davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
Post Oflce Stamn Pnzzle.

Here is mathematical problem
for the Point Pleasant High School
scholars to puzzle their brains over:
She is a bright mathematical
scholar and pretty, and when she
ratified at the stamp window and
laid down a dollar bill, the hand
some yonng clerk in blue necktie
on the inside was all attention.
"There's a dollar" she said; "give
me four times as many twos as ones
and the rest in threes."
81 beg your pardon he stammer-
ed.
She repeated her request.
Certainly" he said, and began
to lay out the stamps.
He worked at it ten minutes with
out success, she waiting patiently
the meanwhile.
He wasn't busy with any one
else and she didn't seem to mind
watching him calculate, SO she gave
him another five minutes.
Then a customer came in.
"Just keep the dollar she said
sweetly, "and I'll como around in
the morning and get the stamps in
the proper proportions.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
The NM q one Rare oon.


/ Robert Hansborough, of Chilli
cothe. o., is the owner Of the aeighth
wonder of the world, COW that
gives coal black milk. The COW is
a mixture of Jersey and Durham
and was raised on the Hansborough
farm, as was also her mother and
many sisters, none of whom exhib-
tied any popularity in the color of
their milk. Mollie, as this phenom-
email creature is called, has reared
five or six calves, all of which have
lived and grown fat on the black
milk.
The milk produces fair amount
of cream. This cream is a trifie
lighter in color than the milk itself,
and when churned makes kind of
butter that resembles a thick mix
ture of coal tar. Paradoxical as it
may seem, is as palatable as though
of a golden yellow, and it is said to
be highly relished by the whole
Hansborough family.
At first, when the peculiar color
of Mollie's milk was discovered by
the person to whom was allotted the
task of @breaking the COW in" the
family was afraid to use it in any
way. When they saw that the calf
was waxing fat on the liquid tar,
the younger members OF the family
overcame their prejudices, and
within a few days the milk was be-
ing used just the same as if it had
been of the regulation color.
Chemists of Now York, Washing
ton and Richmond have analysed
both the milk and the butter, but
declare that they can detect nothing
that in any way accounts for its
color.-COr. Chicago Mall.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09

Sweet, blue eyed stranger. who has found thy
way
Far DER that vast, unfathomed, unknown sea
Which separates that world OF endless day
From this of shades and unreality,
Dost wall because thou art thyself shade
And hast the shadows portion for thy lot
To live, to chase phantasms till they fade,
And then to die, perchance. and be forgot7
We know. we old ones who have tried this
CLINE
And proved the basOlessness of earthly
things,
That only birth and death are real. What can
time
Yield to us but the solemn bell that rings
The spirits passing7 All, but thou dost smile,
And heaven is in thine eyes and on thy face,
Stainless anil pure, without deceit or guilei
Thou hast not, then, forgot thy native plaCei
Thou bring'st us back to faith. to love, to hope
Thou gfrest us new strength to do, to dare;
Thy little feeble hands that aimless grope
Have power to lead earth's strongest here and
But always upward. Hail. then, blue eyed one
Wen care for, toll for, hope for. pray fol
thee.
And, as a flower unfolds beneath the sun,
LIES mystery unfolding we shall see.
-Somerville Journal
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
rhe cnlf o., enc I..,,rn.

Ne@A-
I'm goin to bitch this ERE young caG ont here
In my front lawn;
He'll stay right here an erw the grass till the
hull thing Is cllhwn;
He'll chaTy that corner OF today until he's ct II
bare:
Tomorrer l win move his stas--. an he.n ehaw
over there.
Looks bad. yer say. to see a cal out In a mans
An blattin like n barnyard onthis stylish boole-
But that air can shah eat that grass antii get
An If he feels IKE blattln. WY. reckon he WIN
blat
Wen fust took my farm out here, this wuz a
country road.
Across the way wuz parstchure Ian, where
huckleberries Growed.
My caf wnz then hitched i'm my yard for the
hull towns inspection,
An NO darn enterprisin dood cum round to
make objection
Wen this road growed a village street, my call
wuz In the yard,
An now the street It sweils 18th style-a city
booIevarl.
But win hitch this ere youngcafr out here in
my front lawn;
He'll stay right here an chaw the grass tin the
hull thing is chawn.
You say the way carry makes the hull city
laff.
WAL, let 'em laugh, this 'ere's my lawn. an this
ere is my caff,
An things hez reached the purtiest pass the
worl' hez ever sawn
Ef an ole duff can't let his caff chaw grass on
his own lawn.
waal, let 'em Ian; this ere youngcaf shall stay
here anyhow,
An If hear 'em Ian too hard I'll trot out the
III hitch 'em both to the same stake right her.
in my front lawn
An let 'cm stay an chaw the grass till the hull
thing is ehawni
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
AM About Girls.

