The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1893-08-30
French COurtship.

The average American regards the French
idea of marriage with horror without eX-
actly knowing why. A young girl is edu-
Gated under the careful n, of her mother
or governess, who accompanies her to al!
her classes, and considers it as only mat
ter of course to sit patiently with needle
work or book during the music or singing
lesson. The girl is taught from her earliest
childhood that it is the destiny of woman
to become wife and mother.
When she is about years old, she makes
her appearance in society. The walls of a
French ballroom are always lined with
chairs. The mother and daughter take
their places side by side, and the two chairs
are theirs for the evening. When man re-
quests girl to dance, he writes his name
on her card and does not appear again I'M
til the dance begins. Then he puts his
"claque" Opera hat on the girls chair, with
her fan, and with a bow to the mother leads
her off. Sometimes during the whole dance
not word is exchanged between the two.
Such a thing as dividing" a waltz or sit
ting it through" while the music plays is
unheard of, though promenading is per-
missible. When the dance is finished the
girl is led back to her place, and with
THANK you, mademoiselle, " and THANK
you, monsieur" the couple part.
To the American girl the idea of thank
ing man for dancing with her is prepos-
ferrous, but her French sister is more philo-
sophical.
"Why shouldn't thank him." she asks
Has not the dance given me as much
pleasure as it has given him, and is it not
a compliment to be chosen from so many
girls? Then why not be polite?"
After season or two in society madame
decides that it is time her daughter should
be married At present it is the fashion
for wealthy people to spend the summer in
their own cottages by the seaside, and there
young people meet and are allowed a GER
tain degree of freedom, though always I'M
der the eye of a chaperon.
After the French girl is fairly well ac-
quainted with her future fiance, though
this is not always the case, some relative
of the young man is charged with the deli
cate commission of presenting his case to
the mother of the young lady. The educa-
ton, social position, disposition, health,
wealth and prospects of each are discussed
with the greatest frankness. Then, if the
two are not already acquainted, the girl is
taken to the theater and the men call on
her in the box or the two are invited to
dine at the house of common friend. If
either does not like the other, the matter Is
ended for it is very unusual thing for a
parent to force a child into marriage. IT,
however, the liking is reciprocal, other meet
ings take place, the two are allowed a few
moments of privacy, walk in the garden
or a conversation at one end of the room.
If the result is satisfactory the marriage is
decided on and takes place three months
afterward. The question of dot" money)
is q serious one.
1t is absurd to say that French women
are married only for their money. 1t is al
most an impossible for a man in ordinary
circumstances to marry poor girl. The
education of the average man is far more
complete in France than in America. Every
family tries to send the boys to school until
they are at least Is years old. Then comes
the military service, and a man begins bust
ness when he is about 81. If his family
are in moderate circumstances, it is proba-
| BILE that the son accepts government posi-
ton with a salary of $50 a month. At 80
years of age, if he is industrious, he may
make $40 month. How is it possible to
support a. family on so small sunni The
only solution is to marry girl with about
the same income. 1t is not necessary for
her to have a large capital if she has any
means of supporting herself. This also ap-
| plies to cultivated people.
A marriage in France is not the easy
thing it is in America. The consent of the
parents of both parties must be furnished,
or if that is not possible and they are of age,
| then the refusal must be obtained, together
| with their birth certificates and the mar
riage certificates of the parents If the lat
ter are dead their death certificates must
be procured before the bans are published.
A religious marriage is not recognized by
law, and it is usual for the civil marriage
to take place at the mayors Office in the
early morning and the religious marriage
in the church at noon, though often the
civil ceremony is read the day before the
religious ceremony takes place.
AS France is a Catholic country the
double marriage is customary. The groom
wears dress suit; the bride, high neck
white gown The bridesmaids and bridal
party are all in high necked dresses, as it is
considered the height of improperly to
enter church decollete After the serv.
ice, during part of which the bridal couple
sits on chairs with their backs to the con,
gregation, the bridesmaids take up n col
lection, passing purses made of the same
material as their dresses. The proceeds are
given to the poor.
The question is often asked, Are French
marriages usually happy" AS a rule they
are more so than American marriages. The
man is carefully selected 10y the brides
parents, who are better able to judge what
will prove a suitable match than a girl Of
20, who knows SO little of the world anG
has seen so few men that she is commonly
ready to love the chosen one 1t is tn,
fashion for French writers to deal with i'm
morality of all sorts, and this gives for
eigners false idea of things. AS matter
of fact, the standard of morality % "a,
middle classes is quite as high in france a
in America, while the so called upper cir
cles are about the same in all countries =
Jenness Miller Illustrated