The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-07-29

Of ten. Ii Is useless and absurd to tell
every woman that she can conquer her
dislike for pots, kettles, ranges, soiled
vegetables and raw meats. She cannot
learn to like such things if she is not
born housekeeper.
The only way for her to do Is TO con-
slider this work the sacrifice she offers
on that altar of love and to compel her
self to do it well and cheerfully. Many
wife tells her husband she would die
| for him If it became necessary, and she
| longs to perform some difficult and dan
| gerous feat to prove the strength Of her
love. AT the same time she is making
him miserable by parading her dislike
| for and ineficiency in housekeeping.
| Why not resolve to control this dis
| like and overcome this inefficiency by
| courage, perseverance and system and
| to regard it as the most needed and use
| full sacrifice she can make for her hus-
band? She should say to herself: Il do
not love this task. 1 have no natural
skill or taste for homework, but will
take pleasure in doing it well because it
| is the surest way of giving my husband
comfort and pleasure, and the happiness
we give others is the only pleasure which
| lasts
know scores of men who feel an alb
solute loathing for the struggle and toll
of money making. Every day they are
dropping dead in the counting room and
on the street with the severe pressure
on brain and heart. However bloOdless
may seem tEk battle for dollars, the
wounds are given and bleed inwardly.
And what happiness can life hold for
+Ia nd lyat
Is closed, they go to discontinued wives
and i'll conducted homes, where the
household worries are added TO the strife
of the business world?
There is only now and then a wife who
seems to realize that all this strife and
struggle is for her happiness and pleas
ure and that men go to their places of
business with quite as much dread and
distaste as wives go to the kitchen. How
heartless and devoid of sense would the
man seem who, after having asked a
woman to share his life, told her daily
that he hated the work he was compelled
to do to support her and that he did not
believe he had taste for such labor.
Yet it is Just as absurd and heartless for
the wife to constantly parade her dislike
for housekeeping.
At the same time most men are not
inclined to give their wives the SYM
patty and appreciation in the manage
ment of the home which they need. IF
had daughter" said man to nle one
day, II would take her on my knee and
tell her what d fearful strain money
making meant for man, and l would
instill into her mind sympathy and APP
probation for her future husband in that
way"
I thought this a very beautiful senti-
ment, but almost in another breath /
heard him say: 81 often think it must
be delightful to be woman. They have
such an easy, care free time Of it, with
nothing to do but stay in the shelter of
home and keep the house.
at is indeed great privilege to be a
woman" 1 replied, because we are thus
permitted to be loved by men. But the
keeping of the house is in its way as
wearing as the outer strife. You men
are struggling with brutal giant
'Business'-who tries to throttle you.
To overcome him requires all your
strength. We women are set upon by
an army of gnats-the petty cares of
housekeeping. They sting and poster us
to distraction night and day, small as
they are. We need your sympathy as
much as you need ours. Neither should |
sneer at the others toll"
4 husband once asked me to talk tsi 4
his wife and endeavor to make he. r,ora
thoughtful in regard to his o.oros ond
worries. ''She does not sez.,,,+lor r 20
the strain of businels career. he said,
land l think you ',,,i[r,,+ ,1roSon+ II all ~
her in a wav ~ 4AiSnT - - o.
ing"
zen Sorry for him, yet knew him to
pt the invitation of gentleman to
zine at the club one evening without
sending any word home to his wife, who
waited dinner two hours, compelling her
servant to lose an evening out and bring
ing discord and trouble generally into
the domestic regions by his thoughtleSs
selfishness. How could he expect his
wife to sympathize with his cares when
he showed such a lack of sympathy for
hers?
However petty may seem a wOman's
work to a man, he should not tell her so.
The care and anxiety and annoyance
which go into the preparation of din
ner are in their way as taxing to the
nerves and vital forces as the strain of
the counting room and office. Especial
" are they so when the man for whom
the dinner is planned regards it as mere
child's play, just as the brutal blows OF
the business world seem harder to bear
when a mans wife, for whom he tolls,
speaks of 'the good time he has had
all day while she has been shut in the
kitchen"
The best man know once said to his
wife, Married people ought to think
each morning, Now let US treat each
other today in manner that would
leave no remorse for the one living were
the other to die tomorrow.
With such motto and with mutual
sympathy, thoughtfulness and apprecia-
ton and self control married life can, to
my positive knowledge, be made heav-
en- on earth.
ELLA WHEELER WILCOX
General Grants Quick Perception.
One afternoon during the siege of Vicls