Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1893-10-12
Let Us All Laugh.

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pug KnickerbC cker, because he is ad-
dicted to short pants. philadelphia
Record.
WELL DONE The farmer who
falls in with bunco men. -Philadel-
phla Call.
THE girl who had falling out with
her friend will not try the hammock
again. -Picayune
A GREAT many people express opin-
ions that should be sent off by freight,
Galveston News,
The sad sea waves-The hotel
keeper saluting his parting guests. -
Union County Standard.
THERE are some men who have to
De knocked down first and argued
with afterwards. -Atchison Globe.
THE summer girl is generally loaded
tOkill and should be labeled, Charm
ing, but dangerous. steep Brook
Bazaar.
WHEN parliamentary division
ends in free fight both the eyes
and nose are apt to have it.-Lowell
Courier.
The man who "has the pull" at a
picnic is generally the thoughtful
chap who has brought flask,-BOs-
ton Bulletin.
The reason that the geysers at the
National Park leap so high is because
they are composed of spring water
Lowell Courier.
SPEAKING of hollow mockery,
doesn't hungry parrot com pretty
near answering that descriptlou?-
Buffalo Courier
HAS man a perfect organ Of
speech?" ayes" "Has woman, also?"
No; hers is made without stops. y
Harvard LampoOn.
odd tell you that story about
1882" "No, SIR" "Well, I'm afraid
l can't tell you. It's two gross. y
Philadelphia Record.
The man who gets up a rattle fig
ures on a sure thing. At least he
seldom or never takes any chances
himself. Buffalo Courier
DURING the preserving season the
housewife realizes that one essential
Of the occupation is to preserve her
equanimity. Courier.
81 RECKON" said Farmer Bethune,
looking at the Dahomey amazons,
"them's the kind O. soliers AT fight
under kiver. "-Cleveland Plaindealer.
THERE are those who hesitate to
affirm that it represents real mu-
steal progress when hand-organ is
pulled along the street. Philadelphia
Times.
SHE-Will you see papa to-mor-
row? He-Y-yes, if you will give me
a letter of introduction. He never
knows me when he sees me. Detroit
Free Press.
THE malleability of gold is so great
that a sheet of foil, it is said, can be
beaten as thin as the slice of ham in
a Worlds Fair sandwich. Kansas
City Journal.
IT is very hard to plain the at
fractions of country life to city man
who has just investigated the voltage
of a back-faced humble bee. Bali
more American.
IT is interesting to see how sor ry
the man who went to the country for
a vacation and the other man who
stayed at home are for each other. -
Washington Star.
THE owner Of a nobby carriage who
was upset the other day said that he
couldn't agree with the spectators
who complimented him on his hand
some turnout. Lowell Courier.
FoGG does not consider himself
absent-minded, but he did catch him
self the other day before the mirror
taking off his glasses to see how he
looked in them. Boston Transcript
at must have been love match,
for she knew he was poor" "No, he
told her he had only a remnant Of
his fortune left, and she, of course,
thought she'd get bargain. Inter
Ocean.
"WHAT are those tiny chunks of
dough doing in that dish of straw
berries?" he inquired, suspiciOusly.
"Oh, Henry" cried the young wife,
al made them-they're short
cakes. Judge.
"The great trouble Of the times, 4"
said the telegraph editor when lot
of tissue paper copy blew off his
desk, "is that we are being over
whelmed with light literature. -.
Washington Star.
SAID one shopper: "Oh, l saw just
the loveliest, sweetest prettiest baby
minute ago." Said the other shop
per; "What? Do you mean to tell me
that stupid nurse has dared to bring
my little darling out such day as
this?"-RehOboth Herald.
jim SMITH has been trying to sell
his hog this week. He borrowed a
pair of curling-irons and curled the
hogs tail to give him thrifty ap-
pearance, but he got the irons too
hot and singed the hair p city badly,
which was dead give-away. Alba
meta Free Press.
AT one of the transporting thea
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