The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1893-09-21
BRIGHT BITS.

Applicant-Will there be a chance to get up
in the world?
Proprietor-At half past three in the morn
1ng.-Wa Shington.
Il tell you, Thurber, exclaimed Mr.. Cleve-
land, as Ruth's sister pulled his mustache and
cried goo, gool" in CHEEKY way, that ba-
| bys almost human
Are you to be married at high noonf"
We'll we don't know yet whether it's to be
high noon or low O'Clock or three-quarter-
way-up p. m."-Chicago Record.
Customer (in book store)-I would like to
get some good book on Faith.
Clerk-Sorry, sir, but our rule is to sell
nothing to strangers except for the cash
Buffalo Courier.
He-If you will give me just one kiss, I'll
never ask for another.
She-George, 1t is bad enough to tell a false
hood, without insulting me at the same time
Boston Transcript
How are you going to get out OF inviting
Slaughter's boysto the children's picnic?"
He-Tve attended to that. 1 called them
over an hour ago and gave them the pie you
made.-Inter Ocean.
"Parslow, what is your idea OF a gentle
mani"
Il am"
by Jove, Parslow, you always do have
original ideas, don't yOu?'-Harper' s Bazaar.
Cool Headed Citizen What are YOU run
ming for? That dog is going in the opposite
Fleeing Citizen (bareheaded and frantic)-
policeman is shooting at it-Chioago Trib-
une.
II don't see how that walking delegate is
Knight Of Labor for he prevents men from
''Oh, that all right. Doesn't the Good
Book say When the knight cometh no man
can work. "
AS congressman was riding toward the
capitol IN a cable car yesterday the wind blew
l.gNs
recovered it and restored it to its owner, say
ing; Boss, here's your speaking tube
Washington News
Mrs Wickwire- just like to know what
kept you out so late last night, indeed would,
Mr. WickWire- dear, this is an era OF
returning confidence, and you ought not to de-
lay it by getting such ideas in your mind
indianapolis Journal.
you no spik Inglis' don't you!" asked
the visitor at one of the foreign villages in the
Midway Plaisance.
i zpeeg Ing lizh hundred dimes pedder azh
how you zpeeg id.'' tiercely retorted the viii
lager.-Chicago Tribune.
Look here, Mr. Tuck" said Snooper;
those cabbage seeds 1 got of you didn't come
up"
TITS Just as well they didn't" replied the
dealer I've since ascertained that they
weren't cabbage seeds. Judge.
Not Applaudlng, Perhaps Summer girl
(who has Just concluded a performance on
the hotel piano Dear me! Hear the hand
clapping out on the porch,
Envious Rival-The mosquitoes are so
thick tonight had to come fn.-New York
Weekly.
The Maid (who has had a Sunday outfit
you please mum, l met the girl you had be
fore me walking with soldier.
The MistresS-Ah, full private, 1 pre-
sumo:
The Maid-Oh, no num- he was compare
lively SOber-LOndon Funny Folks.
Smythe Brobson married?
TOmpkins-les; [ believe he has thirty
wives.
Smy he Thirty wives?
TompknS-AEout that number. l believe
AT any rate. about month ago. when 1 last
saw him. he told me that he expected to he
married every day.-Puck.
This photograph" simpered Miss Passay,
was taken just after l graduated 1t Sian
ders me horribly. don't you Think
Why, when this was taken said young
Mr. de Gay, anxious to say something com
plmentary and soothing perhaps photo
graphs hadn't-aw-yet learned the art of
retouching Chicago Tribune.