The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-10
A CHINESE BANQUET.
The Treachery of a Pig-tailed Ward
McAlister.

] Inc ITeaCneTY OF a Plg-talleQ w ara
McAllister.
| From the san Francisco Chronicle Of Aug. 10.
The four hundred ana more of China
! town. that Is TO say, the 400 and more
chicken butchers, pawn brokers and sau-
sage manufacturers, were in a wild fiutter
of social excitement last night. The
/ melting cause of the Juror was the dinner
given by the Merchants Exchange of
! Chinatown TO the minister plenipOtontiarv
| from Picking, Yung Yu, and the score of
| pig-tailed diplomats in his train. On the
| previous evening his excellency had been
dined in the true oriental style
! by the Chinese Six Companies and
| Attorney RiOrdan, and last night it came
| to the turn of the unelassified men of
trade in the Monaghan colony to stuff
the representative of the celestial empire
with all the deliCacies known to their
best cuisine. The restaurant is situated
on Dupont street, near Commercial, in a
3-story structure, with balconies in the
oriental style and prOfusiOn of tinsel,
red paint, Chinese lanterns and music
| that would set the teeth of an alligator
on edge. To this repository of Mongolian
delicacies all the invited guests were
proudly wheeled in American hacks pi-
lOted by an acute Jehus who figured with
grim satisfaction on the glorious oppOr-
tunity to afflict the heather and in some
degree even up matters by charging them
six prices for the uuacCustOmed luxury of
ride in foUr-wheeled chariot.
The hour of dinner was o'clock to the
minute. In Picking this is the fashiOna-
bic time for taking the evening meal, for
the law of COufucius has set it for all
time in China. The fashionable barber
of Cum Cook alley, who scrapes the
heads and chins of the wealthieSt chicken
and fish butchers in that thOroughfare,
dilated last evening to an interested
crowd of patrons on the reason why z
O'Clock Is the orthodox hour for dining
among the Mongolian -Four Hundred.
According to his story COnfucluS was at
one time in very straitened circum-
stances. Were 1t not for the fact that in
his day the upper class of Chinese phil
osophers invariably went barefoOted, it
might be said of him with melancholy
truth that he had to walk on his uppers.
II became a grave question with him
where his next square meal of rice was
coming from. Free lunches were not yet
a pleasant innovation in China, and the
philosopher found that striking his old
friends for a quarter was better way of
acquiring a knowledge of human nature
than a knowledge of how to avoid starya-
ton just when he was on the point of
taking a suicidal plunge into convenient
frog pond highlander with sack of
ducks stolen from neighboring rancher,
passed in hurry. One of the birds made
its escape from the sack and was futter-
ing off. when Confucius, with that cour
tesY which has ever been the character
istic Of great philosophers, pursued and
captured it with ease, the duck being both
lame and broken-winded.
If L were punster instead of an
honest merchant said the observant
highlander, Il would remark that that
bird is not very fly or you would not have
caught him so easily"
IF thou hadst," replied Confucius,
Chou vert guilty of a very fowl joke"
by my forefathers pigtails," re-
! sponded the jocular thief, there are no
grasshoppers in your whiskers, old man"
and from this pleasant oriental badinage
| followed an invitation to supon the stolen
ducks, which, it is needless to say, the
| philosopher accepted, believing that it is
| better to eat with highlander than
| starve, even in a church meeting. just as
| they sat down to the hospitable board
| Confucius looked at the sun dial and saw
! that it was exactly seven hours past noon,
! I'D from that day to this Z O'Clock, ac-
! cording to the Cum Cook alley barber,
| has been the orthodox time for first
| class Chinese dinner. The Order of the
| Lame Duck, which is one of the MODEST
of the Mongolidu ranks conferred by the
| imperial pleasure III China dates from the
same historic circumstance
1IttAStlg az y GIG IA Inc ilAsGh5 OEEttlI
! to roll up to the Dupont street restaurant,
| and the anxious but delighted pork
! butchers, cigar-stutfers and fish peddlcrs
began TO roll out and elbow each other up
stairs in the trail of the plonipotentiary,
! from whom they were separated by
! twenty diplomats in costumes that looked
! like the hand-uaintcd night shirts con
ferred on popular bridegrooms by admir-
ing female relatives. The merchants
were also attired in long flowing garments
| of the rObe-de-nuit pattern
The guests We're soon seated without
any ceremony, but with much sorrow, for
cold-blooded social plot developed itself
the moment that the banquet hall was
! reached
1t was expected. of course. that the
! plenipotentiary would take a seat some
/ where in the main banquet han, where
! the orators of SpOtfOrd alley, which is
noted for its eloquent speakers. would
/ have Il free Whack at him. One fat pork
/ butcher had a roll of Chinese autographed
/ eloquence in his pocket, and several Jack
! son street and Cum Cook alley finanCiers
were about as we'll heeled it promised
| 10 be a great night for the Chinese Ian
! guage, and, in expectation of a prolonged
| flow of elOquence, brass band and an
( extra stock of rice brandy had been pro-
/ yided. The unexpected, however, hap
/ pened, as always does occur on momen-
/ The Ward McAllister of Chinatown is
a sleek pawnbroker who does business
back of the Jackson street theater His
dictum is supreme court law on all social
! questinns within radius of six blocks of
h is store, and he naturally fell into the
! position OF chief director Of last nights
! festivities. He has been much sought af-
| ter for several days by aspiring mer-
chants who desired to sit as close as pos
sible to the plenipotentiary, and every
wire was pulled to further such ambition
Merchants who can draw their checks for
four figures approached him under the
delicate pretense of being hard pressed bv
the financial stringency and soaked their
silver watches. He has done a roaring
! trade for several days, but his prosperity
is at an end.
1t is suspected that he tacitly allowed
at least fifty merchants to believe that
he could rub elbows with the plenipoten-
tiary Matters reached such a crisis at
z O'Clock that there was nothing left for
the Monaghan Ward McAllister but to
snub the whole band of ambitious guests
| and thus get himself out of the frying
pan. so to speak, by jumping into the fire.
To the unspeakable CONSERVATION Of the
guests, the head of the grand procession
did not step when he reached the middle