The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, 1893-09-16
HUMOG OF THE DAY.

The general run of men-After tho
last street car. Philadelphia Record.
The man who falls in lovev very often
dislocatcs his common sense, Puck.
70 make bills is shuman; topay them
these days--is divine. 49, Pittsburg
Bulletin.
Forged noses can always be properly
classed among the gilt-edgsd paper on
bank. Chicago lnter-Ocean.
The most popular bird cI passage
arriving Mt the port OF New York this
month is the gold eagle. baltimore
American.
"rhat, said tho maa who smote y
calamity howler, sis one of the best
financial strokes | ever made. Wash
ington Star.
The photograph OF boy never LOOKS
like him, because no one ever saw n
boy rs clean M he is in Photograph.
-Atchison Globe.
The clerk who attempts to live be-
yond his means will soon be obliged 10
live beyond the reach of his friends. -
Now Orleans Picayune.
"What sort OF n girl is shc?" "Oh.
she is miss with n mission" 'Ah|
"And her mission il seeking man
with mansion. Sketch.
Occasionally YOU will meet man
who seems TO think just ag you do.
What clever ideas he has, and what u
pity he is 80 scarce. -- Blizzard.
Jack the Clipper has been arrested
in New York. The girls whose tresses
he cut will be present Mt his trial To
upbraid him. m.--Galveston News.
Customer You suppose you
can take good picture of me" Pho
stographer shall have 60 answer.
you In the negative, sir. Vogue.
Unmixcd evils rarely occur. The
fact that money has been tight is said
to have resulted in n good deal OF
sober thought. Baltimore American.
II Ia not true that "every man
His price has," M they say
know OF one, an honest man,
Who gives himself away.
Vogue.
A man never looks 80 helpless and
insignificant ns when standing around
a dry goods store waiting for his wife
To get through trading. - Lowell
Courier.
II is very hard to explain the attrac-
tions Of country life To n city man who
has just investigated the voltage OF
black faced bumble-bee. - Baltimore
American.
"And you a-e poor?' eyes, but wo
are happy" "Happy in your pov.
erty?" "Yos, for every one around
us is poorer than ourselves New
York Press.
Miss Antique-"How mean these
newspapers are Here is column
headed Proposals and IT is all about
public improvements and such no1-
sense. The Club.
Mrs. Skidmore (reading) - "Phil-
ippa Fawcett, who won such great dis
tinction ns senior wrangler Mt Oxford,
is still unmarried" Mr.. Skidmore--
.'No wonder Detroit Free Press
Watts 81 can't sec what reason
you have for comparing old man
Gotrox TO sausage" Potts-"Be-
cause his stuff is all that makes him OK
any consequence. "-IndianapolisJour-
nal.
Gaswell--"I'm disgusted with young
Mr.. Van Braam" Dukane--"WhyF"
"He does nothing but firt with tho
girls" "rhen you don't like to see -
A. Ill a1
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Cant you settle this bill to-day,
sir?" asked the tailor of the delinquent
VI. =. "No, Snip, it wouldn't be par
liamentary. I've merely glanced over
il, you know, and can't pass bill
until after its third reading. lid
Bits.
He blushed fiery red; her heart
wept pit-a-pat; she gently hung her
head, aud looked down on the mat.
He trembled in his speech; he rose
from where he sat, and shouted with n
screech, you're sitting on my hat p
Tid-Bits.
80 you only have a weeks vacation
instead Of two, this yearT ''Yes;
they told me / must either give up
half my vacation or lose the situation;
and concluded that half loaf was
much better than no bread. Brook
lyn Life.
"Men are not to be trusted" she re-
marked to her younger and more sue
cessful friend. "Oh, my dear" said
her friend, sweetly, ''has il taken all
these years to teach you that?" The
silence that followed couldn't DO
broken with n sledsehsmmer. De-