davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning call., 1893-02-23
A GEORGIAN ASTONIsHED.
He Didn't Think Speaker Crisp Would
Talk to Reporter.
Washington Post.

A tall, lanky youth from Georgia few
days ago paid his first visit to Washington,
and through the Offices of young friend
reporter on local daily-managed to gain
considerable information concerning the
city and its infinite phases Of life. Being
together in the lobby of the House, the
Georgian suddenly grasDed his news
paper friend by the arm. excaiming in
awed excitement: Look look there
Isn't that Speaker Crisp?" "Yes, that's
the Speaker" replied the reporter. who's
the great man with him" asked the youth
''Oh, that isn't any great man." said the
reporter; "he's a newspaper man, the
same as l am" Whatw shouted
the amazed and Mortified Georgian
do you mean to tell ne Speaker
Crisp stands there talking and laughing
with reporter, just as if he were another
great statesman ?" II certainly do" But
you must be wrong. See, the Speaker has
even placed his hand on his shoulder. just
as if ne were Senator or something of the
kind" "YeS, l see all that" "And yet
you say that man is only reporter
THAT is his position in life, but he Is the
most intimate with Mr.. Crisp of all his
many friends" This last bit of informa
tion seemed to siagger the young man COM
pletely. He gaZed sorrowfully upon the sad
spectacle Of familiarity between the great
man of his State and the unheard-Of news
paper man. and shaking his head sadly
with melancholy impressiYeness, said
And to think that that man down our way
is next to GOdi
The morning call., 1893-02-23
NOTICE TO CREDITORS.


IN THk StPRkME COURT or NEW SOUTH
/ Wales. Probate jurisdiction. In the estate and
effects OF JOHN HARRIS. late OF Shane's PARK,
hear It Marys, in the Colony OF New South Wales,
gentleman. deceased. intestate-
Pursuant to the trust property act or 1867 nottce
is hereby given that all creditors and other persons
having any claims upon or being otherwise inter
esied in the estate OF the above named deceased
(who died at harris Park, near Parramatta In the
Colony Of New South Wales on the twenty second
day OF December. 1891. are hereby required to
send In fun particulars OF their claims TO the PER-
PETUAL TRUSTEE COMPANY, Limited. u and
IA O'Conneil street, Sydney. in the Colony OF New
South Wales, the administrators OF the estate and
day OF June next after which date the said COM
papy viii proceed TO distribute the assets of the
said deceased among the parties entitled thereto
having regard to the Claims OF which they shall
then have notice. and the said company snail not
be liable for the assets any part thereof so dis
tributed to any person OF whose claim they shall
not have had notice at the time OF such distrib0-
ton
Dated this twenty-eight day of December, A. D.
1892
Limited, ARTHUR j. MAChENZlE,
Manager.
Consulate OF the United States OF America, sgd
new New South Wales 18th January. 1898
The estate OF the late JOHN HARRIS is very
valuable one and 1t is believed that parties having
claims upon the same now res iding in the
United States
JOHN HARRIS WAS born at Ballymoyie, county
OF Londonderry, Ireland on The goth OF November,
1870 aud left home when about Is years OF age.
fe9S Of WIN. kAPUS, o. =. Consul
The morning call., 1893-02-23
MANS ORGANISM.
Good Reasons for Calling 1t Fearful
and Wonderful Creation.
Popular Science Monthly

HOpug3r science monthly
In the human body there are about 263
bones. The muscles are about $50 in num-
ber The length of the alimentary canal is
about 80 feet. The amount of blood in an
adult averages 80 pounds, or fully one-fflh
OF the entire weight. The heart is 6 inches in
length and inches ia diameter, and beats
seventy times per minute, 1920 times per
hour, 100. 500 times per day, 50, 1872, 900 times
per year. 1856, 40 600 in three score and
ten, and at each beat 21@ ounces of blood
are thrown out Of it, 175 ounces per min
ute, Csc pounds per hour. seven and three
quarter tons per day. All the blood IN the
body passes through the heart in three
minutes, This little organ, by its cease.
less industry, pumps each day what Is
equal to lifting 122 tons one foot high or one
ton 122 feet high. Tue lungs will contain
about one gallon OF air at their usual de-
gree Of imitation. We breathe on an
average 1900 times per hour, inhale GOO GAL
Ions of air, or q, 900 per day. The aggre-
gate surface of the air cells Of the
lungs exceeds 10000 square inches.
an area nearly equal to the floor of
room twelve feet square. The average
weight Of the brain of an adult male is
pounds and ounces; OF female pounds
and ounces. The nerves are all connected
with it. directly or by the spinal marrow.
These nerves. together with their branches
and minute ramihca lions, probably exceed
100000 In number. forming a body
guard" outnumbering by far the greatest
army ever marshaled! The skin is COM
posed of three layers, and varies from
One-iourth to one-eighth of an inch
in thickness. The atmospheric press
ure being about fourteen pounds to tile
square inch person OF medium size is
subjected to a pressure of 10000 pounds.
Each square inch Of skin contains $500
sweating tubes or perspirat0ry pores, each
of which NAV be likened to little drain
pipe one-fourth of an inch long, making an
aggregate length Of the entire surface of
the body of POI, 166 feet, or a tile ditch for
draining the body almost forty miles long.
Man is maryelously made. He is eager to
investigate the curious and wonderful
works of Omnipotent Wisdom; let him not
wander the wide world around to seek them,
but examine himself.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
PROPOSALS.


