davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
WHEN TO "GRAe A ROOT"

According to an Irish Soldier 1t Is When
a Man Is ''Sure Enough" Drunk.
'sWhat kind of liquor did he drink?''
''Whisky, SORT; nothin' in it." said
the witness. This was before court
martial held at Fort Yuma some time
ago.
'sWhiskyr' exclaimed the astonished
officer. ''For three hours You observed
the prisoner drinking whisky at inter
walls of twelve minutes apart and yet
you have the temerity to say to this
court martial that he did not become
intoXicated?'
''Ah, shure, major, it was suffers
whisky
'sNo levity, STRIP Numbered the major
''Do you know, sir, when a man is in
toxicated?"
GOV coorse Oh do"
''Then, according to your opinion, in
what condition must a man to be con-
sidered intoxicated?''
''Shure, whin he's loaded, sorr.''
''Tut, tut!' testify CALCULATED the
major. ''What I want to know is what
the condition of the man must be, his
balance of mind, his condition as to
usefulness or helplessness, his ability
to walk or talk, his
Private Gum.
depends on what?" excitedly cried
the major.
son what We moight consither bein'
dhrunl1," calmly responded the wit
ness.
''That's exactly what I am laboring
to ascertain said the major, as he
gazed at the ceiling, vainly trying to re-
cover his composure. ''When do you
consider man intoxicated, or full, as
you term it? Give us your unhindered
ideas on the subject
''Faith, Oh will, MAJOR slowly re-
sponded the witness, and after lower
ing his head and stealing a furtive
glance at his chunky" he raised his
eyes and said: GAS Oh obsurved befoor,
major, it dep;nds intoirly on vans own
ideas. For mesi1f Oh don't think a man
can be called downright dhrunk till he
topples over an has to grab a root to
kape from fallin' off the earth"
Had the flagstaff fallen on the mil
itary justice shop it would not have
created more CONSERVATION than this
parting shot fred by Private Gum.
But offended pride soon reeled and tot
tered.
Well-preserved chunks of that laugh
are yet lodged in the crevices of the
plaster-cracked walls of the court room
at old Fort Yuma, and whoever visits
| the post is not permitted to depart
| without learning the origin of the by
gone saying, ''Grab root"
The phrase was adopted as a byword
throughout the garrison, and its popu-
| larity became widespread, but it did
| not save Private Schultz. That warrior
was found guilty and got five and
! ten" which is an abbreviated and IA
| miliar way the boys have of expressing
| the sentence, which reads as follows:
| ''And the court does therefore sentence
| him, Private Schultz, company 3, til
| infantry, to forfeit to the United States
five dollars (s5) of his monthly pay and
| TO be confined at hard labor under
charge of the post guard for the period
| IF ten (1O) DAVIS IN Y Advertiser
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
What Immigration Figures show,

New YORK, May 6.-Chicago may be
pleased to learn that during the month
of April 1O,7s6 alien cabin passengers
arrived at this port. The syndicates
and shipping men say that there is go
ing to be rush to the worlds fair from
Europe In April last year only 5000
alien cabin passengers landed and in
the preceding April 1882. The immi-
grafton statistics of Ellis island for
April show that o.261 Italians landed.
All other nationalities combined did
not come up to these figures There
were $500 German and $40 Irish i'm
mil Mt
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
No Danger OF Fever,

TOPEKA, Kan, May s.-The live
stock sanitary commission was in ses-
sion here, the commissioners discussing
the Texas fever scare. The commission
is convinced that there is no further
danger from Texas cattle. The quar-
antine rules are being strictly enforced
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

ssWERE you ever treated by a physicianln
asked the benevolent lady after she had
listened to Sufferin' Simpkins' tale of sick
said the old fraud; shat was when old Doc
Simmons asked US to take suthin'.' boston
Commercial Bulletin.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
Cavalry Pursuing Bandits.

SAN FRANCISCO, May ct is rumored
that the United States government will
take hand in pursuit of the notorious
bandits. Evans and Sontag. Troop b.
Fourth cavalry, Capt. Parker, has been
ordered to the vicinity of Visalia, where
the outlaws have been repeatedly seen.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
WELL KNOWN IN EUROPE.

