Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1893-11-16

The Inter Mountains Satire ON the Presi-
dents Thanksgiving Proclamation.

Grapevine Special to the Inter- Mountain.
WASHINGTON, Nov. 3.-Thefollowing
proclamation has been issued:
Whereas, custom has established
the precedent of devoting one day in
each year to the rendition OF thanks
to the Devine Being for his manifold
blessings to the people, for the preser-
walton of our liberties, for bounteous
crops, for remunerative wages to
labor. for the continued operation of
our mills aud workshops and the
st eady production of raw materials,
which under tIe ubiquitous aad I'M
constitutional laws of our enemies,
the Republicans, the national ingenu-
ity and industry have utilized until
we have become the greatest manu-
in the world.
Whereas, the common people of our
land were becoming so prosperous
and happy that they were in a meas
ure independent OF the banking and
money lending interest, which is the
real substance OF the country and
which elected me to the high Office
which | now adorn, and
Whereas, this dangerous pi osperity
We were enjoying vas at the expense
OF thousands of human beings in Eu
rope and China for whose welfare ]
and my party have constantly strug-
gled as long rs their money held out,
going even to the extent of forcing a
panic on our own land that closed up
900 banks, twenty railroads, 2,4OO
factories and workshops, threw 2 ,OOO,.
600 men out of employment, de
stroyed silver and ruined one-half o.
the money and property values of the
country.
Whereas, rs the people voted for a
change last fall and needed an object
lesson, / propose to give them g
change in the proclamation business
as well as in the tariff and finances O
/, the government.
Now, therefore, l, Grover Cleveland
president OF the United States, east o
, Buffalo and north of the Potomac
! decree and set apart the 3Oth day o
November, 1898, as a day upor
, which all secular business shall beIaid
aside and all bankers of New Yorl
: and Boston and all the people OF Eng
D land, France and Germany and also
e China and the Sandwich islands shall
render up thanks to me for the limit
. less benefits l have bestowed upor
! them, in opening up their mines ant
factories and giving them employment
I while | am giving an ''ooject lesson
to my own people, whom / advise
through my chosen organ the New
. York World, to experiment with til,
nutritive qualities of rice and the vir
tues of charity soup. Let our foreigr
friends, for whose welfare the Demo
cratic party was brought into exist
ence, rejoice and offer up thanks tt
G me, first, for my tender regard fol
British manufacturers; second, 70
my opposition to the exclusion of tn,
IChinese who Justly regard me as on,
of their tin gods, all of which / am
third, for my hostility to the annexa
ton of the Sandwich islands; fourth
for my valorous insistence on uncon
ditionai repeal and the passage o
{ laws by my congress for the benefit o
{ the lead miners of Spain and Mexico
and the w~oolgrowers of Australia ant
: South America. In conclusion Icharg'
you TO sing in your churches, instead
of the usual praise-giving songs, tn
following refrain:
Grover, Grover,
e For more years of Grover.
There he is, there he stays;
y Are we not in clover?
u In testimony whereof | have here
:, unto set my hand and seal this Bro
day of November, A. ID. 1898, and o
the alleged independence of the United
States, the 18th.
THE STUFFED PROPHET,
e President of the United States o
4 America,
President of the Golden Club,
and Director of the Bank of England.