PROPOSALS FOR SUBSISTENCE SUPPLIES
L ONCE OF Purchasing aud Depot COmmiSsary o..
SO New Montgomery ST., San Francisco, Cal. Feb
ruary -. 1898. Sealed proposals. in trplcate.
subject TIE usual conditions. Will be receved at
this office ID Ill II O'Clock II. on Friday, February
"a. 1893, at which time and place they Will be
opened In the presence OF bidders for furnishing
and delivery Of the following named subsistence
supplies:
PORK, bacon mackerel, Goldfish, -four. hard bread,
split peas. Tea sugar vinegar, pepper, apples. but
ter cheese. chocolate clans, corn cigars crackers
ham, knives lard. macarOni milk, oysters, peae hes
canned peas pickles Pipe ste ms prunes. sardiaes.
ssuce cranberry and Worcestershire). soaps,
starch (corn and laundry. syrup, thread tobacco.
towels and vermicelli.
Proposals Will not be considered unless accom-
panied by sample OF articles Did for. The Govern
ment reserves the right 10 reject any or all propos-
ais Preference viii be given TO articles OF domestic
production or manufacture. conditions OF quality
price (lncuding in the price of foreign produce
ton manufacture the duty thereoB9 being equal.
Blank proposals and full Information as to the
quality OF supplies, character of packages, etc. VIII
be furnished on application 10 this Office. Enve-
lopes containing proposals should be markrd Pro
posaIs for Subsistence supplies TO be opened Feb
ruarY pa, 1888" and addressed TO the under
signed. Z. a WOODRUFF, Major and c s. U. S.
ARMY. fel4 ] 5 % "a 1T
The morning call., 1893-02-23
A STORMY VOYAGE.
The Thrilling Experience of a Ships
Third Officer.
New Y ork Sun.

New ork Sun.
Thirl Oficer James. BAKER of the steam
ship HuFona Is one of a very limited
number of commercial tars who have
been swept back to their ships after
having been washed overheard. The
Hurona is a big freighter and cattle
carrier from Dundee. and has just spen
nineteen days getting here. On February 4
she ran afoul Of the gale in which the
Pomeranian was nearly wrecked bakers.
assisted by two sailors. was lashing down
spar loOsened by the tumult. He was stand
ing on the funnel amidShips. a great sea
roared aboard over the starboard side.
The sailors saved themselves By clutchng
stanchiOns.
Mr.. bakers was taken unawAres. lie was
half smothered and swept clear over the
port rail. He gave up hope as be rose on
the crest of huge wave that seemed about
TO bear him further from the ship. But the
wave was Of the exceptional kind that re-
curves, and he was shot back until bis hands,
lnstinctively clutchDg al space, grabbed the
port rail OF the Hurona just as She rolled to
leeward.
Some of the sailormen saw him coming,
and they ran TO the rail and hauled him
aboard. The incident was over in half
minute. Sir. bakers came aboard only ten
feet astern Of the spot from which he was
originally projected. He was slightly
bruised and very damp but he resumed
duty Immediately after changing his clothes.
Three days before Mr. bakers marvel
ons experience Seaman William Atchison
OF LeIth, who was on duty forward, WAS
carried over the port rail by monster
wave. He did not come back.
A sea came over the weather bow on Feb
uary and smashed the steam steering gear
Four days later another sea smash ed
both hand wheels. The skipper
rugged jury steering gear with wire
hawsers worked from two cap
STAINS aft. That is the way he steamed into
port yesterday. OF course, the ship waved
somewhat, and in coming up the bay her
wild steering was noticeable. She just missed
grounding near the Southwest spit.
For twelve hours after the wheels were
broken she rolled almost HELPLESS in the
trough OF the seas. All her cattle pens
were carried away. Her engines were
stopped and oil was poured through all the
closet bowls and allowed to drip from bags
0yep he
The morning call., 1893-02-23
Boston's Schools DecIining.

