River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1893-12-14
REUBEN HAD HIM.
Fresh Young Man and q Fancy Breed of
Guinea Pigs.

Guinea Pigs.
81 have just come in from the coun-
try safe the young man with the fall
style derby. .snd | succeeded in max
ing large and juicy fool of myself al.
most every day while | was there.
stayed with an uncle of mine who has
farm sixteen or seventeen miles from
nowhere, and the Reubens got the
laughon me SO many times'that can't
remember the number.
The queerest experience that had,
though, was at one of their county
fairs. They hcld the fair early this
year for some reason or other, and
was on hand to take it in. / went out
to the grounds with a party of young
women who We're visiting in the
neighborhood, and, undismayed by
the failure of my former efforts to
string the rustics. ] started out to have
fun with them as soon as we
struck the grounds. We walked around
for couple of hours, and | was polSing
all manner of fun at the people we met.
Finally we came TO the she'd where the
poultry was on exhibition, and as we
went along looking at the variously-
bred chickens got particularly funny.
At the end of one of the rows of coops
was box with five or six guinea pigs
in t There were quite a number Of
countrymen standing around looking
at the queer little animals.
1--WE walked over and looked at the
pigs. Then l said, loudly: DO you
know that if you pick up guinea pig
by the tail its eyes will drop out?' The
countrymen stared. Fact, continued.
Pick one of them up by the tail and
its eyes will drop right out Most
queerly constructed anatomieally of
any animal known to naturalists. If
these pigs were mine would soon show
you
"A big, strapping fellow who stood
beside the box.said: Stranger, / don't
believe YOU insisted that / was
right, but he stood and doggedly shook
his head, and the rest of the country
men sided with him. Now, a guinea
pig has no tail, and there is where the
joke comes in. / argued for some little
time and then made a grand bluff.
pulled out little roll of bills and Of
fered TO bet the Reuben twenty-five
dollars that just that thing would hap
pen. Imagine my surprise when the
Reuben hauled a greasy old pocket
book out of his jeans and covered the
money. was sure had him, for the
bet was a catch one anyhow, and as
the young women who were with me
were egging me on | couldn't think of
funking.
Understand said. 4 claim that
IL you pick up that guinea pig by its
tail its eyes will drop out
81 understand said the country
man, as he opened a little door in the
side of the box and pulled out guinea
pig. Now, pick this one up and let's
see its eyes drop out
Then I began to laugh. 'Ha, my
friends said, L have played little
trick on you, that's all AS a guinea
pig has no tail, you can't pick one up
by it. If you could do not doubt that
its eyes would drop out
II reached out for my half of the
bet, when the big countryman said:
Hol' on there, mister. You jist look
an see If this here guinea pig hain't
got a tail ] examined il, and may
be switched if it didn't have tail an
inch long. The countryman picked it
up by the little caudal appendage, and,
of course, its eyes didn't drop out.
Then he reached over, grabbed the
wad of money and put it in his pocket,
remarling the while: Il didn't think
when | developed that breed of guineas
that they would ever make that much
for me-
'I'll be blamed If he hadn't been
working for three years to produce
guinea pigs with tails! He had sue
ceeded, and ! was just chump enough
to go up against the only cage of that
kind of animals in the world with my
chestnut about their eyes dropping
out."-Buffalo Press.