The Roanoke times. [volume] (Roanoke, Va.) 1890-1895, 1893-02-22


these several and distinct propositions:
]. Mr.. MacTrcgor was outraged lest
the Turner's should think that his wife
was wearing borrowed tinery.
Macgregor is Il proud and sensitive
man.
9. Mrs. Thimblc was distressed lest
the Turner's should discover the impo-
sition she practiccd upon them last
simmer.
3. Mrs. MacGrcgor was fearful that
society would unjustly condemn her
husband for letting her borrow her Sis
tcr's clothes.
q. l was mortified lest my part in the
crime should be maGnificd unduly.
We had numerous councils of war. I
heartily wished that coufoundcd rcd
gown ut the bottom of the sea, but it
was not mine and could not do with
it as l pleased. That confounded rcd
gown had cost "muclllc," as Macgregor
said, and it had to be worn out If we
had bought it of the Macgrcgors the
trouble would not he rcmcdicd, for the
Turner's would still think quccrlv of
the Macgrcgors No; the rcd gown had
come TO stay. 1t doomed up like Il fort
ress in our pathway to happiness
Meanwhile Satan clluclllcd in demoniac
glcc. As for myself. l have been, oh!
so very miserable. l have never been
a particularly proud man; neither my
nature nor my profession has served to
promote Il spirit of pride within me-
Yet here l find myself ncglccting the
volume on "Insectivorous Articula-
TONS" which l have agreed to have
ready for the printer in March, and am
hnuntpI Inv f0plinrc IF H..
and night, simply because l am unwill-
ing that folk should think me SO brutal
Il husband as to compel Mrs Thimblc
to get her clothes from the ncighbors.
Meanwhile the complication gets all
the more tangled up. The Macgrcgors
arc being invited out 4 great deal, and,
as luck insists upon having it, the
Turner's arc everywhere, too-at par
ties, receptions, balls, dinners, thea
ters-yca, though Adelaide Lucy Mae
gregor were to take the wings of the
morning and fly to the uttcrmost parts
of the earth, 10! the Turner's would be
there, too, providing always Adelaide
Lucy Macgrcgor was wearing that
hateful, that ominous rcd gown.
On one occasion, Mrs. Turner, de-
ceivcd by that abominablc gown, has
addressed Mrs. Macgregor rs Mrs.
Thimblc, only to be acquainted of her
mistake by Il naughty answer and Il
freezing, whitening glance.
MacgreEor, naturally proud and sem
sitivc has fallen into n kind Of mono
mania that distrcsscs us all sorely. 1t
is his fancy that wherever he goes pco-
pic are pointing the finger of scorn at
him and are haunting him with the cry:
There goes the husband of the woman
who wears her sisters red gown.'
MacgrcGor's magnificent Caledonian
physique is sure to break under this
strain; it is only Il question of time
AIRS Thimble has given up society
altogether; if you did not sec her at the
bazaar last month. or at Swartouts
dinner last Thursday, or at the Withcr-
spoons reception last Tuesday, it was
because remorse over that abominable
red gown has imuured her sorrowinr
prisoner within the walls of our blighted
home
AS for myself, I am, as have already
confessed, fast approaching the hope
less condition of Il total wreck Only
an hour ago / made up my mind to
take a manly, heroic stand against Sa-
tan, who, l repeat, is at the bottom of all
this mischief. I was seeking to follow
the intricacies and convolutions of
Pettits logarithm 80, and was about to
prove the cube OF the hypothenuse of
an isoscelcs triangle squared by the
parallax, when suddenly realization
of my shames as an abcttor of the fraud
attempted by that everlasting red gown
entered and filled my mind to the utter
nf
thought. Then, goadcd by this hid
cous wrath, arose and cried aloud: Il
willcndurc this 10 longer Like Luther
OF old, | Will hurl my inkstand ut the
foul ficnd that has dcvised and wrought
all this wrctchedness! l will make Il
full and explicit confession of the
truth. and will send it to the Turner's
in order that they, and if needs be all
the world, shall know how pcnitcnt
am"
When the Macgregors come over to-
night / shall read them what have
written. Then, if Mrs. Thimblc and
they approve what I have said, this
confession shall be signed in the man
ncr OF round-rObin, for truly we have
all sinncd alike and our penitcnce
should be expressed in a common utter
ance. fear that, at the last moment,
Mrs. Thimble, who is as proud as she
is beautiful, will dcmur, and in that
event shall tell her that what have
written is not so much confession of
as warning against the sinful, blight
| ing sweets of Il borrow cd red gown. -
Eugene Field, in Chicago News Record.
Jedge Waxem's Proverbs
When mans patriotism gifts to be