St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-11-19

GLOBE. leave the unfortunate to hi
OVID weird Republican fancies and
stroll out under the placid Indian sum-
mer sunshine-up to the Arlington
hotel.
Right here [ blunder into the pres
ence of two OF the most widely adver-
Used specimens of the wild and woolly
Democracy of Minnesota the veritable
firm of ME and Mike"-otherwis Hon.
2. II. Kelly and Hon. NJ. Doran. Doubt
less most of your readers have heard of
these two distinguished citizens.
DORIAN A SPHINX.
tackled Mr.. D0ran for an interview.
"Why, bless your heart, l have only
Just got here. What could l have to
say that would interest the readers of
the GLOBE? l don't know but l am too
late or too early. L have only come to
see how the good people down here feel
over the election, anyhow. Pretty raw,
wasn't it?''
HOY about the postoffices?"
Il guess Minnesota is pretty we'll u
on those. If not, l may make a few
suggestions to Mr.. BisseIl. ! don't
know. It's too soon after my arrival. l
will talk to you about important matters
later. Oh. yes. will give the GLoB E
all the news the public wishes to have
concerning my mission-possibly a great
deal more than they want"
KELLY OUT OF POLITICS.
Upon my word Pm not down here
on any sort of political errand. | had
business in New York, and came along
with DOran so as to shed the educational
advantages of my presence upon him.
Do you know that there Is nothing quite
so effective in the education that men
require as correct association? Mr.. Do
ran is man who appreciates the COM
pany of an educated, intelligent
companion. He learns readily. He
IS one of those rare characters
that you sometimes read about
| in books, but very seldom see in real
] life-a good listener. If there is any
thing on earth that L really ENJOY it is
auditor myself. but DOran lays over
me when it comes to listening to what
the other fellow has to say. Well,
loaned him my company, and he loaned
me his ears. Did L advise him? Well,
L should remark! | am not proud. Why,
| would advise the president of the
United States, if he should ask me to-
Its too bad Mr.. Cleveland did not know
my qualifications in that direction.
Ii he had commenced i'll time, he
might have persuaded me to become
what do you call 'em?-one of
his constitutional advisers. There
cheap as advice. Now, Ill business,
sometimes l want to borrow some
money. go to the bank and the pres
ident will begin: Kelly, my advice!
| never wait to hear any more. You
see, he is trying to put off onto me some
thing that he considers as good as gold,
but that never cost him nickel. No,
mol give advice, but il never take it."
MIR. Kelly, who will get the st. Cloud
postoffce?"
DOESN'T KNOW A THING.
ASK Doran. l tell you, l am out of
politics. For thirty or forty years
served my country faithfully. I attend
ed conventions, whooped it up with the
boys, stayed out late nights-and, in
short, maintained my position on the
band wagon. They have retired ME on
pension. furnish my own pension. But
it was lots of fun, and | did enjoy it.
Did you ever know as smart men as
those early Minnesota politicians?
There was Martin Mcleod, and Sibley,
and old Joe Brown-Lord. what a
speech old Joe the Juggler could make.
Why, he could tear up rhetoric by the
roots, make shillelah out of it, and
carry the caucus by coup de main,
as we Frenchmen say, before the fell
lows on the other side knew that the
committee on credentials had been ap-
pointed. Man alive! What brain power
| they had; Henry and Ed Rice, Alex
Ramsey. old Judge Chatlield, Eugene
Wilson, George Bradley, Frank Cornell,
| Sprigg Hall, Isaac Atwater, Col. AID
rich-the fellows that were on earth
when Anthony and myself started the
little grocery at the corner OF Washing
ND CT in
neapolis. All, those were the times. my
boy!"
"As "reminiscences, Mr.. Kelly, these
| are excellent and exceedingly entertain
| ing, but what the fellows Of today are
after, through the GLOBE, is to learn
| who are to draw the official prizes under
this administration. Now, there is the
position of United States District At
| torney -"
| GROVER WILL SETTLE 1T.
"What do you and l care about who is
| to be district attorney? When Mr..
Cleveland and Mr.. Olney get ready
| they'll fix it, reckon. It's their funeral,
not mine. Do you remember the time
that l told the doorkeeper at the
Dutch opera i'll Dayidson's old opera
| house on Wabasha street that
Doc SteWart-he was mayor at the time
would be trying to beat his way into
the show by passing himself off as
mayor? And how the doorkeeper col
Jared him and was going to turn him
over to Chief of Police McIlrath, while
John Roquet and l stood back and made
faces at his honor!
"And then how the doc played even
with me when we all went up to Capt.
Haney and Mac Justices horse race at
Minneapolis-Star of the West and Old
Mack-You remember those splendid
steeds. Well, had just got comfort
ably seated in the Nicollet house dining
room for dinner when one of the watt
ers said: you are wanted immedi-
ately at the Office, Mr.. Kelly Irushed
down and thought there was some acct
dent. Frank ellison looked stern and
severe, and pointed to q sign which
read: Guests, without baggage mus
pay In advance" Holy Moses! How
mad l was. Then Doc Stewart showed
up, and remarked, II guess we've
played even on that opera house job"
"HOw are collections in Minnesota
this fall, Mr.. Kelly?''
"First rate. Better than you would
suppose. We sell for cash. No. No
upon my soul-politics is an uncertain
business. Pm right glad Pm out of IT.
Then the GLOBE correspondent took
his departure. FRANK j. MEAD.