Waterbury evening Democrat., 1893-04-22
MISCELLANEOUS.


 Two of a Kind.-''Why is a good play like mustard plaster?'' "Why@ "Because they both draw well after they're put on"
 The Canary's Reply.-'Were you an expensive bird or cheap one?" asked the cage of the canary. And then the canary answered "Cheepr'-Harper's Young People.
 -Shallow-"Why, just read that sign-Dental Parlors' Isn't it absurd to call a dental room a parlor?" Deepe Tt is probably the painters mistake. He meant drawing-room-"
 Two Causes, One Effect-Maud- ''How black your hands arel" Marie Yes. I had no gloves But what makes yours so black2' Maud-'Gloves."- Truth.
 -"Young women folks air never satis- fied," said Uncle Josh. "Here bring Hannah fine roll of silk, n she ain't satisfied. Wants to hev 1t made up into dress right off ff"-Harper's Weekly.
 Mrs Hayseed Hooking at the camels) --'And do they really use these creatures as beasts of burdenP" Keeper-"Why, yes" Mrs. Hayseed-'That's cruelty to animals Just look at the monstrous humps they have to carry already" E An 1nopportune Moment-ofice Boy (to drummer)-''Mister, wouldn't advise you to try to see the boss, now; he's in an awful rage" Drummer-''What's the matter with him?" Office Boy He's trying to put point on his blue lead pencil. Truth.
 A cooking club in Washington was broken up in one year by matri- mony. To the club dinners ordered cooked and served by every member ot the club in turn a man could be asked by every girl The result has been as many weddings as members. If, as Marion Harland says, ''the foundation of happy homes is laid in the kitchen" these marriages should not be failures. The heavy timber and spars which are being used in Tandefjord, Norway, for the construction of the Fram a yes sel to be used for Arctic explorations, was shipped from Puget Sound last February in the Norwegian bark Col lector, and consisted of heavy lumber and spars- The lumber is of the very best quality of fir that could be ob- tained in the state of Washington.
 A minister was residing with farmer near Glasgow, while on visit to that city. In reply to an invitation to eat some fine fruit, he mentioned that he never tasted an apple or any other kind of green fruit The fact evoked considerable surprise; but Scotchma n who had listened with much unconcern, dryly remarked, Its peety but ye had been in Paradise, and there micht ma hal been ony faa."
 New York and Brooklyn are con- trasted in nothing better than in their clubs. The Brooklynite uses his club as an occasional luxury, save in sum- mer time. when the absence of his family gives him the excuse for dining there. 1t is usual with Brooklyn clubs to provide ladies' dining room. and the really loving husband and father likes especially to indulge his wife and daughters in the dissipation of dinner at the club
 Mrs Cleveland's return to the white house reminds a woman of a funny speech she overheard four years ago. It was a day or two after the election. Two men came out of sa- loon as she was passing. But" re- marked one dolefully, Mrs, Cleveland says she won't leave. There was no answer to this. Evidently, in such a contingency, if the lady at the Capitol refused to stir, she might very seriously retard the revolving wheels of govern ment.
 If you happen to see ''R- Whiting ham, New York;" stamped inconspicu- ously upon the brass of an old-fashioned ! colonial, Shenton, or Chippendale and I iron, you may reasonably believe the article to be genuine. hOld directories \ of New York contain the entry: Whit tingham, R., brassfounder. 95 Henry; house, 124 Harman." Whittingham
 fourished in the first two decades of the present century, and perhaps earl:er He made good brass utensils,
 and his andirons are excellent They still turn up occasionally at sales of household effects in old quarters of the | city and some are cherished in fashion able homes as heirlooma
 It has been announced that a num-
 Der of Waldensians, who inhabit the \ mountain tract on the Italian side of the Cottian Alps, propose to come to this country and settle in North Caro- lima Some time ago two delegates were appointed to come to this country and inquire into the prospects for set \ tiers in North Carolina. Their report
 has been fav orable, and It is said that \ 2.u00 Waldensians will leave the region made historic by the heroic endurance of their ancestors and talze up their ' residence in America