St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1893-01-15
A WOMAN IN THE HOUSE.

Once more the enemy is in our midst,
Nothing personal is intended by that
remark, and the Legislature need not
feel offended. Hearing of the proxim-
ity of such an iluStr0us body my pen
got little excited. and, escaping my
clutches, gave vent to that tragical re-
mark. Ii had been left to my own
simple devices, should have written
"Our friends are with us again." but
certainly that would have sounded very
commonplace, and as this pen formerly
belonged to the wife of a senator. who
always composed and wrote bis
speeches, it surely ought to know the
proper expression to use in this case, so
| will let 1t have its own little steel
pointed way.
Now will the city people sink into in
significance, and crops and the highest
price for hay will be waited around the
corner on every breezelet. Everyone
should visit legislature Ill session. 10
people who have never seen stock eX-
change or bull-tight. it will be all eX-
citing and awe-inspiring experience.
Don't imagine you have stumbled into
Kindergarten; whatever happens
keep your seat and don't scream fire"
When it is your turn 10 serve your
country by becoming member of that
d1gnified body, you will find 1t come
naturally to you to mount a chair and
shout, while you wave manuscript
wildly in mid-air. II you would wish
to do your political supporters honor, L
would advise q few vocal lessons before
the Legislature conVeneS.
will never forget my first visit to the
lno lnI. fint flA
but some of the members who are now
bald-headed had quite a crop of hair
then and most of their teeth. As | went
in L heard pretty, sott-volced little
female lObby(ster) telling one OF our
finc-looking senators, 1.-THE only way to
Institute a harmonious single party for
the whole state was to have the women
start a new party, and if all the polti-
clans Susceptible creatureS) didn't be-
long to that party inside of 4 year, her
name wasn't, etc., etc." and he looked
as though that was his opinion also.
This is how happened to attend. |
am not stickler for WOmen'S rights,
never had any rights or wrongs, and
never want any; but | had an idea that
some of our laws needed revising, and
that | was the proper person to lend my
valuable services in their reconstruc-
ton. | set out to find some nice, grand
fatheriy old legislator who would adopt
me and my pet bill, viz, compelling rob
bers to repay the robbed. The bill Was
never passed. so it must be true that
only the Notwithstanding
chewing mountaineering sex are capable
of making laws. while the guM-cheWlng-
train-dragging sex must be content to
make fashions and let laws alone.
4
had been robbed of most OF my
wearing apparel. and the female thief
was in prison, but that didn't satisfy
me, for was still clothesleSS. L want
ed her taken from her luxurious dwell
ing place where l have heard it is
quite common practice to serve pota-
toes every day!-and made to do my
washing long enough to pay for new
clothes. | wouldn't promise to dress
her in stripes, but had plenty of nice
mosquito bar plaids, which L am sure
would be very comfortable i'll summer,
and she could curl her bangs Sundays
as a reward for good behavior. Ii L did
fail i'll passing that bill, my visit was
not entirely useless. for got an expert
ence which | shall never forget.
4
The legislators stroled in, in couples
and little crowds, and [ gazed in awe
stricken admiration at the supporters Of
our constitution. After they were COM
fortably seated and had glanced over
the applications from numerous widows
and orphan aSylums for situations con-
sisting OF 10 work and lots of pay, they
all seemed to get rising idea into their
political laW-making and breaking
brains, and, arising simultaneously,
began talking, until they made such
noise feared the roof would fall in
but it didn't, it had extra props put
under it some years since; the members
yelled until it got shaky and then tried
to blame the contractor.
That no one listened to what any par
ticular member pleased to remark, did
not seem to bother them at first, but
soon some of the weaker brethren be-
came tired, and, looking mildly dis
floor was finally left to q couple repre-
senting opposite parties. They imme-
diately girded on their political armOr
and advanced cOurageOusly TO the at
tack. They shouted and stormed and
the speaker hammered. l began to
get nervous, and expected they would
fly at each other. Mr.. Blank being
shorter Winded than his cyclone
opponent. finally gave in, and
as he fell exhausted into his seat po-
litely remarked. "Mr. x. has the floor;"
so he did. and the air and the ceiling.
He yelled on and on. l could not under
stand exactly what it was all about, but
gathered enough to know that when
Mr.. X. took his seat in that satisfied
manner he thought he he'd convinced
the public at large that Mr.. Blank and
all of his party were confirmed villains,
trying to rob the poor man." Looking
at some of these villains, concluded
the stealing business stock must be be-
low par.
| was worried for fear | had not
locked my doors and was III haste to get
home before Blank got out, and then
and there determined to put patent
burglar alarms on our windows until
Blank and his friends left town. l
thought Blank would never forgive Mr..
X, but couldn't help noticing how calm
he looked, then remembered "a calm
before storm" and supposed they
would kill each other Immediately upon
adjournment If anything is dear to
the Irish heart, it is a good fight, so our
l flew Ons the wings of curiosity