davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
BRIGHT BITS.

II have just been enjoying myself among
the breakers" as the young man said who had
been talking to the kitchen girls.-CleVeland
Plain Dealer.
Professor in Mathematics XX-Do you I'M
derstand the theory of limits. Mr.. Butch?
Mr.. Butch-=No,s sir; [ never play poker
Harvard Lampoon.
Dudely-She said looked like very smart
man.
Miss Paynt-Dear mel. Did she say who
the smart man was?-Harpers Bazaar.
Chappy-I weally believe 1 will study Ian
Miss James How perfectly delightful You
Will commence with English, of course?
Judge.
Caraway-Do you think that Othello had
any right to kill Desdemona?
Latenlghts tSavagelyl -Certalnly, do, Any
woman who sObs in bed ought to be killed.
Truth.
Miss Budd's heart is like volume in
circulating library"
How is that?'
Not to be kept longer than two weeks. ="
Washington News
Mrs. Potts-I will give you something to eat
If you will take this soap and water and give
your face good washing.
Hungry Higgins-Not much, may be purity
hungry, but, thank the Lord, ain t starvin
yet.-Indianapols Journal.
There S another revolution on foot" said
the wife of the South American historian.
"Nou don say SO!' exclaimed the scholar
Il must hurry and get stop watch"
What fOr:'
$50 that 1 can time it. Washington Star
Il saw painting by an old master to-day in
New York, said Mrs SprigginS.
What was his name?' asked Spriggins
Let me See-Remnant. | think Yes. I'm
sure II was Remnant. He was one of the last
of the great painters, believe. Harper S
Bazaar. .st
Son-Father, have come to the conclusion
that 1t would be good thing for me to paddle
my own canoe
Father am delighted to hear it.
Son-Wcl then, let me have money enough
to buy canoe and paddle, so that l II Re in
shape Tor the summer canoe meetS.-Puck.
Il was in a railroad accident once" said
! the man in tho smoker to a group of listeners,
and had both legs and both arms broken"
Did you retain your presence of mind?''
inquired one of the listeners.
| No"
NO? What did you do?
Il retained a lawyer and got $4,000 dam
| ages."-Detrott Free Press.
A criminal whose day of execution had ar
| rived was asked by his jailerif he had any
| last favor to ask. Il have, sir" said the con
| demned man. "and it is very slight favor in
| deed" -..
''Wen if it is really a slight favor, 1 can
grant it. What is it?"
l banker for a few peaches to eat"
/ 'PeacheS' exclaimed the jailer. why, they
won't be ripe for several months vet ."
We'll" said the condemned man, that
doeSn matter-Ill wait !'-Tit-Bits.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
Just to Remember the stvle.

She was seated before long mirror in one
of the largest millinery establishments in
Chicago, says the Tribune of that city. Two
dainty creations of lace, straw and flowers
were balanced on her finger tips. She was
Gravely comparing their merits while the
saleSwOman stood by smiling And so her
dearest friend caught sight of her,
why, Dora you here! Come and help me
to decide. How much did you say this one
WaS?"
only $50 AZ; awfully cheap" cooed the
saleswoman.
II ii try it on"
The young lady turned to the glass her
friend watched her with envious eyes. How
did Flora ever get so much money?
''Lovelyl" cried the saleswoman, as she
turned from the mirror.
Which do you prefer, Dora"'
"They are both very lovely said Dora in
faint, nothing -to-eatsince morning voice.
And quite reasonable, too ~ went on Flora.
Now if / decide to take this one, could l
have that cluster Of flowers moved just a
trihe to the right"
Certainly, nothing easier"
I'm try on the other before deciding"
Dora could bear no more. She fed to the
elevator. How poor and cheap looked the
hat she had put on so proudly an hour ago,
! and she had meant 10 crush Flora with It'll
Two hours later they met on State street.
| Dora glanced at her friends head
You had it sent home, I see, y she said.
! Sent home nothing, goosie; didn { you see
me wink at you? Why, only had 40 cents in
my pocketbook all the time, but my old hat
| Just had to be trimmed over did 1t to gain
| time to fix the style in my head. l can do IT
| beautifully now. Here's sale of imported
| flowers at IL cents bunch; let's go in and
look at them"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
Was a Good Policy Gig.