Girls don't have any aim in life
but just to get married. Poohl 1
wouldn't get married for fifty dol
IarsI I'm going to be an author
when l grow up. I'm gathering
the material for my book now. It's
going to be all about how dudes and
such like propose, and the lies they
tell, and what the girl says. I hide
behind the curtains or under the
sofa every time 1 sec one of sisters
fellers begin to look sneaking; 1 can
tell every time. I'm experienced.
Well, the other night laid for
Mr.. Puttihead. He was pretty bad
ly ratified, and when he got about
to the point he muttered and slut
tered and gobbled SO that 1 couldn't
make head nor tail of what he said.
1 forgot myself, and stuck my head
ont from under the sofa:
"Louder, pleased" says L
not catch that last remark"
Well, sir, Puttihead tainted al
sister screamed bloody murder, and
pa rushed in and hauled me out into
the woodshed, and, oh, if he didn't
raise my coat in great shapel
That is all 1 know about girls al
present.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
The Immortal Soul.

Ats dinner given to Victor Huge
in Paris some years ago he delivered
an impromptu address, in which hs
gave expression to his faith in ths
infinite and in the souls immortali,
| ty. His friend, Houssaye, who wa
present, says:
"Hugo at that time was man o
steel, with NO sign of old age about
him but with all agility, the sup
pleness, the ease and grace of hil
best years. He was contradicting
the atheists, and his friend says "hii
face was bright with the heaven.
ly halo, and his eyes shone like
burning Goals. !"
"There are NO occult forces" he
said: "there are only Luminous
forces. Occult forces is chaos; the
luminous force is God. Man is an
infinite little copy of God. This is
glory enough for man. Lam aman,
an invisible atom, drop in the
ocean, grain of sand on the shore.
Little as am, feel the God in me,
because 1 can also bring forth ont
of my chaos. / make books, which
are creations. 1 feel in myself that
future life. am like forest which
has been more than once cut down;
the new shoots are stronger and
liyelier than ever.
am rising, know, toward the
sky.
The sunshine is on my head. The
earth gives me its generous sap, but
heaven lights me withth reflection
of unknown worlds. You say the
soul is nothing but the result OF
bodily powers. Why, then, is my
soul more luminous when my body
powers. begin to fail2 Winter is on
my head, and eternal spring is in
my heart. There 1 breath at this
hour the fragrance of the lilacs, the
violets and the roses as at 20 years
ago. The nearer 1 approach the
end the palmer 1 hear around me
the immortal symphonies of the
words which invite me.
1t is marvellous, yet simple. 1t is
fairy tale, and it is historic. For
half century l have been writing
my thoughts in prose and verse, his
tory, philosophy, drama, romance,
tradition, satire, ode and song.
have tried all, but 1 feel 1 have not
said thousandth part of what is in
me. When 1 go down to the grave
l can say, like many others, have
finished my days work, but I can
not say L have finished my life. Ny
days will begin again the next morn
ing. The tomb ia not blind alley
it is thoroughfare. 1t closes on
the twilight to open on the dawn. :
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
A Badee 81 once.

