The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1893-08-16
WIT AND HUMOR.
OUT OF SIGHT.
OUT OF SIGHT.
She tripped adown the beach, the sprite.
Beside the oceans marge to sit;
Her bathing suit was out of sight
Her macintosh was over Il.

NO parachute.-EinlirG GeEette.
When you try to be good try to be
good for something.-Ram's Horn.
Talk about women being fighty!
Look at bank cashiers. = 1ecas Sttt-
isgs.
A good mirror always tells the truth,
no matter upon whom it reflects
Troy Press.
The relations between the milkman
and his customers are generally strain
ed.-BufaIo Courier.
When you see messenger boy rum
ming you may know that he has lost
his Job Gatveston Netcs.
Gardner-What is the softest kind
of pearP Wardner-A bridal pair, l
should say.-N. Y. Herald.
sWhy do they call one-horse villages
hamletsp" Because they are so mel
ancholy. ."-Harper Bazar.
Hjalmar Hjorth Boyesen is to be the
ciommencement Orator at Smith Col
lege next wjeek. Herald.
Enter June, the month of fishing;
and likewise of brides who have sue
cessfully angled. - Philadelphia Record.
There are different ways of getting
out of Office. One is to have the head
taken off. This is short cut.-PhilG-
delphiG Times.
@Dear me! what an unpleasant odori
Can it be the drainsP" Cant be the
drains, miss, cos there amt any,
Lendon Judy.
1t Is bad enough to break party ties,
but it isn't half SO embarrassing as to
have them work around under your
sars.-7eras Sytfngs.
Josephine-What is it that makes
Mr.. Lovelook so fascinatingP Amy
He's suspected of having murdered his
first wife.-M Y. Herald.
Mrs. Byers-All the big berries are
at the top of this box, snpposee Tom
Carter-Oh, no mum; some NV 'eE
are on top NV the other boxes.-Puck.
Most of the gold now going abroad
will probably make more or less pro-
longed trips in the buy-ways of Eu-
rope and then return.-P PhitGdetp tphiG
Times.
Some of the spring suits are SO light
that the Charlieboys have to carry fiat
irons in their trousers pockets to pre-
vent their flying away.-Mi,s'seapolis
Tribune.
Wild-eyed Mani want some sooth-
ing sirup, quickl Druggist-"What
sized bottlep Wild-eyed Man-Bottle!
want q keg! It's twins!-M Y.
Weekly.
A divine announced to his flock last
Sunday that "Amens" were all right al
the proper time, but that they did not
rattle in the collection basket.-Iezas
Sytings.
Mother-Now, Violet. can you give
me any reason why shouldn't punish
you? Violet-Es, ! tan; re doctor
said 'oo mustn't take any vi'lent ex-
'cise.-Puck,
Shingiss Why is Miss Wallfower
singing Fl want to be an angelo" Van
Braam-Some one told her that mar
riages were made in heaven.-Pitts-
burg Cbronicle.
A reckless New York editor has been
telegraphing to Congressman for their
thoughts on different questions. The
Congressman who thinks is myth
Wdshsngton Post.
Examiner-Can you furnish proof OF
graduation from reputable female
seminaryg Sweet Girl-You bet your
neck. Examiner = That is perfectly
satisfactory. Detroit Tribune.
He-I have studied poetry ever since
was mere child. She-But there is
one kind that you are not up on. He
Pray, what is thatP She-The poetry
0G Detroit Free Press.
II never saw man SO happy as
Dicky Billings is over the loss OF his
wife's fortune. "Happy?" "Yes.
Dicky says he is now able to kick about
things at home. Brooklyn Life.
@Dear mel" cried mamma, what is
the baby crying for9" He is mad at
me, mamma" said Mollie. "I was
trying to make him smile with the
glove stretcher. - Harper's Bazar.
Daly-I see that they are advertis-
ing q remedy for shat full feeling
after eating" Galy-But nobody seems
to have discovered one for that full
feeling after drinking N 7. Herald.
Governess-How long is it since
Rome was foundedP" Little Fanny
Rome was founded 2,848 years ago.
Aged grandmother-Dear me, how
time does slip awayi-Pittsburg Dis
patch.
Il think you must have misunder-
Stood" said u hungry man in Har-
lem restaurant to waiter. "How SO,
sire" II ordered fried liver and you
have brought me fried leather. "-Idns-
many Times.
Hungry Higgings Excuse me. mum.
but do you want your refrigerator
cleaned out! Mrs. Wickwire-There
10 nothing in it but few cold vlctuals.
Hungry Higgins Exactly, mum-Is-
dianapolis Jourssal.
How the Rajah of Eversobad and
the Ahkoond of Swat must chafe on
their thrones when they read what a
blooming time the sultan of Johore is
going to have at the Worlds Fair
81. Paul Pioneer Press.
Miss DeStyle-Her is a piece of lace
that bought when / was little girl.
What beautiful color it has, don't
you think SOP Miss Smyth-Yes, il
Is lovely. l always did admire real
old lace.-BostofsB Beacon.
Mrs. Uppercrust-"You 90 abroad
q great deal lately, do you not, Mrs.
NewmonieP" Mrs. Newmonie-"La!
yes, my dear. Why, we're in Paris SO
much lately that call us reg'lar Par
isitesl"-P PittsbDrg Dispatch.
as Sir Robert Paulton q very tiny
man, mammal" inquired little Maud
earnestly. mo, my dear, not very
Why do you ask9" Because father
says he's to sit on your right hand at
dinner tonight. Funny F0iks.
She-When ] told Maud about oul
engagement she said that she really
envied me. He-Certainly; l DOM
wonder. She-Ye es, she said she would
give anything il she could be so easily
suited as was. Indianapolis Journal
The Enamored One-Ah, Dorothy
my darling, all the world loves {
lover. Savage voice (trom top O
stairs) DOROTHY, il that young idia
amt out Of the house in ten second.
I'll come down and throw him OUT
Puck.
II suppose the death of man like
Goldbug caused a good deal OF noise
in this com mmunity." "You can JUS
"a ~ :