There was an amusing incident connected
with a recent meeting of the Louisville gen
eral council which escaped the observation of
all save few on the inside and its news
value is, according to the Courier-J Journal. en-
given to gambling in various forms. Clerk
McCleery. in the discharge OF routine duty,
was reading some bills by title, wherein came
the numbers ''13, II, IA, Is, 12" He was pass
ing. with his usual dispatch, to other papers,
when a staid member of the board drawing
paper and pencil, said: Mr.. President
would like to hear that read again" Clerk
McCleery read the numbers once more and
as they rang out the silence became intensi-
fed, and'it could be noticed that other mem
bers were intently making notes presumably
upon important matters which they pro-
posed to bring up during the meet
catch it. Call for another reading, " hoarsely
whispered one member to his neighbor punch
ing him in the short ribs to expedite action
With countenance which would scarcely
maintain busineSSlilKe expression, the coun-
Gilman so appealed to Obeyed the request and
offered some excuse for having failed to grasp
what was embraced in the papers Just pigeon
holed by the clerk of the board. There was
something like tittering when Mr.. McCleery
took a sip of water, cleared his throat and
began to read slowly and in tones which all
must hear the fascinating numbers 1t would
appear that all who wished to were enabled
this time to get them, and in their order. t0nee
more the methodical discharge of council
matters was resumed, but after the adjourn
ment and as the members were filing out into
the hall, one was heard to say to another
say -, here is a half; put that on those
numbers for me in the morning, will you?"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

MEETING-Savannah Soap Works.
SPECIAL NoTICEs-Le Panic Cigars w. G.
Cooper; Want to Borrow 5000; Bids for
Groceries and Supplies
EVERYBODY WEARS NEGLIGEE SHIRTs-B.
Il. Levy & Bro.
HAVE You A STRAW HAT?-Appel & Schaul.
KEHoEs IRON WoRKs-William Kehoe &
Co.
PRoPosALs-To Sink an Artesian Well at
South Atlantic Quarantine
AUCTION SALEs-This Day, j. Mclaughlin
g. Son; Refrigerator Ice Box, Etc, A. K.
Wilson.
SUMNER REsoRTs-The Oakland Heights.
CHEAP COLUMN ADVERTISEMENTS - Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted: For Rent;
For Sale LOST Personal: Miscellaneous
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
The Offices Need overhauline.

The federal Offices in Washington and
other cities need a thorough overhauling.
! There are good reasons for saying that in
I nearly all of them there are incompetent,
/ inefficient and entirely useless en-
/ pIoyes. Secretary Morton, of the agri-
/ cultural department, has dismissed a
/ small army of men and women who were
4 drawing big salaries and who were not
rendering any service of value. Many Of
them had been put on the pay rolls at the
earnest solicitation of congressman and
| had been kept there by them The Har-
rison administration did not apparently
make an effort 10 administer the govern
ment economically.
Secretary Carlisle is trying to rid the
treasury department of those who are in
competent He is meeting with great deal
of opposition. The republican papers are
trying to make it appear that he is violat-
ing the spirit of the civil service law and
is seeking TO make places for democrats.
1t is natural, Of course, that they should
take that position. The truth, however,
is that he is aiming to get the civil service
in such condition that the business of
the government can be conducted econom-
ically.
The purpose of the investigation of the
New York custom house is to get rid of a
large number of employees there who are
alleged to be dissipated, dishonest and en-
tirely unfit to discharge their duties
The investigation has only just begun,
and yet many things have come to light
which show very disorganized and I'M
satisfactory state of affairs. 1t would be
safe to say, probably that the service at the
New York custom house would be vastly
better if one half of those now employed
there were discharged.
An idea of the kind of people en-
ployed in some of the frst-class post
offices is obtained from the statement
made in regard to the postOffice at
Charleston, w. Va. Mrs. John E.
Kenna was appointed mistress of that
office. She is the widow of ex-senator
Kenna. Before taking charge of the
Office she investigated it. She found a
horde of incompetents-blacks and whites
who had no idea of cleanliness nor of
their obligations to the public. They at
tended to their duties when they pleased
and were entirely Indifferent to com
plants of the patrons of the Office.
She appealed to the President to rid the
Office of the whole lot of them. Compe-
tent inspectors were sent to Charleston to
make report upon the Office. Their re-
port confirmed what Mrs Kenna had
said, The result was that an entire
change was made in the force of the
office. The people of Charleston now
have a. better postofice service than for
several years.
Nearly every other Office in the country
should be given a thorough overhauling
Capable and efficient employees should be
retained and the unfit ones should be dis
missed promptly.
The work of improving the civil service
is an important one and should be carried
on vigorously. Not only can a great saw
ing be effected by selecting good men for
the minor, as well as the important,
places, but reforms can be introduced
which would be highly approved by the
DeODle
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
As to An Income Tax.