DR.. j. w. Rice, the public school critic
who suggested corrections in the st. Louis
system not long ago, writes in the Forum
this month:
Boston has for many years had rare op-
portunities. so that had the proper progress
sive spirit prevailed its schools might to-day
be in advance of all others in the country.
Judged by their reputation it is not at all
improbable that they were ahead in pre-
v0us years. During the last decade, how
ever, there has been q great educational
revolution in this country, nearly Mi the
good schools now existing having been de-
yeloped within that period. It would ap-
pear as If the Boston schools had during
this time been resting, meanwhile
allowing the progressive schools TO run
ahead of them, leaving them somewhere
near the middle of the list. II the Boston
educators fail TO wake mp soon 1t Is more
than probable that before another decade
has passed they will find thrir schools among
those at the end of the list
odd bachelors and old maids spe'
cialty" is part Of sign displayed before a
matrimonial agency in Kansas City.
The morning call., 1893-02-23

Ia Montgomery ST., , r.
Call and obtain ons of our "Real Esta Rec
or6s." which contains list OF properties for sale
IN all parts OF the city.
IMPROVED PROPERTY.
@f60n NEARLY NEW COTTAGE OF 8
u ! OUU. rooms and bath; bay-windows. brick
foundations, all modern couvenlences; rents $50;
lot 26xlO0; Florida ST., near -4th-st cable.
G55OO 18TH ST. 2,sToRY HOUSE IN
'DOOOV' store. fiat and ball; brick foundations.
S250 gFSTs $50 $40 % al. stone yss: s
tion on Hyde ST; lot 3lx5O
Gt1O0 NICE BAY-wINDow FLAT OF 4
tD IUU. and rooms aad bath. brick founda-
lions stone walks, ETC.. all modern improvements;
lol 15xll7:6 70; Buchanan ST
Sl500 aon. and FATS bss6 es oB b AEP
foundations. stone walks etc lot 27;3x94:3; cor.
on Clay ST.
$4,000 zsToEY BAY wINpow F sEsE
foundations stone walks, etc; part cash 25th ST..
near Howard.
GOnOO VIEW UNSURPASSED: AN ELE-
IrUoOO. CANT S-story bay-wlndow mansion OF
IL rooms and both; brick foundations stone walks.
ali modern improvements electric bells and gas
lighting; speaking tubes; everything complete; lot
26xloo. Buena Vista Park.
$500 st. on aim line escSro road o s51iao
rents 80.
$4,000 S SoSI N sr Seo1 so 2sg sIs
lot 50xSJ.
CrSI00 2 ELEGANT NEW BAY-wINDOw
u w. flats OF 4 and rooms ana bath each;
brick foundations. stone walks, etc; rents $42 90;
lot 25xl00. Path 81. near Dolores; fine view.
$3.50 NEAR sTa AND MI MISSION SIC, SITS; SITS:
good rents; lot 32:3x56.
$1,000. mEsS %. s 1c47s. FLATS AND COT
QOIO0 COTTAGE HOUSE OF ROOMS AND
Ip--OO. lot 31:2x70; Prospect ave.
Sl 800. menSs IN fats brick
rents s67; lot 75xlO0.
G4eE0 LANGToN ST; STORE AND TWO
ctOOU. flats; rents Sl5; lot 25x75.
G9fSO LANGroN ST.; RENTS $50: TWO
IOOOU. fats OF rooms each; lot 25x00.
UNIM PROVED PROPERTY.
$2750-oak ST.: cheap LOT. 25x 90; opp. park.
$35O0-COrner on Carl st-.'27 :6Ty4 Il II.
$llu0-Dame st: 25Xl25; ready for building
$7OOO-Broderick ST.; o0xll2:6; ready TO build
on.
On'y a few lots Ieft-In that beautiful block
bounded by sanchez and Noe. Day and Ihirteth
sis ; street work al done; ready for building on;
on terms to sun purchaser; small cash payments
title perfect; lots 25Xll4,
$2250-Corner on 22d 81; 26.6XlO5; ready to
build Oh.
S36OO-Re duced elegant residence lots on sunny
line of Haigh ST.: 25NlO0: street accepted.
q. II. UNSEEN 4 CO, IA Montgomery ST.
fe2l TuTh
The morning call., 1893-02-23