EIGHTEEN of the principal presents
given to Bismarck on his birthday are
valued at $4,000.
IsMAIL PASTA, the ex-khedive of
Egypt, is said to be worth Sa5, O0o, 900.
and resides on the shores of the Bos-
phorus in palace of great splendor.
DJEvAD PAsHA, the grand vizier of
Turkey, refuses to keep a harem. He
has but one wife, who, ever since he
married her, many years ago, has pos
sessed his undivided affection.
PRINCESS MARIA, of Parma, is not
pretty, even for royal bride. She has
a long, large countenance,d isfgured by
a very long and substantial nose, and
it is ungallantly said that her face
looks like that of horse.
THE ladies of Dresden have been
holding a riding tournament, the
honors of the joust being won by a
young English girl, Miss Theresa
Brooks Her final exploit was the
driving of a pair OF horses tandem
while riding her own horse at full
speed.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
Coal FamIne Threatened.

CLEVELAND, O., May "a coal fam
inc is threatened in Akron because of
the miners strike It is said that the
manufacturers have less than two
weeks supply, and the dealers, who
were wholly unprepared for the strike,
cannot supply them.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
The Santa Fe Route

is the ideal line for your trip to Chicago
this summer. Thirty-six miles shorter than
any other line between Kansas City and
Chicago. No crossings at grade, fast time,
palatial vestibuled trains, free chair cars,
depot in Chicago in heart of city, rates as
low as anybody and accommodations bet
ter. Any additional information desired
will be furnished upon application to
GEORGE W. HAGENBUCH. ?. q. T. Agen' ,
Santa Fee Route, Kansas City, Mo.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
When Travelling

Whether on pleasure bent, or business, take
on every trip bottle of Syrup of Figs, as
it acts most pleasantly and effectively on
the kidneys, liver and bowels, preventing
levers. headaches and other forms of sick
ness. For sale in 50 cents and 81 bottles by
all leading druggists.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
KANSAS CITIES.
Nearly One Hundred Towns In the State
with Population Exceeding One Thou
sand-Comparative Growth.

Nearly One Hundred Towns in the State
with a Population Exceeding One Thou
sand-Comparative Growth.
Secretary Mohler, of the state board
of agriculture, has made public state
inent of the population of the cities of
Kansas, which is the first population
statement that has been made for more
than a year. The figures given are the
returns of the assessors of 1892 and are
published as the population of the
cities named in the year 1892 Secre-
tary Mothers statement embraces
figures for all cities in the state having
population of 1000 or over, of which
there are now ninety-seven. Kansas
City, Kan, is still the leading city,
having a population of 39.5oo-
gain of 1850 over the year
1890 Topeka is the second city, with
33, 6S5 people-a gain of 1876. Wichita
and Leavenworth are almost tied for
third place. Wichita by this latest re-
port has 20, 92S-a falling off in two years
of 2,572. Leavenworth closely follows
her with 20, eo2-a gain in two years of
524.
The following is the population of all
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

AUNT MALINDA-"Johnnie, what is that
man on the street saying!'' Johnnie-''Can't
-s'No.'' Johnnie -"Well. then it's ba
nanas. Inter Ocean.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

IT doesn't always require big-mouthed
man to make broad OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Plaindealer.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
The Worlds Inn,

There can be no doubt that the Worlds
Inn, - under the management of Mr.Chas- Z.
Leland, (of the noted Leland family of hotel
keepers) is one of the reliable exposition
hotels in Chicago. The appointments are
perfect, the location unequaled. and, in
view of the fact that the building is
absolutely freproof, the rates - 50 per
day for each person, two persons in a
room-are remarkably liberal Scores OF
hotels erected in the Worlds Fair terri
Inn, on the other hand, affords security to
life and property. The location, directly op-
posite the Fair grounds, and in close prox-
unity to steam and street cars, adds to its
attractiveness. Although it contains 500
commodious rooms. it is only three stories
high, an advantage that will be appreciated
at once. Rooms may now be secured by
mail or telegraph to Chas. E. Leland, Man
ager, The Worlds Inn, Goth st. and Madison
Ave, Chicago.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
An Appeal for Assistance.

