Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1893-02-04
WIT AND HUMOR.
ALAsi

Fun many ZEN nched from the dealoYo
TIE dark and dismal pawnshops hold with
care;
Full many q stolen watch is placed In hock
"here thrce balls dangle DER the thorough
iare
-southron.
Clothes may not make the man, but
suits make the lawyer. Eimva Ga-
zehe.
"Workin' now, Petepo "Naw. ]
got a job in the city hall. "--Bufdlo
Express.
"Did yon find it very expensive at
the beach?' "Awfully! Even the tide
was high."--Harper's Bazar.
Jagson says there are lots of men
who start for heaven too late TO get
past quarantine.--EmtrG Ga=ette.
He am altogether unworthy of
you, darling?' She (tenderly) That
Is what papa says" - Detr0h Free
Press.
The man who is stuck on himself Is
one who backed his Judgment and bet
on the wrong man. n.--NeW Orleans Pea
yune.
Chappie Excuse me IL have been
thoughtless.' Maud Certainly; I'm
not given TO exacting impossibilities.
~ \. Hsraid.
A sufferer from severe cough says
that his complaint has one Of the mod
ern provcmeuts--a pneumatic tire.
--LoWeH Courier.
Forrester-"How time does fy."
Lancastcr-"I don't blame it. Think
how many people there are trying to
kill it. - Brookiya LIFE.
EGnt--"Why does young Dumley
SxaSE~ wear that big macintosh"
Fogg "He doesn't know enough to 90
IN when it rains. "TRIP.
Somerby says that lately he prayed
all night on his knees. This is ever go
much better than preying on his fell
low-men.--Phttadetphia Times.
Il hope you will like my friend" he
said. "He is very versatile fellow"
Il know / shall" she replied. Il
simply adore poets. IN T. Herald.
Tracker-"De Brides horses never
win, do they?" Upper - Never .
Then how does he make so much
money!" bets agin EN-. ~. y
Hcctiy.
Named your boy John after your
self, Mr.. Barrows?" NO, Mrs. Tom
son. We have named him James
after a prolonged family w.'-Har-
pcr's Bdzdr.
II the seaside and the fancy dress
ball seasons should happen to come at
the same time there would be nothing
left of a fashionable dress save the belt.
--GdiUeSt0H NeiCS.
do you think it is a symptom Of in
sanity for n man 10 talk to himself?'
Not necessarily. 1t may b, merely O
gOod-natured toleration Of poor So
ciety".- Wash.ngt0a Star.
"Timmins is one Of the most dis
agreeable fellows TO play poker with
ever met Why? Does he always
grumble when he loses?' HE never
loses. ."-IHdtaHapoi,S JourHai.
Husband (going on hun)--I
know I'll miss you when I'm away,
dearest" Wife "Of course you will.
lou always miss thing when you
are of hunting. "-BSoottyA Lite.
First Sportsman (as the partridge
dies off)--"Just my luck; miss fire
every time Second Ditto-"Don't
despair; you may have better luck
in another world. - Boston Transcript.
Watts-@Do you believe there really
are any suicide clubs?" Potts
g. a a 1xa - .
OF vegetarian boarding-house' not
long ago, though. ."-I indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Mrs, Fifty (who thinks she appears
>yonthfuD You may be surprised tC
hear thot that tall young man is my
sou" AIR. Gauch--"Yes, indeed,
thought he was your grandson.
/ Lit,'.
The Old Friend-"I hear you are en-
gagged, Fanny. Can it be possible yor
are going to marry that young Fiddle
back?" The Heiress-"O, no. He
asked me as favor to become en-
gagged 10 him for a few weeks to helI
OUT his credit. t."--LVe.
Little Girl-"Papa. what's in those
bottles?7 Papa - That's the bait.
Little Girl-"Well, don't they have
trouble 10 keep the bait on their
hooks?" Papa-"No; the trouble is ia
keep their hooks off the bait. SmiLh,
Griy d co.'s Monthly.
Mary Vassar SO, Uncle Fred,
had such q lovely time three years
ago. Four other girls and myself took
a tramp through the Adirondacks.
Uncle Fred---"O--ah, but really, Mary,
do YOU think the tramp had good
time" ?"--Bosto,s Budget.
Merchant Prince" Miss johnson,
will YOU kindly try and collect the
bill?7 New Clerk-"Parlon me. sir,
but must decline Merchant Prince
-~On what grounds, may ask?" New
Clerk-"Because woman's work il
never dun. Detroit Tribune.
Sue Deering-" afraid papa was
angry when YOU asked him for me,
WASH he Jack. love?' Jack Hilow-
~Not at all. He asked il l knew any
more respectable young men who
would likely to marry your live Sis
tiers If properly coaxed.' - Harper's
Bd.Gr.
as there drug store near here7"
asked tllS man who was being shaved
of the barber. "One in the next block.
Why?' "Send the boy out for q
nickle's worth of vitriol. NV face is a
little tender to-day, and don't want
TO use your regular bay rum. "-Bn6a-
10 Express.
Mrs. New Lncro-"Susette. friend
of mine informed me that last Wednes-
day evening ut abou. o'clock she met
you walking in the park with my hns.
band. Is this truc?" Susette Gndig-
-<xntry) -"Non. madame. Eet is not
tyae; it was Jursday evening about 10
O'clock. - Brook.ya Life.
Policeman--Mr. Smartis. l have
some bad news for you. Your store
w:ss h"rglarized last night. and the
thieves carried off everything" Mr..
Smartie--"Is that so? But amt I
lucky? IL was only Yesterday that |
marked down my goods 25 per cent"
--B0stoa Irdnscript