,
but we wish they would go there in
summer. Texas Siftings.
STALATE.-I wish ] could do some
thing to achieve nOtOriety Ethel
Knox-Why don't you try sudden
disappearance?-Harpers Bazaar.
NIAGARA is in the group Of the
ice king and several hackmen are re-
ported badly frozen. Retribution,
they name is Boreas!-Chicago Post
81 UNDERSTAND Jigson is financial
ly interested in the concern he is
with" "Yes, they owe him six
months salary. Westt1eld Union.
PAPA-"Do you say grace at the
seminary?" Product of Modern Edu
cation-"Certainly. never heard OF
more than one pronunciation. y
| Truth.
The papers are full If benevolent
but none of them include any hints
concerning the hand-organ. -Phila-
delphia Times.
DE singin' oh birds is sweet" re-
marked Uncle Eben, "but de cackle
oh or chAhin' on yer own hen roos'
has er heap mo- expression in it >
Washington Star.
PASSENGER (on slow train -"What
are we stopping for?" Conductor
Got hot box" Passenger-"Huh!
Some tramp must have built fire
under it. New York Weekly.
TRAMP-Give me your jewelry and
money. -Unprotected Female-Have
pity on me in my lonely state.
Tramp-Alone, are you? Give me a
chunk of ice.-Detroit Free Press.
MRS. HIGHERMAN-"Now, about
that man you sent over to me-is he
honest?" Mrs Fireman-"Well, /
should say. He has been tried twice
for stealing and has escaped both
times"
TENEYcK- "The Perks ha taken
their cook abroad with them this
year" Blueton-"Yes. She invited
them to stay m NTH at her mothers
summer residence in Connau ght. -
Bazaar.
MoTHER-"D you think his love
for you is unseltish?" Daughter
Perfectly. The other night he let
me sit so long on his knee that he
walked lame fer ten minutes New
York Weekly.
WITHERBY-"Y haven't seen my
new boy, have you? They say he
takes after his father" Plankington
If he takes the same thing his
father takes, I'm sorry for him, old
man Detroit Free Press.
SHE-You are the first one who
ever kissed me that way. He-You
mean you never before felt lovers
kiss. She-No, / mean that no one
before ever missed my mouth and hit
| nv nose three times out Of five. =
Exchange.
"YoUR hired man tells me he's
working like horse these days, said
Barrows to his neighbor. "He told
the truth He's running away all
the time, and whenever he sees a
piece of paper on the lawn he She's"
i-Harper's Bazaar.