From the Philadelphia Record CDem).
There is of course. no warrant for the re-
mend a tax on incomes IN his message to con
gresS. No member of the cabinet nor of con-
gress has had a hint of such intention on the
part of the President. The democratic plat
form on which he was elected contains not
syllable in regard to a tax on incomes, and
there has been no change in the condition of
the treasury to bring the question into con
sideraton. Not democratic nor republican
member of congress was elected TO support
such a tax. II is absurd, then, to imagine
that the administration or the majority in
congress. would take the initiative in regard
10 an extraordinary measure of revenue with
out the slightest mandate from the people.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
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MORNING NEWS Savannah, Ga.
Transient acknowledgements other than special
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The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
The Reform of the Tariff.
From the phnndelphia Ledgor nndl.

From the Philadelphia Ledger Qnd)
As Mr.. Cleveland says. free trade is impos-
sible, and SO is anything like free trade or
anything but protective tarih impossible, so
long as the principal part of the country S
revenues must come from the custom house
and while the expenses Of the government are
so enormous. The Ledger does not believe
that President Cleveland, the sincerity of
whose public spirit is unquestionable, will
recommend TO congress such radical changes
less DESTROY the prosperity OF American CAPT
tai ana labor. That he viii ana that no
should recommend to congress sagacious
ana equitable revision OF the often unsnga-
Clous ana .ineQuitablo Mckinley law there is
little reason 10 donbt. But he will we are
convinced, do IL Ia accordance with his own
convictions, uninnucnced ia any manner or
degree by the clamorous demands Of free
traders, or tho enemies OF good public policy
~ hls own party.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
A Critical mime for Central.

1t is believed by those who are the best
informed about the affairs of the Central
railroad that if the opponents of the Hol-
Inns plan of reorganization are defeated in
the injunction suit that is to be heard by
Mr. Justice Jackson at Atlanta tomorrow
the opposition to the plan will cease and
the reorganization of the Central system
will be effected without much further
trouble. If, on the other hand the sale
of the road is enjoined there may be a
change in the receivership and Richmond
Terminal may again control the property.
What the fate of the road will then be it
is impossible to predict with any degree
of certainty.
1t is apparent, therefore, that a critical
time in the litigation of the road has ar
rived, and the decision of Mr.. Justice
Jackson will be awaited with profound
interest. 1t is difficult to see on what
grounds the injunction could be granted
or the removal of Mr. Conner could be
based. 1t does not seem possible to show
that the road is solvent or that Mr..
Corners management has been unwise
and extravagant. These things will have
to be shown if the opponents of the
| Hollins reorganization plan are success
full. On the threshold of the hearing of
the case, therefore, it looks as if defeat
awaited the Richmond Terminal and
| Alexander Brown & Son
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