The man who is charitable to himself will
listen to the mute appeal for assistance
made by his stomach, or his liver, in the
easy sensations in the regions of the gland
that secretes his bile. Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters, my dear sir, or madam-as the case
may be-is what you require. Hasten to
use If you are troubled with heartburn,
wind in the stomach, or Lote that your skin
or the whites of your eyes are taking a sal
low hue
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

DIDN'T UNDERSTAND FIGURES. - Miss
Blanche (parting for months)-''Perhaps ]
Sha again gou Ton abi0R
own the earth" -Judge.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

To HARROW ones feelings is not the most
profitable way of culivating an acquaint-
ance.-Boston Transcript
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

TAKEN as a hole the Mammoth cave is
fully entitled to rank with the wonders OF
the world.-Buffalo Courier
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

MAMMA-sLook at Kittie; she keeps late
hours, and see the rings under her eyes
Daughter-"Yes, but just look at the ones or
her fingers, too."-Inter Ocean.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

BEEcHAM's PILLS quickly cure sick head
ache, weak stomach, impaired digestion
constipation, disordered liver, ETC.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

HALE's Honey of Horehound and Tar re-
lieves whooping cough.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

BRIDGET-ssWhat is the result of casting
bread upon the watersl" Brooks-''In oul
house it returns the second day as pud
ding."-ChristIan at Work.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

THE baId-headed man is blessing in more
ways than one. He never gets his hair cut
on Saturday night-Du Bots Courier.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

ssYoU are not entirely French, are you,
Count Pollyvoo?" 'Oui, madame. I am
French through and through. Why do you
ask?' 81 am certain you have a Roman
ose,,-Harper's Bazar.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

The REASON WHY.-Raz-"Say Jeems,
what do yo' wear dat short coat outside
fo'?" Jeems-''Do yo' s'pose Use gwine to
Smith, Gray & Co.'s Monthly.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11

Mr. d. W. HUGHES, of Mexico, No.,
possesses one of the few patents issued
by the confederate government It
was for breech plug for cannon.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
u. s. Government
Baking Powder Tests.

The report of the analyses of Baking Powders, made
Dept) shows the Royal superior all other powders,
and gives its leavenin strength and the strength of each
of the other of powders tested follows:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
ROYAL, Absolutely Pure,

ROYAL Baking Powder is absolutely pure, and of
greater leavening power than any other powder
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1893-05-11
\ COMPARISON.

According to Secretary Mothers re-
ports the populations of 1890 and 1882
oil
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
WHAT THE MERCURY SAYS.

Hawaii may not be q State in
the Union, but it is putting the
Union in a great state.
What the country demands is
protection in America and the an
nexation of Hawaii.
The Administration is angry be-
cause the Hawaiian queen was
pulled down, but the people are
angry because the American flag
was pulled down.
Since Liliuokalani has been so
efectually fired out it would be but
a poor sort of diplomacy to put her
back again just to buy her out.
Ex-Minister Stevens politely re-
fers to Blount as a ''neophyte in
diplomacy" but blandly suggests
that he is past master in lying.
Kate Field adds to the gaiety of
the season by remarking that she
has nothing to say about Blount's
report of his lone mission to Ha-
waii except that There is an
African proverb to the effect that
whoever travels alone tells lies"
1t is reported from New York
that Liliuokalani has ordered in
that city a number of gorgeous
dresses for herself and the twenty
maids of honor who formerly sur
her throne. 1t would ap-
pear from this that the ex-queen
either expects to be replaced in her
palace or else intends to give a
series of private theatricals.-San
Jose Mercury.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26

means, Of course, great deal TO the
Hawaiian people. II they were ad-
mitted as the District of Columbia,
which has no vote, the natives would
not like it. 1t would be an eyesore to
them. They want suffrage.
Mr.. BLoUNT: Is there any appre-
hension in their minds about the ques-
ton of suffrage?
Mr.. PARKER: Yes; they are very
well posted on that.
Mr.. BLoUNT: Is there any sppre-
hension that the friends of the Pro-
visional Government contemplate any
deprivation of the right of suffrage?
Mr.. PARKER: Yes; it was given
out that the natives could not be
trusted, and it was out in native
papers just as quick as it was in other
papers. There was a howl when they
heard that; when young men, nursed
by Hawaiian women, as they said,
would ever live to work against the
interests of Hawaiian people. said
to the people that we could not expect
to be under monarchical govern
ment all the time; change is bound
to come some day. Every day this
thing becomes more apparent. The
native race is decreasing every year.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
TURN ABOUT Is FAIR PLAY.

