The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1893-10-12
WHAT THEY LAUGHED AT.
The Bald Headed Man Tells Tale OF
Mirth and Woe.

The BaId-Headed Man Tells a Tale of
Mirth and Woe.
''What hate above all other thin rs, >"
said the bald-headed m1II as he or
dered lemon phosphate and mopped
himself, lis a ride in an elevated train
in the same car with two giggling
girls. Why, there's nothing sacred in
their eyes; nothing is safe from their
ridicule. And the worst of 1t is that
they seldom know what they are
laughing at
The bald-headed man stopped talk
ing to drink his soda, and after he had
made few grimaces over its sting, he
went on:
Yesterday afternoon took train
at the bridge station to go to Harlem.
1t was warm and | took off my hat as
soon as found seat and famed my
self with a newspaper. When the
train had started | noticed a couple of
uncommonly pretty girls opposite who
seemed to enjoy life immensely. Their
bright young faces sparkled with
merriment and they laughed, oh, SO
gayly.
cat least thought they were pretty
and merry then. | soon began to look
around to see what they were laugh
ing at. Presently | spied something
that would make a horse laugh. A
fresh young dude stood right in the
middle of the car plumb in front of
one those long mirrors between the
windows, admiring himself.
"Why he actually stared himself out
of countenance. He twisted his neck
tie this way and that, stuck his feet back
and forth until the crease in his trousers
set just right, twirled his mustache
until it had the proper curl, and then
he looked around to see if the girls
were watching him.
"Just then caught their eye and
what? Whose eye? Why, the prcttiest
ones, of course. Don't be critical when
mans telling story. Well, you
should have heard them giggle and
nod at me. Why. / grew ten years
younger. and the girls and | had a
lovely time making fun across the
aisle with our eyes at the dude.
Then | saw something else that was
funny-to them. This time it was an
Italian woman, with highly colored
shawl on her head, who was nodding
off to sleep. She was doing her sleepi-
est best to keep her arm on the window
sell and it kept slipping off. Every
time her jaw dropped her arm would
go down, and she was d funny spec
tacle, tell you.
nt hn ri,.1
again when I saw that they were
laughing at the Italian, and they nearly
had fit
"Just then the train stopped at sta
ton and there came in young man
who sat down by me and took his hat
off. He was a sight. All the hair on
his head seemed to be gathered right
on his forehead and he had had it
trained to make him look like Jimmy
Powers. He thought he was sumner.
Then the girls had gay time. While
they were laughing fit to kill and l
was giving 'em sly wink, suddenly
happened to remember that my wife
had asked me to get her something
from dry goods store in Twenty-third
street We were just pulling into that
station and jammed my hat on my
head and rushed out"
There was a pause. A fakir on the
curb showed a grimy hand ont near the
bald-headed mans face and called:
Combs! Nice pocket combs, in cases,
only a dime!'
There was transcription of English
not from the Bible, and the bald
headed man hurried on, red from his
collar to his hat brim. In moment
he continued:
That's just the trouble everywhere.
1t amt my fault! That was the
trouble on the IL train. As I was
hustling ont of that car slipped close
past the girls to give EN- parting
wink, and | heard this delightful bit
of information:
''He, he, me- Isn't it pity? 1t did
shine so nicely
30 yes" the bald-headed man sighed.
as he hailed car, they had been
laughing at me all along. The dude
and the Italian woman and the pompa-
dour weren't in it with my head. It's
ALWAYS so. N. V Recorder