Visitor - What is the history of that
patient? Heooks so happy.
Warden (of insane asylum)-He is. That
man, madam, succeeded in getting white
vest that fitted him around the neck, and it
made him insane with joy.-Clothier and
FurniSher.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
A Narrow Escape.

well Maud Anderson is widow at last.
BOYS" said Cholie.
Yes" said Chappie. I'm glad she we
iecied me. I'd have been dead man now.
Fawncy p--Truth.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
Tie Cheaper Plan.

Wlfe-Oh. George. the water-pipe is leak
Ing and the water is spelling the new hall
carpet. Go and get plumber. quick!
HuSband-That's all right. my dear, let 1t
go; it's cheaper to get a new carpet.-Har-
ward amDOon
The morning call., 1893-02-23
INVITATIONS TO SMILE.
Too Great a Strain.

Biologists say the cradle Of the deep has
nothing to do with making the bed rock
Texas SlftinCs.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
FINANCIAL.

MONEY LOANED; REASONABLE INTEREST;
w property for sale Room II, Croker bldg ~ 20
CAN FRANCISCO COLLATERAL LOAN BANK,
- 538 kearny ST.. the only corporation that lends
money on diamonds. watches: low Interest," oc4 II
The morning call., 1893-02-23

=, -, 40 nao4N " N-' ~ . :, 10 Vi 4,
property strict speciality and having a personal
kn0wIedEe OF each OF the hundreds OF ranches
offered for sale and exehan 20 In all parts OF the
State: Hearsay. Theory Guesswork; every
description positively reliable; when calling or
writing for catalogue Iso state what Is wanted and
amount or money to invest for have hundreds OF
desirable properties aot described in my large cir
cGar. ja29 SuTh lm
The morning call., 1893-02-23


CMALL FARMS AND CHICKEN RANCHES
- one OF acres. nicely improved right IN town;
nice SHADE trees. $500: another OF acres with
running water 81 500: also s. 8. 10 and II
unimproved, on 10 years credit ID. III. 1WINU
SOnGms CITY. fe2i 6t
gloon 325 ACRES IN NAPA COUNTY;
slN ZOV. good house, excellent water: title per-
feet; don't fail TO investigate. Address j. HAN
sen. Dat Hill, Aapa County. Cal. fel7 9t|
TOR SALE. EXCHANGE AND RENT-RANCH-
j a sizes. kinds and prices; choice locations;
good values- w. j. HENEf, 32S Kesray stfel2 I'm
1aILKMEN-l60 ACRES ADJOINING JERSEY
M farm. ASHTON q GARDINER, All M0ntgom-
cry 81. fel2 l4t
O0O ACRES IN ALFALFA AND 100 ACRES
AOV good fruit land and water right, near rail-
road, Tuiare County. In subdivisions at tow figure:
alfalfa here pays $50 per acre net; worth inyestl-
eating. MARK LANE a Co, Is Post st. leg u
NEW CATALOGUE-SAN JOSE ORCHARD
WOOSTER q ENSIGN. ga Market ST.. ). f. Jas u
CONTRA COSTA COUNTY LAND FOR SALE
~ Send for list. ID. J WEST. MARTINEZ. Cal.29 Inns
II GOVERNMENT Ian DS-PERFECrLY LEVEL.
VI rich SOIL in fine valley, on railroad. in CalifoT-
mia: employment at good wages near by: fuel aud
water plentifu; many settlers and some dne farms
there W. Send cents Tor in rmatton To i. w.
LAKE. Flood building. San Francisco. no20 u
A WEEK s NEWS FoR5 CENTS-THE WEEKLY
~ CALL, In wrapper. ready Tor mailing
The morning call., 1893-02-23
A Genuine Hero

Papa. was Farragut very brave?"
Indeed he was, my son; he once refused
10 tip sleeping-car porter"
ION, see! And that is why they made a
statue of him. "-Brooklyn Life.
The morning call., 1893-02-23

pleased with the game. which they said was
by far the best football contest they had
witnessed in this city
The morning call., 1893-02-23
The Gratitude of Republics.

