The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1893-02-01
Chinny Chaf.

Ii it rained porridge the thrlttless
would have no spoon.-Sppkgeon.
Millionaires amt SO bad till they
git to buyin' offises.-Judge IVaren'.
In the hand of an inexperienced
person a pen is more dangerous than
gun.
The good man says about him
self must go for what it is WORTH
". o. Picayune.
No man has ever found safer
guide-rope than his mothers apron
string. Galveston News.
When you have done good thing
we beg you not to spoil it by telling
everybody about it,
A mugwump is an animal that can
eat out of both stacks of hay at the
same time.-Atlanta Constitution.
Mr.. Hownow-Miss Passee, what
is your opinion of the coming man?
Miss Passee-That he is very, very
slow.-IVhat's Odd.
"Do you keep diaryw was asked
of little Tommy. "No, ma'am," was
the reply; "only keep one cow
Pittsburg Dispatch.
1t is not genteel to call a man a
liar, but you may say that he is much
given to an artificial recollection of
misleading statistics.-T'eras Siftings.
Little Nellie had been quiet for a
good while. "What's the matter9"
asked her mother. "I's unhappy"
"Unhappy7" "Yes'm." "Why" "I
tan't fink of any question to ask
Washington Star.
| His Mother-Willie, you will wear
the life out of me! Why can't you
be a good little boy like Harry
Glasspy7 Willie-I 'xpect he's been
brung up good deal better'n I've
been.-Chicago Tribune.
Very Exclusive-First City Child
-"Where did your folks go las
summer9" Second City Child-"To
Frog Hollow" "I never heard of
that place." "I s'pose not. It's very
exclusive" "Is it5' lawfully. There
wasn't anybody there but us. Good
NeWs.
A little girl who mastered her
catechism confessed herself disap,
pointed, Because" she said, "though
/ obey the fifth commandment, and
honor my papa and mamma, yet my
days are not a bit longer in the
land, for l am put to bed at Z
O'Clock" ."-Eachange.
A Great Mans Son-"Paw," said
little Tommy Figg, on being scold,
ed, 81 heard Mr.. Watts say that
great mems sons never did any good
l amt great mans son, am II" UE
to late hour Mr.. Figg's mind had
not framed sufficiently diplomatic
answer.-N. Y. Recorder.
Teacher: "John, suppose I were
to shoot at tree with five birds or
it, and kill three, how many would
be left?" John: "Three, sir" Teach
er: "No, two would be left, you ig
noramus." John: "No, there wouldn't
though-three shot would be left
and the other two would be fied
away"
Reason for Self-Praise Ethel
Oh, Aunt Mary, Professor Staccatt
, thinks l am the incest girl in the
! class. Aunt Mary-Ethel, dear
{ there is text in the Bible that says
: 'Let another man praise thee, anC
not thy own lips" Ethel upon re
: flectiop)-I have let him this long
: while, and he hasn't done it.
, In little Irish school among the
mountains an old schoolmaster KEEP
!; his boys grinding steadily at thei
| tasks, but gave them permission t.
nibble at the contents of their lunch
; baskets sometimes as they worked
One day while the master was in
structing class he noticed that on'
!, of the pupils was paying more atten
ton to piece of apple-pie than t.
: the master. "Arrah there" said tn
;, master; "Jack Bates, be listenin' t,
the lesson, will ye7" "Tm listenin
y SIR" said the boy. "Listenin', is it2
!, exclaimed the master, "then it,
listenin' wild one ear ye are, ant
, atm poi wild the other."-N. 4
Weekly Herald.