The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1893-12-22
ing made it clear" replied the burglar.
bowling ~deferentially.

bowling deferentially.
Get out of here Instantly" Van Tas-
sci cried. with a very perceptible quaver
in his voice. How dare you, sir: I'll
call the police at once unless you leave"
"Oh, no. you will not, Mr.. Van Tas-
sci. Pardon me, but at present, don't
you see, | am doing all the calling that
will be done in this vicinity" said Mr..
Jones. st is true that | have commit
ted the almost objectionable sin of be-
ing late at a Christmas dinner, don't you
know, but | am sure you will forgive me.
| also took the liberty. which you are
well bred enough to overlook. of bring
ing several friends with me. We will
not delay the dinner any longer"
AS he concluded Jones whistled twice,
the drawing room and hall doors opened,
and two more burglars, masked and
armed exactly like their leader, stepped
into the dining room.
ALLOW me to present Messrs. Brown
and Jones Smith. brothers and excellent
company. They will lend the brilliance
of their presence to this notable gather
ing, don't you know. and will do ample
justice to your turkey and your wines"
said Jones. "You must have heard of
these young men, who belong to the
famous Bowery family of Joneses, and
whose ancestors have not only been noted
for years. don't you know, as skillful
collectors of silver. gold and diamonds,
but have also been much sought after by
prominent city officials.
AT least two of their heal relatives
have been the principal actors in events
that have been described at great length
in the newspapers, events which, unhap-
PLY, don't you know, resulted in the I'M
timely death of both gentlemen. So
you see that your guests are not ordi-
nary people by any means, don't you
understand, even if your welcome has a
lack of warmth about it hardly appro-
pirate for such a day Of rejoicing and
loving kindness as today"
"Well-well. bah Jover gasped Mr..
Girard.
leave us instantlyT cried Mr.. Van
Tassel. He attempted to rise from his
chair as he spoke, but Jones Smith. who
stood behind him, pressed the cold
muzzle of a revolver to the back of his
head, and he sat down again precipi-
lately.
please donot move, Cornelius, plead
ed Mrs. Van Tassel, beginning to shed
tears, "or these horrid-these gentlemen
will kill you'll"
Yes, Cornelius; please remain in
your chair, for whenever you move like
that l am in mortal terror, don't you
see, lest a revolver somewhere should
go off and hurt you, don't you know"
said T. Brown Jones. For fear, how
ever, that he may be indiscreet, secure
him to this chair" the burglar added, adj
dressing his companions.
"B-bah-bah Jove! Deuced shamew
cried Mr.. Girard.
The two scions of famous Bowery fam
lilies not only obeyed their leaders in
structions, but they also bound Mrs. Van
Tassel, Mr.. and Mrs. Girard and Mr..
and Mrs. Cowles firmly to the chairs in
which they sat. The gentlemen muir
INJURED loudly against this indignity to
their wives, but the cold steel of three
revolvers was an argument that they
were powerless against.
It was in vain that Mr.. Girard pro-
tested, with numerous "Bah Joves," and
finally in despair he vigorously damned
his monocle into his right eye, knowing
that he would soon be unable to adjust
it. The arms and legs Of the men were
securely fastened, but the ladies were
simply bound to their seats by the arms.
The burglars accomplished their task in
as gentle and polite a as possible,
and not n of the captives was really
suffering physically.
There's another member of the noted
Smith family in the house." continued
Mr.. T. Brown Jones, "but I regret to
say that at present he is busily engaged
in sitting on your negro chef, who will
insist upon rolling about and endeavor-
ing to release himself from bondage, and
in keeping an eye, don'tyou see, on your
maid. AS soon, however, as he gets the
chef securely corralled between the legs
of your big refrigerator, don't you know.
he may favor us with his company"
"Well, what do you want?" demanded
Mr.. Van Tassel. "Why don't you take
what we have and get out and allow my
guests to enjoy their dinner"
Il will attend to everything in good
time, Cornelius, but the heavy move
ment in silver, don't you know, cannot
take place yet very well, for the reason
that the silver is all in use. That beau
tiful solid silver soup tureen must be
emptied, for instance, don't you see, and
if hunger is gnawing at your vitals sup
pose we begin operations.
81 see covers are only laid for six, but
that need not embarrass you. My Bow
cry friends will assist you in moving
closer together, so that there will be
room for us at your h~ospitable table
All, that is just the thing. There's room
and to spare. Now the surplus dining
room chairs. Well done. my friends"
AS he gave utterance to these APPROX
ing words, Mr.. T. Brown Jones took his
seat at the head of the table beside MI.
Van Tassel, deposited his revolvers on
one of the lace doilies- snread a nankin