Sylyanus Cobb, Jr., the author OF
countless tales of romance and ad-
venture, was printer by trade. and
on one occasion especially, his prin.
ter's rule served him good turn.
at 1s years of age he had entered
the navy. where his duties we're ar
duous and monotonous. He was
serving on the sloop of war Fair
field when it was cruising along the
African coast, and one day, desper-
ately tired of his duties. he stood
leaning against a gun, his old COM
posing rule in his hand.
"What's that2' asked an abrupt
voice, and turning with a start
young Cobb saw that the Captain
was watching him.
"It's a printers rule, sir, was the
reply.
care you printer
"That's my profession, sir.'
aDo you know anything about
proofreading2 Could you take a
manuscript and punctuate and ar
range it SO that a printer would
know just how to put it in type2"
81 could once, sir, and think /
have not forgotten"
"what are you doing now2"
81 am on duty here. in charge of
your cabin, sir, and of the ships
time"
"Yes, 1 know. Mr.. Dodd," he
called to the officer of the deck.
"wilI you have this man relieved?
AS soon as you are at liberty" he
added, addressing the young man,
"report to me in my cabin"
The youth did SO and was given a
mass of notes referring to various
voyages and travels in foreign lands
to be sorted and arranged for the
printer. This work occupied him
during the entire voyage. Thus he
had found, thanks to the printers
rule, the easiest berth on board the
ship Youths Companion.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
just what he HAS Teaching For.

One day, as 1 rode along the
banks of the north fork of the Ken
lucky river, / came to a log school
house-an institution usually con-
spicuous by its absence in that sec.
ton. 1t was about 1 o'clock, and
the teacher, a lank strip of humani-
ty in homespun clothes, sat on log
watching a lot of noisy children at
play.
allow are your" 1 said, as
pulled up and the children gathered
around.
"Howdy2" he said as he drove
the children away.
"Are you the school teacher?"
"Yes; L reckon l am"
"What kind of a school have
your"
"only fair to middlin'."
"You haven't much competition2''
"No; eddication amt popular
hereabouts."
"Don't the children like books2"
mot unless to tear tho leaves
outen EN-"
Cant you make them study2"
"I've quit tryin'."
Chow long have you been teach
ing here2"
"This makes the third term"
"And you can't make them
learnP"
"No."
Then what do you teach for2"
"Well, mister, bein' as you're a
stranger in these parts, he said, in
half whisper, "I'm wiIIin' to say
teach for the S27 a month and
board round, and not another dern
thing" and the unambitious peda,
gogue,turned on his heel and went
in after his scholars.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
Weapons of a KIndIy woman. !.

A regard for others feelings and
a gentle though not fuIsome battery
that stimulates rather than initiates,
are the weapons which, when used
by cleve-, kindly woman, make
her power among any set in which
she chooses TO move, though never
for one moment does she give any
evidence that she is aware Of the
influence she wields through the all
conquering scepter Of her own gra-
cious womanhood.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
GEMS IN VERsE.


n e'er I'm doomed the marriage Chain 10 wear
Propitious heaven attend my humble prayeri--
May the dear man I'm destined TO obey
6tf11 kindly govern With q gentle sway:
May his good sense i,roye Tsy best Of thoughts
And with good nature smile ON all M, FAULTS
May every virtne his best friendship kew
And all vice shun him Us hs m ,rtal foe;
May i, too, find possessed ~ the dear youth
The strictest PLANNERS an .dnesrcst truth
Unblemished by his chasac Ter ard fstnes
May his good actions uirrita a good names
I'd have his fortune easy. but not great.
For troubles often on ;l.c wealthy wait,
Nor life so short that could i.eyer spare
A trihing part totiifo away on care.
Be this my fatesif escr Isi:. made y wife.
Or keep me happy In singh life.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09

Business man.-'I'lI buy nothing
more from you. The last suit Of
clothes you sold me shrank terribly
after a single shower of rain. The
coat now doesn't reach as far as the
waist and the trousers are up to my
knees"
Travelling SaIesman.@.Then you
have a first-cIass bicycle suit, and
the best thing you can do is to buy
a wheel. /"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09

There is a land that stretches far away
Through candor5 of unViolated dreams
A land that to the vagrant fancy seems
A paradise Of sempiternal May,
And Il is called Arcadia, they say.
Within its flower fields are quiet streams
And green and cool retreats, and beauty beams
On every side. while pleasure lords the day.
o lovely land, thou lest far away,
Too far indeed for Jagged steps like mine,
Yet have heard returning travellers say
That on thy frontiers they had marked \ sign,
Edgar Saltus
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
Al Poor Jurylnan.