Some weeks ago the Government
generously came to the rescue OF 8
steamer which was lying on the
reef at the entrance Of Honolulu
harbor. That steamer was threat
ened with destruction, and the
Hawaiian Government, simply from
desire to promote the interests
of the Canadian Pacific line, paid
$500 to induce the Australia to
hasten her trip to San Francisco in
order TO secure SIS speedily as posi-
bic the necessary machinery to lift
the vessel from the reef. The enter
prise was successful and the vessel
was foated, just in time to save her
from 8 kona which would prob
ably have destroyed her.
The agents of this steamship line
have now an opportunity to show
their gratitude by returning the
compliment. Curiously enough,
the service which they might now
render is exactly that which they
have just received. They have
steamer in port; she is taking in
coal and water for San Francisco ;
she is going to sail in any case
within a few days. The Govern
ment wishes to forward dispatches.
Would it not be graceful thing to
hasten the vessels arrival in San
Francisco by q few days?
We have not heard that the
agents have as yet expressed any
intention to accommodate the Gov
eminent in this way, but they
doubtless intend to do so. The
esteem which the head of the firm
has often expressed for the mem
bers of the Provisional Government
must of course make him very
thankful for the providence which
has given him the opportunity to ex-
press in a substantial way his ap-
probation of past favors. Gratitude /,
is above politics, and turn about is
fair play.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
The REVELATIONS OF TROUsSEAU.

We offer our readers this morn
ing an account of Blount's report,
with q number of extracts from it
which have never before been pub
lished. The report is very rich
reading, as the public will readily
believe after perusing these ex-
tracts. Dr.. Trousseau evidently
rushed into the breach for the
monarchy with a zeal which would
have done him great honor, had it
been enlisted in q decent cause.
His statement is extremely i'm
portant because it completely
clears up the vexed questions
which have been agitated regard
ing the character of Mrs. Dom
inis. The friends of that lady will
be pleased to learn that the doctor
completely exonerates her from
every injurious imputation. We
trust that our friends OF the Star
viii hasten to retract everything
which they have said on this head,
now that they are acquainted with
the views of DR.. Trousseau. The
voice Of the family physician is al
ways one Of authority, and every
one viii admit that in questions
like this DR.. Trousseau in
particular is entitled to give
testimony as an expert. It
would be mere midwinter madness
for the Star to stand out an instant
longer in the face ofsuch evidence.
Down on your knees, gentlemen,
and beg forgiveness.
The case just cited, however.
does not begin to exhaust the gen.
crosby of the gallant French ply
stefan. While he is in the bust
ness he presents Governor Dominis
with an "unimpeachable" charac-
ter. Read this passage:
John Doninis' character was un-
impeachable- John was, TO use a
euphemIzm, rather irregular as a
husbands many husbands in
my experience are. He was fond
of society, sometimes took more
liquor than was good for him, and
occasionally although he never kept
q regular mistressl had some love adj
ventures.
In view of the above citation We
can leave it to our readers to assess
the precise value OF q certificate Of
good moral character from Dr..
Trousseau.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
MORE PITY VERSES.

The New York sun does not con-
tain ell the patriotic poetry. There
Is some good stuff in the hymn
books. This Is good enough for
Dr.. Beckwith to give out in church
next Sunday:
Oppression shall not always reign,
There comes 2 brighter day,
When freedom, burst from every
chain,
Shall have triumphant sway.
Then right shall over might prevail,
And truth, full armed in mail,
The hosts Of tyrant wrong assail,
And hold eternal sway.
What voice shall bid the progress
stay,
OF truth s victorious car?
What arm arrest the growing day,
Or Quench the solar star?
What soul shall dare, tho stout and
strong,
Restore the ancient wrong?
OHf&c1zAgA lily 14EAs iAOAo1Gf
And freedoms morning bar?
The hour Of triumph comes space,
The fated, promised hour
When earth upon r2nsomed race
Her bounteous gifts shall shower.
Ring, Liberty, thy glorious bell,
On high thy banner swell;
Let trump on trump the triumph
swell,
OF Heavens redeeming power.
The brighter day" referred to
above dsEned in Hawaii on the
18th Of January last, and its light
Is still burning. There are q few
individuals who are very willing to
see the ancient wrong" restored,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
Grover to Gresham.