Miss Mary Stuyvesant Soper of Lodi,
n. J., is travelling a rough and stumpy
road in her "bloomers. " "Bloomers," it
will be borne in mind, are bifurcated
skirts, or big, baggy "pants" like the
Arabian women in magazine pictures
wear, and Miss Soper is trying to make
womankind believe that they constitute
the ideal dress for the nineteenth century
woman. But the boys on the streets
laugh at her when she comes out in the
glory of lilac broadcloth boomers that
reach only midway between knee and
ankle, and that makes her mad. She
could stand criticism, but ridicule makes
her furious. She has had number of
her tormentors arrested. Day before
yesterday seven of them were bagged at
one haul.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The disagreement Of the doctors makes
the public uncertain as to what is truth
in medical matters. Some days ago a
prominent physician was quoted as saying
that 'the greatest danger of a cholera"
epidemic in this country was by flies.
Flies, it was stated would carry the
germs of the disease through the most
rigid quarantine that could be estab-
lished Another prominent physician,
New Yorker, is quoted in the New York
Press as saying that no danger is to be
apprehended from flies. Files" he
says, ''are natural scavengers, and they
are constantly destroying disease germs
of one kind or another. 1t is curious
fact that the year of the greatest cholera
epidemic in this country there was a
marked scarcity of flies, which would go
to show that flies are really protection
against disease. Give US more flies, 1
slym
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The state entomologist of New York
reports that the fruit trees of the state
are seriously infected with plant lice, and
mat disastrous results are threatened.
In New Jersey the fruit crop will not be
above the average, while in Delaware the
peaches will be late and the crop smaller
than last year Thus far Georgia stands
splendid chance of making money on
her fruit this year.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The Louisville and Nashville railroad
for the past four or five years, according
TO rumors from time to time, has been on
the lookout for an opportunity to get CON
troi OF the South Carolina railway sys-
tenn 1t may be that the Louisville and
Nashville means Cuisines" this time. or
1t may be that the perennial rumor has
been revived.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
A Rising. Young Georgian.
From the washington Post dnd1

I
High up in the list Of gifted and rising young
men of Georgia stands Hon. Fleming G. du
Eignon of savannah, who was at the Metro
politan yesterday. He was q member of the
state legislature many terms and finished as
president of the Senate. OF late he has been
devOting more attention to the practice of law
than to politics, but his numerous friends say
he is destined 10 play "A brilliant part ere long
in public life. They have already slated him
as Senator Colquitt's successor, as it is con
coded the latter will not seek reelection
owing to his shattered health.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The -Four Hundred" will be a thing Of
the past after Friday night So viii the
lone Thousand" the number of persons
that Mr. McAllister, ON a second count,
found society to consist of. The mum
Der of invitations to the ball to be given
in New York on Friday night in honor Of
the Infanta Eulalie has been limited to
500, consequently the Five Hundred"
win be applied to society hereafter
Concerning the ball New York letter
says: "The prices of the tickets will be
SIS, and boxes will be 500 extra. Ward
McAllister thinks that in the opening
quadrille the infanta should dance with
Mayor Giroy, unless Gov. Flower at
tends, in which case she should dance
with him The floral decorations for the
bali will be unusually fine"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The Columbia correspondent of the
Charleston News and Courier says the
greater portion of the railroad mileage in
South Carolina is in the hands of the fed
eral courts; that is, under receiverships.
The cause of the troubles of the roads
may, in nearly every instance, he traced
to hostile legislation, yet the dominant
element in South Carolina politics is still
crying out for more laws directed against
corpOrations.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The new summer cars on some of the
electric street railways are decided i'm
provements upon the old ones. If there
is crab at Tybee that thinks he can beat
thecity's rapid transit he should come up
now and try it,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

