Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1893-11-27
Guaranteed Cure.

Guaranteed Cure.
GUARANTEED CURE.--We authorize our ad
| vertised druggist to sell DR.. Kings New Dis.
covery for Consumption, Coughs and Colds
upon this condition. If you are afflicted with
a Cough, Cold or any Lung, Throat Chest
! trouble, and will use this remedy directed
giving it fair trial, and experience no ben
eft, you may return the bottle and have your
money refunded. We could not make this off
er did we not know that DR.. Kings New Dis
covery could be relied 1t never disap-
points. Trial bottles free at H. C. Pierce's
Drug Store. Large size soc. and $1.00. 2
There ought to be a reformation in
the habits Of sculptors; they are fire.
quently on bust.
GA babe" says writer, "is moth
er's anchor" Yes, and the first thing
! she does is to weigh it.
Some cautious people look at a
knotty question from all sides and
then walk off and leave it.
The highest form of sincere lattery
at the present time is to ask a man if
he can change a $40 bill.
How is it such numbers of young
men starting out to make a name for
| themselves in life hit on Dennis?
Do vns' Elixir will cure any cough or cold,
tef of how long standing.
The woman on the silver dollar
can't be an actress, for she isn't worth
as much as she thinks she is.
No matter how economical he may
be or how large his wages, the coal
miner often finds himself in the hole.
BUcKLEN's ARN1cA SALvE.-The Best salve
in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers,
Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles, or pay re-
CURED. It is guaranteed to give perfect sat
1sfactlon, or money refunded. Price 25 cents
per box. For Sale by II. c. Pierce.
While it IS true that a great many
mortals are dissatisfied with their lot
in life, the chimney sweeps seems to
SCOT him.
Aspiring politicians should enlist
the symp atbies Of telephone linemen;
they are expert wire pullers and ac-
tive at the poles.
In Tartary when a native wants to
invite man to eat or drink with him
he took him by the ear. In this way
it is easy to cltch Tartar
When a man trys to be good and
takes care of the baby, his wife com
plains that he will be the death of the
child the way he handles it.
Emma-We saw a sea serpent from
the hotel [ was at. Bertha Hun!
That's nothing. There were two
young N II at the hotel where [ spent
my vacation.
Deans Rheumatic Pills absolutely cure
rheumatism & Neuralgia. Entirely vegeta-
BILE. safe.
Father-Didn't I hear high words
between you and your brother just
now, Henry? Henty-Very likely, IA
Their; but surely you wouldn't want
me TO use low language.
Editor (to aspiring writer) You
should write SO that the most ignorant
can understand what you mean. AS
pirant-Well, what part Of my para
graph don't you under stand?
Inc whole world loves l.ver,'
said ne. Yes, so [ have heard,n said
she. "But then, you know, l am not
the whole world" "You are to me,'a
said he. And then she gave in.
Ely's Cream Balm is worth its weight in
gold cue for catarrh. One bottle cured
me. s. A. Lowell Franklin, Pa.
Mamma" said bright little girl,
MIR. Jones down at the corner doesn't
have to put in that about daily bread
when he says his prayers ssWhy, not
my dear?o because he's a baker,
Teacher Now that have finished
my discourse on 'Teeth," if there is
any one who wishes to ask a question,
I will answer it. Small boy in the
class-How many teeth are there in
the claws of death?"
1 have been a sufferer from catarrh for 20
years. l found immediate relief in the of
E1y's Cream Balm. Since using it have not
suffered q moment from headache, sore throat
or loss of sleep, from which I previously sui
fered, caused by catarrh. I consider your
Balm valuable remedy. r. G. Vassar, 55
Warren St, New Yark.