Although judges and lawyers arc
often capital story tellers ON social
occasions, in court it seems to be
generally out of keeping to mingle
fun with grave Judicial matters.
Now and then, however, staid
joke will pop out in the courtroom
and cause merriment.
Some years ago in Lockport, in
the supreme court, one day when
Judge Barker was presiding, one
juryman was absent from his seat,
but the others chairs were occupied.
a dog who strayed into the court
room looking for his master, quietly
jumped into the vacant place, and
made himself comfortable there.
Upon which the judge, addressing
Hon. A. P. Lanning, of-Buffalo, said
gravely:
"You see, Mr.. Lanning, that the
jurymen's seats are now all occupied.
Are you ready to proceed?"
The distinguished pleader raised
his glasses to his eyes, and after q
brief but comprehensive survey of
the jury box, he replied as gravely
as he had been addressed:
"Your honor. that fellow might
do for judge, but 1 should hate to
trust him for a juryman.
The good-natured judge joined
heartily in the merry laugh that fol-
lowed this sally, and proved that he
could take as well as give joke.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
Live as You Ought 70 Liye.

Live as you ought to live-not in secIusion,
Hiding yourself from your friend and your foe,
Shutting your doors against kindly intrusion.
Shutting your eyes to the evils beloY.
Live as you ought to Iive-not in derision,
Scorning your fellows and sighting your
kind,
Only for self making generous provision,
Only to selfish Indulgence inclined.
Live as you ought to live-helping your brother
With kindness or charity, as he has need.
Even the smile that's bestowed on another
In value the whole OF your wealth may sx.
Live as you ought to live, this your endeavor.
To-liye like a Christian-not worshiping pelf
Nor sighting its uses, remembering ever
That he Is the hero who conquers himself
New York Ledger.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
A bushel of corn will make fouI

A busbel of corn will make four
gallons of whiskey. Government
tax on four gallons of whiskey $500.
The whiskey made ripe and old by
the new Strong Boy rapid process
sells rapidly for 81 per gallon, maxi
ing SIG for four gallons. ofthis s16
the farmer gets 25 cents; the gov.
ument gets $500; the railroad gets
= the manufacturer gets 81; the
vender gets s6.15; the user gets tho
devil; while the producer and tax
payer foots the bill.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09

It was Jonah Who first remarked
81 am not in it, " as he surveyed the
whale that had deposited him on
dry land.-LIe.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
A scHooLRooM loYL.

How plainly remember ALI
The desks, deep scored and blackened,
The row OF blaekboards round the wall.
The hum that never slackened,
And framed about my map and chart
AND casts of dusty plaster,
That wisest head and warmest heart,
The kindly old schoolmasteri
see tho sunny corner nook
His blue eyed daughter sat in
A rosy, fair haired girl, who took
With US her French and Latin.
How fongingly watched the hours
For Ollendorf and Cesari
And how fought with Tony Powers
The day he tried to tease herl
And when ono day It took the ..Nextl"
To stay some GaAic slaughter,
Because quite forgot the text
In smiling at his daughter,
And she and were kept till four
To study after closing"
We stopped the clock an hour or more
While he. poor man, was dozing.
And there he sits. with bended head,
Ger some old volume poring
DOR 20 he thinks; II truth be said
He's fast asleep and snoringI,
And where the shaded lamplight plays
Across the cradles rocking
Ny schoolmate OF the olden days
Sits. meudiny baby's stocking.
Charles B. Going in Ladies' Home Journal
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09
Trapped.


