Sullivan republican. [volume] (Laporte, Pa.) 1883-1896, 1893-03-31
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Dust-proof-A handbook.
In at the death-The heirs.
A dog star-The prize setter.

A dog star-The prize setter.
Tough characters - Hieroglyphics.-
Puck.
The crinoline is coming with a hoop
and a hurrah. Washington Star.
ssNo, Maud. dear, Joan of Arc was
not Noab's wife. Philadelphia Record.
The greatest part of self-willed mans
estate usually goes to the lawyers. s.-Troy
Press.
the newspaper man is the great
writer of the peoples wrougs.-Gslves-
ton News.
The pen enables young man to give
his girl an inkling of his sentiments.-
Texas Siftings.
There is some hope that the fashion
magnates will stave off the hoop-skirts.
Lowell Courier.
To one travelling through the country
milestones are pretty good signs of pro-
gress.-Troy Press.
When you see boy unable to behave
himself you should lend a helping hand.
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Every dog has his day, but the nights
belong to the cats and the clubmen.-
Kate Fields Washington.
"Gee, that was cold snap" as the
bulldog remarked after biting tho Bos.
ton girl.-Philadelphia Record.
An Ohio physician proposes to abate
kissing, but the average young vnan pro-
poses with view to keeping 1t up.
SIT is pretty hard to be showed to the
wall this way" plaintively remarked the
bill to the bill poster. Washington
Star.
The mother who starts to get sleepy
boy out of bed these mornings may be
said to have rousing time of it.-Phila-
delphia Times.
Citticus-'I wonder how it is that SO
few women stutter when they talk2"
Witticus-"They haven't got time.'-
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. New Lee Wed-"You are a fail
ure, John. You've never had any luck"
Mr.. New Lee Wed--"Yes, once; | was
born single. Brooklyn Lite.
aYou needn't assume that am holier
than thou air." growled the Rochefort
to the Schweitzer; Everybody knows
you are not up to my tone. Puck.
"Why did Columbus forgive the mu-
tineersa" asked the teacher. I" Cause
they was half seas over when they
Kicked" said Johnnie.-Broklyn Life.
'pm a Jonah" said the urchin,
With a most expressive wall;
"And see by fathers manner,
Pm about TO meet a whale"
Washington Star.
81 think" murmured the handcuffed
convict, "that 1 must be a poor finan-
cier, for I have more bonds On hand
than can manage. ."-Baltimore Amer.
icau.
The two most exciting periods in
woman's life are when she is listening to
her first proposal aud bidding on bas-
ket of broken crockery at an auction -
Siftings.
"Were you IN perfect health when you
were struck by the street carr" asked
the lawyer. ''No, sir, said the plain
tiff, II was good deal run down.
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
Mrs. Goodkind-"There's only one
trouble about poor Mr.. Careless. He's
generous to a fault" Mr.. Gruff-
"Humphl It's pity that he isn't gen.
erous to his family. Black and White.
In '97. Mistress Ito her maid of all
work)-"Miss Mulloney, the fire is get
ting low; will you be kind enough to go
to my room and bring me three pieces
of coal from my jewel case. ."-Elmira
Gazette.
Making the Best of It "Good morn
ing, Uncle Charles. Did you sleep welli
I'm afraid Jour bed was rather hard aud
uneven; but" .sOh, it was all right,
thanks. l got up now and then during
the night and rested bit, you know"
Punch.
"Could you give me something to eat,
ma amt" humbly asked the tramp in the
suburbs of Boston OF the stern visaged
woman who opened the kitchen door.
"Yes," said the stern visaged woman,
as she energetically closed the door in
his face and locked it with jerk. ~
could. Somerville Journal.
One of the richest specimens of neat
Irish bull was pcrpetrated by the clever
and witty but laundering Irish knight,
Sir Richard Steele, when inviting an
English noblemar to visit him. eff,
sir, said he, s'you ever come within
mile of my house, hope you will stop
there. "-Insurance Economist.