Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1893-02-24
PITH AND POINT.

Perhaps it was the bearded lady who
said "S1y face is my tune."-Wash.
ington Star.
"That is growing evil" remarked
Huntingdon, as the taty next door be.
gan to howl.-Truth.
The ocnlist and the dentist arc always
ready to furnish an eye for an eye and a
tooth for n tooth.-Trutn.
A thief is generally distant in his man,
mer if he suspects an officer is after him
-Binghamton Republican.
1t is quite possible for folks to shine
intellectually without being light.
Observation-Disclosures Times
"rappear to have my wits about NO."
said the comic editor, as his contrlbu-
tors flocked in upon kim.-Truth.
History may repeat itself, but the
student who is struggling with. an ex,
animation can't hear it.-Elmira Gazette.
The comet can't expect to be well re.
ceived by the earth when there is such
shocking tail going round about it,
Chicago Inter-Ocean. .H
Commercial travellers support two>
thirds of the country hotels, to say moth
ing Of instructing the proprietors how to
manage them. Hotel Mail.
: Mrs. Cupso;-"You ought to have
seen Willie Whiffets tear up the street"
Cunso-'sI think he ought to .bc made
to put it down again. Judge. ~
Weary WatlSins-"I ye got SIGH; pain
in me stummick." Hungry Higgins
you're in luck. hain't even got that
in mine. Indianapolis journal.
Perhaps the strongest advocate Of au
extra session is the young man whose
best girls parents hold him down to one
call per week. Washington Post.
Maude-" Why do you associate with
that odious Miss Friztop?" Gcncvieve
Ssh! Miss Friztop is the sister OF
four brothers. "-Clicago News Record.
"a penny for your thoughts, my love-
He said in coaSinS tone.
sit seems an awful swindle dear,
For they're of you, PHI own
-Jnicago Intcr-Oceun.
Perthshirc Missionary Ito poor aud
motherless boyJ-"But why is your
father not steady?" Boy (reaectlvely)-
"Cause he's got u wuddeu Lee. "-Dundes
Courier. .Fa .f.
"Papa," asked the snail boyy"wha,
is dignitys' Dignity, my. son, re-
piled the father, Consists principally of
a tall hat and frock coat" Buffalo
Express.
Our gardener would make a good viii
lain in melodrama. "Why so2n
s'Because he is always laying out plot.
That amount to nothing in the cnd."-
Boston Gazette.
Bob (who has been reading sea story
81 wonder what minute gun is.
Tom2 Do you know?"' Tom-"Yes,
OF course; one that'li shoot like sixty
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Friond.-'tIt seems to me that have
seen something like that before. What
is that painting after?" Impecunious
Artist-"At present it is after. pur.
chaser. Harvard Lampoon.
Foreigner (walking through the Pub
lie Gardcn)-"What odd pieces of stat
uary you have in America!" American
-"Why, those are not statuary; they
are workmen. Harvard Lampoon.
hlttie lommy-"What is that man
cutting the trees for, papa2' Tommy:
Papa-"He is pruning them, my boy
Little Tommy-"How soon will the
prunes be ripe9" Philadelphia Record.
The Professor (sententiouslS )-"The
dread of thunder storm is one, of the
most deeprooted weaknesses of mankind.
1t is chiefly observable among old womens
oil both sexes. "-Humoristische Blaetter.
All moist and cold he soon will be-
As comfortless as no can ne.
But with n calm delight he'll grin
de showed the boys that ice was thin.
Washington Star.
Mrs. Ann-'I ordered dress pattern
here yesterday, to be sent 1 wonder il
1T has been cut yet?" Floor Walker,
'Certainly not, madam. Tie SALESMAN
said you hadn't been in yet to change
your mind. st. Louis Republic.
N. Pecls-"Td have you know.
madam, that have as much right to
ventilate my opinions as you have.n
Mrs. Peck-"But, my dear, your opin-
ions don't need ventilating. They're all
wind, anyway. "-Indianqpolis Journal.
Husband Cirrltably)-"can't you re-
member where said left my glasses al
breakfast this morning." .s.Wife-"Im
sorry, dear, 1 really can't" Husband
(peevishly)-''I'hat just shows. the for.
getfulness of you women.,,'-Harvard