The burglar stepped lightly into
the room.
He moved forward in the dark
with pistol in one hand and bot
tie of chloroform in the other. He
was desperate and ready for any
thing.
Especially anything to eat.
Suddenly his foot struck some
thing, and the next second an inde-
Unable body hurled itself upon him.
With a muffied shrek of fear he
dropped his weapons and grappled
with the monster. He fought and
tore, he struck savagely at it in the
dense darkness, but to no purpose.
He was as a child in the awful
grasp of a giant. Only for a mo-
ment the unequal battle waged; then
he sank upon the floor conquered.
They found him the next morn
ling cold and stiff. but they were toe
late. Aud as the head of the house
disentangled the wires of his wifc's
hoopskirt from about the unfortun.
ate burglars neck. he said softly;
ssPoor fellowi Set it again, MariaI''
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1893-05-09

present
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1893-03-18

IS doaiening. An army in defeat over a
stone road could make no greater din.
II you will listen now. you may dis
tinguish all the majors and minors.
There is the screeching OF the swinging
pails the halting and stumbling OF the
feeble, the popping sound OF myriad
pipe pulngs, the sodden salute md sem
tentious rcioindefs Of acquaiuiances. the
shrill Safeguarding Of vixcns; the liquid
tones OF maidcns and chiIdten. the
shutting wheeling Of the old. the almost
barking coughing OF SO many telling
that the term OF the slayish lie Is set.
and IN and through all the pIuful hub
bub Is the sure revelation Of the propul.
sivc force Of dread and fear linked with
the tagging OF weakness and want. out
there lu the dank dark or the misty gray
Of the carly morning, In these sounds u
dreadful story is told. II YOU love
America, you will brood over these
sounds, as I have done, aud fervcnly
pray that our towns and cities are not to
become Ike these, that the few may be-
rich and glad and the many slavish and
sad.
EDGAR L. WAsENAN.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1893-03-18
WakemaD's Wa3deri3Qs.
ODD INCIDENTS or FOREIGN TRAVEL AND
OBSERVATION.

LoNpoY, March 9, 1895 There is al
vays deeply pathetic side to travel,
Doc as ones heart may be from sights
and shadows Many times as you may
h,ye witnessed It, there is a little drama
always performed as the great ocean
steamers leave the port of New York,
vbich brings the mist to your landward
looking eyes.
tfyou are first tripper" It will thrill
SON deeper still. You have perhaps
nondgred what that bronzed faced man
in ei,iien's clothing was doing up there
among the bespangled officers upon the
hrdge. He seems the quietcst fellow
ON board. His eyes are singing out the
,ov Of channel buoys, OF, with a glass
rpidy scanning the lower Jersey shores
ssd the cleaning lines OF the Long
Island sands, or again CHANGING at this
pont or that along the sea horizon. His
Is an anxious face. The lines IN it uu.
consciously picture the human look that
tells Of something lost, or Of great
danger that there may be. ! have seen
men like him stand where he Is with
that same look, and the perspiration
dropping from their faces in streams in
the coolest OF weather.
This man is not the ships captain; but
while he stands there, now and then
Giving q low-,oncd order, he is absolute.
" commander Of the ship. He is a New
York pilot. detailed from the lower
Wall street pilot office to take your ship
TO sea In ordinary cases his fee would
be based upon the ships tonnage. With
The larger ocean steamships a Jumped"
price Is made. He must remain aboard
until Sandy Hook is passed, and MS
much further out as the steamer captain
desires,
II Il bc pleasant weather when you are
abreast Of Sandy Hook, you will notice
row. boat, yawibult, manned by two
men, putting on, from the lighlship
anchored between your steamer and the
Hook This lightship Is simply New
York hatbor pilot.boat, by pilot regula-
tons made to do her turn OF n
months stand" in this unsavory. though
often exciting, birth. Her crew are
pilots 'prentices getting their first les.
sons and experience at pilots duties and
hardships. The boat being rowed
briskly towards your steamer in the
channel is called pilots punt" and
the two oarsmen are knottly built prem.
tice lads OF eighteen or twenty years ol
age. AT the same moment the punt
heads for the steamer. the laiter's
engines slow lown. The punt and the
steamer meet at the point of an eXac,
right.angle. Lines are cast; the punt
made fast to float alongside the
ships port side; and the rope-ladder is
lowered.
Meantime the pilot has resigned his
post on the bridge. The chief officer
Immediately takes his place. Stepping
10 the ohart.room the pilot certihes in
the log-book that the ship has duly
cleared the port OF New York; the ships
commander certiiies to the pilots fee,
which pilotage is paid by the New York