Secretary OF War Lamont will use
every means in his power TO prevent the
building Of trolley railways through the
Gettysburg battle field committee OF
officers will be appointed 10 superintend
the marking Of the lines OF battle, and
then She secretary viii see thatthe mark
ings are not disturbed by trolley road
builders, u is 10 be hoped that the at
tempt 10 keep yandals out Of tho grounds
win prove successful.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The national encampment of the Ma
tional Farmers Alliance will be held
about the middle of August. 1t has not
been determined whether the meeting
viii be held near Washington, D. c., or at
Mount Gretna, Pa. 1t is almost sure
that the fight in the st. Louis convention
viii be revived at the national encamp-
ment
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The wheelmen of Massachusetts are
making hard fight against proposition
to tax bicycles Those favoring tax on
wheels claim that a wheel costs as much
as an ordinary horse; that it is as much a
luxury as horse and buggy; therefore,
il should bear tax. On the other hand
the wheelmen deny that bicycle is n
luxury. They say it is the poor mans
vehicle; that large majority of the
wheels in use belong TO clerks and other
working people who cannot afford to keep
a horse; that they buy the wheels on
time and use them as substitute for
more eNpensive means of locomotion.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

A Savannahian who has lately been to
Charleston and tasted the soda, and to
Jacksonville and tasted the sulphur, feels
inclined to deliver panegyric upon the
beauty and purity of Savannah water
every time he takes a drink.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
CURRENT COMMENT.
American Welcome to Royalty.

From the Chicago Inter Ocean (Rep).
Secretary Gresham Is a full blooded repre-
sentative American. and he knew how to well
come royal princess. President Cleveland
and Mrs. Cleveland kept strictly to the line
of American precedent yesterday and the
people honor them for it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The Southern League managers would
do well to look after those "home club"
umpires. From the way things have been
going it seems that club playing away
from home has no chance of winning.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The Augusta Herald believes that Con
gresham J. c. c. Black win "be forced"
into the coming senatorial race, and that
he viii be chosen to succeed MIR Col
quit" Can the Tenth district afford to
dispense with the especial services Of a
champion who took her out of such a
tight place last fall} 1t seems that il
would be treating Maj. Black with more
consideration to allow him to enjoy a GER
tainty than to force" him into an uncer-
tainty
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24
The Baker and Undertaken.

Edward s. Cramer in New York Sun.
Within block of houses our town pride,
That fronts upon a growing business street,
Are stores we'll fitted up, ornate and neat
With signs outside desiring buyers to guide.
One store was filled and honored by baker,
With fine show of cake and bread baked
brown;
Next door to him, the fanciest front in
town
Was the fine outfit of an undertaken.
For want of trade, and seeking better clover,
They moved their business both to other
quarters,
For the convenience of sons and daughters,
People who eat, or those whose eating is
over,
On being questioned why they moved away,
The baker said Few persons now lived
there"
The undertaken said with looks of care:
THAT not death had he in many day."
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

The recent unpleasant incident in Dr.
Sunderland's church, in Washington, has
attracted more attention aud comment
than 10 mcrited, because Of the fact that
the minister rebukod was Mr. Cleveland s
pastor 10 New York, while Dr. Sunder-
land is the Presidents pastor in Wash
ingion What DR. Sunderland actually
said would probably have passed UNI
noticed had il been expressed by another
preacher Mr. Cleveland, 10 is said, is
greatly mortified by the occurrence, mas
mpfh az thc Rev Mr. Smith was his
faeai nnd was preaching iu the church Ga
WHICH Mra. Cleveland holds membership.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-05-24

In New York everybody in society and
politics, it appears, is discussing the
dinner recently given by Mrs. Richard
Croker, wife of the Tammany cheftaiu,
to the visiting officers of the French
navy. The society people regard the
dinner as an attempt on the part of Mrs
Croker to take place in society. They
note that Mrs Croker not long ago made
her first, and a successful, social venture,
and further, that she proposes to enter
tain the Princess Eulaie before her re-
turn to Spain. With these things to
form a basis for discussions, the smart
people of New York manage to make
Mrs. Cookers social functions and aspira-
tions quite an interesting topic. The
politicians hardly know what to make of
the Tammany leaders flyer" into the
social whirl.