The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1893-08-11
CHAPTER vi.
HE Is TOO HEALTHY.

There, knew you would get into
trouble" said the grocery man to the bad
boy as a policeman came along leading
him by the ear, tho boy having an empty
champagne bottle in one hand and a
black eye. "What has he been doing,
Mr.. Policeman" asked the grocery man
as the policeman halted with the boy in
front Of the store.
swell, was going by house up here
when this kid opened the door with q
quart bottle of champagne, and he cut
the wire and fred the cork at another
boy, and the champagne went all over
the sidewalk, and some Of it went on
me, and I knew there was something
wrong, cause champagne is too expen-
sive to waste that way, and he said he
was running the shebang and if would
bring him here you would say he was all
right. II you say SO, will let him CO."
The grocery man said he had better let
the boy go. as his parents would not like
to have their little pet locked up. So the
policeman let go his ear, and he threw
the empty bottle at a coal wagon, and
after the policeman had brushed the
champagne off his coat and smelled OF
his fingers and started off the grocery
man turned to the boy, who was peeling
cucumber, and said:
"Now, what kind of circus have you
been having, and what do you mean by
destroying wine that way, and where
are your folksy'
"Well, I'll tell you. Ma she has got
the hay fever and has gone to Lake Su-
perior to see if she can't stop sneezing,
and Saturday Pa said he and me would
go out to Oconomowoc and stay over
Sunday and try and recuperate our
health. Pa said it would be good joke
for me not to call him Pa, but to act ~
though was his younger brother, and
we would have real nice time.
81 knowed what he wanted. He Is an
old masher, that's what's the matter with
him, and no was going to play himself
for bachelor. Oh, thunder, got onto
his racket in minute. He was in
troduced to some of the girls, and Satur-
day evening he danced till the cows come
home. At home he is awful 'fraid Of
rheumatic, and he never sweats or sitsin
a draft, but the water just poured off'n
him, and he stood in tho door and let
girl fan him till was afraid he would
freeze, and just as he was telling girl
from Tennessee, who was joking him
about being mold bach, that he was
not sure as he could always hold out q
woman hater il he was to be thrown into
contact with tho charming ladies Of the
sunny south pulled his coat and said:
Pa, how do you s'pose Mas hay fever is
tonight? I'll bet she is just sneezing the
top of her head off, Wall, sir, you just
oughten seen that girl and Pa. Pa looked
at me as .if was a total stranger and
told the porter if that freckled faced
bootbiack belonged around the house he
had better be fired out of the ballroom,
and the girl said the disgustin thing, and
just before they fired me told Pa he
had better look out or he would sweat
through his liver pad.
II went to bed, and Pa staid up till the
lights went out. He was mad when he
went to bed. but he didn't lick me cause
the people in the next room would hear
him, but the next morning he talked to
me. He said might go back home Sun
day night, and he would stay day or
two. He sat around on the veranda all
the afternoon talking with the girls, and
when he would see me coming along he
would look cross. He took girl out
boat riding, and when asked him if
couldn't go along he said he was afraid
would get drowned, and he said if Invent
home there was nothing there too good
for me, and so my chum and me got to
firing bottles of champagne, and he hit
me in the eye with cork, and drove
him out doors and was just going to
shell his earthworks when the police
man collared me. Say, what's good for
q black eye"
Thegrocery man told him his Pa would
cure it when he got home. What do
you think your Pas object was in pass
ing himself off for single man at Oco-
nomowoc," asked the grocery man as he
charged up the cucumber to the boys ia
ther.
"That'swhat beats me. Oh, suppose
he does it for his health, the way they all
do when they go to asummer resort, but
it leaves boy an orphan, don't it, to
have such kitteny parents"