Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1893-07-26
HUKOR OF THE DAY.

E.niamiu franklin was the originl a
lightning calculator.
Crops tha. grow by the electric light
Wild oats.-BostoH Journal.
"Ask pepper, said the fire -cracHe
fuse when u match was suggested.
That money talks don't deay;
Puck.
1t is odd enough that bIrslars take
such risks in safe opeaiuS. uS.-BI!t1H0''
-tA.erteaa. ---.
A stingy man can be relied upon to
keep everything but his promise
Elmird Gazette.
"Capital punishment" as the boy said
when the school mistress seated him Will
the girls.-Bdzar.
A man finds the poorest companion.
ship when he ''sntsrtains suspicion.
- Rdshin2t0n Star.
Your friend. may not know much. but
they know what they would do If theJ
we're in your piace.-4tc1iis0H GLOIs.
Stranger brightly - Fine daYH
Chronic Grumbler-" Yo es-locally-
probably raining somewhere. Puck"
Now is the time when the small boy
OF the family is caught poacnins on his
mothers BaLtinlors Ameri-
cAi.
All animals have their COOL points,
out for abundance of tue same none can
compete with the porcupine.-Tesls
Sytings.
1t isn't SO much that . man objects -
paw the debt OF nature; it IL nature OF
the debt that trouble him. .-RstOa
Transcript.
The peacock may not be inclined to
gossip, but he loves to spresi highly
colored tale about the neighborhooi.-
Elmira Gazette.
A man can always keep himself In
good credit SO long as he doesn't ask
for it. Paste this in your nat AMI Dodge
the fatal requsst.-"ues.
"If were only in politics." mu,el
the csr-horse as he started up the aIll
''what lot could d. with the pull
have. "-Baltim9re 4g.,rieii.
II don't look like very formidable
fellow" soliIOquizei the nonest milk
dealer; "and yet I've made lots OF
bigger men take wafer. r."-Lifa.
Blinkers-"Hello, Winkers. hear
you married a woman with al indepsnd-
ent fortune" Wiukers-"No-o; 1mar-
ried fortune with an independent
woman.
Mudge-''I hear that Trimmings girl
has induced him to give up his cigars"
Yabsley-'Hmh! That's more than auy
of the boys could do. o."-IadiaaapO..,
Journal.
People who are constantly sayinr
"what is due to society" ottea forge, a.
together what is due to themselves, 70
say nothing of what is due to the butcher
and baker.
"Sir, said the tailor, "ny suits talk
Tor me-" "But, my dear sirH cIpo.tl-
lated tile customer. ''can you expect ana
to oeiIeve statements made out Of the
who.c Goth. ."-BIltialors 4a.rieIs.
He-"Yol say you love me, but can
aot oe my wife. Il it because an poosl |
There are better things in this world than
money" Sbe-"Quite true, but 1t takes
money to buy them. ."-B,ston Budget.
THE BALD xAs a.yoIcss,
love the crisp, cool autumn dly,
Ihey Ill my soul wit, gisa .
Tor then In peace 70 nay UapS
With not fly on me.
-Nes York Esrall
oidun-"Remember, nv son, 70 sl.
ways keep your expenses Within your In
come" Young ng-un-"Got q better MAN
than that. ] propose bringing nv in
come up to my expenses. ."-fadianauo,n
J0uraat.
"Dinguss is man of e.Dep,I,.
habits, is be not. Shadbohin "Y.s
Din nsdsss habits since I have bean ,c.
q 4uainted with him have cost me SIss
without counting o cent for interest, st,n-
Chicago Tribune
He-'I wish you would sing that de,,
Old song, Backward, Turn Bsctvsyd
U Time, in Thy Flight Sweet Glri
~ might wake mother up by s,nUing.
9ut l will turn the clock back il thai Vii
do."-NeD York Press.