Grover Cleveland is said to have ad-
dressed his secretary of state as follows
the other day: Gresham, thou hast me
much offended, sought thee out among
much fairer men, because | thought
thou hadst the prescience that comes
from the possession OF good sense |
fear me, odd hounds, / have been much
deceived in thee, Gresham. When thou
hadst, because OF thy sublime hatred Of
one b. Harrison, left the Republican
party to its fate and hadst set up a small
select party Of thy own of which thou
vast the sole and only proprietor and
the lone and solitary tenant, and looked
around me and saw none in my own
party to whom dare trust the ponder
Gus portfolio OF state, yearned yearn-
ing yearn for thee. | was an orphan in
my party. Thou vert an exile from
thine, and from our mutual woes came
mutual love and into thy hands thrust
the portfolio OF state while Rome and
the whole Democratic party did howl a
fearful howl theTeat. 1 bore it all for
thee, Gresham, all for thee! What hast
thou borne for me? And how hast thou
rewarded me, Gresham? o, how hast
thou fulfilled the trust have put in thee,
Walter Q? Even now the people of this
Great Republic snarl at me; the PEI pie
of the effete monarchies sheer at me;
the people Of the Pacific coast jeer at me;
the people of the Oriental lands peer at
me with wonder-stricken eyes. o,
Gresham, there is not one so poor to do
me reTerance-no not one-not even
am undone. Saddle me
mine ass that may ride away to obi
won, or better yet-bring hither my
scape goat that l may let him take to
the woods Tennessee Republican.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
A NEW DEPARTURE.
The Hawaiian Gazette Semi

From the date Of January :,
1894. the HAWAIIAN GAZETTE viii
be issued as s SENI-wEEKLY, Its
days Of publication being TUESDAY
and FRIDAY Of each week. Each
issue viii contain eight pages OF
the same size as st present. Our
subscribers viii, therefore, be served
each week with sixteen pages IN
stead of twelve, as now. The sub
scription price will remain the
same-FIvE DOLLARS a YEAR, pay
able always in advance, which is
now the rule with all first class
periodicals. in every country.
While our subscription-list has
been steadily increasing from year
to year, we make this change solely
in the interest Of our patrons, and
70 keep up with the marcn OF In
provement, which demands & more
frequent publication Of passing
events. in which our country
readers are as much interested as
our city readers.
Subscribers in foreign lands viii
also receive the benefit Of this
semi-weekly publication Of the
GAZETTE at the same rate as here
tofore-Six Dollars per annum,
postage paid.
This important change will fur
nish the best evidence that can be
desired Of the popularity and pros
perity Of the HAWAIIAN GAZETTE,
which IS the oldest weekly pub
Eshed in the English Language in
these islands, and now enters on
its 10Th year.
4 HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL Our
READERS.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26

We reproduce this morning,
from the Boston Advertiser, a letter
by Jos. \. White, g prominent New
England manufacturer, who spent
some months in Hawaii just before
the revolution. Mr.. White has
written some very plain words,
which viii help to nail a few more
Of the numerous falsehoods incor-
porated in Mr.. Blount's report.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1893-12-26
FOUGHT ABOUT LTLTUo.
KALANI.
1 Woman Slabs Her Husband
Because Re Was Against
the ex- Queen.

BROOKLYN, N. Y, Dec. 9.-Ani-
mated discussion of the Hawaiian
question led Mrs. Minnie Andrews
of No. 702 Prospect place, to stab
her husband, Thomas F., with a
knife this morning. He had her
arrested, and explained to the com
mitting magistrate that Mrs. An
drews had made the lunge at his
arm because he said that ex-queen
Liliuokalani should not be restored
to her throne.