The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1893-12-07

when she meets what she supposes 10
be her alter ego, does not stop 10 probe
beneath the surface and bring to light
the mans innate characteristics. This
with her ceases to become n necessity
and she looks only to the dashing man
ners and gay repartee of her polished
sutton. Marriages among this class.
therefore, are often hastily entered into
and repented of at leisure.
The young girl of poor but no less re-
spectacle parents is forced 10 view the
matter in different light. Having lit
tie or no money Of her own, she must
perforce look into the character of the
man into whose keeping she contem
plates committing herself. In such in
stances engagements extending over one,
two or even three years are TO be COM
mended, from the fact that each should
be made character study by the other.
Time alone can enable them to arrive
at genuine results.
One condition which leads TO hasty en-
gagements is the so called love at first
sight" This rarely happens outside
the experiences of very young people
and is usually anything but tribute
TO their wisdom or powers Of discrinli-
nation. A pleasant word, a bow, a
smile-and the heart is lost. Perhaps
after a very short acquaintance the
couple viii become engaged, and this is
quickly followed by marriage. To one
of experience all this seems very absurd
and is the acme of mans and woman IS
foolishness. One hears men so often
say, What a charming girl my wife
was when first met her; but, alas, how
changed she is nowi" And what Is the
reason for this metamorphosisT Simply
that the glamour of infatuation has
worn off, and the natural attributes of
the life are laid bare. This is generally
more apparent in the woman's case, for
the mans outside calling tends to hide
many of his disagreeable proclivities.
Woman's sphere is the home, and If she
shines not there it is useless to look be-
yond.
1 am sorry to say that in most cases
the wife's path is one of retrogression,
while the husband steadily wends his
footsteps forward to progress. The
woman is not to blame for this, for man
has made the condition for her, and oft
times he steadily enforces it until
SNNN -
at length subdued and made willing
subject 1t is possible that if the young
couple had taken time to study each
others character this sad conclusion
might not have been reached. 1t is not
denied that sensible people may form
mutual liking at first sight, but that is
something very different from love.
The women of America, as a rule,
are noted for their practical common
sense. and they take pride in doing what
most conduces to their personal welfare.
The hasty engagement and marriage
are practiced only by the younger men,
bers of society, while to the matured
mind deliberation in such matters is
considered absolutely necessary. 1t
would seem that, from the rapid rate at
which bachelor girls are coming to
the fore, the young men will ere long
have to look to their laurels. With
this new contingent in the field, the
average man will be left but little
choice in his amatory aspirations. In
all probability the coming man will
find himself solitary and alone, while
she whom fate had destined to be his
mate usurps, pro bono publico, the
once dominant place he held.