Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1893-06-08
Going Back.

past has its reveDges The first surprise
Is to realize the strong. undying hold the
place has on you. No other place is. or
| ever can be to you, what this is You
feel akin to the very soil. 1t is part Of
you. and you of it. What long forgotten
feelings waken to life again, How many
associations, sometimes sad. sometimes
humorous. but even then not untingeCi
with the pensive light of long ago" have
trees, rocks, hills, brooks, even the rail
fences. Driving along the country roads,
under the same elms, crossing the Con
necticut on the same old ferry. boat. YOU
are half tempted to astonish the plain Yam
kee ferry man by crying with Uhland,-
Take, . boatman, thrice Thy fee
Take.-l give !; willingly,
For, invisible TO thee.
Spirits twain have crossed with me-"
The old home may be plain aud old fash
ioned enough. but you world not exchange
its memories for any amount Of modern
improvements. Here Is the window out
OF which you used to lean, summer even
ings long ago. watching the white moon
light on silent wood and mountain, as YOU
dreamed the prepusterous dreams Of youth,
thought the "luug thoughts; In that room
lay your dead, while the wild March rain
best on the roof and window pane ia a
dreary monotone; in this. YOU dressed for
the wedding that was 10 take sou away in
to an unknown world and experiences :;
here still stand fathers aud mothers
chairs, just where they stood twenty years
ago Far distant be the day when change
shall enter here
strong. subtle. indeectibablc are the in
fuences that press in upon YOU. However
dear and beautiful other places NAV have
grown, you realize full well that no SPOT
on earth will ever be 70 YOU what this il
Here you were young, here your roots
struck deep into the sOil. and, neither YOU
VIII or not, this place is part Of yourself
iorerermore. You must always be what
III influences helped you to become. You
never can eradicate it, hold on your beng
When all else of life has faded from the
dying Drain, these memories will be unef-
faced, the deepest impressions Of the van
i>hed pas.
You are surprised TO see how much older
every one has grown. how faces that were
keen and alert, have taken on deep wrink-
les, how heads have whitcued. how slow
have grown steps YOU remember bri-k snt
vigorous. You feel for these friends 20
suddenly and prematurely aged. s~ II seems
10 you. that compassion. not untouched
with condt sCen~ion. which j., pcrhap-
always the instructive feeling o ( the strong
for the weak, the successful for the nm
fortunate But, some day. something 10
the manuer Of an old friend. ptrhap, the
vrIy eagcrnc>s OF his assurance that YOU
have not chsnxed at all, you look 80
young hpli your own 80 well suggests 10
your mind The unwclcome suspicion that
he thinks yoH have grown Old, that yotl
are the person who shows times ravagr-.
while b" remains IN statn Yuo Absurd
idea You pity his self -dclu-iuu ana vet.
a. you contemplate your semblance IN the
mirror with newly opened vision, an lr-
fe-istihle conviction steal. over YOU that
be is right II isn't the face of ten years
ago. Mr. Browning, IN Aurora Leigh"
say,
Ten layers OF birthday, on a womsn'- head
Are apt to fo-siiize her girIi-h mirth.
Though ne'er 80 merry; I'm perfofce more
wise,
And that, IN truth, means >aider."
After you have become somewhat SC
customed 10 III" idea, YOU are not wholly
unreconcilet Poor and triiLg indeed
must be the SOU over which the manifold
experiences Of ten years can pass, leaving
no trace on the face. The wriukirss
characteTe-- faces one sometimes sees In
\
envy. The chief thing Is to secure the.
night sort Of wrinkles Wrinkles of fret.
ting, worry, ill-humor and discomfort do
not conduce 10 Eoveiness; but wrinkles
left by brave struggles with hardship aud
sorrow, by serious earnest life. etch on
even plain faces the beauty Of a sweet ana
noble character. In many way. are YOU
confronted In the old home by tni- novel
unpleasant sense Of change. Houses from
whose doors and Windows, dear wr'l-re-
memberei faces always used 10 greet your
coming. with whose every nook you have
hapPy associations. are In strangers hands
now, the old inmates, scattered. gone.
dead, Great is The void, the sense Of chill
and emptiness. where once were love,
warmth, friendly welcome. You rrmem-
Der perforce Charles Lamb,
"Ghostlike paced round the haunt- OF INV
childhood;
Earth seemed desert was bound to traverse,
Seeking TO tnd the Old familiar faces"
Then, they are "improying' the village
New streets are being opened, new houses
everywhere going up, the old ones coming
down. You are often asked, with honest
local pride, II you don't find the village
greatly improved, and fear the faint heart
edness OF your feigned appreciation Will
condemn you as the conservative old fogv
you half fear you must be growing But
they are improving your village all away
Another ten years Of this devastation Of
improvement, and few indeed will be the
old landmarks left.
Once, you knew every man. woman. and
child ia the village. You still occasionally
encounter an "oldtst inhabtant" who calls
you by your first name, and always will -
in whose eyes you will always enjoy per
petual youth, be one of "our girls" but
strange faces predominate on the streets
The children have grown up, and don't
know you, and are even marrying. ANY
sllght void lett in church or social life BY
your departure has evidently long since
closed up. Your old world gets on quite
comfortably without you, and "other
kings have arisen that know not Joseph"
All these experiences of change give
you an uncomfortable realization Of the
transitoriness of all earthly relations and
interests, the slight consequences of one
little life in the great aggregate. Must
you then, at last, acquesce in the senti-
ment OF the old hymn that you alway. re-
sented, in the self-cOntidence of youth, as
altogether too doleful and saddeniug?
Like shadows gliding DER the plain,
Or clouds that roll successive on,
Mans busy generations pass;
And, while We gaze, their forms are gone
In wiser mood. however, YOU realize
that the lesson of this somewhat melan-
choly going back is. to 90 on. Love the
past, cherish its memories, be thankful
for all you owe it, but go on. Before YOU
lies the future. the future of this life, full
of possibilities TO earnest endeavor. aud
the greater future beyond Every day, we
put past behind US. May 1t ne not
weight about our necks. but a stepping
stone from whose vantage we shall go on
to fuller life, larger hope. brighter
youth Of the spirit, that perennial youth
known only to souls thoroughly alive in
their highest faculties. Such souls find
each year more to do, to know, to enjoy,
in Gods glorious world, even to the end
when all life shall finally be only childish
past, whence we 60 on forever. Christian
Register.