The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1893-10-10
THE OLD SETTLER.

THE OLD SETTLER.
he Hears That the Ratchet Stor,
L. Not True.
''Gran'pop;" said little Peleg one day
didn't you ever hear of George Wash
ington and his little hatchet?"
''Peleg!'' replied the Old Settler
looking sternly at his inquiring grand
son. Early an late, an late an 'arly
I've sot We warnin' ag'in siniwatin'
Do you think that cause Sugar Swan,
want swellin' an Dustin with popu
lation like the ridge is here tina
folks never heerd nothin' there? Dr.
you think that cause the schoolma' M
that usety kotch the. young idees O
Sugar Swamp by. the seat o. the pant.
and the nap OF the neck an churn ZEN
till tina were : blisters on 'em-do "
| think that cause them schoolma'm.
didn't chaw gum an wear their hail
down in their eyes that the young
idee O. Sugar Swamp didn't know
nuthin'? You're siniwatin, Peleg
You're siniwatin' that your poor ole
gran'pap didn't git no furder along il
his eddication than to STAN up ag'i1
the wall an spell b-a ba, k-e-r, kerr
baker, an hol' up his ham to as,
wuther him an Bill Bonutt couldn't
please go out an git pail O. water.
But I kin tell ye, sonny, that the
young idee O. the Sugar Swamp dees'
trio grabbed rarnin in great big
chunks, and the schoolma'm never had
to asst more'n wunst how much two
temstoo was. hadn't orter say nuth.
in more to We cause ye siniwated, but
just to pour Goals O. fire on your head
I'll let We know, b'gosh, that have
heerd O. George Wash'nton an his
little Ratchet, an the opfortinit cherry
tree, an, more'n all that, don't think
durn sight o the hull business,
nuther!"
Don't you, gran'pop?" exclaimed
Peleg. well, do you know that it has
been found out that it amt sop
what hain't SOP" asked the Old
Settler.
why" replied Peleg, "what his
tory says about Washington and the
Ratchet. He didn't cut the cherry
tree down with his Ratchet"
go 'wayw calculated the Old Set
tier. "What did he cut it down with?''
Nothing" said Peleg. "He didn't
cut the cherry tree down at ALL"
"An' George didn't go up to his pop
an say: Father, can't tell lie! I
done it with my lit tie hatchetr"
That's what tho teacher says has
been discovered" said Peleg.
Sonny" said the Old Settler, "th;s
here has added sumpin' like nineteen
or twenty years to your gran'pap's life.
1t has took load often his mind like
liftin' a ffty-pound weight often a
pressin' O. head cheesel That's the only
thing I had ag'in Wash'n'ton. Jist to
think of a man ez liked his little hooter
o the OF stuff in the mornin's like he
did, with tanzy in, mebby: an, man
ez could handle cuss word now an
then without spilin' it, ez the record
said he did when his men want fight
in jist to suit him, an then to hev him
handed down to hist'ry ez sayin' that
he were a chap ez couldn't tell
a lie! Why 1 usety say, If
that's so. George Wasb'n'ton mowt
jist ez we'll not keered fer his morn
in snifter. and he mowt jist ez well a
let his sojers act foolish without chuck
in swear or so at 'em. fer this here
little statement that he can't tell a lie
spiles the hull business. Some things
about We. George, usety say, is great,
but I can't go that little statement
bout lynn! 1t ain natur'.' An so tina
never were 10 Ratchet an no cherry
tree, hey, Peleg? An George Wash'n'-
ton never said he couldn't tell lie! l
allus said he were the greatest man l
ever heerJ on. an now | know it. He
liked his snifter, an he could handle
cussin' when he were mad. an be never
said he couldn't tell lie-which has
allus been a siniwation, Peleg, that
anybody ez could tell a lie were poo.y
fur along on the down-hill side o. the
turnpike! l can hardly wait fer mex
Wash n toms birthday TO come around,
/ want to celebrate 1t SO bad! Peleg,
allus keep your eye on the man that
makes pint O. gettin' a reputation fer
bein' man ez can't tel a lie! Folks
done their best 70 git me mp reputa-
ton like that IN. bat / fit ii and fit an
tot EN- they mustn't
Don't do it, says 'Tain't right
Jist cause don't lie ] says, 'hain't no
sayin' that can't l says
Even up TO this very time folks
often meets me an, shakin' their heads.
says: You an George is ike two peas.
What team you an him would
mader they says That has alius made
inc raadder'n hornet sonny. but now
when they say that to me kin clap en-
on the back an say:
Fight you are. b'gosh. Ne an
George d make that team now.
E.t>hed to T, and sound in hoof an
wi-oc1i'
which gives me chance to reco-
member snmpin' fer re, sonny. It's
about Teller citizen had wunst. who
lived in the Sugar Swamp deest-ic'-
His name was Tugg-Coriander Tu9g.
Now somehow or other he got the name
o bein' man ez couldn't tell the truth.
but it want so ct all Tha never were
a truthfuIler man ever hvcd Ia Sugar
Swamp an don't 'cept myself
cr>hn. 49, r~-sauS~r T,~~ -x-~~>