The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1893-11-14
TOLD ON THE QUIET.
Such Is Life-The Meanest Man Oscar
Wilde on Violet.
individual and Other opin.ons.)

And now the country editor begins
his editorials: "One year ago. the
sweeping victories of the Democratic
party made leaders of that party be-
1t was a very level-headed editor
who penned the following: My friend.
do not speak slightingly of that man
with the battered hat and time-worn
clothes. He is probably the editor OF
the home paper, while the man with
the silk hat and well brushed clothes
that passes him by son the other side
is the delinquent subscriber. Appear
ances are often misleading"
"reminiscences of the lamented
Carter Harrison are now in order, and
among several that have been printed
lately, find this: When Carter Har-
rison was in Congress and bill was
being considered affecting the agri-
cultural interests, he was pounced
minded the member from Chicago that
he ought to keep quiet and allow the
representative of the farmers to have
their say. Whereupon, raising his
voice to a pitch it had never reached
before, Harrison shouted: Il am from
a district only three miles long and
two miles wide, but in it we raise more
grain than do many states combined
1t is raised by elevators This speech
established Carter Harrison'S reputa-
ton as a humorist.
There's many true word spoken
in jest" and perhaps the following is
as good an illustration as any: An
r1T1 n q
outskirts of small Montana town a
few days ago. A search disclosed 500
in cash and revolver on the body of
the unfortunate young man. The cor
oner held an inquest and it took SIS to
defray the expenses and bury the
body. The police judge fined the corpse
SIS for carrying concealed weapons,
newspapers as usual got nothing for
publishing the obituary.
The Denver News man does not ap-
pear to be in love with Mary E.
Lease. He calls her common scold,
and says she should be above washing
her dirty linen in public.
The thrashing administered to a fell
low who has degraded journalism in
this city for a couple Of weeks past
was we'll deserved. He will probably
have some respect for decency here
after.
Down to the present century a part
of the marriage ceremony in Hungary
consisted in the groom giving his bride
a kick to remind her Of her subsection.
.'Hulda." who by the by, is of uncer-
tain age, says she would rather be
kicked than be kissed by a. man who
chews tobacco.
Bill Nye came very close to the truth,
when he said: "a man who will use a
wart on the back of his neck for a col
grave to save corn, fail to cross his
is or dot his is to save inla is a credit
to the man who will take a newspaper
from the postoff1ce and when asked to
pay for it or subscribe puts it back
and tells the postmaster to mark it re-
fused -
Put a patrol in City Creek canyon!
Put one there at once.
Oscar Wilde says: Beware of
women who wear violet Why? vio-
let didn't cut much of figure in the
last campaign.
The women of Iceland have had
suffrage for more than twenty years.
Colorado is now even up with Iceland.
The Road says: There is gold in
the mountains and silver in the hills;
and we're going to make 'em coin it,
so we can pay our bills"
Such is life! In an eastern magazine
there lately appeared an elegant work
of art in the shape of a picture of a
really handsome man. There was not
flaw to be found in it. Accompany
| ing this work of art, was a letter press
description of the gentleman whose
features were thus thrown to the gaze
Of an admiring public.
Was he the hero of hundred bat
ties? Was he the author of works
that will never die? Was he renowned
in art, in literature, in music? Was
he the man without whom the world
would probably creak on it's axis
These are the questions that fitted
through my mind. Well, hardly He
never even wrote After the Ball.
he cared no more for music than does
the Tribune for truth; he probably
never heard of Shakespeare, or Milton
or Tennyson-probably not of Pat
Moran. What was he, you ask? He
was the inventor, owner and operator
of new method of popping corn! But
he had made fortune by it.
DIR. FELL.
TUE nm rnTEc