The herald., 1893-12-31
IRISH LIFE AND WIT.


brother of the Le Fanu who wrote
such beautifully terrifying ghost stories,
member of the family of Richard
Brineley Sheridan, and a relative by
marriage of Rhoda Brough.on, the
novelist. Such connections ought to
give Mr.. LIE Fanu standing in the lit
erary world. but had he been nobody at
all and without shred of talent to his
name, these stories would have been
the making of his fame as a man who
loves laugh and knows how to raise
one.
The wit of the Irish, yslmsicss
merry, good natured and untrustworthy,
never grows tiresome and it does not
demoralize the intellect as a column of
ordinary jokes does, for it keeps one
slert, ready for the laugh that is sure to
be provoked in the most unexpected
fashion. Mr.. LIE Fanu never spoils his
stories by leaving out the emphasis and
many OF those he tells are full
of the ignorant irreverence of the peas
antry, but they are dull at all, at ali.
Theie are several pages of Irish bulls,
including Sir Richard Steele's sxplana-
tion of why Irishmen made 80 many of
them. II believe" he said, sit ia some
thing in the air of the country; and 1
dare say if an Englishman was born
here he would do the same" Another
is told OF some people who "were living
from hand to mouth like the birds of the
air." In the Fenian times one Irish
man said: "These are terrible times,
Bill" And the answer was: "Bedad,
they are Tom; it's q wondher if we'll
get out of the world alive" An Irish
officer gave orders that he was to bs
20 or nj x - nI4 4nlr
drunk before he went to bed, and hia
comrades shaved him. When he heard
the call in the morning he jumped up,
but looking in the glass, said:
Hang me, il they haven't called the
wrong man." 1t was an Irishman who
said he was sure the man dining at the
next table was old college friend of his
and when asked why he didn't go and
speak to him, explained, Ppm afraid to,
for he lie 80 very shy that he would feel
quite awkward if it wasn't he." A gen.
tleman decided to sell COW because
che kicked go that it was almost impos-
sible to milk her. He sent her to mar
ket by his Irish servant, giving the man
strict orders to tell all about the COW to
any would-be purchaser. The cow sold
for full price, and the master questioned
the servant as to whether he had truth
fully given the cows character. "Bedad
l did. sir He asked me whether she
was good mixer. Bsgorra, sir, says /,
it's what you'd be tired milkin' her!"
After describing the terrible faction
fights OF his younger days, Mr.. LIE Fanu
tells of seeing man with big black
thorn chasing anothsr, giving him q
blow over the head at every chance,
each blow bringing blood. A bystander
explained, "Ah. sure your honor, that's
only his father that is chastising him
for fighting" The remarkable system
of naming that marked these clannish
families is thus told: 'There wac one
Tom Ryan whose son was Tom Tom. bis
son again Tommy Tom Tom, while
Tommy Tom Toms son was Tommy
Tom Toms Tommy"
An Irishman contested with the law
courts was in a state OF anxiety about
an income tax to be levied. "How will
they find out what my income is7" he
questioned. You'll be put on your
oath to declare it, MIR. Ryan" said his
friend. "Oh, will they leave it to nv
oath ?" said Ryan, and walked off
in high glee.
You're a nice fellow, amt you ?"
said the bullying lawyer to- the man on
the witness stand. To which came the
answer, II am a nice fellow, and if
was not on my oath I'd say the same of
you." ssr,f,..,- + 60
The Irish are go determined to please
that they will do it at any sacrifice of
the truth. "It's just four short miles,"
the Iriehman said to the weary traveller,
and afterwards excused himself with:
'Sure. your reverence, [ seen the boy
was tired and / wanted to keep his
courage up. If he knew IL was eight
miles he'd be downhearted entirely"
There is a story of drunken man who
nearly murdered his whole family be-
fore the neighbors disarmed him and
got him to bed, where the parish priest
stood over him and called him "black-
guard" and drunken rutfian." The
man turned his face to the wall and
meekly said: go away, your riverence,
20 away. Pm not in lit state to list ten
to your holy voice."
"Ah, SIR" said little Irish boy, "my
poor father wouldn't have a doctor; he
always used to say he'd like to die
natural DEATH" A friend was trying to
guide an Irishman home. The Irish
man being drunk, constantly crossed
fzom one side of the road to the other.
"Come on, Pat, come on the road is
long" said the friend. II know it is
long," said Pat; "but it isn't the length
of it but the breadth oil it that is killing
me-" Michael Brien wrote thus to
thank Mr.. Le Fanu for sending him
passage money to America:
HoNoRED SIR God bless you for
what you sent me. If gets on I'll send
as much back; if / dies place God I'll
meet you in the Lizzum fields AMI pay
your honor then. But any way you
always have the prayers of your humble
servant. MICHAEL BRIEN.
P. SIS there any one here that ever
done anything to injure or offend you,
that your honor would like anything
done to? I'd like to do something for
your honor before goes, to show how
thankful am.
"Sure, your reverence" said little
peasant girl, ''my father is poacher to
Lord Clare" When George Nv visited
Dublin man in the crowd stretched up
hand and the king gave it hearty
shake. The loyal subject called out:
"Begorra, Ill never wash that hand
again !" A good clergyman was talking
to parishoner: "How terrible sudden
the death of poor Keys was!" "Ahl
your reverence" said the man, ''the
Lord gave that poor man no sort of fair
play !"
In the days Mr.. LIE Fanu writes about
there was much trouble over illicit stills
and when an old still grew full OF holes
and useless an informer would betray its
-I.a. h n ,<,l;ca NJ n,at 4, 20 xr N ii 10