The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1893-04-17
FUNFOR CITY YOUTHS
SINGULAR IDEAS or sP0Rr TiiAT-ia
LAUGH PROVOKING.

Amusement From the Point Of view Of tn,
Ragged Urchin--Qualitics That Are Es
sential to Full Appreciation of tn.
Richness Of This Fun.
Hulloa, everybody, did you ever have any
,funf Now don't all speak at once. Per
haps you don't know as much about fun a,
you think you do. 1t may be that you have
been so restricted by your environments
that you have never seen or had the real
crude article, and perhaps It will be new
suggestion to you when tell you that fur
is one of these many good things which de
preciates and Is apt to lose its germ by be
ing superreflned.
There Is no end of fun in this world. The
city of New York is fairly effervescent with
1t. 1t Turks unseen in every alleyway, wait
ing to tickle you between the ribs and send
you off into commissions. Tho most sedatt
and sterile streets abound In latent fun Il
you only possess a sufficient sense of hume,
to End 1t out and overcome its inertia.
There are u few essentials, however, which
it is absolutely necessary that you should
possess before you can explore the ultimate
recesses where fun seeks seclusion.
You must be 8 years old. You must b.
poor. You must be ragged. You must live
In the vicinage of Mulberry, Bayard and
Baxter streets. OF course you can have
some fun il you are years old-or Q. But
I should advise you to be as near as pos
sible, because at that age your sense Of
humor is broad, unabridged and pure. You
must be poor in order that you may appre
ciate fun in its crude state; ragged, because
that gives you immunity from injuring
your clothes-an abandon, SO to speak. You
must live in Poverty Flat" because there
you will have the greatest scope and the
most fertile field in which to display your
ingenuity Being thus armed and equipped
by both nature and fortune, you will &c
forth in quest of fun.
What Is funf The answer may be summed
up In the one word, "Aggravation." Per
haps you won't find the word given as O
synonym In the dictionary, but that Is sim
ply because Noah Webster didn't have his
fun in that way. There is, to be sure, a
time honored but most delusive aphorism
to the effect that ito be good is to be hap
py." You and will readily discard such
sophistry. We would remark that ito be
aggravating is to be happy" For example
The barber, NJ Raven, has a nice, clean
window pane. He washes it every morn
ing in order that the passersby may look In
and see how cozy and inviting his estab
lishment is and how his customers stretch
out at their ease in his big, comfortable
chair. This is splendid opportunity fol
fun. You go along and breathe on his win
dow pane. By pressing your face against
the pane till your nose is quite fiat ant
breathing quick and hard you can manag,
to steam over quite a large surface in 6
short time.
Then, when the barber shakes his fist al
you and makes a pretence of leaving hi,
customer, half lathered, to run after you
you can indulge In specit1of 5-finger OK
ercises, which is very irritatiug-that is
you elevate your hand to the level of YOU
nose, extend yGNr thumb until 1t touches
the tip of that organ and wiggle waggl,
your fingers. This has been called ICON
densed irony" and will surely cause tn.
barber great annoyance, while at the same
time, at your susceptible age, rendering
you lots Of pure, unauthorized fun. II you
wish to further indulge your sense of hui
NOR at the expense of the barber, you car
write your name with flourish on the
pane where you have steamed it.
You are ragged, and the natural imprints
which your feet leave in the newly faller
snow show that you are barefooted. Yer,
good. Can't boy laugh with his boot,
off, would like to knowi Did ever mar
absorb any humorous propensities from
his shoes and stockings? You and have
heard of those people who can't tell jok,
from side of sole leather, and they ar,
the misanthropes who look upon bare
footed childhood as one lacking in fun an6
devoid of happiness.
A..
old tin pail, fill it with lime and pour il
sufficient water to set fire to the lime
Then you fasten piece of wire to you,
pail and whirl it around your head furi
ousiy. This will not only brighten horse
to the verge of madness, but is legitimat,
source of fun per 80.
Again, you procure an oldsstoclSing-an,
color will do-the length is the importani
factor. The foot of this you fill with -four
and, by the way, as the victim of this littl,
joke rarely, If ever, gets the right perspec
tive in looking at it from his standpoint
you would better have a partner in YOU
enterprise Or better still, four or five. But
hal ha! see you catch my idea at once
Yes, herein lies your opportunity to gel
even with the boy whowears better elothe.
than you do. You flour bag'' him, so tt
speak. Your exquisite sense of humor will
attract you toward some boy whose clothe.
are dark-black preferred. This is, more
over, an instructive maneuvcr. You ART
exemplifying for the time being, in the ac
of swinging your loaded stocking, the op
erations of the centripetal and centrifugal
forces, and you unconsciously absorb a Ger
tain amount of practical knowledge there
by, much as the nursery babes do who
construct houses out of blocks labelet
RATS" ETC., respectively.
Another rare bit of legitimate and highl,
commendable sport Is this. You can wall
along very softly behind some nervous ole
gentleman, till you see at a distance aheat
of you one of your Daniel boon cempan
ions. Then you rush forward like ma
MAC and at the same instant let out vel
that will freeze the blood in his yeins-t,
say nothing of his arteries and heart. Yol
are merely calling to your playmate, ant
how can any man in his right mind TAX
offense at you for thatf
Above all things, be cautious. Avoit
| getting into trouble. Alasl you are com
| PEELED to bear in mind that not every per
son who has advanced somewhat beyon,
your happy time of life was ever endowe,
with, or, II SO, still retains, your keen, I'm
defiled, unadulterated and unbounde,
sense of humor.-New York Herald.
| Animals and Alcohol.