Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1893-01-20
PlTU AND POINT.

A Moody ompaniou-Saukcy.
And adder's bitc--thc bank clerks
,unch.
Isn't an attempt to prove an alibi self
Icnial?
Has to scratch for livins-Thc
etchcr.
The man who knows everybody knows
lew friends.
Give man half chance and he win
akc all of it.-Atchison Glubc.
A rose is just as sweet by any name
md vinegar is just as sour.-Truth.
Some people are as plain and disagree
able as the truth. -Atchison Globe.
1t is only the babe who eau innoccntly
aavc ''rattling" good tlme.-Judge.
Il brooks are so joyous. as poets say,
why do they keep murmurins all the dny,
Judge.
The pawnbroker's window is the coma
meaucst type of loan exhibitions
,delphia Record.
The name detective may become q
"by-word." but it can never be '.catch-
word. Washington Star.
We don't know of any man who is
abused as much as the word "accom-
plished. -Atchison Globe.
Singers frequently get stuck on a
note. We suppose this is owing to the
pltch.-Binghamton Leader.
The brides oprion of her husband is
about the best opinion oman ever has
OF man.-Atchison Globe.
Shetland they're really to be mar.
cied' What does she see in hint" lie
"a man after her own hearth"
Maud-"Why do you think Alice is
vain" NIay-"Thc other day L heard
her say she looked like me. New
York Herald.
Adlet-"What is the course of true
love, Miss Kissam1' Miss Kissum-oIt
leads along the bridal path, Mr.. Adlet."
New York Telegram.
Trouble and kin AMI cats are about
The only things that mau can have that
other people don't try to get away from
him.-Atchison Globe.
Mrs. Figgs-"Whcre is that custard
put away this noon?' Tonmy-s.I-
guess it vanished into the empty
heir. indianapolis Journal.
"Do they ring bell to awaken you at
your boarding house," "No, we get
up when We hear the cook pounding the s
bcefsteak. New York Press.
Come, come, Mr. Comet,
We earnestly hope
You are duly impressed with
Our big telescope.
Washington Star.
$50 Bingdad is married at last I'll
bet he is a No. husband" mo, he
is not. He is No. 2 husband. He
married widow" indianapolis Jour.
nal
Mr.. Dobbs-"Do you believe in civil
service, Mrs Blobbsa' Mrs. Blobbs-
Indeed do; why, if servant ever
sasses me discharge her hight away"
Philadelphia Record. ::
The cabin boy was in the habit Of eat.
ing his loaf bread and leaving the
crusts. MIate-"Wc cat our crusts here,
laddic." Boy-"Wee!, Pm leavin' them
tao ye."-Dundcc News.
Druggists Assistant--"Oh. sir, I've
given Mrs. Ailmcnt fatal dose of poison,
by mistake" Drug - ntountP
you, yon idiot You've knied my best
customer Pick Me UP.
She looked up at the clock and he
snid-"You are thinking it Is time for
me to CO." With sweet smile she an
swered-"You could make money as
mind reader. Cape Cod Item.
| We must sup of the sorrows within life's cup,
| Be patient meath fortunes Irown;
| But let us SO live that. when we ara up
Wen forget we have ever p.en Town.
Judge.
"What's the matter with the babya"
asked lady of little girl, whose baby
Brother she had understood to be aillng,
"Oh, nothing much" was the answer.
Giles only hatchin' tes,A. '-rcxas
Siftings.
"By the way, JOSIAH" said Mrs.
Chugwater, edo you know your exact
height" 81 do" repl,e Mr. Cnug-
water. "I stand exactly six feet,
Samantha, in pair of SOCKS that need
darning most awfully. "-UAcayo Tri-
bune.
Mr.. shortweight dealer in coaD-'l
want you to settle for nj ON OF coal
you got few days ago. A uan has to pay
for what he gets in this world" Gus
tomer-"You are right, sir. And when
ne buys coal he has to pa. for lot ho
doesn't get. Brooklyn Lac.