Tourst-Your people have very greet
regard for your President.
American - Yes, sif-r-r. We pay him
$4,000 a year to name Cabinet, I'LL the
Offices and shape the policy, and then we
Insist upon doing 1t all ourselves. -Puck.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
A Ready Apology.

LADY, don't exactly like the frleze in
this room; it
Landady -Mercy. the heat isn't turned on
full yet.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
CITY REAL ESTATE.

= II. CMbSkN q CO.,
REAL ESTATE AGENTS. RENT COLLECTORS
AND GEM AUCTIONEERS.
Ia Montgomery ST.. s +.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS.

V. LAWRENCE, CARPENTER AND BUILD
u eT, 6l9 Sacramento ct. cabinet work and fitting
Up onices promptly attended; telephone e0vm16 u
The morning call., 1893-02-23
An lusunerab,e objection.

"Barrows' wife is very handsome
woman"
But she has one abominably homely
feature"
"What Is that?'
"Barrows. "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
The morning call., 1893-02-23

Mrs McCordle-It strikes me that it is
awfuly disagreeable for you to talk in your
sleep every night
McCordle-I agree with you, my dear,
but have TO improve my opportunity. you
know -puck
The morning call., 1893-02-23
IMPROVED PROPERTY.

Call and obtain one Of our Real Es state Rec
or6s." which coutsins list OF properties for sale
in all parts of the city.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
DENTISTS.


nR. T. n IGLEHART HAS REMOVED HIS
~ Office to 7l3 Suffer ST. fe2 LIMO
DR KEMP VAN Ee. DENTIST. HAS REMOVED
u TO lOl7 Market St. near sixth. fel I'm
NY AsYLuM.k kEPkK kNOMS ALL DENTAL
n gases are dangerous; by my wonderful secret
local application to the gums teeth may be hled
extracted painesSiy thirteen first prizes for finest
filing, crownwOrk, bridgework and plates. / rec
ommend my dental college that has removed from
117U Market 81. TO i Fifth ST., Market: you
have good dental work done at my college for one
half the price the cheapest dentists charge
those wishing me TO do the work call at my main
once, O'Farrel st. examination At both places
Tree DR. g. w. IEEk- aulbu
Dr. l.. A. TEAGUE. DENTIST, HAS REMOVED
~ to 10 Geary.st opp Chronicle building oel3 tt
CT PER SET; TO PLEASE OK NO CHARGE;
= Ming sli ext SOC. DIX. PERRY. Mason &
COTTON DENTAL ASSOCIATIUN, SU6 MARKET
y st. DIR. CHARLES w. DECKER. IeS
DR. Ii. g. YOUNG-EXTRACTIoN PAINLESS;
~ patchwork, bTide teeth wltho ut plates
especially. 1871 Folk st. myl4 81
NO PAIN-ExIRACTING OF TEETH MADE
~ easy, 50c and 81; artificial teeth from S6; dit
Ing from 81. CROOME Dental Association, 753
Market St. bet Third aud Fourth. apl2 II
CIT SET FOR TEETH: WARRANTED Az
" good as can be made; hliIng 81. DIR. sIMMS
dentist. $50 Market st next Baldwin Theater. oelst
DR.ALUDLUM HILL, l443MARKETsT. NEAR
~ Eleventh: no charge for extracting when piasez
are z1sde; old plates n1sdo over nsui Leess
ZEN - per seL; extracting 60c gas given AZ
DR c. II. WILSON. DENTIsTJ 9as MARK7E
A. st. bet fILLn aud slxth oDn Mason deI3G
The morning call., 1893-02-23

A WEEKS NEWS FoR5 CENTs-THE WEEKLY
A CALL, In wrapper, ready for mailing.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
Healthy for Doctors.
An EquivocaI Compliment.

"What did you think of those two stories
I told at the dinner the other night?"
"Well." replied the candid friend. leach
was admirable In way. One was good and
the other was new" Washington Star.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
COUNTRY REAL ESTATE.


on ing fruit trees, 500 vines: Groom house, barn.
horses cows. chickens. all tools; $2500: must be
sold. PAC. EXCHANGE % Kearny st
The morning call., 1893-02-23

CTATE RIGHTS FOX SALE or sew PRO
A. cess soap mat viii wash anything that can he
wsshed. without shrinking, fading or injury. Ad-
aress soan- boz IL. Cal kranch Ofica fa22 2rs
The morning call., 1893-02-23

CDC0 WANTED A STEADY MAN FOR A
= -OU. half-interes1 in q business that has been
established for TIE past years; the retiring part
.Ie having made small fortune out OF The bust
am INT OF money. Particulars Al 3lS earpy ST,
room = fe2S 3Ts
The morning call., 1893-02-23
More Work for the Janitor.

The janitor of one Of the Portland public
schools coming into the classroom one
day recently saw on the blackboard this
sentence: Find the greatest common
divisor." "Hullo." said he, sis that burned
thing lost again ?''-Kennebec journal.
The morning call., 1893-02-23

GSSOO 18TH ST, 2-SToRY HOUSE IN
,DOCOV. store. fiat and hall; brick foundations,
street accenred. LOT 2nX7h.
The morning call., 1893-02-23

SSESsMENT NOTICE-CRUIKsHANK GOLD
n Mining Company-Locatien OF principal place
OF business. San Francisco California; location OF
works. Los Burr0s district Monterey County. Cal.
NOTICE is hereby given that at a meeting Of the
board of directors bed the 9Th day Of January,
1893, assessment. No 3. or ten ceuts t1O ceHtSl
per share was levied upon the capital OF
the corporation, payable Immediately, in United
States gold CON- the secretary. AT the once Of
the company room q, No. I'll SaDsome street San
francisco. Cal.
Any stock upon which this assessment shall re-
main unpaid on the 10th day OF February, 1893.
VIII be delinquent and advertised for sale at public
suction, aud unless paymeDtis made before Ill be
sod on FRIDAY the sd day OF March. 1893. to
pay the delinquent assessment together with costs
OF advertising and expenses OF sale. BY order OF
the hoard OF directors. j. W. PEW, Secretary.
once Room 8, no. 2l1 SansoIae street san
Erap
The morning call., 1893-02-23

DARTNER WANTED N A FIRST CLASS
1 produce business ~ the leading market OF san
ErncSco; doing business with the hrst-ciagS hotels
ard commanding an extensive select family trade:
wlu clear $50 for each partner. Address z. b.
BOX :. this Office. fs2S u
The morning call., 1893-02-23

Gil OSO RENTS $50 so; stone walks etc,
u L .ZOO. stores aud Hat; business lOca-
tiOn on Hyde ST. lot lx5O
The morning call., 1893-02-23

IMPKONED PROPERTY
Q.fE0n NEARLY NEW COTTAGE OF 9
II OOO. rooms and bath; bay-windows. brick
foundations, all modern couvenlenceS; rents $50;
lot 26xlO0; Florida ST., near z4th-St. cable.
The morning call., 1893-02-23
The ONLY Chance He Had.

ward Lamp0on.
The Only Chance He Had.
Mrs McCordle-It strikes me that it is
awfully disagreeable for you TO talk In your
sleep every night.
McCordle-I agree with you, my dear,
but | have TO improve my opportunity. you
know.-Puck.
An insuperabie Objection.
"Barrows' wife is very handsome
woman"
but she has one abominably homely
feature"
"What Is that"
"Barrows. "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
A Genuine Hero.
Papa. was Farragut very brave"
Indeed he was, my son; he once refused
TO tip a sleeping-car porter"
ION, see! And that is why they made
statue of him. Brooklyn Life.
A Ready Apology.
LADY, don't exactly like the frieze in
this room; it
LandIady Mercy. the heat isn't turned on
full yet.
More Work for the Janitor.
The janitor of one Of the Portland public
schools coming into the classroom one
DAY recently SAW OH TIE OIhCkOOdTu tniS
sentence: Find the greatest common
divsor." "HuIlo." said he, sis that burned
thing lost again ?''-kennebec journal.
Healthy for Doctors.
"Is this neiRhborhood healthy?" asked
the prospective tenant.
Perfectly" said the agent.
ANY opening for young doctor?"
Superb. You'll be kept so busy you
can't rest. "-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Very Thoughtful.
She-As we are to be married in June.
don't YOU think you ought to economic
He-Oh, I've begun already. That very
thought occurred to me this evening as
was coming here. She-What did you do?
He--Passed the candy-store without top
piDg.-New York Weekly.
An Equivocai Compliment.
"What did you think of those two stories
| told at the dinner the other night?"
"Well." replied the candid friend. leach
was admirable In a way. One was good and
the other was new. Washington Star.
The Gratitude of Republics.
Tourist-Your people have a very greet
regard for your President
American - Yes, sif-r-r. We pay him
$4,000 year to name q Cabinet, nj! the
Offices and shape the policy, and then we
Insist upon doing 1t all onIselyes.-Puck.